35 Burst results for "Dr Phil"
Top 15 ideas for an equitable economy
"I'm pleased today to be joined by dr phil jackson of new profits. She's one of the managing partners. Enchila- thank you so much for being with us ramona. Thank you for having us especially on this exciting day where we're finally announcing the fifteen solutions for the grand challenge. I am so glad we could talk about this today. Because we've been we've talked about this in the past as you were taking in the applications for this so for those in the audience who don't know what the grand challenges when you tell us. Kind of broadly. What it is and then we can talk about. Who's some of the people have been selected to the future burton grand challenges partnered by new profit in partnership with x prize foundation. Mit solve and j f f. And what we're doing is we're giving finalist access to six million dollars. In funding to implement solutions that will rapidly reskill twenty five thousand workers into higher wage jobs and it quip influential workforce boards with vetted tools to help get americans back to work in why this is so important as that many times philanthropy. We actually give grants based on ideas. These grants are going to be given based on outcomes so it's really going to be down to how many people were trained and how many people were placed in jobs with living wages. What were you looking for as you're looking for the organizations the groups to go forward in this competition so yet so even before cova working on this initiative for two years and really what we senator around were were adults busy people who are in need of upskilling but who can't take the opportunity cost to take off a year or go back to get a four year degree so we know going into this that we were looking for accelerated learning programs and also programs that would allow a learner or a worker to earn while they learn. We know that you know people. We think. A lot about the fifty six million. Us residents who are are working minimum. Wage jobs you know less than living wage jobs that they need opportunities to to skill up in a fashion that works for their complex and busy lives and so we really wanted these entrepreneurs to be willing to center the experience of these learners right and to create solutions that will work alongside their busy lives. We talk a lot about trying to upskill four jobs now. Actually and jobs of the future are each of the program. Said are in your rapid reskilling. Are they ernest. You learn absolutely in the way that we're thinking about it. There's two things one is like you said ramona. The future of work has become the president of work right so a lot of things that we thought were going to happen. Happened in cove. It industries went away that we thought were recession proof. And so what we've tried to do with all of these trainings. Is that one is their offered free of charge to the job seekers. And we're asking about preneurs a train for jobs that will not be impacted in the future works of thinking in the next three to five years and where people can leave the short term training and actually get a job with a living wage in so those are the parameters that we looked at. And we want to make sure that these trainings were geared towards people. Don't have a bachelor's degree and have other barriers employment. There are fifteen different organizations. That will be part of the solution. They're a combination of rapid reskilling. An mit sauce. And so we're looking at the fifteen solutions of the cohort that. We're validating at workforce boards. They just came to us from different challenges. There's a couple that. I'm just really excited about the first. Is this company. That's called charger help. And what's so interesting about that. One is that they are training people to be technicians into service electric car charging stations. What's interesting to me about. The idea is one is who knew that that was a job. You know. I didn't in to who knew that you could do that type of job and not have a bachelors degree so in a sixteen week program. They're able to train someone to do this job and they can go and make upwards of hundred and fifty dollars an hour but the company itself charged for help actually pays their employees up to fifty dollars an hour but they're giving them this training. That has a great market potential. And so that's one example. Another example that we're really excited about is generations. Usa there are national nonprofit ner actually international in many ways but they're allowing people to on the job while they're like learning a new trade and they do everything from building trades to manufacturing to data to technology while they're getting the technical training they're also giving them the wraparound supports of that professional training. And what some might call soft skills but are you know really important professional skills if we're going to actually obtain a job. They're getting paid while they do it. They're tuning to like the wraparound supports. A worker might need so in terms of transportation and childcare and they are promised a job on the other end of it and so as a learner. When you're thinking about that opportunity cost of taking you know sixteen weeks or three months off to learn. You're getting some upside in the beginning. And also you've got this guarantee on the back end.
Caroline Giuliani, daughter of Rudy, opens up about being polyamorous
"Right rudy. Giuliani's daughter caroline rose says she finds strength and being a unicorn and we're not talking about the mythical creature carolina reveals in vanity fair that she takes pleasure and pride in being the third and a sexual relationship with a couple so she is very open in this letter. She is unapologetic. She is very happy and proud and she said it took her awhile to get to this point but she is super happy to spread awareness. I would like to hear your thoughts. The guest our guest stars always the role. That wanna have. If you're going to do this. Explain to the people first of all unicorn. This first of all unicorn is a mystical creature. Obviously the third person in a relationship Go ahead i'm more like a goat. I come in food. I rummaged leave. You don't want me there. Because i'm digging. I'm asking you questions about your relationship. Okay oh yeah you're involved. Enjoy the moment. Have a nice night. So maybe we can do this again sometime. It's going to be sexy but then it turns into dr phil. It's like a whole connection here. What can we do to bring you back to get an older home doing nothing. One hundred days to the unicorn mad that the even using this word unicorn is the mystical creatures. A word my son would use the unicorn and now that it's this person who's in a relationship with a couple. I never use that word again. May mommy and were beautiful. I bet you do see this. Is that bronco unicorn. We normally call that person. Frankie freak frigging day game. Get with the couple all. It's a thing i gotta say. What is now the thing because you're also unattached. You know unicorn side piece. yes that's what is normally called. you are they. Are we committed. No there's no people with papers der together a unicorn. The definition of a person comes into a razor. They cannot interfere with the couple mainstays. You're just to come and go
COVID-19 Vaccinations Continue for Some Counties Across the Dallas-Fort Worth Area
"North Texas counties. counties. They're They're trying trying to to keep keep up up with with demand demand as as covert covert 19 19 vaccination vaccination stay stay wide wide of of open open availability availability to to those those in in Category Category one one B, B, which which include include vulnerable vulnerable populations, populations, and and those those 65 older medical director, Dallas of Dallas County, Dr Phil Wang says the county's wrapping of vaccinations for category one a before it can get to one be so as we are opening up, we want to get some vaccine. One b that we can the limited amount, but it's still very limited. Collin County officials say all available doses have already been administered and the count is waiting for another shipment. Anyone wanting a shot must register through online county Wait
Texas nursing homes prepare for initial distribution of coronavirus vaccine
"Residents of Texas nursing homes. Another long term care facilities are expected to have the opportunity to take the cove at 19 vaccine is early is December 28th. Dallas County Medical director, Dr Phil Wong says the facilities air partnering with CVS and Walgreens, the vaccinate residents who want the visor vaccine. We actually did a survey of our long term care facilities most solemn moment already signed up to get that from the pharmacies. You know where the pharmacies will send people in to the long term care facilities to administer the vaccine perform a Caesar expected to receive the vaccine around December 21st.
"dr phil" Discussed on Sex With Emily
"You to them. Five that car secret wise. They call them. You're listening to sex with. I'm dr emily. And i'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. Today i've talking with one of the most. Well no mental health professionals in the world and host of tv's number one daytime talk show dr phil mcgraw. We talk about his new show. That animal rescue show and his best advice for people who either feeling really lonely because there is a loneliness epidemic these days or for couples who are spending a lot more time together plus. It was so fun because doctor. Phil's wife robin mcgraw jumped into the interview. We were on zoom. And i've been her pop guys last year and it was such a delight and they both ended up giving great insights and how they've built and kept their relationship strong for almost fifty years. Four into that we talk about breakups different stages of breakup and how to navigate the healing process. So you actually can move on and then pick partners. That are actually right for you. So we have to keep repeating patterns over and over and over again. You know we so often carry that baggage into the next relationship. But we don't have to. So i'm here to help you work through so your new relationship can start fresh all right intentions with emily. Join me and setting an intention for the show. So when you're listening think well what do i want to listen to this episode. This episode helped me. Maybe it's i wanna hear dr phil and robin have kept their relationship so strong and my intention was just to give you some simple foundational tools to help your relationship derive long-term and if you're starting a relationship making better choices from the beginning you can find after phil's new show that animal rescue show now streaming on cbs. All access.
Oprahs 2000 Capsule
"Joanne competence greatest wish is to tell the world. What happened to her beloved daughter Lori. She says my goal for the year two thousand is to tell my daughter story on your show, and then to let that go and get on with my life. Just thinking of her name or thanking her it brings a smile, Emma Hart, Lori and Powell was having the time of her life. She was eighteen, vibrant and popular. She loved her rock and Roll Music, and the Glamour of entering local beauty heartens. then. The mother's unspeakable nightmare happen. Laurie disappeared on a lonely country road and Joanne. comptons torment began. Police found her body in a nearby river. She'd been stabbed to death. Investigations led nowhere, and Laurie's murder remains unsolved when they found Lori and she didn't have anything on her. Just a little steadier rain. No Clothes No pocket. No check. In the ten years since Lori disappeared daily, life has stood still for Joann. Our never be able to come to terms with the US to me. Lori Dad today just as easy as she died ten years ago in one bedroom. She keeps a collection of mementos. Her dolls that she collected. I care for dress from her. Pageants she used to like to be him. Time has not healed Joanne Compton each day. She says the loss feels like a whole that gets deeper. I keep worry ends memory law of all the time in my heart. That Dayton's part of me I don't want anyone else touch. I keep for all live. In my thoughts. Just. Thinking backs I'll. Lorries buried in a cemetery near the family home. Her mother though. Still is waiting for some kind of peace. Joanne row to Dr Phil and She wants to end her. With this tragedy she knows that she is obsessed. And she wrote to Dr Phil McGraw Asking for help. Fill is here with a plan to help Joanne. Move On. This is a show for anyone dealing with the tragedy. Perhaps maybe you will hear something today. That will be a spark a piece of light to open a door that has gotten you stuck. He is a psychologist and he's alive strategist. Non This letter? You say Joanne ten years ago. Ago My daughter Laurean was murdered since that day. I've not been able to let go. It has never been solved and after all this time I don't guess it will be since then I've spent hours and days looking for answers writing to anyone that might help I have a need in me to tell her story not in a small way, but in a big way. This need is driving me crazy. It's all I think about every day. I believe that because of this need. It's making me sick within. I've had to have heart surgery and have develop stomach ulcers. The stomach pain is unbearable at times, but not as unbearable as Laurie's debt.
Aerobic Adaptation & Facebook Live
"Welcome to leave your podcast. Something different today I recorded facebook live last night. And this is a audio of that so it's GonNa be a bit hit and miss. There's going to be big twitter on looking at other things or entering questions from comments But hopefully you get something out of these cover. It's all about aerobic adaptation and increasing your fat burning and oxygen burning capacity so that you can produce energy with less oxidative stress so basically using you'll Arabic system much more than your anaerobic system. I mentioned this many Tom so I want go over it again. Here it is. I've enjoyed all right. So really WANNA get into aerobic capacity and what that is all about because there's a lot of confusion a lot of basic principles that pay a aware of but they don't know what they're actually doing when a do it. So let's say something like a base face so when you're building base a yeah you just gotta go long and slow and that's what we've gotTa do and people do that but Moto told about the adaptation that happens and then how you progress that adaptation to benefit you Particularly told me into age-group who are training full long distance triathlons a anything half on man up to a non man or even ultras longer events like that. Because that's way aerobic capacity fat adaptation. Really coming into the at sign where it's really important that we minimize the stress by using more oxygen and Moffat for fuel and kate the stress levels low so that we're feeling strong towards the end of the rice still so Jamie's distracting me day by myself in the background But she's telling me it's working so that's good so what we need to be thinking about is what's happening with something like that. Vice building face. I was going to look at some not. The base building is is that aerobic adaptation. And what's happening when we do math so everybody a lot of people that are way of math principles. Maximum Aerobic function developed by Dr Phil. Matheson back in the late seventy s and hey laws and trained mark Alan using this method. That if you build up your aerobic capacity then your ability to perform over endurance events increases greatly. And the reasons that I'm going to go through he that they increase performance increases is through These count myself anyway. So what's happening so aerobic means using a lot of oxygen and technically pretty much everything that we do other than about like a seven second. Spring is aerobic because we are using oxygen. It's just this ratio of using more oxygen or our using less oxygen less oxygen using other pathways such as glucose dominant pathways and less oxygen. So we know that things like lactate produced as that ratio changes so as we use less oxygen from Ireland and all the one that can say and he me. Thanks God so let me not so. That's one thing that's happening building these pillories. We have building the ability of Amata to be more aerobic so the CA- pillories increasing in number and volume to take more oxygen out of the blood. And then the oxygen from the blood into the muscles the muscles and then into the next lower level down right down into the Mac- Andrea so then in the Monaco Andrea. If there's more oxygen in there they can use more fat for fuel so this is a two part answer where fat burning and oxygen usage go hand in hand so staying at that lower level and building a base phase where increasing oxygen carrying pillories which you can do through the O. Two Max efforts and that sort of thing as well which is why they are good have their place and people get results and then not something to never do but then when it comes to the fat burning aspect of this study other side of the coin what needs to be done is optimize the monarch Andrea where the energy made full burning fat to do that. We need to stay in a very aerobic state and so basically we need to be using a lot of oxygen not using the ANAEROBIC system as much so always still using oxygen. It's always aerobic by the air ANAEROBIC system as much by using more glucose. If we're going harder which is wine that base phase. You WANNA use Cape Too hot right. That you know is staying aerobic which is around your maximum aerobic function. So that's math. Hundred and Eighty Monitor. Age Is your base starting-point heart rate number for you to then decide if that is a good point for you and fills just put out a book yesterday which I recommend you go and check out. And he's written plenty of things about one hundred ninety monitor age as a starting point. But that's what it is. It's a starting point. And he's written about how their variables if you've been seeking injured then you'd probably need to take a few bates off that if your if you have a big deficiency syndrome which is a phrase that Phil coined a longtime ago as well With basically you have done so much anaerobic work. Let's say you've done so much work using glucose in low oxygen state that you have trained your muscles day trained your muscles to using fat for fuel. So therefore if they using more glucose there's more biproduct more stress you can't go as long as efficiently
Dr. Anthony Fauci counters Trump claims amid COVID-19 crisis
"The testimony we heard yesterday from from all the officials were particular. Dr Franchi like a bucket of cold. Water on what? The president is relentless tone of late to try to push the nation to restart the economy to reopen on number of points in Dr Frederick. He wasn't dealing with politics. He never once said these words that the president was wrong. He didn't turn to any sort of attacks. In fact he was very careful the way he spoke as he always is and he stuck to the principles and they were in the guidelines and the science and the medicine and there are though some a few clear warning signs he suggested that a vaccine which the president has been suggesting suddenly might be available. By Year's end he said to be a year or two or more away he he suggested that when pressed by Senator Rand Paul on a rather contentious exchange he said that while we they scientists. Believe that if you have Kovic nineteen you will have immunity afterwards. If you recover that they didn't know that for certain just yet he certainly tried to pump the brakes a little bit on the ideas that schools could resume this fall universities in particular and then on one thing that was particularly striking is he talked about the death. Count and we. We've heard the president know we've now well over eighty thousand and the president privately has been suggesting he thinks that's too high that he believes that those numbers are inflated he sa- cast a little bit of doubt on this publicly but privately even more so suggesting that the media and others were try to pump up the numbers a little bit to make him look at Dr Phil she went and the exact opposite direction saying that we probably have a significant. In his opinion a significant undercount a number of deaths that it's far higher than those that we know that some American deaths we'll never perhaps ever be accounted for. But they were to blamed on this virus
TV Doctors Oz and Phil explaining controversial Fox comments
"Two television doctors Dr oz and Dr Phil or trying to explain comments they made about corona virus restrictions on fox this week Dr oz apologized he called re opening schools are very appetizing opportunity even with the two or three percent death rate and Dr Phil McGraw came under fire for comparing the number of coronavirus deaths to those caused by traffic and swimming pool
Telemedicine has come of age
"Telemedicine finally came of age this week. As Disneyland said it would close Broadway. Went dark so many conferences were cancelled and Tom. Hanks announced that he had tested positive. For the corona virus. Many people have the same questions like am I infected to? How do I find out at a press conference president? Donald Trump urged people to turn to telemedicine which I did as well this week after developing mild sore throat because as you know despite the many claims of testing becoming more widespread too cold reality is that as of today the local doctor. Office is unlikely to see you. I was directed by my doctor. Get my questions answered by the La County Health where the recording on the phone told me there were thirty people ahead of me on hold but the telemedicine folks are more than happy to take a look via. Webcam and figure out if you're actually at risk or not. Does it replace like real testing. No but it's a start as you can at least get an answer from somebody without having to wait for an appointment or worse visit in office that might be filled with people who are infected or you will in fact. I went on Dr Demand. Which is the website formed by Dr Phil and his son? J brilliant idea you spend. Your money is spent seventy five dollars. They claim that they'll work with your insurance. But I couldn't get it to work. You Click a button and you wait for a doctor to appear on the screen. I waited for thirty minutes But like it being in a waiting room I had other things to do because it was on my computer and I just walked away until Dr Susan Mayo came on the screen said hello to me. Check me out had be opened up my mouth. Basically put my mouth over the Webcam camera. So she and she had Even and she could look inside my mouth and see that. I wasn't swelling. She asked me about my medical history. She asked me about whether I had a fever and I had checked the fever before we made the call and she pretty much told me. What a doctor's office would say When I go to the doctor say to take two aspirin and get some sleep. She said stay at home and stay away from people which is basically what everybody's saying but the good news was she said. I probably didn't have the virus whether she knew it or not whether whether I would pass positive on test who knows but it was a bit I start. At least there was someone to talk to You couldn't get that far. You know there is talk about these drive through testing facilities At the press conference trump announced the Google was starting a website on Sunday to prescreen people. And that's just not true It's not google. It's a sister company to Google. And they say they are slowly developing it and they will. They will roll it out eventually. I don't think it's going to be next week. And I don't think it's GONNA be next month. So meanwhile what of the telemedicine? I spoke to a doctor in Boston. Named Dr Michael Klein who worries that we will become so comfortable with telemedicine. We'll stop going in basically because we don't have to take half a day off we don't have to drive over there. We don't have to sit in the office and wait for him. We don't have to take our clothes off. We just talk into the Webcam and supposedly get an answer. He says there's nothing like an in person visit for him to really see what's going on with you and a lot of nuances going on. He gets a lot of clues from the way you talk the way you act I'm probably with them. I I know that it's going to be more efficient. But Gosh I want to click that button and just get it over with don't you?
Skai Jackson Granted Restraining Order Against Bhad Bhabie
"The teens are fighting with each other specifically sixteen year. Old White Rapper. Danielle Burr Goalie Aka. Bad Baby Aka. You know the girl who said cash me outside on Dr Phil. All those years ago. Anyway these seventeen year old Disney Channel Star skied. Jackson is so freaked out by bad babies threats on social media. That sky has officially taken out a restraining order against bad baby. According to TMZ the restraining order was granted by a judge and quote orders. Be Stay one hundred yards away from sky her home and workplace. She also can't contact sky in any form in the DOCKS SKIES SAYS. She's fearful to leave her house by herself. Hasn't slept well since the threats were made and feels. Danielle is mentally unstable sky. Also claims Danielle texted her four months ago saying she wanted to fight her she included some of the alleged messages from Daniel in her filing and quote Yikes okay. Bad baby responded to the restraining order. News by posting an ad I guess for her new record and also it doubled as an advert fashion Nova the caption for her instagram. Post reads as follows quote. Go Get your restraining order. I'm go get checks at Fashion Nova hashtag AD and quote. I wonder if she's actually going to get paid out by fashion. Nova for that because it doesn't seem like that's how ads work but hey I should just start tagging. Companies in my clapback tweets. That's not the worst idea I've ever heard. Anyway I guess this whole thing started because bad baby went on instagram. Live and said she was gonNA kill sky earlier this week. Tmz summed up the root cause of their beef saying quote. Bb's mad sky allegedly made a fake account to talk about Danielle recently being seen hanging out with rapper. Nba Young boy. A Guy Baby seems to skies pretty into herself as bad baby claims in her own words skies moving sneaky online and quote. There's not many times in life where I truly feel old but right now I feel
An Appointment With Dr. Cline
"Three to four years ago both of my children and I were diagnosed with a genetic condition. I I also knew that I'm a carrier for a genetic disease. That is prevalent in Ashkenazi Jews. Forber Kramer's sin in her twenty three meek it for health reasons. She got a results back in June of Twenty nineteen. I looked through the medical history no surprises and and then I opened the DNA relative section. And said I had twenty three or twenty four DNA relatives and it listed them all. I also had a message from someone named Jacobo Ballard saying she was sure I was confused by my results. If I had any questions questions feel free to contact her. Allie didn't think much of it. She's not Jacobo. Worked for twenty three and me and that the relatives she saw were just mistake. G kind of forgot about it months past then on December ninth. Twenty nineteen an episode of Dr Phil Aired Fertility. Doctor who fathered nearly early seventy children is warning his secret offspring to keep quiet it was titled Dna Drama Fertility Doctors. Secret Children. Ask some of the people you heard on this podcast. Join Dr Phil to talk about their experiences. One of them was Matt White immediately. Knew that I was going to be a part of this because as you look just like me. Allie didn't catch the show. When it aired she recorded and on December twelfth? Her daughter was sick from school. They curled up in bed to watch it as it started and the four adult children of Dr Klein came out. The first name was to COPA. Ballard you and I laid there and just said Oh my God I recognized the name and I reached for my phone an open my twenty the three and me account all four of the siblings on stage were listed as my
"dr phil" Discussed on Kickass News
"Thanks once more Dr Phil McGraw for coming on the PODCAST. Don't forget to subscribe and listen to who is new. podcast fill in the blanks on apple podcasts. Stitcher or spotify for more information and upcoming guests visit D. R. Fill in the BLANKS DOT com. Of course the Dr Phil Show airs on TV Every Week Day. And you can visit Dr Phil Dot Com for your local listings and follow Phil McGuire on twitter at at Dr Phil Flat. Iron School is reinventing education starting with student outcomes with courses and software where engineering data science and US UI design clad. Iron School stands behind it students with tuition money back.
"dr phil" Discussed on Kickass News
"Nobody comes here to tell me how well things are going. I've never had a guest and say I just wanted to stop by LEX. You know have great things are going in my life and so by design On task with that issue that problem every time and in the podcast. I don't have to do that. I'm not stamping out disease and suffering. Instead I'm getting to talk to interesting listing people about interesting things and it's really been funny. I only have the second one up now. I did Shaquille. O'Neal I thin DAX. Shepard is just today but I've done about thirty five of them voting to jump in with both feet. I've got about thirty five of them into Kim and it's been interesting. I've done a lot of friends like shack. And Charles Barkley in Steve Harvey and Ron Wyden David Foster and people that I know but I still learn some things from them that I didn't know when we sat down and really got to talking. Because it's it's funny when we're together we're always doing something we're playing golf or we're going somewhere or whatever but to just sit down down on purpose and talk we've learned things about each other and it's really been a lot of fun. It's a little bit different than your show. You're not dishing out tough love and hard truths have you ever caught yourself sitting down with shack or someone and maybe slipping back into that mode and call them out on something or giving them is. Is it hard to shut that down. No you know it's interesting a socially like if if we were out to dinner three or four couples and somebody's got a problem with their kid or a friend of theirs. Get a divorce or something I can tell you. I'm I am the last one to offer advice really. I absolutely the last one offer advice. I mean in fact it will wind up where maybe everybody said it's up to the altar and look at me because I'm like me and my wife will say don't look at him because everybody Kinda wears a social mask and they'll say well. I'm sure sure they'll work it out but don't ask me if you don't want to know 'cause I mean I'm a guy that sits there and say well that's his second wife and in her third husband. They got seventy nine percent chance of divorce no matter what happens the nest before you add in a seventeen year age difference so the chance of. They're making this just just about zero. So y'all quit talking about it. Let's go go. She's those don't ask him because he's going to tell you the truth. I don't volunteer vice a When I sit down with my friends we we stayed pretty loose and had a good time? I sit down with Steve Harvey today and he and I are really good friends and One time you know what idiot gave both of us are my same time. We had a pretty good time. I'll have to say now. Who are some of the other guests that you have scheduled to come fill in the blanks? Well you know. This isn't a celebrity podcast. I've mentioned some of these because when I started out I just started talking to some of my friends. 'cause I think they're interesting people are. They wouldn't be my friends. I guess but I'm also talking to experts and ordinary people. In extraordinary circumstances like one of the most interesting ones. I've done And he's a very good good friend of mine. But it's Dr Pat Johnson. WHO's the head of neurosurgery at Cedars Sinai Hospital? There's been tremendous breakthroughs news in neuro surgery. He's also a sideline doctor for the NFL. So what goes on inside that tent. What is the concussion protocol? What goes on inside that tent? What determines where they go back in the game or where they don't know back into game? What terms where they go in the locker room? Or just it's the tint. What would he say if he was to make the decision to let his kid play football or not knowing what he knows ooh about? Cte In rain damage and all of those sort of things so we had what I think is fascinating conversation. Yeah and he certainly not a celebrity in the celebrity right. But he's very distinguished in His field I talked to a woman who is a self defense insect spurt for children to dealing with predators. And that sort of thing and I'm going to be my own guests As well because because this year we have a lot of people that go get Dr Phil Show content Dr Phil all content on the Internet. I think this year will pass over two billion views for the year here on Youtube of people going getting information but maybe somebody got served divorce papers. So they'll go look for serve shows that I've done on divorce and but I've had so many people tell me that while that's helpful to them that they would really like to talk. Talk to me you know. They look at the video but they really wish in that crisis they'd give anything they could talk and what I'm GonNa do. Who is I'm going to post up some some podcast? Where if you did talk to me on that day? Here's exactly exactly what I would tell you. If you serve divorce papers this morning interesting here the ten things. I would tell you to do before dark today. If you went in your kid's room and found on drugs in his sock drawer here the seven things. You need to do right now today before the sun sets. I mean if ah if you did get to talk to me. Let me tell you what I would tell you. Well you you might not know my exact situation now. There are some things I want to tell you. Independent of your exact situation like number one. They're not his friends drugs. I don't Damn what he says. Those are his drugs there in his sock drawer out. You believe that committed and given that. Here's what you need to do. Second and then you know we just go from there. These are things that I would tell them and what. I've told people I'm going to do that. They're like win so I think that's going to be interesting to people as well. We're GONNA talk to some couples about this being couple also. We can do a lot of different things that I think have been done. Yeah it's cool. Sounds like you're giving yourself a lot of room to kind of go where you WanNa go and do different things different formats. That's great right and I also heard that you're going to do a true crime. podcast which seems perfect for you with your jury. Selection experience in psychology spent a Lotta time in the legal system. And and I said I did clinical and behavioral medicine When I graduated in you do your uh internship program? I did mine it to be a Medical Center in Waco Texas and then I did a year postdoctoral fellowship Polish ship in forensic psychology. And you know when you do psychology and the law. It covers everything from working with the cord on custody situations fitness apparent. Or whatever all the way through making determinations of Sanity Hannity in murder cases. Is this person fit to be tried. was this an irresistible impulse or an impulse not resisted and that distinction is just a few different words but the difference between an irresistible irresistible impulse in the impulse resisted can mean the difference between the death penalty or going home home very short period of time. And so I've I've I've done forensic evaluations in a lot of very high stakes criminal situations and we've done a lot of crime shows here at at Dr Phil. We've had murder cases reopened. We've had we've had cases we've done where based on what we've done people have been arrested and charged and I've worked with law enforcement extensively for years and years of strong law enforcement advocate so so I've come across some intriguing crime stories and I'm I'm going to not just describe them. which a lot of people do you would do very well? I'm a big fan of some of the crime. Shows that are out there but rather than describe the crime in and what happened. I'm going to analyze what happened from a psychological and forensic standpoint because I think people want to know who does this kind of. Yeah you know. We just had Chris Watts that killed his wife and two children family and I later there have been eighty one eighty one family in islanders in the last twenty five thirty years and people say you know Dr Phil who does that it causing people say that a lot. You know who does that when they say that to me. It's not rhetorical. They really WANNA know. Yeah and I'm I'm GonNa tell them when we do a crime story I'm GONNA go inside the mind of the criminal. I'm GonNa talk about the anatomy of this crime from the criminal standpoint and let them see what's there because there are predators among us and they need to know. Oh how they think how they act and how spot. I think. It's going to be interesting. Well before we wrap up. I just gotTa ask you. Do you have any inkling of Oprah might run for president and would you vote for her. Do you think she's going to run well. Of course the safe answer is that you would have to ask her uh-huh and the second safe answers never say never but I'll tell you I don't think so but I'll say in the same breath She is much more qualified than probably most people. Think OPRAH OPRAH is people. Ask me a lot. The A is is oprah like she seems is she is an nicest is she appears and answers no. She's not as Nice as she seems. She's a lot nicer. The camera doesn't really do her justice. She is one of the most genuine warm caring people that I've ever met. You would love her if she was a gas station attendant or a senator or cleaning up the room after we left or or television personality it wouldn't matter she's got what I call a health engendering personality. You Talk to her. You feel better about yourself than you did before you talk to her. And what people don't know is how intelligent and wise. This woman is is her sense of The geopolitical landscape and economics and just the hydraulics of government and all. She is a very well versed individual much more than a lot of people in office today in many different levels. So if she decided to run it would not be a Lark It would not be like wow. That's that's out field. People would find out when they started asking her questions that she didn't cram for the interview. yeah more more about what's going on in this world and then she ever talks about you have any interest in being running-mate absolutely absolutely none I would Bahasa go for that. Be Happy to carry her briefcase or happy to support her in any way but a million politics though mix art man. Well once again folks can listen to subscribe to the podcast. Fill in the blanks. Now that's P. H. I l. just a reminder on apple podcast Google play stitcher or or wherever you like to listen and you can of course watch the Dr Phil Show Weekdays on your local station Dr Phil McGraw. Thanks for talking with me. Thanks for having me. I really enjoyed. Thanks.
"dr phil" Discussed on Kickass News
"It was in your capacity as a trial consultant. I think that you I met Oprah wasn't something with the ranchers union or something like that with suing her over something she said about beef. It was a mad. It was called the mad cow case and this was a time. I'm when the Beef supply in the United Kingdom was called into question because contaminated cattle were being processed and fed back to the heard that food then with the contamination was crossing the blood brain barrier and contaminating the cattle. With this disease. There was some question as to whether or not that was happening in the United States. And this expert on her show suggested it was she said well. I'm not eating another burger again. And supposedly the beef commodities on Chicago Chicago Board of trade went limit. Down that day which the cattle growers said that equaled billions of dollars. They lost yeah so they sued her in Amarillo Texas saying that she had impugned the beef supply and they sued her for billions of dollars. And Yeah we went to trial in federal court in Amarillo. Well I mean it is her option not to eat beef if she so chooses her option to say she isn't going. Yeah but what kind of advice did you give her along. The way originally are playing. Was You know truth is defense to slander in the way this works is they said she had slandered. The beef supply because it was a commodity that was perishable and we had had the proof that what she said and what the expert had said was true that they were doing that into be supply was at risk and truth is a defense to slander. And we had the experts to prove that mid-trial made the strategic decision to change course of action and not use truth as a defense to slander in fact overnight. We got our experts outside subpoena. Arrange and got them out of Amarillo and did not put them on what we did instead was defend her right to say it not that it. It was true but her right to express her opinion. And that's why at the end of the trial. She came out on the courthouse steps. Raised her fist up and said free speech each rocks. That was her own statement. Did you celebrate with a steak dinner. Where'd you go from there Though we did have a show that night all right there in Amarillo. Move the show to Amarillo for the real trial. You Know Kenny. She asked me Chicago one day. What can I do to help? And I said well you could moved. Showdown royal turn around picked up the phone and said find me a spot Amarillo. Were moving the show. I mean she was a game or I'll tell you. Yeah Oprah can do that I I guess were you surprised when she invited you on her show. After all that I was she producer called and said Hey Overwatch Watch you to come on the show. We're doing a show about this and so and I I actually said No. I don't think so. Oh and I'm not going to be here anyway going scuba diving and they said well okay. They hung up about fifteen minutes later. She called back. Said you know. Say No to Oprah. She was laughing. Say No over what are you doing. I said I WANNA do it. I'm going scuba diving boys and she said well how about we wait till until you get back and I said Okay and the old saying goes the rest is history. I mean here I am I guess. Twenty two two years later still do television. I had no intention of doing television at the time that you created the Dr Phil Show you. Were kind of a little bit of a trailblazer because up till then syndicated talk shows similar to yours that brought people as guests. who were you know? Having some kind of problems or behavioral issues were mostly exploitative Donahue's springer. Yeah you know we. I graduated from Oprah University and so you you learned to do it in a very different way when I started to do Oprah even the first time I said look I don't know whether this USA work or not. And she said well everybody on my staff says it won't work that you can't create meaningful psychological moments in this period of time and I've told them you can Dr Phil can and most people can't but he can just watch and I said look. I'm just GonNa do what I do. And if you turned into television fine fine if you can't I was busy when you call I didn't make much difference to me And I really planned to go do the show. I figured it would be a one one time thing. And we'd have a great time and you know she and I were friends would hell. We live together at a bed and breakfast in Amarillo for like three months or something so and I'd work with for two and a half years leading up to trial. We had become very good friends. She's very good friends with my wife and Try saw yellow go up. We're GONNA have a good time and he's not my dad once and move on but I said look. I'm just going to do what I do if you can turn into. TV great can't bind. Just kind of do what I do in they work away to do it and turn it into television and you have had certain people in the psychiatric community. The WHO've said well you just given out easy answers and simplifying things too much. Are you perhaps a victim of your success in that you do come in and you make it look effortless. And there's a certain assumption that you just stroll out on stage and wing it which is not really the case at all you said early on. She said your biggest problem is going to be that you make it look really easy off and the fact is it's not easy a even my own mother she. She's passed away now but she called me a one time we were talking and she said Phil. Let me ask you something. What do you do the other twenty three hours of the day mother? What do you mean? Ag said well. I watch you from four to five. What do you do the other twenty? She thought I pulled up at four. o'clock yeah did this show till five avenue. I went home. She had no idea that I get two hundred and fifty page notebook for every show and spend hours and hours preparing pairing for this. She she had no idea. I mean people. I don't know what people think sometimes because I I kind of have A. I don't know easy way of you've of delivering things belies the fact that there's been a while to work. Go into this. And we have an advisory board here right and it's made up of the top minds in psychology psychiatry medicine sociology. Even the allergy nursing got the the family division from Harvard Medical School and the Children's Psych Division at Yale and Stanford University Dr Zimbardo and a lot a lot of these men and women are the editors of the peer reviewed journals. So okay. They're checking things. Yeah so I might send something a show show about OCD. And they'll go. Actually there's been a real breakthrough article that hasn't been published yet. Let me send it to you so the advice. I'm giving mm might not even be published yet but it's been peer reviewed and cleared go into the Journal of abnormal psychology. Or whatever. So I've got really really great resources. He'll be sure that I'm giving advice. I've got this. I've got this knack for getting these Gigs where somebody does all the work and I get hold of credit got a great staff. We've got research department here. People do a lot of work then I walk out there and get credit for all your wife has been to every single taping of the show ever since day one everyone. I'm a newlywed. Do you have any kind of marriage advice or go to tips that you usually give. Yes dear. Okay we've been married forty two years. Yeah and we've been together forty forty five and until we came out here. She never went to work with me. She never was involved in what we did what I did Or me and what she did and that was not the plan when we came out here but we were doing some tests shows into in the beginning and we did the first show and kind of like it is over and I'm like Should I stand here or leave a lot. Yeah well I should leave so I walked down the runway and I'm going to turn right and her tears right there. It's so natural just walked by my wife like I don't know or it just because I'm on TV so as I walked by down and took her hand said let's go and she walked off with me and everybody in the Control Wpro Room said Oh my God. We love that you should do that. Every time and Robin said fine and she does so much more. Then just sit in the audience. Because she's I think one of the foremost ambassadors in the fight against domestic violence. He has a foundation that works on that she just went was me and testified. On Capitol Hill about Domestic Violence Jason opioid abuse and by young mothers and their children. She's raised over one hundred million dollars in money and services for for the court appointed special advocates program. She's very very active in many of these programs and she's a feminine side for me La. Sometimes I'll be preparing a show and she'll say you better not say that. Say you better say this. Because she's she's my feminine side so the helps you. Tell me Dr Phil has a Dr Phil or Mrs Fill Better believe it. Well since we brought up Capitol Hill and marriage counseling. I have to ask what would you do with the government shutdown. We're in that room with trump Pelosi and Schumer. Do you think that you can help them. Make some headway or knock their heads together. You know at this point I I really wonder WHO's agenda is being run Everybody involved in this is being. I'm paid to run the business of this country and not any of them are doing it and I think they're all jockeying for position. I think they're all jockeying to protect their jobs. And who's doing our who's doing what we're paying them to do. I'm I'm apolitical a-political. I don't take political sides or positions but I'm kind of like a pox on both houses. I mean come on. Yeah guys listless. Let's let's we got what eight hundred thousand workers not getting paid. People have families and children children and an and mortgages to pay and food to put on the table I just think that's just not a very good strategy. How about in terms of addressing the political divide on on the macro level of getting people to the table and being able to have productive conversations without yelling or other rising or? I'm very disappointed that. Ah We've always been able to disagree. Have a healthy debate. -An and then say. Hey Ben lescoe lunch you can disagree. I don't like your idea you don't like mine we can talk about it Respect each other's right to have their opinion. And then okay. We're talking about that this. Go grab a hamburger. That's not how it is anymore. I mean I think some of this is approaching McCarthyism awesome. It's I see it in Hollywood. I see it a in lots of ways on both sides of the aisle. I am very concerned you you know we. We preach all this inclusion and and freedom of speech. But we sure don't seem to be practicing. Well I WANNA bring it back to your new podcast. Fill in the blanks. Which I want to point out is P. H. I l.? Right right it must be especially nice for you to be able to sit down with someone and have a conversation without having the pressure of trying to solve all the problems really is because on on Dr Phil necessarily I've got forty two minutes and eighteen seconds of content time and I've got someone one in front of me that presents a problem..
"dr phil" Discussed on Kickass News
"By America's top doctors go into every single episode of the Dr Phil Show he shares a little relationship advice after forty two years of marriage. How his wife Robyn is the Dr Phil to Dr Phil? Always keeping him in check. And why Robin still sits in the audience of every taping of his show. Show then. Dr Phil Discusses How his New podcast fill in. The blanks is a welcome chance to interview interesting people without the pressure of having to solve all their problems problems why he desperately wants to get. OJ Simpson on the show and why for his next project. He's ready to make a splash in the popular true crime genre. Plus plus why. He never volunteers advice to his friends. What he do if he was mediating the government shutdown negotiations and he weighs in on the prospect of an Oprah for President President Campaign in twenty? Twenty coming up with Doctor Phil McGraw in just a moment. Dr.
"dr phil" Discussed on Kickass News
"This is kick ASS news. I'm Ben Mathis when you need energy on the AGO and don't have time to wait in line grab Espresso Monster. Espresso monster is a premium. Blend of Espresso and cream made with freshly brewed espresso. Coffee Hormone Mon.. Fri Milk and a unique energy blend complete with taurine and b-vitamins each can has three shots of Bresso and comes in Vanilla Espresso and Espresso and in cream flavors. I had one this morning before I came into the studio and let me tell you it gave me just the boost. I needed to get my day going. Plus it tastes so delicious. I'd drink gin anyway. So close your eyes take a sip and enjoy Espresso Munster today and now enjoy the podcast. Hi I'm Ben. Mathis welcome to kick ASS news before my guest today. Hit the airwaves. Daytime syndicated television was more freak show than talk show with names like Donahue Geraldo Maury and of course springer cynically exploiting dysfunctional families troubled teens teens and abused spouses for TV. Ratings offering little to no educational value and sending guests home no better off and sometimes worse off than they were before four but then in two thousand two Dr Phil McGraw Debut show that proved that a no nonsense therapist who offered actual empathy and commonsense solutions. Russian's could raise awareness about mental health problems and to get big ratings. In fact the Dr Phil Show which is now in its seventeenth season remains the a number one syndicated talk show in America and on today's podcast Phil McGraw joins me to talk about the two thousand plus episodes and countless guests. He's helped why. Why many of them just can't accept that they have a problem until they see it on TV and how every time Dr Phil thinks? He's seen it all. He encounters guests is to completely flabbergasted him he recalls how losing a football game in junior high school inspired him to go into psychology in the first place what it was like to go into practice practice with his father and why he eventually decided to switch from getting into the minds of his patients to getting into the minds of juries becoming one of the top trial consultants. That's in America. He explains how that put him into contact with Oprah Winfrey how he convinced her to move her entire. TV program to Amarillo. Texas for three months during the infamous mad cow beef trial and why he was initially hesitant when Oprah. I invited him to come on her show. He discusses his belief. That problems are complex. lex But solutions are often actually pretty simple but he also says. Don't be fooled by the magic of television and is easy going manner because hours of research search in peer review.
"dr phil" Discussed on Analysis of Murder by Dr. Phil
"Do you think they would lived happily ever after. Do you think they were capable of a serious commitment. Uh of course not you. I talk a lot about victimology people that have been victimized by criminals and even even victims of bullies in school. But if you know me you know I also talk about the bullies because for every parent that has a child is being bullied. There's a parent that has a child. That is a bully and you need to ask yourself. Have you talked to your children about empathy. Have you talked to your children about whether or not they have developed an are developing the ability to put themselves in the position of other people. You might recognize that that your child is being bullied but do you recognize if your child is a bully. Do you talk to your child about whether or not they are sensitive to the impact impact. They have on those around them. I wonder what would have happened. If Charlie Wilkinson's parents or whoever raise Charlie Wilkinson had sat down with him and said how do you think so and so would feel if you stole his lunch money and he went hungry for the day. How do you think so? Oh and so would feel if you vandalize the car that they worked really hard to buy and don't have insurance on. Let's talk about that. Let's do a role apply. Tell me how that person would feel. Would you want to feel that way. Let's say a weaker boy gets beat up after school. What do you think he would say say to himself when he got home and realized that he had been afraid and got beaten up if someone broke into your house tonight and untied you to a chair and cut your throat? How would you feel if you cause people to think about how horrific he can experience? It would be for them. Would it cause them to take pause before they visited that kind of pain on someone else. We don't teach in school and we don't teach it in church because it's too dark and some people learn it by Osmosis. Some people learn it by the role model. I love their parents. But what about the Charles Weights and the Charlie Wilkinson's in the air and Kathy's of the world. Where do they learn it? They don't learn it in school. They don't learn it in church. The only place they're gonNA learn it is at home. I'm a strong believer that we create our own experience. And I'm I'm a strong believer that the job of any parent is to prepare their child for the next level of life. And I'm the incurable optimist. I think it's never too late. And I talk about parenting sometimes and I talk about repenting sometimes. So maybe you've never had these conversations with with your children and maybe their now in high school or even off to college but it's not too late to have these conversations. You'd never get through parenting. My Boys are now in their thirties and forties and I still parent I still reach out to them. They reach out to me. You never finished parenting you to start doing it from a long distance. So ask yourself. What are the things that you WanNa make sure that? Your child is sensitized to when they meet people do they they pay attention to. This person seem really immature and selfish. Do they have empathy for others. Do they brag to me about how how they conned or cheated or victimize somebody they knew in the past if they do. Are they going to be bragging somebody in the future about how they victimized me kids. Don't think about that unless you help them. Think about that. So it's important for you to talk to your kids about not victimizing others. It's important for you to talk to your kids about watching out for those who might victimize them and away despite those people is if if they're not empathetic they're narcissistic in that. They tend to think about just themselves and it's always about them and if you teach him about those things you can really inoculate them to being exploited and victimized narcissistic assistant personalities are people that have a pervasive pattern of grandiosity. They have a really strong need for admiration and a lack of empathy beginning in early adulthood. And it's present in a variety of context and they may have a grandiose sense of self importance they're preoccupied reoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success and power. They believed that they're special. They require excessive admiration. They have a sense of entitlements that they should get favorable treatment they should be able to get away with anything and enter personally exploitive they just take advantage of everybody around them and in they lack empathy in that. They're unwilling to recognize an identify. The feelings of other people and if somebody else is doing well. They're very envious of that. They're not happy happy for him. They are envious of it and they show arrogant haughty behaviors. Those are narcissistic personality traits. And I'm going to list those and put them on the website for you and you need to tell them to watch for the antisocial personality as well. That's a pervasive pattern of disregard for four and violation of the rights of others that usually starts in the teens. They don't conform to social norms. Don't respect laws. They're deceitful impulsive. Irritable at Grassy reckless irresponsible. Don't feel remorse. Malysz those on the website for you too so what I'm wanting you to do in his watch for these traits and characteristics in your own children so if you see them you can intervene. Antiques them to watch for these and other Soviet pick their friends sounds very very careful. I hope this tragic story of Aaron Kathy has actually been a cautionary tale. These were murders. That didn't didn't have to happen. You've been listening to the final episode of a family slaughtered for teen love mystery and murder analysis by Dr Phil..
"dr phil" Discussed on Analysis of Murder by Dr. Phil
"Sorry you gave the command. Just do it and you've got to be honest with yourself. You have to be honest with your father if you do then you can forgive yourself. You can ask and accept his genuine forgiveness. She can't get genuine to give nece embedded in a long. You have to tell you my opinion Erin has still not been forthcoming. Remember all the young people who participated in this terrible crime were interviewed separately in everyone with the exception of Erin gave the same story. Bobby Johnson backed up Charles. Wade's needs account of that night. She recalled how Charlie head repeatedly asked Garrod to consider just running away as the group had driven around before the murders. Charlie I kept saying. Are you sure you want to do this. Aaron's response why are you asking me if you love me. You'll do it. She also revealed the old after the killings. Aaron seemed elated and said that she was quote. Free in fact Aaron had wanted to get out of the car to make sure everyone was dead and again according to both bobby and Charles it was Aaron who had insisted that her brothers killed. But there's another another twist to this horrific story it turns out. This was not the first time that Erin as someone to kill her family as part of their investigation. The police interviewed everyone. Who Knew Erin? After remember. This was a very small town so when I say interviewed everyone who knew Erin Erin. That's not a sweeping statement as you might think. But when they got to her ex boyfriend Michael Washburn they were stunned. Here's Michael talking about. His relationship with Aaron Aaron. I met when we were out sixteen years old at a church. I can't airing a along with everybody. Errands Parents Penny and Terry very straight. Aaron stood around and disobey her parents. I did not see any trouble inside an errand for one day. I said how you and your parents now and she said I just wish they were dead a few weeks later. Aaron asked me if I With murder her whole family and burn the house down what she say. She said you know after he do. You can burn the house down and nobody the Bible never know okay You did not react well to that. What what did you say crazy bitch get the hell out of my house? Did you have any sense of why she wanted to kill her parents shoes. She's told me that you know our our parents wouldn't wouldn't let her be around me and wouldn't you know wouldn't let us be by ourselves. Whatever and I was fine with that I'm mattis? She had other plan. Did you ever talk to her about it again now. Okay so that was it you. You had that one conversation. Sation this crazy Outta here and so you to broke it off at that point and I never spoke again after the last conversation. Never actually have her family killed. This was exactly the same thing that happened with Aaron and Charlie her parents had made aide them split up. An era had talked about murdering them but even presented with this new information Terry continued to make excuses for his daughter. What's your reaction to the knowing this? Well like to add to this. No doubt certainly is going to be upset with us. And he made this statement that her parents was too strict. Well Yeah we were strict. We were at Church one one day. We're having a fellowship. One of the ladies came up to us and said we have situation outside of had to separate the two of Michael in together at a picnic table. She was sitting he. He was in front of her. And trying to groper gopher shirt. I've met with him in a hallway at the church asking to leave so yes I was a little strict right but this is evidence testimony evidence that before she was dating Charlie she had in her mind to have her parents killed. She told me she said I was mad. Attitude because you see busted as you made a split up and then I was angry and told him I wish you were. y'All were dead. That's what she told him so she told you part of what he's saying but not all of what he's saying Well it was three weeks before the murders that she asked Michael to kill her family. According to Michael so here we now have one two three four people people that are testifying Michael Wi with nothing to gain these three that we looked at their statements with a lot to lose if they lie. The death penalty hangs over their head. If they tell a lie so it it has to start start beginning to be clear that you have to entertain the possibility that this was her desire to to do and not that she was just a passenger. You agree with Al.. You're probably listening to this and thinking. How can this father be so blind? Mind I mean everybody. Involved are independently telling the same story and that story being that. She was the mastermind behind this that his daughter is the one that drove this and wanted him kill that she specifically mentioned her little brothers that she's the one that wanted to go in and make sure everyone was dead Ed that she was happy. Afterwards that paints a very dark picture and I know some of you are thinking how can he be so blind well think about it as a parent is what she done. Horrific of course it is. Would you be just so upset with your child. That might never be able to forgive them of course but a part of you just doesn't want to believe it a part of your mind part of your psyche just cannot seem to go. Oh there and see them in that way because now when he looks at her she's the same. Aaron did he had the pillow fight with. She's not the air and that's out in the car saying just do it and kill my brothers while you're there. He's never seen her like that. He's only seeing her the way she is now when she sits there like nick Minnie mouse. She's very small very petite very quiet very reticent to answer the questions and she just doesn't seem capable of the things that she's being accused of and people make decisions based on what they see based on what they experience. I've learned that with juries over the years they make decisions on what they see and hear not on what they don't see it here. You often wonder why they dress up. Somebody that's been accused of. You've been loose sexually. And they dress them up like a schoolmarm. If it's a woman when they come into court and think well the jury can see through that. Well maybe but day Eddie after day seeing this woman in conservative close behaving in a conservative way conducting herself appropriately. That begins to way. If you've got some thug but all of a sudden he's in a suit and a tie in his hair is cut and you'll look at him and you think wow just doesn't seem I just can't imagine region but then you see him on the security video and they've got on a black jacket and they're kicking the windows in go. Wow it's what they see in here and if you don't have that security video to show them the different side what they see and hear can get stimulus control in all with his experience of Erin has been the star in the choir at work. The pillow fight the night. She had everyone murdered. It's very hard to overcome that particularly when you don't want to believe what it is that you're being asked to believe. So her appearance and her history with him have stimulus control and he doesn't want to believe what it is that he's trivializing. Those two things are a powerful combination. Perception is reality and she has perceptual control of him. But then there's also the matter of the letter. Aaron wrote to Terry on Father's Day a spoke with Aaron about that. You wrote a letter to your dad's from prison. You said Dear Daddy. None of this was was your fault if anything it was mind. I'm paraphrasing here. I never wanted any of this to happen. I was just going with what what he was telling me. He was seating. All of these lies. I got caught up in him and I feel so guilty about Charleena right. What lies was seeding? I just can't my parents everything will be okay. Said even. Hello this happened. I still feel sad but at the same time. Glad I'm free from the pressure that was being put on me. What what pressure Being relationship with Charlie pressure from Charlie. Okay so you say sad ed but at the same time. Glad that I'm free from the pressure. So the death of your mother and two little brothers was that a good trade. Here's what I worry about healing. Does it begin until you have the truth and and you have told so many different stories and theories here none of which comport with the facts so you told the police what I read to you. Hear that was alive right then. You told Your father a story you told your in your counselors a completely different story right. You're kidding nab but that was a lie and I know you haven't talked to Charlie since assist happened correct and you haven't talked to Charles Wade and you haven't talked to bobby. Am Talk to anybody. But the police have talked to everybody and they are all telling exactly the same story even though they were interviewed independent they all tell the same same story. And then you tell.
"dr phil" Discussed on Analysis of Murder by Dr. Phil
"Did you say that. Did you say I'm free. Charles Wade said you were happier than in a kid at Christmas at that point in in your young brain at the time was it a victory for you. They they were gone and and you were safe. They have said independently that you said you wanted your a little brothers killed because they picked on you and that you didn't want him in foster care and isn't that the truth. You didn't say that you didn't want him dead. Wasn't it your idea to kill your parents really because Charlie says it was your idea. Bobby says it was your idea. Bobby cellmate said that bobby started talking talking about Aaron saying that. She was being abused by her. Parents abused by parents now. According to reports Charles Wade Wade agreed to participate in the murders in exchange for two thousand dollars. Part of that payment was supposed to come from the savings that Terry and penny had hidden hidden in a lock box tucked away in the laundry room. I ask Garin about that. Your parents had a lock box with a combination who told Charlie the combination. I guess I didn't never that but I guess I did head to get it from somewhere. Let me tell you what Charlie says and you tell me how much of this you agree with. I bet you probably agree that they came at one point to do this and the dog dog was barking. Woke you father. And so they left and you called him and said come back. I'll keep the dog quiet. Why is it true you talked to him? Six Times between eleven forty six and twelve forty eight and then the dogs barking they leave you talk to them seven times between one twenty two in one fifty eight because you were. You were talked to them in right you were. You had the dog August control. Everything was okay. And that's different than what you've been telling your father because your father other things that you were just calling off the runway but you had your bag pack. You were ready to go after the killing. And then they sound you this place right. Were you hiding under a blanket. Just hoping they wouldn't find you. Where did you where what did you think he would go the next day? Did you have a plan. You told this therapist you had broken up. And that he came in and killed your family an inflamed you right but that wasn't true correct. Why did you lie to him? I guess can name I jeff good problem. But aren't you still doing that. Now tell me what you think I mean when I say if you don't come clean and be completely honest that you're never going to heal from this and that your father's never going to heal from it People say to add just wants to voice things under the rug so to speak and say that you know we start getting nothing about this. I mean I think we've established I did know but he says you know. My daughter do not mastermind. This and I mean I didn't in I mean I know that always looks bad Dan. I know what winning today that you gotTa Stop victimising in your father. You're part of a plot where two guys go with guns and swords and mass occur him and his family and in Bernie's house to the ground where he has to pull his little boys out of the charred remains unrecognisable. Now at some some point you've got to step up and say I've done enough to this man. He deserves the truce us. I've got an entire notebook here where people are saying. It is your idea to kill. Kill Your parents that you were emphatic. To Kill Your parents they would say. Let's just run away. I mean come on. Let's just run away. No I want them dead. Dad I know that's not who you are now but is that not who you were there are they all lying or is is the truth that you did want them dead. Every young girl said Oh well. Here's for Dan but back. I know you are here now today. You don't get that Aaron. I really do but you've got to own it at at the time I've got your phone records here of you calling them. In the two time periods talking them through it walking them in. You knew they were coming to kill your family. Your father deserves that trump's I know it to be true. You know it to be true the prosecutors everybody knows does it to be true. But your father's in denial about it. He's outside all you know. She got caught up all this and she's a victim that's just simply about two cases. Are you a victim here. Did you mastermind. Oh I describe were you the motivating force behind this happening. If the motivating enforce a motivating force I probably add fuel to the fire. You wanted them.
"dr phil" Discussed on Analysis of Murder by Dr. Phil
"By all accounts here and Cathy was sweet so spoken sixteen year old. who had voice? It's like an angel. She was active in church. Sang in the choir and always had already if somewhat shy smile for everyone she meant she also instigated the murders of her entire family. You finally said okay. Go Kill my parents. My mother and my father woman brought me into the world. People that have fed me and closed slows me in house me and love me every day of my life. Sure go kill. That was from an interview that I conducted with Aaron Kathy and it wasn't just any interview that was the very first time since the murders that she had spoken about that brutal and disturbing tonight. It was in fact late into the night in the early hours of March. First two thousand eight when Erin and her girlfriend. Bobbi Johnson wanted in the car outside the Kathy. Home while inside. Aaron's Boyfriend Charlie Wilkinson and Charlie's hunting Buddy Charles Wade doc shot and stabbed Aaron's Mom Dad and two innocent younger brothers before leaving. They robbed the House and then set it on fire in the robbery yielded three hundred and seventy five dollars in change afterwards. The group drove around for a while. Then Aaron and Charlie left. They wanted to be alone to have sex to celebrate. So this guy that you say you're Kinda may be sorted in love with disc disc- kills your whole family. Then you have sex. What were you thinking and feeling about that I enjoy it? What Barron didn't realize at the time was her? Father Terry survived the terrible assault. That killed her mother penny and two younger brothers when I spoke with her and she admitted that she gave the okay to kill her family. Even though she says she thought Charlie and his friend were really going to follow through she had said. Just do it and watch them go into the house armed with a gun in Samurai swords but says she didn't really think they were going to do it. The apparent motive just days before the murders errands parents had told her she couldn't see Charleena more. Aaron told me that like many teenager. She was just venting when she said she wanted her. Your family killed that it was just and I quote a freedom thing and that she was simply caught up swept along in the events of that horrible night but is that true. I can tell you that numerous other say no way at the time. Aaron was never interviewed. Lead by police was never cross examined by a prosecutor but she gave me an exclusive interview from prison where I was the first person to ask her the tough questions questions at everyone including Terry her father had never ask. That's right. She had killed his wife and his two other children room but he had never been able to bring himself to ask her the hard questions. Even though he confessed to me that there were times he just wanted to grab have her and shake her and say what were you thinking. You'd never brought himself to be able to do them so yeah he wanted to hear the answer he wanted. Let me ask US questions. Although she's already revealed to me more than she's admitted to anyone else before there are still a lot more questions that need to be answered. We'll Aaron finally confessed to being the mastermind behind the murders of her mother and brothers. And there's a twist to this already shocking story. This may not have been the first time Erin as someone to kill her fan. You're listening to episode four of Love Family slaughtered for teen love mystery and murder analysis by Dr Phil Within Within Twenty. Four hours of that gruesome night all four defendants were in police custody. Initially all four were charged with capital murder but ultimately prosecutors. I did not seek the death penalty against Aaron said. She was only sixteen at the time for her part in the murders. Aaron could have received life without the possibility the of parole but she took a plea deal that will enable her to be eligible for parole when she turns fifty nine with father. Terry's stories permission and blessing. I met with Aaron in Gatesville Texas at the hilltop unit of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. My first question was about Out Terry now you learned that your father has survived where you more scared. You're more glad because you thought thought were called right. Did you think you're still going to get out of it. You personally or did you think. Take the boy. We're in trouble now. I WANNA point out here again that the emotional age of everybody involved here everyone involved in the commission of this crime was big factor. We're talking about emotionally immature. uh-huh emotionally unsophisticated cognitively underdeveloped individuals and as a result. When I asked Aaron a lot of questions it is not willing to step up and own her answers some of them she just can't or won't verbalize out loud? She just nods her head she does give an affirmative answer but she just nods her head. Her reaction is. I'm in trouble. That's what you think. Feel and say when you've got caught cutting class when you come in late two curfew when your grades weren't worth they were supposed host to be. I'm in trouble is not what you use to describe the gravity of the consequences when you have orchestrated the murder of your entire family. That seems to be incredibly trivializing the consequences of that evening an evening that ends with her having celebratory sex but her responses are what they are and I lit terry listened to what Aaron had to say. Last see what she's saying here. She is glad I'm alive. The she has apparent left. But I think she's also scared I'm busted will be will be found out everything that I've done. Because because at that point she knows I can't lie about this and get away with their coverage stuff up. This has been going on for over a month that we find out that they've been discussing this. I ask her. Why did you want your family dead? Was it because of freedom. And she says yeah maybe well certainly Charlie's a sociopathic type personality was very controlling. Always had no where she was. He tried to isolate her from her family and friends. And I believe that You know he was convinced her that you know. Your parents are too strict. You just you're you're they're not allowed. You have fun you know. Let's go out and have fun. Don't listen to them. They don't love you. I love you. And so she began to make one. Batch was after the other having a girl controlled by a boyfriend is nothing new but taking the steps to to plan out to murder her mother and father and two who little brothers. That's a huge leap from. I love you. They don't let's go kill them all. Remember the night of the murders. Aaron was laughing and joking with her family. In fact they had a pillow fight together and all the while. Aaron knew what was going to happen later that tonight she had actually helped plan the murders as you might expect. Harry had a hard time wrapping his head around that that sounds is to me. Astoundingly disconnect for her to be able to do that knowing what's going to happen. I think you've got the catalysts here of this teenage girl who has been making bachelors after bad choice. Bad choice is missing curfew. A bad choice is getting pregnant but executing a plan to murder your entire family bad choice. Just doesn't seem like big enough words to wrap around that according the Lead Prosecutor Assistant Attorney General Lisa Tanner. There was no doubt that if Aaron wasn't a driving force behind these murders than she was at least a co-driver ever. I only had a few hours there in the prison so I got right to the point. What is the truth about what happened that night I I knew about it and was okay with it? Just you knew they were going to kill him. What Aaron didn't know was that both Charles and Bobby had told investigators errands response to thinking? Her family was murdered. I played played. Charles Wade's police interrogation for Aaron to get her reaction.
"dr phil" Discussed on Analysis of Murder by Dr. Phil
"To say. She remained a complete mystery to him. And a half to say my. Hat's off to this counselor and you say that odd. He got nowhere with her and she manipulated him. So why hats off to the Kessler because this Kessler is being honest that this young girl was a complete mystery. He's not fainting some sort of inside Lider wizardry about her. He saying she's manipulative. She's got her guard up. She's not letting any one end and and I don't know any more about why she did what she did. After talking to her for a year that I did day one that takes courage to acknowledge and is often the case. When you're dealing with someone like this? So yeah my hats off to that counselor for his candor and straightforwardness mm-hmm errands actions were mystery to her father Terry as well. Although he was still alive he had lost his wife and in his two precious sons his home burned down to say he was suffering to say he had been through trauma to say his life had been turned wrong. Side out would be an understatement. The man was suffering six days after the murders Terry was released released from the hospital and he moved in with his sister's family. That to me is miracle the man had been shot shot multiple times had completely lost. The use of the right side of his body had crawled four hundred yards through a wooded area losing blood yet six days after he's released from the hospital. Excuse me the the desk Texas tough once. He moved in with his sister any head. Some time a low in some time to think that's what what had happened to. His family started to sink you. He knew what lie ahead for him he had to bury his wife and his two sons and had a daughter facing murder charges. Grief is one of the hardest things that we ever deal with in our life. It's not a mental illness. It's not depression. It's a whole other other thing all onto its own. Everybody grieves differently but it is always burdensome if you love and lose then it's painful in think about what Terry was having shoulder at this point first off. He's incapacitated he's been shot multiple times. He's lost his wife and he didn't just lose his wife. He lost her violently when we ranked the stressors that we face in our life loss of a loved one is at the top of the list and within that category sudden loss is at the top of the list and within that category violent sudden loss. Is that the absolute tip. Top of the list of stressors. Add to that that he had to witness it and you're now at the absolute edge of the cliff. Add to that that you were also violated yourself. Shot got injured incapacitated. And you've lost not one loved one but three and the fourth one is so complex. -Ly Interwoven that you don't know how to feel you. You don't know whether to be angry disappointed heartbroken. Empathetic you don't know how to feel about that. And that can be the most painful of all I was really interested to see things through. Terry's is at this point. I had the privilege of talking to him about that time in his life. I've got to the point. I just couldn't handle the pain anymore than I wanted to. Take my life on that very spot where I lost my family I remember. Shake him fist up toward God. I said God why would you take my family. They have a gun in my hand out of the corner by see a piece of paper flapping in there was a page out of a novel and it said I couldn't understand why. Oh you take my family leave behind the struggle on without them. The first line is all I can read feel. Here's that one single page came from a book called blind site. I never read the book but painting I knew this was certainly a message from God. That message was that I was going to be able to go on with life life and that there was a purpose. That's amazing. You believe that was a message from hit rock bottom. I mean I mean I thought my only solution to just take a life. You know the pain. I was dealing with all the depression. The anger the bitterness the rage. I just couldn't take it anymore Ju- not seeing that ED page flapping in the breeze. What you'd be dead? I believe me. So we'll is expected Terry was Hurting at many different levels on the one hand he seemed to be somewhat in denial and isolation Shen and. I'm not sure that was totally dysfunctional. Because I think he admitted everything into his consciousness if he took on the full weight and gravity of everything that had happened. It just might. Well overwhelm his coping. Energies I think he was taking this year. I think he was handling handling this digesting this at whatever pace whatever rate that he could and this is a process us and I knew after talking to him that he was going to be at this a good while. A Terry did make a recovery. Her he told me he took that piece of paper with him in framed it so he would always have it and he did something else. He went to visit Aaron in prison. Now think about this the emotional confusion that you would feel because here's someone that you have loved that you have protected that you have raised from an infant put your own flesh and blood and also it's the only family you have left. It's just you and her. That's all there is and so of course you have this connection but at the same same time. She's the reason she's the only one you have left. Because she killed all the rest of them so you're walking in to see ear and that paternal protection starts to bubble up but at the same time you just have have got to WANNA scream. What in the world are you thinking? How could you do this? You tried to murder me. He wanted wanted me dead. We had your mother killed your little brothers. Nothing to do with the one hand you just want to shake her in scream mm-hmm and on the other hand you're thinking she's so misguided that she needs someone to be there for so when Terry does go to Sierra and she tells him yet a third version of what had happened at night the first version two guys with swords get on the floor next thing. She knows she's disoriented and doesn't know how she got into this trailer. Her story number two Charlie has a violent temper. She believes he hired a hit man to kill her family. Here's version number. Three pre Eren admitted to her father that she and Charlie had planned to run away. She also told him that Charlie knew someone who could kill her parents for money any but to Aaron worn to think about it because there was quote too much going on remember said that people will make a confession and then they. It's what we call undoing. They will tell you yes I I was involved. No I wasn't yes I did know what was going on. Yes I was involved but only sort of. They tried to trivialize and confess at the same time they try to contextualized and minimize their involvement and end manipulate the situation. And if you let them talk long enough they'll wind up being a victim and here she is facing her father who is the ultimate accountability. Because she tried to have him killed eld and did have his entire family killed. So he's going to say okay. Here's the deal. We did talk about running.
"dr phil" Discussed on Analysis of Murder by Dr. Phil
"Now remember when deputies I found Erin trailer she appeared. Confused totally disoriented as if she had been drugged they considered her a victim and she was taken to the hospital piddle not the jail. She was taken to the hospital for a sexual assault examination while Aaron was getting checked out detect. These in the sheriff's Office had been questioning. Charlie and the small town began to learn the extent of what had taken place. What's Charlie Charlie knew that Terry had survived the attack and had identified him? Well at that point he just gave it up. He began to talk and he rolled right away on his beloved girlfriend. Erin Assistant Attorney General for the State of Texas Lisa. Tanner explains Swings while era was at the hospital. Charlie was at the sheriff's Office being questioned by detectives very early. They informed him. There had been a surviving victim and that he had been identified. As being one of the shooter's. He said that this had been errands idea and that she had wanted her parents dead. He had suggested suggested that Aaron just run away instead but Aaron's response to this was now just kill them. According to Charlie. He was reluctant to go. Oh through with the crime that night and it was Aaron. Who insisted he said? He warned her that night that anything he did would be on her show that it was her decision. All of this had come to light within hours of the murders all while Terry. Cathy was still fighting for his life remember. He had been shot multiple times and was in terrible condition so as the police were questioning. Charlie Terry was being rushed into surgery surgery and it was still touch and go. It was very unclear whether he would survive his life threatening injuries. Meanwhile so while all this is going on at the hospital and at the sheriff's Office. The town's volunteer firefighters had struggled all the night through to put out the planes lanes but by the time daybreak rolled around the caffey house had burned down to its foundation. It was just a smoldering heat but even then the physical evidence against Charlie appeared pretty damning. Although Charlie was in custody law enforcement was Leery of his statements the first they believed he might simply be trying to shift the blame from himself but the longer they questioned him the more. The pieces of that terrible terrible night seem to fall into place eventually. Implicated Charles Wade and Bobby Johnson. Charlie told the officers that he had asked Charles Swayed to help him and that he had promised two thousand dollars and that Charles Wave was behind on child support so he agreed to do it. Charlie told officers is that Bob Johnson was just along for the ride. Shortly after Charlie's interview included officers went out. Fine both Charles Wayne Bobby Johnson. There are two the new names in the investigation. Charles Wade in Bobby Johnson. Charlie's Hunting Buddy Charles Wade was twenty years old old and he was matthew wage younger brother. It was matthews trailer where investigators found Charlie and later. Erin that night. Bobby Johnson was Charlie. Wade's girlfriend and like Charlie. There was very little to indicate that either one of them would be capable of murder. Charles had been raised in a Christian home and he grew up going to church every Sunday. He married young and was already in the middle of a heated a divorce he and his wife had had a baby together that past September but a few months after that the couple had broken up according to his estranged strange wife. That's when Charles began to change. He wanted custody of his five month old daughter but needed cash to pay legal fees in his interview with investigators. Charles repeated that Charlie had told him that Charlie had promised to pay Charles two thousand dollars dollars to help kill. Aaron Cathy's parents. What was especially chilling was what he told him next? He said the night before. The killings the four Charles. Charlie bobby and Aaron had met and decided I did too. Just go into the House and quote take care of business the other accomplice. Charlie named eighteen year zero. Bobby Johnson was charlie wage girlfriend by all accounts. Bobby was a cheerful bubbly high school senior. who was really well liked? Bobby had been a good student and her teachers considered her. Someone who was bright articulate had a future but it seems like all her. Her good intentions went out the window when she fell in love with Charles way at the time bobby had been working at the local dairy queen. She'd been a good employee. Conscientious worker someone fun to be around but when she started dating Charles Wade everyone began noticing. assigment bobby didn't seem like herself not even close much like when Aaron met Charlie suddenly bobby became increasingly creasing Lee Moody. She didn't want to hang out with her friends. She was absent more and more from work. She was skipping school. And what was very unlike the bobby that everyone everyone had come to know. She just didn't seem to care. The deputies quickly picked up bobby outside work and he pulled Charles over grabbing. Bobby's car at the sheriff's Office said afternoon. Bobby played down in claims. She didn't know. Oh what the officers were talking about until they told her that Charles and Charlie were in custody at that point she just folded. She admitted everything she knew. Charles Wade held out the longest during interrogation in an interview with an East East Texas News station. Charles estranged wife said. He called her that Saturday the day of the murders later that night. She said she had texted did him but he never responded the next day. She saw his Mugshot in the newspaper. When Charles finally did admit what what had happened? Investigators said that he was almost casual talking about how he had killed the two young boys. I made the off handed comment a few minutes ago when I said everyone thought Charlie was a good guy. That isn't that almost almost always the case. And what I meant was when you hear about someone doing some horrific crime and you talk to the neighbors. It is not unusual for them to you. Say well he seemed like an okay guy to me. He was kind of quiet reserved. oftentimes you hear that I think old sayings get to be old sayings. Because they're profound such things like a stitch in time saves nine. Necessity is the mother of invention things like that one that really jumps out at me here is you can't judge a book by its cover. People didn't really we know Charlie all that will they just experienced him superficially so here we have three young adults all supposedly decent kids two of them. Active in the church raised by Christian families at least with Christian values but yet they have admitted to a serious crime. And when you take the words serious this crime away and describe what they actually did. Let's think about that. They went in someone's home and and shot them in. The face took a sword and hacked the woman in the neck to the point of almost almost decapitating her screaming. Die Bitch die and then shooting the husband in in the face and Torso Multiple Times. This was premeditated it wasn't likely went into the house. Got Surprised by the owners and had to fight their way out. They went in that house with a gun and a sword they were or not confronted. They found these people asleep in bed and shot them and hack them in their sleep. So this was premeditated -tated and very consciously decided upon and you can think okay. That's hard to understand her but was it. Something that was on impulse was Disa- crime of passion driven by a misguided love. But then you have to understand. They walked across the house and up the stairs and sought out to young boys and viciously cruelly murdered them. And you say well of course they couldn't leave witnesses behind. These boys. Were not witnesses. They were upstairs. You can't see through the floor. You can't can't see downstairs. These boys were upstairs and had they heard anything they were hiding. These were not witnesses so they methodically purposely crossed. The living area of the house went up the stairs and sought these defenceless young children out and murdered them viciously and cruelly and then the cover up was to set fire to the house. Killing the boys was not to protect their identity burning. The house was to cover their identity. Now the question becomes these boys went from no known violence to the most horrific personal up close violence. What's that you can imagine? This was not a drive by this was up close and personal. They went into the House of people they knew people they had talked to people. They'd had broken bread with people they had looked in the eye and hacked and shot and burned them to death now. Something is seriously seriously wrong when you go from nothing. Violent no stair steps to this level of violence the question becomes. How did you get there? Well clearly there's no moral.
"dr phil" Discussed on Analysis of Murder by Dr. Phil
"And murder the family but everything seemed to calm down in the cafe household for a few days and then march virtual round that night. There was only one officer on duty in the rains. County sheriff's office when the nine one one call came in just after four thirty in the morning. All the deputy new was that there had been shooting at the Kathy residents as he approached the coffee house. He could see that it was on fire and it had been burning for some time the structure was engulfed in flames and the roof had already begun to to buckle under its own weight. Deputy radioed his dispatcher to send out the county's Volunteer Fire Department and he hurried down the road to the neighbor's house. Because that's where the nine one one call had originated with. Tommy Gaston opened the door for the deputy. He immediately spotted Terry on the living room floor Terry had been shot a number of times times and his face and upper body were caked with blood. Frankly it did not look like he was GonNa make it later on. Tommy Gaston would tell people that he thought. It was a miracle that he was still alive as paramedics loaded terry into an ambulance he was in and out of consciousness but before the ambulance pulled away. He pointed wanted to figure it Charlie. The detectives were incredulous. Charlie had fish with their sons. The boys had all gone four wheeling together as a matter of fact on the way over up to the crime scene. One of the deputies even spotted Charlie's car parked outside of nearby trailer. This was such a small community. They even knew what Charlie had probably been doing at the trailer. Everybody knew Charlie sometimes hung out with his friend. Charles other brother so the boys could drink assistant attorney general for the State State of Texas. Lisa Taylor explains what happened next. Charlie Wilkinson was found within an hour or two of the murders laying on a mattress. In in the back of Charles Whites brothers trailer. They noticed pistol lane right by a hand which turned out to be the murder weapon. There were bullets ammunition found. They were about to let Charlie put his boots on and there were what appeared to be blood droplets on the booths. They took him in to custody right. Then with Charlie had custody at the county jail. The deputies obtained a warrant to search the trailer for any evidence that might tie Charlie to the Kathy crime scene by down. It was later in the day on Saturday. McAfee's house had burned to the foundation. Firefighters had begun sifting through the rubble and had pulled penny and the two boys boys bodies out of the fire but something was all as hard as the firefighters searched the wreckage. They could not find Aaron's body. There was no evidence that she had been in the house. Remember Terry had been so sure that his entire family had been murdered but now the police were looking at a very very different possibility. If Aaron hadn't been murdered had charlie been so obsessed with her that he had kidnapped her. was He hiding her somewhere. If that were the case it might still be possible to save her before. The deputies took another crack at interviewing Charlie. They returned to the trader to search for additional evidence inside they found spit shell-casing scattered across the carpet. It and when they picked up a black and white western shirt worn by Charlie. They found something else. They recently used used condom. It appeared that Charlie had been having sex with Aaron. If so we're wishing what had charlie early done with her. One of the officers was looking through piles of clothing and he came across what he thought was a large stuffed animal and when he touched the the hair he realized it was a human being and that was Aaron Kathy airings found under Apollo clothing by a closet. One of the back rooms of the trailer lane in a fetal position she. She appeared to be disoriented and she said where am I when officers attempted to ask her questions that said was fired. Barron was alive in police will begin to piece together. What they now thought had happened? The new theory was that Charlie had entered the coffee house the night before with the intention of murdering ordering errands family in duct air. And so he could have her to himself. Was this all because aired had told Charlie she wanted to break up with him. The deputies tried to questionnaire but she was confused it appeared that she might have been drugged. The belief was that she was a victim and so she was taken hike into the hospital for a sexual assault examination. One of the most striking things about Aaron says that she made reference to the fire on the house while she is in the house but she did not smell of smoke and all that lack of smokes mill will be important later but at the time it was just a passing thought. The important thing was the police had found Aaron and she was safe at the hospital and getting out while this was going on. Terry was at another hospital in serious condition. As he was being prepped to undergo surgery he learned the good news. If I was rushed into surgery. Last sister came to me and told me that my daughter Aaron was alive. Cadet add something to live for with all Terry had been through. At least he had his daughter. You have have to understand what Terry had been through at this point shot multiple times seen his wife nearly decapitated hearing his son's bleeding for their lives. As is there murdered fearing that. His daughter has been killed in in finely at least one piece of good news. His his daughter is alive and well as he rolls into surgery. He has someone to live for. He has someone to come out of that surgery and look forward to see his sweet and precious daughter so into surgery. He goes in the investigation. Will it just keeps rolling on while I was at the hospital. Charlie Charlie was at the sheriff's Office being questioned by detectives very early. They informed him. There had been a surviving victim and that he had been identified as being one of the shooter's once. Charlie knew he had been identified. It didn't take long before he caved what he told. Investigators turned their theories about what happened that night upside down at the time. This was the most disturbing case I had ever seen. You know none of this makes sense and even to this day. No it doesn't make any sense at all and it was senseless. Terry was right when he said he heard intruders. That's intruders were the S. There were others involved in the murders that night under questioning. Charlie identified them. And that's when the story takes an imaginable turn bird when the accomplices are brought. The detectives are once again stunned. How could these average of reach kids do something so horrible and why but there was an even bigger shock to come in separate interviews each of the conspirators? Say the same thing. I think that there was someone else. Involved someone who did not physically participate in the murders but who was the true driving force and that person was none other than the sweet innocent sixteen year old. Was this sweet. chiltern teenager actually the mastermind behind the murders of her mother and brothers or was this just pre agreed upon a tip to deflect blame. Well as you might expect.
"dr phil" Discussed on Analysis of Murder by Dr. Phil
"Hey I have a very special special presentation for you this week on mystery and murder analysis by Dr Phil. I always do a series. But I'm doing a one special presentation tation right now.
"dr phil" Discussed on Analysis of Murder by Dr. Phil
"Nine years have passed since seven year old. Kyron Horman went missing after after his elementary school science fair in Portland Oregon for years police Karen's mother Desharnais young and the nation have grappled grappled with what has become known as the largest most expensive criminal investigation case in Oregon's history mystery swirled around the seven year olds disappearance disappearance children don't just vanish into thin air on a typical school day and carbon was a happy child who certainly would have never run away at least according to his parents he was well behaved described by his parents is a bit timid scared to do things is by himself not the kind of child who ever caused trouble or would have dared to venture out into the unknown by himself. This was a crime story that had all the hallmarks elements that captured nationwide interest a missing sweet child a family drama that seems straight out out of the daytime soap opera in the stepmother who was suspected to be anything but the caring maternal figure. She presented herself to be now. Nearly a decade later. The media firestorm has halted news vans and camera crews no longer camp outside Sidecar in school or his parents homes the massive searches with volunteer crews of a thousand headwind. Mrs How many cases go when the news of a missing child I breaks the victim's face is plastered on newspaper covers distraught family members or interviews news correspondents co-respondents comment on their theories and on case developments and the parents town at least for a time hug their tildren just a little tighter at night reminded that right in their neighborhood a mother's worst nightmare has happened and that means means he could happen it in but life goes on the pandemonium stops and the initial sting of the story fades reformer fear that Karen's disappearance once caused the masses is now a hazy sad memory instead of current threat. The hush seems to have settled over the case for the past few years according to the sheriff's Office and desharnais herself. The case is still very much active but the trail seems to have gone cold or has it what keeps his case alive even more within the hardworking police is desharnais young's lifelong pursuit to find her son and to solve once and for all the question that haunts our every waking moment what on earth happened to her innocent little boy and is there any chance even the slightest remote chance that he might be still alive living somewhere else. There's a lot of talk doc when it comes to this case about the wicked stepmother. It's what makes for a headline story. The salacious details of a case are what attract public attention we know about. Terry's bizarre actions we know about these was our actions that are alleged to have happened. But what do they tell us us about who she really is. Then on the other end of the spectrum carbons mother de right as an example of the links apparent will go for their child. She's a fire that cannot be put out on this episode will explore the most recent developments in this this case that have given disarray hope that toll chirons disappearance and the dramatic investigation has taken on carbons family and what the future might might hold. Is there really any chance of still finding Kyron or has it come to the point that we're no longer looking for child. We're now looking for a body. This is Dr Phil and you're listening to industry and the mysterious disappearance of Kyron horman looking for ad free episodes of my podcast. You can listen to every new episode. Ad Free only on stitcher premium for a free month's trial stitcher premium go to stitcher premium. I'M DOT COM and use Promo code fill STITCHER PREMIUM DOT COM and use Promo Code P. H. I l. pod swag. Is Your one stop shop for podcasts merch like shirts hoodies mugs assessories and more you get thirty percent off with code fill bill thirty. That's pod SWAG DOT com slash. Dr Phil and use code fill thirty both local searches by thousands of volunteers and professional rescue teams have turned up nothing. I mean nothing in the endless endless years since the worst day of desert as life the day her son Kyron disappeared without a trace from his elementary school but Karen's mother refuses to give up ever since her son. Went Missing Desert Ray has often bravely ventured into the vast green forest of Oregon the herself joining crews who literally leave no stone unturned looking for that little boy or some clue of where he might have gone on and what may have happened to him. They're looking for him. They're looking for a threat of his clothing. They're looking for anything that might suggest a direction that he traveled or that. He may have been taken any clue any physical evidence by joining the search disarray. No she risked the unthinkable. I mean it's a parent's worst nightmare. Possibly finding her son's remains and knowing for certain that her child is dead. I mean think about it you go through the trauma and the shock of your child disappearing the agonizing weeks months and years of worry and wondering how horrific would it be for you to move some leaves or moves some branches or something that was stacked up and find your own child's body underneath it's almost unthinkable but yet she continues to put one foot in front of the other and look for what she both hopes and fears to find she has helped fellow searchers explore floor. Seemingly endless forest and streams desharnais has watched as a searcher finds alone article of abandoned clothing or even a remote bone. It's a pit in your stomach that never leaves not knowing if it's the bone of a wild animal or a piece of your missing sern learn and still as Reagan was looking for physical signs of carbon because not knowing where her son is in constantly wondering appears dead or alive is even more of a daily tour visit ray has to know and cannot bear the thought of living the rest of her life without knowing knowing what has become of Kyran because as the title implies he seemingly disappeared into thin there one moment he was there the next moment he was just gone. How can that what happened. His disappearance was a hurricane that ravaged desharnais interacts husband canes live the aftermath of their son's disappearance impacts packs them to this very day of course you've desert. Ray is the stoppable heroin of this story. The infamous character is allegedly Italy Terry and in the Court of public opinion many believe she is gilded in desert as mine. Terry areas guilty. If not of murder desharnais says Dan definitely of chirons kidnapping now while desert ray has spent the past years living a gut wrenching mystery. She believes that Terri knows exactly what happened. She believes that Terry can unlock this mystery tree that she knows where Kyron is. She knows what happened that she knows the answer to every question that haunts her disarray every minute of every day it's understandable why. Terry is a prime suspect in the eyes of the public and members of carbons family even to this day. We know she didn't do herself. Any favors in the wake of Kyran going missing. Terry slipped all too easily into the role of the lifetime movie villainess step mom some armchair detectives have even referred to her as the wicked red head of the northwest her actions before during and after Cairo disappearance showed a woman who seen vengeful and selfish elfish if you believed everything that was published if you connected the dots that were put out there. We know for example that she's a cheater. We know that she is someone who is hell bent on getting what she wants and has the kind of personality analogy that many described as someone that will not doubt anyone who dares get in her path. These are opinions so are they factual. We don't know.
"dr phil" Discussed on Analysis of Murder by Dr. Phil
"The only circumstantial evidence does raise lawyers had seemed to strengthen her defense her lawyer argued that the suspicious suspicious man in the white trunk the cell phone signal near Savi island the alleged murder for hire plot the DD allegedly buying an untraceable phone were nothing but fabrication spun by a Bias Media and an overworked sheriff's department all eager to find the perpetrator. That's not how the law works house. New Disarray would have an extremely difficult time attempting to prove Terry's culpability desharnais also alleged intentional infliction of emotional distress also very difficult to prove but with the claim of custodial interference evidence concerning Terry's neglect and history of alcoholism ism it could be argued but chirons life in danger on October. Fifth Twenty twelve the civil lawsuit against Terry brought forth by desharnais began one of the first people to be questioned with Didi Spicer who finally had the opportunity to tell her side of the story to court about where she really was on June fourth twenty ten from eleven thirty to one. PM This was her opportunity to set the record straight. Craig about allegedly purchasing traceable phone for Terry but instead DD plead the fifth two hundred and forty two times. She insisted that she was gardening in Germantown all morning long and beyond that invoked the Fifth Amendment to to many people it instantly raised a cloud of suspicion on whether or not she was telling the truth in response to D- pleading the fifth one hundred forty two times times desert as lawyer filed a motion it would force Didi to answer additional questions. He argued that Didi may not plead the fifth in in order to hide knowledge about a friend's criminal conduct desharnais in her lawyer had hoped to squeeze some kind of usable information or even even a confession out of Didi desharnais unfortunately was alone in his legal process in that she didn't have much of Cain support while they remained the united in front of the cameras privately. It was a very different story. CAIN was in the middle of two legal proceedings against against terry their divorce and acquiring her financial records he had little or no time to help desharnais and the truth is while desharnais actively actively assisted investigators cain was not as willing to cooperate for the past two years the sheriff's office scoured his home and checked every inch the property but that invitation only extended to the sheriff's Office to outside investigators not so much many people highly criticized Cain for this. He insisted that investigators are always welcome to search his home specifically as backyard but it's off limits to outside parties. It raises the question. Why would they not want as many forensic professionals to scour through his backyard as possible it was out of concern for privacy and because investigators had initially requested to search the backyard but to excavate it completely back where he drew the line. I have an open invitation with law enforcement and search and rescue teams certified search search and rescue teams to search my property anytime when I was called I said no to the private search but I immediately said and I will continue to say right now anytime time anytime the sheriff's office and the search and rescue teams WanNa come with their dogs. It's already my property qualify with my. He's been searched more than the schoolhouse. Probably Uh my invitation is open always open now to be clear. Disarray doesn't think that Cain had some involvement in terms disappearance but she does think that the backyard it could have been a place where Terry might have allegedly hid evidence great opportunity for Terry. She wouldn't have been seen by anybody doc. Some people took the position that if there was even a possibility that Terry hid evidence of Kyran in his backyard wouldn't it concerned concerned. Father had dug so deep until there wasn't even any dirt left. There was even the slightest change that chirons is remains are buried deep in the backyard. I wouldn't allow investigators to search it. Property claims you did claims it. His property had been searched more than the school but a thorough excavation never took place kate has his reasons but it continues to demonstrate an ongoing pattern of how a couple both his parents look would ask if she had failed tyronn. Dez Array Hill backer tears and nodded yes to hear apparent apparent admit that concerning missing child is absolutely heartbreaking. No parent should carry that no parent should have to endure that guilt aw for desert young there was a lot she needed to endure because the road ahead is going to get a lot harder before it got any easier for the remainder. You're of twenty twelve going in two thousand thirteen multiple lawsuits against Terry from Kane and Dez array remained stagnant. Neither party could prove Terry did anything. It was becoming increasingly difficult to land in indictment. The lawyers knew that to judge new jury knew that witnesses like Didi Spicer visor in Rudy Sanchez were cooperative to an extent refusing and claiming allegations that couldn't be corroborated. The allegations were nothing but he said she she said statements and hearings KIP getting delayed again and again and again while the court battles were going in circles the rising cost of lawyer. Oh you're fees just kept adding up the media circus wooden. Give them an answer privacy. Their lives are being exposed frequently on national television and even worse after three years since Kyron vanished the search effort. Nelly comprised of a few dozen volunteers was going nowhere. Desert was a realist even with charging Terry with custodial interference. It would have been a long shot before. The judge granted her ten million dollars in damages. She knew her lawsuit was not going to end the way she had hoped which is why she had to make difficult decision on. July thirtieth twenty thirteen desert and her lawyer held a press conference where she announced that she was going to drop her civil suit against Terri Horman her reasoning the lawsuit was not able to move forward without information that the sheriff's office would not release because of the ongoing investigation in her statement. She said this decision. Today does not mean that. I will be giving up looking for carbon. My will and determination nation has only strengthened over the past three years but despite disarray dropped her lawsuit Canes Court battle with her was still ongoing and neither of them. We're going to wave labor white flag. Terry May of moved away but in the coming years she would have to return to the spotlight and face a legal judgment swint her attorney may have done his best to delay subsequent hearings but the case against Terri Horman was just beginning. Did the judge successfully grant cain a divorce from Terry. Did the investigation reach a breaking point several years after carbon mysteriously disappeared and was was terry going to prison for her alleged involvement. These questions and more will be answered on next week's episode and trust me me. This is going to be one finale. You do not want to miss. This is into thin air. The mysterious disappearance of Kyron Horman Dr Phil thanks for Listening.
"dr phil" Discussed on Pardon My Take
"Gotcha Damn boom while Dr Phil Doctor Phil's softening N._F._l.. Dr Phil that was easy. I was really easy each good last question. Yeah you regret the fact that we both get last question. Both of you are on outer. All I seriously doubt. Did you have prescription. You know if you do you should not have pursued. Our minds work too fast. It's kind of scary over speeding the computer. When you get cooking biker crank right here? This is just this is good old fashioned three hours sleep baby. I do apologize for something because I was scheduled to do this in New York and I got stuck in ridiculous traffic <hes> and so I showed the plate so I said I will you said you were coming in. I said I'll do it. When we say something yeah so apologized that I wasn't here on time and I appreciate you guys coming here instead and how much you wish that we didn't reschedule how much you wish yes you know at the end? I was glad okay. I was glad that you came and I think this is very inventive that use no thank you are you. Are you going to spiral after this like. Is this going to be a do. We need to be out here. Happy Happy Muddle through. That's your six last like imagine. If we had a story tomorrow Dr Phil Spirals Thought in the back of a van by idiot's GonNa feel will be going. Oh we'll take so much back. One hundred six guys know this doctor us in the cease and desist letters. Throw it away the tracks right special middleman yeah exactly what your podcast plug it for worry sometimes multiple fill in the blanks which is interviewing smart and the name Yeah my son did that and then I've got Dr Phil Analysis of murder who announces a murder.
Julia Roberts and Spike Lee Among 2020 Walk of Fame Honorees
"The list of celebrities getting a star of the hollywood walk of fame next year it's been released thirty three honorees in twenty twenty julia roberts spike lee chris hemsworth fifty cents wendy williams dr phil and kathy lee gifford are among the celebrities getting dr even dr phil can give star on the hollywood walk holly here's the deal saudi is that if you are famous enough and you got thirty thousand dollars to spare they're going to give you a star on the hollywood walk of fame okay we're gonna talk about that off land it's a little for sale if you
Hollywood Walk of Fame's 2020 Class Revealed: Julia Roberts, Chris Hemsworth and More
"Julia roberts chris hit after octavia spencer are just a few of the celebrities who will have stars on the hollywood walk of fame the hollywood chamber of commerce has welcome selection committee announced yesterday the list of celebrities who will soon receive stars on or near hollywood boulevard this video paint got her star daytime stars dr phil and wendy williams are also on the list the dates of their ceremonies have not been announced yet again can't believe join Doesn't have a
Skin Cancer on the Rise
"Up. Here's a warning, if you're headed to the lake the ocean, or the pool this holiday weekend tested, that every hour, an American dies from skin cancer. Dr Leonard Lipton filled with the American Cancer Society skin cancer is the single most common cancer by a wide margin, this year alone estimates that there will be nearly seventy four thousand new cases of malignant melanoma, the most serious form of skin cancer to protect yourself. He says, we're sunscreen and reapply and don't get burned. Dr Phil says, if possible avoid the outdoors between ten AM and
Cybersecurity Workers Needed, No Experience Required.
"If you're in the job market, here's a prospect for you cybersecurity lack experience, not a problem companies like IBM in Palo Alto networks are scrambling to hire hundreds and thousands of corporate hackers, and they're casting a wider net in an effort to defend their networks and data more on this after these tech headlines. Uber priced its initial public offering at forty five dollars a share at that price. Uber would raise eight point one billion dollars and commando valuation of about eighty two billion dollars making it the largest US listed IPO since Alibaba went public in two thousand fourteen the pricing first reported by the Wall Street Journal on Thursday sets the stage for Uber's much-hyped trading. Start Friday in what the journal calls. The biggest moment in a year that could break records for peo- activity. Online at childcare marketplace care dot com. Plans to overhaul its business model and include in depth background checks for caregivers coming under scrutiny for its vetting practices care dot com will pay to conduct screening of caregivers on its site. The company also said it would display the date of the most recent check on caregivers profiles online, the enhancements. Follow an investigation by the Wall Street Journal that found the company performed limited vetting of caregivers care dot com. We'll begin implementing the screening enhancements in the next few months and additional improvements will be rolled out by the end of the year. And in a survey by PriceWaterHouse Coopers of more than ten thousand workers ninety percent of C, suite executives said, they paid attention to employ needs. When introducing new technology only about half of the workers. Agreed. However, researchers said a negative employee experience with new tech tools can have a ripple effect across a business and the economy in terms of lost productivity. So the company opted to give every employee a crash course in digital technology. One goal of the initiative is to give employees a better grasp of how digital tools work to find areas that can be improved with technology coming up get ready for an influx of cybersecurity jobs. No experience required. A blockchain smart cities. The digital transformation happening now makes the seemingly impossible doable at Deloitte, we help clients harnessed these powerful technologies to improve business and the world Deloitte dot com slash look again. Facing a shortage of skilled workers to defend against digital attackers. Employers like IBM and Palo Alto networks are pouring millions of dollars into new partnerships. The Wall Street Journal's Charlie Turner has more no experience. No problem companies are struggling to find workers to help them keep computer networks and customer data safe. There are hundreds of thousands of open cybersecurity jobs in the US and employers are casting a wider net to find and develop experts. Let's find out more about this from the Wall Street Journal's Kelsey g so Kelsey does. This mean, a person doesn't necessarily have to have a computer related four year degree or work related experience. Yeah, that's exactly what it means at this is one of my favorite trends that we've seen from the tight labor market employers can no longer be greedy. When it comes to who they hire. And how many years of experience are what -cational decrees they. Require for all kinds of jobs. They really badly need to fill and especially in sectors, like cyber security that have grown really really quickly and have, you know, hundreds of thousands of open positions. Lots of people are getting jobs who never went to college. I single day in their life. The job seekers market has extended into tech. And specifically cybersecurity you mentioned in your story efforts by two companies IBM and Palo Alto networks to attract talent. Why don't you go into what they're doing? Those are two companies that have both partnered with universities in order to help build out the curriculum for cybersecurity degrees, but also built their own training programs for folks who are not, you know, in the middle of their college years, but who may be interested in getting a job as a hacker or as Ashley Richardson in our story who was working as a training engineer. This is all really interesting stuff because these are jobs that didn't exist. You know, five or ten years ago, even so it's difficult to ask universities to on their own build out from their computer science department or from their engineering department, a whole new subsector of classes and faculty experience research into this area. That would really prepare students for these jobs. So you talk about IBM they've developed a division headed by this, man. Charles Henderson, and the division is dubbed x force read, and it's charged with really hacking. I guess breaking into corporate customers late, a smart, watches and appliances and looking to spot potential vulnerabilities before the hackers do. And you know, the people that they're hiring are people that you would not expect. Yeah. I mean, it may sound naive. But I didn't even realize that corporate hacker was a job that you could apply for, you know, it was so funny to me when he said, you know, this is a really hard Dr Phil because there aren't things that you can put on your resume or. Even your website. You know, that you have with all of your clips and all of your experience credentials and stuff to show that you've broken into a Bank before or that, you know, how to hack into the floor would probably hire that person. Right. Exactly. And it makes total business too. That companies would want to get ahead of, you know, say there's some data breach that they're worried about what their new like smart teapot, or, you know, like smartwatch or whatever. What happens all that data who's making sure that all of that user
Chris Watts drove 45 minutes with daughters and dead wife
"There are new details in how Collorado man killed his pregnant wife and his kids serving a life sentence for the murders of his wife and their two young daughters. Last August in suburban Denver. Christopher watts reportedly Sharon graphic details. Stephen liberate, the lawyer for wife should watts family L. The Dr Phil show says they've been told that what says he strangled his wife in their home, the drove her body and their two daughters to an oilfield where he worked he smothered three-year-old Celeste with her favorite blanket, while her older sister watched then four-year-old Bela pleaded for her life at that point villa said, please. Daddy. Do not do to me. What you just did to see see the please invade the girls bodies filed in an oil storage tank. The wife buried in a
RAIN Podcast Business Summit is next week
"The rain podcast business summit is next Tuesday in New York in the US focusing on unlocking the podcast mainstream. There are great speakers including Google's Zach Renault. We dean NPR's Joel Zukerman. And Edison research is Tom Webster will be there. And you can be too. We give you a pod news exclusive link to get fifty percent off the ticket price in our show notes and in our newsletter. Spotify once a senior development executive to oversee our exclusive content strategy they say for the sports category. Dr Phil wants to produce a true crime podcast. He's already producing fill in the blanks and apparently apple flew some of its staff in to help his team launch. It wondering has launched wondering plus promising early access ad free listening and exclusive content for five dollars a month. Seth Godin lists five reasons you might want to. To start a podcast. Interestingly none of the reasons or anything to do with the listener IVA cts, a Spanish podcast host has managed to temporarily. Extend a license it has with the Spanish music industry to let you use commercial music on their podcasts. As we go to press global, the largest commercial radio company in the UK have announced plans to make over one hundred radio presenters redundant by networking breakfast shows across the country and some drive shows to Marco Armand has accused NPR of being quote empty and naive about the aims of their Bryant podcast analytics program and claimed it's all about ad tracking. And Joan Warner commercial radio. Australia's CEO has responded to our editors comments yesterday. They mine are submission. She says does not propose restricted access to podcasts podcasting has grown and thrived because of access via a multitude of third party podcast. Apps this quote directly contradicts her quote, which we published yesterday in our newsletter. And in our show notes, we publish three podcasts, including should this exist scam while and pod runner who workout music podcasts. Celebrating thirteen years as a podcast this week.
7 Secrets to a Long-Lasting Relationship
"Hi, everyone and welcome back to savvy psychologist, I'm Dr Ellen Hendrickson, and you know, the drill. Al hope you meet life's challenges with evidence based research a sympathetic ear and zero judgment. And as you can probably hear this week. I am getting over a cold. I feel fine. But my voice insists on doing its best impression of a frog. In the meantime, so hang in there with me. And here we go. So today's episode is brought to you by the new podcast fill in the blanks. You know, Dr Phil one of Oprah's most famous friends and frequent collaborators and now you can hear a whole new side of him with his podcast fill in the blanks. That's Phil PH L. So here all new no-holds-barred conversations with celebrities like Vivica, a FOX Kathy Bates and Steve Harvey, plus expert neurosurgeons and lifespan. There's so listen to fill in the blanks on your favorite podcast app, and be sure to subscribe. So this week. Let's talk about how to make a relationship last. 'cause Melwood may have brought you together. But after the clergyman with the speech, impediment instructs you to treasurer your love what next. Well, whether you're married cohabitating or simply in it for the long haul any committed relationship needs a few tools to make it through the years. So this week here are seven. Science back secrets to make your long term relationship. Feel more. Like our Bruno Mars, Mary you flash mob and less like the theme song from married with children. So let's start out with secret number one, which is be your own person. Okay. So before sharing your life with another adult. It's important to have spent some time adulting yourself, you don't have to have your life cross indexed color coded, but it is important to have separated in a healthy way from your family of origin. So if your alarm clock is a phone, call from mom, or you don't get know how to do your own laundry. Invest the time to get your life on solid footing before merging it with another humans. Secret. Number two is be a team. Now. Some problems seem on solvable a fundamental difference in parenting styles in curable, slobby tude or opposite values around money. But the least constructive approach to sticky problems is to blame each other and fight it out. So instead, try and approach called unified detachment unified detachment is a fundamental shift in perspective that joins you and your partner together against the problem. So rather than approaching a problem as you against your crazy unreasonable partner approach the situation as the two of you United against the challenge. So for example, what should we do to save money for the future or how can we work together to fight less secret? Number three is outweighed the negatives with positives. So a classic study out of the university of Washington asked heterosexual newly. Lead couples to discuss a hot button issue in their relationship for fifteen minutes, and the headline making results found that divorce could be predicted from just the first three minutes of the couple's argument and the key. It turned out was the balance of negative and positive interactions. So in their three minute discussion clips spouses in stable relationships, not careening towards divorce predictably display, the less negative affect like contempt. Belligerence anger defensiveness or whining and more positive affect like validation affection and humor. All right. That makes sense. But interestingly for the husband's examining, the entire fifteen minutes of the argument amplified the ability to predict divorce so over the course of the fifteen minutes, husbands in stable, marriages got a little more negative, but they simultaneously stayed positive always making jokes listening and being affectionate. By contrast, husbands in marriages that would eventually end in divorce got increasingly negative and less positive over the fifteen minutes by the end calling their spouse by cute, nickname or validating. Her viewpoint. Went out the window now later the same research lab developed the magic ratio for a healthy relationship for every negative interaction. They advise you need five positive interactions. In other words, stable couples do argue, but that arguing is filled with joking and teasing and listening and love. Secret. Number four be equal a study in the American journal of sociology found that couples it gala -tarian relationships are less likely to divorce than couples where one brings home the bacon and the other cooks it up. So how do you make things more gala -tarian? It's not as simple as splitting up the chores along traditional gender lines. Because a study in the journal marriage and family review differentiated between low control and high control tasks now, low control tasks are named as such because there is little control or choice in the matter. They have to be done more or less continuously like loading and unloading, the dishwasher at specific times like making dinner or on demand. Like changing a diaper, high control tasks by contrast can be done when it's convenient. And they have a specific beginning and end like mowing the lawn or doing a home repair. So traditionally low control tasks have been designated as women's while high control. Tasks have been labelled as men's therefore to increase gala terrorism. Take a page from many same sex relationships and divvy up tasks by interest and value rather than by gender. So for example, the social butterfly takes responsibility for play dates and social events, the foodie makes dinner or does the grocery shopping, and the tasks no one wants, well, you have three options outsource work around because no one has to water plants if you don't have any or divide them up, and even if the dividing ends up falling along gender lines as long as you decided on those assignments together you'll go a long way towards shrinking resent. Now as a PS in families with kids. There's an avalanche of kid related invisible. Labor scheduling play dates, researching pediatricians ordering soccer uniforms and then returning them when they don't fit and in heterosexual relationships this keeping track of. A thousand and one things usually falls to the woman. So how does this get started? Well, it's been argued that it partially starts with maternity leave. It takes time and practice to gain expertise in task. So when mom's are given a leave of absence, but dads are not mom's gained singular expertise during those hundreds of hours with baby. And then that gap never gets closed. The solution paternal leave. Indeed Pew Research survey found that sixty nine percent of Americans believe fathers should receive paid parental leave which would help level the playing field. So if your job offers, parental leave not just maternity leave take full advantage. And if it doesn't do your best to divide up kid tasks evenly from day one. Annalong gourmet cookware can bring your inspiration to life on the dinner table. Whether you're a gourmet cook or bake off where the Baker they've got you covered with everything from expertly crafted cookware bakeware, cast iron stoneware cutlery, tools and gadgets. So you might try the analog advanced collection. It's twice as hard as stainless steel and with nonstick surfaces. It's easy to clean or you could try out the new Vel copper looks collection with a copper based that looks beautiful and functions perfectly whatever collection you choose you can rest easy. Knowing your gourmet cookware will last for years to come all analog products are protected with a lifetime warranty. So I use analog cookware everyday it heats quickly and evenly. Never sticks and clean up. Is shockingly easy. Perfect for everything from quick scrambled eggs to homemade stock that simmers for a couple of days. So shop an-and at Macy's in store, or at least dot com analog. That's an oh L O N designed for creativity in the kitchen. Today's episode is sponsored by blinking. I the only app that condenses thousands of nonfiction books into the best key takeaways and need to know information. So you can read or listen to them in just fifteen minutes their library is massive and constantly growing with titles, including self help business health and history titles. I'm excited to read like the art of happiness by the Dalai Lama or happier at home by Gretchen Rubin plus classics like how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie blinking makes it easy to get the key essentials from book during a short commute, a workout or while cooking or cleaning. So join the eight million people were using it already. For a limited time blinking has a special offer. Just for you. Go to blinking dot com slash savvy to start your free seven-day trial. That's blinking B. L I N K I S T dot com slash savvy to start your seven-day trial linka stop. Com slash savvy. Next secret number five, expect a lot of your partner. But not what they can't give you. So while fairytale expectations are bound to be disappointing. A study in the journal of personality and social psychology found that marriages stay happy with a magic combination of high expectations and partners ability to reach them. So in the study couples were asked about their expectations of their relationship and next they were asked to come into the lab identify point of conflict in their relationship and work towards a solution. And researchers watched each partner argue and noted when they avoided the topic criticized or faulted, the other shirked responsibility made presumptions or were hostile. So by contrast. Researchers also noted when partner stayed on topic and furthered the resolution now when individuals had high expectations of the relationship and. Their partners could deliver that match of expectations and ability made for a happier relationship, but not everyone can rise to meet expectations when individuals had high expectations, but their partners how lousy communication skills or dirty those same high expectations set the couple up for disappointment. So the take home is expect a lot of your partner. But only what they're capable of. Secret number six is lie to yourself a little. So remember when you first fell in love, and you thought your partner was the greatest the cutest, the smartest keep them on that pedestal at least