20 Episode results for "Dr Bj"

The Secret Formula for Making Habits Stick (Minisode #14)

Broken Brain with Dhru Purohit

18:13 min | 1 year ago

The Secret Formula for Making Habits Stick (Minisode #14)

"Coming up on this week's mini episode of the broken brain podcast. If you WANNA make long-term behavior change for most people you gotTa Start Small. Hi Everyone Droop Road here host of the broken brain podcasts. How many times have you attempted to start working out consistently eat more veggies or incorporate something new into your routine but you struggled to make it stick It's easy to start, but it's hard to stick. It's hard to be consistent with things. We've all been there I'm there regularly because always trying new things my guest on today's mini episode Dr Rogan Chatterjee a good friend of mine and Dr Bj fog share with us the secret formula for creating new habits that stick and how it can not only be easy, but enjoyable and rewarding. That's the key rewarding. You'll see why let's listen in starting with my interview with my good friend Dr Run Chatterjee one of the most influential medical doctors in the UK and the host of the listened to health podcast in UK and Europe feel better live more a core premise behind your book feel better and five as the five. As you mentioned, it's five minutes and what you noticed. As, I was reading the book and preparing for this podcast and all our conversations which you noticed is that that extreme approach doesn't really work for a lot of people and often leads to. A place where usually like three weeks in thirty days in five weeks in somebody ask you hey how're those new year's resolutions going and many people here who are listening probably the same response? It's like. Oh like I kind of dropped off got busy right I didn't have enough time. Talk about why that was a big part of the inspiration of how to figure out how to help your patients actually do things that are achievable and doable in their day with the time that they have. The best way answering that drew is tell you a quick patient story from my clinic because I think this patient really encompasses. The whole approach in the book now, this is maybe seven or eight years ago. Okay. I was I was in a in a busy medical clinic. And a forty two, your gentleman came into seem eight. And he was suffering with the problem that many people these days are complaining of they'll be people listen to this podcast. Why? Now? Who suffering with these complaints? He was a little bit overweight. He was struggling a bit with his mood and he felt exhausted all the time. Okay. So three very common things now. We were chatting and as I was unpacking his story, it was very clear to me that his lifestyle was contributing to a lot of his symptoms. So I discussed a number of options within. And we we went through all kinds of things but the one that he really likes with Strength Training Says Doc. What strengthens do that to me? I'm in. You know I'm not done strength training. So was a teenager Houston to me feel really good but you're saying is going to help me with my energy. It might help me with my mood and with my weight I'd love to do I said, okay. Great. Let's just start there then and he said to me, shall I do forty minutes three times a week in the gym as I've read I said, Hey, look if you can do that that will be amazing. So he said, yeah I'm in right so I give him a follow up appointment for four weeks time he walks out smiling his face. Stunning. Feeling motivated that he's got his plan of action. Four weeks later he comes into see me and I said, hey, how you getting on He looks different. His shoulders were rolled over little bets. And he spoke. As at Haydock. You know what? I've not really managed to go yet. You know works being really busy. It's been quite stressful. The gyms as she quite far from my works. It's quite hard to get him and it's quite expensive. Have not done it yet K. And he looked and felt like a complete failure that he couldn't do white asked him to do what he thought. He was going to do remember dream in that moment I did not think why is he not done? Why Bust today? I thought. Wrong and why Why have you given him? The advice you've given him clearly doesn't feel relevant to him in the context of his life. So. I thought okay I'm. I took my jacket off and I said why I'm GonNa teach you a five minute workout right now that you can just do with any equipment because. Okay. So I told him these five exercises I modified them for his ability level. I. Said, what do you think? Can you do that because? Yeah. No. That's okay. Can you do it five minutes twice a week in your kitchen? And he said what ten minutes a week is that what you're asking me to do I can do that because. Yeah, easy 'cause I can do that. So okay I'll see you in four weeks. So he goes out I think a little bit confused with what acidy it wasn't what he was used to. Four weeks, Lacey comes back. Injury. And I remember when he came through the door his. Chest as PERF Dow, he's standing up tall big smile on his face. I said how you getting on dock. Man You told me to ten minutes a week right I. Love it so much. You makes me feel so good I do it now for ten minutes every evening before I have my evening meal. True he has done that for over five years when he tried to do forty minutes, three times a week at the gym. He couldn't manage anything. But when I made it easy for him. He now does seventeen minutes of strength training a week ten minutes seven days a week while you're becomes a part of his life and what did badly to that lead to what I talked about in the book I call it the ripple effects he started with that that led to him changing his eating habits sleeping bats at now because I saw him recently he does. have breath work every morning when he wakes up, right this was a million miles away from where he was seven eight years ago. But by starting small by making him feel good about himself. He does more not because I told you not because I asked him to. But because he wants to and that's the secrets of behavior change and you can literally impact the entire book in that story because the various elements of behavior change off there. And so you know I'd love to share its people what what what would the secrets in? Why asked him to do? That actually work because at the time drew I did not know the science of behavior change I was going on intuition and gut feeling as a clinician. It was only one I actually met BJ fog. Last year. As I always do I was staying with you and I flew off. To think Santa. Rosa. I did sort of become with BJ. And, we just hit it off like a house on fire and hit we what we loved was the either he said what's interesting you're telling me things that you figured out from Twenty Years Clinical? Experience. That my twenty s clinical research has shown me it was this beautiful intersection of me as a clinician what have I seen work with real patients with real busy lives and families it matched up at married at beautifully with his research which is shown if you WanNa make long-term behavior change. For. Most people you gotTa Start Small when it comes to change tiny is mighty say that with me now tiny is mighty there's no shame in starting small, and in fact, that's how often things get started. Small is how you build foundation start to push ups day not a two hour workout or start with five deep breaths each morning rather than trying to jump to an hour of meditation Dr. Bj. Fog is a behavioral scientist with deep experience in innovation and teaching he has personally coached. Forty thousand people in forming new habits using his breakthrough method called tiny habits. I've done it before it's fantastic. Let's listen in BJ shares why breaking our goals downing to incredibly simple steps is essential to staying motivated and sticking with them over the long run. Give us the elevator pitch for tiny habits and approach elevator pitch. It is the simplest fastest way to create new habits supported by my research of over forty thousand people who've done the method who I coach personally and measured results week after week. That's the elevator pitch. I guess the way you do it. I'm looking at the book it's like there it is but it can be somewhere like like this take any habit you want and make it really really easy to ridiculously easy to do. So say you want to read more. Will scale back to be read a paragraph. Maybe it's read a sentence maybe it's just open the book. There's a summer that was the habit all I did was open the book. Then you find, where does that tiny version of that habit? Where does that fit naturally in your life? And one of the breakthroughs ahead of my work was understand what is it half after? I opened the book after I sit down on the patio in the evenings. So what you're doing is you're designing this dairy tiny behavior into your life, your fitting into your routine where it will fit naturally just like you'll take a little seedling or a seed and. Seed. Take Root and thrive. So so it's the design process. So. The tiny habit recipe com becomes after I sit down on the patio in the evenings I will open my book. Now, some people think that's not very meaningful, and so they might say, well, I will open my book and read one paragraph it's not one chapter has to be so simple. So easy to do that. Even when you're sick or busy or stressed, you can still do the behavior. So you can be very, very consistent. The third piece, all of these are hacks making tiny reminding yourself. Connect I, call it, anchoring, anchoring it to an existing routine like sitting down on the patio. That's a hack. Because you're not using alarms or posted notes or whatever you're using your existing routine to remind you. Then, the third one is called celebration. You wire the habit into your brain by deliberately causing yourself to feel a positive emotion. And I name the emotion of the feeling of success in the book named shine. So you. There's different ways to help yourself feel shine so. One thing I did with opening the book was my book Marquette this really cutesy Smiley face on it, and when I opened the book I looked at that smile face and as I could for you BJ, you're reading right and that would create shine which would help in the habit. If you're a flashing, it could be after I brush I will floss two and you could look in the mirror and smiling, Yep, that's how you do it I. So you're acknowledging and embracing a feeling of success. It's that feeling that emotion that causes your brain to rewire and make that behavior more dramatic whether it's opening a book. floss. Your teeth doing pushups tiding the kitchen and so on. So we got the three hacks, the anchor, the behavior that you make really tiny and then the celebration how you wire it in. I want to start backwards because. I know celebration I remember going to your workshop initially, and before that reading a little bit about your work on line at the time, he didn't have a book and I can really taking away from that in your tweets in the information I can get at the time is that People are just so damn hard on themselves especially when it comes to change, can you talk about that? Yeah and I think you and I and most people listening to this. We all fall into this camp because we're high achievers. And were expected to everyday do better and better and better an I grew up in a culture of you're going you need to become perfect you need to become perfect. So when you're not perfect, you don't continue achieve achieve. It's very easy to not look at your progress but look at the deficits look at what you didn't do perfectly. And that's exactly the wrong way to transform your life. and. So with tiny habits and in this time of desperation when I was a big Stumbling across developing the method. What happened? And it was an accident you know I've. I valued my teeth and I thought, okay, Bj you're gonNA floss. One tooth. You already know how to floss all your teeth. That's not the issue you need to learn how to floss automatically. So it comes after you brought you're gonNA floss one tooth. And then because things were so challenging in my life, I looked in the mirror and I would say victory because I thought. Everything else goes wrong today which could cause it was a hard time. I got this done I did this one thing and then I recognized. So this didn't come out of me doing experiments or reading academic papers I recognize the going good for you jared literally victory I would say victory. That had this power, and so I started doing more of it and then a year later when I started teaching it in two thousand eleven, I said everybody do this thing this celebration declare victory and then as it worked for other people I started understanding it better so you're causing this emotion. And your brain goes. Emotion serves lots of functions in you and people listening to this. probably way more expert than I am on emotions neuroscience, but one of the functions of emotion. is to rewire behavior, and so if you do a new behavior and you feel successful in reading or in getting a cab or in lossing than that behavior, your brain will take notice in. With the dopamine regulation and the mylan she's adjusting it will become more automatic. And so that was just. It goes. So against what the tradition says about how you create habits. and. Some people do it naturally and some people find such a hard thing to do, and there's a whole bunch of people in between I was talking to somebody earlier today who called me and she's a coach and coaching people in a in weight loss and diabetes. And one of her clients was just resisting celebration. She said, what should I do? I said well, do this I've not studied this. So this is a guest, but I grew gonNA study at my lab and Sharing it here 'cause I'm pretty sure. It's effective but stay tuned. We'll do research now releases on this is if you can't go good for me or who or where to go or whatever you do to help yourself feel successful think they're vividly about your purpose and how reading a book helps you achieve the purpose by reading this book? Wow this is helping me in this really important purpose. So for example, my deep deep purpose. is to be able to teach people how behavior works so they can be happier and healthier. So if I were if I couldn't celebrate just by going to go bj as I opened the book, I would think actively this is helping me succeed at being more effective in changing the world for the better. So that's a type of celebration, but it may not seem as contrived to some people just. Just helping your brain and your self recognized that this habit no matter how tiny is helping me with this larger deep purpose that I have changing an old habit or creating a new one can be challenging. But but when we use science to understand the secrets to lasting, that's the key lasting behavior change. It's clear. There are ways to overcome the struggle and get the results that we want the results that we can stick to. Thanks again for. Tuning into this mini episode of the Broken Brain podcast to learn more about achieving the changes you want and making it easier on yourself and more fun for lasting health. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love task you for a huge favor Lee review or send it to a friend send this episode to a friend who struggling with making their habits stick guaranteed they're going to thank you for it. So appreciate you and I'll see you next week. Everyone I hope you enjoy the interview just a reminder. This podcast is for educational purposes only as podcast is not it's not a substitute for professional care by a doctor or otherwise qualified medical professional is podcast is provided on the understanding that it does not constitute medical or other professional advice or services. If you're looking for help your journey see got a qualified medical practitioner. If you're looking for a functional medicine practitioner, you can visit I f. m. dot org and searched their find a provider. Database portent that you have somebody in your corner that's qualified that's trained. That's licensed healthcare practitioner helping you make changes especially when it comes to your health.

Dr Rogan Chatterjee UK Dr Bj Europe Dr. Bj PERF Dow behavioral scientist Houston Santa white Lacey Rosa Lee dopamine Marquette lossing jared ten minutes forty minutes five minutes
How To Build Habits (AND Make Them Stick) With Dr. BJ Fogg

With Whit

47:24 min | 1 year ago

How To Build Habits (AND Make Them Stick) With Dr. BJ Fogg

"The foaming podcast is a deer media. Production Hey guys. I'm Whitney port and this with wet. A lot of you may know me from reality. Tv and the reality is a lot's happened since the hills with the which is dedicated to having real raw and occasionally ridiculous conversations with the people who have had a profound impact on me. Life changing moments life-changing people because on with web very little is off limits. Hi everyone welcome to with with this. Episode is going to be all about habits. I'm constantly trying to incorporate new things into my routine or form new healthy habits but it can be really hard to maintain. It can be intimidating overwhelming at times a little bit discouraging especially when I start to slip or forget one. This leads me to my guest today. Dr. bj fog a behavioral scientists and founder and director of the behavior design lab at Stanford University whose presenting his groundbreaking research on habit formation for the first time ever in print in his new book tiny habits. The small changes that change everything. I'm so excited. Learn how to get these habits. I dream about to stick and definitely ready to take notes. Here is Dr Fog. Hello thank you. Love me so excited to chat with you and even more so now that. I've like I let you to the bathroom. Okay so I just want to start by talking about your background and you know your interest in human behavior and how you got started in link. This share like a true story. Like a confession pleased deal. I was raised in Fresno California glamorous part of California in a Mormon family. Okay when you're raise more men. There's a lot of behavior change issues in behavior modifications. I just grew up in the culture. Of How do you optimize behavior and your life? Well I'm no longer practicing I'm gay. I've been partnered for like thirty years so that doesn't really but even so I bring that with me and I brought it with me to higher education where I became really interested in how human behavior works and over the last nine years specifically studying human habits. And how can you form habits quickly and easily And also how can you get rid of bad habits. That's part of the bundle right there right so. I don't know where I heard this. But I wanNA say Oprah said something like it takes three weeks to form a habit. Is that true? No No? And it probably wasn't oprah shame on you know sometimes I blame it on my dreams event in my dream. It's a common thing. People say twenty one days or sixty six days and so on but when you look at the research that people site most often for that it doesn't show that that repetition causes habit correlates with habits. What actually causes habits is the emotion that you feel when you do a new behavior so when you do a new behavior and you feel positive emotion for your brain connects. Let's say I'm drinking the SIP of water and my brain goes. Oh my gosh. That was awesome. I feel so hydrated That starts wiring it in as a habit. So it's not repetition. It's a function of the emotion that you feel so emotions crate habits. So what emotion? Are you getting from drinking that water? I mean I would think it's just a more physical thing that it's quenching your thirst. Yes there's a way to hack your emotions and this is a chapter in my book. How do you hack your motion deliberately? So you can wire inhabits curriculum usually so let's take this as an example. So let's take I take a sip of this water. Water chill sparkling. It's very nice and so if I can go awesome I feel so hydrated like if I can do. A FIST. Pump Argon Doodoo imagine how hydrated my body is and I can feel that emotion of success your brain then takes note of that and it starts wiring and drinking water and maybe even this brand of water has a habit so it's not repetition. It's the emotion so you're really designing when you're designing for habits you're designing for motions but doesn't that force you to have to be so aware of everything you're doing all the time. Does that make sense of it? It's a good emotions are everywhere right. Emotion serve different functions. But what I discovered in my research is that you can hack your emotions. Okay and by doing it at the right moment. You can cause habits to wire into your brain. Okay it's actually. It changes the regulation of dopamine in your brain in a way that makes your brain remember the habit and wants to do it again right because it felt so. Good your your brain and your body a working together that you then naturally want to do it over and over and over again. It's like working out. Yes yes exactly. So and this in my book is going to be controversial. I know I've taught tiny habits to forty thousand people starting in two thousand eleven personally and taught. This method called celebration. Which is something you do to fire that positive emotion on demand. So you're packing your emotion nor to wire the habitant so for example if you WANNA create the classic cabin tiny houses flushing okay after you flaw sweet tooth. Let's see this is why I my husband's Dad as a dentist. Estra smile is so beautiful. I was sent here today to talk to you about yes. That's the habit that I'm going to this. I was hoping it would be as meeting in the back. And you get out my plus okay. So here's how it works. So tiny habits you take any new habit you want and you make it as small as possible so not all your teeth just one tooth. Okay as you floss. One Tooth. Do a fist bump ago. I am awesome. Raise your hands but look in the mirror and smile. Anything that gives you that feeling of success And that will hack your brain and wearing the habit. Okay so when you want to start doing something it's just all about positive mindset Not Rewarding yourself rewarding yourself with like a positive thought at the right moment at the right moment it can be a thought it can be movement some cheer for yourself in whatever form that takes. I love that you said that and now word from our sponsor. Did you guys know that many conventional deodorants contain aluminum? Which forms a plug in your sweat glands to keep you from sweating yikes that does not sound good native St Odor and is made without aluminum. So you can feel better about what you're putting on your body. I Love Love. Love my native one. It's safe like I said it doesn't have aluminum. No parabens no towel. It's also Vegan and never tested on animals. It has ingredients you know things like coconut oil and Shia butter and you wear dior and every day. 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Natives toothpastes use a special blend of naturally Dr cleansers flavors and white nurse to deliver a great brushing experience without the trade offs of other natural toothpastes. Here's the deal. You guys a for twenty percent off your first purchase visit native deodorant DOT com slash with wit. That's native deodorant dot com slash with wit for twenty percent off your first purchase and now back to our chat. Hi I'm Chanel. Alexander host of press saddened a podcast and more importantly a safe in hilarious place for candid. Conversations about scary heartbreaking but always intriguing questions that make us all human piece. We me new best friend. You haven't met yet field your questions across any in all topics and offer our take on the matter with plenty of humor heart and that assery along the way. We launched a new episode of Preston every Wednesday. We'll see you there. So what are the habits that people want to form the most and that I'm going to have a second part to that question? Like what do people come to you and are like I really wish I was doing more of this? How can I do this? Like what do you find the most? There is a lot around eating around stress a lot around productivity. If you're a parent there's so many parents that WANNA teach their kids tiny habits because it helps them from the beginning these things so just really you know in my hands what you have in. Your Life Stanford lab eighteen months ago. We did three different pieces of research to figure out what the top aspirations and it just varies so much by who who chiming right okay. So let's break it down a little bit. Let's talk about food for instance Diet. I want to go into different categories but I think since you brought up the food diet aspect that that would be something a lot of people want to hear about. Obviously everybody wants to eat healthier right but it can be so overwhelming and you have so many people telling you this is the Diet. You should have this what you should be doing. No sugar no carbs Atkins Boban were inundated with so much information. How do you start? I have my strong personal opinions about what works for me. So I'm not gonNA say which dieter what to eat. But I will say I would advise start with healthy snacking. Find what snacking is right for you and wired in as a habit and then to a lot of okay okay so find what works for you. A- you know what I mean because it's different for different people and it's a process of discovery just like creating any other kind of habit. What is the best habit for me? Where does it fit naturally in my life and then you wired in through celebration so it once you know how to create habits and that's what this book's all about then the question becomes on now that I can create any habit I want. What habit should I have run? When it comes to nutrition sure I could say leafy Greens and fresh produce and of course right but to get down to the details whether it's low-carbon. I'm not going to go there right. Figure out what works for you and you can create habits. And don't worry so much about the unwanted now like the snacking that's not healthy. Start with creating good habits. I some those other. Half's will just fall away naturally. Right eight okay. So that's some diet Habits what about like stress. I feel like stress is just. I mean plagues everyone and it feels like it's everywhere and everybody kind of wants these quick fixes. How can I distrust in Silicon Valley were based? That's the number one issue within the workplace. Absolutely more than I mean it just overwhelming. They call it resilience and other things but it's really stress and burnout and I have done research in hospitals and emergency rooms to use tiny habits to reduce stress and scientific research and it works. I feel more comfortable suggesting specifics here. It's not about right. Three calming breaths so yeah. Meditation is a great habit but to do thirty minutes of meditation. Very hard to wire and is now has the time now so I when I was pregnant. I can't remember. I can't remember exactly what pushed me to do this but I decided to sign up for a mindfulness based stress reduction grass site and they started by having us do wanting us to do an hour of meditation a day and at the time. I didn't know any better and so I was trying to do it and I was like. Oh my God this is so crazy. How do people do this and now looking back on it? After talking to so many more people I realized that that was so intense to start out with and then I got completely turned off by it. I'm here to tell you besides. Please start flushing. Yeah is the fact that you couldn't continue as not your fault. Okay and I say this on page one of tiny habits if you've tried to change and you couldn't do it it's not your fault you just haven't been given the right way yet right. That's what this book's about say stress stress. One of the things that the nurses found very calming was taking three calming breast remindful breasts so not thirty minutes and not in our right and then you find where does it fit in my life. So for example Some of the nurses as soon as they parked in the parking lot at the hospital. That's when they would take three coming breasts and they would wire then is a habit and what happens. My research shows. It's not just the nurses but other people as you wire in a new habit and feel successful you will find yourself naturally doing that habit and other places of your life so that yeah so that three combing breath becomes a goto. Either that you do deliberately as soon as you after. I put my kids to bed more. Inadvertently you wake up in the middle of night your restless in You. Start taking those breasts. So what habits will do when designed in this way you have these ripple effects and they multiply so that that is a really good one another one has to do with self talk and the chatter in our hand. We always just turn to negative self talk. It's like easier for us or something so one of them that I do and this is about being frustrated by other people if somebody in line is taking a lot of time or somebody cuts me off and traffic and I'm frustrated. The tiny habits this after I feel frustrated. I will say to myself. Everyone is doing the best they can. No one tries to screw up and that phrase. I don't say it out loud but I said very vividly in my head and it just gives me more compassion a little more perspective and the frustration. That's boiling up calms down. And then I'm calmer and I'm like no big deal I knew also sometimes I'll say to myself like you don't know what kind of day someone else has had like if someone is like a little bit rude to you or short or cuts you off like you mentioned you. Don't you don't know what they've just had to encounter that impression there there other things are like more physical kind of movements stretch or a little neck massage just like you can't see me here out there audio land but I must hugging my neck right now. But what point during the day do you just take a few seconds and just do that right And once you find where it fits natural in her life like the other habits I'm talking about then you'll find you more automatically just at other stress points to relax. It could be just a hand stretch and so on so one of the classes I taught stamp about five years. Ago was all about this and you know how do we? We called calming. Because he wanted the positive framing not the negative anti-stress. Yeah so we look. We've looked a lot at this and it turns out you don't have to meditate an hour a day to have significant reductions in your stress and now a word from our brand partner so this has actually been such a relevant conversation. I was with my inlaws last night. They were talking about Uber. And the new way that you have to get an uber at the airport at LAX. And just how safe they feel and my mom was saying how she hasn't really taken advantage of Uber because she hasn't felt safe and I immediately was like. Oh my God I have all this new info to share with you so that you can feel safe because mom you should totally be using uber. So what's happening is Uber is really really really committed to safety and to continuously raising the bar to help make safer journeys for everyone for starters. All drivers are background checked before their first ride which includes driving and criminal history checks and on top of that. They rescreened drivers every year. And use technology to look for issues in between for any of those just in case moments that you may feel while you're in the car everyone who rides and drive with Uber also has access to an emergency button in the APP. That quickly connects them to nine one. One and now Uber has introduced a brand new safety feature called. Right check using. Gps and smartphone. Sensors ride check can detect if a trip because unusually off course and check into provide support. I felt really really empowered being able to tell my mom that and I feel more empowered even just knowing that one using myself ride check is just one of the ways. Uber is committed to safety. Learn more at Uber Dot com slash safety again. That's Uber Dot com slash safety and now back to our chat. What do you do like for me? We talked about the negative self. Talk like I find myself saying all the time I feel bad. I feel bad I feel about about this. I feel bad for this person. I feel bad. I didn't do enough of this and my husband had to say to me the other day like you have to stop saying you feel bad but what what do I do. I mean this may be a question for you. Or maybe it's a question for my yardstick But what do you do when you constantly just feel like like? It's a bad habit that you're constantly telling you're you're constantly feeling bad. How can I talk myself out of fat so I don't have a way to study? Exactly what's going on people's heads health? Talk however what I do see. My data is that as people do tiny habits and feel successful including the celebration piece especially the celebration piece then data ability to say. I did a good job generalizes to other parts of Your life so I'll give a true example for my life which may or may not be relevant a few weeks guys in my bathroom and Hadji with floss. I'd lost. I went to drop the floss in the trash can and I missed okay. Years ago before doing tiny habitat said LBJ. That was clumsy. You can't even hit it but now because part of tiny habits is you change by feeling good. And you recognize your successes. Instead of beating myself up I spent down. Pick up the FLOSS and I put it in the trash like good for you. You're the kind of person that picks up a little piece of trash. One fell in the wrong place. You see what I'm saying. So it just shifts so again. I can't like open up my head or other people's head in that's bad. Yeah there is this positivity that you learn to embrace and the new reacted things more in a positive way rather than the Self trash-talk Okay so what about getting ready in the morning starting your day how I feel like that is such an important part of your day. So what are some of the time you have it? It is most okay. Guess what there's a book. I only prescribe one habit and it's in the area. You're talking about exactly exactly so it goes. It's called the Maui habit. Okay I go to Maui tomorrow. I'll and it goes like this after my feet touched the floor in the morning. I will say you're getting out of bed. I will say it's going to be a great day. Did you say out loud or in your head? I said out loud or he whispered if my partner is still asleep. I might just go. It's kind of a great but then he'll hear me said I'm here I'm staying awake even when I don't think it's going to be a great day like I'm scared about what's ahead. I'm just so tired. Yeah I still say it's going to be a great day somehow helps and so that is the one habit at comes on page five. Let's do this people at seven words three seconds and what exactly what you said earlier. It's such an important part of your day. Start to in the right direction. Then when you interact with your kids or your spouse or you meet a challenge journal you respond differently to all that more positively. So you're headed in an upward direction rather than like damn. I didn't know how I'm GonNa get through this day right down more right. I know I find myself doing that. Sometimes like I'll be sold over wound by a day that I'll just WanNa wish the whole day away and I don't then I won't be present. You know no offense to you but I even did it today because I haven't today's was a really busy for me and so I was like a high. Just WanNa Kinda get through it and I envisioned myself at the end of the day and I need to continue like not only say it's going to be a great day in the morning but continue messaging throughout the day. I share something that really happened to me this morning. Yes totally relates to what you just said. Yeah so that thing. I call the Maui habit. It's going to be great day. I named it the Maui habit in honor of my friend named Charlotte who was born in Hawaii. Okay so before. She passed away from cancer even before I knew. She had cancer about three weeks before she was hiding it from my partner for me. She gave me a birthday card that on the front and I brought the car. It's right there in my bag. This morning I just decided to pull it off the fridge. It's right in my bag on the front of the car to says. Every day is a gift with a sailboat and she gave that to us in three weeks later. She took to our doctor's appointment so we knew what was going on. And we're like Oh my God and then I went home and I looked at the Carter in our fridge like this was what Charlotte was telling she knew would die soon and so it was that. I'm getting chills talking about this if I break down anyway that you know looking at it on our fridge and then my partner talking about it then became the Maui habit. You know that more to those seven words of saying it's going to be a great day and that every day is a gift as it is. Yeah let's make the most of it. It's so drill. I mean obviously tragedies happen all the time but especially like what happened with Kobe Bryant and all the family that was loss in the family that was left. Like it all puts those these kinds of things into perspective. And in what you're doing with the Maui. Habit of the seven words. You're not forcing yourself to fill differently. Just say those seven words even if it's mechanical okay. Say don't truly believe it. Sit because that's the hard part. Is that thinking about my day tomorrow. And I'm thinking about what I don't WanNa do and I need to stop that by the way And maybe take a deeper look at. Why don't WanNa do it? But yeah it's like really thinking about. I don't know the positives out of things as opposed to life's hard. Yeah it's hard. I mean I mean you. I mean and instagram and other social platforms in the perception. That everybody has these awesome lies is making it easier now. That's for sure. And even though there is a lot of conversation about that and I've I've talked about that. A lot of my podcasts and on my social media I'm very honest and open I try to like take the veil off and show people what really is going on behind closed doors but it is hard because not most people are doing that and so I feel especially especially my generation is constantly comparing ourselves to others. So is one of the things I want to talk to you about. Was this like my generation might be you know whoever's listening here this millennial MOMS who feels like they have to be everything to everyone. What are some of the tiny habits that we can take on? That will help us get through the day and not let me give three specific ones so like I said coach tons of people. I've also trained in certify people to be tiny habits coaches and they will some of them are millennial moms tell me what goes on so let me three examples quickly number one. Maybe the the stack of books that you've ordered pile up and pile up and that's causing stress. One mom busy. Mom found the solution by the tiny habit recipe. Like this after. I buckle my seatbelt. I will push play on my audiobook player. Okay was that simple. And that allowed her to get through the books that were stacking up and that reduced her stress. So that's one right there another one. This is a mom in South Africa. Her name is boo of all things. So she'd calm is like so excited. She was having a hard time getting her kids her. Just two boys to put the Their dirty clothes in the hamper. Okay so she read my book and one of the key things. Help people do what they want to do that? What what am I always wanted to do? They WanNA throw things news. Have she put up a little basketball thing over the hamper and her kids are like thrown stuff into the hamper? So it was that simple aligning what they wanted. What what she wanted to get done. And then this won't surprise you. Gratitude and one of the habits of that has worked well for a lot of people. As after my head touches the pillow at night I will think of one thing for which I'm grateful for the day now that it's a simple thing but what it does when you know you're going to have to check in at the end of the day of something that you're grateful for your brain or some part of you watch is you're looking for something that you can see at the end of the day so in other words the. Lens on what you're seeing the world is different looking for things to be grateful for rather than things to be irritated. Marcel. Right there was a little span of time where I was doing that at the end of the day for like two weeks but I was making a list of twenty things. That's pretty big. Yeah but one thing sounds a little bit because all you have to put your brain your soul on notice that. I'm looking for something to be grateful. Let me share one that I do in my life and this might be going for people after I start to shower. I think of one thing about my body for which I'm grateful so that could be. Oh a cut shield or the skin stretches here or my hair actually grows always looking for something new now. That is kind of tiny habit that I call. Meanwhile Habit 'cause you're waiting for the shower to warm right seconds to do something. Think of something about your body that you're grateful for and what I think happens there. It's very hard to study. This is that you as you start appreciating different parts of your body then you act differently regarding your body your help because anger and you're looking for things to this marvellous thing that we inhabit this physical body is really fantastic and by finding the things that you appreciate. This is where I making. Leap don't have science around this but then you find reasons to take better care of it interesting. I'm saying totally so. Speaking of you are tiny habits. Are Things that you do. I would love to know some of the things you do every day. Well I'll I'll share some. That might surprise. There's the obvious ones of eating the atmosphere in the morning. Rather than meditate. I've shifted from meditation to. I play a tenor recorder. It's like a flute. Okay so I sit there in the dark and now the last week retired been lighting candles and I sit there and just play long tones. Like and then I'll play some songs. What oh I brought a soprano play. Yeah no I really do. Have it in my bag? I would be down. Maybe maybe maybe as we close it so one early in the morning. Just play the even. If I don't feel like playing it I know like just take three breasts and get it going ships and they'll play for twenty or thirty minutes over the last three years. I've actually gotten pretty good. I played for nine hundred people in London last week and well. It was for jokes. Make them laugh at me but still Another one that might surprise people is it has to do the TRICIA. This is odd one but it works for me again explorer. It works for you for me when I go to eat an apple as a snack. I only eat the peel the skin. What do you call it? The only outside and throw the rest away. You know it's weird. I have a weird apple habit too but I don't know what it means. Every time I eat an apple I have to twist the stem off the ABC's and see what letter it used to be. When I was younger I think it was because like whatever letter I it came off on. I was like Oh. That's the first letter of the the man that I will marry like he would come off at all. My God. I'm GonNa Sean. Yeah okay. Here's what you do. It's such a random but now I have to do it all the time. You have just pitched me a softball. I love this. Here's what so. Here's what you do for any existing routine you already have. Whether it's starting the coffeemaker twisting this damn off the apple you can then use that to remind you to do new habit okay as you twisted off and you can't A. B. C. Maybe if it comes up the letter F think of a friend in your life who you appreciate whose name starts with the letter F. Okay so you do the same routine but then you map it to create a new habit you want. Yeah and I'm suggesting one. That's about relationships and appreciation for reasons that you and everybody listening understand right so anything you already do. Can I call it an inker? So whether that's turning on the shower. Buckling a seatbelt Starting coffeemaker walking in the door after you get home from work can then be your reminder. You can put a new habit right after that. So you have basically real-estate. You can already a habit that just needs to be reprogrammed. You just add something on to call it anchoring. So you tie the new habit onto something solid to already. And I've never heard the twisting Alstom era. I'M GONNA use that example in the future. Yeah I love it. So what about relationship? Tiny habits relationships One of the most important things I mean the the quality of your closest relationships is directly correlated to your happiness so happiness comes from the quality of the close relationships. So it's simple things so my partner cooking won't let me Cook so it makes me breakfast so after there's a specific moment after eight breakfasts. I put by the thing because he doesn't let me do the dishes either. Wow All right well let me curcumin laundry but yes so so. That's one sure. And then he goes out. He figured out weirdly that he loves to rowing in the morning. Like I wouldn't have figured that was bigger. That's what he lost. His exercise comes in so. I'm playing my flute. He's out in the garage. Jim Rowing he comes in. And I'm like awesome. I celebrate him. Sometimes I go get a hug. And she's not going to listen to this so I can say sometimes I'd like grabbed his muscles and go man and I'm genuine right but if I'm feeling that why not express loves it. He just being really and I'm like yeah look firm you are. Just now he's like lifting weights more what I didn't tell you my partner. Seventy five twenty years older than I am and so for him to lift weights and really firm up and take. It seriously is incredible. It's important to me want him to last long. Be Active. I kind of stopped in some ways. What you I think. I'll just talk. We've been together thirty years for a gay couple and how hard it's been with all the culture that kind of the big long time no matter who you are and what you do. Essentially is what's going to affirm this person and help them feel successful things that matter to them so I could prescribe stuff but you really WanNa do say for my significant other. What really matters to them. Yes what fails up their love bucket. There we go. I just started going to therapy and talking about me and how I can be sort of insecure. Sometimes and the therapist said to him. You just you need to fill up her love bucket more. You need to find out. What is her love language? Yeah we go okay. Yeah maps of that. So we'll find out what matters and then find ways to firm them in ways that matter to them. I mean that's what it boils down to. It could be tiny. Little statements can be little nuts. Okay so with my partner. It's like you know heat any. I'm on the plane. It's a simple text message with an Emoji as soon as I land just landed or like soundview random things throughout the day and it sounds simple. But those tiny things add up more than me buying something lavish rare Valentine's Day right right and then you know because I have a two and a half year old. Wow you sell I am thinking about you. Know my biggest. My biggest job in life right now is just creating a good happy human rights and so for two and a half year old. He's really starting to understand so much he understands so much more than I even realized understand. So what are some of the things that I can start to do with him to teach him some? I've been there. I know there are like tiny habits for MOMS and tiny habits or kids moms and so again. I'm not right. This is from experience from my coaches and all the people I've I've coached and so on is soon as you can teach your kids to do the celebration thing to say good for me. I did a good job because at some point. Thirteen Fourteen fifteen sixteen. They'RE NOT GONNA. They're not gonNA listen to you but if you can get them saying good for me to self basically self-reinforcing and if they can apply that to any behavior that they think is a good one they want to repeat more often than you're giving them a superpower to change a superpower decree habits and. There's a story in the book where one mom was like. I mean she's a working mom really really busy. And then she would celebrate wiping counter. Inert kid saw her and her kids started celebrating along with like go mom so they'd like did it together and that not only helped her wiring the habit and feel like a good mom but it started teaching her kid. This is how you you know. This is how you up your game. Basically your daily life because kids at this age they just WanNa do whatever you're doing. They're like little shadows she so if if you lead by example like we. He must have always been hearing. Say like Nice to meet you when we would meet someone and then recently we were meeting a neighbor and I said this is Sonny and Sonny stuck out his hand and said Nice to meet you and it's not like we taught him to say that it's like Oh my God. It was proudest moment of all time that emotion. You were feeling what? We're talking about celebration. It's that feeling of success okay. So that's you felt that naturally what you're kidding. Congratulations you can also find ways to hack it. That emotion has never been named okay. And so when it's when it's somebody else we call it. Pride refilling it about ourselves. It's not quite pride and so it's not confidence. Well I've done a bunch of research on this. I called the emotion experts around the world. Four of them my academic colleagues. And they're like they're right. There's no name so in tiny habits I give it a name so that feeling you have when you feel successful now is named shine shine shine. Okay your shine shine yacht so you're feeling shine for your kid and what you want to teach them how to feel shine. Oh you put your you put your your socks away good. You should feel shine you through your clothes in the hamper. Boom celebrate feel shine. Yeah that's amazing now more than ever. We just have to set ourselves up for success and others. We need to bring China into our lies shine with other people. We have to understand that we change best. Buy Feeling good not by feeling bad. There's no role for shame or guilt or self trash. Talk in this kind of change. Do it the opposite way. And nobody's perfect right but when you don't to perfectly like Oh adopt the floss in the wrong place or whatever. Think of it this way sort of like. Let's say we're redesigning this room and put pictures and chairs around and in the first attempt. We put that table in the wrong place. We don't beat ourselves up over it. We just make an adjustment right. Same thing with your habits right design your habits try amount and something doesn't work. You're just adjusted right. That's what it is. It's a process of exploration. You know there's a very specific step by step way of doing it. But one of the staff's is if it's not working tweak it tweak it until you find where it fits naturally and it's a habit that you love that can take root and grow We've talked a lot about like specific habits and Diet relationships kids. Motherhood what are just some of the the broader ones that you feel like are really helpful. Like if someone was coming to you would just like. Bj What are the top three habits. That I should definitely be doing in my life every single day. We've talked about some of them. But I'll give you three more productivity and in my view productivity is really a function of prioritizing. You want to be productive and things that matter because if you're in productive things that don't matter than so what so have a tiny habit of where you identify your top priority for that day. Okay and so one of the working moms in the book her. Name's Amy. That's her real name. All the stories are true but some of the names we had to change in case. We didn't what she did was. After she dropped off her daughter Rachel school she would immediately park and write down her top priority for business because their business wasn't really progressing and that was a game changer. Now she does multimillion dollar account. It's grown so have a habit of prioritizing I'm GONNA go back to the relationship one have a habit of you know. Think of somebody in your life that needs to be closer like your mom create the habit of texting. Your mom doesn't have to be a big long conversation. As reconnect there could be Emoji and a little bit of an interaction. Because I think that's so important and then from a financial perspective a big challenge have the tiny habit of after. I see something I really want. I'll say to myself I'm going to sleep on it now. I know that's not so like groundbreaking novel but you can think of it as a tiny habit. That is your policy. So if I'm in with didn't and I were in shopping for. We saw some great artwork in Maui and of course they're trying to sell it to you and I was like oh we really like it but I have a policy. I never buy it the same day right so it allowed me to push back And even announced to my partners like okay. We're GONNA sleep on it. We're always going to sleep on this and guess what the next morning. I didn't even remember. Okay one more question. Phones and Technology were always out of habit reaching. When we're we are a second alone. Have a second to wait for something. We just are constantly looking at our phones. How can we get ourselves out of that? Bad Habit this has been the focus of my Stanford lab the last year. Okay I don't doubt at. Ya so what I always try to do in my classes and my research at Stanford is pick a really hard problem. That hasn't been solved yet has to do with behavior so last year. It's that with continues this year. It's climate change climate action so I'm training professionals backed. I just did it. This morning professionals around the world how to change behavior so we can say this planet and really is small. Things can add up with social media. It's again different for different people and my research team. I'll just give a stanford resource than I'll get my answer at screen time. Dot Stanford Dot. Edu is a little shoot little character. We call screen time genie. And you answer three questions for her. And then she goes into the database and pulls out here the three ways that you know. I think it's a recommendation. Yeah Yeah so people can do that but certainly in your own. Life have the habit of or have the policy part of its policy. Part of its habits policy is like no phones at the dinner table. That's fresher or when you host a party. Hey everybody welcome ballsy in. My home is no phones. We're going to really connect with each other. Yes we'll take a group picture at the end but we're not going to be doing social. It'd be so pissed if I sat down. Okay maybe not because. Here's here's how I know. So I was in charge of my family reunion. Big Worm and family reunion than Idaho on two thousand nineteen and it cycles through the siblings so now it was my turn and I thought I know 'em you pick a theme every year and so the theme for this year that I came that I thought people would hate was airplane mode in other words. We've come from all over the country to be here on this island in Idaho. You can't use your screens while we're together and I thought people were just going to freak out. They really loved it so they had the same frustration. I had. It's like Oh everybody's on their screens or not really connecting and so anyway. If people want details email me but long short of it is. You might be surprised that at a dinner the people to party you have a home and so on to say no in our home of the policy. Is this your phones aside and we connect as real humans in real time and we're not being distracted so there's a lot more innovation that needs to happen. They're certainly you can turn off notifications and one of my former students. Tristan Harris advocates putting on a gray scale. And so on. What does that mean? That means you don't see the colors you just see black and white and according to his hypothesis it's less compelling but certainly the way we use screens is household issue so you can decide as a household. Here's when screens are allowed. Nears when we're not doing it and even if it's a couple that can be a decision together. I don't want to be too prescriptive about that. 'cause people should be able to live their own lives and how they but there are ways For example I will not take a phone into a restaurant and a Maui. I never take my phone to the beach. Are you kidding me? And then I walked on the beach and I see people live their halftime but I see tourists or temporarily. They're they're on their phone. It's like so just deciding and it's not so much about tiny habits but it is about designing your life and that's the broader picture of tiny habits. You can create the life you want. Just put a little teeny bit of effort into designing it and if it feels really hard not to go into the restaurant without your phone to one time and see how it goes right. Just say I'm going to one time and habits of your family says no were. We always have a refund table to say. Just give me one time right so just skillet back and make it so easy that you're you don't resist it right. Yeah for me as as a mom now my defense mechanism what I tell myself is like I just have to have. God forbid something happens like I need to be available. I can't just not be reachable but then I think like a tricky. Yeah like that's that makes it a little bit more complicated but then again how often I mean. How often does something actually happen? And then you're you use it for something else and you've probably seen this novel where he changed the Password. You make the password very hard to do. I love to save so you just so. There's this moment of pause launching instagram. I told you one of my students was the CO founder of Instagram. So I kind of smile and I kinda smile. I don't know what it would be but an odd way when I'm like saying don't use instagram. But yeah can really distract you from creating personal bond right meaningful conversation again. That's the close relationships that makes us happy. It's not the strangers on Instagram. Right so true. Sorry Mike former student cocoa he would totally agree with me on. Yeah Yeah all right well thank you so much for a year. I'm chatting. I learned so much was so inspiring. Thank you guys so much for listening. I hope you love to this episode. Don't forget to subscribe rate and review. I'd love to hear what you think and anything more or even less you'd want to hear about tune in every Tuesday for a new episode. If you WANNA know more about what? I'm up to you can find me on Instagram at Whitney Tort. My website Whitney Port Dot Com and my youtube channel Whitney port piece in the streets.

partner Uber Maui founder and director Fresno California apple Dr Fog Stanford University Whitney port California Idaho Oprah Dr. bj Uber Dot instagram dopamine Kobe Bryant basketball
100: My Top 10 Takeaways from Kwik Brain Episodes

Kwik Brain with Jim Kwik

19:53 min | 2 years ago

100: My Top 10 Takeaways from Kwik Brain Episodes

"Welcome quick, brain bite-size, brain hacks for busy people who wanna learn faster and achieve more. I'm your coach Jim quick three. Listen, imagine if we could access one hundred percent about brains capacitation, I wasn't high wasn't wired. Just clear I knew what I needed to do. And how to cook food? Showman. Quick brains. We did it episode one hundred and in this episode ominous share ten takeaways that I've learned from a previous episodes because as you know, this show began as our mission to be able to build better and brighter brains, and it's not so much an interview podcast show. It's really more of a masterclass we design every single conversation. Whether it's just me or me with a guest to turn it into not just the conversation. But this is a how to get this kind of results. And so it's really a call to action to start from the beginning. And if you haven't listened to every episode, I promise you there gems in there. There are real jobs. In fact, I will say that the lesson the treasure that you are seeking is probably hidden in the episode that you skipped so listen to all of the episodes because it. Created as you know, as an online academy mobile academy to galvanize your most valuable asset that you have which is your brain it controls everything. And so this is really meant to be an owner's manual on how to upgrade your brain how to learn anything faster at how to become limitless how to unlock your true potential because that's the quest that we're really on the quest to reach our full potential to be able to express it to be able to share it. And so I'm going to share with you just ten episodes just to give you a highlight of some of the things that we've done along this journey, and if you've listened to these episodes are ready than really let it sink in because I believe what robs you of mastery and transformation is saying, oh, I know this ready. And so you want to get really good at the basics and the fundamentals, and so let's go through just ten of some of the interesting episodes that we've shared with you the past couple of years so scrolling from the beginning, I'm gonna talk. About specifically the episodes. I had guests on because I know what I learned from my solo episodes episode number fifteen on how to create a brand new habit with Dr BJ fog from Stanford University. Now, remember, one of his students co founded Instagram and think about how habitual or addictive that is. And so do you have a habit you wanna start or stop? We did two episodes with him. And I really think this is important because one of the through lines we have in quick brain is. I you create your habits, then your habits crate, you the why is it difficult to create a new habit, and why is it difficult to break a limiting habit. So he shared with you. A formula called b equals M A T B equals, Matt M, A T the behavior. So the B is the behavior. And that's the desired habits you want or the one that you have. So that's the behavior. The B equals M M stands for motivation. And what we're saying? Here is you're more likely to stay on course, if you're motivated to do so right at five easier to keep a habit of eating chocolate cake sugar free gluten free if you're motivated to do so or if you're wanna work out, or if you want to journal of your motivation is high, and it's not static on a scale of zero to ten you could rate yourself those feel like a five like Jim ONA meditate today. But my motivations only three. And then what if you ask yourself? Well, what do I need to do to make it a five? What do I need to think about or maybe reward myself with what's my incentive to be able to increase it? When a motivation is higher. You're more likely to get the initial be which is the behavior. The a in be mad stands for ability with the ability that your training that your competence. If you will if you want the behavior of remembering names, it helps to have the training or the ability to be able to remember somebody's name. So that's where the system comes in. And finally, the t. Stands for trigger. And this is something that I want to shed a light to because there's very practical the trigger is the prompt that gets you to do the behavior, and it's wonderful because if you want to stop a limiting behavior like eating that chocolate cake, take that trigger out of your home. That makes sense if you want to work out more often or read a book, make sure you have your running shoes. Right where you could see them or the book, right? Where you want to be able to read because it creates a what a trigger, and then you're more likely to do the behavior episode number twenty five sleep smarter with our friend. Shawn stevenson. This was a wonderful episode because sleep is so critical talking about habits. How do you feel when you get a bad night's sleep the next day? You know, how the focus you can't think he can make good decisions. So we know the power of sleep, and he talked about many different lessons. We've done multiple episodes with him. Dr Michael Bruce with Ben greenfield talking about the power of sleep. Now a quick tip. The study he cited from Appalachian state university saying when's the best time to exercise seven AM one pm or seven pm the answer is what do you? Remember, did you? Listen it episode. If you haven't you definitely want to to get further instruction, seven AM. They found that the subjects that worked out at seven AM. And it doesn't have to be a full blown workout. It can be as four minutes of calisthenics. Just get the heart rate going but practice working out at seven AM. And notice if there are extending results episode number twenty nine goals done right with Dr Jeff Spencer. Now, we talk about the habits your sleep. What about setting goals and we've all heard about smart goals and in this episode Olympia, and Dr Jeff Spencer who also has trained many gold medalists talks about it's great to have the smart girls. But you really need to have the right goals. If you haven't listen or watch. This episode you want to do that. Because really you need a goal in life. Because as they say, you can't hit a target that you can see. So the are is relevant. The I are your indicators. And after that the g if you will is the gravity the gravity of the actual goal. What's pulling you when you're thinking about or feeling that specific goal? The h is the height and finally the t stands for time the other episode. I would listen to when it comes to Dr Jeff Spencer is episode number thirty one on the power of grit because we all times where we're facing adversity where we want to be able to push through. But what is grit? Exactly, and how's it different from willpower? And how do you when people say don't give up? How do you actually do that? Listen to that episode. It's about the difference between being persistent and being consistent. If you're persistent, you could get it. But if you're consistent you could. Keep it her next episode number thirty five thirty six and thirty seven how does supercharge your brain and your life with New York Times bestselling author Brendan Bouchard in these episodes. We break down the ten drives that make you feel alive. So if you haven't listened episode, make sure you download all and definitely definitely apply. It'll make certain things obvious if you feel tired or you don't feel inspired religions. Those three episodes episode number thirty eight eliminates stress and making Zaidi disappear with Nick order. Now. If you haven't listened this episode actually recommend for this one. You watched this. We did a video and this is all about the power of e f t emotional freedom technique where you can tap limiting beliefs negative, self talk and disempowering emotions away. So you can listen to it certainly because he. A great job doing it based on what you hear. But if you watch it on video and all our show notes. Jim quick dot com forward slash notes. We have videos of most of our podcast episodes. So this one he actually demonstrates the different tapping points on your body. The Meridian points in walks you through a process, but he'll actually guide you as you think of a negative belief, and you just feel it and you rate the level of pain or anxiety or stress around specific thought or behavior or situation. And then you go through the tapping, and then you rate yourself, again, it's remarkable to be able to see the progression and house, you could actually transcend the things that are holding you back dealing with these emotional freedom these points if you will. And if you like that episode also referred episode number thirty nine where we bring Nick back to talk about eliminating negative thoughts negative beliefs. Very powerful stuff. Next episode number forty three. The best time to do anything with Dr Michael Bruce. Now, Dr Bruce is an expert on sleep. He's extraordinary about this. In this episode, though, people are always talking about the why or the what or the how in this episode. We talk about his book the power of when and it's a real masterclass in this thing called krona types krone type is like a body type and because your body everyone's a little bit different. We express our home production, and so based on those hormones their different time types, if you will and you can identify the best time to do certain things. And so the four krono types, you have an early bird and a night owl. Which one do you identify with more the early bird? He calls a lion the night owl. He calls a wolf, and then there's a bear. And there's a dolphin. And then he goes through his whole assessment if you haven't listened to this the reason why it's important is because it's not just reading. But it's when's the best time to actually. Based on my body type to read to check my Email to be able to maybe work out to be able to go to sleep to do all these different things. And so once, you know, the power of when you know, when you're gonna get the most return on the most important investment, you have which is your time and your attention episodes number fifty one and fifty two I want to highlight this is how to fix a broken brain a lot of the questions, we get our Jim I can identify with what you went through or I'm suffering from these conditions or struggling with this or my child has this. And here we bring in Dr Mark Hyman who is the New York Times bestselling author of eleven books and also the founder of that broken brain series, which was a part of a we did two episodes on how to fix a broken brain. In the first one we talk about things to add. And we also talked about things to take away. And we did this whole thing. He shared a whole process for detoxing getting rid of the toxins. In your brain and your body, which your brain is obviously part of your body foods, like broccoli foods like garlic. That helped detoxify we talk about power of heat therapy and saunas and when you go through a sauna using like charcoal afterwards to help pull out the toxins out of your body. So Dr Mark Hyman is an expert in this field. And if this resonates with you, make sure you listen or re listen to those episodes episode number fifty five creating smart learning organizations and teams with vicious lock yadi. Now, this was a really popular episode because many of you have relationships whether it's with work or with your family, and you're thinking, how do I get them committed to really utilize all this incredible resources human capital, if you will how do we find their passions? So that they feel lit up when they're working in here. He shows a model of framework if you will to help people define more of their dries ole setting around three things. Number one. It was around experiences. What experiences do your team wanna be able to enjoy number two growth who do they have to become in order to be able to experience those experiences if you will so their growth goals, and then finally the third one are there impact or their contribution goals that tried them. So when they're growing they have more to be able to what give because I really do believe the processes you learn to earn. So he could return. Learn earn return and be do have share. Right. And because once you be a certain thing, or you believe that you can do those activities of the behaviors and get have those results would others resists might be. And then finally, what do you want to do with those you want to share them with other people because we talk about the power of giving in our episode. We talked about the four jeeze about growth about grit about gratitude and the power of giving and how it rewires your nervous. This system and how altruism the power of altruism, which we talked about another episode and helps you stay in what they call that flow state. So if you a listen to this episode with fish and lock Ianni highly recommend if you have a team, you have a family that you wanna get really passionate about learning and growing and contributing this would be the episode and episode number seventy nine using the power of your majesty Shen for more, courage, more creativity and more what change because a lot of people. They want to change something in their life. And we brought on Beth Comstock, former vice chair of General Electric incredible learning leader, a learning leader someone who learns all the time. So they could lead at the highest level. I mean at the time she had over three hundred thousand employees, and it was all about using immagination at work and in your life, and she talked about failure and the power of making mistakes and how for yourself. From the concern of making mistakes with other people because she as an introvert would sit in boardrooms, and she would have these ideas. But how do you use your imagination in a way that feels good for you to have courage to be able to express those ideas and be willing to make a mistake? In fact, when we talk about mistakes, it's like mistakes, don't make you you make mistakes, but they don't make you. And she said if failure is not an option than neither is success and so- reframe, what failure is when you take a child, and he or she falls five six seven times. They don't give up. They don't like all not gonna walk anymore. Right. But as adults sometimes we do this because we suffer from this learned helplessness. So I would encourage you if you wanna use imagination and put it tore work towards your life towards your career to have greater courage to have greater creativity or make bigger changes in your life religions at episode. Now, you see the through line of what I'm talking about. In these ten there. Many more. Obviously that we could pull out of this. I would recommend you go to the one that really inspired you the most the one that you feel pulled towards the one thing. All these experts would agree on is that knowledge is not power that only becomes power. When you what when you utilize it because all the podcast episodes and coaching and even all our speed reading and online programs. None of it works unless you work. And so I'm courage. You put this to us and to help you to be able to do that over the next few weeks. We're gonna do something really special. We're going to create a quick challenge. You could actually go to quick challenge dot com. If you want inspiration and motivation to be able to take on new things and change your habits and do the things that I just talked about in this episode. We're gonna make a free challenge where every single week I'm gonna give you a new challenge, and we're all going to do it together, and they'll be prizes because as you know, many of you are doing our one book week challenge, which we've done for a couple years now where every single week we send out books Amazon gift cards for people who post pictures of the books that they're reading. They're big house with everybody else. We want you to fall in love with learning again. So if you want to be part of this quick challenge and put this knowledge into action and turn into real power because knowing is half the battle, but applying is the other half. So go to quick challenge dot com. K W H challenge dot com. You get all the details there, and we'll go through every single week. I'll challenge you to get to the next level of your learning and also to your life take a screen shot of this share your big aha from this your favorite episodes. If you have a favorite episode and thank you again for making this podcast. So successful every time you listen to it every time you share it every time, you subscribe or leave a review our team. It's the biggest joy, we have because we know what's in this podcast. And we know what's in, you know, as I say your life is like AIG that's broken by an outside force life ends. But it was broken by an inside force life begins rate things began on the inside. And you have greatness inside of you. You have genius inside of you. And today the crate time to let it out. I'll see you in the next episode. Want to double your brain speed and memory power if you'd like to learn rapidly and get ahead faster. I'd like to give you my brand new quick brain accelerator program. You will discover exactly what I teach my clients to learn read and remember anything in half the time. There is no charge is my gift to you for being one of our subscribers. That's K W. I K brain dot com or simply text the word podcast, two nine one six eight to two seventy two forty six and we'll send you a directly. It's nine one six eighty to bring growing up struggling with learning challenges from childhood brain injury. It's been my life's mission helped you have your very best brains. You can win more every single day. Now. One more quick brain four ways to fast track your results in lock in which you just learned into your long term memory. Remember fast, F A S T the F stands for Facebook. You're not alone on this journey. I invite you to. Join our free private online group dairy connect with me, your fellow rain lover's links to resources and even submit your questions for me to answer in future episodes, go to quick brain dot com. That's K W. I K rain dot com. The a stands for apply act on what you learned today. Remember knowledge is not power its potential power. It only becomes power when you use it so use what you just learn the S stands for subscribe. Don't miss the next episode and other free brain training. And finally, the t stands for teach you wanna learn faster now keys to lock it in right away by teaching it to someone else when you teach something you get to learn twice. Here's a simple way to do that leave a review on I tunes libra review with your biggest takeaway from this episode. You could also post and share this podcast on your social media. It helps us spread our mission of building better writer brains. And of course, tag us to our team to prop. Thank you, hashtag quick brain K W. I k brain mine is at Jim quick K W. I k on Instagram Facebook and Twitter. So what does fast and for Facebook apply? Subscribe teach. I'll see you in our next episode of quick brain until then remember, you are faster and smarter than you think.

Jim Dr Michael Bruce Dr Jeff Spencer Dr Mark Hyman Jim quick Facebook Instagram Dr BJ Stanford University Nick Appalachian state university Jim ONA Matt M Shawn stevenson New York Times bestselling Twitter New York Times writer
107: Kwik Challenge - Gaining Momentum

Kwik Brain with Jim Kwik

07:27 min | 2 years ago

107: Kwik Challenge - Gaining Momentum

"Welcome quick, brain bite-size, brain hacks for busy people who wanna learn faster and achieve more. I'm your coach Jim quick three. Listen. Listen, imagine if we could access one hundred percent about brains capacitation, I wasn't high wasn't wired. Just clear I knew what I needed to do. And how to cook food? Showman. Welcome to today's quick rain challenge. I am your brain coach and hosted a quick brain podcast, Jim quick. And today your challenges making your bed for better braid. And you're either thinking this you're thinking, Jim I already made my bed. Why do I need to watch? Listen episode. I'll tell you what moment air, you're thinking. Number two gym. I don't wanna make my bed. I've never made my bed. It's such a waste of time. I'm just gonna make it messy again, or my partner is going to end up making the bed. Let me tell you few reasons why you wanna make your bed and why it's good for your brain is going to help you to have better focus and improved memory and overall better life. It's like making your bed you make up your minds. Right because it's good. Hygiene is also good mental hygiene, the number one reason number one is this. How you do anything is how you do everything. How you do? Anything is how you do everything. Your life is really a reflection of the plume of habits that you have right? I you create your habits, and then your habits free to back you create your habits of meditation at journaling and working out in being good food. And all of a sudden that creates your life back now, I think that one of the most important habits. Get good ad is the habit of creating new habits because most people they want to create a new result in their life. But insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a difference hold. Most of us are doing the same thing. As the same words as aim thoughts as same habits, the same behaviors the same feelings and we're expecting life to change. But it doesn't happen that way. So little things mean a lot. So how you do anything is how you do everything. So make your bed. What does it take one two minutes make it with excellence because how you do with that is how you're going to do everything else in your day because success breeds success? They call it the science a'momentum you have one big win. You know, which is a win. You -ccomplish something the first thing in the morning, and then you can build on that. The second reason why you wanna make your bed is because we. Talk about the ten keys activating debating, your quick brain meeting. Good brain foods, killing automatic negative thoughts different workouts to build your brain power supplementation. We talked about positive peer Ruben sleep and really maximizing. Optimizing your reduction for stress all that. But also, we talk about a clean environment. We're talking about having Heidi environment. You're seeing this a lot online having everything cleaned because your external world is a reflection of your internal world. And when you clean your environment. Don't you feel less stress? Don't you have clarity of thought? So start the first thing in the morning by making your bed when you get out of bed you make it and you have a clean environment. And you train yourself to have control over your environment because you influence, your environment and your environment. Also influences right back, and the third reason why you wanna make your bed. First thing in the morning is because once it's done and you do with excellence, and how you do anything is how you do everything. Established in clean environment. I mean when you look at a bed that's freshly made like you're at a hotel room, and you look at that hotel bed, and it's immaculate. Doesn't it feel good? Right. But you get to come back to that. So the third reason is if you come full circle when you finish your day and somebody asks you how your day was because you created this momentum, etc. I crushed it. And you get to go to bed and come back to success. Right. You made success in the morning. You had your day you come back to success. So both book ends of your day. First thing in the morning last thing at night you start with success. So for more information about this. What I would recommend you. Listen to is number one. Listen to my morning routine. Episode number two, listen, the episodes. We did on habits with James clear, and Dr BJ fog how to create new habits and how to break old disempowering habits. And Finally, I would listen the episode with Julia ROY about productivity, and how you have different places and devices. For different activities, especially in the bedroom. So here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna make your bed. First thing in the morning or do that even if it's difficult. You're not going to ask somebody else to do you're going to do it and take a picture of it. And then posted a tag ni at Jim quick hashtag quick challenge. K W. I k challenge and reposting my favorite. But what you're gonna do is really celebrate the fact that you're doing this that you can make a little habits, and it changes, your brain changes your life because what other habits can you take on after this? You're getting really good it creating new ran new habits. He of a well-made bed and well-made mind. I'll see in the next challenge. Want to double your brain speed and memory power if you'd like to learn rapidly and get ahead faster. I'd like to give you my brand new quick brain exceleron program. He will discover exactly what I teach my clients to learn read and remember anything in half the time. There is no charge is my gift to you for being one of our subscribers. That's K W. I K brain dot com or simply text the word podcast, two nine one six eight to two seventy two forty six and we'll send you a directly. It's nine one six eighty to bring growing up struggling with learning challenges from childhood brain injury. It's been my life's mission help you have your very best brains. You could win more every single day. Now. One more quick brain four ways to fast track results, lock in which you just learned into your long term memory. Remember fast, F A S T the F stands for Facebook. They're not alone on this journey. I invite you. Join our free private online group dairy to connect with me, your fellow rain lover's links to resources and even submit your questions for me to answer in future episodes, go to quick brain dot com. That's K W. I K brain dot com. The a stands for apply act on what you learned today. Remember knowledge is not power its potential power. It only becomes power when you use it so use what you just learn the S stands for subscribe. Don't miss the next episode and other free brain training. And finally, the t stands for teach you wanna learn faster now keys to lock it in right away by teaching it to someone else when you teach something you get to learn twice. Here's a simple way to do that leave a review on I tunes lever viewed with your biggest takeaway from this episode. You could also post and share this podcast on your social media. It helps us spread our mission of building better brighter. Brains, and of course, tagged us our team too. Thank you, hashtag quick brain K W. I k brain mine is at Jim quick K W, I on Instagram Facebook and Twitter. So what does fast and for Facebook apply? Subscribe teach. I'll see you in our next episode of quick brain until then remember, you are faster and smarter than you think.

Jim quick Facebook partner Twitter Ruben Heidi Julia ROY James clear Dr BJ one hundred percent one two minutes
#126: The Secret Formula to Creating New Habits That Stick with Dr. BJ Fogg

Broken Brain with Dhru Purohit

1:25:15 hr | 1 year ago

#126: The Secret Formula to Creating New Habits That Stick with Dr. BJ Fogg

"One that it's all about motivating yourself. You just keep yourself motivated You can change habits to. If you can't change your habits, then it's your problem. It's that you lacked motivation, or you lacked willpower three. Just repeat it over and over twenty one days. Twenty one days or sixty six days. The habit will wire, and so it's a matter of repetition. Next just do one habit a time. That's the only way that works next. It's hard to change habits. All of those things are not true. Here host of the podcast and today's episode. We're talking with B. J fogg all about habits. Is there a habit in your life that you've been trying to nail? Incorporate successfully into your routine for the long term, but you've not had the ability to do so if that's the case, this is the podcast for you. B J fogg. He's from Stanford. He is the founder of the design lab up there and through that process in his research, he's learned the truth about making habits stick in our life, and by the way it's not about trying to do. Do for twenty one days or repeating it over over and over again. Those things could be helpful, but he's GonNa talk about fact versus fiction when it comes to incorporating tablets into your life, his work, which I've been familiar with for longtime I've taken one of his workshops about like five six years ago. Radically transform my life. His work is powerful, and if you really listen to the simplicity of it and understand how to incorporate into your life, I think you'll find this. The best most evidence based proven way to build a new habit here we go. Fantastic interview stay tuned welcome to the Broken Marine podcast where we dive deep in the topics of Neuro, plasticity EPA, genetics, mindfulness, functional medicine, and mindset all with the goal of helping you understand how your brain is not broken. I'm your host. Droop wrote and each week my team bring on a new guest who we think can help you improve your brain. Health feel better and most importantly live more. This week's guest is Dr Bj fog. Dr, fog is a behavior scientist at Stanford University. He's the founder of the behavior design lab, at Stanford University and teaches industry innovators and students. How human behavior really works so they can create products. And experiences to help people live healthier happier lives. He's culminated his life's work so far and teachings first book, which became a New York Times bestseller, and it's called tiny habits, the small changes that change everything. Dr Fog, welcome to the broken brain podcast. Thank you for inviting me drew I'm so happy to be talking with you. Yeah and I've just been such a big fan of your work. I mentioned to you back in two thousand twelve. I think it was maybe thirteen I came out to your residents were used to host workshops kind of like not even like Napa Valley right Russian river valley. I think it was somewhere around there and I remember you get this beautiful area, and there was little creek or river running in the back and. The things that I remember. Are we trained? Goats live goats. Yeah those cute, little goats. Goats teach us about behavior design. Did you train the chickens in the BOOT camp? Who came to did we do the chicken training to I? Don't know. I don't remember chickens. All I remember is the goats. They were super cute. And I remember you served fantastic wine and food, and it was found Mary profound experience, so I wanNA. Thank you for hosting us. Well, those boot camps really fine. We're doing it a different way now. Now back then I'd probably coached only ten thousand people in tiny habits. And since then week after week after week, I coached a few hundred more where I stopped counting at forty thousand, but at that point near the patterns of how human behavior worked. After ten thousand people, it's pretty clear. But that still seems like early days of tiny habits. Yeah, and we're going to unpack tiny habits and what it is, but I wanted to start at the beginning I just love the hero's journey and talking about origin stories, so I'd love to start off a little bit with your life growing up, you know I know you grew up in the Mormon tradition, and so I'm curious. How did some of those early experiences? What was that like first of all? And how did some of those early experience? Experiences shape your view of the world. Yeah, well, you know. Mormons are really really Megan to genealogy, and it's you trace my ancestry back every single one of my great great grandparents. Came across the plains with Brigham, young or traveled across the oceans, and so on, and so on every line of the family is Mormon heritage, and so I grew up in California and a very devout Mormon family. And I think that really has influenced what I do today. I'm not a practicing. Mormon today because I've been partners when my partner. For about thirty years, and he's a man, so doesn't really go together to be game and Mormon, but the influence of growing up in that culture, where at least my interpretation was. You are share on this earth to serve other people, and that's the most important thing that you can do, and that's what it's all about. It's about helping other people and service. and. Fast forward to today I. Look at my schedule in what I'm doing minute by minute hour by hour. I'm not getting paid for most things that I'm doing probably eighty percent of the stuff I put my time into I. Don't get anything for it. It's about how do I help? People change their behavior to be happier and healthier especially right now during time of corona virus, I feel. A deep responsibility to step up however I can into my team. Step Up, and it does really trace back to your kid doing service projects. You are leading other kids your age. You're speaking in church meetings whether it's like two sentences, or whether it's like. Oh, my Gosh! In front of the whole congregation of three hundred people, so you do get trained to serve others to be a leader to public speaking, and all of that is part of who I am today when my most favorite. Jobs they call callings in the Mormon Church. Was To be a teacher a Sunday schoolteacher. I loved that he'd been in college. I was the Sunday schoolteacher in just delighted today I love teaching so sharing my working teaching people how behavior works and how to change their behavior to design systems help others. Just as pretty natural for me. And I really do credit my parents. And their Their devotion to the the Mormon religion in that culture, and really making an everyday part of what we did as kids growing up I'm third of seven kids, so so like this big Mormon family, and we will do everything that the church leaders were asking us to do. That's beautiful what? What were some of the expectations you had? On yourself growing up, and what were some expectations that others, have you? Well, maybe I'll just call three. One is. There is a strong sense at least mine reputation as a kid. That you. Are here yes, to serve on those, but to become better and better until you are perfect, and so there was this sense of optimizing yourself and perfection, which I actually think has been a setback for me. We might come back to that a little bit later. There was. The tradition of things like goal setting I remember my father sitting me down once a year. Like what are your goals for this year? And you know I might have been like eight or ten. Okay? What are your goals for this year? What is your your calls and ended up when I was about sixteen, and it was like dad the only goal. I have not have any goals. You know because I was pretty. Sixteen at that, and then maybe the third thing, the expectation in at the time in the Mormon culture, as you would go on a Mormon mission, which would be two years of volunteer service where you go, preach you do service, and so on, and my calling or assignment took me to the south part of Peru to not to Lima, but a down to the south where people would make maybe a dollar a day and they lived in these. And things that at the time, we're very very eye opening for me. Wow, people actually live like this and they can be happy. And so part of that mission. Because I was in a very poor part of Peru was not just preaching Mormonism, but it was also. What they called Welfare missionary where you would help them in other ways and I loved that so for example I was in the Amazon rainforest in the little town, called Maldonado, which was tiny and very hard to get to and very remote, and only running water part of the time we would had a Lacrosse tributaries to the Amazon to teach people who basically lived out in the jungle and that was. That was really eye-opening for a kid from central California. Who grew up in suburbia quite comfortable, but then going out and seeing. How other people live in experiencing that in trying to help them? I was a kid so kind of naively trying to help them when you're twenty and not really. But that was very informative. I think so. Those are some of the ways I. think that background in that culture influenced even though I'm not a practicing Mormon. Hard Work Service Integrity Those kinds of things are just hardwired into me. Even share I was reading an article in preparation of the interview. Even share this little story about how having a prayer rock was. influences. Of kind of like the tiny habit model. Can you share that story with us? You yeah, so the Mormons have this tradition that their leaders will get up and they call it general conference they the leaders which are mostly white man changing, but you know white men. They would get up and say hey, and they would preach and try to help you optimize yourself. And I look back now a lot that was coaching on how to control your behavior how to get yourself to do things like scripture, study and prayer, and then share the book of Mormon with your friends, so the culture really is one about behavior change, and when you look at the missionary training experience of the. Two months of intensive training. They transform you from an ordinary teenager to somebody that can go out and. You're different, you're different. You're wearing different clothes, and so on it's. It's pretty interesting so then when I started studying behavior change. And psychology more systematically as an academic. Oh my Gosh! This is why that system worked so very well so. You know it's the same culture. The Romney's came out of the Marriott's and so on, so it is a very cheap oriented, and yes, it's a Christian religion, but there's a huge toasts of self-improvement. Stephen Covey is also from that tradition right so there's this huge sense. In fact you go to a church meeting and you'd listen to. It's like wow. This is like a self. Help meeting where we're talking and sharing of how to optimize who we are and how we can serve others. Let's fast forward. You went to Brigham Young University. Where did some of your early interest in? Behavior, design and even before that. Where did some of the interest come when it came to looking at? Psychology how the brain worked and researching and. Influence come from. Well you know I. I think I have to say until you're nineteen until you can go on a Mormon mission, you are trained in order to be ineffective missionary, and so it's just part of thanks, and then when you get out, and you're like okay, how can I? How can I get people to listen to me? How can I GET PEOPLE TO COME TO CHURCH? How can I get people to get baptized? How can get people to stop? To Stop Smoking owed to get married, because they're not married, and so on, so you are hands on practicing behavior change, and you're just submission you're doing. A twenty four seven, basically except for when you're sleeping probably. So that was you know I think? It was an interesting challenge for me, and then later at university, and I went to Brigham young like most good. Mormon boys at the time we're supposed to. Although I had a real struggle there. Because I felt like I didn't fit. Because I wanted to bring like polygamist campus to give guest lectures in. The leaders freaked out about that. In fact, that went up to one of the Mormon Apostles and came back down. It's like no, you're not bring polygamous and to give a lecture and as I. Learn stuff so I was a little too freethinking for the culture, but Part of that led me to start a newspaper an independent student newspaper there was no independent papers Utah at the time by page maker just launched and I was like. Maker very well. All this at the time. and. It's like oh I can do lay out I can do. I can do my own paper. We can get printed so I coordinated people, and so we did start an independent student newspaper weekly. which led me to be fascinated with the power of language to influence people, and so I shifted away from being a pre med major expectation. Might father's a nice surgeon, so it's like okay I'll do the MED stuff I'll take the mcat check. I did fine on it. I can go to med school. I. Don't think I am in the meantime I'm going to be a humanities person English major I'm going to be a writer. I'M GONNA. Run this newspaper with my friends. And we we made some. In retrospective they weren't radical articles in additions, but at the time it really was where we were pointing out the polluters in the valley. We were talking some about. Students who weren't traditionally straight. which was very taboo topic and get imagine it was really interesting to be able to every week. Put up the paper and have about twenty five thousand readers. Pick it up, and then it was like. Oh, my gosh, through language writing articles. You can have an impact on how people think and what they do, and that really fascinated me being fast forward, I decided. To go to Stanford to study, the overlap between computers and persuasion. And shifted from humanities to become. A social scientist and learn how to do experiments, so I became an experimental psychologist. And pursued that overlap I anticipated. That computers and I grew up in a very tech forward. Where my dad built his own computer by soldering chips tonight, I went and helped him. This was way before you could buy computers, so it was very very geeky. And wrote his own code and stuff like that so I, growing up in that environment anticipated while these computers may be used some day. To influence people's attitudes and behavior, so that's what I wanted to study as doctor stood. That's what I did ran the first series of experiments to explore. What called persuasive computing later persuasive technology and Did. A series of studies, basically replicating Chaldean knees book his Wonderful Book Influence and showing that computers could use those same influence principles to influence people's attitudes behaviors when people thought. They only knew they're interacting with the machine. But those social influence principles such as praise and flattery or so powerful, it would still have an impact on people, and that's what I showed in a series of experiments. Along with in my, dissertation. Shining a spotlight on the dangers of this okay, computers can be designed to autonomously influence people. Where am I go? What are the problems? What are the dangers and so on? So after I got, my doctorate did more work in that domain on the ethics of persuasive, technology. and. Including in two thousand, six, a formal testimony to death DC about what I foresaw would be coming. Down the pipeline, nobody really cared in two thousand six about those problems. A lot of things actually happened. It. and. We're GONNA talk about some of that in the current state of the world of social media and persuasion things that you know in your book. You talk about how you were mostly focused on. Doing this for for businesses and other models and other things in it turned inward out of your own personal interest in how? Behavior design can shape your own behavior, but here's a question for you. The origin story of all this. You're doing these experiments and a lot of this was theories running different experiments. I'm guessing primarily with students. When was the first time you saw an outside entity? A business and organization use some of the principles that you came up with an actually have an impact with whatever their goal or What was. Well the influence of my research at Stanford in my book Persuasive Technology has been vastly overstated by recent media. Draw direct line between here's BJ's Oregon. Here's what. People actually didn't believe my experiments. I'm over generalizing. A lot of people looked at the experiments are like no, you have a flaw in the design somewhere and other people didn't pay much attention the time about usability where usability King like no the next phases persuasion people. We have to pay attention to this. This is a big deal. And people in general. Industry business people didn't pay a whole lot of tension in tel.. Amazon started succeeding now. Amazon didn't read my book, but then they saw oh my gosh shares, his company that's getting people to change their behavior from regular bookstores to online and something like Tamagotchi came out, so it wasn't. My research influence on a company like Amazon as much as these things emerged on their own facebook, emerged on its own without looking at my work, and then people could understand what was going on with Amazon or facebook, or whatever through the lenses I had created, and so it was really more that direction, but if you WANNA pick an industry, example of where influenced a product, you could look at weight watchers, and so I went and train the weight watchers team not in persuasive technology. I'd shifted. To. Kind of community and influence of like community, and like how that impacts if I, if I'm correct. Yeah our work. My labs work so in. Nineteen ninety. Eight I started a lab at Stanford. And we did work around web credibility and what's going to happen with mobile, so we did some forward thinking on mobile and mobile persuasion, but we became more interested just in human behavior in general, but nothing to do with technology. And, so the lab we renamed it the behavior design lab because we weren't doing anything technology about two thousand ten. And about that time. A little bit later. I worked with the weight watchers, innovators, and they revamped their program entirely to align. With some of the things that. behavior design suggests and that was super cool. Because at the time through I was attending weight watchers meetings in the basement of the church in Healdsburg and people didn't know I was working with the CEO on the top A. Innovation people weight watchers, but it was cool to sit there and the meetings and learn. And then about a year later once my concept started rolling out. It was amazing to hear people, and it's like fifteen people gathered in a basement where they were using my phrases in my language having no idea. That I had been working with the weight watchers team to revamp, so that was a really interesting moment and I didn't tell them like. Hey, that's my phrase. That's the concept came out of me working with them, but it was. There was this moment where somebody said I forgot exactly what they said. They said Oh. It's baby steps. Yeah I. Did I just took a baby step and I was like? Yes, he has they're they're. They're taking this seriously. And they're celebrating the fact that they made the small change, and it's filtered all the way down to this little group in the basement of a church in this small town in northern California, so that was kind of a moment, yeah! That's great. And like I said earlier out a point you have the story of. Basically looking in the mirror and saying that you wanted to make some changes for yourself, Washington was. Can some of these things that have worked elsewhere early on when you were developing the model? Can they work for self improvement? Can I work with my self? What were some of those motivations and or some of the early things that you tried? That didn't work in this process. Yeah, the motivations were kind of desperation. where it was like. Okay. I did a startup that didn't work I. Let a lot of investors down. I'm organizing this conference. At Stanford three hundred people are coming from all over the world. This is me and one other person doing. It was just pressure. And I was gaining weight. I wasn't sleeping well. I just felt like I can't turn the corner now I mean this is not true, but felt like. If I don't change what I do now, I'm just going to go down this slippery slope and not recover very well. So I. Really started. And, then there were some personal things going on with family lost a nephew to an accidental drug overdose in, so it was a tough time. And so I was just willing to just like. Okay. Let's. I looked at my own model. What I call the fog behavior model so had already developed down two thousand seven, and I was like according to my own model. If you make something really really easy to do. You don't have to have lots of motivation to do it right here. In the model, it shows that well. Let me put that to the test me make. Some habits really really easy to do, and that means even when I'm not feeling super motivated I can still do the behavior and it struck me. That, wow, okay, that's great and that way I can be really consistent and collected like habits, not about doing a big thing. It's about doing something consistently. Okay, let me try this. And so the habits were a flashing one to doing push ups after I peed certain things about how I aid or what? I wouldn't eight eat. Howard noted things I wish I had kept a list actually I, didn't I mean because you don't know that you know ten years later? You can be publishing a book on this. You're just. In some ways out of need. Trying to use what you know about behavior and exploring, how do I change my own behavior? Now that I understand that it's not about the size of the behavior about being consistent, and you can be consistent if it's tiny because you're not susceptible swings motivation. And then just. Doing stuff and know I. One of the classes I'm going to rewind a little bit to the heritage. In the mid nineties, I took a Stanford class with David Kelly, and at the time David, Kelly was running idea, which was a big company, but not the huge companies now, but there's no such thing as design, thinking or the Stanford. D. School out would come later out of David, Kelly and actually one of my classmates. So the thinking. Of just you know you design you. Try stuff you hit rate that was. Some ways David Kelly. Really! Got Me going on that so when I started hacking my baby fifteen years later. that was natural because I had done that another kinds of projects, so it was like okay. Try something it rate iterating rate. Until you find the right design. And that's fundamentally today to the tiny habits method you, you make the best design you design the habit the best you can, and that works you keep going if you don't it, doesn't you? Rate and you it you re design it. You don't blame yourself. You don't say you know black willpower motivation. It's design challenge, and in some ways I really credit David Kelly in the mid nineties of training me in tuning in to the power of design. And jump in and actually even zoom out even further I. WanNa even start off with that was profound back then, but it's still profound today, because there's so many misconceptions that we still all have many that people who are listening to the podcast today, actually probably still believe around habits and change. Can you run through some of the most common misconceptions I feel like we can really. Really, appreciate the behavior model and everything teach tiny habits. When we looked at the common misconceptions that are out there about how to actually create a habit and change in your life. Yeah, kind of do a laundry list and you can stop me, or you can rewind to the ones you want me to d-print one that it's all about motivating yourself. If you just keep yourself motivated. You can change habits to if you can't change your habits then it's your problem that you lacked motivation or you lacked willpower three. Repeat it over and over twenty one days if you just repeated twenty one days or sixty six days, the habit will wire, and so it's a matter of repetition. Next? Just do one habit at a time that you. That's the only way that works next. It's hard to change habits. All of those things are not true. I want to take a couple of them and UNPACK why they're not true, and we'll kind of zoom zoom out with your model in the context of it. So what do we know about why the whole idea of like? Takes Twenty, one days or sixty days or thirty days is not true when it comes to changing our habits. Yeah, it's really baffling actually why people actually believe that. If you look at the research carefully on that, especially, the most recent peace excited a lot. It's clearly a study that's about correlating. Not Causation so what they showed was. There's a correlation between number of days and strength of habit. Not set up to show causality, the stats don't show cosmetology, and so on that people have interpreted to be a causal effect which it's not. People can look at their ordinary everyday experience to understand that some habits were very quickly. You don't have and this is the study where people get the sixty six day thing from. If let's say you buy a new car. And you have a habit of driving the car, but you buy a new car. How many days does it take to create the habit of driving the new car? Well. Time. let's say the first time you used the UBER APP in, so you're. Getting a taxi hailing a taxi. How many repetitions does it take of using the? To make that habit. Well for many people to one and done. It's like so if you do a new behavior. And you have a strong positive emotion. The first time you do it or the first few times you do it that emotion rewires your brain. Brandon makes behavior more automatic, so it's not a function of repetition habit for Mation as a function of the emotion that you feel when you do the new behavior. Wow I! Feel awesome. This new car I feel rich feel powerful I feel. Like a cool guy, oh my Gosh Uber and gives me superpowers. You know I just push some buttons and this. Limo comes up and hopping and I. Don't have the fiddle with. Credit cards, and whatever so it really the the tradition of saying it's repetition is not only wrong, but it's harmful when people believe that it's repetition than. It. Positions behavior change something you have to endure is something that's unpleasant something that takes a long time, and it doesn't and that gets people to procrastinate. Like oh I'm not ready to suffer right now, and it's not a good time, and that's too bad because you changed. This is a big theme in my book. Ten Habits, you change best buy feeling good, not feeling bad. And so one of those long standing. Sometimes it comes down to what the? Journalists right and headlines, or what bloggers right in their headlines and keep repeating, and if you just go back and look at the research, the people are citing. And say what is the evidence that repetition creates the habits is no evidence that I can find. Yes, there's a correlation, but there's a correlation from hanging out in the gym and being. So if you said Hey, hanging out in Jim, causes fitness than people just go hang out the gym maybe at the snack bar and maybe five hours a day. They're not going to get more fit. It's what you do at the gym. Same thing with habits. It's the emotional experience you have, so it's really. Not just wrong, but harmful and misleading to perpetuate the idea that repetition creates habits so instead emotions and positive emotion especially. I've. Pointed to the feeling of success and people love that, and so they do a behavior, and they feel successful, which is uplifting and motivating and it also wires behavior and as a habit. So much of this is re questioning. The folklore in the superstition believed from society about how habits get changed and a lot of also realizing that you know the truths about motivation new unpack the troops you know you have a few truths about motivation that you want people to understand because motivation tends to be one of the main vehicles you're talking about. A lot of change becomes unpleasant. It's not the right time I. Don't feel motivated because we have really rely on motivation. What is it about motivation that you want people to really understand like the truths about motivation? Number one when you're creating new habits, pick habits that you want pick habits that you're already motivated to do. It's very hard to create habits up things. You don't want to do things you don't want. Some people have mischaracterize my work. LBJ doesn't believe in motivation well I don't believe on tacking it on at the end like somehow magically motivate myself on the stairmaster for an hour day. I say you fast forward it and you make it from the start wet new habit. Do I want so. That's very important. Next motivation will go up and down over time. It's this fluctuating thing. The academic research on the dynamics of motivation. Does not have a long history, and this is really surprising that there are very I can't find any good studies before the year two thousand, which is relatively recent and academic terms that looks at how motivation and goes up and down over time some research started emerging in two, thousand, seven and eight, and so on in the language, learning field of all places. But it's our everyday experiences human beings. We know that motivation fluctuates over time and the concept of motivation spiking coming down. That did not have a name so in one of my boot camps and drew. Probably not the bootcamp. You're out, but about that time we named. It the motivation wave so will go up, but then it comes down. Next. You have. When you look at the level of motivation for doing any behavior. Let's say wearing a mask into the grocery store. Because of Grenier's, you have things that are motivating you think of those as vectors. Like motivational vectors. Oh I. DON'T WANNA get sick I. Don't want to give other sick. I don't WanNa look like a bad citizen. Those are all motivating you to wear the mask, but then there are d- motivators things that are pushing down, so think of them as vectors pushing down on those of the mask is. Oh, I village. Can't breathe in the mask. Oh, some people not mean, but some people like. Oh, I, don't WanNa look like a sheep I'm independent. I'm going to express my freedom by not wearing it, so the one of the best ways to understand motivation is we have multiple motivations pushing on each other with motivating and demotivating. And those are like vectors they push on each other and the overall level of motivation shifting all the time. An hour ago I was really like it's you know it was well afternoon my time, so my motivation to eat was pretty high, but then I ate. My motivation to eat is. Pretty low right now so. The motivation to each the being really high to really low. We have daily cycles of motivation. We have cultural cycles of motivation. Things like Christmas Valentines, day tax time, and so on, and you can map out these motivation waves. And somewhat predictable somewhere not, and some motivation is really really important, but other. Summarize here what we can't do well is. Motivate ourselves to do something. We don't want to do and keep the motivation level high. You can do it in the military I can do it maybe in my classes for a limited period, because I assigned grades, and maybe some demanding parents can increase motivation of their kids to get them. To exceed, Excel cool, but there's no magical way to boost your own motivation and get yourself motivated to do something. Really don't WANNA do. You know it reminds me of this quote. That mentor reminds Toronto Kelly's assays. Finding change in the street is fantastic, but I'm not going to bank on it. As a way to a my mortgage, it comes sometimes. It doesn't come all the times, but it's not something that we want to overly rely on instead. We want to understand so we can harness it when it comes, and when it's not there can use other methods which will get into in a second so now we understand motivation, and the fact that there are these motivation waves, and that motivation is unreliable. Comes in. Those. Flex its. There's a lot of factors that come into it, and so when we rely on ourselves. Feeling like I'm not motivated, so that's why I don't want to try to achieve this thing whatever that goal might be. Now I feel like. Can you describe it big picture? But just let's do warmer time in a little bit more detail. Let's talk about the three aspects to the fog behavior model, and how interplay together. So it turns out that understanding human behaviors way easier than people have thought. For a long time and it just comes down to this behavior. A habit is a type of behavior so behavior I'm using in the broad category. There's different types behavior happens when three things come together at the same time motivation to do the behavior. Ability to the behavior. How hard or easy it is to do. And a prompt. The prompt is the queue. The call to Action Reminder I used to call it trigger, but. Now when those three things come to say, Mona behavior happens if you're missing, any one of those things are of motivation, as low or ability, as low than the behavior won't happen and all behaviors and all cultures, all ages, all types of behavior. Are comprised these three things, and you can analyse any behavior in those terms like what was the motivator. What was made it easy to do? What was the prompt? And you can also use those things to design behaviors and in tiny habits. What we're talking about here in creating abbots. You don't. Later tack on motivation news like pick behavior. You want boom motivation that's done. You're picking new habits. You're picking habits that you want to. The motivation pieces taken care of then it's. Really easy. We can talk about Donyo. That's a big part of the tiny habits method, and then what's going to remind me? What's the prompt? So basically you're selecting? A new habit that you want. You're making a really easy, and you're making sure there's a prompt, so the tiny habits method derives directly from the behavior model. When we think about earlier in the year pre, also corona virus at least in the United States, so many people setting different resolutions and goals that they want to work on, and often those goals and resolutions are quite ambitious and things that they want to bring into their life, completely new behavior, so I'd love to take a common example, which also seems like. This was something that you were working on early on for yourself, too, which is physical fitness exercising more so in the traditional model? Somebody might set a resolution and say I'm going to go the gym x amount of times a week and I'm gonNA. Lose this much, you know. Wait somebody who to the gym. Three days a week for an hour and. And and I'm GonNa make it a commitment and I'm gonNA tell everybody and I'm gonNA spend a Lotta time doing it. Maybe I may get a trainer. Maybe I do group classes, and that's how many achieve that goal that I have of losing. Let's say ten pounds at somebody might have if you took this approach using these. Problems and the tiny habit model, how would somebody see a goal and then now reapproach it through this lens? We'll do I. DON'T WANNA. Make this too complicated, but this is my personal opinion. You know much better than I do. That going to the gym and working out an hour a day for three days. A week is not going to lead to substantial weight loss. But I believe that at one time and many people believe I just got to go to the gym. I ate this big dinner I'm GonNa, go work it off, so part of. Picking in part of the method in tiny habits is to find golden behaviors golden behaviors. Once you want to do and you can do, and they're effective, and so where I was misled for many years, and we're many people have been misled. Is that losing? Weight is a function of working out. And now I believe my personal opinion. It's like ninety percent plus ninety five percents. It's what you eat. It's went to Eton, and so that's where you got to pick the behavior. That's going to be effective in too often. People are picking behaviors. That won't be effective, so even if they are consistent, even if they do create a habit. Working out allowing is not going to get you there. You gotta change how you eat so the information about the connection if it's wait. Then, it's like what what are the behaviors that lead to weight loss in my own life. It took it took some testing and figuring it out and I've never heard of Kito before never heard of it. I just started really paying attention to my body, and how as a responding to foods and what I learned was there are certain foods that were very satisfying to me and I felt good certain foods. That didn't the Nice started just the the wait to start melting off me and I made this listen. I shared it with my dad's dad. This is what to eat. This is what I don't eat. It is so easy to lose weight I'm not even working out I'm too busy to work out. I'm like I'm down to like my college weight. And then one day. I had never heard of. low-carbon eating, but one day I came across like that's what I'm doing, so my game plan now. It's like lot of like my lunch was just like. Spinach and lettuce and nuts and trump. and. CARBS are just not on my game plan at all. Nuts are Yay and high-quality fats. So part of at least this challenge you know this really well and those on your team as we gotta have a clear. We gotta get the right direction now I'm not saying that's the right way for everybody, but for me. Low carb is the way that I feel more energy and I sleep better, and I get to my ideal weight, and it's easy. It's simple to stay there because I have this eating game. Plan that I figured out. I wish I would have had some help. Because it took me about a year and a half to really tune in. And so you know part of that is. Not Tobacco Game Plan. I thought nuts. We're just you know caloric suicide, and now all covered full of different nuts. Macadamia nuts for lunch and I'm not worried about that level, because the good fats are things that I welcome. So it's not really quite answering the habit question, but it is answering the. Question Yeah you gotTA. Do the! That will have results yes. It's so true, and that's why it's like again. Unplugging from the societal ideas that are there of you have to do a habit for sixty six days. You have to do this for then. This is the way that you have to eat or do that to bring a little bit of a questioning to ask yourself really what is the goal and who were people that actually can help me unpack that goal and proven methodologies and formulas that are the right fit for me so? So within that context to ask you when you started incorporating these new foods, and you started getting some different level of education about what works for you and what what didn't. was there ever a time period that you struggled with keeping it in? Your routine and your behaviors and. If so or if not, why do you think that it's? Well. Yes. I love salty snacks drew I love low sugar is not that big temptation, but salty snack crunchy stuff. And so popcorn! was like and they would not let me put this in the book like I had a serious. I had a popcorn addiction. and. It was serious, but they wouldn't let me put in the book like Bj. This is trivial and it's like well. It wasn't for me. It was a real problem because it's salty in. It's crunchy and. It signified. If I reme you, know is signified that you can relax now, so my family hardworking industrious warming family. We almost never relaxed, but the times we did. Relax the rare times. My Dad or my mom would make popcorn so popcorn symbolized I'm off the clock I. Don't I just relax? So I I was eating popcorn every night and I wouldn't put butter on. It's like okay, no fat I'm going to do in no popcorn and a coke in the microwave microwaves about idea, know all these different ways of popcorn, not understanding that corn number one and the carbs number two were just terrible for me, and but even when I knew I was eating too much popcorn like people I mean we're talking a lot. People were talking of a big like Salad Bowl that twice that how much popcorn I would eat some nights? And I struggled to stop that because it served an emotional need for me and. I was under stress. It helps soothe that I guess, and so I finally, and I learned something about myself for behaviors like that I am not a. How did they say I hate the saying moderation in all things I am. That does not work for me. I'm an on those kinds of things that you just have to stop in. It's not like eat a cuppa pop corner. Two Cups because I tried that slippery slopes I knew. I'd think finally came to grips with my own psychology when it came to behaviors like that. which two years ago I applied to alcohol I didn't have a huge problem with alcohol, but is like this isn't helping me and I'm going to stop. And I, Completely stopped wasn't moderation. It was like I. Understand how my psychology works on this and I have a little bit. It's going to be slippery slope so just stop redesign my environment to make popcorn really hard to do so don't try to demotivate myself. Round pop punk is not a good way to do that. It's wired in from my childhood, so make it really hard to eat popcorn no popcorn in the house. You know nothing nothing in the house. At one point I put it all in the attic, so I'd have to climb up through the garage stairs to get the popcorn pan and the popcorn, but I found. There were evenings where I would go there Dan. Cook the popcorn overeat. And then finally I told my. It's like nope. NOPE Nope, House, policy, no popcorn and the house. And and with that I was able to. I know people are laughing at me on this, but it's you know. There are different things that. Compel addict and popcorn was mind so I, really struggled with that and finally got rid. Interject sounds like popcorn was also went. Popcorn started than a lot of the other comfort foods, or you know foods that maybe weren't serving you at the time. Would those start to cascade in almost like popcorn was opening the gateway snack? Yeah, popcorn, and the fritos in chip, so I had this thing so I live two hours. Hours from Stanford so I drive down and teach have meetings and run my lab and get in the car. Come back late at night. There's a place on Nineteenth Avenue in San Francisco where I would stop and fill the car or if I, didn't need to I would buy a bag of fritos in a bag of doritos. It's like I deserve this. I've had such a long day and I repeat that. and stopping that behavior. took. Some design took. But it was related to the popcorn and what I learned for me, anyway was for. Creating habits stopping habits are different processes, and so what I learned for me on stopping habits. It's like Nope, it's you just you draw the line and you never get Fritos. You can stop at that gas station. You never can buy. I was at a special party here in I'm in Maui now we live part time here and really dear friend in her nineties. CUT This cormet popcorn. She's No. You don't eat popcorn, but here's one. This is really special. One little kernel in this special ball where other people got the whole ball? And It was. She wasn't looking. I took that piece and put it in my pocket because it's like not even one carnall. There's no way I'm going back to this popcorn. So. change leads to change both good and bad. And so if you change in good ways, it opens you up to other good ways of changing. If I start eating that one kernel of popcorn than maybe next thing, you know I might eat some. fritos there on the table which would lead to other things, so it's really and maybe not everybody has that maybe some people can do moderation and all things when it comes to addictions, but from your sharing about your own story, and the interesting thing about it though is that you have that data of your life and the whole approach around the tiny habits which I which I think we should. Include an elevator pitch four and just make sure we summarize with the audience is with us, but the whole approach tiny habits is that it's not an all or nothing approach. It's not you have to go. In you know all and go into this habit that already say. I'm going to go to the gym three hours a week and this this much about it's actually about taking those golden behaviors and starting small, making them tiny, so they can be incorporated into our life so. Drew. Let me repeatedly the way that you. Stop Habits and the way that you start. Them are different processes as different as the way I plant a tree and the way I pull the tree out of the ground. It will always come back to motivation ability prompt, but the way you use. It is different so even though. You might struggle with an addiction or untangling an unwanted behavior. That might be hard. The process for creating habits using tiny habits is really easy, and it's not all or nothing, and it's playful on. It's fun and IT'S A. In the book. A there's various stories, but it when you get good at creating habits, and it's pretty easy to do that. You can then apply those skills to other challenges in your life that are harder. So. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about creating a new habit, and then we'll come back to stopping a habit and kind of the step by step process, even though you shared your approach with. The popcorn how change leads to change, so give us the elevator pitch for tiny habits and approach elevator pitch. It is the simplest fastest way to create new habits supported by my research of over forty thousand people who've done the method who coach personally and measured results week after week. That's the elevator pitch. I guess the way you do add. I'm looking at the book. It's like they're does, but it can be somewhere like this. Take any habit you want and make it really really easy to ridiculously easy to do so say you want to read more. Will scale it back to be read a paragraph. Maybe it's Rita sentence. Maybe it's just open the book. There's a summer that was the habit as all I did was open the book. Then you find. Where does that tiny version of that habit? Where does that fit naturally in your life? And one of the breakthroughs I had my work was understand. What is it come half? Of So. I opened the book after I sit down on the patio in the evenings. So what you're doing is you're designing dairy tiny behavior into your life. You're fitting it into your routine where it will fit naturally just like you'll take a little seedling or a seed and. This seed. Take root and thrive, so it's the design process. So. The tiny habit recipe becomes after I. sit down on the Patio in the evenings. I will open my book now. Some people think that's not very meaningful, so they might say well I will open my book and read one paragraph. It's not one chapter has to be so simple. So easy to do that even when you're sick or busy or stressed, you can still do the behavior, so you can be very very consistent. The third piece and all of these are hacks making tiny, reminding yourself by connect, call it anchoring anchoring it to an existing routine like sitting down on the patio. That's a hack. Because you're not using alarms or post. It notes or whatever you are using your existing routine to remind you. Then the third one called celebration you wire in the habit into your brain by deliberately causing yourself to feel a positive emotion. And The emotion of the feeling of success in the book shine so you? There's different ways to help yourself feel China so. One thing I did with opening the book was my bookmark. Had this really cutesy Smiley face on it? And when I opened the book, I looked at that smile face, and as I could for you Bj you're reading right and that would create shine which would help wire in the habit. If you're a flashing, it could be after I brush I will floss one tooth, and you could look in the mirror and smiling. Yep, that's how you do it. So you're acknowledging and embracing a feeling of success, it's that feeling that emotion that causes your brain to rewire and make that behavior more auto matic whether it's opening a book. Flushing. Your teeth, doing pushups tidying the kitchen and so on, so there's got three hacks the anchor the behavior that you make really tiny and then the celebration how you wire it in. And I want to start backwards because. You know celebration I. Remember going to your workshop initially, and before that reading a little bit about your work online at the time, he didn't have a book. And I can remember really taking away from that in your tweets in the information I can get at the time is that? People are just so damn hard on themselves especially when it comes to change. Can you talk about that? Yeah and I think you and I and most people listening to this. We all fall into this camp, because high achievers. And were expected to everyday. Do Better and better and better than I grew up in a culture of you're going. You need to become perfect. You need to become perfect, and so when you're not perfect, or will you don't continue? Achieve achieve. It's very easy to not look at your progress, but look at the deficits. Look at what you didn't do perfect claim. And that's exactly the wrong way to transform your life, and so with tiny habits in this time of desperation when I was A. Stumbling across developing the method. What happened? And it was an accident, you know. I valued my teeth and I thought okay. BJ. You're gonNA floss one tooth. You already know how to floss all your teeth. That's not the issue. You need to learn how to floss automatically, so it comes after you brought. You're gonNA floss one tooth. And then because things were so challenging in my life, I looked in the mirror and I would say victory because I thought. Everything else goes wrong today, which could because it was a hard time I got this done. I, did this one thing, and then I recognized so this didn't come out of me doing experiments or reading academic papers. I recognize the going good for you. Jared was literally victory. I would say victory. That had this power, and so I started doing more of it, and then a year later when I started teaching it in two thousand eleven. Said everybody do this thing. This celebration declare victory, and then as it worked for other people, I started understanding it better, so you're causing this emotion. And your brain goes. Among emotion serves lots of functions. New People listening to this. Are Probably way more expert than I am on emotions and neuroscience, but one of the functions of emotion. is to rewire behavior, and so if you do a new behavior, and you feel successful in reading or in getting a cab or in lossing than that behavior, brain will take notice in. With the dopamine regulation and the mylan. She's adjusting. It'll become more automatic. And, so that was just. It goes. So against what the tradition says about how you create habits. And some people do it naturally, and some people find a such a hard thing to do, and there's a whole bunch of people in between I was talking to somebody earlier today who called me and she's a coach and coaching people in in weight, loss and diabetes. And, one of her clients was just resisting celebration, she said what should I do? I said well do this. I've not studied this so this is a guest, but I'm going we're. GonNa Study at my lab and charing hair because I'm pretty sure. It's effective, but stay tuned. We'll do research now. Release on, this is if you can't go good for me or who or where to go or whatever you do to help yourself feel successful think they're vividly about your purpose. And how reading a book helps you achieve the purpose by reading this book. Wow, this is helping me in this really important purpose. So for example, my deep deep purpose is to be able to teach people how behavior works so they can be happier. Happier and healthier, so if I were if I couldn't celebrate just by going wait ago, Bj as I open the book I would think actively. This is helping me succeed at being more effective in changing the world for the better, so that's a type of celebration, but it may not seem as contrived to some people just a just helping your brain in yourself. Self recognized that this habit no matter how tiny is helping me with this larger deep purpose that I have. And so that will be an experiment rerun at Stanford three conditions one no celebration, one traditional celebration, three thinking about your purpose, and then when we run, the study will have some data on. Does this thinking about purpose work? How does it work relationship to celebration and the? Compared both of those to the condition where people aren't doing either. Subaru exciting I can't wait to see what the what the findings are, and I think just anecdotally. Anybody listening to this knows that we are. Not only not celebrate unless if you've been practicing the tiny habits methodology, not only are we really bad at Sarah celebrating, but often there's that voice in her head, and we speak to ourselves worse than we would talk to. Your loved one best friend and our bring defaults that default neural network could be the voice of you know a teacher growing up the voice of a parent who was scolding or negative on you. Idea sometimes people just here, General Voice of disapproval. That's in their head so. That's such a powerful aspect of anchoring this. We know how much positive reinforcement matters when it comes to kids and their learning in their growth. You know human beings and adults are just big kids who have that same, or when it comes to creating in your hand well, and it was exactly this drew that me, so it was about four months into sharing so v. June maybe April of Two Thousand Eleven so I'm coaching two to three hundred people a day through email on tiny habits, Bam Bam and a woman writes me back and Wednesday in the five day program Wednesday the day. It's like Hey, you probably overlook celebration. Now's the time to take it seriously. And she wrote me back and she's in the book I call her Rhonda in the book. That's not her real name, but she wrote Banks Bj I. Now see I've endured a lifetime of Self trash-talk and you've helped me recognize that you've helped me change now. I know how to say good for me rather than all these other things I used to say, so she was. Since then I've gotten many many many people who have reported that basically helping them recognize that user they grow up in a culture or whatever where they're very self critical. And understand that doesn't help you. Instead embrace the tyne successes, no matter how tiny give yourself permission to feel good about the smallest things tied a pin on my work desk. Good for me. It looks much better. And, by just that win you. Experience that and when you start doing that, it can then change how you perceive the whole world around you. How other people are doing stuff through so being less critical of other people, but acknowledging and seeing the good things do and your own behaviors where when bad things happen you don't beat yourself up. You're like. Things happen. It was a weird day, so what I didn't go to the gym today, so I went to the party and you know and I ate a piece of cake. That wasn't on my game plan. No big deal I'll get back on the game plan tomorrow, and so you basically you be nice to yourself and especially now now now now on this time of crisis. Being nice to ourselves and being gentle with. Important people are really fragile right now I'm not done scientific work to determine that, but when you just look what's going on, even within your own home, friends. Even though people may be putting on this happy front, there is a lot of vulnerability and fragility, and so being nice to ourselves and compassionate to ourselves and others and part of that is just do the best. You can acknowledge the positive steps forward. Even the tiny ones may be especially tiny ones, and when things don't go as you intend, dunk down on yourself. Move on one of my. And he still works with them now. Story. My all time, favorite sweet, which only came like. Out You wrote this tweet you said for the vast majority of people the key to unlocking. Your motivation. NOPE, instead it's lowering your expectations and just getting started. Be Nice to yourself all along the way that be nice. Struggle with that so sorry to interrupt on your story. You know it's kind of three points there, and that did resonate. It's you know lower your expectations, which was like this massive surprise in the culture that you and I are immersed arms like achieve more. and. Be Nice to yourself all along the way one of my students, he played college basketball. He told me later. Actually. It wasn't even conjunction with tiny. It's just remember one of my lab meetings. Yeah, what we've been coached and trained to do and the way we get to a higher level something we couldn't do in high school is. Wouldn't we mess up on the court? You immediately put that behind you and you get your head back in the game. You don't ruminate on that. Miss Shot, and that was apt training to help. These players level up and then later I thought that's exactly what I'm telling people to do in tiny habits when you mess up, you don't ruminate. US Get back in the game and you get back to your game plan and you don't feel bad and you don't think why did I do that? Use? Get right back in the game. and so there is that connection between how high athletes at least on teams are trained to do stuff and the tiny habits method. Yeah, I think about the work of Stephen Press fueled the author of the war of our. You know so much of his book called turning pro so much of it is that if we start to have an athlete's mindset, are professionals mindset. We can see that there's just not a room from that and we should expect. We should expect that. We WanNa beat ourselves up and we should train for the fact that that doesn't serve us. We gotta let that Go. If we want to operate at peak moving forward from here, you know these the other thing that we can learn from. And I'm so sad. The Olympics aren't I I love Olympics is when you watch high end athletes when they perform and do an amazing putt earn amazing, serve or You? Know a great pass. What do they do? They're celebrating? Okay, they are I. Mean Look at remember Michael Phelps. Coming in Bam raised arm slap in the water. I. Have a strong sense of course I didn't study the scientific. Study athletes that the high performing athletes are natural celebrators, even from kids when they did a behavior like a great serve or a pot or pass that they wanted to do more reliably in the future they celebrated, and that's what led them to be come top athlete, so celebration was an so when I have. Skeptics in celebration. I have the set of youtube videos that people can watch of these athletes celebrating. It's like yeah, look. Yeah, they're celebrating their wiring in that high performance action to be a habit, so they don't have to think about it in the future, it's automatic. That's how they got there. That's so key and going back to those three parts of the tiny habit model for baby change. It's finding that golden behavior, really choosing thoughtful about what is the behavior, and what is it really for to get me closer to whatever goal it is not just accepting. You know something that somebody throughout their. Own We have there. They're actually going to help us. Finding anchoring moments something that's already in our routines do. Haven that already happens and then putting that behavior. You know stop. Putting behavior next to it right putting behavior stocking behavior next night. Can actually have to use rely on motivation for especially the long term, and then the joyful celebrating the acknowledging that we actually made progress. which is what we do for babies Time Element, but we forget to do for ourselves. and. Once people see that, and once they do it, they're like. It really this easy, and it's like yeah, so I was training one of the one. We have a certification program in tiny habits, and I teach part of every class and there was a woman. This would have been like Tuesday. She's like celebration so important. She was a skeptic then she started doing it, and she says you know I used to hate to empty the Dishwasher, but once I started celebrating, and she says I love it now. I look for emptying the dishwasher. Well, that's a little bit of an extreme example, but this woman who was probably in her sixties was so like Bj with God to get the message out that you change best feeling good not by feeling bad and when you can celebrate I mean dishwasher. Nobody loves doing that. That's not super golden for anybody, but it's necessary. But by making the simple shift, and attaching a celebration to emptying the Dishwasher, her whole perspective on emptying the dishwasher changed. Just that tiny! Shift can completely change things up and I invite listeners of the podcast to think about what are the behaviors that are there and of course. Get the book, so they can be able to look through the lens of something that they WanNa make a you know WanNa make a change in their lives, and they want to improve and see how. Straightforward. It can be an again going to enter the book how change can be easy and fun, and not this thing that we tread so because the model is so simple, it's often unpacking the things that get in the way where the complexity kind of shows up, so we already talked about one of them, which is not celebrating and we talked briefly about another, but. That's expectations and often find that sometimes people like picking big audacious goals that are actually very difficult to achieve in a very short period of time for anyone, but they pick it because of their expectations I should be further along in life I'm almost thirty years old I. Need to achieve this or. You know my business should be at this place or that place. Tell us what you know about expectations and where that started really showing up in your work, and why you talked about as being one of the things that derails us for making progress and one of the things I know is there's. What percent of people, but there's some people out there over the years they've written in, said Bj I get your tiny habits. Method works, but I've got to make big changes so tiny habits isn't the thing for me. Then I'd write them back. That's how you do the big things you start tiny. You learn how to do it. And they some people still aren't convinced so there are just some people were not going to be able to get them to know. They think they have to go big or go home, and that's the only way to go big as. Or did have a big outcome is to start big and somehow magically motivate themselves. And there's other more direct things can say like. How many times have you tried that? And how many times does that work but the? If somebody's listening to this and you're the kind of person that really can't lower the bar. Then, do the tiny habits method for ten habits at once. So Bam challenge yourself not on the size of the habit, but to ten at once, and that's entirely possible to do that so. That might feel like an appropriate challenge and the reason I suggest that and prescribe. That is by doing a lot of habits at once. You'RE GONNA learn a lot about how habits work, and how you form habits. Some of those will work, and some of them won't and some of them. Once you tweak it. Find a better anchor. Are you make Tinier or start celebrating more effectively work so doing so if you're that kind of person that has to do big things. Then do a lot of the tiny habit. Recipe applied the method in lots of areas of your life and challenge yourself that way. Is that classic phrase we tend to underestimate what we can accomplish in five years or ten years, and over US may, or we can accomplish in a year and I think that expectations is the perfect example of that we have so many short-term expectations of where things should be, but if we can actually have the courage, I do find, it is courage. It takes courage to actually unplug and tell people that. Because, there's what will they think are? What will somebody else think are? What will I think even sometimes if you're not worried about Avai I find that for a lot of people, but they is the comparison in their head to other people on the voice that they've adopted somewhere in their early childhood. That says you should be this. You should be better. You should be perfect whatever it might be, so we have the courage. To let go. We should be in the short term. There's something beautiful that can happen in the long term is what I'm hearing. You say you know there's the words in the early part of the book that I wrote not as throwaways. would be a big deal, but it turns out. It's one of the most tweeted. One of the most underlined one of the most highlighted in the kindle version it. Stop Judging Yourself. And I didn't expect that to be like a big like emotions create habits. Yeah, that's the headline. Hold Chapter. Emotions created habits. Big Deal I expected that, but stop judging yourself. People have really resonated with that, and they get it, and it's like man I'm glad I was I'm glad I'm glad that's there because it's very direct, and I'm sad that they had to hear it from somebody else's, but I was there, too, so maybe I should be a little more empathetic. Glad it's in the book and I'm glad. People are resonating with the phrase. Stop judging yourself and especially when it comes to behavior change, it's a design process, and it's a system, and that's that's. It's not this thing about me. Or somehow you're going to somehow. Have enough willpower. If you're tapping into willpower, you're doing it. I want to say the wrong way You're doing it in a less. Not Very effective way, and so the fact that you didn't perform the behavior the new habit as you wanted, or the fact that you feel like you need more motivation to the fact that you feel like you're tapping into willpower. All of those are signals to stop, and then go back and redesign and do it. The tiny habits way, not the go bigger. Go home way so those are signals for redesigning. And if you're. If you're judging yourself like Oh intended to read and I didn't well. If it happens the next day, you miss then redesign. If you miss one day, no big things happen and especially now with the. Our behavior is largely a function of our context. The people around us the environment were in the built environment, even the news environment, and so on, and our context recently has changed so dramatically that habits have changed. More dramatically this time than any time in the history of the plan I'm certain that's true. And some things have changed for the better like maybe cooking at home and spending time with family and spending time reflecting or playing a musical instrument, and some things have changed for the worse. Don't beat yourself up over the fact that you may not be getting in the kind of exercise you once did. Your context has changed. That means your habits in your behaviors will change. Take control of your context so from the very beginning I, said three ways to change your behavior for the very very first time I taught tiny habits in two thousand eleven one having a piff. Guess. What? You can't magically get yourself tapping tiffany, so forget about that one, but here the two yet you can't do. Change Your Environment Redesign your environment craft your environments that the good behaviors are easy. The bad behaviors are hard just like popcorn, or whatever good behaviors are easy while I've got musical instruments all over my home. Even here in Maui I've got exercise gear, and so and so it's really easy to do those things, and the third way is to make these incremental changes to our habits, and that's what tiny habits is all about so what we have is redesigning environment and make these incremental lasting changes, and those two things worked together. Powerful, so we promise we come back to it so I want to come back to stopping. The approach different when it comes to stopping, you talked about your approach when it came to stopping popcorn. But why is the different when it comes to stopping a behavior than it is starting one? Well! Some behaviors are very very easy to stop A. Lot, of people, listening to this once had a habit of even before the coronavirus crisis, they were going to the gym and they suddenly stopped. Was that hard now I? Mean so some so I. Talk About Habits being a pill habits, downhill habits and freefall habits. Appeal habits or things are doing that. Take a little bit of Karen feeding such as going to the gym, maybe eating a certain way when you're traveling maybe. A problem set for your physics class. So you do it, but it takes a little bit of effort. Downhill habits once you start really easy to maintain. And you have to put an effort to stop them. And then freefall habits where it's like you. Those are addictions. Those are things where you need professional. Help people that you know. That's why I created. Those categories in the book was to say look. If you have a freefall habit going on, go find the right person organization to help you. so both the the uphill habits resist. Stop the downhill and freefall. Habits I'll talk mostly about the downhill on a few anybody. Listening has an addiction that is harming you. Find the right person organization. Please to help you with that and do some research talk to people and so on and find somebody who can help you. You can don't just read a book, or don't you watch a video on Youtube Because of the death of my nephew, I take those issues very seriously, but then there's other habits like snacking or maybe drinking soda. That aren't life threatening that. Yes, you can address and I talk about those not as breaking bad habits. But I talk about is untangling. And that shift I think is really important. Because the word break implies that it sudden, it's dramatic. It's the function of a lot of effort one moment. That's not how these snacking or smoking or Social Media Habits work. where. It's you think of it as UNTANGLING. Then acknowledges it's a process that takes time. It's something that may seem very confusing at the start, but as you progress, it gets easier and easier. And you start with the easiest. Part of the tangle to unwind so if it's snacking. Maybe there's twelve times during a twenty four hour period that you snack unhealthy ways. Don't try to stop them all at once, and don't pick the hardest one that's like the center of the tangle. Pick the easiest one and either remove the prompt or make it harder to do, or if replace another behavior in for that snack, and then once you've resolved that tangle go to the next one and go to the next one and so. you probably saw it in the appendix through I have a three pages of flowcharts. System and I love systems, and that's what's so exciting. Behavior there's a system, but there's a larger system of how things happened over time and what you can do, and if that doesn't work, then you do this and so on. They wouldn't let me put the flowcharts in the actual text of the book. Because they didn't want people out, so they are in the. Independence and its step-by-step. How do you untangle unwanted behavior? And it's Bam Bam, and if this works this, doesn't you do this? And you take those tangles wanted a time and you say can I remove the prompt if I can't. UPS Can I make it harder to do if you. Can I d. motivate myself if you can't. Then you go to the next part and so on so. it's exciting that system. It's exciting to be able to express it in written form. And just the fact that people are overcoming sugar, addiction or media use our gambling. Problems are even. Being harsh with their kids in they WANNA stop yelling at their kids or criticizing. That's really really great to get those success stories back from people and so. As you saw in the book. I. I would i. I I've been asked for years to right. Where's your book? Where's your book and I was to felt like? I was too busy, felt like had too many things going on. That has innovating another airs until. One Night I had a dream. That I was going to die in a plane crash I really believed I was going to die. And that when I woke up and realized, I wasn't dying in the morning I told my partner said my reaction dying was. Deep deep regret it wasn't out. How painful is going to be wasn't about missing. You are a little dog, Millie. It was deep regret that I hadn't yet shared my work in a way that was accessible to people all over the world. And that was the moment when I was like Nope can stop this project I'm going to deprioritize this boom and then. Led to prioritizing putting it together in a book that includes the system and. Specific techniques and the true stories of people using it so now today it's. You know I think. I had that dream drew because growing up Mormon. Just I'm wired otherwise. I truly believe were much is given. Much is expected. And I believe these insights, and even the ability to do the research, and even the fact that I got into Stanford and was a doctoral student was able to create a lab. Those all of those were gifts to me. They were given to me. I'll say by some higher power I don't quite know how to describe it in a way that I think people get that and the fact that it was I was entrusted with those things. Gives me a responsibility to share those things, and that's what I wasn't doing, and that's what the dream told me. It's like you're not doing this and Psych Yep. You're right, okay? And so, that's why. Having it out this form having you invite me to be on this program. Thank you so much. It's helping me do what I feel is. Not only a good thing to do an important thing to do, but I absolutely must to. This is my responsibility and duty to share this. Yeah so powerful I want to. Thank you for sharing that story with us and opening up with our audience, I think everybody can relate and everybody knows if you are lucky enough often privileged enough to be in a place where you have your basic needs covered on the maslow's hierarchy of needs you start asking. How can I be there for the world and so much of that is the right behaviors in the right template inside of it to help you do the things you need to save money you know. Go towards the goal. Right a little bit You know a few sentences every day. That can help you on the pathway building your own book just like you did and your. Your model is the framework for that, so I want to acknowledge you on. Thank you because you've been teaching and you've been giving as you mentioned in the beginning of this conversation, so much of your time is for free one of the things before I even came to your workshop. Is that you and I hopped on the phone because you could use to keep fifteen minutes, you've reschedule here and there for people to just randomly go book time on your calendar, and that's how the first time I talked to you. This was a while ago and then I ended up when you're workshops, so Bj I want to acknowledge you for being there for. For having the courage after that dream to prioritize the things that mattered to you in that moment for putting out work that is a game changer in another shot up that I want to give for the book that I really like is that there's this whole section back which gives you examples of how to take the tiny habits model, and for different archetypes. Like how can dads who work from home? Use The tiny habits model for? You know in creating some kind of change. How can active older adults use it? How can people use tiny habits for better sleep? So when you see all these different examples, it gives you inspiration in your own life of it can be that simple, and you can start creating new behavior. You know immediately, so it's very powerful and I wanNA. Thank you including that temple inside the book. Thank you well. Thank you again for inviting me on this drew and to be continued. Our are continue contingent cross, and thank you everybody who's listening to me. Ramble on about this. But absolutely absolutely bj, it was an honor. You can find the link to the book. Please purchase it. It's in the show notes below, and until next time gentlemen, thank you. Hi, everyone I hope you enjoy the interview just a reminder. This podcast is for educational purposes. Only as podcast is not I repeat. It's a substitute for professional care by Doctor. Otherwise qualified medical professional is podcast provided on the understanding that it does not constitute medical or other professional advice or services? If you're looking for helping your journey, seek out a qualified medical practitioner. If you're looking for functional medicine practitioner, you can visit I f. m. Dot, Org and searched there find a provider. Database it's important that you have somebody in your corner. That's qualified that trained. That's a licensed healthcare practitioner helping you make changes especially when it comes to your health.

Stanford University California Amazon Dr Bj David Kelly scientist Stanford B. J fogg New York Times founder Peru Dr Fog Mormon Church EPA Mary Megan Brigham Young University drug overdose Brigham
Dr. BJ Miller: ...that independence doesn't really exist

Nobody Told Me!

36:25 min | 1 year ago

Dr. BJ Miller: ...that independence doesn't really exist

"The. Welcomed nobody told me I'm Laura Owens and I'm Jan Black. The healthcare system can be tricky, emotional, frustrating, and overwhelming, and that's why on this episode, we're very glad to welcome Dr bj Miller back to the podcast, Dr Miller is a longtime hospice and palliative medicine physician and educator whose Ted talk on what matters most at the end of life has been viewed more than eleven million times. He's the founder and president of a groundbreaking new organization called metal, health, which provides personalized consultations with patients and caregivers who need help dealing with the practical emotional and existential issues that come with serious illness and disability Dr Miller, thank you so much for joining us again. Guys thank you for having me. It's nice to be back. Tell us more about mental health where the name comes from and why there's really a need for it right now. We'll metal helps is very simply as a place you come to get extra support It's a place online where you can. You don't need a doctor referral you can just come right to us. And scheduled time and we can talk through. All sorts of things ranging from how to approach treatment decisions, how to communicate with your family around illness how to communicate with your doctor how to get what you need from healthcare system. What other resources you might need all sorts of things that go into managing life with serious illness we talk about grades. We do advanced care directives family caregivers are welcome as much as patients. We all know this. Illness doesn't happen to people in a vacuum. So this is a place to come to get support you need when you need it at where did the name come from? Well my partner selling and I were banning around the name for a long time and this. The the name set up because we heard the word used the word metal used and loved it so much simply metal being. One's inner reserve once it's someone finds their metal, they're finding their own resilience either own strength and that fit. So well with what we're trying to do here, we're trying to like coach council people to find their own research rather than this idea that you have to Kinda look outside yourself and master or acquire something new. It's rather a process of looking inward and finding your own strength and that's what we're here to help to and that's metal m. a. t. t. l. e. that's right. Yeah. It's part of the ADS it. Of course, is a lot like metal like with dis like your meddling in someone's business which supposes. Or Metal Med al but anyway, yes. M. E. T. T. L. E. HEALTH DOT COM. Now since you last came on so much has changed in the conversation about death and dying, and it seems like everybody has at least thought about their mortality in a way that maybe they didn't want to think about before unless they actually had a serious illness whatever your observation spin. Well. There you go. Because you just named it, which is. Essential distress that is sort of being confronted with your own mortality and trying to find meaning. In that fact, you know that is existential anxieties befall us all throughout life oftentimes, but very often it doesn't really set in until we were sick or a brush with death or something. The Yanks are attention to this this basic fact of life. And it can be terrifying experience Normally, this happens to individuals and families around illness. This is when I see it most or trauma. But here here here we are as a as a species as a country, but beyond our country, really as a species having an existential. Having an existential moment on. Were all being confronted with our mortality one way or another either very directly or through someone we love and so that's terrifying but it's also enormous opportunity in. In something to take very seriously. So, we can talk a lot of a little bit about that if you guys like but. That's what I'm saying I'm saying existential crisis on mass and how that undoes people in all sorts of ways. It's interesting to see as well how this has opened up a conversation about death and dying for the younger generation for parents with the younger generations with younger kids. How do you even begin to have that conversation? If your kid is still school age and then you see these college age students who are just knowingly spreading it in some cases and they do have somewhat of an idea that it can be a deadly disease what do you say will bring up important that fax alone don't don't do don't don't work it's not just a matter of. Transmitting some of the facts about the krona buyers that's not. That's not cutting it. In so each of us would present it with kind of this kind of information we respond very differently than sort of adolescent minor young adult mind where you feel invincible while then you're going to act invisible and I think a lot of us would have memories of that when we were younger to. Hopefully got through data maturity without hurting ourselves or or somebody else. But in answer your question how to talk to younger people well, it's tricky in general the science around sort of childhood developments. Latest thinking is that you basically are just very straightforward with younger people than you to speak plainly about the facts of life including death you don't use euphemisms because they can be so confusing. And scary for kids. So just plain talk. Kids are very smart whether it's they've already experienced death from their goldfish or from someone in their class or watching the news or through video games one way or another they they already know probably more than most of US imagine. So speaking plainly to them is the idea in I. Think I think the sense here is, yes. Death is a part of life it can come from it can come suddenly or can gradually we never really know and it's something that we humans have learned to live with knowledge in. Really there's a developmental opportunity for young kids to rope this this fact into their developing mind into the way they think. and. That's that's the opportunity here. I think my generation in a and others experience a lot of of obfuscation in we had to revisit the facts of life. As adults because they had been so obscured either food talking about them or from using a confusing language like euphemisms, etc.. Now deputies at young people can rope this into their field of view as at at a young age in a non depressive. And more constructive way. Our nobody told me conversation continues in just a minute after we tell you about better help online counseling. You know you're not alone if in these times of uncertainty, there are issues that are interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals. We've certainly experienced that ourselves if you have to better help online counseling is there for you assessing your needs and matching you with your own licensed professional therapist better help. Allows you to connect with your therapist in a safe private, convenient and affordable online environment you can start communicating and under twenty four hours. This is not self help. It's professional counseling. You can send a message to your counselor anytime and get timely and thoughtful responses plus you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions. Better. Help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches and that's why they make it easy and free to change. Counselors if needed better help has licensed professional counselors who specialize in depression stress anxiety, anger trauma relationships, grief self esteem family conflicts, lgbt matters, and other issues. The services available for clients worldwide, and there's a broad range of expertise which you might now be able to find in your local area. Better. Help is more affordable than traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available. Of course, anything you share is confidential so many people. have been using better health lately that they're recruiting additional counselors in all fifty states and we want you to start living a happier life today. As a nobody told me listener you'll get ten percents off your first month by visiting better help dot com slash nobody join over one million people taking charge of their mental health again, that's better. Help H. E. L. P. dot com slash nobody better help dot com slash nobody. So many people are familiar with you because of your Ted Talk, which as we mentioned, has had eleven million views but for those who aren't familiar with you, you had your own serious brush with death because of an accident in college which resulted in the amputation of one arm below the elbow and both legs below the knees and I'm wondering how that impacted your life and how you are a different person now or how you were a different person in the aftermath of that then before when you were a college kid. Well. Somebody. That's the perfect segue I mean yes. So So that's right this. I was nineteen sophomore in college when this happened electrical burns from screwing around on a train and a semi, just acting invincible like I reference earlier an. Learn the hard way that we're invincible. in that, we're we are very much hurtful and that life is precious again, go away very quickly. So. So in a sense. I had my existential crisis at Ben at age nineteen. And it took me a while but I learned a lot that that experience in that so much lower trying to transmit via mental health but also just these days by conversations like ours in trying to help each other actually settle into this idea that we are. All. By virtue of being alive, we are vulnerable people that things that we are fragile can things can follow very very quickly. So for me. In the end ended up being very opportune at a young age I, got to learn some very very important lessons and then build a life around those lessons. So in this way I'm I'm very grateful to have to have seen this other side of the mountain. At a young age and that's back to the opportunity of the moment. We all could really mature mightily in this period. If we if we pay attention, do you think that based on your near death experience that you've been able to fully accepted the idea of death even though you're still living or does it still seems surreal to you? Great Point I think. You know my sense is that none of us really knows I I've been I've nearly died myself I've lost body parts I've lost family members, etc. I've been with Zillions of patients and families at the end of their lives and I have to say I. I, there's plenty we just don't know. and point we don't know and there's plenty that I can't imagine through this. Assert the circuitry that were that were born with the wiring that we have. It's very difficult for any of us to imagine. Ourselves not existing because everything we imagine comes through ourselves. So it is inherently really really tricky I. Think over the course of a lifetime of with a practice in contemplation and paying attention, we can get pretty darn close. We can at least come to terms with the idea that our time is finite. But I definitely reserve the right when it's my time to actually I in this not an abstract way. But actually when this life my life is coming to a close. I I'd like to say I reserve the right to freak out. I mean I I thought about it forever in an. I don't know I can only eight is a caregiver or as a doctor I can only walk so far in the patients who have died before me. They've taken that last part of the journey with without me, and so I can't comment on it. So I I reserve the right to freak out but I don't think I will. You ever envision a time in this country when we would be denied the chance to be at the bedside of dying. Loved one as so many people have been denied due to concerns about the spread of covid nineteen. while. You know that that is. One of the horrors of the moment. and. It also helps us understand just how important presences in being in someone's company in touch and being able to smell them look in their eyes it Cetera I think. I think we're all a little less likely to take that for granted but but that's not the point of your question I. Think. To, your question, no, I never did imagine this can tell you guys what I what I've seen. Again and again is never mind the pandemic and the constraints there in. One way or another family members friends find a way to avoid the subject find a way to not visit loved ones who are sick or dying find a way to avoid the subject even without covid barring us from each other. So I just also had. So it's a tough moment is really sad there's a lot to learn from it. Including structurally, how can we create healthcare environments that would allow for visitation? How can we stock up on? ps that would allow for visitations etcetera there's a lot we can do structurally there. But on the interpersonal level I think we should all look in the mirror here in say the only it's not just because. Of the pandemic that we that we have found a way to avoid each other important ways. I. Again. I've seen so many don deathbed moments with families where some of the family members couldn't get themselves to be there and it's I don't mean to condemn them. It's just really difficult in other things going on in a life that keep us from each other so. Mrs Toughest this extra hard but it's hard of a theme. That's that's much older than the pandemic. So. Then what do you say to somebody who is dying? Who let's say they know that they're dying let's not say that they have cova things just came up suddenly that knows that they're dying and knows that somebody close to them just can't be with them at the end how can they possibly cope with that and is there any other way that they can get some sort of closure on their relationship with that person without them being there in person that's at all close to the real thing? Yeah. Well, I think I think maybe the answer is the same whether you're the patient per se. or a loved one. That is, of course let's so wear. So when faced with impossible things like traveling to beat each other's presence right now well, we humans adapt. So what can we do? Well, we can talk on video like we can talk by phone we can text, etc. we can write letters on the big fan of letter writing especially at the end of life. Because the look and feel a paper because it's an object someone who received that gets to keep. In a distant parts of different kind of vibe than a text will. So there are ways to communicate to each other in into reveal ourselves to one another across the airwaves. And across space so we should do those things We can grieve the things that we can't do just like any other loss. We can be sat at an just honest about sadness about not being it'll be in each other's presence. and. We can convey that longing like how much we wish to be. That's there's a sweetness in that. And then lastly, I think I think a lot of what this is pointing us to is the inner, our inner lives that you know that our relationships, my relationship with you to, for example, from a previous conversation that might relationship with you exists in me you know at least a part of it, there's a memory there's a feeling that we had together. That's that's for me to tend to tap into that's in me. So I think I also Wanna point everyone's attention inward right now where relationships actually reside and when that person isn't in front of us after that person has gone from this earth that person is still gonna live on inside of us. So each of us has here's an excuse to look to tune into the subtler bodies this subtler parts of our makeup, the quiet voices that get overridden by externalities I think now's the time to really love that piece of us that is connected to other people. We love that's a way of loving each. Hour nobody told me conversation continues in just a minute after we tell you about our sponsor stamps, dot com you know as we slowly adjust to a new normal, we still need to be smart about how we do business. Luckily, they're stamps dot com to make things easier. Thousands of small business owners have discovered the benefits of stamps dot com. 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Simply use your computer to print official US postage twenty, four, seven for any letter, any package, any class of meal anywhere you want to send. Once your mail is ready, just leave it for your mail carrier schedule a pickup or drop it in the mailbox. It's that simple and as we said with stamps, dot com you. Get great discounts to five cents of every stamp and up to sixty two percent off USPS and ups shipping rates Stamps Dot. com is a no-brainer saving you time and money, and right now our nobody told me listeners get a special offer that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a digital scale without any long term commitment. JUST GO TO STAMPS DOT COM click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type in N. T.. M.. That stamps dot com enter and T M. Why do we tend to avoid being with someone during those end of life moments because you said that that's been a theme that you've seen over the years when you've been working in this field why do we avoid them? Is it just because they're uncomfortable and what message would you have for someone who is avoiding seeing a relative who's seriously ill or perhaps terminally ill and coming up with excuses as to why they can't make it to that person side you. You know I think it's I. Think it's there are many variables here I. Mean I think why we as a society have been death avoided for the last century? Is it's a very, it's a, it's a big an interesting conversation. Some of those are inborn variables like genetically I mean, let's let's be. We are wired to run away from death from any threat to our existence there to fight it or or fleet. Right. So there's there's an inborn piece of this just the way we're wire, and so we tend to avoid things Spell obliteration whether it's our own or someone we love That's that's a big thing another. But a lot of the other things are social applications, these layers that we've developed. We've lived in. We've cultivated A society in the twentieth century that was all about a overcoming nature beating back nature whether it's aging or anything else. You know that we're always looking for ways to hack the natural world in Embiid it at its own game, and it's very evident around medicine and in society at large that we have this sort of attitude. And so there's the we've. We've made an enemy of this part of our nature, and so that is another piece of why we avoid why we act weird around it and it also has kept us unpracticed I mean before modern society. We all anyone who's been on the plane and for more than a couple of weeks would have been introduced to death. Everyone lived within families who had lost siblings at early age at an early age if you most of us were tied into agrarian lifestyle. So we had a sense of the cycles of nature. How life and death come together. So. But we're removed from those cues largely now. So we're just unpracticed at this subject and it makes us uncomfortable and then we start projecting our stuff on our stuff on each other and to rationalize it, the person wouldn't WanNa see us anyway all this stuff. So in the end, that's those are some of the ways you get here but they're all potent forces now need to be taken seriously and I don't mean to beat any of ourselves. Our each other are ourselves up this is this is this make sense, and so it's GonNa, take a little effort to overturn it. I think especially with what's going on right now it's probably a good conversation to have with your loved ones to say, Hey, if I were to come down with covid nineteen and. Not regained consciousness after going to the hospital, this is what I would want to happen. I WOULD WANNA be on a ventilator. I wouldn't want to be on a ventilator would want you guys to go to these extremes or those extremes and I feel like as many times as we discussed the possibility of death with Kovin. I think most of us are pretty hesitant to go to that extreme. I'm thinking about the conversations, my mom and I have had we've talked about died from covert and the seriousness of it, but there's something that doesn't quite let us get to the level of hey, if this happened to me, this is what I would want to be done. And I think a lot of it. You is that we would be making really uninformed decisions, and since we're not having a conversation or making even more uninformed decisions, we don't know what would you recommend? Well. Great points, guys, I mean so yes, one of those things, one of the great things that could that is happening is more and more people are turning their attention. So their advanced directives advanced care planning, living wills, estate, planning all this all that goes into preparing for that eventuality of someday you're going to be not here. So that's wonderful. I mean that's a very healthy response but to your point advance care directives are difficult to fill out because they contain decontextualize information in most of us don't know enough for what goes into these decisions. What the? Trade. Offs. Excuse me what the trade offs are around these decisions. So it it's a weird exercise to be able to first of all difficult enough as we've been talking about project ourselves into this future state where we're at death's door. But even if you can manage to do that navigating the questions, you're asking advanced directive divorce from the the details of what that means that looks like and feels like is a is a really challenging prospect. The trick here is now a couple of things one is that the best care directives best directives, you can change your mind gazillion times. In fact, most people do these are not one time conversations, your own attitude towards your own demise and how you might WanNa, go out and what's important you will change over the course of a lifetime. So we should all get in the habit of revisiting our advanced directives over time. That's one big point. Another big point air is these are some rough guidelines. That will guide your family physicians in the event that you cannot advocate for yourself. These these advanced directives only kick in when you can't speak for yourself. Okay. So it's not. It doesn't it. It's not as high stakes as it might feel. You. Can you so that that's another big point. Third would be. A piece of council here would be to talk to others review your advanced directive with your doctor talk to your family about it It barring all that come talk to us at Mental Health this is a lot of what we do is walk people through these kinds of decisions and help them understand what goes into these and what the trade offs are at Cetera. So I don't mean to be plugging mental health but I. But this is a this is a good use of counseling like ours mental health or otherwise talk to clinicians who understand what goes understand what goes into these decisions. And that will help allot. Our nobody told me conversation continues in just a minute after we tell you about one of our favorite sponsors air medicare network much like our extraordinary guests on nobody told me many Air Med care network members have their own inspiring stories to share. They never thought the unthinkable would actually happen to them. But when it did, they were relieved to have their A. M. C. N. 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I know you have said before that only a small percentage of us like ten to twenty percent will die without warning and the rest of us will have time to know what's going to end our lives. How can you find joy when your own life or the life of a loved one is nearing an end? You know it sounds really difficult to do that, and then tell you realize this is one of the reasons why I think it really pays to ponder your mortalities you realize. We're always at that state we're always vulnerable things could always change in a heartbeat and so one of the things to dispel here is that living with illness or the end of life is somehow very exotic or removed from living in the rest of your life. There are differences along the way shades of gray. The most part you know the task of a person's got one data live is not so different from the task of someone who's got know infinite number of days to live. So. I would say your questions a great one in it sounds so challenging on the front face of it but I don't think it's any more challenging than finding joy in any other day. Especially once you're kind of keyed into the facts of nature and even through your empathy that the pain of others going on around you, there's this all sorts of ways to touch this bigger reality and it that bigger reality that includes pain and sorrow and regret. Well. The other thing to think about their realized there is those are wonderful foils for joy. I. Had never mind experience after losing limbs when I got out of the hospital, I was never more in love with the natural world. With human beings including the natural including human beings and I was at that point because my own pain in my own loss. Helped me see more clearly how potent joy was in how amazing beauty was in. So in this way, actually one sets you up for the other pretty nicely if that makes sense. Yeah. Do you think that based on your observations? Collectively as a society, it has made us more great full or more anxious, anxious or depressed since we've all had to think about our own death with the covid pandemic. I think all of the above really I think most of us are cycling through I. Think we know there's much to be grateful for, but some summoning the actual feeling of gratitude is different than just saying the words. Like most of us, myself included rapidly cycling through these adjectives in our daily lives. These states being in daily lives. So. I think that's just normal. That's because we are in free fall. It's not like the Kovin happened we just need to respond to it still happening this isn't unfurling event still unfurling we're don't really totally know what we're dealing with or when it will end. So we are in this prolonged essential sort of anxious state. So my answer, your questions, all of the above in my. Follow on point would be this is why This is how we're all GONNA learn a new level of empathy in new level of patients new level of compassion at a new levels of love really if we let it if we hang in there. I'm sorry I just want to say that's that's not gonNA come by avoiding anxieties. That's GONNA come by with withstanding gangs is going through those things. So you're pretty hopeful than that after the pandemic after the vaccine is found, and hopefully the pandemic is over one day that we will carry on this level of gratitude. Do you think it's going to make us really feel like, wow, you know we we dodged a bullet. We know how fragile this do you think people are just going to be forgetting about it? You know how people are. Myself included it's amazing. I can go through some torment for weeks or months, and the moment moments it's over. I'm so it's like it's like I get immediate Amnesia I can't remember that I was in pain for months on end it's. Childbirth. Down began yelling. Yeah. I mean like Acre your word for. ME I. Honest. So this is this is I think how we're wired. So this is going to happen. We are going to have these muscle memories at Yankees back into old ways. And there's a piece of us. That's a detonates adaptive. You WanNa ponder your miseries that have just passed for too long. So we should all watch ourselves I do think that this you know this crisis the question is, is this crisis deep and long and thorough enough to actually change behaviors we've had crises over the course of our lifetimes. Major financial crises in various things have gone wrong in a big systems way. So but they didn't last long enough to actually change behavior. You know they weren't deep enough. So we'll see we'll see if this one is I. Really I am optimistic that like the Great Depression, this will be something that we've gone through together and can look back on and remind ourselves. that. This happened that this happens there will be and will be lasting damages and impacts effects that's going to change the makeup of daily life I. I believe that's all going to happen and in a way that's good news I want this to let us change I want. I want us to marinate in this difficulty long enough that we are compelled to change because in. So many ways we were living in a way that wasn't really sustainable. So. Stay tuned we will see but I am. In a weird way, I'm optimistic that the pain is great enough that we will pop out changed, and in this way I am for change I think being changed by life is one of the greatest responses to it ever. BJ. Our show is called nobody told me and we always ask our guests at the end. What is your nobody told me lesson and I know you have so many valuable lessons to pass onto people. But what would you like to say what is it that nobody told you about life or death or a pandemic that you had to learn the hard way and you think would be a really valuable piece of advice for others. While couple one, the mind is probably my favorite shows nobody told me that independence doesn't really exist. Nobody told me that this thing that this vaunted. Of Independence that we all seek as Americans in particular was was. Was a high state that one can approach but never really get to. We always need each other. It's just a matter of degree. The world is not filled with dependent people versus independent people. We are all on that spectrum so. My nobody told me would be the nobody. told me that independence doesn't really exist. I love that I. Love. Naturally we love. Yeah. Yeah, and Bj how can people connect with you and learn more about mental health? Come visit us at mental health dot COM. Or Twitter I. Think it's should notice at metal underscore health. or at bj Miller nd as the other twitter account for us there's also our book. Beginner's guide to the end a book that came out last year all about preparing for the end of life, and that's got its own website which is the acronym, A. B. G., T. T., DOT com. So a the above. All right. Well, thank you so much. It is always such a pleasure to talk with you and you make you make difficult subjects very comfortable discuss and we really appreciate that. Yeah really you guys for the form. It's nice to hear your voices again. Yeah. You actually make the topics fund which. I don't. Really need a fun way to talk about this right now I guess. One is part of the whole life experience to I will tell you one of some of the funniest people you'll ever meet our hospice nurses. There's there's something like I said if something's not funny about death, but death makes a good case for humor being really important. Really really. Wow. Wow. I could be nobody. TOLD ME I. Will be Jay. Thank you again for joining us. It's my pleasure. Thank you. Guys are the said you to our thanks Dr Bj Miller. Again, he is the founder of Metal Health M. E. T. t. l., e. health. It's a fabulous service and you really should check it out mental health dot com at again he's the CO author with Shoshana Berger of the book a beginner's guide to the end practical advice for living life and facing death I'm Jan Black and I'm Laura a wins you're listening to nobody. Told me thank you so much for joining us. Hello.

Pandemic Mental Health Dr bj Miller US M. E. T. t. l. founder and president Laura Owens Jan Black Metal Med Dr Miller partner Yanks Twitter Ted H. E. L. Embiid Ben
BJ Miller: Loving What Is

Everything Happens with Kate Bowler

30:03 min | 2 years ago

BJ Miller: Loving What Is

"My name is Kate bowler. And this is everything happens. One of the things my father-in-law said when I first got sick was that life is a series of losses by which, of course, he meant that he couldn't play racket ball anymore because of his bad, knees hilarious. But he wasn't wrong. Life is a series of losses. At some point you peak. So how do you live when you're on the downslope when you find yourself in the second half of life? Or when you had an injury or chronic illness, and now life is limited, or what about if you feel like you can't ever reach your full potential because people are depending on you. How do you spend your time and resources when you just have less? Today's episode is for everyone who feels like they might not climb every mountain. How do we make choices? How do we live? Well, my guest today is Dr BJ Miller. He is a hospice and palliative care specialist. But before he became a doctor, he became a patient. I'll let him tell you about it historian has been featured on Oprah Super Bowl Sunday on the Ted stage, and in his new book, a beginner's guide to the end where his work in end of life care seeks to connect art spirituality, and medicine to offer us, a new way to live and die. Well, BJ? I'm so grateful to be talking with you today. Thank you, Kate to meet you. I also hate the fact that at the very beginning of getting to know each other that I will ask you about the terrible part. I really don't mind though. We're gonna wear it on my sleeve, you know, sophomore year college nineteen ninety. So I was nineteen just after thanksgiving holidays, we are just coming back, and it was a Monday night, and I was off to the computer lab to pronounce a paper and ransom, friends, we decided to go have a drink or two and just relax me. Didn't go wild. We were going to go get a sandwich, the wow all market and we're walking across campus. And there's a commuter train that just sits there in the corner of the campus and it was out, non-operating I was just sitting there. And we climbed it like you climate tree. I happened to be the first one up an jumped when I stood up. I had a the, the wires the power for the train the power source of the train is overhead. So it's not like a diesel train people might know. So when I stood up, I had a metal watch on and I got close enough to the power source and the electric arc to my watch entered the arm and ground down. Blue blew out my both legs. And then that was it, then I was taken to burn unit New Jersey to eventually to Saint Barnabas hospital. And I was in there for several months and had a series of amputations surgically and, you know, touch and go for a while. But it all in the end I did I got out. I got out. Wow. That sounds like it was a very long season of recovery. Yeah. And you say that you adopted the attitude of, like fake it till you make it, and that I'd love to hear more about that. Yeah. I mean, it's sort of like a lot of things went, right? As has has to happen. I had a lot of support. I got great medical care ahead. Beautiful friendships and people really rose to the Cajun and rallied, and my family like my parents, I don't I've never heard of this. I don't know if this ever happens. But somehow my parents who are that time, we're living in Chicago. They moved into the hospital in New Jersey, I was in the burning for about three months or so. Anyway, the point is I had pounds of support a really was trying to recreate a life and Fiat who I was, and who I was and all. And there's a lot of pain as you can imagine your body is not so much friend times, but I could see land. You know, thanks to my family friends, I could I was out into sea, but I could see land, like they held the shore for me. The wet felt was. They, they loved me. They held the other end of the bridge. They love me and touched me, in looked at me and, and didn't condescend. They cared for me while I filled in the blanks myself, while I came to love myself, again on some level where I came to accept my new lot. That was the faking, it part was like, okay, guys, I have faith in you and you seem to still care about me, so I'm gonna I'll care to honor your what you're doing on her life, and your out care, too. And I'm going to try and, and eventually, you know, filled enough gaps that I could stand up and walk around and, and walked across the bridge back to land. You know. Yeah. I am that makes sense. That people set the horizon for sometimes, and then sometimes even just them being there like study, prosperity churches forever, and they have their own version of fake it till you make it like it's our obligation to always be Chipper and sort of enact, what you hope to achieve. But what you're describing as a much richer version where people's love in us can reconstitute our own expectations of life could be again because frankly, I don't know about you. But I think I think life is generally way more amazing than I'm able to treat it in. I don't often hard to feel up to the bigness that it is. Yeah. So I watch myself and other sort of reduce it to make it, manageable, knowable, etc. But heroes are cast into a more way bigger field that took a while to catch up with. Yeah, but in so many ways, it was, of course an enormous eye opener. And to your point strange. Do this to you know hold hold that bridge. Hold that horizon. And remind us, how amazing life is until I can tell I myself can get back up there and actually believe it, too. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. I think the part, I find exhausting is, when Americans, she said, lovingly have this deep desire to believe that we are all limit lists. I. Sounds like you from a very early age became more comfortable with limitation than maybe other people. I think that's true. By force. You know, in some ways, I the trajectory was heading for a relative limitless, nece was hyper educated, white, man, you know, able bodied all that stuff. I mean, I had the running start, you know, but I think from an early age. I think if you just pay attention, and I certainly Assad much to my mother who lives with polio. So I've been around disability forever. I've been thinking about limitations in ways that would probably be different from my peers as a kid, I can't begin to unpack how helpful my family has been to me in terms of the example. They've set my mom in particular, my dad how he treats my mom at cetera et cetera. But this idea that people like, oh, if you can dream it, it will happen seem do anything in positive ISM and, and especially in California cheese in the bay area. Oh my Lord, you know, like, if you knowledge limitation, you dislike a party pooper, you almost feel like you're gonna be running a town. I this is the land of dream dare you not. Dare you. Not send me your good vibes only how tear you. Yeah. Yeah. And I think an because aids unrealistic, and that's a huge problem. But be like I am not only accept the idea of limitations, but I'm amored with them I understand and a very base level. The relationship between limitation and creativity like that is, what humans are really, really good at we're not amazing creatures of nature. You throw you or me out in the woods. We were kind of toast. My cat would do way better than us right on spice some measure because of our limitations. We find work arounds. We get creative. We adapt like no other species, that's walked this earth, and that is completely related to our limitations. So I I'm enamored with them almost grateful for my limitations. You know, I really appreciated the way that so much of this is born from your insider's perspective hearing. You talk about your experience as a patient. I just loved even just what the word patient concert up for you. You're like asking people to remember that, like when you're in the bed, you have to be patient with your own limitations. You have to live in a world. That is bounded for you in ways you might not impact. And seems like when you come into the room, you bring a kind of three sixty view to that, maybe for your own patients. I really do think I feel very lucky in so many ways we can open that up. I don't wanna be pollyannish all in any of this, but I will say where relates to my profession. I do feel very fortunate to have had the experiences as a patient in, you know, I have taught a fair amount in the school of medicine school nursing here, and he's he has and you know, find myself with these. Slightly sadistic fantasies that all in one is going to clinical work, somehow ends up having something horrible go wrong landed them in the bed, essentially, because it's such an incredible education. And it provides insight sense. You're gonna be hard pressed to get from a book and because my disability is so dang obvious. I just get to walk in a room and immediately everyone knows I've been through something, I've been, I've been a patient, somehow my life, didn't go as I had hoped or planned that just immediately practically. Instantaneously gets me too. I think a better place with pitches, perhaps, maybe a more trusting place. I got sick and I wanted treatment I immediately thought that when someone said, palliative care, they meant that they were giving up treatment for right? Right. But I mean it's not, would you mind, just telling us a bit about some of the misconceptions of palliative care, palliative care. I mean, the word pally. Gauges simply means to ease into cloak, that's it. I mean it's basically multiple disciplines getting together on behalf of lessening suffering, and optimizing feeling good. You know feeling as well as possible. That's the goal of powder care, period, irrespective you could have one hour to live. You can have a century to live. It doesn't matter so to beat so super clear with your listeners, you do not need to be dying anytime soon to benefit from of care, you just need to be struggling, and it's pretty darn easy to struggle and struggle with the healthcare system. There's, there's no shame in palliative care can be almost more of a way of life. Like even just accepting the idea that we're limited. And that was hard for me to come to. But I was kind of blown away when you described it in musical, terms, and you talk to the crescendo and just being able to follow the song through till its end, that's kind of a heart of it. It for me, whenever I hear you give a talk is just you've come to accept limitation in this really generative way. Gosh, too wonderful. Takeaway, that message. Does really make sense to me? Then you're in an engaged point of view. Your, your heels leaning into your life. You're working with your limitations. You're working with reality. You're working with a fuller view of reality. Reality's pretty amazing at horror, but amazing and to sort of divvy it up and say this part of life is no, I'm gonna that's not for me. I'm going to have all positives. No negative. Honestly, I'd almost rather we just banned adjectives altogether. Just just deal with whatever is good, bad black, white rich, poor so much harm gets done by our labels. When Todd ourselves that we are one thing, where saying all the things that were not in the truth is, I, I would have never interesting that about how you feel Kate with your dance with illness, but. I have to believe I would have learned some of these lessons, otherwise, but, you know, I have come to love my life and loving, my life means loving every ounce of it. I don't get to hand pick and quilted together, I have to love all of it. That's the charge and that I've learned really directly related to my injuries. I don't know how else to say, I think what's hard though for me like when I allow my mind to just do that reach. Right, where it can try to love all the scope of it think, what's so hard, though, is I just keep bumping up against the fear. I think it's hard for me because I you know, I'm so grateful for everything I've discovered once I realized that I was on the losing team, you know, I've come to really embrace that, but whenever I want to embrace it keep bumping up against being afraid. Afraid of anything in particular, I guess, just like if I don't live long enough, then I will have not, you know, been a mom for long enough for been daughter for long enough for a wife, like I guess, a lot of is just focused on the people. I love and I don't know. Yeah. That part like incompleteness I guess, scares me. Sometimes. Well, and I don't pretend to have advice for you. But do you think to whatever degree your life might be incomplete in the end? Do you think there is such a thing as a complete life? Is there a line in there? Yeah. Yeah. 'cause I guess one of the things I really appreciated about. Reading your work and, and listening to you is. It makes even the shorter. Something's feel a bit fuller. You know, like if you can work with the end in mind like you can live with more richness, I guess it just feels like richness for me. Sometimes like we can't know if we've given enough to the world, I guess, if that makes sense what would be, what would what the heck would be enough. Yeah. I mean win. Would it be enough? And how long is alone life? Yeah. The I I have a different view of that now. And I, I wish I knew that math. I wish you could anyone could just give me that math he'd be like Ari forty four. That's it. You just have to have forty four and you'd be awesome. No such luck life way. More mysterious in his knit. It is. Way, more demanding I used to have this, totally lame desire to have an app that would like go off. So I'm always at these academic conferences, and there's like two thousand receptions and I'm always at a reception. Someone's like oh, hey, we should go down the hall to this reception. And then you're at this other reception and truly. It's lame. And you're really wishing you were at the other one and long ago I decided, wouldn't it be awesome. If you had an app that went off when you were at peak fun, and then you could relax. And really enjoy what you're what you're doing. And when I read your staff I thought all man like how do you learn to be more tuned to peak life? So that you're not the person who lives with regret. And I part of it is like, giving up, maybe on the framework of regret. Well, I've really surprised myself at how prone to regret, I've become of late, and I don't and I don't really understand why. And so I'm wondering what it's trying to tell me, and I do, I do have a bratty piece of me that just doesn't understand that I can't be everywhere at once. I honestly, don't get it. Maybe I'm a narcissist. Maybe I think I could do anything and everything I totally think founded. I love. Yeah. Wanna feel like offended that I can't like there's a piece of me that wants to, like pout. Yeah. And it's an old piece of me sometimes it kind of pops out and gets a little bit more air than others have been in zone lately, were just infants filled with regret. I start my day and my day with feelings of regret. I don't know what to do with it, but I it does put me back to something I was going to say about fear, which is, I think part of the message of this way of rolling all experience into a life of full life. In other words, I think that must mean having the full spectrum of emotions, including fear. And so, like, at least technique, it's worked for me with for fear. And with some of my patients is like no, you get to be afraid the goal here is to stamp out those pesky untidy emotions. No, no, no. It's much bigger charge. Like existential, fears are to be listened to our to be heated are as a feels like a reminder in saying, hey, hey, you're not gonna live forever. Hey, hey, take it seriously. Man. Use your time. Hey appreciate it right now. And that is related to find meaning it's out there make it created relate pal while you can do it while you can, it's a regret avoidance kind of muscle in us. And so, in other words, there's something vital about existential, fear versus like fear of snakes or fear of heights. Will you just avoid snakes go up on heights? This is the fear to be respected. It's a fear that I think that demands and gets easier, the closer, we look at it the more we work with rather than try to run from it. Of late fear. What a smart thing to say because I, I don't wanna be one of those bucket list, e people who are like nothing is important if I haven't seen the pyramids. And then, you know you see other people who want to treat life, like it's this really awful all you can eat buffet, like maybe like the Denny's kind where just. No, no, no. You're just like consuming forever. I do really love the idea that it does make you make different decisions when you live with the end in mind. In a positive way on balance? He am. I get why a lot of us try to run away from all this stuff. If we could actually run away from all these pesky thoughts and are more county, if it were possible, I might go for advocating for that I guess I'm just here to say it's not possible charity, four for like I've seen. I've done a survey everyone dies given the results of the survey, I've come back to. I've changed my mind and turns out, right. No, exactly. I think that's a really important piece. It's not like I love death of limitations just so because I'm got some weird dark streak is just. No, I love them because they exist. And my charge try to love what exists including myself, so that feels like an important asterisk in this. Yeah. You have this new book a beginner's guide to the end. And when I read it, it felt like a real, how to guide like reminded me when I was reading what to expect when you're expecting when I was pregnant, and it has this very similar like practical. No secrets. You know, kind of approach a list of almost things to be prepared for. And so who is this book for it is, it is meant to be extremely practical? But supportive to we hope we hope we got the tone. Right. One of the challenges with all this stuff with a how to guide with, with any sort of constructive, preparation, work round dying. If you're not careful, I've watched myself, do this with people accidentally. You know, we talk about the aspirated about the -tunities along the way about what can still be how to reframe hope not LA all really important. But if you follow some of the logic out, you might feel a sort of pressure to get it, right. And the last thing on earth. I or Shoshana, my co author ever would want to do is set people up to feel like they're failing at dying. You know, the second, we say, here's a way to deal with it, so you're not quite so miserable. And if someone doesn't do all those things, and they're a little bit more miserable than they wanna be. And then they're crap. Now, I failed at die. I can't even die. Well, you know, like that would be horrible. I hope to God that we got that tone, right? But that's a really important distinction. The very first line in the book is there's nothing wrong with you for dying preparation planning is important. But if there's a real big meta message, it's don't be ashamed of your nature. Don't be ashamed to die. Don't do that to yourself. They've got enough pain to deal with. And it was also nice in its scope, because it's for people who are sick or people who are elderly, and also those who love them. Yeah, it is meant for so wouldn't so Sean, our writing this thing beast, we were trying to figure out your question who who the heck has really gonna read who's the audience and what we decided to try to do is to write to the patient, the person who's actually just got a diagnosis, or somewhere on the spectrum of life, either coming to an end or of being challenged to our bones. So it's meant to be practical and information is geared to the patient in the tone is geared to the patient as a rule. But the secondary audience is the caregiver and our thesis is probably that more caregivers will read the book than patients, although it seems important to respect the patient and speak directly to him or her. It's one of the things that happens on you've had this experience Kadish. It's amazing how people find ways to see. Okay. Through the actual patient, especially if they're in a I don't know if you've ever noticed those at all the time with people in wheelchairs, like my mom uses the wheelchair. I'll be with her people will talk to meet not hurt people talk, my dad, and not her people, see right through her cell, for so many reasons we didn't want to actually make that mistake. And assume that the patient wasn't reading this. No. There, there are primary audience. I'm just thinking about what you said about minimizing fear. And it made me wonder what kind of advice you might have or we might be able to come up with for people who want to be a little more comfortable with their losses. For me. What has been very, very helpful is when I serve pondering loss, pondering grieve. Pondering coping is reminding myself that the loss hurts because we care because we love they are absolutely directly correlated. And so that has allowed me to when I feel loss when I feel grief, I've gotten much better at reminding myself. Hey man, that's love talking, and that's just cast a totally different climate, you know, around the suite of sensations that go along with all this, and that reminder has proven at least for me, and some of my patients has been very, very helpful. Like making a little bubble around it that says, like this is beautiful. That's why it matters. That's why matters. And that's why it hurts that it's going. That's why you know, that's it's completely directly related. It's not a silver lining, or a fringe benefit. No, no, no. This is wonder like a one to one correlation relationship between things you love and grief. Maybe even just that image. You gave at the beginning of the bridge. It feels good to be anchored by both people and it feels good. Also just to, to see our lives as bridges where we know the beginning. And we're all kind of hoping we're just near the middle. But like it's good just to see the other side to see the destination. And just get that sense of horizon, that comes with seeing the scope of our lives. Yeah. Is grounding. Yeah. I think yeah in some way we, we know where we're headed. Yeah. Makes us great at parties. People love it when it up. Man. I'm so glad you're in this club with me, it really makes you really happy. Well, it's getting bigger our little clubs. We'd art is there's going to be a lot of a lot of people begging to come to this party. There's some truth to that. I mean, you know, our stories are going to become less, and less exotic, you know, just by the demographics. And that's kind of fascinating notion. Well, my deep hope is that we all become a little more comfortable with the scripts the social scripts around suffering. And maybe in the meantime, I'll take racket ball up just to piss. My father moth. Hey, thanks so much for talking with me today. This was such a trait. Thanks, kate. drives me a little crazy every time. Someone says the best is yet to come because I wanted to feel okay again to say lovingly sometimes it isn't. Sometimes we lose things. Sometimes we have. Crescendo d-. Sometimes we have finished singing, the song of our amazing Racquetball career. Sometimes we finished humming, the tune of our parenthood, either, because we didn't have that baby. Or they've grown. Maybe you're playing the closing notes of a parent's life or friend or child. I want it to feel okay again for us to sing knowing that some day, the last note will be sung. I have a lot to sing about. I may never be an amazing Racquetball ball player. Sorry dad, but I can make different choices. If I'm allowed to work backwards asking myself, how I might spend my time best efforts gifts and resources knowing that I am limited. There's this beautiful story in a tool. Go on days book, being mortal about a study where people were asked who they wanted to spend time with, so they asked little kids and teenagers and adults and the elderly, and they found it went like this little kids wanted to spend time with their family and teenagers wanted to spend time with their friends, and by the time you asked the guy in his thirties he wanted to meet Bano, but then the closer people grew to death, the more they wanted to spend time with their closest friends and family again, the horizon shrunk back to that beautiful precious. Inner circle, I get that we make different evaluations about what to do with our time when we live with an awareness of the end and what a gift to be able to see that with such clarity. So let's sing our songs about our beautiful. Dick Yetlis lives. We will peak and crescendo and approach the finale hoping for a pretty damn good finish. I took a burning as a hobby it hidden in one of his, and I had resisted his efforts in my to get into. I took it up because they gave us something to talk about while he was sick other than talking about that. He was sick when they die. I confess. I burnt a lot after his. It made me feel connected to him as well as giving me space degree in September. Two license fifteen. My son was born sleeping and his death. Hit me with such sends shock trauma that grief. I had never really experienced before and I was like ways and I wasn't really sure how to recover from not a little while. At least there, I wanted to see some high move my focus from something, I couldn't do something like I wanted life. And so, I started to choir with my kids school, and we had thirty kids coming along and together, we signed, and it was a joy it is something that I would have the time or the energy was able to fiction today if I hadn't experienced, such as Syria, most whilst I would not wish to go through again. I'm thankful for where's this brought me? I wrote poetry after my grandfather died. The helped me better capture the little details about him that I was. Afraid of forgetting, I find that I often lose those small details in longer form writings so poetry was a nice challenge that cups, pop up breathing on the page. so many thinks goes to our amazing partners to make this all possible. The John Templeton foundation. Lisa car fund, the Lillian dammit North Carolina public radio. W UNC, faith, and leadership, an online learning resource and Duke divinity school. Not to mention my team Beverly able, Jessica Ritchie, and be the change revolutions. I'd love to know what you think we've review on apple podcasts and find me online at Kate. See bowler this is everything happens with me. Kate bowler.

Kate bowler New Jersey Racquetball Dr BJ Miller Saint Barnabas hospital California polio Fiat Duke divinity school John Templeton foundation Chicago Syria Assad North Carolina Dick Yetlis
103: Kwik Challenge - A Simple Way to Create BDNF

Kwik Brain with Jim Kwik

10:58 min | 2 years ago

103: Kwik Challenge - A Simple Way to Create BDNF

"Welcome quick, brain bite-size, brain hacks for busy people who wanna learn faster and achieve more. I'm your coach Jim quick three. Listen. Listen, imagine if we could access one hundred percent about brains passan, I wasn't high wasn't wired. Just clear I knew what I needed to do. And how to cook food? Showman. Welcome to today's quick brain challenge. And if you're new to this rethinking, Jim what is the challenge? What are you doing there with your toothbrush in the bathroom such a weird place to be able to film podcast episode? And I'm here to say, you're absolutely right. And really it's about being different. It's not about being better. But it's about being different today because in order to activate your quick brain. Requires novelty novelty and nutrition helps you to spur on neurogenesis neural plasticity and actually helps you to create what they call brain derived, neurotrophic factors, be D And F novelty does that and so why I right now in the bathroom. I'm gonna talk about the challenge today, which is to brush your teeth. Your like, Jim I brush my teeth at least once or twice a week had brush your teeth with the opposite hand. And now you're thinking, Jim why would I want to do this? I'm going to set you up for success. So I. Of all which comes change. And that's what these challenges are all about that information by itself is not power knowledge is not power. It's only potential power only because power when you what when you apply when you utilize, and that's the effect you one because having books or just learning new things, but not applying it your life is no better. And so we wanna take knowledge turn into actions. He could produce a result. And most of all the purpose of these quick brain challenges is to get you to do different things every single day. They say that the average person has about sixty seventy thousand thoughts day the challenges. Ninety ninety five percent of them are the same pots they had yesterday and the day before that you can't affect real big change or transformation. If you're doing the same thing, right because you know, this insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So I'm gonna train you to activate your quick brain. So you automatically want to act and apply and the way we do that is by taking simple step. Ups you've listened to episodes. We've done in the past on the power of habits. We've done episodes with Dr BJ fog from Stanford University to episodes with him on how to create new habits, and how to break limiting habits, I advise you to listen episode. We also did episodes with James clear on Tomek habits. Listen that episode, but all of them start with making little tiny steps and swim and ask you to do every single morning as part of your morning routine. As you're brushing your teeth using as a reminder and a trigger to try brush your teeth with the opposite hand now here couple reasons number one, it trains, you to be mindfully present that what's the benefit of that most people are so distracted. But how do you maintain your focus and concentration and a world full of ABC notified and social media Lert and all these different things that are vying for your attention. He trained the muscle of focus and presence when you're brushing your teeth with the opposite hand if forces you to be in the. Moment and that power of presence that presence fitness the attention mussel that you're building make it really fit that will show up when you need to be present. When you're remembering someone's name when you're reading something, and you get easily distracted trains, those muscles to be present. With what you're reading and also studying, so that's number one trains your presence of mindfulness. The second reason you wanna use the opposite hand as as research done at Duke University, the department of neuroscience and biology by Dr Lawrence Katz, he wanted to find out how to keep seniors minds alive as they aged. And what he found was simple exercises like eating with the opposite hand or brushing your teeth with the opposite hand show, your challenging yourself that we know that there's a mind body connection. But there's also a body my connection that has the body moves the brain grooves, actually stimulates different parts of the brain. So we'll really will were doing here. You're trying to brush your teeth with the opposite hand, it's gonna feel difficult. It's gonna. Feel a little bit weird. But the reason why is your creating new neural pathways in your clearing up. The metaphorical traffic jam that's in people's minds when it comes to memory. They're slow to remember things because that freeways, not clear, and so you're moving things around your challenging yourself, a new wage or making new connections because as your body moves your brain grooves because we've seen research that if somebody has a stroke, for example, on the left side of their brain if they are paralyzed process, manifests. It will have on the opposite side one part of your brain controls opposite side your body and vice versa. But scientists finding is not just a brain body connection. There's a body brain connection that using different part of your body will actually stimulative apart of your mind, and that helps you to build that brain derived neurotrophic factors, neurogenesis plasticity, new brain cells and new connections, and that's gonna build your brain, fifths, brain muscles. If you will. So I challenge you to do for those reasons number. One trains your muscle, a fitness number two with trains, different part of your mind. And the third reason is he want to train yourself to do difficult things. Because the point of doing these challenges which comes change that the treasure you seek is found in the worker avoiding and it trains you to take on little difficult things because if you want to easy life, you don't do easy things busy things to procrastinate the put things off. But the hard thing is to do the hard things as to do the work that you need to do. Because if you just do the easy things life is hard. But if you do the hard things in life life becomes easier to your training yourself in the first thing in the morning to do something difficult because you're training muscles. So maybe it shows up in the areas where you need to make a call sales call or e need to give a presentation or maybe you need to fire somebody giving them have a difficult conversation with them. And so because you both that muscle of grit. So that's the third reason. So you up for the challenge what I'm going to ask you to do is take a picture. I don't look good. I'll have makeup on first thing in the morning. Take a picture of you holding your toothbrush in the opposite hand or maybe in the mirror and posted if you're willing to hash tag quick challenge. K W, I k challenge and let me know how this works for you. And then the best thing about this is this is something you do for today. But then try it again tomorrow and the next day. I just read this post on Instagram. Many of us connected. We're friends on Instagram and Facebook one woman they've been doing this challenge brushing teeth with the opposite hand, and they're like Jim is. So remarkable today actually didn't even realize halfway through brush my teeth. I was doing with the opposite hand, and what you've trained yourself to do is to train yourself the ability to be able to create new habits, and if you want a different life, you need to change your habits because I you creature habits, and then your habits, create you. And so if you get really good doing new things and creating new habits what other things can you do maybe create a habit of mindfulness? Habit of saying I love you habit of eating the right food a habit of working out every single day. So I had a mental level. You're developed the habit of creating empowering habits now serve you in so many different ways. So here's the challenge right now is to do this first thing in the morning. Do it at nighttime. Everytime. You brush your teeth that your reminder doesn't take any extra time. We'll feel awkward at first because it's different. That means it's good because you're doing something brand new because it was just easy then you just be the same person every single day. So you're challenging yourself with challenge yet changed so take screen shots up. So or take a picture of you using your opposite hand while you brush, your teeth hosted let me know how it goes and continue it. Here's what you'll remember consistency compounds. Little by little a little becomes a lot doesn't seem like big shift. But after a couple of days of few days, you start making this Brajesh will shift and all of a sudden, you're at a different destination some people call it a destiny higher, quick brains. So again practice this oral. Hygiene and also leads to mental hygiene also as well makes us subscribe on YouTube and your favorite podcast channel to get our next challenge. I'll see you soon. Want to double your brain speed and memory power if you'd like to learn rapidly and get ahead faster. I'd like to give you my brand new quick brain exceleron program. You will discover exactly what I teach my clients to learn read and remember anything in half the time. There is no charge is my gift to you for being one of our subscribers. That's K W. I k rain dot com or simply text the word podcasts. Two nine one six eight to two seventy two forty six and we'll send you a directly nine one six eighty to bring growing up struggling with learning challenges from childhood brain injury. It's been my life's mission helped you have your very best brains. You can win more every single day. Now, one more quick brain who were four ways to fast track your results in lock in which you just learned into your long term memory. Remember fast, F A S T the F stands for Facebook. You're not alone on this journey. I invite. It you to join our free private online group dairy to connect with me here, fellow rain lover's links to resources and even submit your questions for me to answer in future episodes, go to quick brain dot com. That's K W. I K brain dot com. The a stands for apply act on what you learn today. Remember knowledge is not power its potential power. It only becomes power when you use it so use what you just learn the S stands for subscribe. Don't miss the next episode and other free brain training. And finally, the t stands for teach you wanna learn faster now keys to lock it in right away by teaching it to someone else when you teach something you get to learn twice. Here's a simple way to do that leave a review on I tunes lever view, which biggest takeaway from this episode. You could also post and share this podcast on your social media. It helps us spread our mission of building better writer brains. And of course, tag us. Our teams. Properly. Thank you, hashtag quick brain. They w I k brain mine is at Jim quick K W. I k on Instagram Facebook and Twitter. So what does fast and for Facebook apply? Subscribe teach. I'll see you in our next episode of quick brain until then remember, you are faster and smarter than you think.

Jim quick Facebook Instagram Duke University Stanford University Dr BJ writer Twitter James ABC Dr Lawrence Katz Ninety ninety five percent one hundred percent
129: Top 3 Kwik Tips to Master Your Habits

Kwik Brain with Jim Kwik

18:38 min | 2 years ago

129: Top 3 Kwik Tips to Master Your Habits

"Welcome quick, brain, bite-size, brain hacks, for busy, people who wanna learn faster and achieve more. I'm your coach Jim quick, three. Listen, if we could access one hundred percent about brains capacity. I wasn't high wasn't wired just clear. I knew what I needed to do and how to do it. I know come through. Showman. How do you master your habits? We talk a lot about this idea that I you create your habits and then your habits, create you and that's the subject of the special episode. I believe that the treasure you seek in your life in your learning. It's hidden in your daily routine. But how do you create a brand new habit? How do you stop a habit that holds you back? And so for this episode we have three experts are share some of their best tools and techniques and tips on how to master your habits. Now, we know that it's not what you do once in a while. That changes your life or your learning. It's the things that you do consistently because little by little a little becomes a lot NATs. The power of. Habits. So our first guest is going to be Dr BJ fog. Now many of you know him he's an authority on habits. He runs the behavioral psychology labs at Stanford University. So without further ado, let's get started and change your habits change your life with Dr BJ fog. So I like to think of instead of raking habits. It's untangling, the habit. And usually, those habits aren't just a single thing. Let's say somebody says, oh, I want to break the habit of snacking. Okay. So it's really untangling. It's not just one behavior. It's maybe somebody's next morning a snack. They get up in the ninth. Those are all different behaviors. And I think a helpful way I've not studied the scientifically, I think it is a helpful way to think about it is here is thing. I call snacking but it's actually a tangle of hitter. And I need to untangle it, and this is the difference between breaks at the wrong expectation, and I think untangle sits much better. One is I started the most easily addressed not an I untangled that, okay. Like maybe breaking the snack. The specific snack in the morning, these wanted to stop and the new the next one next one and you don't work on the hardest one. I just like if you're untangling, big Roper extension cord, you don't try to go to the very middle you start with the outside and work in good news and bad news around that. The baton is, is that there are some behavior. Some habits that are truly hard to stop, and there's reasons for that the good news is there's a systematic way that you can design for to reduce or stop at behavior, and it comes back to fog behavior model where behavior happens when motivation ability and trigger come together at the same time. So with that, model you can systematic. Kley. Out, first of all, what is triggering the paper, what's reminding or prompting me to the pavement? And if you can remove the trigger, you've solved the problem if that doesn't work and sometimes you can't remove the trigger, you know, you're, you're being triggered by. Let's say somebody else who says, hey, you know, let's, let's go to the ice cream parlor, or just somehow you just in the morning is soon as you get up your phone. You look at your phone seeing the phone is the trigger launch Facebook. So you can't just throw your found night. So if you can't remove the trigger, then you look at the ability issues, so beam out based on ability, and you think how do we make this harder to do? So, for example, if you're on social media lot on, you don't want to do that, maybe you bury the apps somewhere on the phone, so it's actually harder to get to maybe you just remove the app entirely from your mobile phone. Right. So you make it harder to do or impossible in my own life. One of the things that I've worked on successful is how much popcorn and I know be looking to tell you that's not on a super healthy popular. But still, I was eating a lot of popcorn a lot. And so what did I do? Well, I threw away the popcorn Popper I took all the popcorn out of the house. I just made it hard to to cook any popcorn. And so by making harder to do or impossible, then, guess what? The paper so I can you stop the trigger. If not, if not can you make a heart is due to -bility ability, and if not can you somehow demotivate the behavior? So how does that work? Well, it's harder than the other two. That's why I say it's systematic. So you leave that for the end. And then that case, then you're in the world of how do I de motivate myself to eat popcorn? For example. I mean and for most of the behaviors that people are thinking of there's something very compelling about the pave, there's a gratification for eating popcorn or other behaviors that are already there. I don't know of a fast and awesome technique for demotivating something is wired into you from childhood, and so. And so that's why I'm a huge fan of making harder to do that. Xenia to remove the trailer. Right. So you work there. Now, if you get to that point, and you can't find a way to de motivate yourself with that then. The other way to look at it as what other behavior can I do that? Also scratches the itch swopping strategy rather than ice cream we started eating yogurt, plain yogurt and I actually, like playing yogurt but we would put apples in it and some cinnamon so instead of the ice cream behavior so notice now we're not working on triggers ability or motivation. Now we're swapping what's a different behavior. That's a reasonable alternative the ice cream so plain yogurt with apple and sincere cinnamon in scratches, the serves the purpose satisfies and you move on. So you then look for a behavior, that's a reasonable alternative. Now, one of the most important aspects of plying habits and routines towards your physical and mental health. You're vibrancy, and we have a very special guest Tara Mackie Tara Mackie is. The selling author of cured by nature where she was able to reduce eliminate fourteen different health concerns that she had by changing her habits, her newest book is actually called wild habits. So here's Tara machi-. Let's talk about wild habits and this method which created the resilience for you, because I believe that there are struggles you gain a lot of strength where would people start as they're going through their journey, and they have their difficult times, which is different for all of us. So that is why the wild method exists, and why I really came up with the method and hub used it with so many friends and clients, everyone that I've used it with its worked for, regardless of what the situation is. And the method is in the word wild. It's while this acronym and it stands for the w stands for willingness. So the way that I got three things was I needed to have the willingness to, you know, the first step in as accept the things you cannot change I needed to have the willingness to accept the fact that something needed to change. But that's not the only step just seeing what needs to change is going to change it. You also the ice dance for intuition you need to have the tuition to know what that next step is so that you can then take it and see where it leads. You, you know. Oh, maybe it's not the right step. But if you don't take it, you're never going to see that, and then you need to have the love the L stands for love to actually do that step day, in and day out and see how it works for you to form a new habit. And then the DC discipline, you need to have the discipline to do that over and over and over. Again disciplined was a huge part of it. But so is into wish in so as love Surrey these kind of things that people think are Whoo. But if you don't use them in your day to day life as a business person or as a mother as a father as an employee, or whatever you're doing with your life, like nothing is going to change. And you've even think the bowl of one of the stories of, how you took somebody through this, this wild process. Absolutely. Yeah. So I love just actually this really, really simple example of one of my friends who changed her whole life by literally not getting coffee in the morning. She recognized that standing on line for coffee and getting that caffeine buzz was not only kind of a huge. Waster, but it was ruining her skin and her body wasn't reacting the same way it used to, to caffeine anymore. And she just wanted to change one little habit and see what happens. So she had the willingness to accept that she didn't want to stand in line for coffee and waste fifteen minutes of her life, every morning before work because she was taking on a lot of anxiety and other people's energy mentioned to have the intuition, another, like, okay, what's my next step? So she gave me a call, and I was like, well, why don't you replace it with Valerian tea or something that actually calms you in the morning? So she started placing with Laron when she needed to have the self love to do that every day, so she started meal prepping as well and doing these teas that would last about a week or week and a half. So she already had him prepped in the fridge. Mentioned the discipline to do it over and over again. I love this one, because literally based on that change her route changed, and then based on her route changing her entire life change. She ended up meeting her future husband on a train that she never would have taken had she been waiting in line for coffee in the more. Learning. And they're having a baby. So I think it's just it's incredible that like literally changing one little thing can change and improve the rest of your life. One of the most important ways of mastering your habit is really understanding the triggers, the triggers the prompts are the reminders when we talk about memory training that actually initiate, the, the behavior, and so I want to introduce you to, to our final guest expert here. His name is James clear, and James is the best selling author of a brand new book called atomic habits and we're going to talk about the impact of technology has honor habits. Here we go. Somebody who's listening right now. How much do people spend a day is virtual? It depends on what study you look at. But roughly speaking is between forty to fifty percent of your behaviors on any given day or habit. So tying your shoes brushing teeth unplugged. The toaster after each use, and it's just unconscious. Yeah. You're just on autopilot now. I actually think the true influence of habits or even greater than that. And the reason I say that is many times, an automatic routine, or not a matter cabinet will prompt the next chunk of time, like it'll kind of decide what you're doing. You know, so think about the habit of pulling your phone out of your pocket. You do that without even thinking about it. But then the next twenty minutes, you're answering Email or playing a video game or browsing social media and really that chunk of time how you spend those twenty minutes was kind of determined by the habit of pulling your phone out of your pocket. So in a way habits are kind of like an entrance ramp to highway, you know, it's like, as soon as you start moving in that direction, all of a sudden u-turn around fifteen minutes later, and you're speeding down that way. So I think. Technically it's forty to fifty percent, but probably the true influence could be on seventy eighty maybe ninety percent is influenced by your one of the videos that we did it has literally millions and millions of views was habit. People have a picking up their phone first thing in the morning is that something that you do? Oh, yes. I've started to implement all kinds of little strategies to avoid this, right. Because you wake up you turn your alarm off pretty much. Everybody's using their phones their alarm, then also need check Instagram. Like I haven't even gotten out of bed yet. Right. That'd be looking Instagram already. And so obviously, you could just by six dollar alarm clock on Amazon and use that instead charge your phone and other room. But sometimes even that doesn't work. So I've started implemented a couple of different phone strategies and this isn't related to sleeping, but I keep my phone another room until lunch each day. And so I get at least like three to four hours, where I can focused work in the morning, which helps a lot, the funny thing about that is if I have my phone next to me, if it's on the desk or something in my office. I'll check it every three minutes just because they're right, I'm like everybody else. But if it's not there, if I keep it in. Other room, I have a home office. So it's like forty five seconds away up the stairs, or whatever, I'll never go up and get it. And so my question is like did. I want it or not, like in a sense. I wanted enough to check it one hundred times throughout the morning, but I never wanted to bad enough to go. Forty five seconds the stairs to get it. And I think there are a lot of habits that are like that technology makes certain behaviors so friction list, so convenient that we find ourselves sliding into things without really wanting to. And that's why environment designed can be so useful, just a small shift like keeping your phone. Another room can help a bad habit, fade away, and you don't really need to do a lot of and those devices, they bring on experts like yourself. I really understand this, right. I mean there's a whole team that Google and Facebook and wherever you giving you to trying to shape you to use the device as much as possible. It's interesting with technology 'cause we talk with our audience, like when you pick up your phone for saying the morning, your training, your brain to number one be distracted for every like comment shared cat, video, or whatever, and it doesn't really set up a winning day at the other things. It's training to be reactive where you're just responding to tech. Messages, and voicemails and emails and everything in one. Bad message can put you in a kind of a bad mood for the rest of the day. But if technology like anything, it's a tool that you could use if it's using, you then who becomes a tool in that equation. Will there was a brilliant way to put technology to work for you? Right. Like you can do that with pretty much any habit. I mean take the habit of like getting better sleep each night. In a sense, we often think about technology as software or something like that. But the couch limb sitting on right now is a piece of technology that allows me to sit. Right. So there are a bunch of one time choices or pieces of technology, you can employees to help you get better sleep each night, like you could test different types of mattresses. And then, by the one that leaves the best night's sleep for you. You could purchase blackout curtains, so that your room starting off to sleep by asleep masks, that you can sleep on the road, or one of those chilly, pads or the temperature controlled pad, the put on your bed, so that you sleep with the optimal temperature heavy blankets, or sounds machine white noises, and one of my favorite examples, my friend near a all he wrote a book about habits. As well called hooked anyway, he bought out a timer of Amazon, and it's just a device -cause like ten dollars. You plug it into your outlet kind of like an adapter and then you plug the device into the timer, but you can set the timer to turn off at a particular time. So he plugged, his internet router into the outlet timer and then set it to kill the power at ten pm each night. So it was ten pm can't wash that flicks. Can browse the internet more. It's time to go to bed and imagine the cumulative impact of having the outlet timer and a slightly, better mattress and blackout curtains and maybe earplugs of it's noisy or like all of these little pieces of technology that suddenly are working for you. There tools that help you build a better sleep habit. And there you have it. Thank you so much for joining me. For more go to show notes, and then you're fine. Their links to our full episodes at Jim quick dot com forward slash notes. That's Jim quick kid k dot com. Forward slash notes. And here's your quick challenge. Take a screen shot of this episode and tag. Your. Favorite experts in it and share your big aha. Mine is at Jim quick. And as always, I'm going to repose some of our favorites. So I look forward to seeing you in our next episode until then keep learning. Want to double your brain speed and memory power. If you'd like to learn rapidly and get ahead faster. I'd like to give you my brand new quick rain exceleron program. You will discover exactly what I teach. My clients to learn read, and remember anything in half the time there is. No charge is my gift to you for being one of our subscribers. That's K W. I k brains dot com or simply text the word podcast. Two nine one six eight to two. Seventy two forty six and we'll send you a direct link nine one six eighty to bring brewing up struggling with learning challenges, from childhood brain injury. It's been my life's mission. Help you have your very best brain so you can win more every single day. 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Jim quick Facebook Dr BJ Instagram Stanford University Amazon caffeine Surrey Tara Mackie Tara machi James clear apple Laron Google Twitter fifteen minutes
How to hack your way out of aging

Should This Exist?

37:53 min | 2 years ago

How to hack your way out of aging

"Hi listeners. I wanna shout out to our sister podcast masters of scale it's about to host its first live event in Boston. So if you're in Boston on July twenty third wanna hear from Reid Hoffman co founder of linked in about how to scale a business at rocket ship speed. This event is for you. Learn more at masters of scale dot com slash live, and now onto the show. I often asked people how long would you like to live? I don't really want to live that long to say like Kimmy like eighty six. Can I ask them? How would you change your life? If you knew you're gonna live healthy to two hundred. Do you take a gap decade? Instead of gap year. I think it'd be great to watch my kids and their kids and their kids grow old and do things. Right now. There's a ten year gap between house PanAm I spent where people are unwell and being just narrow that. Ninety three years old. I just take my two. Little pills in the morning, I take an Espin and I take a cholesterol, Bill. That's it. A lot of the products are in the form of a pill. I would absolutely take it. If I have my life span, I can carve out more time for art. I wouldn't take the pill. I think it's not the responsible thing to do right now. What's going to happen to me? Psychologically. We're just not prepared for that. Radical addition to life span. Clearly this double edged sword. Whether it's now down living longer or, you know, Vinci and Mozart. On this episode, we'll explore humanity's never ending quest for immortality. And what it might mean if we actually got our wish would be live as long as Methuselah, or would we ultimately reject it, and accept our limitations more on this after the break. And now a word from our sponsor Accenture. Think about your fitness tracker. Think about the trash in your shoes. These things are out there, and people are using them in order to track their own fitness and track their own health. That's Michael built, Accenture and most of the time he thinks about cutting edge technologies. But every once in a while mature technology catches his eye not for it's expected uses. But for a surprising use that offers a glimpse of the future. Take fitness tracking devices. You may think the number of steps you take each day would interest only you think again there's a North American life insurance company. That's taking it one step farther and saying, how do I individualize, and create variable life insurance policies now that I potentially have the ability to have access to more information? And so what they're doing a combination of encouraging people to exercise more, which is going to be good for them while at the same time, they're creating these personalized experiences so that they're actually starting. To create a relationship with a consumer that normally would never think twice after they paid the Bill of something like a life insurance company, this new relationship in which a customer probably shares fitness data with an insurer may sound oddly intimate, but Michael argues that this level of intimacy may become the standard faster than you think. So just how cozy will a customer and company. Get Michael will explain later in the show or you can cozy up to a few of these ideas yourself by visiting Accenture dot com slash should this exist. It's the question of our times. How is technology impacting our humidity? Welcome to should this exist from wait. What in courts in this show, we invite an entrepreneur scientist with a radical new invention to set aside their business plan and explore the human side of their work? What is the technology's greatest potential and what could possibly go wrong? We'll be laugh forecast, the future. And then we'll ask the question should this exists. Welcome to should this exist. I'm Catarina fake and co founded flicker and helped build companies like Oetzi Kickstarter and superhuman. I'm now an investor at yes, V C and your host. What am I golden life has been accepting my inevitable death forgiven such a short amount of time? And that's what makes it precious and special without death. You don't have life. It's like a front without a backer heads of tales are late without dark the struggle in this fear of death is a huge part of human existence. But the pursuit of long life is a desire, that has been with us since the beginning of time, the quest for immortality is big into so many mythologies the epoch of Google the fountain of youth. Darth Vader, being kept alive, only by virtue of his noisy, h fact suit, and in each era, humans have pursued immortality with whatever tools. They have available we votes and search for the fountain of youth. And now. We build quantum computers and use a. How would you like to live? How would you change your life? If you knew you're gonna live healthy to two hundred. That was Greg Bailey. He's a former emergency room doctor turned entrepreneur, who wants you to live longer and healthier, whether it's through an individualized regimen of pills. A weekly shot, a specialized diet or some combination of the above Greg's, his future, when you can jet ski at the age of one hundred and twenty change careers in your eighties, and even meet your great. Great, great grandkids. Greg is one of a number of people who believe we can and should think of aging as a disease. We develop drugs to fight cancer and diabetes. Greg's company, juvenile essence is one of several using AI to do the same for aging these drugs aimed to narrow the gap between the human lifespan the number of years, a person lives, and the human health span the number of years person is healthy. Wouldn't it be great to be healthy in two hours weeks minutes before you pass away? The key thing is we want to give you optionality. You know, I'm not saying you have to live two thousand but if you're healthy, and you wanna live through one hundred and be healthy, then that's a fantastic achievement. Now, you may be thinking this sounds a lot like the snake oil that's been sold for centuries, a tonic to help you live longer and feel better. But there science behind this scientists have extended the average life spans of worms and mice by administering certain drugs. So there is hope for humans. If scientists can prove that what works for animals can work for us. Greg a few other startups in the space are trying to figure this out right now. We can increase the lifespan of a worm by a factor of ten ten times, longer mice were only up to one hundred and fifty percent increase of fifty percent increase from where they stand today, fruit flies or about two hundred percent. If these drugs became as -ffective, cheap and readily available as Greg hopes could we see the end of age related diseases? We just signed a deal, try and prevent Alzheimer's and Parkinson's. So wouldn't that be incredible? If everybody at age fifty was able to access. That, that product because not only do we need to put it in the construct of that individual. But also the affected that individual has on their family on the economics of their community on the burden to hospitals, we could spend more time with our family and friends, we could revitalize and reinvent what our final years could look like and reconfigure the scope of our entire lives. But if everyone takes these drugs are ruled could become unrecognisable with a population that lives twice as long and consumes twice as much. There are certainly going to be a lot of ramifications that again, we need to be thoughtful about. We're trying to envision a world, ten years out where there aren't enough doctors where the cost of healthcare are crushing to countries and companies, and where pension funds are in dire. Straits. No one knows how this kind of longevity could affect us psychologically. Are we going to create bubble people who won't leave their house for fear? They're going to get hit by a car in the lose hundred and fifty years wife and this. I is us to grapple with the question how do we live and die with dignity? You need to know that there's a finite end, and I think you have to confront mortality does redefine aspects of your life. Greg's first encounter with mortality was life, changing I was six years old. And there was young grew lived two doors away. A Susan who is four years old. She unfortunately, contracted bacterial meningitis. She was allergic to all the antibiotics that would have saved her life. Could not fathom how when they took her to the hospital, they couldn't save. Must've asked my mother that question a dozen times. No, no. She should be alive. If you go to the hospital, the doctor should be able to save you. This early brush with death. What him to pursue a career as Dr Greg worked in emergency medicine for over a decade and then took his passion into the business world as an investor and entrepreneur. He helped start multiple biotech, companies and alternate launched juvenile scence in twenty seventeen with four other entrepreneurs, juvenile is a response to one of Greg's central beliefs that aging is a disease that requires treatment. Complex process from degeneration of beer joints to failing of your heart, so you have to use a multidisciplinary approach this belief also extends into his personal life. Greg is a bio hacker, a person who acts their bodies biology in order to be healthier, feel better, and live longer fitnesses, a big key, to me, both high intensity endurance, I take metformin appear on a form and you don't absorb be twelve p twelve and help the b twelve today. Calcium fish oil is very interesting because it's an anti inflammatory and hit inflammation plays a huge role in aging and vitamin d three. The other thing is diet. I think diet plays an enormous role as far as when you eat how you what you eat, try to eat the eight to ten hour window, I try to have ten to twelve servings of vegetables three to five servings of fruit and minimize my protein to fifteen to twenty percent. Anybody who's tried bowtie news that stopping the clock is easier said than done, and people will go to extreme lengths to lengthen their lives. My friend's dad used to travel the Switzerland to get sheep sperm injected, and he claimed that was why he was on his fourth wife in his eighties. We know two thousand plus genes that are involved in aging in humans when scientists genes are that can begin to modify them. And these drugs were going to come over the next five to ten years. There are numerous companies right now. Trying to figure this out many backed by Silicon Valley entrepreneurs like Jeff Bezos and Peter Thiel. There's also Google's extremely secretive anti-aging wing called calico, which has one point five billion dollars in funds. So how exactly can you medically treat aging longevity? Research is pursuing three simultaneous goals, too slow to halt, and to reverse aging, it's important to note that as of yet there is no definitive cure for aging. But here's what we do know about the process, and what Greg and others have unearthed so far. First aging starts on a cellular level in the mitochondria tomorrow to Condra is like the furnace, if you have a fireplace in your burning, the wood, and you don't clean the chimney, eventually it'll clog, and unfortunately, with age the chimney gets clogged and the mitochondria die when the mitochondria dies, you no longer have the system to provide energy to the cell. Him cell dies. Cell death is called senescence when your body feels to clear out, these, senescence or zombie cells. Scientists believe their accumulation plays a crucial role in aging. When we're young and cells, get to a point where they're no longer functioning, your immune system. Clears him up very quickly. As we get older. Our Munich decays, and we no longer can do that. These ambi- cells, don't just sit there in your body. They cause a dramatic amount of inflammation in the body, which leads to all sorts of dilitariness things. Arthritis queued macular degeneration, and we also plays a role in one of the forms of Alzheimer's disease. How do we destroy these cells before they caused this inflammatory damage studies on mice have shown that drugs called Senna lyrics, which eliminate senescence cells could slow or reverse, these effects and improve lifespan by up to thirty six percent juvenile has focused on developing targeted Senna lyric drugs to the use of AI is spectacular chemistry because it does pattern recognition? They can scan twenty four million chemical compounds, which it would take you and I years to do so he cuts years off of finding an optimal drug candidate. There are two other drugs that scientists believe have a positive effect on aging. These are rapamycin a compound found in soil and met forment a drug developed for type two diabetes. The more science, we're learning about at Forman is it probably plays an active. Slowing aging, but not reversing. We're all getting older. Some of us embrace it. Some of us resist it. And some of us want to disrupt it entirely, we'll hear from Dr a designer a journalist an old person in a death meditators who will explore these options with us after the break. And now a word from our sponsor Accenture. Get married everything changes. You have kids. Everything changes your mother gets sick. Everything changes, you get promoted everything changes you lose a job everything changes we're back with Michael built Accenture. And he was telling us how companies even life insurance companies are forging more intimate relationships with customers. These companies need to keep pace with the changes in people's lives, and it goes way beyond demographics. Michael says understanding you as a person is very different than understanding a demographic of women between the ages of thirty five and forty living in the Boston area. Imagine if a company actually talked to one of those women between the ages of thirty five and forty living in the Boston area. She's liable to say, oh, but here's all of the things that are ridiculously different about me, because people now share the things that are different about them online, in real time companies can target them really precisely. Which is why Michael says the whole business of tailoring product to a demographic bucket will quite simply kick the bucket. Now, what you're talking about is not creating models on populations in order to figure out what you produced. You're talking about creating thousands or eventually millions of models that says, I have a model for you, as an individual, of course, building, one successful model is hard enough a million, that's harder still, but the hardest challenge still lies ahead and you can sum it up in one word trust. Michael will share that thought later in the show. In the meantime, visit essential dot com slash should this exist. That's Accenture dot com slash should this exist. Most of the guests that we spoke to completely on board, the idea of living healthier. But they were alarmed by what it could mean for society if more people lived longer. We'll start with the number one thing that could be on your mind. This drug sounds great. But who is it really four? I spoke to Shana burger from Ideo, a global design for that, just let a project called redesigning death. She's also the co author of a beginner's guide to the end with Dr BJ Miller, we're just not prepared for that. Radical addition to lifespan, but we may end up with, like these very wealthy centenarians with stretched faces and perky breasts walking around the earth, and then everyone else. And that's the stratified vision that I think a lot of these innovators are not taking into account and Kevin Delaney. The editor in chief of quartz, it's really pretty problematic to have the wealthiest pulsa codes on earth steering us towards extended life spans, when, in fact, we haven't actually tackled these fundamental questions of distribution of resources in distribution of opportunities. And Tracy Dunkin a yoga teacher and death, or if people who have money get to liberally longtime and consume even more of the world's resources that leaves those of us who don't have that many resources with less, and less and less and less life in which to build those things for ourselves. I asked Greg, what he made of these fears. Respectfully disagree my patient population for product that modifies aging eight billion people, actually think the drugs are going to be very, very inexpensive and accessible to all with a caveat. I understand there's a lot of people can't afford a dollar a day. But if we can add two point two years of healthy life span across the globe. We would save seven trillion dollars because the last five years of life is destroy healthcare systems, and the financing associated with that individually, the impact of this medication could be profoundly good. But if everyone. We have to accommodate are growing older population, Kevin envisioned, how this kind of medication could transform the way American cities are structured. What you would need to comedy at this sort of population would be what you have in Hong Kong, which is effectively, a central government plan for where people live and the density of populations. And so that's like pretty at odds with how we think about real estate, and where we live in the United States, it's pretty at odds with individual freedoms, and my guess is that a lot of the people who, like that idea of living old longer won't actually, like the loss of control and the density populations required to actually make that feasible, if we took the whole population of the planet earth, all eight billion people. We built a city the density of New York, not Hong Kong density of New York. Do you want to guess at what size of landmass we would need to house, eight billion people, I don't know, Texas, Texas. Oh, yes. I actually I remember the study now everybody would have a half an acre. That would mean that you have ninety nine point eight percent of the planet earth for you to do other things the idea of a loss of control and accepting our limitations seems almost un-american. We're trying to give somebody had control over their health. I mean, what if I gave you where Ables that told me what is going on in your body, your biometrics, and I hooked it up to machine learning by your phone that told you what you should be doing for exercise, what you should be doing for diet. What supplements you should or shouldn't take time you should take your medication or not when you should have the largest meal of your day? That's an enormous equalizer because it now says, even if you don't have the academic background understand the subtleties of having a high sugar, this will help guide you and wanted to get the perspective of someone who lives in to Italy, someone who wants nothing to do with hacking your health and your. H. Hi, my name is Sylvia and ninety three is old and Sylvia's secret to living older and healthier. Now I just take my little pills in the morning, I take an aspirin and I take a cholesterol pill. And this is it for the day. I asked if she could imagine wanting to take this medication if it could prolong her life. I think that that's insane. I really do. I think it's just a terrible way to live. I don't have that kind of very long range plans. I take one day at a time and make my plan accordingly which she lived her life differently if she could live longer. I'm very happy. I really can't imagine myself living different life, you know, we have a little group that we play militiamen, and then we also have a group that play canasta I take a course in current events that the adult education program. I do my own cooking to my own shopping. I drive a car myself, and I find that I'm pretty busy, if I were to live, you know, that many years, I would really only be happy if I had my friends and my family around with me being lonely. I never really had that feeling but I could imagine that somebody by themselves would not be very happy. I wouldn't wanna be around if my family and my friends were around dreamt, Sylvia. Actually grabs the great concept. I mean, yes, if I was the only one living longer that would be horrible life. But what if you're friendly and friends are living longer, to what if they're healthy and everyone's in good shape. Does that change the paradigm you surrounded by the ones you love the key thing that she brings up the loneliness? And I'm saying if I'm right. And this is available to everybody that year. Family, your love when your friends are also going to be there with you. So it's not a case of isolation. It's actually the exact opposite. I think of the study where they asked people how much money they wanted to earn the answers were I wanna be earning. Twenty five K as long as everyone else is running twenty five K. I wanna be earning fifty K as long as everyone else's. I feel the same way about age, if we're all in it together. I think that's great. But I don't wanna be alone with ring away, without family or friends. This is actually a huge problem with aging rate now. One that I'm glad Slavia is not personally experiencing Shoshana, brought this up. We're already so stigmatized as aging people in our culture, you really start becoming invisible after seventy and it's the reason why so many older people end up feeling very alone and isolated because people just don't see them anymore. They don't see them as a valuable productive, part of society and to pile stigma upon stay. And now treat aging as disease just adds to that sense of bewilderment and solution. So what I would love to see is for us to start celebrating aging in a different way, instead of stigmatizing it and thinking about interventions we can create culturally, where young people benefit from the people who can can impart their knowledge, and who can feel like they're still a member of the world, and I would just add to that and say, Greg, this is an open invitation to you to invite BJ and I and a whole team of smart palliative care physicians and designers in to co create with you. Welcome the invitation, and we have a forum that we put on in London England. So he'd welcome Shoshana, and BJ, and other people into the equation, we need to have thoughtful people reflecting on it for the elderly and the isolation that she discusses. Ios totally knowledge of it's a horrible thing, certain societies are much worse than others. If you know about the blues hones, the places in the world where people disproportionately lift through one hundred they key thing that they see there is there love the respected, they have good families and friends. So the number one way to live through one hundred is to be optimistic and to have a great social structure around you. I live in a Victorian has since San Francisco and it was really built for three generations. And I think this has Israel rallies, designed that way for there to be a grandma parents and then children, all living together in the same house, and it doesn't surprise me to learn that those are the conditions under which people live along life. They are surrounded by people who love them and care for them. And if we can set up our society and our culture in such a way that, that continues, then life will be richer, and happier, even if it is longer, but I worry that living in hell. The're bodies for longer might affect the wisdom that we associate with age and create an artificial eternal youth that keeps us in a Peter Pan mindset. We don't only stigmatize people, we've valorize youth in a way that creates blind spots up next, Tracy Duncan yoga teacher and a death meditators will tell us some positive aspects of aging naturally after a funnel word from our sponsor Accenture. There is a huge swath of people who would never want to let somebody do that. And then there's another swath who look at it as a godsend, the thanks. Well that sounds amazing. We're back with Michael built censure in he's describing the polarized reaction customers tend to have when they're offered a highly personalized service, a grocery store, for instance can offer to deliver goods around your schedule. If you just hand over your schedule, but that's not all you could get them. Michael says, I'm gonna wanna be able to deliver, my groceries, when you're not there need to Katie your house still. Okay with that Michael can keep going if I want him to livered perishable foods than I need permission to be able to go. Rummaging around your fridge and make room at some point, a company will test the limits of your trust. And you may think L simply opt out, but Michael says, it's not a simple. Yes. No decision. In fact, most of us will constantly reevaluate our personal boundaries depending on whether the company winds are trust. You know, the I think it would be great to have somebody who could come in and put my milk away in the fridge and may never have to go to grocery store. But there's going to be an enormous swath of the population who's going to say, why on earth would I trust a company to come in, and do that as we go down these line, but we have more and more services that are more and more personalized, there is a trust that has to be built and so companies are realizing if people don't trust you. They're not going to allow you to do that next level service, if you'd like to forge a deeper relationship with your customers without compromising their trust. Visit essentially dot com slash should this exist. Trust me. It's worth your time to visit Accenture dot com slash should this exist. So I remember you were asking earlier. What is a death meditators? We are about to learn Tracy Duncan, does death meditation, which is a practice where you visualize your own death in specific detail baking go from literally doing visualizations about the decomposition of the body, right lake from the death of your body through decay, and falling into Asche, and how you get reintegrated into the earth. And then there are some kinds of death meditation that are more esoteric in terms of trying to imagine what the world would be like after your death, like what would be said about you? Traces daily death meditation practice takes a particular form when that's also available to you in your phone's app store. There's an app called the we croak app sends me tech six times a day that tells me I'm going to die. That is just sort of like this basic contemplation, like, just, remember you're going to die. Tracy was horrified by the prospect of anti-aging pills. I thing that really stood out to me that I could not stop thinking about was that we would go from being a healthy person to a dead person within a matter of days or week, we would erase this sort of extended period of aging. And I think that, that is absolutely terrifying. There is nothing appealing about the idea that I would one day be healthy and the next day be dead. I think that the assumption is that this process of aging and deterioration is somehow fundamentally bad and should be avoided. When, in fact, I think that this process this extensive time that. It takes for us to age in deteriorate serves a really important purpose. And I'm not sure what would happen to us as a people if we no longer had this long amount of time to grapple with the fact of our mortality, if you're healthy, and then you're dead, there's not a lot of time for you to figure out what's important in your life. It's a great point. You know, you're at a wonderful party. Do you want to leave when the parties at its peak, or do you want to believe when you see it's beginning to fall apart, make some people leave at the peak of the party figuring, it's gonna go downhill other people wait till the end and leave, when it's on its last breath conceptually, if she wished she could simply stop taking the medications or the supplements and begin to degrade biologically towards what she wanted to do. But it's choice. I think the key thing is giving. The individual the opportunity to make their own decision. Some people would absolutely want to go out healthy. She actually does want to go through this process, and to have to take the pills. I really by this idea from Tracy. There's something valid in the process of aging helping us face our own mortality, and that somehow this makes us more human and gives our life, meaning you have to decline. You have to die to live the strange irony in this conversation about choice in living, an aging, is that ultimately, none of us really have a choice. We all have to die in this is terrifying. But Dr BJ Miller, palliative care doctor, and she shawna's co author of the beginner's guide to the end. He believes that the entire way we think about death is wrong, one of the major conceptual things that mucks up dying. Well is we imply the death is a failure, and the idea of pathologising life is useful. To marshal resources and energies to push back on it. But when you pathologies death is you end up pathologising in the person who's dying not only are they in some amount of pain and sad to be dying. They also have to feel like they've failed, and that is to me potent negligence. So we've got to be really careful with how we conceptualize so we don't accident. We make people feel like they're pathological for doing something entirely natural, that shaming is a huge barrier to dying. Well, what hackers are doing is sort of new language given to an old art science, humans have been trying to prolong their life and get rid of suffering for a long time. Let's respect the tradition that Juvenal essence and others are trying to work with. And let's keep that in proportion to other ways. Humans develop spiritually emotionally psychologically on these planes, so bio hack templates ten. To leave those things out. And that's the problem, not the pursuit of a longer life. It's the casually ignoring the fallout. What are the world, the big world view that we're moving towards and pacing the technology with our moral social etcetera development? I was a physician and practice emergency medicine for ten years. And I always felt it was tragic for cancer patients when somebody would tell them you're able to control this with your mind and your positive attitude, can defeat the cancer. And then if it doesn't work you feel like this enormous failure, like what didn't I do? Right. I think the we do need to be very thoughtful about what death is and what it means in, in an ecosystem and also how we deal with it. Whether we stigmatize it so hundred percent agree with him that we have to be thoughtful about that. One of the things that came up, actually for me was that in some way, juvenile essence. If you are in a state of good health. It. D- pith allege is, is death in the sense that you can somehow choose when you wanna go. Yeah. To me that optionality to say okay, I'm perfectly healthy, but I'm done. I don't think that's a dystopia world to leave. Gracefully is really important. All speaking around the same concern. How do I live and die with dignity? I keep returning to a question Greg asked me it was if there is a drug that allowed you to live ten percent longer healthy, and it was a dollar a day. Would you buy it for you? And every member of your family, I think I would. But I see the potential for a divided society. One side with people like grandma Sylvia, are Tracy who are living in aging and dying as we always have they have wrinkles, they get sick, and they might not live that long. Maybe they're even in debt from their illnesses. Their lives are herder, but maybe in that difficulty there's wisdom. On the other side, we have Greg, and other bio hackers people water skiing in their nineties, free from suffering who know that eight one hundred twenty they're pulling the plug. They're out. And they're at peace with that. One group has no control. Another has death in the palm of their hand. How do you make that decision for yourself? And how do you make it for the world? Hey, should this exist listeners, here's an invitation? We want to know what you think about humanity's desire for immortality, or at least what do you make of entrepreneurs trying to help us live healthier for longer is the quest for immortality worthy goal or should we stop it. And just let nature take its course, send us voice memo with your thoughts. You may be featured on an upcoming episode. Email us at should this exist at wait. What dot com should this exist as a wait, what originally produced with forts? This episode was recorded at super pro studios in Finland and produced in the studio in S Y partners in New York are executive producers are June Cohen and Darin trip, producers are sir singer in Timothy Louis. Our supervising producer is Jason Giambi. Billy Williams helped with the writing. In fact, checking and Brian Pugh with mixing and mastering special. Thanks to our expert guests grandma, Sylvia. Jay Miller, Shoshana Berger, Tracy Dunkin and Kevin Delaney. And thank you to the team at courts hope Corrigan, outs, Osceola, Emily Chen, Collette, Kean, Katie Weaver, and Liz Rio Christian to stay in touch subscribe to the courts obsession newsletter at QC dot com slash obsession for additional reporting about juvenile. Essence.

Dr Greg Accenture Michael grandma Sylvia Boston Dr BJ Miller Tracy Google Kevin Delaney New York Shoshana Berger Kimmy Tracy Dunkin Vinci Catarina fake Greg Bailey bacterial meningitis Alzheimer
EVERYTHING you know about back pain... is WRONG

The Dr. Gundry Podcast

42:49 min | 1 year ago

EVERYTHING you know about back pain... is WRONG

"Welcome to the doctor Gandhari. Podcast the weekly podcast. Where Dr g gives you the tools you need to boost your house and leave your healthiest life so welcome to the Doctor Gunnery podcast. You know I'm willing to bet that just about everyone is woken up stiff sore achey from time to time in fact according to the National Institutes of health eighty percent of adults experience. Lower back pain at some point in their lifetimes. Eighty percent and a quarter of adults have experienced lower back pain in just the last three months. Well today's guests spent his entire career helping thousands of patients reclaim their wives from chronic back. Pain he's Dr. bj VAT on today's episode. He and I will discuss why everything you've been told about back. Pain is wrong. How he treats his patients and what you can do about back pain today without dangerous drugs Dr Bad. Welcome to the PODCAST. Thank YOU DR. Nice to nice to be here so your book back are ex was just reissue. This year was originally out in two thousand four. Is that right yes correct? That was my first attempt at writing a book. So what's what's changed since you. I wrote this book. This is totally revised and reedited. What's happened in fifteen years since that book? Well so I think in fifteen years there a lot of simple things that we know. Now you know call it. Combining ancient wisdom of the east with scientific discipline of the West and it has been my mission to have simple effective solutions for big issues. Like back pain. Not We note for example. Simple things like vitamin D for example. Take an adequate amounts keep your levels fifty plus if you have chronic back pain because as a big impact on not just reducing back theme potential depression that me sometimes percent with back pain so you know one of the things. I'm impressed about you is that you're you're willing to say that a lot has changed in the last fifteen years since. I wrote my first book and I've learned things in the last fifteen years and I'm not afraid to say you know here's the new things and I wanNA tell you what I've learned in fifteen years. Well first of all those fifteen years. I've probably been blessed again. Knowledge from at least ten thousand extra patients suffering with back being. So that's always you know patients teach as you know us every single day about little tidbits there. Hopefully that makes us better. Clinicians and better armed with knowledge also have learned a lot from my colleagues at Cornell Medical Center in different disciplines from cardiology to internal medicine And you know being here. There's customer Bartman of knowledge from people that come and speak to us from all over the world so sore net Cuba distillation effect of secrets. If you will that have been able to put together over the last fifteen years because I'm a cold. Front court seasoned clinician now whereas when I started out in two thousand four hours only practice a few years well one of the one of the Nice things and you know. I dedicated one of my books to my patients because if it really wasn't for my patients I wouldn't know most of what I know Among other things. They've taught me tips and they've asked me questions that quite frankly. I didn't have the answer to or I needed a better answer than what I had been taught so I congratulate you that you you learn from your patients. And that's you know I think despite our degrees we have to be open minded because patients can really I mean for example but two thousand nine right after the stock market crash. One of my patients was suffering with a lot of back pain. He had arthritis percent joins. And we tried everything you know and I said look you're really bad searchable of a candidate and then he comes to me three months later. You know you know about this. Twenty five dollars verger table and my pain is eighty percent better and hadn't even thought about version people till that point so is that experience may not work for everybody but it worked for him and the twenty dollar table saved him for expensive procedures and maybe lumbar funeral. Yeah I think I'd probably rather spend twenty five dollars on inversion table then lumbar fusion. And maybe we can get into that and just kind of continue that. No you and I were taught that this is the practice of medicine and I think the beauty of what you do and what. I hope I do is our patients. Allow us to practice medicine and okay. I want you to try this. And let's see what it works or a patient does you. Hey know spent twenty five bucks and guess what my back. Pain is eighty percents. Better so so good for you. I congratulate you on that. And that's why one of the reasons I wanted to have you on the podcast. So thank you you were one of the early voices about sounding the alarm about opiate opioid. Painkiller addiction back. Then what were you seeing in the early two thousands that you know that alarmed you and what's changed since that time boy lawns chain so you know right around two thousand with the National Institutes of Health and National Academy of Medicine in Los. Basically saying we're way under treating pain. That pain is a real symptom. So what happened. Doctors took the prescription. Pets are just started writing. Obvious left right and center and so we sort of are partially responsible for creating the OPIOID epidemic. But but that epidemic really start on the federal government level. You know it was message from there and then the federal government realized that there were too many to many complications and my we done a hundred eighty turnaround where there were. I think we are. There's a huge backlash against any opiate use whatsoever and their circumstances were swallowed on. Opiates are necessarily that bad for somebody who's had field fusion as Emmy's in severe pain but we've gone the other direction that any okay so bad so there's a huge shift from two thousand to two thousand nine hundred ninety with opiates so In your practice How do you make the decision of when you're gonNA use these or you're trying to get somebody off of these? I'm sure you're faced with this almost every day. You know my my I battle. Last twenty years has been trying to get patients off workers. I mean I really don't have this. Come in get a prescription. How Nice life I I go for what I call the protocol. You know if you have a chronic disc issue with back pain walk every single day. Thirty minutes take the Vitamin D. You know one thing you and I sort of share is food as medicine. The most most overlooked potent weapon. We have good. Food is good medicine and sometimes just say to somebody with chronic disconnect back. Then don't send to my sticker. Vitamin D good. Good Economics Vitamin D and good food and back in sometimes dramatic impact on lowering their back. Then were they don't need. Opiates LONG-TERM and you know we have other things that I use. Integrated things like highly absorbable curcumin as a positive impact on magic back. The and so my goal has been to get patients off odors winters again now for acute severe back pain. Five days are probably appropriate but long term. I think no harm is more than the good. So in a similar vein. I really want to dive deep into your thoughts of food and the Gut and the gut wall and back pain. I know a lot of particularly sports medicine and ORTHOPEDIC PHYSICIANS THAT. I deal with Give out end said Sir. Like Ibuprofen or Naproxen like candy for back injuries. Any thoughts on the danger of using the simple over the counter painkillers. Well so I talk a lot about that in back Rx. You know the book the Book and a new book. I've been on this if you want to call it a crusade of not prescribe overly prescribing anti-inflammatories because their forty thousand deaths a year just from go to your local. Cvs and buying advil and Aleve and taking it recklessly. So you don't buy philosophy has been if you WANNA take anti-inflammatories take them in sports And to my physician colleagues I say to them you know I do no harm. I mean. Try Not to cause a picture of building. Also that question to death or kidney damage or high blood pressure heart disease which are all dangers of anti-inflammatories US long term? So I think we as physicians have to really be cognizant of that and and stick to the first. Do No harm old that we took he. I I've looked at the pharmaceutical literature about the dangers of simple and sides and it's shocking that they knew how dangerous Ibuprofen Naproxen was damaging the gut wall even a few of them. And we were old enough to remember that. Actually I pro- Fin Motrin was a prescription drug and it was really the FDA. The original warnings where you should only take it for two weeks because it was so rangers and now we have children's advil and we again. It's the most widely available. You know painkiller in your drugstore and here yeah say that one more time forty thousand deaths a year people die every single year by taking advil. Aleve and those kind of over the counter drugs. Yeah so yeah you and I. You're right we're on a crusade to Really severely limit this and my experience in treating autoimmune disease and I've written about this. The number of people with autoimmune diseases that started with a sports injury or an injury that they were told to take you know. Ibuprofen NAPROXEN for a few weeks and it literally perforated. There got wall and release all of these problems. And you can. You could set the date and when this happened and it's it's scary and the scary thing is pharmaceutical companies research. This they knew it was going to happen and we physicians unfortunately weren't told about this but it's there so so okay so let's let's go back to the gut now and you talk about. Food is medicine as I do. So let's talk about pain and the Gut microbiome and Gut Wall. What's what's your thoughts about the relationship of pain. The microbiome got wall. Is there a relationship? Or there's a big relationship you know I've seen it multiple exams of pulse of patients Your again to be good. Food is good medicine necessarily Forties Madison. But good food. Good medicine and if you get the microbiome altered in a positive way then it can actually having impact on decreasing pain sensitization. So if you have good gut microbiome it will actually decrease your pain sensitivity if you ever bad gut my vile than it will increase your pain sensitivity so the same injury in your district state with good microbiome. If you've been level is three the same disc injury in somebody with a bad mike macrobiotic. You'll pain they will be sent so it definitely is a pretty significant role opinion and can be affected weapon and imagine chronic back pain. Yeah I think you know that many of our listeners. Hopefully not many of my listeners know of this influence but the casual person on the street is going to go. Oh come on now A bunch of bacteria in your gut are going to control the pain. You feel pleased. Dr Badejo get out of this pseudoscience world but there's literally plenty of research that proves this. Yeah I mean there's there's plenty of research and and the research is gonNA come on in a big big big way now that the medical community also woken up and realize that the trillions of bugs in your stomach can have a profound impact on your health. I mean finally the two when I'm in our colleagues and said hey we need to look at what we're putting in our mouth But look I've asked patients. I'll give you a prime example of guy. Had PERFIL neuropathy and significant ridiculous pain as well so so side Ika combined with Perfil neuropathy and he was in high doses of lyrica couldn't tolerate high-dose neurontin couldn't tolerate severe pain when he walked in was recommended a fusion for his back and not to mention the perfect neuropathy they were doing. This ideology confusions possibly Gamma Globulin infusions. And I sent him a nutritionist and she recommends she said. You are gluten allergic. So why don't you try and Luton Free Diet? Eighty percent of his ridicule symptoms and eighty percent of his first full neuro neuropathic symptoms when we like that in eight weeks and he was flabbergasted that simply using good food as good medicine as a tool can have that big of an impact on his quality. Life and by the way are numerous examples in my practice like that so I wish it was sort of science. I mean it is potent real science. Yeah and you know. Unfortunately you're right. I think we're the general. Medical community is beginning to wake up to this but yes just yesterday in my practice I saw a sixty three year old woman who literally arrived in a wheelchair brought in by her husband and she had a really profound muscle wasting in earthy Nar eminences and she had a jetta duped contract. You're and she literally wasn't able to walk and she had been diagnosed with Parkinson's and that this was a typical presentation for Parkinson's and I say you know I see a Lotta Parkinson's patients in my practice. And I can tell you that you know. Seen Our eminence muscle-wasting and Duke Jian's contractor is not a presentation of Parkinson's and she had no tremor which is possible And she really didn't have the flat affect Parkinson's and so did you even have just simplistically an MRI of your brain or your neck and spine. And she's so we'll know. They told me that she was an. Hmo Very Good Hmo and they said No. That's not indicated in the diagnosis of what you have. It's classic Parkinson's and she turns out her initial testing shows. She carries the gluten intolerance gene. She has auto immune markers of lupus and no one had bothered. Even consider that you know you have Parkinson's and try this drug and you're right it's like astounding in almost two thousand twenty. That the still goes on so I think the point I think I wanna make and you want to make is you gotta you gotTa find a healthcare provider. That's going to take your issues seriously whether it's your back whether it's neuropathy and John Keep looking for you know proper answers until you find someone who will who will listen to you. What what are your. What are your colleagues there in in orthopedics? Say the spine surgeons Tell you about what you're doing. Are they in favor of this? Well I mean this is a hospital. That's built up procedures and surgeries. You don't be Revenue Generating Hospital You know I'm a big believer that you gotta do. What's in the best interest of patients and with the Horse with Flat Sawn? So so when I initially invent and back are simple. Exercises for reducing backbeat. You don't clinical trial results from clinical trial results. You know we went through the whole ir be enrolling. The patient and the sauce is simple. Fifteen mind body exercises done minimum three times. A week had a profound impact on decreasing backpain. Ricardson back pain use of opiates and medical procedure. So the proof is in the data. You know what I mean. So they can throw at me as much as they want. Look in this doctor especially in a procedure driven please. They're not necessarily happy if you say to them that we have tools arsenals to keep you simple solutions to Kim proactive. That does not involve. Medical procedures are surgeries. They feel threatened by that Because medical economics is a sad part of medical practice. But I think if you're true the principal being physician where he put the patient's interest. I A lot of simple solutions for staying active and I think we have to arm patients with those tools to be able to take better care of themselves and rely less on the healthcare system. So that's yeah that's a great segue into back Rx. So what are the most common issues that you know you see in the patient who comes to you and what what causes them and we'll go from there? Well so you know sitting. Is the new tobacco right so excessive flying driving sitting at work than coming? Home Sitting on a sofa that sitting in number one reason for huge explosion in back pain and that what that does is it puts a lot of stress on the disk and it predisposes the wrist a predisposes the desk to get injured. Because it's not getting in nutrition during the twenty four cycle because so walking actors. Very good for the disk because it does this kind of thing and brings attrition to the inside of the disc so I see a lot of disc issues big time and especially nowadays younger and younger population You know in their early twenties because people are just sitting more and then at the other end of the spectrum. I see a lot of spinal stenosis the general term. But I just call it wear and tear in your back from just living life where the dissuade resolved joins me. Dark Day. You get back. Pr Side again. So those are the two most common categories of people that I see. So what sort of what? Kind of lifestyle changes can our listeners. Make to to reduce their risk of these chronic forms or acute forms back pain. Well I mean to me. The most potent weapon during the day is something you and I've been sitting for maybe thirty minutes you don't you just sorta get up and do like a single like stand with your arms bent backwards. Let the disc breathe a bit if you can do that every thirty minutes to an hour. You're on your way to really reducing your risk of hunting disc that I can't think of anything more simple than that. Get up every thirty minutes on our at work you know. I think that's a great recommendation and actually I haven't heard expressed that way and I love that you you're not stretching your back you're exercising your disk and you're you're kind of giving your disks massage. I liked that I liked that a lot and I think actually when you stand up in that physician you're bringing some nutrition into the disc fantastic okay so Computers aren't going away. Desk jobs aren't going to go away. You and I are seeded. Usually when we're seeing our patients other than just standing up every thirty minutes. What do you think about? You know everybody using standing desks. Well that's that's a big thing of mine in the last two or three years. There is a data mounts that those who stand more during their workday than sit they tend to have less chronic health issues. They enjoy better quality of life and potentially vendor longevity. So you know. I'm a big believer if you can get a standing workstation than go for it especially for twenty twenty five years older. You've got thirty forty years weren't like life if you get used to having a standing work desk. Great investment any tricks on a plane in an economy seat across country whether it's economy business or first class still. The pressure has cabinet. Is the big deal. Pressurized cabin with low oxygen content. Now that's changing as aviation changes with better economic better oxygenation and better Humidity so if you look at the new dream landers you know they have better organized makes better humidity better oxygen content You know not all of us have the luxury always flying a dreamliner right so So I think you gotTA figure out a way to try to recline the seat back a bit. That alone helps whenever you're allowed to do that. And then if possible every every hour and a half two hours just get up and just try to walk in the back and come back to do something as simple as that. It could really help. Save a lot of air travel related back issues. So if I'm on the windows see can I bring a prescription from Dr Bad says? Excuse me I have to get people sitting next to you. I have to get up and walk for the sake of Nar back story about this nation. You can stand up in place. I mean honestly you can do the single extent than I showed you wildly just sitting in your seniors. Get up and just do these. Single leg stands. That are that we shown in the book as well just ten count each leg and sit back down perfect and maybe Kerry note from using. I'm not crazy. This is what I'm supposed to do. They could carry the book insert to the to the to the staff. Look through the book. Yeah even better okay. Everybody so I'm holding up a copy of his book back Rx. So yeah you have to carry this on the plane and just holding it up and saying excuse me. I'm protecting my back on this long flight. Great I'm going to do that next time. Somebody gives me an ugly look. Okay I like that. What if somebody I mean? People are told well if you stand a long time you're GONNA get Barikot Spain and you're gonNA get swollen ankles and standing isn't such a good idea because you're not walking and there are certain people who obviously are not going to be able to stand for extended period times any tricks for the seeded individual their their desks that you can sort of go up and down you know so you could sit for twenty thirty minutes and you can stand for twenty thirty minutes. I mean I think for them this. They call variable deaths. That often doubt could be a great solution. Your thirty minute standing thirty minutes city perfect and I liked hearing the way these desk came about. They were actually to cardboard boxes on top of each other. And so if worse comes to worse get yourself to cardboard boxes. And you've you've got a standing desk. Don't want to take anything away from the designers. But they've actually. That's the doctor. Country under dollars standings. Yeah that's right the dollar standing desk. Okay okay so we're gonNA take a quick short break and we're gonNA come right back so stay tuned if you're listening to this podcast through your favorite podcast. App. I've got some great news. You can also watch. Every episode of this podcast. Plus hundreds more special videos on my youtube page just go to YouTube. Dot Com slash. Dr Gunnery and be sure to click the subscribe button. Okay Welcome back to the doctor. Gunnery PODCAST WE'VE GOT DR. VJ. Vad The author of back Rx. The new and expanded revised edition and welcome back Sir. We're talking about back pain and I WANNA go to a new subject. Tell me about the relationship of weight gain and back pain. Is there any? There's there's a huge huge relationship in away game and back pain so when it comes to putting a care and bulging disc or the disc out sooner and you get you're getting arthritis in your spine your forties and fifties because of increase. We'd has a lot to do with it so I think besides maintaining good core maintaining good body weight is crucial for trying to minimize back pain. So I you know I've heard I know any pregnant woman knows this. That particularly weight gain particularly in your Gut Really changes your your posture in in how your back the Lord Doses of the spine has changed Are you do you see that? As as a factor or is it more than that I think. That's a factor definitely but the sheer lowers that you're pressing on the disk are just you know? So you're seated if you're normal weight and your seat in slightly bent forward. Let's see. The dispensers are ex when if you twenty five pounds overweight and the seat him bent forward the pressures are almost doubled even just about twenty five pounds overweight. So you know but the the good part about that is. It's a four to one ratio. If you lose one pound you take. Them are four pounds per square inch pressure off the discount. The joints with a four hundred dollars. Return so not a bad deal. That's a very good deal. I used to long ago and I was doing some early TV shows. When I changed my career I lost seventy pounds and I would bring a fifty pound bag of dog food into the TV studio. And I would ask my host to take and hold the fifty pound bag of dog food in front of him or her and start walking around the studio and see how they did. And it's you know it creeps up on you slowly. You don't notice it but when you suddenly have fifty pounds or forty pounds or thirty pounds. It's it's dramatic what you can feel in your back exactly all of a sudden you realize. Oh my God I've been carrying those seventy extra control those years. Imagine the tension on the back. The hips the knees ankles and certainly my practice We've seen people who literally were scheduled for back works spinal fusion hip replacement and even knee replacement when we got weight off of them. They actually canceled their operations and it was. It was the weight that was you know exacerbating these conditions. Absolutely and certainly the wait is you. And I both know contributes particularly domino fat contributes to inflammation to the entire inflammatory condition. Absolutely you're increases. Chronic inflammation that is associated with increased back being arthritis heart disease can serve and on and on and on you know neuro degenerative issue so it tastes to keep the weight down and keep information down. Yeah and you know getting back to what we talked about earlier. I mean there is a very strong correlation to end said US and coronary artery disease and vascular disease. In general in fact many of us forget that several of the prescription and saids were removed from the market because of this association with increased heart attack and stroke. And so all of these actually share a common factor. And there's really none of these that are safe for long-term use that they're absolutely done. That's one of them. That's one of the reasons why I invented a medical food called Vanek Lars Cumin that we just finished clinical trials showing that it's pain. Reducing efficacy is similar to that of the proximate without having the side effects that as a matter of fact this particular cumin that MICR active formulation we have the serendipity was that reduce high sensitive Sierra free so the Carnival Cornell cardiologists are salivating over this Serendipitous discovery. That's great. Yeah I'm I'm a big fan of curcumin and people who are listening to us. That's the active ingredient if you will and to Merick but unfortunately you and I both know. That tumor is is very poorly absorbed. And that's why we have my team in Boston together. Technology to increase not just absorption but as we call it by activity at to get into the inflamed tissues. Yeah exactly okay. Shifting gears every good old doctor. Sarno was famous for his claim that all back pain back pain started in the mind What say you about that? Well so you know I used to invite drawn saw not coming do grand rounds at our hospital And he was a positive influence on my journey that I think his contribution was that the mind plays a big role in back. Then you know after nine eleven. I saw big number of people with herniated real herniated disk from the stress of nine eleven So there's a real relationship boot the mind body relationship. I think what he went. Limit overboard is at all back. Pain is tension myositis will back free in multiple diagnoses that can cause back pain and whereas ten percent back being could be the tension myositis that Dr Services where there is nothing structure wrong with you. The other ninety percent structural issues. Maybe that the mind stress contributed to either deploying out or the paint spiking up but there was a real underlying structural issues. So but I do believe overall contribution is is a good one Despite sort of over going on win back an MBA Biafra background. So are there any mental exercises? That people with back pain can benefit from well. Absolutely I mean I tell. Patients with chronic back pain. Do Five minutes of meditation at night before going to sleep or that's back. Rx Is truly a mind body exercise regimen. I mean the book title is actor Exercise Program. Will you do deep breathing combined with fifteen postures but to this date I get letters from two thousand fourteen to nineteen fifteen near from patients seeing just the breathing aspect of that exercise program had a profound impact on him so. I think control deep breathing. Meditation Mind Body Therapies. These these all have a huge positive impact on on back then remember often back being can present with depression so it can have positive impact on both. Yeah so okay. So we've got. We'VE GOT THE MIND. We've got path posture. We've got your great exercises. You're and you're in my food recommendations look very similar and I think a lot of us working in this area for so long. Have very similar views give our listeners? Your thoughts on what foods in particular are really going to benefit them with back. Pain for instance. Well so I mean the anti inflammatory foods really so you know instead of coral try to use olive oil you know minimize intake of processed sugar and. I have ice cream one day a week. He's not GonNa have any huge negative impact but in general minimize process. Sugar as much as you can But you know. I'm a big believer in plant based so I think that has an impact perplexities that doesn't mean eating popcorn and chips but it it means eating complex carbohydrates so the Mall Bogart. Kinshasa's those kinds of Complex Greens Obviously Greens fish to me. Get sort of a rare exception for me. That truly has very high anti inflammatory properties with Omega Three. You got to be careful about lead poisoning and things like that with fish. Also it's not a. It's not a game but So I think the general recommendations are less processed sugar less fatty meats walgreens. More complex are will had more complex. Greens more things like olive oils. More berries those kinds of things. Great getting back to supplements use started our conversation with mentioning how important vitamin D is and I. I second that I think it's number one. It's a hormone. It's not a vitamin and I think it's probably essential. I'm glad to see a lot of labs in this country that raising the normal vitamin D. level up to about one hundred and twenty and I and my practice try to get my patients somewhere between eight hundred. I'll take one hundred and twenty I've run my vitamin D level greater than one hundred twenty for the last seventeen years now to prove. I'm not dead and so far so good Any other supplements that just as a general rule besides vitamin D. Three that we should be thinking about. You know practice. What you preach for me. Think Daily Vitamin D. three acting curcumin. I mean for me. Krugman has benefits of potentially reducing risk for Alzheimer's Potentially Heart Disease Colon Cancer I mean outside of those two person than an believe in eighteen twenty supplements every single day. But I think balanced diet take things like the Cuban try to exercise every day to keep your back then and you know sort of pragmatic sensible things okay. Well it's a pleasure to talk to you and thanks so much for coming on the podcast. Where can listeners? Find out more about you and your work and where they pick up the new edition of back Rx back. Our new edition is available Amazon. Ben Barnes and noble all that kind of places and then in a more information about me is VJ DOT com or h s s dot Edu. That's hospital for special surgery in New York and Hopefully I'll continue my work for finding simple effective solutions for staying active and please never retire and please keep seeing patients. Because that's where people like you and me get all of our knowledge and I congratulate you again on that basis young and active and and I appreciate the tip about the vitamin D whereas it was fifty was my bar for chronic back pain being. Baxter considered to seventy or eighty. You don't learn something new every day. I've learned something. New and Vitamin D actually is very essential for activating stem cells. That line are got that reference in my latest book the Longevity Paradox. It's very shocking to me to see how important high vitamin D levels are for sealing the wall of our gut and making stem cells. Grow so love that I love. That hormone greet all right. Thanks again and we'll have you back again sometime soon for some more tips. Absolutely all right. Thank you very nice chatting with you. Okay it's time for one of my favorite parts of the podcast. The audience question and Ryan Smith three nine four on instagram ass. Dr Gede is coffee or tea. Disrupt the Tafa g taking place while in a fasted state. Absolutely not I for those of you who are wondering what the heck is a tough AJI. A tougher G. is actually the cellular process when a cell is nearing the end of its life span. We actually have two things that can take place. We can actually recycle the cellular components and build a new cell and that's called a tough Aji and quite frankly at Tofte G. is incredibly good for your longevity. The other is the sell literally. Exploding kind of like a death star is I tell my patients and that's called a pop doses in there won't be a test so it's okay so coffee and tea actually does not influence a toughie. In fact there is some evidence that compounds in coffee and tea as long as you drink them. Black may actually stimulate tough jeep. So yeah have your coffee and tea. When I'm fasting. During the day I start with two cups of coffee in the morning and then I have about five cups of green and poor T. during the day along with a mint tea mixed in with that so can see the effect on me which so far so good so but that's a great question so thanks very much and another question. I get all the time from my patience is. Can I still take my supplements if I'm fasting and absolutely there's GonNa be no effect on taking supplements while you're fasting? In fact I happen to think that there are certain supplements that will really benefit you during fasting but now is not the time to talk about that. Okay and here's our review for the week from Maria Medina. Who gave a review on Apple podcasts? I believe that we have the wisdom to cure all diseases and mother. Earth help is with that this podcast shows. We don't need medicine. In order to be healthy we need to be aware. Thank you Maria. That's a great comment. Thanks again all right. That's all for this week's episode of the Doctor Gunnery podcasts. We'll see in next week. Bye for now. Thanks for joining me on this episode of the Doctor Country. Podcast before you go. I just wanted to remind you that you can find the show on itunes. Google play stitcher or wherever you get your podcast and if you WANNA watch each episode of the Doctor Country Podcast. You can always find me on youtube at Youtube Dot com slash Dr Dre. Because I'm Dr Country and I'm always looking out for you.

Pain National Institutes of health YouTube Lotta Parkinson Gut Wall Dr g Emmy Doctor Gunnery autoimmune disease Cornell Medical Center kidney damage Dr. bj VAT neuropathy rangers advil stenosis US
BJ Fogg

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

1:45:28 hr | 1 year ago

BJ Fogg

"Welcome welcome welcome to armchair expert experts on expert. I'm Dan Sheppard joined by Miniature Madman. Hi You're wearing a Cape today address. Yeah it's Real Pretty. It looks kind of like Handmaid's tale that's right. I was GONNA say Amish but yeah same world. It's great looking today. We have of all what a great name he has. Bj fog better name. He's a doctor. I believe Dr. Bj BG. Foggy is a social science research associate at Stanford and author he is the founder and director of the Stanford Behavior Design Lab. He has a new book called tiny habits. The small changes that change everything now. This is a very useful pragmatic episodes. This it really can teach you how to trick yourself into doing things. You normally wouldn't want to do. Yeah how to achieve your goals. Little by little I've already started to implement some of the tactics attaching a behavior to some your to do yes really genius to be honest he was fascinating so bj. Fox going to blow. Your mind is going to help you. Achieve all the things you've ever dreamt up. Also we are live in Los Angeles on April Four. So if you WANNA come see armchair expert live. I implore you to go to our website armchair expert pod Dot Com and follow the link for tickets. Come see us in party hardy on April fourth Please enjoy BJ. Fog are supported by Hymns Hymns Izzo wellness. Brand for men. It's one stop shop for HAIR LOSS. Skin care in sexual wellness. And that's what we're talking about today sexual wellness. There's a communist human face but don't always WanNa talk about forty percent of men by age forty struggle from not being able to get an or maintain an erection. They should check out hymns and discover the tiny pill worthy of a big celebration now. Thanks to Science E. D. can be optional. Hymns connects you with real licensed doctors and FDA approved pharmaceutical products to treat ed well known generic equivalents to name brand prescriptions to help you combat E. D. so there's no more awkward visits to the doctor. No more lines at the pharmacy. No painful injections are other treatments is answer some questions about your medical history and chat with the doctor for confidential review if approved by DR products are shipped directly to your door. Try Him today by starting out with a free online visit. Go to four hymns dot com slash DAX five. That's F. O. R. H. I. M. S. Dot Com Slash. Docs five or hymns dot com slash x five prescription products are subject deductor approval in require an online consultation with the physician. Who will determine if a prescription is appropriate? See website for full details safety information because if you went in person to the doctor's office or pharmacy remember that's four hymns dot com slash. Dax Five. He's so I kind of Fantasize already have You know by all measures one of the greatest jobs. Someone can have which I say lines in front of this camera and then they pay me too much. It couldn't be better but and then this jobs even better in more preposterous that there's money associated with it. But I do fantasize about being a professor because it does seem like you can kind of craft your world that a Lotta other occupations. Don't allow you to do is that. This is my fantasy accurate. Maybe maybe I'm a really weird freed full-time okay. Well that's helpful so by design trying to craft my life. I have a foot in academics. Run A research lab Stanford and Teach frankly whatever I want whenever I want. I have tons of flexibility and then I have a foot and industry and that pays for everything we got to pay for everything. I like to think of it. It didn't inform my research questions and academics helps me understand what's going to really move the needle in the real world. And so let's bring that in and the things that need to be studied more rigorously academically I can do it within Stanford and I love teaching. Oh my gosh I am just crazy about teaching huge intro classes or you just do very specific ones small graduate student stuff or I want to get a big mix of students okay. A wide mix of students says typically classes twelve people among fifty students will apply Yup to fly out and then I pick and I would hate twelve that I think are the best fit for the class and I don't really distinguish. Are they graduate students or not? And I WANNA balance of that. But the undergraduates can just be rock stars in maybe more and more as a pattern. Is that a lot of people. Bail at some point during their Undergrad. Right. There's now a lot of famous cases of entrepreneurs you know. I think that's been sort of exaggerate okay. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah. There have been cases but the few that have been publicized. Look like bigger than it really is. One of my students called me. Today's ago he's doing a thing in South Africa in turning down there and he called me. And he basically said I wanted to bub-bubba Blah and it wasn't about coming back to Stanford and I just said look there's so much still waiting for Stanford comeback do the work done and then you have your whole life these other things. Yeah just helping them understand. Well what we learned from Sam Harris is that you can virtually just leave Stanford for ten years and then just return as if nothing ever happened they have a very liberal policy on Comey. Going one of the great things about Stanford is there really about to students and helping the students succeed. Students don't know how much power they have. Students want something it can happen. It's amazing we love college. Leave early obsessed with come up. Guest Lecture Go. Oh my God what a waste of. Everyone's time on her deathbed we go. We taught a class at Stanford. Yeah we both have the fantasy Monica of when we retire. Just taking classes recreationally and just never writing the papers. Just kind of you know learning. That's what I did an undergraduate so I was at Brigham. Young so I was raised in a Mormon family and Californian the Good Mormon boy thing I went to pregnant young. I was in no hurry to get through so I would just every semester to open the course catalog say oh. I like this. This is no. You don't have a career trajectory in mind. I felt really lucky. 'cause then. I took some time off and traveled literally around the world of the backpack. And I just come back into music class. I want to take this class and technically I was pre med English major technically but I made so little progress toward the major. I ended up at twice the number of units. You would need to graduate with no regrets but also no debt because the university was so expensive and I was also running my own little business in working so it worked now Stanford students can't do that. You know because the workload expense. Oh Yeah Yeah. Yeah what. What are we looking at now is it? Is it in the eighties? Probably something like. Oh my goodness here's the kits really awesome and a lot of people don't know this based on your parents income and I don't want to give the exact numbers here but I'll just make one up if your parents make less than sixty thousand dollars a year so you can fact technique but it's something like this then Stanford pays all your tuition and other cost so basically you can go to Stanford for free and then there's another your higher up at about one hundred hundred ten thousand and there's another tier so in other words for me is somebody who I just WanNa work with the most interesting young people shirk that just opens the door and a lot of people don't know this it's cheaper for some people to go to Stanford then like I started. Fresno City College it is cheaper to go to Stanford then Fresno City College. Yeah that's the they don't make that a part of the headline And it and it should be because I am hearing that increasingly we just did an event at Ucla and it kind of you know there's a Lotta that going on there as well and yeah I guess. It is a nice way to kind of redistribute the the Opportunity Well Stanford is ICS. It's all about. Let's create the leaders of the future. Who will solve the big hard problems and the assumption there is? The solutions are between the disciplines. And you've got all the different socioeconomic. Yeah Yeah So. Let's bring people together with all these perspectives and backgrounds to tackle the hardest problems. I like that I was looking at your background. And as you said you were Mormon you went to. Byu You got your Undergrad. There and your Masters Yeah Yup and you published in some kind of Mormon swaying outlets so when I go to Utah and then just even speaking from the data. My own anecdotal thing. Lowest rate of smoking in Utah right generally very low levels of obesity compared to the national average low levels of drinking compared to the national average there seems to be within the Mormon Foundation. A kind of group goal of betterment is that is that fair to say you're a riot on darts well before the university is starts when you're like this big tiny young. Yeah I've been friends with several Mormons over the years. There is this kind of valued sense of industry and just kind of this self improvement so the fact that you would have gone into behavioral science and specifically how to create habits that. Yeah but let me build on that a little bit as you're right on you're exactly right on. I think that's why that's built into me now. Fast forward to today. I'm a gay man. I've been partnered for twenty five years. I'm obviously not inactive practicing Mormon but growing up I grew up in a super faithful Mormon family in Fresno California the most glamorous a place in and there's a saying it's not in scripture. I don't think but there's a saying among mormonism. This doesn't get publicized. But here we go as man is. God once was as God is man may become So from the beginning you're instilled with the sense of you can progress and reach perfection. That's part of it which has a real downside like. Oh you've got to just keep pushing better and you've got to be perfect people pleasing perfectionist all these things and in some ways. Tiny habits is a reaction to that. Because you don't have to be perfect. Part of that is like no push that aside and do you think that notion that as man is God once was and as God is man can become my education on the incredible success of the Mormon faith was one that empowered people individually more than the other religions. Did that you were. Do I have this right. Your average prisoner can receive a message from God which kind of differs from some of the other religions in that they credit that for being one of the reasons that spread in the way that it did because it was an empowering relationship with God maybe yeah there is that sense I think but also you have the missionary effort and so boy doing the thing that my ancestors it done and all of my relatives. I want two year mission. I went to Peru to the poorest parts of Perot which even now I so value not actively practicing leaving Mormon but I so value that two year experience serving people in Peru who were totally different for me. Shar and just seeing the world from their perspective and it's not like two weeks. It's two years when I returned home. The culture shock was coming home not going to Peru. Uh-huh is the opulence. Just the indulgence. And I just could not believe carpet floor and the size of the homes and whatever so it really was a wonderful way to broaden my horizon. Well I'm going to add to that of my Mormon friends who went on mission. The conversion rate is horrendously low right. I mean you're knocking on doors and being rejected. Yes so I'll say on top of it that you probably pick up some grit in that two years. That's kind of a good character builder. Yeah Yeah it is. And it's no accident at a lot of Mormons or great salespeople and they also train you young to get up in front of people and speak and give these little talks okay and that benefits me now. Because I love speaking. I love teaching vied to give a keynote at a moment's notice like you have sixty minutes. Bj I would love it right right. Yeah I think it comes from that but also you know having passion sharing it and not getting setback if people say no yeah. Monica buckle up. Are you ready for this? Bog was a teacher. Aide or Assistant to Philip Zimbardo who created the famous Stanford prison experiment. Is that accurate? Yes what a juicy movie tutelage just remind people the Stanford prison experiment famously was. They made some students guards and some students inmates and then they just observe them for some intimidates wasn't true experiment. It was an experience. Yeah it was an expert. Yes yes if it came under all kinds of critique and whatnot and my favorite part of the whole thing that was pointed out that the orchestrators of the experiment was an experiment. He's not realizing or maybe he was really but he too is A. He is a guard in this experiment ultimately. Because he's in he's the God of this whole thing he's created so he goes probably making decisions he wouldn't normally Ma- and it's in the basement of the psychology department at Stanford and it starts going right quickly so absorbed in it took his wife to go really crossings failed. This is this is not going well and so they had to call it off. There is violence right. There is people got physical with each other but the people adopted these roles and they played these roles and it just grew and grew and grew and expanded in had this dynamic so quickly that nobody expected he owns like a a micro lord of the flies like micro version in is what were the big takeaways of that. Like was that. If you're labeled something you become that thing. Is that our tax surprising power right. We don't even recognize that that the context around us the roles were given the identity. The way we think about ourselves then leads to a whole bunch of pavers. Now there's upside to this tiny habits in some ways. That's what you do. You unlock your positive potential by shifting identity but in this case it was quite negative but that was the how dramatic it was big surprise. Yeah well I think all of our Egos would tell us no no. I'm me and I know who I am. And you can put me in any situation and I would. I would do as I normally would do. But in fact none of us pretty much would do what we would normally do. If the context radically changed or our role radically changed and you know when it comes to changing your behavior there's only three ways one having a pitney which you can't design relief for yourself and others to is tiny. It's tiny changes. We'll talk about that but three. There's the third way is to redesign your environment or your context and that reliably works now if you need a big fast change. That's what you gotta do. Not all of us can go. Oh I'M GONNA move I'm GonNa Change my friends. I'm going to be wearing a suit and a tie and a name badge. Yeah and you know. Be a preacher and Peru right. Yeah so I've watched over fifteen years. Tens of thousands of people attempt sobriety and then I've watched certain things results in certain outcomes. Geographical cures is what we call it. A lot of addicts will will try a geographical cure. So they just can't break addiction. They're not ready to admit that they are powerless over it. But they'll do some radical thing. I'm moving to Texas and I'm going to be a ranchers these grandiose schemes. That are gonNA shake them out of this pattern so at least in sobriety geographical cure rarely bears any fruit. When I was reading about your three ways in the environment changing being one of them I was thinking of this interesting thing. I read about the London to being shut down in that on all these people that would normally commute to work on. It were forced to either ride bikes or walk and when it resumed service. They lost a ton of passengers because all these people discovered. Oh I like walking to work or I like biking and then I stop at this thing so in that case it did radically shift people's behavior. Yeah to and from work. So key of redesigning your environment whether you actually move or just readjust and stay in. The same place is to do it in a way that it makes the new behaviors. You want to do really easy or it's the only way you can get it done. I can't ride the tube now. I HAVE TO BUY WALK. And then the unwanted behaviors make them harder or impossible so it's not just go to a new place. It's you've got to have that in mind new behaviors do I WANNA facilitate or make mandatory and the flip side of that right because if you're an addict and you go somewhere else are still substances in that place in the probably the same amount the end. There's there's some bags in every city. You Shine Them. They know where Shit is well. And you can do it even in the smallest of ways where you turn off notifications right more. You put water by you and impart tiny. Habits is an interplay with environment change because you can do a simple thing like turn off notifications which is tiny that then leads a big impact. Because then you're not getting interrupted or pouring water. Put it right in. Your work does so part of the fun of change and I know people aren't GonNa think change is fun but it can be. It's almost like this puzzle or this challenge. Like how do I redesign this to make it so easy to do the things that I want to do? Yeah help me. And so just in general I think most people can relate to wanting to change. As New Year's proves people make resolutions and quite often people pursue a goal and they fail at that goal and then it lowers their self esteem and everything else. It kind of results in not good. Maybe a worse place than you started in. There's so many errors in the way that we pursue goals. Then you've discovered in your lab you've studied how people change you study behavior. And then you study habits in so you have a very different approach than the conventional. I'M STOPPING ALL CALORIE. Intake that you know. I'M GONNA work out six days a week. All these things that I think we can all relate to. You have a much kinder softer approach. Which you have proven is more effective so in behavioral design which is what I described my work as behavior design behavior is defined as a certain type of person doing an action in a given context or environment. So it's not just action. It's the type of person in an environment doing a specific action like this morning for example. I didn't do my usual surfing workout that it'd be doing in Maui every morning and my way go surfing. That's my workout this morning. I did three sets pushups right and so after up. Because I know you're I know you're you're habits steps yes after I ki. Ay You have just so so yes so sometimes when I travel. I won't do any workout now. It's not that I failed in the habit but it's different habit. The habit I haven't Mao is different than habit. I have in California the workout habit and then when you travel it's entirely different because you're in a different context. Yeah and so that it's not just the action it's a certain kind of person in a context doing an action if you change any one of those things. It's a different behavior. Right in the ultimate goal is if I understood everything correctly is to have behavior that then becomes habit. Does that the jets Nirvana in tiny habits. Yeah that's what we're talking about that now. There are fifteen ways. Behaviors can change of those fifteen one of them is to create and sustain a habit. So I've mapped out here. Fifteen ways behavior can change. But if you want to boil it down to be quite simple and helpful. It's there's one time behavior something you do one and done okay. You have an example. The kidney replacement. That's that's that's one and it could be you. Sign up to work with a trainer okay. It could be by a steamer for vegetables one and done next habit. Forming habits and the third bucket is stopping habits So those are the most practical ones that people mostly care about. Yeah and you break them down into dot span and path right behavior grid no lines. Fifteen as behaviors can change. And it's a three by five matrix and it's kind of like the periodic table of elements but for behaviors map this out because it didn't exist some rising. We've worried about behavior for thousands of years and more rigorously one hundred thirty or so but there had been. No mapping of here are the different ways behaviors can change behavior types and. I tried to get a graduate student in Europe to do it. Mentoring role help them and they didn't do it so I did it myself. And so so now there is this. It's called the fog behavior grid. There's fifteen types. Each one has a name so like a new behavior. You do one time. It's called a green dot behavior. Green that it's new dot one time whereas habits are Blue Path. Blue familiar path. Means You keep doing it. So each of those fifteen types has a name. Now I used to chair this in keynotes and stuff and the audience would just start snoring. It's not a good model for designing behaviors. It's good for analyzing behaviors. But it's good. We have it working on the behavior. Grid. Were IN MY LAB. Two thousand nine. We started writing a guide for each one of the fifteen behaviors. And we've finished that in two thousand ten. Yeah we created this tool called behavior. Wizard that you can still find. Behavior was dot. Org and it's like tell us what you want to change. And here's the guide and it was at that time. Were my lab shifted dramatically away from the previous work looking at what we called. Persuasive Technology. it was that exact project or like we're not going back looking at technology. We're interested in human behaviors right and these fifteen types in helping people learn how to create any behavior you want but the starting point is understanding. What type because each of those fifteen cells? There's a different way to design for each one. Yeah now so quitting. Something's one thing right but just looking at a healthy behavioral in I think in your tedtalk you use this as an example which would just be like overall health right so instead of trying to pursue overall health which might include exercise or weight loss. Or I don't know blood pressure reduction all these things right. If you pursue that as a goal it's nearly impossible but if you create a swarm of little habits around this goal that they in turn will lead you to that goal so you can kind of almost just scrap that huge top of the mountain goal in focus more on the little tiny things that would ultimately lead up to that. Yeah right on and so the good news is the way you change your behavior. There's a reliable way to there's a process. There's this system tiny habits I outlined the system and this is not obvious it's something we had to discover intestines like boom now here. It is this way but you do start with I. What's my aspiration right? Some people call it a goal. I either call an aspiration outcome one. Is it that I want? Yeah next step is to do what you just said taxes then figure out. What all the different behaviors. That can take me to my aspiration Outcome we're my goal and you explore that in a method that I call magic wanting and it's a fun creative where you say okay if I want strong relationships with my siblings then you could come up with a whole bunch of different behaviors. That could help you. Now you're not committing to any of them at this point and then later in the process you pick which of those options that you actually WanNa do and there's a way to pick the best. I was just going to say so. This is really really key because this technique requires some honesty with yourself which I love. Which is you say. That people aren't going to do behaviors that either. A require an incredible amount of sustained motivation right so people feel very motivated on December. Thirty first they have a lot of gumption on that day but over time and workload and all the stuff. Your motivation is GonNa ebb and flow so Yup. Exactly so not ideal. You're aiming for the bleachers. If you'RE GONNA rely on motivation to create a behavior if you're within the military or some way you know if you go the cross box you're going to be super motivated for that. Our yeah but human motivation goes up and down. Yeah and the surprise to me is when you go and look at the academic work. Who's studied this? This was has not been studied for very long Even the acknowledgement. That motivation fluctuates over time. Just there's not a rich literature on that. In fact I hadn't been named the shifts one of my boot camps professional training I was doing. We named it. We called it. The motivation wave now. The fact that our motivation goes up and down. Does it mean where bad just that's human nature. That's how it works. Yeah that's as your motivation is going down for one thing. It's going up for a different thing and that's how it should be because if you're motivated do everything all the time. That's not very adaptive. So the way you circumvent on is you designed for yourself at the lowest point of motivation nuts and this is why went like so as I started teaching tiny habits in two thousand eleven after a year of hacking my own behavior. And it's like oh my gosh. This has changed my life because I was in a really tough spot. I mean I was so many things going wrong in my life and found this weighed. What Year were you tweeting your weight? Oh my gosh. I don't remember but by the way people hate it when you tweet your way. That was really early. Twitter days every day as a potential motivation. In fifteen seconds go. I'd completely forgotten. I learned quickly. They don't like that. Yeah but but every morning to get on a scale and he tweeted and I would assume you're you're operating theory at that point was Kinda shame myself housing way right. Yeah the or. I'll be accountable to this. Big Group of people didn't work. Let's see this is before I'd figured things out. This was know I was a behavioral scientist. I was believing all the old stuff. Worked okay this is before the break through and behavior design a tiny habits and Oh okay if I just do this if I track it if I put myself on the hook and public exposure I will the naturally be shamed into eating different War The positive spin is that you would have created an artificial motivation. Yeah and sometimes that works but some you know there. There's just it's so hard to create a way to sustain high levels of motivation so as a behavior scientists studying all this stuff and understanding how human nature works in humans are console on. And then the real breakthrough I think in my work did not happen in the research laboratory. It was me deciding to teach this quirky thing. I called tiny abbots. Anybody that wanted to sign up and I had no idea this would keep going for years and it would add up to be over forty thousand people what I learned about five thousand people in so I was a few months in two thousand eleven. A woman wrote me and she said I now see. I've endured a lifetime of self trash-talk. Thank you so much. Bj For helping me flip this and embrace the positive feelings and celebrate. We were talking about celebration. Wednesday of the five day program that I was teaching and that I mean I guess I was just so naive or so sheltered. I didn't realize that's where everyday people are at where they are defeated discourage they beat themselves up self trash talk and so on and it was that moment. I remember exactly where I was sitting when I read her email. I refer to her tiny Abbott to call her Rhonda. That's not her real name. It changed her name and I was just. This is a lot about you that you picked Rhonda derail you interesting. It's very I knew it came from somewhere and it was just like okay. So this is a quirky little side thing was done. I need to bring this out bigger. Russell I just kept doing and kept doing it. And for years so the fact that I then interacted with thousands of people thousands of people after that real people in their real life with real habits in real struggles taught me so much about what really works. And what doesn't work then. You combine that with the academic rigor and that is the thing that could just feel so. Well I WANNA say fortunate but also have a huge duty to share. Churn GonNA 'cause I've had the opportunity queue up I was able to learn these things. Learn this method. That's transformative and now I'm delighted to share it but I also feel share. This is what I love about it. And I'm here to help you as a non Stanford professor do that is. It's actually not abstract so it sounds a little abstract. I think on the surface like habits and behaviors in how they differ from resolutions. And all this stuff but what I'll say is there are actual steps there are actual concrete actions. You take that have a result. Stay tuned for MORE ARMCHAIR DARE. We are supported by squarespace. Now what are some things you could do with squarespace? Monica a website. That's right you could turn your cool idea into a new website. You could showcase your work. You could blog or publish content sell products and services of all kinds promote your physical or online business or announcing upcoming events or special project. A wedding a Bar Mitzvah now as many of you know. We designed our beautiful website on squarespace. It's highly functional. We sell products on it. We INFORM OUR LISTENERS. About all the updates. They need to know about we. 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You know I feel about German Swedish design. I'm all for it. I know you don't tell me I use Harry's to is it on my legs and it's a very clean shaven. It's a very very clean shave. I do it on my my neck and it's just smooth as a baby's but and I don't get any razor burn. They cut out the middleman and shipped directly to you. Saving you money and time. One hundred percent quality guaranteed. If you don't love your shave let them know when they'll give you a full refund. Harry's has an amazing offer for arm cherries new customers. Get five dollars off a trial set at Harrys dot com slash DAX? You'll get a five blade razor waited handle foaming Shave Gel with aloe in a travel cover. Join the millions of guys and Monica. Who are already saving money and go to Harrys dot com slash Dax to claim your offer. But the thing that I really really like. I'm GonNa Have you explained to Monica? Talk about your goal of or you would say aspiration of doing more pushups in what you decided to do to create that outcome. Oh wow eight years ago. I never thought it'd be talking about the numbly but so I'm now fifty six so I was probably getting toward fifty and I thought. Oh you know. Look at the research. I'M GONNA lose mass and bone density so I WANNA do strength training every day. Well what can I do well? I'll do push ups okay. I'll do push ups so in tiny habits what you do is you take whatever. Did you want strength training and you make it really really small so pushups but not twenty not ten by picked to super super tiny tiny then next Tuesday. Where does this fit naturally in my day? Where do I place this? What can it come after and I figured out after a few trying a number of things that's after and so then we're really quick. This is key. This is the breakthrough so he has. What's called what can trigger a behavior. So he has this statement. I love this statement and it's after I blank. I will blank. So you're building something you already do. As opposed to introducing an entirely new way of life. It's like well. We already know the things we're going to do throughout the day. I'm going to drink coffee. I'M GOING TO GO PEE in my case twenty five plus times a day. I'm going to go for me. I'm going to take a couple hundred milligrams of Nicotine. I'm GonNa Watch TV. I'm going to put the kids on what I know what things I'm predictably going to do on day. Okay so so so for me. I figured it out after P I will do to push ups can that was it. I got a little bogged down in the particulars of that. I'm like are you doing them in the bathroom? Yeah none of my business you have been so forthcoming on this podcast. I'm willing to go and work mostly from home. So half of my body is in the bathroom. Half of it's in the hall fan. My little dog is looking at me right here. When I'm traveling like an hotel put towels on the floor with him at Stanford. No I don't do it. I look in the mirror or maybe I do squats but so mostly you know the mechanics of a to home. I can do more than two if I want almost all the time I do more than two but the habits to and if I do too. That's a success and I move on but Dexter your earlier point. This is so important every routine you already have is like real estate where you can play something after it. So after you start the coffeemaker. What new habit would you pretend after you buckle your seatbelt? What new habit could go there after you walk in the door after? We're GONNA put your bag down. You can add a new habit there so sometimes you start with the tiny habit and look around. Where does it fit and other times? You could say what routines do I have. And what new thing can I place just after that so really good one for that is after I start? Shower habit could fit there because we all do that. And we have a few seconds to do something some people. It's longer than a few seconds. I have gratitude habit that I do about my body some weird aspect of my body. One of my md. France does pull ups pull a bar in his bathroom. He does pull up. Some people do squats. I do the question because I feel like a lot of people. Let's say they did yours king to push ups after pink and then like you said so when you're at Stanford you're like no. I'm not GonNa do that right. I feel like a lot of people will just get derailed and say like well. I didn't do it earlier today. When I peed at Stanford and it all goes to show how do you combat the I mean the showers? Good 'cause you're always a normally in one position but well there's a mindset that goes and it goes against the tradition so so much of what I'm sharing here is just not what people have heard before part of it is a mindset you know there's a mindset to change and part of it is hey when. I do what I intended awesome. Good for me way to go. Keep going and when you don't do what you intended you just let it go. There's nothing about guilt or shame or I messed up. You just let it go move on. He also has. He encourages people to celebrate right. I'M AWESOME YEAH. I'm awesome so if you do. Up and then you pop pop to push ups and then you go. I'm awesome or whatever Mawson fist pump. Little dance see anything that causes a positive emotion. And you do that to wire in the habit. So that's what creates. The habit is the emotion you feel so when your brain associates of positive emotion with this behavior. The behavior becomes more automatic. So it's not repetition. It's not number of repetitions. It's the association also interesting. I gotta say my knee jerk to all of this was like no way. I'm cold Turkey. I'm extreme. I'm so addict that you know I'm like no. We gotta go ballistic on everything but then it just it's ultimately most of those things are completely unsustainable in my experience like the nuclear option can be done for some months for me but it really can't be done in perpetuity you know and going tiny just in fact. I said in the book. Hey people lower the bar. Lower your expectations which is kind of opposite of what we're hearing but the key. I mean there's two keys one help yourself do what you already want to do. And the second is help yourself feel successful feel nominee and part of setting yourself up to feel. Successful is a lowering the bar lowering your expectations. And when you exceeded extra credit I'm rockstar student. But men it can pretty much always floss onto to push ups or pour a glass of water. Yeah I advise this. All the time people will go. I'M GONNA. I'm GonNa go to the gym for an hour every other day or whatever. I'm like what if you just committed to like ten minutes just to start there for something to build on. It's just such a big swing to like so you're going to do four hours of strength training a week and you're likely not achieve that and then you'll end up doing nothing so you know then black and white thinking you know that's not very helpful infection like perfect doing this and this is why. I don't advocate tracking you know tracking if it helps so back to the to call the maximums if it helps you feel successful do it. But if tracking is going to make you feel unsuccessful. It's not right for you or it's not right for you with that particular. Change Accountability. Does it help you feel successful or not setting a goal as a lot of people talk about? Does that help you feel successful so you can take everything? I think that you've heard about behavior. Behavior Change and those two things are your litmus test is helping you do what you want to do in helping you feel successful while Monica type. A overachiever. So what do you think what? Method lends itself to that personality. Type this one. Yes absolute stone. Yes so for sure where you're energized and you're you're used to focus in. I mean I think all of us in the Romar this right but when motivations high take that energy that you have and focus on redesigning your environment now do the one time behavior before the the motivation drops and invest in training yourself to do stuff getting the equipment you need and so on so then future. Good behaviors are super easy rosy of skilled up. You have the equipment and the know how and so on and that is the best investment of a motivation. Peak like when the motivation wave goes up. Don't go out and run for five hours. That doesn't then have I mean you're GonNa be sore the next day. Take that time and put in the work you need in order to create a sustainable system. Exactly I think I'll find the exact quote and sat on the fact check but Stephen King had some tip about this for reading because people like I don't have time which I died so guilty of and he has something about. Don't wait till you have a half hour to read if you have five minutes. Take that five minutes and reading. Two pages is better than waiting to read hours for you. Actually finish a book is two pages at a time over the bar so in my own life when summer when I wanted to do a Lotta reading. All I had to do was open the book I know and then I had a book market. And they're the smiley face. That was all happy. That was my yeah. Help me feel successful. And so open the book and I would usually read more than just a sentence or two but the habit was just. Open the book yeah. I one time had a goal or a rule which was just all you gotTa do is put on your workout gear perfect porn then you can lounge about if you want but most times once that gear was on. I'm like fucking along you know and then I'll get into it now. You don't state this or maybe you do and I just didn't do enough research but as I was thinking about all this. I couldn't help but imagine that the Nevada for all this would be someone just illustrated the greatest example of this. I wish I could credit them. But they were trying to explain like the subconscious versus the conscious in the example they gave was when operating a car on the highway at eighty miles an hour. It's actually very complicated task. It takes people to get good at that and often some accidents. But you are in that car and everything. That's happening the subconscious. Like you're just you're turning the wheel when you need to your accelerating you're breaking your signaling but you are your conscious brain is thinking about. God knows what like. Yeah you know in fact. I think it was saying that was pointing but your conscious brain is so busy thinking of other things that you're mostly completely unconscious of what you're doing to operate the vehicle and I would imagine that these habits the best version of them would be like you. Just do them and you're not even aware of them. The analogy. I've used to describe this because a lot of people said heavy to. What are the tiny habits? He used to lose weight or be more productive or whatever. And it's like they've become so seemless in my life that it's I could think Cardi pull them out but they don't feel like things I created. I used to be the president. Pottery Club at Stanford graduated and the knowledge. Is that soon your hand building with clay and you want to add to a pot. You take piece clan you added and you rub it in and eventually the seams go away and it's indistinguishable from the rest of the vase and that's how it feels when these habits are just so part of your life you kind of forget. You actually created as a habit. It's just what you do and so you can do many of these and it doesn't feel like Oh. I'm sustaining two hundred habits. They just become part of your life. You're just kind of fades away in the background. So yeah you changed your originally she. He was tweeting his way. Mon Not ideal he went from. I WANNA say like one. Eighty two to one ninety. Four courses of this is just the fact that people were upset like it's his twitter if he can. Catalog is what people need advocacy. I own my gosh. I'M GONNA go look that up. That's a bad idea. People do not do that but I knew if you could and again you as you said you'll probably they've been filed into the white noise of your brain but what are some of the things that you change your approach. You took a tiny habits approach. And now you've reached. Oh wait that you like doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it. It's one you like. So wh what was the swarm of bees that surrounded that a big part of it was dialing in what foods were healthy for me And I hesitate to say whether I take that as a prescription right different for different people but certainly Monaco does bus cookies cakes. On that the I'll give some that I think are applicable to everybody had the habit of filling up a water glass and putting it on my work desk not drinking the water just putting it. There and there are certain supplements that I think are good for me. I had a habit of putting them on a dish and putting it on my work desk when I travel. I have the habit of packing my travel food. Because they can't rely what's going to be in the plane or I got the hotel last night at two in the morning and so there certain foods. I rang. I'm bringing nuts and I bring boiled eggs in some vegetables ready to go and so on so it's just figuring out. I think the foods that work for you than making it really easy doing wiring those in his habits and so really quick. What is your habit or your routine to prepare. Your food is that happened on the same day every week. Does it happen in preparation for a trip while it depends on a day-to-day basis? My partner loves cooking and most of the Times. We'll get a partner who they will not let me in the kitchen very office fix lunch once in a while but he fixes breakfast. We've dialed in the breakfast. Exactly what it is and so. He fixes the breakfast and but the fridge is designed in a way once a week. We call it Super Fred where everything in there is on our game plan. There's nothing in the fridge. That's off limits at anytime anytime it can open the fridge. Eat whatever I want as much as I want such a good feeling right and then for lunch often I get to do my own line. Of course which will be fresh. Greens sardines inaugural spam Leichhardt. Interesting I kind of love him and then for example then bring something in like mustard or Celente pesto or something like that which I knows all my game plan and then there's some things I go back and forth on like cheese cheese wasn't than it is and it's not yeah I I know it's bad for me Just from my own body not everyone else's but for mine. Yeah I get tons of Flam all kinds of disturbing things from Derry and then I go off it for a long enough that I remember no. I don't think that did give me all that stuff and then go back for a long time. I liked to relearn lessons over and over again. That's kind of my hobby but I think one of the most helpful things people can do in this domain and if the aspiration is lose weight. Stop and pause and say. Is that really what you're going after? Well here's step is clarify. Is it really weight loss? Or is it more vigor energy or whatever and so the first step invading your design? Is it cl- get clear on your aspirations and that might mean revising it? Yes okay great. This is getting honest with yourself partners so you say that behavior needs to have impact. It needs to be a behavior you can do and it has to be a behavior you actually want to. Yeah so this is all crazy key. So the example. I think of all the time I get in debates with a couple of different friends of mine who have expressed goals of they want to family and I will say them quite often. Either you don't really want to family as I mean like have kids a partner. Okay right but all. The behavior is demonstrating the opposite pursuit. And I will say to them. You should feel no obligation to want family. It's fine if you don't want family. If you just in theory WanNa family we have to. I figure out like do you really because if you really want one. These behaviors are anesthetics wanted. That so you just got to be honest about one or the other my opinion. It's like a you're free to live our the fuck you want pursue whatever you want so great with it but if you're telling me you have this going. I'm your friend I ha. I feel obligated point out. These are the steps you take to get to that goal and this is just a circular debate happens quite often but I don't think people are dreadfully honest about what they actually want. They want some things in theory. Maybe in tiny habits breakdown as wants versus shuts guy should have a family because my parents want grandkids. And did it somehow just should the should are very hard to turn into habits and they don't reliably become habit though wants. It's what you focus on. That first day meant help yourself do what you already want to do. And if it's not that the don't do the shirts no what about. It's hard sometimes differentiate should and why you think you want that because you've been ingrained to feel like you should. It's on the same continuum is wanting need like we all say we need this and it's like no they want but what about the person that's driving by the way? If you heard this when I was twenty seven just leaving seven eleven to have my second set of hot dogs that I will get there almost every day hungover and then making plans to get fucked up soon. I would think would if you don't want anything that is on the healthy spectrum or the productive spectrum. Some people must be sitting with themselves going. There's nothing I want. That is healthy will but there's other domains so okay. Tidiness creativity relationships so there's other heirs in the the even if you're a party animal you want relationships you. WanNa cohort escalates. Take music so I'm a huge fan. So in tiny habits I only prescribe one habit and everything else is about a system to do any habits. You want okay. If I were pressed to prescribe other habits because like who am I to tell people what habit staff one. But if I were oppressed I would say cra. Habit of playing a musical instrument daily. There's so many reasons and what's worked really. Well for People Guitar. Just play three chords on the guitar. That's all so fine with that fits in your day. Play those three chords and if you WANNA do more do more and if you don't want to don't I'm set it. Aside celebrate my Moss and my habit and so why why is that the one that you think is is by the moniker. You so important right. I know three-quarters oh good for you. It could be piano. It could be Ukulele. Can Be Tar. It could be recorder which I love and everyone hates but I love. You'll be singles. No one's living with someone who is how do I talk about this? The vibration titi the expressing yourself the fantasy that may be performed for somebody. Someday I there's just lots of things I had a voice disability growing up you did and in the Audio version of my book I recorded a special preference where I talked about that disability because it was not guaranteed. I would narrate my own book. Okay had to audition for it. Sure but and I tried to negotiate like I am going to be the narrator went back and forth finding agents said. Pj they're not going to guarantee you because they're investing in the book can quickly ask it. What was it a physiological thing of a vocal chord issue or speech issue? I talked like this until I was eighteen. O Nuclear I hadn't known lower register. We call that in academia Minnie mouse. Itis yes and that's what I know that Monica does. It was painful so through high school. Having a voice like this I was made fun of bullied and so on and so as I was narrating the book and I just getting getting to the end of his last day. I thought I'm going to write a preface just for this just for this because it doesn't really print versions done out and so I told the story and I wrote it up if I can get through this I wrote it up and I went out to read it to my partner and I said okay. I'M GONNA be narrating this according this but let me read it to you to make sure it works. And as I started reading I broke down and started crying and I was like hold on. I gather myself in like three times. I couldn't get in. He was also crying and hit. Hadn't heard a lot of this. Yeah and how hard it was and I wanted to share this. Because here was the struggle. I had that I felt like I had no control. Over Z zero control. I couldn't fast for puberty and change my voice and all of that and then how I felt so ashamed and embarrassed and how that baggage carried with me even now. My voice is weird but then when it came to the opportunity to narrate my book then I wanted to even more. Yeah and then it was like no you can audition so says it in agreement. I can audition but there's no guarantee so taking all that baggage and all that this would be a major victory for me. I went into any habits mode and for a year. I would go to a room all by myself. Closes the door and record and narrate and narrates. I used all the stuff I knew about habits in practice over the years to get better and better and better I listen did today and then the day came for the addition fast forward I got it and I was able to create my own book which victory. It's obviously bigger than that. So you're I have to imagine your voice coupled with the fact that you're probably hiding the fact that you're gay at that age knowing and so you're trying to ride you're gay this masculinity this role. Yeah absolutely and then there's these moments so I tell a story in the preface but when I didn't tell so at the end of the year the Girls Club chooses you know the guy they like the best and they picked me so I go up to get this award in front of the entire high school in Fresno threats and the football players. Like I get I get nobody protects you know. Go get their ward you down and it's all combined you know it's sort of like okay. I'm trying to be involved in student government. I didn't run for student body president because I would have to speak every week so I can't do that. I run for vice so it was always. It was a real limitation. Yeah I wanted to share that in the preface helped people just like I've been in a spot where I felt helpless and I felt ashamed and I felt persecuted for something I had no control over right and so I get it but then also you can take these challenges and you can use. What's in this book to achieve something that you never thought would be possible. Yeah they can become your superpowers and quite often they do. And that's what I do. Now I teach and I love speaking still odd voice and it gets weak but I've embraced it as like that's the Kirke Breaks in weird ways. It sounds funny now but it's who I am. Its distinctive which is good and so now I own it rather than feel bad about it but it was a real process but what is so often that the benefit of sharing your quote shameful moments or things embarrassed about the benefit of it is. You've created this story in your head that this is the worst thing ever and then so shameful so embarrassing in so often in fact I've never seen it go the other way you share that with a group of people or a person in the result is always like. Oh Yeah I totally I get that too. That feels normal. This is the human condition like that is so empowering to bring it out into the light I think and I think my sense that morning when I woke up was I just wanted so right now. Yes my life is great. I dialed in so many things. Live halftime in Maui. And teach when I won- you know it's great but people might see that and think well you're just super lucky. I am lucky But I wanted to share that. Everybody has struggles and everybody has problems that nobody's perfect and I wanted people to understand that part of me. Yeah so they don't just see this perfect picture because often that's all people see they don't see all the failures all the mistakes all the twists and turns all the emotional baggage. The best part about you is that you tweeted your weight every morning and you gain the weight I mean. That's the one thing that people will go. Oh yeah that's probably exactly what would happen to me. It's like human part of your story that also showing that luck is tied to behavior that you don't just get lucky that you're doing things that put you in the position to have opportunity. Luck doesn't just fall on well and you can make these steps forward you can. You can design for this change not in guesswork way. There's a system and it's way easier than people think and it's not hard to get started is not hard to maintain. The hard thing is having that leap of I guess. I'll say faith that this is what gets you to. The big outcomes doesn't feel painful enough I think people have this paradigm in their head whereas like no no pain no gain and your I can do to push ups after I p. That's not even worth it to push. Yeah Yeah Yeah so your first point one thing that you really and you've already said it but I just want to really drill into it for folks is that specificity is everything here so about. I guess. Ten years ago I recognized. I have incredible road rage. Issue like out of the CAR AT STOP LIGHTS ONCE EVERY COUPLE OF MONTHS. You know just terrible. My wife hates it. Everyone feels dangerous. I'm not proud of it. I get an Adrenal dump. It's it's not healthy all these things so I WANNA say to New Year's Eve in a row I set as a goal no more road rage right and I did not succeed those two years and then so the third year I said just one rule you cannot get out of your car being scream you yell fuck you you can. You are no longer allowed to exit the and that was achievable right so I did a year of that and then the next year was no more hand signals to people so no more flipping people. I've known nothing that worked. And then the final thing was. I can't use my horn unless literally sums gonNA hit me once. I broke it up into all these components that made this one huge characteristic yes of of road rage within that road razors about nine things. I did that. I would say fell into the road rage then diagram in in one by one type parse them out. I was able to approach them. They weren't so big. It's to your point. Don't make your goals so enormous that they can't be achieved shares. What you did exactly right from the tiny habits behavior design perspective so in the book. I draw this cloud. Which is your aspiration. Put It in the cloud. You can't design for this abstract thing directly but then around the cloud. You put specific behaviors now. Normally you do this for creating habits right you can also do for untangling so inside is like stop or reduce road rage. That's an abstraction which you did exactly right as you broke it down into specific behaviors and you started untangling it behavior by behavior. Rather than just obsessing or trying to motivate yourself toward this abstract tangle. Yeah behavior so in tiny habits talk about untangling unwanted habits not breaking them you specified what those tangles for at least in your mind but there is a graphical way to do it in a step by step process and then you pick the one that was the easiest to do. Yeah Yeah Yeah easiest you got that one done and you went to the next one and the next one's exactly right now my practice on that and I don't know if this works for you or anybody else but when I get frustrated S. situation or somebody in line I use it and this technique is called a personal habit you take something negative to create a positive habit from like a pearl create something beauty from an irritation so in that case what I say in my mind I say everyone is doing the best they can. No one tries to screw up a hard a hard one so you take something negative. And there's a section in tiny habits and we're going to expand on this actually because people have really resonated with the idea of Pearl Habits. You take something negative that you cannot control. Maybe something you do or somebody else and then you use that to prompt you so that becomes the thing after somebody annoys me. I will say something positive negative thing that irritation becomes this beautiful thing along at least for me. It gives me empathy at least a moment of empathy and understanding it calms me down or at least stops. Yeah just press pause on the escalation of the anger. Whatever you're feeling now what happens and this happens with other habits that you deliberately form it will then start happening another aspects of your life even without. We're going back to the Ottoman history. Where just autopilot? So then when you're going something just Kinda to that. Feeling of empathy will crop up more. Just like if you have a tiny habit of meditating the meditation will pop up another parts of your life when you need it. This is part of the beauty. So tiny gets big. Because it multiplies if finds other places in your life where pops up even without you designing for it. Yeah but you gotTa Start Widen get that habit nailed and then it grows like a plant. That's propagating others so copyright DAX. I love after is blank. I blank stay tuned for more Armchair Berg. If you dare. We are supported by perfect snacks. Monica you and I are ticketed to these love. This is no bullshit. We love the perfect bar so much. It's fresh from the fridge. Protein snack that could not be more delicious perfect bars. The original refrigerator protein bar means. They're free from chemical preservatives and stored in the fridge for optimal taste and texture are made with freshly grown nut. Butter organic honey. Have up to seventeen grams of whole food. Protein twenty organic superfoods and have a cookie dough like texture that is unlike any protein bar. You've Everett. 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All the way square can take Your Business From Square. One to whatever's next at square dot com slash go slash. Dax loans subject to credit approval issued by Celtic Bank member. Fdic okay my immediate question is why have brains evolved this way you do? You have a revolutionary. Take on any of this will answer it this way. So one of the things in tiny habits that I think's very important and but I know I'm going to have a lot of controversy around as I say emotions great habits. It's not repetitions emotions. We have evolved to be that way and it makes total sense when you look at it from a more evolutionary perspective so where I live in California there's a bunch of wildfires. Let's imagine there's Bob Cat mom? That's now foraging for food. In the new landscape and she goes to a ravine in the hills of Sonoma's county and finds a a mouse Bam Something's going to happen in her brain to make that more automatic now. Does she have an emotional? I don't know but let's say she gets a dump right or reward. Something happens then. Rewires her brain to make that more likely in the future So it's that feeling of success than changes the Bobcat moms have it and it's the same thing that works for us and so when we do a behavior and feel successful and it can't be thirty days later your brain has to associate that behavior with that feeling of and that's what the celebration thing and tiny. Aphids is about somebody goofy. You're hacking your emotion in order to wire in the habit and I think that's why it's adaptive when you get good celebrating. You also get good welcoming positive emotions and give an example from this morning so this is you have to look forward to so this morning. I'm getting ready to come here and excited. And and how Frank Shall I be super? You've heard some of the subjects. I don't wear deodorant because I'm always swimming or I'm in the I'm in the water twice a day. I'm not a guy. That sweats whatever. So but I'm coming here. And this is a big time can punt on dod so I pulled idea it and it crumbles and falls on the counter. Now my reaction was. Oh just pick a little bit. Put Her on way to go beach. Yeah Yeah it could've been. Oh my gosh. I packed lousy low-quality so my reaction to that moment. Ten years ago before I started tiny habits would have been like one negatively but instead of the immediate reaction was good for me. I made it work. Let's move on and that's happened in other parts of my life where that habit or that reaction the positive reaction rather than the negative reaction and that is what the subtitle is about. The small changes that change everything. It's that it's not two hundred habits it's processing of the world. I don't think in general people give enough credit to this that your experience on planet earth is so often a perception issue right a lens. You're looking through. Yes and this goes to the one habit that I suggested. There's only one that I prescribe and it's the Maui have it. I give Ted talk. Why name it that? But it's basically after my feet touch the floor in the morning. You're getting out of bed. You say it's going to be a great day seven words and it's for that very reason that you're talking about tax then helps you process your morning differently. Which means you're reacting to setbacks are opportunities differently. Your trajectory is different and so on so I feel a hundred percent confident in suggesting that one to everybody while and I'll say what people also aren't always aware of is that we have an uncanny ability to confirm our own theories right. Yeah confirmation bias if you think the world is against you you off thousand percent seat ten times in the day that that is confirmed. It's just the nature of us. We want to confirm our belief. So if you can really convince yourself today is going to be a great day. Then you'll only see proof of that. It's just the way your brain and you'll even can be skeptical about that. I mean there are frankly born. I've done this for eight years now. Probably and their mornings that are like has got to be hard. I'm afraid to face this day or you're just not eager. I still say it but I say it. I say a thickly. It's going to be a great day somehow real about it. Yeah that works to do. We interviewed Jared Cohen. He- he- even further that with the help of Adam Grant. Which is he just has to win. The weak bright so four to seven days have to end in a positive start then better than they started. Love that and so again to your point it making it flexible enough that it actually is a system you create that Plays on your strengths in probably your weaknesses. You don't pursue that. That for him worked he figured out a way that it's a positive experience and that's right. Let's go back to the example of someone who doesn't want to change how the exercise or whatever and I said relationships tidiness creativity music. Find your strength and build on those absolutely so where you want to change what you want to change and often it's where you're strong The mistake because to go to your very weakest point. That's like the middle of the not. Yeah build on those and the good news here is habit. Formation is a skill. It's a set of skills And you can learn those skills on any type of habit so why not learn those habits that you want and are in your will. They'll start point. There's twenty six different skills of habit formation that I unpack and tiny habits and it just like if you were to learn to play a musical instrument don't start with heart songs right WanNa create habits. Don't start with the hardest habit and the pick songs that you like. Just pick habits that you like so if you take what you know about creating skills are building competency and then shifted over to habits at maps very very closely for example often. It's helpful to have coach learning to do Improv actor. Play musical instrument and same thing with habits. There's tiny habits coaches or have a guide like a book rather than than just guessing and so one of the nice wonderful parallels in many think it it comes later in the book and I don't think it's quite dawned on people that the habit formation is a skill and we could set up like a merit badge system whereas I care the twenty-six skills boom Bam Bam Bam you're GONNA learn all the skills and this way working on habits where you're strong then you take those skills and apply it where you're weaker or we have more emotional baggage. Yeah just like you would. Here's a really hard piece I have to play. Let me work up my skills on pieces. I love and now I'm GonNa play it to apply to this harder one. Y- you increase your ability and you increase your motivation Right and then from another perspective you might call it self efficacy of the way. I look at any behaviors motivation ability. Prompt and so as you increase your motivation and you increase your ability than the only thing you're lacking is the prompt Audi. Remind yourself so there's this really nice upward spiral that can happen. Let's start where you want to start. I mean we have different identities. We wear different hats at different times as an actor. You totally know that but yeah even as everyday people at a certain point. I'm a teacher certain point. I'm a research lab director another point. I'm a brother And so these identities and we shift among the identities now in tiny habits. What I saw early in my data is that these tiny changes people would make would have ripple effects and within five days well over eighty percent of people would do other habits and about twenty percent of people reporting. They made a big change in their life. And I was like what's going on here. I didn't understand that result and I just saw week after weakened my data and it's like really quickly by v the people are making this big leap and then I added. I started reading the emails carefully. Because that's how I coach People's personally through email and what I saw was a hint. It was identity so I started asking identity questions filling the blink. I know after doing tiny habitat now see. I'm the kind of person who I'm the kind of person who and they could say anything they wanted. Then so that isn't quantitative it's qualitative but seeing this thousands of those. What I saw was people say I now see. I'm the kind of person who can change. I Nelson. I'm the kind of person who can stick to something I now see. I'm the kind of person who can that. So the identities shifted for it was like I'm the kind of person who can't change the kind of person who drops the ball But by seeing evidence not by watching Video Raba. They saw evidence that they did start. Drinking water flushing onto doing pushups opening the book. They saw that they were changing. Which thin gave them a new identity or stronger? Identity can change. I would say a virtual everyone should have is the ability to change. I mean if ever that was a an essential quality to have A good time on planet earth. It's now so we're doing another ten episode podcast about relationships in dating me in this heard about that. Yeah it's exactly that because the end of each episode we get a challenge an assignment to complete before the next episode unlinking these habits basically these bad habits that haven't been working these patterns and now we're about halfway through and both of us are like. Wow it's working. It's the mentality is shifting of the ad the switch from. I'm the kind of person who I'm the kind of person who doesn't like people who are this. I'm kind of person. Who's a workaholic? The kind of person who chooses this. It's starting to change based on these little challenges these behaviors that have shipped. It's so fascinating. Okay so this is what I've heard from people for years and this is what kept propelling me to teach house. I didn't know where this was going. I just knew it was helping people. Of course I had to keep going. I mean even on vacations and family reunions. I'm coaching but there is this thing that happened. Yes so many people are skeptical about. How would you explain it well? I think it's weirdly today. I was getting in the car and I saw someone who was physically attractive to me who I normally that is. Shut off and I've sort of been in this pattern of. I'm the kind of person who's not attractive to the physical only essay every day and I saw this person and I was like. Oh He's attractive is him. He was but I saw and I was like. Oh and I mean this is so weird to say out loud but I also said I'm the kind of person people don't like just seeing me on face value and then today I was like I think people like me when you sound you can hear all around you know soon as you embrace that it was. It's the behavior that shifted the mentality. It wasn't just like US talking about it. Sees little challenges making yourself break these little habits and feel so surprising. Yeah Yeah you wrote the book persuasive technology using computers to change what we think in do and you're at Stanford where a lot of the people that have turned out to be designers of APPs that are hugely addictive. I would say what I'm wondering is do you see yourself moving away from that? It sounds like you do you even stated earlier. You're kind of maybe getting away from that and getting more just to the human. Yeah so yeah. I wrote the book. Persuasive Technology in two thousand two right. It was based on a series of experiments. I did as a doctoral student where I basically took child. Dini's influence principles To See if computers could use those as a laboratory experiments. And it's like Oh yeah they work. Flattery works from computers. Teammates works from computers and so on personalities and things like that so published that and in the book I give a warning like hey people. This is coming whether we like it or not. Oh Yeah here's the ethics of it. Here's what we need to do. And in my dissertation I give ten pages of. Here's how we can use this in a positive way. I draw cartoons story board of a woman named Sue. I was so delighted. My Committee which included Zimbardo Phil Zimbardo Terry Winner Grad Cliff Nass and Byron Reeves train team. They allowed me to draw cartoons in my dissertation. Because I wanted to show. Here's the future vision. And so now. Peleton plus a health system. That's basically what I here's a device it would encourage a UTAH. Virtual characters did to help this person be healthier so certainly persuasive technology publishing that. I was hoping at the time that people would read it. And policymakers would start making all the sea around it. Sure crickets right. I really cared about that book at that time. Yeah yeah well. It's interesting because we all won't say we. All many of us are using these. Apps there pleasurable while. We're using them so no one's really upset with technology wallets happening to them. Because it's been designed to be pleasurable you know and I was just wondering. Do you think that these technologies should have the same warning that cigarettes would have the medicine that you get? Which is like this is an addictive thing Joh- Absolutely say addicted to the mobile phone. I don't like that because it's not the Foun it's experiences we have through this device. Okay grow this is some of the pushback. I've had journalists and other people like no. Don't just call addiction the mobile phone. Let's get specific because if we can shine a spotlight in name accurately then we can take steps to deal with again. It's kind of in Lockstep. Tiny habits which is don't try to sum up this global thing get granular. Has We can grain by grain. Probably alter some things? Yeah and and certainly for certain people certain kinds of experiences on the phone whether it's gaming or some types of social networking is a problem in their lives and then in two thousand six where I did a formal testimony to sub committee of the FTC. Saying hey and I couldn't go to DC person so. I recorded this video. It's awful. My head is huge in my head is shaved off and and ironically. At that very moment I was recording the video teaching the class Stanford that had Mike Krieger. The later co-founder instagram and Tristan Harris. Who went on to do in time well spent hall awesome? Things recorded this video. Here policymakers here the three areas that we should be worried about and do things about and I got crickets laundry areas number one. I called persuasion profiling okay. Said companies are gathering are a right now and they're going to use it to exploit and this information will be bought and sold just like a credit report and I didn't realize this until two thousand sixteen just have to election. I watched the video again and I do say it's going to be used in elections boom Bam Bam Bam next. I talked about video games. That assumptions will be built into video games that will convey a worldview. That's not entirely accurate. Because you get involved in this world and the way. The cause and effect relationships work can be modeled in the video game and people that play. Well then take those cause and effect relationships into the real world so rise very very subtle way of not just persuasion rewiring your cause and effect relationships in your brain and then the third way I said videos are going to be manipulated. That won't be true but we're going to not be able to believe right now. We call those deep fakes but back. Then there was no name rise. So those are the three things I was highlighting and again. I thought policymakers call me or get in touch. Not Thing and kind of discouraging. My immediate theory on that is that it is the EGO. It's that none of us really think. We're that persuadable. We all think like we know true north and we stick to it and we don't like to acknowledge that we're highly persuadable. I think you're right. And the way we described it in my lab so we did a lot of work about the ethics of this and what the implications were and and the simple way. Why are we sitting ducks? Are we robust? Are we sitting ducks and completely vulnerable? And that would be a debate. I would have my students have and talk about it. And there's not a clear answer now there are other thinkers out there that will have a clear strong answer on that and the practical implication the way. I see it from my perspective. I've summarized it in just a few words which might be too simplistic. But it's people believe what they want to believe right right right right right. Can't if you just you might resist. Just recognize the reality of that. Everybody in your you believe what you want to believe. Your people on the other side of the political spectrum are believing what they want to believe. Yeah we all are but then that also if we look at behavior change it also means that information alone does not change our behavior okay. That's one of the reasons and that's one of the things that I highlight and call out an apartment. People blame themselves that they can't change what they need to understand is your data and Statistics and information but information alone does not change behavior in part because we believe what we want to believe the very best examples. I have several friends who read the phone. Transcripts with the Ukraine president were looking at the same information. I'm getting one thing. They're getting the polar opposite thing and they're not lying to me. I recognize. They are truthful people and hopefully they're they're looking at me going. I'm truthful to so while what what an impasse to have the same info and such dramatically different experiences with it. I I'm going to go on a limb here. Okay now more than ever. We need an intervention to help people feel positive and optimistic and deal with the fear and I don't WanNa say the word depression but the feeling bad and the Self trash-talk and whatever and my hypothesis. Our hope is that through tiny habits and people seeing. They can't change it will build hope. Yeah which will counteract the fear and I think with more hope this is where I'm going on a limb you are then open to more possibilities and looking at the world into Detroit I think fair shuts you down and you see it unlimited. I couldn't agree with you more. I think so. Many of the solutions that get thrown out there are so down river there so past us breeding that document having different conclusions. And they don't start with why any of us have an opinion to begin with like yes I think. Starting much further up river can have better results and so my aspiration. I mean the timing of the book yet. People asked me to bring it out years ago and the reasons I didn't end tier now now more than ever if this can help bring hope to people's lives and then help us open our minds to other perspectives. It's terrible divide that we're experiencing. I'm hoping it can have some role in helping. People have more empathy and perspective and understanding and dialogue with each other. Yeah well DR B J Fogg. What a blast so much for leaving your aid into come talk to US addict on the construction site. What a delight and think. Well thank you for unearthing out about my background reading my way. Stay Super Fund to talk about this in this format and thank you for giving me another guest permission to really share in a detailed vulnerable kind of way. Well look we. We said we want to go to college. One retire. So we've we've seen this whole fucking system. Professors are coming to us. We took tiny tiny little steps in tiny habits and now the professors are coming here. So thank you so much and look forward to all the work you do in the future thinks some and now my favorite part of the show. The fact check with my soul made me Monica Batman before we start. It's March two new month. It is and we've turned over a new page on the calendar of men and it is Wab mcilhenny and he's looking very very fit. What a specimen march is going to be a good month? How's your roofing is gone? So since we met last I saw neurologist. And he said that if you're an adult and you have more than one seizure. They consider it epilepsy. You didn't like to hear that. I didn't like to hear that which is ironic. Because I've spent so much time feeling like I have everything and then when he tells me there is something wrong. I really thought that you're like no. I don't have epilepsy and I don't think I have but doesn't matter if I have it or I don't have it. I have to be treated as if I do like. You've had two so the chances of having another are pretty high so You need to take this medication for two to five years minimally which we'll decide effects of this medicine other than your kind of groggy. Nece GROGGY NECE. Foggy NECE Pj foggy. I'm extra tired on it. Just general like out event of kind of hard to focus but it's getting better and he said there's an adjustment period so that's probably what's happening and it is slowly getting better so I am inclined to believe him that that's the case it's kind of a lot to process. I can feel some old anxiety symptoms old wings can feel some of that cropping up right. I haven't found though that you've been Like I've been around the whole time. And she got back a days now ten days something like that and you still very stimulating. Talk to in debate with. Yeah thank you. Kristen said at the hospital. Maybe your dad forgot to pay his dues on this Which is really funny anyway. The APP so that's the update for that aren't taking this medication now and living in her house or is it going leaving the house still. It's gray you don't have to lie. No I'm not lying to you. Hate that I lived there. I love that you there. We've been trying to get you to live there for the last three years I know. So what are you talking about seizure? We were sharing. What will you don't know is only found out you had a seizure? We were cheering going. We're finally going to get her daughter to move home now. It's good. I'm starting to feel like I'm wearing out my welcome. What on Earth could make you feel that way. I don't know I just do. You have such a busy brain. I'm as part of your superpower. Seizure was the other side of the sword. Though is that what on earth all the signals were sending his were so excited to happy. You're doing well. Then what do you? How do you think you're wearing on your well? Their pooping in the house. Which makes me so happy. It's not my I've been wanting you to do for a long long time. Because that's the ultimate sign of comfort and relaxation entrust in foundational friendship l. I agree but I'm afraid. Baby steps just like B J fogg. Tiny habit tiny habits. I do feel a little bit which I think will away and I don't actually know if it's because of anything. I don't know if it's because of the medication. Or what but I kind of feel like little just like about life. Yeah yeah which. The depression and anxiety is a symptom of this medication. So I have been sort of monitoring that a little bit but it's also so hard telling of course anxious. I just had a seizure. Yeah drew me to just listen and be compassionate. Because I can do that. Or there's a part of me that's like we should pick up your exercise to combat side effect. I need to. I'm also scared of exercise. Are A little dangerous now. But the intensity e well. It doesn't have to be an intense workout. You can run at like five and a half miles an hour you can just trot along for a few miles. I should. I just feel a little bit nervous about doing that. Missouri in yourself. Yeah that's fair but I do need to. I didn't need to have one thing. You're honest is a depressant than we needed work extra hard in the other direction. I really doubly hard to do right now. Giving your feeling of Blah lesson I WANNA do is workout when I feel Blah. Yeah that's when you got it right I know anyway. That's fine listen mouse's miniature okay so bj. I I was incorporating some tiny habits. Oh tell me one was after I turn on the shower. Ooh I'M GONNA do my stretch. I stretch stretch. I'm supposed to do actually have abundant supposed to do. One is one that you've shown me alison my friend. Who'S A P T? The one that took me seriously about the paying Yep. She gave me a whole bunch of stretches along time ago back stuff but one stretch. I do I'm supposed to do everyday. Is you go into a doorway and you put your hands on basically the sides of the door you open the door and put your hands on the side and then you just kind of lean through okay. So you're stretching your backpack Taurel muscles and your shutting out your shoulders. Yeah and some supposed to do that every day and I don't okay now but I'm trying to make that a habit so after I turn on the shower. That's a good idea. Those ones feel pretty good. Don't you think if I was your? Pet Okay your big BOOBS. So I would think that you need to do a lot of back. Strengthening exercise in general to pull those shows back as you have this enormous force point them forward. That's part of it. That is part of. Why have to do that when Allison told you do that stretch? Did she tell you why she wanted you to do that? Stretch did she mention your boobs. All it was my other. Pd FRIEND GINA. Who Actually told me. Actually do of all the professions in the world. I know the most. Pt's that's interest. I would say even more than act. Wow Wow that's a close call but I do. I know so many so interesting. None of them are. Md's which obviously I need. Well you're GONNA have a personal doctor. Topol. I keep forgetting to tell Eric. Hold my update. He needs to know and I keep forgetting okay. So I'm very very tight up in the shoulders and back and all that stuff but a lot of it is boobs. Yeah very heavy sherm. Thirty percent of your body weight is your boobs are probably thirty percent. That seems extreme. I think you're probably seventy pounds in your way thirty pounds. Oh boy that's why have so much lower back problem? Got About thirty pounds of dawn. Tugging on My Hip Flexes Very Common Problem Share. Share sure so I wanna do those stretches effort on the shower or you're going to do any. I need to stretch more. So maybe maybe I'll do that too. Yeah Wow they turn on the shower. The problem is I will be honest at your house. Thou water goes quick. You better believe it does not have time to do that. Stretch you gotta get in that shower immediately. There's no time there's no time for extra anything in there. You gotta just clean quickly. And I've never washed my hair would mean you've never watched your shower until recently. No I've never been there eight days. Wash your hair. I washed my house when I went home on the first day and then I washed it again when I went. I stopped by my house so I haven't washed my hair at your house because I don't think there's only mean time because it gets cold. What do you mean it gets cold? It gets cold. Yeah I only never get caught. It gets to tankless hot water heater. It's endlessly warm. It's endlessly warm in my shower. Oh my gosh what's going on. I don't know it's been getting cold but it's kind of perfect because I tend to linger in the shower phone. Yeah like to daily. And they're just think no. I just like to like feel the hot water me kind of a long long time and I like it to be pretty scalding. Ok So mother. She likes his scalding. I can't I can't do it. You can't no okay so I will say one day you guys are both gone and I did shower in your shower because I was wondering if it was going to stay hot longer. Yeah but you guys have your set you have like a knob that sets the temperature separate from the KNOB that turns it on a thermostatic valve. Yeah and I was kind of afraid to adjust that. Oh 'cause I figured you had it set to something you know she. She she cranks at nine. That's good to know because it was too cold for me. Okay and I thought maybe I would definitely blamed Kristen for that. It's your fault opposite. She loves it. Ha- I think it's bad for your skin. I love it. I think it makes your skin dry. It opens up your pores steam room. Well okay all right we gotta get those Pores Open. I suppose I'm really grateful. You guys letting me stay. We love having you. It's really nice of you to your house like that. I hope you'll stay safer Elilott. How much longer do you think I should stay for real like medically speaking? I guess I think he should just stay with us until you move into your new house personally all right but when are you out of the woods? What the neurologist say. He didn't say ask him well. He doesn't doesn't care I I mean I think I think obviously on this medicine. You're not going to have a seizure. That's what I think so. Probably you could stay at home at any time. But I don't want you to so don't don't do that. Okay let's say for another couple of months us. I'm not supposed to drive for a month. That would be the hardest thing for me issue or not to accept and I don't even like driving is harder because I bet you me. Driving Wall having seizure is still ten percents than your average driver. How dare tell people what happened? What happen or they scraped the front of my car coming to get you. Yeah I did I know. Oh so hard. It's so hard. Sorry episode the night before with the Lincoln last day of work on bless this mess. I was really excited or the Lincoln. I don't normally drive it all the way up there. I felt very cool all day long and love that car. People are complimenting. Me great-great-great driving home ninety nine left lane fucking break caliber rip-off shredded tire broke the ram. Oh my God. What a disaster to take a flatbed. I was like I was speeding home. Like I'm off work. I'm rap for the season. Let's Party when our you guys watch some fucking TV all caps and And then I'm sitting at a Mobil gas station waiting for a guy in a flatbed truck for about an hour. You know whatever I had money to get a flatbed truck. There's a lot to be grateful for but still inconvenient anyway then the next day I scraped the front of my station. Wagons very bombed. But you know I just I just I have to have higher standards. In what some material object ruin my sense of wellbeing. You didn't know you did a good job those times. It's more is actually not the car. It's the disappointment. That I- I misjudged the height of the infallibility. Yeah that's what it is. It's the identity you got to not make that your email only okay. Bj So first of all. He's so cute. He couple days later. He sent me a spreadsheet of facts. Oh my God. That's horrible. Clearly a researcher which I loved you was it about tuition so actually no but then he said what else can I help with them and I asked about that. And then he sent the link it said so below sixty five thousand Stanford pays for housing food and maybe more. Oh that's nice so that's great. And so yeah. They didn't he said there's like a tiered system so that's good. If you AIN'T GONNA STANFORD GO GO. I wonder what the hardest like you could probably figure out what would be the hardest bracket like if your parents made one twenty five. Maybe still oh fifty. You know it's gotTa get somehow that'd be a real rough spot probably. Yeah yeah that's true. So you go to Stanford is fact one to his visit you said. The lowest rate of smoking is Utah and levels of obesity. Utah is lowest percentage of smokers. Ten point six percent California is second lowest eleven point seven percent. I believe that human members. Anyone smoke here yeah. Montana is the least obese state in the US him. Nineteen point six percent of residents qualifying as obese. That was in two thousand and thirteen. I haven't found any other than what's just really sit on that for one second. The lowest rate of obesity in the country is twenty percent. No I'm sure medically they say it's like thirty percent body. Federman be city occurs when a person's body mass index is thirty or greater BMI when your BMI is higher than thirty previously Colorado. Okay that well so mountains. Yeah outdoor lifestyle whole. They're just burning off that reducing that b. m. i. so the Stanford Prison Experiment. How exciting that he worked with Super Cool Zimbardo but I just? We kind of brushed over at kind of quick so I wanted to give people a little rundown of what was going on. Stanford Prison Experiment S. P. E. was a social psychology experiment that attempted to investigate the psychological effects of perceived power focusing on the struggle between prisoners and prison officers it was conducted at Stanford on the days of August fourteenth through the Twentieth Nineteen seventy-one first of all six seven days. That's a long time by a research. Group led by psychology. Professor Philip Zimbardo using college students in the study volunteers were assigned to be either guards or prisoners by the flip of a coin in a mock prison with Zimbardo himself serving as the superintendent. Several prisoners left mid experiment and the whole experiment was abandoned. After six days early reports on experimental results claim that students quickly embraced their assigned roles with some guards enforcing authoritarian measures and ultimately subjecting some prisoners to psychological torture while many prisoners passively accepted psychological abuse and by the officers request actively harassed other prisoners. Who tried to stop it so interesting. The experiment has been described in many introductory social psychology textbooks although some of chosen to exclude it. Because it's methodology is sometimes questioned but I think we both did it saying I think there was some physical abuse I think there was like people paid their pants. They weren't allowed to use the bathroom. There's all kinds of things fabled psychological torture at the time sitting in your yon stained garment. Let's see the experiment Europe prisoner. I'm the guard asked me if you can go. Potty can go pipe please no yon yourself okay okay. They might not understand what that meant. If I was a guard you'd be trying to like make catchphrases and Melanie. Belie series up a whole experiment like that would just be making jokes. The whole time probably won't be in a good mood and nothing would be learned. I wonder I wonder if you'd get power hungry a psychological tour. I don't think you need to wonder that because I am in a position to exploit my power in some way and I don't think I do long to agree on that. Well I'm just thinking pause talked about it. Sometimes I do feel that you don't abuse your power sometimes think you don't recognize it and then in some ways it does get pushed but not because you're doing it on purpose but because you're not paying attention to the fact that you have some that's true. I admitted to that the other day I was arguing with the Director Vases. Arguing on the merit of arguments. I was failing to recognize that I did have the power in this situation as far as if someone was going to get fired. It wouldn't be me and that is power but yeah I wasn't thinking like having merit based argument right. Yeah maybe I do then I do. We all do probably okay. So the Stephen King quote that Anthony was telling me about reading reading is a creative center of a writer's life. I'd take a book with me everywhere. I go and find their all source. Opportunities to dip in the trick is to teach yourself to read and small sips as well as long swallows Childlike yeah along. Swallow GonNa say that when you bummed if you couldn't predict predicting well yeah I would. I like being able to predict. Yeah makes the world feel safer when they act on predictable or it gets scary. That's true so every time I'm predictable and repetitive and Cliche you should say thank you for making me feel safe. I will thank you anyway. He's so cute any who he is very cute. I really him. I loved everything had to say. Yeah me too. I felt empowering. Yeah I like it I believe it I believe in change. You're you're the best example of that. Well thank you. I'll try to stay predictable so you feel safe. Okay okay the same voices the same phrases. I'll do it all I love you.

Stanford the Times Monica Stanford Dax Harry graduate student partner Stanford Behavior Design Lab Dot Com Los Angeles founder and director Stanford FDA squarespace Dr. Bj BG South Africa Utah Peru Dan Sheppard
BJ Fogg

Experts on Expert with Dax Shepard

1:45:28 hr | 1 year ago

BJ Fogg

"Welcome welcome welcome to armchair expert experts on expert. I'm Dan Sheppard joined by Miniature Madman. You're wearing a Cape today address. Yeah it's Real Pretty. It looks kind of like Handmaid's tale that's right. I was GONNA say Amish but yeah same world. It's great looking today. We have of all what a great name he has. Bj Fog. He's a doctor. I believe Dr. Bj BG. Foggy is a social science research associate at Stanford and author he is the founder and director of the Stanford Behavior Design Lab. He has a new book called tiny habits. The small changes that change everything now. This is a very useful pragmatic episodes. This it really can teach you how to trick yourself into doing things. You normally wouldn't want to do. Yeah how to achieve your goals. Little by little I've already started to implement some of the tactics attaching a behavior to some your to do yes really genius to be honest he was fascinating so bj. Fox going to blow. Your mind is going to help you. Achieve all the things you've ever dreamt up. Also we are live in Los Angeles on April Four. So if you WANNA come see armchair expert live. I implore you to go to our website armchair expert pod Dot Com and follow the link for tickets. Come see us in party hardy on April fourth Please enjoy BJ. Fog are supported by Hymns Hymns Izzo wellness. Brand for men. It's one stop shop for HAIR LOSS. Skin care in sexual wellness. And that's what we're talking about today sexual wellness. There's a communist human face but don't always WanNa talk about forty percent of men by age forty struggle from not being able to get an or maintain an erection. They should check out hymns and discover the tiny pill worthy of a big celebration now. Thanks to Science E. D. can be optional. Hymns connects you with real licensed doctors and FDA approved pharmaceutical products to treat ed well known generic equivalents to name brand prescriptions to help you combat E. D. so there's no more awkward visits to the doctor. No more lines at the pharmacy. No painful injections are other treatments is answer some questions about your medical history and chat with the doctor for confidential review if approved by DR products are shipped directly to your door. Try Him today by starting out with a free online visit. Go to four hymns dot com slash DAX five. That's F. O. R. H. I. M. S. Dot Com Slash. Docs five or hymns dot com slash x five prescription products are subject deductor approval in require an online consultation with the physician. Who will determine if a prescription is appropriate? See website for full details safety information because if you went in person to the doctor's office or pharmacy remember that's four hymns dot com slash. Dax Five. He's so I kind of Fantasize already have You know by all measures one of the greatest jobs. Someone can have which I say lines in front of this camera and then they pay me too much. It couldn't be better but and then this jobs even better in more preposterous that there's money associated with it. But I do fantasize about being a professor because it does seem like you can kind of craft your world that a Lotta other occupations. Don't allow you to do is that. This is my fantasy accurate. Maybe maybe I'm a really weird freed full-time okay. Well that's helpful so by design trying to craft my life. I have a foot in academics. Run A research lab Stanford and Teach frankly whatever I want whenever I want. I have tons of flexibility and then I have a foot and industry and that pays for everything we got to pay for everything. I like to think of it. It didn't inform my research questions and academics helps me understand what's going to really move the needle in the real world. And so let's bring that in and the things that need to be studied more rigorously academically I can do it within Stanford and I love teaching. Oh my gosh I am just crazy about teaching huge intro classes or you just do very specific ones small graduate student stuff or I want to get a big mix of students okay or a wide mix of students says typically classes twelve people among fifty students will apply Yup to fly out and then I pick and I would hate twelve that I think are the best fit for the class and I don't really distinguish. Are they graduate students or not? And I WANNA balance of that. But the undergraduates can just be rock stars in maybe more and more as a pattern. Is that a lot of people. Bail at some point during their Undergrad. Right. There's now a lot of famous cases of entrepreneurs you know. I think that's been sort of exaggerate okay. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah. There have been cases but the few that have been publicized. Look like bigger than it really is. One of my students called me. Today's ago he's doing a thing in South Africa in turning down there and he called me and he basically said I wanted to hubbub of Blah. And it wasn't about coming back to Stanford and I just said look there's so much still waiting for Stanford comeback do the work it had done. And then you have your whole life thing. Yeah just helping them understand. Well what we learned from Sam Harris is that you can virtually just leave Stanford for ten years and then just return as if nothing ever happened they have a very liberal policy on Comey. Going one of the great things about Stanford. Is there really about two students? Helping the students succeed students. Don't know how much power they have. Students want something it can happen. It's amazing we love college. We really obsessed with come up guest lecture. Oh my God. What a waste of. Everyone's time on her deathbed we go. We taught a class at Stanford. Yeah we both have the fantasy Monica and I of when we retire. Just taking classes recreationally and just never writing the papers. Just kind of you know learning. That's what I did an undergraduate so I was at Brigham. Young so I was raised in a Mormon family and Californian the Good Mormon boy thing I went to pregnant young. I was in no hurry to get through so I would just every semester. I'd open the course catalog say oh. I like this. This is no. You don't have a career trajectory in mind. I felt really lucky. 'cause then. I took some time off and traveled literally around the world of the backpack. And I just come back into music class. I want to take this art class and technically I was pre med English Major. Technically but I made so little progress toward the major. I ended up at twice the number of units. You would need to graduate with no regrets but also no debt because the university was so expensive and I was also running my own little business in working so it worked now. Stanford students can't do that because the workload to expense. Oh Yeah Yeah. Yeah what what are we looking at now is it. Is it in the eighties? Probably something like. Oh my goodness. Here's the kids really in a lot of people don't know this based on your parents income and I don't want to give the exact numbers here but I'll just make one up if your parents make less than sixty thousand dollars a year so you can fact technique. But it's something like this then Stanford pays all your tuition and other cost so basically you can go to Stanford for free And then there's another your higher up at about one hundred hundred ten thousand and there's another tier so in other words for me. Is Somebody who I just WanNa work with the most interesting young people shirk that just opens the door and a lot of people don't know this yet it's cheaper for some people to go to Stanford then like I started. Fresno City College it is cheaper to go to Stanford then Fresno City College. Yeah that's the they don't make that a part of the headline And it and it should be because I am hearing that increasingly we just did an event at Ucla and it kind of you know there's a Lotta that going on there as well and yeah I guess. It is a nice way to kind of redistribute the the Opportunity Well Stanford is ICS. It's all about. Let's create the leaders of the future. Who will solve the big hard problems and the assumption there is? The solutions are between the disciplines. And you've got all the different socioeconomic. Yeah Yeah So. Let's bring people together with all these perspectives and backgrounds to tackle the hardest problems. I like that I was looking at your background. And as you said you were Mormon you went to. Byu You got your Undergrad. There and your Masters Yeah Yup and you published in some kind of Mormon swaying outlets so when I go to Utah and then just even speaking from the data. My own anecdotal thing. Lowest rate of smoking in Utah right generally very low levels of obesity compared to the national average low levels of drinking compared to the national average there seems to be within the Mormon Foundation. A kind of group goal of betterment is that is that fair to say you're a riot on darts well before the university is starts when you're like this big tiny young. Yeah I've been friends with several Mormons over the years. There is this kind of valued sense of industry and just kind of the self improvement so the fact that you would have gone into behavioral science and specifically how to create habits that. Yeah but let me build on that a little bit as you're right on you're exactly right on. I think that's why that's built into me now. Fast forward to today. I'm a gay man. I've been partnered for twenty five years. I'm obviously not inactive practicing Mormon but growing up I grew up in a super faithful Mormon family in Fresno California the most glamorous a place in and there's a saying it's not in scripture. I don't think but there's a saying among mormonism. This doesn't get publicized. But here we go as man is. God once was as God is man may become So from the beginning you're instilled with the sense of you can progress and reach perfection. That's part of it which has a real downside like. Oh you've got to just keep pushing better and you've got to be perfect people pleasing perfectionist all these things and in some ways. Tiny habits is a reaction to that. Because you don't have to be perfect. Part of that is like no push that aside and do you think that notion that as man is God once was and as God is man can become my education on the incredible success of the Mormon faith was one that empowered people individually more than the other religions. Did that you were. Do I have this right. Your average prisoner can receive a message from God which kind of differs from some of the other religions in that they credit that for being one of the reasons that spread in the way that it did because it was an empowering relationship with God maybe yeah there is that sense I think but also you have the missionary effort and so boy doing the thing that my ancestors it done and all of my relatives. I want two year mission. I went to Peru to the poorest parts of Perot which even now I so value not actively practicing leaving Mormon but I so value that two year experience serving people in Peru who were totally different for me. Shar and just seeing the world from their perspective and it's not like two weeks. It's two years when I returned home. The culture shock was coming home not going to Peru. Uh-huh is the opulence. Just the indulgence. And I just could not believe carpet floor and the size of the homes and whatever so it really was a wonderful way to broaden my horizon. Well I'm going to add to that of my Mormon friends who went on mission. The conversion rate is horrendously low right. I mean you're knocking on doors and being rejected. Yes so I'll say on top of it that you probably pick up some grit in that two years. That's kind of a good character builder. Yeah Yeah it is. And it's no accident at a lot of Mormons or great salespeople and they also train you young to get up in front of people and speak and give these little talks okay and that benefits me now. Because I love speaking. I love teaching vied to give a keynote at a moment's notice like you have sixty minutes. Bj I would love it right right. Yeah I think it comes from that but also you know having passion sharing it and not getting setback if people say no yeah. Monica buckle up. Are you ready for this? Bog was a teacher. Aide or Assistant to Philip Zimbardo who created the famous Stanford prison experiment. Is that accurate? Yes what a juicy movie tutelage just remind people the Stanford prison experiment famously was. They made some students guards and some students inmates and then they just observe them for some opportunities wasn't true experiment it was an experience. Yeah it was an expert. Yes yes if it came under all kinds of critique and whatnot and my favorite part of the whole thing that was pointed out that the orchestrators of the experiment. He chose an experiment. He's not realizing or maybe he was really but he too is A. He is a guard in this experiment ultimately. Because he's in he's the God of this whole thing he's created so he goes probably making decisions he wouldn't normally Ma- and it's in the basement of the psychology department at Stanford and it starts going right quickly so absorbed in it took his wife to go really crossings failed. This is this is not going well and so they had to call it off. There is violence right. There is people got physical with each other but the people adopted these roles and they played these roles and it just grew and grew and grew and expanded in had this dynamic so quickly that nobody expected he owns like a a micro lord of the flies like micro version in is what were the big takeaways of that. Like was that. If you're labeled something you become that thing is that our tax has surprising power right. We don't even recognize that that the context around us the roles were given the identity. The way we think about ourselves then leads to a whole bunch of pavers. Now there's upside to this and in tiny habits in some ways that's what you do. You unlock your positive potential by shifting identity but in this case it was quite negative but that was the how dramatic it was big surprise. Yeah well I think all of our Egos would tell us no no. I'm me and I know who I am. And you can put me in any situation and I would. I would do as I normally would do. But in fact none of us pretty much would do what we would normally do. If the context radically changed or our role radically changed and you know when it comes to changing your behavior there's only three ways one having a pitney which you can't design relief for yourself and others to is tiny habits tiny changes. We'll talk about that but three. There's the third way is to redesign your environment or your context and that reliably works now if you need a big fast change. That's what you gotta do. Not all of us can go. Oh I'M GONNA move I'm GonNa Change my friends. I'm going to be wearing a suit and a tie and a name badge. Yeah and you know. Be a preacher and Peru right. Yeah so I've watched over fifteen years. Tens of thousands of people attempt sobriety and then I've watched certain things results in certain outcomes. Geographical cures is what we call it. A lot of addicts will will try geographical cure. So they just can't break addiction. They're not ready to admit that they are powerless over it. But they'll do some radical thing. I'm moving to Texas and I'm going to be a ranchers these grandiose schemes. That are gonNA shake them out of this pattern so at least in sobriety geographical cure rarely bears any fruit. When I was reading about your three ways in the environment changing being one of them I was thinking of this interesting thing. I read about the London to being shut down in that on all these people that would normally commute to work on. It were forced to either ride bikes or walk and when it resumed service. They lost a ton of passengers because all these people discovered. Oh I like walking to work or I like biking and then I stop at this thing so in that case it did radically shift people's behavior. Yeah to and from work. So key of redesigning your environment whether you actually move or just readjust and stay in. The same place is to do it in a way that it makes the new behaviors. You want to do really easy or it's the only way you can get it done. I can't ride the tube now. I HAVE TO BUY WALK. And then the unwanted behaviors make them harder or impossible so it's not just go to a new place. It's you've got to have that in mind new behaviors do I WANNA facilitate or make mandatory and the flip side of that right because if you're an addict and you go somewhere else are still substances in that place in the probably the same amount the end. There's there's some bags in every city. You Shine Them. They know where Shit is well. And you can do it even in the smallest of ways where you turn off notifications right more. You put water by you and impart tiny. Habits is an interplay with environment change because you can do a simple thing like turn off notifications which is tiny that then leads a big impact. Because then you're not getting interrupted or pouring water. Put it right in. Your work does so part of the fun of change and I know people aren't GonNa think change is fun but it can be. It's almost like this puzzle or this challenge. Like how do I redesign this to make it so easy to do the things that I want to do? Yeah help me. And so just in general I think most people can relate to wanting to change. Yeah as New Year's proves people make resolutions and quite often people pursue a goal and they fail at that goal and then it lowers their self esteem and everything else. It kind of results in not good. Maybe a worse place than you started in. There's so many errors in the way that we pursue goals. Then you've discovered in your lab you've studied how people change you study behavior. And then you study habits in so you have a very different approach than the conventional. I'M STOPPING ALL CALORIE. Intake that you know. I'M GONNA work out six days a week. All these things that I think we can all relate to. You have a much kinder softer approach. Which you have proven is more effective so in behavior design which is what I described my work as behavior design behavior is defined as a certain type of person doing an action in a given context or environment. So it's not just action. It's the type of person in an environment doing a specific action like this morning for example. I didn't do my usual surfing workout that it'd be doing in Maui every morning and my way go surfing. That's my workout this morning. I did three sets pushups right and so after you peed. Because I know you're I know you're you're habits steps yes after I ki. Ay You have just so so yes so sometimes when I travel. I won't do any workout now. It's not that I failed in the habit but it's different habit. The habit I haven't Mao is different than habit. I have in California the workout habit and then when you travel it's entirely different because you're in a different context. Yeah and so- behaviors that. It's not just the action. It's a certain kind of person in a context doing an action. If you change any one of those things it's a different behavior. Right in the ultimate goal is if I understood everything correctly is to have behavior that then becomes habit. Does that the jets Nirvana in tiny habits. Yeah that's what we're talking about that now. There are fifteen ways. Behaviors can change of those fifteen one of them is to create and sustain a habit. So I've mapped out here. Fifteen ways behavior can change. But if you want to boil it down to be quite simple and helpful. It's there's one time behavior something you do one and done okay. You have an example. The kidney replacement. That's that's that's one and it could be you. Sign up to work with a trainer okay. It could be by a steamer for vegetables one and done next habit. Forming habits and the third bucket is stopping habits So those are the most practical ones that people mostly care about. Yeah and you break them down into dot span and path right behavior grid no lines. Fifteen as behaviors can change. And it's a three by five matrix and it's kind of like the periodic table of elements but for behaviors map this out because it didn't exist some rising. We've worried about behavior for thousands of years and more rigorously one hundred thirty or so but there had been. No mapping of here are the different ways behaviors can change behavior types and. I tried to get a graduate student in Europe to do it. Mentoring role help them and they didn't do it so I did it myself. And so so now there is this. It's called the fog behavior grid. There's fifteen types. Each one has a name so like a new behavior. You do one time. It's called a green dot behavior. Green that it's new dot one time whereas habits are Blue Path. Blue familiar path. Means You keep doing it. So each of those fifteen types has a name. Now I used to chair this in keynotes and stuff and the audience would just start snoring. It's not a good model for designing behaviors. It's good for analyzing behaviors. But it's good. We have it working on the behavior. Grid. Were IN MY LAB. Two thousand nine. We started writing a guide for each one of the fifteen behaviors and we finished that in two thousand ten. Yeah we created this tool called behavior. Wizard that you can still find behavior was dot. Org and it's like tell us what you want to change. And here's the guide and it was at that time were my lab shifted dramatically away from the previous work looking at what we called. Persuasive Technology It was that exact project or like. We're not going back looking at technology. We're interested in human behaviors right and these fifteen types in helping people learn how to create any behavior you want but the starting point is understanding. What type because each of those fifteen cells? There's a different way to design for each one. Yeah now so quitting. Something's one thing right but just looking at a healthy behavior in I think in your tedtalk you use this as an example which would just be like overall health right so instead of trying to pursue overall health which might include exercise or weight loss or. I don't know blood pressure reduction all these things right if you pursue that as a goal it's nearly impossible but if you create a swarm of little habits around this goal that they in turn will lead you to that goal so you can kind of almost. Just scrap that huge top of the mountain goal in focus more on the little tiny things that would ultimately lead up to that. Yeah right on and so the good news is the way you change your behavior. There's a reliable way to do. There's a process. There's this system tiny habits I outlined the system and this is not obvious. It's something we had to discover intestines like boom now here. It is this way but you do start with I. What's my aspiration right? Some people call it a goal. I either call an aspiration outcome one. Is it that I want? Yeah next step is to do what you just said taxes then figure out. What all the different behaviors. That can take me to my aspiration Outcome we're my goal and you explore that in a method that I call magic wanting and it's a fun creative where you say okay if I want strong relationships with my siblings then you could come up with a whole bunch of different behaviors. That could help you. Now you're not committing to any of them at this point and then later in the process you pick which of those options that you actually WanNa do and there's a way to pick the best. I was just going to say so. This is really really key because this technique requires some honesty with yourself which I love. Which is you say. That people aren't going to do behaviors that either. A require an incredible amount of sustained motivation right so people feel very motivated on December. Thirty first they have a lot of gumption on that day but over time and workload and all the stuff. Your motivation is going to ebb and flow so Yup. Exactly so not ideal. You're aiming for the bleachers. If you'RE GONNA rely on motivation to create a behavior if you're within the military or some way you know if you go the cross box you're going to be super motivated for that. Our yeah but human motivation goes up and down. Yeah and the surprise to me is when you go and look at the academic work. Who's studied this? This was has not been studied for very long Even the acknowledgement. That motivation fluctuates over time. Just there's not a rich literature on that. In fact I hadn't been named the shifts one of my boot camps professional training I was doing. We named it. We called it. The motivation wave now. The fact that our motivation goes up and down. Does it mean where bad just that's human nature. That's how it works. Yeah that's as your motivation is going down for one thing. It's going up for a different thing and that's how it should be because if you're motivated do everything all the time. That's not very adaptive. So the way you circumvent on is you designed for yourself at the lowest point of motivation nuts and this is why went like so as I started teaching tiny habits in two thousand eleven after a year of hacking my own behavior. And it's like oh my gosh. This has changed my life because I was in a really tough spot. I mean I was so many things going wrong in my life and found this weighed. What Year were you tweeting your weight? Oh my gosh. I don't remember but by the way people hate it when you tweet your way. That was really early. Twitter days every day as a potential motivation. In fifteen seconds go. I'd completely forgotten. I learned quickly. They don't like that. Yeah but but every morning to get on a scale and he tweeted and I would assume you're you're operating theory at that point was Kinda shame myself housing way right. Yeah the or. I'll be accountable to this. Big Group of people didn't work. Let's see this is before I'd figured things out. This was know I was a behavioral scientist. I was believing all the old stuff. Worked okay this is before the break through and behavior design a tiny habits and Oh okay if I just do this if I track it if I put myself on the hook and public exposure I will the naturally be shamed into eating different War The positive spin is that you would have created an artificial motivation. Yeah and sometimes that works but some you know there. There's just it's so hard to create a way to sustain high levels of motivation so as a behavior scientists studying all this stuff and understanding how human nature works in humans are console on. And then the real breakthrough I think in my work did not happen in the research laboratory. It was me deciding to teach this quirky thing. I called tiny abbots. Anybody that wanted to sign up and I had no idea this would keep going for years and it would add up to be over forty thousand people what I learned about five thousand people in so I was a few months in two thousand eleven. A woman wrote me and she said I now see. I've endured a lifetime of self trash-talk. Thank you so much. Bj For helping me flip this and embrace the positive feelings and celebrate. We were talking about celebration. Wednesday of the five day program that I was teaching and that I mean I guess I was just so naive or so sheltered. I didn't realize that's where everyday people are at where they are defeated discourage they beat themselves up self trash talk and so on and it was that moment. I remember exactly where I was sitting when I read her email. I refer to her tiny Abbott to call her Rhonda. That's not her real name. It changed her name and I was just. This is a lot about you that you picked Rhonda derail you interesting. It's very I knew it came from somewhere and it was just like okay. So this is a quirky little side thing was done. I need to bring this out bigger. Russell I just kept doing and kept doing it. And for years so the fact that I then interacted with thousands of people thousands of people after that real people in their real life with real habits in real struggles taught me so much about what really works. And what doesn't work then. You combine that with the academic rigor and that is the thing that could just feel so. Well I WANNA say fortunate but also have a huge duty to share. Churn GonNA 'cause I've had the opportunity queue up I was able to learn these things. Learn this method. That's transformative and now I'm delighted to share it but I also feel share. This is what I love about it. And I'm here to help you as a non Stanford professor do that is. It's actually not abstract so it sounds a little abstract. I think on the surface like habits and behaviors in how they differ from resolutions. And all this stuff but what I'll say is there are actual steps there are actual concrete actions. You take that have a result. Stay tuned for MORE ARMCHAIR DARE. We are supported by squarespace. Now what are some things you could do with squarespace? Monica a website. That's right you could turn your cool idea into a new website. You could showcase your work. You could blog or publish content sell products and services of all kinds promote your physical or online business or announcing upcoming events or special project. A wedding a Bar Mitzvah now as many of you know. We designed our beautiful website on squarespace. It's highly functional. We sell products on it. We INFORM OUR LISTENERS. About all the updates. They need to know about we. 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You know I feel about German Swedish design. I'm all for it. I know you don't tell me I use Harry's to is it on my legs and it's a very clean shaven. It's a very very clean shave. I do it on my my neck and it's just smooth as a baby's but and I don't get any razor burn. They cut out the middleman and shipped directly to you. Saving you money and time. One hundred percent quality guaranteed. If you don't love your shave let them know when they'll give you a full refund. Harry's has an amazing offer for arm cherries new customers. Get five dollars off a trial set at Harrys dot com slash DAX? You'll get a five blade razor waited handle foaming Shave Gel with aloe in a travel cover. Join the millions of guys and Monica. Who are already saving money and go to Harrys dot com slash Dax to claim your offer. But the thing that I really really like. I'm GonNa Have you explained to Monica? Talk about your goal of or you would say aspiration of doing more pushups in what you decided to do to create that outcome. Oh wow eight years ago. I never thought it'd be talking about the numbly but so I'm now fifty six so I was probably getting toward fifty and I thought. Oh you know. Look at the research. I'M GONNA lose mass and bone density so I WANNA do strength training every day. Well what can I do well? I'll do push ups okay. I'll do push ups so in tiny habits what you do is you take whatever. Did you want strength training and you make it really really small so pushups but not twenty not ten by picked to super super tiny tiny then next Tuesday. Where does this fit naturally in my day? Where do I place this? What can it come after and I figured out after a few trying a number of things that's after and so then we're really quick. This is key. This is the breakthrough so he has. What's called what can trigger a behavior. So he has this statement. I love this statement and it's after I blank. I will blank. So you're building something you already do. As opposed to introducing an entirely new way of life. It's like well. We already know the things we're going to do throughout the day. I'm going to drink coffee. I'M GOING TO GO PEE in my case twenty five plus times a day. I'm going to go for me. I'm going to take a couple hundred milligrams of Nicotine. I'm GonNa Watch TV. I'm going to put the kids on what I know what things I'm predictably going to do on day. Okay so so so for me. I figured it out after P I will do to push ups can that was it. I got a little bogged down in the particulars of that. I'm like are you doing them in the bathroom? Yeah none of my business you have been so forthcoming on this podcast. I'm willing to go and work mostly from home. So half of my body is in the bathroom. Half of it's in the hall fan. My little dog is looking at me right here. When I'm traveling like an hotel put towels on the floor with him at Stanford. No I don't do it. I look in the mirror or maybe I do squats but so mostly you know the mechanics of a to home. I can do more than two if I want almost all the time I do more than two but the habits to and if I do too. That's a success and I move on but Dexter your earlier point. This is so important every routine you already have is like real estate where you can play something after it. So after you start the coffeemaker. What new habit would you pretend after you buckle your seatbelt? What new habit could go there after you walk in the door after? We're GONNA put your bag down. You can add a new habit there so sometimes you start with the tiny habit and look around. Where does it fit and other times? You could say what routines do I have. And what new thing can I place just after that so really good one for that is after I start? Shower habit could fit there because we all do that. And we have a few seconds to do something some people. It's longer than a few seconds. I have gratitude habit that I do about my body some weird aspect of my body. One of my md. France does pull ups pull a bar in his bathroom. He does pull up. Some people do squats. I do the question because I feel like a lot of people. Let's say they did yours king to push ups after pink and then like you said so when you're at Stanford you're like no. I'm not GonNa do that right. I feel like a lot of people will just get derailed and say like well. I didn't do it earlier today. When I peed at Stanford and it all goes to show how do you combat the I mean the showers? Good 'cause you're always a normally in one position but well there's a mindset that goes and it goes against the tradition so so much of what I'm sharing here is just not what people have heard before part of it is a mindset you know there's a mindset to change and part of it is hey when. I do what I intended awesome. Good for me way to go. Keep going and when you don't do what you intended you just let it go. There's nothing about guilt or shame or I messed up. You just let it go move on. He also has. He encourages people to celebrate right. I'M AWESOME YEAH. I'm awesome so if you do. Up and then you pop pop to push ups and then you go. I'm awesome or whatever Mawson fist pump. Little dance see anything that causes a positive emotion. And you do that to wire in the habit. So that's what creates. The habit is the emotion you feel so when your brain associates of positive emotion with this behavior. The behavior becomes more automatic. So it's not repetition. It's not number of repetitions. It's the association also interesting. I gotta say my knee jerk to all of this was like no way. I'm cold Turkey. I'm extreme. I'm so addict that you know I'm like no. We gotta go ballistic on everything but then it just it's ultimately most of those things are completely unsustainable in my experience like the nuclear option can be done for some months for me but it really can't be done in perpetuity you know and going tiny just in fact. I said in the book. Hey people lower the bar. Lower your expectations which is kind of opposite of what we're hearing but the key. I mean there's two keys one help yourself do what you already want to do. And the second is help yourself feel successful feel nominee and part of setting yourself up to feel. Successful is a lowering the bar lowering your expectations. And when you exceeded extra credit I'm rockstar student. But men it can pretty much always floss onto to push ups or pour a glass of water. Yeah I advise this. All the time people will go. I'M GONNA. I'm GonNa go to the gym for an hour every other day or whatever. I'm like what if you just committed to like ten minutes just to start there for something to build on. It's just such a big swing to like so you're going to do four hours of strength training a week and you're likely not achieve that and then you'll end up doing nothing so you know then black and white thinking you know that's not very helpful infection like perfect doing this and this is why. I don't advocate tracking you know tracking if it helps so back to the to call the maximums if it helps you feel successful do it. But if tracking is going to make you feel unsuccessful. It's not right for you or it's not right for you with that particular. Change Accountability. Does it help you feel successful or not setting a goal as a lot of people talk about? Does that help you feel successful so you can take everything? I think that you've heard about behavior. Behavior Change and those two things are your litmus test is helping you do what you want to do in helping you feel successful while Monica type. A overachiever. So what do you think what? Method lends itself to that personality. Type this one. Yes absolute stone. Yes so for sure where you're energized and you're you're used to focus in. I mean I think all of us in the Romar this right but when motivations high take that energy that you have and focus on redesigning your environment now do the one time behavior before the the motivation drops and invest in training yourself to do stuff getting the equipment you need and so on so then future. Good behaviors are super easy rosy of skilled up. You have the equipment and the know how and so on and that is the best investment of a motivation. Peak like when the motivation wave goes up. Don't go out and run for five hours. That doesn't then have I mean you're GonNa be sore the next day. Take that time and put in the work you need in order to create a sustainable system. Exactly I think I'll find the exact quote and sat on the fact check but I think Stephen King had some tip about this for reading because people like I don't have time which I died so guilty of and he has something about. Don't wait till you have a half hour to read if you have five minutes. Take that five minutes and reading. Two pages is better than waiting to read hours for. Yeah that's how you actually finish. A book is two pages at a time over the bar so in my own life when summer when I wanted to do a Lotta reading all I had to do was open the book I know and then I had a book market. And they're the smiley face. That was all happy. That was my yeah. Help me feel successful. And so open the book and I would usually read more than just a sentence or two but the habit was just. Open the book yeah. I one time had a goal or a rule which was just all you gotTa do is put on your workout gear perfect porn then you can lounge about if you want but most times once that gear was on. I'm like fucking along you know and then I'll get into it now. You don't state this or maybe you do and I just didn't do enough research but as I was thinking about all this. I couldn't help but imagine that the Nevada for all this would be someone just illustrated the greatest example of this. I wish I could credit them. But they were trying to explain like the subconscious versus the conscious in the example they gave was when operating a car on the highway at eighty miles an hour. It's actually very complicated task. It takes people to get good at that and often some accidents. But you are in that car and everything that's happening a subconscious like you're just you're turning the wheel when you need to your accelerating you're breaking your signaling but you are your conscious brain is thinking about. God knows what like. Yeah you know in fact. I think it was saying that was pointing but your conscious brain is so busy thinking of other things that you're mostly completely unconscious of what you're doing to operate the vehicle and I would imagine that these habits the best version of them would be like you. Just do them and you're not even aware of them. The analogy. I've used to describe this because a lot of people said heavy to. What are the tiny habits? He used to lose weight or be more productive or whatever. And it's like they've become so seemless in my life that it's I could think Cardi pull them out but they don't feel like things I created. I used to be the president. Pottery Club at Stanford graduated and the knowledge. Is that soon your hand building with clay and you want to add to a pot. You take piece clan you added and you rub it in and eventually the seams go away and it's indistinguishable from the rest of the vase and that's how it feels when these habits are just so part of your life you kind of forget. You actually created as a habit. It's just what you do and so you can do many of these and it doesn't feel like Oh. I'm sustaining two hundred habits. They just become part of your life. You're just kind of fades away in the background. So yeah you changed your originally she. He was tweeting his way. Mon Not ideal he went from. I WANNA say like one. Eighty two to one ninety. Four courses of this is just the fact that people were upset like it's his twitter if he can. Catalog is what people need advocacy. I own my gosh. I'M GONNA go look that up. That's a bad idea. People do not do that but I knew if you could and again you as you said you'll probably they've been filed into the white noise of your brain but what are some of the things that you change your approach. You took a tiny habits approach. And now you've reached. Oh wait that you like doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it. It's one you like. So wh what was the swarm of bees that surrounded that a big part of it was dialing in what foods were healthy for me And I hesitate to say whether or not those are take that as a prescription right different for different people but certainly Monaco does bus cookies cakes. On that the I'll give some that I think are applicable to everybody had the habit of filling up a water glass and putting it on my work desk not drinking the water just putting it there and there are certain supplements that I think are good for me. I had a habit of putting them on a dish and putting it on my work desk when I travel. I have the habit of packing my travel food. Because they can't rely what's going to be in the plane or I got the hotel last night at two in the morning and so there certain foods. I rang. I'm bringing nuts and I bring boiled eggs in some vegetables ready to go and so on so it's just figuring out. I think the foods that work for you than making it really easy doing wiring those in his habits and so really quick. What is your habit or your routine to prepare. Your food is that happened on the same day every week. Does it happen in preparation for a trip while it depends on a day-to-day basis? My partner loves cooking and most of the Times. We'll get a partner who they will not let me in the kitchen very office fix lunch once in a while but he fixes breakfast. We've dialed in the breakfast. Exactly what it is and so. He fixes the breakfast and but the fridge is designed in a way once a week. We call it Super Fred where everything in there is on our game plan. There's nothing in the fridge. That's off limits at anytime anytime it can open the fridge. Eat whatever I want as much as I want such a good feeling right and then for lunch often I get to do my own line. Of course which will be fresh. Greens sardines inaugural spam Leichhardt. Interesting I kind of love him and then for example then bring something in like mustard or Celente pesto or something like that which I knows all my game plan and then there's some things I go back and forth on like cheese cheese wasn't than it is and it's not yeah I I know it's bad for me Just from my own body not everyone else's but for mine. Yeah I get tons of Flam all kinds of disturbing things from Derry and then I go off it for a long enough that I remember no. I don't think that did give me all that stuff and then go back for a long time. I liked to relearn lessons over and over again. That's kind of my hobby but I think one of the most helpful things people can do in this domain and if the aspiration is lose weight. Stop and pause and say. Is that really what you're going after? Well here's step is clarify. Is it really weight loss? Or is it more vigor energy or whatever and so the first step invading your design? Is it cl- get clear on your aspirations and that might mean revising it? Yes okay great. This is getting honest with yourself partners so you say that behavior needs to have impact. It needs to be a behavior you can do and it has to be a behavior you actually want to. Yeah so this is all crazy key. So the example. I think of all the time I get in debates with a couple of different friends of mine who have expressed goals of they want to family and I will say them quite often. Either you don't really want to family as I mean like have kids a partner. Okay right but all. The behavior is demonstrating the opposite pursuit. And I will say to them. You should feel no obligation to want family. It's fine if you don't want family. If you just in theory WanNa family we have to. I figure out like do you really because if you really want one. These behaviors are anesthetics wanted. That so you just got to be honest about one or the other my opinion. It's like a you're free to live our the fuck you want pursue whatever you want so great with it but if you're telling me you have this going. I'm your friend I ha. I feel obligated point out. These are the steps you take to get to that goal and this is just a circular debate happens quite often but I don't think people are dreadfully honest about what they actually want. They want some things in theory. Maybe in tiny habits breakdown as wants versus shuts guy should have a family because my parents want grandkids. And did it somehow just should the should are very hard to turn into habits and they don't reliably become habit though wants. It's what you focus on. That first day meant help yourself do what you already want to do. And if it's not that the don't do the shirts no what about. It's hard sometimes differentiate should and why you think you want that because you've been ingrained to feel like you should. It's on the same continuum is wanting need like we all say we need this and it's like no they want but what about the person that's driving by the way? If you heard this when I was twenty seven just leaving seven eleven to have my second set of hot dogs that I will get there almost every day hungover and then making plans to get fucked up soon. I would think would if you don't want anything that is on the healthy spectrum or the productive spectrum. Some people must be sitting with themselves going. There's nothing I want. That is healthy will but there's other domains so okay. Tidiness creativity relationships so there's other heirs in the the even if you're a party animal you want relationships you. WanNa cohort escalates. Take music so I'm a huge fan. So in tiny habits I only prescribe one habit and everything else is about a system to do any habits. You want okay. If I were pressed to prescribe other habits because like who am I to tell people what habit staff one. But if I were oppressed I would say cra. Habit of playing a musical instrument daily. There's so many reasons and what's worked really. Well for People Guitar. Just play three chords on the guitar. That's all so fine with that fits in your day. Play those three chords and if you WANNA do more do more and if you don't want to don't I'm set it. Aside celebrate my Moss and my habit and so why why is that the one that you think is is by the moniker. You so important right. I know three-quarters oh good for you. It could be piano. It could be Ukulele. Can Be Tar. It could be recorder which I love and everyone hates but I love. You'll be singles. No one's living with someone who is how do I talk about this? The vibration titi the expressing yourself the fantasy that may be performed for somebody. Someday I there's just lots of things I had a voice disability growing up you did and in the Audio version of my book I recorded a special preference where I talked about that disability because it was not guaranteed. I would narrate my own book. Okay had to audition for it. Sure but and I tried to negotiate like I am going to be the narrator went back and forth finding agents said. Pj they're not going to guarantee you because they're investing in the book can quickly ask it. What was it a physiological thing of a vocal chord issue or speech issue? I talked like this until I was eighteen. O Nuclear I hadn't known lower register. We call that in academia Minnie mouse. Itis yes and that's what I know that Monica does. It was painful so through high school. Having a voice like this I was made fun of bullied and so on and so as I was narrating the book and I just getting getting to the end of his last day. I thought I'm going to write a preface just for this just for this because it doesn't really you know print versions done out and so I told the story and I wrote it up if I can get through this. I wrote it up and I went out to read it to my partner and I said okay. I'M GONNA be narrating this recording this but let me read it to you to make sure it works. And as I started reading I broke down and started crying and I was like hold on. I gather myself in like three times. I couldn't get in. He was also crying and hit. Hadn't heard a lot of this. Yeah and how hard it was and I wanted to share this. Because here was the struggle. I had that I felt like I had no control. Over Z zero control. I couldn't fast for puberty and change my voice and all of that and then how I felt so ashamed and embarrassed and how that baggage carried with me even now. My voice is weird but then when it came to the opportunity to narrate my book then I wanted to even more. Yeah and then it was like no you can audition so says it in agreement. I can audition but there's no guarantee so taking all that baggage and all that this would be a major victory for me. I went into any habits mode and for a year. I would go to a room all by myself. Closes the door and record and narrate and narrates. I used all the stuff I knew about habits in practice over the years to get better and better and better I listen did today and then the day came for the addition fast forward I got it and I was able to create my own book which victory. It's obviously bigger than that. So you're I have to imagine your voice coupled with the fact that you're probably hiding the fact that you're gay at that age knowing and so you're trying to ride you're gay this masculinity this role. Yeah absolutely and then there's these moments so I tell a story in the preface but when I didn't tell so at the end of the year the Girls Club chooses you know the guy they like the best and they picked me so I go up to get this award in front of the entire high school in Fresno threats and the football players. Like I get I get nobody protects you know. Go get their ward you down and it's all combined you know it's sort of like okay. I'm trying to be involved in student government. I didn't run for student body president because I would have to speak every week so I can't do that. I run for vice so it was always. It was a real limitation. Yeah I wanted to share that in the preface helped people just like I've been in a spot where I felt helpless and I felt ashamed and I felt persecuted for something I had no control over right and so I get it but then also you can take these challenges and you can use. What's in this book to achieve something that you never thought would be possible. Yeah they can become your superpowers and quite often they do. And that's what I do. Now I teach and I love speaking still odd voice and it gets weak but I've embraced it as like that's the Kirke Breaks in weird ways. It sounds funny now but it's who I am. Its distinctive which is good and so now I own it rather than feel bad about it but it was a real process but what is so often that the benefit of sharing your quote shameful moments or things embarrassed about the benefit of it is. You've created this story in your head that this is the worst thing ever and then so shameful so embarrassing in so often in fact I've never seen it go the other way you share that with a group of people or a person in the result is always like. Oh Yeah I totally I get that too. That feels normal. This is the human condition like that is so empowering to bring it out into the light I think and I think my sense that morning when I woke up was I just wanted so right now. Yes my life is great. I dialed in so many things. Live halftime in Maui. And teach when I won- you know it's great but people might see that and think well you're just super lucky. I am lucky But I wanted to share that. Everybody has struggles and everybody has problems that nobody's perfect and I wanted people to understand that part of me. Yeah so they don't just see this perfect picture because often that's all people see they don't see all the failures all the mistakes all the twists and turns all the emotional baggage. The best part about you is that you tweeted your weight every morning and you gain the weight I mean. That's the one thing that people will go. Oh yeah that's probably exactly what would happen to me. It's like human part of your story that also showing that luck is tied to behavior that you don't just get lucky that you're doing things that put you in the position to have opportunity. Luck doesn't just fall on well and you can make these steps forward you can. You can design for this change not in guesswork way. There's a system and it's way easier than people think and it's not hard to get started is not hard to maintain. The hard thing is having that leap of I guess. I'll say faith that this is what gets you to. The big outcomes doesn't feel painful enough I think people have this paradigm in their head whereas like no no pain no gain and your I can do to push ups after I p. That's not even worth it to push. Yeah Yeah Yeah so your first point one thing that you really and you've already said it but I just want to really drill into it for folks is that specificity is everything here so about. I guess. Ten years ago I recognized. I have incredible road rage. Issue like out of the CAR AT STOP LIGHTS ONCE EVERY COUPLE OF MONTHS. You know just terrible. My wife hates it. Everyone feels dangerous. I'm not proud of it. I get an Adrenal dump. It's it's not healthy all these things so I WANNA say to New Year's Eve in a row I set as a goal no more road rage right and I did not succeed those two years and then so the third year I said just one rule you cannot get out of your car being scream you yell fuck you you can. You are no longer allowed to exit the and that was achievable right so I did a year of that and then the next year was no more hand signals to people so no more flipping people. I've known nothing that worked. And then the final thing was. I can't use my horn unless literally sums gonNA hit me once. I broke it up into all these components that made this one huge characteristic yes of of road rage within that road razors about nine things. I did that. I would say fell into the road rage then diagram in in one by one type parse them out. I was able to approach them. They weren't so big. It's to your point. Don't make your goals so enormous that they can't be achieved shares. What you did exactly right from the tiny habits behavior design perspective so in the book. I draw this cloud. Which is your aspiration. Put It in the cloud. You can't design for this abstract thing directly but then around the cloud. You put specific behaviors now. Normally you do this for creating habits right you can also do for untangling so inside is like stop or reduce road rage. That's an abstraction which you did exactly right as you broke it down into specific behaviors and you started untangling it behavior by behavior. Rather than just obsessing or trying to motivate yourself toward this abstract tangle. Yeah behavior so in tiny habits talk about untangling unwanted habits not breaking them you specified what those tangles for at least in your mind but there is a graphical way to do it in a step by step process and then you pick the one that was the easiest to do. Yeah Yeah Yeah easiest you got that one done and you went to the next one and the next one's exactly right now my practice on that and I don't know if this works for you or anybody else but when I get frustrated S. situation or somebody in line I use it and this technique is called a personal habit you take something negative to create a positive habit from like a pearl create something beauty from an irritation so in that case what I say in my mind I say everyone is doing the best they can. No one tries to screw up a hard a hard one so you take something negative. And there's a section in tiny habits and we're going to expand on this actually because people have really resonated with the idea of Pearl Habits. You take something negative that you cannot control. Maybe something you do or somebody else and then you use that to prompt you so that becomes the thing after somebody annoys me. I will say something positive negative thing that irritation becomes this beautiful thing alone at least for me. It gives me empathy at least a moment of empathy and understanding it calms me down or at least stops. Yeah just press pause on the escalation of the anger. Whatever you're feeling now what happens and this happens with other habits that you deliberately form it will then start happening another aspects of your life even without. We're going back to the Ottoman history. Where just autopilot? So then when you're going something just Kinda to that. Feeling of empathy will crop up more. Just like if you have a tiny habit of meditating the meditation will pop up another parts of your life when you need it. This is part of the beauty. So tiny gets big. Because it multiplies if finds other places in your life where pops up even without you designing for it. Yeah but you gotTa Start Widen get that habit nailed and then it grows like a plant. That's propagating others so copyright Dax I love after is blank. I blank stay tuned for more Armchair Berg Dare. We are supported by perfect snacks. Monica you and I are ticketed to these love. This is no bullshit. We love the perfect bar so much. It's fresh from the fridge. Protein snack that could not be more delicious perfect bars. The original refrigerator protein bar means. They're free from chemical preservatives and stored in the fridge for optimal taste and texture are made with freshly grown nut. Butter organic honey. Have up to seventeen grams of whole food. Protein twenty organic superfoods and have a cookie dough like texture that is unlike any protein bar. You've Everett. Now this is where I'm gonNA come in the Ethin- taste of those things very very it is like indulging in a candy bar or the delicious. They've got flavors like dark chocolate peanut butter coconut peanut butter almond butter. Your sure to find something you love. 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Like e commerce tools to help you sell online or in person and like access to business loans to help you manage your cashflow purchase new equipment or whatever it is you need to grow your business and their payments are still the best in the Biz. There's no complicated contracts or weird fees and you can always get your money fast even instantly now we sell with our square at live shows for the merchandise and we get that that pail that cash quick now. The best part is all. These tools are in one place and they're all built to work together so whether you're an online retailer or restaurant owner hairstyles or skydiving teacher. Whatever square has tools that can help you no matter what size are stage of business? You're at sea. All the way square can take Your Business From Square. One to whatever's next at square dot com slash go slash. Dax loans subject to credit approval issued by Celtic Bank member. Fdic okay my immediate question is why have brains evolved this way you do? You have a revolutionary. Take on any of this will answer it this way. So one of the things in tiny habits that I think's very important and but I know I'm going to have a lot of controversy around as I say emotions great habits. It's not repetitions emotions. We have evolved to be that way and it makes total sense when you look at it from a more evolutionary perspective so where I live in California there's a bunch of wildfires. Let's imagine there's Bob Cat mom? That's now foraging for food. In the new landscape and she goes to a ravine in the hills of Sonoma's county and finds a a mouse Bam Something's going to happen in her brain to make that more automatic now. Does she have an emotional? I don't know but let's say she gets a dump right or reward. Something happens then. Rewires her brain to make that more likely in the future So it's that feeling of success than changes the Bobcat moms have it and it's the same thing that works for us and so when we do a behavior and feel successful and it can't be thirty days later your brain has to associate that behavior with that feeling of and that's what the celebration thing and tiny. Aphids is about somebody goofy. You're hacking your emotion in order to wire in the habit and I think that's why it's adaptive when you get good celebrating. You also get good welcoming positive emotions and give an example from this morning so this is you have to look forward to so this morning. I'm getting ready to come here and excited. And and how Frank Shall I be super? You've heard some of the subjects. I don't wear deodorant because I'm always swimming or I'm in the I'm in the water twice a day. I'm not a guy. That sweats whatever. So but I'm coming here and this is a big time to have fun on. Dod so I pulled idea it and it crumbles and falls on the counter. Now my reaction was. Oh just pick a little bit. Put Her on way to go beach. Yeah Yeah it could've been. Oh my gosh. I packed lousy low-quality so my reaction to that moment. Ten years ago before I started tiny habits would have been like one negatively but instead of the immediate reaction was good for me. I made it work. Let's move on and that's happened in other parts of my life where that habit or that reaction the positive reaction rather than the negative reaction and that is what the subtitle is about. The small changes that change everything. It's that it's not two hundred habits it's processing of the world. I don't think in general people give enough credit to this that your experience on planet earth is so often a perception issue right a lens. You're looking through. Yes and this goes to the one habit that I suggest there's only one that I prescribe and it's the Maui have it. I give Ted talk. Why name it that? But it's basically after my feet touch the floor in the morning. You're getting out of bed. You say it's going to be a great day seven words and it's for that very reason that you're talking about tax then helps you process your morning differently. Which means you're reacting to setbacks are opportunities differently. Your trajectory is different and so on so I feel a hundred percent confident in suggesting that one to everybody while and I'll say what people also aren't always aware of is that we have an uncanny ability to confirm our own theories right. Yeah confirmation bias if you think the world is against you you off thousand percent seat ten times in the day that that is confirmed. It's just the nature of us. We want to confirm our belief. So if you can really convince yourself today is going to be a great day. Then you'll only see proof of that. It's just the way your brain and you'll even can be skeptical about that. I mean there are frankly born. I've done this for eight years now. Probably and their mornings that are like has got to be hard. I'm afraid to face this day or you're just not eager. I still say it but I say it. I think it's going to be a great day somehow real about it. Yeah that works to do. We interviewed Jared Cohen. He- he- even further that with the help of Adam Grant. Which is he just has to win. The weak bright so four to seven days have to end in a positive start then better than they started. Love that and so again to your point it making it flexible enough that it actually is a system you create that Plays on your strengths in probably your weaknesses. You don't pursue that. That for him worked he figured out a way that it's a positive experience and that's right. Let's go back to the example of someone who doesn't want to change how the exercise or whatever and I said relationships tidiness creativity music. Find your strength and build on those absolutely so where you want to change what you want to change and often it's where you're strong The mistake because to go to your very weakest point. That's like the middle of the not. Yeah build on those and the good news here is habit. Formation is a skill. It's a set of skills And you can learn those skills on any type of habit so why not learn those habits that you want and are in your will. They'll start point. There's twenty six different skills of habit formation that I unpack and tiny habits and it just like if you were to learn to play a musical instrument don't start with heart songs right WanNa create habits. Don't start with the hardest habit and the pick songs that you like. Just pick habits that you like so if you take what you know about creating skills are building competency and then shifted over to habits at maps very very closely for example often. It's helpful to have coach learning to do Improv actor. Play musical instrument and same thing with habits. There's tiny habits coaches or have a guide like a book rather than than just guessing and so one of the nice wonderful parallels in many think it comes later in the book and I don't think it's quite dawned on people that the habit formation is a skill and we could set up like a merit badge system whereas I care the twenty-six skills boom Bam Bam Bam you're GONNA learn all the skills and this way working on habits where you're strong then you take those skills and apply it where you're weaker or we have more emotional baggage. Yeah just like you would. Here's a really hard piece I have to play. Let me work up my skills on pieces. I love and now I'm GonNa play it to apply to this harder one. Y- you increase your ability and you increase your motivation Right and then from another perspective you might call it self efficacy of the way. I look at any behaviors motivation ability. Prompt and so as you increase your motivation and you increase your ability than the only thing you're lacking is the prompt Audi. Remind yourself so there's this really nice upward spiral that can happen. Let's start where you want to start. I mean we have different identities. We wear different hats at different times as an actor. You totally know that but yeah even as everyday people at a certain point. I'm a teacher certain point. I'm a research lab director another point. I'm a brother And so these identities and we shift among the identities now in tiny habits. What I saw early in my data is that these tiny changes people would make would have ripple effects and within five days well over eighty percent of people would do other habits and about twenty percent of people reporting. They made a big change in their life. And I was like what's going on here. I didn't understand that result and I just saw week after weakened my data and it's like really quickly by v the people are making this big leap and then I added. I started reading the emails carefully. Because that's how I coach People's personally through email and what I saw was a hint. It was identity so I started asking identity questions filling the blink. I know after doing tiny habitat now see. I'm the kind of person who I'm the kind of person who and they could say anything they wanted. Then so that isn't quantitative it's qualitative but seeing this thousands of those. What I saw was people say I now see. I'm the kind of person who can change. I Nelson. I'm the kind of person who can stick to something I now see. I'm the kind of person who can that. So the identities shifted for it was like I'm the kind of person who can't change the kind of person who drops the ball But by seeing evidence not by watching Video Raba. They saw evidence that they did start. Drinking water flushing onto doing pushups opening the book. They saw that they were changing. Which thin gave them a new identity or stronger? Identity can change. I would say a virtual everyone should have is the ability to change. I mean if ever that was a an essential quality to have A good time on planet earth. It's now so we're doing another ten episode podcast about relationships in dating me in this heard about that. Yeah it's exactly that because the end of each episode we get a challenge an assignment to complete before the next episode unlinking these habits basically these bad habits that haven't been working these patterns and now we're about halfway through and both of us are like. Wow it's working. It's the mentality is shifting of the ad the switch from. I'm the kind of person who I'm the kind of person who doesn't like people who are this. I'm kind of person. Who's a workaholic? The kind of person who chooses this. It's starting to change based on these little challenges these behaviors that have shipped. It's so fascinating. Okay so this is what I've heard from people for years and this is what kept propelling me to teach house. I didn't know where this was going. I just knew it was helping people. Of course I had to keep going. I mean even on vacations and family reunions. I'm coaching but there is this thing that happened. Yes so many people are skeptical about. How would you explain it well? I think it's weirdly today. I was getting in the car and I saw someone who was physically attractive to me who I normally that is. Shut off and I've sort of been in this pattern of. I'm the kind of person who's not attractive to the physical only essay every day and I saw this person and I was like. Oh He's attractive is him. He was but I saw and I was like. Oh and I mean this is so weird to say out loud but I also said I'm the kind of person people don't like just seeing me on face value and then today I was like I think people like me when you sound you can hear all around you know soon as you embrace that it was. It's the behavior that shifted the mentality. It wasn't just like US talking about it. Sees little challenges making yourself break these little habits and feel so surprising. Yeah Yeah you wrote the book persuasive technology using computers to change what we think in do and you're at Stanford where a lot of the people that have turned out to be designers of APPs that are hugely addictive. I would say what I'm wondering is do you see yourself moving away from that? It sounds like you do you even stated earlier. You're kind of maybe getting away from that and getting more just to the human. Yeah so yeah. I wrote the book. Persuasive Technology in two thousand two right. It was based on a series of experiments. I did as a doctoral student where I basically took child. Dini's influence principles To See if computers could use those as a laboratory experiments. And it's like Oh yeah they work. Flattery works from computers. Teammates works from computers and so on personalities and things like that so published that and in the book I give a warning like hey people. This is coming whether we like it or not. Oh Yeah here's the ethics of it. Here's what we need to do. And in my dissertation I give ten pages of. Here's how we can use this in a positive way. I draw cartoons story board of a woman named Sue. I was so delighted. My Committee which included Zimbardo Phil Zimbardo Terry Winner Grad Cliff Nass and Byron Reeves train team. They allowed me to draw cartoons in my dissertation. Because I wanted to show. Here's the future vision. And so now. Peleton plus a health system. That's basically what I here's a device it would encourage a UTAH. Virtual characters did to help this person be healthier so certainly persuasive technology publishing that. I was hoping at the time that people would read it. And policymakers would start making all the sea around it. Sure crickets right. I really cared about that book at that time. Yeah yeah well. It's interesting because we all won't say we. All many of us are using these. Apps there pleasurable while. We're using them so no one's really upset with technology wallets happening to them. Because it's been designed to be pleasurable you know and I was just wondering. Do you think that these technologies should have the same warning that cigarettes would have or at the medicine that you get which is like this is an addictive thing Joh- Some of them absolutely say addicted to the mobile phone. I don't like that because it's not the Foun it's experiences we have through this device. Okay this is some of the pushback. I've had journalists and other people like no. Don't just call addiction the mobile phone. Let's get specific because if we can shine a spotlight in name accurately then we can take steps to deal with it but again it's kind of in lockstep tiny habits which is don't try to sum up this global thing get granular. Has We can grain by grain probably alter some things? Yeah and and certainly for certain people certain kinds of experiences on the phone whether it's gaming or some types of social networking is a problem in their lives and then in two thousand six where. I did a formal testimony to sub committee of the FTC. Saying hey and I couldn't go to DC person so. I recorded this video. It's awful. My head is huge in my head is shaved off and and ironically. At that very moment I was recording the video teaching the class Stanford that had Mike Krieger. The later co-founder instagram and Tristan Harris. Who went on to do in time well spent hall awesome? Things recorded this video. Here policymakers here the three areas that we should be worried about and do things about and I got crickets laundry areas number one. I called persuasion profiling okay. Said companies are gathering are a right now and they're going to use it to exploit and this information will be bought and sold just like a credit report and I didn't realize this until two thousand sixteen just after the election. I watched the video again and I do say it's going to be used in elections boom Bam bam Bam next. I talked about video games. That assumptions will be built into video games that will convey a worldview. That's not entirely accurate. Because you get involved in this world and the way. The cause and effect relationships work can be modeled in the video game and people that play it a lot. Well then take those cause and effect relationships into the real world so rise very very subtle way of not just persuasion rewiring your cause and effect relationships in your brain and then the third way I said videos are going to be manipulated. That won't be true but we're going to not be able to believe right now. We call those deep fakes but back. Then there was no name rise. So those are the three things I was highlighting and again. I thought policymakers call me or get in touch. Not Thing and kind of discouraging. My immediate theory on that is that it is the EGO. It's that none of us really think. We're that persuadable. I think we all think like we know true north and we stick to it and we don't like to acknowledge that we're highly persuadable. I think you're right. And the way we described it in my lab so we did a lot of work about the ethics of this and what the implications were and and the simple way. Why are we sitting ducks? Are we robust? Are we sitting ducks and completely vulnerable? And that would be a debate. I would have my students have and talk about it. And there's not a clear answer now. There are other thinkers out there that will have a clear strong answer on that and the practical the way. I see it from my perspective. I've summarized it in just a few words which might be too simplistic. But it's people believe what they want to believe right right right right right. Can't if you just you might resist. Just recognize the reality of that. Everybody in your you believe what you want to believe. Your people on the other side of the political spectrum are believing what they want to believe. Yeah we all are but then that also if we look at behavior change it also means that information alone does not change our behavior okay. That's one of the reasons and that's one of the things that I highlight and call out an apartment. People blame themselves that they can't change what they need to understand is your data and Statistics and information but information alone does not change behavior in part because we believe what we want to believe the very best examples. I have several friends who read the phone. Transcripts with the Ukraine president were looking at the same information. I'm getting one thing. They're getting the polar opposite thing and they're not lying to me. I recognize. They are truthful people and hopefully they're they're looking at me going. I'm truthful to so while what what an impasse to have the same info and such dramatically different experiences with it. I I'm going to go out on a limb here. Okay now more than ever. We need an intervention to help people feel positive and optimistic and deal with the fear and I don't WanNa say the word depression but the feeling bad and the Self trash-talk and whatever and my hypothesis. Our hope is that through tiny habits and people seeing they can't change it will build hope which will counteract the fear and I think with more hope. This is where I'm going on a limb. You are then open to more possibilities and looking at the world into. Detroit I think fair shuts you down and you see it unlimited. I couldn't agree with you more. I think so. Many of the solutions that get thrown out there are so down river there so past us breeding that document having different conclusions. And they don't start with why any of us have an opinion to begin with like yes I think. Starting much further up river can have better results and so my aspiration. I mean the timing of the book yet. People asked me to bring it out years ago and the reasons I didn't end tier now now more than ever if this can help bring hope to people's lives and then help us open our minds to other perspectives. It's terrible divide that we're experiencing. I'm hoping it can have some role in helping. People have more empathy and perspective and understanding and dialogue with each other. Yeah well DR B J Fogg. What a blast so much for leaving your aid into come talk to US addict on the construction site. What a delight and think. Well thank you for unearthing out about my background reading my way. Stay Super Fun to talk about this in this format and thank you for giving me another guest permission to really share in a detailed vulnerable kind of way. Well look we. We said we want to go to college. Won't retire. So we've we've seen this whole fucking system. Professors are coming to us. We took tiny tiny little steps in tiny habits and now the professors are coming here. So thank you so much and look forward to all the work you do in the future thinks some and now my favorite part of the show. The fact check with my soul made me Monica Batman before we start. It's March two new month. It is and we've turned over a new page on the calendar of men and it is Wab mcilhenny and he's looking very very fit. What a specimen march is going to be a good month? How's your drooping gone? So since we met last I saw neurologist and he said that if you're an adult and you have more than one seizure. They consider it epilepsy. You didn't like to hear that. I didn't like to hear that which is ironic. Because I've spent so much time feeling like I have everything and then when he tells me there is something wrong. I really thought that you're like no. I don't have epilepsy and I don't think I have but doesn't matter if I have it or I don't have it. I have to be treated as if I do like. You've had two so the chances of having another are pretty high so You need to take medication for two to five years minimally which we'll decide effects of this medicine other than your kind of groggy nece groggy nece foggy nece Pj foggy. I'm extra tired on it. Just general like out event of kind of hard to focus but it's getting better and he said there's an adjustment period so that's probably what's happening and it is slowly getting better so I am inclined to believe him that that's the case it's kind of a lot to process. I can feel some old anxiety symptoms old wings can feel some of that cropping up right. I haven't found though that you've been Like I've been around the whole time. And she got back a days now ten days something like that and you still very stimulating. Talk to in debate with. Yeah thank you. Kristen said at the hospital. Maybe your dad forgot to pay his dues on this Which is really funny anyway. The APP so that's the update for that aren't taking this medication now and living in her house or is it going the house still. It's gray you don't have to lie. No I'm not lying to you. Hate that I lived there. I love that you there. We've been trying to get you to live there for the last three years I know. So what are you talking about seizure? We were sharing. What will you don't know is only found out you had a seizure? We were cheering going. We're finally going to get her daughter to move home now. It's good. I'm starting to feel like I'm wearing out my welcome. What on Earth could make you feel that way. I don't know I just do. You have such a busy brain. I'm as part of your superpower. Seizure was the other side of the sword. Though is that what on earth all the signals were sending his were so excited to happy. You're doing well. Then what do you? How do you think you're wearing on your well? Their pooping in the house. Which makes me so happy. It's not my I've been wanting you to do for a long long time. Because that's the ultimate sign of comfort and relaxation entrust in foundational friendship l. I agree but I'm afraid. Baby steps just like B J fogg. Tiny habit tiny habits. I do feel a little bit which I think will away and I don't actually know if it's because of anything. I don't know if it's because of the medication. Or what but I kind of feel like little just like about life. Yeah yeah which. The depression and anxiety is a symptom of this medication. So I have been sort of monitoring that a little bit but it's also so hard telling of course I'm anxious. I just had a seizure. Yeah do you want me to just listen and be compassionate because I can do that? Or there's a part of me that's like we should pick up your exercise to combat side effect. I need to. I'm also scared of exercise. Are A little dangerous now. But the intensity e well. It doesn't have to be an intense workout. You can run at like five and a half miles an hour you can just trot along for a few miles. I should. I just feel a little bit nervous about doing that. Missouri in yourself. Yeah that's fair but I do need to. I didn't need to have one thing. You're honest is a depressant than we needed work extra hard in the other direction. I really doubly hard to do right now. Giving your feeling of Blah lesson I WANNA do is workout when I feel Blah. Yeah that's when you got it right Mino Anyway. That's fine listen mouse's miniature okay so bj. I I was incorporating some tiny habits. Oh tell me one was after I turn on the shower. Ooh I'M GONNA do my stretch. I stretch stretch. I'm supposed to do actually have abundant supposed to do. One is one that you've shown me alison my friend. Who'S A P T? The one that took me seriously about the paying yep. She gave me a whole bunch of stretches along time ago back stuff but one stretch. I do I'm supposed to do everyday. Is you go into a doorway and you put your hands on basically the sides of the door you open the door and put your hands on the side and then you just kind of lean through okay. So you're stretching your backpack taurel muscles. You're your shutting out your shoulders. Yeah and some supposed to do that every day and I don't okay now but I'm trying to make that a habit so after I turn on the shower. That's a good idea. Those ones feel pretty good. Don't you think if I was your? Pet Okay your big BOOBS. So I would think that you need to do a lot of back. Strengthening exercise in general to pull those shows back as you have this enormous force point them forward. That's part of it. That is part of. Why have to do that when Allison told you do that stretch? Did she tell you why she wanted you to do that? Stretch did she mention your boobs. All it was my other. Pd FRIEND GINA. Who Actually told me. Actually do of all the professions in the world. I know the most. Pt's that's interest. I would say even more than act. Wow Wow that's a close call but I do. I know so many so interesting. None of them are. Md's which obviously I need. Well you already have a personal doctor. Topol. I keep forgetting to tell Eric. Hold my update. He needs to know and I keep forgetting okay. So I'm very very tight up in the shoulders and back and all that stuff but a lot of it is boobs. Yeah very heavy sherm. Thirty percent of your body weight is your boobs are probably thirty percent. That seems extreme. I think you're probably seventy pounds in your way thirty pounds. Oh boy that's why have so much lower back problem? Got About thirty pounds of dawn. Tugging on My Hip Flexes Very Common Problem Share. Share sure sure. Sure so. I WanNa do those stretches effort on the shower or you're going to do any. I need to stretch more. So maybe maybe I'll do that too. Yeah Wow they turn on the shower. The problem is I will be honest at your house. Thou water goes quick. You better believe it does not have time to do that. Stretch you gotta get in that shower immediately. There's no time there's no time for extra anything in there. You gotta just clean quickly. And I've never washed my hair. What do you mean you've never watched your shower until recently? No I've never been there eight days and you wash your hair. I washed my house when I went home on the first day and then I washed it again when I went. I stopped by my house so I haven't washed my hair at your house because I don't think there's time what do you mean time because it gets cold. What do you mean it gets cold? It gets cold. Yeah I only never get caught. It gets to tankless hot water heater endlessly warm. It's endlessly warm in my shower. Oh my gosh what's going on. I don't know it's been getting cold but it's kind of perfect because I tend to linger in the shower phone. Yeah like to daily. And they're just think no. I just like to like feel the hot water me kind of a long long time and I like it to be pretty scalding. Okay so mother. She likes his scalding. Can't I can't do it. You can't no okay so I will say one day you guys are both gone and I did shower in your shower because I was wondering if it was going to stay hot longer. Yeah but you guys have your set you have like a knob that sets the temperature separate from the KNOB that turns it on a thermostatic valve. Yeah and I was kind of afraid to adjust that. Oh 'cause I figured you had it set to something you know she. She she cranks at nine. That's good to know because it was too cold for me. Okay and I thought maybe I would definitely blamed Kristen for that. It's your fault opposite. She loves it. Ha- I think it's bad for your skin. I love it. I think it makes your skin. Dry opens up your pores steam room. Well okay all right we gotta get those Pores Open. I suppose I'm really grateful. You guys letting me stay. We love having you. It's really nice of you to your house like that. I hope you'll stay safer a while lot. How much longer do you think I should stay for real like medically speaking? I guess I think you should just stay with us until you move into your new house personally all right but when are you out of the woods? What the neurologist say. He didn't say ask him well. He doesn't doesn't care I I mean I think I think obviously on this medicine. You're not going to have a seizure. That's what I think so. Probably you could stay at home at any time. But I don't want you to so don't don't do that. Okay let's say for another couple of months awesome not supposed to drive for a month that would be the hardest thing for me issue or not to accept and I don't even like driving is harder because I bet you me. Driving Wall. Having seizure is still ten percents than your average driver. How dare tell people what happened? What happen or they scraped the front of my car coming to get you. Yeah I did I know. Oh it's so hard it's so hard. Sorry episode the night before with the Lincoln last day of work on bless this mess. I was really excited or the Lincoln. I don't normally drive it all the way up there. I felt very cool all day long and love that car. People are complimenting. Me great-great-great driving home ninety nine left lane fucking break caliber rip-off shredded tire broke the ram. Oh my God. What a disaster to take a flatbed. I was like I was speeding home. Like I'm off work. I'm rap for the season. Let's Party when are you guys watch some fucking TV ALL CAPS and And then I'm sitting at a Mobil gas station waiting for a guy in a flatbed truck for about an hour. You know whatever I had money to get a flatbed truck. There was a lot to be grateful for but still inconvenient anyway then the next day. I scraped the front of my station. Wagons very bombed. But you know I just I just I have to have higher standards. In what some material object ruin my sense of wellbeing. You didn't know you did a good job both times. It's more is actually not the car. It's the disappointment. That I- I misjudged the height of the infallibility. Yeah that's what it is. It's the identity you got to not make that your email only okay. Bj So first of all. He's so cute. He couple days later. He sent me a spreadsheet of facts. Oh my God. That's horrible. Clearly a researcher which I loved you was it about tuition so actually no but then he said what else can I help with them and I asked about that. And then he sent the link it said so below sixty five thousand Stanford pays for housing food and maybe more. Oh that's nice so that's great. And so yeah. They didn't he said there's like a tiered system so that's good. If you AIN'T GONNA STANFORD GO GO. I wonder what the hardest like you could probably figure out what would be the hardest bracket like if your parents made one twenty five. Maybe still oh fifty. You know it's gotTa get somehow that'd be a real rough spot probably. Yeah yeah that's true. So you go to Stanford is fact one to his visit you said. The lowest rate of smoking is Utah and levels of obesity. Utah is lowest percentage of smokers. Ten point six percent California is second lowest eleven point seven percent. I believe that human members. Anyone smoke here yeah. Montana is the least obese state in the US him. Nineteen point six percent of residents qualifying as obese. That was in two thousand and thirteen. I haven't found any other than what's just really sit on that for one second. The lowest rate of obesity in the country is twenty percent. No I'm sure medically they say it's like thirty percent body. Federman be city occurs when a person's body mass index is thirty or greater BMI when your BMI is higher than thirty previously Colorado. Okay that well so mountains. Yeah outdoor lifestyle whole. They're just burning off that reducing that b. m. i. so the Stanford Prison Experiment. How exciting that he worked with us. Oh Good Zimbardo but I just. We kind of brushed over at kind of quick so I wanted to give people a little rundown of what was going on. Stanford Prison Experiment S. P. E. was a social psychology experiment that attempted to investigate the psychological effects of perceived power focusing on the struggle between prisoners and prison officers. It was conducted at Stanford on the days of August fourteenth through the Twentieth Nineteen seventy-one first of all so six seven days. That's a long time by a research. Group led by psychology. Professor Philip Zimbardo using college students in the study volunteers were assigned to be either guards or prisoners by the flip of a coin in a mock prison with Zimbardo himself serving as the superintendent. Several prisoners left mid experiment and the whole experiment was abandoned. After six days early reports on experimental results claim that students quickly embraced their assigned roles with some guards enforcing authoritarian measures and ultimately subjecting some prisoners to psychological torture while many prisoners passively accepted psychological abuse and by the officers request actively harassed other prisoners. Who tried to stop it so interesting. The experiment has been described in many introductory social psychology textbooks although some of chosen to exclude it. Because it's methodology is sometimes questioned but I think we both did it saying I think there was some physical abuse I think there was like people paid their pants. They weren't allowed to use the bathroom. There's all kinds of things fabled psychological torture at the time sitting in your yon stained garment. Let's see the experiment Europe prisoner. I'm the guard asked me if you can go. Potty can go pipe please no yon yourself okay okay. They might not understand what that man. If I was a guard. You'd be trying to like make catchphrases and Melanie. Belie series up a whole experiment like that because I would just be making jokes. The whole time probably won't be in a good mood and nothing would be learned. I wonder I wonder if you'd get power hungry a psychological tour. I don't think you need to wonder that because I am in a position to exploit my power in some way and I don't think I do long to agree on that. Well I'm just thinking pregnant. Pause talked about it. Sometimes I do feel that you don't abuse your power sometimes think you don't recognize it and then in some ways it does get pushed but not because you're doing it on purpose but because you're not paying attention to the fact that you have some that's true. I admitted to that the other day I was arguing with Director Vases. Arguing on the merit of arguments. I was failing to recognize that I did have the power in this situation as far as if someone was going to get fired. It wouldn't be me and that is power but yeah I wasn't thinking like having merit based argument right. Yeah maybe I do then I do. We all do probably okay. So the Stephen King quote that Anthony was telling me about reading reading is a creative center of a writer's life. I'd take a book with me everywhere. I go and find their all source. Opportunities to dip in the trick is to teach yourself to read and small sips as well as long swallows Chai like yeah. I like a long swallow. GonNa say that when you bummed if you couldn't predict predicting well yeah I would. I like being able to predict. Yeah makes the world feel safer when they act on predictable or it gets scary. That's true so every time I'm predictable and repetitive and Cliche you should say thank you for making me feel safe. I will thank you anyway. He's so cute any who he is very cute. I really him. I loved everything had to say. Yeah me too. I felt empowering. Yeah I like it I believe it I believe in change. You're you're the best example of that. Well thank you. I'll try to stay predictable so you feel safe. Okay okay the same voices the same phrases. I'll do it all I love you.

Stanford the Times Monica Stanford Dax Harry graduate student Stanford Behavior Design Lab partner Bj Fog Dot Com Los Angeles founder and director Stanford FDA squarespace Dr. Bj BG South Africa Utah Peru
101: 3 Keys to Changing Your Behavior & Habits

Kwik Brain with Jim Kwik

17:15 min | 2 years ago

101: 3 Keys to Changing Your Behavior & Habits

"Welcome quick, brain bite-size, brain hacks for busy people who wanna learn faster and achieve more. I'm your coach Jim quick three. Listen, if we could access one hundred percent about brains capacity. I wasn't high was acquired just clear I knew what I needed to do. And how to do it don't come through. Showman. Welcome back, quick brain. So the topic and the subject the question that was on our private Facebook group, which many of you are part of tens of thousands of people, and so many people like this question. So that's the Miami address. It today is the big one. How do you create change that lass if you want a new result in your life? You have to do a new behavior. She got to change that behavior in order to change behavior. You need a set of capacities or capabilities or beliefs. How do you go about changing that because if you want something you've never had then you've got to do something you've never done. Let me say if you want something brand new something you've never had you have to do something you've never done before. But most people can't get out of their own way. Isn't that true? They say the average person has about sixty seventy thousand thoughts day the problem is ninety to ninety five percent of those thoughts of the same thoughts. They had yesterday and the day before that and the day before that in other words, if you want something brand new you have to stop doing something old one must do something new in. In order to see something new and the best thing to do for yourself in this kind of situation. Stop saying, I wish this would change or I hope this would change because hope as we've talked about is not a strategy. You gotta take I wish and turn it into. I will no matter your age, your brain is like a muscle it grows through us through neurogenesis neuro plasticity, which we talked about through novelty and nutrition. So try something new every single day. That's why it's important if you wanna create change you have to try something brand new every single day after all we're giving this life. I given this precious life. We have one life to figure it out, and it doesn't last forever. Besides life could be extremely extremely boring. If we just stay within the lines, if we just stay within the limits of what we already know. So if you feel inspired to be able to jump start your habits your change, I invite you to look at three things I invite you to actually approach this with like, try some. Something new and most people they don't want to try something new because it's outside of their script. Right. It takes effort and energy to try something new. But if you train yourself to do this, there is huge rewards. So I recommend you do three tries number one. Try something wants to get over the fear of it. You know, so many people they wanna learn how to salsa they want to learn how to be able to juggle. They want to learn how to be able to take a cold shower, or whatever the things they wanna do. Because again, I you create your habits, and then what your habits crates you right back. So I say number one try it once just get over the fear of it. Because then you've done it. And then I was saying number to try twice to begin to learn it you begin to learn to grain. And Finally, I would say try to third time in third time is to see if you'd like it or if you love it or not usually after trying something a few times you get now. It doesn't have to be one two three. It could be try it once or twice to get over the fear of it. Try the third. Time a four time a fifth time just to kind of learn it, and then try to six seven time to be able to see if you like it, or if you love it or not does that make sense. So you don't have to know every single day. But the goal is to understand the process of doing this. Now, the real key to making change because we think about a change you wanna create it may be it's in your career. Maybe it happens to be in your relationship. Maybe it happens to be in your health. Maybe it has to do with your learning. Right. Think about one specifically, and I wanna talk about really three keys to change three keys to making lasting fast lasting change. If you will. Now, the I see I would say is consistency. Does that make sense? When you're talking about habits that we've talked about habits in the past. We've talked about it, you know, with James clear talking about atomic habits. We talked about an a past episode, which I recommend with Dr BJ fog from Stanford University talking about how to create new habits how to. Break old limiting habits. So that's very important. But the consistency is key. Whether it takes twenty one days or thirty days or sixty six days or ten thousand hours, whatever it is the power comes from repetition, so consistency. Remember, if you're persistent, you could attain it. But if you're consistent you get to keep it. So the consistency is the first key because you can't go to the gym. And then all of a sudden, you're just healthy, and you're fit and strong for the rest of your life consistency. Right. That's the first see to change the second seed change happens to be capability capability. Meaning it's the actual strategy. Use the skill if you will on how to be able to do something because you're looking to be consistent about is your capability the skill set that you're going to get and where does that usually come from it usually comes from the third C, which is challenge you get better and more capable at something the more. You challenge yourself, isn't that true? Because with challenge comes what which comes change through your struggles you develop your strengths through when you lift away. It's very difficult. There's adversity difficulty there. But when you do the heart things life gets easier when you just do the easy things in life. Life gets hard. Right. We said this before. But if you do the easy things procrastinate put things off then life gets hard. But if you do the difficult things in life like that's your routines and yourself to meditate each day getting yourself to eat. Well, getting yourself to move every single day. The things we talk about in quick brain, all these episodes, then life becomes easier because you're better is not like life got better. You got better. That's the key. But in order to do it you need to be consistent. You need the capability, and you need to be able to challenge yourself because just like lifting weights life gives you challenges and all of a sudden, maybe you get to the other side of that challenge and you're stronger because of it I mean, don't you have a ref? Prince for this in your personal life that you went through a time. That was extremely difficult. You want wish that time upon anybody? But there was a light that came from you found a strength. You found a mission you found a purpose and you develop again, a strength, and I'm talking about strength a lot. But that's how you develop fortitude. That's how you develop grit. That's how you develop cognitive strength, mental, fitness and fortitude is through challenge. So what I'm gonna do right now is I'm gonna invite you because the fourth see if you will consistency capability and challenge that brings all those three things together as having a coach, and I'm honored to be your brain coach because I'm gonna here to help you become consistent to give you the capabilities and also the challenge you because a coach gets you to do one more lap around the track. They get you to do one more set or one more repetition. They challenge you because they coach knows that when they push you that you're going to grow stronger because of it so what we're doing right? Right now with quick brain is recruiting a quick challenge. A quick brain challenge. If you will and these are for people who want to level up, and there's no cost there's no fee to get involved. But I want to really talk to the people right now who ready to make a real change that maybe you've heard past episodes before from past guests or maybe it's myself. And I say, hey, now, it's time to make new change to journal or do a meditative process or maybe it's to move and work out because as your body moves your brain, or maybe they make brainpower smoothie or brain tea or to be able to read thirty minutes a day. Well, we're going to do every single week is I'm gonna give you a brand new challenge. Ten plus challenges and each one is going to help develop this habit of creating brand new habits, and I'm going to challenge you to be consistent. I'm gonna give you that capability because we've done a lot of episodes on these habits in the past. And I'm going to challenge you to take things in the next level. Now, this isn't for everybody. Is really for people who wanna take knowledge and turn it into power because we talked about knowledge is not power. It's only potential power only becomes power. When what when you utilize it when you apply because all the books, all the audios all the coaching programs all the online programs all the podcast. None of it works until you work. So this is my challenge to you. And we have people listening in from all around the world and one hundred eighty plus countries in social media, people are engaging our podcast on our YouTube and Facebook and Instagram all around the world, but together we can make big changes. And but it starts by making little changes because consistency compounds consistency compounds a little by little a little becomes a whole lot. And so what we're doing is. If you go to quick challenge dot com kwh challenge dot com. You could go there, and what you're gonna get there is every single week. I'm going to give you a brand new challenge. I'm going to talk about something that's gonna enhance your men. Cognitive function. Tell PB come a stronger in lead mental performer to help you become more productive. Have you help you to have more peace of mind, and positively and your mindset if you will little things that you could practice, and I'm going to challenge you do that one thing for that week. And so if you want to join us on this movement, if you will this movement of challenge, go to quick challenge dot com. It's absolutely free. And what I'll do is every single week give you a brand new challenge. And not only that I'll give you a little bit of motivation. Also as well because that's what a coach does, you know, they cheerlead for you. They encourage you. They do the best. They can do inspire you. But you have to do the work, right? I'm gonna give you one hundred percent. But I have to ask also that you give yourself a hundred percent. But here's the good news. I'm gonna make it very simple for you. You know, every they were talk about things we've talked about previous episodes about brushing your teeth with the opposite hand and remembering somebody's name and. Learning how to juggle these things, and we go through a little bit about the science to show you the why you want to stick with this challenge. And then I'm you some motivation and some messages along the way to keep you consistent and on track is that fair. So again, go to quick challenge. K W K challenge dot com and then go enter that. And the new be reminded every single week a new challenge and motivation to keep you on track again. And then what I want you to do as part of your accountability is two things. I want the proof because here's the thing. It's not about saying it to other people. It's about showing them. It's not about promising people. It's about proving it, and how are you going to prove them be accountable is you're gonna take a screen shot during this challenge every single week by asking, for example to write your gratitude or ask you to read thirty minutes a day, you're going to take a picture of the thing that I'm asking you to do and post it, and then the hashtag remember is quick challenge. K K challenge. And yes, there'll be some fun unannounced, prizes and gifts and contests. Along the way many of you know, we do these challenges with our our hashtag one book a week where we give out Amazon gift cards every week and my favorite books that I'm reading so we're going to do all that. But basically, we're turn student community effort because the good news is you're not alone and change doesn't have to be difficult. It's little things again that add up to big things little things done consistently become big things in a long run because again consistency compounds. So the first thing I want you to do after you enter go to quick challenge dot com and be part of this and get the the future challenges and the motivation. The second thing again is taking a screen shot of the proof of every challenge. And then I'm going to reach share and re tweet and repos some of my favorite, and we're gonna have some price price gifts. And then finally the third thing I would say get a challenge, buddy. Because we know that people stick with something better, especially when it comes to learning when they have a book club, if you will or when we do these memory trainings that we teach whether it's teaching people. To memorize scripts or foreign languages anything in between when they have somebody to practice with. They're more likely to fulfil and be countable somebody else, and I know that makes sense to you. So I want you to do is recruit a good friend or family member work associates somebody on your team to do this with or maybe a group of you do the hashtag quick challenge. If you will every single week with us. So that way, you could make changes, and I promise you the end benefit is. Yes, you're going to get have better focus and remember names and do all these things better. But the most important thing I really feel like you're gonna get out of this is you're going to become a master of change. You're going to be able to follow through when you want to make new change in your life. You'll have momentum's began you'll have references because for me every single month. I like to learn something new if not every single week every single month. I have you'd have your to do list. Right. And I also have to learn list, and I feel like the longest living people are people who are committed to lifelong learning. I talk about the research. Behind this add years to your life and life tear years the let's do this together. And let's turn you to a master of change. So when you need to have more confidence or you wanna learn new skill because you're switching careers or your one to go to graduate school or learn a new subject or new language, whatever it is you go through it. Because even if you don't have the competency, you have the confidence because you're like man, look at all these things or x amount of weeks that I've already learned and jump starting. My habits and learned how to learn to change new things. Right. Change, your brain change, your what change your life, change your life. We could change the world. So go to quick challenge dot com. All the details are their share with your friend, hashtag quick challenge. Take a screen shot of this episode or picture of this video posted and say, I'm in do that. That's like a proclamation a public affirmation if you will saying that you're going to do this. Join me take a screen shot. Put the hashtag tag me in it and say, Jim I'm in and who else is with me. And then we'll do this all together create this massive movement of change. Because again, if you want life to be better, we need to be better. But it's not as hard. You think little by little little becomes a lot. Thank you for watching listening episode. I can't wait to do this challenge with you over the next few weeks. Life will never be the same. And certainly never you're learning either. I'll see you soon. Want to double your brain speed and memory power if you'd like to learn rapidly and get ahead faster. I'd like to give you my brand new quick brain exceleron or program. You will. Discover exactly what I teach my clients to learn read and remember anything in half the time. There is no charge is my gift to you for being one of our subscribers. That's K W. I k brain dot com or simply text the word podcast two nine one six eight to two seventy two forty six and we'll send you a direct link. That's nine one six eighty to bring growing up struggling with learning challenges from childhood brain injury. It's been my life's mission help you have your very best brain. So you could win more every single day. Now, one more quick brain here were four ways to fast track your results and lock in which you've just learned into your long term memory. Remember fast, F A S T the F stands for Facebook. You're not alone. On this journey. I invite you to join our free private online group there. You can connect with me, your fellow brain lovers links to resources and even symmetric questions for me to answer in future episodes, go to wick brain dot com. That's K W. I K brain dot com. The a stands for apply hacked on. What you learn today. Remember knowledge is not power its potential power. It only becomes power when you use it so use what you just learned the S stands for subscribe. Don't miss the next episode and other free brain training. And finally the t stands for teach you wanna learn faster. Now, the keys to lock it in right away by teaching it to someone else when you teach something you get to learn at twice. Here's a simple way to do that leave a review on I tunes lever view with your biggest takeaway from this episode. You could also post and share this podcast on your social media. It helps us spread our mission building better, brighter brains, and of course. Tag us. So our team could properly. Thank you, hashtag quick brain K W. I k brain mine is at Jim quick K W. I k on Instagram Facebook and Twitter. So what does fast and for Facebook apply? Subscribe teach. I'll see you in our next episode of quick brain until then remember, you are faster and smarter than you think.

Facebook Jim quick Miami Stanford University dot James Twitter Dr BJ Jim Amazon Jim I YouTube Instagram one hundred percent thirty minutes ninety five percent ten thousand hours hundred percent twenty one days
The Scho Bro Show, Part 1: Can the Steelers cope with their recent player losses?

Behind the Steel Curtain

31:39 min | 6 months ago

The Scho Bro Show, Part 1: Can the Steelers cope with their recent player losses?

"Support for this. Podcast comes from progressive. What would you do with an extra eight hundred dollars. Buy a plane ticket. Pay down your student loan. Treat yourself to those shoes. You benign with progressive. You could find out drivers who switch and save save an average of seven hundred ninety six dollars on car insurance get your quote online at progressive dot com and see how much you can be saving national average annual car insurance savings by new customer survey to save with progressive in two thousand nineteen pittsburgh steeler fans. Welcome to another episode of the sco. Bro show. this is behind the curtain co editor. Dave scofield coming at you again just after nine o'clock on a tuesday. It's always here at this time doing this thing with the same company. My big brother rich rich. How are you doing tonight. it's about time to breathe in that smell a free agents of yeah yet. We're hearing that smell of back. The football action. Yeah i know what you mean. It's this is going to shape the steelers twenty twenty one season as much as anything right now and right now. Okay we might be in the situation where it's darkest before the dawn right now. We're we're kind of in mourning of some of the players some of our players we've lost and things of that and that's what we're going to spend this show doing tonight. We're going to be talking about what thought about this year's not not not morning though not morning. We're gonna be talking about what's happened we've talked. We're gonna talk about the losses. We're gonna talk about the gains. We're going to talk about what this means with other stuff. It's just how it goes right now because we're in that legal tampering period. Technically under these deals are official. Because they can't be until wednesday at four pm when the new league year kicks in. But this is what i mean. I try sitting there to signature either either the signature go or it just has to be at four o'clock here you go league office. Here's the contract it exactly. I'm trying to remember. I don't follow the nba. At all. but i remember a few years ago. it was a center. And i'm thinking it was for the clippers or somebody that i think the mavericks were going to sign away and eat agreed to it and then some of the player showed up to his house. Wouldn't lee did leave with them until he changed his mind and came back and sign the deal with that. Is kurt remember andre jordan. Oh that's the name. It was donder. Join c. i don't follow the nba nba. But i remember that story that they went into a whole lot but that was a big. That was a big time story going on. So i was coming. Yeah so now they now. They haven't had that in the nfl but the other thing is do you remember when they used to mean it's funny. We're in the legal tampering period. Right now which means before noon on monday it was the illegal tapering period. Which is what was happening anyway which lets us to have it all the time before. They just made it legal for for a little bit more than two days. I guess fifty two hours. I guess it would be starts at noon on monday. But do you ever win. Free agency used to start at midnight. Yes i remember that that. All gosh the reason. I remember is over arching case since you've been working for behind the steel curtain exactly exactly but i'm your you love this story because it for everyone who's ever been a part of our show before which of here live chat and everything that you know how we end the show so it's going to involve the end of the show if you know what i mean. Because it was when rex ryan was hired as the head coach of the jets. He had been the defensive coordinator of the ravens. My right getting this right. Yes and he shows up at midnight in the driveway. Of one bart scott's in order to sign him as as a free agent admitted he's waiting outside his house at midnight for the stroke of midnight to decide him to his new team of the new york jets. Like that's just crazy. I'm kinda glad that don't do it that way anymore. But but but I guess. I guess he really couldn't wait. So sorry but i i remember that so this is interesting. How how this is all go but before we get started and die then. I've got to give a hard time to one brian. Anthony davis podcast producer. Biden's steel curtain. Because thank you. I see thaddeus is in the live chat. Thank you for for typically off. I was not unable to To to catch why can't remember their show the hangover last night but apparently i was quoted saying something that i have never said but davis and i'm like an fatty. It's emailed me this morning. I wake up to an email from daddy is saying hey. Brian said that you said this. And i didn't think it was right. But because you set it up it was about the biggest or sorry the first big signing the steelers had in free agency was actually kevin colbert in that. He had a new contract and brian quoted. As saying that colbert's contract was was finishing up at the beginning of the league year. And that's not the case because when it comes to the gm the contract runs through the draft because that would be a nightmare to say. Oh we got to bring a new. Gm as we are halfway through our draft prep or or are there through so that was just something like i'll on the show tonight contracts and after the super bowl your gm contracts and after the draft after the draft and and it might have been the. Brian remember denied said it but he couldn't remember when it was the league year versus the draft. But yeah they still had some time to get that done with colbert. But it's it's good to know he's hold on. We got one of the broke out. That is here. Yeah that's apple. Taylor wasn't tattling thaddeus honestly wanted to know if that was the case. That's what he was asking and i said no. His contract ran through the draft. He's like that's what i thought so So yeah. And i don't mind people email me and ask me questions. I really don't i actually. I'm gonna say it here. I'm always looking for questions for the steelers. Podcast airs on thursday mornings already. Have one that i'm working through. It is a good one. I'll tease it for those out there. It's about the steelers and how many points surrendered their last three playoff games and how that falls in. Nfl history of asked us questions that have turned into entire shows. Exactly exactly. that's why. I'm always asking for stat. Geeky questions yeah that show. So that's why i always encouraging people email me tap. Hit me on twitter as you can see here on the screen if you're here watching live on youtube or facebook or my twitter is stl are superfan. Dad and my email was. Just you add edgy dot com to that and it's the email because i'm always looking for stats questions for for that show because it's driven by questions that's what i wanna do. I could just throw out a bunch of random stats. But i really wanna know what you all wanna now so was just something to clarify. Because that was the steelers first big move that they made so let's dive into what's transpired so far with the steelers because we're sitting here in the midst of a very interesting period of the season so we might as well just focus the whole show on. That is the way i look at it. And that is who the steelers have gain who. They've lost how they're going to handle the situation. And what kind of shape they in even when it comes to the salary cap. So we'll start off. So we hit kevin colbert. We can talk about locally. He doesn't count against the cash he doesn't count against the can there. There was two more signings before free agency kickoff officially because you can sign street free agents and he taught meaning a player that was cut by the team so the steelers they did not give a restricted free agent tender. Ray ray mcleod but they signed into a one year deal Then the steelers also signed center slash. Dr bj finney. Brian's bring him back pants so we gotta deal with this voting me was to wear them for the show on sunday. And then i slept through the show sunday and didn't haven't gone back to what Brian i hope you were wearing the pants. Were supposed to yep and celebration. So that's that's what the steelers did before it all started so you had those players come and not counting their their contracts because the numbers weren't out at the time it actually finished number still now the steelers were going into free agency with a bright around six million dollars on salary cap. Then your had monday boy did it. Come boom boom boom quick and that was no sooner. Well first of all you've got we have the camp sutton news that the steelers signed camp sutton to a two year contract. It's basically the way i look at it. And i'm curious how you what you think about it. It's basically a good deal for the steelers this year and then you have the opportunity to extend next year based on how everything plays out this year. Did you kind of get a Because we're gonna apply this to another one later on but yeah yes the. They've got that option but it's also even if they just let it wanted to just play it out next year. It's not crippling neither. But yes i consider you know some of the stuff we have coming off the cap. Yes so so. That was that was that was cam sutton's and and his deal ended up being. It was two years nine million dollars but when it came to the salary cap it was. I'm trying to remember. So i'm going to actually have a what i i remember it. So one million base one million base salary for the first year and four and a half for the second year because it was the immense three and a half because it was yeah it was one million base three and a half signing bonus to the four and a half for this year and then four and a half just as the base for next year which means that sea. I'm all my numbers running together from all the other ones. I've been looking at so yeah you're right so it's two point seven five million against the cap this year. I remember this now. Because i just because i this article today because of the two point seven five it was two point nine million that that actually the cap because of displacement right so now if you don't understand what we're talking about from displacement well first of all explain this all in an article at behind the curtain dot com your one-stop wait a minute. Let me it really fast instead of fifty one guys cap towards the cat and the signs in the off season when you re signed camp sutton. He goes into one of those fifty one slots a number fifty one gets bumped off the end. So it's the difference between his number and the guy that bumped off the end that's the actual increase to the cabinet. That is correct. That is how all works with. Displacement you are you are spot on brother so there you had that just over two million dollars taken off of that off of that cap. Then ray ray mcleod's numbers came in there and hit with his his deal supposed to be a million dollars which means his. His replacement was three hundred and forty k. So i had the steelers sitting you know a little bit more under the salary cap then what others were reporting the day. So that's why did an article about it because there was conflicting reports with how much the steelers had with the salary cap. But then that'll change but that's beside the point. Then you had the steelers first free agent loss and then instantly within minutes. It was another one so much so we only one article with it on the website. Because they happen so fast and that was signing of bud dupree titans and matt feiler to the thoughts on this. Look let me just say this. I actually was watching and saw duprey wind break and my thought was but he got his money. I mean he's getting sixteen point five million average per year over four years five. There's violence there's whatever. Was it five years ago right warriors. Whatever it is. I was just like steelers. Weren't gonna be able to gain near that. You know he he. He deserves and now now but now he's going to be expected. Earn that money and the next now what you know how pro football focus has always been anti bud dupree because they come out and say about how that was the most you know the worst contract signed on the opening day completely ever paid and just so you all know teases little bit avenue article tomorrow for the website looking at the steelers losses now already where they line up when it comes to the compensatory formula for twenty twenty two already have that with were with where the player losses or projected. What did you think about matt. Feiler what did you think about. Did you think he was someone. The steelers might have brought back. I thought maybe but what did he end up with. The was like seven million million. It was three years. Twenty one million. Total seven million season seven million here. I thought that was. I thought that was pretty high. Yeah i did too but honestly if you wanna play more if you look at what file was doing right if you're playing your tackle. If he plays attack when plays well you got a decent price on him if you don't play him attack. I think you probably overpaid for him. But that will be up to see. What the chargers wanna do with it. And just so you know sean I see you're you're super tat. We're going to get to it when we get that far so yup so that that was day one for the steelers gained sutton which how did you feel. Did i mean. I don't think. I didn't think they were going to be able to afford hilton. And i was like if you get sutton for that. At least he can do different things and yeah. That played out exactly the way i talked about it on the show a couple of weeks ago. Yeah it really did You know they did what they need to do. They they said if you got to resign. One i said you gotta take care of hilton or of sutton's first because he gives you the the lack of a better term versatility. Yes that happened. And then i was like then it will just come down to. What is someone. Yeah hilton's going to probably test the market a little more and see what someone's willing to give it. So yeah. yeah so that was. That was kind of summed up day one and then there was some kind of interesting things floating around a cryptic tweet from vince. Williams zach banner. Getting back on social media which would meant that. Something was coming there. So that's those were the things. You're kind of waiting to see on today tuesday but the next one was the one that really surprised me to me. It was the most surprising thing of the mom was the most unexpected of any moves involvement involving the steelers so far and that was the loss of tyson. Aloe out really surprised by that one. It wasn't so much the loss as that. When i look that the deal that he got i would have thought that. The steelers could have competed with that deal. Yeah i do want to say that. It was a total surprise. Because i knew he was going to go out and test the market but then he he took a deal that i was like wait. A minute to steelers. Didn't come up with that. But you know he's gone back to jacksonville. that's where he started as he does. He have a love of jacksonville. Yeah which i don't. I wouldn't blame him. I would say this. He does have an advantage of being in jacksonville. What's his what's what's the advantage of being in jacksonville. I'm trying to actually makes the deal. Sweeter than what feelers. If the steelers offered up by the the the state taxes in florida isn't there is there but what state taxes in florida. Exactly isn't isn't that the there's no nice correct payroll tax in florida. Yeah so go in there. You actually save money by all that other stuff so which is written which is kind of i mean. It's kind of sad. You gotta realize though. That wallo was other than ben roethlisberger. Here's the owner plant oldest play on the team well once the steelers cut colquitt partway through the season. Up there too. But you're panoramic shouldn't count for that. So that was the question. Do you wanna bring back. You know he has. I think he had. I thought he had the best of his career last year and everything but at the same time maybe going back to jacksonville. He'll see more. Maybe you'll see more playing time than he will as in pittsburgh just because of how little the us the most alkyl. But that's a position that the steelers are going to have to address way or the other unless they wanna roll with bugs and davis which they very well could do. Let those guys fight it out. Let them fight it out on the field and everything and then not long after that there was the news and this was a rumor that had had come up last night in the middle of Michael beck recording his live mike and he had to go back and start over because of some of the stuff he said. But it didn't come all the way out until today and that was mike helton's signing signing with the bengals killing was going kind of the went there because we've talked about it a bunch. Mike hilton is a very good slot corner. When used properly. If you think you're just gonna put him in the slot and say okay. Go stop play our slot the way we do it. Yeah then he's going to be set up to fail and honestly. Do you really trust the bengals to use my killed. In the way that's gonna make mike. Helton thrive does. I'm glad he got his money. Well would tell you though. is this like jag. yes yeah it's it's very interesting to see him. Go to the bengals because you're like. Oh wow the steelers are going to have to go up against him twice a year. Yeah i mean. I hope he does well. I hope it works for them. But yeah i honestly i don't really know that cincinnati going to let mike helton be the mike hilton that he can be. Okay so we're almost through this. The steelers side zach. Banner that become more more than i thought there might be just the one year deal like last year and other kind of deal but he he won the job last year. He just got hurt right away. So the steelers lose one player coming off the injury. They sign one of their former players coming off of an aco injury banners deal was. What was reported. I to go back and change the numbers when it was when it was finally i was given a more thorough report and that is it was nine point but let me make sure your rights nine nine point seven seven five million dollars for two years. It was three point two five million signing bonus and then a one point five to five million salary this year. Five million dollar salary next year so that means that his salary cap number. This year is three point. One five million And next year. Let's say it doesn't work out for the steelers. Five million out of the less than ten million dollars is his base salary next year. Which means that's all that's all cabinet so that would be. It's it is a two year deal but it still kind of prove Steelers have the have the wiggle room for. It can still be approved deal. Yes exactly mike. Yes and then just to to bring up the rest of the news. Which bring sean cheaper chat. What y'all to loss loss of innovative itchy. Were sean puts five dollars a tip jar and says losing the fact of our allahu benny. Bvt and hilton kills are run defense. You know what. I don't know if i'd use the word kill. The word i'd use there is They might have some work to do the way. I'm going to phrase it kind of the way. Jeffrey benedict did as he's like. It's going to make them change their run defense philosophy because have you know while it was to me. He's the different entity. When you're talking vince williams and mike hilton and this might be something. Jeffrey talks about tomorrow night. I don't know if they're gonna get you talked about this on the curtain call or not but he said that once the steelers lost mike hilton. They kind of almost didn't have a need for vince. Williams anymore okay. In basically saying that you're going to have to change how you play your defense and how you're how you know having camp sutton is your slot corner changes up. You know how how you're doing. Very i wish i could sum up the way that that he said it but he was saying he was not surprised by them. Moving on for vince williams. Because they're basically not going to be able to run their defense. It's not going to be worse. Is just not going to be the same k. so and the rain from a schematic standpoint. And then the question was ultimately going to be with the steelers better off with bush spelane than they were with bush williams and if so why are you paying so much money for williams when the steelers by releasing him they say four million dollars on the salary cap zakheim. I'm away you're thinking about it. yeah i was. Yeah and i'm still not against if you got the right guy there. Twenty three twenty four twenty four michael jordan on the brain there. Yeah when you get the steelers pick if the right guys there you want to. She'll like oh my gosh this is the guy we gotta get in with devin bush and then you feel good about doing it. Yeah we've been talking about this for michael beck was first on this. One shannon was all over this. I've been all wherever this convinced brian. Anthony davis of this. We are all on the zaven college train. That's the lunberg backer out of tulsa. I did this and what's funny. Is michael beck share to share graphic about how he accord a pro football focus. He had the best coverage score of a linebacker in college since two thousand fourteen. I can't remember who that player was. So and i'm like but what's funny because when i when i had him as when i did the profile of information draft monday. It wasn't yesterday monday. It was the week before. I had some people saying. Oh he's a liability coverage no. He's not he's like the best coverage linebacker they'd see them college in almost a decade. so he's he's a player out of this. Just a playmaker playmaker. But and i know okay i. To bring marquis de says vinci's leadership will be missed. Yes it will. Well he yeah. He's been a veteran presence in the middle of the field however next year devin bushes in year. Three does devin. Bush become more of that veteran leadership in the middle of the field. We'll see exactly exactly and andrew brings up. His explain is is good enough. Do not need to take one in round one. I'm gonna vote me. But here's i've said this with a lot of other things and that is how many times we mentioned a player not a player. A position at the steelers are going to look to draft but then the answer was but not in round one you know. That's kinda how i feel about. Running back is like the running back position regardless of player is just so difficult to take around one anymore in the nfl center ever was a gotta go with the center. None of the centers diet twenty four. I'd really wanna center but not in rent one so you look at all these not in round one not in round one and i'm like the steelers are going to do something something different in round one and almost don't want to get into this before the break. I'm not going to a shot. And then i'm gonna tell you what i'm going to get into what we're going to get it in the second half year. I'm gonna bring up. But sean throws another five dollars tip jar. Thank you sean. He's just can we bring back. Levonne kirkland you. Know what i love. You didn't love avant kirk just the. Nfl is playing so different anymore. And the more. I was thinking about it. I would say this brian. Anthony davis last thursday. Unlike the steelers went out and got another you know devon bush and inside linebacker and basically ran their defense through having speed coverage all this other stuff. I mean it could change everything that they do it it could. It could take everything next level. So i don't know that. Lavar in kirkland. How do you think of all kirkland you this before we go into break. How do you think von kirkland would would play out in today's nfl. How are you remember but levant. Avant kirkland was faster than what you thought he was that was just because he was so big you just didn't realize he had. I mean he was to the line to linebacker position. Like your own best ones to the running back position like you know jerome bettis had those those kind of quick feet in that kind of that quick shower or whatever. Lavar kirkland was like that at at a size at linebacker. I'd say this Kirkwood he'd find a way to make a work. Yeah i just. I thought that much of and i still do and that guy. He'd found a way he'd found a place for himself in the league. Even though it's a little different than when he was playing. Yeah exactly. And i mean it's funny. Because that's what saying vince. Williams is a player. Love one was more quick than he was fast. What melvin. i kind of agree with you there. Which made him not a huge liability in coverage when he was having to cover tight ends across the middle. And things like that. I i would say lavar kirkland. I wouldn't say vince williams. I don't want him. Cover an an eric ebron type tied and you know running down running long down the scene. Yeah i couldn't do that. But a lot of people said vince williams would have been better off playing in the nfl. Ten years prior to them when he was before. Row out It's funny because i said that about david collins and steelers pittsburgh says the oracle was quoted. Saying don't fall in love with the draft player before it drafted absolutely. I'm intrigued by him and i'm doing. Follow them to try to take my own advice. So we're gonna thing quick break. I'm gonna come when we come back. I'm gonna throw my idea to to you. Get your thoughts. About what the steelers were. they sitting out with. What they've lost and looking into this coming up coming drafts. I'm gonna give you two sides of the story about how the steelers need to go into this draft. Phyllis or how the steelers will go into this draft philosophically at how. It's actually going to play out when it comes to the twenty twenty one season. So we'll talk about that. We'll talk more about the the Reminiscent some of these players. Lost in how the steelers are going to continue with free agency and we're going to open it up a little bit more to the live chat when when we come back. Your listing on the audio side. Go and the partout here with us on youtube or facebook will be back in just a few seconds.

steelers kevin colbert sutton bud dupree nba Brian Dave scofield thaddeus andre jordan jacksonville mike hilton colbert Michael beck new york jets nfl Anthony davis Ray ray mcleod Dr bj finney
Dr. BJ Miller & Shoshana Berger: ...how to live life and face death

Nobody Told Me!

26:21 min | 2 years ago

Dr. BJ Miller & Shoshana Berger: ...how to live life and face death

"Welcome to nobody told me I'm Jan black too. I'm Laura Owens. Death is not an easy subject to talk about but it's a fact of life we will all die someday and between now and then we'll have family and friends who will die. So how can we help those close to us who are facing death breath and how can we best prepare for our own lives to end. We'll explore those questions on this episode with Dr B._J.. Miller and Shoshana Berger who are the CO authors of the book a beginner's guide to the end practical advice for living life and and facing death. It's described as the first ever practical compassionate and comprehensive guide to dying and living fully until you do Dr Miller is an assistant clinical professor of medicine at the University of California at San Francisco where he practices practices and teaches palliative medicine. He has his own serious brush with death to talk about as well because of an accident that occurred when he was in college it resulted in the amputation of one arm below the elbow and both legs below the knees. Please Shoshana is the global editorial director at Ideo where she has worked on end of life projects and was a caregiver during her father's five year decline with an incurable illness B._J.. Shoshana thank you so much for joining us today. Hey thanks for letting us tell us a little bit about your background in why you guys decided to write this book together sure Sean and I met a couple of different angles working on this subject one way or another at idea and we had a bunch of experiences appearances together there. We got to know each other a little bit and got to explore the subject pre open-endedly and Shana brought up the idea of writing a book together. It was a pretty quick easy yes because I knew the world needed a book like this and it felt right to work with Sean on both because just the way we are together but also the yeah yeah that one of us is a clinician. The other is not and it seemed important to have a foot in healthcare in one big foot outside of it too so all together. That's what kind kind of encouraged me to say yes to this project and she shot A. Why did you feel such a project was needed? I had a personal reason to start which is I wrote this book because my father and stepfather died within a year of each other one with dementia and the after with cancer and I was involuntarily enrolled in a crash course in illness and death and other than showing up I really had no idea how to be a good caregiver how to help them navigate healthcare and insurance a. and so even what questions to ask them about what they wanted. Their remaining lives to look like which is a really sensitive and delicate question. I'm also mom and when I was pregnant I like everyone else. In the world read what to expect when you're expecting that Bible uh-huh of pregnancy for expectant families it's so like five hundred million copies and you know walks us through this huge life experience and I thought why don't we have a guidebook for this equally profound time at the end of life and then of course I met D._J.. who had a really bold and beautiful vision for how we could use the fact that we die as a foil to help us make the lives that we have more meaningful as a journalist and designer China's B._J.? Tedtalk and I helped him with it and then I said to him. I really wish this wasn't the case because I know how painful it is to write a book but I think we have to write a book and thankfully you said Yes we wanted to ask you B._J.. About that Ted talk doc which has had more than ten million views and it was titled What Really Matters At the end of life so what does really matter at the end of life. What have you found interestingly like that? That was not the title. I've suggested it showed up there and really we're going to do that again. I would put a question mark at the end of that. 'cause this is extremely subjective. Question and each of us needs to think of it for ourselves but but that disclaimer I can say that. In general most people I work with and data bears this out across the field of hospice care that most people you know they want to know that the people they love are going to be okay. They WanNa have some sense that they're not not gonNA suffer too much. They WanNa leave things in a good place for their family and they want to know that their relationship to God into the Cosmos is in line about that kind of stuff not not they're not generally. They're not very clinical goals in nature they're much more sort of humanitarian bowls and that that plays out all the time. I see that all over the place. That's how that's generally how it goes. What misconceptions do you think we have about death and dying well one of them is I laughed because it's going to sound absurd but it just kinda true? If you walked around the halls of a hospital particular if you just drove around town and looked at billboards et Cetera I mean all the cues that we send each other even in medicine. Maybe even especially in medicine Kinda leave you wondering if death was optional you know if I if I follow the rules if I'm a good person I think positive thoughts and he'd spinach you know then yeah sounds like I can live forever and and that is the kind of the presumption. It's it can be crazy making you as a clinician in the hospital you know the original title of the Tedtalk was not whether but how like let's get past this kind of question of whether we die and get to the more important stuff like how are we going to die. And how are we gonna live until we do so until Nancy question. The first misconception is yes in fact we do guy and we need to digest that in full that into our percents a reality other than that big existential frame. I think a lot of people presume that you just have to suffer that death is necessarily awful and miserable making and in fact it is not generally easy and we do not want to sugarcoat got it for accidentally set people up to under plan for the end of life but the idea is yeah yeah. There's GonNa be some heartache and there's GonNa be some hard stuff but the idea that most of his picture. This sort of brutal ending is just not necessarily the case. There's so much that it can be done to push back on symptoms and if you have enough support you can get to honest open conversations with people you love and if you can't find closer you can at least address the things on your mind and you can say your goodbyes etc so I guess in short this misconceptions conceptions dying does not have to be quite as miserable as we fear it to be. There is a study done at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill that I thought was really interesting and it said that the closer you are to dying the more positive of an outlook you have on. It and I'm wondering why you guys think that is in. What are the changes that occur in our mindset you know if you can think in your own life of where you've had something in the future that you know or you think is going to be hard but it's an exam or whatever it is and most of us will imagine that thing to be worse than it actually is when you're living and so I think part of the reason for this answer is that when you actually in those shoes you Kinda I think many people realize their fears were misplaced and it's not as horrible as they were imagining so I think I think that's one piece of it but then another piece of it is what Shoshana I found working on? This book and I see clinically is that once you do turn your attention attention to your finite nature the fact that you are only here for certain amount of time and show said that is an amazing foil for beauty humor all sorts of good things in my quote them a good things in my to pop really stand out and so if you realize early so many more weekends in your life well maybe you will use those weekends a little better. It'd be a little bit more thoughtful. How you spend your time? Maybe you will get a little bit better at letting go of things that on such a big deal and maybe get a little bit better at realizing they were all in this boat together and maybe it'll be a little kinder to yourself others and maybe forgiveness. We'll come a little more easy so in other words. Turn your attention to your mortality. It's not the morose thing you think it's. It'd be in fact it often has a side effect of making life sweeter along the way that you suggest that we have a win. I di- file that's one of the recommendations you have in the book in fact. I think it's one of the first things that you talk about. What should be? I'm that I'm so glad you asked that question. I think it's one of the most important pieces of advice we give them the book and it's because you know we just leave our families so unprepared to deal with the fallout note of shutting down our lives after we go and I dealt with this with my father's accounts and a state for I'd say two years after he died so what should go in there is of course you're willing trust and if you haven't got those done and you have a family and some property and stuff like that that's pretty essential especially if you have kids because one of the essential things you do in making up a trust is to identify who will take care of your kids if they're young and and you pass away so those things are essential and then of course we accumulate millions of different passwords ask moved through life now so it's pretty essential to share the accounts you have in your passwords so that people know how to access your account and they don't have to do a ton of sleuthing anyone knows who's called their Internet that provider or cellular phone service <hes> the pain and suffering of working through a million different phone trees to actually get to someone who can help you <hes> change the ownership of the counter shutdown and account will convince you that you should do this and then there's all of the the stuff that is softer stuff that you may not think of but that can be so meaningful to the people who loved you. Which is you know recipes that you loved and uncooked all the time for the family or a poem or piece of artwork or even a letter to the people? You loved just telling them what <hes> what you wanted to say to them what they what you hope that they'll carry we forward so there's a lot of put in there. You can read more in the book. I'm in my twenties and this whole topic is really difficult for me to think about. I really haven't thought about it much so windy. You suggest that people people start to create an advanced care plan and a will and funeral plans. When did that start well? The honest truth is that the moment you turn eighteen gene and are illegal adult. You should have an advance health care directive and I'll tell you the reason for that when you turn eighteen your parents and or your loved ones no longer have access to your your medical records because of privacy laws so if something happens to you they have no real right to ask about your medical records <hes> so unless you have an advance directive and say this person as my healthcare agent and I want them to know I want them to have access they won't so that's a really important thing to just get done when you turn eighteen which I know feels early but <hes> as our friends just on uncle later so that it always feels feels too early until it's too late and then in terms of a will and trust I think the national less like a moment for that is when you have a family of your own and you're thinking about who might be a good caretaker for your kids if you're not around and and how you and your partner are thinking about your own lives as you age and thinking about who you want to hand your stuff down Q. B._J.. You've talked with so many people at the end of their lives and I wondering what they shared with you about the things that they had to cope with in terms of telling family friends and Co workers that the end was near and what advice you could pass on for other people along those lines lines yeah well. It was pretty darn common for that to be a hard conversation less because the person who's actually doing the dying has hang-ups then everyone else has hangups so very often. That person will get shut down one way or another. You know their family or friends say oh you know we don't even think about that or no. You know some way or another. They'll find some way to squirm out of it and the crazy making piece of it. It's usually the audience audience person will make the ill person the dying person feel like I it can be really isolating like they'll make it sound like it's you know they're trying to keep your attitude good they. They're trying to encourage you but it's really their own fears that you're coming up against and that sort of projection and happens all the time around vulnerability disability death etc because this remains taboo because we're unpracticed at we remain uncomfortable at it that we remain on examined at it and so we accidentally isolate the sick person with our own defenses so I guess the question I would be prepared to come across some surf surprising responses in people and my advice always with patients is be careful because they see you can walk away from these conversations feeling crazy or sad yourself of course be careful not confused there hangups with your own so you know in terms of coaching coaching someone through that you just have to be prepared to kind of push a little bit and make it clear that you the dying person wants to talk about this or you the sick person are you the well person who just needs to prepare be prepared for projections and be prepared to push a little bit and you Austin will be the vulnerable one are GonNA end up being the one who's counseling others who are less comfortable than you eat out being with someone on their death bed. I think is just such a tremendous gift in it's just unlike anything else that you experience in life as I mentioned when when my own mother died we didn't have a lot of time left with her. She became suddenly very ill and I was quickly looking on the Internet. For what do you need to know with someone who's on their deathbed. I bet and obviously if your book had been around in two thousand eleven when I was confronted with this I could've looked at that but what are some of the things that you would say to help. Prepare someone for being with someone on their death bed. One of the things that I heard is is that for example the person's hearing the last thing to go so that even if they seem to be completely out of it they may still be able to hear you. What advice would you have for us? Along those lines will be I would love for you to build on list but I'll just quickly add that. Yes it feels like hearing is such an important sense of the end they do say all of the other senses shut down but then the idea that you can whisper into your left one's ear some parting words and that they'll hear that and take that away with them as they go is incredibly powerful I remember doing that with my dad and just stroking his head and and whispering in his ear and I've I also heard many many times from the people who we interviewed for this book that oftentimes their loved one wouldn't die and kept holding on until they actually left the room and it's a pretty common experience. Oh you know you're holding vigil and you're not sleeping and eating and you're just sitting by the bedside hoping that you'll be there for that and the minute you take a pee break. Your loved one dies and there's something psychologically typically that I think happens where you know those loved one. Who's dying is aware that they can't do it in front of you and they they almost need you to leave the room to to let go so? There's something really profound there and B._J.. I'm sure you have more to add the last points really really key because otherwise it honestly feels like cruel I mean you see folks like not sleep for days on end and finally not offering go to the bathroom or whatever it is and unless they're aware of this phenomenon it almost else feels cruel so understanding that and understanding there for the some of the the kindest thing you can do is take care of yourself. Go to the bathroom when you need to go outside and when you when you step away just give your loved one a kiss and let them know you're GONNA be. Okay and that that may be the end and so in a way sometimes leaving the bedside can be the kind of thing so that's huge point and then the second one this reminds me of is like it's really important to understand that delirium is very common at the end of life so in the final hours today is the person very often is asleep but sometimes awake and they may be totally disoriented. You know delirium business sort of a condition of disorientation where time and space are off the almost get the feeling that someone's Kinda crossing over back and forth there in and out of this reality and in and out of a different reality and so one thing to notice that delirium is a thing it happened but most importantly is for the loved ones to realize that that when someone's delirious it's not them talking so I remember clearly and it's come up several times but there was a particularly dramatic moment I was <hes> public venue giving a talk and and a woman asked a question at the end of the talk and you could tell she was so scarred and practically shaking relaying the final moments of her husband's life her husband apparently had been totally devoted sweetest men on the planet had never uttered an unkind word to her except in like the final things he ever sent to her were apparently just completely horrible and crass and out of character and because the widow did not know about delirium she took her husband totally literally and her grief was so compounded because she had to wonder what secret life what secret feelings did her husband have all these years and was beating yourself up over it and it was very soon. The answer is so simple but it wasn't him talking. That was delirium talking so that's a huge huge consequential realization so much of the fear surrounding death is the fact that we don't really know what to expect and for people who haven't had experience with a loved one passing away in hospice care or in a hospital capitals. They've been lucky enough not to lose someone but they're just scared in general of dying. What advice would you have to them? In terms of if it's painful or if they're suffering involved or how they could get relief during that time well one tonight was that there is a whole field hospice and palliative medicine dedicated to helping people not suffer <hes> so there's a whole discipline a whole team waiting for you in a pound of cared team or if you really didn't alive hype is generally hospice and <hes> so don't wait so hospice has a lot of connotation. Some people honestly believe that hospices a place that actually kills you takes your life that is just not true but for all sorts of reasons people put off the call auto care or put off the call to hospice until it's way late in the game and they've suffered way more than they need to in fact we have data more and more data suggests that hospice and palliative medicine don't hasten your death and if anything they help you live longer because in distress dress you help control your symptoms support you and your family etcetera so I guess the big takeaway there and you don't need this does not have to be so hard. I would not wait to call hospice if you call hospice and he ended up living for months and years great right you can come off hospice. You'll get your old insurance back. Nothing is lost so when in doubt call in the professionals to help support you and what's the difference between Palliative care and hospice care ooh. Thanks for asking that yeah so they are the field is called hunt compounded medicine that is the official title of this sub specialties medical sub specialty but there's a big distinction between the two and and pound of cares grew out of hospice which is sort of basically interdisciplinary work to help people to suffer less and find more meaning to mitigate suffering and make life more meaningful until you die and hospice palliative care reserved for the end of life but the definition of pound of cares just interdisciplinary pursuit of meaning and the mitigation of suffering and there's no mention the definition of powder care of time until death so the huge distinction is there you do not need to be dying anytime soon to get out of care. I practice in Care Clinic at U._C._S._F.. And I have patients that I've been seeing for a dozen years. So bad healthcare all hospice is out of care but not all about of Gareth hospice hospice is kind of reserve for the end of life but otherwise paddock cares no investment in you dying anytime soon as you guys know. Our show is called. Nobody told me we and we want to hear from both of you. What are your nobody told me lessons about dying that you'd like to pass on? I wish somebody had told me that it's really important for us to just talk openly about death even if it's hard because is there's really a lot we can do to beat the designers of our own ending and you know we we don't know how will die and the circumstances may not yield us much control over that but there's actually a lot we can do to being into it and having a conversation with the people we love about what we want and don't want as we age and die is so so important so you know think through people in your life who have died I think about what about that experience you would want for yourself and what maybe you would WanNa do differently and I started to do that with my own family having learned so much from going through death of my father was with dementia which was which was so hard because I really didn't know what questions to ask my father and by the time I did it was too late because he wasn't with really capable of answering so now I've written some instructions for my family. You know if I can't recognize them and can't eat hit a bad debts and can't go to the bathroom by myself and I got a virus. I want you guys to let that virus progress and I don't want to be treated for. It and I don't want to be sent to the hospital. Those kind of specific instructions are really important and even in advanced directive doesn't really ask us to do that so I wish I had known that. We really do have a role in designing the way that we go out B._J.. What's your nobody told me lesson well? We said a few of them. I guess for me. There's a couple like one is. Nobody told me that that that death is part of life. I kinda grew up with a couple of things that in retrospect I wish I had changed changed. I wish I had known that that's my one and the same that you don't get one without the other than the one was not the antithesis in other that were that they're totally linked because I think we we sadly orphan death and we pay the price. We've talked so that's that's conceptual piece it reminds me of I really wish I really wish someone had also told me that it's not humans or man versus nature that we're GonNa have made it clear that human nature is nature that's related but then I think more tactically my answer would be nobody tells you that you may need to interrupt the healthcare system. I mean I think a lot of us. Just assume that we do I we can't live and then we can do anything more we die and that's how it goes and the truth is technology is advanced where we can prop up a a body physical life practically indefinitely and at some point most of us are going to have to actually intervene in the momentum of the healthcare system. You're going to have to actually say no to that next treatment. If you want a peaceful death that that's counterintuitive and I think that needs that's a big reason why we wrote this book. You can't just leave it up to Mother Nature and the way it used to be able to if you ever could that we have systems now that you actually have to interrupt if you hope to get off the planet in peace and tell us more about where people people can find the book and communicate with you guys on social media well. We have a website for the book and it's the acronym of the Book A. B. G. T. T. E. DOT com and you'll find all of our events and actually you can download an excerpt from the book that you can read that we are also both on twitter be Janai at Shoshana Berger and at B._J.. Miller M._D. and we have a facebook page for the book as well. It's the title of the buck a beginner's guide to the end and a group where we can just talk amongst each other about what the topics that are brought up in the book. Wow that sounds great does sounds great well. We thank you both so much for joining us our thanks to Dr B._J.. E._J. Miller and Shoshana Berger or the CO authors of the book a beginner's guide to the end practical advice for living life and facing death. I'm Jan Black and I'm Laura Owens you're listening to nobody told me they do so.

Dr Miller Shoshana Berger Shoshana Jan Black delirium Laura Owens Sean Gareth hospice hospice University of California San Francisco China Shana Shoshana I assistant clinical professor o editorial director Tedtalk
Dr. BJ Miller on What Death Can Teach You About Living a Freer Life [Ep. 9]

Airplane Mode

41:35 min | 2 years ago

Dr. BJ Miller on What Death Can Teach You About Living a Freer Life [Ep. 9]

"If you really rope it into your worldview that no matter what you do you are going to die someday because you are if you can just reconcile that fact and put it in your worldview then the pressure's off in some way like succeed. You're going down fail. You're going down so either way with that end point kind of guaranteed year safe. You Kinda can't go wrong and that's the gist that's made playfulness much more accessible to me because I'm going down no matter or what I do have fun. Hello Hello Hello and welcome back to another episode of airplane mode. I'm your host skipper. This week's guest is Dr B._J.. Miller Dr Miller is a palliative care physician who has just co authored a book that is about death it is called a beginner's guide to the end practical. Go advice for living life in facing death. Dr Miller has been pretty incredible story which he shares here but he suffered serious injury when he was still young had a very close brush with death and that led to him going into medicine but specifically working with people who were terminally ill or towards the end of their life so you know death is a thing that I think most of us avoid talking about or thinking about if we don't have to but Dr Miller is someone who encounters counters it in some ways on a day-to-day basis Cisco went ask him when you're around people who are at the end of their lives you know when you're learning about what people do care about towards the end or what they regret or what they would change how might that shift your perspective or how might that change things you care about or the life of its powerful thing death if you can bring into the room and ultimately I think you'll find effortlessness conversation with Dr Miller that it doesn't have to be such a scary thing. It can actually two more optimism and hope B._J.. Miller welcome to the podcast thank you what does the B._J.. Stand for Bruce Junior Okay Bruce Junior. Your middle name is junior. No Bruce my full name this. You'RE GONNA love. This full. Name is Bruce Lewis Von Sydney Miller junior wow but it's B._J.. For short well there's a lot of dive into their but we are here talking about your book which is out today beginner's guide to the end the full title practical advice for living life facing death. That's the one you've been working sort of in this space for a long time and working with death. I'm curious. Why how you in your co author Shoshana Burger Investment Correct Yeah how how come you decide to write this book now well short answers because she asked was but it was an easy? It was an easy yes in a lot of ways she asked and immediately clicked because had a sense from my clinical the work that the world could use a book like this a basic book for a general audience that covers sort of the waterfront of issues because as a clinician especially if you do hospice and Palliative care work you see your clinic will be filled with people who are suffering for for a lack of just basic information. The idea of having a sort of one stop shop were all the basic issues are covered. It seemed really like he's like it could be very useful thing in the world it could make my job as a clinician easier and I think could make my patients in their caregivers lives easier tune so it was it was sort of shocking than a book like this hadn't really been done before and so we were happy to give it a try but that was suggests it was sort of like it's not going to blow out the roof on the subject but it might raise the floor for people like yeah give sorta level the playing field. We all have some access to some basic information and that way when it comes time for us to be sick or dying. We don't necessarily have to add confusion on top of the list of things we're dealing with. Yes Shoshana has that most talked about after father passed asked she I think it was her sister Google. Yeah what do you do in someone dies. Yeah I mean you this moment in the book where you're talking about. How if we're up to you along with driver's Ed and sex Ed you almost have deathbed yours horse? Why do you think immunised is broad question but what our podcast for not being ponderous? Why do you think we so avoid thinking about this thing that we're all going to concerence at some point? It's it's it's such good big juicy question. I think there are many answers for it. I mean one is to give ourselves a little bit of a cut ourselves some slack we are hormonally wired to run away from our death. We have an inborn fight or flight eight or freeze kind of response to any threat to our existence so there's something in us. It's not just it's not just you can't just write it off denial in other words but on top of that basic impulsive we have is as living creatures we have gotten spectacular tackler removed from all sorts of things in nature including things like death <hes> it was the one in most natural demos natural thing there is and if just think of modern life we are human nature's pulled away from the rest of nature in all sorts of way so if you think about the last one hundred years and has technologies advanced and his new way to push back on death and extend life. We've gotten very seduced that on some level death is almost optional and if you watch our advertisers we read the billboards as if he listened to our language the implication is death is optional. You don't smoke eat Kale and you know you'll live forever. He has the sort of implication of Silicon Valley's like trying to solve it. They are like that's what we do. We make something normal we call it a problem. Apologize it and then we're GONNA go to war with it and sometimes that works pretty well oftentimes it works not at all and oftentimes as case would end of life stop and death. It's a mix medical science and our understanding of health has advanced financed and we are able to live longer have pushed back on nature in all sorts of ways and in ways that I'm happy I'm alive because of medical science from my injuries we can talk about those but as in college I had electrical injuries in nearly died from those and and it were not for the Vietnam War and all that was learned about saving folks with Burns I wouldn't be here today. I am alive thanks to technology and thanks to advances in healthcare so there's some good news in there too but the bad news is we just keep orphan this subject of death and it becomes less and less familiar and then more and more surprising and less and less intuitive and just gets harder and harder than it needs to be <hes> so anyway we can talk about their thing myriad reasons for it and then I also also think we're condom in a moment where we are reacquainting ourselves with nature and we're realizing that that's zero-sum game. If we take from over here we push things here. It's GonNa take from over there. This idea that we're all interrelated that the pollution I make in my own home is GonNa make its way to China and vice versa. The whole world order is sort of changing around this and it sort of it feels like a reckoning <hes> not to be dramatic. It just feels like a reckoning like yeah no matter what we do. We're still going to die okay. We have to reacquaint ourselves with that very basic basic fact you briefly touched on your injuries there and I wonder I know you've told the story many times but I just feel like it's informative for the work done since I'm curious if you might tell us that story of shares injuries. Let's say so. It's it's been almost thirty years twenty nine years Sophomore Year of college November's thank we just got back from Thanksgiving break and a couple of my friends and I were out in a town horsing around nothing particularly crazy with done crazier things but we are unaware the Wa Wa market to pick up a sandwich and where I went to school. There's a commuter train that runs right onto the edge of campus and it was parked was not non-operating. I'll just sitting there. We decide to climate again. Not like you would climb a tree. You're not didn't and feel like us. We weren't trained surfing or anything like that but I happen to be the first one up and I had a metal metal. Watch on in New Jersey trains run with wires overhead so when I stood up I got close enough to the power source in electricity arc to my wife and entered entered the arm and then blew out the feet and that was Adam instead of freak millisecond accident note that was it. How long was the sort of recovery? Can we talk to discuss the recovery process. How long that took one that was like <hes> yeah? It was intense. I mean it was a little that was as you could imagine very intense. You know probably exactly as you would imagine it you know as an a burn unit New Jersey at Saint Barnabas Hospital for a couple months and then step down unit and then Rehab Hospital back home in Chicago where is my family was from the time and then outpatient Rehab and so that was November and then I went back to school the following fall but recovery per se took. You know I'd say for me. I really noticed that I had kind of rehabilitated accommodated the accident by by the fifth year so it was a long slow process but early days touch and go like you know could die tonight kind of thing yeah so that was that was very intense all sorts of crazy pains and yeah we could talk for hours about all the thoughts that came up and but I will say and I'm happy talk about Abbott but it did <hes> apper compensation did get me very very interested in what it means needs to be a human being more or less of human being because I had no feet now. I mean does that. Where was the math? How was I different now? Truly different was I have less value. What was I going to do with my life? Who would care was I going to be in a relationship again? You know these kind of questions rattling around my ahead of time but I saw settled on okay this question what makes a human being human being and realizing it wasn't their feet and that termi onto kind of re approaching my own being human and kind of re the opportunity was I got to refashion fashion myself. I got to Kinda start from scratch and build my life up again as like took me down to some basic raw material and the ad to refashion from that on that was hard but in a way was a wonderful. Wonderful Opportunity I suppose we can do any of his can do that all the time but I had a big fat excuse to do so and that ultimately led me into medicine. I imagine a lot of people wouldn't survive. That incident is that right or I mean to talk to you about the I was very lucky. I was very inside road crew and I was in the best shape that I'll I'll ever been so. I was physically very fit at the time and certainly I'd help and I was in nineteen in a so yeah. That was all very fortunate but also think there's something with electrical burns. I don't know if this is true true but I've heard that it's sort of you know smaller voltage could kill <hes> a healthier person depends on where hits you and your cardiac cycle where your heartbeat is at the time. They're all sorts of variables. I couldn't pretend to do justice to but institute question yeah. I was very lucky to survive that and it what point did the determination that three of your limbs had be emptied that occur that's started so the first it was served by I think probably had eight or nine surgeries or something like that because with Burns you can't it's not obvious what what tissues viable and then what tissue has to go and and one I reference earlier that lessons learned from wartime was the realization that pass initial event people die from Burns from infection because your skin barriers broken end and so infection is the thing and watching burn skin whether it's gone to yield to infection necrosis and dive versus kind of make its way through and survive is not obvious so the first amputations where I think day six in so they took little as a needed to and then would go back to the operating room and reassess and so it was piecemeal amputations over the course of <hes> to the first two months while you talk in the book about there's a whole section on diagnosis when and people receive a terminal illness diagnosis and you talk about how you should be patient in not expect to reach a place of equanimity winning rain so I'm curious if we you mentioned earlier about some thoughts you had when you're in the hospital covering. I'm curious. If we could unpack your journey to again like what were some of the questions you started asking yourself in the weeks and months after as you were sort of Vashem who you were in what you under life to be I had a mother who had polio uh-huh and was in a had used a wheelchair much of my life and so I had a running start on what it meant to be disabled and the forces at work on your there you know early on I could feel the impulse to like self pity. Ms You know you really trying to keep that bad learned from my mom. That self-pity is such a seduction. People are gonNA pity you. You're gonNA pity yourself on some level. It gets US sort of a sweetness from people people will give you things there's like. There's an upshot too but it's like a sugar high. It doesn't last I. It's a trap those early days are hard because you know you'd be doing something that you knew. You are not going to be good at but you knew you had to do it. You knew you're gonNA do something embarrassed yourself and fun others but you had to do it because otherwise you're gonNA fall prey to this pity thing so that there's a lot of the early stuff and then it became questions I am. I GonNa get laid again. <hes> sorry I've had sounds grabbing but seriously since one thousand nine hundred in this bed in my God I did not know what to expect there. That was a huge question and then you know beyond that it was much more sort of philosophical as much more of a sense of identity lake. Who Am I now but anyway I should probably stop because we gotta talk for hours and but that was basically the process and then going back to college and I guess one other piece of information nations kinda useful years when we went back to school I take my major to studying art history and that was the smartest decision I ever met her? One of the best decisions ever made because in the hunch was I had all the stuff that I couldn't change and I was like as a privileged White Princeton student I was pretty used to having a fair amount of control over my life in ways that completely took for granted and now all of a sudden this I kicked my ass in a very very powerful way and it was humbling bling. <hes> of course it was extremely humbling which of course is of great value so I was was moments of deep insecurity but a lot of is simply being humble and realizing holy cow I suffer in ways now that I had not been in touch with and so so many other people suffer I I got turned onto the idea that suffering was a link between people not this thing that pushed him away. Actually was this thing that joined us. Every human being suffers so with all of that I started studying art as this the thing that humans do to make sense of their experiences <hes> that was an essential thing making artists weird essential thing that humans do we are very creative adaptive species and then now I had all this grist. I had all this raw material to play with in. I remember number. I Art History Class of sin. They're looking at statues that came up in on the slide. Show these beautiful statues there were missing limbs. They weren't designed that way. They're statues that got broken over the years and here we are in his class studying these things in loving them and talking how beautiful they were it was literally it was that simple I like. I looked like that statue on some level like we like that statue. Maybe I can like this that kind of silly and that kind of direct and concrete but anyway that's kind of how I kinda got going down road and the the art thing was I learned how to see like we humans have is ability to change our perspective much more than we can change the material world we can change how we see the material and taking on that power was the key speaking speaking of perspective in there. You know one thing I wanted to ask was about 'cause you'd go on to work at the Zen Hospice Center in San Francisco the Executive Director Yeah. Are you still working there a no I have left her about three years ago and they actually had to close hospice. Guest I house had <unk> organizations still exist training volunteers but the hospice house had to close the reason I bring it up because you know I know in Zen Zen Buddhism a big thing is about clinging and way we cling to desires now that leads to suffering Yep and not a two typecast you although I think typecasting this this might be the best type of typecasting that exists you know it takes a certain type of person to go to Princeton and there's a lot of striving clinging aspiration ambition. I would imagine so. I'm I'm curious how your perspective may be after he suffered his accident or after the accident occurred. How your perspective on ambition and aspiration maybe changed great question man? This is one of the great upshots of the experience so you're absolutely right of all the striving that got me to Princeton. You're around all these people. Everything's our future and everything strategic. Everything's a means to some end all the time and okay that serves some purpose. I get get it. It's a compelling way to pull yourself up and out in through life but boy is problematic to you lose out on so much and I had hunch that in my bones at that wasn't a really a great way to live but I was caught up in that swim. I was very much caught up in that and wanted to keep performing so the accident had very happily was dramatic and profound enough. It forced me to be in the moment especially in the recovery phases first few years. I just couldn't think about the future go too far ahead in the future because there were just too much unknown and I have to clogged up thinking about this moment I had to dealing with the pain house. I going to move around campus. GET The classes Baba. So that was a great favor. It really taught me to be here for now just from the business of it but also more existential realizing holy cow I could die tomorrow. I could today a couple minutes from now. I mean really knowing that in my bones not just as interesting thought like having experienced it in my bones that was such Gotcha gift so it kind of forced forces at a meditation into my life of sorts so that was huge getting me in the moment and at least aware of when I'm striving and when I'm living now on behalf of some future state it's still do it all the time that much more aware of it and I can snap out of it. That was huge huge gift. Can We unpack how you do snap out of it like what is the actual internal process. It's very simple. I just see that I'm doing it okay. It's like observations is self observation. I watched my brain. Oh right man. You're doing this right now not because you enjoy it or interested in but because you think it's going to get you somewhere down the road. It's just a simple observation. I'm just more I guess as self-awareness through all that focusing on my rebuilding myself I self I became much more self aware and so now I can see myself when I trip into these other patterns. At what point did you then. No you wanted to switch art history appointed. You know you wanted to go into the medical world so as I I like them that whole bike in the moment kind of thing that was great like so the rest of college it was wonderful place to have two more years in that setting and that sort of protective bubble setting where you really could be in the moment and soaked so much up in your learning it was beautiful is amazing and admit the graduation day was such a trip. I honestly had not thought I had not let myself give any thought when I was going to do for a living for I really was in the moment really like graduation legendary Haw Holy Shit into now and it was really it was a scary moment. This experience had been so rich for me and it had forced a maturation on me in some ways that I really appreciated sure you don't have to lose limbs to learn these things. Let's be clear but I had an an I had learned so the impulse was I really really wanted to use these experiences and I started thinking about how I could do that and so I looked into <unk> disability advocacy work arts advocacy COSC- work but fun it was like medicine lit up as this ambitious thing to try and now ambition by the way retention took over me. I was willing to try things fail. Failure had lost its sting of lesson huge. You just specify Princeton Princeton not student there and it gave me such an advantage. I had a totally different Strut when I realized I didn't mind super liberating and that at dreaming up to just try things like okay. I'll try going to medical school. All what's the worst is going to happen. I'll fail out or I'll hate it then. I'll do something else a thought like that. A few years before would have just broken me. I love this so this is just completely indulging my own curiosity here but one thing I wanted to talk to you out was obviously I just met you now <unk> but having read stories about you see nerves you've done you seem to have a real sense of playfulness Yeah Yeah and as I've done a lot of unpacking in therapy that a big problem in my life has been a lack of playfulness because again I similarly came from a background very very privileged background very lucky but it has to do a lot striving about you act a certain way and you get certain results vary ends oriented and so failure has always been extremely scared and playfulness has never been a part of the equation strut around in something being like Oh doesn't work out. It'll be okay. I'm basically walking out all the time being like if this doesn't go right it's fucking. Everything's GonNa fall apart yeah. How did you bring that playfulness into your life like I so curious to understand how that happens? In yeah talk about that well there to a little bit by force it was kind of just rammed down my throat because you will find yourself chronic illness disability all these things there's there's incredibly awkward like they just make for incredibly awkward moments where you're not your leg falls off and you're walking across the street or you know when like really ridiculous things happen and did that happen. No yeah wow my favorite was in denver when I was running across the street and by leg flew off and I was wearing pants and that could tell all trapped can screeching halt and I just I was on the ground and looked around my leg was I ten feet away and the facial expressions of people they were so freaked out because they hadn't put the math together that this was a fake leg just really thought some dudes leg off spontaneously and the guys some guy got out of his car and went picked up my leg and cared about two men handed me with the funniest facial expression I have ever seen in my life into all all those nothing to do but to laugh like it was scary I suppose but I was safe life and it was just funny so stuff like that happens it just by force. What did I say to you? He didn't say much would've loved this Dutch with them probably needed therapy so freaked out. You mean really looked paying. I want to know what that guy looks like in the when he got home. I want to know I five minutes of him being home in May two did he tell people were. They gonNA think he's crazy like I mean the whole thing so moments like that. They're all over the place. You smell funny for meanwhile used to sweat like a pig. I would just like I would leave puddles. Wherever I sat I was just gross at times you just because you really don't have a choice you deal with? It and I think that was a key like not having a choice these are not recreational. Thoughts is not aspirational things. I'd like to work on like do this now because you have to get through your day in a way for folks perhaps if I can put us in Saint Bowdoin in terms of coming from a similar background I needed to be someone needed to yank me out of that mode. I wasn't gonNA I didn't think I would able to do that myself but circumstance pulled out of it and so by his rolling around with my own life. The playfulness came this key point about playfulness because it is a real bomb lemon. If you can find yourself playful again as implies you're safe and plasma things but it's also just fun and refund around and I think the key way to get there is when you really if you really rope it into your worldview that no matter what you do you are going to die someday because you are if you can just reconcile that fact fact put it in your worldview then the pressure's off in some way like succeed. You're going down fail. You're going down so you get away with that. End Point kind of guaranteed year safe. You Kinda can't go wrong and that's the gist that's made playfulness much more accessible to me because I'm going down no matter what I do so minds will have fun and then I got a service dog Vermont who has his name and I got a service dog when I went back to college at him for eleven years and just watching him in the world was so instructive how playful he was and how when he felt safe and I was keep you feel safe than you can play and internal your externally. That's the key ingredient and so when I could see my dog when Verma say when he was feeling of did he was the most playful loving ridiculously bullion critter in just naturally came easily and I learned from him house another big piece of it. I love that I my favorite who had watch him and he loved he needed me like he loved like he didn't see some some broken person. WHO's missing parts? He wasn't comparing me some abstract thing. He thought human should look like I don't know that humans are the highest species sometimes used very advanced. That's a very offense. It's like super in the moment. He's not treating you like he thinks you should be not bummed that his life isn't what it is just deals with what is and we could all learn from that he. I love that following that threat a little bit what are the things you've learned about creating that safe safe feelings that you can look what you have in your life that creates that safeties then you feel free to to play well for me. I think the biggest answer that question has been friendship <hes> to me. Friendship is the highest station I have been. You know I've been married. I've been a romantic antics relationships but I just for me. The way I feel the openness the loving lack of like jealousy in clinging I I am lease contorted in friendships and I feel the most open most loving and most loved loved and it's that kind of mode I have been blessed with really beautiful friendships and Brent ships have interestingly I know they're beautiful because they got stressed and my friends reacted they responded. You know it's kind of an interesting thing to think about. Here's another tangent but like compassion right. You probably like compassionate probably think that's pretty good Yankee. No it's a good feeling to receive it gives you feel it but the only way we get like the only way I know compassion exists in someone is when it's actually tested like when something's wrong when there's some suffering in the air that's what summons the compassion there you need them. Both so I had the luck good luck of having this misfortune which summoned all this beauty in other people would summoned this loving compassionate or people that I didn't know existed at had never been summit in there had been no need for it but I got to see it because there was there was a need for friendship has been the proof point for me. They're the ones who created that space and that was the relationship to something had to go wrong for that space to reveal itself. <hes> I WANNA give it a little bit to death. Not Not a sentence I've used often but <hes> as I mentioned before we started talking with Mike's I mentioned you know the conceit of this may be being what working with death has taught you about designing life so as a way of getting there. Perhaps I'm curious having been around so many people who are at the end of their lives. What are the like things that people actually care about at <unk> turn? Maybe even along with that. What are the things you most often? See them regretting wishing done differently <hes> incident first question. It does seem that like so much this stuff. We've been talking about an arlen quests overcome the daily pulls Jose. Turn us into things that we don't quite WanNa be the daily challenges whether it's pressures to perform here. They're like we said like like what happened for me. When I got injured I do see that happened in of life for people to let go of a lot of concerns then the upshot some those things they don't want to let go up and it's just horribly said but it does force a certain perspective more of a cosmic I feel this to like time and space took on different meaning like one hundred years no longer longtime to me when I start thinking about a stretch of life life inside of me and outside of me and I see this in my patients to you can't help but get in touch with a bigger worldview well you can't help doesn't always happen but it does feel very accessible to start thinking more cosmic time? We're all even if you live two hundred twenty that that's a blip and that I have come to love and I've watched that is my patience to not everyone loves it. Sometimes it really challenges your ego but in a way it's nice at the end of life you get to feel nice and small and all little concerns at just drove you body are in proportion now they're in perspective now and they reveal themselves to be small things and so at best. I guess what I'm saying as you come to a place of a grander perspective and Ego Ego's the sting that is about to die with enough time and support. You're aware that sure this body is this ego dies but the life at the sings a part of keeps going like there's so much more life that life is huge lights. GonNa keep going and so yeah your morning your own loss us but you're super aware that you're entering your reentering the sort of cosmic side of things and that can be very beautiful to see that does happen. Wow so basically a perspective yes it goes back to the art history yeah way that was that's super interesting. It comes down to how human see themselves in the world and then the very subjective squishy thing and we consume in ourselves very big in a small pond we can zoom out and see ourselves teeny and a little in the human capacity to choose your point of view is stunning <hes> it's singular singular talent if he asked me and I watched people exercise at at the end of life and what are some small things may be in your life that you look what some of the used to worry about that you just don't worry about anymore. Why still were and that's what is so? It's more like I've gotten better etter like we said really. I've gotten better at catching myself and again. It's back to like you don't overcome these impulses urges to worry about this or that. It's just that worry is put in perspective. My patients don't necessarily lose their fear of death but that fear gets in becomes in perspective. There's a proportionality to at best so some of the things you might let go of you. Don't really let go of them. You just kind of catch yourself fretting over something that really doesn't matter then invest you kinda laugh at it and you move on so I don't actually see myself others actually. Dropping concerns for little things they just there in proportion okay is there one example of concrete thing that that happens in my fan is love this example I keep finding ways to use this example for some reason enamored with is Janette a patient minos that hospice specific zen hospice for a while she she dropped her concern for smoking she restarted smoking and I thought it was something so beautiful about it because it's not like if you don't smoke. You're not going to die either way. The deaths coming she had quit. It's Mojo years ago for health and here she was dying L._S.. which starves people have breath right and so she started smoking again because she knew death was coming no matter what she did so she was no longer kicking and screaming and she was rolling with it and that opened her up she loved her Gallois John Cigarette so she started re smoking again in the hospice and honestly it was something to celebrate and her explanation was so beautiful? She said she's not. It's not wasn't a self destructive bent wasn't her trying to hasten her death. It was hurt hurt. Losing her breath was was was going to kill her while she still had breath. She wanted to feel her lungs so by inhaling smoke is like she took these casts of her lungs with every breath and she could feel the contours over lungs on she could see her breath. It was stunning. Poetic was beautiful so doesn't really enter a question like I say always tried I for some reason I loved the nets example and how it turns health on its head a little bit but so she let go of her fear of dying in a way she let go over fear of being a a naughty person smoking and she just let herself to it felt good. There's this moment in the I think it was in the book but May read somewhere else where you're talking about zen hospice when someone dies minute the bodies being taken out of the guest house you guys have a flower ceremony yeah in the purpose of that is to start the grieving process with warmth. Yeah I love that idea. Yes grades beautiful. I'm curious how the lessons you've learned about grief and loss misbehaviour related death how they've informed other aspects of loss costs in your life so in the career or the number relationship like what have you learned about grieving and morning in your work with death you've been used with other aspects of loss yeah. Honestly I think grieving if we humans right now how are being asked if there's one skill that we humans should really work on Kinda pull a shoe these times I honestly think it's grieving and explain why I think when you start thinking about grief and its relationship to life you quickly realized that grief and love are totally entwined. You don't love someone or something losing. It's not such a big deal right to so the pain in a way is directly related to your love and that connection for me has been really potent and so when I feel grief and I feel because it's not necessarily comfortable feeling <hes> I think I would have in the past wanted to kind of kit out myself and I did this when my sister died didn't give myself much grieving time and I regret it so much. It's like a singular regret my life because I was cutting off the source of loving my sister by trying to kick this hard feeling out of myself. I was kicking her out of myself really a huge mistake. If I had learned this relationship to love I wouldn't have been so angry grantham feelings I wouldn't have been so bothered by them and then I'm would've probably rolled around with them and so normalize ingred understanding that it's going to have its way with you. Enter Weird feelings it's surreal period and it can feel often hard. It could feels often hard though because loss a big piece of what constitutes reality for you and that should be hard. I welcome that pain now in a way because it means I love that connection has been huge for me and the patients I worked with but if you let yourself grieve if even if you revel in it to some degree that's where you get to form a new relationship with the thing that's that you've lost and that and that way you live on with it too. That's a beautiful notion back. They if I'm grieving it tells me I love the sing and if I lead myself I'm going to get to keep loving this thing going forward and that that's a pretty good deal while what is feeling that pain look like just sitting with it. Yeah I think so much. What we're talking about? Man is really not kicking mm feelings out of yourself. It's actually daring Legis feel it. <hes> whatever it is yeah so do that then. You're not feeling guilty for feelings way in ashamed for what's wrong with me. I'm so sad you know the guilt and shame stuff. That's this gratuitous pain that we kinda heap on ourselves as an each other that I feel is almost criminal so no. I think that the instruction here is just let yourself feel what you're gonNA feel for me. Between a thought feeling has to do with feeling you can't control it has its own life much more mysterious that is to be welcome. Even if it's obnoxious she's feeling and having come close to death that was another early thought was like Holy Shit like I almost even kind of enjoy feeling pain. Why do I enjoy? I don't enjoy it but I was just so glad to feel anything like numbness is the enemy to me. I'm not pain and if you go through it enough you realize that you can withstand a lot you can feel you can take it you know and in some ways then pride kind of lines up with two and all sorts of good stuff so I think the whole key is so much of what we're talking about whether it's greed for pain or or whatever it is just let yourself you it. You're not going to stay in grief forever. If you dare to like reveling in a little bit it doesn't mean it's GonNa stick around forever that dark cloud no actually is kind of the opposite. If you don't deal with that it's going to stick around and annoy for years got to come in indirect ways. How much shame in guilt did you feel about your accident a lot a lot? That took me a long time work through a lot to say about that but I think apropos our conversation conversation it was I felt really your sophomore year college these beautiful friendships and you know and those guys man they came to hospital like every day and <hes> that's not college experience. I think they were looking for ah it took from them. I took from them a lot and I felt horrible about that and for for many many years I remember when I came home from the hospital. When the first things I had my mom and I actually had an argument and she made a commented into me? She said you know this didn't just happen to you. It happened us to this accident and I I was in a wheelchair time. I was so enraged at that thought I stood up on my stumps on the bear stump. My leg stood up picked up this wheelchair wheelchair and hugged it across room. It was weird expulsion of energy because it was so I knew she was right but that was a horrible realization not only that I had to do this pain but all my friends and family had to deal with this pain too I felt horrible and she was right and to me years to really reconcile all that flash forward to man I think my thirtieth birthday party wasn't actually at the party but it was the my thirtieth birthday we re congealed a lot of this friendships and we talked about some of the stuff out and they made the point like no man. This is humans. This is like we wasn't quid pro quo week. We learned a lot from that experience to like. It wasn't something any of us would chosen but we learned a ton and we were so happy survived and we didn't do it so you owed us you. You don't always you know they just kinda laughed at me and it was such a relief and I've come to really I see this with working with patients and their caregivers 'cause this happens a lot. People feel like they're a burden and I think what we have to do as a society is become clear that there's a real loop between caregiving in care receiving that is not like selfish as the care receiver and selfless is the caregiver not at all like that doesn't work like we all have to find the exchange in that like one thinks I can do for my patients. If I find some excuse to take take something from their experience are less than I learned from them. I'm sure that I always tell them because otherwise they just like passive vessel taking from people all the time and if I can say that you gave me something cut it really lights them up so nicely and as you probably know what's the giver who should be thankful full really I mean we have if you have something to give you have something offer. That's something to be thankful for so got up end this idea that caregiving is selfless and care receiving selfish. It's totally it's all wrapped together. It's a real sweet little loop. That reciprocity is is where all the lessons are and also the humidity of understanding that none of us is immune. We're all dependent on each other at some point. This fantasy that I'm independent that word is amiss. Debt independence does not exist. It's maybe something inspired. You can be relatively independent but I do not believe an independent person has ever walked the planet or ever will I wouldn't wanna be that person. How lonely would that be? The last question on this podcast is always for a favourite fuck up well. We've -ticipant talking about a big one. No character fuck up but <hes> fuck up mashed been on top of that terrain but let's see we've talked enough about that. Favorite got lots of them and I think my marriage was a fuck cup in some real way Jori. I love you so much of your ever listen. This joy and I tried to be married for three years. We just it was not on we was it was it was fucked up. We were just not. I don't know what we were doing is an odd experiment experiment and we really really loved each other and once we realize that and split up we've both been so much happier for it and both love each other so much more for it so in a way it was a fuck up to get married and we kind of made a mess of each other's lives for a few years on some I am level but we both grew ton from it and I are much closer for it. Now like that fuck up was now is just kind of fun story that reflect on I mean we call it a favorite fuck off because it feels like a fuck of time but then you look back on your like yeah I can. I can have fond memories as of that scare quotes fuck up yeah and I would say M- in learning such a wonderful thing like learning happens yeah you can learn from doing things right but we really learned from doing things wrong and I would say you shall you can salvage just about any fuck up by learning something. That's all you need playfulness yep so you can fuck you V._J.. Thank you so much coming on and for your candor and it's a pleasure man. Thank you so much that that is it for this week. Thank you Dr Miller coming on again. His book beginner's guide to the end practical advice for living life in facing death which he wrote with co-authors. Shoshana Burger is out now powerful in the way talks about death also just practical spoiler.

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Episode 57: Dr.BJ Fogg  World-Renowned Behavior Scientist and Best Selling Author of Tiny Habits

Habits and Hustle

1:31:59 hr | 1 year ago

Episode 57: Dr.BJ Fogg World-Renowned Behavior Scientist and Best Selling Author of Tiny Habits

"The welcome to the habits and Hustle. Podcast a podcast and uncovers the rituals unspoken habits and mindsets an extraordinary people a podcast powered by habit nest. Now here's your host Jennifer Cohen. Diy Habits and Hustle. This is the first podcast not face to face. We are doing at squad cats. Now in your intro here. Sorry I'll tell you don't have to be fired. I like I like the voice from the peanut gallery over there I was. I was just GONNA say that. We have the og of creating habits on the podcast. Bj Fox is new book is called tiny habits I loved your Tedtalk. Are you a couple of debt? Talks though right and I've watched those but I say I really really enjoyed the first one. Thank you and your new book. Timing habits if thing this is what's going to be very difficult about this. Podcast you have so many of mazing tips tricks processes and how Gain a good at new habit had a bad habit and everything in between I don't know quicker even have enough time to cover everything I feel like. We'll see orders. We'll do a series. We should two part series once a week for the year. I I'm telling you I'm going through your walkout like okay. This this one piece can be literally entire podcast and so listen. I guess we'll just Kinda see where out far we can get in there but thanks for being on habits hustle. Thank you from biting me. Well this is going to emmy however would you live in Hawaii or you Kinda? Yeah part time in Maui and so you didn't escape what's going on here right now. We were already here and just made a decision to stay here so in a time like this. When everyone's basically on lockdown especially in California New York Building Habits New Habits is is gonNA is extra tricky and Is has a whole other layer on layer of difficulty with chaos and kid everything in between I don't even know where to begin. I guess I I guess the first place to begin is how do you it? A new a new normal is going to be. I don't know it could be monster all in our homes. How do we kind of shift and create A new set of habits that you know is kind of Florence. All of us. Yeah The environment around us. Changing all of us are creating. New Habits is probably. I'm quite sure in the history of the world. We have more human beings changing their habits right now than ever before and it may never happen like this again. I hope the environment so so much of our behavior in our habits are driven by our environment our context and right that's changed. There's an environment of fear environment of lockdown like today in Maui and Hawaii. Was the day that everybody stays home. And so people aren't doing their normal things aren't in their normal work environments and so whether people designed for it or not whether they want it or not your habits are changing and there will be some habits. Stayed The same and some change. Maybe a lot that change my own habits. Haven't changed that much because what I do is I do. Mostly remote work Medupi some shifts. I need to do And some of them might be bigger than others but most people are probably making really big ships right now and I think the key is to maintain the good habits you have and then for the habits that you have the shift around like how you work out or how you eat or how you work than design for the best habits that you can and be proactive about that. And that's really what my work and tiny habits is about. Here's how you design habits into your life if you do that deliberately. And it's not as hard as most people believe and just do the best. You can especially in this environment because there are so many distractions guy. There's the emmy very at for people who I know. You hate the word motivated but not hate. The word. Motivation isn't really a NAS to change behavior or to create a better behavior right and WanNa talk about that actually of a little bit. And what how? What are the ways? People the roadways how people shift behavior because at the end of the day Jim built a habit. It's actually about changing behavior right. Yeah so it is is I mapped it out. Habit is one type of behavior. There are other types of behaviors like doing things one time. We're doing things for a limited period of time or doing something more intensely whereas habits Behave you do quite automatically and motivation matters. Yes it matters. I though understand through my research and through coaching over forty thousand people inhabit that motivation is not the key to trading habits. Yes you have to be motivated to have a particular habit. So focused on habits. You want those that you feel like you should have But instead of focusing on motivation which if supplicant on you really focus on ability making it really easy and then the third component of figures the prompt. What's going to remind you to that behavior? So from the outset you pick habits you want so motivations built-in like if you Want to serve well. That's great awesome. Then make it really easy to do it. Make sure there's approved. That's kind of what I've done. That's why I live in Maui Part Time Right. I do not have to motivate myself to go surfing. I have to in fact do the opposite on days where I'm really busy or maybe the weather is really terrible. I have to stop myself from going on. I still go out and look at least so if you I know it sounds crazy but I'm not the only one in this situation so if it's a habit that you want and it's really about making it easy to do in finding it prompt and that essences tiny habits right there but let's just. Let's just stay on the motivation because people ask me all the time just they also saw that you worked with weight watchers or with Dave Kirk off. Which is what. I was with weight watchers for so many years and so that I was reading your book and I'm like Oh my God I know I know that guy. Yeah Yeah we to actually add watches. I'm not just saying that because I was involved with them for many years. That was because it actually does work. I mean is it reason why it there. There is success to it but Anyway I get asked a lot but motivation like wow. I'm just not motivated to work out of just not loaded at. How do I get motivated? And people always say that it's motivation and you really talk a lot about the different types of motivation. You can have a storage motivation menu. cloth You can you. Let's talk about the different kinds of motivation and walk. You're the expert. Tell us you know logistics categorize it this way. There are aspirations down. We have like I want to be healthier. I WANNA lose weight and there's motivation for that abstract thing that aspiration and then there are specific behaviors. WanNa Surf I WANNA eat three carats everyday and the motivation for that specific behavior. So motivation applies in both contexts. So yes you need to be motivated for that aspiration. I WANNA be more fit or I want to be more productive but then you need to find the behavior the specific new habit. That will take you there and you need to find a new habit that you're motivated to do so in terms of fitness. I think all of us are motivated to have more energy and be more fit. And so that's there than the challenge is to find the exercise or the new habit. That will get you that that you also wanted so if you came to me and said. Okay. Bj going to have you walk on a treadmill and a gym for an hour a day. That's how you're GONNA BE FIT. It's like no known aboard like I might be able to get myself to do that for a time. No I'm not on board with that. But then he say Oh go surfing. I'm totally unemployed. Which is harder than walking on a treadmill so motivation applies to the aspirations are outcome that we want but it's really important to also connect with the new habit that you're doing and find one that you want to do so if it's not walking on the treadmill look for exerciser fitness habits that you do want and don't just assume because you've watched. Ted Talk or you some TV show or friend told you that something great. That's right for you. So the method that I outlined tiny habits is a way to figure out which specific new habit is a good match for you and that includes something that you're already motivated to do that. You want to do that you like doing well. You talked about that. I believe in you. Know the steps to change Design your behavior right like what not to do and what to do right like what what. Why are you laughing? Well because I it's just there's so many people that just assume all this stuff that they've heard for decades is right and they're like okay. I don't really want to go to the gym. But I guess I'll go do and that's part of what my work and my books about is to say. Hey people so much of what you've heard about habits is wrong so stop believing it away and don't laugh out of derision it's just it's so commonplace and once people see it of course of course if. I want to walk on the treadmill now not going to become a habit so there's kind of this nice moment of insight people can get like. Oh help myself do what I already want to do. Can really be that easy. Yes it's not it's like people always say what's the best best thing is to do to lose weight and the best thing is that you're actually going to do like there's do. I have to run well. No you don't have to run if you're not if you don't like running you're not gonna Rod so they'll pick that activity pick something different. I know what I you're very. It's very what you talk about is so contrary wherever here is because you don't like in your whole book and what you're talking about you've never used the word like goal like here's your goal. It's about like you'd never liked working or remorse right. Everyone always talks about well if you want it do this. And you'll get this or have this goal and you're like people at all how it works right. Yeah I mean you. You don't have to set goals. The there are times when those are helpful You don't have to be set up an accountability partner. There's times when that could work The the really the key to key takeaways and I called them maxims and everything falls under these two statements. One is help yourself do what you already want to do. That's maximum number one and maximum number to help yourself feel successful so goals setting helps you feel successful do it. But there are people where it doesn't and it scares them and they know that they set a goal. They won't even do it because they've done it before. And it helps them feel unsuccessful if accountability partner helps you feel successful still it. But if it doesn't don't do it so there's a lot of techniques approaches that it's hard to say. Yeah that's good. Or bad the overriding principles or does to yourself which already want to do and help yourself feel successful so anything you look at whether it's a specific technique like accountability partners or an overall program like weight watchers or Peleton. Or what have you ask yourself? Is doing those things from enough? Yes Divan if fidel than avoided. Because it's not going to work in the long in the long term so that in a situation we're in right now. Right where a big motivation would be or stock by the lake to figure out what we're second home. We have lots of work screaming. Kids now not a school. Isn't that big enough motivation to start at a? I guess a a different behavior will eliminate a bad one. We're in a very unusual time Usually motivation will if it surges. It will go down fairly quickly and I've called that name that with health. Dr David Sobel. Thank you David. Call at the motivation wave. It goes up and then it will come back down wherein appeared. That's more like a soon Nami. It goes up and it doesn't come down quickly. A will come down but it's not doing it quickly. So we have a period of weeks and certainly months. Hopefully not years months of where we're GONNA be in an unusually high state of motivation for certain things protect ourselves from virus transmission. First and foremost and so in when motivation is high. Were able to get ourselves to do difficult things when it drops. We can't do those difficult things. So where and we've seen this globally where the people were all doing these really hard new behaviors and we're keeping them up because the motivation so high right now. This is a really unusual period. It's a Su- Nami the motivation to NAMI rather wave. That goes up and down. So how did you become a a Europe behavioral scientist but as a lot of your I guess all your research is it based on practical experience. You try these out. People are defense trial and error on yourself. A bunch of forty thousand or fifty thousand I. It is a combo of IT'S A. It's a Combo of academic work in doing research. Looking at the research and hands on experience in coaching. I stopped counting at forty thousand people so I save fifty thousand personally. Coaching forty thousand plus In habit changed and I did that through email so it wasn't like they showed up at my home or whatever but it was individual emails year for starting back in two thousand eleven week after week after week after week people hundreds of people and really fast at it Automated parts of it. But I would look at everybody's email that would I mean it was a daily thing where I would spend time of every day coat for years and after a while you see the patterns of what works. And what doesn't in a way that an academic study cannot teach you because it's people in the real world creating real habits and you're just you eventually see patterns and the patterns are overwhelmingly clear and not really helped me than look back at the academic work and go. Oh yeah this could have worked as a laboratory setting. This doesn't work in the real world and so on an even help focus my own research so I was studying. Not The tradition right if I just picked up on the academic tradition. I'd be studying things. That may not matter very much but looking at things actually matter. That's where the maximum came from the combination of. What do I know? Is Behavioral Scientist? What do I know as somebody who's hands on for you know week after week for years and it really boils down to those two maxims and I at first even though I had a sense those variety I almost didn't say them even to myself that no it can't be that simple can't live under those two things then after all just end up just yeah it really boils down to those two things helping yourself do what you already wanted to help yourself feel successful in any product or program should do the same thing if you want it to work in the long term suffer temporary things? There are lots of ways to get ourselves to do things temprorarily but for lasting change. Those things really matter. So what did you learn you find out in all your Nollie or research? Impractical like Florida things at. I'm like I'm paid or look like they would work. Didn't work at all but impractical experience. Where did these people took to the most the easiest ways you would think that making a big public commitment announcing on facebook from now on? I'm going to work out an hour a day or I'm going to lose fifteen pounds in the next ninety days and you hold me to it. Everybody and if I don't do it you would think that would work. It doesn't work very very well out all works to set you up to be really nervous anxious and to maybe humiliate you in front of your friends. So it's not finding a way to put yourself on the hot seat in front of others works temporarily but it doesn't work effectively for lasting change. So that's one thing that were often you often see in your often shown you think. Oh if I just you know in this moment I'm so upset. One of my students did this when he posted. I was like oh no. He had a drinking problem. This is after he left Stanford but we are friends on facebook and he announced. Hey everybody now commit to all of you. I'll never drink again to back. I really really really hope that's true but this is not a method that reliably works just taking proclamation on facebook now. What might have done is bring him support and empathy and guidance and help from others so that might be good but just the pronounce just putting yourself in a difficult situation. Socially to change your behavior in the long term I just don't see evidence that works reliably. What happened to the Guy I don't know actually I mean I didn't follow up and say you're doing that I hope he's okay We're now you know. Maybe I'll I think since that. I'm pretty sure it didn't work but It's it's things like that that people are led to believe Or they even to think. Okay if I just read. All the academic studies on Behavior Change. I'll be able to change my behavior. No if I understand neuroscience by read up on what's going on chemically in the brain then I'll be able to change habits. No Return. Neuroscientist would be the fittest must prosperous. Must grounded people. They're not so it's the other thing is that adds up to information alone does not change behavior reliably so it's not about an lack of information or even a lack of having enough motivation. It's about having a easy to do. Approach that you can do even on your worst days even on the days that you are stressed out you can still do the habit. You can still make progress. You can still feel successful and a way of designing those habits. And that's that's tiny habits is all about is cares it system. Here's how you designed for any habit that you want and it's yes you have to design the habit there's some pieces theresa okay. Let's make it really tiny. Let's find work fits in my day. Let me wired by celebration And that's not hard to do but people don't WanNa say there's a learning curve. There's a very gentle learning slope. A like what's the difference between doing ten pushups into? There's a huge difference. What's the difference between flopping all your teeth in one? It's a huge difference. It's just like when e commerce was really knew there were a different places you could buy stuff Amazon. Did one click. Then they won because of one click because they made it easy. There was a big difference. Between five clicks in one click and simplicity. There is a third maximum that I don't share in the book. There's only three and its simplicity. Changes Savior so just understanding that the easier. You make the new habit for yourself. The more likely you're going to succeed on so yeah I'm talking about simplicity. But isn't that simplicity and ease the same thing really? I mean mature. Sure sure to some extent. Yeah now you I break it down. Say there are five links in the ability chain. How much time does it take how much money they can and so on so? I break it down so I take things like motivation. I break it down and I take ability and I break it down and take prompt and break it. So these three really important components that comprise any behavior then to go further within that. Like what are the types of motivation? What are the factors in ability? And what are the different ways? You can prompt yourself so I love systems case. It was super natural for me to map out the system of behavior and then the subsets and then the process and create flowcharts. That are back out of the book that I can't argue in the book because really fine well because some people get intimidated. I guess by flow charts. So yeah I I. I do a little bit like I have to tell you when I was reading I was like to go through those charts a little bit like I was. GonNa like early pretty quickly to get to the information because I'm bad with it but like you know the thing that day willpower and discipline her. Also things right like people who are like really successful like a lot of people who may be listening to this or not it both are okay you know. I have a lot of discipline so I'm knock limited. I'm I'M GONNA work out at four and I'm going to knock check my email. They are very very structured and now throwing in this new door for them. Their whole structures obviously a lot. It's very throat off And they'll say off I have I'll use myself like okay. I'm going to be. I have a lot of discipline so discipline. I'm not gonNA eat that chocolate cake that my kids are eating because it's costly around my house. Now and it's it's it's like it's discipline. Willpower don't work long term. Brian and I've said that for a while that you know. It's not about focusing on discipline. I mean yes. You can exert willpower and you can use discipline in moments and their times. We really need to do that but to use it day in and day out to get yourself to workout or in a certain way or resist certain foods. It's a very unusual person that can do that and so great. It's nice bills. Are those kind of people in the world but for the rest of us which is the vast majority. Let's not fool ourselves and think we can rely on discipline or willpower to make lasting change because we're just deluding ourselves. And I'm not even by the way I don't need to only talk about like weight loss or working out. It's just like an easy thing to talk about just enough but also about being productive about it now Having get it being productive activities me give an example from an hour ago in my own life so here I am my life. Hasn't been that appended. Because I do so much from home. And so on. But still the distraction of the news and everything so I just found myself not really settling into work and it was like okay and I was wandering around the hustle but I was like this is weird for me so what I did. I did a tiny habit. I set a timer for seven minutes and the habit is to set the timer and then it was like okay during these seven minutes. I'm just going to prioritize what I need to do today. And so then I prioritize seven minutes and it became really clear to me what I was doing and what I was not doing and then I just over the next project so the habit that I've learned is one that works really well for lots of people because I've shared a lot of people probably figured this out on their own is by setting a timer for when you find yourself procrastinating or spinning your wheels or whatever you can trick yourself in to being productive and getting started by just setting a timer can be three minutes seven minutes twelve minutes whatever and you set it in the tell yourself well by still just want to wander on the House after seven minutes I will but guess what once you start getting some momentum. It's so much easier just to keep going so that happened to me today and I think is because there's so much going on in the news and then within tiny habits we've launched this global training series. That is just taking off big time and thinking a lot about that and and so boom but I was able to fall back on this habit. Get myself back to work and back to being productive cow. It wasn't a matter of discipline or will it was just. Maybe it was a matter of discipline for like three seconds to set the timer. It's like okay. Set the timer Donna. Do It yes. And so it wasn't long term. It was just in one single moment. Take the next step and get on my way and so that that worked well. In that seven minutes you wrote it to do lists. You will have a way of prioritizing so I just dove back into my already kind of done it this morning but I realized I didn't do it very effectively. So how do you retire him? I use stickers on card so I yes I have a whole this is oh my gosh prioritizes ask. People are better but for me. The way it works for me is anything that I want to do for sure. I write it down on one of these little stickers yellow is just for a normal task and then I have cards that are devoted to specific projects so one is to my Stanford lab and wants to this global training series and I have a boot camp coming up and put each sticker on the card. And then if it's yet you still have confidential information on it. I think at Catholic anyway. The yellow ones are tasks. The pink ones are things. I must do today so for example. If you WANNA get into this is funny. I have a really good friend here in Maui. She's ninety one and I just feel like I should call eight and so that's not productivity but it's important to me and so that's pink that means I got today it's going to be bad and then my stanford colleague from School of Medicine. We got six warning planning research to help older adults with chronic virus. Her name's Dante so I needed to fall Nancy for sure on her email today because she summarized research meeting so I did that so once it's done. I said the sticker aside and so the the blue stickers are things that can do really really quickly like my colleague Cana. I needed to ask her about something. So blue means these are just. GimMe Caesar's So it's a way of a ranging stickers and having projects on cards and then just sore it and then the color coding as well so if there's a time of my day where I feel like a little momentum a psych let me just do the Blue Ones I'm GonNa do all the balloons Bam Bam and feels good. I mean right you know people listening you succeed on a bunch of small things you get him off your plate Bam Bam and I try to be the hardest thing I mean. Prioritization is really hard But I worked really hard on my systems for it and I found that a digital solution just won't work like a physical wasn't these stickers. Try to be realistic. Like I don't have ten pink stickers. I have three maybe a day and then I try to make the key for me as make progress on the most important projects. It's not just gets done. It's Although I do like that system to the I like it is. It's no what is important and then make progress on those things in that means. There's a whole bunch of things you're not going to do and that hurts. Labor hurts a lot sometimes. But that's just what you gotta do. In order to have impact in the world and to move things forward is you've got to say notice stuff or just set it aside or say maybe some day I'll get to this like here's a colleague from Stamford. I won't name the name. But that's somebody that's a nice to do child. He's a neurobiology. Stanford as I go one of my labs at. Oh you should reach him. I'm like sure but it wasn't urgent And maybe I'll get to it someday. But at least with the stickers and writing things down yeah now I don't have to have any anxiety around this being undone. I know it's not going to get lost. It's there and that's no so you do that. Only when you had your seven minutes Heiner on like not to do it in the morning and I think this morning I just didn't do a thorough enough job of it because I was really looking at our global program and just trying to make sure the wheels were staying on because it's growing like crazy so I do it in the morning I prioritize and then again after lunch and then anytime I feel like I'm losing traction or just have a sense. I'm not on track. I just go back What are the top projects did An really only takes a few minutes but then when I died in. I have confidence that I'm working on the most important things because clot activity being busy people because we're doing busy work that being productive a lot of times. That's not really the case. But you are probably staying like your blue stickers for example. But they're not really. They're not important but they are. At least you're getting something done right. Yes they can be blue and pink okay. It's like vital things that could be both. But yes there are some bull dickers- that are not that important so they're just blue collars you like. You said like this. I'll just share an example. I shouldn't show this. There's somebody in my life who called me and she's been having panic attacks so I wanNA follow up with a and it won't. It won't take long to do. Let me set that one. Answer your phone airplane mode. Yeah I've done everything I know to stop. Incoming calls in spam They so the task can be really really fast to do but also very important. So there's somebody in my life that reached out. She's having panic attacks and it's not hard to check out. Our ended is super important so I put a so. It's pink but then I put a blue on over at so I know this is really fast vital. But it's fast so just get this done and move on. It's a as you mentioned your friend with panic attacks just not because she's having panic attacks that that's not good but what because. I'm sure you're getting called a lot if you're if you're behavior. Scientists people are quite calling off the hook right now. You'll phones played being blown up. Because how can you tell people who are super scared or super panicky or having a really hard time had a shift there Line sad or shift their behavior in a in a realistic way. Right I mean would you help we? Would you tell your friends when you talk to? Her will actually connecting her to one of our tiny habits coaches. That can help her. But it's funny. You would ask this question though because today. I'm talking about exactly this. I'm doing a little pilot program. I call it. Let's talk about habits and it's for people over sixty and I started it last week. No that's no accident it's for people over sixty are feeling very targeted and very afraid but the the kind of show it's it's zoom thing where they show up and it's light and it's goofy like yesterday where my bathrobe Show Intel and the purpose of very very serious but I wanna make a light and fawn and day. It's tiny habits for those moments of acute anxiety and that's what we're going to be talking about today now. I'm GonNa have some suggestions for them. But I like to have a very inactive teaching style. I'm going to bring them into rooms and small groups and have them share with each other and then come back to the groups. I'm going to pull from the wisdom of these older adults. What can you do in a single moment or in a short bursts of time if you have Bam surging anxiety and minar go out to nature? Get Out to do anything related to nature. That's one another one is to play a musical instrument. I'm not a good musician. But I know that playing a musical instrument matters and I have a range of instruments. I can play from the guitar. The OCALA to the recorder which not everybody loves. But that's my instrument of choice right now and Sub that hanging out with your dog for a while if you have a dog or a pet is great and then so those are three. That are two months for me for sure but some of us just managing it from the beginning from the very started this series. I was telling all the dealt stop watching so much. Tv News Understand TV news. Sorry networks not designed to bring you the most sensational stuff and my dad used to watch it at night before to bed. It's like that's the worst thing you could be doing. So yes there are things you can do in the moment and this is what I want to help the older adults today connect with so they have a game plan so they know boom and those moments where my anxiety. Just off the charts. Here's what I'm GONNA do. I'm GonNa play the guitar. I'M GONNA water my house plants. I'M GONNA go outside for a walk. I'M GONNA play fetch with my dog. Now there's I expect to hear things around meditation and listening to music and there'll be other things but the key I think especially now and especially for older adults anyone who's going to have these moments and I'm not talking something like panic attacks like this person in my life where I think something physiological there. There's a his it's not just krona virus. But what I want people to have is a game plan because we're all gonna feel super anxious And we isolated. I think to write like lots like my mom. She's by herself and Cam Canadian her by herself in Canada she's isolated. She doesn't play the Ukulele or any kind of instrument to can't walk outside because it's minus forty so she has no nature. She's not going to meditate what you like. What do people like that do when they don't have those options to them today and by the way she's one of those people that listen to the news twenty four hours a day and then Called me with like basically with every spy took Agency heard that this person's dying where this is happening what are they. What are those people do three hours from now? I will be much much smarter on this because I will have all these suggestions from all these people but let me give some examples. Here's some things That I used to do. I don't do these anymore but I did because there was a time in my life before I figured out tiny habits. There's a time my life. When I was really stressed things Stamford. I was under a lot of pressure for global conferences. I was organizing. I was doing a startup that raised a bunch of money for including It went under it was called the act. Pack it's a voice messaging service sort of a like Marco Polo is today and it was ahead of its time and I couldn't make it work but I'd taken money from investors including Mike family big mistake and on and on so I would. I was just anxious so what I would do is I. Would you know up at night? I would watch videos of puppies playing on the Internet. That super calmed me. I would in my Home Office. I put up these life size. I don't know where I found life-sized pictures of people's heads of all ages and nationalities and races and they're all smiling and on like wallpaper the top of my office with all these smiling faces because I know that if you have smiles around you it's going to like affect you so I I was doing all these things to cope. Then I got and I think this is a good one. I mean not. Everybody's GonNa Watch. You can watch puppy that is in. You can't get the faces but I got those coloring books. This is before they became like popular where I would Coloring books and I would color varies slowly and I would purposely not try to finish the picture you go slow as I possibly could. And just be in the moment. It was kind of meditation. So that for me worked out really well. So they're the so. I can suggest these things and this goes along very much with my book and tiny habits people need to find what works for them and so they might have heard. Yvonne watches puppies. Well that may or may not be the right solution for you. There is a systematic way to find the right things for you and and it's not as hard as you think but just sat about doing it and part of it is just trying it. Does coloring barely slowly work? Does watching puppy videos work. Does you know The trade reduce my stress just but have a game plan but you can figure out what that game plan is. Well I I I WANNA say everything. You always see what you're saying. It seems like it's pretty common sense but people have to be in touch with have some self awareness For the full route of everything you're talking about is like having enough self awareness to know at what kind of person you are woods. Wits POSSIBLY NOT GONNA WORK. And what's going to work and that's what we're setting the beginning of this podcast. Is that like you? Don't don't go listen to Buddhist monk top about meditation and think that meditation is GonNa be the panacea for your problems right. Because you've heard someone else do it if you know that you're not that person so like and for me like we're always staged Podcasts or wherever oh I meditate every day to to to keep me focused and calm and I I always say I I. It doesn't work for me. I that Yoga I'm such a type A. People like even need it more. You need it more than like. Actually I don't have tried it. Seventy Thousand Times doesn't work for me but Like my of you've been bringing that up or people who don't even know where to start. Wait you basically telling people just to start writing this list to. I could in mega systematic. Id make the steps from tiny office? I'll give you a really brief version. Just make a list in a moment where you're not stressed. Think wow if I'm super stressed and I could get myself to do any behavior. I could magically get myself to do any behavior. I call this magic. What would I have myself to? And don't just want list as many as you can. Let's money or thirty. Oh I would call my best friend from high school. I would tidy the kitchen counter. I mean tidiness does reduce. I would boom boom boom enlist as many options as you can even if you think there's no way. I'm going to tidy the kitchen counter when I'm stressed but don't but if somehow you were to do it and it did released list many many options and then there's a way to prioritize or sort the option that I call focus mapping and I'll just give a summary it's not the whole method but it's like what things could you actually get yourself to do so of the thirty options. Which ones would you really do? And then pick three or four and then triumph and so don't just guess on one like meditation and I'm with you on that there's just been too much. Meditation is the answer everything Yes. Meditation is Great Certain. People in experience helping people create the habit of meditation. It's mostly just they. Just get frustrated. It just highlights have busied there. It does not reduce their stress. It does the opposite. So EXP- explore many many options and then get realistic and say which one of these would I really do. And then try it and if it works keep going doesn't that's okay. It's not a failure just means try something out and but have a game plan like I even. When writing tiny habits there were times and writing the book where like Whoa. I need a break and I found myself just naturally picking up my recorder and playing and my partner learned when Bj's playing the record are in the middle of the day during work hours that means he's Chileans and he's getting ready to go back to work so that was natural nature. This is why in California. I live by a river in Maui. I live by the ocean. Getting in the Water Pam for me. That's transformative so but not everyone can do that. And that won't work for everybody. So final works for you more from our guest but first a few words from our sponsor so anybody who knows me knows that I love to wear my gym clothes as much as possible but of course there are those times when I have to look like an adult and where Nice workloads and. That's why I'm happy to tell you. I've found M Ller. 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Besides what you just said like what's your tiny habits. They knew besides ca two plus after you. Yeah or more we all have so many habits let me hit some of the might that might surprise. People okay Yeah first thing in the morning after EP and do the bathroom stuff. I play the recorder. I sit cross legged on my couch in the dark because disowning it's embarrassing for thirty and that's not like a virtual. I'm not bragging I'm just saying why just because we want to get up as like a four abbots. It'd be easier alarm. It's just like I'm looking at the clock at about three fifty eight. I'm like Wins Five o'clock coming so I can get up and go surfing disturbing. It is my partner. He wants to go to rowing. But anyhow it's so I get yeah I get up. And he's in his seventies and he loves it. Anyway I get up I just sit only fifty seven so we're not ten years apart so you've been talking about him. He's a huge part of my life. I mean we. We'll get back to my habits but the interesting thing is now with couples being like together so much my partner and I have been together twenty three hours of the day for last twenty five years so this is nothing new for us to be like all almost always together. Yeah and you know you learn how to do that. In their habits of how you make that work habits for relate until you have really good ways of developing good habits for relationships or brought in for weight loss you have a book habits for each one like life habits for the most serious well. But that's what my tiny habits coaches doing right now in a tiny habits to reduce anxiety. Tiny habits to endure lockdown. So they're taking the method and they're applying it to their areas of expertise tiny abbots to keep the kids entertained and so there are forty different sessions coming up just this week and so yeah. I have some experience but it would be presumptuous. Meet Osama relationship expert or away loss expert Success in my own life but there are other experts in the world who really know how to help lots of people and I don't want to just say here's what I have done. Do what I did. Because I as a researcher as a scientist I know the limits that approach is very very limited. You can't just take what worked for you. Prescribe IT for everybody. But there is a method that I'm one hundred percent confident in prescribing for everybody What this specific behaviors are for a relationship on lockdown. I'm not going to claim to be the expert on that well ours. I would imagine it now. I even from your old for me. Yes you can you can. You can obviously from your own practical experience. But what I'm asking is if you're talking to or dealing with over fifty thousand is you said you're you're you're you're basically have the behavioral lab in Stanford or not. Exactly a slouch out. Imagine with all those people's experience you would be able to like say from everything I've light picked up on humor the five things that I've learned from making a good relationship mink more productive. Were being more that you're right. I cried but I'm also very very careful about being clear. This is what my area of expertise truly as and then not making claims around things that maybe I have some really strong personal experiences. But I don't really consider like a world expert on relationships because there are people who are that and too often The fact that people write blog posts in even the box and they mislead people can't sell. I'm not I have to be very very clear about what I know for sure. And then in my own personal life of people come to me. I'll give you some So One of my high partners grandkids is getting married and we gave them advice. I'm comfortable doing that. And it's one of the pieces of advices. Guess what in your relationship? You've gotta find who's doing what it's not about how attractive you are anything. How much fun you. However you laugh together it really boils down to what you have to do on a day-to-day basis to make a household work and manage finances and get on the world and for every single required task. Somebody has to be happy to do that task. And so you really are looking out for complementarity So a fortune is my partner. Let's cook he's awesome cleaning? He loves to do laundry. He loves to GO GROCERY SHOPPING LOTTO. I don't do any of those things but then on the flip side when it comes to taxes in technology and I do all so one of the keys and this this isn't about habits but it's designing successful lasting relationship and we tell people in our lives. This is you gotta figure out who's doing what and you can't be fighting about whose taken out the trash. It's got to be very very clear. You can have those fights and so you got to either find somebody who's your compliment you're there or you negotiate and be very happy again. I'm the trash person are. I'm the tax person. Or what have you and when you have that? Then the day to day life goes really pretty well so he makes me breakfast every morning. All he cleans up. He won't even let me kitchen But then there's a whole bunch of things that I do that. Help the household move forward so that works out pretty well and I and I'll say one thing and stop and then were explaining to his granddaughter and her Fiance Psych and I wish somebody told me in my twenty S. This is what you're asking for. You're not looking for the most attractive person that when that makes you laugh the must that's Nice. You gotta be able to live day to day minute to minute in hack and so you're looking for a complimentary person. In that regard. I agree with that. However why is it against the one of those things where peak People know that in theory but then in real life they don't ev. They don't do that movies magazines. So much again. So much conventional wisdom that sets feel of and I look back and say. Why didn't anybody tell me this my twenties this absolutely? Yeah no I agree with you. I'm sorry I interrupted you. You're in town. I was like I was saying to earlier. That the reason why brought your APP brought him up. What's his name? Anyway I keep saying you're Demi Danny. I thought it was Debbie. Is that you you lock everything I've seen. The both Ted talks have watched the book A couple other interviews. A couple of other podcasts. You always meant its various is subtle but he always comes up so I can tell by just that you obviously have a very nice relationship. It had very complementary relationship because you. He's obviously very much in your life. I just noticed that I have a ton of respect for him. We in some ways on paper would never be matched. She's nineteen years older than I am. He finished high school. And that's it. I have three or four graduate degrees. I mean it's it's I mean it is. I've traveled. I speak three languages. He speaks Swan. I mean there's just so many differences like that but I've admired different ways of being smart and different ways of being intelligent Yom book smart. I'm really on tests. I'm good academically. But I haven't really stupid in some ways that he's brilliant in he is in the other master bedroom right now repo wallpapering and he can just kind of do anything. So it's helped me respect different kinds of intelligences death. Academics typically wouldn't and it's really helped me understand Now you different kinds of people so they may not speak standard American English or even know how to spell but I'm not going to discount them as not an intelligent person because he may have gifts. These local gifts gifts of crafts are Way beyond what I could ever do. And so I've come to understand that my kind of gift. Yes it gets celebrated and yes who get degrees and awards for it. But it's very limited and it's really overvalued to be honest any kinds of gifts my partner has you don't get awards are degrees for. But they're crazy valuable and I really respect that. That's really nice. Jurors people who are. I know people who are academically really smart but they are so they're so stupid in life like emotionally street smart and it's usually the people who are the most wise Usually are people who are not necessarily book smart but had experienced and had to develop other ways out. Well you know it's been a learning experience but Let's see habits in our relationships. Well one that might surprise people Is We set up every week? He does most of the work sometimes. I'll do it. But he sets up what we call Super Fridge and Super Fridge is a once a week. Cut Up the CELERY. Put it in a glass container onions putting glass kids steam. The Keno are getting ready so during the week like usually are my own lunch. I can go just open the fridge. Anything in there is ready to go. I'm ready to fix something or he can fix something really easily for dinner. So we're designing our environment in this case. The fridge environment make eating on our game plan really really easy to do so. That's one of the habits that we have and it's kind of awesome in fact included it in the book. It was a really weird thing to include My editors heard me talking about it. Like that's got on the book and it's like well it doesn't really fit in find a place for it so I did and it says the idea of sign your environment to make good behaviors easy to do and the way. The Fridge is Bullseye. For helping you heat on your plants design so it everything in there you can eat and it's easy to do it and no willpower disciplined to resist anything in the fridge or the freezer. So and together we evolved that We had different ways of doing super fridge and I had one way. He had a different way and we figured it out. We went with his over. But it's called I'd also food. Prep lemming you're like basically creating an environment where you're not gonna it triggers that that would make stale that you would otherwise fail at basically another thing. I would encourage people to do and I don't know again. I haven't taught thousands of people to do this. Aspire to this in your Closest relationship have a way that you can explore new habits in new ways of being without your partner saying. Oh you're going through a phase. Oh you tried that before. This never works. Support each other in exploring and developing your lives. And if you can do it together and if you can't do it together at least don't get sabotage by the other person. I'll give you a quick example two years ago. Oh how far shall I start two years? So our homes eighteen. Yeah home in. California is up in The wine country and we were not wine drinkers till we moved there twenty years ago and then I was like. Oh it's one country so we Develop at first. We couldn't drink wine at all. We developed taste for it and then it became drinking. Wine was pretty much daily practice for us. It wasn't like we're alcoholics. Are we are losing our livelihoods over it? But there was a point two years ago whereas like I think I'm this. It's so we would sit on our patio and California every evening just to chill and there was one night I didn't want to sparkling water and he's like Whoa what's going on and tonight it's like okay. The next night same thing I just have water. And he's like wow what's going on. You're not like going back to mormonism on me are you also. Yeah I just I just. I'm just not going to drink for awhile. I just don't want to and I didn't put any pressure on him but he didn't other than that remark. He said fine while two weeks later. He's like you know. I think I'm going to join you. I assume that's great so from then on. We stopped drinking entirely. There's really no temptation drank. There's no it was easier than I thought. The benefits were way bigger than I thought. But my point is he supported me and he did not sabotage me an assertive whom he joined in. But I didn't pressure NAG him. That was a pretty big shift And then last week was watching a show about being purely plant based so we've been vegetarian. Plus Fish for fifteen or twenty years we show and pretty convinced in one of my academic colleagues was on the show so I thought okay really admire. This governor David Katz with the academic colleague. I forgot the name of the show. I think David's Berbera very smart. When it comes to nutrition and I didn't even I know. Yeah he's great he's great and so I didn't even say much to my partner is like Oh this is really interesting. Guess what happened immediately. We stopped fish. We stopped all plant products. He started cooking just vegetables now and I was like awesome. I you know even eggs would have in the morning that became all like mushrooms and vegetables and all that so my point there as to era Vegan. Now now we're GONNA try and we might go back but the point is to be able to evolve together and if one person doesn't want to allow the other person to explore on expand and that's I think that's been one secret of our relationship. Is that supporting each other in In exploring and becoming figuring out new things in your life that you would like to like if he wants to call up awesome by quilting frame. Set of a quilting thing go forward. I WANNA play the record every morning. He's going to endure and he's okay with that right right right. So that's what those points it also sounds like. You're not like jumping down. Someone's like the road like you. I'm doing this. You have to lead by example lives down. This is not my academic can. I'm sure somebody knows this. Who studied it scientifically but in my experience that doesn't work nagging work the now when it came to corona virus. Yes I was a little ahead head of him and understanding handwashing and social distancing. So there's probably a week there whereas like wash. Your hands touched this where I really felt unusual like such a Nag. I never do it was it was just vital. So in that case. And then now we're both on the same page with this But there's a week there where it was kind of Nagy and I don't like it but if it's like what am I gonNa do? He's at risk risk but he especially so I'm GonNa do it so but in most cases don't Nag. Yeah doesn't work with your telling me I know That's trial and error. So then let's make so. Let's talk with Corona virus. Their Second Erica's you just brought it up again. Now what are you? What do you make of this whole thing because I know you have a lot of colleagues who are probably much more the know than I am? Even the media talks about and which you say that We were just too as a as a all. Would you believe that. The whole social distancing. Do you think it's over a piece and people are like all the other? They're they're blowing up to be bigger than is separate saying no. It's way worse than it is when you're my amateur opinion so I'm not a scientist us. We must take this really seriously really seriously and they effectively shutdown Hawaii today so if you arrive in Hawaii. Today you have to be quarantined for fourteen days whether you're a resident or a tourist and when they announced that. I was counting down the days to that. I could not wait. I woke up this morning. Okay now we're contained and we'll deal with the ones here And it's GonNa they shut down. The grandma Maui is the number one destination grant widely has the number one hotel. The people up they shut. It can hurt lots of people. But what's the alternative just even worse? So that's my view. It's like this is really painful but the fast people take it seriously the fast get through. Get back to something better. That's my view until we're taking it really seriously. And for social distancing in fact one of our friends walked up on this morning and we waved back. We're like no and he probably was. He's not taking seriously as we are and he's like wow but so that that's what we're doing and just just we have to. I think we have to do You've been you've been noticing but this whole toilet paper frenzy right. People are like people's behavior has been. I mean I feel like maybe it is kind of tempered a little but as a behavior or your behavioral scientists. Why do you think people It's at a panic and fear right. That people are buying all the toilet paper and like a hand sanitizer. You stores these. The shelves are obviously as you know the empty. I have to stand an hour in line to go inside a grocery store where there's literally no grad or no eggs for a week now like where does that like is it just. It's just human nature that people that is so I mean. Fear is a motivator. It will get you to do hard things and we'll get you to do unusual things like take a bunch of toilet paper horrid his sanitizer or and it's especially when you are responsible for somebody else like a mother for a baby or a family. Yeah fear is a very effective motivator. Bear they're effective. If it's just you alone there are people as as whatever you know but the fear in my sense of how it works is if you are responsible for another human being especially baby or someone. You love a lot. Then you're GonNa do things even extraordinary thanks to protect that person and I think that's what was driving that mostly like my family have to be prepared for my family. I don't think people are hoarding. Yes probably individuals living alone. Were Hurting I. I would wager if you measured. Who was you know buying the hand sanitizer and toilet paper in panic mode? It was probably people who were responsible for others. And they were driven by that sense of duty or obligation. I figured also people who if outs gave them a sense of control on the whole world was kind of falling apart. He both out light if they were back. It's like when people have an eating disorder. Same thing right like they can control one element. That's what they're going to control all the times right like the food intake or the amount of toilet paper I can. I can take some of his shelf or you'll like that type of thing is taking care of Yes we have. Human Nature and there are vulnerabilities in human nature like fear but we also I wanNA put some of the blame on our national leaders. Who did not were not clear about. Here's the situation. Here's what to do to prepare. Here's what you don't need to do so in that vacuum people just grasp for Straw. So I some of the blame is clearly at the national leadership level. I agree with that. I also interrupted you. 'cause I were talking about your partner but your own personnel daily habits. Would you do daily besides the why? Why do you wake up? You Go to go surfing? You play a recording recorder border. Let me give a rundown of morning habits. I do think morning habits are the most important so I get my feet hit the floor and I say it's going to be a great day. Yeah seven and it's funny because I look out and if the moon's out I can actually see them on the water and I say it's going to be a great day and I'm kind of like Oh that's the Maui. Habit of thousands of people Then done how long have you done that for that? Have you done that now? We have it for six years six or seven years probably a yeah it it really works and I know it sounds like some people but then the next thing is I sit cross legged on the couch and it's in the dark usually and I play my recorder and that from a kind of meditation and I play a ten record. So it has a pitch. That's very much like a man's voice outside I'll just play long tones. And then maybe I'll move into some songs or I'll tell Alexa to play James Taylor and I'll play along with James Taylor so I'll play anywhere from five minutes to thirty minutes. Whatever strikes me I play the recorder. Oh I didn't take I take a big drink water before all of this with With some electrolytes I delay my coffee because one of my asleep expert friends Michael Bruce Advise. You can delay coffee. It's better for you so I- delay the coffee for an hour or so. Okay so I really respected admire. Him gave me that advice. I can do that because I know how to habits. I know how to delay the coffee so I did. And then my partner Comes out. We'll like read news on ipad and talk and stuff and then I get ready to go surfing and have a way of putting everything in those little plastic carry all in. I walk out again. My Honda Element Surf on the way to the waves. I'm shaving so that's when I shave is they're very specific moment. It's back when I pass the grandma. That's the moment when I start to shave because I hate shaving and if I hear home something they won't do it so while I'm driving in shaving and then that allows me to prevent sunscreen if I needed that. Morning was surfing motivates me to shave so surf awhile and then on the way home. I called in. Nsf coming home. He starts making breakfast than we have breakfast together. And then Bam workday begins. What time is that? We started work day this morning. It was six but that was the meeting with Stanford Medicine People that that's that was unusual. I would say about eight thirty eight thirty or nine. I'm Sarah into work mode so they might come in and there's a process that I do Of going through a bunch of emails and then. I prioritize so I kind of clear the decks. I prioritize and yeah. There's a lot of emails I need to respond to but I just kind of get clear on that because I have to see the incoming emails demands to know what before I prioritized so I have to see what what Dak prioritize and then Bam. Just start knocking it off do you have. It's time when you stop work altogether to matter if you're in Hawaii At Zero Appear in California what time to finish some it would probably be in Hawaii. It's earlier I mean it's five o'clock cure and then it'll be eight o'clock in California and New York. Nobody expects me to be responding It's usually around five. If I'm California might be six thirty and at that point then go out to the ocean and swim. I'll get in the ocean again. I'll go in and just hang out on the beach in almost always get in the because that provides me and a point my partner starts cooking dinner and then maybe I'll calls somebody or take somebody. I'll do some social connecting with friends and family And then we just. I don't go back to work once I stopped work. I don't think I'm done and I think that's really helpful. Just like when when I partner has learned to say are you done with? He's learned to not say are you done with it's like denny? I'm never done a researcher. Innovator person's work is never done what you should is. Are you ready to stop? Yeah so stop. And sometimes we'll go to the beach together and then at that point it's not professional work. It'll be more right. Thank you play the flu some more or whatever so then it's been and I don't feel like this nagging sense of. I should be doing work because I just checked out of it until the next morning when I get back to it. Yeah do you think more at night routine is important while or not as important as morning is more important but a good nineteen matters as well and But I think I mean part of having a great morning. It's doing the right thing Lou night and search. Go to bed pretty early. It's embarrassing how early. Well there's this thing fortunately my way like eight o'clock is called Maui midnight to the culture here. Is you go to bed early once it gets dark here. There's nothing to do so you go to bed so you can get up early and play at four thirty in the morning like you. Did you go to bed at eight o'clock sometimes? Seven thirty symptoms seven fifteen. Got Everything that is just embarrassing. But they're like okay. It's dark we could just watch stupid. Tv and we watch a little. We liked the voice. We like the cooking shows. He lets cooking. And so we'll watch some very lightweight. Tv because we laughed together so it's not like owning out we're we're laughing were talking will stop or replay things like. What are you in? So it's a time for us to interact around things going on TV but then at some point one of us says let's go to bed and it can be pretty early in usually. It's like Manna really GONNA go bad. This early don't tell anybody that we're going to bed early day person. Obviously yeah I didn't use to. The would be very surprised years ago if I said. Oh you're going to be happy to get up at four thirty or five and it would be effortless. Yeah so things change. Absolutely I'M GONNA I. I will wrap it up to ask you a couple more days than it. I'll let you go but because I think I WANNA know. What of all your experience. What is the most common thing that people wanted to either behavior that they wanted to either Jane or loose well. I've actually done brighter of research in my Stanford lab on this and it turns out for different types of people. It's different parents. The number one thing that POPs in at least self report kind of research with parents is. I want to help. Prepare my child to succeed in the real world. And that's better than I want to be a good parent. Yes they want to be a good. But when it's phrased of I want to help child succeed in the real world down. They of course parents want that. But we found actual phrasing of that matters. Many many people want to lose weight but the express it is getting fed or eat better at a and then I think if you push on that further and we didn't do it in the research. I think it's not actually what shows up on the scale. This is part of what I try to get across tiny habits and elsewhere is like is it really. About what the scale shows or is it something is it more energy if so designed to have more energy if it's a look better to your friends then designed for that and so. John Stone assume that weight loss is the thing. Look at that harder and see what you really want. Almost everybody wants to be financially secure our case. I want to be financially. Secure advance their career. That's that's widespread And then you have people who have Eating or substance issues that they want to stop or decrease I would consider those four of the the big areas that apply to lots of people seem to be dealing with a lot of companies in going into corporations like we did with weight. Watson is usually like once through line that you see a lot of companies are trying to improve upon or Yeah it depends on the company so with financial companies the good ones and I only worked with companies that I think are doing good things in the world so I worked with two Raila good financial very large organizations and what they both had in common rightly was to help their members. Customers have a five hundred dollar emergency fund yes. There's many many many things that people maybe not many many many there are things that people should be doing to be financially secure but what they rightfully understood was without that emergency fund of about five hundred dollars when something goes wrong then it's a domino effect of so many other financial problems so both organizations they then prioritized. Let's help our members or another case customers. That's helped them create habits so they will have this emergency fund. And that's first and foremost and I didn't do this. Somebody dead Forgot the exact percentage. But it's a massive number of Americans do not have that they don't have four hundred dollars to drawn if it could get sick or they blow a tire. Whatever so so. That was Thematic within the financial services within employers Kenya. Airs ago it used to be about diabetes and helping people Pre diabetics not become diabet- become people with diabetes and then that shifted vibe or six years ago to stress anxiety and mental health or resilience. I'm using those all as synonyms and what happened really quickly and I think it happened. I in Silicon Valley and then I just heard it from so many well. I work with a lot of wellness. Laters it's We have we have resilience. We want our employees to be resilient we need. It's mental health. It's as people are stressed out and that became far more important than what somebody Wade. Or what they aid. Or the cost of somebody with diabetes as an employee because that just swamped on everything else and I think we're still there now with corona virus even more so within the employer population That has emerged as just super super important. I'll stop there so financial is huge and then so much of our wellness programs get get administered through large employers. That's was a thing that they were just asking for an asking for right and also because I think a lot of Entrepreneurs who might be listening to this I think those are true. Right for companies like stress. Resilience all these would you have you. Give THEM FOR A. Is it the same behavioral model that finding your block that you that you give people are? How do you work with people like that room? The good news is there is an answer but it's a process. It's not just a single answer like all employees must meditate way. Know about those are some of the answers they've been given us like no not everybody's meditate and when Moore Journal yeah there are powerful things like journaling ingratitude and so on. But the processes help employees find what works for them so again. We're back to matching asking people with now. I've long been advocate of. Let's hey people. Create programs employs can work from home. Well Bam that finally happened because of me but because of corona virus and. I'm hoping that many many people who are learning to work from home won't go back to the stressful commute or the mindless meetings that they would have to do if they are on side and that their rights will be improved because they work from home. They're not driving. They're not stressed out from all that time. And so I'm hoping that. Through this crisis there will be habits like that that emerge that will be helpful and will hang onto those. Yeah well I mean I've kept on the phone for a long time But I I can go on and on but I don't going to get into right now but all as you promised to come back and have a whole other libby of questions to ask you but do people okay for your book is available Everywhere Right. Now right they'll walk tiny habits so yes If you can might be impossible or an Afghan at your local bookstore if you can if you can and then yes it's at Costco and it's an airport or not going there either and you can get online type escalator these days. I'm GonNa tell you that's what he appropriate to say. I'm GonNa Costco Note. Stay away so yeah tiny habits it brings together so much of my work over the last twenty years in a way that I think is really approachable. And what did you write this? Walk for? God's sakes it took a long your first tech talk was eight years ago home Well it I'll tell you the truth. The true answer. The true answer is because I felt I was innovating and discovering things so much. I DIDN'T WANNA turn off that Faucet of innovation. Spend the two to three years to write the book. Because it's like here's this. Here's this is edited Busy with projects and with this and in some ways it's kind of selfish because it's really intoxicating. Here's the next piece of the puzzle around human baby so I just felt like that kind of stuff was going so well that I didn't want to pause it for the two years. It really does take two years to write about but then I had this. That's I talk about in the last chapter of the book that caught me cred motive end. The dream is this and it's in the last chapter. I'll give it away in the midst of doing the research teaching and feeling like I was innovating lot. I had a dream one night that I was in a plane and the plane was going to crash and Danny was not with me in the dream and I was hundred percent convinced I was going to die any moment and the reaction to dying at any moment was not. It's going to be painful or I'm GonNa Miss Denny or what's GonNa Happen to my little dog. Millie it was regret. It was deep deep regret for not sharing my work widely in in a way like a book can share it and I woke up from that house. Like I'm so glad it's dream but has like. Oh my gosh. That was my reaction regret for not putting this together in a way that kid in Peru could use it or somebody who is trying to change. Echo behavior in China could use it so in the morning I told Denny said the stream and heroes my reaction and then it was about two weeks later. I mean I've been approached by agents and publishers and I was like no no time. He's GonNa Right. But then this guy named Doug Abrahams got me turns out to be exactly the right agent for me. I didn't know that until we met. And then it's like Bam here does so it's lined up and then Doug has great promise in we mapped out the book and we wrote the proposal we set a schedule for the writing and everything when exactly as planned and Bam so so it was a dream. It was a dream and just a recognition. That really woke me up to got to get this book. I've got to get my stuff out in the world and so right so I feel like a lot of this. What you find. Tiny habits was like grew up Mormon culture and as a Mormon. It's the way I was raised. Was where much is given much is expected. I know that's not unique tomorrow. But that was really really really drilled it to me and that we're here on this planet to serve other people and so. I think that's why that was my response in the dream and I really have felt over the years at this. I haven't discovered the behavioral model in tiny habits. And all these things. Because I'm so smart. I think these things were given to me and I have responsibility to share them. And that's what the dream was waking up to like. You have not shared this and you better get with it and so that's so I was able to pause and set aside innovation projects in research projects. I know I gotTA focus on this. I I I've gotta do this So that's put finally got me to do it. I was surprised as you know. Your tent had like a million and a half or something like that. The big time and the other came out the power of habit right and the guy wasn't even a scientist or had your pedigree so I found. Let's be very curious curious when that was like after I watched I was like I really liked you. I was like why. Hasn't he done anything? I don't understand well I mean it was just that sense of I. Don't WanNA stop that innovation. I don't WanNa stop the learning and discovery and tell that happen. Thank you you got to now. The good news is the learning innovation. Discovery turned back on so not like not like a well. Run drives a faucet that I turned off and turned back on. Its and so I really really and thank you for a inviting you to talk to you. Because it is a responsibility. I have to help people understand that. Yes you can change your behavior. It's easier than you think. There is a process for it. And you do it by feeling. Good not by feeling bad and all that you heard about behavioral change. A lot of you should just forget about anything that made you feel bad or guilty. Forget about it. That's not how you really change your behavior in the long term. And that's what I believe what I loved about your You is that it's very it's it's anybody can do. It really is. Anybody has the ability to have a small. It's a small little win smaller changes and you know it's easiest doing to push ups after. Up or waking up by the Maui. Abbott which is saying today is going to be a great day right on the tiny things transform. You maybe in the next when we get back together. We'll talk about how that works and how I know that works. But what essentially happens is even as you feel successful in these tiny things your identity shifts the way you think about yourself changes to be much more positive the way you deal with challenges or opportunities in your life shifts and it doesn't have to be massive changes that get you there. It's these tiny things as long as you feel successful at them that then leads to all these other positive things and that's what the subtitles about the small changes. That change everything. It's the way you process the world where you feel emotions. The way you experienced emotion that I call shine and you do that by displacing one to doing push ups pouring a glass of water. Not by running marathons or You know taking twenty thousand steps every day. Now it's Momentum right when she star you can send you right. That's the whole thing right as a big part of it. It's it's a change in your ability to change your confidence to change and really important that shift in identity that something. I saw research pretty early and I wish little sewage by it. People are changing their identity within five days. Because that's what the program was launched in two thousand eleven five day tiny habits program and I had to look carefully and it's like Yep people are thinking about themselves differently and then that leads to perceiving the world than Acting in the world differently with the much ripple effects is that. Why when you say that will be no. Today's the Mary Abbott. You've named after your friend abode stepping stepping on the floor and saying today's going to be a great day it does it. Does it change the synapses or neurons in your brain to be more positive are what is it now? I think I'll just think you set an intention and or if you're feeling doubtful you at least you open the possibility and you will have a great day so it's just seven words but I'm some of my friends who are really into intentionally that like. Oh you're setting intention it's just exactly right And and that Some of these things Like the practice of celebration. The MAUI habit started as techniques and then we can look back and explain why they work and that's totally a legitimate way to discover stuff. You don't have to do an experiment. In fact it's really hard to do an experiment. The tiny habits method came out of a hacking stuff like. Let's hack the behavioral attack. What the prompt is. Let's hack emotions in worked and then you can explain why later it worked. It didn't start from reading theory on deriving a method. Okay so academics are not going to like me for this but facebook twitter. Google instagram zoom does not start as theories and then they. They started as practical hands on things and we can look at them and say why they work. That's how tiny habits evolved as well. It was like it was a set of techniques that worked it did not get derived from theory and so many people think. Oh we have to read all the theory in them will know how to do the techniques. That's like let's read everything up plants in the world. Then we'll learn great cooking techniques and you can explain those may be conceptually but you actually work with people who know the techniques lead to great dishes. Those start with theory and then try to derive a method from theory. I hope I could. I don't hate me for saying that but that that's how you create things that really work. I mean look at the everything you know things that are really popular. People use did not derive by reading theoretical papers. You're not offending me. Just any academic. Some people will be maybe gave a cat would be upset. Or it's not worth me. Probably though I attrition and where you can actually measure. Physiology is a kind of a different thing. Social Science. Social Science is way harder than Physical Sciences. So she does not get the credit for that. But it's way harder than chemistry astrophysics Radovic. 'cause you're dealing with human beings dealing with all these variables you can't fully control so absolutely not. I mean that's I mean that's why I love you because you're very on instant your real and I really love having you on this podcast. So thank you for taking all this time out. Talking to me in everybody and I'M GONNA I'm GonNa Harass you again though I not to talk to you again. You have such great questions and you put me totally at ease and I shared things I showed before so there you slap. I'm so happy to hear that compliment for me. You have no idea. I'm so happy to hear that I really am. I loved your book and I honestly would if you stay in that too. If it wasn't true and I really do think everybody can get something out of it and it can really tweak and help people's Habits and behaviors ship for the better especially in a time like now. Let me tell you right. So thank you tell dem say hello making you bring is making. Everyone goes needed. Any email thing I need a denny. I do maybe income to La after the smoke. Quarantine things all over. I love it. I would love to meet Danny Battalion for you. Sounds amazing. I'LL GO KILL THEM. Featured in the show he definitely was. He was a star. Actually people find you if they want to know more about about websites. Pj FOG DOT COM and tiny habits dot com. That's probably those are probably the easiest ways and you also have these tiny coaches ninety headed hoses like some young people can certify with me and train become certified coaches starting point there is still tiny habits dot com and so we as coaches just an amazing community man. They're stepping up to the plate right now. I'm so proud of him. That's amazing that's a whole other podcast. Right there but Articles Dixon Habits and hus- Tom Akita Ronin. Stay up on the cry. Don't stop keep it going. Habits us from Minnesota hosted by Jim Cohen visionaries. Tune-in gets not be inspired. This show moment excuses. We haven't met the habits and cast power have this.

partner Maui California Bj Fox facebook Ted Talk Jennifer Cohen Hawaii high school Stamford WanNa Dr David Sobel Florence Jim Europe Tedtalk Stanford New York Amazon
Using Nutrient-Dense Food for Detoxification with Dr. BJ Hardick

Dr. Jockers Functional Nutrition

31:22 min | Last week

Using Nutrient-Dense Food for Detoxification with Dr. BJ Hardick

"Hello and welcome to the doctor. Yakkers functional attrition. podcast the show designed to give you science based solutions to improve your health and life. I'm dr david yakkers. Doctor of natural medicine. Chiropractor and function attrition practitioner and on the host of this podcast. I'm here to tell you that your body was created the heal itself and on this show we focus on strategies. You can apply to gay to heal and functioning your best. I'm excited about today's podcast. But before we jump in. I wanted to remind you to download this month's special gift at dr jockettes gift dot com from kito meal plans smoothie recipes fasting quickstart guides. We have a new complimentary gift every single month to get your gift simply visit. Dr dockers gift dot com. That's d r shea k. e. r. s. g. i f. t. dot com. Thanks for spending time with nick. Let's go into the show. You guys know all about having great energy and mental clarity and really great skin as well. And that's why he's organic regius and this is something that i give to my children as well. It is a superfood berry. Blend of premium organic superfoods may contain potent adapt jin's in antioxidants helps promote energy with zero caffeine. Only two rams of sugar. It has freeze dried. Berries like blueberries asai berries pomegranate raspberries. It has beats beats have been shown to help help your body clear up toxins they also act as a cardio protective food and a powerful food for the brain they help increase nitric oxide which improves oxygen delivery to all your muscles your heart your liver your brain which helps give you better energy better mental clarity and beats are great for help helping thin out your byles we have good. Bile flow seeking can eliminate wastes effectively on top of that. It also has quarter sapp's court. Saps is a medicinal mushroom with incredibly strong adaptive genetic qualities in fact in nineteen ninety-three. The chinese women's olympic track team was accused of being on steroids for their incredible performance. But it turns out. They were using the all natural apps mushroom. It's again on natural. It's safe flavourless. Mushroom drive into a powder and it's in this organic In in a clinical dosage of it and also on top of that. They're siberian ginseng. Also known as you'll lose throw. This is another adapt gin. That's found in asia. It's popular in russia for the last fifty. Years is a hormone balancing herb. with outstanding health benefits. it's been shown to improve immunity in the body and increase mental and acuity. We could all use that right on top of that. It has rishi mushroom. Which is the queen of mushrooms. A powerful adapt agenda promotes in increase in energy. It's also called the grounding mushroom because it has a lot of balancing properties on our hormones honor stress hormones on our blood sugar and on top of that this organic fire. Red juice has rodeo one of my favorite adapted jin's for physical endurance and increase. Mental clarity focused thirteen superfoods altogether. All one hundred percent usda certified organic. Now how i use this. As i will take a stupidest put it in some water and i will drink this right after lunch really helps give me that boost a lot of times. People are getting tired after lunch for me. This really gives me a great boost. Mike kids drink a half a scoop of this twice a day in the morning with their breakfast and then also with their lunch and it really helps support their immune system and keep them super healthy guys. Check out organically reggie's just go to organic by dot com forward slash. Dr shockers and use the coupon code. I for twenty percent off this product or anything else you get from organic fi guys. You are gonna love this. It's gonna be a game changer. For us to check it out organically reggie hey friends. This podcast is actually an interview. That i did a few years ago for a project that worked on called the kito edge. Summit kiddo edge summit was basically where i interviewed it was like thirty six forty of the top kito experts in the world. We talked about all things kito. He talked about how to get the best results out of the diet. We talked about biohacking strategies to do to help improve your digestive system now improve your brain health. Your energy really get the most out of life and so this interview is with one of my good friends who is an expert him many different areas. And you'll see as as we dive into this topic just Just how deep we go and quality of the content that she get in so just reminders. Roughly i think i did these interviews like two thousand seventeen two thousand eighteen years old but the content is just as relevant. And i know that will make a difference in your life so you will enjoy this content and he wouldn't mind just leaving us rating review. Your reviews really really counts. They mean the world to us and help us get seen by more people. So if you just go to your apple itunes player and rate us and leave a review. That will really help us Just be able to help more people and get this information out to the masses. Thank you for doing that. And enjoy the podcast. Hello everybody here. We are at the kito edge. Summit were weird dispelling the myths and helping empower people to get the health benefits of living akito genetic lifestyle. I'm your host. Dr david dockers with my good friend here dr. bj harvick. And we're at the fountainhead. Life university were both both of us. Went to school and bj actually has one of the largest chiropractic and natural health clinics all the world and he was a mentor of mine. Actually while i was going through school and just an extraordinary guy wrote a great book that really dives into a lot of ketogenic principles called the maximize living nutrition plans that was published in two thousand nine right before anybody who's really talking about akita jack diet isn't a correct in two thousand nine and we did not we did not feel a need to Referred to the term chitose at that time in a few years though we needed to we we didn't with a lot of concepts in two thousand nine that had it really made it to the forefront. Your app were scraping the surface of it. But i think the world's become a lot more aware since two thousand nine south. Yes anyway by the time. This interview gets that working on a new book anyway to really address. A lot of twenty-first-century needs that people have definitely. But you know. I mean ancestrally. Speaking people always looked at these types of principles. But i think it's great now that we're looking at you know how to more specifically adapted. Apply these people that are looking to overcome disease. Get in the best shape of their wife and know that they're not just dancing with certain concepts but that they can actually apply these things clinically and scientifically in the great health results to yeah absolutely and let us know about like. What kind of results have you experimented with. Genetic lifestyle low carb. Yeah different. Things like that fasting. A lot of the strategy talk about tell it. Tell us about your store and you have health journey yourself. Sure helps so. The first thing. When i was when i was diagnosed with very very extreme mercury toxic. Be about ten years ago is obviously learned from some of our mentors that the best thing to do was get off. Sugar get off grains. I'll get into more of a fat based diet. basically we didn't call it akito genyk diet but i mean i eliminated all grains alienated a higher sugar fruits. I started strictly consuming quality animal products plants. Fats nuts seeds so forth. Basically a paleo lifestyle and i was. I was a distance runner as well. And i noticed right away that i had when my energies started shifting. I'd so much difficulty running those first few. We asked because my body was so used to just living on sugar and living on grains and we would do the past as as a recovery meal and we would. Do you know oatmeal that morning of a ride and all these things so was really difficult shipping. Were at our member enquiring with a lot of sports. People that i knew asking. Is this even possible. Can somebody being athlete. If they're just thriving on basically quality low starchy carbohydrates. Quality fats proteins. And of course the answer is yes so that was some of my experience doing it more from like an athletic perspective. Then when you talk more about fasting though you know. I never even really give any consideration. I live in north america like most people. He eat three meals a day. And then i started examining the principles of fasting. And i didn't really have any health issues. That led me to fasting but i wanted to see how i would do. Yeah and it made sense to me that yet in ancestral times you would have been very overly blessed if you could have had three meals a day because they always would not have been there and i thought yeah that makes sense that might get you take a little bit of a break and really within a couple of weeks. I couldn't believe how quickly you realize. I don't have to have that meal and hunger pangs a psychological thing and that we have so many so many social cues that you should eat. And when you're supposed in all these things and your body conducted very very quickly. Yeah absolutely. I mean around the time that you were writing the book. Yeah i actually was going through my own health journey irritable bowel syndrome and as i was learning how to heal it. You know. I just noticed that. When i wasn't eating i felt significantly better in fact i would actually. I actually went through a period in. I think it was two thousand seven where i would only eat in a basically a four hour eating window from three to maybe seven o'clock this way before anybody was talking about the assuming key toasts and i would drink a gallon of water. Between the time. I woke up and new york and i would work out intensely in the morning and all i would do is just hydrate and i was here at this school i can adversity and i had this big gallon jug of water that i bring everywhere and all my colleagues were like. Wow you're getting really starting. They see me working out in the gym and levels. We're going through the roof. And i kept telling them. I thought it was the water. I thought it was actually the super hydration that i was doing that extending out the sarker. Amir's helping with more explosive contractions and maybe that was a component. I had no clue what a key tone was obviously never learned. That and i was actually getting my master's in sports nutrition. While i was here okay and i was telling my professor was right now. Telling her what i'm doing and she's like oh there's just no way you're running off like gin. You're you know you're just running off like janaki tones but i was seeing these results right. And then so. When it came out in the forefront you know what i mean like. This is exactly what i was doing. It just made made complete sense one thing that you told me any. You're still in school because we've known each other for a long time. Is that oftentimes. When people think that they're hungry it's it's it's all it's all mindset it's sorta social cues you're thirsty and you had indicated that those two in your hypothesis. Yes getting a veteran center and your center right next to each other in the brain hypothalamus and so in our society. I've never scott never forgotten. We dopamine hit every time we eat which is like a drug so we get that high and so food is so prevalent so of course. We're going to go for the dopamine hit which is eat food as opposed to drink water. Which obviously doesn't give us the same sense asia so absolutely so you know you really do. Look at you say you know. It's all about acknowledging. How was the body supposed opry efforts place. You know zach. I deeply believe the can express the greatest health when it's living in an environment and expressing the principles that really were designed for the body in the place and the reality is in our ancestral times. The body would not have been consuming three meals a day. If you're a king you got your three meals a day but that's probably a lot of the disease chapel exactly rightly so the moving were highlife people if they got one meal a day. Yeah that was awesome. I mean and so absolutely. And so i know you work obviously with different clients. All over the place in your clinic is in london ontario. Yes right and talk about your experience working with people and really helping them. Adapt more of a ketogenic and nate lifestyle using intermittent fasting. Things like that sure. Well the first thing just trying to move towards more of a ketogenic lifestyle when you're actually eliminating grains and sugars is even though there's a lot more awareness right now people still freak out when they're told you can't have grains you can't have sugar right and a lot of times people say well wait a second you know. These are foods of the earth. The mother nature gave us pineapples and oranges and pears. And all these things we tell those be bad for you. And i always go back to this and and i think first of all you have to recognize that people have different. Genetic backgrounds are gonna processed foods differently They're going to have different types of metabolism. Some people based on where they're where they're from the world may do better with one type of food than another but in principle when you think about the higher sugar foods and the ones grains that turn into sugars. You know the reality is you know. I'm a northern caucasian. I would not be from a part of the world are pineapples are growing year round saying well what would my culture have thrived now it starts to get a little dicey when through the years. Go on twenty two in me and you find out that five percent this. I said it's not always necessarily black or white. So i do believe in listening to your body and seeing how you should in the first place but the first thing is when you tell people to eliminate these foods that they could. Actually you know a mother. Nature's foods are god's people say well that's not right because i'm supposed to eat those tax and the reality is you have to also differentiate not just. How's your body's supposed to eat but are you really trying to deal with some type of illness or a disease because there are certain illnesses that can do better under certain diet programs even though those changes are associated with the cause of the best one for example is sealy people if need gluten but consuming. Gluten doesn't cause ceac right so same thing with you know if somebody has information and they have gall bladder issues while they probably shouldn't have a ton of fat all at once but just eating fat. Your whole lifetime isn't going to give you those gallbladder so we could go on and on and on about that i. I had a friend who was dealing with cancer not consuming any fruit. Well we've never suggested that consuming fruit gave you the cancer. But we do know that getting into this state where your body's not having relied on sugar is going to benefit the immune system to help nutrition. Yeah exactly so so you have to look at it. I doing this for some clinic. Some clinical name. Or am i doing this because it is just the way my body was designed writers and then certainly i can tell you that you know. I figure that you know looking at my genetic lineage. I probably am designed a couple meals a day and you know what they're probably meant to be morio higher fat and carbohydrate. So that's so i often introduced the change by just saying just change it. Those meals to eliminate higher sugar fruits a lot of the grains and then start looking at fasting if you kind of do in a two step process there just because for some people making a giant change. If they're watching this much age at least just get those higher sugar. The irish sugar foods out and then the next often can be if you're really trying to go hardcore. Obviously you're a smoothie king. So am i king movie this movie king so stay away from sweden trying to janika syria. Everything tremendous amount of sugar so so but being movie fanatic. I should say slew king at your house. Yes the king of the smoothie. That's right so i once said wait a second. I really wanna go hardcore on this. And i was actually dealing with some imbalanced bacteria my mouth so i see a holistic. Zandt one of the preventative check-ups they do. Is they. look at the bacterial slobs in your mouth and all of a sudden one year. Just my back. You'll cultures my mouth. Were not doing very well at all. I had no detectable cavities that. They got him. But i said well. That's a warning sign for other problems. I said that's it. I went hardcore. And i limited berries for my smoothies and that really was with higher sugar. I was happy. And i did that for. We were all thinking berries. Yup berries on. They're not going to contribute to this. But two things that i noticed two things that i noticed that oral culture came back a perfect next time through and i didn't miss them by the thai. I mean literally. I really started to say what it might sound a little ridiculous. But i was thinking wait. How much money am i spending on. Barry's i'm not even testing now. You do get benefits by consuming berries. So let's not say people anti berry all the time and for some people they metabolize barry much easier than other people. The on how much activity average genetic lineage. But for me that was one change. Yeah when i. When i quit eating oatmeal this is when i started doing more for keita Type of lifestyle. And then i went to add it back in just because i was at a heavy outdoors weekend. I want a health so sick. Used to eating too much of some of the stuff. You shouldn't have just wanted to take a moment and interrupt this podcast to tell you about one of my new favorite products. It's the paleo valley to merrick complex. If we're going to thrive in life we gotta keep inflammation under control. We know that. Chronic inflammation is at the root of every degenerative condition and america's the most well studied herb for supporting a healthy inflammation response in our body. It really supports good. Healthy blood flow joint health brain function our ability to have a healthy mood nameri mindset and so when we look at what's out there on the supplement market when it comes to most of the supplements are using one isolated compound called curcumin and curcumin is really really powerful however what most don't really fully understand is that to merit co food based america has nearly three hundred other beneficial components other than just curcumin now. 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These herbs also are great for supporting healthy inflammation the immune system. They're great for the brain and they're also great for blood sugar stability. So they're all in the paleo valley to complex and guys you can save fifteen percent off this product by going to paleo valley dot com forward slash. dr dockers and using the coupon code. Jock irs at checkout. That will save you. Fifteen percents off your order if you wanna thrive in life. You've got to keep inflammation under control. Paleo valley complex really the best supplement out there for helping support a good inflammation process and allowing you to live at your best so trying out today absolutely now tell us. Did you cry when you took the first week. He took the mary's out. Was that like emotional moment for you know. I just replace them with ice could there. They were frozen in the first place. So high tell people say listen. I say make the change. Yeah the worst thing that can happen. Is you revert. Your changes two or three weeks later. Yeah see how you do right. You know but certainly didn't wanna have you evaluated my own when i look at you know. Just hydration levels body body. Fat percentage that type of thing. I do better with lower sugar fruits for sure at the very very most and certainly no grains and really that starts to become the basis of akita genyk lifestyle. I think and i have to take a little bit further depending on metabolism people. They just make that their starting point lead that it helps you start to realize it's very very possible very easy to do. Exactly what some folks. Unless they're on programs like this they might not have it all figured out. And i respect that i literally david i remember going out for lunch. Ten or fifteen years ago and thinking should i go and get the piece of fish with all the vegetables or should i go get past it because i thought they were both homemade. They're both nutrition. You're not realizing that all that passed it was white flour. I always thought that it had all the b. vitamins. And all the extra things that i needed to get and i. I was always told that debase just on whether or not was carbohydrate or protein arafat not even looking at like the purity of the compound you know the period of the food so obviously people store that baseline starting point just eliminate. The white flour added sugar of the other flowers. That alone is a big change for some change at. But what the reason why. You're doing this. And the reason why i still do what i do is because if somebody's not getting well and they're dealing with conditions that they feel that their body should be healing much easier. Don't give up because maybe you need to. Maybe your person who needs to remove the barriers from this movie and you take that much further to get the change that you need to see. The principles are always true right but some people may need to apply them more uniquely than others. Yeah exactly. I mean a term. I always tell my clients in the health journey. So you know really. Getting healthy is about getting a master's degree in your own health right so if you were going to go and get a master's degree to school like this okay. You're going to spend a lot of time money and energy and the right and it's a slow process. You wanna take it semester by semester and so taking berries out or doing something along those lines may just be an assignment that you're doing for a short period of time along the way of developing your masters degree in your own health. You're going to take with you for the rest of your life and it's and it's self study as well you wanna best know your body. I mean i ultimately feel we'd like people to be able to get up in the morning able to listen to their body and let their body tells them what they should he intuition instead of just having to follow a book. That's right but when your brain psychology is all screwed up and you've got all these hormonal triggers and all these food sensitivities and addictions in everything else. Do you need that guy and taking getting a starting place like your book. What i love is three changes and it's simple. It's like okay if you can make these three changes that's really going to you on the direction towards vastly improving your health and really living a sort of akita genyk lifestyle right sugars and grains which we're talking about get rid of bad fats touched on that but all the refined oils bring in good fats and then change me right and getting rid of the the process meet singing organic grass-fed right and you really simplified as far as that goes and i know that you do a lot of work with detoxification whole summit detox so tell us about a few your favorite foods that help the body detox. There's an article that actually pulled. And i can't think of it off the top of my head but it was actually in that detox summit which was really. The foundation for detoxification really should be through foods. And that's where know. There are some very very advanced supplementation. Regimens let people can follow that. I follow that myself. I'm a fan of like glued file. And i'm a fan of activated charcoal. There's a ton of research just demonstrating. Detoxification is a natural process of the body to achieve. I do believe the body was designed recommending full recognition that we would have to ward off foreign invaders sometimes organic invaders sometimes. Not certainly the body is designed and equipped through the liver and the colon and the kidneys is over to deal with Smoke from a fire. You know what. I mean right or fungal toxins. I'm however we've been pushed to our limits now again the type of detoxing that the body would have had to have done several hundred years ago is a lot different than type of detoxing that they would need to do in a new building where you have on this lake and off gassing of painting furniture and allows too so that's where you just have to be smarter and better take care of your body's detoxification systems and really again would all it. It always comes down to you. Search a look those foods that are the higher source of glutathione. which is your body's number one antioxidant. That really really is designed for cellular interested detoxification. Yeah it's all it's all raw vegetables. Yeah it is. It is in high concentrations in raw organ meats and that type of thing as well but actually look at the list. Were at best ways to get glutathione. It's vegetables now the minute you cook those vegetables i e kill off all on so you don't kill off found you just destroy the house. We can't be used in the body so again. The raw food plant based diet plays a giant role and detoxification. Not only because it's providing the fiber and the vitamin c. And everything else that needs in terms of just the pure glued found that that was a surprise for me. Because i only fought included. Found would have come from things like liver an animal products a raw dairy that type of but there's a ton of great source to get it that way and then i sing all those things that i would just mentioned those are going to support detoxification. And they're going to support kito says well. There's not a single green leafy vegetables that i've seen or avocado or anything that's giant is less on. That's gonna screw up your insulin levels at also interferes kito so a lot of people when they start to go onto a quality. Plant pace detoxification regimen. Even if they're going to incorporate certain things like maybe they want to be largely client base being clued. Some wild fish on my. It's on my website. Now is the seven day cleanse and we set that up to actually be largely plant based have a lot of probiotic based foods as well. But you know what stagger in some some some wild fish if that's how your body as well you know. Certainly you look at people from the north scandinavian cultures. You all would you and fish all the time so that so i'm not saying that somebody should never consume so. We put that in on seven day cleanse in its purest form. I think it's fine but at the end of the day people are doing these detox plans. They don't even realize that one of these secondary benefits is they're also going they're doing akita genyk diet as especially if they're adding in fasting exactly absolutely. Yeah all right so bj. You're ready for this. Yes let's say you're going out. You're going to be stranded on a on an island. Okay for a year. You have unlimited supply of three foods. Yeah three foods all right. Yeah what foods would you. And there's nothing else on the island. You're gonna survive him three foods. What are you bring. My instinct turned things that are like known for being like sources of great fats. You know i would. I would go up. You're going to coconut for sure and you always talk about. Seminars and classes is coconut gets a bad rap because it's largely saturated fats. And you know. I don't think the world's still really totally understand that. Saturated fat is not dangerous but coconut. You these people that go on survivor. And they're there for days at all the coconuts. These people are rep after forty now the modeling contracts. I prefer look great so absolutely coconut because again you look at like the purity of like true coconut data providing all of the fact that you need their plus the coconut water. They crack it opening. You know. get your electrolytes that way. So definitely coca one moves your of course suit. People think about coconut oil remember in that coconut. Roughage that neat. I mean that's food that keeps you full. Coconut would be one on. The next thing would certainly be. I'd say avocado again. Just keep you full great source of healthy. Fats minerals narrow. She got it. And i don't even know you can grill an avocado. But i mean this was used to consuming law. Yeah exactly although the timing would be very difficult though. I'd be waiting right till the perfect time and if i miss it by that one day wouldn't be able to do it and the other thing that i would do would be on. Although it's not any one food. But i i would look at on being able to sprout nuts or you know so certainly like. I flew this morning and used to always take smoothies stuff with me on airplane. I used to be the guy on. The plane would put my smoothie and a cup and stirred up with water and drink it but yeah. I really just try to consume whole foods. Now yeah so. I thought what is easy to put my bag and i brought sprouted. Pumpkin seeds yeah. Sprouting is something that actually you could look after on your own. If you're on an island. Now i'd also need to be growing the pumpkin so i get more pumpkins. Yes but that. I could probably do too as well but again going to keep you full. And they're going to get carbohydrates fats proteins plus all the nutrients that come at. You got a huge. Yes so those would be my three awesome. Those are all fit on a ketogenic plan absolutely. We're all totally kito approve right. You probably catch some fish or try to catch some fish while you're out there as well so anyways. Bj it's been awesome interview and let us know work. We find more about you. Dr dot com is my website. So your heart. H air k. Dot com and you'll really really elmo like to focus on really would be the whole foods lifestyle and certainly helping people look at basic advanced basic and advanced levels of detoxification. Just because it's so close to my heart. I'm also a chiropractor. I want to make sure people. Can you get a better understanding of the chiropractic way of life so those are the main. Yeah maine maine. Kind of three arizona had focus a lot on my own website yet. And i'd be happy to you know. Entertain questions that people have of course on facebook as well absolutely and if people are in the toronto ontario london areas. Yes the name of your clinic. Harvick chiropractic center chiropractic been there for almost fifty years ago one of the largest most well respected chiropractic clinics in the world. That thing absolutely well. It's been a pleasure and honor to have you. Yes this has been fun. i wanna do. -olutely deadly and so if you're listening to the kito edge summit hopefully you're getting tremendous value out of interviews world experts like dj here and we'd love to have you just really dive in deeper with us and purchase the full package. So that way. You're able to get the transcripts. We're able to get really everything that goes along with this kito edge summit and ticket home listen to it. You're you're on the answer and really get the full value out. So we'll see you on a future show. And i want to thank you again for spending your valuable time with me today and if there was something you heard in this interview that you have questions on or you want to dive into the earth dr dockers dot com is the best place to go if you enjoyed this episode. Please consider taking just a quick moment and giving us a great review your us help us influence people in transformed more lives and if you took something valuable from this episode then please share with someone in your life. You know it can help. We'll see you soon on a future. Podcast he blessed everybody.

paleo valley kito dr david yakkers Dr dockers jin Dr shockers reggie Dr david dockers bj harvick akito genyk janaki Life university inflammation response asia sapp merrick complex merrick rams
182: Tiny Habit to Change Your Life with Dr. BJ Fogg

Kwik Brain with Jim Kwik

19:59 min | 1 year ago

182: Tiny Habit to Change Your Life with Dr. BJ Fogg

"Hi, this is Jim Quick and I have a quick update for you on proud to announce my very first book limitless upgrade. Your brain learned anything faster in unlock. Your exceptional life Miss Book is not only based on the latest neuro science in his field tested for over twenty years of working with some of the most amazing minds on our planet. Just go to limitless book Dot Com, and enjoy this book. Welcome the quick. Brain bite-size brain hacks, busy people who wanNA learn faster and achieve more. I'm your coach Jim Quick. Three. Lissa Magin if we could access one hundred percent about brains capacity. I wasn't high wasn't wired just clear. I knew what I needed to do and how to do it. I know come. Okay! We have our next guest joining us right now and let me tell you about. This. Gentleman is named Dr. B Bj Fog Eve runs the lab there at Stanford University, and he is the New York Times bestselling author of one of my favorite books, which is tiny habits, and he was kind enough to endorse our framework littlest model, and he is the man when whenever comes to talking about habits. Your name is you are the person so I think everybody. Everybody here. Who's WHO's is joining us right now day? They either have something that they want to stop, or they want to start and and so when we're talking about becoming limitless, I believe that the treasure we seek is often hidden in our in our habits and the things that were doing repetitively. And so, what would you recommend for somebody WHO's watching this? Right our listening to this right now. What is what is their formula for for habit design. Well so I have a model called the behavioral model in tiny habits is derivative of that I looked at my own model, and that's like oh my gosh. Now. Yes, I wrote a book on it so I'll summarize it very very briefly. There's more to the story, so you take any habit that you want, and you make it super super tiny really easy to do. So rather than meditate for thirty minutes. She scale back, and you start on use al-Qaeda's three breasts rather than twenty pushups to and so on so you go really tiny and the reason you do that is the behavior super small and easy. You don't need much motivation to do the behavior, and what might model showed as but ovation goes up and down over time. We don't have tons of control over that, so you pick a habit a new habit. That's hard when your motivation sags. You won't do it. And so the hack and Make it so easy. That doesn't require much motivation number one number two. You need something to remind you to do the habit to my breakthrough. I gave a Ted talk on. This breakthrough came where I. Realize you can use an existing routine. To. Be The prompt for your new habits so brushing your teeth becomes the prompt for flashing Sitting down on the patio on the evening may become your prompt to open up a book and start reading so that's the second hack. You don't use alarms in post. It notes and things like that you you find where it naturally fits your routine when it comes after that third hack is how to wire the habit in quickly antennae habits I talk about celebration. and. Yet as you do a new habit or immediately after you cause yourself to feel a positive emotion. Explain how to do this in the book, nine Bunko into details here, but by doing that you're hacking. Your brain told wire the habit in quickly. It's not true that habits take sixty six days or twenty one days or one hundred and eight days. That's not true at all. New. You look carefully at the research does not say that repetition causes. have. Information Instead, it's the emotion that you feel when you do the new behavior that's why is it so tiny happens? We don't leave emotion. The chance you hack it and. and. There's a whole bunch of different ways to do the celebration by designing the habit in your life. And you're designing it or routing it into your brain through this technical celebration without comments conform very very quickly. Now? I've interviewed you multiple times for podcast so a lot of people. Some people here are actually posting a heard you on our show. Quick brains. Those of you have listened to our show. You can search Jim quick in your podcast APP. This is amazing. people are posting this formula. B Equals M. A.. B. S. A.. T. What what is that Jim? I'll say this to your audience, but I don't WanNa. Say this to publicly 'cause people get like cranky. This is like the equals MC squared but for behavior. This is the fundamental. Model for behavior, it's not technically equation. It's model and for any behavior, including habits, habits type of behavior behavior happens when three things come together at the same moment there's motivation Redo the motivation to do the behavior ability to behavior, and there's a prompt when those three things come to the pets whether and if you WANNA get rid of a behavior, you have three options. You can get rid of reduce motivation. You can make it harder to do. You can move prompt so any behavior type that you're looking for whether it's one time one time behavior whether it's a habit whether it's stopping. Meteors always comes back to motivation ability imprompt with that clarity I was able to create a tiny habits method. And also in behavior type you think of this is a little, Lego, a perfect Lego, and then you can take in, combine it and use it in many ways to create whatever you want this. The one Lego that's perfect, and then you can combine it in crude things were saying mind loan. This is amazing, so what would be an example of? Let's take an existing habit that people could relate to what will keep showing some content equals m. a. p., where would Europe? Well Let me go a little bit further. Because the tiny habits method is derived from this, but it's not exactly that so you pick if you make something really really easy to do. Your. Can Be Higher Love. All you need is a prompt Okay, so I'm going to try this with habits. I'm going to make the habits now hard, because if they're hard in my motivation sagged as easy as I possibly can, in all I need is a prompt, and then I had this great through just Oh, you can use your existing routine property so there you have it. The prompt is your existing routine. The motivation you don't rely on high levels had habits you already want and understand your motivation will go up and down at you look really hard at ability, and you make sure it's really easy to do so you're not susceptible to the swings motivation, so it was really looking at my own model and looking at this area area, and at work so well on me for. I did it for like a year as like. This is like magic. This is so easy. Then I started teaching two thousand eleven. That's amazing because when I think about instagram. It's very habitual. People pick it up so many. They opened it up. Perfect example so this tells you what kind of habits to choose. Instagram at the beginning, the only thing you really can do is take a picture. Put a filter on it. And filter was very important. As people put filters on it, you would see your picture. Become a craciun like a work of art like it would help. You feel successful, so recognized the emotional impact. The filters had. The filters helped make instagram. Habit so yes, it was really really easy. But that wasn't the whole story. So when it comes to taking your habits, make him really easy, but like his head third hack is to help yourself feel successful. Instagram did that so well through these filters, and you go through filters. You had an emotional feeling of success, and that made you only want to use instagram wired in as a habit and so added you then looked at well. What are my options for taking and sharing photos? You stopped considering your other options. Because instagram gave you that feeling so when you're designing for habits, you're really designing promotions. Okay and then the celebration is important, and you could celebrate in different ways. 'cause we know. Is State. Dependent that emotional or the don't be not so certain. He's endorphins. You can use an example of something that you wanted to change in your life. Maybe something you were struggling with and we could maybe. Is, a sensitive like maybe you deconstruct. Yeah I'll use an example That's not in the book. So every morning here in Maui, I serve, and then come home and I just worked my butt off. And bring a water bottle out and when I'm driving home, a drink water hydrate, and then the water bottle wasn't making it back into the fridge, so it's like okay. You got to create a habit of filling up the water bottle and putting it back in the fridge, so it's ready to go the next morning, but I knew that was to heart. That would take like a minute. Which is really tomorrow? Repress motivation so instead. The habit is just come home and put the water bottle on this little table that I have. So I made it so easy and then later in the day the water bottle sitting there would remind me to fill it out. When I had more time now I wired it in as a habit when I would put it down on the table the first few times I take. Awesome Bj I would so for me that works I go wait ago. Awesome that makes me feel successful and wires in the habit, so now without fail I come home from serving, but the water bottle on the Little Haibo. And once they have it wires. You don't have to celebrate it anymore. The celebration is what you do until the habit wires in. And so what you're doing is you're acting your brand. Your hacking a habit into your brand through celebration. That's astonishing and then the opposite. If you WanNa, stop doing something in order to like like some people wanted to stop smoking or something else. And how would you look at this? So I I. It's more complicated. Creating a habit and stopping a habit are different processes in a tiny habits method is all about creating habits and turns out pretty. It's easy straightforward. You can create habits very quickly and easily. Some habits are really easy to stop, and some are really hard, and there's a whole bunch in between so for the hard kind of habits to stop I have a quite a system in the back of book three pages of flowcharts. To summarize it this way. All habits form in the same way. Good habits in bad habits. They start small. They find where it fits naturally in your life and they get reinforced. There's some even bad habits formed that way, so let's say you play video games in the middle of the night, and you start feeling happier well. Guess what that's every time you do that. And you feel relief or you feel distraction as playing a video in the middle of the night starts wearing so I'll habits form in the same way. The way that you untangle I. Call It untangling. Not Breaking Bad habits is more nuanced in fact more complex. There are ways to do it, but there's not one method. There's one method for creating them. There's a multitude of methods for untangling. There's a different method for planting a tree than it is like tearing down the. Exactly right yes. It will always come down to motivation ability. Prompt again. Think of it like Legos the way that you take apart. This big Lagos structure depends on what it is, but it will always. Comfortability ability motivation are always components that you're. You're fiddled. Let's say right now. The goal for we want to make limitless the most read in finished book of the year. That's Michael. So what would you recommend to somebody watching this right now? And they just have the book some reason they just. They haven't even help Ya. Love it love at. Is Reading or the Audio Booker either one. Let's take reading the book. Say That okay. I almost put this as an example in my book, but it was a little too self referential, but it's perfect for you, so here's what so first of all. Get the ball. And then take the reading behavior. One chapter is too big instead scaling way way back. You might think one paragraph. That's okay. You could even go back to one sentence, and you might even go back to. My habit is just going to be opening book. Right as simple as possible, but you might want to pick a sentence or a paragraph, so you take the behavior. Make it super tiny. Don't think you're GONNA. Read five pages. It's not tiny enough. You gotTa make it so easy. That, even when you're sick or busy or in a rush, she'll still do it. Will you still ran the one sentence or one paragraph? So they're gonNA make that tiny. Then you're you won't have to relax motivation you're in this. Next, find where it fits naturally in your life. Where does it come after? To read limitless. Come after. Maybe it comes after you start the coffee maker. Maybe it's after you sit down with lunch. Maybe it's actor. You go to your afternoon break so what you have to design it into your life. Look like a my fingers on. You have to decide what where does it come after? And this is a design process? It's not about willpower. Okay, so if you're tapping into willpower. If you think you lack motivation, you're headed down the wrong path. It's designed challenge. Not a will project so you? You find where it fits naturally in my life. There was a time when summer where I wanted to to reading, and always sat down on the deck with my partner looked over the river in the evenings, so that was the moment after i. sit down with my partner and for Tim. It was just opened the book. It wasn't read anything. It was just open and what I did and I drew this up as you were talking. I made a bookmark that had a happy Smiley face on it like that. So when I opened the book. Looking at that Smiley face made me feel successful than happy a little bit of a hack. But what you could do is open the book. An azure. Book. Wow. This is helping me achieve my life's purpose, because it is but gem teaching, you is so if you can connect the habit of opening the ball. To Howitt's help inactivity think about how it's helping you achieve your life purpose. That's a form of celebration that can help you feel successful, and that's going to help the habit form really quick. You change best buy feeling good, not feeling bad now who read that that's a thread that runs through my entire book because too often, people think that change is hard and after beat themselves. That's not the best way to change, so yeah, the details about tiny habits. He'd your model I think the powerful message to get out there as change. Best. Buy Feeling good. And there are ways to transform your life by feeling good, and if you're feeling bad, that's a signal to find a better way to do it, and that's really what my works about him I think your work is bad. Is Helping people upgrade and transform in these positive ways, and it's not about guilt or shame or Self trash-talk. There's ways there's better ways to do it, so forget about a lot of the traditional stuff you're you thought about behavior change and understand that you change best feeling good. You're changed best. I feel good I. think that that's amazing. Remember when you teach something you get to learn. It's wise to share this winter. Fans, your friends or family. Your your followers online eilly recommend. People get the book. Tiny habits by Dr. bj fog, and it could also follow you on social media on Instagram and twitter all this fun. Thank you so much and everybody. I'm so glad you're here with Jim. He's amazing. You know that you would be here and huge. CONGRATS and I'm cheering. You Yuan. I'm watching the. Itself Point the people get the book, but there's something exciting about seeing how. It's doing incredible. A lot of people are connecting with the book just cheering you on. Thank, you bj although. Want to double your brain speed and memory power. 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Your fellow brain lovers links to resources, and even submit your questions for meeting answer in future episodes to wick brain dot com. That's paid W. K BRAIN DOT COM, the a stands for apply hacked on what you learned today. Remembering knowledge is not power its potential power. It only becomes power when you use it and so use what you just the s stands for subscribe. Don't miss the next episode and other free brain drain, and finally the t stands for teach you WANNA. Learn faster now the keys to lock it'd right away by teaching it to someone else. When you teach something you get to learn a twice. Here's a simple way to do that. Leave a review I to. Leave a review with your biggest takeaway from this episode. You could also post and share this podcast on your social media. It helps us spread our mission building, better brighter brains, and of course tag us to our team could properly thank you, Hashtag. Quick Brain K. W. I k. brain mine is at Jim Quick K.. W. 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