20 Episode results for "Dopamine"

What Is Dopamine Fasting?

The Psych Central Show

21:00 min | 10 months ago

What Is Dopamine Fasting?

"You're listening to the site. Central podcast guest experts in the fields of psychology and mental health. Chappel provoking information using plain everyday. Language is your I get. You tallaght Sir. Are you having issues sleeping because right now. Central podcast listeners can get twenty five percent offer. A calm premium subscription ADT COM dot com slash central that ca l. m. dot com slash central. Forty million. People have downloaded loaded the COM APP. FIND OUT WHY ADT COM DOT com slash central. Welcome to this week's episode of the Psych Central Podcast call into the show. Today we have Dr John Grow Hall. Who is the founder and the editor in chief of Psych Central John? Welcome to the show. Great to be here with Gabe. I'm glad to have you today. We're going to be discussing. A twitter trend called dopamine fasting. Can you explain what that is. Good old dopamine fasting. Yeah that sounds sounds like a fun thing right so dopamine fasten your. It's this idea that by restricting your pleasurable daily activities things that you normally normally enjoy doing on a daily or weekly basis such as drinking alcohol sex drugs gaming even talking to others checking your career. FACEBOOK feed your social media feeds and in some extremes even pleasurable eating that if you cut all that out for twenty four hours for forty the eight hours you are somehow magically going to reset your neuro chemical makeup in your brain. I have a million questions about this is but let's start at the very very beginning. What is dopamine? Dopamine is a neurotransmitter chemical in your brain very very important for how your brain functions it is something that we call as a part of the dopamine motive system system because the dopamine system in the brain functions on both motivation and reinforcement. It's not just a reward system as many people believe. I believe that We most often hear dopamine attached to things talking about drug addiction that when people get addicted to cocaine or some. The mother drug that the screws up their dopamine receptors in their brains and that is very true but more generally dopamine is involved an daily activities in everybody's brain and it is involved in all the activities and behaviors that are around motivation in reinforcement in our lives so when we eat something like a big piece of chocolate cake our brain is flooded with dopamine. And we feel feel-good Dr Grow Hall. I'm I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a therapist. I'm not a researcher and I'm certainly not a neurologist but this just sounds ridiculous to me as just just a regular person the idea that if you don't use part of your brain it just magically become something different. Yeah that's true I. It's not something that's likely to happen because it doesn't speak to. How dopamine actually works in our brain and since? I'm not an expert in dopamine either I had to speak speak to some experts. One of whom was Professor Kim Helman's neuroscience researcher at Carleton University in Canada and we had a long conversation station about dopamine. And how it works in the brain and one of the things that she reminded me. was that in our brains that dopamine is a part of a very dynamic system and what that means is that it is always it doesn't exist in sort of a static state. It responds spawned two levels of stimulation that an individual is exposed to so neural. Transmitters are synthesized on demand as needed did and then they're stored in these little packages in the brain inside the cell ready for release. And if you don't use them they remained stored if you do use them they get used up in your brain and then your brain creates more dopamine. So if you think you're going on a fast for twenty four or forty eight hours of Komo dopamine. You're actually not because your brain is storing up the dopamine anyway for future use. It has absolutely nothing to do with fasting dopamine in the brain. I'm sort of a little confused about this idea of dopamine fasting because you can get pleasure from a lot of different things some of the examples that you gave her obvious things that you give pleasure. You know pleasurable eating sex. We understand those even even a technology fast okay. Technology makes Gabe very very very happy. But you know beating my. GPS makes me happy petting. My dog makes aches me. Happy the workday ending and me walking in the front door knowing that the next several hours our mind to do with as I please those things make me a happy so even if dopamine fasting worked. I'm not quite sure what that would look like. Because don't we get joy from just many different places. Yeah and it speaks to a fundamental misunderstanding of what dopamine is that it's involved in so much more than pleasure. It's involved in both things things surrounding our appetite and eating behaviors as well as stress responses. So it seems to be a signal that's released whenever the an organism needs needs to pay attention and learn about stimuli or signals or other things happening in the environment around them in that way. Dopey looney is far more complex than most people understand it to be and so it's not just about. Oh here's a hamburger. So next time I hey I need to remember. It's sight and smell and taste so next time I I'm hungry I can remember like hey I can hamburger and that will satisfy my need it for to satisfy my appetite but another example is here's a bear so I must remember where I saw this bear so I don't go into the bears territory again the future so I can avoid it and not getting by a bear. I like all examples that have to do with not being eaten by a a bear. I just feel the need to say that Dr Grow Hall. We take it for granted that we live in this civilized world where we drive around and automobiles us and we eat a pre prepared food items from McDonalds Burger King or whatnot and we forget that our bodies and our brains things were developed and spent most of the time being raised in a very very different environment environment where it was fight or flight where you need to worry about where your next meal is coming from. And you need to worry about whether you're going to eat or be eaten. It's only in the past hundred hundred or two hundred years or so where you can say. Oh humans have had a whole heck of a lot more free time to worry about things other than where their the next meal is coming from. What's interesting to me? Is that people believe this because the brain is very very advanced and it's so advanced that you Dr Grow Hall who have an advanced Vance degree in psychology had to find somebody who had you know a more advanced degree in the brain to understand this but the core of this for people to believe this is true. They have to believe that the brain is exceptionally simple and most people don't believe that the brain is exceptionally simple. Why do so you think that people believe that this works? What are they hoping to get out of it? I think there's desire and many people to find something to try. I something that they haven't tried before. That will help fix a lot of the issues that are most important to them on a day to a day basis and today the issue that arises in many people's life is a feeling of being overwhelmed a feeling of being stressed out out and having to reply to all these alerts and notifications that are always bombarding us in our free time or downtime our our time away from work and so this idea that Oh i could just take a break a dopamine fast for twenty four hours Al Comeback and I'll be all refreshed Rushton renewed and my brain will have reset. Its neurotransmitters is very appealing. Because it says hey you need to make a twenty four hour commitment in everything is going to go back to the way. It was five years ago so for people who enjoy thinking that there are quick fixes to long standing difficult difficult issues in a person's life this is very attractive. We're going to step away to hear from our sponsors and we'll be right back one real no boundaries talk about mental until health issues from those who live at listen to the not crazy. PODCAST CO hosted by a lady with depression and a guy with bipolar visit psych central dot com slash. Not Crazy or subscribe to not crazy on your favorite podcasts player however one this is Gabe Howard from the psych central. podcast cast and I have a quick question for you. Are you struggling to sleep these days because if you are you are not alone one in three. US adults doesn't get enough sleep and if you're not sleeping enough it can affect your cognitive functions. During the day things like learning problem solving and decision making. And that's why we're partnering with calm because of the number one APP for sleep sleep because we want you to seize the day sleep the night and you can with the help of calm and right now psych central listeners get twenty five percent off a calm premium subscription just just by going to calm dot com slash central that C. A. L. M. dot com slash central. Forty million people have downloaded com. Find out why at calm dot com slash central. This episode is sponsored by better help dot com secure convenient and affordable online counseling all all councillors are licensed accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential schedule secure video or phone sessions plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel. It's needed among of online therapy. Often cost less than a single traditional face to face session go to better help dot com forward slash psych central and experienced seven days. Free therapy to see if online counseling is right for you better. Health Dot com forward slash psych central. We're back discussing. The trend of dopamine fasting with Dr John Grow Hall is this just just the equivalent of the get rich quick scheme or the lose weight now pills. Are we just seen this pseudoscience. Just move from weight loss to brain rain advancement absolutely this and and make no mistake about it. This is dangerous pseudo. Sciences crappy science masquerading thing as something bigger and better some sort of description of actual brain processes when nothing could be further from the truth is has nothing to to do with dopamine fasting. Now why what we do say am what I've encouraged people to do for years and so this is not new advice. Is that of course you can take a break from technology. Of course you can take a break from life. We call that normal people call that taking vacation. We call that taking technology analogy break. There's nothing that can stop you tomorrow from saying. Hey this weekend. I'm going to plug my phone into charge and I am not going to pick it up for forty eight hours. That is something that's available to you and guess what it has nothing to do with resetting your dopamine levels and it has everything being to do with being more mindful and getting into mindfulness which is something we've talked about before. That is a very positive meditation technique. Take the can help anybody in my younger days. I was exceptionally overweight. And I wanted to lose a lot of weight. And I bought into the Internet's Gabe. Howard Howard was fooled by the Internet? And I I bought these magic pills. And that's that's really the best thing I can say about them. They were magic pills because they explain that if I took these pills that it would rewire my internal attornal processes for lack of a better word and help me lose weight and in order for these pills to be most effective I had to take take them with four glasses of water. I had two fast two hours before taking them in two hours after taking them and they were not fat soluble so I couldn't eat eat a lot of fat with them and it really helped if I went for a walk in the morning and walk at night and I took these pills four times a day and I followed all of the instructions perfectly and it worked like gangbusters. The magic pills worked amazingly and I lost a bunch of weight and then somebody pointed out to me that of course the reason they were working is because I was was drinking all of this water I was doing all of this walking and I completely cut fat out of my diet to make sure that the magic pills worked on one hand. I was tricked but I did lose lose weight and the pills were probably just sugar pills. They probably did nothing. Negative to my body. The reason I'm telling this story is is this like the same thing. If somebody calls it dopamine fasting but they do put down the technology they do go for a walk they do read a book will they get positive results even though the mechanism that's in place is not what they think is happening or is it worse than this is at Janus could they actively harm themselves. Look my problem with calling dopamine. Fasting is that takes us down another step on the road to ignorance which is where we simplify very complex systems. Two point of meaninglessness if words don't have meaning then then we can't share the same language we can't communicate very clearly with one another so if everybody starts calling things dopamine fasting when they really mean just taking a break aac suddenly they have this belief that they understand how the brain works. That has nothing to do with how the brain actually works and it just takes us down another level in the conversation of trying to help people really understand how the brain works when we talk about other things like mental illness. We we don't get even more confused because oh I heard that I can just take a dopamine fast in now cure my mental illness Oh I heard I could just take a dopamine gene fast and that can carry my depression so I think language is super important. I think using words with their actual meanings is very helpful. All to having a clear conversation where everybody's sort of on the same page. Of course you can do all the things that are recommended in a dopamine gene fast and still gain the same benefits no matter what you call it. My point I guess is that we've all been doing these things for years and we didn't have this dumb term to call it that and it doesn't help anyone understand how the brain works. How their behaviors work any better by using this terminology? Look at it like the supplement industry. Here's an industry in the United States. Which is one hundred and twenty two billion begin? Be with billion dollars a year and most research that has been done on supplements show that they are not useful the vast majority of people who take them they have no meaningful effect on your body's health or wellbeing or long-term longevity in terms arms of extending your life or warding off any kind of disease so they act very much like a placebo sugar pill and yet people spend a hundred hundred and twenty two billion dollars a year for these placebos. I don't know that going on dopamine fast putting down technology etc is going to hurt anyone. It really isn't right but it is important that we try and use the the words that were given in the ways that they actually mean because like I said I feel like if we start talking about things like dopamine which scientifically we we know quite a lot about and then put it together with another word that has no business being there fasting. We come up with these dumbed down versions of science that are all leading US down a path of not being able to communicate with one another well and to build on your point of the supplement industry the billion dollar supplement industry industry because that industry has gotten so big and so profitable and so powerful it has swayed public opinion. We now have people who say things like. Oh no no no no no big Pharma is just trying to make a profit off of me. I have to trust the supplements who are somehow natural and pure so they're moving away from Research and helpful medicines and doctors in order to believe the unregulated supplement industry. And and in that way it has left people in harm's way so it's possible that if we start believing like you said that all we have to do is dopamine fast and suddenly depression bipolar disorder disorder. Schizophrenia etc.. Is all going to be cured. It's not a far stretch to say. And that's why big Pharma is taking advantage of us. Because after Paul and then yeah absolutely I see it as a slippery slope I see it when we start getting sloppy with our terminology and are and what we mean and talking about these things then. Suddenly people have a really simplistic idea of very very complex things. We we have a very early understanding of how the brain functions and how it works. We're nowhere close to really unraveling all the mysteries of this very complex Oregon and so I think it just it confuses everything and makes the message so much foggier and more cloudy when people who may any very well be well meaning throw out these terms that have no scientific basis so john the takeaway as dopamine. Fasting doesn't do anything but taking a break from MM technology or taking a vacation can do wonders for your mental health absolutely and I cannot encourage enough that people need to not not become slaves to the tools that they are welcome into their lives. And I've said it before you don't need L. alert to tell you every time someone. Someone has had a reaction on instagram or facebook or any other social media turn off alerts Become more mindful in your life off and use technology as the tool that it was intended to be. Don't let it be the thing that rules your life We've seen it. Negatively actively impact many many people's lives because they're being dictated by the technology rather than dictating to the technology. So take a break when we need it and don't get the don't get caught up in the in the new snake oil and leave discussions of dopamine to neuro-scientists absolutely Dr Grow Hall. Thank you for being on the show. We appreciate having you always a pleasure. You Bet and remember everyone we appreciate you too. You can get one week of free convenient affordable private online counseling anytime anywhere simply by visiting better health dot com lashes sir. You've been listening to the psych central. PODCAST want your audience to be wowed at your next event featuring appearance and live recording the psych central podcasts from your stage email us at show and signed central Dot Com for details. Previous episodes can be found at psych central dot com slash smashed show or on your favorite podcast player psych central if the Internet's oldest and largest independent mental health website run by mental health professionals overseen by Dr John Grow Home site central of this trusted resources and quizzes down onto your questions about mental health plus analogy psychotherapy and and more. Please visit us today at site. CENTRAL DOT COM to learn more about how host gave Howard please visit his website at gave. Howard Dot Com thank? Thank you for listening. Please share widely.

dopamine Dr Grow Hall Howard Howard Dr John Grow Hall Dot Com Gabe tallaght depression researcher Chappel Dr John founder Carleton University McDonalds MM technology United States Oregon
Reaping Rewards by Expecting Success

Developer Tea

08:38 min | 1 year ago

Reaping Rewards by Expecting Success

"In the last episode of developer t we talked about the importance of going beyond simply fixing failure we discussed how this applies to p- debugging sessions for example not simply fixing the bug. We're trying understand the systems and the environment that created the possibility for that bug to exist in the first place while i hope that the last episode has encouraged urged you to kind of have a healthy appetite for failure. It's also important that you find ways to succeed and this can be even in very small and <hes> intermittent ways. You don't have to have success on a regular basis to get the effect that we're going to talk about about in today's episode. My name is shana think trial and you're listening to developer t and go on the show is to help driven developers find clarity perspective and purpose in their careers. Today's episode is a short episode. We do not have a sponsor for this episode and in lieu of a sponsor love for you to go and check out the other podcasts on the suspect network head over to suspect him to find other fantastic shows for designers and developers who are looking to level up in their careers so what is success have to do with our motivation are learning. Why is it important that we not only have these constant constant learning moments with failure but that we also have at least intermittent success intuitively. We might believe that let's we can kind of reason through this that if we'd never experienced any success than our morale will be low that we won't feel like it's possible to experience success with we kind of label ourselves as a failure and while at a high level that very well may happen. There's another reason that we should care about intermittent success at a very basic level when we experienced some kind of reward for our behavior savior. Our brain releases dopamine. This is the the reward drug they hopes to encourage certain behaviors behaviors and dopamine is kind of the feel good neurotransmitter now the interesting thing about dopamine and the way that our brains work is is that we adapt to the the reward system that we're used to so for example if we consistently get the same reward from the same action then the dopamine response will be the same but if we increase the reward the dopamine hit that we get from that same action and reward cycle will be less per reward the ratio essentially as lower most research search refers to this concept as hey dawn ick adaptation and the theory of why this happens is very simple when we establish wish some expectations and something falls below those expectations were more likely to see a relative dip in our dopamine dopamine levels. I'll give you a few real world examples. <hes> that explain how this dopamine expectation connection may they work one example is playing a game with someone that you are well matched with. It's more exciting to play a game with someone and you are likely to be competitive with mostly because you have the chance for the game to go either way. Consider a scenario where you're playing a game with someone that you know you're either going to beat very badly or they're going to be very badly. You might describe game like this as boring. It's not exciting even if someone is running away with the game. If there's incredible <hes> moments in that game it's very unlikely that it's exciting because there's not very much of a back and forth however if you are rooting for the underdog and the underdog wins because your expectation that was something different and <hes> a lesser expectation and reality exceeded your expectation likely to get much more of a dopamine release in in that kind of scenario another great example of this is when you first start learning a new skill for me for example when i first learned learned how to build websites at the harry early beginning of my career and i started doing this for clients and the very first time i got paid. I was an incredibly rewarding experience looking back on it. I can't imagine getting paid as little as i got paid then even even for the amount of work that i did and even for the skill level that i had part of the reason that i can't imagine it is because of this he dodig adaptation. The dopamine reward that i would have today is incredibly lower than the dopamine reward that i had then. I should say that i'm not a neuroscientist and there's a lot of disclaimers here and there's a lot of edge cases. Certainly there are games that are exciting when there is a huge skew between them <hes> maybe for other reasons for other factors so we can't treat all of these problems as if they are simple to understand but what i do want you to understand here is that providing yourself with the experience of success is going to give you a positive dopamine release. This is particularly true. When you can establish some kind of expectation from yourself. A simple example of this is to build a very the easy to keep habit. Theoretically this effect may be responsible for the positive reports from people who make their bed every morning. They start their day with something that they can mark off as a success. This is a small dose of dopamine. This reward cycle is what teaches us how to continue with those habits and develop patterns of discipline if we can remind ourselves ourselves regularly through those rewards cycles what success feels like then we set new expectations for ourselves not just <unk> at a cognitive level but at a biological level we learn the patterns of success and interestingly we become more satisfied vied by establishing expectations rather than by actually succeeding when we believe that something his true about ourselves. The release of dopamine is quite similar to if the thing was actually true in other words as you are expecting a particular event to occur that's when the dopamine is actually released and why do we keep on talking about a chemical on a developer upper show well because very often what we do as developers depends on a level of tenacity and a level of willpower that isn't easy. It's not simple to look at a bug that you've never seen before and expect yourself to succeed. It's not simple to establish good testing behavior. It's not simple to build software. That's never existed before your job is not simple and so it's important to remind yourself on a regular basis that success is not only possible but it's something that you expect out of yourself. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode of developer t if you'd like to learn more about <hes> this reward read cycle. There's certainly a lot of literature on this on this concept of the dopamine reward cycle you can also read books like robertson pulse keys behave steve actually in the middle of this book right now part of the reason why i was inspired to do this episode. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode and until next time enjoy your tea.

dopamine developer robertson steve
The Molecule of More: Dopamine (SoP76)

Speaking of Psychology

52:59 min | 1 year ago

The Molecule of More: Dopamine (SoP76)

"The. Modem? Speaking of psychology, a BI weekly podcast from the American psychological association. I'm your host Caitlyn. Luna the topic. For this episode is dopamine, it's known as the chemical of love, sex, creativity and addiction dopamine, always wants more. It pushes us to achieve greatness. But can also lead to our downfall, our guest for this episode are Dr Dan Lieberman, professor in vice chair for clinical fares in department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at the George Washington University and Mike long a speech writer screenwriter and playwright who teaches writing at Georgetown University, they code a book called the molecule of more how a single chemical in your brain drives love sex, creativity and will determine the fate of the human race, welcome. Dr LeBron Mr. long, but you happy on the show, some sure many of our listeners of heard of dopamine. But may not know exactly what it is. An exactly what it does. So Dr Lieberman. Can you start off with a very basic question? What exactly is dopamine? Dopamine za chemical in the brain like to think of it like the conductor of an orchestra. It turns on turns off turns up the volume turns down the volume on a lot of different areas in the brain. And as a result, it has an outside in an outsized influence on our behavior. Everything our body serves a purpose. So from ever luminary perspective. Why does doping exist in our brains, and our with the only animals who have dopamine would people think about dopamine, they often think about reward and that is an important aspect of it. We get feelings of pleasure reinforcement, even euphoria when we do things that promote our survival and reproduction eating food drinking water winning competitions and having sex. So from an evolutionary point of view, it's incredibly important. And that's why it's so powerful because it directs our behavior from the bottom up is designed to keep us alive and make us Evelyn narrowly successful, so. Really been integral in what has helped us evolve from early humans to where we are today. It's true. And most animals do have it. It's a very ancient chemical, but human seem to have more of it than any other organism, and we are much more sophisticated than other organisms and so in human beings. It does a lot more than just reward us when we engage in pro survival activities, it's responsible for a whole host of activities that people would never guess such as love creativity, even political affiliation. So for your time animals, so with something like a distant relative ours like, a primate have dopamine and would something simple, like an earth room have dopamine. You know, I don't know about earthworm. Yeah. Next book. Primates definitely have them. You may be surprised to learn the animal it has the most of it. And that is ravens crows blackbirds. Yeah. They're actually incredibly good at solving problems better even than chimpanzees. They've done experiments in which they've put together a problem for raven to solve involves getting a piece of food, and it involves multi steps they've got to build tool and then use the tool to get the food, and they're able to do it. And we think it's because they've got so much dopamine. It's fascinating. I think this this begins to open the door on what we think is. So interesting about the book dopamine, obviously has ever Lucien airy role, and it has fulfilled it well and to this point. It's great. But here we are in a modern age where a lot of the things that it was required for in a raw empty place. We don't have that problem anymore. We don't have to worry about where the next. Meal's coming from most of the world. We don't have to worry about where where we're going to sleep tonight. And and who we're going to sleep with frankly there there are mechanisms civilization to find that person. And yet dopamine remains and correct me if I'm wrong, Dan at the same levels. It's always been more or less here. Here we go and dopamine has to have something to do and that leads to these cultural effects, these cultural conflicts these personal experiences that are are sometimes frustrating sometimes. Curious strange. And that's where we went with the book is understanding how dopamine got us to this point. How it explains so much trouble? We find ourselves in today. And so many curious experiences, we have I think probably the broadest way to describe dopamine is designed to maximize future resources, and we can see that working in ourselves when we are constantly folks on the future. I need more. I'm not satisfied. I'm not a good enough person rather than just kind of taking a deep breath and say, wow, look at all the wonderful things. I have the good things I've done. I'm grateful for them. Dopamine doesn't want us to do that. It wants to keep us constantly on the run. Don't gain sets us up to appreciate the world to experience the world in two ways. And for me. This was this was revelatory. We have things that we appreciate the color of your top right now, the color of the walls of the room, the feel of this table taste of the water here. I have things that we experience in the moment. We appreciate what they're like. That's one way we spend our time. The other way, we spend our time is anticipating planning looking forward to thinking about things that have yet to occur, and that's a different kind of pleasure. And dopamine is the conductor of that pleasure. And once you begin to divide the world divide your experienced, if I'd your personal experiences into those two categories dopamine dopamine role rises to the four becomes obvious that there are different ways we move through the day and different reasons we are motivated some are more motivated by things in the future. When working toward some are motivated by how beautiful this is. Or what the experience is like, and they're very different things if I'm very fascinating. Like, you were talking about how dopamine is that initial chemical that fledge your brain where you spot something novel or new, but that it does fade and in the context of love, which is an integral part of your book. Joep Amine is that chemical that when you fall in love, you feel for Eck, and he just walk down the street singing and dancing. Yeah. It says here's something new. There might be something useful in this. That'll help me in the future reproduce. Keep me safe. Or whatever it is in the case of loves my goodness. Look this possibility is right in front of me. And you get this euphoria, and the more you learn about the thing the less there is to explore the dopamine begins to Fe. Yeah. It makes a promise that other senses. Would or other chemicals would have to keep he also wanted to talk to onto you said. So the initial fall feeling however long that might last for a specific person it's probably up to individual, but that might taper off six to eight months year. And then you need those other chemicals in your brain neuro neurotransmitters, I believe to basically take you to that next phase of making love last, and those you coin here now molecules talk a little bit about that. And how those are important for keeping relationships alive. Sure. So dopamine is all about the future making the future. Better maximizing resources, it gives us desire and -ticipant. But as Mike pointed out, it makes promises it can't keep so, for example, you may be wanting a brand new TV and going on the internet getting all excited about that TV. But as soon as you get it things change because it's gone from the future to the present. And dopamine can only process the future. So what happens is dopamine shuts down. And that's one of the causes of buyer's remorse, which everybody is heard of experience probably too. And the same thing happens with love, unfortunately. We see someone from across the room. And all of a sudden we start developing fantasies about how perfect they are. This person is my dream person. They're going to change my life as absolute nothing to do with reality, and every therapist deals with patients who have this problem. They meet somebody new they get all excited. They say this is the one and then as soon as they get to know that person as soon as the person changes from an object of desire in their imagination to a real human being they completely lose interest. And they go to therapists, and they say how come I can't have long term relationships, the answers dopamine. They're not able to transfer from that dopaminergic hope anticipation into the here. And now, so what are these chemicals for love? Probably the most important chemical is oxidised. That's a chemical many people have heard of it sometimes called the cuddle chemical, basically what it does is it orients towards relationships. It's made administered intranasaly experiments, and it makes people have warm feelings close feelings to people that they count as part of their group. That's something that can last. Dopaminergic love has been called passionate love. And that's the feeling of being in love that almost insane feeling of passion for the other person. Unbounded optimism anything is possible that lasts about on ninety twelve months. And then you gotta transient. More. During the time. Yeah. Then you transfer over to what's called companionate love that's the kind of love that can last a lifetime, and that's more driven by chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin. It's so important. I say I'm projecting it onto other people. I know, but as I learned this material. It was again just such a revelation for me to see that. When you talk about love, you're talking about two very different things you're talking about the romantic phase or the passionate face. And then you're talking about the companion phase. And there are those of us who never escape the romantic phase, which sounds kind of exciting until you think about what that really mean. Right example, we use in the book used to example, one is Mick Jagger, and one is George Costanza who turns out from this perspective are exactly the same person. Just kinda shocking. George sort of holding Jagger is what we get there. Jagger told his biographer that he had been with four thousand women over the course of his career. So gives new meaning to I can't get no satisfaction, by the way. And it's pretty safe to say that an individual who is going through four thousand people over the course of a few decades. I think we came up with one every two weeks was what that that one encounter every two weeks. Anybody who's living like that is dopaminergic completely and utterly in the in the in the realm of love as soon as they meet somebody. It's a mystery. It's a wonder and then as soon as the least bit of that mystery is solved. They're not interested in more and Costanza is the same way. He just doesn't have the swagger Jagger. You remember that whenever he met a woman he thought this was the one who was in love with that woman. He was crazy that word love in love them was crazy that women. This was the one right up until he went out with her a few times, and then he had to extricate himself. He was so awful in this way that when he when he found the woman who finally agreed to marry him. He was disgusted with himself for having done it. And when she died from licking the poison envelopes in that famous episode. He was not crushed or sad. He was relieved. He was relieved. Now, it's. It's easy to say this a little hyperbolic, I suppose it is from a dramatic perspective. But we know those people they're they're desperate to get in a relationship as soon as they're in it. They're desperate to get out. Because there are two kinds of love the romance and the companionship, right and not everybody makes that transition because it's a choice. You make 'em. I going to say, look, I understand. I can't find satisfaction in romance. I'm going to work on this as a companion relationship. So that's a conscious choice absolute. So it's not something that just kind of turned over. I'm not exactly. Don't get on front. My skis here. I don't think it is a conscious choice. I think it's something that is a sign of maturity and one has to work on the ability to step away from the thrill the excitement and say, I want something more enduring longer-lasting I- patient who was very similar to George Costanza slash Mick Jagger, an image, which I will not be able to out of my. Had you'd had hundreds Jerry. She's not. Hundreds of girlfriends and like the cocaine addict who no longer he gets pleasure from the drug, but has to keep doing it. He was no longer getting pleasure from these encounters. What he couldn't make that transition for one reason another to the companion of phase. So one day he met a girl dated her for a couple weeks, and then persuaded her to come to Las Vegas with him and get married. Thought on that he could take control of the situation he'd get married to her and live happily ever after and did not work out. That's not totally surprising. But I guess when question this leads me to do different people have different amounts of dopamine in their brains could influence this type of a hater. They do they do a large part of it is genetic interesting. Yeah. There are there. Proteins on the cell called dopamine receptors that react to the chemical dopamine and change the functioning of the cell as a result, some of these more sensitive than others, and there's other structures in the brain as well that are genetically determined to have a stronger or weaker affect to dopamine and these are societas with up, ticker kinds of personalities. Okay. There's an example she has short. There's different dopamine tracks in the brain. And depending on which one is particularly active. We can see different manifestations of this obsession with a future. So for example, there is a track called. Amis Olympic track which we in the book called the desire pathway, and if you've got a very strong desire pathway, you're going to be at risk of becoming addicted to drugs, you're going to be constantly pursuing pleasure. That's where you're going to get. You're more more more. There's another pathway though, that goes up to the frontal lobes, we call that the control pathway as opposed to desire pathway, which is more immediate gratification. This plans for longer term gain. And so people with very strong control systems are going to be more the type a workaholic. Okay. They can't relax. They work incredibly hard. They're the kind of people who can afford beach houses. But can't enjoy them lasting. They're going to be able to do is sit on the beach soaking up the sun, very very highly opener. Two people can have mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, and then very closely related to that surprisingly are very creative people. Yeah. People who are musicians actors writers, they can also have very high levels of dopamine. And that's why we see in this population a somewhat higher vulnerability to mental illness. A rollback just to phrase you use that so key to understanding this if you can hold onto the phrase, and that is dopamine driving the pursuit of pleasure. The takeaway is pursuit. Not pleasure. It promises that if you do these things if you do all this heavy mental lifting you will have pleasure at the end dopamine is literally unequipped to give you that pleasure in any way that has to be provided by the here, and now neuro transmitters, so it promises all day long, your ambitious say why do you work were a work? So I can so I can be successful. So I can be so I'm gonna have great pleasure in great things. Find the person who says that who's actually enjoying those things like you said about the beach the beach house the one who can afford it is not the one who will enjoy it. That's what. Dopamine. Does it send you on the trip promising that there are great rewards at the end. But it can't do anything about that. And if you're not equipped to in in gauge in that experience in that appreciation. You're not going to be happy. There's an old saying to travel hopefully is better than to arrive that say. Say no, I haven't I like that. It's it's very much double edged sword. If traveling hopefully is enjoyable it's going to give you the motivation and the incentive to get things done. But then when you arrive it's all over, and so you can work hard. But you can never enjoy. What you or I'm gonna I'm gonna say this. And I think it's the difference between us as one of degrees writing this book was a lot of fun. We enjoyed it. We had fun disagreements. We had silly arguments. We had serious serious discussions. And I'm going to say for my part writing the book was a lot more fun than having in your hand. I mean, I I'm proud of it, and I learned a lot. But that two year course, we went through I wouldn't trade that for anything. And it was it was simply the experience of of going through that. Yeah. That's good. I wanted to touch on that you mentioned about addiction so addictions. We were hearing about this all the time now, especially with. Hard drugs like opioids. It's part of our national conversation. Many people obviously today are addicted to drugs. And what role does dopamine play an addiction, and has what has been the research in this area about dopamine really doping is the essence of addiction any drug. That's potentially addictive is going to cause the release of dopamine, the activity of dopamine in that desire circuit, and conversely, any substance, which causes this dopamine activity is going to be addictive. There's a lot of debate sometime ago about whether or not marijuana could be addictive. It can. Yeah. And now that we're seeing these very high potent strains available. We are finding people who are losing control of their marijuana use but opioids cocaine this causes a lot more dope. Manley's. And so these are extremely addictive there's certain behaviors that cause dopamine release that also can get out of control. I don't think there's if there's a consensus yet about whether we're going to call it addiction, but things like video games consuming pornography. These are things that look very much like addiction. It just sort of seems like these all all these temptations out there in the world. Maybe they're always spend. But in our modern age, there seems to be so many, and that's really what dopamine wants to the pro to promise that you'll enjoy these things and you find yourself trapped in in the cycle of being addicted to to drug or whether it's said some of these things were they're still figuring out today. Whether it's an actual addiction, but video games pornography that kind of thing just this is if something really can take hold. Yes, that's right. You know, in the old days, we used to think about addiction as physical dependence that is that somebody would get tolerance they need more and more to get the same effect or they'd have withdrawal. If they stopped using it. And so we used to treat addiction through detoxification. We thought if we can get all the drug out of the body, send them out clean and sober. They'd have a fresh start. And it did not work. Yeah. Because that that's not what open does dopamine, not only gives you pleasure. When you use the drug, but more. Shortly. It gives you craving at its craving. That's the essence of addiction, and we all know what that feels like you say, I'm gonna start a new exercise routine. Set my alarm clock for thirty minutes early. The alarm goes off, and you crave sleep. And the experiences it actually diminishes free. Well, it does not take it away. Completely people still have choice, but it makes making the right choice so much more difficult because we we respond to the biological activity of our brain and dopamine is very very powerful in that respect. Dan. Would you talk about I remember with us? I came up when we were working, and you talked about it in terms of logic, which was another I'm wearing this word out. But it was another revelation for me the thing that I learned from you about this was that it ceases to be. About craving so much as well. This is the right thing. This is a smart thing to do. It's logical that I would sacrifice these things to get the hit of this drug. How could you think? Otherwise, can you expand on that idea little bit? That's a great point. You know, we see the attic let's say that we see an alcohol who's homeless. He's out on the street. He's got a bottle in a Brown. Paper bag. He's given up his family his job his home his health. He's given up everything in order to consume this drug. We look at from the outside. It seems utterly irrational with somebody destroy their life. Just so that they can drink. From the inside, though, it's actually very rational because you have to remember that these circuits were designed by volition to keep us alive and make a successful. The problem with drugs is is they give this chemical blast to the dope. Missing. Almost like a guided missile that causes more dopamine stimulation than natural behaviors the brain rates behaviors based on how much dopamine they produce. So earning a million dollars produces more dopamine than earning ten dollars. So you're gonna go after that big payoff using drugs produces more dopamine than providing for your children. And so we can still use different parts of our brains to say, hey, that's wrong. But our motivation system is telling us logically. It makes more sense to use the drug Hammy. Obviously a lot of people often look at addiction as due to moral failings, lack of willpower personality, falls, you name it. But you've wrote that dopamine is a major factor. Why people get addicted to things as you're saying it, it's not just about detoxing the cravings. And it's about your brain constantly want. You to go back to what you were using. And in your book how overcoming addiction takes enormous strength, determination and support. So why can you explain again, why does dopamine make it so hard to kick addiction? Why is it bring people back? And that's it is behavior from the inside versus the outside from the outside. Does look like a moral failing? It looks like people are just using very bad judgment or their indulging themselves their desire for pleasure. From the inside though. It's very very different. They've got these feelings of overwhelming cravings, if we look at it from that point of view from brain behavior, we can look at it as a medical illness, and we can use medical treatments to address it. And the simple fact is that medical treatments are extremely successful. Psychotherapy is the most important one. We'll also have medications that can increase the likelihood of success of psychotherapy. If you just look at it as a moral failing. You're just not going to have a lot of success and. And I think that's why it's so important to become a little bit more sophisticated. Go beyond just making interpretations of the behavior to ask yourself. What's going on in the brain? And how can we overcome this pathological brain behavior? Do you think that's where the conversations are going in this country about how to treat addictions that we're seeing I think so I think there's still an enormous amount of stigma? General illnesses are more stigmatized compared to other illnesses, but we're making progress you're probably too young to remember. But there was a time when having cancer was stigmatized and now. In your family cancer. You hushed it up. It was an enormously shameful thing today that seems utterly absurd. Right. Absolutely. It was always, you know, awareness programs walks raisers. There's a scene in motion pretrial Woody Allen picture, actually. And the parents are talking there in the nineteen forties in the mother goes she has cancer just whispers make big thing about how you never said out loud. Yeah. That's right, so yeah. Mystic that we're going to get there with brain diseases and even addictions it's going to take a little while. But I think that more and more people are realizing what's going on and tell you what there's nothing that health people overcome stigma better than experiencing themselves or having a loved one. Seems like it does push tied more. I mean, something like opioids is affecting so many people and friends family that sort of thing. People say, look, I know my son is a good person somehow got trapped in this web. Therefore, maybe I was wrong. Maybe this really is something besides moral failing and moving onto to creativity which is always a fun topic to talk about. So what is the role of dopamine in creative behavior? And what did did before I mentioned that to you talked about how creativity madness are more related than each is to a ordinary brain. He talk a little more about that. Sure. So let me just go back to the mantra the role of dopamine is to maximize future resources. So dopamine is not interested in things that already exist or simply things that you already have it always want something new something more, and that's it's linked to creativity. It's creativity is making connections between things. That did not previously seem connected. So don't mean scanning the environment looking for opportunities to get new resources, some not that means going after resources that are already there. But in a much more exciting fashion, sometimes it means creating resources that never existed before. Highly dopaminergic people are easily distracted in many cases, they see something they want to know what it is. And so there are a lot more random things, and I'm speaking in broad terms. But there are a lot more random things concept images. What have you floating around in their brains than non dopaminergic people are people have lower levels of dopamine. And by just by dint of having more things more likely to associate things that haven't been associated before. And when you said that a moment ago, Dan, I think that's if you're listening to this wondering, what about creativity? This is one good way to begin to understand it creativity is associating things that have not been commonly associated before. When I talk about this in seminar talk about Brian Wilson as an example, and you listen to a song his his his his magnum opus good vibrations. And it's it's so familiar to us now. Now, we don't think much about it. But when you listen to you'll hear for instance, a thera Mun in the background. Let sound like that you hear in it up until that point it had only been used as a sound effect and horror movies. But Brian Wilson brought it in notice that in this little three minute pop. Pop song it actually has three movements like a lot classical pieces. Do there was so much floating around in this man's branding. Brought it all together for the first time. It's especially striking. If you listen to that song. And then actually do it in this order you listen to the song that was number one before could vibrations. And then listen to the one before was a song called Winchester cathedral, which was the appear to me of grocery store music. And then if anything then knocked it out this wonderful Milan JR. Of sound that Brian Wilson created? He's clearly a highly dopaminergic person who walked that line and fell between creativity. And madness I believe he's been diagnosed with schizophrenia or disorder. Schizophrenia. Affective disorders. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. If I could try to make that connection, let's say you're walking down the street, and you see a pebble lying in a puddle. You're probably not going to think anything of it. But if a highly dopaminergic poet is walking down the street and sees that same pebble. He may feel that that pebbles speaking to him in a very deep way that that pebble is revealing something about humanity and the world he may even feel like that that pebble somehow reveals the hidden divinity of the world, and he may go and write very beautiful poem about that that inspires dozens of people inspiration. Like, you know, these domain can help inspiration. He's making connections metaphor. Yeah. Now, I just want to take this poet. And I wanna turn up his dopamine a limb. Now, he sees the puddle and instead of metaphorically speaking to him it's really speaking to him instead of revealing divinity of the world. It reveals the fact that he himself is God. Now, we've tipped over into melt mental illness. So having a lot of dopamine can be a very good thing. Commune very exciting thing. But if you have too much you get a break with reality. There's a splendid demonstration of this and involves again a famous artist Bob Dylan's subterranean homesick blues. And whether you're familiar with the words are not share very quickly. Just a few of them. Johnny's in the basement mixing up the medicine. I'm on the pavement thinking about the government. It goes on and on like this that is one step removed from word salad, which I think is the term you used for win schizophrenics are sort of speaking out of control that that's completely organized ways. And so that's that's one step. Hey from ink pen walked to, mommy. Well, that's a dog. And I bought sound. Yes. So sound like the non sequiturs, it's just someone. It's that fine line between. Oh, here are these things. I can put them together into something useful in here these things and they're just going to spill out. That's there's a fine line between our insanity. Sometimes we don't know. Sometimes initially we say, this is crazy. This is not art. And then maybe few decades later, we take a second look, and we say, wait a minute that is art Hintze for people with serious, mental illness. I mean, what is what is dopamine due to someone's brain? And how is that treated? So I think that schizophrenia is the classic illness of too much dopamine. When when we scan our environment for things that are important what we're most interested in is how is it important for me. Let's say you're sitting at a stop killing time, and you're reading the newspaper, and you're reading about some Canadian trade agreement. Your dopamine is pretty much going to be shut down probably less your Trey. Unless you work for a company that trades. Brave. Interesting. But let's say you read it and all of a sudden you run across the name of somebody. You went to school with us involved in the negotiations. You're gonna get some dopamine. Yeah. I know that person. All right. Let's connected to the story. Exactly, let's say you keep reading and you were across your own name. You're getting big surge of dopamine. So dopamine response to things in the environment that your brain thinks is important to you. Now a schizophrenia we flipped the equation. You've you've got the dopamine circuit going off at inappropriate times. That's what that means. Is that you may see some thing. That's completely neutral. Your dopamine circuit goes off and you develop the mistaken belief that it's about you. You're watching TV and some radio or TV announcer is talking about some CIA spying program. All the sudden dopamine, circuit goes off for no reason felt the idea that the CIA is spying on you. I had a patient who was walking down the street, and he saw stop sign, and he felt the belief that his mother had put that there to tell them to stop thinking about women, and we call that paranoia. That's when you interpret things personally that. Actually have nothing to do with you. Yeah. So the way we treat it is by giving medications that blocked opening and. Nightly completely. And that's part of the art of giving these medications we wanna give just the right dose that the paranoia the delusions go away. But it doesn't take away all of the patients enjoyment and motivation in life. It can be a tricky thing to do. But no matter what a patient's life usually gets dramatically better when they start taking these medications, and you talking about an achievement with with dopamine, how it helps us push us to this next level. So what is the role of dopamine in making a successful? So I gonna talk about what how makes us successful. And also how can make us. Why cheat steal into all sorts of bad things. Can you know, commit an act of violence. So to get a sense of what it feels like to have dopamine, pushing you along versus trying to go forward without dopamine think about working on a project that you're incredibly excited about typically, it's going to be a project that involves some degree of creativity. I do a little bit of programming. I also love to make PowerPoint presentations on total nerd but do elaborate things. Cenex presentation, though, it's really captured your attention because boring. Be interesting, right. Working on that. And completely lose track. I'm excited. I'm happy. I'm fulfilled. That's dopamine pushing me along feels fantastic alternatively. I may be filling out some paperwork for insurance reimbursement. Yeah. Unless they're. Dopamine, and I've just got push my and I'm looking for any excuse to get away from check my Email. My voicemail messages dopamine makes feel really really good things. And that's why sometimes people tell young young people the most important things to find your passion. That's another word for the activity that stimulates dopamine. Okay. So that can be something like job or a hobby or immersion asked me where you're immersed in. Yes. Personally, meaningful doesn't matter. What it is. And it also can then dopamine can also push us to buy the act of cheating. You might also be hurting other people, correct? Yeah. It can do that. It can make us obsessed with our work and take us away from a personal life. And of course, a work life. Balance is very important and dopamine can ruin that balance. But it can also prevent us from getting satisfaction from what we're working for so hard. It's never enough. I I saw patient today who is an incredibly successful real estate developer. He has more money than he will ever be able to spend and through his life. He's achieved higher and higher and higher levels. But every time he takes his step. He starts comparing himself to the person at the higher level and his self esteem is terrible. I in spite of all of his achievements. Spite of having a wonderful family, he constantly sees himself as a failure. Because he's always looking for what he has not yet achieved. And that's a pathological behavior of dopamine understand too. That dopamine doesn't say what's the best way to achieve this goal in a moral way. Yeah. What's the best way to get there? And it falls to us and the in our development and use of the other neuro transmitters to say, this isn't good. If you're obsessed with winning anything goes, right, unless I mean to dopamine anything goes. Unless they're some measure of of activity on the other side. That's right. You know, there's two very different ways of looking at what's best. I bring the final touches on a paper that looks at the famous trolley problem from the point of view of dopamine. I really with. Explain it. Yeah. So here's a situation. There's a runaway trolley barreling down the tracks out of control five workers on the tracks. They can't escape for whatever reason, and they're all going to be killed. However, there's a sidetrack and on that sidetrack is one single worker and next to you is a switch you can pull that switch and what pulling the switch will do is divert the the train onto the sidetrack. So the question is is it ethically? Permissible to pull the switch to save five lives at the expense of one at the tough question while you don't wanna be that conductor on that show. Now, if you survey people about that about ninety percent of people are going to say that it's ethically. Permissible to pull the switch, and we call that a utilitarian approach ethics maximize future resources. It's very dopaminergic. It's better to save five lives at the expense of one. So this is a situation which dopamine determines ethical approach. But let me change the situation slightly. And what might change is going to do is? It's going to shift the neurotransmitters you're going to use to think about this problem. And it's going to change the way you view it. All right. So here's the other way trains going down the tracks five people on the tracks. But now instead of sidetrack your standing on a bridge next to another man, and you know, that if you push him onto the tracks his weight will slow down the train enough to stop it and save the lives of five. Workers. The question is is it ethically? Permissible to push that man onto the tracks. You survey people about this and ninety percent now say, no, it's not Athens permissible to do it. Now staying, but it's it's the same five to one I wanted to five and the differences that when you're looking at things from a distance, you tend to use your dopamine circuits when you look at things up close use you here and now circuits they follow a different ethical tradition. Not utilitarianism but harm version and Harverson says that it's wrong to hurt people, even if others will benefit from they're suffering utilitarianism says we should act to save lives. These are both very very valid ways of approaching a problem. But what's interesting is that depending on the location in three dimensional space. Our brain uses different circuits to process, the problem, and we come up with different solutions. Well, sounds very complex. It's hard to believe this is all happening in our Willett has rains profound implications for drone warfare. How do you program the machine if you're going to be Pierre-Louis utilitarian, the the answers easy? But then you have to deal with the aftermath. There was even a film about I'm sorry. I forget the name. We talk about it in the book. This really is I- problem today, and it has to be answered one way or the other. There's no middle ground here. I think with the film looked at was that they were going to kill some terrorists who were planning a plot. That was going right blow up a stadium. But in order to do that they were going to have to also kill an innocent child. Right. And the question was should we save the hundreds of lives in the stadium at the expense of intentionally murdering the innocent child, and it's an updated version of the trolley problem. And I think it's interesting to note that if you if you hear about it, or if you see it on a screen or if you're touching every. Level. That increases that here now participation makes the problem harder. So you think it'd be more difficult? If you're sitting somewhere remote lead conduct using a drone as opposed to being flying a plane easier easier easier to program the drone to say take out the terrorists and the children. Yeah. Then it would be if you were standing right there on location. Let's say with a gun, and you're told pull the trigger, but you've gotta shoot through the child to get the terrorist. In fact, the easiest of all is to program the drone to do it. Because there's nobody involved at all everything is hypothetical handsome pattern that you're you're dealing with not particulars. So the easiest of all is to program a drone to take the utilitarian answer because you don't have to feel anything when you write code. This may never be used. He's hope it never does very complicated. It's well are complicated. Complicated in a way. It's it's. Gut twisting Lee simple. Here's another simple question. How should self driving cars be programmed? Let's say that yourself driving car is going to get an accident. Should it be programmed to minimize loss of life? Or should it be programmed to save the life of its owner? Too difficult question. Yeah. Because right now car is just it's obviously, it's not. It stinks Yuli of we do as we drive to protect ourselves. And that's on that we have no control over. Crowd of people if we think it's going to save her own life and Tonto decision. We make it's but with swelter self-driving cars that becomes a decision. We need to make as we program it, and it's very difficult decision. And nobody's talking about it. Too much. Interesting ethical we more removed by using technologies. Interesting ethical issues that come into play, but you mentioned about winning. So you're I'm winning and morality. I think that leads me to my next question about politics. So how is dopamine involved in politics and does it affect whether we're liberal conservative or moderate? When I was researching the book, this was the thing that surprised me the most it never occurred to me that political ideology could be so influenced by brain chemistry. We can figure out who's more dopaminergic and who's more here. And now simply by looking at the labels that are attached the different parties, the left calls themselves progressives, there should progress. They want to make the world a better place, and that's maximizing future resources. And so they're interested in things like taking control helping people to live healthier longer lives by making it difficult for them to access unhealthy food or tobacco or alcohol or things like that. And so they're very much about taking control of things to maximize the goodness the right on the other side, they call themselves conservatives they're much less interested in change their much else. Interested in things that are new. They're more here. Now, they want to preserve the things they valued that they've inherited from their forebears. And so they're much less likely to have active. Murgic circuits, and we can look at you networks, and we can actually predict a person's political ideology by looking at their dopamine jeans. Well, that's fascinating not only that, but we can actually shift people to the left or the right by surreptitiously influencing what parts of their brain are going to be more active. So for example, if you are under threat that's going to activate your here now circuits because you need to protect what you already have. So there's this fascinating experiment in which they survey people about their political ideology, and they randomized them in one they put a hand sanitizer dispenser in the room as very son reminder of the risk of infection. This simple presence of that hand sanitizer. Push people to be more conservative and their answers to the survey. That's interesting. Yeah. I mean, I guess I'm just thinking about can you is. So you're saying like. Less about persuasion tread, bring someone your side and more about some of the chemicals in our brains. Unfortunately, that seems to be the case and politicians know, this we know that when there is a terrorist attack more any kind of threat to the country. It pushes people to the right. We also know that when there's the possibility of prosperity it pushes people to the left. And so the saying is to provide or protect provide is more to the left. Let's make this country a better place. Let's progress. More protect is more to the right. Let's maintain the good things that we have. And that's more here. Now neurotransmitters and can you increase or decrease of dopamine? You have you said it's a lot of it's determined by genetics and thinking not a person who's affected by serious mental illness, but for a general person can you increase that everybody wants increase their. More more. Yeah. The answer is yes, you can increase your dopamine. But it's a dangerous thing to do. Okay. Because I read an article that said you can eat more protein exercise in sleep more isn't even true or good advice. Healthy lifestyle. But that seems a little simplistic you're saying, it's it's not as easy as that. You know, that might influence your dopamine tiny probably not enough to have an effect on you. Drugs like cocaine and not not good thing. Don't wanna do things. You don't want to. Okay. So, you know, people will take Fatemi, and it will make them work harder. The more excited. It will focus them in on being goal directed put eventually we'll also ruin their life. So artificially, boosting dopamine is not the best strategy for successful life and just to be technical for a minute. It doesn't actually increase the volume of dope. Made it increases the dopaminergic activity in across the cells. Right. Yes. That's it increases the amount of dopamine that's active at any given point in time. But that's basically by ferrying it from an inactive place to an app. Ryan, right. It's not an increase in the volume of dopamine. It's an increase in the actively associated open yard in the same way to antidepressant can work. There are some illnesses that are characterized by by problematically, low levels of dopamine, for example, attention deficit disorder, and in that case, it is appropriate to prescribe something like that Amine, which is the actively of dopamine, and that's. Very rid Riddell. All right, people abuse that as well to say folks goal oriented focused they do. Yeah. Parkinson's disease is also an illness too little dopamine, and we we prescribe built manure drugs to treat that too. And in our book, we mentioned how that that can be very effective for Parkinson's symptoms, but it can also get people into trouble. Yeah. That was an interesting you're talking about how can lead people to have a much higher interest in Saxon gay gambling Blance. That's case reports of people who have been completely absent from sex entire life. They're treated with these drugs, and all of a sudden they become compulsively sexual. There's also examples though of people developing artistic and poetic talent as result of getting these dopamine boosting drugs. This is probably something that studied in psychiatry a lot or you know in the medical field. It's a fan area of study. Yeah. That's absolutely fascinating. So can we control dopamine to us to our? Vantage and not to our payroll. The alternate question. You know, one of the oldest pieces of wisdom can be found at the Greek oracle of Delphi. And that is no they self if you know what's going on in your brain. You don't have to be a slave to it. You can say I'm experiencing cravings or I'm experiencing dissatisfaction. And maybe it's not because of the reality on living in maybe it's because of the way my brain is responding to reality. And that allows us to take step back. We call it the observing ego to sort of step back and look at how responding and say is this the best way to respond or do I want to maybe act contrary to my biology and make a different kind of decision. So I think that knowing and the able to recognize when you don't mean circuits active when you're here now circuits active, and is this really the way you want to behave. That's what's going to empower you. I'll add. Just this because that's right on the nose. If you're aware that there are two ways to anticipate to experience the world to an -ticipant it or to experience it and to learn which one is the troll point for you for most people probably most people listening to this podcast. It's going to be on the dopaminergic side dissipation. Yes, anticipation to, cultivate, your just experience where you are to put the fuss simple things like put the phone down during dinner, turn it off when you're talking to somebody look in their eyes and listen to what they say don't worry about what you're going to say next. Listen to be here. Now as the phrase goes, the simple awareness that this exists at all is a profound gift that you can give yourself and the irony is that when people do that they talk about how much they enjoy it. And yet they do it so little because dopamine circuits or saying don't waste your time. In the good news is this is a choice. Anyone can make. Yeah. And this is what spur seeing with this emphasis on mindfulness and people wanting to be here. Now, I think because we are living in a world. That's very dopamine Centric. Yeah. With constant instant gratification all the time. So that's where I imagine. This is me just Dettori Leising. But we're we're seeing this this boom and mindfulness. We really do have enough. We don't need a new cell phone bigger TV, we need to just experience we have and enjoy it. I do have one last question for you. Where can people find your book, you can go to molecule of more dot com to read more about it? You can get Amazon or anywhere such excellent books are sold. Absolutely. And in ten countries. I think by the end of twenty twenty and translate into new languages. Well, let's mazing. Thank you so much for joining us. This has been absolutely fascinating conversation. Educate. Lynn, it's been a pleasure. Thank you. If you've been a longtime listener or new to our podcast, please consider giving us rating in itunes, and if you have time write a review, we'd really appreciate it. Also, we like to hear from you directly. So if you have any questions comments or ideas to share, please Email me at K Luna at APS dot org. That's K L U N A at a p dot org. Speaking of psychology as part of AP podcast network, which includes the podcast AP journals dialogue about new psychological research and progress notes about the practice of psychology. You can find our podcast on itunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcast. You can also visit our website. Speaking of psychology dot org to listen to more episodes and to see resources on the topics. We discuss I'm Caitlyn Luna with the American psychological association.

dopamine Dopamine Dr Dan Lieberman American psychological associa cocaine Mike long Caitlyn Luna Mick Jagger schizophrenia George Costanza Dr Lieberman Evelyn Dr LeBron Mr. long ravens raven George Washington University Georgetown University Winchester cathedral Lucien airy Brian Wilson
soulo - take a walk with her... heart thoughts, dopamine detox, + navigating this new era of awakening

Your Own Magic

40:33 min | 6 months ago

soulo - take a walk with her... heart thoughts, dopamine detox, + navigating this new era of awakening

"Another day. Another hike the same river. You'll hear in the background. I am so grateful to be here at home. So if you've been experiencing any anxiety or depression or sadness hopelessness weight gain weight loss during quarantine. Guess what you are not alone. My love humans are so valuable. We have the ability to shift into higher seat of being hired AC- consciousness using the power of our own awareness recognizing where we're bringing our attention to now it is influencing where we're at. This is something you know. I'm just simply delivering a reminder because perhaps a lot of us need at this time now at the magic began before we begin this solo episode. I just wanted to share that. This episode is sponsored by skill. Share if you are interested in exploring and creating during this time while many of us are in quarantine or just adjusting to this new lifestyle. I highly recommend taking some time to create and perhaps even learn from some masters of different crafts. And you can do that when you go to skill share dot com for its lash your own magic and you receive at two months. Four free of their premium membership more about this in the middle of the episode enjoy. I love salt tries. It's Raquel I am here by the river bed in Utah. I've made it back home as you know. I've been travelling the world now for about four five years. If you know if you are familiar with my journey at all and there are pockets of time where I come back come to Utah in this. Tim Appeals so different. Perhaps it's that shift in our evolution where we realize the beauty of home but also an energy that has seen grow. And it's so beautiful here. I was missing missing in craving the energy of Aspen trees in the Pine Trees and the rivers beside being. I just saw a deer crossing that wild mountain. Life is so for me at this time and I love it. I felt very divinely. Guided to just pull out my phone on this walk and share some inner heart thoughts and our feelings as we know that the mind is not as powerful as the heart in fact. I do believe everything that we manifest everything that we create in. Our life doesn't come from the mine thoughts but the heart thoughts the feelings that align us with our current state and each day we create new heart thought about how we feel about ourselves about our environment about our friends and family and strangers pound. What's going on right now in the world and it may shift vibration a bit to something that feels a little higher or a little lower. It seems as though it may not be easy. Our mind has made it very abundantly. Clear that it's a difficult this time and to be so careful to be so cautious because the collective is doing so as well the news which I've heard a lot lately since I was living with my parents for a bit and my father. He LOVES HIS CNN. Who LOVES HIS CBS News? Well he gets to do what he wants with his life of course and I've had to let go of control of that. Sometimes not easy for a w but it also feels like the path of least resistance. I do hear the discernment the Fearful Stories that they might curate. And so if you do hear the news. Please listen with a height in heightened state of awareness detached from the heart strings that they're trying to pull and just listen for the information versus the feelings that they might try to shift within you because right now our earth I truly believe is actually experiencing a great awakening. There will be things in people and actions and situations that will be revealed because I think that whereas we're over we're over feeling at all controlled from the situation. I feel a presence trail that is said to be haunted. You look around. You can feel it because it's right next to build minor areas where there were a lot of accidents big accident in fact with a mine miners. Less lives though. I believe that they've probably moved on from this area. However maybe some of their energy could still be stuck or to just be presence of an animal deer Moose hopefully not not in line but I know I'm fine anyway for whatever reason this has made a great impact on you on your heart on how you feel you feel as though your brain frequency whatever has lowered from the state that your mind assumes in which it should be to not worry because you're also taking on many other people's energies at this time as well keeping elevating or beginning to elevate your vibration at this time when I say vibration I just mean simply the state of your being in which you are. Fueling in living and experiencing whatever's going on around you mirror going on within you so let's say we happen to be living and experiencing some depression a lot of fear a lot of anxiety and yes. I've been on this journey for so long but that doesn't mean I'm not healing. I am human. However I do incorporate rules to elevate me from a lower vibrational human state when I am at that state sometimes that means honoring our energetic boundaries. And we see that feeling low so I've had a lot of podcast. Recently on helping people outcome is that state whether it's Zaidi fear. Depression those states. That are very down very low shoe. That could be the ego but I also see that as a voice that is keeping us so in the physical where we forget the magic that lies beyond the physical and while we're not honoring ourselves our soul because we may be so consumed with what's going on or the vibrations of others are carrying. Those who are around us as energy is extremely contagious. But the beautiful thing is they don't have the power to shift you from that state you do for me. I needed a quick dopamine detox because sometimes when we excessively try to release stope amine get those dopamine hits. Perhaps it's with food like a nice cookie cake. Whatever gives you a dopamine hit but food. Perhaps it's over consumption server consuming content that is conscious or just fun or mine. Then you just do it just to kind of numb out but for entertainment purposes which is totally fine at times but again sometimes we become addicted to that. Dopamine hit that dopamine fix when we over reach for those dopamine hits it's fine moments but at the same time when not barrel overflows its suppresses. The inner voice the intuitive guidance the angels or also what? I've been really talking with aliens. That are trying to get us back to source. I'm climbing up the hill right now by the way so we love a good tool to go beyond the physical right breath work. Plant MEDICINE ALONG. Nice Meditation but how about a tool for the physical or what lumine claims as the first vice to hack your metabolism and let you know when it's time ts fats or CARBS for fuel. This is a nice small hand-held device that you simply blow into and claims to accurately measure metabolism you simply breathe into the sensor that determines your co two concentration which indicates the fuel your body needs and this has helped a lot of people get more in tune with their vessel how to track their metabolism. And just know when and what to fuel the body with for optimal digestion and fat bird as it was once only available for hospitals and top athletes. They even provide workout optimization. So you can see after your workout the impact that that workout made on your body and right now for a limited time you not only receive fifty dollars off also free shipping when you click the link in the show notes so again checkout lumine for fifty dollars off link in the show notes and halfway now back with the episode another day. Another hike the same river. You'll hear in the background. I am so grateful to be here at home and walk in this energy and I feel because I've been able to spend a lot of time alone now that I got an Airbnb I've been able to fill the recenter and Nan so liberating something. I was talking about my last walk which was talking about this new era. I mean we are walking into new era a new a new awakening a great awakening. In fact we've had the Great Depression and now we may find ourselves. Experiencing a heightened state of awakening is about to. It is raining. It's raining anyway. You know many of us may have felt a bit discombobulated during the first integration of quarantine at first it might might have felt far from feeling free however this is the universe that not only is gifting Mama. Earth breath of fresh air because everyone is inside and we're honoring that so she may Survi- the also moment for us to find true to freedom by tapping into the vibration of deep inner peace which brings infantile levels of freedom. No matter where we said and also just listen to more magic. The vibration magic I feel like I'm experiencing right now. This rain Ho Man Mama Guy knows. I love her tears of love now. Many of us before we walk into you know inner we know we may be experiencing more of it of peace after we had experience. A contrast. It's how we recognize it fully record which is even more liberating so if you've been experiencing any anxiety or depression or sadness hopelessness weight gain weight loss during quarantine. Well guess what you are not alone. My Love Real. Humans are so knowledgeable. We have the ability to shift into higher seat of being. Hyder state of consciousness using the power of our own awareness and recognizing. We're bringing our attention to now. It is influencing where we're at. This is something you know. I'm just simply delivering a reminder because perhaps a lot of us need at this time and also remember that most of humanity does them selves to follow the orders in control of Government Inc which side note you know I I do believe it is wise to stay in and cautious this time. Not Because the government tells us to but out of respect from Earth because they feel like this is divinely guided and also perhaps to show the elders who might be feeling. This is something I've just kind of recognize. A lot of elders may have been feeling a little disrespected in the sense or afraid of not being remembered or seat in some way because millennials are just we have so much distracting us at all times and so this is just the way also honor them showing them that look. We're doing a three human vulnerable. We care about all of humanity. You know it's a beautiful way for humanity to right which I believe the extra terrestrial or like just talking about anyway so this power that we feel you know. Some people might assume we're being controlled by the government preparations and we're not falling true nature of wind to be free and liberated ever remember though the government. They're really only following previous orders. Order to climb that ladder might be blinded by the power of Richard Nature that we have the power of creating our own reality all of us no matter what anybody including that power. They'd like to see themselves as even though where we more powerful for ourselves and they're more powerful for themselves but not over us if you are following along but I'm saying but simply just like to critter unreality unfortunately more and more are waking up to this especially at this time which is really really freaking cool and not you know. There's so much more to life than what lies beyond the physical. I'M GONNA get into my car by finish this rent. Yummy sure interruption just to share the magic of our sponsor skills share which happens to be an online learning community that is offering you two months four free of their premium membership when you go to skill share dot com for your own magic and why not especially right now while we are all inside. This is the time to explore new skills and deepen existing passions getting lost in the creativity of whatever our souls guiding us to and trying out many different classes from school share. You can stay inspired and express yourself and even connect with a community of other creatives and like minded beings on skill share which is phenomenal. There are those that are interested in writing reading poetry reading scripts digital illustration aiding and. There's many different classes on those kind of arts. I know a lot of people. Let a yot means have been taking skills shared to learn more about photography especially as more people are creating their own platforms where skill sure also has classes on helping out with that like podcasts in Youtube. Yada Yada so it doesn't hurt. It's two months of pre-membership four free join skill share by going to go dot com forward slash. Your own magic. Yup Free thoughts skill share dot for slash your own magic and now on with the show. I know that at this time. Any tool on your spiritual tool belt that deeply deeply resonates with you would be wise to pull out news. So you may on another level understand and experiencing an experience it because we learn all of these tools we might be able to conceive of understanding but this is the human experience which is an experiential experience in order for us to fully comprehend understanding. We have to experience it so pulling out those tools and actually practicing at that is what will change your vibration and when you are at an elevated vibration. Those that are around. That might be listening to the news or might be living in fear they won't be able to influence your vibration as much no matter what is delivered because you're at a higher state. You are feeling at a higher. I'm not talking about better. By the way when I say higher I just mean more aligned with you because you are a high being a high self aligned with that of the mind and more aligned with you. You're being your soul which is way more contagious than any low vibrational energy so anyway. Obviously the key tool is will any tool that you use such as meditation that simply allows you to slow down your mind. Serve your thoughts because when you are able to bring awareness to the thoughts and watch them. Slow observed them even transcend into some kinder more loving voice. Because you are aligning more with source which is pure loving and kind and you feel the cells of your vessel. Just vibrate at a higher state which feels warm. And I'm not talking about temperature warm. You know what I'm talking about. That warranty cosy blanket surrounding you and that feeling of certainty. And just unconditional love and allow those feelings to be your guide and that is simply elevating your vibration and again it could be meditation. It could be breath. We could be dancing. Could be spending time in nature. Which is my number one. Go to of all go. To's of all things which is not something that I teach your guide. I just simply say go out in nature. That's it that's all you have to do. Just gotTA major but again recognize whatever feelings have been you know bottled up and experience them. Allow yourself to experience them. Oh Man I have been crying haven't experiencing them but then I also just feel such a sense of release and then more love and it's just constant cycle that's our human cycle and it's so nice and liberating but then you just feel like you opening up your channel two more and more and more the more you open up your channel consciously to divinity the more you are able to receive from higher states and the more at ease at peace no matter where you're at feel so good honestly. The greatest gift is to not even be concerned about what happened yesterday and to be so stoked about the now and also about tomorrow just not care about whatever troubled you use today and if you are finding trouble in tuning in and neutralizing your vibration from the lower. Stay as you know I. It's your ego is tricky okay. It's very very smart at being trick. Tricky and manipulative and deceitful. So no need to go shane. Yourself and blame yourself. It's just this experience. The mind is such a trickster. So perhaps you know one thing that really helps is recognizing what's influencing my mind. An Ego lot one powerful thing powerful hula guests in a sense is a dopamine detox. Now I'm only using that term not because it just sounds so fun and fancy but when you do so you know. Dopamine received dopamine hit your neurons are experiencing pleasure your whole body your whole vessels experiencing a sense of pleasure that just feels really really good in the moment and so were craving now all the time and so we're seeking things that will give us dopamine heads all the time and especially seeking things that might not be so natural a lot of likes on instagram or just going on social media in general new finding entertaining. Youtube shows also receiving a lot of personal development content. That makes our ego. Feel like. We're doing something good. We're doing something beneficial and we just get into this mode and less action less doing less creation mode and that can also because the entire time we are being inspired like right. Now you might be feeling inspired or you might not but if you're feeling inspired and you are seeking some creation however you never live up to because you just continue to consume consume consume. Because that's where the dopamine ha is more so than the creation than the doing than the training than the exercising yours even a dopamine hit from the consuming even the food by the way then that sensory overload sometimes that overflow may distract us from the guidance at the Universe is trying to deliver us and that new lower vibration not because it's the content number considering which also does sometimes influence it but more so the sensory overload because we're not listening to ourselves. We're listening to everything else and distracted by everything else and not just heaven quarantine that we want to do is just distract distract distract ourselves. Even if it's scary our mind Thomas. That's boring but really I think it's our ego was just telling us is just scared scared that we're really gonNa feel and see and hear the inner guidance and honestly silence ego a bit quiet the ego which the ego wants to be so loud so it's scary to sit in silence space or to just be simply there with nature which by the way nature is indeed like seem beautiful views a dopamine hit that such a natural dopamine hit that it fuels us with more inspired energy is aligned with us because we aren't danger anyway we're so easily swayed by the humanly enjoyments. Which of course they do have their time and place but again it can be so so easy to use social and my listeners payment and drink alcohol and weed and foods that like cakes and pizzas which of course all of the above can have their Tampa police if we want where human sometimes fun to experience this stuff in moderation right right but overdoing it simply gives dopamine or whatever that hit that were seeking or that pleasurable sense that we are searching for thirsty for that. We are sipping on more power than what's really going on. Within and that can only elevate things -iety versus elevate vibration and so the beauty of a quote unquote dopamine detox. As dopamine may birth the creature of habit that wants to just consume consume consume as if we eliminate most of those things perhaps even write them down. Right what you can get up a mean hits from and write them down and we just eliminate those and just be for a bit for a period of time this allows us to rest our selves. Or I guess our neurons are nervous system and I'm not saying reset that's not how dopamine works not that. I'm a scientist and totally understand how dopamine works but I do understand the nature of this and that the way for us to rewire neural pathways is to change our experience but dopamine has such control or perhaps it's something else that has such control us wanting to consume consume consume so we can fade fade fade. What's really going on away and not create paralyzing us from elevated states so this detox of what is distracting. You with the intention of tuning in. You don't have to do anything too much. You can simply just stare at. The Wall will naturally come. You don't have to put the pressure on yourself like meditate all day or I'm going to right right right till something come through and then your mind might just stop you from writing or your mind just might stop you from meditating and said simply just allow yourself to just be and when I say be. I mean literally no agenda. You're there wherever you're at and the mind is telling you this. Is that sound so lean so boring. There's no way in hell. I'm doing that none of the No. Well that trickster mind can float away because it is time for you to tune into your soul and elevated raise your vibration to shift into the vibration of magic especially during this time and as we are able to tune into ourselves and perhaps even download and receive new insights and inspiration that our minds are often blinded or even blocked by due to excess consuming of something else. We are able to just simply feel better. Feel that in your piece because we experienced the contrast over consumption Yada Yada and now we are simply feeling a greater state of peace. Because we're able to just be and love what is and that is the magic of it all and it's not since you are human is Mike. It's going to be like this twenty four seven but I must tell you your mind. Your soul yourself does deserve that from time to time. Especially if you are. They're hoping to eliminate and spending a ton of money on different courses on different teachers on different therapies. When simply perhaps you need to instead of seek seek seek consume consume consume. Perhaps you're still be for a bit. Perhaps there's been selling distractions with this current a virus and the news and Yada Yada when Mama Earth and we've been divinely guided to allow her to breathe the also given all souls the opportunity to just be within and just be just be all the other noise there will still be there. You can come back to all of it later but you deserve some time to just be. That is a huge message that I just feel awesome surrounded by these aspen trees and these blue spruce and the river and the water and the rain that we all need to hear including myself to just be and that will shift you into the magical vibration and so it's time for that small detox to rewire neuro pathways get out of our comfort zones and simply opened up a new and a knowing path that will lead to more magic and less restlessness anxiety perhaps fear might even be our guide to show was where magic is an were afraid to be quiet and that fear could be translated as our mind saying that stupid. That's to spiritual. It's to boo boo. That doesn't make any sense. That could be fear because it's obviously our ecosystems the negative so perhaps that might be our guide to saying. Hey it probably won't hurt you to just try for a little bit special during this time because I feel like not. A lot of people are really taking this time to be silent and taking more time to consume consume consume. Because they're so afraid of what's going on and then they hold onto what yesterday brought to the US there's more to the dopamine and our neurons and our nervous system than I have ever delved into but I understand the premise of it and I love the idea of dopamine detox and what could possibly do and I know that as I hadn't ever called a dopamine detox but I have taken many moments pockets in my life where I actually did consciously completely unplug for example when I lived in an Ashram and there was no Wifi and I was water fasting so I didn't have the dopamine hit that food gave me and then also when I went to India and union moments in Nepal and I've also had pockets a term life on my own in London and in Scotland when I went on the Shimon agree. Truly Yada Yada Yada unplugging and just being so present dot part could be a struggle. It's interesting the magic honestly unfolded afterwards that. I just don't think that if I kept allowing myself to be consuming so much noise I would have been able to experience and honestly be able to shift and elevated into this higher state of consciousness. Where when I do my down times or my humanism times I can also easily just shift and elevate back into his state of inner peace. Because I've been able to experience that and I just know how to get there in that simply the power of just being in allowing yourself to unplug and have that silent space and then all those worries everybody else's listening to honestly it kind of just float away. It's not and you can do the socially if you're not feeling called to completely socially isolate yourself. It's more so. The other outside distractions noise. I'm so thankful to I love to obviously quarantine myself or just be totally on my own. I have my airbnb one in my hometown and that is has been very nice even though it was beautiful to have the time with my family. But it's a way for me to just recenter reconnect and allow me to open up my channel. So I can deliver messages like this for myself and for you also I feel another beauty of this is it does challenge our beliefs. You also remember that. There really are no beliefs in higher conscious states. It's simply just knowing's and what I do know that we're all one and it's all love and so any of these negative thoughts thoughts that brings Zayed's it's just part of the human experience. It's not real. It's just all an illusion. Doesn't mean that you can't experience it because it may be serving you in some way shape or form for a period of time but it's so beautiful that you have the consciousness and the conscious ability to shift that and again we can simply just challenge these beliefs especially in a state of meditation or wherever we can slow our thoughts so we can begin to observe our thoughts and as we do this of course the ego is GonNa try to assert herself and will observe that but then allow the flow of divinity to Intern Mines. And feel that love and kindness. What's true and go beyond belief? Go beyond this dream of reality that our human minds are creating four a divine reason. Of course right I would rather continue to live even if it sometimes they experienced anxiety and Yada Yada with that awareness like okay. My human selfishness going through this the knowing that no matter what. There's always great piece that we can always come back to. I know it's hard if you're surrounded by family and you just feel like they're in your eme path and you're taken on their energies and their in the state of anxiety so you deserve. You truly deserve that time to just like plug from all and breathe and be shut the door in your room turn on a nice song. Nb Anyway I hope that this sparks something within you so so so much love for you another day another hike a neutral and I just wanted to leave off by saying thank you for tuning into the random solo that was inspired by a lot of the DM's that receives about just feeling a bit disoriented during this time and to let you know it's okay. You're human milkins wrong with you. Mrs Part of everybody's experience where all witnessing the contrast and then it's up to us to expand beyond any limitations. Oh Oh my gosh the most magical view right now. The mountains just me alone. Now be meditating right after this anyways. Meditations there will be new meditations this week and also journeyings. I'm excited to share on the euro magic dot life website website. That being said I hope you have a magical rest of your day and time to detox or at least find a time where you can just allow yourself to completely unplug. Perhaps not even read and distract your mind from any spiritual content even the greatest spiritual practice and knowledge that you can find seriously within this podcast. It's not an Eckhart totally book. It's truly just unplugging like pure unplugging and going within and so at this time that is honestly the best information I could ever offer is. Let's do a little dopamine or distraction detox and just be all right with all that being said have a magical magical rest of your day dear yummies thank you so much so much for lending your ear and taking time valuable time for your soul to listen to this episode. Today I am honored to provide this view and I hope something in this spoke to you shifted you in some way. I would love to personally connect with your soul on will. Of course I r. l. but also on the instagram's or the facebooks. My instagram which I am finally active on is at Raquel Mantra. That is spelled R. A. Q. U. E. L. E. Mantra up ahead in the show notes. And make sure to not only see respond to all the comments also send love back to you because why not and then for you to also connect with a powerful tribe of like minded individuals hibing individuals to to raise your vibrations. Feel free to join us in the euro magic secret facebook group that will also be left in the show notes and feel free to browse your magic dot life. I have some free guided meditations on there and more information about upcoming retreats and Events and of course my offering might service is the sole tribe exclusive site for you to receive many meditation and the most recent one was to help you. Reprogram your subconscious mind to see your highest potential in Hypnotic state for example like reprogramming your subconscious mind to see your eyes potential while you're in a hypnotic state along with others like activating your third eye or short simple ones easy to your morning or Levy insight and a lot of deep imaginings which I love to do personally is to just visualize expand my imagination so I can be more creative in midday in addition to that other soul expanding journeyings to ask yourself every morning and magic challenges and other spiritual rituals. Yada Yada Anyway. I love you all so much. Thank you so much for listening and have a magical day.

dopamine Earth Youtube instagram Airbnb anxiety Utah Tim Appeals CNN CBS facebook Depression Zaidi Mama Guy Richard Nature Tampa Government Inc
552 - Use the Double Dopamine Effect to Reduce Cravings

The Nutrition Diva's Quick and Dirty Tips for Eating Well and Feeling Fabulous

14:33 min | 11 months ago

552 - Use the Double Dopamine Effect to Reduce Cravings

"Hello and welcome to the nutrition diva podcast. I'm Monica Reindel. And today I'm talking with registered Dietitian Natalie Stevens a some really interesting new research that suggests how we can get more pleasure from the food that we eat and at the same time avoid overeating. Today's episode is supported by Holiday Inn club vacations the perfect spot for a family vacation or a group retreat. There are twenty-three Luxurious Various Holiday Inn club vacation resorts all across the United States. And they feature spacious villas with separate bedrooms fully equipped kitchens living rooms cried at Patios patios and balconies and select resorts offer premium signature collection villas with upgraded amenities. You'll find championship golf. Courses Sparkling pools this delicious restaurants and more for more information visit H. CV DOT vacations slash diva. That's H C. See the DOT vacations slash diva. Why are certain foods so easy to overeat some foods? We can enjoy a reasonable amount to feel satisfied but with other foods. It's like we're a bottomless pit. We just WANNA keep going. Even though we know overindulging will registered Dietitian nutritionist. Natalie Stevens joining me today to talk about some new research that she brought to my attention on how our brains and bodies respond to pleasurable certain foods and how we can avoid over eating without having to avoid foods that we enjoy. I'm so glad to have the podcast Natalie. Welcome thank you you for having me. This is an exciting thing to talk about. Who doesn't like talking about enjoying our food absolutely and this is a great time to have the conversation? We're the holiday season and there's so many opportunities to overindulge. It's really tempting to take one of two approaches. The first and probably the most common is to lit up which ends up being eating as much yummy food as you can and I mean why not. There are so many delicious foods. And you don't WanNa miss out but then there's the virtuous route that many of us also try where you limit yourself because you don't WanNa suffer the consequences you don't WanNa see the scale go up. You don't WanNa be uncomfortable and if you don't run out of willpower you're gonna be really proud of yourself. Ueno both of those strategies. have their drawbacks. If you if you decide to just abandon all restraint and lit up well you're probably going to have some damage to undo when it's all over but when we focus on limiting or restricting especially at a time like holidays it can create this sort of psychological Michael hunger that just builds up until we fall completely off the bandwagon. And then well we all know how that looks but what are we going to do here. Can we still win in what feels like sort of a lose lose scenario between being healthy and being happy the pleasure that we experience when we eat it's results results of dopamine and there's some research on how our bodies produce dopamine in response to eating and this is really optimistic you might assume assume the all the pleasure comes from taste because let's be honest that's what we get excited about. Our brains do produce dopamine when we taste food. Uh especially your sweet salty high fat foods but it isn't the only source of dopamine which means it isn't the only source of pleasure that we get from Eating there's a second dopamine release that's triggered when the food reaches our stomach and this one is more related to the nutritional value of food. Yeah that is so fascinating. I did think that the dopamine release was primarily just went. That food hits our taste buds so I was unaware of the second wave of dopamine and before we get into more details about the study. Let me just take a quick pause. Thank this week. Sponsors hellofresh is America's number one meal Kit delivering during easy seasonal recipes and premeasured ingredients right to your door. All you have to do is cook and enjoy. Each box includes everything you need to get an incredible incredible meal on the table and just about thirty minutes and there is something for everyone to family recipes calories smart options vegetarian and fun menu series series. It's super flexible. You can easily change your delivery day. Skip a week or add extra meals to your weekly order anytime. hellofresh puts a lot of variety into my diet. I make things that I otherwise wouldn't have thought to make like this Mediterranean couscous with chickpeas and Keeney and heirloom tomatoes was delicious. So break out of your dinner. rut With hellofresh as a nutrition diva listener. You can take advantage of an amazing offer this month. You get nine Neal's free just go to hellofresh DOT dot com slash diva nine and use that code diva nine that's D.. IV A and then the number nine no space there and you'll get nine free meals. That's hellofresh dot com slash d nine. We also receive support this week. From molecule molecule is re imagining the future of clean Air starting with the air. Purifier molecule destroys indoor air pollutants at a molecular level removing them from the air. That you breathe. The technology has been verified. Hi by science. But most importantly it's been tested by real. People Molecule has offered asthma and allergy sufferers around the country and all new experience. One customer even said that she was able to breathe through her nose for the first time in fifteen years and now molecule offers their breakthrough pico technology across a wide range of products. You can shoes the unit. That's best for your space. The molecule air is for big room. The molecule air mini for a smaller room or abundant for an air purification. Solution for your entire home for ten percent off your first order of an air purifier visit molecule dot com and enter diva ten at checkout. That's Komo L. E. K. U. L. E. DOT COM and. The CODE IS DIVA ten. So that research that Natalie shared with me was conducted at the Max Planck Institute and in this study subjects. Were given either a milkshake. Yummy or a nutritious but tasteless solution to drink and and then they used functional. MRI and pet scans to monitor the dopamine release in the brain and not surprisingly there was a big dopamine spike when the subjects. I tasted the milkshake and this dopamine was active in the reward centers of the brain. That's the part of the brain that tells you to eat more but then about about twenty minutes later. There was a second dopamine spike triggered by the stomach and this doubt dopamine was active in the higher cognitive areas of the brain. And that's what gives you that feeling of well-being satisfaction after a good meal when you're really just content to stop eating. Oh that's a good feeling to. Interestingly the bigger the first opening released was the smaller the second dopamine release was so the more immediate pleasure that you get from the taste is to food the less pleasure. You're going to experience after you eat so this begs the question. At the end of the day are we really getting more pleasure from satisfying langer cravings. Like we tell ourselves and I think the answer is no. Maybe this happy foods aren't making us as happy as we think. Yeah especially because eating unhealthy is associated with better mental health and less depression and improving. Your quality has been shown to improve depressive symptoms so maybe part of the trick is to pay more attention to how we feel after we eat definitely in overcoming my own addictive eating tendencies Practicing mindfulness I learn to Q.. In my stomach after eating that became my criteria for success. O.`Neil and I'm fascinated to see that there's biology behind why that works okay. Can you explain a little more about what you mean by. Chew into your stomach. What what sort of sensations are you paying attention to yeah it can be a bit tricky to recognize recognize the different signals? But the first one that I pay attention to is pressure this probably correlates with the literal fullness of your stomach. I think about eating a bag of potato chips how you can eat in eat. Never feel very full but then if you drink a big of water quickly you feel the pressure in your your stomach and then the other sensation I pay attention to is how heavy or light. I feel both during and after a meal and sometimes it only takes a few bites of something really rich for example for stomach to tell you you know. WHOA that's enough Heavy meals they they make you want to sit on the couch or take a nap right but then a light meal leaves energized ready to go do something. I aim for a moderate pressure with the light energetic feeling and also the whole time and eating I also focused on the flavors. I'm enjoying and I'm doing thoroughly so I don't swallow swallow big chunks of food okay focusing on the flavors that you're enjoying. That sounds a lot like mindful eating absolutely but many people use this term. Come to me being conscientious about health and I feel like that just ruins it. I'm eating it's not about worrying are analyzing which are eating. It's being aware of the experience. Nothing more nothing less and as you get into this experience of eating you're actually going to regain gained some of your skills. I you're going to learn to enjoy your food more while you're eating it and then second you're GonNa Begin to recognize is when you feel good and energized. What types of food? And how much help you feel that way. In other words mindful eating can help help us exploit the double dopamine effect. Yes exactly paying attention helps get plenty of pleasure tasting your food in moment while noticing when your stomach is saying maybe later I'm full and it might even say can I have another serving of vegetables uh-huh so as we said at the beginning foods that contain a lot of sugar and fat tend to trigger a really big initial dopamine release and that's why they're so compelling are mindless brain is just GonNa go for that quick hit that tastebuds dopamine but our mind full brain has the capacity to choose use that are gonNA deliver more pleasure from that second wave of dopamine that's triggered in the stomach yes now don't have the same intense cravings i. I feel so much better for hours after I eat. I eat for that double dopamine release. This is going to be our new motto or eating for the double dopamine right well consciously going for food that offer that double dopamine release can steer us towards healthier foods and also enhance our enjoyment of them. But come on Natalie. It's the holidays and there are a lot of extra temptations around so does this approach hopefully also make it easier to occasionally indulge in some of those special treats but without falling into that bottomless pit phenomenon where we just overindulge absolutely it does take a little bit of practice but this approach. It's helping US user. These are natural brake system when it comes to eating. That's really helpful this time of year and it gives you permission to put your down because you want got to feel good not because you should. It's a lot more motivating but my favorite discovery with my pleading is that my food literally tastes batter when I'm a little hungry. There's a reason why it's been said that hunger is the best seasoning. So you better believe I'm GonNa go grab a slice of Pumpkin. Hi and maybe some ice cream but I will wait until I'm a little hungry because then I'm GonNa enjoy the most absolutely you can learn to find pleasure as you sit and enjoy. The sounds smells decoration. Beautiful Food good conversation. I just get excited thinking about it so enjoy the a miracle of nature bringing you. This food appreciate your ability to taste. That's what mindfulness is all about. And then this holiday season Sif you can discover your ability to feel good after eat. See if you can discover that double dopamine effect and this will get you on the path to restriction free and nursing eating. Natalie I wanNA thank you so much for bringing this really interesting researched my attention and for sharing your approach to building healthy habits and balancing enjoyment enjoyment with health because we don't have to sacrifice either one or the other. I couldn't agree more things Monica if you'd like to learn more about embracing in your appetite as a way to get healthy and happy checkout Natalie's website it's at dieting differently dot com. She's got some great free resources to help you start building the skill. You'll find a transcript of my conversation with Natalie along with the link to the research that we reviewed at quick and dirty tips dot com. And if you want to chat chat with me or Natalie about today's show just post your comment or your question on my facebook page. It's at nutrition. Diva and listen. If you could use a little extra support but this year to stay on track during the holidays rock Armstrong of the get fit guy podcast and I put together a special holiday tip sheet with eight completely doable strategies. Ogies that can help you enjoy the holidays without abandoning your healthy habits. You can grab your free copy by going to weigh less dot life slash Mary three. That's way less dot life slash Mary M. E. R. R. Y.. For Your Free Holiday Guide. Our show is produced by. Nathan Sam's Edited Beg Karen Hertzberg Our team at Macmillan audio also includes Emily Miller Cape Hines Michelle Martin Lewis Morgan rattener and our director. Kathy Doyle this is Monica Ri- Nagel. Thanks for from listening this week. I'll be back next week with more. We can dirty tips for eating well and feeling fabulous. See you then.

dopamine Natalie Stevens United States Monica Reindel Dietitian nutritionist America Max Planck Institute Michael facebook Keeney Mary M. E. R. Neal Komo L. E. K. U. L. Macmillan audio Kathy Doyle US Monica Michelle Martin Lewis Morgan r Emily Miller Cape Hines
261. Dopamine Fasting

The Working Experience

53:08 min | 11 months ago

261. Dopamine Fasting

"Greetings dear dear listeners and welcome to another episode of the working experience a very warm open arm audio embrace and in a squeeze this episode is brought to you by my company. One Circle Media One circle. Media is a hybrid digital agency in media content creator later we create and design APPS websites videos social media content and physical products we are artists directors designers producers coders editors thinkers makers and creators who embrace story and creativity from design web and APP Development Animation Animation Docs features TV shows digital and social media content to physical products for our clients. We create content that builds builds networks in audiences across multiple platforms. CHECK OUT OUR WORK AT ONE CIRCLE DIGITAL DOT COM and one circle brand dot com if you work for a network network studio brands startup or corporation and are looking for a partner to create media that will build engage entertain. Reach out to me at John at at one circle media DOT COM. I'd love to hear from you. This episode is also brought to you by an APP that I created called still believe still believe transforms forms. A picture in your home into video. Proof of your child's fever magical characters with the APP. Parents can catch the magic of the tooth fairy leading money under their children's pillow pillow or Santa delivering presents on Christmas Eve in their home. You download the APP take a picture and we create the magic. We'll utilize feature film the Visual Effects Artists to transform your picture into video. Just tell your kids that you have a special APP that can detect and capture the tooth fairy then present them with the video proof in the morning the look on their faces priceless. You're still believe videos created in minutes and you can then save it to your phone and share it on social media. The APP is available for the IPHONE and Android and it's free to download. Our aim is to bring joy and wondered to the hearts of children around the world. Check it out at still believe dot. Co thanks. Everyone and I hope you enjoyed this episode of the working experience. Though working experience in ninety three north is almost at a standstill yet. So rough out there this morning. Snow in sleep. There is no service on unclear. The closing doors to be a few minutes man. Traffic should make make sure done reporting. Sat Presentation Charlotte Awesome team. Meeting at ten fifty. Five work makes the dream work moving and after the meeting. We'll have a breakout session. It was that everybody. Welcome to another episode of the Working Springs. PODCAST and John If anyone knows matty Kay I really do not like to deny myself. I don't like Discomfort I. I need Instant gratification so I tend to shove snacks into my mouth. Kind of willy. Nilly I watch a lot of TV TV sweets. You know drink a lot of coffee and I think it's an overindulgent life you're just embracing life with a big bear hug. Yeah I need that dopamine had I need to be checking my social media need the likes on my instagram page and facebook. And all all that I just I. I need a constant feed of of dopamine but then you know the problem is sometimes I feel like maybe I'm a little bit overload so there are some good folks Who Talk about what's called what? They call dopamine fasting. So if you want to tell us what that is John Well. I can't do everything. Just I'm just kind of like distraught. That actually actually have to discuss this. So yes so our friends in Silicon Valley who are always at the forefront one of telling us how to act what to do how to feel what disgusting white paste to drink to substitute for actual food. Yeah sought that was it solvent. Put a little salt on that luggage back. So the The good folks over there Are Concerned that the ironically the products that they've created right so that our facebook or instagram are stap the everyone's getting a little dopamine hit a little Ding Ding Ding. Every time you gotta like like Mattie was saying any basically lives Matt lives his life. toget- likes and to eat then to eat and watched and for Matt like a good good light counts uh-huh double digits so you can get ten likes and twelve likes. He's a he's a happy camper so so what they're doing is is there going on a digital detox which is similar to you? I mean all the rage right now is intermittent fasting. Where are you? Don't eat and all the health benefits and we could discuss that too but So these guys and girls are A skewing all screens Greens All social media and they're going old school they're going to books and not you know so. This is everything. This is This is net flicks facebook this instagram so that they can kind of quiet their mind kind of elegant a Buddhist monk kind of way. Well it's not just Social Media in screens. They would not be eating. They would not look at any streams they would not listen to music they would not exercise cise they would not touch other bodies for any reason especially not for select right not nozoe work no contact no talking more more than absolutely necessary. A photographer could take their picture. But it could be a flash a bunch of WACK jobs. These people are seriously I mean. There's too much time on their hands. They feel that they're addicted to that dopamine like why not. Here's here's the thing. Why not go one meditate? You want you meditate for ten fifteen minutes to get back on your holy horse in and create another APP or do What's the What what are those tanks those deprivation tanks the sensory deputy depres yeah? Why don't you jump in one of those for an hour? And let's call it a day fellas because these And I think it's mostly guys They must be fun company when they're doing all this stuff right. Well I mean it's like they act like this is new new. It's not new. People have fasted for centuries as a way of wood. What they're talking about is is essentially like what the Amish deal right and Buddhist monks Mr Fleischer was reading a book. How revolutionary in? What are you kidding me? Mr Sinka who has a mop of curly hair was wearing water. Shoes and a cable knits sweater as he he did late mornings stretching. Oh my God we have to turn to Silicon Valley for these earth shattering techniques like these discoveries this is human enhancement discoveries is that did you make that offers out. They said no I made that. Oh Yeah No. That's good. They would love that that that's how they see it that that is exactly how they see this. He uses fasting as a technique. Oh my God like well. They're basically discussing discussing my life. I mean they would not touch other bodies for any reason. That's when I yeah. You're very very strange. Like I thank you. I tried to invent a body condom at one time where you're not just through. Yeah you're like one of those Germaphobe. I mean this stuff is just so ridiculous no I contact. Oh my God like again. It's just the usual this doesn't last I. They're not going to be doing this I. It's the usual over low or overkill. You know just like no it. Yeah well this I love. This is a photo. A photograph had take their picture for the article but there would be no flap. Shut out to do with anything. What does that have any at? You know what I would do. It'd be like okay okay. No flash how TASERS ASSHOLE and I would as her. It'd be dopamine rush there for you. Mr Fleischer was looking through a textbook images images of chemical compounds and writing some of them down in his notebook. Wow this guy I mean he's like the Dalai Lama and Albert Einstein Stein rolled into one. Can't guarantee this guy doesn't have a girlfriend guarantee so as usual there seems to be some sort of products that's being hawked within this Oh their jobs. Jobs are to put their clients into various sleep. Gadgetry the dream sleep headset. The Aura sleep rang. Whatever the hell that is and why the things sleep Matt Owen Test Interventions these guys test sleep products? And of course they WANNA start up. So they're just so self-important well this I'd love to they would they'd wander slowly from room to room. They put on more and more sweaters because the food fast he makes them cold old. Are you guys. They went on walks though. These are tricky because they have to avoid needing to ask for anything like water or bathrooms. I contact because I know it excites me. This must be a joke. This is such no this assume. Listen to this was this is real fasting. She's quite frankly. I thought we'd have more to talk about on this topic but I really don't know what to say about any of this except it. It is again. Indicative of like an overreaction. Well first of all it's like Silicon Valley are the crack dealers. Don't smoke crack. Like they're pumping out all the technology and then talking about the evils of it and you should avoid it cacak while that's well. I mean they created it. They created it so it was so sticky and so addicting and then they looked at their creation like. ooh We've discussed this before. They don't want their children. Use It like Oh Jeez. This doesn't look so good so then they come out out with like you know solvent or this dopamine fasting bullshit us as a potential solution. I love this paragraph Graf. Right here any kind of fasting exists on a spectrum. Mr Senka said as he slowly moved through Sun. Salutations careful the to get his heart racing too much already worried. He was talking too much that morning. I mean yeah these guys must be I feel like punching both of them real I really feel like punching I know you don't like the term douchebag but that is these two there you go right and this is This is the thought I'd like to bust into their apartment and read their sweaters off actually stripped them naked and then bring bring in multiple screens with endless porn plane and a heavy metal ban just to get the old. You'll rush going. I'd like to them. Give them an upper decker jacker although trick like that. Oh yes. It took me a while lyle to piece that together but for our audience sue as uninitiated in the upper decker. That's where you go to the toilet of person that you don't particularly we care for and you remove the top of the tank and you defecate into the tank hence the term upper decker. We are not advocating waiting that anyone should do this. No up by any means again. It's just like I don't know I mean first of all your lives not that stressful you doing some startup to self sleep AIDS Lee. You know like you're not you're not a a research or trying to find a cure for cancer or leukemia. You not working at you know. What's that hospital? Saint Jude's Hospital caring for kids with cancer. which has got to be one of the most stressful jobs on the planet? You're not getting food to Rwanda. You know what I mean. That's it sake you guys you know. You're not in combat. No you're not. You're not running one hundred miles. Hey here's a here's a crazy idea. Put the phone own down. You know if you worried about your dopamine hits uninstall facebook instagram. Yeah I I've I've spoken mothers before but I have friends who check their instagram in the morning. UNINSTALL it delete the APP and then at night they they reinstall instagram. Check it and then delete it so that a lot of products a lot of trouble. Yeah but it but it. It serves the purpose of them not constantly checking the I mean to install. INSTAGRAM is super easy. I mean maybe for some. It's it's it's all it's all a fifteen seconds I know but it's sort of like it indicates the problem. You know what I mean. Anyway that's how they do it. That's that's great but these guys again to you have you know do you have. Let's let's let's talk about us right. Do you have a dopamine issue shoot like you get. Okay let's talk about Roy. You've you've run right. You like running. Yes so that's a natural. Hi that you get from exercise which I would say universally is seen as a positive like if you go out for a run on and you feel great. That's great kind of organic positive way to feel good. Yes right so it you enjoy that you. You wouldn't necessarily limit your running to not feel good. No I don't even understand understand that Stand what why would I mean. I was drinking way too much caffeine the last couple of weeks and I started like allies having trouble so I just had a ton of work and it was very stressful so then I took a day. I guess it was on Thursday I didn't didn't go to work and I I didn't have any coffee. I didn't have any diet soda. I didn't have anything and I. I felt better because I was like Jesus water. I keep doing this. You know so stuff like that. Yes if you're drinking four or five cups of coffee and it's starting to make you feel lousy. It's like okay well. You need to stop doing that. You know like one cup of Coffee Greg. Couple Shar These guys sound like drama Queens. You know I mean. They're they're way off way often the deep end I can see I mean it. It certainly is a lot better and I think of it more these terms like people. I see it in the kids. I teach I see it in the adult I work with. They are on their phones all the time. The default setting is to go onto your phone like if we have two minutes at the end I spend a lot of class time saying. Put your phone white. Put your phone away. Put It away. And they're like addicts the not like addicts they are addicts. They keep checking it and they're not even aware of it and then you're getting all this. Add anxiety depression like more and more kids are getting diagnosed with that. And I'm like do you need to be a brain surgeon to make a connection here. I mean yeah no IT'S I. I mean if if aliens came down to the planet in the observed us they would think that we're being controlled by this six inch device flat screen in our pockets. Denzel Washington has great talkie gives. It's only about six minutes as a youtube clip on it and showed it to you know classes and he just says like that are you using it or or is it using you like how much time do you spend on that thing. And he doesn't you know he's like technologies grapes. I've got great things going on for it and all that like well. There's a new time tracker now for the iphone right. It's time or something. A little tiny. Yeah and it shows you. It's like Matt. You spent six hours in seven minutes watching cat videos on average. Okay this thing just popped up on my phone these twitter notifications now. I don't know how to shut this off. I never turned it on and it's blue. You can turn that off all right New York Yankees Yankees just tweeted. Brian Cashman along with two hundred. Plus like I don't need to know any of this stuff I don't mean to know any of you. You can silence all that stuff. But the thing is you've got to turn it off. Notifications it mysteriously turned on. That is the kind of creepy fine. 'cause it's all it's always ping you mad. It's wants to give you that little that little drug. I know you would that dopamine rush. This never used to show up on my phone like text messages. Shaw fat attacks message passage and that was it now. This mysteriously twitter that these notifications turned on. I didn't turn on so anyway. I think default. I think it might ask you. You install but the fault is notifications on and then you gotta go and turn them off but all of these companies with facebook. INSTAGRAM twitter snap. They're all looking to gain and capture your attention right and people don't value view their time they can. You'll spend the waste hours on social media and then like you said Matt in the outcome. is they just feel worse about themselves. Because they see these these lists of curated lives of Oh sallies in in the Bahamas with a cocktail Hawk tail. Living The life and Joey's ski in the out you know. He's living the life. There's actually an instagram. Install Graham account that I just read about that is calling out people you know like we make fun of like the guy on the The G. Five jet. You know living. Yeah if you WanNa live like me you know by my course Blah Blah. There's a instagram handle handle. That's calling these people out and literally will give proof they'll be like hey when Tommy said he was on that private jet he rented. I did it for an hour. Never left the ground. It's awesome. I'll I'll send it to you. Well if I don't go on social media then how am I supposed. It's no what I'm supposed to do. I mean answer or someone who's hockey like this weight loss tea and never have you has used. The product works out eight hours a day. End is photo shopped and selling the t by the way I just bought two box. Okay just as a side note right right now I mean yeah. It's like you're looking at Sally in the Bahamas and you like I did she ford that. What are the Bahamas now? You're getting old credit card out your. Oh Yeah Book and the vacation all well. They're they're they're girls Women who are making a pretty good living just posting shots of them on Instagram and I'm fascinated needed by like us you'll see like all right. I don't know if you saw this. But in the world series there were two instagram models. who were sitting behind home plate? And they've flashed. Did you see. Did you read about this. Got Kicked all are so they've they've flashed The cameras or or the the pitcher and they were promoting I. I think it was some sort of magazine something I don't know I'm not sure what it was. And they get banned so I go on to I do do this. Fascinates me so do a little research and find one of the women and I go on her onto her instagram account and her previous instagram account was taken can down by instagram. So her previous was she had millions of followers so she creates a new one. And I can't remember this girl's name but and undeniable she's she's pretty right but You know obviously fake boobs rain and just all All her pictures on instagram are just her scantily clad. That's IT and she's trying to sell sell you to subscribe to her private snap channel. I guess there's a now a new way where you can become become like a member of someone's private feed and they will give you an exchange for five bucks a month. They'll provide provide scantily clad or or complete nude pictures to you. Actually you know we should do that. You and I should do a the working experience. It's actually it should be the reverse. You have to pay us. Put our clothes back then. When she was the she has she basically did nothing in life and this is this is her business is just you know selling her body to Whoever's by yeah that's really sad like going to the world series and doing something like that and getting band and like it's so oh pathetic you know like I don't know or maybe? She has a very fulfilling life and this is just a way for her to make money. I don't know but yeah I and she's one one of millions of people trying to do that. Just trying to you know. Correct trying to become a like a brand or an influence or I read an article or a stat that over eighty seven percent of People in the US between the ages of eighteen and thirty wannabe become instagram influencers and become their own brand eighty seven percent and I bet they only had a vague notion of what that means. Like you know. I'm just going to become a brand like okay. And what like what. What exactly does that entail like? Well there's a guy. Isn't there a guy on there who's like he has like twenty million followers. Beasts something or other you ever heard of the sky know. WHO's this guy? I don't know I just heard these kids mentioning Ed I don't know he has on on instagram. These on Instagram degrom and he has like twenty million followers. Look them up if I just put in twenty million followers instagram twenty. See now you got. You're going to get a bunch of people you gotta put like. If if as part of his name. The handle is beasts put beast in in any way as matt slowly searches for this great. I'm trying to type here but this has become like don't don't think about that. Eighty seven percent. It's like okay. Look at the competition. Will you rather be part of the thirteen percent. That's doing something different. I mean wouldn't you rather produce something that like is is something I mean. Wouldn't you rather wells. Think will the thing thing is. There's there's I'm not crapping on the existence of you know building a brand I mean you and I are building a brand in with the working experience right. This is a brand and were part of it but there is. There's a lot of work that goes into it and just you eaten waffles at the local diner is not engaging content while to some people it is actually seriously I mean some no. I know you're right. It is but I mean just it. It's also flash in the like how. How long is that going to last? It's not gonNA last. It allows a little bit. And then everybody's GonNa move onto something else. Which is fine? I mean if you WanNa just make a few you know maybe you may I dunno fifty grand off at sixty grand great but you you can if you can make that coin make it put it. It's nothing there's nothing there. It's just the whole endless stream of nothing and that's I guess that's kind of the depressing being part about it is like it's never like there's this good thing someone's produced like a film or television show or a book or a painting meeting or an art installation where people go admire the creativity of it and all that I mean there's always been schlocky entertainment. No that's what. TV was it started and a lot of it remains that some of it's really good but just like I don't know there's no talent or creativity behind ended. It's just all about. Yeah but but on on the flip side is technology has an abled everyone to become a content creator right so back in the day to get a TV show on or get your stuff seeing you needed to get through the gatekeepers now. There are are no gatekeepers but you know it's also harder to kind of stand out into build a following so the gates of calmed down but you have to create content that sill undeniable. Your talent is so undeniable it stands out or at least just interesting. You know if you're doing something interesting interesting you're not eating waffles or just taking your clothes off or like wow what a talent to I mean. I'm sure that women's good looking but there are millions of good looking women who are talented. Who can do things instead of just take their clothes off? It's like okay. Yeah but eventually that that beauty will fade. Hey y'all yeah yeah not not. I don't know this person. I don't WanNA judge but the physical beauty will fade. Maybe she's a beautiful person in that will never fade. We'll people people just lose interest. They just lose interest. Like you get older and I mean that's the way this whole technology thing is you know it's like it's there's nothing and as you know when you get old you have to kind of wrestle with that fact of the old losing interest and that's where depression creeps in and you know people just lose interest you use the phrase create content. And that's what I'm saying. Exactly you create content taking your clothes. closed-off is not content. I mean it's still sure it is sure it is. Wow it's got its contents. I mean like there's her in how many other hundreds of thousands of women doing the same things. I can't think of anything else to do to me. That's not really content. is like you wrote something. You came up with a concept on sapped concept of taking my clothes off like the set this. I understand what you're saying but the sad reality is is if you are an extremely. Let's just take it as a female cave. You're extremely good looking female and you post scantily clad pictures On instagram your engagement will go through the roof now. Let's just say this that. Let's just say this woman who flashed a the America of the world. The World Series is is an amazing poet and she starts posting poems her engagement even if they're fantastic fantastic enlightening the human journey through life. Her engagement numbers will sink two zero. Oh No I know I know but I mean I mean they're gonNA sink two zero anyway. There's going to be somebody new comes along. How long is that GonNa last her taking her clothes off? Plus there's hundreds of thousands of other women and men. I suppose supposed doing exactly the same things you know who's got content big time Tommy. He's got he's got content. Yeah he's got something wise lies to say he's always standing in front of an awesome car. I think last last time it was Okay it was a little hard to follow but it was something like try to do the voice. The people don't know you're the ones who like you and the people who don't like you are the ones who is the getting. His wisdom went a little over my head on that one. I have to read listen to it but plus when you had Vinnie Vinnie dice. Dancing in the background. No vinnie dice with with the background. Mix on now. Let me tell. Let let me taste readers you want something entertaining and lightning okay. Big Time Tommy. Videos himself driving driving smoking a cigar listening to the Dope Ass- club beats of the early nineteen nineties and dropping knowledge. All at once us. You know that you've made it in life. If you have a sidekick who's dropping a beat every time you drop was not not dice. He's always got belong black denim shorts on and the white tent top. He's always got that you so you knew the suit so it's funny is it's like that duo and big time. Tommy is so outrageous I would say the vast majority of the population because I live on Long Island. That doesn't faze me play. You live next door to that guy yet. There are there are tens of thousands thousands of individuals. Exactly like that. Oh Yeah Oh totally and we are where you live. I mean the pink Cadillac Black and the Gold Sunglasses and the club music. That doesn't even get a second look. I mean that's just not even a second glance. It's almost like if you're not doing that. You're kind of out of the main right EXA- exactly people look at you. And they're like what happened to the ground effects on your car. Did they go out with. Yeah it was it was there is short in the system. Is You gotta get. I know a guy no frankie who can fix that Tamara. Yeah are you listening to James Taylor. What happened your club? Mex- what I'm uh-huh I'm telling you I want this is still on. My list is to get ground. Affected this the Subaru outback. Definitely I just WanNa have the co because I also have a Subaru outback. I just WanNa pull into the shop and have the conversation with the guy. So what are you thinking per. I mean I'm a a forty six year old man driving a Subaru outback. And I'm like so. Do you think purple or pink. What what do you think for the fact because yeah well what I'd like to do is I'd like to get the effects to match the beat of base? That's coming out of the car and I believe you can also also the hubcaps involved in the rims. I'm sorry I said hubcaps. What a loser I am the rims son okay? I think you can get lights for that. That go with the ground effects that go with the beat that you made. It might be the first Subaru outback. They've ever it done in on. I I WANNA get the whole back of it filled with speakers to just get you. Can't it put any bags back. Hack that in the backs a fold down the you know the back seats. Fold down yet. All soldiers the thing is if I see if you did that where you live. They would. They wouldn't even bat an eye. That'd be like yeah okay. Here we go they quote you they give you a quote boom done five. They definitely would but I would say that it would be unusual. I would get like if it was a dark night. Right around effects the car coming up they would think nothing of it once. The car passed under the light. Light the street lights and they saw it was a gray not even like the top model Subaru outback like the regular Subaru outback. Back that that might cause what I have a bit of a question mark. Is You and your wife pulling up to a dinner party in that with that. The people are in the house and they hear this like monster is noise coming in that. Someone's looking out the window going it. It looks like a spaceship is landing. Drive back it up. Pop the backs of the speakers blaring so everybody gets a little taste. Everybody gets a little gets. Oh you want. Hey Hey Bob WanNa ride you want to check it out okay but genes can have have to get out. Because I have no room on the only two people know. Of course I loved in the Bronx when And I'm sure this happens other places but I remember this from the Bronx. You would see this absolute piece of Shit car. I mean it was like a ninety ninety nine Toyota Corolla dense and everything but it would have the the. I think it was like tinting. You put on yourself itself. It would always look terrible. And then there'd be a spoiler on the back of the car that was attached or what about like the like the the Nissan that's all decked out and then they throw your Mercedes logo and Mike Doc what is like a porsche like who is trying to fool. I don't know man. I tell ya places in the bronx are their own their own thing going on that I I mean I spent years. They're not only going to school teaching and I can't pretend I've ever. It cracked the code. It's just it's own thank you. What else is a national treasure? I agree the Bronx is a national treasure. Is The New York Post. Yeah the an article came out with Christie Brinkley's former husband. Do you remember this. The whole story with him he he. He got caught with the like twenty year old nanny or twenty four year old nanny. He's he's he at the time. It was like in his mid fifties so fast forward a couple of years he gets a divorce from Christie Brinkley. And now he's engaged to a twenty one year old girl someone who's thirty nine years his senior right. I'm sorry his junior he's sixty years old old and he said he's found his his soulmate right. So the article comes on. I laugh and then an article about four or five days later come out comes out and he lied about her age. She's actually twenty years old because his daughter under is older than the woman he's GonNa marry and the so he'd lied to everyone about her age so it didn't seem like he was marrying someone a year younger than his daughter which is which he is. Is The sky wealthy. I mean he gave her a six carat ring. He's an architect in the Hamptons. I I mean I don't know what he got from. He's been divorced three times. I'm sure he took a couple of hits on that Christie Brinkley. I don't know if he got a settlement from her because she was worth more money I yeah. I don't know if this guy's wealthy he's gotTa have something going on while he's got he's got something going on but I don't think he's like you know loaded loaded. Why else would a twenty a year old? Mary a sixty year old except she has serious father issues. I mean that's one thing. Well her parents are ten years younger than him and his in his ex wife came out and said that he has a can't remember the freeze that she used but it was basically like a a pathological addiction to underage women. Well she's not under age. I'm sorry wasn't underage of like twenty or twenty year worlds or something like that. I mean that's that's way I don't know what like I would have to talk to a twenty year old about and I'm forty six like I'm not sure what we would converse about about. I just I don't know like what would I sent the. I sent the article to Tony. A mutual friend of ours and he sent back. There's a there's a graph of against this league Dating site ran was match dot com or whatever and statistically the chart like what a woman is most attracted to like. It's basically one a twenty money for twenty year. Old Woman is attracted to someone around her age right and then it goes straight down so forty four year old woman is roughly attracted to a forty four forty five forty six year old man. It tends to be a little women tend to go a little bit older right but but not a lot not like one or two years and then they showed the the man's chart and it starts at twenty and it's like eighteen year old and then goes all the way down as the guy gets older. It still stays at twenty years so so all the way to like forty forty five fifty sixty still. The most attractive is a twenty year old woman. Well I mean yeah you see twenty year olds twenty one year olds who who are very very good looking. And they're very you know you'd say sexually attractive but honestly like I don't know what I be kind of embarrassed like let let's assume that this twenty one year old would be interested in dating me. I'd be well that's just it. That's what the charts saying. She would categorically not be interested interested in dating you unless you were loaded like rich beyond belief well and that's a good thing base relation was I mean like I would be imagine if I showed up like you guys. Were having a party. All I would love it. Tony's there with his his wife and kid and I show up with a twenty year old woman. A love it being. But don't you think the women there would think not think well of me if I did that absolutely well look at with Kiana. Reeves was just praised in media for dating some at the I think thank his girlfriend is forty six and he's fifty five. He was basically praised for doing that. But you know I tend to find older older women attractive like I find women in their forties very attractive for different reasons like they have life experience. I just kind of find that. Attractive that mature. Yeah well yeah because you. Because you're you're more mature and there there's a it's not just the outer beauty. It's also the inner beauty like. I've met like unbelievably evenly. Beautiful women and inside it. They're just there's nothing there. Yeah and I I just I can't why not say it's just like a twenty year old like like she has no life experience. I have nothing to talk to her about like. She doesn't know anything I mean. Even if she's been to Europe and all around she still doesn't know anything it's like it's just you know what I mean like should be that she'd be dragging Mattie to the clubs in it. Listen in a second you'd be wearing wearing the neon necklaces. That are going to the beat. You Be Poppin. Ecstasy suspected the second drinking the cheap to keep up yacking on the sidewalk it. Yeah I don't know I don't like a baby. There are some twenty year olds who are very very very mature that you'd have lots to talk to them about. And maybe there's a lot of forty five fifty year old people who are amazingly immature and you'd have nothing to talk to them about that's true but just by and large I've dated women who are eight years older over the me and they were you know perfectly happy with that. I thought it was quite I mean I. I don't I don't want to judge but like usually like within ten years ten years pretty good yeah. It's pretty good. I mean my parents are thirteen years. We'll see I would say though like the the difference between a thirty year old. A twenty year old is much greater than a forty year old and a thirty year old. You know what I mean. I would agree with that or like a fifty year old in in a forty year old. Like because you've had experiences you've had all that I mean to fifty year. Old People probably have been married. They probably had kids. They're divorced I they have those things in common to maybe not talk about but to give them a certain amount of perspective whereas a twenty year old has not experienced. Since any of that has an you know probably even had a job so I mean like what are you supposed to. I don't know I don't know and I I would imagine imagine. I don't like to be cynical. I would imagine that twenty year old is not going to stick with that guy for very long. I give her five years at best ask before. She's banging the trainer. Are they getting married. Oh yeah they're getting married. Okay so then he she is. She's looking for a piece of money to be cynical. She's looking for some money for a forty year difference older than her parents her. She's younger than his daughter. The survivor you remember the movie bill. and Ted's excellent adventure yes yes not Kiana reeves but the other guy. He his his father had married. This is the joke in the movie his father had married. Somebody graduated from high school with and he was caller. Tammy and she's like no. You need to call me mom or Mrs. That's right that's right. It was hilarious layer. And that's exactly what the scenario is like. All if if I was what's the guy's name I can't it's Peter something I would make my daughter Hall Hall her mom. Oh absolutely absolutely have to call or mother mother mother you have to go her mother and you have to obey what she says you know. It's amazing how people just had the most bizarre situations into them business as usual. Oh no problem not at all. I mean he's this guy is clinging onto so he's not aging gracefully. I mean he's clinging onto we'll youth. You know what I would say the Sky I would just put it. Very simply whatever's would says name was Paul Something Peter Peter Peter one day. You're going to die and I would just leave it at that just Peter one day. You're going to die. You're closer to your death than you are your birth and you're GonNa die I mean I. Here's here's the thing I I would agree with that. But here's the thing like I it's someone in a relationship with the other half of the relationship didn't want didn't like me wasn't attracted to me didn't want to be around me. Thought like having sex with me was disgusting discussing. How is that pleasurable? I duNNo. I guess she's a good actress. I made maybe she or he is so unbelievably practiced in delusion that he c- he sells. Yep He's he's he's. He's bought the story and again. I just want to say Peter. It doesn't merit matter if you marry a fifteen year old. You're going to die. That's what's going to happen to you do you understand. Yeah well we'll also to look at his track record when she gets to be like twenty five or twenty six game over for her to she might be too well. She might age out of this equation will oh yeah. He'll be interested in but you know it's amazing. He gets Christie Brinkley to marry him. Someone who should probably know better has other options. Doesn't need money. I don't know how that ever works. I mean he's he he was when he was married at Christie's. Chris is a good looking guy successful architect. I mean but that was twenty years ago now. He looks like he looks like an old rich sixty year old. Dude yeah which is fine which you could get yourself a very nice looking forty year old woman you know. I'm sure sure they'd be happy. That'd be falling all over themselves to marry a guy like that you know successful stable or dare I say a fifty or fear or we're maybe his or his sixty year old somebody to talk to have a mature conversation with Lake here his leg when you when you look at him okay for sixty years old. I mean he's like you know what may maybe having sex with her a sixty years old. ooh He's getting medical help. I would definitely I mean. Maybe he's mustering in that up maybe twice a week right and maybe that's lasting like ten minutes a pop and that's probably being generous rate out of the park. I don't know maybe me that doubts about that but let's all right. Let's round it up to half an out a week to fifteen minute session. Are you talking about having sex twice in one week for fifteen minutes of pop yes. I didn't know that was physically possible. I mean this guy is a stallion guy. He's a stud. Wow He's trading all that all that todd the what is their conversation at lunch light nothing. It's nothing it's just not. He's trading all that in that three seconds. She's looking at her phone own the whole time. She's on her phone all the time all the time. She's on her phone absolutely guarantee and posting. Nothing of him. No well you know. Oh she probably has to throw him a bone but like it's out in the yard it's vacation duck. Look this is over in two years. I'll do I'll do an over of two year. No I'll do an under two years. I'm saying how does that work. I'm saying the Lord of the over under the longest. This last is like I'll give it three years. That's the longest this last. No no question. Okay that's my over under could be like a year or less could be less. He might kick a year. Yeah maybe I mean there early marriages that this guy has been married four times. I mean you know to him. It's like trying on a a new hat. Yeah sorry it's it's Peter. Cook Peter Cook and he was married to Christie Brinkley. For twelve years from one thousand nine hundred sixty two thousand eight will. We should get out. He's with Park Twenty year old college student. Alba John Cool I think it is. Does he go to the dorm and hang out and he must. He must us Peter Hook. Peter Cook Yeah all right. Let's see so cre- cree cree and this is here this is the brilliance of of page. Six Up from the New York Times it starts out with creepy. Peter Cook has allegedly been lying about his new fiancee's Fayence. He's H sources. Say She's actually just twenty younger than his twenty one year old daughter sailor br the Brinkley Cook. Wait if this is the same as he thought leaders must be a different one because as you can actually contact a Peter Cook now. That's not that's not the one that one. Yeah Well Anyway Peter. I assume you're listening to this. podcast I would love to have you on to chat about. Oh Yeah Yeah. I'm sure he's going to take us up on that audience. How you hoist the main sail and the Boudoir? We're very interested in that And as always folks I we're we're so glad you're able to join us today and please like plus follow us. Look at our stuff on instagram on facebook. We have some pretty good content. got some good videos. Love more coming soon. Website by the t shirts on T. Sprang. They're pretty funny. Do all that for us. Yeah and if you're a you're sixty year old guy might want to stay away from the twenty year olds now. I go. nope I said. Go for a seagull. Go all in because the younger the woman you marry the longer you're going to live that's how it works. It's definitely are that works. That's Peter Cook. She's and she's GonNa love you are she's down. She's going to be with you until death do you part which she's hoping is about three years that you're took her gives out so she can collect some money and you want to make sure that she gets very good trainer. You know maybe someone was about six three and Jack. Yeah I can take care of what you can't take care absolutely all right folks. Thanks for listening. All right. Thanks everyone thank you everyone for listening to this episode of the work and experience. We'd like to thank our sponsors one circle media and still believe APP. The only APP that delivers there's video proof of the tooth fairy and Santa by simply taking a picture. Download the APP at still believe dot co today in a major kids heads and if you work for a studio network startup or corporation and are looking for a partner to create media that will build engage in entertain your audience audience reach out to me at John at one circle media DOT COM. I would love to hear from you. And that's it the end the sweet and until our next audio encounter.

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Kinda Cute  Ep. 25  Harry Styles Concert from Hell, Dopamine Fasting and Juliane Houghs Exorcism

Curiosity Wins

26:04 min | 9 months ago

Kinda Cute Ep. 25 Harry Styles Concert from Hell, Dopamine Fasting and Juliane Houghs Exorcism

"It's kind of cute right. Hello and welcome back to kind of cute if you're new hair welcome. My Name's Billy Evan. I'm your host and non Kinda Cute we discuss from the cut and my general pop culture. Musings y'all I don't have a lot of updates this week. I'm about to get into a little bit of storytime time but I. I wanted to talk about the extreme beauty bids on vogue and last night. I was binge-watching these. I don't think they have a ton yet may be like five there so interesting but one of them was on this person who goes by the name of Salvia. Please look them up. They prefer the day them Pronoun. So I apologize if I refer to for them to as a female but she's kind of female presenting They superglue tube so their head to look more alien so in these videos vote kind of goes along with them and one of their day to day quote unquote beauty routines so hers. She likes to glue like medical tubes to her head because she likes the alien look. It gives Them so what struck me about. This was that they used superglue to attach the tubes to their their head. Why I mean there's so many prosthetic glues and some that are actually made for that and they are super glowing it to their head and you would think if you are super gluing items to your face your skill would be wack as hell but no Salvia has the most alien like perfect asking by the end of this video? I was convinced that maybe Salvia wasn't alien. And like this is why she could superglue. Thanks to her vase she also has a girlfriend. Whose name is Parma? Ham Iconic name I do this thing when I go out sometimes times where I will airdrop photos to strangers phones like when I'm drunk at my level of comedy like I think that's the funniest thing that could ever existed so stupid. It's it's legitimately a stupid thing to do but the picture I'd always airdrop. Is this Ginger Stockman. Please Google Ginger sock events. You can see what I'm talking about but now I think I might airdrop pictures of Salvia. You have to look at her instagram. She refers to her dog even in the vogue video. As is bitch slut but after looking at her and I think Bitch slut is not actually a dog her alter ego. I'm so confused. She seems so cool and artistic and expressive. But I need to know about Bitch slut and I just need you guys to look at this and share in my disbelief over this performance art I know of. I always have excuses of why I'm late and behind my schedule. I usually like to always post on. Ideally I'd like to post Wednesday night but more often than not it's Thursday or Friday and I know that's the number one thing about podcast if you're GonNa have a successful podcast you have to be consistent with win you post but honestly sometimes my schedule just doesn't it doesn't allow it. Sometimes I get to Wednesday and I feel like there's not oughta good enough cut articles for me to discuss on here. I mean they're good but they're not what I'm looking for. You know so. I think this week though. Mike's uses are pretty good and now it's time for the story time as promised so on Thursday night there was a free Liz. Oh concert happening down in Miami and AF case to your aren't aware the super bowl is happening in Miami this year. So it's Sunday where I'm recording lists. The how the Super Bowl's happening there tonight. So in the week leading up to the Super Super Bowl there was tons of events going on free events just a lot happening so there's a free concert that was putting being put on by serious and Pandora Radio so so of course. I Love Lizardo. Who doesn't and I was like okay? We're GONNA go. It's Kinda risky. Who knows a full gear end? It was kind of a last minute decision whether or not we were actually gonna go because it's one of those things things where they let tons of people. RSVP and then you might end up getting turned away because there's not enough room so we go down after work work on the train we get there. There's a huge US line. We wait for hours and hours and we thought it was going to start at eight thirty. I don't Lizard and and go on until ten fifteen. So now we're sweating it because our trained back and the last train of the night is leaving at eleven eleven forty. I think something like that eleven fifty. So I'm the whole concert. I'm like so paranoid. I think Harry styles is going to come on and sing juice this with Lonzo and I'm afraid it's going to be the last song and I'm afraid by that time we're GONNA have to leave to train and maybe I manifested it by doing that right. But that's exactly what happened and we missed Harry styles and Lezo doing an iconic performance of juice other than that. The concert was fantastic. Eliza was such Gotcha good performer. And she really connects with the audience. And I can't say enough good things about her performance and it was Super Fun and they were giving out free digiorno pizza In cheeto popcorn and we did not get any of the hut shooter popcorn and my little devastated about that. But say lobby so while we're at this concert art we decide that because the next night Harry styles is performing a concert again for the Super Bowl. Originally the cost of the tickets was is to fifty and I will spend anything on that boy I have no boundaries but I was like. I really shouldn't do that. Adam really kind of struggling with the credit card right now but then the tickets got reduced. Our parents were drunk in Charleston and my sister had just gotten a job so they like as a gift to her. Since the tickets are reduced we will buy you guys tickets for tomorrow. It was like the angels were smiling down around the Harry styles. Gods like how kind of my parents big shout outs them. Like so nice so we were so excited we were like okay. Okay Well Shit. We have to come back to Miami tomorrow night so we re Renton repeat. Basically we come back to Miami. We take the train luckily because of the super bowl they were running elite train. That wasn't gonNA leave until one thirty five. AM This thing. Though was any structure on an island in Miami. And I think if if it's Watson Island and that's just like pretty normal for Florida. We have a lot of bridges connecting our islands little barrier islands. That are right off and you just basically need to take a bridge for them. You don't notice that you're on an island but we before we left. I was telling you know. I'm a little skeptical of these temporary structures like they kind of throw up for these big events. And just because of the law I do. I've been exposed to cases where those temporary structures become an issue so again. I'm not a super paranoid person. Listen and I don't know why my manifesting was not on point this week clear. Li I would think mercury in retrograde if I didn't know better so oh I know but I feel like it's because I was putting my sister just was saying that my manifesting was on point but not in our favor but that's the problem you got to always be manifesting interesting positive things like I don't know why was such a paranoid mindset but I just was so we get there and even as we're walking into the venue I'm like this. Just don't the Senate this doesn't look right. It was very cool like they did a really good shot. It was like lit cool. They had this sort of like interactive like photo booth type thing things. The drinks were ridiculous. They were twenty dollars each at tiny little S- Akilah but okay so and they weren't even giving out free Pepsi Zero Sugar. which is what this whole event was sponsoring? They were sponsoring this performance. And I don't know if I said earlier but this was Harry styles. Liz Oh was opening and Mark Ronson. So we're like Oh my God we're going to go see Liz again. Because we didn't know like we said we bought these tickets the night before. I'm sorry my storytelling right. Now is all over the place. It's morning I'm drinking my coffee. So we got a little nasal voice today but bear with me so we go up and we somehow get like right against the bear. We have like great great seats as we befriend this girl who's in the VIP section behind us. She gets us a free drink like we're living. We're having a great time jamming out to mark Ronson where loving our our second night of Lonzo and a row and then we're waiting waiting waiting and it's midnight at this point guys okay. Midnight again. Remember our train bags acas at one thirty five and Harry styles has not taken the stage at and then all of the sudden the lights come on something flashes on screen and it says you must evacuate accurate. I'm paraphrasing here. It's like you need to get the hell out of here right now. The show is canceled but they don't really come on and say anything. It's literally turns into mass pandemonium. They're unbeknownst to us is now like a monsoon level rainstorm outside. It is pouring. And if you haven't been in Florida when we all all the sudden get sort of flash flood rains it's not something you want to be outside for and remember. I said we are on an island so we basically begged the people at the food really has some food since you guys are shutting down at this point when we're asking for food icy water flooding in over the wires of the venue and I'm like like Oh my God I'm again looking above me. Like what the Hell is going to fall on me on this shoddy structure and so we wait a little bit. We eat the food that they actually really graciously gave us for for free. They gave us a little like Hamas pack and a piece of bread and we like please can we have small so then we. We're like shit like we need to like walk to where the rideshare pickup was because it was probably a bow. It's a thousand feet away from where the actual venue us. We had to walk outside side in the monsoon. So I'm having trouble getting a uber to connect to us. That isn't like thirty minutes away and I'm like okay. Let's walk to the structure. Then call one. I'll oh spare you all the details but this becomes a disaster. We have probably six UBER's cancel on us. The the flooding is so bad. I'm like we have to get off the island Kinsey let's Walkover MacArthur causeway which is a huge causeway in Miami. Because I'm like we have to get to the mainland to be able to think. Get an Uber. So we walk and it's probably like a mile and a half or at least it feels like a mile and half because I kid you not. We are trudging through calf me. High highlevel water rushing because there was no way for the water speed drained it is monsoon. We are soaked they oh so. Graciously gave us a black act plastic bag. That didn't do shit as they kicked us out of the venue into the monsoon. So thank you Pepsi really appreciate it. And I'm like devastate. Our parents like bought money for this. We're GONNA miss our train back and we're going to have to get a hundred dollar. Plus Uber home because everything was surging. It was the Super Bowl. There's so many people in town town finally we make it to the mainland. We finally finally get an uber to pick us up we are. We are on the verge of tears. We are freezing soaking wet little rats and this poor guy takes us home soaking wet and his car. I'm his car looked out just soaked and he had had to drive an hour back to west palm over an hour. It's a little bit over an hour with traffic and it was like one hundred dollars Uber ride so Pepsi saying they're going to reimburse for rideshare and that like never happens that goes to show. How fucked up this situation was? They know they're getting a big fat lawsuit and they're trying to cover their ass and they refunded the tickets but the moral of the story. I missed Harry styles two nights in a row so please Harry styles. God's can can. I'd like to meet him. Hang out with him at Soho House. This year cannot be my payment for this because I also share at I was in a pink boiler sue I looked like Julie Puff and it was at this time I was just like Kenzi like we have been thought. He's like should we have been like one of those girls. The porn star girls like with the tits out like gets in the vans with the rich people able and like they wouldn't be dealing with this and then I won't say what we said it involves you know having to suck a little too much you know and we decided it wouldn't be worth Pittsburgh. Thought he is and I'm not hot or cool enough to be thought he but shout out to those girls. I'm very jealous of your lifestyle anyways the next night so we get home. It's like three thirty A.. And and we are supposed to be getting on a train to Miami for the third night in a row the next day Saturday to go to the NFL honors award show as seat fillers. And if you you guys know me you know I do not pass up an opportunity like that. I knew Paul Rudd was going to be there. Jon Hamm I was like Oh my God what I can I can I be from Paul. Read like I had very magical thinking when it comes to these things and to show my love exhaustion and how much that night before effect is we could not make it to the NFL honors the next day and I just laid in my bed kind of in a state of shock dismay sadness and and that's why we're behind on the podcast guys are right now. Let's get into some stuff since I know you guys don't hear anymore about Harry styles but again go see lizard as you can. And she's great all right so goop lab came out last week and one of the episodes in it that I thought was most interesting. Were was the energy healing episode. which it's this guy? He's a chiropractic Doctor Energy Energy Work Doc Dr Quote Unquote and he would have people lay on their back. RUN HIS HANDS over their body and their body would like can tort in this Berry Exorcism like way and I'm going to get back to that in a second so just hold that in your mind. We're going to talk a little bit more about that. Juliet Juliet Huff. Getting exercise in a second. But another Goo- blob episode was about the use of psychedelics. And I actually talked talked about this on my podcast. And what am I early episodes. I was reading a book from Dr Talking about using cycle delegates in the medical field as a healing therapeutic. Drug Doc to help people work through trauma to help them process all of that. I thought it was so interesting. And it really made me WanNa try shrooms. I still do like honestly like I'll I'll go on the Google they go to Jamaica where it's not regulated. Did it. There and I was like yes. Siamese up even though it looked kind of terrifying a lot of people really definitely athlete having traumatic events. Like work through and I don't know if I was down with that and then on top of that a few days later Kinsey and I decided we were GonNa Watch mid mid Somare as it was on Amazon prime and let me tell you guys. Do Not Watch that movie before you are about to go to bed. That shit will mess you up up and one of the recurring themes in the movie. Is that the characters. Use psychedelics Willingly at first and then they're kind of be. This isn't really a spoiler but then they're kind of being given these ts in these psychedelics. From the people who live in the Swedish town without knowing exactly what's in it and it Kinda shows how the psychedelics then kind of work against them and I don't know guys kind of it kind of made me rethink things and totally get on another tangent here. I saw that the kite earlier back last year. They had read an article about how they were excited to read the Mid Somare Marwick because they were too scared actually watch the movie and I just thought this was so funny because this is something Elena always does. She'll be like. Oh Yeah. I don't watch H. S. but like I'll read the quickey of each episode so I was like. Wow this is like a thing people do. And actually afterwards I read the wikki for hereditary which is other film mm-hmm like kind of horror thriller film and I was like. Oh Yeah I am not seeing that movie like it. Sounds like it's more terrifying than mid. Some are all right so now we're going to get back to Julian huff and her exer- schism healing. This article says it's called well looks like a wellness. XS took place at Davos by Madeleine Aguilar every year billionaires and humble millionaires from around the world gather in Davos Switzerland to discuss pressing global issues at the World Economic Forum this year Teen Climate Activists Credit Thornburgh took the stage to discuss the urgent need for climate action. Donald Trump compared elon. Musk to Thomas Edison and according to this video posted on Instagram by the Bitch Piebald podcast host. Jackie Schimmel dancing with the Star Star. Julian Hav had negative energy pulled out of her. But I I've I thought Jackie gotten this video from somewhere else. Was Jackie Schimmel. Actually at this convention in Switzerland like props I love her. She's one of my. Oh Gee podcasts. I've listened to forever. She's great so to explain the video of what you're seeing. It's what I was talking about earlier earlier. It's Julian huff laying faced on a table. The doctors running his hands along her and her whole body is contorted up. She's kind of gut early moaning. I mean it looks like something out of a horror film so this article ends with. Do you think other Davis Two thousand twenty eight ten bs like uncle. Merckel Paul Commerce Secretary Wilbur. Ross and Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin also had negative energy is put up there but between sessions if you have video of them doing so please email it to me as soon soon as possible so all that just made me laugh you should definitely watch the movie and Maybe Watch that episode of the Goop Lob. Because it's definitely get some food for thought You know I think the episode all the episodes like they at the beginning they have a thing that says we're not doctors. Don't take this as actual doctor advice. But I definitely do think they. They don't really give much of a skeptics view of it so it's kind of one sided side. Let's look into it do some research afterwards. I was like China Energy Hill. Kinsey I was like Kinsey. Get on your back. I'm running my hands over. I'm like can you feel where my hands are. She's like no but it was worth a try. Oh guys I lied I do have I do have some updates so I bit the bullet and I bought scammer by Caroline Calloway. Obviously I bought it so I can discuss it on here. I'm not sure when the books will actually be printed. I saw that Bradley. Only from Bonaparte wife also bought a copy of the book and Caroline reposted posted it and I'm not trying to work on a petite in here every episode guys but they are just so relevant. What can I say so not that I wouldn't have supported Carolina? Probably you bought this book anyways. But I'm hoping that I can use it as a tax write off. You know supporting my podcast business. The grammy's happened last weekend. And I super proud of myself because I saw a lot of del Rey and she says she's gorgeous she's always gorgeous and all the power to her but I looked at her address and I was was like that. Looks like a mother of the bride. Restroom Dillard's and sure enough guys. That gown was eight and maddix still available at Dillard's and Mr Popo stakes was with her. At the grammys so she's really erasing that suburbia lifestyle. We talked to go. We talked about a longtime ago. Our guys get ready for Ron. We're going in right now. This article is called. Mommy can't talk right now. She's dopamine fasting. I tried the silicone valley trend and came up with a better idea by Rebecca Harrington in Silicon Valley. There's a newest craze called dopamine fasting. Here's the concept for people. In this part of Northern California modern life activates too much dopamine neurotransmitter connected to the pleasure and reward center of your brain. It's too much fun to be on your phone and work in a co working space of people who are making a tick talk competitor just for dogs. So Rebecca in this article talks about her her day of eating not texting not laughing at her two year olds jokes and it sounds miserable and I had to do more of a deep dive to see if this is really what dopamine fasting thing is actually about which led me to this New York Times article how to feel nothing now in order to feel more later day of dopamine fasting and San Francisco by Nelly bowls she writes everything was going really well for the minutes at C.. Street women wanted to talk to them. Investors wanted to invest their new site got traffic phones were buzzing their magic. The gathering cards were appreciating. This all was exactly the problem. They tried to tamp the pleasure. They would not eat for days. They would askew askew screens it was not enough. Life was still so good and pleasurable and so they came to the root of it dopamine neurotransmitter that has evolved in how we feel pleasure the three three of them all in their mid twenty s and founders of sleep well asleep analysts startup needed to go on a dopamine fast. So at this point in the article I am so confused I was like is is this satire. Is this real assistant joke. The onion esque article on the New York Times because this is feeling more gooby than goop itself goes on to say. We're at exit to dopamine says James Singer who of the three fellows is the most exuberant about their new practice. And because we're getting so much all the time we ended up just wanting more and more so activities that you see pleasurable now aren't frequent stimulation of dopamine gets the brains baseline higher. And I'm coming back in here and inserting myself to say isn't a higher baseline assign dopamine level. A good thing I. That's just me I guess so. It says the name Dopamine Thaci's a bit of a misnomer. It's more of a simulation fast fast. But the name works well enough. Dr Cipa said dopamine is just a mechanism that explains how addictions can become reinforced and makes for a catchy title. He wrote an email the titles not to be taken literally so at this point. I'm thinking OK few. I'm feeling a little better about this whole thing but no false alarm. It gets worse worse so it says this is happening. They would not be eating. They would not look at screens. They would not listen to music. They would not exercise. They would not touch other bodies for any reason especially not for sex. No Work No. I contact no talking more than absolutely necessary of photographer could take their picture but there could be no flash the number of things to not do as potentially endless. I should add at this point that the people who founded this are in there like they said mid twenties and nerdy white men by the looks of it. The ones who are publishing it. I mean what do you expect. We're in silicone valley all so throughout the day of their dopamine fast. They wandered slowly from room to room. They read they put on more and more sweaters. The food fasting makes them cold. They went on walks doc so these are tricky because they have to avoid meaning to ask for anything like water or bathrooms. I avoid eye contact because I know it excites me. I avoid busy streets. Because they're jarring Mr Three Cinco said I have to fight the waves delicious foods. You know kids. He says this sounds like the epitome of first problems. Yes hello it's silicone valley. That's all these problems. These people have so. I have some advice for these dudes. So what what are these guys was doing. Sun Salutations which supposedly which practicing this makes sense because to me. Yoga gets my dopamine going but one one of the things I feel like I learned as a yoga practitioner is that you can only control your action to outside stimuli not not outside stimuli itself. So why don't these dudes the focus on having better reactions knocking so fucking excited when somebody accidentally makes eye contact with them and I don't mean to spend so much time on this article it but this was the kicker this this is how article ends and it just really got me. It says the other day Mr single ran into an old friend but Hodzic tell her they could not continue. Can you speaking. I hadn't seen her in six months and it was extraordinarily exciting super stimulated and I could feel how excited I was. He said so. I had to cut it off and I just just said listen. It's not you. It's me doing this dopamine fast like this is why girls can't wear so getty straps at school. I cannot like kid troll it yourself homey and also if you want some dopamine fasting try being a lawyer then you'll get an instant immense esque salsa right out of your soul about a bing baboo okay striving depression. Yeah that's a dopamine sucker to let me tell you guys. I was good to talk about grimes but I just could not. I could not talk about anything. tangentially related Elon. Musk after that silicone valley article. So we're just going to get right into our legit shit of the day and that is bought coffee. You know I talk about Elena on this podcast all the time and her brother Danny who I also love. I love the whole falloon family. He just yesterday officially launched his coffee company called BOTs coffee. The website is not easy dash coffee. I think you know how to spell that DOT COM and he is selling right now beanies sweatshirts delicious coffee two types types will change over time because he is roasting the as. He is so passionate about this. He knows more about coffee that anyone I've ever Matt Matt. He's super transparent just by reading his site. You'RE GONNA learn so much if you guys could go on and buy a beanie like you will look like the hipster of your dreams. They are so so cute. I got a hot pink one with the black writing. I also got a Hoodie. I also ordered some coffee guys support like please. I just think this company C._B._S.. So cool you're supporting a great guy a great family and yet just do at bots coffee dot com. Tell me how you like it get a beanie look cute. You'll look more than Kinda cute. All right I'll see you guys next week bye.

dopamine Miami Harry Liz Oh Google Pepsi Mark Ronson Florida New York Times Julian huff Musk elon Kinsey Elena Ginger Stockman Billy Evan nasal voice Caroline Calloway
Gut Microbes And Depression

A Moment of Science

01:59 min | 1 year ago

Gut Microbes And Depression

"You know what biomedical researchers know that the brain and the gut communicate by neural but understanding whether and how microbes in the Gut could influence the brain is hard studies in animals might not accurately reflect human traits oh and immune system links some have become interested in whether the trillions of microbes that grow in our gut might influence our mental health yes don Belgian researchers obtained new evidence correlating gut bacteria with depression in humans the researchers studied more than a thousand human subjects. They used a questionnaire survey or a physician's diagnosis to determine whether or not the subjects were depressed they use DNA sequencing to determine what species ends mirror dopamine and while there's evidence linking dopamine depression other neurotransmitters like Serotonin are also involved spoke publicity about gut bacteria and mental health. It seems there's lots of work to do before scientists actually understand the lake this moment of science comes from the patients depression and the absence of two bacteria species which means they don't know where they're being depressed caused the lack of the bacteria species or the lack of the Anna University here on the world but a moment of Silence Dot Org I'm Don Glass I Nya Cassandra the bacterial species causes depression

dopamine Don Glass Anna University
Modafinil: Is This Wildly Popular Smart Drug Safe And Effective? (& What It Can Do For Your Sleep Cycles & Brain Health).

Ben Greenfield Fitness

1:11:41 hr | 2 months ago

Modafinil: Is This Wildly Popular Smart Drug Safe And Effective? (& What It Can Do For Your Sleep Cycles & Brain Health).

"On this episode of the Ben Greenfield Fitness podcast. That means that every time you did a puff of dopamine, it's going to stay there a little bit longer because you've got modafferi blocking that re uptake into the that produced and released the dopamine take. Your brain says, Hey, everything's great. Your muscles getting a signal from cortisol that says, and this is fighter flight time. This is not time to store glucose. It's time to burn glucose. If you're going to try to use MODAFFERI for cognitive enhancement specifically with the goal of restricting your sleep, you will pay a physiological price for that. Help. Performance nutrition longevity. Ancestral living biohacking and much more. My name is Ben Greenfield welcome to the show. Boom Chuck Laka Laka I am not on any mind altering substances while I am recording today's podcast introduction for you although this entire podcast is about one of the world's most popular. Mind altering substances namely, modell mode ethanol, the wonder drug, the limitless drug, the drug that I believe inspired the movie limitless or Lucy or one of those smart drug movies. anyways we're in talk all things Modafferi nil today, and if you've never heard of this wakefulness promoting smart drug that's sweeping the world by storm or at least Silicon Valley. You're GONNA, take a listen. I thought this was really interesting and I learned a lot from my guest. Now, of course, there is a neutral pick that a lot of people don't realize is a neutral pick. But it's very interesting and that would be created teen. Now, you've probably heard that critique is good for improving athletic performance and muscle gains, but it also plays a pretty important role in cognitive function especially for plant based eaters who don't get a lot of creating from their diet since creating largely comes from meet, we synthesize maybe a of it on our own every all the rest needs to come from meat. They actually found that on a young adult plant based eater. Six weeks of creatine supplementation had a significant positive effect on working memory and on intelligence I use it every single morning in my smoothie I use the purest creating gets called Creep Heure, and five grams of day year round, and it's amazing for cognitive function. Of course, it sells a workout bucer. So you Kinda kill two birds with one stone with one of the most heavily researched and safe supplements that's out there, and we have sourced the world's purest form of creating that you can get your hands on. It is also completely plant based as well, which is great. You can get it at get kion dot com. It's a kion creating get kion dot. Com Get K. I. O. N. Dot Com you save twenty percent off of your first order. If you use CODE BE G F two zero this podcast is also brought to you by one of my favorite companies they take bees and they harvest all of the goodness out. Of Bees, they take great care of the little BS. They're actually devoted to be health, but there are also on a mission to bring some of the best stuff from bees, the propolis, the Royal Jelly, the organic honey, all of the power that we find in the HIVE, these folks package and bring to you in things like Handy Dandy nutro picks immune system formulas. Pollen that you can sprinkle on Granola or smoothies, avocado toast or salads or anything else I love their bee pollen it's crunchy flavor full low calorie and it's chock full of nutrients. So the company I'm talking about is beekeepers naturals. They're going to get fifteen percent of any of their products to any of my listeners which means you. So you gotTA beekeepers natural dot com slash Ben that's B. e. k. e. e. p. e. R. S. naturals NATO U. R. A. L. ASS DOT COM Slash Ben Beekeepers naturals, dot com slash Ben and that gets you fifteen percent off of any of the fine fine beekeepers products. Let's go talk all things. Well folks this is it I've gotten a ton of questions from you about this smart drug that seems to be increasing in popularity for better or worse. It's called Moda Thunell also known as pro vigil along with several other variants of it that are sold as as a as online pharmacy variants and different isomers of it but but MODAFFERI or or pro vigil is probably the most popular version of it is the darling of the Smart Doug Industry has been for for quite some time. There is about two hundred human clinical studies that I've actually been able to come across on pubmed for the past ten years most of them generally reporting few side effects and you know not not a host of addictiveness or excessive stimulation although that's something that we're all will explore on today's episode it's used by a ton of notable figures the the. Myth or truth I'm not quite sure is that nearly every president and vice president now is using this drug folks like Joe Rogan. anti-aging people like Ray Kurzweil Barack Obama definitely reported that he used it so. Hillary Clinton. Tim Ferriss is one of those notable bio hackers that has reported using in the past. It's the entire inspiration behind the smart drug movie limitless and also Lucy It is reported to increase resistance to fatigue to improve mood reaction time vigilance they've tested it in military an air force pilots for enhancing alertness and reducing battle fatigue lab studies have looked into it almost kind of similar to two key tones, for example, for its antioxidant and neuro protective effects. The. Cute Ingestion of it for you exercise junkies out there it may increase exercise time to exhaustion and the list goes on and on. So what could go wrong is this stuff too good to be true and I decided I wanted to just jump in and record an actual podcast for you on. MODAFFERI. So I reached out to. Because this is so intimately tied to sleep. I mean it's an off label anti-narcotic drug. Really's is how it originated. I reached out to one of these sleep researchers who are really respect guy who's been on the podcast before Dan Party and I said the Dan that was very interested in interviewing. So Mamo Daffodil, who'd he recommended? He said there's this guy Dr Jonathan Wiser. And it turns out that Jonathan Lives? About. Fifteen minutes from my house. So I am at my house on Saturday morning here and Jonathan drove up based on my invite to record a podcast. I. Just met him and I'm just getting to know him but we do share a common passion for cold water swimming who? And all things cold for me I love cross country skiing and I love cold water swimming is now for you is that because of the love for exercising in that environment or you one of those bio hackers WHO's trying to increase Brown fat conversion and take advantage of all these other elements that you get with cold thermo genesis that's I mean it's really about exercise and you know there is definitely an exhilaration when you on bracing experience and you feel the cold so. I was showing you my my Kolata my go out there my office and I been turning to that more increasingly than coffee when I'm when I'm a little bit sluggish during the day or that after. Tiredness sets in sometimes implement body, and I'll just. Get Lazy. Just take off my shirt, immerse my entire torso in there and just do a few do dunks towel off go back in and keep jamming away on work can. Cold is of course, amazing alertness but that's that's not the drug that we're going to talk about today So so you have a you have a PhD in Neuro Science from from University of California in Los Angeles I. Know You've done some research Stanford University, and now you are a you're on the faculty Washington State University and then Y'all can yeah and you also work with the education program What is it whammy Washington that? Well, that's a prior iteration with the College of Medicine in Washington State University in. All right. So so are you spending the lion's share of your time than? Lecturing or researching. It's about two-thirds research one-third teaching. Okay. His Point Gotcha. Gotcha. And what type of courses are you? Are you teaching teach the basic cell biology of the nervous system of muscles of the Immune System Cell. Biology. On the first year of the Medical Curriculum Garcia teach and what with regards to Nuoro science particularly or or or sleep what's your background in terms of your research or your interest in in kind of the neuroscience aspects of sleep or sleep circadian. Mississippi or you know things that might relate to Modafferi. Well. So back when I was an undergraduate. I knew that I wanted to study some aspect of the brain but I didn't really have any specific leads when I started out and so I was just thinking about what what aspect of the brain interest me well, my first summer between my freshman and sophomore years I worked in a bakery and I had a very odd shift work schedule was in high school or College College. Okay. This is crazy. We a rattle here because I worked at a bakery realize in my would have been my junior and senior year of College Okay Moscow Idaho I worked at a at a French. Bakery. And it was very funny because our job at the bakery at about four am and prepare everything and it was very French. We're talking chocolate croissants but but Dun Dun rite. With lots of butter and and we had the the croke months was that people coming for for lunch sour dough bread with cheese and tomato on them. What was funny is I would be selling these extremely high carbohydrate high-calorie breakfast items to people in the morning, and then in the afternoon in that, I go off to school at about eight am and take all my courses, and then in the afternoon I worked as a personal trainer at the gym across the street food French bakery. So basically get people fat in the morning. During. A great business model worked at a bakery. This is kind of the opposite end the spectrum in terms of bakery. This was a wonder bread bakery. So My Fluffy. Wait Spongy bread that you can sweep into a ball you know so. Bread. Put Yes. Oh, same thing I go to work at four o'clock in the morning and it was not fun. It was it was brutal to have to do that week in week out. It certainly kept me motivated and inspired to stay in school, but it also gave me focus to my interest in neuroscience I. Sleep thing if your sleep isn't good, things can really go wrong for what is it about sleep? What is it that it does for that? It's beneficial and why is it that I can't just get up at four am when I want to and be fully functional then so We're going back decades now, of course. I'm still you know facing that same question with we have a lot more details now than we did back then about how sleep is regulated and what sleep does for us it's beneficial. In. That story continues to evolve, and so that's that's how I've gotten to where I am today. So you've woven this interest of sleep and the study of the neuroscience of sleep into your course work and and research since then absolutely got you. How much now are do you find yourself talking about sleep or the neuroscience of sleep in your research or your teaching all the time I mean I I try to bring it into the teaching as much as I can, and it's you know because this the nervous system connects to the immune system, and so you're talking about the immune system I can bring it in there. If you look at like stress hormones in in the danger posed to the cell by stress hormones. A lot of that is influenced by whether or not we get good sleep. Glucose utilization is affected by whether or not we get good sleep so. I tried to bring it in its. List goes on and on we we could probably talk for two hours just just on the biological effects of sleep or the lack thereof. But when it comes to either mitigating some of the tiredness and fatigue from lack of sleep or in some cases in the in a case, such as narcolepsy, for example, asleep disorder actually keeping someone awake when they have a disease that causes them to sleep during the day. This mode avenue is or pro vigil it's also cold. Is it quite commonly used and like I mentioned our introduction increasingly used amongst bio hackers and e Gamers and poker players and college students and I've even seen some articles about I believe. It was Duke University was considering some type of a doping monitoring type of system for students using smart drugs like Modano and so based on that. Let's start here described to people what Modafferi L. Actually is. Okay. So Is What we call a small molecule therapeutic. So it is a small molecule that when you take it orally, it will. Enter through the digestive system into the bloodstream. From there, we'll go into the brain and it binds to. A. Cellular molecule known as the dopamine transporter. Okay. So let's maybe take a step back from this. We've got various different neurotransmitters in the brain and probably m guessing your audience recognizes dopamine Oh this transmitter in the brain. The different transmitters have different functions associated with them and we can say in general I mean we could talk about this for if we wanted to talk about you know at at a detailed scientific about this topic alone for hours but for the level that I'm guessing the general public understand, we can associate dopamine with motivational states. And so when we need to focus and stay motivated on task, we have cells in the brain that will produce dopamine release that dopamine that will throughout the brain that will convey to the rest of the brain. Okay. It's time to focus on this task. It's time to stay motivated by this task, right? Okay. So those cells will release dopamine. Now, their release of dopamine is highly regulated and highly controlled because these neurotransmitters like every other neurotransmitter you've got just the right amount of dopamine there signaling the other cells, and so the cells that release the dopamine have a mechanism that allows them to keep its concentration at the appropriate level in that is that they will actually. Take as soon as they release it, it'll stimulate a receptor on the other cells and then it will be taken back into that cell that produced the dopamine and released it in the first place. So kind of similar to what you'd you'd see with like a selective Serotonin, reuptake inhibitor, which would be inhibiting the uptake of Serotonin by that cell that released it in the case of dopamine. It's similar mechanism to where it's in this snapped a cleft, but then it's it's there's a reuptake him back to the neuron from which it originated. Exactly. Yeah, and so you mentioned. So maybe by analogy, we think of an antidepressant drugs selective Serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Well, Daffodil is a selective dopamine. S S. D. Use Your Yoga. Yeah. Well, that's not a term that is. Algae alright make up shit. Okay, so by analogy, that's yeah that's what we're talking about, and so that means that every time you puff of PA- mean that goes out there and conveys to the rest of the brain stay motivated stay focused. It's going to stay there a little bit longer because you've got modafferi ill blocking that re uptake into the cell that produced the release, the dopamine. So you're okay strengthening or enhancing this dopaminergic signal that tells us to focus and stay motivated. Okay and and. Norepinephrine similarly from what I understand is also affected by Moda final. In, and perhaps it's not just dopamine that's being acted upon in terms of of actually. Flooding cells with dopamine or decreasing actual reuptake of dopamine. But then is norepinephrine also affected also, I would say sort of yes and no yes, it is clear that if you measure nor epinephrine in the brains of the Sabine Experimental Animals, people have done this if you measure changes in Europe and. When an animal is given Modafferi ill, you do see an increase in European. Effort as well. Now, it's probably indirect. We know about neurotransmitters is they're all talking with each other simultaneously it's just as cocktail of chemicals in the brain, and so if you block the reuptake of dopamine by the mechanism that I just described, you're going those dopaminergic cells. Some of the other cells that they will activate contact activate will be cells that are producing nor epinephrine right and so then those Nora Ephron sales. Are Okay we we need to be recruited into this process to right and so then we have an increase in Europe and Ephron release in right so yeah. So that's going to help also focus our attention right focus our attention or an excess cost. Some of the potential anxiety that I know some people have reported. You know when when using modafferi especially in higher dosages because. Dopamine, I wouldn't say at least in my own personal experience, even just using a like a dopamine precursor like. Mukunda for example, it doesn't seem to produce any any really pronounced anxiety effects. It's more like a feel-good wakefulness type of effect, but then I think. It does kind of give you like this anxious kind of jittery effect that yeah that makes sense I think that's one of the things that norepinephrine can do. It's you know it's a central mediator of the so-called fighter flight response the sympathetic response. And so yeah anything that does boost nor epinephrine could have that affected probably certainly that's not the case in everyone who takes Daffodil and it probably has to do with individual variability in neurochemical. Titan either dopamine links to the nor effort in that particular individuals central nervous system. Yeah and Then in addition to that and I do want to get into and I think we will kind of. Variations in response to Modano. So my own hypotheses regarding that, but then also have you looked into histamine at all in in a history urgent response to motivational. So. Yes. There is definitely a history urgent response as well, and again you know we have to emphasize that all of these neurotransmitters talk to talk with each other. For better or worse you're going to when you try as selectively as you might try to activate one, you're messing with the whole system in some way or another, which may ultimately be therapeutic for you or it may not be. But yes, Histamine is another one that is the histamine producing cells and so histamine is another. Type of its associated with arousal associated with cognitive enhancement. And the way to think about that is if you take an antihistamine. Allergy drug you're going to be. In a fog. I wasn't happy about this but he was at grandma's house and any the last week and he had an order reaction to to Paul gets a little bit of seasonal allergies. You gave him Benadryl and he has ever rarely. You know we're pretty natural at our house. He's rarely ever ingested pharmaceutical. You know he was sleepy and his eyes rolling over and he said Dad was going on. Shutting down one of the excited Tori compounds in your body histamine and you're probably gonNA sleep a pretty solid tonight and you probably GonNa have some bizarre dreams but but yeah but histamine an excess or something that would block histamine seems to really promote produce the. Kind of wakefulness effect. Well. So let let's be clear. That's what you just described as the effective anti. Blogs me right so Again. Indirectly we think is. The opposite of that. His again, sending out a signal to the cells that produce the histamine that says, Hey, it's time for you histamine cells to be more active and release more histamine and be histamine. Again, as opposed to an antihistamine, the histamine itself is in general associated with improved cognition cognitive enhancement. Aspect of the national story the Guy So critical for it's it's a cognitive enhancement I saw one study that showed about one hundred and fifty percent increase in histamine release sounds about right sean. So we got right open mean who? We've got histamine and then there's also a this interesting molecule called Rexon. Have you looked into how that ties into Modano? Yeah a REC center is. Sort of an upstream regulator of all of these neurotransmitters that we've talked about and so. It the erection producing cells will feed into and potentially activate all of these different cells types that we've mentioned. So MODAFFERI. Stream from that and people who have narcolepsy, they are lacking the erection signal that would otherwise be there i. Would like to wake drive right? That's right. You'd see a a drop in erection as nighttime approaches ran than an increase in identifying which which coffee or caffeine would would decrease the stimulation or at least. I it would it fill those receptors that dentistry would normally interact with. So Wrexham would almost become the opposite of identity and in a sense right wake Dr Yeah. So rex yeah it's it's kind of a master orchestrator of the wake promoting drive in. The hypothalamus one of the most basic functionaries of the brain and it in turn will project to and activate these other the dopamine producing cells, histamine producing cells. So. In narcolepsy, for instance, where they lack or wrexham, you need this pharmaceutical way of boosting those downstream signals and Moderna works very effectively in that context. Okay. Got Another question that I that I wanted to ask because when we look at modell. Has this week from US producing fact but then you know when when you look at some of the literature and I even said you one study that showing an antioxidant effect or kind of almost like a neuro protective effect. Have you seen anything like that? Yeah. So the neuro protective effect I do not put a whole lot of weight onto that so. Here's my understanding of where this alleged antioxidant or or. Neuro protective effect comes from I. Think it's this. There's an impurity in certain synthetic opioids called M. p. t. p.. M.. And I mean this is like, okay. If you're an abuser of of a poorly made synthetic opioids, please get help. If you're not an what I'm about to tell you if you're not an abuser or user of poorly made synthetic opioids, this alleged antioxidant effect is not relevant to you. Okay and here's the deal emptied is impurity. That people will unintentionally take. It gets taken up by the dopamine transporter into dopamine producing cells, and then there's a metabolic process within those dopamine producing cells that produces a toxin and kills the dopamine producing cells. Again all of this is only if you're taking this impurity impure opiates. Okay. Mixture including MP teepee. Well, if you block the dopamine transporter with Modafferi L., you're going to prevent that empty from being taken up run into back into the dopamine producing cells, and so it's protective against the dopaminergic neuro-toxins in that context specifically, there's some speculation that dopamine itself because the path that generates these toxins that I just described that's involved in the metabolism of dopamine itself and but whether or not there's any potential long-term sort of neurodegenerative process that relates to this pathway in the absence of these artificial. Toxins is highly debated, and furthermore if you just look at this empirically. In people who have Parkinson's disease, a condition where we have a known degeneration of the dopamine producing cells does modafferi protect those cells in the Parkinson's population the data that I'm aware of are not particularly strong and so in. This is not to say that you wouldn't enhance cognition with Modafferi in someone who has Parkinson's disease and there are we think of Parkinson's a motor disorder but there are cognitive effects as. Well some of those are treated by Modafferi. No but we have to make a clear distinction between having a cognitive enhancing effect which it does and being somehow neuro protective meaning that it would actually slow the progression of the disease and I just don't think the data are there in terms of slowing the progression of the disease. Okay. Got Is interesting when you say that about Parkinson's because there's another very common. Compound that's being used increasingly again amongst like the smart drug and the biohacking community, and that is a nicotine which suppresses kind of the gathered. Activity on on dopaminergic neurons meaning it would it would keep inhibitory neurotransmitters from from essentially shutting down some of the response to dopamine, which was an issue in Parkinson's and who's doing increase the CD choline activity, and so Actually a lot of people are are combining like a milligram of nicotine with with what would be considered like a Microsoft and fifty grams of Fennell, and that's kind of like a stack that's being used because you're getting a little bit of a dopaminergic protective effect with the nicotine and then a further dopamine release with the Moda final and. The other the other stack that that people often use. This is just caffeine because. I think the reasoning is basically you know that identity talked about earlier. So you've got three different mechanisms of action. Really you've got the decrease in the gabba urging stimulation of those dopaminergic receptors necmettin you have the increase in dopamine norepinephrine, histamine wrexham from the Daffodil, and then you've got the blockage of the dentist receptors from the caffeine, and so you'll see people stacking caffeine nicotine and Mata Fennell to conserve hit cognition and awareness on three different levels. So it's it's interesting what what people are cooking up in their kitchens these days. I want to interrupt today show to tell you about one of the coolest places to shop for online held the items that exists way better than Amazon. Way Better. You can get organic groceries like you can on Amazon, but you also get clean beauty, safe supplements, nontoxic home supplies, ethical means, sustainable seafood, clean wine. You can immediately filter everything by Kito. Paleo Gluten Free Vegan non GMO fairtrade certified bpa free you name it, it really helps you. 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So let's do so be patient with. MODAFFERI. Is FDA approved for conditions in which someone is suffering from excessive daytime sleepiness? Well. Yes and we could I'M GONNA I'M GONNA give you three categories of people were situations. Circumstances in which one would experience excessive daytime sleepiness. So the first is that you have some sort of sleep disorder that prevents you from having good quality sleep at night or getting a sufficient amount of sleep at night, and so if your sleep is poor or you have insufficient sleep at night as a result of sleep disorder, you will have excessive daytime sleepiness and as you mentioned narcolepsy, that's the classic example. So they never go into really deep sleep at night they're never fully awake during the. Day, they take mode avenue, and that will vary effectively address that excessive daytime sleepiness, other examples people have insomnia, and for whatever reason, it's intractable insomnia they're gonNa have excessive daytime sleepiness. They can take Modafferi ill and improve their their daytime functioning sleep apnea sleep apnea is another one. Now, the most important aspect of sleep apnea treatment is something called continuous positive airway pressure cpap machine this CPAP machine to make sure that you have your your breathing continues while you're asleep, but even then you will suffer from. Residual daytime sleepiness with sleep apnea, and so there's another perfect example of where Modano is will ameliorate that excessive daytime sleepiness. So sleepy sleeping a secondary to asleep disorder. The second category I would give you is what I would call situational sleep disorders or situational daytime sleepiness. And situational would refer to the fact that you have some sort of obligation that prevents you from getting good quality sleep at night. So one of them we've already mentioned shift work people EXP-. WHO Undergo shift work, and of course, this is inevitable in many cases, medical professional security guards. ETC, it's unavoidable that tens of millions of people have to. Experience shift work some of them experience excessive daytime sleepiness as a result of that. Disruption of their nighttime sleep with shiftwork Modafferi Hill is approved and is very effective for excessive daytime sleepiness. In that kind of situational, another situation might be a personal situation if you have an ageing parent that you're caring for at home or if you have a young child or or a few young children they're hearing for him and you have. Disrupted sleep at night or breastfeeding, you're going to have sex don't take on. So, if you're in one of these situations and you can't get quality sleep at night or enough sleep a night. MODAFFERI is is recommended and we'll be effective for your excessive daytime sleepiness. Now, I'm going to give you third category and based on the people you're describing who are using. For gamers for cognitive enhancement or whatever. I would say the third category of excessive daytime sleepiness might be what I would call motivational daytime sleepiness. What I mean by that is that someone is intentionally because they have some motivation they are restricting their nighttime sleep. They have decided for whatever reason I. WanNa get five hours of sleep I want to get four hours asleep night every night and I want to that's how I'm going. To live and it's because maybe it's because they live here on the West Coast and they have to monitor things related to the stock market until like midnight, and then they have to get up at five am because that's in the stock market opens on the East Coast or whatever. So now they're only getting five hours sleep a night. You know that's an example or game or or somebody who's just like obsessive about checking twitter. The point is this is a motivational state you have decided I wanna get five hours of sleep. That's what I'm GonNa do, and if you do that, there's a vanishingly small percentage of the population who could pull that off with pharmaceutical enhancement right? Most of us cannot pull that off without pharmaceutical enhancement at least in the long long term more than a few. Days at a time, right? Okay. And so that person they can go to their doctor and say I have excessive daytime sleepiness. The doctors may or may not even ask them why they might say well, when you say that, what do you mean? Well, I like I'll be sitting at my computer and I'll fall asleep and they'll say, okay, you have excessive daytime sleepiness. Here's your prescription for Mode Avenue Right. which is more likely to be able to get your doctorate right your prescription for than telling them that League of legends is really appealing right now exactly. Yeah and there's a person with excessive daytime sleepiness. Well, they take the MODAFFERI. And great now, they can actually stay up nineteen hours a day nineteen hours straight get the five hours sleep wake up. The next morning and everything's great at the cognitive level. That's all true. That's all well and good. But there are some things that are going to go on physiologically even if you're taking daffodil and this is based, I'm saying this not based on speculation but based on observations in published scientific studies. Okay. So now we need to know what goes on physiologically when we restrict ourselves to five hours of sleep a night, and there's there's a lot of really good really solid data out there and I'm going to do my best to summarize it in just a couple of minutes here. So what happens when we get eight nine, ten hours asleep that doesn't happen when we get five hours asleep. Well, let's see first of all when we restrict ourselves to five hours of sleep, we lose our insulin sensitivity. Okay. We undergo a state of insulin resistance if we have five hours of sleep a night. So what that means is that muscles. Listening is interested in athletic performance. If you're GONNA have good athletic performance, you've got to have good glucose absorption into the muscles so that they can take that glucose converted into glycogen, use it later for your athletic performance. If you have five hours of sleep a night. The muscles lose the ability to store that glucose they become insensitive to insulin. Okay. If you take Modafferi nil to help keep you awake when you are undergoing only five hours asleep a night. that. Loss of response to insulin still occurs Okay so you may be wide awake. Your brain says, Hey, I'm great I'm feeling fine. Your muscles are saying. I'm not. going. To Pick up any glucose I'm not going to deposit like agenda. So and that's this scientific. This is published is something that's been studied systematically other things. Cortisol is our stress hormone, right? It's fighter flight for hormone. Under normal circumstances, if you're getting eight nine, ten hours of sleep night reading at a burst of of Cortisol in the morning and that's good. I mean this is preparing you for the day. This is preparing you to use those muscles that you have used that you've stored up glycogen and the previous night and so and so you had that burst of Cortisol and then in the evening, the cortisol goes down and disappears and the Cortisol actually will inhibit the response of muscles to insulin. and. So this is why it's good in the evening the Cortisol drops you get the insulin signal that the muscles can detect both the absence of Cortisol and the presence of insulin. They say, Okay Time, to store some glucose and that's what they do. People who are restricted to five hours of sleep a night either voluntarily or under of research protocol will have that Cortisol continuing into the night and the Cortisol being there suppresses the response to insulin, and so again, you have that reduced muscle mass building of muscle mass you're restricted to five hours asleep that increase in Cortisol in the evening. That will occur whether or not. You're taking mode avenue take mode after nail your brain says, Hey, everything's great. Your muscles getting signal from Cortisol, that says, this is fighter flight time. This is not time to store glucose it's time to burn glucose. Throw in there that that's related to this. This exercise piece is I would say about half a dozen times because we schedule this interview about I guess it was maybe about a month to month and a half ago. So about half a dozen times between now, and then because I always liked to do a bit of immersive journalism I took avenue and I took about one hundred I very between one hundred and two hundred milligram dosage, which is which is pretty common. We didn't low to moderate and get into microdosing. Also, some people are actually using it as a as a hallucinogenic to it at higher dosages which can get into if we have time. And I noted the increased time to exercise fatigue for sure like it definitely enhanced workouts. However, what I also noticed was that the morning after the day on which I took Daffodil, I was remarkably more sore from my workouts and I would theorize that based off what you're describing about the about the benefits of sleep that go beyond simply allowing you to have better. Cognition the next day that there was a remarkable decrease in neuro muscular or musculoskeletal recovery due to the impact on sleep quality because I also measured mice my sleep I use this this ring to measure my sleep and my deep sleep levels particularly were were remarkably low the night after which I had taken Dafna although I took just a standard dosage in the morning which Should be out of the body in twelve to fifteen hours. It impacted the quality of the muscular, the muscular recovery that occur during sleep to the extent to where I I had a notable increase in soreness that I usually wouldn't experience the next day. I was fine as far as wakefulness the next day with my body was sore. Yeah. So these are things that we have to watch out for if you're going to try to use mode avenue for cognitive enhancement specifically with the goal of restricting your sleep, you will pay physiological price for that growth hormone. It's the same thing we need our deep slow wave sleep in order for us to have that surge of growth hormone that occurs at night. If, you restrict someone to five hours of sleep. They don't have that surge in growth hormone that's true whether or not. They are taking what avenue at the time finally Melatonin I don I think people are a little more excited about Melatonin than I think the data often. Often supports but we have an increase in Melatonin at night when we get eight nine, ten hours asleep that increases blunted when we have five hours asleep and if have five hours asleep and you're supplementing yourself with Modafferi. That Melatonin is still lost. So yeah. So you're paying a physiological and hormonal price. Your time spent awake and there's one thing you didn't mention which I'm actually interested in, and that would be this idea that if you are consistently flooding the receptors with dopamine. Could you create a state of I guess what I might call dopamine insensitivity in which things that would normally Elissa dopamine response become less enjoyable or require more of them to become as enjoyable like could you theoretically or have you seen in the literature for example? Increased susceptibility to. Eating. Because food isn't as rewarding or you know I, I would theorize perhaps even appetite cravings or more snacking because you're looking for more dopamine hits during the day you know maybe sex might become less enjoyable. You know any of these things that rely on dopamine if you need more and more dopamine and then there's just a theory I haven't seen literature on this. It would seem that that constantly flooding the receptors of dopamine like that might induce some kind of dopamine insensitivity, your tolerance to dopamine itself. Yeah I guess I'm not aware of anything like that happening with modafferi Hill that's a that's a good question for for you to pursue. That's probably something you. Look up myself later, but I'm not aware of anything like that happening with. Certainly, that kind of mechanism exists in nervous system. There's no doubt that does it. So often if someone takes methamphetamine which methamphetamine boosts Doberman or dopamine production through somewhat different ways than mode half and we have to discriminate them they both while both act on dopamine, it's by quite distinct mechanisms. But like with methamphetamine users, they will often undergo dose escalation and it's probably because of what you're describing here like you're sort of desensitizing the system, you need to crank it more and more to have a positive affect. Have you looked into weather tolerance builds up over time if you need increasingly larger amounts of Modano. Any date on that I think it's stable dosing works in long term I believe I looked into it a little bit there. There's one pretty large retrospective study that found in a bunch of patients who taking Modafferi no for some for some of the label uses that you were talking about earlier like narcolepsy. For example, they didn't need any significant difference in their dosage from the start of their prescription. This is over several months in the end it was it was still effective. And the then most most of the reports tolerance aren't places like read it or you know or forums or kind of like the underground biohacking type of type of comments on blog sessions for people like, yeah, I need more and more time. But in actual research, they haven't found that to be the case and perhaps that could also be due to the fact that. Many of these people who are using it for for off label use they're they're using from what I've seen as far as like the chatter on the Internet's pretty high dosages meaning excess of two hundred milligrams up to eight hundred milligrams, which is a lot more than the standard kind of fifty to two hundred milligrams now I believe two hundred is pretty much standardized. If you're pushing it beyond that. Another. Few few thought that I had would be the desensitization tolerance meaning. There are the receptors that activate the dopamine transporters and apparently those can be down regulated in particular two that I came across one called Tari a R. I and other called D. Two, and those are apparently to activators of the dopamine transporter that get down regulated win you are using modell and I did. Find some literature showing that if you if you cycle it like if you do like three days on one day off or three weeks on one week off or just take it on the weekdays and the weekends off that the the dopamine transporters do not actually become down regulated. So there may be something to be said for cycling it. Yeah that's a good point. Yeah, I mean. That sounds legit to me. Yes. Okay. This all sounds based on not that I'm recalling specific studies but knowing how the nervous system works and how it will react to repeat exposures. That sounds like a very reasonable cost ability to me. I also want to unpack something related to. Something, you kind of alluded to earlier now be different people responding in different ways and when I was thinking about this, you know began to think about the same way as one would think about coffee jar we know for example, in many people are aware if they're taking a twenty three and me test reported to be a fast coffee oxidizer versus a slow coffee oxidizer. D. C. P. Jeans, and the these would be related to liver enzymes responsible for breaking down certain compounds and we know that modell is processed in deliver something. We'll have a higher activity of those jeans and some people a lower activity. Yeah. These are the site of crumbs pledged. To compete for fifty yes. So there's one of them. Daphne side of chrome to see one nine is the name of it and apparently people who would have a higher activity of those enzymes would breakdown. MODAFFERI. No more quickly and potentially feel it less than the people with lower activity of those enzymes and so that that's where I suspect. Perhaps the difference in the way that certain people would feel when taking Dafna would lie. And so then I got to thinking well. Okay. So so we know that in people who are, for example, a fast coffee oxidizer. There are certain things that can slow down the activity of those those Cyp Enzymes Cyp inhibitors and that would actually allow you to if you're breaking it down too quickly for it to remain in your bloodstream for longer period of time or free to feel it more and so I looked all these inhibitors in grapefruits the most common group, I when he got to be really careful. Because if you take that at the same time as a pharmaceutical, you can actually inhibit the breakdown of that pharmaceutical news or an extent, but but COPA. something. That's kind of uses a smart drug for memory. That's another one that seemed to inhibit a bear breen was another. And then there's a California poppy and chaste tree. So it turns out that there are certain things that if you weren't really feeling the Modafferi no, or you felt like you are non responder, you could take one of these CYP inhibitors at the same time and kind of assess whether or not. That might be the case you know and so it seems there's almost like this metabolic tolerance to it, and then also kind of this dopamine tolerance to that could be hit in two different ways right? I. Think that's true. I would just offer a significant level of caution to somebody who wants to mess with their liver ends. Exactly. Exactly. Okay and I have all sorts of fun little things I want to delve into to I don't know if you've looked into sleep cycles and I couldn't find a lot about this. But the reason that I want to delve into this was because when I used it, I noticed that I woke up the next day at a very early time very early time you take. MODAFFERI. Let's say seven one morning. And then. Suddenly. Without changing anything else in your life. You wake up about four or five am for one or two days afterwards making me think that there's something going on in terms of the actual impact on sleep cycles. You theorized. Or? That I this one I have not heard of before that Ashley I'm thinking maybe it has something to do with that erection in the chain wake Dr Potentially if like if you're shifting wake drive later in the night, but but the the deal with that is you'd think if you were to shift wake drive forward then you'd wake later not earlier rights if you're if you're shifting your erects at yeah, that would be. So you know you've you've shifting your your sleep drive to start to kick in like ten PM, and he falsely midnight you'd think very logically that then the wake Dr would kick in again at a later time like cat you know maybe you're waking up at eight am and not. Normal six am but instead it seems to occur and I talked with another. Couple of folks who who had experienced this idea where you like wake up earlier when you're. well, the one possibility I can offer that everyone has a circadian clock and I don't know if that means anything but this is the. Clock that controls the time of day at which we wake up. It is responsive to these some of these various neurotransmitters that we've talked about, and again we've talked about how when you. Modify the DOPAMINERGIC signaling signaling with Modafferi Nail you essentially modified these various other neurotransmitters. They could be providing feedback to that circadian clock in particular if we engage in exercise early in the morning and and simultaneously expose ourselves to light as part of that exercise prices that will. Push the clock to an earlier wake up time right and so you may have been doing that with. When you take modafferi and Elliot's suddenly this big arousing signal, you're increasing your exercise level. You're probably increasing your exposure to late, and that's going to shift the clock a little bit earlier in the day. So that's my best hypothesis about that one. Yeah. Light is so fascinating in terms of it being able to it seems override or mitigate the issues with a lot of these compounds melatonin being another high dose Melatonin is something that you know even during this recent Kobe epidemic came because he'll be using the Melatonin as as a way to manage I believe. The potential for for Kobe to attach to receptors, and there's some other literature that that could potentially suggest Melatonin may have some type of antiviral activity. Then there's also some people who use high high dose Melatonin for Circadian, Rhythm Mississippi, for example, traveling across multiple time zones and wake up groggy and the same can be said for CBD. For example, many people use cbd they'll wake up groggy and one of the best ways to eliminate that. Groggy even even better than than coffee or you know I don't know modano would do I would imagine what would probably help out quite a bit but it's light like just staring at sunlight exposure or even you're staring a back lit led of a computer screen like any hefty exposure to light in the morning seems to throw off some of those facts and so what I did based on that was when I began to wake up early. I kept myself from light I kept myself from light until the time arrived at which I wanted to start waking up right and then and then so I put on blue light blocking glasses when I woke up smart. Kim. My body thinking because, I, I just can't lay in bed for two hours from four to six am driving me nuts so I get up but to keep things dark turn off or turn on lights in the. House. Keeping the computers with the red light mode on the computers where blue light blocking glasses and then when six or seven am rolled around. I'd take all that often just blast myself with light and it seemed to shift my circadian rhythm. Back into cycle thought was really odd I would have expected I would want to sleep in the day after taking Modafferi. Oh but it was just the opposite I suspect there's some feedback on until the. Yeah. So I have, I have a few notes here about a few other things that I wanted to ask you about one would be do no. I mentioned that I guess this one hundred to two hundred milligram dose seems to last about twelve to fifteen hours. But have you looked into like time spent in the bloodstream if it's still in the bloodstream for a longer period time than that or or anything along those lines. So while are two different anti murders in an aunt humor refers to the fact refers to a molecule that can have different shapes and so the analogy that you can think of is that your hands they're shaped very similarly but they're. Actually symmetrical. Each other right because the thumbs are pointing inward right so that's how it is with Modafferi ill molecules there two different shapes of modafferi molecule and they are metabolized differently, and so it turns out that there's an are anti humor in an s an anti-american. And the are one in fact has been marketed as. Well as a distinct for. I haven't used it but I've heard it's stronger. So yeah well, this one is the one that's is metabolized very slowly. Okay. So it's got a much longer half life than the S and Antar interests and that. Might be good or bad on exactly what indication you? Right or I suppose that you could theoretically if you were using the are an anti mirror, throw throw in one of those tricks like grapefruit juice and. And Slow Down Twenty four seven you know the. Interesting, just the total total rabbit hole here side comment in addition to those those Cyp inhibitors I was talking about there are some other compounds I came across. That appears to actually neutralize avenue or slow its release whichever using that that are version could come in handy. This is this is kind of related to to. Some people use. To take the edge off of a stimulant many people use modano will use standing to take the edge off the the Olympic effects. Coffee is another one many people will put about one hundred milligrams of thinning in with their coffee especially these so called slow coffee oxidizer and it takes the edge off of coffee. Well, it turns out that these these prebiotic compounds like marshmallow root and an annual in. What's cellulose you know some of the things people usually like feed good bacteria in their gut those also slow the release or the uptake of Modano. Insult. So that'd be that'd be another hack if you're using like the really strong version, the are version of MODAFFERI. I thought I thought that was interesting. How many different things can kind of kind of tweak its its absorption and so in terms of the actual on sets or the duration what I found I'm I'm GonNa read this graphic that I found you onset and this would be for a standard one hundred, two, hundred, milligram dosage onset would be forty five minutes to two hours where where you really start to feel it the time until. One to two hours, the peak effects occur at about two to four hours from intake. So you know arguably if you're taking this so that you can go crush conference or board meeting or something like that, and the board meetings at ten you'd actually take it like seven or eight am couple of hours prior. The tapering off like I mentioned is like twelve to sixteen hours. The total duration being sixteen to twenty two hours for for like a standard dosage like one hundred to two hundred milligram usage obviously based on what we've talked about already probably a pretty big amount of variation with that. Yeah. No doubt there is. The the other thing that I came across that was interesting was this idea of the use of Modafferi modell as a way for people to get over hangovers seems to be popular hangover remedy and this concerns me again because we know that alcohol needs to be neutralized by the liver modafferi needs to be neutralized by the liver I would imagine and I don't know what your thoughts on. This would be that if you're using would apple regularly as a hangover remedy, you're putting some pretty undue stress on the liver. I. Think the the alcohol obviously is putting the stress on the liver. And how would that affect Modafferi? This is certainly at the periphery of my expertise, but the FDA is pretty sensitive about things harming the liver. For obvious reasons I don't think there are concerns with modafferi harming liver, but we'll. Combination. That's exactly what I was. GonNa. Say if people when tweaking their liver enzymes, all bets are off. Right, exactly the the other one in addition deliver because because alcohol is metabolized Cyp four fifty. And then Modafferi allies. Bhai. Cyp Enzyme and so I would imagine that would be not so great for the liver versus Stacking Moda Fennell I talked about mixing with something like nicotine or caffeine or something like that. It'd probably enhance the effects but alcohol would actually put undue stress on the liver If, you have that in your system at the same time as modell another one that I found interesting obviously, we both live in Washington state where marijuana is legal is they actually did a study on marijuana and Modano and they looked at the combination of THC. And what they found was that the normal euphoric effect of. Seems to be down regulated by a combination with. So it looks like it looks like based on that. If you were weed smoker, you're turning to weed for the enjoyment effects that modano could actually blunt some of that effect So you know that'd be another probably. took a with would imagine I'm wondering if this is know one of these desensitization process going on. Yeah. Yeah and then here's what's interesting. I know I'm throwing a lot of stuff out there but I just you know in in leading up to chatting with you, I just started to to dig into all these different off label uses of Modafferi Mel. So apparently, the way that you described that Madonna works earlier is almost the same way that cocaine works in terms of its effect on dopamine. Yeah. So there are some effort there are definitely some parallels, but there are some important differences and. One of the differences is that while Modafferi nil appears to act pretty much exclusively by blocking that dopamine transporter. Cocaine has effects mediated by blockade of the dopamine transporter, just like mode F ing, but also serotonin transporters to some extent and noradrenaline transporters to some extent. Okay. So that's one thing that will discriminate modafferi from cocaine. The other I think is has to do with what we call the pharmacokinetics and this is we've already made reference to the pharmacokinetics like. Its initial effect will be forty five to sixty minutes after administration peaks at two hours, you know remains for sixteen twenty. So that's a very slow pharmacokinetic response that response that you get to Madeira? Phil. Cocaine. Cocaine you experiment of nature. So you can take coca leaves you could chew on them. Typically we'll do with like a rock and this is what the end is that a couple of times. It was actually I hear cocaine I. Think you know addicted people going going crazy you know you mean they're living room for eight hours. But I tried a little bit of coca leaf. One of my friends gave me some as mixed with Baking Soda Because Apparently the baking Soda Konak causes a little bit of the cabinet right lip and and I just put a little bit lower lip with baking soda and it felt like had a little coffee kind of slowly system. So if you look at the pharmacokinetics of cocaine getting into the brain when you take it in that manner when you chew on coca leaf and it's slowly absorbed through the gums and more way through the bloodstream up to the brain. The pharmacokinetics are largely similar to those of Modafferi Hill it's going to creep up slowly. Over a period of hours and it's going to drop over a period of hours, and as you just said, the cognitive experience is not dramatically different from O'Donnell. If you take cocaine and you inject orally, it's going to be the same that you can actually get some through your stomach and it again slow rising. You'll just have sort of a general alertness improving and focusing effect if you inject cocaine into your veins that will get into the brain faster. Now we're starting to the world of euphoria right or if you snort it or if you smoke it, then it gets right into the brain and that's when you see people having these issues of of. Experiencing, the euphoria and then having difficulties with dose escalation and everything else that goes on with cocaine abuse. So when we published our data originally saying this is a dopamine transporter blocker and here's our evidence and here's why and I believe those data have stood the test of time. But a lot of the reaction to that negative reactions to that concept was like wait cocaine blocks dopamine transporter. This is nothing like cocaine. Well, it's only the for. Cocaine in. A form that is chewing on the coca leaf for swallowing the coca leaf that has similar pharmacokinetic profile. You have a similar experience and it's only when you change the pharmacokinetics and with mode Avondale, there's no way to change the pharmacokinetics you can't smoke it. You can't. You can't really put it into a form that's injectable very effectively. So it is very different from cocaine in that respect but they a our concept has stood the test of time it is binding to the dopamine transporter same site as cocaine begs the question about whether or not. There's like an international spray version of Buddha fell just because I know. A lot of people now are are like doing international an international. Suny. oxytocin. Yeah. I know I would say this probably it's been tried in if new somebody's. News be out. That's my guests. Yeah. It's a very funny compound in terms of its physical properties. It's very difficult to work with and so. As far as I know, there's no way to to get A. Direct shot to the brain. The reason I ask about the cocaine is apparently. Eight hundred milligrams of Modafferi, in people who have used cocaine and also use Modafferi these folks report that they get a very similar effect as using cocaine when they take eight hundred milligrams of Moda. Fennell, which I would suspect presents a whole host of issues for both deliverer and the dopamine sensitivity based. Yeah but apparently produces some kind of a hallucinogenic effect and I am in no way endorsing the the off label use of a pharmaceutical drug in very high dosages to Santa effect as cocaine. But beyond glad he's Very. Interesting And by the way for any of you listening in right now. I'm going to link to Jonathan's research website, as well as links to the studies mentioned during today's podcast and Also, this is where you can go to ask your own questions or leave your own feedback about your use. Your thoughts regarding it. If you go to Ben Greenfield fitness dot com slash modafferi. That's Ben grateful. FINISHED DOT com slash modafferi. If you don't know how to spell Daffodil. All good luck use google. Okay. So just just a couple final things to touch on here in closing. Have you used a reviews modell yourself knowing what you know about it? I have never used it because I do not experience excessive daytime sleepiness. Things that I've always done with my research is try to apply it to my own life to the greatest extent possible and so it's not that I have never experienced excessive daytime sleepiness. It's very rare for me. I have two children once in a while they'll be sick in order to be up at night because of them or my pet dog being sick or something, but that's so rare that. The excessive daytime sleepiness as the next day, and then it's gone. And so yeah, I never have yeah. Yeah and I I also wanted to comment on my own experience with it because I got a prescription. From a physician for two hundred Milligram Modano tablets and I cut those with a with a razor blade in half because I really didn't want two hundred milligrams and with one hundred milligram dosage and I did try to hundred once and it was I was up until midnight me after taking us seven dosage and didn't like it at all. I noticed that I I did indeed have complete resistance to falling asleep on days for which I was sleep deprived but it was a very annoying feeling as though I was sleepy and irritable but couldn't sleep if I tried to sleep couldn't talk away for an nap if I tried to. And felt as though there were some definite low level irritability or anxiety that accompanied it. I did not try the L. thinning trick that supposedly works quite well in that scenario but my own experience with dictate that it would be something that I would have on hand for example, sometimes all to Japan or fly overseas, which is Seattle and I'll get in it midnight and have to give a talk it. or you know by the time we get to my hotel and get bad. It's like am I, gave it up at seven to give the talk I could see myself using it for for a scenario like that. I could also see. You know in a military scenario or scenario in which one was having to operate under very stressful conditions sleep-deprived that could come in handy but for me personally because I know people are gonNA ask based on the literature. I've seen in metabolism by the liver and the effects on dopamine that made me suspect there could be some dopamine insensitivities that could kick in with long-term usage I have that giant bottle of mode ethanol towelettes. Known my pantry and I would say it'd be that type of thing that would probably turn to based on my lifestyle maybe once a month on some really hefty days in which I'm sleep deprived or some big travel engagements where where just across multiple time zones and still got to operate so to speak, yeah, that sounds to like a reasonable in healthy approach actually an I'm just thinking by way of analogy to insomnia medications. Because people who experience insomnia periodically infrequently generally respond quite well to insomnia therapeutics which are true typically agents that either increase the signalling of Gabba, the inhibitory neurotransmitter or shut off signaling of erects in the one, the master orchestrator of wake that we talked about earlier. So it seems that periodic use of insomnia medications is a very effective approach and it's only when you start having to take it every night that just things can really go haywire. So I would suggest it's probably a very healthy way to think about Modafferi Avenue. Well, if you have excessive daytime sleepiness situationally, very specific and very infrequent situations, then take it. In those situations but don't be a motivational don't make yourself suffer from motivational daytime sleepiness and then use MODAFFERI. Data to day thing for that purpose jumping cold water instead or S. S. O. so here's the deal I've just met you. But we're definitely going to have to go louder swim all right now. into it, there's not a lot of. Cold River and splash around. So we'll do that and in the meantime you guys for those you listening of questions for Jonathan or myself just go to Ben Greenfield fitness dot com slash modell and I'll put links to everything that we talked about and research studies and you can jump into the discussion over there and in the meantime Jonathan thanks for coming on the show you're very welcome. Yeah. Now this is a lot of fun lot of fun. Yes. All right. Cool. Well, thanks for listening folks I'm Ben Greenfield along with Dr Jonathan Wiser signing out from Ben Greenfield fitness dot com have an amazing week. Thanks for listening to today's show, you can grab all shown still resources pretty much everything that I mentioned or at Ben Greenfield fitness dot com along with plenty of other goodies from me including the highly helpful Ben Recommends Page, which is a list of pretty much everything that I've ever recommended for hormones sleep digestion, fat loss performance, and plenty more. Please also know that all the links. All the Promo codes that I mentioned during this an every episode helped to make this podcast happen and to generate income that enables me to keep bringing you this content every single week. So when you listen in, be sure to use the links and the show notes, use the Promo Code generate because that helps to float this thing and keep it coming to you each and every week.

dopamine MODAFFERI Modafferi Modano histamine excessive daytime sleepiness narcolepsy Lucy It cortisol Melatonin Modafferi L. Tim Ferriss Hillary Clinton Ben Greenfield Chuck Laka Laka Ben Mississippi daytime sleepiness
IBIZA 2020 Mix - Club Music Mix

EDM Banging Radio

1:13:20 hr | 3 months ago

IBIZA 2020 Mix - Club Music Mix

"KQED. OPT. Them. TURF. She needs. Current Are. Those. S Not. Okay. Dispute. US. So. Does, Shown. Think. Only. Talk Snuff! Inflation! WAS Sure. Only Talk. Talk. Who? A. Third. Being sure. Trampoline. Feeding your. Kim You feel. Only. D-. D-. From. Suit. self-esteem dopamine no, no way me I'm. Jewish, if is logistics, logistics, I believe in me. Really soon. Running from catching. Most dedicated visit plan. More. I'll. Go! The Right Ben. Carson this time. Back. Room. Stream. ooh! When I ask if you still. there. Don't say. Do they really even though? Bye. You Go. Up the first time that. Time, keep pretending that it does view lane. When asked! That don say. Even though Coke. The. New? Own. Burn. Plume. Case. Kate. Seems. Blue! PGA! Thank. God! With Four. Couples. Feel. Face things along. Sweet. Excuse. ME. Answer. Bowl. mm-hmm.

US Kim You TURF dopamine Coke Carson KQED. Kate don
#117

First of All

1:50:08 hr | 3 months ago

#117

"You're listening to. Long? Welcome back to first of all a real unfiltered conversation career family relationships culture. I'm your host, Maggie, Chang and thanks so much for tuning in for this week's. I hope you're doing well sting safe saying sane and staying healthy, please for the love of God where mask social distancing. And help out your neighbors how you can. Buy Social. Distancing are wearing a mask and. Be a good human being. which in America seems to be kind of a tall order these days, and it's driving me a little bit crazy more so than usual, because the absurdity of these anti massacres makes my brain melt. I have I'm trying to do my best to be as compassionate as possible to understand where they're coming from, but at the end of the day. Strongly severely vehemently against all that they're arguing it is ludicrous. It is entitled it is a waste of time. It is harmful to others. Stop it where mask. And or go outside It's it's a small ass. Compared to what it is doing, impact wise to the safety and health of others. Okay, pretty sure if you're listening to this podcast, you're probably not a person that, doesn't. I don't know I'm making assumptions, but if you're not if you've been lax about it. I'm really asking you. Yes, you directly. You. Who are point yourself? Wake me. Yeah, you please wear masks. Anyway. I'm really excited about this week's episode. Not because the the subject itself is, you know. An exhilarating topic, but it's something that's really really meaningful and I think important in terms of society at large. humanity mental health physical health. And something that is surrounded by a lot of stigma. And guilt and shame, and therefore doesn't get a lot of discussion in a public space between normal human beings people who are not like clinicians And this week we're talking about addiction and I have a really wonderful conversation with my friend Janice Ho. And Janice is a Korean Canadian who's based in Toronto and she is formerly a researcher in the criminal justice field, and she currently freelances in marketing and communications. She does copy editing research and she also hosts a podcast called the soul's work podcast where she discusses personal experiences. Experiences and lessons learned from her self development journey so Janice I got to meet through my Patriot on support group, and I love her so much and I just appreciate her willingness and her vulnerability to walk me through her addiction to alcohol, and how that's played out in Cova, did not just covid times in prior to that and where she's hoping to go forward Because again this is a very loaded topic and addiction something for a lot of you know normal citizens like myself to have some level of familiarity in terms of knowing that it exists, but not knowing how it necessarily works or how deeply it can affect. All of our lives right so not only the person who has the addiction, but the people who care about that person who have to deal with it it is something very real and I don't know the numbers or data, but I do think. Given modern times I really wouldn't be surprised if we are a more addicted society before because there's so many things to be addicted to. I'm really fascinated by like the dopamine dopamine. Kick that we get from leg Oliver Social Media. all the alerts and bells and whistles that are vying for attention. Literally. I think you know people didn't like Steve. Jobs admit that he wouldn't even WANNA. Give kids an iphone. Anyway. There's more to discuss, but we're starting with addiction to alcohol and the general starting conversation around it. and so I do ask that everybody tuning in. y'All my tribe, and I love you and just putting that extra emphasised to. Be Open minded and be. Compassionate and have grace, because it is not easy to talk about stuff like this and again I really think Jonas for for doing that and all of us moving forward. I think it's just become all the more apparent for us to be. Open to listen and to think deeply about things before forming. A strong conclusion or opinion and in that way will continue to do really important work to resolve. These issues. However, they impact our lives. Okay, so just putting that disclaimer out there. and also want to warn people that apologetically the audio in this kind of subpar I'm really sorry. My usual audio setup I just didn't export things correctly. So I'm really sorry and thank you to Marvin my producer, who salvaged as he could, but the audio quality is going to be a little bit less than usual in this episode so. I Apologize I'm sorry and I'll I'll be better about making sure I save an export. My files more vigilantly from now on Love Mindy. Also please You know I hope I'm really happy to hear that people enjoying these episodes especially during the coronavirus. And to take away from what's happening with the black lives matter movement There still are so many. Important. Fights that are happening right now. In terms of justice for Briana Taylor for alleged McLean which is like the the newest horrific thing to learn about so. yeah, I just really encourage people who who are in this fight with the black community, and just the fight in general for equality in general for the LGBTQ plus community that we just have pride month that I feel like. Really just fly Please, let's all do our part big or little to help. Keep these movements alive, and even though the intense. You know. Media Frenzy might be kind of dissipating around it. We can all do our part to stay. To stay on the job, right and to tag each other as teammates to do the work and to remind everybody that we can all do something even if that's not monetary, even a matter, social media or signing a petition or calling local government office, or whatever whatever it is that you can do, please continue to do that work and thank you to everybody who has been doing their part again. Whatever your motion was really really thank you. And without further ADO. I hope that you enjoy this episode with Janice. And I'm looking forward to hearing responses on this. Here is facing addiction with genital. Hello Miss Janice Hello. Miss Mingy. How're you doing? I'm all right as you know, this is a ride. All you know, it's just A. General unraveling of. World. And it's so sad that that actually is a little thing Yet I'm doing okay. I've been overall positive you know, and they bless your heart I've been so happy to talk to you more at. Hang out with you on our weekly. God. Those are so nice. Are they is just like? It's so therapeutic right, but sometimes we rant and sometimes we like laughing. That's all we need, and it's cool because like everybody brings in their own unique personality vibe we. Were like a whole cast of characters, so it's cool. Everybody's really nice there so it. Hey, if listed. You Might WanNa Support Minjiang page yawning. Thank you I love returns this. Adila plan go. Always. it's. It's so weird that we've already had so many of them in. We had many discussions on like out. Time feels so warped. Bizarre because some days it just feels so eternal, but then it's also passing quickly our towards the end of May soon. What is happening right now? Totally Yeah Yeah Will I have done my very brief. You know hype woman, Intro View. Dislike. You always want to set the. Of the conversation in. Either I'm still getting to know you which has been so wonderful, but like do you WanNa just? GAVE THE SYNOPSIS OF? Janice is who I am will first of all I'm Canadian so I'm like honored in general to be here. The honored doubly vigorous Canadian. 'CAUSE I. Don't Know How many can eating guests? You've had on your show. That's many. You You I. I have no memory at this. While also. Janet I'm from Toronto, born and raised and I don't know. What should I say I am a freelancer? I've been doing that for about three years everything from. A marketing and communications to research writing copy editing project management but my first career was actually doing research in the criminal justice field which I did for about eight years. and. I was previous to the shit hitting the fan. I was digital, no matting and that sort traveling around Costa Rica, Panama was in. California for a few weeks. Your stomping grounds. Cupertino At none I went to Mexico and I was supposed to be in Mexico until mid. April when I was gonNA, come back because my health insurance was running out at that point, but ten days into Mexico was one. We were pretty much getting called back home and I just flew back. Over and here I am. My goodness. Yeah, that's the only. Way. I checked in when all the everything was happening here in Cupertino at the time that already feels like lifetimes ago and you've had quite a journey since then getting situated figuring out how to basically Just drop all your plans of all. This international traveled back in Toronto which is crazy and so? In the short amount of time that we've been able to have these weekly talks. I've definitely recognized your resilience as a person I mean. It's not just anybody that can be like I mean. Everybody's going through right now. Right inversions, and it's just having everything being upheaval and just figure out totally. Its survival Scott so I really wanted to commend you on air for that because I. Really Admirable I appreciate it and you know I think maybe similar to you because I feel like I've heard you say this before, but the stuff that I was going through in the few months before any of this happened I was already going through. A ton of grief My last breakup was so so painful and just having to live through that I think almost sort of mentally prepared me. Are you know. Great I. Mean I. think that's A. That's an not trying to make light of your pain. It's just like you and I know we've commiserated on this. It is It's a whole other type of. Turmoil and as a whole other type of. Appeal if you will. But there's a silver lining like you're saying. You know to to recognize that. There was some level of preparation you had to deal with. Another significant thing. Doesn't necessarily mean like it that much more because you're already. In one of the most painful situation seeking can dealing with witches heart rate. My heart goes out to you and I mean I'm just so glad of how about how you and I have been able to get to know each other, but also how we've opened up about really tough topics right in that's something that has become kind of a trademark of this podcast that I wanna be able to go into dark spaces or to talk about harder things that are very layered and complex or deep right. And? That a world. That's where united connected because. We can have these one on one conversations in private, and that is incredibly important and I'm not that small in any way, but it's it's different to open up about extremely private challenges in public manner because. Inherently like that's kind of why. We so moved to talk about this topic, which is addiction? In a public format, because it's a common thing that a lot of different people struggle with either personally or within like their families or friends or relationships and. There's so much baggage with that that it's hard to just talk about that openly. I feel like addiction is of that. Lepers cousin that we like stuff in the attic and we know it's there and we hear you know them like walking around upstairs while we politely like sit at the dinner table, and but we just don't want to face it like it is such a stigmatize like difficult challenging topic to talk about, and it's a shame because it is so frigging prevalent. In Our society, so I love like. Thank you for opening up this conversation here in this is why I love your podcast been a listener fan for so long because I love hearing about the the hard to talk about conversations and I think it's on foreign to be open about it and talk about it because I feel, people want to talk about it or hear about it or at least know that they're not alone, you know. Ray, right it's it's such A. Such an extremely personal thing. And I and I said this in the intro that you nor I are in this topic were simply to human beings as human beings dealing with. Dealing with it in our versions, and it's just like opening up this conversation so I just want to reiterate that because I think whatever we are putting out into the open were not claiming to be subject matter. Experts are saying that like. Anything prescriptive, right? It's just really just a discussion so I I want to reiterate that because in this time in content creation in the age of the Internet right things can be misconstrued in I don't I don't think you, nor I are coming from a place of. Authority of like Oh. This is how it should be handled like even that right. That's another layer why it's even hard to talk about this openly because. I personally don't ever want to be held to a certain level of accountability of like Oh woman. mingy said to do this like Bro I. But here now like the next person, right? Sure, absolutely just putting that out there and. Against the thank you for offering to like, open up about your experiences and I know that. You had been showing with me that you had been doing more research on it and understanding it from a more objective scientific perspective, and so that stuff that I have yet to fully understand actually. I did some light, very very superficial, preliminary youtube video listening In the recent past and curious about just on a brain level how that works in terms of. Dopamine are like our neurotransmitters and how we get hooked on things because there's just like I guess kick things off I know. What are the reasons why there's so much? Shame is that there's so much judgment placed on the person who is the addict right? Even if you're not even consciously trying to judge that person, even if you are that person that judgment you put on yourself The And just understand it on a scientific level I was just like looking to you to like educate. And bring me up to speed to where you are I'll I'll do a I'll do my best in China. Summarize some sort of complex information. And again as she said I'm not an expert, either I'm learning as I go, but I think it is really important understanding what actually happens on brain level because it does take away a lot of the stigma and like demystify is. you know what seems like such insane irrational behavior, and offers an actual rational explanation of why people become addicted and stay addicted so the sort of key things understand about addiction is understanding our dopamine reward pathway, and that's in everyone's brain, et part of our brain that evolved through natural selection, so that our brain would learned that things like food or sex were desirable, and you know obviously because those are things that we need to do to ensure survival we need. We need to procreate right, and so when we do those things, it causes this sense of pleasure in our brain. It releases. These chemicals called dopamine. Into this pathway and into part of our brain, that recognizes that this is rewarding, and it motivates us to keep on seeking out those behaviors now every single addictive drug basically acts on this dopamine pathway, and instead of just being sort of a natural release of dopamine on that you might get from things like sex and other things as well. Eating chocolate, or you know hugging a friend or listening to a beautiful piece of music on when like on Instagram? That's the thing to an even. That's addictive for people to write like. They've actually been studying how. Social, media, addiction plays on the dopamine PAP reward pathway as well, and there's other things as well like gambling, if people are addicted to gambling this, the same processes in a happen where when you let's us go back to drugs or alcohol. If you take the alcohol than your brain is GonNa basically get this huge rush of dopamine. It's very abnormally high amount of it, and that's why we experienced it ethnic so much pleasure like it's feels so. We've never felt that good before for right because. Not Natural and That's the the same sort of process happens where the brain then learns Oh. This is a good thing because it's getting this US release of dopamine. If feels the you know, the pleasure recognizes it as a rewarding thing, so you know the brain is like interpreting it as something that you should keep doing more of and if you're somebody who is shrinking repeatedly repeatedly repeatedly that connection is becoming more and more strongly reinforced in the brain. Now the problem is, is that at the same time? The brain is always trying to counter act. Any effect that drug is having on the brain with the exact opposite effect, and so if the brain is creating this immense pleasure is going to counter acted by basically producing the opposite of that, which is Danica or The. Inability to feel pleasure and as A whole. Like! All of this relaxation in the brain produces the opposite which is. Anxiety insomnia and it's not that the brain is trying to make you feel anxious like it's not like. It wants you to feel anxiety, but it's just that it needs to maintain homeo- stasis, which I'm sure you after everybody kind of has heard that term rate is just as of balance instability in the body. Atis quo exactly right at a needs to do that to protect us because if there's all of this. This sort of chaos happening in the brain with these crazy dopamine Russia's the brain can't really like have a clear picture of what's going on in the environment like needs to be sort of at baseline, and not how not have all of this sort of white noise that it can be alert to cues in the environment that are really important for it to notice if there's a threat or something like that so? Any of these sort of like intense. If accepted, the braid is experiencing, it doesn't like that, and so it's going to combat it. In the case of alcoholics say it starts releasing. These chemicals called dinosaur. Finn that basically suppressed like these feelings up. On the only problem is with that. Is that after your? You keep using in using the effects of the dopamine? Start going down, and this is about building tolerance rights. You need to have more or to just get the same effect, but you never really. Do you never get back to that? Same initials sort of high you had and then the withdrawal effects. which are these feelings of anxiety and insomnia? Those start to come on sooner, they start to last longer. They start to feel more and more like. so, what do you do in that state? Of course wanted just drink more because your brain has learned that when you're feeling anxious than you know, life feels like it's dogs you go to. So it's a very very vicious cycle and know the problem. Is that The brain doesn't make the connection that it's actually the alcohol that's creating anxiety because those effects happened much later in time, whereas those pleasurable feelings that the dopamine is producing happens pretty much right away after your Trink, and so the brain you know makes that connection really really quickly, and and so it's just. Keeps on getting reinforced them more and more that you drink and you just it begin becomes so easy to continue that because you're constantly having these literal, sometimes the cravings and tolerance withdrawal cravings and just builds more and more. Years I just need to take first of all. Here's the whole, well-spoken and well. There's I. Just appreciate you so much because I think having the ability to clearly lay things out especially things that are so complicated and so nuanced and. Like scientific. You know it's not. Something simple, but you need that so easy to understand. that. The BAIOCCHI. Can Me is like he? Is Listening. It is fascinating. It's in it's in. It's a tough subject, so it's not to just like. Be All jovial about it. It's a tough thing, but in in a certain way. You know for doing like sharing like how we've dealt with it. There's a certain level of comfort that I'm finding in general with objectivity, in in terms, of science. To remove. Fault and blame any I. Guess like a deficiency of character or that like you're not strong enough, or you're not disciplined enough for. You're not XYZ enough right. Which is the paradigm in which I've operated for a really long time? in any way in any quotable failure of mine that I. Science helps. objectify things is just like okay will. There's an implant in. There's an output there. There are things and systems and mechanisms and neurotransmitters at play that are beyond like your. Simple willpower right like it's not just that easy for you or anybody to just like out the gate. Be Like! Hey, I don't like this. This is not good for me. I'm not GonNa do it anymore. There's actually a lot more at play so that if and when you are not living up to that wish or desire for yourself that it's not a deficiency of your character. it's it's really science there. Things that you're combating that are really reinforce in a very strong way. That's not so simple to be like okay. Well I just don't like this anymore, not going to do it. Yeah, I'm learning so much about that that the willpower pieces like that's really like your conscious mind right, but this is all happening at the subconscious level and has been. I mean it's so deeply ingrained in their by now that in you know subconscious GonNa win over conscious like. Down like manifested as powerful at end, same thing with trauma like I know you're learning a lot about trauma to right is the same thing about how our traumas storm, they form out that subconscious level rate, and so when we're just trying to tell ourselves. Oh, just think positively and you know. Don't you know it's a? We're trying to combat subconscious with conscious and I think sometimes those things are helpful. You know doing positive affirmations than whatnot, but it's not the whole picture, and if that's all you're going to, then you're missing a huge piece of where the problem actually needs to be addressed ray right, so you're just GonNa. Try to address the problem. I don't know what a proper analogy is right now. Because my brain has co which I just say, it's fuzzy, but basically you're. You're using the wrong tools, or you're not using the adequate tools need a sledgehammer, but you're trying to do it with like you know the back of a fork or something like. mean. You need you need you need to know how big or how significant this problem is so that you can address it with the right? Strategy Basically Right so I think that's such a really wonderful scientific understanding of the science behind it and. I guess my question general and I would love to get your thoughts on. It was like I don't know what qualified as addiction. Because I didn't really fully understand the science behind a degree in in of itself right right, there's there's so much terminology. Sidebar like those words which I think, words are important right, and there's words that we miss us all the time like the word literally just going to. This tangent here literally means actually doing something, so if I'm literally banging my fist because I'm actually thinking. When he will literally unlike you're not literally dying you're you're you're not like? philosophically, we could say we're all dying. We're all GONNA. Die Event. You know what I mean. Words. Words matter so. There's been a lot of fast and loose usage of the word addicted right? We use that for like. I'm addicted and Blah, Blah Blah and it's. Like how we obsessed with Blah Blah Blah. And so. Understanding now that we're actually looking at it in a more specific way. I've always just wondered like what qualifies in Addiction. Right is it? Is it a certain level of? Like you're saying like lack of control of it like now continues. Yeah I think addiction is really characterized by that sort of like. uncontrolled. Like, the person uncontrollably like seeks the drugs. Are they engage in those? Like. Harmful levels of ood habit forming behavior is one way that I've read about it It is characterized by that like tolimer tolerance with girl craving cycle. I'm not exactly sure If there is. A scientific standard sort of like the these are the criteria that you have to check off I. Do know that there's something called the diagnostic statistical manual. Mental Disorders, the DSM in that's been around really long time. It's what clinicians and doctors and other professionals us to sort of diagnose somebody as having a mental disorder, whether that's anxiety or what they now call alcohol use disorder used to be called other things like alcohol or whatever. It's. Like all these different mental disorders they they're in this sort of manual that have actual like diagnostic criteria, and if you need like a certain number of them, perhaps, or it's a certain timeframe than they would diagnose you as having that particular thing until you could diagnosed with having say in alcohol use disorder. which also is a continuum like? You could have mild moderate severe. But addiction is a really difficult thing to sort of defined. But it is, it is defined by it is characterized story by that cycle for sure the tolerance, the withdrawal, the craving and letting I didn't mention about the cravings was that on the other thing that the brain learns while it is making the connection between the alcohol and the dopamine, and so this is good in do it is that it also starts storing memories of the sort of like events or circumstances that happen around the tape like the drinking of alcohol, so it's. o'casey, the liquor store I know the alcohols coming i. see the wine bottle like I. Mean oftentimes, of course it's like you see the drug and you know the the drug is coming. It could be things like even the time of day like if you're always having a drink at the end of the night at ten that time comes after so many instances of that the brain comes to know that it's coming. You know that Cav. Lov experiment with the dog about the assassinating dog or like the bell is yeah, so he rings the Bell He. Gives the dog food and the dog obviously start salivating when he sees the food, or she sees food, and then have love. Keep doing this over and over again tell the dog comes associated the ringing of the bell with knowing that it's GonNa receive food so that after so many times Pavlov just has to ring the Bell, and the dog will just start salivating, even if the food isn't even there yet because. Association the same thing happens with brain starts connecting certain shoes, so it could be environmental cues like I said seeing the why for me? It's like I. IF I see people drinking people drinking, and this is why right now I can watch. Every show is where I know. The characters are always drinking like Ymer Scotch, which aren't like my favorite drinks now start like bringing on that association in my brain. It's GonNa tell my brain. Oh, the alcohols coming, because usually that's what is used to right and it'll bring on I mean I don't WanNa really compare myself to the salivating dog, but it kind of feels that way, right? A dissipating that like you're craving that and you think it's. GonNa come, and you can't wait because you know the dopamine. Rush comes after that. While the crazy thing is, is that the brain get so good at learning. What's happening in an adapt so well? That'd actually starts bringing on those opposite effect Seta Talk About which basically like are the withdrawal symptoms of anxiety, or whatever it starts bringing that on as soon as it gets that Q., and it could also be like internal cues like feelings, and so for me, it's like I always drank when it felt depressed or anxious, or whatever, and so also made that connection that when you feel that way you're during the drink is uncommon. You're gonNA feel better right the as as soon as the brain sees that. Happening it's already starting to bring on those counteracting effects because it knows it's going to have to. It knows the whole chain of events gray like out on a calm. It's gonNA produce all of these like crazy effects in the brain, and that it has to like counter You know the next thing, so it already brings that on, and so that means that not only are you like? I mean I'm. Sorry if You're like the salivating dog. I mean it sounds really weird. It's am, but you know what I mean. The analogy, Kogo with it all right. On top of that you're you're also experiencing these very uncomfortable. Sometimes very painful feelings of anxiety of feeling, this lack of pleasure, and the alcoholic hasn't even come yet, but so when you're trying to quit, this can be so hard. 'cause accuser all around you and you're being. Driven to this, very. Depressed, like you know mass state where all you WanNa, do is drink that moment, so it makes the even harder to fight off the air and not go to the thing that the brain has been essentially trained to do to go to as the solution to the problem. Right. That's it's I guess I'm not like map it out graphically my head if you will, which nobody can see, but it's kind of like the dip that you're already in is for like you're in a hole in the whole is cutting. Even worse that you're trying to climb out of. It's not much deeper and darker and. Deeper and Muddier in whatever. That, it was already difficult to begin with. Announce even worse. That's how my life felt. Really! Now. It's. I'm really like I'm I'm I'm going to flood of different coping mechanisms because There's part of me on because I'm trying to be more rigorous than I. Don't want I think it. It started sidebar of like why I care so much about like criteria is because having gone through bouts of depression or having moments in my life. where I do believe I was severely depressed in. Dealt with suicidal thoughts and stuff as a teenager dealing with my abusive acts and things like that and then living in this world, where we're a lot more open about mental health, and we talk a lot more openly about feelings that used to have a lot more stigma in the past. It's kind of like a pendulum, and there's more usage of words. Like saying that I have depression, I have anxiety and you know some people there. There's issues with amongst certain people. Questioning whether something qualifies as immersion or anxiety, right because. kind of like being a little too casual about that also takes away the seriousness of severity, right and the the danger of. Real clinical, not okay Stephen I are. I feel yeah and. I'm sitting here definitely running through my laundry list of different coping mechanisms, and I'm curious and I really really sat and wondered. Where have I had addictive tendencies? 'cause I've definitely had released self-sabotaging self destructive tendencies. I would say amongst them, even anger A. can you be addicted to anger? Can you be addicted to work and like you know there's all these wards workaholic and things like that? You can be addicted tour. Yes, yeah, an even when it was harming me I, just couldn't really stop like. or The other saying. You know all the even when it's harmful to you or other people around you use still will not be able to stop it. That's very characteristic of an addiction I'm really glad you're bringing this up because i. feel like I wrestled with the same thing for a very long time even up until. Literally a few days ago where I would feel like is my problem. Is. This really a problem like. Is this really that bad? You know what I mean because there isn't a lot of guidance out there in terms of like. How do I really know this is an addiction? I'm really dependent on alcohol. Because we just see a lot of like stereotypical images of what addict looks like I and I was always like Whoa I'm not that bad. You know what I mean, but that wasn't very helpful and I would go and. Like Alcohol Addiction Test, and you know see if there was some way for you to like, check off some boxes and put myself in some sort of category. Because that's what we're used to doing to try to make sense of things right, but what I've learned recently in this current exploration in mind is that. You need to take off those boxes. You don't need a professional telling you that you are addicted to alcohol like somehow confirming that for you, it's like. If you feel that, you have a problem with your drinking. if you are probably going and googling like do have a problem. Drinking is probably a sign, but a lot of us do I think do this. We're just like what the hell is going on with us. We kind of get had the sense that there's something wrong that you know. We probably should be cutting down that you know and I would say this to myself out very often where I was like I really wish that I didn't have to always turn alcohol to solve. My problems 'cause very cognizant that I was doing that. But if you are already thinking that like that is honestly enough for you to you know kind of identified that as being problem, problematic use of drinking, or whatever drugs or whatever seeing it as you may or may be addicted to even have determined that way. But you know I? Think that that's enough for you to just even take on expiration. Tikka pause or you know, just look into it more. Educate yourself and stuff and you might find I. Mean I am quite I can say one hundred percent positivity that my brain did become addicted in that way because of the way that I drank and I think it because it was so normalized for me at the time, and I was around a pretty prevalent drinking and drug culture that I sort of thought. Thought it was normally do I kinda tell that my personal drinking was a little bit more like severe than other people, but there wasn't anything for me to kind of look at, but I have found that in a what I just Kinda need to look at myself at what's happening in my life, and I can one hundred percents a now that even when there's other people telling me that might drinking dozen problematic. That, note. I have a problem like I have I still use drinking problematically at it's enough for me to. You know really address situation and to take a hard look at it so I I really think it's an individual sort of decision on that they need to come to. I really I really appreciate you saying that I think. We're looking for. A measuring stick right or some sort of verification process to know because I think behind that. You know the psychoanalytical part of me and what I'm recognizing in my own self in terms of facing my own issues or like. This whole radical accountability and responsibility kicked them on that I really honestly. It has been one of the hardest things in my whole life, and it will probably continue to be but. the value in it right? The the turnaround of like what it is added to my life in being able to face that it's really made me Kinda. Just step back and recognize. As a human being not even like Jean like putting myself in some special category like no I'm just a person right as any person I think. I would imagine that I. Persons like? Jumping at the bit unless there's some kind of masochist. Nothing listening to explore, but like nobody's really like jumping up and down trying to figure all the things that are wrong with them. If anything were naturally inclined to be. If somebody were to like, hold a mirror up to all your ugly bits. You be a little bit defensive or like It's protection right. You're trying to kind of protect yourself from the pain of having to look at these very uncomfortable, unpleasant shirt on becoming parts of you right because if you might see that in another, you might have some level of judgement or some level of. You know. Why are you that way in a why? Why aren't you better and then having that? Turn back on you and be like? Why am I this way? It's a lot digest right. I just leaving space. That's what I've been really trying to give myself. Some grace about an this is an. This is over years. Girl like I and. It's. been a very incremental process to like genuinely look at all of everything and be. Truly forgiving and truly like compassionate to myself. As critical as I can be to the outside world. I am like I double down on myself. Good Yeah I hear you. I know it's been processed to like you're saying to like. Pick it apart. Step back from it until not make it all about like this. This. Again like personal character situation, just look at in terms of maybe more like data. Just like tends Deniro's. What happens to brains when you introduce x and y into the equation. And you know as a person what you're not super, you're not. You're not an X. men. You're not frigging mutant like the person like you are. You are just as susceptible as vulnerable to X. Y. or Z. as the next person exactly yeah, totally resonate with that, and that has been. It has been very empowering for me to learn about the whole neuro signs of addiction and understanding what happened to my brain, and why am I still like this all right? Can you can definitely go to that place of like Oh my God I'm so fucked up Oh my God. What is wrong with me? You know and I did that was sort of like my dominant south narrative for so long right but. This is very empowering. Because you do realize just how powerful this addictive drug is, and don't blame myself at all forgetting into it, because when I look at all the struggles that was having the time it really felt like there was nothing else to turn to write. It was just like this was my escape. This was my saving grace end for better or for worse, it was a really felt like the only thing that was going to put a pause in my life and released some of legs to crazy stress. I was going through at the time so I don't blame myself for that. At all and I think. Having this knowledge now also does as you were saying like helps to relieve some fat shame, and did just have a little bit more self compassion, because I always say this that shame isn't even the issue at hand like there is an underlying issue there. That is the thing that needs to be worked on for me the addiction Maybe relationship issues or whatever, but when you have shame like overlying that on top, while you're spending all your energy and thought process like just being so consumed by those events. You know often awful awful feelings of shame that you can get to the real word you know. Yeah so I think the more that we can do to kind of move that shame along jet Leeann as quickly as possible. You know like it's going to always come up for us because we're human, but I think the more that we kind of learn to deal that on the more that we can kind of move aside. And actually just get to like the thing at hand that we're or China were gone because that's already hardman. I love how you put. That is so real. Real because like you're totally right. There is the root thing. There's the issue at hand. Mature like just swimming slash drownings. Like hiding off. Other garbage. Which is shame and guilt and. Just anger and frustration. And lack of motivation, even in like hopelessness in like there's just so many different I'm just thinking of like. Thinking of like the Blob I'm thinking. Are you know what I mean? It's like literally sticking to you and it's holding you back from reaching this initial destination, which is I. Want to start addressing the thing that made me that brought me here. You're not even able to get there because you're trying to get through the sticky black oppressive like what are consuming thing that's already in. That's a huge obstacle in the way, so I love that you framed it. That way I think that's. I resonate with that a lot I think that's a very. Real way to put it an curious like modern cultural aspect part because you know we've. My podcast has become largely an Asian American haven of discussing all these cultural cues and traumas. I. Sometimes can be very jokey about, but you know it's very real, and it's very very relevant and just putting that out there disclaimer I joke and laugh, but I I. It's coming from A. I'm just saying because. So many of us have gone through this. But. I'm curious. What your thoughts and feelings like what your analysis has been at that because for me, is korean-american person I've had a lot of issues witnessing. This really really rampant. Like just rank as like drunk AF mulcher. My entire life, and how normalize, it is to be just completely fucked up. That's like a normal part of life, but that's how it's supposed to be and I personally. I drank to fit in and I drink because I felt like literally as lame as it sounds to be hard of like the mainstream culture to be cool, that's not lame. That's everybody. Like look back on. How much alcohol consumed a in terms of financial I'm sorry just like girlfriend. We're trying to make a dollar here and I'm like how much money I wasted on alcohol, and how much like quality of life? I didn't feel good. I'll get sleepy I'm very big lightweight. You know so. How many bad decisions I made like the actual cost in the consequences of participating something that I didn't even really like to begin with rates that makes me feel shameful, and that makes me feel cringe in like. I'm like Oh God like by. Heading over it, but yeah, in retrospect, it's all a little bit. But I'm curious like white year. What your conclusions on what are your thoughts have been about all of that. It's very relevant. I'm glad you say that. Because I was curious to know like was was learning only one going through this in my circle of Asian, friends and acquaintances, because it felt like it was so prevalent, both drinking drug culture and What I try to look for people like speaking out on this I'm like nobody's talking like crazy. Here was the only one that you know. Kinda hang came out of it like this, but obviously I know that. In our particular culture, it's like. We. Don't talk about that stuff, right? There is a Lotta Shaven. There's just this sort code of silence. I feel but for me. When I was like in high school was when I started. Sort of developing a group of friends who were mostly Chinese Chinese Vietnamese actually didn't have a lot of crane fronts going up, but it's the whole Asian community. Is Very connected in Toronto, so if you are somebody who is going out clubbing and partying late you, you were just like you. Just kinda knew everybody by like however, many degrees of separation like everybody was just connected with everybody and you. You saw the same thing as you're saying. It's just everybody getting shut as going clubbing all the time. Asian I don't know if this was for you, but I went drinking a lot at karaoke bars like either Chinese character bars sometimes Korean where. You're you're playing a lot of drinking games? Like with Diet or with Judy? Do that kind of stuff knee up. Again it's. It's a standard saying. I guess it's like even an unspoken thing that there wasn't even like. Did you do that? It's like well. It wasn't even like God. Did you play? Yeah, I mean and that's. That's very telling of what kind of culture that was. yes, I was getting into that and you know what I actually started drinking a little bit later than a lot of the people I knew around me I think I was maybe even eighteen and the legal age. Here is nineteen I. Know It's like twenty one for all right Yeah, but I'm sure everybody there to start drinking a lot sooner, but I just remember having like fake. Fake ID's to go into the clubs stuff, we would always be going to these Asian Karaoke bars and outscoring out like all the time like even during the week like during school I was going out, I was clubbing like two times at least during the weekend and I was just tricking a lot like a law I actually have had a pretty high tolerance for a very petite Asian. Girl. Yeah so I drank a lot. WAS BUILDING UP. That tolerance was around. Just a lot of people doing the same thing and other people are doing even heavier drugs and stuff, and so it was just so normalized for me on even used some people who were like dealing and whatnot, so all of that just felt very like status quo. I found a sense of. Belonging that, because while unlike you actually loved drinking, and there was a lot of things happening in my life on. especially as a teenager with my parents, separating my my mom, my sister, my sorry, my mom's sister and myself have moved out on our own, and we are on welfare, so you know like during high school I'm just trying to be a normal student. I was also working a lot to up. Support and I was very angry. And hurt by what happened with my parents. Separation I dealt with that very very badly. I was starting to date a string of very terrible guys. And so by the time I got to my first SIP Iowa think was sort of like you know ready for that sort of escape from my reality is just a very very stressed out. Depressed individual cry ally. It's like you know. I was always getting into conflict with my mom and I which to this day. I still feel very very guilty about, but I'm working on that Yeah, so it was just it was really a very challenging time in my life at alcohol. At that moment he came in fell like my saving grace. Wa And that's such it's. It's so because these are coping mechanisms. I mean for starters before it ever evolves to becoming an addiction. I mean we're just looking for outs as human beings I feel like it's just. We're trying to find some sort of comfort and. A relief from the pain or from the anger for the turmoil, and so in that way it makes sense like you're. It's introduced to you as something of a relief. It's it's It's it's a comfort. It's not dangerous, even if theoretically you're educated through whatever dare program there was. Or Mad Lake Mothers. James Against we all of like, and there's so many different ways that people have you know. Try to mitigate these behaviors like that was like a traumatic. Show your friends dead on campus. That literally happened in school. You know. Every ten minutes there's a teenager who dies from drunk driving. And people were like crying and I wasn't as personally affected by is kind of sad, but like those tactic was. People are trying to like the older adults who know are trying to prevent you from even initially participating in this behavor, because there is a slippery slope, and you can get into that peer pressure, and then just self medicating behavior. But it's just like in a very simple way. I think it's. There's a needs to be said like. Yeah, we turn to because you're like Oh. This is going to help me feel better. That's what you do it. It's not because you're like I'm trying to be bad, even though there are some really the rebellious children out there. Simply, because you were told not to enough personality type thing though is mean with fighting smoking I was. Rebellious kid and I just wanted to do things that I think felt like I was breaking out of like my various shelter. Childhood like I hated being sheltered I wanted to go in experience. The world's end I. You know I mean it's kind of sad. That I say that because I did it definitely go experience, the world I feel like I lost my innocence so young, and I know I just had to grow up so quickly and. Like. But filial hundred percent I mean that's literally why Miami Two story exists. So my, that's what I've recognized in myself. In certain ways just seeing. Like objectively like I, don't I? Don't think I have an inclination for substance abuse like I've. I've smoked and drank in none of those ever released stuck to me. Those warrant might particular vices, but my vice was men and my advice was. Dating or romance or sex or like just that part of me, you always. Longed for more fulfillment and. I mean that's that's really the way I rebelled. So you know that that's why I'm so curious and. Baffled at like how expensive like human behavior is because there's so many different ways to self medicate that you can take anything link when it kind of goes into that addictive territory. You don't have control and becomes like an involuntary. you become a slave to it? And that's really real an and can come in so many different forms, and I think us even having this conversation about expanding what those definitions are what? Categories of addiction can exist even beyond the. Stereotypical of like substances. or sex or like I mean like there's so many more people that talk about like porn addiction or they talk about. Like like irritating with gambling or with even just work and money like. So many ways right? There's so many firms that takes an in general I think that the common denominator is that it because it's you're seeking relief from something initially, and then it just spirals a bit out of control so that now. You it's not a choice anymore. It's like you needed in order to deal some semblance of normalcy. Yeah, exactly and there are people who are more susceptible to becoming addicted to whatever it is you become addicted to. And half of it is about like half about half his genetic factors, and they don't know exactly which specific factors like there's so many different genes that are involved in that might contribute a little bit ear, and there people have many genes that might contribute like protective after so that all is a bit of a complex explorer, but we know it's about fifty percent genetic in the fifty percent environmental which also. A very complex thing, but you can look at it. There's this guiding Dr a D. Jack who does work in this sort of recovery fields and he looks at it in terms like four factor, so there's biological. So? That's things like you're very impulsive. You're sort of like a sensation seeker, risk taker. You have a very high tolerance to punishment. You might actually be somebody like if you've had. Parents or grandparents who have addictions you are more likely to become addicted while, and there might be certain things that Kinda get passed down genetically to for that. And then the second factor is like psychological stuff and I. Guess that could be things like our traumas. inside the depression that type of thing, also the more I learn about trauma, the more understanding I think it kind of like blurs over into the biology kind of piece of it again, not an expert, but on that, and then the third thing is environmental, so you know things light being like having access to these things on being around sort of culture that really promotes glorifies they alcohol on is that and then the fourth spirituality which was interesting, one when I heard that because. You know it's not to say that like. If you believe in God, are you? You are religious that that's going to kind of like. Preclude you from becoming addicted to something, but I can see could be a protective factor on I am not religious. But I find that the more that I do kind of. Have a spiritual practice of. That that does actually serve as some sort of protective factors. So you know for me. It's really like connecting with what I would refer to. As like my higher self, my intuition offer you WanNa term like maybe some people call source, or you know. They just understand that there was kind of a a bigger thing out there for me. It's all about sort of serving this aspect of me. That is higher than like my ego or my right. Yeah and so that part of me is like the more that I've become connected with that through all of the software. That I've been doing the past few years. You know it's like even something like the fact that I've really become connected with my values honesty that is something that is so important to me on that I actually look at this will exploration of looking at my current relationship with alcohol as like. Being like being honest basically. Honest is not just if you ask me a question, I'm not gonNA. Lie To you, and if I ask you a question I expect you to not to me, it's it's when the question is not even asked that you are going. Say the the hard thing you know that needs to said and something that saying to yourself. You know you know that can be like. Sometimes, the hardest thing is you're mentioning like even earlier on right, and so here I was doing all of these honest things you. I've walked away for a minute. Your relationship with like my yawn, say like before I was supposed to get married I've walked away from innate your career that I. Said blood, sweat and tears over to go and. Not Not, even really know what was going to do is just like I need to live more of my life in nature. I know that that's what makes me happy and I made that honest decision and here I am making all of these artists, decisions and I think ties southlake. while. I'm still using alcohol to like numb. Certain things that I don't WanNa feel, too. You know and and I was like well. If I just keep doing that for the rest of my life is going, GonNa be this part of me. That is not being lived as honestly as I could be living it and that. was like boom now. A No. We're not doing that. No no, because you set that you, you're honest with yourself and were able to identify that because I think that that's that's a very conscientious part of you. That I really respect, because again a lot of our lives, and there's a whole thing of like this awakening and a consciousness that is so scary, but it's like really fulfilling in a lot of ways because. When a lot of things I look! In retrospect, a lot of things are done on autopilot right. They're driven by our ego by our subconscious, and so even the dilemmas that we get ourselves into it was. You're not trying to get into these sticky situations, but you've got there and like. That's why I think you have to face. You have to face the music. You have to face the consequences of said life that you were living. Re like what's wrong with this picture May. Accept responsibility like I contributed to it I'm not a victim of life. Life didn't happen to me. I participated in the creation of this will, then conversely like like why can also participate in the creation of the life that I really want to be honest about that and be honest like hey, if I want this that means X. needs to stop this news to no longer be the driving thing, my crutch whatever you WANNA call it right and that's a tough. That's an it can be that simple like we're seeing a very like well, that's all you have to. Because you're saying like even these like the fact that it's fifty percent cultural right like. To understand that. mathematically is really really significant I. Think being able to say hey, even if we're like ballpark in saying fifty percent is genetic. That's real because that means you're you're going? You're maybe fighting against your DNA, which is a very big thing, and so then you just have to plan accordingly, but the other fifty percent which is large large part controllable component going on in our lives. That's a big. That's a big deal and it's a big thing to tackle right because. When I just think of how many times even now like even during coronavirus I'm not gonNA name names, but I was asked to participate in a drinking game zoom party to support the Asian community okay. I was like. Wait a second. You know repeatedly comes up because I've already established myself like. Hey, doesn't make me happy I. don't care if it ostracizes me makes me be like the one out that I'm not participating I've learned over time to own it and just be like yo I'd really rather not sometimes. If I feel like it, also giving myself to space like if you WANNA cocktail like have one Gobert. But I also know that comes with like that means I have to plan the driving situation. I might get sleepy I might gain weight. Is that worth the calories really hard to save fat like hail knows it usually say no, but on occasional see yes, but that cultural component is very real because. The things that you have within your control are bigger than you might think like all is fine, then I won't. What are you gonNa do like suddenly not. Hang out with everybody that you hung out with before right unlike now altered their entire culture of how they like to enjoy time, which is with wine. Bourbon you know what I mean like. And suddenly you have to remove yourself from your entire normal life. Because you've made that decision, it's it is a big deal. I'm not saying it's impossible, and I'm not trying to make the case that it's impossible. It's just. It's it's giving space to recognize that these are big big things, so it's not going to be perfect I think I'm trying to make more space for that that it's not gonna be perfect or solvable in one fell swoop. Right only. Yeah, yeah, thank you for saying that and you know. I, honestly am a little bit nervous for win. self-isolation is over and a half to go back to socializing because. It's GonNa be hard for me like I know this on because drinking, especially as everywhere like it is such an ingrained part of our culture and. You know part of. Many of our social events in situations that it's it is pretty much inescapable right and. To the point about changing your environment, this is something that I had to do. In order to even start moving in that direction of trying to at least get a better hold of my drinking on, so I also had a situation like yourself. Also, of course, it wasn't exactly the same, but of being in a relationship with a very verbally emotionally abusive boyfriend, when I was in my early twenties, and and I became very isolated, and was only kind of in his bubble of like is social circle and stuff, and that whole crew was much into drinking all the time and also drugs, and they were largely Asian as well and And that kind of went on for. I was with him for I, think two and a half years about and then I broke up with him. And I was still kind of seeing him off, and on for another over a year, and during that time I was also I. Mean I moved out of the house at Nineteen, which was when I graduated high school, because at the time when I graduated, we still had something that was essentially like a great thirteen, so I graduated when I was nineteen, I moved out right away because it's so much conflict with my mom at home, and I took a year off before starting Undergrad and was continuously drinking with the boyfriend was going through that hell and on. was you know very much getting deeper and deeper into this sort of like party live in drinking and starting to try like other drugs and stuff. And after we broke up I, was kind of like jumping around to sort of like shitty housing situation after shitty housing situation, which also made for. A very difficult. Time to like Chai and Regroup and to have some sort of peace and like a safe space. where I could Kinda try to figure out what's even what am I gonNa do I was just constantly in survival mode. I was still very much having like tons of financial struggles and just working my ass off all the time. In undergrad kind of like failing a little bit I was still I was still maintaining my grades by. I had always been very like academically smart at night. Always one of the top people in my class and stuff like that, but when I was dating this guy, I mean some of the things you would say to me. Is Like your fucking stupid? fucking idiot, fucking pathetic loser in all of. Of these things, which of course like degraded, my sense of like intelligence, and were just so broken down by the end of it, and with everything else in my life that was going on that you know. I was just turning to alcohol more and more I. Am Angie started drinking at home by myself. Light pretty much every day ahead, raging insomnia I was stressed out. You know all these things. and. was when I vary slowly started moving away from that whole life, and those peers that Kinda kept me sort of you know involved in that lifestyle that I could even begin to even see what a different sort of world could look like because I started dating this guy who didn't come from that sort of you know social sphere and I remember one time he was like you know you don't have to drink every weekend. And I was like the fuck. You honestly so mind blowing that he would see that I was like. How the hell would I have any fine? If I was drinking like this was how deep I was into it I. Know Right, but. Slowly, but surely with him. Things kind of like in my life started stabilizing a bit I. Think the first two years even I was with him so I was still drinking quite heavily and part of the reason why I was drinking because I was having anxiety like almost every day over this relationship, because I had such a huge mistrust of men at that point and I literally everyday thought. This guy was cheating on me 'cause I, couldn't. Couldn't imagine a guy, actually being respectful and trustworthy enough to you know, cheat me well so every like be having these anxiety attacks and I would often drink that home by myself like to just try and like calm down the the war that was raging on inside of my head, so he would definitely like a very slow process than I do just also want to point out that things like my housing. Housing situation eventually, becoming more stable and having like more financial security like all of these these things were really important so I just want to not minimize that as being like a really important contributor. It's not just all like my individual will, and you know like you know. Sometimes you also need things around you to be going okay, and sometimes those things are a little bit harder to sort of have for yourself. Yourself in your life, but it is definitely. I think a very holistic approach, and that's why I'm very much like you can't just tell. People just think more positively. Just you know if you if you just believe it will happen y'all sometimes, people are in light dire situations in their life that you know you need a little bit more support, ray right and there's different strategies to depending really like kind of. I mean I do I do really think. The compassionate part of me appreciates anybody's. Desired to one even offer advice. I think that's them wanting things to be better. So that sentiment is appreciated yet. Also making blanket statements for advice, Glue Super Dangerous, because it can also be very detrimental to the person hearing it if it does really just doesn't apply because based on where that person, isn't it? It sucks. It's it's it's A. It's a catch way two. It's a tough situation that you want support and somebody taking time to hear you out, give you advice is very supportive, so as not necessarily, say everybody. Let's stop talking to each other 'cause. You'RE GONNA get it wrong. Like that's like the part of like the listening in the empathy and really just being present to understand in humble to offer advice, but understand that that device may be wrong on order. Just really hear somebody out because their situation and whatever they're even volunteering to share with you. I would I would probably safely assume that it's just a fraction of the real picture right and there's so much more depth to it. Which is why I do think getting. A clinician like someone who is clinically trained and equipped to deal with all of those layers rate that is their job in their specialty to be able to walk you through. That is so important and this gun from someone that was resisting therapy for so long and I'm very grateful because I'm like Oh. My God, I made it this far because I have such wonderful support systems in my life, right I have my friends I have my family I'm so freaking lucky in the mount of trauma and all the. Insanity I went through as a as a teenager. There are people who've gone through less and have you know? Honestly worse outcomes ray objective like they're not even able to be employed are all interconnected right like you are dependent on alcohol or substances or addicted to all these other things or just have self destructive behavior. How can you hold down a job? How can you have a healthy relationship? You can't because they're all interconnected right so for that. I'm enormously grateful that I've had the support that I have had, but then I also recognizing. There's really I had to getting. Not even like the complete help, but like that component of help that re I really did need, and now that I have it now that I dropped my ego I kind of had reached that limit right I had to be pushed to this limit, and that's what we're talking about. In terms of like dealing with a breakup and losing something so significant. And feeling like I'm clinging on like by the edge of my fingernails. Literally how it felt where I was like I'm holding onto my sanity and my ability to survive. It felt like in that moment that I'm holding on by the edge the very very edge and I can really like I. Don't know what's GonNa Happen. If I can't hang on, but sometimes you get pushed to that limit to say I need help. I need help. And that was it for me. Some I hope that people can be encouraged to not have to reach that dire of a place and that dark of a place where you really you know, there are a lot of bad outcomes in ways that. Things can fall apart and unravel in a very bad way. and I've dealt with that, too. I lost one of my dearest friends, which I've shared on this podcast. To him. He was a opioid addict and I was very. I. Don't know if I was dealing with this therapy, but I don't know if I was like willfully ignorant because there were so many signs that I. Kind of feel like I chose not to acknowledge, but also he hit a lot for me, but just have someone so close to me. Take his life. In in light of the darkness that he was finding himself in a really long time. And that hurts me as a friend to find all this out afterwards aftermath and like. Just replaying allows. There's a lot that I'm processing because of that. I don't ever want anybody to deal with that I. don't I don't want people to stay in that darkness, you know. So, it's like. To talk about it and to figure out ways to. Get Out of it. I really still ended the day after all the starkness. I've experienced a witness in like no is out there. I, really really where I choose to put my energy and focus is on our ability to overcome. It's on our drive and are like stubbornness to survive. I, think is really beautiful, too. Hard as hell. And that's what I see in you to. John is like I. Just appreciate that you're. You're so y willing to go there. It's willingness. It's courage. It's like boldness its determination. It's like. No honey were not going backwards were only we're going to go through this? We're going to be on the other side, and that is very very inspiring to me. I just want to let you know that cruciate and you're inspired me to, and you know I have found so much comforting hearing about your own stories in trials in John's throughout all your ikast episode. So you know I love that and I feel like you'd bring hope, but like even while you're talking about the hard things, you know opening up that necessary conversation than always having massive like your. We're GONNA. Get through this seat. Bray like people are so fucking resilience resilience. It's crazy. Things that you carry i. Imagine, coming out of. That life of just. Like I honestly at some point felt like there was gonna be nothing bad for myself. You know as we're getting all these like. Low paying jobs that had nothing to do with my studies I. Stinking I was like you know this. Guy And you know I didn't have any examples in my life at affects the pointing of life how my life could be any better, I honestly falling, I was just destined to stay at the bottom. And then I think about the things that I've been able to do. Like do my master's program and graduate light at the top of my class and going. Rick engine my career in volunteer for organizations helping. People and you know just go and do like music again and you know travel and. In just y'know like that's. He's he and his off roll like there are some people who are still stuck in that. Space of like you know not being able to see how their life could be more full enrich, and you know to their fullest potential, and yeah, raise my fucking hard, and it's why I do speak out in I'm more than willing to share my story because I if that dislike helps any person in that state know that there are other things that are possible for you than yeah, it's totally worth it because I felt so alone back then when I was there and I had nobody to. To Turn I. Social Media was not a big thing at that time, and wasn't there just wasn't ready. Access to you know seeing the people going through similar things, and certainly weren't people who looked like me you now, and that's why when I need without your podcast, and that was like what two and a half years ago I and seeing people who've speaking on their life experiences in going through things that I was, and so I was like Oh. My God like Log Manziel is flying Lanka's. So honored like I entrust me there is. There's a slew of people behind me. That encouraged me to speak out to like I always had a burning desire. Because I was like I can't be the only one that cares about this. Because the stuff, I care about I care pretty fiercely about that, even of itself felt very intimidating and very naked and vulnerable to be like I don't want to be out here alone. Just like ranting and raving and essentially being judged or being irrelevant, or whatever whatever it is like having all these fears and self doubt so it's really. Feels miraculous, but I just appreciate the fact that it's been in any way helpful to you or to anybody to feel less alone because I definitely felt that in spades as as a teenager I still feel it from time to time as an adult, but the way that I look at my aloneness now now that I have a better sense of self is at that aloneness can be strength to. And so that loan aloneness to equal loneliness ran I think loneliness is such a huge component of. These feelings of depression or anxiety or hopelessness that feed into self medicating behaviors that. Feed into destructive. Habits that feed into can downward spiral right, so it's what I like to step. Things back definitely. Just looking behaviorally and objectively what are what are tweaks that we can do that are manageable. That are you know it's to be scrappy. You know like that's the that's the fighter in me I guess, or that's the even the entrepreneur like okay. We have zero dollars. How do we make this work right and it's always a way in and anything You know people can feel. Oh I don't have money to get therapy or XYZ. I think there's so many therapeutic means that we can do that can serve as an interim solution. And and if you set a goal of like, I would like to have enough money to afford therapy like right now. We're not swimming money. It's virus time but I- i- making some money for voice, work and I personally prioritize. I'm going to set aside part of this budget. As a necessity of mine in order to stay afloat and be a sustainable is a instead of like looking at my therapy as a luxury. No, I'm going to set aside I, WanNa make sure I have the funds to cover that because to me I look at my therapy as like a key. A key practice of mine that's helping me survive this well and continue to make money to thrive and to build my startup, and to continue putting out content. You know what I mean I look at the input I look at the output to me. It's worth the investment, right. But even before that I hope that people are exercising like just going for a walk I go for a walk as often as possible and just being in nature, obvious social distancing, but things like that are listening to music that makes me feel good, and he'll alive and joyful like I. Don't Care How cheesier anybody thinks I am. I Love Celine Dion and I blast her until my neighbor complaints because she helps my soul feel better. And you who need them a fire? What those things are for you? which is awesome and I think that you now everybody's so different rights, whatever the grounding actresses or those things that you might need to do to start through some issues that might be facing are like those male different for you right so right? You can is really an expiration process and a lot of people don't I guess maybe intentionally dive into that. Amu- foreign thing I think things about mental health. They are just kind of starting to become more talked about in the social narrative, still people. It's not really a fame and I know you're really into it and I've been so much into myself. Elements therapy is absolutely one hundred percents. Nats orange me like you said some people may or may not be there right, but it's still there. It's always other things that depending on where you're. Comfortable with on could help you to whatever it is I just calm. Calm down your nervous system when you're feeling anxiety, right? Yeah what to do when you're feeling. Though sends loneliness. I mean I do. I will say that while all just talk personally by I. Know that. There has had to be some very work on the has had to be therapy and. Reprocessing like a lot of the towns that have happened in my past as a big part, our as it has been for, you like just wouldn't be completed. I were just doing kind of these other tests. Self care purposes which are also very important for me journaling. It might be I. Don't do Meditation Convinced at night when I go to sleep. Eliza to medication. Those kinds of things are also great, but sometimes I feel like going into the shadows, though to sneak in kind of tie things that aren't as sort of like feels uplifting away her, but is also likes so necessary for utilized I'd move past the things that are other than just she coming up like it will kind of. It sells. Whatever does her. You might be anger for you might be like depression, and might be those feelings of loneliness, and that is the piece in the harvest. I think for me to tackle even as much light changed externally in those environmental sensor, changing for me a lot of those sort of inner psychological stuff. Still very much there and as you said, it's such a process. Like accepting that in being like this, this may even be lifelong, but knowing and being optimistic by the more that you work on your life, I swear the easier it gets. It really does and. And that's been something that had to really work on to manage sort of like the cravings and stuff that will still come up with alcohol, because as I mentioned from light, beginning song cast like Some of my cues are very much like the feelings of depression anxiety, in whatever and always I was always turned out all during those times eighty as I kind of like older, you know like started developing the coping mechanisms and whatnot i. kind of turn away from alcohol. Sometimes, it's still very much there as like my trigger so. I. GotTa? Work on that, too, so it's a lot of things, but I feel really really old on optimistic that it's all worth it because I've already seen like how much good has already come out of and a diving into that deeper war? I'm so glad to hear that genus. That's so beautifully. Put Your your eloquence is like next level, and it's really really inspiring and. I hearing that I, it feels like such a wonderful validation of. My spirituality practice that I've been doing as well just to know that. It's something that you really value that you've implemented and seeing results from I feel the same way and It's very encouraging is just encouraging to know that and again I I never assume at this point you know having years of experience of like trial and error, and all the consequences like you're saying again why I feel like it's so true that like you. Okay, so you don't WanNa address it now. That's coup. That's like your prerogative also. Good luck. Not going anywhere. You know what I mean. I had way too many iterations of unaddressed trauma unaddressed issues that I have essentially put on the back burner for a number of reasons. I'm a busy girl. I got a lot of things to do. And and it's manifested regardless and reared its ugly head, and it's just like you know that's life it's going to. You gotta learn the lessons until you can learn them right till that lesson is actually learned addressed and resolved. You GonNa keep learning them so. To me, it's just like it's a also where I'm appreciating impatience by anybody time for the like I have things. I WanNa do I have happiness that I want experienced there. I, WanNa have a family I want to spend time with my parents. Before their eventually gone, and even accepting in the most like bittersweet, you know Morbid way our time is very limited on earth right, and even me trying to come to terms with the fact that as I get older time keeps speeding up. You know what I mean it's it's flying by, and I really would love to spend as much of my limited energy that get getting older. It's just like. I can't I can't hang like I used to. I would love for more of those minutes to be spent in a positive way you know and that like if the cost of having that, if the price I have to pay to have more of that awesome, peaceful, joyful experience in my life, if the price I have to pay, is some uncomfortable partisan of like therapy and. Meditation and like doing things that actually have become like my favorite parts of my day. With, The work quote. has become my haven. It has become my joy to like. Sit and breathe and take a breath and like. Visualize myself on a cloud or whatever? It is that I have to do that. Used to be like the coping thing, and now it's like no. This is my fillets. Leave me alone. Like just that has been super super real. It has been mind boggling that it was always that simple quote unquote but I had to go through all these things to get there, and it's never gonNA stop. It's not like I fixed it. And now it's done All these things have been so eye-opening to me and I genuinely. I don't know I'm just about efficiency right now. That's why I went to hypnotherapy. I was like Yo. Go Straight to the unconscious. I don't even want. It was so great. It was so great and You know it's not the end all be all it's like Oh, you do hidden if they're being fixed, but it is very powerful I. DO Meditations I do of frequencies? I listened to specific by neural beats in frequencies. Because for me in my a scrappy entrepreneur like efficiency mindset, unlike y'all go straight to the root of it like. Let's just clear all out right now. I'm not trying to waste any time here, so I'm like. Take no prisoners do all the things what do I need to? I need sage do I need A. Halo, Sato. What do I need to do? Put Salt in the corners whatever I have to do. I'm trying to clear this negativity out. I really want to resolve this because I really want to be happy and in the process I'll continue to have these conversations with people like you so that we can support each other 'cause. It's GONNA be. It's a journey, right? It's a it's a process. I feel you so much like you don't even know how much that resonates like I'm almost thirty eight right now. I feel like I've lived. Already and. And I'm exhausted. Outreach one more time. You know what? I do like I don't WanNa. Listen Nets. You know the next go around with all of that baggage with all of those. Really. UNHELPFUL PATTERNS I don't want to point to the same cycles. Shit is hiring and it's. It's like you're saying why honestly do feel? The time is running out and it. Isn't it a morbid way, but? I'm just like life is really short I personally. Feel like this. Is You only chance I have? But you'll even if you believe in the afterlife by you still live this way. We're not done here so. And I. And after doing all the reflecting and understanding how a lot of those things in the ways that I have been offering art release. Have led me to more gain regional. Right all right so like you said I am willing to do this. Massively uncomfortable were and I mean that may mean I'm going to Syria time where life doesn't really feel. Afraid might even feel a little worse than it might. That might have been if I wasn't in because I to just going on with my life having drake every once in a while and stuff like that right, not Masinga all of the the same feeling feels is I don't have coping mechanism by only what is necessary for me to come out on the other side and then move forward with. A little more freedom and Happiness and these things that I honestly feel like I haven't really truly experience especially in my adult life, and even in my teenage loans and I'm like Y'all I deserve that I owe it to myself to to do that. Because as you said you know may not be your fault that these things happen to you at traumas happened to you that we even got into addiction. But. Now that we're here. We have a responsibility to ourselves, Tunisia Address it do what we can and I say that very very like impassioned ladies. I of all people always want to say like if you're not ready to to do X. Z. and you're not ready. You're not there because there was once on a time where I was not ready I wasn't ready for their young wasn't ready to like base my in south night and I know how scary that can be. If you kind of go into the wrong way of feel or into it like that could actually be traumatizing itself, but Yeah I. Do think that we do have a lot of sort of. Agency in how we can now go about these things how we can now work towards like learning a lot of the patterns, and like you said building like a better life ourselves. I love it I love it so much. I love that you use the word agency because that's something that I'm really definitely. Sitting in in an empowering way, and that's one of the things I really want to empower others with is to remind everyone of their own agency in their life, and that it is within your power within your choice to do things even on a very microscopic level in incremental level and in iterative format like you know, just do it Lather, Rinse repeat your going to get it right on the first time, but you can keep working towards things that really do make your life better and. It's not just about like you. The individual for me I also would I want to also add to what I was saying earlier is that. It's not just for me to like feel me to feel happy medium joy. It's also the consequence that I have a lot of other people along the way, and that's something that I carry with me and that I'm trying to work on forgiveness forgiveness thing is a really really huge component of the work I'm doing, and it's very hard, but. I. Don't want to carry that weight with me. Either and I want to forgive myself. I WANNA forgive others for hurting me and I want to genuinely take responsibility for the pain that I inflicted on others because I really just want to live in harmony, and as Zippy Doodo Koumba that sounds that is my ideal warm of happiness is harmony, harmony and collaboration, and you know not clever with the K., even though I love collaboration with a K.. Lower with the see like working with others being interdependent with them, and not having so much pain and drama and conflict and you know. Further trauma trauma that I'm inflicting on somebody and others like I have done things to hurt so many people and I don't like again in. Nobody got time for that I don't want to be that girl right so i. just love that you note that and remind me and us all that are listening that there's so much agency that we do have even when it feels like we don't buy. We're just like. Again the slave to the thing that we're like combating, but we can be patient, and we can be determined and like like. You're saying like we'll get. We'll get through it. Time and it doesn't always pretty I mean are. Crying allots these days. In late, so I have been reading or just over a month now, the reason why does all even came about because as as I was going into south isolation more mode, I was Kinda worried about myself. Like thing is that in the last few years? Mine drinking has a looked as on problematic as it did. When I was like a T. The teenager to my mid twenties I was literally going out like you know. Know sometimes I've every day of the league like going drinking, and then during all mama fight every day. Thing like my life started to now look like that anymore, but I recognize that I was still you know like not always able to just have the one when I said it was going to have the one and that. Sometimes you know jingly much. How might blackouts induced shit and hurt? You know people would stay. In dead and stuff. In that it was very much little. Triggered by a lot of these Hughes talked right and so. As, I was going just love isolated you. I'M GONNA. Be Myself physically this last months and once I don't know I was like. I have like wine house all the time. It's myself just not. Ashley dependent to it like every day on its saying. After a while, I'm probably GONNA come out of this thing. Ready dependence, you know like and so I was watching offer that I was going through a lot of stressful days and I found myself. Needing to force myself to not or glass, sometimes against signals to me like old any so much willpower just to convince myself not to you know and. I would see sometimes I wouldn't but this one day I. Think it was April Eleventh. drank and drank until like two in the morning Allah's hiring and I was just you know feeling terrible emotionally and I woke up the next day. I was obviously over I felt like craft inaugur stats. Also like okay. This shit I was afraid of and it's happened and. I decided I was going to take applause at that moment and be lie. I need to explore. What is my actual curtain relationship with alcohol? And again it goes back to the thing of where it can be confusing about how. Do. You really have a problem. Like Amazon Elastic did as I was that then? You don't need like I just. Like didn't really have an answer that I considered to a nice like little categorical box and I just started to do a lavish kitchen and i. kind of already known a little bit about the neuroscience of addiction because I had worked in criminal justice field. Before and but I was diving into a lot more learning about alcohol specifically, and realizing just kind of what had happened in you was still happening to me and also just learning that you can actually change. Your subconscious and it takes time, and it takes work agitates drinking for. I I have very intentionally not said at the outset that I never did. Because I know if I say that while my brain still believe that. I must have alcohol in my life like I. Honestly just very is like I, feel like. I can't really live without it. I can't imagine a life without drinking on. That just doesn't sound as but I now know I. Think Way because of the dependency of the things that my brain has earned at this of conscious chemical level where eight so. These kind of like observe what's happening. On more objective level and understand these things and. Yeah so I'm I'm on this journey? I'm taking a course right now. That sort of my therapy at the moment on even though I haven't committed to light never drinking definitely, because if I see that I'm just. Kinda shoot my fault on the foot because it sounds so absolute. It sounds like you know it sounds pretty awful to beyond that point, so if I feel that way, if I really believe that Wa- I'm GonNa. Just give Bob right like I. Don't what made it to? Whatever today is thirty? Two were thinking three. Because I had a bad day, I would have been like okay well McCain of course I'm GonNa drink again, so let's fuck share. It so I've been kind of strategic in by more than I'm learning in every single day. I'm like doing this corers. Green more education into my mind that my subconscious is actually learning all these things and changing their beliefs about what I you know, perceive alcohol to be in my life like and so I think that after several months listen, learned. That does take six months even actually year for brain. Kind of normalize like with our own the system so. I you know I have to come into that them I'll commission rate boy. I've just been kind of gentle myself into taking a day day looking at it as an exploration, but knowing again going back to that value honesty if I'm being really. I know that this is a problem and if I'm learning that I have this problem while you have that decision to make. Are you gonNA, do it or not, and if you don't while you know where you stand on that, you know what's the right thing to do. You're not gonNA to do. It is like that's all right I think that again, Kudos to you because I think that takes a lot of courage, and I ended for me in terms of the things that I've been dealing with. Besides US identifying I love that you're talking about giving yourself space and realistically addressing it right. You're not like China delude yourself. Come up with these really. Big Hyper hyperbole declarative things that realistically you know might actually counter your efforts. for me I'm learning how to ask my friends to like. Hold me accountable to things so I'm not just like an is a difference between like I'm GonNa. Put It on facebook and everybody like hold me accountable to like not overworking or like. Whatever whatever it is right like I'll choose people that I trust, and that I know will look out for me and say hey, this is what I'm struggling with. In terms of myself worth my self esteem. please hold me accountable to this. I'm like incrementally doing that because that's been shuttling area for me, but Those are all just like little mechanisms. That will. In it's it's like building a Web, right? You're like building this. Weaving something so that it has the strength to hold you and no one thread is going to be the singular thing, but it's if you put enough support. You'll. You'll carry you through that moment into the next since the next. Buffalo. While she or you'll you entrust law? Being that's important to like any own around you with these issues, and for them to like not judge you and you're. Like I'm going through this thing, I, not for advice right now, but it's just like be here for making rb right and. Just being just a habit sometimes is is really like. Also, Asimov's I think that's a little bit harder like what easier said than done. And I don't know if that's because I've been thinking about this because I actually find it very difficult. To talk with people around me about this specific issue, and it's not to say anything about my friends, because they are amazing. Talk to them about so many hard things and bonds it on reach and stuff but. Sometimes because people don't really understand about how. Often, say things get a responsive over the aligned with reality or not. Explain myself in his exhausting being so. Being, but sometimes I feel that it has to be used to. Take that initiative when Excellency Minor pointed kind of tell people like hey, like I wanNA share this. Like I'm not I'm not looking for advice Just this is how you can love me in this moment. Of Scud Yeah. That's amazing I've actually like increasingly. I've heard more of friends who are saying. Hey! This is something I'm dealing with. It would really help me if you know. Like even not even in terms of addiction, but even like an environmental thing, health situation like a friend. WHO's been pre diabetic, right? They're like Hey I. It sucks for me, but I can't eat the same way that I used to make I can't I can't I'm staying away from alcohol I'm not GonNa do like Boba in sweets, and like they need to really look out for their health, so they're. In their way the with their communications plan if you will in their press release. And it's smart. I mean that's so smart and so healthy and I'm like absolutely. If you're a friend, YOU'RE GONNA. Do whatever you can to be mindful to not. Dangle things in front of their face. Like Hey, do you want this pizza? Like this is so fucked up and so I think it's you know the ways that you can. It's just figuring out your strategy and your way to light. Help yourself and let the people who care about you helping you to raid, so I really respect people who can ask for that because it is very vulnerable. I'm working on that. Kudos you to like. Sit there and take the time identified. Even that's I. Think really important so. John Is. Appreciate. You so much for taking the time and like. Everything the energy to sit and talk about this with me and share your story I just. I should stay to. Really WanNa to reinforce the will that this is just my once Laurie. Everyone's so different evil. Going through alcohol whatever like your situation might be so different so I I'm not prescribing like what I'm doing. What you should be doing like I really hope. People like know that, but just to be like. Take it more as like. There's hope you know what I mean like. Ramp like darkness and where you feel like you can find a way, Your life is so worth fighting for our day. Now. Car In your fighting for every day you are you really are? Because you have magic that if you have like the oldest light that you can possibly live in. Their wings for use as you're not doing that right now so I just Wanna I want this more to the encouraging stories is like. Here's what you were addiction. Absolutely I'm I mean I'm very encouraged and inspired to get. People are fighting demons left and right right. We have our our different Different baggage in a different wounds that were healing in. One form of that in it's. It's a very tough road to walk. But I definitely think that was your mission I personally as host. The first of all mission accomplished I think it's really inspiring and. Yeah work if people would want to share your internet or anything, IF PEOPLE WANNA follow you. Yes, so you can tune into my podcasts at the souls work podcast, dot, bus, dot, com, or find this soldier Pakistan I tunes or your favorite podcast player, and I'll be continuing this conversation about my journey with alcohol there plus other self development topics more generally, and you can also follow me on instagram agenda so images and on facebook at John Ho Creative. Love it. Thank you so much. Yeah, everybody, please give Janice a follow. More more beautiful, encouraging wisdom to come your way from this woman. And I, just really appreciate you. Thank you so much and. They to new my audio engineer producer for helping me bring this episode to the world and thank you to Travis. A trail for use of his song set free for the Intro Altro, and I'm very proud. Member of the POTLUCK party collected, which is a collective Asian redken podcasters, storytellers, pleased checkout so many amazing shows that are part of that collective and yeah, if you'd like to become a supporter of this podcast would love to have you. There Patriot dot com slash first of all podcast. You can email me at first ball prodigy. Mel Dot Com. Follow me on Instagram at first of all hot or my personal admin. Cheesy has been quite a journey creating more stories in spaces I talk about. Things, dark things and bring things to light, because that's what I wanna do is bring late and loves. And thank you again for being a great cast I. Hope You have an amazing weekend week, Rest of your warranty. We're going to get through this together. David everyone listening I hope you have a wonderful week I don't talk to you. So Five is more than them. She said bits. On the side of the PGA! She said. Hey, I'm bill. You and you may know me from law called angry. I'm Jeff Yang, author, journalist and Celebrity Dad. PODCAST called, they call Bruce non filtered conversation about what's happening asian-american each week, or so we hosted discussion about some of the most vital and interesting topics are pop culture in our community. Bring in guests who are shaping and forming this thing called Asia America from Hollywood to be C. N., beyond. We got media entertainment food family. Politics representation the good, the bad, the of it all. Check US, out wherever you get your podcast or at Nicole spruce dot com. Peace Peace.

Dopamine Toronto dopamine Janice Ho Ray China America Cupertino Mental Disorders youtube Jonas Steve Marvin California Mexico Maggie Briana Taylor US producer
Rewiring Your Brain for Happiness with Loretta Breuning | EP 6 (Season 2, EP 1)

Camden Boyd's The Happiness Question

31:11 min | 5 months ago

Rewiring Your Brain for Happiness with Loretta Breuning | EP 6 (Season 2, EP 1)

"Hello and welcome to happiness question today. Have with the Loretta. Bruening professor and founder of the Inner Mammal Institute from California is just one question he answers to you. The happiness was this episode of the Happiness. Question is sponsored by audible. Start Your Free Thirty Day. Trial today to get one book to originals for free by going to trial dot com slash the happiest Question Cohen Broken Happiness Cargo Great High A. You might you about yourself. You're well I was a college professor for twenty five years and I took early retirement so that I write books and I had these books in my mind for years so things I wanted to say and I had failed for years and years in getting anything published and finally self publishing was invented in so I started self publishing books and the first one didn't sell I wrote another and that didn't sell wrote another and then I promised myself that I wouldn't write any more until I spent a year on marketing and finally I slowly over time I got an agent that got a publisher about another publisher and I started getting a lot of readers and now I spend all my time replying to fan mail or like a lot of my time. You know so. It's amazing for all this well. This is part of marketing. So that's the marketing part. So I put marketing opportunities especially when I get to do something verbal because not everybody wants to read so I look for ways to to non verbal non written things and anytime I have left them always working on the next book. True lemming Brooklyn Steve. Really Long Process. Refer point where you've got an anti-drug publisher active. I know if not necessarily difficult to self published. What's the question. I'm sorry how? How do I know when I'm done? Is that what you say? It's starting businesses just a lot of stress and working yourselves but what was your mental. Suffering thing is hard and if you focus on the positive then you can feel happy that you have a chance to do this and I only focus on my next step so instead of thinking about pie in the sky in the future I think what are the steps I wanna take and I'm so lucky that I get to do these things. And what is the step that I'm going to focus on today? And what am I going to focus on tomorrow morning? And that's it and not overwhelm myself. And then just know that. If I have all these other things I wanna do that when I get down to that I always have in my mind that the hardest thing I have to do I should do first thing in the morning and only one hard thing each morning and then the next morning get on another hard thing and keep taking small steps and of course I work all day but I mean to do the hard part I but only one hard thing each morning. What kind of things would that be mel some time? It's when I have to write something that's hard to say because I'm worried that it's going to get criticized and so I wanna say it very carefully. So sometimes that's to a person and sometimes it's in a book like a section of a book and sometimes it's because. I WANNA say it in a way that simple but I have so many ideas so I have to be so careful to not make it boring if you just say everything in like how can I make simple. And then sometimes you know technical stuff when you've tried and tried and tried to do something technical and you fail and it's at night and you just get all upset and it's like okay. I gotTa stop because once you let yourself get really upset. It's chemicals that make circuit in your brain. And then just thinking about that thing upsets you so I say okay I gotTA stop here to start in the morning. When I'm calm and tackle at versing in the morning and like a simplest example I had to pay someone in Europe for doing something and I could not get you know my bank to communicate with their bank and like everything went wrong like when everything goes wrong is sorta at some point. You GotTa stop and start over when you're calm really good okay. This is a little bit more about yourself. What's the memo? So this is what I started when I was writing my second buck and I realized I needed an umbrella for my concepts. So the idea. Is that our emotions are caused by brain chemicals that we've inherited from mammals and they're controlled by the part of our brain. You know you have that frankly part that you see in pictures but then underneath that it's like this and then underneath out we have this core and it has things that you've heard of like the amid delay in the hippocampus and all these little parts are the same as in animals and those little parts control the emotions that make us feel good and bad so when you talk to yourself. That's all in words and your motion will brain does not have the power of language. So your brain and your human brain can't talk to each and they'd really don't know what each other is doing and that's why life is challenging and that's why it takes so much skill to manage your brain and that's what. I want to teach people how to do thank you. How does this work fair question? Hell that is my whole work. And that is my home page. So if you go to my home page see the whole story all in like Eric Short so we have some rain chemicals that make us feel good and you may have heard of them like mean Serotonin oxytocin and endorphin and they are not designed to flow all the time for. No reason may evolve to do a very specific job. And when you know the job they do in animals. It's so easy to see that. That's what we're doing all the time. And of course. I'm not saying that we should act like animals. But it's really the opposite is that we will act like animals if we don't work very hard at using but human part of our brain to manage the emotional part of operate but I'm not saying that the emotional part of your brain is all bad because people who tried to ignore it in only use the human brain. You can't function bay we have Choo brains because we need both and you have to teach them to work together. So how do we do that? How we teach her friends to tear so I would say the first thing is self acceptance the idea that we have impulses that are hard to make sense of because they get wired from past experience so the impulses are. How can I get more dopamine? How can I get worse or atonement? So I'll explain how they work. So dopamine is what tells you that you're about to get a reward and in the Animal World. Nobody gives you food. You have to look for food all the time. So when you see food in the distance and your brain says wow. That's what I need. Because you're hungry. And so the good feeling of dopamine is released and that motivates you to go toward food so in the human world when we get food so easily and effortlessly we don't get so much dopamine although you know like if you're really hungry and you get home and nobody's feeding you have to cook and it's like then you get excited about the actions but in normal life if you just call for pizza and shovel it in your face then you have to do other things to get the excitement of dopamine and in the best case scenario you plan you take steps and you have a positive outcome okay. So that's what works. So that's just the dopamine. Part with them we have the serotonin part of the OXYTOCIN PART. So the oxytocin part is the urge for social support and in the Animal World. You need heard to be protected from predators. But it's not like you think like the heard is all wanting to protect you. They're all just trying to push their way to the center so that they're not the ones that get eaten by the Predator and that's why social life is so frustrating because we have these idealized news and we have a selfish urge for safety but so does everybody else. So that's why social trust is hard to build and the better you understand it more you can take effective steps to build trust with individuals to like. I will reciprocate if you reciprocate. So the last one I'll just explain is serotonin. And this is the feeling of pride or confidence or assertion and it's really social strengths social power and we're often told that it's wrong to feel pride and feel important but in fact that's what our brain is always looking for and if you always put yourself below then you don't get it and you end up frustrated and resentful so it's a skill to learn how. I can be proud without putting other people down. So that's the complicated challenge of happiness. How meanwhile ourselves happiness so all of those what I explain? Whatever trigger dopamine in the past wires you. That's how I'm GONNA get it. Today whatever triggered your Serotonin oxytocin in the past wired you. That's how you look for and expect it today. But everybody's past is just a random collection of experiences so nobody has a perfect. Gps to do it in the perfect way. So that's why we all can use some rewiring sometime when you realize that your impulses are leading you in a direction. That's not useful. So the simplest example is if the way you get dopamine is by calling for pizza delivery or eating another box of cookies or playing another video game and you realized Gee I would be better off if I could get excited about a youthful project and taking small steps toward a useful project. That's another way to stimulate dopamine but toward to get started. If you don't already do that but if you take the first few steps you'll start getting the dopamine and that will build a new pathway and then you keep taking the steps and you will rewire yourself. So what are your books about written so many? Yeta introductory book is called Habits of a Happy Brain. Re Train your brain to boost your serotonin dopamine oxytocin and endorphin. So that's exactly the introduction to what I just sad and for people who don't WanNa read whole book. I created a series of five minute videos. That explains all of what I just said. And it's a humorous video so it's fun to watch and you could send your friends and it's on Youtube and it's also up my website if you click videos on my website is intermodal institute dot Org and if you only have two minutes. I created an animation that explains all of this and then I have two other books. One of them is called. The science of positivity stop negative thought patterns by Changing Your Brain Chemistry and then my newest one is called teen your anxiety rewiring yourself for happiness while it's good to be the king of a podcast isn't it. He's got one to yes I do. It's called the happy brain. I decided to rewrite the book for teenagers because everybody who reads the book says Oh. I wish I knew this when I was young. So one thing I really want to talk about in the teen book is popularity because it's amazing to learn that monkeys obsess over popularity and for the same reasons so in the animal world. There's a few things so animals. They're born attached to their parents but their parents will not live forever and monkeys have a much shorter lifespan. And so they have to have survival skills so they can survive when Sir parents are gone and they have to say. Let's say dating skills because otherwise there would be wiped out forever. So what does it take to date successfully in a monkey world? Well you would be amazed that it's the same. As in the human world it takes the willingness to take risks a healthy appearance and social alliances. And that is basically the core of hockey larrabee human world. Now we all know that. A lot of popularity's stupid things that are bad for you in the long run and you're better off without and so it's very hard decision to have to make. Fortunately we're not as much in a hurry to pass on our genes as monkeys are so we get to take our time and learn to make these decisions with more accumulated information and yet when popularity stimulates are happy chemicals. Because that's the brain we've inherited so that's like attempt. Haitian to make bad decisions so it's all very complicated and it was very relieving for me. Read about how this works in animals because well. Oh so it's not me it's like this is really going on. And the thing is a monkeys die young but they've already passed their genes on this like live fast and die young and just leave a lot of babies. That's not really what I'm going for so some monkeys do that but like we have a big brain. 'cause we could choose not to do that. Also running cook forgets well. I did the animation and I thought maybe that would be good for kids. It's only two minutes and really funny thing happened. I did a podcast for Dads and I asked the dad you know. Show my animation to your kids so one kid was five from one kid was seven and a five year old said. How long is this but the seven year old? Said he liked it. But I'm still waiting for more back from the seven year old so I haven't gotten it yet so I should write and ask him. But I have to tell you that the introduction to my teen book I've sent it to about a dozen teens and I haven't gotten any feedback yet so harvey invites and all of my books is. Don't wait for applause so I may have to at some point. Just write it without waiting for feedback. Why our brains donated yet so go negative for two reasons? One of them is cortisol which you may have heard of. It's called the stress chemical and it's the chemical Mattel's an animal all that it's about to be attacked by a Predator so when it gazelle smells a lion it gets really bad feeling and the Gazelle would rather just keep eating grass. So why is it run because Cortisol feel so bad that you can't think about anything else until you do something to make it go away? So that's what stresses and. That's what motivates Gazelle to run when it smells alliant now our brains as toward the negative which means if you have to choose between running from a lion or eating more grass. You're only gonNA survive if you run. So that's why we're biased toward the negative now. The other reason is because every time you're happy chemicals turn on. They only turn on for a short time. So whether it's a pizza or the good feeling of finishing your math homework you get some dopamine but it only lasts for a short time and then it's gone so if you match and you're a caveman and then you find something good to eat in your all excited but then the good food is gone so you have to keep looking so our brain only releases good feelings for short time because we have to always keep looking and that's why our ancestors survived so when the good feeling stops it's like oh it's like if you have an ice cream and then the ice creams done and I have to face reality again. So that's that's the challenge of being human. Thank you have mentioned a little bit but we should probably mentioned more why we have good good so why we have power over our brains. We are born with billions of neurons but no connections between that. And that's what makes US DIFFERENT FROM. Animals is that animals are already hooked up once they're born so when a turtle is born you may have seen the turtles hatching out of their shells and then they run straight to the ocean and they swim and they look for food so you don't even have a childhood because they're already born hardwired with whatever. I need to know whereas a human is born with no skills and they can't do anything they can't even lift their head for a few months you know so we. Humans have to learn survival skills from experience and most survival skills include self management and managing your emotions as well as the skills that takes in the modern world to earn a living at or the skills that it took in our ancestors world till look for food so we learn these skills in a few ways but the main way is by watching the people around us and imitating what they do. And that's what wires our brains nats. What makes us not animals? But if I were raised in the woods with wolves I would be you know not exactly the same as a wolf but not that different so you said that we have like an emotions being an a normal irving so happy to brains and how do animals emotions rain showers Mary. Good okay so if you have a line between turtles and humans from turtles you go to small mammals like mice and then you go to bigger mammals like Docs. And so there's the what I call the verbal brain could call up the CORTEX and then there's the animal brain so a turtle has almost no cortex at all. A mouse has a teeny weeny CORTEX. Adults CORTEX is a little bigger. A monkey's CORTEX is like three times. As big as a dog and apes cortex like three times as big as a monkey and Human Cortex is like Times Vegas and eight so the more cortex you have the more billeting billeting have to control your emotional brain so animals do whatever their emotional chemicals tell them whereas humans have the ability to put on the brakes and say do. I want to go with my first choice or I want to think about it. And that's really what it is to be human is to be constantly saying. Do I want to go with my first choice or do I want to think about it and come up with a second choice when you come up with a second choice? Then you feed that to your animal brain your animal brains. The one has to step on the gas and go for it. And then maybe you're human brain will Satan. No the second choice isn't really good. Either I'm GonNa look for another choice but if you just debate forever then you would starve to death so you have to find some good choices. So that's why we can't just use our human brain. You have to like get excited about one of your choices. You can't be against all of them. But then if you just go with your animal brain and you always do whatever comes to you automatically. You're basically just repeating whatever you absorb from the world around you whether it's really good for you in the long run or not awesome for brain. It's not the FAM- size ensor animals wise than how does that sets it. Why is that well SAM? Easy answer over time if you make a line from turtles to humans and of course we could include fish and snails if we want to get a big picture but let's just go from turtles to mice two dogs to monkeys apes to humans so the CORTEX gets bigger. The childhood gets longer because it takes time to hook up a cortex because a CORTEX is not born wired up so turtles have no attachment to their parents and no parenting and no nurturing and no bonding and so for tax the more attachment been more nurturing. The more bonding the more learning from others and the longer the life expectancy so the bigger the brain the longer the life expectancy and the bigger the brain the longer the station the longer before a baby is born long after conception that it takes to develop that big brain and the more protein is necessary to create that big brain and it takes intelligence to find the protein. Actually let's just run off the path second You've done a lot of sufferers your favorite thing to do Mike. You know he's done well. I have to say that I have done some facebook live type things in Spanish so that was so exciting for me and I got to do a book tour in Mexico was on the radio in Spanish and I have to tell you that that and I was even like on the Mexican equivalent of Good Morning America and I have to tell you about my Spanish is not that good so like this fear of like. Am I gonNA understand the questions? His I could always comp with words but what if I don't understand the questions so you know fear actually build a pathway in your brain. That's the cortisol the stress thing. That's how a Gazelle learns to remember where the Lions are so. It's like Oh my God so that moment of being on Matt Mexican Good Morning America and my God. I understand what they're saying and coming up with words so that was mine and I'm doing it in French in a couple of months. My friend is a lot better than my Spanish but these French seminars are going to be like all day long and I have to do it with other people and I don't necessarily agree with the philosophy of the other people. Yeah gotta be hard bed just having to be immersed in a language is really cool but also really created the here. Yeah Yeah languages well can read Italian sort of I mean just like the basics and so that's it but I studied other languages when I was young but I didn't follow up on them was lying interest. And you know when you're young so neural plasticity is high when you're young and you store things easily then when you get it's actually would think of it like heaving on road so the connections bill between neurons and the neural pathway gets paved and then electricity flows easily down one of paved pathways. And that's why we all use the neural pathways that we built when we were young. So when you speak your native language you're using neural pathways. That you built when you were young. You were not aware of building them but if you spend any time with the baby you see how much repetition the family goes through to teach a baby how to talk. And that's how much work it takes to build a foreign language and then as you get older you have less the paving so then you're trying to build new roads as a lot of work and they're not even pay so that's basically at problem. So what what I think people need to know is that small steps are all it takes for your brain to feel good so many people like tell you to focus on a dream and it's sort of like an addiction because if you focus on the dream then you feel good for a few minutes but it's sort of like a monkey. Thanks oh I think I see a whole big bunch of bananas but if you never get closer to the bananas then your brain doesn't release the good feeling of dopamine so you have to actually get closer to the bananas to feel good so instead of having big dream if you think of. What's like a small goal for this week and seven small steps that I could take toward it? You're gonNA feel much better. You'RE GOING GONNA RELEASE DOPAMINE. You can build halfway. Expects to feel good and then you can expect to keep taking steps and keep feeling good. This is actually really helped. And General Most People. Yes thank you. That's why I wanted to be on. I just love your background right now. I feel like I'm in the jungle connor. Yeah I always talk about being in a jungle of neurons and that's why we're always tempted to take the old pouty lips but we have billions of other neurons that we could activate but it's like blazing a new trail in the jungle. And when you try to do that you feel lost. And that's again the challenge of being human. How about I just have one more thing and then I have to go so that is social comparison. So where is comparing ourselves because monkeys are always comparing themselves to others and the reason is that if a monkey grabs for a banana and a bigger monkey had his eye on that banana the bigger monkey will actually bite the smaller Monty and the smaller monkey doesn't WanNa get bitten so it pulls back and then it's always comparing itself to others and it will not reach for a banana unless it seems that it's the bigger monkey so that's why people who have that good life may drive themselves crazy because they always think the other monkey is bigger and they always think they're not going to get the banana and they always feel threatened and in fact the other monkey will always look bigger if you think well. This person has better. You know better. This and that person has better that you know and so we need to focus on our own strengths in a healthy way. So it's not like I'm stronger and so I'm GonNa buy you and take the banana but that internally we can feel confident in our strengths so that we feel like we can get banana when we need it. And that's the feeling of Serotonin off thank you. This is bad. Thank you should write something for kids to feel like watching kids program. Thank you thank you okay. Well maybe I'll just take this and send it to a cartoon. Okay talk while it was great to me. Ill has have a great day. Thank you take care. Bye Bye road to turn all this happy so gas.

dopamine oxytocin Animal World DOPAMINE cortisol Lions publisher Europe Cohen professor Brooklyn California endorphin Inner Mammal Institute Youtube mel Mattel Choo
Rats on the Road

The Good News Podcast

04:54 min | 1 year ago

Rats on the Road

"Source for Good News Fun Stories Auditory Delight and sonic joy we're bringing you all of this goodness from beautiful downtown Chicago we're talking about hi I'm calling your host for the good news podcast and I'm neil the other host the good news podcast is rats on like a metal plate and there's a wire in front of them that allows them to go forward and steer eighteen rats how to drive little cars these little cars are like clear plastic shoe boxes and inside so rats rats that grew up in a cage yeah could drive less well than rats that had like more interesting environment car and it pulls up and it's not fully automated it is driven by a rat now the treatments for depression anxiety that are not related to medicine some purely just situational or environmental little rat cars rat mobiles if you will after these rats drove their little rat guys they were happy all treatments for depression anxiety yeah that's good. I can't imagine driving a lift is going to cure your depression no kidding me okay hold hold your horses must've our music is by Paddington bear sucks this just from the BBC researchers at the University of Richmond have taught seven and as a reward they get little bits of cereal says that what you do do you tip them cereal they're like here's the thing tree I mean you gotta get that out some cereal I'm feeling Gimme that ferriol if you got into a car with a rap stunted going on but here is the kicker this really made me smile again made the rat smile after driving the and the researchers I'm sure that like after they did this experiment they were like scrambling trying to figure out like how do we explain that we've been teaching to drive cars Oh God thanks for listening do you have good news incredible or maybe WanNa tell us a joke or idea excellent e mail hear what they had job they had like a a release dopamine there were less stress they were more relaxed it would you still take that ride yes guests to see what happens yeah it's like cars drive themselves yeah so what if you they are happening they're happening yeah in different places picture this the years twenty twenty one you ah like wild rats like an enriched environment is what they call it like cage rats brains are a bit dull yeah you're taking your electric powered self-driving lift equivalent future lift its frisked you've devoted your gift it's an election tweet us at the Good News Pot and follow us on instagram too and if you love the good news podcast think about supporting us on our pitron page driving ooh cars yeah cars cars cars unicycles everyone's talking about automated driving systems right us at hello at the good news podcasts. DOT FM or leave us a voicemail at seven seven three two one seven zero one five six you can kills are disgusted hate unrest times about Ross before driver excuse me put your tail in your pants they're coming tomorrow have released findings that imply like maybe this can lead us toward ah running side to side along the steering wheel back and forth that's out steers yeah that's I would be like let's just see where this goes and I guess there's a second rat on the pedals more anxious. I wonder if these rats felt such pride today. They've says about accomplishing something or it's just about getting that.

Ross Chicago Paddington University of Richmond dopamine instagram BBC
Stress Hacks for Weight Loss

Body Science Podcast Series

33:20 min | 2 years ago

Stress Hacks for Weight Loss

"It's week. We touch on how to hack the circle of failure excuses and rationalization. If you'll looking into a white loss mindset with me, stressed Heff on earth, Luke maye the dietitian, Harriet walk. This is a good one. Welcome to the body science podcast, bringing you everything you need want and should know about health, fitness, nutrition, and training. As always the information attending put causes the formation purposes only and he's not designed to diagnose, will be restricted to treat prevent or many any injury that these or other health related condition. Today's podcast is brought to you by green tea, t x one hundred a delicious Lloyd calorie Glenn of green tea, extract got friendly probiotics and powerful antioxidants hacked bullet energy, green tea tea. One hundred helps Bruce metabolism promote good bacteria, enhance energy labels and stimulate fat burning through its natural dim. Genyk baked naturally sweetened and with NORAD sugar, green tea, tea x. One hundred is your and such a great tasting satisfying energy boost available in delicious, super berry flavor to the body science podcast, the center of happy and healthy and speaking of fit happy and healthy. I've got to jersey to talk today in relation to that exact topic. We're going to discuss how to hack into the white loss mindset with me, Harriet Walker, dot Titian, sports dot Titian, lift up, Halley, thanks for having me. On my left. Look, my is write a book, cold stress, Teflon. If you haven't read it, grab it, waking you get it from your. You can get it from stress, Teflon dot com. K. so that we're going to get an you also do a lot of individual talking in relation to stress and stress management, and you'll be thing is stresses not bad? No, it's not. It's really good as long as you learn how to use it. Hopefully that some of the stuff we can talk about today and Herod how how much is stress related to white loss? Like let's let's not macaroni was talking about Whitelaw smart city. Well, I think stress is a very big factor in. Yes, I probably few times a week. There's somebody who is battling with over eighteen ju to their lifestyle. Overworked. They've got kids that try to balance everything and they're aiding their emotions. Yeah, it happens quite commonly. So it was definitely a topic that I am a wrangle h weep. And it's not going anywhere because probably not as deputy dealing with ow stress levels as we need to be when someone comes and says you in a clinic to talk about, I don't wanna lose guideline to talk to you about how much of it does have to do. We stress and emotional, the emotional sort of dot its, there's an individual variation, but very commonly light. There is an element of stress that I'm assessing as we go through their initial assessment. So you know, I'm talking not just talking about the nutrition in tank for the pro the first half hour. I'm talking about their lifestyle and yeah, what are some of the things that impact the why they ate? And so I'm looking at work and the ability to prepare food where they get their food from and what are they eating? And so very commonly I'll get these people saying, oh, I ate this perfect diet and let cool. But if you just like that, we would be here right now. So what else is going on? And that's when all well. You know, have a bad day and I, this all my bosses got mad at me. And so I go to the, you know, whatever. I get that little sugar hug that I get from food, and that really is a lot of the time. Sometimes I'm not. I'm referring out before I get into my meal plans. I'm making sure they're, they're okay motionlessly. So if I'm getting sugar hug to loot little dopamine, lollipops hoping mainly folks, what should I be doing? You've written the book, stress, stiff loan. What should I be doing? Things in stressed, flown is is about self awareness. You go to sort of understand what you're thinking more. You're thinking, whether it's helping and one of the hassles that you get when you have a bad die. Now you keep saying little boss or your husband's not being. So I know. So your boss, there are loads of stresses that come and you have no control over them. The stress makes you feel uncomfortable and it's gonna designed to make you feel uncomfortable is supposed to spur you into action. You're caveman you're supposed to use. I run away from Tigers. The hassle is they're not Tigers anyplace anymore, and you just want something that makes you feel comfortable. Dopamine lollipop blood grabbing a chocolate bar or a bit a kite more. Might you feel good for a little while for the long term benefit that don't last very long. So when you have that problem in your feeling terrible and you go to do something, the something you do, you reach for Kyko you reach for something sweet and you're going to undo all your all your dog. Good work that you've done during the day and you put yourself on a little sugar up and down rollercoaster for the rest of the day. And that makes it really hard to get off. So what should we do? I think if you can sort of stop at that point where you feel it. Yeah, Stein to get cranky on Stein to feel a little bit uncomfortable and just take a couple of deep breaths and take a couple of moments and do whatever you doing deliberately from then the hassle is we going to whatever's right next to us, and we look for instant gratification. Then shame and guilt felt after eighteen the food that people know that probably shouldn't when they did it reactively and they don't have that odd probably perfect to his mindfulness that what you're talking about, the date breath and the stopping point is a really powerful until people are aware of that cycle that you know in this picture here they don't know how to stop. And I think that's a really important piece. Moment there. So if we could do a pre mortem and step back a little bit on that, what's happening in our bodies at that time with that stresses hit us and Luke sang stop, take a breath in and think about where you're going next, what's happening in our body the that's driving us towards sugar? Yes, the few different things that are going on in west rest. And I mean, the idea is it's a fought of flight reaction. So what happens when we need to fight, all we need to run is that we need glucose to fuel that movement. So we're, we're the fighting something away running away from it either why we need extra energy. So we get glucose mobilizations excess blood glucose levels. We get increased awareness of our hot and senses. We might get a bit of tension throughout our muscles load of physiological factors. We might increase in breath rights increased blood pressure too, so it ready to go. But the problem is a lot of the time we're having these reactions sitting down and we're kind of almost doing in our own blood sugar because we're not doing blood sugar. We might be having that response to a Bill that we've just opened away Motte. Be having that response because their partners over there upset at us for something. There's lots of different reasons why we might have that stress response be work, but when not utilizing that blood sugar level. So a couple of different things. We might be storing that excess blood glucose level as fat, and very commonly say that as thorough fat. So we've got subcutaneous fat, which is a fat that is just below the skin, and it doesn't really have any negative necessarily health implications, but it's a visceral fat that is around the center, and it is really encasing the organs, and it's actually impairing their ability to do their job. But also what we say with stress is we also get loss of appetite initially because it doesn't bode well that if I'm stressed and I'm about to run away from something, but I need to have a quick snack. So body turns off our our hunger cues, but we might actually get an amplified, respond flight or on, and we're trying to replace those those stores that we might not have had that time. And generally speaking, sugar is the go-to. When we've got decreased blood sugar levels, we might get a corresponding sort of craving for something that's really going to bump them up again. So there's a few different things than. It's time phase at which it happens. Yes, we get the stress is really associated with that belly fat around the middle, which is again implicated with things like metabolic disease, diabetes prediabetes, and whatnot cardiovascular disease. So we're really trying to avoid trying to reduce the creation of that around the Billy marine thing. We've out you summed it up perfectly. The fastest place the body can get glucose from your live, the liver's got this lovely little glauca Jin stole sitting there ready to go. So once that cortisol in the journal and hit the system, the glucose goes straight into the bloodstream. You have haven of it there, and then you get an insulin response, which is why when it crashes a little bit light off, and then you throw food on top of a system that's already really high glucose so that when it gets back to the live deliver says, I am going to have to store this stuff now and it ends up storing visceral fat around your belly. And then there's also the association of a stressful situation with aiding sugary foods, and that becomes a learnt behavior as well. So that's very much like the old pep loves dole during a bail and get a response way. Say that with PayPal. That every time until I break the cycle, the associated stressful occasions with that food hog gives him that sort of small doses of Doberman. Two main Molly pop? Yes. We've all got different names for it. So obviously, it's a thing so that I'm sitting here, I've just been rimmed my boss oil had a flight with my partner loot and you say, stop think take a few Bris what's going on the Elec seriously? How many people doing that you're going to work out. The first thing you do whenever there's any danger is you're gonna get away from the thing that causes you straight talking about that cross right at the point where leftover hot? Yeah, you get to a fork in the stress, right? One of the things I talk about in the book is that there's always a fork in the stress, right? There's always a moment when you can either take stresses a challenge. And when you take that road, you don't actually get any vascular problems that happen that have associated with stress. And when you take it as more of a challenge as we'd like climbing a mountain, you body's response to that is actually really good. Bring it on. Let's go on. It's a healthy thing. Whereas when you tight the other full distress ride, which is the threat ride, you go into this little Spar lavar ni- this is terrible on. I look at waffle I feel and you end up in this little vortex of stress, which is really terrible. Close your mind off to solutions as well as is when you're in that situation. Way, you know your in that cycle of told negative, become defensive in down. So Hetty catch yourself, stop. You just go to stop in connect. What I talk about in the book is if you've got these old Brian, this new Bryan that have going on in lies. You've got all this old stuff going on, and it teaches you how to be reactive, and it's designed to get you out of trouble when you say l. Brian, what are you talking about when you talk about? All right. I'm talking about the limbic Brian, the stuff Royd in the middle of the top Hispano Korda's where you have things like fear centers and you memories and all your emotions come from where you're Migdal res. It's all things that to keep you alive when you're in the jungle, and he knew Brian is let your prefrontal cortex. It's the smart bit. That's right on top of your forehead and can actually do you sort of logical thinking for the new Bryan supposed to be the sort of the sort of supervisor the whole lot. And we make a smart decision. We've got to engage the new Bryan if you engage if you engage, and is that the stop and think the thing about the emotional part of your Brian is it doesn't have any language a can't talk. So when you meet someone, you think I just had a bad feeling about. Person. Normally, that's your all Brian saying that what this person saying and what they're giving off on the same thing. That's why we get those feelings and we can't decide why the old Brian doesn't have any any ability to use language. So when you're all brands, the one going off ne-new brains meant to kick in and work out why and how to solve the problem rather than getting your me Bill hijacked the center of your Brian guys off and all of a sudden you get these cascades of adrenaline and cortisol and all of that with generally darned help unless you're running away from something and let's face it. We not running wife and much usually. So you mentioned people tend to Damon, is it? They hunger with this theory where it's all going in that they feel bad about what they just guys on and on and on and on. It's not a liar of negative emotion when feeling shame and guilt about what we've Eytan. It's a negative association with aiding food and then that a self efficacy of either. And I had a fade myself properly and I'm I'm not feeling great about that. I thought I can't do anything. So you know. You know, it might start with displaying stressful life Ajao, but it tends into making aiding really big thing as well, which is not necessarily positive. I think no one really likes to file it something. We don't like to think all we've lit sales down. I'm a self. I struggled with my white for years and years for twenty years. I tried to get under one hundred kilos and hadn't been able to do it. If you tried something for twenty years and filed, you're pretty shitty. You're not very good at it. So your belief that you actually do this is really, really poll. So the hassle is then when it comes to a stressful time and you don't have the impulse control you'd like to have to be the best version of yourself you're going to give in and then you're gonna side. Look, I told you, I was shit. I told you I wasn't very good at this and that's what's going on here. And then the thing that goes on in your head that says, well of stuff this now I'm going to doesn't matter all eat whatever I want from now while the old speaking of if it. So I've just had a bad day off gone and let it up on dynamics and cakes on feeling bad about myself which you told me happens, what should I do when that happens? This is talk to a law. Law, all my clients about all of it because I say it isn't on the on the point. Kat. Health is a skill. And the first thing I asked him to do instead of derailing themselves and saying, you know, screw it. I'm going to eat whatever. I want them to be curious, but not judgment will big curious about what happened. You know you've Bob it up, what can you take away? What darter or what information can you gonna from that situation? Because once we can stop and be objective about it, it's not because you're a failure unlock you assigned like no one likes filed anything, an eighteen years, inherit pot, Ovau baying. We have two eight. So the fact that you can file it eighteen years, that feels pretty crappy. But when you look at food environment, it's a lot of different reasons. Why is not the case these days? Despite that, I also able to be curious, but not judgmental, because that means a night comeback. As I Harriet, I missed up on this instead of blocking themselves to saying what the objective data is, why it happened by being curious about it. They open themselves up to being actually able to learn from it. So it's not learning any skill, any new job if you hard on yourself. Like I screwed up a lot. If you've got a boss who you know, totally rods you for rather than a cat. You did this wrong. This is why did it wrong? And like let's help you learn to self correct people once I right into the fact that I might have done something wrong, but they're also to the fact that they can fix it themselves to know what you do next time. I, I've triggered this next time. I get that trigger. I'm going to do something in a different way and what type of things he used to say, stop and breathe or read a book, oh, win. Boy. Daniel pink is really, really cool guard from the sites, and he came out with his idea of a pre mortem. Everyone talks about a postmortem at the end of the day. You look back and you say, you wait bad in postmortem, you'll get things that went wrong. It apprai- mortem you. You look at things in the future and think what might happen. So what are you doing now? Strengths? What are you waiting? This is what are the opportunities which are external and what are the threats which are external. And actually, I've talked about this incentive, the body size really boring swat. But what about yourself in and actually brings out some really insightful things that makes people identify because this is. Lodge pot of reasons why generic dot don't work because because they're not Thailand to that individual person's issues over theory on this one, one of the cases of carrots and sticks, and our bodies dopamine dopamine is your drive to thrive is the thing that keeps you focused whenever you good to guy, I don't reckon you get a big dopamine hit from taking other people's box. If you're gonna get a dopamine hit. You wanna get a diaper main hit from taking your own boxes. You wanna be the one that decided the things that you wanted to. I think the hassle with some that you just download at the internet is taking all the boxes and it doesn't mean anything to you lock. It's it doesn't have any meaning to you specifically, and it's easy to jump off if it's generic, whereas you do feel with your clients, you give them that and they're accountable to you a bit, and I think that would help a bit. I like to tell sort of my clients that by the end of us working together on lucky to figure it out, like I don't want you to Nate me, but it it'd be nice for them to actually come to me with those questions like, okay, this is what happened. This is what I did badly. Let's work through that one. This time, what did you do this scenario? And I'm going to help you figure out what we do better next time. So that why next time I approach that situation like, oh, I've seen this before. I remember what happened last time I did this and this is what I'm going to do these times. So I get people to go k what happened to bring your lunch to work and they're like, all yes. So I ended up buying like a crappy taika. Why of some description? I didn't follow my diet plan and my. Okay, cool. That's going to happen again. I'll guarantee you what's the nearest things that you have close body. Your office had why construct a healthy meal from seven, eleven or whatever, and it's doable. It's all doable. Like I get people to figure out what a pitch will stations meals they could come up with because I mean everyone's go to a petrol station and there's plenty of healthy foods pre mortem thing to do, isn't it? What am I going to do when I'm stuck in seven? Eleven for dinner. Absolutely. So it's sorta Pau without the pastry. This hates his stuff if you if you're ready for it. Again, it's don't about not having those road bumps about how quickly can count on, you know, bump over them and keep going. The other thing that we do as humans. Mike senses, we have a negative boss. We tend to focus on things. We do that a negative, and we really remember those. We don't necessarily remember what we did on the dies when we did stuff. Well, so to coin to catch yourself. I've had a really good. I stuck to everything, said organ. My pre mortem worked at perfectly. I went to the thing on you. I had to go to if you're a manager in the business, one of the first rules of management is you catch stuff doing something well, and we don't do that with cells. We really bright us elves when we do something wrong, and we don't actually catch yourself doing well and sign of dry. Trying really hard this morning. I ran hot up that halo I could've eaten a cake at lunchtime, and I didn't. We don't actually give ourselves a rapid times when we do well. I think that's something we need to change. Absolutely. And it's not great to be, you know, high fiving yourself in public. A quick question. The Trollop you'll doing. A meal plan for someone with dark plan, whatever you want doing dot, how important is a tribe Luke's book talks about the tribe, so ham potent is that Troy around and you can talk about what Detroit is in. Secondly, how important is it to talk about the environment at sort of the individual really, really important. Like I think it's on my son, Michael bright, like who's on your bus last sort of say, and there's people who will make or break, you know, it's the person who, if you decide to give up alcohol, who's the guy who's going to be like, oh, come on, just have gone. You're boring used to be cool. Now you're not cake, aiding buddy. All why didn't cake anymore. What we have in common now as opposed to a friend who's like, oh, okay. That's a really interesting. Let's all come for walk with you instead good on utha trying to make a change like it's not until you try and make a health change. Your find out who your friends are. I found this really, really quite a parent when I was what he building. So I'll was cutting for a competition and to fifty percent of my friendship. Some of them were really supportive. I made a big point of going out. I wasn't drinking, but I'll still going out having a good time. Like, I don't think I'm a boring person unless you know, I'm talking about politics which had I know. Anything about, you know, all they'd be like, oh, come on. Just to this one thing that went supporting me. They were looking for ways to bring me down and a lot of the time that I took it as an insult like I was somehow indirectly insulting name. You saying on the big drink? No, I'm just not drinking like, oh, well, you saying I'm Pat? No, no, that's that's your dream in Nitra about that. The people don't wanna feel as someone's going to leave them behind. I don't want you to get too far ahead of yourself, so that way more not lock me anymore as a terrible part of human motions. But it's something that people actually do and they want us like social loafing. Like when you're in a workplace, you'll are the if the positive health environment, the majority of the population in the workplace, a following a healthy way of life, then you'll follow suit. Whereas if it's a less optimal, you tend to full to the less optimal way unless you go to very strong resolution. Otherwise, you tend to sort of if you'll fifty fifty something, you'll tend to fold to the majority. We're having a really strong wind and having a really strong support network can go tribe that max really big different to success. Success outcome. Terms and that start just nutrition wise, that's probably crucible would awards Detroit important to us Lou. We're talking a lot about carrots and sticks. We have this thing, these things, these carrots that are designed to make going certain directions, cortisol stress, hormones sticks. They guide you in the right direction, but they also give you a hit on the us when you need it to go faster. There are things like oxytocin, serotonin serotonin your pride from inside hormone. It's things that make you think you feel good about yourself and you feel proud of doing stuff, but you cannot get that by yourself. You need someone else to get Sarah Tynan. You need to try to actually have Sarah times the things that bought tribes together. Let's face it. We've only got really small close, not very shop Tate, and we don't run very fast. If we're in the jungle where tossed a main everything is going to most down innate ages for lunch. But the reason we're able to survive for the last few million years is we have a try. An all lies hormone that some. It's a really interesting one. I think we were sit. She tribe days days. Like I think it's interesting that we don't tend to have that signed for the family unit that we used to. We don't send. To have sort of potentially religious sort of ties that we might use to, which is why things like finding your tribe on social media refund, and you try via the, you know, a local gym or something like that is definitely something we cry, but it just shows you the importance of having that backing from group of people is so important. You know together we can go fast, but we can go further when with a group about tribes when you've got that tribe and you know, you try and exercise to give up doing things that are really positive. I'll get a massive amount of buzz from training with all the people that I don't go anywhere near as hot when Obama sell. Just Mike, the whole exercise things a lot more fun I fully get. I'm just not happy at all some of my friends Margie somewhere doing something that, yeah, more even just be a sweaty session that we did before, but they're doing it without may annoy height that right research around group exercise, and that she had experience in the visual Fionn impacts of that. There's actually a scientific explanation as to why group exercise over individual exercises. A lot more compa-. Filling and a lot more positive, I think. So there's definitely something to that as well. Raleigh sessions and hang around off the woods. Comradery is massive. It's. Have disdained bayton bayton down the exact same way and you're all doing it together. But there's something about doing that group, the grow session, Raleigh, straight. You push an extra one percent view teammates. Definitely. The those people that come back from war. These people have shades really hot experience with and that become even taught us. I've doing nice things that are difficult and doing a really hot gym sessions with people around you. Actually, Mike size bonds Totta and it's one of those things that talk about in the book about how to Mike stress. Nonstick you have to have the safety of a tribe. You go to feel as if you contributing to that draw and you've got to have on a self awareness. I think if you have a life, three things sticking fitness call and things like that become a lotta Asia they do for me anyway. The steps to making that Trump. I think probably the biggest thing about the tribe is sort of giving rather than getting. And I think a lot of people look at those sorts of things and you look at things like I did a talk a while, a guy for chemical business networking international, and they're their catch cries, give his guy. And the whole idea of this tribe is that you've got to give to other people and it was a great why debate. I think when you building a try, people look at what they can get out of it rather than what they can put in. It's like liberally developing those, oh cooperation that deliberately develop. Mental, they're looking for way to grow the looking for ways to support each other as opposed to looking ways of progressing their own individual Korea's in a Mexican big difference. So getting back into the white Los mindset and had a hack stress. This is probably one for you more than Harriet is what does some things you feel like when you feel hungry, like what's what's making us feel hungry as a few different things as it is. There's a physiological sort of hormone grill in is the Hungle hormone, and that's what sort of impacting ow derive to eight. And there's also, you know, people want to eight his well connected feel hungry. We, I know we will bull like they of say, all, look, I'm not hungry. I know I'm not. I'm not getting that Grumbly feeling that empty feeling my stomach and somebody will actually forget what it feels like to be hungry, the actual Hunga because air eighteen so frequently, I forget the physiological response of that sort of empty feeling the cutback this slot spike in the grill and homo, which is driving them to to start looking for food. And we know when we. A little bit more stressed. We might be going food even though we're not easy illogically in need of a meal. And so actually being aware of your body's cues tuning in on those a little bit more is actually a really effective. You know, it's mindful eating its tuning into those cues at tell us when it's way good to eight and one way right to stop. I think we don't tend to listen to those as well as we used to. I think as kids, we were all told to eight and two with eight and everything on plight, and the generation of people who don't know what it feels like to be pleasantly full, but not, you know, stuff to the the eyeballs these days. So there's a few physiological things that are going on in terms of hunger and definitely that whole monal drive they are, but then feel about those feelings you get when you're not in your stomach and you feeling anxious in something that feels a little lower Congo it feels exactly like hunger the is that the quotas always Tony off your digestive system. So the blood is running out of your dodgers exists because it doesn't need to dodge ist while you're running away. And targets, so that feeling of having not seen your stomach and south is a hell of a lot like Hunga. And it's also that discomfort that goes back to the thing we were talking about before you want something that makes you feel good and aiding generally makes you feel good. It's a funny little sort of fade back late, but I definitely think defeating of hunger is definitely something that we've kind of forgotten a lotta people have forgotten, and I'm getting people to sit of shooting today, accused alga keys and they're like, oh, I actually have forgotten what it feels like to be hungry, just that general feeling of grumbles emptiness. Yeah. An unfortunate. And you do it and put sugar into a system that's already full of sugar, and then you feel crap about yourself and you get even more stress and then you start storing fat around new belly and around you live off the thirst. We'll do it as well. I think you guys did a podcast on fasting a little while ago that you lose all the salt with that. There's different sort of triggers for people over rating under eating. And sometimes it's also back of underrating too much. I get to five o'clock in they in ravenous and the, you know, they go to the cupboard, and that's a good point. You go to. I mean the carbon halfway through seeks muffins doughnuts, whatever Wayne should all I and you said to stop thinking breathe to say, I do think in breath and on many, many calories into moist helping would you call it before something in the loop? What do I do right then? And this is this is a real lot like people people who are struggling with White House. This is what they're doing. The hitting the it, they're in there. They feeling bad side. I get in the loop and they should get off the chalky keys and grab those ones. I've a day, how bad is it and what should I do Oregon, the Kate of that sort of thing. If you're going to have a fight between the world and you'll willpower the world is going to win a guarantee. Willpower is a good thing. It's corner luck. Muscle denied the more you use it, the stronger gets, but it definitely runs out a statement, some stage willpower. Woo Pella is doing the hottest thing when the hottest thing is the right thing to do intrinsic motivation. That thing that you don't rely as to why you're doing things and it's doing the things that when no one else is watching, you'll still do like it's doing the hottest thing when the hottest thing is the right thing to do. I thought that was pretty cool since. Kapadia. Fantastic. Yeah, issue, one of a work. There's always junk food out in the back whenever I'm having a busy dial and getting a bit stressed. I go out there and ate of actually stopped going out to the room where the food is and try doing some a tidy breeding for a couple of minutes. It sounds really hippyish fit. I'd just lied and brave and it calms me down and gets rid of some of that stress whole in the system. And I don't go out and he chuckled kikes. I'll find it really helps he and put some law damn belly breathing in deal programs. I always put mindfulness in like when people have those issues with will lead struggling. We hang out to stop an actually recognize Hunga. This is stress definitely be encouraging people to take up things like mine phone mindfully. How did we get through? Obviously, when we stress we're not craving Tina tuna. No one was come home from a big diet work. Instead I'll want some fat free homeless with some celery. It's never happened. What are we doing in that play? Do we have a little area that we go? Okay, we're going to be. No, he we got into the naughty Cohen are all do. We do. We do. We handle this stretch from. Some die announced to sit lary guy. I think it's a couple of steps along the way that you you can sort of transition with, which is important. And that's also coming down to identify when you hold split. Thaw is doing the pre modem and going k. I normally hang chocolate at three PM and that's really common, what am I going to have instead I'm going to have a chocolate five into protein shake, and we'll like a homemade protein bowl, something like that. That something a little bit swayed a little bit nice spot. It's not as boring as you know, chop veggies, which I do put on people's meal plans very, really get eaten. Give can be some Trump veggies. There's a really cool thing. When you're on a strict aiding plan, it's called the panic button effect. They did this study in the states with. I got people to do this really difficult cognitive task, and I said, in front of the computer and that they had to do it, and that is really loud annoying noise it was like Iran, so the sand in the background and that could right how, how? Well I did this task and they got one group decide, look, we've got this noisy. Sorry, there's nothing we can do about it. Just do the test and we'll see how you guy. And the other group that gave a little button and said, look, the noise is there we know it's annoying, but if you could just do the task anyway, if you really have to, you can press the button and stop it. And what they found is that all the people that did the test with I had the option of stopping the noise. None of them stopped it, but I did much better on the task. You can actually hack your Bryant a little bit. You can sort of take some of the stress out of it by signed. Look, I can't do this if I want to. I'm not going to a guy and it's doing the hard thing when the hottest things the right thing to do dating buys. I haven't at work all the time and I signed to myself. I'm not going to break the fast. Yeah, I'm not gonna. Do it yet. But I know if I really, really have to go out in the protein bars there as a fullback. They must sort of panic button if you like, yeah, actually have these thing at work. It's like a time release Saif and I'll put my protein. It's like a time released, Tupperware and I put my prior any Bosnian that actually invented the idea and then discover that someone else's do it. It's like a little Saif has a time the lock on the top. You turn a little doll and press the button. It actually actually still in protein buys in that. So I know I can have a park shame bothering. I'm not going to have one for another hour and a half learning to c. n. bay a little bit uncomfortable as well. Like I think it's important to get comfortable with discount getting and comfortable with a little bit of hunger, getting uncomfortable, getting comfortable with a little bit of discomfort of I know that I want to eight that I don't have to eight. This heels really uncomfortable. And because one of the time they say as well, you know, we try and overlapped his comfort with scrolling through social media when we're feeling rather than facing facing that threat full-on face to face. We try and look for a distraction and just tractions have they placed differently. But I also think you know, and this is. Really on track with what you're saying is that we go to be comfortable. We learn to be out to deal with stress in a positive manner. And we go to learn with this comfort of not aiding the crappy food all the time. It's it's uncomfortable to make change. And if we go into it knowing it's going to be a little uncomfortable, we can make that this coming all. Yup, I expected this on your. This was coming that sap discomfort. I was feeling like I was going to pass. You get these little wives Grela when you really, really hungry, just go to sift. I was seeing and get through them. They go away. We have this tendency to have habits on things. We have breakfast at Ida clock and eleven o'clock. You're hungry, and you get little wives at different times while you grow in spikes and all of his had a habit, it's not a biological thing. You just go to China habits this like, oh, Daniel Kaneman who wanna Nobel prize in economics, and he's cola gist. And he talked about that. We don't understand ration- coded, duration neglect, or you can actually put up with something being uncomfortable for wall and lighter on your amendment that it was uncomfortable. You don't remember how long it was uncomfortable full. It's interesting. Very funny little thing, organisms us humans Knauss just wrapping this up. Look top three hacks for being stressed Teflon in law. Well, we've got three foundations, the three foundations. I need to save a tribe. You gotta have pride from contributing to that tribe and you've got to have own self awareness. You can't bullshit yourself Harriet, top three hacks full stressful aiding. Oh, well, I, if I'm going to pick off the back of Luke's and say bay curious, but not judgmental. So looking at looking at that the reasons why I think changing your food environment way possible. So if you have a, you know, pack of little chocolate frogs on the front of top-drawer, get rid of them and give a little bit hot a few to access those foods and also doing that that pre mortem is being aware of when you hot spots are and instead of completely ignoring them coming up with a plan for what you're gonna do next time and being proactive in front foot with those ones as well, I think is he's top three in the preliminary complementary and good reading in his puff stress Teflon. And you could rating in Syria? I think the general. Mindful movement is lots if you just type in Montfermeil nece. There is multiple aiding their lots of lots of awkward a chapter in there. I, I call them on awareness. I couldn't just couldn't bring myself to use mindfulness. It just sounds just sounds so terrible. I actually call them wind away and it's just to understand what you're thinking and why you're thinking. I really love the concept rather than mournful nece because the hassle with that is you get all these Bs in monk sitting in eastern hills to bit talking about mindfulness and no one really wants to be that very transient things to life. We give too much credit to our emotions. Wait, you know, we'll be flip-flopping every five minutes, you know, playing along game in terms of mood and approach to food. And the long game is always the most important when you're going to have crappy days and just looking for them waiting for my spies rather than being without being totally negative. Understand there's going to be hot days and you become better at them. The more you choose to sort of face him front on. I think look, thanks for coming inherit. Thank you again. Thank you. Dress Teflon available at stress, Teflon dot com. Grab yourself, a copy. Have a good raid. Harry. Thank you. Again, you are legend. You've set in big Maxine today. Feel big shoes on the floor. He what. Right field just yet feels good going to get you back and talk about metabolism with him very soon. Thanks goes. This week's podcast is brought to you by friends, a good price, pharmacy nutrition, warehouse nationally, and Mr. Solomon dot com dry. You.

Harriet Walker Luke maye Brian cortisol dopamine Teflon dot Mike metabolic disease NORAD Whitelaw Bruce Tigers Bryan PayPal Heff Dopamine
Have A Path

WCRI Flash Brief

02:16 min | 9 months ago

Have A Path

"Hi Shukla hosted web comic amusement of Youth Today have a path. First obvious caveat. If you're suffering from severe depression freshen Somebody down and talk to that person. Get help immediately. Look easy if you're on this planet a little bit longer voice whereas it believe it or or not and if you can actually find something that you can help you through it so much better. The bottom line is if you need help do not be afraid to seek out definitely. Don't don't be ashamed about it. Trust me it happens. We're not going to judge you on. It might actually be proud before it. That's part of being a writer. You're going to be dealing with minor thousand depression every so often issues. Part of the job Death and destruction as we do on a regular basis. It's really hard not to be depressed at least once in a while. Because you don't want to have some way of dealing with it some sort of coping mechanism. Well sure she gestured. Here's you you have some sort of way physically going out and getting away from the keyboard actually just get those dopamine levels started going up and going well you know if need to go on twitter walk grow on a bike path goal weight room but have some sort of direction that when you share getting the fresh. You're dealing with it. Yeah I can be she yesen cover can be suggesting your sludgy back. I could be guessing just really basic simple ways like taking that but the reality is that sometimes you need physical exercise plus it's a lot healthier than going to your big carton of ice cream joining morning so have something you can do some where you can go and established quickly as possible. You Know Gay Club membership ship. Find that we're all the bike paths in your area you need. You just actually got a really nice walk around town. You know something. You're going to be the depression and you're GONNA be some way jealous. It usually IOS pack chip. You WanNa hear more. Please check out a web common. I'm an Eugene interviews. They'll e Hijaz distributor near you. Thank you have a great day.

depression Hi Shukla Hijaz dopamine twitter writer physical exercise Eugene
Driving Rats, Repeat

The Good News Podcast

04:54 min | Last month

Driving Rats, Repeat

"Hi I'm calling your host for the good news podcast and I'm neil the other host. The good news podcast is your source for Good News Fun Stories, Auditory Delight, and Sonic. Joy. We're bringing you all of this goodness from beautiful downtown Chicago. We're talking about driving ooh cars. Yeah. Cars cars, unicycles everyone's talking about automated driving systems right? cars, drive themselves. Yeah. So what if you they are happening there happening in different places picture this the years twenty, twenty one. You. You're taking your electric powered self-driving lift equivalent future lift its frisked. You've you've ordered your rift, it's an electric car and it pulls up and it's not fully automated. It is driven by a rat. No. Kidding me. Okay Hold. Hold your horses. Hills are disgusting. Hate unrest talking about rest before. Driver excuse me put your tail in your pants. Music sucks this. Just from the BBC researchers at the University of Richmond, have taught seventeen rats, how to drive little cars. These little cars are like clear plastic shoe boxes. and inside the rats. Sit on like a metal plate and there's a wire in front of them that allows them to go forward and steer and as a reward they get little bits of cereal. Says that what you do do you tip them cereal? They're like. Here's the thing. So rats, rats that grew up in a cage yeah could drive less. than. Rats that had like a more interesting environment like wild rats like an enriched environment is what they call it like. Cage rats brains are a bit dull. Yeah. Stunted going on I know. But here is the kicker this really made me smile again, made the rat smile. After driving the little rat cars, rat mobiles if you will. After these rats have their little rat guys. They were happier what they had job. They had like a a release dopamine. There were less stress they were more relaxed and the researchers I'm sure that like after they did this experiment, they were like scrambling trying to figure out like how do we explain that we've been? Teaching to drive cars. Coming tomorrow. Have released findings that imply like maybe this can lead us towards treatments for depression anxiety that are not related to medicine some purely just situational or environmental treatments for depression and anxiety. Yeah that's good. I. Can't imagine driving a lift is going to cure your depression. No. Me More anxious I, wonder if these rats felt such pride the way they. It says about accomplishing something or it's just about getting that tree I mean you gotta get out some cereal I'm feeling. Edgy. That ferriol if you got into a car with a rap driving it, would you still take that ride? Yes Yes to see what happens. Yeah it's like a rat like running side to side along the steering wheel back and forth that's out steers. Yeah. That's I would be like let's just see where this goes and I guess there's a second rat on the pedals God. Thanks for listening. Do you have good news incredible or maybe WANNA. Tell a joke or idea? Excellent. Email us at. Hello at the good news PODCASTS DOT FM. Or leave us a voicemail at seven, seven, three, one, seven, zero, one, five, six. You can also tweet us at the good news. Pot and follow us on Instagram to and if you loved the good news podcasts, think about supporting us on our patriotic page must have our music is by Paddington. Bear.

depression Chicago Sonic University of Richmond dopamine BBC
Goodbye to Alcohol - How we go from Liking to Wanting to Needing Alcohol

Goodbye to Alcohol

23:06 min | Last month

Goodbye to Alcohol - How we go from Liking to Wanting to Needing Alcohol

"Welcome to alcohol podcast from about one. With the won't say advice. Already. Is Is. Whole. So Curious Is The podcast for you? Go recovery stories twin spy. Exposed. Plenty of advice on how to. Change. Hello. Hello. I'm trying to go wrong I'm the founder of world without wine and I'm your host for this podcast. As we approach the end of series to. I sold it was about time I didn't solo episode. Of the lost one I did was way back in series one episode one when I shave my sorry tale of how I got hooked on the Booze During the other episodes that we've been doing, we've heard from other members of our community have very bravely shirt how they became all called dependent. So how come all these lovely people in our community worked. On, the booze after we're all intelligent highly functioning people. How do we go from just liking alcohol? So wanting uncle hall. And finally to needing alcohol. Well today I'm delving a little deeper into the science of alcohol. Dependency. I'm going to explain the vicious cycle that setup by two key hormones in our body. It's a case of the Dino Phen- versus the endorphins which sounds like something out of Star Wars. But let me explain. So the science behind alcohol dependence. Let's look at how years of regular drinking will actually rewire our brains. Now many of start drinking and all twenties and also to. We're building our careers growing our families. It's busy intense period. All of our friends seemed to be drinking as well. Lots of socializing going on. It's all completely normal. We don't think twice about it. And then we get into our forties and sometimes fifties. If you're late developed ally was on, we discover price surprise that drinking copious amounts of wine actually isn't very good fro health and they're all significant health risks. So we read about these health risks, and then we discover that the safe limits of alcohol. The recommended limit is a bottle and a half of wine a week, and then we get skirt because we realize that sometimes we've been knocking that back in evening. So we decided to make a change. But the frightening thing is that it's not as easy as we expected. If we decide to cut down for example, it's extremely difficult. Maybe we'll try and quit altogether and that's tough to. In my case, I spent ten years trying control mitering King, and in the end I gave out pen just ditch the stuff completely, which was much easier but that's another story. The harsh truth that if you drink consistently over a period of about twenty years, it's almost guaranteed that you'll develop a problem with alcohol a dependency. Twenty is might sound like a long time but. you know takes you from the twentieth older forty years old and there's this. Little bit older. Now, we can tell you that pulses in the Blink Kevin I. Say. Let's look at the science. Let's unpack what goes on in our brains after two case of drinking. Well there's three things happening but before we unpack those. The first thing you need to know is that alcohol creates an endorphin spike off brain. All brain isn't too happy about this. Because up likes to think keep everything in balance it likes to maintain home stasis as it's called. When it sees this artificial chemicals spike. It immediately produces a hormone called Dino orphan to dampen that spike down to calm everything down a bit. So, we get all nice balls that we get from alcohol. That's the endorphin. But then as you softly that Buzzer only lasts for about twenty minutes because by then the dine orphans produced to calm things down a paid. So what do I drink do? Well, we trot often get another drink and we because we want that balls to be maintained. So then our brain thinks okay, it's going to be like that is and it produces more often, and then we get another drink can then we got more time. And so it goes on. And the result of this is that over time we need more `alcohol to get the same effect to get the same box. And in fact, was the end of my drinking career as I call it. I could drink two bottles of wine fail nothing on. That's scary. So now let's look at those three things are happening. Well, the first thing that happens is alcohol causes the endorphin spike which explained. But what also happens is that you get a dopamine hit about quite nice as well. That's we all know dopamine is the feel good hormone. But what you may not know is that dopamine is also what the scientists are calling these days the learning molecule. It not only makes you feel good. But associates everything that's going around to while you'll feeling so good. So for example, if you have a favorite ball that you still paying on your way home from work, for example, and you eat tend to meet the same people that say music is playing, the dopamine will learn to associate all out with you feeling good. So what happens then is the dopamine creates what we now call triggers. So, you might be walking pulse that ball with no intention of going in really. But the the trigger will will be pulling you tools the tool. So we'll know what triggers are and okay, it's no no big deal we get triggered and those of US stuff stop drinking. We still have a glimmer of a trigger, but they they fade with time. You're listening to. PODCASTS from world about why. Okay. So the first step is triggers all created. Now the second thing that happens is a bit more serious because your brain is going to stop preempting leads triggers. So let's go back to all ball if you're walking neo ball. Planning to walk past your brain is going to stalk getting excited because some tissier acting the drinks that happen when you you're in this area. So your brain, which obviously is highly intelligent starts thinking, oh, she's going to get those drinks something. We're GONNA have a be chemical spike in a moment. Let's let's call down in advance with some dine orphan and then when when it comes, it won't be such a serious pulse. So, what happens is that orphan than makes us feel kind of low so we will actually need to go in the bar and help a drink to feel normal again because that's what nine often does it brings us down. Now the third and the most dangerous thing is when all bodies become so reliant on alcohol that we can no longer produce dopamine naturally. On the consequence of this sees is catastrophic because it means that we lose. In everyday pleasures. Walking in the park chatting to a friend reading a book. Just doesn't hit with sports anymore, all the interests assist chemical high from alcohol. An even that's going to stop working. We'll need alcohol just feel normal. That really is the description of alcoholism and I don't think any of us want to that. So. Let's summarize here. There's there's three things on in your brain that is creating this dependency. The first thing is that the dopamine create triggers because it's associated your drink habits and that nine feeling with certain events, certain people, session places. So, what happens is it starts preempting triggers. and. That means that you'll feel low if you don't have a drink sophie walking past the ball and hugh. Feel a bit low you'll think, oh, I just need to go in a drink half a little pick me up because that's Often, and that's how it's make you feel. And thirdly, most seriously, your body will stop producing dopamine. So you call enjoy everyday pleasures. You'll dopamine will only be released when you're drinking alcohol. So what happens is your natural dopamine receptors? We'll get a bit lazy they'll think Oh. Okay. She's going to be drinking to make feel good. So she doesn't really need us to do anything so we might as well put off each. and. If that's happening for years and years do stop drinking you're going to have to wait for those dopamine receptors to come out of retirement because almost forgotten how to do the job. But I can reassure you that they do come back to life again I'm afraid account take awhile it can say a few months. and. That's why people in early subur- sobriety often feel a bit flats. It takes a while for the dopamine to be naturally created again. And that's why it's so important to take periodic breaks from alcohol you need to test you dependence because if you call go for a significant period without alcohol, then it means this process is beginning. You know the triggers are the the brain is pre-empting triggers. Your natural dopamine is getting lazy but if you keep taking regular breaks than you keeping everything in balance and your natural dopamine will carry on working. So, if you think that you do need to take a break, then please have a look at also spring challenge. It actually starts on the twenty first of September which is two days. After this podcast comes out, you can see all the information on wealth without wine dot com. But in a nutshell, sixty six alcohol-free days and is long enough to rewire your brain again but in a positive direction this time. You got audio support you get online support, and most importantly you get community support. And just to give you a taste for that community support to read an email. No. Sorry. Not an email of what's out message that I saw just now from all existing sober spring group. So we have to sober springs every year one that starts on the first of September on the second one which thoughts on the twenty. So. This was on the what's up group this morning of the existing sopa spring people I think this lady puts it far better than than I could sound just going to reach her message. I'm loving this spring bus, we call it the bus. It's definitely working for me is so great to be part of it. Thank you all for sharing the articles. The music quotes, the inspirations, the pets, the pulse stories, the alcohol, free products, the alcohol, free cocktails, the health updates, the podcast, your honesty, and last, but not least your disclosures about how you're all feeling. Somehow the second so we can doesn't seem so daunting. So, people are loving the service bring bus. So we've still got a bit of real an second sober spring sign up now. If you're listening to this way later than September thinking, Oh, I would have liked to gill that. So spring bus and don't worry just sanderson email at world without wine at to Mel Dot Com, and we'll make your plan because we do have. Sixty six day challenges at various times of the year we just wait until we've got a certain number of people because that community support is essential and then we set off new challenge. So just getting in touch with us and we'll make plan. So to round off this episode, I'm going to read a few of the emails to you these emails that we send out during the sixty six days to keep you on track and to get you thinking really they're just bite size piece of information on we just want to stimulate your thinking around alcohol because I think the so. Many myths around all, call it far too much credit these days don't we think it's we can't possibly be happy without it, which is not instances his automatic potion. So let me just read a couple of emails because. Give you a flavor for what the challenges like. Slow I'm quite fond of my first twenty is called be rebel. I wish thought I was quite rebellious and when I started drinking heavily when I was a teenager I thought. I'm so rock and roll but in fact these days you know if if you drink a lot, then you're pitiful sheep because everyone is drinking a lot. And the real rebels not drinking anything at all. So that's the spirit of this one. So let me read you this. You're listening to the. Cows from world. If, you'd like a bit of support to change your relationship with all coupled them. PEACE CHECK HAD MEMBERSHIP PROGRAM ON WELD WITHOUT WIND DOT com. Be rebel. A lot of this sobriety gave me psychological. That's workshops are based on creating a mind shift rather than coming from a place of deprivation. Willpower. One you think of the billions spent by the liquor industry to brainwash us into believing that we need the products. It's little wonder some of the scout who wrote. The wine industry of done an exceptional job at targeting the ladies so that some of US fail it's quite impossible to have a full and happy life without it. And then you have the fact that drinking alcohol has become. So normalized makes its appearance at just about every event from Christening to a funeral. Not to mention the fact that alcohol is chemically designed to be addictive. It's the lubricating oils. All social life is like gasoline of fun or is it? How `Bout we get a bit rebellious here on, go against the grain move out of comfort zone and even defy social expectations a little. I. Know I started to drink because I just wanted to fit in. And yes, it takes a fair amount of confidence and courage to socialize sober unto death to be different. But it does get easier. And we have so many alcohol-free choices available these days. So maybe it's time to rise above all that social conditioning. After all, we got wise about cigarettes. We now know the kill you and then not particularly cool or sexy. The latest research on alcohol maintains that there is no safe level of alcohol, and if we want to be really healthy, then we may need to ditch drink entirely. So let's get ahead of the game and see booths for what it really is a poisonous trap. So that's one of the emails I'm going to read you another one now called about the bus because that fits quite nicely with the the endorphin spike you remember because that's what creates the balls. So let's learn a little bit more about that both. There is a cultural myth about alcohol that the more we drink the best will feel. In ringleted is first couple of drinks to indy take you up. The body experiences an energizing effect creating a feeling of sociability and relaxation, and that's why we love it so much. Clever moderators will recognize that in the initial boss the enjoy it, and then those switch to non alcoholic drinks as they continue to enjoy their evening. However, those of us without an office which will seek to deepen an increase the balls so we'll continue to drink alcohol. Subtly, this is when the depressant and negative effects of alcohol likely to click in. Bringing us down them prolonging the high. The down may come at the end of the evening with. Tears. At three. Am when you wake help feeling swamped with anxiety. or in the morning with a good old fashioned hanging over, but it will come. That's the thing about alcohol and any other drug for that matter there's a high price to pay for the bus. A good thing to remember is that this far ick high, we get softer tool three losses of wine will only last about twenty minutes. And drinking more alcohol will only result in negative consequences. So use your sixty six days to forego chemical highs and workout what gives you a natural high instead. His one about moderation. The only thing to overhaul. World, without why. If you're one of those people who's always trying to moderate alcohol intake to safe levels I one and a half bottles of wine week. Then the challenge may provide you with a very pleasant surprise. I spent an entire decade of my life trying and failing to moderate I had so many rules in place as to when I could and couldn't drink it was existing. Then, when I finally surrendered to the fact that I would never build to moderate and would have stopped drinking completely everything changed. I felt an enormous sense of relief. I felt calm and was so pleased to get the head space to think about more interesting subjects than how many units on got left to drink that week. With. The benefit. Of Hindsight I can see that I was never going to build to moderate a mind altering drug. A substance that has been chemically designed to be addictive. After, we don't hear about people trying to moderate the heroin intra intake doing. So anyone who struggles to keep the alcohol consumption within the recommended limits. Take some joy from your time freedom. Then you might just find you want to make your alcohol-free life permanent. The last email I'm going to read is the Franck parable and Is Again, emphasizing the importance of taking a break to make sure you don't end up like this frog. The FROG parable. When I was consulting in corporates I would often tell the parable of the frog when I was trying to convince an organization that it had to change the story guys like this. Throw a frog into a panel boiling multi-annual who uses strong bags to leap out. Pretty dumb quake. Place a frog in cold water pan, which is heating gently honest unhealed, get and just sit the. and carry on sitting there until the water heats up and he gets boiled alive. I realized that this parable can apply to drinking alcohol. Many of US drink for many years without any dramas but gradually, some of us will ever. So slowly get hoped. We will one day realise that we really help an `alcohol free day. We're quite happy to not back a both Levine during an evening balloon and most of all socializing seems to revolve around `alcohol. The joy of having trial separation for sixty six days is that you get to see just how dependent you may have become. You can reflect on your usual relationship with alcohol and decide whether or not you need to make some changes. Okay. So that's giving you a little taste, the flavor of the support that we offer the sober spring challenge. Of course, the the main thing the main support comes from the community. There's nothing like a whole bunch of people going through a challenge like this. They're all on the same day at the same time and submitted people fall off the bus from time to time. But the the warmth of the group lift them up and get them straight back on the bus, which is what matters. So, do hop onto world without wind dot com and have a look at the so spring challenge and see if it appeals to you. If you want to do a challenge anyway, just email us at world without wine. Dot. com. Thank you listening, please subscribe, and chair see time. If you enjoyed this podcast them please check out the world without winds subscription membership program. Is these central resuls for anyone looking to change their relationship alcohol. Whether you're looking to Monterey sewer even quit drinking completely. Eight step program will hope he sought seed. We'll connect you with all support him. Community will add Utah to day alcohol-free challenge. We'll track your progress on a monthly basis fund that's just for starters. For more information on the benefits of membership program. TO WORLD WITHOUT ONE DOT COM

dopamine endorphin US uncle hall founder Dino Phen Monterey mitering King Kevin I. Utah Mel Dot Com Levine Dot. gill sanderson ringleted heroin sixty six days twenty minutes
Falling In Love - Part 2: Honeymoon Phase

Making Love and Growing Up

44:50 min | 1 year ago

Falling In Love - Part 2: Honeymoon Phase

"Hey everyone host Olivia O'Brien here. Welcome to another episode of making love and growing up. I cannot wait for you to listen into the show. We have for you today but before you keep going don't forget that this episode is part tube a falling in love continuing conversation from last last week. There's a a lot of conversation that ties in to the other so if you go back and listen to falling in love part one on attraction and then come back here for part two so with that being said let's get into falling in love part to the honeymoon phase that place in the Spongebob Bill the third rock bottom. That's me all my rock bottom one of good metaphor the dating and lost no it's not okay so the factors of falling in love like actually starting to attached include proximity similarity reciprocity and physical attractiveness so all of these things kind of combine allow you to actually start to fall in love with someone and I'm going to get into like what's going to happen. Inside your body the science of that a little later now wait a second so the things that make you who attracted to somebody initially that even like less so just want to have sex with them are also things that can make you fall in love with them once you form an attachment so it's missing between. Love Love and lust is attachment. Yes I think also sometimes we hear the word honeymoon phase and we automatically think it's a negative thing like Oh. They're just in the honeymoon phase but but I think it's really important to realize that no this is an amazing natural beautiful essential thing to forming connections with people that help bond us sure but also don't be a Dick save your and I like Google and talk about Christian. If you do who these people are bird about that story died two steps waiver don't have soclean flop it on it to get it on your daughter learning but like a sexual partner winner is respected love it. It's a hard journey on people go on boyfriend island ended. It actually ends up being really unhealthy. I mean oh you mean like friends ditching friend honeymoon phase weakling history with that happening outing hand. I'm like Oh okay so you didn't even mention this before but we have the same definition for falling in love. That's I'm falling in. Love is the development of strong feelings of attachment and love which is you can't put love in your definition for love wake up because if I don't know what love means means mom used to define words with the more complicated definition. I'd be like mom what is star cast it means. She'd be like subtly Sardonic. Oh who thinks mom Dan thank you. The term is metaphorical emphasizing the process like the Physical Act of falling sudden uncontrollable and leaves the lover ever in a vulnerable state similar to fall ill or fall into a trap which is funny because I always thought that fall in like falling in love meant like I was literally okay. I always picture falling off a cliff and landing on my face and smacking my skull against the pavement. That's when I picture fine only only God history or how many times cried this episode internally only seven. I have not cried yet. This is all funny because it's in retrospect so you associated with falling in love with the pain yes even in the beginning. That's so sad so my we're having a psychological so even like a honeymoon phase. That sounds terrifying to you. Yes because it's never been reciprocal. That's so even now even right now. I don't know it's I I always picture falling us something you cannot control and the big point that we need to bring up is the fact that it. It's something that you're like like. I remember when I when I fell in. I love the most recent time I guess was like. I did not want to fall in love. I was like no no and yet I did and I couldn't help but I could not help it did that. Denial phase actually a part of what your brain is going through the five stages of grief. There's also stages of falling in love which ensure you've discovered through your research research so it's almost like we all feel craisins. We literally are kind of go crazy. Crazy GonNa look switched on now craze around now. No I'm sorry beyond so I thought we were. GonNa keep going. I was about version. I didn't want to keep going and a disrespect the Queens so Livia. What is the science. What's what's going on in the brain while we are falling in love yes so to start out. We've got dopamine dopamine <hes> which is created in the brain and Adrenal Reynaud glance in enhances the release of testosterone dopamine affects various organs including the genitals glands and also the sentence want the senses of wow well. I'm like our brain affects our generals wars. It's so weird when you wait. Dopamine effects are gently of course it travels down travel's. Oh my I'm freaking. What is dopamine you ask. Dopamine is one of the brain's neurotransmitters a chemical that fairies information between the neurons dopamine helps regulate movement attention learning and emotional Oceano response it also enables us to not only <hes> see rewards but to take action to move towards them so if I go on a run does that go to my genitals I mean I think it goes all over your body so that would include your genitals. I don't know why we generals and I think of balls. I think like genders surged halls. You know what I mean a hard. Hey yes in the early stages of love. You sweat more your this is all the dopamine the opening rush of like being in constant contact with a person that you're stoked upon and this is where the reward awesome comes in which is next but like you're getting a release of dopamine when you are with this person so yeah you're gonNA. Sweat more your your attention is going to go all towards them like you hone in on the one thing that is giving you that release is that you just hurry. Honan Scientifically Coin Lim Rinse. It's not quite sexual but it's just this drive towards the person so limits can happen outside of sexual relationships. It's like an Szeswith you like. I have a friend that like I don't even know in person but ah like I've. I've not met her in person. I'm like are you my other half you know and I'm like I want to hang out with you and go on trips and stuff like I'm like Whoa. I like really am into this person but like not sexually. I think we'll find out but like I'm just drawn to this person. That's a state of limits which has to do with when you're starting to attach and relationships most likely not going to be falling in love with a bunch of people all at once Paul. Marie is an interesting thing that we can get into later but I don't think it's for everyone I think is is really for some people and I think it is. It's clear I'm saying. I don't think people like Oh. Hey so hard to polly falling in love with Zoli I'm like I don't think polly's Holly's for you. Then I think polly's people stay calm around multiple people. They're building relationships. Yes yeah and honest about in yeah absolutely testosterone I staw- surround specifically because dopamine enhances the release of testosterone La Musty who doesn't have testy testosterone increases sexual desire desire but also increases aggressive behavior and behaviorally may push someone to pursue the one who is fueling this intense response aggression towards it's that person so all of these factors that are chemically going on in our brains are literally drawing life like be map. Scotty towards this person like 'em beat Navey. DSM Me Scotty. That's a new you one shirt. They did a study on women and they found that elevated levels of Cortisol were released in their body when they thought about the person that they were in love with which as actually like an anti anti-stress so it's like a stress buffering hormone so it actually makes you like chill out more. All of these things are like good things are happening in your body the neurotransmitter of northern Efren us to do with this whole process as well which is as zeroing in factor inside of your body <hes>. It's a stimulant so it makes if you feel alert potentially unable to sleep literally when you fall in love. You lose a need for sleep. It's literally a symptom and so you just fill it with you. Don't have all been there. I only got every time I've gone into a new relationship. We are literally up till four o'clock in the morning and I'm like it's chills. I'm good assumes zooms by now now. It's like nine forty five and a guys like what are you up to my own hard going to bed. I'm like on even text you right now. It is not in that yeah but my my jam but if we were in love I'd be like where are you come back. I know right like I'm ninety. Geelong or sweats or sexy sweats who said sex leaving fucking sweats from track in high school. That's still wear for me. I had zero secs right and you still fell in love and I very much fell in love but it was actually like I would argue that what I experienced danced was like an emotional intimacy which is not talked about as widely but physical intimacy they argue that like you fall out of the honeymoon phase because like like your lack of sleep and the fact that like you get on different sleeping schedules at some point and you normalize and stuff so it's like you're losing a lot of sleep so yeah it makes sense that you are obsessing over this one thing because your body's like you are perfect like that's the thing like. I will bring them back to Allen. Here with his essays in love like literally talking about everything about her is just adorable. I can't see anything other than how perfect she is and I can't believe she didn't want to go on this date with me because everything about her is perfect. It's because your body is giving you such a good would release with this person that you're like. I want to keep feeling this way. This way like leads me to not be a cynic anymore. I believe in love I believe in like fate fate. I believe in things that are like I didn't believe in before it gives you all of these wonderful feelings inside of your body that are chemical responses to being attached to a person so it's not surprising to me that people would be like. I WANNA fall headfirst into it. I just want to the cliff and smack my head on the pavement and like I do so we kind of just shouldn't fight it like I think a lot of people they'd get obsessive and they're like stop thinking about something. We should just let it happen. I mean it's really it's very normal and and honestly that's the thing that I want to say to while I was doing this research. I felt such relief honestly because like to know that like the things things that were going on inside of me when I was falling in love were completely normal across the board. This is a human thing that happened. I fell in love two or three weeks ago and yeah. I'm in the middle of that honeymoon fun time. I'm definitely someone who is like when the wave comes outright it you know if I'm like into a person I mean so this was a this was a fun one where I met her at a conference and took her on a date like the Friday at the end of the conference was gonNA drive to the airport but <hes> by the end of the date she decided to cancel her flight to New York and spend the weekends in La which was pretty fun. <hes> there's not there's a couple of contributing reasons. It wasn't just about what I think happens. When when you fall in love with someone is you you you get really like infatuated with like a particular couple things for me it. It was like the way that she listens and is present and like was honest and open and you you get in touch with which is good things about someone and get really excited about it and you like ignore you're able to see past all the layers of personality that are like difficult and and that's the beautiful thing like 'cause you dig into the depths of a person's like heart and soul that like you normally wouldn't promote the people you're seeing a person as they deserve to be seen as all people deserve to be saying to be honest I haven't. I don't think I've ever been in love with someone. I think I've been in love with illusions. I think I've been in love with with the ideas people have I was protecting them and making them out to be in my head who I wanted them to be rather than they actually were. I know what it feels like to be. Unhealthy attractive people people for example the men that I dated that I know were just the relationships are really toxic and they were abusive and stuff like that out like I was like compelled compelled if you will like there is like something about them that I dislike needed and there were serious and then my body. I felt I literally. This is so weird. I've noticed I put together every time I'm in the presence of somebody I feel attracted to. That's not healthy for me. My arm it's literally drips drip sweat and I will get hot and clammy and like my stomach will feel nervous and I use like attraction now. I know that it's like my body sending me signals at this person relationship. I've been gaining. It isn't safe. It wouldn't necessarily often when I was in their presence because I think I was so preoccupied with just love me man really even be aware of what my body was doing but I remember. It happened a lot more encounters with those guys sometimes. I don't know what the Hell's going on like. This is my first time being in love. I'm terrified while also feeling one hundred percent safe and home at the same time so I feel like there's this constant excitement within me me of like what's going to happen next. What are we can experience together next. What are the next steps but there's also like this overwhelming piece in me that just wants to just saber every single moment. I'm living at right now. I've only been dating this girl for about two months. I knew after three weeks <hes> I'm falling in love super cushy which is hilarious because all my life was like love. It's disgusting. It's not not real but I think that's depending on the model. You have loved growing up or like your parents marriage. If you have a nuclear family family and your parents together <hes> because if your parents get a divorce that really really kind of messes with you mentally Antonelli and how you view love and how you learned to digest over the errors to receiving giving it and then you sprinkle in like Christian shame aim impurity culture into that and yet. You're just you're kind of. You're kind of fucked. I don't know if I'm allowed to say that but it gets so messy. It's it's still beautiful because it's I think the most rock human thing that we all want everyone wants to be loved <music> okay so kind of ties into attachment theory but I think it's just interesting sort of goes into the union psychology so not Freudian the Union and Freud is actually very important to the oedipus complex. Do we all know about the complex and that's why I think a lot lot of guys like me because I work with your mom dude. I can't tell you how many times guys have tried to make me their mom. Oh my God I know that your mother no. I think that's you not loving yourself knowing that you are capable of love and a guy might just thinking super hot in million on good at Marketing Inc.. You say Olivia get off the floor. Union crawls back okay unions view the process a falling in love as one of projecting the anima or animus onto the other person person the Anima animus young described them as the unconscious masculine side of a woman and the Anima is the unconscious this feminine side of a man. How do I say this. It's the suppressed part of your psyche that doesn't act as much in the world. I suppose suppose but it still is inside of you. So that means that like I inside of me habits suppressed piece that is like masculine and honestly like this makes me. Kinda think more about like Trans people and how those sort of like come to surface you know of like oh like. I'm told because of the way my body looks that I am supposed to be this masculine idea that what culture puts on to me but I don't actually feel that so like maybe for like a like a trans woman they have like a suppressed oppressed masculine and really like what they're emoting in the world is more feminine so whatever we lacked lingers in our subconscious you know so it doesn't really matter if you're like <hes> trans or queer and you like identify you're very fluid on the spectrum still just goes back to whatever sort of like Ah. I guess culturally influenced ideals of masculine and feminine that you whatever the opposite was of you as a child so basically the argument for when we bring it into falling in love is that there is a subconscious part of us that feels I guess even like lesser than inside inside of us and maybe we could argue that that's the lack of and so that can go into us attracting person that fills that lack does that make sense yeah I can I can I come in here because this is actually really amazing so I am owning more that like I'm bisexual <music> but I feel like I am gay enough to to identify that way and that feels very validating and I and I always didn't one identify as bisexual or gay because I feel like I lean more towards being attracted to man for longer term relationships but I still love love Mike Lesbian energy like as I've typically the only woman I've ever fallen in love with. I was kind of the masculine energy in that and I kind of I feel like I typically tend to date these very much. She's Mo guys like very guys who feel like they have a say over me a little bigger than me and like can kind of you know and and I don't like that I feel that made me feel small but I've still like cared about them but anyway so I'm like. Ooh I kinda like this like why what if we are leaning to. We're relying too much on the opposite opposite sex because we feel like we're suppressing that would ever enema thing you just said yes the Anima Yeah Nobel. What are the words Anima. Emma animists. Okay is one masculine feminine Yes. Animus is the unconscious masculine woman mess and the Anima is the unconscious feminine side of a man so that's wonderful so the animus me because I feel felt for so long to guilty about my masculine. Oh inside. I relied too much on men providing that for me but the more I own that I do have this masculine energy in me the less I will rely okay on the man which can kind of free both of us up. Oh Yeah may do you think like men if they own more that female within them. Maybe they would back off the girl a little bit it because you don't want a guy falls in love. It's a beautiful thing literally it but sometimes it's fucking intense. Oh is it is not around their guy. Hi friends anymore. They're not watching the TV and they're just like rush and you're like in your like. Get off me. Oh and you're like Oh. You know what I'm saying. No okay when guys get into like have my baby mode. I could not be like it's too much. It's way too. I've literally I've had asked I slow down my please. You cannot talk about that that way. I was just dating for a second what I didn't know. I needed to pump the brakes because God told you he was intense you guys this guy didn't even meet Olivia via and he was already like I wanna go on a road trip across America was you. It's the law and we didn't actually ended up meeting because maybe maybe maybe your amazing amazing. Maybe he's amazing but maybe he is suppressing the Anima Anima Crossing anime anime and he's oppressing. Actually he's really into superheroes. Okay so honestly this is like one of the things that I'm most intrigued by because I love psychology and stuff old childhood patterns of attachment and this is a huge part that like aac actually is the major factors of why we obsess over like a person that might not even be who we think that they are which is part of the honeymoon phase uh-huh which by the way I'll just use. I'll plug this now that the fact that like the honeymoon stage really only last about six months to a year because that's as long as you can pretty much sustain the idealistic version of a person until you're like you look next you and you're like do. I even like you and then that's when you make a decision exactly exactly I think it's very important that we talk about the childhood patterns of attachment because that rings back to what you lacked as a child affection wise from either one parent or another. You're secretly subconsciously seeking that in another person yeah yeah yeah. I'm shaking my head. Yes hurt skit is what it is I. I'm uncomfortable with you listeners. I know there's a lot of triggers in our brains that Harken back to our infant sort of childhood stage when we got hurt when we got scared scared. Where do we go. We ran to either mommy or daddy right and so we have these triggers inside of our brains that tell us cling to run to go to this person for that thing. This is where we start to develop our attachment style which visited the growing up part is we have to like identify what this is and identify edify what works still and what doesn't work still because some of these attachment styles most of these attachment styles Raleigh. Aren't that healthy now. There's only one that's actually really healthy and that's the securely attached one which is the one that you kind of talked about which is mature best case scenario. You have a positive view of yourself and a positive view of the other and you have full trust of the situation so you're just a healthy person. There's another attachment style which is called the anxious preoccupied style which seeks high levels of intimacy approval and responsiveness from partners becoming overly dependent they tend to be less trusting have less positive positive views about themselves and their partners and may exhibit high levels of emotional expressive nece worry and impulsiveness in their relationships did you you just read my diary. Yeah Hi Emily Browning and I'm anxious preoccupied. I am so self aware. I have a lot of that. I think I have a good amount to think about it. Honestly like that's where I lean more where I was leaning more when I was really unhealthy see I'm becoming more securely attached but do that's so common is that from parents like from parents being really independent and not being there for you now that I think about it. Oh my God probably yeah it could be from parents abusing like maybe appearance relying too much on the child for emotional support sally certainly yes well also that can lead to a couple of the other styles to where you overly a while you're over share with your child and then they don't actually end up having any sort of space to themselves which makes them feel like they need to isolate. Are you reading keilor's diary. I'm also reading keilor's diary here potentially she she she could be dismissive. Dismissive avoidance which is they desire a high level of independence often appearing to avoid attachment altogether they view themselves as self-sufficient in vulnerable to attachment feelings and not needing close relationships they tend to suppress their feelings dealing with conflict by distancing themselves from literally literally in whom they often have a poor opinion so that's dismissive avoid. Aden's the next swab so the last style is fearful avoidance. which is I think I fell in love with a fearful uh-huh? You could be secure honestly a and it could be the healthiest. We're going to see also. I would like to caveat obvious that like these attachment. Styles aren't just for romantic relationships to their for any sort of space where you injury made intimacy things like that yeah so fearful. Avoidance didn't have mixed feelings about close relationships both dealing and feeling uncomfortable with emotional closeness they tend to mistrust their partners and view themselves as unworthy the like dismissive avoid adults fearful. Avoid adults tend to seek less intimacy suppressing their feelings which is exactly the guy that I fell L. in love with. I hope he doesn't listen to this podcast. Narcissism came from an actual man named Narcissus Yeah. It's not he's not a real guy. You know that right. I thought Greek mythology was real. We're going to tell me that troy release did not okay honestly when I was researching today. I really leap thought he was a real guy nurses on CICIS guide to all made up synthesis offices if you do Anima to me and my guy that walked anima is a really cool thing that you shook US yeah. If you're going to have anal you should really look into it yeah she clean out your Butthole Douche. No no it's an M. They're both know addition. Regina the most of your butthole who who are you okay. I am just reiterating things that I've heard from my gay friends. Okay okay anyway. Surfaced was sess system nine knew that wasn't right what you're right. Okay tell me about Selva cifs assists. You're rolling rock up a hill forever. Well it's just torture is was just doing the same exact thing again and again and again. That's hell. Oh is that love your mistake. If you're doing the wrong thing in love again and again that could be held ah continue on the the attachment style that you're describing of looming postulate thinking. I'm dumb my partners. I'm anxious or I think I also avoid. I do both like the guys who typically don't like me. I will attach myself to them anxiously and the people who do like me. I'll dismiss them so it's just this constant like turning down. Probably what are good partners. That's probably why we started this podcast ex <hes> okay so we just talked about the a different attachment styles and I I would like to say that they are activated from the first date onward so you will start to realize from the first day if like you're starting to connect with someone one how your body's responding and this is a trigger inside of you that is based off of trauma old responses. We are waking something old like when you're in love. It's almost like you're. It's not a fresh fresh falling in love. It's IT'S A. It's a love being built off another past experience. Yes because trauma I it sounds like people think a lot of people think that trauma is something. That's very very extreme that happened to you. Yes that is true but also literally everyone has trauma and all that trauma really is in its most minute stage is just the lack of a faction or protection or whatever you needed to lack of something that you need it as a child that is now affecting you later into life so I'm not I'm GonNa get into all that ego. Stuff will go into that later not in this episode but trauma. I think is directly correlated with these different attachment styles which is why why I'm here trying to grow up because we figure out our attachment style. We change this deal. I want I gotTa Day. Come up guys super cool. Oh how do I not be a total fucking idiot. It starts with awareness. I think <hes> being self aware that like I'm having these responses at this moment went okay but what it actually happening who actually is this person idealising this situation and am idealize myself what used to to be released very self aware of like just noticing the signs of anxiety and the signs like red flags and stuff and being like I will choose to I'm not attach myself to this person and move on or realize that you don't like bugs. Stop pretending you fucking like buzz operating like buck and realize you've nothing because that's wisdom wisdom that wisdom as saying like in this moment. I know that I want to say that like bugs but like down the line. That's useless it. Don't take it personally. One of my favorite comedians. Beth stelling says something along the lines of I'm going to butcher it but something long lines like if you ever get a crush on somebody yes just get to know them and go loyd instrument. Yeah there were times where I thought I wasn't love but I realized it was just like a codependent attraction. I had to someone four. I was relying on them as my main source of happiness but they never cared for me in the same same way I was trying to care for them so you can't necessarily choose who you fall in love with but you do get to decide if you're gonna stay in love and what that looks like you're at the mercy of what was off <hes> or as growing up so with that one thing that I have done. That's really weird to attract this guy that I was dating dating because I was in a very addictive toxic relationship that was like that classic Bush Bullseye Namic so if I promise I'm not crazy. I was crazy back. Then I knew what I was doing so I was so consciously aware of this but the guy like he was going away away from the inside like okay <hes> what can I do to like attention again and I tried all the typical things that women usually new but they're like okay wall dress six-year her like like I will perform whatever like all of the things when they usually goes through women's head heads so what I did was I was like I feel kind of sick and I did feel sick but I was like. I'm GONNA like ramp this up in my act like I have to go to the hospital. I told the guy that does eating at the time that I was going to the emergency room and I needed him to come there with me and he didn't go. He likes to stop responding because he fell asleep thing thing and I've found that the more I studied love addiction more that I talked to women who have like pattern of dating really emotionally unavailable and they will go to extreme lengths in order to get people's attention. There's a lottery like that but yeah so the weirdest thing I've I've ever done during the initial stages of love and lost its stimulated by very simple means ends and so as time goes on you know that sort of reward system starts to get used to things right get used to that feeling and and so your body is like trying to seek it somehow elsewhere and in that space it's like hey. I gotta get back on my sleep schedule because I am tired the six months in or longer. You're like I have to go back to normal and now do I even is even giving what I initially thought so. Your reward system is decreasing. The feed back loop is going to try to seek it. Maybe not elsewhere but like it's going to try to seek something the new so it doesn't necessarily mean that obviously the honeymoon stage. How should be the end. It's just really a matter of like mixing it up and try new things and stuff. We'll probably get into that. When we talk talk about like. How do we stay in love but like that's this is sort of the end the petering out of falling in love. I'm GONNA say the hymen stage is like college. My friends that I went to college with we always have college and whether or not we stayed friends is if we continue to nurture that relationship Joel we'll always have college and I think when you go through a honeymoon phase of someone you can look at that person ago wow we did it. We did the honeymoon phase. We'll always have a student and mems. What's mems memories? Yes okay man. Love is a plant and you gotta choose to nurture it. You don't by the plant and go wow what a beautiful plant. All I know is with falling in love and thank God like it's been enough time now where I'm not in that stage anymore but I just know like the obsessive of thoughts. It's like solving a puzzle honestly. That's what I bring it back to is like. I guess the most embarrassing thing was just like constantly trying into figure this thing out like I never did anything that was like blatantly super embarrassing at all. It was just like everything was so internalized that it was like I'm embarrassed. Barest by the amount of time that I spent trying to figure this shit out you know like it was so like a puzzle piece and my my brain would give me the reward when I would figure something out when something would like a puzzle piece would fit. I was founded there. Is You know and so like that was my experience with like the obsessive factor after it was more of like trying to see like does this person feel the same way about me or not what I will say that I think is kind of cute do with guys that I liked that I see as a trend in my past passed. I give gifts for as for example in high school had a crush on a guy that was in my newspaper class and we had like this birthday thing where we would we were. I'm Paul from the names from a hat and have to do something for their birthday. We would get their cake knowing people. Just get them a costco cake. Why happened to pull my crush out of the hat and I'm I'm like Oh shit so I from scratch make him the most beautiful red velvet cake ever seen I made the frosting from scratch. I like like dice strawberries and put them on top and I put it on a crystal platter and I presented to that newspaper room. Dude Dude got a costco cake and I was like here's my hope amazing. That's like one example but like like that's I mean. I made my mom when I was really little. This is how I know. It's like has to do with my childhood. Is that like when my mom my mom used to work late and the story is so cute <music>. I made her a sandwich. So when she came home she would have been the I made her like probably like a peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich but I'm gonNA. Make Mama family always really little well. I was probably like four or five or something yeah. I was like mom I want to make our sandwich which is basically just like love me and stay. It's really cute so your parents clearly love. You have a great relationship but things they worked. They worked a lot when you were young. I guess they did. I don't know they love. Let me a lot. No parent is perfect. Every child will end up with trauma no matter how quote unquote perfect you think your parents are. It's going to happen so that's my story emily. Do you have any any. Do you have any like thoughts on like something funny something silly something endearing you did in the process of falling in love. I WANNA know aw you're so sweet. <hes> I think I was shocked at thinking about the last time I was in love because I think that my last kind of boyfriend. I thought I loved him and I look back and I go. I think I knew I did it and the first time I said it to him weaver about to go to bed and we were revising a script together together and I was telling him how bad is friends script was and it was just beautiful freeing moment none of us and then he's like hearing me and he's like maybe maybe you have a point and then he's like but also hear me on this and I'm like no and it's amazing. I was never I was never able to like really tell someone and be so comfortable with them and sharing negatively negativity. We just are talking. I was like Oh my God. Can I show you this music video. I'm really into right now and we know in love music using videos and he was like absolutely and so I- shown caches Prang music video that she released like Oh oh my God what's also the song it's a song cash wrote about. She got abused by her manager for years at Sony and then Sony didn't side with her in the like the lawsuits it's and she broke her contract and then catch a frigging comes back man. Taylor Swift held drought financially but she comes back full sports with another album which is unheard of in music culture that she went against Sony in one anyway song called praying that is like directly sung to her manager anyway and he watches this and afterwards he just looks at me looks like I love it wow that's so powerful and I literally just like rolled into him and he looked at and I was like oh it stop smiling and probably idolizing. I what's the word I'm I'm probably idealising the situation. Yes absolutely but <hes> it was such a pure moment and I value that so much because most of the times when you open up to people we we all know that feeling you build it up you share that precious dark secret and the person you like go well yeah that's a lot and then they just changes subject do well that breaks the intimacy right there in that like that's the main factor of Wiwa Iowa so dangerously falling in love was that I go the opposite of that. It was like Oh let's keep going. Let's tell me all the things. Let's talk about all the things all the things all all things all things all things until you're suddenly and like I said people don't talk about it enough of emotional intimacy being potentially just as potent as physical intimacy. Oh my God like I don't know if I would have rather been having sex with him. A then like what happened with us. You know where it was like this really I guess like the strange addictive reward and like taking away and reward and taking away thing that makes you addicted to something but like I became addicted to about intimate space but it's hard yet but I think that intimacy is such a key a key piece in and I think we shouldn't feel bad you know because that same person I it was a really sad when I had when I broke up with him. He just did some things that I saw red flags at the time and I think I'd go and I think I have. I experienced experience a lot of shame of falling in love with this person and I experienced a lot of shame of like talking to him like three on the phone three hours a day and like and like calling in my boyfriend boyfriends so quickly and Blah Blah but I just like it just like not feeling bad <hes> what's going on in our brains and huge and we're talking about here yeah and just realizing that falling in love is like a beautiful thing and said I love love love but I think we should also just be careful careful about who we are giving our brain chemicals to Roy if you're yes. She's really be self aware like you know there. Is this phase where you can be like well. I something's happening here and this person is like showing we already bread flags or like yellow flags. Why gotta like tread lightly so be careful with yourselves because these things like this could be six months of your life that you just like dedicate to a person that might end up sucking right. It's true or do you know your yeah but I also and and not letting your cell phone enough hot. That's another episode. That is another episode Olivia. We've sweated a lot sweated so much okay over here and I've been through a roller coaster of different emotions going through this thing and this is just the first episode of this love series. Yikes so I think we should probably probably seeing this out. Oh connected proximity baby. Oh we're intimate. Oh is the only one is is very very extra ordinary. It was made for some of us. Hey this has been making love and growing up. We hope you enjoyed today's episode and maybe even learn something new about the insane insane processes of falling in love. Thank you so much for listening making love and growing up as a biweekly podcast and we drop a new episode every other Monday. If you're loving this podcast please subscribe on Apple and while you're on their leveraging this helps other listeners find the podcast to keep tabs on upcoming episodes and what's new at the podcast you can find us on facebook instagram and twitter at m L. Dot podcast or just type and making love and growing up we'd love to hear from you son as nematodes making love and growing up at Team L. DOT com we'd love to read episode personal stories and even topics you want to hear more about up and finally we could not bring you this show without our incredible team. Thanks to our editor and producer Taylor Myers our audio engineer eight Indian the creator of our theme Mhm Song Jordan mckinney and our graphic designer Chad Swanson. This is an algae you signing off mm-hmm.

dopamine Olivia O'Brien testosterone Emily Browning Paul boyfriend island Google partner Dan Sony Dick polly Taylor Swift keilor Navey Cortisol Marie Iowa stimulant costco
3232: Dopamine Loops w/ Patrick Holbert and Ross Erin Martineau

Keith and the Girl Comedy Talk Show

1:18:54 hr | 8 months ago

3232: Dopamine Loops w/ Patrick Holbert and Ross Erin Martineau

"Welcome Keith and the girl I'm Keith. Malley Hamda and just recorded nonsense with Carmen Lynch and Kyle Cossio. That's the name of show and you're VIP program so fun. It sounds really fun doing it. I'm hearing through the door. Lots of laughter. We have a good time. We get personal about our relationship. Me and Kyle and of course everybody's favourite hit one minute with Benny Air Stepson. Somebody wrote in and asked you know they ask him for advice this twelve year old and somebody said hey my boss my male boss. I'm a woman is being inappropriate to me At Work Yeah definitely ask a twelve year old. That and he said well talked to him. So you don't like it persists Tell other people in the office but don't blackmail. That's not gonNA work out. Well sell interest. Is He watching? Right don't blackmail. He's probably watching the hashtags on twitter. Right yeah so it's in your VIP package keeping the girl dot com slash VIP and Rossi's is working with us you know rockies shoes yeah have them. Andrea has them they take water bottles recycle it and they make they make fancy shoes. They make fashion. We're giving away three free months of Keith and grow VIP membership. Thanks to roffe shoes this week. And only this week if you buy anything at Rossi's DOT com slash. Kfi send us the emailed receipt. And you'll get three free months of a key from the girl. Vip subscription all right so thanks to Rossi's they make great shoes. Now there's an added bonus check them out at Rossi's R. O. T. H. Y. S. dot com slash. Katie gee email us. Three seat at Info at K. T. DOT COM. It three free months this week only. Hey it's a no brainer. Great choosing three months of the IP. Let's get right to today's guests. Ladies and gentlemen first off she's been featured on Comedy Central Harper's Bazaar The New York Times Co host of the podcast. Who Cares about Ross? And Patrick Rosser Martineau. I'm good thank you. How if I made this gets me in trouble. Sometimes I'M GONNA go for it okay. You look like you're about four and a half months pregnant and my close how you have a gift it worth it when I get it right. You know. I get in trouble on the subway a lot but when I get it right I thought you look three and a half months pregnant and so. I'm not sur-. Tally already watching her way. We have to start. Yeah don't be gross. You hear that you can gain twenty pounds during this but like let's now pushes. Yes exactly and here he is. The donor happens to be your husband featured on Siriusxm the travel channel True TV and your co host Hatcher Colbert. Hey how's it going are you doing? We think I'm the donor There is a slight. We're nine point nine percent share. Yeah we in our very first sonogram. We looked at the the woman said. Oh it looks like your nine weeks pregnant. I went into my Google calendar and I said I think I we conceived eight weeks ago and nine weeks ago could have been her boyfriend. Ross here's a real slut and she's got a boyfriend and yeah I. There is a slight slight anyway. But you guys are not kidding. You know you are with someone else. Also yeah I could it really be in the chances that condoms don't work okay. Yes Oh that's why I say ninety nine point nine because there was no it was not like anything happens in that in that time I was like Oh my God at broke or something like that like it felt like a very safe situation but you have a fuck calendar because it's handy and we know exactly the threat. I came inside her three times and one of those times on my mother's birthday so it was either on my mother's birthday the day before that of the day after that. This is a Weirdo Hugo calendar. He has a star. I said well it's also it's easy for us to know because we only tried those three days and I somehow thirty seven year olds uterus got pregnant diseased. Come just work. You have disease come though. We both have herpes asthma. Asthma affects seemed but they swam. Just fine you know if one of you gave the other herpes or was it to him. Yeah like like when you were mad. Ya Fuck this. I'm telling him just went into your throat on scoped. It was consensual. Actually she did actually give a picture. Perfect talk before we ever had sex. You need to know that I have S. T. is and if we're going to proceed in a sexual way you should know that information on nothing's hotter than a tedtalk right before you have a C- powerpoint now. Is that a first date thing. Is that third day? Wendy how do you tell somebody? Well you know these days either way. You're already more fun than like most people who come through so thank you. Don't say that because every time somebody says that they start closing it. So we're we've learned. It's always somebody else's book your yeah that makes sense these days in our like open relationship. I find talking about it very quickly. Like 'cause usually you're talking to somebody it becomes a sexting thing or something and so it's just like hey just so you know like this is what's going on and you want to be clear. Not Lame door yes. I got some if eighty percent of people have it. I haven't slept around my battle-scarred did you get nervous about how Patrick said. Yeah I don't mind is supposed to be a little discussion. Well he he then very quickly told me that he had hp so that made me feel like that's the one that nobody cares about for some reason like because everyone has it but for some reason. Herpes is really stigmatized in. Hbv's Kinda like whatever cares. Could the can the baby get it? She could if there wasn't all the proper protocol in place. They've they've come a long way so it's like. I have to be really take Valtrex liker till the end of the day when the baby comes out they hold your vagina extra. Why am I think they bring in the jaws of life from the local fire department and just crank that thing open? Yeah it works fine from what I know. Is there Do you want to get a DNA test to find out if the baby's yours or would you rather not one hundred percent now just assume? I think we will kind of no because Ross Asian Ross. Yeah well we were looking at a Sonogram last week. It was a perfect profile. You could see the baby's like profile of her face and I honestly Kinda can't tell you know so on autonet profile. But I've sort of let that go. I've really come around to this place of like if this is indeed someone else's child like I. I'm so proud of what we've built in our relationship and I I will. I don't want to leave. This family. Like cushy. She for weeks was saying like you know I kind of can't stop thinking about like maybe what if it is his and it's really fucking me up and I was getting angry like I 'cause it was that really screwed with me too. And then in this couple's therapy session. We talked it out and decided that he's more good looking so and there is something to genetic converse with all the Quirky Shit. You guys got going one more little bonus. Yeah Yeah IT'LL BE. Make me like the most woke comedian. Everybody's opened nowadays. But you have a Dominican. Yeah that we did not adopt right have you. Had he become so cooling open? Did you fuck up announce anything goes with her or were you really this Ono Chalon? Yeah no I fucked up I I work. How long have you been dating nine years? Yeah your total nine years. Total almost three years. Oh my God. Tomorrow's are no no two days for our wedding anniversary. Yeah so in. Six months into marriage we decided to open it up after he will be opened it up for more after I decided to open up sorry. How long were you together before the marriage sixty six years? Yeah okay Us Oh six six years then you get married. Then you cheat. Did you cheat before the marriage I did? If you consider like secret. Massage Parlor visits Without discussing it with your wife. Yeah Yeah I feel like secret anything. Cheap yeah yeah. 'cause you're cheating your relationship yes but the but the four months in the heavy one is that because is it bigger. 'cause you're married because it was emotional. Well it was sex and it was No as a sex worker and So I- Rawson I for years had been on the sex APP like kind of cruising looking for other partners to bring into the bedroom with us in this like hypothetic Lourdy Kinda. Yes sexy fun flirty way but we never acted on it and then. I just like created this alternate reality in my mind that we lying called alternate reality. Reality was using the bathroom on my phone. Kick my ass. Yeah and I just. I really thought I had permission to go visit. I visited a dominatrix and I thought it was this like sexual exploration that Ross would appreciate because at that point. You knew not to tell her. Why did you not tell she would appreciated after right? Yeah his logic everything. Appreciate it in different ways. It's art really when you think about it. I don't want to bore her. She's has she's fash. She's in fashion. She does she's. She's very busy speaking of her busy fashion life. She was on a nighttime. Shoot when I went and I literally was in the Uber Home. Coming home thinking art if she's walking in the door at the same time I am. I'm just going to tell her but if I can get along planning. Yeah no it was insane. It was full on addiction. Like we're the universe. Give me the sign totally. I'M GONNA go with the secret on this one. Actually keep a secret but knows a full-on drug addict behavior like we're both sober addicts and like it was totally. Like I. Just WanNa go and do this thing and get the hit like the dopamine hit or whatever claire. You weren't on drugs at the time it's just talking. I was Seven years nine years sober. This was two years ago when this happened. So what was what was leading to. Let's say let's call it addictive behavior which I imagine is very hard for you. Ross right Well maybe not because you understand that side of it. Yeah but let's call it addictive behavior usually right before you. Let's take a drink or go gamble or do your behavior. There's something that is kind of stirring up in you. That's causing that when you reach for your addiction. You're avoiding something. What were you avoiding? Yes so like the context of where I was at right rocket girl gang. Here what do you say to your Unborn Child Sweetie? This is where I was. She can hear everything right now that they can understand. Classical music can understand classical cheating thing. What were you eating for? So we were four months or marriage. We're not having much sex at all at that point. I in therapy with my individual therapists had decided to try to stop watching porn. Because I was like I had this isolated sexualities what she called. It was basically jerking off to get off every day. Not Talking to Ross at seven it raw not telling her about the sex drive I had but I was also two months into the vichy. Ever ever happened to go for a move. And you're like I just happened to Jack Often. You'RE GONNA get the wrong idea like we were really in this place of like very happy as a couple like we fell into that like best friend roommate mode. Yeah you know where it's like. This is fucking awesome. We Love we love each other. What would we complain about this one thing and it's a very important one thing but then we have all this other important stuff stacked up so well that it would be exactly almost selfish to be like and why not this right okay? So I think we're having just enough sex to not like freak out. I mean although occasionally we would be like man. We should really try to do it sometime and then like but we would i. Would it be uncomfortable watching a movie there? And there's a sex scene in your both just thinking like yeah that's what people do recall but I mean there was just so much unspoken stuff going on around that specifically which fell strange because we were so open with each other about everything else that like it just became the elephant in the room. One of us want to talk about. I've been there before. But what else is there that you're open about your love movies. What else is there to be open? No the boss. Yeah well like I think like I I have an emotionally taxing job. Like comedy is like getting like your ass kicked every day it's stressful and I'm like sometimes totally coming home like emotionally drained. And not so like she would support me a lot in that so like Little needy off. How would you like again trying to stop watching porn and I also was on my second month of no sugar and going to the gym. Five days a week at the end angry is another few had US knickers. You would not have cheated totally. Shouldn't prostitutes have fun sized snickers? Decide what you WANNA do. I know yeah no. Snickers cost twenty dollars because they gotta make sure on massage parlors did have a jar of mints on Your Way Out so oh so you. Don't come home with the thing in your mouth covering your tracks in a close roller. Did it help that? It was a sex worker for you because it is. It almost feels mechanical. Like did it help that. It wasn't maybe a coworker or someone he met somewhere else. Yeah one hundred percent and very like I could see justifying it. I I'm not condoning it. I could see a little bit more justification for it. Yeah no and I even talked about hiring is X. worker to have a threesome because neither of US never had a threesome before like prior to all of this unfolding. We were like on this APP. Looking for a third like a real couple. And do you know that the thirds going to be a girl? I we both wanted it to identify as queer and I've had relationships with women untapped stuff for me going onto the. I wasn't really dealing with her talking about. I was just like I'm in a good relationship like it's fine. I don't need to deal with the fact that I'm actually sexual sexually frustrated too But Yeah I am going to a sex worker when he I mean not to like jump ahead but when he told me I was just kinda like okay like just kind of. Tell me what happened. You know. And I'm very like pro sex workers rights in like you said exactly what you said. Things like that which added to his collection of justification. I'm sure I'm sure that that can feel confusing at the time. Because you're openminded your you know Pro Sex workers so everything about you as saying. I'M NOT GONNA be who I who I was who I say I am if I get extremely angry and annoyed by this but also this has been an intrusion on my marriage and my relationship. I think. That's like a weird dichotomy that you feel almost like when you get sexually assaulted. Yeah there's this weird what just happened. I'm not sure how to react. Sort of and then there is. Who Do I share this with? And if I share this do I have no opportunity to make this right between me. And him privately thought all that through and I was like. This is the mass. I mean look at him he looks like a fucking suzy. Ted Bundy over here trying to like I justify like I support truck drivers okay. I can't fuck him. I'm not allowed I. Are you like who you who you try to sit here? You knew you shouldn't have been doing that at first. I laid it on thick like once. I knew it was upsetting for her. I started just like. Did you know it was upsetting her? When you didn't tell her well no in the car after I said I was like. Hey I'm sorry one second. This conversation was arm an idiot. I driving. She's she's trapped and then you gotTa Walk Two blocks to save a couple of bucks. Okay just spouted this word salad and I. I really am seriously who is driving. I was drying and we were coming from fuck in Yoga retreat in New York. After having this like bonding like Yoga couples weekend great sex and we had really good sex that we can do. We were feeling proud of ourselves. It held my hand in the car and he was like I have to tell you saw lord and I was like well first of all the Patricroft better sex off off the way he wanted you already. He went to a professional and learned some shit right. Are we coming down too hard on? You know odd too bad submissive. I enjoy the shame. So you're in the car you're driving and you start you start saying stuff and but you gotta keep your eyes on the road. Yeah Yeah can't look you in the eye when I'd say it was a lot of starting over okay. So what do you remember what you know fuck you? Do you remember what he said? Well the best line was when he saw the panic in my eyes that when he was like. I've got something to tell you I was like okay. She's like no. I think it's good. I was like okay. I just say I fully fully forgiven him for this. Like we are light years beyond this whole experience but fucking yes sir. Thank you kind of. Do you eat like this. Has to be the rule now. She gets to do what she wants. You have to make peace with it. I do. You wish you never cheated and that No I don't I just I don't think I'm monogamous person. Okay so I I wish I yeah I really did you realize that. And why was it after marriage and I? I know that's like you know what I'm not gonNA Apologize. When did you find? I think I always knew I had I guess I cheated. Probably I can't think of an example having sex with someone else while I was in a relationship but I can certainly every relationship I was ever in. It was always this feeling of like well. Can I be with this person? I don't WanNa be with this one person forever and like that really being this underlying feeling but not knowing how to even talk about that. Of course like I've repressed that so eventua- acted out on it without talking to her. I felt similar. I mean in all of my relationships and like you know after we processed all this. She admitted that before. I did anything. She was also investigating these feelings with investigating feelings. Esther Peru fucking. I was eye opening up on my ipad. And also you did research on how to keep your relationship while being honest and open the as well. She is coming for you you do. This is not more hands on the field just the different school of thought so. Luckily so. The answer's no I'm not. I don't wish I didn't do it. and Luckily like Sh-. She's she didn't take revenge And we do talk about like who she seems like we. We negotiate you know and You both seem people a little only a little bit for me right now. We just have different types of relationships so like I mean you're still seeing people Who you almost said it name. I was like is he seeing her? I guess we could technically say that she did. But I've been in a relationship with somebody for like almost two years more emotional. Yeah Yeah for sure and consistent in like like I call him my boyfriend. He's really kind of the only other person move love each other and it was right Dominican right now there is sit there already been a discussion of this is me and Patrick's baby no matter what happens in the future. Yes okay. Yeah Yeah I actually haven't asked if there was another side of that conversation that's a good question along with the school for about the baby when it comes out Yeah he he like goes Yup. No Shit Yeah. He's just like I think that there is a part of him that like wants to meet the kid and like a not because he thinks he's potentially the father just because he cares about me and like our relationship but he opened also he is and he has a long term partner but started dating her only Abou- like less than a year ago so and she is not interested in knowing anything about his extracurriculars like she has. She said that or he decided not trust me baby. Let's keep it like such but she's totally cool to see rather than she is. She knew from the jump but was like I want. Don't ask don't tell us. Please don't tell me anything. That's very good. See both sides of yeah totally and they're not allowed to look through phones when you say don't ask don't tell correct which is i. I don't like I'm sort of in between that. And he's into which is like kind of sharing everything like I definitely don't want don't ask. Don't tell but I also don't I know his name. I know a little bit about his life but I don't know what he looks like We've never met. He's never done any stocks. It's so weird that I totally get this. But I I imagine like the marriage you guys share so much and you're so open about stuff and you're talking about your day and everything and when your day consists of the don't ask don't tell part you're experiencing things like maybe you go to a museum or maybe you learn something new about sex like how do you don't ask. Don't tell. How is Your House this weekend. Well that's the thing we know we know like like like I like he went with her to Paris and like I knew about that and like like so. Come home and tell you like the different things she saw in Paris. She tell you the romantic parts of it are not. But it's like that's changing every day to like I'm able to hear more and more Like it's always evolving and like at first like. There is a photo of her in this beautiful garden in Paris. And I knew. He took the photo and Tagged that they kind of hurt to look at it but now it's like who gives a shit that's year ago. You know you post like flowers for Valentine's Day and he corrects the valley. Okay what happens when it comes to something like Valentine's Day or birthdays or holidays things that he takes the bud. I took the wrong. I imagine you treat it like a stepfamily where you just kind of like. Organize your schedules to include that the other family so to speak. Yeah kind of We'll just pass him around honey. No I didn't have Valentine's Day with anyone other than my family so it was pretty boring. No he got me to He. Got Me a lovely card. I mean also. Things have changed so much since I've gotten pregnant and like we've Patrick and I have been sort of on this like were so bonded and in love like moment in it it feels really special and like were deeply connected in this in this different way and so we've had to have some talks with these other partners kind of being like. I'm kind of in a different place in. Don't have that much time for you. I'm sorry actually for the first time. In months and months vetoed a day. I was going to go on on Sunday night and which I didn't really mind but it was sort of. We talked it out yesterday whereas like yeah just I'm not into seeing him so I feel like just it's not a no forever but right now like yeah. Maybe don't go see her and I just feel like I'm fucking working every Goddamn night. Unlike feeling very pregnant I was just like I'm sensitive in this moment. Just don't tonight. I make sense that you feel especially you patrick. Do you feel like now when shitty things come up you can say things before. They spiral into some other. Oh Yeah Yeah. Yeah in like my acting out now is more food related. It's like like heinous amounts of ice cream and and I think porn and jerking office coming up again. I mean does that scare. You know I'm head up about trying to sleep. Yeah exactly. I didn't get to hear yet. I know a new podcast episode of yours. Just drop today just dropped only halfway through it but in the description you talk about going to Puerto Rico. Yes we had. We had this very that trip. San Juan beautiful check. We had this really sweet mutual masturbation in the hotel room because like sex is a little more challenging and I think that's how it was so hot and I actually share that with my therapist and I had this like deadline to submit this writing thing last week and I kept delaying it and I kept acting out with jerking off because I was stressed out by this thing. So I'd like whack off and then it would take me thirty minutes to get back into writing again have been there. Were not even kidding. I had a day. This was years ago and my problem is when they start masturbating. I can't stop like because because I come and I'm like what were good. Well there might be another one being a woman scraping the bottom of the jar. When do you throw at the you? Don't so one day I was doing it. At all of a sudden it was like eight hours later and I am going to be late for work and it was just a shit show but feels so good and it also does take you way to committee vacation. This is what I mean. When religions or upbringings or culture tells you not to touch yourself. That's abuse I'm not and I think that is to to not be able to think. Then you start looking for other people to get you off and you rely on them and then you make compromises that you are not and I'm really speaking about myself. But but once I started drinking off which started off late I made less compromises with men and women everybody because if I got Horny I didn't have to find something I could just go. There's a huge difference. So yes sorry you were math reading this patterns come up again in in Puerto Rico. We did it together and it was a great thing and like I was sharing with my therapist. How wonderful it felt like full-on hot sex together. You know and therapist or woman there I go. I go to a woman interesting note and she said well. Why don't you tell? Ross how special that was to you and She didn't tell me this is basically what you said. And also maybe include her in. What's going on with your relationship to porn again. So this is me live Keith. And the girl. And here's where you do. What is I mean. It's better than a car. We didn't we also said like you know. Be careful not to turn and face each other too much when you're talking. This is another video so I'm watching Louis C. Worried about about watching too much porn or so. She's teaching me a lot about dopamine loops and how it truly will derail the focus. It takes to write something. Difficult takes focus and the dopamine reward comes much later after the thing is performed or whatever. Then you're proud of yourself. You did this. Task that was difficult. Porn is instantaneous. Like I can get that high right away but it. It reeks hormone chemical havoc in your brain to like do that. Drug come down is not It's like molly but instant a Are you guys in any twelve step programs or I don't know one hundred forty four. Can I guess okay? Honestly I'd sooner kiss your way because any narcotics anonymous. Now alcoholics anonymous. Both both of you anyone in Alanon. I've dabbled he's dabbling sex. I'VE DABBLED I. Yeah I should you should dabble a little more now. I think I'm living as sober wife. I should have dabbled at times to like in like bad breakup where I was you know like an AA meeting was the wrong time. And there's another thing I'm more focused on hooking up with. Everyone in this meeting should go to the other passages where we met actually. Yes we met in a yeah wait the required year. Jamie was banging somebody. Yeah pretty quickly and it's not required. It's just a program of suggestions suggested you don't drink superbeets. Follow strong strong suggestion stuff. Have you been through the steps? Yeah Yeah Yeah. Do you go through them multiple times. I haven't really you have right. Always currently doing four was the fourth down for ecology. It's making an inventory charts. There's yeah it's like people get stuck in it for years sometime when I did it. It's an inventory of all the resentments and I haven't been through. This could be resentments. It could be your fears. It could be things you've done to other people that you're shamed of. Typically it's like resentment sex yeah and then on the fifth step you tell people right no you tell yourself and one other person your sponsors monthly. Yeah okay. It's only on the ninth and tenth. Step that you start. Apologizing ninth is the amends. Yeah which that's the movie scene want to jump to quickly which is like not typical in real life. Like he's like okay. I'm one day sober. I'm coming to tell you everything I did wrong. Like ten step is don't covet thy neighbor's ox oxes. I tell you now Patrick when you would drink This is interesting. You you seem sexually related. You would get naked in public. Yeah I was. I was an exhibition. Est it was always like mooning people showing my dicta people that didn't WanNa see it have anything to do with how much you are working out at the time. I don't know I've never been proud of my naked body but about your Dick. Are you proud of your day on? I think I yeah I guess now am I think I've felt like the prostitutes what I paid her to say? The building once naked. Yeah I I mean. I was always climbing every building on my campus. I climbed in the night loved pissing off some caveman worst nightmare of a person and yes shrieking just like daddy rather you kill the gut like no okay. So are there a lot of video and pictures of you? I have a crazy wealth of of old drunk pictures. That really come in. Handy for throwback Thursday on instagram. Never you never got arrested. I did a spent one night in and like two other arrests guest. Erase this right and trust me. I'm I'm I'm aware of that and I have a lot of shame about that. I I was one so drunk in Tampa Florida at an airport wearing Hawaiian Leis. I had a fucking Fedora on and I talked my way into the jet blue cockpit to take selfies with the pilots. This is post nine eleven. I'm like not. Everyone can just waltz owned. I picked up the phone thing to make an announcement to a hundred and twenty people. Or whatever like hey guys. We're GONNA DO Airplane Karaoke now. Let's all what sign you guys want to do. And I'm fucking wasting these girls are just the flight attendants just like chuckling at me and like pardon me. Pardon me. He's like yeah fucking legend but like looking back. I'm like I'm a fucking pig. You know like I was just such them noxious do you blackout or do you remember this. I have very few blackouts That's hard I remember fully. Yea a lot of stuff. I still have a lot of shame about a lot of four step buddy lead and that's why it's so crazy like hearing these kinds of stories from him because I mean I was a hardcore drunk drug addict but my experience was much more like how do I look like the coolest girl in the East village in Williamsburg and do like lots of cocaine. And so like that type of dude was like truly my worst lay was more like the FRAT boy to your. Yes we joke all the time like if we had met during that time in our lives like he would have just been like coming onto strong and I would've been like no get the fuck Outta here. She would never exist. This exists cocaine thing. She's GonNa know so much so quick. So cocaine was your favorite. Well I the combination of drugs and cocaine and booze was my favorite. When I discovered that coke would allow me to just drink all night long I could not do one without the other so you you liked uppers the adrenaline excitement. Yeah necessarily the weed and acid and I dabbled in those things. I was a huge pot head like all during college. I smoked all day every day and then once I moved to New York after college I was like. Oh wait cocaine and I was a waitress for years and so just like went hand in hand everybody was drinking on the job and doing coke and staying up after hours and normalize very much quick. I remember I going into Alanon and I was like well. How am I supposed to know? Who'S THE ALCOHOLIC PEOPLE? Look at me weird when I'm like no I don't drink so I think I'm the Weirdo. Everyone's getting tracked people start stories with like I was so trashy like go on normal shit. I had no idea so I drove home sober again. Ooh Yeah what's your problem is happening not in your life. How does a work? You can only drink on holiday so we had to pull the trigger countries do the weeds sober thing where you can smoke weed. I could never smoke it successfully. Anyway I smoked at like I drank so it smoke way too much way too fast and then that would be an idiot and we were very like hardcore a is when we first came in to like I I mean I like went to one meeting and then I stopped everything and I started going meetings every single day and I definitely don't have that sort of consistent relationship to it anymore. It'll be eleven years on March. I actually you. That's the big deal. I know some fucking wild chip he. I guess I should. I missed last year for thank you the one. The one tools have you dealing guests. Was debtors anonymous? Which is the one that we're doing right now. Dealing with our money with our Erin pending child coming. That's a great idea. What does that. What does that mean though like? What's the problem? I'm obviously not having money. But are you bad at spending? What what do you need to fix? Yes it's like It's a pretty like head trippy. Kind of program like because you're applying the format of a and you're like reading the Big Bucks and all that Shit but you're basically talking about money as if it's like a drug when you get to the apology sections you have to apologize for paying people to fast back in the day high ceiling. This things like that but I hear the first step because I know a few people in. Da You're the first APP is like taking out. Everything and seeing actually with the numbers are meeting. Like how deep are you? How much do you owe like actual numbers the scent because the whole people who didn't open your mail 'cause you're like we know it's bad news what's crazy is I became a? Don't open my mouth person and just the last two years or three years. I I use my shedding debt. The wedding We had A. I had a car accident. I try to do it. A clothing business time. We were doing our wedding. We just things went off the rails like three years ago and Yeah I think I just be fucking. I'm not looking at this and I was just like living off of credit in a couple of different ways and spending money. I couldn't really afford for sex workers for thing that pissed her off the most marriage I could have blown you and gone to the spot. And then we started going to a very expensive couples at the therapist Which cost exact same amount as the DOMINATRIX She's affordable that dominatrix. I have to tell you I may have haggled. The most just paid by the well. I'll tell you this. You're probably getting the VIBE listening to this. But I'll be clear being in this room. You're definitely seemed like the real deal that meaning. I don't hear or there's resentment that you're hiding. I do have to ask the when you're you do a solo show Patrick about All of this and Here's the description comedian. Patrick Colbert opens up about section. Shame secrets and lies and truth and forgiveness. It's an exploration of mayor. Today as he admits his infidelities with a with a s grapples with toxic masculinity sheers his wildest perversions discovers new levels of trust with his wife if brutal brutally honest comedies. Your Jam this show is Free. You you guys decide together. This is a good idea to do. Do you come to her. Like I'm thinking about doing this. Is there any resentment at the time at least going on? Now you're doing you're GONNA get a standing fuck at ovation. Is Europe pieces shifts or any of that she happy. It's going great. Look and other rate up interest. Well I hope figures cross right up in the Times. I'm I'm lucky in that Ross has always said like yet talk about whatever you want to tell the truth about our relationship however you want an. I don't know. Do you remember how you said that to me. Well I did like come out of your face. 'cause you are got it in her mouth and he's like. I hope he does the first show and she goes maybe a little more humility. He does receive notes for me. So that's good but I don't know I like I myself in like he would get naked and I would over share. That's kind of my like the way I've always been my whole life. So the fact that he's like sharing openly and honestly and it's affecting people in a in a way that I think is positive and making things less taboo. I'm here for it and also I don't have to do the work you know. So I'm just like fucking reaping the benefits of like wow your wife zones so awesome like and I don't have to write it or perform or anything. Does it ever confuse things? Like your wife's. Oh awesome can I fought like the highest. I've had other comics asked me that question because they think they're so funny. I'm like Let's see if I even think you're funny or good-looking. With chances are neither but a very special time for me was in October three months. All this shit hit the fan I was invited at this festival to do a show. That's out of Chicago called. We still love you or we still like. Were they want you to say the most shameful story you have and the audience screams we still like you at the end and I was like a couple of mumbles emerson. Well one of my drinking stories. That's what I'm going to do. Because they're good now and I like that. Whatever and I was sharing with her and she said why. Don't you just tell them what happened two months ago? You should? You should tell this story fash tail. Yeah yeah and I was like. I don't think I want. I don't know if I want to talk about this stuff because it's not just like I choose on her but it's also about personal sexual things like I'm into cross dressing and being Dominated in into these things sorting it out and I didn't even know what how much I wanted to share. And she said you should just tell that story and then I did and it went really well that first time and then within a month I was just doing all these sets on these topics and the jokes were just like falling from the sky and like I didn't feel like writing anymore. It's just Patrick. Is Turning honest he does. You know what's weird is I. Don't have to holdings in my brain. Which stories and come home and worry about it guys. You gotTa try this thing. I'm trying right now with the right person. It's like much much easier to just put it out there. And that's all because all because she like encouraged it. Let's talk crossdressing. Because I like to cross dress. I'm just like a man right now crossdressing. Lazy. I dress really fun. If that's what we're talking about with crossdressing has a nice breeze. I like wearing a misnomer because all you do is think about one thing. Put It on just right yes so convenient though. I'm looking at the wedding invites you. Ross. Dress up like a man right. Yeah Bet David Bowie androgen if you will I could figure out who the woman go whole hog sure and selling it and then Patrick is dressed as a woman Jersey House. Sheila she smokes. Newport's drinking fucking Rosaiah all day. You wear more makeup in that day than I did my whole life without I watched the transformation I was like. I don't even know if this is happening. Oh great pictures though which just to be clear. None of this was a turn on for me like this is not what I'm into in a section for me. Pass it. Yeah feel free now. What is what. What are you into this different than the these pictures of you doing Rossier outfit? Yes thank you killing it you know. I had to bring my profession into the shoe. Genuine model uses fantasma. Please leave what do you? What do you like this these pictures so with sex and crossdressing? It's more materials like I. I love the feeling of nylons or shoes are a turn onto where women's shoes turns me on but I joined rockies. Thank you Rossi's recycled soda bottles. I just clip klopp around in those an ecologically conscientious products. And I get so fucking hard. This is a flattering flat. Really gets you when I don't have any women's clothes I just crumpled up water bottles. Do you like heels enjoy heels. I like the way they look. I look now no. It's it's so much more like it's it's pure fetish you know it's not like oh. I feel like a sexy lady. Yeah and I don't enjoy presenting as female unless it's for the joke these these invitations were like this joke at your parents loved the parent says there was some family controversy but yeah so so. I went to this dungeon for this party and I made the mistake of telling one of the dams that I'm a comedian. And she said all right everybody. We're going to have a comedy show and I was like so not into that. And she made me wear a wig and address and present totally as female and She was seeing an ethical. That whole establishment for me 'cause yeah I'm not into so it's more like panties stockings things like that. Do you just put it on or do you put it on and like get sex. Life had one or two partners. That were really like wanted to play with me. In that way like Ross isn't particularly interested in that Particularly and And yet and it might have been a phase. I haven't really like been into it recently. You put on the pantyhose. If feels good somebody touching through that and the apartment like my dream would just be like a laundry. Caudal party under luxurious comforter. She's laughing goodbye. He has other partners completely does. Yeah that's really Nice Patrick. Beauty of Non Murdoch. That's that's yeah. I feel so lucky that this is an article from leak daily about that shoot The couple who lives in Brooklyn New York that the shoot was in some way intended to provoke and educate Sir more conservative relatives. That's how you do it. That's the one that ruined my relationship with ant bath. Yeah who are in their exposure to different cultures as well as to celebrate the artistic nature of the relationship. Did you think it would lead to a discussion that you think they'd see the pictures and go? Wow you just changed fucking. I'm into Rubio Democracy and Free Health. Our Way and no one should be a billionaire. These are powerful. Fucking take that soundboards. They recycle our shed carrots out of it and it didn't work out that we did it and you put on a broad every fucking spanks shape wear that there was a there. I will say we are so grateful to the writer who we know personally. Who wrote that article? But she might have taken some liberties of like okay. This is like the thesis of where I want this to go because that was definitely not our intention to be. We're like the Liberals in broome land and we're gonNA fucking teach you that gender as a contract you don't you don't love off. We were a bit like Oh that came out with their friends thank. We're not just trying to like call. Everyone ignorant right so we are. GonNa Post the article because we're horse and we want people to know Ross was a women's studies major in college so you know how to wear these clothes correct. That's what we study. Patrick is a stand up comedian. We may look on the outside says Ross. But we wanted to make sure that everyone those that were far from it on the inside. That's interesting that you said that particular thing before our life our actual life began here. I know well we knew we had it in us. I've were just scared to to pull off the band AIDS. You knew you guys were Rocky Road. Favorite ICE CREAM. Not By choice. No I just felt perfect. We're born liking rocky road. Assist the photos. Display the couple's reverence and respect both for each other and dry culture and the experience proved highly educational especially for Patrick who explains I've learned a lot about unfairness of beauty standards in our society. So deep this is the problem with an email interview by the way you type out these things. You would never say out loud in that way but you can tell also when you type it out and they just copy the article because it's no there's never the atmosphere and the glass broke a Patrick continued. We do a bunch of those interviews and it's like Oh we WANNA interview great. They're like your questions like homework. Oh God we're GonNa start sneaking shit into this feeling some of them just copy paste without. Oh sure they do. Jeff you can't melt steel but we've been podcasting for twenty five years. I was laid in spanks padding makeup eyelashes. A WIG face was snatched that stretched and lifted. See this is when it kind of gave it away. It was a pre written article because not many people talk in parentheses face nets that means stretched and lifted up the side of his mouth. My feet were Cranston into torture. Shoes did not physically feel very good as a straight man. I never have to put much effort into my parents. Oh so much also tell. I'm in the House all day every day being like you know how easy when when you make it sound like you dressed up once and now you know. I'm never going to tell my wife that we're running late. Who question should be paid more? Makeup is expensive. I'm going to be an elite daily. I've got to be a hero. Many of their friends and family members have responded with enthusiasm and support for their are typically experimental invitations and others. Were genuinely confused by the photo things such as Not Knowing the the models were in fact the couple there who says it's not notably. Patrick was not heard back from his parents yet which wasn't even true. I don't think I think I just said I haven't heard from parents yet. And then she said notably yeah and it wasn't like it was like Oh we don't know if they got the invitation like casual heath figures notable enough to say that his parents have not yet but we believe they'll come around soon. I mean who couldn't love these photos? Did they come around? Yeah everybody thought is hilarious. They say but don't be hilarious at the one. So am amp. Bev Messaged me and she's like who the fuck do you think I am? Do you think I need to be fucking taught curse that me the most ever? And she's the one family member that none of this was intended toward at all. She's like most liberals marching for Elizabeth Warren. Right now she's like she's like our people and not your. She's the one individual that read it and was like hurt by it. We talked it out and it's all good but when you say aunt who sister my mother's sisters your mom say something like fighting with my sister now over this no no no there so talk about things very pass up waspy or no. Catholic farm town upstage salt of the Earth bootstrap Type Shit. Don't yeah don't talk about your feelings. Two months face. He came from salt of here. I am a I'm I'm the black sheep for sure. Okay and you. You seem to have grown up in a little bit more of a relaxed atmosphere yeah My parents are from Mississippi originally but they moved to Connecticut as newlyweds. Far Away from everyone so I got the luxury of just having kind of like cool normal immediate family away from like the craziness of extended family and do grow up with religion like the sad pathetic version where we show up for Christmas and Easter. Yeah but I always like hated it like I was like what is this. Lie that we're living. I don't understand my mom's a theater teacher. We came tired all the time. My Dad's really into music so like it was just a lot more like liberal creative and I kind of knew we were different from the to be in church like if we believe in God you don't think he knows we don't give a fuck and my dad. Very religious was a Catholic priest before he got married. But so we're going weekly but at the same time like I think on those US brothers are just punching each other on. What are we doing? I thought I went to yeshiva for nine years and I still thought like well. You know. They're teaching us is but nobody really believes that was. I went to Catholic school from kindergarten to sixth grade but it was like in the south. That's just what you did right like my parents went to Catholic school like it's better than private school in there. I mean public school in their heads which I definitely isn't and You're probably missing large parts of each absolutely but I did. I felt the same way where I was just like. We're all just like going through the motions. Yeah I UNDERSTAND. Studying my heritage in a way Knowing The pre knowing what my family but I'm like but that's it right. I'm just sort of writing on historical context. Women's studies shit out totally. Do you include your family in on the extra relationships. Does your family know you've boyfriend does it matter. Does it come up her her? Mom you've talked to your. My brother knows everything. I'm very close my younger brother and he listens to our podcast all the time so he knows everything that's going on but I did tell my mom once. We started talking about it on the podcast. Because she has she'll like promote our podcast even though she doesn't listen to it okay her students will listen to it other games and stuff and so. I was just like just so you know like we and I've always been really in her face about what's going on in my life like in college. I came out as queer and I like brought my Trans Boyfriend home and like I've always been like you know so. She's never really shocked but she's just like okay. You know. And she chooses not to listen and she didn't ask any questions and I can't wait until that's not extra light now you are describing yourself as just a regular person bringing someone home that you care about and it's like this girl again. No it's really you know coming out as queer is hopefully calming debt. Like not. Hopefully we don't have to come out anymore because I would like a world where straight people have to come out late. I would love to hear you guys talking to your parents. Okay so you know how like love is love and I just feel like I like my Dick but I want to put it in something. Dif- feels like goes holder. I know that I'm not familiar with it but I feel like I WANNA learn. Mom Dad is that okay. Mom And Dad Pleased. Have talking about your hope. We come to a day like that. I do too and I mean my parents are so they really are like open-minded an advanced. As far as like so many parents are but Lee Generational. You just don't know how to react. You know unfortunately their reaction is more just like okay. Like they're not GONNA ask questions but they're not being judgmental or anything but they're not sure which quadrant of the brain to put it in yet but I've said they put it in the Ross. She like Oh you know her like yeah. So I'm sort of the black sheep in that context of like. She's like the wild crazy. One is always out doing things. But I've also seen my family evolves so much like everyone's in therapy now so what again. I'm like literally all these years of beating you guys down. Now you're finally individual therapists. Did right those fucking pictures. Like I gotta find someone to talk to shake things up at work. I'm GonNa tell you something Patrick's it's GonNa Change Your Life Your Eddie. I can't wait. I'm a little scared third love. They do bras differently though. They believe that everyone deserves to feel comfortable and confident every day with the right kind of support and they help you do this bras designed to fit you. Patrick not the other way around. Zayn with measurements from millions of they say women but we're in the future. Their bras styles are made to fit your life. They have over eighty bra sizes but know that the only one that matters is yours but they have to run a business to other people to every bras backed by the perfect fit. Promise sixty days to wash and wear it. If you don't love it returns always free. I didn't know this wasn't a thing. Have Sizes Yeah. Yeah that was a gift I just recently brought bought another one and this is a racer back and I love the racer back because it still has like that front. That's very sexy. And the the racer back in the back is actually lace and it doesn't fall off my shoulder and so yeah and if you if you get like now those the sex way when ladies dressing up so beautiful but then they're out in the club and they're always tugging at themselves. Yeah kind of takes away the magical. Yeah so this is like it's sort of like this undercover sporty Brian. Yeah Yeah let's see. Third Love knows. There's a perfect bra for everyone. So right now they are offering fifteen percent off your first order go to third love. Dot Com slash. Kt Now to find your perfect fitting Bra and get fifteen percent off your first purchase. That's third love DOT COM Slash Katie. Gee for fifteen percent off today. My girlfriend cow uses them loves them. Chains turn light changed her life. All right so everybody's loving you so far. Okay I can tell you. Read the audience. Okay I'm GONNA say some. This could be the most controversial part. Okay all right. Russ you're a witch false true okay. Colino witches she wrote. I believe this is instagram. Inherited a few boxes. Wow you died. I inherited a few boxes of the tools of the trade from a woman who passed on to the next round. Where do we go by the way? I don't think I wrote this by the way. Yeah you can. You create a creative post. He's out of Rome. Seems like something which is with their textbooks. Powders hashtag crystals in Hashtag spells plus five notebooks of carefully written notes by the original owner. If you're a witch and it's spelled V. I t. h. which I haven't heard before until that movie came and I hated it. What does what why. Why Two V.'s? What does that mean? It's just a looks cool. Yeah I I think it's an aesthetic thing okay and wants to come pick through. Let me know. I just WANNA keep good vibes around that kind of stuff. Now when he when he tells you hey I cheated on you and I don't have respect you enough to tell you in the house. I'm in a car. Are you putting a spell on this cars the brains of swimming? You can't even think stiff as a board light of. I think she would have made a Voodoo doll but sticking pain in my ass. I would have enjoyed too much. Can you do spells? That's the most embarrassing thing. They'll be some spell work later this evening spells on people. I mean I'm more of A. I'm GonNa Crystals quite a few thirty. I like the aesthetic of a crystal. I like I like the tangibility of them. I would not I'm of novice which I like the witch to me has more to do with female empowerment in feminism than it has to do with like visit. Just mean your name pass or does it just mean you're taking over the word bitch and making sure why not as funny actually. It was just listening to a podcast today about cults and they were talking about Wiccan and marked the history of that and it was really in the seventies that this political movement of women kind of reclaimed wicked stuff. No actually we're like a feminist political movement that were reclaiming all shit because of course it was some guy that like meet it fucking weird insects Colty But yeah I mean for me. It's like I'm just I find it to be kind of a word of empowerment and a way to kind of identify with other people in general of like I'm into nature and the earth and you make potions cast some spells which to me is more just like wishes. Yes like setting intention. Meditating prayer old school words are goat involved or not yet okay. I've thought about it. I've walked in on some witchy. Acid baths going on our best with goals. Certain music tone and the grams. There's blood dripping on the walls. I think because I never connected with religion really in any way this to me feels like using some sort of like I'm commuting communing ritual ritual that you guys make love to meet overcut each other now. That's not really something we're into which like to me that's all. I had this idea for church that all day long. I'm like telling you guys my ideas. I found myself this afternoon. Talking to Andrea. I'm like I have an idea. I'm not going to do this because I feel like now. People are like what's next fucking idea holy shed. I'm the we already have five hundred. Podcast IDEA for church. And I don't want to call it a church but you know a gathering of community out ever but not a community center and so I was a rougher bulletins. Yeah yeah definitely understand what she's up to. We'll have to put my you know my whole notes. But wouldn't it be cool? If every week you have different high priest priestess whatever you WANNA call it. And then that person gets the space during the day to like her practice or whatever and every night. You're coming to their communal thing. So if it's something yes if it's like you know maybe you You do some sort of witch like things you buy. I don't know Whatever you want to express or lead in. Yeah so if it is just kind of like meditation or setting your intentions for something so you have a whole week and we come to your congregation for a week. Then the next week somebody else leads it so that we can have this whole. Let's try outs like religion is really just about us being together and hearing yeah like what this other person has to offer. Take what you like. Leave the rest. You don't have to do anything you know certain way. That's my church thank you. I'm in what day of the week so I pack. I think church another. I think union hall does do something similar to that. Where for a while? I forget her name but they had this woman who I think is like a gospel singer. Curated these different. Oh well what's what's the most powerful crystal the rebel. I have to national one. No they're all people all the time. I'm like because I was getting into it with some woman who is like an ANTIBAC- ser and of a friend was like well. You're which like you of crystals I was like. I like crystals but I believe in science like I don't know if they actually fucking do anything just like holding them and they look cool and if it like makes me feel better and more grounded great but like I'm GonNa get fucking tetanus shot l. like like no these are not. This is where the problems lie. Anti whooping cough. I'm school without Musil real controversial. But somebody's judging. They're squeezing a stress ball clay. You're both extremely attractive people. Oh this is the fact so muscle. Of course you shouldn't be monogamous. We'd be rude if granted a gift. I did find this interesting. This was Ross. I spent many years thinking I had quote bad skin. But as touching and poking and prodding my face got worse and worse over the years. I realized something else was going on. I Have Dermot Tila Mania. A body focused repeated behavior. The second photo she has photos the second photo is a side by side of what my skin looks like when I'm engaging with behavior and also when I put tons of makeup on to hide the behavior this is not a before after. I am not cured. This is something I deal with daily. It's gotten significantly better than I. Relapsed often requires internal work more than anything changing my thoughts language about my skin is the hardest work but the most necessary. It's so interesting because the first thing I noticed about. You is your incredible skin and and I now I know that you were card to not fuck up. Yeah fuck up right now. Actually that. I'm just very good at covering and give you the inside scoop. At least three minutes of are pulling up and parking outside was her wanting validation with me that she looked okay. And you don't see this and like like she really when she views herself with Zoom Lens and I you know like we we all see. Ross as she is and everything's fine but she did find out. Is it like picking your hair people. Pick up their eyebrows air. Yeah it's in the same realm. I went to a support group for a little while and it was for tricky till Amina under Mattila. Manasseh they fall into the same category. Where can you tell me as the hair pulling that people know a little bit more about Michael? Faulk says that she's mentioned it on our show. She yes she pulls on her eyebrow so she'll have like half an eyebrow sometimes yeah yeah and like it varies like some people just do their head on their hair in their head they just do there eyebrows or we like their arm hair and it seemed with picking too. It's not always the face a nerve says it? Does it feel good to hurt for a second? I think it's I mean when I heard people talk about eating disorders. It sounds similar. Where it's it's like control control and relief in this weird self-harm kind of way and a lot of it does have to do I think with anxiety you know I'm on antidepressants. I'm a depressed. Anxious addict kind of GAL and skin for whatever. Reason has always kind of been a point of focus for me even when. I was really young. That's interesting you're in fashion. It's all got to be yes absolutely. I didn't just blow your mind. Just actually why I'm like trying to get out of that world in focus on yoga teaching in podcasting but yeah it for a long time and certainly society plays a huge role in all of this. Do It's like we're constantly having like product shoved in our face of like you clear skin So for most of my life I was like oh I have bad skin. You know that was the language I was using and then I kind of realized after a really bad out of it we were on vacation and I just fucking went to town on my face like the day we got there. It was at a friend's parents house. Like the fucking huge house and brothers. Vineyard there's tons of people their vacations can be kind of triggering me for some reason. I like WanNa look a certain way on vacation. Is there anything to do? Think who am I to be beautiful or it's it's not related to that like I don't deserve this. I'm trying to ruin something. No no thank you. I don't feel like there's some circumstances where feels like you're more illuminated and you want to close the chain a little bits of the not judged maybe on some subconscious level but it really does feel very like. Ocd Like my strange addiction. Type of Shit you know on compulsion like yes. It was crazy and now that we're three years out of it. I feel safe to say like it really was being on a vacate vacation with like an active Like crack addict or she. She stayed in this dark bedroom for like hours at a time. And like people are asking. Where's Ross whereas where'd she go and I'm like oh she's not feeling well. It's all the things you'd be saying about the person who's like losing their fucking mind and it was. It was like really scary. And I'm so grateful you got help for all if you can when you catch her picking. Did you say something like we've slap the hand? There's some tools at home things like our bathroom years covered. Like that's the thing people I I notice. She's like in the bathroom for too long. I'll check in usually. It's like we do you cover America's you'll see a blemish. That's not there yet. That's like the biggest trigger. Is the bathroom year. Like you can just hours can go by and literally so I'll have to. We have a shorthand bill. You get up to something. They're into messing around baby. But it's gotten so I mean it's gotten significantly better in my relationship to it as like. I know what I'm Kinda like acting out on all right all right like let's chill out whereas I just didn't have that relationship to it before it was just like what's wrong with mice gain and I would just like keep going keep going keep going and now it's just like oh. I have a behavior that like sometimes. It's a little out of control and I have to keep it in check. What's funny now that I'm older and I'm in when I'm in people's houses I can see what their diseases and like. I don't see any scales. You're not a vampire in your mayors are blacked out. I love it. It's so exciting that it wasn't until a certain age of course when I realized that it's the beautiful people that are more self conscious about their looks and their mess and that's a very good cook. Well Fuck you'll be happy to know that there's certain cosmological tools of hers. That only I know where they are. Certain tweezers or needles stupidly bought like one of those fucking like pack. That's like do your own like dermatology at home home home S. Statistics would help me and of course it did not. I felt like saying bartender. Here's a kid really and I like I think after a week of like doing damage my gave it to him and I was like this summer. I'll never find shouldn't were on twitter right now and people magazine with us in the chat. She's saying I'm really working on being less critical of myself. It's coming along this weekend twice. I started saying self-critical stuff and both times caught myself in stopped mid sentence with A. It doesn't fucking matter. I felt better both times. I chalk it up to progress and I hear this a lot in meetings like you know you'll just like constantly even if your parents are dead and they're the ones who used to criticize you're still hearing them in your head so it's really just you packing on with you and I found this thing very helpful. Either you picture you picture you as a seven year old and you go. Would you talk to that person like that would you? Would you tell that person that they are piece of Shit? Because they won't failed. Would you consider it a failure and just like just stop because that is the program happening in your mind and feels very awkward to be like not doing news? I'm going to say Nice things to myself. But that's because we turn that into a piece of shit you know. We turned self-help into like the negative world. But if you do if you until -rupt your shitty system just to even try it it's worth it. I think for a little while we're doing coaching with somebody. And you know. She wants the exercise. We're saying okay all right five minutes this kind of thing and she's like all right. I did and I left a little journal like you wanted. And I'm a piece of shed What am I even doing? This made me feel worse. I'm a fuck up Blah Blah Blah. And we know that she has a child and says well you know. Is it okay if your child talks herself this way? No well you would talk to her this way of becoming fat piece of Shit Right. No of course not on thinking it's like apparently I'm a blow your fucking mind. You're ready then. Why are you talking to yourself? Yeah you know screwed by the way yeah and when you're self critical understand that it's what year were in forgot what you're only twenty does not sound so it's twenty twenty and with the Internet whether it's your opinion though criticize you don't worry though it's common. Yeah you don't have to add to it and you'll be also don't have to read those comments which is a good metaphor for like you don't have to listen to all the negative noise coming your way you can create a safe bubble of and maybe it's with which or with comedy or whatever like you can create a model follow loving from the comments. They're all there. I'll tell you what I guess. We love you and such a great fun Patrick and Ross. Download the PODCAST. It's called who cares about Ross and Patrick Craig Christ wise writing. This episode has been great in so many ways and I agree thank you Jesus. Christ I knew he was a radical feminist. Assess Patrick Holmertz. You can follow on twitter. The whole burr reports instagram the whole burr report without the tea for Hobart PATRICO DOT COM. You'll see everything right there. And Ross Aaron Martino. How do you have to first? Name's Ross Aaron is a first name right. It's my southern parents. It's like a very southern thing to have to first name. Would you say I'm Rawson? Your mom goes Ma. Yeah Kinda all of it. Everything everyone back home is like Ross. Aaron and there's a little Twang on twitter and instagram and these get personal so follow him. Ross Aaron stiles. St Why les. For both and the PODCAST. Instagram is who cares thought. Podcast and website is the same Ross. Aaron STILES DOT COM. That's the name of your closing line or just my styling work so you know if you have any styling needs in fashion photography there you can go and see my work. Well you could see the pictures. Also that we talked about and the pictures of our guests and everything related to the show either on our APP. Our page keeping the girl DOT COM and follow us on Instagram facebook twitter. Whatever it's all under Keith. And the girl. So if you missed all these plugs we definitely tag people and link them to their page and you definitely want to check out these two guests there. You go thank you very much. Thank you Boeing Yeah.

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Badass Unscripted - Embody True Certainty

Badass Agile

06:50 min | 7 months ago

Badass Unscripted - Embody True Certainty

"Hey everybody welcome to episode about US unscripted. I want to speak directly one to one. Get right in the ear of all you leaders up there. I WanNa talk to you about a different kind of certainty you know. Our clients are always asking for winkle a habit. How much for how much how much of this whole thing cost? Kind of budgeting need. When am I going to get what feature? What's it going to include? Who signed off on that that kind of certainty that we've grown up with that we've been trained on in the. Corporate Universe is no longer serving us. And that's how we got to agility and I've said it so many times when people resist when there's pushback what's the pushback. We miss our certainty. We need our certainty. Were certainly need are certain? Ti- people love that feeling of if you just made a promise everything would be. Okay knowing full. Well that most promises that attempt to predict the future don't get kept today so if we can't predict the future. What kind of certainty can we possibly offer? Well here's what I suggest. When you lead people be certainty. What does that mean? Did you ever watched people on a bus or a train whether you take it or whether you just observed one passing by take a good look. What are people doing? Are they talking to one another? Are they staring out the window? Observing the miracle of nature of modern metropolitan life. Are they taking it all in moment by moment or are they slaves to their devices to the heed the call of every Ping in Ding notification popped up? Are they constantly serving? That dopamine hit an lovable am I needed enough for someone to text me back or like my post or comment on my comment being sucked into the rat hole of watching strangers fight on social media just to count out of ten people. How many people do you see in a close quarters almost social situation rather than speaking to one another engaging in helping and inspiring one another rather their lives are led by something outside themselves when you get that email or text message? It's almost like a command that you must follow out they. You're not in charge of your time. They are. It's interesting because this is a relatively new problem. Twenty years ago. Most of that situation didn't even exist at worst. You're a slave to your books or maybe you had your Walkman on the way we've always suffered from this problem but I feel like now it's magnifying. It's amplifying so you my friend if you lead then who should be leading you your cell phone your social addictions your dopamine flow. I don't think so. Start by being in command of your own soul and that can start with your attention. It's the small things that matter. Be Aware of your surroundings. If you're sitting on that bus put your phone away. Make a commitment to beware. What's going on around you? Maybe there's someone with a young child in a stroller who could use a hand holding the door open. Maybe someone can't quite figure out the schedule. What stopped there at notice. Look out the window. What's going on with the trees? Dc Grass or snow or rain note. What's going on around you? Hey How many times have you passed by your building at work and realized that you never noticed that the building next door has been torn down or there's a for sale sign in the window. There's no thirteenth floor in your elevator. How many details pass you by? Because you're not awake because we give into choices that are made for us by others. If you were in command of your attention if you were present in the moment if you make eye contact him realistic having conversations she can free yourself the need to constantly check your messages to respond to email right now right when you get it. Then you're in control not them meaning them with a Capital T. When you live your life that way you are certainty itself. You're in control. You're sure you're confident. You Have Dominion over your time and Energy and listened that simple practice when you show up at work. People are going to notice that you're the one you're the one who will lead. You're the one who go I either. You have the answers or you know how to get them. You will not react with anger or fear because you look like you're in complete control of your universe. That's the kind of certainty that people really want business cases and BRD's and Gantt Charts in spreadsheets. They're just a form of certainty. They're just an attempt to control the unknown. But when you show up as someone who does not break down who knows what to do. Who is incomplete control and mastery of themselves when things are uncertain when things are fearful? Then you can make change. You can build trust. You can improve adoption. You can transform individuals and then teams maybe whole organizations something to think about guys. It starts with a simple act. Let me know what you think you can find me at. Dot Com or on twitter at bats underscore agile and on instagram at bats. Agile crazy thanks for tuning in a Cenex time until then stay bettas aw.

dopamine US winkle Twenty years