Aired 3 months ago 6:08
A visit to Australia House in London
From the news
Aired Last month 21:04
#131 Pete A Turner
Yeah. Lace? Welcome to first-class fatherhood. Welcome everybody sold. One thirty one of the podcast. I am happy as always that be here with you. Thank you for stopping by. This is your first time listening to podcast, please get over there and bang. Nassib scribe button. You do not want to miss all the action that is coming your way right here on first glance fatherhood. All right dads. I am back from my trip to Atlanta. I had a wonderful experience bringing first-class fatherhood on the road. I stood right alongside all the big news outlets sportscasters, and I fired away questions about fatherhood and family life to all the elite players at the NFL who are fathers that will be playing in the Super Bowl this weekend. So lock it. The first glance fatherhood for Super Bowl Sunday. I'll be publishing a special episode telling you all about my experience and playing all the sound bites from media day, if you're following me on social media, I posted up there. Some of my conversation that I had with Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. I mean. So let's go that's here and the celebration of fatherhood family values is on fire. I am so blessed to have you guys supporting me here. I started this podcast. Ten months ago with just really just some immagination faith and from the little acorn brew the mighty. Okay. All right. So lacking into first-class fatherhood. We are rolling right along here. And if you have an opportunity, please get over to I tunes and hit me with a rating or review, it really all goes a long way to help me bring you the best podcast possible right today. I haven't awesome father joining me for a warrior Wednesday veteran Pete a Turner will be here in just a minute. So please stick around interview and one man who is dedicated to helping our warriors is George FOX the owner of NF w watch company. You've gotta go check out. His selection of time pieces over at NF w online dot com. Find out why navy seals rate cave and Craig shorter only wear and if w watches you can use my promo code father, and you can save fifty percent off you'll get free domestic shipping and fifty dollars of your purchase will go towards honor flight, which is helping our World War Two veterans. So get over the NF w online dot com and use my promo code father. Alright tomorrow on first-class fatherhood. Actor Brady Smith will be here. He is married to and has children with Tiffany from saved by the bell and nine to win. Oh, they have a new children's book coming out. So it's gonna be a lot of fun tomorrow. Lock it in fatherhood rocks. Family values rule and every day is Father's Day right here with me, and I will be right back on the other side of this little spot with P A Turner out of lace. And you're listening to I last fatherhood. Brandis when it comes to using a product that's better than the rest. Just one label matters, and it's brand Louis. Brandis cuts out the middleman to deliver. Just what matters high quality products at simple fair. Prices brainless offers better options for things you care about. Besides prices, nontoxic household supplies, premium diapers, organic baby foods and protein. I pet treats brand Liz offers better for you items at a better price shipped directly to you brand lives gives back and gives you a better way to join them. Every time you check out at brand list. They donate a meal to someone facing hunger through their partnership with Feeding America right now. Berkley father who listeners can receive ten dollars off their first order of fifty dollars or more at Brandis Goto Brandis dot com and use the promo code listen to start saving on high quality products. Don't wait a second longer. Go to brand list dot com and enter listen to get ten dollars off your first order of fifty. Dollars or more and start enjoying high quality products that you deserve today. Welcome back the first-class fatherhood. Today's interview is being brought to you by an F W watches. Please go over to NFL you online dot com and use my promo code father at the checkout. You're gonna save fifteen percent off your entire order. You're gonna get free shipping inside the United States and fifty dollars of every order is going to go directly towards honor flight, which is helping our World War Two veterans. Get over to NF w online dot com. Use the promo code father of right? And joining me now is a first-class father. He is a combat veteran and host of a podcast called the break. It down show of which I had the pleasure of being on myself. So you got to check it out. It is an honor for me to say Pete Turner. Welcome to first-class fatherhood. Thanks to be here for she it. All right here, we go. How many kids do you have? And how old are they? Yeah. I have one daughter, and she's twenty one years old awesome. What type of sports activities machine she into grownup? She did a lot. Of different things a little bit of acid ball little bit running. She just kinda just like to try everything. But I would say cross country was probably her main thing. Very cool. All right. Please hit my listeners a little bit about your background. And what you do. Yeah. Sure. So multi tour combat veteran been over a thousand combat patrols, I'm kind of guy that goes outside of the wire, I'm spy, so my job is to go out and make the enemy trust me and have them become my friends so each and every day I'd get up and go out sometimes multiple times. And you just try to see what you can find out in my world. Now, though, I'm a podcast or like you. And I've got a couple of different shows once called breaks down and the other one is called popping the bubble. And I also produced podcast where the people so you've probably seen my workout there. There's not realized it because I you know, it's about about me about the person who show it is. And I do what I can't make sure they shine and go from there. Nice. When did fatherhood came into the picture for you Pete. And had it becoming a dad change your perspective on life. Yeah. Total surprise for me. You know, I didn't think I was going down that path and at twenty seven I met a girl before above your both in the army, and we decided to get married and have a kid, and you know, how it changed everything for me. But I have something creature. You know, it was a responsible I had this responsibility for her wellbeing and sacrifices were instantly created, and you don't realize that you know, when you are about to have a kid once you have that kid, and you see how helpless and tender and and how much you rubbish. You just you start giving everything we sell to to make your life about something more awesome. I'll tell you one of the most emotional videos that I ever see online when there's a soldier or sailor returning home unannounced surprise their kids by showing up. I love those videos, and it, and it really makes me respect an honour men and women of our military like yourself as a civilian. I hate being away from my kids overnight. I can't. Imagine doing it overseas. What my life on the line? So what was that experience like for you Pete had it being away? From your daughter affect your services a soldier being dad and being away. Yeah. Trust because I remote spot or going out in real combat zone every day. So I really can't share my day to day life with my daughter. And and when we would talk on the phone, it'd be more about what she was doing. And she just wasn't much of a phone trucker in general most of our time that was specials really spent together, you know, and I had the luxury of mixed pretty decent money when I was deployed. So we could go on and pretty grand adventure. But style vacation. So it'd be it'd be those times where we would just get into whatever we whatever moment experience we wanted to share their life. You came more about experiences and share times and things or objects or whatever it was like, how do we how do we fly to a place? What's the next place? She really got a chance to explore that with me and saying, hey, how about we go here. Even as a young girl, you know, five or six years old. She can never get away through an airport. And then she would, you know, put her her mind on where we might go for the next adventure. So we've always got like this adventure Wunderlist kinda streak in in in our father daughter relationship. Wow. That's also. And I know that you're well traveled. You've been to some pretty dark places on the planet. What have you seen or where is the worst condition for children? And what is the big difference that you've noticed about kids overseas as opposed to kids here in America? Yeah. That's a great question. You know, I get a chance to see inside the houses a lot of times the way from the army because my, you know, it's easier to do my job that way, you really get to see how the parents are with the kids, including the moms, which is pretty rare for a male servicemember to get a chance to see moms interesting with at all. But as fortunate to be in those kind of situations, and what you realize a lot more things that are common than untie. I mean, do the kids have constant mentoring and coaching and and parental presence. No, they're they're left to their own devices a lot more because of the nature of where they live. But that doesn't mean that the dad when they sit down doesn't. Jovan gently move some hair off his daughter's ear or something like that. And you see those tender moments that translate nationality. They they go past religion and all those things, and that's that's where I come to realize about culture is that look with the ways that we're more alike than this alike. And then also you allude to, but let me just say like when you get out of the US, and you look around and realize just have really do have it. It changes my perspective on how I look at. What crew problems are, and and you know, my job as bad as as a warrior is is to get us a focus on the areas where the work is. And I'm telling you right now, the work is in spending time looking for joy and finding ways to give your daughter my case or sun or kids, you know, opportunities to have joyful experiences of Ayler into taste joy a lot more. Everybody knows when something bad or hate half. Happens, but we should be collecting a lot more joy. My my perspective. Yes, I agree. And I think that's really why we need to put an emphasis on the importance of family life. And our pop culture does a terrible job in this. The way dads are portrayed in the movies. And on TV is terrible. And this younger generation of men is getting the wrong idea about fatherhood about family life. They see it as a burden not as a blessing and feel that if we could just kinda turn that narrative around and the overwhelming message from pop culture was about celebrating fatherhood about how awesome it is the raise a family. I think that if we would just strengthen our family units. Most of the problems that we have in this country would just fade away. Yeah. I don't know that you're incorrect. I think that you're definitely on to something there and how we train people easy everybody. Everybody's big everybody unfairly judges people. And and does things that around for the evolved person knows that their first response life flung, and they moved to. Slowdown. Consider what what's the bigger picture here? What what's the actual truth? And so the to put them father is just nonsensical. You know to say that men or women are better than one or the other look where humans and the more we focus on just where the work is not not where we want some something to be. But where's the work at where do we make a difference? How do I help someone in their life for focus there? I find that. You are you are a lot more granular, but you're also dealing with actual things. You can make a difference with and collects people to go in that direction. Yeah. I'll tell you my favorite quote from any president is from John Kennedy. When he says asking what your country can do for you. But what you can do for your country. And I think we can apply that the wreck to family life. If we say, you know, we asked not what our family can do for me. But what I can do for my family. I think if that mentality takes over we would see big changes in our culture, and in our society. Yeah. Without a doubt without a doubt. How can I help should be? You know, your mantra. How can I help you? How can I help? What let's do it. Let's go. You know, what are we going to do do? I'm a big believer. Do do something. Even if it's being the wrong thing you've been working on getting better. And now you corrected towards what you need to do to accomplish the day to day things that have to happen. Everything starts day today the ground truth, and you can say the kid to graduate from Harvard and play baseball. Okay. Well, they day. What do you have to do that? There are tests that you have to master and certain habits, you have to build to to do whatever part of parenting or life that you want to do, and they have if they don't have roots in the ground truth. Then then you've got to readjust what you do my daughter. And I have a, you know, she's an adult, and I can only do so much really not really any parenting. Really? I'm more of a guide at this point. So what do I do on a day-to-day basis? A lot of the. Times. I heard learn a lot of things and and just layer just little nudges of advice and counsel. And just like, this is a resource if you need it, you know. And that's you know, that's what I do in day-to-day basis is just but for those things that are small, but you can stack those winds and they're just the tiny things, but they make a big difference over time. Yeah. And I think something about resources is the internet the smartphone. And just everything we have access to now it can really be a goal line or it can destroy your life, depending on how you use it. You could find some great content. That's all free on social media that can really change your life and make a big impact. But you can also find content that can really destroy a young mindset. Yeah. You can't focus on. Hey again. Like, how do you folks some joy, how do you focus on service and every young person should find and have some kind of a mentor, and it doesn't mean that personal be your mentor for a long time. And maybe maybe the quest is finding a mentor and along that path you. Get better. But every every young person needs to have someone who can say who's not a parent, you know, who can be candid different way and kind of guide their actions and say a little less this little more that let me know what you find out when you work on this for a while check back in. I think that's a powerful thing that really anybody. But like, you're right. These social media's trapped up in and sings and perceptions when reality that people that are going to win one of the most wealthy guys. I know you never know it he he worked in the industry for just he slowly built up about like you're talking about. He was in vending machines and things like that. And over time he bought property and storage facilities. And you know, nothing about what he does romantic or sexy. But he is independently wealthy. He can make the decisions he wants to make any did by everyday going out. And adding Brits of the wall. Yeah. All right. Let me bring this back over here to you. I know as a. Veteran you are a very disciplined person. But how are you as a disciplinarian as a father? It's pretty funny. I would tell my daughter I'm gonna have to yell at you now, and then I talked to her in the same convoys. But he mind I've got to be careful because if I lose my temper at all if I lose some troll of what I'm doing. I've gotta be very measured because of my skill set, and I can undermine mentally my daughter's wellbeing by trying to be too manipulative. And it's easy. It's a hammer. I can hammer the crap out problem. But that doesn't mean every problem to hammer. So I always find that. I have to slow down make sure I'm calm, and then engage her and just, you know, figure out where she's at so I can help her where she's at instead of just saying go do this. It just not my style of parenting. So I'm very much a collaborative patience and try to be listening. Parents who I wanna understand her voles and how she makes decisions then I want her to understand those things about me. So that we know that. Kind of going in a common direction. It's not easy to do. But that's how I approach it. Very cool. All right. What can you tell my listeners about the break down show and where they can find it? Rick it down show dot com. The Genesis of it was I came back math ghanistan. I wanted to do something different. My friend had a radio show. And I said you should have me on the guest. And and he did and I never left and John have created over four hundred different podcast episodes. So there's hundreds of hours of content out there, and we've had ruled famous people on and we've had people that you would never ever know. And actually, there's this guy named Alex. That's going to be honest Friday, you might know, and 'cause we're just elected illustrate life. That's what we do on the breakdown show. So the the show from last Friday's it's incredible guys rapper knit X rated who went to prison for murder, and it took him about twenty four years to get a figure it out. You got out at twenty six years. But if you hear his story, and you're not moved by the ever Lucien at this. This man. It went through from being a hardened. You know, no regard for anybody safety, including his own gang member to this guy that inciteful and wise and just employees different place. Those are the kind of stories retail. Maybe we have us issues on they have actors. Maybe it's combat worse like myself. But that's doing the breakdown show. It's awesome. I definitely recommend. You can find it a breakdown show dot com. I tunes anywhere where you find a podcast. It'll be they're also my will include the link to the break it down show into description of this podcast episode. What type of goals do you have for this year and beyond? What are you working on? Well, I'm working on a project that hopefully, we'll turn turn out to be a movie on the end of. So that will hopefully happen here in the first half of the year. But these things are big. But that that's where I'm gonna put a lot of effort in. And I'm also working on of course, podcast, you know, putting out content every week and expanding that brand. But it's a lot of work on just more familiarity, right like everybody. Everybody's out there trying to talk about what they do. And so there's a lot of noise. So I wanna find ways to continue to improve the quality and improve the reach of my show, and and the services that I provided the process producer good stuff. All right, Pete. Last thing I'm gonna hit you with here. I love to ask all the data that I get on the podcast, what type of advice? Do you have that new dad or for that about to be father who's out? There listening kids balance advice I ever got kids bounce. So let let them get up. Let him fall down a little bit. I'm not saying let him hit by frame. I'm saying about a little. Bit. Give them a chance to to build some resilience. That's it right there. Just you know, we don't see our kids as being as capable as they are as parents, we want to protect them do for them a little less than that. Awesome. I love the message. I love the advice. It's been an honor to speak with you today. Pete turner. Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your time on first-class, followed. Thanks, man. My pleasure. Really glad to come on anytime. All right. I'll be right back after a quick spot. Seeks taking your kids to the ballgame is one of the greatest experiences in all of fatherhood. And now I class fatherhood has partnered with seatgeek, and you could save twenty dollars off your next ticket purchased by using the promo code first class. That's one word first class. Maybe you wanna go to a Broadway show a concert. Seek has the best prices for a wide variety of events. It's a slam dunk deal dads get over to WWW dot seatgeek dot com and use the promo code I plans to get twenty dollars off your next ticket purchase seat dot com. Back to wrap things up here on I place. Fatherhood. I gotta give special. Thank you. Once again to Pete a turn. If you give me a few minutes of his time. Here was so cool. Please be up on Twitter. Guys, dropped me a DM on Instagram Facebook. Let me know what you thought about today's episode. I always love to hear your feedback. Join me here tomorrow, I'm going to have first class father and actor Brady Smith and then Friday for a nice frogman Friday episode. We're going to have former navy seal commander, Mark Devine. And don't forget coming on Super Bowl Sunday. I got a special edition coming. That's gonna detail. My whole experience that I had at media day down in Atlanta, right interview, guys like Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and all the rest, so lock. It is gonna be a lot of fun. That's all I got you guys today. I'm Alec lace. You've been listening to I last fatherhood. And please remember guys, we are not babysitters, we have fathers, and we're not just fathers. We are first bothers. So. Joke. Sometimes I open. Oh, no. Town.
First Class Fatherhood
Aired 1 year ago 93:49
#232 David Fantle and Tom Johnson
Hi, I'm Alan older. And I'm a guest on Gilbert. Godfrey amazing colossal podcast. You gotta listen to this. They made me live left like this. Hi, this is Gilbert Gottfried, niches Gilbert Godfrey, Jim as in colossal podcast with my co host Frank Santo Padraig where one again were courting ear wold with our engineer Frankford arrose up and Franken oil police wealth do Gish the podcast this week. David Fanta is an auto public speaker lecturer professor of film and pop culture at Marquette university. Tom Johnson is also author as well as how former editor net flicks. And Fillmore viewer who has written for movie tone movie phone? I already fucked up. Magazine and EON line forty years ago still in their teens and inspired by their love of glycemic Hollywood. They sat down and wrote letters to both Brandis stare and Gene Kelly requesting interviews and today are shock and surprise they accept it. So they scrape together some money from their summer jobs and flew from their homes in Minnesota to Los Angeles to meet that to legends that opened the door to one on one meetings and interviews with more than two hundred and fifty stars. And I caught including Bob Hope George Burns, Milton. Berle rod Steiger Tony Curtis. Debbie reynolds. Reynolds, Mickey Rooney, Gregory, pay earn you rejoin you yet. We're on right? I'm trying law. Wrong, Ramla, I wound and my wrong. All love. Hey, they wrote in James Cagney s- Bentley traded war stories with on faster kidnapped Frank Capra and somehow managed to offend Lucille ball. All these all of these adventures are chronicled in Nara -sential new book Hollywood heyday candid interviews with golden age agents. Please welcome to this show. Two guys with a lot of fucking hood spot. David fan and Tom Johnson. Will thanks Gilbert. Thanks, frank. This is Dave. And you're right, Robert Wagner. I think in his intro. His said something that we had a lot of fucking chutzpah. I don't know if you use that. I think he said, you know, they we had a lot of audacity. But that's. Oh, yeah. I think a direct, quote, I I can't see him using Jupiter. Pretty waspy. Welcome gents. Thanks for having us here. Okay. We don't understand that two guys obsessed with hold Hollywood's. Yeah. Geeks total definitely a niche, right? Yeah. But we're all elite it's an elite niche, so yeah. So you remember that film? That's entertainment calendar. Yes. So our parents we were fifteen years old back in nineteen seventy four and our parents took us both independently to see that film, that's entertainment and Tom Knight. From that moment on fell in love with these golden age stars in these golden age films. So we were fifteen years old at the time when we turned sixty we had this sixteen sixteen we have this great is I'm almost sixty great idea. The only way to see those films in their entirety back, then was to rent, the sixteen millimeter prints. So we borrowed the bell. How projector from the Saint Paul JC started schlepping these films to Minneapolis Saint Paul nursing homes. Why nursing homes because we they we cut the cost. We we had to go to nursing homes and charge them twenty dollars a piece about five or six cover the cost of the rental of these fill while which were. For about two hundred bucks a piece, which we did not have at that point. We dubbed this philanthropic endeavor films on wheels. And part of the reason why half of our audience was on wheels. So what happened was again talk about chutzpah? We had a few clips written in the local twin cities newspapers about this films on wheels. Venture. And what was the next logical step when we turned eighteen let's start writing letters to Fred Astaire, Gene, Kelly. So we started using snail mail and started writing no Email back then. There's no internet not Turner classic movies and even the addresses. Well, you know, they're stars homes maps and things like that all of those accurate. They were very accurate. We which is scary very scary. But we got the Kelly and a stair we through those maps, and that's set us off, and we send snail mail letters to their secretaries two years before we were able to arrange the in-person interviews when we were eighteen or senior high school when we flew out from LA, and we weren't legal a drive we had a walk to these crazy. This is literally forty years ago this year the summer we were stopped in Beverly Hills on our way to gene Kelly's house because addressing suits. They thought we were Mormons trying to convert people. They said no one no one walks in Beverly Hills. What the hell are you guys doing? And you're eighteen you couldn't rent a car car twenty one back. Then we stated a place that still there at Doha knee, and Santa Monica was twenty seven dollars a night. And now it's about two hundred seventy dollars. That's what we stayed incredible L. Go ahead. Frank. Got our guest the though lucky one that you got that open doors was for the stare, right? I mean, we we like to say having that snapshot with Fred Astaire was like the willy Wonka golden ticket those two particular stare to then and today were so universally revered that it opened up the floodgates for C, you know, the stars sort of took pity on us and probably figured, hey, a Fred would see we will in fact that was a direct quote from James Cagney. He said, you know, basically, he wrote us if Freddie will see I'll see you based on this. Snapshot had sent that happens to us booking this show. People wanna do the show when friends and other people have already done the show see their work with the becomes a safe space. We'd recommend you to these people. But they're mostly dead. You got a couple of people in there. We still want me to mention as always. Yes, Fred Astaire. What should you? Frederick australia's. Yes. You found out. He was ju- well by lineage. Yes. It was great. His dad was an Austrian brewer. And we were talking about it today cabinet was like all on that. We were at a thing with pecan say we did we love we adore. No. He's great. And you know, the thing about a stair was at his grandparents were Jewish, but converted and then to Roman Catholicism, and then he became an Episcopalian. So I don't I don't know where he ends up in the firmament of that whole religiosity south. Ju gill. No, no, visit dancers, not Jewish. Harry grant, I heard was you know, a few things about Kerry. You know? What's funny? It's like we had on Robert Osborne. Robert Osborne talked about you know, like how where the we all knew like movies used to show on TV twenty four hours a day. And he said, there was one movie in particular. He saw like twenty times before finding out. It was a musical. 'cause they cut out all the music TV, real Kush. They wanted to fit in with the time when we interviewed Bob Hope the second time he said that he and Dolores were in Cleveland or some city. They were watching one of the Ghostbusters was it was the was the one with Paul at Goddard. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And he said that the the cut out a whole reel of the film, and he was trying to AM to call the station to get it rectified. Of course. There was no one there already program. But yeah, you when we here's the thing when we would show these musicals and two six seven eight nursing homes, the real. L E is a lot of these films sucked. Yeah. So trick, you know, how they came in three or four reels of cans, so we would cut out a real or two and these residents didn't even know. A real. It was fantastic. We're totally you know, out of it. So we could get away with. Get home to dinner, I made it was great without a second act. And of course, PC to be you know, we're going to hopefully, be old one day. But you know, we had nicknames for people these nursing. Remember there was that guy. Look like how Harpool would looked at the ninety five. Stood the curly white hair. And then there was a Gusset guy Tagliani this woman that like we do Chico Marx lines to her. And she just she she sort of in some weird recess of remind would get it, and she'd be she would like laugh at these chicken marks lanes from like the March for laughing at this is we're all headed. Reservation. Lightning bolt is going to strike this lead into you met zippo. Well, it was a phone conversation with Thomas amongst all the stuff had a great fascination with that orpheum vaudeville sur, sure. So part of the names that we were seeing were to try to get stories from people who played the orpheum circuit. And by the time. We started doing this. The only one that was alive was Zep. Oh, and we were going out to poem springs to interview William demerist, a wonderful. And I don't know how we Prato got Zepos flat out. No. But disaster we got him on the phone. He's totally disinterested. Give Franken flying you-know-what talking about the March brothers. But then we said, well, what did you do in Saint Paul? We're trying to he's trying to we're trying to conjure up memories of ninety years ago, and he had no interest. And then we said, well, what did you do between shows, and he said we'd three sheet we'd stand by three sheet poster and try and get girls to like notice us from our picture on the poster and then trained date them. And then we said well did that ever work. Well, not too much. And then, you know, did you gamble between shows where where do we gamble? What? What clubs like totally totally interested in any kind of gambling story from the twin cities. We said this is a question. We don't know where you gamble. All this would have been moten nineteen seventy nine. Okay. Yeah. He was born about nineteen seventies. Like when Steve stole year met tipple at some event. He said, oh zip on a big fan of yours. Zippo said, no, you're not you're fan of Groucho chick. Yeah. Kinda hit on a girl that Steve was interested in. On the story Zepos life with Barbara Markson. Have you is it any surprise that? He only perked up when it came to screwing and gambling. Jytte right, right. That was their other pests. Yeah. This was one of the mocks. It's like, which one will you? Yeah. We'll before we move forward with all of these wonderful people that guy's got to meet at least give us a little bit of what happened on the first stop with a stair did a little improv for a little. He he was seated and chair. He's the greatest guy we came in behind him. He was in accountant's office on Brighton way in Beverly Hills ninety four zero five if any like weird people wanna start a he's dead now, but they can see where he was, you know, did his taxes accountant exactly and we walked in. And he was doing he was balancing his checkbook always always zero like insane. You know? And then yeah, we talked about we talked about Saturday Night Fever. He voted for John Travolta best actor that year. My thought he was fantastic. And then you did the dance this chair. Yeah. A little bit cool thing about stare is. He had no awareness of his genius while I mean, totally that over the humble Hollywood God, we had mentioned that when we were at films on wheels that we had shown Easter parade one of his films, Judy Garland, and one of the residents thought it was one of our home movies. Of course, never analyze films. He was incapable, but but but he's sort of stuttered a little bit. She actually thought it was a home movie. So he got a sort of a kick. He actually broke up. And then we told them that like in another real of Easter parade. One of these residents came up and tried to pull the screen down because they were sick of it or what? That he said, well, I think there were some of my movies that like the screen should have been ripped. Maybe that one. Now, didn't did you ever hear anything of what John Travolta thought that furnish never back from John Travolta? But I know the Travolta and Michael Jackson and those contests restores yet. They ate allies to stare, and so there was some kind of relationship that had, but a stair was extremely contemporary in steer had a very limited education. He started in vaudeville with a sister. And so you know, he liked the horse races. He wasn't one of those guys that was going to go out and see opera and ballet Kelly was different. You know, Kelly wanted to mentor, ballet dancers and artists and go to the ballet and go to the theatre Astaire had no interest in that. And also, a stair told us a great story. He said there's this young kid. This is back in seventy eight. When we interviewed him. He said this young kid that likes to come up and like in rollerblade take a skateboard dome. My long driveway his name Jackson. Oh my God. And so Michael Jackson came to his house and practice on his driveway and Astaire later on tried to do it. I think Michael Jackson sort of taught him how to skateboard any broke his ankle. Fred broke his for new. His wit on. I better be careful. What I say, rob and stair is still living in the home on San Ysidro drive. You remember she was the jockey. I was just gonna say she was Jackie, and I grew up in the twin cities used to Shasta cola commercials. And I don't remember for you guys. May remember when they did the Kennedy Center honor to Ginger Rogers, and Robin Astaire would not let CBS us any clips of her with Fred it was still while owing in his home, and she's not doing anything to perpetuate his legs. What she would do what she did. Allow was the Fred Astaire famous coat Rak dance from. The wedding. She allowed the dirt devil people to do the dirt devil. Substitute substituted for the coat rat. That said these people pass away, and they have no. Communism money. Okay. Franken I were talking about this yesterday. And this is all I wanna talk to you when you were at Stanley. Though lists. No, of course, all your listeners know Stanley down, and he is. They should he's one of the last survivors of the golden age was record of singing in the rain and seven brides for seven. Wade Liebau twenty blocks from here. So at the time and Tom can take it over the story. But at the time we were interviewed him he was on stone canyon road, and he was married to a vet menu. Who is probably best remembered for the time machine member. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very true. Green Gillislee beauty. Yeah. Exactly sex kitten. So. Yes. Guess you could say that. So go ahead with the hosts know, it was nine AM, which is very early for Beverly Hills, Brentwood and Bel Air. We prologue up. We are in our suits. We came up to gated community. We the gate opened we were allowed in. We kinda drove up your shown to the study of Stanley Donen study, which was great. We sat down his dogs. Immediately attacked us and started to shed on us. So we were like yetis at the end of this interview. It was sick. We were just filled with horsehair, or, you know, dog hair and then out of nowhere event blows through these French doors, and she's completely nude. I mean, she came from the or I guess like Staley and tipped her off that were there for an interview she screamed, bloody murder ran out. And then we hear we're sitting there. We'll like ten shades seventeen at this point eighteen nineteen his so at your ages back then a hideous. Slee ugly woman naked would have made you again. Yes. Here's heartstoppingly sexy woman northern Hamilton burst through the. Guys. I gotta say the dogs at started us up. So come on, you know, so she she wails, and she running we hear this heated heated argument between her and Stanley just screaming, and we're like, Dave. And I are looking each other. What f is going to go on here? And then and then Stanley comes in five minutes later, and it's a mono Salambek interviewees like he's so pissed off at us. But we didn't do anything. I mean, all he should have told her. So he took umbrage when we dare question. The film Saturn one you member sure. Douglas, Douglas, and we're sitting there, and it became very tagging stick, and we're saying, yeah, it didn't quite do as well as you probably hoped. He goes, I wouldn't say that. Well, the reviews weren't too good and goes bought reviews site, some for me just made with you got it was on the wrong. But more importantly, what did he may muse body? Oh. Oh, man. Oh my God. And ten. Wait, wait. Let me myself here. Glasses a. Looking up Wegener wanted to know all of those? Szeswith it, and he was eighty six at like, you know, I was in a movie with her. But I never got her. It was like, I'm like, okay. Robert. Well, we have that in common, but it was incredible. Now, she was she was Gore's to walk into the room at nine o'clock in the morning and conduct an interview with two teenagers just ogling his wife his nation wife drought. On the other one, you know growing up at the time we did. And she's in the book that you know, we had the hots for was Jacqueline Bisset abso- deep and all that man if she she was wearing those tight leather hand. And yes, she had a dog that just I don't know what happened but the dog would not leave her alone. Stupid. No to the shot point. She had to put him in another in another room. I mean, she was just like, and then the dog started yowl, and then she had to cut the interview off. We were like, oh my God. You know, we never finished. The interviews the vet because our dog was in that dog said I don't care from the species. That's why the chapter of Bissett is titled dog day afternoon. C N show. Jay was Jackie looking good. God. This is all over cares about. Kelly most women most women were smart enough and didn't consent to interviews. Yeah. They were sort of when you were kids though. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, Lucius I mean in most of the women did not consent to photographs guys for the care because they were used to make up in hair and everything else. We'll get to Lucy in a second because that's that's pretty rich. But, but at least talk about Gene Kelly you guys walked over to talk about naked. It's going to run thin with Jacqueline Bisset vet MU. I don't fuck. Sixteen. Some actresses Tate. Well, okay. Let's Gilbert excited. We can tell him about the last interview that we ever did with the net. Feb ray. I don't think that's going to. That doesn't excite me. Now, we're Regina was ninety two and literally under the sheets, literally. Oh, it was the only interview where she was totally under the sheets in her bed. And we had the the micro cassettes literally and under pillow she was in a prone position. The only part of the sheet wasn't over her head. I mean, it was like which then metal be over last interview. So you walked to jeans house got stopped by a cop. Yeah. Yeah. And what's interesting about the the Kelly interview is that you to interview over time and a lot of that was a lot of it was said when you went back the second time isn't nineteen seventy eight he was sixty six years old. He was still playing tennis. He was Gene Kelly like we know him then in nineteen ninety two he was in his early eighties, and it was Oscar night. And we went back to his home in the stark striking thing is he had to hold onto my arm. Just to stand up. He didn't have his hair piece on which was extremely unusual and his glasses were super thick. I mean, he looked like he was ninety five years old. It was just sich a jarring in of someone that we know from the films and his house had burnt down the end. Incredible. Art yet rules. He had like all this French Russian already had French dancehall posters from the POC. It was incredibly rebuilt the house. Exactly as it was. But then all the art was gone. So when we went in the next the last time, it was just oh my God. It was so sad all of those celebrities from years ago, they all wound up wearing those same glasses soup ethic like to move. Yes korea. Swifty lazar. Mart. It McMahon them. God those scary gas. Let the Kelly situation was his house burned down. It was a Christmas. Tree fire. Yeah. And they found somewhere they found the blueprints, and they recreated the home, and we actually have the Christmas card that he sent because we received Christmas cards the picture was the home and it's back in the home for Christmas. Well, oh, jeez. Well, now, we're we went from the classy hang. We went from the classy of Fred Astaire, Gene, Kelly, let's change direction and talk about uncle Miltie. Say jokes anything, you know, about on Milton. I haven't heard here been legend. We met him at the friars club on Santa Monica boulevard. Gone now gone looks like a parking ramp. I met L incredible. And we met him in the Milton Berle room, the Milton Berle table, the Milton Berle share. It was like this little microcosm of the world where he was any the only comedian we've ever interviewed in our lives that had a gag man with them buddy, Arnold NPR. Yeah. For god. He also had the Milton Berle urinal, but it was like six inches off the ground. We had to boost the friars booth and you would have to go over to the booth and. There and hit a crease in his pants and the photo that like we just don't know what that was like, oh my. To see Kok. None would have shown like totally willing to do anything at him. And I wish to God. Now, I knew that he was so willing to show. Just seems I sit on I don't. Yeah. I don't think we would have had the guy. Oh that you had Gilbert. But I mean, we're fortunate because there are dick jokes in the borough chapter. The badge of Pinas Joe. Which was amazing. We felt honor. Oh, a dick joke was a total. Dick joke from the ease. A penis punchline for twenty years. Thirty years. It was we felt so blessed you once or twice skill. Yeah. A couple of times. He was that he likes you. He seemed to he was one of those people of the old school. I Kenny young men who when you met them. They were on the line was punched line runs was on borough was on Mel Brooks. Was on. Yeah. Where you talk to. Yeah. Well, you talked to VO Jessil not Chessel that scare. That's very very scary that I wanna kill myself where you were talking to George burn. Yeah. Yeah. Every single answer was a punch out and line early. Yeah. And you know, when we got all over the map, but just show. Yeah. We we'll try to bring it around. So did they ever? I mean, do you know the story of why borough started doing the drag stick on the TV show so living at his mother's place at the X Essex house here in New York City. Yeah. And he, you know, had this what he said like terribly attractive girl from Texas that was at the Barbas on the all girls hotel. So he went to the western costume company and got the padding for the bust and the dress and the heels and everything else and the wig in the whig. So he could get back by the front desk clerk at the Barbas on getting the elevator. So he could sleep and make it with this girl, and he talked about then exiting was not at pretty picture because the next morning he was exiting. And he said someone was on the Ed of elevator looking at like him like he was the elephant man because that point, you know, he was all mess, and he said it was so damn painful trying to walk back to that hotel or home and the Essex house after we're in those heels at worries living with his. Mom. Towels didn't Milton Berle also sleep with Amy simple mix of. Oh, really? Yes. Well, I wouldn't doubt it. I mean, look, I'll look what he has an advertisement and from hoarding, it least to our friend drew Friedman. Yeah. Monroe. I say Marilyn my rosy only woman who can honestly say she's a tractor to sense of humor because she slept with according to to yet to Jrue. She slept with Milton Berle, Jerry Lewis, Jack, Benny and Groucho Marx. She obviously like Jewish. Do we have proof of this take up with through? So how does this? How does that? Explain the Kennedy, boys. Slumming? Here's shopping I'll try to gentile. Mentioning our friend, drew another friend is you may not know Drew's younger, brother Kip lives in Milan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So when you're interviewing burns, and he's doing schtick. Yeah. He can't do a straight inter now he's telling you about all the acts. He's telling you about mules. Did he mention Swain's rats and cats? The animal was like a one man fount of vaudeville in for hours. Elephants powers. Cartner mule. No forget in in the movie, the sunshine boys, they in the movie, the sunshine, boys. They basically late George Burns say just whatever memories, you have the names. Absolutely funny thing about burns when we walked in after the Northridge quake that were aftershocks lawns. We walked in after a major aftershock. And we said George so this is when he was ninety five or thereabouts. Did you feel that aftershock the other night? He says I look forward to earthquakes there my form of aerobics. Say that's about sex to George, but did you have to deliver a letter from the director Eddie Basell a crush on Gracie. Yes. Yes. Just one of the stranger things in the book, very where wrap my mind around this. He's giving you a letter right to give to his to give to him to give the ceased wife about a crush. She had on his. Zac, very, yes. But what happened was we hadn't seen burns twenty? There was like a ten or fifteen year span between the first and second intercity Basell directed at the circus. Go west go west. Yeah. What happened was really strong. Great Mark's brother Sipa zealot died in the interim in- interim before we delivered the letter. So it was sort of this weird. Weirder. Still it's like a letter from God or something like we just delivered this letters letter from the grave that says I have a crush on. Yeah. Here George, you know. Free to four years for good behavior. I wanna talk to you about butcher box. I know about them. Well, you should they deliver healthy one hundred percent grass fed beef free range, organic chicken and heritage breed, pork. Heritage breed, pork, I like the sound of that directly to your door the incredible quality ill of butcher box starts with a commitment to raising animals, you mainly and free of antibiotics and hormones the way nature intended each butcher box comes with eight to eleven pounds of meat which enough for twenty four meals. Put your box carefully Corot, the final selection and makes it a breeze to customize your own delivery and set your delivery frequency shoes from five different pox types. Like old beef the mix box or the custom box that lets you choose your own cut. It's great. They're even recipes available on the butcher box website and videos on the butcher bikes YouTube. That's hard to say the butcher box YouTube channel for inspiration. You got a box into the house skill. Yes. And we didn't know it was there. So we were away for the day. And when we opened it up, it's packed with ice. It's packed with dry. So was everything was you know, totally everything was chilled. Yeah. Totally chilled. Lots of selection. Yes. Our old separately rap. And like, I said, it was just you're open the bucks. I thought it would be ruined. I opened the box. Everything was great. It was cold. So it's idiot proof. Yeah. Basically. Yeah. They haven't met me. For twenty dollars off your first box and package of free bacon every box for the rest of your subscription. Go to put your box dot com slash Gilbert. And then you're Gilbert at checkout that put your box dot com slash Gilbert and code Gilbert. Twenty dollars off your first box and package of free bacon and every box. On the next Gilbert ten francs callosum obsessions. What if I said to you Gilbert pictures about hammers? What if I if David Janssen fugitive fame ever played a wearable hose? Jan cheated a little bit because it's a TV movie and it's called moon of the wolf with Bradford Dilmun. Oh that title sounds about a where we'll from the Louisiana by you. And it was directed by Daniel Petrie. Why how about that this one? I'm a little stumped. Made a made for TV movie nineteen seventy-two we'll see what our listeners have on screaming Bill. This one is just to make Paul left. There's put from seventy to call Dr Jekyll and Hombre loco. Gilbert, and Frank's amazing colossal obsessions. Every Thursday only Stitcher premium. You'll remember the good old days when you were always ready to go. If you know what I mean, you may walk not exactly you could increase your performance now and get that extra confidence in bed by going to blue dot com. That's blue shoe tot com. That's blue like the color brings you the first Chewable with the same FDA approved active ingredients as biogra- Cialis. You may have heard of those. So you know, they work. I mean, my my neighbor is heard of them never Jeff. I've met him. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I never had used for sometimes his packages accidentally get the liver to my house really that would alone can take them anytime day or night, even on a full stomach since they're Chewable. They work up to twice as best as Bill. So you can be ready whenever an opportunity rises so to speak blue Jewish cried online and ships straight to your door in St. package. Joe, no. Inserts in doctor's visit no waiting in pharmacy. And no more awkward know what you're talking about. They're made in the USA. And since blue ju- prepares and ships direct. They're cheaper then a pharmacy. I hear this a special deal through. Well, right now, we've got a spatial deal for all. Blue chewed dot com and get your purse ship and free when you are facial promo code Gilbert. Just pay five dollars shipping. I hope Jeff's listening. Yes. Doesn't has calm Johnson. My name is Raymond J Johnson Jinya. Now, you tell me Ray or you can call me j you call me, Johnny or you can call me Sonny or you can call me Junie. Call me Ray, j or you could call me RJ RJ Jay where are you gonna call me? What are you gonna call me on jayjay junior? But it doesn't have to call me Johnson and raising him and you have been listening to Gilbert. Guthrie's amazing wonderful funny has theory co podcasts. Dire. I was reading somewhere that. Amyloid sitka which visiting curly. Joe dorito? And they said curly. Joe dorito agreed with him sit that you'll white was schmuck. You met you. How did you pick gills white of all the people that you guys have a lot of? I don't. Like, oh, probably because you know, Joe Besser was dead. I know. Read it wasn't working. And the weird thing about Jules white is we interviewed him we called him up. And he was like, you know, he didn't wanna do it. He said, I'm going dove hunting up in the Sierra Nevada. I don't want to do this. And we said come on. It'll be a short subject interview shorts and he was like total dead. Silence. I didn't think it was funny. So we eventually consented. But he said I'll be loading my shotgun. During the interview when we do this. So you'd better be quick. And he was indeed he was loading shot interview. It was like the most ten center view this USA comedy her. Yes. Yes. You tried to get him to do the we tried to take photos for those who can send it immediately after. And we said come on. Can you do the I poke and he goes I can't do that. I don't do that. Because I think it sends the wrong message to kids. Five thousand three stooges. Put your head in the press. Okay. With the saw. Flam the blow torch. Okay since Gilbert alluded to it. Let's get Jessil. Let's get. Saw photo. I saw the photo the photo is right there in my mind with bud app. It's photo and the home. It's just all right. Just don't he'll Jessica was living in recedo in a home in the valley in the valley at this point early eighties early eighties. When you got there was a housekeeper of some sorts by the kitchen, but the kitchen was pretty much the counter was full of Swanson TV dinners, and there were like, you know, flies buzzing around they'd like a full trash bag that had not been emptied in probably three weeks. Fill the Swanson, Ed geene at this point. Wearing the Paret a bathrobe, and he's sitting in the shabby lazy boy, but the interesting thing he surrounded by all of this memorabilia, he had a cane that Eisenhower gave him he had the Jean Hersholt award pictures with all of these David Ben Gurion and all these little Roosevelt. He had an autographed photo of exurbia. Holland, the happy Hooker. He did he told us to go look at and read the inscription. The crappy hadn't this house was probably worth billion. And who knows whatever happened to it when he passed. But again, he was so bitter, and he said to us just got off the phone with borough. I mean with burns, and we said how's he doing and he just said making millions in? So he was envious of burns was still work. And we knew little about just going into this thing the only thing and this was late seventies early eighties. I don't even know the context rob Reiner did some late night sketch where he played Jessil doing a telethon to stop death in our lifetime. Did the whole thing. We've stopped death in our lifetime. And that's all we knew. And we also knew all he did was give eulogies to the people that died before him. Yes. That's smashed here. The weirdest thing if the end of the interview we had been pointed to all these different things in the in, you know, and we had been looking at them reading and. Scriptures at his behest. And then we finally got out to the car. And are are, you know, at this time, we were this time. We had a tape recorder, and we had notes and stuff. So we got out the car, and I'm looking at the notes, and he'd written in scripture when we are walking around all over the, you know room reading Harry Truman's love letter to him or whatever. And he said I the inscription said to the greats without a microphone which was very pointed in a way because he was a vaudevillian back in the early nineteen hundreds and they they weren't Mike back then. And so he was sort of living in the past in a weird way. He was like standing up for people that could project without a microphone the old days. And he was the one he came very close to being the star of the absolute, right? They didn't borders off from enough money. Yeah. He turned it down. And then they say that Jolson. I mean, it's sort of a myth because it's probably an exaggeration never saw microphone till he was sixty. That's what they say guessing or he wasn't microphone, right? Right. Was he did he think he would he'd been blackballed from the industry? Yes. Russell for his consistent service. I think he did. And but he was very proud of the work. He did for the status of the state of Israel, Israel, very proud of that. Yeah. The the weird thing was that trip about a week later. We're leaving LA where at LAX and we see him being wheeled down. You know, one of those run will, you know, one of those hallways. He was in his military with his purple heart. Yeah. I mean, we were like, hey. Yeah. Exactly. Hey, great. Again. You know? I mean, it's great that you're what you Major General. I mean it was in. But it was that he would go to these Hollywood openings with tuxedo. The Cape and a beautiful girl on his arms to go back to recede and his swans and TV dinners. So and and. Sure. Turning down the jazz singer haunted him every check. Check. What about hope? Well, Bob, Hope Jews. Didn't. He strikes me. Where do you get this? He couldn't. Well, I had associate what? But I get the impression in being hated. Well, enough stuff on being that. But I always will we try to talk about contemporary stuff in politics. We looked at what happened to Minnesota Senator Al Franken for his USO hijinks l Franken was a boy scout mixed. In the US, but it wasn't. But he wasn't a member of the government. Those stories that Bob Hope on those like Vietnam Toya's. He would have some always some young Honey, though, the car invite Burke, shields, whoever and Jillian. Other two. And according to legend, he would say that him if they didn't fuck them. He was leaving them in Vietnam. We cannot confirm that wait a minute there. That's story was told by guy we interviewed that was your guests. Dave thomas. Oh, yeah. Thomas, Grady, tellies guy who could do hope, but I hope was infamous for not saying anything. I mean, he was a publicity hor- horse to anyone at protected the brand. We actually sort of got him off his guard a little bit when we did a long form interview in Minneapolis what he used to late in life, and he was always with Dolores later in life. Yeah. He would come to a city like Minneapolis. He'd play one show for an hour at a nightclub or what have you? But he would use it as an excuse to Gulf all day. And so we interviewed him late night because comedians are up late because that's their lifetime schedule, and we got into a little bit of politics and him being war hawk in his conservative politics. And the one thing that he took umbrage of what it was right after Reagan got shot, and it's in the book how he talks about. I can't understand. That was interesting. How Reagan is not supporting tougher gun laws. Yes. Yeah. Totally we once he came to homecoming at the university of Minnesota. And we started by saying, you know, what do you make of this term legend? And he said, you know, it really makes me blush because first of all I'm still working I'm still here, and he sort of thought the term legend if you affixed it to anyone should be affixed to someone who is deceased interesting. And I mean, I know I think legend is the most overused. Absolutely. It's there with hero. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So I mean, he was very Deloris in the room with a room and his dog Toby, and Mr. Minnesota who is personal body. And I heard Bob Hope wherever state he was working in. He would claim he was going there because he likes to eat healthy. But they they said he would find that. Where like these ladies, so exhilarating meanings. Ladies Klug, he wouldn't make a claim. Well, the food is much better, man. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he was appalled. Because he went to a movie theater was a north north Dallas. He went to Dallas forty because his good friend Mack. David David, thanks is in the movie and he walked out because he was appalled at the profanity thought he modern movies, recruit endures. Yeah. Exactly fascinating. He didn't make you know. It's funny too. Because he did he tell you guys that that part of the road movies were ad-libbed that twenty percent. Yeah. Do by. I don't I don't either. Here's what I heard about the road movies. You know, they have the legend like all, you know, Bob pope, and being Crosby, toast, the script to the side and they did their own stuff. And and what someone said is yet. They may have toast the script to the side. But that's only because they had their own staff of writers giving them jokes using their Joe. Yeah. We're always be thinking that I'll. Always quick to credit. His right exactly fence wasn't. I don't know if it's Hollywood lore to where he would stand up on the second floor of his home and throw the checks down. Jackie Gleason to I don't know. The reason I mean, Bob Hope head Emets ING timing. He had that great cowardly woman persona. I mean, it's surprised I mean Woody Allen. Just adore. Yeah. Right. And dick cavity even said today to us he corroborated that he said. Woody Allen worships Bob Hill in many many Woody Allen movies. You can see a Bob Hope lined delivery. Bob Hope characterization timing from you do that cowardly Bill Daley is from LA Healy. Just recently came out that he was doing Bob. Yeah. Not a legend now now, Bob Hope. What's so weird to watch? Is you watch the early movies, and he's like a little a feminine rolling his eyes doing the jumping around all over the place and then by his later movies. Hey, Sharon, Yankee that Bob Hope and he's standing there in the scene with the other actor, and he's it looks like looking at the cue card. Yeah. Any standing there? Just like those specials. Yeah. He's by his side. And yeah, delivering a dry Zog land in that. He wrote a book on hope coach. Talk about how it became throwaway. And he was trying to sort of act hip and cool to introduce themselves to newer audiences in the sixties and seventies. It just didn't work, and what was the one he made with even recently in the seventies wasn't I'll take Sweden, and it was one of the. The need a film with her that was one of these sort of think of the name. Think of the name book. She said something that I really don't wanna talk. Did. I get a wrong number. Did she get on number? What what you Stu? I kid. Make me so uncomfortable on these TV specials. They would have like Bob Hope and Lucille ball jurisdiction hippies. Cheerleader. He'd have faked zooms. Pompoms track drac, and it was like. Oh, no idea of this time. Worthy. It is. And you here Frank we did present Gilbert with a couple gifts. God. Yes. One of them was the actual cassette. Recording of hope hopes for the holiday and another way features Jack frost. Goals. And then another one was the Christmas ornament that Dolores gave us that. I don't want anymore that I gave to Gilbert. And like I said to you there. It's one of those gifts that both great and. Very scary. She'll kit you go. Oh my God. They wanna snake. Because when you when you sat down with them and Minnesota's well before Jack frost. He was at death's door. Yeah. Once again, everybody you oh, you're self. Yes. So look pope doing Jack. That YouTube page all the comments they Gilbert and Frank Senate. Yeah. Living nightmare is killing a legacy. Couldn't stop. Yeah. One of those guys just had the key perform at big boy, just like. Just like. Gabby four this driver eating Sunday. I mean, you could go up to him, and Bob, and I think he was non compass men as he didn't hit a publicist ward. Grant who always consented for hope stuff and years after our last interview he was still in the early eighties. I was doing some stuff for a radio station walkie that was sort of the music of your life playing the classics. You could get hope on the line when he was ninety four years old credible, and he would do the call letters. He we started this show too late. He would he would pair it damn near anything. You ask them to do. Now. When when I was looking through your book, all I could think was oh would have been great to interview him. It would have been great. It was killing me both of us a couple of people in there that are hanging on that we'd still like Dickinson. And some of those people, but it doesn't of the seventy five that are still alive. Yeah. Had day with Don Rickles. Oh, yeah. Done was a great guy. And I got to know his road manager. Tony the Tonio Tonio a great storyteller. He is. And you know, I mean you knew Don, right? No. I never met on row. I'm sure you would hit it off. Yeah. I would've loved to met him. I never had chance to well. And I think that's he's indicative of how humor has changed. First of all they say, you can never have done Rickles today. And I think probably there's some truth to that. But the thing about Don Rickles, humor it came from a place of love and affection. Yeah. It didn't come from. I hate. So. So I'm going to rip the shit out of you. Yeah. I think that's how things have changed a little bit over the last thirty years, but it was again, and I know genus an I saw down the last time he came into Milwaukee. He was already ninety talk about a guy who would go performing the grey goose on. Yeah. Ryan was sharp. But first of all there was no there's there was no diversity left in the audience to you know, to do his insult humor. He couldn't walk by this point. So he would sit in a chair with his cane and half the show was watching clips, and the sad part of it is, you know, you look at him watching those monitors, and you could almost tell there was a certain sadness. Everybody was gone. Everybody knew. Yeah. And that's what cabinet said to us today. He said it's hard to watch those shows with all those conic actors because he says to myself, I only wanna live. But the thing about the thing about Rickles, which was great. And it was just wonderful. I was in the audience when he mocked the hell out of me. I was in the second. What an honor? Vino both insulted by. But the great thing about it was is that he said you must be a talion year. Nothing on you matches in. I'm telling his lung. You know, what the whole audience broke up? They loved it. He could do no wrong. And they couldn't see that. I was like as Irish is, you know, whatever gene Kelly's left but cheek when it was in it insane. So I mean, he could do no wrong. He was just an absolute in original with that stuff. Read that Tim Conway when to see Don Rickles, and Don Rickles, Soham, then he said, you know, Carol to retired Tova few. It was sort of like insert the name because you could say that. Yes. He. Yes, they're ever in the history of Don Rickles career, a Chinese guy in the third world. Part is the only time he could instill the black guy was when there was a black guy in the band because later on there was no one in the audience, but he would always give a bottle of champagne to anyone ever insulted. He'd send a bottle of free champagne to the table that he had you know, totally opened up on that was his thing and end of show, even his best friend. Bob Newhart made light of the fact that in his Vegas in his nightclub routine. For some inexplicable reason, Don Rickles did a Jimmy Cagney tribute. Please. The holy BankE Kodaly start as an impressionist. Rick was an insult comic. The impression of George colon. Just didn't work. Tells the story of what was that? He run silent run Dijon heard the story when he and Jack west, and you know, was star Clark Gable? Was this Nash the in the bunk in the submarine like making out, you know, because they knew Gable was going to come in. And Gable came in when they were doing this gabo said something like why don't you to couple of Fags? And they just totally baited Gable. Let's talk about let's see where do I get there? We could go we could go so many places as long as we're on the subject of comics and one Gilbert did meet and get to knows Jerry Lewis, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. He owes us. He says he owes us. Buck. Yeah. He bet you he name to lines. Because I asked the question, and you know, he said, you're a young guy. You don't know crap about movies? You don't know anything about how we would lower going. You're talking about wrong little nerd here. And he said named two lines from gone with the wind, and I'll give you one hundred bucks. I said, I don't know about birth, and no babies, and frankly, my dear don't give a damn. And then I and then he silence. And then I said, so when can I get the money he said come by the stage door after? Well, given if it was one of those embarrassed he came to this Carlton celebrity room in Minneapolis. And we were college students at the newspaper there, and we got the cheap ten dollar balcony seats, a bunch of us always had sort of perverse interest in Jerry Lewis. Yeah. Yes. Of course, he couldn't sell any tickets. So they all moved us all down to the front. And of course, he was doing the the conducting stay tied writer typewriters and the music would would fail and he'd start yelling at the crew. I mean, it was just total, Jerry. And and it was the most unpeeled part of his comedy act. He said, do you know, how the Chinese name, they're, you know, kids, and he threw up the throat some stones, and they hit the, you know, they hit the symbols ping, ping, Chong poem. No. We were shocked. I mean, and but the thing I love is that Jerry Lewis is one of those people I can use the classic line. Will he was always nice to me? Yeah. That bet lawing says so much it's in the book he says, oh, why her that too from Kathleen Freeman? Yeah. Also said well, he he was always nice to me. A lot of work ladies fan among Harry, Warren, the great composer from Hollywood E, D compose, all forty seconds Dubin. He said that he he would turn on the telephone every year. He wrote that some Maury Dean Martin. Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, and he said he'd turn on the telephone every year just to see if Jerry Lewis as big of an address as he remembered back in the fifties. And he was never disappointed. Harry Warren when the musicals were dying down, the only paychecks. He could get was he did cinder fella. Yeah. The he did the caddy music to those Martin and Lewisville. So you saw that total prick side. He didn't like cerebral comedy. So there was much cerebral comedy. Yes. Yeah. You hate more slaps. So there's not enough. Comedy needs little. The five year old. Touching things book is is how well you guys retreated by some of our favorite character actors and in booking this show. We find that we have a lot of luck with character. Actor yes, Matheson, Peter Rieger, Joe Pantoliano. Dick, dick Miller, dick Miller, Peter Rieger. So you guys sat down with sporting nine Wallich wanna go over its favorites. Rod Steiger rod was great. He was one of the most fascinating interviews we ever did. It was over three hours. And it was the only interview in our forty year career that we voluntarily ended because it was getting dark. We were you know, he was in the patio of his Malibu estate way above the ocean. And he was sitting in a half rolled in this bathrobe and after a while the sunset, and we couldn't see him. We just pulsating past the friendly ghost his head reflecting on the moon was crazy in AB amazing. Great anecdotes about you know, Gary Cooper. And he was you know, he would tell us to stop the recorder when we'd ask about any of these. And we if we were like, oh my God. What what is he pissed at us? And then he'd do the zen like thing you get into this transfer like, maybe thirty seconds. And then he say turn it on. And then he would just give this great for Begum wonderful, quote that was about whatever the the star. We asked about it was great. I remember I think it was the night. They wanted to film some funny sketch of like, they're, you know, land on rod steiger's house. They into. And they that a guy who's there? I shoot said to me he said that rush tiger didn't want them to leave. He wanted people to talk to. Oh, absolutely. I mean, he was incredible. And and he said his whole reason for being the reason we got into movies and up until the day. We met him when he was in his late seventies. He was trying to get respect. It was. So that the style. I as mother to his mother. Yeah. They said I remember shit. This shouldn't a few interviews that he used to get cold from like the bar to go pick up his cabs. New Jersey HARA. Yeah. Absolutely. You know, when he was telling stories about Gary Cooper told how they were doing a reenactment on the Ed Sullivan show when they were in a movie together, the court martial Billy Mitchell who and he said that Cooper was just sweating bullets. He was very nervous was late in his life and career. But he said, well, he got through gamely doing that bid. He said he had no problem in the dressing room with Elizabeth Montgomery during the filming of that movie. Yeah. They had to crowbar. Don't work still, maybe the heart. Founded interesting that he told you guys if I weren't an actor. I'd be some mean drunk that got stabbed. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And that was all, you know, a testament to his mother who he he'd be called out of high school up to the the, you know, the front of the class, and they'd say rod, you gotta pick your mother up she's dead drunk at a bar in downtown Newark felt so embarrassed so shattered, and that was the whole respect thing. That's how it started. And he said, I will never countenance the disrespect of the Steiger name my whole life. Could for him has been. Credit to him. He got an Oscar. I think he deserves to be mentioned. I'm glad we're talking about him. Because here's a guy very few Merican actors could do dialects better than yes. Yes. And he won an Oscar for in the heat of the night or two and the indignity came when he was trying to resurrect his career to pay the bills because he had young kids. He made a movie with semester Stallone, and Sharon Stone called the specialist. And he said before I could get that job. I to sit in the opulent office of a young thirty four year old studio executive who had the nerve to ask me. Can you do a southern accent pots, I was an Oscar for the night. You know, you idiot story I told you on the phone about Philly winters, and I hope it's not apocryphal. No young executive Astor what she's done and she reaches shopping bag and took out her Oscar, right, right? He also said that his favorite movie of all time was the pawnbroker Gilbert. Yes. He's an said he's he was mistaken for years for being Jewish. But he said he was the only Lutheran in a Jewish neighborhood in Newark. So he like learned from os Jewish friends sort of you know, what the mill you was. And you know, that Hellman did step everybody assumed he was Jewish that movie. Right. And he'll soy heard had like a crippling depreciate told when we interviewed him in. This was like maybe a couple of years after we interviewed. I'm looking closely at the photos that we took any has a little little silver. It was a silver ornament on on his not across or anything like that. But like little ornament, and it was of the little prince. And when we asked we had asked him during the interview, whatever got you through your depression. And he said, it was the the the the story of the little prince by Saint Exupery, he said anyone who's suffering crippling depression should read that book, and it'll get. Them through. And it was years later that we saw own my gun. He has a little prince thing, you know, around his neck. It was amazing. I just I just met him. Once I spoke briefly with and he told me that story that you famous story when he was doing the Cape seen in on. Yeah. And usually the actor if they care if they're professional they stand behind the camera while the other one's doing their close up and Brando, just went home. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And he said I didn't speak to him for twenty years. Well, Marie Saint who wonder Oscar for that film debut sort of was caught in the middle. She's in the book. Yeah. She loved Brando. She certainly liked rod. But rod would not let that go. And that sort of bothered even Marie that. He would never let go of this dislike or this problem. He had with terrific actor. I love him in no way to treat a lady. Yeah. Rang broker the loved one. Stike is one of those is much like out Pacino who whether it's a great performance or a bad performance. It's so enjoyable. It's a weird thing. He's one of the few actors that really would come clean about roles that they lost or that. They cut down. He said it was the first choice for patent. And he said he said sometimes I regret that I turn that down. But other times, I mean, an anti-war mood, and I'm glad that I didn't take that role. So. I think he always felt that had he done Patten. They would have given him the godfather. About a much happier guy. Ernest borgnine? Well, yeah. I mean, a love of life kind of goes, right? You know, we got to know Ernie because he became a regular every year at the Milwaukee circus parade and that happened because he was on Carson in the early nineteen seventies promoting the Poseidon adventure. And cursing said Ernie you've played damn near every role in your career. Is there anything you haven't played? And he said, you know, I've never been a circus clown. So there was this PR guy in Milwaukee who puts on this annual surface, but they don't have it anymore. And he got on the phone to Ernie says, guess what I can make you a circus clown. So for about twenty-five years every year, he and the lovely Tova his way. So yeah. But Ernie loved his role is supporting actor. And you know, we talk about Sager. There is a good transition because Steiger played Marty. But state or was looked at as being a bit difficult. And so they gave the role to Ernest borgnine who ended up winning the Oscar for but one of our favorite films is the wild bunch the San Peckinpah film and talk about that. Yeah. There's that famous scene where William Holden. And what's his Ryan Robert Wright, all go into the brothel in Mexico? And then there's the scene of Ernie outside of the brothel widdling a piece of wood. So of course, film historians are making up that he was gay, and it's a fallacy what have you, and I asked we asked her any about it. And he does that big hearty laugh. And he says, no, I was just finished. I. Well, and then the story, I don't know if the people know the story of how he got Mikhail's, you know, that's yes. Yes. I know this. Okay. So the interesting thing was, of course, back in those days, if you're a film star, it was considered a step down to go into television not so much now. So some kid went to his door selling candy for a local little league or what have you and he looks at him. And he goes, aren't you James r Ness, and he goes, no, this was the big star of gun smoke. And then he said he looked at him. Again. He says, aren't you Richard Boone who was then we'll Taliban. Yeah. So Ernie was dejected his ego was bruised. The kid be buys the food or whatever the kid was selling. He gets back to the agent. And he says is that Mikhail's navy role still available ages. Yes, he says I'll take it while and from that moment on after Maceio he said, it didn't matter whatever whatever he did in. Film everywhere in the world. He went the greeting was how you doing Maceio. Everyone was one of those actors. That's still was able to make features too. Right. And we had on John Amos and John Amos work with cops them future cop. Oh, yeah. They worked together and John Amos said like at times during the filming it would hit him. He's worked you look over at him. Him in the middle of scene. Yeah. No. He was just a again, great guy. I heard that they once had a reunion of the Poseidon adventure and Ernest borgnine walked in and he was all hunched over his hands was shaking. He was like weasing for breath and holding onto a chair. And then everyone's looking I'm going, oh, my God is going to die soon. And then Ernest borgnine stop stood up straight and yelled, you thought I got old. Maybe Shelley winters. I mean, I. And then he made that one of his last films with that David Suker film called baseball. Yes. David here. Was in like cartoon stored. The yeah. Yeah. He had a nice long career a lot of people love them. Yeah. Like aboagye? Okay. In the time that we have left. And of course, we're never going to get to everybody here. And they wanna talk about. And she was so maybe we can get her on the line here till Gilbert. Yes, let's ask about to TV stars that we've talked about on the show Ted Knight because it's a really sweet story. Yeah. Peanut Faulk too. Guys got to sit down with Ted. Knight was great. We interviewed him on the set of too close for comfort. You know, the the show he did after. And he's just a wonderful guy. And Dave, and I were had been out here for like, maybe two two and a half weeks. And we run a low on our on our kick, which we like, yeah, we didn't know if we'd be able to pay the hotel Bill. So we kinda in a weak moment said Ted, you know, we're of destitute. You know, we weren't angling for anything. And he said, well, you guys. If I can help you out I will any ripped out a check a blank check and gave it to us and said right in any amount you want to and it's no problem and being the mid western Minnesota rubes. Ted baxter. Give you a blank, check -actly. And we didn't take it so competitive for tired. Oh, my well loved guy who had success late in his career a bit player. He's like a tight always played the Nazis. Exactly. Both John Amos and Ed Asner. On the show and both rave about watching him. Do a scene. Yeah. Yeah. That doesn't surprise me has told us that he that Ted Knight in between takes of Mary Tyler Moore was the funniest guy you'd ever Shaw in a row. He absolutely cracked everyone. Mary everybody. He's. And they used to sit in on the sidelines just to watch Kevin McCloud. Yeah. Yeah. Sit there and envy what he could do. Yeah. Fantastic. Book ted. Knight tells a story that to a Jewish in for parts, he learned one piece of dial one whole page of dialogue in germ. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then it wound up like what it was saying is, you know, gee, I think I'll get a haircut. Benign exact any get the roles. He was a show biz saviour. He was a pummel year. He was really quest. He did everything and showbiz related Leslie Nielsen same oiled for decades. The naked gun airplane folk was a great another one. I mean, if the time we saw him he was really into his painting. Yeah, he did a lot of charcoal paintings. And I don't know whatever happened to him. But he certainly was a well aware that his legacy was always going to be Colombo showed his Emmys on the shelf. Yeah. And but again, here's a guy who was a terrific character after well beyond what he did in Colombo. But he also was chain smoking. Yeah. Human smudge pot when we met him. I mean, it was just you know, ashes everywhere couldn't kick those cigarettes. Oh, no. And he he used the excuse that. Hey, my mom's ninety and still alive. Well. People yell serpentine to him in the. I would say in the streets. But that would have been a good question to ask him him in Arken. Yeah, he loved that. He referred to Columba was an asp backward. Sherlock, holmes? Right. What's so horrible is him toward the end. Because you know, I mean when when Rita Hayworth got Alzheimer's, there was no internet. Yeah. Right with pita full. They wasn't in it. And it was all over the place. Yeah. Yeah. Wandering industry yelling at peop-. Yeah. I figured it was just forgetful this from Colombo or something part of his character. But yeah, we list said, yeah. Okay. Do you guys want to tell us about Capra, which I found fast? Oh my God. I wanna tell about Cagney. Which one you want to take cap, or what do we flip a coin? Okay. Cagney naked. We saw. Juneau Gilbert camp your pre seeing. You know, God did not do anything to us naked like a vet? Towel whipped us because he tolerate Cagney didn't run into the room and go stop looking at my. Which I you know, he had a pair at that point. No, no. It wasn't Capra. We cater viewed in Minneapolis. Minnesota became to Minnesota for a film festival. It was the dead of winter. It was about ten degrees below zero. And he came like he was teeing off it Palm Springs at the eighteenth fairway. On TNT. He had no cold. Limit was springs. I mean, you know, like engine blocks for falling out of cars, and he's he's like practically in a bathing suit. And what we did was we kidnapped them from this film festival because we're never going to be able to interview them going through stages with the film people. So we just went up to his room back. Then we went to the the the the deaths, and we asked what what room is Mr. Kamran, and they gave it to us. It was like a kindlier gentler. America didn't care. So we won't we knocked on his door. Got no answer. We went back down and got like a hotel dick with a master key. 'cause we were worried we go back up. He opens up the door and campers in the shower screaming at us. Swearing in. Halle Elissa is new. God. Three years old was eighty three threes going insane. So we beat a hasty retreat. And then we have the goal to wait for him in the lobby thinking, we can still get an interview he comes down just sputtering piss, and then he said, we say mister cabraha. Do we can you do an interview with us? And he's like all right. And so. For minnesota. We take them all over. We took them five times across the Mississippi. Right story are the best things in the book because he wanted to see the Mark Twain's river. He was the crux of twain. He said we put a little cushion under. But because he was so little and so he could see out the window. He opens a window it. Remember, it's like ten below zero. And he's like five times go over the river. And he's like waxing rep Sada about the Mississippi minor and you guys driving around in sub-zero temperatures kaffir. The. Wanted to go to church. So we take them to the, you know, the Minnesota they could the'drugs Saint fedral. It was right after the hostages from Iran had been led out. So they had Mike Mike country Tisza the recessional him, and they had all these lyric sheets like eight verses camper. New every verse without looking at the lyric sheets. He knew him by HARA like the ultimate mayors patriot. Exactly hours later. We get them back to like the coordinator of the Minnesota film festival, and she's pissed at us. She's looking at us like she's gonna kill us and camera. You know, little silent film writer, gag guy. Looks at us let let's twist in the wind for about three seconds and says, well, I had the greatest tour from two of the top flight tour guides in the state. And so we were off the hook. You couldn't help for anything. By the way, you'll have to say to our listeners you'll have to get the book for this. But he tells you a fantastic Ernest Hemingway from the back seat of the car Ernest Hemingway fans when you. You might not be a fan after Hemingway after million names that we could pick off these cars here. Tell you tell us if you want to hear about Cagney Mickey Rooney go, oh, make your Rooney. I heard two major league brick. Yeah. Not anymore. I heard he which major leaguer crazy. Yeah. You didn't know if any anecdote or story, he was telling you was true. You never knew. But Tom tell the story about the woman came up to us at the hotel when he Westlake like West Lake Mary hot out in the middle of nowhere. The western end of the valley. And you know, I'm sitting we're both sitting there in the lobby and waiting for him. And it's like twenty minutes, and then he comes huffing and puffing in this like Yale cap like over went to Yale. And he's. And he's. Totally sweating. He's a red mass. And he's like my car ran out of gas on the freeway ahead to run here. We're like, okay. Well, whatever we sit down in the lobby where people are checking in. He's like know in this couch is waiting and then this woman a raptor sorts of circles like a vulture like she kinda recognizes them, but doesn't really quite recognize him. She comes up to us. And then he she goes to Mickey aren't you? Oh, I love your films. Dear dear getaway for me. I'm doing an interview. Can't you see this get the hell I was only told him. I couldn't believe. I heard a story about Mickey Rooney that he was in some public place, and you know, a crowd was gathering lining up to get his autograph and among them in the crowd was a guy really handicapped in like an electric wheelchair strapped in and looking very like shaking and everything and make you Rooney's yell out. Hey, get him up head of the line. I want to shake your hand and give you an autograph, and they moved him up, and he signed the autograph and then make you Rooney leans over to one of the guys working for me goes. Now, get them the fuck out of. That sounds like he might have said that. Gobert you need to do your own Hollywood legends. It won't be as heart warming. Will you do them to forward to our second? As a perfect segue. Let bitterness Jack Carter. We'll have to come back and talk about Cagney and other. We'll make them read the book. Yeah. The cat. The cat and this grey repect stuff in the book and Robert stacks his car for you guys. Really? Deforest Kelley wanting to. Story is funny. But let's say Tony Curtis to Jack Carter we saw him when he was already ninety nine years. Still lived in the same home on Chevy. Chase drive in Beverly Hills. Nice real estate, although we characterize it as a tear down because he had never touched the home in a forty years. He was so embittered. He was so to us. To get him for the tour buses, he said, come by the house and point to next door were Joey Bishop Liz, I'm still alive, I'm still alive, and they ignore me. He goes when these comedians die. The news media calls everyone, but me to get flow. Sick thing. The nail in the conflict was a week later. He phoned me I live out in LA. And he said, Tom, I want you to do my autobiography scores to settle. Work again. I said sorry, Jack. I don't have time. So it was like I refused to do. An we refuse to do an autobiography it was like the final book. History of bitter book Carter about to Ranchi and Groucho that he claimed the book. Oh, he says. He says good do he said something about Durante about don't Araujo. Into the house when he was really old sits on about. Why do you wear that stupid hat or some way the book? Why don't you die already? Groucho at a dark side. And then. Frank knows the book better than we cover to colors. Wonderful. Thank you any thought, Johnny. Carson was. Yeah. What? Johnny was New York. Days. Johnny drink a lot. Yeah. An angry drug. So apparently Killington Carter. He was with another Bush comedian Jan Murray and parts loving the and the Johnny was fewing. Antisemitic stuff, Jan marine Carter came. Yeah. After he came out of a restaurant. He said are you Jews going into that restaurant on my God? And then like Jan Murray beat the shit on a car. I mean you've seen Jan Murray. I mean could he beat a fly out any Mike love to watch? Jan murray. Beat up. There's a lot of sweetness in the book as we talked about Robert stack one, and I'll let people let people buy the book, and it's great, but there's also a wonderful helping of bitterness. Also, Jackie Coogan with uncle fester. Ripping into Chevy Chase for no reason whatsoever. Any six us with the Bill, of course, he drank ate ice. Teas I've never any didn't go to the bathroom like amazing. I couldn't believe control cheese mushroom omelette, and he had no bottom teeth. Spewing out. Honor glasses. Oh my God. Let me tell them some of the other people in the book to and there's some some more offbeat interviews. Al Hirschfeld, Julius. Epstein the writer of CASA Blanca, the nNcholas brothers for Christ found Mel Blanc, and we talked on the phone Louis Marx. Yeah. Acting. God Mel Blanc. Oh, yeah. I would've loved his voice was like Barney rebels. Speeding voice talk rubble. And the people you didn't get the people. You didn't put in the book, I should say the net. Fabri Sheldon, Leonard you met with these the book, Alan HALE. Walston hated my favorite Martian, but you notice he no problem doing the sequel that was made years later when they wrote him a nice check. There's so much good stuff in there. There's so many people we didn't get to. And it's is it to fifty you. What do you put the number at a flea about two fifty? You know, we've re you're you're listening to weei happy to know. We don't pursue contemporary actors or actresses, and the reason we don't like our show in book form. Yeah. Because we live in the past like you guys. And we just this is sort of the bow. This book is the package in the bow because working with publicists and contemporary stars and the gauntlet that you have to go to get access just it's not fun anymore. Yeah. We had a great time doing this. Yeah. We've almost had about two hundred and fifty guests on this show. And in reading the book and doing the show come to a conclusion people are fucking nuts. Yes. That's true statement. Butte. Jack, Jack Carter we miss by like a day just married to do this. Just to get out. Like the next day. You would have you also have songwriters here. Sammy Cahn Gilbert. I talk about Billy may Ray burns favorites. Hoagy carmichael. Yeah. Yeah. There's so many people in this book. There's so many wonderful interviews. I don't know how you got Robert Wagner to do a forward with for you. But that's also a coup. Damn. Yeah. So you wanna plug it? One more time. Okay. The bookish Hollywood heyday seventy-five candidate interviews with golden age legends. And the authors are David Bantle and Tom Johnson who saw e Vic minues pussy. Don't you realize we're in the metoo era? Greg Greek pack to. Back. They may have met Charlie. Care. Listen. The show because show we do as a labor of love. Obviously this book is definitely we can't believe what you guys pulled off. He'll be pulling it off. So get the book everybody the Lucille ball story. We tease we didn't give you that one. Either. You got you got it. Book, and we wanna thank the person who refuses to nave on this show. Great, Gino, Salvi, Gino. Yeah. Love you, Gino. And this was a real hoot. Thank you. Angels come from. Could you get money? Business like show. Tell me. Trampling through the country freely. On. Smiling. As you watch the benches. See on. Show. Avon what type? This. Studio would change. Gottfried, amazing podcast is produced by Sarah Godfried and Franks to Padre with audio production by Frankford Orosa, web and social media's handled by Mike Patton, Greg hair and John Bradley seals special audio contributions, by John beach, special things to jump Kodiak John Murray and Paul Rayburn. Join me writer producer and actor Jon Levinstein as I reflect on my life in show business at John Levinstein retirement party. I'll share memories rehash old decisions and resolve disputes while creating new ones me and my co host Mary Kobe. He revisit the wildest moments of my career with the help of old friends from arrested development. The John layer kit show Kroll show into Portland yet. You'll hear from Kate Burlington. John Early Karen kill Gareth, you'll salloway Nick Crowe and Tompkins the list goes on and on John Levinstein retirement parties out now. Subscribe now in Stitcher, apple podcasts or wherever you listen.
Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast
Aired Last month 45:07
(LIVE) Extremely Overdue Library Books (Entry 445.2T0413)
If you haven't checked out my new series the end of the world with Josh Clark. The now's a great time to start the holidays are over the doldrums of winter had begun. And there's no better time to explore existentialist dread than right now. But wait, there's more to the end of the world than that. Yes. The series is about existential risks. But it's also about hope the threats that are coming our way that could wipe humans right out of existence. Could also be just the thing that makes us band together. In a way that humanity never has before in the end of the world. I take you on a journey across time and space from the moment and asteroid collided with earth and set off a chain of events that wiped out the dinosaurs to the post biological future where we live in a digital format. If we don't already we'll explore big questions like whether we're alone in the universe and exactly how artificial intelligence could take control of our world from us. It also has a beautiful score. For and cinematic sound design. So it's an adventure for your mind. Which is just the thing to snap. You out of the winter blondes all ten episodes of the end of the world with Josh Clark are available for you to binge now on apple podcasts the iheartradio app or wherever you get podcasts. And. This message. We are Ken Jennings, and John Rodrick we speak to you from our present, which we can only assume as your distant past the turbulent time that was the early twenty first century during the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization. We began this monumental reference of strange, obscure, human knowledge, these recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders esoterica that would otherwise be lost. So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions. This is our legacy to you. This is our time capsule. This is the. Accessed entry four four five. Two TS zero four one three certificate number two nine three four two. Extremely overdue library books book on in nineteen seventy-one return at nineteen seventy one seventy one that was my first year on the jump that you're for libraries for American if he's burner library cards every Huffman telling everybody Steele books on judge a man by the length of Sarah that kind of music, you listen to rock was never mind bay that you put on very shoes you walk into the new York Public Library. You have a young daughter, John do you guys veil yourself your local public lending library? We do we taught my daughter to use the library when she was very young. She loves it there. I mean, honestly, I'm kind of embarrassed for myself because I stopped using the library at a certain point when I stopped like when you turn nine. No, no, no. I used it until I was an adult, but then I stop consuming media. Because they haven't made any media. There's been no new content for the last thirty years. Timing was perfect. My inner life is such a rainbow that going to the library just confuses me. But my daughter loves it there. This is your plug for reading why read books when you can close your eyes and see the dreamscapes that is John Rodericks Inner Visions, I live in a seven sided lighthouse made of dreams and why I never come down. I just I pull my food up on a string and in that world who needs PD James mysteries. Right, right. My kids go to the library all the time. Well, I know you're a library. I mean, it's kind of your brand right library brand library. My mom was in elementary school library for many years. So I was not wrong. Brandis my birthright, it's on your family crest on my chromosomes. And other pretty firm believer in the fact that reading kids maybe the one thing you can do to change their outcome for the better. So I mentioned we always read bedtime stories to the kids brainwash them into libraries from a young age. We worried about the outcome of your children. Did you did you feel like you needed a tip the scales a little bit but finger on the skills by reading to them has anybody ever had a child and not been like serial killer. What are the odds? I mean, what can I do you have to kind of wonder, right? If there's any little thing I can do like if reading eleven minutes of narnia tonight lowers the serial killer odds by like half a percent. And I'll do it. I got time. Anyone who's had a kid knows that they all manifest as serial killers from the very beginning. Only when they get to be about seven or eight that you start to feel confident like, okay, she's not going to eat my face if I fall asleep. Kind of aged out of public libraries, which makes me sad. But they were very I would take my daughter to the library for years, and she would have to get a couple books and six Archie, comics and puppets. They were lending like, stuffed animal puppets and DVD on Broadway. Soundtracks, whoever whose idea that was possibly be the downside of PASOK stuffed animals around thousands of area children to say puppet lending library. And then just let it percolate in your mind, lending library and spinal tap. Ed puppet lending library. So my kids always loved libraries. But the problem is apparent is the kids are terrible at keeping track of flubber books. Right. Have you ever lost a library? Oh, we have this problem so much because her school library. Also, we got an Email from her school library every two days about some book that some fancy Nancy book that had gone missing. And she could never remember. She had three backpacks. So she had her backpack than she had her second back and then her third backpack. And they were because you guys not afford the letter p. My my family always drops or adds an extra letter to every word. Welcome to our back notice. There's no. Which is why you want ding. Als, but I could never figure out what her she had a rotation system of backpacks like she knew which one was was the current one. And I think it was that she only half her lunch. And so she wanted the moldy lunch to kind of have a chance to find its way around the living room before it got you want to rotate a few days worth of lunches. I could never find her fancy Nancy's. What would did you have a system? You must have had a system that seems we we try to have the system, but the kids will buck any system. This is the shelf on your room that's for library books. Please for the love of God, keep your library books on the shelf. It's super easy, then we'll take them back to the library. You can get more books. It's the principle of how libraries work, and they could not do it. So you wind up in the psycho of nervously renewing stuff hoping it turns up the kid in me is totally rebelling against your plan right now. Why does it have to be shell? I didn't ask to be born. I'm just hiding behind the toilet just to frustrate you. It felt like that was what was going on. Do you think I had to hide Tida grip on the library card? Just let them be kids speaking as your co podcast. I would not say a tight grip was really one of the things. That I thought of when I think of you. They lose things you get these reminders from the library. Like, it's the crown jewels. And maybe it's only ten cents a day or quarter a day or whatever your library system is but the fines can add up, especially with kids and adult won't like check out one. Paperback take a couple of weeks to read it either return on time or not pay thirty cents if they were late and get their next paperback. But it's child we'll have to get her seven fancy Nancy books and Archie comics and her Broadway soundtracks, and your kids would want to have twenty things at once a week goes if you miss going to the library for a week that's twenty times ten times seven, and it's fourteen bucks, fourteen dollars fourteen American dollars, and they come at you like, it's the crown jewels. I was working my way through the hardy, boys. Right. So I would read three of them. But I would need to get to the next three. Even though they're not telling us stories, you can read them in any order. No. You read them in any order. We'll know I just I felt like if I was going to die at some point. They do. Their characters do evolve over time. Right. Hung a ton. If you if you were reading Archie from the fifties to the present, you would see that the standard there in Riverdale as changed quite a bit. But and then I made it all the way through the hardy, boys. I went through the Nancy Druze. And then I went through the encyclopedia Browns. You know? I had had a plan as it was systematic. But I think kids today. With their multitude of choices when I was a kid. We only had the bible. Shakespeare, this is the weirdest. The weirdest kids today. Riff. I've ever heard millennials are reading encyclopedia Brown out of order. The whole reason we are like we are is that all we had was a set of encyclopedias. Right. I mean, exactly right. He's sitting read the world book. You don't read that in order. You don't. Read world booking medical order. I started at Aardvark. So lost books are very real problem for parents, and they're very problem for libraries to because they want to keep their catalog intact. They don't want people waltzing out with stuff so libraries will rescind the borrowing privileges of people who don't return books, but there's this whole genre of news stories that you've probably seen. It's just newspaper filler about books that are returned comically late. There's never any story of a book is not returned. It's never like this book is three hundred years overdue. It's always somebody died and in their states sailor house clearance, or whatever or a nephew found the book and returned it to the library. And this is like my favorite kind of news, in my opinion. One hundred percent of news coverage should be extremely overdue library. Extremely my gym. The titles are funny because they're all time e books. There was a case in Lawrence Kansas where book was returned after being twenty one years overdue. It's called the versatile grain and the elegant being a celebration of the world's most healthful foods. And I love to imagine somebody just reading that for twenty one years. Made me to refer to it over and over the book about the being in the grain get it down. It's like the Dow to ching reveals something new every time you every time you open it. In danville Kentucky, disperse was overdue so long that it predates written records. So we know it's least one hundred and fifty years overdue when returned the ancient history of the Carthaginians Assyrians, Babylonians Meads and Persians Macedonians and Grecian's volume two. Volume. One apparently returned to the time we met her wonder how much those books like that. How much has the scholarship on ancient cultures change from eighteen fifty to the present? I found the experience of trying to find a book in my library that I remember being a kid and every book I read as a kid is out of print because I'm in my forties, libraries, do not keep old books around getting moldy. So but also that library is still extant the library. Danville kentucky. Didn't we burn? Denver Kentucky there in the civil war. Nothing then they rebuild it all in like modernism one hundred and fifty years, right? If this story from the early two thousand that would have been Mt. Bellum library books. Yeah. Exactly. Why did we leave that library standard? There are cases where this is exactly to your point in two thousand eleven book returned to an Australian library that was checked out in eighteen eighty nine a copy of insect diverse plants by Charles Dickens and sick. I believe it's insect. Awesome. But it sounds wrong. Right. Insectivores insects diverse plants. And so this book checked out in eighteen eighty nine so long ago that Australia was not a country when the book originally came off the ticket back to England, exactly. Please find some other crown penal colony. It was a prison library, basically when they check it out. Andy frame pushing his cart. One of my favorite titles. This is from. In two thousand fourteen this is a book that was returned to some American Library ideal marriage. It's physiology and technique. What was the publication date of that book? It looks like it's a very early Random House book. I'm looking at the cover forties. Fifties. I think so we can only assume that it's physiology and technique means this is a sex manual, right? It's ex manual and that was the dawn of sex education you had to call sex books ideal marriage, ideal marriage towers, the naughtiest thing they can think of back then when I see the words ideal marriage on a vote cover get a little excited, and this was returned by the son-in-law of the original borrower and when the library asked what happened to this guy who had this ideal marriage book for fifty five years under his mattress? Yeah. You don't want this book anymore like? No, the son-in-law confirmed that the borrowers. First marriage did in fact fail. Oh, he had ideal marriage. It's physiology technique for fifty five years, and he was still struggling on his technique. Or her physiology possibly? John. Do you have a website? I do I have John Rodrick dot com. I have the long winters dot com. I encourage people to go. Visit both of those things must be super hard to build and create a website. It was hard in the early days of web stuff, and I had to rely on web e people and then people weighing people came expense with their web feet, but then squarespace came along. And I ended up building both John Roderick dot com and the long winters dot com on squarespace, and that has been incredibly easy, easy for me to maintain and administer I dearly love, my wife, but I would never describe her as a technical person. But she has this home business now where she teaches cooking and baking classes, two kids at home and at schools and she set up a website with scores face, and she ended up like the same day, even though she was very intimidated. They have these really beautiful templates. I mean, any style of website, you could possibly imagine. Jn? They have it kind of prebuilt for you twenty four seven customer support. You just step into it. You populate it with your own content, and it goes up, and it looks great. And it looks individual. It doesn't look cookie cutter they do Email campaigns. Now, if you want to send out website content over Email to your subscriber lists I start doing that immediately. Well, let's finish the ad and then you can start sending out emails. Emails people might Email blog. So John does that everybody else checkout squarespace dot com slash omnibus for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch you can use the offer code omnibus to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website, or domain. Nice squares base. My mom bought me one of those like joy of sex sort of learn about sex books in lieu of talking to me about sex last year. Yeah. That's right. She was like your relationships don't seem to work out. Have you do, you know, all the things you need to know? Which one was it. I'm kind of a connoisseur. These the little cartoon it was all babies cartoons. But no it was about like your body and sex. It's changing John. My body has changed. I was so embarrassed by this book, so embarrassed to have it. I never opened it or looked at it. I put it in the bottom of not the top of my closet in the bottom of my closet underneath a bag underneath some shoes because it was talking about sex. And I was so just like horrified not terrified, although also terrified. But horrified that there was all these sexy sexy people with Uber in this like drawings of them in this book. You did not want drawings of armpit and people do not pleasure oneself, or one's friend around me. That's a good rule. I can't believe I'm going to tell this story. But we took our daughter to her whatever they call it. Puberty and maturation class or whatever they do these at Seattle Children's hospital. Have you heard about this sex Ed with your parents, and it's really caught on? So I had to take my son to this nightmare of thing. And then it turned all his friends, we're going we hang out with his friend and they're weird dad's. We had to go get get burgers at the mall. I and then my my wife took my my daughter to the puberty class, and she comes home with this book, which is called something like we'll puberty last forever. Is that what kids are worried about? Forever to have like if the hair keeps coming into this rate. So I'm painting a mural on my daughter's while, and I find this book behind her shelf puberty lasts forever. And I put it back up the next day. I come back to work more on the mural. It's a little a runner of grass and cloud. I come back to work on the mural more. The book is back behind the shelf. Put it back out the third comeback. It's by the shell from the same place. Caitlyn? You know, I'm painting grass and clouds on your I'm behind this shelf every day, can you please stop putting will last forever, right run paint. And she says exactly what you just said. She said, I don't want it on my shelf like the psychic load of having on himself next to her Nancy. Drew's was killing her. Well, it was the psychic load also of knowing that your mother had put it there wanted you to read it. I just couldn't bear it. But then she did a very interesting thing. Which is she bought a playboy and to play girl and let you choose and tucked to them in. It's like when they have a new Dalai Lama, and you have to like. Magazines on the one would I hide crawled toward. No, she tuck them in between the encyclopedias. Left them there. And when I found them, which wasn't long. I honestly had no idea how they got there. And was like the porn ferry came. And I felt like I had found them like a like a prospector. And. What was I thinking, of course. But she was just like, well, he's not going to do. I'm just going to have to put these in the encyclopedias. This is one of the weirdest parenting gambits I have ever heard of and the Playgirl just to incidentally, happened to be the one with Burt Reynolds. And so I actually went through a phase where I would take the Burt Reynolds centerfold. I had a cowboy at. I would take my clothes off, and I would lay on the bed, but the cowboy hat on covering my area and just trying to get exactly the posture of like cool bearskin rug like confidence, and that's been my one move ever. Do you ever? Tell your mom how she changed your life. No. I don't know. I think I was probably twenty seven before I thought wait a minute. Plants mom put those there. So you have never actually confirmed with your mother that she didn't put them between hoping came into our home. She's a total introvert. Even the guy that came to fix the refrigerator. We all had to leave imagining your mom like Francis McDormand in almost famous is that pretty accurate. Yes. She didn't quite have. She wasn't quite as sassy. She mom was a little bit more reserved. One time she had two glasses of wine, and it shook our family to the phone. We we still talk about aid nineteen seventy eight. There's one other case where the library wasn't even anymore. And I just like it because of the book in nineteen thirty four somebody checked out a Victorian socialist romance about a vicar in his daughters called master of men, which I kinda wanna read right? I would read a Victorian socialist. Romance about ticker with three sexy daughters. Sounds pretty woke. Somebody checked it out of nineteen thirty four. And by the time somebody found in two thousand thirteen after I'm sure the original borrowers death or their next of kin, tether. Whatever happened the library shut down. So what are you gonna do with it? What do they do with it? It's homeless. It's an extra book in the universe. It's britain. So I'm sure they gave it to their county council or something we don't have. And they had to figure out what to do with public health, an extra vicar. So you keep mentioning all these books are returned after many many decades. But what about the fines these fine should be paying for? This could be the new Carnegie library system. All these cases. I think the borrower has died. Right. Do you feel should carry on to their next of kin? Grandpa's inheritance is will have to pay all his overdue library books from the forties. How do we feel about contemporary Germany's responsibility for World War Two? Exactly. Exactly. Right. Some reparations need to be paid. It's you don't want to be the white person. Who's like, I never owned slaves. So I'm good thing about it. Is grandfather read that book over and over and imparted that cultural heritage to the children who have benefited from it. What if you did not they need to pay back? What if you can demonstrate the grandpa never mentioned the elegant being well? I'll see you in court. I think it's a winning argument. No, you're right. In many of these cases, people do pay now the library rarely says that's great you twenty six hundred quid or whatever the LeicesteR county library was owed. But in many cases, the people returning the book will volunteer the money in twenty thirteen someone anonymously returned the real book about snakes to a public library in our Bana, Ohio, which have been checked on in nineteen seventy-two. So for forty one years this library was down one very dated natural history guide. About insectivores snakes. And when they returned to being close it with the very precise fine of two hundred ninety nine dollars and thirty cents. They had done the map if the finest two cents a day for forty one years and touched a note saying sorry, I kept this book so long, but I'm very slow reader. My apologies. So apparently, it was worth two hundred ninety nine dollars to them to do this joke. I can think of more eloquent description of who uses public library. Than someone who would voluntarily pay at two hundred and ninety nine dollar fine in order to make a dead Joe. And they're telling they're telling their friends, and I'm like this. I just found this book. Guess what I'm gonna do? They were crouched in the bushes peering in the library window waiting for the librarian dope. In two thousand to one Emily can Nilo SIMS of Abana, Illinois. Discover Kawana Illinois discovered a copy of days and deeds old-timey book of children's poetry. I'm very instructive children's votary days and these. I'm sorry. A rock musician for a long time. Time evoke children's voters called days and dis nuts just weird just have it. So the mind that I can't shake Dede's deeds. OD's things that are -ccomplish. There was originally due April fifteenth nineteen fifty five but undeterred Emily Cannella Smith returned it in two thousand and two with a check for three hundred forty five dollars. She did the math and maybe felt bad. Maybe it was weighing on her soul that she did the math. But didn't defines increase over time. I mean, she just paying nineteen fifty-five fine. And because the fines increase, you would have to know every date on which the fines increase to do them out. But that seems like against something that library person might do an actuary all table. Let me see just to work around. What if you find out what the original fees were in nineteen fifty five and then just use the consumer price index to do to calculate inflation? Or you could find the original finds the current fines and then make a slow. Some some kind of. Current that you actually need calculus. I think you may need calculus to solve this problem. Just to find the area under the curve of the fine. Find how much to pay back the key Wani Illinois public library. Most people do not pay the fine in some cases, because it's forgiving in some cases, libraries will declare an amnesty which is Kaleri to me because usually amnesties like bring in your stolen guns, bringing your illegal radar detector, if you're stealing cable amnesties for actual actual crooks. I get rid of stolen guns. All the time. Is that what you? That what you? Amnesty. It's like everybody else's waiting for the Uniqlo sale. You're waiting for the yearly gun amnesties. You could be like, well, I don't know how this room filled up since last year keep finding these guns in the garden. In twenty thirteen library in Warwick England declared a eight day amnesty for all fines and a fifty year overdue copy of the adventures of Pinocchio appeared during the you can imagine how must have been weighing on somebody's mind. Like, I can't return this. They knew it was there. That's the thing. Right there. Waiting for the perfect moment to get off scot-free. The funny thing is it was all for not it turns out the library had capped fines at like five or six pounds. So the person could have turned it into anytime a little less than their little. Oh, Henry story about guilty consciences and whatnot. I think the most common case, of course, the fine that gets forgiven because often because it's it's a new store in the libraries love the publicity. And they look like nice guys if they say there was a thirty eight hundred dollar fine. But you know, what? Go with God. We're going to knock that down. Right. Bob Barker deal. Let's make a deal actual retail. The price of the book on October fifth seventeen eighty nine an essay on international fairs called the law of nations was checked out from the New York society library and in twenty ten and audit by that library discovered. It was still missing they also found out that the borrower was one George Washington. They have the little card. Goes into this leave George Washington had checked out this book, it seventy eighty nine typical. I won't. I won't tell a lie. But he never returns. The book thing is there's some family in Virginia. That's like this was George Washington. And everybody's like. Well, the thing that happened is the first place they asked mount Vernon versus like, oh, yeah. We totally have the book. Like, really, unlike my daughter, he had a shelf, I guess at he he left the book. There is the greatest story. I've greatest story ever told that's better than Christmas. Thank you John for hype John's my hype man on on library overdue fines. Oh. Ten years. I don't know that that kind of makes my heart sing a little bit that that they could tie that missing book to that card to George Washington to find the book like gives me the sad 's. And what do you want to do the happy said, what do you want to happen to you want mount Vernon to keep the bow? Yes. Now, what mom Vern to keep the book the library. Keep the card for the for the strings of time to thing between the two like two time. Feels like time is a flat circle. Flat circle. It would only be a flat circle if the library had also stolen something from George Washington. Prove they didn't they. Could be anyone think about we'll think about this. George Washington spent the rest of his life, knowing he had purloined a book from the New York society library, and that's what killed him and the library gradually his teeth rotted away. He like he suffered. I bet I bet he suffered for Martha would a night see him leaning over a desk in wherever the presidential mansion was I need to return book, and she'd be like why does he keep saying the law of nations volume five in his sleep? That's like a book that maybe played a role in the founding of our great nation. Sure. I mean, maybe he's a huge nerd, and it's pleasure reading, but presumably it's a policy thing, right? Candy. Remember, the story that was in the news a little while ago about the two white ladies that adopted six black kids, and then the one drove their SUV off a cliff in Oregon and kill them. All geez. No. But I want to know more the fascinating it's terrible story and it happened in two thousand eighteen earlier this year in the spring. And now, there's a new podcast that investigates the whole incident, including with interviews that have never been heard and Facebook pages of one of the moms. I love this kind of podcast. Yeah. It's called broken hearts. It's a new podcast from glamour, and how stuff works that talks about the whole incident. And they have a new episode every Tuesday who is bringing us this podcast while it's hosted by two moms just dean and Liz who kind of approach the story from a parenting lens, but also talk about mental health, racial bias, addiction and hopelessness the seems very timely not just kind of weird true crime thing. But might say a lot. About twenty in America. What do you think? That's right listening. Subscribe to broken hearts that spelled H A R T, S heart. So they were merged family. It's Conde nast. I ever narrative podcast at apple podcasts are on the iheartradio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. So the library of the math. If you have about for two hundred twenty years, or whatever it adds up. That's a three hundred thousand dollar fine. So they were charging in today's money in seventeen eighty nine. I guess they would have had assume that they're dating back to whatever the original would've been and starting them, but the library was kind enough to forgive. The mount Vernon was not assessed of three hundred thousand dollars. Let me ask you do you have a pretty extensive library. I've through it. Most of it is marvel comics. Do you know that words, galactic? Yes. He comes from another universe. I do not wanna hear it. He was named was Gaylon his spacecraft was sucked into a big crunch listing. I'm not listening. What was your question? You know, if you have library book in your library that you never took back. That's. Good question. So most of our library finds stories again have come through the kids. And there have been many cases where they lost a book. And then what do you do if you go in and pay at the library will be like this is kind of a hassle. So once my daughter lost the book, I immediately went in and paid it. And when I found the book they had to bring out a cardboard box and count out change like an elementary school book sale. They don't keep money to reimburse me, no, they're above their above these kind of well, it's fundamental principles of a library that you don't have to pay librarian has less than forty dollars. But you're hiding behind your kids. Do you Ken Jennings have a library book that you checked out and never took back? I don't believe. So but my beef with the library is on a different occasion. Having remember them counting out the change the next time that I just marked book overdue online instead of going to the death it assessed me you now eighteen dollars or whatever. And I said, okay, fine. I'm going to find the book, and I'm going to bring it in. And this will go away. So I find the book, and I bring it in. And they're like, okay. Let's see your late fee is going to be the maximum and say, oh, no, no. No. No. No, no. I marked it lost. And they were like, yes. But you never went in and paid it. I said, well, of course, I didn't if I paid it. You were going to bring out that box again. I just knew I'd produce the book instead, and she's like, well, no you didn't pay. You still have an outstanding debt you need to pay the maximum wage fee. Librarians have very small little world like to exercise much control. This don't slag off. The librarians if you lose your ticket at the airport parking garage, you pay maximum fee come up and say like I was only for four hours. I was trying to do them favor. I did not want the big sale box come out again. So I said, okay. No problem. Once you give me the book back. I will go pay the eighteen dollars on the terminal over there. And then when I give it to you nothing. Right. And she was like, yes. But I can't do it. And I said why? And she said, well, I already checked it. And just now when you handed it to me, and I said, no, I am taking that book back. So I took the book back, and I went home. And now we have that book. That's the only library contraband. Vice book, basically, dole it. Overdue I paid eighteen dollars. And now, I get my spite book, and I'm very happy with it. I read it all the time. I have two books that I can think of just off hand that I checked out from libraries and did not take back. One of them is the hobbits. Did you know they sell this in stores? I have had many copies of it over the years. But I went to guns aga- university at one point, and there's not a single for gun knows eggs here. Anybody here went to anyone here. Go to a Catholic university. Very scattered applause university of San Francisco buddy chain there. They're still afraid that somebody's gonna walk in with a ruler clapping auditorium. So guns zag had one of these beautiful copies of the hobbit. That had the original illustration by talking by Tolkien on the front, and it was pretty ragged. And it was not an original printing. But it was an early one. And I checked it out I believe tended to take it back. But then I was expelled from guns. And expelled with extreme prejudice unrelated to Middle Earth. It had nothing to do with Middle Earth. Although my seven sided lighthouse full of dreams play a role, but no guns. I said go and do not come back not dark doors. So I threw hastily throw everything into a few bags books. Dirty clothes like pizza box with half of pizzas. Still in it and left Spokane under a cloud. And then later found the book among my things and felt no obligation to return to. Again, it's a spite book, and then the other book I have is against nature by Huysman ze. Roberto anyone I'm not familiar, it's a French decadence book about a man who covers a tortoise with jewels. And it's a Baudelaire off wild kind of things laudanum out of handkerchief absent in this book. There's tons of absent I am also I think people are. So the the protagonist is so decadent that he decadence himself to death. Somehow it really comported with my world view at a time of death. After being expelled from gun zag. I was like. If only I had a jewel encrusted tortoise. And I took that book I think from the university of Washington library, and I felt that returning it would be violation of the code the book, expresses. It wasn't steal this book by Hoffman. But this is the this is the opposite of a punk rock like steal this record. This was return this book or don't. And the answer was clearly don't. This reminds me just last week. I was talking to I was backstage on the quiz show jeopardy, and I was talking to. Sorry. Did I drop that really? You know, you with a little syndicated nightly quiz show called jeopardy. Missing it right now. Talking to Pam Mueller fellow jeopardy contestant and she had worked on Capitol Hill for awhile. And she wanted to get a hold of these books called something like secrets of the jeopardy Campion's and how to get on jeopardy and when they were unlicensed jeopardy game show tips, and you couldn't find them anywhere. So she went to she was congressional aide. She went to the library of congress checking out and never returned them. Really? So this day the library of congress is short to jeopardy how to books and I just outed Pam Mueller as thief. I mean, no I opposed to that. I feel like the library of congress. We should respect it as a repository of all are you opposed taxpayer? No, no, no. I just feel like there's gotta be one library of Alexandria that we don't burn. And I I should think it would be that. When she told me I had the same impulse decided to donate copies. Mike copies of those books to America like Thomas Jefferson, James, Madison. We think there to the name of into the have you been to the Jefferson library at the library of congress. So I don't know if I have Jefferson's library. His actual books are shelved in a replication of the rotunda in Monticello nice and a lot of his books. I think were lost in the burning of the capitol building. That is there's still they still have the Jefferson library there at the library of congress. It's a beautiful thing. The the jeopardy section is a little one book. And it's falling over what happened. Are you serious? You're going to take your jeopardy. You're you're contraband jeopardy books and give them to the library and twenty twenty. I'm not getting into the Trump regime. We all know these stories about library insane overdue library fines, you guys have seen stories of this kind right common. News trope. It's a Seinfeld episode, right? There's an episode where some Philip Baker hall place like hard-bitten library cop who comes after Jerry and George for a book, they never returned in high school. And again, this is the kind of thing where we know about this story because for hundreds of years print media needed a certain kind of filler. So we know every time somebody falls into his cage, and we know every time a library book has an exorbitant fine. There's actually a serious side to the story, which is it disproportionately affects children because they're the ones checking out most books and losing most books and the fines can add up. There are American Library districts were thirty five percent of all the kids have had their cards revoked because they built up a four dollar fine and never went back to the library or they built up. They lost a book and mom didn't have the twenty bucks that seems shortsighted to have the fines at all. Well, no, you have a child who is interested in books. That child is forgetful or. As organized another word for that is being a kid, right? And your punishment is to deprive them of books. Exactly that seems a little hard. There should be something else. Like, you should be punished. Like, I was when I had to do community service in the library. What happened rather than do three days in Anchorage city jail for some trumped up thing. I had to spend I had to go. Spend my weekends at the library. Filing books for I don't it seemed like a long time. And it was one of the best jobs. I ever had that seems like a reward to me. Oh, it was so one I'm kind of angry you got to do that as debt to society fill up a cart. And then they just push you out, and you just go into the stacks and put books away. I mean, can you feel it with me just like what is where does this book belong here? Where does this book belong? All day. It was like better than jail. I had. I had the chance to alphabetize something for a few days a couple of months ago, and it was the best two days of my life. I apologize. The birth of my children was great. But like have you ever alphabetized for today's? It's pretty awesome, you self selected this show. You could have gone to a lot of you could be at a rock club right now, we tackle the hard hitting subjects and other podcasts will not. But the new York Public Library, the math found they had half a million kids whose borrowing privileges have been revoked so a lot of libraries are starting to think outside the box because of these exorbitant fees, the new York Public Library decided they would do an amnesty permanent amnesty on all kids books. They just zeroed out all kids books. Problem solved. Other districts will forgive all fees. If you donate to the food Bank bring in a bag full of cans, clam chowder, and and Hormel, chili expires spider expired tomato paste, and your fines are forgiving you. And honestly for a lot of these places. They discover it's revenue neutral not even to have finds the homeless county library system just north of Seattle where we live actually just not enforced once I asked them about this because I was feeling guilty about some book my kid lost. And they said we've done the math, and it would cost us more to monitor and collect on these. We would make on them. If you keep losing stuff block. A block on your card, but nobody's there's no cash amount ever. All go to the snoqaulmie county library now, nobody has rhythm draw. Nobody of used this. Nobody steel their jeopardy books. Columbus Ohio found that they actually did lose five hundred thousand dollars a year when they ended all library fines, but that was like one percent of their budget. Another system in northern Colorado found it was actually revenue neutral to get rid of fines because they could get rid of their credit card fees and all their software for tracking fines, but Columbus, Ohio library budget is such that five hundred thousand dollars is one percent of it. Five hundred thousand the Columbus, Ohio light million dollars dollar budget. Wow. Go to their life. You need to start stealing I additions from Columbus, Ohio. I think. And that concludes. Extremely overdue library books entry four four five dot two t zero four one three certificate number two nine three four two in the on the bus. This is Ron burgundy telling you to listen to my podcast. Here's a little something to what you're right now. I'm a little terrified because I don't know what a podcast, let's take some calls. Caller, number one. You're on with Ron burgundy what's on your mind? No callers. No. Because people aren't listening in realtime Schick got it. If you are listening to this and have downloaded by mistake. Please turn it off. Now, turn it off. The crews here. Okay. All right. Okay. So if you're Taurus horoscope is come on pull together. Defecate was reduced to my basic ample. Villa? Whatever podcasts found.
Omnibus! With Ken Jennings and John Roderick