36 Burst results for "Esther"

Fresh update on "esther" discussed on Glowing Up

Glowing Up

01:07 min | 8 hrs ago

Fresh update on "esther" discussed on Glowing Up

"Hi caroline. I asked her. I see you have your little game. Show mike my god. is that drew carey. You're my friend esther okay. I'm so embarrassed. Everyone's make fun making fun of this. Mike people on tiktok us this mike all the time. Okay i'm just trying to be like the cool tiktokers. Where did you buy a mike. And how much did that cost. I i don't remember simple question okay. Well we'll circle back to the mike esther there's so much so much to talk about on today's glowing up. Can i just put you on the spot and bring up a subject. I know you don't wanna talk about. What can i just do it. Oh no you're you're so mad. You're so mad dude that armie hammer link taxes you today. Please just indulge me. Please give me this. did you look at it. No because i'm so sick of his ass so done with him. I i don't know if he's having a mental breakdown or if he's just like this really privileged guy living on the cayman islands who doesn't give a shit. What news stories are going out like. I can't get a sense of it. But and i find myself repulsed by everything about him and the media frenzy around him as to. Why don't you summarize the link that you sent. Because i did not click okay. I just want to preface by saying like. I don't excuse me. Maybe i'm maybe this king chamie we. I'm a bad person. Maybe i'm just a piece of shit gossip that said it's this girl. He dated for like four months. She's this beautiful instagram model. She's like twelve years younger than him or something and she basically talks about it. She is sharing her gossip with the daily mail but whatever. She says that he like getting paid handsomely by the way i'm sure she's getting a paycheck. She earned it. She talks about how he had mannequins in his basement that he would practice tying women up like on the mannequins he carved in a and like above her vagina and she was really uncomfortable with it. He like definitely bit into her skin. They were very much fetish like fantasy sexually which again like two consenting adults not really gossip at this point it's not like he did anything illegal or you know but very titillating stuff like he wanted her on a leash on this rope. He also he brought her home to. She says that he talked to her. About like mommy. Drama and how his mom try his mom clearly knew when he was younger he had lots of demons and try to do something about it like poor. She poured oil on his head to like. Get the demons out or something crazy. That probably only turned him on more and more of a free. But that like cl- he also like cried at night to her about his family problems and you know his marriage problems. So she's like. I don't know if that was just she's like i don't know if there was an act but i totally by anyone is behaving like has these deep kings. I really believe has some like crazy. Mommy issues and like rich generational wealth family problems like. I don't know more money more problems kind of thing. What do you think. I'm a also for legal reasons. I'm a gossiping pig right now. Sorry for legal reasons. Esther and i are garbage. We're trash where human like if you sue us. There's nothing to take. don't even try it. There's nothing there. I don't look. I think that he is so handsome. White and wealthy. He is a complete access of all privilege. You know it's like is he richard poor. He's rich is he white or is he a minority. He's like white as it gets is. He's todd owns is he. Tall absolutely is he. Symmetric is he is symmetric face. does he have classic western. Good looks in spades. This guy is living breathing privilege and when you are someone that exists on that plane of privilege and you have creepy predilections. You have fetishes. That might dip into the unsafe. You are crazy you're weird. You terrorize those around you. You're going to get away with more than the average person because you have your privilege to fall back on your reinforced by the structures around you. That keep you empower. You know whether it's his family's money whether it's as good looks charm. Like i think he's just getting away with more and maybe allegedly say the word allegedly. You can't sue me every five words i can. I can sue you. You're suing me for one microphone. But you're the one who has the microphone. Esther i i. I think that it's may be allowing him to be more abusive. I mean and get away with more bad behavior. Look i don't know. I don't care. Think he's fucking testing. I'm not a fan. i. I don't know i don't know what else to say. Fans piece of pig said. I'm a fan esther. You just sold a buddy comedy. The free form with armie hammer. No isn't there something though. This is like the fall of the people that have have everything lake isn't there it's like. Oh you had it all but you had to be like a little extra with it. All like isn't there something like that. You kind get off to get like about you. Know what i'm trying to say. Well the thing that bums me out is from what i can tell and i haven't been super up on this story. He seems to be in the cayman islands. Which as we know is a rich person tax haven. I think he's grew up there. So you know. His family was up to something. Like shady financial storing money on the cayman islands. Like i i am not like a someone well-versed in these like financial international tax haven laws. But i know the cayman islands is something to do with rich people like putting money there so we grew up on and around the cayman islands. I think he's still there from what i can tell. He's living a consequence. Free existence doesn't seem to be bothered by this recent influx of press. Yes he lost a movie role but he's just like laying. Low doesn't believe what's going on doesn't care it's probably like still fucking locals who like don't get the daily mail app on their phone or don't care and just think he's like this rich handsome celebrity. That's lived on the island on and off his whole life like the thing is like i'm not seeing any consequences for this guy so no i don't feel like i'm watching him fall. It seems like he's probably living it up on the cayman islands. Having a better time than you. And i are less question. You're single you're you're up. The answer is yes no. He doesn't esther. I have you and i share. We have a well documented aversion to tip weekly textbook like beautiful people. I am so conditioned to prevent myself from rejection. yes. I don't even get attracted to super hot tall guy like my brain doesn't even consider them an option. Because i've been burned i've been rejected. The shit has been baked in me since middle school. Like i know my place. I know what i can paul. I'm not trying to punch above my weight class. Like i am more attracted to someone who's the should say of the uglier persuasion. Well also those those. Hawkeye's those tall hot white guys. They they're rotten to the core no matter what. And it's honestly. I will say a shirt. We can blame society. Society made them rotten. They're always rotten and it's never worth it. Show me one one. Good tall white rich male. She'll be one good one would love. I would love for you to please. You can't there is rotten. You can't there's rotten as my breath this morning on my god. I'm more rotten by the way side note. I feel like i've said this before. The best part about working from home is knowing. I could eat whatever i want it lunch whether it be like a can of tinned fish a piece of avocado toast with onions on it. For no reason. I could eat the stinky nastiest food and none of my coworkers will know the difference when i get back on that zoom after line as a person who has been your co worker before this is really good for the world that you're not stinking up the lunchroom you. You have a bad reputation. My mouth has become a living compost. And i love it. You don't what so crazy. That i have not called you out four and so long as that you literally work for like the queen of comedy and i don't think we've addressed it on the show. Are we allowed to. I was thinking about it because so my whatever you call them. Use a fiancee. He's my bitch. Just kidding i love you. He he works. He works for indicating this past year and she last night he posted an instagram and she commented on it and i saw the so excited i was like oh god mindy knows we. I forgot like oh. She knows who i am. Because there's a picture of me and it made me realize we caroline for good works for indicating that is so cool and she is such Like glowing goals icon like. She's so amazing everything she does everything. She stands where she's so beautiful like hilarious. Hard-working euphoric and work for her. Like that's amazing caroline. I mean i. Indicating is one hundred percent. One of my all time idol. She's one of the all-time female comedy comedy greats. I'm sorry i didn't mean to qualify it by saying her gender. She's an icon john legend. She's so funny. She's so smart. I've been obsessed with her for as long as i can remember..

Esther Twelve Years Today Instagram Four Months Caroline Mike Esther Cayman Islands Last Night One Hundred Percent One Microphone Mike Richard Two Consenting Adults Four Like Glowing Goals Paul John This Morning
Vashti: Villian, Victor, or Victim? - burst 1

All God's Women

02:57 min | 2 weeks ago

Vashti: Villian, Victor, or Victim? - burst 1

"As we kick off a new year. It's a great time to reflect on your priorities. Were they lie. Are you focused on prestige and wealth and privilege or are you focused on doing. What's right even if it means losing everything you hold dear sometimes like invest case right wrong isn't always obvious fast. She didn't have the advantage of being able to turn to god for wisdom. She didn't know him but we do. In the upcoming days we will be faced with difficult moral issues and we may not have a clue. Which is the right thing to do when that happens. Remember while it may not be obvious to you. It is to him. So give it to god and let him director paths. And if you have to make a difficult decision to do the right thing and it looks like you're going to lose all that steer remember he is all we need. As long as we're following in his footsteps he will not lead us astray. Lord god we come to you today. Seeking wisdom like dashti were often faced with challenging choices. And we don't know what to do. Thank you for being with us and for taking our hand and guiding us through the difficult paths. Give us the courage to always do what is right. Strengthen us when our enemies gang up against us forgive us those times when we fall and feel like we failed you. Thank you for picking up from the ground and setting us back on solid ground. We love you so very much. In christ's name we pray amen. Back includes today's episode of all gods women. Have you joined us yet for our three week. Virtual bible study. It's not easy being cleaned. Based on the book of esther. You haven't it's not too light just hop on over to the all. God's women bible study group on facebook and join in on the daily bible readings and discussion. The link is in the show nets next week. We'll be focusing on clean estrin so much to talk about. You won't want to miss it until next week goodbye.

Dashti Estrin Facebook
The Amish Pandemic Sewing Frolic

The Kitchen Sisters Present

04:30 min | Last month

The Amish Pandemic Sewing Frolic

"It was friday april tenth. Two thousand twenty. The pandemic was really starting to roar. Ppe was scarcely in the supply chains. Were already breaking down. Every hospital was scrambling to find enough masks gowns and face shields. It was already every state every institution for itself. It was everywhere in the papers. Page one page to page three on page nine of the new york times dateline creek ohio. A headline cut on ape. Make a sewing frolic in ohio. The amish take on the corona virus. The story struck a deep chord in a state with us throughout these long months. The way this isolated centuries old self. Reliant community was rising to the occasion and collaborating with the world. Outside was something we wanted to know more about your attempt to record story. A new collaboration was born in that way that the pandemic has triggered all manner of new collaborations artists. Laurie anderson ohio born designer stacey hoover and producer. Evan jacoby all joined with the kitchen sisters to bring these voices to wear today. The kitchen sisters present. The great amish sewing frolic sugar creek. Ohio inca i. John miller manufacturer here with deep connections to the close knit amish community of central of got a call from cleveland clinic. When i get a call from purchasing cleveland cleaning at midnight i know needs. The hospital system was struggling to find protective face masks for it's fifty five thousand employees plus visitors. I thought about the fact that every amish lady in a community knows how we could then utilize the talents of the ladies into to make protective gear. Could his team so twelve thousand dollars. In two days he appealed to abe choi. Kind a local lumber neil and goods business and leader in the amish community. I called deep. Troyer and said make a sewing frolic a day later. Mr troyer had signed up sixty amish home. Seamstresses and cleveland clinic sewing from was i made patriotic ones. I think mine are also the other ones are from my sister. Sarah may meet those jeff. I am rudy Homemade candies. I'm curious sister. I am esther troyer. We had the candy store in the basement of our house. Frolic usually is using up as barn. Succumb people come from all around spectators as well as i have. Four course meal nash. Potatoes some kind of me sal desert. Some kind of dessert should be retire. But that doesn't pay the bills. So i can do this. The frolic of masks sewing is just. It's a group getting together doing a project as good. 'cause i went to egypt troyer to bring supplies. He's got three or four women in his own that console and they were cutting. The little wire knows please. That goes in the mass to conform to your nose on the kitchen table. Literally within three days the sewing machines were set up we had. I'm running in times like this. When can't have you no more than ten people in a room together you know. There's there's around. Ten thousand sewing machines in amish homes abe went and recruited sixty or one hundred sewers literally overnight and we may twelve thousand masks for cleveland clinic and forty eight hours that then turned into an order for one hundred forty thousand which scaled again. Currently we are making seven hundred and thirty eight thousand masks for the state of ohio.

Ohio Stacey Hoover Evan Jacoby Cleveland Abe Choi Laurie Anderson Mr Troyer Sugar Creek John Miller Rudy Homemade Esther Troyer New York Times Sal Desert Troyer Nash Sarah Jeff Egypt
Protesters resist city's effort to remove people from Seattle's Cal Anderson Park

Morning News with Manda Factor and Gregg Hersholt

01:21 min | Last month

Protesters resist city's effort to remove people from Seattle's Cal Anderson Park

"Festive and threatening at Seattle's Cale Anderson Park right now, where police want to evict homeless campers and protesters vowed to stop them come most. Corwin Hickey is there and joins us live. Esther because there's music playing and small fires burning as protesters still the park in anticipation of a plan sweep planned by the Seattle Parks Department so they can effect cleanup and repairs and enforced by Seattle police who have made their presence known around the part Now the police have not yet moved in. But I've personally been physically threatened by an activist who objected to my presence. He told me. He's lucky. He's a well known public figure, although I don't know who he is. Lucky. I'm a public figure. Yes, Yes, I I wasn't wasn't known. known. I I would've would've been been enough enough to to last last out. out. You You could could walk walk away away not, not, you you know, know, not not What? What? Mr Mr Playboy. Playboy. Well, Well, I I did did walk walk away away in in spite spite of of a a bluster bluster there, there, and and so I am back to safety. After that encounter, these activists are charged up. Obviously, they don't want these campers to be evicted from the park, where many of them have lived for the past seven or eight months. Live on Capitol Hill, Corwin Heiko Mona also apparently don't want overhead views of all of this, and we've heard from our television side that the news helicopter had to move out of the area. Because some of those on the ground were pointing a laser athm Well, today's

Cale Anderson Park Corwin Hickey Seattle Parks Department Seattle Esther Mr Mr Playboy Corwin Heiko Mona Capitol Hill
Madonna Just Got Her First Tattoo

San Diego's Morning News with Ted and LaDona

00:44 sec | Last month

Madonna Just Got Her First Tattoo

"Getting into the pop icon just got her first ever tattoo at the age of 62. She took tow insta. That's how hip and street I am last night to post her followers and show her getting that tattoo along with the artwork. She got the initials L R. D. M s E tattooed on her wrist. To honor her six kids, Lord is Rocco David Mercy, Stella and a stair. A stair a steer? Yes. T e r E I don't know. Esther. No, that's S T H E. R. Right. This don't e don't know. So anyway, she just said she got letters tattooed on her wrist.

Rocco David Mercy Stella Esther
Is the Oxford vaccine worse than the other ones?

Coronacast

04:09 min | 2 months ago

Is the Oxford vaccine worse than the other ones?

"And we had some more exciting vaccine related news in the last couple of days. Norman the astrazeneca vaccine from oxford university has released results saying that. It's an average of seventeen point four percent effective which is less than what we were hearing about the other. Vaccines that have recently been announcing interim results from fifa and madonna. So is the oxford vaccine. Like the bad one or is it just the way they've crunched the numbers looking a bit different to the way pfizer and medina have crunched. The numbers and sean writes in. So we're getting the dot t. One thanks you'll have to force me to take that one advisor moderna. I'll be first in line stuff. The for'de astrazeneca one who trust the uk. Now anyway. thanks. I'm sean sean. Next time you say the question just tell us what you mean you a. You don't be the by bush. So here's the story of esther vaccine report. So this is the problem releasing by pressure lease and what they did. This press release was really naughty. They gave an average of seventy percent but it was an average over two separate trials. You can't do that. You can average two separate trials with different objectives different doses and so on and say was was seventy percent and you can only assume that what we're trying to hide wars that the food does trial. Which was the latte. The larger of the true was actually quite disappointing. Compared to the one thousand nine hundred ninety five percent results that pfizer moderna have been reporting for the amarnath vaccine where they get the average coming up. A bit is actually. What at first sight seems counterintuitive. So you try which the big what which is to fool does is and you've got a smaller trial where they did a half those to begin with and then a fool doors late about a month later and what the got with that one was ninety percent. Say to the to the other two. That's right but effective remember. This was affective in preventing covid nineteen disease. We still don't know whether prevents infection now said well. Why would a lure does one work well. It's actually quite conceivable that the lord does one is the better way of giving it because the vaccine works spy using a chimpanzee cold virus which has been inactivated sort of doesn't caused disease to carry the genetic message inside the cell for the sale to produce despite protein. That's going to generate an immune response in the body that will have memory to fight the infection. So that's how it does the chimpanzee vars whilst it doesn't develop disease in the person our immune system does recognize this virus and january. antibodies toured. So what can happen. Is that you give. The food does in the first. Does the body a gets. Antibodies to the chimpanzee vars. And then when you give the secon- does it doesn't work because your body's fighting off the victor really. That's right the train of the truck the text but if you want to call it the terms of the metaphor taking the phones of other words that blocks the driver from taking the from carrying the the vaccine into the cell so the f- the lure does wand doesn't generate a strong response to the chimpanzee virus but still pump primes the immune system against the vaccine against the spike protein. I should say so. The second vaccine does work so this is actually good news so could be. That is just as good and it'd be a nice one to be just as good because it's going to be a lot cheaper. It's going to be available in the developing world. Astros said that they're not going to take any prophets on it at least during the pandemic and transports in the fridge. So it's easy to transport and resilient so you can't average here so the sixty percent is completely misleading. Double full does pretty lousy half those plus four does pretty good and that director attention towards where it should go.

De Astrazeneca Sean Sean Esther Vaccine Pfizer Moderna Oxford University Medina Fifa Pfizer Norman Madonna Oxford Sean Bush Affective UK Cold
Brooklyn Red Zone To Turn Orange Amid Coronavirus Progress

10 10 WINS 24 Hour News

01:06 min | 2 months ago

Brooklyn Red Zone To Turn Orange Amid Coronavirus Progress

"Test locations there. Juliet Papa 10. 10 wins news. There is some good news in the mist of the covert storm. Though Governor Cuomo's has one part of Brooklyn is no longer in the red areas Ramsey is with Brooklyn's Coronavirus Micro Cluster has shifted its colors from red. Toe orange, and it could have happened soon enough for people here, like Esther should've done it sooner. Even Governor Cuomo says the area here around King's Highway and Coney Island Avenue has made significant improvements to slow the spread. But he also acknowledged his controversial decision to designate this area as a red zone. People don't like the restrictions. I understand that But it worked. For weeks. Non essential businesses were shut down as well as schools, which Stephen Gabbeh says was hard on the community here early. I think people are upset. To see this area as a red zone. But Ellie Miller, who works in the area here, says behaviors changed and he believes people will continue to do what is needed to keep the virus from spreading wearing a master's habit. Once they got to have it, then they're doing it and we just wanted to be done already.

Governor Cuomo Juliet Papa Brooklyn Ramsey Stephen Gabbeh Coney Island Esther Ellie Miller
Pennsylvania secretary of state predicts it'll be a 'matter of days' for all ballots to be counted

KMJ NOW Programming

02:17 min | 3 months ago

Pennsylvania secretary of state predicts it'll be a 'matter of days' for all ballots to be counted

"Key to the vote count on Tuesday night will be how the votes are counted. What kind of challenges will be raised? Where will we see Lawsuits over win battles, Ballots arrive postmark, the segregation of ballots matching signatures terms like provisional and naked ballots. You better get your glossary out. And most ominous. Will there be violence? We have two guests who will be dealing with the vote town. Kathy Book Bar is Pennsylvania secretary of State and Stanford Law professor and Elections expert in NBC News Legal analyst named personally Also joining us. I'm gonna begin though in Pennsylvania with the secretary of state there, Kathy Book for Madam Secretary State. Thank you for doing this and let me start with what has us a lot of us anxious here, and that is The timing of the vote count, particularly when the non Election day vote starts starts to get counted. We already know a CZ. Many of seven counties won't even begin town ING mail in ballots until Wednesday morning. Explain to viewers how much patients we all need Tohave about Pennsylvania? Thank you for having me on Chuck really appreciated it. Now let me start out by setting really 0.4 Million pets of Indians have already cast their ballot I mail This is going to be 10 times as many as the last time we had a presidential election. Pennsylvania Yes, it will take longer. But having said, But I want to be clear that Elections have never been called election night. Our military and overshoot means ballots. You know any women who are serving our country more open after election dated Esther Palace, so I just want to set that straight. That this is a process of me one of them from that every single vote. Every valid voter fairly and accurately. So to your question, I expected over Longbridge Merete of balance and living with his mail in absentee ballots as well as in person balance, But we can't do within a matter of eight with counties are staffing up. Have a ton of it. Quit, Nick. Best practices in planes that are planning for the most part to count 24 7 until its land and who knows all the public servants who are going to make sure it gets done as quickly as possible. All right. You did

Pennsylvania Madam Secretary State Chuck Stanford Law Professor And Ele Longbridge Merete Kathy Book Esther Palace Nick Nbc News Analyst
Talking Modern diversity and inclusion with T-Mobile's Holli Martinez

Your Brain at Work

04:14 min | 3 months ago

Talking Modern diversity and inclusion with T-Mobile's Holli Martinez

"Two weeks ago. Some of you listen to US talking about how to truly get the. From, your leaders when it comes to your diversity equity inclusion efforts, and there are four main steps that we talk about when it comes to building longlasting strategy is the first one is really mobilizing your leaders. Then we start moving into building those strategies together with your leaders and then activating the right habits. Because when we talk about the culture, it's really shared every day habits. So how do we properly activate those habits and then the last important step is really reimagining your systems when it comes to talent management systems and business systems in your organization. So today will focus on how to actually build proper diversity equity inclusion strategies that last in your organization and I'm so excited that Holly's joining us. I know that T. mobile is very highly recognized as an organization that really invested a lot in building out diversity equity inclusion culture and they've done so much in this space they've built such phenomenal brands and they're recognized by the community. They've won a lot of awards when it comes to their work incorporate equality corporates inclusion, and really investing in lgbtq I communities in the beds and women in the workplace. So I would just love to get started holly and talk a little bit of your journey as far. team. All Ball. Absolutely thank you esther and for having me I just so appreciate the work of an ally and it's a pleasure to partner with you in this. So I started in the nonprofit field and I read the pedagogy of the oppressed by Paulo Freire and this truly. My understanding of advocacy and allied ship. And I learned early on in this work in a nonprofit working with. Women students were the first families to go to college. Many of them were from Latin next Hispanic Communities, native American Indian lack of African American communities who wanted to be teachers in I learned about listening to their stories that were so different from mine and understanding how to give them a platform and a space for them to advocate in for them to rise I. think that is one of the biggest lessons that I had is I was really learning Paulo Fair and understanding. You how to be an advocate in it's shaped my journey throughout my career in navigating equity and inclusion I. Love that and also especially with current times and current climate, we see a lot of needs when it comes to the social justice movement a lot of needs from chief diversity officers and heads of those efforts in really integrating a lot of community work and integrating that social justice part into our organization. Curious. What comes up for you here when it comes to current times? You know this is such an interesting time in so many levels in IC-. Right now, companies are either doubling down or starting diversity equity inclusion efforts for the first time and I'm the great by that and I empathize with that and as I described the t mobile Germany I, want to be clear that when you hear large organizations talk about their work, sometimes you haven't in your mind or at least I used to it. They're given at this fifty million dollar budget, build your team, build your strategy in a year from now we're GONNA launch you have a year, figure it out, and that's not reality that's not what happens in. So I Of Walk through the journey that we had in real tangible ways in describe what we've done. I will say that I think that there's a real balance that we have. You know corporations we have a responsibility and the privilege to be able to invest in our communities and our employees. But at the same time, we also have responsibilities as citizens to the active in our communities. In so I think that there is a real balance there of being good corporate citizens in our community as well as enforcing in really building those inclusive behaviors and practices within organizations

Paulo Freire United States Holly T. Mobile Esther Partner Far.
After tight 2016 race, Pennsylvania poised to be linchpin to election win

KYW 24 Hour News

00:57 sec | 3 months ago

After tight 2016 race, Pennsylvania poised to be linchpin to election win

"Up in battleground states, and that includes Pennsylvania as K Y W Charlotte race reports. Both presidential candidates believe the Keystone State could decide this election. Nearly half of Pennsylvania's requested mail in ballots have already been cast, but candidates aren't giving up hope to secure more votes by November. 3rd. It's go time, folks. Is my coach of Delaware say it's go time. It's Game day. Former Vice President Joe Biden was in Bristol Township, Bucks County over the weekend for a drive in rally may come down to Pennsylvania. And I believe in you. I believe in my state. The Trump campaign sees the same value in P E. A last week, the president said. If he wins Pennsylvania hold win reelection on Monday, President Trump is headlining three of his signature rallies in blank, Esther Allentown and Martinsburg. Biden, along with his wife, Jill, also made a stop in Luzerne County on Saturday. Charlotte, RESCATE y. W News

Pennsylvania Joe Biden Charlotte President Trump Vice President Luzerne County Bucks County Bristol Township Esther Allentown Delaware Martinsburg Jill
Skincare Journey with Michelle Lee

Glowing Up

05:16 min | 3 months ago

Skincare Journey with Michelle Lee

"Today we have a guest that iconic doesn't even begin to describe it I feel like we have to get into this. Yeah. I. Mean as per usual who wants to hear from you and I were disgusting trolls we have to. Fight. The woman who is here today? It's potentially going to change all that today. No promises, but baby. Today we have on the editor in chief that's e I see. Okay. That's industry slain of Allure magazine. Honey it's Michelle. Lee. You guys this is Michelle welcome to the show I am so starstruck grew up reading magazines on Friday nights. So the fact that I'm speaking to an actual editor in chief I just I'm like Holy Shit like she's she knows it all she has I'm so cluttered what an introduction and I don't want against her up too much. But please if I may gas a little more. This woman the. Incomparable Michelle Lee. Has worked at some of your favorite magazines not only are you the editor in chief of a law, which is like unbelievable I'm salivating I have. I'm Fan girling your editor in chief of nylon correct I was I was that was my job right before Lor and for that you've worked for Britain for like a million zillion different publications glamour you are on the founding team of I want to say COSMO Girl Yep. Yeah. Do you remember Cosmo girl? Do I S- I was the third higher at Cosmo girl. We created the sticker is we did the whole thing. So no innovative remember what magazines used to have stickers. I just thought about member lucky I mean, of course, Michelle, you remember Lucky magazine of course, the stickers I love serious by it. It was like they had like three options. It was like I think about it don't buy. Could you imagine like going through your magazine and being like I'm not going to buy that can put a sticker next to it. That sounds so fun. Anyway Michelle. You've seen it all you've written for it all and you know so much about beauty and we're so honored to have you on our show. Well, I am so honored also because I am a gloomy I'm a huge fan I seriously has done a whole marathon literally almost every single episode and I could listened I talk about you guys all the time I do like in the office attack about you to other people I'm obsessed I'm also. So embarrassed of all the things united me right now so Let. On, sorry yeah. Learn a lot about La 'cause I don't know that much about L. A. Things. So like Erawan, I feel like I've learned so much about oat milk from you guys. You would think there's not that much to learn when it comes to oats and water mixed together but. Lord knows Esther and I. Found the crevices and like some. A lot of stuff to talk about when it comes to. You wouldn't gosh I'm fan growing and I'm embarrassed I mean Michelle you know too much about ministers bodies. That my worst. About. Yeah. I I'm speechless. We had to make good use of this time her okay. So Let's just start by talking about. Your instagram which I really recommend everyone go follow I. Believe it's Hey. Michelle Li Yep. Your instagram is a treasure trove of so much stuff your interests when it comes to beauty or far-ranging particularly I, feel like what? I think of Michelle, Lee think of nail art and ask for. Today was staring at your nail since meeting. Oh good podcastone. SURPRI-? I'm so genuinely minor Kinda. Jenky like don't look through closer little crumbly idea your on. Let me say I who I do my own nails. You'll notice. They, look cute Think-i esters. Got Some. Cutie I do I started doing at sea press on meals? And I'm a I'm enjoying myself I'll say, Oh, you know I did press on nails for the first time recently Chill House No Chill House released on. It's very cool salon in New York. City, and they have I think they used to have two locations there now down to one and they just made these very cool press but they're very like a lot of the nail art that I have my instagram. They have as well because I get my nails there quite a bit but they're cute cute like really minimalist. Designs. Oh. I. Love that one you posted of the Purple Marble yes. That video is so cool. Yeah. I. It's like I do a lot of reposting of other nail artists to and I went down this rabbit hole of Russian. Nail artists are next level like the way that they do marble nails and other things. It's just like stuff you've never seen before.

Michelle Michelle Lee Editor In Chief Instagram Michelle Li Allure Magazine Lucky Magazine LOR Erawan Britain New York Lord Esther
Korean boy band BTS faces uproar in China over war comments

KCBS Radio Afternoon News

00:41 sec | 3 months ago

Korean boy band BTS faces uproar in China over war comments

"South Korean boy band BTS over a remark by its leader thanking Korean War veterans. An uproar erupted on Chinese social media after members of the group accepted an award for contributing to U. S. South Korean relations. Internet users and state media accused the band of distorting history and ignoring the role played by China in the war, which Chinese Communist Party propaganda blames on the United States. Chinese soldiers fought alongside North Korean forces during their failed attempt to annex South Korea in the 1952 1953 war. The attacks on Beatty, Esther reflected Beijing's increasing assertiveness of broaden enduring Chinese sensitivity about the Korean Peninsula.

Korean Peninsula Chinese Communist Party South Korea Beatty Beijing United States Esther China U. S.
New Jersey Judge Esther Salas Says She’s Forgiven Man Who Killed Her Son In Attack On Her Home

Steve Trevelise

00:36 sec | 3 months ago

New Jersey Judge Esther Salas Says She’s Forgiven Man Who Killed Her Son In Attack On Her Home

"New Jersey U. S. Juster Judge Esther Salas speaking out about a fatal attack on her son over the summer that changed her life forever. This man Took the most important thing in my life. I can't let him take anything else. I know that I want to strive every morning to be the best person that I could be. Her 20 year old son was killed in a shooting and also left her husband injured at their home in North Brunswick in late July. She told ABC is Robin Roberts, She will still serve as a federal judge.

U. S. Juster Judge Esther Sala ABC North Brunswick Robin Roberts New Jersey
No More Mr. Nice Guy | Robert Glover | Write Your Legend Podcast with Apollonia Ponti and Natalie Stavola - burst 01

Write Your Legend

28:10 min | 4 months ago

No More Mr. Nice Guy | Robert Glover | Write Your Legend Podcast with Apollonia Ponti and Natalie Stavola - burst 01

"She will, you know, she's strong needs to be done. And so the thing that I learned is that a woman can't follow her a man doesn't lead that's true on the Dancefloor. It's is true in relationship. Now that leadership is not dead. Do it my way, you know, it's not about that that kind of controlling dominance. It's just showing up with a plan and having a sense of confidence about you that you know where you're going and you invite the woman to come along same on the dance floor is it I'm not going to ask the woman in between each move every step. Do you want to have this done now? Would you like a cross body move? Should I do a pretzel with you? Should I know I'm just going to lead her and if she likes the way I lead she's going to relax into that and follow and be blessed by that. If you don't like the way I lead single find another partner to dance with that's fine that it works. Well, but if I don't lead we're just going to stand there on the Dance Floor, you know kind of looking at each other until one of us gets bored and walks away. So that leadership is crucial and when I found when guys are trying to figure out what to make what to do make a woman happy and pleased or there's no real leadership. It's like I said be like me asking a woman every move. What do you want to next? do you want today off? And you're laughing cuz I've asked women in front of men. I'm teaching I'll say do you like it? Well, what do you like when your man says what do you want to tonight? You want to go out? Where do you want to go for dinner in the women go is needed to make a decision. Right? But I don't like it. I'll tell you but make a decision instead of times. I've had that argument with with some dating like I forgot to tell you, I don't like that. I'm going to change my mind you're going to say let's get Chinese food and I'm gonna say I want Italian but it doesn't matter. I just want you to make a decision cuz make a decision. Yeah, and that is super hard cuz that goes back to the man same. Maybe I'll do something wrong. And one thing I've been preaching to men for quite some time in marriage therapy. And otherwise, is that a woman's reaction to anything that a man does does not determine the rightness or wrongness of the thing man did write the man says, let's go get Chinese. You said I was thinking Italian he didn't do anything wrong cuz you had a different wage. Opinion on that. So this is you know, the work that I do with men is learning as a you know, start living life on your terms live life the way you want them live it and invite a great woman to come tag along with you to come join in your great life. Don't try to figure out how do I fit into her life? How do I make her happy? How do I make her want to be my girlfriend? I want to suck Ur clothes off. Don't worry about that stuff. You live your great life lead give her the chance to follow now. Here's the thing with that what if they're already in a relationship and all of a sudden? They're learning about this. How long does that take? Do all of a sudden they just come home and they're like, maybe like a big daddy 301 is here is here and she's like in leading this whole time. Yeah. So how does how do you do you get that like that leading birth? That is such a good question. When I wrote no more mister. Nice guy. I wrote in there I said when I started working with nice guys, and and because it does shake up a relationship if they're in one thousand. It shakes up everything, you know, the guy starts setting boundaries or starts asking for what he wants or start saying no or start spending more time with his guy friends, you know starts pursuing his his passion is going to shake things up and and I say in the book that I when I first started seeing this I gave relationships about a fifty-fifty chance that they would survive the the guy doing a nice guy recovery and I write in the book then over time. I started giving it more of a 60-40 that it wasn't going to work. And by the time I wrote book, I'd 7030. I'm about at 8020 now home and you know, we're kind of laughing about it. But the truth is yeah if if a couple of gotten together and fallen into a routine that that is some level is comfortable. Serve them even if it's painful and toxic it could be challenging to break that up. So mental asked me a lot of times say well sure. I show my wife or my girlfriend your book. I'm gonna go by all means, why am a copy, you know, let them have a copy and let them start underlining and writing in it and you tell them what it is that you're wanting to work on and what you're learning and how you want to be in this world. And and you know, do this is a team effort and in my experience. I'm a say in general women like my book, you know, when the book up published. I think the Publishers are thoughts going to create this big controversial but it never did. I maybe have gotten three angry emails from women in twenty years so women like the book cuz it's teaching men can be honest and transparent and and you know good men. Not not just pleasing nice guys. So I have found that a lot of women are really supportive of this work log. I got to visit a couple had worked with a number of years ago. I started working with the man over time and then he met the woman they got married. They're they're like 50, so they're both like second marriage for each of them and they came down to Puerto Vallarta where I live and did some work with me a few years ago and I forgot to visit them about three weeks ago and and the woman said to me says Robert finished that other book you're working on around what I call positive emotional tension women tend to like the stuff that I teach and couples therapy. You know, when I would start with the man just like in dance class, you gotta start with the lead, you gotta show them how to leave where the followers got nothing to lead. So I start with the man and I get the big two-by-four out smack him upside the head and say, okay, here's how women are wired. Here's what's important to them. Here's what most men get wrong. And here's what we're going to work on and usually the women have gone to look at their husbands or boyfriend and go this guy gets women. I like him. And so So when I found his women are pretty supportive of this Dynamic and many men had told me. Hey my wife gave me your book my ex-wife gave me your book an ex girlfriend gave me your book off. So women are spreading the word and they want men that they can trust that they can depend on who will set the tone and Lead who they can open up and Trust. Yeah because it's an honest with themselves and how can they be honest in a relationship if I can't depend on you to open up and tell me like what's going on? What you need? How can we be a team song? Yeah. I'm very obviously have apple and I are huge fans of the book. Yeah, and another point you talk about in one of your chapters and the no more mister nice guy book is with with life in general, right? I am a true believer that women look at sex differently than men look at 6 and men look at sex differently and intimacy is emotional for women, right? So we need our emotional needs to be met off. Order to want to have sex either with our partner or in our marriage whatever the case may be and sometimes those marriages can end up dying down and then we look up as sometimes what I've seen as well is that the men is looking at this as my wife isn't having sex with me. So I need to push for sex in order to feed the validation from within me. Right and so the woman was like, oh, I'm just not there mentally emotionally because of XYZ. I'm going through a hard time in life. And so what happens is he pushes more so than the relationship gets disconnected when they really weren't disconnected really in the first place. Yeah, but since the sex was pushed it was more and then I've seen that Spectrum happened in a lot of you know people that we work with and then the other spectrum is I mean to have sex with my wife in order to know that she's happy. So then he have a guy that's cleaning the house doing things for the kid. I mean, there's been doing everything. I I was a guy at one time. I was I look I did the dishes look at all this and log My zip I did ex-wife would walk in. How come you haven't wipe the counters off and I haven't finished yet. Now we have sex. I've been there. I've been there were boarded the response that is completely different and you actually talk about this in your book, you know, there's there's so many Dynamics the whole, you know, since we're kind of, you know, kind of leaning towards longer-term relationship here. There's so many dynamics that go into this great book by Esther perel called mating in captivity says it actually intimacy and hot sex don't play em together now intimacy mean we know each other really well, we've gotten comfortable with each other. We've got a predictability to our life the thing that most relationship experts Point couples torque. We have great communication. We work things out or great team, but she says that actually works against the polarity of having, you know, really great hot sex. And so, you know, it's almost dead. I don't think we have to choose one or the other. She's not saying that but we do need to know that in those long-term relationships kind of the Mormon that just be together starts to feel routine that starts to take a bath the sex now there's a lot of other things that they can go in to this change. Sometimes it's is the man is is a lazy lover or a city lover. You know, he just thinks poking his partner, you know, Thursday is a way to do it. Sometimes he's using his own emotional neediness and approaching her to get sex like doing the the kitchen thing and now have sex when they have sex with me and what I found is that a women don't necessarily reject the desire their partner to have sex. They reject the neediness. That's behind it. Come validate me make feel okay by having sex with me think they pushed that away off like no women don't want that that that's that hose hooked up to them where their Partners going to, you know, fuck them and say, okay. I'm loved I'm good, you know, whatever other pieces job. Go into this as well part of it, you know going back a little bit of clarity we've touched on is that most women and culture nowadays are in their masculine so much. They're doing all the time. They getting ready to go work. They go to work deal with customers, you know co-workers management, then I got to get back home from work. Now there's dishes to be done dinners. And if there's kids most often parenting is masculine doing the kids need to get their homework done. They need to have a bath and you'd have dinner they need to get the bed and then, you know, the man gets in bed that night gives her a little shoulder rub off and she's going. Oh no one more thing I've got to do and that's how it feels right feels like oh, I gotta do one more thing which is again masculine and the deepest thoughts and desires to be done its to be open and blessed and but if if a woman has been so much in her masculine all day. There's most women off. Good at making that switch. Right? So one of the things that I teach men guys sent, you know say guys new in a relationship or beshi long-term relationship part of our masculine leadership is leading our partner back into her feminine laughter that feminine State and you know, that might mean she comes home. And first thing you say sit down you take you sit down take your shoes off rubber feet say five minutes, you're on the clock tell me about your day. You got my undivided attention and she gets to you know, decompress or feed her being rubbed. This isn't There's No Agenda. If you're right. This isn't the get her in mood for later on if you get her slowed down out of being in that masculine, I put a quote in no more mister nice guy by a lesbian feminist. A lot of feminists don't like her cuz she actually likes men and I'm glad to hear you guys say do too but she's the quote I use it says that the typical woman out. Workplace is just going going and if she doesn't get throttled that back when she comes home. She's going to castrate everything in the home and not because the woman needs to they're just like this needs to be let's get that to you know, it's just like that and so masculine Leadership can be just okay, you know, what are your room change your clothes go put on your sweats, you know, I've said a glass of wine out or go take a bath go read a book go, you know something that let her just get out of that fast. Got to do got a good you gotta do and then often as you said optional needs I think women have a deep need to be heard to seen. I think if a woman knows she's heard and seen that we guys think that might mean listening to them complain all night long and I give an exact. I was dating a woman few years ago. I met her at the mall. She sold me shoes how I met her and so we started dating and so early on some of our dates would go to like a Ruth's Chris restaurant off. And go to happy hour and have a hamburger when she got off work in the mall. There was connected each other so she'd come over and she'd been working all day and and selling shoes or apparel and she just starting complaining, you know, the customers the management of this and maybe if she talked to her mother that day she'd be in a she's always had a pissy mood after I learned after she talked to other so, you know, she'd come in and sit down and be completely I've already got the two glasses of wine in front of us and I realized you know right date. So I just I took my phone out. Like I said, put it out set the timer for five minutes and said we're on a date. I know you just got off work of my undivided attention for five minutes. Give it all to me and like about two or three minutes in she was done it was enough and and then like she and I've had other women thank God for creating that container that they could just decompress get it all out. I wasn't going to fix anything. They just had you know, my undivided attention for x amount of time and dead. Then she could relax and then we'd have a good evening. So that's you know, it's just an example of the masks and Leadership one of the things that I teach all men and I've taught all the women in my life is full of open the door for them, you know, a woman taught me that about fifteen sixteen Seventeen years ago. She just said hey, you know, I never know if you can open my door not just I don't care what you do either open it every time or Dome. Well, no, that's all right. I'm going to open it so car doors office or stored or whatever. I've taught all the women in my life. Wait, I will open the door. I'll come open your I'll put you in the office completely out of the car. Now. The woman doesn't need me to open her door, but it's it creates a little bit of polarity. I'm the doing it done two. It's not a big deal, but I found that it's profound and I found at each guy says do it, but do it consistently cuz the first time you forget to come around and open her door the first time you forget to open again. She's going to just sit there Staffing. They're going. Hey, you taught me this, you know, so so they you know, the feminine wants that consistency, but that little thing I found personally is so powerful my mum even waits for me to open her door. First time. I did it. She said if I waited my dad's been dead for eleven years. So if I waited for your dad to open my door, I'd still be waiting I said, okay, but I'm opening your life. You know, my granddaughter is should be fourteen next month. She wakes up on her door, you know, she loves what she loves One Big Papi comes around so she loves when Granddad, and it opens the door for so now those again, you know, women can open their own doors women can you know probably decompress in their own ways, but I found that say gift we men can get the women with no attachment is not to get them. Okay, you talk about your problems. We're gonna have sex now, right, you know, it's not about that and talking about the pushing for sex on you mention. I teach men never ever push a woman for sex now cuz I'm such a nice guy and I'm you know, you know doing my oh look at me. I'm a good guy because with a few horrible women have been poked at their entire lives. And since yeah, there's a reason hashtag me to exist women have been poked and I have found if a man is in his masculine setting the tone and leading being himself creating polarity. He doesn't have to push a woman for sex. I felt that the women are often sexual aggressor with me since I you know, got divorced twenty years ago and started Living, you know, this way with women every woman I've been with is one in more sex than me. I never put a woman for sex ever, but cuz here's the thing. I tell guys whether they're you know, so first time they're trying to get a woman have sex or long-term relationship if the woman for any reason. And has her foot on the break free. Maybe maybe you're on a first or second date and maybe she's didn't shave down there. Or maybe she's on her. Or maybe she's just not ready yet. She knows she's going to have sex with u age she's just not ready yet. So the foot she goes is going to happen but not yet foots on the brake and I told men if you have your foot on the gas and she knows you're pushing person again doesn't matter if it's a second date or you've been married twenty years if she knows you're pushing for sex and her foot's even just a little bit on the break. Guess what she's going to do now, push harder on the brake and all guys. You don't want a woman pushing harder on the sex break. So pushing a woman for sex. Not only thing is violating but it doesn't serve you. Well in the woman doesn't feel loved and it doesn't Make Her Say Yeah penetrate me. Do me fuk to God. I'm ready there like this song. They're like this so I know that's confusing. The men's we want a formula we want. Okay, tell me the three steps, but I found that if the guy games setting the tone needing creating the polarity inviting the woman into that feminine space. She's the one that's already planning about when they're going to have sex. Yeah you guys on your head. Yeah, that you know is absolutely I can agree with this more. I'm so happy. I hear you saying this as well, you know, Natalie built a products all around this master is called bedroom, and she talks so much about this polarity and there's something that was out and we talked about this very openly it's called last minute resistance and it was something that pushed in to pick up Community back home. And we've had a lot of guys get in trouble for this and it's about pushing the woman to have sex if she doesn't want to and a lot of times what I've noticed too and what you're saying is the energy behind them. Is is relationship or not relationship first or second date? It's the woman will be able to intuitive intuitively feel if you're pressing the brakes or if you're putting the gas on. Yeah. Yeah, if you're off the formula exactly. So if you're pushing excuse me, so it's not about having. Oh I need to do this specific formula. It's about just embodying. You're like you really knowing who you are as a young man and really standing up to that and positioning herself in that way and I tell like men this all the time and I remind them, you know, you as a guy can probably walk outside of a neighborhood. That's maybe not so good at 10:00 at night. But as a Woman by yourself and a black shirt if you wanted to doesn't matter, but as a woman we can't do that without feeling like we're going to be in trouble. I tell mid all the time to really understand what you you're saying right now. I tell men ask any woman, you know that she feel safe walking in her own neighborhood at night well and Thursday No, the majority of women are going to say ha don't do it. And you know, I'll even you know here in Puerto Vallarta where I live see a woman walking at night on a dark Street by yourself. I'm thinking woman. What were you thinking back? And you know again, I'm not saying that in any way justify like what the whole rape culture thing, but women have never felt safe walking the planet and I told men if you understand that women by nature or security seeking creatures and trust is everything. I was actually doing an interview one time with a couple of women on a television show more Middle Ages actually known no Ashok. So I went to the radio Studios was talking to them and I made the comment on a commercial break that I said. tell men I said if you fuck with a woman's trust you're going to fuck with her lust and the new ones that thought. Oh, yeah, you need to say that when we come back from break and I said guys say that on the radio and they go so if you mess with the woman's trust you're going to mess with the woman's lust and it was funny. Probably about two or three years. Years later, I walked into a coffee shop in the area that lived and and one of those women who did the interview was sitting talking to somebody else that I knew was actually she was a dating coach as well relationship coach wage and she wakes Robert you remember me? I said, yeah. Yeah, I did a radio interview with you just I've got to tell you when said that thing about, you know messing with a woman's trust you mess with their lust she goes I'm you know, fifty-something years old been married for thirty years. I went home told my husband that she said as a woman, I'd never put that two and together in my own head that trust was so essential to open sex is vulnerable for a woman you're getting poked and prodded and penetrated in every way and to enjoy that you've got to let go. Let go you've got to trust and I mean women can bypass that they get drunk enough. They can pray fantasy. They can get into you know, some old trauma-related. You know, I'm with the Jersey And it's saying yeah, but to truly open up an experienced the depth of bliss of and when I say penetration, I don't just mean the guy jack hammer in the woman, you know with this 24/7 hard on. It's about the man bringing all of his Consciousness and presents open heartedness and groundedness and passion bringing all of that yet. Natalie's over there. Yeah. Well, yeah more important because that's the thing is like we were talking about before is the masculine energy. Is that penetrating energy, but as a woman it's all interconnected with how we're feeling and letting go of that guard but also if a man is in that neediness energy needing to validate needing to do this in your intention isn't honest behind why you're even trying to penetrate us a pick up all of your energy you're literally going inside of us. So if I'm sitting there dating a guy and I sleep with him and he's got past trauma. He doesn't love himself. He's you know insecure and he's just trying to log Need to have sex with him validate himself. Now. What was that energy in me? I gotta deal with that kind of pick up your energy now like carry on about my day. So when when you are talking about just that simple thing of like when a woman comes home and you're like they there's a glass of wine for you go change into something comfortable. You've got me for five minutes. It's that and there's no intention behind Old Testament know about that right? There is sexy to a woman and why we would be the ones to initiate sex later because that is sexy to us that right. There is a we get to trust you will just break down anything those break that down even more for men cuz social appears that thing. So yeah again, we'll go back. Let's let's talk about a guy on let's say they got into a third date with woman, you know, and he hears like, you know open he gets laid that night, you know, so he's doing all the stuff to push it and and you know as women you of course know you know why we take out right off. To see you naked that's the whole reason we take you out and you know that, you know, you're not dumb, you know, you know, of course you're not, you know, we're ready. We were that special lingerie off likely, you know, so so and and now that's the point. I really want to make, you know, when you're ready. It's going to happen and I tell guys, okay listen. A woman knows within the first 30 seconds of meeting a guy if there's a possibility she's going to wear that sexy lingerie, right? I can't know for sure if she's going to she just knows if there's not a possibility and you know, then all the guys from there they use the nice guy seduction or the pick up stuff or trying to buy you enough drinks hoping that'll yeah with some wage their insecurities and their alcohol issues. It does happen. But the woman know so I tell the guy so you really don't have to make this happen as Chris Rock Says just don't say anything really stupid. Don't mess up. Right. So the woman knows if it's going to happen right or not. She no she doesn't know when but and and you know, because of all the cultural slut-shaming off and have to Cana like, well I want to do it right now, but I'm going to give it, you know, 15 more minutes before I get, you know, put on the laundry because you know, have to culturally blah blah a bunch of noise, but it off What is so so I tell guys think about it this way if she already in her mind is entertained the idea. She's going to wear that lingerie with you. You don't have to push. All you have to do is show up be you, you know, bring that good vibe cuz you women are so sensitive to energy. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be playful be affectionate took her hand and lead her oldest a way for me to open your door invite her into your great life or she gets to see this guy's got a fucking great life. I'm not talking about a great apartment a great cook. I mean those could be part of it. But that you've got friends. You've got a life. You're you're a social animal you you take care of yourself. Let her see that part of your life. You keep getting the tone and leading what I found when I was dating again. I never pushed a woman for sex put never pushed him to get naked, but I am very affectionate and I will set the tone and I will be Adventures. And I will call a woman up and say I'm at your house in 30 minutes be ready to go. I will do those kinds of things. And what I found is then the women put their foot on the gas and and off, you know, either dropping the innuendo about sex or say come over to dinner in my house Friday night, you know, then, you know, she's going to have the lingerie ready. So I tell them don't push cuz you don't have to you don't have to now that doesn't mean I don't tell I tell guys but that don't mean to be passive, you know be know, assert yourself be bold and when the dog opens by all means walk through that door now you may have to do something like, you know, the woman's, you know been making little innuendo you may just have to do the Bold thing and my kind of was all right, you know take your clothes off and go get in my bed. Oh, I can't believe you're telling me what to do, you know what to do. So I tell men her to do what she already wants to do. Now that again that's not like oh you're going to read her mind off. You guys you you gals send the signals when it's time when you're ready. You're not that hard like me use our mouths. We we think you know those thoughts your hand might end up on his crotch outside of his jeans. There's some signal for the guy to say it happens. It happens and for the guy to say, but I've had to say women this is as far we can go in a public setting somewhere else. So if you do that, Yeah, that's amazing. I definitely oh man, this is so good. I'm like my mind is like

Partner Puerto Vallarta Robert Natalie Esther Perel Jack Hammer Apple Chris Rock Rape Radio Studios
No More Mr. Nice Guy | Robert Glover | Write Your Legend Podcast with Apollonia Ponti and Natalie Stavola - burst 01

Write Your Legend

28:10 min | 4 months ago

No More Mr. Nice Guy | Robert Glover | Write Your Legend Podcast with Apollonia Ponti and Natalie Stavola - burst 01

"She will, you know, she's strong needs to be done. And so the thing that I learned is that a woman can't follow her a man doesn't lead that's true on the Dancefloor. It's is true in relationship. Now that leadership is not dead. Do it my way, you know, it's not about that that kind of controlling dominance. It's just showing up with a plan and having a sense of confidence about you that you know where you're going and you invite the woman to come along same on the dance floor is it I'm not going to ask the woman in between each move every step. Do you want to have this done now? Would you like a cross body move? Should I do a pretzel with you? Should I know I'm just going to lead her and if she likes the way I lead she's going to relax into that and follow and be blessed by that. If you don't like the way I lead single find another partner to dance with that's fine that it works. Well, but if I don't lead we're just going to stand there on the Dance Floor, you know kind of looking at each other until one of us gets bored and walks away. So that leadership is crucial and when I found when guys are trying to figure out what to make what to do make a woman happy and pleased or there's no real leadership. It's like I said be like me asking a woman every move. What do you want to next? do you want today off? And you're laughing cuz I've asked women in front of men. I'm teaching I'll say do you like it? Well, what do you like when your man says what do you want to tonight? You want to go out? Where do you want to go for dinner in the women go is needed to make a decision. Right? But I don't like it. I'll tell you but make a decision instead of times. I've had that argument with with some dating like I forgot to tell you, I don't like that. I'm going to change my mind you're going to say let's get Chinese food and I'm gonna say I want Italian but it doesn't matter. I just want you to make a decision cuz make a decision. Yeah, and that is super hard cuz that goes back to the man same. Maybe I'll do something wrong. And one thing I've been preaching to men for quite some time in marriage therapy. And otherwise, is that a woman's reaction to anything that a man does does not determine the rightness or wrongness of the thing man did write the man says, let's go get Chinese. You said I was thinking Italian he didn't do anything wrong cuz you had a different wage. Opinion on that. So this is you know, the work that I do with men is learning as a you know, start living life on your terms live life the way you want them live it and invite a great woman to come tag along with you to come join in your great life. Don't try to figure out how do I fit into her life? How do I make her happy? How do I make her want to be my girlfriend? I want to suck Ur clothes off. Don't worry about that stuff. You live your great life lead give her the chance to follow now. Here's the thing with that what if they're already in a relationship and all of a sudden? They're learning about this. How long does that take? Do all of a sudden they just come home and they're like, maybe like a big daddy 301 is here is here and she's like in leading this whole time. Yeah. So how does how do you do you get that like that leading birth? That is such a good question. When I wrote no more mister. Nice guy. I wrote in there I said when I started working with nice guys, and and because it does shake up a relationship if they're in one thousand. It shakes up everything, you know, the guy starts setting boundaries or starts asking for what he wants or start saying no or start spending more time with his guy friends, you know starts pursuing his his passion is going to shake things up and and I say in the book that I when I first started seeing this I gave relationships about a fifty-fifty chance that they would survive the the guy doing a nice guy recovery and I write in the book then over time. I started giving it more of a 60-40 that it wasn't going to work. And by the time I wrote book, I'd 7030. I'm about at 8020 now home and you know, we're kind of laughing about it. But the truth is yeah if if a couple of gotten together and fallen into a routine that that is some level is comfortable. Serve them even if it's painful and toxic it could be challenging to break that up. So mental asked me a lot of times say well sure. I show my wife or my girlfriend your book. I'm gonna go by all means, why am a copy, you know, let them have a copy and let them start underlining and writing in it and you tell them what it is that you're wanting to work on and what you're learning and how you want to be in this world. And and you know, do this is a team effort and in my experience. I'm a say in general women like my book, you know, when the book up published. I think the Publishers are thoughts going to create this big controversial but it never did. I maybe have gotten three angry emails from women in twenty years so women like the book cuz it's teaching men can be honest and transparent and and you know good men. Not not just pleasing nice guys. So I have found that a lot of women are really supportive of this work log. I got to visit a couple had worked with a number of years ago. I started working with the man over time and then he met the woman they got married. They're they're like 50, so they're both like second marriage for each of them and they came down to Puerto Vallarta where I live and did some work with me a few years ago and I forgot to visit them about three weeks ago and and the woman said to me says Robert finished that other book you're working on around what I call positive emotional tension women tend to like the stuff that I teach and couples therapy. You know, when I would start with the man just like in dance class, you gotta start with the lead, you gotta show them how to leave where the followers got nothing to lead. So I start with the man and I get the big two-by-four out smack him upside the head and say, okay, here's how women are wired. Here's what's important to them. Here's what most men get wrong. And here's what we're going to work on and usually the women have gone to look at their husbands or boyfriend and go this guy gets women. I like him. And so So when I found his women are pretty supportive of this Dynamic and many men had told me. Hey my wife gave me your book my ex-wife gave me your book an ex girlfriend gave me your book off. So women are spreading the word and they want men that they can trust that they can depend on who will set the tone and Lead who they can open up and Trust. Yeah because it's an honest with themselves and how can they be honest in a relationship if I can't depend on you to open up and tell me like what's going on? What you need? How can we be a team song? Yeah. I'm very obviously have apple and I are huge fans of the book. Yeah, and another point you talk about in one of your chapters and the no more mister nice guy book is with with life in general, right? I am a true believer that women look at sex differently than men look at 6 and men look at sex differently and intimacy is emotional for women, right? So we need our emotional needs to be met off. Order to want to have sex either with our partner or in our marriage whatever the case may be and sometimes those marriages can end up dying down and then we look up as sometimes what I've seen as well is that the men is looking at this as my wife isn't having sex with me. So I need to push for sex in order to feed the validation from within me. Right and so the woman was like, oh, I'm just not there mentally emotionally because of XYZ. I'm going through a hard time in life. And so what happens is he pushes more so than the relationship gets disconnected when they really weren't disconnected really in the first place. Yeah, but since the sex was pushed it was more and then I've seen that Spectrum happened in a lot of you know people that we work with and then the other spectrum is I mean to have sex with my wife in order to know that she's happy. So then he have a guy that's cleaning the house doing things for the kid. I mean, there's been doing everything. I I was a guy at one time. I was I look I did the dishes look at all this and log My zip I did ex-wife would walk in. How come you haven't wipe the counters off and I haven't finished yet. Now we have sex. I've been there. I've been there were boarded the response that is completely different and you actually talk about this in your book, you know, there's there's so many Dynamics the whole, you know, since we're kind of, you know, kind of leaning towards longer-term relationship here. There's so many dynamics that go into this great book by Esther perel called mating in captivity says it actually intimacy and hot sex don't play em together now intimacy mean we know each other really well, we've gotten comfortable with each other. We've got a predictability to our life the thing that most relationship experts Point couples torque. We have great communication. We work things out or great team, but she says that actually works against the polarity of having, you know, really great hot sex. And so, you know, it's almost dead. I don't think we have to choose one or the other. She's not saying that but we do need to know that in those long-term relationships kind of the Mormon that just be together starts to feel routine that starts to take a bath the sex now there's a lot of other things that they can go in to this change. Sometimes it's is the man is is a lazy lover or a city lover. You know, he just thinks poking his partner, you know, Thursday is a way to do it. Sometimes he's using his own emotional neediness and approaching her to get sex like doing the the kitchen thing and now have sex when they have sex with me and what I found is that a women don't necessarily reject the desire their partner to have sex. They reject the neediness. That's behind it. Come validate me make feel okay by having sex with me think they pushed that away off like no women don't want that that that's that hose hooked up to them where their Partners going to, you know, fuck them and say, okay. I'm loved I'm good, you know, whatever other pieces job. Go into this as well part of it, you know going back a little bit of clarity we've touched on is that most women and culture nowadays are in their masculine so much. They're doing all the time. They getting ready to go work. They go to work deal with customers, you know co-workers management, then I got to get back home from work. Now there's dishes to be done dinners. And if there's kids most often parenting is masculine doing the kids need to get their homework done. They need to have a bath and you'd have dinner they need to get the bed and then, you know, the man gets in bed that night gives her a little shoulder rub off and she's going. Oh no one more thing I've got to do and that's how it feels right feels like oh, I gotta do one more thing which is again masculine and the deepest thoughts and desires to be done its to be open and blessed and but if if a woman has been so much in her masculine all day. There's most women off. Good at making that switch. Right? So one of the things that I teach men guys sent, you know say guys new in a relationship or beshi long-term relationship part of our masculine leadership is leading our partner back into her feminine laughter that feminine State and you know, that might mean she comes home. And first thing you say sit down you take you sit down take your shoes off rubber feet say five minutes, you're on the clock tell me about your day. You got my undivided attention and she gets to you know, decompress or feed her being rubbed. This isn't There's No Agenda. If you're right. This isn't the get her in mood for later on if you get her slowed down out of being in that masculine, I put a quote in no more mister nice guy by a lesbian feminist. A lot of feminists don't like her cuz she actually likes men and I'm glad to hear you guys say do too but she's the quote I use it says that the typical woman out. Workplace is just going going and if she doesn't get throttled that back when she comes home. She's going to castrate everything in the home and not because the woman needs to they're just like this needs to be let's get that to you know, it's just like that and so masculine Leadership can be just okay, you know, what are your room change your clothes go put on your sweats, you know, I've said a glass of wine out or go take a bath go read a book go, you know something that let her just get out of that fast. Got to do got a good you gotta do and then often as you said optional needs I think women have a deep need to be heard to seen. I think if a woman knows she's heard and seen that we guys think that might mean listening to them complain all night long and I give an exact. I was dating a woman few years ago. I met her at the mall. She sold me shoes how I met her and so we started dating and so early on some of our dates would go to like a Ruth's Chris restaurant off. And go to happy hour and have a hamburger when she got off work in the mall. There was connected each other so she'd come over and she'd been working all day and and selling shoes or apparel and she just starting complaining, you know, the customers the management of this and maybe if she talked to her mother that day she'd be in a she's always had a pissy mood after I learned after she talked to other so, you know, she'd come in and sit down and be completely I've already got the two glasses of wine in front of us and I realized you know right date. So I just I took my phone out. Like I said, put it out set the timer for five minutes and said we're on a date. I know you just got off work of my undivided attention for five minutes. Give it all to me and like about two or three minutes in she was done it was enough and and then like she and I've had other women thank God for creating that container that they could just decompress get it all out. I wasn't going to fix anything. They just had you know, my undivided attention for x amount of time and dead. Then she could relax and then we'd have a good evening. So that's you know, it's just an example of the masks and Leadership one of the things that I teach all men and I've taught all the women in my life is full of open the door for them, you know, a woman taught me that about fifteen sixteen Seventeen years ago. She just said hey, you know, I never know if you can open my door not just I don't care what you do either open it every time or Dome. Well, no, that's all right. I'm going to open it so car doors office or stored or whatever. I've taught all the women in my life. Wait, I will open the door. I'll come open your I'll put you in the office completely out of the car. Now. The woman doesn't need me to open her door, but it's it creates a little bit of polarity. I'm the doing it done two. It's not a big deal, but I found that it's profound and I found at each guy says do it, but do it consistently cuz the first time you forget to come around and open her door the first time you forget to open again. She's going to just sit there Staffing. They're going. Hey, you taught me this, you know, so so they you know, the feminine wants that consistency, but that little thing I found personally is so powerful my mum even waits for me to open her door. First time. I did it. She said if I waited my dad's been dead for eleven years. So if I waited for your dad to open my door, I'd still be waiting I said, okay, but I'm opening your life. You know, my granddaughter is should be fourteen next month. She wakes up on her door, you know, she loves what she loves One Big Papi comes around so she loves when Granddad, and it opens the door for so now those again, you know, women can open their own doors women can you know probably decompress in their own ways, but I found that say gift we men can get the women with no attachment is not to get them. Okay, you talk about your problems. We're gonna have sex now, right, you know, it's not about that and talking about the pushing for sex on you mention. I teach men never ever push a woman for sex now cuz I'm such a nice guy and I'm you know, you know doing my oh look at me. I'm a good guy because with a few horrible women have been poked at their entire lives. And since yeah, there's a reason hashtag me to exist women have been poked and I have found if a man is in his masculine setting the tone and leading being himself creating polarity. He doesn't have to push a woman for sex. I felt that the women are often sexual aggressor with me since I you know, got divorced twenty years ago and started Living, you know, this way with women every woman I've been with is one in more sex than me. I never put a woman for sex ever, but cuz here's the thing. I tell guys whether they're you know, so first time they're trying to get a woman have sex or long-term relationship if the woman for any reason. And has her foot on the break free. Maybe maybe you're on a first or second date and maybe she's didn't shave down there. Or maybe she's on her. Or maybe she's just not ready yet. She knows she's going to have sex with u age she's just not ready yet. So the foot she goes is going to happen but not yet foots on the brake and I told men if you have your foot on the gas and she knows you're pushing person again doesn't matter if it's a second date or you've been married twenty years if she knows you're pushing for sex and her foot's even just a little bit on the break. Guess what she's going to do now, push harder on the brake and all guys. You don't want a woman pushing harder on the sex break. So pushing a woman for sex. Not only thing is violating but it doesn't serve you. Well in the woman doesn't feel loved and it doesn't Make Her Say Yeah penetrate me. Do me fuk to God. I'm ready there like this song. They're like this so I know that's confusing. The men's we want a formula we want. Okay, tell me the three steps, but I found that if the guy games setting the tone needing creating the polarity inviting the woman into that feminine space. She's the one that's already planning about when they're going to have sex. Yeah you guys on your head. Yeah, that you know is absolutely I can agree with this more. I'm so happy. I hear you saying this as well, you know, Natalie built a products all around this master is called bedroom, and she talks so much about this polarity and there's something that was out and we talked about this very openly it's called last minute resistance and it was something that pushed in to pick up Community back home. And we've had a lot of guys get in trouble for this and it's about pushing the woman to have sex if she doesn't want to and a lot of times what I've noticed too and what you're saying is the energy behind them. Is is relationship or not relationship first or second date? It's the woman will be able to intuitive intuitively feel if you're pressing the brakes or if you're putting the gas on. Yeah. Yeah, if you're off the formula exactly. So if you're pushing excuse me, so it's not about having. Oh I need to do this specific formula. It's about just embodying. You're like you really knowing who you are as a young man and really standing up to that and positioning herself in that way and I tell like men this all the time and I remind them, you know, you as a guy can probably walk outside of a neighborhood. That's maybe not so good at 10:00 at night. But as a Woman by yourself and a black shirt if you wanted to doesn't matter, but as a woman we can't do that without feeling like we're going to be in trouble. I tell mid all the time to really understand what you you're saying right now. I tell men ask any woman, you know that she feel safe walking in her own neighborhood at night well and Thursday No, the majority of women are going to say ha don't do it. And you know, I'll even you know here in Puerto Vallarta where I live see a woman walking at night on a dark Street by yourself. I'm thinking woman. What were you thinking back? And you know again, I'm not saying that in any way justify like what the whole rape culture thing, but women have never felt safe walking the planet and I told men if you understand that women by nature or security seeking creatures and trust is everything. I was actually doing an interview one time with a couple of women on a television show more Middle Ages actually known no Ashok. So I went to the radio Studios was talking to them and I made the comment on a commercial break that I said. tell men I said if you fuck with a woman's trust you're going to fuck with her lust and the new ones that thought. Oh, yeah, you need to say that when we come back from break and I said guys say that on the radio and they go so if you mess with the woman's trust you're going to mess with the woman's lust and it was funny. Probably about two or three years. Years later, I walked into a coffee shop in the area that lived and and one of those women who did the interview was sitting talking to somebody else that I knew was actually she was a dating coach as well relationship coach wage and she wakes Robert you remember me? I said, yeah. Yeah, I did a radio interview with you just I've got to tell you when said that thing about, you know messing with a woman's trust you mess with their lust she goes I'm you know, fifty-something years old been married for thirty years. I went home told my husband that she said as a woman, I'd never put that two and together in my own head that trust was so essential to open sex is vulnerable for a woman you're getting poked and prodded and penetrated in every way and to enjoy that you've got to let go. Let go you've got to trust and I mean women can bypass that they get drunk enough. They can pray fantasy. They can get into you know, some old trauma-related. You know, I'm with the Jersey And it's saying yeah, but to truly open up an experienced the depth of bliss of and when I say penetration, I don't just mean the guy jack hammer in the woman, you know with this 24/7 hard on. It's about the man bringing all of his Consciousness and presents open heartedness and groundedness and passion bringing all of that yet. Natalie's over there. Yeah. Well, yeah more important because that's the thing is like we were talking about before is the masculine energy. Is that penetrating energy, but as a woman it's all interconnected with how we're feeling and letting go of that guard but also if a man is in that neediness energy needing to validate needing to do this in your intention isn't honest behind why you're even trying to penetrate us a pick up all of your energy you're literally going inside of us. So if I'm sitting there dating a guy and I sleep with him and he's got past trauma. He doesn't love himself. He's you know insecure and he's just trying to log Need to have sex with him validate himself. Now. What was that energy in me? I gotta deal with that kind of pick up your energy now like carry on about my day. So when when you are talking about just that simple thing of like when a woman comes home and you're like they there's a glass of wine for you go change into something comfortable. You've got me for five minutes. It's that and there's no intention behind Old Testament know about that right? There is sexy to a woman and why we would be the ones to initiate sex later because that is sexy to us that right. There is a we get to trust you will just break down anything those break that down even more for men cuz social appears that thing. So yeah again, we'll go back. Let's let's talk about a guy on let's say they got into a third date with woman, you know, and he hears like, you know open he gets laid that night, you know, so he's doing all the stuff to push it and and you know as women you of course know you know why we take out right off. To see you naked that's the whole reason we take you out and you know that, you know, you're not dumb, you know, you know, of course you're not, you know, we're ready. We were that special lingerie off likely, you know, so so and and now that's the point. I really want to make, you know, when you're ready. It's going to happen and I tell guys, okay listen. A woman knows within the first 30 seconds of meeting a guy if there's a possibility she's going to wear that sexy lingerie, right? I can't know for sure if she's going to she just knows if there's not a possibility and you know, then all the guys from there they use the nice guy seduction or the pick up stuff or trying to buy you enough drinks hoping that'll yeah with some wage their insecurities and their alcohol issues. It does happen. But the woman know so I tell the guy so you really don't have to make this happen as Chris Rock Says just don't say anything really stupid. Don't mess up. Right. So the woman knows if it's going to happen right or not. She no she doesn't know when but and and you know, because of all the cultural slut-shaming off and have to Cana like, well I want to do it right now, but I'm going to give it, you know, 15 more minutes before I get, you know, put on the laundry because you know, have to culturally blah blah a bunch of noise, but it off What is so so I tell guys think about it this way if she already in her mind is entertained the idea. She's going to wear that lingerie with you. You don't have to push. All you have to do is show up be you, you know, bring that good vibe cuz you women are so sensitive to energy. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be playful be affectionate took her hand and lead her oldest a way for me to open your door invite her into your great life or she gets to see this guy's got a fucking great life. I'm not talking about a great apartment a great cook. I mean those could be part of it. But that you've got friends. You've got a life. You're you're a social animal you you take care of yourself. Let her see that part of your life. You keep getting the tone and leading what I found when I was dating again. I never pushed a woman for sex put never pushed him to get naked, but I am very affectionate and I will set the tone and I will be Adventures. And I will call a woman up and say I'm at your house in 30 minutes be ready to go. I will do those kinds of things. And what I found is then the women put their foot on the gas and and off, you know, either dropping the innuendo about sex or say come over to dinner in my house Friday night, you know, then, you know, she's going to have the lingerie ready. So I tell them don't push cuz you don't have to you don't have to now that doesn't mean I don't tell I tell guys but that don't mean to be passive, you know be know, assert yourself be bold and when the dog opens by all means walk through that door now you may have to do something like, you know, the woman's, you know been making little innuendo you may just have to do the Bold thing and my kind of was all right, you know take your clothes off and go get in my bed. Oh, I can't believe you're telling me what to do, you know what to do. So I tell men her to do what she already wants to do. Now that again that's not like oh you're going to read her mind off. You guys you you gals send the signals when it's time when you're ready. You're not that hard like me use our mouths. We we think you know those thoughts your hand might end up on his crotch outside of his jeans. There's some signal for the guy to say it happens. It happens and for the guy to say, but I've had to say women this is as far we can go in a public setting somewhere else. So if you do that, Yeah, that's amazing. I definitely oh man, this is so good. I'm like my mind is like

Partner Puerto Vallarta Robert Natalie Esther Perel Jack Hammer Apple Chris Rock Rape Radio Studios
Oakland Athletics get a playoff shot at the Houston Astros

Smart Money with Doug Horne

00:27 sec | 4 months ago

Oakland Athletics get a playoff shot at the Houston Astros

"A's in the division series this week, Esther's manager, Dusty Baker, on what makes the essay so tough guys walk and what stands out is the thing that they have an outstanding Bulls fan. Good starters as well. Well, you can catch the game on sports Talk. 7 90 beginning tomorrow at three. You can hear all the pre game inside as well. That starts it, too. And in Texas college football

Dusty Baker Esther Bulls Texas Football
Want To Dismantle Racism In Science? Start In The Classroom

Short Wave

09:25 min | 4 months ago

Want To Dismantle Racism In Science? Start In The Classroom

"All right today in the show were unscrewing what's not working in science education around representation and racism, and how to teach science in a more inclusive way and idea from listener and scientists Esther Kunle yes. Thanks to Esther we went looking for K., through twelve teachers teaching at the intersection, of Science, and racial justice at all grade levels I want to start with. Let me see fears. She's a post doctoral fellow in the collaborative for stem education and outreach at Vanderbilt. Okay. She's a black scientist. Out in science classrooms Tennessee in among fifth graders. At this one particular school, she is a total rockstar. So walk into a classroom and they'll be like. Yeah it's me. It's me everyone autographs today. We lit up each others world. Our say, let me see a drops into fifth seventh and eighth grade. Science classrooms like a real life. Miss Frizzle I'm not kidding you. She wheels the cart between classes clattering with beakers and different very interesting looking chemicals and students. They're so intrigued they run up to our like remind wife we've. Just all that stuff and then when she's in the classroom, let me see a doesn't just help them run experiments. She'll also delve into the ethics of designing an experiment. Okay. She'll talk about how wrong the Tuskegee study was, which is winning scientists studied syphilis in black men and withheld treatment Sushi's like introducing bioethics to kids as important part of the curriculum. Yup. Scientists are presented as very human herself included and her students can totally handle these conversations. We see what's happening with this generation with them protest and they're speaking out on, they're not having it. They're not. They're not going to allow us to continue to destroy their and our point is that if science teachers can tap into that compassion and That curiosity and show the way that scientists have messed up. Kids might take an interest in science I love, and if we can't do that, then we are GonNa lose them and I think it's hard for minority kids. They already don't see themselves as the teacher or the Christmas doing the science. So that already unemployed simple block of well, that's just what the old white man with the crazy hairdo. and. So another thing let me see Ya does is namedrop scientists of color as often as possible. She'll talk about a physicist did Eisler medical physicists had he and Ecole, green astronauts, Joseph Akaba, and genetic APPs. She designed a paper rocket lesson around them and this helps kids develop a mental picture of a career in stem beyond a doctor or a dentist. This is so cool because it's not just about teaching science history, right? It's also helping students see themselves as scientists and for Gretchen Craig. Turner. The next teacher I, want to introduce you to. This level of engagement becomes even more important students get older and start to you know get into their teenage years and develop their own opinions their own opinions about science. Yeah. You know to be critical of it. Oh. Yeah. That was not in my k. through twelve science education hers either I don't remember a lot of writing or opinions being a part of science. In fact, it was very much I believe taught the opinions didn't belong in science right that it was supposed to be a right answer Gretchen teaches. At Burlington Edison High. School. In Washington state she is white and her classroom to be as inclusive as possible and to reflect the diversity of the student body and in her first year of teaching a biotech class. This was back in two thousand, ten in English teacher gave her a copy of the book. The immortal life of Henrietta lacks was like you should teach the steer students. Yeah. So the history of the Hilo Cell Line Yep. So Henrietta, lacks cancer cells were used for years by scientists without her family's knowledge cells that. One. Of the most important cell lines in medical research, her case raises so many questions about patients, rights. Yep questions raised in this book. So Gretchen got a bunch of hardcover books for her class and we read it and. It shaped how I teach in tremendous ways because the students responded to it. So strongly, you know they were excited maybe not at first I still get a lot of Turner. This isn't an English class, right but but they got into it. So into it, it is a six week unit the book in a Science Class. STUDENTS DO SELL labs while they're reading and they journal to. Okay so they're jotting down notes on different themes like medical apartheid informed consent lab science, and at the end they write a big paper and also oftentimes in class, there will be students who who's own families have experienced medical apartheid in the. Effects of that and I think some of the students and see themselves in the story of the lacks family. The conversations become really personal and probing not. You know necessarily what you'd expect in science class but exactly what Gretchen is hoping for well I, think what you know many young people ultimately want from their teachers is to be seen into be heard. And so if the science curriculum. if they feel seen and heard through that curriculum, they're more invested. So when her students learn about genetic testing, Gretchen includes a film about the innocence project and they're a group that uses DNA testing to exonerate those who've been wrongfully imprisoned. And Gretchen has her students, write poetry and songs as kind of oaths to those wrongfully convicted my blood, my skin, my hair, all held the key to my freedom DNA. My eyes glazed over desperate for relief with a pain. I now understood my hand reaches for I. Don't Know How often you're around teenagers. But the. Teenagers of this just tremendous sense of justice and what is right you know, and so those conversations are often very passionate for students But it's also the world that they live in. Wow I mean kwong, there's so many things in here. That are so powerful in and I know there's a lot of science teacher who listened to shortwave who might want to incorporate racial justice in history into their teaching too I mean, where do they look well Gretchen and let me see a- had the same advice which is at teachers should fill in the gaps in their own racial understanding I learn about the history of science or their field, and that's exactly what the last teacher I spoke with is doing. Vigia satiety is a college professor at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, and looking critically at her own field statistics has been hard painful work. You know I honestly I just feel like I'm I missed something that was really important to learn about my discipline and I'm I'm a little bit mad at myself for not being curious on my own to figure out the origins of things and she has been startled to realize the full extent to which modern statistics draws upon the work of you. Genesis Francis Colton Karl Pearson Ronald Fisher. Some of the most foundational tools and stem like the normal distribution curve were applied to support their racist and eugenicist theories tools that we. Use today, but we don't really stop to think about the people who created them and why they created them. So the is trying to stop to teach yourself where these came from, but to not rush the process with some slapdash curriculum, she wants to incorporate these historical into her classes with care I want to give it the space deserves and of course, and not not to feel like this awkward add on that people can optionally engage in in a way that centers the students Vigie like all the teachers I spoke with designs, her classes by asking herself who's being left behind with this material, and how can I bring them along? That's what can be gained from. And anti-racist science education I think all of us in our minds have been in or heard of course where the professor says look to the laugh looked the right. One of you won't be here at the end of this time or you know something horrible this should not ever be uttered in a classroom. I say look to your left to your right like I. Want you all to stay. I want you all the love my field as much as I. Love my field because there's so many interesting things you could do with it and we really could use your wonderful mind and our discipline. We could use your perspective and the things that you bring. So basically to change science, we have to change how we teach science. To fix the lab gotta fix the classroom.

Gretchen Craig Science Class Henrietta Esther Kunle Turner Vanderbilt Doctoral Fellow Scientist Tennessee Hilo Burlington Edison High Tuskegee Professor Francis Colton Karl Pearson Ro Washington Physicist Ecole
Friendships at Work and Beyond with Shasta Nelson

Best of Both Worlds Podcast

07:21 min | 4 months ago

Friendships at Work and Beyond with Shasta Nelson

"I've been studying friendship now for twelve years really specifically, I passionate relationships in general but I found myself looking at US some studies coming out talking about specifically at a time for women, how significant their friendships were to their health into their happiness, and yet I was looking around at all of us being so obsessed with the parent child relationship and the romantic relationships, and like we were buying thousands of books and we were like, who am I if I don't have these relationships and it was like that was just like the we think of them as they the kind of things we need in our lives and yet the research shows that those things. Actually aren't always that great happiness and our health and traditionally haven't always been that way and that our friendships that Matt make such a difference I found myself kind of in that space where I was looking around being like, why aren't people talking about this more? Why aren't people doing research on this? Why are we not finding resources for people and that's really what kind of just put me in that space I wasn't because I knew that much about it was because I was. Asking the questions and just trying to find resources for people people I was working with and stop and ever since then I've been reading and devouring and learning, and listening, and teaching, and writing books, and speaking, and gathering up, you know most of its with women and This book puts me a little bit broader. I'm doing more co ED, which is actually very cool too because I've long felt that men I think this is one of the reasons why they die younger than women. And and I think this is why I think men need. I don't think it's a women's issue. I think it's a human need and so I'm really excited to be talking about it in broad terms to but yeah friendship is like the thing. The thing and you actually have a ministerial decree. Don't you approaching this from a really sort of holistic perspective yet my training as a got a massive divinity and I used to pastor and so it felt like a big veer off the road. But when I, look back on it, I was like that was where I was doing marriage counseling I was training small. Groups here Emmy, as a pastor, you're asking the question, how do I bond community what is community and how do people belong and and really thinking through when somebody walks in the door is visitor what does it mean to actually participate belong and so yeah I've in many ways have always been about community and wanting money all of us to feel that sense of. Your belonging and unfortunately in churches, not all of them but unfortunately, in most churches will you can experience that belonging, but there's a lot of. That, you have to believe a certain thing to belong or you have to behave a certain way to behave behavior. You have to appear a certain way to you know and that kind of never rubbed me right either. So it's really just how do we all as humans get that need to feel connected met and ways where we just feel accepted for who we are. So yeah, that's been a life passion. An and what made you want to tackle the workplace side of it then? Yeah, that's a good question I. so here's the thing. My second book was titled French Missy, and that one was talking about how most of us when we feel lonely and as a word that most of us don't actually even use the name very well. But when we feel like we want something more most of us, it's not we want more interaction or that we need to. Know more people that we need to make new friends. Most of us that we need to, we need to have closer relationships where craving intimacy were craving more meaningful relationships, and so I was noticing that a lot of us when we felt lonely, we were like, Oh, I need to go make friends I need to meet people and I was like, no, you actually know enough people you don't feel known by a few and so you need to let go. And when I teach what deepens relationship one of the three things that deepens relationships is consistent time and shared experiences and repeated interaction and I this won't surprise you at all. The number one thing I heard is I don't have time for that I don't have time to be that consistent I can only meet her for lunch once a month or I can only see them once a year I fly out there or I just don't have time to be on the phone I just over and over and over I don't have time. And I've thought, you know I could do my darndest to like into one more hour week and and that's not going when you see the numbers collectively of sixty one percent of US feeling lonely on a somewhat regular basis I was like I don't think I can talk you into one more hour and that's going to make the biggest difference I. Think we need to tackle. You know work is like two adults. What school is two kids. This is where we're spending time with people where we're interacting. We're making our biggest contribution and I was like, why don't we talk about putting friendship and our whole life as opposed to trying to fit it in his personal life bucket with a thousand other things and to me this is really answering the question of how can we? Get more of our emotional social needs met in the biggest part of our lives in that bucket. So it's answering the question I don't have time. Well you do. Doing. Yes exactly. But but I think a lot of people feel a little weird about that. Right? I mean first, we're accustomed to thinking of life in separate spheres but you one is where we can have this this vulnerability, the intimacy with people in our personal lives. You, know we feel a little bit weird about that in in the workplace is, is it okay to be vulnerable and intimate with people at work? Yeah. Absolutely. It is and it's so interesting because we are uncomfortable with it when I was doing the research about thirty percent of esther like. And yet when asked, how many of us lot a friend almost of us are like Oh. Yes. Please in at work like we're not sure it's appropriate but we want one and also it is it is whether we like it or not. It is the number one place adults are making their friends and so that is happening and the much bigger question is it is happening we need it to happen. What we need to do is talk about it more and teach healthy expectations and set this up so that it's best for the people involved and for the workplace and the research shows it is absolutely. Paramount, not to are not only to our individual health and happiness but to the organizations of who we work, which is really fascinating. I mean there's twenty years of research I mean we're talking. Decades and many many different people studying it in a variety of different ways who say if you have a best friend at work, you are the best employees for the workplace you're more engaged you have better treat the customers better. You're less likely to leave. So we're bringing our turnover costs down. You call in sick last year fewer workplace accidents. I mean, you just look down the list and the people who? Have a best friend at work. Absolutely show up and feel more engaged look forward to Monday morning the Monday morning in air quotes and feel like they wanna feel support it and they feel safer brainstorming they feel safer taking risks they feel safer showing up with the ideas and those last few ideas are examples of vulnerability in the workplace and to your point a lot of us are like. Well, we picture people. Telling personal drama and just being all these heated one last night and we picture `vulnerability and we have like these fears the pop into our head immediately and I do teach incremental slow vulnerability when we're talking about disclosing and I teach how to do that and healthy Safeway But more importantly, vulnerability is what we need in order to brainstorm. It's what we need to say, I, actually don't know the answer to this or I actually need help with this or. Not just diversity inclusion is vulnerability. It's like let me I don't want to just have you be a token different person at the table I. Actually want your differences, the impact art answers here and your story to change what we're trying to do and how you're experiencing this and I'm all. When we actually list everything we want for the workplace and how we will be better together it takes an incredible amount of vulnerability to to do that.

United States Emmy Matt Paramount Esther
Bomb-Making Materials Found In Worcester Building During Police Search, near Boston

WBZ Afternoon News

00:41 sec | 4 months ago

Bomb-Making Materials Found In Worcester Building During Police Search, near Boston

"Afternoon after finding bomb making materials in an apartment there while they were executing a search warrant. Police were searching the apartment today in connection with the narcotics investigation involving two men who had been arrested yesterday. Several state state police police units units also also joined joined local local police police and and fire fire to to deal deal with with the the situation situation under under arrest. arrest. 38 38 year year old old David David Nolan Nolan of of Esther Esther and and also also 33 33 year old Uea Wishner. They're both being held on bail and are facing narcotics and fire arms charges. The state Labor Relations Board says and over teachers participated in an illegal strike

David David Nolan Nolan Esther Esther State Labor Relations Board Uea Wishner
"esther" Discussed on The Endless Honeymoon Podcast

The Endless Honeymoon Podcast

02:31 min | 5 months ago

"esther" Discussed on The Endless Honeymoon Podcast

"What is their tablet and toilet time then towel time right? To. You like a cup of hot lavender. T. Extend, that real. Don't you pull. Those light, a candle, or the. Evening light but there's all like recording it like they're just doing that for the video like, do you think they do that every night? that. Okay. That's true. That's a good. It's almost like A. It's like a screenwriter's vision of what bedtime ritual would be. Crushing lavender for my. My nightly meditation ritual is a funny thing that Youtube does to you. An. Influence in general's they make you go like. Even the most mundane things like going to bed. They make you feel like maybe I'm not doing this right like maybe there's a way to maximize like going like jumping in bed. We Esther do you have go Heiko well I guess I was wondering what's the best tip you've like? Have you seen anything that you've implemented into your life and it's been positive From learning it on Youtube I I really wish the answer wasn't no I HAVE I opened the banana from the other side now. Because I I saw a youtube video life video that said, if you flip the banana upside down and you squeeze at both ends like the top of the Little Brown butthole of the banana. Everybody everybody tends to to break the neck of the Banana Peel Down Curious George style. But then what you do is you end up having to hold onto a smaller and smaller amount of the banana. But if you flip it, you hold onto the little neck and you squeeze the butthole on the top and on the sides and then you peel it down it comes off four perfect little little strings, and then you have a handle that you can toss into the garbage and that's straight up from the Internet. I. That the problem there is that that you're solving a problem that didn't exist. For being so evasive open. For you didn't know could be even easier to open easier.

Youtube Esther
"esther" Discussed on The Ron Burgundy Podcast

The Ron Burgundy Podcast

03:58 min | 10 months ago

"esther" Discussed on The Ron Burgundy Podcast

"Good night, everyone. This was Ron and another episode of the run. What you're introducing the show. Oh Sorry is. That you Carolina. Yes, that's me. You're staring directly at me in the daylight so i. Had A rough night. Folks if you're listening if this microphones even on I'm. Going to give it to you straight I am on well. If, you've never gone through a break up with pop star well. It's like a normal break-up except. You can listen to them in Google them and where they're wigs for hours. Hours upon hours. All night, even Oh, listen I know that last episode. UNC A broke up on air, which was crazy and kills me. How hard can you've been? I don't know what you mean. I never said I was heartbroken. The drama fear Improv class listen. You watched the whole series of Gilmore girls in five days. That's eight seasons of a one hour show. Lead I will follow okay. Um well today, we have a famous psychotherapist esther parral. She's amazing. I think it's perfect timing where we have guest today. We. `Super Al.. And I would listen to her podcast over coffee. Esther is here today. Is that what you're saying? Yes? Yes, oh! Should I shower? That depends. When's the last time you showered? I showered on. Tuesday so yesterday. Okay? Yesterday was Sunday, so you shower it about a week ago. I think that's what happened, is it? Twenty twenty or two thousand sixteen. It's twenty twenty Gosh. My sixteen was over four years ago. This is so Laura Gilmore me. And you're my little BRAINIAC. Daughter, Rory. You're better go to Harvard. Okay. I'm going to help you get up, okay. Great timing by the Way Carolina. You booked esther peril after my long distance pop star, girlfriend and I broke up. Wow, really cool. I I'm single. Time for me to get into couples counselling. Let's just splash water on your face and have you ever played the Gilmore Girls Drinking game? It's where you watch gilmore girls and you drink every time. See it as a call you all right. We'll be back with US your prowl after this message. That's cold. You just throw a bucket of water. I'm sorry it was the only thing that could do. You're falling apart, Gosh. Does anyone have a hairdryer. All Ron Burgundy here I don't want to scare you, but every time you step out your door, you run the risk of losing everything. It's true. It's the reason why I didn't leave my house from July nineteen, seventy eight to August of nineteen, eighty two then I, discovered state farm. Actually that's when I discovered the concept of insurance, which would have been helpful back in the sixties and seventies when I was in more than my fair share of Fender Benders, now I live a fearless life full of love and hope because I'm fully insured my homes, my cars, my suits. Suits my sword collection, and between you and me. I with state farm, because unlike all those other guys, state farm feels like a real collaboration. These guys are not weirdoes with headsets to me from outer space. Some of these state farm guys and women to are like neighbors to me. You get state farm, and the future just feels a lot better. You can finally take life by the apples and quit hiding in your house, and that's the real deal. Folks like a good neighbor state farm as there. Hey, that was good i. just made that up. They should use that. With Ron Burgundy new podcast..

Ron Burgundy esther parral Laura Gilmore Carolina Google Twenty twenty Harvard UNC Fender Benders Way Carolina Rory
"esther" Discussed on The Ron Burgundy Podcast

The Ron Burgundy Podcast

03:58 min | 10 months ago

"esther" Discussed on The Ron Burgundy Podcast

"Good night, everyone. This was Ron and another episode of the run. What you're introducing the show. Oh Sorry is. That you Carolina. Yes, that's me. You're staring directly at me in the daylight so i. Had A rough night. Folks if you're listening if this microphones even on I'm. Going to give it to you straight I am on well. If, you've never gone through a break up with pop star well. It's like a normal break-up except. You can listen to them in Google them and where they're wigs for hours. Hours upon hours. All night, even Oh, listen I know that last episode. UNC A broke up on air, which was crazy and kills me. How hard can you've been? I don't know what you mean. I never said I was heartbroken. The drama fear Improv class listen. You watched the whole series of Gilmore girls in five days. That's eight seasons of a one hour show. Lead I will follow okay. Um well today, we have a famous psychotherapist esther parral. She's amazing. I think it's perfect timing where we have guest today. We. `Super Al.. And I would listen to her podcast over coffee. Esther is here today. Is that what you're saying? Yes? Yes, oh! Should I shower? That depends. When's the last time you showered? I showered on. Tuesday so yesterday. Okay? Yesterday was Sunday, so you shower it about a week ago. I think that's what happened, is it? Twenty twenty or two thousand sixteen. It's twenty twenty Gosh. My sixteen was over four years ago. This is so Laura Gilmore me. And you're my little BRAINIAC. Daughter, Rory. You're better go to Harvard. Okay. I'm going to help you get up, okay. Great timing by the Way Carolina. You booked esther peril after my long distance pop star, girlfriend and I broke up. Wow, really cool. I I'm single. Time for me to get into couples counselling. Let's just splash water on your face and have you ever played the Gilmore Girls Drinking game? It's where you watch gilmore girls and you drink every time. See it as a call you all right. We'll be back with US your prowl after this message. That's cold. You just throw a bucket of water. I'm sorry it was the only thing that could do. You're falling apart, Gosh. Does anyone have a hairdryer. All Ron Burgundy here I don't want to scare you, but every time you step out your door, you run the risk of losing everything. It's true. It's the reason why I didn't leave my house from July nineteen, seventy eight to August of nineteen, eighty two then I, discovered state farm. Actually that's when I discovered the concept of insurance, which would have been helpful back in the sixties and seventies when I was in more than my fair share of Fender Benders, now I live a fearless life full of love and hope because I'm fully insured my homes, my cars, my suits. Suits my sword collection, and between you and me. I with state farm, because unlike all those other guys, state farm feels like a real collaboration. These guys are not weirdoes with headsets to me from outer space. Some of these state farm guys and women to are like neighbors to me. You get state farm, and the future just feels a lot better. You can finally take life by the apples and quit hiding in your house, and that's the real deal. Folks like a good neighbor state farm as there. Hey, that was good i. just made that up. They should use that. With Ron Burgundy new podcast..

Ron Burgundy esther parral Laura Gilmore Carolina Google Twenty twenty Harvard UNC Fender Benders Way Carolina Rory
"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

05:55 min | 11 months ago

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

"That also like I need to allow myself that so you inspired me to take a minute and then I kind of was like. Let's out there when I was ready and you were like all right. Let's do this like you need that sort of team dynamic and nowhere else in my life and other job has that dynamic that I have that confrontational nece that push and the energy. It's never been useful anywhere else. It's always aided in my own discomfort or my own hurt even in friendships like I voice. What I feel but it doesn't always help me and in this job it really does to have those moments of like. I'm angry and I need to get allow and now I feel good. I think that's what's really interesting about stripping in particular comparing to other jobs where I think a lot of the anger that I felt at other jobs at my treatment at other jobs Didn't have any place to go and like it does here. You know I can talk to a customer. It'd be like that was rude. You're being rude. You're not behaving correctly and you need to really consider what you're doing for Doodad in an office I mean I I have set boundaries with I used to work in a hospital and I used to work in a doctor's office and people would come in and be really entitled and you know because I was young and because I am ambiguous looking and because I was in college people be really really awful to me and I used to like. Please don't treat me like that. You know but like at work I can be like fuck off you know and that I don't feel as worn down as I did when I was working in an office and things like that And I used to get angrier at work but I also I try to be careful about how I use my energy because when I get angry it can ruin night and I'm just like I still need to pay my bills. I can't and that's hard like it's really hard to be in control of that but your level of control inspire someone like me who who I do get angry and it does ruin my night and it has happened often. I see how you get angry and I'm like Like even sometimes I've seen you deal with a customer and then go on stage do a bunch of poll and you're working out your energy. I've started doing that. And it's made my energy last longer. I'm able to go through a shift with a smile. But that's a very interesting bird of the work. That you just highlighted. Which is I need to regulate I need to self regulate and to monitor my own energy level. My own emotions may own reactivity At the same time that there is a level of intensity in the way that I can respond to someone who does not treat me respectfully in ways that I'm not able to do in other jobs so there was performance not entity that going back to back here and there is intense interaction with others but also intense checking in with yourself. Yes yes like you're saying. Authenticity is so important. But the self care that goes into doing this job. I don't think I've ever been the tech person to I'm doing weekly therapy weekly massages. I Journal every day. I clean my house on such a like meticulous level. That makes me feel good like I do these things. I never had time to do everything that I want to do everything that I need to do and then everything that I want to do so I mean say what you want about sex. But I'm learning a new language saving for my future planning for amazing goals and things and checking things off of the list that stayed dormant for so long but I the thing that I wanted to to just leave both of you with is dead. You have a tremendous knowledge and experience to write and to treat thank you but the the foundational knowledge that you bring with you of seeing people often to a lens of truth that other people don't know and that is tremendous knowledge. Yeah we all have an unofficial resume and it's the part of our lives that have shaped us or so much does that will actually get the skill set for the jobs. We are to find in the future but we can't put any of those experiences on the one page official Risk Esther Parole is a bestselling author speaker and host of the podcast. Where should we begin to learn? More about ESTA paroles world to sign up for her newsletter or to apply to be on the podcast go to Este Para Dot com slash house. Work House work is produced by magnificent noise for Gimblett and Este Para productions our production staff includes Eric Newsham Eva Waltraud. Ver- district Sibley Alex Lewis. Kristen Muller and are coordinating producer is Lindsay Metavsky Taskey. Our recording engineer is Noriko. Okubo and David. Whitmore is our mix engineer. The theme song was written by Doug Slayton and the executive producers of House work are esta peril and Jesse Baker we would also like to thank Nazanin. Rafsanjani Matt Lieber Darien La Beach Courtney. Hamilton Kelly Rose Nick Oxen Horn doctor Guy Wench Catherine Menchu and routine at the muse. Paul Schneider Thomas Curry Johnny come and.

engineer Este Para Dot Este Para Sibley Alex Lewis Paul Schneider Thomas Curry Doodad Eric Newsham Eva Waltraud Doug Slayton La Beach Courtney Whitmore Lindsay Metavsky Taskey Guy Wench Catherine Menchu I Journal Hamilton Kelly Rose Jesse Baker Kristen Muller Okubo Esther Parole Rafsanjani Gimblett
"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

11:07 min | 11 months ago

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

"To explain to those who often have given us everything. They had so that we could become who we want to be. That we're GONNA take a different course. Something about working in the sex industry has always taken that today the edge because there is something about sexuality that often connotes more degraded parts of us and so by definition it is a form of debasement. And that's what these women on on some level want to see this as a as a conscious choice as an intentional shows as a form of emancipation but on the other end it's butting against centuries of the notion that a woman that has had sex is washed up. She's used I think. Control of the narrative is what's really important to me because. I WANT TO BE THE ONE. Who's in that position of being like? I'm going to share this with you because you were lucky that you get me to share it. It's interesting you want to control the narrative but the narrative of your family which was we came from nothing. We came to avoid situations where women had no say. We came here to have a better. And if you go in you dude is. Are you basically taking us back to the bottom? How do you say to us? This is not a bottom. This is me choosing. This is not the same as me being forced to. I mean the you know the moment that stands out is when you see you know they worry about me and then they make me tell them things it didn't know is not true so they want me to lie so that I can reassure them and in a way I have to protect them because they're not going to protect me a total giving them comfort where you're not finding you know and I have to tell them that. I'm that I live within their narrative so as so for someone who wants to control the narrative that's not necessarily what happens at home and then on your end it's you know Who decides what's respectable here. You know like who decides which is the woman that is really a threat to the day of women or a threat to the aggression of men. Yeah I think maybe some of the sort of hatred for sex workers comes from the sphere of infidelity. And you know I personally don't feel like I'm a threat to anyone's marriage because I'm not going to steal your husband or your boyfriend. Nobody you sing is that I may be a dancer that you come to pay for the night. But in fact I enter a family system of which I become recruiting players have an addition for but I am an actor in the play. What am I trying to say to her? You think that you're only dancing for the guy and that you're only working with this one custom Anna track. The Tobacco Company Sing. We don't create addictions. We don't smoke. We don't force anybody to smoke cigarettes. It's not completely accurate. You do have to understand that in their story. When this comes out you are an active participant in a family drama. That you don't even know is going on. You may not think so but you. Are you only control a part of the narrative? That's what I mean by deploy. You didn't addition for I'm excited because this this plays into my anger but also like I think this is so important. I come from a family where we were super. Poor and my dad was just totally cheating on my mom my entire childhood. I think I found my. I like clue of infidelity when I was nine and it was a love letter written by like a twenty one year old to my then thirty five year old dad like I. It's been so prominent in my life and now that I'm a stripper. It's like wait. What do you think I'm the probe like I'm not the problem? Especially when couples come in like couples will come in awkward and the girl will be there the woman will be there and he'll she'll get mad at her husband her boyfriend for tipping or she'll get mad it's like why did you come here. What IS WHY. Would you come with your boyfriend? If you know it makes you upset and you're just going to sit there and why are you pouting? Why are you mad at me? This is my job. I don't come to your job and sit there. Pout about what you do. I'm not the problem I don't like infidelity. And I like clear open communication. That's why I'm doing this job and we're it's a clear dynamic where I'm asking for your tip not your boyfriend's like penis. I don't want him. I want your money. Have you ever heard of a wife or a mother daughter? A customer His daughter texted me and I didn't know the only thing that was weird is I didn't know that it was his daughter and she was texting the threaten me and she was like. I know what you do like leading old men on for money like have some self respect and I didn't it scared. I don't use my real phone number for work so I was like. What is the level of risk here? You know because but other women we work with have had stalkers. And Yeah you know. It's scary stuff and I was a I and I think the only time that ever happened to me and then the customer came back and he was like my my daughter she seventeen and I was like. Aw but now from where I am. It's like especially knowing this customer. It's like I don't want your dad. Get real the Gary girlfriend like we don't strippers. Don't want your daddy boyfriend. Your husband like we just want our money. It's our job and it's Your Dad. Boyfriend husband's choice to come. But when you said that. I was like I was almost embarrassed for myself. I was like I've done that but it wasn't to a stripper. I wish my dad would have been going to strip clubs. What Yeah. I took complicated. I mean I like you about the complicated situation. I now understand when you say that you know I don't make the choice. I thought the same Tim. You are part of their life. Even if you think you're not even if all you think is that you take their money. You're not yeah and so it's not so simple. They come in the they make the decision they do but they bring parts of you back with them and they also give deceit to their partners. When I started I started in December. Which is a very busy months. And the reason why it's a busy month is because when wives go through bank statements they see a t m you know transactions if they go to a strip club and husbands can easily tell their wives got cash for Christmas presents. Which when I heard that I was like. Oh that's such a like wow. That's so hard but also like it you're inter marital interrelationship deceit is not my issue. That's something that you need to do on your own but also those situations are bread and butter. It's interesting there's more on your anger in these more on your sadness yes and it so it's also interesting to see where we are in our careers of doing this like your like anger has kind of faded into more of like there's sadness in that and minus. Oh fresh I know that. There's more anger nearside more militant. Ooh It's not. It's not just some anger. It's it's very direct. It's very clear as much as well is. I think the difference between the two of you. I'm wondering much that is also rooted in the fact that you emphasize and white and privileged and I know my place in society and that you are the child of an immigrant right. I mean I. You're much more confrontational. And you will that. That's not a judgement. This is a I watched your styles and your styles personality and you styles are your history and you start your origins. Yeah and I I. It doesn't mean that I'm not fear. Not Fearful things and. I don't have sadness but I in order to feel authentic. I need to be confrontational. But I have so much empathy for you. Know what I mean like you and like it makes me WANNA cry like hearing the situation because there is a lot of similarity that I've experienced. I've chosen to not have feelings about it because if I get caught up in those chosen to express your feelings differently you process them differently. And you each a complementary parts When you get angry. She says go girl in when she gets mad. You say I feel for you because each one of you expresses the feelings that the other really allow herself to. It's funny because when she chewing many work situations. Yeah but that's means that when you are at work you know this is. This is what happens in many teams right. You could call yourself members of team your members of the Group of dancers and when injustices or inequities or unfair rules or all kinds of work situations occur. You are more likely to be the one that's going to know show you fist. And she's going to be the one that is going to do the risk management of your fist and she's the one that's going to respond with more cautiousness and you're going to be the one that make sure that she does. Not You know. Just retreat like that in silence and that Her rights are protected and that is work dynamics. The angry one or the confrontational one is doing a service but needs to be managed in terms of you know when is it useful and when is it not and the one who goes cautious and retreats and more silence and keeps to herself and Ino assesses? The risks needs to also be encouraged on occasion to stand up and you will help her with the standing up and she will help you with the sitting down. Yeah even I think on Saturday night. I was mad about something and grumpy and stomping around but I was like forcing myself to be out on the floor and I something happened. I need to go to the restroom and you were in there and you were just chilling and having a moment to yourself and I was like I need.

Anna Ino Gary
"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

08:36 min | 11 months ago

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

"True. He's told me that the next day after he sees his blood pressure is like lowered. And like he's feeling calm and he's feeling yeah because he tells me every time. I see him giving me a heart attack so I do the opposite for him. Whatever that means maybe he needs to feel his blood pressure up here and he needs to be stressed out. But I don't know yeah and I think it's just so much of a men wanting to be seen. Obviously it's a Stencil in an environment that caters to them or they have the power because they have the money but like genuinely that is not the power dynamic. At least the more comfortable I get and the longer I do this. I feel like you know you're going to be giving me money. And there's a transaction and you know in any other place in the world you have the power because of the way gender is set up but in that place. I'm just like you know I'm the one saying yes. So I'm the one who has power and and being able to invite them into my space and let them be themselves. I think that's probably why this customer has been seeing me as long as he has because I don't think he gets that anywhere else. That's that's where it was curious about the word enemy because enemy can conjure up to sense that the other person or side is powerful whereas here I think the power dynamic is much more intricate and not nearly as linear. Yes they have the money but you have the affirmation power but you can decide if you want to look at them or not you can make them feel wanted or completely diminished and small. You can you can elevate them. You can ignore them. You can enact the end yes. There's a lot of transactions between men and women women pay even if it's not as explicit and deliberate doesn't Strip club. I've learned that men feel really really good when you choose them and choosing them can just be smiling at them when you're onstage this literally making our contact with them and being like I like you. They'll love that's the customer is going to give you five dollars when you come around and ask you to sit with them customers. Don't some customers like to feel worked? They like to be like. Would you like to buy a lap? Dance? Baby would you like to buy me a drink Would you like to tip me other customers? Like to have an experience where they feel like they're in a bar and they're just hanging out with their friends and it really takes a very nuanced approach to every customer but some strippers do not understand that and they try to work everyone and they're not clued in to what the comfort level of the customer is. Some industries are organized around an intimate interaction between the client. Customer and service provider. This is one of them. It demands highly discernible. Since ability on the part of the provider to know the needs of the customer and then to deliver the service and be paid according. This episode of House work is brought to you by culture. I A new podcast. By the people and culture platform culture amp building better workplace starts with building a better culture. So what can you do as a leader manager or team member tell create a culture? Where people come first. That's what culture first sets out to answer in Frank. Discussions with thought leaders including your favorite psychotherapists Stare Parral Author Simon cynic entrepreneur chip Conley. And more listen as they share their inspiring stories and lessons about the human side of work. Fine Culture I at culture first PODCAST DOT COM or follow culture. I on spotify to make sure you never miss an episode. This episode of House work is brought to you by Atlassian whose collaboration software helps teams work. Better together what? If close-door meetings were open to everyone what if it was okay to tell your boss there bad idea is bad? Atlassian research shows. It would make your team. More engaged and effective open teamwork practices such as allowing all team members to weigh in on decisions or promoting two way feedback with managers improve emotional wellbeing and foster trust strengthens. How teammates work together. That's why Atlassian builds products like Jira confluence and Trello to support open teamwork for over one hundred fifty thousand customers from IBM to Domino's pizza to UNICEF customers rely on Atlassian to keep workers on the same page. Crete's seamless customer experiences or manage projects from start to finish embracing a culture of openwork doesn't happen overnight but Atlassian mix the first steps as simple as possible get started today at Atlassian dot com slash open. That's lassen dot com slash. Open this episode of. Where should we begin is brought to you by the completely reimagined? Twenty twenty four to escape whether you're in the driver's seat for the passenger seat there plenty of distractions on the road. That can interrupted good conversation. The twenty twenty four escape is designed with a suite of available advanced driver. Assist Technologies to help keep you focused on the road and in sync with what matters with the available navigation system. You're combos don't need to turn into full fledged debates about which route is faster. It can help find the best options automatically completely reimagined. Twenty twenty four to escape. It's not just smart. It's street smart. You are acquiring an amazing set of skills that you can use in the club and that you can use in many other jobs you have an ability to intuit an read people to read. What's behind the facade to look for the implicit to distinguish between five people but know that they won't five different things and that it's not the same thing every time you these are unique. Customer CARE skills marketing skills psychological skin sales skills with a blood relation to the outside world. I really struggle with being out or not being out in school But as I'm approaching graduation it's it's another wave of like how. How is this going to impact my future once? I'm getting ready to leave dancing and start working more professionally and I really want to work with sex workers and I want to bring more visibility in mental health to sex workers issues but it's always a struggle of like you know what are the consequences of this going to be for me and I know several other sex workers in my program. Most of them don't really talk about it. don't really make themselves visible in that way which is also fair. But it's also hard to be the person who's known for sex work you know who's known to be that that's the go-to person when people will ask me questions out of context and I'll just be like why is my job now to educate you. I'm also a student. I'm also trying to get my education. So it's it's a hard thing to navigate boundaries. Drop when people know your sex worker foundries. Nope when people know. You're a sex therapist out. You know it's interesting 'cause you also have an opportunity. I see the burden and I see the opportunity Fred Burden wise. Do I have to educate you? You do because you have the knowledge you do because you have the direct experience and you can do a lot of good but it's a question that a lot of people have these days wife. Shall I explain because I'm the only foreigner here because I'm the only person of color here because the only transfers in here because my difference puts me in the responsibility of having to be the educator and hey always thought why not some level so when you hide? Do you feel that you could lewd? I try to be very intentional about how I talk about my work I don't WanNa come from a place of anger or feeling threatened because I think it's not effective for me to do that but there are definitely times where like I react to something in one of my classes by like using my identity and I don't think that that's always the best thing to do unique so.

Atlassian Twenty twenty House spotify Fred Burden chip Conley Stare Parral Crete Frank Assist Technologies Trello IBM UNICEF Domino
"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

09:17 min | 11 months ago

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

"In many work situations people have to straddle. Overlapping Relational Systems that. Do not always play by the same rooms so in the situation of this two women they have the relationship with each other the team. They have the relationship with the customer. The have the relationship with the manager the heavily relationship with the boss. And they have the relational system with the world outside their family and friends and so I decided to start the conversation with them in terms of their relationship with their customers. It's so funny to me because with my regular like he will pay for a room with me and most of it will like slow dance which I think is yeah. It's just like I like full body hug beautiful way and you know and then like he feels me up but it's it's like almost an immature type of relationship because I'm reminded of like a middle school dance you know he's like probably think you have. How what he's thinking about. But you're giving him that intimacy grinding and like yeah and it just. It just reminds me of like a middle school dance. Where like a mid a boy is just like. Oh my God I get to touch boobs and like a bud for the first time just like sure buddy. Thank you with one hundred which you gotta do Okay fine but but I think the the it would not just be that. Like if if that's all that he was coming for he wouldn't have been regular for a year. No is anything that sex gives you access to but it isn't six percent but even the people who I know who do full service and they are getting paid for sex. It's an experience. It's not just the sex. It's sex workers do things by day or by night or you know what I mean. Like the the block of time and it's like dinner and it's like a whole experience and maybe you know maybe some women would consider that infidelity but if you think about it as this customer or client is paying for practice. They want that experience of okay. I'm taking a a beautiful person to dinner. I'm you know we're we're going to a hotel room. I'm giving them luxury. I'm giving them comfort. I'm giving them a pleasure which is obviously like not all clients can can give or want to give pleasure but maybe they do it. It's practice for them. I have customers who come in and they WANNA discuss books or I've customers who come in. Who just like simply want to have a party girl like you know the customer that we mutually C- when I sit with him I order beer. You know and we we drink a beer together and I'm like Oh thank God you're here and I can finally order a beer and be myself like that's the experience that he wants on a cater to him and it's kind of interesting because they become different people so it's really a moment for a customer to become who they're comfortable being day when men pay for sex. What is it that they're paying for? What is the currency of sex giving them access to and part of what they're talking about is the intimacy the visibility? The feeling desirable feeling attractive being accepted not being shamed or humiliated or made to feel small. Somebody who loves a joke being listened to somebody who pays attention who appreciates their presence in the end in a very sexualize environment. A lot of these regulars come to talk and what they really are paying for may be much more emotional and psychological than just the mayor transaction of sex one particular girl and the pep talk with the man is the enemy. We're going to take their money. Let's have a good night every single night and that sets the tone. Yeah like everyone's excited. They're ready for the shift. Yeah like this one. Demand is the enemy. Well like you know. Obviously we love our regulars and we love our customers who treat us well but that is not the majority of the people that come into club. Yeah let me more. I mean you go. We go around for tips on stage for fifteen minutes. We go around for tips. Some customers will respectfully hand you their tip Ranging anywhere from one to ten dollars. A good customer will handle at twenty and give it to respectfully some customers want you to turn around and they want to slap the dollar onto your but as hard as they can and it's like. I'm still going to take that dollar but I'm GonNA remember you or even in some situations strippers of straight up. Slapped customer right back and some people are allowed to break the rules because of how long they've been coming and some people Don't have to have respect for us. Yeah I think that comes back to boundaries too because I feel like in our club and maybe more generally because most clubs are managed by men and I feel like though those boundaries are less clear like like when there are different rules for different customers. Or when different bouncers WANNA do different amounts of work or something like that Which is maybe why we have a strong boundaries as we have and why solidarity and and at least at our club like operating from this place of a trying really hard not to have a scarcity mindset and going into every shift and being like we're all here we're all GONNA make our money. We don't have to make it exactly the same way you know. Everyone has something different to offer. Every customer is looking for something different so there's opportunity for everyone But I think definitely with with the way that management can be kind of inconsistent. That's why it's really important for us to be like. We know what our limits are. We know what we will tolerate and at the end of the day if I have to stand up for myself. I'm going to do that. And she will have support by every single person working with her. No one is going to say your boundaries are invalid because management is not protecting you enough. Yeah and that's a great way to say it too because it's not that they're not protecting us just not always up to what we need one of the things that she's highlighting in terms of analyzing the relationship coach or is this a workplace that operates from place of scarcity or is this a culture that operates with the mentality of abundance. There's enough for everyone to go round versus. Whatever you get is my loss and you can see every work environment is going to negotiate between these two outcomes in terms of the culture of the workplace whence they understand that this is a place of abundance. They also gathered around each other. This support each other. They protect each other and the value solidarity. They stand united. India vendor management will not come to support them in an industry that often does not have an HR representative. Can we more? Birdman be dement enemy. It's a strong line. It's I think. Just a catchphrase. Because obviously like I said we all love our customers in a certain level. I don't again. I'm a shirker stripper so I have a little bit more energy. I mean I appreciate them. Yeah that's a better way. Sometimes but sometimes I feel like even as much as I appreciate them. I'm just like you're not paying me enough for this like the the ego needs of men are so profound and I'm just like it's so much work I appreciate them. I feel like I learn a lot. You learn you have an insight into the male psyche. What are some of the important things you learned? Because you don't only learn about sex you learn about a hoarder set of needs. I think the biggest thing that I've learned has to do with how vulnerable men are how much they need validation and affirmation how much they want to be seen as sexual objects. I think that was the biggest thing that I learned because A lot of people you know going into a strip club you see like beautiful women and we're like dancing and we're taking our clothes off and it's a very objectified atmosphere but at the same time like I'm looking at the men and part of my job is to make them feel sexy and to make them feel wanted. And sometimes it's on a physical level you know and sometimes they want to be told that they're funny and sometimes they want to one. My main customer deals a lot with chronic pain. And like you know just being in physical contact and making eye contact breathing together. You know. He's whether or not this is.

dement India representative
"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

03:00 min | 11 months ago

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

"On the road ahead. Where should we begin? Is The gas for anybody. Who's ever loved thou? I Made House work. Which PODCAST FOR ANYONE? Who's ever had a jump. Join me as we unpacked. Invisible forces that shape work relationships the communication the conflicts and the connections. People want to bring their whole self to work. Well you know what they already do did. Just don't always know about it. Housework is out. Now listen for free on spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. What you're about to hear is an unscripted. One time counseling session focused on work for the purposes of maintaining confidentiality names. Employers and other identifiable characteristics have been removed but their voices and their stories are real. Which names do we WANNA use? Just so I understand but the lines are kind of muddling you know like now when I'm introducing myself someone I'm like. Oh that's not my real name but it's kind of becoming that and when you become close to each other do you start to call each other by real names. Is that a sign of intimacy between I think it is. I think it is too but it's it's an adjustment like I know one of our coworkers real names but I didn't tell her my real name and I was like Mixing Faux Pas here. Like she's been referring to herself as her real name and I haven't been like oh my name is it isn't it isn't a level of intimacy. These two women worked together. We are into Strip club. It is a place where sex gets pedaled within highly regulated and controlled environments. One has started. Recently she's a baby stripper. The other has been in the industry for a while and has much to teach. They both have graduate school education and they are smart vibrant women in their twenties. Who have chosen to make their living for the time being in the sex industry I just. I feel continually undermined. The CIA has always been that place where I've been needed in still important. A lot of people at work for me are like an extension of my family. There's no doubt that your emotional and relational diary comes. We do to work. Imagine going to work every day a new very busy place and no one will make eye contact with you a break up. It doesn't fee. So how's what?.

spotify CIA Strip club
"esther" Discussed on The Bible Binge

The Bible Binge

14:06 min | 1 year ago

"esther" Discussed on The Bible Binge

"Here's the general view but I knew for the season we're trying trying something a little different with the general view. So seasons past Aaron has recorded her of you safe room away from us so we don't attack her for this season we were to try it out with her in the room with us. That's right live rebuking right now. Free faces so without further ado Aaron please take it away but first. Let's talk about this. It's not that we put her in a safe frame. It was that she was like unal. Don't go to Jeeves to blow to you'll sued Really is just weird t technologically incapable. We had a mixture that can only fit to and now we've got one of his tapes. Yeah we got so much money mixer. That's right now we get to heckle her in person. This is very exciting. Knock said no heck okay did we did. Did we ask if you wanted to do this or we like. Hey this is what's going on. I don't remember last year. I do what I'm told. How on a scale to send? How good do you feel about this? Arrangement asked me when it's okay okay. We'll see so before we begin while much of the Bible is meant to stand as a historical document as a record of the relationship tension between God and his people. We sometimes walk into territory. That might feel strange or unfamiliar to us as readers of scripture were very comfortable with the idea of scripture as serious and heavy and that's okay much of scripture is serious and heavy but we can misstep when we try to paint all of scripture with that serious heavy brush so those were leading to something so I wanted to say he is. I think esther while I and many other okay Kobe. Good no that's good. That's good is a historically fictitious comedy. Okay so let's pause and let people gather everyone who's in Sunday school right now listening to this live. Do you feel it okay. You're getting pig in a blanket and it'll be fine nine so we get evidence of this right off the bat. The author of Esther is immediately going over the top Zirk sees rules over one hundred and twenty seven provinces. When in reality the Persian Empire had at the most thirty for six months he had a gigantic feast? He's got the best of everything including The chords on the curtains in his garden. It's a comically absurd description description of opulence and well sort of like Napoleon erecting a statue of himself as a six foot three inch general. It belongs in a satire and that the red is kept up through the entire book the obvious misstatement of historical events etcetera. We also see this in the way. The story is told today in the festival of Purim. There's more on the specifics of that in a later episode this season. But there's like a wild feast. It's crazy and then you're reading this kind of historical satire retire this comedy now. There are some true historical facts in the books which might make us wonder. Why would the author put real historical figures in a book? If you wanted to write a comedic novella we do this. All the time and the best modern example is musical Hamilton. Yeah that's I've just. I'm here for that price. I'm here for that. So the Oxford Baba commentary says quote the blatant historical difficulties the internal inconsistencies the pronounced some history of themes and events the plentitude quoted dialogue and the gross exaggeration in the reporting of numbers involving time people all point to esther as a work of fiction. It's vivid characters except for Zirk sees being the product of the authors created imagination. If if we can change our view of esther as a stern historical document to a historic novella with comedic and satirical elements. We can then understand the book as it was. I you think meant to be read. Adele Berlin identifies the book of Esther as a burlesque or a melodrama type of farce. That can take on a tone of exaggeration. Caricature Ludicrous situations practical. Michael Jokes coincidences improbability. Verbal humor so I would like to propose as we go through this season on the bench. We do our best to address the historical inaccuracies in the taxed while also holding that this is probably not meant to be straight archival documents. So you're saying that guy can work through this just because it's not. I know lots of works fiction. That are still true. Sure yeah there's good takeaways at I think and I think in a research we kind of danced around like okay. Some of this isn't really lining up here. That's right for you Jamie like if you you just listen to Aaron straight from her mouth. DECI changing Christianity. Are you like. Oh my gosh now I still go to heaven you still going to have. Yeah that's that's for me like I think A lot of times when you I think when you think about the Bible anything about ancient writers we hold them to a modern day standard. Entered a of You have to write exactly what you're saying and you have to mind the history and the presence of the moment. I don't think ancient writers had that baggage with them so I think a lot of times. They're selling story and they didn't know how we were going to twist it or take it or interpret it and I think Like Erin saying that's a good example. What's going on here? So that's a great preamble. Thank you for that Aaron. Welcome thank you Hopefully listeners sir that gives you a sense of where we're coming from now. There's no value here. It's just it's a specific kind of value and we're GONNA get it accordingly. There's so much value and I think that is proven by The fact that this is the main texts that is read during Perm- like I think that just because something is not historically accurate doesn't mean that it's not fundamentally true exactly exactly so the first bucs who was fashiony Bauchi Washy Rush Time Dashti. Listen you can lean into that. Although that's not the accurate phonetic pronunciation genet. You can lean it to you like. She's about phonetics very often. God knows someone has to the two of US so a budget. I'm going to save Ashti because that's how we set it in Texas Texas so if we're looking at the story through the traditional Lens of historical document there are several scholars dollars who suggests that bashing might be the wife of disease mentioned by plutarch called Sitara. There's also an element goddess called Mashed Eighty And there is some speculation that the name Vashinsky is a playoff of her Her ashes of course rife with backstory on Bashtiti. It tells the story of ashes father. They're being killed after a falling candelabrum during dinner with dairy of meat and Cyrus of Persia in the pandemonium of the King's death. Young Rushdie Set on Darius as lap thinking that he was her father dear took pity on her and married her two as whereas or zirk scenes. Were calling. Thank you Another mid rash tradition tells that Vashinsky was a princess and Zirk sees was the king's steward and in charge of a Horse's circle became a king in the first place just by marrying during her Vast he is super villain is in much of the mid. Russia's I think Jamie mentioned on the episode they say that she loved Nicky for Zirk sees and his minions and she would have done Senate again and again but God gave her full body rash or tail or penis who can say She was also said to have her Jewish handmaid's work in the nude on the Sabbath to humiliate gate them which is why every all the rabbis hang bashed Of course bashed he could just be a plot device. That puts the Jewish character of esther into the leading enroll but she's a very cool awesome plot device deaf so okay. Both you really quick smooch. Mary Kill full-body Rash Getting Tail Penis. Got No we're going to go but I'm definitely only getting peanuts. Oh Yeah I'm not I WANNA peanuts you don't and then the I definitely want to just smooch. The Body Rash Ashqar monitoring detail. That's that's kind of where I landed detail disqualified because I the call fine arts but you can play that you can spend that you said the mid rush talks about that. They have backstory on Wall Street. But like how accurate what would you give percentage of how accurate the mid rashes. Nah It's just is like hate arrayed on it really is really is they go hard for her GonNa love it. They're like she sat on his lap because they thought daddy kind of insinuation. I don't like any of that if NERF gun to your head. is she a plot device or is she not apply to bias. What would you say? I like her so much. I don't WanNa be I WANNA real. Well she's your favorite characters so she has to be adjacent to realness up okay so you guys mentioned that. It is the only book not to mention God. Song of songs actually also doesn't mention God but there is traditionally a reason why the name of God is not mentioned in the book of Esther. The Jewish festival appear where the scroll of Esther is read in its entirety is notoriously raucous and kind of encourages excessive. Drinking the idea that one might get so drunk as they read the Esther Scroll they would forget not to say the name of God which Jewish people are traditionally not supposed to say out loud. Gotcha well in their cups unintentionally sinning by speaking the name To fix this potential problem. The name of God was removed from the story. You know I really I kinda like that. PRE-PLANNING PRE-PLANNING IT's like how in movies you know in a character is GonNa do something wrong and they always go to like a framed picture of their mom and they sit down like on the table. Like I don't want you happy. This is what that feels like well and it also feels like it's not like song of songs because it's erotic poetry its role scattered like that. You tried to check check me. I saw you trying to do no. I was actually looking to see if they're like I was trying to be like. I don't like the term Song of songs I don't like that Song of Solomon probably wasn't written by. Solomon No. I'm just saying maybe it's a song about phones. No for the audio. What you're hearing right now? One of the Nice wrinkles we get is Iran's rebuking speaking and while she's James Working on a pseudo rebuke right like. I don't like Song of songs. I WANNA find out if it's really song or song. This is how the magic agic happens. These are going to be eighty seven minutes. They really are sorry. Okay so you asked Jamie were they doing all of their pooping and peeing. Ray Jamie beside listeners. WanNa know they do one and and I wanted to know so. Toilets appeared in ancient Persia around the eighteenth century century. BC so they were already well established by the time of the events of the book. And Esther No longer just holes dug into the ground or try your best to squat over a drainage ditch it's probable that at least at the palace or in a palace kind of situation they were either outhouses or private toilets built into a wall. There are not a lot of examples of ancient Persian toilets but we do have a lot of examples of estrogen time period. Toilets that remain In the Bet Shean National Park in Israel Israel We have a fifty seven whole public toilet from around the fourth century BC. The seats are made of long marble plants set into the walls under which poop and pee he or swept away into an open sewer and barely missed. Being one of the wonders of the world. Margaret's alternate I think more than likely a palace would have a Lotta private toilets especially as moved up the social ladder But lower class citizens would have to make do with and more public situation Eh. You should have said Doodoo had to make dude post Aaron How'd you feel with the use of your time researching this as the Bible's going like is after plus and how interesting is this that like but there are people in the eighteen hundreds in England who were still using chamber pots bike? And they didn't have this very advanced. Look to have like to have sewer system how do you what would you what. What's your vibe of like a fifty seven seat public the whole love it but you know what I also love? No one touching my. That's true that's true..

esther Aaron Ray Jamie Persia Zirk Vashinsky Knock Solomon US BC Hamilton Bet Shean National Park Adele Berlin Michael Jokes Israel Senate Erin Wan Margaret Doodoo
"esther" Discussed on The Bible Binge

The Bible Binge

08:24 min | 1 year ago

"esther" Discussed on The Bible Binge

"Insert minions it is GonNa be like yeah. Let's go. Women Are Taught Him we get on board with minions so that perfect casting. That is perfect. Okay okay so that's our characters because we're starting a new season new story new chapter Jamie do you WANNA lay some context before we get into the tax. Okay so the book of Esther. It's like we mentioned. It's only one of two bucks in the Bible named after a woman. The other is ruth. We talked about Ruth and season one episode five. It is the only book of the Bible where God is not not named the author is a mystery although some historians believe it could be more to you will see featured in the story or Azra or Nehemiah because of the writing style this. This is the audience. This book is written to you because we see a lot of that in the New Testament and Old Testament were like. WHO's it? Well No. We have an audience very similar to the book of Daniel All. It's all a reminder to the Jewish people of how God saved them from certain destruction and then the setting is ancient Persia This we're specifically in the capital city of Susa you saw at this time. The Persian empire is big like it's India to Egypt massive and the Jews have gone through a really tough time with abalone kings. They've not been great great but Now these Persian rulers are kindly like you said they're kind of easier going however this kindness runs out in the story uh-huh and even though he is not the sharpest the Jewish people find themselves in a very tense situation. The time frame of this is At between when they've been capped Judah was captured and before the exiles to return to Jerusalem. So we've got this between four sixty four for thirty-five this. Interestingly this is the only book in the Bible not found in the Dead Sea Scrolls really interesting. It's very I know we'll talk more about that later. This season to figure out what that all means. Now in the Jewish Bible this book follows Ecclesiastes sees and lamentations. It's always read every year the entire book at the the festival of Purim. which we'll talk about later in the season and then in Protestant Canon it's inbetween myemma and job Roman Catholic they hey put it? Between the book of Judith and Joe for many another woman adulation and it actually. The book of Esther in the Roman in Catholic Canon includes six additional chapters in this book which we will reference. And we'll kind of talk about as we go through okay. Okay culturally context. Women are guys. I don't want to spoil it for you. But most of history women are subservient. Sure their property They're just a connection to like for example if she was a descendant I've never seen Nazer. It was just for power. All this is about They are powerless marginalized I if they did happen to belong to royalty It didn't matter it was more political piece than that's right. You need to show you respect. That's right and then as far as the Jewish people living in the community right now they're scattered heard throughout Persia and a lot of them have been granted freedom to go back to Jerusalem but it's war torn and it's a lot of people say hide the fact that they're you you said that they don't have to deal with a lot of drama right right. So that's where we find ourselves as we start this chapter. That's perfect. Thank you for setting table. I think you know the thing I reminded myself self of when I started reading was you know and you mentioned the so. The Jews have been dunked on by Babylon right and dunked on in like a like a nasty way they the the Babylon is don't like Jews And then the Persians. Come along and dunk on the Babylonians so I I. It's Kinda like this relationship relationship where they're here with the Jews. They're just like a piece of the whole big Pie together But they've kind of inherited these people so I think it's An interesting dynamic that we'll see this season of them of the Persians dealing with the subjugated community people But also being the Persians being zirk sees being a world power a world world conqueror so It's not necessarily. They have beef with the Jews sharp. But it's like you gotta come correct with the Persians because they're the Persian they're Persians and and they have all the powers ars these like all right. So what are we into the text of the story This is esther won. The tiling is the kings banquets now. In the days of ORCS Zirk sees who reigned from India Ethiopia Abia over one hundred twenty seven provinces in those days when kings sees as threes irks. He's in at like six words. We're talking to be. We need to know sat. On the row thrown in Susa Susa the citadel in the third year of his reign he gave a feast for all his officials and servants so this is due kings. Do Getting that feast on. What when you read this this like? Do you have a sense of why you'd be facing super digitally like this. Feels like if because if you've just if you're going to war or you come home from war it's it's like why you guys you did a great job more of your about to get murdered. Yeah let's have a nice piece glass. Let's do that. Game of thrones worked. Remember they had that great great feasts before that night war. Chill things always happen. Rattus fees are going on right. I like to think of it as Anytime you have a class project and like you bring cupcakes still straight the plants in the solar system or whatever. Everyone likes you better when you bring food. No shirt services like this is like tests stuff you guys want to eat. Let's eat. We'll have a good time. I'm you'll feel respected as local officials and servants So the army of Persia and media and the Nobles and Governors of the provinces were before him verse four while he showed the riches of his role glory and splendor grandpop of his greatness for many days. Before I got to the next thing I was like many days. It's like I felt ten a long week. No is a hundred and eighty days okay. That's an EPA party. What do you think you're doing for a hundred and eighty days? I don't know I would have feast for as long as that. Your nightmare to be invited party. That's going to last one hundred because you don't really like to me invited to parties period only parties at all but like a HBO. Here's the thing that gets me back as the food but you're a feast is The food is the priority party. The social interactions of priority so if kings saying we got a feast. I'm like food first Interaction next okay. But I I just think bodily you can't feast for six months and not have trained for that and not like they're not come into like is it like going to the Disneyworld the the fees were like. You'RE GONNA stay here come to town come to the capital Santa capital. You're going to have like a hotel room but then you're gonNA wander into you know here's a waffle shaped shake Texas like you're going to have that I think it's like Texas Barbecue tables. There's just like a like a like a bench seat it's a mile long and there's was just food everywhere and like a roll of paper towels and a loaf of bread and there's meet everywhere and at six months and it just feels exhausting. Everybody pay him he. I don't know that's the problem problem. Check that for us. I WANNA know scholar. I WanNa Know How the Poo and pee sausage made like. How where does everybody go? Mail that Aaron write that down. That's so oh great so I five and when these days were completed this six month bananas feast the King Gave All the people present and Susa the citadel grain small another piece lasting seven days in the court of the garden. So let's explain some people that was important people the dudes landowners officials all that stuff. These are for for. Just the whatever's for six. They're white cotton curtains verses a wild up passage. I will just tell you. There are white cotton curtains and hangings fasten records towards the fine linen and purple the silver rods moral pillars and also catches a golden silver on a mosaic pavement of poor furry sure marble mother pearl and precious stones. Drinks were served and golden vessels vessels vessels have different kinds and the row wine was lavish. According to the bounty of the king someone got that degree in interior decorating. This like Evince Takhar whoever whoever wrote that it was not Mordechai I will confirm it was not. Here's my problem again. Why are there some of the Bible that are like and then eighty years passed and then Moses saw God eight decades later wider? I don't like what's been happening. But this may talk about. Mother of Pearl Likes Wedding. What the the rods look like? And how the there's a mosaic pavement. A poor free marble another story I'm going to I'm going to Google. I'M GONNA ask like some and local poor free. You keep go after you..

Persia Jerusalem Ruth India Babylon Susa Susa Susa Texas Esther Jamie Pearl Likes Wedding Daniel All Judah Moses Google Ecclesiastes Nazer Mordechai
"esther" Discussed on The Bible Binge

The Bible Binge

14:07 min | 1 year ago

"esther" Discussed on The Bible Binge

"We urge you to love others as you love yourself and share the Bible Binge on social media and if you WANNA fall along as we go the main biblical scripture. This article covers esther one in lieu of esther to our Jamie new season New Year new frontier because above inch. We're dedicating entire season two female character in the Bible Reggae Horn. Listen it is pretty impressive. There are only two books in the Bible named after a woman. That's right and we've already done the other one and so now we're done. We will have covered them all so watches ended now with women in the Bible. That's right and it's kind of fun because because this is a crossover that's right. This is a crossover season with the podcast. As we recap the bachelor every single week on Patriot. That's right so okay so the bachelor. What Bola for people who are appears driven snow and just like our Bible scholars themselves and don't know what we're talking about the podcastone with the bachelor is why is a good cross of revenge for the Bachelor? Well one. The Bachelor of course is just brilliant. Cinematic TV leaving obviously is doing their best work really especially because grey's anatomy as nineteen thousand years old so they're doing their best work We already know The Bachelor is Peter. Peter Pilot He has many women vying for his affections. That's right and here's the thing this book. In the Bible Esther actually tells a similar tale in the life of Esther Ester the king he searching for affection mostly because he banished his first affection and needs a new infection classical bibles also. That happens on the bachelor guys. That's all bachelor in paradise. Art Imitates Life Imitates. The Bible is what we're saying and so. This is a perfect crossover. If you're interested sit in like maybe you're not interested in the Bible and you're like but this seems like an interesting story. Yeah or maybe you're like I would never watch the bachelor. Well there are some spiritual the elements there you guys always so we will tease out some of those bachelor JAS elements in this season of Esther. you know and I think I ah so I like there. Were talking about esther because that is a character I was never traditionally taught With heavy emphasis I didn't really get like the heavy esther education nation because it was over. I don't really know I mean because it's fascinating now you know like having known a little bit more as an adult in like now really diving into as we prepare the season I think I mean I think it's because it concerns probably The F. Word you know. Data's feminism right. Which I gotTa talk about because I think there is the Hesitancy to do the seas for people to Expose themselves to the season and these characters because there are Doses of feminism within an and. I think it's important for us. Maybe individually events show to define feminism as I think we don't all interpret that or defined that Similarly I think we all depending on our experiences inches maybe have gradually different experiences with that word before us for me. I won't see for me Comfortable perspective feminism is about equal rights for women. That's what that is and I think there are characters in that who will show that and I think you know our show the prison through which will we'll talk about this is through that idea of equality. I think that gets twisted and the idea that women want to subjugate men that comes into it. But that's not what we're talking about. Do you WanNa do that. Jamie wants to do that but I don't think the heart of feminism is about that I think it's about quality so I I think when we speak about characters in the season as influences on feminism or DIFFERENT ICONS FEMINISM. We're doing that in service to the larger idea of historical biblical women who who are placed in a position of power who are trying to not even get power but just like react to power in a positive way and not be and not be murdered executed property property have a name things guys opportunities. That's what we're looking for. Well obviously I had a different where I felt like there were just tons of women Sunday school teachers who were teaching the girl Sunday school class. Because you couldn't have mixed company under like your age six and they were always like you know what we're GonNa talk about again this this month esther while we're GonNa talk about all the time so I love Esther I have read Esther I mean I feel like more than any other book in the Bible. Yeah it's for sure Esther Esther I love it because it literally has. Everything is the Stefan. Bon iver the Bible. This book has it has everything it has murdered has lies Intrigue Romance a Beauty Pageant Right has villains and heroes and underdogs and it has freaking wreaking revenge. It is like delicious so it's a story. That's interesting interestingly enough it does not have God in it. Yeah like and yeah. I know a lot of people would argue that. Like oh no gods everywhere actually Jamie. We're not saying that but like the name of God is not mentioned. There's no spiritual practices other than like. There's there's a mention of a fast. There's just not a lot of godly things happening in this book. And I I love that not because I'm targeting my God but I love love that because God still there. It's just he's he's Background did not four grounded. God like the influence of God which I think we will talk about. The season is clearly felt and seen in this story. But not in a god-like. Hey Esther how's it going like. What are you dealing with right now? You know so. I liked that. We'll be able to talk about that a little bit. Okay why don't we so. This is unique because this the first episode spooked by Esther. We're not gonna get to Astra yet. We gotta set the table for. That's Haber y'all yeah so we have three primary players in this episode of the first is going to be an. He'll be with us a long time. And that is king if you're reading an Ester often see him referenced at by his Persian name which is has you eras. Ah We decided as a company right that we were GONNA go by his Greek name which is irks about that life. I'm not gonNA say as a hi guys. We cannot spend this entire season but during this time. It's for you guys. You don't WanNa hear me. It'd be like Hauser so the meaning of his name. Even his Greek name means prints head ed or chief right And there are three guys who go by the same actually in the Old Testament there is three kings one is mentioned in Daniel There is a king mentioned Ezra and then we have this this one this one he reigned for twenty one years. He invaded Greece. With an army of two million soldiers. Others came back with five. Thousand Dot feels not great And then my favorite under this this is the guy who famously fought Leonidas with his famous three hundred hundreds of the guy I was like Gerard Butler. That's right. Oh my gosh. This is Mary Gerard. Broiler really took it to you man so he took a big L. on. I don't think he's taken that L. yet. But he's about take that out. Yeah because it'll be in the middle of this right. It was after he returned from that that he chose. That's right esther so I'm he's known for having great palaces is very lavish parties having quite a temper and he's also I refer to as a week. Baby Panda Okay. There's a lot of weakness in the sky that will see not only early in this episode today but we'll see throughout the season. I think that's a really great way to describe it A week baby panda. I love all that graphic of that. But it's still like this is i. I like the he is I like contacts. That we know he is ruling alongside Leonardus longside. Maybe a few generations before Alexander the Great Eighteen yes the Hellenization of the world. So there's a lot happening here and I think even more to supplement that idea of a week trash panda baby thing He is the third can descendant after Cyrus the great who is one of the great figures and Conquers all time specifically in the Persian Empire Cyrus pass on his team's Darius who was also a great breaking. So you've got the I don't know what they'll adages like. The first generation makes the money the next generation loses the money. Okay and you. This is the third generation. Burke sees you start to see a little bit of that slippage right and we get that a little bit in this story so in casting this character I want someone who looks like royalty you know they gotta play that part yes of of course but also want them to look dopey easily manipulated. I want and so like I was going for an actor who has gravitas and presence. But like there's a there's a sneaky subconscious feeling like. Are they good. I don't know that they are so for those reasons. Jamie I have cast Jonathan Hamm as S. kings or exceed. How do you feel about that? That feels like the best choice. You could have made Jon. Hamm is 'cause listen. Do I picture Jon. Hamm him being a guy just laying out somewhere drunk on rum yes specifically Jon Hamm from bridesmaids. I think that's probably kings. Ah Don't don't go. Don Draper honest guys. And maybe he's going to have some don draper moment in the season but for the for the most part we're dealing with also so Jon Hamm from the show thirty rock right where he played the doctor who ended up with a Hook for a hand complicated he's a surgeon it's complicated Extra Biblical sources confirms Outta Hooking in. So this is. That's an excellent casting okay. Our next player is going to be Queen. Varsity Mashi Has a long history of being like this fair and controversial character and we'll see today kind of why but there is no controversy when we realize. This person is beloved by Aaron. The edge apple scholar. This is her favorite right. This was your favorite yes. This is her favorite character so the meaning of the name. Vostok is actually uncertain because I a modern Persian name it would mean goodness but the Hebrew interpretation is that means that drinks or thread They are not great. So we're going to go with the sexier Persian This is somebody who is freaking gorgeous. Jest hot from top to bottom okay and then but also strong willed. It's interesting that almost all mid rash depictions of Vashi has her as a descendant from King. Nebuchadnezzar can answer. It's right to exiled the jeans and five eighty six however It also says that her father is King Belshazzar. That's right but what unfortunately at King Bell's not to send it nor was he ever King of Babylon Right. So that's probably not accurate. Probably not but you know the story okay. So whatever just the idea that like you've got this union with And varsity which is a name that for my most. Most of my life I thought was a vast high so please thank you for your prayers. Actually thought it added. No you were hearing it vast high I was hearing. I knew a girl who said Vashinsky because I'm southern. Hi there and we always make them as like I got every syllable incorrect. Okay have a new girl. Vashem's tied Dotson and I was like that's her name tie never met her like. I never talked to her about so. I'm trying really hard so please give your sympathies. As I try to think for pivoting like Varsity and Zorzi's that's not royalty right there you got an yeah you got a great big. Yeah I think very big because interestingly enough like it the the the story is that she was kidnapped by King Darius mentioned mentioned and he took pity on her and then gave her do his sons Ercsi. Now you say story we don't actually have any extra biblical sources confirming this. We don't know we don't know well. We don't have any instable sources to confirm that was also true Jay. We don't have any extra again as always as rebels. Caller is always conto reminded breath. People are interpreting this from their own perspective. Yes you don't actually have any historical documents to support that. That's right. I actually. I'm going to. I'm going to give this to Christianity is so she can ah inserted or I'll give it to Aaron to answer in the deep dive for this episode but I read A paper from Robert Jay Littman that talks about zirk season has his religious policy because the Persians were famous for being very tolerant religiously zirk sees was not but it really talks about how to reconcile biblical accounts of the story with historical historical accounts from herodotus helpful so Varsity varsity coming. So thank you Jamie. Thank you for that compliment. So I'm not casting her because I came here saying her name right so we gave the honor because it is one of Aaron's fear here's gave that to Aaron. Aaron has cast her as has deny Guerrero I was about. Oh my gosh. That is so gay. 'cause if you're thinking about somebody who is a gorgeous right She's frigging gorgeous and for those who know her two straight off of her really easy to pronounce name she plays Miss Shannon the walking dead. She's a que-. I hope that's correct. I I don't know but it's her. She's like In by panther she's one of Black Panthers like Kings Guard and she is. I either married to or in a relationship with Daniel. Colusa the guy who heard the rhinos by panther right. If you need see that I know you're like what are you talking about..

Esther Esther Bible Jamie I Jon Hamm Esther Ester Aaron King Darius Jonathan Hamm Peter Pilot grey Greece Vashi Robert Jay Littman Don Draper Leonidas King Bell Gerard Butler Esther.
"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

01:51 min | 1 year ago

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

"Work. <Music> The <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> <Music> ESTA PARRAL IS <Speech_Music_Male> A bestselling author <Speech_Music_Male> speaker <Advertisement> <Speech_Music_Male> and host of the PODCAST. <Speech_Music_Male> Where where <Advertisement> should we begin <Speech_Music_Male> <Speech_Music_Male> to learn more <Advertisement> about estee <Speech_Music_Male> paroles world <Speech_Music_Male> to sign <Advertisement> up for a newsletter <Speech_Music_Male> or to <Speech_Music_Male> apply to <Advertisement> be on the PODCAST? <Speech_Music_Male> Go to <Speech_Music_Male> ESTA PAROLE DOT COM <Speech_Music_Male> slash <Speech_Music_Male> house. This work <Speech_Music_Male> is <Speech_Music_Male> work <Advertisement> produced <Speech_Music_Male> by magnificent noise <Speech_Music_Male> for Gimblett <Advertisement> and <Speech_Music_Male> Este Para productions <Speech_Music_Male> <Advertisement> <Speech_Music_Male> our production staff <Speech_Music_Male> includes <Advertisement> Eric <Speech_Music_Male> Newsham <Speech_Music_Male> Eva Waltraud <Advertisement> ver- <Speech_Music_Male> district <Speech_Music_Male> Sibley <Advertisement> <Speech_Music_Male> Alex Lewis <Speech_Music_Male> Kristen <Advertisement> Muller <Speech_Music_Male> and are <Speech_Music_Male> coordinating <Advertisement> producer <Speech_Music_Male> is Lindsay tasking. <Speech_Music_Male> <Advertisement> <Speech_Music_Male> A recording <Speech_Music_Male> engineer is Noriko. <Speech_Music_Male> Okubo <Speech_Music_Male> and David <Speech_Music_Male> Whitmore is our mix <Speech_Music_Male> engineer. <Speech_Music_Male> The theme song <Speech_Music_Male> was written by <Speech_Music_Male> Doug Slade <Speech_Music_Male> and the executive <Speech_Music_Male> producers of <Speech_Music_Male> House work. Doc <Advertisement> <Speech_Music_Male> Are Esther Parral <Speech_Music_Male> and Jesse <Advertisement> Baker <Speech_Music_Male> we would also <Speech_Music_Male> like to thank <Speech_Music_Male> Naza Rafsanjani. <Speech_Music_Male> Matt <Speech_Music_Male> Lieber <Speech_Music_Male> Darrien Beach <Speech_Music_Male> Courtney <Speech_Music_Male> Hamilton. And <Speech_Music_Male> Kelly Rose <Speech_Music_Male> <Advertisement> Nick Oxen <Speech_Music_Male> Horn <Speech_Music_Male> doctor <Advertisement> Guy Wench <Speech_Music_Male> Catherine <Speech_Music_Male> Menchu <Advertisement> <Speech_Music_Male> and her team use <Speech_Music_Male> Paul <Speech_Music_Male> Schneider <Speech_Music_Male> Thomas Curry <Advertisement> <Speech_Music_Male> Johnny <Speech_Music_Male> <Advertisement> <Speech_Music_Male> Jackson

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

10:15 min | 1 year ago

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

"So maybe this is me being you better. My Mom said I love everything about your father and I see so much of him in you. The one thing I would love is if you're not terrible with money indoor at business like your dad was so I considered a failure failure and what. I'm not exactly sure but it's a failure. I should have made the right decisions. I should have planned ahead. Shit church appropriate ways you began by saying we have different attitudes to money Johnnie and to risk taking but now I got curious. How would you describe your relationship to a- amazing word that we could spend three hours? Just talk about yeah. I put the most pressure on myself and I think a lot of that comes from this whole success or failure thing because I historically do very well what I choose to do and I believe that I am incredibly credibly high achiever and I am capable of anything that I choose to go do But I picked those things specifically because I don't WanNa do anything that I don't win at some terrified of failing and it and it plays into business and Personal Samar. I howl these challenges growing up in in trying to achieve this dream of being yeah fighter pilot And so he just as I was growing up well I grew up at a dad So challenge born maybe In High School I got I had a bad accident between junior and senior year. I got shot in the face at a party party with a real big gun. It was a real formative thing in my life. Many say I should should have died very lucky that I did not. I am very fortunate the way I recovered. I think a lot of it was attitude driven. I I believed that I was going to recover. Cover one hundred percent still go to the Naval Academy still fighters and I did and I succeeded in that lifelong dream of being a fighter pilot in the navy. Maybe I wanted to be the best fighter. Pilot I wanted to be the best squadron mate to all my buddies like that's what I was so anyway we this whole this. The whole story came up from this relationship question. I'd never had time nor parody in my life even though I wanted it he'd never made any space for And then I got out of the navy. I immediately moved to Midland Texas to the oil business because now he succeeded. Something else. I I never had a year long relationship woman in one now and it's a huge huge deal but I think generally we've talked about is my fear of commitment and I don't know if we've talked about like why fear that come. I mean I don't even know one hundred percent if I know I do. I think probably a lot of it has to do with loss. You Know My dad from a young age I think also a lot of it has to do with like. Am I going to be good. I am I going to succeed at this. So that's that's why I say that this this concept of success and failure has also driven personal life and to me the ability to not personalise and not to think of it as success and failure in the extreme ways that you do you is what allows people to be serial entrepreneurs in the more and a better way than others. See that what makes the difference is is the ability to let go. Because if all you think is I'm a failure you can't think about the the next idea. Yes hijacked into your thoughts about yourself which is what kept kept you stuck for two years to and you don't even know how extreme this is for him he's he's he won the world championships in erasing. He's the guy that came a fighter pilot after getting shot in the face. That doesn't happen. So so he's he's he's achieved. These incredible things so now he's the guy that can't fail. I feel it when he talks on. Worry Yeah I get it and the higher you go in the in the higher you can fall the lure you can four and a bard heard of you closeness to this guy is because you sit in the cockpit where you are literally on perched on the edge between life and death and when when you come out of their life you have conquered. You've you've lost with him. Wow he said before before we walked in here that I'm the only person he's ever committed to so no wonder it was terrifying for me to do my own thing and not have him be a part of it. I mean it feels like a break up. It doesn't feel yeah it is. It is a separation now the break but it is a separation in the one person that he's trusted. Do you have a sense. that you understand the RESP- the that his responsibility doesn't just come from nowhere. She knows what it means for for you to have trusted him in this way as you said earlier you don't have to tell him right aide Souza's out and he he viscerally feels it. It's not just a feeling it's an embodied experience laid on him for a minute. Uh I mean that was probably the hardest part about about moving forward with this. This new idea it was. What if there's not a spot for you there because you've given me the one thing that you've not given anybody else else giving me the trust to do life together and What an awful thing to reject that? Yeah well I hadn't really considered it at that At that level. Yeah Yeah me neither but it makes sense I I mean I feel better. It's okay absolve your responsibility because you see stuck to me is like a system of routes underground you get to see surface of the stuck but when something is stuck is because something is pulling at it that you can't always immediate. DC The the the roots underneath a tree. You don't know what they connect to adapt. It's that sleuths work that when you actually identified you do feel it because it literally opens up obstructions and then whatever air ideas love can come true you you know because what happens is that in the end. You don't recognize neither person. He recognized themselves. Where's my confidence? That's you know. That's the piece that boots navel-gazing whereas my confidence whereas the Guy I know my guess is you're going to maybe maybe not have anything to do with. What is this venture? You may meet up another venture this may be a period where you do separate ventures you'll be ventures probably going to be that you're going to become a father and that will change the entire way you do business when you will have that you will. I also think differently about how he thinks. 'cause he in a way has had to focused on the presence of people in his life and what he does about that and you have had to deal on the absence of people in your life and what you do about that. He's always come with a multi perspective. You've always come with a singular perspective aspect and the only multiple you got is when he shuts a reflection on you crew. Now you have somebody else's head dude. That doesn't sound very fair. You know until you come into the conversation with him very differently and it's going to just solidified like that because she's going to see you come home in the evening it's awesome. I think it's life changing.

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

11:35 min | 1 year ago

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

"We're going to do that because you don't want to disappoint and no yes. Sure that is certainly part of that. Which I actually don't think is that people? This is not about good bad. Good bad this is about also understanding. What are the motivations? What drives you? Of course you see. I was convinced but underneath you say I was convinced ends. I have to admit that the presence of his brothers filling the gap you know. Yes he did agree with me Eh. But when push comes to shove I do feel like I did convince him so the burden is on me de obvious is what you agreed on in what you did did Nice Super Nice but then there is the little extra. And it's those pieces does extras that. We actually don't talk about which leads me to ask you. You talk about a lot of things. What are some of the things that you don't talk about but it's funny so when you were saying about these little pieces that we don't talk about I was trying to think and decide aside why we don't talk about it I feel like potentially we don't because it's understood i? I know that Mike feels the overall responsibility. Tell me that for me to know it and I know that he knows that I feel oh a bit of a burden to talk about it because he knows right and just I do wonder if it would have been more beneficial to check in every once in a while with it. We both assumed that the other one new and and and and that led to some of the isolation. I mean. At least you know we. We always depended on each other. I mean literally you know lives depended on with my life and and yet during this period when I had this crushing anxiety with my best friend business partner sitting right next to me I I still felt alone during that time and I and I did. I did to my stuff if we spent four hours in a day talking about what these new ideas we're going to be and then Mike had to go home to his kids. I had actually then start doing my my job because what we were doing in my mind his job for the past four hours now I actually have to do everything keeps the bills paid and actually gets. It's a keeps the company going which was super frustration that they didn't ever really like share often. Maybe maybe not ever really the man man that I feel it still do and I would. I would offer to help. But he wouldn't let me because organization is not my thing to me. The ideas don't come when there is obstruction and the obstruction. You just described. It's one thing for you to know that a stressed arrest because he feels the burden of responsibility on everybody and it's wanting for you to know that he stressed because he needs to make sure that he can do the payroll and it's too but the fact that you know it doesn't do much for the other person if you don't say it. It's like buying a gift that you don't offer so what you went out and you bought a gift but you never gave it the place where you are awakening Cologne at night. Each of you fretting about your own thing that extra space. What really makes the difference? This is the other one witnesses it and says I see you in your predicament. That I see you. Who is what ultimately makes you feel less alone and when you feel us alone you don't have to put all your psychic energy into self protection and into the burden of responsibility that's around you saw? The envelope can open up. It can widen the space is created and the ideas can start to come in one of the most imprinting relationship with him is that he's your brother of choice. But he's the one with whom you're not having to be the oldest because only rather brother you feel responsible for this one was the equal one. Do you feel responsible for me yes. That's the question that needed to be asked. Yeah that's a beginning one. Yeah and and I know it's not fair and I and I know that you don't need to be responsible for you but the whole time this whole thing was percolating in my head. A huge piece of it was. Where's the place for J.? Because I feel like if I found something you didn't. What does that mean for us? I appreciate that thank you. I don't I don't want to feel left behind if this thing takes off and it's wildly successful and you're still looking for your next thing three years. Yeah I'm trying to shield you from pain doesn't exist yet but but but that's activity. It's extremely caring. Mind you you know if I do. Well I want to part of it and if you don't do at want to know that I didn't let you go into the drain by yourself. Yeah but did you know the thing. He would feel really bad if she went on. It became successful anyway And I think coming to terms with the fact that I'm okay with that if I'm not as stoked on it as he is and I don't need to be a party tha that in the same level and also I need aviation back in my life like. I don't have aviation my life nearly as much as I want to. I feel like it's a whole and And so I feel like that is a part of my life that I am not fulfilling right now and I wonder if Avila so I want to do business and want to be in charge of my own business company I just wanted to be with aviation no what I'm hearing. It's hearing a story in in many directions right but piece of the story talks about the complimentarity and about how much each of you has added to the other and a piece of the story talks about how the loyalty you have for each other at. Some point began to compromise yourself. It's like how do I hold onto myself while I'm with you and how much much of music I have to give up in order for the US not to dissolve so you stop thinking about evaluation used to thinking about about anything for for that matter having no thoughts at all anymore just things. The power of the relationship was so strong that it was more important than individuals and for a while. That's actually quite amazing. They don't see it immediately. The moment at which begin to feel that the price of the cells that has been given up has become too big. What does it mean to big? Is that it no longer serving the US gender understand what I'm describing. That's incredibly accurate. Do you need another partner to work in partnership you've lived in partnership Russian. Yeah I don't think that I do in because is i. Do I feel like I value the opinions of others and so that I like to think that I would stop and listen and be very mindful and and give that it's full credit. Why don't think I need a fifty fifty partner always being there to say it? I don't I think you need a partner either. What I fear for? You is your ability to manage the whole the big picture uh-huh and not just focus on what you want to focus on him. Blow off what you don't like right because historically might does not do what he doesn't want to do my biggest fear for you going forward in something where I'm not holding your hand for lack of a better term it is. I don't know how you can execute all these meetings all these people all these relationships without somebody helping you manage with that managing you. Yes absolutely and if that's the world's most incredible executive assistant maybe I mean maybe that's what I've end fuck. I don't know man. Maybe maybe it's just that I want to relieve you of that responsibility. I want you to be the world's best executive assistant it's not. You don't WanNa manage the Shit I don't want to do anymore. And it's not fair to ask you that. Yes but is also another dynamic because because he does it so well you do it less and less and because you do it less and less he does it more and more and because he does it more. We're in more. You become even more person who doesn't have to think about that which you don't like and because you don't have to do that which you don't like he becomes the person person who doesn't like what that which you don't want to do. Wow that really gains a little momentum that way you lost to your practical skills and new lost your vision yes Jackson. You may say he's the idea and he's the ups but the idea has some ups and ups has some ideas but when it becomes too uneven and each one literally firms out to the other that which they don't feel so confident about we right back where we started then slowly you lose even the piece of you that has this yes is that new would just sit now yeah. We haven't gone that far..

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

05:59 min | 1 year ago

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

"Lot of the things that I do because my dad wasn't there and I just want him to be proud and do you know that he is. I believe that is but you know without any sort of confirmation. All I can do is just keep trying but in your mind you've done right by him. Holler percent we clear on. That always still are trying to prove it. No hundred percent is that it's just you know if there's more to be done there's more to be done tell you there's one more thing that can be done but it has nothing to do with business. One portfolio father. Yes that's scary. But that's the one true direct mom would love it so would he. Yeah I think I think once the once. The switch was flipped that would be everybody. Get at that. He'd be amazing. Even afraid that you would go too soon and it leaves little kids in your situation situation. There's probably a lot of things I'm afraid of but yeah I mean sure. That's absolutely one of them. I mean I think I think a lot of the things I do are could potentially be impacted by fear of loss or a lot of things I don't do. I love that somebody who says that and then becomes a fighter. Jet Finance Finance counter. PHOBIC can one be your that. Connor phobic is the person who jumps cliffs lifts when they're afraid of heights. I was just having this discussion my girlfriend this weekend about forget exactly what it was but I said I'm scared of that. And she was like you're scared of that. What do you mean and I said? Yeah I'm I'm terrified of it. Which is why tried to do it as much as I can? Because then I can take control of that fear and say no. This is illogical. I don't need to this. It's called counter phobic. Things word for everything to what you said you were very very stuck. What unstuck you is the fact that you have a new idea or it's the fact that you've realized that you could stay close even if you didn't do everything together and it's not either or so will I woke up one morning and said I I've I've I've achieved all my dreams? I went and flew jets in the navy and in and found the ultimate test in combat and I started a successful company and and had a beautiful family and I was. I was a great dad. It had all the things that I thought I wanted and it wasn't enough and it was still looking for something. So what am I going to do. What's what's important to me gene? But you're stuck in. This was not because of the what's happening in the business you stuck in this was more exemption and it was more yours or it was both of you. I think I think I've got it own it more. I think it was more on me because because I was the idea guy around of ideas ideas. I've done the thing that you're supposed to do is an entrepreneur. I created something out of thin air and it was wildly successful beyond even my own dreams and And then it dried up and I really had to grieve the loss and to borrow Jaakko term extreme ownership. I mean that's I can look in the mirror and say all the successes are because of me and all of the failures are because of me and I really had to get right with the the idea that maybe the failure wasn't because of me. The market changed but there is also the beginning. Thinks worked extremely well. Not just because of you off your extreme dream. Ownership is also hyper individualistic view. It's all about you the good and the bad. No neither is the bad but neither result a good. It was him. There was the market. There was A. It's a combination of everything that allowed you to flourish the way you did. There is no longer genius. I'm sorry or a lone genius. That's that's the probably the product were the lone genius. Here's the lone genius is often lonely. It's always an interaction of multiple multiple facets to Tim if I hear you I got stuck for two years in a whole whole crisis because in some way my premise was wrong and the premise was I have done all of this by myself. Live and therefore I'm responsible for the whole failure by myself and since I couldn't accept that I had done it all by myself. I didn't know how how to let go of the other side because once I accept that I'm not source of all failure than I have to accept that I'm not the source of our success and meanwhile I'm sitting there on my ass constantly trying to squeeze creativity out of me while I'm completely constipated I'm saying where's the next idea whereas the next idea to stuck nece she alludes to wasn't isn't just a matter of fact short -ness of ideas we're talking about someone who became crushed by the burden of responsibility because he needed to come up with a new idea that would be able to feed all the people that he brought into this business including including two of his brothers.

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

11:50 min | 1 year ago

"esther" Discussed on Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

"Went to work with them. The next day got a job. The next day bought a house next moved to middle. This is an amazing thing happening. While you're talking she's literally lip synching with you. What you're saying that it happens a lot from the early days in the cockpit? Both make an g have been inseparable. They build an oil company together. Afterwards and their strength their boldness their ability to assess and to take risks has always been predicated on the fact that they were together on kind of the visionary creative Guy Jay's one that actually makes things happen can't quick secure if you want your names in there then you may want to know as much that I care about my. Yeah Oh yeah we'll just fine. I'm fine with with I. I mean I don't I don't think it's that big a deal. Yeah that business was very successful but the opportunity kind of faded in. So we've been kind of figuring out what it is we want to do next. We were feeling very stuck. And and had been that way for probably two years now I had a new idea. It's just coming to life. I'm really excited about it. But Jay is not as excited about got it and we've kind of come to a place where we think that we can do different things and we're starting to figure out what that looks like for us because we've been together as this kind of life partners for for ten years. We've beat this drum. That like this team is the reason for all of the success so then the other side of that equation means that. There's no team there's no success and this is the first time the question is asked. Is it did that. They succeeded because they had such a good idea. Or is it also that succeeded. Because the strength of the US was the overriding factor and ensue. Now that they are considering their first ever separation. The fear is that the best idea may not succeed if the US is. He's no more of what you said you would keep this business but you would continue something else separately and you could do awesome together in some not. Yes or does he feel like this is our first separation would does that for sure. Yeah but yeah. This is the first time we've ever actually acknowledged out loud like we don't have to be fifty fifty partners in everything going forward I would say for both of us. That's probably a a little both scary and I duNno freeing. That's the word I had. Yeah explain each well. The scary part is that it's just it's a security blanket together I would say that I am as worried about not having his ideas and vision and excitement as I'm assuming as he might be worried about not having me to keep them a little bit in check and provide a little bit of administrative abilities for his sometimes quite Disorganized during the romantic date. So that's scary for the same exact reasons. It's kind of free. What's like for you due to say I'm GonNa do this on my own or maybe even with somebody is it's terrifying Lang and really empowering if feels like a new test to be kind of the benevolent dictator and not always have to balance something off with fifty partner? I'm solely responsible and I'm in charge now. I have to be more of a grown up and I don't I don't always have my conscience there to to rein me in like I'm GonNa have to do that myself. In a way you have perfect complementarity right yes in which one person can have division deal. The person thinks implementation and you like to ski. You know you rely on it and when you rely on it you don't have to think about it so much because you know the other one will think about the thing that you are not so so good at yes you nailed it. Death is a priceless complementarity. Yes because the offer reverse is one person criticizes the other for the very thing that they actually need. In your case you praise each other for the very thing. Each one enact the part that the other person isn't as confident about. Yes yes. It's a beautiful thing now. Oh Cherry blossoms that who lives there such an either. I've having made it so that means that that you can have Mejia's sparring. I suppose but when you tell me why am I telling you well. I mean you start with the environment where we grew up in the red room of fighter squadron. It's an environment where we're a passive aggressive is not acceptable. explained it when there's an issue. It's it's discussed openly without fear of of hurt feelings in grudge holdings but like. Hey there's an issue here we need to address it because there's too much going on. There's too much at stake if we don't die if people die right we're flying fighters off of aircraft carriers that are loaded with bombs and guns. I mean there's a lot of very critical scenarios every day every flight so we have we've brought that mindset forward to our our business and more specifically our partnership when we have issues we'll sit down and if it's big enough poor suburban and or whiskey and deal with it often in the workplace you you have one person who likes to direct and the other person who may be much more indirect or maybe sometimes what they call passive aggressive or even totally avoidance avoid so in their case coming initially stating that their approach to managing conflict similar because they were raised in the same military culture. Of course one question I have is is this similarity truly part of their personalities. Apart a part of their shared military culture. And what's the complementarity of styles in the way that you discuss. It's hard topics. He helps opened my views up a little bit in terms of like emotion and or appreciation Gatien for the way that other people feel he helps me Kinda think about the fact that it's okay that other people might think about something emotionally different than I do. Or whatever and I generally more adept at that open and clear communication logical. Maybe you have five siblings right. Yes and you're the solo chat. Yes connection yeah sure it just popped up on me. You learned self things the known and you learn to think about how it affects others. That's why we're sitting in your office. I would have never thought of that. But that's that's true. If you are sort of China right and live with Solo parent or so leopards. It becomes sometimes more difficult to be able to have separate opinions. Yes that's accurate. I also think that an amateur how this plays with the whole being an only child. But I'm actually pretty easily convinced convinced when a logical argument is presented to me. And he's he's a salesman. He can sell his ideas and he knows how to sell them to me. That whole lot of trouble. Sure good at that. I don't know I wonder she grew up with my grandparents. My Dad died when I was two and a half. So it's just me and her and we lived. We moved in with my grandparents. Who are the best awesome? We in any money so she. She had a fend for for us both from from the start. I mean. She's just an incredible woman the things that she was able to do nothing you know. My Dad had a business. That was terrible is aviation business. He'd loved you had because he loved aviation up because he was good business. And you became a painting yes no now not surprisingly yeah But when he died she she was stuck with this business and trying to figure out what to do felt the responsibility to the to the business dream. Amen to the employees and she you know in a couple of years she got that business from the red into the black and and sold it. I look back and go wow. That's that's incredible so I don't think anybody was ever telling her what to do. I don't know the answer to that question. Because you're thinking of it as an issue of command and control. That's the way I think a lot of things right. I wasn't thinking about it from that side. I was thinking about it. As as if you give me a good argument I can be convinced because I think it's a sound argument and two because I tried on harmony. Yes I drive on harmony. We'd my grandparents. I travel in harmony with my mom and I travel in harmony with my business partner. I would say that of ten door closing sessions where whiskey is poured nine of initiated by Mike that that means what I avoid conflict boy conflict. I chose a nicer way of saying it. But that's what to me. The miniature told me I love and I admire my mother I love and I so deeply appreciate my grandparents and I was this only child and I know you are but not in in the sense I love you want to you. Want to have a nice relationship with people that you that you found that you love that you admire that respect so much as you respect her. It's that had. You don't WanNa disappoint them. It's absolutely not a negative trait at all but like every trade it takes place in a context. It's the context that determines if it's a useful one today or it's more detrimental to me today. Same with him. Why is he so good at convincing wincing because he's got four other brothers and they all have a big mouth and he has to get his his his point of view across he had a training ground? I'm from the one. It's the context of how you grew up. Exquisitely sharpened certain skills by necessity Jesse and of course come. Would you to work. Yeah I wonder how that plays out in even Like trying to please your dad. who wasn't there? Well yeah I mean that's A. I think that.

"esther" Discussed on National Prayer Chapel, Pilgrim's Progress

National Prayer Chapel, Pilgrim's Progress

02:05 min | 1 year ago

"esther" Discussed on National Prayer Chapel, Pilgrim's Progress

"Of this beautiful banquet. He calls for queen being bashed i to come. She is also throwing a party at the king's palace for all of the women he calls for queen bash tied to come now. There's disagreement on on what's happening here. Some commentators say that he demanded. She show up in the nude with just her crown on. I don't know whatever it is. Queen bash tie reviews to come. She did not want to be shown off in front of these drunk and men and and so she is a bit of a hero for the women's lib movement because she rejected her husband's command. angry about this his counselor say remove her as queen and install another woman and that's what happened. She was forbidden to ever come into his presence again if she did she would die and so now a search is made throughout the kingdom and the most beautiful women are chosen to be a part the king's harem now this is literally being imprisoned in the palace for the rest of their lives and they serve breath cleaning the palace doing whatever needs to be done in the harem is large now. Oh queen esther or esther as she's now called in the story is swept up edessa wizard hebrew name. She is swept up in this roundup of beautiful women. She was a very very beautiful maiden virgin and so she's taken to the king's palace and there she is to be given beauty treatments.

esther