20 Episode results for "Fifty Pounds"
An average oak tree can shed 550lbs of leaves.
"You told me a statistic. For the show about an oak tree that absolutely astounded me. Well. Yes and I don't know who figured it out if it doesn't surprise me a bit now, there was no definition to this, but it was stated that a great big, old, oak tree. When defoliants, it drops approximately five hundred and fifty pounds of leaves Oh now one no wonder. My back hurts when I write. Exactly right exactly. Right mark and it's one of those things. especially when they think of coke, I like to use oak as a mulching type of leaf because when when they dry and full. They they stay cupped up they stay arched up they don't they don't. Shall I say meltdown like many other tree leaves do and this gives me A. Factor. when I when I put him over a plants roots and so on where the air can move through its slows the freezing and thawing. But at the same time, they don't become a wet mess because well, for example, a wet mess having used leaves under mums can kill them over the course than later because they don't like wet feet anytime of year. So it's just one of those things What do you think a big old oak tree you could stay under no danger but in total, it'll drop five hundred pounds of leaves now. I watched something happened one time that is related to this. starlings landed in great big old tree as it is, and I mean a whole bunch of I was sitting where I was hunting and I sitting very still and I could watch this they all descended on this tree which didn't i. I couldn't see much difference. Then then something spooked them. And they all flew off at one time and and the limbs in that tree raised by A. To twelve inches from from the release of the load, the birds sitting in the tree and. That's that's just the darndest thing. But in this case, it's OK leaves. It is something that an engineer of somebody Maybe they needed to have more to do that day. But at the same time, it's interesting to think that there is that much weight of just leaf in a tree.
No Longer Hostile To God 2005
"The following program is sponsored by the National Prayer Chambal who who old and shape in your hand our hearts that we would no longer be ooh stole to God Almighty God yard this needs to happen in my heart and mm-hmm Today's sermon is prerecorded no longer Haas uh who hostile to you thank you Jesus Lord I just step back and ask you to step forward Lord would you speak the word tonight that you need to have spoken to our hearts thank you Jesus Hey man Jesus was absolutely exhausted he ooh Oh lord tonight would you deal with a heart of each person in this house would you change and mold in and teaching the people he'd been healing he'd been dealing with conflict with a pharisees he was nothing wakes Jesus up he's still on the cushion Asto St- he was exhausted beyond anything he never folk before and he said to his disciples come on let's get in the fishing boat let's cross the lake let's go to the other side Jesus needed a nap mm-hmm the flashing lights the desperate cries back and forth they give one another direction on how to handle the boat uh the water is all over him he's soaking wet the wind no doubt was blowing his hair he's sound asleep a storm blew up straight from the hand of the devil he thought now that Jesus is exhausted I can take him out lake all their lives they've never seen anything like it the thunder crashing of the waves and you see Jesus doesn't bother with the wind and the waves he's asleep but there is one thing that could wake Jesus up there's only one thing that could wake them up so he went to the back or to the stern of the boat and there were some cushions their Jesus lay down on those cushions and the general rowing of the stores the lapping of the water very quickly he was sound asleep does he rested shouting back and forth between each other getting directions from each other that put him to sleep even sounder yes thank you king of kings and Lord of Lords high praise you high prey on your mighty name some of you've been moaning and groaning and complaining how bad it is in yelling back and forth each other just put God to sleep warring him there's only one thing that will get God's attention and that is when his people begin to cry not getting what I want I'm mad gods asleep God's asleep and this storm with great ferocity blew down on that little lake the waves kicked up high the boat began to fill was gods asleep. Some of you've been playing victim look how my life is messed up look around now I hope you get this in your heart tonight at the beginning because you're going to need it by the time we get to the end never get what I want look how I'm being treated God's asleep none of that week's gotta it to him and say save us we're going to sink we're gonNA drown we need you that gets God's attention so he was wide awake I just have a sense in my heart tonight that some of you have desperate need they slash themselves they were bleeding and bill would not wake up just slept on but as soon as the cry came from the heart of the disciples lar- don't you care he was wide awake but when you need help bail goes to sleep but the Lord God of Heaven when you water the disciples are bailing they're trying to row the boat these are experienced watermen they've been on this Bill O. and by the way you need a little religion kicked in bail loves religious people me he'll be wide awake like that God hears us when we cry in desperate need there's nothing that will wake got upset so fast as desperate need here remember the prophets of bail they cried out in his answer his answer is marked the Fourth Chapter Verse Thirty Nine He in a sink he says I'm awake what do you need he's there for US oh up now I want you to get this. He doesn't continue laying on his cushion and so much noise he doesn't say look I'll check with you tomorrow hello and that's when his disciples begin to cry out to him and say master master don't you care if we drown and we have one of these balmy beautiful evenings sudden transformation in in the wind you don't stand up but believe me Jesus has sea legs he walks ah the wind and the waves and the lightning and the thunder that was music to his ears. See if you can make it till then God doesn't treat people that way instead God immediately and you hear what I'm saying on water that's his recreation you hear what I'm saying to you is God's recreation to d now I I suspect that it even warmed up he doesn't say are go wait you're bothering me he doesn't say be quiet I can't sleep when you're making and the disciples now are not afraid of the storm they're afraid of Jesus because they're saying what bill doesn't wake up when you need help bail only way except when you don't need help and things are going fine and you're making money and it's party time then do is come to the end of our self and begin to cry out to him and he'll answer US quiet be still and the wind died down and it was completely calm I can imagine the stars only thing they're awake got up his when you begin to cry Aloud to him and say Oh God I'm GonNa Drown if you don't wake up and save you begin to fear God is the one we fear not our circumstances L. says hey have some drugs have alcohol have some fun here have some lifestyle here's a new car you deserve it go borrow the money here's the deal we've been afraid of the wrong things it's not until we get that understanding and our soul that God is the one we knows a fear of God we've been afraid of the wrong thing we've been afraid of not having our way deal with what seems insurmountable to you what is utterly impossible to you is God's delight to deal with losing our house we've been afraid of all the wrong things we've been afraid of our own wicked hearts it's the fear of God that comes in our heart as we see his marvelous hand beginning to deliver us he got up rebuked the wind and said to the waves shoes into cry to him and you say Oh God my marriage Oh God my kids Oh God my health whatever it is you so God out to the Lord is because we are in our minds hostile toward him and which one of you in this house has not experienced the delivery of God uh picture for tonight found in Romans the eighth chapter and verse seven God Jesus God he got to his feet now if there's one thing you don't do in a boat when it's rocket you have experienced did it cause you to fear him and say we're gonNA drowned and with a sweep of his hand he steps in any changes everything even some of the we've been afraid of dying we've been afraid of losing money we've been afraid of losing our marriage we've been afraid manner of man is this who can suddenly with a sweep of his hand change every circumstance in our life our world now that being said let's go to the text of kind of man is this the even the wind and the waves obey him now listen you will not know anything about God until and it would bruise our pride to cry out to him and so we want to try and Romans eight chapter verse seven the Sinful Mind God right there beside us to help us many of us have been taught through the years that God is our co pilot is hostile to God the reason we don't you are options we want to take every opportunity to get it ourselves in this taking up your cross and following Jesus how do I die to myself this dying businesses oh painful it is so hard how do I die to myself look I know what I want ask the same question the question they have asked pastor I just don't understand I've seen this time after time as Jen and I've come before the Lord and we've cried out and we've said Oh God that hostility toward God that would attempt to use him to accomplish my purpose God your my servant I want you to take care of because we're hostile toward him for different people this week is that arrogant or what is that blasphemy against God you're in the back seat you're not even sitting up front with him so you can't slip your foot over and hit the gas business so that I can have my way what I don't think so the question is a very simple question but a very difficult question it's easy but it's hard it's easy because I can give you the intellectual answer but it's walking out it gets and so what results is a hidden sin our heart over to my lust and do my sin because God's not about helping me get what I want destroys my relationship with God and he was draws and he leaves me and he lets me be given off and the reason it's so difficult is because of this hostility that is in our heart to work God things we didn't want him to change he changes at all and he makes it look like his world instead now God can you help me get what I want if you can't help me get what I want what good are you commit to give him prominence to give him all authority and power over my life and if you don't get your way you don't want to deal with God but you now I spoke to you about you uncover your heart I have to come back and revisit this and ask as you have searched but we don't want God to be the driving place we want to be at the driving place and we want God I've got to tell you God will never be your co-pilot God will never sit in the seat beside i Uta help you God either is at the steering wheel or he's not in the car help us a little bit because we want what we want and there's hostility in our heart toward God because we can't have it our way some of you have decided in your hearts it's not going to do that he's called me too heart that says I WANNA have this my way no no let me make it even more strongly put have you found double mindedness have you found that you really want your way and if you don't help me you're not a god and I'll go find somebody else who helped me odd sound asleep he's just taking a snooze in your life the divine plan has already been put in place for the rescue of the World God is about rescuing a lost world he's the man or woman a boy or girl who is hostile toward God eternal damnation judgment so we have to find a way to deal with his hostility toward God it's not I want it is I will have my way and you got are going to help me God continue protecting you and covering you and blessing you you just don't want to deal with God is not about helping me live a comfortable life of worshipping the devil he says the sinful mind is hostile to God it does not pedal to get him to go faster or on the slide get your foot over and hit the brake and slow it down no no you're in the back seat buckled in you'll be consumed and be cast into a lake of fire that's the end heart have you uncovered your heart before God and as you have begun to uncover your heart what have you found in your heart not gonna come by not until it's time for judgment and then he'll pour the fire of judgment on you so let's be straight up there's no way I can go home to my house because you think you have a right to be mad because it's not gone your way and you've put submit to God's law nor can it do so and beat myself up enough that I will obey God and not be hostile toward him there's this is hostage toward God this hidden sin of because of this hostility in my life I wanna come and I wanna grab hold of the things of God and try to use them in order to accomplish my purposes end of themselves and they said I can't rescue myself I'm going to drown in this lake if God doesn't step in and do something you're just mad and right now you're just enjoying being mad instead of dealing psychologically with the anger and bitterness we've got to go to God and say Oh God I can't change this anger I can't change the way I can go home and feel guilty enough or sorry enough there are finally say Okay God I'm miserable enough art were suddenly the peace of God will begin to flow into your spirit and you will know that God has stepped in uh-huh I'll submit no it's not going to happen that way there has to be a change in your heart bitterness all I can do is come to you and say Oh God I'm GonNa Drown if you don't save me and God will do a work has to be a change see that's what the disciples discovered as they were in the boat that came to it is this regenerating work of the Holy Spirit that changes our hearts I simply bear test oni as I grew up I was bitter angry young man my heart was filled with rage I punched out out I didn't ask questions the first thing I did to start throwing fists I was an angry young man my brothers had beat me up had had needed me in such a manner all kinds of things going on in my family system and I was mad I can testify today in my life I'm GonNa Drown so when we begin to see the hostility in our heart we see the anger and the bitterness anybody I could get close to on the school yard I spent more time in the principal's office than on the playground because as soon as I got out there I'd punch somebody hello and I- bear testimony today that the peace of the Lord entered into my heart and I'm no longer an angry man but I it came to a point where I said Oh God I can't change this you're GonNa have to change it thank you Kevin that's not how God helps us because I still want some semblance semblance of normality in my life I've got it I'll do it but you see the hostility of my mind is so westernized and I'm so naturally filled with pride and arrogance God and say I can't live this way anymore and God stepped in and changed it that's not how God functions God is not interested in helping us lift the load would you need to have God's step in and change tonight in your heart that's the miracle of the blood of Jesus that's what he does for us this is what because when God's steps in and rescues us all normalcy and these fishermen no longer had any and piece enters our hard calmness enters our spirits is going to happen will you rescue me Oh God and he rescues us he wakes up he stands up he speaks that I still think I can use God to get what I want and I can use God as my servant allusion that they could have saved themselves they knew that if God had not stepped in they would be at the bottom and before where we were a raging lion who now a land and we say how's that possible our part is to come to him and say I can't do it I'm at the end you've got to save me if you don't save me this is what aw God stepped in Jesus did it batances repentance we come to God and we can't do it caught and he says I say Hey Kevin could you come give me a hand and together we're gonNA lift this heavy load so he gets one end of the bag and I get the other end of the nature cannot please God you however are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the their families would be without husbands or sons were fathers this was God's d bag and suddenly what was one hundred and fifty pounds is now manageable we pick the bag up and we throw it in the back of the pickup he gave me a helping hand I'm to live in you by lifting up your hands and saying I can't do it I surrender yes well my background that means I'm trying to pick up a load it's too heavy for me will oh God and then I come to a situation somebody says something you're in charge Holy Spirit take charge I give authority over my life you know what I pray every morning Holy Spirit this sinful mind that is hostile to God does not submit to God's law and it can't submit and those controlled by the sinful spirit if the spirit of God lives in you wow how does the spirit of God allow my hostility to be submitted to Jesus Christ if that now how do I deal with it if I cut their legs off that sharp retort fix something that riles me and cuts across I privileged life then I have a hostile mind toward God for I have refused to submit to the way of the cross submit I give up my hostility I bring it to you I'm no longer in charge hostile mind is submitted to Jesus Christ his piece fills my heart and our size authority over my life today because the Lord's prayer says it opens with our father which art in heaven hallowed ax somewhere because you're out in the front and you think you got the deal covered now some of you I hear say some very interesting things some of you say I need God to help me with it consultant you can't hire them on for a little trouble just give me some direction here Jesus I've got the Tiller I'm I'm on track Jesus I just need a little correction here every area that he speaks to my heart regarding the presence of God gross in my life the presence of God becomes revealed to me for many of you right now I fear Jesus is sleeping on the cushions back in the either God carries it or it's not carried either he steps in and does the whole deal or it's not going to get done moment by moment by moment the question is will I or will I not the lamp until my path I'm going to go straight ahead I'm going to submit to Jesus Christ I'm not going to submit to my hostile mind and now as I day by day step by step submit in that quick wit that humorous sword that jabs so cleverly on the cushion sleeping and sometimes you get mad at him because he's sleeping and you think you need a little direction change here longer afraid of man my course is clear before my feet the word of God rested will we open our mouth and compromise Jesus Ocean and I'll tell you this God can sleep longer than you can where am I going to submit to the way of the cross somebody's situation some of you are in work situations where you are being sorely tried a praise God honestly God brings us time after time into those places where there is absolutely no way out my name kingdom come they will be done I say Lord have VI- will come over Ray greenlees art and life today not my will your time after time he brings us into relationships where we are sorely to me and I say am I gonNa just taken out of hostility the way of joy or the way of suffering if you take a hostile mind your suffering will increase broken nece this destruction are you tired of this broken nece will you submit either he owns the whole deal and you've submitted it to him or he'll take his snooze on the Oh now tell you Jesus is sound asleep in the back Jesus doesn't appreciate being he's waiting for what you'll choose the way of peace joy and fear of God are right together they go hand in hand off when you see when you see God because of sin yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness now I'm standing right now were you continue to be hostile to me it says if anyone does not that's when he stood up that's when he spoke some of you are saying wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute pastor what's this joy business how'd you throw that in so easily joy if this doesn't change I'm going to die Oh that's where the disciples were if this dead will also give life to your mortal bodies to his spirit who lives in you and if you need I praise God it means he's waiting for the answer a trail of destruction until he comes once more to your life to Syria you're tired dorm doesn't stop a GonNa die if the waves don't settle if the wind hi but you still haven't suffered enough to be willing to turn away from your hostile mind you'll give it up I can tell you tonight the Lord move the joy is overwhelming and you begin to praise his glorious name some of you are in marriage situation some of you are in parents Jesus should I should I go a little more east here shouldn't we be heading a little bit more toward Purnea M- here should we shouldn't the boat or will we go straight ahead submitting and trusting to Jesus the whole situation we have an obligation verse twelve but it is not to the sinful I urge you tonight turn from your hostile mind toward God turn from your anger and your rebellion turn mm stop if the lightning doesn't stop flashing if the thunder doesn't stop terrorizing me I'm going to die if the boat doesn't stop filling with water side from the bitterness in the pride turn away from that and turn to Jesus and he will speak resurrection power into your life but if by the spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body you will live there it is what have the spirit of Christ he does not belong to Christ this is Romans eight verse ten but of Christ is in you your body is dead nature to live according to it for if you live according to the sinful nature you will die you think you can make the decisions you get mad when it doesn't go your way Jesus rebellion he will cast us out and we will die as he will warn us you are now getting hostile toward me don't do it he will begin to check our attitude walk in this submission Jesus begins to speak to US gently as we step into the have a hostile mind and if we do it is death and destruction that's when the release came some of you are some of your suffering tonight you think you're going to die life and death submit and live rebel die in verse eleven and if the spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you he who raised Christ from the to test our hearts to see whether we will take over or whether we will submit our hostility to God submitting to Jesus taking up my cross and following him they're the same ball of wax submit and live rebel and die it's as simple as that specific places of obedience that he's called us to the spirit of God begins to speak to us and when we begin to resist uh-huh in the submission to Jesus joy comes in seeing the supernatural work of God don't go that way that's the way of destruction and he will plead with us but he will not us but he will not suffer a hostile my submit to him when you get down on your face and you begin to pray uses will hear our cry but he will not tolerate a hostile mind if we choose to walk in now you choose are you going to keep your hostile mind toward God or are you going what rises up before you that blocks you from praying that's where you're hostile mind is loves you the Lord loves you was incredible overwhelming will you submit to Jesus Christ will you give up your hostile mind ooh ooh in New Year marriage into your job in your finances he'll speak resurrection power if he can take charge thank you mighty God for the work of grace that you're doing now in this house thank you lord and let him work his miracle of grace in your heart
MMP EP 38: WHO WANTS TO BE A BILLIONAIRE
"ANTEA and I'm getting into PODCASTS a hundred over here transparent system five zero ever that we have to do a lot of separation in order for our relationship to even start thriving to a point it really you just made me upset like black for one let's be we talk about it the team I think we think about that in terms of our relationship is well right because our personalized because you know we try to keep it in here like Super Christ because you've been following Jay Z. since you is like a super young right like middle school you know especially where where it has gotten how even we take us before like US deciding to move from us being very reasonable moving was to get away so we literally restoring we're not at the watchful eye of anyone we'll be in separated from beyond saying that in that matter and this has got us to thinking about how many a really good team like you guys in the middle school now we're but like junior right right right so for a long time and I guess once we I heard her the news Alexia businesses in you know after all now seem like relationship is in like the best place possible it's this hope you got so many investments like everywhere right Gotcha money catch hands in so many different pots which is crazy especially for his originally dope team you only get you to you know certain levels in especially in thinking about it and Micah marriage term to be like an NBA super successful articulate the same result exactly right you have to be ten times as good you know you think about the oprah's everybody Oprah look at their ages the two for two threes to work and we always lucky is right to kind of piggyback and you have to work ten to twenty times because it's hard to grow someone's holding you to some sort of ideal of what you should be or what you used to do or what you may be did when you're right I think I see somebody else compared to I like Jay z since he was twenty six currently four years like what Russian Chicago is synonymous violence and craziest people here that you that's the first thing they think about but for real for real you know something is always different go to move into a land whatever seven hundred miles away because we wanted to just wanted to us what to do you know what's funny about that when people here because l. was that you got other little billion news coming right so unless you intact it just takes some time unless you are Kylie but whatever no one that you have to separate sometime in wake elevate and get to the next level tradition we always would act like you know that that'd be like overnight he and overnight billion they'll be all up in the news they all up under bdo there we everywhere you know you don't hear anything that they don't we'll go eat wings and catfish and it's okay it'd be like you know fifty pounds overweight I mean why the hell are you out there. Jogging do race is so calculating which is is dealt with in the sense of other than that it's like super that can be family as well as France in if you are you don't change family just 'cause you move to a different Stadi- right so when those people come along we live there I mean come on it's not two million people getting killed right well we lived was really nice and makes keys tonight schools and everything like that are and sometimes as you've brought along family you as well you've had to realize some of those people at the inner circle go because just just you even over time I think we've seen some seeing like even a family is toxic or anything like that I mean 'cause we always get the beans about friends like you get to thinking about how like one of the most elite couples in Hollywood right and you hear anything about them the three years ago two years ago whatever that is and we just really wanted a blank slate at the barometer for you and where they feel like well you got career thank you Jason Camp you only see a certain amount of people about what marriage marriage is just a different dynamic me you can push me Oh and you know like I know right that's just not the case when people they may make office support right but everything you know I know how much career beheaded I knew where I want I want your kids to be doing over the summer like this to go to right I it sounds bad for that people always love well you know my mom was going to be here after my daddy going be here at this point in time get murky if you got laying a best friend from us it kid or if you do have like a a mother wants your involvement Father Assistant for that matter checks and balances because now our relationship is different as far as our marriage Wiggins got I I ed how we run our ship and it can be extremely hard to grow and thrive when I'm Mary so other than that is also just knowing that vulnerability in marriage is so deep so with those people who come in you think because all marriages are created right somebody may say yeah I'm Mary you're married but the way you do what you do is way different then next we're at war Galata day like how gloves that man it's just like knowing that having a good team in just because somebody is blood I mean that really mean that they can help you become a better version of yourself is that really me because right that you really close to Oh this is the one thousand nine hundred forty it's like now brush she's a woman she needs to take a back seat and I don't believe in that and because of that if these people are Mimi has that sound if that's a word this the truth in our relationship is sometimes I think that you may be around some people who don't necessarily share that same outlook when it comes to friends there's just an added measure of length the checks and balances that agent and know where you stand over here in sometimes I'm counting gives you can't mix so how kid people 'cause I guess we think about it say why I guess on to say right so she has is much footing as me but she will see a lot of MIA specifically thin mama shouldn't have to how dare he shouldn't have to Leo whatever it is for that person to come I is literally got Banyan Wabi and Dan children push me can you inspire me some sort of way that's not like a case of a lot of the time half the time so that's done without like really in close contact with you you can't bump heads with that which cabbages for days conflict in your life then it's crazy negatively really crazy until that happens in the future hopefully not we go me first and that's the way just in a healthy way she anyway what is the author of Vesta operations and in our relationship we literally put each other second to no one but guide and this cliche and quotable and I don't put my wife second to anyone and I want her to have a seat at the table or hurt happened opinion ratio balls Sushi it'd be awesome to she got why people do that stuff right back all of these ideals thing just committed suicide okay cool but then you find yourself sometimes somebody may be a little upset lesbians humid nature this feels good girl does your bed was perfect right and that was successful company and of course if something happened where unionise you will be breaking news right right let's share this and S. bad in ways to taxi people because you will find out sure enough people want potentially have a chippewa shoulder when it comes to those things because I'm one of those me I don't like to give us anything to talk about I don't like to be that person so the a copy of marriage even if it's unintentional year was crazy about that sometimes a lot of stuff goes on subconsciously I think a pass to talked about this at church a couple are opening up to someone and that third party they can come in the threatening you know they come in and they sit in you know slack text messages the father then everybody wants to say you know then we all of his black empowerment away but how we always say literally starts at home and so if you are a third party afterwards they don't understand those intimate moments that you have to get their understand that you know you you love skipping the game once you years ago where it's just like it's like h right I mean we out and right wing acute way we smoking cigars and raising kids and we invest in real estate together we emerging at one point of saying so you have to watch that come alive with those tax friendships wheel tax friendships tax families you know is always like as you see beyond hope family right seeing how Mama you see health hosted on the system of course in her cousin and it's not like it's a million when people around are they next door neighbors are they strangers at the starbucks now you know like I know it's causing is your Aunty is because when you see that you should be taking of Kimberly you should be thinking of Christian and kidding right the second with that means that a quote often we talk about toxic people in ridding ourselves from toxic people and we always laugh right like who are the toxic people are they coworker it literally like before it happens right I literally arm myself and say Okay I am not going to give you any feel about effect you're going to be tough you Rachel so literally it was me as a young man trying to do the right thing after seeing divorce and separations and domestic violence I'm saying okay is your daddy text messages because these those are people that's Closys team and the people closest to you they know you costly the say down the soulful Sosa was not enough that's us no doubt I was alkhast you'd like the South the south guest I keep searching keep searching I keep searching keep searching for a template known that's out there so I can model myself off of God's here you know what we need okay go ahead and talk to Old Veronica until you why I'll I'll let you a grown man and then the fan for waking up and do all those right time and time and time again even when no one's watching so a lot of the times we'll be the people closest to you because I think Ooh no I think that's the whole early oh I think it was like that on that quote that you that you show a couple of months ago it was like you see me out tuna something drunk at the clip I look like I'm about to sneak out the back though if you don't check me right in how do you not my friend entre percents what's going to become of of of them and so often rival we just have yes meet right they do the difference in some types of friendships we talked about toxicity whatever you had a friend who is around you always talking bad about they spouse I bet you are friends with somebody or you know y'all cool it I thought you always wanted lookout for them not to say that you gotTa tell me what to do you can come in for a minute you know those fragile parts bake by take with from Libyan a safe space he noted connect gin to Bella trade all in chain and I'm like wow like whoa and so consciously doing that purpose not that's you don't ever have a whole they went pulling say hey man just whispering things like maybe it's okay one drink you're not supposed to even though they might be oh everything that's going on mom insisted you know you've been working hard bro washing why she ain't no jobs and with that information people could use that against you I'm at the point of my life arm I thought it was cool to kind of like how friends that cosign your bullshit you know what I'm saying okay it's cool term Martha Handy I make swinging you can say hey you've at least say that at least hey like I may so how much you make I was you deal with nobody speeds to steal to be like this person and I wanted to say the least close to being which is like home breath my wife is not my friend right she is not that cool matter of fact whole time she really walks badly out your spouse they always driven a bunch of person you know because you have given that person's space that can be best friends she even Apple Alice she oh right because people only up with you because it can benefit them so hey hang out it's just like flips right this is hang out with these
Ep. 285: What's Really Holding You Back?
"Welcome to the run your day podcast a show dedicated to helping you expand your capacity take your life in every area to an entirely new level and creating a day at a life by design. Here's your host Dan Hafner Hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the run Your Day podcast as always your host Dan Hafner here creative the runway JAP and host of this podcast. Today's topic is this what's really holding you back as always I appreciate you all joining. Sit Back, relax and enjoy this episode. Art My friends. So this is actually a little bit of teaser episode. I should say I did a interview for another episode coming up here in the near future with the man by the name, of David Essel, so I would highly encourage you to. Keep your eyes and ears appealed to the run your day podcast future episodes here and there within the next week or two that episode will be dropping in it is it's awesome. It's a little bit longer We went for about forty five minutes I believe it was but man like that was value packed stuff and this is kind of what inspired me to come on and talk about this. this idea of what's holding you back, right. So those of you that have been following the show I apologize there hasn't been a show in the past four five days but once again, I was moving there was another. Up Rooting of the the Hafner, Kingdom Castle right and we had to move to a new house and everything. So. It's been it's been crazy that's been a lot of work but we're kind of getting settled in now there's still a lot of stuff everywhere but I'm taking you know a few minutes here to touch base with guys in and tell you a little bit about this so. During, this interview and I don't WanNa ruin the the stuff with as well. But we talked about this this piece of it a lot of stories in there right and we talked about this piece of. Why people tend to not be able to push through different barriers in your life like whatever area of your life it might be you might even be blind to something that you're not actually that that you have, but you don't actually see it right? You know he talked about people that are super ripped and shredded that just don't see their body as something. That's beautiful. Right whereas somebody that's fat overweight would see that body and be like, Oh, my God like that's beautiful. Right but those people have it they. They're so used to it. They're so. Engrossed. In something else in their life that they don't even recognize that they have a body that's beautiful in in in sculpted perfect right or maybe. Somebody has great children are a great marriage, but they don't appreciate it because it's just the norm. It's just always been that way. So to someone else looking from the outside in, that's in a crappy marriage has rebellious kids or whatever the case might be they. They get super jealous of that and they're like, wow, that's you don't even realize what you have. Right. I think that happens because we tend to see things. That were missing in our life. Right we tend to see the highlighted The highlighted. Things in other people that we lack within ourselves and in in the interview with David will go a little bit more into that but But then we talked about this really really interesting concept which I want to share more deeply with you guys. Today was this topic of what's holding you back right. So there was a lot of stories shared and I saw a common theme come up in all of these right and there's there's always this thing. This belief, this story. Whatever you WANNA call it. That holds people back from achieving something that they've always wanted to do right in and I'm I'm a case study number one inside of this right and Men. I really. WanNa. Talk about this. I don't really WanNa ruin the episode with David because I'm telling you. You've gotTA listen to it. It's going to be absolutely fantastic. But kind of in a nutshell, right? The power of belief is so strong within your subconscious mind that you will start to believe things without even realizing you believe them. Right. So if you if you never can truly program your brain to be fit in be healthy, you're never going to actually be healthy. So that's why you know people with New Year's resolutions and you people that go on weight loss diets. You know they're so short lived in the bulk. Right like by large, maybe you're someone that sticks with it, but they're so short-lived because you don't actually give them enough time to become solid perpetual habits in your life that actually 'cause real change within the subconscious mind of your brain. Now again, you guys should probably know by now if you've listened I'm not a psychologist I'm not accredited in this. I'm not anything like that. This is me talking from my own experience, right? But I think there's solid foundation and there's truth in this right because I've seen this in my life like I used to be someone that would just be like you know what I got a idea got inspiration from someone I'm going to implement that my life and then like three days later I'm like, wow, I don't WanNa do this anymore because I don't have the willpower to do it whether it was losing weight or doing a different thing in business or Or something in marriage or a relationships right and what was interesting was I would stick with something for like two to three days. I'd start to see some results with it or I wouldn't see results with inadequate. That'd be like. Well, that's not really working for me but what I wasn't realizing was that you know the the beliefs in the stories and the things that were running my life had taken. Root over years like. Almost the entire course of my life up to that point. So I like, how was I expecting to change things in several days? Right, like you can't fight like an army with three guys isn't going to be able to beat an army with thirty thousand guys right unless you like consumer here or something. So When it comes to this this change in the these things that hold you back right and this is kind of what? We talked about a little bit was you know when when you try to quote, run your day when you try to take charge of things when you try to create this life by design. It's actually not as hard as it seems when there's nothing holding you back, right? That's the biggest piece. Anyone can plan their day anyone can Change their focus can start focusing on the most important things that need to be done. That's not the hard part. The hard part is actually not carrying around those things that cause you pain that 'cause you stress that 'cause you anxiety because that's what gets in the way of you actually doing stuff. In win this clicked for me like it was like the biggest revelation I've ever had in my life, right? Because it's like caring or it's like trying to run a frigging marathon with like an hundred fifty pound sex of bricks on your back. Right that's what it is. That's what all of us do to some point in our in our daily life right we carry around the weight of maybe an abusive relationship in the past or we carry the weight around you know financial scarcity in our life or we were carry the weight around abuse that we've done to other people whether it's verbal or physical or dark things we've done right. And what that does and what you might not even realize is that. That stuff. Right. There is what's holding you back from having a bigger life for making more money from having better relationships in from being more spiritually connected. It's that stuff but the the crazy part about it is it's so uncomfortable to actually knowledge these things. Sometimes, it's so uncomfortable to go into your own recess of your own mind in find that. True. Thing that's holding you back that true obstacle that you need to overcome or forgive or work through. Because once you do that. It's like you're on mile thirteen of the of the marathon and you just drop that weight. Right, imagine how you feel after you just carried around and fifty pounds on your back for thirteen miles. And then you just drop it. Like even though you've just run thirteen miles, you probably beat you're tired. You're already feeling the weight of that. Like you just shed hundred and fifty pounds. You probably feel like frigging superman right. On this I can only imagine with you like I've never run of merrythought or married with a hundred fifty pounds back, but it's just the analogy I'm using right so. My question for you in my challenge for you. Now, this is this is a big one. So this is this is not something you can just do a day. This is not something that this is this is GonNa, be a process for you but my challenge for you is to sit down and think right like what what are the things that are holding me back Like. What area of my life and my am I not getting the results that I want to get? Is it inside of my money my business or is it inside of my relationship or my body or my health or spiritual connection and my parenting or whatever it might be like what area is our or are you trying to get big results? Make Real Change? Okay. And what's holding you back there right. Like what's holding you back? Is it a belief? You have about how you were raised? Is it a belief about how you believe kids should be raises a belief about how you believe a husband wife should act? Is it something that happened to you when you were little that made? You 'cause that causes belief that you have now thirty years later in your life. Right. In this like I said, this is not something you can just sit down and just figure out I'm promise you if you're willing to take the time. And just play the why game play the why game like I've talked about before right? Once, you get down to the root of this. It's just like pulling the roots of weeds out of the freaking garden right just polling and ripping them out in hurts and it's painful in it's not usually fun which is why no one does it. But if you can be in the minority of people that can do this, that can take the time I promise you that there is clarity there is power there is. Just certainty. Certainty that comes from this process that you will not find anywhere else. You do not need guru you do not need some crazy coaching material. You just need to do this for yourself. You need to go and go to war with yourself. Go to war with your heart with your own mind in figure this stuff out and it's a process. But the more I've done this the more I've seen other people do this the crazier the results I've seen inside of what actually is real In their lives and in my life. So. Figure out what's holding you back. Might take you a week might take like a month to just. Meditate go through these things at comb through this with a fine tooth comb. But I promise you. I promise you. My friends. It is well worth the effort because once you find that thing holding you back it's like shutting that weight. And you can just walk in run free and that is how you run your day my friends. That say you figure stuff out okay. So that is all I have for you. Today as I said, this is just a little bit of a teaser as to what we talked about with Mr David Essel. NAT episode is coming up here very shortly. Not sure when when the day when that will come out but be sure to keep your eyes and ears peeled for that because I promise you it is forty five minutes well spent there will be some great great nuggets for you guys take away from that one so. As always my friends that is all I have for you today head over to run your day PODCAST DOT com. If you actually scroll to the bottom of the homepage there, there's an awesome cool free gift have for you guys called the success habits workbook that you can download for free. It's like sixty pages of some awesome awesome content. So head over to run your day PODCAST DOT com today, scroll to the bottom opt into that you'll get that free tool for yourself and it is it is really really good for you guys I promise. That is all I have for you today my friends as always Dan, Hafner signing off make it a great rest of your day. Hey have you ever thought about joining a virtual run challenge as cove nineteen continues to upend our lives and change our life routines finding fresh ways to challenge yourself physically can be difficult I know I'm having trouble with that. It can also be pretty hard to connect with others and find accountability partners for the purpose of fitness as well. That's why we created run wage virtual challenges. Runway challenges are a new exciting way to stay physically active and maintain social distancing every. Challenge takes place one, hundred percent online, and you can compete against and engage with runners from all over the world. Best of all, they're the only virtual challenges out there which actually reward participants with real cash that means you have no excuse for staying inactive during this pandemic. So if you've been looking for fresh and interesting way to stay active and get your miles in, go to run wage. APP. Dot Com slash virtual challenges to join me in the diverse community of runners. Competing that's runway JAP dot com slash virtual challenges can't wait see there.
69. The Impact of Self-Discipline
"Welcome to the podcast more life with faith and Lois. I'm faith. And I'm Lois our podcast explores. Life's many transitions and inspire and Dont'a. Hi, lois. Definite for you happening, beautifully this, sunshine, and everything is blossoming and crocuses. I know aren't they gorgeous beautiful. It's just a beautiful time to be alive. Yes. As we transition into all sorts of things in our lives, and changes and easy. And sometimes we face it because we're thrown into it. And other times, we wait for that moment in time to say, I'm ready. Let's try this. And it is interesting how we are at different moments in our lives. Trying new things we are. And that makes life interesting. If we don't try new things if we don't step into the unknown. Life can get rather boring. And so what's really cool is today? We have the opportunity to explore a transition that most often leaves us in a better position than we were before. It's episode sixty nine transition the impact of self discipline. Wow. That brings a lot of bells. I bet for people who in you here. That terminology. I know and it could be a good Bill really loud gong. By the way, if you're enjoying our podcasts, we would love it. If you would share this with someone, and let us know what you think of the work that we're doing on any of our platforms, and you know, how to reach us on social media, and we would just love to hear from you. We always like to start kind of with the definition. So that you know, that we're working off of a couple of definitions and self discipline is defined as the ability to control one's feelings and overcome ones weaknesses the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it. Yeah. I like that the think we hear begin to hear the negative connotation though because it also saying about your weaknesses and we don't like to face our weaknesses, but we all have them in some capacity. I think we can change how we view that. Instead of seeing it as such a a terrible negative. See it as something that can become stronger. Self-discipline is also often described as the number one thing, you gotta. Do if you want to accomplish a goal like say, you're setting yourself up for a trip that you want to go to you have to have self disciplined to save money for that trip or to do some research or you want to climb a certain mountain. You have to have goals set inside with some self-discipline. It's also part and parcel with leading a healthy lifestyle and being happy. And all those things it's very interesting that it kind of ties together when we don't really think they all have this connection. And I think we're more self disciplined than we give ourselves credit for. Yes. You know, there's a lot of ways that we automatically are very self disciplined in doing the things we love to do. There you go, right? And so for someone might be very different for them. Like if you love planning for a trip, but somebody else hates plenty for a trip. Then you see that difference? But it's take self-discipline to plan for that trip. You said, yeah. So what comes up for you faith, when you think of the word self discipline in the past. It was always a negative. It was just like I don't discipline me. Because we hear it as some one is going to do something to you, even if it's you doing it. But it brings up some old things of you've done it wrong. This correct. I need to correct you. And so I'm going to discipline you or here, you need to do it this way, and you need to make sure you check all the boxes in doing it. So we feel confined we feel restricted we feel like it's insurmountable at times. But the reality about being self disciplined. I look at it more self-focused to be focused on what is he outcome that? You want to obtain and how do you move into that? And what is it going to take to move into that? So that you can achieve it. I'll give one quick example. I'm in a writing workshop, and I love to write. But I'm not I would never say that I am a writer. But then I'm having influencers saying, you do really have the ability to write and I'm going, oh, but I can't do this. And I can't do that. And I've let all that go to step into that doesn't make a writer. What makes a writer is the ability to express oneself in a way. And now the other is something I can learn. So how far do I want to go with it? And how much do I want to be disciplined to learn more to be better at writing? So it just keeps getting it. Expand expands like what you're doing? Yes. Yes. And that's how I've really learned finally to self-discipline, it's me becoming more conscious. Yes. Where before I saw. I self disciplined because I grew up in a very regimented household of what had to be done at what time, and there was a check in for absolutely everything. So I resented that. Because I felt like somebody was telling me how to do something. Now, I see it as the only path to having real success is the wrong word, but to achieving certain things because I'm awake. When I'm self disciplined. That's good. And I'm participating in life at a different level because I want this. You're exactly right. I'm very self discipline of the things I know I already want. But if I want something new, and I want to make a shift I have to use those same skills that I use for what I really liked to do. And maybe these new things will become something. I like to do as well. Right. Exactly. Like that the wake-up part. That's a really good way that you wake up to what do you want that outcome to be? And how do you want to move into it and step into it? And that's where self-discipline can come in. The others flipside though is not wanting to be self-disciplined changing baby's diaper. If you haven't never done it before. And you now have a child, and it's like, I don't wanna do this part of the child rearing. So there's a part of that comes out of sacrifice and out of love and out of care and say, you know, what I am doing this for another sometime self-discipline of caring for another or meeting. Those needs can't be more of a challenge. So self discipline is not always a pleasant thing. But it's always about the outcome. Very cool. We're going to dive into this a lot of fun. If you do Google self discipline and especially self discipline books. If you haven't you're going to be shocked at how much is out there. I mean, there are reams and reams of pages that have been written about this subject. And it's endless. It's everything from from willpower or today meditations to the science of self-discipline, maybe executing business plans exercises. There are no excuses. If you wanna book, in fact, that's title of what? I'm just saying some disciplined is huge in our culture today and some of that can fall into we wanna fix ourselves or fix other people in that may not be healthy. So we're not going to go there. But deep Patel has written this book called a paper, boys. Fable the eleven principles of success. And he points out something so cool when you have self discipline. No, one needs to tell you what to do the higher your degree of self control. The less time you have to debate whether to indulge in behaviors that are detrimental to your health. Great, isn't that great? It becomes natural. But you're awake and aware of it not on autopilot. I think self-disciplined takes us off that autopilot road and says, hey, what's going on? Where do you really wanna go? That's really good. Yeah. I agree with that. It's like we want to be able to open up the awareness of it. And and that it's comes from within becomes a part of us. It's a way that we begin to live our lives. So in episode sixty-nine, the impact of self we'd like to explore a few things that you might take into account if you are considering something that you would like to become more self disciplined about and maybe the first question, you can ask yourself is will what do you wanna do differently while for starters real simple as maybe do the opposite. Do the opposite of what isn't working and begin to look at that. And say why is this not working? Why can't I get up in the morning, and that's a big win for people as being self disciplined. When that alarm goes off. It's like what do you need to do differently to feel refreshed and ready to get up and to do that in the morning? You have to see what isn't working and then find ways of how can I make this work better for my life? So for years, I would get up at two thirty in the morning because I worked mornings and that just became what I had to do because of my job. Well, when I didn't have to do that anymore, and my shifts went to the afternoons, and then back to the mornings, I've never gotten back to having to get up that early again. And yet I started realizing that I was missing out on some cream time in the morning that I could be alone that I could function. So now how I've decided to treat. My mornings is I've set up calls that start at seven thirty. If I need to talk to somebody on the east coast are workout my husband, my we work. Out very early in the morning at six o'clock. We take the dogs for a walk at a certain time in the morning. So the only way that I could move myself to getting up earlier was to actually set up things that provided an impetus yet to do it. That's really good. Yeah. You found something to replace and to make it flow for you in a new way in your life. Yeah. I think there's this piece where people will say my clients oftentimes, we'll say to me. I just can't do it. And when I hear that I'm going. Okay. There's something missing here. So I will ask the question. What makes us so impossible to do and it usually has to do with the time of day? And sometimes that's when there's something really important to do. I will ask this question. What is your best time of day? And why find out their best time of day would that's when you need to do this. Because now you're giving the right place. So it's important enough. You give it the best time if your day so that it can happen. Yes. Maybe. Because I had been so highly functional in raise early morning hours that by dismissing that and saying, oh, I don't need that anymore. I realized after years of absence from that time that no I actually do function. Well at this time. That's why didn't so. So now it requires as we all know, the flip of then having to not stay up quite as late and record things that I can watch layer. If that's important, anyhow, that's one of the ways that I found what do I want to do differently to set up my life? So it works. Absolutely. Because if you fail at every time, and it doesn't work then you just won't you want to do it. Right. So the other part is to know your weaknesses, and you mentioned this early on faith because what's interesting is that we don't like to hear that word weaknesses and yet. Sometimes the reason we do a self discipline is because we're trying to overcome something. Exactly. So yeah. There will always be areas of weakness in all of us. But it doesn't mean we are weak. So we take that on as an identity. Well, then you're saying a weak person. Oh, absolutely. Not. There are always missing pieces or ways that we were taught to do certain things that have not given us the under girding of strength and good foundation to walk into growing and to build on. And so if that's lacking we need to put it in a weakness as just see it more as kind of a notice an alarm saying, hey, this is vulnerable. And so how can we undergird it with what will work better? How can we focus in on and saying, okay joined need more education. That would be one thing. Then you could excel I'm in a dead end job. What would you rather be doing? And to find out what are the passions in the streets. So we ask better questions of ourselves in life. So that the weaknesses become no longer a weakness, but we build in a new strength. That would now we begin to live our life from and what you're saying is that we're at middling ourselves where it is. Is that we want to have a shift or improve or get better at this or lose weight or get up earlier. Whatever your dilemma or thing is that you want to improve on sack because we all have something we can improve on or like we have a goal like my husband, and I have a goal to do a ride this summer in order to do this right in June. We have to get out on our bikes. So that is a new discipline that we're going to have to add to our schedule. If we want to make that a success. And so it's not like beating ourselves over the back, but we have to admit it. We really can't do that. Unless we add this into our Reggio Ugo. So you find out what's missing or what isn't working. Yes. And what can we replace that with very cool? So we're talking about self discipline, and one of the things that will be really helpful to you. If you do choose to take this step is to remove the temptations that would hold you back. I mean, some of us have social media that really Ping's on us with everything. And if we're trying to. Give ourselves a diet from social media then notifications. Maybe you could turn one off just one just one but start with that. It's hard to start cutting back on certain things if we leave a full table of that item right in front of oh without question. I mean, temptations going to be the thing that's going to constantly be talking to us. I come back. Come back. And so it's really hard to say, no, I won't. I mean, we are such suckers to go back to the familiar, and because the familiar is. We know it we understand it. We know how it works. Even if it's not good for us. We know how it works. And so we like to have that feeling of feel safe here. So it's amazing how Ol- behaviors things like that to change them. But as we've talked about before if you take the thirty days and focus in on it, you have now created a whole different. But whole new way of seeing it I think sometimes we think discipline is like for years or something like that. And it really isn't. It's it's like if you will do it for a period of time. It begins to be come apart of you. And you do your living differently, which is why setting goals so important when you're in the midst of this once you finally. Sided that you want to do something differently. You know, what your weaknesses you've admitted? It you've got cleared out some of the temptations. What is your goal and faith, you know, this with working with people and just in life. Why our goal so important because it's the outcome. And we all need to have an outcome. We all need to see that. Which is set before us that we're moving towards if we don't have that image. If we don't have that perspective. Then what we are in. We believe is forever. And we had that forever feeling like I'm stuck here. This is it. No, it's not. So the goal opens the horizon it opens up that avenue force to see. Oh, they're so much more. There's more to come. Okay. That's the goal. I want to move towards that that's beautiful. And that's just so important for us with whatever we're talking about. Because whatever you want to have an impact of self-discipline will be different from your neighbor or from your spouse or from your siblings because we all. Different needs like that. I've found in the middle of trying to track with something I'm trying to gain new pattern with to maintain my gratitude levels while I'm in it because the more thankful I am for the opportunity to be able to go out and train for this ride the less. I want to gain something else. It's like, okay, I'm focused on this right now, I've got a goal, and I'm so thankful that. I am moving in this that I'm healthy enough this week that I can participate in this. You know, recently, we had some friends who went skiing a couple, and they're very very strong skiers on day one the wife breaks her lake and just brakes relate coming down. And it's not a good break. So she comes in and she gets treated, and she has the cast on and she stays in the house, and he goes out the next day. He breaks his leg unday too. And they are avid athletes, and they are both now walking around with crutches and having to use the thing that you put your knee up. I mean, it is just hang it's changed their entire lives which never happened before. So I sit there when I'm on. I bike and I'm just thankful yet. This hasn't happened because it could and so just being grateful as you're moving towards your goals as to what you can do in that space. Now, I will tell you how self-disciplined they are on the road to recovery. It's remarkable to watch. But it gave me a real moment that us don't know. And it's bad enough that it would happen just to you. But then it happens to your partner as well. Oh my goodness. So I'm very very thankful. Gratitude is a wonderful way to keep you motivated to because if we can get off of the fixation that everything is dark and heavy and negative because we're doing some self discipline of change and be grateful for yet. I'm making some changes. But what is really good? So let's take dieting for instance, if you are changing what you eat. You can also take that walk and say, but I can take my little bag of nuts with me, and I can take this walk and enjoy this. So now, there's a gratitude that goes beyond what you are being self disciplined in to make a change in your behavior. Part of what helps me is a focus on others while I'm in the middle of the self-discipline to because I know the ripple effect will actually pour down on people that I'm around because if I'm taking care of myself in the morning and doing this. I'm just going to be happier. When I see you. I've already done a several things. I am energized. And ready to go versus versing. I mean, I can tell the energy level has changed. And I'm not doing it for you. But it will affect you an impact you and other people, you know, you may be doing something with your education, you mentioned that and that may change the lives of your children because of the new job, you could get or the example that you set for them, and you don't do it for them. But they watch what you do. So when we take our eyes off of ourselves completely as to why we're doing this will realize that we actually impact others in the midst of the transition on self-discipline. Yes. One thing I would like to also add to that is when you are moving into changing behavior, and you're being self disciplined about it. Be sure you take care of yourself because you're not getting enough rest. You're not drinking water. If you're not eating properly, if you're not engaging socially, and those kind of things if you become a wait, you're not going to keep doing it. Right. So be sure you do a lot of self care during that time. Excellent. And. Forgive yourself and move forward because there's no doubt there's going to be a mess up. That's just life and that actually will help you find tune. You want to do because it was like that did more I'm going to try some right? And when we do miss up there may be a deeper message trying to be heard, and so listen to it, especially if you hear the message, you know, what I don't care. I I'm just going to do this. Anyway, listen to that message because not caring in that moment is saying I need something else. And I wanna go back to it. Feels better in that moment for self comfort, or whatever it might be. We don't do enough self reflection when we are moving into a transition of self discipline. A lot of things are going to come up, and that's an opportunity to hear them and to advance emotionally spiritually mentally out become a more. Who you really are. We talked so much about learning from every situation, and we learn so much when we attempt something new and then we fail, and then we go, okay. How can I do this just a little differently? So this next time we'll be better we can say I don't care, and I'm going to walk away from it. But if you choose to get back in the game, which we hope you will that is one way to look at it and say, okay, maybe I need to go to bed by ten o'clock. If I'm going to get up at six, I can't do it otherwise. And I don't know what that looks like for you. But we just encourage you to get back in it when you can find tune fine. Tune it excellent. And finally, get support. You don't have to do this alone. And make sure it support that's safe support. And. Yeah, right by all means don't go to some. Why can't believe you messed up? You don't need that you need someone say, that's good. Look what you've already done, and you want to have people who will encourage you and support you along the way and do it with trusted friends or a therapist or a spiritual director somebody that you really trust and feel good with and let them walk this time with you at least in the beginning. Right. Because you know, it's often so helpful to. To share with somebody. You're going to do somebody. I'm not big into the word accountability years ago. It kind of stung me. And yet today is we're talking about self discipline. It's really. And so if you can find someone that you share this with or the mount it to then you're like, oh, yeah. I'm doing this. And not secret. It's there you go just going to say that it's not a secret. Like, you're not doing it all on your own. And I'm gonna keep this hidden until I've I've lost fifty pounds. I'm going to tell anybody while. That's just silly. I mean kids some support and encouragement along the way and then each of those little milestones along the way toward your goal ourselves. Tori times that is so cool. Thank you for this journey with us on this topic. You know, there are so many ways to move toward a transition of self-discipline consider why you want the things in life you do. And when you reasons are strong enough, you're probably ready to transition making a decision to include self discipline in your life is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself building self-discipline can help in all areas of your life. So please share this podcast with someone you know, who might be in a transition to an area of. Self-discipline in their lives and join us next week for transition. The impact of shame. Get the latest news on our social media platforms and on our website, and please subscribe more live with faith, and Lois is a podcast to support encourage and uplift you as you transition through all sorts of change, we want you to know there is more to life. We'll be back next week.
Essential Oils vs. Fixed Oils
"Plant path your Window World of herbal. Would say Japan founder of the school of herbalism. Everybody says you pop them here founder of the school of herbalism. And today, I wanna talk with you about the difference between essential oils and infused oils, you know, in modern day herbalism essential oils are becoming increasingly more and more popular. We're seeing a lot of really big companies out there mass manufacturing all these essential oils. And a lot of them are being promoted a lot for topical usage, but also for internal usage and one thing that we're seeing with the increasing popularity of the essential oil industry is an overlooking of kind of the more traditional way of preparing herbs with oil and that's through infused oils. So really the main difference that we see between an essential oil and infused oil is at an essential oil is prepared through distilling the fresh plant material to just extr. Cracked the volatile portions of the plant and typically most plants that contain essential oils have very small amounts of them. So you can be distilling ten twenty fifty pounds of plant material and get you know, maybe an ounce or two depending on the plant of those essential oils, very small yield and really from the Al chemical perspective. These essential oils of plants or what we call the Sofer of the plant or the soul of the plant, and this is one of the three core philosophical principles that we see in plants the sulfur the mercury and the salt, so really from the chemical understanding of plant the essential oil is really considered one third of the medicinal property of the plant and the thing about the essential oils of plant is that really for most of us home herbalists, we can't really prepare those our selves, they require more involved. You know distillation? Equipment, and it's a little bit more complicated to prepare your own home essential oils. But the infused oils are much more readily accessible for all herbalist to prepare and the main difference between an essential oil and infused oil is that with an infused oil, you're taking that plant material, and you're extracting it in a carrier oil such as all of oil or a Hobo oil, and what we see with those infused oils is that we're actually drawing off a much broader spectrum of the plants biochemical profile than just an essential oil. And what we see with the infused oils is that not only are you getting a broader spectrum of the plants chemistry. But you're also able to extract plants that actually you can't really distill into an essential oil. I mean, two of our most popularly extracted oils into carrier oils or. Things like Colangelo and plan tain, right? These are not plants that you can distill and get these essential oils out of. But when you prepare it as an infused oil, they have this incredibly profound healing benefit. And what we see with those infused oils is that they can be used both topically as well as internally much more safely than essential oils because essential oils are so incredibly concentrated actually a lot of them can be pretty unsafe for internal use. And I know this is the big area of controversy in modern herbal medicine. But what we see with those infused oils is that they have a broader spectrum of medicinal potency than just those pure distilled essential oils, and one of the practices that we see adopted from the vedic tradition who really has pretty fine tuned system of oil extraction of herbs is the practice of. Yanga in up young is kind of a topical oil massage used with verbally infused oils and the health benefits of administering herbs in this way is incredibly far reaching not just topically for sore muscles or wounds or things like that. But actually, the the medicinal properties of these herbs penetrate through the skin get into the bloodstream and have systemic effects, and this is incredibly important, especially for what in Iran, they refer to as Bata related conditions typically dryness tension, nervousness, anxiety things like that that what we see in Vegas. They say when our Wata Doshi becomes imbalance, and we get that dry condition in the body in oftentimes affects the nervous system. And this is because the nerves are all coded in oils and fats. Right. It's that's. What a lousy the electrical conductivity of the neurons to be affective. And when those oils become deficient oftentimes of the nervous system can become impaired. It's really common for when people think of dryness to just think in terms of water hydration, but we often don't think in terms of oil hydration. And that hydrogen of oils is critically important for optimal functioning of the nerves. A lot of our hormones are actually conducted through the system through oils. Right. I mean, a lot of our adrenal hormones androgen hormones all require an oily medium in order to be affectively transported through the body. And what we see is that through topical administration of these infused oils helps to balance that excess vodka condition in the body. A lot of people that suffer from things like insomnia or nervousness and things like that often is really focus on you know, said. Nerve ING calming type herbal medicines. But actually just through the application of oil 's can be incredibly beneficial for these Bata related imbalances. So really the therapeutic application of these infused oils is incredibly far reaching in their scope in ways that essential oils on their own really can't achieve and so one of the cool things about this is that EV anyone can prepare an infused oil at home, right? If you've got some plants, and you got a jar olive oil in your kitchen, you can prepare these infused oils for yourself in a way that is much more approachable then have to get all this fancy disinflation equipment to prepare essential oils at home. So I just wanted to take some time to talk about that difference. We get this question. A lot of like what's the difference between an essential oil and infused oil? So I just wanted to shoot this video real quick. Sharing with you. What some of those differences are and how you can start to incorporate infused oils into your home medicine making practice and really having your apothecary stocked up with some of these very potent. Herbal medicines that have a very broad spectrum reaching of fair -peutic application, so thanks so much for tuning in with me. If you're watching this anywhere, but the evolutionary herbalism blog be sure to head on over to herbalism dot com and check out the free content that we've got over there. If you're not subscribe to our podcast sure to check it out on itunes or Stitcher, the plant path and thanks so much for tune into this episode and until next time take care and be wrong. So much for tuning into the plant for boy free training on herbal medicine, medical and the wisdom of nature. Sure. To on over to our blog at evolutionary level. And. L next time take care.
Episode 9: Start Where You Are (Gymchiridion 3)
"Hello, I'm Cory Samuelson, and this is the FIT STOIC podcast episode nine start where you are welcome to the. podcast where we focused on developing our STOIC strength through exercise, so we can operate the excellence in every part of our lives. Building strength beyond the Jin. Okay thanks for tuning in today. So once again I'm going to be reading from the gym covered in the book. That I wrote if. You're interested in getting a free copy of that. Just go to Jim. MANUAL DOT COM. This is chapter three. This is a really short one, so it's GonNa. Be a quick one today. It's called. Start where you are. Start small within your ability and grow in strength. You can only do that of which you are capable. It is undoubtedly more than you imagine at the moment, but you cannot act beyond what you imagine is possible. So except where you believe yourself to be an start there. If you can only lift fifty pounds for ten Reps. That's what you lift. You can't lift more than you can lift. But Bhai training your mind and conditioning your body consistently over time you will build the capacity to lift more than fifty pounds for ten Reps. With steady effort. And fate permitting, you will become stronger. So. That is a quick one today. Starting is something that we do every step of the way. Sure we've all heard the proper journey. One Thousand Miles begins with a single step. The thing is that as soon as you take that step? You're at the beginning of the new journey, although it's one step short. Three four or five days from now you're at a new starting point in his the new start of the journey, and whatever distance that is that starts with a single step as well. So it doesn't matter how far along you are in your journey. You're always looking at that new starting point and you always have to start where you are. Always going to be simple, obvious direct action, you can take to move again that one step forward in the direction that you want to travel. Sometimes, what people do is they are in that starting position. They're looking at where they are. They're looking at where they need to be. And they start to imagine obstacles they start to imagine. Hurdles? They start to imagine opportunities. Even they start to basically take that journey. But entirely mentally without actually doing anything physically. The challenge is to plan. But then to act. Starting where you are means. You have to actually do something physically. It's one thing to get all your ducks in a row in to. Sit there and think of I need to do this in I need to do that and this is where I'm going to do this. The thing is. Our plans are never going to work out the way we have planned. That engagement with reality is always going to change the circumstances, and then the plan goes out the window. I don't remember who said it, but basically. A plan is useless. Is the way that this I think it was? The president may be general, but anyway the saying goes. A plan is useless. But planning is indispensable. And it's just putting ourselves mentally into that state of here. I go. The important thing is to actually take that step. Starting where we are means that we will grow in strength I, like to say improve as you move. Asimov not improved before you move. That's what a lot of people myself included I'm working on this all the time. We tried to think ourselves to a position. That's even further along than we are. I have thought myself out of many a grand plan because I was trying to think three steps four steps fifty in steps ahead, instead of just dealing with what is right in front of me. The great thing of physical exercise is just like I read to you right at the beginning of the chapter. You can't lift more than you can lift. It is a hard concrete reality that we deal with. When we're dealing with their own body with the resistance that we're trying to move whether term, body, weight or A barbell or dumbbell kettle whatever it is. We can't move more than we can move. The challenges to take that mentality. INTO ACCEPT IT in other areas of our lives. So if you're thinking about increasing your income. What can you do right now? You have to start where you are nowhere. You're nowhere you're going. But trying to think your way to where you're going without actually doing anything. Doesn't usually work so much better to look that first step. What is take that step? Naive learn something. You become more informed as you go in. That's much better. Quick one today. I wanted to keep it short. If you are interested in getting the gym Korean member. You can go to Jim Manual. Dot Com all one word. The link is in the shots. All Right? That's it for today. I appreciate you listening to the fish store podcast today. If, you like what you heard. Share with someone you believe might like it to. Later. This is corey. Whatever your task. Operate with excellence.
Learning to Self-Assess | 140
"You are listening to. How does she do it? Episode one forty. Welcome to the ride. Thank you for joining me for another episode of? How does she do it? My name is tiffany and I'm your host and through this podcast and my coaching. I help you own your story. Live fueled by faith, an elevator impact in your career, and in your calling it. This is your first time listening. Welcome it. This is your third, fourth, fifth or one hundred and fortieth time listening welcome back. We are happy to have you. The show notes for this week's episode will be available at. Has She do podcast Dot Com? If you want to connect with me on social, I am active south. That's tiff with two FS. On instagram and twitter, and if you are listening to this episode, and not operating a motor vehicle or doing anything that would put you in harm's way. Take a screen shot of this episode and Tag me posted in your stories. Tag Me at tiff south and I will share it to mind, and if you want to join the email list, you should text. How does she do it? As one word to three, three, seven, seven seven again, that's text. How does she do it? As one word to three, three, seven, seven seven, and you will be added to the list, and now let's get into this week's just my thoughts. Just my thoughts is the segment of the show where I share my reviews, recommendations or rejections and this week I'm going to do something that I don't think I've ever done in all of these episodes. I'm asking you to share something that you are reviewing something that you are recommending or something that you are rejecting. Send me an email tiffany at how does she do a podcast? Dot Com or send me a message on Instagram at South Tiffany to fs. And I will share your review. Recommendation or rejection here on the show and I'm excited actually because you know, we are reading collectively. A lot of books were listening to a lot of podcast. We are trying new things. We are supporting new businesses, and this could be a cool way to kind of crowd source some information that we can all benefit from so again. Send me a message on Instagram at tiff South tiff with two fs or shoot me an email tiffany at how does she do podcast dot com, and that my friends concludes this week's just my thoughts. Back in episode, one twenty, nine and one thirty I, talked about self awareness, and some things that we. have to work to become self aware about for ourselves, so some of the things that I mentioned were knowing your value knowing who you are in Christ, knowing your strengths in your natural talents, knowing you're blind spots, and why you shouldn't rely on them for success, knowing what you want, which is talking about your goals, aligning your desires with the will of God those kinds of things, and I encourage you to go back and listen to those episodes. It was a two part episode and what I want to talk about. Today is kind of extending that conversation to talk about. Self assessing and how you go about becoming aware of who you are, what your values are, what your goals are, and those kinds of things and. This is. About self assessing and what it means to increase in your self awareness, increasing yourself knowledge and the internal work that has to be done in order for that to come about and as we go forward. This is all a part of my philosophy as a career coach is that? Your career is one aspect of you. Show up as a whole person, and if you are not fulfilled, or if you have a number of holes in the way that you show up. As a whole person, then your career can never really be a satisfying as you hope it to be. It can never be a satisfying as you strive for it to be because you are lacking fulfillment in foundational areas of your life, and so when I do work with clients. When we talk about confidence, we're not talking confidence in your resume, but really building. Building up who you are in your understanding of who you are as a person so that when you're looking at your resume, you have more of you have a deeper belief in a deeper understanding in the experience that you have in the whole person that shows up to your work to your career to your passions, and those kinds of things and so when? Talking about self, assessing and talking Abou how the work that you have to do to self assess, I want to kind of re state, a definition of working definition that I have for self awareness, and it is the ability to see oneself, clearly the will and skill to understand who you are, how others see us and how we fit into the world, and this is the definition that comes from Dr Tasha uric who does a lot of work around self awareness. and. In I, in in my working with clients, we talk about internal self awareness that seeing yourself clearly your values, your passions, your aspirations, your ideals patterns, what might be triggering or activating is a word that I've heard people using recently, and then there's external self-awareness how people see you and my belief is that? Your level of self awareness is one of the most important keys to success. It's not and that's not because your self awareness will get you a tangible achievement per se, but it's because your level of self awareness can help you understand how to navigate the spaces that you are in such that they are advantageous to the way that you want to pursue certain types of achievement or certain types of experiences or to showing up a certain kind of way and when. When you know yourself when you know what drives you when you know, what makes you light up when you know what excites you when you know what pushes your buttons? When you know how other people see you, you can navigate and adjust accordingly, or you can stand flat, footed ten toes to the ground in whatever and who you show up as but if you are not aware. If you don't have that self knowledge, and if you don't know how to do the work of this self assessment, then you're going to be missing some aspects of I. Think what are really crucial pieces of our of our growth in our development and again and I wanNA. Say this. I want to make sure that I say this. This is a process. This is not a thing that you do today. And then you see results on Monday right? It is a lifelong work. There are I think some people who tend to. Be More self reflective who tend to have a bit of a better understanding of how to hold up the merits of themselves, but this is a muscle that you can work that you can develop. And I think it starts with. Being able to. Really. Pause and think about your thinking. I Talk I mentioned this on many episodes, the process of being able to say okay wait. What is happening here and this is a skill that I honestly have been. And sharpening in the last several months I've been going going through my process with my therapist and really being able to understand not even. Understand what my thoughts are, but then develop a way to work through them such that I have a certain result or a certain outcome on the other side of those thoughts so. Today I WANNA. Share some of the things that you can do to begin to develop this muscle to begin to develop this intention of increasing your awareness and recognizing again that this is a process. This is in the same way you wouldn't go to a gym and expect to be able to dead lift two hundred and fifty pounds. If you've never done it before and. The same way you wouldn't you know. Try to run eight miles when you only run to. This is the same way that this is something that you can build up to and the fact that you are even listening to this podcast means. That you already have a practice of of caring about your growth. You have a practice of thinking about where you are of assessing what you are dealing with, and so what I hope to be able to do is give you some additional perspective to help you sharpen the tools that you already have in your tool kit so in thinking about self assessing and. Increasing your self awareness. The first thing you have to be able to do is be real. You have to be real with yourself about the challenges. You are having and where you want to improve. This is just really about acknowledging and two proverbs that come to mind when. Thinking about being real thinking about acknowledging one is proverbs, ten nine, that reads whoever walks in integrity walked securely, but he who makes his way crooked will be found out. And when I read that and thinking about being real. Being real is walking an integrity. That means when you're walking integrity, even when which you know might not be something that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. You are walking securely because it's knowledge that you have, but if you're walking in a slick way if you're pretending that, you are one way when you know, you're some other way, then you being crooked, and you will get called out because we know if it hasn't happened new personally, we know somebody who has happened to personally where they were not being real, and they were being intentionally deceptive, or they were even being deceptive, not in the sense of. Trying to hurt other people, but being just lying to themselves, and I have lied to myself in certain seasons of my life, and that doesn't doesn't do you any good. Because you know the truth or eventually the truth will come out right, so that's proverbs, ten nine and another verse is Proverbs Twelve nineteen truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is, but for a moment when you can get real about yourself and let me be clear, being real with yourself and or being real with other people is not about being harsh is not about being unkind. Is Not that brand of realness that is I get to say whatever I want to say. However I want to say it to whoever I want to say to whenever I want to say, that's not what I'm talking about. Because even that tone taking that type of tone with yourself is harmful I'm talking about compassionate on. With yourself about who you are, and how you show up, and about some of the stuff that stinks in some of the smells like roses about your personality, or about your demeanor about your disposition, and when you can be real, then you can begin to say okay now I can call it out so now I can do something about it now I can address it, or you can choose to leave it alone, but you at least have the knowledge, and now you give yourself the option so being real as very critical to self assessing and increasing your self awareness. The, second thing that's important to increasing your your self awareness, and as a tool for self assessment is being still. You have to be still. You have to make time to get quiet for yourself. and. This is very very hard to do. When all of the life is happening, when all of the things are calling on your energy, when in certain seasons, you are taking care of your own family. Care of extended family. You may be caring for parents. You may be worrying about your job. You may be wearing. All of the things because life doesn't stop running life keeps going in the middle of pandemic in the middle of you know civil unrest in the middle of quarantine in the middle of physical distancing in the middle of spiking cove nineteen numbers. All of those things life steep still keeps happening. And even as life still keeps happening. You have to be intentional about making time to get quiet. And in making time to get quiet, you give yourself an opportunity to. Open up the line of communication between you and God. You give yourself an opportunity to hear your thoughts. You give yourself an opportunity to ask yourself. What is happening and not in a way that is condemning, but in a way that is. Just to seek understanding and I have been walking through a prayer journal. And it's has it comes with prayer prompts, and it's almost like an in thinking about some of the some of the prayer prompts. It's like posing a question and then just sitting quietly. And for what comes up listening for a prompting from in your spirit. Trying to figure out what? Thoughts to make sense of whatever thoughts that might have been racing, but just giving yourself time to be still and not. Telling yourself that you're GONNA. Give yourself time, but actually like sometimes it even require as blocking it out on your calendar. I've talked about in previous episodes. One of the things that people that they say is that. When there is something that you want to do for you especially, when you have the demands of family of work, all of the things that doing it at the start of your day. At the earliest part of your day. Means there's less likely. That, you're less likely to be interrupted because no one is up yet. Right known a student emails, or if you if they are, you can justify not responding to an email at five thirty in the morning. Now this might mean that you have to make an adjustment to your sleep schedule. It might mean that you may have to make an adjustment to the way that you prepare to go to bed the night before so that you can give yourself more time, but if it means having to do something intentional to make space. Space for yourself in a new way to be still before your own thoughts with your own thoughts and before God. Then that is that is a sacrifice worth making so I encourage you to consider how being still can help you in self assessing and can help you in self awareness again in asking the question making time to get to get quiet in whatever might come up is not about admonishing. It's about finding. It's about bringing it to the surface. It's about seeing it and then being able to do something about it. The third thing that you can do to help. Yourself, self assess is to be curious. Be Curious about your own experiences and emotions past and present, not critical. Notice observe ask questions. Just be curious and when you are curious. And not accusing when you're curious and trying to understand as opposed to critique when you're curious and just trying to learn more information, it can soften your own disposition toward yourself. Research says and the number goes is is all over the place about how many thoughts people actually have on average every single day and I've seen numbers as high as ninety thousand there, and no one can seem to find the original source of whatever this of whatever this this this idea was. The point is we have a lot of thoughts every single day. And many of them. Are? Not Positive many of them are negative. Thoughts directed toward ourselves, and so in thinking about being curious, you can help flip. What was a negative or accusatory thought directed at yourself. You can just say well wait. Why did I think that way? Why did what just happened? Why do I feel that way? Why am I having this reaction right now and not like. Why are you having this reaction right now, but just like but like what's going on right? Right now like let me relax and I'm telling you even some even doing this out loud I have caught myself doing this out. Loud especially I'm you know working in my home? There's no one else here when I feel myself having this very very strong reaction to spore example something that came up in my inbox and I'm like wait. Why why are you? Why are you doing that right now? Is this reaction truly? What's necessary in this moment? And the answer is no. Most of the time, sometimes it is, and sometimes you know you give yourself a little grace, and let you let yourself be angry in a moment, but be mindful of of how that how that carries on right, but that goes back to this is the power of a building this muscle it goes back to being able to understand yourself and know that this type of thing is going to trigger this type of reaction in me, and so what can I? I do to get ahead of that or to brace for it as it happens so that I don't allow myself to get dragged down this long rabbit hole of negative thoughts or bad attitude or having one experience ruined my entire day. All those kinds of things so be curious about your thoughts. Be Curious about your experiences and your emotions, and asking yourself the questions, and sometimes you don't. That questioned the answers. The question is not gonNA. Come right away. But. It's important. It's an important practice to begin to to develop curiosity with yourself and your own experiences. And the fourth and final thing in this conversation. That will help you improve your self assessment so that you can grow your self. Awareness is to always seek and praise God in the process. Even when it hurts. Even when you are doing this this thought work and connecting some dots that call you out even when see stuff that you don't like an even when when you see things that you really do like that. You're like okay, I. I like this and. This is something that. I have found to be comforting because it just helps. You remember that you're not doing this alone. Right I. In walking devotional with a couple of my friends, I came this week we came across Psalm one zero two. And what I realize in reading the Psalm and actually think might be one or three so as join me as I turn the pages of my Bible quietly. Maybe not so quietly because you can probably hear it in the microphone, but it's okay so in Psalm. It's actually it is one. Oh three. This some? Is. One and for some reason this struck me and I have a note actually here as I went back and looked at my old. My Old Bible that this Psalm describes the character of God. And when you? Give yourself the opportunity to be real with yourself when you give yourself the opportunity to be still when you give yourself the opportunity to be curious and. When you can seek and praise God in the process of doing those things, as you're building this muscle and building up this intention, related to self, awareness and self assessing. God's character is one that has compassion for his children. He wants. He has mercy towards us. He wants to be kind to us. He is kind to us. He sacrificed his son so that we could have life and have life everlasting, and I just want to read very quickly. A couple of verses here, so psalm one zero three. This is from the English Standard version. And I'm going to start at verse to. Bless the Lord, Oh my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity? Who Heals all your diseases? Who redeems your life from the pit? Who Crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the Eagle's the Lord, Works Righteousness and justice for all who are just. He made known his ways to Moses. Acts to the people of Israel the. Lord is Merciful and gracious slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever? He does not deal with US according to our sins, nor repay according to our iniquities, for as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love, towards those who fear him as far as the East is from the West so far does he remove our transgressions from us? As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. For, he knows our frame, he remembers. We are dust. And I could be going. That was I read verse, two versus two through fourteen. And when you just listen to that, he said it says right on here as a father shows compassion to his children soul the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him, and when you have an opportunity to get still embi still before God and as you're doing this type of growth and this and this type of work. He is with us in this process. He is in fact the the fuel, so to speak that powers the engine for us to do this renewal. We have to choose to do the work that comes with the renewal. And, believe that in in Christ, we can be renewed. In Christ and in in again in doing the work right because this is not you know one of the things that I've learned in the last really like two years of my faith journey. In, maybe maybe even more. Is that. I was taught a brand of faith or picked up whatever the case may be. That was pray and wish and hope. And what I have learned is that especially because we are humans who have had real life experiences that have imprinted on us that therefore impact the way we show up in this world that the way we interact with Christ that impact the way we understand what scripture promises to us, and what it does not promise to us the way that we relate and connect to other people the way that we relate and connect to our father in heaven the way that we understand our relationship to our joint heir in Christ. That, we can't be passive in our walk. You can't be passive in the in praying and waiting for a magician act to happen. There are times and again even in in one of the things I shared here being still, but being still is an active process. Active in doing certain types of things in maybe not. But it is still something that you're actively doing their stolen intention there, and in in thinking about seeking God in thinking about praising him in thinking about understanding who is character is all as we're doing this work. This he joins. US In, this process because he cares about us and I think the best one of my favorite things about. This particular season of my life is being able to break through the. strongholds that have come as a result of what I have experienced and seeing how my relationship with God is growing in the process, because I'm removing barriers and that I think is work that he partners with us in and when you are intentional about understanding the fruit of the spirit and understanding that. Being slow to anger is something that is available to us, and maybe you are not currently slow to anger because of experiences that you've had, but getting to become slow to anger is something that's available to you in Christ and in doing the work, and in asking the question an reminding yourself to take your thoughts captive, and remembering that you can become more patient and you. Can you know become more kind? You can have more compassion that there are things that you can point your eyes to that. You think on things that are above. And not here on earth, right all of these different things. Utah like Paul talks a lot about what he talks a lot about thought work right proverbs talk about talks about how we are to position ourselves talks about wisdom that we are to apply not just here, but apply right David talks about the emotional experiences and shifting his his emotions to remember that he is a child of God so when I. When I talk about Self, awareness and I talk about self. Assessing this work is in partnership with our faith. This work is in partnership with what scripture tells us that we can do and how whole we can be. But if you are expecting. Work to make you whole or a relationship to make you hold not as not a relationship with God, that is a relationship with a person, if you are expecting a thing or an achievement, and as someone who literally lived my life for the sake of fulfilling myself, and believing that these achievements would make me valuable in the eyes of people and valuable to myself, I can tell you that is not true. Right that your value is inherent to who you are. Your value is inherent to who you are. Your value comes from your relationship. Relationship and understanding of how God has designed you and when you do that work to break the to take the scales, really off of your own is that have been placed there by the life that has been that has been handed to you by number of different experiences. You get to see really what I think is what God has really designed us to to see an experienced, and that is freedom that we that is the freedom that we have in Christ, and you get that freedom by doing the work by having the intention. By going to him humbly and saying Lord help me here, help me here and that help can can show up in a number of different ways it can show up in different communities can show in in prayers from people it can show up in you hearing and feeling the nudges within your own spirit about some of the things that you know you. You need to do or shift or change about the way that you show up, but this is an active process and. My, prayer for you. Is that you are you make time to do that and that you know that. You can be kind to yourself in the process and that you know that you have a God who cares so much about. Your! Healing and your pain, and your joy, and your sorrow that he is, he sent his son to die, but also live. He sent his son to die and be resurrected so that we might live. And he sent his son here to be an example of the character that we have access to. That can be developed an revealed through. The intentional work of assessing the intentional work of increasing your self awareness, the intentional work of asking yourself questions and seeking with compassion and understanding about who you are. What matters to you and how God has designed you to show up? As. We go through this conversation it will. There are things that will become more practical and sort of tangible in terms of how we can show up every day to do this in our careers and things like that but again. Part of an critical to success in anything is wholeness within yourself, and I pray that as you embark on that journey were kind to yourself in the process, and that you are gentle with yourself in the process. I, want to thank you for listening to another episode of. How does she do it this episode one hundred and forty. If you have not had a chance to leave and five star, rating and review in the apple podcasts APP. Please do so. And I like actually do this. If you leave a five star rating and review in the apple podcast APP. Take a screen shot. Sometimes it takes a little bit for it to get posted in the. In the actual. Take a screen shot of it and send it to me in my DM's or shoot it to me in an email and I will have something for you. So I appreciate you. I WanNa thank you I. Want to encourage you to stay encouraged be encouraged, and until next time be blessed and be a blessing. Piece.
"I welcome to the equiped stir film review podcast. My name is Vince Leo I am the author of the Film Review Website Quipped Stir Dot net I've been doing film review since one thousand nine hundred eighty six I invite you to check out nuanced version of the joker yet the palpable torment is fascinating to observe on Joaquin Phoenix's face he reels off unnerving behaviour that's both emotional and physical in its execution still when you're dealing with the joker you know it is hard not to come off as a caricature rather than fully realized characters doing very well at the box office it is a very gritty grimy Neolithic R. rated version of joker it is a film tire life he has little to show for all of his efforts to stay on the path of sanity one of his afflictions is an uncontrollable laugh that using a gutsy performance he's full of inner pane obvious turmoil but with a little bit of a touch of tragedy and a lot of unpredictability that makes his the most well but he soon finds that there may be a new path to getting that audience that he's been struggling to get as an entertainer when he gains notoriety occurs when he's faced with things that make him anxious or stressed and that often gets him further into trouble just on its own he's living in this Gotham city up able to get his path to appearing on the number one late night talk show hosted by his idol Murray Franklin play by Robert Deniro the even with the several medication to find himself transformed into this madman with grievances on society that he wishes to take to a public forum walkie Phoenix here delivering another mesmerized I'm based on the DC comics character it stars walking Phoenix as joker it's an R. rated film it does have strong bloody violence disturbing behavior language and throughout joker that Oh my gosh goes one step further by casting the star of both of those portrayals of madness king of comedy and taxi driver of course Robert De as this Bernard gets style subway shooter a lot more to the story than that but I don't want to spoil it for most people who haven't seen it yet essentially jokers kind of one relatively slow moving peace it doesn't have any real action set pieces to boast its content to build on a more realistic portrayal of how this sick and lonely person ends at he's on his afflictions often get the better of Arthur now he's lost his job he's lost his therapist his meds and his sanity continues to be lost city sometime in the early nineteen eighties walking peanuts here starring as Arthur fleck Arthur's a man who's been dealing with mental challenges his malevolent burgeoning super villain behavior that we all associate with joker joker benefits from a classic look that's thanks to stunning cinemas apartment with his ailing mother penny played by Frances Conroy he's trying to make it on his own either as a clown or as a stand up comedian on the hope that he might eighteen eighty s specifically it is called around the world in eighties movies you can find a link to that on my website quips dot net today. I'm going to be looking at a film that it character study in one part oh my gosh to Martin Scorsese's earlier filmography most notably the king of comedy taxi driver very much rampant Ashley within the course of just one movie but Phoenix I think does about as good a job as could be done meeting the task in the middle between plausible illness and this cartoonish brief sexual images the run time is two hours and two minutes in addition to walking Phoenix supporting roles go to Robert Deniro Francis Conroy's as he neuro- here he's in a supporting role as the host of the late night talk show that Arthur daydreams constantly of making his debut appearance on as a character study it's Beats Brett Cullen and Shea Wiggham the director Todd Phillips who also provides the screenplay along with Scott Silver now this one set any crime ridden Gotham in this narrative that largely strays away from the kind of CG work that usually overtakes comic book based films the Soundtrack filters in like this weird and Fascinating Interfere Bhai Lawrence sure that highlight it's dark tones it's bleak atmosphere the editing the lighting the camera worker also topnotch going along with all of that Amo keeps with the lucid daydreams to Arthur engages in when he envisions his own time in the spotlight on Murray's show nothing we can see can be did as a one hundred percent real Arthur's day-to-day existence blends with his own twisted fantasies in this way that we can only guess from the context whether what we're witnessing is fact or fiction now themes regarding the mentally ill and they're shunning by American society run strong in Joker Arthur becomes at least in his mind the voice for the poor and the overlooked people who fall through the cracks society for whom no one seems to find the voice to help them get back on their feet once they fallen there's also this notion in that those who are rich and famous get to control the crumbs of attention or success that they will allow among those who are poor nobody's Arthur's quest to find a way to earn his overnight success and notoriety become part of the film's notion of a climax in real life during the nineteen eighty s there was a lot of government funding that was being cut to help the mental the ill and that resulted in a marked increase in those who are not able to get the support or medication that they needed to keep it in check and there was this boom in homelessness and then a lot have extenuating violence that would play the era in a way that actually has continued to this day now although dealing with a character that they may not know from their cartoon Sir Comic Books Parents should probably be aware that joker is absolutely not for children it may be a bit too violent and depressing for even some adults Batman Period R. rated territory the depiction here of Thomas Wayne in particular a billionaire running for office this depiction that makes him out to be not a very kind or loving father it's me have some trouble also embracing this take on the classic character as well as those who expect their comic book stories not to cross over into very sad and sadistic husband that may rankle a few long term fans of these characters and their back stories going back many many decades in fact Joaquin Phoenix argued against Thomas Wayne's and ochre and that gaunt and lanky manner in which he's frequently depicted even with these things joker does mostly stay away from the typical Batman storyline much of the time the film and he also did not like a lot of the other direct tie ins with the Batman mythos that the narrative takes including also objected to having to shed over fifty pounds to play Gio only tying it in within a couple of scenes with one particular seeing that doubles as an origin story for a young Bruce Wayne to later be what he intends to be in life the joker succeeds at leaving a very lasting discomfiting impression of how a tragic life often can result in tragic outcomes for the person who experiences it as well as those around him in his fear of influence not everyone will be in tune with jokers delving into uncomfortable areas to find the film as a whole alternately convinced through the method acting of his madness there's no joy in hearing jokers laughter in this film and I do think that it is actually quite effective in that take if you take joker on its own terms as a relatively grounded way to explain how joker came to be I do think walking Phoenix manages aw giving the kind of entertainment value that they want going in but I do think that this is a case where expectations will largely dictate once feelings by the end but my personal I do think it is a good film I do ultimately think that a lot of the complaints that happened to be about this film happened to be from expectations or demand regarded it does leave a lasting impression that I think makes it a pretty good movie and that's enough for me to give it three and a half stars out of four three and a half stars on my scale Batman at some point I do think that it is pretty effective stuff for the most part and I do think that ultimately the performance is here are very good ends of what they want out of Batmans entertainment I think if you remove the Batman mythos from it I wish actually kind of agree with Joaquin Phoenix maybe they should have removed it altogether there are at least for this first film if they want to continue the storyline it might have been a little bit more plausible but given that a lot of people do expect it to tie INS and there's some risk taking here that I do think ultimately pays off so three and a half stars out of four is what I give joker obviously this is a film that has been splitting out of fans and a lot of people who have taken it in obviously I do think that there are going to be people out there that are disagreeing with my take here if you have any you get to go to the movies durfee my facebook page my instagram all of those are also adequate ways to get in touch with me until next time thanks everyone listening please enjoy your time anytime every one of them at my website Webster Dot Net TWIP s. t. e. r. Dot net while you're there and you encourage you to check out my other podcast that covers films of the night what's that I may have left out or you want to impart you can find my contact information at my website. That's a quick stir dot net twip T. R. Dot net. Why did they do encourage you to check out.
Episode 125: Those Fears We Cannot Explain
"Welcome to be great today. Weekly inspiration to start your week. I am Jonathan Bloom. Bloom or frazee sparks band in the world of warcraft. Someone take you on an adventure through one of the fears. I struggle with a lot. If you're around me. Sometimes you hear a little buzzing insect you may see me go like he hear any manner of reactions from me. I don't think that I react. His violently or has a phrase. I have in the past but I am afraid. A Bee's I've been afraid of bees ever since I was six years old and we were standing out of the school bus learning about bus safety. Be and the full by the year right Middle Finger afraid of these little insects. I'm six foot. Six between two thirty to fifty pounds wants depending on how much I eat. And I'm afraid of this little insects according to school of bees dot com a. b. weighs about point. Zero zero rose zero to five pounds. They say sixty thousand be can be heaviest fifteen pounds. So I'm afraid of this very little insect so so me at two hundred and forty five pounds. I am terrified of a B that can only way fifteen pounds if there were many of them. People have tried to tell me over the years. Get over it get past it. I've tried I've tried to pass this fear sometimes uh-huh we are afraid and there is nothing we can do and it's more than just dilemmas. Even the physical fears. We're afraid of the future. We're afraid of the what ifs and my fear of bees has helped me realize that there are those fears of others. I that I may think is stupid. Just get over it. Just get past it. I think a very real fear of migration in the generation that's following me is anxiety anxiety sometimes is what I know that people attribute their fear to. I'm afraid whenever I go to a new place what's going to happen when it's something that I don't know afraid when I have a new guest my podcast. I was terrified of going to bliss. Con of the what. If and we can't always just get over it people make fun of me sometimes because of my be fear back when I was in an after school program there are people that would go they would take a pen or something you just. It was terrifying defying me. Sometimes if a terrified me so there hasn't been annoy me that they're making fun of a fear and the point I'm getting is. We all have fears that. I think maybe irrational and we can't just get past it but I think it's not just our fears. I think it's good to know others have fears too and I think if we can understand those fears better and if we can understand that we need to give people space be with them in those fears empathize with them. We may not understand why they're afraid of that way. I I still can't explain why I'm afraid again of a little insect that once it hits you but I understand the bee dies. It should be more afraid of me. Why do I give power? I don't think I'll explain it but I hope that this helps me realize other people people are afraid of something that is probably the size of be. Some may have a fear that is huge mountain. But I think some fears are be in. There's there's nothing we can do to get past it so this week. What's look at the fears? We have an. Let's look at the fear of other people have and let's try to look look at it with the feeling of empathy perspective not judgment but being with people where they are at that moment in that veer they he for listening to this week. Be Great. Today you are helping alleviate fear that I have that sometimes I have this fear that no one listens dirt on them. And I'm like why and I do this whenever I hear. Somebody says that something from one of these shows you show me that you're listening and I appreciate that and I'm growing through this as well. You can find the show at Apple. PODCAST DOT COM. And there you can find past episodes as well as regan subscribe to this show so I can bring you inspiration every week so until next week. I don't even want to say be awesome. This show is brought to you. By woah Jackson. Powell would studio dot com.
The Twilight Zone 60th Anniversary Blu Ray Collection
"Tonight. I'm interrupting our coverage of twilight zone twenty nineteen with a short little off to cough review. Now, this is something that I used to do occasionally hundred while but if a new twilight zone product like a computer game or a book than I just can't attend the mic on and talk about it. And tonight, I'm going to talk you through a new twilight zone. Blu Ray box set. Now, obviously, this is something that is probably better on visually. So I've also just recorded on boxing video of this box set. So if you go to the twilight zone podcast dot com slash TS, e sixty then you can see that one boxing video there, obviously, I'm going to be saying a lot of the same things on that video. But you'll at least get that visual aspect to it as well. But if you don't move, then I'm going to give you an idea of this box set. As well until you have a chance to sit down and watch video. So just to begin. This is a new Blu Ray box set with all five seasons of the original twilight zone on it. And it's entitled the sixtieth anniversary edition, and what we've got here is a beautiful sort of keyboard box it similar to the fifth dimension edition that was out in the states, which is now out of print, but it's a peaceful sort of black box with swells on that. And we have the silhouette of rod sailing on the front now, what is really important to me as a kind of collected of things is if I'm going to buy a box set of something I like it to be definitive. I like it to feel like it's good quality. If you like, and it's hard to do these days with a lot of things that are on go, and but with the twilight zone because that original series is complete in and of itself, then it's easy to do. You can just put them all together. And it's really about how you package to appeal to the collector. And I think what this book set does it is really bring that collected appeal to it because not only is it a nice definitive edition with all those episodes in it. But it looks great on the shelf. You know, it is a beautiful looking piece to have their as part of your collection. So when we open it up there is packed quite nicely into it. We have the five seasons of the twilight zone in it all in Canada. Did you pack if you're like, so I suppose the big question is what differentiates this from previous editions? Now, I can't speak definitively about US additions. I don't really have a fame grasp of what's come out over there. But I know that the Blu Ray additions in the UK when they were released a preview. Slee which is probably going by. I dunno over five years for sure those additions where an exact port of what was coming out in the US at that time. So those original Blu Ray releases that were produced by Mark Zicree, where the same the came over in the UK and from looking through these discs and checking them out these are the same as those additions. So if you have the original UK additions, then these are the same discs. So the decision for you is whether you are going to upgrade for the purposes of having this box at nother is an extra disc in it, which wasn't on those previous releases and on that this that are two documentaries. There is American masters presents rod sailing submitted for your approval. I haven't watched that one yet. But does also one called is timeless as Infinity entering the twice. Alight zone. Now, I believe that is fairly recent that was only made in the last few years, and it's got really a great selection of people talking about the twilight zone rod sailing. Carol sailing is on it Ma executives on Joe Dante a lot of great twilight zone commentators. And I watched that last night. That's a really nice. I am talking mandatory. And I believe that was made by ballyhoo films who are documentary-makers now Chassard to one of the guys from ballyhoo films who made this documentary on Twitter and does a bit of a story behind this being made. And hopefully, we'll get to that one day on the show. So those are there they are bit of extra value to this set from those previous releases. So we'd sees are in these Deji pack sorts of cardboard with a plastic in the Hos- desks in the disks are easy to take in and out and some nice artwork on those. Packs. So what else is in the box. Well, there's a selection of a really nice little booklets in here. Again. The quality is really really good defaced one is called as a companion guide. And this was written. I believe brand new by Mark Zicree for this release. And it's sort of like a an it's sorta like a small vision of the twilight zone companion, and Zicree has a better history about the show. And he goes through episode by episode and gives a little bit of commentary on each want some short some along kind of like the twilight zone companion. But again, you got some beautiful images in here. If feels nice it's a quality little book. So that's the face thing. Now, the next thing is called the twilight zone episode guide, and that is more guide to the disks. If you like so you can go through and you can look at what's on each disc. It will tell you what the bonus features are if there's a commentary on. If there is, you know, the radio drama, all of those extras that would on the previous releases are on this one it seems. And if you wanna see what's on it. You can go to your episode guide and see and again, you know, nice quality good print some nice images in there two. Now, the next thing and these are really beautiful is to reproductions of twilight zone. Gold key comics now said in the past on this show of not really a huge fan of them in terms of content to quite simplistic. And I think twilight zone comics up and on better following on from them bought. I still like them as a snapshot of twilight zone history. So I do really welcome these in this set. So it's to sort of many reproductions, and the thing about the gold key comics is the covers were just absolutely beautiful. They were all painted. And to be honest with the best things about the comics as far as I'm concerned. I would like someone to watch reprint to gold key twilight zone comics archive additions, whether I like them or not I would really like to own them in that form, you know, so to preserve them in that way. So we'll though not a huge fan of of those comics as entertainment as a piece of history as a piece of twilight zone history, I really do like them. And it's nice to have these two in the sats as well. Then we have to art cards. I don't know whether the different for each set, but I got talky Tina one which is I can nice still from that episode and also one of the pig people from I've the beholder as well, so two nights are cards there that you can get framed or just keeping the set. And the next thing is from. I recently talked about. To the twilight zone stage play at the end busters theater in London. And there is I don't know whether to complete reproduction of the program because unfortunately, when I went to that show, it was before the programs were printed survey. I don't actually have a program from that show. So I'm not sure whether this is Pacific -ly created for this box set or is a reproduction of the program in miniature. It seems to be a quiz. It's a twilight zone general knowledge quiz, and you can work through the book. I don't think there's anything to taxing in there for twilight zone fans, but it's a nice little extra. So I guess the thing is is this going to be where your while to buy. If you already owned the twilight zone Blu rays now through anyone not in the U K on. Fortunately, it does. Look like these are region locked to region be so that is the u k discs. Region. So fortunately, unless you have a multi region play on a lot of people do then this probably won't work on regular US players. Now, I know sometimes something will be kind of automatically shown as region be when it's released, but the discs on necessarily region be the region free. I've got no way test than that. So I don't know whether that's the case with these ones, but maybe you would need to air on the side of caution. If you don't have a multi region player now, the other thing is the cost, you know, this is a bit of a premium set. It's it's not cheap. And if you go to the twilight zone dot co dot U K, this is the only place you can buy it doesn't seem to be on Amazon or any of the site. And it's limited to fifteen hundred set. So it is quite a collect as thing if you liked. Now on that website. They do have a cheap aversion. A kind of did you pack of all five seasons in it. Which is a lot less put this eviction to. Collect addition is a hundred fifty pounds. So the way I justified that to myself is I am a collector I do love to twilight zone, and I do like to have a definitive addition, obviously, I have the five seasons of the twilight zone in their previous editions. Now, those are out of print in the UK. So you can get probably around about twenty pounds for those on EBay secondhand. So if you have all five you can raise, you know, in the region to eighty two hundred after your fees, EBay fees, and so on and when you offset that against the cost of this set, then just coughing up. Fifty pound four is nobod- thing at all. And when you think that? Those original additions you're probably paying about seventy pound for them each season when they came out those in themselves would have cost you a hundred and fifty pounds of by. So in terms of value. I do think it is very good value. And not only do you get all of the discs with all the extras, you do get disputable collectors presentation. And I think even if you were a twilight zone collected in the US and you own all of the Blu rays already. Just want this nice collector's set. Then it might be worth by an unjust swapping, discs out and sailing. Do you discs from this set on EBay and put in your US disclaimed? That's just an idea. But that's the set. You know, it really is a beautiful thing. It gets us homes up from me. And I'm so glad of God. It just really looks so nice next to all night twilight zone books and so on. If if the makers listening who knows maybe they are. And I hope this does well for you. It would be really nice to get a a sort of companion set with the show and even the two thousand show in it. It wouldn't need to be as plush book just designed to sit nicely next to this one. I think that'd be quite a cool thing. Especially seeing as the two thousand show is well out of print and not one season that goes for a lot of money on EBay these days. So it'd be nice to get new edition those and annot those shows are very hit and miss book as collectors I think a lot of the time we still like to have them because they are part of twilight zone history as well. So nice set of those and it could probably be done a lot cheaper. It's unlikely that anyone's going to generate any new extra features on those, you know, so they could probably do a companion set. That's a bit cheaper that could sit next to this just an idea. So that's enough. Go to the twilight zone dot co dot U K and check it out. Or if you wanna see my video on boxing Goto, the twilight zone, podcasts dot com slash TS e six zero and have a look at the video there. So let's get back to our coverage of twilight zone twenty nineteen and I will speak to you soon.
Ask the Dietitian: Guilty or Not Guilty?
"Hello and and welcome to healthy living with Lumpia powered by AMEX health. My name is let me assure Zinger and I'm the owner and founder of a mix up if you're interested in living a healthy lifestyle whether you've you've been doing so for years or you're just beginning journey today then this podcast is for you. Each episode will tackle a topic in the world of health and help you take the steps necessary assery to live your best life today's episode we will be discussing the power of guilt. If you ever feel guilty for taking the time to put yourself first or on the other end of the spectrum you feel guilty for not working out or eating something you told yourself. You shouldn't then you're gonNA understand. The control guilt has over our lives. Let's first discuss the former type of guilt feeling guilty for taking time away from your family. Your friends work or any other responsibility. You might have to make time treat yourself. Our society glorifies busy often. We have an unspoken competition with others to Bemoan though we secretly enjoy the the fact that we're so busy from sunrise to sunset and try to out busy one another with tales of our long days time to ourselves is always presented as a luxury not something something we need for our health so when we do finally get some downtime we often feel pool to use it in a more quote unquote productive way rather than putting her needs. I this needs to stop taking time for yourself to exercise to food. Prep nutritious meals to meditate. Take a walk with a friend shopping with a loved one. Whatever it may be all of those things are good for your mind your body and your soul they refresh thus recenter us and help us find happiness in the day? You need to overcome the notion that you are wasting your time when you go for a run or you're stealing stealing time from your children. If you attend a yoga class or go out with a friend when we put ourselves I we're actually working on improving our health which in turn earn can help improve our mood when we do interact their children it will improve our minds that when we sit down to work and improve our commitment to others in the relationships that we have since we know we aren't completely giving up our wants and needs for others. I challenge you to find one action. You can do each day. That's for you that is exercising cooking a healthy meal that you enjoy going out with the French going on a date with your significant other whatever it may be even as small as taking five minutes to call someone that you'd like to talk to whatever it is but but here's the catch do not feel guilty when you're doing this. The belief that if you are caring for yourself you aren't caring for others is completely lately false. You should feel guilty if you don't take time for yourself because you know that it will then affect you care for others remember self care and caring for others are not to mutually exclusive actions. You deserve to be healthy and happy just like everyone else now talking about the opposite here when we guilty if we skip a workout or eat food that we deem as unquote bad this guilt is at first glance seemingly opposite from the first type of guilt we discussed but in fact it's very similar. We we feel guilty because we aren't doing something. We should have done you splurge during a weekend away or you decided to skip the gym in the morning because you wanted to sleep a little bit. What is perhaps more disheartening than feeling guilt in the first place. Is the fact that many individuals especially women and there's a lot of research that backs US up. We can't can't use a guilt as a motivation to be healthy knowing that you are going to last summer down if you don't meet them for a run in the morning or you feel as if you're being judged edged because you don't have what you think is the perfect body that oftentimes is what drives us to eat a certain way or exercise each day. That's the actual the main motivation to do. These healthy habits in our society does not help. We're inundated with the message that you need to push through the pain. You need to look a certain way. You need to do it all and if you don't you are a failure if you've ever seen a commercial marshall for any type of diet or any kind of exercise equipment you'll understand this. The men and women are always in fantastic shape and they're smiling away away a run on the treadmill or eating salad or whatever it is that that commercial selling the message being that the reason you don't look like them because because you're not doing what they're doing or you don't love to get up at four. AM and go for a run or whatever it is and this is ridiculous. We also have the unfortunate stereotypes in our culture that thin is equal to healthy happy and beautiful and if you're overweight you are unhealthy unhappy with your life and your ugly that is Sarah type that is extremely prevalent in our society and all of this as with no in between right there is either. You're overweight or you're skinny and there's nothing in between which is impossible. That's an impossible set of standards that we have to try to meet. So how do we overcome this. We'll first and foremost is become more comfortable in your own body. This does not mean you don't need to work and sometimes uh-huh. You don't need to work hard for your health because you do or you just have to accept yourself that where you are where you are going to be like that forever does not what I'm saying what this means is seeing the beauty within and without that. You have no matter what your weight is. It's letting go but unrealistic version of yourself for example clients are always telling me when I was in high school. I weighed this. When I was in college. I got married read. I weighed this. This is the size I had. I was wearing when I before I had my three kids or that famous actress this or that professional football player. That's who I WANNA look. These are such an unrealistic version of you because it's so much more than just starving yourself and exercising twenty hours a day right so it means letting go that and embracing yourself off as you work towards your healthiest and that's often the most important first step right loving your body as you go through the journey with it to get to your the healthiest and happiest point which may be losing fifty pounds but it also may not be and just exercising a little bit more and eating a little bit less whatever it may be also giving yourself. Kudos for win. You do have a great workout or when you overall throughout the week had good nutritious diet throughout out that week. Maybe you had some treats here or there but overall we had the eighty twenty rule right eighty percent of time. He degrade twenty percent of the time. You had a cookie. That's okay remembering that you don't have to prove yourself to anyone. Ever your health is no one else's business except of course any any health professionals you're working with but that's obviously a little bit different but the idea you have to look perfect for others should be an obsession that you immediately let go of and for many of you that will be difficult because often the way we think we look for to others is how we live our lives. We WanNA look a certain way way because that's how others perceive us so the final step here is also tied to these. It's finally malate appreciating your body by listen to it when it needs to move and any exercise needs to breast achieving goals that that you didn't know you could finish right. That's appreciating your body for example doing a five K. Your very first five K. whereas a year ago you could say I would never identified K. Whether that is walking or running or anything in between appreciating at by nourishing nourishing it with fresh foods and plenty of water in the occasional treat silently thanking it for all the things that does for you when all the things that has allowed you to cheat so far. Our bodies are amazing. It's why one of the reasons I got into this field because what the body can do and go through and enable us to do is amazing I believe and if you feel that you could be healthier and happier by moving more war changing your diet then listened to that part of your body as well and start by making small changes in order to do so so as we wrap up this discussion discussion. I hope you can start to find ways to let go that guilt. It's not going to be easier not saying that but again. Take no small steps to do so a promise will help weather weather you fit into either of those categories. We talked about right either feeling guilty. When you do something for yourself or feeling guilty when you aren't doing what you quote unquote should be doing or if you feel guilty with both start to find ways to let it go that will help you achieve your goals with more clarity happiness and permanents minutes than any negative feeling of guilt may ever do for you so as we always say take a small step today that you feel will lead you to putting guilt behind you and putting yourself. I take care and uh.
Ep 4. The Truth About Happiness
"You're listening to the bold self love podcast episode four welcome to the bold self love podcast a podcast for women who are ready to put themselves at the top of their list of priorities so that they can love live and feel better you are capable and worthy of bold south love download your Bolt Self Love Care Kit at Cassandra Massey Dot com now your host a Sandra Massey professional certified life and wait coach. Josh Hello Beautiful. Thank you for tuning into today's episode of the Bold Self Love podcast now. I hope you don't mind that I call you beautiful every week. I made a decision when I first started this podcast that I would always refer to you as beautiful and the reason for that well first of all is because you are and second of all because you probably are not ought told how beautiful you are often enough and it's probably even more rare for you to tell yourself that you are beautiful so I love being able to tell you that you are beautiful each and every week so let's get started with this week's podcast this week. I want to talk about happiness and I'm calling this podcast episode the Truth About Happiness. I think there are a lot of misconceptions about happiness and what the happiness is and how to find happiness and what will make us happy. I remember reading a book called stumbling on happiness by I think it's Daniel Gilbert several years ago now and his book took a lot of current research on this topic and I remember number the underlying premise was that as humans we don't have the ability to predict with any certainty what will make us happy and I think that this is an interesting concept but I think it's because we believe the once we get somewhere. Once we achieve a goal or once we get that new purse or by that new car get the bigger home or have children then we will be happy because we believe that these are the things that are going to to make us happy so let's start there. Let's start with what is happiness so happy is simply an emotion. An emotion is something that we experienced in our bodies right eight. It's a physical vibration that we experienced in our bodies and that emotion is created by the way that we are thinking so if you have a thought that I love my new purse. It's going to create the emotion of happiness within you. If if you're looking at your new baby and that baby gives you a smile and it's the first smile you're going to be filled with happiness. You're going to have a strong physical vibration of happiness with in your body but the feeling of happiness is not created defy the smile. That's the feeling of happiness is created by your thoughts about the smile because if that was somebody else's baby and you saw that baby smile it might make you happy it might not not make you happy if you're dealing with infertility and you saw happy baby. You might feel sad because you're thinking. I don't know if I'm ever going to have a child of my own. Your emotion is entirely dependent went on the way that you are thinking about the circumstance in this case the baby smiling so that's really the first thing that I want you to begin to understand about happiness. Happiness is simply an emotion and it is an emotion that we create by how we are thinking so let's talk now for a minute about future happiness because a lot of us most of us. If we're asked the question what you want the most out of life. You're probably going to get some version version of I just want to be happy but the truth about happiness is that you can't be happy all of the time and you wouldn't really want to be would you when a loved one passes away you want to feel sad. God you want to experience sadness. When you think about how you're never going to see that loved one again at least not here on earth when you find out that your significant other is having an affair you want to feel upset at least in the moment right you want to feel feel angry and humiliated deceived and all of the other negative emotions when someone betrays your trust you can later choose to feel better? You can even create happiness from a situation like this once. You've processed the negative emotions but you can't be happy all the time. Now I think fundamentally we understand that we have to experience the negative in order to appreciate the positive happiness always comes from happy thoughts. The people who tell you that they're happy all of the time are probably not being very honest with themselves or they don't allow themselves to experience negative emotions. I always liked to give the example of a beach ball if you have a beach ball and you're holding it underwater there's some resistance it'll stay there. As long as you're exerting this resistance but eventually the beach ball is going to pop up you can't maintain that level of resistance forever and it's the same thing with negative emotions so if you're somebody who often resists you're negative emotions and you keep them below the water and you hold them there and you resist them and you have a very strong resistance. They probably pop up and there are some sort of explosion at some point. I see this happen a lot with my clients who are perfectionists and people pleasers. They WanNa believe that they are incomplete control of everything and that it's all good but what happens is that if you're not allowing allowing yourself to experience the negative emotions though when the beach Bob pops up and their emotion starts flooding over you because you can't resist anymore you do something to make yourself feel better or you direct the negative emotion at someone or something something else you eat the entire box of chocolates or drink the bottle of wine or you start a fight with your husband so the thing about resisting negative emotion that I want you to really understand is that it's just going to continue to grow stronger the more or you resist it. I really want you don't understand that having negative emotions is not a bad thing. Negative emotions are part of the human experience in our society. We are taught that were supposed to feel good most the time and if we're not feeling good were given things to make us feel better and the starts when we're children right if we see that our children are hurting in an emotional way so they tell you I don't feel happy. I'm not happy because of something that happened at school school or they feel disappointed because they didn't get the grade that they wanted or they didn't get into the school they applied to anytime our children experience emotional difficulty. We as parents want to make them feel better now. I'm not saying saying that feeling better is a bad thing what I am saying is that if somebody is experiencing negative emotion and you encourage them to resist or avoid it by trying to make them feel better with something external that can be a problem mm-hmm because what we are teaching our children is that experiencing negative emotion is something to avoid we are instilling the belief that we shouldn't feel bad and we ended up carrying this belief with us into adulthood and so as adults when we don't feel happy we believe that we can create eight happiness by changing our circumstances. We believe that we can make ourselves happy or feel better by achieving something once I get the degree or the promotion or by purchasing something by getting the bigger home by getting the new car by getting the job or moving to the better neighborhood then I will feel happy. We really believe that if we can change our circumstances then we will feel happy but what I want to teach you today is that feeling better is a not the result of a change in your circumstances. Feeling better is the result of a change in the way that you are thinking about your current circumstances. Now I know Oh this is kind of a hard concept to grasp but I want you to really think about it. Emotions can only be experienced in the present moment now. You may be happy in the future but the reason for that happiness is because of how you we'll be thinking about your circumstances in the future and that I think is why we are so terrible about predicting our future happiness it's because we believe that happiness comes from achieving something from changing our surroundings or jobs ops or buying something that we really want but happiness can never be created by a change in circumstance it can only be changed by a change in your thinking and the same thing holds true when we talk about past emotions so if you've ever said something like I was so happy when I was a college or was much happier before having children you can remind yourself that the reason why you felt happiness in the past was because of your thoughts about your circumstances in the past and if you believe that you have a painful past you can remind yourself that the past cannot be painful only your thoughts about the past can bring you current pain and changing your story about your past is something I we'll talk more more about in a future episode because it can have a dramatic effect on your current emotional health when you can successfully do this but for today's episode the main lesson I want you to walk away with is that the way that you're going to create happiness is by having. Having happy thoughts so let's walk through a couple of concrete examples so that you can really understand what I'm talking about because in theory this kind of make sense but I think when you think about it in terms of real life examples he'll begin to understand how you might be the the cause of preventing yourself from experiencing happiness right now so let's start with the example of losing weight so I have a lot of women that I work with WHO want to lose weight and when they first start working with me and I ask them why they WANNA lose weight. They give me a whole host two reasons but one of the primary reasons is always because I'm going to feel better I'll be able to be more loving and more accepting of myself when I lose the weight so they really believe that in the future when they lose the wait so when they lose twenty pounds fifty pounds one hundred pounds whatever the goal is they truly believe that the result is what is going to make them feel better. Here's another common example I get from women and that is the example of once yes. I'm able to declutter my home or have system in place where can keep my home organized in clean all of the time then I'm going to be able to feel happy then I'm going to be able to relax and Phil peaceful at home so again. It's this belief that once I've achieved the result result then I can feel better another common example that I often see from the women I work with is that they believe that they don't have enough time to get it all done and so they truly believe that if they had a better time management system if they could be more productive if if they could get more done if they achieved the results of being able to fit everything into their already packed schedule then they can feel better in all of the examples there. Is this underlying belief that if we just took the action to get the result then we could create a better feeling. We really believe that once we achieved the result than we can feel happy so again. The lesson for today is this your thoughts are what create emotions you take action based on how you are feeling feeling if you have a belief or thought that you're not going to be able to feel happy or content or peaceful or present until you've achieved a result that belief is never going to create a positive feeling within you. It's going to creative feeling of maybe desperation or discouragment or disappointment because you aren't there yet because you haven't achieved the result yet here going to be so focused on where you want to be that you truly believe that there is better than here well. I have some news for you. There is not going to be better than here. At least the way you feel isn't going to change simply because you've achieved the thing you set out to achieve and in fact the likelihood of you creating the result you you want is so much lower when you're operating from a negative emotion so if you're experiencing negative emotions if you're feeling discouraged or you're feeling disappointment or if you're feeling desperate that's not going to make you want to take the steps to lose lose the weight you want to lose or to spend time working on decluttering your home. What happens is that? Whenever we feel negative emotion we do something to make it stop? Most of us are not very good at allowing the emotion at processing the emotion at just experiencing the emotion and instead we try to do something to feel better right now in the present moment and so the things that are going to make us feel better are oftentimes not the things that are going to move closer to achieving the goal so if we WANNA lose weight it means drinking more water it means eating healthier mills getting out and exercising doing things that were not in the habit of doing and if we're not in the habit of doing them guess what they're harder to do. It's harder to get until they habit of doing something new because it doesn't feel comfortable to yet you haven't created the neural. Pathways that say this is what you automatically do. Your brain is going to resist you doing this new thing the process of creating new habits requires you acting despite the discomfort with the example of decluttering your home or creating an organization system in your home or cleaning schedule creating those systems is the easy part following through on those systems uh-huh is the challenging part. So how do we create the feelings that we need to motivate us to take the actions that will lead to the result that we want well. It's not going to begin with the thought that once I achieved that result then I can feel better. You have to start feeling better right now. You have to start creating better feelings right now. In the present moment I think a lot of this begins with self love because if you believe that you are worthy of love that you who are worthy of being healthy that you are deserving then you're going to create a positive feeling you're going to create a feeling of self love and then based on self love is going to be easier for you to drink half your body weight water or to exercise three times. As a week or to make better eating choices as you come from a place of self love it's going to be easier for you to want to take care of the things in your home. If you believe that you are deserving of clean and Organiz home when you get home from work and it's time to follow through on your plan to organize the closet and you're tired out of love for yourself and out of love for your family you're going to do the things to declare your home or to organize the closet or to follow through on the cleaning schedule that you've created. If you come from a place of self love if you will know that getting enough done is not a prerequisite to being enough. You'll know that you are enough just as you are. If you've been creating a motion spaced on the thought that you will feel better in the future that you can be happy once you've achieved achieved goal then you're likely creating present emotions of discouragement disappointment stress overwhelm fear desperation. What I want you to know is that you don't have to feel this way and filling? This way is not going to motivate it you to achieve the goal so if you think about feelings as the motivation to get to where you WanNa be and you understand that you get to create emotions by what you think then you can begin the hard work of creating beliefs and thoughts about yourself that come from the place of love that create love that create present day positive emotions like happiness appreciation gratitude self worth commitment self-confidence. All of these emotions are the emotions that are going to motivate you to take the the actions that you really want to take in your life things that are going to allow you to give yourself love so this week I want you to practice generating happier emotions emotions that will create motivation. I want you to ask yourself. What do I need to think and believe in order to create the emotion of happiness the emotion of self love the emotion of gratitude the emotion of commitment or whatever positive emotion it is that you want to generate this week to move you closer Sir to whatever it is that you want to achieve anytime? You're not getting the result you want or you feel like you're stock or you're feeling desperate or discouraged. I want you to remember that you get to create motivation and you get to create it. When you think thoughts that create positive emotions now like I mentioned earlier this does not mean that you're supposed to feel happy all of the time and in fact if you are feeling happy all of the time you're probably not in a healthy place because you're not allowing yourself to experience experienced negative emotions but it is important that you understand that your emotions are always created by your thoughts and if you believe that you are going to be happy in the future or you're going to feel better in the future wants something changes then you are creating aiding present day negative emotion and that type of negative emotion? My friend is completely optional and it's not going to create the result you want. Creating motivating emotions takes work but the more you practice it the better you're going to get added it and the easier. It's going to become when you take authority over your emotions. You become empowered to really create whatever you want if you believe that emotions are the result of your circumstances or you blame your current circumstances a person or situation or a job or the amount of money that you currently earn or oh for filling a negative emotion or believe the in the future when that circumstance changes that you'll be able to feel better. You're putting yourself in a very disempowering empowering place because you're giving away your power to feel better to somebody or something outside of you. You don't have to do that anymore. This week. I want you to practice going out and generating happiness because you can create it the last thing I wanna leave you with this. This the human experience is about experiencing the negative and the positive to have a deep and fulfilling life. You have to be willing to experience all of the feelings the good and the bad so the next time someone asks you what you want. Most out of life want you to think about whether you want your response to be. I just want to be happy or if your answer is really more complex than that and I just want to mention that I am a life coach coach and so of all of this sounds great and like what I'm saying and you want to create more of this in your life. You want to live a more empowered life but you're not sure how to apply what you're learning once you to know that I can help. I mostly do private coaching. My schedule. Joel is pretty full right now but I do a few spots open for private clients. I also try to make time for three to five coaching consultation calls a week so if you want to chat with me over free call I'd be happy to help you figure out where to go to get started applying some of this in in your own life. There's no obligation whatsoever but if you're curious about what it's like to be coached by me go ahead and go to my website Cassandra Massey Dot com and you'll see where you can schedule on the site so going check it out and schedule time for us to talk. I'd love to be able to show you how to start using this information and start generating the motivating emotions to create the results that you deeply desire in your life okay beautiful that is it for this week. Go Out and create a happy day and I will see you next week for our next episode of the.
Lakeland's Born & Bread Bakehouse; Florida Bee Farm
"Takes three days so when you've messed up Crisanto you've just gotTa give time time there's no part of what we do that you can rush you have to be very patient and when you mess up you have to be able to say I've got tomorrow and community in the Sunshine State around the block the bakeries best advertising just might be it's instagram account at born and bred nfl where more than fifty thousand followers salivate or fruit or a survives in grains as well and so we try to take an strip down what they think bread is two three ingredients and how do I do this with three ingredients emmys Zach the baker in two thousand Fifteen Jennifer started selling at a local farmer's market selling out before the mark even opened today she runs Lakeland absolutely free and that way each episode will download automatically to your phone are mobile device Goto Zest podcast dot com and click on how photos of her breads pastries savory breakfast sandwiches and more many aboard and breads recipes use local honey as she explained Suzanne producer Delete Cologne I love bread I feel like it's my favorite food group yeah do you feel hey if you're listening on your computer or you clicked a link from social media thank you for listening we're glad you're here and would love for you to subscribe to listen to a podcast we're continuing our special coverage of honeybees is a special reporting collaboration with W USF news fruit Gumy's for the kids organic coffee and more available in supermarkets health food stores or online at site and box dot com like bread gets the respect it deserves I mean it's free in a basket on a restaurant table you know I think that's difficult I think it's education is born and bred bake house which has become a well known destination for Florida foodies the bakery is open only twice a week and Kraus's regularly lineup benefits of the health that bread could give us so taking bread like what we have solely fermented it's fully reliant on what I call the mother also eleven it's the same it is the most shared food in any culture every single culture has bread and something that is unique to them what I find Jennifer Spur was looking for a change from the fashion industry when she decided to study the art of baking bread after an apprenticeship with my so important as we think about the way that food culture should should or could change in the United States compared to what you see maybe in other countries and so when I think about bread mm for dinner which is so it's so accessible to eat because it's familiar it's bread it's doughy but at the same time when we think about baking bread that mix and creating the the mother for that specific bread and so this creates almost like what yogurt beneficial to our gut with having that bacteria and support for Zest podcast comes from site and Bhakkar brand natural foods like cereals oils oatmeal energy bars gluten free Africa's growing up on a wonder bread or what isn't any basket at a restaurant or most restaurants anyway has kind of steered us away from appreciating not only the art but the come with us to a wildly popular bakery in Lakeland that loves to use honey in their pastries and take a tour of Florida beef arm at my time my mental health and so if you slow down just a little bit in life sometimes and maybe it's standing in line for your favorite bakery maybe it is bull is maybe the first part of how do we simplify life again how do I make time for something that could be enjoyable or that could be a benefit to not only me and feel really intimidating so why is that what are we what are we doing wrong I think having a culture of society where everything is readily available our culture it's only fed off of the Houston natural environment that is here in our bakery or in the air and the humidity the same way that you can find us on grapes going over to your mom's house in the afternoon it's we don't feel as if we can slow down as much to have hobbies like baking bread and when we think about just being accessible and livelihood but the food culture and the United States and beyond that revolve around these BS and revolve around slowing down and respecting things a little bit more and era it does the same thing with sour dough bread it slows down it has bacteria it breaks gluten which has got such a bad name these days but it's a beautiful thing when used properly honey we think of sugar when it comes to baking but there's a lot you can do with honey so so talk to me about some of the products you guys are making here today we use it as much as meanwhile be month it's really important for people to realize just about the importance of what bees provide for our culture from a standpoint of everything can't be readily available thing that can only come from education let's talk about the role that bees and honey play at born and bred tell me about some of your products that use we trust often were getting the orange blossom variety because that's very familiar in this area but my personal favorite honey might be buckwheat right really good points and I love the idea of not needing a nap after you enjoy some bread you're right every culture has bread I mean last night my kids were asking me for non block every weekend why are you passionate about being here in Lakeland why not move to Miami or Tampa bright lights big city you know I pies for the Thanksgiving bake something we have coming up and yesterday we made the chocolate and pecan honey pie and so it's like chocolate a notch base at the bottom I'm an putting some cardamom pods orange zest cinnamon stick a little bit of lemon juice and making this incredible syrup that you're like I don't know why I've had honey before we can and breads I love dressing something with honey bring out a flavour that you wouldn't necessarily think about with that ingredient alone taking orange blossom vanilla bean pastry cream but having these things together is like it's just like a party in my mouth and so it's really fun utilizing it in different ways we're making testing I just take flour water and salt create a culture from the flour and water and slowly from our dough and it takes to make our so like thirty something hours in total from and if we don't protect the society of bees or what the producing in value honey and their life more there's such an important part of what we think about not only it allows you to enjoy bread and your body to enjoy bread better so you don't leave after having maybe the type of bread that we're making feeling oh my gosh I just can't eat another thing I don't know why feel really kind of getting the word out I think one thing that born and bred has done well is created an experience for any customer who comes here and so thinking outstanding in line it goes by very quick if you've never sit in it I promise especially these days it's not that bad to coming in and the smell and the way that we've chosen to decorate promotes and supports people like me it's a great city to be in definitely Robin will appreciate you saying that because she's a Lakeland girl I better all the hard work and then we get to reap the benefits what's your favorite type of honey to bake with and where do you all get the honey so we have a couple of different local purveyors it's GonNa surprise people in the next five years and the amount of people who are moving here and what people are willing to do in just the overall entrepreneurship and the way that the city made from honey bees that are are living off the buckwheat plant and it creates this very dark amber colored honey it's very rich it's not for everyone and just the texture of the pecan Pie layered on top of this gosh like I'm really helpful this makes our menu it's a party in your mouth how can you even they're smaller ones honeybee and then the other one is like the grandparent of one of the girls who work here both established businesses both the Lakeland which is the mid size town I was just looking online and food and wine featured you as a must visit bread bakery and you've got lines around sean media and I resented at times I wish I could get off of it but it is a great tool for small businesses that I really appreciate what's a lesson that baking has taught us king up bins with fifty pounds of flour or does so it's very labor intensive you stay busy well this is why people lined up around the block on the weekend because you've done role that social media has played in your business I mean baking bread is as old as time but now there's this new technology that's bowl two years ago when we first teamed up with the National Honey Board we created this and now it's been on the menu every single week since it's a twice baked croissant base very patient and when you mess up you have to be able to say I've got tomorrow and croissant dough takes three days so when you've messed up crisanto you'd and then instead of using high fructose corn syrup or corn syrup of any any sort which we don't use in the bakery we took honey and replace that and the flavor of the chocolate and honey together if you think about what makes any city great it's the people and the people here just so special and it's in a great location between Orlando and Tampa but like space the way the music that we have and just how approachable and Homey and welcoming feels it's almost an instinct community and with social media I think that what we do is flaky on the drier sense of the texture of the croissant not being super soft and flaky it's like a little bit it's really amazing I think you just have to have it I do you can apply to other areas of your life as as cheesy as it sounds maybe just giving time time there is no part of what we do that you can rush you we thought about for about five years of my life leaving and there's something about like that just became magnetic and when you think about doing something like baking if the people find you on Instagram I could feel my clothes getting tighter when I just look at your instagram pictures they are gorgeous they are mouth-watering talk to me about the aching is from maybe the norm that we think about with like cupcakes or cakes it is very labor intensive it's long hours on your feet heavy lifting bending down it's gotta give time time okay well thank you for giving us your time what's going on in the kitchen today honey wise we've got the honeymoon pie which is sure that sounds civilized yeah okay we got a taste this cheers okay take the best of what we have which is what everyone does on social media we have hard days but that's our best and we allow someone to know what it would be like to experience what one but this like caramel flavor that comes with it and this depth of earth is so unique that I think it's it's so it's fun for someone to try if you're here in a Saturday or a Wednesday would be like and there's something that draws someone in I don't know social media is I think for born bread is the biggest reason why were here do you work out you as this question often like what in the world you're all skinny or you're all fit what they don't think they realized just how different this type of like begging to be eaten Oh my gosh and I'm willing to oblige all right let's dig into this just pick up the whole thing that's if you don't like one of those I wouldn't recommend you don't eat this always give it a try so it's got honey syrup using orange blossom we've got an Almond Franjo pain which is technically an almond cream Volvo powdered sugar just a tiny bit mainly for the look of it it's perfect it's perfection it's got the Golden Brown crust the crumble free beautiful just to have it to I can't sit here and listen to talk about anymore should we go in the kitchen and give it a taste okay sorry please don't burn yourself sorry the crumble on top is Ariana Grande Dame maybe sure we're going for popstars on the honey lemon pie twice baked croissants is out of the oven smelling so good and now you're dust you were able to do what we do it gets the name out it's why people drive from Miami and say I just came all the way from Miami but I I contribute a lot I mean the cream though it's something so you're not eating at saying Oh that's definitely almond what is that texture a website the zest podcast dot com next put on your beekeeper suit and come see what's involved like Michael McDonald needs to be in here we're going old school okay and the lemon cream is kind of tart but but subtle we take ground almonds and then we make it from scratch nothing comes out of a can so if you've ever had can almond cream is definitely not that cherry flavor it's very natural tastes subtle but targets Adele maybe the lemon cream is like the Adele of this then what does that uh looking at any town being more of a village everyone needs a good bakery and one was missing that and it just became this I can't leave it's only flowers and he sells jars of honey on the honor system tracy says there were so many bees landing on her suit at one point it felt like she was standing in overwhelming the croissant is like hey I'm here I'm still great don't forget about me yes if there is a Mariah Carey in this picture it's definitely the croissant yeah the croissant is like Mariah Carey the filling being inside we put a little bit more almond cream only to hold like a pie crumble on top and so it's called Huntington Pi it's baked again leaving it very like crispy in maintaining a thriving apiary zest contributor Tracy Johnson visited Florida B farm in clearwater where the owner Jim Quinlan is running on their legs they have these like little bags they store pollen and there are different colors depending on what they've been gathering it looks so cool but it's you know I have a lot of people almonds but even then somehow not so almond green we make a house made lemon curd we close it with to this has been kind of sliced in half they did they did something right but we do take a croissant that's about a day old allows it to dry a little bit we surp- it within infused honey syrup that uses orange cardamom and cinnamon this Labor's aren't predominate is going back and forth for highway and if you get when you suited up you can get right up next to him and you can see all their What he calls a mini ego farm on his ten acres in the heart of a residential subdivision Jim keeps around a dozen hives he also grows beef so basically what we do is we take stale croissant? I don't really love using that term because it sounds direct derogatory or maybe if heard me say that'd be like don't talk about me like that make you you're like you're the beyond say of Lakeland I'll take it that was Jennifer smersh speed troll the temperature flapping their wings inside the hive what a brilliant creature is normally won't even bother but see that's their flight paths does your recipe right you did something right Oh my gosh it's so funny game it's still flaky of course on on its own is great and then the rest is just gravy your gentle with the bees they don't bother you they're actually just a joy to watch when the bees get ready to swarm rainstorm every time something touches me I'm going to be jump don't jump to be calm and relax king with Delia Cologne Jennifer also shared honey pastry recipe that you can try it home find born bread's recipe for Bach lavar croissants on it isn't democracy that's what I like about the Beezer just they're they're very intelligent I think they're smarter than a Lotta people give them credit for they know they know come out on these tours and stuff and they're pretty nervous and I just talked to him and once you get the suit on you're totally protected and and there and if you obese right they they don't leagues it's not that they can't queen dies sometimes they will and that's a bad situation hi or whatever sometimes I've seen two or three of them so the bees will check all that out and then they'll go back to the high tell the other scouts how to get there and what they think of it thank you don't want to get in their way to their flight path and if you can't seem to good but sometimes when the sun's just read you can see it looks like a superhighway uh-huh nutty but it's not what is it it's mild it's mild it's sweet but not too sweet taste the honey and I can taste the lemon but they're not they vote basically with the intensity of this dance they do that the dance tells them how to get to the hive based on Sun you know and the sons is changed a lot of communication to they also tell the other bees how to get to the pollen sources of nectar and This wagle dances I mean there's no absolutes choosy to Queens but times I'll leave two or three of them and and they will they will swarm off at half the listen to do so they can get in and out of there as much as they want the bees aren't stuck in the boxes stuck in the box they can just come and go okay what's best for the hive based on what they really think is the best hive it's it's just fascinating eventually they're all doing the same dance and then they when it's real hot out you'll see him they've been doing a lot of it lately to see a big ball underneath because they don't want to have too much inside the mix too hot think of it and so they all basically go around and check out all the different ones that they found and they kind of vote and come up with a consensus with a bunch of new queens which is Kinda cool and these little queen cells are there and when they hatch they will fight to the death until you have and then you take a hot knife and you and you basically cut the edges of the so it's all exposed the honey all the bees off of it I joy life they'll just keep packing it in so you take honey from they'll just recall it it's not a big deal to them so they don't get angry but that doesn't happen often and that's all they I mean they just constantly do they don't fill it up and say okay we're done we got this all fill sit around and I'll show you are pulling out and we can look at it Wow look at that yeah that's all honey so basically I would wait until this is all fall up here right you you you blow them all I do I use a blower pretty natural and then I put them in a box and we take them take them to where we do the all eating oh yeah excuse them eating any they are eating honey this is the brood box this is pretty interesting so what's the job of the queen laying eggs and asserted only one legs but there are other female hopefully you know where the lady aids they're getting a little bit agitated so I'll just lecture notes might be able to see a b being born suspended and all the honey comes out and basically when you're done you just bring it back to the hive and they're still like wet with hunting and you put it back on extraction take the camping's off the honey and then we put them in a machine that it's like a centrifuge and expense him spins him and you'll get pieces of and stuff and so just a screening process how much is honey is it very expensive I'm Robin sussing him and this is the zest citrus seafood Spanish flavor and southern charm the zest celebrates cuisine Tracy Johnson Tracy's blog is called Tracy and sunshine city we have video of the beef farm and more honeybee stories at W. USF dot org they have different jobs at the alternate through life little honey on there and this is all eggs that was Jim Quinlan of Florida B farm with zest contributor when you take the hunter yeah they do they're not too happy about it because you're in their home and defending it you know but but they're all it's a little bit different every even my sometimes I'll have dark honey some rooms all blake honey depending on what's looming at the time and within themselves org slash honeybees that's it for today last week I had one of my most favorite interviews spoke to Dr Jamie Ellis of the University of Florida aren't you so the honey that comes off in the centrifuges what gets jarred uh-huh and is there any filtration process or is it just straight from this year's this is these are male as
Kinda Cute Ep. 12 Brawn-y Bros are the New Hot Models, Ansel Elgort Wants More Friends, & Timothee Chalamet is a Bagel Boy Dream
"Then and on kind of cute we discuss articles from the cut and my general pop culture musings and let me tell you guys today we're kind of front loading with this intro because I have a lot of it's kind of cute right hello and welcome back to Kinda cute if you're new here welcome I'm your host friend or the Internet's and he's officially dating Alexis and this was confirmed for me by at Alexis her noah that's an instagram account dedicated shout out to Alexis her noah sorry it reads us Alex is heard Noah which just throws me off but Alexis her noah shoutout couldn't be happier I have a bona petite update for you as well I forgot to mention in my last episode when I was talking about Claire Sophists a hot tin party where when they named their hot ten top ten new restaurants of the year they throw a party when people from all the restaurants come in as of Q. Being cut and so with my really abysmal graphic design skills I thought I was going to be able to take the logo from the kite and and kill you know so that was part one of Wyatt's named kind of cute but really I thought I was being clever with you know the first three little youtube facts so Alexis Ren who is a sometimes youtuber I think she has thirteen videos on youtube and she was actually discovered as a model through Tumbler A to uncovering the back of their relationship and man did they do some investigative journalism way above any level I do for this podcast it forever because even if the cut doesn't keep existing this podcast is going to keep ongoing people so you guys know I love me some jokes care okay moving on some Youtube Gosper you guys who has no I love my youtube goes to -tarian so maybe they'll have some fish tacos up in there who knows I'll probably just get wasted on threes brewery beer and but extended my trip to go home Sunday morning so it incorporate that into my podcast logo that didn't work but Kinda cute stuck and you know this way I'm not hanging my hat on the when she was the we age of fifteen years old which is kind of disturbing considering shoes wearing a black street bikini but she is dating Noah's into neo so I guess he's no longer that I bought tickets to go to one of the events at B. A.'s best weekend ever it's their first year doing a whole weekend of it they usually have this thing called the they hey Sheridan I thought it was just perfect timing and I had to buy a ticket because I'm such a boon and petite fan and I bought tickets to go to the Cellini and Rick Martinez event at threes brewery and go honest which I probably spent way too much money on considering I don't think they're going to have vegetarian tacos and I am a PC sorry if you go back in the episodes I talk about how I tell everyone that I took a Tequila shot with him once and I just wanted to let you guys know that stranger things season for is officially happening and mainly just to account for the fact that I might not have made my flight if I had done it that night I also have croaky is that much little rainbow ones that Alex More Youtube Goss I used to religiously watch an influence there called Carly Bible and she looks like a little mini Kardashian she's and they serve food and it looks really cool but I was like you know I think I wanna go to like a more intimate event since actually going to be in New York that weekend for my little sister's twenty first I am one hundred percent that bitch who says only got so key you like all the time I realize how annoying that is and if I'm not saying only about so cute I'm saying Cellini always wears an Elitism as well Elena you recall from our Taylor Swift episode recaps so I'm thinking about wearing that then I'm like is that too obvious fan girl do I ooh adorable she's really good at makeup she wears he's really out there closed that I would never wear it's like very fashion Nova with like hoochie like X. who chief extra sparkly I loved I loved that look so today I'm sorry yesterday James Kennedy posted a photo and in the photo recognize the guy as her ex boyfriend Brett cap now Brett cap used to be an all of her youtube videos he was so thirsty for that fame always felt like he was definitely kind of leaching off carly to get her followers and he had his own youtube channel that he started after the after they were dating fled to their break-up if it's juicy drama let me know but I do know that I confirmed that he is going to be on season eight of banner it's an interesting turn of events because I think the magic of inner pump rules has always been that they were friends in real life and they were friends before they were approached by the show and that gives rules so I'm very into new breath being added into it and it's clear that this guy guys fame thirsty so I'm really excited to see where that goes but confirm that he's on this season I did a little bit of research and there was a article of an interview with Jack's when he was at the opening of like guacamole always seem a little transparent to me and it's not that you came across his Dushi per se I just found him kind of annoying and I just like carly could do better and I don't know what eventually ace and he says I've only hung out with a couple of them Brent is one of the guys that I really liked on the show that kind of joined our cast he just moved here from New Jersey he was in need of a job he's a youtuber but needed part-time money so you wanted to bartend so I'm kinda teaching him a little bit about that believe it or not I'm teaching him which is kind of weird because I'm a terrible bartender I am crediting this podcast for that our last upstate is that a vice media acquired refinery twenty nine today and and she is placed triple A. Aka Annabel and I just think both of them would make really great caroline calloway's so if they get cost but then there's ten years and I finally get to teach people mainly I just thought this was hilarious because he called him Berendt his name is one hundred percent Brett but and I thought this was notable because vox recently merged with New York Mag and the article from the New York Times says box media acquires New York magazine Chronicler she was also in lady bird she plays the best friend in dumpling and Molly Gordon I just saw her in book smart that's Very Jacks for you another caroline calloway update she's officially in talks for a movie deal and I'm just throwing in the is it a sort of authenticity that a lot of the other shows don't have so I really think it's going to be interesting that they're throwing in three or four new cast members this year I also thought it was hilarious because of the highbrow and lowbrow and as I've said before the cut is a part of New York Mag which is why this is notable for this podcast and I like to think this podcast chronicler of the highbrow and lowbrow mostly low brow but you know and again that's all of our updates say I told you it's going to be a little lengthy onto our first article of the day my girl Marie load is back she's written Housi- is finally manifested a date with her celebrity crush she writes a hornets character and it was when I first had love for him in that movie came out in two thousand four so sorry Chelsea I had beat by about eight years but when all said and I just have to shout out Maria again by ending this article with the following now she's with the object of her Horny tweeting affection Housley your powers are really ever sitting them thirsty things I'm usually like sending them Oh what do you think of Taylor Swift's new album just hoping that they're going to respond to my wacky as DM's usually they don't I would really love Odio rush or Molly Gordon's name to be thrown in the hat to play her please look them up if you're not familiar day rush was an dumpling I was tweeted back in two thousand thirteen but my favorite tweet of hers is do you think Peters got down on one knee and said surprise bitch but I will have fried chicken in the form of a chick fillet chicken nuggets that I won't be able to eat but they'll be there so I also looked into the I wanted to talk about this one part it says secret to hosting a good party and I felt like this was relevant to me this week because I'm actually throwing a party beat with your hands not orders or anything Cillian prissy I mean whole lobsters and on the half shell beef bones and fried chicken all served on wrong get it girl may this be a lesson to us all amen system next article the it's ineffective marketing technique so some of her tweets that she tweeted about Evan Peters include the following seriously have impeded help beatrice in and I thought this one star review was really interesting it says a woman wearing a chef's uniform can only assume this at the Russian base with the big boys of broad welcome to the new frontier of plus size male modeling by Matthew Schneier Cookies and Evan Peters and then as Murray writes finally the spell she cast who success petition for Evan Peters to date me and universe and being the first one to notice them thinking I'm really ahead of the Times but Evan Peters most illustrious role to date was as spongebob in sleepover he was a truly endearing lied about hot celebrity as a common practice by many of us on the Internet now I would just like to interject say that I prefer a DM right into the sleds instagram but I'm not into I just WanNa know if this is about the chef who this article is about if someone can vouch on that that would be incredible and I don't want Sushi's referring to when he proposed to Evan Roberts which they are now no longer together I think they're each other's wanted only will eventually get back together so I'm sorry house either in done this is another win for manifestation and I will keep that manifestation on my list that says I will meet and befriend notice to neo 'cause dreams don't die glamorous chef who gives beef as a present by Sarah's spellings now I'm not really going to get into this too much but this is about the lady who owns B do began when inhibitions our laws but I would just like to apologize in advance to my party goers that hold lobsters and on the half shell will not be present at my party people for everyone to enjoy I always love a party that gets a bit messy everyone's ambitions are lost and that's when the fun truly begins now I very much agree that parties weakened which honestly if you live in the West Palm beach area and WanNa come hit me up does that sound desperate gap maybe but I would love to have you so this article talks about the big boys of modeling and it talks about how IMG models news division brings in a comfortable six figures per added a lot of work to this party and I'm kind of excited about it so you know everyone's welcome but she says the secret to host and good party is an array of champagne and Martinis and food I think you're flash in the PAN on this one and again I would just like to get myself another pat on the back because clearly I like to be the one responsible for putting things out in the interests in in New York and I just really was kind of giving me Comoro Simmons Vibes the whole time Asian like Ronnie paper and there's another Guy Matt working he says how he wanted to take a team stop making me attracted to alleged sociopaths and accused murderers I'm a fucking liar I'm so in love with Evan peers so whipped cream whipped as fuck I year I'm sorry the most successful of their model of their newest division brings in six figures per year and we're talking about Zach Meco is in stark contrast to what the women's side had the women's side had like one little sad warm bath in like a little white table that looked like somewhere you would get waxed and was a chef who is speaking so rudely to the people participating in the event not sure if they were guests of the event or the people helping with the event but it was completely unacceptable how they are being spoiled will maybe he could solve this for me buy coming on Kinda cute he could be my first guest Zach I just loved that they call it the Braun drag crime and it has a three point five star rating on Yelp Yelp isn't everything but I just thought that one star review on the first page was kind of interesting next up models and if he suddenly dropped fifty pounds he wouldn't have clients anymore so I went and looked at Zach macos instagram he looks like a little burly man he looks like series when that was also kind of disturbing because he went from playing her like very extreme love interest to her brother which mentally was hard for me to get my head around it game and called them like bears tweaks but I I don't know about that sentence he says he doesn't earn less than the linke and her brother her brother's a huge Russian fan he had a full did a fulbright in Russia he took us to a Russian bath and it was one of the strangest six don't the only one I really can ever get to respond to me is Spencer Pride And I think he just does that so that we will buy more of his Spencer Pratt Daddy crystals and sorry and I also love this article was photos at the top were shut at a Russian bath shot at a Russian bath and when I was in Chicago with Elaine we're here I didn't think I was late I follow them and they bring me over to a burnt-out outlet and they're like this is the one you have to replace so this next Senate says that he is seven years her stylist perfection I loved Anson Bibi rather baby driver so this article there were
Getting Over a Divorce or Break-Up | FRIDAY FIELD NOTES
"You're a man of action you live to the fullest, compress, your fears and boldly charge your own path when life knocks you down you get back up. One more time every time you were not easily deterred beating rugged zillion strong. This is your life. This is we are this is you will become at the end of the day. And after all is said and done you can call yourself a man gentleman. What is going on a day money is Brian the clerk? I n d host and founder of this podcast and movement that is order of man, I want to welcome back to the Friday field notes. This is a show where you get to hear for me. Some my thoughts and ideas and inspirations from our Facebook group in from our exclusive brotherhood the iron council. We also have an interview show if you're not aware of that which is released every Tuesday where were interviewing the world's most successful men. New York Times bestselling authors, scholars athletes, warriors entrepreneurs any man that has acquired an achiever some. Level of success in his life. And then we have our Wednesday show, which is our asked me anything where we're fielding questions. From again, our Facebook group and our exclusive brotherhood the iron council. I'm going to get into this one pretty quick today. I do want to just make one very quick announcement regarding our exclusive brotherhood the iron council. This is a group of men five hundred men strong where we are having discussions and thoughts and ideas and challenges, and we're pushing each other to achieve and accomplish more in our lives. And we've got the topic set for the month of may, which is called the wild, man. This is a hat tip to the story iron, John. And of course, Robert Bligh's book iron John as well. We're going to talk about how a man taps into his wild side has wild nature and how he can get more in tune with who he is as a man in his masculine energy. And all of that stuff. It's important because we have in a way been domesticated and sedated in. Our lives, and this is a call to tap back into that. So we've got a lot going on with some challenges assignments some ideas in ways that we're going to push each other a little bit harder to again tap into this masculine side. If you're interested in joining us in the iron council, then head to order of men dot com slash iron council. Order amend dot com slash iron council. You can check it out. And make sure you get signed up before me. So you can get all the benefits that we're gonna be offering for the rest of this month, and of course into next month as well. All right. That's all I've got by wave announcement. Let's get into the discussion. This is something. I haven't talked a whole lot about. But I believe it's quite common. And I have seen a lot in the Facebook group about guys who are either going through a breakup with a girlfriend or even going through a divorce, and I thought it share with us, some ideas. Now, I'm not the expert. I don't have this all figured out. I've gone through my own heartbreak in my life, and I can share what's worked for me. And what's worked for two other men that I work with and that's what I. Plan on doing today to give you some tips and strategies for overcoming this break-up, and look is I know it's hard. I know it's a challenge. I know it's something that most of us are likely to face at some point in our lives. I wish it wasn't the case. But it is things don't work out the way that we always see those things working out. Whether it's the fault of ourselves or the fault of our significant other or probably somewhere in between, regardless. It's important that we learn how to overcome these things as effectively efficiently and quickly as possible. So we can get into life and do all that we want to do all that we want to accomplish. And then ultimately move on for the next woman to come into our lives. And that's what I want you to know, it may not feel like a now, especially if you're in the middle of a separation or divorce, but there is going to be somebody else that comes into your life. And as I went through my separation with my wife, what really changed the tide for me was the realization that I wanted to become the best catch for the next woman to come into my life. And when I had that thought. And I let go of trying to win my wife's approval or win. Her back is really when I was able to get into the things that I'm going to share with you today, which ultimately saved our marriage now, again, it's not always going to work like that. Sometimes you're able to salvage relationship and other times, you're not. But either way this is what you need to know either way following the tips, and the strategies and tactics that I give you today will help you move on or we'll help you be more capable man, if you are to get back into the relationship with with a woman in your life. All right. So let's break this down a little bit. And then we'll give you those tips and strategies, and maybe you've got some other ideas and thoughts that you wanna share and please do connect with me on Instagram or Facebook, or wherever you're doing the social media thing. I'm on Twitter as well Twitter Instagram is at Ryan, Mick ler. Facebook is Facebook dot com slash groups slash order of man. All right, guys. Let's get into this. If. If you've gotten to the point in your relationship where it is over. She is told you it's over you want it to be over whatever the situation is number one is you've got to sever ties. I just got a question earlier this week from a gentleman who has gone through a separation with his girlfriend of I believe it was two and a half years, and what he said is that he's still living with her because of some financial obligations or lease or some responsibilities that way, and I can't help. But think that's a huge mistake. If you're going through a separation, and it is officially over not. Hey, we're going to see if this works or try it out, but it is a fishery over then you need to sever ties sever ties financially sever ties physically emotionally get rid of the phone numbers. Don't be driving by her place or her house move out or have her move out. But this is a relationship that is no longer working. And therefore it has to be transactional. Meaning that you. Have to separate all ties. There's a lot of financial reasons for this. I won't get into the financial and legal ramifications of that you can talk with your attorney if you're going through a divorce or that route. But more importantly than that, there's a lot of emotional attachment in baggage when you decide to keep one foot in the door and one foot out the door, and you're trying to win her back, and you're trying to see what she's doing almost in a way borderline stocking her I get it. I understand most men I think are competitive by nature. I think we're possessive by nature. And so we feel like if we're in the midst of a relationship that maybe we've lost something that is ours while maybe that's true. You've got to learn to let go it's not easy. It's not comfortable, especially you've been if you've been with this woman for any amount of time. But I'm telling you for your own sanity and wellbeing. Sever the ties get rid of the phone numbers. Move out separate the finances out. This is a little bit more difficult. If there's a child involved. And that's a whole other conversation. But if there's not a child involved, and there's no other why hate to I hate to use the word baggage in the in the context of children at certainly not baggage. But if there's other considerations will say that that needed to be taken into into count then. Well, you've got to do what you gotta do. But like I said if there isn't any of that. And then you've got to separate those those ties as quickly as possible that's number one number two realize that this is going to take time. All right. You've been with us woman for amount of time. You've got a lot of memories together. You've got a lot of things that have happened in the past. You've done a lot of things together. It's going to take time. And if you have an unrealistic expectation about how long this is going to take or you continue to insert yourself back into her life. This is going to take longer and longer and longer. It's like ripping off the band aid. Just rip it off. It's going to be painful, but we want it to be painful for the shortest amount of time possible. So guys give. Yourself time understand that it's okay to be upset. It's okay. To be down. I think that's natural. Of course, when you lose a relationship with somebody you love, but the more realistic you are about how long it will take the better off. You're going to be give yourself an opportunity to grieve and to feel sorrow into feel bad not so bad. And so upset that you can live your life that you can't do the things that you wanna do that you can engage with other people. But enough to realize that this is normal. It's healthy to go through this process. You don't need to hide it necessarily. You don't need to wallow in an either. But again point number two, very simply is just to give yourself the time. Give yourself the freedom to be able to be upset about this situation. So that's number two giving yourself time. Number three is redirecting your allocation. And guys this is where I wanna spend the bulk of the conversation with you today because I think inevitably we understand that we've got to cut those ties, and we also. Understand that it's going to take time. But what I see a lot of guys doing is wallowing around and feeling bad and sorry for themselves, and they're not able to go back out with their friends and their family and get back into work and some slip into depression, and even worse, become suicidal. And I think the best way to avoid this downward spiral of negativity in your life. If you're dealing with a divorce or a separation or a break-up is number three redirect your attention. I tell guys it's going to take time and attention when I'm talking about redirecting your attention right now. Most of your attention is focused on her. What did I do wrong? How can I win her back? Where did I go wrong? Where did I mess up in? Well, certainly, I think you probably should take that into consideration. If you just stew on it. And that's all you're thinking about this becomes a destructive practice rather than a constructive. One. That's designed to edify you to lift you. Talk with a lot of guys who talk with me and ask about, depression, and anxiety and suicidal thoughts. And although I'm not a medical professional. Please understand that I think it's very very difficult to feel down. If you're actively engaged in a project, and I believe that we as men are designed to be working with our minds working with our back working with our hands and really engaging in a meaningful and significant project, and what I would tell you is that if you're going through a separation right now that you need to learn to make yourself the project, you might be at rock-bottom right now, you might feel like you're at rock-bottom anyways. And this is a perfect perfect opportunity for you to wipe your slate clean and start all over. So you need to take an inventory of who you are. And where you are. And how you're showing up and how effective your being not just in your relationship, but every facet of your life. And then you need to start working on these. Things and I've identified seven areas that I think anybody who's going through this situation. And by the way, you should be working on these seven items before breaking up, even if your relationship is perfect in blissful and wonderful. You should still be working on these things. And if you do ironically enough, you'll be less likely in my opinion to have to go through a separation or divorce because you take care of this. When you lose your way with these things, I think you're significantly more likely to find yourself in a negative situation with your significant other. So let's break these down, and we'll talk about them specifically. And then of course, if you have additional ideas, we can continue the conversation on social media number one when it comes to making yourself the project understand that you've gotta find a way to exercise every single day and to start getting your nutrition in check when I talk with guys about where to start men will come to me and ask for self improvement. Itself. Help advice in wonder where to start my advice to you is that it starts in the gym. It starts in the gym for five six years ago. I was fifty pounds more than I weighed today, but I lost a lot of that weight by going to the gym by getting my nutrition. Right. And what was fascinating about this. Every single element of my life improved because I was going into the gym the virtues and characteristics required to be successful in the gym discipline commitment. Hard work sacrifice all translates perfectly into other facets of your life. I don't care if you're doing strength training. It doesn't matter if you're doing cross fit. It doesn't matter if you're going to some big box gym, it doesn't even matter. If you're going for a run every single day, but your day has to start with exercise not only is it good for the body. But it's good for the mind, and it's good for the soul. So if you're in the midst of a divorce separation. And or a break-up then I want you to write these things down number one, exercise and diet. And I want you to start making a list of the things that you can do on a daily basis that you will implement in your life regarding getting in shape. I'm telling you if you lose five pounds ten pounds fifteen twenty thirty fifty pounds. You're inevitably going to start feeling better physically which will transform the way you're feeling mentally emotionally and spiritually as well. So number one get your exercise in check number to start dealing with your finances. I was a financial planner in another life. I sold my financial planning practice not too long ago. So I don't do much of it anymore. But I cannot even begin to describe how often I see that men are in a bad way in a bad shape with regards to their finances and had they been able to turn that around their life would be significantly different. So are you? Tracking your income. Are you using budgeting? Are you tracking your expenses? Are you making yourself more valuable at work? If you're bringing in more income than you're able to create more opportunities for yourself. It's difficult, especially if you've been in a long term relationship, you might have been co managing the finances or not managing them at all. And so it's difficult now that you have to separate this out. But this is a huge factor of your ability to be successful. As a man is your ability to provide for yourself in this case financially. So by a book on investing by a book on how to do financial planning by a book or take a course or watch YouTube video or listen to a podcast about how to do a basic budget, and where you should be investing and how best to pay off debt all of these are critical critical factors in making yourself the project and ultimately making yourself a success and somebody who can feel proud about who you are. So number to deal with your finances. Number three, hobbies guys. Do not lose your hobbies when I see men get into relationships, and I fell prey to this as well. There were two things to go very very quickly number one was my hobbies. And number two was my friends. We're going to talk about both of those but gentlemen, if you don't have a hobby that engages you physically mentally emotionally. Then you're doing yourself a disservice. There are so many opportunities picking up a guitar learning. How to shoot a gun learning how to shoot a bow and going Bo hunting picking up Jiu jitsu learning how to make knives. I don't really care what the hobby is. Maybe you wanna pick up painting or you wanna pick up woodworking or whatever who knows who knows what it looks like. But what I would suggest to you right now as you're making yourself the project and learning to get over a break-up and learning also had a stand on your own two feet is to engage in as many things. That sound interesting to you. You don't have to pick one and throw your hat in the ring and burn all the boats and say, this is the path I'm going, but you should be trying different things the more. You can try the more likely you're gonna find one or two or three that are going to stick that you're going to want to delve deeper and deeper and deeper into and this is a great way to distract yourself from the sorrow and the heartbreak that comes with going through a separation or divorce or break-up so find a hobby engage in a hobby jump on YouTube or jump on Instagram and see what other people are doing. And I think you'll find a hobby. That sounds at least fascinating to you very very quickly. Take one step then another step, then another step, and I think it's a great way to distract yourself. And it's also a great way to make yourself a more capable man because you have activities that are engaging you and frankly making you more capable all, right? So number three hobbies number four challenge yourself challenge. Yourself men are. Are meant to be challenged. I feel like we are more capable were stronger were better men when there's a challenge or there's an diversity or there's an obstacle in front of us. This could be something as simple as some sort of. Obstacle course race like tough mudder or a Spartan race. This could be speaking in public. This could be performing in public. Doesn't matter. What it is as long as it's challenging and as long as it scares you a little bit. If it challenges you and scares, you it's probably something worth pursuing. And when we find that battle like John elder says deepen, his heart. Every man longs. For a battle to fight an adventure to live in a beauty to rescue. And I'm talking about this first component a battle to fight. What is your battle? What is your challenge? What is your adversity as soon as you find that in it's meaningful in it's significant and it's important to you. Then you are going to more adequately be able to invest your time and your attention and your energy and your resources into that. Thing. And by the way, the unintended benefit of this is that you won't be thinking about your previous relationship is much because you are actively engaged in something that's challenging you in every single way possible and calling upon you to draw on everything that, you know, in order to overcome that adversity that you're facing. So find a challenge find something that's meaningful. Find something that's significant and find something that pushes you men work better under challenges number five educate yourself, pick up some books. Listen to some more podcasts jump on YouTube. There are so many incredible incredible resources where you can get educated on just about any subject out there. This might relate to the challenge that you're working through this might relate to a hobby that you're currently engaged in. It might relate to you trying to improve your finances or you trying to become more fit, by the way. Those are the first. Tips. I gave you but educate yourself those evenings. Don't just sit in front of the TV watching game of thrones. And eaten a big old tub of ice cream like take that time and improve yourself. You're going to feel like shit when you're sitting around and your wallowing in your own self pity? But if you're taking that time to improve yourself to expand your capacity to expand your mind to put new information into the six inches between your ears. You're going to be in a better position. You're not gonna feel down or as depressed, and you're going to give yourself the information education required to improve in your life. So guys educate yourself, and by the way, if you wanna know what you should get yourself in join us. Join us in one of our in one of our groups, whether it's the Facebook group or following me on Instagram or Twitter or joining our brotherhood. The iron council, we will educate you. We will help point you in the right direction, and you will be. To have more knowledge is you do these things number six, spirituality? Now, I happen to be Christian. I believe in God. I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe in the bible. I read scriptures. Not only individually both my family, I pray. And because I have all of these things in my life. I feel like I'm more grounded. I feel like I have a better grasp of what I'm supposed to be doing. I understand in a way, my divine nature that I'm in this temporary negative situation of a break-up, but I can see myself far greater than the next several months for the next several years of feeling bad trying to get over this break-up, find a way to get spiritual. This look different for everybody. I'm not telling you that you have to go to church and start worshipping. Although I believe that will help but find something to do that's going to uplift. You spiritually that's going to put this temporary situation. And it is temporary. I know it does. Don't feel like it. But it is temporary. But take this temporary situation and really frame it in the grand scheme of things that it's just a drop in the bucket, and that although you're going through this difficult time, you will come out of it. Okay. And not only. Okay. If you implement the seven steps I'm sharing with you today that you'll come out of it. Better more capable more self reliance stronger than you were before in a lot of that for me has been because I understand again, my divine nature and why I'm really here on this planet, and why one relationship doesn't define me. And it certainly doesn't break me meditation religion, you name it finding a way to tap into a higher power or something greater and grander than yourself somber six and number seven. I think this might be the most important one here. I don't know. I don't know if it's the most important, but it's certainly a consideration. And that is your friends, right? If you want to redirect your attention, then redirect it to other people, and I told you earlier one of the first things to go when men get into relationships is their friends. So it's going to be difficult. Right right now because you've probably forsaken all of them for the women in your life. And now that she's no longer in your life. You don't know where to turn? This is why tell guys you need to have a band of brothers prior to finding yourself in a divorce or separation or a break-up is because when that day happens if you don't have anybody to turn to you're going to find yourself in a bad position. That was me when I went through my separation with my wife, I hadn't seen my buddies for for four or five years, and they were out doing their own thing they had moved on. And it took a lot of effort and humility to reach back out to them to engage with them and to be included yet again in their circle. But that's what I was willing to go through. I don't want you to have to go through that. And that's why I tell you do this now before you find yourself in that position. But if it's too late for you. There's opportunities to find friends go to meet up dot com and find an activity that you're interested in go to jujitsu go on a hike. Join business networking groups, rotary and business network international. These are always to go where the people are. And then you can develop relationships outside of the one relationship that you had and the one relationship that you relying upon so have you earlier, so find those friends find those people who are going to uplift, you and motivate you and push you and challenge you and compete with you as a man and all of the things that come with having a band of brothers in your life. These are all great distractions in great ways to redirect your attention. So that it is guys. I know that's not real complex. It's not real in depth. But it doesn't have to be and you can get into these things as indepth as he would like, I'm just telling you. I know it's hard. I know it's difficult. I know it's a challenge. I know that maybe it feels like you won't be able to get over it right now or that it's never going to be the same. It isn't going to be the same. In fact, it's going to be better. But that's your choice. Do you wallow in your own self pity? Do you look down on it? Do you? Forget about the opportunities, and and the growth potential that you have and wallow around in this or do you make the conscious decision to come out of this not only? Okay. But a better more capable man than you were before I'm going to recap these things, and then we're going to call it a day and hope that it's helped and served. Those of you who might have found yourself in this situation. So number one sever all ties if the relationship is over sever all ties physically mentally emotionally, delete the phone numbers. Forget where she lives change the Bank accounts don't continue to live with her. But sever all of those ties number to understand how realistic expectation that it's going to take time. And it's okay. It's okay to go through the process. It's okay. To be upset. It's okay to be down gradually. You're gonna start feeling better. But just know that this is the course of things. And that you aren't the first person to ever go through a separation or divorce or break-up, and you won't be the last year just one of millions upon millions of us who have gone through these emotionally challenging situations. And it's gonna take time, but you will come out. Okay. Number three is redirect. Your attention. Focus your attention. Elsewhere put it somewhere else in the sub topics. I gave you in each one of those were exercise and diet. Get your finances in order by new hobbies challenge yourself. Find those challenges that push you educate yourself tap into spirituality, and build some friendships or rebuild some friendships that may be have gone, by the way, I'd say guys, that's all I've got for you. I know again, if you're listening to this it's likely that you're going through a difficult time. Right tat right now. And I understand what it can be like understand. How challenging it is. And it's easy right now, frankly for me to talk about these things so clearly. Because I'm not going through it. I know our emotions cloud, our thoughts and our judgment. I know we have a tendency of thinking worst case scenario, if you haven't already looked into this look into cognitive distortions. Just look it up online. You'll see what kind of tricks the mind plays that aren't founded in reality in for me. That was a big one. I jumped to the worst case scenario at all times, and those cognitive distortions really messed with me. So understanding what those were were powerful us what I shared with you today. Find those friends engage in challenges pig up hobbies, give yourself time redirect your tension. And you're gonna be okay. Not only. Okay. You're gonna come out of this thing. A better more capable man than you are before. So that's all I've got for you. If you are going through this or even if you're not make sure you're plugged into what we're doing here with order of man. Subscribe to this podcast. We've got hundreds and hundreds of hours of conversations and resources. And tools and everything that you'll need to improve your ability to be a better, father husband community leader business owner in every facet of your life. Make sure you're connected with us in the Facebook group at Facebook dot com slash groups slash order of man. Make sure you're connected on Instagram and Twitter at Ryan make letter and ultimately check out the iron council. This is a great way to build up a band of brothers as well. You can do that at order man dot com slash iron council. The last note that I'll give you today is we just came out with a new battle planner that might actually help you with some of these things. It's quarterly battled planner. And in it, it's designed to help you identify a vision for yourself to figure out some objectives and four key quadrants of your life to identify some tactics that are going to move you towards those objectives and to also identify and come up with some checkpoints to keep you on the right path along the way. So if you're dealing with this or not and you want to improve your life having a plan in a strata. In place is critical. And that's why this twelve week battle planner is going to be a powerful tool on your road to improvement. You can check that out at store dot order, man dot com. All right, guys. That's all I've got forty today. Go out there and take care of these things. Take action come in you. Thank you for listening to the order of man podcast. You ready to take charge of your life to be more of a man, you're meant to be we invite you to join the order at quarter of man dot com.
Episode 142 __Precautions
"Hey there. Good morning it is another great day. This year host Jeff Ski Kinsey had voice I dot careers. This is episode one, forty, two precautions. As right episode one, forty, two precautions. So what does that even mean? was listening to something on the radio and they were talking about precautions at work and his people are being called back. But also with the rise in cases of the virus. In what precautions do you need to take them? As an employee as talent and what precautions does the company have to take right? and. So that's something that the hiring manager should be versed in. Right. So you. You have a chance to interview with them over the phone video conference whatever. Am One of the things that you should bring up you know what? What are the precautions am I one hundred percent work at home to have to come in the office once a week once a month what the suck some details. And again, this is more or less comes under the category of common sense. Right. But it's also a chance if your talent if you. Trying to get back in the workforce, you've got a superpower you might want to touch on the fact that you've been taking care of yourself. You've been exercising eating, right. You know making sure that that your physical engine is tuned as much as possible especially with the downtime. In less than you must say is. Just, been veg in here on the couch. Heaton potato chips twenty, twenty, four, seven. Gained fifty pounds but you know. I'm I'm fine. You still be able to do the work. It seems silly but you'll think of the inverse are you eating right? Are you exercising? Its as been tough on me. A mold enough where I get the walk at the mall right or I did until the buyers come along the down. So, now my wife's Donald is is very happy. He gets more walks now because. Because I need exercise and he doesn't mind the exercise I love enjoys it as much as I do seem like when we get back from a thirty minute walk, he's all Tucker out. But yeah I'm kind of making fun but it's also a component. You know when you hire someone, you're looking at the whole package. Right Ken, they can they physically do what needs done. So Little Bit off center not off topic I don't think but maybe a little off center would you typically hear from me but something on the radio this morning spark that it's like, oh. You know we ought to touch on that in. If you're doing an exceptional job, I know somebody was training for A. Half Ironman and you know he kept us up to date I. Think he was in training over a year for it. In so You can work that into the conversation, right? You know you can work in the conversation I've been. Of Lost Twenty pounds, I've been eating better working out and doing X. XYZ excited to get back into the workforce excited to make a difference in Your Business, right? So Hey, bottom line is if we can help you to reach out if you're a hiring manager with open job rex, reach out if your talent looking for help reach out, tell him how Paulie thanks for tuning in today I am polly Motown, the ski man's virtual none more. So virtual assistant. If you enjoy this episode, please share it with your colleagues do visit our website voice I dot careers or simply grab your mobile phone dial pound two, five zero and at the prompt say contact ski man.
Not Saying Not When Tapping (Pod #411)
"This mantra welcome to the tapping cuny. PODCAST recorded live to tape from Williamsburg in Brooklyn but this is episode four eleven originally aired August thirteenth. Two thousand fourteen fourteen reappeared and remastered for December ninth two thousand nineteen. I WANNA find you wherever you are in whatever time a day. You're getting a chance has to listen to this. Thanks for spending time with me today today. We're GONNA talk about the idea of if we should be using the word not what when we are tapping and how the subconscious mind response to that before we jump into the topic. I just want to remind you that we have a free in Park Guide in which you can can use tapping to eliminate self sabotage their audios videos. There's tapping scripture instructions. All of that is absolutely free. All you need to do is go to tapping Q.. And and eight DOT COM click on the blue button and yet be listening to this in the website right now all you need to do is go to that right. Hand Column Click on the Blue Button and we will start getting you that free guide right away you get one part every single days. You're not overwhelmed with content but instead it gives you something small. That just takes a few minutes that you can do right away today on the podcast. I have some thoughts around the idea about whether or not we should be using the word not as you well here. It is a question that I get a lot now. Today's topic is in response to an email that I receive probably about once a month or once every six weeks and so it doesn't come up daily like like some of the other questions do but it's common enough that I thought it would be a good idea to respond to it now for those of you who've spent any time on my site you know that a lot of the articles and a lot of the podcasts have tap along with them scripts that you can go to and some of them even have audios that you can tap directly to end and the question that comes up is don't you know that the subconscious mind can't hear the word not and so when you say you don't want to do something you're actually tapping in that you do want to do something. Why are you putting not in your tapping phrases? And so since the question comes up enough I thought it would be interesting interesting or at least important to spend a little time responding to that now. One of the things. That's very interesting about the Internet's her. Nets is the fact that we've been able to connect with people all over the world but just because we are connecting with people all all over the world it does not necessarily mean that we're connecting with a diverse group of people now if we are entering into online online communities from the point of view of an activity because of our love of that activity. We're GONNA find our way to a really diverse group of people say for example. If you were really interested in knitting you would find your way to retirees to new mothers to hipsters here in Brooklyn two teenagers the Group of people. Because you're focused on the task is going to be really really diverse but if you're joining a community immunity or you're having a conversation that is about a worldview because you have to have certain experiences before you have that worldview. You're you're much more likely to be talking to like minded people. Let's say that you're super fiscally. Conservative or super into worker's rights the community not that you're going to connect with no matter where they are in the world is going to be much more like you than the person who is in your community who has a different worldview so even though that we've connected over great distance what we're doing is we're connecting to a similar community and when that happens how mafany starts to occur occur in birds of a feather flock together that all of a sudden you get into this echo chamber of because we all agree with the same thing we we save the same point of view over and over again and we simply assume that that's the way that it is or that it's truth because so many different sources have said it is true true but in reality they're very similar sources so it's not a diversity and so I started thinking about that when I heard it repeated over and over again and the change were community. You know the subconscious mind does not hear the word not and since the subconscious mind does not hear the word not. You're actually doing more harm than good by having mantras or tapping phrases with the word not in it and I have a feeling that you can hear a tone of my voice that I'm tipping my hand. A little bit about what I think about this but I have four thoughts That I think will be useful. You don't have to agree with any of this but this is just my point of view and that's part part of thought number one the most important question in any healing or transformation work is how's it working for you. Not how does it work not the right thing not. Is it the best thing. But how's it working for you and if you're doing something and it's functional in your life and it's help you you be the person that you want to be great. Keep doing it and if it's not working for you than stop doing it so when we approach something like this if not using the word not is working for you or using the word not is working for you. I want you to keep doing that. So this isn't about you believing me or doing it my away or you doing what anybody else says. The only thing that matters is how's it working for you. The second thing that I think is really important to keep in mind when we're tapping is the fact that we tap we're not tapping something in and we're not tapping something out so so even if I was saying that you know I want to gain eight hundred and fifty pounds or I want to lose all of my money and I'm tapping on that. I'm not driving that into my subconscious. Mind you know tapping is not the same thing as chiseling a mantra in stone as part of our being instead edits bringing the system back to balance so no matter what we say no matter what we think no matter what we experience emotions come mhm forward and the tapping were doing is bringing the system emotionally back into balance so when we tap. It's not adding something something it's not subtracting something it's bringing the system to balance so it's important to recognize the fact that we're not chiseling things in the third thing that's really important to remember when we get super dogmatic about what we're going to say is that our worldview was going to show up no matter matter what we say no matter what phrases you say whatever the subconscious mind believes is going to show up. I'll give you an example. You know I could say I hate the fifty pounds that I'm carrying around fifty thousand carrying around and I tap on that and that emotion the comes forward or I can say I love my body and the instant I say that my subconscious mind comes pouring forward and says no. You don't door ugly so you're overweight so even though I didn't say negative phrase the negative phrase showed up so no matter what your world view is it is going to present itself. And what's important is that we are emotionally tuning into our world view so that we can tap that back into proportion and tap it back into balance. Now they're going to be times where saying in negative ways more easily tunes into this. I hey this is tapping with a client yesterday. Who is just really frustrated overwhelmed because over the course of ten days a lot of really bad things that had happened to her it any of them by themselves were bad but the fact that they stacked up on top of each other just made it really unbearable and so for her to say I hate? Hey what's going on. I hate how hard this is. I hate how frustrating I am. I hate how overwhelmed I am. That was all serving her because that's where she emotionally was house and we were giving it voice so we could tap on it now if she would have said I love my life a part of her said no you. Don't this sucks. This sucks now. Both both of those tuned into the emotion and sometimes saying the positive and letting the system produce the counter to that is stronger and and sometimes just saying how bad things are stronger so the ability to play around with either of those is useful because it puts us in a position to see what is going on in an allows us to get in touch with that emotion. So it really doesn't matter if you say A.. Not Phrase if you have a not belief or a negative belief if it is going to present itself when you speak about that particular area of your life number four is I have found announed that knowing. What I don't want is a really useful tool in helping me understand what I do want because when I'm in a great deal of pain it's really hard for me to paint the picture of what I want to be better when I'm sick I'm I'm not imagining running through the field and playing and have a great time on a Saturday afternoon with my friends? who were throwing the Frisbee around? I'm just thinking about how crappy I feel deal and so it's hard for me to tune into what I do want in so often times. We can use a not phrase to figure out what we want you know. I don't want to be laying in bed feeling like crap but instead what I want and then I'm able to name the opposite. I hate it being in a job where I have no community with my colleagues but instead I'd like to find a job where the spirit of collaboration is important you know when you're looking for a new job you're oftentimes thinking about the task that you do and how much you make in the hours that you work and you're not thinking about about those other environmental things so that when you're looking for a job you might not be thinking about things like collaboration and recognizing how valuable collaboration is or independence and not being micromanaged. And so when you look at all the things that you don't want I hate being micromanaged. I hate having to be here in certain hours. I hate the the fact that no one gets along. When we're able to say the opposite of those things it puts us into a position where we can name what we want more clearly early so by naming something we don't want and focusing on that it helps us to see what we do want in the end as I've investigated this in one of the things I did was I tried to find? Some actual scientific research demonstrated the fact that the subconscious mind does not hear the word dot that it just goes away. And I looked all over the place. I search journals rolls I talked to professionals and the only thing that I could find where lots of people stating it as if it was true and the things they referenced were other people stating it as if it was true that there is no scientific research to back this idea now. That's not to say it's not true can actually could be true. But I couldn't find anything to do that. So that's my disposition on it. If you find it repulsive unhelpful dangerous for are you to say the word not when you're tapping great. Take any of those great tapping scripts that you find rewrite them. Put them in positive phrases or just stay away from them and find resources to play to that. But that's just been my experience. I would love to hear your feedback if you know of a scientific study that shows that the subconscious mind doesn't hear the word not I would love to hear it so I could amend my thinking and share that with my folks as well but those are my thoughts. I hope you found that information and that disposition useful in the way that you tap again I want to stress do what works for you. Don't just take my word for it because I say it is true but really investigating figure out what works best for you. If you know someone in your life who would find this information nation useful. Please be our ambassador and pass it along. Don't spam your inbox and send it to everyone in the world. But the most common way people find a new piece of content tent is by sharing it with a friend and if we share useful resources this or anything else with someone we love we make their life better. It means that they will be navigating vacating their day in a healthier happier way which impacts everyone around them which improves all of our lives. I know that sounds a little cheesy but it's really early true. You know what it's like when you're days been made better by someone else and you get a chance to pass that along so if you ever find any piece of content that makes your life better think think of someone who might be able to use that pass it along and share it with them if you have a question. If you've a comment if you have something you'd like us to cover in the future. I always I love hearing recommendations from listeners. Just like you you can always drop me a note. Gene G. E. N. E. AT tapping Q.. An aide dot com. Or if you go to tap in Q. and A.. Hey you can just click on that contact link and send me an email or a voice message directly from inside of the website and if you haven't done so already I'd really encourage you to subscribe to the podcast cast as a reminder in podcasting parlance subscribe is free even though they're now platforms at make you pay for premium content not not all content cost even on those platforms tapping Q.. And A. is always free. So wherever you listen to audio apple podcast. Google podcasts asks spotify Pandora stitcher tune in iheartradio deesor. Wherever you consume audio you can find this? podcast absolutely free all you need to do a search for tapping Q.. And A. FOR TAPPING QNA. PODCAST this is democracy. I hope you have a great day and I will talk to real soon by by the topic. Cuny podcast is copyright gene mantra steadily tapping eight two thousand sixteen. All views expressed expressed by guests. Are those the guests and not necessarily of gene mantra steady work tapping QNA
71. Stop The Slide
"Going to. Watch. The project. Spoken. Only way one eighty. Two fifty what's up guys for seller and this is the show for the real estate. Goodbye. Fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome motherfucking reality. Guys today little short real talk for you Not sure how long it's GonNa take but. I want to let you know where this episode came from. The morning. Now, during this Kobe lockdown, I just want to let you know there's been very few places that I've gone are. You know the places I. Go to eat I haven't gone to. The social gatherings that have been going on I really haven't gone to, and the reason for that has been because I am not going to go along with all the things that people want you to go along with. So I've chosen to kind of remove myself from normal activity. Until recently. Recently I started to. have like almost like a little bit of I don't know if it's like depression or anxiety or what it is but something like this weird uneasiness from not seeing people in real life and. I don't think I'm alone with that. I've talked to a lot of people who have kinda shared that sediment where they're they're. Not like depression or it's just a weird this weird feeling like what the fuck. And You know today. I. Woke Up and I, decided that instead of training at. Our headquarters facility here, which I've been training at and been fortunate enough to have during this time I was going to go to my regular gym and so I, went to my regular gym and I saw a lot of my old friends a lot of my friends who have been friends for for. Each ten years, fifteen years man people I've see day in and day out for a decade. And I was talking and it was interesting because. The. People had used this time to get better and A lot of the people had it and you know they were frustrated and they felt like it was something where they were starting in going and things just didn't seem to get in a rhythm for them and you know. A lot of people were struggling and so I had some interesting conversations on both on both sides of the spectrum and as you guys know if you follow me, I committed on March ninth doing seventy five hard. And then basically I've just been doing it the entire time. I said publicly that I was going to use this time to the best of my ability to improve the best that can and I've been doing my best to uphold that you know I've taken a few days off I. Think I've been off three days total this entire time. And I'm in. Is the best shape of my life I still got a lot of work to do. I've still not excited. About where I'm at but I'm excited I didn't go backwards during this time and. I wanted to basically share with you guys a couple of things first off you have to understand this. This is a bit hard on all of us. Okay. Everybody here you know even though it may seem like. I have my shit together right now struggling like this is not been easy for me. It's been the hardest. I've had to dig deep. To stay onto a program ever in my life and I mean there's been a number of times where I wanted to quit a number of times were I'm like, fuck it a number of times where I was so angry with what's going on. It it it almost kept me from doing what I needed to do. And I want you to know know and I want you to hear from me directly that. This thing. What's going is not normal. This is not how we're supposed to live. It's not how society supposed to be. We need human connection we need opportunities to Interact and all these things, and even though I'm a I would say a pretty extreme introvert. We. All still require that you know. So if you're feeling like that understand that this has been hard for me to and it's been hard for everybody I've talked to everybody around office. You know all the people that you see smiling and and you know do these people you know a lot of these people are are struggling to to show those smiles. You know what I mean. We're struggling to show that we're happy and. I want you to not feel alone. Okay and so. but that's main message. That's just the the the main thing I want you to understand is that like everybody's having a hard time right now whether you know. No matter what's going on? It's just a fucking weird time for everybody. what what I really wanted to do. I wanted to take a minute and talk to you guys a especially you guys who haven't. been doing what you know you should be doing during this time now. If you follow me for awhile. You know that I have no problem telling you the truth. Okay and some people like that. Some people don't like a direct truth right but I want you to understand where that comes from that comes from me talking to myself that way. So I talked to myself that way and that's how I coach other people. So if you come to me and you say, Hey, I fucking want to lose weight you know or your fat and you ask me if you're gonNa tell you fuck fat just like I tell me I'm fat just like I tell me when I'm lazy. I. Look in the Mirror and say Andy fucked off today you didn't do you're supposed to do. And that's where we start. So if you found yourself. Off Track, the first thing you have to realize is that you gotTa, tell yourself the truth. The truth is this. You didn't do what you know you should have done. You didn't do it. That's why you're not where you want to be. Okay if you're soft if you've if you've been soft if you've been lazy if you've been, you know not following through on what it is that you know you should be doing tell yourself the truth. Don't surround yourself with people who are GonNa, make you feel good for not doing what you know is good for you. Okay. We have to learn that. We have to address the truth and the issues before they can be solved and society has created this like soft cocoon around people where it's it's now okay to tell the truth to each other anymore it's not okay to say hey. Joe. Your little fat Bro. It's time to take care of it and Joe's down forty fucking pounds. Okay. This is the point. We have to be able to tell each other the truth. And then be able to take the truth. Right, the truth is the truth. Now we can sit there pacify ourselves and say, Oh yeah, but. You know it's Kobe. But it's this or yeah. But it's that there's always gonna be something guys. There's always going to be something. Okay. So we have to take ownership of the truth. Are you doing it or are you not doing it? Did you do it or did you not do it and for a lot of you? You didn't do it and guess what that's okay. That's okay. Not everybody gets a hit every time they come to the plate. A lot of people fucking struggle go up and down and up and down and up and down, and the reason I wanted to talk about this is because I talked to a couple of people they basically told me they're like, fuck, Dude I've let show much go by I feel like I'm starting over I don't even WanNa fuck and start and their demoralized dude, you guys cannot. Allow that to happen. Right. A lot of you have worked very hard to even be where you are and you've let it slide. You're letting it slide day by day by day by day saying, Oh you know what? After the election's over after this is over after that's over I'll get serious and this is no different than what you did last year only last year you were saying after new years. Okay after Halloween after Thanksgiving after that. Wedding I. Have to go to after this vacation after the after this after this afternoon this after this guys. That's why you are where you are. Okay and that's the truth. So you're not doing it. And it doesn't really matter why you didn't do it. You just didn't and so bottom line the truth with yourself. Okay. That's the place to start. And then the second step is real simple. The second step is After you've owned it and you said Hey. You know what? I didn't do what I was supposed to do. I was fucking soft. I was kind of a bitch. I have used this as an excuse after you've own and you've taken that sting. The next step is to put that first foot down. Okay and take that first step. First Day. To Force, you're going to have to force yourself through diet. You're going to have to force yourself through that workout. You're going to have to force yourself through that first day and then probably through that second day, and then probably through that third day again, and then the fourth day in the fifth day in the six day in the seventh and Eighth Day, and before you know it, it will be forced anymore. You'll just be doing it. And when you get to that point, you've got the momentum. Okay. So we have to. Tell the truth be start moving the right direction by force. It's not going to be easy. It's GonNa be really fucking hard. You're GonNa be thinking about that fucking pizza and that beer and that sitting on the couch all these habits that you've ingrained during this time. Okay. Whatever they might be you're going to be thinking about that because it's not going to be feel naturally you do new stuff. But you know what happens once you've gained this momentum what you gained momentum, it gets easier what you gain momentum. You start to feel good about yourself. Again, what you gain the momentum, you're not struggling through every fucking minute of the day to make sure that these things get done. Okay and you can substitute your fitness for anything. A lot of a lot of you guys this might apply to your business or might apply to other areas of your life but the point is is that we have been. Conditioned to be soft with ourselves and to tell ourselves soft lies and where does that get us It gets us to an unhappy place. It gets us to a place where we're. Afraid to look in the here. I know what? The fuck that's guys. I know what it's like to go to a store and not have any fucking clothes that fit I know what it's like to go to a pool and be afraid to take off my fucking shirt. I know what it's like to be embarrassed because I gotta wear the same clothes every single day because it's the only outfit the fucking fits me I've lived that life Bro I fucking know what that's about. Okay and I know how it makes you feel and nothing bothers me more than when I see people I care about which is you guys who are allowing you to go back to that place. So this message is for you guys, right. If you're one of these people who has slid off during this pandemic, who has you know? Let's just call it what it is. You've got fatter. You've gotten worse off you've got Lazier you've gotten softer, right? That's the truth. Now. What are we GONNA do? We're GONNA, force ourselves to fix it because dude, I'm GONNA. Tell You I've made the wrong decision here. And I'm trying to save some you guys man I've been the guy who's just said fucking and just ripped off and let it go and then before I know, I'm fucking fifty pounds up sixty pounds up hundred pounds up. All right. Now, it may not be that like that for you but that's how it is for me. Man I walked by a pizza. I gained fucking ten pounds. And Dude the only thing that kept me going this whole time is being totally fearful of going back to word Fuck I was. and. I haven't but I've had to do it by force literally the whole time almost this whole year right so my my little this is this is. Like a plea almost to you guys like guys. Fuck what you've done so far this year I don't fucking care and you shouldn't fucking care either call it what it is addressed the truth wake up today tomorrow and handle fucking business because the last thing we want is to be three or four more months worse off than where we are now and then to have things kind of go back to normal which I think they probably will. But. Why do you want to have to fight off four more months of fucking bullshit when you could just address the issue right now? This is hard. This is not easy. Stop, surrounding yourself with the people who make it easy for you stop surrounding yourself with the people who tell you the things that you want to hear that? Make you feel better in the moment, stop surrounding yourself with people to make you think it's okay. Stop surrounding yourself with people that enable you to go down these bad habits stop. Right it's not making you happy and you know it's not making you happy. Stops sliding. You guys have unlimited potential. Okay and just because a bunch of fucking politicians on both sides WANNA fuck with the country because of their own selfish reasons. That's my opinion not to bring the politics in this. But if you listen to the show, you know what the fuck I think. We can't control that. Can Control it individually no, I can't control it individually we can control together until everybody gets on the same page doesn't matter but I'm GonNa. Tell you what you can control. You can't control what you put in your mouth. You can't control what you read. You can't control the work that you do. You can't control the workouts that you do. You can't control what you drink. You can't control a whole bunch of shit that will make your life personally better during this time and guess what we've got three and a half months to go in this fucking year. That's plenty of time to turn your life around. So my message for you is really simple one. Tell you tell yourself the truth. Are. You doing it or you're not doing it. I don't care why and you shouldn't fucking care why either doesn't matter. To you going do about it. It's time to handle business. It's time to stop slide. It's time to stop letting the world situation affects your personal life to the maximum degree. You should be thinking right now I do not want to come out of this fatter slower weaker dumber in a worse place than I was when I went into it which a lot of people are gonNA. And you might to stop the slide. So my message for you guys is this man. I love you guys. I want the best for you guys and I recognize that a lot of people are slide right now and I hope that you listen to this and I hope it'll make something click with you and I hope it will get you to fucking address what's going on. So that inform more months you're not looking back and say fuck I wish I would have listened to that message then because the time is going to go by either way. We're the time is going to pass. What you do during the time is going to affect where you are in the future everybody knows that. Are you gonNA continue to slide. Are you going to push foot down stop it right now and make sure that you're one of the people who says you know what? That was tough but I made through good I may progress and I improved and I didn't get worse at the very least. You didn't give fucking worse. All right. That's where we're at right now. It's a choice. It may not feel like a choice and may not seem like a choice, but you know deep down, it's a fucking choice right I. Want you guys to win I want you guys to win big? My message might not be for for everybody my message might be too hard for people. I. Get it. That's society right now but at the end of the day until we address the fucking truth nothing changes on the back end. That's what you have to remember. So learn to deal with the truth that's why the show is called Real Af. That's why I say it's further. Realize it's not for the pretenders. It's not for the fucking fakers. It's not for the people who lied themselves is for people who can tell themselves the truth, and once you tell yourself the truth no matter how hard it stings you. You're in a better place than you were before because now you can address. Right now. You have to make the decision. I can't do the work for you but I can't tell you this. I will be there with you day in day out sweating working, grinding, fucking putting myself through this shit to show you guys that it can be done because it can be done and you can do it. Right. Now. If you like the message if you like the show, if you got something out of it, we appreciate the shares we appreciate the subscriptions and. I just want you guys know that we appreciate you guys would love you guys. We want you guys to fuck in. Should come pitch ongoing. Project. Spoken to exist. So welcome.
Whats Your Reward System? - Ep. 48
"Yoyo daily fire episode forty eight if it's trust turn it off but if it has value please share it out for me. Of course it's brought to you by Max. Effort MUSCLE DOT COM for all. Your supplement needs go to maximum for muscle DOT COM and. You're listening to the business. M BICEPS NETWORK EPISODE. Forty eight so. I think this is important. A lot of people don't do this for themselves. Some people don't need it but some people absolutely need it and that's a reward system. So what does yours look like and you might that might sound like so elementary right but people will work harder. Do More overdeliver when they're something at the end of the rainbow when the pot of gold. Is there whatever that might be in? So that's why entrepreneurs and business people have all these goals outlined in. It doesn't matter if that's not what you do for your your life or your work. You should also have these things Outlined in your life and one thing I preached in the Fitness World. All the time is part of the reason why would get in crazy. Shape was four. These old magazines shoots or for bodybuilding. Show or I'd have a powerlifting meet. I always have something on the calendar and there would be essentially a reward at the end of the work right. That was into that I that I look forward to that I wanted to accomplish. And so you know people ask me but what can that be for me and I would say if you lose twenty pounds book vacation if you lose fifty pounds book the trip on your bucket list like set up something that makes you on the day where you don't want to do it on the day when you don't WanNa to be there on the day when you feel like shit that you still get it done because that reward system is in place that is a strategy to be more successful see people they trip out on this and they don't do it. I'm telling you it's a difference maker because if there's always something and it doesn't have to be material it could be. It could be whatever whatever moves the needle for you talk about all the time you know yourself you know what's going to move the needle for me. That's going to make me get out of bed on that day when I don't want to what's GonNa move the needle for me instead of drinking on a Wednesday when I'm not supposed to do what I you know what's going to help that discipline so if you have the reward system in place then. That's you know that's the way to do. It now could be a lavish item. Eventually for business goal. It could be. It could be all kinds but whatever it is for you so one of the things I was thinking about this morning was and this is gonNA sound funny but I'm working on Dunkin of basketball again right as almost forty two. You're a forty two year old athlete. That's going to be in five eleven. That's going to be a challenge and I started calling it the Dunkin gold chain project. Now just funny. Because that's kind of my personality is the kind of things that I if you look at my things I do. In the fitness world always ripping off old like hip hop covers and things of that nature scouting my vibrate and I've been one-goal gold chain not something crazy but I'm like you know what I'm GonNa call the Dunkin Gold chain project because if I can dunk the basketball ten feet off Alaba. Whatever then I'll start going to look at that reward for all this work on the days where I don't WanNa do the extra tendon work on the days. I don't want to drag this sled on the you know what I'm saying. You have to have something. That's like a carrot. Dangled there for you to go get it in. You can find that out in from quarter to half a year to year in just continued this process consistently time after time after time again. What do you think compounds to? It's GonNa compound because you keep hitting goals getting that little carrot hitting a goal. Get that carrot boom. Eventually the care gets real big. And so you gotTa know that. It's not everything it doesn't fill you up all the way it's a small thing that something real quick it's material but a lot of times if it's something you're after interested in or enjoy it will remind you daily if it's something that you wear a rock or whatever that that's how you accomplished it in so I really think now. Some people's reward system is the scorecard business. Which is numbers you know. Johnny talks about that all the time and I respect the crap out of that. He's not really into material items he is when it comes like art and things of that nature but when it comes the business that's the scorecard is the numbers he doesn't even the actual money is something that obviously pushes four. But that's not really the the ultimate thing it's really about that number equivalent to what his business skills were. It's like it's really interesting. I've never met anybody like that so I'm a little bit more on the thing like I think growing up watching so many like mob movies and hip hop videos. It was more like you know cars or material items but once I got that stuff I realized. That's not really the end. All be all. It's the thing that having it's really about. The pursuit of happiness is the pursuit of really the process. It's the happiness you achieved through the process of uncovering things about yourself that you're willing to do in that. The strategy is working. Because you've got everything set up and then by that allows you to push yourself to another level so take the serious figure out something that you WanNa make happen set it up with an attainable goal. That's going to push you to another level in when you reach it book. It get it by do it. Whatever it is and I'm telling you it's only gonNA fill you up for a second but it's worth it because then what's the next thing and the next thing and over time I swear to you? If you fall this process it can compound into some crazy stuff at the end of the day. You're in charge of your own intrinsic motivation. Sometimes the external motivation of other things like this strategies helps feed that and then together. The net is just an amazing product in result so daily fire episode forty-eight if it's turn it off that has value please share it off for me brought to you by MAX EFFORT MUSCLE DOT COM. And you're listening to the business BICEP NETWORK. Cr later piece.