18 Burst results for "Erinn"

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

01:55 min | 3 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"It creates something and then we did with jenga boats. Also you're just kind of recreating your four play. Which can kind of go to the wayside or get rushed sometimes but what this does is. It creates a cure. It's a mystery to have like what what's next. Meaning like the order is all over the place you could all of a sudden it could be something crazy that you start with on your back till like playing little dots and a little thing. Then you know yeah and it could be like three things in a row that you're doing to your partner right right and it's like goes back to view or you know it's just threw it plans it and you know i mean nothing jenga tuesday same ever we wrote on the blocks so when you pull out a block yep instead of You know you know you right on the sides and it's like whatever it is you wanna do have done boom. I think it's extremely important. Yeah going very important. Because otherwise i could you know if i had if if we didn't if you don't have a sexual relationship that might as well be raising kids with i'd best friend. Yeah which. I mean. You know nothing against that. I'm sure there's people that do that. But no i know for sure but i don't think there's people might be but not a lot of people whose radio raising a kid with her best friend weird. I know you're trying to be. Pc bad really think about it like become best friends or they've decided to stay like just on after the fact. Yeah hey do your best friend. You know john like hey. Let's raise this kid. No okay so you're meaning together. And that now. Their best friends okay. Okay no for sure. Not taking.

john
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

02:29 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"In standing your grandfather. And i you know my parents lines casket remember. I think we got a little off track anyways. Here's the thing. I what i'll say like with inlaws is at a certain point. Like you have to have a connection with your partner. That says hey. These are the things that we're going to have to deal with. These are the things that you know. Because you're making kind of your own new life. And i look at it now having kids and having like my older you know my son getting older and this and that and you think as the parent your kids are yours like you fuck created them. You made them you own them. They're yours and then you're letting them go into this whole new world of somebody else's family and traditions and you know so both grandparents moods yours now you have to share them. Wilder or any of our kimball wife or husband and they're they're like you know sorry dad lights neon you know whoever's christmas i be like fuck no you're not you're not you're not going i mean and then that's when i come in and say talk off calm you down and say you know what i'm saying and now there's so much more nowadays i feel like you know different blended and things and there's a little it's a little looser but back in the day i mean you know you're dealing with traditions and families and different backgrounds and coasts and places south. I mean so many factors. I'm sure keep north. I'm just saying like are you from the midwest or the south east coast west coast would say. What did i say south-north. I met like film the cell. But it's funny because usually people go north south. You went south south north. you do. yeah on me. Start south in the move north and then moved north. Yeah start at my move up. Yep we're getting off topic again. This is what happens anyways. I will say because you're speaking about sex.

kimball Wilder south east coast west coast midwest
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

02:49 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"Tweet. Me failed to get the congress is now fill the rosa again. The rose as refilled. And we're back erin. Bartlett oliver hudson back at it again. Brief intermission with a voicemail listener appreciation episode. And now we're back at it after two weeks after two weeks in we were at undisclosed location. Yeah in cape cod. Perfection was great such an amazing spa. And now we here an albuquerque new mexico. Because i'm doing a job just starting it and errands here for moral support because probably lose my mind. She wasn't we came out our first two shows. I guess it was pretty deep. Became out with a became hot. You know so it's like how do you follow that. But today we wanted to sort of talk about the in-law experience i was just in mass. I was just on the cape with her in laws brooks in an and of course you know the first time aaron for some you met i. You met my parents. Parents was before we were dating. Yeah right but then we were sort of hooking up and have a morning after lake should total walk. Shame where she was. Because i was living at home. Twenty four and still living at home. Twenty three twenty. You're twenty. yeah no. You're just turned twenty four. Yeah was that the night with robin. No it will john. Yeah i think it was an we had a crazy night. An iron gave it up. You know first time we hooked up bone right out the gate just trying to preface it within a and a half of friendship phone calls flirting now. Right out the gate. First time we finally first time it hooked up boom.

Bartlett oliver hudson erin cape cod albuquerque congress new mexico brooks aaron robin john
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

01:36 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"In the rarest okay. Good perfect ending to the podcast. Here comes little buddy. Bear bear bear buddies. the middle. I know we gotta do one on kids parenting for sure. There's a lot to talk about a ton to talk about. Oh thousand podcasts. I know i know you had wanted to do one with you. I hear you come up looking at. How do you hear you tubing. How deep the ocean if arianna trench gertie thousand feet. Yeah i know that's cool. I learned something new. it's the day was Or just finishing up this podcast. You have anything to say to the audience. Do you think that we're good parents. Various areas one and only one only voting boaty. He bear All right while we can put this to bed. But what's your favorite thing about me. Probably your selflessness. Thinks you care more for others than you do for yourself. I mean. I care lot for others but i do care for myself..

arianna trench gertie
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

01:33 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"Okay. Perfect ending joss here comes a little buddy. Bear bear buddies the middle. I know we gotta do one on kids parenting for sure. There's a lot to talk about time to talk about thousand podcasts. I know wanted to do with you. I hear you come. Hey what's up. John looking at how how the trench thirty five thousand feet. Yeah i know that's cool. I learned something new right. It's the day was awesome or just finishing up this podcast. You have anything to say to the audience. Do you think that we're good. Parents okay areas. I wanted only wanted only voting. Boaty bear All right while we can put this to bed. Do but what's your favorite thing about me. Probably or selflessness. Thank you care more for others than you do for yourself. I mean carola for others. But i do know i know but you.

joss John carola
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

06:15 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"Slash civil right. Now we're going through shit. Because i'm you know i've talked about it before with on this podcast and i think joe other podcast but you know i've been going through some crazy anxiety after coming off my stupid drugs and i'm just i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm back on the track back on track. I think you know what i mean. I got a new gig. I i'm doing a job doing a show in albuquerque. And you know. I'm i'm i'm actually becoming finally becoming kind of excited about it but i've been a fucking mess like a wreck. Just just just just crushed to dis- devastated. I mean it's been horrible anxiety for me. But aaron said to pick up the slack. 'cause i can't function the way that i normally do so not to get into all that but it's work you're always working you know you're always picking up slack. You're always sort of figuring out your team right kids you want to help. It's kind of back and forth most the time it's pretty equal but you know that's just the way it goes ebbs and flows another thing. I'll say back to kind of you know. Healing and moving forward is you can stay very stock and you can hold onto your anger and think that the other person deserves it and it is a way to kind of have your control back But it's just not a fun place to be. And i think you know this goes back to you. Know my parents and just life is short And you know at this time in our lives and at this point no matter who your partner is going to be. If i was to have left all of her it really would have been to punish him ultimately Maybe it would have been. Because i couldn't have gotten past it. Which a lot of people can't. I think i was lucky. I had the tools I'm extremely empathetic I really like to see the best in people and in a lot of situations. So i think i'm that i had that ability But the truth is i could have gone and started over with someone else. And they're going to have their own fucking suitcase full of shit that they're going to bring to the relationship You know we were not worn down. We were not dealing with this with children. You know so. I say like everybody's stories so we're just getting started so it was almost like all right like why not give it a shot and we got lucky we made it through and then we started having kids and three of them one of them. Who tonight is out at a bowling alley with a girl. He likes thirteen batch. Turn fourteen turn. Fourteen all new. You know. I drove him down there and i was having conversations with them like you know so you know this girl. I don't really like her. And you say. I mean yeah. It's impossible to get shit out of them so now we're entering the world. Teenagers right right right and then we got like three sixty. We do so so. That's an app where you can sort of. Gps your kids from their phone and twenty minutes. After i dropped him off at the bowling alley the fuckers like at wendy's you know like a mile away and then he's in some sort of a park like where's this kid going in and then he's at city market by buying candy. I didn't but we're in a small town. We're lucky independence and freedom but it's funny to track his ass. Watch him move around. And which by the way to is i mean. Is this a good thing or a bad thing. I mean i. I like having i think safety and i don't know i don't know but but here's another thing i'll say to like we just going back to like we also have our. Our youngest is now turning eight so we like made it through the thick of babies and toddlers and all of that insanity which really really contest and You know sleep deprivation. Who's doing this. Who's doing that like all that kind of shit is is pretty gnarly and now it was like the last two years with this like smooth sailing. Kind of beautiful little Age time before wilder was kind of a full teenager. Still wanted to be with us. Rio in our youngest was independent and now are just starting to enter the world of teenagers. Which so many of my friends are already had us. But it's Yeah but i think we do differently you know. I don't know as far as parenting goes it's purely instinctual. It's a much happier place to be. That's another thing. I was gonna say once they kind of let go and now it's like that happened and i. It's just you're happier. It's like life is short you know. And and letting anger pass through you or sadness past three feel it get it out. Whatever that is running working out writing crying screaming and let it pass and then get back into a place of happiness. I also did a lot of you. Know what am i grateful for. And what are the amazing things about you and you know that kind of stuff kept me super present sh foaming high bowed house. Nowhere in the rarest okay. Good perfect ending to the podcast. Here comes little buddy. Bear.

albuquerque bowling aaron joe wendy wilder sailing Rio
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

03:07 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"Out at a bowling alley with a girl. He likes thirteen to batch. Turn fourteen by the turn. Fourteen all new you know. I drove him down there and i was having conversations with them like you know so you know this girl. I don't really like her. You say he's it's impossible to get shit out of them now. We're entering the world. Teenagers right right right and then we got life three sixty. We do so so i can like. That's an app you can sort of. Gps your kids from their phone and twenty minutes. After i dropped him off at the bowling alley the fuckers like art at wendy's you know like a mile away and then he's in some sort of a park and like where's this kid going and and then he's at city market by buying candy. I but we're in a small town it we're lucky independence and freedom but it's funny to track his ass off. Jim move around and which by the way too is i mean. Is this a good thing or a bad thing. I mean i i like having. I think it's a safety. And i don't know i don't know but but here's another thing i'll say to like we just going back to it like we also have our. Our youngest is now turning eight so we like made it through the thick of babies and toddlers and all of that insanity which really really contestants You know sleep deprivation. And who's doing this. Who's doing that like all that kinda shit is pretty gnarly and now it was like the last two years with a smooth sailing. Kind of beautiful little time early before wilder was kind of a full teenager. Still wanted to be with us. Rio in our youngest was independent and now are just starting to enter the world of teenagers. Which so many of my friends are already ahead of us. But it's Yeah but i think we do differently. I don't know as far as parenting goes it's purely instinctual. It's a much happier place to be. That's another thing. I was gonna say once they kind of let go and now it's like that happened and i. It's just you're happier. It's life is short and leading like anger pass through you or sadness past three. Feel it get it out. Whatever that is running working out writing crying screaming and let it pass and then get back into place of happiness. I also did a lot of you. Know what am i grateful for. And what are the amazing things about you and you know that kind of stuff kept me super present. Your own rain high bowed. I guys at your house.

bowling wendy Jim wilder Rio
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

02:55 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"Com slash right. Now we're going through shit you know because i'm you know i've talked about before on this podcast and i think with joe on my other podcasts. I've been going through some crazy anxiety after coming off of my stupid drugs. I'm just. I'm i'm i'm i'm back on track back on track. I think you know what i mean. I got a new gig. I'm doing a job. i'm doing a show albuquerque. And you know. I'm i'm actually becoming finally becoming kind of excited about it but i've been fucking myth like a wreck just a just just just crushed devastated. I mean it's been horrible anxiety for me. You know but aaron said to pick up the slack. I can't function the way that i normally do so not to get into all that but it's work. You're always working. You know you're always picking up slack. You're always sort of figuring here. It's your team right kids. You wanna help. It's kind of back and forth most of the time it's pretty equal. But that's just the way it goes. There's ebbs and flows another thing. I'll say back to kind of healing and moving forward is you can stay very stock and you can hold onto your anger and think that the other person deserves it and it is a way to kind of have your control back But it's just not a fun place to be. And i think you know this goes back to you. Know my parents and just life is short And you know at this time in our lives at this point no matter who your partner is going to be if i was to have left you know oliver. It really would have been to punish him ultimately Maybe it would have been. Because i couldn't have gotten past it. Which a lot of people can't. I think i was lucky. I had the tools I'm extremely empathetic I really like to see the best in people and in lots of situations so. I think i'm lucky that i had that ability But the truth is i could have gone and started over with someone else. And they're going to have their own fucking know suitcase full of shit that they're gonna bring to the relationship You know we were not worn down. We were not dealing with this with children. You know so. Like i say like everybody's stories so registering star but just getting started so it was almost like all right like why not give it a shot and we got lucky we made it through and then we started having kids and no three of them one of them. Who tonight.

albuquerque joe aaron oliver
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

08:09 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"You remember the first night we had sex after. Yeah in the movie room. Yeah yeah of course. God knows intense. Now i know i know it was intense and it was incredible honestly because sex always been great in our relationship pants down. Greatest sex you know. And i'm twenty years later. It's the best it's ever been. And that is noble shit and that is because of a communication and openness vulnerability that we have in our relationship which is a whole other topic which we can get into in another podcast potentially but in this moment when we first started consummated this new relationship that we had after we had gone through a bit of a catharsis together there be rebuilding trust. It was so just deep and memorable because there was this sort of vulnerability there you know. I remember every piece of it was crazy floor. Yeah it was crazy well as intense. I mean look pregnant. Yeah my very shortly after yup. Yeah know in like december. Yeah so we were apart for like two or three months and then we came back strong and then we got pregnant. Yeah right right away out so crazy. I mean you know i think we went back into it and he you know there was just no guarantee but it also the something about that that was freeing to because they think there's so much pressure put on to you know once you're married or you're in this commitment to you know make it perfect or last or whatever it was in this was like where are we going from here. That's a good point though. Go back to that. Because it it's true you're in this commitment to make it perfect and it's supposed to be imperfect and and it just never ish pressure right i. It never is perfect. There is no such thing as perfection. I just forget relationships just generally. I don't think perfection exists in anything. Really you know the flaws the beauties sometimes in the flaws the flaws that we have that we had has created a life that we have now and again. It's about living in the right now it. It's not to say that it can never happen again. And this is how we live right. We don't fucking know we we. We saw another one another of what the future holds. Huge thing in the forgiveness you know. The process of forgiving and healing was me accepting that exact comment. That you just that statement. Which is you don't know. And so i would sit there. You know with my therapist. Say what if and but if he does this again. Or gosh. If i go back and i forgive him or you know we have a great year a couple years we have kids and everything was kind of. What if catastrophe. The future and once i could gain perspective on the concept that there is no guarantee whether he had done this to you or not. I just could see it differently so until it happens to you. You kind of. Don't maybe think it can. I mean it's like death or anything you know around you until it's happening until you're in the shoes is just like the whole you know me worried about being worried about being judged or this or that until you are in that person's shoes every single relationship is different every single you know you know what were your girlfriends like though were they like. Fuck him out of there. No everybody was supportive. I mean yeah. Of course it was You know anger you know but at the same time everybody. My close friends like know me. They know you they loved us. They understood it. I mean you can be quick to judge of course but when you really know the ins and the outs in the story i mean you know. My friends are supportive no matter what. And that's you know. True friends aren't going to judge you. They're going to be there for you no matter what did bad You know all of it and from my so lucky you know. This is a lot from errands but from my perspective i was so deeply madly in love with this person that i was willing to do anything and everything that i could. Do you know to make sure that she felt safe. And then i was every day. Doing something to rebuild trust. So it's two fold number one is. I was doing it for myself because i didn't wanna be this person okay. I came from divorce. I you know my dad. I'm sure messed around right. I didn't want to be that human being for aaron of course but for anybody down the line number one number. Two for me was doing everything that i could do. Even the smallest things to rebuild the trust. And i knew that it wasn't gonna be what it was you know and i can honestly say even today. It's probably not as pure as it was before that moment. That's just a fucking way it is. Our life is beautiful and amazing right now but you know it's not what it was. Yeah i mean it's a scar and you know the other thing is the perspective for me. Once i was that doesn't mean it can't be amazing right and i think once you accept that there is no guarantee there is no happily ever after me not to be like you know negative but There was there was a freedom in me accepting that it could happen again or it might be me or you know could be something else and so once they let go of that and i know this sounds again a little cliche but stayed in the present. A lot of what my therapist would say was the pass is already happened. You decided and shows to be here with him now so going back into your past memories or triggers or you know thoughts does nothing except bring those feelings up again. So it's wasted time and energy worrying about the future no matter what you think. You're going to protect yourself from you. Don't know what's going to happen so all you have is right now. So what was oliver giving me in the moment that day. And that's all that really exists. I know it's so like crazy to say. But i could put up a wall. I could resent him. I could you know worry about it happening again and it may never happen or i can think it might not and be happy and it might happen. I it's just it's everything comes down to control. We all want fuck and know that everything's gonna be okay and you know at the end of the day it. We both want to be here and do the work. And that's the reality. It's like if you're having fun and you know you are attracted to your person and you know you love them in a.

aaron oliver
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

08:09 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"Do you remember the first night. We had sex after the movie room. Yeah yeah of course. God knows intense. I know i know. I know it was. It was incredible honestly because sex is always been great in our relationship pants down. Greatest sex you know. And i'm twenty years later. It's the best it's ever been. And that is noble shit and that is because of a communication openness vulnerability. I think that we have in our relationship. Which is a whole other topic which we can get into in another podcast potentially but in this moment when we first consummated this new relationship that we had after we had gone through a bit of a catharsis together through therapy rebuilding trust. It was so just deep and memorable because there was sort of vulnerability there you know. I remember every piece of it crazy floor. Yeah crazy well as intense. I mean look. We got pregnant very shortly after you know in like december so we were part for like two or three months and then we came back strong and then we got pregnant. Yeah right right away. So crazy i mean you know i think we went back into it and you know there was just no guarantee but it also. There is something about that that was freeing too because i think there's so much pressure put on to you know once you're married or you're in this commitment to you know make it perfect or last or whatever it was and this was like okay where we going from here. That's a good point though. Go back to that because it's true you're in this commitment to make it perfect and it's supposed to be in perfect and and it just never pressure right i. It never is perfect. There is no such thing as perfection. I mean i don't even. I just forget relationships just generally. I don't think perfection exists in anything. Really you know the flaws the beauties sometimes is in the flaws the flaws that we have that we had has created the life that we have now and again is about living in the right now it. It's not to say that it can ever happen again and this is how we live. We don't fucking no. We talked to another one. Another of what the future holds huge thing in the forgiveness process of forgiving and healing was me accepting that exact comment that you just statement. Which is you don't know. And so i would sit there. You know with my therapist and say what if and but and if he does this again. Or gosh if i go back and i forgive him or you know we have a great year a couple of years. We have kids and everything was kind of. What if catastrophe. The future and once could gain perspective on the concept that there is no guarantee whether he had done this to you or not. I just could see it differently so until it happens to you. You kind of. Don't maybe think it can. It's like death or anything you know around you until it's happening until you're in the shoes it's just like the whole you know me worried about being worried about being judged or this or that it's like until you were in that person's shoes and every single relationship is different every single you know and you know what your girlfriends like though where they like. Fuck him of there. Everybody was supportive. I mean yeah of course was You know active maim anger but at the same time everybody you know my close friends like know me. They know you. They loved us. they understood it. I mean you can be quick to judge of course but when you really know the ins and the outs in the story i mean my friends are supportive no matter what. And that's true friends aren't going to judge you. They're going to be there for you. No matter what the bad You know all of it and for my so lucky. A lot from errands but from my perspective. I was so deeply madly in love with this person that i was willing to do anything and everything that i could. Do you know to make sure that she felt safe. And then i was every day. Doing something to rebuild. Trust two fold number one is i was doing it for myself because i didn't wanna be this person okay. I came from divorce. I you know my dad. I'm sure messed around right. I i didn't want to be that human being for erin of course but for anybody down the line number one number. Two for me was doing everything that i could do. Even the smallest things to rebuild the trust. And i knew that it wasn't going to be what it was. Honestly say even today it's probably not as pure as it was before that moment. That's just a fucking eight is our life is beautiful and amazing right now but you know it's not what it was. Yeah i mean it's a scar and you know the other thing is the perspective for me. Once i it doesn't mean it can't be amazed right and i think once you accept that there is no guarantee there is no happily ever after i mean not to be like know negative but There was there was a freedom in me accepting that it could happen again or it might be me or you know could be something else and so once i let go of that and i know this sounds again. A little cliche. Stayed in the present A lot of what my therapist would say was the pass is already happened. You decided and shows to be here with him now so going back into your past memories or triggers or you know thoughts does nothing except you bring those feelings up again. So it's wasted time and energy worrying about the future no matter what you think. You're going to protect yourself from. You don't know what's going to happen so all you have is right now. So what was oliver giving me in the moment that day. And that's all that really exists. I know it's so like crazy to say. But i could put up a wall. I could resent him. I could you know worry about it happening again and it may never happen or i can think it might not and be happy and it might happen. I it's just. It's everything comes down to control. We all want an fuck. No that everything's gonna be okay and know at the end of the day. It's we both want to be here and you know do the work and that's the reality. It's like if if you're having fun and you know you are attracted to your person and you know you love them in.

erin oliver
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

02:59 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"You were doing all the work and changing and growing and i was kind of just holding onto a lot. You know resentment and you know it. Yeah there was a time where he was like okay. You stayed in. This decided to give it a shot here you guys. Are you got to move forward. And then that's when i started doing a lotta work and reading and you know i had a couple great books. That really helped me. I think you know what i mean. Just kind of have that perspective. And there's a quote that i have that i love that. There's a few of them but this one made so much sense it just kind of clicked and i remember reading it and it was forgiveness. Doesn't mean that what they did was okay. It means that you no longer allow what they did to affect you. Simple and short. But it's true when you are holding onto it like the way that i'll explain it is. It felt like for me the minute i was going to give up and forgive him. It allowed him to think that what he did was okay that i didn't you know why wasn't mad anymore or didn't hurt me anymore. And so i would inch long and give a little bit. And then we'd have these like beautiful moments and you know the be laughter unhappiness. We'd move forward. And then i'd wanna take that away and i'd wanna remind him of like how could he do that. Remember and it was. Power was gaining my control back because at the end of the day this was a loss of power control. Whatever you want to say you know and that's probably not the right thing but that's what it is and so for me to kind of gain back any sense of You know power an an. That's the right word but in. That was how i gained it back was kind of my my control or you know feeling confident or strong knowing that i could control my feelings and i could take away that good moment where we've started over essentially because we did live apart for a while and then we found we were in like a neutral home. Wasn't my parents home. Wasn't our home sort of a neutral home and we sort of kinda dated again in a sense remember. Yeah and and it was it was it was it was fun a main it was new and fresh and and then i buy you a turtle baby turtle george george yeah yeah yeah. Grove collaborative that. This.

george george
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

07:24 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"Putting you in a position to where people knew that i was being an asshole and you look like a fool. I remember going through all of that. Well that was the biggest thing you know. And i remember me being who gives a fuck what people think this is about us and it was done an nfl. These i do care did he. So this is what i'm saying when it's everybody's own personal story some people give like the you know. Don't give a fuck when anybody else thinks at that point in time for me and where i was in my life and just kind of emotionally I did care. Because i had walked around kind of so. You know proud of who we were. And you know our relationship. And i felt so deserving after you know a couple not great relationships or whatever and i really took a lot of pride in us and i and i you know it was that part was crushing for me and also just the idea that and i'm sure other people can understand this however it works. I know things about people that like. I shouldn't and people in relationships. And i that their their partners don't know it's just the way the world works gossiping things and whatever and so i just thought wow so not only these few girls that you were with think that i don't know a and they're suing their friends and then there are i it just. It felt i was just embarrassed. And i was. You know. I just that mattered to me because part of i don't know i don't know why i it now but it at the time. That was a big thing for me. You know and i just felt like how could you do that to me too. So like i say everybody and it was humiliate. Yeah and and you know. I think also i was allowing you to you. Were not putting on some facade of like you know Oh i'm mr perfect. I mean i fell in love with an extremely flirtatious. Charming sexual guy and i loved that about you and i didn't want to not be that person and i think i always you know. Of course it's naive now but you know at the time. I just thought well that's like who he is. And i love it and great like not anymore. It wasn't threatened by but old whether back i think the everybody's gonna have something different and their their triggers are going to be different and you know so there was just. There was a a lot of work to do when you get into therapy because it's every day is different some days. You're gonna feel good some days. You're gonna feel horrible. It was like well that. I think that gets to the root of the question you know which is like it's fluid meaning. Yes some days. They're going to be good and other are going to be just horrible and you just have to sort of ride that out. And that's that's kind of what we did. A major triggers. And i you know i was just patient and doing everything that i could to be everything that you needed me to be in the moment. Whatever it was you know. Didn't matter. But i think there is was fried wrong. Whatever it was about what you need from me you know and so having a you know a partner like that helps because you were. It was very very patient than therapy number. There was the time when our therapist was like. Look you can't turn into a mother son relationship or father. I know it was Mother like good cop bad cop or some sun meaning like you know. You can't do this or your you know it's like the remember it was like you're both adults like he can't be turned into sort of you dictating how he lives his life or this mother son sort of vibe like can i do this or is it. Okay if i do this you know what i mean. The right and we were lucky. We were lucky that we had a therapist. Help us through that. Because what happens is it really has to be up to the person. That's doing the forgiving. In the end it came down to me. Because you were you know doing all the work and changing and growing and i was kind of just holding onto a lot of resentment and you know it. Yeah there was a time where was like okay. You stayed in this. You decided to give it a shot here you guys. Are you got to move forward. And then that's when. I started doing a lot of work and reading. And you know i had a couple of great books. That really helped me. I think you know what i mean. Just kind of have that perspective. And there's a quote that i have that i love that. There's a few of them but this one made so much sense it just kind of clicked and i remember reading it and it was forgiveness. Doesn't mean that what they did was okay. It means that you no longer allow what they did to affect you. Simple and short. But it's true when you are holding onto it like the way that i'll explain it is. It felt like for me the minute i was going to give up and forgive him. It allowed him to think that what he did was okay or that. I didn't you know why wasn't mad anymore or it didn't hurt me anymore. And so you. I would inch long and give a little bit. And then we'd have these beautiful moments and there'd be laughter unhappy as we move forward. And then i'd wanna take that away And i'd want to remind him of like how could he do that. Remember and it was a power. It was gaining my control back because at the end of the day this was a loss of power control. Whatever you want to say you know and that's probably not the right thing but that's what it is and so for me to kind of gain back any sense of You know a power or a an an emphasis. The right word but in that was how i gained it back was kind of my my control or you know feeling confident or strong was knowing that i could control my feelings and i could take away that good moment where we've started over essentially because we did live apart for a while and then we found we were in like a neutral home. Wasn't my parents home wasn't our home was sort of a neutral home and we sort of kinda dated again in a sense remember. Yeah and and.

nfl
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

02:09 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"You know and then it was also getting to the root of why you did it and getting into your child to getting into your you know ego and your insecurities and your self worth. I mean all of these deeper things that we also had the time. Because we didn't have kids you know we were actors. I mean we would lucky the life we're living in. We could afford therapy at the time. I mean there's a lot of things that helped us. We have the support of our friends and family. So those things were huge You think at the you know there was also just the reality like i said. I'm not a very jealous person. So i wasn't as caught up in. The you know acts the sexual acts there was enraged and couldn't get past certain things that i think a lot of people really struggle with and those are real you know a and and i respect that and everybody is different. We're made differently. you know. i mean we always joke about our our best friends and couples and you know we could never be with certain partners or certain people You know it's just we have different You know. Strengths and weaknesses. I the balanced just sort of triggers to. Yeah i mean you. And i get into our past. I mean we've always been an extremely open graphic honest couple Yeah i don't know i. I think there's just so many little factors and here's the other thing you have to kind of want to be there. I was. We had just come off of our honeymoon. I was so madly in love with you. You know for many reasons in years and you know so to walk away. Which of course. I thought i was going to be doing that. Sadness was was overwhelming. For me and i feel like you know putting my ego aside which was how could you do that to me feeling. It was also about.

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

06:10 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"Anyway. What i was saying was is that this was symptomatic. It has nothing it had nothing to do with you And i know that sounds like a very cliche thing to say and you watch movies and it's like you know every guy or girl says oh it wasn't you. It was me it has nothing to do with. In this case it was the truth. I mean it had nothing to do with aaron. I mean this was purely symptomatic of my own psychology. So i had to go through this myself to be the man for who ever was in my life whether it be erin or whoever was next. I didn't want whoever was next. I wanted to erin. But i was going to try to get better for myself and not for her. You know so. I wasn't i wasn't catering to sort of what i thought she wanted. It was more of me okay. I'm fucked up. I went through this two year. Cycle of insanity. I need to figure out. Why did this where this comes from. and then get better and that was my mission. And that's like you know really good. Therapy comes in really good support really good self reflection because i feel like a lot of people you know and i say this you know and it's it's sensitive thing but i i also felt like you didn't really get caught so much i think you're about you know a few minutes away from getting god like really look at the big picture but you coming to me and kind of admitting or You know wanting to rid yourself of this secret and this darkness and all the gross stuff said so. I think that also said the ground work for us moving forward if that makes sense Because i do think a lot of people you know when they get caught. I know this is generalizing but means. They weren't done doing what they were doing right. So whatever the act to may be this happened to kind of be you know infidelity or kind of cheating or playing around or whatever you're doing that's like if you get caught it's like oh shit all right now i gotta stop but truly inside of you that need or that desire or you know whatever you were trying to kind of Feed wasn't done it. Just you had to stop because you were told to your caught if that makes sense nor does you know at the same time and i know a lot of people can get caught and say okay like my gosh. Now i gotta really stop. I mean how hard is it that it's just how hard is it to just the fuck not get caught. Come clean like well. It's incredible. I mean but i i remember. We got together. I you know it happened in my past in this. Not i always said you know. I'm a realist. And and i know i don't want to be repeating ourselves but the truth is i think it's very unrealistic for partners. People women men whatever it is to think that once. They're in a committed relationship they're never going to want to be desired or desire. Someone else again is just not true. It's not reality. It's it's not realistic You know and but of course you know with marriage and certain things are comes a level of commitment and You know monogamy of course but it's not natural and it's hard and You know that that for me. I always thought if you are going to you know make a mistake or there's some night some you know weak moment or something happens and we were young and you were working and movie sets and we were a pardon whatever clubs at lay off of it. I always thought like it. That could be me too. You know that that's not my nature at all. It's not who i am. But i'm also not above it. You could some be something that happens exactly but for me. It was like instead of coming home. We've been vindictive. I always thought the risk of getting caught because this is how explaining to the kids too. It's like the kids. Well no no no several but saying like lying or kids author variety. lying is. you're getting. There's two things basically that you're doing wrong the act and then also lying so you know i'm saying relative to the kids like okay. You know you did this thing. That's wrong but then you also lied about it that ends up being the bigger issue worse. And so i say to you you know if you come to me and say you did this. I'm not saying that we're going to stay together. But at least there's room for forgiveness or you know kind of regret that you did it or you know and we're all human i it it's hard. It's hard because you know that if you do sort of come clean that you you're risking everything you know that that right. How cool and how to me. I always looked at that like you were willing to risk losing me to earn my respect in in a weird way to say. I want you to hear this from me and i did it and i hate it and it's horrible. Might lose you. And i might have walked away and said i want to protect myself. I don't wanna be hurt again. I also could want to punish you just like you don't deserve me. I mean you know. This was not an easy progress. I mean you know Well i think. I went through every right. Jack wave of emotion. Right one minute angry. When minute. I was hurt others. I was confused. Question then is which is..

erin aaron Jack
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

01:47 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"Highly good night night can night okay. That's a big ass bag a goldfish eating goal bash. Chomping in their cut that out chopping believe. Okay okay. we're back. We've already been back. We're we're going to keep the chomping. And because i'm a guy aaron the chopping and the chewing thing with her fucking like sometimes at night. You know i'll get high. And i want to have a healthy snack if these mangoes these dried dried mangos. What's the company call. Oh they're so fucking good. And i will sit in bed and chomp on these mangoes and she hurts not good i i know i love doing to i get you crunch alive french or i'm a chip eater crunch too much sometimes for me too. So they're so excited to tell you about all of in june. This is the manny system. It's the answer to salon perfect nails at home all of june. I know it's it's this may may not seem that it's up my alley okay. Because i actually don't get manicures myself. But i have a daughter who's seven. Who is obsessed with her nails getting her nails done..

aaron
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

06:47 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"But i literally throwing does like three months old. I mean you know babies. I had little kids and i just was being brutally honest and he did the answer that he was probably waiting for something i think he thought he was joking. And i explained to him and i went into full depth detail on why and by the end he was sold in the understood the story but anyways i do and i don't know here's here's what i will say i am not a smuggler. When it comes to sleep i don't know anyone out there might agreem- not i cannot fall asleep on all i love him i will. I don't like snuggle separately. But i can't all of a sudden i'm like on his chest and like i'm sweaty or like a weird you know it's never on my chest. I'm just saying back in the day. Like i go to when you're watching a movie. There's something sweetened snugly i. It's uncomfortable both for me. Like i don't like that feeling and then also you have this jerk thing that you do when you fall asleep at night you gotta. It's like he's falling in his sleep. It happens every single night and the one or two times a year. That i like snuggle kind of fall asleep on having forget i get woken up by this. Like shaky jerking life squeeze. Oh it's do it. So anyways. I will love on you. We can have our time. I love it. But i when i go to sleep. It's very it's it's all you know. Yeah yes so. It's impossible to sort of penetrate the fortress. It's impossible Anyways but so no. Thank you for the comments. I mean they were really No so you re comments. And and honestly i love reading bad comments sometimes because it just it. It tickles me but with something like this. It was a little scary end. There were positive and they made they made me feel good and you know. Here's the other thing we this is not fresh for us and we. Are you know where we are today because of what happened at that point in time and you know it all happened. It was not planned and all the sudden. It was airing and i thought. Oh my gosh like what did what did we actually say like. Don't remember and it it. I got kind of uncomfortable and and was thinking back to it but the truth is what do we. What are we stopped where we let off you know because what happened was afterwards because i think a lot of these comments. Some comments were questions like well. How did you you know actually occurred terms with it. Because what happens when this in in a situation like this is the five plus years of built up trust has just been completely not just eroded its it's been annihilated and now you have to build back that trust and it. It's there's no one way to do that. You know there's no guarantee. I think under no guarantee i think there was a i say this and it's our story and it's very specific and that's why i was prepared for people you know or women or whatever to judge judge me you know for staying because that's very easy to do in very understandable and i think there are many many many times in cases where you know. You shouldn't stay and you know it's ours was so particular so specific and at a certain time in our lives that was that allowed us The time to heal the time to work through it. We were young. we didn't have kids It was you know. There's so many of those things that go into it. That's that's what i always say and also it wasn't just like Put a band aid on it and you know. Forget that it happened. I mean it was it was real and it was in you know intense and we both did a lot of work and one thing that i was thinking back on. Was you know you. You have to know your person okay. So we'd been together basically six years at that point so You know we knew each other. There was so much history so much love so much. You know already under our belt even though we were still young babies and whatever But you have to want to donut soaring. Yeah if you can hear that donut bulldogs anyways. So i don't lose my train of thought Which i guess it just did actually do. Yeah i was like on a on a roll. It was trying to think of where we're it going with that Anyways my point was you have to trust your instinct. Your gut is telling you that you don't trust your partner or you don't think you can. That's important thing to Listen to i was looking at somebody that was we were. We separated and we talked about this separated for a long for. Yeah you live with jackie. I live with my parents. I was in therapy. We were in therapy. I was you know. I had that fucking What was it called journal journal but it was was a thing. Yeah it's a thing called artists this way the artist's way. Yeah i did the artist's way. And i was just writing. But you're a very sensitive like you know. Empathetic person like what you were going through was your own experience. This wasn't selfish. This wasn't there. Yes there was shame but it was. It was so much deeper so there was a lot of that. You know that. I think went on all those symptomatic you know. I think the whole point of it was is it sounds as it had nothing to do with you. Know and that is the cliche sort of statement ad. Nothing to do with you was was in about you but it truly had nothing to do with. You is high.

journal journal jackie
"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

04:37 min | 4 months ago

"erinn" Discussed on Sibling Revelry with Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson

"Relations and what. It's like to be siblings. We are assembling rail though. Now don't do that with your mouth revelry that's good so we're back part two participacoes apart do for various reasons you know. There's logistical part. Two which is just my sister's working. Then i think our last one was somewhat of a success you know. We had more comments on our sibling revelry instagram account than we've ever had people were fascinated and of course immediately fell in love with you as most humans do and they wanted to hear more. They wanted to hear more from you and they were a lot of the comments. Were worried about what revealing so much. You know might entail given social media and people who are sitting behind their keyboards and their little fingers typing all kinds of shit. But it didn't happen. There was nothing bad. That was actually said austin star. Here's the thing. I think people that are listening. Like you is like you and kate and you know i also at the end of the day. There's something very relatable or real or honest I got a ton of amazing beautiful supportive taxes from friends As well you know. I think the end of the day like it's something that you trying to move the pillow. So you can see me a little bit. Yeah it's weird. I don't wanna sort of separate just to give everyone a visual lying in bed right now. And there's a pillow that sort of like oddly separating us. She's trying to pull the pillow down to make eye contact which leads me into a whole other topic of how we sleep. Pillow game in our bed is it's it's on another level aaron needs. I think she sleeps with six to eight pillows. It is it is. it's an exaggeration. It's not really an exaggeration for no no. No there's more than four there has. There's a fortress that is built up between myself and her like i have do. I have to storm the castle in order just like touch some skin. It's impossible. I find myself reaching under the castle to try to dig down and maybe sort of find some contact throughout the night. It's it's nearly impossible to touch her because she's built okay. Here's what i'll say. I love my sleep. I take it very seriously. Anybody that knows me. I do not fuck around. It's up. my passion was chris martin. My god chris such a funny story. Actually aaron goes to chateau mall some fancy hotel in. La i'm not there and she's she she's you know she's like i think gwyneth paltrow was a bunch of people and she sits. She gets seated next to chris. Martin of coldplay. Who's this sort of. You know a touchy luxury intellectual philosophical intense intense. And and the minute. La you tell the story. But by its i mean the short version is we sat down. We started talking You know small talk anyways immediately cuts through small talk with chicken until he doesn't like in his like so. What are you passionate about. Like very intensely very directly and i said Besides my children and he laughed and he was like. Yeah i said sleaze we.

aaron kate austin chateau mall chris martin chris gwyneth paltrow La Martin
Frailty Myths with Erinn Carter & Georgia Faye Hirs

Cultivating Place

12:21 min | 2 years ago

Frailty Myths with Erinn Carter & Georgia Faye Hirs

"Aaron Quarter in Georgia Her Sti or two of three Co founders of frailty myths is an organization based in Oakland California whose mission is to reimagined feminine any and build power by bringing our whole selves into our work of cultivating place wherever and however we do that they join us today to explore health concept of frailty miss can be implicit elicit bias in the gardening world. And how we're all better off when we can see these biases admits for what they are and compost them openly into more nurturing concepts around self and other. Thank you for being here today. And welcome Georgia and Erin Erin. Thank you so much for having us. Hi there so I want to get started with the two of you giving me your work in your own own words because it's always better that way. Let's start with you Aaron because you are the one that reached out to me to see about vote having a conversation. About where your work. And my work intersects in that beautiful space absolutely. Thank you so much for having us. I'm so excited to be here and talk to you more about about what we do not miss about what you do at cultivating increase. So yeah frailty miss is a is a nonprofit that was started by Georgia myself. Another Co founder of ours and we've existed since two thousand in sixteen in Oakland California. That's where we're based out of. But we host workshops all across the country for Women Trans and gender non conforming folks and the mission of frailty miss is to create a space in a community where Women Trans and gender non-conforming folks can heal trump Z.. Trauma that what is Patriarchy that is generational trauma and have a space to reconnect with our feelings of strength power community and justice. And we do that. Through hosting free workshops in the community on skills and spaces are traditionally dominated by men and that includes woodworking sailing climbing gardening cultivation And our goal is to build a space and build a community where we can try new skills through. We can try new things where we can challenge ourselves and again break free of that myth that to be a woman to to not be man means that we are weak and don't have the ability you to be strong and changed the world. Yeah I love the three part sentence I guess there are three part phrase or motto auto on the website. Feel your inner power. Grow your confidence change the world. That is to such beautiful some Asian Let's move to so you Georgia with the way you see the work. Maybe in any different way than Aaron just described and or maybe your were your personal experience of it short and I Echo Erin as far as Thanks for having and I think I agree with everything that Aaron said. The piece that has felt especially powerful mean in the last few years is part of the journey that that Aaron and I and the other frailty facilitators as part of the work and as part of the workshops that has been particularly profound is a The quality of nurturing and curiosity and care and so there is what feels to me a very revolutionary act and not only taking space base back but kind of reconnecting and healing from the impacts in the Traumas of these oppressive systems. That we've internalized in such a deep painful away and the ways that we can connect that back to Earth to gardening to self and community reliance the way that we hold each other and and navigate through conflict to do that in a way where we're collectively lifting each other up in healing versus tearing each other down or kind of competing. They're all of these very small on very profound ways that were also challenging these systems that have unfortunately become really normalized. And that we've internalized in ways that for myself I often often find myself myself out of frailty myth workshop being desperately moved or touched by something that someone has said or shared in realize is that it was some pain from some experience I had tucked so far away that it didn't have words for it now through the act of building a stool or or failing at a thing thing that someone didn't think that they could do but feeling in a way that safe has allowed them to access and me to access these these kinds of points of pain and then he'll from them and that feels when it comes to change in the world and the work that frailty Mrs doing in that we're doing within all of our communities Ryan's hands are really really like there isn't much I haven't found other spaces for. Yeah and you know one of the reasons that I find this. So so compelling is when you think about gardening which is my primary focus it? It is easy to say. Oh yeah there's a lot of women who guarded like how many how many women don't garden. It can be seen as a very female dominated space but the fact is there are whole sections of the gardening world. In its wholeness that are traditionally not taken up by women and you know seeing one of your videos that that is showing your community how to use a skill saw how to pound nail how to build a whole structures pictures how to do you know whatever the kind of hands on construction bigger machinery work that makes gardening in landscaping even on small scales. Easier and more interesting and you can just do more with it are often like Oh. I'M GONNA get many of my husband to do that or my my brother or my dad and the empowerment that is taken away from you with that mindset is incredible so I was super excited to have this conversation with you. I'm fifty four. I only learned how to use a table. saw maybe five years ago and it's one of the greatest tools ever uh-huh okay so let's step back a little bit till we get into more detail on exactly what you do when you're workshops and into some of that more emotional space of what happens when we unlock this kind of power for ourselves and tell us a little bit about each of you and kind of where you grew up where what were your experiences that led you you to be people that wanted to do this kind of work which is is a little challenging. It's it's probably Expansive in sometimes painful ways which I think Georgia already kind of hinted at And yet like those growing pains. Get us where we want want to be so. Let's start with you Georgia since they started with Aaron before tell us a little bit about your own background. And what kind of grew you into who woman Were person that wanted to be doing this kind of work. I grew up in Indiana and in in a relatively big family but was the first girl born in my family and kind of grew up and spent most of my adolescence and into my early teenage years feeling really isolated. Because I wasn't the kind of girl that all of the people around me were that people wanted me to be. I would get like like I didn't connect with those with makeup and and I remember really being really frustrated as a young person thinking like well. Why don't and why do I have to fight so hard to get access to do to do fun stuff or to be in my body and why is it so I felt kind of shame that I wanted to be more physical and also frustrated and angry that I didn't feel like I was allowed to do that but also shame that I wasn't doing a good job of being a girl and also really angry women because I felt like they were the ones that were putting in? This felt like a very suffocating box and so I kind of found myself UNIN journey of both being like of of isolating myself away away from women in turning myself into this kind of like go. I'm not like the other girls. I'm not like the other women because I felt like that was the only way I could get access and it was really. It was a really lonely and really frustrating and like I said. I carried a lot of Shane for many years around that I was I was failing as a woman. I was wasn't doing what I was meant to be doing. Is A girl and I also wasn't getting the same kind of access or space to the things that I I wanted to do and felt as I as I got older they went to school. I met Aaron in college and I started really kind of unpacking and learning about systems of oppression. Shen particularly of Patriarchy about you know movements that I didn't know about and started to really unpack. My anger toward women didn't wasn't wasn't actually about women in the box that I was felt restricted to was was a result of these these oppressive systems and so I moved moved into working in activism. I always had odd jobs mechanic shops. I found myself working on Greenpeace ships where I was trying to get as much as many skills as I could and Aaron at the same time was in Grad school and we had these simultaneous conversations. About what space space look like. And what access look like in the way it was manifesting in our lives and I remember feeling like that was in so much kind of physical and emotional oceana pain that I felt like my option in shit filled with with men from all over the world was to either assimilate into this very toxic culture masculinity of of posturing of pretending like I didn't have feelings or emotions or that I wouldn't have access to anything if I if there was some other way into into that kind of idea failed to was birthed about what it looks like. Would it would look like and feel like to create a space where we could be our whole selves where we could be honest about our fear of table saw and still learn to use it where he had smashed things with hammers and still gently hold flowers and appreciate them in that. You know that none of those things are inherently gendered gender you identify with or whatever gender identify with is fundamentally what those things are. Because I'm doing them and so there was I think in the creation of frailty medicine the the burning of the of the idea was a very long kind of life life journey that we were on an independently and then collectively and I think for me. It really comes down to a practice that has never stopped. which is how can I? It'd be more hole in. How can I be more fully in my whole self? And how can I heal the shame that I've built up over the years about pieces of myself. I didn't feel like I was allowed to access and so for me failty miss because I'm very comfortable with tools has opened up space for me to be more in touch with things that I felt like. I wasn't allowed to do like gardening and like baking or being gentle or telling people that I'm scared or that I don't want help worried where I do want help. And so there's a wholeness there that I think for me has been something that even though that's why the organization started the manifestation and what it feels like is. There hasn't been something that I have experienced. That is more powerful in my own than allowing myself to be in that kind of space and seeing what it does for other people to be respected as their whole selves and not need the answers. You know

Aaron Quarter Georgia Erin Erin Oakland Co Founder California Indiana Ryan Shane Shen Grad School