5 Episode results for "Donald Dewey"
218: My T.C.W. with Bill Lawrence
"Hey this is Jason. McIntyre. Join me every weekday morning on my podcast straight fire with Jason McIntyre this isn't your typical sports pod pushing the same tired narratives throat. Every straight fire gets you honest opinion on all the biggest sports headlines, accurate stats to help you win big at the Sports Book and all the best guests do yourself a favor and listened to straight fire with Jason McIntyre on the iheartradio APP apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. What if you could learn from one hundred of the world's most inspiring women now, you can introducing Senecas one hundred women to hear a new podcast brought to you by Seneca women and iheartradio. I'm Kim, as a rally in celebration of the hundredth anniversary of American women getting the vote where bringing you the voices of a hundred groundbreaking and history-making women listen to Seneca's one hundred women to here on the iheartradio APP apple podcasts for wherever you get your podcasts. Business how would you this is how we do it this is how we do it. Non. As how we do it? Shannon another no. Not A. Good Afternoon High High High High High High Love You I. Love You. Holy Cow Wealth. You're well first of all to well, you look beautiful I don't know what's amazing. Only I see. Daniel Daniel. You've changed your look and your background I am. I mean I guess I can tell the fans. I am currently in New York. City. Oh We're jumping around the world indeed I'm a meeting. You know you know what's The to black people on jumping around the. World. At all. Times. Family for the first time I'm sorry. That's amazing. Things. Go they like you to like you're charming motherfucker while you honor me I really appreciate that haven't met yet. We Got Cova tests this morning. So when we come back with negative results and we quarantine a little bit, then we'll be okay meeting people. But for the time being we're shacked up just kinda chilling. Did you the rapid test? It is I think. So yeah, we went to the went to the hospital and got the no swab. It's my first time getting the no swab. This is the thing they go. They go deep. Donald this isn't wow. This is the thing that everybody's doing nowadays like everybody's just getting that rapid test to make sure that they can hang out with each other or the handling. The should've told me you COULDA hung out in my apartment I'm so sorry. Narrow empty I didn't want to bother. Yeah I'm so sorry next time. For. It Down Oh that's very interesting because when I ask for that, Shit, he tells me no every time. Yeah. You know why you know why? Because Danell will fuck in be respectful I can picture you have. A party and smoking fucking jazz. Cabbage. One. I don't have any friends other than you. And Joel and Dan Joel, and I don't hang out. Okay. To the tour bus. Wait till the tour bus Oh baby out my God that's so dangerous. That's so but I can I can trust. I can picture trusting Daniel in my apartment and I know that nothing would happen with you. I. Can picture like You'd forget some candle next to the drapes and then. backdraft. I find that one offensive. Because what makes you think that I like candles? Fuck is that about that's expensive candle Candle. People who does not like candles I think I mean my wife loves candles so they burn in our house but I'm one of those people who's like you're going to light a candle. And is like a fire hazard. Just I mean smells waxy incented. The only candles I do like is at the at the hotel whatever that hotel is that's in New York City, and the lobby smells like it smells like this certain candle and apparently this candle cost shit ton of money I wanna say it's the bowery couldn't our probably? Yeah. The firing at the club in the lobby, it's not a club it's like a really sexy lounge. There's there's one that has literally a club right next like on some nights you come downstairs and there's a club popping right next door it's like. You obviously. You can easily what's the other one? There's a bunch of them anyway. Josh reading state at the Bowery so much they gave him a an embroidered bathrobe with his name on it and when he would stay, the bathroom would be lying on. What you have to leave the bathrobe there when he lands literally look at the bowery when you state when you spend enough money there and stay there long enough you get your own embroidered. Robe and they lie on your bed when you're there and when you're not there, they stored away in the embroidered road room. That's hilarious. Well, good for baller shit good for ratings are good for radio. See what what I will I need to know first of all, I have a special surprise for you on this episode I planned. Okay. Donald Joel and dental. No. With the surprises you got made a fucking all you got the. Zach you got me to simulate a you. Know Dot com. It's not a six thousand dollar golf simulator. No. I really appreciate that though. Speaking of speaking of surprises I don't even know who to changes I imagine he's a very famous rapper right Yeh. Yes. You. Do you like to change you guys are you to chains fans because the three of you? I think like rap right to. Conic I was GONNA say. Most certainly, jump man man jump future right dim boys up to something that's. Right. Now, I've never heard sue chain song I imagine us very successful and I can tell you that he's with Kanye West. Because I went on the interwebs today and Kanye West gave two chains an amphibious TV. That is the coolest looking thing I've ever seen it. Is a billionaire dude, no I know but he's still gave his friend in an. ATV and he put a plaque on it. You got I mean if you're listening to this just google, it's the coolest thing ever and I'm hoping that one day Donald will get rich enough to buy me one. If I get a billion dollars in my bank account when I see how much. How much A billion. Yeah. I think you need a billion. Man It's so it's called. Sherman or something hold on I saw has Konya probably paid for the thing instead still had a billion after he pays your well. Can you look up what it's called? And FIBIA ATV the two chains got from Konya. SHERP ATV's easier ATV's yes. You've gotta call me every branded. It's branded well, he he tricked it out and I'm sure there's a dope soundsystem. Did. Did you see the picture you guys you're listening you have to Google image this thing everybody needs one everybody needs. You know what I want I want the SHERP. ATV, turns into a sub I want the subversion I want the one that when. Look, it's great to be able to go over hills and it's great to be able to do like you know. Go into water when being chased. Embedded in that to be like fuck fucking I'm out and dive dive into the depths of the ocean. Depths that you know something like dude, I want to free inspired car I, want the pig. On ground and water. Joe. Shit Land, and sea under. Do Dude. You see the picture Joel just sentence to it's fucking amazing. Fighting. Freedom over. Where Reverend there's trouble over land and sea and Joe Is there. Oh my God that's tight if if in a wrench in was in ATV. Looks like a GSI should looks like a Cobra Biegel. Cold. Wow. It looks like a Cobra vehicle from the GI Joe Cartoon. Only wished with the proverb. Yeah. He he he engraved. On a plaque and put it on on the thing. This is wild. You guys. My only wish for Donald on is that he gets rich enough to buy me that thing. I hope that one day that is possible I. Hope Tell me I'm a dental tell me when. I mean when the surprises in present is is present, the surprise is ready and waiting. Okay so Donald. I got you a present today is. No, it's a a donald for listeners out there. We were hoping to invite Sarah Chalk on today because she's prominent and very funny in this episode but she is just I think she's like camping in the middle of nowhere Canada with your family. And so she couldn't come. So I reached out to everybody's favourite guest. Let's bring him in. Jason Ronald. Donald Close Your eyes closed rise. Bill largest. A. Lookout Patty is built look how much how you bring Donald. Josh. How could I be a surprise? I think about every episode Still. This is our. It's always a good episode when bills on. Campus owed when bill is on the fans. Love IT I. Love It. I'm GonNa tell you one thing I was hoping you were. Golf Simulator Bill I'M NOT GONNA lie. Bill I go I. Got surprised goes a golf simulator. All the way I understand that even by the way, even just like one of those nets, you put your backyard and he hit into that would have been that would have been as good as me. No No. This is way better than no. It's about the way it's not one of those tiny nets that catches golf balls with Matt. It's perfect man that'll be that'll be the next surprise I have to tell you that. I. Love You so much. But one thing that really annoys me is in my in my social media when I'm scrolling and I see and I'm just posted a podcast Thailand I did and I think it's funny and I WanNa know what everyone thinks and you weren't on particular one and the first communist more bill please. That's all this is about from you. Now it means it's working. That's my Dr I. Really. I really hate it I hate it because Donald finally launched something successful without you and your slowly infiltrating. John. This week considered without. It's a scribe on. It's totally of course with him, but he wasn't I just think it's funny that everywhere like merch ideas everyone's like how about bill on a hat saying five six seven I'm not doing a ton of re tweeting wait we but I will say anybody the tweets me and says bill I'm enjoying your podcast with Zach Donald I need it. We re tweets that. Makes me so happy it makes. I know that you love it and and. But the truth is that you're very funny and the people of Bill Lawrence, and also we have to say congratulations because I. Don't know if the three of you who are not bill known but his show Ted Lasso is a giant hit people fucking love it unders applause, Dan. Thank you Zach is cool by the way is. One of those things I wish I could America because then you know I love bringing the people back onto shows that I've worked with before. So I'd see you also such a gift that you were in London and got to direct ones that was super I. Know I know and if you were shooting right now, I could be directing another one because I'm here but you have you have you have some of your. Favorites on the show already I didn't know you had on the show man. Oh. Yeah. By the way I forgot. Donald but the advantage Brett lives there you that guy that guy? Did a pilot with me and Brett by the way Donald this is this. Is Become it's like what Zach used tooth girls Izakson London Brett lives in London with the love Brett Goldstein. Is a writer and producer and he started pilot the Donald Donald night did together and he's one of the producers and stars Ted. Wow. So he plays Roy and I'm trying to make Zach be friends with him and Mike. Zach. You've got a friend with your children. You will love I. Don't know if you've heard me out with him yet you will love him. He is our speed. We joked about a down line joked about going on a mandate because we had on as you know bill because you you you did interrupting bill and we joked about like wanting if it weren't cove like wanting to to go out and hang out with Shay but it's something about how it's weird in your forties to like what do you how do you like start a new male friendship? It's like, Hey, would you like to go on on a mandate? And and bill is trying to set me up on a mandate with Brett while should do you should hang out with him. You guys would laugh lot man and he doesn't give a shit that you're Zach braff in were on scrubs or anything like that. He's one no I already worked with them direct on Lasso and he was he was delightful and funniest shit does he write episodes to? Yeah he's because he's a dollar he's a writer I. He got he someone another one that people be friends with he created his own show on AMC comes out in two months. It just got picked up for a second season so. He's got his own. He's got his own show. He started another one. He's wrote a big movie in the UK called Nan and he's got a very big podcast that he wants you both to be on. He's his podcast not to promote on. Yours is called films to be buried with, and they sometimes shoot it at the British film. Institute, and he basically just interviews you about what movies you'd like to be known for as your favorite Donald will be all about star wars for you. When you die, what are the movies you want your kids to see what movies influenced you the most and all that stuff he's awesome. That's cool. That's awesome. I'M GONNA be on it because he's already hit me up and we're our mandate process has begun. We are we are chatting we are chatting. He is also by the way Zach coupled with a younger charismatic, stunningly beautiful and fun. British woman like yourself. It's as if you guys were pert yet hit by the way who her name is Beth but because use the word fit over there if a girl is very attractive or very attractive, he started calling her fit Beth when they first started dating and it has somehow stuck as nickname. So when you call them up, it'd be like, Hey, what are you up to? He's like I'm just here having dinner with fit Beth, and it's One of the all-time solid. British nicknames. Excited to take him on a double date with fit. Florence. We haven't. We haven't started the show with with with singing yet and I think since it is your catchphrase, you might WanNa do the honor. I don't like to do it when people ask me. Nobody's asking nobody's asking. Five, six, seven, race. Docs in. Canada. Here I'm going to try something new with the breakdown. Excited about the breakdowns. Karma's. GonNa get excited about this when bill because people started freaking talking trash on the Internet about dude jd does the summary of life and everything at the end of every episode. Please just tell us what's going on because I have no idea then I pardon me said it's a PODCAST you've had over ten years to catch up and watch these episodes. So what's the problem and people are still beefing so? I just want to double check that you're a forty six year old man who's been in the public eye for most of your life and some common a guy made on the Internet upset you just double checking. Absolutely yes and it wasn't just a guides, girls and guys. Either way. Probably, three people. I would say about six. Six people. Out of the half a million over half a million people that follow me. Plain Old Now So wait you're saying Donald. I'm clear. You're saying that someone trolled the thing you do, and now you're going to change it and you're going to change to what? I'm just going to give a summary of what happens in the episode. I'm not sure. By the way you should do is protest once in a while is you should just read Zack's end voice. As Burr. As you as you told us, they don't really make much sense out of context they're like, Hey, end of the day, the friends that you have are the best friends you're ever going to have. Friends. Things happen. Too much that's bad. Writing Buddy. You're losing half three times. Have are going to be the friend at the end of the day. The fringe you have will always be the fringe you get. So be happy with what you have obtained sub. All you need. All you need is slow motion crane shot and a stat indie song and I got tears. DARLAS ASSISTANT DONALD GETS. Out Works come on. Well, you don't WanNa. Told me that actually you're the WanNa taught me that because. It's no bullshit bill. You don't WanNa told me that and it's it's so bad that I go to other jobs now. And Right. As we'll have, it'll say something like that little be like. We have to get out of here because we have to find a way to. Do something and I'm like we're saying we have twice. Is there another way that we can do this? We gotta find a way out. More, see right is looking like how to fuck. And it's always like I always want to be like well, you know. Legendary. Comedy Writer Bill Lawrence to. You guys. You guys can do l. you'd like you see bill Lawrence chooses to do. All right. So if I understand this cradle, you're just GonNa, summarize the facts of the episode because you've been successfully trolled. Yes Okay. Still going to. Be on the. Bill was going to be on the shot said. This is this is this is what you get when you complain Petulant Recap Right? Right. That's what you get. This is what you complain. Ready One, two three this episode shows every level of the relationship Elliott nurse flowers are at the end of there's Jordan Cox are of the brand new baby face Turkey collar now engaged in a feeling the pressure of having to follow through and jd a single and ready to mingle with tasty Komo wife. Go. That's what I don't like episode I don't. I don't I don't like it. I know you don't like it. For me, I have to be honest with you, Donald. There was something nice about you as this many years later, looking back and seeing the episode as a whole and giving your emotional sort of summary of it from someone who wasn't really to you. What you've said before wasn't really looking at it very closely at the time and now this many years later you're looking back at it and seeing something I I I think that's very valuable and I think. Listen. If you're one of the six people that successfully troll Donald, you can type in code scrubs to sixteen summary and you'll be homerun there or go to Trevor Wicky and he'll brecon summarize for you. Yes. This is what you get for being petty here's. Donald can't ask for this, but I would ask people that are listening to that when they love Donald's. summations to please let him know after this episode that you love the way he used to do it because I found it much more passionate and I love hearing them talk about it I. I like it the other way too I'm not GonNa lie to you. So that was the only time by the we in. No matter how long we do this podcast that is the only time. You will ever hear Donald Dewey True Boring summary Episode I like I like that you discover something Donald because let's be honest you rather on jazz cabbage or playing a video game and not really paying attention to what we were doing. So now twenty years later you're looking back. Walks. I'll tell you know this episode. It really makes you think about the relationship that you're going that I'm going through right now and made me look at that. You know what? I mean my wife and I have surpassed every level of relationship in this episode we've had the kid. And we you know they're growing. Now we've already did the beginning dates. We did the we did the break-up and then get back together stuff like everything that's happened in this episode, my wife and I have done. and. That's the one thing because these characters are so new. That's the one thing in this episode that is missing. If you ask me is the successful we've done it. All these guys are finding each other and getting to know each other. In my taste wife. Episode. This is a really good episode. I. I. I. laughed so many times I. Feel I'm so glad first of all I know that you technically write them all because you're overseeing the writer's room, but your name is actually on this one along with Adam Bernstein who's directed the pilot, and so I was just so happy that I happen to ask you to come on because not only is it a great seminal episode with a lot of great stuff in very moving I thought at the end but you happen to be one with your with your name on the script. So I was I was W glad you're here and Lavar has. Laverne has the best line in the show what episode. Was One I. Think I wrote down that line a good show today show today good show today could show. Yes they. Did six wrote that down as so the show opens up guys with I'm trying to. Go in for a slow kiss with rowdy. And the audiences, the visual makes the audience go what the fuck is going on, and then you reveal the Donald. Is Coaching me because I haven't been with a woman in a while and I'm rusty and he's giving me some some drills kissing drills. Don't way. Left or right right one of the I always go right go right. And I'm basically I just wanted to say out loud that that Bill Lawrence Scott on television network television show that opens with a man French Kissing taxidermied dog. Happy made me happy about the section I know Donald's heard it before I wanted Donald to tell me if it was real or not. When you're working your rap with that dog, I think you use your young. Zach. BRAFF sexy voice and. He's like you want some kimball. Put I put my finger on his lips. Donald. If he ever heard that sexy voice for real trying to lay that sexy girl that sexy voice on people back in the de now no. No I've never been. I've never been next to Zach when he has really game down. That's. Me You've Turbie Slur I've. Heard I've I've seen you be like I'm going in and then you go in and then come back like Oh. Yeah worked but I've never seen I've never been privy to hey girl. I've never been listening to the music. In the song where the base finally gets to. Talk. Hey Guerrero. You come to the. Baby I never bet. I've never heard that moment with. My my game isn't that good but my game is shirt certainly I. Don't have a low base. Hey, baby voice. I did think it was just I. Love I. Love about the show bill is what I'm saying is that I'm in a joking way but I just love that how bizarre this show is that it opens like this and then and then just when you think like. Okay that was random and weird way later on when I go to kiss amy smart you call it back 'cause here Donald's like no man you go right to you gotta go left when I'm leaning into kiss and then later I go to kissing me smart and she's like Ooh you went left As if as if by the way, anyone has ever used that as a judgment factor for kissing whether you want to write no one has ever said that. Right. It makes me think if you're listening right now think about it. Do you do you have a normal way that you lean in to make with someone I'm doing it alone by myself right now I think I'd probably do normally favor left dare I go right Oh no, I know. I go right. Joel. Unlocked Donald. I. Would Walk in well because we both. Well you go. Right. Right right okay. I don't know how might be a lefty when it comes to the Leinen. Question of did she go left because that's the only way it works but if was left also I don't know I gotTa Tell Ya. It's really prominent try later on and see what happens but I think I'm a lefty when it comes to that bill I couldn't help but wonder when Christie's is being. So incredibly horrible to Johnny See. Tearing as they deal with their newborn, if any of this could possibly have been based on real life. Barbie. You guys are well aware that I was just at the stage of having kids with Krista and that I without a doubt in a world I was supposed to remove my shoes and wash my hands even though I still wasn't allowed to hold my daughter. And it was a lot of get out of the room. Don't make noise turn that light off go get me this go do that. So yes, by the way the only thing that was different was I was not nearly. Shirtless is often johnny. See chose to be around his wife and newborn. Right otherwise buses. So Johnny see is is naked no. Why do you do when you're in the writer's room? Are you guys at this point you know ended season to sort of laughing like oh, Johnny loves to be naked let's make him be naked and shellfish mussels. Do you really think. Right. John E shirtless or That one. Did. You normally decides on his own, but this one we did script but kind. For full disclosure, we've seen so many scenes that we hadn't written it. that we decided to write at once and have her say we all get it. You love your body. Right response and he puts on a Schalke. Jersey is that a real sports player shockey Jeremy shockey was. An for the New York giants he was he played really well for us his you know his football career was short. He had a pretty short football career actually is really good. Got Hurt a bunch you. Yeah. Like a lot of head like he broke a lot of bones I think got his head hit, but he was a tight end he was like. You know before Tony Gonzalez Titans were pretty much just blocking and everything like that and then Tony and Johnson. and. There's a bunch of them now and the best one ever is by fog Gronkowski like Gronkowski's taken everything. All of these other titans have done and turned it into a a receiver role that is very. It's it's unheard of to have a bunch of receivers and your best receiver. Your Titan. And Watch Watch. Did what Donald Zach size rollback head when I say but don't you think Travis Kelsey is also a coming up behind shock coming up garage right now. Actually. Braids. Question I have a question I. I'm sorry but we're talking about ten right now. I I literally like J. D. I swear to God you said tight end and like Gd I went off and started thinking about what I picture is tight end a nice firm bottom and then you guys pulled me back when you said Gronkowski because I, think I know what that guy looks like. Can you explain to the listeners who don't follow football? What is tight end do? A. tidiness. The base of a tied in basically a blocker. Really. It's like somebody who can who? is on the line and blocks for the quarterback. But is eligible to catch the ball. Also if needed, you know what I mean. So you only have a certain. Bunch of players that can actually catch the ball. It's illegal for other players to do it. Oh, I didn't know that position right? So you're saying not every players allowed to catch the ball no. Eligible they have to be an eligible receiver sometimes, someone will have to tell the refs that on a certain formation he is eligible like alignment can suddenly be eligible, but not everybody can catch the ball. I had. I did not know that and then, and then what Donald it to make it more interesting to a and I'm talking about is the position evolved because these guys are so big there to these. The new modern tight end is too big to be covered by a little defensive back were the ones who cover receivers and too fast to be covered by big linebacker and because these guys are now become kind of ultimate athletes on football teams these Travis Kelsey Kelsey. Tony Gonzales right. If you have a good tight if you have a good tight end. Tight end donal. Now, we're back on. Thank you. Thank you. Now. We're. GRONKOWSKI's come out of retirement because. Thank God. He's he's probably the most popular tied in ever in the history of tied in of a character. He's like I once worked out with this dude and when I tell you. Holy Shit like the workout I was doing was a warm up for him. You know what I mean and I was I was sweating in jumping and lifting weights and everything like that, and it was literally a warm up for him and then he went into something else after so. Let's talk about how. He's decided to call me dogs names. Let's talk about these pratfalls I? Though man because there are a couple of pratfalls in the opening that are pretty dope one Ricky Schroder. Schroeder has a great pratfall over the thing with the blindfold on yeah, and then you have a great pratfall. Epic One yeah. I even winced it myself. I was like, how did that non hurt because it's definitely me doing and it looked like it fucking hurt. It looked it looked like really really hurt and the noise on those two it seemed violent I. liked it. I feel like if I was as if there was a sport that was stunt pratfalls I, could be good at it. Well, your best pratfall of all time is a tasty come away F-. Either later this year or next year when you fall down the stairs at her husband's funeral. That's next episode. That's coming up. Also I want to give a shoutout to page Peterson. She's been on the show four times now and we. and. We've yet to talk about her. She was the nurse that said I'm having surgery right now or I'm having whatever it is right now in loving it this fourth time on the episode and she's the one that says aren't you the one that likes to make out with dogs right before you go into did you know her? How did you know her name? You looked it up I looked it up. Oh Yeah. Yeah, it's good of you to give her a shot up because she she actually she. She's got a lot of funny one liners and she did a good job. It's so hard back then to have continuity and do a network show that bike you're hoping that people would see the same nurses and doctors that don't necessarily speak every week but still have those people in the background every week you know. So it's ruling we were able to do that was somebody. Yeah. I think this is her last episode unfortunately, but warm open. That's because she went and got lots more work. I believe she did I believe she did I believe she did get another job she went she's she's she's talented and funny and pretty. So those are good qualities to have in Hollywood speaking of which leads to a conversation about amy smart, which we're going to have after this break because she certainly is pretty and she certainly is funny and she does a great job in this episode so we will be right back and. The, one thing I know about being in a relationship is you can really make your partner smile with surprise jewelry for no reason you're looking online. 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I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping and I think that talking to a counselor about it could be super helpful because you just don't know what the source of it news and there's a lot of anxiety in the world today and it's good to get to the bottom of what might be bothering you at you know Zach, there are a lot of people out there that feel the same way. So I would suggest simply fill out A. Questionnaire to help access your specific needs and get matched with your counselor and under forty eight hours better help can give you access to help that may not be available in your area joined the million plus taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experience better help counselor in fact so many people have been using better health. They're currently recruiting additional counselors in all fifty states better help as an affordable option and our listeners get ten percent off your first month with the discount code real friends get started today at better help dot com slash real friends that's better H E L P dot com slash real friends talk to a therapist online and get help. You Know. And we're. And we're. Back on. Excited a bell. You gotTA. Do it. I'm still how by the way? What's the early verdict on interrupting bill on that I. Love. I. Love It. Like. Oh the fans love it and I felt bad because. Your tone in the second one was sort of melancholic. I set him if you heard the last episode but I was I think we may have heard bills feelings and I was like we bill you allowed to go on as long as you want. If you want to do a seven minute monologue is fine by us the fan who by the way we didn't hurt bills feelings Donald said he was cool with. An. Donald said I'm fine doubts I. Think the quote is I'm fine with it. It's Bill I'm fine with it. If I'm just I can't remember specifically but I think it was exactly Zach who sal. I, always the funny thing was wait. The funny thing was on your last minute trivia. The answer was Elizabeth Banks and I didn't get it at all but donald knew it and you only thing you'd recorded as thanks Zach I'm sure you're the one who got it. Some other way I don't expect because of Donald's rep on the show for him to remember this stuff. So when he does get one, I'm happily surprised are you kidding me when Elizabeth banks came on the show I thought it was the biggest deal. After watching the forty year old virgin and he goes I'M GONNA put my bicycle in your trunk and she goes She came on the shelves like I'm paying attention to this. I want to talk about something before we go forward with the smart thing Ralphie's back on this episode. Kid and somebody said to me on the INTERWEB, and I'm not sure if this is true because now. I didn't remember the young man's name. Apparently Ralphie Zam. Shit is he really that's cool. Currently Ralphie's inches him either as one of the kids or as. The. Team this is nineteen years ago. Or as one of the superheroes, this is good because there's a whole bunch. There's a whole bunch of says end at the end of the ZAM. Spoiler. Try and figure out, and maybe you could send us in the chat a picture of what he looks like today because I'm I'm dying the know. But I actually saw that movie in moving the theaters because Zach is the its act places in that. No no bill. That's different. That's a different tack what. You guys would all have. ATV's like like Kanye West just gave three chains I. Think you're correct about joey being inches, Zan. Said somebody somebody said it to me. And I was wrong. That's the same person that was wrong about how brilliant your summaries of the episodes are. Thank you. Thank you. person who said that Joey was inches Zam you were wrong. About something though last week Joey was in the gag reel. Absolutely thrown into the glass door exit. By accident. Remember out tossed into it. I also remembered on the gag reel for those of you who like to go back and look at them, and by the way if you don't know we use the words interchangeably for those of you don't know. Gag and blooper reel are something we cut together at the end of every season. They're just kind of the mistakes. Funny. Funny mistakes from when we're filming and I think they're all on Youtube. You can look up for example, season two scrubs lather say blooper or gag. They're kind of used interchangeably and they're very funny and one of the thing not only Ralphie hitting the door on there. But in this episode when Donald Falls over Rowdy do you remember this I don't know if it's awesome. A crew member was like holding up rowdy to make sure didn't fall over or something we had rowdy wasn't held up does we rowdy? Because he had trouble standing at that point because some of his leg strength has deteriorated. Put Rowdy add to be kind of. To. Maddie gardening Cuban. Rowdy rigs I forgot he was rowdy was fastened. He was kind of fastened to the carpeting thing there to stand upright you know what I mean and the assumption was when Donald hit rowdy that he would go down but I still couldn't I still couldn't the joke is I've trip over rowdy and but rowdy couldn't fall or die right and so I had to pretend that I trip over rowdy with. Knocking Rowdy over and it's Up to to stay up as if was solid and fell down, not like fell on top of rowdy. So on the gag reel, which you'll see is that donald trips over rowdy rowdy falls down and then magically. POPs back up. You started the whole crew start cackling. fucking funny I when I saw when I saw the gag on this when I saw the Stunt fall on this I went oh, my God I remember that moment this is like nineteen years ago. That's funny. It was was very disturbing to sit made the dogs seem like. Bill, what was was the story about amy I'm sure that I had. If you had asked me and you would said, hey, we need a very funny attractive new love interest for you. If the year was two thousand and two, I probably was. Because I think that you know she's obviously a beauty but I really think she's got comedic chops and I thought she was really really good in this episode. Or? We had. Randomly, you'd be surprised but a lot of times. Casting. Especially, if it's not huge stock casting starts much like Donald said about Elizabeth Banks who obviously is a huge star now in back there was doing. Whatever horse movie was and Virginia not all that stuff and just kind of getting her career was the worst movie. She was She Played Jeff Bridges. Young wife is. No. One even knows her. The what. No Id you guys you guys. Seabiscuit. She played Jeff Bridges Young White than that with Brown hair, and she was also in catch me if you can. I think with Leo. Leo. She was also an all of the Spiderman movies as the secretary for JJ J. J. Jameson message name J J Jonah Jameson J. John. So. But the point is like sometimes casting will come especially when people are starting to dig the show and we'll do it from having watched a movie and I think. A bunch of the writer in the room saw road trip because cast both amy smart and remember Dj qualls or whatever his name the tall kind of Dorky they were both from road trips. I'd be okay. This is a funny movie with people doing comedy and the cool thing was scrubs at this point had reached a stage that when you reached out to people like that if they had seen the show like amy was really cool about going come to a bunch you know so I mean you're. A little bit is a through mutual friends and through me dude. No not through you through jog. Oddly I've known amy since road trip when I was remember the tight and she was doing road trip and then I did felicity and she was on felicity at the same time as I was and then. She came and did scrubs some pretty sure at some point. There was an it might have been Josh Rain. But yeah. But Josh was dating Josh was dating at the time her amy's best friend. A woman named Deborah and So Anyway, I I knew her a little bit and whatever happened happened and She's just great on the show and I. Thought it was funny bill the setup you wrote where you're setting up the saddest story ever like. She's a she's been left all alone. She's a young bride is so tragic and you're like totally leading the audience down this this whole, and then it cuts to the classic scrubs sections turnaround with everything. So funny. Boys are also she happens to be incredibly hot and everybody calls her tasty conaway for something like that. I remember getting a note on a tasty coma wife of. The. A huge one whoever covered the show from NBC thinking that was too insensitive for not only thinking that was too insensitive for everybody you know all the characters we like to call her that. But because of that note. We wrote into the script that you are the one. Your character is one that gave her that name remember at the end she's like. Do People call me tasty coma wife and you're like, I don't know like I. Love It. I thought it up. So I met people who are listening bill would be interested to know that that you know you gotta hit show as I as it says on scrubs wicky season two is our biggest season in terms of viewership ever, and you're still getting minute notes like that from from an from a network Yeah realize. But it's a good thing because all it really means is when it shows doing well. The people that work on networks they there because they love TV that's why they're not in business. You know that's why they didn't go to you know into the financial world and so once a show has some heat and buzz behind it. It's even more exciting to try and contribute and give your two cents and it's never militias. Interesting they did. This wouldn't be cool if they did that and then as producers you make the choice we what everybody feel the pride of ownership which we like to do on this show or. Do. You get jerky and go hey now that we have leverage anything you say which I think is counterproductive because then people aren't looking to with US especially with the Disney folks who gave us notes you know we loved them feeling like they were part of the creative partnership remember when we did the musical and the president of Disney studios poets like rented a whole theater for us and has all. Go Watch the musical on a big movie theater and stuff, and that's because they felt like they're all part of it and you also you also become friends with people in time you know what I mean. Yeah I've I'M NOT GONNA lie I have a bunch of friends a few I Shan't say a bunch. I have a few friends that are actual network executives. Now you know what I mean and work. Running to Julia friends who helped run that run Disney studios all the time and she was such a huge. Cheerleader for the show I, remember all you guys having great relationships with it'd make such a difference when you have an executive who really gets it and campaigns for for the show because I feel these these decisions on your life or death or just maiden. In. Conference rooms, the numbers are looked at in judged and and I'm sure but but there's also like the it's on the bubble the the how many people in the room rumor going no trust. Me Just give it a chance and as opposed to going And if you're at sounds like what you're saying also that if you're the show run in your Dick and you're on the bubble people like fuck that guy no, cancel it. You know it's it's interesting I I do agree with that. You know I think you have to find that fine line of. Standing up for what you care about creatively, not capitulating. But also if people invested in the show, why not you know let them feel the pride of ownership of their work in their butts off on I will say like for us, there's a absolute direct correlation to the seventh year. I didn't care when the show ended. After. We got through six years as long as we knew because I knew how I wanted to show to end. The seventh year the show almost ended without us being able to control it because of the writers. Strike Mend and I think it was only because how the writers and how you guys reacted towards Disney our studio that when NBC. Said Roger Strike were done the ABC called up and said how do you guys like to switch to another network and do your last season and I that was one of my favorite seasons of the show season eight so I think that happened in part because we consider them part of our team. What season was it that we took? We are hiatus was so long one time no, it wasn't. It was. Almost a year. Yeah. Season seven ended right in the early part of the season and season eight we decided to move it over to ABC and there was a long gap before we started shooting. I think it might. It might have been a full calendar year it was crazy. I feel you reminded me that I I felt sad sad about the sort of Medieval Times episode we did because I put so much love and work in directing it, and you put so much love and work into writing it and because of what was happening in the writers strike that that would have been the the series finale of scrubs not only that. Under appreciated it because man that was expensive slash Slash fun episode to do, and I don't think everybody loved. It was an member NBC because there was a strike and they didn't care about. Anything, other than bottom line at that point Jig. juggled the order of episodes to air. That lasts as if it was the season finale in it made no sense. Yeah and a lot of like that's it. That's how you ending the show and really know where we didn't mean do please like it still. It was very upset as an image to the princess bride. That's great. Episode is so cool. Oh Man, I love that episode no one ever talks about whenever we bring up conversations about what's your favorite episode they say the musical they say the Brandon Frazier all the standards but no one ever ever mentioned that episode and I thought it was really good. Those cool slowed here. Say something I want. Almost skipped past passing. This one is five, twenty, one I'm doing a thing because it's A. Compliment, to, Donald. I loved because we did a bunch of different versions over the years Donald Might, not remember. Of when Laverne Aloma would kind of break into Donald's. Questions and he would say like you would say we're only deal with people invite in this one he says I checked the guest list for this conversation you're not on it. And that's it. This is what at the end you made a noise. Remembers seeing that data they made me so. You're not. I don't know what? What it was. Fantastic. Accepted and received. I don't know where that came from I watched it today and I laughed my ass off. At. I noticed now but I noticed now at this point in the show. I started getting really comfortable. You know what I mean. If you're watching the show from the beginning when we started like as much as as much as I like to think that I knew about comedy when we started I, feel like I was out of everyone the one who had the hardest time picking up jokes and the crazy thing was you kept writing jokes for me and sometimes I would nail them sometimes I wouldn't but I'm starting to notice as it's going on. Now I'm starting to get comfortable with the character and it's it doesn't feel like it sounded like it felt like before that I was reading it or I was forcing it and now I'm just starting to relax. You're doing yes. You can tell how naturalistic you are now, but you're just harsh on yourself away. All performance do you were always funny Dude I love that you put yourself under that critical I, but it's not true but I know. But also one thing I'll say bill is to use a sports term is that he is in the zone in this episode there's. Risk. There's lots of little riffing. You're doing now and you feel confident I thought you were really good in this episode. Both doing. And the end when he's mad at Ralphie. What is you shut your mouth right now? By, the way we. Serve. got. Interrupting. It's an interrupting bill moment wom here again, Inter. Europe. So for real occasionally have reeker jokes over the years that you were listening on the board. You guys wouldn't recognize them because there are just tiny jokes that we thought we'd keep going and one of Donald's was there is four different times across the years. Donald told Laverne that he. Unless. She got an invitation. She should sit down he seemed the guest list she's not on it. So many times do you know it happened at a the nine minute mark what a weird recurring joke was for you? Zach in a reference to. Call yourself the boat you know what the recurring joke is reoccurring joke is that I in my voice over I say that I clearly want a cool nickname for myself and I'm always auditioning them linking the boat would be a cool nickname. And then some and then something happens and I'm like wait go vote. So. have. You go back and watch this series. There's eight different times you're trying to get have a nickname whether it be a lion or tiger whatever just cavs old and it never does and one of the things they said the beginning of this series was jd should always wish he had a nickname and never get one. That's funny. That's. Funny. I didn't know I didn't I didn't clock it recurring, but I did laugh at. Me Climb make trying to get my own. It's funny because you can't get your own nickname going. No. Yeah. There's try so many times I think sometime Donald says to your someone says no matter how bad you want it? No one's ever going to call you big cat or call you line. A different episode. I laughed I. Think I improved this bill when when amy smart says you have something on your cheek and I go home working in hospitals. Can you make? That Adam or you it made her link you I'd rather say, where did that come from? No that was aggressive script The ship was in the script. She's not randomly licking me well, no I think that like I'll get it and she does something aggressive was there but I think it was probably an actress director choice to go just lick it off. There was probably liquor thia not consider something I certainly wasn't being like to amy smart like what if you were to LE? Fly, I was not implying that you're doing maybe instead of licking your finger and touch. You should lick my face in this moment i. Do you see on the side so it says she licks her thumb. What if you just lick my face? A. Dollar goes. When Donald when Judy says, he was there's something about sleep toots, and then you do the sound of the what's the sound you may? Do Air I you got. I always had I. always wondered why do farts see it sound like they're asking a question it always. That's so funny. I love it I love it, and then nurse Roberts's like I. Make Mister Roberts where airtight boxes. Burn. By the way and she is always contributing in your shit more than anybody's if she hears you talking to someone, she gets into it which really let's talk about Elliott sabotaging relationship. She's finally got some joy. She's finally in the last episode she finally said that she's happy. For the first time in her life with Donald and every time the last episode how Elliot sort of bopping around in the rare like non neurotic mood, and now she's already wanting to sabotage it because she she she's. I don't know what she does right? All this this'll you'll find interesting because we the script was easy to write because we come up with premises ahead of time. Right and we thought You know it'd be cool. Is Donald in Judy Carlin, Turk we set up because a member that kid had eaten ring and gotten paid. We knew we had to bring it back. Donna paid him not to say anything. So we knew that was gonna be Problem Johnny see Dr Cox Jordan. We didn't have a problem for Rick and Elliott yet, but Dr, Cox and Jordan. We're dealing with the kid and are episodes. Everybody has to figure out how to have a solution you know in. The solution of their story. In this one, we said it'd be cool is we don't ever have to do the solution if they're just all having petty shit go on and because jd is so alone he yells at them for not realizing that they got better than him and that makes all their problems go away. So you didn't even have to do the story work at the end. Do I mean. So that's how we came up with the way we came up with the Elliott and nurse flowers things to go. What can she called Shit over just 'cause she's scared that she started like the Guy Yeah Yeah Yeah I. It's clever the way you structured this because it's Jaydee. Who's lonesome and single? Who wants more than anything to find love I? Mean jokingly, the episode opens with him running drills on kissing 'cause it's been so long since it kissed anybody and then teeing him seeing all these relationships in various stages in various. Forms of of of disarray and then sort of bubbles up with the monologue at the end. We're just explode like how did you guys don't realize how lucky you are to be with someone? Well, because it's it's almost jd almost crosses the line now you know what I mean. He almost goes against the moral code. This woman has a husband who's not in the ground yet and still have even know he's probably not gonNa make it through this. She she needs to handle that I and deal with all of that I before she goes into a relationship and she shows weakness and J. D. almost pounces on it. You know what I mean and so I I also think the blow up at the end was you know him realizing Holy Shit? I almost went there And these folks are right his his own thing to his own. You're right. You're right. You're right. I never even saw that it's it's a good point out. You know sometimes like you have your own conscience bubbling up and you don't even know it and he sort of explodes on everyone else part of that monologue at the end when he's just berating everyone is his own frustration that he's got no one any so alone, and now all of a sudden here's this amazing woman who so pretty and so in Newman. So in on the joke in silly and funny, and she's like his perfect dream girl and his conscience and his morals him stop it, and then they're all fighting and he's like you fuckers don't you realize how lucky you are to have someone. I know I think it was really good. I wrote that down that's the it's an amazing blow up not only you're acting at that moment, but also on going on slop you. You do a great job at it and thank you. And and it's very easy for the audience and our characters to have sympathy for you. After you have that moment, you know what I mean but it's amazing. How was how it's presented? Also, it gets to a point where you know the hero of our of our show almost becomes a villain and it's and stops himself from becoming that person and he's GonNa, he's GonNa. It comes up again later on in the next, the audience would really thinking as villainous. Wouldn't they? Absolutely? Yeah, really. But don't you think there'd be a certain percentage of the audience would be like. I, get it I do it I. Do it right? Well, that's the dilemma I would you would. You would you if somebody if somebody had somebody who was on the verge of passing away but has not yet passed away would you let that person have the moment to grieve and move on or would you slide in at their weak moment? I think they're also going out she she she asked him out in their drinking leak though I love this argument is the argument that riders want you guys to have you guys know that like so much. So is transported me back one of the things we didn't show when we wrote it because Donald is correct in that. We wanted people to go to not want Zach to do this and did not want jd to do this, and the way that we got there was were so lucky we have a show of fantasies and the actor was good and it wasn't my pitch but someone's life for us to really be down on jd doing this the coma husband has to speak and it has to be alive in the fantasies and the fact that he actually was. Jimmy. The guy was good and the seemed in you've felt his you know anguish and anger made it. Because I think if that guy had never spoken and was just a lifeless extra bed, you would have been like jd should go for it man it's been like that for a year but the second he's that was specially when he hands you a chart, you know when you walk in the next day. You know so that you know your conscience killing, you know to me, that's what made that show work and it wasn't wasn't my idea but we we argued over exactly what Donald talking about why it is a real testament to say it's a real testament to what you what you is. A writer are saying about Jd's character because he's got this woman who's being the aggressor on him and they've had drinks and she's like where we going and he's like I got to stop this and but then he actually goes like if you really want this. I'll pick you up and run twelve miles with now but but I think it'd be best if you waited and she's like I'll call you and you know in his head he's like. A you know what makes what makes such a scrubs moment though at the end of the blow up when everybody's feeling down and out about themselves in walks nurse, Roberts. something. Remember, she used to lean forward when you do that to but. As we go to break we're going to go to break and we have a caller who's going to be very excited that uncle bill here. We will be right back. Someone. Talks turn. Hazak Yeah I see your drinking GT's Kabukicho. GT's can do. It's my daily. Goto I. Just I feel very good when I drink, it eases my stomach it helps with indigestion. It gives me energy and I'm eating less junk food because it feels like a natural treat have you tried other brands? Yeah. But I'm not into them because GT is one of the few that actually for many their commute to the old fashioned way for over thirty days you can tell they don't use vinegar concentrates or fake it with pasteurization because the stuff is truly alive, you can even see the active cultures in the bottle. It's really cool but can has nothing new. Zach GT's was the first to bottle, but it's been around for centuries as far back as two twenty one BC at actually was discovered in a village where everyone drank it and they were living to be one hundred years old and now it comes in a variety of tasty flavors GT's synergy. Bucci has a strawberry, a mango and even a watermelon that tastes like a jolly rancher and when I'm feeling out of it, I grabbed their gingery because that's my favorite one. Yeah. Mine too mine too. It always brings me back to life. Yeah. Yeah. I hear you check them out at the refrigerator juice section in. Your favorite grocery store. Yeah. Go the refrigerated section because they got to be kept cold as they make it as fresh as possible for you learn more at GT's living foods dot com that's GT's living foods dot com. 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Professional fees may apply available at participating offices ask your eye care professional for complete wear care and safety information prescription only. Throw. And we're. And we're about. Back honey. Oh my God. So sorry I'm so sorry to the north. Nor. Do you all the time? Did you get that on? No, she'll and nor hi, how are you? Do you get that all the time nor. No no one does that and the poor jogging have no ear buds left back to. Alternate nor. I don't think I've. Ever in my life. Nobody's ever seen. Have you ever seen? Have you ever seen star trek to the wrath of? Not Not. Nor thank you. Thank you. Off Don't worry. That was more a con northbound. Believe this. Oh. So Nice to meet you welcome to the program. We have a very special episode because we have a surprise guest Bill Lawrence, the creator of the whole darn things here. So you don't ask US anything. I have so much to ask you before I get into that I just WANNA. I have been watching you guys for so long I have I think watch the SEAS FINISH OVER A Wear, two, thousand, four. Or. That's That's almost that's almost thirty times more than Donald Sinden. So it's it's my happy place. It's my husband's a cheap going to my moon. So like if I'm in a bad mood, like you know I'm on might be did you know usually you need to get women wine mill you just need to put on an episode stabs animal. I can't add that. He has like he knows is accused. I it so much but he also uses it very. Much. It's I wish Donald wishes he could put on scrubs the calm down his wife which. Were listen. She don't even have to be on a pair of my wife just don't like me man I'm. Now. I'm just convinced. Today I'm guessing today hasn't been the best quarantine day. No. The past ever since school went back. Yeah it there's a lot of I'm sure there's a lot of parents out there that can relate dialed who are who can empathize with you. You should know nor Donald pointed out while you're waiting my wife is essentially playing herself on the show so so So. For me, I don't. Think. Pop It on or maybe exacted. Yeah. Popping out. While New Orleans. In your life you just said the Jackpot my San. You would think that and yet it's also very, very scary. You know what I always think. Bill I. think that a new said a version of this but I think it's kind of. I mean, this is maybe stupid to say, but the universe kind of gives you who you need and you. Donald. Both have very tough. KRISTA, I'll give a capital T.. A. Wives but they because you guys have big personalities, they keep you in check and sometimes that's very hard. But some wallflower who's GonNa let you do whatever you want is not going to work for for six months with you guys. I thought you were saying that Donald is should be able to trade wives and have it be cool with them I thought that's pretty. You guys can work out. Because I think it would be cool with Krista I. think it'd be cool with Krista, not for me just for her she's so donald at so upsetting. Cases. When a case, it'd be like what we get pu. Casey like. Gives me like I'll make our bill for listen I got to tell you that. Christa Christa does this thing that's so awkward where we`re We're we're in front of bill we're. And give a standard a good to see you hug and she's like bill standing right there and she was like don't don't don't don't. Let it go. Show. It's so awkward and she's doing it just to fuck with bill and I'm sitting there with a red face. Occurs the crystal Lego. Don't like it. I don't like it. where. Where are you calling from? India. India? Very. Slow this podcast is truly global Donald. Very pay. Mug. On no I actually haven't gone run offering it yet also. Knocked coming in from the US now they are taking flight ever. Adjust I'm the waiting for Shit again? After say, I've just say. This is a slight aggression when McDonald and I started this podcast. The people said to us we. Donald. Don't know podcasts that much this new few. He's listen the none and we said. They said, just you know a podcast listeners really like you know some basic merch, t shirt or a Mug it because you're building a community and and it's sort of a club and people like that stuff and so donald and I said, okay, we'll. We'll make merch. That's cool. You know we in a rock band we will that'd be fun for us. So it's taken a long time to get it up and and and on the podcast we've joked about all these funny merch ideas. We put up a Mug and a mask. And they were gone within like three hours. And Don like Nev-. Now, texting like we need to take shila more seriously because people are not fucking around with buck in Merch, they want their merge donal that is a lot. You guys getting much why? I was just like she knew this was going to happen. I'm like you know she should their present on air something window before. All. Right. Nor Nor. When the meal and how they. Just, like a human being. Nor. North has texted me almost one o'clock at night. Norges texted me that the only merch she wants his a five, six, seven, eight bill arts thing which I think is very. Who have said? Hey. By the way I promise. Promise Neuro Coffee Mug that she doesn't have to order a coffee mugs Zach that we're going to send off giving away on your guest. It anybody would like a coffee mug. All you gotta do. You don't have to pay for them. All you gotTa do what I'm not supposed to know. He's he's right. Listen if you from here on out from here on out. It Bill Lawrence Bill Lawrence, brought up a great incentive for making it onto the show. I guess. Again and I'm going to be expecting. Will I see Joe L. sign non forgive me where Mug but trying Trying to get a Mug to India. I see holding her head like how the fuck among. Indiana and by the way, and by the way I, think it should be rule no matter where you're calling from. If you don't get that Mug within a week, then you get a second Mug and You Want to know what doesn't work. It's not GonNa work with Daniel and Joel. and. Zach. Bill. Or six or seven eight months buzzing. Can, turn it off. and. WE'RE BACK Take control over the show Dan I'm going to need the ability I'm GonNa need the ability to be able to bill. Are we sharing your name? Correct nor yes, you're saying. All right nor. Nor do all sorts that goes guys. She does what do you do there in? India nor she collects mugs from fake doctors. That's been awarded question but like the shock version of that is I have been weddings on. Yours and I just recently as like a four weeks ago, a separate company gave the holding to my part because I am going to be a sustainable fhimah. Gosh it that story too. It's like the documentary. Did you watch the biggest little farm? Yes we. My husband and I have always wanted to deny on. New that whole thing all this this whole Kobe situation just been night while we. You know that's new for you. Yeah. What are you GonNa get I on? What are you gonNA. What crop are you GonNa farm we actually going to do up on my culture which is. An ecosystem of like different kinds of things together. And we're all gonna live on on the will be from the CDs are view. So. Nor? Nor I? Missed I missed if you said that you've seen this documentary, the biggest little farm. Yes we have I love that documentary so much and if you if you're listening, you haven't seen it, please check it out. It's it's about a couple that that does a version of what Noor is saying where they create a a sustainable farm and it's so moving and amazing and I really loved it. Yeah. The and it was just I. Think. My husband and I were in of our together overtake his time he ended up eating and we were just. Bombay's now a city and during the whole thing was so wired and was like we were just an artist is amazing. Why can't we have this whole lives and that's when the seasons are. You don't want any ause and then start you wanted to do it now. Why Not Well. I wish you the best of luck that'd be so awesome bill. Do you think you in Krista? I'd also start a sustainable farm. necessarily. Think that's in the cards for us. I. Think that super would the. Farm still like a luxury four seasons resort is that part of it? Yeah. Bill you can. You can build four seasons resort on the farm. Thirty? That's cool. That is so cool nor go ahead. If you have a question, we're ready to answer. So I have a few you can stop me whenever you raise A. While the way we get ahead. Okay. So I'M GONNA start with bill just because he's the brains. For. North thank you. Thank you so much enjoying my podcast. It's really cool. I enjoy. Up here we go. I totally. I totally imagine that in season three of this podcast Donald I guess. As. Long as you guys tell me, you can come on whatever you want. That's. What we know what's going on what's your nor? So if we were to pick the shore to be. X. Number of years after it has gone off the and we ended up somewhere the boys day and the whole Kosta city been where you see the show going do you think that they'll still the athletes hive or do you think that judy dog would go into private practice again though way do you like the whole show going? There was so much towards the end of season in. The nine that actually seasons steady back. Whatever? was only one nor there was only one main difference with season. Recall and A Major differences hold up, you are both you and bill were. On the magic was gone the magic of Dream Team. I'm answering this question because I wanna hear downs acts answer to. So we were talking a lot because everybody always asks Donald, Zach N me forever GonNa reboot this show and what's really interesting is we've always had opportunities but everybody on this show a works constantly because they're also super talented and be we see each other on our own because we love each other. So you know we haven't always been driven to do a even for me getting to come on this show on Zach Donald's podcast. Yes, it's. There's For me is such a a Co opportunity to guys I. Love. So only recently even started talking about that and think about what it would be and with the writers. Here's a question for you guys. I think that we think Zach. Jd and Turk would always be close and we take that they would always be service and that those two were doctors for life. But the one thing that we always got caught up on is when you watch the finale of season eight and Zack's voice JD's voiceover says. And who's to say that all these things wouldn't come true just this once. And then as writers we fight does that mean that they all came true or does that mean jd is hoping they came true. So that's where we always start. What do you guys think because we always started to go? We rebooted this does that mean that jd in Donald's kids ultimately are going to end up together in married like they do in the show is that means that those things actually happened You know so So. To me that's the trap. Do you think? Zach, do you think that those things that we are showing finale were real or do you think they were your dreams? That's a question I've never been asked and I'm I'm semi embarrassed to admit that it gave me goosebumps on my. Arm. But I don't hold anything back from you. Listeners I've never been asked that question bill and it's a great question and I as as as as you were talking about it, I I I, kind of answered it automatically and said, no that was JD's fantasy of how great life could be. And then I started thinking and then I started thinking like if you brought it back, it might be interesting to show that things had not gone that way at all and in fact, he's They. They've all been separated and they you know. On this podcast a lot we talk about how we're all life and Cova decide happy people and and doing the best that we can. But we always talk about how we miss the Community of this wonderful thing that happened to us for for nearly a decade and it made me think that it might be interesting that the characters aren't together. They don't have that special bond and there is some reason that has to bring them together and enjoy and community come out of bringing them back together. It's always what's up Rego Donald. I I agree with you. Zach I think I think you're right I think I think that's a better story. joanie loves CHACHI didn't go that long you know what I mean that happy ending of of the kids being the next generation of Turk and J D but it's It's the love story that you know Turkey. Jd's love story is a great love story but this is the actual love story where you know their children are. Together. I think that's too happy. What are they fucking hate each other that'll be. Yeah. I go. See that's the problem is that I feel like you know people wanted when jd says. Who's whose parents couldn't come true just as wants that you want to believe that next Christmas they were altogether you know and that they stayed friends and I think people would be really not happy in a in a bad way of we came up on a world that there were no longer at each other's lives. So I think that's the. Start. To work. I sorta let me clarify what? I'm saying JD and Turkey's still tight their kids just don't get along. Well, I was I, was saying that we can be tied but separated you know and I think. You know his bill. You know this better than anything. The audience will often say something two things at once. I remember when we screen tested garden state, they were at the very end. We had a Focus Group of about twenty people I was there and they said. No. You weren't this one and they said. They said how many of you this is random strangers and they said how many of you feel like the ending was a little too pat that you know the two lovers get together in the airport and I would say like seventy five percent of the hands went up and he said okay. How many of you want them to be together every single hand went up. So, as the writer you're trying writer director, you're trying to balance like you obviously want to you want to make the audience. Happy. But you will. You also want to vert what they think. They want a little bit. You know what? I mean bill you can speak up because. I'm as proud of the writing and directing I did on garden state is I am of my podcast. You, WanNa know. Funny Story just just while I'm on the subject. So desisto. Total Tangent. But in that same test screening. Now when you when you test screen a movie in your director, you have to go because you have to see where the audience laughing where they're board everything like that. Now, you would never invite an actor who's in the movie to the test green because there's GonNa be a focus group after and you never know what they're gonNA say they might say they don't like that actor you would never subject in actor to that. But as a writer director, you have to be there. So there's a focus group in the front row in the Movie Theater Twenty people lined up. Six rows back with my baseball hat down I. DON'T WANNA spoil the sampling and have them know that I'm there. And a girl raises her hand in the moderator calls on on her and she goes look Kudos to Zach braff for pulling this off. I just don't find him attractive. Listen and They're I'm sitting there like biting my fists like this is the most all the producers who are in the row with me they all look over at me like, Oh shit. How did that feel like not great. That that right there is a hater that's all that is is a one. Story. She started the shit off with Kudos Zach braff were pulling this off meeting. This shit is fired dude this should it's fire, but he's ugly Dude Bullshit Dude. You know what's funny though I'm thinking out loud in real time. But this is before like social media went crazy and this was sort of a live anonymous troll because she hasn't no I'm in the room and she's anonymously trolling me to the moderator but I have to be there because I'm the director of the fucking movie. How'd you? How'd you guys picks up in the movie? How'd you fix? Everything. knows. He's got more questions stars Hey. I say you're such a fucking Dick. And be we spent one hundred grand lessons my nose. We brought my nose little and I thought it was the green screen. Yeah. We shot some angles where my nose look too big. We wanted to please that one fucking woman. All right fine nor nor I'm. No problem, Okay Zach Minute questions for you blindly. You've done a lot of like farms and. Funny. Fall throughout the show, which is your favorite to shoot and which is the one that you thought came out best on Steve. Could. That's a good question. I'm GONNA cheat a little nor okay. And it I mean can the scooter one in the wizard of Oz Count Bill? You Jess yes. Just just don't say the string line one. and nothing like the garbage stuff. You said it like twenty times on his. Own. Nor because I don't know if you know this but Zach directed that one who was This. Day You. Know. Oh, my God nor you're very funny first of all and I love the fact that you're you're such an avid listener that you're like please don't say the one where you zip line. We're going to be so fucked. We get deeper into this series because we're only on season two and she's one point five and people that are already like please tell that story. I can't wait for that episode. Anyway. Anyway nor do love that episode but I have to say the funniest it's technically not a pratfall I gasp probably the funniest scripts history it's what bill always called. Our most expensive joke in the history of scrubs is when these scooter goes into the endless puddle in the wizard of Oz episode. Where I where I clearly run into Julian the underground manatee who doesn't exchange pleasantries. because. It involved digging to very deep holes. They were very expensive to build because the city demanded they be built to code for safety because you can't just throw people in a whole the collapse. And and as a director of the episode we came up with the idea that it would be a winner, which means we did this elaborate thing where the stuntman is riding the scooter with his with his helmet on into the first puddle. The camera keeps panning. They weren't really connected underground obviously, but it pans to the second plane where I was hiding out under water. And then one of the one of the crew members with a hammer as hard as he could banged on the asphalt. So I could hear it underground which meant to pop up. Because the camera was on me. And it was very elaborate and I still think one of the funniest gags we did on scrubs bill, you might want to talk about it i. So funny though because manatee seemed like the happiest creatures in the ocean. The fact that. The fact that he wouldn't return pleasantries. Funny He was rude really. Yeah. He. The. Bill. Talk about that from the writer's room because there's no way when you guys thought of that, you could have possibly thought it was gonNA come out as funny as it did because I I. Will. When we thought the most fun was Randall Winston who's been on the show and is. As close thing I. have to a life partner besides my wife, he was the line producer in charge of the budget and he came to the first estimates of. Cost Yes yes. Look at you and He. Came to us the first estimates of how much that job cost and he said he said it to me in a way that he obviously felt. So unfortunately, we won't do it and in my head I was like, yeah, feels like we still go for it. And that was. That was a product of youth because now I think I would look at it and go oh man we could have I guess I don't know purchased a small home to give to somebody. Live in for the price of a joke you know but that's that's movie and TV production is Zach I wanNA give you props because nor asked one of my favorite pratfalls of all time I ran. We saw when I was searching for this episode. Do you remember what you did when you were singing song made up going? Feeling so good today. They'll feel good. But nobody saw. Are My favorite is that Zach decided to click his heels and because it's very hard to do and then fall flat on his face and get back up and I've never seen that wasn't a water as well, and it looks so incredibly painful and so. that. As wealth I want you listeners know that I will do anything to make you guys laugh I still go to the chiropractor as often as I can just because of all those years Zach thank you like I. Do it all my fans nor you gotta bring you gotTa bring a question. Donald's way now GOSAR. Sorry. I'm going to be honest with you. My favorite pratfall is the one from the episode that Zach directed I hate to take. Because of what the do does it's a stuntman that does it but after he hits the wall and how he shakes like a fish in air is one of the funniest things I've ever I remember when he did it in laughed I, was there the night that happened now I, remember laughing when it happened and then seeing it on camera and laughing at again added again. So that's that that one did you drug? Addict. I do have to simultaneously giving shout out to the many sutton in the the several. That did it over the years because there were certain things I definitely couldn't do or wasn't allowed to do and. and these guys were hilarious and Donald Donald is right. I was not allowed to Zip Line into the wall and discipline, but you didn't tip line. Is Zach is ZIP LINE I wasn't allowed to nail the Wa you also weren't allowed to drive an actual scooter that had to be weighted down with lead so that you would stay underwater in the first puddle while we went over to the next puddle on you came on thing about that stuntman had to hold his breath for the whole shop for that whole shot. Yeah. Go under with the scooter and stay under no. Well, technically bill we pan off of him and then he but not right away Zach not right away. But I just say. To my own director Horn but how many directors are directing from underwater in a puddle where you can only here with a hammer on? All right. All right Noor. We give her one. What I have one. This is. Because I've always this like I said a washed up so I, wanted to get Don Perspective on this. Do you wish that your character had a longer run as a single on the show in getting into a community judge side off. Yes. Yes yes. Yes. Thank you so much. Yes. I love it Donald is tiptoed around it and nor is just like come buddy beyond. The Mas Buddy. Beautiful woman and the connection that she and I have the chemistry that she and I have is by far the best chemistry I've ever had with any female on on screen by far I can I can go down the list and nobody. has ever been on the level that Judy and I were on. Comma Comma. Comma. I do however wish. That Turk was a single for a little bit. By the. Civil one to at least one and two on the league. Billet nor I believe it was a product of youth and I'll say caveats Judy's so good on the show and so funny any town but I remember and I might be making this up my head but I remember as writers telling Judy early on the Turkish Carla we're GONNA be together for the run of the show and her being like all that's going to be cool to have a steady relationship to be the ones that ground it to explore what that means to meet get married stay together have children to follow that whole arc and Donald who is a young at the time I do remember kind of telling you that. As amy smart walks by like morning Donham. All right now now now you know we have this new segments since you're avid fan of the podcast where and bill is GonNa join us for the first time for a new segment called fix your life nor it's time to fix your life. Art. Okay. All right, how can we fix your life bigger small? We're going to do it right now. You don't need to pay for it therapist you don't need to pay for handyman. We've got it. Okay mic gaps arguably scratches. Especially at night. But on the by his bedtime other getting stopping. Okay I can tell you this one real quick. Get real know how to. Write. This is this is this is a great episode of fixture there. Welcome. No as some modest. Cat Person and is allergic to cats just get rid of the cat. Newer I don't know too much about cats. I gotta be honest. I'm more of a dog person and I've I've raised puppies now. So I, have some experience with puppies I do know I have you tried would with puppies there's a canned air thing. They hate if you do that, can their noise they're like I will never do what? I. Did again if you promise not to make that candidate, so I would try. Another thing is a water gun. You can sometimes Most most pets do not like getting blasted with a water gun to the face. So there's I mean, we made jokes about everything on scrubs, but there's also this one episode that we did in which Zach goes down zip line and I think he directed that one. that. Was? used. Now. I'm going to be really in my head about about mentioning. I mean I love it. My only thing is I just do. Your best Exactly. I truly believe that if you WANNA make it. So the cat stops scratching you. You GotTa get rid of that cat. Back. Donald is joking on behalf of pet lovers. Everywhere you're going to keep that cat and you're going. You're going to tame him and yet he's he's also trying. Try The pet corrector end or a water gun and and I guarantee you that we have just fixture life life. You're welcome. You're welcome. All right now are it's been an extraordinarily long segment because you've been so darned charming we thank you. Coming on the show nor come back and report on your life. The addict what you're doing is so cool an interesting and. I, bet you these guys would. Love to hear it, and if you do it is free mugs for your whole family and. Fifty nine people in my family just understand. Nor nor in a year and a half when the Mug Joel is GonNa put in the mail tomorrow. I hope you enjoy your coffee. Mug is gonNA arrive with like seventeen thousand absentee ballots in. One year from now. Too So. It's a little tricky. To address. Is there was no out these young because I love you so much have been. Thank you. Thank. And GIVE IT UP FOR NORTH Oh. What a great movie. That's the that's the best. That is the best guest at least in the ones I've been on here for that. I've gotten to be a part of and they're also awesome. Amazing by the way she she not only was she just fun but she knew the show so well that she was like. She was saying, please don't reference that episode yet again. Which episode? You guys it was a very special episode for me because I don't know if you know this but it was the first summit got the direct. All right. Hey Bill I know that you don't control the movement of the background that's up to the assistant directors but I just wanted you to know that fifteen thirty one beer. Fuss. Pharmacies. He's Pharmacists. Counter being the pharmacists and I don't recall hearing the beard for say it was the pharmacist no, no no, we did. We did. We cut it but we did some things that he had to cover for the pharmacist. We didn't that just. That made me the saddest was I. Think I went back and watch some guy mopping the air because of you guys really upset and also bill. Beard. Beard for say was like the GO-TO for the issues to be like. It's funny that the guy was a patient beard for say, and now I I I was drawn to the background going Hey Jeff Stevenson is not. The pharmacists guys. He's Dr Face, and as you know by the way did ever did anybody did give you pause. That his name was beard say which he's a smart guy. He would read it as beard tastes and yet you still chose stabs such a big beard, i. gave him a character dude. You're been real life. Your name was beard face I would think that you'd be very careful about not having a beer that's always confused me about that character. I have to say one of the hardest I've laughed in a couple episodes I don't know if I'm just giddy tonight or what but when Ralphie pukes in the elevator on Kelso and here is. Good God. I. WanNa know you WanNa know a joke piece of Trivia. So, and it's the last little show reference. I had other than I thought he. By the way we always give props to Sarah was greatness judy. Johnny see Krista but I really did think Donald Zags come on here for this one because Youtube both slate it comedic Leeann this episode I really thought so. Still since I need your approval no matter how old I get that. Means a lot to me. Bit. I. Mean it sincerely because we're both funny as as all get out the last bit of is so comedy writers always get stuck when they think they're stealing jokes from from themselves or jokes that they've written before. And there was one. Initial show that because a rowdy exists because I saw somebody who had a dead stuff dog when I was younger I had also written about a dead animal joke on Spin City which was Richard. Kinds. Character says because they're going to a more to try and get a a dead cat because for some weird episode and he He Turns out. You know it's weird I went there and we got we put in the car in Sneeze at all turns out I'm not allergic to dead cats and ninety five cents off the Fox as well. Then you should definitely get one and. and then on this show we then decided we thought about for a long time that amy smart. Do you know the joke? I'm talking about Zach that she says, perhaps you remember I came finish the story the job doesn't get paid off because cases there forget it. No two guards in the building. The joke in this one is amy smart says perhaps he smells my dead dog. Also, living in in your back, bring her back I care more about out. Lady. Dan Thunder supply? Ladies and gentlemen I want you to finally meet the case. Guy. Hi Good to see you, my wife's going to be so jealous I say, Hi to you and she didn't. Give her a big hug will will this is what a mom slash. Housekeeper, slash teacher slash everything looks like. crushing. You look stunning. Are you are you? Are you happy that school started or is it more and more and more and more and more work I'm happy it started because the kids are excited to see their friends and their new teachers but. I mean I just came up here to P and this is the first time I've pissed since. I HAVE MY PAJAMAS ON AND Bill saying we should wife swap. Oh, my God. knows. If Chris can come into this house and and sat this straight al-shabaab. Dan, thought. Donald says. Donaldson and make the decision based on having a pool over here. He's like she's going to be. There's a pool over there I've. Never, get rid of me I will. Do Anything. All, right. Well. I don't. This is what? Is. added. By my Lanta. Not. All right I just wanted to say, hi, I'm being summoned I'm sure. Okay. We love you. We love. Finally see you guys. I know I'm excited I think she probably gets listen to the podcast ever so. I listen because you know what Donald likes to. Listen to it and make edits on the loudest volume possible in the main room of the house where we're all sitting. Here. Other listen to it all the time either but I'm going to listen to this section of this one over and over and over. I love you. Only. CARE. I think it's good that you I think it's good that you specify that's Joel and that's Daniel. We're almost guys. She'd she had no idea what their names were. That's why said that because she does not watch she does not listen to the podcast and she is not ever seen an episode of scrubs I played an episode of scrubs wants for her and she got teary eyed at the end. She was like scrubs is like this. If I would've known this that would have been watching all these years. Oh my God dead sauce him. Yeah. I wanted to say that I really related to the idea of the end monologue in this about the idea of. Feeling alone even at times when there's a ton of people around I thought that was a moving bill I think there's a lot of people who can who are listening. You can probably relate to that. Sometimes you're surrounded by people and you still feel super alone and and and lonesome, and you're like, what's wrong with me and and I think you articulated well, especially with the the visual effects were just sort of a callback to the pilot that Adam Bernstein directed as well with people moving all around jd and he's they're feeling so lonesome and. I just thought I. Don't know I just thought struck me this time as as an emotion and a feeling that a lot of people can probably relate to and think that they were the only one feeling. Well, what menu you hit on two things one is always I'm glad gives shut up. Adam. Bernstein because he helped create the look of the show and he intentionally wanted to do a throwback to the pilot where the pilot you're overwhelmed off on your own and the world was zipping around around you in this one year loan we even though you're comfortable in that world and all those people around you and he intentionally pitched that to do it. Of the same thing twice in a way that I thought was really cool but more was struck by the emotion of this. Episode not in terms of being a couple. But in terms of we often talk about in the world right now. But you know empathy is a big thing k. and one of the things comedy writers will often talk about is joking around we call it don't know how good you got it disease. You know which is if you have a job every job. Comedy Writer, which is ultimately the greatest gig in the world I would do it for free. You still sometimes crazy hours tough situations and you'll find yourself with your co workers complaining and saying like Oh this part of this job sucks this parts annoying this part sucks but then you don't ever take a moment to go holy crap especially right now there's a lot of comedy writers that we get to keep working. because. We're writing shows trying to get ready in case the world ever opens up again and you don't always take the time to be empathetic towards the people that don't have it as good as you know, and that's not only true when it comes to having found the person you're met the be with. But right now in the world man, I don't know why this episode touch me so much I feel like if people could be a little more empathetic as to what other folks are going through out there, things would be just a lot clear and a lot more simple you know and. That's why I don't. I rarely get choked up these episodes by got choked up at this one 'cause you know what I was hearing jd say was fucker. So caught up in your own pettiness right now you're not really thinking about how hard it is for other people and you guys do that all the time on this show and empathize and about what's going on here so it really touch meant yeah, and and I just want to see the last thing is that you know. I think this is one of the only times I explained spiking the Lens to to the audience about how unions usually unless it's done on purpose like fairs. Billers Day off the characters talking to you. It's usually something that's edited around because we you know we we say there's this invisible fourth wall that's the camera and we don't. We don't look into the Lens because that's the invisible fourth wall. this I believe is one of the only times where you could me looking directly at the audience in I remember shooting this I was I watched it, and I remember like we did a bunch of takes right didn't look I just kind of looked off sad, and then I think I said to Adam, like, let me just one just for the fuck of it where I just looked clean lens. And I was so happy you chose it bill because I. It, almost felt like at this point in the run of the show at two eighteen of the show it almost I don't know maybe I'm reading too much into it, but my interpretation was like. I'm checking in with you the audience I've been telling you the story for a season in eight plus eighteen episodes, and I'm really fucking lonesome right now and I'm doing the best that I can. I can't do this all on my own quote unquote but I'm I'm I'm looking at you. I don't know and you never did it I. Don't think. It's I thought it was very I. Thought it was very moving and it's me. So it's bizarre but I but I was a bit caught off guard by because it's not a technique. Will you ever did again we ever did again. No it was supposed to be you're all like me because I think the world is filled of. I think it's very hard to be a single person at and around married couples happy couples that are bitching and moaning about whatever trivial thing is making their great couple nece hard. And so it was definitely an effort to say you're the only other time. We did it. You guys might not remember the dumbest joke ever because we talked about spiking the Lens was we did an episode in which you said it doesn't really matter what you think. I'm really interested in what America. And you look directly at the camera and then revealed a Taylor on the other side at Italian guy says it's not America. But yes, you're correct. It's funny. Donlan I always reference on. Beverly Hills COP and. Zarley there's a there's a handful of times. Murphy looks directly into the Lens Lake are you seeing this shit and I think that in Beverly Hills Cop. Trading. Places. Yeah. I'd want to say it's not Beverly Hills. COP trading places when the more say to him it's pork bellies, which is used to make Bacon which you might find in the Bacon Lettuce and Tomato Sandwich. Murphy. Camera, where he does one of these. Why Doesn't he do it in Beverly Hills COP or no? No no no. Beverly Hills cop is very much straight he'd never breaks the fourth wall in Beverly Hills Cop. Places. My favorite thing in the world is in whenever you see a show or movie that has a kid that is six or under you should go back and watch the scene to see how many times they stare directly at the camera. Man Ralphie at one point says the line that Cox is saying he's saying it at the exact same. He's mouthing the lines. REVEAL, him. Yeah Yeah, it's good with kids. In fact, someone told me someone wrote on my social media they wrote Zach ever since you've. You described spiking the lens to me you've ruined Degrassi high for me because. They said the teen extras the teen background performers are doing it non-south a you want to see something really funny. One of the biggest stars in the world right now is will Smith. Watched the first season of the fresh prince of bel-air. He's mouthing everyone's lines really see him doing it. You see him saying everyone's line while they're making the show. So. If you go back and watch that see if you can find Chris Miller playing a girl that will smith hits on and dances with. Can't wait. I'M GONNA look for that right now as soon as as soon as this episode has done I'm going to look and see. When Will Smith hit. I think it is done down we. We've done it. We've we've we've celebrated this really good episode and I'm so glad you were here bill because. It wasn't just your average episode. It was a particularly good one I think. It means a lot to see you too but to see Danell enjoy Hawaii. Come to enjoy spending time with and I make all my stupid jokes because I. Wish this was my podcast because I enjoy it and I was into my giant earphones at night every Tuesday and Thursday when it comes out, that's my going to bed thing I miss you both a love scene case. You for I really appreciate getting to be involved in this occasional guest. We love you I love you. We love you and we love all of you. Thank you so much for for continuing to tune in for those of you who were so interested in the merge. Pitching the funniest fuck ideas for merchant I've ever seen. We will get to it Donald and I are going to dedicate more bandwith to putting up merch. Now that we know I'm going to be honest with you I. Don't think that I can get out. I. Don't think we can get I duck Leo on a shirt that's not. But if you, if you love the five, six, seven, eight bill arts thing I want you to tweet. Only Zach Joel Not Danell Mountain Donald Me just tweet Zach that you want to and he's going to need to hear it a lot for him. You know what I'm Gonna I'm GonNa make and then make a t shirt with the bills faced giant on it and it's just GonNa say five, six, seven, eight across the top. Already got some of those if anybody wants to. Make make them in my bill bills. Bills made some at home. Wade there was something I wanted to say just reminded me of Oh this girl on my twitter she wrote the show she sent me the funniest picture down. It's it's Leo standing on a dark. And in some I think it's from great gatsby and he's at the end of his dog and there's a little row boat and the woman young. Woman I. Wish I was good at Photoshop because I would put donald in the rowboat. Because then you can be. Things that will never make it to assure. One. Well, well, if you're if you're at home, you can make your own Donald shirt. Thank you for tuning in. We really appreciate you and hey bill why don't we go out with another Charlotte Lawrence Song what's what's your favorite song? That's not the one we we played since we're limited. We can celebrate your beautiful daughter. Wanted to cool things. Weren't Atlantic is doing is that they released a children's album my daughter's on called lavender's blue on there. It's a bunch of huge recording artists that you will know doing kids songs. It's a at at home with the kids. And all the proceeds. One hundred percent of the proceeds go to save the children, which is doing amazing work and one hundred different countries. So this'll be a little kids well by, but it's called LAVENDER's blue by Charlotte Lawrence no religion. Also. Toss. Live. This next one's got nothing to do with scrubs but everything to do with your eyes because they deserve dependable comfort and precision one contact lenses deliver whether you're running a five k before dawn or video gaming after dark precision one lenses won't get in your way another bonus these daily disposables so pop them in when you wake up, toss them before you go to bed and start with the fresh pair the next day where. Bam Boom precision one, contact lens freedom baby get started today with free five day trial at see what happens. Dot Com eye exams may be required. Professional fees may apply available at participating offices ask your eye care professional for complete wear care and safety information prescription only with a pandemic and a revolution happening at the same time, we get to choose what kind of society we want to build and who we want to be together. I'm Barrington Day Thurston author activist and comedian and I've got a new podcast. How To citizen with Baritone Day our democratic experiment is at a tipping point but which way we tip is up to us. iheartradio is number one for podcast but don't take our word for it. Find How to citizen with Sheraton Day on the iheartradio, APP or wherever you get your podcast.
MFM Minisode 179
"This is exactly right. Nights out the critically acclaimed blockbuster film that audiences love is now free to prime members on prime video win renown crime novelist Harlan dies on the night of his eighty fifth birthday detective Ben Benoi blunk arrives at the state to investigate and everyone's a suspect starring Daniel Craig's Chris Evans and onto army knives out now streaming exclusively on prime video blockbusters delivered all summer long. Hello. And welcome to my favorite martyr. The mini sewed. We read you your stuff. We read your e mail. They're your stories? Yeah, finally you gotta say. I sure okay hail. The whole world is a shit. Show right now, so I figured you'd enjoy a bit of a pallet cleanser I. Swear got all of the emails I read this week. It feels like that's what everyone is doing. Every single one was either lighthearted or just kind of like search. It's it's very nice. I think that's a good idea for people to just have have an escape. Maybe since we're doing fucking as lately like for next week, everyone consented and lighthearted stories I mean just do a whole episode of light hearted stories sure next week and then. We'll be lighthearted. A please donate money, black lives matter, and also they'd really huge amazing. marches in Brooklyn and Angeles for Black Trans lives because. The fucking government just passed a law that put so many trans lives at risk horrifying. Please read up if you don't know anything about it. It's really frightening medical people. Can T deny care to trans people. If they so choose, it's no longer illegal. It's absolutely it's inhumane and disgusting, and that has to change and it's beautiful because. Thousands and thousands of people showed up to show that it matters to them so if you have any extra money right now, donating to trans lives support systems of all kinds, but especially Black Jones lives the most at a high risk at the really good idea hundred so then back into this email. Hey, all the whole world is shit. Show right now, so I figured you'd enjoy a bit of a pallet cleanser last April. Twenty nineteen, incredible story came out of the little town of Mabini Carolina. Hope, I hope I'm pronouncing. Any. Vein, vein. Mugabe Mugabe. which is about five miles from where I grew up and eleven year old boy was home alone in the middle of the day When he heard a knock at his front door, he went to answer the door, and while he was talking to the young man out front, and accomplice broke in through the back once the second man was inside the house. He grabbed a gun leaning against the kitchen wall parentheses North Carolina a true classic. Everyone's just got a gun leaning against her kitchen wall. Yep, it's just standard fair and the man at the front door pushed his way inside. The robbers forced the young boy into an upstairs closet at. And began to ransacked the House the eleven year old, though was not about to let his chick taken. He creeped out of the closet down the hall into his bedroom. where he grabbed the machete, he had hanging above his bed heights. Why didn't eleven year old have a machete? Not entirely sure, but he said he bought it with his allowance money so good for him I guess. Anyway this tiny eleven year old boy takes his machete and sneaks downstairs to see the burglars bent over his TV console trying to disconnect gaming equipment. This kid said Hell No, and ran up to the robbers, machete, raised and hit one squarely in the back of the head, hopefully immed-. Immediately, the second unhurt intruder bolted while the man who had been struck turn to fight the boy, realizing blood was pouring down his face, and he took off running to the boy, then called nine one. An AP was sent out to all hospitals for a young man with a head wound. Sure enough a few hours later, he serviced at a local satellite hospital and sheriffs were dispatched to guard his door until he was stable enough to be taken into custody. Somehow the man ended up walking out of the hospital in his hospital gown, head, bandaged with a cup of water, and made it to a town, twenty miles away and hit out for a few days. Before, his grandmother turned him in a this was big news in our little communities, so local news stations flocked to the interview, the boy about his heroin. From this point forward I would like all interviews to be with eleven year old boys because he sent a message to the robbers quote, you shouldn't have done what you've done, and you're better off to get a job and breaking into other people's houses. Sexy. Stay, sexy and keeping machete over your bed, and never underestimate an eleven year old, Elise, wow! Some like the kid who was cutting down the the telephone poles level of like yeah, but. For reasons missed positive. Yeah, this this. This kid wasn't just raising hell. He was just like well. Come into my home. Enacted the machete La love it okay. This just starts high so the other day. I stumbled upon one of your old episodes. Georgia's said something along the lines of being terrified of being shot in traffic, and well, that reminded me of a tragedy that happened in my town a year back I live in a smaller city. A few hours outside of demoing Iowa called Cedar, falls for the most part. We don't see a whole lot of crazy stuff out there just. Just US suburban DADS, but their lawnmowers little old ladies, tending to their gardens, but on April Twenty, eight, th two, thousand nineteen, a woman picked up her boyfriend and a friend after work around two thirty a M, they were driving home along a wooded area on the highway, when a bullets struck through her window, passing through her neck and lodging in her boyfriend's mouth in the passenger seat. Oh my God. She was able to pull over and then it says can. Can you fucking imagine, but was announced dead at the seen. Her boyfriend ended up making it, but the police found literally nothing. No one came forward. No suspects, no idea what happened at the an article where the police suspected, it could have been a hunting accident, but who the fuck is hunting at two thirty in the morning It's unfortunately still unsolved today. You Bet your ass I didn't drive that highway for a few months afterward, so yeah, thanks for being. Being Really Cool, sorry advanced Georgia, for solidifying any fears of being shot while driving. Stay sexy and don't fucking drive anywhere Brianna well. Yeah, all right. Maybe it's weird seems like they should do something about gun laws in this country, but anyway that's crazy Karen we got. We got a lot of other. We got a lot of steps to take care of you. Okay now. The subject line of this one is my grandpa almost killed someone the fishing pond pervert. Good evening. This is my hometown, but this is not my story. This is the story of the time my mom saw her dad almost kill a pervert. My parents grew up on south side of Chicago where nature's hard to come by besides a few of the NASTIEST and most likely radioactive fishing ponds. You've ever seen or smell. Wanting to teach young children some outdoor skills, my grandpa would take my mom and her brothers and sister to go fishing in the ponds when they were maybe five through eight years old, they went almost every weekend, but but soon those innocent fishing trips turned dark when a mysterious creep reportedly find my eight year, old mom, and tried to lure her into his car. With promises of Ice Cream God he at after a horrific incident, where he revealed himself to my baby, Angel Mother, she used. Used her murder no instinct and told my grandpa about the pervert, my grandpa angry and horrified found the man by his car, grabbed him by the neck, held him there for about two minutes and shouted. If you ever come around here again I will fucking kill you now it may not seem that crazy of a punishment to whoever would do a gross thing to a child, but from I extremely old fashioned devout, Irish Catholic family. You know this shit was real when grownups drop the notorious. Am I right Karen? Yes, you're right anyway. The fishing pond pervert was sufficiently scared to death and was never seen there again. My GRANDPA is a common mild-mannered man, but if you fuck with his kids, he will fucking kill you on. Thank you for helping me through the absolute darkest and most lonely time of my life I was suffering severe workplace sexual harassment when I found the podcast two years ago. Your bad ass riot, girl, attitudes and humor have inspired me to fuck politeness and get justice for my harassment. Go to therapy and to kick off my comedy career I hope we can cross pass someday a Oh. My God, that's incredible. Yeah Wow, yeah! Well well done God asks. This runs in your family. It sounds like yeah, okay. This is grandma's near Miss with a double murderer. Hi To my honorary big sisters. The world is ending. Donate to black lives matter. That's how it starts, then says my grandmother grew up in Springfield. Vermont Springfield was the quintessential Vermont town where everyone everyone and cows outnumbered humans. My Grandmother told me that as a as children. She and her sisters often slept on their front porch at night to avoid the summer heat. This was really a testament to the trust in the neighborhood. Because there was no lock in the screen door of the porch, it was one such summer day in nineteen fifty, two that two convicted murderers broke out of Windsor prison. Fifteen miles north of Springfield. Their names were Donald Dewey. And, Francis Blair, they rammed a prison laundry truck into the gate, surrounding the correctional facility escaped on foot to MAG was in prison for a previous murder and Blair was his accomplice. They fled through the woods of Vermont to Springfield and emerged from the forest. Right next to my grandmother's home. This human entered the home of my grandmother's neighbors and family friends the weather ups. Dimaggio and Blair beat Elizabeth. DEMAG and my God demand and Blair beat Elizabeth weather up and her husband with a lead pipe while attempting to rob them, Elizabeth succumbed her injuries, and tragically passed away to Megan Blair were apprehended and sentenced to the electric chair in February of Nineteen fifty three. The two men became the last to ever be put to death in the state of Vermont. It shows me to think of what those men could have done to my grandmother and her family, and it serves as a reminder that life is fleeting, also a good reminder to put a fucking lock on your porch, Maria thanks for everything y'all Queens Grace. Wow just homebuilding on little girls sleeping on the. Porch. Yeah, that's crazy. That's that's so creepy. hellofresh America's number. 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Love it this week for the first time in my cooking life made risotto, which do make it for real. It's really hard and like not if you make it for real. Complicated and time consuming, but this was so easy, and then I seared these scallops with it, and Vince isn't normally like scallops. Browse like wait till I do it and fucking loved it. S Awesome. That's like and that's like to your dinner like you made it, but it's just like you had some real good help from exactly I like I was the shaft. It was a lot easier than it would have been if I just made the whole thing myself yet. Slow go to hellofresh dot com slash murder sixty and use the code murder sixty at sixty dollars off your first three weeks including free shipping on your first box. That's hellofresh dot com slash movies. And Code Murder Sixty to get sixty dollars off your first three weeks including free shipping on your first box, additional restrictions apply. Please visit hellofresh dot com for more details go by. Georgia can ask you a personal question always. Are you doing more searching than streaming these days? Man, I am and ask. For sure we'll H. Max is a new streaming platform where all of HBO meets the Greatest Collection of movies and shows Karen Oh. It's what everybody wants and needs. It's olive. Hbo Series like Westworld Insecure The Sopranos, but also blockbuster movies like crazy. Rich Asians or a star is born together with timeless classics. The wizard of Oz Casablanca and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. This were all honored the one thousand nine hundred forty nine Oscars. The most beloved. Friends, Big Bang theory, the fresh prince of Bel Air. Let me name some awesome animation that they have Rick and Morty Samurai Jack Boondocks. Let me name some superheroes and Super Villains from the DC universe like the Justice League wonder, woman, and the suicide squad. Them Oh. Don't forget the family favorites like Sesame Street looney tunes, and Scooby Doo and new Max originals for everyone like love, life, legendary, and not too late with Elma. All your favorites in one place for just fourteen ninety nine per month, the such a good idea. I mean like just that list alone. That could keep you going for easily for seven days. Totally, but they also have like true detective which Vinson. I've binged watching the very beginning of our quarantine. Then everyone's watching the Sopranos, too. There's just so much there. It's really cool eight HBO series. You can watch them forever. Seriously Insecure fucking love that show Oh. Such a good show starts dreaming today. Download the APP REVISIT HBO Max Dot Com to start your free trial. Free trial is for new customers. Only restrictions apply. They always do go by. The subject line of Hello to Georgia George only oh finally. Hello, I just listened to episode twenty, two entitled that Tau Waterworks and mentioned to my partner that there was a story about a seventeen year old, surviving a plane crash in the Peruvian jungle. Normally we have a deal I don't tell him my murder stories and he doesn't tell me his spooky ESPN shit. It works fine for us. That sounds like fun the array. That's a good agreement, but I broke. Broke the rules because one? It's not a murder. It's just a horrible plane crash and two I figured that even though he was only eighteen months old at the time of the crash. He's from Lima and he might have heard the story ladies. He tells me he does know that story. In fact, the priests slash principle of his all boys. Jesuit High School Yikes was the brother of the pilot. But buckle up. Has That's not all the principal was also a friend of my partner's family, and told my partner that after the search was called off, the pilot's family begged the Peruvian Air Force to continue searching and brought in a clairvoyant to convince them the clairvoyance she knew where the plane was gave them specific coordinates, and that there were survivors. All the air force refused saying that they had already searched that area and the plane wasn't there after Jillian was found parentheses. What a bad ass! The Air Force went back in and found the remains of the cockpit exactly where the clairvoyance said it would be. They also found the pilot's body. He was still warm. SO THEY THE AD? There's theories that some people in that crash died after the crash. They didn't die. Immediately. Have full-body body. Now, also. Isn't it crazy that it's like you don't tell me Your mortar stores? Don't Tell You my esp. This has all totally everything love it. This has everything. My partner said that the pilots family was understandably haunted by the fact that if the search hadn't been called off, or if the air force hadn't dismissed the clairvoyant, they might have gotten to the pilot in time. Apparently, it's well known in Peru. The Julian story was kind of spun into quote Christmas miracle to draw attention from the fact that there would have been more survivors if the Peruvian Air Force had called off the search so early. Stay sexy and follow the Water Lydia and Miguel in Saskatoon Saskatchewan. Canada amazing. Amazing Ryan Wow. Oh, I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for that conversation. How exciting that must've been if for real an, but also it's like. Yeah. I don't think it's that common that clairvoyance are brought in, and then t are proven to be exactly right with what they said. Holy amazing totally want more clairvoyant stories. I want more like like weird coincidence. That couldn't have been a coincidence like well. You know what the one couple who you can. Who met and they looked at their photos from twenty years before, and they were like taking the same photo in different. Places it's I'm not explaining it right. Is that real? Lose One? Yeah, there's another one that you're like this would be the best version. And another one of these couple of. These photos and she's like this is my soccer team. When I was little and he was like that's my soccer team. When I was little and it's there in the photo, the soccer team together the. Owner yeah, that's. That's amazing that yeah, let's hear those Arrow countenances. We don't think so okay this one. I help. Let's see it's called I helped someone who wasn't in a safe place Ola. Sexy Ladies Thank you. So I'm just going to jump right in I worked for a security. Company from October Twenty nineteen till February. Twenty twenty, I answered phone calls to set up new clients or answered questions about the company. It was around eight o'clock, when I got a call from a guy and the first thing he said after I answered was yeah, I'd like to order a pizza and he sounded uneasy. So all I do is watch true crime? I sent an I. Am just three of my managers telling them? I thought I was getting a call for help. Never been trained in the stuff so I just asked him how many people he answered three Pepperoni and by that. That time one of my managers had rush over to me, was on the phone with nine one one I was typing what he told me, so. My manager could tell the operator, and luckily I could get a name and address I, told him to police were on their way, he said, thank you and hung up I just sat with my manager, waiting to make sure that we knew the police got there and not more than an hour later, the police showed up at the office to talk to me and they let me know. It was a twelve year old kid who is spending time with his mom and she took him to a drug dealers house. Seen weapons on the table and didn't feel safe. Luckily, the kid was okay, and the mom was charged with child. Neglect and a ton of drug charges I two days later because I decided, I wanted to work for CPS. Child Protective Services, unfortunately I needed some schooling for it so once the covid nineteen is over I can start school and be able to help kids. Kids on purpose. Thanks for being kick ass, woman, and keeping me entertained at my new desk job. Stay sexy and always remember the Pizza Code. Morgan Wow. Wow, yeah, you guys were murder. Order a pizza if you made secret help. Yeah Oh my God and twelve years old. That's crazy. Feel like all mine were real bummer today. At actually that story ends in a real. because. She's actually or they're actually. Going to help more kids that might be imperilled. That's. Very brave. Yep thanks for doing that I. Send Us your story is positive or negative at my favorite murder at g, mail or ESP. Don't forget those one. Oh! Send Them Esp. Try to send messages through with your mind for sure but positive negative weird coincidence, ESP based doesn't have to be a provable. No absolutely not thanks for listening to you guys and say sexy and don't get murdered. And Elvis you WANNA cookie.
AvTalk Episode 76: The Coronavirus Response
"On this episode of have talk we discuss what authorities in airlines are doing to help. Stop the spread of Corona virus. Kobe Bryant and his daughter are among those killed in a helicopter crashed. California and Boeing triple seven x takes flight for the first time. Hello and welcome to episode. Seventy six of abqtalk I- MPN Pech Nakir as always with Jason Rabinowitz and we're back. We are back and I am literally just back. Flew in from Copenhagen just now wow wow they let you out of the House The for for twenty six hours long enough to fly from Chicago to Copenhagen turn around and come. I'm back in such a thing who knows who reason. There's gotta be reason but I don't know what it was no who I will dig and try and find the reason. Scandinavian Airlines took delivery of their first eight three fifty a few months ago and they've been training and getting ready for the big day which was today and they operated their first revenue flight with the aircraft from from Copenhagen to Chicago in. We had a wonderful flight. The smoothest flight I've ever been on not even a little bump but Got Take a nice view of Iceland a little bit of Greenland Canada and then dropped into Chicago where it was cloudy and cold but inbetween. Everything was wonderful. Wonderful still still processing all of the things that we we tried to share tried to share more of the flight while we were in the air but the Wifi had some some growing wing paints narrow. That doesn't work awful concept. I know but this was the first time that the system had been tested in the wild on such a flight and with with as many people as as had been on the flight so over one hundred people were connected and so worked for for some didn't work for others the others being unfortunately me so we didn't get to share as much during the flight as we wanted to. But we'll we'll have more coming up in by the time the podcast comes out all that'll be up on the blog and on various social media's so look for that there but it was a good flight and we had a nice chat with the crew afterwards so that was a a nice thing to kind of end the flight with talking with their chief pilot and the assistant into chief pilot for their their new eight hundred fifty fleet So so that was. That was a good time. Yeah I think we start getting the three fifty's here at newer in March unbelie Yang one of the flights the evening flight. I think you've two flights from Copenhagen Day I think and there's the afternoon flight in the evening big flood. I think it's the three fifty so that one of the moving over to Stockholm at this point it doesn't sound like they are anytime soon because because most of the three forty flying is done out of Copenhagen and the three fifty is kind of replacing first and foremost now it's making sense and all the comparisons that SAS does S- against the three forty and it's pretty incredible to see with the economics of the two fifty compared to the three forty are interested to see what the economics of garbage can compared to. A three forty are so this is true. Garbage cans are exceedingly fuel-efficient has given indeed. That was something something interesting that That we learned in that the eight hundred fifty is both more fuel-efficient and faster so we we flew faster to get to Chicago in arrived. We arrived at an entire hour early and the flight time itself was thirty. Four minutes faster because of the increased cruise speed so. I wasn't in a hurry but I guess if not taking more time than you need is something that they want to do. So you've got to O'hare an hour early. Where's their gate available? Because it was the international terminal there was audible available but I did hear one of the station. Managers at O'hare telling the pilot that did he needed to slow down next time they weren't quite ready to receive the aircraft because of the you know the special stuff that they were doing for the inaugural going back out of Chicago. But yeah in the future I guess. Maybe they'll the adjust the schedule schedule a little bit now. That the three fifty's on there so it's been another very busy two weeks. I feel like we say that every time or nearly every time. Almost likely space out these podcasts intentionally to let news bill between I I guess I mean it's really just I. I can only stand to talk to you once every two weeks. It has nothing to do with the news occur. But there's a lot going on and so let's start. I guess with kind of the international aviation story which is the reaction of Airports Sports Airlines in Ebay. Shin Community Writ Large to the spreading new and not. Well understood yet. I guess coronavirus. There's there's a lot going on and I guess you should kind of start with what's happening in Wuhan in an branch out from there. Does that sound like a plan Jason. Yup so the airport in Wuhan has been not closed because there are still a few flights lights operating but the schedule has been dramatically reduced and expanding outward from there certain certain airlines are cutting capacity united announced today that they're spend suspending twenty four flights to China and airlines in Hong Congress cutting their capacity by about fifty percent. So there's a lot happening there in. That's just two examples and I think there a few more. Yeah just that as right now. Actually it's being reported by my friends at Miller that be a is actually helping helping fights to both Beijing and Shanghai as see. I think it's the announcement is expected tomorrow from right now so two days ago. If if you're listening to this unreleased but those fights will be ceasing immediately. Actually yeah so I mean. This is becoming joining Certainly dynamic situation but also becoming much larger than kind of One City restricting travel in one city. Certainly so hopefully this. The actions being taken at this point will help contain contain any further spread. I say that having only a little bit of hope at this point that that will actually happen. Yeah Yeah I think we're kind of beyond that point but slowing it down can't possibly hurt but I think the WHO already led this spread too far corners of the globe globes. So we're way past prevention more towards containment at this point. Yeah so I mean certainly. These are bad ideas for airlines minds to be taking steps to to kind of restrict certain flights to certain areas given the the travel headaches involved airlines may also be saying will demand is is lower so it's both a public health but also I mean frankly business decision I mean if so many people are yeah. I was just going to say that. They're they're not doing this out of the kindness of their hearts the prevent the spread of disease. They're doing it because there ain't no money to be made when there's nobody working go you're allowed to fly out in certain cases or the government tells. You can't do this but so far. It's primarily been especially in the case of united. The planes are going empty so so they're going to stop sending makes good sense to me young hopefully in two weeks when we recorded quarter next episode. We'll have a much much better handle on things and a much more uplifting picture to paint regarding during the carnival but but right now it's we don't know the longer this goes on. Obviously the bigger the effect it has automation and certainly if it spreads beyond China if kind of the main concern of things spreads beyond China. Then I think we're in the very new scary scenario over the weekend. We were following a crash of a helicopter in the Los Angeles area area and it turned out that Kobe Bryant and his daughter along with seven other people were on board sadly sadly no one survived the crash into a hillside in calabasas California kind of a little northwest of Los Angeles near kind of on the with thousand oaks area and a lot has been discussed. conjectured Sir Mayes D- speculated if you're listening to the PODCAST. You know that we try and not do that for various reasons but but one is that you know we just don't know the NTSB is investigating the FBI is insisting assisting the investigation. Purely Lee as a We needed physical help. The NTSB said not as any type of thought that there's criminal wrongdoing or anything like that just they. They need the folks to help with evidence collection things like that. So they're looking into all sorts of factors the mechanical factors human factors. Here's weather all of the things that they always look into and obviously they will release a port a report when they concluded their investigation and from there there we will certainly read their reports and come back but a tragic accident and certainly one that that has kind of weighed heavy on a lot of people Out side the heavy issued community for for obvious reasons for anyone who's listening to the podcast who doesn't know who Kobe Bryant is he. He was one of the greatest basketball players of all time. I think I feel comfortable saying that. Even though I'm not a huge basketball fan so I think uncomfortable footing here but that was a loss certainly felt kind of worldwide. He had played a number of places growing up and become a fixture post retirement outside of basketball. So a lot of tribune things pouring in all over the world that that was not something that these types of things are never good but you know kind of hitting especially hard Jason Hudson good news. We have any we we do. We do the Boeing triple. Seven X has flown for the first time. I know it has flown it. It was beautiful. It was wonderful it flapped its tiny folding wingtips on a tiny like eleven feet long it flat wing tips in it flew away. They came back and doing it. He did come. Eight admitted big circle so to speak but after delays and more delays days and one final delay. Because of the weather they flew flew. Yeah it was supposed to have flown on. What was it not Saturday Sunday Friday Friday? You're supposed to on Friday at about twelve or one o'clock but the weather in Seattle horribly bad even even for Seattle but it was Kinda questionable that Boeing even attempted. So what happens is on the first fight. In aircraft departing paine appealed. We used to take off to the north so it pretty much immediately ends out over Over water not over populated areas. But that would have created aided in the weather on this particular day a quite hefty tailwind well beyond the aircraft capability they needed a maximum tailwind component. That I believe of ten knots and the wind was anywhere from twenty sustained gusting over thirty with no oh point in the forecast suggesting they were going to meet that minimum. I guess the maximum sustained wind questionable that they tried so basically across taxi down to the end of the runway part there for four hours and it's best simulation action of what happens during rent congestion at JFK turned around and went back to the gate so so we know it could pass that test. Thankfully the second day on Saturday went out to the runway and pretty much to write off with Unfortunately really nobody From Boeing out there like there was on Friday. They had what thousands of toys a thousand people. Yeah they're out there who really needed that. Morale Beause did not get it and on Saturday kind of went up almost without much fanfare seemingly on their webcast only started a few minutes ahead of time but it went up. It did its thing. And then it ended up landing at Boeing field in downtown Seattle. Oh yeah it was a four hour flight. They did the traditional Mount Rainier Photo Pass. That was nice looking forward to seeing those photos and then I think it was back on. The air today usually could be quite a while but so I can fight. It was one of the things I ah the alert in the five seconds that if I was working on the flight and when I went to check it the wife wasn't working towards actually checking into very the big rain it sounds amazing taking off I was happy to audio work quite well on that and I'm almost surprised how quickly the wingtips wingtips hold up and down that was I thought it would take a longer time for those the function. Yeah I mean they really do kind kind of up and move up and down very quickly. When it landed I act- I believe they roll? Roller folded up the wingtips before they were or even done on the the lending role. Yeah they were still well into their Well into the role the wingtips came up. Yeah I mean which makes sense because I guess you know you have to to get him up before you taxi get onto the taxiway but yeah really quick. Nick in the plane does sound really good. Yeah Ge Engines. Just their premiums sounding the nine ax which is the world's largest jet engine but not the world's most powerful because as it turns out when you make things more efficient you if you don't have to make them more powerful pine don't go faster so that's an interesting thing that I found just about how. How own works? You don't need dad more power it's just. It's just slightly longer in person someday soon because it looks like a Munster Mr so flight tests for at least a year and then deliveries to airlines beginning in twenty twenty one emerets as I simply. Emirates is the launch customer. There are eight airlines that have placed orders Emirates Eddie had British Airways is among them. Lufthansa though I don't know if it's Tonga specifically or if it's Luton group at least Tonga right and and a few more that I'm missing off the top of my head but we can start looking for those next year hopefully shall oh we take a quick break and come back and discuss some of the money. That's moving around in aviation this week. I have so no. But you're going to give some up. I'll explain after a quick break. Welcome back Jason. has his wallet out. And he is ready to put down at least three billion dollars to become the new owner of Air India. Congratulations Jason Thank you. Unfortunately that three a billion only pays off areas debt. So I I don't even get much three billion billion dollar Now I earned you own Air India if you would like to own apart of monstrous money losing operation. Can we interest you in another chunk of Air India three billion and two dollars a house the bidding. If it's a bad idea. Don't do it the whole idea here. Is that Air India. The government is trying to divest itself of the airline. I don't see anyone stepping forward to say sure I'll do that. But they're gonNA GONNA try. Good luck bless them for trying but like you said who who's going to buy Air India. It's why would anyone I don't no I don't know but they're gonNA try so. Yeah okay good for them I if they find a bitter Maybe Eddie had the way. It's not gonNA work. We try already gone. We've gone down that road a few times. We're not we're not going down and again yet. No I've been thinking about this for the past couple of days this just to come up with a crazy idea just might work and I can't. I can't figure out who would want to buy it. I can't figure out who might want to own a piece with another airliner There's there's no good reason to purchase purchase area than I can come up with if you don't want Air India interest you in a chunk of South African Airways. Now we're talking. Go go on well. South African Airways has been on the brink of insolvency non-existence since for quite some time. But somebody I guess. The government gave them a hundred thirty seven million dollars to continue operating which in airline finances like. What a week? I I mean it doesn't sound. It doesn't sound like a lot. I guess is what I'm saying. No but they're pulling out all the stops there. Sure I believe they shuttled whenever there. Eight forty six hundreds off to San Berea yeah. I don't know why it goes there but one of them I'm is they have facilities for why not. But they're withdrawing a part of their food they're retiring or parking ninety three forties but they're only taking four three fifty to replace them. It's very confusing. But they they are of the opinion that somebody out there will want to buy by their very old eight three forty. Three hundred and six hundred again is like. Why would anybody do that? Nobody wants a three forties. It's easy Z.. Is Plus Ultra looking for more airplanes. ooh Now probably not. They just took their second day. Three forty six hundred. What's another something? I mean what what's another few hundred forties. How could they end up transferring them or South Africa Iran? Iran's always looking for a three forty so I mean if they could figure that stranger things have happened they figure that transaction out. That's probably the only country during the world that would want to buy old eight hundred forty S. They just picked up a couple old a three nineteen I think from Russia Russia so three forties from South Africa. Why not perfect? They're not getting anything new. Any more. That ladder a hot minute. They'll take these so. Let's talk about an airline that you might actually want to own. This business. makes good sense you know. Generally speaking the Polish Aviation Creation Group which is the parent company of Lot Polish Airlines condor or is buying condor. I mean these things are always who who knows how long they'll actually take. But the idea is that they're buying the whole part and parcel of condor and it will remain condor. The folks who run condor the name all that could fun stuff at least for the time being and the push group will use who's condor as a way to get into leisure flying in that type of thing as a new line of business so that one seems to make good sense to me and remembered condor was a unit of Thomas Group. Thomas Cook Group which no rank yes I should show mature. I had a a large bridge loan from the German government which PGA PG L. will apparently pay off and then Oh condor outright outright including their rather elderly seven six seven which. I think they're They're going to get rid of them. Yes so I think in twenty twenty four. They're going to do something I don't know if they have any orders on on the books right now. 'cause lot itself desperately needs airplanes so we'll see what happens condor or maybe they could take some South African forties No now that's a bad idea. I did see in Chicago. The Air Belgium. He three forty operating for lot cited to fly that lurch So that was a nice kind kind of surprised to see at the gate. I had regarding the all white or it was the pink one. It was one with the Sushi paint. I had forgotten that they were operating the crackup flight for lot on Chicago so that was a nice surprise. It's interesting move because lot itself has been struggling A lot recently with fleet availability the at seven eight seven. The Rolls Royce issues. It's maxes of obviously been grounded. So it's really struggled to make ends meet. So I doubt they will end up absorbing. Any condor aircraft operate four lot. But anything's possible. Yeah I mean I feel bad for lot because they went from this. They went from this kind of position of being able to lease out their aircraft as they kind of grew their network in had more more aircraft than they could use and then they're seven eight seven broke extensively in the Mexico grounded and they went from leasing leasing out to leasing in which is a rather unfortunate position to be in in in yet. But yeah like you said I don't I don't know what they'll do with With with The capacity that the CONGRERSS. But it'll be interesting to see if they do anything with Airbus today. Said they agreed in principle to a settlement in the bribery and fraud investigations. That were brought by the French. UK and US governments and our Jason. Explain everything about that. Wait what the that's really. All there is to it at this point. We don't know much more because obviously the agreement is in principle so they haven't written anything down to to you know we're able to share. This is something. Airbus has been grappling with for what seems like ever their entire executive organization that that was love is pretty much gone at this point as well but these investigations taken long time to finally close out. Yeah so I I would assume that there will be some sort of penalty to pay what that ends up being. A and what the agreed how the agreement ends up being structured as is still still something we don't know but it looks like Airbus's is ready to to close this particular chapter on the history onto the next indeed lead A very interesting runway overrun this week in Iran a Caspian Airlines. MD indie eighty three overran the runway and continued across a highway in mushroom and then everyone got out of their craft carried all of their baggage and deactivated decides to end given our Dan. I doubt I I don't know but everyone on board survived with the not serious injuries. What's interesting is that they landed with the win so they landed with a tailwind in which as we learned earlier today is not good? It's not such a great idea. So that's something I think any investigation will be will be looking into but thankfully everyone made it out ok including everyone's luggage law to pictures of people taking their luggage in and things like that. So leave your people leave your luggage. Just just leave the luggage in the plane. Get Out of the plane. If you're told to get out of the point anyway. Okay now. It's time for your favorite segment and my What are we calling this? Wake up this week lead. I think we we already use the biweekly. Boeing bungle is a new one. I think that's a new one. That sounds good. That was yeah that was suggested by listener. And we think it's a pretty good one so we're GONNA go with that for right now although this week less of a bungalow in more of a bit of bungling going on here there's some there's some it's different bungling yeah explain it to me place. Okay okay well. Boeing is still trying to recover from the whole seven three seven Max grounding seemingly lasting forever thing and they basically came out of nowhere said the backs will be on in their quote ungrounded which is a new term that we the little unspecific does that. Mean recertified commercially. Fine again. I Dunno ungrounded mid twenty twenty which is quite a bit farther out than any prior messaging quarter one second quarter twenty twenty and apparently are they forgot to tell anyone before they announced that so even the CEO of South West. With currently the largest Max in the world didn't know this coming. So yeah if you're Boeing probably keep your airline customers No loop here. Not a great look look that the airlines are caught off guard about their own fleets. But that's we don't know what mid twenty twenty means it could mean June. It could mean September in Boeing language. We we we don't really know it's giving them a lot of leeway but pretty much at this point summer number twenty twenty. You're not gonNA see the Max operate for pretty much any airline unless they toss a hail Mary something is caught in the end zone the FAA Fayez says. Maybe sooner than that but at this point even if the FAA does recertify it it's going to be monstrous effort to get these aircrafts back into the sky. We've talked about that. In the past and Boeing is going to end up restarting production before the recertification of the aircraft's I think what does it was going to. Last ninety days total I think it was united technologies. Was Targeting a ninety day. Freeze and Boeing had just said that it would start. We start production months before the aircraft actually return to service which could mean six. It could mean to. I mean every new statement from Boeing knowing is giving themselves a lot of a lot of play in the numbers and I think that part of this is. They had been so optimistic in their timeline. Right this is a good shape before yeah and so I mean you know the one thing to notice that they'd tell anybody they were going to start doing this by anybody. I mean you know their customers but now they're they're being more conservative and cautious about their their time estimates in a bit more vague with return to service service is on grounding. What what does that all mean? And it's been interpreted in a few different ways whereas before they were providing getting extremely optimistic. Few weeks it's almost done no problem we're working on it and back and back and back and back in coming back so I think this gives them a lot more breathing room and it also allows them to come back and say you know what thing things went faster than we thought they would we. We got it fixed here you go. That would be nice. It would be nice but but like you said we're we're still going to be without the plane through the summer. Right even if Boeing work today to say everything's great it's it's recertified we're go airlines already. Removed it through most case. June of twenty three so Boeing can say today airplanes backwards go. The airlines would be forced to say not for six months at eight is unfortunately they've already removed it from the schedule before bowing game them this mid twenty twenty timeline which again quite vague. But it's it's good that they're being vague like this. They're no longer driving the recertification by an arbitrary date eight. They worked meat so they can prove to their stockholders that they are that they've still got it and they'll still get their dividends at the end of the quarter. This is a much more realistic. Maybe it will be April may be it will be September. We don't Know Yeah I. I think that's definitely a welcome change there. But the other thing thing to remember is now with the simulator training. That's going to be required. Yeah that's a whole new wrinkle. We have no idea how long that's what's going to take. I mean there. There are tens of thousands of pilots. They're going to need simulator training then. Some people are brushing off as not a big deal. You're like oh you take the forty five simulators that are running. You operate the twenty four seven you put people in there for two hours time bing. Bang Bong get them done real quick but scheduling does operating you know and Jesus today they can't just Swai off to wherever one of these forty five simulators are if United Airlines only has one simulator. How long's it can take just to train their own pilots? I mean is united. GonNa fly a bunch of their pilots to Fiji AG to train in the simulator volunteers tribute to volunteer to address. You're going to go investigate that. Firsthand I appreciate that I appreciate your your selfless who sacked very great and remember Fiji Airways has to get its own pilots in there too right right I mean you know. Yeah exactly I mean even if airlines wanted to rent out this is probably so gonNA WANNA get their pilots trained up I. I don't see this being not a big deal right and it's not like they can start preparing pilots in simulators today because the software I guess is still not done so you can't even start the process today to ramp up up to the point. Where when the plane is certified the pilots ready to go? Because that's not how this is GonNa work isn't going to be the case that Pilots are only beginning the training. Simulators once the aircraft's recertified. We don't really know how that's GonNa work. Do we know no. We don't that's a good question. Yeah when can pilots begin the simulator training. He's sort of software. Package is finalized in ready to go but at that still hasn't happened right but but doesn't that presuppose that if the software package has been finalized the aircraft has been recertified. Uh Donald Dewey. We have no idea no we we we know nothing this ACA something. This will give us something to research and probably come up with an inconclusive. -clusive answer for next week. So and then we'll we'll do the whole thing over again but moving in the right direction it finally seems like hey the triple. Seven s flew so so Boeing something good yet. I don't think that we should take anything away from that. That the triple X.. A first flight to first flight right. That's it would be deal in the webcast that they had. Oh God the Web and Friday. I'm going to stay away from the technical criticism of the webcast but the content of the webcast not the actual content but the spirit of the content. I will say was I thought good fruit food folks who who had worked on the triple seven acts and to be able to see that their work was was finally in the air. A morale boost. Yes egg dare you go. That's who go apparently Boeing had spent all of its money recently on everything else. Max Related in had literally tens of dollars left it. Put this webcast together. The triple seven EXA and they. They made it work but it wasn't pretty but some of the visuals. No they were pretty. They had a helicopter buzzing all over the place. Everett which was pretty damn cool but men that was some of the commentary in the video packages were painful to watch coach literally dozens of dollars to produce. They could really use professional help there. I'm sure people would be more than willing to help. But at the end of the day that got the live shot of the airplane taking off and landing. And that's all that matters. They didn't miss that in and so it all worked out. I mean they almost almost missed that lending is the livestream kick in at about five. HUNDRE- speaks so they were trying to crank. Start the camera or something I I don't know but yeah it didn't work out so we'll take what we can get. I am going to take what I can get Ango collapse into a heap because I have been up for far too long you should we should. We should all go to bed. And I think that's going to be our plan and then we'll come back in a couple of weeks and do it all over again. All right all right I am impetuous this has been episode. Seventy six of talk and I am here as always with Jase Rabinowitz. Thank thank you.
#1833 Exclusive interview with the founder of a $1.9 billion dollar cyber security company
"Hey there freedom fighters. My name is Andrew Warner. I'm the founder of mixer g where I interview entrepreneurs about how they built their businesses. I woke up at five thirty this morning. I raised over to the office and didn't need to really race. Let's be honest I sat quietly in an uber and comfortably got into the office but I got a really early because because joining me direct from Israel is the CEO and founder of Israel's largest publicly traded company a man who not to embarrass you. I don't know if it would embarrass you but a billionaire who's self-made who did it by helping companies protect themselves joining me is. Gill said he is the CO founder and CEO Oh of checkpoint. They are the world's largest pure play cyber security company. I invited him here to talk about how he built his business and we can do it. Thanks to two phenomenal phenomenal companies the I will help you hired great developers and the second which is called top talent. I should say and the second is a company that will do email marketing right. It's called the active campaign. I'll talk about those later Gil. Did it make you uncomfortable that I said that. nope fine museum okay with it good yea Can you give me an example of of what checkpoint does. I think I read in one there. It is it's in your annual report. You said our products are complex. I said well an hour. Got Explain this to myself and my audience Cuban example that will help us understand it in general what our WPRO startling. We have now a much broader. Portfolio is basically control. What traffic can go from your network to the Internet and vice versa and maybe keep it simple for example when I tested my first product in one thousand nine hundred ninety three we just we wasn't even the product it was the first prototype and we weren't factual even connected including trinet there but we took the product to our the company invested in us all the time that it became an investment company and and we connected network for the first time to the Internet we put our gateway that controls met traffic flow. We settled to call a policy that says let everything outdoor. People can browse the network access with everybody one. Don't let anything in don't let people access our computers and so on and and within five or ten minutes I suddenly see and alerts on our consumer but said somebody's trying to break into your network being a developer when you you see something like that day your immediate reaction is probably a blogging software. It's the first Iran Ethan already find something but actually on the live there all day all the Ip address says look real and look their garbage and and actually knew there weren't that many people connected to the Internet back then in Israel actual. Can you the company which was trying to break into our network in an called them up and I says who's trying to break in power network from your side and we said of of course it's not us but why don't you come visit us and check what's going on in our network. I went there. I found that some people have super user rights on older computers. I've traced it back and found that pretty much all the companies which were connected to the Internet back then in Israel were getting from one one another and interconnected in in the wrong way. We involved police and surprisingly enough against think about it. In terms of years ninety nine hundred free in a week or two the police was able to arrest teenagers but basically had access to pretty much all the companies in Israel vets in the first minutes but we ever rent the product and those teenagers were trying to do what just look around look around still data gain access to computers they eventually that will turn into bed staff because they would overload they need to do is around rent somewhere. We'll late your date. They use less for like in the US they would they create them. Eh Joran Oreo or date or which is by the way happening every week from the largest companies yeah I noticed. I don't think most of US know about checkpoint act point but we do see your name a lot in the news like I looked at micro. Here's an article from about Microsoft Microsoft refutes claims by security experts checkpoint point that firewall virus bound earlier. This month infected a quarter of a billion computers. here's another one checkpoint signs of flaw in hit game fortnight that could have let hackers break into your accounts and on and on and on usually when we see these reports are often when we see these reports check point. That is the company that uncovered them. I'm watching you by Gil as you're trying to get comfortable in that seat. How're you doing. It feels. It's what time is it where you are right now. No it's not it's five o'clock. It's okay yeah. I'm just don't feel comfortable sitting in one place. I always like walking around and the challenge. Tell me about that like e. Have you always been in that way the type of person who couldn't sit still yet. I was always like hyper in their genetic. Moving sitting in a classroom school was was my nightmare mine too. My Dad eventually negotiated with the teachers that I could sit in the last row so I can stand up and not disrupt the kids behind me for you when you do you ever have a moment summit where you sit down at your desk or is it a stand up desk no when I think that my desk when I concentrate than they think like when I used to be a programmer let's the time that I can sit for four hours and when my mind is taken by the computer and I'm challenged with something better. I can do just see the when I speak. I feel the urge urge of walking around and I do wish that we could just walk around together and to have this conversation. I feel comfortable that way to you know usually at the start part of the interview. Ask My guess what what's your revenue and they'll reveal it but in this case there's nothing to reveal. It's a publicly traded company. One point nine billion dollars in two thousand eighteen to my right. Yup All right so let's go back in time and see how you built it to the point where you got how you got here. I heard you grew up in Jerusalem. Can you give me a little color into what your life was like as a kid in Jerusalem. I was a pretty normal key. I mean in average family again average family forty five years ago. It was much less than average average family today. I mean we but I mean I was very much exposed to a lot of activities. My parents sent all the extra extra after our school activities which I didn't like most of them. From why did they do that. What were they hoping you would you would do without. What were they hoping you would become. I don't know what they were never told me that we had some expectation from me but I think we did the right thing. V exposed me to everything with say. Give me an example of something that's not. That's a little bit out there that they expose you to. I've been I used to go once a week. We had like once a week. A Film may cinema a AH fish showed the film for a young Jackie than I used to go to chemistry lessons in music and I mean really all sorts of ED activities with the in every day. I had some swimming which you know. Israel Jerusalem is in the mountains of the job on April from Jerusalem limits. We never know how to swim so we were in swimming team and that was my biggest flight may going three times a week and exercising programming programming is something you took too early on. You grew up in the seventies by the way when programming was not the cool thing to do. How did you get involved in program in computer program and I think part of it is he's my father was a program area and few years before I started the he'd be the some course of fan of learning how to program. I'm so that's probably have something to do with it but when I was in the fifth grade when I was ten years old and again I did all these other activities and I like some didn't like most of the age of ten I saw away at the school says programming course in this community center which was actually far away from my house and I said that's the one I won't register to invest what they did and then it would take the bus after school get. It's very very early hoped but they're still bend. If they weren't open. I would have to wait two or three hours outside. If they were open. They would let me in and leave me locked in so I can program in start the program. What did you program back in the seventies. I started. We've basic basic basic. Program commingled was the first microprocessor source before the first personal computers. Even I think before the apple two maybe already existed. Zi stood so it was the first eight hundred eighty or eighty five Intel microprocessors. We learned the basics will earn assembly and veterans the big magic turning computer to do anything for you. You've got deep into it. Did you know where you were going to take this what you were. I'M GONNA do with it. It's a bit stage when I was telling them but at the age of twelve I actually got through my first day job in the company with a straight and getting the sound because we're talking about the the late seventies with the computer assistant translation pretty much what Google translate enslave does for us today. Get Out Really Yep. Today looks very normal. 'twas back in the seventies looked like really science fiction a and it was and this company built a solution to the diplomatic translation a so that was my first summer job. I I was doing more. The Democrats were and the show how the software works load the actual algorithm in the age of fourteen eighteen already got my first job assist system administrators or in the university in Jerusalem. Wow that's a high responsibility job job at such an early age and you felt comfortable with it. You didn't feel like this is out of my dad some too young nothing no way it was really interesting for me and I've learned by the edge of fifteen or sixteen was even appointed to be the team leader that I got the tour free employees which were students students working for me. Boat became by the way computer science professors later. I have the police yeah you've connected with some really impressive people which I hope to get to in a bit. There's compulsory military in Israel. You went in you're you. did intelligence work. What can can you tell us about about that. I I will bro. Would I join the army a problem many programs in Israel when the young most most people go to the army the age of eighteen and do not really eh becoming really soldiers few can kill two programs vets the go-to condemning studies before the army and was phone service and then working profession. I didn't want to join any of these programs because I felt it will delay my life hyphen too many years so I actually went to the army they did recruit me into the computer unit when expected me to a introduce then van things like UNIX systems and open systems that were making her first steps into the market and vegetable diabetes based on my experience is from university and I was building different types of computing system network's programming new staff and a very were very very interesting game service because I served. We've amazing people at different fields that you never get expose them lifestyle. Let's talk about them. Did you find actually slow Kramer one of your co founders. You didn't meet him and through the military. You met him through his grandmother's. I understand it. What do I met him. The army we thirty army programs at the age of eighteen went to computer shooter science these BSE and he joined at the age of twenty one. I joined was a eighteen or eighteen and a half and we started together. Yes and so you said earlier. I didn't want to delay my life. I wrote that down because it seemed like there was significant there. What did you imagine you're going to do. What were you waiting to get get to and didn't want to delay. I I've won. I knew what they wanted to do something with computers maybe an enterpreneur wanted to build my own product but just to understand what in my life when you go if you could go to the army at the age of eighteen leave it by the age of twenty one twenty two when you have all your options open in your life life or you can go to one of his programs. When you go to university for for years then go to the army not for free years but for six years that means by by the age of seventeen you need to make a decision where he will be at the age of twenty seven and when I was seventeen even though I had a very good sense what they want to deal with computers Earth I felt with the age of seventeen. You can't decide what you want to be when you were twenty seven. Keep my options moral. okay all right but you you did know that you were going to do something where you on the lookout for co-founders or were you just saying let's see what happens with Beijing. Just say let's see what happens. I wasn't a I mean what I want to the Army I didn't I mean I was still learning phase. It's not the mean I already have experienced. I worked in many companies companies vital way when all the time I worked in night. Free different places in parallel university was the Army I work at some may global. Oh ballet companies that were which were doing some work in Israel so I was always on the lookout for for learning and exploring moral fed the computer. For how many hours do you sleep much but then you guys human beings we get my theory. I think we are hardly getting Ping from ourselves. Safer percent of our potential. We can do much more talking about myself. You feel like you still are only tapping thirty percent of your potential and there's more in in there. How many allergies sleeper five six hours five hours usually four or five hours wow all right? What led you to found the company checkpoint so I mean when I left the army or within you want to build my own product but I didn't actually have the right idea. I got got Gabia for check on was I got the idea at the army starred this distort from scratch. One of my projects in the army was connected to classified fight network's. They were literally behind behind the one from one another but we were very very classified them. The what was the early days in late eighties the beginning like ninety nine hundred people started connecting computer networks and more type was dust. We've is how wide connect he's two networks and keep the security of my network. which was the more the more classified one? I've been find good solutions in the marketplace. It wasn't talking rights. On what solution can I deploy so he came up with a simple idea define. The simple language would describe communication protocol all I would translate into some engine like a virtual machine with analyzes the traffic very very fast and create the right. They you create the right. The behavior will screen the traffic and allow only the right traffic lamented that idea it was few hugh week project and it worked so when they left the army. I already knew betsy would idea work. It was real unser the relief. It was the year nineteen ninety-one. Tom Looked at that idea and I said there's no really exciting markets for going through. Some big organization convinced women veteran network needs to be compartmentalized or classified not such an exciting market so for two years I did completely different things in the field of reprinting material handling consulting companies worked in four places in parallel and then ninety free arrives in ninety three something pretty big happen in Beth was the Internet change from AC academic network with open only for universities when open network but any company in the world can connect and it's vets point the first question of a few dozen companies that connected to the Internet. I was okay where connect ingves fifteen thousand universities outwear. How do we prevent all of these students do from getting empowered filed into our networks investment is dead while we got the idea of how to do that and especially for a young wasn't accused but the young person and he's. Shelly said that the Internet can really change the world. We in today's hyper imagined event in the world that you don't be made. You're in a fire away country and if you want to communicate here what's going on in the world. It's process takes weeks bilateral or you're relying on the you know the preview of newspaper. That's information but you got. I won't look for a new product. Can you computer if the local distributor will send me a month later. After the product has come out grew nor did happens. It's not I will wait. You know two months until I get you weigh a UNIX World Magazine magazine to learn about something new invest information but they were then. What's the small piece in the newspaper so for me the Internet the fact that I can communicate with everyone in. I'm vetting formation said that will make a big revolution to the world. Everybody needs the security so that's when I turned into my two co founders only told them you remember my idea from two years ago. I think that's the right time to market and so you started you you mentioned raising money at what point at this point you hadn't raised money yet right at respond. We haven't raised money but we said okay what we're going to do. We need do we keep our day the jobs and develop the product at night and we got the product and Vince start selling we didn't have much experience of course do we raised by Donald Dewey raise money than hi venture capital industry in Israel. Did we didn't really know it wasn't really existed as we had a lot of We did brainstorming. Ben We. We got to sound good conclusion. I we said we need to focus on the new idea. We've all aware energy. The market is moving very fast Internet. That is moving fast. We can develop it tonight and waits until we got the protocol right. We have to run fast to do that. We said we do need some funding it again. Just we just putting perspective we wrap their products on the UNIX. Machine on computers is computers used because ten thousand dollars each each so just to get computers. We needed to get like twenty thousand dollars. which is an amount of money but we didn't have we didn't we didn't think but we need lots of money would just fail to it? We really the basic so they conclusion but we had with we need to find a way to raise money something like one hundred thousand dollars the weekend started flying to the US and market the product yet our computers and do some more basic things like that and and we started looking and then two free months later we raise that to one hundred and fifty thousand dollars from from bureau which back then was a software software company they actually developed one of the first anti-viruses of the world a unveil yelm deter some American companies when he's eventually to Symantec but it was after few steps on the way they weren't the VC at the time mm-hmm they became later they got for about half of check point a checkpoint for two hundred thousand dollars just to give people people's sense of what the world was like that then Yup and by the way was their best investment probably one of the best investment ever because a these two hundred fifty thousand dollars a a free years later. We're worth a two hundred and fifty million dollars a year later. It was half a billion in the year two thousand. It was worth about ten billion dollars and to give people a sense. It's you have not lost control the company or at least you still have over fifteen percent of the business today you have the same percent that they had on day one because we actually never raised the money beyond that point we we completed our business plan and turned profitable there after about one hundred thousand dollars wow all right. I WanNa find out how you got your first customers. I I'm going to tell everyone about a company called active campaign. You probably aware of this. This is how the world should work. This is how it works for smart companies. When you come onto my website I can tell what you're looking at. I can tell what videos you're into so for example somebody who might come onto my website if if they're looking at your video and then they're looking to others rally founders. I might know that they're into Israeli entrepreneurs right and so I could just tag them based on what they're doing and then fire off email messages to them saying hey you I happen to have a fourth Israeli entrepreneur and by the way if you sign up to my membership then you're going to get access to these other three Israeli Israeli entrepreneurs who are teaching courses only aimed at people who are a premium members. That's a type of stuff that every website should do most businesses. Don't do a Gill because they're not as smart as you. They don't have to figure out the software involved in marketing automation so active campaign a company. That's been around forever said you know what we're gonNA. Make it super simple. They now make it easy easy. Anyone can do it. Anyone can get the results may guarantee it if you. I don't think you need this but if anyone out there is listening to me and they're looking for email email automation. That's easy to use it. They will actually implement. I want you to go over to active campaign dot com slash mixture G. They will let us their software for free. Your second month will be the absolutely free. They're going to give you two free consultations with experts and if you're with the different email marketing company where you don't have these features they will migrate you over for free. The ought to do is go to that. You are L. It's active campaign dot com slash mixer. How how did you get your first customers. Gill so they're getting the I got the big challenge. My belief was that the I should look at the Israeli market when I knew the people and so on because in the tech market people followed the America the US so I need to find some real American customers and if I find them the rest of the world will follow so so I was starting looking in the finding people in the US will look for the software the wild and we found few guys helped us get to customers customers by free four months later we had about ten sites with customers yet but we're running our products in the US a nine out of there I mean we actually had about twenty and in Israel tending the US nineteen out of twenty dollars which they liked the product and they want to bite eight one told us by the way that we like the product but they don't think that connected to the Internet to safe enough so they will lay so they will wait turn out out with the year later of a full ten copies because we all know that you can be in our world without connecting to the Internet but the real the challenge started about three four months later when my co founders came to me and say you see where was April of Nineteen ninety-four we are. We are on them. We're here for about the year. We built a product with get good feedback from these twenty Baker sides. The Internet is ninety four not many many people knew about the Internet but we so how fast growing a but how do we feel. How do we free guys. We were still free people at the company free guys but seeking Tel Aviv. How do we turn the vet their businesses into sales and basically what they said they sent me to the US and we said your goal is very simple. You don't come back without the million dollar sales a I was trying to make the market see who can help us still finding resellers actually the US market and that was my task for the next ten days provea time I had a lot of story turns out with these ten baked beans less than as we lasted about one hundred days but they came back free free months later with the million dollar and basically establishing were first few customers mainly signing up some real wood construction trucks we distributors in the US. The product was firewall one point firewall one and it did what so the province basically allows every company to define where security policy what communication can go out like people can surf the web go to send email whatever everybody everybody thinks that people are allowed to do in what should also come in like external computer should have external entities can have access to your main server server food the SMTP for sending you e mail or can have access to the HDTV protocol to your webster and vets kind of simple what is described as what we call a security policy a tribute today but it was intriguing back then and even even today companies envy's kind of fe thousands of security rules about who can communicate with your business partners. Your branch office says different application of connect one another's returned out with model of what we call. A policy or rule based turned out to be very powerful. I'm looking at your website from nineteen ninety-seven so again you you were founded in one thousand nine hundred three a year before Amazon Nineteen One thousand nine hundred seventy four. The web was invented before the web. The web browser came to market the ninety four year late and so oh by ninety-seven you guys put out a press release saying we now have forty four percent of the worldwide market share for firewall and it's because you went out out there and you sold a million dollars in one hundred days to whom what was your sales process defense process was to do a simple them. We came to a customer at the presentation by the way presentation. Beckmann wasn't our point was in the four or two on a projector literally they would have a projector doctor and you would put those little slides on there no the sheets of paper that were transparent sheets yet the the transparent sheet of paper on set and then people. I would like people to say we like the idea. Can you show us a demo. Admit I said sure here's the diskette. Put it in your son computer. Turn usually and outwit stole it and my challenge was that it will take less than ten minutes to get the system up and running working completely and by the way Beckmann people let me put on our firewall on their gateway to the Internet in minutes and usually when we would keep the I'm surprised that they would let you just go in and install something on their computers a guy who like you said you were in Israel far away seven hour flight- easiest if you've got a direct to get over how they that's just the way the world worked. They said sure come on in. Why do they trust you. The good question I mean I think I will hopefully I am showing a like a trustworthy luke but I made no but I mean even today we download them or software and and try out a a Beker van they today when people change for Internet Corporation. The entire business depends on keeping by with for most of these businesses ancient ancient Boecklin was something quite experimental and concerned with Ren- joining Linke's wide-open was huge concern about everybody can access this your server turnout your work steeler data change everything in a postal the fact. Let's actually head somebody that gives him. A security dissolution was a pretty big thing. You went public soon after launching. How long did it take you. We started the company ninety free launch the product ninety ninety four and we went public in ninety six so let's less than three years after we started the company on Nasdaq on the kiss because you wanted to be if more American you could be in the beginning the more credibility you have with the world. Is that right absolutely I mean I didn't want to go public but my shareholders really wanted vet so we kind of forced me shareholders who pushed you to go public a they were the main with made the first investment and then they sold some almost their shared via fifty percent in the company. They sold twenty percent perfect twenty percent of the company American. VC's excellently stealing stealing my Lord then rel and US vp US venture partners and actually the two partners invested Beckman are still in my board so I'm wondering why you were the one to sell. I'm looking at Shlomo Kramer's in Info about him. He's the guy who has a kid while you're coding voting. Yes he was into computers for sure but he was selling games. He was selling stuff. Why were you the one to go out and sell I if we all got engaged event when I got we all wearing devolved and actually I started doing the deal then may actually my Arthur Marcus turn to be our virtual sales and marketing organization literally leaving out of his suitcase and he spent like two years traveling in the US doing all the field work meeting. We've partnered Martin customers fixing issues in the product doing sales marketing every scene Schlomo turning the head of our business development than a sales in Europe and the rest of the world and then actually the fleet Shlomo became moved to the US for a couple all of years to support our people then we over the employees in the US to support or opposing the US in Myers became the head affair international sales and marketing think and literally the free of us did everything we program the product did sell the marketing. We did all the administrative administrative staff we gave support to customers. It took the time until we got employees them when we got employees already involved in everything I want to go into how you got employee's but it's kind of interesting that as I'm going in the history of your website first of all it looked for moment there like it was a Geo city site with like like a brick wall on the website as the background and so on but what was interesting was at some point you guys decided we're GonNa do seminars and symposiums the more we can go around the world to New York or at least the around the US to New York Dallas San Francisco and do seminars teach people about security the more we can sell our product that seemed like a big part of your marketing getting in a beginning absolutely by steelers and let's remember today you can to webcast and you can do a lot of things online all of that didn't exist in the nineties nineties when from the two thousand and even today if you still think about it most of us most of the studies that we do still ban in the classroom and still done John. When people take gain our attention and put us in the room when we concentrate on the end when we look at the person in the eye so still today will do a lot of these seminars even both today some officials shifted into the into the online web like listening to a podcast is a great thing but again none of that exists in the nineties so you mentioned going hiring people one of the things that I read in that Forbes article about you. You went on the cover Forbes. It was impressive for you by the way. Did you care that was maybe the most impressive cover that I ever got because Forbes magazine night went on there like most sold the issue of the year so that was a big big for me. It was the very again. I felt it. Nobody else does because nobody from the people leave around in Tel Aviv. Nobody's he's reading Forbes. I felt it was a great recognition and it's the most read because that's their list list of the billionaires around the world right and so that's the one that everyone takes saves as a kid. I used to take it and save it and go through everyone. It's interestingly how people would would kinda companies. People would make the one that was most fascinating to me. Was it was a guy I forget his name but he was in the scrap metal business and I said wow scrap metal business and he's one of the richest people in the country. It really is just so diverse so I wanted to ask you a little bit about how in that article you said many what we could do as an Israeli company is have offices around the world and tell them what to do or will we could do is it. Will you had a bunch of different options said instead what we're going to do is have offices around on the world. They lead and we are there to to do what what's the structure that you came up with. And how did you come up with that. The structure of a tweet came was to be what I call used. I used to call a global company. I don't think that the Israelis we can teach the world everything we don't know all the answers and if American companies for example you establish system structure and then you say let's imitative at all around the world doesn't always work but at least you have one huge market invest the US but first big league enough successful there. You can be successful in second. The entire world looks up to it coming from Israeli. Expect that to happen. I mean I need to tourney in every country. DELUCA practices how you do business how you interact with customers with your distributors. We've your partners a in and for me. If I'm trying to do everything based on me. Being you know Israeli a note the right answer. They probably won't get the maximum potential at so. I can watch some humility within it says I need to learn from everyone and I also don't want to think people all over the world will feel that they've ah working for an Israeli company should feel with a work for a global technology company and the structure but they tried to create. How did you learn how to manage. How did you learn how to hire. Where did you learn that part of the business. I think I learned over almost everything is I mean out of my job. I mean when I made the first hiring programmers wasn't very difficult. I managed some small teams. I knew how how to do that since you were a kid basically since you were a teenager you were managing small teams. I've been involved. I've seen veteran hiring the first sales and marketing person we had in the US was a huge challenge. I'll be five person how do you work with. Them was completely new experience for me. I was referred to some head hunting something firm. I don't think it exists anymore. In New York invaded the terrific job lining up the candidates explaining me the process I literally worked with them for like three months when we spoke almost every hour about the next step and what should we do and when a hired my first employee in America when named victory on she was VP marketing in Dobbin became the head of checkpoints sales and marketing a I just descended what I need to do is spend this much time with hers. Also I mean I we have no common background around never worked for the same type organization so we practically spent probably at least half to further our time together. She would come into Israeli week every month. I would spend almost two weeks in the US. I'm we work together and still we established. The Trust. Were relationship sheep. We know what we're doing. Did you have any mentors. Did you have anyone who is guiding you. I don't see any of that as I as I read up about you. It feels like there was someone who is helping you that you do. Draw good people to you but who's the person who brought the best out of you. Unfortunate I mean at first I learned learning every day and they used to learn a lot more still do from everybody that's around me and from reading from everything in the world but unfortunately eh single mentor of it they can say that's the person. I was looking up to a part of it was because we started in an industry that didn't exist art of it because could we started in Israel with even head a lot of technology when didn't have a lot of a successful global companies and and I think what we need is every problem that we chew or challenged. We we learned just me and my two partners marks. Tromo and we really analyze every situation folded through spent a lot of time analyzing the bills invented for our but there's not that one person who's who's there to coach you. Who's there to mentor you. WHO's there helping you figure this stuff out. It's you know it's not not one person again. We got a lot of would advise. I can say we got visa advice from Burson. We got visit light from the person but when I was young I was very stubborn so it wasn't just giving me an idea in in short everything was every was given it was challenging. I was thinking it through. I was fighting it and then I may form my own implant and I got some really baby as in the early days I feel like we're talking only about the successes. What's the big challenge. What's the one that almost baroque you or that made you doubt yourself. Did you ever have that or was it super easy. It wasn't super easy. I worked really really hard that it wasn't something with almost broke me simply because even and we worked hard than we were challenged we at the end we were successful so there wasn't the something that broken us but in the early days. I was challenged with new things that were completely new to me on the weekly basis and they just learned that to overcome these challenges. What's the biggest one was one big one but for example I mentioned the first week with my partners sent me to the US to bring the million dollar. I met the market. They sent few emancipate schedule like a half a dozen meetings. One of the first meeting was actually we've an Internet service provider during the New Jersey a Princeton University in Vietnam. You know we don't know if your product is good or not. Definitely sounds interesting next next week versions of the trade show in Las Vegas Netra Literal Beckmann physical trade shows or why don't you come show. The product in our customers are interested and vegetables. I think the most intensive week of my life because I said I I called my partner that was by the time it wasn't for me eleven. PM At night or later I spent almost half the night discussing with them. If we should participate in via trade trade your naught because the challenge of setting up something in a week seems like the challenge and that week I've learned so much from the fact that the US US customer one caller res Rayleigh number was our brochure so we had twist Amish ritual office an answering service address. We've been one eight hundred number so people can answer the phone learn how to do that and Beckham any opening the yellow pages the physically yellow pages looking through the list calling twenty agencies like taking the throne women like on the right one through a cream things seekers but we can speak on the back of our brochures to putting sign the drinking a computer needed wanted to demo the products needed by local by to rent computers big son computers. I found the news agency Ziva the rent them. I call them heaven available said Okay so what's your Detroit. They have no clue what secratary for example and they and we need to figure every single item in the logistics and interestingly enough ten days later when we were in bed show a we walked in the best of show award for the best youth throwback so that was a very very intensive than based they learn so much by the the way that phone number thing is still an issue. I was trying to contact somebody in the Israeli security space. I wanted to just work Israeli security company and ask them a question about you. I couldn't even and get them on what's APP. It wasn't until maybe a few minutes later but it felt like a long time that I realized Oh you got to get rid of the zero five and add the seven nine nine to I guess it is the country code whatever and once added that then I was able to reach them on on what's up at issue is an issue. It seems so small but when you're in the US you don't think about when you leave the US. You're communicating internationally. It's an issue American bump realized that because you've got the entire world domestic of other parts of the world by the way issue issue we call everywhere Romero invest by the way we figure that out with an American want call an international numbers. We need to have one eight hundred number and we I feel like number one eight hundred four nine nine one one because let me talk about my second sponsor and then. I want to get back again and I want to ask you A. I don't get into politics but I do have a question about politics based on something eastern. My second sponsor is a company called top towel. Gill I've got to tell you. One of my guests is a guy who runs a text company called Tango. It's kind of cool. I was riding my bike here. Through the the mission San Francisco I saw an ad for him. You went from being small died now having ads all over San Francisco and where he had an issue where he and his CTO tried to hire they started putting ads out. They started getting a bunch of applications. It's most of them. Were not good. It was taking a long time it was distracting from their business and they finally said you know. Andrew's tuck constantly talking about top talent. Just try top talent. They went to top top sal gave them to developers no dozens and dozens of resumes no hundreds of applications that make you feel good but really waste your time to. CTO talked to both what those people said. You know we could hire either. One of them hard. One that they felt was a good fit but either one would have been fine and then after the person started working with them the CTO said you know Derek. This guy could actually end up being are these guys as good as me could be could be or CTO. It was that good. They kept on hiring from top towel if anyone out there including including in Gil is looking to hire developers. You know how hard it is top. Towel has a different approach. They have a database of developers that are already in their network when you when you call them up you tell me what you're are looking for. They go into their network. They put you. They connect you with two or three people who they think are going to be a good fit. You decide who you want and if you're not happy you do not have to pay. Here's the the deal all you have to do is go to top Tau Dot Com Slash Mc Sergiy when you do. You'RE GONNA get eighty hours of top towel developer credit when you pay for your first eighty hours in addition to a no risk trial trial period of up to two weeks if at the end of the period you're not one hundred percent satisfied. You will not be billed top towel dot COM Slash Mixture G. T. O. P. T. A. L. DOT dot com slash m. I R. G. Y. Really talk to Derrick Johnson so many other people who fired you'll see they love them. You mentioned people now work from must frost from everywhere and one of the things that you said was the first the first group of people on that list. This is just me operating from memory. Was Israeli Arabs. I'm wondering like what is the. How do you hire Arabs do. How's that working for you. We hire everyone. That's here we do believe in openness as we do believe in the equal opportunities to everyone and check on. We are actually when you get. I don't know how much you know about these really society but when you walk walk through the checkpoint dining room it launched a perfect example of how everybody can work together and seeing the people from different backgrounds and different points of view around around the world wherever dogs for Arab Laura and the part of society why hypic is such a great connector people people out. Can we can all work together and you do okay. That's all I've got about politics. I suck at politics. Let's talk about the future. What do you what what do you see. The company gone the challenge interestingly enough after in twenty six years in business most businesses reach a point when they say we've covered our with our goal and now we need to find new frontiers interestingly enough in Cybersecurity at the frontiers. Just keep expanding ending. We have more and more challenges. The problem was important problem. Twenty six years ago became the critic problem today. What was something about protecting your fines against students in universities is now off the future fe Konami or the future of fit fit country to country defense and it's really lifeline of businesses so I mean we have a lot of work to do now. Protecting both the networks the mobile cloud even Iot are becoming the next generation and we need to protect the entire environment to make sure but we can connect one another securely great now from what I see the majority of their revenue comes from sales of integrated appliances and security product security charity products meaning software or is it largely like devices that you're selling most of what we sell software but we sell the software today mostly integrated or what we call appliances which includes the software and the hardware Demari our market shifted from buying purely the software and installing it on open servers. I want the full. No like rugged is the a high quality blinds when everything is integrated the hardware and the software and because by the weights of mission critical device Vitesse Veterans Alden nitric traffic for the most for you know the most most dependable networks in the World Bank's ECOMMERCE companies everyone relying on these devices to run over traffic for them and you mentioned Internet of things I saw that that was becoming a bigger a bigger part of your future. What are you. What are you doing there? I think part of the challenges oranges you know when you protect the network you know how to we know how to do it when you go to. The individual computers installed security software and then to make them even more secure. What do you do these small IOT devices that are not smart enough to have their own security that you can't install software how you befriended them. Invest One of the challenges we are trying to five face right now how to protect members multiple ways from monitoring the traffic off except for example your personal computer and you surf the network. It's evaluated behavior if you are in the MRI machine in the hospital and suddenly you access the Internet. Maybe it means that you've been heck. Machine should access the internet or if you're a you know a controller controlling the power station and you suddenly start communicating. We've ever entities met my the rogue behavior so we are developing these profiles afford afford the right behavior of each device and if something goes out of it ride behavior we can block it right away and make sure the tekere's don't take advantage of fewer you were a pure. IOT devices. What do you think of Warren Buffett and Bill Gates giving pledge where they're trying to get billionaires to commit to giving the majority of their wealth away very nice move on very side. I think it's a great initiative. I mean like we should get more time one David. They can dedicate more of my time but you're you're not a part of that. Have you specifically I'm part of many offer few hours too many initiatives in Israel and disproportionality here. That's your charitable charitable contribution. Is there is there. Is there something you're especially passionate about that way to project the personal involvement impatient about `bout are both about education and very the two extreme what is actually a bigger one is actually helping kids with our practically weekly drop out of school with everybody gave up poke about them and people think that they can really great your trump school go to college and become citizens with can contribute to society and actually there is a organization of it takes care of Feminine Amazing Results that they've never seen such outside David's keys myth. Nobody believes women ninety four ninety seven percents that not only finish highschool scorebook finish highschool in a way that can get college vet changes. Their entire lives perception of grades believing in yourself. That's orgainzation and another one is is the opposite side before eucation vets called Tel Aviv University. When we are a enabling Halloween. Alad kids become going studying university while we're still in high school and they basically maximize their potential so where actually actually by way I think that we are in the top of our a abilities wearing the teenagers fifteen sixteen new think about vet wearing the or mental capacity as it smacks. We don't have any obligations if we like something we can teen sixteen mental capacities at its maximum. Most people think the opposite at that's where kids are stupid. I I tend to agree with you. I think there's a lot of intelligence that's not being appreciated and not being used and so they end up going to stupid stuff. I think so too and I think and by the way remember to vet stage. If you like something you can do it fulltime. You don't need to support yourself. You donate to make money you don't we need to raise a family could obsess on it. You don't need to do your laundry or reporter. Does it for you. If you like something and it doesn't matter if it's football football or science or girls you can do it a democracy and I think Veterans Ation Tel Aviv University maximizes net potential central unbelievable. What comes out of these kids and these kids can keep vittore? These are good kids but yeah instead of being you know especially especially in the Israeli society when you go to the army and by the time you're thinking about how to excel in your car year or Yuna Condemning Study Zero Rabi. Maybe twenty five twenty six and the and now you need to think about how to start supporting yourself and raise a family to do it. At the age of sixteen instead it creates huge stars that everybody benefits Roman. We believe these people will be leaders. What we call the leaders of tomorrow especially especially in the field of enterpreneurship in science and so on because you give them an opportunity to do something with the intelligence and the focus that they have mixed us out with this? My goal here is to understand Dan. You and the other guests were coming on so that we can all learn from you. What do you think like what what would you leave us with if we wanted to be more like L. if we wanted to bring more out of ourselves into the world tap more into the other seventy percent that you said most of us don't tap into what what can we do. I think beyond working hard which is always a good. I think it's always looking at the two sides of every story. It may be whether it's for example. You need to be very very passionate about something and believe in it on the brand. You need to challenge yourself. We what are the facts and the day and if you can get talk to correlate your about something in the data supports then it's worth doing and hey you know refuting. The data looks good but you're not. It's not likely that you'll you'll be able to invite by the way that's true for every decision so if you find the one thing that you're really passionate about it and you challenge yourself with the site of the brain with brings you all the analysis and the data and you can really find the idea in both of these things come together then you can find something that can really make a difference so have a direction you are super passionate out but constantly challenged it and make sure that the data supporting it all right good place leave it. Thanks so much for being on here for anyone who wants to check out your website. You've had check point dot com since since since basically the web existed. You've had that site of look at this. The first version was the first thing that I see nineteen ninety six. I guess you got your website. Webb site from you place on the web. We got it the ninety ninety three I don't. I don't see it in the Internet Archive. maybe you super. Maybe you've got it before. The Internet archive started archiving it but it's interesting to have gone through the history of your company as the website evolved. Are It said CHECKPOINT JOINT DOT COM. I WanNa thank the to sponsor. May interview happened the I will help you hire. Phenomenal developers called top towel. Check out a top dot. com slash mixer and the second will do email marketing right. It's called active campaign go to them at active campaign dot com slash Mitsubsihi Gill. It's an honor to have you on here. Thank you thank you very much you agree off off the great interviewer really thank you all right bye bye bye bye.
The Secret Policeman's Tour - Edinburgh 2019
"Hello this is Deborah Frances White. This is the second of our secret policeman's tore shows. We're back in the Edinburgh playhouse where we gave this idea is soft launch last last year. This is a show. You should really come to a few possibly can but we're excited to bring you some highlights. I'd like to thank everyone who performed on the night and gave their time and talent for this incredible calls Grace Petri Rachel Paris niche come on Cindy amount as it in just Robinson Larry You Dean Rosie Jones Cheval McSweeney Nikola caughlin search Monica Jackson Jamie Lee O'donnell Anna Warren Steve Ali Hollie mcnish phoebe Robinson undesired birch also working behind the scenes Geeta D. C. O. Rachel Kaufman Kalemba and everyone and I'm nasty next stop on the tour will be the Manchester Palace theater on the third of December. Get your tickets at eight hundred tickets dot com or check the guilty feminist website for more details now on with the show Oh good evening everybody and welcome to the secret policeman install the Edinburgh playhouse fees welcome to say your host for this evening Amnesty Ambassador Deborah Frances White first of all sign language interpreters have an anti-rebel of all appreciate the study one person there now I am aware of that but they switch in announce announced because it's too much for anyone to do over one periods academy supporting us all evening funny now I was because I was it's back and I got written-off spinal tap style because it is really up and down round the I was I was I went down. I was meant to go. I went out put us. It was like brexit where I was and then I ended up on the wrong side of backstage and there was a rope saying don't go past there but I was being caused. I'm just going to have to. I'm going to have to be a rebel. I'm going to have to be a revolutionary. I'm going to have to go not meant to go and that's why I ran across and then a man came up and said you're not meant to do that because now you've cost a chateau on the screen I fucking. John has cast a shadow. However human rights have gone the stage yet now? We've got a very special thing does anybody. BBC's grown up obviously Missolonghi no nothing about it. it's a podcast but we always have this lovely segment. I'll coach Steve Alice perspective. There's one very big fan laugh of Steve Alleys perspective so Steve Holly is from Syria he became a refugee and was displaced and has made his way through justifying circumstances to the UK and so this segment is when listeners writing their problems and Steve takes the most first world problem answers with a refugee answer the refugee solution to your first world problem so today at the fringe we rent around and we got some first world problems and we are not going to pick one out for Steve to do tonight A. K. so are you ready Luca you. There's a lot of them which I'm so delighted about that for financial reasons now Steve Inhale yeah all the questions so you don't get to pick out. We're going to get an audience member to pick one out okay so this is the question then you're going to have the first half of the show to write an op also which you will come out and delivered to the audience at the top of the second half show up for that okay. I'm up good now if not to be honest to doc. I've told them what excited anyone here who feel that they have a job. That's most deserving of somewhat somebody who he human rights Effects Job Youtube does something for the human beings. Nobody has a joke that helps. It's a policy states of affairs this day. Okay what's your name. I'll some so oh man after these little I'm the attractive Swat right sure sounds Italia lovely. Are you in fact Italian. Oh even more even better even he has to do even less now so I'll fund so what's your job software engineer a software engineer so you're part of the problem. It's tech more than banking. That's killing the world and it's the monopolies. Are you working for like vessels or someone terrible arable google. That's not much better. No I think they're official. Slogan is do no evil. They fucked up process up fucking core. The value is do no evil you google so you will be doing the running back as a search engine right okay all right so your job is not good enough. You can't be the choosers but you can be the holder so you are now the embodiment of the search attention. Does it feel familiar so who was over here said they had a job for human rights what helping children get to boarding school. What do you do to help them? Get the right support in school. What kind of the children children with special needs okay? Hey okay now. It makes sense we also could you please take the bag to the people people who care more about human rights than you because of everyday they get up to help children with special nate's why you know take it to those people okay and then they're gonNA pick one outs okay all right. So do you want to read this out. Once you have a best of what I forgive everything else on seven in fact I thought so I'm just GonNa put it to you that I think you could do more. I think you could start. Stop making like sort of APPs and things things that could help people and we should talk about what we can do together on the side so distracted while I almost fell backwards over speaker but that's just the charm of a Spanish man. I've said it before I'll side again. I do not know why we're leaving the union. I'm not suggesting a union but I am saying so. We're still European FR- a short window with this could be a truly European Union. I'm sorry I just the suspect. You'll go for enjoyed. So is this just thanks. I'm so I'm so married and I'm not in one of those open. I'm barely nearly monogamous to be honest with you. Know One of the jokes have a lovely evening together together. You will not be pursued followed now. Join the rebound you. How can I experience life in a refugee camp so I can have a better understanding of the refugee experience without actually living then? I well problem isn't it. I just want to build an embassy done anyway. Inconvenienced Cave that keeps my empathy experience. Do you think you can do something you. You can do that all right all right some exciting isn't it. We've got so much in store for you tonight. We've got so many amazing amazing comedians all you ready for the first act. He's an incredible incredible comic. You will know him from the Mash report the Apollo and all sorts of wonderful things we will no no him from being just a stand up amazing guy backstage. Put Your hands together making credible noises for the wonderful aw nice to see great to be here in Scotland Scotland. It's an interesting time in the last couple to come up as sort live left-wing comedian to Scotland do political comedy in front of Scottish audiences so obviously there is a lot of tension still remaining in Scotland over the question of Scottish Independence Fiber Labor scholarship. She's calm down bravehearts good while he would say to the people in favor of scholarship. Independence is that there were lots of sections of the British left that are broadly sympathetic towards the idea certainly in the aftermath of brexit terms relationship with the United Kingdom seemed to fundamentally change and it it seems like there is at least grounds for a second ask that question but on the other hand. Please don't leave us with these in Scotland on the English to leave us with why Golsen chants come and join us. I can't secede from the Union. What a time to be a ofo the prime minister of Boris Johnson amount? He's been fired from all of his jobs for incompetence mendacity. Your both this boy Boris Johnson is less a man more performance art prank in what if white privilege was a guy. We need to have a second brexit referendum. I believe that now more than I've ever believed it the the guilty feminist the secret policeman's ball. Let's consider this second referendum people a safe space unless just for one second admit that fundamentally the reason we want a second referendum is because we lost the first one we had one fifty two to four. We would not be talking a second referendum. We'd all the will of the people must be respected where other people must be respected. Remain Maine's remained remain means ran. My I pod remained mandatory croissants for everyone sick sick of people saying if there's no deal brexit we'll survive. Why would you vote for something? Whether best case scenario is you dumped die now. People keep saying we survived the Second World War. We survived the Second World War firstly. No we fucking didn't millions of people watch any of you seen any film secondly. We is an interesting choice of Pronoun we I don't remember US surviving the Second World War so they survived the Second World War. We conserve our phones being eight percent battery. How are you going to withstand the blitzkrieg of the looked WASPA- uh-huh four thirty PM everyday you have a full nervous breakdown in your office? Does anyone appetites of course the small one. Why do you still you'll have to pick one darren? It's fine without the button. Also when we talk about the second mobile we know understanding of the nature of British history right when we talk about the second mobile we portray Britain's this nation to survive on its own but at the time the Second World War Britain's still an empire from which it was able to divert badly needed food and Resources Winston Churchill took food from India and used it to feed starving British people and that is where the brexit world war two comparison if ever stood up for one fucking second fundamentally falls down because I have taken a quick look at the current state eight of the British Empire and all I can say is Gibraltar had better fucking police assault sound. I don't know what they're doing on Gibraltar but it has the best be the mass production of ten goods and insulin to my left office after doing her best to solve the brexit problem by bringing the withdrawal bill just the same one every time changing changing the phone every time the thing is right. I've been an outspoken critic of to reasonably in the past. When she left office when she was standing outside number ten Downing Street and she was crying regardless? I felt about her on a human level yet to fill about brexit negotiations about the opened with the phrase. No deal is better than a bad deal. Thus quashing any any possibility of a compromise soft brexit regardless my fell about that you feel the only human also fell about the hostile environment policy is she pursued while time secretary culminating the situation where members of the windros generation were deported from their homes. We're going to say that you have to admit the only we're going to sway five other grenfell tower tragedy and the lack of empathy and the response onto the situation the fourteen people still have no housing from the Grenfell Tower tragedy regardless very felt by that you ought to admit on a human level went to reach my stood outside ten downing on extreme and cried. It was really funny. It was so funny she was a job on a rice as she cried and I'm happy. Thank you very much. See you again good ball. The next act is an incredible performance poets you you will really enjoy her very beautiful work. Put Your hands together and making credible noises. Hello squads squats to go on as opposed on a comedy. If I'M GONNA have as it might be what you're waiting for but I'm going to read some phones for you and hope you enjoy them. I am I was thinking of poems to read out and thought long and hard about it and for some reason I seem to have picked poems about my grandma and fingering no not at the same time and so I'm not really sure what the theme is of the set. Thanks have made so yeah I would stop if this poem and is one way to do it because I'm staying in a hotel and I always get excited staying in hotels and for the first time about a month ago when I was until somebody told me that I should stay in the shampoo bottles so oh I try to my grandmother's taught me like a law in my life and one of the main things that they taught me was steel and and things like that and some sort of feeling a bit bad about between my grandma's and the like climate change enj- basically so so this is a poem about that anniversary after taking your after the first time I didn't still a sham people or tea bag or or anything which I think should commend myself for and it's an codes nakedly bax grandma. Please forgive me. This is your fault grandma. I'm like this. I cannot leave the tiny shampoo bottle in the hotel shower which do not need to take a do not need to take it. Would we just sit in my bathroom cupboard unused for years but I cannot leave it or the shower gel or the body lotion. I don't even use body lotion. This is your grandma. I cannot leave the tea bags in the basket for the next guest I cannot leave. The biscuits in the pack is in the basket for the next guest uses your for. I cannot leave the alcohol in the glasses or the barrels or autos or you can drink parties that you pay fees in advance for this. Is Your fault that night. I ended up in a car park in to to think in the car. Park was my bedroom because I had to get my money's worth. You have to get your money's worth really all you can drink in advance. Parties are only five pounds to get into any way but don't worry grandma wasn't a friend found me we bought home. It was fine but grandma remember he used to order twenty packs of sugar with your tea on the train down from Glasgow just so you could steal steal the packets of sugar but the excuse that they would have thrown them away anyway after being on your sauce. You never even ordered team. Just a Mug of water and twenty packs of sugars slipped not back from your handbag so you did not have to pay the full price for a cup of tea on the train. Today I left a hotel room for the first time in my life without taking taking a single teabag. Not One do not need the T. Backley. You do not need the teapot called World War Two is over but now but now oh I'm on the train back home staring out the window and I can feel you on my shoulder. Looking down on me disgusted frowning at the loss. What's happened to your family? What's happened? It's your granddaughter whispering traitor traitor whispering traitor. Thanks the oldest one's called Cherry Pie and it's about my granddad and then I'll move onto easy three poems swoop about fingering. I think to be very short ones but this is terry anniversary. It was the first time that my mom was cooled into my school. He said when I was a primary school because we did a thing about healthy eating diet and apparently we have to draw breakfast lunch and dinner for like seven days and I only asked for Yellow Crayon and the teacher asked me why Franklin so because food is yellow and so my mom my dad was called in to talk about this members disliked special home cook in a military pie from my grandparents came down from Scotland and she's lasted and the moment she sliced sliced. My granddad ran to the toyland through so this is about this jerry when my mom's sliced the Cherry Pie I on the table my granddad runoff through. I'm so sorry dad mom said I'm so sorry I forgot. I was nine years old and no idea what happened but where my papa came back he explained to weeks of waiting on the shores of a war beaches rowing boats came to collect them and the only thing there for the soldiers to eat but prepackaged sweet Syrup Cheriton his mates was Shot Dead Cherries were blood red stench of rotting in sweet fruit. He was gagging with each breath. He said war is a sham. We had ice agreements that he said be kind. Revengeful holy believe or you read and don't need cherries and Syrup because stuff. What's your dreams? Thanks it. Thanks do awesome very quick poems for you and I'll do this one so there's a couple about being a teenager. I think they get quiet hard. Do all the time in get blamed for a lot and it's not really political this code Yongqing and it's about the first time one of my friends is to give a boy a hand job and she asked us how to do it and instead of telling it may be Oscar boyfriends which of course my mind about a year ago if I'm GONNA ask instead of asking some of the many boys that we were good friends with school we went and bought a few magazines which are very good at teaching young girl's house. Please boys themselves and we were all of our awesome amazing fourteen year old sexual knowledge together that we've gained from these position of the month magazines uh-huh until it's my friends would say with her boyfriend's penis and she did it and he ended up in hospital so this is about and then I'll I'll make very quickly on to the next to that's the sort of poetry autry waves and don't worry about clapping after X. is in between music and comedy and sometimes people don't know what to do and one person claps and feels like nope I gang apparently up and down did not mean like a lever the night like Ado Zoom cajole stick like a casino slot machine it meant up and down fingers curved around gentle strokes from shafter tip. We only learned this after the Becky had tried the alternative Yanqing motion almost snapped her boyfriend steak. We gathered listened starter back our impose perfume shirts. We stroked her back in hidden. Thank fuck. She tried it. I the next the next for in the next one's arguing in the headmaster's office and then I was very well behaved at school but I always go for my skirt being to you show and it makes me feel sick. This measuring the needs to the filing is if that is the sort of sign of morality and it's the first time I remember argument for teacher at at school and it didn't do any good by arguing in the headmaster's office special the poem. He said he said my skirt was distracting. The lads roll it down legal length bolognaise like none I said some of the boys have trousers so tight I can see the outline of Dixie a still managed to get on with my work sure it wants to finish off. Thank you so much having let me hear this brilliant. This one is called reducing my carbon footprint. Which I thought was primarily this evening I go over environmental poem the Senate lots of things about reducing your carbon footprint and it felt like everything that you could swap this this this this everything's of came down to masturbation in in my head the most carbon-neutral activity so this is about that I just saw everything you investigation and so this is good yeah which is in my carbon footprint for anyone else who cares about the environment as much as I do getting good nicely in the toilet of a pub is better for the planet than Takeaway Coffee Cup just if you wondering what to do at the break and with the cops like in the cafe all right? This is my final one. Thank you very very much. He's his shoulders and it's just dependent. I am about my shoulders because I think I've got very nice shoulders not so it's not all right. My shoulder is fucking delicious smeared with records dirty speckled. Come on jump is always fall off one shoulder flesh to show t-shirt tops name sacrilegious covers of these perched going tackled oval beauties. I know I shouldn't boast about my buddy bombsite board in bad too. It's a fuck it. I Will Brag my shoulders Buddhist fucking delicious. No one's told me it's just the fact thank you very much. They put because incredible wonderful noises for the all over the television these fabulous day incredible this supertuck right. I guess I'm back. I can't get enough off but this time I'm using words instead of music you welcome because I'm what they call in show business a triple threat. Yes I said it because I do music and I do jokes and I will cook you. There's something I've picked up in Motherwell Motherwell hard to say I I wake keep you long. I just wanted to talk with we're here because of human rights and because of feminism and I think feminism it should be an easy idea but he's not not everyone is a feminine so I am a feminist. Obviously thank you and I'm a fan who isn't who isn't isn't good so the thing is feminism means different things to different people. You know really what to tell you. I asked this question at at the Apollo Theater in like thousands of people and I said he's anyone not too feminist and this lady three rows back went me. I'm not which is fine you know no judgment here a just amazed at her confidence to earn not not being a feminist to a female comedian in front of thousands of people on recorded live TV. You know it was astonishing Conrad. You get that level of confidence from I wanted to myself so and then I entered myself from the hundreds of years of work of women fighting on your behalf against the Patriarchy but that's what I suppose that's where you get it from so I want to talk about. I think I've identified four things that make you a feminist. I think I've identified those four things. I'd like to talk to you about those but much like Mike Pence I you don't feel comfortable being in a room with women without a male Chaperon to help me with this bit. Please welcome dish Kumar well on tyrod Reid jumped off and most of my professional life being sast while you I'm now in this section of the show which you have declined to show me the script for it probably be fine so really I suppose I'm using user sort of male Guinea pig rules of feminism okay if you like so. I think the first rule is you believe that men and women are equal so that's the I think the even nations would agree that what do you mean even of course I agree with that. I like the use of the word even in that statement so you are on board with that idea. Yes I describe myself as very much a passenger on that voyage so he's got one out of four the SOFA so the second thing I think is a little bit harder actually and it shouldn't be but it is is the idea that that that equality hasn't been achieved yet because yes men and women should be equal. Women should have more rights but that idea is that happened now so stop harping on about it in your shrill the voice I never mind I keep someone of having a shrill voice. What did not like the size of like all you never set you want me to stop talking and shut up? No that's that's I. I'll say you'll give you a half point on that one. The third one is that you want to do something to make quality happen. It might be a small you might be like signing petition it might be we didn't loads of you might be organizing a huge loss of it but you have to do some. It's not enough to just wish it so. What have you done to help? The feminist cause is not a treatment because he he has done things. He has his things just they went to see Liz. Oh that's a good one trying to make sure that the creative team say behind the master boys gender-power t support accidental were almost exclusively female glendening also trying to cover something. You shouldn't make me feel good good. It's not a trick. You have two things a grace. I think we have to give Nisshin round of applause now. As a shining example doing the absolute Ben Minimum Heterosexual Heterosexual cisgender man in a position of power should do and when you absolutely nailing back Nash really are which brings me to point four to be a feminist which is of course the old despise all men the J. One niche. Obviously that's completely optional. That's obviously not true because you Ramon I suppose news and I despise you despise Nishat at all I think he copes very well. So all in all niche you get a two and a half which is a pass. Is that everyone the feminine I've been ready to receive a wonderful the secret policeman's toll. We're not just funny. We're also incredibly interesting. Our next speaker is a human rights defender you find any of the human rights lying around the floor and I was defending them. Afonso this person will will she is a campaign for human rights and Social Justice human qualities officer at the Mental Health Foundation Mental Breath Full G. O. L. Let's let's let's hope it'll help. Although we should Amal is an ambassador for the Scottish Refugee Council and was honored with a University of Glasgow's world changing number four twenty eighteen. That's right nick bring you any human rights defender Award winning one's a modest collaborated with the UK for several years. I'm will join the Amnesty School Speaker Program this year. She's also known as goes but she'll tell you more about bats the parole good evening folks folks is such an honor and pleasure to be with you all here tonight's Amnesty International is such a big place in our hearts for many reasons and some of them you here tonight so I can't the UK when I was ten years old from Somalia East Africa in the two thousand mom decided that we had to leave Somalia A to basically find a place that safe for us a place where I could go to school and go to university and then go to work and so on and so forth unfortunately we didn't have enough money for my father to come with us so we're just me my mom and she was pregnant with my sister at that time so we left Somalia we arrived in the UK arrived in London and afternoon half in London. My mom had a post the Home Office to see if we could get our own accommodation because we're living with other people at that time and and the said yeah that's fine you can live in the UK but would have to disperse you elsewhere so we'd have to send you somewhere else. Ten minutes twenty minutes from London so we're not too bad. It's not that far ten minutes time two minutes and of course that wasn't the case one into a huge coach came and there were a lot of different families in this coach and I felt like we did a tour of the UK that day because different families who are being dispersed elsewhere in different places and my mom get off so my mom didn't speak any English at that time so she said a mark new going speaks the bus driver and see for getting off anytime soon said yeah of course no both are aspects of the bus driver and I said excuse me Sir as my family getting off anytime soon and he's like your last and I was like right right. We're we're last okay where we're getting off and he's like oh Glasgow and I was like I'm sorry watt and he's like you know Glasgow and I was like no now I don't know classical and he's like Scotland and I was like oh my goodness where Scotland and he's like just back down always I didn't have this accident back then but you know just so rafting Glasgow the year two thousand and one I started from chapel highschool and then in the year two thousand and enforce our family received refugee status which basically meant that the government believes our story out were allowed to stay in the UK for as long as we wanted and are still remember. Get that piece of paper that day because I knew that that piece of paper meant that me and my family we're safe or secure. I got to school after that can go to union my mom could work and so on and so so forth but my other friends were still waiting for that piece of paper but we still need with life into in five. Something else happened that changed my life forever. Whatever I was fifteen years old one of my school friends who was also fifteen was rated and detained basically fourteen Home Office immigration officers I went to flats handcuffed? Father detained the family and send them to a detention center in England called yards and lock them up like criminals for three weeks wchs now nobody chooses to be an asylum-seeker. Nobody choicest fear refugee. Nobody chooses to leave their family. Their loved ones the the weather for no reason. Don't get me wrong the best thing to happen to me. My family was to come to Scotland. Come to Glasgow the the Home Office. Obviously regrets it now but you know we're so when my friend was detained have to do something this is not right children. A specially should not be treated like that innocent. Human beings should not be treated like the next thing I knew I was on the newspapers on the TV and myself myself and six other girls from our school became known as the gloss girl it makes later our friend Dick Nestle was released from detention after much campaign in not just for months spot from everyone in the community. Everyone came together from all walks of life to say the actually this is our family. They're human beings. They're people before they are era. Fiji's don't use those labels against them so thankfully they were released have refugee status. They're happy living in classical but we were not successful full and I guess that's what makes our story too is that we don't win every time but actually we have to keep going because if we don't stand up for what's right then who will and that's encouraged me to stand up for us right into continue campaigning for others and it reminds me of a family visiting Kelly who were just sitting because of Os happening in Syria and many other countries in the world but the people that I will also never forget unaccompanied children that were without their families. Please and this is what I'm hoping you can make a difference in tonight's there are so many children in the UK who cannot reunite with their families families because of the UK immigration policies if there's a refugee family here who have their asylum case approved they can reunite with their children however ever if there's a refugee child who's also been accepted that child cannot reunite with their family which does not make any sense a lot of the country country our neighbors to the UK have said actually reuniting families together have not met the numbers will grow up or anything like that what it meant that people arena with their people children were not with the families. I mean think of you yourself. How can you thrive without your family? You know so there are three things are asking tonight and three things that you can help me with an north not asking for money you can keep up so one of the things is child refugees with have the the right to sponsor their close family members to come to the UK so that they can rebuild their lives together. Second part is that young people who have turned eighteen and elderly parents would also be able to live in safety with their families here lastly refugees who have lost everything could access legal aid eight help them navigate the complicated process of being reunited with their families so by signing Amnesty International's petition you can help Earth Home Office secretary principal tell to challenge the rules and help reunite more people with their families in the UK. All all you need to do is text together plus your name to seven zero five zero five and saying help unite families. Thank you so much for your time. Thank you for coming tonight and enjoy the rest of it. Thank you so much the lose that's the that's for a young person like that not just to say on all right pula letter up chat atkins she got in and became one of the Glasgow girls and then went onto marry George Clooney what an absolutely amazing now is the time for our home home secretary to listen and seize the opportunity to make a lasting difference to the lives of refugees in the UK children need their parents by signing Xining amnesties petition you can urge the Home Secretary to change the rules and reunite more refugee families in the UK text together plus your name two seven. Oh five or five so I would text together Deborah two seven. Oh five zero five please note Amnesty International Law so Cornu Cornu about ways to support their amazing and life saving work including fundraising text no call one word two seven Oh five oh five to opt out for details see amnesty dot org slash. Sms Tom's it is a wonderful wonderful act. You'll know him for the television but he is absolute fridge legend in favorite. It's so wonderful thank you O. Here he is creepy as a luke by north go we are. I've been told that guy always see the job but he's never working a allegra. D vetoed a Likley so strange that you just don't Ross last week came to the French. I'm looking forward to being over just because I've not seen my moment amazing moment so much so these boys suicide he's wheelchair wheelchair poor. She's very poor. She's a poor scored. Sushi talks like this go to pour scorn talked before it is linked to my mom's owens sounds like a wheel of those polls people that don't seem to have any balloons glading through through I'm so poor. She's got double borrow subway subway but she's pushing off the second part of it is silent. I love her off the hell off something easy because when we lawf- WE'RE GONNA the goal was house through mom gives you one and then Hor voice is extraordinarily is just she's so easy to find a party fairies coming in so as as he got a few house froth should be I can never find my mom at the supermarket. I've only ever seen one Paschall CEO offers a few times highs. Come take up. Maybe quickly my aches letting go fuck it hail. Mary like like Omega to take power since I went from break-up few months ago. I'm really good since my always a up your staff myself after break-up Larry New to do. They're going to go to the supermarket. I'M GONNA buy some food AMIS employing two. I was going to guide for a whale day. Oh Oh you guys just because I feel like getting to see. I'm gave talk with some audience members of funky. Why did you tell us that you're gay to tell your motel tale in the a warning? There's nothing scary Gig lies region because you good who's a shrine going for a while north going north what's going lump them a loss and his name was luke still looking revenge lab lake because I was the organized one of the relationship because most relationships are made up of an organized one on a disorganized wood and the reason why they get together as organized people people look at organized ones when he foresees them in a lake. Wow they're so elite back. They must have everything organized. He's a name you lie to yourself for a few months. You'll be like Oh gosh and a couple of months passes and not smokescreen leaves you very quickly and you're just going heavier. You not dead yet. The point is to lead. I wonder if I should break aecom Rico by thought they'd be organized is but another disorganized but I'm the only organized accompanied with them. I've made plans is bull. So that's what happened. He he broke up with me which annoying baseness have got to realize you knew all my mom is my best friend and also meet saw ah yes the gas. Hr House broken. He's been very comforting because he's southern Irish person unless I liberty accent here when you're going through such I love the accent is so nicest software because you don't talk Northern Irish person when you're going through because I was comforting at all is it. Are you thinking break-up spot. What would I do with this car? We wonder if you can do it for you. Don't worry that I've noticed is Northern Irish people but the difference with the accent is Northern Irish. People people do not move their winner talking. I think it's because they think English may be reading southern. Irish accent is locally because basically to do with the southern Irish accent all you need to do with songs. If you're walking down the stairs Geez. It's something you gotta go by a couple of games and we'll meet Sarah has been giving me of H. And the reason why schools are by the way is is half Irish coffees really that guy loves or he's been giving me the cliches cliches knowing the base that they say the cliches did could away meal. I thought it was so stupid because he goes Larry. Remember break-up is a lot like bereavement. I think a breakouts loss of bereavement migrant did not die so she could fuck talk over people. You've been obviously lovely. I'll be. CC Blooms anybody making the most of the number Oh yeah yeah I liked the Glasgow gay balls but a bit more intimidating amid eating this clause. If you drop your phone and you're just GONNA have to Kit who aw great lineup eighty avid lobbied enjoy also jail the Scottish where where in Scotland look how does now if the sketch written today today it would be called the oppression Olympics because it is about four men outdoing each of them so what kind of man I hear you US Yorkshiremen and we just thought together backstage and we thought who's had even harder older than Yorkshiremen and the also he came up with was different Ed's Oh oh ooh very possible not bothered zone. Nothing like a good gloss shuttle the away I Mrs Joe Zion Yeah Round Talia you ooh forty years ago that we'd be sitting here. Drinking shocked owed the shots. I would've been glad of the price of a corporate head cold same without milk or sugar a our core. Ah We never out of we used to drink out of a role do the best we could monitor dumped well. Yeah no doubt way back doc pay all lovely were Paul Vic sway where Paul I I know my mom used to say to me. Money won't bring in your happiness our luck she barack our aqua then and I had nothing we used to live in a tiny tumbled donald out with great olds golden roof. You will look eat out. We live in a sixty-two Edinburgh fringe venue. The snow furniture was missing in one quarter review from the Foxman as as embroiled friends report report well you own fads adding of on debts. I used to dream of living under tip bad in a Labor world that would have been a policy to us. We live we used to live in the men's toilets of a nightclub and we got work by having a load of locker room. Talk dumped on US labor walled house well when I say house I mean we're on the ground covered by canvas but we're now to all we are all in the ground. We had to go and live back inside. Do Woo ooh yeah ah can now uh hey move on blitzer live and nine. I'd say as Tom the video love soup a-plus you will look kate way lived for three months in the gender pay gap in every mon and we'd have to get put six clean out the gap each across the stale bread then we'd have to go work forty eighteen hours a day in day out for half the wage the member gets it and they were all on paid internships and when age come home the the Patriarchy would rashes to sleep with its faintness look sure we we used to get three clean the inside of a handful of hot gravel and we work in mill for twenty two super some of the McColl and the GOP would beat us about the head and neck with a kind of late suffering. We will look at have silence like way had God. I wish I got our ball ned time per atm usage set and wash. How's play a AH calm? grabble would what pray for Japan's for years and we'll pay K. It says now was a coal yard about four hours right. We used to get in the morning and half past ten at night. After now before we go to bed of low cab. You'll oh good free weight watchers all round poison work twenty nine hours a day at mill for half any lifetime chrome and each night the Patriarchy would call slit our throats with a shot from the glass ceiling Berry in historical obscure thing the try and sell to the young people of today. Will they believe you route one actual. You'll she wanted. Let you see you don't say don't give value for money now. All you ready to hear the answer to the question posed out of the hat and source of red by Afonso then you will need to join me and cropping Ohio making incredible woohoo and noise does the one the only the amazing stay so oh. How can you experience or if you're G camp without having to actually go into one well short answer Glastonbury when I lived in the jungle all British volunteers who came said that this is just like black and be but without the band's well some might say this was incredibly tactless but they meant twelve they most of them were from public school students so I guess what they were trying to say as I don't feel so bad we've got one just like this? They could have been trying to get on maidens Chelsea so they were one of which is more than you've done when I finally managed to get to the UK after escaping a war zone and crossing the continental snow in fruits and crossing the Dinghy and working as a firefighter in refugee calm intrigued by this last week and I wanted to go so bad it but last year it wasn't not just my luck this year though I said less than bree I'm here for you but guess what sold out that was my I knew that it's not like Kelly jungle because because because refugee camp is never sold out and there was no vip tickets there were backstage passes but you don't want them being refugee that I am I don't let little things stand in my way like Novica papers so I did what every self respecting refugee were doing a crisis. I found a guy who knows a guy knows a guy. Now you know out how to use somebody else's thicket Glastonbury so I had to use my refugee experience of being muscle guys and pretend and to be a man called Ali season. I didn't look exactly I always sit in vascular photo so I had to practice to perfect my English accent so I I don't get caught. Only thing I knew about all the season from his name on the that was definitely English when you are being being pushed as a refugee you learn to say as little as possible. British people always want to over explain and make excuses apologize even before they found out oh sorry I've my friends stick it and he's got my ticket and he's already going in. What am I like so sorry comparising? You can't do that when you're refugee. You'll get deported. You answer the question and give us little information as possible. Never tell any lies that you don't have to so. I've practiced my English accent. Only seton listen only seen only season because they are only going to ask you what's your name and they must probably asked me. Do you have any other ideal L. Something practice no on me on me on me. What the charm I was through the gates and I was inside no problems when I go in? I have to admit it was exactly like a refugee camp however there are some fundamental on demento differences between classes and the refugee camp number one British people don't know how to operate the piece of equipment that we in the refugee business call the tint next time I go. I'm going to be offering tutorials for people to erect their tents in under three minutes and also how to run away from the police ace while they are inside the tent behind the second fundamental difference between glossary and a refugee camp is the loose in Kelly lose. We're never that that British people have to say Your Festival lose off frankly disgusting shameful. We would have clean them. Why are you doing and the little MIC Riddick lost British? People Kelly was never that buds refugees was worried to be judged. Why aren't you the final the reason Kellyanne is not like being Leslie? Is that in Kelly I never complained. I was moaning non stopping last week I was going. How are we doing hit walk? How far more do we need to from this? I was like I won't across the continent to get here and then I was like the Rosa isn't cold enough. There were times there were tons of hutch eat snow because I didn't have voter. What have you done to me? I'm so and it's your fault. British people have even named the injuries after privilege. I've got tennis elbow. My my name's Ali seasons. I've run a marathon for charity. My Name's only seat and I've got athletes. I I've got millionaires. Why migraines off my head hurts before because I've been counting on my money? My Name's Ali season my verdict. You complain when you when you don't have to come but when you do your own with it you can never really pretend to be in the refugee camp having said that Uh Scotland you might have to have some refugee camps at some point soon when brexit happened and you dependent and rejoined the you might get English people up and broke scapin hunt at borders and saying no on me my Karolyi seasons. He's one of my favorite people. Thanks for my special people. If you enjoyed Steve Valley's perspective there's a forty episodes of grow up land on BBC sounds Steve who says you need to make comedy out of it because if you make comedy out of it then people can take and their armored comes off but also I think Steve says that because when he first moved in with us he had never done comedy and when I went back to Kelly and I met volunteers back there they'd say oh Steve Alleys living in your spirit what's he doing and I'd say comedy and make go Steve Steve Allee the five hundred guy no he's very serious and quiet and I was like no. He's doing comedy now and one day I said to him which you like to do an Improv class because our friends were doing improv classes and he said I think it'd be very good at it but I think should do it because of my situation I said what's your situation Steve. He went live with you so I have to do comedy. That's the opportunities being offered and I'm GonNa Refugees. That's what I said if you journalists lined be writing for the comedy so that's what I do now. I'M GONNA send my goddess like avoidable family in the eighteen hundreds to go round but child is born in the voidable trunk and there has to pop out and do an act ring fascinating to me say that one thing that I've really noticed refugees you ask them. Would you like to do this. I said I can say anything to save wise the nervousness. You've never done this before he went aw from it and he said so many of the things that I've had to do I can die from so not anything I can't die from show because of my situation losing your human rights and getting them back again. You can feel the shift. I actually remember the day that Steve got his papers. He had to go to Boston to get them. He didn't know that it was definitely going to be them He. He said he thought it was an I thought probably wasn't it was just a letter from the Home Office and I was trying to lower his expectations and say maybe it's not that maybe it's just let it feel it my papers it's my papers purpose and then he was on the National Express back from Bolton because he hadn't suffered enough and and I texted him and I was like well aw and he takes the back. Unfortunately I'm going to be living longer because I got my papers. He fucking x factor judges houses me and then he said I just don't know how to feel about it. Though 'cause it's like every bad thing that's ever happened to me is falling off the side of this page and he said I can't believe like I've now got the refer six years. I haven't had the right to a doctor. I've had the right to a lawyer. There's been not one patch of ground in the whole world where it's been legal for me to breathe the air six years. There's been no on the planet that I could live. The world was going to die and he said I don't know how to feel. I just feel numb and I said well Steve The human brain is a lot like the Home Office. It takes a while to process things aw it's just made me acutely aware what it means to lose your rights and that's really it Steve. That's made me connect with Amnesty International because I didn't really think about it before cool and now I think you can lose them. Anything you value anything that you love is a bright and it can be taken away can be lost so we must fight for them. I'm now and we must like for other people who've lost them because we are going to. Maybe need someone to fight for us so we promised we would get back to climate change amnesty. Does he feel that oxygen is very much a human right and water not living below it a human right so it's really really important that we focus on climate change right now because we are running out of time so to discuss this this and make it fun what you're thinking. Can we get back to the bit with Jerry. Girls Surprise Terry heads talk about climate change naked a cough let touchable but Sweetie Social Monica Jackson Jamie Lee O'Donnell and school strike brought. It is clearly hello everybody such just to introduce you as not your characters are Social Jackson Aaron Cheval McSweeney replace of my Nikola coughlan who plays Jamie Leah Donald Who Plays Michelle Warren who was a real life student student here in Edinburgh she just graduated from secondary school and she is one of the Friday strikers for climate change. Can you tell us a little bit about what the global strike is yeah so the global strike started by Greg L. Mark who at the time was fifteen and she decided the her her education wouldn't matter and wouldn't be important if we didn't have a future so a year later it's been a year since the first strikes millions and millions of silicates have skipped school on Fridays took voice across we need action for the climate crisis basis and we need it now and what's happening on the twenty seven. It's a nice Google strike so instead of SCO children's striking scale which we will still be doing. We're inviting adults grandparents everyone from every generation innovations come and join us to show that we all together. We won't change amazing convenient so I'm really going to hand this over to the amazing cost of dairy girls who we have here Sertucha do you you have any questions for Ana. Obviously we get on a lot of trouble are characters and dairy gears with sister Michael. Hoy has your school been with your absence with the strikes. Thanks so personally wasn't too bad about it. I did posters taken down but we back up. We we have heard of a lot of people who have had problems one. There was one scenario in England where everyone who skipped school and five days to strike gobind from going to their prom chrome so it has been quite strict for some people and some people have like software quite turn them. What do they do it anyway no or they did anyway? I mean I think really takes a stunned says fine. Stop US going to a dance wants is just as important as being able to breathe in and out in twelve years. There's no point in having a problem if there's no oxygen and the prom it's kind of defeats the purpose of Johnson them their border. It's true it's true. It's just you know I think what Greenwich doing is incredible because she's just going. Can you not see the buildings on fire. Someone pulled the fire alarm. It's seventy five floors getting hotter and everyone's going which sheldon any that's how I saw speaking actresses. That's how she feels. You just just like why is it not running around. The scientists have said it's an emergency such I mean they do. You have any questions final yeah so you've been doing this year. It's not right and I'm just wondering you say skulking Donald Dewey thank. This has actually working. Do you fail it. There's a change since the start of the year. I feel like yeah if you had said this year that would be millions of kids striking off school because they don't government to doing people would have in your face so so in that sense yes is made a massive change and it's made a massive change in the way the people lessons to youth voices as well but more needs to be win. No no way what we've got as far as we should have done like I'll government has declared emergency but they've done absolutely nothing since then so we are in going in the right direction but no we're not far enough yeah okay but now she you need support. It's not enough. I think so many people say oh let the children do it. I here all the time the next generation Social Pankhurst guns I mean the girls see very clear that they want to vote short al organize it just so you know what I mean. If Martin Luther King had gone that fourteen year old he's probably quite keen extrordinary that we're sort of leaving it to you you so it's great that you're now saying no come join us and it works as well as get everybody else to join an Chaban yes. Do you have any questions. It's interesting that you said that rebels like Martin Luther King Go. I'm sure a fourteen year old person will have a dream just continue but I I personally am waiting for the young people source it out. That's my that's my pension that is literally what I'm planning my nieces and nephews we'll source it out for me. Why is this I mean I probably never mentioned? You probably don't know this about me. Both involved lived in the abortion rights campaign in Northern Ireland where we can teach creeds decriminalize breasts up all evening my I apologize on behalf of my breasts again. Ah The repeal movement in the republic even though there have been so many people for generations and for decades who've been working working towards this moment many many many many people it was very much a grassroots young woman led movement and I started to see the same in the north and what is it. Do you think about your generation. That's so fucking amazing that we couldn't get the job done a decade geico. Is it just social media. Can you just call each other quakers. There's amazing organizers are are you learning from other people's full not my only semaphore semaphore. We'd start bonfires semaphore. I think thank things I definitely do help. I think we're just sick of being told the our opinions don't matter that were too young then we didn't have to wait. I think we've seen so many great. The people greater there were so many activists around the world who are standing up and seeing other people do it has really motivated the rest of our scalp and do the same and and say actually no we must have just as much on a ought the to be fair as well like you're going to be here and a lot of people are going to be dead and they don't care assuming that we give twelve years last album and six so guys. You know what I mean by. How much you I like your characters not a totally token opposite four Japanese man? You'll probably Scott Hanson awesome now. I think it's partly urgency. Actually I think if when I was at school someone I'm GonNa say you got twelve years to slay climate change or it's unsolvable. I probably would've taken a Friday off but when I was at school we what firstly we weren't told about. I mean there was a little bit about Oh. Stop Using Deodorant Niccolo up say I wanted to ask you because I really embarrassing recently only realize what the impact at the fast fashion I really was not aware that a toll it was blind slot for me and I think for a lot of people but just basic practical changes that we all not could make I we all actually really need to make them now. What do you think are like the things that we could take away from here and implement? What can we do say and I think some of the main things are just released? Mood changes changes to your diet switching Washington more plant based things we're talking about meat free Mondays. That's good but it does need to be also things I mike selling your once. You're done with reusing them swapping them stuff like that instead of constantly consuming more and more. I'm reading about charity shops. Actually that was interesting. Yes so obviously that's a really good thing but sometimes they don't have enough stories. They don't have the money and stuff like that to keep them on so sometimes they do end thrown them out and was a really good answer suitable for as to send them to refugee camps and stuff like that where we know that the people will use them. We'll need them. I said to backstage. We need to make sure we say if they're suitable. Because last time I was out and Kelly they pulled out ah back a sexy center and psalmist dress and they went. You can't give this to a refugee they want like a sexy Santa Coach and they said the way to say that if it was it's a sexy bee costume and I said what you're doing with it and one of the volunteers went I took the climate council on the guilty feminist and she said the three things that you can do individually no one really wants to do one is plot based on and she's like making just enough. She said if you can go for gin if you can do as as much plot based as you can. Do I need to eat meat now. Do I really need something and try and have that to fall. If we all do eighty percent of the right things eighty percent of the time that would make a huge shift the other thing she said was flies little as you can't just think all different you've and the other one was don't have children that was the most controversial Russia want amongst the audience but Chaban who says you haven't had a child today not today her baby say nine once more on today's nearly overnight and that's a whole day that I haven't had a child so she's that base fucking equal warrior doing this. If I was like mom you couldn't say one sensible things. I don't know what we told them. We make fun just think about this mood changes that aren't GonNa make a massive difference sprint to you but in the long run will make difference and also if you can please please come along to Australia on the twentieth happening in most vacancies places to so look up online. UK Essien and it has thing will locations and if you can come along into amazing set the table strike UK sem all to find out what's happening in your and what is it ten bucks and in the meantime a big huge out of the pros the Sasha Jackson rob thanks. The shooter is serious POPs. I sometimes I think we've got to get on the same page. We don't really really always speak the same language you think you talking to somebody and you think you're on the same page but you're not and tonight is a night when we're going to get on the same page because I think the more we're all rubbing in the same direction. The more likely we reach our destination example example last night true story I was in a pub and I was trying to explain to this man who was quite harsh to be fan and the protests and marches can work and objecting come. What can I say for example like period poverty? Take a step. We did this big march amazing woman amateur and she was still at school she identified that period poverty was a problem she told Pink Protests Stolac Curtis and her gang. They told me any guilty from the split out there. We all got together. We all marked Westminster we all approaches loads of Tina's came out and guess what we've changed the law Ah for goals this is absolutely incredible and it's still a problem in other ways is because people can't afford them at home etcetera but that's really significant for seventeen year old together an army and for everyone everyone we've changed it on us. We we must paired in poverty and it works and this was a problem now is it occurred policy. It's not really a problem now period poverty. I remember it is that's the point. It was a big problem it. He's a problem in many ways and I said this is what he said. I think you should have been macho participation useful and I said but I don't understand why that's uh-huh period public teams by definition in the post period drama. Yeah I mean he was an actor so it's not for me. Seriously that happened puppets put out going close fake instead because wet people out of selling saying whereas love breath. That's what we've been doing that we have painting against the closing of all finishes nineteen hundred full fucking fucking time just to make him understand which we've administration. WHO's backed up very quietly? Come here to talk about tampons. Opponents really came home for a cheeky Hof. I mean I'm sure he was very nice man. He wasn't the everyone gets whipped up. When you come to this kind of event like right now you feel like doing something but then the next day happens and you know so you're hung over Alfonso and you've got a job to do? You've got all sorts going on and you don't so what we thought is. We want a secret policeman. I'm an activity that we can do regularly together so we came up with something called truth to power our and this happens regularly on Fridays Brian Days and we all come together for just one hour between three and four o'clock and obviously if you do it a bit before that after that it doesn't matter it's more the idea that we're going to get something trending push. We speak directly to the people who can do something so we might at the Home Secretary we might act Bolsonaro for example. We say hey this is what we want and suddenly that force gets loads of tweets at the same time or amnesty have some kind of joint email that if you click through they will send the email for you or you can sign the petition as anything Oh God how many partitions sounded really do anything but it does because if you've got a certain amount of signatures that it has to be discussed in the House of Commons we have all sorts of ways. If we are busy we can plugged honesty who worked out how speak truth to power so what you need you to do is follow amnesty on twitter at I'm UK and it's the same on instagram. I think now what you'll find is at amnesty. UK on Fridays were you will go there and you will find a truth to power our tweet which will be pinned now. What you're going to do is read the urgent action you make a video you make forty five second video or you can share a message of solidarity and you can get your followers to do the same now? This is really the trick so far is power going really well but we need you don't just have solidarity and tweet the Hustle that we've tried to tweet who's powerful but to get other people speak truth to power because that's when it will go out so you now have to ambassador as well. You have to say hey everyone. Can you help me do this because that's when we're really going to get lots and lots of people doing already already. We've found the Lord we've just started doing it without much at all and we found it works so for example they will women in Saudi Arabia who campaigns that women should be allowed to drive and eventually they campaign so well. Guess what women can drive in Saudi Arabia they changed the law Hurrah Fox what happened to the women campaign to make an example of them and say Oh we don't want more people asking for more things than prison those women and he does not nice to be in a Saudi Arabian Arabian prison like bad bad things have happened to them so we got together on truth to power to directly tweet Saudi Arabia and sent emails to Saudi Arabia. Let's say we don't want this. We won't stand for this not okay and would you be impressed. If I told you that we have reached a million people with actress para aw would you be impressed will be really impressed when I tell you that it reached twenty six point three papal twenty take three million. That's incredible. That's really incredible so we need you to get involved in power. Go there on Fridays. See what's happening and tell other the people and it's one really simple way. God what can I do. I hate being aware of things that dot com turning them. I get really frustrated. This is a really simple way that you feel you actually can be involved in something in greater than yourself where we only have one more incredible act. Put what your hands together the it's fantastic to be here me and we aren't going to sing a song by our absolute hero. The legendary Victoria Wood free freed around Barry South One night. The Sky was sleet snow. The wind was soft. The mood loser drained CO CO CO chief felt supply. She which still godless question Time Barry cringed in fear and dread as free these answer Let's do. Let's do it and do it while the mood is right. I'm feeling up. I'm on fire with a male voice. That's ED account too much discussion passionate Joneses into Novice Secrecy Episode conto account so she said let's. Let's go creative. It's it's funny is host to an IT heavy breathing days and feel colder. It's other things it's boring logo going flooring himself said let's let's do it had a crazy night of oustrip. I'll start on the job and a due account for me to dungle angle my altered sheltered holding Sharon while Romance Sir Frenetically no caution caution caution. Let's to do taught do around the house. I've got auto parts. Let's do they get drastic gymnastics last week. You Ed what do dress. I feel silly. We don't we don't choose me. Don't use me you must excuse me Uh let's J. Thank the Great. Let's do. Let's just watches. She's not make maybe on the go eh the AH punk breath get involved with truth to power follow at Amnesty. UK and and get ready to take action at three PM on Fridays. Today's action is to support the climate strikes on the twentieth of September police get involved if you would like to become part of the the movement and joined Amnesty International UK please visit Amnesty Dot Org dot UK Ford slash join if you would like to donate to help protect human rights around the world. It's Amnesty Dot Org Dot U. K. Ford Slash donate it. The and one of the boys says we just went B.'s inherently sexy because they're saving the planet. Do Doc knowing phone support. You cannot wait steak now. No no no. I think the message is don't Ebay but you can to be off messages on my right debate. He's ready to be let the beast ride the plant's. That's what it is the base ride flowers and not scoot. That's what I thought Phoebe note so so just to be very clear now. We climate the council on the on the