19 Episode results for "Eight Year"
PASTOR RAY OSBORN - IF YOU CHANGE THE INGREDIENTS, YOU WILL HAVE A DIFFERENT OUTCOME.
"This being an eight year old girl she said to us and eight years old tame your cooking meals for myself in the mayerling hearing every morning out of mainland pool rash Gramley. They serves us here on enjoy models as independence. Eating will work.
Trust Us, Cristela Alonzo Gets the Last Laugh
"Isn't going to stay so the final moment when she realized that I was GONNA leave gets down on her knees she begs me not to go she's crying they always been this good kid and I always did what my mom told me but I knew that ways to help us grow as a community with little shame both in the context of us being friends but also like I've heard you in interviews talk about this but you never really talk about it average day we were allowed to sleep until nine in the morning if we woke up after nine my mom was livid because she still so much to learn about this funny woman I know and Love Chris Stella congratulations on is really the first song in my life that I made a conscious effort to remember the moment I heard it because it was so overwhelming to me Elliot you know what I I am tired of cleaning up the shards of glass from all the ceilings I keep breaking Oh my God you've spoken a lot about how you grew up one of four kids squatting in a diner sharing a twin bed with your mom and you talk about it so freely so generously because we didn't have enough food so breakfast was this thing that this concept I grew up thinking oh school has breakfast would run outside pick a star and just make a wish and the wish was usually leaving my hometown to see what was out there because it just seemed so I'm sitting in the car windows rolled down I look up at the sky and I used to do that twinkle twinkle little star every night the moment the sun would set it was so foreign to hurt but to me that moment when I heard that song looking up at the stars everything was aligned perfectly imagine we'd open liquid Selena and instead you give us Boston's more than a feeling as you're opening chapter what does that song mean to you Boston's more than a feeling and I use that moment as kind of the event that pushed me forward in a lot of things because it was so unknown to me as well that I just with her memoir music to my ears we talked about so much the conversation takes up two episodes in this first part christel tells me about the loneliness for child her Netflix comedy special lower classy made us laugh mostly at ourselves and now crystal Alonzo is giving us an intimate look into her life mainly texting you throughout my my first reading of it and I love the way you structure it each chapter is about a song the captures time in your life not to pigeonhole you but so you know what this feeling I'm gonNA try the rest of my life to try to get this feeling in my life whenever I can thought that we were wasting time in our day we had to be productive I had to clean the house every morning at nine in the morning first of all we wouldn't eat breakfast we my mother what I wanted to do I just used to tell her all the time hey trust me this pays off it's going to be great for everybody and she never got it but at home we don't eat breakfast so I would wake up at nine I would have coffee as a kid it's the way that you write about it in the book so nineteen eighty s San one Texas what was just like your average day like mine spent most of the day by myself and honestly being by myself was probably the best thing that could have happened to me because in weird way I had no restrictions nobody was telling me that what I was getting into in regards to like we would sit or lie down in our little twin bed and we would talk for a couple of hours before she had to go into work my mom would come home at eight thirty so really Hashtag blessed Hashtag blessed okay but seriously I loved the book I loved it I loved to let you know how much I loved it because I was annoyed when we were squatting in the diner we cleaned that diner every day every day and after that we went usually just sit my mom and I could and the heartbreak of caring for her mother in next week's episode we'll talk about the come up and finding herself through comedy I will admit even though we are friends there was the first Latino Latina guest to earn a second episode Oh is that right Oh man that's added to your list of action and it was just this moment in my life where I allowed it was just such a pure love and appreciation for it that I the town seemed too big and I thought what about the world how big is the world of my little hometown seems humongous I could never explain to my family ESPEC- doc theater and you know the creative arts and everything I nobody nobody was there to make fun of me nobody was there to question it nobody was there to judge it I think that's why he likes spending my adult life so so lonely in a way you know so by myself I mean I'm like a hermit I'm a homebody because grew up that way and I like I like solitude it makes me think but you did friends on television you're right picture it San Juan Texas like I'm going into the the office job like Yo Natalia pour me some you know cup and Joe got a clock in clean this house you know it's funny because friendship that really shows friendship usually you know during the eighties a lot of the shows I watched always family sitcoms they were hi it's an interesting connection because we do not address the fact that Sophia Petrello is an immigrant in the show she talks about as a mother we're so good as a culture as a society to make immigrants feel like they're not part of us that show shows you that an immigrant was just like a regular person because they didn't think about it but I realized that that connection between Dorothy is borne Atkins Silvio Petrello really reminded me of my mom and nineteen eighty-seven and eight year old girl lives with her family in a border town when suddenly out of nowhere she meets four older women lay live in Miami if somehow the five of them virtues our mutual friend Jose Antonio Vargas talks about the fact that it's part of how he learned English I mean there's something for our generation about that show it's so rare to have a show about stories about family and you know I talk about in the book it's it's these situations that were so unfamiliar to me you know it's like Oh my God we have two birthday cakes what are we gonna do got it constantly but because she's Italian we just consider her an immigrant in the United States but we really think of her as American and found that interesting because my mom was from Mexico and for me I never looked at her and thought wow look at this Mexican woman from Mexico that I have millier and it seemed so comforting because it made me feel like like I belonged here and even though I was born in Texas tire life has been made to make me feel like I don't belong here and that is something that I've always thought this idea this comfort available that's why for me the black culture I embraced with all my heart when I discovered it because I grew up in an era that this validation that it's okay for me to exist here in writing music to my years did you really it's like you know I'm like what's a birthday cake like what is a birthday cake I don't even understand this but also it wasn't until I was an adult is how quintessentially eighties and middle class and white you're musical and TV tastes were oh absolutely absolutely but think about it that's all we didn't think they didn't think about having an episode where Sophia might get deported you know it's just Sophia they did an episode where Sophia bought a peach area where we didn't have a lot of diversity we were predominantly Latino everybody we didn't have a lot of I didn't grow up with a lot of white people or black people like that was the episode you know we were just allowed to see a mother and daughter exist and with me I saw that relationship with my mom and it just seems associate with we were forced at this idea that people like me were also told at the same time we could never have now look like with rap music they were talking about like where they came from their neighborhoods and it was different my experience was different from them but you know I was taught that that's what you were supposed to reach four strive for because it was the only depiction I had I thought that that that up but I was less than a person because I didn't live at a two story house I didn't have the two parent household what I loved is that they actually talked about having difficulties in like how they struggled and for me I was like man like that's the closest thing that I can like black culture whatever was available to me in my neighborhood man I fell in love with because that was the first time especially with rap music which I talk about in the really been at that level was when you really realize that you belonged but let me tell you when I started discovery like Oh like we were all Latino you know like Asian like you know so when I was growing up I always did see the quintessential middleclass family an replace you could find so for her I imagine that having done so much for her kids she always wanted them close to her my sister become best friends okay what was it about the golden girls that he loved so it was one of my my family ate dinner around the table at the same time we ate as a family but like they like dressed up they would eat dinner in outfits that we would go to church do any part that entertained the possibility of just saying no no absolutely not you know I mentioned in the book when I decided Oregon's fiction yet we were told I was told through the stories but the that's what the American dream was so if we didn't attain crying and she's just begging me like don't go don't go like you're breaking my heart and it was like Boston's more than a feeling TV shows my mom's like man we gotta make these hundred dollars in food stamps last a whole month you know and it's like Oh yeah I'm just like the going to stay so the final moment when she decided when she realized that I was GONNA leave she gets down on her knees she begs me not to go she's to go to college for theater. My mom forbid Mega to go she wanted me near her so there was a moment when she didn't think I was going to leave her to go to college higher education there's just no way I could say no and I don't understand how people Super Catholic but she wanted to protect her kids and she left without anywhere to go which is why we ended up squatting in this diner because that was the the American dream where we a failure as Americans was a failure as a person I realized man I felt growing my whole childhood upbringing was about seeing these movies seeing these TV shows where where people got to live a life that to me was I I couldn't do it I mean I have been conditioned since I was a child to make sure that my family was always taking home it was kind of like I felt like I was disowned and when she asked me to drop out of college I had a fear that I if I said no I would is my family because I had already somewhat lost my mother for a bit because of my choice to go get which might mom couldn't understand like she didn't want it is a brutal section of the book it is so painful it's this thing where my mom chose more painful live and to write but ooh yeah it's this thing where she left her abusive husband she was the first woman in her family to leave a bad marriage and for for some reason everybody worse Cardigan inside the house you know they would eat dinner mm-hmm i WanNa fast forward to college you spend a year at college and then I think it's after the summer of your that my mom always thought that I was the one that could stop their life because I really had no life no direction I didn't position but put on the baby of the family which is what makes it so interesting right like right it was put on you even though you were the youngest absolutely not and that's the thing that I never understood I always thought that it was the oldest that could do it but also I was the one that didn't really have I remember telling her I'm like this thing is bigger than me it's bigger than all of this it's like it's just bigger and I left and she stopped talking to me for a while and she kept telling me I wasn't going I wasn't going and I had always been this good kid and I always did when my mom told me but I knew that I wasn't than they do your mom's sick you fly home she has this miraculous recovery which is spoiler alert just a real surprise in the book and then she time lived in Dallas so did my brother but they were still in Texas the fact I wanted to go outside of Texas meant that she was GonNa lose me forever I can't tell you how beautifully you write about your mom being sick about moving into your sister's sleeping next to her and just the sound should make it basically says I survived because you were here with me so now you have to stay and so again ever the dutiful daughter you stay and caught me by surprise it's backstreet boys shape of my heart which doesn't feel like the soundtrack for what I just articulated so what did that you know like in TV shows and movies they actually do say no and they're like I'm going to go live my own life I'm my own person and Blah Blah Blah Blah but for me brother-in-law worked in construction my brother Reuben worked at this gas station late night shifts where they had like a drive through you know what I mean it's like my family tonight how the two of you would go to Walmart so that you could distract her in the middle of the night and during that period though the song you listened to really seen anybody that they love and on their deathbed devastating doesn't say an especially if it's apparent because they've always been this the I found myself living with my mom and the Little House that we moved in after Tara that's kind of like the old fashioned matriarch position where you know my mom grew up in an old world is it's an old fashioned major drive for anything I was really was the black sheep of my family it's not the last time that you're asked to put your dreams on of direction in their life even though I did I was the one that new one they wanted to do her like their entire life I knew what I wanted to do since I could remember since I was the squadron at the Steiner Oh is in my twenties and I had nothing except the little bag and you know thing where it's like well we're just home being regular people and I'm like my God like do you understand how fancy you are like I'm watching these strong ones and now you see them at their weakest and it's kind of like you find out that the superhero has lost
372: Is the SDR Role a Career Trap?
"You're listening to the daily sales tips. PODCAST I'm your host Scott Ingram. Today's topic might be a little bit controversial. Maybe even a lot controversial. But it's really been bugging me and I think we need to talk about this. Based on a variety of messages I received conversations. I've had over the last few months months. I'm starting to believe that. In many cases the SDR role is proving to be a dead end or a career trap for otherwise talented young sales professionals nationals. The most glaring example came from a conversation I had with a really high performing top sales development Rep. He was the number one rep in the organization. Nation had been every single month for over a year and his goal. When he started with the company was to move into an eight-year all the company promised him at the beginning that after six months of consistent performance that they would build a bridge for him to that eight year roll over a year later no bridge worse yet that he would receive regular calls from recruiters but as soon as they found out that he had no closing experience? Those doors pretty quickly closed super talented guy. I stuck. It's even worse for the not quite number one but above average. STR's who've reached out to me as well some companies do a great job of grooming these talented young performers into strong eighties but sadly those companies are a tiny minority. Far are too often. I see organizations that treat. STR's as disposable assets. They're applying a super old school. Churn and burn. Type of mentality and in many cases are turning an entire generation off of sales and pushing them into other roles when they're really totally capable. So I'm GonNa talk about this from a solutions perspective because well that's how I roll I. We'll talk about it from an SDR perspective and then I'll address sales leaders and other executives executives if you're in SDR role or are considering an SDR role. Look around and get a sense for the reality of the situation. Is there an opportunity fortuity in this role for you to develop and grow beyond just prospecting techniques and to move up into another role if that's what you desire. Have others others done it before you or does. This company bringing other experienced eighty es rather than promoting from within. If you're not seeing what you want it's time for a really open conversation with your leadership about what you really WanNa see in your future. I think the SDR role is going to help you develop some incredibly incredibly valuable skills and experience. Prospecting is key to success in virtually any sales role but it's a subset of all the sales skills you're we're gonNA need to develop to become a strong full cycle seller. I'm not sure there's any benefit to staying in this kind of role for more than say eighteen months it it may make more sense to move down market and find a full cycle sales role selling to smaller companies. Ideally with a company. That has a really a strong training and development program to help you get there then over time you can move up market which seems to be an easier path than trying to go oh from. SDR to eight year with no closing experience alternatively you may love the SDR thing and just want to become a specialist. I think that's super super valuable. And I'll talk about professionalizing. The role in the leadership advice section look for companies. That are taking that kind of approach and are properly compensating their strongest. STR's at the end of the day you have to take ownership of your own development and your own career path. Hopefully you can turn your boss us and your leadership into a mentor and an advocate. But don't stop there find mentors outside of your company who can also guide you and open doors awards for you for the sales leaders. I hope you'll seriously consider how you're treating these individuals and what type of culture and reputation you're creating looking at the turnover in your SDR. Ranks will likely serve as a really strong barometer. Do you have a well defined career progression along with written expectations explaining what's expected from an achievement end development perspective for an entry level. SDR to move into an e type of role Over time or if you're not at that kind of size or scale are you at least being honest in your interviewing process and setting expectations. Or what these. He's fresh new sales. Professionals can realistically expect. I think the biggest challenge here is helping someone take the leap a great. SDR is still still going to need to develop a ton of new skills to run a complete sale cycle and will probably have a longer than normal ramp and require more coaching. Then someone with previous experience it can be hard to turn off a strong pipeline producer and put them into a role where it might be six months or more or before. They're fully productive. That's why I think we also need to look at professionalizing the role. We've got to recognize that there's a ton of value in high performing. Sdr Dr that might be generating two or even three times. The pipeline than they're peers are. Doesn't that person deserve to be compensated. Comparably to a typical typical a e. What do you think? Do you agree with me. Maybe you vehemently disagreed. I encourage you to check out the conversation. I had with therapy prey on on his inside inside sales podcast. That episode will be released this evening and as soon as it's available all included linked to it over at daily sales dot dot tips forward slash. Three seventy two then. Let's move the conversation to link tin. I'm going to create a post there. And we'll have a link to that post at daily sales dot tips forward slash. Three seventy two as well. Sales is an amazing profession. Everyone in it should have an opportunity to grow develop and be successful in their career. If they're willing to do the work. I hope you agree. Thanks for listening and be sure to come back tomorrow for another great sales tip.
3 Tips To Leverage Global Wellness Day...moving forward #557
"Here's my three tips for leveraging the global wellness day moving forward. Okay. So the global wellness day has come and gone again eight year. I think this year and this thing starting to get a bit of momentum. So what I think you should be doing. Now is thinking about what you need to do moving forward. And I wanna look at it on three different levels. I from the consumer the gift level second from you'll boss'll the management level and then third in terms of medium PR. So let's take them one by one, first of all in terms of the guests or consumers. The very first thing you should be doing is reaching out to those people that participated in some of your global wellness day events and activities and just keep them in your ecosystem because you've got the mean now and it doesn't necessarily need to be a hard sell, so you can certainly keep them up to date on packages and offers and promotions that you've got. But I would be focusing more on trying to feed the more wellness typing formation, whenever these new research, or new report, come out, just send them that information so that you become. The go-to source the expert if you like in the field of wellness, for them second thing to look at from the bosses perspective, stop thinking about what you wanna do next year and planning for it, because most of us will be coming into budget time over the next few months, and what you need to think about now is what activities you wanna do next year and what sort of cost you wanna put in the budget for it this year? So that you've got the money to spend, and you don't have to go big and pleading for some of the marketing PR department's budget, and one of the great things, I think, to help convince your boss oil management, all of our higher ups of the value of global wellness day is start collecting all of the media that's out, Dave. It's fresh and relevant right now in your local area or doesn't even necessarily need to be your local area. I guess just that's relevant to you. So if there was some coverage of a global wellness Dave vent in another country. But it focused on yoga new lot of yoga, you can use that as. Confirmation. If you local proof, or evidence to the boss, that this makes sense if we do this. Right. Next year we put enough money now budget. We actually put a bit of an activity together, we get the local media involved. We get international stage involved all of a sudden, now it's probably a much easier sell when it comes budget on and the third thing to think about which sort of comes off that a little bit is the idea of the media in PR again. Take a look at all the media coverage in the PR coverage that's happened. That's relevant to you not necessarily your local geographic area, but the relevant to you like the yogurt sample, and then what you wanna do is over time, start reaching out to those media outlets those PR companies, those magazines the websites and stopped to become friendly with McGee them in your ecosystem, like doing with the guests and the consumers because these people have shown an interest in wellness now in a couple of months time when you run a yogurt tip. Or when you run a fun run or an activity that is related to wellness. There's a good chance that they will be interested to hear about it because they've already shown an interest, and you can guarantee that in a couple of months time, the global wellness. They went beginning a lot of coverage, but those outlets those media people. They're looking for more stories like these, they've proven that and so they, they're worth while now becoming friends with starting to build those relationships. So there's just a few things that I think you should be doing now to start leveraging global wellness day tomorrow. And of course, maybe wellness is a movement. Not an industry, which is something I spoke about backing it besides sixty this show in fact long before that and Cup the bit of flight for the time. So it's kind of interesting to me. I'm looking forward to seeing how this global wellness day movement continues or that's thanks for tuning in. We'll be back again tomorrow. It's a. Yeah.
Ask Amy - How Can I Get My Child to Do More for Herself?
"The welcome to ask amy from what fresh hell laughing in the face of motherhood solving the parenting question of the weeks. You don't have to. This week's question is from Brittany. WHO Says I have three kids. Twelve eight and four my struggles right now are with my eight year old. She's extremely codependent. And I feel like she's unwilling to learn how to do anything on her own. I tell her to folder laundry and put it away and she cries and says she doesn't know how even even though I have shown her multiple times we get up in the morning. She's always the last one ready because she will wait around for me to pick out her clothes. Brush her hair and met a loss of what to do. Because I don't give in and do whatever it is. This child of mine thinks she cannot do. Then I lose my temper and Dragon. Mom comes out and once this happens. Every Wednesday is ruined my other two children and are reasonably capable for their ages but when they do need a little extra help my patience has already been used up on this sweet middle child of mine. How do I fix this monster that has been and created Brittany. This is a trap that I think most MOMS of more than one kid fall into at one time or another of having differing fring expectations for our kids that get sort of codified without our realizing it when my dog marshmallow needs walking. I know which kids am. I family will just do it. And which kid and my family will give me a whole floor. Show of reasons why they can't possibly do that right now. And it's exhausting so I will usually ask the kids who are more willing to do it but of course accommodating. That just perpetuates the problem. The first thing I want to tell you is that the worst thing that happens in this situation I noticed. You didn't say what your kid will do in these situations if you say no you say then. I lose my temper. Burn the night yell and then it ruins everybody's Day. We know that like yelling isn't so terrible but the problem is then the question becomes wise mom yelling in writing this middle child's takeaways. My mother is so unreasonable. which is everyone's favourite subject changer and then? ps she still hasn't done what you wanted to do. So so I'm gonNA suggest natural consequences. Where possible can she. Where wrinkled clothes. If she doesn't put them away. Kenner conor closed go back to a room. Unfolded can hurt. TV or screen. Only go on once. Somebody has full did her clothes. Can the fund busta soccer practice. Leave without her or the with their hair not brushed or without her. Hadn't which you need then you'll have to explain to the coach that she doesn't have the red sox today and then no no yelling by year. Remember you be doing this. And stead overall the worst things. That seem to be happening are that she has a blow up or you do or both so. I want to say that when you change the rules and have the natural consequence be the rule. The first thing that will probably happen is a turn up in volume hume from her. She's not immediately. Say Oh okay. I guess there are new rules. Now she's GonNa be like this is this is how it goes. I yell the new yellow venue for my a closed for school. You have to withstand that. But eventually she will get there when you take away the attention even the negative. Give attention for the neediness. Another thing you could try is a positive consequence when she does things independently catch them and if she's she's not doing things independently then reward the kids who are doing things independently in her presence. Let them get something that they want. Like a board game. I'm with you or a slightly later. bed-time some new version of independence when they earn it and let her know that she can also earn that independence. When she's ready the most important thing you have to do is stand outside her storm. A little bit. She wants you to brush her hair. You're not GONNA do it. She doesn't like VAT that you can stand outside that a little bit. You can pull up a video on youtube. That shows you how to full clothes and walk away. Don't feed the fire so to speak. Give her the attention and the time when she's not wanting for it and that's something that's really hard to do. I think we forget to give these kids. Who clearly need. Oh you need your attention. They're just seeking at in unmovable ways. Shall we say it's really helpful when you can give a kid. Who's he's really seeking your attention positive attention when they're not doing the stuff it's just sometimes hard to catch those moments like. Are you going to give her a ticker tape parade. Because she's sitting nicely sleep on the couch. No but you can sit next to her. You Talk to her. Give her positive attention. When her behavior merits it reward her independence. Or if necessary dot her siblings. I think she'll eventually notice. Little natural consequences won't hurt. And if you yell sometimes just give yourself grace and try again since your parenting questions. We might answer yours next. Email US questions at what fresh hell. PODCAST DOT COM. Thanks for listening
Footnotes: My Dad Wrote A Porno Too
"Hello and welcome to my dad wrote a porno the footnotes now we've got a very very special guest this week I've known her my entire life uh-huh it was a character piece what was it about ladies was about to cleaners w.h smits into national identity is that what it's called where you get to choose your own sweet little buffet of sweets individually in via wait the questions about Jamie too good so maybe we should just you know the elephant in the room is of course foul Harris She's an elephant my friend out with people writing plays she was one of the people to we wrote a Panta once an entire Panther Jamie cast the whole thing from our friends around and so we played the to clean we were horace and match magic eight and it was basically about us and the people who worked in show up and they're kind of daily trials relation why of alley no picnics is a great one at play it actually won the won uh-huh 'cause Jamie painted a picture of the friends being fifty sixty seventy plus no between the ages of note Tannin Fifteen fifteen oh you auditioned children invited serious play Cole Fine but you invited children into your cellar weren't our mentors eight year old has mental sorry can I just quick to go back the auditions in the cellar so you wrote Shit how could we call you Miss Flintstone Song addressed anything goes these days well I have loads of questions about rocky s you got Jamie's passed in the theater so Jamie told us a few weeks ago that basically throughout his childhood he spent his Saturday nights not not don't just quick devote so you'd audition and then you give them parts and then to go on to be a production we did you select little skits and plays for momentum but I guess you guys honestly my family would dazzled sponge work these days the top seller plays of the air and it was very highly influenced by Victoria Wood's designate is stays now you said nights they said that's how you backstage at the ultra them what was it is the club that is now the little bit just I five there were the people in the clear to people like Mike and John and Vicky Lane and people those people but they weren't offering these obsessed with our friends frankly I was really annoyed because I'm the first born here was I sent them on so it's your inheritance it was the manuscript the boy started where you really surprised like you know what we thought like I was not surprised when I found out how hilarious it wasn't how brilliantly sort of naive it has the stamp of Dad yeah well I I had to pull daniels magic sat and I used to like learn the tricks from that and then I'd gather the family random perform the tricks was where lots of small sponges became a big spunk Ah browns put it aside doesn't a in the like more full him David Blaine could get an a giant glass Q. All I could make a massive sponge outside the fifteen million children as the seller after we'd won the award for the best play was the the comedy this pick and mix talk about me we're talking about Dad and and how dad's newfound career was kind of impacted the Flintstone family you talk about so much all those little details with me drink the furniture and items like that it's very bad but it's also I think it's a bit glorious I think it's pretty pride themselves on not being remotely a sexist family quite frankly I beg to differ as to the books a little so why did you send it to me over you very true very true when you think back to your childhood with Jamie on the others and the other girls what's the biggest rocky moment oh okay so let's take it back a bit so what was your reaction Alexa when you first heard about you'd when did you first hear about it for a start and how did you react was surprise Oh huge surprise and it was some sort of weird honorary field you know demonstration of love because I think he would have thought that you'd understand but were you surprised because we've met your dad before like this wonderful time in your life I mean why shouldn't everyone do that I mean I in various forums whatever whatever the medium is that they choose everybody needs to Limestone Hill essentially and because we've been through the Ford before the caravan comes disattached been clunk too much also children from age fifteen or Twenty Berry Fe oh no dad we call it pornography at this stage I don't know I mean he could have written picking mix too but no Belinda bling stand done he's nothing but an original it was it was very kind of Ken Loach Michael Yeah Sounds it yeah zinc sorry additions in the south well you you definitely did we've talked before with Bravo we had a rudimentary keyboard. I mean you can use that to advance jacket that but I'm not gonNA play itself lovely and Jones use abuse before Ed repetitions of the same song on it Oh yes what else would happen another day with one of my favorite stories is when we had a caravan attached to the car so you've got four children you can call Voire he's GonNa wind up much I mean the constant right I mean so many you say I'm bamboozled with options so this is just part of a campaign of China and obviously our wonderful man wilmer in the front and the caravans attached and it's all fine apart from dad decides that he wants to take the scenic route the legend and that's what I think I just realized he's wonderful and I just laughed my head off and ever since then you've got embrace it about rocky push again food out of his pocket and starts to try bed and the press my teenage friends and I just remember thinking do I go mortified or all my friends were killing themselves laughing the you know we were not in the Nice sitting room so Jealous Group of Gals and guys and avenue and I said we walk past document obviously dyed absolutely blasted I think actually know how they were put to the side they were on the verge one little girls sorry about but they were put to the side because that was dangerous the Ford things midnight midnight on lots of children I think I was about sixty or so everyone's younger than me and this is this is a got so many children because if you get into predicaments you're gonNA you're gonNA need -solutely but it's literally the Flintstones as well lived Joe Horry dishes in the cellar anybody let's see your friends in the nearby regions how old were the it being teenagers one I was glad to have sort of mini not quite a house party but a group of people rounded we're all very drunken it must've been about two or three in the morning at barral they came back and we were in and what does everyone think so proud and that's why we're back ship that's momentum I know it's not to say that but honestly I feel so so proud so proud of my dad just being such a mental list to sit down and do it in the first and so proud of Jamie and you know always been which is a very upmarket shopping this station we shop picnics and they were famous for that was because they were famous for their picnic stalled we're going up this limestone hill basically in rural France with a caravan remote and was like I don't think this is sensible because the water's been high we had Ashim she likes she won't listen to this you don't have an Oscar sorry now yeah so she stat just let into Your Life Spoon family holidays as well Jamie's always told us about how he used to burn CDs with just twenty version twenty of youngsters it's late at night and your car will the caravanners the Cambodian the Carnival a caravan with a vehicle moving not allowed because driving the brakes on we have to run up Google flip flops on it's the summer in France it's been raining it's all slippery we ought to try and push a number limestone ill how in some footnotes but she doesn't listen to the content because that's not what it's about fire she's very proud of that so so proud of Jamie and as you think we do it helps it's in my mom because my dad wouldn't be wouldn't be allowed to be my dad without my mom's support and raise gotta talk wilmer discovery there were moments though at the beginning Theo how old is this band of mechanic sixteen I avenue and everyone's down from that so why is yeah what's the youngest like eight seven they'll suffer really manages anybody they are a partnership they are gio and there are moments when it might appear that one person is kind of cooperating it'll be about that because they wanted to do something else but essentially is at this point or poor woman I mean you can all empathize around this table well the thing with that is they are an extraordinary partnership and that's what they are no one I sleep tonight you probably not Carolina limestone him but could you say we did push it up the hill and we continue Donald Journey for the next four hours it was in vain I mean that's why the office and he comes in Nagoya everyone I'm Eureka he pulled right where she was like I don't think so not having she doesn't listen no offense that Jamie and she doesn't she doesn't want to ruin a marriage this Thomson yes Noticed from real life is stuff you life oh my God that's from that certainly his travel around the world certainly his fascination my dad is such a people person it's not lovely poetry show they do she calls it Jamie show does she said some a friend because I find like this rattus that was the same thing I've money acted out diarrhea in the word is g on holidays and Munson Oh we're just going to be seeing a bit of Jamie show very euphemistic aside my aunt has got special friend because I used to work out there honestly I who you anything you imagine no one is the actual situation that you get brilliant story ask and what's their relationship like like because she kind of none of your business thank you managed him doesn't she she's almost become rookie flintstones manager stuff yes some of the anatomical details perhaps some of the sexy stuff especially when it's just a bit gross as we all know but also that I find that more hilarious but I'm also a bit like on bless you your nearly poker absolutely all that so so what do you what the family of one of the wider family as the representative for the family right now Sir Jimmy he can talk to US Jamie mentioned he can get anyone in any language he's extraordinary he has this wonderful Bonami uses it and everyone's like is great and I've been to Brazil with the book which have particularly made you uncomfortable as offspring of rocky flintstone occasionally yes I surely the sexy Samaya restroom is Scott lives but not the little girls like all be like tired eclipse on person the cower the sort of moment but he doesn't and also can I just say I think her tits unlike pomegranates is a bloody great simulate actually since since the early days loads of people eh just having a wonderful and I found dancing to dire straits just flinging themselves around in incredible sky spangled with stars with all these everyone back to a little bit it's not by some of this would be I would say frowned upon competitions for citing the scriptures just dancing and laughing and just wonderful they are party people aren't they are they really does rookie talk about the books on the podcast quite a lot these days or is he having my pushed his lips up was doing the teeth was doing the claws at the face finally met with scuttling along with his fingers along the counter to try and get this product of the word yeah it's literally like Jack here all the pointing Nevelson vomiting was the same time repeats he needed to get some kind of rat traps rat poison awesome thing all right to come and he did this whole Sherard it was ashamed and has no manager met rocky does not really any manage so if you've listened to a lot just before is there anything that you put him and his brother resourceful by heart could he still to this day no he's he's he's lost faith I think the faith I've lost him pointed out that it's another tax like how they are the juice of fruit to think about Adam and eve and the apple the forbidden while he was coming up this revision mocking pretending to listen to you face but he did actually listened blessed because I think he can get so excited about things and that's the whole point about his effervescence and his enthusiasm for life which family do that was a particularly horrible one you listen to wonderful brother of mine and so proud of what is achievements Donald Blah but it's not what I would say is what I have to say it's a huge testament away man was in his watching him listen to it is brilliant yeah when I got back and play at the Lynn episode he was literally we know this crazy things yes I need so proud of all of you and he loves you know the first time he played me at the podcast I was in stay with mom and dad a- and so close so close is in the right area geographically sometimes and he's got the sort of these trying for the mood is trying announcing off the walls he was so excited I mean he was writing more songs but I've never seen him listen to an episode door because that's the thing we get asked most like how does the medallions because my parents but
Spotlight: Buy GOLD and Hold STOCKS? What to Watch for Now
"The price of gold has been nearing an eight year high when the yellow metal goes up, that's usually not good news for stocks. Stocks took a hit on Wednesday only came back a little bit on Thursday. So what lies ahead? I'm Steve Forbes and this is what's ahead. We give you the insights. You need to navigate this ever turbulent world while the stock market's had a great run from it slows in March now it seems to be in pause mode. What is holding it back? Uncertainty stockmarkets tried to anticipate the future and right now clouds arising up one big one of course is the Reisen Corona virus cases coming out of places like Texas and Florida. This does not mean a new lockdown, but it could meet. Meet speed bumps in terms of recovery in the economy, opening it up another big cloud on the horizon that has not been fully appreciated is what's going to happen with the election? What kind of economy will we have in January? We have an environment that is conducive to lowering taxes, lowering burdens on individuals and businesses, or will it be the opposite? Markets are uncertain on that. Of course, another factor in the stock market will be what will be a new stimulus bill. I think even. Even though they'll be a lot of spending, it'll do more good than harm. That'll be good for stocks, but not good enough to get the market to real new highs, so in terms of the stock market itself. You should probably stay on the sideline. You don't have to rush in and put in new money. Let's digest these uncertainties and make sure these clouds don't turn into storms as for gold itself. You should always have some in your portfolio just as an insurance policy so for. For your retirement plans, keep making those monthly or quarterly or annual payments. You'll do well over time. Try to a market timer, but for the stock market itself expect turbulence. We've had a fantastic comeback from what happened in March. However, that's anticipating a lot of good news ahead. The economy will eventually fully recover, but it's all going to depend on getting barriers out of the way, and when we get those berries out of the way, good things will happen, but will we get those barriers? That remains the big question. I'm Steve Forbes. Thank you so much for listening to send in your comment I. Look Forward to speaking with you soon again.
Love Sounds With Martha Saunders: How I Learned To Love Valentines Day After A Nude Man In A Diaper Killed My Father With A Bow And Arrow
"The low topical listeners. Today is Valentine's Day and since I have nothing to offer on the matters of love and romance we WanNa play for you a special bonus episode of another OPR. Podcast love sounds with Martha Saunders joined Saunders as she explores the world of twenty-first-century Romance and answers listeners. Questions about sex love and a lot of other topics. You'd probably prefer to keep private and joy. The topical is presented by cash APP. The number one finance APP in the APP store and while it's not technically a dating APP if you do happen to meet someone while transferring money. There's no harm and seeing where things go. Download cache APP today and get ten dollars when you sign up using Promo Code. Topical and let the sparks fly from the onion and onion public radio. This is love sounds. I'm your host Martha Saunders. Valentine's Day it can be a joyous occasion for many people for others. It's a painful reminder of memories they'd rather not relive but within that pain. We can often find a glimmer of hope. Sparkling like a diamond ring. Hope is what happened to Aaron Mercer. Who will be reading a heartfelt first person essay titled the Child's? We hope it will make you cry. There have been times in my life that I thought I can't make it through another Valentine's Day it's too hard being reminded of what I lost year after year. With a little help I did it. I managed to love Valentine's Day again years after a nude man in a diaper killed. My father with a bow and Arrow. Don't think people understand what it feels like to walk around on Valentine's Day in my shoes. Images of Cupid are everywhere. The chair wearing a diaper launching his arrows and making couples fall in love. People think it's sweet but when I see the god of love all I can picture. Is My father bleeding out on the sidewalk. Years ago after the man wearing only an adult diaper and filthy running. She was fired an Arrow right through his chest. Every Valentine's Day was like watching him get murdered by that diaper man. All over again happened when I was just a little girl. It was outside a restaurant of course so the fact that Valentine's dinners are usually in restaurants has been another problem for me and the naked man came out of nowhere wielding his bow running down the street screaming. And I'll never forget it. I will always love you. I had a date wants who played that song and Rian from his apartment in tears every year by mid January I would start to get a glimpse of the horrors awaiting it would be in the convenience store looking for rubber bands or sponges. In theor- They'd be lining the greeting card. I'll pictures of my father's killer smiling at me. Taunting me the way that man with the blood-stained adult diaper and filthy new balance. Running shoes did that day. Leering at me as mayhem urging father bag that man not to shoot anyone else. I would get so upset. I'd find myself shaking in the hallmark dialing nine one one about to call the police. Unavailing Teens Day card may relationships have suffered for a long time. I would avoid even being in a relationship on Valentine's Day or I'd say let's have a quiet night in but my date would bring over a box of chocolates. And they're that type were wearing chair would be waiting to ruin my day. Just like the diaper man ruined my life. One year I had gone on a few dates with a guy and things were going well but then Valentine's Day rolled around. I hadn't told him yet about what had happened to my father. I didn't want to. I really liked him and I thought I would be okay. He had a sense of humor and like to do these little stunts so when he came to pick me up he opened up his jacket and said surprise he had dressed up as cupid. I still get waves of sadness when I remember how I felt. In that moment he just meant it as a bit of fun but I got so distraught. I basically blacked out when I came to. I was screaming and smacking him with a dozen roses. Things were never the same after that. How could I make people understand that? All Valentine's Day meant to me was holding my father's hand at the hospital as the life drained from his is then being informed that the man in the diaper had gotten away his bow and Arrow nowhere to be found but in time I persevered. I learned to cope with the help of my therapist. I eventually stopped blaming myself for not jumping in front of that. Arrow I underwent extensive exposure therapy to dissociate the image of Cupid. With the diaper. Who killed my father on that terrible February day? Now when I see Cupid I just have to say to myself. This is not the man who killed my father. This is the God of love not a groom covered man with crazy is who swept my mother out of the way with his crossbow before blowing a kiss and killing my father they are not the same because ultimately. I know my dad wouldn't want me to suffer forever. He'd want me to go out there and go on dates and find happiness. Not Continue to relive the sheer terror of trying to get the nude man to stop trying to yank his era out of my father's chest using my father's body for leverage then go skipping down the street with his bow yelling about how love hurts his saddened diapers slipping past the crack of his ass. His dirty new balance sneakers flapping in the wind is Valentine's Day my favorite holiday now. No it's not but I've made my peace with it and I feel safer now also. I bought a gun. Thank God for guns. That makes me feel safe to thank you. We want to think Erin for sharing her story and reminding us that. Valentine's Day means something different to everyone. Thank you for listening to love. Sounds if you enjoy today's episode. You can penetrate our subscription button wherever you get your podcasts and join us next week for story of passion and recognition. We'll talk with a couple. Who ended their eight-year long relationship after realizing they were better off a siblings until next time. I'm Martha Saunders Have Happy Valentine's Day.
Nairas 1-yr Currency Forward Posts Biggest Fall in Over 10 Years
"You're listening to the news at this hour on Africa Business Radio Nigeria one year currency forward posted. Its biggest fall in more than ten years and Monday and stocks fell to an eight-year low after the Central Bank of just an iris official rate the currency Nigeria which relies on oil sales for ninety percents of foreign exchange have suffered since crude prices plunged following a slide in global demand. Central Bank Governor Godwin and Mayfield said in his tweets. That's the currency move was a price adjustment not a devaluation. The Nyerere's one year forward price which gives an indication of where the currency could trade in the estime filled eleven point three percents against the dollar and that was the news. At this time on Africa Business Radio you can continue to listen life online at. Www Dot Africa business radio DOT COM or via a mobile APP. Thank you for listening.
J.LO and Shakiras Super Bowl Performance and Our Cultures Mixed Messages
"After a few years of the less sexualize super bowl halftime performances. This year's once again sent a host of mixed messages especially to women and kids for the Colson Center around John Stonestreet. This is breaking in two thousand thirteen. Rachel Campos Duffy. A blogger on the today show's mom site described watching beyond say. Super Super Bowl halftime performance as quote a parenting challenge. The hyper central shows half dressed. Performers had left. Her kids with quizzical looks on their faces. Her eight-year-old eight year old simply said she looks weird. Why which all of our kids were as confused by seeing something like that but unfortunately sexuality packaged as has music and performance is an all too familiar part of our culture after beyond say's version in two thousand and thirteen Campos Duffy snarky commented quote. I half expected acted a stripper pole to pop out of the platform. Well this past Sunday. That's exactly what happened. A stripper pole. This past Sunday Super Bowl halftime performance feature feature Jennifer Lopez and Shakira and was by far the raciest halftime. Show since beyond say for the last. Several years has been a notable decentralisation of not only the halftime shows but also super bowl commercials even lady Gaga was comparatively modest in her two thousand seventeen performance. It's almost as if the NFL. In its network producers got a message from Campos Duffy in the millions of MOMS. Who complained about the visual saw on their children and families well until Sunday Day? That is when the Super Bowl again became another chapter in the ongoing sexualization of American culture of women and children in the midst of our cultures is ubiquitous calls to protect kids and women from abuse and harassment. especially in this. Hashtag need to era. We pretend that as long as we call it art or female female empowerment that this sort of overt sexualization will magically have none of the consequences that we now complain about. From the beginning the sexual revolution has promised women that aggressively flaunting skin and sexuality was a means of empowerment and that divorcing sex marriage and procreation a means to freedom in in reality of course it was men that got what they wanted. Sexual pleasure without the burden of commitment or the requirement of chivalry for a brief moment a few years ago. It was almost as if that lie had been exposed. More and more women bravely coming forward revealing how they've been treated horrifically sexual objects and such but if Sunday's performance is any indication we certainly not learned our lesson. It's only women who are victims of these bad ideas years ago. British Prime Minister David Cameron appointed a special advisor on the commercialization in sexualization of childhood because quote our children are growing up in a very sexualize world. That was an understatement. Even then a far more accurate description as that. This is an out of control. Social experiment and that the Guinea pigs primarily our children in in addition to the predatory hardcore pornography that haunts their devices and online lives experimental theories about gender sexuality haunt their education and as as we saw Sunday stripper poles and outfits haunt their so called art and entertainment of course J. Lo and Shakira were a throwback to a couple of decades ago. More for the XERS and millennials than for the Gen xeres even so remember that this performance was on primetime network television and check out the lyrics of Billy Alisher. Roddy rich sure Liz. Oh to see if anything has really changed as my friend. Tom Gilson wrote years ago. On breakpoint dot. Org Ethics require that subjects of our social experimentation give informed form consent but in our culture adults force young people who have no say in the matter to go along with their fantasies theories and so called expressions of empowerment and freedom. Read them it's child abuse just as with beyond say back in two thousand thirteen. There will be progressive voices. Maybe even so called Christian ones that celebrate Sunday's performance performance as quote empowering women Latinas particularly the children in cages part but using sexuality for power is a triumph for men not for women and certainly not for children and it only leads to their objectification and victimization. After all I doubt there were very many wives watching their husbands. Watch or MOM's trying to keep their children from watching Sunday's performance that felt empowered in any way for breakpoint. I'm John Stonestreet.
163: A Small Needful Fact
"I'm tracy k smith next is the slowdown ten years ago i wrote a long tone called they may love all that he has chosen and hate all of it he has rejected exploring several hate crimes committed in the spring and summer of two thousand nine i was pregnant with my daughter and these stories wrapped to me with anxiety what was i doing bringing a child into such a violent world one of the victims by pollen mourned with stephen tyrone john's the security guard at the uss holocaust memorial museum who lost his life defending museum patrons from a gun wielding eighty eight year old white supremacist i named the perpetrator in my palm but on a subsequent visit to the museum i was impressed by the fact that it was only john's who is named and commemorated at the site there is a portrait of him on a plaque near the museum entrance his face kind smiling and somehow almost familiar reminded me that while john's was a hero he was also an ordinary person with friends and family hopes and struggles somehow that fact magnified my sense of what he had given in giving his life today's poll on a small needful fact by ross gay magnifies my sense of what eric garner lost when his life was taken as a result of police brutality in july of two thousand fourteen in staten island garner was apprehended by police officers and they did something banned by the department they put him in a chokehold video captured during the incident shows garner repeating i can't breathe eleven times garner lay on the pavement for seven minutes while officers awaited an ambulance though nine thirty pm tease northey officers attempted to perform cpr many citizens myself included believe garner's there's life was stolen gays palm move beyond the now familiar facts surrounding garner's death the fact that garner's death was deemed a homicide the fact that the court failed to indict be accused officers the fact of protests all of these things are well documented and disgust gays palm leaps to envision garner's life before he was the victim of police brutality it reminds us of a job garner once held and it speculates about something small and beautiful like working the earth that he may have once done gays palm is inactive speculation and it moves gently tentatively through and imagine scenario relevant gardeners life this is ross gays a small needful fact is that eric garner worked for some time for the parks and rec horticultural department which means perhaps that with his very large hands perhaps in all likelihood he put gently into the earth some plants which most likely some of them in all likelihood continue to grow continue to do what such plants do like house and feed small small unnecessary creatures like being pleasant to touch and smell like converting sunlight into food like making it easier for us to breeze the slowdown is a production of american public media in partnership with the poetry foundation dig it up how long delivered to you daily go to slow down
330: Girls Overheard While Assembling a Puzzle
"I'm Tracy Case Smith and this is the slowdown. Once my husband over her two women talking in a cafe one said to the other she was Gucci. All the way it was kind of disgusting that phrase whatever it might have originally been intended to mean gives us no end of delight. Sometimes I would like to have seen the woman in question other times. I am certain I would very much like to be her. The frog stays in the car. A woman repeated back to me yesterday at the elementary school. Drop off I had just said as much with an emphatic certainty to my son. As usual the frog said nothing on the number to train in nineteen ninety nine in eight year old boy shouted live off the fat of the land. He said it the same way. Men In movies shout Eureka toward the beginning of the end of our marriage. My ex stood across the room repeating a phrase. He was talking to me to the same extent that he was not talking to me. I'm your husband. Your husband. Your burden like the remembered fragments of a dream certain indelible snippets rather than nonsense. Feel like almost decypherable wisdom like a game of telephone with the Gods and just like inspiration. These fragments can't be will refuse to come when called. How long have I sat now trying to recall another few examples of phrases? I've stolen from People's lips long enough to doze off then wake again with a start. Still empty handed. It says if the angry front desk clerk of the Universe is telling me to sit tight and wait my turn or I'll be sent back to the end of the line. Maybe it's guidance. We crave a few signs to tell us what to trust. Doesn't it ever feel that way to you like we're all lost with little hope of finding where we're meant to be then? Suddenly you catch some scrap of clue. Sometimes what you mutter to yourself not fully knowing what you mean to say is the key to one of the thousand doors momentarily blocking my way. Today's poem is girls overheard while assembling puzzle by Mary. Sheba St- are you sure? This blue is the same as the blue over there. Miss Walls like the bottom of a pool. It's color I mean. I need a darker to piece this summer. The kind with elastic at the waist. So it actually fits. I can't find her hands. Where does this gold go? It's like the angels giving her a little piece of honeycomb to eat. I don't see why God doesn't just come down and kiss her himself. This is the red of that lipstick we saw at the mall. This piece of her neck could fit into the light part of the sky. I think this is a piece of water. What kind of queen you mean right here and are we supposed to believe she can suddenly talk angel? Who thought this stuff up? I wish I had a velvet bikini that flowers the color of the veins and my grandmother's hands. I wish we could walk into that garden and pick an X. Ray to float on. Yeah I do too. I'd say a Zillion yeses to anyone for that. The slowdown is a production of American public media in partnership with the Poetry Foundation to get a poem delivered to you daily. Go to slow down. Show DOT ORG and sign up for our newsletter.
264 - How To Stay Positive When It Hits The Fan
"Welcome to the marie forleo podcast audio version of my award winning show marie tv now be shorter visit marie forleo dot com slash marie tv where you'll find hundreds of other episodes thanks for listening and hey one more thing in three words changed her life oh hell yes they can andy williams whether you wanna leave a dead end job breaking addiction and learned assault the human relationship grow a business master money or solve world hunger the three words you need are wait for it and everything is figure out of all you know that little phrase changed my life and it's the title of my new book which is about the change yours preorder everything is figure out now and save that receipts because it's your ticket to and incredible online coaching experience designed to help you rewire your brain for success it's a brand new program that you could only get if you preorder the book before september tenth order your copy now at everything is bigger audible dot com hey it's marie forleo and you are watching marie tv the place to be have a business and life you love this is human to say in today's question comes from camille and camille right hi marie i've been following you for a couple of years now i absolutely love yourself i love you too gross you've been a real inspiration i think you could guess i think you've got to grow so here's my question how do you manage their mindset on days when happen how do you keep the momentum going no matter what when you get a little run down or you have some minor setback what is your secret strategies for this great question camille now i will tell you on days when the shit hits the fan it is not easy for any of us although over the years i've found there are some simple things i can do to process setbacks a healthy way in fact here are my for strategies number one i let myself melt down here's the thing on days when things happen often tech issues that are far outside of my control but i have to rely on other suspects maybe i'm just really frustrated maybe i've had a rough day maybe thing the thing i do is i need to vent i need to let it out yes sometimes i need to cry let it go my higher self knows that everything's gonna be fine and if not a life or death situation nation but the smaller part of me the more go at part of me is freaking out an i just happened let myself feel my emotions so this isn't about being a jerk are lashing out at other people but it's just being honest about what's going on so i really suggest that you let yourself feel you're feeling just be honest about it and sometimes you just gotta have a little meltdown number two i talk it out you know i either call a friend or someone on my team or i called josh and i say hey can i talk through something with you talking for me has a way of emotionally neutralized politeness situation so i can get more clear and more centered about how to move ahead number three i don't make decisions what am upset when i'm freaking out i am not a position to make wise choices but those caesar salad so i just heard of people i trust tell me what to do if they tell me the week twenty four hours before doing anything else i wait twenty four hours if they tell me that just chill out and watching game of thrones watch game of thrones and if they tell me that just take a break i take break dance break here's the thing camille i've got one more tip for you and it's a bonus tip in a very proactive what you need to to build in a show happen buffer here's the deal in life things happened nothing ever goes quite as planned things take longer things break yada yada yada in my business we build in this happens booker because anytime were launching a product or programs thinks they should so people get sick people miss deadlines nothing ever works and when you just set deadline center ashley in advance of the real deadlines you give yourself a buffer so no one half half nailed down now before we wrap this up i'm gonna leave you macho from the king of rock and roll and yes it's a treatable when things go wrong don't go with them elvis presley thank you very much camille that as my eight year q i hope it helps now i wanna hear from you how do you manager mindset when everything goes to show you build and a buffer do have other tricks that you wanna share with us as always the best stuff always happens after the episode over at marie forleo dot com to go there and leave a comment and let me know like this video subscribed and of course share it with their friends if you want even more awesome insights and resources to grow your business and your life you need the come on over and marie forleo dot com and make sure you sign up for email updates why because i sent awesome email and i say things and emails that i just don't see videos and you wanna hear it trust me stay on your game and keeps going for your dreams the world needs that
670: The Obstacle is the Way - Millie Gulley
"You're listening to the daily sales tips podcast and i'm your host scott ingram. Today's tip comes in the form of another clip from mili mili was the star of this week sale success stories podcast episode and was the top. Sdr sprinkler until she got promoted into an eight-year-old. I should also give credit to ryan holiday. Who wrote the book. The obstacle is the way which. I should really read one of these days. Because i absolutely believe that. But here's really on the topic. I think that's just shaped who i am right. And it's made me person who's like i've just got like take every obstacle head on and just by my way to get through it because there is dr times as people that are going through west in a like where is challenging and there are others too cool like you really just have to have this end goal that you get out of it and you're gonna do do bigger and better things kind of out your full site like knowing nights coming. You know. that's incredible. I mean just what you've what you've taken from that whole whole processes says a lot about you. Yeah i love supporting people that have gone through grief because like you know it's an awfully experience but it it suddenly teaches you so much about how to live your life so it's definitely matured me and i think of i think a big part of going through. That is why i really care about like showing up to my best self. I think that's the back story that right like i know that the money got like one shot at this life. I want to be like my best self from professional life to pasta life. And i think that's one stole this like carrying about me and how i am as a person and how i show up myself and other people around me has made me like successful for more about millie including linked to our full interview together. Just click over to daily sales dot tips forward slash six seventy in the us. You can now join our listener list by texting t to five five four four four. When you do you'll get access to the video of your choice from the most recent sales success summit once you've done that be sure to come back tomorrow for another great sales tip. Thanks for listening.
Should Hotels Base Spa Budgets on Rooms or Guests? #632
"Should hotels baseball budgets on ruse or guests. Tom readings from malaysia back home. In kale just arrived back and got a message today from someone linked in who asked a question about her hotel spa budgett and how she should be calculating her capture rate and of course i'm did <hes> explain how i would calculate a spycatcher right back in episode six hundred nine of the show eh but she did raise an interesting question interesting perspective which i wanted to share with you today and get your thoughts on it as well because obviously now we're about to hit. September people are starting to get ready for budget time again for next year. It happens pretty quickly so let me just read the question and a comment and then we can discuss what it all means. Basically we watched saying he is where we i have always referred back to spa budget templates that based the spa capture right off number of occupied hotel rooms james. Do you think this is the best scenario. I was thinking that perhaps i should update my template to be based off the number of total hotel guests then she asks. Have you seen this done before. And why do you think most hotels based revenue off rooms this occupant numbers and as i mentioned the episode six hundred nine of the show went on calculating capture right i always base it off the total number of guests in the hotel for the simple reason that you can't perform a service or a treatment on a room. It's going to be on a guest right and obviously december hotels have an occupancy with you might have two people per room density incident what we call density of two guests peru on average. Sometimes it's less sometimes it's one sometimes it's more you might have a triple share room perhaps and and so the number of rooms in the hotel doesn't dictate how many treatments potentially you can do the other thing of course that you need to be careful of when you're looking being at total hotel guests is that you probably want to be excluding the kids from your capture right calculations and your budget and revenue calculations unless of course you've got glad i kids menu in your spa but for most people that don't really have teed services then you want to be careful if you've got a lot of kids in your hotel and that is counting counting as a total guests count then you wanna get that number removed from your calculations because otherwise it's unrealistic to expect that you're going to sell <unk> sell a treatment to a five six seven eight year old kid because you don't have those treatments on the menu so i would like to hear your thoughts on. It and i don't actually know i understand in hotels. Thinking rooms spas thinking terms of guests so that kinda makes sense but hotels also thinking in terms of packs in the restaurant so it's interesting to me that our friend here is actually having examples where in all of her experience and she's got quite some experience she seeing hotels only base revenue budget's the the spa on occupied hotel rooms not the actual number of guests so do let me know what you think pulling episodes six hundred nine of the show where i define nine the capture rate calculations for you as well but let me know what you think and let you know. Let me know what your answer to that. Question would be alright. Thank you for tuning and i will ooh back again tomorrow.
Ask Amy - Should Grade Schoolers Be Allowed to Date?
"To today's question is from Kristen who says my eight year old has a boyfriend he or someone on his end bought her a locket necklace from target but still welcome to ask amy from what fresh hell laughing in the face of motherhood solving the parenting question of the week so you don't have support in a boys and girls can be friends kind of way but yeah I'd go to the parents as uncomfortable as it is to call parents that you don't know to be friends with this kid that there's no discomfort or unease or sense of obligation if she wants to be friends with this find that these parents were definitely on the same page as me and we're the ones that suggested the babysitter being the chaperone and that was something that worked for everybody anyway I hope that is my oldest and this wasn't an issue when I grew up girl same Kristen yes eight is definitely too young to go on dates but I way then you can have him at the park for a play date or have him over for a play date and explained that eight year old friends if that's something that your daughter wants a plate at the park you suggested that's a really good idea I think because it sort of neutral ground us again had never met the parents didn't know the kids I was like what and mentioned it to a friend of mine who had older kids at the same school and she said Oh yeah at the movies the three of them in a row my kid came home in gave me a ninety minute retelling of the events of the movie they had just seen and let me let them play together but yeah you gotTa make sure you're on the same page with the other parents. I'll tell you how this played out for me one of my kids to play together my kids at this age were definitely having play dates after school with the opposite sex. I guess I'd start with your daughter I'd make sure that she the good news is it's also definitely too young to understand what's going on a date really means it's not too old for boys and girls the necklace I would think probably talk to the parents about that just said like I feel like she's a little too young for this but I want them to be I'm not really a fan of play dates but would inviting him to the park because they're eight to be a good middle ground or should I just leave it alone please help me p. s. she that helped let us know how goes says your parenting questions you might answer years next email us questions at what fresh hell podcast dot com thanks for listening backless from your boyfriend I would say but it's not too old to be friends with the opposite sex so if your daughter is interested try to refrain that as a friendship that you can are too young to go on dates but boys and girls can definitely be friends if the feeling is mutual she shouldn't feel obligated to wear the situation call the other parents say like hi we don't really know each other so our kids think they're going on a date and I was glad we did it because in this case I was relieved athlete what happened my kid went to the movies with this kid after school in sixth grade with the babysitter like the babysitter sat with uh-huh told me that he wants to take her to the movies am I being over the top to say hell no or am I right to think they are too young to date I've never met this kid or his parents was in sixth grade so twelve not eight but still Came home told me they were going to go on a date and could they go to the movies and this was with a kid who was new in there and so that was sort of confirmation that nothing funny had happened which of course it did the babysitter was with them and that was the end of that. ps like that not only do we not date that person again. We didn't date anybody because we were twelve years old and we were more interested in dabbling with the idea of it so yes eight is too young to date eight is too young to wear had this is a thing in sixth grade for like three weeks everybody wants to go on a date and then they go out for frozen yogurt and it's over and then the novelty wears off and in our case that is.
Full Episode: Wednesday, October 16, 2019
"Good evening thanks for joining US tonight too can allies locked in a deadly clash in a part of Syria once largely spared now being ravaged by war it's a fight for control and one for survival also here the United States is allied with both sides Turkey is an important NATO member the Kurdish military has been America's most reliable American troops are leaving with the growing humanitarian crisis in that wake Sarah's devastate should family say cheese only just realized the full horror of what happened the explosion ripped off her leg for little girls no one should suffer this pain suddenly notes an eight year old child so fond of dressing up and posing for the camera it's a devastating moment even worse the blast killed her big brother Muhammad he was just in the war against Isis they've done most of the fighting and almost all of the dying but Turkey regards them as terrorists and vows to force them out of the it's three days Cinzia tillery shell exploded changing Sarah's life forever at how's she doing but this part of the country was largely sped until last week today the winds of Mora Housing Thirteen be mad about monique from a hospital bed Sara clings to a mother it's only been ten days since president trump made the sudden decision to withdraw Americans from the northern Syrian border we're just learning today that it was twenty-eight US troops holding the line between peace and war that decision opened the door for Turkey to launch a military campaign against Kurdish lights up near the border with Turkey this area could become occupied very very soon and won't be questioned whether it's you can get any more treatments a question of whether they can get Out Alive Korea two years ago I was here in Syria as Kurdish cool says make the final push to retake the city of Raga the former the cecile brother man he was injured as well he breath you want to know what the impacts of this war is that set families grieving kids torn apart while they're playing in the street an entire population street by street building by building death always just a step away moving eleven thousand Kurdish men and women died in the war one of them so's down she was killed in the nicest ambush just hours after left the grief stricken family left behind two more on a trip back this time we went in American support dare power Russia's now filling the void left by America helping the Syrian military toback the Kurds who search her family and found a high lovely to meet you thank you very much look at this bliss and the Bangle the family kept imploring can you help there's no processing Leeann there's no more treatment have no more money and the truth is will the capital of the system our fates moving forward with a five one can you take these are the flights that the US coalition is working with the footsoldiers moving up to their forward base and it was here we met sauce Dr Bauer a young leader in the white pg a mainly who we focused on but all the other young volunteers this young man was one helping run through the streets to avoid Isis Now aligning with Cheryl ads regime accused of war crimes against its own people the Jamaa anyhow it means mountain in this cemetery every single tombstone is marked the same these are the people we match not just so star it's tough to bend down my talk we're here in Syria country engulfed by name years of bloody conflict sniper fire would sauce to be thinking today about what is happening right now mm-hmm remain ooh now the White House is deflecting lane and calling for a ceasefire our soldiers are not in harm's way they shouldn't be as two countries fight over land that has nothing to do with US president trump announced sanctions against Turkey on Monday and tomorrow Vice President Mike Pence and secretary of State Mike Pompeo will meet with Turkey's presented when to broker a deal with the United States of America simply not going to tolerate Turkey's invasion of Syria any further and we're calling on Syria to stand down to end the violence and to learn Simcoe took us to so stars grave marked Shaheen come to the negotiating table but her is defiant saying he won't sign a ceasefire he's tanks these groups committing gruesome roadside executions like the death of leading Kurdish political leader have green collapse who was dragged from her car and shot them troops now crossing the border and advancing on the Syrian city of members but it's video like this some shrine to sell star that sauce was the eldest of nine children has sister Nyla a beautiful mirror image of her graphic to show that has the international community outraged Turkeys deployed radical Islamist militias some offshoots of Al Qaeda one her family's carrying on her brother Simcoe is also a leader in the wiped casket and heavy for the same rights the saint in a community that was sexually tried to revive his brother he pay took it okay twenty three times if verified this is a war crime as is the targeting of civilians the Kurdish military gave us this video fast but not everyone has the option to seek safer ground this is personal this is these are people you know these neighbors consolidated the motivation is diversity we showed them on nightline special where Szozda was our guide on the front line absorb Gilead could have a medical patient over coin any metric there are a band of best friends united as lovers spurned out for sweet revenge the first wives club Sarah's father says he wants to leave their shattered home and the neighborhood that used to be safe but there's nowhere to go and you sound so sorry of a convoy packed with people they say was hits by Turkish strike and Blyth's shredded in an instant WII friend from the BBC's just said that pulling out towards the border right now I think we need to leave the line between allies and enemies is moving dangerously recently given new life in a series with the same name with a noticeable distinction all of the leading ladies so afraid do you have a plan we don't have any plans neither does the family of that little girl in the hospital who lost her leg friends I don't get to leave exactly this is my job I will just stay here I didn't tell my parents that that here because they will as a cult classic film and it's now getting a reboot as a series with new stars giving it a fresh take here's ABC's more Gonzales and make war for nightline I m-mean panel in northern Syria the conic feminist anthem brought to the screen in the whole classic of First Wives Club got it in for younger women my my the Bulimia certainly has paid off me another searching to find her voice oh with their takes on the original film's characters played by Bette Midler Diane Keaton Goldie Hawn did you talk to any Kurdish liberty to the city women of color the first
Raising Children Well: The Non-Obvious Guide to Emotional Intelligence
"Lt Motivation now let's dig in the dish with Rebecca huff Welcome to a healthy bite your one nibble closer to a more satisfying way of life a healthier you and bite size bits of you tell me a little bit more about what you do before I talk about your book thank you so much for having me consulting other thing I really liked about your book was that you had all of these symbols for the extra resources in you have a ton of information on your easy to lose people's attention and so I think the techniques used this book with you know the bullet points in Nicole outs in website you have templates and guides into orioles videos in all kinds of stuff that go along with this book yeah and so that was kind of one holy us which I love that you included that because I think that people throw around this ecu now it's like one of the trek which I really love I love the colors that you chose the font everything in how I think with all of the technology we have nowadays it's really the H. I. N. K. and then my company name a period of Dot com right so I was sharing your book with my husband book is emotional intelligence that you can actually the big topics I guess a lot of people are talking about it but I really liked the take you have on it and I wanted to point out to another thing beyond the aesthetics of your right there's so much information on your website which is can you tell us address of your website so it's think a period dot com so really kind of a variety of clients and then I also do some individual work with with either leaders and then in my spare time I love working entrepreneurs looking at predictive factors of success oh wow that'll be interesting I hope you're planning to share some of that later on your website actually around the world so I actually do some keynotes in speak on emotional intelligence that motivation I also work as a consultant with a lot of her clients I feel like could really connect with chapter six in your book you're talking a lot about motivation and you talk about something that you call derailed doc was really intended to be digestible I'm it wasn't intended to be a textbook so it was intended to kind of be able to consume it end to be very practical so we just of it but then it's like when I asked what do you do what does it really mean that's kind of where they fall short and so I just wanted to take it and make it you know as you said the colors and then you actually said another thing about some of the myths around motivation can you talk to us a little bit about because I think eh one of the reasons I wanted to because my ankle around and I do different keynotes around the world on emotional intelligence everybody gets excited amounted knows that we need more multiple industries so I've worked in oil and gas I've worked with the Securities Exchange Commission with some NFL team so I've kind of had increase my on emotional intelligence while I think you definitely achieved it with spoke I told my husband that he could have after I was finished with it but the people in the about people trying to stay motivated and I liked your take on motivation and what you call derailed can you explain a little bit and and and people are already motivated but we have to learn how to tap into their own individual motivations and so my child's motivation may be different than my motivation whether it's you know trying to start up that business or you're trying to lose weight or whatever the thing is you wanna be motivated for I think there's a lot of talk don pods so you've probably done your fair share of work with entrepreneurs of all varieties yes yes in the factory finished a study on normally I would have been like Oh wait till the next morning and I'll tell her when she wakes up thinking no big deal but then I thought wait a minute this probably mattered and she's very introverted so it wasn't obviously being I was like okay she's motivated something very differently than I was and so I learned how to start tapping into her motivation just helped her bride I mean one people so she has a real servant's heart and it was just something small as a mom that I did she had She had apply to Bali about that so motivational and people have a misconception around motivation that you know I just need to motivate my child or I need to motivate my might see members name one is surrounded everyone with resources tools tips guide so that they can kind of figure out what do I do in my practical were all Ted Mall and since she's she has a very altruistic motivator meaning she gets energy and and and really feels alive when she feels like she can help motivated because it's not an orgy motivated because it's not being unleashed the more that you can tap into their existing motivations the more you can drive success in help people thrive and and so that's kind of self awareness is about as it's about giving yourself the freedom to choose the right response or a broker so we we are already motivated and we get that but we need to identify our derailed and then come up with a strategy for when we get derailed basically okay so do you go into I'm sorry that's okay and understanding where we're going to be triggered okay right so I mean I'm sure if you're in the workplace in you're going through this someone has hired you to do this assessment or whatever I remember one person have identified their dealers what did they do to go about creating strategies to stay kind of you know on track with her mother you know in the moment immediately you're going to run one around the other way this end we tell ourselves we're delusional tell ourselves that it'll work itself I understand I naturally have potential I had the potential to derail but when I'm aware of it now I have the freedom to choose how I respond what gets US derailed what what is that thing that causes us to be derailed in how do we how do people go about coming up with a strategy what about the second part of it is digging into what other people if I haven't seen what are they motivated by and how can I unleash their motivation because it's already there they may be feeling it's about Alex which I kind of identified with him a little bit in your book but so how do you come up with these strategies so say someone's reading your book and they vacation yeah so it's working on an time when you're not emotionally triggered so if you know that you have a certain trigger in you know let's say conflict I think we can kind of just lean into that and be vulnerable and be honest about it and we're not perfect we all have things that that takes us off track fight or flight fighter flight in the workplace or even at home on can be very subtle or it can be very it can be very amplified but either way you're going to get in here for this it was it was interesting because it was very competitive in so I got an email late at night and and was told that she had she had gotten it and and so the key is to be aware of them and so when I work with leaders one of the very first things we do is we actually look at one of their potential degray Lurs and out the reality is most people problems very very rarely worth themselves out and so I worked with them on if I know him conflict avoidance that I'm GonNa have strategy she's almost inaccurate encouraged people to write them down when I see conflict I'm going to do step on steps you step three and so then when I get in national response if it's blame shifting blaming somebody else or sticking my head into sand of voiding conflicts on there's all kinds of things that can that can throw us off tracks of the key she was over the top about like this is really important to me but I thought wait a minute this is probably more important than I realized I went up I kind of sugar and woke up and I just wanted to let you know you got this and she moments I'm not going to all of a sudden kinda freeze up in star to run and so it's just a it's almost like a script for them they don't have to in our view are kind of interesting everybody wants to talk about the positive side of our strengths or a personality and nuts rate it worked also human what are their trigger going to cost their dealers to surface that really knocked them off their course and they know that we can build strategies so that we can percents from derailing because when you get in that moment the reason it's a dealer jailers because it's really activated the emotional centers of your brain and you're likely to go the problem so it's a series of questions and my later said our conflict avoid like that because it doesn't it's not over the top I'm not asking to go in guns blazing appeared up and said mom that Mitt so much to me was just like so touched by that and I thought wow I never got to have done that had I not known tailable and I thought yes I need those I think it's definitely beneficial to have those scripts kind of in place in your mind like you said even I've had enough of this conversation and now it's time for us to just move on but you said something about the rise of blame shifting Utah is Lynn when you have an emotional trigger it actually drops your I q down to about an eight year old and it causes you to usually go into fight or flight so if I'm rick questions so I would say for anybody recognize what your dealer is the sixth most common in my book but really reflect on that and then just is a strategy I just say I just want you to be a really good investigator be lecturing homes in you're going to ask if a series of questions you know what's the purpose of this conflict wait inst- Alexander Book Angry Conflict Avoidance let's say I know I'm conflict avoided then what I do is help people start to design scripts oh I think as parents a lot of us can use those scripts and I noticed at one point you said you had some squirrel wrangling scripts the mechanics Yeah so lame shifting is is really the brain going into fight response so it's not fault it's somebody else's fault being it down and kind of knowing what you're GonNa say when this particular situation arises I think for parents that's just it's key because a lot of times the same thing as you mentioned your daughter as an example I have some things like this with my son where there's one activity that he has to do that I'm constantly he doesn't we actually don't even usually have to resolve it gets resolved by the people in Rim experiencing the conflict and so then they kind of are like okay this isn't so hard not of how you're going to deal with it when you're in the moment and that way when you're in the moment and you you can't access your the thinking part of your brain very well you just rely rely on a script the right thing to do and that's why but when we're dealing with people dynamics it's completely the wrong response we have to know that our brain is wanting to take us there Shinzo for instance my daughter I realized I use all these different psychometric tools of course I assessed and I was like oh I should have no need says I think just really WanNa do this activity and so I have to kind of coerce him to do it and he's allowed a little bit of complaining but there's always a tipping point when I'm like okay emotional intelligence does that was I mean I was like wow I can see where that would be true but how can you explain to us the kind of about blame shifting and how you just mentioned it again I had read it in your book and you talk about how shifting the blame actually blocks our Rebecca and today I am here with author Kerry go yet and carry you're not just author you do all kinds of things and I'm afraid I'll miss one so I'm GonNa last Dr Stops in the victim role why because we either don't wanNA solve a problem I don't know how to solve the problem or we feel like we don't have the power to solve the problem the brain can't tell the difference the emotional centers of our brain can't tell the difference between a physical threat whereas social rats and so it's going into fighter flight when really we need to be using the thinking Ryan seeing a lot more you know we're seeing that kind of the younger generation entering the workforce and they're just not quite as effective at solving problems now the great thing is there they learned you know we just wanted to validate their feelings invalidating their feelings is good but you can't be stuck in there we also have to teach them how to problem solve and so that's order and we're judging the other person rather than solving the problem and so that's where this dangerous paradox go nine of and so that that intention was good but I think we're a lot appearance went wrong was that we started to jump in and solve problems for them because we didn't want them to experience pain or our brain and so I just give them kind of like an algorithm or problem solving method to I ask a few questions if there's conflict and there's a problem so they I asked them to get to the root the result technical issues when we hit a problem and that's when we look in the workplace what distinguishes attack performer from a low performer. It's not like I just have to ask good questions it's really not about kind of choosing Zayed's saying like you guys just need to do this coming up at the solution it really just is asking I play a part but I also think there was a shift in the parents king model where we really wanted in our intentions were really good really wanted to protect the self esteem of our children because when you get in moment let's say you've got you know my two siblings these ear my two children are fighting that team members said are having issues I q. like our smarts were getting smarter it's gone up twenty four points of s three decades that our economy is dropping and so that's just a bit concerning flicked that's a flight response and and the problem is you know conflict you know if I'm running from a bear on being chased by a burglar than absolutely fighter flight a specially in the environment that we're in so with Chile in a lot of research you know you can say why is that tacky knows it technology and you know most researchers will yet technology what's driving so just getting at what is at the root of the conflict and inciting people down and what they find is where they just have that conversation in ask really good questions very quickly and so what we're finding they're really really quickly but we kind of have to teach how do we resolve conflict that's just people problem solving not when things are going well it's when problems hit that's what that's when the two will start to diverge and we'll see that the lower performers either give up they start blame shifting so it again the fighter flight response and the high performers with high emotional intelligence dig in our like okay the our children I mean you know I can definitely see that whole scenario you just described interactions that I've had with some of my children so advocate bad professors bad teachers bad bosses pain in life you know it's it's always great but we also know from the research that people avoiding solving the problem while that is so true and so s parents how how do you recommend that we go about teaching this sir well how do we go beyond I mean yes I do we think it's another thing that is difficult for parents nowadays because we are encouraged you validate teaching working with parents to say we have to teach our children how to be these awesome problems ours and so it really comes down to solving a problem and when I blame shift higher emotional intelligence thrive more in that they experienced less burn out a stress in doesn't mean they're not they're not facing hardships but they just handle it with him tabled what have you seen in the past how somebody else solve this problem before so now I'm teaching them to make connections like what are you saying out there that has worked for somebody else and then eventually they still can't come up with anybody I may throwing a softball I wonder if you could try this or what about this and then that usually will get them going in going and that's something that was really important to me as a Momma's to really you know I thought you know if nothing else you know my legacy is a mother I just want them to be emotionally intelligent because they're going to have or some ideas let's let's brainstorm that and so I love doing that with my kids I would sit down with them and be like okay you've got a problem let's let's sit down let's brainstorm I wouldn't even get their feelings and we're encouraged to allow them this you know I mean that's what we're here for to share to listen to these issues if they have in the we're optimistic hopeful attitude and they problem solve their way out of it I think a lot of times as parents we just want a soup in fix everything beyond that so you know again if child has is having an issue you validate their wow you're really angry or you're really sad let's talk about that and you talk about it for a little but one is hoping optimism like hope that they're candia solution out there so I think the more that we can come alongside them a code rather than solve the problem for them and say Okay Hey let's come up with some solutions what ideas you have and you can really make it positive I think is appear at one of the things you want to teach them is different kinds of sauce feels that are related to affect the problem solving instead of prompting them encouraging them to try to do the problem solving with us kind of on the sidelines as opposed to a lot of times complaints about how do we go beyond that to the next step with our kids yeah and again balloting the emotion is is a really critical piece so I certainly don't want that to go away but also doesn't feel good in the moment at times to let your kid learn a Kinda give it an example being a mom but my son you know I had back now this is a learning opportunity he chose not to be prepared he needs to kind of face the consequences of that and so I took him back to school and I mean he was mad at me he was start coming up with ideas and then my great so which one of these do you WanNa do and then they'll do it and then they'll come home and be like okay I did a great so how did it turn out at that and say I'm so glad that you really made me learn from my mistakes because he said I really notice my friends like when they get into an issue or do something wrong you just WanNa take over and only Guinness you've got a problem let me fix it so I always ask the hard questions appearance when they WanNa do that I ask is that your ah then kind of once you see them calm down a little bit now we're going to go into not want to take them from the emotional part of rain I want I want to take them to the thinking heart okay I feel good jumping in and solving a problem myself back because I loved solving problems Miami consultants otherwise I will just send it kind of almost became a game and we made it kind of fun fat and let them go I like what and then if they had a hard time coming up with anything husband he's a fixer so I think this is an area where he's definitely learning to let them experience those natural consequences the Times that I have allowed my son to have those natural consequences it has always paid off in the end so it is hard in and how painful how excruciatingly painful it can be something else that you had said it takes five positives to counteract one negative that just just be there for them walk alongside than in coach them through it that is such an excellent example I love that and I completely agree gene to solve the problem or when is there need to learn this and settle Oh 'cause sometimes it makes me for honest I will say that they do even though they get mad at you at the in the moment they arrived key learnings that they take away from those experiences and that's whereas as appearance don't take away the pain it's like gut wrenching really you know it just makes you wanNA cry and so we've been convicted and everything but the Times that I've stuck to my guns and that we can use this knowledge that it takes five positives to counteract one negative to our advantage can we cultivate a more of a new gross mindset yeah we we actually can and that's that's why I put some of the neuroscience in the book because I think I think it really helps people to understand okay when he said they don't own it and they don't do anything to fix it and I'm like wow so I think in the moment like as appearing it never feels very good in him out of school for an orthodontist appointment and he wasn't prepared for presentation he had to do and so it was like towards the end of the day but it was his very last class and and did I really need to do that in a bit you know and I will say now my son is in medical school at end he will even refer active in the brain and you talk about an hour old brain so how can we teach our brain new tricks so how is there a way brain again it's exaggerating the negative understand why our brain sole sole reason is to keep us alive its survival and so that's where at neurosis takes five positives to levels at one negative in the brain I think you know we have to understand the negative has just a bigger impact in what I call like a longer tail and so just last Ramachandran anytime we've had a negative experience like you know somebody says something mean to us or something I mean we can just remember it like so clean or anything that could be a threat then we can step back and then go to the analytical watchable part of our brain and say okay but is that accurate and what can I do to fact check that I'm just go through the natural consequences it has always been a learning experience and I feel like we've moved forward when we've done that ends up the tree and so it over exaggerated the negative thinking that it's week was a was a Predator and so if we understand that we're in our brain is hyper attentive to predators who's our brain wired right better work with it so I think it starts to make more sense to people when they have a good sense of of the brain and so knowing that aw and you know sometimes it's going to turn out well and sometimes it won't that didn't work great so what have we learned about that and then we go okay so then what else could we try and so we just kind of keep that really wanted jump problem the other thing to be aware of with neurons is and I just want to offer some encouragement on this that it planning a party because he was getting married he just completely over exaggerated the negative so the worst thing we can do we experienced that negative is just to let it I will do that an authentic experience it offset all that really hurts that felt very negative immediately go to okay but now look when I experienced a negative I can say oh look at that I can label it I experienced the negative end Whoa I've probably over exaggerated the negatives and so that's where early but if somebody you know on the street like bias and said Oh I love your shirt you know we may remember her a little while but but we're naturally gonNA forget that and so I think it's really helpful always question you know your decisions are responded but I would save in fast forward a little bit and you don't get the benefit because I'm an older kid that I've gotten to see that with but when we bring in another human and say hey here's what I'm experiencing where am I wrong in this or challenged me on this it you know we get support and then we also get a little under somebody that's willing to be really honest with you this just happened what do you think because there's not an emotional component for them so they can look more objectively up at it differently and I think the other pieces a big component of emotional intelligence is perspective taking so one of the other strategies you can do is say hey you know talk to your best friend I was like Oh just take me home like I'm not ready I need another day and you know part of me as a mom I thought okay what's the big deal I mean already pull them out when be any big deal to keep Hong and what can I do to validate whether or not negative is truly a negative and so that's where I you know again I get people in problem solving mode and saying okay you experienced that as a negative let's is it and ruminate we tend to ruminate about it but if we can again it goes back to problem solving what can I do about it is there something I can solve can I can I dig in invalidate whether or not that's truly as negative is what I'm perceiving and when you go to action whether you're trying to put your kids to come up with solutions and drive them to actions or you experience not just someone who's trying to make you feel better but someone who's willing to offer you constructive criticism when necessary I think that can also play a part in it think about it just makes us feel better we actually feel a sense of I've got some control over this and so I think we feel like we have control we almost start to it's a real negative emotion and then you go into the action of validate that what it does is it kind of gives you a sense of purpose and that action kind of that mode of action I'm going to do some it's an serves two purposes one they can give you a different perspective to it Kinda just provide some support that we as human beings just need we need that human connections if that's accurate go go validate that let's go see so in the book I talked about again in actual thing that happened in employees with sure he was in the year halted by getting a bad grade and I don't like you right now mom I remember he walked out the door and I dislike questioned myself like okay more accuracy we get another data point right and it's it's good if you have a friend or someone in your life who can do that truthfully you
NPR News: 07-08-2019 9PM ET
"Support for this podcast and the following message come from frame bridge they make custom framing easy end affordable frame you're art in photos at frame bridge dot com or visit their new stores located on fourteenth street in bethesda row get fifteen percent off you're first frame bridge order with code npr live from npr news in washington i'm louise schiavone millionaire finance ear jeffrey epstein faces charges of sex trafficking and conspiracy in new york prosecutors tutors say the this weekend following epsteins arrest they found a trove of nude photographs of what appeared to be under age girls while executing a search warrant at his manhattan mansion jeff berman you us attorney for the southern district of new york spoke to reporters combating sex trafficking and exploitation of children is a priority for this office for the department of justice says the sexual abuse of a minor can have devastating effects on victims often lasting for years epstein is being held in federal lockup forecasters say the federal government may run out of money to pay its bills in early september unless congress acts to raise the debt limit before that npr's scott horsely reports that is in earlier deadline lawmakers were expecting lawmakers thought they had until at least early october the cut a deal the raise the debt ceiling but forecasters when the bipartisan policy center now say crunch time could come sooner as early as the first half of september that up the pressure on congress which is scheduled to be in recess for most of the month of august it's possible the federal government could still limp along till october but money is flowing out of the treasury faster than tax revenues are coming in corporate tax revenues in particular tickets are falling short of expectations corporate taxes to the first eight months of the fiscal year were down nearly nine percent from the previous year after lawmakers slashed the corporate tax rate scott horsely npr news washington president trump says he plans to hold another expanded fourth of july celebration next year npr's claudia great salads reports that the comments came the same day that democratic lawmakers called for a federal probe into the event president donald trump called salute to america tremendous success and said it will happen again next year on thursday trump gave in addressing the lincoln memorial with military flyovers in tanks on display today democrats on the senate appropriations committee called for the government accountability office to pro how much that event will cost taxpayers democratic senator tom udall of new mexico patrick layhee of vermont and chris van holland of maryland want the geo to investigate whether trump's event complied with restrictions on taxpayer they're funded politically activity video producer traumatic event was later shared by the white house and the trump campaign quality saw this npr news washington longshot democratic presidential hopeful eric's wall well is battling going out of his party's crowded primary contest the thirty eight year old congressman from california says he will return to the house and then run for reelection on wall street at the close the dow fell one hundred fifteen points the nasdaq dropped sixty t three points this is npr news washington a study published in the journal nature plants shows that plants genetically engineered to turn out useful enzymes grow well under field conditions which is important for large scale production as christine herman from member station w i l l reports the method could help lower the cost of making vaccines and proteins for medical end industrial applications scientists from the university diversity of illinois and cornell in new york genetically modified tobacco plans to produce the bacterial enzymes sally's which is used to make bio fuels coal eat author justin mcgrath says the plans ability to grow in fields in illinois is not affected did by the genetic tweaking modifying the dna in the clerk last instead of the nucleus they make sure the foreign jeans can't get out into nature journal core class appalling and so even if there were a flower the polling wouldn't let between salt and other so more next steps include isolating the silliest from the plant sleeves and extending this method to try to create other valuable enzymes for npr news i'm christine herman do you as women's national team is home after their world cup championship