1 Burst results for "Ellie Rudolph"
"ellie rudolph" Discussed on Good For You
"That makes me so sad as a woman and so impressed from a branding perspective and like should I just disappear so ask me something. Asked me something that you guys have not figured out on your because I think it was gonNA come to your poss- some I think. So and now I mean yeah oh I wanted to ask you this. Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? Of course still. Yeah I mean because you seem very self aware but you also seem pretty confident like we just talked about the like. Oh I hate myself. I didn't do that right. Yeah that's like perfectionism. Work Hall is of course. We'll have that but the impostor syndrome. I don't deserve this and I'm not good enough. Yeah do you still struggle with sorry? Okay I don't have so I don't I definitely don't hate myself. I don't say that anymore even as a joke. That's one of the off limits things for me but like when I come upstage and I'm like what it's more like. How did I do that? I could have done that better. Which is true. Yes saying I could have done. Something better is not low self esteem. I don't like this thing. Where now at if self edification in self-improvement is now self flagellating? It's not it's a scientific fact that if I go on stage and I come off. I probably could have done something a little bit better. The audience will never know the difference. It doesn't matter but I know I know yeah. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah I'm the one that did this so I know that I could have done better. You guys don't get to decide that I have low self esteem because I want this to be as good as it can be like. I refuse on that. I refuse for someone being wanting to be excellent as like being pathologist says a perfectionist. Yes you know what I mean as long as you yourself have times that you go. That was excellent. That's right that's right but if you never do that agreeing agree agree. Great so imposter for me. I don't think I don't deserve certain things actually think I deserve a lot more. I'll teach me how will that way I have had a lot of things in this business? Go sideways and like really unfairly not happen. Because of people's Egos and bad behavior granted. I made bad decisions I mean I didn't I didn't. They weren't bad at the time with Mike clipboard and on paper. I didn't trust my gut about certain people that ended up being you know megalomaniacs narcissists and that destroyed things so. I had a lot of things that I wanted to happen not happen. I had the wrong team in place so I think I deserved for those. They sound so i. I have reverse imposter syndrome with a couple projects where I'm like. It's unfair that that that didn't happen. I mean look I but I'm also I'm going to tell us that program step threes. Everything's happening exactly as it should. And Thank God. That didn't happen in dodged a bullet in rejection. God's protection and all that looking back. It is the best thing that happened. I know that but I I still am allowed to say I deserve that and I didn't get it and life's not fair and that's fine Inter I definitely have I think because we're magicians. In a way you know we sometimes go on stage and you guys are GonNa think we're having the best time of our lives and we're really sad inside or confused or you might think that we You know a really in the moment president when sometimes we're not and we're thinking about our next joke or whatever I went onstage. I did two months of stand up right after my dad died and no one would've known a lot of what we do is acting so when. I have a the impostor syndrome of trick to them. Sometimes it's true You know so I have a little bit of. They're going to find out that I'm a phony. There's a little bit of that because ending. Sometimes we have to be because of the circumstances I mean I was dreading doing shows the week that everyone was canceling. 'cause CORONA BECAUSE I'm not to go to Detroit and I'll have to go in there. I'M GONNA have to pretend I'm not scared and I'm GonNa have to pretend that every time I hear cough I don't hear it. I'M GONNA have to barrel through these jokes. I'm going to have to like lie about why can't do a meet and greet. I was like I'm GonNa have to be a complete phony and sometimes we have to do that right. You know so. I think that I some I've to delineate the difference between imposter syndrome and like no. I did kind of just pull one over because I had to because we have to perform we plan at six months in advance. And we don't know what's going to happen that morning and if my mom is sick and something bad happens and I just heard bad news I still have to go on stage and not let anyone know. But that's a there's a difference between this audience is going to find out that I'm sad today and every audience is GonNa find out. I actually suck. Yeah Yeah Haley. Yeah I remember when I Was Touring. I was opening for this male comedian. That was pretty big at the time and his whole thing was about being a married guy being married guy and his kids and his wife and the thing and probably his annoying nagging wife because all wives are annoying and a nightmare. You dare they rear and Razors. You propose to them. Like he went and bought the ring. Why and he was broken up. They were they had been divorced for like six months in every night before he went onstage. He'd put on his wedding ring. So Ellie Rudolph is like oh brutal that is sober. Yeah that to me is when when I think when I'm being false or not telling the truth you know that's when I would feel like I was just being fake or being phony but I think that I think that that goes away with time you know. I think I definitely felt it more in the beginning and I don't feel it as much anymore because of how much I've given up for this and how hard I've worked I don't really feel it anymore. Yeah I feel a little bit. It was like a podcast. 'cause I don't know what I'm doing like the place I feel imposter syndrome is like with podcast. You know stuff that I haven't been doing for a really long time like I look at you. Know someone like Rogaine and people in Bobby Layman Friends of mine. That are doing pockets for a long time. And I'm like I don't want you to think that I think I'm you. Yeah you know because I'm really big into meritocracy. We're so worried about what other kind they don't give a shit good for you. Can I come in your podcast? And I'm like but I'm not trying to steal your late. They're like we don't think you are fine. Yeah I mean I don't know I think I think Comedians who are successful. Don't worry about other people being successful. I think unsuccessful Comedians toggle. A lot of Shit. Yeah that's correct and so if someone's talking shit about you. It's like they're talking about everybody. Yeah that's right now. Like they're they're probably saying like and they last special was fine. You know nothing like it's also like yeah. They have more time to gossip because they only do fifteen minutes a night right. Yeah more time on their hands and they're hanging out. I remember this was like I want to say member. And Jerry Seinfeld was at the comedy store like two months ago. This was recently Jerry. Seinfeld like popped into the comedy store and there's held a lease alone. Vote Pompton and did this. I had never heard this before but it was fucking hilarious about reasons. Of course he can make raisins funny and he did like long very good bit about raisins. Just destroys right. He goes off stage. I go on I think after Hammer. I don't know who else it doesn't matter and then I go sit down in pretty known. Comic is like doing old material. I was like Whoa go dude. It's first of all I haven't heard that. Yeah I don't know if like what are you doing? I know what are you doing? Yeah and I remember having this very specific moment whereas like don't do that don't do it. Yeah it is a part of the brain that's responsible for being. A comedian is being critical. Judging being sort of an observer not a participant. Because that's what we are. We're not participants in society where observers in society. It's that simple and we have to find something wrong with everything we've defined injustice everywhere right. I mean Gary Goldman. Did it with sugar cookies like we can. We can make anything offensive what we do so but I think the key is being able to turn it off when it comes to other comedians. And we're not performing or writing. Yeah I think for me. I have really tried to find something. I can liken respect about most common Even if they're not like I thing and if they're not but we're not the target audience exactly where you're buying tickets. You don't have to like it and it's funny I've ever Neal Brennan said once A bout like comedy managers and he was like if I was a comedy manager. I would just walk into a comedy club. Ask all the Comedians who they hate and then signed those comics that's hilarious. That's so fun. Yeah who do you hate great right because every time you talk shit about another comedian? What you're really saying is why didn't I get what they got? Why don't I have what they have? That's right and you're just a just makes you sound angry and yeah and it doesn't even if other people are agreeing with you that just going to you. Don't even have a lot of anger. I don't but I've also gotten a lot of shit really. Oh my God I've got. I mean like I've been given a lot of opportunities by the industry if I was like. I have more good news and badness I haven't heard about it really yeah. I have a Netflix Special Whitney. I know but I'm twenty six. What's it's a stupid thing? No I mean I mean I got my first special at twenty six and I gotta listen God. Y'All don't ever don't ever gives me don't ever Google Yourself. Oh no I would never you getting me. I think I got my first special twenty six. That's what I'm saying. Oh God saying do you still feel that way because I'm sure you do fog? Yeah I'd I feel like I've just always been all like I what I was twenty six. I didn't even think I know I am. I am you. Yeah Oh beginning. Oh you are you are Italy and I am the United States and you should be telling me what to expect that I never leave your home ever again. Maroon yourself in your apartment for life never speak to another person and don't Google yourself under any circumstance. I do think though I think for me. It's so interesting that I didn't put that together because I just keep going like well. She's young in a different time like it's still so early. That's rolling farted. That's really really aggressively. So I gave him duck. Eggs don't ask did you. Actually I I wanted to get him just eggs and I got home and they were duck. Eggs Hashtag Los Angeles and so those are duct far. You have no idea how good you have it Bro. I think in my head I just go like Oh like people think women are funny now. Like this is a different totally. This is not a gender thing. This is an age. That's right interesting when you got a special. Yeah at Twenty Six. And you know yeah. How old was Berlin Birgit? Blew up what I mean. I think it's like what would be worse being successful and having people not like you or being not successful and having the respective comics not you wouldn't have either no. I think there are people who are considered like underrated or whatever. Who would you want? You want to be underrated. No probably would I'll be overrated any day of the fucking really S. When have everyone hate you? Sure really yeah. I don't know that I feel that way. If you don't pay my bills I just don't I can't listen to you. I just it's bad business. I love you so much. What you're my hero. I'm just saying like you don't I don't work for you. Yeah I work for the people that plus press play on the Netflix special in the people to buy tickets..