22 Burst results for "Glennon Doyle"

Abby Wambach: If you're not a good leader on the bench, you cannot call yourself a good leader on the field.

Skimm'd from The Couch

06:04 min | Last week

Abby Wambach: If you're not a good leader on the bench, you cannot call yourself a good leader on the field.

"Hey everyone. This show might sound a bit different today because we're skimming from three different couches. The scam is still working from home for the time being because of covid nineteen. Today, we have a very special guest joining us abby Wambach is here with us on skin from the couch she is a two time Olympic gold medalist, a FIFA World Cup champion, and a member of the national soccer hall of fame. Also, she hasn't slowed down in retirement she is now a New York Times. Author and equal pay activists. We I had the pleasure of meeting abby when we spoke to her wife, Glennon Doyle on the show in March and we dragged her onto the podcast as well, and if you haven't listened to that episode, go check it out. It's a good one abby. Thank you so much for joining us today. Welcome to skin from the catch. Yeah. Thanks for having me. I'm so thrilled and honored to be with you all on three different couches. Thou-. Before. We jump into our first question I have to tell you I was looking at our prep for this and there was one bullet in here. That has really made me laugh as I have to share it, which is that you used to have a special card that got you a free Burrito a day from AAA but it stopped working when you're retired that seems passive aggressive for sure to Poli what the F.. Yeah. So when I first got this card, it was Gosh I must've been ten years ago now and you know like the gold cards portly for life like essentially my name is on it and you guys don't know how I go way back. From the early days and I mean I would get a Burrito. Day You guys we're both creatures of habits. I respect this. Yeah. It was crazy and this is before we really knew how many calories were in each burrito. Bowl that I would make or Burrito early days. and. So then yeah, of course when I retired, I was super excited to still be able to get one free Burrito a week for year, but they never really checked up on it but then I think when I got a family when I married Glenn and attained. That you know fifteen dollar meal. Turned into a sixty five dollar meal or seventy dollars meal for the whole family and pull was like I. Don't know if we're GONNA keep floating this for her so. It was a good run while it lasted I'm sorry that you've struggled with that but I did make me laugh as read. So, we're going to jump into our very first question. We'd like to ask everybody it just skim your resume skin my resume. It's so funny because when you retire, that's like that's essentially what I've had to do over the last four or five years of my life since retiring from playing on the national team, and if people don't really know I played for a long time on our women's national team. So Ski. My life I'm the youngest of seven children I grew up in Rochester New York, and I went to the University of Florida and played soccer there for four seasons where after I was drafted number two by the way just remember this folks you don't get drafted number one. You can still succeed I was drafted number two out of college to go play for a team called The Washington freedom the best player in. The world at the time. Mia. Hamm played on that team and it really changed my life because we were able to develop a connection that then transferred into me getting called into the national team and playing on the national team in scoring goals in the national team, and then I had a pretty long career representing his country won a gold medal. I want a couple of medals actually I won a fee. For Women's World Cup. World. Cup. I should say it doesn't matter if you're a guy or girl that's pretty awesome in my retirement I have kind of taken on this activism role that when I play ironically when I played I was a little bit more like just go and do my job and we were going to show our activism rather than talk about it. But when you quit playing, you gotta actually transfer that. Because I can't play anymore I can't show it in the ways that I used to. So I've transitioned into becoming a public speaker and an activist and apparent and wife, and that is my skin. Has a great skin? What is it like to be really good at something where young 'cause I have? No clue. Yeah I mean it's confidence building you know I felt like. Okay. I know that I'm good at this thing over here but I think you know all of us have our little things right? Like no matter what kind of. Place we grew up or family we grew up in or what kind of trauma we we experienced as a child because we all do some of US feel like we're unlovable my case in particular some of us were neglected. Some of us were over parented like we all have problems inside of our family dynamics that for me really allowed me to and gave me the courage to propel in this kind of an individualistic career. So when I was young I kind of was a very big risk taker. I was a free spirit is what they called me, I think that's what they call children who don't follow the rules as much as their parents want them to and I think that the other side of that coin is I was really trying to get the attention of my parents, right. So the very thing that might have felt trauma or hardship from in my childhood is the very thing that made me successful. So I have to always remember that like as much as I as young as seven children. As much as all of us wanted the attention of our parents, I do think that kind of parent team actually shaped me and and allowed me to explore this competitiveness inside. In this drive and this embiid to go after what I needed and what I wanted. So I give a lot of credit to that form of parenting into that trauma

Abby Wambach Soccer New York Times Glennon Doyle Gold Medal Fifa Olympic United States Washington Bowl Glenn Hamm SKI Rochester University Of Florida New York
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

04:22 min | 2 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

"Yeah I I have times in my life where I get the by keeping tendon ever since then. I've struggled with body. I don't it's more like it's like compulsive thoughts about it. It's kind of like being harassed by somebody really need but like the caller is from inside and it so embarrassing for me. Because I feel like I'm supposed to be this this leader for women and like Spem in person until I feel like for God's sakes at least have this Saudi thing figured out in should not care and I should be freer about it but the truth is I told Abby recently that I bet I bet it gets worse and better at different times gets worse but I bet fifty percent of all of my thoughts about Food Matt makes me so furious because of the opportunity cost right because I'm such a smart woman and when I think about art or the activism. That could have happened if I had that fifty percent back. That's the class right done Messages so anyway I had gotten to the point where and this is just undiscovered when this but I feel like maybe not maybe I should could not said maybe I I'd do all the word you know. It's hard for it so hard being human. But I think 'cause everyone lies and tells us one day we're going to wake up and feel great and then eventually you realize no I'm not and then you think I should do the work and then you do the work and you get to the end of. Let's call it a worksheet for lack of a better term. And then there's a new worksheet and you're like I'm sorry what I have to. This is cyclical. This goes on forever. If I want to be a conscious person I have to do this forever. O much and then I found in it really. It's like we all have the same frequent worksheets. Our whole entire them like all of my issues are really just like three things and they just keep coming back over and over again. Every decade of my life you know would be cool. If by the time I was fifty. I was a little bit in. The body is good. Progress is where I will my work in progress. I love and you know. Maybe you've done so much work on so many systems that affect us out there that now that inner part of you is saying yeah you gotTa look at the one that affects us in here to love me the way you love the world. Yeah Yeah Yeah. Thank you so much for your answer. Next Tuesday I'll have it all figured out next Tuesday. I'm just going to get a photo of a worksheet and you'll be like I didn't him? Well my sister I love you. I'm I'm so grateful for your book. I'm so freaking proud of you. Which probably feels weird. But I am just like God. I'm proud of her. I'm talking. I'm so grateful your funding sister. Thank you for sharing all of this with with all of us extra trusting me with this beautiful community made yet. They're so cool. They really are so cool. This show is executive produced by me. Sophia Bush and since saarna our supervising producer is alison breath neck. Our associate producer is Caitlin Lee. This episode was edited by Matt. Asaki and our music was written by Jack. Garrett and produced by Mark Foster this show is brought to you by cloud ten and Bryant Anatomy powered by simple cast..

supervising producer Spem Sophia Bush Abby Matt Asaki Caitlin Lee producer executive Garrett Jack Mark Foster
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

09:16 min | 2 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

"How so many of us have been so controlled for so long and that what the world really needs is more and more women who are completely out of control and I think about this time that we find ourselves in the world is out of control and we're also so many of us stuck at home with ourselves. This could be an opportunity for that. Salo that you reference that pause to let it sink and subtle. Can you explain what you mean by out of Control Women and and can you may be as an expert at this offer to listeners? A couple of nudges toward how to get reflective with self control. I think most of my pain in my life has been trying to control things. Like I realized this when I fell in love with abby and I didn't realize I was at a controlling person before I knew abby because I just I always knew that I was like ill leader Ding Ding Ding ding foul. Always but I just thought that I had really good ideas you know and that I cared about my people so much in so I thought that I on duty was to lead and guide them in. That just always seemed to kind of work for me while I'm even the worst of well were then. I'll be so Abbas really good at communicating things to me very clearly unkindly and one day. I was doing the thing that I do. It was like manipulating the situation behind the scenes that I I think people don't know what I'm doing when I'm controlling them. You know and she stopped me and she said honey. I need you know that I see what you're doing see that you're trying to control me and what I need you to know. Is that hurts my feelings so much because it makes me feel like you don't trust me. I trust you so much. I trust you so much I just want you to trust me and believing and when I realized Oh okay so I have been trying to love people by controlling them when in fact love is the opposite of Control Control people or we can love people but we can't do book because Love Requires Trust and we only control things that we don't trust so what we're getting at with that is it. Took me to see eleven control as opposites in my relationships for me to be able to see Levin Control as opposites for myself in Mount of things that try China control about ourselves right. We can't let our hair go right. We can't let our hair would be what it is. We have to fix it. We can't let our skin be what is yet to fix it. We can't let our bodies be what they are. We have to control them with. Let our emotions what they have control them. We can't let our ambition be what is yet to control it. We can't let our dreams because big as they are. We have to control that like we can't let our body we do not love ourselves okay. Whatever friggin commercials? So commercials telling you about what is self love is not what self love is without self love is is you can lead yourself fuck alot because yourself. I do not let my body and I know that and it has nothing to do with the shape of my molly apparent give. It should about that. The the reason I know I don't love my body is because I am still constantly trying to control it because much of my day because stuff that was ingrained in my bones when I was little about how women earned surver- spectating small and so much of my time and energy thinking about food Exercise because I'm trying to control my money to keep it small okay instead of just letting it be whatever it will be so what I mean by. I stopped dyeing my hair right when I still throw bleach if it sometimes it's kind of fun but like the Grave K. I stopped Bo. Toxic my face and just let it be what it is. I stopped control. I have an end what I figured on. Oh my hair's also. Oh I've I've stopped trying to control my anger trying to manage my anger anywhere. Harnessing angered h good and smart and Weiss. Yes because you're angry about the broken nece that you see to think that every time we feel. There's something wrong with us when you know it just means there's something wrong. Every marginalized group will always be trained to be ashamed of their anger and the reason why is because angry people tended to manage impo simple simple rate. So that's what I need out of control is that I don't it means when I think she's out of control when I mean what I think is coach. She's out of their control gifts. Out of of harmful religions control. She added the beauty industries control. She's out of imbalance injust political control. She back like women who are out of control of outside power return to themselves entrust inner power. And when you're out of their control you can be in love with yourself with your knowing with your people stop gaseous when you finally see all the athletic for what it is. You know like all my feelings. Okay minimum my skin's okay. My hair results head. Mike Pain is okay. My ambition is okay. My desires or okay like Our good everything that we are trying to unlearn comes from the basic thing that women are taught in a paycheck approach. To just say you're you're bad cannot trust yourself and so we have to Jack. That on every level in return to we are good. We can trust ourselves one of my favorite things. I've read the side about your book because obviously you know I love you and I'm also your biggest fan in parade magazine. I read all the reviews obviously They said something that I loved so much. They they talked about your first two books and they said if carry on warrior and Love Warrior were about the battles over self compassion and a- numbing from life's pain untamed gives readers the blueprint for finally. Maybe having a chance at peace and what you're saying to me Abou- getting out of their control and back into self which really taps us back into each other in a real way in an authentic way that that makes my heart feel at peace. And so I'm I'm excited for everyone to have been able during this conversation to bask in your words and your wisdom but also to have the book it's not lost on me by the way that under it's perfect glittery cover with all of the colors all of the passion that does we talked about this a couple of weeks ago. The book looks like an x ray of your insides but but under the cover the book is Blue. Like it's a blueprint love it so much. I WanNa ask you one hundred more questions but I'm not going to because you have a life and children to go and you know attend to or just yourself this is do we call how you know. What in a time of Corona? I think it's all fair and good. You know what they're doing Glennon. They're in film school. That's what Tiktok is. They're learning to tell stories at it. Sounds Yeah No. I think that's completely fair but I do have one. I have one last question for you and I'm so excited to ask you were. We're talking about being a work in progress. That's that's the whole theme of the show and I. I wonder when you hear the phrase whether it's something that's personal or professional or in any other circle that goes in that ven diagram what feels like a work in progress in your life right now. Okay I'll tell you the real one did have a once. I think it's body Shit and I'm so I'm so annoyed about it so via adjust unlike. I'm forty four years old Google yesterday. The reason how old are you? Twenty three.

Ding Ding abby Salo Google Abbas Corona Mike Pain Levin parade magazine Weiss Mount of China Glennon Tiktok
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

10:04 min | 2 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

"Their partner. If you aren't also it's like it has to be end. Both you have to be pulling people out of the river and you have to be constantly looking up river in giving willing to the people who are pushing yes yes and I think that's why when people ask why women like us our so political. That's always the question right. And I like to put it in quotes and then I realized people listening at home can't see me doing that. Literally Air quoting and I'm like pulling people say like well. What do you think gives you the right to be political because everything is politics were alive? Were breathing if if we're not active politically for each other. If we're not talking about reforming these broken systems if we're not talking about making sure we're electing people who are going to keep the air clean so the kids don't die of asthma. There could be nothing more important to me and and I think you know in in in our different ways. We took very much. The Same Path. Philanthropy is always the window in. And if you really care about the philanthropic caused that gets you up in the morning. You absolutely continue sinking and getting deeper and then you see the systems at play that make this problem exist in the first place it. It feels like a in a way like mirroring of of the thing you were discussing earlier that shift from the external to the internal because really in in the personal external to the internal is deepening of your knowledge of yourself and and then when I think about it in the macro the external the stuff we get distracted by out here the shiny surface we can shift to the internal which is really in the Macro. I think about the internal being the roots. Like if we dig down and we look at the roots it changes everything and and one of the things I love so much that you've talked about how the that shift takes you from this idea of faith to a true knowing everybody has fit. Everybody has got right. I mean I have stopped having faith that anyone else knows what I should do stopped having faith that I have not believing that I can outsource my favorite to a bunch of Ms. They went to school. For a few years about God You can get a degree in God so baffling meander me beginning. Start but but that's a scary thing to think about. Because we are human beings human beings loved we want to be independent and then we don't we fiercely what's to be independent and then we've fiercely want to tell us what to do. I get and so because of that is simpler in some ways to outsource our faith to ministers. It is simpler in some ways to outsource our political lives. Which news arrives auditions? It is it is simpler to outsource our life decisions to therapists all of these things that we do to put faith in things enforces outside of ourselves To I no longer believe that is like absolutely believed that the God we speak of a higher power ego is inside of ourselves right. I do not think it's standing away from us from the outside or racing us into groups the deepest truest parts of ourselves are the divine right and that is why religion to me in some of the ways that it's setup is the hardest place to find God okay. I think that Demento list religions are the single hardest place to find God in so much as what we find about animals religions. Is it the first thing that fundamental villages have to do is separate you from yourself teach you that you cannot trust yourself okay? In Christian culture the way this is done as they pull scripture. I was told for very young. Your heart your heart is you cannot trust yourself. You cannot lean on your understanding you everything was. You cannot trust so the reason why we train people not trust themselves so we will trust them in and the scary part of religion is day to you. Trust God don't trust yourself. Trust God what they're really saying is don't trust yourself. Trust us. Trust our system exactly thing to do with God right thing the difference between religion. God is just so so what I would say is I am forever. Suspicious and wary of any institution or group of people. A person who tries to separate me from myself I will never abandoned myself again. I will be ended every I will abandoned every relationship. I will abandon every expectation that require that requires me to abandon myself so and I find that so amazing like so like talk to kids about this recently. How strange is the first right of passage? We have for human beings to give themselves away to other people like I vow that I will never abandon you to another human being like I feel like create the kind of past year olds. It is just like minute of I. You will never abandon yourself right and you will never choose anything else that requires you to get yourself because that would be proof in itself but that's a bad decision but it's like we have to have the full. We say I love you before I give myself to you. Don't we have to know who the I am? The coolest wedding I've ever been to two of my dearest girlfriends. My girlfriend emily and her wife. Michelle when they got married. They designed their ceremony to talk about each of them as individuals and their relationship as a unit and they delivered wedding vows to the I the you and the we her so God so good because they wanted to commit. Michelle wanted to commit to emily. S She is. Emily wanted to commit to show as she is. Emily committed to emily. Michelle committed to Michelle. And then they committed to the unit to the third thing. That is them together. Third thing it's a guard. It's this thing down. The wild thing is is that you can't be commit to that third thing so because you have to commit to everything that they will become the same it will always be the it will always change like army says to me all the time which I think is the most beautiful thing I love you and I already love every woman you will become. It's like we fall in love with these ideas of people but P. Easter are supposed to evolve and change over and over again these relationships where people are holding each other back because they want the person to be the same rates so we have to only fall in love with other people. We can't even follow other people. We have to fall in love with the person's process and we have to commit upholding their process. Rather than to your point clean to WHO? They are today or who they were yesterday. Hey Natasha Lazaro here you may remember me from my episode of Work in progress. I have a podcast with my husband. Moshe cash are called the endless honeymoon podcast and we think you enjoy work in progress. You'll love our show to every week. We dive into our own relationship. Give advice to callers and react to listener submitted. Deep dark secrets. We've had Kamal Nanjiani and Emily Gordon. Seth Rogan and Lauren Miller Rogan Chelsea. Handler Anthony Tiffany. Haddish Chelsea. Peretti Nick Kroll and many more. We hope you'll check out the endless honeymoon podcasts for free at YouTube dot com slash endless honeymoon. Or wherever. You get your podcast. The folks who have a simple message they want to improve the quality of people's lives through the power of CB that sounds like a tall order but they've got the knowledge and experience to deliver. They have been focusing their efforts on the science research and development of world-class CBD products. And they've been on the journey for decades they believe that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts so while all of their ingredients are effective on their own. Alex and all knows they work even better together and simple ingredients thoughtfully formulated. They can make something. That's well amazing. The US full spectrum ham boil that is rich in CD as well. As a wide range of complementary cannabinoid flavonoids turbines found in help. That's how they created the Omega Tumor Capsule Product which is a powerful blend of full spectrum. Cbd ALGAE DERIVED DHA an Curcumin from turmeric the COMBOS designed to restore balance and support optimal antioxidant activity to keep you at your best Omega Tumor xvbeauty capsules Vegan non GMO and fully traceable. You can feel good about what you're putting.

Emily Gordon Michelle partner Lauren Miller Rogan Chelsea US Nick Kroll Seth Rogan Alex Natasha Lazaro Anthony Tiffany Moshe Kamal Nanjiani
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

11:14 min | 2 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

"So good and you also think like what. We're both what we both figured out. Is that number one. We don't have anything figured out. We'll just wonderful like I don't trust anybody thinks they haven't figured out if you're not even wise enough to know you shit then. I can't mess with you injured percent. I'm like no I know things that are true for us. Like about what we deserve. And I know what the knowing means and you gave me the words for that but I don't know anything else about anything but here's what I love in a woman's okay. What you just said is what we figure out. Is it all of these things? We use to numb ourselves from pain to jump out of pain case for food booze drugs for you could dependent relations. Other goal is a million ones. That are just more socially acceptable. Okay Perfect Amer snark a or or scroll scroll. Squirrels got like all of these things. We use them. I don't develop a relationship with myself and then we wonder was. That is what we know. We are winning who have stopped abandoning ourselves so ourselves and so much of that has to do with just sitting through the pain and not running away just staying with yourself. In what else? We spend the first half of our lives being convinced by everyone on earth that we can't trust ourselves and then we spend a while figuring out that we can and then we get to live. You all know that I'm always on the hunt for one. Stop shops that provide affordable sustainable healthy products. And I've just discovered one that I'm truly obsessed with they do the affordable sustainable healthy household products from home and personal care to premium pantry staples all in one place and that place is public goods rather than buying from a whole bunch of single product. Brands public can buy all their premium. Essentials can one place with one beautiful streamlined. Dick Honestly. This might sound weird. But it's made my house feel calmer. Everything has a vibe public. Good searches the globe to find clean healthy ECO friendly innovative products extol fate. Free Shampoo Organic pesto sauce and tree free paper products. I happen to be obsessed with their popcorn and sulfate. Free Shampoo is definitely helping me. Take some sort of care of my hair during quarantine. Because I don't remember the last time I had a haircut. What about you guys knowing? What's in your products? And where they come from is important. Small changes in the way. We shop can make a big impact on personal health and the world at large and the public goods membership. Model helps keep costs low and pass on even more savings to customers. Also my favorite thing about them they plant one tree for every order placed. They planted over one hundred thousand trees since September twenty nineteen. I love public good so much that I want you guys to be able to try it out. So we have a special offer for all of our work in progress listeners. You can get fifteen percent off your first public goods order just go to public goods. Dot Com slash. Wip Or use code WIP at checkout. That's public goods. Pb LIC G. O. D. S. PUBLIC GOODS DOT COM forward slash. Wip To receive fifteen percent off your first order one of the most important things we can do for ourselves as an act of self care and also for immune systems is to get enough sleep. But it's hard to get enough sleep these days because of politics and pandemics and I don't know drama happening out there in the world. It's stressful sleeping on. A terrible mattress only adds to such stress and since we are all staying at home sheltering in place we gotta make sure we're resting that's where helixsleep comes in. They are an incredible company. That has a quiz. Takes just two minutes to complete and matches your body type in your seat preferences to the perfect mattress for you whether you like mattress. It's really soft or really firm. You sleep on your side your back or your stomach. You sleep hot. Whatever with Helix. There's a specific mattress for each. And every bodies unique taste and preferences I took the quiz could not believe how fast I got matched with my new mattress. I prefer a medium mattress and I've also a back sleeper. And I love this thing. I'm sleeping better. I fall asleep. What feels like right away. I can definitely tell that. I'm better rested in the morning. You don't have to take my word for it. Helix was awarded the number one best overall mattress. Big Both Twenty nineteen and twenty twenty g q an wired magazine and they have a ten year warranty. You get to try it out for one hundred nights risk-free the even pick it up for you if you don't love it but I have a hunch that you will helix is offering up to two hundred dollars off all mattress orders and to free pillows for our listeners. Helixsleep DOT com slash. Wip That's H. E. L. I. X. SLEEP DOT COM slash. Wip for up to two hundred dollars off so of getting sober for you was the beginning of coming back to life was beginning to put yourself out in the world. Was that the next piece. Was that the next reclamation because Momma stary changed so much for so many people but that came because of a facebook post move now the stories ridiculous I just couldn't get to meeting is dripping with children and I noticed. These people are doing this thing on facebook called the twenty five things. Do you remember that aspect of it so I was like Oh cool. I could do that I think about myself. I twenty list. I could do that but I didn't freak in read anybody else's list. I so I just wrote mine the way I Talk Okay. So like so. I voted out I left. I came back to my computer and our later and there were like my listed been shared all of these billions of times from my private page in. I had like sixteen new emails in my email box and I had a bunch of holes in a row from my sister. Always a sign that I've done something that is inappropriate a letter on her part so so my number six was. I'm a recovering food and alcohol addict but I still find myself missing booze in the same twisted way. We Miss People who repeatedly beat at Sidley. Forget true to me. Mckinley says number six was my actually Thomas that we weren't doing there. But can I tell you that this is why this is why I always knew you were my person? Because I don't know how to do the Hamas number six. I only know how to do the Glennon number six and I made a joke recently. Which was my first like thing. I was with some friends at Wha- in in one of the environments where I feel the most insane which is like events in my industry. I don't know how to socialize and do the small talk so I ran into a friend who was really going through something. He was not my story to tell anyway he was really going through thing and there was a little group of US talking and he was like. Yeah you know with all this shit going on in my life. I just don't know how to talk to anybody here. And I said well my Tendency is to ask a question that is so probably inappropriate at the Golden Globes. Swallow my own tongue to keep myself from doing it. But when people say what's up with you I wanna be like you know same old same old how are you? Are you processing your childhood trauma? Are Things going like? That's what I want to talk about. I don't know how to do what. What did you get at your d'oeuvres table? I don't get it so thank you for a very honest number six you know feeling of wanting to swell golden kids play a like. I just was like Oh my God do on and I just feel like Oh my God how do I take it back my sister? She's like you can't take it back into reps like he can't take it back so I was just embarrassed the overly vulnerable but then I started opening email. Sophea telling you what they were. They were from people who I've known entirely but who I had. No because we were so busy talking about the Goddamn harness and how perfect everything wasn't helped shiny wonderful. We were that we had never brought to each other. The heavy stuff that we are actually meant to take to help each other carrier and what I learned in those emails. They just said need to became a million different ways like a meal and so I think how you get for that to them. Writing is there's just these moments in your life where you figure out. Oh this is something I could do like. I'm just this little. Is One person the this thing I just did seems to like have helped people. I helped me because I like this like I can see myself. I can be myself. I feel healthy. When I'm doing this. I feel strong visible. I also it seems to be doing something for other people. So that's like the diagram was like a treasure map. It was just like Oh like you know like the little tink leads went off inside meals. Like this is is could be my thing. And what a weird thing like so what? I'm GonNa do is just going to say a bunch of crazy shit on the Internet. No like I knew there was an art to it and you get to choose telling could be this. Incredible key that could unlock people Not only did it help. Was it a service? People feel more human had helped me find my people because I could be at sixty four thousand cocktail parties and I will never know who people are. We're not talking about any a that helps you find gop but like one honest essay.

Helix facebook US Hamas Dick Momma stary gop Golden Globes Glennon Wha H. E. L. Mckinley Thomas
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

07:09 min | 2 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

"Is faith to me and I'll try to describe that fake to me has absolutely nothing to do with religion. It has nothing to do with like following set of rules that were set by white men yawns ago to control the world. That's not what I mean. What my favorite definition of faith is the unseen order of. Thanks okay. It's a belief in the unseen order. Things it's like there's two orders of things there's visible order which is reality but we would know as their material world like what we see when we turn on the news. What's happening out there? And then there's an unseen order that Zydus in that part of it will be looking at in order. Even though it's the only thing we've ever not rejected is like that's not right. The world's not to be like that it's supposed to be less industry more equality children's Bed with are supposed to be like. That's because we have this unseen order pressing inside is saying I'm newest Beautiful than this and we don't trust that right because we look outside of ourselves. That's as good as it's ever GonNa get really believe that imagination or that place we go to to look for the unseen order. It's not imagine isn't where we go to escape reality. It's where we go to discover the truest reality that we were meant to bring forth the world right because that's the that's why we're born. We're all born to bring something new to the world that the world's never seen before whether it's an idea or poem garden our business our family or whatever. It is what I've started to really like whenever people talk to me about why they can't do anything they were. They know to do you because we all have that discontent are. We had that longing inside of us so people will say to me. You know. I want to quit drinking but I can't. I want to go back to nursing school but you know a good mom is to stay home with our kids. I want to leave my Emotionally abusive husband. But I made my bed and so I have to lie in whenever they talked to in the language of should and shouldn't bad or supposed to or right wrong. What's the right thing to do all that language is indoctrination? There's no good. There's no should and shouldn't there is no right and wrong. Those are all culturally right because like for example so when when I found out about immorality Craig's island in a still do kind of live in this wild been diagram where like half feminist half Christian wacko place to be in one thing. That was fantastic for me. When I started looking into what I should do in the wake of infidelity said the right thing to do is one thing Christians said the right thing to do is the opposite thing would I realize is right and wrong pure. They're completely culturally constructed manmade concepts writing dogs. They keep the office in the hurt. That's it so if you want to know what was meant for your on. You can't use language like back right and wrong good and bad. None of that matters so I started to do is win and I can't do this Say Okay Stop. Tell me what is the truest most beautiful story about marriage? Imagine tell me I wanted. I WANNA go But I can't because you know a good mother about okay. What is the most beautiful story? You could tell me about a career right. What is the truest? Must Beautiful Story. You could tell me about your community. What is the truth? Must Beautiful story could tell me about a friendship and this crazy thing happens. Which is that when you. It's like we speak different languages. We speak the language of Dr Nation with all the cans and cans insurance in. Shouldn't but when you speak to somebody in the language of imagination by saying the words Choon beautiful and story shuts down imagination ignites because imagination is a storyteller and everybody the minute you say. Tell me the truth. Must Beautiful Blah Blah Blah is up and they have ideas and all different and and it feels like those ideas come from tear earlier. Point a place where we know. What's possible where we know? What's good for us? I hope you guys were enjoying today's conversation. I just WANNA give a big round of thanks to all of our sponsors during this time. Obviously things are up in the air weird and scary and so many people are trying to figure out what this means for their work and for their careers. And I'm really grateful that our sponsors are sticking with us right now so we can continue to bring content. You and I'm so grateful to all of you for listening because this is how we support them and the people who work at their companies so enjoy guys are just discovered. What is probably my new favorite subscription. And it's called Qasr box. I have to tell you about this. 'cause box as a quarterly meaning. Four Times per year subscription box curated by women for women and it's filled with all sorts of amazing products and brands. That are ethical sustainable. The all have positive mission to give back and make the world a better place. Every caused box is limited edition and it comes six to eight full-sized products everything from skincare and jewelry to homeware accessories. The last four bucks within days which I believe because you get over two hundred and fifty dollars worth of products for only fifty bucks. I got my own sample box and a few of my favorite things in it were Bento box which I've been using to eliminate waste and carry food with me a Duffel bag and jade roller alot when we're trapped at home and trying to take care of ourselves that thing is real nice each one also comes with an exclusive magazine tells the in the mission behind every product in the box. They just launched their summer box. Actually think it might be their best one yet. I love it shows up right to my doorstep and when I opened it I kind of feel like I've gotten myself a surprise gift I'd get it for myself for my mom for my friends. It really is my new favorite subscription and the best part is that because I love it you get some of it to 'cause box is giving my listeners and exclusive discount if you go to 'cause box dot com slash. Wip and use the code WIP to get your first box for thirty percent off as in you can get your first box. That's worth over two hundred fifty dollars for less than thirty nine dollars and free shipping caused.

Zydus Craig Dr Nation
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

10:10 min | 2 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

"Says go and this gorgeous majestic wild animal chases this dirty stocked. Pink bunny down this well-worn narrow that she's been doing every or every day since she was born in. The crowd is clapping a A while the clouds crowd is clapping. So I just I just thought Oh my God this is it. This is what I have been doing if it is possible for a wild animal like a Cheetah to be tamed into forgetting who she is to be tamed to spending her entire one wild and precious chasing somebody else's dirty pink bunnies then that can happen to women too I. That's what I figured out. All of these things be a good girl. Be a good mug. Be Pretty be accommodating. Be Perfect be. Don't be ambitious. Don't be all of these ideals in should and shouldn't I mean all of the ones that had to do with religion faith for be Najib Gender Sexuality All of these pages. I have been in. I just started to see them as all these dirty bonus at somebody else. Santa for me a long time ago and the reason why I am exhausted in the reason why I am overwhelmed underwhelmed and I don't feel like I'm living my shoe purpose is because I'm chasing somebody else's started peanuts Dan self okay so the zookeeper puts Tabitha in like the state field and she comes back and she says are there any questions in this little graze hand and she says is Tabitha. Sad doesn't tap amidst wild in the super says. Oh No honey. She was born here. This is a good safe life for Tabitha. She doesn't even know any better and daughter is next to meet and she not just knee right and she points in this bigger field. So Tabitha is like a Okay she she's just her. She's like sit standing up like her. Her naked has grown six inches. She stopping the periphery of the feels. Like looking out beyond the field at some place. We can't see it's like uh she looks completely majestic like in a little scared and tips goes mommy. She turned wild again. I have the Charles and I just looked at her and thought okay. I don't believe us of her. I don't believe that she doesn't know better like this. Might be all she's ever seen but she knows somewhere like if we could talk to that she'd issue would say. I don't know what's wrong with me. I know that all there is is cages. Dirty Pink bunnies labs. But inside me. I feel like I was meant to sleep under starlit skies feel like I was meant to hunt and kill. I just feel like it was also a student more beautiful than this right. There's something that animal that knows better. This is the voice of longing right. This is the voice that we all have that looks at our lives in our relationships in our communities in our nation in our world says I know this is all I've ever seen but just have a hypothesis to be more beautiful comes. Universal gas a limit right Dan. We say no. I just don't think this is right. I don't feel I feel like this is then the whole world goes out to speak great all speak rate. All your crees crazy. That's she's crazy right. That's why last line about was you're not crazy or Cheetah has because had tab with able to say I have these hunches I have these decisions supposed to be more beautiful than this actually remembering her her destiny that was that was the wilderness. The rest of the Don't be crazy this is what your life your lab your lab we trade you to be lab and that's what happened to me. Man. That's what happens to all of us. We are born individual cells and then because of the way civilization is set up. We begin to be assimilated into zoos. Right we have to be sick assimilated into families into social groups into religions into a genders into sexualities into nations. Right in cost. We have set up systems where the cost of belonging is your individuality. You are girl this is how you act and if you don't act this way you will be tribal shaved. You are Christian and this is what you will believe in. This is what you will say in here. The people you hate and if you don't new dare to admit that you don't you'll be tribal shape. Air Is what a boy does if you step out of line right. Here's what a straight person. Here's what an American does God help. Each year is in line right so what I am. Obsessed with right now is in by the way like bless our hearts. We know the way that we have surmised is to give up some of our to get me for the protection of her. Right unleash narrowly in s in order to survive. We need the protection of the hurt. But now I feel like we are actually at this point. That is a changing time in history of the world. And what I mean by that if I think now our survival as is going to be resisting the urge to get digital voices or belonging. Oh yes and I think part of it is because not to get too you know conspiracy theory on it but there are big forces in the world that have made a lot of money and clutched a lot of power by taking advantage of the human instinct to protect the heard. And now it's not so much about protecting each other so we survive. It's about hoarding and calling that protection. If we were really prioritizing our human heard we would have universal healthcare. We would have the best education system in the world. Our kids wouldn't be going to school in schools. That are jokes are teachers wouldn't be paid. The least we would be doing everything differently if we really were saying. Hey this is about our survival but we we market survival of us we we. We sort of like put that on like a sweater over a skeleton that is it's me against you and and I think women are leading the reckoning of. Oh no I can't. I can't claim to love my children and not say something about other people's children being in cages. I can't say that I support women but sit silently when I hear women talking poorly about another woman I can't we. We have to align our identity and our values and I think that those things to your point come from the knowing we're dropping below the culturing and were dropping into the knowing and we know there's something out in that field like Tabitha did and that's and we call it the all different things right. I mean I call my knowing that thing inside me always guides me towards the next right thing writing note when I figured out that none of the answers were outside of the end. Nobody else freaking knew what the hell on to right so I stopped doing. I was trained to do as a girl which is in every uncertainty look outside instead of inside inside myself. I start to look inside themselves for wisdom little grocer trade to look outside of themselves for consensus. Bramson approval around ten years old and then we became forty four year. Old Over. Who In my case are petroleum googling which I do if my husband is a cheater but a really so during that time of my life is when I realized okay? Nobody else knows what I should. Jake is nobody else has lived the disliked. I'm living with my pain in my talent in my potential and my purpose and my people other people what they should do. It's just what I should do. It's like asking people for directions to places they've never been right because every is the complete singular unrepeatable unprecedented experiment right. And there's no map. All of our problems come from trying to find a map. There's no map we're all Clueless pioneers so I figured out if I if I looked inward if I really got still enough that. There was kind of strange nudge but I don't know how to describe because it's beyond language but I describe it in untamed like this kind of liquid gold that if I just like turn inward for long enough there will be. This filling orcas nudge that would point me towards the next right a one thing at a time but I don't think of it of Tabitha's As that I feel like Tabitha's turning inward place that she that we all find inside of ourselves. That says it's supposed to be more beautiful in this. I think of that is imagination..

Tabitha Najib Dan Charles Jake Santa
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

08:21 min | 2 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Work in Progress with Sophia Bush

"Yeah and and that. That's okay but again. I think that speaks to us. Always having been told we have to be nice. We have to be welcoming. We have to smile. Think about when you watch somebody tell their their three year old child that they have to hug a relative who's unfamiliar to that child and then that little baby learns that they're feeling of I I I don't want to in their body doesn't matter because you're GonNa hug this person because it's nice. We're we're taught from an early age to go against our own instincts and then especially heaven forbid his women. If we don't like something or we just don't feel free or complete around someone will then we must be. She's a bitch if she thinks that you know and the extra heavy messages the studies about like even even awake parents. Okay even we are doing it equally. When when they're studied the the number of social cues appearance give to little girls versus little boys about the Nice thing about being likable like those. We have about an not because we're back Because we were raised in a culture that taught us a million different ways that little girls will only be left in accepting if they are accommodating in sweet and they abandoned themselves in order to not rock the boat and they caused it allow themselves have constant inner conflict so conflict So that's what we do. We want our kids to accepted. So we subconsciously Kassy's expectations Lonzo little girls and then this is what I found fast again. I can't wait to get your take on the amount of people who say to me. Okay and they say this with all good intention. I want to support women. I want to support women like you. Do I want to love women like you? I want to whatever but the women are always the ones sadden that women are always the ones talking behind MEDAC. The women always an interesting if I actually know what they're saying like I understand like it's not we can't be just like pretended that's never trill as like we can't be like they don't. That's never happened to me. Because of course quarterbacks we all know that that is not the best but I wonder if if women would stab each other in the back less if as little girls we were allowed to stab each other in the face more. It's like directness and transparency. And just saying how you feel around in little boys in little girls right. We are trained constantly to swallow it. Smiles SWALLOW IT AND SMILE. Be Pleasant pleasant but we're just as human right so what happens when a person swallowing in smiling. All the time is it always comes outside base. Well the way I think about it the image that comes to mind for me and I don't know why because I don't scuba dive so literally. I don't know why this happened. You know like scuba divers wear those oxygen tanks on their backs and those tanks are pressurized and if you put too much oxygen in tank it will explode and so when anything is overly pressurized it blows a gasket blows a leak like pipes in a house will burst and then the basement floods because there's too much volume for the amount of space and I think that's what happens to girls and that's what happens to women we've been forced to do exactly what you said. Swallow it swallow it swallow it. Swallow it and we get so overfilled then these things. It's like. When the daggers. Shoot out of the women's is at someone that's not even about the person she's looking at when when you express anger or frustration about something or you think someone is annoying. It might not even be about them. It's about the fact that you've not been able to talk about how someone hurt you years ago for so long that now. You think everyone is kind of a dickhead. Who Hurts you? You know little little boys just like punch each other on the playground and then they're over it hard to do more So so what wire women more. Because they're trained not to be direct well and this is exactly where this was supposed to be my first question but I love that. I thought I'd have a plan. This is where I want to go back and ask you to tell me the story of the Cheetah and the pink bunny because you referenced it earlier and I think it's such a soul shaking a hobby moment providing way to start a book and you open untamed with this story and then it made sense to me because when you set me your book you sent me this beautiful note and you said to me sister you are God Damn Cheetah and it made me cry and I didn't even know the story but I like I choked up when I looked at the note. So something in me knew exactly what you meant. Because I think it's something that's in all of us so we tell the people at home about Cheetahs. I was looking for a metaphor. Okay because I had just gone through this experience which I wrote about Montaigne. Which is that. I was in a broken marriage with a very tricky place for women to be. Because we're supposed to be grateful or good enough. I just kept trying to make a good enough. I just kept China. Do all the right things to do to have forgiveness just like alternating fall on my head from the sky. You'll better those ingredient angry. Oakland I and I just felt disliked longing this nagging inside of me. That just was this constant question might wasn't it's supposed to be more beautiful than this. Wasn't it supposed to be more beautiful? Miss you know and then I met abby and in that is in in untamed. But after we'd been together for a little while. I took our daughter's to safari park and we went to this thing called the Cheetah run. Okay and so. We're we're on the side of this race track kind of thing and we're waiting for this cheetah run to start. The kids are so excited. There's always families out in this zookeeper comes out and she's holding the leash of a Labrador crying so I'm right. Like cannot a scientists but if she tells my kids this labradors. Cheetah. I'm getting a refund right. So she says okay kids. Do you think that this This of the Cheetah in the kids are like no and she says you're right. This is many tablet of the Cheetah's best friend Tabitha was born into captivity was born into zoo. So we raise Taba alongside many so many could team and now Tabitha wants to do everything that many of us so I it's GONNA run. The Cheetah run while Tabitha watches and then tap. It will run it so this lab lines up on the starting line is little weird. Jeep thing has a peak stuffed bunny tied to it. Jeep soft Ninni lab. Chief is dirty pink bunny across the finish line. Then they pull tab without okay Tabitha. The Cheetah is the most gorgeous huge terrifying majestic creatures. She's like stocking her way to the starting line her muscles rippling beneath her for the crowds. All quiet.

Tabitha Ninni Kassy Oakland Taba Lonzo China Montaigne abby
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

02:59 min | 3 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

"Play on words. Ring a bell. I didn't remember that. Yeah but I don't know maybe that's something. They learned at the good place. Because they did a lot of philosophies so I I'm not saying that's not true. I just did not find it but then I did find. There was an article in the Atlantic and a few others about what would say to the trolley lamb. The Trolley Dalai Lama the trolley lomb really Ulama according to the Harvard. Professor maybe yeah. He had a thesis student. Who pose the question to Buddhist monks northern India? Like a lot of them. How did they respond? The majority of monk said they would push the person off the bridge. In this case it was a bridge same scenario. They would kill one to save many. They look at it as a matter of compassion. Of course killing. Someone is a terrible thing to do but if your intention is peering really doing it for the greater good and you're not doing it for yourself or your family. That could be justified just now thinking back that the Greek mythology had female gods. Yeah many so. We regressed in some ways. Oh Yeah I mean a lot of ways. I wonder if it talks. I wonder if that's a a a comment. On even the way you watch the ebbs and flows of world politics like there's for the last five years has been this huge populous movement globally. Yeah and that society ebbs and flows like that like it constricts and expands in its conservative than its progressive and. I just wonder if Christianity's exact time was in a retrograde of some big progressive expansion. That was the response. I don't know I'm just curious on the on the on the long-term time what why why that religion then excluded all females when there were once before that included them. It's been an awful long time for that to still be the reigning philosophy which it is Oh Yeah Yeah Yeah. Isn't it weird? Thank like there's going to be so much time after essence. Well I hope and who knows what that will look like. Our time is going to look like the Roman. Like what you're the non time at some point. Yeah what you hope is that we look like either the enlightenment the renaissance or the birth of the Greek Democracy Philosophy. All that stuff. You hope that we're in a period. That look be looked back on favorably and I don't know Vertex so we won't be alive to no no that's all that's all all right. Yeah well I love you. I love you see and how..

Trolley Dalai Lama Greek Democracy Philosophy Atlantic India Vertex Professor Harvard
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

02:59 min | 3 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

"Play on words. Ring a bell. I didn't remember that. Yeah but I don't know maybe that's something. They learned at the good place. Because they did a lot of philosophies so I I'm not saying that's not true. I just did not find it but then I did find. There was an article in the Atlantic and a few others about what would say to the trolley lamb. The Trolley Dalai Lama the trolley lomb really Ulama according to the Harvard. Professor maybe yeah. He had a thesis student. Who pose the question to Buddhist monks northern India? Like a lot of them. How did they respond? The majority of monk said they would push the person off the bridge. In this case it was a bridge same scenario. They would kill one to save many. They look at it as a matter of compassion. Of course killing. Someone is a terrible thing to do but if your intention is peering really doing it for the greater good and you're not doing it for yourself or your family. That could be justified just now thinking back that the Greek mythology had female gods. Yeah many so. We regressed in some ways. Oh Yeah I mean a lot of ways. I wonder if it talks. I wonder if that's a a comment. On even the way you watch the ebbs and flows of world politics like there's for the last five years has been this huge populous movement globally. Yeah and that society ebbs and flows like that like it constricts and expands in its conservative than its progressive and. I just wonder if Christianity's exact time was in a retrograde of some big progressive expansion. That was the response. I don't know I'm just curious on the on the on the long-term time what why why that religion then excluded all females when there were once before that included them. It's been an awful long time for that to still be the reigning philosophy which it is Oh Yeah Yeah Yeah. Isn't it weird? Thank like there's going to be so much time after essence. Well I hope and who knows what that will look like. Our time is going to look like the Roman. Like what you're the non time at some point. Yeah what you hope is that we look like either the enlightenment the renaissance or the birth of the Greek Democracy Philosophy. All that stuff. You hope that we're in a period. That will be looked back on favorably. And I don't know Vertex so we won't be alive to no no that's all that's all all right. Yeah well I love you. I love you see and how..

Trolley Dalai Lama Greek Democracy Philosophy Atlantic India Vertex Professor Harvard
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

09:12 min | 3 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

"Well I think what's great? Is You know not unlike you Lennon. I've been with someone for almost thirteen years. That just people generally like more than me. So like whatever theory. I have that I can win in a court case. It doesn't really matter at the end of the day because a million more people want to do her a favor than me and they want to be around her and it's challenged everything. The Way I think of being responsible about money I think she's completely responsible and yet it just keeps coming in fucking buckets. And so then the more she is the more arrives for her to distribute. So we have the same. I'm always still worried about money. If she gets three ketchups. And why why three ketchups? We only did what she orders too much pizza all the things and the big things too and damned docs. If if it doesn't work for her it just works to be fair. To Kristen. Irresponsibility is giving to charity. She's not my number one wife thank you had to. It's not it's the generosity. It is fear it compared to the scarcity mindset it just this scarcity person because it's not just about money it's an all day it's about control time. It's about people being in our house. It's about that everything's fine for me and everything has to be protected. Everyone's GonNa try to steal the stuff from you that you want to protect and and but it's been great to be forced to live with someone to realize I don't end up with more stuff. I'M TRYING TO PROTECT. I end up with less severe. It's so counterintuitive but here we are you the same exact experience in my house. Got And can you talk a little bit? One thing that really struck me in untamed is The way you I guess through your own experience encourage people to find their own knowing and they're sort of true untameable and what's inside them is recognizing what your memos were and acknowledging that you were given memo's can you talk a little bit about sort of what memos are and how you read them and then burnt them. Yeah well I I'll tell you a story about when I figured out that this might be an issue. Was that when I was deciding whether or not to pursue my relationship with abby or stay in my marriage which to me really felt like okay. Am I going to honor myself or abandoned myself? That's how I was thinking of it. It wasn't just like Abbie Craig. It was like am. I going to honor the self or am I just GonNa frigging. Bury it forever you know and I really did in the beginning decide. I'm going to bury it. I'm going to stay in this marriage because I believed back then that a good mother does not hurt her children that a good mother puts all of her kids needs above hers. And so that's what I was going to do and one day I was braiding my little girl's hair and she's looking at herself in the mirror and she she looked at me and she said something like mom can do my hair like yours and something about the way she said it just made me think oh every time. This little girl looks at me. She's asking a question right. She's thinking she's asking. How does a woman do her hair? How does the woman love? How does the woman live? And I realized I'm staying in this marriage for her but what I want this marriage for her and if I wouldn't want this marriage for her then why am I modeling. That love and calling that good mothering. Right and I realized that the reason I was doing that is because I was given a message. What we would call memos in the book and the memo was a good mother is a martyr right. A good mother just slowly dies. She just buries her own dreams and her emotions and her ambition and her desire forever and she just calls that love. And I just started thinking really hard about that message in that memo and I started realizing. I don't think that's true. Because what a burden for children of martyr mothers to bear right to to know that they are the reason. Their mother stopped living right to know that if they ever have children one day they will be required to stop living too. Because if we show our kids that the epitome of Motherhood is martyrdom. That's what they will try to live up to right. And I think this is why Carl Young said the greatest burden that a child can bear is the unlit life of apparent rates of. That's when I realized like there. Are these memos that we get one being a good mother is a martyr that we really have to burn rate our own? Memo's what I changed mine too. Was that a good. Mother is not a murder. A good mother is a model. It is not my duty as a mother to show my children slowly die but how to bravely live until the day they die and it's my duty to show them. That real love does not ever require a lover or the beloved disappear right in fact it always requires the love of the beloved to emerge vally and the truth that I really believe is that our children will only allow themselves to live as fully as we allow ourselves to live in fact it becomes our duty to never settle for a situation or relationship. That is less true and beautiful than the one we would. What markets the idea of this is that we all want to be good. You want to be good. We're good we want to be good and that's fine but if we default to the cultural ideas of what is good then I know for a woman. All of those messages will tell us to disappear right. If you WANNA be a good girl you have to be quiet and pretty and smile. You want to be a good way. According to cultural ideals you compensating and pleasing and you WANNA be a good co worker. You have to be grateful and a team player. If you WANNA be a a good mother you have to disappear. All of the messages to girls will tell them to get smaller and smaller right. So what all of untamed is about? What all of my life has been about for the last decade is really what will instead? Which is that if we WANNA LIVE. Examined lives conscious intentional lives. We have to reexamine every single thing. We've been taught in the world in a book in a classroom in religion and dismiss everything that insults our own soul So this is what it means is just that I know. I want to be good but I wanted to find what good means for me in terms of womanhood in terms of sisterhood in terms of marriage. Fake all of it so that. I'm not defaulting to cultural definitions of good. That will lead me. Tracked there my life so you don't ever worry about like because. I'm sure some people at first glance could take these messages and be like well wait what she's saying that you're not supposed to be grateful if you're a CO worker because you're then you're caged and tamed and you're not supposed to be accommodating if you're in a marriage because then you're caged tamed like. Do you ever worry that anyone could take these messages or that. Anyone's receiving them as like shit should hit the fan and women should rage and then we're rolling tamed. And there's anarchy. That just depends on first of all. I think it depends on what you think of when you think of untamed. I think people think of wild when they think of untamed and then they think of something. That's like that's a dangerous. You know or bad. I think when I think of wild I think of something. That's really beautiful and true and also maybe a little bit dangerous. I mean I think that one of the really hard things for women is that we are always taught that we need to be grateful. I mean had I done what a lot of people were telling me to do in my marriage which is just be grateful. It's good enough. I had a marriage that a lot of women are changed. I think is good enough right the idea that you could want more. I think is a good thing. I mean you guys like the first story I ever learned about being a woman and God was this okay. I was in second grade and my teacher. I'm a C. D. Teacher like Catholic Sunday. School called us down to the carpet. And she said okay. I'm GonNa teach you about how God made people and she said so God made Adam and Adam and God were best friends. Okay and then eve came because Adam got bored and needed a helper and everything was perfect but it was just got an atom but then eve wanted more. She couldn't just be grateful. She wanted more and she went for it. And then all hell broke loose all over the earth and suffering was unleashed forever. Go with God girls..

Adam Lennon Carl Young Abbie Craig Kristen abby murder
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

09:12 min | 3 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

"Well I think what's great? Is You know not unlike you Lennon. I've been with someone for almost thirteen years. That just people generally like more than me. So whatever theory. I have that I can win in a court case. It doesn't really matter at the end of the day because a million more people want to do her a favor than me and they want to be around her and it's challenged everything. The Way I think of being responsible about money I think she's completely responsible and yet it just keeps coming in fucking buckets. And so then the more she is the more arrives for her to distribute. So we have the same. I'm always still worried about money. If she gets three ketchups. And why why three ketchups? We only did what she orders too much pizza all the things and the big things too and damned docs. If if it doesn't work for her it just works to be fair. To Kristen. Irresponsibility is giving to charity. She's not my number one wife thank you had to. It's not it's the generosity. It is fear it compared to the scarcity mindset it just this scarcity person because it's not just about money it's an all day it's about control time. It's about people being in our house. It's about that everything's fine for me and everything has to be protected. Everyone's GonNa try to steal the stuff from you that you want to protect and and but it's been great to be forced to live with someone to realize I don't end up with more stuff. I'M TRYING TO PROTECT. I end up with less severe. It's so counterintuitive but here we are you the same exact experience in my house. Got And can you talk a little bit? One thing that really struck me in untamed is The way you I guess through your own experience encourage people to find their own knowing and they're sort of true untameable and what's inside them is recognizing what your memos were and acknowledging that you were given memo's can you talk a little bit about sort of what memos are and how you read them and then burnt them. Yeah well I I'll tell you a story about when I figured out that this might be an issue. Was that when I was deciding whether or not to pursue my relationship with abby or stay in my marriage which to me really felt like okay. Am I going to honor myself or abandoned myself? That's how I was thinking of it. It wasn't just like Abbie Craig. It was like am. I going to honor the self or am I just GonNa frigging. Bury it forever you know and I really did in the beginning decide. I'm going to bury it. I'm going to stay in this marriage because I believed back then that a good mother does not hurt her children that a good mother puts all of her kids needs above hers. And so that's what I was going to do and one day I was braiding my little girl's hair and she's looking at herself in the mirror and she she looked at me and she said something like mom can do my hair like yours and something about the way she said it just made me think oh every time. This little girl looks at me. She's asking a question right. She's thinking she's asking. How does a woman do her hair? How does the woman love? How does the woman live? And I realized I'm staying in this marriage for her but what I want this marriage for her and if I wouldn't want this marriage for her then why am I modeling. That love and calling that good mothering. Right and I realized that the reason I was doing that is because I was given a message. What we would call memos in the book and the memo was a good mother is a martyr right. A good mother just slowly dies. She just buries her own dreams and her emotions and her ambition and her desire forever and she just calls that love. And I just started thinking really hard about that message in that memo and I started realizing. I don't think that's true. Because what a burden for children of martyr mothers to bear right to to know that they are the reason. Their mother stopped living right to know that if they ever have children one day they will be required to stop living too. Because if we show our kids that the epitome of Motherhood is martyrdom. That's what they will try to live up to right. And I think this is why Carl Young said the greatest burden that a child can bear is the unlit life of apparent rates of. That's when I realized like there. Are these memos that we get one being a good mother is a martyr that we really have to burn rate our own? Memo's what I changed mine too. Was that a good. Mother is not a murder. A good mother is a model. It is not my duty as a mother to show my children slowly die but how to bravely live until the day they die and it's my duty to show them. That real love does not ever require a lover or the beloved disappear right in fact it always requires the love of the beloved to emerge vally and the truth that I really believe is that our children will only allow themselves to live as fully as we allow ourselves to live in fact it becomes our duty to never settle for a situation or relationship. That is less true and beautiful than the one we would. What markets the idea of this is that we all want to be good. You want to be good. We're good we want to be good and that's fine but if we default to the cultural ideas of what is good then I know for a woman. All of those messages will tell us to disappear right. If you WANNA be a good girl you have to be quiet and pretty and smile. You want to be a good way. According to cultural ideals you compensating and pleasing and you WANNA be a good co worker. You have to be grateful and a team player. If you WANNA be a good mother you have to disappear. All of the messages to girls will tell them to get smaller and smaller right. So what all of untamed is about? What all of my life has been about for the last decade is really what will instead? Which is that if we WANNA LIVE. Examined lives conscious intentional lives. We have to reexamine every single thing. We've been taught in the world in a book in a classroom in religion and dismiss everything that insults our own soul So this is what it means is just that I know. I want to be good but I wanted to find what good means for me in terms of womanhood in terms of sisterhood in terms of marriage. Fake all of it so that. I'm not defaulting to cultural definitions of good. That will lead me. Tracked there my life so you don't ever worry about like because. I'm sure some people at first glance could take these messages and be like well wait what she's saying that you're not supposed to be grateful if you're a CO worker because you're then you're caged and tamed and you're not supposed to be accommodating if you're in a marriage because then you're caged tamed like. Do you ever worry that anyone could take these messages or that. Anyone's receiving them as like shit should hit the fan and women should rage and then we're rolling tamed. And there's anarchy I mean I think that that just depends on first of all. I think it depends on what you think of when you think of untamed. I think people think of wild when they think of untamed and then they think of something. That's like that's a dangerous. You know or bad. I think when I think of wild I think of something. That's really beautiful and true and also maybe a little bit dangerous. I mean I think that one of the really hard things for women is that we are always taught that we need to be grateful. I mean had I done what a lot of people were telling me to do in my marriage which is just be grateful. It's good enough. I had a marriage that a lot of women are changed. I think is good enough right the idea that you could want more. I think is a good thing. I mean you guys like the first story I ever learned about being a woman and God was this okay. I was in second grade and my teacher. I'm a C. D. Teacher like Catholic Sunday. School called us down to the carpet. And she said okay. I'm GonNa teach you about how God made people and she said so God made Adam and Adam and God were best friends. Okay and then eve came because Adam got bored and needed a helper and everything was perfect but it was just got an atom but then eve wanted more. She couldn't just be grateful. She wanted more and she went for it. And then all hell broke loose all over the earth and suffering was unleashed forever. Go with God girls..

Adam Lennon Carl Young Abbie Craig Kristen abby murder
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

08:35 min | 3 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

"That's it that is it. That's what happened in that. Tv room so then. The interesting thing happened which this that was right around when I was deciding what to do with Craig after the infidelity and I have had this interesting ven diagram going on in my life then publicly which I was a suite of a feminist person and a Christian person. That is a weird diagram behalf right so at that point half the people were certain. I should do one thing and half. The people were certain that I should do another thing right at the. That's when I realized there is no right thing to do. Like right is just culturally constructed. Been depending on which group you're right so that's when I started practicing literally going into my closet and sitting in trying to practice finding whatever this freaking knowing thing is that people talked about. And I've been practicing for a long time so I had been practiced trusting with little things and I think once you start practicing trusting your own intuition in your own knowing with small things it becomes unthinkable to not honor it even if the big things. Yeah now so your new book untamed. You start the book with your at this Animal Park and they bring out a cheetah. And you're there with your kids and they also have a golden retriever. There some dog That the cheat has been raised with and the two of them. Chase this silly Pink stuffed animal attached to a jeep and the whole thing ultimately was. You're having very strong. Emotional reaction to watching Sajida live in a construct. That's quite far from what her designed was. And you start putting together these pieces that you like the Cheetah and probably most women are tamed by this Culture. And that you seek to be untamed. I sum that up efficiently. Not Just Women. Everybody just like what you just said. You know the struggle that we have which is that. We are two different things we are born with this individuality and uniqueness and then over time we have to be assimilated into groups. We're signed things. Your girl you're adorable. You're a Christian Euro. Whatever your strand. You're you're always categories right and so we want that belonging of having that tribe or that planner that identity but it of course it does start to cage us all of the things that go along with a girl I just remember watching that Cheetah and being like Oh okay so if Cheetah if a wild animal all could be tamed to forget who she is and thinks she's a lab. That should chase dirty pink bunnies all day and certainly a human being can be trained to chase things till they die and forget who they are another animal analogy that for whatever reason really registered with me as I was at the zoo and there was like a zookeeper next to me or something that worked at the zoo and I was watching them. Clean the elephants right and they chain elephants foot to this post in the ground the state so it stays still while they clean it and I said the elephant pull that stake out of the ground. It's like it's ten thousand pounds and the guy goes. Oh Yeah Yeah They. They totally can pull it out of the ground. But they don't know they can because they were hooked to it when they were babies when they couldn't pull it out of the ground and they tried and tried and tried and eventually they stopped trying and then for the rest of their life. They'll never tried to pull it out and I was like. Oh my God this like that for me is is so relevant you know okay and when you said that I just remembered. There's this little zoo down the street and they have this. They're like called little monkey islands. So you get on this little boat and you drive around this thing of water and there's teeny islands where one monkey lives on each island and my daughter said why don't they just like swim to each other. Monkeys not swim and the Super Said. Actually they can. They just don't know they can like they could get to each other it. Just don't they don't know that they can swim. It's so interesting because beyond the lessons. We're learning in this conversation. Which is that. We need to be kinder to animals. it's also that one thing that I feel like I've learned in my marriage with Dax who I do truly believe is the perfect match for me because we are so in opposition about everything and he's constantly challenging me as I feel all the feelings I think feelings are for feeling. I'm I'm completely raw. I'm constantly trying to figure out how not to feel everyone else's pain but he often or at least when he speaks to me comes from a place of the what the sports team was doing for your children which is yet but yet through it. Be a part of this community. There are certain things you can't do at the dinner table like Sob. Whatever article about Syria? You read that day. Use that on your own time right. Now we're going to communicate and it's like I think what I've learned. Is that although I do want to develop all these feel all your feelings parts of Kristen. I'm also really really grateful that he has been tamed. Wouldn't be the word but I guess. Trained MEANS ACT TO BE A part of a team kind of like what the soccer is doing for your kids where you can talk about your feelings all day but you still gotta know how to work within the human race. Which is that. Sometimes we all have to deal with our own shit and we have to sit in the pain and get over it and be a part of the team and work for a common goal absolutely. That's the pattern in our house. To Kristen is like that's really sad and also. What else can we talk about today? Abby says a lot of that stay tuned for more armchair expert dare we are supported by legalzoom legalzoom. I wish I could make a laser beam. Sound pretty good okay thanks. Health and safety is on the top of everyone's mind right now. No matter what happens you WanNa make sure your loved. Ones are protected. That's why legalzoom continues to provide a reliable way for everyone to set up the right estate plan without leaving. Your home starts with finding the answers to your questions. Do you need a last will and testament or living trust? What about an advanced healthcare directive? And what's a power of attorney thankfully you don't have to figure everything out on your own legalzoom's online resources make it easy to get started if you need to speak to an attorney. Independent attorney network is there to guide and advise you legal. Zoom isn't a law firm. So you won't have to worry about expensive billable hours adding up. Take an important step for your family. Today I used legal zoom to create our will entrust yes. It was so easy I was away. You know I'm a Ding Bat. When it comes to online stuff in this was so easy go to legalzoom DOT COM. To get started on a last will living trust in more find out you can speak to an attorney for advice on the right estate plan legalzoom where life meets legal. We are supported by square. Now you hear about how much smaller businesses are struggling right now Yeah and it's just brutal for the folks out there and the stress of it is colossal and it's fun to how different businesses are pivoting during this time and making little changes to keep the doors open and I think it's really important that we do everything we can to support those small businesses. That are finding their way through this. If you're a business owner square wants you to know it has tools that can help you. Shift Your Business and stay connected to your customers right now. No matter if you're a restaurant a retailer whatever you can start selling online with square in minutes. There's no coding or anything was square online store. And you can offer curbside pickup delivery or shipping to keep things a little safer for you and your customers. There's more to like ways for you to take payments remotely and digital gift cards your customers combined to support your business all these tools work together and they're all in one place you just need to square count to get started. See all the way square can help your business right now by visiting square dot com slash go slash DAX..

attorney Kristen Craig Animal Park legalzoom legalzoom Sajida soccer Dax business owner Syria Ding Bat Abby
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

08:35 min | 3 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

"Adds that is it. That's what happened in that. Tv room so then. The interesting thing happened which this that was right around when I was deciding what to do with Craig after the infidelity and I have had this interesting ven diagram going on in my life then publicly which I was a suite of a feminist person and a Christian person. That is a weird diagram behalf right so at that point half the people were certain. I should do one thing and half. The people were certain that I should do another thing right at the. That's when I realized there is no right thing to do. Like right is just culturally constructed. Been depending on which group you're right so that's when I started practicing literally going into my closet and sitting in trying to practice finding whatever this freaking knowing thing is that people talked about. And I've been practicing for a long time so I had been practiced trusting with little things and I think once you start practicing trusting your own intuition in your own knowing with small things it becomes unthinkable to not honor it even if the big things. Yeah now so your new book untamed. You start the book with your at this Animal Park and they bring out a cheetah. And you're there with your kids and they also have a golden retriever. There some dog That the cheat has been raised with and the two of them. Chase this silly Pink stuffed animal attached to a jeep and the whole thing ultimately was. You're having very strong. Emotional reaction to watching Sajida live in a construct. That's quite far from what her designed was. And you start putting together these pieces that you like the Cheetah and probably most women are tamed by this Culture. And that you seek to be untamed. I sum that up efficiently. Not Just Women. Everybody just like what you just said. You know the struggle that we have which is that. We are two different things we are born with this individuality and uniqueness and then over time we have to be assimilated into groups. We're signed things your girl. You're adorable era Christian Euro. Whatever your strand. You're you're always categories right and so we want that belonging of having that tribe or that planner that identity but it of course it does start to cage us all of the things that go along with a girl I just remember watching that Cheetah and being like Oh okay so if Cheetah if a wild animal all could be tamed to forget who she is and thinks she's a lab. That should chase dirty pink bunnies all day and certainly a human being can be trained to chase things till they die and forget who they are another animal analogy that for whatever reason really registered with me as I was at the zoo and there was like a zookeeper next to me or something that worked at the zoo and I was watching them. Clean the elephants right and they chain elephants foot to this post in the ground the state so it stays still while they clean it and I said the elephant pull that stake out of the ground. It's like it's ten thousand pounds and the guy goes. Oh Yeah Yeah They. They totally can pull it out of the ground. But they don't know they can because they were hooked to it when they were babies when they couldn't pull it out of the ground and they tried and tried and tried and eventually they stopped trying and then for the rest of their life. They'll never tried to pull it out and I was like. Oh my God this like that for me is is so relevant you know okay and when you said that I just remembered. There's this little zoo down the street and they have this. They're like called little monkey islands. So you get on this little boat and you drive around this thing of water and there's teeny islands where one monkey lives on each island and my daughter said why don't they just like swim to each other. Monkeys not swim and the Super Said. Actually they can. They just don't know they can like they could get to each other it. Just don't they don't know that they can swim. It's so interesting because beyond the lessons. We're learning in this conversation. Which is that. We need to be kinder to animals. it's also that one thing that I feel like I've learned in my marriage with Dax who I do truly believe is the perfect match for me because we are so in opposition about everything and he's constantly challenging me as I feel all the feelings I think feelings are for feeling. I'm I'm completely raw. I'm constantly trying to figure out how not to feel everyone else's pain but he often or at least when he speaks to me comes from a place of the what the sports team was doing for your children which is yet but yet through it. Be a part of this community. There are certain things you can't do at the dinner table like Sob. Whatever article about Syria? You read that day. Use that on your own time right. Now we're going to communicate and it's like I think what I've learned. Is that although I do want to develop all these feel all your feelings parts of Kristen. I'm also really really grateful that he has been tamed. Wouldn't be the word but I guess. Trained MEANS ACT TO BE A part of a team kind of like what the soccer is doing for your kids where you can talk about your feelings all day but you still gotta know how to work within the human race. Which is that. Sometimes we all have to deal with our own shit and we have to sit in the pain and get over it and be a part of the team and work for a common goal absolutely. That's the pattern in our house. To Kristen is like that's really sad and also. What else can we talk about today? Abby says a lot of that stay tuned for more armchair expert dare we are supported by legalzoom legalzoom. I wish I could make a laser beam. Sound pretty good okay thanks. Health and safety is on the top of everyone's mind right now. No matter what happens you WanNa make sure your loved. Ones are protected. That's why legalzoom continues to provide a reliable way for everyone to set up the right estate plan without leaving. Your home starts with finding the answers to your questions. Do you need a last will and testament or living trust? What about an advanced healthcare directive? And what's a power of attorney thankfully you don't have to figure everything out on your own legalzoom's online resources make it easy to get started if you need to speak to an attorney. Independent attorney network is there to guide and advise you legal. Zoom isn't a law firm. So you won't have to worry about expensive billable hours adding up. Take an important step for your family. Today I used legal zoom to create our will entrust yes. It was so easy I was away. You know I'm a Ding Bat. When it comes to online stuff in this was so easy go to legalzoom DOT COM. To get started on a last will living trust in more find out you can speak to an attorney for advice on the right estate plan legalzoom where life meets legal. We are supported by square. Now you hear about how much smaller businesses are struggling right now Yeah and it's just brutal for the folks out there and the stress of it is colossal and it's fun to how different businesses are pivoting during this time and making little changes to keep the doors open and I think it's really important that we do everything we can to support those small businesses. That are finding their way through this. If you're a business owner square wants you to know it has tools that can help you. Shift Your Business and stay connected to your customers right now. No matter if you're a restaurant a retailer whatever you can start selling online with square in minutes. There's no coding or anything was square online store. And you can offer curbside pickup delivery or shipping to keep things a little safer for you and your customers. There's more to like ways for you to take payments remotely and digital gift cards your customers combined to support your business all these tools work together and they're all in one place you just need to square count to get started. See all the way square can help your business right now by visiting square dot com slash go slash DAX..

attorney Kristen Craig Animal Park legalzoom legalzoom Sajida soccer Dax business owner Syria Ding Bat Abby
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

11:31 min | 3 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

"Like personally gut wrenching. It was like. How could you do this to our family type thing but still at the time? Everybody had ideas about what I should do. I just knew that it wasn't time for me to leave yet. There was unfinished business. There and I think I knew that if I left him with that much rage that we would never be able to co parent. We had to work through something right. Yeah so we did. We worked our asses off for years and he did every single thing that a person could ask of another human being. He tried so hard. He went to all the therapy. He did everything right and I was still just like low level. Reiji all the time. No matter what I did no matter how hard I tried. I was just like prayed for forgiveness thing to land on me But it wouldn't really and this is a really fun part of the story. Which is you? Write a book about this experience. This is the moment in your life. I just really the projection stops character. Default mine is like I made my bed and I will fucking lay in misery so I wrote a book about salvaging a marriage that had been rocked by infidelity. And the fact that you announced that you're getting divorced. Was it two weeks after the book came out before before God. And this was an oprah book club the money and things that have gone to getting this book to an Tagline what epic marriage redemption story is. How is being touted? This is incredible. So I'm the first event launching lawyer I event I've ever done for lower out in that world and it's like it's this librarian's convention and there's thousands of librarians there and I'm sitting at this table in this back room with a bunch of other writers before the event happens and I look over into the doorway and abby is standing in the doorway part part of me telling the story because it's so cheesy and I can't believe that this is the story. I have to tell you but what I have to tell you is that all of my being was like their sheets and she was a stranger is a complete stranger went awkwardly. Doing they're not a librarian. Professional Soccer Player many times decorated two time gold medal winner yet. She was launching a book to sing her memoir. She's launching forward. And actually this part is not in the book. Because I didn't know how to explain this is. It was so weird but it's our favorite family party story. Which is that for some reason. When I saw her in the doorway I stood up and opened my arms which no one can understand to this day. I just it was like I could not contain myself so that I was standing up and had to figure out how to get back to the chair which was awkward. It was one of the most awkward moments in my life. Can I s really quick. Were you a fan of soccer? Did you know that she was no? My Ex husband was a a semi pro soccer player so got a stationary same position. Did they play the same position? I don't think so. I think obvious in the front and Craig was in the back. Metaphor High Crag so yes so so then the crazy thing is that we started emailing back and forth. We spent a couple of hours together in that room with all the librarians and then we both went our separate ways and then we started emailing each other and you know months later like I admitted to myself that I was in love with her and I told Crag as close to possible from when I knew told him. An I- disassembled my entire life and we had never even been in a room together alot like we had never seen each other. From that day we met at the Librarian's convention so that was wild. So you started your exit before you even started dating. Oh Yeah did the exit point exit. We both disassembled our entire lives. Then after all of that after having told my people all things then we net in La to like US fifty. This was a bit so since you had this baseline your whole life of I'm crazy. Yeah that was part of your narrative. Were you thinking that during this like I'm in love with someone? I met one center room actively crazy that one of them down we all agree was extreme. It's extremely no because it felt to me the only the only other time my life I've ever been assure as I was with abby was when I found out I was pregnant chase so in that scenario I found myself holding a positive pregnancy test on a bathroom floor almost dead from addiction like I had nothing left it. No I burn every bridge in my life. I was so sick and and there was just this like yes inside of me. That was completely undeniable. Incomplete opposition to all of my reality right. There was nothing in my life. That would have proven like you'd be a good mom like of course this makes sense it made no and I was one hundred percent sure that I was going to have shays become. And that's how I felt with abby if felt like oh a lot made sense to me suddenly. Maybe this is the reason that I've never been able to understand what love is like. Maybe this is the reason I've never been able to be intimate with another human being. Maybe this is the reason I felt like. I've been slowly dying for inside of love for so long. It sounds crazy but you when I told Craig it was like. I don't know if this thing's GonNa work out with Abby. The Hell knows about that. I'm not leaving just for abby leaving because now I know I can't pretend anymore but this is the fit like the thing that we have is is is love. I understand now that this isn't what that could be so it wasn't leaving just because of Abbey was leaving because I could no longer pretend that my marriage was real in that moment. Did that give you the forgiveness? You had been hoping you could give him like when we're able to see her. It was like oh I can let this art go. I love that question and I think I think a lot about what forgiveness is through this process and now and I think sometimes we just wait for forgiveness to just like fall upon us. Like forgiveness is a thing that just happens to us but but what I would keep saying to myself like that that level river of rage that I was describing to you the narrative of that river was. How could he do this to me? Like how could he abandoned me like this? How could he and what I realized after a while he'd already done it like the question for me was widened. You keep doing this. Why are you abandoning yourself right? The first time I felt real forgiveness for Craig was after our divorce mediation when we were in the elevator. Together going back down to the parking lot and I looked over at him and for the first time I felt complete and total empathy and kindness and fondness for him. And I think that's because I had finally done the work to make myself safe right. Yeah you wanted him to give you a feeling that he can't give you exactly exactly forgiveness has to be forged by you sometimes by restoring whatever boundary makes you feel unsafe and Glennon. You talk a lot in your book about the knowing which I love so much because I feel like I have a problem listening to my knowing because you have to kind of stop and really listen to your internal voices. Do you feel like that decision to end the marriage for good and then maybe start something with. Abby was the first or perhaps second maybe the second being after you decided to have chase and become the the second time you would actually listened to your knowing or were you familiar with it from other small decisions. I started actually practicing that a little while after I found myself on my bed at three o'clock in the morning googling should I stay with my husband who cheated on me but is a good dad. Kristen if she typed in should the rest would fill in size out. One time. Dax Google on my phone just to to corner me and cage me how to get away with murdering your husband history case that's so smart tax could job. Yeah covering your tracks so so that was just a moment. It was like a rock bottom of having any sort of inner wisdom. I was googling what to do the most important decision of my life right. I put the story on tamed. I my son was having friends over. And he had a bunch of boys. A bunch of girls over peaked. My head in and said is anybody hungry and this really amazing thing happened. Which is that all of the boys in the room without taking their eyes off the TV. They just said yes. Aqap the girls did something completely different. Okay every single girl not public six of them they each took their eyes off the TV and they started looking at each other's faces. Yep Okay looking at each other's faces to find out if they themselves were hungry inside their own bodies right okay and then. Some kind of mental telepathy started happening like between these children's faces and then they somehow silently appointed a spokes. Girl still. Don't know how this happens but this little freckled sweet braided child turns toward me and she says thank you were fine and this was right around the same time as googling and I realized that's how this happened to me right like because in our culture in many ways boys are taught in any moment of uncertainty to look inside themselves. Find an answer right and girls are taught to look outside themselves for consensus for permission. I'll add just for my side of the spectrum. It's deeper than that. It's that indecision is weakness so are endless. Threat is that we are weak and important and so- indecision as a sign of that so we're fighting are thing which is weakness.

abby Craig soccer Metaphor High Crag gold medal La oprah US Google Crag shays Glennon Abbey Kristen
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

11:31 min | 3 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

"Like personally gut wrenching. It was like. How could you do this to our family type thing but still at the time? Everybody had ideas about what I should do. I just knew that it wasn't time for me to leave yet. There was unfinished business. There and I think I knew that if I left him with that much rage that we would never be able to co parent. We had to work through something right. Yeah so we did. We worked our asses off for years and he did every single thing that a person could ask of another human being. He tried so hard. He went to all the therapy. He did everything right and I was still just like low level. Reiji all the time. No matter what I did no matter how hard I tried. I was just like prayed for forgiveness thing to land on me But it wouldn't really and this is a really fun part of the story. Which is you? Write a book about this experience. This is the moment in your life. I just really the projection stops character. Default mine is like I made my bed and I will fucking lay in misery so I wrote a book about salvaging a marriage that had been rocked by infidelity. And the fact that you announced that you're getting divorced. Was it two weeks after the book came out before before God. And this was an oprah book club the money and things that have gone to getting this book to an Tagline what epic marriage redemption story is. How is being touted? This is incredible. So I'm the first event launching lawyer I event I've ever done for lower out in that world and it's like it's this librarian's convention and there's thousands of librarians there and I'm sitting at this table in this back room with a bunch of other writers before the event happens and I look over into the doorway and abby is standing in the doorway part part of me telling the story because it's so cheesy and I can't believe that this is the story. I have to tell you but what I have to tell you is that all of my being was like their sheets and she was a stranger is a complete stranger went awkwardly. Doing they're not a librarian. Professional Soccer Player many times decorated two time gold medal winner yet. She was launching a book to obstacle that seeing her memoir. She's launching forward and actually. This part is not in the book. Because I didn't know how to explain this is. It was so weird but it's our favorite family party story. Which is that for some reason. When I saw her in the doorway I stood up and opened my arms which no one can understand to this day. I just it was like I could not contain myself so that I was standing up and had to figure out how to get back to the chair which was awkward. It was one of the most awkward moments in my life. Can I s really quick. Were you a fan of soccer? Did you know that she was no? My Ex husband was a a semi pro soccer player so got a stationary same position. Did they play the same position? I don't think so. I think obvious in the front and Craig was in the back. Metaphor High Crag so yes so so then the crazy thing is that we started emailing back and forth. We spent a couple of hours together in that room with all the librarians and then we both went our separate ways and then we started emailing each other and you know months later like I admitted to myself that I was in love with her and I told Crag as close to possible from when I knew told him. An I- disassembled my entire life and we had never even been in a room together alot like we had never seen each other. From that day we met at the Librarian's convention so that was wild. So you started your exit before you even started dating. Oh Yeah did the exit point exit. We both disassembled our entire lives and then after all of that after having told my people all things then we net in La to like us fifty this was a bit so since you had this baseline your whole life of I'm crazy. Yeah that was part of your narrative. Were you thinking that during this like I'm in love with someone? I met one center room actively crazy that one of them down we all agree was extreme. It's extremely no because it felt to me the only the only other time my life I've ever been assure as I was with abby was when I found out I was pregnant chase so in that scenario I found myself holding a positive pregnancy tests on a bathroom floor almost dead from addiction like I had nothing left it no. I burned every bridge in my life. I was so sick and and there was just this like yes inside of me. That was completely undeniable. Incomplete opposition to all of my reality right. There was nothing in my life. That would have proven like you'd be a good mom like of course this makes sense. It made no one hundred percent. Sure that I was going to have shays become. And that's how I felt with abby if felt like oh a lot made sense to me suddenly. Maybe this is the reason that I've never been able to understand what love is like. Maybe this is the reason I've never been able to be intimate with another human being. Maybe this is the reason I felt like. I've been slowly dying for inside of love for so long. It sounds crazy but you when I told Craig it was like. I don't know if this thing's GonNa work out with Abby. The Hell knows about that. I'm not leaving just for abby leaving because now I know I can't pretend anymore but this is the fit like the thing that we have is is is love. I understand now that this isn't what that could be so it wasn't leaving just because of Abbey was leaving because I could no longer pretend that my marriage was real in that moment. Did that give you the forgiveness? You had been hoping you could give him like when we're able to see her. It was like oh I can let this art go. I love that question and I think I think a lot about what forgiveness is through this process and now and I think sometimes we just wait for forgiveness to just like fall upon us. Like forgiveness is a thing that just happens to us but but what I would keep saying to myself like that that level river of rage that I was describing to you the narrative of that river was. How could he do this to me? Like how could he abandoned me like this? How could he and what I realized after a while he'd already done it like the question for me was widened. You keep doing this. Why are you abandoning yourself right? The first time I felt real forgiveness for Craig was after our divorce mediation when we were in the elevator. Together going back down to the parking lot and I looked over at him and for the first time I felt complete and total empathy and kindness and fondness for him. And I think that's because I had finally done the work to make myself safe right. Yeah you wanted him to give you a feeling that he can't give you exactly exactly forgiveness has to be forged by you sometimes by restoring whatever boundary makes you feel unsafe and Glennon. You talk a lot in your book about the knowing which I love so much because I feel like I have a problem listening to my knowing because you have to kind of stop and really listen to your internal voices. Do you feel like that decision to end the marriage for good and then maybe start something with. Abby was the first or perhaps second maybe the second being after you decided to have chase and become the the second time you would actually listened to your knowing or were you familiar with it from other small decisions. I started actually practicing that a little while after I found myself on my bed at three o'clock in the morning googling should I stay with my husband who cheated on me but is a good dad. Kristen if she typed in should the rest would fill in size out. One time. Dax Google on my phone just to to corner me and cage me how to get away with murdering your husband history case that's so smart tax could job. Yeah covering your tracks so so that was just a moment. It was like a rock bottom of having any sort of inner wisdom. I was googling what to do the most important decision of my life right. I put the story on tamed. I my son was having friends over. And he had a bunch of boys. A bunch of girls over peaked. My head in and said is anybody hungry and this really amazing thing happened. Which is that all of the boys in the room without taking their eyes off the TV. They just said yes. Aqap the girls did something completely different. Okay every single girl not public six of them they each took their eyes off the TV and they started looking at each other's faces. Yep Okay looking at each other's faces to find out if they themselves were hungry inside their own bodies right okay and then. Some kind of mental telepathy started happening like between these children's faces and then they somehow silently appointed a spokes girl okay. I still don't know how this happens but this little freckled sweet braided child turns toward me. And she says thank. You were fine Ha and this was right around the same time as googling and I realized that's how this happened to me right like because in our culture in many ways boys are taught in any moment of uncertainty to look inside themselves. Find an answer right and girls are taught to look outside themselves for consensus for permission. I'll add just for my side of the spectrum. It's deeper than that. It's that indecision is weakness so are endless. Threat is that we are weak and important and so it indecision as a sign of that. So we're fighting are thing which is weakness.

abby Craig soccer Metaphor High Crag La gold medal oprah Google Crag shays Glennon Abbey Kristen
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

01:57 min | 3 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

"Welcome welcome home to armchair expert on Deck Shepard. I'm sitting next to a very small powerful mouse. That's me the name of Monica Padme. Doing fantastic oh good. Well we have a very wonderful guest today. Glennon Doyle Glennon. Doyle is the author of the Number One New York Times bestseller untamed and love warrior as well as the New York Times bestseller of carry on warrior. She is our mothers and our wives favourite personalized. She is so much so that we asked Chris to come join us for this episode since she pretty much knows. All these books by Har- Yes. She reads them over and over again. So it's a full House today and we hope you enjoy Glennon Doyle. We are supported by best fiends. Oh my goodness has there ever been a better time for best fiends? I think we all need a break now. And then but why not keep your brain active while you relax? That's why Monica and I Love Fun Puzzle Games and specifically best means it's an oasis of fun you can take with you everywhere you go. I don't like slugs you don't know they're the bad guy. Why no but they're also kind of cute. All characters are cute even the ones. I don't like when you need some meat time best. Fiends is a fun escape from the everyday there are thousands of challenges and tons of cute characters to collect along the way. I love this the most because I can play it without Wifi access or cell service generally planet on airplanes in lobbies on. Subways you name it. You can take it anywhere and it keeps my brain active which I absolutely love. It's a unique an exciting puzzle. Experience unlike other puzzle games out there. Best FIENDS UPDATES game monthly with new levels and events so it never gets old. It's hours of fun right at your fingertips and you can even play offline with over one hundred million downloads. In tons of five star reviews. Best fiends is a must play. Download means free on the apple APP store or Google play. That's friends without the our best fiends..

Glennon Doyle Glennon Doyle Glennon Monica Padme New York Times Deck Shepard Har- Yes apple Chris Google
"glennon doyle" Discussed on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

01:57 min | 3 months ago

"glennon doyle" Discussed on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

"Welcome welcome home to armchair expert on Deck Shepard. I'm sitting next to a very small powerful mouse. That's me the name of Monica Padme. Doing fantastic oh good. Well we have a very wonderful guest today. Glennon Doyle Glennon. Doyle is the author of the Number One New York Times bestseller untamed and love warrior as well as the New York Times bestseller of carry on warrior. She is our mothers and our wives favourite personalized. She is so much so that we asked Chris to come join us for this episode since she pretty much knows. All these books by Har- Yes. She reads them over and over again. So it's a full House today and we hope you enjoy Glennon Doyle. We are supported by best fiends. Oh my goodness has there ever been a better time for best fiends? I think we all need a break now. And then but why not keep your brain active while you relax? That's why Monica and I Love Fun Puzzle Games and specifically best means it's an oasis of fun you can take with you everywhere you go. I don't like slugs you don't know they're the bad guy. Why no but they're also kind of cute. All characters are cute even the ones. I don't like when you need some meat time best. Fiends is a fun escape from the everyday there are thousands of challenges and tons of cute characters to collect along the way. I love this the most because I can play it without Wifi access or cell service generally planet on airplanes in lobbies on. Subways you name it. You can take it anywhere and it keeps my brain active which I absolutely love. It's a unique an exciting puzzle. Experience unlike other puzzle games out there. Best FIENDS UPDATES game monthly with new levels and events so it never gets old. It's hours of fun right at your fingertips and you can even play offline with over one hundred million downloads. In tons of five star reviews. Best fiends is a must play download. Best fiends free on the apple APP store or Google play. That's friends without the our best fiends..

Glennon Doyle Glennon Doyle Glennon Monica Padme New York Times Deck Shepard Har- Yes apple Chris Google
The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

Zen Parenting Radio

06:55 min | 4 months ago

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

"And so the Pan. So we're all at home. We're in the middle of this pandemic. There's a lot of crisis around us and I'm dreaming about really really weird things and I am finding that my daughters are too. They've been telling me some of their dreams and I think that some times the dreams are scary and sometimes they're just anxiety provoking the one of my dreams this morning. I told Todd was that I was getting ready for a formal with all my girlfriends from college at. I've been talking to them more than usual. Which is probably part of the reason. And then I realized that I had to get ready for a formal and I needed to take a shower so the only shower I could think of was this one at a fraternity house across the street so I went to returning house across the street. Execs were all girls like shout. What's happening and took a shower and realized where I was while I was in the shower and that there would be boys men there and then I had no towel that I had no clothes. Did you have your razor shaving cream? It's so funny that you would say that. I had a razor because the whole reason I realized I needed to go take a shower. Was I needed to shave my legs so like that? I had thought about but you know. So what does all that mean? I don't analyze it many ways but I think it's anxiety and feeling exposed and feeling afraid and not realizing having uncertainty and You know feeling in inability to do anything at that moment which I feel most of the day like I wave in and out of kind of normal moments I and I'm using the word normal to me and like I'm working. I'm cooking I'm you know preparing. I'm cleaning I'm talking with my family And then everything feels kind of typical and then I wave into like. Oh my gosh and I think we're all going through that and so it comes out in our dreams so you know for those of you who are having and my dreams are very vivid In that could be because I'm sleeping longer. That is one thing that's happening. Is I think you and I used to average about six six and a half seven closer to a now times nine sometimes. Eight or nine now which is great. I mean if we can take these little things pandemic. It's maybe that we're getting more sleep in and we need to. I think kids are going to be taller. As a result of pandemic profitably grow when we sleep and thinking my teenagers right now they have to wake up at six. Am to go to school in normal times and they're getting at least somewhere between two and four hours extra sleep as results pandemic. Yeah and I think that we're GONNA taller kids. I mean who I mean. I'm just making stuff up rested for sure and well. Rested means a lot of different things and they need it right now because one of the things that we have to do right now. There are. Many things we have to do is keep our immune system strong for ourselves. Our family and for everybody. I think the biggest message I for myself personally but also that I think my kids really get now and I know that just from being on social media that majority of people get this is. It's not just about us is. I'm not like girls take your vitamins. So you won't get sick. It is rest take your vitamins. Drink water do that because we are part of a bigger picture and we need to do our part to be as healthy as possible and to stay at home and to not create more problem. Are you trying to say that we are helping our fellow brothers and sisters by getting good rest correct? I have some friends who are. GonNa be delighted with that because they love to sleep my friend Dean Dean in case. You're listening which I know you're not you're saving the world by sleeping so much he's been saving the world. Well done well and it really is. It is the these things that I was just talking to. I was just telling the story I was just talking to my girlfriend who was just asked to do some work for the city of Chicago. And it's kind of a big deal What she's GonNa do and I got really deep with her about what she's being asked to do. Not only does she get to channel all of her create a creative juices and her work ethic and her grief and her desire to help and support into something but then it will result in something that other people will be able to see and enjoy and appreciate and possibly hand down two grandchildren. She is in. She's in this historical moment. Actually being able to do something to help the greater good and hers is more tangible. Because she's doing it for the city of Chicago but we all have that opportunity and first of all taking care of ourselves. That's the that's the basic one because you've got that's our foundation our grounding but then we all have that opportunity And I give you Mother Teresa quote please. So for those of us who feel like we're not doing enough. Yeah because I feel kind of helpless and I I do some but I could do more. And this is not going to direction of shooting myself but Mother Teresa said if you want to change the world go home and love your family right and for those of us who are kind of in that mode you are doing something by loving your family so and I think that for people who you know when we talk about like crisis is just a. I think. Glennon used to say this. I want to give her credit because I think she's one. Climate is reading Glennon doyle who wrote untamed. I'm sure you're all reading it at this point But you know long time ago this was even before love warrior. We you know she's hurt she. I don't even think this was part of a book. But she talked about how crisis is like a a sifter And that when you have a crisis everything that's non essential get sifted out. Who and it's a really good metaphor To understand what we're going through right now is that we have always talked about crisis on this show you and I but crisis says are there there What's the word there relative right? This is a global crisis and so what's essential is being made clear to all of us at the same time. So there's people out there including me like Oh. I need a haircut well. My haircut isn't nearly as important today that it was a month ago. Correct so all these things that we were worried about in February rats get sifted out so I guess one teachable lesson out of all this a year from now when everything's back to normal and we're worried about our haircut. Maybe we can recall this saying you know what? I wasn't worried about my hair back. In March of Twenty

Mother Teresa Chicago Glennon Todd Dean Dean Doyle
Glennon Doyle: Untame Yourself

Skimm'd from The Couch

04:38 min | 5 months ago

Glennon Doyle: Untame Yourself

"My one thing right and my one thing is like trying as much as I can to stay in integrity so since that's my one thing. It didn't matter what everybody else was saying to me. How was it to actually live that now? Hearing you and seeing beautiful family and everything I don't want to say you know worked out but looks like you guys have fallen into this beautiful family together going back to that. How was it to actually make that decision decision to fall in love with via the decision to go public and just let the crowd falls? I mean for me. The thing that was most hard about that decision had nothing to do with public opinion or the book or whatever it was about my children. It was about my family as you. Well know it's like there's the world which lake will do whatever it will do but then really your world is the people that you can touch around you so those were the people that I was most worried about and I think that the reason I was worried is because I was just tamed. Into believing that mother is a murder right so I believe that a good mother does not break her child's heart. Good mother does not break up her family. So I might know in the depth of my bones that I am in love with this woman that I meant to be with her and this is like myself saying yes please but I can't do that because it would screw my people and then one day I was breeding my daughter's hair and I just had this thought which was. Oh my God I am staying in this marriage for her but what I want this marriage for her and if I would not want this marriage for her then why am I modeling. Bad love for her and calling that good mothering. Which made me realize how deeply I had been tamed right. The cultural messages to women are always no matter. What venue hear them from? Get as small as you can until you disappear. The way they do that to mothers is to say the ideal mother is a martyr the ideal mother is someone who just buries her dreams. Her ambition her feelings desires and calls that love and it took me looking at my daughter and knowing that she's looking to me to see. How does a woman live to figure out? No no no. The Taming of motherhood is saying no a mother is not a murder. A mother is a model. Children will only do will only allow themselves to live as fully as their parents did. So the call of motherhood the call of parenting is to refuse to settle for any conversation relationship room institution. That is less beautiful than the one we would want for our babies and what I figured out was this. Little girl does not need need me to save her. What this little girl needs to do is watch her mother. Save herself for me. It was one at a time figuring out that the one of the lies that women have been sold is that we cannot trust ourselves. We cannot go for what we want because it will be bad for our people that what we need and what are people need are mutually exclusive. Right that's why you always hear. Oh I would do that. I would go back to school but I can't because my kids I would do this but I can't because my kids and that's a lie that's utter Horse Shit like what is true and beautiful for us is always eventually what is true for our people right and there is no such thing as one way liberation. When you for yourself you automatically free everyone around you because freedom is contagious. So at the time you've built up an audience that was predominantly Christian women. What did you think the reaction was going to be? And then what was it in actuality? I had always been like for the decade before that I had been an outspoken completely like flaming supporter of the Algae. Btcu community like. I've been more gay. Pride parades that abby has and she's like the gasquet that ever gate I was intentionally creating a culture that celebrated inclusivity and differences and sexualities of all kinds. If you're still a part of my community that you understood that this announcement was less of a departure from our values and more like a manifestation of our values right and that's one of the beautiful things about living in integrity. Is that if you're always saying the thing that you believe on the inside you're always losing the right people so everybody that was there. They were because they had a they weren't all like minded but they were like hearted right. They were people that I would expect to say. Yes you have shown up you have shown us your untamed and whether we understand or not you are both held and free here

Murder Abby
Untame The Companies: Untamed Voices and Mental Health

Skimm'd from The Couch

07:55 min | 5 months ago

Untame The Companies: Untamed Voices and Mental Health

"Talking about mental illness. I think one being an entrepreneur. It's not talked about enough. I think it's a it's a really isolating profession whether you are someone that's running a big company or someone that's just starting off. There's a lot of loneliness and isolation and I don't think it's talked about enough in the tech industry the rates of depression and anxiety that go on in and something that carly and I talk about a lot. We've both struggle with anxiety. I think that I've also found a way to make it a positive and I feel like that is something that not enough people talked about. How have you and it seems like you have taken your addiction struggles and turn it into something that I think one has helped other people but also seems to be a part of you that you view as a positive because you get to share it. Yeah I do. I don't view it as a positive just because I get to share it to help other people like that's one of the reasons but I actually view as a real positive in my life and I think it's because you know what I've learned through my recovery is that I've always been the same person since I was born right. I've always been a person with deep deep sensitivity and you know what I would call deep sensitivity sometimes leads to self-medication. My problem was not that I drink too much. My problem was that I was anxious and depressed and I was using the alcohol to fix that and it was less helpful than one might hope. But here's what I've learned looking back at myself so when I was around ten years old. It's actually when we start to internalize social programming right. That's when we get tamed. When we have our wild self and then the outside world starts telling us who we should be and when we can't match that shame starts in the split starts so what I was heard from culture and from family and from everywhere was that it was too much and so I started numbing myself with food and booze. I don't anymore I was ever too much right. I think that I was a deeply sensitive. Human being and the really cool thing now is to look back at myself. Nco The sensitivity. That led me to numbing and lead to addiction is the exact same sensitivity that I- channel now that makes me really really freaking good writer and the fire I call it my fire my therapists call it anxiety so whatever but the fire inside me the anxiety that led me to end leads me to be kind of a fearful person sometimes is the exact same fire that I- channel to be a really effective activist. So I've never changed. The only time I changed really was when I tried to snuff myself out with all of the food and the booze. There was never anything wrong with me. I was born with the exact constitution. The exact gifts the exact challenges that I needed to get the exact done. The exact work done on this earth. We are traveling all the time for work. One thing that we are really obsessed with is thinking through what we put on our skin when we are flying when we are travelling when we are on the road in so many places. It's really important that we keep ourselves healthy and we've started to think about. What does that actually mean regarding the products that we use on a daily basis as also because skin just looks really bad when we travel so he loves products. That ARE CLEAN. Because we like to know. Now what's in them and we don't want to actually have to sacrifice the quality which I think is a big misnomer. Yeah I think about clean beauty. And that's something that we've really started to investigate in so lucky for all of us. This march for is raising the expectation. On what clean can be yes. They have some amazing brands that are clean. Thoughtfully made and some of our favorites are bite. Ilia Kaas our Ms Beauty Tower Twenty eight and artsy so the products are packed. With good for you ingredients. They look good and they make you look good good. It's great that one of our favorite store or Sephora is focused on clean beauty. We really appreciate that. I think that we are part of a generation. That's really thinking about what's going into the things we use every single day and it's great that we can get all the products that we really love without the ingredients that no one needs exactly so time for you to get the best in clean makeup at Sephora online and store right now look for the green seal to know which products are clean at Sephora certified. I want to talk about this idea of living an untamed life. You've talked so much about in the recovery circles and even in the mental institution. How refreshing it is when you hear people speak from an honest place and I think today especially in this age of social media. That's really tough. What do you think happens? When people start leading with their honest selves and also. How do you give people advice to do that? When they are working in more of a corporate environment where they're showing up in places every day where that is not like. I love hearing you speak. I also think about my friends that are working in law firms if they showed up being like. I'm going to live my untamed life. I can picture the arrows and I think we all struggle with how to exist within a society that has these expectations and also want to live in a freer way. It's big question. Is You know maybe in a corporate setting you wouldn't stand up and say I'm GonNa live my untamed life. Like maybe but what? What being untamed is is simply. It's every time there's a moment of conflict right so say you're sitting around a table in a corporate setting and someone says something that You know has like a hint of a whiff of racism and misogyny or homophobia in it right. We all know that we all know that when that happens and you know the split comes when your team self on the outside is like don't say anything. Don't say anything this will pass this will pass and your untamed self on the inside is like a new to say something. I need to say something now. What I know about corporations as the corporations are just groups of people right so the most important thing about a corporation is that it's twofold one is how we work together and to how we make space for every single individual to bring her full self so actually corporations are creating culture. There's no more important place for people to start bringing their entire individual self to the table and actually have space and have the safety and have the freedom to use their untamed voice tables because that is how culture changes status quo always stays the same if everyone at the table especially the marginalized groups continues to keep their untamed voice. Quiet I think one of the major problems in our culture corporations world is this idea of tribalism which is that we have this one group of people and we all must think the same way and we all must believe the same things and if we step out of line we will be tribal shamed and that. I think are moving away from that kind of group being an acceptable way of creating community. I think what we have to do. Incorporations in churches and institutions in political groups in families in relationships is create room where people who have differing ideas different voices different experiences can bring the full selves to the table and know that they will be both held by the group and free to bring in different self to the table so there is no more important place for people to begin to start using their untamed voices than

Sephora Carly Ms Beauty Tower Writer Ilia Kaas
Glennon Doyle, author: Untame the companies.

Skimm'd from The Couch

06:18 min | 5 months ago

Glennon Doyle, author: Untame the companies.

"I want to go back to the beginning of your story. What prompted you to start writing. My family communicates through writing so my dad writes me letters for Christmas for big events. And it's funny because my dad and I have a hard time communicating deeply in person. We don't really do it but we can write things to each other that we could never say to each other's face so I learned early on that you can say things in writing. The can't sometimes they in person but when I started writing publicly was after I had been sober for a few years and I was home with three children. I was just like dripping with children and because of that I was finding it harder and harder to get to my recovery meetings and recovery meetings. Where the place that I felt. Safest in bravest in the world because in those circles it felt like the only time that I actually heard anyone told the truth about life. Like it's like we all have these two selves in these two voices and now I would call them or tamed selves at our untamed selves at our untamed selves. Are the voice inside that when someone says how are you doing is like oh not so good. I my life is really hard at my marriage is falling apart and and then the team self says frame. Thanks how're you right? So recovery circles are the places that I discovered people who were using their untamed voices and that was such a relief to me and to not be able to get to. Those meetings was devastating because I am a person who desperately needs to hear other people tell the truth in order to save and so one day I was just sitting at my computer and I just started typing using that voice that I use in recovery meetings my honest true untamed voice. And when I saw the words that I had written it felt more to me like I was looking in a mirror then I even feel when I look in the mirror and so that's how I started because my kids. I started writing because my kids wouldn't let me out of the House and I needed to tell the truth somewhere so I started writing all my thoughts my feelings and then I started emailing them to my friends each morning and were they like. Oh this is just Glennon. Yes which would have been fine. Except I didn't have anything else to do. So then when they didn't write me back I would ping them like a couple of hours later so I just was wondering if you had any thoughts about my thoughts but the thing is that they had to work and like have lives and so they couldn't constantly talk to me about my thoughts which is a running problem in my life. And so one of my dear Friends Joanna. One day sent me a link. That was like this is how you start a blog and say this might be a better way to put this out there instead of harassing us. And she said in the email sweetie this is what people do have as many thoughts and ideas you. I got my writing out there because my friends did not want to hear from me anymore like that is how I was that I started the blog and started using that untamed voice and people just I duNNo. It just started to help help free people. What do you think about it really resonated? God I mean one of the themes of the book is you know we have this self this wild self that were born with were all born wild and then most of us have a few good years of freedom as children and then eventually we just start surrendering to the taming of the zoos. Were born into families and nations and economies and cultures. And we start acting instead of being right and we split we split into those two selves. The real wild self. We are on the inside and then the lake socially acceptable Tamed Self. That we have to send out into the world and I think that one of the reasons why we feel lonely and afraid sometimes is because we don't enough from the untamed selves of other people. All right I think that's why we are so comforted by art because art comes from the untamed self right. I think that's why we're comforted by our best friends because our best friends are the ones who show us their untamed selves. And so that's why I think it resonated it was just people saying. Oh my God me too. We forget when we look at People's shiny out ourselves that that's not all that's going on. You have been open about struggling with addiction since you were very young and as part of that journey you are admitted to a mental hospital when you were a teenager. Is that where you started to think about? Probably not consciously at the time but this difference between your team self and your team self. Yeah I mean people get so worried about talking about that time in my life like Oh my God. That must've been awful and you know I had a lot of things going for me. My family had I was raised by two teachers. They had enough money to get me into a very lovely facility. That's not always how it is so I was lucky in lots of ways but I loved it which is not I loved it. I felt comfortable asking because you've written about how it it was helpful. And you've said that which is not normally what people expect to hear. I mean entering this place where there were like rules about like you're showing up as your real self. Nobody in the mental hospital is pretending that they're nailing life okay. It's like the JIG is up. Okay like you can just stop with that right so everybody is just showing up with their vulnerable true raw untamed self and it is it was so freaking comforting to me to me. The Mental Hospital was so much less scary than high school right. It just seemed so much less crazy than high school. I feel like a lot of people listening that that is going to click. You is is insane like only middle school high school all of this the fact that we have to walk around and pretend all the time not say the thing we mean. And try to simulate ourselves into this crazy world is just. I think that the mental hospital was the first place where I thought. Oh there are like these little pockets of the world where you can just be totally free with your messed up self and also. I love people who struggle with mental illness.

Mental Hospital Middle School High School Glennon