19 Burst results for "Dr Dan Siegel"

Learning to Respond, Not React

Tara Brach

04:59 min | 3 months ago

Learning to Respond, Not React

"To begin with a quote that's pretty much anonymous although I've seen versions of it from Christian philosophers and Buddhists and Gandhi. This. Is it the thought becomes the word? The word manifest as the deed, the deed develops into the habit. Habit hardened into character character gives birth to destiny. So Watch your thoughts with care and let them spring from love born out of respect for all beings. So this is an expression of Karma which really is saying that causes lead to a fax that when we have certain beliefs and thoughts. They create certain feelings then turn into actions and the actions become habits and those habits end up really creating our sense of identity and if they're really hardened turn become our destiny. And we tend to keep repeating and repeating and repeating we're creatures of habit. When they create our destiny when they're based in fear these habits, they really become the block and our lives to accessing all. We can be to accessing happiness and creativity, and in a deep way a sense of our spirit. I say that one of the deepest. Expressions of despair that comes my way as when someone will report that I've been repeating the same pattern of pushing people away are grasping on or undermining myself or whatever it is all my life for as long as I can remember. There's a real feeling of despair because how can I ever change? So deeply grooved. So tonight's reflection will really be on how we can awaken from these habitual chains of thinking feeling and acting us stimulus reaction cycle that we get caught into that really combined our lives and the title of the talk is really the freedom of responding not reacting. Okay And I think this is a very universal. Theme in terms of transformation because every one of us if we're in any way suffering. Were suffering because there's some patterning that has locked in this rooted in fear and the we keep playing out over and over again and it's confining our sense of being. That's why we're suffering. So the way I'd like to structure this is around. Three key teachings that have. Really, shaped my my life, my spiritual life in a very deep way and I think of them as invitations each of these three teaching surveys of in a way free ourselves are waking up out of a chain-reaction. Okay. And the first one the way I language it it's really please don't believe your thoughts. That's the first one. And the second one is pleased just pause and come back into presence. And the third one is pleased. Remember love. In some way whatever but remember low. So. That's going to be kind of the architecture if you will of our of our reflection together these invitations. But. We'll begin by taking a look at what happens in our brain when we're caught in the stimulus reaction chain in the ones and they're in there very often relational where we get triggered and we go into this this chain of reactivity. and. My favorite illustration comes from Dr Dan Siegel who's a psychiatrist, his friend also, and he's one of the leaders in what's called interpersonal neuro biology and what Dan does is he says think of the brain and he says any print picks up his hand like this. He says think of the brain like this that your wrist leading into the palm of your hand it's like spinal cord going into the skull. So this is the brain stem. And then he says, this thumb is your limbic. System. And this has to do with arousal and emotions and relationships. You've got the brain stem that's really regulating your body and it's fight flight freeze. And then you've got the thumb that's emotions. It's Olympic system and he says these forefingers, Casey it like this is the Cortex, the frontal cortex. This is what lousy us to perceive the outside world and think and reason, and the prefrontal Cortex is just the kind of bottom part of my knuckles right down here is really the source of mindfulness atonement empathy compassion. So this is the brain.

Dr Dan Siegel Gandhi Casey
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Raising Good Humans

Raising Good Humans

01:54 min | 11 months ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Raising Good Humans

"They're going to be just fine. You might also decide you will be in mental anguish if you are separating and so you'd rather just be there neither one is going to be the right answer for me to give you because I cannot know what you're gonNA in a feel like it's a little bit like you put your oxygen mask on first. I just flew yesterday so it's on my mind but when we say when we get that direction of put put your oxygen mask on first it is specifically so that you can breathe and take care of the people that you need to care for otherwise just to take that further. If you're passed out you can't take care of anyone so I wish you luck and remember. This is all going to change daily these emotions of having a newborn and congratulations. Thank you for listening joining and please join me next week when New York Times bestselling author. Peggy Ornstein is going to talk about boys and sex young men on hookups love porn consent and navigating the new masculinity our culture pays so much attention to how we raise girls through puberty and and all of the topics that were gonNA continue to dive into an fact. Peggy Ornstein wrote a bestselling book called girls and sacks so now we're gonNA have have a conversation starter for the much-needed discussion in this metoo. Era unreason good men. Thank you for trusting me and for listening and please then questions in and through my direct message on instagram at raising good humans. PODCAST I have so many of them and I really enjoy them and I'm doing my best to make sure that I get to all them albeit a little bit more slowly than I'd like and for more highlights follow me on instagram at raising good humans podcast and if you enjoyed this episode assode and are in the mood feel free to subscribe rate and write a little review. Have a wonderful weekend and a happy new year..

Peggy Ornstein New York Times bestselling
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Raising Good Humans

Raising Good Humans

11:51 min | 11 months ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Raising Good Humans

"So if anybody recognizes that it's something to think think about. Yeah because these are not genetically determined strategies are behaviorally your immersed into behavioral interaction of in this case you know lack of being seen Mexican of being sued and so you can see. The patient is very understandable. And that's what you say so. You're not the partners. You don't have to frustrate you as a therapist or a friend you can say. Hey Yeah of course you adapted this way but you might be open to the notion that it could be a different way and I talked about a case of Stewart's ninety two year old attorney earnings book called mine site and you'll see the way to help them move from dismissing attachment stance to another word stance to another strategy which is security. The next forum is about fifteen percent of popular ten to fifteen percent depending on the study and this is called ambivalent visit attachment Sometimes called resistant here. What you see is Well unlike the avoidance in the reunion here here you're seeing. The child goes to the caregiver on reunion after separation for three minutes. And then clings to them and you study them. The first year of life sometimes uh-huh they're seeing sometimes they're not seeing or sometimes when the parent is trying to interpret the inner experience. They project their own. The parents own own mental state like fear Rang Zaidi onto the child state. So let's say a child is really hungry and a little bit distress. Because they're hungry the parent response with fear because they're afraid they're not gonNA do a good job as a parent or you know they. They don't know what the signal means well now because of what's called the mirror neurons which should be called the sponge network system the child's sponges up You know the fear of the parent when they're just feeling hungered right so we we learn who we are through the response of our caregiver so now. I'm learning that when I'm hungry I'm really scared. No or am I scared. Or they scare no fear you know and so now. It's like all all this inconsistency for the seeing part that's and of course the soothing part is sometimes stay on sometimes not so this situation leads to a strategy of basically if they could speak with words would be something like this by one year of age. Hey Mike Caregiver sometimes shows up. Sometimes she doesn't you know condemn safe but I'm not really seeing or if I'm seeing is it really me or is it Amer- you know so I develop a strategy of increasing my attachment drive. Because I never know if I can rely on my parents showing up. So I've got an increase my drive to seek proximity to them right. And and the internal allstate is one of confusion. Whereas the states of the avoidance is one of disconnection and they're very very different strategy different strategies and so oh and again you can think about these things and think? Oh do I recognize this feeling or this experience or this strategy When I'm responding founding and I love how you said we learn who we are through the response of our caregiver? I love that because it's important to remember that even again like the the parent who is trying to interpret based on their own feelings instead of thinking about what's going on on with their infants is kind of wiring a different kind of experience and a different knowing of oneself and and ambivalent ruined one exactly. Well then that's that's exactly what the ambivalence is like. I have mixed feelings. I really really want but I really can't depend on them being being there in a reliable way they're not gonNA show. Maybe maybe they will. It's really play not just thinking of like that and the and the the adult adult attachment interview of the parent of that child. Who has that attachment to that parent because the child will have a particular attachment to each caregiver? This is a crucial thing and support for. Why we we know that Attachment Waltz insolence by your EPI genetic controls in genetic issues. It's not it's not determined by those and we talk about that in a moment but But here the the adult attachment interview findings went preoccupied. So unlike the dismissive says relationship not important here. The adult actually is preoccupied. I call leftover garbage. You know leftover issues not so much trauma and loss that will get to next but leftover garbage like my mom like my brother more than me. He still does the fifty years old. You know. It's like okay buddy. You know we're on it so here's where you say you can work on your preoccupied stance you can work on your dismissing stance. Those are all changeable as adults. You know or for a kid. You can work to move them. From avoidance in the first case and ambivalence case to secured these working models because they can't be worked on throughout the lifespan van. So those were the two that Mary Ainsworth found in the initial Baltimore study and then what happened was Mary main studied with her daughter. Hd St Them at Berkeley and then she found a third category so in addition to finding the adult attachment interview. Finding said. It's not what happened to you as an adult. But how you've made it's sensitive another absolutely fundamental. Finding from Mary. Maine's lab at Berkeley is that of disorganized attachment So just a parenthetically mentioned for anyone who's interested in the details you get a secondary classification of secure. Or what's called insecure secure avoidance or what's called insecure ambivalent. Those are in this case. When you get this organizable mentioned in moment you secondary one of those other stories and and the way to think about is those are the organized aspects of attachment organized security organized insecure avoiding organized insecure ambivalent the the child just like few settlers at the child did do the best developed this organized approach to what they were given and they did the best that could win Organiz strategy and and that's important to recognize in the group bouts talked about now which in noncanonical population can be five to fifteen percent depending on the study in high risk groups could be over eighty percent? You know so and this. This is the most distressing grouping of because it has the most difficulty in life life most troubling regulation the most trouble with relationships so all invalid. Attachment may have a tendency for some anxiety. But it's not like a form of psychopathology just has the tendency. or The avoidance grouping has a tendency be controlling and disliked by their peers and be isolated. You know and as a tendency to be that way we would inouye identified that with pathology in disorganized attachment is actually different here. There is a clinical find it. It's very very Significant of clinical levels of what's called dissociation and dissociation is is coming from the regular English term Dis Association meaning usually associated things are disconnected from each other. And this has to to do with things like your connection to your body. You're feeling of catchy to memory. You're feeling of being real or feeling of being yourself. Those are all aspects of clinical dissociation which sadly people with a history of disorganized attachment They do Get difficulties with dissociation creation. They do have marked trouble regulating their emotions that especially under stress. They do have difficulty having mutually rewarding relationships with others. So so you can see where you know. This is the most concern in group and if someone were interested in you know preventative work. You would for sure want to start work by identifying people with disorganized attachment help them move to even an organized form of insecure attachment as less disruption to life than the disorganized form. So so now you're seeing you can say insecure versus secure. Now we're saying this organized denies versus disorganized and found worth saying that. For the most part disorganized attachment is highly associated with abuse. Is that right. So let's let's review that issue so so when they asked the question okay. Well here's a form of Reaction to attachment experiences that can have a baseline of security actually or can have a baseline of avoidance or a baseline ambivalence excellent. So that's the important issue there. But in the infant strange situation on like just sure avoidance where they're just avoiding the return of the caregiver own our the ambivalent attachment where they're clinging after the parent returns and they don't return to playing with toys. What you see in the disorganized response in the infant strange range situation is very disorganized? There's word comes from reaction. So let's say the parent now reenters the room after three minutes separation the baby. Let's see age He looks up and now maybe bites himself or he falls on the floor and bangs his head on the floor or he approaches is the parent in three steps and then turns away from the parent. So this approach avoidance this disorganized a approach people say. Wow Oh wow. That's really different. From avoidance where they just don't respond outwardly in their behavior or businesses they jumped on the parent's lap. They don't let go. Oh very different. Those are organized behavioral strategies to the return of the attachment figure. And so the idea. Is that after the separation or activating attachment networks and then when the parent returns now. The attachment system is activated under. This strange situation called the train. Strange situation so now you're revealing strategy attachment. That's the whole idea of it. So secure is the baby goes to the parents that's on their lap for a couple of seconds says. Hey Hey look at these cool toys. I'm twelve months of age. Those toys are really interesting. I love novelty your wonderful. I gave you a hug by back pain. So it's cool they they. They don't ignore you. They see you. They connect they played. I want to bring you to play sometimes or you know. Go back to playing. That's what they're twelve months. They play play play but the other two. You can't do that. They don't do that to continue the playing and avoid the parent or clings okay disorganized. What's the approach avoidance from? Well I spent a week with you know two dozen Matache researchers and we were talking about. The Future of studied disorganized attachment. So there's a lot of details I could go into in this category belichick's. It's just summarize it for clarity is basically when the parent is the source of terror either by severe neglect collect or by your behavior screaming at the top of your lungs. You're shaking your child or of course that would get through neglect on the one hand and you mentioned abuse abuse absolute physical abuse verbal abuse emotional abuse sexual abuse. Those are terrifying. I'm for children. They lead the disorganized attachment on a high higher up for sure but in the general population we need to recognize that even when there is not neglect or abuse which is called Developmental Trauma. Those two things neglect.

Mary Ainsworth Mike Caregiver Berkeley allstate Stewart attorney Maine Zaidi Dis Association belichick noncanonical inouye Baltimore
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Raising Good Humans

Raising Good Humans

11:53 min | 11 months ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Raising Good Humans

"In contrast like learning to ride a tricycle. You know not. Every member of our species is going to ride a tricycle and so to learn to write the tricycle. which you need to do is you need you to basically Have neurons firing together. Then wire together as Carl shots was paraphrasing Donald. hebb about that you you know. I say where attention goes. Neuro firings those in euro connection goes so when you're paying attention to the tricycle on your legs and your arms and how to steer that thing your brain rain can learn that so that's called experience deep pendant you you dependent on the tricycle to develop a network tricycle writing might You know okay. So I'm I'm just saying that because it's not really clear. Three systems seem to work together for that. Newborn one is Basically how I'm driven to regulate my body is one system. A second system is how I'm going to come to understand. And and be aware of my internal state I called the mindset system and and the third system is the system for what's relevant or some some people say it's the reward system but there's a debate about that but but these sets called the salient system. What's really important? So you get this net three read systems that are somewhat independent woven together in these attachment experiences. So what's relevant and rewarding. What's developing a sense of the internal mental state of others first and then myself second and then third how I regulate my body which includes regulating my emotions because emotions and the body cloudier very linked? So those three networks or what we mean when we say social brain and we talked about the attachment networks. You know it. Basically tree really exciting and important systems that get woven together so now when you think about it that way. You're one day old based on your interaction now now with your caregiver and let's just put it as one person. You know your interaction with him or her they you know. That's GonNa be shaping the way these three networks become woven together and the simple way of saying it is when you show up by. Being safes scene ensued food. Those networks are beautifully integrated and well-developed what that means integrated is they become differentiated from each other and linked and so they function as synergistic synergistic. Whole with incredible capacity flexibility for empathy for compassion for insight for self regulation self soothing And so for that baby that's called secure attachment when you basically have those three S.'s. And when there's a rupture repaired you to build this overall role model by one year of age right develop a strategy which basically says hey I see my inner world is knowable by another if my inner world is distressed dickering sued by the other. And hey this is really cool. Because I'm learning to actually really learn to be more autonomous. My soothing and I can learn relationships are really rewarding. And I'm not it's not that I'm entitled it said. I feel empowered to to gently assert my some say. Hey I'm really I'm really lonely. I need a hug not I am really long are not I demand. It's that I I feel. You know I feel whole in myself. I feel you know. This wholeness to engage in connection without losing who I am. That's what security is all about. So that's the first group and in the United States somewhere between fifty five and sixty five percent of the general population nation have this security of attachment as as your strategy as your model of attachment. Now what about the other forty five percent which in some studies is thirty three percent so somewhere between you know A third and a half essentially have non secure attachment with their primary caregiver so so that forms initially was was found to be two groupings and then a third grouping bit get statistically built on the other three. It's Kinda complicated so don't worry about the numbers but if you're doing the research of course you know there's you got to know these specific spot for parents. Let's just talk about as if they're three independent exactly easier easier and I want you to those things because I do think it's it's it gets complicated for parents to understand how this is relevant to their day to day anything that's because it gets bogged down in the semantics in in the research which is really still confusing. Yeah it is it is. But the general finding especially as a parent knowingness nece or if you're a therapist healthy team would miss or if you're when the parents journey to make sense you know. This is so exciting about knowing the science extracting the principles of the science having done this for over twenty five years with patients. You know helping them move from insecurity security And then being able to translate the bad as an educator. So so that's basically summarized so. The first grouping is about twenty percent of the population so again remember forty five to thirty three percent non secure. Now we're GonNa talk about overall twenty percent of the overall grouping so it's much higher. Obviously percentage of the forty five percents or twenty any of the forty five percent basically have what's called voidance attachment and hear what happens is it isn't that you weren't kept safe. So the I ss met but you're not really seen and you're not really soothed on any reliable basis so those two second S.'s. Of showing up are not there so therefore for you don't develop security security requires the first three to be reliably. They're when they're not there. Repair repair repair couldn't say that enough. No one's perfect. There's no such thing as perfect parenting so you can relax but the idea is no. These dresses said you're pair them when they're not being offered. So that is what helps security. And even ED beautiful work on rupture and shows that it's those repair processes that you have to make the ruptures happen because they're going to happen. It's the repair hair that build resilience for your child. Yeah actually I'm so glad you said that it really does build resilience for your child but you don't have to go out of your way to make it happen because it will happen and it's important because you know it's going to happen to say resident. Oh I'm a terrible parent yourself up for this You could say it's not my fault but it is my responsibility to make a repair and now what you do and this is. I think the exciting thing is instead of seeing these ruptures as burdens to your parenting renting or problems with your parenting just see it as the innate natural messy -ness of human relationships Whether it's with your kid the your spouse or a romantic partner or anyone and that instead of seeing it as a burden oh my God terrible. Terrible terrible no take a deep breath remember what at least I are saying now that you are a human being that ruptures happen and then sentencing them as a burden or you've done done something wrong. See them as an opportunity to engage in the reconnection process that is often called repair. Not Repairing aren't something's broken. So you know you can sometimes get a bad but reconnection when there's been a disconnection maybe it's a new more neutral website. Actually really. I hadn't thought about that. I think that's a really important point. The repair is not meant to suggest anything broken. But just a reconnection from that serie connection the the in the research literature. I believe Ed and other people are trying to do. Use The word mismatch repair thank you. I'm aren't happy wrong. About many people do so we can instead say it's mismatch and then rematch or something or or disconnection in connection are- connection so that might feel Just turns the feeling tone of the word better than repair but researchers but the reader is somebody reads it. You'll see repair hair. Yeah you will so just you know. That's that's what you'll often see but it's a reconnection okay. So so we say that. So that's the avoidance. Attached person is not getting repair when they're not seeing and they're not sued so basically that strategy of attachment by one year of age. If you could put words let's do it. The brain would say hey. I've been around for a year. I know what this attachment person can offer me and not being seen. I'm invisible I'm not being sued so when I'm suffering and distress. Nothing that happens. Interaction with that person is useful. So here's my strategy. I'm going to reduce my attachment richman drive. Meaning I'm going to reduce the internal motivation to seek proximity to get close to my attachment figure and therefore for by twelve months of age or read. I'm avoiding their return on a separation reunion paradigm called the infant strange situation. And and that's an overall way of describing. Basically my strategy is this. I don't need anyone. I'm okay on my own. So it's a very organized. Kind of premature form of independence when in fact life is really about interdependence but not for these kids and their and then strain yeah. I can't depend on anybody else. They don't see me and they don't sue me so it's not like I'm neglected. Were unsafe so. This is the key tips from neglect is not like a prison without an attachment figure. I get fed. I get taken to my classes. You know I get safe. No one's lamey running the streets Neglected is there's a lack of emotional connection between me and my my attachment figure so that's avoiding attachment and when they grow open to adults as a tendency first of all for the parents to have a certain adult attachment stance and then as as I grow up. I'M GONNA not hundred percent by any means. And but I have a tendency to develop what's called a dismissing attachment which is what my parent would have had and that is where when you do this thing called the adult attachment interview. A I in that interview. What you're assessing is? How is this parent made sense of their life? The two key characteristics of the for the the parent was very likely to have their child is avoid L- attached to them is called dismissing and the two characteristic findings of that are I say a relationships don't matter what's the next question and I don't remember my history relationships which is really in what's called incoherent because how can you insist that relationships don't matter and you at the same time say I don't remember anything about relationships. So that's the classic finding in one on sits at the population as a lot of people. That's a lot of people a lot of people so you may be related to one you know in some ways so recognize it in couples therapy. You know when I write about couples therapy. You know it's when you do Work work with the A. I.. Findings in mind do on everybody. In the couple's work you know you really taking the strategy of survival which is totally understandable in this case. I couldn't depend on my my caregiver to see me or soothe me so I'm GonNa do that on my own but now they're in romantic relationships they use the same strategy eight for their partner so the partner feels incredibly lonely.

partner S. United States Carl shots Donald. hebb Ed
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Raising Good Humans

Raising Good Humans

09:31 min | 11 months ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Raising Good Humans

"That's where policy genius can help. I don't know about you but but I find the choices and paperwork and even thoughts about insurance pretty daunting because inherent in having to deal with getting a life insurance policy once you have a family and you're thinking about the future is some pretty difficult stuff and yet yet we also have to be responsible and think about what is best for our growing families and that's not just with life insurance there's homeowners insurance and car insurance. We need to be responsible adults and policy genius. Is this really cool company. Tony that makes finding the right insurance a breeze so instead of having to deal with all that awful paperwork in minutes you can compare quotes from the top insurers to find your best price and you can save fifteen hundred dollars or more year just by choosing policy genius so that they can compare programs and once you apply the policy genius team helps with all the paperwork and red tape that just so overwhelming and kind of makes you choose something potentially in a rushed way just to get it over with so if you're science fiction dreams of two thousand and twenty still haven't become science fact. I don't get discouraged. Get Life Insurance Homeowners Insurance car insurance it just takes a few minutes to find your best price and apply a policy genius. Yes dot com policy. Genius will always get the future wrong better to get insurance rights hi there. I'm more McGowan founder. And CEO of career Contessa the largest online resource. Inclusively for women. I also have the privilege of hosting our new podcast the females. We're here to help with real talk. Career advice from CEOS authors creatives and other experts give you real strategies for building a successful career all on your own terms. Each episode of the females assured not only inspire but also to motivate you to take action and move your career for be sure to tune in every Tuesday for new episodes and follow along on career contests dot com in the book. You said history is not destiny and by making sense of your own story you can be the kind of parent you want to be regardless of how you were parented and I think that that goes hand in hand with this which is actually you and I talked about this a long time ago. How important it is to take the time to come to terms with whatever your experiences were that unfinished businesses from your own childhood? So that you don't impose that on your children and so I thought it might be interesting to kind of walk through the different kinds of attachment experiences that people have or people may have had in their history and what that can often translate to and how they can recognize it in their relationship patterns or is that too I mean. That's that's very much of the book. Stop this great. It's great. I think it is really such an interesting thing to recognize in yourself and sometimes hearing about it is just a very Aha moment for people people because they realize oh. I didn't have a secure attachment relationship and or you know. Oh I did and so this behavior of someone else's so unfamiliar to me so let's maybe walk through that absolutely will. Here's first of all. Thank you for these great questions. Lisa always great to chat with you and you know when these aspects of science and I know you're so devoted as i. Am You know to translate in the science danced for practical use. Whether it's you know in in professional settings like pediatrics or psychotherapy whatever or in this case. We're talking very specifically about anyone who's in caregiving role for a child so an attachment figure and that's often the parent. So let's take it apart and let me just say a couple of very very brief a science review statements and you know the initial thought. I think that many people have is. Oh it's what happened happened to you and your childhood that probably just gets passed across generations which is a totally logical assumption. That that's what's going on. So they tested in. Of course no one had videos in those days. no-one had done launched the studies. So all they can do is ask people like. Hey what was your childhood like. And what they found. And now this has been and done on literally thousands and thousands of people across many cultures with incredible Statistical validity is that it was not. What your recollections? were any way of what happened to you. It's out how you made sense of what happened to that. Predicted did with your child had a secure attachment and the reason people were so energized about secure attachment. Was that as studies. Later on by Alan strove a colleague. The mind and Mary's Would discover over a forty year over a forty year period in large tuna studies that secure attachment is the best S. predictor of all sorts of cool things. Does your child have resilience. Can your child engaging in mutually rewarding relationships with others is she or he or they you know kind and compassionate gearing story all the good good stuff. is basically associated with secure attachment. And and then you can say well. Okay then what's the predictor of secure attachment. So then. What they found was as I just mentioned? It's not what happened to you. It's it's how you made sense of what happened to you. And the reason that is so empowering as a parent and such good news from the researchers who weren't setting out to find that that's just what they found all these studies is that you can't change the past. No you cannot change the past me but you can change how you make sense of what happened to you in the past how you not only had certain experiences which will describe in a moment but what oh you did. To adapt to those experiences could survive so now as you understand what happened to me. Would I did to adapt to what happens me now. I can actually alter that adaptation because I understand it because I'm making sense of it and free myself up so I don't just imprison myself bypassed ebbed and that's why we're about to describe is so crucial when Mary Heart's on I. My daughter's preschool director wrote the book. Parenting from the inside out you know was is with this finding after I wrote it up in a developing mind which is now going into its third edition soon. You know it was all about making sense of your life and why that makes so much sense for parents to do But we often refer to behaviors as maladaptive and to me. I find it so incredible. That humans are so adaptive to the dysfunction. That's kind of thrust upon them so a child who's having quote unquote maladaptive behaviors is actually really just adapting. According to their hand they were dealt. And so. I think that's what you're covering is As you go through these different attachment styles is something that we have often looked at as a maladaptive behavior. But actually they're adapting quite beautifully to this crappy Experience they're having Yeah exactly well. Well let's let's say that point you're making is incredibly important and as we tease it apart and what we're about to discover we'll see that and I tend to use the word strategies of attachment or models of attachment residents styles. Because my teacher. Mary main would always at it when I send her. My step right publish said Dan attachment is not a shoe. That say you're you know a one dale. Okay you've been in the womb now in the next year of life. Let's say you're going to have repeated interactions with your caregivers and your your brain is going to have to have a strategy to adapt to what those experiences are. So the first thing just saved from a brain point of view is that you know jeans set up the connections in Utero for what the brain is going to have as its interconnections among the basic sales of the brain the neuro now when the babies out of the womb in fact even before their wound. Experience Start Shaping those connections. But it's it's in a big way experienced start shaping those connections and it does to ways. We don't need to give the big details but you know one is that genes are saying hey produce lots of connections lots of Texas Alexa visual system and then it does that independent of what comes through the eyes but to maintain the visual system. You gotTa have clear light coming through the lens of it'd be. I says a pediatrician. We're always worried about missing. You know a capacity in the Lens because after two years the brain structures that were ready to receive input from the is. If they didn't get it they'd start to whittle away and so that's called experience expecting meaning the genes means produce the connections independent of experience but maintaining those connections is dependent on experience that experience.

Mary Heart Life Insurance Homeowners Insu Tony Utero CEO McGowan Texas Alexa Lisa founder Alan Dan director
The Power of Showing Up

Zen Parenting Radio

08:56 min | 11 months ago

The Power of Showing Up

"Us. Today is Dr Dan Segal. Who wrote a new book coming hanging out January? I don't know we'll get the day. Put it in the show notes but the name of the book is the power of showing how parental presence shapes who are kids become and how their brain gets wired. He co-authored that with Tina Pain Bryson But I I I feel the need to say that we've been doing this podcast for nine in years nine years and we've done over five hundred episodes on every single one. I say this phrase and I'm pretty sure it's yours. It's yours and we stole it and we give them credit. Yes we we give them credit do give but we don't give them credit every single time otherwise it'd be a lot but we have said your name many times The best predictor of child. How's well-being as a parent self understanding? Did that come from you. Yes well I mean it comes from me. Summarizing beautiful research of the field of attachment yes gutters yes. Thank you for that. Because that's become the platform for nine years of podcasts. Is that yes. So it's safe to say that we agree On a lot of parental issues. So that influenced by your work But just to jump right in so obviously the foundation of the book is I For parents to feel say for parents to help their kids feel safe seen sued. And then if you do those things that'll be securely attached. I did actually read the book. And I'm not a fast reader but would you know what I spent rates through this one so that goes to show that this is a book that anybody could read very quickly but I fear of a a good way to start. Is You talk about the introduction or close to it the strange situation research study. And I'm wondering if you can share with our listeners. What that is is and and why you decided to include your book? Sure well I mean the field. In general of Child Development Has Within it. You know the field of attachment research. which is what do we know about how kids are shaped by their experiences? after birth and one of the most important things to know about that is it's you know aspects of your parent You with you as a kid that shapes you so of course. You have your temperament that shaped by genetics on but then you have your experience which is in in the early years especially shaped by your parents. The way the field of science that studies that looks at it is by. I observing how children interact with their parents the first year life so infancy and onward and in the first year we can observe how those patterns of communication are happening and then we do a paradigm the infant strange situation which means you put a twelve month old more or less in a strange situation where there initially separated from their caregiver. And there's a a stranger in the room. been the caregiver comes back. Then they interact and you. Are you know filming all this taping and then Dan you have the stranger and the caregiver go away. So there's no one in the room so it goes on for about three minutes. A the child can tolerate it and parents watch you can tolerate and then Then carry it becomes back again so it's a separation paradigm but what you're finding in the research that's the most useful is the reunion behavior of the child interacting with this particular parent. So is the beautiful thing about this measure from Mary. Ainsworth built on the work. She did John. Colby Elaborated in many ways by her graduate student. Mary main is to send me to sense what you're really measuring as a relationship. You're not measuring something about the child. You're measuring how this child with this parents given their history over in this this case when you're of life manifests in the child's way of dealing with knowledge the separation but especially the reunion and that's why you know in Developing Mind is textbook not now into its third edition. I thought it would be good for graduate students and undergraduates to know about infant strange situation. Ben Ben to build on bat to understand what does it mean to have a secure mental model secure Schema of attachment that manifests insert third baby in the infants. Strange situation that continues onward for the kid and interacting with his friends with his teachers out she will be actually in summer camp and then even tracy elements of it to how we act as parents or his friends or his lovers So there's some really you know. Amazing Longitudinal findings. Of course everyone is open to change. But there are these general patterns that Research suggests Sir. You're how experience shapes nominate the direct way that our brain in a sense of takes in those experiences but then how we adapt adapt to them. Those are the two things direct impacts and adaptation and. That's what Tina Bryson and I my my old student June. WHO's now my colleague and Co Writer? Tina pain bryce tonight do in these books is take the framework of interpersonal neurobiology for presenting the the developing mind and then molded for parents gail that accessible easily to try to put in. You know remember language so you can. Actually you remember when you're in the in the heat of parenting and that's that's what we do so I have a question about 'cause it you're saying it's their experience. And then how they adapt adapt so that could explain why like we have three daughters. They they're going to grow up in this environment. Maybe have similar experiences but the way they adapt up to those experiences may be different so the way that they eventually see the world experienced the world could be unique cracked. They may not all have the same Even if we had a pretty secure attachment the way that they experienced their lives could they could have different outcomes. Correct absolutely well. Here's the thing about it. That's what you're saying is so useful you know. Even if you had identical twins where you know their genes were the thank. Each of us has a way of having energy flow through us. Having the way we turn that into information. That's unique you know and so you might say well. The temperament is likely to be very similar of their genes are identical which is true. There's a big genetic influence on temperament but the way we adapt may be uniquely our own way of basically developing personality in which is temperament of experience. Now the thing that gets complicated is parents can actually actually relate differently to different kids and this is where it gets very subtle and from individual point of view very significant. So so let's say you you have a child who's more outgoing than another child and you yourself or outgoing and you headed image in your mind of wanting child. WHO's outgoing was gonNA be a big? You know soccer player and she's GonNa be star of the musical and you know run for the president or something like that well. Those are your expectations. So you may treat your outgoing child one way but then your child house more inwardly focused. You may get frustrated with an irritated with her because preps you yourself weren't appreciated for you were were. You may have a feeling of being inadequate inside of you. This where self understanding comes and so for the parents who may not have worked through their own issues from their a childhood. They're more likely to have what you call parental presence so someone with presence would say I WANNA see my child exactly Cleo. She is how he is in. This one's more introverted. I know I may be frustrated but I'm going to let that frustration go so so I can see my child sue them keep them safe. Let them feel really good about who. They are rather that they're disappointed me. Because they're not matching my expectation dictation

Tina Pain Bryson Dr Dan Segal Graduate Student Mary Ben Ben Soccer Ainsworth Cleo Colby John Co Writer President Trump
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Mom Brain

Mom Brain

02:54 min | 1 year ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Mom Brain

"Figure it out together this is mom brain with alario Baldwin and Daphne apnea. Hey guys. Welcome back to mom rain. I'm Ilaria and I'm Daphne. And today we are lucky to be chatting with with doctor Dan Seagull. I feel like if you've been listening to mom brain for a while. You might have heard a number of his books recommended by other gase pat on this show which is always a great sign. Line his book. The whole brain child was one of my favorites and one of the only ones I actually read when you buy like a library of preparing for baby books before you have your first I get and all of them. Go Unread and sit at your sit on your bedside table for about four hundred years This was one of the books I actually did read and it really. I found it very empowering as a parent to Be Learning about how to support my child through the eventual growth and education. She would have in terms of not I. Just you know being a functioning person in the world but internally like her emotional health integrating the two halves of her brain letting her is obviously I was prayed selena letting her feel her greatest sense of self knowing and power in the world as a result of that and it was a lot of it began with reading this book anyway. We're going to chat with him today. About brain integration about What was the word that he kept saying was not about attachment and about how we we as parents can overcome the things that we dealt with as as children ourselves? We don't pass them along to our children how we give them the gift of mind site which is how they we can whatever we can secrets I know what is it might seem complicated at the beginning. But what you're going to wait we'll have these experts that we talk the two that are they just seem like we're doing everything wrong. You look at your home. You're like Oh my God. I'm not doing that I would say take it. This way doing more is is better than doing nothing so baby steps and really what this is about is teaching our kids as he called it to listen to their own inner compass to develop their own inner compass so that eventually they just know themselves and when they don't know what they have the skills to problem solve and they can start to figure it out So you're going to see at this. One of the episodes of Daphne I talk very very little I hope that this is one that you really share with your friends. Because I do think that he is going to helping to make the next generation better than the last and hopefully again I mean I feel like some of his. His teachings are timeless. As we've talked about the his book has been around for so long So please enjoy listen to it. Many many times and practice everything is practice. It's not perfection. You don't have to get it right. Your kids don't have to get it right. But just a little little bit teaching our kids to listen to themselves in their feelings. And be able to articulate. That is extremely important. Hello.

selena alario Baldwin Dan Seagull
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Untangle

Untangle

04:41 min | 1 year ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Untangle

"They were the rare ones and some were terrible at it and their patients didn't seem to do so, well, if their minds were not being seen. So I went into pediatrics in ultima attrition. The child license Kaya treated men became a researcher attachment, I was very interested to see if this idea of mine site that had been what had saved my. Mind, basically was actually useful in understanding how people dealt with life. You know how parents took care of children, for example, or how to build a friendship with each other were a romantic couple, or a family, or even a school, or maybe even like a an organization so you can look at mine site at whether it's cultivated or not. And then see its components, which are insight into one's own inner experience empathy which allows you to a number of things including sensing the feeling feelings of another and imagining what is like to see from their perspective. And also, what would be like to have them? Understand understood in a way where you understand the thoughts. The feelings the meanings in that particular person's inner experience, as empathy and then the third component, so it's inside empathy is biscuit integration, which is this weird word for very simple process, where things are allowed to be different and then connected. So in an attachment relationship unit talking about fathers fathers day, basically fathers, who helped their children, thrive or mothers to, you You know. know, allow integration to be at the heart of what happens in the parenting experience. So that what you're doing is, you're setting might child is different from me different, what I expected her to be, but I'm going to allow those differences. In fact, even enjoy in thrive with those differences. But then promote compassionate communication as linkage. So integration is the differentiation and then connection. And when you link these differentiated parts, that's integration is, and so that's what gives rise to compassion, and kindness, and Karen, basically, of love and so inside is the first empathy second integration, the third, which is what love compassionate kindness. Are all about. So this really resonates with me as a mom of young child. I understand how that process of mind site is so key in my child is growing in developing in as a parent. My job is to figure out what he needs. He. He's crying as he hungry is as diaper wet. He you know has that look of urinating he has little irritation. What is it coming from? How do I understand him intimately possibly at this point even more deeply than he understands himself because he's still figuring it out? And then how can I use that to provide care? How can I empathize with him in his situation use that to provide care? And that active care is the building of love exactly what's amazing is Oreo. If you take a beautiful description of your connection with your son. You know, you would see it. You're creating integrated relationship, and was absolutely fascinating about using integration as a fundamental mechanism of our relationships is, you can show that, that crazy integration in his brain. And integration in his brain is the basis of all regulation, regulating attention emotion. And mood thought reasoning morality behavior the way you connect with other people in relational connections. So what has been amazing to me in the interns, I working with me to revise, this textbook of all, this is summarized, in the developing mind is that there's a ton of science that doesn't say this directly, but this sentence is, is supported by the science relational integration leads to the growth of brain integration, which is the basis of all regulation in the mechanism of health. That's it as phrase can you unpack a little bit more? What you mean by integration in the brain talk a little bit more about this neurological integration. How can give rise to self regulation, and all these higher. Order processes. Start with just a term integration. I in the dive into the brain integration is a word that we can kind of get a feeling for just by the name of it integration..

Karen Kaya researcher
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

Dr. Drew Podcast

04:19 min | 2 years ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

"But we don't understand when you go from large object sizes down to very small sizes, like the size of electron or photon that are called microstates the laws that govern the collection of those microstates called macrophage like your body, the nose Newtonian, classical physics laws that have an era of time. Those laws disappear and the kinds of laws that we understand for micro-states are called quantum laws and quantum laws, and you can see this in the in all sorts of writings. And I put this in the aware book, quantum laws can predict the nature of reality. The trillion. Power. If we had the computing power, they are absolutely real. They run a lot of our computers, so it isn't that quantum laws are controversial. They're just weird. Yeah, you know. And I had to put in the book just because something's weird, doesn't mean it's not true identity. Quantum laws don't follow rationality things. Not the body rationale there more about probabilities, right? Yeah. So here's what I think happens. The hub I believe, correlates with would physicists would call the quantum vacuum. It's the formless source of all form and it's era free. So what Heidegger may have been talking about end these ten thousand persons studies suggest is that when people been the air around, I'm sorry, when people been to spoke around into the hub, they lose the era of time. They feel God, the generator of diversity. They feel love. They feel this incredible expansiveness. They do feel the sense of being free of stuff on the rim was bugging them. You know, whether it's depression or you know the the, the emptiness of trauma or or neglect these implicit memories are in the rim. And sometimes we even void the hub because the hub, if it's this plane of possibility is actually I do this very, very slowly in the book. So excuse me, if it just sounds too condensed here, but the plane of possibly where wearing arises from high believe is essentially filled with uncertainty, whereas a thought like I'm no good or I'm terrible, there's no hope those at least are certain, does our what we call peaks as you drop down from these peaks you can get stuck in a plateau, which says, I'm terrible. I'm no good. My mother didn't love me all these things that you may not even aware are limited you. They're like filters of Khan. Business, but when you go beneath those filters into pure awareness, it's scary because it's on certain, but here's the amazing thing. What uncertainty means. It's a synonym for freedom will say, I gotta say I'm going through though as put a different spin on it and say, I think it unburdened us from the releases us from the burden of self right? And sell limited self. Yeah, yeah. Get put just brings this expansive awareness of awareness back to us and it's a way of again, like we always tell people to be aware of some bigger than yourself this the ultimate way to that. Yeah, absolutely. And you know it's, it's striking about this is. After tweet with so many people and publishing this book when other people have written about, let's say loosened Jin us or very similar, longtime meditative practice. It's basically word for word with people experiencing the hub, but without the hangover. Yep. I heard this language before, but Dan, I could talk to you all day. Now after get the ball, can I have to study aware the science and practice of presence? It's it's my my next project, my friend, I'm going to get deep. I'm going to go into this thing and I want to study it. So I thank you for writing it and I can't wait to dig into it. And I, I'm hoping that I adopt the practice. Let's see how how good I am at that. Even if I, if I do two minutes a day, I'll be pleased with myself exact whether you do it or not..

Heidegger depression Khan Jin Dan two minutes
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

Dr. Drew Podcast

04:33 min | 2 years ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

"It helped me understand why was so threatening to me because I get you get you disappear sort of into it and with another loving presence with you, you come back out and you start doing that in and out a little bit. And all of a sudden it's just like, that doesn't matter anymore. That's threatening anymore. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So there's so interesting you say that because in attachment terms, if you are not just you, but if one has the experience with an attachment figure where things don't go as they might be connected them, the emptiness of that experience gets embedded. I think in something called implicit memory where it it, it feels like time disappears and it's endless because in implicit memory, you just have this kind of deep sense of being alone. Disconnected despairing, right? It's bliss empty as opposed to full, which they wearing feels full. This feels empty. Right? So that's that. It's it's like dropping an emptiness and I can understand why that scare people. But once you once you gain some sort of mastery over thing. Oh, well, you know, right. And Theresa is an. Example, when you see her case of someone who had those kinds of things, and interestingly, you know, when you see the science of energy and I don't know how much you want to get into this. But the bottom line is the the quality of the hub which is open and spacious. Seems like a correlates with this, what you call a plane of possibilities. It's a place where all possible things rest before they become into form the formless source of all forms. Have you ever read any read Heidegger headed Garin Fleiss read a little bit Heidegger a while doing in getting ready for doing this for John O'Donoghue this summer, but Heidegger has the the, the horizons. These ecstatic horizons of possibility that are that are embedded in temporarily something bigger than temporarily. So he calls it temporarily Tate temporarily Tate. So these weird sort of there's this thing that sort of potential that sort of horizon of these ecstatic moments that are outside of time that sort of. If you drew, if you could send me where you read, that'd be so great to have it. 'cause here's here's what literally got of a lecture given by guide him her Hubert Herbert, he's a famous height. Garin floss were up at Berkeley, and he has a whole series on online and he doesn't just as you describe go on in the in the book to of being in time, he gets this sort of ineffable place of horizons and extends easy calls them and beyond. Definitely not biological time, but not even really temporarily. It's like temporarily next domain like next next quantum of temporarily calls temporary. Well, here's, here's the amazing thing. In number. Dreyfuss that does those lectures Dr. Great. Thank you. Go ahead. Look them up in July two thousand eighteen. The cover story of scientific American was when does the quantum realm become the classical realm? And just so people know what that means is that large objects, you know, function based on what is ignored, figured out these laws of gravity enforce and things like that. And in this Newtonian world of large objects like your body, large molecules, we have something called an arrow of time. Like if you and I break egged, we can't on break the Ed. So there's a direction -ality of change, call the era of time. So even if there isn't something separate there is this directionality of change the era of people to really drill into what you said. He's not saying there is a sequence of time. There's a direction that that change the time as we know it is really just a way of marking change and that has and it has direction -ality. Exactly. And that's called the era. And so here's the amazing thing it's now been establish. So what I'm about to say is not a hypothesis, and if you just read scientific American, July two thousand eighteen the cover story, it's just a six page article. You can read it, here's what we know..

Tate Heidegger Hubert Herbert Theresa Dreyfuss Garin Fleiss Berkeley John O'Donoghue
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

Dr. Drew Podcast

01:39 min | 2 years ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

"Yeah. And now let me I'm gonna ask you a question. This is sort of a clinical question, is it when I was doing deeper were Consec therapy, I would occasionally drop into Alan shore called trauma associated dead spots. Remember him referencing that, but I actually experienced stuff and that's different than these. This what I was just experiencing listening to you frankly, which was sort of a wariness by it was a dead spot and it sort of filled in the process of psychotherapy were just went away, but how do you prevent people from drop it into that if they have a significant trauma history? Yeah. So one of the people who you hear about in the beginning of the book here, five people and you come back to them at the end is so it's an invitation. If someone's experienced trauma to hear, I use the name Teresa for. Personal head trauma. So you re Teresa's story in the beginning of the book, and it gives you, it gives you a basically some of the concerns of going through it without a therapist's. If you are someone who's experienced trauma so that you might wanna go see therapist. I could've gotten into those spots without another human there to there too. I dunno threatened. Right. And talk about that exact. They were too. I mean, you wanna talk about it like it would time went away, but but also self kind of it was a little bit of a black hole, not not an expansive experience was sort of narrowing experience and having been in..

Teresa Alan shore Consec
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

Dr. Drew Podcast

04:47 min | 2 years ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

"Referring to which we can get into is since I did this in workshops where we would spend sometimes a whole day sometimes three days sometimes the week where we do the wheel over and over again. Then people will take the microphone after doing the wheel of Waren his practice, which is a you systematically go round at. You can do it from my website. We've had lots of people stream it from the website. You know, we just give it away for free, but in workshops, of course on there. And then people take the microphone and share with the experience. So when I said the patterns, this is not my, these are not patients. These are citizens of the world, all sorts of backgrounds, every kind of educational background. You can imagine nationality, literally, all over the planet. And then just basically because I'm a scientist to, you know, just record it all the results and then saw patterns that came out. For example, when people do different parts of the wheel, the remarkably similar. Responses, even though everyone, of course, is unique person. They say, in their own way, they're talking, for example, in the first quadrant or segment of the rim, they talk about feeling they sounds in a much crisper way or seeing the sights. So doing one thing at a time really highlighted those for the second segment, they felt parts of their body. They didn't even know they had, you know, like I haven't go through the SAFA guess you know, during the digestive system and kinda, whoa, you know, I've got these parts of my body, and that's pretty interesting. When you nets the focused attention part. When you get to the open awareness part, the pattern people described, it's really remarkable is even though they have a kind of bring it on attitude and say, I'm open anything coming in often very little comes and they do feel very tranquil and it's surprising. And a lot of times the word weird strange when they've never had so much peacefulness in their life. So that's interesting. And then when we do the part where they bend the spoke around into the hub itself. During going to believe this when my students come with me repeatedly to independent workshops and hear the same thing said from people who've never met a Tatum before or people run meditation centers, they come to me this. No one's gonna believe you said, I'm recording this. I have the data, but here's what people said, this is what you need to picture. They've now gone through the first five senses, the gone through the senses of the body. They've gone through exploring thoughts and feelings in memories and images and all that. And now they bent the spoke around into the hub or retracted to explore awareness of awareness. And this is what they say. Time disappeared. Oh, yeah. I can imagine that. Never felt so open before in my life. I felt connected everything. That's a meditators experienced too, right? Yeah, yeah. Well, this hub is in every human being. Yeah, and they felt love. They felt this spacious nece and you know, when they then turn to the relational side to develop kind intention. You know, it's this expansion of who they feel they are. And when people come out of even one session of wheel of awareness thing, there's a shift in their sense of self in that they feel more at peace and more connected. They feel more clear in their way that they're walking around in their body and also more clear in how they connect with people and communicate with them, and then we'll, we do the wheel. Again. It's not just a an afternoon workshop or something. We have to do it many times it gets deeper and deeper, and I gotta tell you, I do this as my morning practice, and it is such a joy every day is different. But every day is a deeper exploration of just what it means to be present and aware. And so that's what I mean by the patterns. And in the book, what I do is I talk about what is the hub. What is awareness and how can we use the the hypothesis that I present in the book for the first time in a really, really deep way, amusing case examples of people people I've worked with, but also going into the science of it. So we moved beyond the brain science, which basically says, awareness comes from integration, the brain sodas, love love, comes from integration, the brain, but what actually is being integrated. And then we get into a deep study step by step..

Tatum SAFA scientist three days
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

Dr. Drew Podcast

05:06 min | 2 years ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

"Supports the internal aspect of your life, developing integration to they go hand in hand. There's a whole self issue that sort of is imply well is I guess, necessary. I think discuss in all this, which is as you integrate your sense of self shifts to and particularly you integrate not just with yourself with other people. You sort of what I always tell the covering addicts as you see yourself through new pair of glasses, totally end those glasses give you both an expanded sense of who you are and they give you a more tranquil sense of who you are. I think that's right. Not your tranquil the word I would use, but as as you as the seller g us, what. What. Complete is the first word that comes to mind, but but being complete is also regulated and regulated and complete implies sort of tranquil sort of. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and regulate is so. So that's the that's the the brain port. I think it's worth just mentioning five molecular mechanisms of health that the three pillar training produces that are just literally. Revolutionary that these scientists have established this published in the most rigorous peer review journals. But in brief here they are when you do three pillar training. Again, the wheel has all three, but this comes from research when they're they're studied, sort of a separate. Mind, training programs, then put together, here's what it creates. Number one stress is reduced. You can see this in lowered cortisol levels, the stress hormone. So that's good. Number two, you actually see improvements in immune function. So that's pretty fantastic. Number three, inflammation which we now know is a core of many diseases that can be dealt with in effective way. It's reduced with three pillar training. Why? Because we now learned you actually alter the epi genetic molecules. These non DNA molecules that are sitting on top of the gene in the area that's responsible for controlling inflammation. It makes it. So the regulation of that gene is going to reduce inflammation by EPA genetic changes. What's their primary change? They're looking like CRP's or something. Well, what you can see change in in Syriac protein, for sure. But and other markers as well. They can even test the the jeans and see he's alterations in Greg, I guess it's remarkable and the two other ways basically, are we have reduced stress. We've got improved immune function. We have reduced inflammation. We have improved cardiovascular functioning so that you're actually lowering cholesterol, lowering blood pressure in making heart rate variability, more coherent, which basically means you're balancing the accelerator breaks of the sympathetic in Paris pathetic systems. So your heart is functioning better way. That's awesome. It's number four. And then number five. And this this like is amazing. But when you develop this thing presence, which is basically what you know, the aware because all of us, how do you develop this present? You're basically dropping into the hub of the wheel and learning to live not always in the hub, but from the hub. When you learn to live with presence like this, you optimize an enzyme called telomerase which is AJ chain repair the ends of your chromosomes less aging less AG exactly. In fact, when I sent the manuscript to Elissa apple, who with the Nobel prize winning Elizabeth Blackburn wrote of beautiful book all the Teela mere fact what Elissa wrote to me when I sent her the manuscript, she said, Dan, Dan, did you send the book to the printer yet? And I said, oh my God, what's up, right? That was wrong. She goes, no, everything is correct. She said you just left something out. I said, oh my God. After read another chapter, I leave out. She said, no, no, no. You just need to write one thing. You need to write. It slows aging. I said, how can I say that? She says, you have to say that that's what we've shown. So it's lows the aging process by keeping your caps on your chromosomes more intact so that your cells or healthier live longer your healthier you live longer. Unbelievable. And you had said the outset that implying the wheel, you've seen several patterns emerge. I soon you're talking about clinical response that I saw with my patients in here with patterns of for sponsor. I think I may have missed understood what you said. But you said, when you apply the wheel, several patterns emerge and I imagined Umit response patterns, clinical patterns in response to the wheel..

Elizabeth Blackburn Elissa apple cortisol EPA AJ chain Nobel prize Greg Paris Dan
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

Dr. Drew Podcast

04:46 min | 2 years ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

"Number three, the prefrontal cortex behind your forehead. It's Lincoln widely separated areas. Deep in the brain stem. Limbic area was classic called Olympic Gary. And throughout the cortex, I'm a little more of the dorsal lateral prefrontal cortex to begin with grows dorsal lateral. But if you include the anterior cingulate and also parts of the medial prefrontal area, it's sorta grows. Those two, I'm guessing it does the dorsal lateral first and then the the ventral medial comes in. I'm going to bet y'all betcha. Right? Yeah. When it comes to starting with the first pillar focused training would be more door so lateral, but the ants here seeing get singular gets in there too. So yeah, that's training but keep going. So then just that then the then The Fourth Way we can study this is something called the connect Thome, which is just the. Word connect with the letters at the end. And that's a new way for neuroscientist to talk about the more subtly differentiated areas. Like for example, it's more like small towns in the little byways in small roads that connect them. Whereas the corpus callosum is like the major four or five freeway connecting. Well, if it was the five connecting San Francisco to LA actually, I don't know if the vibe goes San Francisco, but you know what I mean? Last time I spoke to Tony demoss, yo he was working with that thing. It's a water based system that shows the wiring, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So the these three pillar trainings grew more interconnected. Connect on what's fascinating about that to two things. One when the human connect on project asked the question, is there a brain status Corlett a neuro Corlett with health, and they took every measure of health they could find, and the one brain factor that was associated with it. So we wouldn't jump to the conclusion. It's causal, but at least it's the neuro Corlett is the way we say is how interconnected your connect on is. In other words, have the differentiated areas or linked with. We're going to call integration is the best predictor of wellbeing, but that that's what integration is connecting connected. This. Of the parts. Right, exactly. So, so that's kind of amazing. And what we just said basically, was three pillar training makes your connect on more interconnected this, so that's like sense. And the other thing that's kind of both sad. And also I hope inspire. Some research is that when Pete when kids have been experiencing developmental trauma, which means abuse neglect. Mardi tiger calling mine McLean at Harvard. What Marty's Joan is that if you had to summarize, would abuse neglect this developmental trauma does to the growing brain. It impairs integration, how the corpus callosum the hippocampus, the prefrontal cortex and the connect dome is less interconnected. Subjectively patients always say, I dealt with, I don't think about that anymore. And yet that piece of disintegrated self is over there asking for attention through through repetition, compulsion and all kinds of stuff. And here's the amazing thing. You know, I'm revising my first textbook into its third edition, so I always say to the interns, show me that these statements are wrong negle- you mean right? I said, no, no show me one article that goes against any of these statements, and then we'll really throw it away. We'll test it will. Let's come up with something new. It'd be more fun and they go, okay, whatever. So that try, they try try. Here's what they find, and it can't find a single bit of evidence to go against this every form of regulation. You can name depends on integration in the Bryn course, of course. Well, you yet spirit because you're so wise about this. So that means that of course, developmental trauma leads to dysregulation of emotion, attention mood, thought interactions. And so what we wanna do is provide interventions that create more integration because that's what it all depends on the brain body system has to regulate as a whole. Otherwise there's a part left out in part is only regulated in so far as it's integrated with the rest. Totally. And that's where when you start talking about mind, why use the word regulate your mind is because it's more than just the head brain, it's the body and it's your relationships because when you can bring in relationships since your life that are supportive, I mean, think about AA..

San Francisco Lincoln Tony demoss Thome Mardi tiger Pete Marty Harvard LA Joan McLean
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

Dr. Drew Podcast

03:59 min | 2 years ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

"The only way to get this repeal is to text drew two, four, seven, four, seven, four, seven. That is DFW to the number four, seven, four, seven, four, seven. Yeah, and but here the amazing things, amazing things your words jump out at me client you said client? Not patient, I was that struck us patient, but because we may have some of our colleagues where psychotherapists and we use the word client. I don't. There's a big war you may know in in the field that I'm in mental health. You know where if I only say patient, it gets psychologists, some psychologists, some social workers, masters level folks really feeling left out. And so what I've learned over the years of being an educator, it's nothing of my mind. It's not hard for me to say patients in clients, whatever fast. Okay. Yeah, so that's why I do it. I don't call people clients that come to me, but when speaking to other being close if I get it, yeah, I don't want anyone to feel left out, but you're, I'm very attuned to. You and your language so carefully. Listen, it's interesting. I mean, there are reasons to use both words. I have colleagues of mine who are psychologists, and they actually made a big pitch in this beautiful book on mindfulness and education to use the word patient because they felt client was to insulting these are psychologists, so goes all sorts of directions. I. So I just use both just to make sure don't feel okay, interrupted you. Go ahead. Yes. So here's what we know that as mind boggling. First of all, three pillar training is just a simple way to talk about mindful awareness, training plus compassion training that some people put into mindless, you just void. Again, the people are like not agree. If you use the word mind training everyone's on board. So let's just call mine training and you asked how you do it. What it is is you take a certain number of minutes as regularly as you can. So you might say every day, but don't worry if you skip a day or two, it's kind of like brushing your teeth in a way because you don't say I'm to brush my teeth once a once a year. You know you like how your breath smells even to yourself. So you wanna try to do this regularly and it's a kind of form just like dental hygiene. I think it's a form of mental hygiene where you're really keeping things fresh in. This is how it works. You take. You're probably it's probably about a minimum of dozen minutes day. Perhaps you can do shorter, but an ad other things in the long story was researchers were in a big discussion, what's the minimum amount of time? So that's a complicated story. Actually, it's better to say, start with two minutes a day. So people get started than just say, start with twenty minutes, then known ever does anything. So you wanted people to do it. It's just, I say, oh, I can't exercise thirty minutes. I'm going to do nothing. Note walked for five minutes. That's fine. So it's that kind of thing. So the first thing is when you do three pillar training, which the wheel of awareness, fortunately just has all three built into one practice. Usually they're separate practices, but here's what the science shows. First of all, in terms of the brain, you're going to grow a more integrated brain, and I don't know how much detail the Greek terms. You want me to go into for brain parts, but. And I'm happy to go all the way you want here. Okay. So you're growing the corpus callosum that connects the differentiated left and right sides of the brain. So it's very integrative structure gets bigger with three pillar training. Number two. The hippocampus is a hugely integrative. Circuit. So it connects widely separated memory systems to each other links them together..

DFW thirty minutes twenty minutes five minutes two minutes
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

Dr. Drew Podcast

05:08 min | 2 years ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

"She wrote to me that Billy was doing beautifully in her class, you know, and it's kind of the basis of emotional intelligence if you think about it. Well, it sounds like a version of CBT ranked. It's almost CBT in DT together. Am I getting that wrong? You know, cognitive behavior therapy. Let me think about that for a moment. Certainly teaches you to think about your thoughts that's true. Doesn't talk about integrating conscious, but yeah. So you're thinking about thoughts that's drew DBT does use mindful awareness in part of its processing, so it would overlap with that? Yeah, and it would. It has. It was interesting when you do the wheel in this gets to adults as a practice. It actually by good fortune overlaps with three pillars of mind training where here, here's where they are. You develop focused attention and you do this in the first two quadrants of the, you know, the rim where you're focusing. On the sense Asians from the outside world in the body. Then the second pillar is called open awareness where you learn to just basically sit in the hub in invited in. You do that on third segment. And when you're bending spoke around, then they third pillar of mine. Train research shows helps really exciting ways a moment. You know that third pillars is basic called compassion training or loving kindness training. I just call it training kind intention. So you're training intention to be kind awareness to be open and attention to be focused. And so those three fundamental elements highways. I always creep me on that one piece of this exhaust during overlap CBT DT were also overlapping with mindfulness practice. Some people would call it mindful awareness training and define other people would insist on saying that the three pillars are mind training that would overlap the first two with mindfulness and other people would say, let's separate out compassion training. So it's a little bit of a debate in the field. It's interesting because compassionate trae was the one that I separated out as I was gonna ask you about because it always seemed to me and I weigh off on this, but it always seemed to me that the best way to. Got to choose my words, carefully grow compassion is to be to be the subject of focused compassionate awareness by another human. Am I wrong on that will now you're talking about everyday life where you're doing training therapy, Hugh declare, I I know my own experience was, you know, when I was the focus of an attuned other a deep focus, it expanded my compassion for other people, and I just thought that seems like how that develops is mom, you know, focusing on baby, whatever that that attuned exchange to me feels like we're a lot of compassion has generated. I think you're absolutely right. I mean, you know, my background research is as an attachment researcher and we studied that exactly the kind of relationship you're talking about, and I would agree with you a hundred percent that you know the origins developmentally of really caring about others. But even about caring for one's inner life to starts with the parents out relationship. Some people are fortunate, you know about a half to two thirds to have such a positive relationship, and depending on the studies give any and this country, what's that many in this country? I'm shocked to hear this. Happy to know phrases now several decades ago in the new studies showing a little bit lower. Yeah. Two, two thirds of people have what's called secure attachment. Yeah, reps crazy. But I guess those aren't the ones we hear about. Thing. Sarah making the noise I know. But. The pile-on them to say the same thing I said essentially, again, which is the and that can be healed. If you didn't get that with a certain kind of emotional focused attachment oriented kind of intervention by professional, right? Yeah. So that's exactly right. So psychotherapy is sometimes really needed. If if non secure attachment was your history, especially and you didn't learn the power of being a, we connected to another person feeling felt by them. Now you can say, we'll where does mind training come in? And interestingly, they can be very supportive of each other. So that in therapy I urge the people I work with as my patients, my clients, you know, to do these mind training practices for reasons. I can tell you in just one moment, but if someone's only doing mine training, sometimes that works. But if they've had some pretty hard relational traumas. It's sometimes also good to add an excellent relational based therapy in your in your life. That sounds right. Well, one of the most crucial opponents of addiction recovery is keeping people.

Billy trae researcher Hugh Sarah hundred percent
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

Dr. Drew Podcast

01:58 min | 2 years ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

"Child at home consciousness is needed for growth in change. That's that statement. Number one statement. Number two is the second facet of mind consciousness. It's something that you could actually think about how to use it to create health, and then you come the issue that you said, well, do we have a definition of health on the field? I'm in, we do offer a definition of both the mind and health called interpersonal neurobiology. And the bottom line of that is a process called integration, which is differentiating stuff making. Them different, allowing them to be special like you and me, we can be different and as you and I talked to each other, that's changing my grammar. There you go. You and me. As we as we realized you can be different from me, that's differentiating, but then we have compassionate, respectful communication. That's Lincoln when you balance this linkage in differentiation, you get something. We'll just going to call integration and through about twenty five years of trying to study this stuff. Here's the simple statement health, including mental health comes from integration. Now, you used to also include a dapper -bility, those sorts of words. Yeah. So the outcome of integration is this faces flow, so it's flexible, f- adaptive. A c. is coherent, which means basically resilient and holding together over time. E is energized, Esa stable that that's kind of the if you look at the science of these systems that are self organizing that faces flow is what the mind is all about. Actually, a healthy mind creates integration. That's how great the adaptability referring to. I'm going to review it again. Just make sure people heard what you said. Flexible, flexibility, adaptability, coherent, resilience, energizing energy, energy level energized and statement in stable. So resilience is basically what the mathematical term coherence means. So you don't..

Lincoln twenty five years
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

Dr. Drew Podcast

04:07 min | 2 years ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

"Time of pocket is where Apocrypha is the father. Modern medicine said mind is simply what the brain does and medicine followed that for literally twenty five hundred years and psychology since the time of William James was saying the same thing eighteen ninety the father of modern psychology said the same thing basically. So that's not new Deseo mind is the brain that's actually old news and so you're very astute two point. Okay. I'm saying regulate the mind and I truly mean that. So what's the difference? Well, the word mind actually doesn't have a fix definition in the fields that work with it like psychiatry field or psychology like we don't have a definition of mental health. Exactly. Well, this is the Wild Thing. So the journey I've been on the last twenty five years is been to say, let's wake up to this and say, is the mind just brain activity? And if so, why do we have the word mind if it's just brain activity. Just always substitute brain activity. So drew if you and I were going for a walk and you said, Dan, you know, I want to tell you how I'm feeling. I'm having a rough time with some old friends of mine who are struggling with this and that we got into an argument. I feel really bad. I should just say, oh, tell me more. What's on your brain. Right? But I don't. Bothers me about about what's left out. The two big elements that are left album we do that is one is the bodily based phenomenology of feelings and in emotions of which really are generative those things, and the inter subjective interpersonal aspects of the co created experiences. Both are to me left out of that equation of mind, brain bingo, and that is beautifully said an exactly the point so that you know, let's say anyone any human being communicated with another human being with your friends or lovers, or family members, or you know, a clinician like physicians with patients or clients, you know, all of that relational connection is a part of our mind. Yup. And the fullness just did you beautifully pointing out of the body? It's the mind is full embodied. It's it's not only in the head. Embedded, it's embedded Abbadi embedded in relationships embedded social historical context, and people talk about off leading your brain to some digital system like impossible. That's something else. I don't know what that is, but that's not mind or not. This thing we're talking about. Exactly. So right. So you have a couple of things just outlined. Number one. There's the feeling like right now I feel so connected to you. And so you know. Open and energize. So that's a subjective feeling. So the first thing to say is that the word mind refers to subjectivity. You know, we have a if you wanna put it inside. You have an inner feld sense of life. You point out something really important is inter subject tippety too. So I'm gonna. I'm gonna stop your call that first subjective sort of a state of being. Yeah, right feeling of being no. I wouldn't use the word consciousness yet, but I'd say the feeling of being that would make sense. Yeah, beautiful. So the feeling of being happens. And you say, we'll, how do you know you're having that? And then you come to the second element of mine which is consciousness. Here. You have this thing called consciousness, which includes the knowing like I know I'm feeling open to being withdrew right now. Fair's fair. The I am already another issue. Yeah. So you have you have this way where there's the knowing and the known. And basically that's where the wheel of awareness came from. It said, you know, it's a long line of reasoning, but the to simple statements are if consciousness is needed for change, if you're working with someone with addiction or some someone with depression or just teaching a kid in a classroom, or it's your.

William James depression Dan twenty five hundred years twenty five years
"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

Dr. Drew Podcast

04:44 min | 2 years ago

"dr dan siegel" Discussed on Dr. Drew Podcast

"Great to be here with you, and I miss you in person back to your book, the developing mind about relationships. I would much rather have the tune -ment of two bodies here in space, but I'll take the Persada voice on the distance guess LA traffic has prevailed and we will get together soon. You betcha. So tell us about, I talked to always about a million things, but let's start with the book aware. Yeah. Well, the book came out of combining to scientific ideas into a very accessible practice called the wheel of awareness, and I did it. I with my patients, and they started responding in a really positive way with a decrease in exile and mild to moderate depression was diminished. People with trauma founded a really helpful to work with and just Xs dental issues. If you know why we here in finding meaning and connection life. It helped with that too. So I started teaching my students and therapists, and they started finding for their own personal lives. It was helpful. They did with their clients once they got to be familiar with themselves. And then as a scientist, I decided to go out and do this in workshops conduct preliminary assessment of it. But I did it with ten thousand people. And and I recorded the results and it was remarkable no matter where I was on the planet, no matter whether someone was running a meditation centre or never mitigated before in their life. People had of course unique experiences, but there were patterns when you ten thousand people you started to see. And that really led me to ask the question, why is the wheel of awareness so helpful? What is the mind really about what is consciousness? And that's what I wrote the book aware about is how to do the wheel of organised give the benefits in your life. And then you dive really deeply step by step with my daughter's drawings in the book of showing you visually would all this looks like how you can understand what your mind is and use that for helping your life become better. I feel like you're wheel of awareness was in mind site to not. It absolutely was. There was a story, a number of people, but one of the main stories was. Jonathan, a sixteen year old. And I talked about him again in the book aware because it was such a powerful experience of a young person who you know, have really serious cycling mood disorder, and his parents did not want him on medications for understandable medical concerns. And so I said, look, the standard treatment for this medications. But if you want to try this wheel thing, I mean, this wheel thing. Let's go over this wheels whose parents were too, and it worked. And interestingly, after that, David bits at UCLA with his own work, they did done in Colorado in Oxford University. He had started also a meditation program for people cycling mood disorders, and the results aren't in yet, but he's doing a control double blind study to see if you can teach people to regulate their minds even in the face of diagnosed mood disorder life, manic depressive illness could that meditation practice and meditational new means training. The mind could it actually stabilize a person's life and have their moods become less rocky, and then allow them perhaps even to change the structure of their brains, which is what we're hoping to be able to prove. But we know that that certain forms of meditation do improve the integrative growth of structures. The brain which are responsible for regulation. All that being said, we may be able to grow parts of the brain that are deficient that lead to psychiatric disorders. We actually may be able to use mine training practices that you hear about in there where book to actually change the brain, change the course of people's lives. Now, I know you choose your words very carefully, and I heard you say two things that sort of jumped atom. You said they can learn to regulate their mind and you said regulate their brain or grow their brain. Yeah, and I was surprised to hear you say regulate the mind. Yeah, because that's a pretty inclusive notion. The mind. Exactly. I mean, we're regulating the mood as a result of what did you mean by that? Because there's got to be a lot packed into that. There is no me too well drew. So good to talk to. Yeah, in medical school, you and I both know the equation that we get is from the..

mood disorder Jonathan David Persada LA depression psychiatric disorders scientist UCLA Oxford University Colorado sixteen year