19 Episode results for "Dr Patty"

Communication in the Work Place: How Can Improved Communication Save Your Company Millions of Dollars? With Guest Dr Patty Malone

OC Talk Radio

1:00:13 hr | 2 years ago

Communication in the Work Place: How Can Improved Communication Save Your Company Millions of Dollars? With Guest Dr Patty Malone

"Right now you can get both sprints unlimited plan and the all new Samsung Galaxy S. ten included for just thirty five dollars per month per line for five lines. All you need is approved credit ended eighteen month lease no trade in required visit sprint outdoor sprint dot com or call eight hundred sprint one as two hundred twenty eight gigabyte to nose between credited within two bills or tent overly amounts to basic ninety twenty eight thirty two with autopay data to position to projections onto restrictions apply on today's show. We Dr Patty Malone. She's the leader of the clear Communication Institute in Patty is a leading Doria communication or place. She's committed to helping organizations she out Oh for results increasing their productivity and profitability to clear in productive communications addy Ghana confident are a lot thank you. I'm happy to be here or we're glad to have you on you have quite the background here twenty five years of experience in the field of communication as a corporate trainer speaker in a TV news anchor and you now have a p._H._d.. In Communication Asian and you teach to California universities including the University of California Irvine and can you share with the audience <hes> what what does it clear Communication Institute do House unique. Well we go into companies to help them clear up their communication because almost all organizational problems today the source is a breakdown in communications and a lot of people don't realize that so they try and fix the symptom dumb but the result is rather than going to the root of the cause which is communication breakdown and communication is really a costly problem if you're not using it correctly and that's something else. That's a little bit unique. I don't see communication communication as justice off. He'll I see it as something that has a direct and major impact on companies bottom lines and let me just give you one quick example what I mean so great NASA ended up okay NASA ended ended up spending three hundred million dollars too much on the Mars probe because one team measured in inches and the other incentive meters and that's just one example the difference because people say we got a communication allegation <unk> famous from Google and Luke we will we have here is a failure communicate. What is that okay what does that? They didn't communicate one team to start doing their own thing and one team. Do they know exactly exactly they. Each did their own thing you know the silos and bridge the gaps across silos start communicating with each other. That's exactly what happened. They both just started doing their own thing and there was a complete there was no communication systems the bridge the departments the teams that would keep them in communication with each other so they would know what each other was doing and look at how costly that mistake was. I mean they didn't discover it. Jill it was way hey down the line and that happens all the time and that's like a big example that we see every day in the workplace so I can give you a few other examples of communication breakdown. It's like that there was a company I was working with a few years ago and one team made a change that impacted everyone else in the company but they did not bother to tell them so the sales team found out from clients when they were out in the field and they were so embarrassed embarrassed because they felt like they should know what's going on in their own company and they've got their clients telling them about this change. Another team sent in a project that they've been working on for months the same way they've been doing it for years and this team that made the change so we're not taking those anymore. They're like well when we were going to tell us they are very costly costly communication mistakes when teams don't communicate with each other so that's another example of when and how all that happens and that's a big thing today so much like team management flat organizations you really need to have those cross functional teams where you're keeping each other appraised of what's happening and finding out what what impact it's going to have another team. He changed that you make your own people get into these silos. They're very concerned with their own priorities which is understandable but you've gotta have the big picture and recognized that all the teams are like pieces in a puzzle. It's got a big picture and get everybody rowing in the same direction about have each team doing its own thing with no communication which also leads to things like bad morale conflict unhappy customers unhappy employees that don't want to go to work yeah. It's it's almost like it creates function within within the group in refined when you say communication it can be will people can talk to each other who I find is is a lot of times it's they a there's unanswered questions within an organization. Take Nasa an answer the question inches or meters and yeah so somebody filled in the gap and there ask you. How do you answer important questions because a lot of times people just assume the answer is self evident but it's not right that's right? Have you seen any good ways out how <unk> out can keep on truckin organization leader no he would what questions answered or what questions might be answered differently by different departments are there is that what you do and working with organizations it now that's part of it definitely and one thing is to develop a cross functional team with a person from each like a leader from each department that has regular meetings not those random meetings where people are just going around in circles and waste wasted a Lotta time but really to keep each other informed of anything any changes that they've made that they're considering making and getting feedback. You know what what impact this is going to have on your department. Do you like this idea. Do you have any input. Do you have any suggestions how how we might do this differently or do you see any problems with us and to start doing that. On a regular basis that doesn't mean it has to be like every week or anything like that but maybe every couple of months or maybe once a quarter and to keep those lines of Communication Asian Open. If something comes up in between the meetings just shoot a quick email to the other members of that cross functional team and say look this is coming up. Is this something that we need to meet about or can we just have a discussion about it over email or even like a phone conference but the she to it is to keep everybody appraised of what's going on and also to ask the question besides what impact at this point you have a new but what do you need help with you. Know what things can we do to make your life and job easier. How can we contribute to you if you're making some kind of a change or you're considering some other approach to helping other than the way that you enjoying it so in other words not just to have your own team or departments priorities top of mind which of course they're going to be that that's necessary jerry but to also check in with the others who are likely going to be impacted and I think that's such a big problem with companies today is there aren't doing that? They're kind of in their silos and they're off doing their own thing and then there's a lot of animosity and resent eh to between teams or across teams and departments and then they don't want to communicate with each other and then that turns into like blaming things fall through the cracks. There's delays there's repetition you know people start going into either less not my job aw they're supposed to do that or territoriality where two people are doing the same thing. It's like what they're not supposed to do that. That's my job so there's so many issues that can result from those is some of this some issues as come from the fact that people can send an email and anals communicated it to the team. That's a problem almost coding computer by Senate instruction the rest of the team they got it. No put it in the right sequential order and it'll be carried out like the machine that reaches punched in some code and Senate is at creating more issues than when before I can actually remember. We didn't have email and you actually call some undergo C._O.. Or write them something and that's some effort so you you kinda focused on making sure you were clear. I remember writing business letters but it is that Zach contributing this environment of <hes> definitely definitely contributing email. That's that's really like another whole topic onto itself self. I do tire trading on emails. What's appropriate much inappropriate? That's really not the purpose of emails emails are just just said something very short like our meetings postponed from June until three or like some Rach relations and praise you know a great the job you did this morning with that irate customer those types of things anything people are GonNa have to scroll through. They're not gonna read all that stuff. They just arch and they're not going to answer a lot of questions if somebody sent an email with a bunch of questions they're not going to do that either. Emails are primarily one way communication and it's such a mistake there's so much of that and it could be through email or it could be like a memo top down communication but where there's no loop it's just going one way and there's so many problems with that because it's so easy to misinterpret it and with those emails they keep getting forwarded to other people and the whole meaning gets lost and a lot of times people are using different jargon like different departments use different language different acronyms different check the language other departments. Don't understand that it's people are so used to speaking to their peers in their own lingo and they don't even think about it when they're talking to stakeholders or they're talking to other departments if I've actually gone in and trained companies that were having problems with that they were speaking too complex or too technically and no they couldn't train these people. They're trying to train people how to use software and nobody could under stand them so it really needs to be two way. I chat tell you how many times people will do that even face to face the walk up to somebody and say okay. This is where we're going to do now. You're going to do BUBBA BUBBA Bubba Bubba Bubba Blah and then they turn around and leave. They think well I've I'm done. I've communicated no. Do you have not communicated unless the other person or the other group or team understood what you said the way that you intended for them to understand it. Both sides need to understand the message and that's a huge reason for the breakdown. Is that one way a communication people think they've communicated and they have an here's my favorite quote. That's perfect for that. I know you believe you understand what you think. I said when I'm not sure you realize is what you heard is not what I met catch more time I think I know you believe you understand what you think I said but I'm not sure you realize is what you heard is not when I met misinterpretations misunderstandings Ms Hogg options. How do you come that is? Is there some exercises now. Is there some follow up questions or yeah mainly what you really need to do and this is a huge problem. People don't listen. We actually don't listen seventy five percent of the time and that's a big issue so what we need to do is the minute we start drifting. We need to catch ourselves and bring ourselves back to the conversation and that's one prime time when it's likely to happen if you're talking to somebody who's speaking to you and some kind of complex language and you don't understand what they're talking about is start drifting so we need to catch ourselves and bring ourselves back and ask questions and if there for example there speaking in complex firms just say something like you know. I really want to understand what you're saying but I'm having trouble following you. Is there another way you could say that might be a little bit simpler since I'm not a technological person the technical person or whatever and then start and then usually ninety percent of the time they're more than happy to do that because then they know you're genuinely interested in hearing them listening to them learning what they have to say and <hes> mastering whatever it is they're trying to explain to you or or to teach you so it's a matter of listening and for both people on both sides to ask question. That's another key so if we're the ones who are listening and we're receiving maybe some new information new policy or a a new way to do something and we're listening. We need to ask questions to make sure we understand what the other person is saying. The were on the same page because so often we don't they leave and we think we've got it. We reach a certain point and then realize we don't don't know what we're supposed to do next. The same is true the other way around if you're explaining something to somebody they may not ask wash ideally they would if they really WANNA communicate but they may not they may either feel like they should already know that or they're going to look stupid or maybe they're just shy. If they're not asking and you explain something to somebody you actually need to ask them questions to make sure they did actually get what you said and it can be a simple question just like would you mind repeating back to me. What you just heard me saying your own words? I JUST WANNA make sure we're on the same page and do it with a smile not like you're trying to put them on the defensive or choose them of anything and that can clear up so many issues that's kind of the keys to the kingdom you're responsible for both sides of the communication whether you're the listener or the speaker to make sure as the speaker the other person gets it to make sure as the listener that you get in today's environment the this speaker who's trying to convey the information. You're trying to say is they. Have they have the breakthrough as well as the receiver of the information. They actually verified that it's jetting for exactly it is it is it harder nowadays is is that part of the problem well. I would say it's harder or more challenging in terms of we are so busy you know busy in today's business world of do more faster faster better with less people are always under a lot of pressure for time. I don't have time and unfortunately they think of communication as this takes too much time I just wanna cut to the chase and I don't want to deal with these questions and and back and forth north ultimately in the long run for example if national had done that they would have saved themselves three hundred million dollars. Yes it may take a little bit longer but the results are so much better than it's worth it right. So how did you end up studying in this field focusing all your efforts on it. Actually there was a couple of things that contributed to the I was I was working in corporate America and I was producing an anchoring inhouse house corporate newscast and I needed to I worked for two departments the video production as well as public affairs and I needed to get both department heads approval before I could send it out to divisions around the country little did I know when I was hired that these two had not been speaking for like ten years there was this ongoing feud this conflict on so I would go to one of them for approval they would give it then I would go to the other for approval and he would not give it simply because the first one had so then I'd have to make changes to make that one happy I'd go back to the other person and then they would say no because the other person had said yes and as I'm doing this. I'm thinking Oh my gosh you know this company is wasting thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars sending me back and forth because 'cause they WANNA be right. They don't want to agree with each other. They won't communicate or they're out to get each other all negative toxic stuff and it was poisoning both departments and I thought you know this is too toxic for me. I only stayed one year. I just didn't want to be in that environment any longer so I left but that started me thinking about this dysfunctional communication communication breakdowns lack of communication then I also worked in T._V.. News for ten years and I was a T._v.. News anchor but before he became at anchor my first T._v.. Job I was hired. You run the cameras in the studio and chew the anchors and those types of things well an opening up for an unjam person not an anchor reporter and I was not going to apply apply for it. I was too new so I I was done the picture but I saw what was going on and these two people at the station were going up against each other for this physician. One of them sabotage the microphone when the other one went out on her audition so she came back with no audio and I was horrified. I thought why would somebody do that. Can't they just rely on their own skills and talents your why why would this happen and then a big huge conflict erupted afterwards of course it was just a disaster. Neither one of them got hired by the way those kind of tactics don't usually pay off but that really got me thinking about you know. There's a better way to approach things so people aren't going up against each other. They're not attacking each other. They're they're not being backstabbing stabbing and <hes> getting into conflict there also communicating not doing that stonewalling thing nobody's speaking to each other and wasting tons of time and tons of money because of all these communication breakdowns so those are a couple of incidents that really prompted me to go back to school to get my masters and P._H._d.. To study that to study dysfunctional communication in the workplace my dissertation was actually on N._B._N.. backstabbing in the workplace and then my master's thesis was on conflict so I I researched and studied a lot of this impact. I ended up doing a thousand surveys to get responses to some of the questions about backstabbing an N. B. in the workplace and then what's I did that and I actually the insights there with the research. The insights were first of all there were certain things that were more common than others in terms of like what triggered envy and what triggered backstabbing there were different ways of backstabbing and then there were different ways that people responded to backstabbing like if they communicated if they complained to somebody else if they tried to backstab back or if they went confronted the person or if they went and complained to the boss there is different categories for all of these different types of things things but my main purpose in everything that I was doing was I thought I really WANNA go back into corporate America because there's so many people they're they're walking around the halls of Corporate America like zombies they they don't know how to communicate they don't oh how to connect with each other and they're miserable. They hate going to work and I thought I want to transform communication in corporate America. I want people to be happy and excited to go to work and to do a great job and to be able to communicate with each other. Without things descending into conflict or people bullying people you know bad behaviors on the job and all of that stuff any of those things the backstabbing the bullying the conflict in so that ends up wasting time time and money what are some of the techniques that you teach your can give an example of someone you know working with someone where they're having either stonewalling or or the backstabbing an issue. There's a lot of <laughter>. There's there's a lot of there's so many of those there's like a million stories of those but <hes> the most common ones tend to be things like lying you know lying to somebody or lying about somebody or spreading being untrue rumors <hes> here's an this is an interesting kind of an example. This is a little bit different rather than co worker to co worker. This was a boss to an employee. This person got hired to work. GotTa love her and as she was being hired she told them that she was getting married and six months and they already had paid it was a distance wedding or she would need a week off. Everything was paid for invitation. Everything was set and and they said well. That's OK. We'll we'll give you that week off so because of that. She was very excited. Happy took the job and she was working late hours and coming in and weekends doing a lot of extra overtime as grateful she was grateful April. They were GonNa remember this opportunity but then as the date approached and she told them they said well. We never said that we would never hire somebody and tell them they can have a week off in six months and so she quit needless to say when I had got married but she loved that job but that's <hes> that's a situation and this frequently happens. There's either a feeling of something they were wrought. You know somebody did something that was wrong. It's a judgment that they were wronged in some way and it could be real like in that case that actually happened or it could be perceived. They may have perceived that they were promised a raise or a promotion and then somebody else gets it and they don't and they don't know why nobody explains anything to them in in some cases here there's there's another one one person found out that they were being fired because they posted on the bulletin board on the break room an opening for her job. That's how she found out. Nobody talked to her again. It all goes back to this lack of communication not yes only what's going on. What would the solution be with that wedding situation how would you how would you approach that company? In in avoiding in the future I would say just to make sure that you've got everything in writing and that everybody that a lot of people are aware of the agreement not that it's between two people and then it's a he said she said type of thing. Put it in writing. Everybody's Buddy's got copies and make sure you just kind of let everybody know what's going on. That's kind of the same thing when somebody like takes credit for your work or or you know steals your idea and takes credit for it. If you've got an idea or something like that you we WanNa make sure that you put it out there to number of people so they know where the idea came from and the person who's doing the backstabbing can't pretend to came from them because other people already know about it. There's a number of different things that people can do to kind of protect themselves from those types of things things and and to deal with them. Effectively is that we towards more <hes> a C._Y._A.. Type of environment versus a collaborative communicating communicating environment NASA GOV say hey one of sent an email and said it would be inches. I missed that email. How do you not still actually jetting through is it is <hes> is it revisiting order things on a regular basis the yeah yeah keep those communication channels open and continually touch base to make sure everybody's on the same page nothing's changed or somebody hasn't suddenly started going off in their own direction doing something that everybody didn't agree to thinking? Don't think oh I can save some time or I could make this federal just do this. I don't need to tell anybody no. Actually you do well. Let's take in we'll continue. There is a magazine that accompanies this show so if you WANNA stay up to date on the latest ideas and trends you don't have to just tune in every week you can turn onto the new magazine magazine that accompanies at confident are discover the right tool to improve your company and read articles like the one in the latest issue from Verne Harnish the famous Verne Harnish strategy or top grading with Dr Brad Smart is even a cure for your hiring headache in there and even information on systems like the U._S. system than we've talked about so many others <hes> times here on this show and others all of that and more you can read confidently to find out real life tools to improve your company and take it to the next level. Just go find it is free. That's right the four letter word F. R. E. E. AT confident R._O._I.. Dot Com just like it sounds confident are oh ooh thank you all and before the break we were talking about our research in communication in her dissertation and Gender Doctor Degree in communication and in envying backstabbing is almost like living in the court of the English monarchy back in the day or or maybe today but Dr Patty before we move on from your alad to go back. Get your research and what else did you find there and whether any stories you can share with without people can deal with this real issue of it's been around for a Millennium Williams. There's another for example the POPs to mind of somebody that I interviewed and he was <hes> an e._M._t.. Trainer so you know he'd been emergency medical technician and he his job was to be an instructor and teach other other people how to do the same thing well in this one particular classroom. This student got irate but something that he said he got it started arguing with him and he came up and actually physically assaulted him. He physically attacked him at the front of the room and then army out of the classroom so the instructor went to his boss and said you know this is what happened in the boss said don't worry he's history. He is out of the school well a couple of days later. The students shows back up in his class house. So the instructor was horrified. He went back with bosses like but happen and the boss said Oh will we looked at our budget and we need his tuition so we decided to let him stay. Oh my goodness I know it's like you and he quit he left and and that's typically what happens when people are the recipients of things like that and their boss or their company doesn't back them up you know doesn't have their back. They will typically leave and then that costs the company a lot to replace some retrain New People. It's it's really just not worth it so it's very helpful for employees to have their I mean for employers to have their employees backs and to really back them up and give them recognition initiative and praise and appreciation which also doesn't happen enough in fact a Gallup poll of one million workers in the United States who quit gave the top reason as they were not showing any kind of appreciation and seventy percent of American workers say they never get praised on the job. That's very sad. State of affairs of people are leaving not their job but they're leaving a bad environment like a bad boss or a toxic environment because they can't thrive. They're they're going defined better places so that's something we really need to be aware of like people really need that that recognition and appreciation right it. We're talking about that. <hes> example in the training and being assaulted is got an example of is communication or is it the decisions of the leadership to make decisions. I'm assuming their values. That's the biggest option I do. Value Your your team. We know you want him to be saved. As their behavior in communication well it began with the student who is actually being a bully and confronting and being in a really negative even destructive conflict so it starts there but then it ends with the company not backing up the instructor who did nothing to deserve that right so if we're ways to deal with backstabbers but that's like ah somebody like that should probably be arrested when they physically assaulted somebody and that's kind of an extreme example but the back stabbing incidents that occur every day it's like people have a tendency with both backstabbing and conflict to ignore it and hope that it will go away but that's not the way it works. It's kind of like a snowball rolling down the hill and turning into an avalanche unless it's nipped in the bud by managers who sometimes want to take a hands off approach. We'll just let those people working out it spreads those people start trying to get people to take sides and the next thing you know their teams are going up against each other departments are breaking apart and it's it's contagious it's poison and it spreads like wildfire so. Harmonies what are the tools to deal with that well the minute that you see for example if two people are having some kind of a concert or one person is starting to bully people that person needs to be brought aside and talked with immediately and there's a couple of approaches to do with somebody like that the first is to to try and see if you can find out what's going on with them. There's what's considered valid and invalid reasons now. It's never her excusable to treat somebody with disrespect the by valid it means in that person's mind they feel justified in acting out that type of behavior because they feel like something happened where they were wrong. Something that was unjust happened and they're acting out not that it's okay to do that. The invalid is there's other people who just like to stir up trouble. There are drama Queens and kings or they they get off on it in some way they're they're happy to just see other people miserable and then and there's people were like chronic complainer. They're just miserable and they they're only happy if they're miserable and making everybody else miserable round them so the first thing to do is try to relate to them on a human level you know talk to them really listened to them. Ask questions see if you can find doubt what the source of the problem is. There's a few things that you do you ask where she kind of any becoming their counselor and for a leader Busia majors busy now I got to counsel assume somebody's kind of now okay no not really yet. No it's not about being a counselor in fact that's the other side of it. There are some things there's a lot of employees that can actually be brought back around but just a couple of conversations where they really feel that they're being heard because that's our biggest problem is nobody's listening and people feel an important. They feel disrespected. They feel like nobody cares about them and they're interested in their ideas so that's the first thing is to actually really listen and see if you can get underneath what's going on and a lot of times. Those people can be brought back around now. Some of the others may have like a personality disorder some kind of character flaw something that we are not trained to deal with and they actually need more help than a company can give but there's several things that the company can do I but as a last resort it's totally viable and acceptable to let somebody like that. Go and a lot of companies don't want to because they'll save something. Go Joe is so good at sales we don't you know we don't want to let him go but in the long run again they're wasting more time and money dealing with the fallout and other people who are leaving get away from Joe than they would if they just replaced him and I'm not suggesting that this the I go to answer. This is the last resort but again if you do things like show appreciation finds something that they're doing right give them praise and recognition or listen to them. Find out sometimes. There's things going on in somebody's somebody's personal life and again. That's not okay or acceptable to act out but at least you've got some idea of what might be contributing. 'cause we tend to instantly go to that <hes> negative. What a jerk you know how dare he and Stephen Covey? I love OPTUS example. Stephen Covey's best-selling author before he was a bestselling author he was riding on a New York subway and there was a man there with his three children and these free children were going crazy. They're running up and down the aisles swinging on the bars. Screaming and Stephen Covey was sitting there getting more and more angry like why is it this guy doing something to manage these kids so finally he turns to him and says that he says hey man. Can't you do something about these kids and the guys who says yeah I guess I really should but the thing is we just came from the hospital where their mother died and they don't know how to deal with it yet and frankly neither do I so we don't always we know what's contributing to somebody's behavior in we don't but <unk> out can wait till is is it. Can you really remove dysfunction from if you have a culture of backstabbing is it what are the steps to removing you might listen to one person but if they feel wronged are there any examples originally read the radio is as a as a very successful hedge fund and he wrote his principles out published them and they had this thing principles radical transparency to the point they would record their conversations conversations and let people as into <hes> in let him know hey. We talked about some things relevant to you you were here. They wanted things to be transparent out there. They've actually used tools and transcripts to do that and letting people know that if you couldn't talk about something behind people's backs I mean that was something that gets you fired. It is it is it more is it how much kind of treating team symptom okay this person's backstabbing versus. What is our preventative measures to prevent that in the first place right yeah? We'll the I think the main preventative measure is to open up that Communication Gatien says that you're clearly communicating and you're and you're developing a culture where people want to be there that the thing about toxic environments it's kind of ironic but as a communication trainer and Speaker Acre the people the companies you are already on the right track the ones who are already doing fairly well with communication and they may have a few issues are much more likely to bring me in to help them to make things even better for the employees than a truly toxic environment. They're like so often so far gone. They don't want help. They don't chair. People are leaving and I can think of maybe only one company that was really kind of that. Bad off that I went entertrainer they what I did was I spoke to the people who are lifting the ones who actually did lots of help because there was a number of them who did not and they were set that up they will you go into that room and we'll see what he can. You tell that this is this is a trouble group before it started when we came up to me and pulled me aside does nothing you can do or help is going to it's going to change this situation. You know because there's been like sexual harassment charges people been fired it was it was really a bass and there's people that really disliked each other but there were some of them who genuinely truly wanted to improve things so while I was there you can tell the people who are just by their non verbals. They're they're asking questions or participating. They're making eye contact or dining. Whatever and the other people are not paying any attention whatsoever so I'm thinking well you know? I'd love to help you but I'm not gonNa Focus Dan you because you're not open to it. I'M GONNA look to the people who really want this and help them in that is that sometimes drop people in as they're not who what do you mean by not open open well they. They liked being mad. They you know they were convinced that they were right and they had every right to be mad at these particular people and they weren't looking at the big picture of like. Wouldn't it be better and make more stance if we can improve our relationships you don't have to be best friends hang out all the time but at least have a decent working relationship so you're not miserable at work to me that makes sense but <hes> to some people they don't really care about that. They'd rather just be stuck in their misery and you can't help but you don't want to don't waste my time. I've noticed sometimes people wear it like a like a jacket. It keeps them warm there. Yeah anger kind of yeah you'll actually I'll show them and so if you're doing you're dealing with the difficult difficult room difficult team or company you would say identify people that are into it and start connecting with them. No actually I don't do that when I typically do ahead of time as I will ask the leadership <hes> for different people I can talk to to do like some pre interviews to find out their perspective not just the leadership but just a number of random the people so they will usually tell me different people and they're smart enough they they let me talk to both people who are positive and open to those who are negative and closed so I can get like big picture what's going on there and that's kind of a starting oh boy I wouldn't say who's WHO's negative or who's this or that although one once or twice if they're telling me they've got like a lot of issues like with conflict or bowling or something like that I will ask them ahead of time before the training I'll say is there anybody I should be on the lookout for that may want to argue with me or disrupt the training process and then they'll tell me but then I'm kind of prepared ahead of time and <hes> you know I won't be like blindsided or caught off guard by something okay so so you Kinda you figure out what the room away the land in the room in the different characters are making their issue. Okay so then you go you go in there in how you get them where they're eventually communicating with each other hearing each other why do a number of different activities and exercises that draws that out experiential type activities and exercises because you do. For example one well it's not really 'cause. They're experiential. If you're talking about something it's not the same as actually going through and experiencing a shift in your perspective and the way you see things all right right well. Let's take our final break here in <hes> we'll come right back. That's right because we can't put off this final commercial anymore. It's coming right at you. That's the Webinar that's coming up on September eighteenth eighteenth at one P._M.. Eastern time ten A._M.. Pacific time a couple of hours earlier in Hawaii you can sign up for this Webinar at confident R._O._I.. Dot Com and what will you hear well. They'll discuss how to uncover the the hidden force pulling companies into dysfunction and creating frustration ouch how to implement straightforward tools to identify and remove the real source of that pain and they'll talk about an explorer eliminating the most common behavior David keeps a company from becoming an unstoppable force powerful thoughts interesting conversation. You can join join in on this Webinar free webinars September eighteenth one P._M.. Eastern ten A._M.. Pacific Nick simply sign up at confident are dot com and if you haven't here later you're listening to a podcast is a journalist. I think he will record. It'll be on confident R I dot Com along with the rest of these shows and the magazine lots of stuff stuff lots of reasons to go there confident R. I dot com thanks again. Paul Bady noticed in your bio. You're talking about the company's companies waste thirty seven billion dollars a year on miscommunication understanding in understand the you've identified the three most costly communication mistakes or heirs. Can you share that with our audience. Yes yes absolutely the three most costly. Let's begin with the first one and I actually mentioned a little bit earlier on is not listening people feel like they're not being heard. I mean think about it. When you're talking to somebody at work yeah how many triumphed you felt like they weren't listening to you and most people will say yeah that's definitely happened and how a lot of time but seventy five percent of the time I mean that's like a huge amount of time so people are very frustrated by that and a a lot of times we think well I don't WanNA listen to this person because we're judging them? In some way like that. Person's never has anything to contribute. They're not the brightest lightbulb by were saying these things in our our head you know and and we're not really listening to them kind of like the lyrics to that Aerosmith Song Learn from fools and from sages the dream on Sun and we have a tendency to think we can only learn from sages or if it's full it's what not to do. That's not necessarily true and I'll give you a personal example something that happened to me years ago. When I was in my master's degree I was planning on doing it one year and one day I was sitting in the library surrounded with notebooks and books and all those types of things and I saw this girl approaching me and she was somebody that was in a lot of my graduate classes and nobody really liked her? Nobody listened to her. She had nothing of any value to say. We thought she was kind of preferred so she came up to me and she said what. What are you doing and I said I'm getting this master's degree in one year in other words? I don't have time to talk to you so go away don't Bug Bay and she looks down at me and she says well. I think you're crazy and I said what she said. Yeah do it in two years and right a master's thesis and get a four point oh get your straight as and then you can have your choice of the top the H._d.. Communication programs in the country and she turned around and left and I thought about it and I thought why am I doing this in a year. I don't Oh really need to do that so I slept on it and the next day I actually changed my program and I took her advice. You know two years got the four point Oh my choice of the five top communication P._H._D.. Programs in the country and I picked the top one and then also with the idea that I wanted to get a job back out here. Southern California where I could start my business and this would be the best location and it's like it was actually a life altering decision that I made based on advice advice from somebody. I had no respect for before that moment. It's like we just never know the impact that's going to have so my suggestion is to start listening to everybody to really listen to what they have to say and chimerical can actually happen so that's one example about listening. I WanNa give you another one. What do you think he is? I could feel feel the the scenario you're you're painting a scene and I could just see all the books in that and she's standing there and you'll wanNA listen was does. She hit some frequency or how did she. How did she get through Europe predisposed already dismissing her before she said right right well? I think it was because it was something quick. She just made like one or two sentence statement. She didn't start rambling so it was very quick and she laughed and she she didn't stand there to to engage in a conversation about it. I mean she literally took thirty seconds of my time and she was gone so she. She made the package. Yeah it was so much in in corporate communication kind of the the nugget or the essential part of what they're trying to say is wrapped in try not to upset you in the flower it or Jettou too late eight so communication is digestible is that is that part of it. You didn't have time to time between now. She hit you right between I. I didn't write it was very succinct. Ain't it was very concise. It was very direct and it was very to the point so is started thinking about it. Yeah I mean just in that the mistake of not listening someplace it's hard to listen when someone dribbling. Does it ooh that's the most example was going to give you further okay so there was a person like this place. I worked a number of years ago. That never stopped talking. Put you in the corner bubble. Ball bligh can't can't get a word in edgewise and everybody avoided this person so one day I'm walking down the hall and I see her coming towards me and I dove into my office to escape her well. She followed me in and she blocked me and she started gathering harboring. You know just Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah saying nothing. I'm going crazy inside. My head is like how can I get rid of her can I can. I get out of the situation and then I started thinking about though wait a minute. Why should I do that? I'm studying communication. It's there's there's gotta be a better approach than me just trying to get rid of her. I've got to be able to deal with new talks too much so I decided to actually listen to her instead of being in my head trying to figure out escape route so I did. I started really really listening to her like getting who she was as a person in where she was coming from why she felt that way so she's still talking five minutes in ten minutes in about fifteen minutes in she finally ran out of steam and realize that somebody and maybe even for the first time ever was actually listening to her and after that she never did that to me again she still did it to other people but not to be it's like you can make a small shift in how you communicate with other people and it can totally transform transform relationships a lot of times we're like how can I get them to stop doing that. How can I get them to quit that we can't but we can make a shift in how we're communicating with them and that could change everything and that was what happened in this situation? Should the problem with the people talk to you bye. They're doing it because they feel like no one's listening to them and it's true and the more they talk. They're trying to force you to listen to them. The less you're listening to the the less you're listening to them. The more they talk so it's this vicious circle and that was a way I found to break out of that vicious circle by actually listening doing the thing that has the morning people sometimes who who are in a good friend of course pass he goes. There's some people that are just in transmit boat and eight sometimes missing the nonverbal cues like okay yeah yeah yeah yeah those those nonverbal cues that have conversations of equal saying you're you're losing some of your ability as as a member of this team or credibility right were but <hes> people they lose interest when you start talking angle around and keep keep hitting the same way on over in especially when it's a technical type vary like legal or finance or or it isn't in how do you deliver is. Does it a twofold thing in terms of teaching them says he wins and listening in observing for choose to know when their message has been create or they asked a question. Does that make sense what how can they do. Yeah actually if there's for example like a team member. That's doing that and it's really interfering with meanings for example you know they're they being very dominating doing all the talking that anyone else get a chance. It would be advisable for whoever the manager or the team leader is is to sit down one on one and have a direct conversation with them and it doesn't mean that you have to be mean and nasty about it just has to let them know. This is the impact you know you're you've got a lot to you say and we appreciate some of your ideas but we need to let other people contribute their ideas too and when you take control nobody else has a chance to do that and a lot of times. This is kind of amazing to initially it was amazing. I'm used to it now. Though take a Lotta Times the people were exhibiting behaviors like that aren't even aware of it. They don't even realize that they're doing it or the negative impact they're having and they're kind of shocked when you tell them that and so that can also help to first of all just even pudding awareness around it making somebody aware of it then they can start catching themselves if they're doing that and there's probably some more specific chips that <hes> somebody could give to that particular person about you know guidelines what to do what not not to do things to be aware of to start paying attention to when they catch themselves doing that and then consciously say okay stop talking to myself. Give somebody else a chance or somebody else a question to get them involved sure okay and so it was the next most costly Communications Day gave the the second one is the not showing appreciation that we already mentioned the people will leave. We'll leave the jobs for more recognition and praise take a new job for more money but the leave a job for praise and appreciation now the problem with this is I think a lot of times people are waiting for the leader to you know the speed of the leaders the speed of the gang but that's great in an ideal situation Asian but that doesn't always work so sometimes we need to give each other that praise and recognition and we can do it to our co workers to our bosses to our subordinates. Just you know give them that pat on the back great job in the meeting this morning that that's a great idea that you suggested and also be very specific about what they did and it can create what I like to call the trickle up effect just like we talked earlier about the day GonNa behavior the snowball running out of control until it turns into an avalanche avalanche coming down. There's also the trickle up a fact it can start at the ground level with people supporting each other giving each other praise and recognition slap each other in the back ham so happy that you're on my team or I really enjoy working with you but the trump my team whatever it might be and then that can start shifting the culture and it can even move up and another thing that's connected with that a lot of times things happen and people don't know why like they may offer offer a suggestion and nobody uses it or they may not get the promotion they were promised and they have no idea why it's important that people know why something did or did not happen otherwise they've got no way to correct it or to fix it and here's here's an example. This is a company I was training a couple of years ago and they were had a sales meeting on the phone with people around the country and I was on the phone to but they didn't know I was there. I was listening for the communication breakdowns well. This one lady proposed most an idea to Greece sailed. She was very excited about it. She talked about a minute and a half and then the sales manager completely cut her off. You said that's not going to happen. Dead Silence and I thought Oh my gosh if you keep talking to her like that she's going to withdraw. She's GonNa stop making suggestions. She's probably going to leave and if he saw into her like that you know he's talking to everyone else on the team like that too so dead silent and then he changed the subject of something else. I thought man he could have done a number of things that's that's probably the worst thing that he did beat her lose face in front of her peers. He couldn't just said something like you know. Where'd you get the idea? What what makes you think that's a great idea? That's going to work or even better yet. Set up a one and one like ain't that idea has has merit but let's set up a time where we can discuss it further one. Obviously he saw problem with it but he didn't even say when it was just kind of cut her off at the knees which was good so instead. We need to be recognizing people even if we don't use their idea to at least show appreciation that they're thinking they're making some kind of a contribution to that so that's that's the communication mistake number two number three is the dimiss perceptions the misunderstanding that one way communication mutation thing we deliver communication we think they got what we said and they didn't at all and we have no idea and we don't even realize it until they're not performing their job correctly things start falling apart and <hes> we I need to make sure that we're asking questions and being engaged with them and that there's back and forth and there's clarification that they really did understand what was sad so if that loop is closed not alone that went alone could eliminate so tell many mistakes that are made the delays the patients things slipping through the cracks all of those title challenging when you mentioned earlier saying with a smile like okay. Tell me what I said Yeah but the reality is is better to find out now if the person understands versus waiting for them to go do that project or working coming back in with the different <hes> doing something different than what was originally yes. That's there's a lot of sensitive moments within communication. It's asking people to re-communicate back what you said or or the salesman was bullying. Somebody on the phone is those are right. Those are challenging moments. <hes> we got a few minutes any tips you give to people in terms of a win you gotta you gotTa Open GonNa you gotta go there and how that conversation like eight. You shut that person down on the call. Would you share with you. I Yeah I would say it's always you've got to set boundaries. You can't let the people continued the bad behaviors or the bad communication behaviors or whatever it is that they're doing you have to let them know because they also might not know like I mentioned they might not even be aware of what they're doing or the impact that they're having you need to let them know no needs to be direct. It does not need to be in front of other people. It should be a one on one conversation with the manager their boss whoever that particular person might be but the the person who's explaining the impact and what's happening should also be asking questions to find out if they're even aware you know what's going on be involved engaged in other words. It's shouldn't that shouldn't be a one way conversation like okay music you down. I'm GonNa tell you everything you're doing wrong here. That's not where it should be coming from whereas becoming promise I really want to connect with this person and establishing good relationship so that we can work together to overcome this and produce better results for our team. You know come from the best version of yourself. Don't put the other person on the defensive. Don't make accusations focus on what's an observable and factual not interpretations so in other words say somebody's been coming in late to team meetings. You don't say something like Oh. You're a slacker you know you're you're always coming in late because that's adding an interpretation. We don't know that they're a slacker. We don't know what's going on. What's observable is you're coming in late and that's impacting the team? Can you know can can you help. Enlighten me about what's going on but can you explain what's happening or is there anything I can help you. With through the ways the team can help you with to improve the situation or to prevent this from continuing well. That's <hes> that's. That's really awful belly wound. How can people get a hold of you? They like to learn more. We're with you okay. There's several ways I've got a website which is Dr Patty. Malone Dot Com and it's Day are not the whole word spelled out and not D._R.. Dot It's D. R. P. A. T. T. Y.. M. A. L. O. N.. E. Dot Com. He's well. What's that we'll have that in the show notes page as well so people look into okay great number sorry yeah also the email is info at Dr Patty Malone Dot Com and the phone number is nine four nine two nine seven six four eight eight terrific? Well thank you for joining us today. Dot Loan has been great <hes> learning communication how to improve that in you gotta answer. You're doing things in inches or meters before you go to Mars right yeah. Oh One last quote one final closer the biggest problem the biggest problem with communication is the illusion than it has occurred yeah. It's it's an ongoing thing we have more communication in this world than ever but <hes> it's an illusion that the people are hearing what the other side I to say actually thank you for sharing hope you have a nice day and the court having you back again in the future. Okay thank you so much you too right now. You can get boats grits unlimited plan and the all new Samsung Galaxy S. ten included for just thirty five dollars per month per line for five lines. All you need is approved credit ended eighteen month lease no trade in required visit sprint stores sprint dot com or call eight hundred.

America instructor NASA Stephen Covey California Dr Patty clear Communication Institute BUBBA BUBBA Bubba Bubba Bubba Communication Institute Samsung Ghana Nasa Senate Dr Patty Malone University of California Irvin Jill Google Communication Gatien
Communication in the Work Place: How Can Improved Communication Save Your Company Millions of Dollars? With Guest Dr Patty Malone

OC Talk Radio

1:00:29 hr | 2 years ago

Communication in the Work Place: How Can Improved Communication Save Your Company Millions of Dollars? With Guest Dr Patty Malone

"And now an ad from dad right save money on car insurance when you bundle home and auto with progressive guy take these off right. What is this wow? Where did you get this? I'm talking to you with the hair yeah. Where did you get good stuff solid? That's not veneer that solid stuff progressive can't save you from becoming your parents but we can save you money when you bundle home and Auto Progressive Casualty Insurance Company affiliates and other insurance discounts not available in all states or situations on today's show. We have Dr Patty Molo. She's the leader of the clear Communication Institute in Patty is a leading authority on communication or place. She's committed to helping organizations she out how for results increasing their productivity and profitability to clear and productive communications addy welcome confident are a lot thank you. I'm happy to be here. We're we're glad to have you on. You have quite the background here twenty five years of experience in the field of communication as a corporate trainer speaker in a TV news anchor and they now have a p._H._d.. In Communication Gatien and you teach to California universities including the University of California Irvine and share with the audience <hes> what what does the clear Communication Institute do House aide unique well we go into companies to help them clear up their communication because almost all organizational problems today the source is a breakdown in communications and a lot of people don't realize that so they try and fix the symptom symptom but the result is rather than going to the root of the cause which is communication breakdowns and communication is really a costly problem if you're not using it correctly and that's something else. That's a little bit unique. I don't see communication as justice off. He'll I see it as something that has a direct and major impact on companies bottom lines and let me just give you one quick example what I mean so great NASA ended up okay NASA ended ended up spending three hundred million dollars too much on the Mars probe because one g measured in inches and the other incentive meters and that's just one example the difference because people say we got a communication allegation <unk> famous from Glam Luke where we have here is a failure communicate. What is that what is that? They didn't communicate one team to start doing on their own thing and one team. Do they know exactly exactly they. Each did their own thing. You know the silos and bridge gaps across silos start communicating with each other. That's exactly what happened. They both just started during their own thing and there was a complete there was no communication systems that bridged the departments the teams that would keep them in communication with each other so they would know what each other was doing and look at how costly that mistake was. I mean they didn't discover it. Jill it was way way down the line and that happens all the time and that's like a big example but we see it every day in the workplace so I can do a few other examples great communication breakdowns like that there was a company I was working with a few years ago and one team made a change that impacted everyone else in the company but they did not bother to tell them so the sales team found out from clients when they were out in the field and they were so embarrassed because they felt like you know they should know what's going on in their own company and they've got their clients telling them about this change another team Santana project that they've been working on for months the same way they've been doing it for years and this team that made the change into Oh. We're not taking those anymore. They're like well when we were going to tell us they are very costly costly communication mistakes when teams don't communicate with each other so that's another example of when and how how that happens and that's a big thing today so much like team management flat organizations you really need to have those cross functional teams where you're keeping each other appraised of what's happening and finding out what impact it's going to have another team. He changed that you make your own people get into these silos. They're very concerned with their own priorities which is understandable but you've got to have the big picture and recognized that all the teams are like pieces in a puzzle. It's got a big big picture and get everybody rowing in the same direction about have each team doing its own thing with no communication which also leads to things like bad morale conflict unhappy customers unhappy employees that don't want to go to work yeah. It's it's almost like it creates unction <hes> within within the group and what I find when you say communication can be will people can talk to each other who I find is is a lot of times it's they a there's unanswered questions within an organization. Take Nasa an answer the question inches or meters and yeah so somebody filled in the gap and there ask you. How do you answer important questions because a lot of times people just assume the answer is self-evident but it's not right? That's right. Have you seen any good ways out out can keep on truckin organization leader no Haywood what questions running answered or what questions might be answered differently by different departments are there is that what you do and working with organizations it now yeah that's part of it definitely and one thing is to develop a cross functional team with a person from each like a leader from each department that has regular meetings not those random meetings where people are just going around in circles and wasted a lot of time but really to keep each other informed of anything any changes that they've made that they're considering making and getting feedback. You know what what impact is this going to have on your department. Do you like this idea. Do you have any input. Do you have any suggestions how we might do this differently or do you see any problems with us and to start doing that. On a regular basis that doesn't mean it has to be like every week or anything like that but <hes> maybe every couple of months or maybe once a quarter and to keep those lines of communication nation open. If something comes up in between the meetings just shoot a quick email to the other members of that cross functional team and say look this is coming up. Is this something that we need to meet about or can we just have a discussion about it over email or even like a phone conference but the Chitwood is to keep everybody appraised of what's going on and also to ask the question besides what impact at this point you have a new but what do you need help with you. Know what things could we do to make your life and job easier. How can we contribute to you if you're making some kind of a change or you're considering some other approach to something other than the way that you've been doing it so in other words not just to have your own team or departments priorities top of mind which of course they're going to be that that's necessary zero to also check in with the others who are likely going to be impacted and I think that's such a big problem with companies today as they're doing that they're kind of in their silos and they're off doing their own thing and then there's a lot of animosity and resent dipped to between teams or across teams and departments and then they don't want to communicate with each other and then that turns into like blaming things fall through the cracks? There's delays there's repetition. You know people start going into either less not my the job. They're supposed to do that or territoriality where two people are doing the same thing. It's like what they're not supposed to do that. That's my job so there's so many issues that can result from that is some some issues as come the fact that people can send an email and anals and I've communicated it. That's the problem I mean we almost coding computer. I sent an instruction to the rest of the team. They got it. No put it in the right sequential order and it'll be carried out like the machine punched in some code and Senate is at creating more issues than when before I can actually remember. We didn't have email and you actually had to call someone or go C._o.. Or right of being in that SOM effort so you you kinda focused on making sure you're a clear I remember writing business letters but his that Zach contributing this environment of <hes> definitely definitely contributing email. That's that's really like another whole topic onto itself do entire trading on emails. What's appropriate? What's inappropriate? That's really not the purpose of emails emails are just just send something very short like our meetings postponed from June until three or to send like some congratulations and praise you know a great job. He did this morning with that. I read customer those types of things anything the people are going to have to scroll through. They're not gonna read all that stuff. They just arch and they're not going to answer a lot of questions. If somebody sent an email with a bunch of questions they're not going to do that. Either and emails are primarily one way communication and it's such a mistake. There's so much of that and it could be through email or it could be like a memo top down communication but where there's no lou it's just going one way and there's so many problems with that. Ah It's so easy to misinterpret it and with those emails they keep getting over to other people and the whole meaning gets lost and a lot of times people are using different jargon like different departments use different language different acronyms different check the language other departments. Don't understand that it's people are so used to speaking to their peers in their own lingo and they don't even think about it when they're talking to stakeholders or they're talking to other departments. I've actually gone in and trained companies that were having problems but that they were speaking too complex or too technically and nobody they couldn't train these people. They're trying to train people how to use software and nobody could under stand them so it really needs to be two way. I I can't tell you how many times people will do that even face to face the walk up to somebody and say okay. This is what we're GONNA do now. You're going to do BUBBA BUBBA Bubba Bubba Bubba Blah and then they turn around and leave. They think well I'm done. I've communicated no. Do you have not communicated unless the other person or the other group or team understood what you said the way that you intended for them to understand it. Both sides need to understand the message and that's a huge reason for the breakdown. Is that one way a communication people think they've communicated and they have an here's my favorite quote. That's perfect for that. I know you believe you understand what you think. I said when I'm not sure you realize is what you heard is not what I met Bech when wartimes delayed you think I know you believe you understand what you think I said but I'm not sure you realize is what you heard is not when I met misinterpretations misunderstandings MS options. How do you come that as it? Is there some exercise now. Is there some follow up question there yeah mainly what you really need to do and this is a huge problem. People don't listen. We actually don't listen seventy five percent of the time and that's a big issue so what we need to do is the minute we start drifting. We need to catch ourselves and bring ourselves back to the conversation and that's one prime time when it's likely to happen if you're talking to somebody who speaking to you and some kind of complex language and you don't understand what they're talking about is start drifting so we need to catch ourselves and bring ourselves back and ask questions and if there for example there speaking in complex firms just say something like you know. I really want to understand what you're saying but I'm having trouble following you. Is there another way you could say that might be a little bit simpler since I'm not a technological person recent technical person or whatever and then start and then usually ninety percent of the time they're more than happy to do that because then they know you're genuinely interested in hearing them listening to them learning what they have to say and <hes> mastering whatever it is they're trying to explain d'you or or to teach you so it's a matter of listening and for both people on both sides to ask question. That's another key so if we're the ones who are listening and we're receiving maybe some new information a new policy or a new way to do something and we're listening. We need to ask questions to make sure we understand what the other person is saying. The were on the same page because so often we don't they leave and we think we've got it. We reach a certain point and then realize we. You don't know what we're supposed to do next. The same is true the other way around if you're explaining something to somebody they may not ask wash ideally they would if they really WANNA communicate but they may not they may either feel like they should already know that or they're going look stupid or maybe they're just shy. If they're not asking questions and you explain something to somebody you actually need to ask them questions to make sure they did actually get what you said and it can be a simple question just like would you mind repeating came back to me. What you just heard me saying your own words? I JUST WANNA make sure we're on the same page and do it with a smile not like you're trying to put them on the defensive or choose them of anything and that can clear up so many issues that's kind of the keys to the kingdom you're responsible for both sides of the communication whether you're the listener or the speaker to make sure is the speaker the other person gets it to make sure as the listener that you get it in today's environment the speaker who's trying to convey the information you're trying to say is they have they have the breakthrough as well as the receiver of the information actually verified that it's jetting exactly it is it is it harder. Nowadays is is that part of the problem but I would say it's harder born challenging in terms of we are so busy you know busy in today's business world of do more faster astor better with less people always under a lot of pressure for time. I don't have time and unfortunately they think of communication has this takes much time at I just wanna cut to the chase and I don't want to deal with these questions and back and fourth ultimately in the long run for example if national had done that they would have saved themselves three hundred million dollars. Yes it may take a little bit longer but the results are so much better than it's worth it right. So how did you end up studying in this field and focusing all your efforts on it. Actually there was a couple of things that contributed to the I was I was working in corporate America and I was producing an anchoring inhouse in house corporate newscast and I needed to I worked for two departments the video production as well as public affairs and I needed to get both department heads approval before I could send it out to divisions around the country little did I know when I was hired that these two I had not been speaking for like ten years. There was this ongoing feud this conflict going on so I would go to one of them for approval they would give it that I would go to the other for approval and he would not give it simply because the first one had so then I'd have to make changes to make that one happy I'd go back to the other person and then they would say no because the other person had said yes and as I'm doing this. I'm thinking Oh my gosh. This company is wasting thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars sending me back and forth because because they wanna be right they don't agree with each other. They won't communicate order out to get each other. It was all just negative toxic stuff and it was poisoning both departments and I thought you know this is toxic for me. I only stayed one year. I just didn't want WanNa be in that environment any longer so I left but that's started me thinking about this dysfunctional communication communication breakdowns lack of communication then I also worked in T._V.. News for ten years and I was a T._v.. News anchor but before he became I'm anchor my first T._v.. Job I was hired you run the cameras in the studio and shoot the anchors and those types of things well an opening came up for an on camera person not an anchor reporter and I was not going to report. I was too new so I I was done the picture but I saw what was going on and these two people at the station were going up against each other for this physician. One of them sabotage the microphone when the other one went out on her audition so she came came back with no audio and I was horrified. I thought why would somebody do that. Can't they just rely on their own skills and talents your why why would this happen and then a big huge conflict erupted afterwards of course it was just a disaster. Neither one of them got hired by the way those kind of tactics don't usually pay off but that really got me thinking about you know. There's a better way to approach things so people aren't going up against each other. They're not attacking each other. They're they're not being backstabbing stabbing and <hes> getting into conflict there also communicating not doing that stonewalling thing nobody speaking to each other and wasting tons of time and tons of money because of all these communication breakdowns so those are a couple of incidents that really prompted me to go back to school to get my masters and P._H._d.. Just studied that to study dysfunctional communication in the workplace. My dissertation was actually on Indian backstabbing in the workplace and then my master's thesis because on conflict so I I researched and studied a lot of this impact I ended up doing a thousand surveys to get responses to some of the questions about backstabbing an N. B. in the workplace and then once I did that my insights there with the research insights were first of all there were certain things that were more common than others in terms of like what triggered envy and what triggered backstabbing there were different ways of backstabbing and then there were different ways that people responded you backstabbing like if they communicated if they complained to somebody else if they tried to backstab back or if they went in front of the person or if they went and complained to the boss there is different categories for all of these different types of things things but my main purpose in everything that I was doing was I thought I really WANNA go back into corporate America because there's so many people they're they're walking around the halls of corporate America like zombies they they don't know how to communicate they don't <music> how to connect with each other and they're miserable. They hate going to work and I thought I want to transform communication in corporate America. I want people to be happy and excited to go to work and to do a great job and to be able to communicate with each other there without descending into conflict or people bullying people you know bad behaviors on the job and all of that stuff any of those things the backstabbing the bullying the conflict in so what does that end up wasting time. Time and money what are some of the techniques that you teach your can give an example of someone you know working with someone where they're having either stonewalling or or the backstabbing and an issue. There's a lot of you've there's there's a lot of there's so many of those. There's like a million stories of those <hes>. The most common ones tend to be things like lying you know lying to somebody or lying about somebody or spreading getting untrue rumors <hes> here's an this is an interesting kind of an example. This is a little bit different rather than co worker to co worker. This was a boss to an employee. This person got hired to work in a law firm and as she was being hired she told them that she was getting married and six months and they already had paid. It was a distance wedding where she would need a week off. Everything was paid for invitations. Everything was set and and they said well. That's okay. You know we'll we'll give you that week off so because of that. She was very excited. Happy took the job and she was working late hours and coming in on weekends doing a lot of extra overtime as grateful. She was grateful grateful that we're going to give me this opportunity but then as the date approached and she told them they said what we never said that we would never hire somebody and tell them they can have a week off in six months and so she quit needless to say she she had got married but she loved that job that that's <hes> that's a situation and this frequently happens. There's either a feeling of something they were wrong. You know somebody did something that was wrong. It's a judgment that they were wronged in some way and it could be real like in that case that actually happened or it could be perceived. They may have perceived that they were promised a raise or a promotion and then somebody else gets it and they don't and they don't know why nobody explained anything to them. In some cases here there's there's another one one person found out that they were being fired because they posted on the bulletin board on the break room an opening for her job. That's how she found out. Nobody talk to her again. It all goes back to this lack of communication not use a way to what's going on. What would the solution be with that wedding situation how would you how would you approach that company in in avoiding being out in the future I would say just to make sure that you've got everything in writing and that everybody did a lot of people are aware of the agreement not that it's between two people and then it's a he said she said type of thing? Put it writing. Everybody's everybody's got copies and make sure you just kind of let everybody know what's going on. That's kind of the same thing when somebody like takes credit for your work or or you know steals your idea and takes credit for it. If you've got an idea or something like that you you WanNa make sure that you put it out to a number of people so they know where the idea came from and the person who's doing the backstabbing can't pretend it came from them because other people already know about it. There's a number of different things that people can do to kind of protect themselves from those types of things and and to deal with them. Effectively yeah is is that we towards more <hes> a C._Y._A.. Type of environment versus a collaborative communicating communicating environment nasty and say hey one of us sent an email that it would be inches. I missed that email. How do you not still actually getting through is it is it is it revisiting things on a regular basis the <hes> yeah yeah keep those communication channels open and continually touch base to make sure everybody's on the same page and nothing's changed aged or somebody hasn't suddenly started going off in their own direction doing something that everybody didn't agree to thinking? They'll think oh I can save some time or it could make this federal just do this. I don't tell anybody no. Actually you do okay well. Let's take a break in will continue. There is a magazine that accompanies this show so if you WANNA stay up to date on the latest ideas and trends you don't have to just tune in every week you can turn onto the new magazine magazine than accompanies at confident. Are I discover the right tool to improve your company and read articles like the one in the latest issue from Verne Harnish the famous Verne Harnish strategy or top grading with Dr Brad Smart is a cure for your hiring headache and they're and even information on systems like the system that we've talked about so many others times here on this show and others all of that and more you can read confidently to find out real life tools to improve your company and take it to the next level. Just go find it. It's free that's right. The four letter word F. R. E. E. AT CONFIDENT R. I dot com just like it sounds confident are oh I ooh thank you Paul and before the break we were talking about our research in communication in her dissertation and Gender Doctor Degree and communication and in in Vian the in backstabbing is almost like living in the court of the English monarchy back in the day or or maybe today but dr value before we move on from your Allen to go back Accu Research and what else did you find there and were there any stories you can share with without people can deal with this real issue. It's been around for a Millennium Williams. There's another for example that POPs to mind of somebody that I interviewed and he was <hes> an e._M._t.. Trainer so you know he'd been emergency medical technician and he his job was to be an instructor and teach other people how to do the same thing well in this one particular classroom. This student got irate but something that he said he got started arguing with him and he came up and actually physically assaulted him. He physically attacked him at the front of the room and then arming out of the classroom so the instructor went to his boss and said you know this is what happened in the boss said don't worry he's history. He is out of the school well a couple of days later. The students shows back up in his class. Yeah so the instructor was horrified. He went back with bosses like that happen and the boss said Oh will we looked at our budget and we need his tuition so we decided to let him stay. Oh my goodness. I know it's like you. Did he quit. He left and that's typically what happens when people are the recipients of things like that and their boss or their company doesn't back them up doesn't have their back. They will typically leave and then that cost the company a lot to replace use them retrain New People. It's it's really just not worth it so it's very helpful for employees to have their I mean for employers to have their employees backs and to really back them up and give them recognition ignition and praise and appreciation which also doesn't happen enough in fact a Gallup poll of one million workers in the United States who quit gave the top reason as they were not showing any kind of appreciation and seventy percent of American workers say they never get praised on the job. That's very sad state of affairs that people are leaving not their job but they're leaving a bad environment like a bad boss or a toxic environment because they can't thrive. They're they're going undefined better places so that's something we really need to be aware of like people really need that that recognition and appreciation right it. We're talking about that. <hes> the example in the training of being assaulted is stabbing example is communication or is it the decisions of the leadership to make decisions. I'm assuming their values as the biggest option I do value your your team. We know you want him to be saved. As that <hes> that were behavior in communication well it began with the the student who is actually being a bully and confronting and and being in a really negative eleven destructive conflict so it starts there but then it ends with the company not backing up the instructor who did nothing to deserve that right so emperor ways to deal with backstabbers but that's like ah somebody like that should probably be arrested when they physically assaulted somebody and that's kind of an extreme example but the back stabbing incidents that occur every day it's like people have a tendency with both backstabbing and conflict to ignore it and hope that it will go away but that's not the way it works. It's kind of like a snowball rolling down the hill and turning into an avalanche unless it's nipped in the bud by managers who sometimes want to take a hands off approach. We'll just let those people working out it spreads those people start trying to get people to take sides and the next thing you know there are teams are going up against each other departments are breaking apart and it's it's contagious it's poison and it spreads like wildfire so in to army's what are the tools to deal with that. Well the minute that you see for example if two people are having some kind of a concert or one person is starting to bully people that person needs to be brought aside and talked. With immediately and there's a couple of approaches to do with somebody like that. The first is to to try and see if you can find out what's going on with them. There's what's considered valid and invalid reasons now. It's never ever excusable to treat somebody with disrespect the by valid at means in that person's mind they feel justified in acting out that type of behavior because they feel like something happened for they were wrong something that was unjust happened and they're acting out not that it's okay to do that. The invalid is there's other people who just like to stir up trouble. There are drama Queens and kings or they they get off on it in some way they're they're happy to just see other people miserable and then there's people were like chronic complainers. They're just miserable and they had their only happy if they're miserable and making everybody else miserable round them so the first thing to do is try to relate to them on a human level. You know talk to them really listen to them. Ask questions see if you can find find out what the source of the problem is. There's a few things that you do you ask what kind of any becoming their counselor and for a leader Busia majors busy now I got to counsel canceled them kind of now. Okay no not really no no. It's not about being a counselor in fact that's the other side of it. There are some things there's a lot of employees that can actually be brought back around but just a a couple of conversations where they really feel that they're being heard because that's our biggest problem is nobody's listening and people feel an important. They feel disrespected. They feel like nobody cares about them or they're interested in their ideas so that's the first thing is to actually really listen and see if you can get underneath what's going on and a lot of times. Those people can be brought back around now. Some of the others may have like a personality disorder some kind of character flaw something that we are not trained to deal with. They actually need more help than a company can give but there's several things that the company can do I but as a last resort it's totally viable unacceptable to let somebody like that. Go and a lot of companies don't want to because they'll say something thing like Oh. We'll JOE is so good at sales we don't we don't want to let him go but in the long run again they're wasting more time and money dealing with the fallout and other people who are leaving get away from Joe than they would if they just replaced him and I'm not suggesting that this this is the first go to answer. This is the last resort but again if you do things like show appreciation find something that they're doing right. Give them praise and recognition. Listen to them find out sometimes. There's things going on in somebody's personal life and again. That's not okay or acceptable to act out but at least you've got some idea of what might be contributing. 'cause we tend to instantly go to that <hes> negative. What a jerk you know how dare he and Stephen Covey? I love loved. This example. Stephen Covey's best-selling author before he was a best selling author he was riding on a New York subway and there was a man there with his three children and these free children were going crazy. There were running up and down the aisle swinging on the bars. Screaming and Stephen Covey was sitting there getting more and more angry like why is it this guy doing something to manage these kids so finally he turns to him and says that he says hey man. Can't you do something about these kids and the guys who says yeah I guess I really should but the thing is we just came from the hospital where their mother died and they don't know how to deal with that yet and frankly neither do I so we don't always always know what's contributing to somebody's behavior in we don't but as in <unk> how can we tell is is it. Can you really remove dysfunction from if you have the culture of backstabbing is it is what are the steps to removing you might listen to one person but if they feel wronged are there any examples originally read the radio he's a very successful hedge fund and he wrote his principles out and he published them and they had this thing with their principles radical transparency so the point they would record their conversations longer stations and let people as into a in let them know hey. We talked about some things relevant to you here but they wanted things to be transparent out there. They've actually used tools and transcripts to do that and letting people know that if you couldn't talk about something behind people's backs I mean that was something that gets you fired. It is it is it more is it how much does kind of treating reading the symptom okay this person's backstabbing versus. What is our preventative measures to prevent that in the first place right yeah well the I think the main preventative measure is to open up that communication negation says that you're clearly communicating and you're and you're developing a culture where people want to be there that the thing about toxic environments it's kind of ironic but as a communication trainer and Speaker Speaker the people the companies you're already on the right track the ones who are already doing fairly well with communication and they may have a few issues are much more likely to bring me in to help them to make things even better for the employees than the truly toxic environment? They're like so often so far gone. They don't want help. They don't chair. People are leaving and I can think of maybe only one company that was really kind of that bad off that I went an inch train but it they what I did was I spoke to the people who are lifting the ones who actually did lots of help because there was a number of them related not and they were set that up they remained resentful. You go into that room and and what did you see. What can you tell that this is? This is a trouble group before it started when we came up to me and pulled me aside. There's nothing you can do or help is going to it's going to change the the situation you know because there's been like sexual harassment charges people been fired it was it was really a bass and there's people that really disliked each other but there were some of them who genuinely truly wanted to improve things so while I was there so you know you can tell the people who are just by their non verbals or they're asking questions or participating. They're making eye contact or dining. Whatever and the other people are not paying any attention whatsoever so I'm thinking well you know? I'd love to help you but I'm not gonNA focus. It's on you because you're not open to it. I'M GONNA look to the people who really want this and help them in that is that sometimes drop people in as they're not. What do you mean by not open well they? They liked being mad. They you know they were convinced that they were right and they had every right to be mad at these particular people and they weren't looking at the big picture of like wind up be better and make more percents. If we can improve our relationships you don't have to be best friends hang out all the time but at least have a decent working relationship so you're not miserable at work to me that makes sense but <hes> to some people they don't really care about that. They'd rather just be stuck in there on misery and you can't help but you don't want to don't waste my time. I've noticed that sometimes people wear it like a like a jacket it keeps them war anger kind of yeah you'll actually I'll show them and so if you're dealing with the difficult difficult room difficult team or company you would say identify the people that are into it and start connecting with them. No actually I don't do that when I typically do ahead of time as I will ask the leadership <hes> for different people I can talk to to do like some pre interviews to find out their perspective not just the leadership but just a number of random the people so they will usually tell me different people and they're smart enough they they let me talk to both people who are positive and open to those who are negative enclosed so I can get like big picture what's going on there and that's kind of a starting outing point. I wouldn't say who's WHO's negative or who's this or that although one once or twice if they're telling me they've got like a lot of issues like with conflict or bullying or something like that I will ask them ahead of time before the training. I'll say is there for anybody. I should be on the lookout for that may want to argue with me or disrupt the training process and then they'll tell me but then I'm kind of prepared ahead of time and <hes> you know I won't be like blindsided or caught off guard by something okay so so you Kinda you figure out what the room away the land in the room and what the different characters are making their issue. Okay so then you can go you go in there in you. Get them where they're eventually communicating with each other tearing each other why do a number of different activities and exercises that draws that out experiential type activities and exercises 'cause you you an example one well. It's not really 'cause they're experiential. If you're talking about something it's not the same as actually going through and experiencing a shift in your perspective and the way you see things all. All right well. Let's take our final break here in <hes> we'll come right back. That's right because we can't put off this final commercial anymore. It's coming right at you. That's the Webinar that's coming up on September eighteenth eighteenth at one P._M.. Eastern time ten A._M.. Pacific Time couple hours earlier in Hawaii. You can sign up for this Webinar at confident R._O._I.. Dot Com and what will you hear well. They'll discuss how to uncover the hidden forest pulling companies into dysfunction and creating frustration ouch how to implement straightforward tools to identify and remove the real source of that pain and they'll talk about an explorer eliminating the most common behavior behavior that keeps a company from becoming an unstoppable force powerful thoughts interesting conversation. You can join join in on this Webinar free webinars September eighteenth one PM eastern ten A._M.. Pacific Nick simply sign up at confident R. I DOT COM and if you haven't here later if you're listening to a podcast is a darn amiss. I think he will record. It'll be on confident R. I DOT COM along with the rest of these shows and the magazine lots of stuff lots of reasons to go there confident R._O._I.. Dot Com thanks again Paul Bady. I noticed in your bio. You're talking about the companies waste thirty seven billion dollars a year on miscommunication understanding in understand the you've identified the three most costly communication mistakes or errors you share that with our audience. Yes US absolutely the three most costly. Let's begin with the first one and I actually mentioned it. A little bit earlier on is not listening people feel like they're not being heard. I mean think about it. When you're talking to somebody at work yeah how many any time of you felt like they weren't listening to you and most people will say yeah that's definitely happened and how a lot of time but seventy five percent of the time I mean that's like a huge amount of time so people are very frustrated by that and a a lot of times we think well? I don't want to listen to this person because we're judging them. In some way like that. Person's never has anything to contribute. They're not the brightest lightbulb. I'm a bobber saying these things in our our head you know and we're not really listening to them kind of like the the lyrics to that Aerosmith Song Learn from fools and from sages the dream on Sun and we have a tendency to think we can only learn from sages or if it's from full it's what not to do. That's not necessarily true and I'll give view a personal example of something that happened to me years ago. When I was in my master's degree I was planning on doing it one year and one day I was sitting in the library surrounded with notebooks and books and all those types of things and I saw this girl approaching me and she was somebody that was in a lot of my graduate classes and nobody really liked her? Nobody listened to her. She had nothing of any value to say. We thought she was kind of preferred so she came up to me and she said what are you doing and I said I'm getting this master's degree in one year in other words I don't have time to talk to you go away and don't Bug Bay and she looks down at me and she says well I think you're crazy and I said what she said Yeah Dude in two years and right a master's thesis and get a four point. Oh get your straight as and then you can have your choice of the top P._H._d.. Communication programs in the country and she turned around and left and I and I thought about it and I thought why am I doing this in a year. I I don't really need to do that so I slept on it and the next day I actually changed my program and I took her advice. You know two years got the four point Oh my choice of the five top communication P._H._D.. Programs in the country and the top one and then also with the idea that I wanted to get a job back out here southern California where I could start my business and this would be the best location and it's like it was actually a life altering decision that I made based on advice from somebody. I had no respect for before that moment. It's like we just never know the impact that's going to have so my suggestion is to start listening to everybody to really listen to what they have to say. Chimerical can actually happen so that's one example about listening. I WanNa give you another one. What do you think he is? I could feel feel this. The scenario a you're painting at the scene and I can just see all the books in that and she's standing there and you wanna listen was this did she hit some frequency or how did she. How did she get through Europe? Predisposed already dismissing before she said right right well. I think it was because it was something quick. She just made like one or two sentence statement. She didn't start rambling so it was very quick and she laughed and she didn't stand there to to engage in a conversation about it. I mean she literally took thirty seconds of my time and she was gone so she she that the impact yeah it was in so much in corporate communication kind of the the nugget or the essential part of what they're trying to say is wrapped in try not to upset you in the flower or jet to a two late so communication is digestible Izak. Is that part of it. You didn't have time to time Petunia. She hit you right between I. I didn't write it was very succinct. Saint it was very concise. It was very direct and it was very to the point so we started thinking about it. Yeah I mean just in that the mistake of not listening sometimes. It's hard to listen when someone dribbling does it ooh. That's the example I was gonNA. Give you first okay so there was a person like this place. I worked a number of years ago that you never stop talking pushing the corner Blah Blah Blah Blah. I can't get a word in edgewise and everybody voided this person so one day I'm walking down the hall and I see her coming towards me and I dove into my office to escape her well. She followed me in and she blocked me and she started gathering labral. Blah Blah Blah Blah abolishing nothing. I'm going crazy inside. My head is like how can I get rid of her. How can I get out of the situation and then I started thinking wait a minute? Why should I do that? I'm studying communication. There's there's gotta be a better approach than me just trying to get rid of her. I've got to be able to deal with somebody who talks too much so I decided to actually listen to her instead of being in my head trying to figure out and escape route so I did I stood really really listening to her like getting who she was as a person from where she was coming from why she felt that way so she's still talking five minutes in ten minutes in about fifteen minutes in she finally ran out of steam and realized that somebody and maybe even for the first time ever was actually listening to her and after that she never did that to me again she still did it to other people but not to be it's like you can make a small shift in how you communicate with other people and it can totally transform transform relationship a lot of times we're like how can I get them to stop doing that. How can I get them to quit that we can't but we can make a shift in how we're communicating with them and that could change everything and that was what happened in this situation Asian and the problem with the people talk to you bye? They're doing it because they feel like no one's listening to them and it's true and the more they talk. They're trying to force you to listen to them. The less you're listening to the the less you're listening to them. The more they talk so it's this vicious circle and that was a way I found to break out of that vicious circle by actually listening doing the thing in the morning people sometimes who who are at a good friend of course he passed he goes. There's some people that are just in transmit vote and sometimes missing the nonverbal cues like okay yeah yeah yeah yeah those those nonverbal cues that have conversations of equal saying you're you're losing some of your ability as as a member of this team or credibility right were but <hes> people they lose interest when you start talking in going around and keep keep hitting the same over in especially when it's a technical type variant league or finance or or it isn't right in how do you deliver is so is it a two full thing in in terms of teaching them to see when stop and listening in observing for choose to know when their message has been create or they asked a question. Does that make sense so what can they do. Yeah actually if there's for example like a team member. That's doing that and it's really interfering with meanings for example you know they're they're being very dominating doing all the talking. Let anyone else get a chance. It would be advisable for whoever the manager or the team leader is is to sit down one on one and have a direct conversation with them and it doesn't mean that you have to be mean nasty about it just has to let them know. This is the impact you know your you've got lots. To say and we appreciate some of your ideas but we need to let other people contribute their ideas too and when you take control nobody else has a chance to do that and a lot of times. This is kind of amazing to initially it was amazing. I'm used to it now so <hes> a lot of times. The people were exhibiting behaviors like that aren't even aware of it. They don't even realize that they're doing it or the negative impact they're having and they're kind of shocked when you tell them that and so that can also help to first of all just even in putting awareness around it making somebody aware of it then they can start catching themselves if they're doing that and there's probably some more specific chips that <hes> somebody could give to that particular person about you know guidelines what to do what not to do things to be aware of to start paying attention to when they catch themselves doing that and then consciously say okay. Stop talking to myself. Give somebody else a chance or as somebody else a question to get them involved sure okay in so it was the next most costly Communications Day gave the the second one is the not showing appreciation that we already mentioned the people will leave. We'll leave the jobs for more recognition and praise take a new job for more money but the leave a job for praise and appreciation now the problem with this is I think a lot of times people are waiting for the leader to you know the speed of the leaders the speed of the gang but that's great in an ideal situation patients that doesn't always work so sometimes we need to give each other that praise and recognition and we can do it to our co workers to our bosses to our subordinates. Just you know give them that pat on the back great job in the meeting this morning. That was a great idea that you suggested also be very specific about what they did and it can create what I like to call the trickle up effect just like we talked earlier about the negative behavior the snowball running out of control until it turns into an avalanche avalanche like coming down. There's also the trickle up a fact it can start at the ground level with people supporting each other giving each other praise and recognition slap each other in the back ham so happy that you're on my team or I really enjoy working with you drunk by team whatever it might be and then that can start shifting the culture and it can even move up and another thing that's connected with that a lot of times things happen and people don't know why like they may offer a suggestion and nobody uses it or they may not get the promotion they were promised and they have no idea why it's important that people know why something did or did not happen otherwise they've got no way to correct it or to fix it and here's an example. This is a company I was trading a couple of years ago and they were had a sales meeting on the phone with people around the country and I was on the phone to but they didn't know I was there. I was listening for the communication breakdowns well this one lady proposed proposed idea to Greece sailed. She was very excited about it. She talked about a minute and a half and then the sales manager completely cut her off. You said that's not going to happen. Dead Silence and I thought Oh my gosh if you keep talking to her like that. She's going withdraw. She's GonNa stop making suggestions. She's probably going to leave and if he saw into her like that you know he's talking to everyone else on the team like that too so it was dead silence and then he changed the subject or something else I thought man he could have done a number of things that's probably the worst thing that he did. It made her lose face in front of her peers. He couldn't just said something like you know. Where'd you get the idea? What what makes you think that's a great idea? That's going to work or even better yet set up a one on one like that. Idea has merit but let's set up a time where we can discuss it further one one obviously he saw problem with it but he didn't even say when it was just Kinda cut her off at the knees which was good so instead. We need to be recognizing people even if we don't use their idea to at least this show appreciation but they're thinking and they're making some kind of a contribution to that so that's that's the communication mistake number two number three is the the misperceptions the misunderstanding that one way communication communication thing we deliver communication we think they got what we said and they didn't at all and we have no idea and we don't even realize it until they're not performing their job correctly things start falling apart and <hes> we we need to make sure that we're asking questions and being engaged with them and that there's back and forth and that there's clarification that they really did understand what was sad so that that loop is closed about alone that alone could eliminate show so many mistakes that are made the delays. The patients thinks slipping through the cracks all of those title challenging when you when you mentioned earlier saying with a smile like okay. Tell me what I said you know but the reality is it's better to find out now if the person understands versus waiting for them to go do that project or working coming back in with the different <hes> doing something different than what was originally yes. That's challenging. There's a lot of sensitive moments within communication. It's asking people to re-communicate back what you said or or the <unk> salesman was bullying. Somebody on the phone is those are right. Those are challenging moments. <hes> we got a few minutes any tips you give to people in terms of a win you gotta you gotTa Open Open up you. GotTa go there and how that conversation like eight. You shut that person down on the call. Would you share with the audience yeah I would say it's always you've got to set boundaries. You can't let people continue the bad behaviors or the bad communication behaviors or whatever it is that they're doing you have to let them know because they also might not know like I mentioned they might not even be aware of what they're doing the impact that they're having so you need to let them no needs to be direct. It does not need to be in front of other people. It should be a one on one conversation with the manager their boss whoever that particular person might be but the the person who's explaining the the impact and what's happening should also be asking questions to find out if they're even aware you know what's going on be involved engaged in other words. It's shouldn't that shouldn't be a one way conversation like okay. I'm going to sit you down. I'm GonNa tell you everything you're doing wrong here. That's not up where it should be coming from where she becoming promise I really want to connect with this person and establishing good relationship so that we can work together to overcome this and produce better results for our team. You know come from the best version in yourself. Don't put the other person on the defensive. Don't make accusations focus on what's an observable and factual not interpretations so in other words say somebody's becoming in late to team meetings. You don't say as something like Oh. You're a slacker you know you're you're always coming in late because that's adding an interpretation. We don't know that they're a slacker. We don't know what's going on. What's observable is you're coming in late and that's impacting the team? Can you know can you help. Enlighten me about what's going on. But can you explain what's happening or is there anything I can help you with their the Wiz the team can help you with to improve the situation or to prevent this from continuing well. That's <hes> does really awful moon. How can people get a hold of you? They like to learn more. We're with you okay. There's several ways I've got a website which is Dr Patty. Malone Dot Com and it's D- are not the whole words spelled out and not D. R. Dot it's D. R. P. A. T. T. Y.. M. A. L. O. N.. E. Dot Com. I don't know he's well but we'll have that in the show notes page as well so people look inside okay great number sorry yeah also the email is info at Dr Patty Malone Dot Com and the phone number is nine four nine two nine seven six four eight eight terrific. Well thank you for joining us today. Dot Loan has been great learning communication how to improve that in you. GotTa answer that if you're doing things in inches or meters Tamar right yeah Oh one last quote one final closure the biggest problem. The biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred yeah. It's a it's an ongoing thing we have more communication in this world than ever but it's an illusion that people are hearing what the other side China's say. Thank you for sharing hope you have a nice any and having you back again in the future. Okay thank you so much you too. This is Alan how before the first pitch he's at the top of his banking game with the Wells Fargo Mobile App he's using Zell to settle up with his friends for that hot dog and drink and checking his account balances for Allen. It's the Game Day Bank. This is your right right here right now back. This is wells Fargo zealous available to the United States Bank account holders only terms and conditions apply message and data rates may apply Gazelle Services Property Early Warning Services L._l._C. Wells Fargo Bank N._A.. Member F._D._I._C. Will Your Child be.

instructor clear Communication Institute America WanNa Stephen Covey California United States Dr Patty Molo NASA BUBBA BUBBA Bubba Bubba Bubba Paul Bady Nasa Casualty Insurance Company University of California Irvin Haywood Jill JOE Santana Senate
Paris Hilton

Anna Faris Is Unqualified

1:02:50 hr | 4 months ago

Paris Hilton

"Hey everyone. Today's guest is Paris Hilton. Who I I met when I was new to Hollywood, it's been about fifteen years since I last saw her and I still feel the same sense of wonder I had then her new documentary. This Paris shows a side of her that no one has ever seen. I don't WanNa say too much but it was not at all what I expected. You can find this as Paris on her youtube channel after the interview I'm joined once again by world renowned clinical sexologist educator and sex coach Dr, Patty Britain. Who has some advice for how to keep that spark alive in a relationship especially during quarantine but first here's Paris. Ladies and gentlemen you're listening to qualify. Own Affairs. High I love. Oh my God my heart is racing right now I'm really nervous why you know I think anybody who encounters you they would be like so full of Shit if this didn't admit. That I think it's because you are larger than life. Thank you. Wouldn't you pay attention to somebody? It feels like the sun is shining on you. Yes but then when you turn away, it's like, Oh, man overcast love you. How are you? How is everything really gun K Yeah. Crazy Times. Yeah. I was really blown away by your documentary bringing bears. which comes out September fourteenth, right? Yes. I was thinking about my encounters with you can I share memory? Yeah. I think the first time I met you I was invited over to your house by Jake Bailey. who was a brilliant makeup artist and? From what I remember that night. I don't know if you remember this night ipe have I remember you do? Yes. Actually a photos from that night of us. Really. Really. Please do oh, my God i. Bet I just like kind of scared. Here. But I remember you were so kind walking into your house and it was incredibly glamorous and they're all these beautiful people around and from my memory you grabbed my hands. And took me upstairs to your bedroom and I didn't really know anybody there and I felt like holy. Shit. I'm getting picked we went into your room. You did my eye makeup I remember. It was like the most surreal night of my life. So. Fun I love that the House was so much fun back in the day or so many fun memories I totally remember and you showed me your closet. It's just as amazing as you can imagine. Thank you. That was like truly a magical night for me. I'm so happy that you came. After I told my parents which I never told them like about. Early Hollywood. Days but anyway, I think Paris Hilton is my best friend. That's who you are to my family Paris. She was like, oh We have to get Paris to Edmonds. Admissions is where I grew up. Yes. My mom is determined to teach you how to make a pie crust I love that. I love to Cook Thirty Fun. So Paris shall I book Your Plane Ticket? Yeah a students. I'll let my mom. and. Then there is another night in a club and it was so happy to see you and I had to pee and you're like, I know this other bathroom is. Went, through the kitchen you were like, saying, hide all the staff. Always know all the secrets. But I like that new have that side to you and I love that your documentary really reveals those things. Yes. Finally. The first time revealed I think that you have something about you though that is very I think human and vulnerable about you. That through all the beauty people can see which is pretty incredible thing. I think. I'm going to cry. Love you. Did you cry during the movie Yes I did. Do you get that a lot with your friends that have seen it. Yes. Did A lot of people know about your journey no-one I never talked about with my family my friends, my sister, my boyfriend's no one was the first time. How long did it take to filming tire documentary? Around a year and a half and did you know that the story would end up where it did? No that was not the original plan at all the film was originally just supposed to be about my life being a business woman you know all the fun parts I never thought I would ever reveal the secrets or really go that deep or really be myself I. Thought I was just GonNa. Continue playing the character. But during this film I just got so close with director. She was just so amazing and made me feel so comfortable where I felt like I could tell her anything for me maybe like the first forty minutes, it's so much glamour and this completely unimaginable live and then the shift is like holy. Heck. So was that about six months him when you were starting to be To a camera and film crew that you trusted that kind of ask you to take a deeper dive into things the I think it was about seven months into filming the director and I had just formed this really close relationship. I was traveling I was on a tour or travelling around Europe and Asia, and then I was in Korea and I just been working nonstop and was on no. Sleep and just feeling just physically and emotionally exhausted and having severe nightmares and all the sudden I just started opening up to her about what I went through and these traumatic experiences and then she just kept pushing asked more and more but I kind of didn't feel comfortable like I don't want to say this on camera I don't want this is part of my story at want people to know. And she convinced me to Thomas Stories like this is who you are. This is real. I want people to know by you are how you are and what happened to you in your life because it's something that's really serious and then I finally felt brave enough to come forward with my full story but it's amazing. A lot of times on podcasts like I'll talk about my high school reunion you know and like whatever that experience was, which was mundane but I think you didn't have anything close to like a high school graduation. Or a prom. or any of the typical. Experiences that most of us have not not get to experience any that. Which makes me sad because I look at movies are seeing my friends and seeing all the memories of people coming graduation and going to the prom and just doing all the things that a normal teenager does into have missed out on that the bums me out the guy I wish I could like go back and be able to do all of that. Paris wasn't all that. Great. I WanNa talk intimately with you because your documentary. So intimate I would think that your high guard blessed, of course be rooted in that massive trauma and I don't want you to have to get into. If, you don't WanNa talk about that at all. Really. Okay. Are you in a relationship now yes. Amazing. Relationship the best one ever. Didn't know it was possible to feel this way or be so happy I feel so safe. So ahead, yes. How long have you been with this person? We've known each other for fifteen years. Oh, that's nice. Yes. We've been friends for a long time and then this Thanksgiving I went to visit my family and the Hamptons and we got invited over to their house or Thanksgiving lunch and them for dinner again and ever since then we have just been inseparable. Seizing, how did you guys me? I'll we met some fifteen years ago at the same house that you went to the Kings road has that I used to live on at one of my epic parties and ever since family friends and then reconnected again thanksgiving. Did. You guys have like a flirty text e thing for fifteen years we just would see each other around but then as soon as we were in the Hamptons and had our first kiss, then we are just texting back and forth, and then we are just inseparable where we've literally not spent a night apart since then do you guys have clam bakes? The hamptons. The hamptons. Yes. That involves like digging a big hole and sticking a bunch of clams in them I don't do that part, but I'm sure someone. I just eat them. But yeah, we do that. We do lakes Moore's on the beach. It's fun I love the Hamptons. Okay I'M GONNA ask you a couple questions if you don't mind. Sure. Okay. What is a trait you dislike and others? I don't like when people are rude to other people or liars I hate liars have a question on here which is on what occasion do you Li-. That I ask everybody and I was thinking about that question in regards to you and I felt like I don't think Paris really lies. No I'm very open. I'm not a liar. I. Think the only thing I would lie about is to not hurt someone's feelings of somebody asked me something and I knew it would make them sad or make them feel insecure than I would just. Like a little white lie no big deal. But I don't lie about big things. It does feel like your life is so large you. Your Life is already kind of unbelievable. Yeah. All right. What is a trait? You dislike in yourself I hate that I'm shy. I think from what I've went through I get like socially awkward sometimes. So just being shy and feeling that way he that feeling can I ask you? Do you feel shy right now a little bit because I always feel shy. Ninety two. Okay what qualities do you look for in a romantic partner? Loyalty. Someone who can make me laugh and someone who's my best friend and HANDSOMENESS IS A. Brownie. I guess. What is your greatest extravagance? I love cars unlike a Tomboy, I love like fast cars. So what's your favorite car I have this car called the slim mobile and it's the new BMW. Convertible and I had it wrapped in this like amazing holographic. It literally looks like a Mermaid Unicorn Skins. Really Cool. Love it. I love the idea of view cruising around the Hamptons in that. D like to drive or do you like to ride I love to drive. Yeah I do too. I'm not quite sure if I'm the best driver but shooting like. I say that I'll like. secretively like the cops are right around the corner. Okay to whom would you most like to apologize and why trying to think No one. I just I really can't think of anyone I feel like I've always been so kind and good to people even when I shouldn't have been. So I don't know I can't really think of anyone I would apologize to because I don't ever do anything. To hurt people's feelings, I'm very sensitive about that Peres that is the fucking radical answer I've ever heard. It's true. Amazing. Yes. Okay. If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be London? I love London from my favorite cities in the world what do you laugh about it? Everything, the people the food shopping the live architecture just it's my favorite places I used to actually live there for six months. I really loved it. But what about the weather the weather can be brutal sometimes so I think if it had la weather, I would live there fulltime. Yeah. I love London to okay. What qualities do you look for in a friend Swan trustworthy who has good intentions Who wants to be my friend for the right reasons and? Sloan, WHO's fun to hang out with and has good energy and again can make me laugh because I love laughing. Okay Peres immanent back into like. La Memories during those times. Like that night from me? I'm probably. Twenty three or twenty four and it was mind blowing for me in kind of just the beauty end like truly the Hollywood -ness of it. But I, imagine you have never had that experience because that has been your life at a pretty young age right like fourteen or fifteen yes. Is there anything that can like blow your minds have you had like in in the last decade something that is amazed you I feel that I've. lived. So many lifetimes because I've done so many things and went so many amazing places and just seen at all the nothing really excites me anymore because I, feel like I've just seen everything and more think one of the things that blew my mind was for one of my anniversaries 'cause my boyfriend I celebrate every single mom and he always just comes up with Lang Super. And recently he set up like this whole movie theater outside at the House on the balcony and it was just like the huge screen and he knows I, Love Marilyn Monroe and I've never seen any of her movies. So he had that and like presence and flowers and candles and it just. I'm not used to guys doing romantic things for me because I just never have had the time and I was never went the right person. So just to have someone do something. So special for me every month just like blows my mind what he does are you guys able to quarantine? Yes Oh. That's great. Yeah and you guys are so in love after what it's now nine months, we just had our nine-month in St Congratulations Paris Yeah said this pandemic is Ben really scary and really hard but like to see the silver lining and the fact that we've been able to spend so much time together, I haven't had to travel to becoming so close I feel like this pandemic is either like a make or break situation with relationships I've seen so many People break up or get divorced, and then I've seen other couples just become. So close because of it Peres could you name like four or five of your most valued items like sentiment or whatever however you wanNA define noth- like if you only take five items if a fire came your way, I would take my eyes loans because obviously I love my phone's and you and my twenty first birthday draft, which is like the iconic spark lead beautiful dress that I love and. I would take like my like I, have these really amazing. Boots from Philip Lion they're all crystallized and I love my know it's pretty random. Now, it's just impractical. I need my twenty first birthday address these minutes now. Out of the fire in style. Okay Paris who would you invite to your dream? Dinner Party I would invites Marilyn Monroe Princess Diana. Snoop Dogg and you. Paris. Thanks. Asked me yes. I would love to come to your dinner? Party. Pretty let but you did pick to tragic ladies there at the top. I. Just I love Them I've always been obsessed with Maryland and Princess Diana. Just think that they're such legends and such amazing women. But there's tragedy in both of them. Yeah. In every still uc of either of them, you can see like a little pain behind the I relate to that. I know has doing press in Madrid for the House bunny and this woman she was telling me that I had a lot of sadness behind my eyes and asking me to talk about that. I'll never forget it and I'm really grateful for it actually because it felt I've been doing press for the House bunny so it was like SORORITIES. It's a whole different thing in America. I don't remember what I said, but I, do think that that's what makes you fascinating too because I think that your appeal was sort of rooted in that on some level we recognized you were playing a character on the simple life at what point did you recognize that you wanted to identify it like that I developed that character like back when I was a teenager I think it was almost like a mask to hide behind and then when I did the show I knew that was the character that I was going to put on and I was going to portray but I didn't know that the show would be such a huge success and I'd have to continue playing that character year after year. So I kind of to Scott almost like stuck in the character where I sometimes even forgot who I was myself because I just was so nonstop and always having to be on and always laying it all the time. So he kind of like lost in and caught up in it and somehow I don't know I just kind of forgot who I was. Are you still close with people that you were really close with ten years ago? Yeah not everybody. Because you kind of learn about people and see that they're not good people. So I'd cut out a lot of people from my life but the good ones I kept, how large is your circle of friends? Not Large mine has like right here. Like I have like a million acquaintances and then I have a very tight group of friends because I just don't trust people and it's hard for me to open up especially I think just from being so busy and focusing so much on my business in my work and having to be on a plane two, hundred, fifty days of the year it's hard to maintain friendships and really build trusting relationships when you're never there most of US experience a lot of loneliness but I can get the idea that you experience it. To more extreme degree. Does. Seem like a lonely lifestyle definitely. Just, having to travel and constantly just be surrounded by strangers and foreign countries. And I've been doing this for so long sats been very, very lonely even though I was always surrounded by so many people I still felt alone because I didn't know anyone. So yeah, it's been hard Paris for some reason it was never easy for me to make friends with other women. I. Don't know if you are the same way like are most of your friends look female. But. I know what you mean i. do find it hard sometimes to be friends with some girls because you can't trust them and there's a lot of especially in this town a lot of girls who like to backstab and just talk behind your back. So hard thing I let people in but I I really am careful about it. Yeah. So Paris Wha, what is the closest you've felt to anonymity in like twenty years or your lifetime? Never, really feel that way. I think sometimes when I do feel that way as when I'm in. On disguise. Like I've even like went out at times with prosthetics really doesn't even look like me at all just to go to Disneyland or somewhere and not. Have to you know basically be doing a meeting great. The whole time I feel like any time I go to one of those places it's just people are lining up and I'm just taking photos the whole time which I don't mind I love being nice to people making people's day and making people smile. But when I go to Disneyland and places like that I wanna go on the rides and just like be normal. I love the idea that we've hopefully just planted into our listeners heads that you could beat any. Yes. Paris could be anywhere. Baldy man behind the cash register that could be Paris. You. Okay, could you handle being in a boat alone for a month? I could handle anything 'cause I've been through it all. But being on a boat for a month alone which be. So born I could deal with it but I would be really bored especially if I had no phone. There's something that's like. wonderfully twisted about that. If I. Ask most people they will be like No. I. Think I might go crazy after week two. You're just like once again, I, don't have to apologize to anybody and yeah give me six months on about all fucking ticket. Stone holidays. All right. Here's something that we talk about in our podcast. Little Bit. The idea of love in your teens is something different because I complained a lot about the idea that we only have one word for love when it's this whole, you know spectrum of. Feelings but do you believe that love in your teens is different from the love in your twenty s Pinko near a teen it's completely different from one year more mature because when you're a teen everything is so new to you. So you're more naive and open to it and excited about it. And that I feel like when you go through things and breakups and. You know maybe abusive relationships. There's so many things that can happen that. Kind of strip that away from you where the love that you felt back. Then you won't feel as much anymore because you lose yourself off from love because of going through certain things I don personal experience. That's how I think when we first in love when I was like sixteen, I thought I was in love because there was like my first boyfriend but I think it was just me being a kid. I fell into that trap to. Oh my God but it sure felt like love it was dizzying like I couldn't. Focus on anything else. I love. Okay when or where were you happiest now right now with me? Yes. All the real. Oh. Oh Jeez. So happy these past few months suspend the best time I live. My relationship is what makes me so happy because I'm just not used to feeling like this? Yeah. Okay Peres what's your favorite ice cream flavor? Have lots of my most favorite cookies and cream. That's pretty frequent one. But a lot of the boys do vanilla so boring well, they like to add toppings which I think is sort of indicative of. Our Culture Menendez making your own kind of ice cream I love doing that too literally order like. A Big Cup of dislike the smashed up like butterfinger and Lan another come of just like hot butterscotch caramel and I just basically eat out alone with has been. It's so good. Do you have in a rational fear? The other one thing I'm scared of his death because I don't know what happens why because if there's nothing that I would be so boring boredom that's your biggest fear you mentioned it on the boat. All right. We're putting this together I hate being bored Oh God no I'm really nervous again, my boring you rally really not. This is gonNA haunt me tonight. A. Okay. Who would you call if you got food poisoning and couldn't really move? My mom should probably know what to deal with to come over yes, we're super close. All right. So you can handle being alone but you can't handle Boorda I can handle it i. just don't enjoy it. I like to be entertained and have fun. All right. What's your favorite rainy day movie I? Love there's something about Mary. Just think that Louis is so hilarious Ben Stiller it's such a fun movie. So hilarious. Okay what haven't you taken the time to learn about? Foreign languages I went to Lisa I'll say to Los Angeles. And we had to speak French and because I've never used it after that I just completely forgot it and I just think it's such a shame being named Paris and not being able to speak French. So that's one thing. Do you want me to hook you up with the French tutor? Sure we? Why do I have this feeling that I feel like you wouldn't take the zoom classes that I signed you up for Isleta. to He doesn't lie. Yup. Yup. Paris, how do you imagine your life? If let's say at age nine year, parents were taking new to see the train station in downtown. Los. Angeles. And you hopped on a train and you ended up like with no identity name. Let's say Omaha and this Nice family took you in and. which you be do you think that you would be like I don't know manager at the Q. and like head cheerleader the I like the head cheerleader let be like that Marianne or an artist painting. I don't think so. No. You're like biggest fear is boredom. True. I would think that you'd be like well, I wouldn't fucking stay. Be Often New York. Let's draft had to stay there. No. I get the hell out of there and go to New York or in lead. and. By the way you mentioned or I think your mom mentioned that you wanted to be a veterinarian. Yes. Okay. I know how much you love animals. You always have in your closer to animals than you are to people except I think I the action but I don't see you as a veterinarian if you're most exciting thing is removing like spleen from somebody's old cat like sounds beard all. Just. lost. Not, only boring just gross and hard. Yes. So when we talk about your alternate life, I, think we really have to visualize that it's like just docking about you know an impossibility. Yeah you're right I agree just learn animal ever does not mean you WanNa be that. Doesn't suit. Okay. Did you play with barbies growing up? Yes I still collect them. Were they your most favorite toy? Yeah. I was a tomboy. So I liked other types of tweets as well. But like what other types just like video games and I, don't know I've always collected like figurines and just different anime characters and sailor moon. I always love Mardi wait. Did you ever do anything perverse with your barbies? I got to an age I'd heard of the concept of Hor. Houses. So I started making like Barbie whorehouse. have like the male customers come dress up the little rooms watch how old real maybe around eleven or something you didn't do anything like that. Come on. No I've never heard anyone do anything like that. Exciting friends. And I should have been hanging out with you and I was little. I would take him to the ducks. Yeah. Yeah we also put used to play Barbie. Murder Mystery. So you didn't do that either. No. I would just dress them up and that was about a no killing. You cut their hair yeah. When I was very little. Cut All the hair off some of them are that's mean did you do that to your sisters to one time? Cut. Nikki's bangs off and she was two years old I think because it was like the new baby and I was jealous. So I like literally cut off her bangs my mom is so past. What other things have you done to your sister? come on come as she was more of the meanwhile because she would always tell on me. So Nikki was always like the good wine and You're like a mob boss. Because she's a rat, she's worse. Yes. Very, Hilton is anti whistle blower. What else she was actually always acted like the big sister like she was always the one who is the boss like in charge and would always tell me what to do. We have this relationship where I've always like looked up to her as like my big sister she's always been the one who's been more mature. Do you still believe that? Yes, but the quality make you mad you know how? Like sometimes one sibling is Perceived to be good and responsible. And the other one isn't and they kind of feed into that identity. So you were solid in like being the bad one. Noble you never like nothing bad is perhaps never gotten to say nothing like that. The only thing I was annoyed was when I was little like a teenager, Nikki would always love to Tattletale to my parents so that would just make me annoyed obviously. Today's episode of unqualified is brought to you in part by babble. If you're looking to learn a new language or just brush up on a language for that secret mission where you really need to blend in babble can help you speak the language of your choice faster than you think I took two years of Italian in college and at some point in the following twenty years, I seem to have forgotten pretty much everything. Now about a month of what anyone would describe as minimal effort, I can honestly tell you the Babbel's method of teaching is so different that it feels like I've already learned mourn that month babble is proven get. You speaking language within weeks and is designed with real world conversation in mind over one hundred language experts came together to create the most effective teaching methods and speech recognition technology really helps your pronunciation and accent the daily lessons take only ten to fifteen minutes beginning with words and phrases that gradually become more complex without you really noticing right now when you purchase a three month subscription, babble will give our listeners three additional months for free with Promo Code. ANA that's three additional months free. If you go to BABBLE DOT COM and use Promo Code Ana on your three month subscription. That's B. A. B. B. E. L. Dot Com Promo Code on. This episode of unqualified is brought to you in part by Miller lite as the original beer. Miller lite has always been there to bring people together through Miller time. My family has a yearly tradition of going to Ross Lake in the cascade mountains we've been going there since I was a kid in it's one of my favorite places in the world just imagine mountains, trees, water, and sky. It was there with my dad and brother that I drink my I fear a Miller lite, of course, spending time with friends and family. Looks Pretty. Different right now, and as you can imagine, we didn't make this year not willing to give up on the edition family is planning a virtual trip where we all get together over zoom to tell stories about the times. We've spent the lake at a few lights and maybe things won't seem different after all Miller lite great taste with only ninety six calories and three point two carbs. However, you and your friends are enjoying Miller time this summer you can have the original light beer delivered by going to Miller lite dot com forward slash. And find the delivery options near you celebrate responsibly Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee Wisconsin Ninety six calories in three point two carbs per twelve ounces. Hey, Paris for what historical figure would you start a fan club for the stoorikhel a year. Marilyn. Would you think you love about her I don't know as hers very special and just her photos are too. So iconic timeless and after watching more of her films now and like a documentary on her just seeing how much she went through an just how strong was. Her whole story is just very fascinated. Paris. Are you still really close with your director of the documentary? Yes. I want to ask you dumb things like how have you changed but avid hated somebody asked me that because I don't even know if one can have perspective on that accurately but have you changed Definitely. Changed in so many ways 'cause I honestly didn't even know I truly was up until this past year this film. So I just learned so much about myself and I think just from going what I went through I just tried to. Bury my emotions. So just like letting that all out was very. Therapeutic. Experience Paris. What's your favorite holiday? Halloween I love Halloween so much love dressing up. I'm so sad there's probably not going to be Halloween. This year says like I live for Halloween like sometimes like seven to ten days of just amazing parties dressing up in different costumes every single day. Love it Peres a hate Halloween how do you hate it Fast. I hated it because I kind of feel like I dress for a living. So if there's a little bit of a Chore Factor But the bigger issue is dressing up in something sexy makes me uncomfortable on a base level. But then if I don't if I look really unattractive and do something funny or clever. You think it's going well for like fifteen minutes and you're just jealous of all the other girls hot. I've never done a funny costume or any of that. So I don't even know how that feels. Not. Great. Yes. That's hilarious. Yeah I don't know I feel like Halloween is like the ultimate excuse to distress as sexy as possible and get away with it yeah. You've just summed up. Like. My. Fundamental Uncomfortable Association of God, with that Palette. Okay. When do you feel your most independent when I'm skydiving? I love to skydive and six times Harris. You've given me the most amazing answers to like all my questions. I've never been skydiving some credible. You know earlier when I asked you about fear do you have any irrational fears like beside you know I mean death feels pretty rational. Irrational Pretty. Fearless I've always been daredevil jumping out of a plane that many times and just things I do I feel I have been through so much that nothing really scares me. Okay, but what about bees I hit us I don't know anyone who likes peas maybe beekeepers honey out of them but I has you know how opposites attract. I really like bees watch. You're not scared of them. No no I'm not even stone. Yeah And you liked them. Paris I like bees so much that when I was a kid I ordered in the mail, a bumblebee nests lico all like wooden. Container and you have to. Find. Like wild mouse nesting to attract the Queen bumble bee when she comes out of. Hibernation in the spring. Okay what about your a rustling or a shadow in the backyard would be terrified if someone was in the backyard. A one time a couple years ago. This man was like four thirty in the morning and I could hear this loud banging and I went downstairs and there is this man in my backyard. which was banging on my windows to my living room and just trying to get in Paris. What did you do? I was freaking out and my boyfriend at the time was with me. Thank God and he had a gun. So he went outside the gun to the jazz had a call. The police took an hour to come, and then the police came and they talked to him and I was standing there and he he said I just escaped from a mental institution I went to Hollywood Boulevard I bought a star map. I saw Paris Hilton's name I. Know that she has a lot of money thousand. I was GONNA come here and killer, and he just set it like it was a normal thing. So that was to refine. Yeah. That's awful. Pretty scary about thank God that I woke up. He didn't just come in because I don't think I would be here today otherwise. Do you find that it's hard to like when you are out in public d? You tend to always look down because making contact means engagement. Yeah I get shy if I know the person than I can but usually, I feel like so many people are always looking at me but if I look up in a catch someone's eye, just I get immediately, really shy I used to live by Hollywood and highland. And if I wandered around there, I I found that people wouldn't recognize me at all. Even the were a ton of tourists. There's so many other things to look at. Like why isn't angry? Yeah. I don't know if I would describe you as shy I would almost describe you as this ethereal alien. Cereal. Like Oh, where do I fit in with his human? Land I cracked you open didn't I? Yes. I knew it Peres. Perez in one word, how would you like to be remembered kind Oh I. Love that. Embarrass I. Really Love Your Documentary in Kiel. It's unbelievably. Oil It goes to this beautiful place and I can't thank you enough for doing this with me. I really appreciate it. Thanks Yale and I miss you. I love you. I love you and thank you for making me feel like a cool girl in our law I love you. You're so awesome. All right. If I dialing by. Hey everyone I'm excited to have Dr Patty Britain back with more straightforward and uninhibited advice on ways to improve our sex lives. If you want more of Dr Patty, you can find her at Dr Patty Britain dot com links can be found in our show notes. Dr, Patty thank you so much for joining us. Again you are invaluable ir enjoying it immensely we are going to call. Ashley. Hello Hi Ashley you're here with myself. and Dr Patty Britain I high. Guys. Oh. Great. How are you? Good Good Ashley. Thank you so much for doing this. You tell us what's going on yeah for sure So my boyfriend and I've been together for over seven years now. And we've always been like very outgoing couple together where we go to parties and we travel a lot for concerts or football games and stuff which usually results in a lot of sexy time. Put it that way, and since cove it started I've noticed that physically that connection kind of lulled a little bit because we've been around each other twenty, four seven, we're not going anywhere. We're not doing anything, and so I talked to my best friend about it and she kind of in the same boat to the long-term relationship. So we were just kinda wondering like what's advice and to try and like reignite that physical connection when you're such close quarters all the time oh my gosh actually. Love the US this question because. We are all there. You are every person on earth in a relationship. Well, yeah, and I find like it's weird when you get in relationships especially when their long-term people don't necessarily talk about sex anymore and it's kind of taboo or it's just put a negative laid when really it's just like what are you guys doing but people don't really talk like that. So I was really looking forward to getting some more advice on that. That's an interesting thing to say but you're right. It's almost like when you're couple friends get to know you guys you can't like spill the beans about your sex life as you once could in the beginning of a relationship. Yes. For sure dodger Patty, what do we do to have sex a lot these days? Well, this is the billion dollar question that's going on in bedrooms all over the world because so many people are cooped up with their once beloved. Being a little sarcastic and I mean, the lust goes away the love is still there I think that the love is easy to maintain but the lust, the desire, right that kind of I want her I want him I want them. and. One of the things that you said is so important, which is that you use to change the context. Of where you spent time and you had adventures that took you out of kind of the normal living day to day in your environment. Right. When you go to a game or you go to concert, you travel to a different city and it's interesting just attended a Webinar last week on male sexuality and it was really about couples and he was really talking about how females are so context driven when it comes to turning on what do you mean? Okay. So that what the setting is like is really a big part of it. And I think that what's happening for you and it's so common is it's kind of like, okay. Same stuff different day. and Are you working at home the two of you we were I just gotta go ahead about a month ago to go back to work. So we've started to get a little bit of separation but yeah, for about three or four months. Yeah. Like he had upstairs downstairs exactly. So there's no room for longing. Okay, and this is what's killing desire is that each of you is to available literally to available and you're suffocated. I hear it all the time from my clients and the students that I trained who are doing the same kind of work. So you have to create a form of separation and that's why when you travel, you're actually separating from day to day living together. And when one of you goes to work or one of you even goes to trader Joe's to go shopping. You break that monotony of having each other around all the time 'cause you can't want when you have what you want. That makes sense for sure and I think in my context to is like I, didn't mean it in a negative way but like I enjoy missing the person that I'm with. I enjoy that feeling of wanting to see them. Yes, and you can't have that when there's no one to miss or nothing to miss exactly and they give you this really cool tool that might help you a sex therapist named. Jack Marin created this formula and it's called the formula of sexual excitement and desire. Okay you want to hear it. Yes. It's really simple. You could write it down E. The letter e for excitement equals a so there has to be attraction. You guys already have attraction or you wouldn't be together and here's the most important part. Plus P. O. for perceived obstacle. That's why you can't miss him. There's no obstacle and perceived obstacle. This is why couples fight by the way because when they fight what they create is an obstacle between them and then they have the best sex called make-up's. Right. Dr. Patty. I was going to give Ashley the advice of like when she gets home from work going to her bedroom wearing a really tiny skirt with no underwear and talking about how some made up dude was hitting on her at Work Oh man I know. Is that an example of perceived obstacle. Yes and it could be real or imagined. Hey. Well hopefully, you're partners knows exactly what you're up to. So you just hit on another like a vein in this search for the gold right? Here's the other vein. Sexy comes from inside US sexy not desire not sexual, but feeling sexy is from the inside. And there's something that happens when we get sexy ourselves and then we kind of Strut parade around with our partner and I think that you're onto something. Ana. Which is first of all separate yourself that separation. That's the key here perceived obstacle equal separation. You create that by putting on something that makes you feel sexy. What makes you feel sexy it's not sweat I'll bet. No. And there's been a lot of that. Yes. You know the joke. What are those? They're called pants. That's what happened in the world observing. What makes you feel sexy what kind of outfit would make you feel sexy. I'm a teddy girl yeah. I in tips have always been my best features. So I'm always located tops. The yeah. Hey So what about a shelf raw about if I don't know what that is, it holds the bottom of the breasts up. But they rest on it like a shell. So it's kind of a push up but open and then one of my favorites is nipple. Jewelry. So nipple jewelry does two things. It's a visual for your partner and you and the mirror right. But. Here's this really piece of science. What happens when we stimulate a nipple is the same lighting up the brain as when we stimulate the. The Nipple connects to our sexual parts. Literally Isn't that amazing? Yeah. They have these really cool of they're called nooses. So you can get these dangling nooses that go around the nipple and they have like a jewel hanging get them online just google. Yes. Can I tell you something that's happening right now? Dr Patty. Dear what. My partner Michael. Right. Now is looking up nipple through. Apparently. We're onboard. Customer. Approve Okay But the thing is you take this little news around your nipple right and you tight net and so you're actually like pinching the nipple, which is creating a stimulation that goes right to your brain. Just like you were having someone did Ling your clitoris imagine I am kind of. Dr Betty you people have or Gazprom's with nipple stimulation alone. Some Ken. Yes Wow Yeah It depends on your unique body for everybody is listening everybody is wired differently literally wired with nerve cords. But the fact is that many many males and females Are aroused through nipple play and men can enjoy that too. This is something that I think we as girls and women don't really think about that much. You write that involves don't know what to do with them. Over afraid to hurt A, we don't want harm them. Very delicate, tight. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Good actually. Now, wait a minute. Man Lang very hard squeeze. This is why you have to communicate with your partner. Because you have to find out what your partner enjoys deserves some males who actually enjoy really hard ball play and some don't want touched it. Awesome like you to bite some like you lick. Or just squeeze or rub or tickle with the end of a nail, all kinds of behaviors but it depends on the body. So back to what would make you feel sexy what else would make you feel sexy like high cut French lays Bong panties. Oh totally. Yeah. I'm a big Fan. I love dressing out. So I would definitely should probably definitely take notes and incorporate more of that during these times for sure. What about heels like High Heel Lady Gaga Kinda stuff? Oh Gosh. I would be more of stocking versus a he'll person if I was going for leg just because I am short and clumsy and he'll okay I don't know how you did it in the House Bunny Alabama Godhra. I can't tell you how many times I almost broke my back. A couple of shots where I'm wobbling. I was about to go down. But actually I do it that in this time, I haven't had all of us a reason to dress up at all. So it's really nice that it's odd reserved for that like I. Hate wearing heels in my daily life I hate it but it has been so fun to wear some my pretty sexy heels I only have to walk from the closet the bedroom. Like seven. But that's been really fun and makes me feel very sexy I mean that must be very common. Right Dr Patty that if you are wearing something like a thong or something that is constantly stimulating you a little bit that's reminding you of your body and for me that feeling of power that heals give power ends weakness all at the same time that wonderful combination. Well I'm going to go one better, and that is to suggest that there so many leisure products on the market today, and some of them come from like ancient practices of what were called Ben Wa balls or a little ball bearings or little objects that used to be put in the woman's Vagina to constantly remind her and stimulate her so that she was constantly. lubricated and ready for sex. So today's world of the sex toy generation has a lot of these products that are safe that are made of either a medical grade silicone which won't harm you or even carve stones. You know at some really beautiful decorative kind of pleasure products. But if you wanted to do something really fun, you could wear some of these they might. Be, called a K. Goal Ball because they're also used to strengthen the K. goals, which is the muscle that's under girdle of our pelvic floor, the PC muscles, and so if you wore those, you would be stimulating yourself just like you just set on it and reminding your body all the time that you are there, and that's part of keeping your body hot and wanting. that. Makes Sense. Yes that. That's great. I think it's just like you get in those slumps right? Where like same the same the same and you get not necessarily board but you're doorman has kind of the way I put it in like you forget about that stimulating pleasure and stuff that makes you feel sexy. Yeah. Ashley, I'm so with you I'm going to say one other thing that I hadn't said before that I want to really touch base on because it's something I hear a lot from my clients around the world. And that is when I get a couple on their new couples clients to mine and they say, we're not having sex where just not where sex list we don't touch any more, but we're best friends and I go. I'm so sorry to hear that. Reason, I, say that is I. Think it's great that a couple can be best friends, but it can be deadly to desire the other person as an erotic object. Now, that may sound weird. 'cause we're object defying our partner, but we have to in a way we have to separate and want that person and that person's body mind soul. Whatever it is that you want, and that might help you as well to stop seeing each other as kind of family. Good friends, besties but lovers, there's a different energy when you show up as lovers does that kind of relate back to what you were saying about when a couple of fights that the tension can be sort of a kickstarter? Yes. Angers a really cool emotion. Most of the time, we look at anger and relationships and we go oh no anger but it's actually a really high energy emotion and it's a push away emotion anger goes out from us even if we don't express it, that's how we feel like lot of. You know under wall. And anger is a way to create separation, but it has to then finish you can't let anger. Fester Erdal kill a relationship. So Y- it's like you know pop. Don't hold back but finished the pop. And I think that fighting is a great way of building passion. Anger is passionate passionate, and that's what you're lacking as well. When you get settled that kind of feeling of words those saddle. It's just not what you want to be sexual and Hungary for each other. I love the idea of Ashley making up a character named Sean work. He just won't stop staring at her tits and you know and it's just so frustrating, Sean, always like staring. I might steal from you I hope. Not Copyrighted. Actually Feel good because that's. Obstacle that you need to create the tension and the resistance and the separation. And it's totally made up, but it doesn't matter because the energies real for sure I. Love the idea of a short skirt though and like little kitten heels to no wonder where or maybe a tiny thong. Chrysler. Excellent fans. And then you just have to be bending over all the time you need to. You know constantly dropping things I can do this. Yes totally. Ashley. Thank you so much. This moves really fun for me to you. Know we're all in this together. It sounds like you're in a relationship that you love and facing the problem and have the courage to talk about the problem that most of us have. So I can't thank you enough for sure. You give me lots of ideas. Good. and just get out of the house at times you know safely. Go take a walk for an hour and be gone yeah. I've been wearing sweats for the last six months to but. I love the idea of like wearing really tight shirts again, just something that makes me aware of my own body. So I can absorb sort of that feeling of my own sexuality to, and you're right Dr Patty that sexuality comes from within and can't be taught or does it have to do with sort of confidence or I mean I don't know shower can be taught will if you adjust to the idea of like I'm. Just. Write that on the mirror with lipstick every morning I'm sexiest. Well you can play with that. You know the language is really playful and it's also got energy in it. You feel that like when you say I fuck -able, there's something different from I love him. It's a really different feeling. So you have to power yourself up you can use all of your senses to awaken yourself I mean, I do courses outfielder sexy. There's a lot to say about it just keeping your consciousness that little formula of E. Equals a less peo- and keep looking for the peos because that's going to help you a lot in keeping that separation going, and then wanting to come back together literally and figuratively for sure awesome. Thank you guys so much I appreciate. Actually thank you so much in Diet can't thank you enough for talking with. PODCAST and it was great to be a part of it Ashley. Thanks again I hope that you guys leg. Bang. He's not home yet. So I have time to get ready. ooh. Jewelry. Sweetie. Thank you. Dr Patty. Thank you. Once again, you are just incredible of what you do and love love talking to you and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. Thank you again. bye-bye. Thanks so much for by.

Paris Dr. Patty Peres partner Dr Patty Britain Hollywood Ashley Paris Hilton US Marilyn Monroe director Paris Hilton Paris Own Affairs Ben Stiller youtube BMW
236: The Amazing Expanded Orgasm

Relationship Advice

42:25 min | 1 year ago

236: The Amazing Expanded Orgasm

"Chris what's going on mm thanks for tuning in. Thanks for joining us today. Today we have Susan Bratton and she is a bestselling author of thirty four four books and online programs that teach passionate lovemaking bedroom communication skills and restorative sexual wellness techniques. And today we dive in Talk about the expanded orgasm practice and big our long orgasms. Potentially I guess for the women than for men. These are new possibilities that that Seren I learned existed and and really get into talking about like the details of of that a bit but then also just connecting with your partner spiritually through who orgasm sex as a meditation and I think that's kind of an interesting area to explore In your life if in your relationship I think a lot of times. That's repressed a lot in the West in the United States and Susan is not shy as in. Indeed I've into this topic and learn some interesting things and as always thank you guys for tuning in for listening for sharing the podcast with your friends and family family and visiting our website. We have a lot of great free. Resources are fourteen day. Happy couple challenge and a lot of worksheets that you can print out and use with your partner for exercises and tools to improve your relationship so we hope you guys check that out. I do podcasts Dot Com and enjoy the episode today. The show is brought to you by our online course spark my relationship create more passion improve your communication and build a stronger more intimate connection with your partner unless yes the ninety days we've collaborated with fifteen therapists and psychologists to bring you the strategies marriage therapists teach their clients to unlock a special offer. Only for for our podcast listeners visit sparked my relationship dot com slash unlock. That's spark my relationship dot com slash. Unlock doc think hi Susan. Thanks so much for joining us on the show today. Sarah I'm excited to talk about orgasms. Yes we thought a great place rape great place to start would be to talk about your fifteen year expanded orgasm practice. What is that in? How is that going going? It's going great. I wish there was more time in all honesty. I don't Recently my husband and I have fallen off of our practice because we're launching new the company together and it's definitely taken a toll on how much expanded orgasm we've been doing so you know. That's part of life is the EBB. Uh and the flow of the time that you have together but let me explain. When an expanded orgasm practice is and why it was so pivotal him evitable why it was so pivotal in my not only my personal the life but my professional life my arid life just how something as simple as an expanded orgasm practice with your partner? It can be really a cornerstone of your whole way of being on this ladder. I mean that's how powerful and profound something like an expanded orgasm practice can be so will let me explain it by starting with a little story and then I'm GonNa tell you how. How do we find out about it? What got us into it? How did it affect our lives? What the practice is really want to give you at whole? He's a very high level because It's hitting each one of those things that makes it okay. I get what you're talking about. What is this expanded orgasm thing? My husband and I almost got divorced about eleven years into our relationship because our sex life had fallen apart and a big part of that was because I was unable to have orgasms from intercourse and a lot of women think that they are broken because they can't do that or they think Oh. I'm not a person who can do that. And that's it's not true at all and what I found in the last fifteen years subsequently is that orgasms are a learned skill and that some people naturally have the ability to do one kind of orgasm or another for example some some women ejaculate very early in their sexual experience and often they get shamed for it and they retract from it or they try not to do it and they hold back because it's something that people are really they don't know they don't understand and then I mean I just just got an email. I have sex tips email newsletter and I just got an email about the subject. Line of the email was She she flooded the bed with her. Feminine Feminine Lee waters or something like that and a guy replied and he goes. Yeah she just all over the bad and I thought I. This is what we're still L.. Dealing with in the twenty first century people are still so ignorant they are they are ignorant they do not understand. How a woman's body works and that female female ejaculation is just a natural expression of our surrendered pleasure? And so you know. A lot of women have been shut down uh-huh by their partners out of ignorance which is a shame and women think that they can't do something because they didn't do it yet and so a big part of what what I do is I try to teach people across the gender spectrum of what our physical emotional 's virtual orgasmic capacity. Really really is I call myself. An orgasmic thought and I came to this at about mid forties and because we almost I got divorced. We decided that we loved each other. We had a great platonic relationship. We had our beautiful daughter together. We needed to work on our sex life to get our sex sex life and we did therapy. We did personal development and we did a lot of sex workshops to learn techniques. What are the sex workshops that we we went to was with a woman named Dr Patty Taylor and she had been part of an organization called more university in in northern California which is where all the good sex stuff is happening is northern California right? It's really too hot. Bed of the human potential movement and Human Sexual Potential Movement and Dr. Patty taught us about this. ORGASMIC stroking practice and then we also at the same time went to another workshop by an organization called one taste raced and won taste teaches an alternative brand. If you will of this practice called orgasmic meditation it's also known as deliver orgasm extended massive orgasm Expanded Orgasm it's it's it has a lot of names but what it really is is a clitoral stroking practice that allows the female bodied the woman to receive orgasmic pleasure. Pleasure without any pressure at all to do anything about it like Mon or war rise or have sex with you afterward. Or there's no you do me I'll do you back. It is a it is is a closed experience. It's a it's an experience unto itself that requires no other thing than to learn how to receive pleasure and to ride that pleasure that you are being given selflessly by a partner. A partner of any gender across the gender spectrum the clitoris being this beautiful body of tissue that is full of erectile tissue that has is a glance and a shaft and arms and legs are all BSE that as well as not the g spot at the area spongy tissue that wraps around the aretha and goes along the top side of the vagina and and the perennials sponge another spongy tissue between the autumn of the vagina the rectum all this beautiful tissue needs to get fully engorged filled with blood and then that clitoris instead of being vibrated needed or sock door. door robbed. Or what have you. What it gets is a tiny little delicate stroke? Schroeck there these. I'll explain it. The expanded orgasm is practice is a practice where a couple comes together once a week twice a week three times a week every day. Whatever for five minutes ten minutes fifteen minutes a half hour an hour? If you're doing the kinds of things I was doing was seeing How long I could stay in orgasm and when you do this? There's three opening strokes. There's the bread and butter stroke broke. And there's a closing stroke so it's a form like a martial arts form or Yoga Asana or anything that you learn. It is a structured experience in. It's a structure sure because the structure works on our human body and the the bread and butter stroke. That gets you into the Orgasm Bay. All get you in and and pull you out of the experience by the bread and butter stroke is actually a very very light stroke using the tip the most sensitive tip of your finger with really nice lube up under the hood of the Clitoris. A tiny little bit and stroking a very light consistent stroke on the clitoris. where the bulk of the nerve endings come out of the body and for most women about eighty five ninety percent of women? It's slightly off the left edge of for clitorises. She's looking down or as your looking at her. Two o'clock off the top. If twelve o'clock is the top of the clitoral hood some women on the other side. His were all wired a bit differently. And when you are able to get this kind of very Mary Lights stroking what allows you to. Do you know what an orgasm looks like on a chart. You go up. Do you have that moment of climax and then you fall off right. That's the masters and Johnson or Kinsey style of nineteen fifties nineteen sixties orgasmic expression Russia. That's not orgasmic potential. That's just what people knew they could do and how they were doing it. The same as a man is having a And a jacket with his orgasm and then he's done. He's had his one and he's done. That's not his capability. He's capability to have ongoing full-body Orgasms uh-huh that feel just like that moment. Jackie Latian where he can just keep coming and coming and coming but he in his mind. He thinks that that's what orgasm looks like. So that's what he's doing so my role has been to expand the awareness of the possibility of what orgasmic potential is. And when you haven't expanded orgasm practice especially as a woman when you are filled up with orgasm when you get into this orgasmic state and you're able to stay in the state and you begin to feel how. How much orgasmic potential you have? You begin to want to see how far you can go with it and what an expanded orgasm looks like. Is You go you I I like it at two riding hiding away so we're talking about surfing here. You're on a nice big board on a nice break rolls that starts way out off the beach you roll your new ride that way then instead of that climax going up and being done and falling off a cliff what you're doing is you're going up into the orgasm and then you're riding that orgasm way back to the beach but instead of getting off the board it's like you automatically mattingly get put back out in the ocean and you get on another wave and you arrive that when it's a little bit bigger and then you pop back magically right another one and it's even bigger and longer and so what we're talking about is taking that moment climates and stretching it out like Taffy so that you're just right moment moment of climax and is just feeling incredible and you're actually staying in it because you're getting this light soft consistent stroke. It feels so perfect on your clitoris that you don't it doesn't end you. Just you're taking you. He's he or. She is pushing the they is pushing that surfboard for you. And your riding and you're stacking and expanding the climax they etter better and longer and longer until basically you learn how to orgasm for an hour and the only reason you have to stop is you gotta take a break and take glass lasts water. I mean you just incoming incoming and what you learn. Is that if you are. Just they're totally silent and you're locked in a con- joined Trans State limits connected to your lover and they're taking you on the ride and you're riding their ride there the surfboard there the energy and you're ride and you're resting on that board riding that orgasm that you have this ability to suddenly have a have a level of sensation that you've never had before and it becomes a meditation that you two are in where it is very spiritual and you can be you can feel and touch guy source. God God head whatever you WanNa call that all the life and all living things you you you melt away and there's no ego because you're not doing anything you're riding and being in the moment pleasure together and when you do that you suddenly have this out of body cosmic connection to all living things it takes a while to get out there and it takes a while to learn the skill and it's a little scary. I remember we're talking to Dr Patty and saying I'm afraid I'm out so far in my orgasm that I'm afraid it's it's dark out there. It's like I'm I'm at the edge of laxness and I'm afraid I literally am telling you that I I have goosebumps right now remembering my fear. You're in that level of orgasmic capacity where I was afraid to to step off the cliff into nothingness and she said step off. Go out there getting goosebumps again. Go out there. And that's the first time that I had a meditative. Practice orgasmic meditative practice. Where you're a touched? All living things felt connected to life in a way that I've never felt before Susan so the question. This sounds amazing and in two separate questions one. I know you mentioned the classes to get this technique for for women so I want to hear more about that but then as a man can I have an hour along orgasm is is that something in also. I totally follow you and I love your energy in relation into this because this is an area that I've wanted to explore because I feel like sexuality and in particular the orgasm it's like it's a very obviously the stating the obvious but it's a very unique moment in being a human and we kind of lose control and it feels a static and it's like but it's it's an area that we don't really explore individually and as a culture. It's taboo so I love the work that you're doing to make it not that in taking it as almost spiritual practice I think. That's that's a really unique in cool perspective because it it is like cosmic other worldly thing that goes on in us. So can I have an hour long orgasm before we continue on. We're GONNA take a short break to tell you about our sponsors. Today's episode. What is brought to you by our course spark my relationship? You're listening to the PODCAST. So you probably want to create more passion improve your communication and and build a stronger more intimate connection with your partner and if you can do it in less than ninety days even better we say it all the time on the show. A Mediocre Mediocre relationship is easy but a passionate authentic in satisfying relationship takes work. It doesn't just happen on its own in. That's why Sarah really did all the heavy lifting on this this course with the therapist that we've had on on the show to really help you. With the specific tools exercises needed to create the lassen positive improvements rather than just listening to the show and not really implementing. This is a great way to have some accountability in a structured format to put the tools that we talk about on the show into practice. Actes you can do this in ninety days. You can do it from home. And it is self paced so it is perfect for turning up the heat in your relationship relationship having some fun together and really revolutionizing your intimacy and communication and like chase mezin before we've worked with fifteen psychologists psychologists and therapists to bring you the strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients. And just some of those strategies are how to eliminate unhelpful old. Old Habits develop mindful awareness to help improve stress management learn healthy and successful communication tools. Create a deeper more intimate bond and strengthen bring thin your couple micro culture and future together so for our listeners. Only we are offering a special promo for the course you can find it. At spark spark my relationship dot com forward slash. Unlock and you can access a special pricing just for you guys so again. Checkout spark my relationship dot com forward slash. Unlock for your Special Promo. Check it out. Waste any more time to it in today's episode is also brought to you by better help. We mentioned it a lot on the show but therapy is really one of the the best things you can do as an individual and potentially as a couple to improve your personal life and your relationships and better help connects issue with the professional counselor in a safe and online environment. You can communicate with your therapist via text chat phone and video and they're over three thousand. US licensed therapists across all fifty states. Who specialized in relationships? Depression stress anxiety self self esteem anger trauma and many more areas. Anything you share is confidential. And if you're not happy with your counselor for any reason you can request quest a new one at any time for no additional charge better help is secure convenient in professional and best of all. It is truly an an affordable option. Our listeners get ten percent off your first month with the Discount Code. I do so get started today. Go to better help dot com slash. I do and simply fill out the questionnaire to help them. Assess your needs and get you match the counselor. You'll love that's better help dot com slash. I do it to get ten percent off your first month. So a Lotta Times at this point people ask me well. What's in it for the man you know what's in it for the guy he's just giving and giving and giving and can he have the experience to so let me? Let me take both of those things as an answer them as separate pieces there are two sides of the same coin. Often women are the ones who say but why is he gonNa give me this so I explain number. One men want to give their partners. Incredible pleasure they. I have found that men will often sacrifice their own pleasure to give their partner pleasure daycare more about her satisfaction on their own satisfaction. That's very common and I think that's because men are biologically wired because they're competitive to get inside that beautiful velvety glove of. They know they need to do a great job. Get invited back. Because ultimately it is the woman's decision to have sex. She has to be a yes or it's not going to happen and because women and are hormonally. Cyclical they're always looking for. What's the right moment to do it? And because women are not naturally horny every single day like male bodied people are because male bodied people have to stop in and it makes them like Iran every morning where women are more like that over the the months uh-huh and they have their own anytime and they're not so horny times. What expanded orgasm does is it allows you to fill up with orgasms and and that there's this really important part of an expanded orgasm practice and that is that there's no presser pressure for or reciprocity when she when she doesn't when she's going to get done as in? Do Deliberate Orgasm when she's going to get done when she's GonNa have a due date she's she's going to ask for that more and more if she knows she can have it without having to also give give and when she's not expected to make sounds in their natural move unless it's natural what will happen is you'll start out out almost being embarrassed to ask for the orgasm dates and then when it's given to her selflessly and she can have as many as she wants it starts. She developed her orgasmic potential such that more and more she wants more kinds of sex either afterward or during the week Gore at different times her overall sexual appetite increases for all kinds of sexual experiences because it gives her confidence. She gets to be a better. You're calmer she's more engorged and turned on all the time because she's got this ever flowing tap of pleasure her available to her when he's just a yes let's lay down and give you some orgasms or she anyone that gets her feeling like okay. Okay I don't have to start turned on. He's he or she's GonNa take me into my turn. On three openings strokes the massage beforehand the connection action heart connection the selfless giving women. Don't get fat selfless giving they get you do me. I do you all go down on you so I can have intercourse with you. Had so taking all those things off the table actually overall increases the amount of sex that she wants and the the confidence that she has her own sexuality she starts to undulate like a snake she starts the moans start to come out of her she starts to go into these. She starts to come before you hit the bed to get to lie down and give her the strokes she starts to feel orgasm just pulsating through her body that just changes ages the entire Howitt of your sex life it just throws all the chess pieces of the last sex life you had off the table and there's a whole re we start. It's just beautiful now. It's also great about it is because men are driven to give women credible pleasure. They feel so good about themselves for seeing this woman. They're creating that affect in her. They're they're doing this to her. And it's absolutely magical. They're getting more response. It's from her. The name ever gotten from any woman before this technique is like a secret magic unlocking of her sexual pleasure to a level. They've never experienced before they have. It's been this one little moment here and there. She starts to be like that she starts to be this orgasmic goddess and then Kellyanne Dan a man have the same experience. Oh yes a man can have the same experience. It's more like it's a hand job basically but it's a hand job that you might almost say like edging and it's lovely early but I don't see it being an I do very very very well. I'm an extremely good doer. But there's a difference between seen the female orgasmic response in the mail. ORGASMIC response around this clitoral stroke this this clitoral stroke expanded orgasm. clitoral stoke does things or a woman that nothing does for any gender any other way. So it's it's rare and in unique and and again if she's expected to do you after you've done her she's not going to want to do it. It's like yes you can have it but don't start thinking about you me and I'll do you just put the money in the KARMIC Orgasm Bang. Who didn't put it in? PUT IT in filler up filler pillar up and then your sex life will just us loose in the last thing you want is just lie there and get a hand job because they're going to be so many incredible other amazing things that you're going to want aunt that aren't that I don't think that is what men generally what I think. Men generally want is to have ruthlessly self expressed sexual experiences of dynamic proportions where they're woman is Lee turned on. They do thirty seven sex positions she. She gets off going down on him. They do stuff in crazy places. They're just you know she's wearing lingerie. Whatever your fantasies are I think the lying mare and receiving of the manual stimulation is not quite as dynamic as the typical man is looking for in the relationship and so it's one nice thing is definitely not as good as when she's going down on you and getting off on it the new Jack from it and things like that? I mean you can really have some incredible experiences. So that's just my perspective. And that's just my box of experience everybody's different but I think the becoming a multi Gaz McMahon learning learning how to separate your Relation from your orgasm and connect your genitals your heart and to the cosmos is a more interesting path before the man to pursue pursue and for the female. The expanded Orgasm Path is the most interesting path to pursue across a great bell curve of couples else so for our listeners who may be hearing all this and they're like yes. This sounds amazing. I want to do it. But maybe they're intimidated with the intensity or what it may take to get to that point. How could you kind of ease them into starting this routine or setting up these dates with their partner to start this practice? Yeah so perfect question so it seems like a giant prospect to do this in some ways. Like wow I was like a little overwhelming and so how do I. How do I do this with my partner? One of the things that I will tell you that that the best way to keep monogamy hot is to learn new things together and this practice isn't the kind of thing readers lay down and automatically. She starts coming in. You see see God. It takes a bit of work and it's for those people who want to become erotic masters in the bedroom with each each other those people who are committed to having the most off the hook sex life. And what we've done so Dr Patty who taught my husband and I had to do this. US We asked her to create the step by step way of doing expanded orgasm and when you go to one taste they put on gloves. It's very transactional. It's a fifteen minute time anybody can do you can do anybody. We didn't want bat version or flavor of of expanded orgasm. We wanted something that was more tantric we actually took has Mary chauvinist. Contra techniques of heart connection of looking looking at each other's is much more of the energetic connection you know the DNA spiral spiral helix of the two strands coming up together. Bats what we wanted to create. Was this upward pleasure. Spiral for both arts of the of the union the male and female or the two females or whatever gender. We wanted it to be something that each part of the couple was getting so much pleasure out of it that it was just this joyous thing so what we did was as we. We have videos that teach exactly the strokes how to do each of the three opening strokes how to do the Reddin butter stroke. Do the closing stroke An entire retire expanded orgasm. Date overlaid with a voiceover from Dr Patty. So you can see what to do. And she's telling you what you're looking at as well as breaking down the process into twenty one play dates that you do one at a time so you just you start on the journey you can pick and choose you can popcorn style the twenty one dates but there and you could do one every day for three weeks or you do one every day for twenty one months one every month for twenty anyone months you do it at your own pace in each one of these little date experiences teaches you one of the facets of having an incredible edible expanded orgasm practice you can start with learning the strokes enduring them together and practicing then maybe you want to do the finding your spot not exercise because the spot that you stroke moves around. So how do you locate the perfect place. That's going to take her into orgasm today because as it was different than it was yesterday and the next practice might be learning how to share favorite frame so each one of the practices in is like a little module. Joel get a little book. Explains what you do and then you just try that thing and as you do each one of these different play dates you end up stitching it altogether and it all it all just weaves together into your expanded orgasm experience you start coming. You'll learn. Learn how to do it. And you learn how to communicate about it and you learn how to cross because it's a pretty big energy that your co creating will I love that description scripture because it sounds for me totally manageable now like I was like. Oh my gosh. It seems so overwhelming at first. But I'm like okay now there are steps and we can do it. Yeah not only that but it expands the rest of your sex life with every step that you learn. So a lot of the ways you're describing this has is a very spiritual connotation connection in the language and like we talked about earlier. Can you talk a little bit more. About how how you look at that in your own life and how someone that wanted to connect with their partner spiritually like what that even means engine how they can do that through. sacs in orgasm the spirituality piece of expanded orgasm is I think one of the most I satisfying. I love meditation but I have a difficult time doing sitting meditations so I've ended up the being very good at orgasmic meditation. I like the complete letting go of all of my thoughts about what's happening in my life and focusing on that pleasurable sensation of orgasm and I liked doing it with my partner when you meditate. You're in Fada brainwave state. What we're doing in this moment? Having a conversation is our Beta brainwave state are aware the fate of state is the state of unconscious dream meditation. It's a smoother line nine on the brainwave scan and when you start riding the wave of orgasm what you're doing is you're putting all All of your focus on that and the world is falling away and you're actually an conjoined Ada trance state with your partner. You two are riding getting that same orgasmic energy together and so. I'm actually meditating with my lover in orgasm. uh-huh that's the kind of meditation that I like and when you're in the learning how to receive completely with no pressure to perform when you're getting that selfless gift of pleasurable durable love from someone who doors you so much that they want to sit there for ten fifteen twenty minutes half an hour and just ride. That wave of orgasm with you there is something that cleaves you deeply together in a way that. Maybe maybe the moment when your child is born and you're holding them for the first time or at the death of apparent when you're really sinked up you're really in love and feeling that deep human connection that's that's meaning making that's the stuff that you live for in your life and too often we're in performance mode around our sexuality. Alex we think it should be like this or it's informed by pornography or it's not it's not welling up from within you your sexuality Wadi is inside you all you need is within you now around her sexuality and when you can have the level of comfort and relaxation like sation that having no pressure but just coming together and coming together provides you it creates a level of spiritual connection that I think only happens in rare moments of your life but it's a way that you can actually have that connection anytime you want to sit down together and and avenue expanded orgasm date. We love that description in. Yeah I think that ties it all nicely together of like obviously the expanded orgasm feels feels amazing and in that in itself has a lot of value. But then if you can bring that into your relationship and have connection with your partner in obviously this is combined with all the other things we talk about on the show. Good communication and respect and all these things but this is like this is like that. I don't WanNa say missing piece because everyone has different missing pieces and we're all always trying to work on things but I feel like as the culture and were not generally talking about sex and in other sex negativity but this can be a great entry way into taking your sex life to just this whole other level and connecting on this whole other level that you're talking about it's Sarah's non in her head. We're taking notes like we're excited. We asked them homework to do so. Susan thank you so much for sharing all this. Can you tell us in our listeners. which where they can find more information on this course and where they can find you online and then we'll say goodbye? Yeah so offer Sibal. I'm GonNa give you the program program so you have it. I'll also give you an. It's called expand her orgasm tonight and it's out expand her orgasm tonight dot com. And when you go there I have three free pleasure. Reports one is what is expanded orgasm. How has expanded orgasm? Different than the regular organisms in having the second is the power and pleasure of keeping your part of what you will be doing. Is something called intentional. Down Strokes which we also also called Peking that toggle her nervous system her para synthetic and sympathetic nervous system so that she can get those bigger and bigger and longer and longer orgasmic waves. You can't just drive or straight up. That's not how the body works. The body works. Take up take arrest take up to caress take up tick arrest so explain lanes how that works at because the male body testosterone individual he is going to be like full speed ahead and you have to break him of that habit. It's not how the body works. It's just it's not as fall. That's what he thinks he should be doing is doing that. And so the peaking piece of it is like vital information to the expanded orgasm process and then the third free pleasure report is called touching for rapture most people do what is called touching for effect. And even if you never do an expanded orgasm practice having the construct for understanding or the instant awareness of how to touch for rapture rather than four effect is an absolute game-changer in all of the rest of your sex life. Not just in an expanded orgasm practice so their status as well as the complete program with the twenty one play dates the videos a book. That explains it all. And I'll be giving you a copy of that and then you can also find me because that's just the orgasm techniques that we teach the you can also find any personal life media all the media for your personal life and you can find me on Instagram at Susan. Susan Bratton S. U. S. A. N. B. R. A.. T. T. O. N. Brat ways ton though I don't and Another great place to find more information one of my most popular videos on Youtube. If you've got a better lover DOT COM it takes you right right to my youtube channel and on that channel is a really popular video That was an interview with my husband. Deny about her expanded orgasm practice and so you can see my husband's perspective. Tim's Tim you can see his perspective of what it's like for him to be the giver and not it just for me as the receiver and I think that's a really intr- There's so many comments on that video and people just really like that. So that's another perspective on the the experience wonderful. Well thank you so much for sharing all those links will have all of them on the podcast description and on our website on your show notes page so thank you again for joining us We really appreciate you taking the time to come on the show today. Thank you so much for having me guys. We hope you enjoyed today's episode episode as always all the links are in the show notes page as well as on the podcast description and while you're on our website we encourage you you guys to check out our fourteen day. Happy couple challenge. We send you an email for fourteen days with simple doable challenges to help strengthen and improve your relationship and on our website we also have a bunch of free resources for your relationship so we encourage you to check those out We also have our love love tribe on facebook We encourage you guys to join the try and be there for support for each other. If you have questions sounds or just need some relationship advice we are all here for each other The group has grown to almost thousand people and we love it so we hope because during that you can go to facebook love tribe fam- and you'll find us right there and if you are interested in learning more about our flagship flagship course spark my relationship. We hope you guys check it out. We have a special offer that is only for podcast listeners. So you can go to spark my relationship dot com slash unlock and you can unlock that special offer and learn more as always thank you guys so much and we'll see you next week

partner Orgasm Bay Susan Sarah Dr. Patty United States Susan Bratton Mary Lights rape Chris California Depression Dr Patty Taylor facebook clitorises life media testosterone Susan Bratton S. U. S. A. N. B
317 - From Grief to GraceProcessing Our Collective Grief

The Savvy Psychologist's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Mental Health

14:43 min | 2 months ago

317 - From Grief to GraceProcessing Our Collective Grief

"In this year of collective grief we mourn the people the stability and the life experiences we have lost. How do we cope with his grief. And how do we help each other through it. Welcome back the savvy psychologist. I'm your host. Dr jade woo every week. I'll help you meet life's challenges with evidence based research a sympathetic ear and zero judgment. Today i talked to dr patty ashley. Psychotherapist and bestselling author about going through grief to the grease on the other side as we get closer to the end of an unprecedented year. I'm reflecting back on experiences. Losses lessons emotions and one. That really stands out to me is grief. We recently cover grief on the show already. But i think it's worth revisiting because this is just such a deep and complex topic. It's really difficult to break it down into quick and dirty tips. But luckily i got the chance to have an in depth conversation with someone who is an expert on grief both professional and personal experiences. And who will be able to help us understand how grief works. And how their is ashley love and beauty in it. It's my pleasure to welcome dr patty ashley a bestselling author international speaker and psychotherapists with over thirty five years of experience. She works with individuals and families to breakthrough in green barriers to personal freedom and authentic growth and to excavate the truth of self love belonging and connection. She is the author of letters to freedom. Publish in two thousand and nineteen and shame informed. Therapy the art and architecture of reconstructing the authentic self coming out in twenty twenty. Welcome to the savvy. Psychologist dr ashley. Thank you so much for joining us today. How thanks for having me jade. It's great to be here in your work. You refer to moving from grief to grace. What does this mean. And if you don't mind could you share A part of your experience moving from grief to grace that you've had my fiance died of sudden heart attack. Four years ago and he had lost his wife a few years prior to him and i being relationship and he was working on a curriculum. He called from fear to love to grace. And so i'm continuing the legacy of that in my work and looking at. What does that actually mean grace. And what he he was saying. And i agree is that you know when you love somebody so deeply and you lose them then. It cracks like a sufi prayer. This is break my heart open to a higher love so kind of cracks us open and there's a state of grace which is the state of knowing that it's bigger than myself and yet i have to accept what is i became a is because i lost my father to send heartache when i was eleven and then my partner lawrence freedom died the same way. My father died of a sudden heart attack on the living room floor. So that's why my memoir letters to freedom because it was so profound for me to think that my whole life. I've been studying grief in helping people get through grief and how it's different as an adult from a child and then having this experience as an adult. I really wanted to allow myself to really experience what i was feeling so i developed to my work through the years to give people place to talk about grief and then i had the experience of losing my partners and adult so often we hear about stages of grief are there stages to grief and what are they an. How do people move through them. There are stages but they're not linear if that makes any sense elizabeth cool ross defined five stages that she saw on her work with people who are grieving in it. They include bargaining denial anger depression and acceptance in so we humans like are linear abc's and one two threes. So i always want people to know that it's not necessarily that simple 'cause you can move in and out of those stages of grief for however long it takes and it takes however long it takes everybody's different before i go on. Today's show is supported by ritual multivitamins not all multivitamins are created equal. Some contain ingredients like gmo's synthetic fillers artificial colorants and even gelatin but rituals clean. Vitamins are made with key nutrients and no shady extras. Their fresh tasting delayed release. Capsules are designed to dissolve later in less sensitive areas of the stomach. So you can take them with or without food. They offer men's women's teens and even prenatal vitamins all developed to support specific life stages. And you'll always know where your nutrients come from thanks rituals one of a kind visible supply chain. I just started taking ritual and they make it really easy to stay on top of your vitamins and the monthly deliveries are really convenient as well. I love the minty. Fresh smell when i open new bottle. It's just really nice. You deserve to know. What's in your multivitamin. That's why ritual is offering my listeners. Ten percent off during your first three months visit ritual dot com slash savvy to start your ritual today. That's ritual dot com slash s. a. v. y. So one of these stages that you mentioned is anger. Is it okay to feel angry during grief. People think that it's okay to be angry people for dying but it's a it's an important emotion because anger actually energizes us and helps us move through things so all feelings. Okay but i'll behavior isn't anger itself that doesn't mean you have to take it out on yourself or other people and hurt yourself or anyone. It simply means you acknowledged that you're angry. Maybe writing about it writing letter screaming in the shower. Lots of ways to express anger. That safe and doesn't hurt anyone. That is such an important distinction in so instead of shutting down our emotions like anger or other types of emotions. Can we do instead. It doesn't last forever and it actually is better to feel everything you're feeling when you're in it and have supportive people and lots of chicken soup and warm blankets and cozy songs and things that you enjoy doing Jigsaw puzzles was something i found. It was really helpful. You don't wanna try and get out of it. You want to hold yourself through it and that's going to help you get to the other side so when you talk about getting to the other side. Does that mean getting over a loss. Do people ever get over loss so you get to the other side. I don't think we ever really Get over a loss especially if it's a significant other or something you know or tragic loss. There's there's always something in our heart but it's not as having doesn't way down and we are able to hold it. I call it grace. We move into a state of grace knowing that that's part of life is loss and even though we'll always miss our loved ones it doesn't have as much of the deep emotional pain when we get to the acceptance part now if we have a loved one going through their own grief worst should we say. And what shouldn't we say or do to support them. Don't make suggestions of what they can do to feel better. Listen have a lot of empathy and just reflect back what they're saying. And you know the one thing that i learned that i really wanted and needed was. I wanted to tell the story. I wanted to talk about lawrence and people get really uncomfortable about that. You know if it's a festival. Say well i don't wanna make i don't wanna make you uncomfortable or i don't wanna remind you will think about it. I've already uncomfortable. And i'm not gonna forget so. I need to do that because one for several reasons. I think that's the most important thing. And i think is the hardest thing to is to listen to the stories because grief. You have to at least one hundred times and so to have an enlightened witness to hear. Our stories is the most important thing. But that to feels counterintuitive for people. So if i'm with you in your grief and you're telling me stories. I'm gonna feel as if it's my own grief and i'm not gonna feel comfortable so i'm gonna go to my bag of tricks and say well what maybe you could try rescue remedy or maybe you could do this. Only go for a walk so we have to also be able to tolerate our own our own discomfort when we are listening at such a gift. I had very few people who could do that. And i'm probably not that good doing it either because our instinct is. I'm to try and fix it for this person because it feels so bad. That is so fascinating and that really resonates with me. I think you've hit a really important court here. And also you alluded to your experience with grief as a child. How do we help with grief. How do we explain death and loss to them. The most important thing was kids is to avoid euphemisms you know a lot of times. We try and do that and say oh you like with my father. He's in heaven between the ages of zero seven. We know that kids don't think like adults. And so that's why they believe in the easter bunny and santa claus the tooth fairy in on that. It's really a magical time and they're also in They don't understand the permanence of death right. So it's a whole different world seven and under especially so if you say god in heaven. They're most likely going to have a similar experience that i did was. Why can't i go there. And miller reason honestly. I had a roommate in college. Who had a similar experience and she tried to suicide on several occasions. And the reason. I didn't was because i was raised catholic. I was told. I'd go to hell. So i knew i wouldn't see my dad if i killed myself but that was the longing was i wanted to be with my dad. And if he's in heaven. Why can't i be there. Don't be afraid to cry with them. You know be with them. And it's all about relationship right. It's all about relationship. We all are wired for that connection. And that's what kids need. They also need to know that they're safe. You're keeping them safe and particularly if it's one parent you wanna know that the other parents not going anywhere and of course. There's no guarantees in life but for the most part you know who want to assure them that they're safe in their lobbed in they're cared for that is really powerful. Thank you for sharing that and to zoom out a little bit more right now. There is a sense of collective grief in the world. What are your thoughts on this experience. That were maybe all going through right now. We are definitely in the saw that came to mind. This week was the end of the world as we know it. You know. I think it's an rem song. It's the end of the world as we know it because everything that we're familiar with is changed in some way and it's a collective experience. Everyone's going through it. It's not just like the united states. The world is experiencing the coronavirus which then has led us to losing jobs. Losing time with our friends losing social outlets that were familiar. We enjoy our jim. Outdoor concerts is my favorite thing in the summer here in colorado. And you know lots of things that we're familiar with are gone. We don't we don't know how long and that's the uncertainty too. You know it's it's it's being with what is for now knowing that we are grieving and then the unfortunate amount of people have actually died from the virus and then the people in the really breaks my heart when i think about If people who've died alone in hospitals yes everything you've mentioned is absolutely part of this collective experience and it's so difficult for people and you know out of this. Is there any chance that any grace can come out of this collective grief. I hope if nothing else comes out of this is there's going to be more compassion and empathy. And that's the other thing i've noticed about grief. Is you know if we lose someone. We really love it. We asked the bigger questions. Like why am i here. Why did i get to stay. You know what's my purpose in life also studies of resiliency of shown people who are able to give back or the most resilient and so. I'm hoping that everything that's going on now will lead to more compassion and empathy. Because that's really what we need right now in the world. We don't need more angry mad people trying to compete and win. Be bigger and better. We need compassion and empathy. That is definitely some optimism dot. I needed to hear. Thank you so much for that and for all of your wisdom. I really appreciate you being with us today. Thank you crying. thanks so much for having me. It was a pleasure. Thank you so much for listening. Today's topic was a tough one. But i hope that this can be helpful for you as you. Sit with your own grief. Allow yourself to feel those emotions. Allow yourself to tell the stories of your grief and hopefully we can altogether meet grace on the other side. Let's continue the conversation on social media. I'm especially interested to hear what you would like to hear in the new year. From savvy psychologist as i start to plan episodes for twenty twenty. One you can find me on facebook and twitter. I'm at cutie. savvy psych and also at jade woo phd. You can keep in touch with us. Through the savvy psychologist newsletter and get psychology tips directly delivered to your inbox. Psychologist is audio. Engineered by steve. Rick berg and edited by karen hertzberg as always savvy psychologist is strictly for informational purposes and does not substitute for mental health. Care from a licensed professional. Thank you again for joining me. And i'll see you next week for a happier healthier mind.

dr patty ashley Dr jade woo ashley love thirty five years dr ashley lawrence freedom elizabeth cool ross heart attack Ten percent Four years abc depression three months lawrence miller colorado united states jade woo Rick berg karen hertzberg
Kaley Cuoco

Anna Faris Is Unqualified

1:11:11 hr | Last month

Kaley Cuoco

"Hey dear listeners. Today's guest is the incredibly talented. And funny kaley cuoco. You probably know. Kelly from a little show called the big bang theory but you'd recognizer from a million other things. That might not be an exaggeration. She's been acting since she was seven her new show on hbo max. The flight attendant is my new addiction. Kaley and i have known each other for years and it's always a delight to catch up after talking with kayleigh i'm joined again by world. Renowned clinical sexologist author and sex coach. Dr patty britain who as it turns out knows lot about porn masturbation and threesomes as always thank you so much for your kind reviews and sharing our show with your friends. Please keep sending us your questions telling us your stories. Just go to unqualified dot com and look for the link. Okay now here's kayleigh Ladies and gentlemen. You're listening to unqualified own affairs. It's been so long. Oh oh my god. How are you good. It's so good to see your face. Thanks so much for doing this. Oh yeah here so sweet and you're in like an empty cavernous place. I'm in my house. Oh you have your tree up i do. I'm a cavernous very holly jolly corner on the other side keighley. It was your birthday a few days ago. Happy birthday thank you thank you think and my birthday was on the twenty ninth like you know. Oh my god we always say because that's my sister's birthday okay. First of all. How do you guys feel collectively about the date of your birthday. We'll obviously when we were little just the two of us. We didn't love that. Our birthdays were close. But now we celebrate together every single year and then for me is minds. On the thirtieth. I have this tradition. I've probably done it for the past ten years. We always go get a christmas tree on my birthday. That's like my start off for the holiday is my birthday isn't fine. That's a great tradition. I resented my birthday. Although i think it served me well now because i have very low expectations i always resented it as a kid because it felt like such a dead space it was after thanksgiving. Everybody's dire d- yes. I grew up in washington state. It's inevitably gloomy all of november. So i became kind of numb to any birthday excitement. Because it just wasn't happening in my space plasma makes sense so therefore like i was already bracing for disappointment with my birthday. I never thought about that now. My birthday i never thought about the post makes giving slum actually does make sense so. My husband's birthday is christmas day. And so maybe. Because i feel so bad for him that i don't feel bad for myself but the best part about him is. He doesn't even like he doesn't look at it that way he's like thinks it's so great doesn't complain so i think he's worse off but he so much kinder than i would ever be. Well i think that you must get adjusted to not having your birthday. Be sort of extravaganza special day. For only you totally like i brace myself. I mean i don't anymore and forty four but the new year's eve bracing for disappointment guests. Not you know. It's just not going to be that spectacular. Never and you're going to be looking for your friends now you know. I don't know if there's somebody to kiss whatever the whole new year's eve debacle. It's almost better that we can't really do that much this year. Because it's never exactly what you want it to be anyways totally kaley. I love your show so much. Thank you can. I confess something yes. I didn't watch it. Because i knew i would be jealous. What i mean. I love the honesty bell. Yeah yeah but you're so good. Hanks you're funny your tragic you have a lot of raw moments. Yeah maybe you've covered this territory a lot as you do press but because we both have worked in multi cam then going to single camera. I haven't shot anything single camera for a while now. Probably since overboard in. I remember that being a little bit of like oh yeah. This is what this format is lake longer hours more time in the trailer. Yes it's quite different. How has it been. What elements do you miss from multi cam. I know it's a broad question now. I know that i know that question. And you and i can relate very very well i mean no one knows sitcom better than than you and i which i love again. We love that schedule right. We love that. Life's indoor cat day. Just never have to go anywhere. New people laugh your dumb jokes. Like they up yeah. I made a joke about that. The first few days of shooting flight attendant. Because like you just said. I was so new to single camera. Done a little bit but wow it's been a long time and i remember the first. We were shooting one of the kind of funnier scenes. And i was like god. I really missed people just laughing and clapping at every single thing. I said this everyone so silent so serious. I was laughing as it just felt so different but yeah that was definitely a new experience especially the first week or two even just with the cameras in like i remember at one point. They're like okay. Your pickup tomorrow's gonna be three fifty. And i was like. Why would we starting at three fifty in the afternoon. All right. no clue that they met three fifty in the morning. I was like i'm sorry. What did you just say like. It took me weeks actually to be honest. And you can probably relate to this. I don't think that you ever get used that you can prepare. You can be healthy. You can quit drinking. you can go to bed early. Your body is not supposed to be up and awake and working at three fifty m then performing at five. Am and like really performing like that. You just don't get used to you just kind of her on your second. Nature's kind of kicking in. And but then i think of like the crew and like they're all there before we get there and they're there when we leave. It's amazing to me how much they work. We think we work a lot. But they're just like my god doing so much more. I remember back to sort of an earlier idea that you were talking about with the crew being audience a bit. I remember when i was doing the first scary movie and it was my first like big anything and i was convinced was going to get fired when i got the part. My college roommate was like put on a. You're not funny. And i fucking no i know. Oh my god and i remember one day. Maybe four days in i tentatively asked. My hairdresser was like so. What did you think about that last take and she said oh my god. It was great. You didn't touch your hair once. They're looking at that right. And so that was a moment of realization of like ono. The crew is not an audience. Right and i can't expect them to be paying attention to my performance in giving me any kind of response. He said something interesting. I can't believe a roommate told you you're not funny. I'm so shocked but they said that you because you're so funny i think is so fucking unintentional. Well that's all a wonderful too. I mean that's what also makes you so durable and so likable is. You probably don't think you're funny but that's so interesting because you are so natural. That's your gift. That's your soul. My awkwardness a yes. Me too. I get that a little bit because i also don't think i'm funny at all. I say funny things that people write from me. But i don't think that i'm like naturally funny but again i'm awkward and goofy tune. I don't take myself seriously. But i feel like that's kind of you as well. I feel like we're very similarly. That i'm much more comfortable making fun of myself. Yes yes yes. That's a big one. I get very uncomfortable. I was thinking about this the other day with sarcasm or making fun of other people or comedy tinged in bitterness. It's not my shoe. It's not my fit fame. I do wonder if it's a slightly trickier form of comedy. Because it has to be very character based and it has to be finessed with a characters own flaws and. I think that your character in the fight attendant manages all of that gail with so much complexity thank you. What are your feelings your personal feelings towards your character so this started from three years ago. I'm sure you've heard all this. But i found this book three years ago. And if i could tell you the amount of conversations revolving around the tone of this which is exactly what you're talking about so it's like yes. It's a drama. Yes it's a thriller. Yes a terrible thing happens. But we're also being lighthearted and we're laughing and kaley playing it. I can't help but bring back kind of quirky funds side but it was really tough because the tone was really really hard to capture. And i remember because it's my first time producing to and being behind the scenes and really trying to figure out the tone of a project which was just. I decided to pick the hardest tone of all time for my first producing venture. But i remember it. It made me every single taken every seen that we did. I must have done at ten different ways. Because we didn't know was this gonna be. The comedy moment was going to be the serious moment. So i just remember thinking we gotta give so many options. Because i don't know how we're going to edit this. It's not clear yet and it wasn't clear till really we got in that. Editing room and started piecing things together was not clear at all but it ended up working. It was a very fine line but again it was really written in my voice. And i can't do anything too. Serious without bringing the levity which crazy enough during this wild time that we're in in twenty twenty and with all the election stuff and with cove. Ed it ended up being what people kind of needed it. Just kind of was just weirdly lighthearted fun with some serious stuff but fine and people have really accepted it. They're like we like this completely. I loved the nod to was it like the sixties or seventies. Kind of old school caper. Movies no you definitely caught. That there is a little bit of sixties mod. Kind of a little hitchcock. Catch me if you can sort of feel which. I actually feel started in our credits. The credits are so great to. Oh my god thank you. We worked on those. I can't even tell you. The team worked on that for so long. It was really important because for me personally. A girl who's been on tv my whole life. I love tv. I watch every show credits. Remember songs to shows. More than sometimes i remember the show and i said guys. These credits are important. They set the tone in a weird way. And yet that kind of tells you the tone right there. But you're so. Right about the tone of the show and how to straddle those lines in any project especially when you're dealing with comedy anything comedic. Light hearted can throw off an audience as emotional investment in the seriousness of whatever. The story is and you guys pull it off so fucking well in. Its you here because in the pilot near first episode. When you have discovered the body your acting. I mean it was thinking thinking like fuck. You must have been raw those days. Did you feel raw. I mean there's a lot of coverage there's a lot there's a lot like on your last thread. Yeah when i started reading the early scripts in. We were starting to kind of form. This i don't know about you. I'm not a big preparer. Especially in sitcom not that it comes easy to me. I'm a little off the cuff. People laugh at me. I've never a scripted. My hand. I kind of circled the airport when it comes to dialogue. I'm just kind of there in the moment. And so when. I started to read these scripts. Susanna fogel directed our first episodes and i met with her. Obviously a ton and at one point i learned. I started panicking. I was like okay. Should i be looking at this differently. Like this is so dramatic and she's so torn apart and then also we're dealing with her alcoholism and like that's not funny but also you know that's a big deal to i said. Do i need to change my process. Do i need to get an acting coach. Do i need to be like thinking of a backstory. I started to spiral and she said why. Would you change any thing any of your process that got you to this point in your career and that was so freeing for me and in that moment i was like this is how i'm going to do it. You're right people. Might think i'm crazy. Or they might look at me on set and be like she ready for this like. I'm doing it the way that i need to do. It and i just kinda role in and i was very in the moment especially in those scenes and then the next minute i would be hysterical on the floor. Doing these scenes in the crucial quiet quiet set got this really serious scene and then i would immediately snap out of it and be laughing and walk off the set and forget anything that i did. It was really just left there. I don't bring anything home. I'm not that kind of actor quotes. That's just not how i work. I'm with you. I've never used an acting coach. I studied acting in college. And then i thought like i'm not good enough for this. I know crazy crazy. But i think for me though i feel like i'm easily influenced or at least i feel like i don't know best back at any given moment of the day. Okay so i know that. If i worked with an acting coach i would be questioning all of my instincts. And then i would go until i go. A whole i think disruptive mind process yes or i'm lazy No i agree with you. Look there's some wonderful coaches out there. I have friends who love acting class and they go. I think some coaches like to put their spin on things so bad. I worried that they were going to be too much of an influence on. What makes me me not every coach. I know there are wonderful coaches out there that have helped very big actors to this day. But i didn't think that that was something i wanted to do. I needed to be my weird spin without any other opinion in there which is also very narcissistic. I'm like i don't need help. I need to do it my way. Like elliott fucking works. Thank you and you approach the scenes with that kind of confidence vulnerability thank you. Can i ask you a series of life questions kaley. Yes go for it. What was your first boss. Lack my first boss. So i never had a actual job outside of being an actor so i guess my first boss would have been my first show and my first show runner back in the day. I did a show. When i was thirteen fourteen. It was called ladies man and it was with betty. White played my grandmother and sharon lawrence play my mom. It was crazy cast. The show didn't do very well. Alfred molina was my dad. And i guess my boss was my first show runner on that show but i never had a job. Outside of the business not weird. I don't know i've had jobs. Like i was a waitress at a retirement home for a my god real li. Oh my god. Twenty-five our stone no tips now start. Oh my god yeah baby. Wow you grew up in southern california right in camera us. Yes i've been out here my whole life. So would your mom or dad like how did auditioning work. Did you drive into town. Yes and we actually lived. When i was really young even farther we lived like deepen ventura county and i remember after school. There is always not dish or something and my mom would pick me up. And i would do my homework in the car and we go to these auditions and i remember. There were certain restaurants. We always ate. It was like a whole day and night. I mean you know how long it takes to get in delhi from the far. Yeah they drove me. I mean everywhere day. After day. After day and i love dinner get to get picked up from school and they drive me to my auditions and i have a very clear memory of that when i was very very very young. What do you think as a teenager. What was your relationship with rejection. At that time. You know it's interesting. I didn't just audition. i wasn't just acting. i had all these things i love doing. You know. I played sports. And i went to these art classes and i went to camps and i had all these great friends and so specially. I've played tennis. I played nationally all over the country. When i was younger. That's amazing yeah. But i think the best part about that aside from the actual tennis was the travel and my friends and so my point in saying that is if i maybe didn't get a job or because we all know there's way more rejection than acceptance in this business. I had all these other things. I was never like all eggs in one basket which was very important to my parents. I had multiple things. And then as i got fourteen fifteen sixteen. I got my first horse than i started writing. So i had all these things that i loved and i never felt to down in the dumps about anything like i can really move on probably. Sometimes it's too fast. And i don't really sit in it but i i'll tell my friends like or cut that out or that's not a healthy relationship like i just i think i can too but it takes a while for the seedling of that idea to make its way into my frontal lobe to actually make the decision and then when you do you cut. Yeah like relationships for way too long and then it feels like. There's that one morning. When i wake up and it's like oh this should be over done and then it is. Yes yes but i do feel like in hindsight those decisions they lingered too long in my subconscious scenario. No but being able to cut is hard in general. And i think i'm actually too good at it i think. Sometimes it hinders me in other ways and is great for me in some ways. So my problem is. I don't know the word balance it's like. That's what i've been struggling with. My whole life is the gray area. It's all black and white with me which is good for things and it's also hard in other ways so that's a lifelong challenge that i really need to kind of like meet head on. I remember when i did a lot of like theatre in seattle growing up and then i started auditioning for regional commercials. There wasn't much like film work in any way in seattle. So i would audition you know when i was fifteen for like a yogurt commercial or something like that. Yeah but i always felt when i was rejected. It's not that. I really wanted to be in a yogurt commercial sabah. I was a really awkward looking kid. So i felt like surrounded by really attractive young girls that are auditioning to because they're actresses You'll yeah so. I always felt like i did not get that role because i was simply not attractive enough. We're not cute enough. Oh my gosh in which was true. I personally really. I can't tell you. I had headgear kaley. I had to but we're wearing them to audition. Okay i had had your to. Oh my god that's hilarious. Oh god it's like. I knew my parents were trying to keep me a virgin for that year. We'll do it. Oh my god. But i think that that was difficult growing up but i guess when i eventually did get rolls. It made me think that. I got them for being good. I was talking about this with another actor the other day. I don't love auditioning necessarily. But i during love winning a job through an audition. Yeah it feels good doesn't it. It really feels good. The validation of okay. My work that i'm presenting is good enough as opposed to on the day with the job that's been offered. My anxiety is different. Because it's like okay. Are we seeing the same thing for this character. you know. i feel the same way about that. After i shot flight attendant. I went to canada to shoot a kevin heartfelt man from toronto. My point in this story. Is i put my ass on tape for that when i was shooting flight attendant in the women's restroom with my ipad and my sister on boxes put the ipad up and self taped with my sister reading for me because i wanted that role. So bad kaley yeah. I was literally in between scenes on flight attendant. I like totally matt story. Because i think they just assume you get to a certain point it is not like that it is not like certain things maybe but they're not just handing out these roles anymore like it's not that way man you got to work for it and there's a lot of good actors not just you. You know it's tough out there. I don't care who you are. I think i remember during a press. Junket for like one of the scary movies being asked for the first time. And maybe i've only been asked a few times the question. What drew you to this project. And it's like a. I wasn't like i wouldn rumi the phone call that they should me. That drew me to the As i hear that a lot too. Yeah and you're right. I think right around. When i did how funny that was when i really realized. Oh fuck if. I want to continue acting. I have to be involved. I have to start hustling in a different way than just running around auditioning it's true it doesn't matter who you are it's really wild like i think people thought coming off big bang which was such a big deal that now your life is set like to me. It was the opposite. I felt like the work actually starts. Now i've been in the business for thirty years thirty. And i feel like my career is just starting. I don't feel like it smooth sailing. And i don't feel this is get whatever i want like. I don't look at things like that at all and finishing. I feel like i'm working harder than i ever have. And getting the benefits from that but i know it's not just from being complacent you can't be like that completely okay. What is your favorite rainy day movie. Oh my goodness actually rained here recently and we watched sleepless in seattle and it made me so happy. I love that movie. And i love meg ryan and tom hanks together. I will watch them together. Forever love them together. I went on this meg. Ryan fanatic ri- watched all her movies over a week. I think it was just to look at the hair and the clothes. But i was really really into that for a second. I haven't seen that movie in years. But i do love it so cute. Oh my god. It's so cute. This episode of unqualified is made remarkable by maker's mark in his book. Whiskey women the untold story of how women saved bourbon scotch and irish whiskey award winning author fred mimic calls margie mattingly arguably the most underrated bourbon figure of all time. Of course i'd like to change the underrated and untold parts. Everyone should know that margie. Samuels was an all around bad ass together with her husband bill. Margie helped create a new type of bourbon. You know it today. As maker's mark. Margie was pretty much responsible for everything that distinguishes the makers brands. The name the label she even had the idea to hand. Dip every bottle in the iconic. Red wax something maker's mark continues to do to this day while the taste of maker's mark has always stood out from the crowd. It said that margie. Samuels is why you pick up your first bottle in two thousand fourteen. Margie was inducted into the kentucky bourbon hall of fame as the co founder of maker's mark and a symbol of the industry's focus on women as leaders consumers and pioneers. So ladies remember to pour yourself into everything you do and to reach for a bourbon. That's made with a personal touch the next time you pour a glass maker's mark raise a glass to all of the remarkable women in your life and remember maker's mark crafts their bourbon carefully. And they asked that you enjoy it that way. This episode of qualified is brought to you in part by peacock on wednesday. November twenty fifth side gets a reality check. when emmy award. Winning thirty rock writer tracy whitfield brings us a contemporary irreverend optimistic reimagining of saved by the bell and even more exciting elizabeth berkley. Lauren and mario lopez are back. John michael higgins also stars as principal todman alongside the new class featuring belmont kamali. Dexter darden mitchell hogue alicia pascal pina juicy toda and has scary alaska's. I'm so sorry everyone. I hope i pronounced jimmy correctly in the new series. When california governor. Zack morris gets into hot water for closing too many underfunded high schools. He proposes they send the affected students to the most well funded schools in the state including bayside high. The new students give the privileged bayside kids a much needed dose of reality. What problem can't be solved and twenty two minutes saved by the bell is available now on peacock. the streaming service from nbc universal sign up at peacock tv dot com to stream. Now okay so whenever you throwing caution to the wind. I don't know if i could answer this very well. I would say every time. I get on my horse or go to a horse show which to me is really truly throwing caution the land and just you in that animal. When i'm working as an actor. I don't get nervous. It feels like that's what my soul is supposed to be doing. But when i ride and go into the show ring. And i'm literally ready to throw up and my heart is pounding. You could see it pounding through my shirt. There's something about it that is so terrifying and freedom and powerful lake. It doesn't come easy to me the way. Maybe my work is a little bit different and riding learning that and learning. The horse is such a challenge for think. That's me would be throwing caution to the wind. Does the horse feel your anxiety. How does that work. Yes yes yes yes. The thing is writing also calms me down but there is a major that energy. You're connected your legs are wrapped around this horse. And if you've got a high energy that is going to seep down on them. That's what i love about watching my husband reid. He's so even keeled ninety nine percent of the time in life you see all his are exactly the same like they are so calm and huge and strong but there is such a sense of calmness that he brings to them and i guess they bring to him. So it's really a special bond. I just read this quote by tina brown. It was in reference to camilla. Parker bowles cab and she wrote a while back. Women who love horses usually love sex because we ride. I guess so. But i was wondering if you agree. I love horses. Do love sex. I don't. I don't know how to ride very well. Maybe i'm not the best lever but the love is there. I guess they go. Maybe a little hand in hand. I mean i definitely like both in your with just one person our that worse. It's such an emotional sensitive time. And i don't know it's very special. I'm talking my writing. Sex is great too but writing with that connection with that horse man. Carl would say the same. By the way he would totally say the same because he's an equestrian. Yes i read that. He's beautiful writer. Are you comfortable talking about how you guys man sure. We met at a horse show. He's a very very good writer. He's very well known in that sport and does very well and i followed his writing career for a while and i saw him right so my god that was amazing. He was very shy. We got introduced by somebody else and then that was it and he was very awkward almost to the point of like thought something was wrong with him like he wouldn't really look at me. And i i said maybe he's just shinano and then like a couple hours later he showed up so it's really interesting going to these shows which makes it so fine. It's a traveling circus. So all your barnes are like in a big area together. It's really finding the point of it. You ride all day and then you have a beer around the fireplace or the campfire. And you're kind of around all the other barnes so there's hundreds of different barnes and so his was near mine and in that evening we were all cleaning up getting ready to be dumped the day he came over to ask to say hi to me again and it was very cute and he said can i take you to dinner and i was like shock as he was so shy when i met him and i was five years ago. Kailua we kept going to. Dinner is a cute. it was really cute. Yeah he's such a different person. Now i guess we both argus in a relationship you would hope that you grow. But he's so not that shy person anymore. He's really opened up. It's really sweet in our world. We're surrounded by a lot of volume. Oh yeah men wanting to like take over and be in it and that is so not his energy so all right back to questions on what occasion do you li- i'm really not aligarh. I the worst actor in real life like with gifts and stuff. I can't keep it a secret. I am the worst. But i do i to make people feel good like hurting people's feelings or embarrassing them. So if i feel like something will. I will definitely tweak it to not do that i am so with you. I get very uncomfortable playing poker tricking people. I don't love surprises. And i don't love to be the deliver up. Surprises it's weird. I'm the same way Years ago i was at a meeting with sasha baron cohen's producer and then later on i ended up doing a movie with them but they wanted me to be a part of a show that they were developing where i would have to interact with strangers as a character. You know like how he does. Yes and my heart was just gripped with fear. That is just not a part of my skill set. I can't do it. it would be hard to do. I know we probably come clean immediately. Right i would cry. I would be like. I am so sorry there was talks awhile ago me. Do you know that show where celebrities is called lake. I know who you are. Or i think i know you or something where the celebrity kind of goes undercover or does something we talks for me to do it nice guys. I don't think i could do it. I would laugh. I would feel awkward by the way it's made me. I don't think i could do it. I would feel like our voices everything would be a betrayal and kaley. I'm so with you. What is a trait. You dislike and others. I think taking yourself too seriously. I think we get a lot of that in this business. Maybe i'm too far the other way but i like self deprecation. I like making people laugh and not taking yourself too seriously. I think we do get caught up in that in the business that we're in it's sometimes hard to of let yourself just be a little bit normal and be a little bit silly and maybe not perfect on the instagram. And not you know like it's okay. Yeah and i think it's hard hard we're in the public. I think a lot of people get caught up in that. But you don't always have to be so perfect. It feels necessary to be selling ourselves to some degree or like when i moved to la. I was really struck by interacting with people that i now kind of call self-described out you don't like just casual conversations. People mentioned that. They're a really creative type or a very spiritual person right really. What yeah like self definition felt new to me and then kind of realizing this is sort of how this town works. There is pressure to sell oneself. Do you ever get as what your brand. Oh god like. I have a written answer to that now because people do like to ask. But i'm like that's a strange one right. Yeah what's your brand. What are you trying to say. I don't fucking know like it's right in front of you. There's no hidden agenda if you know me or you've watched me you probably know that's probably my brand kaley. What is a trait. You dislike in yourself. I think going back to what we said earlier. My extremists ways of living. Like your extreme decisiveness. Do you think no. I like that. I think that's a good quality. I think my inability for finding the gray area balance is a tough one for me. I hate that. I wish i wasn't so black white hot and cold. It's always wondered the other. And by the way i'm like that went like eating or when i finish a job and i'm like okay. Screw it now. I'm going to eat what i want and i feel like i go a little crazy. But it's all aspects. it's all or nothing. I need to be shooting fifty things. Or i'm taking a break. I want to talk to you buddy for a month like i wish i could find a little bit of more in the middle which i said earlier. I'm definitely working on. I think shooting a single camera project. It's very difficult because you are living in extreme lifestyle working thirteen fourteen hours a day and then suddenly the sudden emptiness of space key nailed it on the head that is like ding ding dang and also at being really is revolving around you and i realized even for months i look at my phone and be like i haven't checked in with any of my friends like your brain is so stuck in what you're doing and it's not a selfish thing i have to be in this. You know but it's like remembering what's going on outside and you get a little caught up and then you get home and you're like what do i do now. It's very weird. I feel one of the qualities. I dislike in myself is how neglectful i am of my and i've talked a lot about this and then kind of bleeds over into having a kid and it's not that it's laziness maybe it's a little bit of a lack of energy or not feeling like i can give energy to a relationship especially when i've neglected yet. You probably feel like you need to give more and you would like to do the check in. But you're like. I can't give all of it right now so i'll do none of it right one hundred i understand. Yeah i understand that. And that's very honest of you. That's very real. I feel that to what was your first love like a man. I still know very well. I fell in love and i was fourteen was with him till i was seventeen to ask parents to date him. His name was lester cook. And i married a carl cook. Which is so weird and my last name means cook so i feel like it was a really weird full circle of cooks in my life i was so in love with him and he would probably say the same thing i know him. Well now actually. I know his wife his family. He's wonderful but i thought when that ended which had ended because he was going to college a couple years older than me and i remember he broke up with me and you know that young up like it was over. Life was done. There was no add ever survive. I know that yup yeah. My high school boyfriend like i followed him to college and he broke up with me two weeks and it was a big square in the middle of these big buildings and it was raining and i just like myself down on the ground. Could britain a terrible poem. But then as i get older in reflect on that and how ridiculous it was but also the intensity of emotion at that age tell ya and also he was such a kind of person. It always is right. It has nothing to do with him. It had everything to do with me. You could have been interchangeable as a person of course. Yeah it's amazing. How end of the world. We think everything is at that age. I mean i can still feel that heartbreak this many years later. Okay to whom would you most like to apologize. and why. wow that's almost a heart wrenching question. i'm sure i apologies to so many. Can we come back to that. I think about that for a second. Let me think about that. Totally totally as i was thinking about that question. The other day i was thinking about how it was complicit. Yeah in high school in some of my friends making fun of a particular person. Oh and there were gazillion moments like that in my life you know like being a witness or a bystander wishing that i was a stronger person anyway now that you've said that actually my best friend of my whole life literally since we were born and she's still my best friend to this day. My best friend kate. We went to grade school together. And with what you just said we were inseparable so we were actually probably une cool but the two of us thought we were so cool and we were at school together and like it was the two of us in the corner eating lunch. There was no one else hung out with us. But i have a feeling we were really not cool to some others at that age so i'm sure some kids in school. We were not kind to and we were so young. But i think in our insecurity of probably thinking you know we weren't cool. We're trying to act so cool and keep people at a distance and not let anyone into our little circle. We've could have been probably mingles at some point and it's funny now is not funny to see all these stories now come to life of bullying and all that stuff in it reminds me. I don't think we're bullies. But i do think there were some kids that we definitely owes them saris to for sure. Have you gone to any of your reunions or anything. No but she has to. She always has these stories. she's like member so and so members songs on. I'm like oh my god yes. I'm kind of living vicariously through her. Going kind of through that reunion stuff but no have you. That would really scare me. I went to my twentieth. Why hadn't kept in touch with anybody. I didn't have that many friends in high school. And i sort of got roped into going. I went and i had a nice time. It was fine. And i've talked about this before but that like a few people would say like. Oh remember you is really quiet and that was such a relief to me. Because that's how i remember myself in high school. How get through this shit. Yeah yeah so. When did you start really working as an actor you were in high school. You're in the real deal high school. Yeah and i was doing theatre in seattle like after school so that was my outlet. School was just simply the chore that i had to do in the morning totally and yes so then i went to college and i thought i couldn't succeed as an actor but then got cast in this horrible horror movie that came through a local. Hire a cheerleader. That gutted amazing. We've all been there. Yep malda early. And then i decided to move to l. a. and scary movie was my first audition. Wow i didn't know that when. I got the role before i moved and it was the loneliest time like that weekend after i got the role i just thought that i was completely underqualified. I was. I felt like there isn't anybody i can talk to how that could advise me on anything. Like i didn't know anybody. I didn't have an age of have any actor. Friends really know right. Wow so it was thrilling but terrifying could all from big bang. Theory played couth or poly. I believe that was his first. Audition was big bang which is really unreal. I auditioned her first pilot audition. I remember talking to him being like. Don't get used to that. That doesn't happen like i. Just remember being like he said yeah was like my i. I couldn't believe that that's very similar to what you said. That's amazing well. Having said that though. I was rejected as a teenager for all kinds of work. There you go still though. That's still amazing. Amazing story. I wanted to ask you how else you would make a living. I like that question. Because i have a good answer. Oh good i think i would be an event coordinator party planner. What kelly i know. That's out of left field. I know so. I for years will now not this posture at kobe. I don't mean to pat myself on the back. But i throw some epic parties like really well thought out and i have obviously help and event coordinators had helped me but i love the process of putting together an event for somebody and like really thinking of all the detail. I've done it for years again with plenty of help. But i really think i would do that. And then my second which is another job. I feel like i would have is music editing. I am obsessed with the music adding music and sound to production and only witnessed it for two seconds during flight attendant and being a little bit but watching how that worked and also seen how it affected our show. Once i was like god. It's missing something than a minute later. They send me the song i'm like. Oh my god you just change the whole show. I am obsessed with music editing. I think it is the hidden thing that makes the show or movie actually work so impressed by it in the editing room. Because i've been in an editing room once and it was kind of perfunctory. You know what we're doing right. How we're patching your movie together. And then it was like by so i've never been a part of the actual process. I imagine it's like putting together. Five thousand piece puzzle. What they do in there is a real. I mean they really can make or break you and they can make a scene that maybe wasn't so great and put it all together and piece together and you're like oh my god. How did you do that. And then adding the music and whatever tone you wanna throw they are the true heroes i mean. I had zero appreciation for that before. I wish i knew more of that. I've lived my life with my head in the sand as a happy actor and woke up a year later and watch the project and find but now i really know who deserves the accolades and it is the behind. The scenes crew of people. This episode of unqualified is brought to you in part by audible in addition to being the number one place. People go to for audiobooks and all kinds of spoken word. Entertainment audible has now added hundreds of thousands of podcasts including the one. You're listening to right now. I've been a fan of audible for years. And i listen to audiobooks pretty much all day long when i'm getting ready in the morning cooking working on my latest puzzled knitting. It's especially helpful when you're in bed at night and you can't find the glasses that you misplaced back in february. I think i may have been playing librarian. And i should probably check under the bed or couch anyhow. When i'm not listening to audio books podcast which have become a big part of where people go for information inspiration and entertainment with audible. You can now find everything in one place so get on. A fair unqualified along with other popular podcasts. Search for the show in the audible at while you're there browse around and maybe you'll find some new favorites so go to audible dot com slash pods or text pods to five hundred dash five hundred to download the audible app and follow us there. Kaley you've been working but during the whole pandemic. Have you discovered anything odd about yourself for me. I've discovered that. I'd like to puzzle actual puzzles. Yeah and knitting. I've been knitting kaley. Oh my god which is also come out of left field for me. Knitting is great. I did that a long time ago. I did not get back into that during this quarantine. I was suggested to do it again but i. How fun is knitting. You can really go down the knitting. Wanna jump off the cliff going into the knitting stores and buying all the stuff fairly. Yes actor show you. Oh that's what your knitting right. Now what do you make well kaley. It's either going to be a cape for writing for you. Don't you arrived in cape. it's got plenty of ventilation. Yes by the way. That's not atrocious. I'm very impressed. Oh you're sweet. I think if you saw it up close you would disagree. But isn't it amazing how it passes the time though. Knitting is really lovely. The nice pastime. I've come to the conclusion that something about those activities is calming neurosis in me up or anxiety or something. And i wonder if other people are going through the same thing with this pandemic or if you're experiencing a lot of at all with saves me as our ranch and our horses and all the animals we have there so i've been lucky during quarantine. Where a lot of people they were in their house and we were able to obviously go to the farm and had that experience. So that made it feel like. I really wasn't in quarantine. I was very lucky. Because that's a fulltime job going out there and playing with the bunnies and the goats in the minis and riding the horses and that saved us through quarantine and made me fall even more in love with kind of the ranch life. You know amazing okay. What's the best advice you've ever been given or worse. I think it was recently. I think i already said it. But i'll say it again because it's relevant to me. Today is susanna fogel. Tally may why. Would you change anything any of your process that got you to this point. You've been in this business for so long. Why in the world would you change it for this. And she was right. I think trust yourself. You did get to this point for a reason. Don't let anyone change you. Maybe someone else's doing different and they're doing great but that works for them so continue to do it. Works for you because it definitely worked for me. I love that what lesson at an early age has stuck with. You don't get complacent. I don't care who you are what you've done it doesn't matter people don't care they're only carrying about what's in front of them and what's in front of you and i think we just cannot get complacent. I never have even from a young age. I have never looked at myself as anything other than kaley and having a career or a job that i love and that's as far as it goes for me and all the other stuff is really icing on top of the cake. It's a constant effort for me. You cannot get complacent unless you're done. Which is never for me. Yes what's your relationship like with fame. I don't really have one with it. I don't live like that. I don't look like that. I don't care where i go. i'm not hiding. I'm not trying to look a certain way for anybody. You look my instagram. It's what you see is what you get. There's nothing posed or fake. I'm an actor. And i love pretending to be other people but i also love my own life and i forget that i am anyone. My husband always says it best. He's like you don't blend well. You don't notice people looking at you. I never noticed. I have never felt any different today than i did. Twenty years ago. And i really really genuinely mean that. I so believe that about you. How do you feel about it. Well i think in general. I m agoraphobia. Feels too extreme. But i like to lay low. I always have. I think in my early twenties there was a heaviness. Like i had maybe two years where it felt intoxicating and i recognized that it was frivolous nonsensical sense of self-importance but i remember feeling twinges of that head rush of like. Oh my god. I also remember feeling a degree of shame about feeling that heaviness at least the feeling of like oh fuck. Is this the poison that turns people into fucking assholes. I think an interesting that you. I didn't know that that was basically kind of your first job to get catapulted it in such a huge film so fast like that so different than me whereas i truly feel like i grew up on camera so i feel like there wasn't ever a moment where i shot out the canon. I've been working for so long and almost the kind of i'm saying quotes with this fame. Celebrity whatever has grown with me so there was not a moment of what has happened. It just kind of grew and big bang. Kind of grew like weirdly happened. There was no moment. Yeah yeah and a slide almost into like yeah and now i think at forty four. Those feelings are kind of long. Gone the feelings of like any kind of heaviness like relationship with fame. It's not smack. Your face in any way knows exactly same. But i feel like now you've been in for so long and similar to maine to vigneault. It happened to us very differently. I don't see any other way than just who you are. That's why people love you though. That's why you're so approachable. And you're so down to earth that's all care about like we're not changing the world were entertaining people. And that's what i love to do. And if you make someone laugh one nine they watch show or they got excited for an episode of flight attendant. Oh my god this is so fun like that's great. That's my job. And that's what i love doing. What's a skill that you would love to acquire. I am learning how to cook. I love to cook. I enjoy it. I don't think i'm a great cook. But i have been learning and my husband's very good at it and over quarantine. I cooked a lot and i would like to continue. That makes me happy to serve people. Foods like give people like something you made because my husband cooks so well and you could taste the loves just filled with love and so i want to continue to cut. I love to cook. I'm not that great. Okay i give myself like a b. Okay that's good. Yeah yeah but everything is filled with love. jeff. Meet somebody in likely like i made this free. There's something so cool about it and to see them. Smile blake i baker. That's like totally different. We moved in this amazing neighborhood of all these amazing neighbors and over the holidays. They've been like gifting like dropping cookies off like it's so sweet. It's a way to connect with people and very sweet. I'm not a baker. But i think it's lovely kaley. How would you like to be remembered. I like to be remembered as down to earth horse girl when they think of me. I want you to think of a girl that loves animals and that loves to entertain and That has been the same person since the beginning. I would hope to be remembered that she didn't change. Because i don't feel like. I have but you never know what people think of you so i would hope people think that i haven't changed and i'm the same kaley. Will you take me writing some day. You on the spot. You are not on this time back. It's the greatest place to go right. Now you're outside and yes a hundred percent yes kaley. I can't thank you enough. I just admire you so much. Thank you your talents and your producing ability. It's just incredibly impressive. Your show is so fucking good. Thank you. I feel the same way about you honey. You have been the same person's day. I met you. Nothing has changed. I mean that in the nicest way you are still that girl next door. Which is who i hope to be too and i just love you and i always always will kaley. I love you all right. I love you too and let's catch up properly. Yes absolutely won't see the horses. I love you and thank you for having me on here. It means a lot of you too. Thank you so much. Okay honey by unqualified qualified. Advice is brought to you by better health. If you think you may be depressed or you're feeling overwhelmed or anxious. Better help offers licensed professional therapists. Who are trained to listen and help. Better help counselors have expertise. In a broad range of areas including anxiety grief. Depression trauma relationship conflicts self esteem and more connect privately with your licensed counselor textphone or video calls and get help on your own time at your own pace. And at an affordable rate everything. You share is confidential and know that you're not alone over a million people have taken charge of their mental health with the support of better help counselors. I think everyone would agree that this past year has been overwhelming. And we could all use help when we're feeling down so start by filling out a questionnaire to help assess your specific needs and get matched with your counselor in under forty eight hours better. Health is an affordable option in our listeners. Get ten percent off your first month with discount code farris so get started today at better. H e l p dot com slash a our. Is talk to a therapist online and get help. Hey everyone world renowned clinical sexologist. Dr patty britain is back with her wisdom insight. An answers to the questions were all too afraid to ask for more on dr patty and our other experts. You can find links on our website unqualified dot com. How dr patty hi. Thanks so much for doing this again. My pleasure all right. Let's call jessica. Hi how are you. I'm good how are you. I'm good. I am here just with dr patty britain. She is a clinical sexologist. And she's a sex educator and sex coach. she's brilliant so jessica. Would you tell us what's going on Mark yang fan i. We've been together for two years. And since the very beginning one of the things he's really brought up a lot is wanting to have a threesome and we discussed it. And i thought really hard on it and i realized it was something i was not okay with. I did not like the idea of sharing with another woman The problem is he keeps bringing it up and bringing it up bringing it up. And i just don't know how to get through to him that it's not something that i really want to do so i don't know how to do that. And then also the third person that he really wants to have someone that he had previously up with That probably doesn't feel great. A ha i guess they just want him advice on how to go about getting him to drop the topic. Is this other person still in your lives. I don't think so. Therefore we met he was i them and i call him a tender tenderhorn. 'cause he was really just into hooking up and it was one of the people that he had hooked up with a few times before he and i had met. I've never spoken to. I've never met her personally. And i don't think he really has any contact with her. Still other than i think she had either texted and reached out to him from what he says. He was not the one pursuing. It was heard that had brought it up to him. Oh so hi. This is dr patty. Hi it's great to meet you. Clear brings up a lot of questions for me. Yeah it's definitely kind of dramatic on. Well it's not just that but it feels like a pressure cooker for you and you know a relationship has to help flow. It has to have a little bit of excitement which sometimes looks like drama or stress or pressure in order to keep an exciting. But there's something about the sense of pressure and that's not a comfortable place to be. And i wonder why does he want this. That's my primary question. Have you asked him like why what's going on that. You really feel like you need this in some way. I mean we talked extensively about it. He's always told me. I guess we'd have won back in his younger years. But i think it was just to kinda random girl. He didn't really know that well and he told me that he'd never had with someone he loved which to me. Just kinda sounds like a blow off. But i guess it's just a fantasy of his and it's something he's always wanted to do he brought up. You know possibly being male female which. I don't really think i wanna do that too. Because i think afterwards there's gonna be some resentment. I don't think it's a good thing for a relationship jessica. I'm the kinda person in like in the past. Thank the idea of a threesome. Has i don't think i ever had sort of the pressure. That maybe you have but when the idea's been brought up. I feel like i'm the kind of person. Would i have too much emotional connection to my sex and knowing myself i would linger on the memories too much. I'm definitely the same way i felt in that before. Too and his thing he says you know. It's it's just that i tell them it's not. I think it's more the female thing it is. It's definitely more emotion than just the act slightly. Well there's a connection that you have with somebody. It might be a connection for twenty two minutes and that's it but it is a connection and it's emotional and as intimate because sex is intimate in terms of somebody puts a part of their body in your body if you think about it that way right right but i can't help myself because i am a sex doctor so i have a lot of questions about the. Why like what's really motivating him. Do you feel and this is a feeling because it doesn't sound like he's actually told you but do you feel like there's something missing for him or is it that maybe he watches a lot of porn. Do you have a sense about that. He definitely does. He watches a lot of corn. Maybe on something with that. 'cause he will need videos of different things that he wants to try. Yeah i'm not sure. If i don't know about something missing navy that's a question that i would want you to talk to him about like. Is there something that we're not having that we're not doing that. You're not getting from sex with me alone that you're wanting to add in another person and maybe there's a way to create fantasy talk. Maybe there's a way to look at porn together. I mean i'm not against the actually. Once was an advocate for porn longtime goes in a bureau as a porn feminist. So i mean poor is not a bad thing is just went porn pushes you to look at what is really entertainment as reality. I'm a fan right. That's the problem is like it's there to arouse you is not there to give you examples of what you wanna do this. Yeah that makes a lotta sense. Men really affected by porn. They see it and they want it. That's what happens. Maybe you could have that conversation with him. Yeah definitely that's a give me a good place to start but okay patty. This is like my conservative weird side. And it's not necessarily related to jessica. I wonder if like too much porn. I mean maybe this is a whole other topic right. The idea of hell porn can be distancing to at least in the past. Been a relationship with somebody who watches a lot of porn enjoys a lot of porn. Maybe i was overly sensitive but it made me feel a little left out and vulnerable. I don't know if that's like like. I said dr patrick. This could be a whole other conversation. Well it is a complicated conversation because there's nothing wrong with porn is how you use porn. How much you use porn. And if somebody is depending on porn to turn on or that's like how they spend a lot of their sex energy that can be a problem. If you're in a relationship with a real live human being and it can be a take away from the juicy -ness of your own relationship. That's why there are a couple of things that i often say to my clients. One is watch porn together. Because if it's a rousing for both of you why not. Why not get off together watching it right. Do you like porn Yeah in we do. I mean we'll watch it together. One thing that kind of popped into my head when they're saying all this but i really think you're onto something with using it too much because one thing we don't live together. We're in the process of buying a house. We see each other three to four times a week. I'm the one thing that has been going on. Since the beginning of our relationship. I alone. I can't get him off Okay and i think just from where he when he takes care of himself. I guess he watches porn and we'll have sex. I will climax. And then he for lack of better term takes care of them. So yeah i hear you. So the other thing that i i guess i want to suggest to you and this is gonna be tricky. And i'm not sure he's going to go along with. It is what i would call a porn fast. So get off porn. Try it out for three days or just a day. Even though i'm getting arash imagine you know going on a fast not watching or consuming any porn and what will happen is it will change your relationships sexually and maybe in other ways as well again. I don't wanna make porn. The enemy is not the enemy. It's how you manage it right. But i think what i'm getting is that it's kind of hijacking him away from you. Even though he loves you and he loves sou- which is all great. But there's almost another woman in the room already. Yeah i feel that. Yeah i can sense that so have a conversation with him about. Hey honey let's take a little break. Let's go on a vacation from porn and let's say what we can do together because if he's Well there are many expressions we could use like if he's finishing off himself. What's happening is that. He's taking you out of that equation so also not intentionally. But he's taking away the chance for more intimacy and your relationship. And i hear you're not in a temporary relationship. You're about to buy a house together right. That is really serious. So you gotta fix this stuff. Yeah jessica when you guys do see each other. Do you have sex pretty frequently or as much as you want to. Oh yeah definitely. I think other than this whole thing. I think we have a very healthy sex life. Do you guys play with toys. We do use toys. We've tried roleplaying. It's it's hard to stay in character. I guess it's just something you have to get good at but but even if you add that in there's something going on regarding the porn and the time he's spending and what he's being programmed to watch is affecting what he wants with you and i wanna come back to the pressure you feel. You don't ever have to say yes to something you don't wanna do right so that's a really really important piece of information for you to take into your heart because you're fifty percent of this relationship and what you want matters so unless there's a part of you that goes that whitefield interesting over the if there is that part of you. Then maybe this becomes a hard line boundary for you know what i mean by that. Oh yeah definitely not a wavy line. I mean you're very smart. I can tell you're taking all this in. Oh definitely yeah but this is not something to take lightly when you introduce another person into your relationship into your bed into sex play. It does change things in the relationship sometimes for the better sometimes for the worst so you have to be really careful when you go into that territory. Yeah i definitely get what you're saying and i've gone back and forth on it and i think all the times that i have considered it i and i hate myself for it but i think it's just you know trying to feed him and i don't yes i don't want it to be that i don't want it to be just for him. I would hate myself afterwards. Well it's also gonna turn into resentment. And then you're gonna start shutting down and then sexist gonna go away and that's not gonna be good. Yeah not for. that's relationship. Dr patty is there a way they can learn to. You know finished together. I don't know well you know for some guys. It's really tough to be able to let go when they've habituated that's the word you know. They've made it a habit of getting themselves off. Especially if they watch porn and they do frequently again warns not the problem. It's how you manage porn. So i think that if you go on a little vacation from porn together and you try to experience was it. Like without his being habituated to porn. First of all you can ask him. This may sound really weird. You can ask him. Show me how you do it and literally study how he does it. Yeah how does he move his hand. Does he squeezed as bob blah all that good stuff and then while you are studying it you then get to repeat how he does him because a lot of guys have very unique or special techniques. I mean really. You have no idea how complicated doing an idea obligating. And every guy is different every one of us is different. So ask how he does it so you can do it the same way and then have them coach you so you can help them. There's no magic to having him come inside of your body what's magical is sharing the experience and that's where the connection happen so when you break the connection and he turns over and guess himself off in your like gutted at at at at at i'm waiting are you diner done yet. Right not breaks. The connection and sex is about an energetic connection. And you have love lucky you the two of you love each other so this isn't just sacks he's coming out of this attitude of well that was just sex and i want to have more of the just sex in this loving relationship and there's a lot of talk that needs to happen and i think a break from porn that needs to happen. That's going to really save you from going down a rabbit hole. You don't wanna go down. Yeah oh i get what you're saying. Definitely jessica my. I love her like the guy lost my virginity to come in me. But he didn't tell me. And i had no idea because i lost my virginity him right but when i did find out because he would go to the bathroom and finish himself but well yeah i and i was really hurt you know. I mean. He was the only person i had been with. I had no idea what i was doing wrong. But i imagine jessica. If it's happened to us. I mean it's got a doctor. Patty had happened still a lot of people right absolutely. It's so common. But i think what's important. I love what you're saying on is that don't get hung up in. He's supposed to come inside me. Don't get hung up in that. There are men who just can't release that way and so if he is one of those guys he may be he may not be. I have a feeling that if he gets off porn and he spends less time with himself and more with you. Things are going to shift dramatically. That's what i'm hoping for. You but dr petty. Because they're not living together. This might be something difficult to take on right now. May be easier when they're together to do like the you know the porn fast. Yeah horn. Fast ni- disagree. okay. I like that. I think you need to get to it right away. Because you're feeling an increasing pressure on you and three times a week. Maybe you'll make it four times a week you know. He's he's not going to die if he doesn't watch porn and masturbate right and what he's gonna do is he's going to have more desire for you here and he's going to have more sexual drive and more energy to bring to the party with you and i would say as soon as we you know. Get off this call. It's time to really think about. Do we want to have a glass of wine tonight or you know snuggle. Whatever it is that you do to connect and we need to have a chat about this from a loving place right definitely. Yeah and i appreciate it. Because i guess. I think i knew what needed to be done. But i didn't know what direction to come from so definitely given me a lot of insight into how to bring it up where to go good jessica. Do you think he'll be responsive to this idea. I think he will. I think the issue will be his willpower. Yeah as far as giving up porn. But we'll see hopefully he'll be receptive to it and be willing to try. I like the idea of dr. Patty is okay with it. That at some point you guys can make your own porn. Like maybe he can film you. That's pretty erotic. We done that to some extent in the past and it has. It's been fun november. Able to go back and watch yourselves not other people. But yeah i like the thought of that but i think with dr patty. What you probably are trying to emphasize is may be addressed this before you replace like another sexual fantasy with replacing horn. Is that right. Dr patty i think the fantasy is great but jessica. You've made it clear it's not something you want. Act on definitely so unless it's something you want to act on it lives in the realm of fantasy and it also is important to me and i'm just you know i i. Work very intuitively an empathic lee. And i'm feeling you. And i'm feeling the urgency before you move in together before you buy a house together. You got to clear this up definitely better than later. yeah jessica. I hope that we helped. And it sounds like you are handling this really well. It has helped tremendously just knowing. I guess where it's coming from in how to approach him about it. Yeah the thing with the three some too. I just don't know if those memories leave you you know. Oh i i wouldn't could. I know how my mind operates. And i would probably every time we tried to have sex. I would be thinking about that. Yeah hey jessica. Thank you so much for sharing and calling. I know dr patty helped. Oh definitely you help more than you'll ever know every yeah i really appreciate how you've gone into something so personal and intimate with us. 'cause i really care about you and i want you to honor you i. That's what it's really about. Yeah no guilt no pressure okay. Thank you so much. Thank you for calling. And i hope that you and your fiance have a great winter as you move in together. Thank you so much appreciate that so much. Yeah bye sweetie by to talk to you but bye bye. Thank you dr patty. Your health is invaluable. Thank you so much for being with us today. It was my pleasure ooh.

kaley Dr patty britain Margie Susanna fogel seattle sharon lawrence Kaley kaley cuoco Samuels kayleigh margie keighley fred mimic margie mattingly kentucky bourbon hall of fame tracy whitfield John michael higgins todman belmont kamali Dexter darden
Holistic Care and Optimizing Your Body: The 5 Point Model System with Sangeeta Pati, Founder and Medical Director at SaJune Institute for Restorative and Regenerative Medicine

Outcomes Rocket

30:16 min | 1 year ago

Holistic Care and Optimizing Your Body: The 5 Point Model System with Sangeeta Pati, Founder and Medical Director at SaJune Institute for Restorative and Regenerative Medicine

"Welcome to the outcomes rocket podcast where we inspire collaborative thinking improved outcomes and business success with today's most successful and inspiring healthcare leaders and influencers and now your host so Marquez. Welcome welcome back to the PODCAST Sal Marquez here and I'm so excited to present to you. Today's guest her name is Dr Sangita Patty. She's a president and medical. Google director at an outstanding company called the Saadoun Institute for Restorative and Regenerative Medicine. Her career has started as as a Doctor in Obgyn who practice for more than twenty eight years. Fifteen of them being in regenerative medicine her five point model system was has created at Institute for Restorative and Regenerative Medicine were her team has treated thousands of patients and perfected protocols to empower patients to optimize. Their own. Health soon became a site for integrative functional doctors to train in two thousand seven since then. They've trained thousands of doctors through through workshops in over one hundred in one on one clinical precept or ship program Dr Patty has developed a supplement line. MD PRESCRIPTIVE GIBBS which simplifies the patient protocols to the least number of quality pills for the most effectiveness in today's world of reactive of medicine. It's approaches like Dr Patties. That should make us think and consider different approaches to the whole patients. And so with that I WANNA I wanna go ahead and give Dr Patty a warm. Welcome so glad that you could join us today. Thank you so much it's really is and you said it's a little cold in Orlando where you're where you or sunny at. We have no right to complain. We're just goes down to sixty degrees in everybody's freezing over career. Oh my Gosh I love it I I. I spent some time in Florida and loved every minute of it. And it's a great place. It is a very gray replace. I've decided on the Floridian. Now you're now for fifteen years. I lived in the northeast for until then until fifteen years ago. Wow well Kudos to you you made some moves and now you're in a warm place getting some more sun with your work almost three decades. So what inspires. Here's your work in healthcare. Yeah I love that word inspires because continue to be inspired and I think that what inspires it really is is the energy and the hope with which patients come through the door to see us and that is the spark. That's the fire Lou. That very patient centric ad. What would you say in your journey was a thing that you potentially overcame and strengthen in combat inspiration oh they're probably were a lot of occurrences starting with? I'm a first generation born to Indian parents and I ended up getting educated around the world including in a boarding school in India where I contracted acted encephalopathy cappuccinos and got to see the inside of a hospital for months and months on end and my father is a physicist. He always thought I was going to be. Yeah physicists but there was another plan obviously so that is what inspired me to go into medicine and I started to see different formats right there and then in came back to the United States ended up studying and training as an Obgyn at Georgetown great education and went into private practice and then got interested in the nonprofit international scene. So I manage to have a position with a company called Andrea Engender. Hell that had a large Alex grant to lower maternal mortality around the world and funded by bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. That's when I had an opportunity to travel in actually work in Kenya. Tanzania on how Thailand just many countries around the world and I worked mostly with midwives and doc traditional birth attendants and also ministries of health and it became very clear that my toolbar of pharmacy and surgery wasn't really addressing addressing the underlying cause and additionally was not a sustainable way to practice or help anybody to get really well. So when I transitioned back into really practicing medicine I started to get some signs messages that I really should be looking for causes. It's and in two thousand three. I actually stopped practicing obstetrics gynecology and delivering babies and started to practice restorative relative regenerative medicine to empower patients to be in the driver's seat for their own health. And of course it was a learning curve because I didn't know anything anything when I started in two thousand and three in terms of the book knowledge but I knew in my heart that if you restore the body to optimal optimal it can heal itself so that was the premise of which we wrote and that was kind of journey that got me to the point of practicing this US causal approach and when you mentioned the point model system earlier to the five point model system is really a system by which we optimize the the mind both the subconscious in the conscious in I really referred to it as heart mind because the heart is a driving most of the subconscious. The physical body oxygenation. That's the second one. And then optimizing the fuel tank of hormones and the fuel tank of nutrition Shen and then daily detoxification so those are the five areas and when I say optimize the nutrition. I'm not talking about optimize into a normal range range. I'm talking about the seventy fifth percentile and above. Because that's where you get protection so that's the by model system and for me. It was real easy to start with the hormones because I'm an OBGYN right but slowly. I realized that without an selenium and I and I and you don't activate the thyroid pathways and if you're not clearing a the liver and the kidneys and doing daily detoxification with a hundred ounces of water. You won't have the full effect in. Of course everything Starts with where is our heart mind and oxygenation so that is how the transition occurred. I think it's practicing in a way. Where we we? Don't I just do one thing. Or the other empowering people to optimize all five areas and get to the point where they really don't need us that much but I think it's a powerful framework and The experiences that you've had Sangita around the world really opened up your perspective and the options. What's that we could consider as we think about taking care of ourselves or or the patients we serve? WHO's a mentor? That made a big impact in your life. Why didn't really fortunate fortunate? I've had a lot of mentors really. Of course this would be obvious but everybody starts off with their mother and their other mentors in my father's in elementary physicist who really imparted a lot of information about onto his ex. I fascinated by that. And it's funny. I talked to him yesterday at six. PM VM California time and he's still sitting in Stanford doing physics working and he's above eight years old. He's it's not going to let that go but having having parents who are really enthusiastic about certain things makes for a very good mentor. My mother. You know writes children's books in astronomy and those were by beginning as time went on. I ended up having an uncle uncle who was a physician in a medical college in India. And I got a real awakening there when I went as a medical student and realized that my clinical skills at diagnosis go. Nowhere close to what they were for them. They they were ahead of me because they rely much less on the diagnostics. The diagnostic agnostic. So they had to be lose their status. Go to diagnose stop right which I was doing too but not at that level and then you know as that went on. I was very fortunate like like I took a job as an OBGYN and within a couple of years. Like I fired which was great. I wasn't bringing in money because I was looking to how to save the patient. Money the funny but that was great. Because then you know Dr Drug Lord who was practicing the DC area took me under his wing and he's the the one who allows me to have like a job where I would. I would be able to work abroad. And then you know roll forward. I would say one of the biggest mentor stories. I had in regenerative restorative. Medicine was the late. Dr Robert Marshall From Premier Research Laboratory in Austin and I'm at him over a decade ago and started to learn deep information about the energetic systems and the nutritional systems and the nutritional forms and just amazing stuff so I would say that he was a major highlight in terms of this journey into what Michael really regenerative medicine just means. It's causal medicine like looking for the 'cause you're not looking for okay. I have a headache. I'M GONNA take tylenol bright Symptoms right is it because I'm dehydrated or is it because I don't have enough. Magnesium is my vascular system unstable because of some there's so many great easy causes Nobody has tylenol deficiency right so he was a big mentor and then more recently. Dr John Absolutely has been one of my mentors in. I actually ended up getting engaged to him because he was so smart. I'm like any go so I would say those those have been those would be the highlights but I had a lot of mentors in between and they've always been brought to me just I call it. The Universe is doing it for me by they will get fortunate enough. I feel very blessed or before I had in my life to teach me bedspread I also I also feel like they continue okay. I don't feel like you know when people pass that. You lose that knowledge because I have felt Dr Marshall Speaking to me you get passing me. Things is on very tough agents and I still feel that. That's so great. Yeah you know. It's the power of mentorship is huge. Glad you had a chance here to to recognize many of the people in your parents to mentors to your fiance. So that's great and so today. The the challenge is symptom treating and you guys are digging into Causal Medicine. Tell us What holds people back from digging in deeper into causal Madison and its benefits? Yeah that's a really great question. I believe that inherently we are actually Salihi program to look for causes if you go back ancient and sometimes I I call this path. I'm on the ancient future because if you really look like a lot of the things that we go back to our things we just knew from before your it turns out that if you look you go into due to any physicians family and see how they treat a cold. Nobody goes running for an antibiotic. I always start with bumping immune system where dexter fluids with vitamin C would zinc probiotics. These are things that are inherent common sense in ancient cultures. You'd go back four thousand the near there. Were doing the same stuff so I think that we're actually as human race program to not only with all the knowledge that we need to keep ourselves. Well Oh and to heal ourselves but also that's that's what our heart wants to do. Most of us do that. Nobody is you get a sore throat. You'RE GONNA do salt water gargle Argonne. I write usually and I think that a really speaks volumes. That in our practice just about a quarter of our patients are are healthcare practitioners and their spouses and families. So they're looking for the same medicine. I think that they've done a lot of interviews and questionnaires Janeiro of physicians and as to their first choices for a lot of things that most people choose equally. They're not choosing pharmacy surgery. I so I think in response to your question of what holds us back. What's happened over time? Is there's a certain amount of indoctrination that's occurred with the what I would call. Hope Western medical system in some way and the Western medical system is not as empowering to people because it requires as you to go to somewhere to get a diagnosis and have somebody gives you that diagnosis. I think the physicians are really at their wit's end these days because of the way our medical systems broke it really is. It's very difficult for even people who are practicing you're saying conventionally it's just it makes you sack like doctors are burning out. That's a fact and I think that if you look at it that comes from a chronic stress response and that's a cause and most people recognize that so on the one hand I feel that there has been a certain amount of if you can call a holding back from looking at causal stuff. But it's always been there and I feel that yes. There has been a middle decades. Where we we have relied very heavily on the concepts of Pharmaceuticals and surgery? But I believe as a human race were actually starting starting to take our power back that way and become extremely knowledgeable about how to really optimize the function an of this body so that it can keep you healthy happy energetic and free of chronic degenerative diseases. Yeah I love that right and so what do you think is an example of. Maybe how you guys at the June institute how you helped others or comes uh-huh challenge and and maybe a good story here would be great to hear how who took the challenge of One of the thing. I'm not sure I understand the question. Exactly maybe the traditional healthcare system and resorting to Pharma and surgery. Right away. Now I think for us that what has become a lot easier because the people who are walking through this door have already set the intention that they're looking for addressing the causes otherwise they wouldn't come through the store because it's not an easy journey. We are out of network providers which means people have to plow hard-earned money to see us Our programs are not simple. If you have fibromyalgia I'm not going to be able to prescribe lyrica for you. That might be a lot more simple but your program's going to be a lot more complicated. So it's a self selecting group that we don't end up really doing a lot of convincing because it's a self selecting group because either they decided to go towards looking for causes because maybe they're having side effects of medications and I'll give you a couple of examples or they haven't gotten gotten well using all the different approaches so they're trying something new right. This might be a last resort. A lot of times people are looking for a causal causal medicine or regenerative restorative whatever if functional. There's so many names for a lot of times. People look for those approaches because nothing else has worked and that number is growing rolling because our population is getting sicker. And we're seeing more young people under the age of twenty five and I've ever seen before I would see out the new patients. I'm saying I'm going to tell you that. A quarter of them are now under the age of twenty five ready as we're sick the generation behind us the sicker than US and There are a lot of reasons for that. If you go back to the five point model that we had sort of talked about a little bit. One of the things that you'll see is that you know. Modern modern civilization is like man's greatest disease if you will because we push ourselves to do thirty six hours of things in a twenty four hour day right and how you know. Oh this is when you look at long living cultures around the world. You get a chance to see that long. Living cultures they're climbing mountains until about the age of one hundred and their chronic degenerative changes at a cell level of our way later than ours ours is occurring around age thirty five. So you know that it's possible so then you start looking at what's what's the cause and of course one of the causes is that the speed of the engines too high. That's a much physical and the mental stressors. That are there. The other part of the picture picture is that were exposed to over a hundred thousand manmade toxins environmental toxins from various sources that we never were exposed to before four and the biggest one coming up on the horizon. It's going to end up being the five G. into that later. But and then of course you know that the USDA USDA reported almost sixty percent decline across the board in every attritional category over fifty years from nineteen gene. The nineteen ninety nine. I think they did the study. So that means that if you got your nutrition whatever nutrition you got from one apple in nineteen. I'm fifty you might have to eat three or four apples to get the same amount of by Manet. Whatever else we were getting from it so our soil is depleted because we're utilizing mechanisms? Don't repeat the soil so those would be the nutshell of sort of the reasons so all these young kids are walking around with basically adrenal greenall thyroid stress nutritional deficiencies and they're bombarded with a lot of chaos which we teach them how to mitigate by response response to give you some examples. I think that might be really useful and I'll give you some examples in every age group but you know I treated over the past three years. The biggest issue that we're seeing these young people is either what's known as attention deficit disorder or Zaidi and depression. Those the big and fatigue there was a big ones. And if you look at the United States you'll see that energy drinks are the number one growing drink. Nobody's deficient in read. Full Day care before you. Yeah and you're not select die. It's got you know it's not going to make up for once. Actually missing fatigue anxiety depression. Those are big ones among young people in if you talk to teachers these days in schools in grade schools. They'll tell you that a good quarter in order to a third of their students are on some kind of medication which is terrible. That never used to be the case right. So how do you deal with that. So what ends it's up happening. Is that the parents that come here. When their children are diagnosed with those things they have a tendency to double check bringing the strike so instead of medicating them they bring him to you they bring them to us in a bit of a battle because you see if the kid is in college everybody? WHO's on Ritalin? ADDERALL is actually short getting better grades than the people who are not you end up having a wave or children in college who actually go to college psychologists but whatever they're looking for a prescription fiction of adderall and we'll get it so you know sometimes the kids themselves aren't convinced because we're not gonNA give them just a pill on a bunch of so for example apple I have a nineteen year old kid exactly like that a young boy whose both parents come to us and he actually was diagnosed with ulcerative. colitis US at a very young age and his parents had brought him to us and we ended up helping him to regenerate his intestinal track and he ended up being symptom. Free until even Mike Golic right. He goes to college and eating whatever they eat and started out problems with focus and he wants to get on the adderall in his parents brought him here so I had a discussion with him and said look you. Of course there is the best part about where you are. All right now is that you have option. Yes you can take the adderall. Yes you can. There's one hundred different approaches that is going to give you the result and some of them are going to be easier than others so you get to choose what it is that you think is going to suit you. But I'll tell you what you can do from our perspective so on a mind level. I talked to him about heart. Rate Variability in getting his heart rate variability from what's called a incoherent rhythm to a coherent rhythm. And if I could paint this out for you for them angry I scattered pattern versus a coherent heart. Rate Variability is a nice sign way and the difference is the sin seventy percent of your nervous system what as in the intestines instance if you have an incoherent road at another yes the intestines hold the major part of the nervous system. So that's that's kind of the connect with ibs us that's why you can't treat. Id Pill if you do not change the heart rate variability every time. There's a stress and heart grow billy's incoherent. The person will have ideas sentence right so it's flipping by heart rate variability. And so I said you know we can learn how to change the heart rate variability. That's the mind signed aspect right from the toxin aspect that the second part of the five point model. We can teach you how to increase your ph of your urine so that you're an alkaline instate in your talks because you're eating GMO foods if you're eating from the cafeteria in college and we can teach you how to shield your phone burs. Actually these kids are exposed to so much of this y final accounting. Actually so are we. So we've we have quite a lot of different methods by in which we can help them either with the phones of their space and things like that just don't have the kind of electrical road on their nervous system. That's driving this hyper-ness ernest like if you look. I don't know if you've experienced this but I know physicians around the United States who are experiencing this massive flood of depression anxiety. Eighty that's occurring in these young people now or die actually is responsible for a lot of strange things that we're seeing hearing about but we teach we teach them how to avoid oy plastics around their food to eat organic. Because you avoid pesticides fertilizers and we think roundup was a problem. But it's GONNA end up being every fertilizer. Aside don't belong in the human body right they don't belong in our water system so I just talked about on the five point model so for this gentleman. We taught him how to do. He ended up choosing thing to do to work with us because before and he knew that it was about getting his power back so he doesn't have to keep going to a medical system. And I and you know feeling like he doesn't have options right so he decided to work with us. Unusually we tell these young people I mean they buried from age. You know we have infants in this practice by usually right around the age of eleven or twelve I ask the parent that's bringing the child in to step out of the room because the relationship really got to be that this person wants to do this is not a these are not easy so mine. WAFFLE is we. He engaged in heart rate variability program and ended up learning how attitude that that actually took away a lot of the symptoms on the gastric pathway. And then he was absorbing more nutrients the of course the focus goes up on the toxin oxen part we taught him how to increase. Vh mostly with drinking one hundred ounces of water with pink salt and lemon in it and making sure that the morning Ph is above seven point eight. We put a shield around his phone nutrition. Wise we do a blood test that most of the insurances cover and we showed him worse nutritional status assists and then corrected our belief. Is that your main way to correct. Nutrition is with your food because nature packages it much better than supplement but we also used supplements the big ones are magnesium acetate tornado which is specifically targeted to the nervous system in a very good way and fish. Oil used enteric coated fish oil and corrected all his be vitamin deficiencies is nutritional pattern. showed what we call a typical nickel gastric pattern. Where you're not absorbing because you have gaps in the lining some people call it leaky gut and then in the hormonal area? A it turned out it because he was having a chronic stress response. His thyroid function was so this always ends up being kind of interesting Pity so all. The thyroid numbers were totally borderline. Any had antibodies to thyroid so a lot of people would maybe not treat that right but we decided decided that we were gonNA treat dot temporarily until he got everything else right then. We took him off the thyroid but also he wasn't sleeping at night he was up. It's kind of funny. These kids describe things like they're texting each other. Are you sleeping and the person's it responding. Yes I'm sleeping. How could you possibly be sleeping? Would respond and that physical wise just teaching people to read. But what happens when they go into these programs there ninety day programs is they they end up taking a lot of the power back themselves and they barely then they really see us. They'd sometimes see us twice a year but in the beginning we might be seeing them every other week at success. Get him out. The Adore healthy love. It's on guitar and I could give you many. I don't know how long we have. But you know that was a that was brilliant. Brilliant and and what I would like to do is if listeners WANNA have some more examples let's invite them to go visit your site or wherever you believe would be a place that they could engage you further. What's that place? Well they certainly can look at decision dot com website and I do have a presence. It's on link My Name and usually I respond to that. So those are the two good ways I think. Beautiful so folks check out the soon website it's S. A. J. U. N. dot com there. You'll find videos of the things that Dr Patty is up to insomnia treatment take syndrome. Depression anxiety hormones a lot of really great stuff so if this has piqued your interest checkout what she and her team are up to June dot com But also in the in the show notes we'll have a link to her Lincoln profile and the website go to outcomes rocket dot health and type in soon S. A. J. you any you'll find it all there. If you had a you know you obviously shared your your five point model heart. Mind physical body Hormones Nutrition and daily Detox folks. We're going to be taking that away here. But what closing thought would you leave all the listeners with as they think about wellness for themselves their loved ones and their patients. Well I believe that every human being should be in the driver's seat for their own health and they have the ability to do that. So that's what I encourage everybody to do whatever mechanism they use to keep their power in terms of their utter confidence incidence and trust in their own knowledge and their own intuition and insight. That's wonderful great. Call to action something that I'm taking to heart and hope everybody listening does too. I would like to say one more thing. So insofar point model we know that re approximates along living. Because it re- approximates how long living Really regenerate which is by taking advantage of the gifts of nature her and the gifts of nature if you look at those five points are the sun so exposure to the circadian rhythm of the Sun the Earth and the soil. Bill is the nutrition and that means getting yourself into that earth planting or stuff getting into this ground. Detoxification is structured water oxygen region oxygen oxygen and most importantly the vibration of joy because the vibration of joy is what programs structure of water. That's around your DNA and turns on and off they gene's promoter and suppressor regions. It's the ultimate epigenetics is the control of the gene. Sits in your hands hands by simple things like these five things that you can do to reconnect to nature. So I've had a lot of fun and if you want to hear a little bit more about what I just said. There's actually a podcast on our website that interviews the on this exact topic very interesting and I really like the way you phrased it the the gifts of nature taking advantage of those gifts of nature. That's really what the five-point models about and What a great invitation folks? I encourage you to go check that out. I'll definitely be checking it out right after we finish and Sangita just want to say thanks again for joining us Funky so much thank you and God bless everybody. Who's listening to this? Thanks for listening to the outcomes rocket. podcast these shoot visit us on the web at. WWW DOT outcomes outcomes rocket dot com for the show notes resources inspiration and so much more.

Dr Sangita Patty United States adderall Institute for Restorative and physicist Restorative and Regenerative M India Sal Marquez Causal Medicine Orlando Dr Patties Google president Florida Dr John Kenya Tanzania
Clea DuVall

Anna Faris Is Unqualified

1:13:49 hr | 3 weeks ago

Clea DuVall

"Hey dear listeners. Today's guest is clear duval who you know as an actor from a million things including one of my very favorite shows veep most recently. She directed the who movie happiest season. Which i just loved. I've met clear a few times over the years. And i've always been a big fan after talking clear i'm joined again by world. Renowned clinical sexologist author and sex coach. Dr patty britain who shares her thoughts on commitment. And of course sex as always. Thank you so much for your kind reviews and telling your friends about our show if you have a question or story to share. Please visit our website at unqualified dot com. One last note. This will be our last episode for twenty twenty all of us at unqualified wish. You good health and happiness in the new year. See you in january. Here's clear ladies and gentlemen. You're listening to on unqualified on. Hi hi how are you. I'm good thanks so much for doing this. Of course you for having me. I really appreciate it. I was watching some of your other press interviews and noticing this background which i just love thank you. Do you like miniature things. I do like little things. Yeah i really do. I do too. I grew up really short. I don't know if there's a correlation but their safety in miniature things to me for a while. I was building a murder mystery scene. 'cause i bought one of those miniature tents. This is so boring. no. I want to hear this. Do you know if you go to like an rei or a tent. Supply place yet have little tents the miniature tents of the big tent yet so i tracked one of those down on ebay and i had a family camping murder scene. That's awesome. I did the same thing with barbies to clear. I watched him movie last night. I loved it so much. Thank you and my distant perception of you. I hope this isn't too forward as we get to know each other. I guess it's sorta surprised me. I assume that people perceive me as maybe an extension of some of the characters. I play maybe a bit of ding bat or a really bubbly personality. And maybe i am both of those things but my distant perception of view. I think is of a darker sensibility. Is it to forward of me to sort of present this idea. I guess that it took me a little bit by surprise that this is like joyous heartfelt very moving and very funny movie came from you. I hope that's not rude. No not at all not at all. I mean it's interesting because you know like we met such a long time ago. You remember that yeah. We were kids. I feel like. I've met you several times in like a short period of time but it can't identify what those times were like. I just know that. I had met you than and i never got an impression from you that you are like a bat or bobbly. You're like so pleasant. And warm. And i just remember thinking like other girls really cool. Thank you clear. I remember distinctly intense audition. Evening for carnival. And i don't know if you remember this what you're did you do that but maybe it was like two thousand three. Yeah maybe it was my time. Line of that show is very weird. 'cause we did the pilot and then it was such a long time before we got picked up. That never am able to grasp exactly when everything happened for our listeners. I think for me was one of the few roles that additional for that was dramatic. I usually didn't get an opportunity. And we had this intense audition. I feel like the evening lasted four and a half hours. Maybe it was only forty five minutes. But you and i were auditioning think there was one other actress. We auditioning for the director and producers in a hbo and we were there for quite a long time. And i remember distinctly thinking clear is gonna get. This is gonna get this. I know she's gonna get it and you did. But i also remember in the audition room one of the producers said. Can you just do this again. But with a lot more subtleties. I was like oh man. Okay i felt. Like i was being as subtle as i possibly could but then there was that realization of like. I think my face is just in general to active. Well i don. I feel like i have the opposite problem. Where if you can you do a little bit more you awake but yeah that is so wild. It was a very long late night. Remember that remember there was like no one else in the building so clear. Can i ask you a little bit. About directing yeah. I've never directed. I think i would like to. It's a broad question. And i wish i could narrow it down but because i've never done it. This'll be my approach. Would departments proved to be valuable that you may be underestimated. Who did you rely on. What surprised you about the process. I mean i relied on everyone. You know so much. Every single department matters equally. You know because if one is you know. Falling behind bennett affects everything else. But the departments. That i spent the most time with you know that i feel like helped me. Think about filmmaking in a different way were my dp and my production designer. We became this unit. This like very tight unit at my line producer slash executive producer and creative producer. The five of us really formed this team because we were on it for the longest we worked together. The most may dp and production design are actually married to each other. So you know the three of us would spend a lot of time before we even left to go into pre production just watching films for reference and talking about the movie because we were able to build the set of the house in talking about the house where the rooms were going to be based on the script. You never get that opportunity to tailor the script. It's always the other way around so they were really kind of instrumental in helping establish the visual language. In how important that was to know that early on because it really made it so much easier to make decisions quickly throughout the process later on because we had such a solid foundation to use a term that i bristle against my fiance. Oh i love the concept. It feels fancy in a weird way. Yeah congratulations thank you. He's a dp and he is always telling me that he believes that actors make the best directors. I've never been directed by an actor. So i don't have sort of that performance relationship with director necessarily but i love the performances. Your cast is filled with brilliant actors. And i love it that especially watching. Kristen there's a moment that. I just love and i know you must love it too. When she's sneaking around the house yeah her intensity and sincerity. She never relies on any kind of facial gimmickry. I know exactly what you mean. Yeah so every moment with her is steeped in sincerity. Which makes could have been kind of a minor moment. Her awkwardness and sort of fumbling. Really like struck. My funny bone and mckinsey was incredible. When casting did you have everybody in mind. I wonder if one of the bigger challenges when directing actors is making sure that they're following the story line as you shoot in not consecutive order. You know everybody was so prepared. And i think mackenzie had the hardest job just in general but also just in terms of leg her tracking where she was at because it was the beginning of the movie. She is fully herself and then as it goes on. She is progressing more and more and more until like the final moment towards the end when she is fully back into her fear her teenage self making that reopening that wound you know but i mean she was very good eye tracking at herself and i felt like all of the actors really had the story and our schedule was crazy because everybody was so busy and flying in and out like allison and aubrey and mary steenburgen like they all started leader and alison had to go places and aubrey could only be there for the last ten days so it was really this shuffling around but for the most part we really shot a lot of the stuff in order as much as we could so it didn't feel difficult track. It was more keeping the tone of the movie you know because mackenzie in are such incredible actresses and they do mostly dramatic work so it was really like finding the truth within the tone of a romantic comedy which can be you know it operates in a different level. And if you're doing a drama. A scene can be devastating in serious and then in romantic comedy. It's handled in a different way so it was really just like keeping track of that to make sure that we are maintaining the tone. Yeah is christmas. Your favorite holiday. I mean i really liked christmas time. I liked there are decorations and lights and things just feel difference because growing up in los angeles when it's just the same all the time it's maddening like i know people who might be listening to this. Who are living at lake for. Their cars are covered in snow. There probably like go to hell but the monotony of just living in a place that never changes drives me crazy so any kind of weather any kind of change in the environment. I really welcome so. There is something about christmas time. That just feels different. You know and. I really do enjoy that. But i actually don't like christmas day. 'cause then it's over. I like the anticipation of all those things a lot. More but in terms of the traditions really like thanksgiving but it is such a complicated holiday because it celebrating something. That wasn't good. You know the relationship about holidays complicated. But i like getting together with friends and having a nice meal completely when i first moved to los angeles timeless and i think it is reflective very much in the community of los angeles at least in the entertainment field where it is like time just seems to have a different structure in people are terrified of age and all kinds of things. But i can understand. I think any marker of time changing. Yeah i feel like a very much an old grumpy person when it comes into just the fuss of any holiday But this year. I'm actually feeling a little more christmasy than normal. I don't know why that's nice and why not enjoy it. Do you have a tree already. No no i think we're going to get one though. So can i ask you a series of questions of course. Okay what or who has influenced your career the most well. It's a big idea. It's a very big idea. In terms of who i feel like it's not like there's been one person i feel like. It's been a collection of people along the way. It's almost like a relay race or something that you know. I get to a certain point. And then there's another person who's come on. Here's this thing you know. But i mean the person who has been the most consistent in my life. Just in terms of creatively encouraging. Me and helping me is my french aggressively at who i actually met because he directed the pilot of carnival in directed a bunch of episodes in. We've stayed really close. Ever since i think he is such an incredible writer and filmmaker. He's read everything. I've ever written and given me notes on my films. And he's just so supportive of me and he's really helped me on the filmmaking side a lot just in terms of finding my feet yeah he is definitely someone who i turned too often. But that evolves at changes like the producer of this movie is clouds in our who works at temple hill. He's become a collaborator of mine. Who i find very inspiring very smart really liked pushes me in challenges me in a way that i really need even though we've only been working together for the past four years. He's someone who. I want to continue down the road with my very brief encounter with him. He seemed incredibly brilliant and incredibly kind. Yes he is both of those things he's like a real human being he's solid and i really don't know what i'd do without him. I love that. Okay i wanna go back to some past issues. But i if you could live anywhere in the world for a year where would it be man. We northern california. Like up around inverness where there is. It's near point radius near the water. Okay kind of wild and rugged wild and rugged but near water or maybe somewhere up in oregon somewhere on the coast. I don't like the beach. And i don't like water but i like to look at it. I'm with you on that. What talent or ability would you most like to have like. there are so many the violin. Do you play at all. No not at all. I have no musical ability at all clear. I bought a cello like back in april during the time. When you buy a cello when you've been in your house for three weeks. And i thought it was going to be really sexy and i'm self taught it's going great so i admire you for it. Though for wasting five hundred. I mean listen. How often do you play it. I play it about once a month. Okay and by play. I think that's pretty generous. Do you have anything. Do you watch a youtube video or something or you. just go. i just sort of hack at it. Yeah i saw that thing back and forth. And then i put it in our bathroom okay. Questions what character or role have you most enjoyed playing If i was asked that question i would break it into two different ideas like the happiest i've been on set and then the character. I've played that. I've rebelled in getting the opportunity to play that character. Yeah i mean. In terms of a character. I have loved to play. I really loved playing my character amateur leader which was such a long time ago. I have to see that movie again. It was such a great movie. It was a great movie. Yeah but i don't know. I have the sense that there is a role that i haven't played yet. That's gonna be the one where i really feel like. Oh yeah this. Is that role that everyone always talks about. You know. I feel like everybody has one that is like but maybe that was it. I also feel like there's something else out there. Yeah i did this. India called smiley face and we shot it. I think in twenty days for dollars which was really exciting. I felt like very much. A part of the process and my character was bizarre and stoned the whole time. I'd never had this feeling before. I would wake up early for my call and be so excited about my dialogue. The day that's awesome. It felt pretty rare. I mean we are fortunate to have our dream jobs and yet it feels like even with the perfect filming experience you cannot be consistently elated. Oh yeah there's always the stuff. I was really happy on the That probably the most fun i ever had. Can i ask you about on veep. Satya so allison janney. She was a guest. And i've talked to. Sam and tim and anna. They've all been on the podcast. I'm trying to get everybody from veep. But what was that like because alison described it as you've got the pages and then they're gone yet. So wait will you tell me about that. And how really nerve wracking or both in the beginning nerve wracking. Because like i'm definitely an actor. Who prepares i really know my lines inside and out. I am not good at cold reading. I can't learn that way. If i look at something i can't remember. I just can't do it so it was really scary at first because also veep was my favorite show when i got the part and i was just terrified all the time. I just didn't want to be the person who fucked up via that was in my mind the perfect show so i guess it was really just adrenaline and survival instincts. Overrode dinners and i would just be able to do it and keep up hopefully but everyone was so generous and so warm and it was such a wonderful environment to be in because it just felt like such a great community you know where there was so much support comes from the top. Julia is so incredible. And such a great leader. That feeling assure you know what to come onto a set where everyone has been working for a while. You show up in your just like okay well. It's so scary. Yeah like the foreign exchange student who just shows up in a family. that's already operating in your dislike. Is this okay. But they always really just made me feel at home and it was awesome. But you know. I'm not an improviser at all and i really just stuck to the script. And there wasn't a ton of improv. The scripture so well written and rewritten often onset is one of the best shows on television. Yeah and whichever project you're in you have a very strong screen. Presence always in dialogue isn't even necessary. And i wish i could nail that concept like in my brain articulated well but anytime you're in frame. Euro strong magnetic presence. Your is drawn to you. How are you at accepting compliments. Clear i'm working on it before it used to be easier. I think when i would podcasts and because you know we would like be sitting next to each other whatever in now looking intently some very and then also being able to see my own face. Yeah i don't know it's Yeah all right. So what is the trait. You dislike and others entitlement. Yeah what is a trait. You dislike in yourself hypocrisy. Can you elaborate on that. I mean. I think that there are times when i am. You know. I always come around to seeing yet but i think sometimes in particularly in my personal relationships the things that i am most affected by are the things that i have done. But it's something i'm working on. Definitely something i've improved. Where i really consciously slow everything down. It's like if i took your water in. You took my coffee. And i'm like you took my coffee. You took my coffee to like slow down and be like but i also took your water so you know. It's really doing that balance. But when i am not able to catch it it's disappointing that kind of self critique and examination is pretty remarkable and really doing the best i can. So what is your favorite rainy day. Movie i mean. There are three movies that i do three. Of course yeah sounds of the lambs who good beetlejuice and gone hog day. Those are great beetlejuice. Still it's a great movie. Soga still unnerves me. I think because. I don't know maybe when i was nine or ten and it had that discordant elements gap but it is a great movie. I love what qualities do you look for. In a friend think authenticity and sense of humor are really important. I like that a mock asian to you lie. I'm sort of like compulsively honest. But usually when i say like let's hang out or let a thing and lake. This week is crazy. Let's check in next week and generally. It's the thing that i want to do. But i find myself sometimes like paralyzed by committing to do something. I have a really hard time committing to something. I feel the same way. What's your relationship with religion. I'm not a religious person. I have some people in my life. Who are very religious and see how much it benefits them and so i definitely have a respect for it. Yeah a friend of mine. Just recently said that she really envies her religious friends. Because there's an ease to their spirituality that she feels like she can never have. I think it's an interesting idea. I think that you can find an ease to your own kind of spirituality that works for you. That has nothing to do with religion though. This episode of unqualified is remarkable. By maker's mark in his book whiskey women the untold story of how women saved bourbon scotch and irish whiskey. Award-winning author fred. Mimic calls margie. Mattingly's samuels arguably the most underrated bourbon figure of all time. Of course i'd like to change the underrated and untold parts. Everyone should know that margie. Samuels was an all around bad ass together with her husband bill. Margie helped create a new type of bourbon. You know it today. As maker's mark. Margie was pretty much responsible for everything that distinguishes the makers brands. The name label. She even had the idea to hand dip every bottle in the iconic red wax. Something maker's mark continues to do to this day while the taste of maker's mark has always stood out from the crowd. It said that margie. Samuels is why you pick up your first bottle in two thousand fourteen. Marci was inducted into the kentucky bourbon hall of fame as the co founder of maker. Smart and a symbol of the industry's focus on women as leaders consumers and pioneers so ladies. Remember to pour yourself into everything you do and to reach for bourbon. That's made with a personal touch the next time you pour a glass of maker's mark raise a glass to all of the remarkable women in your life and remember maker's mark crafts bourbon carefully. And they ask that you enjoy it that way okay. What is your greatest extravagance ordering food like a nice restaurants. What would be your truffle to you. Like caviar oh and not quite that fancy but you know there are some restaurants that are lake. There's a restaurant in. Lewisville has called all time. That i love like i just think the quality of their food so good. And then there's one in highland park hippo and it's like that same thing like a great state curve something like that were just like every so often it just feels like a nice thing to do clear. I wanna get back a little bit to direct in. Do you remember what your hardest day was. Shooting and what particular challenges made it difficult. I mean our whole schedule was so hard because we shot this movie so quickly for the size of this movie was kind of insane but the hardest day was probably the day at candy cane lane shot there two days but the first day in the very beginning of the movie when they're walking her on the tour 'cause we were supposed to shoot that movie later in the schedule but we found that it was going to rain so we had to this last minute decision to flip days and shoot that in our first week i think it was maybe our lake second or third day of filming and i mean you know when you're on onset it kind of takes a couple of days to really get into the groove and we were still getting into our group in our crew was awesome and our cast is awesome but it was also still such a crazy thing for our department to have to do and for our electricians to have to do it was just suddenly having to do what was like technical the most challenging thing in our whole movie in terms of lake manpower and we also didn't have a huge crew to do it. It's not like we could hire whole different team to go do that stuff. It was like our people's having to split off or work late. You know. I think our gaffer worked twenty four hours or something crazy like that was really everybody kinda like rolled up their sleeves. Got in there. And they didn't incredible job so that was a big challenge and then getting there and getting all the background artists in their spots and managed and it was a lot of moving parts to be dealing with unexpectedly was very stressful name. What was your least favorite part of directing and your most favorite part. I mean my favorite part is just all of it. But i think really building the team you know building the team between the crew in the cast in all of us becoming this well oiled machine together really felt so satisfying to be able to walk into an environment where everybody was happy and everybody was happy to see. Everybody was such a warm set. It was really really nice. And then my least favorite part all the bad stuff kind of goes away clear. I love that you were so i mean. I'm sure you worked on a lot of miserable seth. Yeah yeah and i love it that your joy your enthusiasm and your drive gave so much to your team and i bet it was a blast to work because you feel it watching it too. Yeah everyone had a lot of fun. It was really wonderful to see because even the challenges always push you to come up with a solution that is inevitably better than what you wanna do anyway. Did you enjoy the editing post production process. Oh yeah i love. Yeah i love at it yet so fun. It's rating editing. Writing the whole the whole journey feels incredibly intimidating it because even though he worked in this industry for a while i feel like i know so little i have not been paying attention in. It's humbling. i guess. I bet you know more than you think you now. You know. there's no way that you have been on as many sets of been on for as long as you've been on them without absorbing without immediate absorbed clear maybe this fund is full. No i that if you got into that environment. Because you're not alone doing it. You know you have a team around you. You're all working towards a common goal and it's also okay to not know things and it's okay to ask questions. I forget even the name of the meeting but there were some meeting. We were having early on with everybody on the schedule. I was just like. I don't even know what this means. What am i supposed to do to leading this meeting. I have no clue what it is. What it's for. What am i going to do. And i just asked jonathan mccoy who is our executive producer. What is this thing. And he explained it to me. I was like okay. Great now i know now i know what that is. I think as long as you're okay with not knowing things and asking the questions you need to ask to get the information you need. You'll be fine because everyone you're working with has done it a lot. And they have done it. A million times and they've worked with a lot of directors of varying skill levels. So i bet you could do michael my partner. He's worked with a lot of first time directors. But i bet after we talk that we'll talk about how so many first time directors i suspect are very hesitant to admit that they don't know what's going on anyway so i think that hopefully if i ever get the opportunity to direct i will be a question. Asker and put my aeko assigning. Yeah afford have no idea what's going on okay. What have you taken the time to learn about. i think the technical side of writing you know just. There are so many books on writing in so many philosophies. I'm so valve. Tot but i know there are so many things that i could learn but i've never been a person who reads a book and knows how to do something i have to do it myself incorrectly and then figure out where i went wrong and go back and do a better. You know. that's how. I learn which takes a long time. But you're probably going from a place of trusting your gut end. I really respect that. Idea of trusting your instinct. I was talking the other day about acting. Coach is and how am questioning my first initial idea that i sort of go down a spiral of self doubt so i understand that okay to whom which. You must like to apologize in why. This is a really tough question because immediately when you said that i knew exactly what the answer was then do i give her the real answer. Try to make one not clear. Whatever you prefer. It's a big one. Though doesn't her feelings are totally normal and human and its fight. And i'm a human being. I mean my mom. Probably i mean not probably my mom. She passed when. I was twenty seven and i did have like a lot of and a lot of anger towards her and probably the darkness that you referred to earlier in the time where we would have been around. Each other was very much in full effect. It was very hard on her. And i had so much anger but didn't know i was angry then and still now sometimes have difficult time processing my emotions in real time so that i just shut down because i don't know what else to do. Put her through a lot in a lot of punishing behavior and didn't have empathy for her and really wish that i had opportunity to recognize that sooner and to apologize to her because she had certainly apologized to me for all the things that i was angry about but i never really let her off the hook because i didn't even really understand until well after she was gone. She didn't have the perspective. That's really moving. That's really moving ho ho case moving onto question when or where are you happiest. I'm happiest with my partner and our house will then okay. What qualities do you look for. In a partner. Authenticity sense of humor. The ability to grow and evolve of that clear. Do you collect i do. I guess tiny staff is something that i've always collected but not actively fail so don't really publicize it because then all of a sudden everyone's giving you tiny staff and i do have one friend gives me tiny stuff often but she only gets out of. It's really special. And they don't want half lake five hundred thousand tiny things. Because i do have quite a few but i go through phases like i went through a phase of collecting globes and now we have too many lows and mike. What am i gonna do with all these slopes you now. That's my cycle of obsessively collecting something and then being burdened by the things that i've collected i so get that. Do you have a mundane activity that you do. That relaxes you. I like folding laundry in listening to podcasts. that's good. I like fully london to all right. Do you have a greatest regret. I mean probably this desolating to my mom. That's the only thing i really regret. There is also. I feel like i have a few regrets in the same category of not participating in something because i was like afraid of how someone else would feel about it when it was my own invention. Yeah are you an adrenaline secret. You get excitement out of an adrenaline rush. I feel like i have no adrenaline. I really under react to things. Like if i almost got into a car accident and like oh i will. That almost happened. But i rarely feel like a rush adrenaline. Do you have irrational fears. will sharks obviously. But i think it's perfectly rational the ocean but again i feel totally justified in fear of those things liquid about the ocean that it's like gigantic and powerful and there are so many things living in it that are designed to live in it and i'm not but i think those are rational. Irrational fears would be like being scared by vampires or something. Yeah or like flying. Or i mean. I'm not afraid of flying. I'm really claustrophobic. So i can elevator comecon. That is fine with me. But did you see that movie. What was it called. Was it the descent about the girls who go in the yes. And they're going through all the caves and stuff and squeeze on their bodies through like that is my nightmare. Yeah i'm with you on that all right if you were no longer acting or in the entertainment industry. How would you want to make a living by. Would want to be a chef. But i know that. I would have to start at the bottom level of the kitchen and then work your way up to it. That's what i would want to go do. Do you cook a lot. And you find comfort in it. Yeah i do. What do you like to make blazes my favorite thing to make. That sounds amazing. I think i'm great at it. I don't get enough praise in my household for it and that's fine. I still think it's good. I'll give you praise tasted better. It's amazing i don't know fish registered lake. I try to cook pretty healthy. But every so often i've gotten really good at making burgers. Which are my favorite food. So that's really satisfying and everyone here really likes it. So yes i like that. What was your first love like. It was very in a sense. And then i really turned into an asshole. I just turned into a monster. Do you mind talking about that or no. I mean i was a teenager. You know so. It was really just like thoughtless inconsiderate. Did you have more power in the relationship towards the end. Yeah but i think. I just got really all of these self. I just thought. I was like hot. Shit and i think it was also it was with a girl and so it was my first sort of foray into that. I think the beginning was very tentative and very that sort of like coming of age delicate beautiful that then as i sort of got more and more comfortable with being gay and then i also route. She was my prom date and going to my prom with a girl and then everyone else was like. oh leg. people started looking at me in this way and lake. Thought i was cooler. Some destroyed getting more attention from girls. And i think when girls started to like me. Just a jerk just like all this attention. I'm getting and like. I think i really didn't handle that very well. And then graduating high school and just meeting more queer people and getting attention from girls. Just i don't think it says a lot about your character that you can reflect upon that in recognized that you may have been hurtful. Oh i definitely was. Have you been in touch with this person now. No that's shows a lot of personal strength though that you can talk about or i love like that. Have you attended any of your high school reunions. No i've never even been invited. I don't even know how you get invited to one. I guess you have to be on a mailing list or something. But i'm not. Do you keep in touch with anybody from high school. There's one girl or woman. I guess we're women now because we're in our forties sort of in my orbit but we're not super close the i didn't keep in touch. There's one person that i keep in touch with but we developed our friendship after high school Hardly but that was like my serving time. I just wanted to plow through that. Yeah all right clear. Please forgive me. Because i have rarely answered these questions for myself. Okay so for. What historical figure would you start a fan club. I don't know if i'm smart enough to answer that question. I love that answer. Was there a book or tv. Show or anything from your childhood that affected the way you look at the world. It's funny because i feel so little connection to my childhood. I have a really hard time remembering in. I mean. I feel like at that time. In my life. I was most affected by music. People like courtney love or liz fair. Pj harvey who were these women who were not the sort like mainstream women that i was so used to seeing mike. I always felt so other. Not just because i was gay. But because i also was not traditionally feminine in the way that seemed to be so valued so it really complicated my relationship with even being you know a girl. 'cause i felt powerful as a female person but then on the other side of it was felt like i was being told that i was doing it wrong which only got worse when i started acting. But you know looking at women like that really kind of showed me that there are so many ways to be a woman and that femininity is not one thing and that i was okay in being me and also nancy mckeon on the facts of life gave that same feeling to joe was rad. Joe palma check. nancy began. Yeah she was awesome. Yeah okay what was your living arrangement like. When i lived on your own i lived with my girlfriend in an apartment building. Her grandparents owned in los angeles in los angeles. Yeah have you had any jobs. Outside of acting. I worked in an office where i did like filing an administrative work. I was a button picker. That was like this fashion company in the fashion designers. Whole thing's very late eighties early. Nineties saying the fashion designers whole thing was that they had different buttons like no two buttons were the same on all of their garments so i would sit in a room full of buttons and put buttons in an envelope based on like close where the sounds fun or was it one of those things that quickly become so mundane. It's very monday in. Especially when you're by yourself in a room eight hours a day and i mean i did that for a while and it was like over this one summer. The building that we worked in didn't have ceilings. So you could hear everything going on in the office. Receptionist would play k rock all day and it was the summer that under the bridge. Red hot chili peppers in came out and it would play a all day long. Yes i would just be by myself taking those buttons for like eight hours a day five days a week listening to that song and it really felt like and it's actually quite triggering for me. Yeah it's triggering for me to clear. But i didn't have to pick out buttons but there was like a five year period where it was just red hot chili peppers all the time all the time. Oh boy and they're great like the kids say no shade to them at all but it was like a weird sort of government. Experiment is what it felt like at a certain point where you just have to set alone in a room putting buttons in an envelope for eight hours listening to that one song is pretty bunkers and then i also worked at an italian restaurant fabs that i loves wait. What did you do there. I worked in the takeout window. Where sometimes people walk up but mainly it was taking phone orders for like deliveries and pickups. And i worked at buzz coffee on sunset that is now a starbucks. I loved that job so much and then like babysitting stuff. When i was little but i have my first job when i was like twelve years old so i worked a lot until i became an actor. I reflect on some of the more mundane jobs. I guess i've had and i think about how relaxing we're i mean. That sounds kind of fucked up. Not being a waitress that was not relaxing but in terms of the stress in this industry feels monumental. It feels massive. It feels so much bigger than the day. Yeah it feels like this fucking mountain that we continue to climb or have to hustle for whatever it is because it feels like the stakes are high. I was a receptionist for awhile man. I was so relaxed and happy. A really enjoyed. It a really liked the people i worked with. If i fucked up for the day it would be like transferring extension to us and it wasn't like oh i just blew out twenty thousand dollars shot. I mean what i liked about. All those jobs is actually the same thing. I like about making movies and tv shows the community. Like if you can find a job where you have a community where you're all working towards a common goal and it's about the people you know and that's what. I was really lucky to find an all those jobs. Also as part of the reason i loved working at the italian restaurant is because it was this family owned restaurant in even though one of the family members. Who for some reason hated me and would always yell at me and like fire me and then i would go to like the other family member and be like i really fired. He'd be like no. You're fine you know. It still felt like this community. And i think that's really rewarding. You know no matter what you're doing love that i want to ask you a little more about happiest season. How did you come up with a style or look of the film. We definitely had a plan going into it where we wanted us to establish our own visual language for the film. How did you guys define that early on. I made it was really trying to tell the story through our shot selection. You know where like kristan shows up in the outsider you know and how framing her with the blocking placing her more on the outside of what's happening you know. And then with like she. And mackenzie where they start off together in their issue other shots and then as the movie goes on their lake more and more separated. So it's like just thinking about that how we could in everything we're doing whether it was like shot selection or lake with a production designer. How can we always be telling this story. I really loved an. I cried that beautiful scene with dan. In kristen outside yeah it was incredibly moving and so beautifully delivered. I don't really have any questions about that scene. I just wanted to tell you that it was really beautiful. They did such an incredible job and beautiful dialogue. That you marry wrote who's also fabulous. She's awesome okay. What is the best or worst advice. You've ever been given the best advice that i've been given the first movie that is directed to just directed because i didn't want to originally you didn't i didn't want to direct it. Why not because. I was too scared to act and direct. So then how did you plow through. I hadn't experienced on a project. That was just so not great. And i had to take on a lot more than i normally do as an actor and i was able to do that and still do my job as an actor and it was also so hard in so many ways. I was well. If i can get through that i can do this. And what about the worst advice to stay closeted in my career really. Yeah somebody told you that. Oh yeah fuck. i'm naive. Not just one person at what age. And how did that affect you. I mean i feel like it was multiple times throughout my career by agents. Managers agents publicists. Just people i mean. Starting when i started. When did you come out. And any of the things you've feared come. True in terms of your relationship with the industry came out when i was sixteen but then in the industry probably in my early thirties. But it's not. Like i ever at the press conference or anything. I just started like going places with my partner allowing us to be photographed if that was happening organically ian not switching pronouns. When i was talking about my life i just stopped hiding and no nothing bad happened. nothing happened. Was the idea that you wouldn't be able to get heterosexual roles. I guess so. Yeah yeah that it would be the only thing about lee and that it would affect the kind of jobs that i got when an agent or manager publicist would tell your friends or whatever that must have been kind of a physical staying right and i think at the time i hadn't fully accepted that part of myself so it was almost like of course they're right. I need to hide this because it's bad it wasn't until i got a lot older that i was able to really grow to love that part of myself and see that it was nothing that i needed to be ashamed of our hide. Do you look back at those people with a bitterness. I really believe that everything happens in your life the way it needs to and gets you to the place that you are in this moment and a place right now in my life where i feel really just like my own self internally nothing to do with the outside where i feel calm i feel a piece. I feel really genuinely happy. And i don't know if i would be able to have the perspective to even know that what i was experiencing was happiness if i hadn't been in a place that wasn't that i think you have to experience good things and bad things. It's what you do with the bad things in how you allow it to propel you forward or hold you back. that's amazing. How would you like to be remembered as a good friend and a good partner. Love that clear. Thank you so much for doing this. Podcast today of course. And i loved your movie. Thank you so much. and congratulations. And you're amazing you. Also you know that. I created housebroken with gabby jet. Oh yeah fuck. I did know that. And you're so. I love your bunny so great so funny. It was really fun. Thanks things now. I love them. Yeah clear. I forgot that so glad you brought that up. I love doing voice work. You're so good at. Thanks entry. I thank you for your time and for your amazing movie. I really loved it. Thank you for watching it. Yeah it's so fucking good. I don't cry very frequently. And i also didn't want to lead with but it's a great movie it's a classic. It's a beautiful love story. Thank you so. Thank you clear. And i hope you but one rest of your day. You too bye unqualified qualified. Advice is brought to you by better help. If you think you may be depressed or you're feeling overwhelmed or anxious. Better help offers licensed professional therapists. Who are trained to listen and help. Better help counselors have expertise. In a broad range of areas including anxiety grief. Depression trauma relationship conflicts self esteem and more connect privately with your licensed counselor by textphone or video calls and get help on your own time at your own pace. And at an affordable rate everything. You share is confidential and know that you're not alone over. A million people have taken charge of their mental health with the support of better. Help counselors. I think everyone would agree that this past year has been overwhelming and we could all use help when we're feeling down so start by filling out a questionnaire to help assess your specific needs and get matched with your counselor in under forty eight hours better. Help is an affordable option in our listeners. Get ten percent off your first month with discount code farris so get started today at better. H e l p dot com slash f. a. r. i. s. talk to a therapist online and get health. Hey everyone world renowned clinical sexologist. Dr patty britain is back to share her knowledge and experience. So that i don't have to keep pretending. Like i have either of those things more info on dr. Patty and our other experts can be found on our website. Unqualified dot com. Hi dr patty. Hi we are going to call chris. Okay hello hi. Is this chris it is. I'm thrilled to be able to talk to you. This is ana in here with dr patty britain. She is a clinical sexologist. A sex educator and a sex coach. My gosh and it's so great to meet you. Chris thank you. Thanks for showing up thank you. It's so great to meet your growth to on two excited to be talking to you. All of my friends are very jealous and excited for chris. I just i already just love you. So much Will you tell us what's going on sure. So the little. Bit of a protracted background context. But i'll try to get through it as quickly as possible so before this year Before like early twenty twenty. I hadn't really been dating at all like my last relationship ended in late twenty seventeen and how long extended break from serious dating to like take care of them and i had like health stuff at the time that was sort of had tanked my self esteem and i wanted to take some time to rebuild it and then at the beginning of this year i was like in a good place. They had like a good permanent by was like feeling good about myself. Like a good social life going on. And i kinda wanted to like give dating another try. At the end of february. I decided to try dating out science. Hinge. 'cause i've never tried any of the apps before and went on a bunch of dat- basically like for the first couple of weeks. I had like four or five days in two weeks. And then lockdown happen. It's kind of a change. The whole situation and like everyone that i was talking to at the time most of them kind of stayed away. But i was trying to like. We didn't know at this time really long to expect that we would be unlocked lockdown. I i was kind of like still talking to some people and like still trying to talk to new people just on the off chance that i might get myself a lockdown boyfriend. Yeah yeah left down boyfriend eleven. Yeah in like. I wanna say the middle of march end of march started talking to this guy who we're gonna call bill. We had a couple of virtual dates which was nice. But i was kind of holding off on having a an in person because at the time i was kind of freaked out about meeting people in person. Put it off. I kind of kept putting off meeting him in person. And then i started talking to someone else who were going to call ted and immediately with him when you propose meeting up in person because eight. He'll coach by and just sort of sell much more immediately into have agreed right away. And so i was like i should probably meet up with bill now. I did so. I had a date with both of them in person. In the same week. I met with ted. We had wonderful perfect first date kind of thing. Got all those good feelings. You're supposed to get. And then i had to do with bill shortly afterward and it was very nice and pleasant. Here's a really nice guy. But i didn't really feel anything beyond maybe being friends with him so i told him up front that that's how i felt and we just sort of agreed to be friends and then i went on to date ted and everything seemed to be going really well with him. Send a lot of time together. We had a bunch of the united states. I was beating his friends. I went with birthday party and like everything seemed to be headed in the right direction. And then all of a sudden he just abruptly pulled the plug which it was only about two months at that point but it was surprisingly devastating. Yeah so really. Like pulled the rug out from under me and i spent quite a while feeling crappy about it. And then sort of around the same time build resurfaced and texted me and he was like hey were you hundred wanting to be friends if so we hang out so we hung out got like romcom drunk and had sex and then in the morning we were like well. We're not seeing anybody else right now or do we want to make meeting up regular saying so. We've been meeting literally every weekend since we sort of all trade host like 'cause the current lockdown rules are. You can only have a visitor if you live alone both live alone for the only people that were each legally allowed theaters each other. So we Like that who department and we're still hanging out and we have a really nice time. He's super nice. The good dude feel like at this point. I should have feelings for him. But i don't so my question basically is like this heading for disaster. Also m i a crazy person for not having feelings for how the it sounds like. He has stronger feelings for you than you do for him. I think so. It's come up like when we agreed to start like meeting up regularly. I was again trying to be responsive humanly possible and like. I wanna be clear that i don't think i have romantic feelings for you and that i don't think i'm going to is that a problem and he said north wasn't and we've had a couple of check ins since and continues to seem to be okay and at this point i feel like i know him well enough to know that he would be honest about it if it were a problem but i don't know if that's a safe assumption to make about anybody and then do you find yourself comparing ted to bill. A lot are like yeah. I'd like. I'm really trying my best to not compare them like every time i find myself doing it at like i remind myself that it's unfair but it's so hard within the current context 'cause like i don't have any anyone else to compare either of them too because dating right now is more or less impossible moving on with very difficult because there's like radio. I was furloughed from my jobs. I've got all day to do nothing and obsess over crafts. Whatever the chest cured after getting dumped where i was like how. What am i supposed to do with all these feelings. Every time you enjoy your time with bill right yeah great. He's really nice. she's funny we have time. We have similar interests. There's not a lot that we're really not able to do right. Now is the fact that we both like just kind of relaxing and watching movies and cooking is good and we've had serious conversations about things we've done. I guess like kinda fairly coupley stuff. But i don't consider it to be a dating relationship. Dr patty can. I ask chris how frequently get child. Sorry japan can i ask. Kris humphry has sex with bill. So we meet up every weekend and we have sex like two or three times a weekend. Are you worried about breaking bills heart. I'm very worried about him getting hurt. Yes like anything that i might do. Terrifies me okay. So chris i gotta jump in the water with you. Let's go first of all. What i hear is that there's a story that you're telling yourself about how things should be. That's what i hear. Maybe explain looking dive in a little deeper. So what i mean is that you're telling yourself a story about two things one is. I'm responsible for my partner's feelings. Here's your partner. Because he's the only person that i hear you're spending your weekends with and that you're sexing with my right about that. You are correct. So if you don't feel those quote in love feelings your partner you care about him and also many of us who are living in cova who are not in long term committed monogamous relationships have different views about being with our humans myself included. Because we're living in a bizarre world with lockdown and limitation and sometimes there are people who come into our lives who may not fit the picture of what we thought we wanted or how it should be. What i hear is that it's working isn't it. Yeah it is working right now and i. It's just like kind of freaked me out. I guess a little bit but it's not so much that it's working at a frequent that it's working. It's actually very comforting. Okay that it's working. It just like what i what i think what. I'm really concerned about that. The longer it keeps working is that. I'm worried that his feelings are just going to continue to develop if he has them. I imagine that if you actually cracked this open and you brought this up seriously and really put your attention on it together. What might happen is it might threaten the relationship am i right. Yeah for sure like the last time but it kind of came up. He was very clear about being like we don't need to talk about this unless it becomes a problem so like i'm not really like trying to have this conversation with them. Even though i have this concern these worry. Because i'm worried it's just gonna put him on the spot and make him feel bad Yeah and it would potentially strengthen this thing which is very comforting and nice. You know it's very difficult being alone in this time of cova da and locked down. Where dating in real life going outside of the virtual world is is almost prohibitive. Right in montreal in are very bad here yet. Our lockdown restrictions are quite strict. So i don't really get to see very many people ever. So what if you were to look at this as right here right now and stop worrying about tomorrow patty. That feels impossible. That's being day and has that's part of what i'm calling the story that you're telling yourself is that i should be able to predict and control the ending of this. I should be able to predict and control my partner's feelings and my feeling and so there's a piece about this. That is really a story. I'm using that with big air quotes around it. These are not normal times right and only california. We're in lockdown. They've closed everything. It's the same situation except that you have the ability to and if you're i can't believe the loss you have the ability if you're single the have somebody come over as like. Wow really know how to legislate. They're very specific provisions in the law. I'm blown away well not alone. You're allowed. You're allowed a visitor as long as i also lived alone. It's like the canadian. Government is trying to protect the population from loneliness. Something really romantic about that. The other pandemic canada to suit a few like pretty pretty funny about sex during co visit. The other thing. I wanna talk to you about is what do you think in love feelings are about. That's a great question isn't it. Tried probably different for everybody stink. But i don't know the times in my life. I have been in love with someone. It's like kind of a combination of stealing a little bit like you're on fire but in a good way and also like when you are around the person that's sort of like coming home at the end of a long day there's something very like comforting and familiar. Not necessarily that. You've been there before. But i don't know it's just like safe comfortable kind of familiar. The thing that sort of missing. I think with my time with bill. There's like it's not devoid of passion sex very good okay. I don't feel ron to build to be near him in a way. I don't know how to articulate this. Well maybe it's hard to talk about. Because it doesn't have a lot of easy language. So i wish i were sitting and looking at you because what i would say to you kind of like with this march five. Is maybe this expectation of that. Passionate in. Loveness is what happens in that kind of fleeting beginning of a relationship. We have a term for it. Actually called laments l. i. m. e. r. n. c. is kind of a. It's a little bit like infatuation eggs and guess what happens. It goes a way. Yeah it it does but in the context of like the relationships. I've had in the past where it was like a long term relationship with them that i was involved with like even after a year or two years of being with that person that initially honeymoon phase feeling obviously goes away. But there's still the current of like like when you're party from the person you miss them in a way that's really specific in particular and like when you're with the person you feel drawn to them in a way that's very specific and particular not in the same. I miss my mom or that. I miss my friends like a very specific kind of longing. Yes i get it yeah. I don't i just wonder whether you're looking for a kind of set of feelings. You don't have with bill yet. You have something else with him. That feels more like a mature. Love is weird because many people are going through what you're going through so this such an important conversation and i i love that you're willing to share it so authentically because it's not easy a little bit. It's gone through my head a couple of times that i'm not that like asking myself like or do you just have this like maybe slightly youthful and naive vision of love. And that's the thing that you have right now. Is maybe what it feels like to be in love that thirty one. But i feel like i don't know if i'm having i've been having this conversation with myself and this level of doubt and this feeling of like if i accept this it will sort of feel like i've settled for something that isn't actually what i'm visiting my always going to think that it's not going to like undercut the relationship if it became a relationship like where do you go from having this feeling like this is a really what it feels like when i've been loved I understand and maybe it just needs more time. Maybe you know it could morph into something where those feelings emerge because in some ways. There's this kind of odd situation going on. Which is that. you can't leave because you would. You would have to choose between this or nothing is what you've of set up right. Yeah i mean. I have started talking to other people over the past few months. Never anything goes anywhere. Obviously because i don't think people right now are really good on the follow through. Because it's so hard to even think about meeting up with somebody i guess and i don't think my heart was really ended anyway but i'm sort of at this point where i'm like if i let's say i do meet somebody somehow and i get those feelings but i'm looking for. Yeah like what. Do i do with that kind of all feeling trapped right now if bill at times makes you feel confined or whatever because we're all feeling that and trying to figure out how to not feel that way. Sometimes it especially right. Now chris to win you spend time with bill. It's at your homes. So there is that intense intimacy as well. It's like you know. I'm sure when you guys are together. Maybe now there's a feeling of like you're almost kind of living together yard having part time roommate ray. So had you been in a lot of long-term. Mike had you ever lived with a partner before. I have never lived with a partner had two other long-term relationships at the they were a while ago. At this point i guess was well. The last two of them attend ended in two thousand seventeen okay and then and then you took a break before all of this as well so this is where our personalities differ. You and i chris. I only here here here. Otherwise right tentacle. I haven't been single since. I was sixteen. Oh i yeah so anyway. I came out when i was pretty young. I came out when i was fifteen. I didn't have a long term relationship until i was twenty twenty one And then after that relationship ended i saw like a two almost three again and then the last relationship that i had rescinded in two thousand seventeen again i took a long break after it because the thing i know about myself so very good on my own and i tend to take some time or feel like i need time i felt i would after a relationship very invested in them and i tend to take a long time to extricate myself from them. Yes so maybe. This is also part of that too. Be near cautiousness makes you analyze. Maybe their normal things that bill does that annoys you about like. I don't loading a dishwasher. Whatever whatever the normal things are you know the things that we all adjust to as we are in each other spaces and it is interesting because you kind of are at the earlier stages with in a relationship with bill and yet you're only really been four or five months right and yet you guys are like in each other's homes you know where things go you know in his laser he knows where things go in your space and so is like there aren't the sort of the normal testing of waters of the minor daily things in life. I think you need to just let it roll for a while. I really do yeah. Yeah i'm always worried that i'm being irresponsible by just letting something continue. I still have this thought in my head that i could end badly. But that's just sort of being overly anxious. It's all going to end. Pedley chris everything. I'm sorry that's the conclusion we've come to. I have another question for you. Are you worried that this is a rebound reaction. To ted's dropping you foley. Yes yeah one hundred percent. I am worried that's happening. Like did i take that rejection and just kind of projected onto somebody else. Yeah make myself feel better. I don't think so at this point. I'm like if it had just been. A rebound i feel like i probably would have detached right now. But i don't know. I've never had a rebound relationship before so i go with those are like i said dr patties right. I think that you guys are giving each other companionship. And friendship and Sex in san staring. Yes this time. And i love it that you are sensitive to bills feelings and i think you should continue to be. I do think that dr patties right that for right now. If you are happy. I do think right it out as well i do feel like there is a conversation perhaps with bill to be had but it my totally wrong dr patty. I think you have to be very careful because you have something to cherish in this and it's it's patterned really likes bill. I can tell ya. I can tell. Do you think it's not so much about liking bill. It's liking that this relationship serves both of you yeah. I'm always worried about being selfish. That i'm always sort of thinking. Well what is he possibly getting out of this. And i have to remind myself that like clearly. He's enjoying himself to or he wouldn't wanna continue it but it's like it's very easy for me to feel like oh no. I'm taking advantage of him being nice. I'm not no i'm not. I'm just afraid. I'm so afraid of taking advantage of someone's kindness. 'cause he's very nice. It was very kind. You need to have a chat with yourself and take yourself off the hook. It's interesting. I just feel that you're being really hard on yourself. This is about lightning up giving yourself permission to enjoy what you have and really having gratitude for let it be stop worrying about. It stopped going into what's going to happen what's going to happen. What if this. What if that get out of the what if mode and start filling your head with other kinds of thoughts. Are you not working right now. Is that part of it. Yeah that is definitely part of it. I was furloughed in april and then they finally had to terminate by physician in mid-november. Like i thought there was a job to go back to and then all of a sudden. They're muslims now. I'm on the job. Okay okay so maybe creating a project for yourself where your head goes so that your mind has something right yeah repainting my apartment and then purging most of my possessions and trying to go through all the stuff to do. Yeah i mean you're very intelligent and you're very sensitive so you have so many gifts and it must be so hard not to be able to share those in the context of work so having a project where you can put your mind to it whether it's painting and purging or maybe it's deciding gonna take a course online or reading five books in the next five months in whatever it is so that your head gets out of the spinning top of thinking about the relationship. Should i leave this. Does this for me is as good for him. This isn't how. I wanna feel you hear what i'm saying. Yeah i do for sure i know. I know you're in a good place right now. Just allow that. I've had this thing in the past to where i'm not as attracted to people who are really kind to me and it's a quality that i don't like about myself. I don't know if like that at all not as an adult. I definitely had that in me when i was younger but like i only like being around people who were kind and nice like i hate being around people who are mean. And i don't tell people being outwardly mean to me. Because i'm way to sensitive for it. I start crying so yeah. I don't like being around people who aren't nice to me so like i don't think that's the problem chris it's friday. Are you going to spend the weekend together this weekend. I'm headed to more or less. You sit as i hang up okay. Great i don't know why i wanted you to make him a little gift of some kind or something that interest and brought in baked goods last time. That's sweet. i don't know. I think if you guys are enjoying the time together right now i would try to resist the temptation to future is about what what it looks like in four months because we don't know where we'll be dodger patty. Do you think that's pretty good advice attempting to not define the future right now. Absolutely get out of that thought. It's like a bad rabbit hole. You're going down so stay out of that and also just give yourself permission to enjoy. What is the curb. It's okay to just enjoy what's going on. Yeah and bill. Sounds like a really wonderful person and he probably and you. You mentioned that you were open with him and he probably picks up on some of this stuff so if in six months seven months were all vaccinated and there's a semblance of normalcy god. It feels like. I can't even believe i'm saying these things. Maybe that's a better time to evaluate if you guys aren't together in a year hopefully there's a wonderful friendship that is developed out of it will tell bill we said hello and i hope you have a wonderful. We hope we helped i. I don't know if we came to anything definitive. No you did like looking for like external approval commissioner affiliate commission. I can't really give my or have been struggling with giving myself right just like enjoy it because it's not a bad thing and questioning good things kind of the way you turn them into bad things. I think that the advice you give is really useful. You deserve this. Both of you deserve it suggests. Enjoy it okay okay. I'll do my best care sweetheart. Pick like i think we're probably gonna watch love actually and make fun of it. Oh my god. I knew we had a lot in common. I hate that movie. But i do love to make fun of it so much and then i cry every time and i get furious with myself walking sinisterly manufactured to make you do that like it's like so specifically crafted to make you have that response his walk evil schlock judge a person on their love or hatred of that movie. Isn't that terrible hatred. Actually for wrong comes to. I loved the worst as trashy as they can possibly be. I just loved him that much more. Because it's just it's so easy to turn your brain off and just like thinking do it chris. We did see a good one We just Talked with clear. Do volvo. I love clear to gaul and check out her christmas movie. It's called happiest season in. It's great. I've been seeing previews for it and i was pretty excited about it because i really liked her and everyone. Who's in it. Yeah we we really really enjoyed it and thank you so much for sharing this stuff. We've been getting a lotta letters about people going through similar issues with new relationships during this time and people will benefit from hearing your story. Chris will you please be in touch. I love you. Thank you again. By chris by dr patty. Thank you again for doing this today. Thank you for by.

los angeles Dr patty britain margie mackenzie aubrey alison Samuels Soga Margie kentucky bourbon hall of fame mary steenburgen temple hill duval jonathan mccoy allison janney hbo Satya Kristen bennett allison
Ignorance among our nations leaders is not a lonely condition

MSNBC Rachel Maddow (audio)

47:13 min | 9 months ago

Ignorance among our nations leaders is not a lonely condition

"With everyone staying home right now. Making our homes more comfortable has become a priority. I've been meaning to change up some things at my apartment and the first place I started was with our sponsor lamps plus lamps plus dot com offers exclusive styles and lighting and home furnishings to brighten your home and transform it into a more comfortable space from exclusive designs. You won't find anywhere else to trusted brands including Minka Minka. By the way is known for decorative pieces that blend function and style using innovative materials. Their stuff is really beautiful. Lamps plus makes it easy to complete the look you want? I sorta brushed nickel floor lamp. The price was right. And I know it's GonNa look amazing in my place. Lamps plus is offering up to fifty percent off hundreds of lights furniture and decor from now until May twenty fifth. That's up to fifty percent off during the lamps plus home furnishings sale at lamps. P L U S DOT com slash. Nbc Start Saving Right now at lamps. Plus DOT COM SLASH NBC. The meadow show weeknights at nine eastern on MSNBC. Thanks for joining bizarre. I am really happy to have you with us on this Friday night. We've got a great show for you. I would like to introduce you at the starts to Manny cady He's an Er nurse. Works in southern. California over fourth one of the week not too bad saw foul number today one of the patients ask me so do sale hotel to go home told him no. I don't go home. I say somewhere else. My daughter Autoimmune disorder so. I tried to protect her as much as I can Then this must be tough. You don't see your family for a while. Thoughts myself could be worse. Could be situation where I don't go at all ever so Lord. I'm so now the time to toughen up everybody. We have to fight the fight a win. Continue to file alongside with my fellow nurses and doctors and RT's and environmental service people. Everybody in the hospital we will win. That is Manny Coty. His an emergency medicine nurse working in southern California. Here's Dr Rishi Rutan. He's a trauma surgeon. He works to save the lives of covert nineteen patients. Now in south Florida. One of the things that keeps coming up is an analogy the AIDS epidemic in the early nineteen eighties. This was before we fully understood the disease. We fully understood the transmission risks. And when there were no medicines that could treat HIV if you look at the past forty years treatment of HIV only about fifty healthcare workers in the United States have contracted HIV on the job. But if you look at the last. Few months of the corona virus epidemic in the United States over ninety two hundred healthcare workers have contracted corona virus. Some of them have died in one of the earliest weeks of the epidemic. Here in south Florida one of my close colleagues who I worked with side by side for six years died from Corona virus. Just last week I had a colleague. We shared patients every once in a while. He also died of Corona virus before he could get any meaningful treatment. The fear that permeates our day to day work knowing that we've lost colleagues already seeing our colleagues on full life support in the ICU. And wondering if we're going to be next looking around at our teams and wondering who's not GonNa make it through. This is sometimes overwhelming. We try really hard to focus at work because we don't have the time to process that but at the end of the shift when we peel off our P P peel off the mask and go home to wash our hands and shower. You can't help but think about WHO's next. Is it my friend who just signed out to to take over? My shift is going to be me the way. This pandemic is infecting and killing. Us healthcare workers hasn't really been seen in our lifetime and it's very scary reshow retain in south Florida as the corona virus death toll in the United States past fifty thousand today. The numbers fifty one thousand five hundred twenty three Americans who have now been killed by this virus and not much more than a month. The doctors and nurses who are treating corona fires patients in American Hospitals Coast. To coast are of course themselves putting their lives on the line to do this work to try to keep their fellow. Americans a lot and their own fear of getting infected while they do this work to save. The rest of us is very humbling. For US civilians. It inspires something. I don't even more than just gratitude. I'm not even quite sure how to describe it but I can't show you something I can show you that you are among fellow. Americans who feel that same way the Americans who have had a stay at home order in place longer than anyone else in the country are Californians. They had the I stay at home order right. So they've been under this for the longest that state of course has also benefited from that? Stay at home order. And the fact that it was put into place early that has resulted in California having a much flatter curve much less of a peak in their epidemic than other states have had still though a new poll today of California residents finds that vast majority of people in that state want their stay at home order to remain in place as long as needed to fight this epidemic quote support for sheltering in place was strong across all demographic groups more than seventy percent in each age income and racial and ethnic group support continuation of the shelter in place policy overall. The support for California's continued stay at home. Order as long as needed is seventy five percent of the public and it's every strata of that population and it's not just California. Abc News has just released the results of their new nationwide poll asking the same question across the country. Here's the results quote overwhelming majorities of Americans favor restrictions related to containing the corona virus and fear moving quickly to reopen. The economy. Concerns that breakthrough party lines in this week's poll. The proportion of Americans who believe moving too quickly to loosen the stay at home mortars is a greater threat to the country then moving too slowly is seventy two percent the proportion of Americans who believe social distancing and stay at home orders are responsible policies. That proportion is eighty six percent. And honestly it's not like this is a controversial thing or even partisan even among Republicans eighty two percent of Republican voters. Nationwide say that social distancing and stay at home. Orders are responsible lifesaving actions because Americans get it. Americans understand this broadly speaking and Americans broadly speaking want to do the right thing and not incidentally they are by and large something even more than grateful toward the doctors and nurses and other healthcare workers who these stay at home orders designed to protect right so we don't have too many infections at once so we do not overwhelm our hospitals so that they can do their work. The last couple of Friday nights here on the show we checked in with Dr Ernest. Patty who is in our duck at Saint Barnabas Hospital in the Bronx which has been an incredibly hard hit facility. We've talked to him the last couple of Friday nights while it's Friday night again tonight. He sent some pictures. He sent us a picture of a bunch of Origami hearts that kids in Texas sent to him in the Er at St Barnabus to say thank you for what you're doing you can see one has a little note on it. Here's Dr Patty and his colleagues at the St Barnabus Emergency Room. Being very happy to have them. You see how they're are holding them. I love this picture and look at this. This is fascinating one of the things. We have noticed with Dr Patty when he has sent us his sort of check in videos from his shift in the ER at Saint. Barnabus is that he's worried. His patients can't connect with him can't see his face because the mask and the shield he has to wear. So we've noticed you see on his. On his sort of worst lapel would be if he was wearing a suit. It's backwards there because that's the way it's shot but you can say he's got his name we know. He drew his name and a little smiley face on his name tag. So even if his patients can't really face they're all that gear. They can at least see that. It's very sweet human touch that we noticed about Dr Patty in these videos. Well Dr. Patty says that someone else in the world was also struck by that and they decided to come up with a solution to the problem that he's trying to fix here they printed a picture of Dr Patties actual smiling face on a sticker. It's kind of size of a baseball card and can peel the back off that sticker and stick it onto the outside of his. Pp Tivat suit so his patients who really can't see his face because of all the gear they can at least see a smiling picture of what his face looks like that way when he's talking to them because he's got pasted on the front of his gear. Male people are just sending this stuff to doctors who are working on the Front Lines. Because there's so much support for them. Among the American people and Americans buy huge bipartisan. Majorities support the stay at home orders which we know do work to slow the spread of the disease which is the one most important thing we can all do collectively to save our health system and our doctors and our nurses not to mention ourselves and our families. So you're among good company in terms of the feelings that you've got for American healthcare workers right now and the vast majority of Americans supporting these stay at home order. The responsible thing to do but nevertheless some Republican governors are demanding that their states be open. Backup right now. We're going to get a live report tonight. From Georgia from the chief of emergency medicine at the First Hospital Georgia that hit capacity and basically overflowed because of the huge numbers that they were seeing in that part of the state already. Georgia has got a real epidemic on attends. They've got more than twenty. Two thousand known cases of the virus in that state and the numbers are going up in Georgia not down. This was a helpful. Data visualization on Georgia from the New York Times. Today this was Georgia's new corona virus cases per capita six weeks ago. You see the map of Georgia. It's divided county by county there so six weeks ago. This was Georgia's new cases. Four weeks ago Georgia's new cases two weeks ago and this was Georgia's new cases as of two days ago. This is not the portrait of a state that has lick this thing and is is ready to move on and get better now but I should mention that even those bad Georgia case numbers are likely a wild undercount because Georgia is among the worst states in the nation in terms of the proportion of their population that they've had tested for the virus. They've only tested maximum about one percent of their population. I mean not a sledge hammer this point home or anything but look also at the kinds of facilities in which we the American people have had the worst track record so far in terms of keeping Americans safe keeping them from being infected keeping them from dying. Look at those facilities in Georgia. Georgia is very rich in those facilities. We got this map today. From the data visualization folks at Topaz showing red dots all over the country indicating prisons or jails where there are known to be corona virus outbreaks. Now the bigger the dot the bigger the size of the known outbreak but honestly part of the problem in jails and prisons is well. There's not very much testing and most of them but be once you've got it in there. It's proving very very very difficult to keep the rest of the people who live in that facility and work in that facility from getting infected as well so even small outbreaks in jails and prisons tend to become big outbreaks very fast and they're then prime vector for spreading the infection to the surrounding community staff from jail or prison. Go home to their families at the end of every shift. So it's kind of on this map kind of remarkable to see the the spread even with terrible access to testing just the the spread of of of of prisons in jail cases across the country. But just look for a second at Georgia look. At how many of these red dot jail and prison outbreaks there are specifically in the state of Georgia and again Georgia. Today is opening back up because that state's Republican governor has decided. I guess he just doesn't want to deal with this anymore. Who's GONNA pretend like it's fine as for other facilities where we have been having a really hard time? As a country keeping people uninfected keeping people alive the top two nominees besides jails and prisons would be nursing homes and meat processing plants of all places right but it makes sense and we're seeing all over the country it's places where workers work in large numbers in close contact in aggregate and those places have been kept going kept going. They've been kept running kept open even whether stay at home orders. Those plants are open. So those are the places where we've really seen a hard time getting our hands around this epidemic. Well it terms of nursing homes Georgia already says that forty percent of its deaths from corona virus in the state of Georgia are in nursing homes. So that means the epidemic is already raging through Georgia nursing homes nursing. Homes are already responsible for the deaths of hundreds of Americans now look at meat. Packing plants. Georgia is tied with and Texas basically for the largest number of meat processing facilities of any state Georgia calls itself the poultry capital of the world. They've already had multiple meatpacking workers in die even as they've kept these plants open and there seems to be no strong urgency to get the rest of the workers in these facilities tested. I should also mention just for good measure just so you know the state of Georgia also has a nuclear power plant where one hundred eighteen workers have tested positive as well no worries. I'm sure that's fine too but I mean you add all this up. There's the nuclear power. Plant thing probably. That's no big deal. Maybe also tons of meat packing plants with known of the virus and deaths already an out of control situation in the states nursing homes the hospital system in one corner of the state already over topped cases rising in every county in the state and some of the worst testing in America. So that's the state that's open and everything backup and where you can get tattoos again as of today. Go Georgia. We are going to pay so much attention to the fringe. Pro-trump opened back up protests. I think we should also note the protests like this one today against Georgia Governor Brian Camp. Opening that state backup. You can see signs hair. Your life is what is essential. Keep your family safe at home. Keep your family healthy stay home. Stay home. It's time to reopen. Believe in science not count life over money science matters but you know what despite the fact that Americans by and large do get it and do understand what it's going to take to fight this pandemic and try to save American lives. It turns out that ignorance among our nation's leaders is not a lonely condition. This will today go down in history as the day that everybody from the LYSOL company to the US surgeon. General had to try to figure out the responsible way to deal with the fact that the president of the United States suggested in all seriousness from the White House briefing room that maybe people should try to ingest disinfectants of some kind. Or maybe light some kind of light that you could get inside the body because that could work right and this will also go down in the record books as the day. The vice president said that the corona virus epidemic would be well and truly behind us by Memorial Day weekend. It'll all be over by then. Okay this will also be remembered in the medical journals as the day the Food and Drug Administration the FDA had to put out an actual warning about the dangers of an unproven drug that the president and the Fox News Channel have insistently repeatedly inexplicably touted as some kind of Miracle Cure for weeks on end. I mean ignorance is not a lonely status at the top right now but do you remember. Do you remember at the beginning of this month more than three weeks ago now. The general sort of shock and astonishment when Georgia Governor Brian. Kemp GOT UP IN APRIL IN APRIL. Twenty twenty the year of our Lord and he said into a microphone in public but he had just learned he had just learned that day. That people who don't have symptoms can still be infectious with this disease. Hold the phone. He had no idea before then. Individuals can be infected and begin to spread corona virus earlier than previously thought even if they have no symptoms from a public health standpoint. This is a revelation and a game. Changer A re revelation a game changer. Right cue the national laugh. Track as Georgia's governor announces that he has just learn something that everybody else has known for months that has been driving the public health response in the richest nation on earth to the deadliest pandemic and essentially surprise. Newsday him right. That was April first when he said that it was astonishing but it turns out Georgia governor. Brian Kemp was actually ahead of the curve on that because it wasn't until seventeen days after that that the trump administration's secretary of defense announced that he too had just learned that same fact himself he had just learned it that very day. What we found of the six hundred or so that have been infected. What's disconcerting is a majority of those three hundred and fifty plus our ase symptomatic so it's it has revealed a new dynamic of this virus that can be carried by normal healthy people who have no idea whatsoever that they're carrying it so we're learning a lesson. They're making sure that we we communicate to a broader force. We're learning a lesson there. Yeah YEAH TURNS OUT. A new dynamic of this virus. We've just discovered turns out people ace dramatic and they still have this thing. We just learned that and then I love that we've finished by saying now. Listen we're letting everybody in the navy notice because we're pretty sure nobody else had any idea about this so we'd better alert everyone. We've newly discovered that was less than a week ago. That the defense secretary said that he's just figuring it out. Which is you know disconcerting. Given that that is the person who president trump has put in charge of running the largest military on earth. It's also disconcerting. When the whole reason it came up with Secretary Asper is because there really has been an outbreak of more than eight hundred fifty corona virus cases among US Navy sailors on board one nuclear powered aircraft carrier. And we're today another deployed. Us Navy vessel a deployed vessel destroyer called the USS Kid emerged as the site of another outbreak at sea with eighteen sailors tested positive so far commanding officer of the aircraft carrier with that giant outbreak. Captain Brett Crozier was of course fired by trump's navy secretary after he raised the alarm about the burgeoning outbreak on his ship and the need to test and treat his sailors. The Navy secretary himself has since resigned in disgrace for having taken that action today. The New York Times reported that a navy review of Captain Crozier's performance recommended reinstating him as captain of the US Theodore Roosevelt Trump. Defense Secretary Mark Asper was expected to announce Captain Crozier's fate this afternoon after he received the recommendation of that report but then he decided not to Washington Post first a report that the decision on Crozier state has now been apparently delayed deferred for some reason presumably because they figure out some new revelation that they can blame their actions on or some way to try to make this something. The president likes who knows. Meanwhile our nation's veterans continued to suffer almost unimaginable death tolls from this virus. The death poll in these soldiers home in Holyoke Massachusetts in western Massachusetts is now up to seventy three seventy three veterans dead at that one facility on Long Island in New York at the Long Island State veterans home which is in Stony Brook New York. The death toll among veterans there at that one facility is now forty six hundred forty six out of a total of three hundred fifty veterans facility management. They are actually set out an urgent plea to the public this past week for help getting people to their staff. They're just asking anybody in the community to please help them. Forty-six dead already in Louisiana at the veteran's home in reserve Louisiana one hundred and fifty veterans. There are at that home at the start of the epidemic. But they've had forty three deaths over the past two months today the Times Picayune reports that there are ninety one veterans left at that home plus five who are fighting for their lives in the hospital right now today. That home announced the results of testing all the remaining vets. Were still there. And it turns out that half of them are positive almost feels like a miracle that they're not all positive which the hardest places to fight. This thing are the that you have to fight the hardest and coming up next tonight. We've got a constructive practical instructive story about how to do that. And how to do it really well and that's next from fx on Hulu comes Mrs America. The highly anticipated drama that explores the dawn of the nineteen seventies. Women's rights movement tune in as we explore the story of the equal rights amendments ratification and the unexpected backlash led by. Phyllis schlafly that forever shifted the political landscape starring an award winning cast including Cate Blanchett. Sarah Paulson Ouzo Deuba and Elizabeth Banks. Mrs America New Episodes Wednesdays exclusively on fx on Hulu visit who dot Com for more. Hey everyone it's tha mainly MSNBC correspondent and host of the podcast into America Corona viruses infecting and killing black Americans at a disproportionately high rate. A big reason for that air quality industries killing us on top of that the corona virus killing us so we have double whammy in our latest episode going into a stretch of Louisiana along the Mississippi River were. Many black residents have been suffering from emissions related cancer asthma and other health conditions for decades. We'll find out what one pollute county reveals about the race gap in this pandemic. That's an economic injustice and environmental injustice racial injustice. And then when you add health overlaid on top of the house injustice subscribe for Free. Wherever you get your podcast. At the end of last month to home residents in Los Angeles who had just been discharged from the hospital began showing corona virus symptoms so their Nursing Home Briar Oak on sunset isolated those two residents and tested them and when their test came back positive. Briar Oak decided that they were going to test all the staff in their facility. Who had been in contact with those two residence? Even though none of the staff were showing symptoms. Even though none of the staffers showing symptoms fifteen of those staff tests came back positive according to Briar Oaks. Director of clinical operations quote with that number of positives. Now you have to be concerned about the possible exposure of everybody. The problem of course is that Barak couldn't test everybody. Despite being the place where the most Americans are dying from Corona virus nursing homes have largely been on their own as individual facilities in terms of trying to get a hold of tests for their residents and their staff so pretty much. No one at any facility anywhere. could test everybody but some nursing home leaders in L. A. Were trying and it turns out that was larger long term care facility the Los Angeles Jewish home that had managed to get itself. Several hundred corona virus tests From the city and the Jewish home agreed that they would give this other facility broke enough tests to screen all their residents and all of their staff which was a stand up thing for them to do and Briar was able to do all that testing. What they found will curl your hair. Seventy five percent of the residents had the virus. Ninety percent of the staff had it as well which meant that. Briar oak immediately became possibly the worst outbreak in the entire state of California as of today seventy seven residents and seventy staff at Briar Oak. Have tested positive for the virus. Three of their residents have died but the key here is that this one nursing home appears right appears to have this extra terrible significantly worse outbreak than other facilities. But maybe that's because they're the only one that tested everybody right and the only reason they were able to test anybody is because of this sort of accidental circumstance in which they got this incredibly neighborly help from a nearby facility maybe every nursing home had universal testing we would discover that lots and lots of places are as bad as Briar Oak and we could get them resources to try to deal with their problems. We at least be able to see the scale of the problem. That clearly needs to be tackled in these facilities where the most. Americans are the most at risk of death. Well this week the Los Angeles County Health Director announced that nursing homes are now being advised test all residents and all staff. The county announced that they had given this previous guidance. That only people who had symptoms should be tested. The county to their credit announced that that previous guidance was a mistake. The health director said bluntly in public quote. We were wrong and now regardless of symptoms. Everybody should be tested in every nursing home in Long Term Care Facility while the Los Angeles Jewish home the facility that got those hundreds of tests from the city and then gave some of those tests to this other facility Briar Oak. That had this problem so they could so they could figure out what was going on in their facility and so we could all see what it looks like when a nursing home test everybody the l a Jewish home medical directors man named Dr Michael Wasserman. Dr Wasserman is also the President of the California Association of Long Term Care Medicine which represents doctors nurses and others working in long term care facilities expanded. Testing is is one of several measures that he's been advocating for it to try to better protect these facilities and their residents and their workers now that La County is going to try to do universal testing in its nursing homes Dr Wasserman told the L. A. Times this quote. We expect to see the number of cases that reported to skyrocket and we expect to see the number of deaths that get reported to skyrocket joining us. Now is Dr Michael Wasserman. He's president of the California Association of Long-term Care Medicine so the medical director of the of Isenburg village the Law Long Los Angeles Jewish doctor. Wasserman thank you so much for for being with US tonight. You've been in the middle of such an interesting and important circumstance. Thanks for taking time to talk to us. Thank you so much Rachel you you've actually said it better than I can to be honest with you. This is such an important issue right now. One thing I do want to let people know. An outbreak has no reflection on the quality of the nursing home. It's what you do about. It matters and nursing homes across the country cannot be afraid to test that is is. It's really critical. I will underscore that by saying as I have been reading far and wide and you really have to read local news reports in order to get a handle on this because there isn't national federal reporting on these things yet I will. There are certainly circumstances in which there's been large outbreaks and facilities people in the community. Say Oh that was never a well run facility and there were earlier complaints but there have been large outbreaks in some facilities that are described as the absolute gold standard places where. There's been no complaints where people see it as the best facility in the area. There doesn't really seem to be any way of escaping. That's in these facilities just for being a well organized. Well administered place. I would hope that that would lead to a loss of defensiveness loss of a sense of shame around these outbreaks so we could get more public information about them. There's no question Rachel. Nursing homes are are accelerators for this virus and we literally have to literally put a moat around them in so if we test and we test all the staff and we test all the residents as they did a briar oaks with. David did immediately. Once they knew they had positive staff and positive residents was they went into lockdown mode every staff war personal protective equipment. Everyone had masks and in I believe in a number of my colleagues around the country. Believe that once you know you've got the virus in your nursing home if you move into going full bore on your protection against stellar infection prevention and Control. You can actually make a difference and you know. An article came out of the New England Journal today. That showed again that. You don't know what you don't know and there's a lot of facilities out there right now that have staff and residents with the virus and they don't know it if they just go on about their regular day they're going to become another Kirkman in terms of trying to maintain a practical and constructive approach to this since we've been talking about nursing homes a lot. We've heard a lot of people expressing despair especially if they've got relatives that are in one of these facilities. Who Need to be in a facility like this. Because they can't be cared for at home we've heard people really distraught worried that there's no way to protect them. So what you just said about how there are protocols that work that there are ways to protect people. I think is important to hear what I want to know is how we can try to up that standard. We can get more facilities up to those kinds of high standards nationwide. We have seen individual facilities pleading for help in terms of donated P. P. E. FOR STAFF. We've seen so many facilities where they say. They don't have access to testing. Do you think that we could APP systematically as a country to get testing and get and get medical consultation into these facilities to bring more facilities up to that high standard that you're describing quickly not only can we have no choice we have to? This is where the virus grows and accelerates and then leads to more people back in the hospital so if we don't focus on nursing homes assisted living facilities and protect the individuals. There I use. The word skyrocket that that out that is true. The numbers of a folks with the virus in the numbers who will succumb will will dramatically. Go up so I think it's absolutely critical as a country that we focus on getting personal protective equipment and make testing readily available. We've actually developed what we call our quadruple aim which is abundant personal protective equipment readily available testing stellar infection control and then the final pieces all nursing homes need to be running in their emergency preparedness mode. Because it's a lot of hard work and you know that's one comment I just have to make. Is the frontline staff in these nursing? Homes are putting their lives on the line and often some of these folks barely make a living wage fat and they're doing credible work right now. Protecting the older dolts vulnerable older adults in our country. Do you think makes sense. In the absence of community mobilization to support nursing homes the way. We have seen community mobilization to support doctors nurses and other health line provided health. Frontline healthcare providers. Do you think it makes sense? That community groups and local governments and civic organizations should be like adopting their local nursing home and trying to figure out what they need that can be either donated or organized for to try to surface their problems to try to get them help to make them more visible in terms of what they need absolutely honestly in a lot of places. The state federal counties have failed in this in you know. That's what makes our country great is that we do step up in. We help each other and I think absolutely everyone should be doing everything they can right now to bring support to nursing homes and assisted. Livings Elementary Group. There's a small group homes which have like six or seven seniors living in them. They're also very high risk so all those areas we only doing everything in our power to help prevent the virus from sort of running amuck within within the walls of those living facilities. Dr Michael Wasserman President California Association of Long-term Care Medicine Medical Director of Isenburg village at the Jewish home which played such a remarkable role in this epidemiological find basically. La's senior centers Doctor thank you for helping us make sense of all this. I hope you'll come back and talk to us about this. This is not something we plan on abandoning the story line. And we're just GONNA stay on this until somebody makes us not. I've loved that Rachel any time. All right thank you Dr. all right. We'll be right back. Stay with us. This is the headline on the front page of the Atlanta Journal. Constitution tonight. Scenes from Georgia's cautious reopening lines. Start early for haircuts today. The Republican governor of Georgia Brian Kemp took steps to reopen businesses in Georgia amid growing corona virus epidemic in his State nevertheless allowed salons and Tattoo Parlors and gyms and a whole slew of other businesses to open up in his State. Here's something to know about American leadership in the context of this brilliant decision earlier this week. The president of the United States was asked whether he thought reopening all these businesses in the state of Georgia. President was asked whether that was a good decision by Governor. Camp concerns like Georgia is opening up barbershops bowling alleys. And he's a very capable man. He knows what he's doing. That's basically the slogan for the Federal Response To this national crisis. You want to know when it's time to do anything. Don't ask me ask. The governor is a Republican governor. I'm sure that governor is doing a great job as governor kept saying. Here's a very capable man. He knows what he's doing. Well that was the answer from the president on Tuesday if you ask them again. The next day on Wednesday went differently. I told the governor of Georgia Brian. Kemp that I disagree strongly with his decision to open certain facilities. I disagree with him on what he's doing that like the president said these things like a few days apart or a week apart and then had a change of heart or something. I mean not only took twenty four hours. Honestly I mean it gives you whiplash. These are very capable man. He knows what he's doing. I disagree with him on what he's doing. Leadership one twenty four hour period. We do not have a national response to our national epidemic. Instead we have a president Who REVERSES COURSE? In a matter of hours on how he feels about the kinds of policy that will decide whether people live or die. And that's one thing to know that about this president and what this will forever due to the American presidency and expect expectations thereof. But we are starting to see now how it is affecting people right now on the ground among other places in the great state of Georgia. And that's next when the early history of this epidemic in the United States is written The state of Georgia will have a starring role not just because of what they are doing by reopening businesses today in the face of a large and escalating epidemic with no substantial access to testing of any kind The other reason Georgia will have a starring role in the history of this. American epidemic is because of the role that the town of Albany Georgia played in the early days of this experience. How the virus? There kneecaps the town so modest little hospital system. We're in the blink of an eye all thirty eight. Icu beds were full and in the blink of an eye they burned through a six month supply of PP socked away just to be careful. They burn through that six months supply in one week. Albany Georgia has been radiating heat in terms of infections and hospitalizations and deaths from the very beginning in Georgia. But now so are other parts of the state places like Whole County Georgia which is up north Atlanta where they're reported cases are ticking up now and where according to the New York Times the North Georgia Medical Center. There believes that they are on track to be over topped to be at capacity very soon as soon as may fourth cases are still on the upswing there according to their models hall county is not due to peak until early June. But they're expecting the hospital to be a capacity by May fourth and who knows what the models will say once Georgia's restaurants nail salons and Tattoo Parlors and gyms have been open for a week or two. That all started today as Georgia enters these uncharted waters the lessons from Albany Georgia where they had to navigate this pandemic without a compass. Those lessons are going to be more important than ever before joining us now. I'm honored to say Dr James Block. He is the medical director of emergency services at the phoebe. Putney health system in Albany Georgia. Dr Black joined US earlier this month to talk about what was happening in his hospital. Dr Block really glad. You're able to come back. Thanks for making time for US tonight. Rachel when we last spoke you were talking about a really incredible amount of utilization at your hospital in your er were your worries about supplies in terms of being able to keep your staff safe. How has the last few we? How have the last few weeks been? What's your utilization rates like now are still pretty heavy but We kind of develop the rhythm of reaching out to our sources and I supply chain guys move in charge of keeping track of equitable inventory as well as medications and so forth on the job and we have managed to avoid running out now. We can just close on a lot of different fronts. But we've never run out of anything thus far. How has your staff in coping just with the pace at which you have been seeing corona virus patients with the serious illness that I know a lot of patients present with with this illness? I imagine that it's been stressful on the staff. Just in terms of the number of hours that everybody's been working but also the seriousness of the cases that you've been handling question I you know. I guess we're sort of used to take care of critically ill. Patients in the merchant department but the sheer numbers the numbers that man group together who are in critical condition as something. None of us has ever really experienced when he sustained period of time but over the course of the past several weeks. It's been a steady Belsen wondering when you're gonNA come in and not have anybody just doesn't happen given that given how hard hit you were early and how it has been such a sustained flow of patients and such heartbreak in the community in terms of the number of people infected. The number of people sick. The number of people died. I feel like you were the person more than anybody else in Georgia who I want to ask about opening businesses back up and what. The governor has decided in terms of loosening all these restrictions and letting people go back to doing all sorts of business activity and all sorts of collective activity. That's likely to spread this virus more peak. We understand that don't against another leaders have to strike a balance between the economic health of the states And the the welby physically of the resonance and I guess. There's not really our place to endorse a criticizes decisions. But we're kind of tasked with remaining focused on taking care of the citizens on no matter the landscape of the context. I think we've made some pretty good gains. I guess two weeks ago. We had over one hundred fifty five colon patients in hospital and this afternoon. We were just a nine hundred eighty nine so we felt like we are at the point where we're not having a change for patients out. We're actually having people translate us and that we're seeing you were on a few new pacers on a daily basis but still seeing a significant Monaco with patients. So I think we're concerned that we might see another spike and an ill-timed or you don't conceive get together however innocent. Mason is back to where we were a couple of weeks ago in terms of being concerned about that spike. Obviously you in Albany your you and your hospital system really had the early worst of it in Georgia. We are seeing real worries about some other facilities and other parts of Georgia Hall. County for example is really worried right now that they're having large numbers and peak. That's going to hit later than they might top out their capacity at the hospital. Do you have advice for your fellow. Emergency medicine chiefs for your fellow frontline physicians and other parts of Georgia who may be looking at a steeper steeper peak and a larger number of cases. Now that the state's opening back up early advices number when you have to take care of yourself thinking of staff without you you're not gonNA take care out of the humidity and large certainly you. Suddenly I certainly as they try to love two to three weeks into the future and just assume that the pace is going to keep increasing. I think it was one of the things that was a little disarming early on forces that every day we kept company and you would hope it would be too spacious but if it was always two or three or ten or fifteen more patients and they were all ill so we were You know opening up additional units opening up initial. Icu's again going through a lot of equipment and making sure that your staff Stays engaged people living out because going to work hard every day. But they're gonNA see a tremendous amount of illness in a tremendous amount of debt that No one is used to. You know not not in our day and age. It's kind of uncharted territory. And I'm just expect that is going to continue to come until the starts to get slightly better James. Black the medical director of emergency services at Putney health system in Albany Georgia who's dealt with so much of the brunt of it and Georgia already good luck to you and your colleagues God bless you for what you do. And thanks for being with US. Her modulation all right. We'll be right back. Stay with us. Thanks for joining US tonight. For this unexpectedly one hundred percent no teleprompter version of the Rachel Maddow. So sorry about all of the looking down at around and saying Our coverage is gonNA continue now. You should stay right where you are when I return on Monday night however there will be one hundred percent more apparent eye contact between me and you see that can I the wait till maddow's show we did not MR ON MSNBC.

Georgia United States president Rachel Maddow California Corona Brian Kemp Los Angeles MSNBC south Florida Albany Georgia medical director Dr. Patty Dr Michael Wasserman Autoimmune disorder AIDS NBC Icu Dr James Block
A schoolgirls plea, a flying monster and kids on screens

The Science Show

53:52 min | 10 months ago

A schoolgirls plea, a flying monster and kids on screens

"While our attention is consumed by that virus. What's happened with climate? Have we forgotten about it? What our young folks haven't welcome to another sign show meet Rebecca Ford. She's one of those from all over strenuous who've been demonstrating about a concerns. Rebecca is in year eleven at Albany Senior High School. She's very much involved with community engagement as she is part of the Albany Youth Advisory Council and is a high school student leader. She's also part of the skate. Like ago program for Roller Derby. Albany of course is in southeast Western Australia and I met her as she addressed a large gathering a couple of weeks ago when such was still allowed and this is what she said. I am sixteen years old which is arguably to him to be speaking to all of you about climate action. Somebody even say that it's too young to be worried about climate change in the first place and you know what they would probably be right not because climate change isn't real so I shouldn't have to worry about it but because you shouldn't need to have a sixteen year old tell you what we're doing wrong in regards to caring for our planet but I have found that I've had to voice my opinions because there's a lack of listening skills from those in control. I am here today to talk to you about ways in which I believe we can move forward whilst making a positive difference whether it be lodge small and I say small because I believe that it doesn't matter the size of the action you were trying to take in regard to that difference it all adds up and is valued in the grand scheme of things. I became aware of the climate situation through the Albany senior high school. Marine Science Academic Extension Program. I was a member of that program from twenty seventeen to twenty nineteen and along the way I gained plenty of knowledge about Albany's marine ecosystems. I became very aware that there are changes occurring in our actions that have a detrimental effect on marine wildlife. It was at that point in time when I realized that something had to be done to Cantu. These negative impacts helping to organize a climate strike in Albany. Last year was where my involvement really started to take off my sister and her friend brought me along to one of the earliest meetings where. I immediately got involved with the speech. Present a group so I could voice. My concerns vent my frustrations about the lack of action from out government leading up to the strike. I was sure that we were only going to get about three hundred people. Turn up to support the cause. In the end we saw a one thousand people from all different ages and sectors of society packed into the town square about nine hundred ninety six of which signed a petition asking local government to declare a state of climate emergency in the weeks following the strike I alongside Kayla neighbor hands Kinsley Crowley Hannaford and Bridget Mason went and actually spoke a couple of council meetings pushing for action on behalf of the Albany community. All of this has led up to me being here today and speaking to you. This leads me to pose the question. What can we do now? Well there are full different levels of Action. We must seek individual. Local national and global people generally tend to overlook the individual actions by believing that one person can't make a difference. This is obviously wrong. Because if we add up all individual actions they combined to make valuable changes for example if everyone had water wise show head imagine the decline in water consumption per household. Not only is this a great sustainable practice but it also saves money on water bills and long. Environmentally sustainable transport practices could include walking cycling instead of driving a cau- show distances carpooling or using public transport other individual actions such as buying local produce rather than imported perjury's up cycling or buying secondhand clothes and using reusable items like Stroz water bottles containers and shopping bags. Also contribute to sustainability and reduction in waste. Now that I've discussed individual actions it's time to consider what we can do as a community. Participation in group projects allows for social interaction while walking towards common goals on a larger scale. Some examples of these types of projects might include revisitation of native plants and removal of non native plants. The creation of more community gardens workshops on up cycling and repurposing household items and community cleanups of local Beta pock areas to prevent the degradation of our local waterways and Tom to wildlife while we as individuals and small communities can take action. We need government to take climate change seriously by listening to the science and taking action in a way that individuals learn Kennel. This could include the government mandating some changes as well as being the latest working towards a sustainable future. What this might look like is imposing a ban on single use plastics better management of water resources like the Murray Darling Basin improvements in the electric highway. So that we can diverge away from cabinet meeting cause a reduction in coal use or the installation of renewable energy systems. Nationwide another possible government action could be the setup of government recycling industries. We'll grants to help. Businesses start their own recycling industries. These industries may have lodged production costs but the outcome of being able to recycle items. Ezio we'll be more environmentally sustainable in the long run finally what actions can be made on a global level people across the entire planet have contributed to its decline as a result of greed corruption and ignorance and overpopulation. Eilly increases pressure on the Environment. World leaders need to take united stand and accept that climate change is real. Some possible solutions could be genuine attempts to reduce carbon emissions targets developments in the sustainable energy industry. Wealthy countries helping developing countries set up their own recycling industries. Global Plastic reduction and increased research into clean energy despite as sophisticated and development is a species. We need to recognize that. We may have done more harm than good. There is still time to implement changes to prevent further degradation. Perhaps now would be an opportune time to look for simple solution so I am a sixteen year old child who was fortunate enough to live in this beautiful part of the world and I would like future generations to be able to experience it to. It is my dream. That ouled latest can cooperate in recognizing that there is a global crisis and responding to Advi implementing changes to our way of life. These changes must be environmentally sustainable achievable and accessible to as many people as possible. I want to leave the world in a better place than I. Currently find it. Thank you for listening. Rebecca Ford aged. Sixteen she's in year eleven albany in Western Australia. That's speech from a couple of weeks ago to an audience of nearly three hundred people. Yes climate is still there and we'll be looming for decades the Sancho Narin which occasionally visits the triple. As meeting that was held in Seattle in February. Here's another schoolgirl. I met standing by her poster describing her line of research. My name is Natalie doubt I currently attend the Science and Engineering Academy at John Jay in Texas San Antonio that says discovering an effective way to protect thermodynamics in spacecraft. And your school. Where do you get your spacecraft so my goal was to see which materials are going to work the best and protecting from extreme heat and extreme colds that they would encounter in spacecraft? Did you happen to have these materials lying around the house? So a lot of these I went and got and then I was actually fortunate to get some from a mentor. At Southwest Research Institute they provide me with some fifty fifty one aircraft grade aluminum which was extraordinarily more than yes super. And which material you find. Good in which bad aluminum's worked the best material? I'd originally looked at using Berlin and titanium but they're extremely heavy and so they've crossed the spacecraft's all of the US missile. So they do work well and protecting from heats another one I found really good silicon and the reason for that is it absorbed the heat and then moved it away from the heat. Shield up really well and redirecting the heat. Does this confirm what other people like? Nasa had found out where you surprising them with new information. They continue to research. And they actually you silicone and the thermal tiles that currently use on the space shuttle missions that they used to get up and down from the International Space Station so it did reinforce this while also testing some other metals. They don't currently use aluminum in Texas near you. Any spay sites the Johnson Center is in Houston and so the past three summers have done programs with them which is actually where. I got motivation from this. I was part of the High School Aerospace Scholar Program. Which is with Oklahoma College and Johnson? Space Center where I got to go on campus and then I did the online course throughout the school as well. I have the strange feeling you want to be an engineer. Yes Astronautical Engineering. Planning on majoring in next year. Do you want to go up into space? That is possibly considering. Definitely I see what your next plan because your senior aren't you? Yes so I am going to go to college for Aerospace Engineering. I'm in-between three colleges. Currently I'm looking at emory university. Ut Austin and college station here in a big big science conference it's Super Amazing It's a lot of people to me. It's a lot of different categories and topics. So it's very interesting in lots of learning environment. Oscar your parents and science did you get inspiration from him. So that's my lawyer quite different and my dad does construction and so he had looked into architectural engineering. And they're super interested in it but little different. Good luck and thank you. Thank you Natalie. Dow from San Antonio Texas of the trip layers in Seattle enthusiasm. You could bottle yes. Scientific talent can be nurtured in young and old and from other occupations. Now meet Timothy Grady also like Natalie working in materials. Science having hung up his spanner. Tim was a plumber and now he's at the outfit investigating sustainability at Curtin University in Perth. The first rather personal cheeky question. How did you go from plumbing? To being an academic kittens sends out a series of scholarship position. Openings and part of that as a Undergrad student and it was actually the die off the off submitted my dissertation that I received an email about a PhD. Scholarship and I looked at it and it was actually what written my dissertation about our sensor a shaky savvy and Sarah Guy Getting spot. We actually are working plumber for any length of time. Yeah I was fought on plumbing for ten years in Melbourne and I actually worked fulltime and studied full-time getting my undergrad degree. And when you work as a plumber and you've got environmental sensibilities you get the horror. Sometimes the way people behave with the water supplies and so on yesterday against. That's why there to help them. Lakes by and trunk as much water in the system as you can rather than them. So what are you doing now to change focus during a on economy of modular buildings? We've actually designed a disassemble. Modular two story building it's actually unsought now and fremantle at the village sought so that's been a major part of the case study for myself and also my colleague. Roberta an Yuna. Yeah a lot of works going into that and we're really proud. We're going to be helping early next year. Which is fantastic result when you main circular you're not talking about the shape or you know just reduce reuse and recycle so the idea came about it was actually redid audio when we had a bunch of disused steel frames that were from a foul building project that were available industry partner. Fleetwood and together. We took the idea Ray Ryan's friends in a way that we could build a new building from the Scott. Weist side that material from being recycled and put it directly back into race. And that's what we've done to get this building. How much of that can you do? In other circumstances lots a lot of it just comes down to you design and your mode of thinking when you're approaching a job has to be reintroduced building materials and that's what we're looking at doing and as part of this journey as well going around to different salvage and demolition yards and actually saying where the stock material is kept in the way that needs to change in the coming years to actually reintroduced it backing away where it's protected and it's kid for a new building material notice y stuff I think. That's the biggest mindset change that will help in the future and of course one thing that people are worried about when it comes to. Buildings is the use of cement because of the emissions of carbon and so on. Is that soluble. Yeah look cement isn't really a great one. Because there's a big misconception that you can be recycled can only be down saw code and it can be used for lesser products. So I think in the future cement is going to have to become more during the sensitive can be put in and taking out as a motor product had standard outsourcing otherwise. From next point of view I say we need to look at steel and stronger timber. Michelle such a sale. So modular meaning. You've got various shapes which can be Slotted into each other and when you fed up with the building you take them apart again and use them again. Well Yes for building in particular designed to the two story building actually fits on trucks so once you seek if the building. You don't actually native demolish it you can just pick it up and move it away and put it back together somewhere else. The dream from as just to be playing with leg into career cy. That's pretty much what we're trying to achieve. And that's what we've done with this building and I'd like to see more of it especially here playing with legos. Say See the movie. Lego is awesome. Everything is also on. That sounds quite awesome. Must say the question is whether the professions again get on with it and take those ideas on board. I think they will. I think there's a lot more of it being done overseas as a lot. More on the east coast as well but here. It's mainly restricted to the view that transporters will these for morning purposes. And things like that when we say someone Hawk quality building locked this bond which uses a lot of different materials and people can actually engage with the spice. Then people start to realize that there's another alternative rather than just building brick buildings with what she looks like. It's beautiful scribe it. Then it's got weather tech's down the bottom which is press penalize timber product. It's a direct replacement for cement by Saudis Product. Up The top is Matt Caliban and it's Nas Natural wood finishes on the Entry Right. The entire warnings are a blunt flaw. Which is a really touching. The ceilings are a prestige. Cousteau felt panel. That actually held in place by magnets. The kitchens A Really Beautiful Rock from perform in Perth and they're actually completely resources board so there's a lot of different things where we've had the opportunity to use materials that you would say in commercial buildings and actually just put them in here so people can say wise that can be installed and have that circular economy approach with that can be taken apart accessed magnets lost. Today we're just having having some troubles getting them Nelson set because every time someone else needs to come in we need to pull them back down but eventually when they're up they'll look good and the biggest question of course above the green one decisive money. Not Not yet. We will save money in the future but at the moment is now sort of Opportunity Closley from racist point of view. I mean Steichen. Twelve months of fulltime work of running rand organizing phone calls big borrowing stealing to try and get these things into place. But eventually we'll be out of credit system where it'll take care of itself. You Miss Plumbing here. Miss Being on salt with the voice. I it's a different environment but I'll get to McGrady doing his. Phd At Cusco the Sustainability Team at Curtin University in Perth later and sign. Show some of the biggest dinosaur of ever imagined and a flying beast from hell before we see the monster. Just hear what it may have sounded like but these noises come not from a creature but a machine called Smith reports star. Wars fans have all heard of the notorious tie fighter. It's the evil empires weapon of choice. Small combat and it has a very distinctive sound. But what many fans may have missed? Is the tie as in. Ti actually stands for twin. Ion engine and that ion engine sound well. It turns out as in so much science fiction. It's probably not quite right. Apparently an ion engine actually sounds more like this firing. That's a recording of Dr. Patty Newman testing an ion engine. That he dreamt up and designed as a third year student. It's called the norman thrust up and that could be the sound of Australia's future spacecraft. That is if sound actually carried in space. Dr Newman's lab has recently moved to Adelaide's lot fourteen. The new home for these trailing space agency and a hub for Stralia face dot ups but when I visited last year it was tucked inside a nondescript brick warehouse in suburban Adelaide. Get a duck patio on the chief scientists on space and welcome to our lab. We're doing product development and research in a warehouse in suburban Adelaide. He's an enthusiastic guy with a big beard. And here's how he describes his creation. The Norman thruster a particular machine called a pulse. Cathodic ARC plasma. Solis works kind of like what happens. If you make an electric welder like an arc welder have babies with a camera flash ION thrusters electricity powered spacecraft engines prototypes have been around since the fifties and some have even been tested in space. Dr Newman's thrust is a little different earlier prototypes but it has similar component pots. He pointed these APP to me as we looked at a norman thrust Inside a long steel vacuum chamber next to us. There was replicating conditions in low earth orbit and an Ode which is the positive part of the second a cathode negative part of the second a triggering electrode and we often put a little magnetic fields coil on the as well as to give it a bit more efficiency when the system fires electricity spock's between the android and the cathode this technique can be very powerful. Which is why it's used by some welding tools to break up tough material. You might have seen one of these used before. They're known as arc welders or electrical welders when you use an electric welder like an aqua you bring the long skinny welding road close to the you're trying to well the wildebeest and the long skinny welding Rod. That's the cathode. That's the negative part of the circuit. When you get that close enough to the android the welds base the positive end you get the being triggered between. Cathode and the same broad principle is at work here inside Patty Newman's thrust except instead of welding. He's using this powerful bursts of electricity to make plasma. Plasma is just aghast that we've heated up or hit with a lot of electrons to make a bunch of the electrons whizzing around the atoms jumpoff and break free. So it's like a gas but it's very electrically conductive that gas is a mixture of negatively charged electrons and the original atoms. They were attached to which are positively charged because they've lost their negatively charged electrons. These are known as ions. Plasma is a pretty volatile state. Lightning is considered plasma and stars like our sun a made of predominantly the same stuff to patty. Norman's thrust is all about turning an element like say titanium magnesium into plasma and firing the charged gas at the back of the engine when the system goes we. Send the repulsed of the trigger. Electrode once the discharge starts we create a plasma from whatever we make the cathode out of. So if it's a titanium. Cathode is a titanium plasma shooting that plasma out the back is what propels the engine and the craft. It's attached to forward. It's a rocket just like any other. Okay you have some material moving one direction really fast. Andrew the magic with conservation of momentum. The rest of the vehicle get pushed along like firing a bullet out of a gun recoil. It's the exact same physics Dr. Norman came up with the idea while he was an undergraduate student. At the University of Sydney. I was a student doing airspace engineering and physics and suffering from a horrible condition. I fold asleep in lectures and because of this. I decided to volunteer for as many practical projects as possible so volunteered for a project on plasma diagnostics which is like it says on the tin you put into the plasma diagnose how holidays how dense it is how fast it's moving all of these important things and by analyzing results further. I can determine the average effective velocity of the plasma which was about twenty three kilometers per second. I figured you'd probably make a rocket out of that. Did you ever think you know as a third year university student? You'd have your own space rocket drive named after you don't really. I looked at how good some of the numbers were and laughed and said none are not are this is this is too good. But he reached the data and he hadn't made a mistake so now he's commercializing the Norman thruster and in May last year he signed a research and development contract with the Australian Department of Defense to begin testing the engine. I asked whether I could see a demonstration of the thruster. Unfortunately the system was under maintenance and it didn't sound like it would be worth risking test. We have shot shop. Pulses of plasma pulses of several thousand amps. Which is slightly hazardous. But he could show me a recording of the thrust of firing and he walked me through what happens inside the sealed vacuum chamber. When it'll fires ye see a bright flash of light and what that flash tells you is that plasma is charged firing okay yet to bright white bluish flash it looks a lot like the bright blue light you get out of an arc welding because it's the same sort of deal. It's an arc plasma so if my hand was in there and I got hit with one of those bursts board. I feel you probably have a lot more issue from the vacuum but the amount of impulse that we're actually providing each of those pulses is on the order of Newton. Second which if you hold up your hand. This is about the same amount of impulse. He says just puffing gently onto the middle of his palm. So it's not a whole lot but if you're up in space with very very little air and there's no friction with the ground every one of those little pulses adds up. This isn't very useful for taking off or blasting through an atmosphere so the ion thruster went replace chemical propellants standard way of firing rockets into space chemical repellents. A really great for giving you a Lotta thrust right now. The really high thrust but they're not very highly efficient. That is where the Norman thruster excels. In fact the thrusted drew international attention a few years ago when it beat the existing record for fuel efficiency it even beat Nasr's best ion engine prototypes one of the efficiency metrics. That engine is like to talk about in this. Space is cold specific impulse often referred to as ISP. It's kind of like miles per gallon but for rockets the ISP is essentially the amount of push you can get from given a fuel so a higher specific impulse means. The propellant is being used more efficiently. This is just one element to consider when designing space engine but it is important given. Kroft need to travel long distances to get anywhere in space plus because getting anything into orbit is expensive having fueled that gets you. Further with less. Mass is pretty handy. Specific impulse is measured in seconds. When Dr Norman began testing his engine existing ion thrusters had reached about three thousand five hundred seconds of specific impulse. Nasa's experimental high pep system could reach a little below ten thousand seconds but after trialing few different fuels duct newman released. His results published a paper a couple of days ago now on magnesium as the propellant and had daughter at eleven thousand seconds so three times better than what's commercially available today and that was even better than Nasr's best attemps so after Dr. Norman released his data. News articles started to appear around the world talking about the Australian University student who built an Ion thruster that beat everyone else's on that metric. Yeah but This is just a very early days. Experimental system the high performance systems NASA has done experiments with have been based around a lot of research and a lot of cumulated knowledge. On how you'd make it so that it could fly where learning how it works with a system because no one's really done it with this technology before but there's another advantage to the thrust aside from fuel efficiency in other prototypes. The fuel is normally a gas but inducted Newman's thruster the fuel can be a solid material. And this comes with a few benefits so this means we don't need a tank unlike the other electric propulsion systems which require something like xenon or other gaseous propellants. Like that because we've got a dense solid propellant. We need a lot less space in order to do the same same mission. Which coupled with a much denser propellant means get a much smaller volume in your spacecraft is devoted to propulsion system plus solid conductive materials are reasonably abundant. And not just here on earth. One of the great strengths of our system is can think of it. Like a diesel engine. If you work the injectors and the other bits of the hardware and a diesel just right. It can run on anything. That is liquid in hydrocarbon without system. We need solid and conductive which means we could potentially run on space. John he says it might even be possible to feed the engine with asteroids. It doesn't have to be a mental as long as it's conductive carbon if you treat it. Right is conductive graphite for example stuff in Pennsylvania. Then there's an entire class of asteroid cold a carbonaceous contract for eason. While the normal thrust won't be able to compete with chemical propellant combustion engines to get craft into space. He sees an opportunity to fit this engine on small craft or satellites to keep them in orbit. There's always going to be a little bit of tug from the Moon in from the Sun's gravity to you need a little engine to keep it in the correct orbit System will have the efficiency that you want in order to maximize mission lifetime as promising as it sounds. There are still a few challenges including finding a source of electrical power to turn the cathode into a plasma thrust with an electrical propulsion system. You need of course as the name suggests electricity to do this way. You get that electricity Fraum. That's somebody else's decision but fuel hanging around at about the same distance that the earth is from the sun you'd be using solar panels because of the cost benefit analyses. There's no other real choice. Further out in the solar system however you get a lot less sunlight everything becomes colder docket dimmer and you wind up meeting something. Nuclear last year known space received some two million dollars in seed funding and government grants. They say they're planning to test. The women thrust in space so although it's unlikely we'll see an Australian designed tie fighter. Who knows this ion engine might soon be moving satellites or spacecraft across the night sky called Smith with us at the ABC science unit? And let's hope he's right so many ideas such young talent. Let's now stay in Adelaide? Where last week we spoke to Professor Roger Seymour who published a paper on clever apes by measuring blood flow to the brain but is other interest is dinosaurs which is testing in the same way. We're using the holes in bones mainly to look at the evolution of dinosaurs because we're interested in the metabolic rate of dinosaurs. And that's what my original idea was how we could use the formula in dinosaur bones to determine their metabolic rate and turns out we can and we can show that the thighbone femur has a huge hole in it much greater than living mammals birds. The blood that went into that hole was to keep the bone alive and to allow it to grow and to repair the micro fractures that are normally accumulated during locomotion and it showed that these animals grew fast and they were highly active animals characteristic of warm blooded into therms so interesting and dinosaurs from South Australia. No no dinosaurs from Australia at all have been measured by us. We've searched all of the major museums of the world and have got up to two hundred specimens now vibe bones of dinosaurs which after the eight paper dies down. We're going to start looking at. What if you find out of dinosaurs to quite smart? That's a point but the unfortunately the blood flow to the brain of birds and dinosaurs is much more complicated than it turns out to be in primates. We were very lucky that there are only three groups of living mammals that have the major supply through the internal crowded arteries and that it's primates marsupials and rodents none of the others so we can't do marine mammals. Cetaceans or any other of the intelligent species. Professor Bridges seem all of the University of Adelaide. Now if you happen to have a copy of the scientific American magazine from October lying around look up the picture on the cover terrifying avast creature with unbelievable wings zooming across the sky. It's the imagined monster of Michael Habib. Who's at the University of Southern California and the La County Museum? Michael you Dr Cover Story Habib. Given the Scientific American and your new book thanks very much yes so I spend a Lotta time. In the realm of large flying animals actually the largest of flying animals that are known. Be Flying Reptiles Kotehra sores? Not all of them are huge. But I spend a lot of time on the large ones and that was the primary subject of my cover article in scientific American and they also feature prominently in upcoming book which will be out in a handful of months later. This year it's go flying monsters illustrating flying vertebrates and the creature on the cover is like something I've never seen before its wings and it's got anorexia although it's huge it's very slim and it's got a gigantic head with a frown. A bit like fins and teeth sticking out. What the Hell is it. We've nicknamed it by we myself and my partner on the book. Tarot wit latch killer. Dactyl is a hypothetical terrorist sore that never really existed an imagined creature. The kid from Hell. Yeah pretty much and what it is is actually what you would get if you took early. Tara Soars and blended them both in terms of size and proportions with later terrorists or so this is blending two groups of animals that actually existed to create a new thing that is realistic and would work mechanically and everything but never actually existed in his quite frankly hideous and beautiful at the same time. How'd you would work mechanically? That's my job. What we've done here is in terms of the important mechanical components so proportions are related to be able to fly at large size and things like that. We've borrowed all of those proportions and aspects from large territories. That really live. So it has all the things that needs to do to flight large size and worked mechanically things like cats aquatics wing spans of ten and a half meters and massive around three hundred kilos or so. And so we've built this animal to the same specs as well as those real animals. A lot of regards but then in terms of the teeth in the overall shape of the head and things like that we've borrowed from these other. Tarasov that were fairly distantly related to create this cool mishmash which brings us to the big puzzle about those creatures. Why did they have to be so big? Isn't an easy if you're small? Not necessarily it's kind of funny in a way when we'd expect a size evolution Phil what whatever space works kind of filled available space. So it's being small has advantages but being big has advantages to and on the whole groups probably get smaller or as big as circumstances allow now. Circumstances can be resource scenarios. They can also relate to mechanically with the can and cannot do so. Tear Soares had anatomy. That allowed them to get very large and still be very effective flyers very efficient launchers as opposed to say a bird which can't get nearly that big with anatomy. And do the same things Beverly Schwartz with God and so terrorists were were always going to be able to get bigger than other things in terms of what the advantage might be. There are more as being a big flyer than you might think. One of them is that being able to go. Long in search of food are began ago. February timing between meals is much easier at large size. So it's not a coincidence. For example amongst living living animals the biggest animals are soaring. Animals goes both ways on the one hand. If you're that big if you're the size of a of a condor for example you probably need to be a soaring specialist. For the most part you could also be a short range flight specials that can pick while Turkey for example fewer options at the big size so they tend to be soaring specialists but on the other hand. It's also true you're better at soaring small things. Don't store very well. And so if a small bird for example wants to fly a few hundred miles. It's basically got a flap almost the entire time whereas of an eagle does that it could maybe get away with only flapping twenty percent of the time or less and so one of those of course has an enormous advantage in terms of range for fuel costs. Indeed but you said just now that some of them. The bigger ones can stop eating for quite some time. I thought that if you were so big you had to eat like a cow does almost all day long. How often you have to eat depends very much on. How hard is today? Just the things that you're eating so cows have to continuously browse because what they're eating is basically just poor food. I mean it stuff that if most things ready to eat it they would just die. And they wouldn't be able to extract energy while they get an impaction and they would just kill over right to the fact that eating leaves is not easy to do. We think of plans to just sitting there waiting to be eaten but they're not defending themselves. They're armored for one thing. That got all the cellulose and everything and they're very hard to digest and it takes a long time that they just didn't you can still only a fair bit of fairly modest amount of energy out even if you're a big animal that adapted to that and so they have to eat all the time but there's no indication that tariffs were eating leaves for example. In fact there's a number of indications they were not that's something probably none of them eight and they had very diets but most of them are higher energy dive. So if you're eating meat or you're eating fruits or things of that nature. Those are high energy foods that can be digested rapidly. They have a high energy density. And they're easy to Digest. You don't need a big. Gi Tract just them and you can eat a whole bunch of fat and then you can use fat reserve if you have to do a long flight. For example modern Brazil the timing of the longest distance nonstop migration on records of far of living animals is by a bar tailed godwit and it migrates from Alaska to New Zealand and back again each year it lands in New Zealand. Half the mass it started. And that's a range by the way better than most seven. Thirty seven Boeing aircraft. And this thing is about the size and shape of an American football. This is lights rowing rugby ball in the air and having it land thousands of miles somewhere else. I mean it doesn't look to us like the epitome of fishing and speed and they're flapping away. They're not in animals but the reason they can do that in part because they can build up all the fuel before they leave and they can burn down a tremendous amount of fat and a bunch of muscle along the way without wrecking themselves physiologic. Which by the way if you did something like that you know if a human tragedy something like that Stress Right. This is somebody. Flying Animals are very good at before. We get to feathers which I'd like to talk about. Can't see any on your territory but anyway if you stay on the ground and you stay with big dinosaurs. Maybe the vegetarian ones huge ones with huge long necks and great big bodies tons and tons and tons. How do they joints work without breaking? Which is enough in terms of the big giant long necked dinosaurs. That's that's something that I've started to break into less for years because I've got eighteen New Mexico. This is a team that I lead on behalf of the Natural History Museum here in Los Angeles. The our team out there has discovered his calling to titanic source to the largest land vertebrates ever live actually whenever specimens is probably the largest dinosaur from North America ever. It's about three meters across at the hips. And these these are animals that always get great names to give some kind of great name. The most complete one which is from South America's cadre notice which means fears. Nothing dreadnought dreadnought. Yeah I got to watch that being prepped. The Carnegie Museum when I used to live and work in Pittsburgh but anyway these guys. I mean they're crazy. I've been thinking a lot about like how you do these kinds of support and interestingly enough the limiting factor on size for this is probably not weight support. It's probably nerve link and vascular so the answer your question directly about how did their joints not fail it? Turns out limbs are really strong as long as you keep them straight. We caught coupling that in axial compression so the base. Load them in the end. And if you do that bones or about five times stronger than concrete and of course in the joints of Harlem and such but that cartilage is somewhat compressibility and ultimately all transfer the load to the bone. And so if you've got a Nice Big Simi. Soft cartilages PAT in there. And we think that a lot of college captain ends their their bones and joints and he kept the limbs quite straight you could haul up an enormous amount of weight which quite frankly we can see evidence in the fossil record by the fact that these large dinosaurs overlap. Baleen whales in size if you look at the size records through time Blue Elsa the top fin whale is next but it's close heat with a few dinosaurs and it's a bunch of dinosaurs land animals and then you get the more whales. That's extraordinary asked your territory. I can't see any feathers although if I looked very hard. Other for the what we add a little bit of fuzz on this particular creature. Keep in mind it is imagined in reality. We do know from direct fossil evidence of a handful tear source that some of them were very furry basically they had these things called. Pike new fibres. We don't know if actually the large ones were particularly furry because we don't have any preserve directly from them like some larger mammals. Today they may have had a little less insulation than the smaller ones. We don't know we know. Some of the small ones were very fuzzy. Big Ones might've been somewhat fussy. Fussy to we don't really know we also don't know whether or not they were really feathers or not certainly not true feathers in the the most technical sense of the word but they might share an origin feathers. So it's possible that the common ancestor of dinosaurs and territories because territories are not dinosaurs but they're closer related that common ancestor might've had fuss and fuzz became feathers and dinosaurs and it just stayed fussing. Tear source. That's a possibility. The other possibility is that that broader group of reptiles which call Arkansas has a propensity for evolving fuzzy coverings and dinosaurs did it once. Here's a different time. Because they both had this predisposition to do it. We don't know which one of those is true. There is some recent fossil evidence however that does seem to suggest that they have a common origin. When you're not doing cover stores when you're not out in South America Finding Monster Soroush or whatever it is. Do you actually go out and up stuff shirt. I mentioned earlier about the having to field. Crews I'm on site with this field crews I don't just point them in the direction so I'm out there are. There are two field sites that work most summers one of them is in northwestern New Mexico. And we've found a sore is out there. We have multiple titanic sources giant long dinosaurs a whole force of petrified wood and a lot of other great creatures that we found out there and then there's another field site. I work actually proper field. Course in a partnership London with Queen Mercy in London that is up in Alberta and so I work with folks there and we take students out to a field site in dinosaur provincial park which UNESCO World Heritage Site and we train them and field techniques and then we do real field work out there so to places where I'm out regularly stopped in a few other field sites over the years but those are my primaries professional Michael Habib author of flying monsters. The book out later this year with luck yes. Books as opposed to screens. What about that choice for kids at home? Mooning around the house while we wait for the virus to go away well we have a new center of excellence this year spanning many campuses including the county university in Perth. Here's one of its leaders. Lilia Green Professor of communications there will be recruiting thousands of families two thousand with newborn children and one thousand children to be part of a seven year. Longitudinal study so that we can have a living laboratory of the impact of different kinds of experiences digital media upon a whole range of health education and connection outcomes for these children that was a very intense job description. Essentially you wired about where the young people are handling the new technology well or not. What are the problems? You're seeing so far. What we see is the concern that most parents feel about a new way of bringing up. Children in every generation in living memory has had different experiences and different technologies in the generation before it but what we see is parents worrying about whether they're doing the best things for their children. They know that the educational messages young children benefit from digital technologies. They are concerned that the health message is often that they are disadvantaged and that they should be allowed to grow at their own pace without the impact of digital influences and yet the social environment is such that children see digital technologies used around them all the time and like anything else. They want their share of them. So we're trying to come up with evidence based guidance that will help parents make the decision. That's right for their family context. So for example I'm talking to families and based on the research we've done. We would generally suggest that families think very hard about a child having their own device under five because if a parent is lending a phone there's always a discussion at the point that is handed over and the parent generally wants it back again. So that's a natural break on how long the child has the device but it also means that the challenge is engaged in a discussion around whose it is how long itself for as part of the digital use so it's context it within a family dynamic or within the school dynamic on the other hand if a parent and the child each have their own device. Then they can be absorbed in digital worlds and loose at opportunity to communicate with each other. It seems to imply that we are naturally born. Pabst TO WANNA be alone in our own situation and if you have your little device that is an extension of urine situation even though you look at it as a way of examining the world. So there's a tendency to be privatised there now. I thought the other way round. You WanNa be with people and you want to be out in the world. I think for children being online is one of the few areas which they have autonomy and agency they can often choose what they're engaging with within limits depending upon how the parent is set up the device and they can make things happen. They can make noises. They can choose colors. They can select program streams all sorts of things and that level of agency in their everyday. Lives is very rare and so I think that what happens is that children do want to engage with others all the time but it needs to be a whole range of experiences rather than predominantly digital or to the exclusion of all digital particularly since these children will be growing into a digital world. I think we need to try and explore ways in which we can raise children that are confident digital uses who are able to leave devices that are able to go without digital contact without feeling anxious and who are able to be conscious of their technologies letter. What is your particular role in this exercise? I've been researching the role of digital media in children's lives for over twenty years. Now partly experimenting on my own children and then going on to look at others. I've been working recently with very young children from birth to five and I'm about to start a project with older children looking at their perceptions of harm through accessing adult content online which was something that's been looked at by the Senate commission so I've been privileged to look at the whole range of age groups from zero to eighteen and with a whole range of very talented partners and researchers and PhD students. How young you find them. Using these devices going shock me about you know three four five months old absolutely there is almost no level of use of infancy where children are not engaged by screen. Now obviously at that age all they can do is screw in Ghar at it and follow it with their eyes but they are fascinated. They are hardwired to look at changing information in their environment. Because that's how they survive it identifies threats but it also identifies sources of soccer and and love and care and so if you've got a device where there's color there's lights those music it engages them now. Of course they get tired they get hungry. They need a lot of other things but there is a risk that the so-called digital babysitter unless it's part of a plan sort of introduction and if families Taking some thought about how to introduce send engage their child with digital media. There's a risk that it can become very very fascinating for very young children very early on. Do you find it a problem that these devices are made to be addictive and they could be made otherwise. I think that capitalism is the fundamental roots of that problem and I think that probably trying to come to terms with it is easier than curing capitalism. So what I think we're trying to do here is to understand. What other successful ways? What are the good models for raising kids to be confident? Technology uses and confident people who can walk away from that technology and not feel they have to have the last word or not feel crushed because someone said something rude to them so we want to look at the ways that different people have successfully raised kids to be able to be in control of technology rather than the other way round unless we totally change the economic system of Western democracies which probably raises. More problems than. It's worth to try and do that. Then we have to learn to live with the environment we've created for ourselves you think it's necessary to involve the young people in this exercise as well. Do they say interesting things about their predicament. I think it's inevitable. The young people are using these digital technologies to make their presence known and felt in a way that we have never previously seen so it begs the question as to where we draw the line. For what can't says citizenship. What CATS IS ADULTHOOD? What cat says an informed use of these media when we look at young people like Greta Thorburn or the Marjory Stoneman? Douglas High School massacre survivors the way that they are using digital media social media to create a new direction for discussions. I think we have hope that. In the midst of all the chaos that we creating for them they are having a chance to speak back and to perhaps with lock influence. Some of the outcomes before it gets too late say talking about too late is a bit of a paradox on the one hand. You've got the young women especially women. Actually you mentioned who are wonderfully articulate and showing leadership the young age on the other hand if you look at the stats for broader education around strata stats going down in fact the stats showing this diminution of achievement. So how do you interpret that? I think it's possibly the fact that young people are no longer seeing a clear trajectory between educational outcomes and job opportunities that we have so disrupted our society possibly with digital media that. It's hard to be sure that the old formula of study hard work. Well do your homework is going to result in the sort of job that your parents had in front of you. I think we have a big conversation to be had with the younger generations around things like income insecurity around job prospects around the GIG economy around different ways of being and we need to be far more compassionate and understanding rather than thinking that what we were lucky enough to experience his something that young people should aspire to and if they work hard enough they will achieve. Because that's not the case final question. How much do you use digital media yourself? I'm a bit of a dinosaur. I think if I was like a fish in water it wouldn't have the fascination that it does. I use facebook. I don't tweet. I just live on my emails and my word programs writing books and articles and reading what other people have written and I spent a lot of time sending texts to my friends and family. Good to see you again after thirty years and you Robin I've really enjoyed it. Yes Leilia Green. Remember my interview with her on telecommunications and the Bush on Sancho in November Nineteen Ninety. Then she was w a college of advanced education now. She's professor at Edith Count University and one of those leading the new center of excellence on digital learning. Next week we shall wander about multi versus the history of there being lots and lots of universes and the idea goes back past aristotle and we should explore the earth to see whether that's really where many fossil fuels come from and the idea also goes way back. The sign shows produced by David Fisher. I'm Robin Williams our own.

Dr. Patty Newman Dr. Norman Perth Cathode Adelaide Rebecca Ford Nasa Natalie Albany Seattle Western Australia Curtin University Michael Habib Albany Senior High School Australia South America Smith partner
522 Aviation is Your Future at ERAU

Airplane Geeks Podcast

1:36:52 hr | 2 years ago

522 Aviation is Your Future at ERAU

"This is the airplane geeks, podcast, hurry to educate inform you explore and expand your passion for aviation and entertain you a little along the way. This episode we talk with Dr petty Clark, a program chair at Embry, riddle, air nautical university worldwide about the upcoming aviation is your future course offered free online for youngsters, aged eight through twelve. Petty also tells us about airport and aviation sustainability. In the news, we look at the latest FAA reauthorization Bill eight, ten engine maintenance as well as new wings for the eight ten forgetting to pressurize the cabin misspelling your airline name, falsifying FAA medical records in beards and oxygen masks, and we also have a mini airplane of the week, the x. p. two twin Mustang as well as some interviews from this year's dark fest, including one very special guest. This episode is again brought to you by the out. Stewart air show coming up November two through four twenty eighteen in Stuart Florida. The winner of the aviation trivia contest has been announced. He and remember used the geeks podcast promo code for a discount on tickets. Find more at Stewart, air show dot com. Welcome to the airplane geeks podcast. This is episode five hundred twenty two of the show where we talk, EDA Asian. I'm max flight in joining me is I David Vanderhoek our aviation historian David, hey, max, sorry, I missed last week is, but sometimes the office takes preference over reality. So I apologize to our listeners for not being here, but you have to do you have to do to pay the bills. So you can podcast because the economies of this is not all that great. That's okay. We understand. We'll just make you work twice as twice as hard. This episode that's all get. You caught up. Also with us is max trescott. He's host of aviation news, talk podcast. He's the two thousand eight CFI the year, and he's an expert on learning to fly or purchase a series aircraft. He max. As west. How are you? I'm awesome back for home here. Two weeks in a row. It's really nice to be back home for a change. Our guest. This episode is Dr Patty Clark. She's program chair the MSN aviation and aerospace, sustainability at the college of 'aeronautics over at Embry, riddle, air nautical university worldwide. She's also editor in chief of international journal of aviation management. Patty holds a bachelor of science in professional aeronautics as well as a master of air nautical science with specializations in management and safety from Embry riddle. She also holds doctor of philosophy in business administration with a specialization in air nautical science management from north central university. That's in Prescott valley Arizona. How patties aviation career started with active military service in nineteen seventy seven is an aircraft jet engine mechanic. She followed that career path through several United States, Air Force, reserve and guard assignments. After leaving military service, Patty continued to work with the US air forces an aircraft and engine air force engineering technical services specialist petty went on to earn her graduate degree. Ultimately her doctorate. She worked on DOD environmental and safety projects and held several director positions at Embry riddle along the way. Patty was named the executive director in airport manager for the Valdosta regional airport in Georgia. In two thousand thirteen Patty accepted a fulltime faculty position in the Embry riddle college of air Nautilus. Patty, welcome to the airplane geeks podcast. Thank you max. It's a pleasure to be here and thank you for having me on the program. We're really looking forward to it. Patty is has got some interesting things you may recall that we mentioned. I think last episode and upcoming program an online program for youngsters to introduce them. To aviation and Patty, you're one of the what two instructors in that course while I'm one of the to lead instructors and Linda Weiland as the other one, we were kind of the ones that developed it, but there several other instructors in involved in it in it's it's actually technically called a moot on massive open online course. Who's a fascinating concept. We're gonna we're gonna dive really deep into that coming up. We're also I'm also very excited to talk to Patti about jet engine maintenance, and she knows a lot about that from her air force days, particularly on the a ten, but all that's coming up. I, we've got some aviation news from the past week, so I'll ask is everybody ready? Ready? Ready from the west. I item comes from the Washington Post, the FAA reauthorization doesn't address airline fees but contain some winds for consumers. Yes, folks. It's time to take yet. Another look at reauthorization for the FAA funding runs out in. I think less than a week as we record the September thirtieth. So max trescott, what are we learning about some of the things that are in this reauthorization Bill, Alex tech reauthorization for one thousand dollars. It does feel like a game show almost. I think folks probably know that every five years the FAA needs reauthorization Bill from congress. And unfortunately, congress for many years doesn't succeed in getting the Bill written in time. So then they will do temporary extensions of three months and six months and so on, which have been systematically called kicking the can down the road meaning they're not dealing with it now, but they will eventually get to it. I really thought that that's what was going to happen again here there extension runs out here on September. Thirtieth just a few days away. And yet over the weekend, the congress released a joint Bill that came out of conference committee, and I believe there's a vote scheduled for on Wednesday. So I'm really shocked given how many other things going on in Washington right now. But this Bill is twelve hundred pages. And so of course, I sat and read the whole thing. Just came out so haven't had a chance to do that. But there are lots of things that are in it and things that are not in it. Probably the the biggest thing. The thing I see in most of the news headlines is that the transportation department originally had apparently proposed that they would be able to decide whether the four point six billion fees at airlines, collect year for baggage, changes of tickets, seat, assignments, all that they could determine whether those were unreasonable. Well, guess what they can't. So that did not that got cut from the Bill, which means the airlines will probably have another five years to make billions on all these silly little fuse that we all get used to, but they did put a whole lot of other things into the Bill. So some big, some small, for example, this was interesting. They would require airlines to row refund fees to passengers for things they don't receive while that's kind of basic who would have thought that would create an aviation consumer advocate. This one I love would allow flight attendants a ten hour, respiratory between flights were than eight hours from the time. They're like touchdown until their next takeoff Representative facia from Oregon said, mostly attendants were lucky that five hours and that's totally true. I was talking with a career gently when I was flying and they were pointing about the short night that they were going to have this whole eight hours from the time you walk off to the plane till the time you walk on the plane. That really probably boils down to, you know, five hours of sleep for for people. So that's a really good move. And interestingly, this one kind of surprise me, they have included a provision for a seat pitch. So they want the FAA to take a look at regulating seat size dimensions, something that the FAA had previously said, nah, that's that's not our job. And congress appears poised to tell them, yes, that is your job. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. In I had an Email come through here this morning kinda shows everybody's weighing in on this, which was how I knew that the Bill had been, you know, had finally come out of committee. It's from the academy of model, onyx, and it says, do you remember his contact congress today? Tell them to vote no on f. a. a. reauthorization act. And they said that model aviation hobbyists have been flying safely in the skies since even before the FAA was created. This Bill will deal a devastating blow to our hobby, and they go on to say that the Bill puts the model aviation community under the third of the FAA which means agency candidate time impose a digital regulations. In addition, the Bill specifically imposes for hundred foot altitude limit on model aircraft which by the way that that limit, I think has been applied to drones in the past, but it doesn't fly apply. Folks have been flying model airplanes under a community based organization such as the the AMA. So for exam. Apple, I'm allowed to fly my glider what I'm flying the AMA field higher than four hundred feet. I don't usually do that, but apparently the organizations concerned that there may be more constraints placed on mile aircraft. Some of the provisions in here are I think directly related to some of the dramatic incidents that have occurred and been reported widely. So for example, this Bill would prohibit passengers who have already boarded the plane from being bumped. We've seen the, you know, the infamous case of the the guy being dragged out. There are prohibitions against vaping on board. You can't put live animals in the overhead bin to there was of course the dog that suffocated the as a result of that some other under interesting things passengers must be allowed to check strollers when flying with a small child, paraded passengers can board ahead of others. There's just a wide variety of things in here. One particular interest is that the reauthorization Bill woods. 'cause the FAA to prepare. There for a return to supersonic air travel, and in fact create an office of space ports, so, but the the seat space issue that that's another thing that you know you've. We've talked about a number of times that with ranking space with and seat pitch. Customers are getting so frustrated with that that congress is reacting to that. But I mean, Patty, kind of something that you would normally expect to see if enough of the consumer interest is upset about a particular practice that congress is going to tend to respond to that elapse -solutely and I'm actually kinda glad. I mean, I think we've probably all are glad to cut to hear that that they are kind of pushing the FAA to look at the seat pitch because as consumers in the interesting max brought up not being able to take a passenger off the air. Plane. Once they're boarded, you know, this overbooking issues in how they handle are actually quite a problem, but seat pitch. I mean me thinking about it, you cram so many people in little tubes, you know, on top of each other in load capacities, eighty ninety percent. Well, guess what? You're going to have problems. So I think they're really does need to be something done with the seats pitch issues. How about the. Venables on planes give the fact here. I know it figures on. Sorry. Dogs and yes, but dogs. That they should not be in overhead bins. Have no idea what people would be thinking to do that. I mean, you know, I've seen plenty of Fluffy's in whatever on the point that they usually put him under the seat, but that's that that should be regulated that they have to be of certain size in only fit under the seat. I can't believe people would do that. But then again, you know, people do a lot of things. I don't know. Anything in here that is of particular interest to you that you've seen so far from this Bill? Given our other show, I mean it the authorization Bill has a big affect on what we talk about on our Fridays, which is you a visa and drone authorisation and registration of UNLV's. And this is where maxes Email from the American Academy of model. 'aeronautics comes in is there is a urinating for every aircraft that's flying international airspace to be registered and to follow the regulations set up by the FAA. And that includes model aircraft now because and the drone operators professional drone operators are if they're going to be flying in zero to four hundred space and. We're going to be registered. They feel like the models will also need to be registered. So that will be a real challenge going forward to see what that balance will be because it the the drone operators are the ones actually insisting on there being registration, not the not the models that aspect of the drone reauthorization and the private program that we talk about a lot, which is the FAA working with private organizations to come up with regulations and letting letting the business world determine what they want to study and and the FAA taking a back seat to letting them come up with what they think of the regulations in the FAA sort of agreeing with it. So. I also noticed that there isn't a lot of talk about air traffic control. What do you think maxes? I noticed that the that seemed to be a hushed aspect of this, which is the privatization of ATC. Yeah, and I think they may have figured they wouldn't be able to get the Bill signed if they do that since that's such a divisive issue, but did some searching here because in the articles we've listed here, one of my pet topics was not listed there. One of which is guess what they're proposing to make a violation of federal law to make mobile phone calls while in flight which I think is great. And the other one, this cramped, my style a little bit choir. The FAA to establish reasonable measures to ensure people aren't pretending they're pets are service animals. So I'm worried about my service giraffe. You know the time line with her. Yeah, yeah. You know, you need the pony up on that story max. Okay. We need to quit horsing around there. You go. All right. Well, I think at twelve hundred pages, there's probably a lot more in there and maybe things aren't in there that will discover over the next few days maybe over the next few weeks or months. They think these things tend to be not completely understood in their entirety when they get past sometimes. So. So we'll see, but it should be a fun ride. Well, let's move on in. We have a story. This is from the air force, moody, eight, ten engine maintainers. Make history. How petty is going to help understand what's going on here, but the moody air force base in Georgia has a Chievo this readiness level of General, Electric t.f thirty four engine so's the engine's power the the tens, and it seems that all t.f thirty four engines in the fleet are repaired to serviceable status. And I guess this is a a significant accomplishment to have them all at that serviceable. Status petty. Can you? Can you kind of tell us a little bit about what this means? Midi air force base, which happens actually to be next door to me here they have what's called a consolidated engine repair facility, which actually repairs engines for several organizations and across the fleet. But what they talked about was, I think they actually have a two hundred eighty percent spare war ready engine or were ready material right now, the only were head to have five, but it's some some way they have fourteen spares engines, meaning they have no backlog of work or that all these engines are repaired. It is quite a feat having worked on these engines for quite a while that they have that many actually ready in serviceable. Meaning there's a lot of mechanics twiddling their thumbs right now. I guess. Yeah, I guess in some ways that's good. That means that all of the l. the engines are ready to be used, how the t.f thirty four is interesting engine. The the commercial version of that engine is the CF thirty four which actually powers number of aircraft including the Bardia challengers CR Jay's the emir e one nineties and one ninety five's and also the Chinese komax the a RJ Twenty-one and it's really well known as a pretty reliable engine in its thrust class. I don't know Patty, do you know? Is there much of a difference between the commercial version and the in the military version of that engine? Well, there's not a, you know, as far as the core of the engine, it's pretty much you know, this is nineteen sixties technology actually in the core of the. Engine there, but the commercial versions do have more thrust. That was always an historically, I'm sure it's still a problem today. The thrust of the Tia thirty four was was always lower than of course those fighter pilots wanted. But you know, I think the commercial versions do have several thousand more pounds thrust than eastern in with time. They, of course, have modernized decision, and it has a lot of, you know, they've redone the hot sections. Compressors have had some upgrades in. I'm just going to throw a tidbit out there about the tea of thirty four from the engine from the air force per perspective. It was the very first engine in all the engines within the air force inventory that we started doing any kind of parts tracking and any kind of engine monitoring. It was kinda Guinea pig for a lot of things. We learned a lot. We scratched our head a lot. And we actually, as I said, we've learned an awful lot that has contributed to that continuous improvement on that engine does the maybe you don't know at this point, does the moody air force base there? I mean, do they do overhauls repairs of just a t.f thirty four engines or do they kind of they don't. That's the over only engine. They actually do this and the old term leaves that he is with the thirty four, what's tearing it down the bug dust, and then you start back cover. And really, that's that's quite a. But for the most part in a nominally within the air force to do it at what we call the organizational or field level, the t.f thirty four was one of the few engines that was ever the maintenance was ever done that way. Usually the older engines went back to the DEP, oh, per se to be reworked, or they were done in a modular concept where you changed out the compressor module or the hot. Section lodge will, but it wasn't. I mean, this is an engine that they start tearing it down and you go all the way down breaking cases apart and putting them back together. So the only other engine say, well, they have the helicopters. They've got eight sixties and got one thirties out there, but those are pretty much just on condition cutting abatements that is done on that they do on those those engines. I see. I see. Now the ten is in other news is as well. We see that the Senate David has approved some funding for repairs. This is funding for, I guess, wing upgrades for the eight ten. Did we talk about this once? I think maybe we did. We've been talking about winging re winging eight tenths for a while. Now. They purchased like twenty six new wings couple years ago, and it's sixty five million dollars for the wings. The weakest structural point on the ten is the wing because that's where all of the ordinances carry. They needed to be rewind and because of the age of the aircraft you're talking about the newest aircraft are nineteen eighty block. It's an upgrade on a fund and it's proving that we're going to have a tens around till the end of time, even though they should have gone out the window a couple of years ago, but that's just me, yeah. All right. Saying it isn't so. And I'm just kind of at just clarify David. I think they are actually, they procured or they're actually as hundred sets of wings that are the last time I knew they were sitting at Warner Robins in the sixty. Five million will help them, of course, bring them in the depth. Oh, replaced those wings in it is very true that after forty years of flying, those wings are tired. All right. Well, this was a Senate measure, and we understand that that goes to the house of representatives now and we'll see what what they do with it. There's a fair amount of support in congress. I think for the ten has been for for quite a while, there have been efforts to retire it, but it just doesn't ever seem to happen he. And of course there are two sides to that and our our listeners very passionate about the ten in many cases, and I, I mean, it's got a well-deserved reputation. So we'll see what the house does with that, but now we have, I don't know, maybe a couple of items from the what were they thinking section of the of the news max trescott airline passengers bleed from ears and nose after crew forgets to pressurized cabin. How can that be your? I think this comes under the category of hoops, some this person back for training. This is just me almost inexcusable air if it was pilot air. I mean, I suppose that there is a mechanical issue that could have occurred, but you think the crew would have noticed it before they got folks up so high that they had trouble breathing. But let's just back up a little bit. This happened in India just a few days ago and it was the second largest airline. They're called the Jet Airways. So not a, you know, two bit operation. They've got one hundred twenty three aircraft in service, two hundred and thirty on order fleets, mostly seven thirty sevens. They're based in Mumbai. And they had a flight recently that took off from Mumbai and as passengers you know, started to complain. Some of them had your pain. Some of them were bleeding from from their knows one of them says, you know bleeding from, you know, various ears and, and you know, all kinds of places pretty terrifying. People look at some of the videos that were shot inside the the plane here looks like the failed that plane failed depressurize and yet kind of suggested maybe the crew forgot to to do it. It's just such a a basic thing to do if you're flying jet. Airliner thinking about my training, I just finished it. We could go with the Cirrus jetpack in Knoxville and pretty clear on every checklist we turn on that bleeders switch. And the believe there, of course, comes from the engine just before the combustion section, high pressure hot air, they condition it, they send it into the cabin and that essentially becomes the the high pressure. You know cabinet. In this particular case, sounds like that switch may have been off in that basically use the outflow valve on the pressure vessel open, which means cabin camp pressurize. And so the high climb, the thinner the areas people have hard time breathing. It's really pretty an excusable. If this was truly pilot air, the plane that turned around a back to Mumbai landed. Medical help was given to thirty of the hundred sixty six passengers on board. So it's definitely as you said, max y, what were they thinking or more likely they were not thinking, yeah, there's some reports that when the oxygen masks dropped that at least some of them didn't have oxygen flowing through them the airline disputes that, but I'm sure they can determine that. If you know if that's an additional problem here that's very concerning, but the aircrew has been taken off active duty as you might suspect. This sounds like a process. I mean. He in order to forget to do things. That's why you have checklists, and you know that kind of approach. So if something that is always supposed to be done is not done, kind of suggests some sort of a process problem, but it makes me wonder if they were distracted as they were going through the checklist, or if what at one of the folks up front was daydreaming. I agree. This is something that's clearly on the checklist. I would imagine that both pilots use that checklist more than five hundred times. Maybe that's part of the problem I think, is humans. Once we do the same thing too many times it starts to feel a routine. We don't pay quite the attention that we need to pay to it. So yeah, this is really unfortunate that that it happened this way. Now we have another story from the same. What were they thinking department? This is something it's all over the mainstream media social media. We see photographs of a cafe, Pacific airplane, newly painted airplane in on the side of the fuselage. There. There is so large logo cafe Pacific, except a Pacific doesn't have an f.. Misspelling year. Airline name seems like that's a big goof. I this. This is another one that I, I'm really at a loss to understand how that could happen. And I want I want an answer to a question that I've asked hundreds of times already. Yeah, and that is, was it just the one side. Yeah, I don't know because they're, they're, we've only seen the picture of the one side and clearly it's the spacing issue because I mean, they knew they, they knew they were missing a letter because there's a bigger space between Cathay Pacific than they're normally is. So it was whoever was masking it left out the letter, but I still wanna know if it was it was done on the other shot on the left side besides the right side. Yeah, that would tell you something significant. Now I went and looked on YouTube for some videos of airliners being painted, and we'll put some links to these in the show notes because it it kind of gives you a together. They give you a good understanding of how the colors stripes the logos, and all that are painted onto the site of these things. One is actually it's a time lapse video of jet stars. I Boeing seventy seven Dreamliner so it's more than just a paint shop. But at the end of it shows the paint shop, and there's also nice video of is Yana airlines, a three eighty being painted. And you know, when you look at the process for, you know how this happens and the the, the templates, things are spray painted by hand essentially. So I mean, a lot of people have are going to see the, you know, the result of the paint job as it's happening, not the mention when it's completed and it just it just amazes me that no one looked up and said, hey, that's not right. I think the air was just standing in plain sight, and I think sometimes that's an easy way to high things. If you're just so used to seeing the same thing, you start to ignore it. And I bet there must have been a number of people that walked by him. Just kind of glance in the up that's our logo didn't look any any further to it. Still wonder this problem. Highly unlikely but could sophisticated publicity. Department has said, let's generate some social media buzz. Let's go ahead and paint one of our airlines wrong and see what kind of you know, viral, you know, passing of this we get along. I mean, that's pretty extreme, but that that was just kind of the back of my mind is one remote possibility do, do you know how many hours it takes the mask out those letters? It's a lot of time. So I, I mean, to do that kind of masking, even as a model or for me to airbrush would be several hours not dementia, and that's just on a small model airplane to do that masking and screw up that badly into half to basically take the paint down to the metal so they can reapply the new logo, the corrected logo. I don't think social media organization could justify that kind of cost. This is this is a costly. Screw up aiming compared to getting five or ten million views. It might be cheap. But five or ten million views of people who don't normally fly Cathay Pacific Airways. I question I've affirmed believer in social media, but like, okay, how many people are going to wanna get on your airplane if you can't even paint your own logo. Right. Exactly. I think that would be the the problem with this. If I can't trust the maintenance people, should I be trusting the pilots? All right. Another story this from the Atlanta Journal constitution, delta pilot, accused of lying about mental health issues to keep flying. This is this is not good at Delta Airlines pilot has been indicted on charges that he falsified FAA medical records that are necessary to obtain an airman medical certificate. This is not good. No, this is an outgrowth of a probably the Germanwings flight that occurred in two thousand fifteen where co-pilot who had mental health issues crashed the airplane committed suicide and kill everyone. As a result of that, the FAA and department of transportation have been looking at ways to cross match databases in the US defined people who might have mental health issues but are trying to obscure them. And so four people were indicted and a US district court here in San Francisco last month for them airline pilots at this particular one was highlighted in the Atlanta Journal constitution article because he flies for a delta which is based there. I did look up some of the names and one of the other gentlemen here in California flies for for south west. So these are folks that are, you know, fly for majors with good jobs who apparently lied on their medical applications. And of course, making a fraudulent statement on your medical application, or even for example, on I across when you're taking. Check, right. If you were to say that you have more hours than you actually have. That would be a fraudulent statement which could result in a federal crime. So in this particular case, what they determined was that all four of these people had been getting help from the department of veterans affairs, and then when they reported on their FAA medicals what these VA disability benefits were they made up something else. So for example, this was particular said that the pilot had some type of major depressive disorder, and yet he told the FAA that the treatment had been for new strain and that tonight is and I believe he was a a military formerly military pilot, I believe, which is why he would have been getting treatment through the the VA. So I think we've talked before about how in the past pilots who had alcoholic problems would try to hide that from the airlines and these days it's possible to get treatment and still keep your. Job. I suspect there's still a fear that have for mental health issues that pilots might not be able to keep their jobs if they reveal any types of, you know, treatments they may have had for for mental health. So unfortunately, it's people got caught perhaps in Iraq in between a rock and hard place if they felt that they couldn't disclose this information and still keep their jobs as it is, it looks like they will lose their jobs for not having disclose it information in. There's possibility of jail time, right? If they're convicted understand maximum sentence five years, five years and fine of two hundred fifty thousand dollars. It's interesting in this particular case, the pilot that worked for delta was released on a ten thousand dollar bond. So that's pretty low. I would kind of guess that he's not going to get anywhere close to the maximum penalty, but you know, that's that's a tough way to end a an airline career at the age of thirty nine with a possible felony on your record. All right. One last item is from avoir. Maybe David Lee happy about this one, David, you still have your beers, right? I do. Well, max trescott. Why is that an issue. Well, it depends whether or not David has been, you know, wearing oxygen mask when he's been flying planes. So David, have you been wearing oxygen masks? No. But if I was wearing noxious mask, I would be not be wearing a beard. Okay. Well, there is a study which apparently has just come out which apparently contradicts the long held belief that having a beard and wearing action mask are incompatible with each other. So some study was done recently and said, guess what? This is actually not a problem. So apparently airline pilots now, no longer have to worry about that. You know, when they're deciding whether to have a beard or not. Yeah, web describes this this study from the environmental medicine physiology unit at Simon Fraser university. That's in Vancouver, and I like this. It says delivery of oxygen was tested by putting three groups of bearded men stubble medium length and. Bushy do a chamber simulating depressurisation out dude. And yeah, I guess they found that having facial hair doesn't affect the oxygen flow, and I think they're often things that just get per perpetrated or perpetuated. Rather, you know, for years people, you know, classic one that I always here, so you can't operate an engine over square. In other words, the amount of pressure. Pardon me. The RPM can't be higher than the the benefit pressure. And yet that only place to radio engines which they stopped building about seventeen years ago. Some of these things just stick around for a long time and how many nautical people go scuba diving all the time where oxygen masks and happier. I don't see anybody say, well, you can't be a scuba dive because you because you have a beard and you're still using full face mask. So it does. You know it? It's one of those, I guess, old wives tales, and I think it's basically because the air force want people clean cut and I just realized I. Headed right. The originally I started to say, which is that people say that you can't operate over square, which will be having manifold pressure that's higher than the the RPM when in fact, you can actually have any combination that shows up in the peo- h. and use that. We're speaking with petty Clark. She's program chair, college, 'aeronautics, Embry riddle, aeronautical university, Patty again, thanks for coming on the airplane geeks podcast. Let's talk about this Mook. This massive open online course originate from the women in aviation international chapter Embry riddle, right, right. We started a chapter of lemon and aviation international chapter at worldwide. I guess we're in the door third year now and we actually were the very first virtual chapter because in worldwide, we're actually truthfully all over the world. So it's a, it's a virtual organization. We do have some people headquarters, but most of us are dispersed. So the the moot kind of came about as a way because we are all over the world. It is difficult for us to as group. Do a girls in aviation day, which is held every year in the fall this year on not over the thirteen to be able to do some kind of event for us as a group was difficult. So we came up with the idea since we teach online courses, we offer mooks on a regular basis. We thought about and came up with the idea to build a moot that was targeted or aimed at children. And of course girls, but this is open to children. Eight to twelve is our is our target group, but anybody actually can register each just a basic information course on parts of airplanes, names of things on the airplane. You know the forces on flight. I think we have a helicopter unit a helicopter module in them. We also have one on space as well. So it's just an introduction as a way to try to get the word out about aviation into young. Groups because we obviously are not are. We don't see. Suddenly research tells us that we're not attracting people in the numbers. We need to in aviation with the pilots or mechanics, or you know, dispatchers, air traffic, control whatever the case may be. You know, we're just not drawing enough people and and you know, speaking with younger groups in aviation, groups of whatever put we found was that people don't understand the industry, so therefore they don't talk to children about it. So this was just kind of our our way of kind of reaching out and hoping we can get more kids involved. We did run this glass Gier we've had. I think we had about four five hundred total last year. And I think the last time I looked, we were up over three hundred enrollments this time. Our goal is fifteen hundred. So were real. If we get there. What's the length of the course? Well, it's actually set up these modules which are, you know, they're self paced. We estimate it would take about six hours for a child work through it. There's some reading or some visuals n. h. one of the sections of the modules has an activity, they may build an airplane, whatever we, we give them the information to do it, or it might be a puzzle, but it's not more than about six hours, but the the courses open from October the through the twenty third. So students can register now. And then anytime after the they can take the course once they finish it up, they can't qualify. They can get a certificate for finishing the course. So it's it really is to the kids how long they wanna take to to finish it up in kinder- kits enroll themselves. Do they need a parent involved in that process? I'm glad you brought that up mex-. This was something as as a university, this. Kind of a a different path for us last year when we kind of went down this road of understanding when you're dealing with children in right police. Oh, is a mother? I truly respect this disappearance that we have laws that about children in being online in their privacy in the right privacy. So since it is aimed for children between eight and twelve, they have their supposed to be and should be enrolled by parent parents Email address. So there's not any opportunity for any kind of bad behavior were were biding by the laws. So it's it's pretty strict. And thankfully, the canvas people that we deliver the course from the platform, they were very savvy on what we needed to do and kinda made sure week we had all the TS crossed in the is dotted so to speak. And how did you arrive at the specific topics that are going to be covered in the course? What was that. Process? Well, that actually was a little bit probably more of the easier aspect because the women in avian Asian international, they used to actually have some activities that were aligned with girls scout day, which I think that's a March and some of these activities were actually included in there. So we specially like the parts in a the forces on flight four forces. But I think we came up with a helicopter in this space because we, you know, there's so much more than just flying airplane. We wanted to tell him about helicopters which are not normal in any case, but still fly and to understand that space has some opportunities as well. So it was actually, I guess I would say I was the project manager on this, but at brought together the group and said, what do you think? Here's some ideas and I just set them off running. So that's kind of how we got there. It's kind of a tangential issue, but I'm curious the mooks of massive open online course. Is that just a concept or is there some bike official Mook site or something like that? Well, now it's a, it's actually a concept and I wanna say Harvard or Yale, where the very first ones to offer this concept for classes in this usually a free. You know, again, it's open. It's online ninety. Nine percent of him I think are more are free, but it's a concept and it's offered by different entities in different ways. You know, we use canvas is kind of our platform. We use for our classes and Emery riddle, but they also have a free version are public access version, polled canvas dot net, but there's other other platforms out there. So the move has kind of just a concept really in, of course, we'll have a Lincoln the show notes to the website where you can. Little bit more and in register in all that. And that'll be one of the that'll be on canvas their website, so don't don't be surprised by that. If you're trying to register your child, won't be an ember riddle web site where you register. Yes, I don't be branded with all of our information, but yes, it's canvas dot net. And just as we're talking about mooks. I will just say were actually running another one that is focused more on adults that will start in the vendor. It starts nineteen member runs through to December, and that's our small unmanned. You AS unmanned system, small AS systems moot kissed really for beginners looking the kind of understand if that's something they want to get into or understand more about the regulations there. And of course, we, we offer these mooks one to to share expertise. But certainly our hopes is that we attract people into our degree programs as well petty little bit about the the courses you teach. I guess there's a couple airport, sustainability, environmental management, guessed that. That's actually I poet call. One of our office of professional education p. e. course we, we have several certificates in program SU there. Unmanned systems is a huge piece of that one, but there's are typically program with this one that that management twenty seven hundred. That's an airport management certificate. I'm sure it has a has a different name than that, but there's about six courses in it for people. It's more of a professional development. This specific one talk more about the sustainability in the environmental management which somebody goes well, must lot of people say, well, sustainability is environment right while not really it is, but it isn't. But that course is, is geared toward people who are either in the airport industry or wanting to be are just learning. Again, just in handling their overall knowledge, I've taught that course several times. It's again, our one of our professional development courses. It's not one you would get credit for, I guess that's, that's the point. Are. You think airports are kind of stepping up to these types of issues, sustainability issues these days or making progress have a long way to go. Where do we stand right now with airports? I think it when you when you talk about airport since the stain ability, I often tell people that what I probably learned about sustainability. Initially, one was from parents, but then in the military of making things work without all the parts. But it was actually homed and perfected if that's the word from actually managing an airport in trying to answer all those needs with a limited budget. And so when we talk about sustainability, I think it's it comes down to every airport can make can make improvements and find ways to find efficiencies and improve processes immune to go back to that eight ten article that that talked about that continuous improvement. That's the whole really one of the underlying concepts of of sustainability is that you find way to keep him. Improving your processes and airports have have led a lot of ways. They've also lagged and some others. There's an old adage in the airport world that says, if you seen one airport, you've seen one airport and that's true because no tour like they don't have the same management system. They don't have the same issues from environmental to passengers to whatever the case may be. But I think there are some airports out there that are doing, I guess they're leading and providing examples for others. Dino seatac of course, probably. I think they're the first ones to develop what's called rather than a master master-plan. They're doing a sustainable airport, master plan, meaning that they're incorporating it into their planning aspect of how they will develop these projects from the stain -able perspective. And that's really what has to happen. It has to be frontloaded. So Seattle for San Francisco has led. In several areas. I think they're going to. They're looking to be our first carbon-neutral Boston, not so much in the south. Interestingly enough, we don't have any really wants to toe hold up that kind of the leaders. There Phoenix does a good job, but while but if you think about it, those are large airports that have the money to do these things. There are some smaller ones out there that are leading in areas, but I think as an industry aviator, we have, we have work to do, but all industries do, but I think it's the understanding piece that's gotta come first sustainability. You improve the environment by improving these processes in how you do things and how you make decisions. You know whether an understanding who your stakeholders are. Sometimes we forget to look outside the box and understand who's going to be affected by those decisions for the airports that are leading in this area. What is their motivation? Is it the moral imperative, or is there a. Economic imperative. Why are they taking action to become a more sustainable airport? I think it's all of those things. And if you think about a specially from Seattle have very progressive, very environmental in understanding sustainability and how they want to drive to better neighborhoods and better communities in better air and all those kind of thing. The communities have a lot to do with it because of of course, in the US sto- you know, ninety nine percent of our airports are still owned by the communities for the city's they reside in. So there's a lot of pressure from the communities. But I think you also have the leadership, you know is they have become more savvy and understanding that if you make better decisions on the front, and it's certainly going to be an economic impact later on, you're going to realize those officiency of pudding, say if you're replacing windows or building. A league designed building versus, you know, putting the minimal amount of money into it, or you know what kind of h. facs system are are put ever that you put in that those are decisions. If you make those now, you may caught the may cost a little more up front, but you're gonna realize the savings in the end. It's like changing to LED lighting on the runway. I couldn't believe the difference at the airport. When I managed poem, we out of desperation head to replace our runway lighting and we put LED the, you know, the savings was very substantial almost immediately that we could see, but it was more costly in the upfront. One topic relating to airports that we covered. I think it was a couple years ago now was the light pollution kind of issue his there been any progress on that front or airports, looking at the light that they sent up into the sky. You know, that's not something I've heard much about recently, so I don't know of a lot going on, you know, noise has kind of emerged again as as a problem because of again, we're, we've got more well. We don't really have more flights because they've cut back on some of these capacities. But we've changed routings you know, we're flying over places. We haven't before are certainly more concentrated routes. So the but the life pollution I haven't. Let's good point. I made you've made me curious. I haven't seen anything in a while, so I have to go look there. There's another course that you're teaching as well as that related to these issues. Well, that's actually part of the sustainability degree. The aviation in aerospace, sustainability degree which the first course we talked about is kind of a mini course that touches on some of these areas. But we have a whole degree program that's focused on aviation, aerospace organizations for that being airport, whether it be manufacturer, you know, part one of forty, five station OEM's or whatever the case may be that we all need to be thinking about, not just from how do we make more efficient engines in how they utilize fuel, or you know, the design, the next set of of wingtips and you know. You know, we find the weight saving, but the overall aspect that so from the designed to the end of it that kind of cradle cradle-to-cradle-concept that we are designing building, you know, flying and then retiring airplanes or parts or whatever the case may be with an eye to understanding what are we going to do with them in the end that it's not waste, and we use less hazardous hazardous material in making things safer procedures for people being equipment it, it's that holistic look at how can we be better what we do build great airplanes, but we can be better in these processes. We can take care of people better even down to paying better. This is all part of sustainability to create create sustainability. You've got to have three legs of the stool as we talk about, and that is economic leg, the environmental leg and the social leg. When. You can meet all those needs are find that sweet spot. Then you then you're sustainable. So we have, again, we have, you know, it's a twelve course program. This is our second year. I think we'll have our first graduate probably by December. We have some really good students have to say. I've been very impressed with were attracting the Boeing's Lockheed Martin Northrop. We have students from all over. I oughta those kind of organizations. So we're growing and innocent needed degree. It's more recognizable unfortunately, from a global perspective than here in the US. But I think we're, we're beginning to make inroads in those areas victory. Interesting. I think throughout my career, I think my observation has been that the design is more driven by. Lowering costs, lowering manufacturing costs, increasing performance of product, applying new manufacturing techniques, new materials to to achieve those things. But in this just might be because of my viewpoint being a little bit off to the side, I just didn't have a sense that there was a focus on what happens to this stuff later. What are the implications of all the carbon fiber structures that were that we're now seeing? Is that inpl- implication more environmentally friendly than aluminum or or less? So I have, I have no idea. Well, there there are, you know, with carbon fibers, we don't really know on some of those. We know that composites and fires and those kinds of things from smaller proportions in airplanes. I mean, even the ten has. Composite material on it that they don't react the same. Of course, as metals do you know we can recycle metals pretty easily composites, not so much. So what do you do with them when they're over with at this day in time, can recycle eighty ninety percent of an airplane by weight, but then there's a lot of things that are left when you talk about weight. I mean, what do you do with the interiors? You know, what do you do with those seats and those kind of things? How can we design better widgets of any sort. I mean, we've they've discovered. I think it was. I was in Belgium, you know, an interior that they're going back to using linen type material because it's a natural fiber in it's fire resistant to a certain extent too. So we're finding that sometimes it's not always innovation. Sometimes you need to look backwards a little bit to find the best solution. NHS. So really, sustainability is all about systems thinking in looking from beginning to end in any product or decision, even if you're just buying a new part, you may be forgetting a new bolt for an airplane. But if you have a choice of buying it from an overseas manufacturer for cheaper amount, but you don't know what those labor conditions are or how those people are paid, or if they're paid a living wage or you can buy it, you know, locally sourced regionally are even nationally and you can understand that supply chain, then that's a better decision. It's big, but it's not it's making its making logical in best decisions from beginning to end. Petty. You've really got me thinking about this now in ways that I did I haven't before well, good. That's the whole thing extra sky. What do you think? Oh, it sounds fantastic to me. I mean, it really makes a lot of sense. Yeah, it does. I say this degree is all about logic, really? Yeah. Well, in a way I guess most are in a sense, where can we find out more about the courses that we've been talking about more about Embry riddle, where can folks go to learn this now for the Mook? Of course you're going put us that. Yes, that late Inc for the degrees. Of course, if you just go to ER EU dot EDU, it'll pull up our homepage in. You can go to any of our three campuses, but we're in worldwide, and this is an MSN aviation in aerospace, sustainability. So it comes up pretty easily. And actually if he were type that in right now would probably bring the Meriva degree up as far. I know where the only one with that exact title and when we started the degree, the Rizzoli one other university that even taught a related degree pro and they were in the UK good. Now, maybe it's not fair to ask you to speak for all of them be real, but how is enrollment looking these days are, are we seeing more interest in the school is dropped off his the, the makeup of the of the students changing over time? Other trends that you see? Well, I think and again, you know, this is speaking from the perspective of a program ter I'm not the leadership, but I say the numbers and those kind of things we we see the overall picture what we're seeing strong enrollments. We had in probably two thousand thirteen fourteen. We did see some dips and and our enrollments, but we're really seeing a strong. Enrollments. I, I'm not sure. I wanna say we finished the year last year. You know, over eighty thousand enrollments that wasn't students that probably acquainted to injust in worldwide, probably around twenty three thousand students at any given time. And that's across three colleges. We have college of business college board science in college of 'aeronautics. But I think from the professional perspective, we are seeing students come back. You know, the the degree that I'm the program, tears aimed at that, that person mid level looking probably to move into a leadership program suburb. We're seeing strong results in there. We also are seeing younger students. There's a little bit of a change. I won't say a little bit. I think it's a lot of had this discussion with some brick and mortar, traditional student, our faculty members, excuse me, where they say that the online teaching is. Fad, but we're seeing and we offer still all modalities of teaching on ground in the classroom. We have a hybrid kind of eagle vision. We call it which it's video taught, but you would have a standard meeting every week and we have the the pure online. And I think today we're probably somewhere around ninety percent. The those class of all of our classes are taught online and we're seeing students who are younger coming in and where even kind of a kind of working to target that market into our worldwide online programs because maybe they can't afford to go to immer riddle campus and lived there, but they can live at home and take classes or they can start there and then they go finish their degree on a campus. But we're seeing just many more people find the convenience of being able to work an online course. You have a week. Eight don't have any demands of LA. How you have contribution dates, you need to contribute to the discussion, but they have a week to be able to do their work, and then they can still have families and they can still go to work and those kind of things. So we're really saying that we have such a electric and techno logical savvy population that that's truly spilling over very much into academia. It's probably I'm wondering, can I get a PHD online? Issur can. All right. So max, what would you get your if you did it online through memory. Well, that image riddle, dust still require that you have to come out for our program. You have a residency of like six weeks or something. What do you think max? What are you gonna go for? Well, I, I don't know. There's no PHD in retirement though. Aviation, but not retirement a hotel you? Hi. I'm thinking 'aeronautics engineering. I think that would be so cool. You know, as as an electrical engineer, it's like, oh, I'd like to know more about the 'aeronautics engineering. So signed me up Patty. Okay. Send us your information. We'll get you right in rolled that PHD as well. As well as long as I get to build an airplane as part of my final project. Oh, yes. That would be cool, right. All right. Well, hey, I idea for the the course that's coming up to we have been talking about which is titled aviation is your future. As I mentioned, we'll have a link to that in the show notes, but in addition, we'll we'll put in a redirect. So this might be easier to remember. So if if you go to airplane geeks dot com, slash aviation is your future. Just all one word, lower case. That'll that'll redirect you to that site where you can register for the course. So we'll give you that choice. There. Go to the show notes, airplane, geeks dot com. Slash five to two or go to airplane, geeks dot com. Slash aviation is your future fact. You can pause the podcast right now and shoot on over a great thing to do for your kids or if you know somebody that has some youngsters that might. Benefit from this kind of exposure to aviation, maybe you can suggest that to them. So really recommend it. This episode is brought to you by the Audi, Stewart air show to be held this November. Second through fourth in Stuart, Florida checkout Stewart, air show dot com to learn more in plan your Audi, Stewart, airshow experience. Now, as you'll recall airplane geeks teamed up with a steward airshow for a week of EV Asian trivia. Well, now the contest is completed in congratulations to the winner. Jamie McNally. Jamie has won tickets to the TD Bank dirty flight suit party. That's going to be held November second twenty eighteen at the Stewart air show how, again, learn more about the show at Stewart, air show dot com. Look for them also on Facebook in again, we're thrilled to be able to bring to you a special ticket offer to the air show. Use promo code geeks pied cast. When you check out to enjoy a special ten dollar ticket offer in that Stewart air airshow dot com. November two through four twenty eighteen at the Martin county airport with them field in Stuart, Florida. Patty, one thing that we want to do is you proposed. It's almost kind of a many airplane of the week, which is segment that we've done in the past not terribly recently, but I, you know something about an interesting Mustang that's being rebuilt not too far from you was David the jump into, but petty tell us about what's happening with this twin Mustang? Well, Tom Riley who is actually ever at the Douglas airport, which is probably about an hour and a half from where I live and actually was built as a military airfield years ago and has a great museum by the way a favor down there. But Tom Riley has been, I think he's been ten years in the making of restoring this x. p. eighty two twin months Tang and it's been about four, five years since I was up there, but it was just amazing. And I'll tell you that taking students. It's in and I was teaching a a, a safety, mechanical and structural factors course. So this was very relevant to them, but the students to actually go up there and see, here's an airplane in there remaking. Here's what a lightning whole looks like in in these older airplanes were making stringers and they were explaining and everybody was volunteer up there, and it was just amazing to see the work, the craftsmanship and the professionalism that went into this to this project. And as I read the article, I try to keep up with his blogs, but I'm been behind, but I guess they've actually got finished and he received his airworthiness certificate, gets the right the day before Oscat started, so they didn't get take it up there this time because they needed to fly fifteen hours, but I'm gonna go over there. I'm sure he's flying several different airplanes. Over there, but it was just just kind of fascinating really kind of see when I saw it. It was still in a lot of pieces on the ground. So it's come a long way. Gave it a little bit about the twin Mustang. What is this thing? Well, you take much Tang in. You glue another much Tang to it and you get a twin Mustang. Although that's probably what most people think it is. Actually, it's got very interesting history. Most people when they see a Mustang, they think of your typical p fifty one d with the bubble canopy and the kind of Mustang you see all the time and and when people say, fifty one, it's the image that comes to mind. There was a lot of other variants. One of the most important variants doesn't get a lot of notoriety was the p fifty one eight, which was eight, lightweight version of the p fifty one day. It was supposed to be a higher altitude interceptor. But from that came, the requirement of escort b twenty nine of very long range to Japan before we had the end of the war and what the. Crew North American did was they took the p fifty one eight and they built a new center wing section in combined to p fifty. One h is interesting enough. The originally the p fifty one. What what would become the p eighty? Two was powered by a Packard Rolls Royce Merlin engines. The right Merlin engine had to be geared because you would get counter rotating propellers on the aircraft and you would have a crew of two that could fly these long range missions to escort the b twenty nine besides the p fifty one age, they also got a fifty seven inch plug into the few slosh which was for larger fuel and internal radios, etcetera. Also the outer wings were reinforced so they could carry large air. Air drop tanks. So believe it or not. My co-host Mack said, is this actually a work of fiction, and I'm like, no, actually they built two hundred seventeen of them. Wow, they were the first aircraft in Korea to shoot down a Korean aircraft. They were primarily used as night fighters in Korea of the exercise gave the ability to carry the radars necessary. So one one cockpit held the pilot. The other cockpit held the radio operator, who would be the person operating the radar. So they could track the aircraft down and they did shoot. They were the first aircraft to shoot down a North Korean aircraft in the Korean war. They also were used in Alaska, and there's a very famous one which was a p fifty one b by the name of Betty Joe and Betty Jo flew nonstop. From Hawaii to New York in fourteen hours and it still is the it is the longest range. Longest distance still held today for a propeller driven fighter aircraft. Now, the world's record for the longest propeller-driven aircraft would be the rutan Voyager, which flu around the world, but the Benny, Joe is safe in sound. She went on to do some testing for NACE a, which eventually became NASA and then ended up at Wright. Patterson air force base. And I will provide a photograph of Betty Jo for the show notes to max. There is another f eighty two at the air force museum that was originally flown by that organization called the confederate air force. They, unfortunately, it was as a war bird in seventies and eventually. A major accident and the confederate air force wrote it off in sold it to another organization, and that organization was eventually sued by the air force. So the air force museum recovered that airframe restored it. And that f eighty two g is painted like a night fighter, and that's also on display as the air force museum. So there's three f eighty twos that Yar wear of. There's only one that will be flying or has flowed, and unfortunately wasn't able to get dodge kosh, but it is the prototype, the x. p. eighty two. What she'll discover is the the PD to slash f eighty two is in that timeframe where we changed designations from pursuit aircraft to fighter aircraft. So you see, Betty Jo is considered a PHD to be with the Rolls Royce Merlins. The other one is in. F eighty two g and believe it or not the air force decided that it didn't wanna spend the money on royalties to royals Rolls Royce. So the later versions of the f eighty two's head Allison engines, which were more powerful than the Rolls Royce engines and less expensive. 'cause we weren't Packard, wasn't having to pay royalties to royals Rolls Royce. So that's a little brief history of the p eighty two otherwise known as the twin Mustang. Wow, see what you started. Patty. Absolutely fascinating. Very cool. Very cool. Thanks, David, that's and so Tom Riley has a blog I think is Patty mentioned. We'll put a link to that in the show notes, and you can check out that as well. Now a little bit of what's up with the geeks. I will start with max trescott anything new aviation wise and your world? Well, we have a fatal accident at my home airport, fourth of September. So just a couple of weeks ago and it was the first one that had occurred since I believe twenty eleven about seventy years since we've had a a fatal. And I thought about it today because I was out flying with a student pilot in a Cirrus are twenty. And in many ways we were flying essentially the same profile that the Mooney pilot flew who died, which is really what made me think about it. But he was from out of the area. He was an angel flight, a pilot, bringing a couple people in for treatment at Stanford hospital. He had trouble spotting the airport, possibly because there was a scattered layer fog in the morning across the bay, and he missed his turn to final. And so the tower Gema you know, it turned back toward the final. So even when he was two, three miles away from the airport. He wasn't lined up. He was landing runway one, three, which we almost never use, say down sloping runway. It's it's got a higher dyke in front of it. So people end up a little bit high as they go across it. And he also had no headwind all to shorten his Atlantic distance. It was a direct cross win. We had firstly the same identical conditions today. And so it's kind of interesting with this student pilot. She did a really great job of handling, but there were definitely times when you know we had to apply a lot of breaks to be able to land in the twenty five hundred foot distance that we have on that runway. This particular pilot apparently bounced at least once maybe twice. I haven't seen the preliminary report yet, but those are the reports that I've heard from people who were there. And then he said that he was going to go around in that he has he'd come into fast and unfortunately, he apparently mishandled his his go around and crashed almost immediately afterwards in the pond. That's the. The the end of the runway. So for me, I think just kind of highlighted the importance for pilots to dente fight early anytime they have unstable approach, either high or they're a little bit fast or maybe they've got a high descent rate, maybe they're not lined up perfectly with the runway. And if you have any of those kind of conditions just go around, you know, do it, do it early, not every landing is meant to be. It's only gonna cost you five minutes to come back around and you know, in this case it would have saved the guy's life. So anyway, it was. He was a little moving to just think about being an almost exactly the same situation as gentlemen was a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, very sad. And he had a couple of angel flight passengers with him. Did he? They were in the rear seats. He had offered for one of them to to sit up front. They declined, and that's what saved their lives. Because the front of the airplane was essentially destroyed and they were able to get out of the back with some minor injuries. Okay. Thanks for that. All right. As we mentioned last week, Brian attended the dork fest, twenty eighteen event at LAX. He met a few listeners past guests. He says, now, Brian central hung, some recordings just minutes before we started recording the show. So we're going to listen to these, but we have no idea what Brian or anybody else's going to say. So hopefully they won't get us into trouble. But Brian does start off with the kind of an introduction to the event, I guess. So let's listen to Brian. Hi maxim, fellow co-hosts. I was fortunate enough this weekend to be able to participate in dork fest, two thousand eighteen. If you're unfamiliar with Doric fest, it's plane spotting, event put on by Brett Schneider of cranky, flier cranky cuts. Here's check out the show nuts for more information on the event. And if you have a chance to attend next year, please do. So it was an awful lot of fun with my recorder in hand. I was able to conduct a few interviews apologies in advance for the poor audio quality as we were standing under one of the runways at LAX, and it was very windy for recording purposes for longtime listener. So the show there is a very special recording. I was able to capture as soon as you hear the voice, you will know who I'm talking with, and it wasn't Dan Webb, although he was there and we did get a chance to talk, but he wouldn't allow me to record his voice to two potential issues with his current employer. But it was really great catching up with Dan max. I was also able to ask about his mustache. And he was clean shaven, but he said it will return again for mauve ember. I hope you'll enjoy listening to these recordings as much as I enjoyed making them for you. Without further ado here, few of the interviews I conducted a dork fest, twenty eighteen and I'm sure the rest will air on next week show. Fly safely. You're contributing editor and sometimes co host Brian. Wow, Dan, I would love to run into Dan. Okay. So let's listen to the first interview. Hi, Brian, I'm with was her Matt and Matt, you've to special guys with you here today? Checking out airplanes my dental twins, almost three years old Cameron Devon, and they are probably youngest dorks geeks here yet. Right now seems like it. So there's probably fifty seventy five people here just hanging out into note in the park. Yeah, I fair Sussman just watching planes. So how have you been listening to the show? I just kind of stumbled upon this whole group probably six months ago. Okay. I'm pretty heavy travel for work and pleasure myself and I've done, you know, the bigger Facebook ones like the points guy lounge and things of that nature. But as I kind of gravitate and meet other like minded people, they turned me onto guys like you and dorkcast and everything else. So that's why we're here and the wife gets two and a half hour break. Awesome. You're talking earlier you travel for work? Yeah. We have a delta jet taking off, right? And that's the breast cancer jet looks like. You get to spend a fair amount of your time when the United as well. Right, correct. Yeah. I'm based here in LA and United pretty much anywhere. I need to go with the exception of Portland, Oregon, there's no direct which makes me angry but stopping in San Francisco's kind of grind. But yeah, I do six to eight to ten trans cons year, my corporate office in New York, and then I travel everything west of Denver and Dallas to Seattle and back. And then a couple international flights here. Familiar with getting Portland tonight chose to go through Seattle to get there. A few more miles doing it through San Francisco. I've had to bite the bullet a few times and and be a quote, unquote, normal traveler, and. It happens. Yeah, sides of people here and looks like some free swag. Airplanes. You know, I think the boys are going to have an in and out shake, we'll get the wife approved shakes and fries. That way she won't have to make lunch when I get home. When I think you know, these kids are pretty pretty pumped every time to see a plane fly over our house because we're in kind of a LAX traffic pattern down in the south bay. So they're actually being quite good. You can probably tell everyone that they're not being rambunctious at all. They're just kind of happy as can be this at the planes. That was the idea. There's another one going over Henry. Thank you so much again, nice meeting you having me. Oh, great. Great. Great. Thanks, Matt. Thanks for being a listener. All right. Let's see what Brian's got for us. Next. I'm here with in from are Tony, welcome to the show. Thanks for having me or the possibly one of our listeners. So it isn't familiar with flavor at our twenty four. Can you give a description of what it is at where people can find? Absolutely. So we're alive tracking service. We take the information that comes out of the aircraft had combined with all sorts of scheduling databases and things like that to create a moving map of aircraft around the world. So we're, we're following closely today at LAX. We were online Klay twenty four dot com. Or we've got an app or Android app that you can download for free, and then we offer subscription as did you know upgrade your experience to to give you more. Africanus, looking for? Yeah, they probably should have been. A better interviewer research. I think someone from Renner twenty four before I just can't from member. We'll see. We've been here before exact right, agree talking with you. Use them enjoy the service. For talking with us. Well, thanks for having me. Cool. All right. Next we have well, I don't know why we have. Let's give it a listen. I'm here with Nick Benson of jet tip. Welcome to the show. Thanks, thanks for having me what is to believe it or not. I'm familiar with the service running. Oh, that's completely find. Jet tip is a smart flayed alert service. It's a run from the perspective of of an aviation enthusiast. So when an interesting aircraft has come into your airport via to an unusual, the version. And equipment substitution. A retro jet, anything like that? If it's unusual and coming to your airport, we'll send you a texture Email about it. Yeah, we've got into rival departure board also that has filters for an f. from an antique perspective. So if you just wanna see all of the heavies that are coming to your airport, all international airlines, different filters for that. If you just wanna see the outlier flights, it's got to filter for that too. And you do commercial only or. It's mostly commercial stuff. It's going to be the same things that are available on any of the other flight wear flight radar twenty four. We're abiding by the same list of the same block list that they are. Okay. So it's a trackable flight. Obviously, military operations, you'll have to go to eighty SP exchange or something for some of that stuff. But as far as commercial stuff, airliner movements. Yeah, there's nothing else like it took been around been around for about a year. Okay. Yeah. So it's really. Ten years? Yeah, it's still relatively new. So yeah, it's available at all major airports in the United States and Canada. We've got something over. Beautiful. Japan. Dreamliner just flew over that was coming to your airport, and they usually didn't. You'd get a text or Email about it. It's pretty cool to good service. It's a, it's exactly what I wished I had a few years ago when I started getting into f- geeky seriously, and I just kind of built what I wanted now anyone can get a subscription to it so, and it can be found that yet jet tip dot net. Perfect. Awesome. Thank you so much. Hurry jet, Kip dot net, Heddon heard of that before going to have to check that out. All right. Here's one more from Brian. I have come across someone truly special, and I'm sure longtime listeners of the show will recognize the voice immediately. Courtney, welcome to the airplane geeked. Courtney, welcome to the airplane, geeks, podcasts at it. It's always been that difficult to say fact. That's why we chose it was a, it was a a practical joke that kept trying to play on max, but he kept saying crackly. So the name just kinda stuck. I was actually planning on being then Jeff cantor you can't. That's the whole, the old joy, airplane, Keith casts is we used to take max been doing those, but those are the best part. We used to wait for the outtakes, but but yeah, I just saw, you know, episode, five hundred. What are we at now? Five tally fifteen? No, I I can't believe it and we were having this conversation before. I mean as much as those around of those around the airplane geeks podcast has have kind of been able to bask in the glory. Max has been doing this for ten years. Right? Like you said it's your it was your idea, airplane podcast. Not really. It was my dear to have Maxwell. The work. And he did, and he still continues to do any wheel doesn't so good. You figured it out out how to do the work. Well, I showed up much much later and yes, I said before the show that I'm truly amazed over how much work does when we basically said and continued continually amazed by how much he he does. Well, now you just need to move in the YouTube and then your Netflix show then real world. There you go. This is your first time here Thorpe fist kit is I've been meaning become just never the schedules never align. You know, you travel so much that it's tough on a weekend to to either be in the place you need to be. But the convention starts tomorrow in Long Beach. So I was able to to tie this onto that and listen to airplanes fly overhead and smell the smell the burning rubber from from touchdown. The winds just right. So it's it's great. This is what we do. Right, pretty fun. This is the heroine for us. Aviation addicts. So when you started the show ten years ago, did you really think it'd be continuing for ten plus years? No, God, no. No. Why who in their right mind would do that for ten years man. He's not in. No, I I mean, I think that's kind of the beauty of it, and I think that's why max has been so successful with it because it was never a plan to there was never long-term plant, you know, that's that's the beauty of it in that, you know, we wanted to talk airplanes. We wanted to talk about things that were going on. And so once a week we got together and then the next week we figured, let's get together and talk again and then ten years later here, right? Max is still doing it. So I mean, that's that's a big reason. I think. No, that the rubber I thought I thought a car going down the highway had a like a belt brave yourself, and they're like near played lands. I smell that like the winds are just right. For this, don't have smell cast every once in a while. We'll catch a good whiff of burning rubber. Definitely a another aviation smell since Asian, but there are probably what hundred hundred fifty. I guess most of them are are with us, but yeah, honored fifty people hundred people. Yeah, definitely. I always expected. There's a great turnout. So getting back to the show is this wondering there've been a bunch of co set of come gone over the years? What it? What do you think of how the show is all from what you imacs originally started? It's all one that the success, the version of how things move around. You know, it's, it's all one thing and that those who have the time, the ability are willing to put in the work in and add value to the conversations. Just do rob Mark and Dan Webb or kind of ones that I kind of pass it off to force max just kinda built just great people all around. Them through the years. I don't know. I mean, this is exactly what it was supposed to be. I guess never. There was never. There's never even one vision, you know, although. God bless max for for putting up with it for putting up with all of us for for the ten years. But of course you're crushing offloaded dreams right now by saying that there was no grand vision because here we are thinking that there was this master plan to rule the aviation podcast universe. You just saying to just happened? Yeah. If if there was a grand vision, world domination would've been about four years ago. Yeah, we wouldn't have settled for anything less. All right. Let's been so great meeting you and having this little chat. We're going to have to have you on as a as a guess I need to. I'm sorry, I missed the five hundred. I've been duly chastised by several people. I, I should have been there and I blew it. So I apologize to max for that and the rest of the group. But I just I'm tickled pink that you guys, I still confused, but tickled pink that you guys are still going and there's an active community. That's where it was all about. I think it's fantastic. Yeah. And the other podcasts, are those been spawned salt of this as well? That's right. There's only least half a dozen podcasts that I mean, if if the ultimate goal is ruled domination, you know, inspiring others to dominate their own worlds. That's that wasn't even conceived up. Right? So that's that's absolutely fantastic. Maybe maybe a little bit of legacy that that max will be able to leave behind. You know, sixty years from now finally hangs up with. With that United seven thirty seven flying overhead gonna draw this segment interview to close Courtney. Thank you so much. Thanks, thanks. So your shirt. What? How Courtney, you know, corden I have actually never met, but for those of you who are newer listeners back in two thousand eight received an Email from some guy. I didn't know name Courtney said this domain name called airplane gigs wanna make a podcast, and he's absolutely right. There was never any never any plan we, we started off and when we reached our third episode, we said, well, you know what? Maybe this will actually work and kept going from there. So I'm really happy that Brian was able to meet Courtney hope heaven opportunity someday then yeah, we gotta get Courtney back on the show. Love to do that. David, would you think about, you know, listening to according to hear his voice? Yeah, it's funny because I lay ever got to do to episodes with them, you know, and and. He, he left the show with Dan and rob coming on just as I the day I did my first segment that I sent in, you know it was it's really kind of funny that you know we were like two ships passed in the night. I've been on the show with them because we he's been on anniversary shows. We never actually got to do a real show together. Well, maybe we'll change that someday. So with that though, I think we're going to wrap this one up. I guess this episode was docu Patty Clark program chair, the college of 'aeronautics Embry riddle, university worldwide petty. Thanks so much for coming on the show talking to us about what about the ten. That's always cool. Is I told you earlier? The ten is my my wife's favorite airplane. We somehow I've got a dig out the photo from the Pima Aaron Space Museum where she's got her arms. Lovingly wrapped around the the Gatling gun in the front of eight, ten. What she has great taste? Yes, yes. Well, I'd like to think so anyway. So again, tell us where we can find every riddle online. And as as I mentioned, you'll be able to go to airplane, geeks dot com. Slash aviation is your future and Patty, how about Embry riddle? Just in general, it said pretty easy. Just e. r. a you dot eighty. You will bring you to our our, I guess that's our university site. And then you can see the three campuses and our degree programs there tastic. Thanks again, Patty, you can find us at airplane, geeks dot com. If you wanna send us an Email, that's the geeks that airplane geeks stuck com. If you visit the website, you'll find the show notes for each and every episode. If you wanna go straight to the show notes for this episode. Well, that's at airplane. Gates dot com. Slash five to two. Now it's tell people where they can find us online in David Vanderhoek. Where do we find more of you? Well, you can find me on our various social media platforms and our slack listener team. If you wanna join our slack listener team center city mail to the geeks at airplane, geeks dot com, and you can join our high profile listeners in have lots of conversations. But besides that, you can find me on Twitter if you can spell Vanderhoek. And of course you can find me on Friday mornings with that guy max flight because he doesn't get enough podcasting during the week, cocky about drones on the UAB digest in max trescott about you. Well, people can always find me at aviation news, talk dot com and click on contact with the top, and you can send me an Email just wanna mention. There's a new episode out of this week. I had about a three week gap. Explain this the details as to why I wasn't able to shows in that episode, but go in gory detail about what it's like to type rating into fly in the Cirrus vision jet, and. Also talking about answering listener question on ANR headset, so big long fund show. Great. He and you can find me on Twitter at max flight. Look for me on linked in is David said at the UNLV digest dot com also with Mary Kirby at peck sex podcast dot com. Our outdraws by Bruno Massoni. You can find more of his compositions where he incorporates aviation sounds into music, and you can find that at Bruno Massoni dot com. So please join us again next week as we talked aviation on the airplane geeks, podcast, five, everybody keep the blue side up and thanks for listening.

FAA Patty FAA Air Force congress David United States Embry riddle Dr petty Clark Bill woods program chair Senate delta Georgia Embry riddle college of air Na CFI max trescott Stewart Seattle
Map shows even 'regular people' can't avoid coronavirus spread

MSNBC Rachel Maddow (audio)

46:50 min | 9 months ago

Map shows even 'regular people' can't avoid coronavirus spread

"The show we at nine eastern on MSNBC. Thanks to you at home for joining us this hour. Happy to have you here especially on a Friday nights and for your troubles as a reward for you being here on Friday nights I would like to thank you for being here by introducing you to wore nell Vega Watch this. God bless him alone says positive senior covert nineteen to weakened a half saying when I first got here trouble during big core seniors. Everything so much better now I thank you thank you so just made it home for some being back home after being in the hospital for so many days. I'm excited to be back with my family. They happy to have me home. I'm happy to be home and one of the things I'm looking forward to doing. I didn't sleep. It's been a while so I think a good night's sleep as well deserted. My name is Riemann son. Stir sangster's the last name. I'm a cool with survivor. I was admitted to cyanide. Hospital on the fifth of April just prior to be hospitalized or threes privatised to hospitalize. My mom died With cuvee it and then I was hospitalized. You're under fittest. I came in here. I spent a little more than seventy two hours on the ventilator is been able to to my family to the just coming out of ICU. Just over one week now. Ready to go to reach my wife and my kids. You love you to love. You guys love you too. That's L. Vega was the first gentleman there and Raymond sangster whose mom died from krona virus three days before he was hospitalized with it himself and was eventually put in the ICU and himself intimated but now has gone home. Got Speed to you both We keep asking frontline healthcare workers across the country to send us their thoughts and US things in their own words. Send US their own view on their own work right now. What they're going through I think it is an interesting peek into the mindset of these frontline health workers who are risking so much for all the rest of us that a lot of what they keep. Sending us is portrait's of their patients their patients who are surviving it and making out of the hospital and I mean it's great to see that on on its own terms but I think it's also sort of revelatory for US civilians on the outside to see how important those successes are not just to the patients themselves and their families but also the people who have been working themselves half to death Trying so hard to save people from a disease that is very unpredictable very cruel and just relentless in terms of the numbers of Americans that it has sickened and killed and so they celebrate these moments. Which is I think. Important for us to know about them This is another one. We just got from Indiana Watch. This one took gentleman was after eating here since April four. He spent some time in critical. Care discharge do they joyfully after spending about two weeks in the hospital? Three hundred patients is an enormous number. His discharge speech to all the patients have been cared for the sake about the number of hours of care then involved in carrying two to the number three hundred. That's an incredible number. So it's not just his discharge. It's everybody that's come before him as well. For the nurses on argument it is an incredible source of pride rising to this occasion to take on Reheard Vegas undertaking it my lifetime. We just continually just to all that are of. It could not be more proud. Couldn't be more proud. That's Tracy Davis she's an RN. In Indianapolis Indiana Health Methodist Hospital which has been a really hard hit hospital in Indiana Indianapolis Star today profiling what they call the slow rolling disaster of the Kovic Nineteen crush at that particular hospital in Indiana and so Dr Right. They are going to celebrate when they're three hundredth patient survives and is able to leave the hospital after all it takes from all of these healthcare workers to try to keep people alive once this thing. It's got a hold of them because we keep hearing over and over again especially as this thing has sprawled and grown into this enormous epidemic. That we've got in our country it's grown from from March and has stretched on all the way through April and out stretching on through. May It just keeps going and the people who are doing the physical medical work to try to keep Americans alive who are worst. Hit by this They just keep telling us I feel like they need us to know what it is that they need to keep going but also just how hard this is. It's been a very it's been a very difficult experience I've been a nurse for years. I've never experienced anything like this. I've never experienced this much emotion. I find it difficult to talk still. I think the one good thing that I've had so far as knowing that I talk about my nursing staff and how it's very helpful to talk to them and they've been a great support but it's been more than that. I think that we help each other. Get through this because we share the same experiences you know. We all have all have families that we have to go to. We all make sacrifices by not seeing them for long periods of time it's been it's been very difficult even. I don't think that I hope that nobody has experienced anything. Like like what we've been experiencing. I'm going to go home. I'm going to listen to some music like I said earlier. I'm going to zoom. What some of my friends. I just look forward to seeing my son tomorrow. Lynn Vera is an ICU. Nurse at Mount Sinai West in New York She herself got infected and got sick with corona virus. Early on in early March She is now recovered and she is back on the job. I also Josephine Stevens. Just feed Stevens Works in Port Jefferson Louisiana. She actually works in a dental clinic in port. Jefferson Louisiana but with the epidemic descending with particular ferocity upon Louisiana Josephine moved over to do something entirely different at Saint Charles Hodge in Port Jefferson. She trained to work with Cohen Patients. Who can't have their families with them. You know they can't have their families with them. They can't have any visitors Josephine is nail. The one who sits with them and facilitates facetime conversations. Conversations be a phone pad between these very ill patients and their families at home. She is the one who helps them bedside to connect and to communicate their last wishes in some cases and to say goodbye. If that times come if that time comes that's Josephine's job now because everybody's job has changed in the epidemic three indoors Very different since covered nineteen to play out five weeks ago. Everybody's working really learned to save as many lives and it's really scary. That's breaking and you're just very very different on you'll deadly look at life a different way every breath you take and every remember that you can really hard. I just finished working a sixteen hour shift. I came in at seventy minutes. Approximately eleven. Pm Now the day started off pretty rough In running Ranta Patients Code Relies the that? The days starts unknown every single day I'm very grateful for the team that I work side We all work really hard. We all there and we're grateful for one another it's GonNa family that now my built Especially since my family lives out of state I haven't been able to spend much time in the last two months with them I keep going back though I keep coming back because The patients need us but the biggest thing is Lesion to need us sell so stay healthy for them because if we get sick. Who's going to be here for you? the biggest concern for public is reopening our cities in getting stuff moving which would be great for all of us including me. I WANNA I WANNA go I WANNA be able to go out to dinner and do something But unfortunately we can't right now we really have taken this Virus under control to prevent it from spreading out even further than what it has seven forty five the end with a twelve hour shift ernest. Patty today was definitely busier. Intubate patients with suspected over disease. It seemed like the volume with keeping up again a bit. Although not as bad as it was a few weeks ago you can hear the noises still somewhat lower than it was when I lasted so I'm hopeful keeping things under control. Although we still have to maintain our vigilance let our guard down because these people are still coming in to the same degree they say stay healthy long Dr Ernest Patty from the Saint Barnabas Medical Center in the Bronx. You recognize him. We have been checking in with Dr Patty every week for a few weeks. Now he is the emergency medicine chief at the very hard hit. Emergency Room at St Barnabus in the Bronx in New York That little dispatched from him was from just this past week and you can hear from him. This sort of mix of hope and worry. You know hope that the the numbers won't tick back up to be as bad as they were but also some worry from him as what he describes as the noises humans the noises from all the ventilators start to ping again constantly in the background in his emergency room as they do continue to get new patients who are in acute distress but it addition to sending us that dispatch from the St Barnabus. Emergency Room This Week. You will also want to see what else Dr. Patty sent us this week because basically from St Barnabus this week. He sent us a big multi part bundle of hope first of all he to sent us one of these videos. This video shows the release of the five hundred corona virus patient from abyss of five hundred patient who had beaten the virus and been released from the hospital. Patient number five hundred gets to go home to get out of the hospital alive and you can see the health. Workers are so proud right. Even the firefighters came out for the five hundred patient to celebrate his milestone. Dr Patty sent us that Dr. Patty also sent us these pictures of his co workers from Saint Martin outside after sending off that five hundred patient trying to encourage everyone with signs that say Keep calm and think positively and this Sun will come out tomorrow and we will overcome this Dr Patty also send us pictures of the stuff that he and his colleagues have been sent from all over America. Regular Americans trying to lend support to try to like bolster and support and shows Show a desire to help the Saint Barnabus doctors and nurses in what they're doing and it's an amazing collection of stuff from all sorts of people who perceive all sorts of needs a woman named mortgage in Silver Springs Maryland. Sent in Respiratory Equipment Respirator Masks Dr. Patty received what he called an enormous box of Hawaiian themes gifts and treats from Darlene. In Honolulu. Who used to live in New York City? Wanted US in that. Iris who works at planned? Parenthood in Ohio sent the Saint Barnabus. Emergency Room some masks Beth in Chicago sent what she called her own personal supply of maths. So you see the appreciation both of people sending that stuff to Saint Barnabus but also the appreciation of this Saint Barnabus physician. Do you believe people are being so kind? So it's nice. I mean that mutuality is is nice to see. I mean honestly big picture in the news. Things are terrible. Obviously we are closing in on one point three million cases in this country we are over seventy seven thousand American deaths at this point the unemployment rate today fourteen point seven percent which is the worst level of unemployment in this country since the Great Depression do not need to qualify it any other way the Associated Press tonight reporting at the highest levels of the White House there was political intervention to block the CDC from issuing practical guidance about how businesses and services could safely reopen without risking people getting infected there the White House at the highest levels intervened to block the CDC from releasing that guidance to the American people which would save lives because the White House is encouraging all sorts of states to open up the CDC produce guidelines how to do that safely the White House blocked it and then the White House overtly when they were asked when when they were asked about the CDC guidance they said Oh that that guidance wasn't actually approved by the CDC actually the CDC prove it and the White House blocked. Things are bad. I get it. I mean if there's one thing that's worse than astonishingly botched response an existentialist challenging pandemic that is killing tens of thousands of Americans on an ongoing basis. If there's one thing that is worse than that? It's maybe an astonishingly botched response to that kind of an epidemic. That just keeps getting worse over time. Right where the public health people and the scientists are actually exerting less control over the country's response over time rather than more were the scientists and the public health people who actually know what to do are getting more and more muscled as the terrible response of government continues and actually gets worse day by day. So I I got. Everything's terrible I know. And we're going to cover a bunch of that stuff over the course of this hour tonight including a look at what might be the worst state in the country in terms of how the epidemic response is being botched. And how the people of that state are being prevented from knowing the truth about the scale of the disaster. There things are bad. I know we will. We will cover. We'll still continue covering all the badness of it but for a hot second here on this Friday night. I do just want to cover one piece of this. That is something constructive and innovative and good. So forgive me. Let's let's go back to Dr Patty at St Barnabas for you might remember something. Caught my attention in this photo that we showed from. Dr Patty go and you see. He's got his respirator on. He's got his face. Shield up on the top of his head. He's got his P. and he's got his gloves on but you can see the sticker of himself the sticker of his own face that little picture of a smiling. Dr Patty that is put on his medical gown as Sticker Dr. Patty had told us that somebody sent that to him. Among all the people who've been sending him and his stuff great stuff. Somebody sent that picture of him with his head shot so that his fires patients could see his face and know that there was a human being behind. All that protective gear turns out. There is a kind of amazing story behind that that sticker with Dr Patties photo on it was sent to him by somebody who's never met in real life Her name Lori Justice shock it. She is an artist but she also has a medical degree and she is married to an er doctor and she is the mom and step mom of two more ER doctors. She is connected and right now. One of the things she has started doing is making P. P. Portrait's for medical staff who wear full protective gear when taking care of their patients. So you the doctor or you. The nurse sent her the smiling photo of yourself. She will print laminate and mail a sheet of P. P. E. Portrait's that you can stick onto the outside of your PCP gear so you're terrified patients who can't actually see really any of your face. They can at least have some idea of who you are and what you really look like and where this idea came from. I had no idea was the Bulla outbreak in Liberia. In two thousand fourteen in two thousand fifteen an American artist named Mary Beth Heffernan who teaches at Occidental College She was moved ends intrigued by the images of the full spacesuit like that health workers were wearing while caring for people with Ebola in Liberia and she started studying. It also created the P. Portrait project describing it as an art intervention designed improve improve Ebola care and this was this was not a whim it was not a small thing and it was not an easy thing. This was eight deeply research grant funded project focusing on the psychological effects of isolation on patients and ultimately the beneficial effects of puncturing that isolation by allowing them to connect better with their providers. Mary Heffernan the artist was invited by the government of Liberia to come work with doctors at Ebola Treatment Centers in two thousand fourteen twenty fifteen. She told us that she has always hoped that what she started doing. In Liberia this years ago would become best medical practice for all kinds of patients who have to experience the isolation of never seeing people outside of PP seeing only masked faces for days at a time. Well now this epidemic that we are in appears to be putting her idea into a fact putting her putting her idea at the center of consciousness at least in more and more places it was. Heffernan the PPA portrait project in Liberia for the Ebola crisis. That inspired Laurie. Who saw Dr? Patty Saint Barnabus here on this show and then she sent Dr Patty his portrait. And that's why we were able to see him where it the same work. Also inspired a Stanford University researcher who works on Quality Improvement of patient. Care as the cove. Nineteen epidemic drove tens of thousands of patients into American hospitals and American frontline health providers everywhere were into full p. Pp whenever they could get their hands on it the Stanford researcher. Katie Brown. Johnson got in touch with Mary. Beth Heffernan and now they are working together on a project at Stanford that provides portraits to hospitals across the country. They have a diy version of the project on the web which is basically a template that health workers Can Use to do this. I will also tell you that we got kind of hilarious off shoot of this idea from a brother and sister team named Linda and Jack Jack was recently being treated for cancer at the hospital during the covert nineteen epidemic and after seeing all the medical workers dressed head to toe in protective gear jock and his sister Linda and their other siblings decided to design their own sort of homegrown home conceived version of this very fancy Art World High Level Medical World Idea and what Jack and Linden their siblings came up with is version of it. That is sort of equal parts awesome and hilarious and slightly unsettling. Look Be Holt. It is the Selfie mask. This isn't you printing portrait of your straight to camera smiling face on a sticker that you put on your gown. This is you approximating the look of your face as kind of a mask overlay. It's like wearing a face suit of yourself on your face. They they tell us they've now made a bunch of them at the hospital is being treated for cancer. This Jackson colleges varying is look at that he could shave that goatee. Nobody would ever know Jacqueline Linda's brother Andy helped him come up with a fairly simple way to augment normal two d image of a person's face so that it could rob around traditional mascot traditional face covering along with the link to the Stanford Template for health workers to get those portrait's their PCs gowns will post a link on motto blog dot Com to the selfie Mask Web tool that lets you upload an image and print for yourself just in case you to want to stop walking the dog looking like this and instead want to start walking the dog wearing your own face on your face right. I told you. It's like equal parts hilarious and awesome and unsettling but it comes from this idea that is deeply rooted in patients needing that human connection with their providers and it turns out to have pretty good data a pretty good data basis in terms of understanding how this can help patients when they are otherwise at the what be the worst and most scared time in their lives. Joining Snail is Katie. Brad Johnson. Who is the research scientist at Stanford University School of Medicine who I just talked about Who helped revive the P? Portrait project invented during the Ebola crisis now being put back into practice for the corona virus. Miss Brown Johnson. Thank you so much for being with US tonight. I have to ask you how much of that dot wrong or if I explained to the basics of it in a way that seems coherent. Oh you're still coherent repeal. Thank you so much for having me on this show. Tell me about the the way this idea which is sort of cute and intriguing and interesting and hearted how it ultimately translates. I mean you. You were serious researcher. In terms of patient patient outcomes and the way that patients interact with their healthcare providers how back and ultimately affect the course of their care. What is your research? So what do we know about how this improves? Thanks for patients. Yeah so so I must social scientists And very interested in a human connection and patient provider connection and so with the fear and isolation that was coming up around coveted. We'd knew we needed to address it right away. So the the research behind this. A warm and content provider connects with the healing mechanisms within a person's own body and p. p. e. obviously it straight up down competence. It it tells you competence right away. the only warrant that you might get would be at PPA portrait. And so that's really some of the basis of the research that has us interested in pursuing this. I can imagine I mean just just seeing Dr Patty wearing his portrait and we talked to him in his apartment so he knew what he looked like and then we had received these video diaries from him in the Er at Saint Barnabas where he is completely covered up and sometimes we have to use subtitles in order to be able to convey what it is that he's saying there is that barrier in terms but being able to see him you are able to make that human connection back to the guy who you recognized or the guy who you might think you could know rather than having this almost alien interaction even while somebody is doing their best to save. Your Life. I mean I think even those of us who aren't patient sort of inherently get how this might work absolutely I think It's really valuable for patients. I I think the exciting thing that we've been We shouldn't have been surprised that we've been surprised at how important this has been for. Healthcare workers so healthcare workers experience a huge amount of burnout in general. And we're really hoping that this will we hear from them already that this really helps them feel humanized and reconnected? And those are the types of things that are going to help our healthcare workers so the types of feelings that are going to help our healthcare workers be able to do the long haul. That cove is really calling for. Katie Brown Johnson research scientists at Stanford University School of Medicine a Katie. Thank you very much for helping. Us understand this tonight. It obviously captured our imagination. A little bit but understanding that this comes from a pretty deep place in terms of your understanding of a patient outcomes. It's really intriguing. Thanks thanks for helping US understand. Thank you so much for having me Rachel. All right much more ahead here tonight. Stay with US ready to freshen up your hair. Hair-color Madison Reed has your back. They'll deliver a kit with everything you need including step by step instructions directly to your door. Each kid starts at just twenty two dollars and you can determine your perfect shade with Madison reads Color Quiz and online. Try on tool. How would you look as a blonde a Brunette? Maybe a red you can virtually try on different colors all from the comfort of your home. And if you're worried about coloring your hair on your own don't be. I did mine. And it was totally free. And my color looks like I just came from this lawn get ammonia free multidimensional hair-color delivered to your door starting at twenty two dollars at Madison Dash Ary Dot com use code motto to get ten percent off plus free shipping on your first color kit again that's code motto at Madison Dash Reed Dot Com. I'm Lee host of into America. A podcast from NBC News and MSNBC. Join me as we go into the numbers. Eighty percent of her patients. Don't have insurance right now. Into the choices I have to plan a funeral in the angel corona versus. How is this going to work? And into away through the importance of music is to keep our spirits up into America. A podcast about everyday people and the power that politics policy and a pandemic have in shaping our lives new episode every Monday and Thursday president up. I'm so grateful for the governor's leadership in Iowa so very impressed with her team. Leading the pack Iowa with a Governor Reynolds leadership has been a success story because whether it be the mitigation efforts social distancing efforts and now rolling out testing at a record pace in the state. I'M WHA has stayed in front of this effort we talking about the same Iowa Vice President Mike Pence at the White House this week praising the great success story that is Iowa Iowa leading the pack rolling out testing at a record pace got lots of testing troubles in Iowa. People are waiting like two weeks plus for their results. I don't I'm not sure why. The White House thinks that things are going awesome in Iowa. They have testing trouble. They have several of the fastest growing outbreaks in the country in Iowa. They terribly with social distancing they actually never did a stay at home order and they have lots of I mean. Don't think for me I will say the local press in that part of the country itself appears mystified by this characterization from the White House that Iowa's doing great the Quad City Times out of Eastern Iowa ran with this headline quote pence calls. Iowa's success story as virus related deaths and hospitalizations. Climb that more unregistered. Made a similar point quote although pence this week called Iowa a success story it's handling of the pandemic rates of infection continue to climb across the state when columnist with the Omaha World in Nebraska simply tweeted a picture that success storyline From pence with this caption are we in upside. Are we in the upside down against that? Backdrop Vice President Pence visited Iowa today ended up arriving an hour late after the news broke that his press secretary had tested positive for Corona Virus. Because of that other staff members on board his Flight. Rask to deplane plane and go get tested so the vice president was late by the time he actually landed in Iowa. Iowa was dealing with a flood of headlines about one of the meat processing plants in the state that pence have been bragging about on Wednesday at the White House bragging. About how great it was that it was reopening ahead of yesterday's reopening of Tyson meat processing plant in Waterloo Iowa. The Governor Kim Reynolds had soberly announced that more than four hundred workers at that plant had tested positive. That was yesterday. Today as pence pence was finally belatedly lending. The state was grappling with headlines. About the fact that it's not actually four hundred workers from that one plant like the governor said just yesterday turns out to be more than a thousand workers at that one plant in Waterloo Iowa who have become infected more than a thousand workers from one plant. That's not to mention their families their community contacts. Nothing just the workers over one thousand cases one plant Iowa more than doubled since the governor's sober assurances yesterday for whatever reason the White House seems very invested. Lauding Iowa a great success story. I had to pick a state. I wouldn't pick them. And I mentioned the Omaha World Herald and the reaction of their columnist to that characterization about Iowa part of the country is having trouble honestly a particularly in the places where those states come together one of the reasons that Sioux City Iowa is dealing with one of the worst outbreaks in the whole country is thought to be because of a huge meat processing plant. That's just across the Missouri River in Nebraska Dakota County Nebraska. That County Dakota County just saw a record surgeon new cases their largest number of new cases in one day. Yet at three hundred. Sixty one positives in one day. And that's a county with only twenty thousand people in it. We don't know how many of those positive cases are workers from that Dakota County plant which also just reopened. The plant is not announcing how many of its workers are infected. Nebraska's governor says the plants don't have to say how many of their workers have tested positive. He says it's a business decision. It's their call. But that County Dakota county just across the Missouri River from Sioux City. Iowa Dakota County does have a population of less than twenty thousand people in their up. Fourteen hundred cases overall now not testing in the first place not allowing test results to be made. When they're testing. I mean denying that these outbreaks exist or that they attend to any specific place or workplace is a bad strategy. It's it's a specific kind of bad though to kind of bad that one Nebraska state senator is now calling a political cover up in his state. He joins US next. Stay with us this week. Nebraska's Republican governor. Pete Ricketts announced that the state would no longer release any data on corona virus case numbers in specific meat processing plants. He said counties would have to get a sign off from the individual plants if they want to continue releasing that kind of information governor made that announcement I should say just as just as at least one major plant in the state known to have at least dozens of cases was about to receive the results from testing. All of its workers this announcement from Governor Rick. It's Drew incoming fire from a bunch of places in the state including from state. Senator named Adam more felt who represents parts of Lincoln Nebraska? He said that rickets shutting down public information on the spread of Corona virus. Inside Nebraska's meatpacking plants is quote commonly referred to as a political cover up quote? There's no legitimacy to this is a privacy concern understanding where outbreaks occurring important for the public and the government to know and understand from a mitigation and public safety point of view. No data equals. No spread equals. Victory will eventually say there's zero new cases implants sort of like the claim that zero Nebraska's in prisons have the virus but only because we have tested zero Nebraska. Prison inmates joining us now is Senator Atom Moorefield. He's a state senator from Nebraska. Nice to have you here. Thanks for making time to join US tonight. Thank you for having me. So I am Fixated on your state. Because I feel like governor. Ricketts is mounting a response to this epidemic. That is troubling to me. And it seems even though a lot of states have not great responses. What seems particularly troubling is the lack of data. That's being released to the public. The state's not releasing data on individual nursing homes. That's not releasing data on individual meat plants. Now and as you point out there not even testing any prisoners in the state. I WanNa ask if if you feel like national concern is warranted at this point from those of us in the rest of the country looking at. And what's going on in your state? I absolutely think the national concerns warranted in it's warranted because just releasing aggregate data is dangerous to the public safety because we can't tell as public whether we should be rewarding or keeping accountable public or private institutions. That are doing a good or bad job and frankly right now we should be building. Trust not veiling certain things in secrecy. And that's pretty important because we need to make sure that we are allocating scarce resources To where we need them the most. And if we're not providing specific data the public doesn't know where the actual problems are which means that organizations state like appleseed harketting worker center other folks can't provide critical trading and services for employees employers in public officials. Like me don't fully understand. The scope of the problem is and how well we're doing. All of this plays into the narrative that the governor wants. Which is that. We're ready to open back up. That things are on the upswing. When we haven't even hit our peak yet we are seeing in a number of states Varying levels of transparency. When it comes to how big the outbreaks are individual plants. There aren't federally required Guidelines on these things there's guidelines but there's no actual rules that plants have to follow Some county health departments are state. Health departments have been able to exact promises from individual plants that they will test all of their workers and they will make those results public Nebraska seems to be the least transparent of all states in terms of the number of plants. That aren't saying anything. And where the information that? We'VE GOT ABOUT PROBLEM. Outbreaks comes from anonymous. Tipsters comes from journalists ferreting out the information and it seems like it may ultimately come from Individual County. Health departments defying. This line from the governor. Now that they can't release this information and they have to defer to these businesses. It sort of feels like things are getting worse than Nebraska. And not better over time. It is getting worse and you wouldn't know it from the governor's office but you would know it from the local public health officials that are telling the truth that are coming out and saying hey listen. We have major problems in our savory now like the Republican mayor of Grand Island. I think it's also important to note that if we don't know exactly where the problems are. We can't allocate resources in order to help people and that only plays into the governor's narrative again that were supposed to be ready and for business when in fact we are in the middle of our outbreak. And that's very concerning because the governor seems more concerned about protecting the reputation of businesses which is one of his stated reasons why this information needs to be private rather than saving the lives of Nebraska and protecting the public health public safety of our state state senator from the Great State of Nebraska. I am concerned so much about Nebraska because I like Nebraska alerts and because I really am worried you have one of the worst managed large epidemics in the country. I know that you've been doing your damnedest to squawk about it and to try to improve it. Keep US apprised and keep me honest as we keep covering this. We're going to stay on the story. All right we'll be right back. Stay with us. This I think is a clarifying moment. Senator Pat Roberts is a Republican is the senior. Us Senator from the Great State of Kansas at a Senate hearing yesterday. Here's Senator Roberts expressing concerns about how the operation of meat processing plants is being affected all these covert nineteen outbreaks. That are happening all of those plants for some reason. Here's what he thinks. The problem is the problem is our workers and just this morning they show up at the Platte not numbers that we had hoped for but we at least keep the meat packing plant open. And what's what's happening is that they're not catching the virus at the meat packing plant afterwards afterwards. The problem is the workers. They're not getting infected. Nothing's happening at the plant. It's these people after they go home. It's just a coincidence. That all the meatpacking plants all over the country are having huge outbreaks among their workers. The problem is nothing that's happening at the plants. It's just coincidentally that they all have these terrible worker people who are getting infected elsewhere victimizing the plants health and Human Services Secretary. Alex are echoed. This argument this week on a call with members of Congress. He told them that outbreaks at meat packing plants in this country are due to the quote home and social aspects of lives. Beckoning infected at work. They just all coincidentally happened to be getting infected at home and then coming to work at the same place. It's so weird. That was Wisconsin this week. A lawyer for the Democratic governor of the state was making an argument to the State Supreme Court. This week About why governor? Tony Iverson is a stay at home. Mortars and Wisconsin are so important why they shouldn't be overturned the courts. Conservative chief. Justice interrupted the lawyer with a remark. That for folks I think really seems to clarify and some up going on here. The cases in Brown County and the speed of two weeks surged over tenfold. And Sixty two. Almost eight hundred. That's two weeks that that would be required. Emergency rulemaking so owner due to the meatpacking. No where the Brown county got. The flare wasn't just the regular folks in Brown county giant outbreak in Brown County wasn't the regular folks there. It was just the meat packing people not the regular people so you can't really call that a point of concern about the regular. We're starting to get a better sense of why these huge outbreaks in the middle of our countries seem not to be causing any concern whatsoever among lots of political leaders at least no concern beyond what effects the outbreaks might conceivably have on the plants themselves as opposed to the thousands of people who work in them who are all getting infected there. Those workers are thought of is apparently being not regular. You know two different. Not Part of the real community may be therefore they're not really real people but you know it's one thing to not particularly care what happens to this group of other people to decide what happens to them really has nothing to do with no effect on all of the rest of us and because of that. I want to show you something that was sent to us today. By Data Data Visualization Company. That's called tectonics Map showing the Tyson. Meat Packing plant in CASS county. Indiana in March of this year so this was a plant. You probably heard something about shutdown last month. This is the plant where nine hundred workers. They're tested positive. For covert nineteen forty percent of the workers at that plant. This is a plant in Cass County. Indiana they just reopened yesterday now. All those tiny bluish white dots in there Those are people's mobile devices giving off a signal at that facility. Tectonics used to my location data from cell phones to create an animation of what happened to those mobile devices and the people attached to them. Over the course of the month of March those devices travelled out into the surrounding counties and into surrounding states and then ultimately also across almost the entire country by the end of March people who had been inside the Cass County Tyson. Plant which would eventually be diagnosed with nine hundred corona virus infections among people who work there people had traveled to daily every state in the nation and it it makes sense actually meat processing. Plants are in the middle of a sprawling national supply chain the trump administration and leaders in these states with all these meat packing plant outbreaks. They may want to blame these outbreaks on the workers in these plants and described these outbreaks as no big deal. Because those people but however much you're GONNA have to pay for that at the end of your life when you have to answer for the way you have lived right mail. That sort of prejudice and short-sighted. This is not gonNa make these outbreaks go away and it's not going to magically contain these outbreaks to those workers. There is going to need to be a better plan for this and the clock is ticking. Do you need a best new thing in the world today I do? We've got one that's plural. May I introduce the newest members of the Rachel Maddow? Show family all James and Henry Joseph. Oliver James is the elder brother by four minutes which we are hoping and expecting him to Lord over Henry Joseph their whole happy lives. Both kiddos are perfect. See an absolutely healthy and already speaking up on their own behalf they will of course will be the beginning of a whole new adventure for our beloved producer. Johanna Johanna we are so happy for you and for Mike. And for these little bundles of joy it is a crazy time in the world but these guys are pure joy. Where so happy for you? Best New Kiddos in the World Today. The show weeknights at nine eastern on MSNBC.

US Outbreaks Iowa Dr Ernest Patty Nebraska Indiana White House MSNBC Patty Saint Barnabus Mary Beth Heffernan senator ICU Rachel Maddow Vice President Pence America Tracy Davis researcher Liberia
Olivia Munn Returns!

Anna Faris Is Unqualified

1:27:09 hr | 4 months ago

Olivia Munn Returns!

"Hey everyone. Today's guest is the talented beautiful and insightful actress Olivia man you know her from the newsroom x men apocalypse the Predator and countless other movies and shows I really admire Livia for so many reasons and after this episode I think you will too. I'm also excited to welcome world renowned clinical sexologist educator and sex coach Dr Patty Britain Dr Patty joins me later in the episode for an uninhibited discussion with one of our listeners about be DSM. Now here's a Livia. Ladies and gentlemen you're listening to qualify. How are you? How is the last like I don't know six months been? Can you give me the spectrum of emotion? I would say. ups and downs like everyone else in the beginning. It was actually like a nice break for me because i. just feel like sometimes I get anxiety of just. Trying to keep up with the flow of everything you know and the almost felt like the pencils down at the end of a test or quiz like everybody pencils down nobody gets to writing more nobody like we all had to kind of just hands down everybody has to wait. So you've got this kind of moment of like, okay. We all get to stop take some time by ourselves. You know take care of our minds and our our hearts in our health. Savings. -iety then I got used to announce feeling really good and now I'm the place from a little bit more confused because you see people going out and being social but not wearing masks and all this stuff in its in traveling in it's it's very confusing to me because I don't really know what we're supposed to be doing right now i. so feel that do you 'cause this is like a struggle over mealy Oh God yeah completely. Okay. Can I ask you a series of questions? Okay. Great. If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be? I live in Kyoto Tokyo or Turks and Caicos. I know I wasn't supposed to pick three but they're also different I grew up in Tokyo i Miss Tokyo that feels like home to me. So, I would love to be there never really got to spend a ton of time in Kyoto so I would love to be Kyoto, but truthfully, right now because of the state of the world I just WanNa be in Turks and Caicos like on a beach where that warm ocean water is like right their feet away from your home just like that's really all I think about all the time is just if I could spend every vacation right on a beach with warm ocean water I'd be happy. For the rest of my life, the so was your dad that was stationed in Tokyo will you give us a little background? So it was my first stepfather. My mother is now remarried my second stepfather my first Stepfather Rama married him when I was two and he was military and so I was military kid from two to sixteen, and then we were in Oklahoma Utah and then Japan and we just ended up staying in. Japan for most of my upbringing until I was sixteen and came back to Oklahoma. Where I went to high school to the University of Oklahoma what was that like transferring from Tokyo to a high school in Oklahoma? That was probably one of the hardest years of my upbringing I think just because I had already gone from school to school growing up always being the new kid and military family, and now at sixteen years old I gotta go back to Oklahoma where. People have known each other from kindergarten on. So they've already established their cliques and everybody has their own social standing you know, and then I come in and I didn't look like anyone else. I didn't dress like anyone else. It was really difficult. I literally cried every single day for a month. My first period of class and then into the hallway, and then I would kind of stop crying like by second period, and then somewhere around lunch was always the hardest and then it was just really hard because I I would just cry nobody nobody would even like look at me. There's so many kids in that school I think there is like seven hundred or a thousand people in my class alone I think. So it was just a lot of people with their own life and problems and concerns, and no one was even thinking about the new girl in school. So that was really really tough but I do look back and think that really helped me for Hollywood to kind of go into places where nobody cares who you are and feel that kind of constant rejection kind of like tough me up I. Think I imagined just. Imagining a high school in Oklahoma specifically I guess did you end up finding a click or a group? So when I was in Japan I had made the cheerleading team a few years in a row, and we were like actually the Far East champion. So that's all of the Far East military schools we competed in that, and so that was migraine my my older sister I have two older sisters, one biological ones and stepsister, and they were in the same school with me too and on the cheerleading team. So I, really have that kind of family unit I'm one of five kids. So I always had my siblings with me in school everywhere. And then when I was sixteen, my mother and my for stepfather divorced, and then my sister at this point was now in college, and now I'm alone going into this huge big high school by South at the time I was dressed like big skater pants I wore like men's Vig t shirts big skater pants like Julie's massive genes that like you could fit like two legs in one lag and I didn't wear make up or anything like that and so Oklahoma, it's a big pageant state. So these girls knew how to do makeup curl the hair and all this dolphin. I had no idea what I was doing and I remember going through hallways and. Stop crying, and then observing kind of like what everybody was kind of dressing like in. So remember going to the drugstore and getting some covergirl is shadow and not even knowing how to apply it having to turn it over on the back to look at the illustration of like where you place the shadow trying to figure that whole thing out, and then I remember at the time it was a very preppy look that was in style and so all the popular girls all wore these sweater vests with little polos underneath them, and then these little cargo shorts, screams of sex. It was a very preppy Oklahoma luck and and so we have the kind of money that we could just ignore like Mama want to change up my whole new wardrobe to spend a lot of money on skater over the last year. So I went to Mike didn't amuse grandmother's closet and she had these old sweater best that she would wear and I take those in. Put together my version of what these girls were wearing I did not pass I did not look like fin I abandoned that pretty quick and then you know at sixteen years old in high school I just wanted to have somebody to have lunch with at the time I was able to trade out one of my classes so that I could have library aid. As my lunch hour and instead of eating lunch in the cafeteria with everyone where I didn't have a place to sit I would actually just sit with like the older librarians who were like in their seventies and there's this one guy who's a library aid with me. He was a Roeber and he asked me to come to a raid with them when I. I'll try I'll try anything. Wait how old is this library aid that you're raven wins was like maybe a year older than me I think I think yeah. So he was like, do you have any friends and said, no, I just moved here and don't really know anybody and so he's a communist rave with me and I had no idea what a rave was and so I remember he tells me where to meet him with his friends and I went and I remember everyone's like other glow sticks and partying. Just partying their heads, often standing in the corner and watching it all going like I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing in sitting there with low sticks trying to like. Dance a little bit but being like this is not me I don't know what this is. But that guy was really great because he just befriended me when nobody else was at all and he really Kinda got me through this hard hump at that school in years. Later, I was doing the premier right along two in Miami and he comes up to me he's like, Hey, you may not remember me and I. Like looked at him I. Remember his cheeks right away and I was like Oh my God I was like you basically saved my life through like ice school. So that was really funded people to meet him again. So many years later, and then he you know he was a cop in Miami and has a kid and stuff like that. It's really sweet I. Wonderful Because I went to my twentieth. High School Reunion. And I think the only reason to go to your high school reunion is to get reflections like in his self absorbed way like of how people would remember you if confirms what you remember or if it dispels what you remember I moved around so much. I didn't have like the Group of friends that MC L. let's all go back and reminiscent. I can't remember a remember a few teachers names maybe I don't. Know the part of school the struggles some of the highlights were great. But in general like the people that I want to stay connected to stay connected to I never really understood people going back for like a high school reunion was horrible. No I almost wish it was because then it would have been definitive at least but I felt the same way about prom like I guess this is something I should do. I wasn't invited to my prom by anyone at the school. So there is a at this other school camera remember his name but I invited him just because I thought I should go. So I brought him got the pictures I. Love It. You're the outsider bringing the outsider. But then he knew all like the cool. Like Jackson in popular crowd and they wanted to leave prom and go to some after party and I really didn't want to do that at all. So I just said like, Hey, why don't you just kind of go off and he's like are you sure? I'm like, yeah, I'm just GONNA go home. Crying my m Oh I'm the girl that I'll go to a party but then I don't ever mind being like the I leave and go home and kind of hang out with my dogs and I'd much rather do like a dinner party or game night and go out to like a thing promise for me was like I had to do this go check out the list I've done it and that's it I. Yeah. High School only haunts me in a couple of ways mostly having to do with like rejection. And love and heartbreak, but at that age. When I felt like I was in love. Really had nothing to do with him. Like He was just a handsome kid and I couldn't believe he liked me, and then of course when there's sex involved too for me at that age it was like now we are bonded for life. You know how old were you when you lost your virginity I was seventeen and it was incredible Olivia, as you can imagine. But I think that love at that age too is it's so difficult to be examining of somebody else because you're so self examining and it's very hard to to actually assess like what do I like about this person what I like about that friend that friend is mean why am I chasing that person who's like kind of an ass but I think that there's just too many things going on in your developing brain to have any kind of perspective in any way but I'll tell you more about losing my bridge. Well you know high school is an interesting thing. But memory is a very interesting thing to me because like my memory of high school I can remember the good times and the bad times. I can remember all that stuff but the feeling that I have and I think about how I felt during high school was. Hard to describe because I ag- more problems with social situations in friend groups more than I did like falling in love with guys I wasn't really that into dating and stuff when I was in high school I was more interested in hanging out with girlfriends described yourself as like an angry teenager. No not at all I was really angry why were you angry? Oh, on his mad at everything I felt like my world was small even though I had no valid reason of I have an amazing family I grew up in a nice warm safe home. I did not want for much except for like beauty and popularity but because those things seemed very unobtainable like felt like a secret code that I couldn't figure out. So then I felt like, well, fuck, this I'm going to I don't know. I immersed myself in like drama club and failure staff, and that was that which were not popular activities. My sister was always the knockout. She's older than me. She had these amazing big lips in this this but in boobs and as far back as I can remember, she just was always just so striking to people and so when we're in school together, people would just look at her and we kind of looked similar. So then they'd kind of see me but I wouldn't get any of that attention which. I liked I saw the way that people were fawning over her, and it probably has little sister made me really defensive and I didn't want anyone to look at me like that and I think that she probably. Didn't feel as strongly as I did about maybe she even liked it on and we've never really talked about it but I just know from kind of being behind her sometimes actually watching it like an in school you're going to your class and there's my big sister up ahead and I can see all the guys like. Turning looking at her and was always so self assured and so self confident and she was always popular because she was just like such a bad, ass. You just was this girl who played by her unroll she like dyed her hair blonde when nobody else was doing that she did look really cool things that always made people gravitate towards her and because of that what I think that I got that immediate kind of spillover popularity because there's like, Oh, you're ceremony sister. Yeah. So I didn't really have to. I mean I wasn't that I was immediate popularity, but it was an immediate recognition that. Mr And it's not that it gave me more friends at all. It gave me an anchor. Made me feel like I was safe in some ways, but it think it's because I, had my sister there with me and my other siblings well. But specifically, my my older sister Sarah because she was so confident but I also got to see how she was. In a fond over for her sexuality that made me not want that attention at all alleviate year. So stunning as you talk about your older sister like part of me is like what the fuck is she talking about like An amazing and beautiful lips and what the fuck. Well. That's very sweet and sweet especially remember another woman my growing up. I was more Wednesday a tomboyish I was just she looked like an adult at like twelve. You know that's the difference but herself competence was always so strong and. She always amazed me how she just always had such a strong sense of Self I. Remember there is this a group of girls when I was in. Eighth Grade I believe they just they didn't like me and they were really mean to me and they would always threatened to beat me up and so I would start to take these really circuitous routes to get to my class and I would never. See them if I could help it just keep avoiding them in one day I was walking into the gym locker rooms and I come around a corner. And I see one of the girls next kind of fall back. I know that my sister's in there too 'cause I could hear her boys and I heard one of the girls say to my sister hey, we don't like your sister. And, she said Okay and they said, yeah, we don't like her and we don't want her at our school and she was like okay and then she turned around and walked away and I remember chasing after going like I can't believe you didn't stand up for me I can't believe he didn't say Moore and she was like hold on are those the girls that are threatening you all the time and I said are the reason that you are late? All, your classes Mike Yeah stick to these girls know who you are said, no sick. Do they know you are they? Your French knows the it doesn't matter who they are what they think of you. So don't you let me see somebody make you feel that small ever again she's like because I will kick your ass myself. If that ever happens again and I was like much more afraid of my sister than any other girl and it was something. That really that's kind of a defined things for me a lot then because when my sister was just saying, okay. Okay. To these girls what I wanted was for her to say shut the hell up and what she taught me in that moment was people as ignorant as that they don't deserve an explanation just like let them say whatever they want to say and walk away because they don't deserve any of your time and it was tough but you. Know we have pushed through I mean I end up having to fight those girls? Oh God off such trauma I. Remember I got in trouble went to the principal's Office for getting the fight and they called my mom to the office and the assistant principal was telling her what happened my mom said do those girls punch? My daughter should yeah she goes then good I'm glad those girls are bleeding then she just like let's go and walked out there. And I know it's like you're not supposed to condone physical. Violence or you're supposed to be able to use your words but sometimes, words just don't work so. You know I so grateful to my mom for making me do martial arts since I was a kid because I had much more of an awareness of how to protect myself in that moment. Oh, completely you do with your kid are there ever bullies at school with him not that I know of unless unless it's him I remember when we hung out, he wanted to play veterinarian you just the sweetest little little guy he's been calling me dude lately. Okay what is a trait you dislike and others entitlement without any work behind it. When people just think that they deserve it simply because they did a little bit or because they exist that drives me crazy and probably tied for first is poxy. Have such a problem with people who say one thing and do another or you know the people who? Stand on platform preaching one thing. But then behind the scenes of the you and I know in Hollywood, the real deal that probably affects me on a more daily basis than the entitlement thing. The entitlement thing is just you. We get that all over the world by being in Hollywood and knowing the truth about people and that the image they portray, and then the image that the public accepts of them can be really frustrating yet really frustrating because. You think because everybody says that they stand for something they wanna stand for something more and you want the good guys win. But how many of the good guys are good guys and girls is not like a just using the term guys how many of the bad guys keep falling up you know and I think that's what bothers me probably on a on a daily basis what about you? Was the treat you. Hate. Them. Oh, gosh you know no one ever turns it around for me well. I. Think Calling you dude I'm just kidding. I. Think maybe an underestimation and you're right about like. We are in an industry where it feels like constantly searching around in terms of like with my representation or anybody that I really work with of looking for honesty looking for. Solidity in you know what I look for advice I don't like it when people underestimate or people treaty with degree of preciousness. But that adds kind of Hollywood specific making all of these things. I'm sure I'm guilty of at times I can't think of any example of course. But I think probably know what traits dislike in myself. Maybe a little bit more but yours. Unless you want me to go first. You can I I. Don't know lately I've been thinking a lot about how negligent I am in relationships how I inadvertently. Hurt. People's feelings by just not getting back to them. Not sending like a gift like not being available because I'm wanted to bath or you know just shit like that Okay. So what does it treat? You dislike in yourself I procrastinate. Such I. Read this Article Years Ago. I. Think it was a New York Times talking about how procrastination is connected to OCD I've had OCD in the past, but it makes sense because usually you think ocd makes you really high functioning in you complete all your projects do but cross nation is so closely tied Oh city and they say because, say you have your clean your room and you're like, okay on Saturday I'm going to clean my room and Saturday comes around and then it's like ten. Am You're like you know what? I think I'm GonNa have a nice big breakfast and kind of hang out in the newnham cleaning and then noon comes around and go you know what? A walkout I can come back at four, and then I'm GonNa have the whole night to do it. Then you come back and forth and you're like, you know what? I'M GONNA. Eat dinner the night in the night is doing it and before you know it. It's ten PM and you're like, you've given yourself two hours to do the whole thing, and then clearly you can't get it done in two hours. So the perfection can't be achieved because OCD is like that perfection has never really something that you can achieve. So then when you procrastinate, you're basically giving yourself no opportunity to make perfect. So that way you know if you have the whole. Day there is no excuse but to make it perfect. But if you just keep procrastinating, give yourself just a small little window to get it done. Perfection is impossible to achieve. So it kind of goes hand in hand that make sense. Yes. In find profoundly depressing because I can completely relate to the scenario. You just described like right now I've got these strips to go through and. It just will. Be really difficult for me to kind of get my mind around just sitting and doing it and looking at this page and making notes, and it's really difficult and I probably give myself a lot more anxiety. I'm working on that a lot more just because I've had to realize how much more stress I give myself on the other side like I don't have like a big team of people around me to get stuff done. It's really just me and I have an assistant who helps me. That's basically it. So I don't have like producers and social media managers and did it and all these things around me to like make sure I'm at the right place at the right time and doing all this stuff. It's really all on made. So you know have been. Trying to figure it out for during quarantine I started organizing my house in a way that makes it so easy to keep it maintained an organized way. So then when things are organized a look nice than it makes me more motivated. So I just allowed myself the time to do that. So yeah, procrastinations really bad one, but I can get riled up. I have to really stop myself when I hear that someone has been wronged I immediately want to just say something or tweet something or yeah. Before we were going to talk today I was thinking about how ferociously loyal you are you stand up for what you believe in. You stand up for other people and that's something that I really admire in must go of course, hand in hand with deep sense of empathy I'm sure that's a beautiful quality well that. Means so much to hear that from you. Thank you for saying that because it's something that I do pride myself on being someone that people know that you can trust me and that if I'm in your life that you have my loyalty, it's really important to me. The thing is when I say I can get riled up like being loyal wanting to offend people those are good qualities but the problem is that if you can get riled up than like for Me The past few years like me too movement in connecting with a lot of silence breakers in wanting them to feel like they've been seen in heard because a lot of the silence breakers are not the a-list names that we see on red carpets or in the time and the speakers of the the people who have created this me too movement and made all of this and I ended up you know communicating with so many of them and I, get very. Riled up and then kind of dizzy from feeling like I don't know what to do about the injustice that's happening to them, and I can sometimes not think clearly because it will spend me into a place where I will get depressed or just kind of shut down in a way. So yeah, that make sense. It totally makes sense. Is that a negative? No, I have so many things myself I wish I was more motivated to work out more. I wish I. And loved putting makeup on and social media has made me think about myself. I'm like, why am I not getting up every day and like full Glam and then video I mean people are doing this and are having so much fun doing. It looks like and I just I. Wish I just got up and was like full Glam and knew how to. Do my hair it seems like people who do that live you know pretty happy lives I mean I know that social media but still I wish that I had that motivation Olivia. I. Don't know if I believe all of though maybe it's because I can't relate to it because I tend to not really post Super Sunny pictures of legacy myself picking up. Like a whatever. But I feel too messy. You portray a very polished version of my own life. And I find it really intimidating. That's why I also really avoid social media because I don't know it's not a perfect fit for me. I don't know Blake on when I joined Instagram, which was way later than anybody else me too I found myself getting addicted to the likes and then I hated that part of me like, why am I like anything having that much control over me that I don't really really love and just the you know in me the idea of I'm already looking for approval all the time in my life. Than to have like sort of the instant. All the data bear a number, right? Yeah. No judgment to people who are awesome at it. 'cause I admire them. It just made me feel like you know how when you were like seventeen or eighteen or whatever you're looking at a ton of women's magazines all the time, and there's that feeling after you put them down or whatever that. There's a slight depression in it's like, why do I feel Kinda bad I feel I need lose things and link ocean I need to be doing this and the. The at least that's how I felt and it's a similar feeling of like a camp pinpointed on. Social Media can't pinpointed on women's magazines. It just personally makes me down and. Like I'm so annoyed with my own nearer face way mirror face. Yes. Like I can't look in the mirror without making a weird pose. Like. A selfie face. Yeah. Yeah. Like Percy my lips out or like yeah. A little more awake than I feel or whatever which is clearly not. You know how I look all the time. There's this this great story about I may be getting the building. Wrong. But leaves the Gridiron building in New York I believe but I'm GonNa get some of the nuances wrong. So people who purchased the Gridiron billing for one hundred million dollars and when they purchase it, they realize a lot of people were complaining about how slow the elevators were. So they had all these different elevator companies come out to give them a bid on how much it would cost to update elevated system and all the bids were like it's going to be fifty million dollars to do a whole new elevator system and. They're like that's crazy because we just spent x amount and we can't do that and then they had this other elevator guy come in and then he said, okay while it's going to cost you like thirteen hundred dollars and thirteen hundred dollars it everybody else is saying like fifty million. So yeah. So what we're going to do is we're not going to change your elevator system. Instead we're going to put mirrors on every floor in between the elevator banks people end up spending so much time looking at themselves. They don't even realize how much time they're waiting for the elevators to come up and down. And I believe to this day, it hasn't been changed. Says not just you don't feel bad. I love that. Well I. Think this is an unpopular opinion amongst people on social media but when instagram talked about hiding likes and trying that in different countries and then also possibly hiding the number of followers you have I believe I think that's really healthy. You know we can't take away social media and there's a lot of great things that come from social media, but to look at some of the elements about it that. Can. Be Detrimental to I think just your psyche and stuff I think it was really great them to talk and to try to put into practice and to see if it might work the big argument from people, influencers of people who make money off a bit was that their numbers are that's what helps them get sponsors and stuff but you can still show sponsors you can. You still have access to your numbers you can still show that somebody it doesn't become this. Mark that the rest of the world can see which is nice because to me, it's like you have a blog. Than it can just be your content whatever you're doing. It doesn't have this marker number at the top of like how many other people are watching you're looking at it just you know you can sell ads on it because that's how people you know create blogs and make money off of that. But there is this like number at the top. This is how. Many clicks I got and I feel like that's something that would be really beneficial for people. If they're just wasn't the number to compare yourself to other people I, never really got into the game of how many likes or how many people followed because by the time I onto it, there are people who just had like an astronomical number so you're like, oh Like I'm not gonNA play that game so I guess I'll just do it for the fun of it but never for this other game that other people are doing it for and I think that probably has helped my mental health more than anything. In part of it is it makes me feel comfortably old my obstinance towards it like I'm the grumpy person who's leg I don't even know what? Kids are doing, Hey alluvia. What is your favorite rainy day movie I don't know if I would have a favorite one because I think it's whatever is on TV and it's usually forrest gump castaway. Those are great. But. Whenever it's raining I put on TV I don't put on a movie specifically because I don't like the beginning of having to start like it feels like you're like, okay we're sitting in and we're watching this movie I like to find something that's already playing on TV commercials or whatever, and just kind of feel like I've just kind of joined that. Movie. So it's probably like a forrest gump do you have a favorite movie favorite movie actually had to write because I get asked this and like press stop I never really hundred percent half the answer because I feel like it always switches around the I. No, it's a tough question because it's like. Well, there are movies that I admire that I never wanNA. See again, there's also movies where you're like, you say them and you're like, okay like vice a harold and Maude, which is one of my favorites. That's a great one. Especially in Hollywood it's a cool Hanser but then and then there's other ones that like but are still lars and the real girl it's more current or not I guess that current. For other people but it's not as old as Harold and I love that movie and they're very different, and then I love like space and a love back to the future. Those are good comforting movies if they are, but it's really hard to like a favorite favorite movie. What's your favorite movie I? Know it's to this is why I get to ask you. Like stop turning it on me. You know I am must sucker for romantic calm like I even though I view myself as a somewhat cynical person I love like bridget Jones's diary and I'm who? Bought a boy is great. Yeah. At a love forrest Gump to you know Tom Hanks is when you're feeling ill here's compass agreement. He's the man determined to yeah I would love it if you said scary movie four. Can I ask it again Hey Livia. What is your favorite movie Gosh? My favorite movie there's a lot that I would probably say scary movie four. Is probably my number one favorite movie. What about scary movie two? Did you like that one as well? Scary. Movie Two is my third favorite movie. Scary movie one is my second favorite. Okay. Could what's your favorite scene in scary movie for my favorite scene in scary movie four is that scene where you get scared? This episode of employees fide is brought to you in part by all birds. Tree dashers are all birds new high performance running shoe but I wear mine even when I'm not running to be clear I, don't really run unless I'm late somewhere on rare occasions maybe I'll take a long walk but I love the look of these shoes and I love how comfortable they are. So I pretty much wear them all the time I also really love all birds mission, which is to leave the planet in better shape than they founded. The Tree Dasher is a result of that dedication. It's the first show of its kind, a high level performance running. Shoe made from natural sustainable materials like eucalyptus fiber, Reno, wool, sugarcane, and natural rubber. The result is a shoe that's not only environmentally conscious, but also lightweight flexible and like I said extremely comfortable. Did you know that all birds actually measures the carbon footprint of all of their products? It's listed on every pair of socks or shoes just like the nutrition labels on packaged food all birds knows that by holding ourselves accountable, we can create a more sustainable future with all birds feel confident knowing you're wearing a product that's doing right by your feet and the planet then more about the sustainable practices and find your at all birds dot com today. Today's episode of unqualified is brought to you in part by best fiends who doesn't like challenging puzzles and collecting bugs at great music bright colorful visuals a fun story, and you've got best fiends a unique and exciting game experienced unlike any other I have been playing best things all day long. It's the perfect way to pass the time if you're waiting for water to boil bread to bake popcorn to pop and you can play it where you go the kitchen, the bedroom, the bathroom even at the mailbox best. Has Thousands of levels already with new levels, events and characters added month. It's hours of fun right at your fingertips and you can even play off line. One of the best parts of best fiends is getting your friends and family to play to a little socially distance competition is a great way to stay connected with over a hundred million downloads and tons of five star reviews. Best fiends is a must play. So download best means free on the apple APP store or Google play. That's friends without the our best. what's your favorite ice cream flavor rocky road thriftys brand, which is from righted. What was your first boss-like? She's awesome. My first real job was at the Burger King on Yokota. Airbase in Japan I was wearing my skater pants during that time and she said, you look like you'd like to wear your Kloesel at Baggie or do you want me to give you like some baggy pants for the uniform I just thought that was like the nicest thing that she wasn't trying to force me into this lake buttoned up kind of Burger, king uniform. What talent or ability would you most like to have? We could sing okay. What qualities do you look for in a friend loyalty? Someone who always sees the bright side on things someone who can just hang out and watch TV someone who doesn't need to be constantly photographing and videoing everything to put on social media. You know those friends, right? You're like, Oh my God all of sudden I'm doing something just for for all of a sudden. You're videoing me and it's on your stories. What qualities do you look for in a romantic part somebody that's just loyal and fun to be around and smart and has their own job that they are really passionate about. That they're just doing something to get by but like something that they have a really big passion for making money or not they like to do game nights and hang out and they love animals and they're really loyal diva favorite booker author. Well, my favorite book called replay, which is by this author named Ben Grimm would on what occasion do you lie when I have to save someone's feelings but very rarely even then I will most likely tell the truth because I feel like the truth is so much better at the at hurt someone more just to not tell them the truth what about when you told me that scary movie four was your favorite movie. Okay. All right. Well, this is a tougher one to whom would you most like to apologize and why it's a great when I was in college my grandmother she collapsed the midnight four am and I heard my grandfather you know calling out to her and I had to go and call nine one one and on the call at night when they told me that I may need to administer CPR, and in that moment I froze and I was too afraid to, and then I said Oh no maybe she's just like breathing funnier snoring maybe she fell asleep but in that Moment I was wasn't deliberately lying I. Just I was so afraid that I was just hoping that it was that and not something more. I would go back and she ended up passing away and those were her final moments that was probably the the very small win that I had to to bring her back but I, didn't I froze instead and I would go back and probably apologize to not only her but to my grandfather as well for for not doing more but it's one of those things where you you look back do you think of course? I wish I had just done things differently. You know in moments of trauma I feel that I step up when I need to you know But ever since then whenever something happens like that was the worst case scenario to me is to lose somebody that I love so much and so I was at the airport. Last year and this woman start having a seizure right in front of me and I immediately knew clear the area we're getting all. kind of go into mode of just trying to help, and so it's kind of like learn on the other side how to be. Always, aware and present in case something happens because that moment was such a defining moment for me realizing that when I needed to step up the most I I was too afraid to, and I just never wanted to be like that. Again, that's kind of beautiful. Things I don't know if a lot of people get get to that place in life. Okay. Who would you call if you got food poisoning and couldn't really move do question by question is who can you count on that comforts you? Well, one of my best friends is a nurse I've known her since I was thirteen and so whenever anything is going on in my life, she someone I talked to but I'm very lucky I have a lot of close girlfriends. That I've been friends with for years that I can kind of go to them for anything. But her name's Corinne Corinne is probably the one I go to or any kind of medical thing and emotional thing who would you invite to your dream dinner party I would invite my grandma. And My GRANDPA and I'd buy my I well, truthfully, it'd probably be just my family I know that sounds crazy because people think of like all the most amazing people in the world that you can be with and talked to like. Think especially during porn teen. It's made me I mean my family's always been close but really if if I can just have a really great dinner with my family, there's nobody else I'd really. Need to be there. Okay. dealbreakers Olivia Munn I ready I'm ready. Okay. You just had a great first date a nice restaurant as he's driving you home he mentioned that he tipped the Valet fifty dollars. That's dealbreakers. Why are you telling me exactly? It's like, why are you telling me just do it My thought would be like so then. If. You didn't have somebody to tell that to then you probably wouldn't have tipped them. Fifty dollars I think so too unless there was something really charming link Oh. God I thought I gave him a five dollar bill and it turns out they gave him a fifty. That is cute. I'd like the honesty with that. Okay let's see while watching a documentary on flat earthers he turns to you and casually mentions that it shouldn't really matter if the earth is round or flat. Thank God. I think. That would be so entertaining. It would be an old male breaker, but I wanNA talk about person for the rest of the night. Yeah for sure. I imagined this person. Imagine him being like DAB able. What's wrong with living on the edge? So. I'll tell you a conspiracy theorist once for viewers who at the beginning once for a few years. Yup Ma keep can't go. And I. I remember it was early on it was like two months in it. He said the craziest thing to me. It's so crazy that I can't I. It'd be triggering if I said it out loud and I was like I can't eight you I can't remember he broke down crying and was like give me another chance numbers thinking maybe he's just been kind of sheltered for a lot of his life even though he seems like you know he's Successful and he's got some stuff going. But then I realized like you know too far into it and I was like Oh those are some big red flags I'm all for conspiracy theory and trying to understand things that seem like they are more duplicitous in ways. But sometimes, there's like the earth is flat that whole thing or what this guy said, and he then continue to say other stuff you're just like, oh, man I can't. It's like. A conspiracy theorist, a just can't do. This is not my jam nothing that there's a place for them in the world they're just not next to me. Okay, you're a long distance relationship with someone who's house you've never been to. Finally visit him for the first time you discover he sleeps in a bunk bed. Great can I have some follow up questions for you totally yet? Okay. Is there any roommates? No, and does he only sleep on one of the bunk beds? Yes. The top and does he have a regular job? Yeah. He's for the National Park Service. He's arranger. Oh my gosh arranger that sounds fine. Okay Yeah and he has a bunk bed and is at the top bunker the bottom bunk the top the top top on. Yeah. It is. It is like eighteen inches away from the ceiling The roof is a little low and the bunk bed is high. And does he have any problems with not sleeping on the? Is it a deal breaker for him that we always sleep on the top bunk he definitely prefers it. He has whatever the opposite of Vertigo is he he enjoys heights in fact, he doesn't have a ladder to get up there. He has a row from. This guy sounds like an American Ninja Warrior in my he's a park ranger who has a rope that he claims to his top bunk of his bed I would say that is not a deal breaker for me but I like weird things like that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean I don't have to sleep in it. He can sleep in it. I can sleep on the bottom bunk and you can have sex and other places decides like the bed that you sleep been. So that's what makes them feel good and that's how he wants to sleep. You know. When I first moved to La I lived in a studio apartment isn't it a building of townhouses than mine was on the end and I had to climb up into my bunk at night and the bunk with my couch and then faced out to the TV but like I slept in a bed that I basically had if I could sit I sit up in it but I had a hunch over. So I did that I was an adult doing that it was just a big space saver I like a bunk bed. Okay. Okay after watching a national geographic documentary on the origins of Man. Your. Partner announces that he wants to eat more meat. He fills your fridge with beef chicken and pork and starts grilling every after cooking. You Dinner One night he tells you that the chicken was really squirrel and wants to compete on the survival show alone with him. Let's just break it down because the show alone which I have seen and I do like you have to be a laws. I. Can't compete with him loon older the next season they're doing a couples version. Oh, great SONESTA. Well I'd say not cool for tricking me about scroll meet and I am really allergic to mosquito bite so I can't go on any kind of outdoor competitive show because they don't allow you to basically bring like your vitamin. B.. One, which is great for keeping Mosquitos away but spray so I can't be one of your ten items I. Think it's be pretty wasteful to bring like like the ten items you can have survive you're like and I brought my vitamin B.. One. Olivia this time alone, the couples are competing for thirty, seven, million, dollars thirty, seven, million, thirty, seven, million, you start with that Bannon. Okay. I'm eating a squirrel fine. And he just wants to be on with you in the woods and he's like baby as long as I get to pick my five items, you pick your five. Bring all the vitamins you want. Honey Gal love you. You can say in bed stay in my bunk bed, I'll build it for you. I'll go out and hunt. Yeah. Do that yeah. I compete why not I can hunger down pretty well too I can just kind of sit around and do nothing. I know you're a ferocious competitor, I wouldn't want to play game night with you. Do you like game night. No. Oh. Don't know that I like a friendly game night but one of my worst nights in Hollywood was at an actress House for game night and I was so in over my head I just cried and there are those groups I know like in the Hollywood group where they all play their game, they're running charades and they're all crazy steph or they do the. Offi one that might be when you're talking about. Maybe it's just it's really intense and I don't know we'll do it because sometimes there's just really famous people that super distracting. Yeah. Yeah. I fundamentally feel like I don't belong anywhere certain Ya not Hollywood but then a Hollywood game night I mean I really would rather be like on day ninety six alone in the. Arctic. Then I think relive that night. Okay. Is there a moment in your career or personal life that you're most proud of? I mean yeah. There's a lot that when it comes to my mind just because you said professional. So the like hit me more that think just my time on the newsroom those like Ben Nothing that has compared to that, which is unfortunate because that ended in two thousand. Fourteen. So, six years ago but I just loved being able to work with Aaron, Sorkin and that cast and with people hbo and that character and. nothing really compared. It was such a great show and you were so great on how many seasons was it. It was three seasons. It was a two and a half kind of like out Aaron Sorkin decided leave at the end of the second season that he didn't want to do anymore. He was kind of burnt out not that he didn't want to per se but it was just really. Taxing on him because he wrote every single episode himself. So then we decide to come back for just six episodes for the third season to kind of round out the stories but that was it in one word how would you like to be remembered? I don't one word. So hard now I know when I think about this question I, think like I wish that other people could answer it for me. And I would hope they would say like generous are kind or whatever. But I do have a fantasy of somebody saying remarkable. That was just remarkable. Wasn't she? That weren't enough. Listen use that word often. When I think about you, I really do think about loyalty especially in this town and in this time right now. I think it's a tough quality to come by in somebody and I think that's really amazing. Well, I appreciate that it's a character trait that I value a lot and other people completely you know when there was rumors that Chris and I were dating and I had known you and since you were married so to me. That is like a loyalty that you can't break especially like woman to woman and when those rumors were out there I just wanted to reach out to personally because I didn't know if you care like I said in the text cared or didn't care but I just thought that if there was a small chance dot it hurt your feelings in any way I wanted you know that it wasn't true I list like bummed that you weren't could be my sister. Sister. Why I no no. No I thought that was so sweet and Classy of you but I'm not possessive. I think in that particular way I'm possessive and loyal in different ways. But to me the idea of controlling somebody's love life or feeling an ownership of something like I don't have claim over anymore feels incorrect and I've also have a kind of a little bit of a weird ability I think which I don't know if it's a great thing. But when something is over for me, it's usually been over for quite a long time when a decision has been made. I'm usually quite comfortable with I've like emotionally reconcile myself with. IDEA. Well. That's great. I think that's why in the small chance that it is something that you seen, it was bothering you just in the fact that like I think it was close after I can't remember now but I think that the timing of the rumors coming out that Chris and I were dating was not that far from your separation being announced. So an we had separated as you probably know like a bit before them for the yeah. So I didn't want it to feel like it was more to clear the air just in case, but you know it's funny because when those rumors for happening I'm publicized would call me and I'd say like. Ignore it, and then finally he called me one day and he said, okay. So we're getting a calls from people magazine and US weekly and like the big ones and they all have confirmed sources saying. You and Chris Pratt. We're at Craig's last night. And I was like, but I wasn't at crags than I I message them Chris on twitter I think our instagram I can't remember and I was like so who's the Silliman look like you've been hanging out with and he responds back he's like my publicist said were you at Craig's of the Libyan mine last night and I was like, who's Craig Chris said? So. If you hypothetically, if your best friend whoever your best girlfriend has, you've been best friends for ten years or something if she started dating your ex husband would that bother you I suppose if I found out there tab for? Dear friend of mine. Did there was some hookups involved with nother dude that I was with that I didn't find out about until later and I was angry for a few years we there's a friend who had hooked up with an x of yours. Yeah. Well, my ex together there's a friend of yours who your boyfriend at the time Cheetah on UA yet. Yeah and are you still friends at this person? Yes. Wait Ana. I will know it's long was a long journey. Kirscher. PODCAST into list which episodes I'm going to go back and listen. I. Didn't find out until we had broken up and she and I were so close and then it became I think kind of an excuse for me to be. Really furious with both of them when truly I was so excited to get out of that relationship like it was a great way for me a very valid way for me to hang my hat on like feeling furious with. Two people in my life. But I missed her I would think about like if I ever ran into her like I was going to take her down or whatever, and then when a eventually did was on an airplane, which was very odd. We just like sobbed in each other's arms She was like I miss you I'm so sorry I was like I miss you too which was a reaction that I had never fantasized about having and it felt so good. Now we're we're really close and I love her and part of it was helpful that I didn't have feelings for my axe you know that my heartbreak in the affair that they had. was much more missing her than Ham. Well, it's an interesting thing to when you're saying like. You got really ferocious and in a lot of that anger. But as I found my my history when I, look back, I got mad about something but truthfully honest to God in my head I was like I'm not that mad but I'm kind of acting out. I'm supposed to be mad because you did this to me or you cheated on me or you do this. So I'm acting about really I, don't want this anyways I think I'm I'm supposed to be outraged upset and thin and everyone's supposed to be feeling like Hor before they did. But really I'm like Oh. Yeah it's not that I. Don't really care and it's funny how I actually kind of like seen myself from above looking down being like why are you doing is you don't really care and I'm like, yeah I, know. But I gotta keep doing the motions of caring. It was such a perfect way for me to own that story like for me to be able to say to my friends and family yet You know we broke up and can you believe this when you know like it was a way for me to keep all the chips you know and I'm sure that my ex had a lot of complaints about me. Well it's also shows you have a lot of compassion you know that you are not marking your friend by be acts that she did during this period of your life that you see her for so much more than that, and I think that says a lot about you because. It's really difficult I think to sometimes see situations that could be hurtful to you as anything more than just that specific moment in time, and the fact that you can now be such close friends and but that together says law and also I think I don't know if you're still friends with the guy at are you still friends at the guy at all now? So I think a lot of times and I it's a really just big disappointment but. You know in situations like this happen, the girls get the boot and the guys get a second chance and I just think it's a really unfair. A lot of time. So it's really great that this friend of yours got a second chance because a lot of times we don't want to give up to the women. Oh, I missed her so much and have felt terrible to live with anger that was out of love for. Her you know and we were kids Oh. My God. We were just so stupid. We were like having stupid parties in a dingy apartment for like three. So whatever lanker Funny, the things that we don't care about it anymore. Yeah. Yeah. I like how I really didn't care I really don't you know I have this expression that I tell myself La Times is just get there. Now if I remember sat about something I think back to all the other times. I'm like. Well, you know you'll eventually get over it. So just like think about it, it's been a Little, bit of time, not as much as you'd want or would naturally go into but just been a little bit and just get there now because you don't WanNa waste all this extra time eventually getting their because we can just drag out a lot of emotions and sadness and frustration hold onto that anger and at the NATO has a lot of wasted time and I'M GONNA eventually get over it. So, let me just buckle down think about it be sad. I talk to therapists off my friends really like get into it and then make a decision to just see life differently change things in my brain and just keep moving because we can lose a lot of time just not letting things go that we eventually will let go totally yeah I. So subscribe to that idea I like to look at it as almost like a selfishness like I just don't want happy feeling those things inside I don't WanNa be like something nine away at me but I don't know I guess that's The plan. Well, we just keep trying you know do you favorite joke joke up your sleeve? There's only one that I remember what did the egg say to the boiling water? It's GonNa take me a minute to get hard I just came out of this chick. Kind my only. It's it's podcast friendly but not anywhere else. Friendly. Maybe, same podcast. Friendly. ALLUVIA. Thank you enough thank you so much. Thank you so much. Take care. Bye Bye. Hey everyone I would like to introduce you to world renowned clinical sexologists educator and sexy coach Dr Patty Britain, if you want more of Dr Patty, you can find her at Dr Patty Britain dot com links can be found in our show. Hi Dr. Patty Britain thank you so much for joining us today. I am so excited about being here. I'm thrilled to have you. We're GONNA call Nicole okay. Hello Hi Nicole. Nicole, you're here me on it and Dr Patty Britain Hi Nicole. Will you tell us what's happening? Yeah. Okay. So Quite a while. Now I've known that I was into media them but I've never talked about it to anyone including my partner. It's really hard for me to get aroused any other way and I've always thought that there was something wrong with me because of it. in addition I'm really self conscious. So that doesn't help. So I've been with my partner for about three years now starting this month and only about a month ago. I. Finally told him. He's always known that I had a low sex drive but. Ever since I've told him, we've actually had like really good probably the best ever and he tells me he enjoys it but I still can't help feeling like. I should be able to be arousal during normal sex and to be able to have romantic sex. Even though he says he's into it I still just can't help feeling like. Effective and embarrassed and. I don't know. We'll. Nicole I. Want Dr Patty to explain to us a few different things but I want you to know. Nicole. I really love submission. Just to ease your. Your nerves a little bit. It can be really fucking hot Dr Patty will you give us a brief definition of be DSM sure and Nicole I want you to know that you're not alone. That's the first thing I want to say to you is that there are millions of people on planet Earth who are Kinky. And asks what you are and it's for many people a natural part of through you are as a sexual person. So L. deconstruct for a second what Bedia Sam means because it actually means three different things and we don't really think of it that way. But. It means bondage and discipline dominance and submission and Sado masochism. And I don't really know what it is that you enjoy but maybe we can dive into that a little bit and find out what is it about DSM that gets you going I guess it's the bondage court and the the be dominated I don't think I'm really into being the dominant. Is it the physical part of it like the fact that year restrain? Yeah. Well, what happens tell me a little bit more. Like. Usually, it's when both of us are either tipsy or. You know a little drunk. That's usually when I start to get all for ski. And we do it in the bedroom the first time. We did it. He used a belt. because. He didn't really know what to do. And then after a couple more times of trying different things E, we have a lot of bungee cords because we go floating on the river. And So he's that in like kind of tied my hands a love my head in a tied to the bed frame and. Gag Me like. Anyway and We also use the twirl sucker during sex as well. Usually just kind of takes the rain. Then I just kind of lay back and Flooded happened. Well, it sounds so beautiful because you know the fact that you can let go in this way is part of what's making it work for you. Yeah, and I really trust him. Yeah I can tell and you know I have a pretty strong feeling about what you're doing and it sounds as though as long as you've talked about it with him and you negotiated what's Okay and what's not okay and you have a safe word, you know about the safe word yeah we. Really talked about it because I don't think I'd be able to use one to. But you can signal. You could have like if I tap my hand three times that means stop or two times means yellow red yellow, green light type thing. Right we are one point I shook my head because the bungee cords were cutting off my circulation then he got fixture. This is really good that you did that. Really happy to hear that because you're alive to tell us. But you know here's the thing I have a bias as a sexologist, and my biased is that if you're going to be playing with DSM with bondage specially, if you're going to be restrained from being able to talk like you know with a gag or a ball gag or something that's covering your ability to talk, and as long as you can breathe, that's the key you want to stay alive and well. There it's really important to kind of know what you're doing and. The whole protocol in Bedia Sam as you may know is pretty well structured. So it starts with communication. You kind of have a contract verbally Yuna go she ate what's okay. What's not okay you talk about how do you sick know when it's yellow light like not sure you know like my neck is getting pretty tight and you don't want to restrict any of my. My breathing ability or anything on the neck that could really harm you because you know that's a dangerous zone. So I think it's really important if the two of you continue to play this way, which it sounds like is working that you really frame it with consent negotiation and stop words are a for yeah and also are you a part of Fetlife do you belong to? No we've really just started trying it out I've never delved into it except like occasionally corny. But this is the first time I'm actually kind of getting into it. Good. So you know you may want to kind of go into FETLIFE DOT COM play around to learn more the more you know the more fun you're going to have and the more you're gonNA. Let go of this feeling that you have of embarrassment or what you said early touch me when you sat that you feel defective. You're not effective. It's kind of like it's your orientation like without this part of you expressing herself. You don't get off. You don't turn on even right? Yeah and I also just I WANNA be able to have sex without that. You know sometimes and just like be with each other. Yeah, and it's sometimes it's just hard for me to get aroused but I guess sometimes, I just need to you know do it for him not just for me as well. Paul Mental. Well. Yes. You know sometimes we do a service act. For. Your. You know to give to someone that you care about is an act of love or service, and there's nothing wrong with that. But you know I have this feeling Nicole that part of what you could do is the mind is a very powerful tool and the brain actually doesn't know the difference between what we imagine or what we do. Do you know that? Kind of cool science. So if you were to imagine being tied up being restrained with a bell being tied to the bed having something in your mouth, maybe an eye guard on I, love that you use the I call them clip suckers. This new line of Women's sex toys a pleasure products is like really. Tell you more land. But you know we as be males really enjoy having clitoral stimulation. We know that and these things are really powerful little vacuum devices and they're not really vacuum, but they feel like an like. Clint. which is very arousing, and so maybe you could tone it down when you don't feel like going all the way to a kind of bondage experience and maybe just have them hold your hands above your head. You know what? I'm saying like like do some of the things without the tools or the accessories like a belt or a rope because you have. To Be careful if you're gonNA play with those. Yeah. Do you mean both physically Dr Patty and emotionally? Yes it's a combination of the sensation when you restrain sensation when you're in bondage something really amazing happens. It's weird. It's like the opposite of what you'd expect. So your body is being tightened and you can't move parts of your body and it frees you. You feel free inside. So the more you restrain. If you're oriented this way, the freer you feel and when you feel free, you can even have what and Bedia S- Emma's referred to sometimes as flying. Where you're almost like flying out of your body feels so good, which is also what happens for some people at Orgasm, right? Yeah. It's. It's almost like cut software other senses, and that's what I can focus on Yeah Ana do have questions I do for you Dr Patty, because I love to be at times I, loved a role play. I. Don't know if that's because I'm an actor but I love to do like professor. Student who needs an a or you know I loved place Ski Lodge with a Group of friends even though it's just Michael, myself course and the power went out whatever I like. I like to mentally escape sometimes like that. But I do like sometimes to be dominant and sometimes I like to be submissive I do sometimes love like a light spanking or like you know a little tub and I do feel maybe W- as women we feel an obligation to analyze these things more in terms of is stemming from a societal guilt and maybe it shouldn't be examined too much what I know. He'll have a few minutes Dr Patty and you're smiling at me like, okay, this is a lot. You like packing you know all living occasion. Her. In two minutes. Yes. No but I'll give it a stab. So here's the thing we get off when we're denied something. So there's something about how like if you take my sight away, my hearings going to be stronger, it's going to be more acute and we enjoy change and variety. That's what stimulates the brain, the dopamine in our brain. That's what turns us on, and that's what keeps US excited. You're talking about role play, which is actually part of Bedia Sam interestingly enough because were playing with what we call a Roddick power. It's an erotic power exchange. So you can imagine you know the school teacher, the schoolmarm with the roller and the naughty little boy, the classroom acting out right here in giggles. And I and there's energy in that and even if we just changed the way we talk and I say to you. You are being bad. Sit Down Little Girl. Okay. You feel something. That's part of running out of. Energy and the power exchange is what makes it work? So I think lots of US come from an experienced enjoying playing sex should be about play is not work. I don't know about whether women analyze more. I certainly know a lot of men who analyze as much as women do. So I don't know if it's gender-based but I think that we process a lot more. We get much more concerned about how people think about us then boys and girls I guess my question to you. Also Dr Patty is should some of these things be analyzed like do I need to think about Oh like you know the guilt that I had like losing my virginity when my parents didn't want me to you know like I don't WanNa go to those places is their validity in that idea of just simply Not. Having to examine what delights US absolutely, and here's the thing unless it's distressing you and your obsessing about it just accept it's who you are. It's how you are as what I want to say to you Nicole is that this is how you are is kind of how you're wired. That's what an orientation means. So when you're wired in this way, don't judge it. Don't feel embarrassed don't analyze it. Don't pathologies. It don't make it a disease or disorder, which is what psychology tends to do about a lot of things that may be just plain natural, just being human. And as sex stock, we really normalize. That's the word that I like to use. A lot of things that might be looked at by people who are either my clients or other professionals who are like, Oh, you mean, this person is into, is there something wrong with that? What happened in their childhood asthma trauma? Sometimes need to. Right. Yes. I. Love that philosophy just be an accept it and enjoy life is short. We're learning that. Aren't we? Live in this moment and enjoy and find the pleasure in it. Pleasure is a really important part of all of this. Nicole does your partner really enjoy it as well? Yeah. He said at first he was kind of nervous because he'd never done it before you know neither had I but he said I think during it I think he enjoys himself more than he lets on but yeah, I think he. I'm excited to maybe try some role play. Yeah. And you know the more you have fun with it the the more elaborate you become with it like. And you plan for a and you you know you set your bedroom in a different way or when the world. and. You can. There are placed spaces in the world where you can go and explore theme rooms for example, where maybe there's a schoolroom or maybe there's a medical examination room, our core room you know all of this stuff stimulates us so that we can be creative and enjoy each other in different ways. But the thing that I really want to say again to you sweetie is that it's very important that you learn how to do these things because when you are playing with a belt or ropes or restricting your breathing with gag over your mouth, if somehow something were to slip in. Your noses covered then your breath is at risk, right? So you WanNa make sure you understand what the etiquette is for DSM and I guess what I'm suggesting checkout fetlife because one of the cool things that happens all around the world is that there are groups that get together in local areas called Munches, and I'm sure they're all online now, which munch is like a lunch meeting where you made other kinksters and do anything, you just get to know each other and you talk about things in there a lot of classes that are available for you. So so just be safe but also be. Be Playful about it. Nicole I love being a high end call girl that doesn't speak English. I love it especially during quarantine. It's been really fun to wear some of my nicer things because and what is your name oh? It's usually like a sweat Lonnie kind of. Got these European yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This good. I like escaping in that world and I'm not always as brave I. Think I don't know as people would maybe assume I guess because the act for a living but of course, like sexuality is its own different realm of vulnerability and exposure. So I think I don't know maybe sixty seventy percent of the time I like to feel slightly helpless and like like I was suggesting I don't necessarily want to link that to the guilt that. I have being an American woman who's forty-three raised with like slut was heard every day all the time growing up as something you did not want to be. So I carry those things with me but I love being at a place in my life where I can have much I. think of much healthier attitude towards sacks it feels great to feel really safe and I get supply poor Michael. His sitting right over there he's like, oh Right. But in the call when you wrote in your email feeling embarrassed I think that is totally normal Dr. Patty. Would you agree well, it something new that you're expressing that you haven't before and we live in a kind of society that teaches us to feel ashamed right I. think shame is even more dramatic than embarrassment Do you feel any of that? Nicole. I don't know I. Guess it's hard because. I you know suffer from anxiety and it's hard to really tell the friend sometimes. I try to work you know. That by bit different ways. Yeah. I think you're doing really well and I think that the more you give yourself permission to explore this and to express this part of you the more you're GonNa, feel more confident as a woman. I know that actually and it's going to, it's going to leak over into other parts of your life because you know it's funny when we change our sexual patterns, which to me is the core of ourself. Those patterns are like circles in the Stream when you throw a rock into the streamer, the river and it just has ripple. Dr Pattie Wood a great correlation to make a between like having a healthy happy exciting sex life. Of course that permeates through the rest of your life maybe in ways that we can't even really recognize I guess. I. Love That Idea I. Love the idea that if I get spanked then somehow. Confident. Let's what you're saying, right? Hey, I can take a spanking. About it too. and. I guess the other thing I want to say to you Nicole is that Bedia Sam really has become mainstreamed. Thanks to fifty shades of grey. and whether we like fifty shades of Grey as art or not doesn't really matter it changed the conversation. So there's a lot more acceptance. One of the top films on Netflix's today guess what it is about BPM relationship. So you know you can feel part of a really large circle of people who are normal and just naturally expressing who they are You get to do that. Thank you I really appreciate the insight and. I really needed that stone tossed into my my river to. Create ripples. and Dr Petty Don't you think probably with most couples I would think that Nicole's partner mean in a healthy happy relationship, he must be delighted but I would think that if your partner is happy if you can please your partner that must be very gratifying I would think, yes and he's always wanted to make sure when we do have sex that I have enjoyed myself I have either you know or get lender come you know whatever. But he always make sure that like I am like taken care of and that like always just makes me feel so appreciated in loved absolutely he's a keeper. If this is like new territory for both of you I think just having trust and in close companionship I am sure we must be essential Dr Patty. What do you think? Okay. So let me break this down quickly if you have as you wrote about it fetish or call it which it isn't really a fetish fetish is usually about an object in like a foot fetish or a latex. Fetish. But if you need with big air quotes around it, a Bedia, some kind of relationship to ignite your sex drive because you said, you've had a low sex drive. If had the best sex ever since telling him experiencing this. Then this is an important part of you. If you had a partner who couldn't go there I don't know that you could sustain your sexual connection together a really. So you have something really important happening here and it's opening you both up. The other thing is that men tend to get off from watching their partner be satisfied and so there's something very classic about that. He sees you happy sexually he sees you with that clip sucker going on with your arms above your head with your mouth restrain and you're loving it in your body is responsive and you're in it and it's happening and is working. He gets off from that because he's a male. And because he cares about you, he's generous. He's a generous lover and that's really what all lover should be as generous with their partner. Dr Patty. It sounds like Nicole has a wonderful partner but I love the idea that if you do want to experiment or like dive into be DSM world. That it's done safely with communication So first of all the basis of all relationships and we know this today pretty strongly from the me too movement has to be consent. So as adults in consent. And one of the seems that I I WANNA say out loud is that your body belongs to you and if you get a feeling that this is not working for me, you have a right to stop whatever's going on. And it isn't for everyone DSM is not vanilla as we used to call it. It's not a flavor that majority likes. It's a specialty flavor of ice creams and that's the flavor you enjoy or you want to try it great but learn how to be safe. This is my main message safety I that means learning how these things work. You don't want to do harm to the body you're playing with fire in some ways literally invidious And so you need to be careful about things like restraining to tied around where blood might flow. You ought to be careful about spanking on bone or where you can harm or injure somebody in a delicate vulnerable part of their body. You want to be careful about restraining the ability to breathe breath play err things called edge play that are there danger zones now here's the thing when you're terrified, you're also excited the physiology of both of the same. So people who play with these edges and Bedia Sam. Are having excitement building, but they've contained it ahead of time they've had a conversation about it. They've made boundaries around it like it's okay if we do this but not that that's not okay and there's always the right in the middle of a scene. That's what we call an act in a scene to use your safe, your stop word, your red light or your yellow light like Oh this is it's too tight. I lead trainings around the world live trainings window world is open. and. Teach people in sexology how to explore different parts of being a sexual person including semi have experts come in and sometimes we have experts in what's called shabery rope play a Japanese form of rope play on the body. It's a form of restraint. It's very beautiful. It's very quiet, very slow, but it can bind parts of the body to the point where circulation. The person who is the top the dom the person administering this has to know how to read the submissive the person they're tying so that everyone is safe is like a big picture frame and safety is that picture frame and whatever is okay within that picture frame between two consenting adults is fine and it can be very very very extensive and intense or it could be light and fluffy and playful. So safety I is really the big issue here. Does. That answer Ana yes, I think so. What was that website? You said you're kidding me very interested in this that life dot ready I'm just writing it down. That's all. And it's global. There are millions and millions of people who it's the facebook for kinksters is what it's called. Lovingly, Kinky people I like it. Yeah. So Nicole one other idea I have for you. Is Maybe. Lighten up. On drinking. If you're going to be playing with Bedia Sam. Okay. If you went to a Bedia simp- sleigh space like a club or they're called Dungeons often wherever you live and this for everybody listening there actually is no alcohol on the premises or it's not recommended that people who play actually drank at all or alter their consciousness was substance because you're gonNA go through a lot of changes in your own brain, your body is. Really going to give you the is so you don't really need that that's Dean hitter and sometimes we need that when we're starting something new so I think that was a good choice at the time. But I, think you and your partner on the road to something exquisite together a like that Dr Patty something exquisite. I think that's wonderful and Nicole I can give you my list of characters you can borrow any time. Inc... Hey Nicole truly thank you for opening up to us and talking about something that is obviously very personal and I know that we're going to get a lot of response now. Thank you as. I feel very hurt and I feel supported in. Thank you so much. I want to say thank you for being so real and so courageous to share. Thank you. Thank you sweetie. Thanks Nicole. Okay. Thank you. Dr Patty. Thank you so much. Your advice is invaluable and I just love talking with you. Thank you. It was my pleasure. Bye Bye. Bye. Bye. Hey dear listeners. Please check out our new website at unqualified dot com and please send us your questions.

Hollywood Olivia Munn High School Oklahoma Japan instagram Tokyo Craig Chris migraine Kyoto Tokyo Livia Caicos Caicos Turks Mike OCD people magazine Julie Miami
Burgeoning coronavirus hot spots threaten US Midwest

MSNBC Rachel Maddow (audio)

47:12 min | 9 months ago

Burgeoning coronavirus hot spots threaten US Midwest

"The show we had nine stern on. Msnbc you know there were some positive signs over this past weekend the holiday weekend when the daily death poll from Corona virus seemed to be dropping On Friday a week ago. Today you might remember the number of Americans who died from Corona virus that day topped two thousand for the first time in this epidemic which was a terrible milestone again. That was a week ago today. We were over two thousand one twenty four hour period for the first time but then over last weekend's a holiday weekend over the Easter weekend. Those numbers dropped back a little bit and it seemed like maybe the numbers had maybe hit their peak and would start to consistently dropped. That's obviously when everybody was hoping But since then the numbers have been back up over two thousand deaths each day for Tuesday this week Wednesday Thursday now for today as well. It's just astonishing to be having that many Americans killed every day now more than two thousand Americans every day but just looking how fast this thing has exploded. And if you go back. Seven weeks ago to the last Friday in February that Friday February twenty eighth four Americans had been killed by corona virus a week later March six. That was twenty six Americans who had been killed week after that March thirteenth it was fifty five Americans Dead Week after that March twentieth. Two hundred and forty seven Americans dead one week after that we went from two hundred forty seven to one thousand five hundred seventy four and the month of April has just been astonishing since then in that one week between Friday march twenty seventh and Friday April third. We went from about fifteen hundred. Americans dead to more than seven thousand by last Friday April ten. That number had more than doubled and now since last Friday we are having more than two thousand Americans die every day. We've got more than thirty. Two Thousand Americans dead overall now and that has all happened. We've killed thirty two thousand Americans in less than eight weeks. New York continues to have the worst toll Even as we are seeing all these good signs statistical signs in New York. The number of new infections each day is slowing in. Its rise. The number of people hospitalized is falling the number of people in ICU. Beds is falling but still the death toll is sky high in New York every day and it is staying there today. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announced yet again more than six hundred deaths in New York in the past twenty four hours. Six hundred six deaths yesterday. Six hundred and thirty today those numbers. It's been above six hundred seven hundred for all the last week and of that. Six hundred and thirty number today. The number of New Yorkers who have died in the last twenty four hours a again today governor. Cuomo took care to specify the how many of those deaths in New York in the past twenty four hours were in nursing homes. It was forty of those six hundred and thirty deaths. We're going to check in later. This hour with one of the front-line intensive care doctors who has been serving in a Bullseye New York City. Hospital Saint Barnabus Dr Ernest Patty. We spoke to last week. You may remember about the condition in his incredibly hard hit. Icu at Saint Martin. We're going to check back in with Dr Patty tonight. Live right at the end of his shift to talk to him about what it is like in the ICU is now as new. York is seeing in the data of possible light at the end of the tunnel but the colonel is still so black and so long and so cold with more than six hundred New Yorkers dying every day it's interesting. We watched Italy so closely from here as a as a precursor. We're worried that Italy was going to be a precursor as to what we would go through in this country. Those warnings were exactly right in terms of US following Italy and then them handing the baton of having the worst outbreak on because we saw Italy. Go before us. We were also heartened. When we saw Italy start to turn their curve start to bend their curve. We started to see their infection. New Infections their their new hospitalizations their ICU utilization numbers starting to go down. But even as Italy turned the corner on those numbers as New York is now. Italy's death toll still hold steady an incredibly high rate. Even now I mean they are a couple of weeks ahead of us but Italy is still even today up over five hundred deaths per day and it is not coming down. I mean just like New York. Looks like it's turning the corner on some very important metrics but New York doubts are staying high high high every day over six hundred over seven hundred and the Plateau. Very high death numbers every day. That's very worrying in terms of thinking about the overall number of Americans who are going to lose their lives here by the end of this epidemic in we are seven weeks into it. We are over thirty thousand Americans. Dead and the worst hit places are still turning in unimaginable daily numbers New York as I said over six hundred deaths minimum every day. New Jersey had three hundred twenty three deaths in the past twenty four hours. That's their worst yet. New Jersey has had more than fourteen hundred deaths in the past four days. I mean those numbers. You start to combine those numbers day after day and state next to state and it is just we are losing a lot of people and we are going to lose a lot of people but this is the challenge that we have as Americans now who in our lifetimes are going through this and who will have to answer for what we did. In this trying time we will have to answer for what we did as Americans to minimize the number of lives lost save as many people as po and toward that end. There's two things I think that will be worth keeping in mind tonight this Friday night and as we head into another weekend. I is something that we've been talking about in this show a lot over the last past week or so but I have some news to share about it tonight that I think you will find interesting and different from the way we've been talking about it in recent days and that's the issue of nursing homes and long term care facilities which as you know has been has has robbed me of my ability to sleep for the past week or so. It's because those are the places where V most American lives are at risk from the pandemic. Where the most vulnerable patients are at most risk of infection and at most risk of not getting the care. They need to keep them alive. Now I want to tell you tonight. that we are starting to see some important movement on the issue of nursing homes and long term. Care facilities. It's not for the federal government. Of course which is where we really needed to be but we are at least seeing what I think is important movement from some states. Now I went out on my way to mentioned a moment ago. That New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has started briefing every day. Not just on the death toll in New York State. But he's specifically started breaking out the number of those deaths in the past twenty four hours that came from nursing homes and that is good. That is really good that he is doing that because as much rightful attention as there has been to the hospital into the health workers at hospitals fighting for the lives of Americans suffering with Corona Virus. The nursing homes in the long term care facilities are the other place in our country where huge numbers of corona virus patients will be an are being found and ought to be being tested treated either saved or not making that visible as one of the front lines alongside hospitals is good. Because that's the way we need to think about those facilities in terms of what places need resources. What places need our support? What places need additional staff so today? New York's a- of this week. New York's governor is breaking the number of deaths in nursing homes alongside the deaths in hospitals very good today. New York state also started releasing individual data about individual nursing. That have had more than five depths someone their residents from corona virus. I don't know if you saw this today. I'm sort of surprised. Didn't get more attention than it did. It is a long and sobering list of New York thirsting homes that have had more than five deaths among their residents. But you know what? There's no reason this information should be secret. I mean just as individual states counties cities hospitals workplaces shouldn't be keeping this information secret. The stuff can't be seeking an epidemic letting people know that you've got cases that you've got an outbreak that you've got deaths among your workplace population or your resident population. That information has to be known. It's the only way that you can get help. That people know to try to get you resources to try to limit the additional body count. I don't mean to be that blunt about it but that that's why this information needs to be made public even under normal circumstances. You wouldn't expect facilities like this to publicize it when people died in their facility. We now need to know. I mean these places were. Dozens of Americans are dying. We need to know where they are first of all. Because it's right that we know right but also because the staff there will need bolstering. We'll need help we'll need PPA. The remaining living residents in these places were lots of other residents have died. They need us to see them. They need us to be able to see the danger there in because they need to be given help. We can't help trouble-spots that we don't know about. But now we know about a lot of them in New York because New York state has started publishing individualized facility data. So we know. For example. Today in Cobble Hill Brooklyn. This facility has had fifty five of its residents die in these two facilities in the Bronx. The one on the left has had forty five of its residents die. The one on the right has had thirty five of its residence. Tie In this Manhattan Nursing. Home on the left thirty one residents have died in this. Staten Island home on the right. They have lost forty four souls. Here's four facilities in Queens new figures released by New York State Today. Say That one hundred and forty eight. Americans have died in these four facilities. Have to tell you that may be an undercount in just one of these facilities in Queens. The one on the far left of your screen there the Sapphire Center for rehabilitation and nursing that's listed in New York state stated. Today's having twenty six of its residents die but an article that appeared in the New York Times today says that the director of that facility the Software Center Told his local state representative that the death toll. There is actually higher than that. It's not twenty six. It's twenty nine. The Times also spoke to to workers at that facility who spoke with time on the condition of anonymity because they didn't want to lose their jobs. Those workers told The Times that they believe the real death toll just at that one facility in Queens is more like sixty residents who have died which knocks you back on your heels to think that but again. New York State reported twenty six deaths from that facility today to workers. They're telling the New York Times they believe it's more like sixty and it is. Its Own Problem. Not just something to lament but literally something to fix. It is something that needs to be fixed that we don't know the real count at that facility or at other facilities around the country we need to know. We need to know because those places need help and they need targeted resources. If you're associated with low societies and you don't want people to know how bad your problem is. This is not the time to be defensive or to be worried about your liability. This is the time to stop the body count by being public about your trouble so you can get help the time today redid. Its own national account of nursing home deaths as well. The Times concluded that more than seven thousand Americans have died of Corona virus in nursing home so far but the times acknowledges as this everybody who's tried to do these counts. Usa Today is done account. Ap's done account NBC. News Time's acknowledges that that's probably a huge under because some states some county. Some facilities just aren't reporting their deaths. Which is astonishing but it needs to be fixed. We need to have real data real numbers because Americans just can't be allowed to die in large numbers in secret unknown and therefore lamented. I mean we're working first world country last I checked. We don't allow thousands of people elderly or not to die with no record of it and without giving all of us at least a chance to get help to them and so we need to know multiple states. The federal government is absolutely useless on this score but multiple states. This week are trying to change it. Ohio Republican governor. Mike Dewine this week signed an executive order to mandate reporting public reporting by facilities in his State. Good same thing from Democratic Michigan Governor Gretchen. Whitmer who we spoke with last night on this show that executive order in Michigan. Good New York as we just showed you now breaking out the death toll in aggregate from nursing homes and publishing information as of today on individual facilities in the numbers that have died there as painful as it is to see that information. It's absolutely necessary and I wanNA tell you tonight. That other states are stepping up in other ways. Yes the federal government is still failing to do anything in this part of the crisis at all but states in the absence of any federal leadership are now innovating as new states by necessity innovate. Some of them will start to develop new best practices for how to deal with this pandemic in the most vulnerable places in the country and as that happens every state in the country should try to emulate those best practices and so we'll try to track them as they develop it in Massachusetts for example where we're half. The states deaths have been in nursing home so far the state has now told every nursing home and assisted living facility in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts that the state will come in and do testing for free for all residents an all staff regardless of symptoms. That's a good start. I mean those tests need to be repeated frequently. It can't just be a one time thing. But the state taking responsibility for getting testing to every facility in the state for all residents for all staff. That is a good start in some facilities. They are using the National Guard to go in and do the testing in Massachusetts nursing homes. Because the state says we'll get everybody tested in every facility. Good to good start. It's just a start. It's a good start in the state of Oklahoma today worse. We'll get somebody into heaven someday if they are not empty words and they signify a real change the state health department announcing within the past twenty four hours in Oklahoma that getting testing and PPE proper personal protective equipment into nursing. Homes is now the top priority of the Oklahoma state health department. I've been waiting for a state health department to say that in Oklahoma. They have formed a state. Long term. Health facility taskforce. Okay call it whatever you want. They've got somebody working on the problem. They broke the state into eleven regions. Each region has reportedly been assigned an epidemiologist dedicated nursing team and long-term Care Consultants. Those teams will be responsible in each of their eleven regions forgetting testing at each facility in their part of the State and Oklahoma newspaper reports. Today that those teams will also work on how to isolate residents. Who have it? They will beef up. Infection Control Protocols in nursing homes and they will quote work with facilities on their personal protective equipment. Needs now working with them on. Those needs is not the same thing as committing to get those facilities. What they need but at least they're pointing in the right direction right. At least they are pointing at the part of the problem where the most Americans will lose their lives. If we don't change course and start helping now I will say the state of Oklahoma is also doing some relief. Dumb things at the same time. The state's governor now says he wants to start elective surgeries next week. For some reason. The Oklahoma Hospital Association the Oklahoma Medical Association the Oklahoman Nurses Association are screaming bloody murder. About what a terrible idea that is particularly because Oklahoma has a dire shortage of PT. And that matters both for its hospital staff and also for its Nursing Home Staff. So you don't want to be burning on surgeries you. By definition don't have to do the Tulsa world today quotes the person in charge of the state's peop- supplies saying that. Oklahoma has roughly ten percent of the masks. They believe they need right now. So choosing to go back to reopening elective surgeries to use. A ton of them is insane. Oklahoma is making some terrible decisions to or at least the governor is trying to make some terrible decisions but now people can do good things and bad things at the same time and the state decided to zero in on nursing homes as stated explicit top priority of the health department in that state. Yes yes other states honestly should be doing that too. If you're trying to save the most lives and if you're looking at the numbers of who is at the most risk and who is dying at the quickest clip so that's your update today in terms of nursing homes. Watch the states as they try to figure this out and then hopefully watch the states and learn from each other as the federal government abdicates the lives of these tens of thousands of Americans that are at risk in these facilities as the state. Start to pick it up. Other states should feel pressure to start. Doing what the well run states are doing reporting that information making it public making exceptions to your previous roles to make that information public and then committing to get to those places could use the national guard if you need to use. National Guard medics if you need to if you called up. Your Medical Reserve Corps recently retired healthcare people to come back into the field. One of the places you could be using them is to uplift nursing homes and long term care facilities to staff them up to shore them up to help them develop better infection control facilities and the other things. They're going to need to to to surge the medical care. They're able to provide to their residents. Do It all right so watch that the other place to keep your eyes on right now and watch this over the weekend is this is going to develop some worried about this. A cluster of states in the middle of the country that have no stay at home orders in place but where there are now big burgeoning epidemics a number of which seemed to be springing from large meat processing facilities where lots and lots of people work in very very close quarters and where circumstances have been such that. It seems like we've got many burgeoning outbreaks in many of these facilities. I mean big clusters. Big outbreaks are bad anywhere. They are particularly bad in states. That are light on hospital beds while simultaneously being blessed with governors. Who Don't want to do anything statewide to stop water now fast-growing epidemics in those places and we've got a cluster of three states where that is happening right now that you should keep an eye on one of them. South Dakota one of the fastest growing case counts in the country. Right now. They've got this huge cluster of cases at a Sioux falls meat processing plant. That cluster alone has now ballooned to seven hundred and seventy seven known cases. There aren't even a million people in South Dakota. They've got seven hundred. Seventy seven known cases in that one cluster. There's no stay at home order in South Dakota After total rejection of his requests for a stay at home order from the governor the mayor of Sioux falls as of today has dropped his own effort to try to put in place a stay at home order just for his city in the South Dakota Situation. Here with the largest known cluster in the country. It's just like watching a slow motion train wreck near the eight hundred known cases that one plant was two hundred and fifty at the start of the week we are told reliably that they still have not tested everyone who works at that plant. There's no stay at home order the local paper. The Argus leader is running a running tally every day. Now of all the new workplaces in and around Sioux falls that have decided to shut themselves down or have otherwise reported that they too now have coronavirus cases among their workers will. That's because everybody's still going to work because there's no stat homeowner in South Dakota because the governor thinks it's fine. South Dakota has one of the most rapidly increasing caseloads in the country. The entire state of South Dakota has ground total of twenty three hundred hospital. Beds governor though is unperturbed. We do have a hotspot in Sioux Falls I think everybody is well aware of that. And people are talking about that. I also want to give you a little bit of perspective on this situation I know that the national news is talking about the fact that this is a hot spot in the nation You know that's fine however they want to classify it We'll take it. We've given our businesses and opportunity to be innovative They've had the opportunity to still deliver services to their customers. We we just have a really business friendly environment. It's it is very friendly. South Dakota borders both Nebraska and Iowa both also have Republican governors who have not put in place. Stay at home orders. The Iowa governor. Kim Reynolds has spent the last couple of days talking about what appears to be a new burgeoning outbreak at a meat processing plant in Waterloo Iowa. Several meat processing plants in Iowa have already closed the one in Waterloo. Though is open the local mayor in Waterloo has asked for the plant to be closed given the burgeoning number of cases their workers at the plant. Say they were only even told to cover their faces at work. As of Tuesday of this week the governor is repeatedly now acknowledging what looks like an outbreak plant there but the plant for now is staying. Open worryingly. The governor keeps saying publicly. Her press conferences this week that she believes the. Usda is probably doing something to keep workers safe at that plant. Nobody knows what she's talking about with that as the. Usda appears to be doing no such thing but she thinks that's happening and so they are. They are blundering on in Iowa again. No stay at home order in Iowa in Nebraska. This was the front page of the Omaha World Herald today lamenting that the outbreak in Grand Island Nebraska. Which is the state's third slow third largest city Grand Island Nebraska is as a capital case rate on par with hard. Hit states like Louisiana and Michigan Michigan. Which now has the third highest death rate in the country? They've only got one hospital in Grand Island got hundreds of cases in that community. Eleven patients at that one hospital were on ventilators already as of yesterday but the state health director keeps saying that everything will be fine. They're they're reporting that they've got a bead on a few other ventilators. They might be able to scare us from other places maybe for that one hospital the local health director and the mayor of Grand Island again. This is the local health director not the state health director. Who Says Everything's fine? The local health director and the mayor of Grand Island Nebraska have asked the Governor. Please for a stay at home. Order shelter at home order please. Maybe even for just a couple of weeks. They could try to get their hands around this fast. Growing outbreak there Governor rickets in Nebraska has told Grand Island. No they can't do that. Because everything's falling governor Ricketts of Nebraska said today quote. Our plan is working. I don't know what the plan is exactly but it apparently involves opening up the giant Nebraska crossing lull as of next week. They're planning on reopening big outlet mall next week while they don't deal with this huge outbreak in the middle of the state. That's already pretty well. Full up filled up the the the one hospital in that community the Nebraska Hospital Association is up in arms about them planning to reopen this gigantic malls saying doing that would quote pose a serious threat to the health of all Nebraska since Governor Pete Ricketts not listening to the Nebraska Hospital Association. He's got no plans to stop the opening. That big shopping center opened it all back up the real truth of what's going on. In America's Corona virus outbreak is. Not something that you are going to find by listening to whatever is said into the podium at the White House daily briefings. The real truth of what's going on in America's corona virus epidemic isn't just on the coasts and in the places that we know are the hardest hit already like New York and New Jersey. The real truth of what's happening in our country. We'VE GOT THIRTY THOUSAND AMERICANS DEAD already. The real truth of it is right in the middle of our heartland now to some of the biggest worries. We've got right now. Are Right in the center of the country and they're also in those little noticed low profile nursing homes and care facilities in rest homes that are in every city and every suburb and every little town in the country that are used to getting attention while it's all of our business now because that's where the most Americans need the most help heads-up is open. This is going to be a trying time. Hey It's Chris. As this week on my podcast. Why is this happening? I'll be talking with computational. Biologists Carl Bergstrom but what we do and don't know about the corona virus once these things get out there and this is sort of a key aspect of misinformation and disinformation is once. They're out there. They really take off and they spread in so Jonathan Swift said several hundred years ago that falsehood flies and truth comes limping after. And that's what happens on the Internet. Of course did there's more recent version of this which is known as Brandolini Book Day symmetry principle and it says the amount of work that it takes to clean up. Bowl is an order of magnitude larger than the amount of work it takes to create it so we definitely see that sort of thing happening with all kinds of conspiracy theories including this one around the virus. That's this week on. Why is this happening? Search for wise is happening wherever you're listening right now and subscribe. Hey everyone it's mainly MSNBC correspondent and host of the new podcast into America in our latest episode. We go to Nashville Seattle and all over the Internet to see just how creative some people are getting to keep the music going. What happens when gigs were cancelled? Clubs are closed and school concerts are called off when people listen to music. They're feeling the emotions and the closeness of somebody else even if they can't be in the same space as them viruses keeping US home. But as you'll hear it can't stop the music. The importance of music is to keep our spirits up. Were in this situation and in my opinion as well make the best of it. Subscribe for Free. Wherever you get your podcast. Four minutes ahead of schedule like ninety seven thirty eight from China couldn't get to Illinois fast enough loaded with millions of masks and gloves for Illinois. First responders were told. Security was heightened out of an abundance of caution. Some saying there was concern. The feds may somehow intercept this precious cargo. The state calling it a Herculean task the flight which began in Shanghai Costing Illinois taxpayers. Eight hundred eighty eight thousand dollars. According to these state receipts saw its final leg. Take off from Anchorage Alaska. A second flight with similar cargo scheduled for next week dubbed by some as secret flights to keep Washington from muddying the Pricey delivery at three twenty one PM local time chartered. Fedex flight landed at O'hare International Airport in Chicago yesterday carrying two dozen pallets of masks and gloves. Pp bought by the State of Illinois brought to Illinois basically in stealth mode so the federal government couldn't swoop in and try to seize those supplies. The reason to worry about that is because the federal government has been doing that with shipments to other states Illinois managed to land that plane full of supplies less than an hour after announcing the state's highest single day death toll so far today Illinois reported the highest single-day rise in new confirmed cases and governor Jay Pritzker announced what Illinois parents and families have honestly been expecting to hear about the rest of their lost school year. I've said time and time again. My decisions are hard ones but they will follow the science and the science says. Our students can't go back to their normal routine. Therefore I am suspending in person learning in schools for the remainder of the two thousand nine hundred twenty twenty school year that announcement today affects two million schoolkids across Illinois Illinois. They've got A. They've got hospital struggling with surging patient loads they've got very worrying outbreaks in nursing homes and other worrying outbreaks behind bars now like other. Midwestern States Illinois has multiple cases than an important Meat Packaging Plant Ball Illinois. State Officials. Say the peak. There is yet to come joining us now for the interview is a man who has lot to do at the moment. Jay Pritzker as governor of the Great State of Illinois Sir. I know that you are incredibly busy right now. Thank you for making time to talk with us. Thanks for having me on Rachel. Let me ask you how concerned you are about. What you know is coming in of apex patient loads and what you're expecting in terms of case numbers and the resources that your state has to handle them. You've obviously had to go to pretty extreme lengths to try to make sure that those pallets full of equipment landed safely and actually got to the Right Place Illinois. What are you most worried about in terms of scaling up to meet the challenge? Why'd remind you that we put our Stay at home order in place actually second in the nation to do so and so we were in a very good position from the start in terms of bending the curve and we've seen bending of the curve so originally we had estimates of thousands and thousands of deaths that would come to Illinois if we didn't put the stay at home in in place and we believe that based upon hospitalization numbers based upon even the new cases even with the high of new cases today that We're reaching a pack. It's going to be a couple of weeks But we have been preparing for some time now so in addition to expanding hospital beds at existing hospitals I also contracted to build out McCormick place our convention center in Chicago so that we would have plenty of space three thousand beds in fact for any overflow that might occur at our hospitals. You've been pretty outspoken. About your frustrations with the federal response and with what feels like the sort of random approach from the federal government toward individual states in terms of what the federal government is willing to help with. Is that relationship getting any more rational over time. Are you saying improvement at all from the federal government in terms of what they're offering the states and what they're willing to help with? We've got a lot of terrific help from the Army Corps of Engineers and the army and FEMA and hhs on the ground They've really been very good to us. But the irrationality has come out of the White House. It's when they make promises from the White House directly to me and then don't deliver. Originally they promised Tens of thousands of tests. We never got those then. They promised hundreds of thousands of e. We never got what we asked for. In fact I got I asked for three hundred thousand and ninety five masks directly to the President I and his staff and they said we'll deliver that in fact they said in trump time and then a few days later three hundred thousand surgical masks arrived. As you know those are very different things So we've been very disappointed over time about the promises and the failure to deliver on those promises by the White House. Having said that you should see what the Army Corps of Engineers has done at McCormick place and three other hospitals across the state That we've been building out to make sure that we have surged capacity. They really are heroes. They worked together with our union laborers across the state. And I'm just so pleased and proud and I am hopeful. Very hopeful there will be able to manage the surge. Let me ask you about nursing homes in your state. We are watching the federal government essentially abdicate any responsibility for overseeing helping nursing homes But we are starting to see states Innova just in the past week. We've seen The State of Michigan and Ohio put in place executive orders from their governors Among other things requiring nursing homes to make public account of their cases and or they're deaf counts in some cases other states are going further in terms of guaranteeing that all residents and staff and every nursing home can get tested at state expense. What are you doing in Illinois? What are you doing specifically on the issue of Illinois Nursing Homes Publishing information about the caseload that they're dealing with well let me start by saying that we've been on top of our nursing homes from very early on in fact before are stay at home order was in place. I was on the phone with Governor Inslee in Washington. I was on the phone with Governor Cuomo in New York both of which had terrible times with their nursing homes to learn what went wrong. And what should we be doing to get it right and so from early on we created a strike team each nursing home. Where something is flared up. We've thrown that strike team on top of. It made sure that they have the proper that they know how to use the PPI that they separate out the cova positive patients from those who are negative. And make sure generally that we've clamped down on croissant with a quarantine. Now we also closed down to visitors Very early on and we've been taking temperatures and generally checking the medical conditions of all of the staff at those nursing homes again from the middle of March. So those are the things that we did back then. Now what we're making sure we do. Because I'm a big believer in transparency. I don't need an executive order to put the information up. In fact over the weekend we're GONNA put every single nursing home and every single case whether it's staff or a nursing home resident online everybody'll be able to take a look at it but we've already known that data and we've been looking at it internally to make sure that we take care of those staff in those patients you're gonna put that as of this week and you're going to start making that data public that's correct every nursing home in the state of Illinois and again we we know who they are. We know who the private owners are. And we've made sure that we have all the right information because we've been actually collecting that for some time and looking at it ourselves but now we want to make sure that the public concede to. I'm glad to hear it. Sir Governor Jay Pritzker of the Great State of Illinois Sir. You've got a lot on your plate with this. Stay in touch with us. Let us know when if things go on. I don't know annoyed that the country needs to know if you WanNa talk about it here. We'll have you back anytime sir. Thank you thanks Rachel all right much more ahead here with us. Hey Dr Samson Davis Emergency Medicine physician volume. I thought it was going down. But realize we were on divert which means that. We were filled to capacity in a hospital and not accepting any patients at this time. But off divert today and divide his spiked again. We had about twenty patients today. All very very very very sick. Multiple Code Blues Call Lost. One patient here in emerged departments. Today that passed away and most of the people. I'm seeing now again. We're seeing an older population of people some nursing home patients now as well so if you have family members or friends in the nursing home you want to check on them as well to make sure that they're ok the message to the young people to make sure that you keep the physical social distance and going is very important because you can be carriers of this virus that you do not want to spread it. There's just so imperative at this time right now that we stayed a course gather in order to convince prevent re expansion of this virus again. People are dying. This is real. This is happening. We will get there. We'll get past this moment. You just have to stay. The course I do have an update. Which is that today was meaningfully different than shifts in the last couple of weeks. I did not pronounce a single patient dead today as opposed to the last few weeks where it's been multiple people per shift. I still had many patients today. Come in very ill and while not through death store definitely knocking on it and so we're still having those conversations with patients and with families about end of life wishes round the clock So while no one died today this is still very much a threat and still very much with us in part of our society But positive news one emergency medicine physician in New Jersey saying he thought the volume was going down but then he realized they were on divert status. Their patients were going other hospitals. Once they took themselves off divert status volume came right back up and the New York physician saying that while things are still bad. There are some good science. New York continues to lap all other states in terms of the toll of this virus. But there have been signs of improvement. New Infections new hospitalizations. Icu bed usage. All Day on that's good But still this death polls coming out of New York State. Every day are huge more than six hundred deaths in the last twenty four hours alone and that has been true every day this week last week we heard from an emergency room physician one of the hardest hit hospitals in New York Ernest. Patty at Saint Barnabas Hospital in the Bronx here. He was a week ago tonight. All the battle continues end of another still have a large number of people in debated down here uh believe thirteen incubated and about five or six C-PAP as you heard him there. Dr Patty sort of fighting to be heard over the background noise In the ICU. The are not your garden variety. Hospital background noise. That's the sound of multiple patients being mechanically kept alive. That's the sound of more than a dozen ventilators being used. Well today we heard from Dr Patty again With an update on the situation for him at Saint Barnabas today. It's Friday April seventeen but first thing you notice. Is the noise level. Much less than last Friday significantly decreased have to say the hospital. Still still running at Max capacity. The emergency department is definitely a little less congested. Let's hope it stays this report at the end of the chef de stay safe stay healthy? Stay strong doctor. Potty recorded that today just before he started his shifts as you heard there he promised to update us when his shift was over his shift has just ended and he's going to join us live next joining us now because he said. Yes to coming back and I've been happy about it all day is Dr Ernest Patty. He's the senior emergency medicine position at Saint Barnabas Hospital in the Bronx Dr Patty. I really appreciate you coming back a week. After we last spoke. Thank you so much my pleasure Rachel. Thank you for having me back on appreciate it. We've been watching. Some of the metrics can turn in the right direction in New York writ large. But you said today at the start of your shift that that same Barnabus is still full Still a capacity. Are Things different this week compared to last week? Well I definitely felt that way during the week. Rachel when I came in for my shifts in the middle of the week we happen to be on divert status as well for a bit and we seem to be decompressing. The emergency department. You spoke to one of my colleagues yesterday Dr Chris. Grant them Or your MSNBC did forgive me an he had mentioned that the ICU Still running at Max capacity. It is but I've noticed today that the volume coming in has slightly decreased. I didn't pronounce anybody Today which was wonderful and I didn't have to put. We'd have to put very many people on ventilators today. It was actually a day where we felt. Maybe we wore plateauing out a bit and We're very optimistic. We still have forgetting sick patients in because I still had a number of sick folks but not to the extent that I reported to you last Friday. I'm so glad to hear you say although I recognize the situation is still incredibly taxing Is ANYTHING IMPROVING IN TERMS OF PATIENT PROSPECTS? I mean by the time they get to you in the Er people are in trouble. They don't end up there by accident but with this incredible volume of patients that you and your colleagues have seen. How do you feel like you've learned anything in terms of how to maximize patient outcomes how to how to optimize What's going to happen in terms outcomes for these patients time? Will we have learned a number of things we've learned You know there was a lot of information being sent back and forth from institution to institution Trying to you know give colleagues hence or helpful. Ways to approach patients a lot of it revolved around p. p. n. creative ways to use it and you know and reuse it others though dealt with the way in which we actually treated these folks As far as what how much oxygen to put them on a what goals to set our oxygenation levels at and a lot of those things have been helpful. we've learned about Giving intravenous fluids how much to give how little to give and how to approach this whole process when the folks come in so it's definitely been a steep learning curve for us. We've we've learned a tremendous amount. What we do know is though that the folks who come in that have lots of Co morbidity meaning other illnesses like copd asthma diabetes cardiopulmonary issues. Were will be city. Those folks Tend to be more challenging Because they present other problems In addition to having the cove in nineteen infections so a yes we. We've we're learning a lot every day. I'm learning something. I'm a lifelong student. Rachel your position on the learning curve is going to be a position of incredible power is going to be an incredible asset to medicine. I feel like you and your colleagues seeing the number of patients that you've seen seen the volume that you've seen when other places in the country just talking with the governor of Illinois moment ago when other when other cities have patient apex is I feel like you and your colleagues are going to have so much to offer in terms of best practices. Does that system of medicine in emergency medicine work in such a way that you'll be able to share this with your colleagues around the country definitely we. We are all of us. I know Many of my colleagues that I work with remember I told you it's a team sport emergency medicine and the team doesn't doesn't just necessarily live within the four walls of your hospital. The teams lie in greater good for the United States. I mean we all are in communication with a are different medical societies and groups And Circle of friends and we definitely share the information. It's been a really really amazing experience. You know I do have to tell you though we did get a bit bad news and I was talking to some of my Senior members of the hospital as well. We actually did a loose so far. Four staff members at our hospital in addition to Dr Area who we mentioned last week So it's been It's been a battle for us. Where we've we've done a lot of a leaning on a lot of each each other we leaning on each other because many of us knew all of these Staff members quite well like I said. We're a big family. At Saint Barnabas source I affectionately. Refer to it as the born You know so it's It's been a challenge talk to Ernest. Patty senior emergency medicine physician at Saint Barnabus in the Bronx. I am sorry for your loss and thankful for your sacrifice. Thank you for your time tonight. Sir. It's it's my pleasure. Thanks for having me and everyone should please remember to practice social distancing check in on all your relatives and loved ones and and really really practice good hygiene. It's super important and One day I'll tell you funny story about growing up with my kids. I noticed hygiene was decreasing years ago years ago in general population and now. I guess we're paying have you? I will have you back to tell that story. Thank you Dr Patty. I appreciate it all right. We'll be right back. Stay with us. That's going to do it for US tonight. The wait till Maddow's show weeknights at nine stern on MSNBC.

New York City federal government The Times Illinois New York State US Governor Andrew Cuomo New York Dr Ernest Patty New Jersey Icu Bronx Corona Sir Governor Jay Pritzker Rachel Oklahoma executive Iowa MSNBC Italy
Trump admin ignoring dire COVID-19 situation in US nursing homes

MSNBC Rachel Maddow (audio)

47:51 min | 10 months ago

Trump admin ignoring dire COVID-19 situation in US nursing homes

"From effects on Hulu Comes Mrs America. The highly anticipated drama explores the dawn of the Nineteen Seventies. Women's rights movement tune in as we explore the story of the equal rights amendments ratification and the unexpected backlash led by Schlafly. That forever shifted. The political landscape starring an award-winning cast including Cate Blanchett. Sarah Paulson Ouzo Deuba. And Elizabeth Banks. Mrs America Premieres April Fifteenth Exclusively on fx on Hulu visit who dot Com for more. The meadow show weeknights at nine on. Msnbc Happy Friday indeed. I would like you to meet Dan Rienzie. I think you're going to like him. I am quite sure you're going to want to know more about him. Dan Frenzy is a nurse he lives in Kansas except for right now. He lives in New York City because he came to New York City from Kansas. To help. I it's me back home after another night of wild exciting Corona Virus Fun on the night shift in New York. When I was in nursing school I was talking to some friends and we were going around the group discussing why we all signed up and honestly when I never nursing school I had these visions of myself working for cosmetic dermatologist or something. I'd I'd go to work and the real housewives would come in. They'd get a little facial filler and a lot of gossip and we'd have fun if you told me that just not too many years. After I graduated that I would be living in a hotel in New York while I was putting bodies in body bags because this mysterious virus was mowing down. Everybody's grandparents. I. How do you process that in and I didn't have to calm but at the same time I kind of did Emily? If I don't come who will you know but it does not make it any easier. Call families we gotTA Call Family Today. Goes families aren't allowed in the room not allowed in the building and of course you know people know that it's coming that phone call but it doesn't make it any easier. Stay home everybody please. You know what my jobs here at this hospital is. I'm the guy who ties the toe tags on people and gets them ready to be sent to the morgue and they have me do this because I'm biggest one on the floor can lift them easily in bed. So I've been I've been looking at a lot of cases and I keep seeing my parents and if you could please I'm fifteen hundred miles away from home if you if I can't do anything about it here some seem to ask you guys a favor. If any of you ever see my parents out and about just tell. Tell him to go home you know. Do not need to go into the store. My father retired ten years ago and has watch TV everyday since then and now. The government's told him that he needs to stay home. Suddenly the man has hobbies leave and go around town news shouting at the TV. This is but we're busting our asses here doing CPR unintimidated patients in my father's driving around town. So please if you see him out. Just tell them to go home. They do not need to be out. They can wait this out so be over. This'll be over on the last word here after my show Lawrence O'Donnell has been featuring for a few nights now the seven. Pm Clap the citywide cheers. That New Yorkers are giving for healthcare workers every night and sometimes those displays of gratitude come with a huge loud exclamation point. When New York firefighters join in outside the hospitals and they not only clap. They put the sirens on from the fire. Trucks to really make it impossible to miss even for the health workers inside the hospitals but most nights it is just nine for night. New Yorkers cheering and clapping in part of the reason. I wanted you to see these dispatches from Dan Rienzie who you may remember you may recognize him from Mtv's the real world back in the ninety S. You might remember him from a part of the reason. I wanted you to see these dispatches from him in his new life as a nurse who has come from Kansas to work in New York City is because I I feel like we all should really see from the perspective of a health worker in his case from the perspective of a nurse who wanted his nursing career to be glamorous real housewives light drama but instead came to New York to work the night shift and hospitals and Brooklyn and the Bronx to help. I feel like we should all see. Not What just not? Just what the the cheering episodes for the health? Workers look like to all of us. I feel like we should see what those feel. Like to somebody. Who those cheers or four one of the hardest hit hospitals in one of the hardest hit places on earth. Right now has been Saint Barnabas Hospital in the Bronx where I would like you to meet someone else. This is Ernie. Patty is an emergency room. Physician at St Barnabus. All the battle continues end of another ship. We still have a large number of people. In debated down here believe thirteen incubated and about five or six on E. PAT. A lot of people are still requiring high concentrations of oxygen. It doesn't seem like it's slowing down although we've had a little I don't want to use the keyword but a little low right now which is good because we're able to catch up and get some patients upstairs to the ICU. Let's hope we reached that plateau at some point. So what we curve when he says We've got five or six patients on c-pap what that means. Is that same Barnabus in the Bronx is one of the places that has basically macgyver. A response to the huge number of patients who simultaneously need mechanical assistance to breathe as corona virus attacks. The lungs what Dr Pattie is describing there is that most of the patients. They've got are on traditional ventilators but they've also started repurposing CPAP machines machines for people a sleep apnea basically into a make do clinical solution for critically ill corona virus patients. So we're going to be speaking with Dr Patty and in just a moment about that. Hope that you just saw him talking about their About what he and his colleagues are are going through this many weeks into it at a capacity filled hospital but part of the reason. I wanted you to get a chance to meet him. Tonight is is because of this next tape that I'm next piece of tape that I'm going to show you that we got from Dr Patrick St Barnabus because with more than eighteen thousand Americans now dead from this with two thousand and fifty six Americans dying just in the past day which means just in the past day one American died from Corona virus every forty two seconds without many Americans dead. It is one thing to clap for health care workers nurses and doctors and we should just one thing to hear them explain the kind of work they're doing and how hard they're working and what exactly it is that they're doing but it's only if we put a camera into one of their hands that we can actually see from their perspective. What it's really like when they're doing this work and we should see particularly from these hospitals that have been pushed to capacity because what they've got is what every other hospital in the country should see as all the cities and states. That aren't this far up the curve yet. Start to approach those kinds of apex so. I'm GonNa do something that breaks new breaks the Cable News. Production rules a little bit but I just want you to watch this. It's not Super Long. It's about forty seconds. Long the reason this breaks the cable news production rules is because this piece of tape. I'm going to show you is something where there is no dialogue and there is nobody narrating it. I'm not going to narrate it. I'm GonNa shut up But this is worth seeing the same barnabus in the Bronx what it is like to be in this clinical environment with multiple patients. Being mechanically kept alive. This is what it was like for the nearly two thousand Americans for the two thousand Americans who who fought this thing in the hospital until they died today. This is what it is like now tonight for tens of thousands of Americans who are fighting for their lives in hospitals right now as we speak this is rare to see unless you give the doctor the camera and let them show you from their own perspective but this is just a glimpse from one hospital of the working environment for the healthcare workers who are trying to save. Americans who are trying to cling to life with corona virus. Like I said this is only forty seconds. I will shut up. Just Watch turn your sound don but just watch If you know somebody who says screw these? Stay at home orders. Somebody says it's all just a big over-reaction sit them down. Turn the sound on. Show them that. The emergency room doctor. Who Shot that. We're going to be speaking with him in just a minute super grateful that he shot that video for us. We're grateful for him and all his colleagues doctors on the Planet Bar Dr Ward. Thank you thank Dr via the same Barnabus. Barnabus lost one of its doctors. In the past couple of days of trauma surgeon named Dr Renauld Barrier Dr Barrier was born and raised in Haiti. He was the father of three children. He worked as a trauma. Surgeon at Saint Barnabus Fighting Corona Virus. Like all doctors and healthcare workers at. Saint Barnabus are doing now trying to keep corona virus patients alive. He himself became infected with Corona. Virus died today at the age of fifty nine frontline health workers know that their lives are at stake while they are doing this work and yet remarkably this far into it with all the support that we as a country are trying to give them. It's not enough. We are still seeing hospital. Staff have to literally protest to try to get themselves protective equipment to try to get enough staff relief staff on board to share the burden in hospitals that have crippling numbers of cases. This for example was today. This was Wycoff hospital in Brooklyn today. We need more nurses at the hospital. The nurses are working short. The nurses are working. The nurses are working hard. I want my notes to know that we love them maybe expect them the respiratory therapist the physical therapist. Dr. They're all working hard for the patients in this community at this time at the end of the day the nurses have tears in their eyes in a taste of death in their mouth. These nurses need relief. They need help. We're asking the governor the president. Whoever can help us to send some staff as soon as possible. We're doing the best we can but what we have and we want everybody to know we will continue to do the best we can but what we have but we need help and we need release as soon as possible also have stopped the lights up. Britain's cleaning supplies from our home clean our computers to clean our chance to cream. The stretches to clean the vital sign machines at the patients using And this is a big problem. We're a hospital that we're trying to control infection control. How is it that we're bringing you our own clean supplies to supply prayer for the hospital and that was one of my big concerns nurses at one Brooklyn Hospital today? Save the saying. They're bringing in their own cleaning supplies from home to try to do infection control as they are seeing corona virus patients. I will also tell you if you look at. Can we drop the lower third their second drop that Breaking News Banner? I don't know if we can with remote control room yes. Can you see what that nurses wearing? Do you see the dates written on her gown. We believe that is in terms of that gown being reused because of the extent to which they have to reuse all of their gear including their gowns so they are labeled with sharpy to let you know what days they've been used I and this is this is not. This is not only happening in New York. We're starting to see signs of real crisis. For example in Michigan Hospitals Nurses and Michigan hospitals have staged sit ins and protests in the last few days to try to try to draw attention. Not just to the need for a protective equipment to how understaffed they are for the volume of seriously ill and dying patients that they are seeing all at once in a flood in the headlines. Right now in the Michigan papers are stark running out of bodybags people dying in the hallway. Corona Virus Has Michigan Hospital workers at a breaking point. This one from the Detroit News Inside Sinai Grace Warzone. We started to run out of bodybags Detroit. Today opened the first beds at its convention center to try to take take some of the strain off of their overrun hospitals. The first twenty five beds opened at the Convention Center in Detroit. Today they hope to have two hundred fifty beds operational by the end of the week. I will you while this is happening. The Michigan Republican Party is nevertheless attacking that state's governor for being too tough on this corona virus thing demanding all this stay at home nonsense should be lifted. There's just no reason for it. Call the governor. There's literally addressing the public telling the public to call the Governor of Michigan and complain about the State's stay at home order to try to slow the spread of the virus Michigan's fine. Why do we need this stupid? Stay at home order. Complain about the governor. That's the Michigan Republican Party. How they are approaching this. I mean Yeah Michigan's fine the running. Outta bodybags because what? It's spring because they haven't been conserving them. They've been wasteful with their body bags but honestly things are bad in a lot of places. The Indiana Governor today announced that they are over three hundred deaths over six thousand cases but they don't know how many more cases they're going to be able to track because they don't know how many more tests they're going to be able to do because they are out of. Swabs are enough swabs to do more testing. They've run out of them and so they're now experimenting with how they might be able to. Maybe macgyver some more of those today from on board the USS John C Stennis the military posted this video of sailors cutting and sewing and rigging homemade masks for use on board that aircraft carrier. I think the military might have thought of this as a kind of heartwarming. Everybody's pitching in kind of thing but it also shows that even the United States Navy does not have adequate supplies to provide masks for active duty. Sailors currently deployed on aircraft carriers. And so they really are making them themselves in craft shops on board ship. The Navy says they're making thirty day right now on board the status the hope to be up to fifty a day by next week. I should tell you. Full tilt the status can have over six thousand sailors on it at a time. If you're looking for a snapshot of how. The epidemic is shaping where you live or if I know you where your parents live where your grandparents and you're worried about them. We're going to post a link tonight at motto blog to this map which is not being put up any government agency but I think it. I think this is a particularly helpful map. It's made by a company called a Focus T. O. P. O. S. company that does mapping and artificial intelligence stuff founded by a couple of data. Geek professors who teach at U. Penn and Cooper Union in general. What we're finding is that in the absence of a good national clearinghouse of statistics on the epidemic people who are good at wrangling data and scraping statistics from all the different sources. We can get them now are trying to make the data easy to visualize easy to access and therefore easy to use for decision making so for example. This is the Topa map that shows the number of cases on a county by county map in the country Places with a high number of cases in dark red they also map a moderate number of cases. They mopped that map. Those in a lighter color of red. Here's a map that from from from the Topaz database. That looks very different ill so this highlights different parts of the country. This shows the rate of increase of new cases in individual counties in the country. So you see those dark red blocks all over the country. Those are counties that have a higher rate of increase of new cases of the virus places. Where the epidemic is really taking off. You see it's everywhere and you can zoom in say to a place like Alabama Which looks pretty red hot on this map. And then once you're in Alabama you can look county by county to see what the rate of increase is in new cases county by county to see where the epidemic is growing fast. It can do this where you live. You can do this where your parents or grandparents live again. This is the Topa. Snap T. O. P. O. S. If you want to go directly to check this out online. It's covert Nineteen Dot Topa. Tops DOT COM and again. Everybody's trying to do their own. Data visualization visualization tools because the US government putting up basically nothing useful. But this at least as of today is the handiest thing I've seen so far to figure out. Basically what parts of the country ought to be freaking out a little bit more than they are the other one of the other tools. I have failed to try to do that. As the government puts out no useful information is to look at news coverage literally just the free press coverage of what's going on in nursing homes tonight. Nbc News has this fairly terrifying report in which they've gone state to state to try to figure out what the death toll from Corona virus has been in America nursing homes so far obviously from what we know about the virus. It is particularly dangerous for people who are older underlying health conditions and the way that we prevent people from getting it is by keeping them distant from one another nursing. Homes are a perfect storm in terms of the virus being able to spread and the virus zeroing in on the people least able to fight it off. Nbc News Tonight. Finds More than twenty four hundred nursing homes in thirty six states that are contending with known corona virus cases inside their facilities and BBC News. Tonight is documenting. More than twenty. Two hundred Americans dead in nursing homes already the most honest thing about this new reporting from NBC News. Is that as this national epidemic rips through nursing homes all over the country in cities and rural areas and suburbs in red states and blue states everywhere with the most vulnerable populations in those facilities. Both for getting it and for being unable to survive it as corona virus just rips through American nursing homes it's FREAKING NBC News. That is doing the tracking of those cases and those deaths nationwide it's NBC News doing it as a journalistic project which is great. But the reason they're having to do that is because there's no federal effort whatsoever to even track that data let alone to do anything about it. The federal government is not only not responding to the particular vulnerabilities of nursing homes where thousands of Americans have already died and thousands more. Have a bullseye on them. The federal government is not even looking. They're not even counting it. There isn't federal data on it and they're not trying for it. I mean this will be the deadliest swath of this virus through our elders in nursing homes and long term care facilities and so far the federal government literally is is is pretending. It's not happening. Let alone doing anything about it. It is not supposed to be that way and it does not have to be that way and that story is next. We just want to be treated fairly shooting happening. I don't care what he says. He's not getting my hi. Everyone is terminally MSNBC correspondent and host of a new podcast into America featuring the journalist of NBC. News it's a show about politics about policy about the power that both had shaping the lives of the American people. The roller coaster is not an easier to stomach now than it was two years ago. Each week we're going into America to tell voters stories Ken for the country. Because we're in constantly doesn't mean that we should might vote. You can find new episodes of into America and your feet every Thursday to subscribe search into America. Wherever you're listening right now. Hey Chris as this week on my podcast wise is happening. I'LL BE TALKING WITH JOHN. Berry author of the book the Great Influenza about the last global pandemic we analyzed what cities dead in nineteen eighteen and found that those cities which into remained early at a much better at the very least in terms of flattening the curb if the intervened too late virus is already widely disseminated in your community and no interention is going to have any effect if the enemy is already inside. The home doesn't do you any good to lock the door. That's this week on. Why is this happening search for? Why is this happening? Wherever you're listening right now and subscribe page one today in the Great State of Louisiana veterans home hit hard twenty-five have died facility in reserve Louisiana many not tested for virus. Here's Indiana today. Twenty four dead after Corona virus outbreak at Long Term Care Facility. Here's Virginia One. Long Term Care Facility in Virginia reaching a grim milestone today with forty deaths at that one facility. Here's Alabama also today testing reveals thirty six cases at one nursing home in Alabama that also yields this gut wrenching headline. She did not deserve this nurse. At Alabama nursing home dies from Kovic nineteen. Here's New Jersey. Three nursing homes in the town of Elizabeth New Jersey alone have lost forty five residents to the Kovic nineteen outbreak. Here's North Carolina second veteran dies amid Kovic nineteen outbreak at Rowan. County veterans home. Here's another nineteen cases. A nursing home in the great state of Oregon is a different headline from Louisiana Today Corona virus outbreak. It Loo- excuse me here's an excuse me. Kentucky here's A. Kentucky Headline Today Corona Virus Outbreak Out Louisville Nursing Home infects twenty nine people killing five. Ch Choose your state. Choose Your newspaper. Choose your local TV station. You will find at least one story like this wherever you look. It is ubiquitous local news everywhere in the country. But that's how it's being treated local stories. That just happened to be happening. Everywhere at the same time. Corona virus hitting nursing homes veterans homes long term care facilities and hitting them hard in Los Angeles this week the La County. Public Health director went so far as to say it would be perfectly appropriate for families to take their elderly loved ones out of nursing homes. Just bring them home if you can because the homes are just that dangerous right now. Currently there is no national response Even trying to address this part of the crisis there is no coordinated national effort. This is a problem that is everywhere and this is the most vulnerable patients in the country as NBC news reports tonight. The federal government isn't even tracking cases in nursing homes. Let alone doing anything about this part of the problem. Every state is on their own and yes states are some of them trying at the state level to do something in Maryland and Virginia. The governor's in those two states have made a pact to work together even though one's a Democrat and wants a Republican in those two states they've now started multi-agency task forces specifically for nursing homes task forces. That can intervene. That can come in to help. That can help with things. Like testing help with things like supplies help with things like infection control help with things like treatment and that's encouraging that seems like a good model it's Larry Hogan and Maryland ordered at first. It's now northern Virginia who has ordered as well those two states willing to work together. Those two states both trying that and maybe other governors would follow suit. That would be good. But that's two states out of fifty and it comes in the absence of any federal response. Ultimately there has to be something bigger here more than two thousand Americans already dead in these kinds of facilities and it is poised to kill thousands more Americans in these facilities and we can't just let that happen right. We're at a critical point right now when it comes to this part of American Life. We're past the point of prevention of keeping it out of these facilities in thousands of these facilities. It's already there and once it's in there it is so dangerous to these populations. Now is the time when there needs to be help. There does need to be intervention. We cannot sit back and let it happen. We will lose too. Many thousands of Americans there has to be an effort to stop it and I know. Apparently the federal government isn't interested in doing this but they have to honestly they have to. During the Obama Administration. Andy Slavic served as the head of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid services when he was overseeing healthcare coverage for one hundred million Americans it also meant he was overseeing the type of healthcare coverage that most people use to pay for their stays in nursing homes and long term care facilities. President Obama Pick Mr Slavic for the job after seven helped repair the broken rollout of the obamacare website and he slavic knows what it means to approach the overwhelming the seemingly impossible and to try to fix it anyway and so we called him tonight because he is the person. I decided. I would most like to talk to at least talk to first about what I find to be a middle of the night. Sit Up and worry about it. Issue joining us now. Andy Slob at former head of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. The host of the new podcast in the bubble Mr Slava. Thanks for making time to be here tonight. Thanks for thanks for your expertise. Thank you Rachel. Thank you focus on this really incredible important story. Well let me ask you. If there's anything that I have said about it you'd probably tell I feel emotional about it like I'm head up about it and it really has literally been keeping me up in the way that I have been talking about it just as a layman observing these things and my saying anything that strikes. You is wrong or that feels like the wrong approach to this problem. The only thing strange's a year almost the only one saying it there. Let's step back. There's a million a half Americans living in nursing homes today. There's about fifteen thousand nursing homes in the country. Many of them are quite small and think about who? These folks are people over eighty. Today were born at or around the Great Depression. Many of them served in the Korean War. They've lived through so much in this country. And the promise that Medicare and Medicaid in our country owes to these people is a dignified life a healthy life and a peaceful existence through their last days. Sadly this is not what's happening. The time to have dealt with this of course is a few years ago. Not In the middle of a crisis in two thousand sixteen. In fact President Obama created regulations that we put through that. We're wholesale of the men at to address com complete nursing home infection control them safety overuse of anti psychotics all these things but sadly in twenty seventeen. The trump administration got rid of those regulations. Said that they were not going to enforce them. That's turned out to be. I think a the root of a lot of the challenge here in terms of trying to get our hands around this And not giving up on this and not deciding. This is too hard to do. I mean it really does feel like an impossible problem because it feels like as you said. A lot of these facilities are small. They're everywhere. There's nothing uniform. In terms of the way care is provided or the way they are overseen. It feels like an overwhelming problem in terms of how you would try all of these individual facilities even when you think about it to the level of one facility when we first learned about that Facility in Kirkland Washington that had a whole bunch of people positive and then we learned that ultimately a whole bunch of people would die there. It wasn't for a lack of trying or lack of caring to keep those people alive that things went so badly. Do you feel at all that. There is a constructive way to approach that there is something for example that something as powerful as the federal government could do that would meaningfully. Make a difference is not impossible with people's lives on the line. You cannot go in with the attitude that this is impossible. I if I were there. There's three things I would do immediately. First thing I would do is I would test and get resources to every nursing home in the country because we know right now the the the nurses and staff many of them are affected in fact it. We don't know which ones many of them don't WanNA show up. So over. The next seven days I would commit to testing every single one of them and getting geared at every single one of them. The federal government absolutely has the power to do that. The second thing I would do is I would help them. We're in the middle of a crisis. I would get them. Resources go to Congress resources to retrofit. Some of their facilities hospitals are not taking nursing home patients right now many times because they prefer to have them die in the Nursing Home. I would get so I would get money for infection control. I would get resources for telemedicine for doctors to come in and talk to patients. I would get the CDC guidelines so I could bring in hospice nurses because there are going to be folks who do not make it through this. And I don't want people in this state to be dying alone and the third thing. I do something you've talked about really repeatedly and it's the most critical thing and I didn't get extensive administration's not doing right transparency. I would have a Monday morning. Tuesday morning Wednesday morning Thursday morning at Friday morning. Phone call with the nursing home operators this country. We should ask a dashboard around the country of infection control record of where they were infections of how many people were infected of deaths and the way this will get fixed and this is not to embarrass anybody. But the way this'll get fixed. Is there a nursing? Homes are doing it right and that are doing the right. Can give guidance to the nursing. Homes are doing it wrong. We don't have enough time to go back to the drawing board and create new regulations. I wish we did but in the middle of a crisis you get them up. I'd get them all on the phone. We'll be sharing best practices. We'll be publishing them and we would be solely solely taking down infection rates and for those. That couldn't do it. We will be moving people into facilities could Andy Slavic. Former head of Medicare and Medicaid Services under President Obama as I mentioned host of the new podcast in the bubble That three-part strategy is incredibly practical and both ambitious and overdue and necessary. I hope a lot of people are listening to you to that tonight to give us hope about this crisis but also hope people who could do something like this Are Listening to you too. If they won't do it at the federal government every state should start doing this themselves and thank you so much Rachel all right much more to get to tonight. Stay with us. They coke and everything that can be broken except the bar. Because you can't break the barred windows microwave. Drastic officers stationed where they do their work. Computers are broken. The cameras have been taken down. If you're just slack mayhem. That is a prisoner at the lengths Lansing Correctional Facility in Kansas just Kansas City Kansas Describing in real time an uprising disturbing a disturbance at that prison yesterday. The incident apparently started mid afternoon around three. Pm lasted for more than eight. Hours aerial footage of the prison showed Stuff being thrown out of the windows and cellblock C. officials say there was widespread damage throughout the whole facility. Gun situation lasted until about eleven PM. Last night and then tactical teams went in that cell block. They used tear gas to prisoners ultimately treated for minor injuries so far at least officials in Kansas. Say they have not been able to confirm what caused that disturbance at the prison But that young man that prisoner you just heard from talking to the local news station K. 'S HP. He called into say what prisoners were angry about was the handling of corona virus cases at that prison so far twelve prisoners and Sixteen Staff Members Lansing Correctional Facility have tested positive for corona virus and prisoners are reportedly upset about how it's being handled in the fact that they don't feel like they can protect themselves from getting infected. It's also worth noting that the cell block where that uprising took place is just a few hundred yards from the infirmary Where people who are sick with the virus are being held and treated Kansas Governor Lord. Kelly said today that the investigation into what caused that disturbance is ongoing. She said she probably promised transparency into the state's handling the matter. But this of course comes at a time when Governor Kelley already has her hands full including in some ways she probably shouldn't have to deal with Governor Kelley in Kansas is Democrat. She's issued a stay at home order for the state ordered a ban on large gatherings. But then this week a group of Republican legislators overturned her order against large gatherings because apparently they want residents of Kansas having large gatherings right now yesterday in Response Governor Kelley actually filed a lawsuit calling on the State Supreme Court to push back that effort by Republican lawmakers and settle this issue quickly very quickly especially given this weekend's Easter holiday the prospect of crowded Easter Services on Sunday morning. This is not a normal disagreement about policy or politics the actions of the Republican legislative leader to jeopardize both the health and safety of Kansas. We do not have time to play political games during a pandemic. I'm confident that the Supreme Court will take up this matter in adjudicated quickly. I will not stand by with a lives are in jeopardy and I will not allow the rule of law or the constitution to be trampled on during an emergency I took an oath to uphold the Constitution and laws of the state. It isn't promise I made to each of you. We will get through this together. We will continue to flat in the curve and we will beat this terrible disease. Please remember stay home. Stay Save Save lives today. We learned that the Kansas State Supreme Court will in fact. Take this up quickly. They're going to hold an emergency session tomorrow morning on the matter again. This is the Democratic governor. Putting in place abandons large gatherings and Republican lawmakers saying they have overturned it and it's no longer in effect The hearing State Supreme Court is scheduled for nine. Am Tomorrow Morning Saturday morning. Which is an unusual timeframe but urgency? Is there for a reason? The court is making arrangements to allow the public to view those arguments. Maybe through a live stream on their website case. It's tomorrow morning nine. Am I will tell you. I have already cleared my calendar but that wasn't hard. Watch this space. All the battle continues the end of another ship. Still have a large number of people in debated down here believe there's thirteen incubated at about five six feet. Pat A lot of people are still requiring high concentrations of oxygen doesn't seem like it's slowing down Dr Ernest. Patty is senior emergency amid senior emergency medicine physician at Saint Barnabas Hospital in the Bronx. Which means he's the senior emergency medicine physician at one of the hardest hit hospitals and one of the hardest hit boroughs in the hardest hit city in America which happens to be the worst epidemic on Earth. Here's a third year resident at that. Same Hospital at Saint Barnabus in the past. Two weeks are probably seen as much depth as I soon. Pass for years It's back I feel like at this point everybody His it's terminal. I don't it almost feels. The worst case. Scenario is not having event because then you're playing God you're deciding who lives. Who Dies and I don't know how anybody could do that. Loop anybody can do that in sleep at night. I don't know how anybody can do any of this and sleep at night. Even by New York City Standards The community that Barnabus serves the Bronx is just getting hammered. A study published today by. Nyu found that a across New York City quote to date. The Bronx has seen the highest rate of deaths per capita from the virus. Which is really something for the good Americans who live in the Bronx but it is it must be utterly transformative for say the senior emergency medicine physician. Who's in charge of keeping people alive when they turn up in extremis at Saint Barnabas Hospital joining us now is Dr Ernest Patty. Who's the senior emergency medicine? Physician at Saint Barnabus to Patty. I know you've just gotten off work. I really appreciate you taking time to talk with us. Thank you thank you for having me Rachel appreciate it thank you. I WANNA start by expressing my condolences. I know you and the team at Saint Barnabus lost a colleague From Krona virus Dr Ronald Vary Trauma surgeon father of three. I've been reading about him tonight. I imagine that that must make going to work even harder now. It makes it very hard to go to work. It really does when it hits home like that. I mean when we lose any patient it really bothers us. But when you lose somebody that you've worked with side-by-side Dr Areas even cared for my my own family members. My uncle my daughter I mean it's and he's a dear friend it. It has very close call. Thank you talk to Patti. You sent us Footage today that was very affecting not because you showed us anything that was particularly gory or particularly narrative. You just gave us a point of view video showing what it's like in the clinical context to be among lots of patients who are who need mechanical assistance to breathe. What it's like to be a health worker in that environment? The sounds of that. The machines the beeping the struggling of the patients. It's something that we who aren't healthcare providers almost never see. I wanted to ask you though. I know that. Say Barnabus is not exactly a sleepy hospital under normal circumstances. I don't you see something like twelve hundred trauma patients a year. How does what you're doing now compared to what you normally see? How abnormal is your your day in the life right now compared to a busy day in a in the time before corona virus. I have to say probably two of the things that struck me the most right from the beginning. Rachel were having to When you walked into the department the level of noise and the level of assault on your senses was just increased. It seemed like a hundred fold the the number of of machines that were beeping and alarming and making noise and trying to catch. Our attention was much greater than I've ever experienced in the past and those would be the ventilator set because we had so many of them in the emergency department we were basically running our own. Icu down there. And we still are tonight when I left. We were still running and I see you. The other thing is having to wear p. p. e. or personal protective equipment like this for the entire day nonstop because I can tell you today. I was actually performing and intimation on a very very sick person who was a covert positive and what struck me as I was going into the procedure was I. I thought to myself. I always say a little quick prayer and I said I thought to myself I hope this. Ppc protects me as well. Because this guy I know is suffering so badly and is definitely infected and I don't WanNa get sick because I need to come back here and work again and help more people so those two feelings running through your head and the other thing that bothers me as well as not being able to have family by the bedside when we work as hard as we are many times. During normal resuscitation families are present and they can see the level of commitment and dedication that we put into each one of our resuscitation here. The patients are alone. They don't know US. They can't really even see are faces because we're all covered with these masks and face shields and gowns and P P it really. It makes it very hard for for both the physician and a caregiver as well as the patient sits. It's unbelievable Dr Patty. I can't tell you how much we appreciate what you do. I'm hoping I'm putting another ask on top of everything else that you're doing but I'm hoping that in coming days you'll come back to us We played tape from you earlier in the hour. You're talking about the hope that you're you're you're hoping that That the numbers are GONNA start to go down. That things are going to start evening out in terms of the patient load We would love to talk to in coming days as this proceeds in your hospital and as you and your colleagues fight this fight for us. I I really appreciate that I welcome chatting with you because let me tell you sometimes being able to express what goes through ahead. I mean I can tell you when I drive home from work every night. I'm constantly talking to myself to whoever the Creator is looking for answers and it's tough to get them sometimes and But I just want to remind you and all the viewers out there that this is a team effort. I work emergency medicine. It's a team sport. It's not just one individual. I could not do what I do without the contributions of everyone that works in this hospital everybody contributes So much help us get our job done and I have to applaud all of its sin. Amazing team that work and we all do Dr Ernest. Patty senior emergency medicine physician at Saint Barnabas Hospital in the Bronx. I'M GONNA call you next week so I hope you'll be able to come back. Thank you thank you Rachel Stay Healthy. Thank you you too. We'll be right back. Behold the edgewood Congregational Church in Cranston Rhode Island services cancelled. God is making house calls. This is from Athens Tennessee folks. It's okay the church is empty. On Easter. The tomb was empty to not a bad point. And this is the journey of the faith. Church in Windsor Mill Maryland. Jesus road and asks into Jerusalem. Keep Yours at home through our words. Happy Easter Everyone. Still Easter with everything. Else stay inside. That does it for US tonight. We will see again on Monday. The will show weeknights at nine on MSNBC.

Nursing Home Bronx federal government New York City Dr Ernest Patty Rachel Kansas Saint Barnabus America Saint Barnabas Hospital Michigan Alabama President Obama Corona Nbc News Saint Barnabus president US
What Happens Before and After a Complete Psychotic Break with Azi Jankovovic

Your Spinout is Gorgeous

50:25 min | 9 months ago

What Happens Before and After a Complete Psychotic Break with Azi Jankovovic

"And I think that's what happens with. Mental illness is that we tend to write people off. They're just crazy. They're mentally ill. They're sick in the head and underneath all of that. There's a much deeper story. Hello friend I'm so grateful that you're here. You're listening to your spin out is gorgeous. A podcast of communion place where we can act within the full spectrum of humanity. My name is Natalie Q. and I'm your host. I'm a mother a lover friend and your fellow human what I want to offer. You is liberation from the cultural foists narratives that are thrust upon us and much of our experience here on the planet. I'm with you on your journey of learning. What if everyone you knew was pursuing a life of whole self integration witnessing and offering? Thanks for all that they are warts. And all that's not just self-care that's true on conditional self love and I want to be with you as you set your life and all the things that aren't serving you alight with you as you bravely. Consider life from another perspective. Let's explore all things humanity without the veneer together life examined not just the pretty parts U. N. Let's do this. Hello Brand High. Are you thank you so much for tuning in for another episode of? Your spinout is gorgeous. I'm so glad you're here. I hope that like me. You are feeling that's first little whiffs of and hints of normalcy back in the air. Feeling like yourself feeling like things are a little bit more like what we're used to. I know I am and I'm excited. I'm even excited about marketing. This podcast finding those synergies in on my exciting journey and so I hope that you're feeling that too and I am just really really excited that it's mental health awareness month for. May So we're going to be focusing on some of those topics today. My guest is Ozzy Jank for short. Is Reality Jankovic She is a master. Educator focused on synthesizing social science research and ancient spiritual wisdom on pertinent topics such as happiness and well-being hurt. She has a book seminars. The coaching experiences and she has synthesized thousands of pivotal studies. Papers talks from experts in the fields of psychology sociology communication studies interpersonal relationships. Neurology and success in business. She holds a doctoral degree in education. We're going to get into that a little bit Today as we focus on her full on psychotic break which she speaks about with such salience and clarity and calm retrospection. I don't know how to even describe it. I just know you're GONNA love it. Because her voice both physical speaking voice and the Voice of what she speaking about Just really touched me deeply into my life and heart. She has conducted research on mindful leadership and She also has seminars that integrate teaching and learning about the mechanics of personal growth and transformation. So I'M GONNA leave a lot of this in the show notes along with her website and where you can connect with her but I am so honored to have her today. Speaking on this so that we can speak on these topics that have been so stigmatizing and really speak to them And breathe some life in through them into them and work toward a better future together where these topics are given the love. Compassion insight Inquiry that they so deserve so without further ado here is welcome to the show. I'm so glad to have you. Thank you so much for having Me Natalie. I think just said Yeah. That's the time really happy to hear. I'm really really awesome. Thank you for that well. Let's just jump right in because your story is not only so fascinating an interesting but it's so resonant and useful timely helpful and anything that we would want in a story for mental health awareness so just again let's go through some of the context of what led you to the certain events that are going to highlight different topics that we want to cover today and pretty much. You know where we're going so the floor is yours absolutely you know it's so interesting this morning. Natalie is on the phone with my health. Cook Nomi Levy his amazing and I was just sharing with her somewhat even experiencing over the past sixty days in this quarantine that we've all been going through and how I notice the emotional shifts the physiological shifts in my body and in my mind and she was sharing with me. How each one of us you know we have our bio individuality and the way that we respond to stress can really vary and one of the ways that we as human beings respond to stress can be with variations in our mental health. And you know this is all again very by individualized there so many different factors leading into what we present on the outside how we behave how we feel how we therefore can end up acting and I think it's you know after having on a journey and I'm definitely GonNa get into the journey with you. I think what I've come to understand so much as that. Mental health is really a physiological state of being. There's this really strong mind body and I believe spirit connection and it's an interplay and it's a constant interplay and so what I've come to believe after almost forty years of life on planet earth is that there should be absolutely no stigma with any diagnosis any mental health. Challenge any situation that anyone has and I've come to believe this after having really suffered from dealing from really buying into the stigma to be perfectly honest when I had my challenges beginning in eighteen years so I you know above everything else. That's really my message that we're humans and we were designed tellingly and that said we live in a world with so many different influences from the air that we breathe to all the really trillions of chemicals in our environment and factors in our environment. And there's no shame in having a response to those things that's why I was. There was a poll to follow the holistic psychologist on inside. Nicole Dr Nicole. Did you see her post yesterday? Kind of is was exactly this? It struck me so much I for one could not believe that she ever gets an ounce of pushback or like it her. Her are polarizing in any way like she literally is breaking these down into bite size pieces. And if you don't listen or follow her absolutely find her on instagram. The holistic psychologist but she was talking about how it all started was by a psychotic break. I believe is the word she used that led to a spiritual awakening. Which in that moment this. That was like totally reconnected. Me Back to my own ethos for why. I'm so fascinated by that because that can be the precursor to a spiritual awakening aura Understanding yourself or the world on a deeper level. I know my My sister as well. I went through my apostasy event with the Mormon Church leading the Mormon Church. One of my sisters Last summer said broke down and cried and apologized for how she treated me during that time but said I thought you were having a nervous breakdown and I would never did. Yeah and and I knew that I wasn't but to be treated like I mean so. That's where it dovetails with me. And maybe we'll develop not today but develop that point that. I've just brought up in Green Deb At another time but this is about you today and I'm Su- guided United States. I think you bring up so many interesting ideas in terms of you know this this having a psychotic break. What does it mean to have psychotic break? And the way that I've come to understand the psychotic break you know you haven't gone through your your break away from the Church for example and your sister treating you just like you were having a nervous breakdown on some level. There are something she couldn't process couldn't understand or didn't know what to do with and so she was labeling breakdown kind of writing it off and I think that's what happens with mental illness is that we tend to write people off. Oh they're just crazy. They're mentally ill. They're sick in the head and underneath all of that. There's a much deeper story and I think that the break from reality can come. When reality isn't receiving the energy that you are trying to put out there or perhaps you don't know Put it out there so you don't have to get into. I've definitely had my few psychotic breaks in In my time on this earth and I would be happy to share one or more than one of them with you. I think that the first one that comes to mind you know being that we're both right around the same age and we're both mothers is something that happened to me in the twenty twelve and kind. Call it. This superwoman syndrome. Looking back at what I was going through and then the shift that happened in my life after my psychotic break so I would be happy to get into that one. Yeah so So take you back to the scene. It was twenty twelve. It was summer and I had three kids. Two daughters and a son and my youngest boy was starting preschool. In the fall and at the time I was a teacher. I've been teaching a really wonderful school and doing all sorts of work as an education specialist loving my job and I knew that my next step was to get a doctorate in education and so I got into the program of so excited and then summer semester began and I just decided as soon as it did that nothing in my life was GonNa fall through the cracks at all and it was a very firm decision that nothing at home would fall through the cracks. I would continue to host guests regularly and gone date nights with my husband and go to his work events. My kids would stand all their activities. I'd keep carpooling them to school and keep working and somehow just kind of fit in those six hour classes and hundreds of pages of reading every week. How am I GONNA do that? Well after my first six hours long I realized that I couldn't pay JEN looking back for. I mean it's completely understandable as to why so many things on my plate at a time I mind was in so many different places and decided to go check in with a physician and see if possibly you know there were. There were medications out. There may be prescription. They can help me with my inattention at school and I was prescribed Ritalin. I believe Ritalin real and adderall over the course of the summer twenty twelve and as summer turned into fall and life got busier. My course loads got busier. I started up my dose. A little bit. I really enjoy the way it made me feel and it was really great because I wasn't so hungry so I didn't have to take the time to prepare any elaborate meals to bring with me to work. I could just kind of eat a kind bar. You know twice a day and drink a couple lot as and I would be you know well on my way so that was how I was living. You know I started losing weight which I thought was great because then I could skip exercising too to save more time Iraq right like it. One of the live shows love the logic and and so. That's kind of how I was living just in this lake really overly productive. Just stay up a little extra know. Read review extra pages. I needed to get straight as that was thing for me and I just couldn't let anything be imperfect in my life at that time or here imperfect to anyone like I needed to be the lady with it altogether and inside I did not feel. I didn't feel so together but but that just seemed to be like what I thought I was supposed to do. I need to look good. I needed to get good grades. I needed to you know. Try To be successful as I could and just check off all the boxes on this picture. Perfect life and something happened in the fall of twenty twelve. I was at school at USC and in Los Angeles. I was in class and I looked down at my phone and I noticed that I keep getting this repeat call for my mother-in-law and I walked out of class realizing shouldn't call very often. It must be really important and I found out that a very dear dear relative. My husband's great uncle. Who were he was like a grandfather to my children. He died that day and when I came home that night after class everything changed. It was like the rug had been pulled out from under me. My husband had gone to identify the body. He was the only living relative blood relative in the area and he are great uncle Leon. He was a Holocaust survivor and he was just a very very special part of her family. And as soon as that death happened it was like I just couldn't keep the balls in the air anymore. Natalie I couldn't do it and something hit me this we of emotion that was just too much to keep juggling everything else and that was the week that I really stopped being able to sleep at night. Which led me to a full blown psychosis. Tell me more about that and how it showed up and what it looks like. I feel like I've come close. But there's so much stigma that it's like hold it together. You've got this like death grip on your mental mind and and your outward facade like like you just you just keep it together. Ito Umpire when just so funny to me. So funny to me that I needed to do that. Because as you've told me yours and from the ones from Nicole from the holistic psychologists there really is something to people in tune with their spiritual life where think life on earth is so weird and funky and foreign and sometimes dark and very heavy being in matter that lake right in way like psychotic break like sort of inevitable and yet here. Because of the stigma we will at times. Just keep it together here on you know absolutely I think you know I think that the elements of the psychotic break to psychotic breaks with an ASS that I've experienced what I've learned is that there are certain spiritual components where we can transgender bodies and we really can connect with you know With with the with deep parts of life like you know we can gaze into the sky and really see rainbows the light and we can really see that the most bright and beautiful details of a leaf and we can melt into a conversation and feel so connected to someone else on this planet. You know we can really have deep all encompassing joyful experiences when we are not having psychotic break but I think for me. The psychotic break that experienced at that time showed me that there were certain powers within me that I wasn't acknowledging in my life and I think to to bring you back there. You know what happened to me? Essentially where I started losing touch with reality was that after the debt happened. I had a lot on my mind a lot of my heart that I wanted to share with her husband and he emotionally. You know as was really understandable. Unreasonable at the time was in able to process Everything going on in our family rounds death and so our communication broke down and eat a little by little. I just wasn't sleeping and I wasn't going to ask anyone for help. I didn't I didn't know that I needed help. And it was this sort of diy life. I was living. I just thought if I had I had a problem. I have to figure it out and if I didn't sleep at night I'd have to just pop an extra in the morning and and you know have another coffee and kind of you know Mary. Way And I did not realize the body has its own way of communicating back with us. The body has away as much as it can feel dark and confining of keeping us in our lane and of giving us signals of what we need by way of intuition and as I was shutting down the signals you know not pay attention to my hunger signals and not respecting. My Body's need for sleep or for you know park proper nutrition or even just like acknowledging. My emotions are creating time for mindfulness. I didn't know about this things yet. And so the way that the psychosis manifested was that I simply started hallucinating. I was under a lot of pressure and I just believe that I needed to take vacation. I needed to get away and started packing my bags. One day was a Sunday and I had been acting. You know out of sorts like my husband knew I wasn't sleeping at night and I made some really uncharacteristic outspoken posts on social media. And those I think were red flags time. I wasn't so outspoken on social media at the time and I think because suddenly I was really voicing these strong opinions it was it was uncharacteristic Natalie. I'll tell you what like I think that we each have such a strong voice. We all have so many opinions in so much to say but there's a process of repression that goes on where we wonder like. Does anyone even care what I have to say? That were and I think I was so in that mode of. Just repressing inner voice. Not Speaking my truth that it was building up inside me and it just exploded in these really honest raw vulnerable social media posts and my husband did not know what to do with it and so he and my parents collectively made a decision. Which was probably you know. Very reasonable and rational at the time that I should go to the Local Hospital Cedars Sinai Hospital in La and get checked out. And I was just resistant. I was just not having it. I didn't want there to be anything wrong with me. Like on our way to the hospital I remember you know my husband drove me there and I just remember thinking. It was a Sunday afternoon and my parents had come up from San Diego to watch kids and my dad was trying to get me out the door and I I was literally like physically pushing him out of my way because I felt so scared that if I were to go to the hospital and they were to be something wrong with me that I would lose everything important to me in my life that I wouldn't be I would no longer be somebody likeable. I would no longer have the job that I wanted. Have I would no longer be able to finish school at there would really be something wrong with me and the set are like an ego death ernest. Now that's obviously what you'd think what there is a part of you dying but you can't see that something's going to be reborn from it. F Hall of this attachment to the identity in the life which clearly needs to die. 'cause it's not sustainable sledding in patch to this this this illusion of trying to be perfect and that was really it really was the slow death of the ego that that happened and you know essentially my my moment you see these posted social media oftentimes people ask like how many countries have you traveled to. Have you ever been in the back of a police car and I actually never reached that thread because I have been in the back of a police Dr Right so this was the night that I had a psychotic break and it was November Eighteenth Twenty twelve and after my husband took me to the hospital? I was really resistant and I didn't WanNa go in so I called up my best friend and I asked to pick me up from the hospital. She did and she came and got me. She said I could stay in her home and our guest room and words and died and she went out that night with her husband had a prior engagement that they couldn't cancel so I was home. The Babysitter was home and I decided I would take a shower out unwind and try to go to sleep and as it was in the shower. I picked up a glass bottle of like a hair treatment and felon shattered on the floor now. Unbeknownst to me my husband was in the hallway outside of this room. The babysitter had led him into kind of come check on me and he heard glass break. So what did he do he like any you know carrying has husband called mental health services on one eight hundred number and in the states and they sent out a police dispatch to check on me so here. I was in the shower and before I knew it. There were two police officers in this guest room and I was in the bathroom finishing his shower. And I hear you know as Rela Jankovic. This is a police. You need to come out. Can you give me my dress you know? Can you tell me my dress? My Bra through the door and You know that's like that's just. It was just so humiliating this moment and I'm like fumbling my clothes on wet. I'm trying to put on the Silk Dress. This is what they had to be through the door and And I came out and I felt so bewildered you know. Seeing suddenly these police officers I felt so threatened and so scared that I resorted to praying. I just started praying silently and rather than answering their police officers and appearing like a coherent cognizant human being I was just praying silently. Had No idea what I was doing. And so they handcuffed me and And they handcuff me and they dragged me out of her home and they drag me down the front pathway into a police car and they threw me into the backseat with my hands behind. My back and I was really uncomfortable in my hair was really wet. I don't even bigger time to put underwear on between us and everyone and I was so uncomfortable on. I just decided you know in that moment like I need to be more comfortable. Can't have hands behind my back. I took gymnastics. I'm super flexible. So I found a way to to Jimmy the handcuffs under my legs and I gently knocked on the window of the police car. And excuse me officer just want to let you know. Was it all right if I sit like this instead of that and more comfortable this way and without responding to me one of the officers picked up his walkie talkie called in. You know for some Special Code and within a minute or so up pulled an ambulance and from that moment I was transported from the backseat to the ambulance and handcuffed to a Gurney. And after a short conversation with emt in which she told me she really didn't want to do this to me and she really didn't think I needed it. I was given a very strong shot of something which I think was helpful to put me out is. It's really strong antipsychotic and the next thing I knew I woke up in this white room with Just this basic like metal frame bed and mattress nothing on the walls and Athene on the floors and no idea where I was. I felt like I had the worst hangover of my life and discovered that I was in a public. Satra word I have been taken against my well and that my friend was the death of my ego. It's my job is on the floor about the no I had enough. Hysteria is the right word but the law enforcement element of again policing mental health. And we live in a complex and complicated world and that if people are acting out of sorts like is the best answer. I'm not here to say have the best one. But it just seems so. I don't know we're GonNa there by stigma then that this is like a police that this is not like that it's criminal subliminal related criminal element. Exactly what happened and that feeling of having done something wrong really permeated being from APP and and it stayed with me for for months and I think that is that was the beginning of a really important journey for me because in feeling like I had done something wrong created so much shame within me that I was paralyzed by anxiety. I was paralyzed by the thoughts and the beliefs surrounding this experience. So much so that over the course of going in and out of three different hospitals over the next three weeks from November eighteenth to mid December twenty eighteen i. I wasn't really even telling people at the time I mean a few. My close friends knew which was incredible and they came to the hospital to support me but it was like a secret. It was really like a secret. Yeah there's so many things in life like that right. I was thinking about this yesterday again. About my apostasy about how much it turned in event about my life about everyone else about me and I was like totally absent from the experience. Divorce can be like that too because I've gone through that is well. It's all about how other people and how society what society says about this thing about you and you're totally absent in this thing just about you but how you experienced personally. There's how everybody else is experiencing it for you through you your absent but then how you are present in it is so much unwrapping of this. Juju of what everyone else is saying. And how they're feeling and especially if you have like a measurement and co-dependency you're then abandoning your son's made an experience about you. Everyone else I and it makes me think that I don't WanNa into the experience about you. Okay for everyone else. Like somehow I had to protect people from my stay my like. I had a classmate who asked to come visit me and I guess she showed up at Ucla Hospital and they told her I wasn't on the roster of course it wasn't on the roster because I was in secret unit. Nobody can know when you're in the psych ward like okay. Clearly there's a stigma going on here and and I was too afraid to tell her I was too afraid she wouldn't alike me anymore. And you know when I just covered over the years Natalie. Since his experiences that `slowly slowly I began telling people when I learned is that everyone is touched by mental health issues. You know I cry when I say this because it's so true but the more I was holding it in and keeping it to myself the more I felt the pain of of being alone like somehow is the only one in the world who'd ever been through this and as soon as I started to let go and the story that's really when doors in my life started opening up because I got to hear stories you know such as yours stories of all kinds of people who were really holding it together on the outside and they had they had this secret relative with this. You know problem more. Sending their family or some diagnosis. They'd never shared with the world. And I think that you know looking back trying to like manage. Everyone else like you mentioned. It took me time to realize that this wasn't about everyone else. This was about me learning to trust my inner goodness and only by feeling badness like I was identing incredibly wrong. Could I come to understand the importance of discovering and tuning in with the inner goodness that you have that I have that we all have and yet we may not realize what I'm thinking of as well as their suspect called the Tibetan book of living and dying kind of exposes how crazy in the West are practices and rituals and beliefs about death are and again if this is an ego death of course it dovetails and what is the tradition in these two betton cultures with the monks is to guide the person through the death? Can you imagine how much is your experience rather than the hysteria of ambulances and police personnel? That there was someone who'd been trained to guy like. Hold you and guide you through what was happening at says. Aw It's I it's so interesting. You mentioned that the Tibetan tradition. I know one thing in that culture. Also a death. Meditation where you meditate on your death it any at any stage in your life and this really clear consciousness that we are renting space in our physical bodies were here for a limited amount of time. And I think that this ritual that you're bringing up is so beautiful Being escorted out of the physical world. And into this. You know next place and I think we forget. Sometimes that you know our time here is short. I think it's a really really important reminder and that we can nurture each other even scary times like run. Well we can dream that we could. We could treat people like that And that could be said certainly the world. I'm interested in working toward and creating higher. There is more focus on guiding people through their experiences instead of shaming people through their experiences. Because as you said I'm sure there was use in all of it but you really did not need an. I did not need to for all of the things that I have just needed to claim for myself. I did not and you did not deed to unravel all of the shame. That is just a really unnecessary part of our culture. It's the only way I agree with you so much. That what we feel you know. There's no shame at having emotions. There's no shame in having human body and in learning how to exist in this really sophisticated machine that we are inside of. And you know tell you. I'll share a little story with you kind of wraps up that saga and it also I think was the the gateway if you will to a new understanding of myself. I think this is something that you know. Anyone can benefit from a practice that I discovered few months into my process. So taking your back again. This moment twenty eighteen. I was in and out of these hospitals. I started learning different Method modalities for for mental health and and learning how to care for myself and You know both medical in the hospital and also a number of different therapies that they brought in to to to one of the hospitals and then once I came out and after I came out I was. I had a lot of shame and isolated myself a lot and a lot of my few close friends. Were check in with me you know. Let's let's meet up what's to coffee. Let's go for a jog. Let's do this do that. And I always making excuses and I felt certainly like I had an answer to my friends like I was afraid of them leaving me. I was afraid of them. Not Liking me not approve of me leaving me and me being alone and finally one day one of my closest friends asked me for coffee and I just said okay mic Cheryl come. I'd no more excuses left and use them all and so we went and we were sitting outside of Coffee Bean. It was like a spring morning so this is four five months after I'd been like at home do not match for awhile in bed. Depressed and We were sitting over our lots as outside and I couldn't hold the tears back and I just sat there with no words and tears streaming down my face and her name is Laura and she looked at me and she asked me she said OSCE. Is this what you've been doing since November and I just nodded my head up and down yet. This is it. This is what I've been doing. You know you're looking at it right here. I'm speechless. I'm crying and she looked at me and she said Ozzy. You didn't do anything wrong. And Natalie I'm telling you that moment. I felt the shift like sending was lifted off of me. I could notice the sky again like I noticed that there were clouds in the sky in the birds chirping and I was able to look around myself and see where I was like. This layer this tense layer thoughts and shame and guilt just just receded for a couple of minutes and it was like this powerful opening where I was able to see this other side. There was another side to all of this and something brighter was waiting for me and so returned home that day and I remember I like to pray out loud in English just speak. What's on my mind to the infant wine? And just remember that day just saying out loud like I know there's something else or something else on the other side. Show me what it is. What do I need to do and the message that I got was that I needed to search for everywhere in my life that I wasn't doing something wrong anything that I could find where I was doing something wrong? Basically where I was showing up and I I was doing something because I wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to be good in this world and I could read this for you. I wrote it on my phone and one of my notes and I used to open at every day on my iphone under the notes appliqued the little yellow wind paper and in the beginning. I started out by writing like today. I got out of bed when I really didn't want to and I made my kids breakfast or today. I got up and you know I I went for a little walk or I did the dishes or I drove Carpool. And you know little by little just taking these small steps back into life or I should say ahead forward into the new life that is creating and atlas grew. I still had the list and I actually created a journal called the growing kindness journal where I share a little bit about the story and there's different quotes about kindness and the idea is to write down the acts of goodness the acts of kindness that you're doing because you know we have sixty seventy thousand thoughts de them repeat. Most of them are negative. And if we allow DEFAULT MODE HAS SORTA RUN. We can really gloss over the place in our life. Where we're showing up in more serving from our inner goodness and by consciously attending to those acts even if they're seemingly small right I always say like the even a seemingly smallest of acts has ripples that radiate out into infinity. The smile that you give your neighbor can change her day which can in turn change the day of everyone. She comes in contact with and quickly see that that turns into a lot of people across a lot of space in a lot of time so that was a huge for me and it just went on and on. I mean I managed to stay in school which was incredible. I managed to finish my degree three years later. I didn't go back to work for about a year and a half after my breakdown. I just worked my health and focused on my family and school and Took took the work off my plate for a while I started there be. I went to a really amazing therapist. I interviewed a lot of their business. Found this wonderful woman. Her name's Dr Patty Johnson. She lives in La. She's on instagram. She's amazing she's I think. She's in her late fifties or even sixties now and she's just so loving so devoted and she's an educator as well as as a psychologist and she was able to teach me how to use tools. Like how did how did you see in my life and outlook look at my thoughts and how to become conscious and shift my beliefs and she was a huge part of my healing journey. Big Big blessing in your life the her new UN saw this must be so proud and in awe because again it also sort of goes counter to what is the popular thought that these people are just mentally ill and we just get to write them off and then that just puts it in a nice tidy package that makes our world makes sense. This is her and she is that and he has that. And now everything aligns and is all wrapped up with a bow whereas it's like if you allow the experience to show up and in a certain way you fight it but I'm sure another way you welcome it and then it becomes like it becomes the a process instead of diagnosis and I'm not a doctor and I'm not here to say that you are everyone or everyone looks this certain way. I'm talking about stigmas actually talking about diagnoses or actual mental illness. I'm talking about our attitudes of mental illness just to make that distinction and of course there are some people. Who are you know? Need Medication. Don't need medication should do the. I'm not here to be a doctor. I am not a doctor and again. The stigma is why We need to look into that because my back I even to save or something I could be saying is controversial when all I'm talking about is the attitudes toward each other of labeling one and other and Edmund our own miss education about things so but what a beautiful example of the way Mental illness and and different. Because this wasn't the only one in we in the our Chappie for you talked about different things that were going on with you. Psychologically Mentally physiologically in your teenage years just different experiences. What you show us is how you can have these experiences. They can come move through you. And there is a processing that is possible an amending beyond it and on incorporating of it absolutely and I think you know last week I was I was zoom funeral for one of my mentors. One of my earliest mentors. Her name is Fox. And she's a Jewish temple director in North County San Diego and And I'M GONNA cry when I'm telling you the story but she was my first mentor. She gave me a teaching job in the religious school when I was a teenager and we became really close to twenty twenty one days ago. I've I've talked about her son. Who was forty two years old was murdered? And he's working on the streets of Francisco and came with assume funeral a few days ago and I found out about it. The last minute from my mom and I hopped on the zoom call and hundreds of people were there and she was speaking and crying and as I tuned. She began to speak about her son who had battled mental illness and how hard it was for him. And you know one of my beliefs is that. What IS THE DIFFERENCE. Not only between illness and wellness illnesses. I right I L NECE and wellness is we and I believe firmly that whatever we're going through we do not have to go through it alone and you know. I was so afraid to share the story but I will. I will tell you time and again I was never. I don't think I was ever rejected by anyone like I never lost a friend. I used to be so afraid of losing friends for so many years of my life. I felt really Afraid of abandonment. And what I've learned is the exact opposite thing is as happened for me that the more I'm open and the more I tell me truth that you know have a lot going for me but like I've had a really hard emotional road and we all have emotional ups and downs and the more I've been real with it the closer I feel to two people and the more people opened up to me and the support I am telling you. I checked myself into the hospital. Two years ago two summers ago and I knew I had learned a lot between between two thousand twelve and two thousand eighteen. I learned a lot about what the signs are what to look for. And so my husband I together. You know we checked in voluntarily and I had a whole support team. One of my closest friends psychologists had a psychiatrist and it was a whole team effort and when I was in hospital I had five visitors day like you know people coming in and out and I felt no shame about being there. I was disappointed with the conditions of this hospital. You know there's no outdoor space I. I really I think this is like a st episode. All in its own some of the caregivers in the hospital work compassionate and they really were carrying but I saw a lot of things on the inside. That really showed me to the bone and And you know it's just interesting I over the years about how to be there for someone in having a break and I was able to help people while I was there for the week that I was there and so much so that one of the inpatients became a coaching. Client of mine later. And we work on. You know not living through our stigma and I think that's huge. Because I see her. You know this particular woman who is just so lovely and she has so many talents using musician. And she's you know she's she plays a number of instruments and she's a painter is creative and she's has so many strengths but it's so easy for her to forget those live through this myopic this small-minded feeling this feeling of being smallest feeling of being a diagnosis. And so I'm there. I'm there to remind her and I remind I'll remind anybody needs to hear it because I live it every day. There is a part of us. Natalie there's a part of you there's a part of me. There's a part of every single one of us that no words can possibly describe. We are beyond words and so. There's there's never a diagnosis. It defines us. Were so much more than that. We are so much more than that is so beautiful. That is just exactly like the. We're not gonNA talk that right there. Tell where they can find you and connect with you and we're going to have to have you back with our. We didn't even get all right there so it's mental health awareness one. We will get to it all that we can. I really appreciate your support and your open heart and I see you're on this journey and you're keeping it real and being so authentic and sharing and I appreciate that so thank you for having being you and in terms of where can find me. I have all kinds of resources. I have a book on Amazon. I have a podcast. I have meditation circles on an ongoing basis that I facilitate online and I think the best place to find me really would be my website. Which is Dr Ozzy Dot? Co It's D. R. as E. DOT CO and anyone on the Shire a resource. I I I have meditations and all sorts of resources to share anyone who pops my sight love that again. Well that was beautiful by the way. And thank you for your words and your wisdom and sharing your story and being here. It was my honor and pleasure. Thank you Natalie. Thank you so much for this. Thank you for having me. So welcome law. Wasn't that amazing. A huge things to ozzy for being here and for sharing so generously of her heart and her story. And thank you for tuning in and listening as I said his mental health awareness month which you probably know and so. I'm so excited to bring you some shows next week will be on the inner child and then we've got other shadow work anagram stuff coming up. I'm super excited about this month. And what we're going to be doing on this topic married with our topic. Of course you're spin out gorgeous which it is hello For more information please go to my website. Which is Natalie q dot Com where you can also find? Mike Guided Meditations and other stuff I blog about and other information you can find a twenty one day accountability Journal Which is going to be such a useful tool as we're lifting off of quarantine. We're looking to get back into our great habits and I'm GONNA also going to be voicing some guided meditations for the inner child so go to the website to look for those also loved to connect with you on Instagram Atalay Q. Or Tick Tock Natalie Docu And thank you again as well to antelope the wild which I have not mentioned in a couple of weeks who is the DJ who produced the track body trouble which is our theme music. And he so generously. Let us use that for the show. So thank you again. Antelope the wild connect with him. On soundcloud mix cloud check out the show notes for any Links questions spellings of now first and last names and we'll see you back here next week. Thanks again be well.

Natalie Ozzy Jank Los Angeles Nicole Dr Nicole Natalie I Natalie Q. United States Mormon Church Iraq officer superwoman syndrome adderall Satra Cook Nomi Levy Local Hospital Cedars Sinai Ho Dr Ozzy Dot JEN
Hour 2: Stephen A & Jessica Mendoza

Get Up!

50:31 min | 2 years ago

Hour 2: Stephen A & Jessica Mendoza

"You know, the right hire can make a huge impact on your business, and that's why it is so important to find the right person, but where do you find that individual? You could try posting on job boards, but can you really be sure the right person sees your job instead find the person who will help you grow your business with Lincoln as the world's largest professional network. People go to linked in every day to grow professionally and discover job opportunities and seventy percent of the US workforce is already there. Lincoln jobs matches people to your role based on more of who they really are. There skills their interests and even open. They are to opera -tunities this way your job gets seen by more of the right people. Most linked in members haven't recently visited the top job boards, but nine hundred ten members are open to new opportunities so you can only reach them on linked in. That's why new hire is made every ten seconds using Lincoln and businesses rate linked in forty percent higher, then job boards at delivering quality candidates. So here's what you do. Hurry to Lincoln dot com. Slash get up and get fifty dollars off your first job post that's linked in dot com. Slash get up. You'll get fifty dollars off your first job. Post Lincoln dot com. Slash get up terms and conditions apply. If you're a smoker, you know, switching isn't easy. You've tried vapes and six. They just didn't deliver the satisfaction you expected, but jewel is different. It's not an cigarette. It's vapor product that actually satisfies plus jewelers simple to use and there's no cigarette ash? No lingering odor as a smoker. You expect a certain nicotine experience right jewel delivers give jewelry dry. Check o. j. u. l. dot com. Slash sports switch and be satisfied. Yes, you can't do both warning this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Saturday night at six o'clock eastern time after peachy, I would gain one predictions for the World Series at breakdown of Spurs Lakers and Herbie on which one loss team has the best chance of reaching the college football playoff sportscenter tonight, six eastern on ESPN and the ESPN app. Okay, white clockwork. Once every one hundred and two years, the dodgers and Red Sox meet in the World Series. They've had one hundred and thirteen previous chances to do what they only did it once in one thousand nine hundred sixty. The dodgers were forty two years away from to LA. They were then known as the Brooklyn Robins in honor of manager. Wilbert Robinson, the New York Times wrote of them quote, he knew baseball as the spotted Sutter knows the secrets of quail hunting by instinct and experience pitch game two of that series. I'll tell you who did a twenty one year old Babe, Ruth. He threw fourteen innings of one run ball. The only run he allowed was inside the home, run inside the park home run in the first inning. And that happened because Harry Hooper until he Walker both slipped and fell in the outfield I policy is to the Hooper and Walker families for bringing that up all these years later, the Red Sox are going to win that series and five games. And in those five games, they use the total a five catchers. By contrast, Boston is used at least. Five pitchers in seven of their nine games. This postseason and none of them have exceeded seven innings in any of those games. So one hundred and two years later these to finally meet up again by the way, one of the pictures for the red Sox's David price. I had a chance to chat with him yesterday and he talked about finally, overcoming his postseason demons. I mean, it was it was very special. It was for sure. To to do what I've done for as long as I've done it into do it at such a high level to not be able to do it in the postseason. You know, that was that was that was tough to deal with, but to finally be able to, you know, check that off that list. You know that that point feels good as a change in mentality going forward. I find it impossible to imagine that someone in your position wouldn't have it somewhere in the back of their minds, the historical struggles. Now you have this really good memory to build on. How do you think it affects your mindset going ahead to your first start in this World Series. I know I can do it now. I mean, I, I knew that I could before, but I hadn't done it shit. So there's still. They're still might have been that point. Oh, one percent doubt in your mind that might never happen. So you know, there's there's no doubt that I dominate I can dominate it any point throughout the season and to to go out there and finally do that, you know, in Houston. I mean, it just I meant a lot to me. That entire interview can be seen on the get up Facebook page with David price. I feel before we start a new our that we have to address what happened here moment ago. Ryan Clark says, he refuses to be on the program until I apologized to him for ranking the Rams fourth. And so Ryan, let me say this to you. I sincerely from the bottom of my heart and the deepest place in my soul, do not apologize for blunting out the fact that the reaons paper tiger. Okay. Well, paper tired, NFL team. They've beaten the raiders the cardinals and the forty Niners the Wardi Niners are tro shes. The cart before dot is the best quarterback ball going to get out of there. Let me say this. Let me say this better winding part of New Orleans. I'm John you that right now. You got Jared Goff against drew Brees and I don't care where that game is played. It'll be a decent weather either in a dome or in Los Angeles. I'll take the saints. I'll take the patriots right now straight up against them on a home field. The going beat that when they played in Mexico City, November the Rams are the fourth. Team in the NFL and maybe not even that. How do you like that? Have some of those as. With that. Welcome back to get up come. So you live from the seaport district, pier seventeen. It is brought to you by chase. That's the most of this got the chase. I'm telling you right now, they're overrated and coming up in this hour. Here we go. It's Tuesday LeBron gave the home crowd of thriller last night, but one of the final buzzer sounded but Lakers hope for their first win. We're shot down the giants have all kinds of we're going to get into that highlight and show you bear things and fall intents and purposes came to an end last night and then Clayton Kershaw is career resumes, missing one thing, we'll tell you why they need to do to complete it on get up in this hour right now. Symbol season Owen three minutes with zero freak those tonight. Literally can't touch anybody zero. I'll feel like we're one and sixteen I got myself into. I don't know if I could be because I'm going for it on fourth and that's why I'm not coach. And here we go Los Angeles last night, look, Ron, and the Lakers taken on pop in this birth and Jalen rose. A lot of respect there. And this was eight fascinating game late into the night like this down six LeBron Kyle who's he's thirty seven com Couva played terrific. And as long as the bronze aims plays like a power Dr position I think caused the plane go front is going to be really affect. Here's the big moment of the night last night down three with two seconds left Legrand, throws it in w. w. k. d. what would call we do, oh, they were making three in that situation. Don't be mentioned in Kobe by the wave of branch y to call time. I've been there don't make those Joe eight. Try listen to them. I wasn't calling. Don't know. Getting ready to go up there and tries to make a guy a game tying shot. I take that for what it's worth at thirty two points. Fourteen assists eight rebounds to overtime. We go under two to play Lakers up three of the plane defense. They stopped them Argyros and by the way, it's four thirty two points and then watch the sequence here, Josh hearts going to finally get it out to Lonzo ball LeBron for the finish plus one don't get caught up in the fact that Allah terrific hustle, Josh heart with the scramble play. He gets it out the Lonzo ball quickly, say the two LeBron James and it's a six point lead. Don't get distracted by not paying attention to the score. Is less than a minute to go and the Lakers ups. That's right. That's the game they should put away by the way. They had forty one fast-break points to seven, twelve seconds left LeBron at the line up one. Eight of w. w s what would shag do? No, no, no. Don't start that he misses both free throws so the Spurs Emma chance where the win, who's going to get the last shot. Patty meals off a dribble handoff action. If they don't, if they helped you kick him back to the markets authors shoes to fifteen foot pump fakes Dr Patty meals over the left shoulder, bang, bang. And so they got one more shot and insulin grant from the wind. That's his money shot. However, have terrific d- by Rudy game played a solid game on both ends what a night. It was in LA San Antonio wins one forty, three one, forty, two. Really one time since you've started this season. Owen three Nelson's Morgan you do you? Is it. On a boss. I got myself into the process I get, we'll be fine. So. I didn't come here thinking we were going to be, you know. Blazes storms in the gate is the process and understand that. So you know, the game is frustrating not to get the win, but I've showered and I'm, I'm good. Now. Okay. So now that he is showered we can show him this note, Michael Jordan's. First championship team was the only team in NBA history to start in three and then go on to win a title using that season as a starting point and going through last year have been a hundred and thirty one teams that have started Owen three and less than a quarter of them went on to make the play, but you could. They could be three and all they still ain't going on to win the title. Okay, maybe not the title, but how about the playoffs? We're talking about the not even making the playoffs. No one expects them to win the title. No-one reasonable expects them to win the title, but people expect them to make the playoffs. People expect them. Some people accept to go deep in the playoffs. What are you seeing it? I went three. Please pay attention to the Western Conference dynamics teams three through nine. We're only divided by two total basketball games. I talked about what's the most important thing for the Los Angeles Lakers. This season is getting off to a good start when you're only three, your ready, suspend have suspensions with Ingram. And Rondo that cripples your opportunity for that to happen. Therefore, we have an accommodation now of Ken. They find a way to get some sort of win streak going. So they can maintain a level of consistency to put them in position for this to happen. Of course, there's a lot of basketball to be played and you gotta give San Antonio Spurs of credit, but this is not the start at the bridge as Cleveland one. Could it possibly started worse there? Owen three. They've been involved in an embarrassing brawl. They've got two star players suspended. I don't know how much worse it could possibly. Also, each of the losses came against Western Conference foles which is going to play a part in playoff seeding also plays a part in the fact that if you expect the Lakers to advance, they probably should be able to compete against teams in their own house, an exciting game last night. But at the end of the day, then as Bill Parcells famously said you are what your record says you are right now. The Lakers are all in three seriously. At the end of the game. You wanna got an worst-case. Give me one of those. Give me one of those. That's one thing. Will say about shack. He found a way to make at least one when they needed a late LeBron did not get either of them last night. All right. Let's get you to the Monday night football game last night. And this was they really interesting game. You got the giants. They got Dell Beckham and John Mara making. I guess before the game starts, he got. He lie with his brother watching it got Michael Vick wanting his former team. So we've got a cellphone interesting night second quarter. No score, Matt Ryan, all play action. He was lights out on play action passes last night. Thirteen. Fourteen Fatkin sick at ten, three lead, Mattie is with wrote for three seventy nine. Now, third quarter saints scored giants. Third and goal saquon Barkley Ryan stuff trying to get it right here. You're trying to run sideways because you can't move the line of scrimmage, but you know, they're going to be keying or saquon ever need, split out, not a good play call by Pat. She had fourteen carries for forty three yards into one fourth down. Look like, oh, Dell is open to the Queen had two quick opportunity. He's the number one option. This place has to get it out quick since he's not able to do that. He goes back to the middle. Of the defense, incomplete passes and accused stop for Atlanta felt he was the number one option. It was there. I'm not sure why he didn't throw it and neither was his coat. Okay. Here we go. Fourth quarter giants down two touchdowns this time. Take one does pounded in so twenty to twelve. An extra point would have made it a seven point game instead Pat trimmer decides to go to the two and they don't get. Yeah. Here people are going to point to the fact that they actually Dowd up a good play, but for me, you get the one and now you're seven points down and you get to make a decision late in the game for your team. If you should go to to get the win. How about Giorgio del Vecchio kicking a fifty six yard field goal for Atlanta, that gives them an eleven point lead. So now forty-seven seconds to go, the giants need to score and get the ball back and they run to quarterback snakes with no timeouts. Yeah, just don't understand that. You haven't been getting movement up all and you're going to go with alive, manning guy who doesn't normally quarterback, sneak the ball in for touchdowns. I don't like the call for when you missed this much time on the cloud greeny you do not give yourself an opportunity to win. You can see the clock in the lower white of your. Green. They do finally score by the time they do it is too little too late. They add the two point conversion, so it's twenty three twenty. This is the kick that they try Julio Jones easily fields. If it goes down to the falcons gets a win by field goal for the giants allot. Of course, you Krisha chances by fifty percent if you go for it and make it there. So that's that's what you do. Because then if we score a touchdown, we just kicked the extra point win. I felt good about the two point play and we just didn't connect on. And again, I think it's an aggressive approach from from head coaching perspective. I want to be aggressive for guys like to go. I love being aggressive. I don't know if I could be. 'cause I'm going forward on fourth, we're going for to, you know, it's not. That's why I'm not coach. So like the call, I'm always going around with them. Came over. I was disappointed and, but that's, that's what happened to sleep. You don't play to caliber that that you can't and we're not doing that. You know, we're, we're running out of time. We gotta get going and just can't can't settle for for almost any more. So you see the headlines of the papers this morning, New York, losing down Pat. They're talking about the two point call. They're talking about the red zone struggles, one way or another. The New York Giants have the worst record in the NFC going back to the beginning of last year and his point they have saquon and they have Dell, and they're one in six. So the so many different things we can take out of this game, but let's focus in where they really lost it, and that is the red zone, the inability to Slough at the end. And even before then, no, that's what put them in a position to have to go for two in-necessarily. And you had opportunities where you were in the red zone and greenie highlighted some of the MRs during the highlight, but look here saquon Barkley running sideways. That's not depleting one. You have oatmeal. Beckham Julia opened on a fourth one and you don't hit him. You miss their late in the first half on a wide open corner route that was actually Dowd up perfectly. By Pat sermon. You can't have those inconsistencies in the red zone and plan on beating a team like the Atlanta Falcons was so explosive on offense. Now, the risk of having you yell at me again and booger McFarland that's going to kill me because he was texting me all morning long before he got on his flight. Here's the logic of the going for the two. Okay. You have a better chance of missing one extra point. Then you do a failing onto two point conversions. That's what the analytics say. So the suggestion is that if you convert the first one and you have a chance to win with an extra point, if you don't, you can still tie with the second one. You increase your chance of winning and your chance of tying remained the same. That's what the analytic say. I'm not saying it right thing that you know the last time I checked numbers and urged don't play football wheel. And so for me, this is a situation. Your team finally gets a score in the red zone. You have an opportunity to build some momentum, and I actually liked the call. I think the call he went who was good. I hate. The decision to go to get your team within a touchdown. And now if you get the stop, you have an opportunity to make a decision. Do we go to win it right now or do we try to take this game into overtime? Oh, by the way, the falcons got to win, Matt. Ryan leads the league in passing yards this season, and they are still alive in a crowded NFC picture. If you look at the standings and you look at all the teams, that under five hundred feels to me like, that's the one you could see making listen. Absolutely. You obviously have a championship pedigrees as a team that's been to the Super Bowl. You have your NV quarterback playing at an MVP level. You lose some pieces on defense. Dion Jones is coming back soon. If you can get some stops. This team has the offense to score with anybody. Steve's are Qizheng now has his foot on the gas. You are scared to play the Atlanta, Falcons. If you are a defense coordinator anywhere in all right, coming up. It has been a very tough week for Blake Bortles, but here's the good news is Ryan Clockers here to help him find a silver lining. We will show you the power of positive thinking as we continue and. Just a moment. Plus Clayton Kershaw getting the call in game on Jess Mendoza tear. She'll tell us if even come up with a vintage performance at Fenway tonight. That's next with that thought in mind, a little trivia from our friend Hanbo true or false. Clayton Kershaw has thrown more postseason innings than any picture without a World Series ring threw balls answer next, get up on ESPN. Real throwback that's gonna does with us to out the World Series here and we have a little trivia for you. Jess. Trivia while also known as ham, buzzer Bank, true or false, Clayton Kershaw oval pitch game. One has thrown more seasoning thing. Any pitcher without a World Series ring. She says, true, I was thinking, tree is thrown game. One. Fair enough. He throwing the most postseason. How to rain the answer to that is true. He's one hundred and forty one career, postseason innings, and he will pitch at Fenway park for game one tonight. It'll be his first ever appearance at Fenway the oldest part of the majors as a lot of quirks that can present a lot of challenges for newcomers. But Kershaw says he's focusing on Mookie Betts and JD Martinez and the line of team that won one hundred and eight games. And so as I mentioned, we got here with us all morning long. The Clinton Kershaw that we're seeing now is not necessarily the same that we've seen throughout the entirety of his career. What do we expect to see tonight? You're going to see breaking balls and this is something different. This is a guy you mentioned he related ton on his fastball strategy entire career. But what we seen this season is no one through more breaking balls, but even in his last game, five NFC s sixty eight. The ninety seven pitches greenie will breaking balls. So this is a team in the Red Sox. So the matchup is something I excited to see because Red Sox beast on breaking ball. Now, Clinton Kershaw, of course, we're taught. Slatter we're talking curveball. I mean, he's got sick pitches, so it's not like if something easy to hit you're talking I and slugging third and batting average Red Sox offense. So this is something that's going to match up. I think, really, really well, but Clinton kershaw's at different pitcher strength against strength, which is an interesting, of course, he pitched a little bit in that game, seven. So yeah, let's see what we expect him to be fine. We've seen all these videos of him in the bullpen and the short. Oh, he wants the ball and this is. I mean, mentally, there's nobody stronger. Okay, fair enough. And so then let's talk about the other side. What's a concern for the dodgers going into the series out way too much eighty two strikeouts in the last series. That's the most of any series in the postseason I get it. It's the time, right? Everyone striking out. He look at who's won the World Series. The last few years Astros last year they were first in contact percentage, a hate, getting all numbers, but you've got to put the ball in play, and this is the Red Sox. The dodgers. My biggest concern dudes got to put the ball play. They can't keep striking out. They don't though right everyday strike out and they also set a franchise record for home runs. They are the team baseball team for sauna fight. So we'll see how that plays out again, Justice here through the World Series. So we'll have complete coverage for you of game one coming up tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, back to some football here because a superstar wants out cardinals. All pro cornerback. Patrick Peterson has asked to be traded sources, say he desperately wants out of Arizona and his coach. Steve will said, well, he can want anything he wants. We're not trade. Patrick, that's out of the question. So you want some numbers on Patrick Peterson. Let's give them to you is in his eighth season in the NFL he's as good as ever according to NFL next gen stats. Opponents of a passer rating of twenty five point five when targeting hen that has the lowest Mark of any player in the league to be targeted at least ten times. And so Ryan Clark, obviously, the defensive secondary is is where you made your living and Jalen Ramsey gets a lot of attention and rightly so player. But this guy is still the best corn national football. He talks a little bit less. He out. So how does that play out? Well, the way it plays out is we're seeing more people do this. We saw this same thing with Earl Thomas early on and off season. And obviously before he was injured, Patrick Peterson has been at the top of his game this year, and he's been at the top of the game as a cornerback since he came into the league eight years ago and he's trying to get to a place to win. And when I first started hearing these things, it was different from Patrick Peterson, very quiet guy. A guy that doesn't make much noise off the field, but it's Brian McFadden, who is cousin who was putting out some of these tweets. This is a real thing he wants out of there and there are teams interested understandable, and I will bring up the case of Larry FitzGerald. If Larry FitzGerald had been on a different team in different circumstances. I think we'd be talking about him as one of the greatest receivers of all time, but he hasn't had the spotlight because he's been on so many bad teams. He never wanted out of there. I can't really blame Peterson. He's been there a long time and they don't look anywhere close. No, they are anywhere close may have actually taken a step. Back this year now starting Josh Rosen, who was the first pick for you as a quarterback? And he knows that they aren't going anywhere and they are not going anywhere fast. So perpetual Peterson, you're trying to get to a place where you can compete and win and your contributions leads the championship. So let's talk about how significant acquisition this could be for someone we can talk all we want about living on bell. We can talk about Amari Cooper. There is there is not a player who might change teams before the trade deadline who could have a bigger impact on a potential Super Bowl, contender patch. Absolutely. If you're a contender, Patrick Peterson, has a basketball trade impact on your team. He comes to your team. It makes me mmediately better at one position that helps the ho- if you get to the New Orleans Saints, if you're the Philadelphia Eagles, this is the guy you chase it, you chase, but at the seeing that it takes a first round pick to get Amari Cooper, what would it take to get Patrick Peterson first round pick seems reasonable. I would give up I if you're one of those teams, I would give up a first round pick him. Absolutely. But. If that gets it done for the Zona cardinals, who right now are team that do not want to trade him away. So they're going to ask for the house in order to get there, but they are team that should trade him away because they have no chance of winning anything in time in the immediate future. So why not stockpile picks the way they're doing an Oakland. I think it makes sense. I think Oakland, I think Oakland and Arizona are trying to be in two different places. From a mindset standpoint, we all know it's a fire sale and Oakland. We know Oakland is looking forward to Las Vegas. I'm not sure if coach Wilkes wants that same mentality in Arizona right now. Understood. But at the end of the day, you got to kind of look forward. We'll see. Anyway, coming up here, we get more football Cam Newton, wait until the fourth quarter to turn into superman Sunday against the champs, Ryan will tell us why his timing was absolutely perfect. Plus, Matt Ryan has recaptured his MVP form this year. You'll see one play for last night that shows you why natty ice as the falcons headed in the right direction. Maybe back to the playoffs. My name is Lauren. I'm thirty three. I didn't want my identity to be the smoking mom. My first experience with jewel. I do remember being like distance, good. It's it's it's like a cigarette, but not. I don't miss smoking at all. Like I can officially say it grosses me out jewel is the tobacco alternative that delivers nicotine satisfaction without cigarette Asher lingering odor make the switch and j. u. l. dot com. Slash sports warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. All right. It is a tradition. Unlike any other Tuesday's, Ryan Clark has made to explain his tweets because if you watch football on Sundays and you follow Ryan Clark on Twitter, it's like you're having a conversation with someone who is not in the room. And so let's go through these so we can understand them are, let's start with the one you send to forty seven eastern time. Blake in a position where he can excel. Well, at this moment, Blake Bortles his own Asya live with his hands inside of the show in the head and Cody Kessler is now the quarterback of the Jacksonville Jaguars. This is the best place for Blake Bortles and for the Jacksonville, Jaguars wars right now, they totally botched this thing in the off season and Blake Bortles has held this team back not only last year, but this year. So now having him on the sideline, putting Cody Kessler of the game, you make that move and you move on, you do everything. You can to get a teddy Bridgewater to get Nick foles to get a tyrod Taylor guy. They can move the football and not turn it over. You had late in the perfect spot, Doug Marrone. On the sideline standing next to you while Jacksonville Jaguars it is on the field. You messed it up, homie. You had finally done the right thing. He's starting again this week, they'll be on a short leash. How about this one? The Debbie uncloudy just hit dude with a Jamal. Crawford crossover listens. They beyond colony has been doing people so wrong. He lives up in the middle of the field, right? So he's on top of the guard in, have you have you watched Jamal? Crawford played basketball. As soon as crop comes in two things are going to have it. Number one is shooting. Number two, somebody's ankles are getting broken and which the Davey and Clinton hit this dude with the in and out. It was like he had a basketball in his hand. He was here, you see me, oh, I'm back kills the gar Saxon quarterback. He's playing high school football with these lose right now, and it's amazing to watch and what an excellent athlete, a guy who played running back and return kicks at high school kid. Do I have a little dudes everywhere. Next one throwaways so bad in Dallas. Explain your tweet, are we so bad in Dallas? We got DB's running the ball. Jordan. Lewis not only has not had a carry in the league. He didn't have a carrying college. He's the quarterback. He was drafted into third round to stop people from catching the ball, but you're so bad in Dallas, which is why you'll get Amari Cooper, he's Zeke Elliott can't run the ball. You take off the defense and handing the ball physically. It shows where this team, Scott, Linda heads office coordinator, where their mindset is, they totally lost. Now, if getting Amari Cooper will change anything for that offense explaining the tweets with Ryan Clark. Next cream hunt out here, like remember me will think about it. When you talk about this, this team green into Kansas City Chiefs. What are you going to say patching Mahomes, then you're going to go to tyreek hill, and then most people go to Travis. Kelsey. All Kareem hunt did last year was lead the league in rushing, and you seen when Ambi read focuses on getting him the ball, he is still one of the most productive. Bags in the league last year after they started out five or no. This team hit a lull in the middle of the season because Andy Reid didn't make sure Corrine hunt had his touches. I can obviously see that he's learned from that mistake and Kareem hunt is going to get the rock. All right. I'm intrigued to say the least by the next one. Explain your tweet. Why is Brown so button naked out there? I mean, but booty naked, I'm talking about like all the weight. You need to stop, right? You, the New Orleans Saints, you know, you need to stop. This is the touchdown that could possibly tidy game urine cover, too. And von Vail ges doesn't get over the top. He's playing a totally different coverage, and then you can see as he's walking away, he's trying to blame it on somebody else, or would he saying is you know what? Man that's my folk. I did the wrong thing because then if you watch it on TV, it doesn't look like it's your fault. So you're yelling at yourself, but you're doing a demonstrative Lee. So it appointing you're yelling, appoint somebody else under the, hey, do this. John Brown was good this week next up. Put your. Bon Cameron Ryan. Explain your tweet Cam Newton had just throw three of the ugliest footballs I ever seen it on first second and third down four down combs. He steps up into the pocket. Those jumped past the Torrey Smith. He's hit and this is all just including the things that he did before that to get them in a position where they could score twenty one points in the fourth quarter, he was terrible for three quarters. He was terrible last week until late in the game. And did he didn't finish any say at the time for soaking for me is over and you saw it. He went into the phone booth. He put his Cape on and Cam Newton will his team to the wind in Philadelphia. That was a spectacular play. I agree. I got another one here day. De'andre Hopkins with these venom hands writing your tweet so video. Right? The movies coming out and you can see. He's like, first of all, he's super Blake have is not that black, right. So then though he has these hands right and everything he touches in grips, it sticks to his hands. It's good coverage, right by Jalen Ramsey it's a depot and the Andre Hopkins is arms, right? He's. Arm's way out here catches the ball in one hand and to be disrespectful about it. He never touches it. With the other hand, he's pointing in the crowd. With the same left hand. He catches the ball in what he can do with the lack of space is for nominal playing against a guy like Jila ranch. When we talk about the best receivers in the sport, his name never comes up and it should, and it should absolutely should explaining the tweet sportscenter by the way coming your way tonight, six o'clock eastern after PTI was sage in heaven. They got World Series game one predictions. We'll be talking about LeBron at thriller last night against San Antonio and Kirk feats one loss team projections, which team with a defeat as the best chance to get in all that and more sports on it tonight after PTI on ESPN and the ESPN app warning, the wire is brought to you by Subaru. No need to explore the wire for a white out. If you had del last night, he had twenty point two fantasy points in standard leagues for the guys. You. Should be on the lookout for. Meanwhile, here's Matthew berry. A tough week for streaming quarterbacks. My top add Joe flacco revamped wide receiver group Baltimore's passing tip. Looking better at it hasn't quite some time blackout over two hundred seventy five passing yards and five is last six. He's adding a career high forty three passengers per game. The season while the match up with Carolina is an amazing. This is actually allowed the six air yards per pass tempest season. So plateau could have some success with a deep ball in this one lactobacillus over sixty five percents of ESPN league by top running back at this week Oakland's Jalen Rashard marshawn Lynch, injured Amari Cooper out the door. The raiders will use some combination of Doug Martin and Rashard in the backfield the believe we're charged. The receiving upside gives them more valium PR format, shark Arias, four games this season with six catches he's being targeted twenty two percent of his route. That's the highest rate among all players. This entire season expect that trend to continue this week against the colts team is up. The second most perceptions posing running back chart available in over eighty two. Percent of the, it's been leagues. I like more than Doug Martin and keep moving. Charlie, we're onto wide receivers. Chris Godwin Belmont over fifty seven league by the way he scored double digit fantasy points in all the one game this year. Certainly somebody that should be asked if you're needing some help. But if you're looking for deeply option this week about Danny amendola coming off a season, high eighty four yards against the lions and the two games with Brock Osweiler amendola fourteen catches being target on twenty three percent of routes those Albert Wilson and Kenny stills banged up. I've amendola see plenty of Thursday night against the Texas. Want the best fantasy football advice or just, you know, see a grown man talk to puppets the mature to check out. The fantasy showed screaming all season long exclusively on ESPN plus. All right man through thank you coming up. The Cowboys addressed a glaring need, acquiring Amari Cooper from the raiders. We will ask Stephen evading, a Star Achiever fixes all the problems for the team with stars on their helmets. That's next. We're back on get up. And if you take a look at the numbers on Matt Ryan, whose falcons beat the giants on Monday night football last night, you look at the numbers on the right. That's this season on the left is the year. He was MVP the league two years ago, his numbers this year, just as good, maybe better. He's playing just as well team, not winning at quite the same clip, but with the wind last night they play their way back into. And so Ryan Clark with me all morning long, he'd be a little taste of what Matt Ryan is doing. So this is a very common thing in here. When you get both receivers inside the number, you expect what's called a zombie route. We'll Calvin really would come here and go across the formation and then you were sitting hold on the post now the thing you do right, right now, Riley will holler zombies zombie. He's the safety in the middle of the field. So now he goes out of the middle of the take this guy, and he li- alpha pushes over to the top to give inside help to juniors GECAS. Now we're going to see the play fold and wash thieves are keys Dowd this perfectly. Now we see. Here you get Kelvin Ridley who goes across the fort Mason here and we're going to leave home it out to the flag. What it does is it doesn't allow ally apple to understand he needs to push over the top because they're now sitting Hoover across the middle Riley's going to do the same thing. He's going to do the right thing which is come out of the middle to take guy, but because of the design ally, alcohol is here to go out this point. Jurors GECAS expecting help over the top. He doesn't get it because of the design and the way to play unfolds and obviously hall has open way to to the end zone and he can throw it away from Jesus. This is a great design, great execution. This is knowing what you're going to get an side and executing of the play action. We gave you the stat earlier. Ryan was thirteen out of fourteen on play action last night. They had that running game working and it really helped those ability to throw it. Absolutely. But also the play actually gives him time to get the ball down the field and even without devante Freeman, they found ways to do that and they done it every game since the philadel-. Ige was opened the season against their will say it again, the falcons have had a tough schedule. They've lost a couple of tough games, but if there's one team that's under five hundred that you could see playing their way back into the playoffs. This year, I've put my money on them. My brother fever, they won't. You call them a spill. The both championships teams often about how I dress watch amount versus how you may. I see how it depends on what they call. This can never control this segment. During the road that might be one of the most asinine thing. Thank you. Good is not the subject only. What were you brought up. That's right. You ready to do deserve. We have missed this channel. Money is made his way back from Los Angeles Red Eye last night. If I'm not mistaken, Stephen ear, yeah, I'm sleep deprived, but I must say my protege, my my young whippersnapper over there, Ryan clogged breaking it down for you. I was so proud so proud. So, and I've taught him a lot about put ball today, so it's working out pretty well. All right. Let's let's let's get you guys into this here. We've spent a lot of time this morning on the LeBron game last night, and that's pretty much what they're called at this point Lakers in the Spurs their own three. They got two of their best players. Important players suspended, not sure how much worse it could've started than this. How would you characterize the level of concern? Well, I'm not that concern. Believe it or not. I'm not that concerned at all. And I know that everybody is recognizing that Ryan Clark reminded me this morning to my prediction, how y'all we're talking about me and that morning meeting. I'm not fading for my prediction and one bit. I will tell you this. We haven't had an opportunity to talk about those suspensions. Actually, Brandon Ingram deserve ten games. I thought Rondo deserved fifteen games you spent somebody's face that is as a grievous as it gets. The reverse. You actually said Ingram, fifteen and Rondo. Well, I felt riding reverse, but you know, because the spitting, that's all of this one way or another that they were like. That's very light. Having said all of that, let me say this about the Los Angeles Lakers. I love how they lost to San Antonio last night in disrespect. Cow coups my had to come into that lineup because Brandon Ingram was out dropped. Thirty seven fifteen at twenty five shooting for the field. I'm paying attention to this guy because unlike Magic Johnson who came, I take last week and talk to us about what his belief visit, Brandon Ingram, common, Carl Kuhn, Magai Josh heart guy who dropped twenty and ten last night. Now the defense has not existed. We recognize that that's a problem. Luke Walton has got to find a way to fix that and you'd better do something about it. But in the end, watching these guys looking at heart and looking at coups more the Lakers need shooters and I don't understand Jalen how in God's name is Jamal Crawford on the Phoenix sense for two point, three million dollars when you had an. To get in the Los Angeles Lakers. I don't understand that what they have so many guards that they need to give minutes to. Now you talked about how heart and coups mar benefit will LeBron I agree with you, you can't. You don't have any room for Jamal. You're trying to play Casey p and you still trying to give minutes to ball, but let me go back to some. You said you liked the way the Lakers lost yet in terms of the offense. Pensively just put points on the boyfriend of parameter. That's all. I'm you do realize their best player was on the free throw line and missed two free throws do okay. That's not good, terrible timeout because he's going to have the ball in his hand on a nightly code on a chance on I was I was asking me about best player. I'm just saying it's not a surprise to me will LeBron at the free throw LA because he's a seventy three percent shoot for the free throw line. I always tell people, he's not choking when he's at the free throw line. He's never sure thing at the frito Lanka ever. Okay. Now not only have the Lakers lost three games by the way, they happen to lose three games to people who actually play in the Western Conference in Portland like Houston and like the Spurs playoff. All three of those teams will be in the playoffs. And you know where I'm going here. Sure. Those are the guys that probably are six, seven and eight battle-tested. Those are people are going to be in the conversation. So as you start our own three and you're dealing with suspensions of your squad. This is why talked about the Lakers needing to get off to a good start because three through now, we're only successful rated by two games and I know they'll be in the playoff, but the last one I'm trying to make to you is they might get your Golden State Warriors in the first round there Nuff. Obviously, I'm not in a position of strength. This. Buddha fee. This right now, they are only three. They didn't lose the three playoff teams. All right. To start up to watch. That's right. How about that? But his complaints, let me say that, but I will say this to you. I unlike the rest of y'all didn't feel it was that important to get off to a strong Scott. I noted Lakers are going to have their trouble early in the season. I noted the league's is going to have their troubles during the season. My prediction is, is that come playoff time. The only team that will be able to knock them off in the Western Conference is the Golden State Warriors because I believe wants to play offs arrived. LeBron will have these boys ready to roll. Right? He'll be talking crazy about that on. I hate coming up in fifteen minutes. Let me get your take on one other thing. You're this morning Cowboys. Make a huge trade yesterday. They acquire Amari Cooper for first time pick from the raider. Yeah, he said, I love it. I love it. I love it because I think my recoup good ball, not think that you know his struggles has been a combination of. Of Derek Carr, and the loaded version of Derek Carr. Everybody's in bloviating about him acting like he's all pro or whatever. He's got some things to prove and the new system and listen for what I've been told by folks out there. Jon Gruden has been a real turn off for a lot of folks out there in terms of the new regime. He's inserted himself into the question. He's the one hundred million dollar man. He's the boss and the vision that he has in a way that he wants to do things. You've got some Turner strife within that rate is organization. I think Mari Cooper basically has received some of the backlash because of all of that. I think a fresh dot in Dallas helps. I think he's far better than these giving credit for. He has struggled the last year. So for that he was injured but they had to all procedures with over a thousand yards. He didn't forget how to play. He wasn't drafted high in the first round for nothing, and he's clearly going to be the number one receiver for the Dallas Cowboys which to me the pressure antimony on Amari Cooper, the pressures on that Prescott because you've got copiously. There. He got Zeke Elliott there. There's been questioned. You got receiver saying we're open, you know, they should be running the ball. You had the Washington Redskins stack in the box greening not just with eight on a couple of occasions. I thought ten guys in the box. They would daring that Prescott to throw a football. You know what a defense must think of you if they're gonna stack ten men on the box and say, we got individuals solo coverage, handle it because we're not worried about you. That's a bad thing. So him having Amari Cooper, we don't see what you love that the Conway's did a great addition. I'm pretty sure you appreciate their fandom enthusiastic. Well, the fan base is fide up. They are like Amari Cooper, I like their players, but there's always a black cat running around the Cowboys organization. What can go wrong will go wrong. This is who they are. And by the way, I don't have a problem with those Cowboys fans. You know, I can't stand the most disgusting nauseating fan base in American history. Me sick. I can't cowboy fans. Did you know you brought that up on purpose because you you say some just came to mind who's going to win the college football championship this year Taliban, who's going to win the World Series next year next year? Yeah. Well, I'm going to go with my Yankees until proven otherwise. That's why you don't like Cowboys fans and just like, oh, excuse me. Just like it's just not came to me. There's not thinking about explained because because that's a blasphemous. You can't just answer the question and you just happen to be a Pittsburgh Steelers fan and a giants fan. But yet in a couple of weeks and you're gonna be, we're doing the show. I'm not in Dallas that wasn't my call. I am humbled enough to acknowledge. I have bosses. Dave Robinson may Dekel. It wasn't me. Donaldson y'all going to Pittsburgh doing no show. It was gonna Dallas every time it was not me. And by the way we went forth worth last year, which was a mistake if you don't be Dallas Dallas. But let me be very, very clear. I have no problem going to Dallas and look and fans in the face and saying y'all kick rocks are can't stand jaw and I'm coming to Dallas just the teller. I can't stand job care about Dallas cowboy fans. Okay. Well, we're going to leave it there. We've got Stephen coming up in eleven minutes with first taking everything good to see you. Thank you games into his career. One name that I fans will always comparing him to. I'll tell you what was the number one training Catholic? And I woke up this morning. Has. Get up is brought to you by PlayStation store. You won't believe Watson store. Basketball love story continues tonight. It's brought to you by Geico. Here's a sneak peek in. Tonight's episodes five and six, which are at seven eastern on ESPN and the ESPN app. Brady players have would be can't teach inane field for the game. That's a sign of greatness. The critically acclaimed television event continues people received things before they happen. Some of the things that are jaw-dropping. We'll have the great ones, the geniuses, they know how. That is tonight basketball, a love story tonight episodes five and six, seven and nine eastern on ESPN and you can see it all on the ESPN. Are we heard him say the words basketball genius in there. Who do you consider to be a basketball genius? If I just hear that phrase Magic Johnson. That comes to mind because here's a guy in his rookie year, jumped center been only six, nine point guard to accomplish what he's accomplished. And by the way, he's transferred that in the business part ownership with the Lakers part ownership of the dodgers all of those situations abyss successful. I mean, I'm fainted his guy, but I believe Kobe Bryant one because of the way his game progressed over his career. We've obviously got to see him explained basketball through his show detail in the playoffs and also the fact that he could communicate it and teach it to younger players. It's one thing to be able to do something, but baby communicated in a way with others can learn. It talks about how much you have graphs that concept. Now, Jessica, I wanna put you on the spot here because you are the Los Angelino in this group. And I have this thing. All right. Thank you. Know Angelina excuse me, super loss atas with our arms just now too. Brought up Ryan just brought up Kobe. Okay, so I have to have this explain to me. Okay. Show me LeBron's night last night. Okay. LeBron James, he is the super acquisition of the Lakers, right? He had a huge scored thirty two points, eight rebounds, fourteen assists right. He's knocks down this clutch three at the end of regulation to bring his team all the way back from where they had been way behind. Knock that down to send it into overtime playing without two of his best players are suspended. Then he misses a couple of foul shots and they wind up losing the game. So Jessica, I wake up this morning the number one trending topic on Twitter. When I woke up this morning is the word Kobe and I click on it and it is literally a never ending series of tweets from Laker fan saying, Kobe wouldn't have missed those foul shots. Kobe, we're gonna miss those shots. He's not Kobe Bryant. Can you explain this force as those are? Kobe fans this hiker the Kobe, but what is that? Okay, I'm not claiming that those people are from Los Angeles. I think those are just literally because I'm from LA. I grew up Magic Johnson will Chamberlain. I mean, you go down the line Mel, dude, you're bar. That is when I think about Lakers it's not Kuby Bryant. I appreciate everything that he is done within the Lakers. But if you're going to go number one, when I think about Lakers, those are Kobe fans don't don't put it on my city. Well, first of all, the fact that she said what she thinks Lakers doesn't think about Kobe. Bryant brings me to a favorite Stephen worried. It's just blasphemous. Okay. For for me, I'll be honest. I am a Kobe fan and when Kobe was in LA I was a Laker fan, but it was all about Kobe. And the one thing you've had to defend about Colby throughout his career, especially when he was at the top of his game was, was he better than LeBron? I think they could have been a ton of players come to LA that this wouldn't happen to even if they were great players, but Kobe fans are going to feel like at every stance they gotta show that he's better. This is a perfect dichotomy. You have somebody from Los Angeles feeling one way you have somebody now from Los Angeles villainy a different way. And those are the people usually that are sending the tweet. Here's brand is larger than just one player. Kobe. Bryant happened to invite that recently because he was there for two decades and he just missed the social media air. So he almost gets that urban legend is with. I would argue there are Kobe fans that are Laker fans anymore. They were Laker fans when it was Kobe Bryant, and now clearly there watching the Lakers and all these still see is worse Kobe, whereas absolutely. And that's how I watch him for sure. See, that's unbelievable to me because when Kobe Bryant came, I don't remember a whole bunch of, well, he's no Magic Johnson stuff going on and Corinne got there. I'm old enough to remember when that happened, and I don't remember a whole lot of. He's not Wilt Chamberlain stuff. This seems to be something very unique. Kobe has been treated and look. I love them these one of the greatest players of all time. No one is disputing that, but there is a difference in the way people for some reason attach themselves to him than practically any other. This didn't happen with Michael Jordan in Chicago. They feel like they watched him grow up and also called me was a dynamic player to gave you a while factor lose in Oz, the moments that you were like, wow, just breathtaking brave. Breathtaking by the place was also felt like you felt like you love, Colby, and the only people that were with you was the people that love Koby like everybody out Magic Johnson was loved by everyone. Hobie never had always had to fight for the the part of this. I wonder if I'm LeBron how I'm feeling about that. Like I mean, what I get myself into here, four years of he's not Koby. That would kind of. Now the you embrace LeBron and try to put him up there with someone agree Lakers not yet. He's got to prove himself in a Laker drew Laker fan. That's not what you've done before. It's what you do in this uniform. Jessica Minoza will be whether throughout the baseball World Series court starts tonight at Fenway park votes that are thankful me tomorrow, and I wanna thanks for. Point. The right hire can make a huge impact on your business. That's why it's so important to find the right person. But where do you find that individual Lincoln, Lincoln jobs, manches people to your role based on more of who they really are there skills interests and even how open they are to new opportunities. That's why new hires made every ten seconds easing Lincoln hurry to Lincoln dot com. Slash get up for fifty dollars off your first job post. That's Lincoln dot com. Slash up terms and conditions apply.

Los Angeles Lakers Matt Ryan LeBron Amari Cooper football ESPN Spurs giants basketball falcons raiders Dallas dodgers Clayton Kershaw NFL Red Sox Blake Bortles Nicotine Ryan Clark
Quarantine Book Club: Michelle Remembers (Week 3)

You're Wrong About...

1:01:23 hr | 9 months ago

Quarantine Book Club: Michelle Remembers (Week 3)

"I feel like I said interesting in a way that I like wanted to be understood as derogatory. Which is the most midwestern passive aggressive? I've ever been welcome to your wrong about the podcast. Where historical myths get the Sheepskin? Coat of hindsight's ooh that means we warmed them and make them cozy. That was a long pause. I'm sorry I could have done better. I feel like you often have a fanatic. Metaphor there so clunky. They're implies that our show is doing something that I find confusing and troubling. I don't think it really works as a metaphor but I just wanted to say sheepskin coat because that was in the last episode. I think you really want to work in the theme. Yeah rather than coherence. This is certainly well as a professional writer who are by far the most professional writer. I know so. I can't methodology really Michael hops. I'm a reporter for the Huffington Post. I am Sarah Marshall. I'm working on a book about the Satanic Panic and as such am leading you on a four part guarany through one of my cortex which is Michelle remembers and today is part three. Yes welcome and we are on patriotic at Dot Com slash. You're wrong about and pay Powell and T. shirt store and lots of other places with links in the description and we just want to reiterate that we know it's weird out there and if you don't want to support us that's fine too and also if you want to partake of all of our weird content that we're trying out. Please do that. Also his worry trying out some fun stuff to give to you to keep you company while you're soaking your beans and yes today. Were on part. Three of our journey through Michelle remembers the Satanic Panic patient zero from nineteen eighty. Mike I would really like this point to tell us a little bit about your guarany with tax because when God because when I first started recording episode one about this. You're like is the feel like your hands on deck. Now you're yes full steam ahead with with the Michelle Project and so what? What made a convert of you? I mean I guess just because it's so outlandishly not true and it seems like a large number of people thought that it was true. There's something weird about. I think this happens a lot. Where a work of fiction begins a panic and then once the panic becomes this like rolling snowball people forget the actual content of the thing that started that. Seems like the first thing that gets cast away on senator. Because this is the basis for the satanic panic which was a nearly decade-long moral panic well over a decade a decade long and. You could make the argument that it's not really over the same way that like it's like when did the AIDS epidemic and it's like well never yeah. I was actually thinking when I was listening to last week's episode like I don't want us to come off harsh. Yeah I was thinking the same thing because in general we've said many times on the show that like other people's relationships are not any of my business and relationships that span age and class or doctor patient like people do not get to choose the way that they fall in love with other people. Like as a Gabor's and I understand that very deeply and I can actually imagine a scenario of a doctor getting feelings for their patient and a patient getting feelings for their doctor and acting on those feelings in like an ethical way. Like imagine somebody saying like Hey. A bond between us is forming doctor patient. And I'm going to recuse myself from your therapist. And Yeah then. I'm going to wait two weeks and then I'm gonNA call you and like. Let's try rebooting this as a romantic relationships. I'm sure there's relationships that have started that way in the same way. There are teacher student relationships that have started that way and have been done in the ethical way. Yeah and maybe that's what these people did. We don't know it's weird that he's giving her his caca well. I think the reason why I'm not cutting these two particular people more slack is because we know that there are other things that they are lying about. We know that there are illusions in the transcript where we're not seeing the ways in which he is coaching her. That's also another tell that they didn't think that this was inappropriate or that. There's something that they don't want the of this book to know. Because if this book described Dr Pastor saying look I started to develop romantic feelings for Michelle. I realized that was slightly inappropriate. I asked my colleague. What's the most ethical way to proceed? Yeah that actually seems fine like whatever we're all people feelings happen but that isn't what they're describing this book. Yes it's very uncomfortable. I was listening to our last episode and I was like you know something. We need to emphasize more and that has become clear to me. The deeper we get into sort of the lake nap of story is that the more I think about it. The more I'm like can there be meaningful consent between someone who's receiving therapy and someone who's administering therapy and the more you think about it. The less I think there can be because and especially because this therapy is so focused on him regressing her to the experience of being a young child. Now so it's it's yeah. It's hard not to be tough on this Book Because It unwittingly wrought incalculable harm and it was because these two people just weren't able to be honest with themselves about what they were feeling and then as a result can't be honest about it and in a way it's hard to fault them because relate. I can tell you're doing your best but Let's dive back in where Where should we re enter this nightmare? That you're making me live through a whole. Can you tell us about what has happened so far? Give us a quick like where. Where did we leave these? These people we left when pastor was on vacation with his wife and Michelle was using the tape recorder to record her long monologues and missing him. Yeah and she's been saying that she can't let divisions come back all the way when Dr Pastor is in Mexico right because she's too scared Brett. How was your day at Ham? How was your day at Camp Oh 'cause you WANNA bring us back to this metaphor. Yeah we're back. In summer camp. We went kayaking and we saw more goods. And tonight. We're GONNA play truth there but you don't know about it. 'cause you're the camp counselor all right. It's a beautiful night at camp. There's kind a mossy smelling the air camp in my head is in the northwest and let us commence chapter nine. When Dr Pastor and his wife returned from Mexico they found themselves a guest of honor at a surprise party the host with their four children three sons and a daughter Theresa Doctor Pastor set aside four days to be with the children and to work with Michelle Obama. Go zooming the rest of his practice for the record. I plan to continue being harsh on these people just just so they start the session and Michelle says something that really has to be said today. I'm not sure what it is. It's something to do with time that she was going to say something new with Ethics Yours. Anyway sorry and so. Michelle basically is telling Dr Pastor like yeah. I was continuing to relive the events of Christmas and new years while you were away. And he says that's why nears you scared me so much the night. I I called you. I had the strongest feeling that it was more the end than the beginning. I can't explain he going. I felt I was going to die. Really die I know you did. It was something that happened something to do with. Michelle turn twisted on the couch. Something to do with my mother. The language about feeling like she's going to die is going to recover and become more frequent as this but goes on which makes me wonder what. Michelle is experiencing. One of the things I feel is that like I can imagine that being caused by her experiencing like a panic attack is that that can feel like you're going to die like shortness of breath and guess lake racing pulse. I mean the point of all this is that this all seems painful for her. This is one of the things at Thomas Congdon. The publisher talks about in the forward. He's like well she can't have been doing. This is like cheap huckster trying to get money like this is an awful experience in. It's like yeah I do not doubt that This obviously isn't a calculated ploy on her part right like she doesn't want to be in pain yet. Yes so Michelle is in the hospital and this woman comes in and says Michelle. I'm your special nurse and I was so happy and open my eyes and I saw pretty lady all dressed in white. I recognized her. She was that lady. The lady the one who'd been at the House the night in the lump was killed awaiting the black cloak crew. Did those things to me with the colored sticks. She gets one around the room. Tidying up she went over to the wall and said you won't be needing this crucifix anymore and she took the wooden thing down from the wall. Doctor Pastor went Pale. Whoever these people were Michelle's tormentors they were not ordinary cultists and Michelle cry for and then says I can't take anymore. I didn't want to try anymore. I just gave up as going to die anyway. I didn't matter to anybody. She pauses and she says but I must have mattered if they wanted me dead you matter. Dr Paisley said a very great deal at this point. They're really starting to conclude. That lay memory is customer rushing out of her as fast as they can receive it and that for as long as they he per under. He's going to have more stuff to talk about his getting. You know it's intruding on her daily thoughts. It's clearly you know. She's crying all the time right. David locked something. Yeah that's they're feeling they're like we've unlocked something and we have to let it come out until we've like purged you of it. Well I mean like so many other things the metaphor that we use for something guides what we do about it and so it's interesting that they have this metaphor of like there's something in you that you have to release and I have read studies on this that this whole idea of sort of like venting your feelings and like I'm sorry. I just have to vent to you at the end of a long day. The metaphor that we use for that as venting. There's something inside of us that we need to release but the better metaphor for that habit that when you come home at the end of a long day you're forming a habit of ranting to your partner or whoever about the terrible. Outta THE TABLE BOSS. You have at a terrible job or whatever and so. It's actually not the case that when we have pent up emotions just ranting and raving about them for fifteen or twenty minutes actually makes us feel better because we're using the wrong metaphor and so it seems like they're doing the same thing where they've decided that the metaphor is there's all these terrible memories and because it's like she's a jug that's two full of water and if we just pour some of it out she'll feel better. It's not clear to me that that's the correct metaphor to be using about the way trauma works even if she had experienced this. Oh yeah and I feel like Dr Pastor is like big Anthony and Strega. Nona you ever read that book when you're a kid sister again. Ona's Italian witch. Who has a Magic Pasta Pot and you say as fell to get it to make magic pasta out of nowhere and then to get it to stop making pasta? You say this fell again. And then he blew three kisses and so big. Anthony is like the sort of kid lake character and the premise of the book is that he decides to turn on her Magic Pasta pod and then he tries to say this fell to make it stop but what he doesn't realize because he has an observed closely enough as it you have to three kisses and so the entire town is engulfed in pasta. And that's the story of this book. Doctor believes himself to be responsible practitioner of psychotherapy. He says the spell. He doesn't truly know what he's doing and North America's engulfed in Pasta. The Pasta is wrongful. Convictions she says it was New Year's Eve. And then there's a footnote that says the date strain a hospital experience or uncertain that later became clear that Malachi the nurse and the others were using a calendar year. That differed from the ordinary. It appears possible that their New Year's Day was the Thirteenth Day of thirteenth month. That is Kan. And again what basis? And they have any reason. Yes is the problem too. Because like actual satanists of the Rosemary's baby variety like actual satanists of the kind that don't exist. Yes can't be reached for comment right right so you can get sort of make stuff up and be like. Maybe they're seeing thirteen thirteenth thirteenth month. I mean obviously that seems plausible to kind of shut. They pull his we invented the. It's also weird that like as a doctor who presumably has J. Store access that he's not just looking up academic articles on Satanists but Mike on the other hand. Dr Jasser has been to Africa one. I know tinder profile Okay so the nurse gives her and Anima which notably is also a component of the book Sybil. Yes that's one of the things that symbols mother does to her and so once again. It's interesting that there is a parallel to an earlier text. Yeah that seems to have influenced this one case. Cops WATCH COPS COPS WATCH COPS. And this book has a blurb by the author of Civil Floor Reading Primer and Thomas Condon when he was preparing to bring this book to press he had a brand new publishing company. He was under a lot of pressure to bring it into the black and civil had been a monster hit in nineteen seventy three and he was getting ready to bring out his first new titles. Putting this work together in the late seventies like this memory would have been very fresh for him. What soul than civil was one of the things that sold repressed memory is so hot right now? It's like verbis and so at the end of this chapter. We gotTA reveal which is her. Mom comes to see her in the hospital. And so in the second second after Dr Pazar Return Michelle dealt with what would prove to be one of the harshest realizations. He would have to confront in the session before when Michelle was relating her mother's dreadful visit to the hospital and then broke off into some semblance of death. Dr Pastor had been stunned by the mention of the mothers quote fiddling with something behind or beside her bed he had to dire thoughts either. The woman was trying to put air into one of the intravenous tubes or she was shutting off the Valve on the tank that supplied oxygen to the plastic tent and the child's smoked scorched lungs cain her depths and later during the period of integration. Michelle went back over the experience. Trying to add details. It was extremely painful for her to face the growing knowledge that her own mother had tried to kill her. So that's the big twist that her mom tried to kill her in the hospital. That's the chapter ending twist. Okay so now we now. We are going to be brought to a fun appendix. So let's do this. Okay chapter ten. Did you listen to see facts? This morning we shall ask Dr Pastor wide eyed. As she was taking off her coat he said he hadn't while they were talking about the Victorian and the different things that are written about in the Victorian. That's a newspaper and the guy. The announcer said black. Magic is being practiced in Victoria and has been for years. And if you want to read about. It got a copy of the Victorian and he was talking about how really shocked him. This cultism by copy Dr Passer. Ask No way but we are treated to a copy of this article as an appendix in this book. Would you like to hear some of it? I was just GONNA say. Please let there be US please. What the so bad he feels safe. Because you're back in your comfort zone of laughing at the news media from forty years ago yes I'm archive material but then this is actually interesting to me. Because what you're saying is the satanic panic hasn't really been invented yet because this book basically does it but there's already murmurs of the press. Well this is one of the big subjects so Satan is alive and well on planet or one of the big arguments is like a ton of witches all over the place to see the planet for this. Oh yeah yeah so. This is an article in the Victorian from January twenty eighth nineteen seventy seven by Paula. June and Paul June rates which is practicing black magic sound like something out of a medieval myth but they are right here story because way to claim to make and second and qualified fashion a newspaper Yeah Satanic Witches who seven the presence of the devil and make human and animal sacrifices for their beliefs. I mean honestly. What kind of standard can we hold? Michelle Doctor Pastor to win. This isn't a newspaper. I know yeah I was just thinking number. Almost one thousand in the capital city says a form of Toria resident who claims he and his wife barely escaped the witches lives. What Len Olsen now living in Vancouver but formerly Victoria where he says he was a member of one of five local groups of witches belong in the Church of Satan of Canada. I love the picture Satan. I love that. It's the cure. Could Satan candidates the franchise disagreed Pete Hill? It's like the Sierra Club of the bay area. Yes the which is could live next door to anyone. Undetected love their meetings were Miraculous Evil. Things calling on the devil chanting about four months after initiation. The Olson's were told of a special meeting at first. I thought it was unusual but at the meeting I became more scared than I've ever been. Before they were holding a sacrifice service around us they tried to kill US Olsen said he grabbed his wife and managed to fight his way out of the meeting. The first place he stopped running at the door of church. I went to see the minister after an hour with him. I filed a report complete with my membership number with Victoria police. Yes that's right. They have membership numbers. Coop card two hours of Satanists work this month. I wonder if you get a discount at rock climbing city police chief. Jack Gregory told the Victorian Thursday that sexual report had been filed but investigations turned up. Nothing which is a great place to say that in the late seventeen paragraphs into it. They're still in Victoria. Said Olsen. Every time I make a trip to Victoria I see at least a dozen of the witches. Many of them are prominent business people during the daytime. They can't be picked out from everyone else. They're peddler where the man who tries to bring. A new members is a long haired hippie type character who carries a Bible under one arm. His method of enticing new members is to try and sell the white or good which routine you know white witches. It's just a front and for the most part they're after young girls. Wow this man like filed. This article on his editor was like looks good yet. It's based one hundred percent on the ravings of some random dude. That guy named Len you know I mean I think it's a nice distillation of moral panic thinking right because it's got all of the elements it's got they are everywhere and yet you can't see them because they look like hippies and they're caring Bible so there's no way you'd never recognize them. It's it could happen to anyone because we were lured into this church. Us normal suburban people. It's they are targeting young innocence including young girls. Like it's the perfect little neopolitan scoop of things that go into moral panics. It is all the flavors are represented and Michelle is like. Her therapist has her in this narrative and then the news is supporting it and like what is she supposed to do? Honestly it's so weird that we're sitting here on a Sunday morning deep in quarantine working ourselves up into anger about a forty year old book. It's such a weird way to spend the morning this is. This is the most normal that I feel in my life at home. Doing this happened forty years ago. It's great forty. Years is not very long and we're still living in the world but was created impart on this couch yet. That's true actually. Okay so we get another vision. Tang so now. We're told that they go to the graveyard. She is put in a little ninety and the nurse takes her to a grave that has a crack and the gravestone and in photos in this book. We are hopefully shown a grave at Ross Bay Cemetery. That also has a cracking. It were as I'm sure you know kind of something that happens to gravestones are lot. Yeah I love the things that pass for evidence in these books. It's like it's like you take the least implausible part of the story. And you're like look grazed. Really do have cracks in them so that rested. This book must be true. Yeah this is. Some of the evidence given as readers takes her to this grave and she seemed to be able to move a piece of it away because this lady must be strong players an empty hole there and so she throws Michelle in the grave and then puts the gravestone back where it was Michelle's trapped in the grave. It was all monkey on my feet. I thought it was somebody all rotten down there and that I was standing on them and then eventually they pull her out of the grave. And then we're told the scene abruptly change to another part of the graveyard. It's like okay so it's a dream it's just like you can't because we like and then there was a horizontal White Ryan. Michelle was in a Moslem touted. She get there right so now. We're in a mausoleum they do. Another ritual the nurse does a ritualized birth with Michelle. She pretends to give birth to her a lot of birth imagery. They force her to eat ashes. Which Michelle has a feeling are the ashes of the lump? The lady who got killed the lady with the red shoes and at the end of all this we learn that. Michelle surface extremely upset. The graveyard experiences were nearly impossible to accept. I don't know how I've lived with that for all this time. She said three years. I don't know I know Dr. Pastor said his voice choked it's terrible to hear it. I mean they. I shouldn't be laughing but it's like they keep hinting at the fact that like this sounds really fucking implausible at like. I'm sorry this sounds bananas but the doctor keeps being like yeah it. Does it really happened? It's painful because you're like the answer is so within your reach that you are expressing it without knowing what you're doing it's like once again. I return to my favorite metaphor. It's like watching someone take a bite out of a string cheese like this didn't need to have. Apparently it did because it happened. Yeah there's something I mean. They say the best way to convince somebody of your argument is to admit the weaknesses yourself because that gains credibility and so partly the project here. I think is to sort of acknowledge that I got. We know it sounds crazy. But it must have happened because it's repressed memory therapy and we all know repressed memory. Therapy is way true. Earth like memories. And there's this argument that it's like more plausible because it's so crazy. Well yes like it. Sounds unbelievable but that's proof that it's a real memory because why would you make something up if that wiles and that implausible and it's you know and that argument creates a false finery that allows it to circumvent possibility of like. She doesn't know she's making it up. She's like is this real and over and over again. Her therapist is like IAFRIKA. Sure Yan reinforcing her. Yeah and so she returns to the Graveyard memories after several sessions. The book says she talks about her mother. Who like her feelings about her? Mother are the emotional core of all this buried the part that feel truly the most painful but most authentic partha seemed to cause her the most distress over and over again and in remembering her mother. Says I don't want you and she says I didn't like her. She wasn't a mother anymore. She said he didn't love me and there wasn't any part of me that was part of her and I was to go be that other ladies. I couldn't stand how much my heart hurt. And she is seems to be talking to her mother and she says please keep me. Please keep me. I don't care if you don't love me. Just keep me or God. Do we know much about her relationship with her mother? Does I know. There's like a biographical chapter of her. But yeah does it say much about her mother being cruel in other ways or like I mean. They were in therapy for four years so they would have discussed her relationship with her mother to me. It seems entirely plausible that whatever. Her relationship with her mother was contained sufficient emotional trauma you know and then especially coupled with her mother's early death to give her these feelings of loss and rejection and grief and motherless snus that needed to be worked through and feeling of being unloved and unlovable and needing to feel fully accepted by someone and I feel like Dr Pastor became that person. Did you say her mother died when she was fourteen? That's what the book says okay. We know that it's true that her mother died when she was a teenager. But yeah what's interesting too. Is that if you lose your mother when you're a teenager you don't WanNa like process the ways that she might have been aloof or might not have been so nourishing to you or might not have been a great mom because she just died and you're devastated by the fact that your mom just died and so part of this might be a way of processing like my mom wasn't a great mom but I wasn't able to sort of see her as that whole person when I was whatever fifteen or sixteen or fourteen when her mom died Yeah and also having these feelings of grief and of anger that you need to work through and that you didn't allow yourself to or weren't able to with the resources you had getting much better therapy from us. And she was a pastor. Just WanNa say you're a fucking cracking it. Sarah okay. All right chapter eleven starts with a bang. These things do exist in the world. Dr Pazar knew that from his own experience in Africa he had encountered beliefs and practices. That had he not observed directly he would not have believed with humanity sacrifices cannibalism Nokia of every that responded conceivably complex psychological or medical requirements. It's interesting that this book is you know so occupied with other pursuits. That we haven't even really had time to talk about how racist it is. He mean my God. Where is he getting the shit? He's like well in Africa. People do just don't behave like human beings. Yeah it's also so fucking funny how he's trying to repackage these hundred year old abysmal stereotypes about black people in Africa doing cannibalism. As like what I saw in Africa was a lot of Canada. No you fuck. You're just repeating that you have in your head and pretending that they're from personal sort of field work that you did. Well I want to spoil or kind of skip ahead also to like the the most terrible like well and Africa. Fang is footnote your Pazar for some reason is like that reminds me of a leper children of this tribe and elaborate. Children are feral children. That are kept living in cages. And they have their teeth filed down and they walk on all fours and they can't stand up and they're used as assassins what to which I would just like to respond. Why would you use a traumatize to see? Eld feral child as an assassin which is like a difficult job and also like his can't walk on all fours like even Edgar Rice burroughs was like Tarzan will walk around by Peterle because humans can't comfortably get around because we've lost that ability. There's just like no. I mean it's almost like it's so perfunctory. Debunk these things. Because they're so on their face not true but if somebody told you this about like Mormons in Utah do this. You'd be like well. Fuck no because you have installed in your brain like firm where the basic humanity of Mormons and it's only when somebody is describing this about a population that fundamentally do not believe our people Africa that you're like. Yeah that sounds totally plausible like. Yeah this is thing that makes no sense. It's this incredible cell phone. It's like Louis Pastor at some point during this weird leg Victorian Racist Myth and that's the kind of logic that you are capable of grasping. Yeah yes how we hear about that. And then we get into more of Dr Pazar thinking of applause. Ability of all this and concluding. It's totally plausible conclusion. It's chill. He entertained his and felt fine. Don't you pass a reflected once again that he already seen the hill very well? After four years of psychotherapy hoax fantasy made no sense in terms of what he knew and he knew a very great deal about her personality. Lots of people had preoccupation with the occult with death with the Weird but not Michelle. Nor could he imagine that she was feeding his own predispositions? They've never discussed his sojourns Africa. He'd never told her of the strange things he's seen and it's like why do you think you've seen anything that's interesting too because it's like it's like you can tell there's a real lack of here because he sort of merging these two big areas of superstition where it's like the idea of the tribal which if like okay if something is scary because it's old and it's African than it probably is from a time and place where q Deo? Christianity isn't around as a cultural influence. And that's why it's scary to you so that wouldn't be a part or maybe she read the same shitty. Hardie boys level fiction that you read about Africa and she's like yeah they do this in Africa like you. You're making it up to without realizing you're making it up again. I'm GonNa continue being harsh on these people. I feel comfortable. And then we learn he had been spending more and more time with Michelle often as much as six hours a day. Oh my God. They're working postures had evolved to. They seldom used the SOFA. It was not stable enough for the shaking and trembling that Michelle Wan. Who is she relive? They had moved to the Mat. Sometimes doctor pastor would sit on the floor beside it at other times. He would lie back a pillow under his head. It was the only way to work considering that this Atkins off and on now for five or six hours. No one can sit next year. That long in his his they can he can do. That's called work. Yes most days. Yes talk to you a bus driver. It is great though the way that they keep like self owning in the text of this book. As if it's something that we should all admire like they're describing the relationship between patient and doctor becoming wildly more inappropriate and we're all supposed to be like. Wow He really cares about his patient. It's just like constant a wounded noises split. Look at this extraordinary man who can sit here for six hours and is getting like lying down on their backs next to each other parallel. It's Fucking Eternal Sunshine is spotless. Mind and like she's shaking and he's like their comforting in their cuddling and it's like hello. Why are you telling us this is if we should all be in awe of your genius or whatever. I just think you're a dirtbag. Yeah and that's what makes it so extraordinary. Is that all of the stuff that is being described to us that you and I reading this now or like ooh. I don't like that were being told to us in this way of like and they made this other great decision you know and also wired you session six hours long. It's like what is he doing with this other patients. It's clear that this is taking over his life in a way. That is not very healthy. Yeah and just like what else is going on outside of these sessions for both of them. That's one of the things. I'm most curious about where is doug this? Is Doug erasure so we go into chapter twelve? Michelle is once again regress surprise and she's in some kind of a room some kind of space that he is going to be in for much of the rest of the book and she describes a hideous white statue considerably bigger than Malachi had the form of a man with openings for eyes and a mouth but with horns protruding from the top of its head. It stood on stage like area at the front of the round room can and then meanwhile the nurse white some candles gotta light some candles and then she takes a human finger and rubs it on the stack shoes to put blood on it and tells Michelle that they're going to bring the Statute Khalife dry sure. So now the Satanists are hanging out with the statue of the devil and they're rubbing body parts on it to get blood on it to make it come alive to like bring back Satan and there's also a different man comes every night with a white kitten dry and then surprise. They sacrifice the white kitten after day. It was the same. She was alone with the nurse during the day and at night one of the others would come Killa White Kitten us. Michelle is appointee thing remember. They point her and throw her to the ground. This happened for thirteen days. Michelle notice because thirteen seem to be their favourite number. It's so hacky like thirteen the unlucky number so like of course of course and then they have a big ritual and Michelle says all. These people are walking into the room in a long line. Everyone's carrying a kitten. I don't like it. I don't like it either Michelle. It's okay to laugh because no kittens were killed in the making of this book just to be very clear. And he sees her mother there and her mother doesn't acknowledge her. She refuses to look at her. And Michelle does the dance that the nurse has apparently been teaching her and spins like a talk. According to the book there's going be electric. Slide is not evil enough then all of a sudden everything in my mom's coming over I knew it. I knew if I was a good enough top. She'd come over and get me. I was standing up in front of the room. Ugly thing and my mother was taking me a fair even though she knew I was afraid of Malachi and the ugly thing with red on it I said he didn't want to be up there then she said really loud and clear so everyone could hear he said you're not mine anymore. Michelle you belong to the devil. Twist and her mom halls are up to the statue and she says I guess they're gonNA kill me now. I mean speaking of racist stereotypes. This seems like something that she's pulled from like old myths about like the ad text doing human sacrifice like there's an altar you think they're pulling her up she's in front of an audience. Yeah and there are other satanic panic books that I've read with Vera like the Aztecs killed like thousands of people a year. And it's like did they go. And then the ritual continues and we have all the sadness they each have their own kitten and then they kill the kittens and then we get one hundred twenty pages N. B. pursed dead baby of our satanic ritual obese story okay and in a way the first satanic sacrifice baby of the whole satanic panic. It's kind of like being the first death in the Friday the thirteenth series right or like the first appears Spiderman. Yeah it's it's like the first appearance of a key. Part of the Smith Reizo Malachi picked up Michelle who is screaming and crying bitterly and later on a stone slab so yeah Mike. I think you're on to something this is very like Narnia on a table behind. Malachi was the body of a baby but so small. Michelle couldn't believe it was really boring. And Michelle says Malachi is coming over by me and then he sang some funny words and smokey stuff's going up in the air. He's crouched over me. He's cutting that baby over me. It's all over me now. He's rubbing it on the white thing. I keep yelling. It's a baby. It's a baby. And she freaks out and Bites Malachi to try and get away and jumps off the slab and his running around and making what she calls. Crazy is at everybody and disrupts the ritual. And can you think of that? I mean this fake but it's fucking gross It's it's very upsetting. Yeah it sucks. And she's having a vision. Where like the sky is cutting up a dead baby and rubbing it all over her body which is like again her someone who restarted therapy because they had a miscarriage. Okay doctor pastor like we have a dead baby and the story now like. Are you going to do anything with that? Or you're just gonNA assume that this literally happened right. That looks like it hasn't been born yet. Yeah there's also the thing of them killing kittens I mean it. Just seems like she's reaching into her subconscious for like the worst things that she can fathom and these are the things right like. What's the worst thing that a person could do killing kittens and killing babies? Sure right and she starts with the killing kittens. You know clearly. They're still like okay. GotTa keep going go and worst Benetton. Okay let's kill some babies. Yeah but this has to be real because I read about it in the Victorian right. It's minutes it's it's really appropriate that a newspaper called the Victoria is talking about you. Which is there are also just like okay this coal because apparently quite big every cultist needs their own white kitten Brett and some lake again. This brings me back to my favorite question to ask about satanic cults. Whose job is this like four. Pm on a Sunday in Victoria. It's kind of a grey day. You're sitting there having a cup of tea and you're like going through the lake pet listings in the newspaper dialing all these numbers calling around being like. Oh any white kittens. No you don't have white ones okay. Never mind yet. Chapter Thirteen was so shocked by what she had remembered her a moment. She wanted to believe she was insane. As she returned to the present she could do nothing but Saab and cry out. What am I going to do? I'm crazy I must be crazy famous. Be Crazy things like that don't happen. I never heard of anything like that. So Leyla traumatic for her. This is bad. Yeah there's also I mean it's the thing of her being. I must be crazy. You must not believe me is just kind of boring at this point killing. This needs more. Tangshan like this this pastor ever say like wow it's weird that a pattern has emerged where every time we put you under you describe something more extreme than the last time and then when you come out here like you must think I'm crazy. You must think I'm stupid. You must not believe me and then I reassure you like Michelle. Were in this pattern. It's kind of boring. I mean that's the thing about how this therapy is. Set up a praxis and like this case study kind of set the template for that is that like of course. Your patient is having a really hard time integrating these memories and believe they happened. That's part of it. That'S TYPICAL O. Of course they have these initial flashes and then they're like no but that kind of really happened. That seems impossible. And like it is your. This is the rhetoric that prevails crumby eighties at his therapists to be like no this did happen will accept that we really in situations like this where the patients themselves are saying like. This sounds a little bananas. You as the doctor are actually supposed to say no this happened. Let's keep going. According to the School of thought yeah and I prayed to the same school of thought the fact that the patient is experiencing tension around this. That's denial that's proof that it happens. Their reluctance once again helps you to arrive at halls. Positive it's a it's it becomes thing we're like any evidence of any kind can be integrated into your theory. That makes you right. It's also weird. Bizarre perversion of the concept of like believe women like believe abuse victims that if it was produced with this methodology of hypnosis or repressed memories or whatever then it has to be authentic that even if the patient themselves starts to reject it. You're like no. We did all the steps right like we did the recipe. We're supposed to do and they're you're not leaving the woman you're believing your cell here. Believe their philosophy and the woman as an instrument right now because this is of course the same culture in the nineteen seventies that is still saying the sexual harassment. At work doesn't exist that is still saying domestic abuse doesn't exist like this is not a culture that all of a sudden is like well. Let's believe women when they come forward with stuff it's only if they come forward in this extremely narrow and specific way about this extremely narrow in specific kind of abuse and Kershaw in a way that empowers therapist. Yeah that makes them the genius like the Indiana Jones discovered this great temple of abuse underneath everything. Yeah Oh God yeah. That is what it sleigh. That's terrible and yet Dr Pastor and the Temple of Abuse God's Okay we've got an X.'s. And coming up so let's sure let's continue. I must have just made it up. Michelle said firmly. This was a possibility that Dr Pastor seriously considered and had ruled out but he knew she had to face her own question. It's like he totally knew what was going on but he was going to let her work it out. I like section Nice Guy I said thoughtfully debut make it up. He asked her directly. What if I made it up in? My mother wasn't like that and she loved me. Michelle went on defiantly not answering his question even with Dr Pastor himself whom she had grown so close to it was hard for her to admit that the scene had really taken place so she was asking him to help her deny it. No why would you make that up? If she had loved you he asked. I don't know said Michelle if I tell you something. We tell me whether or not you believe me yes. Of course I didn't make it up. She said fiercely. Leave you Dr Pastor answered. I don't want to be part of it. She sobbed please. We believe that I'd rather be in a concentration camp for fifty years and there's this recurring theme or she's like please you have to understand. I didn't want those things I didn't want to be a part of it. I feel so guilty. And he's like of course the coal was doing these things. You're not bad but I feel like that guilt. Maybe connects to this feeling. She has of like. Why is my brain making these things something? I can imagine her feeling upset about it whether or not she can articulate to herself as life. Why is it that whenever I go into my subconscious I described these horrible things? Why do I see myself having a dead baby? Rab- dollar her me over it to win. We're D- around my subconscious. Why is this what we keep finding? Yeah and why does this to find me whether as memory or as vacationer whatever than pastors? Here's my coat where my socks who's brave my Cologne keep going well. I mean you're close because we get again. Dr Pazar was struck by the innocence of the Child Michelle. She had remained the innocent child who only wanted her mother to love her. He wished she could see that but they could not work any longer that day. Michelle was too exhausted. They agreed to talk more the next day when she had rested next day this over both of their lives and is completely unhealthy way. Oh Yeah yes I mean you have these. I mean think about how exhausting it is to just record this show for a second the last four hours like that's my day like that's all of my my lease heart the person energy and we're not reliving. Traumas. We're just talking about the eighties yet. Here are Michelle in Lawrence six hours of hurling shaking and screaming and then coming up and be like. Do you believe knees screaming and crying way. It's a lot. They need an adult Sicilian so they go back. Under the next day we learn a pattern had been apparent to Dr Pastor for some time and he was pleased. Michelle was beginning to recognize it. He asked what she thought the white statue symbolize he. You know the statue of the man with horns and I know he's like Michelle's not a Catholic. How does she know? And it's like. I'm not Catholic either but I know what the devil is supposed to look like come on that's not obscure Deity from some obscure religion. Like it's the second most famous deity. It's actually the I mean I would say that people have a clear idea of what Satan looks like. They do what Jesus looks like. Jesus is white with a big beard. Everybody doesn't right. Jesus looks like Kenny. Loggins yeah but yeah they're doing this per formative naievety like how did she know? Yeah and this is also like she's supposed to be saying this like wow. How did he know this? She's not religious. The Devil said Michelle but they didn't call him that they called him Lucifer and they called him. The Prince of darkness. Remember to detail did not come out. In the previous day session. In the middle of the rituals of dancing and chanting smoke would surround the white stack shoe and suddenly mysteriously Malachi would appear on the platform next to the statue. It was impressive effect. One that added greatly to the atmosphere of the ritual like malachite is rising from the stage like the at the Super Bowl. Michelle is like well done and they have you know they're putting blood on the stack recall and Michelle reflects. They couldn't just one person in poor all the blood on that thing in the round room. Somehow that wouldn't be enough. Does it make any sense to you when I say he had different fingers in a different arm. Yes it does. Where would they get them? I'm not sure but I think for the pictures. They showed me that they got them from accidents in hospitals. It seemed better for them. Person who died had been bad drunk driver something. All their actions seemed calculated three meals innocence belief in love her good feelings by desecrating. What was sacred they would make room cre- evil to take holes? And I feel like okay. If that's the argument that we've chosen which is kind of what they land on here and stick with. It's like they had to ruin Michelle's ability to love her feel loved so that Satan could take over. And it's like Larry you know. As a therapist you can destroy a child emotionally with minimal effort. That's actually the key aspects of it. Less effort actually often results in more trauma neglected. Like you don't have to be part of some organized. Satanist come ball in order to traumatize child. Trauma is just everywhere you know. That's one of the things that gets me about all this. He's like they were obviously hurry. Organiz calculated Satanists. Who had decided to ruin this child emotionally and destroy her ability to feel loved and they accomplished it with great effort at tremendous expense right. And that's not really the nature of the problem we're dealing with in this world yet. They could've just wanted her to be a doctor and just been super disappointed that she didn't want to be one like there's other ways like fuck up your kids that are much less. Onerous Malachi would be scarier if he were sort of like withholding. And like you know just like worked. A lot was emotionally unavailable as a father. Figures like general deadbeat ARY. Yeah Yeah it feels all very sort of mid sanctuary like you haven't had a bad childhood if you haven't been put an devil statue Lawrence Pastors first patient. He doesn't seem worldly therapists. You call that. He's in his life forties so he's been practicing for awhile. I'm curious so this is good doctor pastor sense that Michelle was now ready for one quest. Can he had been wanting to ask Michelle. Do they ever call themselves a name? No not that I remember. Who COULD THEY BE? I've been thinking about for some time. They seem more complex than ordinary colts or secret societies. The rituals hormonal. Nothing really spontaneous is allowed to happen. You know all that makes me think. This group has a long history. He mean anything. They've been together for awhile. Who COULD THEY BE? It's hard to believe that people could carry on like that right here in Victoria Only Group. I know about that fits your description is the Church of Satan. God you mean like say. Why are they pretending that this is some sort of revelation? Also I know that people know this but the Church's Satan was founded in the nineteen sixties in San Francisco by Anton Lemay. It's like age old codifying like it's literally within the past decade and a half. They've been like why don't we put girls like naked girls on an altar while we chance that sounds fun? It's as old as t mobile and they're not organized and they also aren't known for child torture again easily. Google lable or whatever. The equivalent of Google was for Dr Pastor forty years ago but Michelle says my guide. You mean like Satanists and Dr. Patty says yes exactly. He no never quite believed they really existed. Well on my own you. There's a lot of the psychiatric literature about Nice try. Most people think they strictly dark ages his but the fact is the Church of Satan is a worldwide organization. It's actually older than the Chris can. Church and one of the areas where they are known to the active specific northwest. It's the same thing we see human trafficking hotspot for human trafficking. Every city in America has been described as a hot spot for human trafficking at one point. It doesn't make any claim that Satanism is older than Christianity Baltazar Predates Mario make any sense because for the antagonists to exist the protect you know and who knows how close to reality. The scene is but according to the way it's depicted here. Dr Pastor is sitting there counting down the seconds until it can be like Satan isn't a super thing and I think that's what this is and there's a lot of it like right around where we live and Yup. That's it also. The time line is not super clear. But didn't she just come into his office a few days ago with an article from the local newspaper saying there are lots of satanic cults where we live yet said satanic witches so yes she has come in earlier and been like. Oh my gosh. I heard this thing on the radio about satanic witches. Yeah and then like three days later. He's like Michelle. I reluctantly have come to the conclusion that it's satanic and she's like no like they're already chatting about satanism. I love how he's like. I think it's the Kerchief Satan and she's like you mean Satanists. That's supposed to make her look more doubtful than she is or just because it makes her look like someone who can't use context clues please this book. The morning secretly greet literature like this is one of the great unwitting unreliable narrator. It's just performance art the whole time like the same way that I think American dirt is actually the great American late clueless middle class white American woman novel. Because it's league. Everything is imagined through this Lennon Blake and then people were nice to me for no reason and helped me and I always had enough resources. Somehow and everyone I loved was fine. And you're like okay. This is not really helping out the topic. But it's like accidentally very revealing of this whole other psychic lair. Right there everything they're describing they're like and then we behaved in a way that was totally hip hop board. So yeah so Michelle's life. Yep that sounds like shit. It's it's like the therapy is taking the form of like the sex that they clearly want to be having has. They're like flirty leading each other into this lake. What if it's Satanist? Yeah is like putting your hand on someone's shoulder and seeing if they don't they're just to see if things naturally escalate mobile both start talking about Satan is and then we're talking about satanism any point it eventually. Somebody has to call an Uber. You know what I find hard to understand as Dr Pastor. What pray tell how they carry out these rituals and still lead a normal life. Michelle God he asked me to this morning. Is The bits and pieces. Were coming together. I have the same thought. How can they do that at night? And then get up and to work the next day she thought for a moment. Of course they don't do it every day. Your timing is very important you know. I've been looking at their calendar a lot lately and I realized that Sunday is very important to them. They have their big meetings every second Sunday. It all has something to do with certain special days in the Christian. Kirksey thing sure. I've sensed that too said Dr Pastor. We're going to have to find a church. Calendar for Nineteen fifty five and compare it nineteen seventy seven and he left that day. Michelle tax. Dr Patrick arm. Thank you so much for understanding. She said wrong. Thank you for what you're giving me. He answered what do you mean you? Give me a great deal for one thing. You're teaching me a lot about innocence and survival. In Psychiatry. We often focus on what parents and situations due to children and not on. Her children survived them. We often ignore all the resources children have. But look you got when it seems you have nothing left. I'm always moved. At how your innocence has been your only ally. His obsession with innocence is such a tell to await. It gets better. It gets fatter. Sorry go go go go go. I don't know said Michelle when I'm in that crazy place. I always feel so helpless from the outside. You are said Dr Pastor but inside. You're winning your beautiful. Michelle you always go out and find the goodness no love. Do that was part of their plan. But your goodness was still powerful and whenever you enforced it was some little bit of goodness from that crazy world around you. How can I tell you how good that makes me feel and are you just seeing their faces drift closer and closer to each other as they're having this conversation it? Is that kind of conversation. Yeah no you're one of the good ones Michelle an eye doctor your beautiful Michelle Your Spirit. Obviously your spirit of the child within you the end the the number of times the word. Innocence appears in this book. Oh my God I know how many but it's a lot. It's a pattern. Yeah what do you make of bad? It's always these moral panics. Always about taking innocence right. They're not about Blake runaways. Maybe struggling with drug addiction and maybe their parents are struggling with drugs to run away because they can't handle the abuse at home anymore and they're Kinda complicated people and they end up homeless. We are not interested in those people. We want to pick ages and types of people. These like suburban little angels who get taken away from these perfect childhoods and that's exactly what he's constructing. He's aging her back to the point where she doesn't really have a whole lot of agency right. She's not a teenager while this is taking place and like kind of rebellious teenager or like. Maybe she's tried smoking weed ones. No it's she's perfect blank slate. That things are only being done too. Because if she had an ounce of agency in this and he was able to sniff out that she had brought this on herself in any way I think is interest would completely evaporate the way that it always does with moral panics and especially the kind of morality that tends to come from the church on this where it's like. They're looking for an excuse to not care about a particular group or to sort of put them in the category of not victim. And so like. I'm doing my own psychoanalysis of him now but it seems like he has some sort of rescue complex where he needs to save this innocent girl and Mike make her perfect and fix her. Like as a person who has done this? I recognize this in myself. It's like we're just going to talk about you forever and our entire relationship will be based on fixing you anyway. That was mostly my own ship. But that's well and I I also feel like she's she's stuck in this loop. Where like for as long as he's being tortured by Satanists. She's worthy and deserving of love. It just feels like they're trapped in this torture loop both of them in a way and I give him a lot more agency in this because he has a lot of power and he's the one you know steering this relationship to the extent that any but I also don't think he's aware of what he's doing because no one would make themselves look this bad if they had any away how bad this could look. It's like she wants to be able to believe that she's worthy of love and yet from this kind of primary caregiver figure that she I think has has made him into at this point she only gets to be loved if she's a victim of torture and over and over. He's no matter what they did to you. She's getting as like you're you're worthy because all these things were done. Ti Right. Is there an online betting website where people can place bets on when they had sex the first time? Because this scene is a candidates. Yeah I would say. This scene is a candidate if if we were to play that game anyway. Sorry well I I feel like this is a good place to stop. Actually okay because there's like other beats to get to with these kind of some repetitive torture. Between now and then and land so. I mean what like if you're Michelle or if you're Michelle subconscious and you're like we have to keep going. We have to keep saying more stuff and lake somehow reached the end of this and be done like. How are you going to get there? There's nothing because you've already played the dead baby card. You can't like get more extreme right. We've we've crossed the dead baby and we're we're over the dead baby river now like we can't go back. Yeah San things have to keep getting worse from here. So what do you do personally? I'm not sure this book works all that well as a book because it's pretty like repetitive. Yeah it's it's not a it's not enjoyable to read. Yeah it's interesting like it had this sort of superstar editor guy but it's just like there's no threat really any subplots about like what's going on with her at work for her insurance status or her husband or even just her fiber art. It's like House Michelle's five work. After she had the nine. Yeah she just like crying all the time so she can't focus on anything. Yeah very little plot that I mean. It's kind of like reading misery away because you're like an land the room again. It's like our fees to people in this consultation room in routinely torturing each other or divisions that that work is producing any. Don't get out very much. Yeah it creates really. I mean a Claustrophobia. Even the reader I think could be just like stock. Yeah also in the SLOOP. Yes that's why we have to take breaks and go outside and going buy grads why we gotta go canoeing on the lake with that. Cambridge around twenty years ago. I don't think anything battle happen out there.

Michelle Louis Pastor Dr Pazar Reizo Malachi Michelle Project Victoria Mike I Africa Michelle Doctor Michelle Obama AIDS Sarah Marshall Michelle Wan Canada Dr Paisley Powell Michael senator Brett Gabor
#1196 - Dale Earnhardt Jr.

The Joe Rogan Experience

2:01:41 hr | 2 years ago

#1196 - Dale Earnhardt Jr.

"Hello, ladies and gentlemen. This episode of the podcast is not brought to you by Netflix. But I just want to let you know. There's a lot of Netflix shit. That's out right now from our friends Joey Diaz has a new special outright now on Netflix called the degenerates as well as Christina position. Ski yesterday's guests hilarious Christina possessed ski. She has. She has excuse me. She has she has a podcast called your mom's house. She does with her husband, the great and powerful Thompson girl, but she has a Netflix special out right now, and I have one out to mines called strange times. And it's I think it's my best one. It's it's available right now this episode of the podcast is brought to you by the cash app. You probably heard me talk about the cash out before it's a fucking amazing application for both Android and the I o s operating system. And what it is is it's the number one app and finance. But it also is attached to something called the cash card the cashcard in you. You get it free. When you get the cash app. It's a debit card that offers instant rewards and comes packed with premium features that not even a credit card can offer like boosts besides boost one thing you can do you get direct deposit your paycheck right into the app. And then you use the cash card like you would use a credit card, but with boosts the cash cards boost program lets you save ten percent up to ten percent at whole foods to port lay shake shack and many more your favorite spots and even a dollar off coffee. Every time you swipe your cash card at coffee shops cross the country, the cash card also puts you in control of your money with extra inap- safety features that let you pause your card with a touch and unlike a credit card, there are no fees, ever and credit. Check is not required to get one. It's fucking fantastic. You can download the cash app now and get your cash card for free. When you visit the app store. Or the Google play market now. And of course, when you do download the cash up make sure you enter the referral code. Joe Rogan all one word you will receive five dollars in the cash up will send five dollars to our good friend. Justin Rennes fight for the forgotten charity building wells for the pygmies in the Congo. Yeah. We're also brought to you by legalzoom business owners, if you wanna business, you know, that owning a business is a fucking pain in the ass is a lot of shit. You have to deal with no one could have prepared you for this stuff. The amount of work involved from understanding tax law changes to contract reviews and a lot of other stuff. Well, it's tough to do it on your own. And that's why legalzoom's there to give you all the tools that you need. So you can focus on running your business. We actually started on it dot com with legalzoom. The first LLC was started. With legalzoom legalzoom has helped more than a million Americans start their businesses and. Even after your businesses set up. Legalzoom could still help you out things like lease excuse me. What was that things like lease agreements changing tax laws contract reviews? They're all a part of running your business, and these are all the kinds of things that legalzoom can help you cover. So that you don't lose momentum at the end of the year. They've even created a business legal plan. So that you can get advice for your business from vetted independent attorneys and tax professionals licensed in every state and the best part is you won't get charged by the hour. Since legalzoom is not a law firm. Visit legalzoom dot com now to take care of your business before the end of the year ones down and for special savings, be sure to enter the code Rogan in the referral box at checkout. That's code Rogan for special savings only at legalzoom dot com. Legalzoom dot com bump out we're also brought to you by quip qu. Dip is my favorite toothbrush. I use it all the time. It's a better electric toothbrush. And it's created by dentists and designers, it's designed to make brushing your teeth, a more simple, affordable and even more enjoyable practice. It has sensitive sonic vibrations gentle enough for your sensitive, gums, and the reason for that. Is that people brush too hard and some electric toothbrushes are too abrasive. It also has a built in two minute timer pulse. Every thirty seconds to remind you when to switch sides. And it also helps guide a full and even clean the reason for that is up to eight up to ninety percent of us actually don't brush for a full two minutes or don't clean evenly. So this let let's, you know, every thirty seconds. It's it's cool. It's easy. They also it also comes with a multi use cover that mounts to your MIR and announced to slide over your bristles when you're on the go because you know, it declawed is your sink your cabinet, and it makes traveling much more hygenic quip doesn't require a clunky charger and it runs for three months on one charge. Brush heads are automatically delivered on a dentist. Recommended schedule. Every three months for just five bucks. Three out of four of us. Use bristles that our old worn out and ineffective and quip is one of the first electric toothbrushes to be accepted by the American dental association and has thousands of verified five star reviews, including my review a fucking love it. It's great toothbrush is really slickly designed, and it's why they're backed up by over two thousand dental professionals. I want to say it like that two thousand twenty thousand dental professional quip starts at just twenty five dollars. And if you go to get quip dot com slash Rogin right now, you get your first repeal p-, excuse me. You get your first refill pack for free with a get quip electric toothbrush. That's get your first refill pack for free and get quip dot com slash Rogan. It's G E T Q U IP dot com slash Rogan. Alright. My guest today. Is a very very cool guy famous race car driver son of a famous man and just an all around Cooma the fucker. So please give it up for Dale Earnhardt junior. The Joe Rogan experience. So. Bye. Hello jail. Hey, how you doing? I'm doing this, man. Appreciate. Yeah. I'm glad to be here. Nice to meet you, man. Nice to found out that not only your race car driver. You also Bo hunter. Yeah. Yeah. Do you like this? Your your archery quit and all that stuff, but me and a buddy of mine own some land, and and I try to get out there. And at least twice a year. I just love being in the stands sitting in the woods just thinking about what's going on to brain cleanse, everything before the shot. Really is what it's all about. Yeah. Yeah. That's a lot of right hanging out at your being with your friends and family, you need one of those technologies in your life. Yeah. That thing is all my friends. Come over here. Just go. Whoa. Yeah. That's a that's a life changer. Yeah. Absolutely. But it's also giant time waster. I know I don't know. I I've got a golf sim at the house. So I got to figure out where I can put that golfs the one of always avoided voided golf because I just saw it sucks people's time. Yeah. I don't go. That's the thing. Like, I don't have the time and the patience to really block that whole day off to go play outdoors, but to go over there and just hit the driver for thirty minutes on simulators, so fun while I would imagine with what you do for a living with. I think what you do is one of the craziest wildest most demanding things a person could do for an occupation. I don't know. It's it's right up there. You know, no other than being soldier, firefighter or cop or later. Yeah. Fighter and bullfighting and bull riding those type of things those people sing that's bull riders. That's on. Another level. That's another level of craze hung out with those guys and they own. They are crazy people. You know, it takes a certain mentality to to be able to climb onto a bull. They have a certain energy about right? They got that. I don't give a fuck energy. They cranked up the tab. Yeah. Have you ever been in Vegas when they have the finals? I haven't actually, but they're everywhere. They're all crazy. I know they are really I know a lot of those guys and. Our passive cross several times and every time you're around them. You're like are we going to end up in jail tonight? We'll possibility I mean, they're throwbacks real robot. Legit Wiedeman agree. Yeah. I mean, but what? But driving driving a race car. I mean, you have a giant engine. You're strapped into seat. You're hurling down the road at extreme speeds, right next to other cars doing the same thing just the intensity and the just the everything being on nine at all times. Like that is a wild way to make a living, sir. Yeah. Thanks. I mean, I it when I was a little when I was little thinking about you know, what the hell am I going to grow up and be I was my father was really successful in sports. So I would go to the races. And I would watch him race and see him win and watch him go through victory lane. And celebrate and all those things, and I thought man, this is what I gotta do. I gotta do this this this looks fun. This looks. Citing people are people are in all of the drivers the race, my father the personalities, and I just wanted to do it real badly. But I knew that the odds of making it or tough. So there's only forty guys in the field every weekend. So there's forty guys in this country that are going to get shot to do it. You know, and. Me. The odds of me even with my dad being a successful. He was I'd have a lot of doors open to me. But the odds of me actually getting there and being able to stay had to stay in power in the success and talent, I just knew her tough. So I didn't know if I ever get that chance. But it is how you know. I remember the first time I went to two and a half mile track. It's Talladega and you hold it wide open. I was working at my dad's dealership chain oil. He owned the Chevy store in Newton North Carolina. The phone rang, and he said my dad my dad was on the end and he was in Talladega for test. And he said get your helmet and your suit and meet me at the race track. The next day you're gonna flan king air to the to the track. Don't know don't ask questions just do. And so I got there. And I I knew I was going to tell you. And I thought man, I must be driving this. This is gonna be crazy. I'm going to go around us two and a half mile to track full speed at one hundred ninety miles an hour. I'd never done. I never went faster than ninety or ninety five on race track before never drove anything bigger than a half mile and a pool that he's got there. He's like you're gonna test this car get in get ready. He puts me in there. And he's like, you gotta hold a wide open. If you don't hold a lot of the Motors not going to work it it'll hurt the motor. You gotta hold it. The way they tune the motor to run wide open. It has to run it. It has to run at full throttle. If you try to go around there at half throttle, burn the pistons at a run too, lean all those things. So he he was saying that and I thought it myself is he just telling me that just to make sure I hold a lot open because he thought I would I would I would be a pussy not do it. And so I was like man, I I I'm a little nervous to hold wide open. But I put out on the track. No, mash, aghast full-throttle and I'm going down the back straightaway. And I was like I'm looking down the back straightaway into the next corner this long corner. And I'm like, how's it gonna stick house? The car going to house the car not gonna flat out of the race track. Like, I'm going so fast. I don't. I feel like it's going to stay in the track. And I kept running kept running through my head about my dad's saying to hold a wide open, and Michael debts, it it'll it'll it'll go wide open around here. So I don't think he would you know, I've believe everything he says, and you go in the corner and you turn into the corner. And there is. More grit than you can imagine. Like, there's so much grip took the car is stuck to the track with such grip that you've never felt this before in your life is this grit. Like, you can't slat across that track. The tr- the tires in the car hold of the track. So tough and tight that nothing's gonna make it just goes around. They're like, it's it's the craziest thing. And so now today when I tell people when I got this two seater car, and we take people for ads, and they get in there. And I'm like man, what am I going to do? What are you going to do to explain to somebody? What is gonna feel like I'll tell you things to pay attention to pay attention to the grip. You're not gonna believe how much grip this car has like you're you're just not going to believe that it extracted attract the way it does so pay attention to that. And patriots now bumpy and violent. It is you know, you drive a Cadillac or any car down the street. We'll it's, you know, six eight inches off the ground these big old inflated tires and big giant sidewall? And it's gonna feel nice. You know when it hits a little bums. Our cars are rigid and sucked to the ground and don't have much traveling this suspension, and you know, it just it's it's built to hand too fast. Not to feel good, you know, and it's gonna it's rough as hell and shakes shakes the hell out of you. And that's what I remember about that. And as soon as I got over that initial fear. I think that was the only time I ever had any real fear of driving a car as soon as I was like well, all right. What anything nothing else is going to be as scary as that was right driving a car, and I've been flipping and when I flipped for the first time, and are, you know, the cars tumbling and flying parts flying off the air. My I thought to myself that I wasn't scared or I never was scared of flipping my thought was I just did something a lot of people never gonna experience. You know? I did something that. That only a few people know what that's like. And and I feel safe. I've always felt incredibly safe inside the car, you know, especially with the I mean in the last twenty years this the safety stuff is really been focused on and improved and better and better and better. But I look at the interior by cars today versus twenty years ago. And it's I can't believe some of the stuff that we used to climb into. So you felt calm while it was flipping. Oh, yeah. I always well have seen cars flip of seen it for years. Right. So I know it's possible. So I get in there. And I got turned around at a race in one thousand nine hundred eight racing at Daytona and got turned around and the car. So I'm flippin for the first time my life, and this car is like over three thousand three thousand pounds. So it's it's but it flies up in the air. Like, it's paper, man. It's the craziest thing in the world. It's so weightless and what it felt like to me because so the car. Rolled on its side and came down kind of on its side. It felt like somebody wrote a prop wall of grass up against the car. You know, what I'm saying when I was on my side, and I could see the ground. I felt like I was right side up because as you're flipping the force pushes you down on the seat. So you feel Turnley you feel gravity all the time. Like your car's flipping you're you're pushed into the seat. So you feel you feel weight of yourself in the seat that never changes. You never of come up out of the bet. And so it's like semi role to prop Walla grass up against the side of the car and then against the roof and then against that side. And then this kept doing that. And I'm like, it's just the weirdest feeling and you feel completely safe. You feel like, you know, nothing's going to harm me. But this any you just one of the things they always talk about it. It's like get your hands. Owned a something because the spinning makes your arms go like this. And if you watch a lot of old wrecks from the sixties and seventies you'll see the guy's arms compliant out the window. And they're just kind of flopping around. They can't put his spinning so fast. You can't pull it in and your arms go like that. So as soon as you know, you're going up side down to grab the bottom of the steering wheel. And just kind of watch. But. A flip. My pickup truck one time on Christmas day, and I wouldn't hold on the steering wheel. And my arm went out the window, you know, for like a split second banged around. And in the in the window seal. And I was like man, I got it back in and grabbed hold the stare, and we'll both my hands and so ever since then I've like, you know, now, I know like anytime a minute crash. You gotta have your hands a hold of something. Because that's the one thing that you can't control your you're strapped in your seat belt and everything but your arms, and you know, can go anywhere. And in that moment when the cars rolling barreling or flipping you it's so fast. Like, you can't your arms just go this way. The craziest thing in the world. That's the only fear. I guess is that your arm could get outside the window get crushed or something. Because guys have had that happen. You know to magin. How'd you flip when you were on Christmas day? My sister. She knows this is she won't be news to her. But. It's probably not fun for her to hear every time. I tell it. But we I had a pickup truck with the tape deck in and I had she got me that walkman CD with the dapper for take tape deck that you stick into you know, you said adapter, and she bought me the walkman considered after and I'm in my my my truck. I got extended cabinets ten I'm driving from my house to my memos house where family reunions, my dad's there, everybody's their whole families there. I'm low late. And I'm driving down the road. And I got to mess him with that walkman in I drove off into the ditch. And I hit a driver covert pipe drainage pipe in a driveway and went like seven flips. And destroyed this truck in the middle of the flippin, a member of that happening and everything all my change jacket. Anything that was loosened. The car ended up down in one corner like flow board everything sort of collects into that one corner is spinning and it crushed a windshield down the mirror was down into the radio. You know, it was crushed roof down real bad. I was really lucky. I have my hands on top of the steering wheel in the windshield slapping, my knuckles and knocked Allman busted almond, knuckles, real bad. And so then I let go and my hands went this way. And then I finally got him back in and grabbed the bomb steering wheel. Broke the tires were flipping broken and busted off the truck. And this I got out of the truck, and I was fine. Didn't having injuries other than just the knuckles kind of being scraped up. This this newly married couple. They just are either got engaged or just got married drive in the other way and solve the whole thing, and they stopped. And they were like, yeah. I I'm like, yeah. And of course, there's this line of cars behind me stopped on the road. And this one lady pulls off, and I was like I need to borrow your cell phone, call my dad, she's like you're in shock you need sit down. And I was like, no, I'm not in shock. I just need bar Matt's bar you cell phone. So she walked in the next car, and I got a cell phone from this person. I call my dad, and I was like dad, I was like, man. I flipped my truck. I had pay. I'd I'd find it. It's this thing for five years as paying a hundred dollars a month is perfect as working at diligent changing probably make an hundred thirty dollars a week. And. I mean, just got this truck for probably two three months and. Us truck. But it was it was good. It's Joe I called dad, and I'm like man, he's gonna be mad. Can't be too mad because I'm paying for the truck. But he's gonna be mad at me because I'm screwing up family reunion in Christmas. He comes to get me. I'd flip this truck real close to our where our farm was. So he ran over to the farm and got this flatbed truck and he pulls out there with the flatbed truck. And he pulls out in the soon as he pulls up state trooper pulls up in a state trooper guy and dad talk for a minute and a state troopers like one single car accident, you okay? Everybody's okay, dad. Daddy, you gonna put this on flat bed. Take home. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I ain't gonna I gonna investigate or anything. Everything's cool. Y'all just go about you've been so he left he did a solid there. And didn't gimme traffic ticket. And so me and dad put the truck on the flatbed and we're driving back, and he started laughing. And I was like man, I expected you to be really mad because he was a fiery count that you know, in a pulled built out and go town, you know, be a rough strict tough tough, dude. And so I thought I was going to get a good Cussing at least, but he started laughing. And I said man, what's funny. And he goes I was eighteen when this happened. He goes when I was eighteen years old. I flip my car. He's like I can't get mad. He's like, I'm just glad you're not hurt. I'm like, well, that's nice. So we drove back. I took pictures of it. And got me got any shirts for a guy like eleven twelve gram for insurance to be able to Detroit. So don't work there. So that was the first time you've ever flip something or did you that was not a race car was next? So the race cars like I've been here. Yeah. And this in in the race cards. It's not as bad as a pasture car. You only got that strap you're moving around and banging around in there in the race card. They're pretty tight. Yeah. Well, do you feel weird? When you're in a passenger car to is the lack of support support and say, you know, I do because compared to way the way our cars are now are the race cars are now man, we're Kundun there the seat and everything headrest, you got six seven point harnessed. I mean in streetcar, you really just got the strap. I mean, it's. I certainly, you know. Immoral a much more cautious as I get older on the highway and people like how do you? How do you drive on? How you drive a race car and then go forty five fifty five on the road. And it's real easy actually just kinda chill at all your fast driving out of the way when I was young. I was getting speeding tickets all the time. But when as I got older, I just didn't care to be an hurry anymore. I would figure the way you drive for a living. You just get it out of your system. Yeah. Lenny of I had plenty and plenty of half speed action and hijinks on the racetrack. I don't I calm down the road. What kind of car? Do you drive in real life? Well, it's funny. I just bought a brand new Silverado. I haven't bought a truck in a long time. I had I still have my old Silverado about about. Oh, four six, but there's new one I like a lot. I mean, ones are bad. I didn't like the old ones that much just kind of basic, the new ones are really sweet looking to character lines and the body lines. It's just a good good-looking truck. So about that. But my what I was driving before that I got a forty eight pickup truck, and it's all roughest hail on the outside and original faded, all messy and ugly. Looking but it's got a vortex motor good draft train in it drives good, but it's easy to work on. And I just love fooling with took original Binks bench lead out and put these old bucket seats in from eighty Chevy blazer and some eight comfortable and just the way I wanted it. So I drive I drove that a lot this summer until I got this new truck, and I got a seventy six Chevy Laguna that I loved drive. Yeah. That thing just kind of float slowed down the road, man. And it's the art midnight, blue, tinted windows and just a really cool. I love the seventies in the style. The cars in the seventies. Even kind of bigger ones like in the late seventies. Like the four forty two Oldsmobile cutlass. Yeah. Those big big big. Cars. There's something about those guys that are really digs out your car with my car there. Yeah. I love that thing, man. I had a one thousand nine hundred seventy three chevelle that reminds me of that kind of body style at the I got a four forty two that sort of the sister that Oldsmobile four to read and kind of the same tended when same I did the same wheel same tire. Same ten same. Put a spoiler like a NASCAR style. Spoiler on the back in the front and kind of because those cars were big and NASCAR. So those those cars don't get as much love sixty cars. Well, we'll get there. I think as we get older what cool gets older remain. Yeah. Like, I mean, nothing. I mean, this KOMO the sixty seven Camaro those cards. Yeah. I got a sixty seven I thought I had a sixty nine but like the fifty five all those things will always hold their rightful place in history. But these cars like that car right there that wasn't very cool ten fifteen twenty years ago. No. But as we get older that car becomes cool. You know, and and you know, one day we'll be driving around in like eighty five pickup trucks, go on this thing. So so awesome. So we'll drill. I think. So I know about that. Just car might just be cool because you own it out. I think it's these old character lines, man. Like, it does have old care. You know, what's interesting. I was just talking to a friend of mine about this in one thousand nine hundred seventy my mom bought barracuda. And when I was in high school in one thousand nine hundred eighty one I was a freshman high school, and she had this barracuda and it was like a classic car, and it was like a classic muscle car. But like that's only eleven years old. Yeah. Like if you had a car today from two thousand and seven well, there wouldn't be a class this just a car. Yeah. You're right. It's weird is weird. It is weird like a nineteen sixty nine when I was in high school in nineteen sixty nine which is only eleven year old car was amazing. People would stop and stare at. It. Do look at that sixty nine Camaro. Yeah. Oh, I got a eighty eight s ten that was the first pickup truck owned or had that was like the car. I got when I was sixteen years old, and I got one and restored it, and which was terrible. Investment? But. It makes sense for me because you know, because it was my first truck boat, and I didn't think anybody would give us shit about it. Right. Because it's an ten it's like the bottom of the barrel and pickup trucks for Chevrolet and nine hundred. And but I think around and people were like, wow, that's the cleanest ten I've seen in twenty years that they're either. That's nice. Yeah. And so it was something about seeing one of those in great shape that it made it through. Yeah. There's not many of them left. I mean for for good reason. But what was your first car? My first car was a seventy three chevelle that one. But I got seventy anyone Seville is good car. Oh, I love. She's. So would you buy philad-? You get a seventy three and restore to get a seventy cents my favorite, your sixty nine and seventy or my favorite years. I go back and forth. GNC nine seventy chevelle ze. Yeah. They're all amazing years. Yeah. Yeah. I like those they're they're they're a big muscle car. It's a big rise. It's bigger than the Camaro. Yeah. I have a nineteen sixty nine Nova really a smaller. Yeah. Like that right there. Daddy, looking gar. That is classic and American muscle cars. You get a nineteen seventy with silver with black stripes. Kamo they used to race Novus who dad race to Nova. Yeah. No, I like novas because the light is the light car, and you put a big engine in it and new suspension, and yeah, I have a Nova. Alaskan that I just bought a sixty six. Oh, wow. That's my next project. About it from a buddy for five grand. And I'm it's in. It's it's pretty bad shape. But I'm gonna that's my next project since I get some time I had this little girl, Allah, and she's six months. So it's kind of made it tough do any kind of products. Greg. Thanks. It's awesome. But it does it does eat up. Everything is on the Saturday. Now. Wilby forever. Until they move out. And then they'll little bit on the side. 'cause you got to call and check on. Yeah. Yeah. It's awesome. Though. It is amazing. I I couldn't it's just like getting married and having a kid and all that stuff is not nothing. Like, I thought it'd be it's no one can explain it to you. Especially kid part. Yeah. They can explain to I've had friends that have kids. They just go. We'll we'll talk after the kids. Right. There's no way you're going to be able to figure this out until it actually happens. Yeah. I've had people everybody tries to tell you. This is what it's going to be like manual. Don't believe greatest thing ever. Boy, you just don't even know. And it still does it doesn't help, you know, don't think in till you go through the experience when you go to experience, and they were right. This is the greatest thing ever. It's a different kind of love. It is just it's just it's hard to explain doesn't doesn't make you know, when my if I come home, my daughter's run up to me jump in my arms and catch him, and they give me a kiss. And I'm hugging him. And there's a kind of love that doesn't exist. List in any other nothing nothing. You could have ever felt before with anything or anybody else? It is. This is different. Yeah. I can't wait. I can't wait for that. She's six months, and everybody's like man, and you you'll probably agree. They're like the goes fast. It goes fast fast. We're sort of in that moment where we're like come on like can't wait for her to talk. I can't wait to hear her voice. Like, what is her boys going to sound like, you know, what kind of voices she going to have? And what is she going to like? And what we want me to do with her and this kind of thing. Yeah. It's awesome. Yeah. It's awesome. But yeah, it does put your projects on is. My projects are on the side all SAM's on the side huntings on the side. I ain't gonna go hunting this year. I was I was going to go. I usually go Tober or November first November. And you guys have a spot in Ohio one of the best white tail spots country made a buddy of mine Martin tricks junior. He raises to and we just been buddies a long time and he's hard core. He's heavy duty into hunting. And so we got I wanted to hunt. But not you know, I'm not going to be going every week. But I knew he was probably interested in probably buying some land and us managing it together. And learn and how that process goes. So we bought this land and we've put the crop. We've put we've put the food plots in not per not ourselves, but we've managed to land on how he want to change it and sort of managing the heard, and you know, it's been a really. Educational experience. A lot of people don't hunt. Don't even understand what we're talking about the whole process. Like, if you buy a nice piece of land people who especially if you look at like, a bunch of organizations that, you know, teach classes in how to manage giant piece of property, but laying out food plots, and and people buy these big chunks of property specifically for white tail on. Yeah. Yeah. So we have about a thousand acres, and and that's awesome. All we do is both hunt for white tail. That's it. We'll we'll go in there twice a year. Maybe or at least once a year for Turkey. And we feel like we we killed. We gotta Turkey last year and was eating at that night. I mean, that's that's amazing. Isn't it is crazy? Yeah. When you can eat it, and it doesn't have ever touched the freezer. Never goes in the frigerator just straight from the Harvest Right to the grill. Yeah. It's great. It's incredible. Dear dear jerky is probably my favorite in the we fried Turkey nuggets and stuff like that. I mean, it's pretty cool. That's awesome. Yeah. So that's a cool little getaway for you to write thousand acre little slides and it's driving distance. So because I love road trip. I'm I mean, if I wanted to I could fly out there, but I like to the road trip the whole thing for me really is everything before the shot that you take in the on the deer. It's the drive up there with your buddies talking about what you're gonna do. Well, you can't wait to do. What's been going on with everybody getting up there and getting everything laid out looking at the map on the wall? You know, big laminated map on the wall. Be like man is big STAN which ways wind blowing. Let's talk about the win. What's weighing only doing tomorrow morning where we're going to go tomorrow morning. You know, and then, you know, everybody has, you know, everybody gets their hands into cooking dinner that night. So, you know, everybody gets a sad or something they're dealing with and managing. And it's just fun. You know, just just spending time with your buddies. Because you don't never know. We don't take that time any really time anymore. And it's kinda you go you're gonna go do that for two days. You know? So you're gonna make time to be with each other. Enjoy it. I like taking my buddies and like taking friends of mine that don't hunt or have never hunted, and let them sort of understand what experiences like, and it's pretty cool. It is cool. But it's tough to get someone who's never hunted before who is an in hunting sit in a stand. Yeah. I can't go. I wanted me to go. She's she knows what huntings about she's into it. But. She don't want. We gotta even got the redneck blinds real comfortable deals, and you sitting there and a chair move. All you won't. Yeah. Whereabout you're sent to bad or anything like that. And she won't even go sit in that. I'm hoping the album won't go. So we'll see. Yeah. Maybe it's better that she doesn't go. Break. Yeah. You need a little place. Where like if you get like if she wanted to go every time you were going, right? Oh, come on. Would you like it too much? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I would imagine again. So with what you do for a living having something, that's peaceful and quiet now nature would be very important to kind of bounce out. The just the wild hectic nature of race car driver. Yeah. I mean for me that's getting when I get into stand, and I sit down and I'll look out across the field and look at the land and everything man, you ain't got to worry about. You know, answer no Email or or getting back to this guy or setting up disappointment or answering this question, or you know, it's just it's even better. It's better than going on vacation. Like, we vocation with my wife, or my buddies or whatever you still can't really ever really on disconnect. Everything you're doing it seems like though when I go hunting, I can completely get rid of technology. You know, if I want, and you know, it's it's just and sitting in the woods is peaceful. Yeah. You know, there's good for you. It is good. It is it's therapeutic even though nothing's happening. It's kind of cleansing in a way. Yeah. Weird way. In a weird way. Just I think human beings have a certain amount of requirement for time in nature. Yeah. I think and you don't realize you have that requirement till you're out, you, wouldn't you wouldn't know it until you go sit in a stand. You're like. Wow. Needed a little bit of this. I think even park, you know, even people. Go to central park in New York City. They go to that park and sit down by tree, and they just feel better. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That's exactly what it is. Yeah. I mean in your your work environment is a concrete slab. You know that you're driving. How fat what's the fastest you go to fifteen? When when that passes, you realize how fast to fifteen really is like geez, sitting at car. Do it long enough. You forget do you have opera -hension about the horsepower wars with just modern consumer cars because I look at some of these cars that they're put now that are amazing. The new corvette z are one seven hundred plus horsepower right from the factory the dodge demons like eight hundred horsepower. Like they're putting out these insane race cars right from the factory that any dummy. Like me could just good was if I have the cash a good corvette dealership and pick one up and all of a sudden, I'm on the highway. Yeah. Yeah. I don't I don't have a problem with it now until it becomes common occurrence, where people don't know how to control, you know, know know, how to manage what they're doing behind the wheel of something like that. But until until that's like a common issue. I don't know that it will need regulation. Yeah. Yeah. I don't necessarily think I wouldn't be surprised that one day maybe regulated. Because everything gets you know, governed. It's right. Yeah. Maybe too much. Maybe we should just appreciate can do that. I know I want to be able to build whatever I wanna build. Right, right. Yeah. If I want that in production ought to be able to produce whatever they want. I agree. But I feel like I feel the same way. I feel about guns like I'm very pro second amendment feel like I am a responsible gun owner. I have a lot of friends that are responsible gun owners. I've used guns for hunting. I think you should have a gun for protection. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But I don't think it would be a bad idea to have some sort. Of course, that you have to go through the understand all the aspects of safety precautions that you should take and how to correctly loaded gun and clean and guys. Yeah. But this is not really the case right now, you know, and it's not necessarily. I'm not talking about gun control as much as I'm talking about gun safety. Gun responsibility. I feel the same way about car. I feel like if you're going to go out and buy a corvette z are one. I mean, the kind of body mashing acceleration the G forces. You can get from something like that. Right. From the factories zero to sixteen hundred three seconds doesn't insane automobile. Like, maybe someone should take you around a track a little bit. That's a great idea. I guess that would be the case if you were going to buy something like that or getting a car like that you would need some kind of trainer course had to pass her three hours on a track. If you're if you have to have particular license to drive eighteen wheelers down the interstate. You know, there should be a style or type of license that you need to cheer to have certain type of. Yeah. You know, you want to go buy a viper. A CR and take it on the road those crazy race car. Vipers? You drive probably know how to drive her. Yeah. Those things are a little handful. They'll tell happy they're pretty deal. They're so crazy to that the race car one with all the vents and all the aero all around it. That was just an insane thing that you could just go by that out on the road giant as v ten in it. It's pretty crazy. It's awesome. Yeah. Do you? So do you drive like fast cars on the road ever? Or do you mostly you just like just mostly drive a normal relaxed on the road? So I. I got a lot of speeding tickets when I was younger shocker. Yeah. And I. And it seemed like it just never fail anytime. I got behind the wheel of a corvette or anything like that. I would get pulled over for Roland through lights or roll into a stop sign or reckless driving or whatever. And I I mean it happened as recently as two three years ago. I got pulled over for. Rolling through a stop sign and speeding. And and the guys like man, you don't need these tickets like what are you doing? And I was like, you're right. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I don't need to be grabbing this damn car. What's up I need to get out of stupid car? I don't need to corvette when all power and so. And I've got this original. I got this original sixty five empowered that's been in my family since it was brand new. It's kind of been the community car. It was passed around got banged up on the corner corner right front corner. A couple of crashes here a couple of pressure you just needed to car because his rope down. So that he used it for a while, and such just and I finally got about it for two grand from my dad, and I've fixed it up Scott a barrel to eighty three. Wow. Doesn't go anywhere. Right. And I just as much rather drive. That car is little a power as it has no one. I won't get myself in any stupid trouble. Right. You know, being in a hurry or being impatient. And so that's. That's that's what I that's what I try to do. I actually I don't care about as much what kind of power the car has as much. I like driver. I want to. I like nice cars. I like, you know, frame off restorations. But I'd rather have a driver that's reliable and easy to work on. And I think that's why like that forty eight pickup truck. It's got the vortex motor which is just a, you know, it's it's not a powerhouse is just dropped in out of a out of out of a junkyard crash. And it's it's easy to work on like me and a buddy of mine put electric wire motor in the because it had no vacuum when just didn't didn't work, and and it's easy to it's easy to work on. But we put these seats in it. And we put a we got ammo box for console and shit like that do you just enjoy because it's also it's it's it's something that's sort of related to what you do for a living. But then again, not. In kind of just a project out of a Bill. Yeah. I. I think the reason why I like to work on cars is because it I don't know it makes you it makes you a little invested in the car. There was there was a pen. There's a point a time where I was just kind of like, that's cool. I want to buy that. I'll get that drive that a year. Now, I don't like that anymore. Oh that school went by that. I'll get rid of this one this one and that got old real fast for me. And so I started to that's when that's when I put a little more time, and that sixty five in Pailin and fixed it up, and I'm like, that's I'm never never in that car never going to sell it that forty truck. I'll never sell it. Just because of the workup put into the, you know, the time the time that I've spent with it. I've had I mean, you know, I've got there's people that are helping me work on these cars buddy, mon- that actually helps me work on these cars, but. When I finished that Nova wagon. I'll probably never sell it. Even though it's probably nothing special. If someone else were to look at it. But it's what I you know, what I put into it. Yeah. You've got sweat at any. And the more you work on these cars. The more confidence you get in trying to do more getting into the jobs that you didn't think you were capable of doing. If you ever thought about a build up straight from scratch. That's probably what will Nova wagon's going to be. Yeah. I wanted to know mad. So my dad had a no mad and. It was this thing had polished aluminum on underneath floor pan and MIR he parked on a mirror in the shop. So you could look underneath it. You know, look out. Good too damn thing was it was a boat. It was frame off Harley ever seen the road. I mean just clean is it could be from Indian. And I love road trips the Noga wagon. I mean, the the nomad is the perfect road trip car, but I just don't want to spend the money on on the Nova. I mean, a nomad chassis and body is just ridiculous to buy and. I want to build the car. I'm not a expert mater. So this Nova wagons perfect. It's a wagon. It's not a nomad mad. But it's a little smaller, which I like, and if a screw it up. It's okay. If I screwed up nomad, build I'd be pissed. Why are no Matt so expensive? I don't know. They're just rare. And it's like the, you know, it's like, though, it's like the old fifty five Chevy wagon put into my head with a nomad looks like what year like a fifty five fifty six fifty seven pull up like a fifty five Noman. Oh, say that to me is my ultimate car. But damn man. I mean, they're just so that's beautiful cargo that's a different era. And you look at the muscle cars of the nineteen sixties. And then you go to something like this like that's a whole different world. That's a different kind of thing. I'd like to get there was this one nomad this guy chopped up and narrowed up and they made one of those things it's like a rat. Rod. Yeah. That was that was an idea for this Nova wagon. But I don't think it will chop it up. We'll keep it as when I was in high school. There was a man in the neighborhood when I was a kid that had a fifty five Chevy, and it was t