19 Burst results for "Gary Chapman"
A Powerful Approach to Keeping Remote Staff Motivated
"Paul i really appreciate you being with us. And i expect during this conversation i will learn how you like to be appreciated. Welcome thanks to you. thanks so much. I'm glad to be here. So you and gary chapman. Dr gary chapman or the co author of this book the five languages of appreciation Dr chapman wrote the five love languages. Which many many many of my listeners probably know this quite well. I'd love to hear about the connection between those those to you know sort of so gary wrote that book and then together you wrote this one. I'm sort of interested in. Was there absorb bridge from one to the other. I'm kind of interested in that. Yeah so As a psychologist. One of the things that i was involved in Was consulting with family owned businesses and dealing with the family issues that are intertwined with working together especially business succession. Planning now meeting with a family in north carolina. I'm talking to in this case the dad and the ceo and asking him how the transition plan was going. It's going well my son stepping up. I think it's gonna be fine. I walked across the hall and ss sun. Same question he says. This is a disaster. It's never gonna work. I can't ever you know please my dad and they were just get disconnecting and at the same time my wife and i were going through the five love languages probably for the third or fourth time. Because i'm sort of a slow learner. And i thought i wonder if this could work you know in workplace relationships so i pursued dr chapman actually for over a year and finally met up with him and pitch the idea and others had had sort of a unique maybe background and perspective and throughout the idea of creating this online assessment which we've created into the motivating by appreciation inventory and off it with from there good for you for staying so persistent so politics dig in you. Tell us that there are five languages of appreciation. I'd like you to go through them. One by one. And as you do. I want my listeners to be thinking about which one really resonates for you now. They'll be all kinds of will point you to resources but just be thinking about yes. That's me or no. That's not me. Because i think that'll be a helpful exercise for you to do while. You're listening to paul. Go through them. Paul great so the the names are the same as the five love languages. Words affirmation quality time acts of service tangible gifts in physical touch so but they look differently in the work setting obviously words affirmations pretty straightforward Their words that are affirming or affirming. The value of someone That we work with and you know he had over on now. Two hundred sixty five thousand people take our inventory so it has some fairly data and forty. Six percent of the workforce have words as their primary language. So it's clearly the biggest group it's still less than half of the workforce it's a big group and it's largely telling people Thanks in a very specific way of What they've done and how it's been meaningful to you in could be done orally personally could be through writing whatever you know f- times with more introverted. People clearly now In distant kinds of relationships. You don't may maybe by email or a chat or something like that but the key For words of affirmation to really be meaningful is that they need to be specific. We actually do some polling with our audience in We found out that one of the things that people don't like to hear is good job and the reason is that's a it's just too general and vague and it could be said by anybody to anybody doesn't take much thought or effort and so we really sort of teaching model of us a person's name we'd like to hear names if you riding it. Please spell it correctly and then say specifically what you value in wise important so it might be jennifer. Thanks for getting your report done in an on time to me Because that helps me turn by reporter round quickly without a lot of
"gary chapman" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson
"Last last night. He came and he sat down. And i had to go do something and i got up. And he's like oh. Is that what happens when i sit down and away. Without looking back she goes. I love you kids. They re way they read it. More accused dr chapman. Thank you for everything you do. You've you have made the world a better place with your really. Have i mean you really. It's saying it's not high on not hyperbolic. I mean this is. It's what you have written is real and it's simple but it's real and people from all over the world as you know are following this and all my friends know about it and you know what's even more amazing about it is when you have something and you tap into something amend. It has the kind of reception that it does what it says to me and what. I'm sure it says to you. Is that people want to love better and be loved. This is something that we desire and that we want and it's so interesting that we find it so hard to attain an achieve and sometimes you need a simple guideline and that's what this is. It's guideline it makes so much sense. Sort of like it's like. It's like the big flashing red light. How did i not know today. It's very gratifying. It really is very gratifying. To see the way the book is still so many people in so many contexts. While you know all all of us are gifted in different ways and we just wanna use our abilities to enrich the world if everybody did that. It'd be a great place to the well. Thank you again. But thank you okay. Douglas hey sibling. Revelry is executive produced. By kate hudson and oliver hudson producers alison president editor. Is josh windisch music. By mark hudson aka a uncle..
How to Accept When Your Spouse Doesn't Speak Your Love Language
"As i mentioned. Ryan and i have opposite love languages and for a while. I think that this caused quite a bit of resentment in my marriage. Because i just felt like it wasn't too much to ask for him to learn how to love me in the way that i wanted to be loved. I'm like i need words of affirmation. This should be important to him. Because it's important to me you know. He could like set a little timer on his phone to remind him to send a loving tax store. You know i in my mind. I had all of these ways that he could do this for me if he really wanted to. And when i was stuck in that mindset. I really just felt resentment and so i have really come to peace and accepted the fact in the last little while that it's okay that we don't speak the same language and today i want to share three takeaways for how i've come to this place of not just acceptance but also genuine respect for the ways that my husband's shows me love so first of all. Let's do a really quick overview of the five love languages. I wanna spend too much time on this. Because i think most people are familiar with this concept. It comes from a book called the five. Love languages. By gary chapman. And it's basically the natural way that we give love and the five that he defined are through words of affirmation physical touch quality time gifts and acts of service and of course all of us want to receive love in all of those ways but it is true that we tend to lean more towards one or two as the primary ways that we feel the most loved to determine what yours is. Or what your spouse is you can take a quiz online But you also. I think can just think of hard about them and you can kind of figure it out on your own. So what do you do if your love language does not match with your spouses this takeaway number one and it is to tune in to hear their expressions of love. They are speaking love to you. Even if it's not in words think about those other love languages gifts acts of service physical touch words of affirmation and what was the last one quality time And really try to tune in and look for those expressions of love that they maybe giving you so naturally. It's just who they are that you're just kinda used to it and you almost don't count it. Which isn't fair because it should count even if it's just who they are so really get tuned in and you're listening and you're watching for the ways that they show love. It can be really easy to overlook what comes naturally to your spouse
"gary chapman" Discussed on Made For This with Jennie Allen
"So I'm excited to have you. Dr Chapman thank you so much for joining us today. Be Busy so we want to talk about the five love languages and we're specifically going to do that when it comes to kids but in case. Somebody's not familiar with the five love. Languages tell us just a little bit about each language and kind where this came for you where you had this thought and recognition. I discovered the love. Languages in my calcium was couples They would send him off and say like a wet would say. I didn't feel like he doesn't love me and husband would say. I don't understand that I do this. And this and this. Why would you not feel loved and I knew people were missing each other? Even though they were trying to express love and I just kept hearing similar stories over and over so then time to sit down and read several years of notes that I made when I was counting and asked myself. When someone said my spouse doesn't love me what did they want? What were they complaining about? And their answers the five categories and I later called them the five languages and because I work with couples but also families. I really sensed that the same thing was true about children so in the original book I had one chapter on how this applies to children and people say up saying give us more. Give us more how it works for children so I wrote the second edition and that is the Bible of languages of children written to parents how to effectively love children. So here are the five love languages. Basically number one is awards. Information using words. A for the other person whether your spouse or whether it's a child in our there's an ancient Hebrew proverb that says life and death is in the power of the tone. We can kill each other a we can give each other life by the way we talk and for some people. It's a farming words that really communicate to them. It could be about anything. It'd be boss away. They look it can be something they did. It can be a personality trait that you'd like anything you just giving them. Farming words a second love. Language is acts service doing something for the other person that you know they would like for you to do in a marriage that would be such things as washing dishes vacuuming floors cooking meals watching the car. Low and the grass. Changing the baby's diaper big active service with children. It would be you know. We really forced to speak this language to children because when they're born right can't do anything the food in we'll take the on again. Aloe access service as the child gets older. It's a teaching the child how to do things for themselves. That's even a greater active service. And then there's gifts it's universal to give gifts as an expression of love. The gift says they were thinking about me. Look what they got from any and then number four is quality time giving the other person your undivided attention and for couples. I don't mean sitting on the couch watching television because someone else. Here's your attention. I'm talking about sitting there. Tv OFF COMPUTER OFF. You're looking at each other token with to each other with a tile. You have to go to her. The child is to speak their language Gaudy time. If they're all the floor crawling you goal the floor and crawl you give them your undivided attention as they get older you go wherever they are and you give them your undivided attention and then number five is physical touch and we've loan the most our physical touch that's why we picked up by these hold on kiss them cuddling long before the baby understands the meaning of the word love the baby fields law by physical tach and some of those are the five basic languages and the simple concept. Is that out of those five? Each of us has a primary love language. One out of them will sleep more deeply to us than the other four. And if you don't speak the primary low blame took the other person they will not feel even though you're speaking some of the other one just so that's the basic idea. Well let me tell you my story with your book because it's been a joke in our family. Since we first got married which my husband quickly realized that he had the love language of acts of service and he says I have all the other four that I need that I need all the other four but he knows I don't have acts of service because when he does something for me I just expected into thank you. Thanks for washing my car. Like that's just what has been do so he's like I'm sitting there trying to show you that how much I love you and it means absolutely nothing to you and I was like. I'm sorry so we've had to figure it out and he's gotten better at things. I- gifts and I've gotten better at acts of service. Praise God but anyway we worked it out but I want to go to the idea that there would be love. Languages for kids because candidly. I read this book when we were newlyweds. I have read the book again sense and I know I'm very familiar with it however I have have raised for kids and I could not completely tell you what my kids lovely which is our which I was nervous about before I got and I actually put some thought into it and I could take a guess but I'm sure as parents listening right now or as youth leaders or people that work with kids. They're probably thinking to themselves. That feels overwhelming to know. What all of my kids love languages are. How do you think it's different when a kids ten years old or five years old and they can't really tell you what they need? Well you know you could actually discover a child's love language by the time they're four years old observe their behavior. How do they respond to you? And other people for example my love language is physical touch. When he was that age. I would come home from work. He would run to the door grandma leg and climb up. Only he's touching me because he wants to be touched. Our daughter never did that at that age she would say daddy come into my lonely show you something she won't quality time she will my undivided attention. So really you can discover a child language pretty early just by observing their behavior. Because it's not only how they respond to you. It's how they respond to other people physical touch trial they will. They will be hugging people. There'd be they got siblings. They'll be hugging their siblings. If they they'll you they'll their hook the father so that's one of the ways. Now here's a couple of other ways to discover. Tell as they get older for example you know eight or nine or ten years. Well here's an example. A six year old. Will the question is what do they complain about? Right played about. Actually that's where my brain is going with my kids you're talking. I'm like okay. I know one might be active service because she always gets disappointed. If I didn't do something she asked me to do or like it almost seems like it. Crushes are like. You're not a good mom because you let me down in this way and I'm like I just forgot you know it didn't. It didn't feel like a big deal to me but and all my other kids would have never noticed that. So here's a six another shared this with my six year old. Says we don't ever go the park anymore. Since the baby came said he's complaining about not getting quality time before the baby came he and his mother went to the part together and he had her undivided attention. Now he's not getting it so he's complaining about it so if a thirteen year old says I can't ever please you. They're telling you that works as their language. So what did they complain about most often? And then what did they request most often? For example our daughter is love. Languages I said was quality time when she was a teenager. Rela twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen right on through high school. She would say a couple of days a week after dinner. Dad Can we take a walk after dinner? She's asking me for quality time and I would say to her. Sherwani assert wash dishes for your mother because my life's language is acts of service all happy and they don't want now my son on the other hand we'd never walk with me. He said walking is done. You're not going anywhere you're going somewhere dry. He would say. Those teenage years is dead and we play basketball after dinner and the way we played basketball in the backyard. It was physical. Okay a so you put those three.
"gary chapman" Discussed on Oprah's SuperSoul Conversations
"Dr Gary Chapman is our teacher tonight. He's the man who says that he has discovered averred the secret to lasting love. I gotTa say my staff has been telling me about the five love languages for years. I've seen it over and over on the best sellers colors list and I just want to jump right in. So where does this whole idea. Come from counseling probably for fifteen years and I knew I was during the same stories over and over marriage. Counseling marriage counseling and over and over again one would say I feel like my spouse doesn't love me and the other would say I don't know why I do this and this and this. Why don't they feel loved? And I knew there was a pattern what it was so what I did was go through twelve years years of notes that I made when I was counseling and I asked myself the question when someone said I feel like my spouse doesn't love me what did wont what were they complaining about. And their answers fell in five categories and I later called them. The five love languages audiences split down the middle half have read. Dr Chapman's book and say that their marriages and relationships have never been hotter healthier or happier. And the other half of you not so much here. Okay we're GONNA try to heat it up but you're here for help and that's a good thing all right tonight. Show is for everyone not just for couples whether you're married or single young old inbetween Wayne. Dr Chapman says knowing your love language and this is really good for people who are looking for love and looking for love and all the wrong places and can't find it but knowing your love language can transform ends form every relationship in your life okay. Dr Chapman run US through the five. Love languages okay. Ready you already ready. One of them is words words of affirmation using words to affirm the person you look Nice in that outfit. Okay words another is quality time giving me your undivided later detention. not talking about necessarily talking to each other but doing something together and we are the focus. You're my focus this quality time then. There's receiving gifts universal to receive gifts as an expression of love. The gift says he was thinking about me. Look what he got for me. Acts Acts of service doing something for the other person in a marriage such things as washing dishes and vacuuming floors and those kind of things Physical touch we've long known the emotional national power of physical touch powerful communicator of emotional of those are the five. Those are the five now everybody in our audience already knows their love language. You can find find out your love language by taking Dr Chapman Quiz online or in his book. Of course I found out my love. Languages were devoured formation. So tell us more about that one. That seems real easy all you got. That's why I think it doesn't take a whole lot easier for some low maintenance. I do believe for some people but it is difficult for others. If you grew up in a home where you seldom heard positive words. Now you get to be an adult and you find out that your spouse are our our friend of yours words is. They're laying their primary language. It'll be difficult. Y- it's a learning curve and what I suggest to people is that you get a notebook you write down things you hear other people say are things you read in a magazine stand in front of the mirror. Read them out loud until you hear yourself saying saying these things then walk in the room where they are and site one of them and run broken silence so Dr Chapman says the number one thing he hears from couples on the brink is that the spark is gone and they feel like roommates. We took a poll on FACEBOOK DOT COM asking. How many of you feel more like roommates than a married couple? Oh Lord it was so sad pitiful here the results sixty percent feel like they are living as Roommates Christina and her husband Brad are here and they've been together ten years say they. I feel like roommates. Yeah we do. We feel like I feel like that. The spark has gone John. I feel like it wasn't what it was like in the beginning to the outside world this perfect relationship and you know we drive Nice Nice cars and we do nice vacations and but in our four walls. We're like you know that fifteen minutes passing. Go when we only communicate when it's about the children and I feel like he has a hard time communicating to me sharing his feelings so then he can't do that so then I get angry and then he clams up and I get even angrier or you know one of the things I think you're experiencing first of all a very common thing when we come down off the high of the in love experience which didn't take any effort at all and if we don't don't know each other's love language what happens is the love tank gets empty. Neither of US really feel loved. The difference is get bigger. We end up arguing with each other and without resolving anything and after a while we're asking why do we get married. We don't even like each other and identify with that because in the early years. Here's a marriage. My wife and I went through that same sort of scenario because we had no concept of the love languages in those days. Tell me about the love tank. A lot about it and find the love tank is is a picture. You know the gasoline tank in the car. If it's empty the car is not going to move and the same thing is true and I like to picture inside of us. There's an emotional love tank. If the tank Anka's full that is we genuinely feel loved. Then life is beautiful if the love tank is empty and we don't feel Life against look pretty dark and the differences his get bigger so I think you know the key in terms of how this particular insight could help if you understand that her language is words of affirmation. And you're going to look for things that you do see positive in her and you're GonNa verbalize that to her that's GonNa make her feel a lot better because she's hearing some positive. Thanks coming from you and what I hear him. Saying is languages quality time that means he wants to talk with you. He wants to be with you but not always discussing. cussing the problems on the conflicts. Can't we just sit down and have a good conversation about something that's positive in life and the more you can give him undivided attention. The more he's going to feel by you when both of you feel loved if the love tank is full it's much easier to solve the conflicts that that exists. This between the two of you every couple has conflicts some learn to resolve them in some..
"gary chapman" Discussed on 5 Questions with Dan Schawbel
"Are you looking to reach your full potential and achieve success in business and in life want only tried and tested guides. Let's from people who have truly made an impact. You have come to the right place. Welcome to five questions with Dan Chevelle New York Times bestselling author Dench Bell distills the most actionable and tangible advice from a variety of world-class humans including entrepreneurs ignores authors Olympians Falon Titians Billionaires Nobel Prize winners Ted speakers celebrities astronauts and more inspirational guidance practical advice and concrete solutions our power chat sal welcome to the forty seventh episode of five questions with with Dan Shaw Bell as your host go secured the best advice from the world's smartest and most interesting people by asking them just five questions. My guest today is is the Number One New York Times bestselling author of the Five Love Languages Gary Chapman born in China Grove North Carolina. Gary graduated the Moody Bible Institute received Bachelor's doctors and Masters degrees from Wheaton College in wake forest. He continued his education at the southwestern Baptist theological seminary receiving both a masters of religious education and a doctor of philosophy degree in one thousand nine hundred seventy one gary joined the Calvary Baptist Church in Winston Salem North Carolina and now holds the title of senior Associate Pastor in nineteen ninety two. He published his first and most notable book. The five love languages which is now sold over eleven million copies is in forty nine languages since then he authored many other books in the five love language book series including his latest entitled. Love Language Minute for couples currently currently Gary travels the world presenting seminars about building healthy relationships between couples families and teams. My ex-girlfriend suggested I take the five love languages assessment. It is scored at nine for quality time in eight for words of affirmation in only a two perceiving gifts. My Love languages profile makes sense because quality time means a lot to me and makes me the most fulfilled in any relationship I encourage you to take the assessment and I'm confident that you'll enjoy Gary's words of wisdom in this episode. You spent decades as a counselor and pastor. What is the most common mistake people make that hurts their relationships. And how do they stop making it. Oh that's a big question. You know I would say that. A lot of the biggest things is selfishness. We all see the world through our eyes is and we don't naturally see them through their eyes so learning listen to each other and be empathetic with what they're saying even if you you don't agree with them and let them share their thoughts their opinions their ideas and be able to say thank you hear what you're saying. It makes sense and it always makes sense in their head. It makes sense anatomy share my perspective and you you spend your energy trying to look for solution rather than trying to win an argument uh-huh. That's one of the key issues I think in marriage how good knowing our love languages helped bring us closer together at work and at home well. I think the love language concept deals with the deep emotional need all of us have to feel loved about a significant people in our lives and if you're married the person who would most it's like to love you is your spouse and the love language helps you to communicate love effectively. Most couples love each other they would. We love each other certainly inherited years. We love each other. We love each other but we don't always feel loved and it's because we're expressing love in a way that would make us feel but not in a why they won't make them feel that and so that's why learning the primary love language. The other person is extremely important if you're. GonNa be affected in communicating love and meeting the a deep emotionally the same principle is struggling work relationships only there we don't we don't call it love we appreciation. If we feel appreciated in workplace then we give it our best. If we don't feel appreciated <hes> then we tend to do what we can get by with. What does the delicate balance between South Care Air and care for others. I think South Carolina steps has to come first. That is the fundamentals of south care eating sleeping exercise. I mean those are the fundamentals of the physical body and then keeping emotionally healthy yourself which means working through any difficulties. What is you have a past experience that is working through those emotions of hurt and pain and anger and whatever it might be there so that you can be the person newer designed to be and then the caring comes when we care for our sales now we have the ability to reach out and care for others and that's essentially what love is it is looking out for the benefit of the other person is trying to enrich their lives. I love these accidentally opposite of selfishness and so we thank ourselves then we have the ability to reach out and genuinely love others how has technology impacted relationships and what's the best way to use it to get closer to others others without letting it get in the way you know technology can be an asset reliability to relationships the asset we can tell pretty easily you know opportunities rights to use social media to interface with each other like out of town which Im lot speaking around the country to be able to text my wife when I know she wouldn't be available to talk to her art center photo of where am what's going on in my life. It's good for our relationships so technology can really help us develop Balance Austin relationships. I think the downside is that we can be sitting in the same house. Maybe even in the same room. Both of us are advice book or some other coach. Alenia listen to what other people are saying interfacing with other people and we are physically in each other's presence but nothing going on between us where two different worlds. I think the key is to ask yourself as a couple. How can we utilize technology to enhance our relationship and what are the things so we need to avoid in order to keep away from those things that apart and what is your best piece of career advice. If we understand that lives deepest manny thing is found in serving others and you apply that to your career. Is You're asking yourself. How can I enrich the lives of other people that was walking across across the University of Virginia campus. <hes> sometime ago. I was speaking in their auditorium and in a side door etched in stone above the door org were these words you are here to enrich the world and you impoverished yourself if you forget the errand and I thought wow I had that as a motto and I wondered how many students ever stopped read that but as far as career delete nights it you seek to use your career or to enhance the lives of other people to enrich the lives of other people and when you do that chances are you not only have successful relationships which you'll also have a successful investors. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom Gary to follow his journey you can read his book. Love Language Minute for couples and find them on facebook twitter and instagram where he shares his inspirational in heartfelt quotes relationship advice helpful articles live appearances and conferences. We hope you enjoyed today's show and the amazing advice. Our guest provided remember that you can only benefit from advice. If you packed on it before you do we would appreciate appreciate your feedback. In the form of review you can leave a review on itunes stitcher for a Pod catcher of your choice. Your feedback would be very very much appreciated head over to Dan Chevelle dot com slash review now..
"gary chapman" Discussed on On The Line with EstÃ©e Lalonde
"Languages of love by Gary Chapman. This depicts in relationships. We all speak to each in different languages. So the languages are gift giving. So it might be like buying a coffee paying for dinner all getting by paying for shoes. Now, everyone likes some people like being receiving gave some people like giving gifts, quality time, say, essay, you and I travel all the time. So we like my boyfriend now needs quality time. I need to recognize that he needs it, but I'm saying, like facing independent that maybe I don't need as much as he does. I make conscious effort that he needs that. Physical touch people like cuddling sex, kisses holding homes, acts of service, taking the bins out, running washing the car really simple things. Some people really get off on that in a relationship and some people like to do it to show that they love the other person, and then this words formation. So you gorgeous tonight baby. I love that. What if you like all of the above? Well, then we'll come in different. Basically, what the book says is it's about learning to read the other person's language, like what are they giving you to show you that they love you? So my boyfriend takes bins out because he knows I just love it when he does that. It's like really, it's a service. I just can't get enough of. He loves it when I make dinner. And so it's learning to realize what services, what like little things in the relationship you both needs within those five languages. It's a very good book and it really helped me through a break-up and it helped me understand why I had broken up with that. Okay. That's a really, really interesting book. I'm going to pick it up myself because I think it could help any future relationships, don't you think? And I don't think we actually touched on this, but you crying at a breakfast with beauty PR. That happened to me. I was sobbing and burners tavern with random beauty PR who I will never see again because I was so humiliated afterwards. But I do think there is something that you need to talk to people even people that you don't even really know. Sometimes it's just so good to just get it off your chest as people who like I remember it was a really rubbed him to my break. We live together and he moved out and then had to split take his name off all the accounts fails. Everything. And I was like, I procrastinate for ages. Now my friend said, does the person on the other end of the line is going to have heard this story a thousand times. This is routine procedure just call them, and some people were really nice, many story that that's happened other people. Okay. Yeah. If you could just give me that night and then just ignored it. And I was like, this is called heart of life that I'm going to have to get through, but people will be that at times when you just don't realize that you needed them, but I believe that they are sent to you to just help you agree there have been so many guardian angels in my life lately that I'm just like so excited about, and it really, I think it's taught me how to be there for somebody else. You know, like if one of my good friends came to me and was like, I'm going through this. I think I'd be like, right and. Got that sage get. Those crystals and that seco- anyway, I think we have pretty much covered it all. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode with jewels. He's always such a Ray of sunshine in my life, and I hope that his advice really helped you out. I'm sure it did because even helped me out was amazing. Thank you. Joel. I learned so much from Jules. I think the most important thing I learned from jill's is to exit a relationship. The way entered the relationship with a lot of respect and love, peace, harmony, NAMA, stay. I know breakup are incredibly difficult. Some are much harder than others, but I hope if you're going through something like that or you've been through something like that or you're thinking about going through something like that. I hope this episode helped you digest a few things and gave you some advice and some tips that you'll find helpful. Make sure you tune in again next week. We have weekly episodes on loads of different subjects, and I can't wait to hear the rest of the season. Hello.
"gary chapman" Discussed on The Chad Prather Show
"My fear of that has turned into despite the fact that i'm sure that moment i'll still be gone second one more thing dads passage changed it all for me and uh i'm not scared now not at all in fact quite the opposite i know without question that it's going to be so stinking great annabi an amazing thing what's waiting for has so much better than anything we ever dreamed and and um so i get fired up about that as good stuff ma'am we'll gary nailed it buddy next man am i you know what you guys i get on their check out the him a week in the name of that facebook page is a him a him a week and of course as h y m in hill a him a week get on their in joy am you'll love it in a follow along with that because you'll you'll be tremendously blessed by the good stuff always share it with your friends they'll be blessed as well so thank you guys for less than yet again to another episode of the jet prayed their show finally onto tour watch chat dot com in of course read the blog and we'll stirred up at political cowboy dot com you can find me on twitter you find me on instagram at watch chad and of course you can always subscribe to my youtube channel and pretty much if you just google chad pray there you'll see all kind of wild and woolly things out there in we will check back in with you guys again next week every thursday we're release in a new podcast episode of the new guest i want you to go leave a good review if you don't like it the.
"gary chapman" Discussed on The Chad Prather Show
"Uh really really really life altering story that we we should tell at some point charlotte after he died my wife in her infinite wisdom said you know that worked and there's more people so now we started this thing called a him a week yeah and uh we just set up a couple of cameras and i sit down and it's one take top to bottom guitar vocal not trying to be perfect not really trying to perform of in fact i try to stay out of the way uh i tell people you know song doesn't live hundreds and hundreds of years because it's week as echoes what has it life yeah it's got i mean the same holy spirit that inspired those songs still lives in them yeah and and they all came out of one or a combination of two things extreme joy an extreme pain and those things last and they're still valuable yeah i i'm not a giant fan of of modern christian music with some dramatic exceptions rather there's a few artis that i think are just brilliant uh modern worship music has always been a a problem for me honestly yes i agree i end in at the same time there's tons of it's great chair you just you just gotta fish through it pretty well for me the as i'm a snob music i don't have a choice i mean if you're going to get good at something over time uh you know you're going to get more refined and in what yeah does or does of low chair khotso i'm a tough crowd yeah and uh but there's there's some good stuff in there but but those songs the the songs that have lasted that long bitter still able to move people that's amazing yeah that's an amazing thing so it's turned into a global community they're sixty something thousand people on facebook that that uh look forward to these things yan and it's it's a really cool thing it's called him a week and it's an amazing community regard it literally religiously because it it's there to honor my mom and dad and yeah uh something you don't wanna do is dishonor my mom and dad yeah so if you get on there and you're a judgmental jerk and you want to golf and sets tangent you will be jettisoned into that this and and you're out of our life god bless.
"gary chapman" Discussed on The Chad Prather Show
"We're not allow me to own that uh i just didn't want to be a twotime loser saw a hung in there and bet but about six years into it i said listen i'm i'm killing you cheat in cheat aydin cheat noah did anything wrong but it was clearly not going to be a good thing for her longterm or me yeah and uh and so that you know when it's way and i was just nuggets asserted we're going to do that again and that worked until about six days into that trip and a new crop was coming in i was just sitting down on the dock and i see this girl to come literally bouncing down the the the dark she's five feet tall shoes nothing but energy uh just gorgeous but more than anything beyond happy just so crazy joyful yes he makes everybody laugh she makes everybody smile she's reminds me a me she's she's a lot like a lot lighter foot shorter just end up in better knowingly little little better probably yeah but but yes she's west virginia farm girl uh shoots as well as i do um uh just an amazing human just solid solid solid core great person in uh and wages we've really did fall in love we took a little bit you know because i just didn't a slight good grief you don't don't don't do that again dump please don't do that yeah but it just got to be unavoidable and that was ten years ago and she is she's at home this minute with uh for your old eve arose who we adopted uh four years ago brought her home from the hospital she is an amazing little human and gas he's just one of the better things that anybody have in their life now you just let accepting challenges ideas matter of i think you you did like going into the the interesting hard roads to take target i admire that i do but see that's why i think that that i bonded with you early on when you and i get to know each other in it because i was like here's a guy who doesn't want any thing doesn't you know what i'm saying you're not.
"gary chapman" Discussed on The Chad Prather Show
"I did and you're you merit again i did in this where i wanna get to because that's a phenomenal story we talk about anything in between you want to them but i want you to talk about how you met you wife because as you know that's a fun story we were at the term i was still do this production work done at long ago that the more things i claim to be able to do the more often i would eat a so so i do it if it involves your ears or your eyes i get it in and i can do that for you so had a production company we got hired to go down to uh the the the there's an island uh done in the exuma chain in the bahamas count horrible it's out horrible daniel stand key beautiful little place amazing amazing idyllic spot and we were hired to capture the making of the hooters calendar the bangs we find ourselves embroiled in afghan yeah a rough gig but honestly i'd made uh and there were i mean that that did keep uh uh probably 20 or 30 gorgeous girls there for a few days and then died ship those out in there be a new wave come in and and we did that for not a week ten days whenever with now and i made a promise to myself don't fraternize just done yet because this is this this could go south easily yeah and you're just not in a position to to do so i was i was only six months away uh give or take maybe eight months away from from my the second divorce nobody ever talks about yeah mulligan marriage i call it now i did exactly what you're not supposed to do i was the style was the poster boy for kneejerk bad divorce reaction right i literally married the first gorgeous blonde i met him and and she was a great girl and she stepped into a rat's nest and and about six months into it i knew i'd screwed up now and my pride.
"gary chapman" Discussed on The Chad Prather Show
"No uh amy came to me five years before we mary are we divorced and and just straight up i mean appreciate our honesty but it was just devastating she said i love you i'd give him a heart to another man and you're the worst mistake i've ever made mile and i wanted to force them and i just dug by heels such as i just said no now uh because you know we had three little kids um we were in oh mr mrs chris music at the time yet uh i knew that many many many many people we're going to be uh not only disillusioned devastated to some degree and i just said no and i did that for five years and finally honestly just gave up i just i breached the end yeah after years of council and managers and a christian leaders and people telling me hang in there this is just a face no it wasn't wasn't a face enough it was not yeah so uh i just i said okay yeah with wills will do what we got to do yeah and uh ed but that just killed me and at the time and it certainly know maliciousness on on enemies part or or vince is not that i'm aware for anybody listen obviously aiming grant is now married to vince gill yes some happily so heavily so and um but her record company probably her management pr his record company his management his pr uh there's just this wave there were stuff said about me that was just really horrible lands do in drugs again uh he's abusive you can go on the internet and find anything that you can yeah thin that's exactly what i'm saying you get vilify you can you can fund that yeah and i was such a mess at the time i didn't even really fight back i did too a few interviews and i was not dishonest i said hey this is not the way that that's coming down but nobody care because i i got literally freight trained by uh by a machine in that machine is driven by revenue and that's okay i get what's not okay but i do understand it now a fast forward let's fastforward a little bit because you you remarried again he remarried and you divorced yet again.
"gary chapman" Discussed on The Chad Prather Show
"Uh i called every friend that i had that i knew i had i had enjoyed that with our part taken with um and i told every one of them i said you know i love you but to the extent that our relationship is based on the acquisition of or the ingestion of cocaine new uh we're not gonna be able to be friends anymore m and i hope we also revive but i'm not naive no two two really survived two people well and but i mean that abut that old we it all gets rebuilt that old got his faithful in that i am today on overwhelmed with france number many of those came back over the decades scher because they saw their own light yeah it came to their own revelation sure that but uh but yeah yeah that was a that was a the bettered though the best worst day i've had was debt day yeah yeah yeah how how long were you guys married seventeen year together 17 years yeah and then and then you divorced of course that's always that's it's always interesting to me to see how people who are in the public limelight especially in the christian entertainment community how divorce is viewed that is sometimes people are like in a weird way it depends on aid some people are kind of seen as oh well they got out of a bad situation and god saved them from something or they're completely demonize their vilified for for having done that quote unpardonable san of divorce a n in those christian circles it's an unfortunate thing because i've seen some people who've who've gone through that in the public there in show business in in a thing but scenarios right in some folks just never it they never recover well i mean in in uh in that regard i never recovered yet was right not at all.
"gary chapman" Discussed on The Chad Prather Show
"User what did show business you know in those days what did it do to you personally marriage what it is due to a you know i know the stories in in oil obviously not begin a gory details but you said as you said it'll each you i'm okay with gore d'italia at this point every westfield up in its that's a beautiful story latham beautiful story of and that's why i say at the very beginning of the conversation grason redemption as a beautiful thing be in ah you know it but it they all that stuff in life it took he plays you don't want to go while i don't know maybe i did younger did may be a part of me wanted to really odd i um you know i was preachers could uh got a brother six years older than than me and a sister three years older they both live here will now have for years were all very close my brother was nuts he was crew razi is he he got to his palace license the day he turned sixteen like most kids get there right driver's license crop dusted totaled a couple of planes his nickname was crash still is while he did thirty years or so with southwest and now he heads up the flight department for wimps ah county sheriff's department he applause helicopters crazy man well in his high school years uh even bag then but certainly today he would go to prison for the stuff that he did he was crazy and and just wild just a while smalltown crazy guy and a preachers kids live and every one of them knows exactly what i'm saying their degrees of repression for every single preachers kid and and it all depends on how you handle it he did not handle it well he got mad about it and just said hell with it i'm going to be crazy yeah i watched what that did to my parents and chose to not do that to them uh so i was pent up and i decided because i didn't have any out.
"gary chapman" Discussed on The Chad Prather Show
"A lessons of life was that process there was two weeks before it took that job i was up in chicago some uh some uh fundraiser golf tournament thing gunning arne granite company called jam productions in a we'd done a bunch of tours with him back when aiming hour together so you know you you go to those things you've done a hundred of them you get paired up a somebody and yet in it takes a few whole see figure out who's hoon bryan watt so found out of one of the guys that i'm that i'm playing with is a huge entertainment lawyer specializing in a television show placement and syndication yeah and we were like on the second or third teebox that was already backed up so we're standing there waiting and uh he asked me what i did not see well i'm about to do this nightly talk variety show on one of viacom's channel blew a channel tnn he said oh yeah yano yandabyev them he said well something you should know you're about to get it into the second nastiest business on the planet such an encouragement politics his first yeah and a close secca is film and television and he said something that just it hit me so wrong and so hard he said you or your every single person that you meet in that world from the janitor to the head of the network every single one of them is going to walk one or a combination of three things money credit or power and at the time i thought man can you get more cynical is it possible that you could become more difficult to be around abyss is just such a horrible things say just such i just don't think blanket statements ever fit and dang it i was wrong.
"gary chapman" Discussed on The Chad Prather Show
"You go all the way that you are originally from de on texas young actually i was born in warri co oklahoma in okay k from the border clinging to the uterus wall rickenbaker momma you can make it and she did not so i was born in oklahoma uh we move to texas mmd was a preacher move to texas when i was six and i was there until i i left and came to nashville when i was ninety yeah came out here to make it yes came out here to be a star absolutely a musician when you came out here was it was yet your goal to be a christian artists or a a country artist didn't care did manner you just want to make it because i had grown up in church and that was really the majority of the things that i had been involved in it it probably felt like that's where i was headed yeah but initially that the first couple of jobs ahead were playing for established christian acts hill time first who was with a group called a downing zone if you remember them or not i don't and then the rambos yet dottie rambeau yep and i was with him for like a year and a half dottie really taught me how to write songseen murli she lit the fire and and kind of uh uh took me on her wing nia bring lady yeah so you come out here you doing your thing in all of a sudden this whole new world's open up to you write in you know year you the next thing you know you're you're in the business yar in the business and you're dealing with it it you've been in business now for i'm not gonna i'm not gonna call you out on it but you're old year old yet in it for a long time.
"gary chapman" Discussed on The Chad Prather Show
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"gary chapman" Discussed on The Chad Prather Show
"In my life and so i'm gonna let him do that a little bit here today and you're going to enjoy the conversation i want to encourage everybody come out find me on tour i'm going to be in portland oregon would really kicking off this starspangled banter comedy tour we had a great show couple of weeks ago we were in modesto calif sold out show 1300 people just arab just a rambunctious crowded modesto beautiful theater there the performing arts center in modesto and we had fun and so we're kicking the thing off would really get going on valentine's day february 14th portland oregon the tour will be there in and then following nine on the fifteenth we're gonna be in medford oregon and there were coming down to paradise california on the 16th of february and then we're off to the races we've got we got shows we've actually jit were adding now a third show for march forth a new broncos texas so so we've now sold out to we're adding a third show and i'll tell you what i love bennett i will say show is sold out i really do enjoy that that's that's the pinnacle of of what we do so go to watch chat dot com we've got a lot of dates coming up we're going to be bouncing around the southeast because i spent a lot of time in the midwest up north out west in this pacific northwest done a lot of shows in california but now we're bouncing around in my part of town we're going to be in north carolina were going to be virginia south carolina we've got some show's coming up in florida we got some show's coming up in atlanta in may as well as athens georgia at the home of the university of georgia bulldogs where i went to school so i'm excited play the historic georgia theater that's that's a big thrill for me so i'm excited to be there so i hope you guys will join me out on the road before we get to gary chapman here's some useful car tips you might not be aware of a pay attention because this is key a coffee filter a little bit of olive oil can clean the interior of your vehicle if you remove excess weight from.
"gary chapman" Discussed on The Chad Prather Show
"The chad breakthrough show is brought to you free today by true car when you're looking to buy a new or used car visit true car to enjoy a more confident car buying experience podcast one presents the chad aparicio your one stop shop for comedy craziness and common sense each week youtube star in voice of the every man chad breather brings his armchair philosophy and observational huber to the podcast world nothing is off limits and now for your host chad per either everybody woke up to a brand new episode of the chad printer show deliver to you by podcast one i am having a blast i really am i i say that week after week i can't tell you how fortunate i am to have and to be able to make the friends that i have in my life and some of them have a real unique opportunity to really be able to speak into my life i've i've opened up the door and said hey i give you permission to if i'm doing wrong correct me if if you know if there there's something i didn't you be doing differently do it tell me in it they do that and they also encourage me and one of them is my guest today gary chapman gary is a unique individual he's had a just a heck of a journey and i used to watch gerry on television years ago the nashville network you know he would host it was a it was a nighttime talk show with a lot of country stars on their lotta musicians and he would just have a good time with those guys and and bringing on and feature some great conversation with with some country stars an artist and he's a great musician himself and so there were fun performances on there and you folks who know me know that i'm a again a real affinity for country music but i was blessed and fortunate enough a while back to get to know gary personally and gary's journey is one of a rollercoaster he's been up and down he's been at the top the pinnacle of success in the world of music and he's also hit rockbottom numerous times several us of us have done that we have that in common in so kid i developed a great relationship and he's one of those guys it just has permission to speak.