7 Episode results for "Daniel Henderson"
Rock Bottom: Have You Hit It & Where Do You Go From There?
"Hey everybody welcome to the addiction unlimited podcast where you get to learn everything you want to know about addiction and recovery. I'm your host Angela Pugh co-founder of Kansas City recovery life life coach and recovering alcoholic to learn more about me. You can listen to episodes zero on your podcast APP or find us on the web at addiction unlimited dot com. Hey everybody welcome to the addiction unlimited podcast. I'm your host Angela Pugh. Thank you for spending some time with me today listening to the POD. I hope you're having a fantastic week. This week has been a busy one for me and a little later in this episode I want to catch you up on everything <unk> happening in my world and all the great things I have coming up for you. I know some of you are finding yourself in a spot that is super uncomfortable and stressful feeling like a failure wondering if you're ever going to able to figure out this sobriety thing and I remember being in that exact same position I even in my most unhealthy times I actually believed that I was defective like broken beyond repair and and my connection to alcohol literally made no sense. I couldn't grasp why I kept doing it. Even though I was watching it destroy my life I was watching myself deteriorate and <unk>. I felt powerless like I just didn't know what the hell to do. No matter how much I hated alcohol and I really hated alcohol like the last couple of years of my drinking I hated it. I was so resentful because I felt like it had this total power and control over me and I couldn't stop it in even with all that resentment is still kept on drinking and I'm talking about this for two reasons one because I'm always trying to come up with new ways that I can serve you and can help you with good information and habits to build and a community full of support so you know you aren't alone and I have some really exciting things. I'm working on that. You're going to love and to because today's topic is rock rock bottom. Have you hit it. And where do you go from there. In rock bottom is like this figurative place we hit that signals. It's time to make a change right. It's usually very uncomfortable and unexpected and and and it's different for everybody. I don't ever want you to get hung up on thinking that rock bottom has to be some crazy dramatic event like mine was there are millions of people in the world who have a rock bottom moment moment that didn't land them in the hospital jail and I think we put so much weight on the term rock bottom that you start to think it's only rock bottom. If it's hugely dramatic or life threatening you know some some sort of crazy extravaganza and that is just simply not the case. You know one of my favorite rock bottom stories is my friend Jen couch. <hes> jen couch has sober cysts and she did a podcast with me. She's episode Oh twenty nine. If you want to check that one out that JEN has this really beautiful story of a family live being married raising kids a beautiful home full live she's active and for all intents intents and purposes. She's happy right in the midst of the sort of American dream story. She noticed that she was drinking more than she was comfortable with and she didn't feel good about it. She felt this huge like distance in her life like her words didn't match her actions like during the day she was doing yoga and eating healthy and drinking those dreaded green vegetable protein gene shakes and she was living a life she was proud of <hes> setting a healthy example for her family and friends and at night she was manipulating her time and feelings with wine right overdrinking feeling really crappy crappy the next morning where she would go right back into painting the picture of the happy healthy yoga mom. She didn't fall apart. She didn't get a D._U._i.. She didn't get in trouble with her husband. Her family didn't do an intervention on her her. There was no drama or chaos Jin hit her rock bottom moment she recognized. She wasn't proud of the choices she was making and she wasn't comfortable with how prominent alcohol had become in her. Life and she wanted to be better. That's it and I love talking about that too. How prominent alcohol had become in her life because for me? You guys have heard me talk about my story where like the very beginning of me realizing leising. I had a problem with alcohol was realizing my relationship with alcohol was different in realizing that it sat front and center in my life more so than it did for my friends right. I just knew my relationship with alcohol was different and what I want to focus on for a minute on that part I said about not being proud of the choices she was making is remember the episode about poking the bear. The bear is my alcoholism and as long as I'm sober he's in hibernation and I want him to stay in hibernation in anything I do that. I'm not proud of is poking that bear in tempting him to wake up right alcohol alcohol needs you to feel bad about yourself. It's the only way it can thrive and maintain control. When you feel bad about yourself it gives the committee in your head all that ammunition to kick your anxiety into full gear and talk trash to you all day long about how bad you are in how weak you are and what about parent you are and what about spouse you are and what about employee employee you are and you can't even keep your house clean and you can't get dinner on the table or whatever all of those things as long as the committee has all that ammunition to use against you you will want to drink drink because inactive addiction alcohol is the solution to quiet the committee in squash the anxiety the committee causes alcohol is the coping mechanism? You have used for so long so you see it as the solution Lucien when really it's totally the problem so it's so important to get this at its core level. That's why just quitting drinking will never work because just quitting drinking doesn't make the committee shut the F. Up. It's the core issues we have to focus on. We have to change what the committee is talking about. So it's positive in supportive instead of vicious and defeating you have to take actions every single day that you are proud of so you feel good about yourself and what you are doing and how you are living because when you feel good that bear has nothing to feed on you'll never get rid of the committee that ongoing self talk is just a part of life and it's something that everyone has people with compulsions and self esteem issues. Take it to a new level like we do everything else but it's just a part of life so don't be mad at the committee just put at some good time and energy into giving the committee new information to talk about instead of giving it ammunition to use against you. I loved that Jen recognized that she wasn't proud of her choices is an she wanted to do better in that literally was her rock bottom and I'm not saying that it was all rainbows and UNICORNS right like I'm sure she had embarrassing moments. Just like any drunk person does in I'm sure there were disagreements with her husband or whatever that that may have looked like for her but the point is she didn't ride the rock bottom train all the way to the bottom of the abyss right like she got off the train pain before it reeked too much havoc in her life and that's an option for everyone. You can get off the train whenever you want. Your rock bottom doesn't have to end like mine covered in blood face all busted up getting ready to go to jail right eight. That doesn't have to be your story. I hear people a lot talk about going to a and feeling like they don't fit or like everyone in the room is worse than them because their story isn't dramatic right the truth is it doesn't no matter what the details of your story are and it will not serve you well to sit in a meeting and pick out all the ways you are different from everyone and how you don't fit right. That's just giving the committee more ammunition to use. He's against you so it can tell you don't belong you. Don't fit here either. You are separate from these people then it can keep you isolated and alone in the bear has more discomfort to feed on instead. You understand that the details of our stories are not the important part and that's not what brings us together what connects us is our feelings about what we are doing. It's the feeling of being defeated by alcohol. It's feeling worthless and out of control. It's feeling as if you hate yourself because you can't figure this thing out and feeling like your piece of Shit for what you're putting putting your family through those feelings are what bring us together not the details you may get to that place of desperation in defeat from having a few glasses of wine at night and feeling groggy in the morning for me. It was more chaotic. It doesn't mean that my alcoholism was worse than yours or that. We aren't the same maybe you didn't need to sit in jail and feel like the biggest loser on the planet to sink low enough to make a change but I did. Maybe you look into the perfect little faces of your children in recognize that you WanNa be better you WanNa be the parent they deserve and the parent they long for to teach them and guide them to play with them and teach them healthy and strong self esteem so they don't turn to substance to feel better. Your rock bottom can be just that simple so once you hit rock bottom. Where do you go from there? The first thing I would say is get a good solid commitment from yourself. I mean decide to change. Don't try don't decide you're going to change until it's uncomfortable or until it gets hard but decide for for real that you are doing this no matter what that's one of the most important pieces when I quit drinking and I truly believe this is a big piece of my success in sobriety when I quit drinking I quit drinking was not an option for me. No matter how badly I felt it was off the table. If a thought of drinking popped into my head I would immediately say yeah but we don't drink anymore. I'm not drinking anymore. I gotTA figure out a different way. That's not how we do it anymore. I committed I decided for real. I committed to that decision. You could not have paid me a million dollars to drink. Alcohol literally tried to kill me and you guys have heard me say this before. I really like you but if you tried to kill me I wouldn't hang out with you anymore. So why would I continue to hang out with alcohol so for me. That's just how it made sense right so start there get. It's a really good solid commitment from yourself and understand that it is going to be uncomfortable understand. It is irritating. Sometimes you're GONNA hate it and that's okay right. None of us have ever died from being uncomfortable. You can get through uncomfortable. I think we don't challenge ourselves enough. That's a big big big piece of this to in relapse like it's like we WANNA fall apart under the pressure of anxiety and discomfort and boredom. We just WANNA crumble under that pressure. The truth is you are perfectly capable of handling that stuff you just gotTa tell the committee to take a hike. You've you've got to step in and know that there are solutions and be willing to find those solutions and act on them and get through that discomfort right. That's what being committed to a decision is really about once you have that real decision decision that real commitment then get my recovery recipe because it's literally a step by step guide as to how to start making the most simple changes totally fast and easy to give the committee new things to talk about. Honestly it's so simple it's kind of ridiculous and it doesn't have to be super time consuming either. It's not a pain in the ass but this is your guide. If you WANNA feel better fast. If you want the committee to stop beating you down down all day every day then you'll be willing to follow some simple instructions so you'll feel better in this is the first test really to see how committed you are and how solid your decision is. Are you willing to follow simple guidance science in do something that will help you or is the committee already making excuses as to why you don't need something like this is the committee telling you you can figure it out on your own or you can get the recovery recipe later when you know you will probably. Forget like you don't have to take action now. You can do it later or maybe you got my recovery recipe and you never even opened it or try to use it. You guys this is your alcoholism talking. It needs you due to stay the same and not take action so it can remain in control. The bear needs to eat and if you take action and do something to make yourself feel better than he can't eat. So of course. He's going to tell l. you to not do it. Of course he's going to tell you to wait until later. You don't have time right now or whatever the excuse is. This is how he talks you out of going to meetings or gets you to not look for a new job when you one or gets you to not work out when you really want to and he gets you to continue eating shitty even when you WanNa do better the bear is trying to maintain control and the hardest part of this is recognizing when he's talking shit to try to sabotage you in then doing the thing he's trying to talk you out of because you've made a decision to do better to be better. Try Harder in accomplish what you want tell hell the committee and that bear to sit down and shut the F. up because you are taking over now then go get the damn recovery recipe start taking simple actions to rebuild yourself and be proud of who oh you are and you can get an addiction limited dot com forward slash recovery recipe. It's totally free so don't think I'm trying to talk you into buying anything. It's absolutely free and again. It's addiction unlimited dot com forward slash recovery recipe and I'll put that link in the show notes too so you can click on it and get it right from your podcast APP but again. It's totally free. I know a ton of you guys have it. I love that you're using it. I get really great feedback about it and I appreciate that okay so make a decision and don't think you can't do it or it's too hard because it isn't. That's exactly what the bear wants you to think he will put up a fight so be prepared to hear the committee spewing all his lame excuses for why you don't need help or you don't need support guidance or you don't need to go to meetings or you don't have time because you're so busy or whatever the thing is. He is telling you. This is something that to me is both sad and amusing right because we talk ourselves ourselves out of things so easily or we let the bear talk us out of things so easily think about it this way. If you went to the doctor and you were diagnosed with cancer you would do everything in your power to fight it. You would follow the follow the doctor's recommendations to a T.. You would figure out how to pay for it. You would quit your job if you had to to make time for your treatments. Indoor surgery because cancer is fatal in we'll take your life well. Newsflash addiction is fatal in we'll take your life if alcohol will kill you so if you catch yourself making excuses even if they feel totally valid and rational. That's the moment you have to double down and be committed to your decision. I go through the same things you you guys. I work a lot on my podcast. I do all my own editing marketing. I make all my graphics. I do all my own social media. I write all my own copy. I build my own websites and on top of that. I have a whole other company with to sober living houses with seventeen guys to manage in protect on a daily basis. I understand being tired. I understand being busy at the same time I will never for a moment moment. Allow my sobriety to suffer because of the choices I'm making right. I can get up a little early and do a meeting online or watch a good sobriety video on youtube or listen to a podcast. There are a million ways. I can nurture Termi- sobriety on a daily basis but it's up to me to make that choice and to make a commitment to taking the action each day because I decided I will not take a drink again another example us when people tell me they don't have time is if you dropped your phone and broke it. I promise you you would create an hour in your day to go to the phone store for a new phone. I promise you you would because it's important to you. So why would you not carve out a small piece of time each day to nourish and feed your sobriety. Is your phone more important than your sobriety. I don't think so so let's recap. How do you know if you've hit rock bottom? <hes> I think rock bottom is the moment that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired and you're ready to make a commitment to change and you are willing to tell the bear and the committee to shut the F. Up so you can follow simple guidance to get better. Let me save you some time right now. You can't do it on your own because the bear has hijacked. You're thinking any broke it. It's just that simple. He broke it so you can't sit there with broken thinking in figure out your own solutions with broken thinking like it doesn't make any sense you have to follow the guidance of people who have had broken thinking and fixed it already. We know the path so let us show you. It's really just that simple. Really you know you really ready to commit and make changes when you cease trying to talk yourself out of help before I really decided to get my shit together. I was always against everything I I didn't want to go to meetings because of my anxiety. I didn't think I needed the things that other people need it. I didn't think I was as bad as those people or whatever I would never take any suggestions in that kept me isolated and separate and alone and drunk but when I had that rock bottom moment in a really decided I was ready to change. I took every suggestion I was given. I didn't fight anything. I didn't say maybe or maybe I'll do that later or I don't need that right. Now I literally took every suggestion and I ran with it. Even the things that sounded absolutely terrible to me in there were things right like I have terrible social anxiety. I'm not good in groups that I got there and they said you need to get connected and hang out with other alcoholics and this lady came up to me and said Angela a bunch of us. Ladies are having dinner tonight. We'd love for you to come in in my ahead of course the bear in the committee. We're going Oh God. No that sounds terrible. Were definitely not doing that. We want to go home. We went isolate. Let's be by ourselves. We definitely do not WANNA hang out with a bunch of strangers. You know what came out of my mouth. I said absolutely I'd I'd love to and I was lying because because I wouldn't love to but I knew because it was suggested to me by the people that had walked this path before me. I knew that's what I needed to should do and I knew even bigger than that. I knew that I didn't know what the Hell I was doing. I needed the guidance of those who had already accomplished what I was trying to accomplish think about it. It's the same reason we hire coaches coaches right because we're ready to do better and be more committed and we want the accountability to hold us to our commitment. That's why you guys hire me the same reason we hire personal trainers so they can teach us how to do better because we are really committed into doing better but before I was ready to commit to changing my eating habits or exercise habits. I wouldn't hire anyone because I wasn't totally committed so I didn't want that accountability. I didn't want someone to know I wasn't hasn't really committed right so screwed around on my own printing healthy recipes and googling how to eat well in joining free online programs that I never followed because there wasn't real accountability because I wasn't really committed yet when I got serious when I decided for real decided in committed to my decision that's when I hired the right coaches to get me where I wanna be a. and hold me accountable for my actions and my daily choices. I got guidance to get me where I wanted to be from people who knew how to do what I couldn't do on my own and that leads me to to catch you up on some of the things going on here at addiction unlimited and what I'm putting together for you first of all I wanNA give a shout out. I usually give a shout out in the beginning of the episode but as usual I just started chattering and running my mouth and uh-huh for God's shout out so I wanNA give a shout out to Katie who just joined my two K intensive platinum package. Katie has been struggling for the last year trying to quit drinking she would get like several as sober sometimes even a couple of weeks sober and then she would fall back into old patterns and habits drinking with friends or even drinking at home out of boredom. <hes> and I love Katy story too because she wasn't a hard core daily drinker like me. But she noticed that whenever she did drink she drank more than she wanted to and she would wake up the next morning feeling like crap usually late to work and then she felt embarrassed because she wasn't as together at work and she was just feeling all around crappy right so she decided for real decided that she wanted to commit to making a real change and she wanted that hands on support of my two K platinum package because she wanted to really understand drinking from the inside and she wanted daily guidance and support to change and that's what we do in two K it's daily support with me and I'm so proud of Katie because she's brand new to this. Her rock bottom wasn't extreme and she's totally committed to a new lifestyle and she's super excited so yea Katie's so happy to see her and have her in that two K and for those of you who want more support in your journey whether you want the daily support of the two K. Platinum Ratnam package or just weekly support with one on one mentoring with me you can find all the available coaching options at Addiction Unlimited Dot Com forward slash coaching. I also do group coaching every Monday evening that is really inexpensive incisive and a great way to connect with other people who are doing the same thing and are here to support you along with me supporting you and you can find that Info also at Addiction Unlimited Dot Com forward slash coaching and I also put that link in the show notes so you can get there and sign up right from your podcast APP Addiction Unlimited Dot Com Forward Slash coaching seriously addiction doesn't deserve to win right so decide commit get support report okay lastly. I am creating an online course for my recovery recipe. I am so crazy excited about this. It will be a great opportunity to utilize the recovery recipe the way it's meant to be used with guidance from me on exactly how to use each piece it will be fully online so you can do it at home in your undies on your own time. How amazing is that in his totally private David? I will keep you posted on that too totally private in your undies. Do It on your time so that's coming up. You'll hear more about that in speaking of totally private I get several messages a week asking me if our facebook group is private where can other people see that you are in there and the addiction unlimited group page is a private page so it will not show up in your feed or anything like that. Only the people in the group can see you in what you post but for those of you who are worried about the privacy issue. Remember that I'm a life coach right. I work with a ton of people who don't have any addiction issues at all. I work with people to change all kinds of habits. I work with people setting goals for their business business. I work with couples for better communication. I'm a life coach. I happened to also be a recovering alcoholic so I love working with people with addiction issues but if you were ever questioned about being a part of my group you are welcome to let people know I work on improving life in rebuilding self esteem and being a better human regardless of what you're recovering from. Just tell them I'm a life coach in. It's good information and it's supportive. That's all you have to to say and I hope that helps because I do get that question a lot so I hope you guys love this episode on Rock bottom. I hope it makes more sense for you and I would love to hear some of your stories to and don't forget to join is in the facebook group. <HES> FACEBOOK DOT com forward slash groups forward slash addiction unlimited. I will also put that in the show notes our show notes get long <hes> you can link directly to our facebook group the coaching page age and whatever else I said I would put in there. You can find that right in the show notes on your podcast up. We'll keep it nice and simple for you. I hope you guys are having a great day and I look forward to next week's episode we have Daniel Henderson coming on Daniel Henderson a young guy he got sober young and in early sobriety he went hiking with a friend and he felt two hundred feet off a cliff in Utah. This is a crazy story. Story and Daniels episode is next week so look forward to that again. I hope you guys are having a great day. Thank you for spending some time with me. I'll see you next week. You've reached the end of another great episode of the Addiction Unlimited podcast candid and honest conversation about addiction and recovery be sure to visit us at addiction unlimited dot com to join the conversation and access show notes and links do everything we talked about love.
A 200ft Fall Off A Cliff in Early Recovery
"Hey everybody welcome to the addiction unlimited podcast where you get to learn everything you WanNa know about addiction and recovery. I'm your host Angela Pugh co-founder of Kansas City recovery life coach and recovering alcoholic to learn more about me. You can listen to episodes zero zero on your podcast APP or find us on the web at addiction unlimited dot com. Hey everybody welcome to the addiction unlimited podcast. I I'm your host Angela Pugh. Thank you for spending some time with me today and listening to the pod. I'm always happy to spend the afternoon with you. I know you guys are probably listening while you we're at the gym or driving in the car but if you remember later try to log onto apple podcasts and leave us a review reviews or super important in the podcast world so you can take. I don't know sixty seconds or so and leave us a review in itunes. I will love love love you for that so let's get into today's show you guys are GonNa love this. I know I always say that but I think it's usually true and it is today to we are talking to Daniel Henderson who at three years sober fell two hundred feet off a cliff while he was hiking in Utah. This is an incredible story and he he has remained sober and then of course has done all this healing from traumatic brain injury and broken bones and all stuff. It's incredible but the story is so good too because believe it or not Daniels twenty two years old in he is coming up on four years sober so I'm GonNa stop talking about him and I'm GonNa let him talk about himself for us. Daniel thank you so much for being here. Oh though probably more that have to do this okay six this experience so tell everybody of course I prefaced it a little bit but tell everybody a little bit about you and your story well of as you heard Dave's Daniel I grew up in Cincinnati Ohio of had a dad who is an Entrepreneur Oda Job Coaching Career Coaching Business Bob. She was worth a stay at home while she works part time but she pretty much stayed home with by brother. Die Great family played soccer lots of sports hiking backpacking backpacking family was huge outdoors especially by dad fighting off the beaten path spots like cool trails cool restaurants go a lots of cool adventures adventures of throughout the United States so I had a good childhood Ed upper middle class upbringing. The reason why I say that is because recovery even though everything appears great of the outside everything started fall apart at time of its side just because I from a decent family does not be I could not suffer from substance abuse disorder that the health issues with it. It's so true threw in you. I mean a lot of that is starting to change right because we have so many more people speaking openly about addiction so some of that perception China starting to change but it's still pervasive people still think like they have that visual when you say you're an alcoholic like they think you have to be homeless living under the bridge and drinking out of the Brown paper bag and it's like no people from all walks of life get this. You're exactly right. It does not discriminate the first part of alcoholics anonymous. The first step is talking about manageability. It does not have to be that you your life is so eventually end up under a bridge it could be that your life's imaginable to the point. You just gave a dido class or you catch show up to work. If you're going to work at your functional that that you're drinking on the job at its affected your relationships at work or with your wife or your husband so it. What does that have to be the person under the bridge right? I ended up under a bridge but prior to that I was. I was with a state state science fair. I was played high level club soccer baking the State Cup semifinals lots of Fred's girlfriend things of that nature plus Laissez was trying to start up a environmentally-friendly law crew at Cincinnati Ohio so I was extremely driven of everything could ask for cool vacations vacations it. You'd think with all that stuff why drink your braids out 'cause alcohol's vigil choice <unk> a lot of drugs but alcohol what always back to at alcoholism at other Substance Abuse Disorders are disease wait. How old were you when you realized sized that you're drinking was a problem seventeen? Did you have like a specific event like something that happened. That made you go. Oh Wow I need to look at this or like. How did it happen for you like I always talk about for me? I recognized that my relationship was doc with alcohol was different. I recognize like I wanted to spend more time with alcohol than my friends. Did you know like at the end of the night when the bar closed my friends were happy to go home and I would always be thinking. Why are they going home? When we could drink more like those are the first things I started to notice that that I just did it differently you know what was it for you as it any event or where was it small things? It was swallow things that lead to a big a couple big events but I took a heavy schedule schedule by junior year of high school outed of A._p.. Classes accelerate Spanish play club soccer her which was travel so we travel the play soccer. The first semester was pretty somewhat decent. I definitely partied but <unk> go. I got decent grades. I got like a two point five three point. Oh it wasn't style stellar. It was average but by the second semester of junior year I got really depressed issues that whole with parrots plus extremely hyperactive it alcohol calls as you doubt. I spoke the TATO eat. I was Kinda Hippie to sort of outdoors. I love the grateful dead. I love doors. I love fish love slightly stupid reggae Bob Marley so I definitely spoke to lead. That's of calls. We dowd takes edge off plus with all the stuff going on at home. We'll start us a lot more heavily. I started become extremely depressed. I was not thinking right. I started threatening to kill myself. I ended up it it with children's Hospital <unk> Ohio of those first one that was the sex bester junior year of high school at that it was off to the races says with mental health hospital stays from that one till the end of the suffer at the end of the summer of junior year go into Cedar I I had about fifty to twenty psychiatric visits at stopped showing up to school. I started drinking vibrate. Sell Smoke. We Lost Islah Fred's. I started forty checks right. Parrots Ed Call from stores. I don't know how did not get caught. We log a year to get caught but I still thought a stuff. I was dale eligible to play soccer because my grades are bad. Exciting wasn't showing up multiple suicide attempts at three by second semester of junior year so that takes me to senior the year. I was depressed <unk>. I lost two friends. No one really wants to be around me. Why fairly too much to do with they wanted me to get healthy but was refused to do anything he really a healthy <unk> higher drug so what day is solely parents credit card it for whatever reason I got really high drug with people people do got a hotel room at I said if I went to Seattle though it changed my problems so parents credit card? I don't know why did take a flight but I bought a Greyhound L. Ticket to Seattle Washington from Cincinnati. which is I mean it would be dazed right? It was a day it was a couple of days agree. I was just played used by parents hurts credit card by hotels support myself. That's so screwed up by thicky was or sleep on the side of the road. Would you say you were you know the the majority of us with addiction also have some level of anxiety depression and typically A._D._d.. Right because it's the same area of the brain so for wiring is a little off off to have one of those things we usually have all of them and I say different levels because I think it's different for everybody like my depression has always been pretty manageable but I've had times that my anxiety is almost debilitating you know. Would you say because you were so young and you had all those psych hospital visits. Do you think that you were self medicating the mental health stuff with your drinking and smoking pot like it was it made you feel better. Yes that is exactly what I was doing. That's why with the mental health side. It's a lot more than just I can't stop. That was the real reasons as I was using plus. I was so energetic. It just called me Dell Right. It's interesting too because these are the conversations I love to have because a lot of us are different. Those details can be different and for me. I say I was almost an accidental alcoholic because I oh I didn't start drinking for those reasons right like when I was a younger person I didn't really start drinking tie was about twenty years old anyway and when I was in high school and stuff I was was a very well adjusted confident normal kid. You know what I mean. I didn't have anxiety then and I certainly was having depression. <hes> <hes> so for me. I started working in a bar and once I started working in a bar then I was surrounded by alcohol all the time like everybody drank all the time and it just became very normal to me to drink every day because everybody I saw drink every day so I kind of fell into it almost by accident but that's not a standard story either so I love to kind of highlight some of those differences too because we have so many listeners to whose stories are going to be different. You know yeah everyone's story who suffers from the diction is different. It's some people's work could bars star Dr Tricky. The restaurant industry is huge with you. Work hard definitely work hard that you have that work hard play hard attitude see work like a twelve hour day away. You go get drunk. You go at high whatever it is a lot of people who work at restaurants or young too so it's part of a lot of people party. That's completely fine it. I definitely had my fair share. I have a lot of friends that don't have a problem at party. They have fun but I just can't so that's why I don't do do it but with a restaurant kind of the atmosphere and a lot of those people have ended up having problems or work at a restaurant so you fall into to a place of people a lot of suffer from these issues so you watt surround yourself with your they say you're Fred's our future so so you have to be careful about who you surround yourself by specialists alcoholism addiction subsidies disorder at the health for sure. You really really be kerfuffle. It's so true in this is another piece. I think people struggle with often too when they get sober is people have family members that don't don't really understand the seriousness of the disease and they don't really understand that you can't have even a single drink you know or people with spouses says I've been dealing with this a lot. <hes> was some clients where having a spouse that still drinks because maybe they don't drink alcoholic right but they don't understand like why can't you have have one or two so it's such an important piece to get to that. Even more important that you surround yourself with people who nourish are issue in who you want to be because you have to have that support you have to have that acceptance. It's so important to have that acceptance to from the people that you love. I couldn't hang out with people that it only drank and I still have a lot of drinking friends and I love them dearly but I wouldn't be as healthy if I only hung out with drinking people all the time. I have to be around so for people to yeah. I completely understand that a lot of by direct obedient fairly those drake by Dad's as drake really at all or by evolve will have a glass of wine now dead but they're not drinking but by extended family drake's some of them understand it other doodo understand <hes>. I've had some friends even at sobriety we talk about Seraglio ourselves around people. We want to be by for a good future just because you're sober does stop by your healthy. It just feeds you're sober. It's so misunderstood I personally had to do. It's a type of therapy. That's really good which which changed my life with two years of sobriety treatment for travel televise stuff was breakup with girlfriends yeah that was odd treated in law theives <unk> interpersonal relationship issues parrots family issues stuff like that lot of times it sobriety people talk about it so that's what happened to be. I had underlying issue of <unk> <unk> personal relationship issues of P._T._S._d.. About was caused by the failure issues break up with girlfriends that was it plus had low self-esteem so lead us to your accident and falling off the cliff. How long were you sober? Where were you when it happened? Tell the listeners that story well. I just picked up three or sobriety by accident happened at Salt Lake City Utah. There's a lot of outs out. They're big <unk> outdoors community. It's beautiful. I love living there. It is beautiful. It's a beautiful city. I was hiking it Wa- Sach National Forest at Lisa Falls <unk> located which is like Alta Ski Resort Lot of ski resorts throughout their awesome place but I was hiking with Hi I don't remember it looks absolutely beautiful. I was hiking the trail. We are all the side of a cliff and I stepped on a rock in the middle of the trail. Add because of the side of a cliff was probably roughly around eight thousand feet. It just gave way it just broke like the whole ground under a your feet just gave out. Yes Ed. I fell with it. If Fred saw he was just watching Me Fall Thou- the Siva cliff of it was not vertical is about two hundred total but it was be hitting rocks trees creeks anything that was there. He watched me fall. All the way down at that is scary as one of my best friends still is today it plus. I asked him to go hiking. 'cause he was isolating. It was kind of pressed so he it felt like worse because I was trying to be a service ED. You know I've the one who felt the cliff. He felt awful so he made his way to be thinking about hour and a half off and he got to be or like our times ethics due dot river anything he made his way to eighty thought you know he's. I was Haikus right person. He was actually traded search rescue for college how Nice yes so right person the right time but he thought was dead. I was all bloody but he heard me barely Breezy Eddie. You could tell it to clap slugs because barely breathing the way it was breathing from his trade as like clubs lugs so he he didn't WanNa touch me either because he I was wondering if I hurt by spider was screw up. That's something else he lured through search rescue trading so what he did is he immediately got the phone. We are the middle though where if you are real-life account of fries wireless you the best service here it is for is wireless had service. We're really far out there add. He called search rescue. Ed had it took search and rescue about two hours to get to the said hiked out. I felt the trail they had a figure out how navigate it to a part of the kid. I was as in so what's they got to be again for is it has also service. They saved my life there fode that did not have service. That's bet for that. We are really far out the fouts so wait. Let me get this straight. Search and rescue phones did not work though so they had the the verizon wireless phone works yes so they used by Fred's phone to call helicopter so I got put on helicopter those hey from a helicopter helicopter with some guy from search rescue with me. Take it all the way out to the side of the road held up like three hours traffic of actually read the summit at K._A._B._C. Chicago. That's all this. It was stuck in traffic jam. It is a joke. I try to go twenty dollars such asshole. I'm so sorry to ruin your failure location. Just I'm sorry but yes so I they brought me out. They had to get a sheet. Say put chest tubes the side of the road said why the news was there <hes> you could see it like put up sheet. This report May Cat C._V. at right. They're they're putting two chest tubes. In of I talked to the girl that put the chest to it by less look odd that she thought it would die. She was going to make it. They all thought it'd be dead that I got the helicopter went to the University of Utah Hospital spittal at what I got there by body was so shocked. I had a heart attack at a stroke and I flat lied. I died for the period I was dead was about about five minutes at Lloyd. Do not see anything. I say also ask you that. I just make up stuff. They brought me back to life with those paddles. Does that shock your heart at chest compressions. While this was happy I had a stroke two but they brought me back to life. I was partially natural <unk>. Kogo Ed partially <unk> halfway through. I don't remember any of this the best they can write that <unk> adduced for three and a half weeks. I think they have to do that just so your body can can heal yeah co was a helix yeah right so as obviously if you suffer for bags -iety it's a great state. I've told people this was like a cake aac walk the recovery from a traumatic <unk> for fall off a cliff with all the physical injuries that came with it. This was a cakewalk compared to battling a substance abuse disorder of tilt his with it. This was easy yeah. How many broken bones did you have. I don't know what exact count but I broke several ribs. There's a bunch a bunch of like <unk> shoulders at broke. My left shoulder really bad so I broke all those joints. I broke my wrist by elbow. I broke my whole arm. I don't know if those are all separate things but that's what I broke <hes> yeah. I broke stuff. I love bar spies. Severe call about paralyzed. I broke all the boats face but they rearranged the better looking. Tell her that what she picked me off for the airport so it's actually everything plays out to my advantage. It's like stay sober. You get better looking so that's the that's the lesson you get better looking but though I don't look any better I just tell people out of. I look the same but yeah I broke. I don't know how he boats. Your face broke all the boats by face. I think there's some boats your throat. I broke those. I have ten percent here. He lost if I left ear. short-term every is very poor. I have to this great time at age to have short term memory loss <unk> technology. I have calendar <unk>. Ah Google docs that God for Google docs so I can access it anywhere anytime you know just really accommodate because a traumatic brain injury is chronic. I will have short term every every I feel different not bad it's different. I just can't describe it right definitely feel work hall. I know it's funny. Now for listeners were recording in Kansas City city and I actually I have a professionals <hes> group that I created in Kansas City and I flew Daniel into Kansas City to speak to be a guest speaker for my professionals group so that's what he's doing in Kansas City but <hes> it's interesting in in the last couple the days that we've spent together doing this event and stuff for you to you. Constantly say that you were so hyper before like in your addiction. You are so hyper and you're always saying I couldn't sit still into no you now. Obviously this is the only way I've known you. You are super calm so it's just interesting to hear that the contrast in those two no by personality was I was Kinda like V with anything. I was like you know distracted very easily Ed. I had a really hard type executing and now I can really execute very well. I still have issues with that when it comes to fix adult what to do but I think everyone troubles with that yeah but I'm getting a lot better but it's also because I felt the right psych beds would I went to Salt Lake City for bet the whole troop discover center with that with traumatic brain injury the right beds like I could focus and execute evidence will do that so like fifteen but it really shows how much we do about the brain for sure yeah yeah. I- structurally Davidson <unk> as they could see that other braids get what we don't do. Psychiatrists psychologists therapists that we are the only people who do not look at org retreating and I think it's highly important that we start looking at what were treated otherwise. We're Kinda. Go yet lie to just taking notes read off the dotes. Let's start. Start Looking at it right. So what are you doing now. You are a year from your accident right the other over little over a year. What is your life look like today? My Life looks like today. I of I work. I work for myself. I started a business called recover wisely. We're also oh creating a clothing line for recovery we partnered with a company called week connect that has made at for people. It's ride help schedule their day to help. Stay sober whatever they needed to do. That's twelve step programming or fits dachshund poipet therapist so I've really excited about that partnership to come up with more products using technology but I also host at Red Robin at the Capitol Ball Say Ohio Accessory Oblivion right now and that's Red Rav. It's been that huge forbid but what I fell off that cliff I obviously did show up for work at Red Robin Suvs Akobo they it's found out at red lava their their franchise at Salt Lake City of by the company Sizzling Platter that Owes Dakota's little caesars a lot of other restaurants they it's the found doubt they put like a small little meeting with the staff at Red Rav. I worked at at the servers donate a percentage of their tips from the fall we had after this to go to go navy. I had a surrogate for me. This was expensive fall off. A cliff is not cheap so we imagine you should exactly so what's listed. Who donated thank? You saved my life but I will love red. Robert Burgers are good but they took it to a level say. I got a couple thousand L. dollars <unk>. They employed we after the facts. It's helped by braid. He'll it's really important to do stuff like exercise. It's brain teasers of a host. I have to look at a C._D.. Chart Chart at Red Robin. I have to memorize a little tables. Buy short-term Beverages poor. I have to rise. I have to remember where I sat somewhat to track on IPAD. I beat it sounds associate bull but the even what you cut like you're you're out from a track brain injury Scott a lot better by <unk> eight months out and they've stuck with me through all of the after the fact as they continue to work with Viet accommodate for all dachshunds point bits everything at dead with a traumatic brain injury recovery I. I believe that we did <unk> better so I've tried to make things better diversify the way we're treated substance abuse disorders that the health issues a little bit of traumatic brain injuries out IT products at market at differently it also heals by braid yeah for sure. It can't her all this. There's a frog for you follow solving I could see the improvement. It's this selfishly is yes. I've alive by do not want to be brain dead. What a good life I want? I don't uh-huh Fowleri Berry. That's a big word twenty two over four kids. That's twenty two of twenty two. That's a whole but I know what to have fought. It is quite remarkable when when you think about a year like a year is not that long and to sit in have conversation with you into think about everything that you've been through just in the last year her is pretty crazy to think about like all the healing you've done and all the months that it would take to do all of that healing. I it's pretty remarkable where you are already. He and I wear your recovery will take you in the next year. I think we'll be awesome. Yes yes the miracle is is the that the city I fell. It has deep deep best <unk>. The top two people for traumatic brain injuries of doctors by Dr was there I all the protocol was Gregory Horlick. He was fantastic. He said you know it's going to get your hopes up but I had the disuse accidental injury which is about a forty five percent rate of like livable recovery avary recovery media. You're not disabled so ito that's less than half so there's a good chance I will be at assisted Darcy for the rest of my life but Dr Harley said I I would be surprised if seed people with worse brain injuries that him go on to have families have kids graduate school though businesses so that was five doctor after he was a credible. He said I would not be surprised he added apparatus phone to that tracks vitals at everything he micromanaged by situation so so he could see anywhere in the world how is doing recall the people that Audit Steve Sadie to get it there now they would get it there and take care of everything there's other guy they'd be Geeta Fred's with. He's talk about the head of the Envir- covers so he's not he's like a year like four bucks five bucks out. He's straight as college. He's driving he skiing. He's rock climbing a he's heike. He's loved life so I don't know I don't WanNa say it can be repeated for everyone but because it can't but there is there are people out there to research search ready loves to fix better so we are starting to see progress right. What would you say this my favorite question final question? What is is your favorite thing about being a sober person by favorite thing about being a so a person? Is I just first off. I just love how life back doc I felt like I was a jail to alcohol. I felt like I was a chain. That could get off that shade. I love what I do. I love seeing people get better. I love seek so we author Life Bax. I've been there. I know how much that's stuff socks. It's it's amazing to watch in. Even I've had the same a a home in group my whole sobriety and even when I hear people that have that watched me for my beginning. You know my first day that I walked into a I. I was fresh out of a car accident. My face was swollen and black and blue from my accident. I mean I looked like a crazy person and it's so cool to see to talk to people who have seen my transformation to in now to be in a position where I get to see other people's transformation like it's amazing to watch how much we grow and flourish in recovery. It's really really a miracle. Oh yes it definitely is. I wouldn't trade what I dif-. It work out of considering her foot. It's doesn't feel like workspace. I know every time I travel people. Are you going for work or pleasure and I'm like it's kind of the same thing I they call. My work is fun yeah. It's all the same to me will thank you so much for sharing your story with my listeners. It's such a beautiful story to see you on the other side of it in staying sober through everything that you've been through is just a testament a true testament to recovery so thank you for sharing your story avoid happy to be here to throw the it'd be asked to be on this podcast. You've reached the end of another great episode of the Addiction Unlimited podcast candid an honest conversation about addiction and recovery be sure to visit us at addiction unlimited dot com to join the conversation and access show notes and links. Do everything everything we talked about love episode. Please take thirty seconds to subscribe rate and review on Itunes to help us improve and give you the information you want. Thanks for listening.
THE FLY GIRL Ruth Nichols
"The episode is sponsored by girls can crate girls can create is a unique subscription box inspiring girls to believe they can be and do anything. How do they do it like us girls can create believes that real women make the best heroes and every month they deliver them to your doorstep. Happy new year. Katie happy new year. I've had very lovely break me too. It's been very relaxing today. I'm going to tell you about an amazing woman. She was the very first woman to attempt. A transatlantic flight was the only woman to hold simultaneous world records for speed altitude and distance cool. She was the first woman to pilot, a commercial passenger airline. Whoa. She beat Charles Lindbergh's world record time for a cross country flight to really flying across the country and thirteen hours twenty one minutes. Wow. So why isn't she as famous as Amelia Earhart? Why haven't I heard of this woman, the exactly what I said. And that's what we're here to find out today. Cool, her name is Ruth rally Nichols and her story is sad and inspiring. And fascinating and depressing. Sounds like perfect. What's her name classic? I'm Olympia Mickle. And I'm Katy Nelson. And this is what's her name fascinating. Women. You've never heard of. So, of course, one of the problems that we've talked about a lot is in women's history. You have one slot for any given category, right? Yeah. We get female aviator, and that is taken by Amelia Earhart. Right. We might get Bessie Coleman. If we want white female aviator black female ater. Yeah. But those are the only two we ever talk about. And that's ridiculous. So to learn more about Ruth rally Nichols, I talked to Keith O'Brien Kito Brian, and among one time journalist, and the author of fly girls. Your times number one bestseller us your cool. It's really incredible book to meet all these women all these incredible female aviators. I've never heard of. But he's also just a brilliant, writer, you get fully fleshed out story, and you feel like you really know these people and you understand all the context for what's going on in way, that is really unusual for sort of a pop. All. It's stunning to go back and see how the press almost exclusively, a male press wrote about these women. It made for great copy great headlines when when women made daring flights or attempted to race in the national air races at the time. But these reporters would go out of their way to sneak little belittling, comments into their stories. When a man made a daring flight or when a man one and air race both of which were extremely dangerous almost to the point of being reckless. He wasn't an aviator with a capital, a almost like a gladiator in the sky when a woman would make these daring kind of flights. Presswood call them lady birds mistresses of the sky. I mean. It's it's ridiculous. The sweethearts of the air. It's so sweet. Yeah. So cute. And sweet of them when they're breaking men's records and flying. We're record speeds. Little ladies. Plane. In Amelia herself would later, say, and I'm paraphrasing, here would kill them just to tal- pilots. In order to understand the story of Ruth Nichols. We first have to understand the story of Amelia Earhart. We tend to have forgotten everything about how she lives. Amelia Earhart didn't begin as a famous aviator flew solo cross the ocean. She began as a social worker in Boston in the spring of nineteen twenty eight who had a pilot's license. But now living in Boston as a social worker wasn't doing much flying at all. And it is here in Boston where she gets possibly one of the most lucky breaks. Anybody could have gotten at this time, she's plucked from obscurity to ride as a passenger on a plane flown by men across the ocean, Amelia herself will do. No flying. Her job is to sit behind the two men flying. The plane take notes for book. She will write for. George Putnam, Putnam publishing. If in when this plane successfully makes it across the ocean. So Amelia Earhart's rise to fame. Is she called herself a sack of potatoes, who was a passenger on a flight? Just beat a woman freezing sitting there in the back of the plane doing nothing crazy. But when they landed she's famous. When it lands off the coast of Wales in June of nineteen twenty eight Amelia Earhart has become the first woman to fly cross the ocean. What's frustrating about this entire story is that in spring, nineteen twenty eight Ruth Nichols was already an established east coast pilot with especially frustrating Ruth Nichols. Is that Ruth Nichols lives, just two miles from George Putnam, in rhino York? He very likely knew her family. You could have certainly gotten her on the phone. But the plane that had been acquired to make this flight seaplane plane was sitting in Boston Harbor. And so instead of looking around in New York, they looked around in Boston. This is really the first of many things that doesn't break and Ruth Nichols favor but two routes credit. She's not bitter or if she is bitter, she does a great job of hiding it when Amelia returns to America in the summer of nineteen twenty eight it's Ruth Nichols who's there to reach out to her, and welcome her back home, they go to lunch and Ryan New York. They are now to female aviators standing shoulder to shoulder, but it's really just the beginning of what would be a very complicated friendship and at times rivalry between. Is born in the early twentieth century on the upper east side of New York. She's the daughter of Erickson, and Edith Nichols Eric's Nichols her father descended from wealth and Staten Island and will over the course of the next couple of decades, amass a little bit of a fortune, as a Wall Street trader. Nichols understands the expectations that our parents have to. She is to grow up. Mary, mary. Well, and Mary Yang when she does all the newspapers are gonna cover it in the society pages. And it will be a big deal. In the spring of nineteen nineteen as a graduation, present her father biser, a short airplane, ride Atlantic City that kind of thing might you to us today. But this is post World War, One, the pilots have come home. There is a glut of pilots, a glut of planes. How do these pilots make money? Well, they start by barnstorming going across the country. Carnivals air rides. Airshows air Rhodia's is they were called Ruth goes Atlantic City, essentially for one of these and she, she takes short ride in an open cockpit. J N, or it was a primitive by plane was better known as Jenny. She's very afraid to make this flight. She doesn't like reading on elevators. She doesn't like roller coasters. She doesn't like heights, but she doesn't want to reveal these fears to father, so she smiles photograph and she, she climbs into the open cockpit with the pilot and. Scared to death, especially when the pilot revealed that he didn't just plan to like just fly around in the sky was going to do some flips induce macrobiotics and show off to his young teenaged passenger. And it's the prizing thing happens. By the time she reaches the ground, she would say that she fell is if in flying her soul was freed from her earthly body, and it's really in that moment. That everything changes Ruth Nichols. Well, of course that reminds me of Blanchard. Yeah. Same thing. Yeah. But that the people who you least expect to enjoy this. Yeah. Absolutely love. This is making me feel like maybe I need to become a pilot. Maybe I'm missing out on something up there. And I was gonna say, maybe I maybe I would like it. But I know that I don't but you've never flown. You never been the pilot. You've only been absent, unfortunately, what do you mean? When I was in college. One of your friends set me up with her brother all. Yeah. On a blind date. Yeah. Yeah I remember the pilot. Yeah. We went up in the air and he, he let you take over. He forced me to take over. He just took his hands off and forced me to pull the plane up and fly and I was another of that experience did not go in another date. So I flew in a plane and I didn't like it. So apparently, I am unlike currently your earthbound women. Yeah. I'm just cowardly all the way through. But such was not the case for Ruth, Rowan nNcholas. And she immediately fell in love. This was where she wanted to be all the time. But she's supposed to get married and be a society lady. Sure uses. And she goes off to Wellesley the women's against her father's will, but her parents really, really do not approve of this choice during her sophomore year. They, they just absolutely insist that she gives us up. And so she takes some time off and goes to Miami. And stays in the family's home in Miami as you do as you do. I assume that this is time meant to be spent finding a husband. Oh, okay. Instead to find a flight instructor. Yes. And secretly takes pilot lessons. And by the time she graduates from Wellesley nineteen twenty four. She graduates with her diploma and a pilot's license. I love that. She's a regular Friday Fisher, I. Yes. I think she and this is an excellent is right at the beginning of that era. The roaring twenties when the youth are rejecting the values of the older generations. Her parents want her to do what's done. And this new gen post post bore generation says, no. We are going to do the opposite of what you told us to do. Tell me she wore flapper dresses. I'm sure she did she have short hair, and she was a debutante. She did that short, Bob. Yep. Cool short. Bob with the, the flip out so the very fast. Oh, cool. I just love picturing, the moment when her parents find out that rather than doing this society rounds often Miami. She's been secretly lie. Thoroughly modern. So although you might expect it her parents are furious about this pretty quickly. They seem to come around. They weren't initially huge fans. This wasn't the life they had imagined for. But something interesting happens while Roose father didn't imagine going this way for her. He tacitly approves of it, by turning the other way. We're actively encourages it as time goes on. And that to me is pretty interesting. Eric's Nichols by all accounts was not the kind of man that you disobeyed, whether you were a son or daughter. So in my opinion, he probably could have stopped Reuss, or he could have tried in. I don't think he did that. So while he didn't approve of what his daughter was doing. He did at least allow her to go down this path. As she's beginning to enter air races. And do these really during flights? She's getting a lot of newspaper coverage, and that's what they're after anyway. Yeah. Maybe if her wedding can't be in the newspaper, right? Her daring do the next best thing. Yeah. Exactly. And her father was very close friends with teddy Roosevelt. He had been in the rough riders. Oh, wow. So a have to assume that he understands the appeal of adventure and danger and an action oriented life. Yeah. Yeah. Even if he may be didn't approve for a daughter that some core level. He has to understand this is the nineteen twenties. He has to get on board. Yeah. Any he does. The papers call her the flying debutante. Socialite. She's always referred to as a socialite, but as the Brian points out that really doesn't ring true. She didn't have a lot of money at the beginning. She starts out. Yes, she is a debutante cheeses socialite her father is in Wall Street, this is the twenties. So we know what's going to happen. Yes. So after the crash when she really starts to come into her career her parents might be emotionally, supportive, they cannot be financially support. Let's pause for just a second to thank. Our sponsor girls can create girls can create a unique subscription box inspiring girls to believe that they can be and do anything every crate features and inspiring woman and her own unique story of why she's awesome. A twenty eight page activity book. Plus everything you would need to complete tour three hands on seem activities and more. And for our listeners if you go to girls can create dot com, C R, AT dot com and use the code her name all caps. You'll get twenty percent off your first month's crate on any subscription. It's designed for kids, but honestly, I think it's fun for adults. I have had many moments of off based on these subscription box for children. Do you remember the magical joy that came when you got anything in the mail as a kid girls can create brings that joy back and includes incredible stories of real life. She rose to help the girls in your life. Learn that girls can be and do anything, check them out now at girls can create C R, E dot com. When you order, make sure you use the coupon code her name all caps so that they know we sent you. People would ride her over the years and ask for my or asked her to sponsor them, or ask her to invest in something, and she would write back and say, paraphrasing here, I don't have as much money as you think I do sorry. I can't really help. When she sets her mind to making daring flights. She can't by herself a plane. She is to get one just like anybody else does by hoping someone will let her borrow it or hoping manufacturer will give her one. Now a media Erhard is in a very different situation because she is marrying George Putnam. Oh, man who arranged for the original center across the and one of the richest men in New York. Wow. So she has all the funding she needs. And she has a marketing machine behind her. For the national women's air race nineteen twenty nine Amelia Earhart has her own plane Ruth has to beg borrow and steal to get one. She's writing letters, sending telegrams throughout the summer of nineteen twenty nine bagging manufacturers, the let her borrow plane. She finally gets one Baras one for this race. It's not a very good one. It does not go that well for. So we talked about nine hundred twenty eight and this missed opportunity. When Amelia goes across the ocean and wrist is not. In nineteen twenty nine when you're later. Ruth Nichols will compete in the first national women's air race an air derby, as they called it a transcontinental race from Santa Monica California to Cleveland, Ohio. These kind of raised very common time, men and than participating in them for a couple of years nineteen twenty nine is the first time women are allowed to compete, and they've had to fight to get there in nineteen twenty eight day begin lobbying air race officials saying that they wanted Nichols Amelia Earhart their friend and colleague, Louis state, and really leading the charge. In the mail race. Organizers are intrigued they do know there's advertising value in having women race. But they want the one in the race on their terms. They want each woman to fly accompanied by a man, and they don't want them flying over the rocky mountains, and they can't leave from California. They suggest that they leave from Nebraska or Minnesota. And fly on to Cleveland from there. Amelia earhart. Louise stayed in Ruth Nichols. They will have none of that. Those three women in particular at the time were three of the four most famous female aviators in this country and they vowed to boycott the air race. If these absurd clearly demeaning rules. Stay in place. Aries organizers? No. That that's not going to look good for them. So they strike a compromise. Each woman can fly alone and the let them fly from California, but they will force them to stop in fifteen different cities, along the way, essentially puddle jumping cross the comment. Women agree to this because they know this is the ultimate offer. They all have to take the same wrote, okay, which kind of defeats a lot of purpose of right? A race subtle those strategy. Exactly what the race organizers didn't realize is that by forcing everyone to stop at the same airfields. You guarantee a media presence in those places. Oh, yes. You've created an event. Yes. And the newspapers are completely full of this race day, cool. An instantly all of these women aviators are famous that's been following this rates in a way that they really didn't for the shorter and less predictable men's races. I love that when something you think is gonna be a bad thing. Turns out to be a good thing. These women become media darlings in that's probably the phrase that they would've used. November nineteen thirty she finally gets the break. She needs. Cincinnati, ohio. There was a, a radio broadcasting. Magnates by the name of pal Rosli, how Prazeres a Lockheed and modifies it and, and Nichols has an opportunity to meet him in the fall of nineteen thirty. She sensually cells, pal, probably the idea of letting her have us, borrow his, his Lockheed. In Crosby agrees. He could imagine his name next to hers in the newspapers as she made during flights. In quick succession now, now that Ruth Nichols finally has an opportunity. She is making fast during flights back and forth across the country, setting transcontinental speed record setting altitude records setting speed records over short distances, all in quick succession in late, nineteen thirty early nineteen thirty one. Double record breaking flight across the country, end the tax to stop at Roosevelt field. Number tips. Nineteen thirty who stepped out of the plane. But one of America's leading women flyers Ruth Nichols of Cincinnati responses. Plenty proud of the daughter who just established coast to coast record both ways and defeated Lindy's record time for Los Angeles. New York light completing that trip and just thirteen hours, one minute ago. What a plane what our record. This is the moment when she decides she's ready to start raising funds and trying to become the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean. She's already broken a few of Lindbergh's records at this point. So why not set her sights on his biggest one? Here's what we've forgotten Ruth Nichols, has eclipsed Amelia undoubtedly just objectively speaking in the spring of nineteen thirty one Ruth Nichols is the most accomplished, humiliated in this country. She has a list of records to her name, and now she is going to shock the world by flying solo across the Atlantic in this Lockheed that she's borrowed from Powell. Crossley. Many prominent men, refuse to sponsor her and one well-known man, she approached about helping her manage the entire venture turns her down, even though he's already helped several aviators raise funds and, and prepare for big flights saying that he doesn't want her blood on his hands and she's livid. She knows that he would help her if she was a man. And she finally splutters out, what is my favorite insult of all time? You're, you're. Torian. And it works and he decides to help her. She knows that this flight is going to make her famous and finally prove her worth as an aviator her ability, as ater, she's got this plane that's ready. She's got book deals, lined up deals to sell footage of her flights Hollywood, and she sets off in June, nineteen thirty one to fly across the Atlantic. Anyone's ever flown to Europe knows you don't fly straight out to sea from New York or Boston, you, you follow the curvature of the earth. It's the it's the shortest route the time called the great circle route. And so she flies essentially up the coast of North America and she's going to stop to refuel, and spend the night in New Brunswick Canada than jump from there to Newfoundland spend another night, then go from Newfoundland across Europe. Ruth takes off in Brooklyn military planes, escort her up the Connecticut river valley. And as she reaches New Brunswick, she realizes there's a problem. Instead of an expansive field, wide and open. It was more like a small bowl a veritable trap. She thought dropped into a valley in the middle of the hilly, Canadian woods with the sun in her eyes photographers waiting on the ground, and darkness coming soon, Nichols decided to land. She came in fast at eighty miles an hour, half, blinded by the sun, Nichols, Mr. Marc touching down not at the start of the runway. But in the middle realizing now that she wouldn't have enough time to stop the plane Nichols hit the throttle trying to take off again. And for a moment, it looked like she would succeed with the akita's engine shrieking and its tires squealing Nichols lifted the plane off the runway just before the landing strip came to an end. She was in the air again but still so low that the plane's propeller skimmed the ground there was not enough time. There was not enough space. The Akita was heading for a rocky ledge and Nichols braced herself for the inevitable. Crash. No. Totally destroys her airplane. She is one hundred percent convinced that this airplane is going to explode because that's usually what happens. Yeah. So she scrambling to get out of the plane as fast as she can it doesn't explode, and she manages to get out. Okay. Here's all of the media. She's just crashed before she even started. Oh, jeez. And with a spirit that -solutely love, she climbs out of the plane stands in front of the media and yells wire for another plane. There's no other plane. Give her a plane. Even if there was Ruth is seriously injured, she's broken vertebrae in her back. She's very lucky not to be dead or paralyzed. It will take months to recover. But in her in her case, she didn't have a good choice, you know, right in the dark somewhere else. Right. Or land now and crash, and you have twelve seconds to come over to decide. Man, these airplanes are still mostly made out of wood. Why would an linen airplanes, really? I was stunned at how dangerous these planes are. Wow. I was picturing, a big metal thing, they're experimenting with metal planes at this point, but they're all really still far too heavy to be able to fly. Well, and, and Ruth's plane. The Akita is still a single engine would fuselage plane. She will recover and she will find investors to help her rebuild this Lockheed, and she'll take to the sky just a few months later in the fall of nineteen thirty one wearing a steel Courson still brace around her back. That's how badly she wants to keep flying. But the window of opportunity has closed and really Erhard will fly solo across the ocean about twelve months after Ruth made her attempts. Did she land at that landing strip in Newfoundland or seated? Not see had one of the world's most famous male aviators fly her playing for her up to New Brunswick and Newfoundland. And she started the flight out of the airport in Newfoundland without having to do the flight. Are you serious? I'm not throwing shade at Amelia Earhart. Right. But it's so heartbreakingly unfair. Of course, you deserve a lot of credit for that flight is extremely dangerous to fly across the ocean solo in a single engine airplane. Almost absurdly dangerous. But Amelia had advantages Ruth Nichols. Didn't it had to sting Ruth Nichols to know? She comes so close to achieving her dreams and that she had fallen short. In my opinion, Ruth Nichols really never gets over it. She would suffer for the rest of her life from aches and pains from that crash. And yet within two and a half months. She's back in a plane in instill planning to try to sell investors on around the world flight, they were incredibly brave. You know. It's what bothers me about the reductive way we handle the history of women in aviation in the time that Amelia Earhart flew, there were dozens of prominent female pilots racing planes flying across the country. Trying to set record. Each of them was brave. Each of them was bold. But in nineteen thirty eight the war starts. The air races. Stop. All of these fervor Lewis flying activities right after be directed to the war effort. She starts an organization in nineteen. Forty called relief wings relief wings is entirely female pilots anything, but that the air force might have been doing. They can now do cool. And this is a fishery the civilian arm of the air force. And so, by the end of the war, she has earned her Lieutenant Colonel ranking in the civil air patrol. Wow. That's awesome. Rhythmical struggled after the time of the air, races ended, the golden age of, of flying as it's known and certainly the peak of the air races from like nineteen twenty eight to nineteen thirty eight. A lot of female aviators in particular struggled with entrenched discrimination in sexism, as a -ccomplish inexperienced pilot as Ruth Nichols was she could not get hired at any airline at all times. Airlines is told her point blank, we can't hire you, you're a woman, and so she ends up taking work, you know, working in essentially PR office of a hospital in White Plains. She's the world record holder in everything, and no one will hire her. She can't even get a job as a flight instructor and she's miserable. She is utterly miserable. And based on her diaries, she is struggling with both physical and emotional pain, friend, and longtime rival Amelia Earhart, of course, is gone. She is in constant contact with another one of their friends and fellow flyers. From this time, it's Louise Staden, and Louise's, does what she can to help her friend, a one point rights, Ruth, Nichols, a letter, in an essentially says, in a paraphrasing here, remember how strong you are. Remember that you wanted to fly around the world where that is an armor against whatever you're fighting men. It's not enough in nineteen sixties family cannot reach Ruth Nichols at our apartment in New York City, and they find her dead in her apartment, she overdosed on, on the painkiller. She was taking time. It's a sad end, of course, to too great in promising life. It was heartbreaking for me to know how close Ruth came to achieving her dreams. She watched it all slip away. I think that's something that a lot of people understand in Ruth had it writ large. She was almost the first woman to fly solo across the ocean matching the implications of that were it not for bad luck. A poor landing. Would we know the name Amelia Earhart today? So Ruth Nichols was buried in with Lonzo Metairie in New York. That's also where Adelaide Herman is buried from one of our Powell's outs, and where basically everyone famous from New York in the twenties. Thirties is buried like many prominent cemeteries, they have a map with the famous people. Yeah. Just like in our of soda, Claudia Jones and you can go and see all the famous people's graves, many of these women were cremated seem to fit them. You know, they wanted to be cremated in scattered from plane in the sky, and so they are in the wind really. The Ruth was buried. It's a beautiful sprawling cemetery massive. So took a train up there on the morning. My book came out, and I win and I checked in at the office because you have to check in, when you go to the cemetery and explained that I was here to visit the grave of Ruth Nichols. Got out a map to help me. Find it. On this map that there are little icons for all the famous and important people that are buried there Ruth Nichols does not have an icon. She is not on the map and so using the map, Emma staffer also an app that I downloaded onto my phone. We triangulate where she was and off. I went walking about a mile through the through the cemetery and finally did find her great. With lawn. Cemetery is filled with massive mausoleums some of them were even styled at like Egyptian Crips and Ruth Nichols wasn't like that at all. It's just a simple tombstone. Like, like one day you are. I might be buried under. It has her name as the date of birth and her date of death. And then at the bottom sort of scared in the IV, there were three words it said beloved by all. And it and it just stopped me. Because she was beloved by all. All of these early female aviators were beloved by all. And. In. I do hope I do hope they will be again. Because they risked everything sacrificed so much. It's easy to, to think about all these things that Ruth Nichols came so close to achieving and to find your story heartbreaking. I don't think that's the takeaway. She was a brave bold woman who. Defied her family's expectations and defied the expectations of the time to live the life. She wanted. I think that's an inspiring story. I find it to be an inspiring story myself. Thanks to Keith O'Brien, as well as Teheran rotor, and to Cassandra McNeil, and hybrid audio for generously, allowing us to use clips from the fly girls audiobook, and thanks to our voice over actor. Matthew, michael. Thanks also to Pamela tola for sponsoring this episode on patriotic if you'd like to support more episodes of what's her name? Visit our website. What's your name podcasts dot com and click donate their rewards for donations as low as a dollar a month, and you can access all kinds of great prizes like our cross-stitch patterns are trading hearts and even get a thank you. If you drop. Thanks so much. All of our patrons. We truly couldn't do it without you. You can also follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook where we post lots of photos each week. If you'd like to learn more about Ruth Nichols amazing photos of pioneering women pilots in the early days of aviation, as well as links to Keith O'Brien's, wonderful book and audiobook, check out our website at what name podcasts dot com. Music for this episode was provided by Daniel Henderson is big band. Amanda, settling Wilson, the melody verse Jeremy did us Maria Jeffers and the students of the college conservatory of music at the university of Cincinnati Jeff Kuno and the new hot five our theme song was composed performed by Daniel foster Smith. What's her name is produced by Livia, Michael and Katie Nelson? And this episode was edited by Livia. Mickle.
246 - thanks for the lolz
"Exactly right. I'm billy to Cherinko and Danielle Henderson, and we're the host up is all what you did a brand new podcast about the fun of watching movies on the exactly right network, each Tuesday, we pick a different theme. Then we pick to films that best showcase it. It's like having your coolest aunt handpick movies you've never heard over meant to watch. You'll definitely build your movie knowledge and Fill your wash lists. If you love movies are sick of falling asleep to the same Sitcom every night or just ain't a break from daily fresh horrors of the world tune into. I. Saw what you did on November tenth and be sure to subscribe on Apple podcasts stitcher or wherever you like to listen. Hello. and. Welcome to my favorite murder. That's Georgia heart stark. That's Karen Caldera. This is your third favorite podcast. Welcome. Hey and your mom's second David Dot com what? Your sister's number one. We like her better. We always have your mom does to your. Dad's on the fence about both of you. Shit I I was talking to my dad on the I was talking to my dad on the phone this morning because he was yelling at me for not knowing. How important this? World series winners. and. Again, I I tried to explain Dad I am not interested I I love the athleticism a watch it if people are hanging out right snacks always the fun hang usually not interested in stats nor A. Have and then haven't happened whatever. So He's yelling at me about that and then I really I look at the time and realize I have to get off the phone to go to my therapy, my virtual therapy appointment and I go dad sorry I have to get off the phone because I have to go talk to my therapist and he goes what I thought. It was your therapist. Can you what would your life be like a big? Jim Gareth was was. Your fucking designated therapists. For the first eighteen. It didn't work out. Very good. Not. I don't recommend in the suck it up school of therapy. Hasn't worked for most people. Think we're all learning that now that Our parents were wrong about grandparents were wrong about bootstraps and whatnot. Yeah. That maybe that approach let the baby cry it out. Not. Good. Not Boil the baby if you touch huma. Oh. My God I really love is very finite right and you have to meet it out in. Tiny amount. I am reading this book on this basically the same thing called daughter Detox. About you know the mothers and how to get get over them And can you there like your first unrequited love mothers? And it's it's talking about all these like psychological experiments that used to do before you had to actually treat people like human beings like scientific care about humans and asked permission and things like that and like worrying about the long lasting effects of these experiments. Yes. Depressing and like who? What people let their baby get scientifically fuck in tested upon in the fifty s and seventy. and well, that's but that's also back when doctors anything they said Go. So if a doctor said Oh you your child is showing signs of this. Let's put them in this way it'll be. More medication that just came out that I'm getting money to give your child. Let's put them on it yet. So. That's great. It's different time much less information, my mom, and I are going to go to therapy finally. Are you a mediator. Release to lawyer isn't that interesting it's G I know. She's a therapist psychologist and she used to be a lawyer I feel like it's GonNa be Great. You know what you both need. No judge fucking what do they call him the mute button? No. You're talking. Like the it's the old debates, Oh, my God you're right like you're not allowed to talk at the same time. That's a great idea. If only there was a button that could make you hear people because even when for me, personally I'm not talking I'm still sitting there going. No here's why I'm. Saying. Here. You're just doing the same thing again. Well, that's why I think couples therapy. So important and good is. Ideally of a therapist who you tell the therapist, how you feel and the therapist translated translate it translates it to your partner whoever that might be and tells it to them and the language they understand. You know what I mean. It's almost like an interpreter rather than like anything and then you get told things, right? No No. Oh. No Goes back the other way I was supposed to listen to that fully formed in I mean. Jesus. Jesus it's like. Here's the thing I've learned lately. First of all, did I tell you about when I made my therapist cackle so hard she threw her head back. Laughing, dirty tell you this jury hurt herself Nowhere just talking about. How much I cannot stand vulnerability at all cannot with I can't withstand it. It's the same as as a danger feeling for another person is a- vulner- as me coming anywhere close to being vulnerable or honest or direct, and and to which. So she's talking about. Something about it and how it's of course, very important and that you have to practice it in that it's a healthy thing and whatever, and she's like and it's really it's a really good thing to do and I go. I know but it's so gross and she she exploded the idea that I was calling vulnerability growth is her favorite thing. You are being vulnerable in that moment though too, which is kind of lovely ironic. But it was also. Just in these quarantine times when all of our human interactions are so restricted and strain yet to have like a belly laugh with your therapist. So it was really enjoyable but I was gonNA tell you. So do you want to say the name of that book again Oh just the daughter detox. Let's call. It's got it's fine. Good. I highly highly recommend adult children of emotionally immature parents. It's still one of my favorite books I read an understanding what's going on with me and my childhood I am going to wait to go to therapy with my mom till after the elections scheduled for December first. ATS. Twenty Twenty Four You talking about that book made me think of a book that my therapist recommended to me that like is one of those ones where and this is my problem with a lot of self-help books. It's my problem is when you when the first three chapters are amazing, I walk away I'm got it. Did it think is? And I walk away but this one is like that but I'm sticking with. It's called burnout the secret to unlocking the stress cycle who in its written by Emily Nagorski and her sister, a million Goski in it is incredible it like the first three chapters were basically. The last ten years of my life or assisting where when you think you're endanger or you you go into the Stress Response You know our our old brain's Inter basically cave membranes. Need to either when when the fight flight freeze response comes up you either need to run you need to go find people and then have people make the feeling go away like certain things your body needs process the chemicals that that response sets into your body, and if you don't do it just gets it just stays there. If that's a thing where if you're like me folks if you're like me. and. You're good at. Pushing all those feelings down and pretending you're not having them. It's It's just a fascinating education about. Your body like it's the their they talked about it's like when something when you get no fight with a person and then in front of them, you're fine and then you walk away and cry that's your body needing to get out all of that energy and those chemicals and stuff because you get flooded with all these chemicals that are keeping your caveman body alive to get away from the the danger. Yeah, it's like. Shaking after a car accident or something like that. Exactly. Exactly or you Ha-, you have to like but you're idiot her system saying we gotta get this is this isn't normal. Yeah. But if you just collecting it then it's normalizing in your system and then you can that that adds to the that just opens the door anyway I'm I'm badly. Synopsis. Burn. Burn out the secret to unlocking the stress cycle so that you can basically work it out and stress out less recognize when it's happening more at some Horton thing. Yeah. Yeah. you start to writing really good automatically. Speaking, a fear for those people listen to the mini salad this week. And you heard in the background after your terrifying fucking ghost story in the middle of it. and. Then suddenly there was a bell that rang we all hurt and Karen was clearly in house. All Hanoch the dogs just like didn't bark they just stared. So angry and I was scared which of course, my reaction of fears anger just like what the? Going on. So I, walk out into the kitchen after we finish recording. So couple minutes later whatever and to go make dinner, and there's just a little pyrex bowl sitting on the floor in the middle of the kitchen. So they'd head like I looked at the photo it's like in the middle straight up glass bowl. Yes. So it almost seems like it fell off the it was on the. Next to saying okay. Somehow, and there it was a windy night. But no windows were open it sell off that that strain her is up the drying straight. Yes. Fell off that bounced on the floored didn't break even though it's a glass bowl and then was just sitting there. Waiting for me I'm still scared that doesn't explain it away for me at all my my new house is haunted I feel like if we would've known already because you've lived there for a little while it was haunted and that's just like such a baby moved like if that's how long it took to get the goes to like do something. Then I think we're fine like ten years. It will finally figure out how to close the door or whatever. Thank you. You know what I mean. Yes. So yeah but that was a legit because the the idea of a bell ringing that isn't any connected to any part of art and it's an old bell. It's not cool angle fucking I don't know. Are there newfangled bells? They're they're making new bells every day Georgia innovation bill the. Areas unbelievable. The fastest way that we're. Learning, but it really was like anything about it like a pyrex bullets glean. Yeah it's how. Passionate Senate landed face up whatever that means. In the middle of I just don't like it. I still don't like it but I don I can. Yell at the dogs. Oh you heard. Back we'll listening back. It was even scarier because it's like we all just like freeze. So I feel like listening to it like. You're listening to a podcast podcast and then all the sudden like everyone. For like it's unsettling. I have to listen back to that because I could I was talking. So I only heard the end of it but I saw Georgia's face change and I was like A. Or now. You need to do. More Hey speaking of. Making, it work we have. We have merch guy. Hey. On the my great Segue, I think you. Kind of my thing we have some new merch in the store. There's here's the thing fuck everyone mug. It's the Mug that says here's the thing and then when you take a sip on the bottom, it says fuck everyone, which is really clever in Caja. No art for work if you work at shirt. Or Children's. Playing place store clothing and play place. If you work inside the McDonald's play place your drink coffee all day. And then we have A, we have a new face mask like mask. They Matthew or face masks now of our actual logo on it. So exciting now there's two option. Yeah, and then we also have a stem list wine glass that has our logo on it. That's really cute. So so if you're trying to be classy. But it's still need to be tacky. We've got the wine glass for you. That's right. A check that out of my Tho, we also have exactly right merch on exactly right media DOT COM in the store. That's like really cute. I have the sticker on my laptop. Now my dad has the Hoodie and the hat and it's really good. I put that Hoodie on it is a cosies. And for the people that are like me, that don't want to a bunch of business on their sweatshirt. It's just the it's a black sweater with the white exactly right logo and that's it trauma in the great. The mug. Yeah. So check that out. You feel like it. If you don't, that's okay too, and also if there if you're looking for Merch for. Any of the other podcasts, it's all there on the right Dot. com. And Anna. Who's got great podcasts. MERCH is this podcast will kill you beautiful. They got great. Okay. As Does Bananas Bananas got into Merch before they even started there. They were like friends with talented artists. They've got it going immediately. They've got great stuff they do. Actually expanded at do you need a ride? We expanded our merch because we only ever had the sure. Yeah. Now we have other staff. Great Look. It's fun merchants the best speaking of Manas this week on bananas the guest is our friend of the family. One of the funniest people fortune five star She's just a just a dream person she's the greatest. Yes truly. The most hilarious and the best her videos on instagram that she does dancing eating ice cream videos. Oh my God and her her Brenda Videos. Brendam Oh, my God you. Fortune teamster put this in your. PUT IT in a file for when you are feeling us and you just need to not think about anything you bring up a video of fortune doing an impression of is it's Brenda Brenda. Yeah. Yeah She's either playing Brenda or dancing and eating ice cream or any of the other or just her stand up. She has a great sand of a special. Totally it came out just go enjoy fortune. She's really an amazing performance and she's great on Bananas This Week. So check that out. Yeah. Oh, aren't I said no guests Bridger Winegar, the great Gabe Liebman, who is a really amazing writer. I'm sure he was a performer originally Kazoo wasn't and he's been do he's written on all your favorite shows Brooklyn Nine, nine Penn fifteen and he's on their border. It's a Hilar- Stephen who was there to record it said it was a hilarious episode. Yeah. They're they're both the best in the gift is really funny. You'RE GONNA, I don't want to spoil it but. It's really good. Love it yeah. Check that out and that's our. That's our net worth our. Business you know his name be so happy last week, which was so weird is like we have this network cray and it's like actually it's a job. It's like a thing that we do and it's it's like an actual network and it's real which is crazy. full-time job. Yeah and so we had our Friday morning staff meeting as we always do and everyone catches each other up to what we're doing and this past week we we have hired lots of people lately and we had so many people at this time. We couldn't fit everyone on one screen yet on these zoom meeting and I would just like Holy Shit. This is a business it's cool and we have the best people. On the team it's generally do hand stop finding the best fucking people. It's great. We're so lucky. So thank you all for taking it so that we have a network that people would even want to pay. Totally it's only because you guys support us so much that we're able to do this awesomeness and bring friends and talented people fucking onto your ear holes. Yeah and and maybe Fedex some stuff here and there. Yeah. Hold on is that a ghost cat and SA-? fucking. Mimi. ME. Are you done. Come on. Come on. All right. That's over. What if she? If she jumped on the couch renowned went well well. I don't have a lot of I have unsolved mysteries new seasons good. Okay. How many episodes did you get into unsolved year? Four only? Did you get into the soon Nami the? Go Mariah. Ryan. Every episode. I really I'm blown away by unsolved mysteries. We've talked about it before they're doing incredible work. It's they've upped the. The. The it's almost like the HBO version of unsolved. Missing, they've done all this every time I go look at this. They just like everything is shot beautifully. It's all the families, all the people that that have been affected. It's these people telling their own story. It's just so well done. But this episode about that I believe it was two thousand twelve. Soon Army in Japan. And the after affects. Ghost ghost who don't know that they didn't serve by. A cal's me so sad. It's so sad and all the old footage of it was just like, Oh, my God. Yeah, it's a really big I mean it was it was I, remember watching the. Watching it as it happened, remember when that truck backed up and then drove away. From, the water and. It's also fascinating episode because you learn so much about that. The northern Japan's culture and I had no idea I didn't understand any of them and to have that. The monk that explains Rashly what kind of a lot of this is based in it's it's so fascinating. You will feel so sad and touching and beautiful, and she's hardly when they open the open the cafe. So everyone can because they the loss of life was so massive Ford this area of Japan. And then they just started trying to bring people together I mean just dislike it. Borat. Good. That was good. My sister actually called me and told me I have to watch it and then tell her if she could handle it. I called her and said, Oh, you can't more Atla yeah. Oh okay. Oh, my sister doesn't. She's not a fan of true crime or bad things. Scary things. I'm talking about. Borat. said. Laura. Okay sister try my son and. My sister. Scared of Boris can I please tell my truth or you just? Roll right over it. And I was like let's confirm. Let's confirm again. Yup. She scared of big mustaches. She's scared of pranks. Sorry. Go ahead. No nothing. It's just like I liked it. It's subversive and it's Kinda like it's a little anarchist. You know it's like, yeah, it's cool. Here's my problem by the time TV at night I need to relax. Bora. That's like what you've. That's me going doing it with friends. If I have people around by myself. I literally grind you're watching things where people are being pranked or like where someone's I feel like I have to go do it totally it's very fast forward through a lot of it it's it's super like Gross and silly and. In a lot of ways of course, but it also is like the most like punk rock thing I've seen in a long fucking time. Awesome. Anything else well, oh there's a show. So there's two versions of this show. There's a British in an American, they're both called. Had To really liked that character though that you just played the character of the girl that understands what you're talking about. The office in. The office no matter what you're saying Oh that happened on the office. Once every time got how about your life. What Pam did that on the office? Sorry. What was the name of the show? Be Like I can't talk. This show is called getting on and I'd seen I'd I seen the American version, which has Nishi NASC-. Nash Lori. I WanNa, say Laurie Kilmartin gives us a stand up comic that I love. Laurie metcalf from Rosaiah Oh, it's amazing. The nurse one yes. An Alex Laurie Metcalf. TV talked about this like years ago. I think it's just one of the best fucking shows on TV. Okay. It's. It's so brilliantly done if you are looking for anyth-, it's comedy but then there it's really poignant. It's really beautifully played. Yeah. I. Always. Knew it was based on a British show. Well here comes. Now that everything I'm watching is that I'm starting to get recommended. So the original getting on comes up and I start watching it it is unbelievable. The English British wet the American League American one is on. HBO. I. Just looked. British one. Yeah. The British one though is great. I haven't seen it yet the American ones on. HBO. If you WANNA watch it. It's amazing. But the British one I was watching it on Prime I. Guess. And it is just it's really really subtle and it's really fucking realistic. Really really envy. And it's so good. There's one part where. There's one part where an old lady because they're nurses in basically in aftercare. Yeah. Like a final final care final care section of the hospital. There's this one nurse such as so dry and she's so over it and she. And this Old Lady's yelling at her is like, yeah. I know it's a nightmare everybody says. The best reaction when someone's shitting. Alley agree with them. You're just like believe me. I was about to say. So hard being this bad I fucking now. So, if you're looking for if you're looking for anything the little laugh getting on. American. Getting on. British yeah. Go wrong can't, go wrong. Don't go wrong never go wrong never keep it up. there. I have to say now I'm going to stop eating Sour Candy. The nerds roped days are over. I went from nurture ups into it. Chew We. Sweet tarts area that has ruined my teeth and my stomach and my way of life and D I'm done. Okay I. have to get back to basics. Silly I've been trying well Vince Zeman helping me a lot to find the best cookies and cream ice cream. Oh, who makes the best bats a noble noble the effort yeah. Where where have you landed so far I mean haagen-dazs of course they're the like McConnell's is the big one. Yeah I mean it's never bad. It's never bad. There is a hug and dos limited edition that sometimes comes out sometimes doesn't Called midnight cookies and cream. Instead of the CREE, it's dark chocolate ICE CREAM With cookies in it. So it's like cookies chuck it's not cream it's cookies and cream. Yes I'm getting it's hearing it. Sounds, see I don't I don't love cookies and cream because as a child I honestly believed if you're going to get ice cream anything that wasn't chocolate based was a waste of your tie agree except for that. But. This is now you don't even have to fuck and deal with it. They're like Hey Georgia, we know what you love. And we want to give it to you. Am I wanNA take it and you know just get it get it in there the office. But? But the the ice cream days had to end for me because it I'm slowly trying to pair it down where it's like I had to do it I. I was just telling my friend this I had to do an ice cream embargo to do a serial embargo. And now, it's a candy embargo because it's like you're going to have to leave your house and be seen at some point. Stop acting like that's never going to happen. It's happening now and I'm still. Just, like come on light still happening, it's so fucking annoying it really it's kind of a pain in the ass. Who goes first so hold please hold on I'm sorry. But I thought I didn't have a lot but this is one thing I will share with you and I'm GonNa, send it to both of you right now, Georgia Stephen Ray on twitter. I get a tweet from. Someone named Addison pay. Addison at Addison Hair and they say, Hey, carragher Michael Myers says two arms to hold you with and then they send me pictures you can buy a thirty five foot Michael Myers inflatable Halloween thirty five. B Thirty okay thirty, five, fucking. Shit. God Kidney CBS. Distance. Amazing a landscape shot and Michael Myers is humongous. Foreground. He has anything fucking knife and he's kind of staring at your window. Clear. Your window was five stories high, which reminds us to talk about the new MFM animated by Larry Yes. Yes. Just really quick though yeah. The inflatable Mike Michael Myers three thousand dollars also for rich people only. But. Thank you out of San because honestly I looked at that message and I was just like this is simply the best thing. This Halloween is really brought it in terms of. Joy. badly-needed. Joy. Wait I'm I'm gonNA write Addison Back Right now which I say to them hey, Addison pans. Thanks for the this is twitter Dow. So let's not be too. Okay. Thanks for that L. O. L.. Akzo acts out M FM. Thanks for the LULLS. And then put a then put a Gif of a kitten. With a cake. Do it. Hey, Addison. Thanks for the L. O. ELL's. Gets that. Call that perfect. That's now that's just like a little Easter egg for people to find on twitter. Okay. Sorry. What were you trying to I was saying who goes first? podcast of wait. No I thought you were. I thought you just brought up for mandated. Yes. An animated the new one about your skeleton, your ten foot skeleton and suzy in the fucking buying office at Sale Depot Sue. Roy here's a deep cut that I wonder if anybody noticed but me what sue is doing when he's trying to explain to everybody how great it's going to be is exactly the cocaine bear what he's learning at the yeah. He's got a cigarette in her hand and she's got the hairs coming off of her head. She's just doing a mirror image of cocaine bear with a whiteboard pointing at why. But that's just like, oh, it's good. It's just a little bit of a call. There's so many details and people kind of keep talking about the details. It's the cutest. The cutest cutest thing only way you're I I. Okay. I'm gonNA write because I went last the I was it was just me by myself last night. So right gophers. Thirty million women are impacted by weekend or thinning hair if you're among them no, you're not alone and that there's a solution you can trust to deliver results. Thousands of women have taken back control of their hair with neutral with many users raving that the supplement not only transform their hair but restored their confidence to niche offers to targeted formulas for women that are clinically shown to. 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That's hellofresh dot com slash mfm eighty code mfm eighty for a total of eighty dollars off across five. Including free shipping on your first box. Additional restrictions apply please visit fresh dot com for more details. Goodbye. Now. Let's get serious. All right. Okay. Here's a Taffy. But. Unnecessary. This is the Sixteenth Street. Baptist church bombing. WHOA yeah. Okay. So I got information from the Zinn, education project website FBI DOT GOV history dot Com wikipedia the and then I listened to a podcast it's called the Black Story But Blanca Spelled B. L. V. C. K. story hosted by a guy named Marquees. All right. This is a story that we all know that you know know. Know how important it is to the civil rights movement but don't know, I. Don't know a ton of details about it. I just knew about this tragic event. So I thought it'd be good to of look more into it and and have some background. Absolutely. Okay. So Birmingham Alabama and the nineteen sixties was nationally known as one of America's most racially discriminatory violent and segregated city's. Martin, Luther King of course had been. He'd been arrested there in nineteen sixty three while leading a nonviolent campaign of demonstrations against segregation and he described Birmingham as quote probably the most thoroughly segregated city in the United States. Throughout the Civil Rights, Movement Birmingham is a major site of protest marches and sit INS and met with brutality by police and violence from its white ones and white supremacist plant homemade bombs in homes and churches. So often that the city gets nickname bombing ham. Yeah. in fact, Birmingham, his home to one of the strongest and most violent chapters of the KKK they openly back then governor. George Wallace who was an outspoken advocate for segregation total piece of Shit. As well as the city's police commissioner, Eugene Bull Connor who was notorious for using violence against demonstrators I mean, it's just this like fucking firecracker of a city you know Yep and it's because it's because of these reasons that civil rights activists made Birmingham major focus of their efforts to desegregate the deep South it's going into the eye of the storm. Armed with only nonviolent. Options, which is fucking incredible and so brave I can't even imagine. Yeah. Local black churches are fundamental in the Organization of these protests and members of the KKK routinely call in bomb threats to churches. They wanted to disrupt the civil rights, meetings and Church services alike that families go to on Sunday. Mornings and the the three storey Sixteenth Street Baptist Church which has a predominantly black congregation. It's also a rallying point for the city's black population and a routine meeting place for civil rights leaders for organizing and educating the marchers Which of course means it's a target for the racists. The morning of Sunday September Fifteenth nineteen sixty three was a typical Sunday morning at the sixteen th Street Baptist Church. That day was having its Youth Day festivities and around hundred church members were already there including kids attending the Sunday school classes and everyone's getting ready for the start of the services at eleven am and the sermon that day that was to be given was called a love that forgives is from Luke Twenty three, thirty four in which Jesus is on the Cross and ask God to forgive those crucifying him. In the basement women's lounge five little girls excitedly changing into their choir robes because in preparation for youth day, they were going to sing in the choir and ushers for the services. At approximately ten, twenty, two am annonymous man calls the church and when the call is answered says the words, three minutes and then hangs up. But. Not One minute. Later, a bomb made a fifteen sticks of dynamite that if it planted under the steps of the Church close to the basement explodes and blows a crater five feet wide and two deep in the exact spot where the five little girls were getting ready Addie. Mae. Collins. WHO's fourteen niece McNair who's eleven carole Robertson who's fourteen and Cynthia Wesley, also, fourteen are all killed instantly. The Fifth Grow Adam as younger sister twelve year old Sarah Collins Survives but has twenty one pieces of glass embedded in her embedded interface, and she's blinded in one eye in later recollections the bombing she says that in the moments immediately before the explosion she watched as her sister Addie tied and other girls dress sash right before it happened the explosion at shaken the entire building and blew a hole over seven feet in diameter in the churches real rear wall destroying the rear steps to the church. The blast was so strong. It blew passing motorist out of his car and other cars I. Know It's fucking insane. And other cars parked near the site of the blast were destroyed and windows of properties more than two blocks away from the church were also damaged. That's what insane explosion was and the only stained glass window and the Church that doesn't completely shatter is shows Chrysler a group of little children. Violence escalates in Birmingham in the hours following the bombing, and you know there's just this outpouring of anger about what's happened. You know secondly, the children are involved and you know it's Just everyone's horrified by it and then two more black youths Johnny Robinson who sixteen and Virgil wear who's thirteen? Are. Shot to death within seven hours of the bombing Robinson is shot in the back by policemen as he runs away down an alley. Heat is at the hospital and where a shot in the cheek and chest with a revolver. So he's in a residential suburb, fifteen miles north of the city and a sixteen year old white team teen named Larry. Sims. He's in a car. He sees where on the handlebars of a bike and fires at him reportedly with his eyes closed he seems later convicted. Of Second Degree manslaughter and a judge suspense, his sentence and imposes two years probation instead in all at least twenty people are injured from the initial bombing and the ensuing riots. The death of the girls draws national attention to Birmingham Martin Luther King sends a telegram to Governor Wallace after the attack saying quote, the blood of our little children is on your hands yeah yeah. and. In fact, a week before the bombing Wallace had set an interview with the New York Times that he believed Alabama needed quote a few first class funerals to stop racial integration who? On September eighteenth over eight thousand mourners attend the funerals for the three three of the little girls at Reverend John Puerto Sixth, Avenue Back Baptist Church the fourth little girl had a smaller private service. Martin Luther King also attends and addresses the mourners with the speech saying this tragic day may cause the whiteside to come to terms with this with it's conscience. In spite of the darkness of this hour, we must not become bitter. We must not lose faith in our white brothers. Life is hard at times as hard as crucible steel but today you do not walk alone by September, twentieth the FBI is able to confirm that the explosion was caused by device that was purposely planted beneath the steps of the church close to the girls bathroom so it's right there. some wire pieces of red plastic are discovered and they think it was part of a timing device within days of the bombing investigators start to focus their attention on the KKK. A splinter group known as the Haba Boys. The. Boys formed earlier in nineteen, sixty three because they felt that the KKK wasn't doing enough to combat desegregation. Had previously been linked to several bomb attacks at black owned businesses and the homes of black community leaders throughout the spring and summer of nineteen, sixty three, and they're considered one of the most violent groups in the south and are later found to be responsible for the nineteen sixty-one attacks on the freedom writers at the trailer is bus station in Birmingham as well. The COBB boys have fewer than thirty active members and among them are Thomas Blatant Junior Herman Cash Robert Chambliss and Bobby Cherry who eventually become the main suspects in the bombing on the sixteen th Street church investigators gather numerous witness statements and they say that they saw a group of white men in a Turquoise Chevrolet near the church in the early hours of the morning of September fifteenth and they indicate that a white man exited the car and walked toward the steps, the church, and then physical descriptions closely matched with two of the main suspects. Chambliss is question by the FBI on September twenty six and three days later he's indicted on charges of illegally purchasing and transporting dynamite. But. No federal charges are filed against him or any of his fellow conspirators in relation to the bombing on May thirteenth and nineteen sixty-five about two years later, local investigators and the FBI formally name blatant cash Chambliss and Cherry as the four perpetrators of the bombing with Robert Chambliss, the likely ringleader of the four but the director of the FBI fucking J. Edgar. Hoover formerly blocks any impending federal prosecutions against the subjects he blocks it. No one's allowed to move forward at all and he refuses to disclose any evidence. His agents had obtained with the state or federal prosecutors why? Because he's a fucking racist piece of Shit? Give it I mean did he have to explain why? What the legal? Reason was I don't think he does in nineteen, Sixty, eight, he cl the FBI closest the case. Officially. And any files that are pertaining to the case are sealed by his order. The Sixteenth Street Baptist Church bombing remains unsolved for around eight fucking years. But when William Baxley is the Attorney General, of Alabama, in hundred, ninety one, he works on reopening the case within one week of being sworn into office baxley researches original police files and determines that they're mostly worthless. So he requests access to the original FBI files on the case, and he's met with resistance from the Federal Agency. And he publicly threatens the Department of Justice for withholding evidence that could result in the prosecution of the bombing suspects in. This will finally the F. B. I. gives him their findings and J. Edgar Hoover had died in nineteen, seventy two. So it seems like maybe someone else was finally able to hand those over He also seeks out the key witnesses and starts like building trust with them and they. Eventually identify identified Chambliss as the individual placed the bomb beneath the church and they actually also gather evidence. Proving Chambliss had purchased dynamite from a store in Jefferson County less than two weeks before the bomb was planted and he uses a witness testimony and this new evidence to finally formely construct a case against Robert Chambliss. So on November Fourteenth Nineteen, seventy seven, almost fifteen years after the bombing. That's how long it took. Robert Chambliss now seventy three years old stands trial in Birmingham's Jefferson county courthouse after being indicted by a grand jury the month before on four counts of murder. At a pretrial hearing on October Eighteenth Judge Wallace Gibson rules that Chambliss will only be tried for the murder of Carol McNair and he wasn't going to be charged in relation to the other three deaths. That's so crazy about it, and I urge everyone to go look at civil rights era of photos in color because the black and white makes it seem so long ago and it's fucking not and in fact, these one of the little girls who was killed her friend at the time her childhood friend was Condoleeza Rice so that you Syria so that tells you that how how recent it was. Yeah. Yeah. They they would not have been. The ladies now they were. Was Not that long ago and yeah, it's just it's horrifying. So one of the key witnesses that testified for the prosecution. Chambas trial is reverend. Elizabeth. Co cobbs who happens to be Chambliss his own niece and I mean the the fear that the witness must have had testifying against these people who were just clearly. Terrorists yeah. The other terrorists? Exactly. So it takes a lot of huts butter to do that. She states that her uncle repeatedly informed her he had been engaged in what he referred to as a one man battle against black people since the nineteen forties. She also says that on the day before the bombing he had told her he had enough dynamite in his possession to quote flatten half of Birmingham in his closing statements before the jury on November seventeenth. Baxley acknowledges that Chambliss is not the sole perpetrator of the bombing and says that if denise were alive right now she'd be turning twenty six because it happened to be her birthday that exact same day. The jury deliberates for six hours and on November Eighteenth Nineteen, seventy, seven, they thanked. Chambliss guilty of the murder of Carol Denise McNair and sentenced him to life imprisonment. He tries to appeal by saying that the evidence presented was circumstantial and that the fourteen year delay between the crime and his trial violated his constitutional right to a speedy trial. Bullshit, at I mean yeah. this appeals dismissed and dies in prison on October twenty, ninth nine, hundred, eighty, five at the age of eighty one and nineteen ninety, five, ten years after Chambliss dies the FBI reopens their investigation into the Church bombing as part of a coordinated effort between local state and federal governments to review cold cases of the civil rights era. Good. I mean it took to nineteen ninety five from the sixties to to give any attention to these cases. It's horrific. They unseal nine thousand pieces of evidence previously gathered by the FBI in the nineteen sixties. Many of those documents relating to the sixteen th, Street Baptist Church bombing had not been made available to Baxley in the nineteen seventies even though he you know was threatening them to get them released right? Senior Agent Bill Fleming sign the bombings case and he recruits Birmingham Police Department Sergeant Ben Huron to work to work on it fulltime. So initially reluctant to take the case. Given that more than one hundred potential witnesses had died in the decades since the bombing but nineteen ninety-six here members thinking that it was the ultimate cold-case and said. Quote. But if we're going to do it, we need to do it right because this is the last time it would be feasible to try to reinvestigate. For nearly fifteen months. And they scour case files with a singular focus on finding new leads, and they eventually tracked down Bobby Cherry one of the original suspects and they interview him for four hours. Cherry, get so pissed off about being interrogated like that that he calls a press conference to proclaim his innocence and it makes National News, and because of the FBI's phone start ringing and Fleming said quote this was the best thing to happen to our investigation because I started getting witnesses and people that were able to give us information nine. Yeah. The same witness accounts would eventually implicate cherry at his trial. Cherry pleads not guilty to the charges he chooses not to testify in his own behalf but survivor Sarah Collins route off she testifies against him. Can you imagine. On May twenty, second, two, thousand, and two. After almost seven hours of deliberation. The jury forewoman announces the verdict which convicts Bobby Cherry on four counts of first degree murder and sentenced him to four life terms relatives of the four little girls openly weep in relief. He is. Yeah. Heat is cancer on November eighteenth two, thousand and four at age seventy, four car serrated still. So more tips rolling and other witnesses step forward and Fleming in on expand their focus to Tommy Blanton another original suspect and discover that. Agents in the nineteen sixties had planted listening devices in his home. Oh right. They they find the old reel to reel tapes and scratchy audio in which Blanton explains to his wife and another man, the details of how the bomb plot unfolded. They have audio of it. She's it. No one ever. Passed on. So they relied on those tapes. At the trial and a jury in two thousand and one took a couple of hours to render a guilty verdict against plantain on state murder charges he sentenced to life imprisonment and he dies. June twenty, six, twenty, twenty so. A couple months ago couple months ago. Yeah. The fourth original suspect Herman cash unfortunately had died in one, thousand, nine, hundred, four, seventy, five. So he never gets punished. He never gets any fucking punishment for this horrific crime that he committed. Fleming in. both of Said, the investigation was the most rewarding case they ever worked on said quote you feel like you have. You feel like you've done the job even though it looked like a tremendous uphill battle, we finally got justice for the little girls outrage over the murder of the four girls became a turning point in civil rights in the civil rights movement. I think a lot of people. who had been you know who knew what was going on and kind of had been in the periphery. You know suddenly realized how dire and how violent and how awful. You know what was going on and it was a turning point for them and it builds support for the struggle to end segregation. Tim After the bombing. JFK is assassinated and he of course, was an ardent supporter of the civil rights. 'cause he had proposed the Civil Rights Act of nineteen, sixty, three and the movement has galvanized by the outpouring of grief over his staff. So on July second nineteen, sixty, four now president Lyndon Johnson signs into Effect Civil Rights Act of nineteen, sixty four. Which prohibits discrimination based on race color religion gender, or national origin to ensure full equal rights of African Americans before the law and the voting rights act of nineteen sixty five is also passed to overcome legal barriers at the state and local levels that prevents African Americans from exercising their right to vote because you'll get beaten. To the. fucking. Polling places if you try to vote whether it's legal or not. When it was, you will be attacked right very relevant today. Sadly, the shit that we're seeing and the shit that we never even understood was happening or wouldn't have. It never makes the news the idea that if you if you vote in a certain area of say Atlanta, you're going to have to stand in line for eight hours they'll make way to make make it. That way and you don't get time off work, you cannot get paid to leave your fucking job and go. That's not thing. Right. So following the bombing, the Sixteenth Street Baptist Church remains closed for over eight months as repairs are conducted and it's declared a national historic landmark in two thousand and six, and it's still an active place of worship today fifty years after the bombing. On May Twenty four twenty thirteen President Barack Obama awarded a posthumous congressional gold medal to the four girls killed in the nineteen sixty three Baptist Sixteenth Street Baptist Church Bombing Addie Mae Collins, who has an outgoing artistic girl she would go door to door in the white neighborhoods to sell aprons and pot holders that her mother had stitched to help make ends meet Carol Robertson who. Was a good student. She loved reading and dancing she sang in her elementary school choir and played the clarinet and was a member of the Jack and Jill of America Club. It's a civic minded use in family organization Cynthia Wesley who was raised by a single mother. But stayed with her adoptive parents she can attend a better school where she excelled at math reading and band. And Denise McNair. Eleven years old who performed in plays dance routines and poetry readings to raise money for muscular dystrophy research and that is the sixteenth. Street. Baptist church bombing well. Milly to Jericho and Daniel Henderson, and we're the host of I saw what you did a brand new podcast about the fun of watching movies on the exactly right network each Tuesday we pick a different theme like really bad boyfriends great seventies, apartments, Neighborhood Curry. And hysterical women who have every right to be hysterical. Then we picked to films that best showcase it it's like having your coolest single childless chain-smoking on hand pick movies you've never heard of or always meant to watch. You'll definitely build your movie knowledge and Fill your watch lists. If you love movies are sick of falling asleep to the same Sitcom every night or just need a break from the daily fresh horrors of the world tune in every Tuesday to i. saw what you did starting on November tenth and be sure to subscribe on Apple podcast deter or wherever you like to listen and find us on instagram and twitter at I saw pod for all your double feature needs. Let's take a incredibly left turn. because. Mine is one of the stories this week that I of. Read a bunch of times. But it's it's just kind of like pure insane chaos. So I've always just gone like I don't even know how to research that I'm just GonNa put aside. Yeah but it is. It's just it's kind of one of the class, a classic true crime what in the living fuck are you talking about story? This is the story. Of the California which killers, some people call them the San Francisco which killers. Okay. But they did it all over the stage they crossed they just went up and down California just doing whatever the fuck so crazy and insane. So I don't know if I know this one, it's. It's funny I've I've like almost picked it. So many times. Yeah. But there's a certain level of just like I don't even know. What like it's basically to mentally ill PL. Then who then mixed and drugs and mixed in it's a folly a do they call? You know when? When it's basically they're both, they're sharing a delusion. No thanks to say this is we shouldn't do this crazy. It's and also they're just not around other people because they're doing drugs and telling each other what the plan is and it's you know it's one of these stories so. Got Information of course, from WIKIPEDIA OXYGEN DOT COM. Whole article on it. There's an ID series called one couples, kill that has tons of information and detail although they. They were wrong about a couple of things where I'm a some of the math mapping on this might be inaccurate because he they the whole thing ends in Santa Rosa which is the town one town north of Petaluma yeah. But they they say it all ended in Napa County and I'm like. There's some weird wine snob that just tried to talk about Napa in this story because that baby that's Noma county and. Then there's On medium DOT COM, there's a really awesome comprehensive. Called The San Francisco which killers by Delaney are Bartlett which is great. So so it starts in Nineteen eighty-one. A twenty three year old woman named Karen Barnes she's an aspiring actress. Originally from Georgia and cheese moved to the HAIGHT Ashbury. Neighborhood in San? Francisco. To pursue acting career. So she I think she was trying to go to. A stopover point before she got Los Angeles. playhouses thereat like theater. There's theater there. And there's a couple like you know there's a couple of theaters, schools and stuff but. So it is funny to me GonNa pursue acting career. So I'm going to California but I'm GonNa go to Stockton Right. Away from where it all goes down where it actually happens. Yeah. That's fine. I did the exact same route myself. And I also lived in the Haight Ashbury and in the idea one couples killed episode that I watched I was positive. They were showing the front of the first department we lived in San Francisco. Upper Haight. Yeah and it was one of those Victorian split level. Yeah. That we lived on the first floor but there was also a base there's a basement apartment first floor second floor. Yeah. And so she lives in a place like that. And she lived in the in the basement apartment. So she's very open minded very interested in spiritual aspects of a recent seventies. counterculture movement is just kind of like free spirit open-minded interested in like being around interesting people. Yeah. So one night she goes to a party. She meets this couple whose talking about meditation. They're talking about psychic experiences and psychic behavior, and she's just drawn to their outsiders spiritual beliefs. And starts talking to them and they introduce themselves Michael and Susan Bear. So as they get to know chatting they let her know that they need a place to stay so. She is very open, minded and generous, and she's like, Oh, I have an apartment you can come and stay in my apartment in the Haight Ashbury and they do they end up moving in with her so it it goes bad relatively quickly. Because, they end up just being kind of like these old hippie drug dealers and they're both super weird and super their combative and they're weird and it spits kind of strange. So on the morning of March seventh, Nineteen eighty-one police respond to a neighbor's call about a disturbance in Karen's apartment and when they go inside the basement apartment, they find strange drawings all over the walls. unrecognizable strange symbols and the name Susan written all around them they they look through the apartment and in the kitchen they find Karen's body wrapped in a blanket her skulls been crushed and she's been stabbed thirteen times in the neck and face God. One of Karen's friends here's a something's going on at Karen's apartment so she rushes over and. When she finds out the Karens been murdered she tells the police the Cairns new roommates were these bizarre drug-dealing hippies and that that's they should start looking for those people when they speak to Karen's mother. She tells the police that although the couple. Went by Michael and Susan bare their actual last name was carson. which was a key Key, element to know for them to know but when the police tried to locate the couple for questioning nowhere to be found. So. So Michael Carson, who his first name was actually James. Not Michael. He's born in one, thousand, nine fifty grows up in Oklahoma to a regular middle class family. He's interested in history and religion and philosophy and he. goes end up going to the University of Iowa to study, and that's where he meets his first wife So they get married in the seventy s they have a daughter named Jennifer and they moved to Arizona. Now the wife it is the breadwinner of the family while James at the time stays home. He he's basically a house husband. He takes care of Jennifer and he sells pot for like extra cash the first I was like. Take. The gender, wait a minute the don't. Okay. Oh I get it. Yeah so it's alternative for the time. But he is a loving husband and in that a cup couples kill the daughter Jennifer actually speaks on camera and she said he was a loving father. She loved growing up with him. He was great. Yeah. Wow. So as years go by his personality begins to change, which is usually the story, right? Yeah. So he becomes more and more antisocial starts having irrational angry outbursts regularly. And that coupled with his refusal to get a job leads to. The couple's divorce in nineteen, seventy seven. So then meanwhile, Susan. Of the Michael and Susan couple she her name's originally Susan Barnes and she. had spent the sixties as a typical housewife and a mother of two two boys in Scottsdale, Arizona. But as the counter culture the popularity of it begins to rise in the late sixties seventies she starts experimenting with acid with mescaline with peyote and. In this the part that makes my skin crawl, she starts hanging out with our son and their friends. Who are all in high school and she even sleeps with her sons. Friends also known as statutory rape and word on the street is that she slept with thousand fifty like high school boy. Now whether that's gossip s she's just the weird one. Yeah. I just ache for those boy. Yeah who had a mother that was that? Invasive. Of their lives and disrespectful and then also clearly not. Okay. Yeah. Around the thirty five Susan begins. Having. Visions. While, she's on drugs but also even when she's sober, she always believed that she had psychic powers but now she's actually having these these visions. Or Hallucinations and she's taking them very seriously. But no one else does in fact, her husband's like this is it for me and he divorces her. Susan though sees this as an opportunity to reinvent herself. She changes her name from Susan with an us to Susan with a Z.. Disease in the middle. Keep. Zero. Mess and then she kicks one of the curb and gets crazy and puts us now it's I'm sorry and I know we've said this time and again. But if you're micromanaging the spelling of your name as a way to express yourself, take a fucking pottery class like actually get into what self-expression is it has nothing to do with the spelling of name. There's no, there's no or why that that's going to substitute for your buck and creativity no, an E. I g. h. instead of a why means nothing about you as a person actually do something do something re-learn teruo reading there's so many. stressors. WHO Play. Play. Write a play about the alphabet and how much it means to you fucking lunatic. Okay. Now here's the real. She decides that she is going to become Muslim. But of course, not an in the actual official sachs not in a in a real way she is she kind of adopts. The Muslim. Religion and then decides to fit it to her lifestyle in nineteen seventy four. She is a medical induced vision instructing her to find a soulmate and a loyal disciple which I'm also in the market for. These days. I don't just want some of my life I want someone to boss around. It's beautiful. So I'm sure you'll find it care. Thank you I I believe. So three years later at a party in nineteen seventy seven meets James Carson just happened to be at the same fucking. Houses in I mean, they're just like to crazy magnets drawing together. So they made it this party he introduces himself he says, Hi, my name's James. She immediately says, no, your name's Michael No. Yes. Should. She says she had a vision about him and that he is he is essentially the Angel Michael who fought the devil. Which? Not sure about that. But he immediately is like you're right. My Name's Michael immediately goes. So now she's actually like here he is because he's my he's my follower I'm going to be able to tell them what to do. He's actually saying sure I'll change my name I just met this lady. So it's like the it's love at first sight. Yeah. They hit it off in the worst way the immediately get together. As we used to say in high school. And soon after Susan, with Z., has another vision instructing them to change the that they need that they need to have the last name bear. Bear bear they're like the animal. A. They become Susan Michael Bearup but not legally. So as Michael Falls depot deeper under Susan's spell. Michael's first wife grows increasingly concerned for herself and her daughter safety rightfully so so She's afraid Michael might try to kidnap JEN takeaway. Or do something to the family. So she cuts all ties with him stops talking to him entirely and anyone else who knows him basically so that he can never find them again that he can't find his daughter Susan and Michael Travel Around in search of spiritual enlightenment and while dealing drugs. They claim to be quote, Vegan Muslim warriors of God. But of course, their beliefs is entirely made up and has absolutely nothing to do with an in fact is Mostly in direct conflict with attendance of Islam just. A. Starting with dealing with drug dealing drugs I mean it's insane. and. Then in that, they're kind of like spiritual quest Michael Learns about an ancient sect called the Hush Ashim. and. They were basically this this sect of assassins they would smoke hash and then go kill their enemies and it's where the word assassin comes from AXA. Just a little piece of Trivia. So he decides that's what they are and that's what he wants to do. Susan's like, yeah. But we kill witches. And basically, they got it into their drug addled brains that there were witches everywhere and the witches were using mental powers to control others and try to control them so that it's their mission in life to kill witches and drugs drugs baby it's like. When you come up with theories about what your life is all about. and. It has to do with killing other people in a righteous way. Again and check in with an adult. Or a qualified a psychiatric right check yourself into. Rehab medical. Start with Rehab then go to a mental hospital. Oh. That's right. They don't have those anymore right? Because, we've cut all mental health services. Okay. So Susan and Michael. They start out together in Arizona inside Nineteen seventy-eight eight, they take a trip to Europe the kind of trying to preach this religion that they're making up at one point there in England they stop at Stonehenge, they get married quote unquote beneath the moonlight. LEGAL MARRIAGE JUST A. Weird pseudo. Hippie. Moonlight ceremony. But soon, they run out of money in one, thousand, nine, hundred, eighty they they make it to San Francisco to the Haight Ashbury and at some point there they go to this party and. They freak out almost everybody at the Party except for twenty three year old aspiring actress Karen Barnes. Who is basically there to kind of be like? You know I'm I want to talk to in meet weird people an ex- ex- explore what life outside of what I already know. It'd be like hearted and to see what the universe hold for her yet. So yes. Yeah. She's a very spiritual person herself. She's intrigued by when they're when they're speaking about this religion kind of thing that they're talking about. You know she wants to hear it. and. As I said, she lets them come and stay at her apartment. But Michael and Susan actually want more. They want to join in on their relationship and book and they want to become a throttle with her 'cause. She's a gorgeous you know. At Blonde, I mean, she looks like an actress. Yeah. So she declines and that's when Susan tells my goal Karen is a wit. Yeah. So when Karen comes home from work on March sixth, Nineteen eighty-one Michael follows her into the kitchen beats her in the head with a with a skillet. Then grabs a knife and stabs her of thirteen times. they arrest Karen's head on a pillow rapper body in a blanket, and then draw these bizarre religious symbols all over the walls and the name Susan. With Z so then they and then of course, they get out of town and what they do is they hitchhike all the way up to Oregon they get grants pass. And they fought there they find. So it's kind of out in the wilderness and they walk in the Wilderness. Until they find this abandoned shack so they hide out there and while the investigation of Karen's murders taking place in San Francisco and that runs cold because they can't find the the bears and So basically Michael and Susan or squatting in his cabin for months. At one point they run out of supplies. So while Susan stays behind in in the Shack Michael hitchhiked to Los Angeles. It's yeah which I don't I'm like, why would how `bout you just go to the nearest town? Yeah but HE BASE I. They. Didn't give a reason but. He leaves for awhile to basically go get supplies When he gets back by the time, he gets back Susan starving and she's delusional in this cabin and they eventually get discovered by a park ranger who kicks them out and like you can't squat here. So they head South and Hitchhike back down into California and they get all the way down near Big Sur and they get picked up by a really nice local who offers to let them stay in a treehouse he's built on his property. Near The von, the ventanas wilderness, which is that big beautiful like four state area by big Sur. But and they stay there for a little while. But of course, they become combative with the man. They argue they freak him out with their weird beliefs and eccentricities. Apparently Susan had this weird habit of smiling at really inappropriate times and I saw a little bit of video for in. It's really scary. It's very odd. Yeah. She smiles and laughs when you're not supposed to. Yeah so In spring of one, thousand, nine, hundred to the man finally kicks them out of the Tree House. He's like I've been nice enough to you to retaliate Susan and Michael Rob his house And set it on fire Shit Yep, and then they basically run and hitchhike back north. So they're now they're going back up north to humble. And they've stolen a handgun from this man's house. So they had that with him, they make it all the way to a town called Alder Point in Humboldt County where they find work and housing working on a we'd farm. So it's an early eighties farm. So must have been highly secretive. Kind of scary earned but also in Humboldt, it's like in the early eighties. There's nothing up there. Basically, it's real wild and you know of sparsely populated. So. They waste no time in reviewing how weird they are to the fellow pot farm workers launching into their belief about anarchy wit killing witches they are desire for revolution, their prediction of a nuclear apocalypse in the not too distant future. They're also constantly bickering they're just all around not the best ray and basically everyone kind of like bum out tolerates them until the pot farm owners friend Clark Stevens shows up to work on the farm to and Clark is is a really outgoing gregarious guy he loves to drink. He loves to party and immediately Susan and Michael don't like him and butt heads with him. they're offended by his behavior by his partying ways and by his talk scoring and whatever and him just being himself Susan calls it an affront to Allah. Okay me which again. They're not actually talking about right. You are Muslim and immediate. Yeah exactly. You're the definition of an affront Allah. So when Clark arrives for work one day in May of Nineteen ninety-two Susan tries to keep him from coming onto the property. He's angry he cusses Susan out trying to get her to move and basically Susan goes back to Michael and says he swore at me which is the equivalent of rape and he is definitely a witch and you have to kill him. So Michael takes the stolen. Handgun. And shoots Clarke in the face. Then he dumps lighter fluid and this is so it's out on this farm where they basically are the farmers in the middle of the woods keep the pot hidden. Yeah. So there there are they're kind of in the middle of nowhere anyway, then So he kills Clark by shooting him then He. Tries to light the body on fire to get rid of the evidence, but it doesn't burn entirely so. He dumps a bunch of fertilizer on it in the woods and then just leaves the body they're and they're on the run again. Yeah, so Clark Stevenson's report reported missing to the Humboldt County police and two weeks after the confrontation. A dog on the farm is found playing with what they think is a ball and when they get up close, it's a human skull. Jeez. So they call the police. It's a pot farm in one, thousand, nine, hundred two and they called they have to call the police. We something terrible has happened because I'm sure deep down they were like. Yes is case scenario of are missing friends normally. So Police Find Clark's burnt remains buried in the woods and Michael and Susan of course, the prime suspects. So on the run again, Michael and Susan make it down to Trinity County, which is kind of right over the. State line they're Kinda Wear Eureka is. So they're on the run right in their hitchhiking and at one point there there in the woods somehow kind of hiking through and they see all these police with flashlights and police dogs, and they think the cops have found them what was actually happening it was a search and rescue team or looking for a lost hiker. So they both and I'm sure they're still on drugs. So they dumped both their backpacks and run in different directions when police. Find those abandoned backpacks and search them they find pot they find thirty, eight caliber caliber blitz they find. An ID for a man named Richard Harada, and they also find an anarchist manifesto entitled cry for war. Why did they lethal backpacks? Why didn't they take? They panicked they. They thought the cops 'cause they were heavy. And they needed to run. So they just dumped them in ran I guess That's my that's my theory, and also that's what the be roll in the episode of one couples kill made it look like it could have been. They'd already taken them off I don't know yeah. Basically this. This manifesto features a hit list of prominent figures It declares the God wants them to kill Ronald Reagan, who is the current president and Johnny Carson and the reason was because their first middle and last names both of those men's I mental last names each had six letters a six, six, six. Oh my so there. So we're talking drugs, drugs, drugs that's like the drug is thinking of all time what The police lift fingerprints off the manuscript they ide-. Michael WHO's wanted for questioning in the murder of Clark Stevens. And because it contained death threats to the president, the Secret Service also notified on it. So Michael is on the run and he makes it all the way down to Alhambra. Right, in southern California. So one night he's walking down the street in Alhambra and. He's I. They ID him mistakenly for rape suspect crave a rape that had just happened back. So the description matched Michael because he had this big crazy beard and long dark hair. So. So the COP basically. Gets out, he's still has the gun that he used to co- Clark but he's hiding it basically in his crotch like in the front of his pants. So the COP makes him get down on the ground and lay on the ground and then he pats down like that. So he doesn't feel the gun because it's in its cry. So. Then the COP puts him in the COP car and takes him into the police station to take his picture to be identified he tells them his name is Richard Urata because that's the name that. They had so but he gets his picture taken they fax it to the hospital the rape victim sees the picture. It says that's not the guy. So. The officer ends up letting him on now. Yeah and then when the next. Shift officer comes on duty. It's I guess part of the job they go through the patrol car and that shift officer Oh sorry. He finds the gun that Michael had had in his crotch. He had taken it out of his pants and shoved it into the backseat of the COP car so that it wasn't on his person went into the station. So what once they found that they knew this guy actually they should have kept him. They put out an ap be for Richard Urata. They run ballistics tests on that gun and find out. It's the same gun that killed Clark Stephen Slow Yeah. So now they know the guy that they had was actually a murder. Yeah. But it was the early eighty s where they did have a database but they didn't think to check right and it probably didn't work that fast either. It was really slow computers where you put in your request comes back four days later. Yeah. Okay. So Susannah Michael had a plan they to meet up in Sonora California, which is a little mountain town that's like east of Stockton and a little bit north of US seventy. I. Nowhere, basically, they end up meeting back up and find each other in. Sonora Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I I mean cell phones no cellphones no nothing modern and they end up meeting each other. They ended up eventually getting back to Portland, because they had a friend that lived there So there were some to crash of course, almost immediately, the friends like you guys gotta get the fuck out here you're the worst and they do peacefully except they steal another thirty eight pistol that was at the fronts house. So they stay on the run till January of Nineteen eighty-three when they are at that point there hitchhiking Bakersfield and they're picked up by thirty year old named John Hellier. So John, he's driving a pickup truck he's going north. That's where they want to go. So he picks up Susan's in the Middle Michaels on the other side. And relatively soon after they get picked up. Susan. Let's Michael No very discreetly that she knows. John's a witness show. So they ended up taking the the. Base, they end up driving up to snow McCarthy from Bakersfield. So I think this guy was probably thinking had this long trip to go on and he didn't wit it's five hours so he doesn't want to go by himself. So he picks up this Cup like, Oh, at least we can hey yeah but of course. They're saying, how subtle do you think she really was letting him know that he the drivers which I've. Rodrigues. Try. And regular subtle are very different things. I wonder if there's just like nf I smile real big you'll know that we're there's a witch in town. So. And then there's all you know immediately there's conflict because he has country music on the radio she doesn't like it. You know there's all these things and at one point, his leg touches her leg, and that's when she. They're they're in snow mccown at this point, and she basically turns gives Michael the signal and lets him know that it's time to kill the witch she leans forward and Michael Pulls out the thirty eight. And Jones like holy. Shit and he ends up what they're on the freeway. My Gosh. He ends up fighting him off making sure like the the the gun doesn't go off and pulling over to the side of the road getting out of the truck that Michael and Susan, follow and chase him. There's a fight on the shoulder of the freeway that goes on for so long that people again, no cell phones, it's one, thousand, nine, hundred, eighty, two. Three. There's a fruit stand on the other side of the freeway that can see it happening and they end up calling the police, and there's all these witnesses driving by seeing this crazy fight on the side of the Road John is is trying to wrestle the gun away from Michael but at some point in the fight Susan gets her hands on a knife and ends up stabbing John. which then incapacitates him he can't fight anymore and then Michael shoots man I really wanted him to win I nine to two. So now there's witnesses everywhere the police are on the way. So Michael and Susan steal the truck and they speed off a thirty year. Old Hellier is pronounced dead at the hospital. So. The police meanwhile have the description they know all these. There's so many choices that they know. Exactly. So now they actually end up being able to find and begin to chase. Michael and Susan in John's trauma shirt and a high speed chase ensues. Susan's the one driving Oh my so they dry for a little while but eventually she loses control of the truck they they go careening into a ditch and the truck crashes they survive the police arrest Michael and Susan in custody Michael and Susan don't answer any questions. That the police ask them about the Clark Stevens murderer. Day, just want to talk about their religion about Susan's ESPN powers about the threat of witches. Susan tells police they are in the midst of a holy war against witches. They're held in jail as this investigation continues and basically Michael starts complaining that they are not getting enough press. So. He basically says, they've killed the biggest which of the mall in San Francisco and that they should be getting that reporters should know this story and be reporting the story. Will the police hear him say that now basically they're like that was a confession to Burns US murder. So the so now they know so they're basically they're like, okay what you want, you want to tell your story let's set it up because they're like now we'll find out. What whatever they've been doing at least we'll know they basically set up a press conference for the two of them to talk instead of a normal interrogation on that would be recorded in trying to get them to confess. They're like, okay it's a press conference. So on March Tenth Nineteen eighty-three Michael and Susan sit with this big bunch of reporters and launch into A. Six Hour rant about all of their beliefs and all of the things that they have been doing video, can you watch it? There's there was a clip of it. On the TV show I'm sure it is exhausting mental AIDS I. If you're one of those reporters I just be like this is such bullshit. You would literally run to the nearest bar when you left that because. They clearly are not okay. She's sitting there smiling he has done is he's just looking off in the distance kind of talking about what's happening in the it's in it's really is very upsetting clear mental illness and clear brain generation from drug use I mean that's just what it is. Yeah. They talk about George Orwell's nineteen eighty-four they call Ronald Reagan, the devil, which isn't Isn't too far. Today is a great book yet. They say that which is prevent a universal threat they all need to be killed and. They say that their system is the best exterminating, which is Susan has her visions about who's a witch and then Michael kills them. So. During this, they end up confessing to the murders of Karen, Barnes Clark Stevens and John Hellier. And so the to both end up being each charged with three counts of first degree murder and from what I can tell that a press conference does not go wide. So there first trial begins in late May nineteen eighty-four for the murder of Karen Barnes. Just, before the trial begins, they withdraw their confessions and they plead not guilty, but it's too late and on June twelfth nineteen eighty-four after just three days, they're both found guilty of murder and they're each sentenced to twenty five years to life. Then they're tried for Clark Stevens murder and again very quickly, they're found guilty and they each receive a sentence of fifty years to life their third trial for John. Hellers murder ends similarly they each get seventy five years to life for his murder. Neither Michael or Susan ever express any remorse for the killings in fact, when asked they just talk more about the hit list that they have on top of that the couple is now considered suspects in at least a dozen other murder cases across the country and and in Europe that lineup with their kind of nomadic travels. Unfortunately, there was no not enough evidence was ever found to confirm or deny any of those cases, but there are definitely deaths that line up with the way how they move around. America. People they killed. Yeah. So in December of two, thousand, fifteen, that's the first time Susan's eligible for parole. She's quickly denied and her next parole hereon will tentatively be in December of twenty thirty. Michael Carson. James Carson but Michael Carson is supposed to be considered for parole in June two, thousand five but he waves his suitability hearing for five years. So he doesn't seek parole for the first time until May. Twenty six, twenty, twenty. Age Sixty. Nine An among the people who speak out against his release is his own daughter. Jen Carson. Oh and she has this to say, yeah, she's bad, ass. She says quote you don't address mass incarceration by releasing the less than one percent of prisoners who are serial killers high father yet bright my father Michael Bear Carson, hunted humans, young beautiful innocent victims. He's a Predator who will kill again I oppose my father's parole. yuck addresses and mass incarceration while she second tower she's like. Mass. Incarceration needs to get salt, right? Yes. There are many people that need to get released from prison. This motherfucker isn't one and he's my father and I love Tau and gave him in jail and myrtles a serial killer. Yup, there's a big difference which is amazing. So Michael Carson is denied parole via skype hearing due Covid nineteen on May Twenty, seven, twenty twenty, and after afterward Jen Carson makes another public statement and here's what she has to say quote I spoke out. Against my father's parole because I believed he would kill again if released, we may never know how many people were killed by my father Michael Bear Carson or where they are buried. But today there was justice for three known victims, Karen Barnes Clark Stevens and John Hillier and future violence was prevented, and at the end of that episode of couples who kill she's also she's also quoted as saying this people don't think about the relatives of a violent offender but the child of a criminal. Is a criminal victim too. and. That is the awful story. Of the California which killers. Wow. That was great. Good job I mean. Horrible. Right good job. Thank you. Yeah. Pure insanity. Good job Hank you we definitely need to fucking her as don't. We absolutely need it. Hey Hey hey hey fuckin-. Hurry Ray go Georgia. Wow One. Thinks I. Want me to go first. Yeah. Okay. This is from instagram Z's Bony says. My hashtag sucking way is that I'm finally escaping the clutches of my psychotic manager, but moreover advancing my career path. Yeah. Well, this might not seem like much to some I struggle with a stand for myself. I accepted the fact that I was not where I wanted to be and needed to risk the mental and emotional exhaustion of being uncomfortable for a bit if I was going to ultimately get where I want to be. So I started making noise to some higher ups, and now my exodus is in motion I feel a huge weight taken off my shoulders and I'm looking forward to dancing my career stay sexy and remember you are your greatest advocate only you can make it happen. Yeah sometimes uncomfortable a little before area but also. I would just like to do a very kind kindly correction to say. because. Because they said something about being like that hardly anybody else's uncomfortable in that specific way. which is no. Everyone is just people are really good at Faking A. Everyone's life we've been there. Yeah. It's weird. You were psychically linked Georgia right because. here's the one I picked go I, this is from. Abe Langer Abe Langer. This is from the Fan Coil floorm Abe Linger ninety-four says. This is called why you should always go for it a few months ago a position at my company opened up and I hadn't really paid any attention to the job posting because it seemed unattainable unattainable and I wasn't really even qualified on the day of the posting a woman who I consider a mentor sent me a message. Saying you're a fucking idiot. You don't go for this. Well put. And then it says she didn't use any exclamation points. So the person did A. fucking with like the Asterik an amp Santa. But then she in parentheses wrote, she didn't use an exclamation point because she's a Badass businesswoman who doesn't need to soften her sentence. Right on and so and so the next day I sent in my resume for consideration after what feels like an exceptionally long process of interviews, anxiety doubt more interviews and some crying I've just recently found out that I got the job and it's an incredible opportunity for growth and it came with a nice payback to all of this is to say that I shouldn't have doubted myself so much because I'm smart funny and I work really hard and how often do men out their abilities when they apply for a job or speak up in a meeting hardly ever it seems like So I'm to pour myself a drink and toast to my awesome accomplishment fucking array. And here's the thing to. Yes fucking hurry and Hell Ya, and this is why we need especially in business but I mean in real life, it's great. But in business you do need a mentor a person that has a little more experience than you and that sees things big picture because of course. It's hard to know your own qualifications and believe that you you're just of course it's me like, yeah. A lot of people feel that way. So it's so great. To have that leadership and the guidance from somebody that can go ohno I. Know I know you can do totally because then you can trust that. How would you know it's you and you've never done it before. Yeah. Don't trust. You don't trust your brain that's that's been telling you. You can't your whole life like right find someone you respect and believe them right and also by that lady who said you're a fucking idiot if you don't go for this a big bottle of liquor because that's the that's the stuff of light. All. Need liquor cheerleaders. Children cheerleading and liquor, and liquor. That's awesome This is from at Laney May, times, three on instagram. My fucking her is that despite twenty twenty being an overall bullshit year for the world I got married, bought a house and celebrated my decade of life. It hasn't always been roses I'm a social worker and a pediatric hospital and a black woman in this country whose government seemingly values black lives. Many days were spent in bed pushing aside my own grief in order to support families with there's thankfully I had other rad women of color to debris with and carry on regardless of everything I'm incredibly grateful and soak proud for all that me and my sweet husband who I turned into a murderer know how yup have achieved during such crazy times. Beautify now, right what was the name on that one day Laney May Times three This was fucking hurry for my grandma getting our civic duty. Shit together. This is from mad hades also from the fan called. My seven year old grandma, her name's Gloria Q.. Laura Brannigan Gloria registered to vote for the first time in two thousand eighteen. For the first time. After the twenty sixteen election I was so frustrated with my family members who voted third party didn't vote for either presidential candidate or in Grandma's case did not vote at all in two thousand eighteen. I made it my mission to get her registered after realizing her congressional district in our very red state was competitive Ohio utahns We worked on the registration paperwork together and made sure she received her mail in ballot. This is something Utah actually gets right as for alcohol laws don't get me started. She mailed in her ballot and Wallah she voted in our first election and that candidate won his race yesterday I texted her to see if the if she had center ballot yet, I plan to offer to drop it off for her but she replied Yep and I dropped it off in a ballot box. She mentioned this was her first time voting in a presidential election. something. I hadn't even considered I'm very proud of her and grateful that mail in voting is so easy and Utah. So fucking Hooray for grandma and fucking Hooray for easy voting options Amazing. It's amazing. I can't even imagine like things seventy something in never having voted presidential election just like yeah. Well. I guess I can being from. It just. People have been very lackadaisical about their. I Ha- I'll say it this way I've been very lackadaisical about my civic duties in that way where there are certain things, I say Oh, y'all do that. Of course I have to do that but then there's other ways like you know i. just read this big thing about. Jury duty that like I've always taken that as a thing to get out our work I have the perfect excuse. It jury duty is a very, very important. Thing to participate. And especially, if you pay attention to stuff and you care about hotel out, things could go like. So anyway, all that stuff is like if you've been bad, you can start being good. Like don't hold it against yourself. Just get get get in there and get it totally. Oh. God. Cool this time we live in this weekend is Halloween so spooky. All Wayne. Anyway, Halloween have. I'm we're all going to have the spookiest Halloween of all time. So take care of yourself. You know stay calm try to. Try to you know. Stay strong get yourself a thirty two but Mike Myers if it's if you need it. Right. If you have that extra three K. running around that self care to you than it self care and you can do that. If you can just you could print up a picture Jackal Myers and just put it in a little heart shaped locket I'm right by your heart whatever you need Paulo style to keep yourself strong. But we're GONNA get through this we will be together and. And stay sexy and don't get murdered go by MIMI WANNA cookie.
Replay: Meal of Approval with Jenny Han
"Hey everyone we wanted to let you know that we are off this week. We're on Vaca- While you are on Vaca- I'm in an actual actual vacation. I'm on a station K.. Either way we're taking the week off we are and so we are re airing a couple of our favorite episodes us. Oh this week Today we are re airing episode ten way back in the day back in the early forever. thirty-five line line of things with Jenny Han author extraordinary. Author extraordinaire She wrote to all the boys before which became an amazing net net flicks movie. She talks about baking. She talks about lipstick other products. Busted a whole bag of products. Yeah how to cook eggs. Yeah it's a really great episode. So even if you've listened to listen to it before I highly suggest giving it another listen because it's just really fun. Yeah in joy by hey everybody welcome to forever. Thirty five a podcast about the things we do to take care of ourselves. I'm Kate Uh Spencer I am Dorey Schiffer and no. We're not experts. Were just two friends who liked to talk a lot. About scenario homes. uh-huh serum get cozy and juice. Kate how you doing. I'm awesome. Whoa oh sounded like a team? Yeah Well Your Voice Crack was strange. I'm doing great good great. We'll dig in more okay. I can't wait. Yeah actually you know what note. Today I'm hung over and I've realized I don't. I don't take to alcohol the anymore. I don't drink it that much anymore and then when I do it doesn't sit well inside of me. What did you drink? I had a Martini. Oh but it was a very generous poor that that turned into it was a two Martini. Poor and then I had sips of my husband's Manhattan and then I drank a Sam Buca. Gotcha I realized that I can't really drink hard liquor anymore. Maybe that's been wine makes me feel sick to really yeah And then I it throws off the whole day you know like my my sleep was terrible. I'm I'm not focused. My eating has been crazy Z.. I ate all I've had. Today is a huge breakfast Burrito and then around four o'clock. I ate animal crackers with peanut butter on top. You know that that'll timeless favorite and I enjoy having a cocktail having a glass of wine but I realized like it doesn't really it doesn't offer much. Yeah so drink that much anymore veteran either You know I went to a small college and then I lived in New York for ten years and drinking was a huge part of both of those experiences for better for for worse. And it's not always it's not a great thing but so anyway. I'm a little gurgle early. I hear you yeah I mean I think you sound great thank you. You're welcome but I I get it. I get it we we. This is our second week with a voicemail. Yes please call us. Please call us. I don't wanNA sound desperate but we're just dying to hear from you. Yeah it's seventy one five nine one zero three nine zero grow and we're actually recording this before the episode. Where we talked about the voicemail for the first time has aired so so we haven't gotten any voicemails yet? which is maybe why? I'm feeling so sad. Yeah so I I understand but can you all just make kate not feel sad and leave. Leave a simple pathetic any kind of awkward seriously please leave us voicemails but shadow it to everyone who has already already reached out emailed listened instagram'd we love hero and our facebook group join our facebook group. It's it's really great and we love to know what you guys WanNa hear about on the show. We use your your contact to put the show together. Yes it's very healthy. That's really helpful. So thank you for that. And also we aired our first mini episode this week. So We'd love to hear what you guys thought about that. And what you guys would like to hear on the mini episode. Owed so you know how to find us. It's forever thirty five podcasts. At G mail or call us at seven eight one five nine one zero three nine zero. 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Someone one said the what you Kate Endure love to talk about and someone said like living in staying in New York. While they're friends moved to the Edberg someone said leaving their husbands. We haven't done and don't plan on leaving their husbands at age thirty five. Oh right yeah. A lot of people say that we like to talk about life which SHR is not wrong. I personal favorite was someone just said Kate. Yeah you're right I talk about myself and also someone said No. Someone actually responded. I don't want to be in this group. Oh that's what they put as I think they were like. Oh I don't I made a grave mistake here anyway. We would love to have you in the group we also have off-shoot groups now one for swapping products just one for mental health and there's also forever thirty five Book Group that is reading the wedding date. Yes and also if you like the show. Please leave us a review on Apple podcasts casts. We would be so grateful and tell a friend and if you like US also you mentioned social media. We won't turn that down no and talked on instagram. I my little life update. Today's about something I posted on our stories and numerous people said what's the link doc and I'm going to share it on our website for this episode this episode guide but I bought a product organizer off of Amazon. It looked amazing. It transformed my entire bathroom. I might need one and I actually found out about it in our facebook group so that should join. There's tons of awesome tips in our our facebook group and I purchased this Ella Ki Ki L. O. K.. I it's a spinning makeup organizer. You're and it was very took two seconds to put it together. I had like an overflowing volcano of product. Kinda just heaped heaped on my kitchen in my bathroom and my bathroom kitchen and my bathroom guys like I said I'm hung over a little my sink in my bathroom and and the thing is tiny and I fit a ton of stuff on it. It's kind of actually amazing like there was a moment whereas I don't have enough stuff to put on this thing. Wow but it's great and spins around so you can just kind of twirl it find your thing put it back. I love it. It really has helped me get organized and then doing that than motivated me then Organiz and throw out the rest of all the products kind of spilling out of my bathroom shelves. That's the best feeling feeling. It felt so good. The stuff I was collecting was like years old addict. So you've got this product thing. I think it's changed your life. I think what happens is when you organize one small piece of things it immediately makes you want to then organize everything else it. It felt like I did the little I cleaned up the sink area of things and toss some stuff and then I just like turned. We have this shelf. The unit is over our toilet in our bathroom. And that's where it just like my mounds of makeup and perfume and samples and just things I kind of horrid are her and I was like you know what I've wanted to tackle this for so long I'm going to do it. And the most annoying thing. I don't know if you're this way but all obsess about this task I have to do and I'm like I don't want to do it then I do. It takes twenty minutes. Yes it's like. Why did I put this off for two years? I totally feel you on that because I do that that all the time I also and this is not what you're supposed to do but I keep in use makeup for years. Yeah I have powder like a face powder that I've had. It's over five years old. I still use it. Oh I have like disgusting blush that like is only the sides are left. It's it's gross. Like why am I keeping. Is there still a little bit left. It's diagnosed container. I know it's disgusting but that's sounds really satisfy it was I even washed Out All the containers. I did something similar today actually. I bought a shredder. ooh that's a satisfying satisfying activity to shred paper is real satisfying. Because my I think I talked about this last week my office is kind of not great. You you have a Home Office. I have a Home Office and you posted pictures of it on our instagram stories. Yes or I think I posted on my instagram either way. Yeah what you seem seemed to be stressed about. Clutter a lot of pile tons of paper everywhere of paper everywhere. Did you start using the show. I started using the shredder shredded. Some stuff in my friend. Amanda is coming over on Thursday and she said and I quote can I come over and get high a an organized your office. She's younger but I said great. That sounds Great Amanda. So Oh she's GonNa do that. We're going to organize my office together. I think I don't think we're GonNa do the whole thing. Because it's there's a lot to do but if we can just like make a dent ident that will be really satisfied also now that you are fulltime working from home as a writer yes having your own space base having a clean clear space to work in his really helpful. It's the thing I feel like. I can't really do the work I WANNA do without having a space that feels clean and clear and like mine Right now it just feels like like I look at it and I'm like Oh that's how I feel kneeling and so hard to get anything done. It's so hard to get anything done. I just see even if you were an office like my old job. Where when I worked for H.? One my desk when it was cluttered I couldn't function. Yeah I would would not be very productive well. I worked worked at rolling stone for like a year and a half and yon winner is who's the owner of rolling stone is notoriously obsessive. You've about cleanliness. And he he didn't spend the whole year in the office. He spent months like at his one of his many homes in Life Sun Valley for him but we would get emails saying that he was going to be in the office and we needed to make sure that are workspaces. Were clean and they would bring in like bins for people to throw out papers their stuff and yeah and he would like walk around around and if you had stuff on your desk you would hear about it like he would tell. Your boss didn't like to see CDs out on the desk. We were Music Kazini. I mean yeah but it did did like force you to keep clean death. I think also one thing. I'm observing as a parent errant. Is that Like I'm not an inherently neat person. I'm a messy and won. Both my daughters are neat and you have to teach children doctrine. We assume it's just something like you can do. Go clean up your room. You don't. It's something that I think. We have to teach each either either our younger people or as an adult have to learn how to do like I definitely have am trying to teach myself how to be organized and be neat because it's not for a lot of people certain inherent like no it's it's a real struggle. Yes and I can see it especially one of my children. She's just like a collector and Haroon is filled with stuff. And I'll be like go pick up your toys and then I'm like she doesn't know have never taught her Leeann and like you have to teach by example example. Yes which. I'm also terrible at but I'm trying to be sensitive to the fact that like I never felt my. My parents were like neat people but I never I wasn't wasn't I don't know something to teach our children lamai pair. Well no I feel like I. The thing I struggle with is coming up with systems. uh-huh and I would like to come up with an office system like I. I haven't released successfully come up with that many systems. I'm not that good at that. And my husband is very disorganized and cluttered like he thinks the organized one and I'm like I'm only organized relative to you but I'm not that organize and my natural state is cluttered. I have to really work at it. It's awesome upsetting. I've really struggled with self esteem in this area a little bit like you. Don't feel good about yourself now when you aren't able to to just organize and be like it's not even been clean. It's being needs her tidy. Yeah I have the same Leanne. I have the same anxiety when I look at really really pretty bullet journals. Forget it like I. Just don't have that brain either and I I just I just I just can't and so when I see these like beautiful like when I put on Instagram my office a few people sent me like instagram's of people who do like like pretty organizing things and I look at them and I was like okay and then I went to the container store website and it was like and I just like I don't know it just felt very overwhelming and and I was like I'm never going to have a labelled container of like tape. Yes yeah you have to work within who you are. Yeah exactly and I will say like the people who make those beautiful bull journals. I think that's relaxing for them. No totally it is and it's not relaxing for me no anxiety. Heidi has attack. But you know what's what is relaxing for me which I figured out is having just a Shitty notepad and scrawling rolling to do lists at night before I go to bed on this note pads really smart and that kind of calms me down like just seeing what I have to do. The next day Even if I don't ever really liked consult the list there's something about just the act of making less but it's like I literally like I. It's not pretty but but it's it's getting it out of your head. Yes the most important thing exactly so we're going to pause now for a word from our sponsor okay. Yes you wanted. Wanted to talk about meal plan I did. This was a topic that I saw mentioned in trustee old forever thirty facebook group. Love that group I love it and it resonated with me because because this has been a years long struggle challenge. Yeah it's been really hard for me. I hate. I don't like cooking. Yeah Yeah. I'm not a confident cook. I'm not good at following recipes than when people laugh at that. It's people laugh at that. Well people like how hard is it to follow a recipe which I understand but I the way my brain is set up. It's very hard for me to follow directions Ear Linear. That's the right word. I'm looking for I bounce ONS around. This has been a struggle. I've had since my childhood like following directions on a test so register. Recipes are very hard for me to just I sit and follow. step-by-step right. I screw them up constantly in ways that are that seem impossible which is okay. It's just this is it is what it is what it is. Could there could be a bigger problems in my life than not being able to follow a recipe. Well and I have two children and partner and myself. We all have to eat. And I don't WanNa fall into the habit of like making each kid their own separate meal really. Yeah Yeah I just. It's so much work so much work you know and like it's you're struggling with getting home late after work or whatever and then trying to get all this done before your kids start getting too tired to even function like. It's a very small window of when you can cook and I certainly do try to like meal. Prep but that's honestly it's tedious. It's really tedious. Rather be doing the shopping. A week's worth of peppers to you know what I mean. It's interesting I. I do think that you know like Jane. When we Jane On? She was saying she finds the prepping. The juicing thing to be very therapeutic and I do think that there are people who find that process therapeutic us I wish wish I was one of the but yeah but if you're not one of them you're not one of them no it's just not my thing. Yeah it never will be and so I've had to kind of figure out how to make it work. Yeah and I've tried Meal box subscription yet. I've tried one called one potato which is a family one and I tried one called Sun Basket would I was just doing for Anthony and I they also they also have family meals. They do but I'll tell you what the family meals are still too intense for my kids. and kids are not. It's not that they're picky. It's that they just their palate is just not there yet. And I know there are children in the world who like love love eating you know some raw albacore and like Kale but my kids and and so I've had to kind of and also like one kid. My youngest loves Cherry Tomatoes. The older one hates tomatoes but then the youngest hates tomato tomato sauce oldest loves thoughts. I mean it's like rap right and they're not doing this deliberately but people people. Yeah but I so. It's like trying to find something that everybody's GonNa eat that's remotely healthy is a journey and then prepping ahead because I kind of tend to panic if I know what I'm making each week really helps me. Yeah one helps me grocery shop and not spend a lot of money right Because I am the person who would like go to the grocery store by a hundred dollars worth of groceries and then it all just like sits there or goes bad gray you ever have those we us so I have been. I've been working on meal planning like picking recipes and writing at all out for a long in time but in the past like let's say three months two months one month it's gotten a little easier feel like I'm starting to get into the rhythm them understand what my family will and won't eat. Yeah and understand that like me in. Kate needs the simplest recipes and now like right. Now it's literally going to be like like a slab of fish a steamed vegetable some rice and then a sauce whether it's from a jar or quickly make it has to be as basic as possible because I have kids who don't want intense flavor sauces. I have being my husband. We're still trying to eat well and I need it to be quick. I well you mean healthy not healthy like I'm not I can't be making you know whole thirty meals for us. I mean we follow hill thirty. You know what I mean. It has like I am going to be eating spaghetti. Total also have no food allergies. I have no restrictions so so dory yes this month. UH-HUH I have every Sunday planned my week of meals amazing and I have learned throughout the month like started the first month of February with a more ambitious week of meals by ambitious I mean one was called crispy pork chops with Saracho Brussels sprouts. Oh that sounds ambitious us at least flavor profile wise. That sounds ambitious. Brussels sprouts for very easy to make. I'll link I'm GONNA try to either linked to all these recipes or make I have a google doc that I can just share with. You can hot cast you. Could you could set it to view only input. We could put it on the website. Great and it's not you know perfectly format it and you'll see some some one week. I put a little area in for feedback and then I only did it for two days so you know all right. I mean this is a work in progress. Hopefully but what. I've just what I've found is like keeping it super easy like Monday. Spaghetti night. Tuesday go night yet Wednesday a fish night and then it suggest as basic as possible and then do you repeat that the next week so I so there's a woman who I'm friendly with. Who shared her her meal plan that she does? He makes like in December of every year a year. Long meal plan. Holy Shoot. It's it's truly amazing. I've seen it and it's just incredible all and she has a partner and a small like a toddler. And what this person does. She plans a month of meals and she rotates that seasonally. So so it's like a month I think maybe it's I can't remember exactly but it's kind of like for four months this there's one kind of big rotation of meals and then it changes and spring and then it changes in summer and then it changes in the fall and and I was. I looked at it. I pulled some recipes from it. And there's one that I really like Pasta Spaghetti with lots of Kale. That was in the person's meal plan but I still found a lot of the recipes like the flavor profiles too intense for my kids. So I then and it was Kinda too two. It was too much for me like I start with my own recipes based on my own family and work from there but I think ideally my dream is that I have three to four weeks of recipes. Yeah and a plan. Yeah I just rotate every month and we follow. That sounds like you're getting there. I feel like I'm building tore. It feels like you had a breakthrough I did. I did this first week of meals in February and I realized from that first week that the things I thought were basic for my kids were not basically Like I made this glaze salmon and this was also good one glazed salmon and Bok Choy sheep hand dinner and white rice lava sheep pan which which was delicious but and that was but they won't eat. Bok Choy was steaming Broccoli etc excuse me etc so I really started to scale back and like what they like one night a week. We do breakfast for dinner. Love it when we do like an egg in the hole and some basic probably love that they love it. I did a Turkey. Erkki Burger and then homemade sweet potato fries and then that went well and the mother if they don't eat the the dinner it's not like you offer them alternative. No some nights. I'm like this is it. This is all there and other nights. I'm like you could if but this is not working for you. You can go get a string cheese or a carrot and I try to limit it to like a piece of protein is something right without sugar or and some vegetable VOLPE unlike. That's it they don't get rewarded for not eating. When like if you're really hungry you would eat a thing? That's what I say about my dog. Yeah Okay Right. If he's hungry he's going to. He's going to eat. I like you. This is what I kind of how I feel. And they don't all and sometimes if I just if they're like this and I'm like okay and then I don't send any else I'll notice just like start eating and I just am not got. It is too much. Yeah I think it's good to have other alternative. You don't want them to. If they're really hungry had already exhausting day they should be able to eat something thing and another thing that has helped them eat. More is serving the food family style so they serve themselves instead of being plated. Yes they will try more things. They'll eat malls interesting. They feel really empowered. It was like a breakthrough I mean. I don't Laura why didn't figure that out. It's like pretty basic to just put a bowl of rice on the table but doing it themselves. They feel so proud of themselves. It was so as we that was great the other thing. I've started to let them do to help me help. This is mostly for their own lunches but they help prepare it. We discovered that my youngest. I love these smart life. Vegetarian hot dogs. That in bulk at traderjoes okay. I just chopped two of those up. Throw those in an egg. A hardboiled egg. I choose fruit. Okay Hertzel's goldfish crackers or whatever cracker. You want that's the other one. I do a lot of Bagel and cream. Cheese will slap it together. Throw it in or I do. What's called ferry? Read where I take Asaba bread. I put a lot of non-salted butter. You're on it and then I put sprinkles on it but I'm still delicious like here's what I here's what I also figure with lunch or with anything like they're getting healthy choices at other meals so that one meal eating bread with sprinkled on it. I know at dinner like they're having cucumbers like all bow for my family totally doesn't work for everyone's family and that's okay okay. Yeah but this is just how I've kind of had to get to get through. It's a day by day thing and also making every day. I do it at night most of the time so a non struggling scrambling in the morning but whatever is fastest for me. Because it's just it's like just another thing. Yeah so it's it's a lot And also it's expensive. Having young children in a whole as a family is a lot of. Yeah which is why do go to my number one store KOSCO. Yeah whereby bulk fruit and we plow through it. Yeah pounds of fruit. It's not S- it's nutsy amount of food. My family consumes. I'll make like a big VAT of overnight oats to kind of get a few days a week I'll Mak- hard boiled eggs the instant pot because that instant hard boiled thanks like nobody's business so there are a little things I do to kind of just make everything easier. Yeah like if you do buy three peppers and then sliced this them when you get them it just makes everything so much easier. You don't WanNA spend hours pepper. But sometimes it helps. Do you. Meal Plan Dan. I have tried in the past to meal plan. it's my husband has been working ging late and also has not been around on the weekends So he eats at work Because they get lunch they at lunch to a matter matter. What and then if they work late they get dinner so he we're not eating together so I'm basically just like cooking for myself So the the thing that I've found that works for me is doing meal kits and I do Sun Basket. And when he he was eating with me we would have. I would make the dinner and we would have dinner together but now I will eat dinner by myself and keep the leftovers for lunch the next day kind of a great way to do it. Yeah which is great and you know. It's a little more expensive than it would be if I were just like buying the food on my own but the not having to plan and prep those like go to the grocery host restore to saving that time and energy for me is worth it And also there's no food waste which is really important to me like I. I feel like when I when I was meal planning and prepping on my own I ended up with a lot of food ways. Totally Same I still have that same problem album. Yeah so I like that that you know if I need to use a teaspoons worth of minced garlic. I don't don't end up with half ahead of garlic rots and now that I'm working from home I'm going. I'm starting to think about like what my lunches are going to look like because I'm not can have them every. I'm not gonNA have the leftovers every day so I just think a little bit more about that and you know am I going to get takeout or I don't know I. I haven't quite figured that out yet. I did this last week and I really like doing it. which is and I wish? I was more consistent and I'm going to try to be as I make VAT of something in my slow cooker and then I just eat that throughout the week like I made this White Bean Chicken Chili. Yeah it was really good and that this and that and then the leftovers like I made a meatloaf and that was yeah one day but that and the Chili Kinda just and then you don't have to think about it. How early making making it because when you work from home it is weird? Because you're like well I'm just at home. I sit here and make a lunch but he had into your. There's A. There's a sweet potato and like beef chili recipe in the whole thirty kofoed. Made that really like a sweet potato and Turkey and Black Bean Chili. Paltrow that is I might have to look into that. So yeah so I'm kind kind of figuring it out I have done like buzzfeed has done these like clean eating challenge. Those is a buzzfeed meal plans. They're excellent. Yeah they're really good and we did those. We did those a couple of times And that was kind of fun but you have to do all the shopping on your own and it. It is expensive and so even though when I looked at meal kits initially I was like oh the seems expensive per person for the meals I I think in the end I end up spending less because I'm not buying extra stuff. Yeah and just not having to plan is like big for me. I've also found like when I was when I've ever. I've tried to like whenever a meal plan what happens. Is that something an evidently. I've had a flat quite a bit of coffee. Normally drink boy. My mouth is moving. There's always something that changes changes. So sometimes you'll buy like the pound of chicken breasts and then you're like. Oh no actually. I have to stay late night. I it's a thing that I forgot about. And and it can kind of throw a wrench in. Yeah whole Shebang. Yeah totally pound of food in your fridge. Yes but we would love to hear from you guys about what has worked well for you and your family. It's let's share recipes. Let's share a recipe. Let's do this I would. I would say personal it not to be like give me things but if you have really easy delicious recipes that have worked for you. Please tell me because I'm not a confident Ed Cook. I need the most basic cookbook in the world. Do you have mark Pitman's how to cook. Everything will spot IT COSCO DOC. I talk about all the time I have had this cookbook for almost twenty years new user. I still use it it it is. It explains everything anything really well very basic. I think it's I think it's a really good cook book Yeah it's it's really good. We also met got really into all all of the America's test kitchen and Cook's illustrated and I think those books are good but a little complicated because there are things are like we found the best way to make Blah Blah Blah. And it's like ten thousand stub. Yeah and I just found that even though like I kind of enjoyed reading about like the reasoning behind everything and like all their testing but then when it came time to actually make the food it was like this is way too complicated. I've noticed that too with the Cook's illustrated has all. Oh by it. The magazine and then I'm like Never GonNa make it a single thing exactly and like if I make the second best fried chicken but it's like a tenth ah complicated onboard on that note. I think it is time to speak to our guest Jenny Han. We are very very excited to have our next guest here with US Jenny. Han and Jenny. I'm just GonNa read a little bio. Oh then I'm mostly stole from your personal website. Oh and added a couple touches K.. Flourishes Flourishes Jenny Han is the New York Times best best selling author of shock. The summer I turned Pretty Series Co author of the burn for burn series and most recently the to all the boys. I've have loved before trilogy. The first of which has been adapted into a movie that filmed this summer. I'm very obsessed with this trilogy. That's not part the biologist. She is a former children's bookseller and librarian and she lives in Brooklyn New York. Jenny thank you so much for coming. Thank you guys with me. We're very excited. Because you've have a selection of products on the table which we will discuss in depth. I hope and we always start off our interview with guests asking about a routine that they have in their life which can really be anything but something that brings them a little bit of calm self self care nourishment and do you have anything like that. I do have something like that baking. Oh my self care because I think that especially when I'm in the middle of book deadline which I always am. It's something that you can start and finish within two hour And then you have a finished product to supposed to look and with a book. It can feel like infinite no-one over even when you're done you're like is it done. And then you still have it and you stole like do the copy editors and it just goes on and on and then with the baking for me. It just feels like I started it if I finish it in here now eating it. Yeah so satisfying. It's also kind of meditative. I think it was like the measuring of ingredients. I I feel such satisfaction when it turns out like perfect. Yeah so actually. Include the story line in one of my books in. That's right the Laura Jean. She is trained to make the perfect chocolate chip cookie. Yes which I have been on a quest for my whole life and discovering covering. Oh yeah is that a recipe that you've created modified modified. Yeah because you know like ultimately. They're not that different crazies. As you know like the perfect one there's like many different kinds and people have different ideas of perfect. You know for me. It's like thin soft in the middle but crispy around on the outside. What is your secret? There's a butter situation right like either. It's hard butter melted. Butter changes the texture. Not My secret. Okay I do and willing to share it today. Thank you Jenny. I've been so careful because I have not posted the recipe online. Because I worked really damn hard on this thing you know what I mean. So this is my thing. It's like my secret recipe. I love my thing to do is when I get invited to go somewhere. I will bring cookie dough. It's already preform reform and then towards the end of the evening pop them in the oven And then we have fresh baked warm chocolate chip cookie rainy. Ast Three this is the thing you know. 'cause a warm cookie is just like heaven yes because he's only take like what twelve minutes to Baker Dory twelve minutes. Thank you here. Take my fair share case to me like the real key thing which ages it is all about the surface of the pan being hot enough so well because I kept feeling like my cookies are coming Out to like puffy height and I didn't want that I wanted to be spread dinner and so what I realize I've been doing wrong. Was I've been using a cell pat for years. I and you feel fancy with the Philpot because it's expensive. I don't even know what is at its missile cone sheet over the cookie sheets. He's don't stick to the bottom Okay here's the thing. It's not going to be as hot as the panels you know so I'm just a little bit of difference. I started using parchment paper. And there you go. It's the spread is because of the heat literally parchman papers the trick. I mean for me. That's amazing perfectionists. When it comes to the cookie I'm a big parchment paper Fan? Dan I don't I don't baking brings me anxiety all sorts of cooking doesn't it fills me with the opposite sensation that you guys experienced it really does. I am always so fascinated by people who find it very soothing. I'm curious has it always been a relaxing process for you or something that you've turned to when you've been stressed it just feels so fulfilling when I see those warm you know and you're just like yeah that's the way I wanted to look and actually in scientifically proven to be a a stress reliever learned. that as I was like doing it over and over again I saw that people recommend it as a wage. It like unwind. Do you have a stand mixer. Yes yeah that's amazing. That is amazing and I just have one more question which is is is there. Is there anything else besides the chocolate chip cookie that you feel like you have mastered the cinnamon roll. Oh Ho. That's a good one. Yes at the real crowd pleaser. I'm all of the moment. Allow people. Don't go oh my God. Yeah Yeah that would be nice. Is that something that you also will bring in doe form and Cook on premises Nova. Okay I know because like I. Would I make it the the recipe I use which is not my own pioneer woman. Oh sure race almond. Yeah the one thing I learned I was doing it. People can do this recipe and ended up like having it not come out the way you wanted to come out but the trick to me was really getting that dough tight like roll it out in other otherwise you have big puffs of of dough and then it becomes like a papa. John's situation you know when you have like dominoes in them. Have the cinnamon deserts. Yeah he's like yeah. have another sweet thing as you're talking. I'm thinking you'd be a great contested on great British bake off. God Yeah because because you really thought all this stuff through and you know how like you know how doe works. You know if you do you like you're an intuitive would've baker. I think you've also you have so much experience now that you kind of know how things interact licensed disappointing because with a cinnamon roll. The best part is the center. The goofiest hist thinnest part. Yeah and so. You've gotta get the dough thin and you've got really pack in the butter and I don't even like I like cinnamon rolls. They're not like the thing. Hey Craig but now when you're describing like hot oil rash Austin cinnabon experience not made from can. That's that's how I know what I'm up to later today homemade job as well the recipe also takes a little time the dough rise. You know into like instant gratification with cookies. That's the mistake people make. You GotTa let that rest for a good twenty four hour. That is the cookie. Yeah you have to let the actual cookie rest or the DOE DOE okay. I'm saying like if the flower has absorbed the sugar the butter and then it turns color. Even it's not going to be Pale. It's going to be richer in color and you can taste is different so you don't just whip up the dough and then pop it in the oven. I didn't in how you refrigerated your jury at. I mean my better baker chocolate chip cookies is something anybody you can do. People think they can all just like you guys are like I make amazing eggs. No you don't make scrambled Malek's and then I mean like it's very difficult to make a perfect scramble. The other thing I have worked very hard. You like a soft scramble label. I love a software. Some how do you poor. Do you put butter on the finished product to make extra now. Oh that's what I do guys. That's good uh-huh happy discussed but butter in the pan. Yeah and I need to know your trick to good scramble soft schedule. Or sure it's an undercooked it's it's an undercooked absolutely but my other trick is allocated you one extra yoke homework and it gets super like. That's what America's test kitchen does. He knew the extra three okay. I didn't know that I want to be on. This show says saying hey let Americans know but they had they had a a an American version that was vastly inferior. You know I'm just. I'm just saying Jenny like you do well. It's funny because is my friends at Dell. She's a writer to adult Griffin. She's like I don't understand the point of you working with this hard cookie recipe was appointed appointed about you and I said what is the point of doing it. If it's not going to be perfect like I don't see wait a minute. You know what I mean like is that is that how you are with everything. Are you perfectionist. And other parts of your life and that way no but like. I think it's not like it's tied to like if I'm going to be in Rome. Why am I GONNA go random a place for lunch? Why am I not going to go? I want Ravioli anything that the best or otherwise. Why am I wasting time? Yeah you know I mean that seems like a good good segue into skin care honestly wanting wanting wanting the best wanting the best stuff wanting the best products like. What's the point of doing it? If you're not putting the best stuff I mean this is this is the struggle because I how do you do that in a cost effective way. This is my journey. I mean one of my manager because it is skin care the really nice stuff. I mean cost money. I think this is why people are so obsessed currently with the word and airing yes it's affordable and it's like is this going to be the thing thing yeah but anyway we'll have to admit something about myself. which is I do like I remember? My daughter and I do tend to equate like quality with expensive expensive. Like she'll be like these apples or like five dollars better that like this is expensive right like like so if there's a cheap version in an extensive version I'm always. I'm the same way leaning towards my husband nuts because I like the brand products addicts of like drugstore things he would get the drugstore advil and I would get advil advil brand loyalty. Yeah Yeah it's being tricked by corporations may be but I mean I think there's also something really satisfying like you've obviously reached a level of success in your professional aiding very high level success and so to be able to to to be able to afford to buy this stuff for yourself. I think is very empowering. In a way he's feel so how'd he because walking into Sephora what needs mayor mask aids some some lip stuff it does feel the mysterious to me and I like a feeling feeling of luxurious. Yeah you know and feel like you're treating yourself something nice and appreciating it totally totally so we're going to pause now for word from our sponsor you're traveling here in La and so. Did you bring these. Are these products. I know they're mostly travel sized products. That you also use in your real life or you doing that kind of fun thing where you sample products because as you're traveling I love new parks. It's always about the new thing for me and so I had just started. I kind have led to Gotham Easter about us. I Care Brown on twitter. She was saying she watches. ooh Let me just check out what she says about serums and and then I was sitting there for like six hours video taking notes on all the stuff I needed you know. And so it was great to then run over to Sephora and stuff in the travel size is so I can try it out that that's a good tip to just in general because I don't WanNa invest even though you know it makes more sense economically to get the bigger size right. It's a trick trek. It's a trick but what do you have right there in that the drunk elephant the drunk. So it's the jelly cleanse the texture. Super Nice is Jelly. It doesn't feel drying so far. I'm yes on this cleanser. It doesn't afterwards. Your skin doesn't feel like super tight. which is is the problem that you've run into Dorie with the one? I recommend US Haas Rx rex morning. He H H. I didn't like it Do use that in the morning morning and night. Both I only do it at night morning. You know why I don't really see the need to like dry skin by cleansing it again I am. I am getting on on this train and I have. I've been doing a little reading about it. And they say that unless you have very oily skin actually don't really need to wash your face in the morning. Just water splash some water on it. I'm a morning shower or so. I will just rinse my face off. But I'm not using as much face wash in in the morning. I listened to that episode about the shower thing. I'm a night show. I night showered the other night and I liked liked it. Have you always been a night shower. I mean kind of because I hate waking up early in the morning yeah. It's more about my hair. I have a lot. You have luxurious complete with it. A little bit damp then. It's not like move huge. Naturally wavy isn't actually like blowout. Okay very granular. It's yeah like I would buy a wig with that hair recently. I think I'm moving towards Wiggham so go to the stylist and I had never realized this guys you know that most bull like on TV and stuff hell wearing like a ton of fate hair. I was was with my friend who was an actress on a TV show in her car and in the backseat was just the extensions that she would pull out after a day of work and everybody has fake guaranteed. I feel like the only learn this since moving to L. A. Yes. La like the curtain gets pulled back a little bit. I feel like when you live here. You're like Oh that's how they do. I saw red carpets to a ton of his fake. Yeah that's why you can never live up to the the the dream right. Yeah man who have a lot of here in each individual strand is quite thick so a lot to manage. Do you blow it blow dry out at night after you show a just a wet variety like a rough dry like just a couple seconds so it's not dripping. Yeah go to bed nice okay. So drunk elephant cleanser ends are. Then what happens. Then I'll do the beauty water by son in Park. Oh yeah heard people rave about this stuff. I like it because it's technically like toning but it's also cleansing and it's also moisturizing. You wouldn't know it by looking at it and water. It doesn't feel stripped after I use is it. I might need to try that. Yeah that's how it sounds really. Lovely of 'em so-called Glam. Yeah so and then I'll do do some sort of like a serum Yep and like on a morning I would do this eve of a rock. which is I- legal? This is the best best. What is that? I don't know what that is Lisa. Lucas told me about the twitter conversation about yes. This is the big way. It is like vitamin C.. And all this stuff and it makes even the color of my skin look different. Wow this brown. WHO MAKES I look? They see forensic for ruling looks. Good Yeah it comes with a dropper. That means it's official. My only complaint with the is the smell like Ergasias okay earthy the normal like wash my hands so I don't smell it all day but it's been a game changer for my skin. Wow that's a product you will keep buying like you'll come back to it again. It's like one hundred eighty bucks or something but right this is the trap. Yeah but dot dot dot it works for you really works. Yeah and then I'll do like a couple of different moisturizers a light one and then I'll do a heavier one. Oh and one other thing that Rachel will on twitter. Rachel Rachel says she was talking about Eve. Cleanser which and I've been struggling with oil cleansers because I don't like my skin feeling that like the ads. Greece three up. And this is actually an oil cream cleanser and then you you put it on your hands in the you do sort of this thing of tapping and like pressing and feels very therapeutic as you like like dude different pressure points and then you put the Muslin that you soak in hot water and you put on your face August. Sounds that sounds like a SPA. It is it's it's nice. This is when it smells Leykis Fox actually okay and then you do cold water Muslim. That does smell that does smell exactly like Nelson the main the makeup just comes right off also something about pressing Hot Muslim to your face sounds divine. Read it in totally. I believe this is why. There's been recent debate about the benefits of skin care and how it is possibly sham. which we're not really on board with but I do feel like just a simple actively touching your face taking that time the warmth? It's all very grounding and therapeutic. Yes not just about like scrubbing your face to keep it known and you president sinuses. You can feel like the sort of like drainage whatever you can feel oh my face feels like tender right here. Did you actually reminded me of. I want this man who did therapy for for soldiers who had. PTSD out of the one of the tricks was doing this tapping you tap over and over and over and people who swear by tapping to help and I was like Whoa. This is weird but then as I was doing this cleanser it kind of reminded me a little bit of a tab being over and over again and there's like an aroma therapy woman yet it also sounds like face yoga which people are getting into. Now we'll talk about that shot. Where do you get eve loam? I've never heard of it I think I got this. From Sephora Oh okay little trip after this and then Mo sorry you do this all when you get out of the shower. Yeah okay. 'cause my skin dries really fast and then it also soaks up the moisture really fast. And so if I don't do it right away then my skin's already drying got it in a bad way. Okay okay so at the capture perfect really do do the Papa Wheaton my lips because they let through is so dry in the winter. Oh what is it called Papa. Yeah you're the one that models always like in the kit of Australian Wedeman Wedeman all right great great primer for the lip and then. Do you have a heavier moisturizer. Oh yeah so I just started this this one to the drunk elephant Lala Retro whipped cream. And it's still new but I get texture look icing Absolu-. ooh Oh that looks lovely looking at food for that cream thing. I learned learn off. Gotha means to was. She had a real focus on letting taking a few seconds to let the products absorb before. You go to the next step and sometimes I want to be really luxurious with the routine. And sometimes I'm like trying to just get it over with you know and you've gotta let that go in for a second before the next. Yeah you don't want to rush through your products you also the pressing things onto my face is a new thing. I'm really China instead of just rubbing it all over. I'm really trying to work on that slowing myself down. Oh Own oh and then the heaviest thing I'll do is cheek. Appear by. Dr Jarred is awesome senators. Great I was at the airport report in Korea. Amazing there's been before. Hey you've got if you go to Asia ever always make your connecting stop in Korea because they have a huge huge like duty-free makeup sectional is such a good tip. Let's go with the more expensive friends and then with the less expensive brands all of its great. WHOA masks you can't get here? And then they'll be in bulk like for instance this doctor Chart Brightening Infusion Hydrogel mask I think I got a ten pack back for like Twenty Bucks. That's horrible sell them for like seven bucks so you could have a black market in masks it just if you want to take a break from writing just go fill a suitcase up. With Smith's got injured in airport. I discovered my new favorite like lip brand which this Three Studio Bruno. You can get it on down. NANDA DOT COM costs. Ever heard of that. But it's great because you've got a really moisturizing zing apparently hurt. Oh yeah fill the whole about with and then the super creamy lipstick part that goes on you got this in Korea in Korea. It's looks forgetting where every caller oh you did this and then they also do great lipstick Matt without drying. Yeah are you on the Holy Grill. Are you a red lipstick person all the time I like read. That's a little bit orange a little bit like pink because sometimes if I do the true true read I feel if you can be a little bit aging. Yes if you let too when I wear true read sometimes I'm like oh I've just age. Ten years listing. They also have like a lot of lip going on and so I don't know it just feels like a lot but now we have a couple more questions about what's happening here. What is is this? Oh so mccutchen compact. So that's why I swear by to come compact. Yes because all you do. Is You know a little. An an annual like precedent to the product. Which is like foundation? Basically and then you go poop and you're done are you an SPF beforehand. Yes okay but this also has SPF in a row. And I've long been devoted to I obey but I'm more Pacific is good if I can't get I obey here. In the states dates Amari Pacific is really nice is. Io Pay. Korean Prentice Hall yes. He does Morbid Pacific. Yes that I have bought it before but I've never heard of hoping Ayob is great and actually it's interesting because like I obey is not as expensive as a more Pacific but I think that the formulas really good. Oh interesting so so Jenny. What are you working on now? Book Wise Do Not WanNa talk about that. Being scared of as I'm working working on a bunch of stuff is the thing I mean you know. I last book came out last. May and then rush to do all the promotion stop and be on the road. And and do touring and I did. A lot of international touring last year. That I wasn't really able to sit down and write and then I went to the macdowell colony Which is an artist colony in New Hampshire? And I was there for like a month Working on something and I ended up starting something else and so it spin like I think I needed to find that center. Yeah down my regular life not in a hotel you know at the colony but figuring out what the next thing. Yeah what is day for you like when you are just in your quote unquote regular life. What is a day for you as a writer how do you how do you kind of find the will to like plopped down? Put Your hands on a keyboard and I haven't had the will but I think I mean a typical day is like I wake up around nine nine thirty and then I'll sit there and watch. MSNBC until noon you know and so that's like knock great good routine expecting Um. Yeah all day long now. It's going to happen now like here cortisol levels and then I'll be trying to go. I often right at the Soho House New York and or I'll go to a friend's house because it's hard to work at home. Yeah I have a question as a Waie WII writer. Do you find that writing about teenage characters. Is there something about that that keeps you feeling young in spirit or do you feel like you have to constantly kind kind of really understand how teenagers are relearn what they're going through today. It's interesting because I was just having this conversation with a bunch of Waie a authors and we were talking about feeling like it's hard to keep up in terms of technology but not even just literal apps but more of how it's the way that we grew up in the ninety s as a teenager. It's really it's very different now and it's but to me I don't really. I don't find it to be that hard. Honestly I don't feel I started writing. Why when I was just out of my teens means almost like I started my first book when I was in college so I was only twenty years old? Wow I did that. And at that point I was closer to that was being gene adult and now I'm in my mid thirty s and while I don't feel that removed from it I think it is more like like what I want to say with this book and what is what is this about you know. It's alright contemporary realistic fiction. And I think that can be harder then doing the fantasy because you're always in like home life situations in school so there's a lot of the real life stuff happening and you can't not acknowledge allege that people use their phones all the time to text right right. Yeah that's hard. Yeah but it's a different but then there's also this like teenagers are still teenagers teenagers. Yeah I think it's true because it's the same reason I as a mid thirties age woman can read. Why and connect with everything that's happening and characters that are existing in now in the now you know what I mean? It's there's an absence of being a teenager. That's kind of timeless. Yeah totally and miserable. It's really hard. Continue to really are boy. We've covered a lot. We have this amazing. Thank you so much your thank you. ooh Fun AIRBNB Duva question. Do you have anything on your face right now because your cheeks are the perfect the shade of cheap. I forgot this is like my favorite thing that people may not know about the Becca Beach Tint and I found my perfect my lip color but better shade. which is this beach and it's weird because it comes on you squeeze it out of a little tube and though it's like like a glossy I was I've been using the glossy cloud paint similar? I was going to say is similar to a cloud. Paint colors really works so I just did two dots. I hear dot here. My cheeks really pretty me blush and then you know that is normally a lip color color. It's actually going to be lit. Lebron Cheek again it's it is chicken lip and the glossy is not cheap. But you could put it on your lip and again the skydiver. I want you to try this leave. I have the same color watermelon in like. I had like twelve of them in one in each purse it. Because it's perfect when you don't WanNa marry lipstick a really pretty color. It looks very natural. But you've got a flush as a as a fuller woman I don't always. I need lipstick but I don't always want to do the whole thing because it's just like a lot you know it's like you're not wearing lipstick. Well you ask that. I had been like admiring from afar and I wanted to make sure we got it. Thank you got it on record Jenny. Where can people find you? Oh Oh wow well on instagram. At Jenny hone on Twitter Jenny Han. And that's pretty much. Yeah you have a website. A website called and I'm well thank you again and this was this was really great. I Love Jenni I mean. I have a huge fan of her books for so long that I had to contain my fan girling. Oh Oh you did that. She's so cool and so great so her products were so cool. Her products were amazing. And I want to go to Seoul just to go to the airport. Yes I mean I want to go to Seoul anyway. Maybe we could make that kind of put it on a vision board. Yes to a trip a friend trip trip to Seoul anybody what. What if we? What if anybody who listened to the podcast again? I've had coffee. What if we had a meet up so that would be very maybe we even have listeners and saw aw we might oh my God we could all do sheet masks? The other you know podcasting makes the world so much smaller brings together for okay. I got a car K.. Anyway that that went nuts but she is amazing so intention. Yeah K- talked to me about your intentions from last week. I believe my attention. Last week was to clean out my car yet but this was like feel like it's it's been ongoing. If you've noticed a struggle of mine is to clean my clutter. Yes I mean me too and I kind of just pushed the clutter around. I did it clean out my car but other things are still a mess. Okay so I don't know if I've actually accomplished my intention. Listen but currently. My car doesn't look like empty trash cannon which is how it normally looks. Yeah so I'm feeling okay. Hey peaceful for now all right. I think that's that's all we can thank you What is your attention for next week? We'll have a couple. Okay I'm GonNa keep going with Ed simplifying. My meal plans because that's felt so good we love it and I've been following my motto of of Keep Dinner Simple stupid yes so I'm GonNa keep working toward that And then I've also been purging our bedroom because our bedroom is where I like whenever I clean out space. Just then shove it into our bedroom. Oh Oh yeah. That's like my office. Yeah so I'm I'm in the process of kind of going through that and getting it organized. That sounds great. So how about you you tell us about your attention last week. How my intention last week was to not make any plans for this week the week of unemployment and to just relax and do nothing? And we're in this week. We are in this week. I I like mostly succeeded. I will say I say mostly because because I did to hell like I had a bunch of people be like. Oh my God. It's your first week. Like let's have lunch or Blah Blah and I was like. I'm not making any plans like let's just do it next week. And you are taking a social media. Yes I'm taking a twitter break. Who Good I was going to do? All of social media and I just realized realized that actually like instagram and our facebook group bring me joy as opposed to twitter which doesn't really bring joy and so I took twitter off my phone i. I haven't looked at twitter. It's been really nice. It's been so nice. You're not missing a thing. I feel like this might become permanent. So that's been good. I did this week on Thursday. I have a bunch of plants just because it ended up that two friends were in town and like Thursday was the only the date they could Siemian. Whatever until like okay so Thursday has become sort of like my depository for the week like I have a bunch do things but other than that? I've been pretty good. I've watched for three episodes of queer eye already so good. Yeah and I'm just kinda living life if I may go to yoga later but I don't know I might not. It's gotta fill nice to kind of relinquish control a little bit or not even that just kind of let the day unfold totally. Yesterday I drove to this place in Culver City called Lodge Bread Company that I've been wanting to try. That was amazing and I just drove there myself often have lunch and drove home. It was fine it was great so nice it was amazing. Yeah so that was great. And what have you set set for yourself as your intention for this week so this week kind of the opposite. Oh I feel like I want to come up with some sort of structure sure slash schedule for my days kind of a general like. Here's what here's how. I would like to approach my days of unemployment which aren't really days of unemployment. Because I actually like doing things to make money but like days of not full-time. I'm office work. It's a different different way. It's a different way structure my day and I feel like I need to there. You know there are things that I want to accomplish and I feel like if I don't have a plan it will all just get frittered away so I'm going to try and come up with something. That's like doable. Will make me feel good but also do not make me feel bad. If I don't spend like the hour and a half I've allotted to like so. Yeah so that's my attention. I love it. Hey wait to hear how it goes. Thanks likewise thanks I think just about a dozen for this week. That's it for us Yeah so hit us up on on on all forms of social media email twitter instagram. Call us at seven eight one five nine one zero three nine zero and we'll talk to to talk to you next week. Have a great week for over. Thirty five is hosted and produced by Kate. Spencer endures freer and produced and edited by Sammy. Cuneo please leave US apple. podcasts reviews it really helps people find the show and definitely check out our episode next week which talk to the amazing hilarious Daniel Henderson then about changing careers washing her face with sugar writing letters. Every week is so inspirational. It's amazing you're you're not gonNA WANNA miss this one.
Ep 129: Get Technical with Adda Birnir
"You know for way too long. History lessons have glossed over the truly essential contributions. Women have made history, but that's where encyclopedia will. manteca comes in this podcast from wonder media network aims to change the narrative by introducing the pioneers, scientist chefs and more from antiquity today who have shaped our society. Every weekday host Jenny Kaplan dives into the trials, tragedies and triumphs of the diverse group of groundbreaking women, and the best part is each episode is only five minutes long. The bite size episodes pack painstakingly researched content into fun, entertaining and addictive daily adventure. You have to hear the stories that shaped the women you may or may not already know subscribed to encyclopaedia. We'll Monica wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to forever thirty five podcast about the things we do to take care of our selves I. Am Doria Freer and I'm kate. Spencer and we are not experts. NOPE, Nope, definitely not, but we are two friends who liked to talk a lot about serums. And we have a voice mail where you can tell us about your serum purchases or really anything else it seven eight one. Five, nine, one, zero, three, nine zero. We also accept texts texts at that number. And our e mail is forever thirty-five podcasts at mail dot com, and you can find us. Many listeners of our podcast on facebook and our facebook group at facebook dot com slash groups slash forever thirty five podcast. Password is serums. And if you like the show, we wouldn't hate review on Apple podcasts. We appreciate it very much, and you know. Tell a friend about the show spread the word. And A reminder that all products mentioned are always on our website forever. Thirty five podcast DOT, com, you can foster an instagram for over thirty five podcast and on twitter at forever thirty five pod. So. We are recording this on Monday night. And today California announced some new restrictions kind of role rolling back some of the openings that they had. allowed. which you know I'm kind of like. Why are these things allowed in the first place, but? I. Guess It's good. They're rolling them back. I mean. Would I prefer? Yes you in charge, yes! You had been making these decisions for us. Thank you so much, Kate, you know I a thought today and I am just putting this out into the universe. Because maybe someone else can run with it, but do you remember I believe it was on May? Twenty ninth win? Garcetti announced that indoor dining was going to resume. Or that Mars opening. Like it was. It was like Oh yeah, outdoor dining program was. On May twenty ninth, but he was like. It's starting tonight like it happened superfast and the same thing I feel like the same thing happened with like bars and restaurants anyway. I was like I should do a public records. Request and find out what really went down. Interesting, okay, look at you, detective. Putting on my detective cap I'm not going to do it because. You have other things to do things to do, but I was like. There was something shady going on here I'm just going to say it. I i. mean as I was telling you before we pressed report on this podcast in feeling a little bit despondent about the state of things right? Yeah, because it was also announced today that. Ellie USD, which is the los? Angeles School district second largest in the country believe is. Doing? fulltime distance learning which. Affects my children. And then San Diego is also doing that and I'm not. Actually I'm not despondent about I. Mean obviously I worry about my children of course. And what this means in terms of like impacting their social emotional wellbeing in their education, but I also know like. They're going to be okay and I am. Feeling like they're going to be so many kids. Like deeply affected by this such negative way and yeah. So angry about so many things. Oh, Henry like. Certain things were prioritized and just like I. Don't know how we dig ourselves out of this. Whole that our country is in I. Mean this is just it's just it's just beyond and California's the first week. Go back to school pretty early. Me Go back August seventeenth here. So. This is five four five weeks away, but you know as school begins to get back in session, I imagine. Other communities are going to find themselves in the same situation, and so many families are just going to be. Completely. I just don't know how people are going to do it, and there's been no thought to how. How this is GonNa? Affect families and kids and I'm just I'm feeling very angry. Yeah I'm very angry. Feeling very angry and like angry. On behalf of just a vague vague world I don't know. I I'm not even sure what to say. I'm just. I'm really feeling tonight and. It's really invigorating. It's infuriating I'm just so mad. I'm so. You know, but I'm also like look I think it's the right choice and I want our teachers to be like there's no easy answer here. Yeah, there's just no like systems. Put in place to help the people who need it most and I'm just like. I. I, don't know like I. Don't even know where we go from here so anyway. I'm sorry to be such a downer. I wanted to that. I finished a face missed and I wanted to give it. A score of will buy it again. I wanted okay. We just talk about myths. Yet this frigging world anyway. What I've been doing to make myself feel better. It's just missing the fuck. Outta myself as if like. If I just spray my face hard enough. This will all go away. I mean hey, it hasn't worked. Sorry, that's okay, but I did want to give a shout to the Josh Rose Brooke. hydrating accelerator missed I finished a bottle. It's an empty. I will buy it again. And I want to make this declaration. It will be my plane missed if I ever go on a plane again. It's very hydrating, and this will be the thing I bring. and. They make travel size two ounce perfect for travel, so this will be. The thing ran plane. Rose Brooke I see you I like you. I like your stuff coming for you to say thank you. But this this, this is like it's. It's top notch I have so many other myths to go through, but I caught I. Just want to buy this again and keep using it so wow, okay. That is a good one strong Kate Spencer endorsement. Well, you know I got. Got To bring something to the table here and you know I'm missing all the time even during a pandemic so I am going through those bottles. Wow, do you miss all day? No I normally like got a shower or wash my face I. Give myself like a Real Madrid so in the morning and night, and then like if I'm just in the bathroom and I see ed myself a little spritz. Okay, okay, you know I have to I. Have a confession to make kate. Yesterday. I too have been missed inc.. Come. There's there's a real void and not seeing each other like in person all the time now. I feel like this would have come up. I agree been misting. I know you've really had an influence on me. I've been using their rosewater toner. The teachers are just like the super. Basic Rosewater Toner. DOC The fair which Hazel Water Toner none of the. Milk and honey and I've been using Botnia. Look you yep. When what step is this in your skincare routine? It is number one like after I. Get out of the shower or clean my face I spreads. And then I apply my serum while my face is still moist from the midst. That's the way to do it Yeah Yep Yep. Yep, that makes me kind of feel like I've had a positive influence on you. Oh, you definitely have I. Sure. There's something nice about sprang the toner directly onto your face. Like isn't there's something. And just kind of feeling like drip down at absorb. Yeah, I mean I'm a fan. Okay. I'm sure what can I say? I'M A fan. So I love. This rebuy. It's so good I. Make I might send you a little bottle just to try thank you. Stuff is good. There's aloe in it. I think it's just You watched. Palm Springs on. Hulu yes, so you had a recommendation. I have some pop culture recommendations. I really enjoyed palm. Springs, which is a movie, a new movie on Hulu. Starring, Andy Sandberg and Kristen Melanie as you say her name. Christine Malati Christian Malati. Milly Milly. Milly Idi cake got it wrong. Who is wonderful? I never really watched how I met your mother so i. Was Not really his. She's the mother. She's the mother yeah spoiler. Sorry. For a TV show. Five years ago six years ago. Spoiler alert. She is wonderful. The movie is wonderful. It was not at all what I was expecting. Highly recommend, it's kind of a perfect quarantine movie. I'll reveal the conceit, which isn't really a spoiler, because it's revealed in the first like. Ten minutes of the movie. It's basically groundhog day. Yeah, like they're reliving their The same day over and over again at a wedding in Palm Springs. And it just gets real weird and like surprisingly deep. And funny I really enjoyed it. I highly recommend, and it's only ninety minutes, so it's kind of like a perfect perfect watch. Have to get on it. You have to get on it. I also started watching. I may destroy you on Hbo Max, which is so so so that's Michaela Kohl's new show. She's the woman who did chewing gum. I watched two episodes I'm really trying to save it, but it because it's on HBO, it's not it's not like a total been just like they. The episodes are coming out weekly. And I. Think There's as of this week six maybe. But that and the. Movie where there was like the first TV I'd really like sat down to watch in a while and it was nice. I've that's another show. I'm dying to watch I just I. for some reason. I'm having a very hard time like sitting down and watching things I feel like my saves. Ban Is really. Short and limited right now same I was really struggling and both of these. I reckon I, think both of these are great for this time because they do suck, you immediately yeah, okay. Okay hate. You can watch stuff you can do it. All right well, we also wanted to give everyone a little update on some of the social justice initiatives that we have decided to do in light of everything that's been going on I believe we mentioned a few weeks ago that we were developing these and. We have developed them and now we want to tell you about them. And we should say that we did this alongside Sam. Who's our project manager? Yes, she was helpful in in coming up with coming up with these these steps that we would like to take so. The first thing we did. Was We signed the equality audio initiative, which was created by Broccoli content, and we did it on behalf of our show and ourselves as producers a podcast. And include Alinksy. You can read what that entails. And then we are going to be sending recurring financial support for three organizations whose mission we really believed in the first is girl trek, which is the largest public health nonprofit for African American women and girls in the United States. They encourage women to US walking as a practical first step to inspire healthy living families and communities and women organized walking teens, and then they like mobilize community members to support monthly advocacy efforts and lead a civil rights inspired health movement which yes, it's very cool. Yes and I have to shot out Daniel Henderson. Real og early on thirty five guest who mentioned girl track on their Instagram, and that's how I first became aware of it Thank you Danielle Yeah. The second organization is se justice they are a group and a nonprofit organization of women with incarcerated loved ones taking on quote. The rampant injustices created by mass incarceration. And then the last organization that we will be supporting as called sister song, it is a southern, based national membership organization and they. Their goal is to build an effective network of individuals and organizations to improve institutional policies and systems that impact the reproductive lives of marginalized communities. And then we will also be supporting the Patriot of women of Color podcasters. And we are supporting the Patriot of women of color protests podcasters. I shouldn't say we will be So yes, we will link to all of these organizations in our show notes on our website. If you want to check them out also, but we're really excited about all these organizations and all the initiatives that they are doing. Yeah another thing we are committing to doing which is something we've talked about. A little bit! Over the past couple of years, but Committing to something. We're calling right now office hours. I'm sure we can come up with more clever name. But we are each committing to two hours a month of office hours so that anyone who would like to can pick our brain about podcasting. Any other relevant topics. We will have a little sheet. People can fill out to request time and then. We will find a way, or we have created a way for people who are interested scheduled time with us, but it's specifically to provide. People with. Away to receive advice or mentorship or just get our thoughts on anything podcast related, and we should say we would. We would like to prioritize underrepresented voices in podcasting. Yes Office hours, and we linked to. We will have a link to a Google Forum that if you're interested in having office hours with us, you can fill out the forum, and then someone will get in touch with you about scheduling. To See in the office, yeah! We are also talking with our network, a cast about using available ad space for free podcast advertising for bypass lead shows. So you might be hearing some more at odds for Su- podcast that we Are excited. We're excited about Yup yeah we support. And listened to and listened to guess. We, also our. Main we we this is. This is something that we've been talking about a lot from the beginning of the show, but wanted to sort of codify it, which is that we want to maintain a diverse slate of guests on our show, and we had our amazing project manager Sam, do a kind of diversity audit of our guests From the beginning of the podcast, and so, what we found was that of our total guests. Sixty percent of them have been white. Forty percent of them have been people of color and of the forty percent of people color. Fifty percent of those have been black. So, we don't think we're doing a bad job. Diversity wise, but we definitely think we can do better, so we are aiming to increase that ratio to have more guests who are people of Color. Yes and we're also sending a form for people to Pitch Pitch podcast ideas. With priority given to black indigenous people of color. Anyone who has an idea, please submit it. We'd love to read your thoughts, yeah! and then the last thing that we're doing is an initiative with vote forward witch. We've mentioned on the POD before, but we're doing kind of more formal partnership with them. And our first letter, Writing Party with them will be Sunday July nineteenth, so this Sunday at four thirty PM Pacific seven thirty PM. Eastern and more INFO will be coming on our social media about how to sign up. Very soon. Let's just let's just say. All be together. In video form. Yes, and we're really really excited about that and we're. We are open to other social justice actions as a community. So if you have suggestions along those lines, please do let us know. Yeah, and I do want to add that this stuff is. This is really important to us as individuals and also as. People in the podcasting space and we've gotten some feedback of people asking us to focus less on discussing. Social Justice and white supremacy and disenfranchisement can't talk disenfranchisement of communities in America, but this is. This is really important to us And so we will continue to be talking about it. While also recommending serums. While, also talking about face missed yeah. Because, we contain multitudes. We do and on that note on that note, we're going to take a break. We are and then when we come back, we'll be talking to auto Bernier Who is the founder of a really cool company called skill. Crush your, which will make you want to sign up for immediately once you hear from. Yeah, she's so cool. All Right, Jack. Our guest today is auto, Bernier. The CEO and Co founder of skill, crush and interactive tech, learning platform with friendly instructors, an active student community and a laser focus on helping you achieve your career goals with technology with her self taught tech skills. She has built sites for the New York Times. MTV and her work has been featured in the BBC company NBC and Mashal Welcome to forever thirty five Oughta. ANC, you think they're having. So I think you're the first. Tech founder that we've had on the show. Is that right? Yeah? I think so and we should. We should also tell you. We received an email in March from a listener. And I want to read a little bit, but they said I'm studying coding I. Love it so much, although it's very difficult for me. Sometimes I have grant hopes that it can bring out of underemployment. And they said they live paycheck to paycheck, but everyone tells them to learn coding or python, and it used to annoy them very much then. They said I thought I couldn't do it. Then I found a website called skill crush. It was early, friendly had pictures of cats I had tried several online schools before and fell out of place, incapable skilled, crushed. Truly made me feel like I could do it. Could you interview more women coding? Could you interview Oughta the founder of skill crush? How. It was a really sweet email and it was. What struck me about it was how empowered they felt and how? Through skill crush. They were able to kind of come to that on their own. Obviously, they had site and everything their at their fingertips, but that idea that like you could course change course. Especially in a career on your own was amazing, so I would love to know more about. The founding of still crush what it means to be an online coding program and. What you offer to people. Especially, women identified people. Yeah and it's funny. That mail really sparks for me. We were just doing some interviews with past students, and it's funny because you know in the online cutting face. There's a lot of these rules that do this this thing. They call a job guarantee which I put 'cause. It's not really the nobody can guarantee you a job. That's not possible so whether June says they just give you a refund if don't get a job. and. Anyway this anyway, so basically, a lot of people are like you know. Like when it comes to like, guarantee us a job and stuff in. Of course, that's what we work on with students by at the same time like the thing that I know is actually valuable that students get out of our program is like with confidence in sort of A. Shift in perspective from feeling like there's no options for them to like. There's so many options for them, and they can go any direction they want and we were just interviewing a student. and. She said that she was like i. just feel like this whole. Thing has opened up for me and I. You know I was just like it's. It's hard, 'cause you're talking to prospective students. It's hard to. Explain the value of that, but that is kind of like to me. That's really where I think that's what gets me excited when I hear students. Achieve that change your perspective So. I love that email really beautiful and. So, yeah, where do you want me to begin with how founded or whether it is or How about what it is and then how it came into being. Okay so skill. Crash is an online We call it. The online coding school at the heart and with that means in practice is that we're an online? School and basically used sign up role in one of our programs and depending on the program you get access to different classes at our most popular program is called the breaking attack correspondent in it gives you access to sort of the biggest package of Both tack and career focused I'm content, and the purpose of it is really to take you from never coded. Code in my life to I am ready to, and I'm in the process of applying for. Jobs as a developer or designer sort of depending on. which path you decide to go in as if you lost this question of you, know I'm you know why should I paid? Learn to Code when I can? Seemingly, do for free and. Like I said I think it's understandable question in the reasonable question for anyone who's looking to you know, make a big investment themselves, but. At the end of the day like sometimes, I feel like I'm kind of like. While you're you're sort of questioning the whole premise of like education ray and the idea of a teacher in as a important role in the education process so we really believe that teachers are play a fundamental role in the education process, and that's not something that you can outsource to a computer. And So that's so we just have teachers and they're awesome. They help our students throughout the whole process on, so the material itself is is prerecorded videos and exercises up like that, but if he would any point gets docker confused, which is absolutely inevitable on interest is like a healthy part of the learning process. You can reach out to one of our instructors. Get support, and then on top of that we also do career coaching and Mentorship, so we'll actually work with students in terms of like putting together their resume and portfolio and identify and good jobs to reply to, and you know. Doing sort of test interview things and all of that stuff. It's kind of I really like. You, know we the way we try to think about it as from all of our own experiences of transitioning from. Workers do technical workers, which for the majority of my staff we did not have computer. Science degree is on, so we did not sort of graduate with those kind of official credentials. Until we all transition in different ways in the thing, we always ask ourselves is like what were the really challenging aspects ally, and how can we make that easier for students? And then, of course we also really believe in doing a lot of user centered design, which basically this news that we work with our students to. Understand what challenges they may be having occurred to us and make sure that we address them. But that is kind of skill freshman in Charleston also to your point. Our audience and our students are overwhelmingly women, and disproportionately women of Color, which is A. Of Pride for me? Because he basically is totally different than what you see in virtually every other educational unsettling. Talking Attack Education. Yeah! That's really cool Outta. We would love to hear what your background was prior to founding skill crush. Yes, so am I. Basically Graduated College with on two extremely marketable decrees, which was on studio, or in African American Studies. And I. And I thought I was going to work for earnest's which I did actually. I guess I didn't think they did, but basically I just realized very quickly that there was a major downsides at head, not disputed to that type of work, which is basically. It wasn't very well paid. It wasn't very stable. You end up. Working for these personalities that are gaining can be hard to work for and stuff like that so anyway, it was interesting. I learned a lot, but Basically I started looking for something. A little bit. More stable and more regular in maybe not so excited trick. And I ended up I got lucky that my. What I did my photography degree I it was like right when everything was being from analog from film to digital, until I learned how to use fetter shop into photo editing in that kind of stuff, and basically, because of that one technical skill I was able to get a job as a as a online seto editor for an online. Newsletter at the time is called Flavor Pell. Early Horse. Yeah Reno Flavor pill you know. Yeah so am basically happened that flavor. Pell therapy was one of those places that it's funny like looking back on it. It was so great in so many ways. I think at the time you know when you're young and you haven't worked at a lot of different places you're kind of. Quick to to have complaints in not really appreciate, but one of the things that they did that was really really fortunate for me was that it was one of those where they kind of hired? SMART, young people and Let them do whatever they want. It. Really so I've kind of had just had an enormous freedom, and what you know had this job today, which is to pick all these images for the newsletter, but it got to the point where I could do that without. It taking up all my time and then I sort of like I was in any kind of let me do whatever I want the rest of my time, and so that's when I got exposure to kind of the whole started to get exposure to the whole world attack. And it was really just as simple as like they had. Sat Me instead of putting me editorial side. Honest happened with all the developers and I was like. What is it you you all day long? And issue because I do think there is this aspect of technology that we all that is struggle for everybody, which is that it's like there's this element of like you see it being you don't see. It may like all interact with technology all day long, but we don't kind of you know like even even though none of us like take apart our toaster. Look at how it all comes together like we understand that we could do that. But it's hard to do that with a digital thing like i. mean now I could tell you how to do because I learned. How but I don't think it's not obvious to sort of like any person is using the phone or a computer. And so I just think there's like. I just remember being this whole like weird. We're does the code live. And Luckily for me that they were very very nice and friendly developers They thought it was funny that I was interested. In these questions I think they just didn't have a lot of people. Scheme me, says the questions in so. Start answering questions And then this was like by now two thousand eight. You know flavor felt the time was considered religion media property basically. In two thousand eight, like I financial industry lake cratered. Mealy after that advertising media business crater. And did around a layoffs at play repellent I actually didn't. Get, laid off that it kind of said to me Lake Hey. You know. That was like the shot across the valley. You might want to look for other work and so I went and got a job at a digital advertising agency which for some. Ridiculous reason I thought would be a safer place to be and so I changed jobs in the early two dozen nine, and then pretty much immediately got laid off. And when I got laid off from that Advertising Agency it was a digital agency and show. The makeup of the staff was like. Sixty percent developers, and then there was like a strategy department in the production department, and I was the production department, or as part of the production department, and they basically just got production, and they basically vetted everybody who wasn't a technical worker. and. That she just felt like you know like a really clear message I was getting I. Don't think I would put in these terms, but I think like nowadays say from the universe that was like within girlfriend. You like want to not get laid off I'm you're GONNA have to have some more sort of hard skills that you have to bring to the table. and I think until that point I had been really interested in learning more technical skills, but had been really a really thought these like completely now retrospect ridiculous thoughts like I remember like thinking like what if coating is like the one thing I can't figure out. How did you get that point ahead? Lake Gotten into college. Done women well in college. You know quote Unquote Lake succeed at everything I tried, but I like really sincerely convinced that coating was going to be the thing that lake I just couldn't do it. And that had really held me back from trying it. But getting laid off is great and I you you back. Unused you all kinds of things you didn't know you could do. So basically started to learn to code, and because I made those friends who were developers They were able to sort of point in the right direction And just it was just one of those things where you kind of take a leap of faith and. It wasn't a media that it started paying off for me, but it was like. You know in the grand scheme of things like pretty much media, and so I almost immediately started freelancing and then you know i. sort of just kind of built up might experience working for clients. And then got a you know a full time, freelance position and another full-time field, position and Just kind of snowballed like beyond what I could have ever imagined that it would do. And the result was like within three years I had. Teamed up with a friend of mine and we had started a website agency, and we had like three employees and I was like wait a second hand air. and we're working for clients near Times Republicans. all these really cool media companies New York. As for higher data, journalists at that point. and. It was amazing also. You know really had a strong desire to start my own company. That wasn't worked for hire. and. anyways to make a long story short, all this inspired us to start sort of early version of skill crashing, but the irony of this is that like I had this desire to start a company where I was selling directly to consumers or doing some kind of service that. A product that we sell but we didn't actually think that skill crush were viable business. For us, it was relieved as a passion project and then it was just one of those experiences where it's like you're trying to things, and and then you had this thing on the side that is like the senior really love. Just don't think as viable in of course it's the only one that anyone has an interest in. And so that was kind of my first lesson in A. Market Research and listening to the feedback. You've got and then just. Sort of over the course of about a year, or so, we figured out like what Scowcroft could possibly be in terms of being a business and then. Built it up from there launched it in two thousand twelve. I think we've probably been working on it in some part for about a year at that point. and. Yeah I feel like. Talking Time how? Entreating. And and it's. Said like fifty different things that I wanted to different threads that I think we could pull, but I thought it was really interesting. When you talk about how when you're laid off, and your back is against the wall. You almost feel. More able even able to take risks, but it's like what do you have to lose like you've already lost? You've lost your job everything. There's so much risk already with finances especially during the. Recession in two thousand and eight. It was a really. Scary time. What advice what thoughts do you have for people who are in that position? Now I mean there is obviously it's different were in a pandemic, and it's things are not going to shift that quickly, but. The kind of ability to. Look around you and figure out what you're curious about and how you can explore it and possibly turn it into a career. Yeah I have seventy thoughts as it has been so fascinating. In obviously like I'm very. Challenging inside sad way to watch everything played out over the last couple of months, but it's been really interesting. From this exact perspective. Ray because for me like. You know my entire career was born out of a reaction to the last recession and skill crush. is included in and. Aligned to sort of I, mean it's just so funny because like I. Had you know like? Sort of written about my story, and that's kind of a big part of. Route Genesis is skill pressure. Share that story with our students and stuff like that and you know. It was funny rereading this off because it was like a head written things like it happened so quickly. It was so crazy ray like all these things like it was like totally like took months at the time. We're like in retrospect like literally our economy. I live in New York. Right like it cratered overnight, and it was insane and I'm sixteen so interesting to see that, and then also at the same time it's so interesting to see like the same lesson I took away from that recession i. feel like is being screamed at us in this moment ray late. It's like if you ever doubted that. Tax and textiles in digital fluency was relevant. You should not doubt that anymore, and obviously this is extraordinary circumstances in i. hope and pray at one with everybody else in the world right now that you know. Like, our dependence on technology is not going to be extreme forever but I. You know I, I still think that it you know to certain degree like. This is the direction that the world is going. And? You know. Berlin. But to your point about sort of like these kinds of situations spring into action. I think that I have an amazing business coach and he was talking to me about this. sort of change model, which is basically says that people in order to make change they have to be both motivated to make the change and have confidence that they can make it, and so the example would be like. I, am a spoken I WANNA quit smoking, but I'm I. Have you know but I? Making very motivated declared smoking because I know it's bad for me, but I'd like. TRY TO PATCH I've tried the gum and I'd like tried cold Turkey and none of those worked for Amiri for so I have very low confidence that I'll be able to quit smoking so I don't even bother trying and I think that's a little bit like that was sort of a revelation for me to hear that, but that way because I think we tend to think that it's all about motivation, and that's the only matters. But it really is an. And so what he was saying, which I think is really interesting, is that sometimes the motivation is so strong, however that it can overcome all of our confidence issues and I think that's really what we're seeing at this moment, so in the smoking's able. That would be like. Maybe you tried to quit smoking, but budget times that you go to the doctor. The doctor's like if you don't smoking like you've only got six months, and then you're like. Screw it I've tried all these other things before the how it works, but like it's so important I wanna live so badly. That I'm going to make it work and I think that's a good analogy for happening at this moment, and it's really interesting for us like with enrolling students because. The concerns that students tend to have like what we see with people who come to us if they don't have a motivation problem like they know they don't like their jobs. They know they WANNA make money like we don't have to convince them that they have A. Problem to solve, but they're concern is always you know and I think this is borne out in the email that you got from your listener they're concerned is like can I do this, am I? GonNa like it. Am I too old to do. It is confusing as the teach math, etc, etc and I think what's really interesting in moments like this. Is that you just you get to this point. Where like well? I've lost job. So, like my concern. About being able to pay for my house. is so great that Lake I'm GonNa try anything including something that I think I'm too old for, or you know not gonna be able to hack it, or whatever, and and do you find that the answer? I mean the answer to me as listening to talk. Of course, no one's too old like. You can you can do it. Do you find. There's certain people that are better suited to. A career intact especially in coding. Nine any sort of like demographic way. I think the two things I to say, but concerns around ages when it's Hilarious, because the concern around age is a concern, that knows no age like I literally had an email. The one who's twenty one asking you all so. I think people in their forties like no, that's a legitimate concern for me, but I'm like. Yeah, but you'd be shocked at how young people can be. And have that concerned the other thing that I like to say it's totally sold on this really amazing friend of mine named Anna, Marie Ishmael and they. She always points out in his discussions. Is That age discrimination is illegal? So! Obviously, it doesn't mean that people don't do it, but like just as a reminder like it's not illegal for anyone to discriminate people based on age. And so I like to joke that that includes I like to ask my students to refrain from you know. Raking employment in relies when they're thinking about themselves. But. In terms of people. That's a beautiful by attack. Is that it touches every aspect of our lives, and it goes totally across industries, so they're just like really is a place in heck for everybody. I truly believe that and I think the only thing that really matters is that people are interested in it. I think as long as you're. You're going to do great. You're gonNA find a spot. That lake is a fit radio. You've written about how people can incorporate tech into their non tech jobs. So what would you recommend for someone who has no technical skills or background doesn't want to necessarily like. Become a coder. But what can they do in their jobs now? And how can this help them in their careers? Yeah I mean. They think that technical fluency is valuable. In almost any job. It's hard to like really specific answers because I do think the context matters So, obviously like what a teacher does is going to be different than link wetter. Somebody working in hospitality or something like that, but. You know the experience I had when I got into tack with that. It's like I I felt literally like I had like. Founder the looking glass and it was like this whole world existed and I had. been aware that was there, but when I got to the other side in from me like this sort of the Chasma, I feel like I crossed with like understanding coding in how digital come together. Once I had gotten over that and gotten insight into that I really really did feel like. There is a secret world that was operating right in front of my nose, and this world was like way bigger way more powerful than I. Could ever possibly Ashland on and. I think that having that perspective is so powerful And how that applies to you is going to vary. but I just think that it's kind of like. They're just like this world of possibilities that you really have a hard time. I think accessing without at least a basic sort of technical knowledge and I. Think this is why the whole sort of Lake wearing to code movement among lakes, kids managers will is strong because and I. Don't think the answer I. Don't think that's about making every single person. I think it's often misinterpreted. Everyone thinks that if you learn to cut your soccer about burn I. Don't think that's the case at all, but I think it is sort of like a basic fluency. That doesn't really give you access to. A really power functionally like what we're talking about is the ability to use the tool. The computer in like the most expansive way back can't be used. And the way that you do that is by using coding all as away to give directions to their computer, though with the computer allows us to do I think just starting statin link. It's not like you have to know how to cut in. Able to Ganj of these aspects of the computer like obviously you guys. Are you know podcasting amazing example of like? Sort of the ability to. Relegate used to be that. You had to get on the radio and like it was really clunky, and there was lots of you know took all this like apparatus, and all these people until they getting those opportunities really hard to come by now because podcasting things like then castor. You know for us can get on. That might make it happen and make a podcast. is heard by. Millions of people affiliates. I'm sure in your audience to Adam. Around the world on that is like an amazing you pass like. Opportunity that computers have made possible for US anything so it's not to say that you can't advantage of that through not holding or through you know through other avenues, but I think you know cutting. It's like. It's like. The most powerful tool Bray Lake. They use him. What's a better way to say that it's like? It's like. Least Inter mediated version. I'm using this law, so can I ask you? How then do you as a person who not only works in tech, but sees the possibilities of what it can offer? Bow, find, self-care in things that the computers and technology can provide, but also balances out the things that might not be beneficial because I really struggle with. What what we can access and the ways it can either have a positive or negative impact on my life and my. Practice! My Self Care Practices. Yeah I mean I hear that for sure. I mean I think it's funny. Actually like one of the things that has been really bad herbs May computer usage, been having a baby, ironically, because I used to, for example have a role which is I. Never took the phone into my bedroom ever. And I think that deserting sent when when you work on the computer all day lake. You've like I'll speak for itself. I found the need to like really create clear boundaries, and that was one of them but ironically because with when you. When I had my son back in September. I was like obsessively tracking breastfeeding. So I think like I. Don't know one of my. It's funny now. He's seven months old. It's like your perspective already is like so different than I have a baby At first. I was terrified that I forget to feed him. WHO's like now? I'm like that's hilarious like he'll let you now. He wants that a bit like anyway, so I was like obsessively checking like how much I had. When I breastfed to make sure I had I would like miss officiating. And anyway that just led to me having my phone in my bedroom all the time now I still have my run in my bedroom time in. It's totally problem that I need to address, but yeah I mean it's challenging for sure, and I think for me. One of the biggest challenges has also has an entrepreneur. Has Been and I read an all company rate Lake, so I literally run company from my laptop in like laptops around all the time like what's to stop me from working time, and that's just been an ongoing process. Ass, man, I think. That when you start a company, it's really intense in so i. think a certain This is just the nature of starting a business, but I definitely got to the plane like three or four years end where I woke up one day and was like I can't keep living like this big revelation for me was not working ends. I don't know. I feel like I'm not really offering anything like mind. Blowing hair exceptions like yes, I struggle with it, too. It's hard, and it's an evolving process of sort of going too far and then real in your back in trying to. Proper boundaries. What are some best practices for people who are managing remotely for the First Time? Okay, one is really obvious to me, but doesn't always seem to be obvious other people which is that I. Really do believe that you have to be on video. When you're managing. It's surprising to me. How often people will not be on video? And I think I. DO understand and I think that. I've been in so long that I don't think about this. But. I do think you have to really create a culture of Lake. Comments you are like it's fine like you can have your hair all the CHEVAL Whatever like it's still. Critical like okay with. Where people feel comfortable? In especially in this moment where we're at home in our kids are here in our houses are mass Whatever like you know didn't take a shower this morning? It can be hard. To of feel comfortable with that, although I will say on the flip side like this is my favorite part of the pandemic is like watching TV in like seeing all the people who celebrities on TV who are used to having Karen makeup done for them. When they don't have that. Like makes me feel so much better. I totally love it, but anyway so. There's just so much communication that happens visually and if you don't. Like if you don't have video orange to you're missing out on a huge opportunity and he gets a really big part of sort of major that. Same page everyone feels good that you're like. You know I just think there's a lot of cues that you would miss. About would be like my number one like super obvious thing. And then I do think that you know like for us the way this kind of played out was that. We I started the company. There was like three of us, and then we got to like five, and then we got to eight. And it was really interesting to see how everything that had worked where we were five people like totally fell apart eight people, and then very quickly we dabbled in sixteen, and then like really all hell broke loose, and I think one of the things. I've come to believe that. Do you think sort of issues around organization management. I'm are. Harder to manage when you're remote, I think there's a certain element of lake that kind of stuff that can get worked out in person in in formal avenues that won't get worked out in In a remote environment I think you have to be more on top of things like project management documenting staff following like having mechanisms for that and you know for us, we use. I apologize for matches, attack jargon, where which is a process called scrub, which is absurd, traditional soccer development process, and it's basically just a project management process That is designed to be sort of very iterative and it basically means that I. Think that it's almost like a religious practice because what you do is like. Every week you do a thing called sprint and then. You start with a planning meeting. Replan what you're GONNA. Do you commit to a certain amount of work? And then every day you do a fifteen minute check in where you discuss the progress that you've made and then at the end of the sprint period review review all the work and give feedback, and then the most important part and I think this is the part that people are most likely skip is that you do a retro and so you like? We spend an hour every week reflecting on the last week and talking about it and working through any issues that came up. And it's so easy to deprioritize that and it will bite you in the ass every time. You deal and doing it every week is it's like it's so helpful and I I do. It's like my religious practice every week, so dear. I also recommend that. A video on a weekly retro. You'll actually probably be okay. because. It's like all the other stuff is details. All the other stuff is stuff that is so individuals each company, but as long as you have a process of working surfacing the problems and working through them. Then you'll be okay. It's Yeah I love that idea I've never even I've never. Had that in any. Job Kate. We're going to start that. I I was just thinking that that's such an interesting like. Such a great idea yeah, it's so funny. My husband's a teacher and I mean. Of course they right now is like murder and mayhem for all teachers my candyman. But I always like he's like talking to like he'll talk about. Challenges are having in his department. Is that like that link? How often do you guys retro? And he's like what are you? there. Yeah, there's your problem. You have no process for like addressing issues as become a chance. Oh! Yeah Eric. What are some of your daily self, care, practices and how would they changed during this? Wild global pandemic time. Yeah I, mean I. It's funny because I got an link for me like I had a baby in the end of September and was on maternity leave until January I came back part time and I went full time in February and my son went to daycare for like six weeks. Five weeks I'm not even sure and we got to colds and stomach, Leo. And then the role went crazy. So, I'm very much trying to figure it out. You know it's been funny. I have yeah I mean south carry, think with a BB Israeli challenging. My husband doesn't amazing. Luckily lucky for me, two things one. He's a teacher, says he has to get up early second his morning percents, so I'm very fortunate that he basically my son way in the morning. He takes I'm not saying sleep end. So that is probably the single. Most important is self software, and it's really it's like It's like heavily enabled self care including my husband. And then after that. It's more like I feel like. I'm more just like it's like. What am I doing to cope right now? And the answer is a lot of baking. I now, the the mother of two different scientists orders which I. Don't even know. Until I got one and then realized that. Yeah that there are variations apparently I have I have a regular starter in San. Francisco Artists Special Privy San Francisco the makes everything really sour, so ooh. ooh, that's cool. I feel like a total cliche, but It's working for me and Yeah I. Mean Yeah, otherwise you know things I'm not doing is I'm not exercising. Don't shout very often. These are aspirational things I was like. It's been funny to like I was on. It's funny like my husbands. Go to exercise and I am I go to is like coffee and cookies. Which I'm totally I you know I'm not I'm not judging myself. I'm just sitting. That's pretty much primary. Now I did buy this Lake Murray. meko uniqlo matching shorts in Taw. Do you feel like this desire to like? I don't know it's hard when you're never getting out. You know like I like. Yeah. I. Don't think love dressing up, but like never get to do it. It's kind of a bummer. And I also feel like we're possibly more in touch with our authentic style. Now that we aren't constantly worried about being judged public like I feel much more bold with how I want to. Dress and style myself at home right now than I normally do going out. If that makes any sense, I might be the terminate. It makes sense anything, probably you. No I get it because I. Feel like we've all those ones where we'd like tried on crazy outfits with this. Where again like now it's like. Who Cares and yeah exactly. Yeah I mean it's been interesting for me because we are a company and then I should I had in years past worked occurring space then when I was pregnant. My I I was so sick, and then after that I was just so big. That I ended up working from home alive so I've you know for last year? I have been working from home. said it's weird. In a way that there's a part of my life. That really hasn't changed. And then the rest of it is just like totally crazy. It's such a weird. It's so weird. This is such a weird situation. There's like. What else can you say about that? Yeah? It's truly bizarre in the only. We're all the comforting thing is that we are all going through it at the same time, so even with a different experiences, some sort of UNIFYING THING YEAH That's a really interesting for me. That's interesting thing to reflect on is like. That I don't think in the past. When I had gone through something difficult, I realized how much of the pain of that is feeling like you're the only person going through right. On that until all of a sudden, everybody was going through it and I was like. Wow, it really is easier. Everyone's going through it together Even though it's worse obviously like I, wish I was only person suffering from the pandemic radio. It'd be better for everybody else, but. It is truly been a pleasure to chat with you today. Where can people find out more about skill, crush and about you on the Internet? The best places Dot Com we have a free coding camp that acreage everyone to sign up for, and it's actually like real lessons from our classes, and I think you know our goal with the couldn't campus to show you that tech is. Not Nearly as scary intimidating as you think it is and like I say like. We would love for you know every single person listening to student, but even if all you do is get inspired to go, enrolls aroused for totally happy with that, because the more people who. Are empowered by technology. I think the better for everyone. Especially, the more women and women of Color and people who have otherwise previously not been represented in the technology so yeah. Yeah. Great well, thanks again. A. Ready to intense she it up. Oh I'm I'm always ready. I mean honestly there's so many things that I could put down here for my intention area right now, yeah! That, it's starting to feel a little overwhelming. Yes, so did you get back to your one one a day? Just one line of danger and all I did let me just triple checked me I. Did it last night? I had like a good chunk of days off Yup. I did it. I did it yesterday. Yes, so this so since I said this on the podcast I have done it consistently. So I will say there is value in setting an intention. Yes, on up on a podcast. Holy I have been I have been getting to it I'm really glad I have it. It was. I got to write my birthday. And then there's kind of this nice feeling like Oh, every year I'm going to get to see what I did on my birthday for the next five years. Sweet little. Treat yeah I'm still down with one a day journal. I'm so glad to hear that. so that that is nice to see that actually followed through on it this week. You know I can feel. The ways in which my mental health challenges are starting to. Stern ramp up a little bit. I know myself and I know when my anxiety which is. A lifetime experience for me when it starts to kind of the swing up again. The pros despite the PROZAC in the therapy and everything else. Yeah, and the the first place. It kind of goes with my sleep laying stock. I start not sleeping. And I'm doing it and I have not done this in years this kind of lake. fitful sleep, not going to bed. Having a hard time falling asleep, I'm really. Kind of struggling with it so. I, also know like it's good to be gentle with yourself right now and always, but especially right now like we are in an unusual time that no one expected to exist in so. I know like you're not I'm not GonNa Practice on my good habits. Habits, but I know. My mental health is GONNA struggle, but I'd like to get back into going to bed. And like in a productive way going to bed earlier than I have been reading instead of dislike screen looking I'm really struggling. I said I I'm having a hard time watching anything. I'm having a hard time reading I kind of just like stare at social media for. Days and then like. fitfully fall asleep by one am, and that's non normal for me. So That's mine. Slow heavy, but that's fine this week. Just Kinda start start picking away at that. I'm all for that. Thank you, how are your bath? How are your bathroom? They're still pretty freaking dirty. Did you clean? You're wants to clean I didn't. I set it on a podcast and I didn't do it. Well. That's the beauty of this podcast. Is that link? If you don't do it, it's also okay. That's the point of intentions. They're not true and our full commitment. It's true. My husband. Struck a deal with me yesterday. If I if I took over his henry shift half an hour early, he was going to clean the bathrooms. and. What is like a? WHAT'S HIS Henry Shift? So we split up the days gotta gotTa go, and he mostly has the middle of the day. Because I, get up with Henry and then like I come back in the late afternoon, and then we are both on in the like. Dinner you know prebath period. So if there was a parenting trade going on here, yes, there's apparently due date happening. Did it happened in the bathrooms? Get clean well. He was all clean the whole house. If you if you start at three thirty instead of four. And I was like really including the bathrooms, and he was like yeah, and there is a there is a can of Kabuga out in our bathroom, but I do not believe anything. Clean. A so yeah. Anyway? We're all something will happen this week it has to. It's just getting ridiculous. Call May I may I share just a quick anecdote. Yes, on that kind of like swap anthony and once made a deal that if he did the dishes every night like wash the dishes and loaded them in the dishwasher. I would fill the humidifier because he hates filling humidifiers I don't know why that a May two seconds and I hate doing the dishes. So that was our trade. It made no sense, but it worked. So sometimes sometimes he's GonNa make these weird totally totally anyway, I'm sorry. What do you have on the schedule? For the so I also was going to have asleep. Based intention I have also been staying up way too late like turning out lights, alike eleven, thirty eleven forty five, which is. Too late for me like I'm waking up tired, I need a ten PM curfew like I need to start my bedtime routine at tab. I think I do too and I will confess one of the things that's been keeping me up. Is that if implying fricking animal crossing Nintendo yeah? I do the same thing to confess or no. Now I try not to bring it into bed. I did bring into bed last night because I hadn't played. All night because I was, I had my Mahjong game. My weekly Mahjong game. So I was like play a little bit of across before a bit, but by the time I got into bed I was so tired that I barely played any what I usually has been what I have been doing is getting into bed. Online at age all playing like two, maybe three hands of Mahjong and then going to sleep. And you're able to fall right asleep. Even after having that kind of brain stimulation usually yeah, because I'm usually so tired by the time. I'm like falling asleep. Playing Mahjong Yeah Yeah. That I just like conch out. But it's too late for me. So I I need to recalibrate. All right well. Are you on your phone? If I sent you a text tonight at ten that go to bed, go missed your face Oh, yeah! Do it, would you be on your phone or have you already? Put Your phone away by that point. I. Mean I shouldn't be on my phone anymore. But you might be. But I might be, but I'M GONNA try to not be. Okay okay. So. All right, let's try okay, let's try. All right everyone, thank you for listening. Thank you for coming on this journey with us as always and yeah, we appreciate you we do forever. thirty-five is hosted and produced by me or freer and kate. Spencer! Produced Limited. By Sami Hunia and say read our project manager and we will talk to you in a couple of days. By.
247 - Champions In Our Own Ways
"This is exactly right and a one to sri forget chunky right. Hello and welcome to my favorite murder. That's georgia heart star. That's carrying gareth. We are here with you on thursday november fifth. That's right twenty twenty. that's right. What a week and what a week. It's been oh my god that's so much crazy stuff guys. Yeah it's currently right now. As we're speaking wednesday evening yes so a things are still up in the air right. Nothing has been announced officially. There's lots of reason to have good feelings. But god forbid we have feeling. I'm not. I don't have good feelings yet but i'm i'm there. Everyone i know in love is having good feelings. And so i'm gonna trust you guys but hey you're right to fear good feelings because we haven't had them in a long time and we all have. Ptsd from two thousand sixteen. That's right so nothing. This is also similar. That can't feel good now at the moment any but it does feel good. The the narrative that we're learning this week is that it is as bad as it seemed the last four years. That's how it's still a negative positive. Sure there's no there's no only positive after an experience like the one we've had with this leadership but the fact that at nine o'clock last night looking at twitter it was a very different story that's happening today. Oh it was insanity. So yeah i think i did it in a way that scared me into them this morning waking up and going. Oh all is not lost away to second quite the opposite. Yeah so we just needed to be official and We need responsible parties. Come out and say stop trying to create violent. Yeah yeah i was. I had a therapy appointment today. And i was. I had a realization. That i get along really well with my mom when there's a democratic president and i realized like oh yeah the obama years i could just laugh her off. Laugh all the shit she said to me off yet like oh mom you know what i mean but the last four years i've every time she brings something up at trigger something from my childhood sheriff so when we go to this mediator slash therapist in two weeks i feel like maybe i'll be a better place to like be open to her. That's the dream it is yet because it's a the balance of power shifting or at the reality you know we are a spend time in the another reality right if it takes away some of her power over my emotions and feelings and that'll be nice and high time and it's high time that happened. Yeah right yeah enough already enough already. That's right what are you doing to distract yourself. This week from podcasting. I don't. I don't understand how i'm still podcast. I have stephen. Is there with me every time i do it. I have nothing to say anymore. I can't it's literally like do. You want me to describe how i made toast this morning. It's just unbelievable that through all of this. We've just continued podcasts. Weird like all we talk about. And everyone's like talk about tv shows. Were watching distract ourselves from the end of the fucking world or like a. I got to see someone face to face the candia benching on right now for real. I ha i actually had to go through out a bag of the nerds rope. Tow these insert whatever those nerds. Things were ariza. Different version of them at people kept recommending yet. They're like like this version and much actually easier to eat as opposed to the rope that where the get everywhere i actually was like. Oh i can handle that. But i don't need it in my house no i had Several handfuls and then stood up and walked to the garbage through the moya said. Stop pretending even just fucking can't like enough already with this fucking behavior. I'm doing that but with alcohol. Yeah how's it going. It's going well actually. This time totally feels. It feels a little different like. I'm not doing it because i'm not doing it for like thirty days and i'm not doing it to lose weight. I'm doing it. Because suddenly. I realize i'm not fun anymore and not. It's not actually giving me anything. And i'm not enjoying it at all so it feels like a little shifty a little different sure suddenly. I'm i'm ready to deal with the anxiety that i've been pouring alcohol on for twenty years. You know maybe. It's because i've really great therapist right now and i'm seeing her twice a we but there's something something that feels a little different this time that's and you have security in your life and you have other things to worry about like bigger ray things and maybe not. Maybe you can just update the story. Which is i'm not. I wish i could do the same for myself. But that whole idea is what my therapist always says as we had something happen to us usually around like twelve thirteen and then your like limbic system or whatever whichever one it's called like you're reactive system kind of stops taking an information like you have already seen this. I'm not fucking doing it again. And she always says that to me. She's like the worst thing already happened. This is all just kind of like reacting to the memory of what happened and so. Yeah the moral three about that. Refugees horrifying horrifying unu- should get to skip it. It's such a terrible. I was in rehab at thirteen. You went with the worst possible. Oh god i am an journaling about it now which is actually really helpful. And i'm doing. I wanna recommend if anyone else's trying it which we all are at some point right so aside from the stuff i was reading before When i tried this last year the beginning of this year of this naked mine by anti grace and listening to and then. I found a new book. It's called quit. I didn't know that was the thing quit. I'd never heard of that. I hadn't either like all the sobriety books i read. That are like. Here's how to do it. And here's what works for me and here. I am a woman and we can do it. It's called quit lit. Which i oh. Isn't that great so here. I knew quit suggestion. It's called. Mrs d is going without and it originally was an anonymous blog way back when blogs existed by this woman in new zealand and her name her name. Lada dan and she is i identifying with her so much and it's just a really light easy read about how fucking hard it is to become sober when you even though you need to. So i'm enjoying that. Yeah but i mean other people stories. That's kind of the key railing that that it isn't specialty you. You're not the not only are you. Not the only one. It's very typical. Yeah it's tons of people deal with substance issues. Everybody doesn't somewhere other yes. We all deal with soothing. Our soothing our trauma in some way or another. Yeah ideally with therapy and learning. You know really truly how to cope with it but that doesn't usually happen and it takes a long time to get there well and also some. We'll pick things up and put them back down and you get you go in and you go out of it. And there's a drama within doing that and that's all part of it and if you can kind of pull back and see that's all part of it and it's not like a failed again but it's like everybody fails again and again and again and then tries again and the whole point is building your resilience to keep trying and to kind of keep open. I think that's just a you. Just don't it's never the final chapter. You just get to keep trying. That's right that's yeah it feels at forty suddenly like crazy that i'm just now ready to to not obsess about when i get a drink again or drinking or that. I have a hangover or that. I feel like shit and like this this whole pattern that i've been doing. I'm suddenly ready to not to not distract myself with anymore. Sure can forty. It's like it just seems wild but it took aim. That's how long it takes. I'm sure it'll happen again. Whatever the it's always something. It's because literally it reminds me of when i was in my twenties and my great idea for my eating disorder. Was i was going to take. I took Fen phen yeah but without the downer fan it just was the it was the first version so it was only and so i stopped. Eating almost entirely didn't care about food and never thought about it. Lost a ton of weight very fast and started obsessively compulsively shopping Where literally went to the beverly center every single day and had my closet looked like a little mini gap stacks of color coded shirts. It was pure insanity. And that's when i saw that it was like oh it's not about the thing i'm doing right you couldn't you didn't have to eat your fucking stress away anymore. You needed something else. So shopping yet. Became something will replace it in. It's just about the kizzee have to dig down further. It's not just the thing. Yeah it's what's underneath it and like sitting with it so man. My therapist told me this really great analogy. I think it is where it's like okay. There's a tiger in a cage and tigers pacing back and forth in this little cage whole life. But it's comfort and then suddenly gets put out into the big field and gets taken out of the cage but it continues to pace back and forth in the same area. The cage would have been way because that's what it knows. That's what's always worked. That's what's safe and That's the only way it knows how to deal with life and you can't realize you have this big open expanse of other possibilities yet. I think that's right. Yeah it sounds right on. I mean it makes sense to me. It also makes me think of how steph drinking. After i was hospitalized for it hey at least. You didn't get fucking hospitalized county hospital for it. Hey hey rehab at thirteen. Let me just look. We think champions in our own way. That's right this whole time. But when i when all the alcohol was finally out of my system and i was home for a couple of days i had that dream where i was standing on the prairie with tall grass up to my hips green grass and this wind was blowing and i could see all the way up and all the way to either side like i was crazy like a fly with like crazy vision complete peripheral and it was like three sixty vision or one eighty hundred set of this tunnel that you can looking into your so moving and so slake i'd kind of in the dream going ho. I get like thinks things are being so on the nose brain but it is. It reminds me of the tiger story because it is that thing where it's like. Yeah you don't have to just go in circles anymore which can be just as intimidating and just as fraud and you know there's freedom is scary to learning how to pace the cage as a young person worked for you and so you've been you keep doing it even though the cage is gone because you haven't yet learned that your free and how to end because if you have these coping mechanisms that go four feet by four feet by four feet. You're not going to be like watch me fuck and take off into the woods like you're never learned how to take off into the woods. No that's all new. It's like you got to give yourself let yourself adapt and adjust. Yeah and fall down and get up. I feel like to to therapy sessions. A week is really is really helping me with that. Yeah finally it's good deck a decade of therapy like it's just crazy how that works. Yeah but then it's good then like i love the. When i suggested to my therapist i was like. Should we go to three days a week. And she's like. I don't see why not you have the money and you're right what else. I could spend it on nerd ropes. That's gotta stop spending it on. At least up sending me suggestions of nerds want to eat that shit me more because also i realize like pacing the cage eating a bunch of sugar in them laying on the couch and panicking is a vibe. It is like a choice. And a feeling that. I don't have to be an and you are you are you are like triggering emotional reactions with sugar. Sugar does that to you and your hormones and your sugar fucking word bad for you has to eventually someone has to figure out once we're gonna do the covid vaccine cares then. Can we please have a sugar vaccine. Yeah because those people that are like. I'm not that into desert. Where what part of the world is your family from. I have to an open bag somehow. Fucking milana's in my house because i just can't not have them like it constantly. Mead need it i know. We talk about the queen's gambit but we found out that we on net flicks so good you find it because someone tag me in it. And i didn't know what it was. Someone on twitter was talking about it. I think it was james urbane iak or somebody who i i like their taste and yet they're smart and the they basically were like wow. I'm surprised i didn't even know what this was. And all the sudden i stumbled upon it. And it's such such a delight. So i kind of had bookmarked it. And then yeah and and the second started. I was just like the visual story. Live the fuck and everything so good so good so basically. I wrote down that. It's it's like omalie meets. What was that movie where he stated what movie About taureg wait toured the volkswagen again. No tori the suv. By what the guy who who solved the puzzles in world war. Two alan turing was that movie called. Torri like imitation. Thank you thank you okay. So it's like family meets the imitation game. Don't you think a little. yes totally. Yeah why not and the word cock sucker gets bandied about a lot in the first episode by children by really appreciate it. And there's children pill no spoilers but it's it's it is absolutely we're the only thing is it's it's just a fictionalized story from a book. I believe yes it is. I looked it up. It's from a book. I wanted that person that character to be really now badly. But of course because it's a perfectly written character with the perfect background and storyline is just so compelling that also about the hotel in russia. I was just like i want to walk around that hotel so bad but i haven't gotten there yet. I've only gotten through upset. One was really long. I got through that and now starting episode too. But i am excited about it. It's to delight. The whole way through doesn't disappoint. All those actors are so god the little baby boy from From love actually hollies. Yes i thought david spade when i first saw him. Israel he's david spades illegitimate. He's such a good actor. He is the queen's gambit and queen is like chess. it's not like the queen. So right someone saying i don't wanna watch it 'cause i'm sick of british royalty stuff and it's like no no no i s find. Get out and get out with you. It makes a really stupid. Because i don't know how to play chess. Do you know how to play chess. You know what's funny. As a as i was watching it. I had recovered memory in grammar school. I did play. Oh and there was a like a chess. We got to go to one of the mobile home buildings. That was out outbuilding or grammar. School property wilson school. What wilson wildcats. What we got to go out there and this there we at a really smart genius chess teacher and we would just all sit there and play chess all the time but it wasn't like how they were doing it. We knew it. We didn't know a ways of play whole systems and you weren't aims by legitimate fictional savant. But i was kind of. I mean we don't know whether it could have been in the right in the right situation you may. Even if i were were no one was paying to be by. If i can. I go to this chess tournament. Wbz i'm not driving you there. I'm not driving. All the way to nevada show wants to watch s but it was kind of funny because i was like this is so interesting and then i was like wait a second. I used to love chest. But i didn't. I don't have a memory of con of the concept of the game except for like one of them could move and like an upside down l shaped he. That's all i can remember. It's hard. I never got past checkers. Offers is very complex. When you think about it get into double up on her. Sure sure sure sure. What else are you watching doing lead. I escaped into last night. I basically was like stay off. Twitter state media. You have to. You have to give yourself over to the question mark of this situation and so i turned on one of my bbc series. Martin chuzzlewit charles dickens. That's series that's comforting. Tom wilkinson is one of the leads. Who is just the most delightful british actor ben in a million things in one in a million awards and you know who he is. Yeah but it was one of those things where i was just like. Oh i need Something completely removed from modern life. Yeah right now and edward. I went to sleep angora sweater of people talking like this yet other detained and some horses and animal courage is right. That sounds good so for exactly right news. We're really excited. Because at the end of this episode you're gonna be able to hear the brand new trailer for our brand new exactly right. Podcasts called ten more wicked that we told you about. It's hosted by crime journalist and author kate winkler dawson who She's she's written some of your favorite true crime books. My favorite recently is the book american. Sherlock which is an incredibly. If you haven't read it it's unbelievable. It's basically you know it's about one of the first friends. Science scientists in america. So kate is the host of this podcast and she basically takes all of her journalistic and author knowledge and intelligence essentially and she digs into the story of one of the first serial killers in america. And it is and there's a whole kind of like side story about neuroscience is just a fascinating historical true crime series that she's hosting. We really think you're gonna love definitely. It comes out on monday. November twenty third. So be sure to like and subscribe on itunes or stitcher. or wherever. You listen to podcasts. And stay tuned at the end of this episode till listen to the trailer. It's really an awesome podcast. So good so proud so proud. Proud little fledgling network is becoming this. Like you know it's growing into a battle essence. It's you know it's because it's becoming its own person and learning and growing and and making friends with really smart people who make their own podcasts. Really well make make really good stuff. They wanna come to our party. It's it's the best. It's it's really good. Yeah thanks for supporting us to you. Guys it's all because we have the best friggin listeners. Yes absolutely we think of you. When we're trying to pick these podcasts. And what you might like in what might Serve you in your day to day life and there's many more to come. That were very excited. I can't believe it. I'm so. I wrote down today like on a form that like it was like what do you do. And i'm like podcast. A writer and business owner a fucking were business owners. That i mean. It's all right. This owners who as of this weekend won't have an office anymore. Sad i know you had to give up our lease on our office. We had rented an empty office for the past six months. Or whatever about. I know. I know it's such a weird time you know and it's such a weird time. It's nice that we can all kind of go through it together. And yeah distract ourselves with podcast and television things that we like and whatever and and also you know feel connected yam each other and one of those ways that we're doing that is by an maintaining our sanity is by putting up a quilt episode. This week carrying it right both picked one of our favorite stories that we've ever done And so we're going to post those. They've never they've never been an episode together and they're not live there. You know older episodes that we live older stories that we love right. And that we and that you've told us you so it's it's Yeah we're doing this kind of the eagles greatest hits just because this week was has been incredibly stressful as is has been for everybody so we weren't going to be doing the usual homework where he tried to take it easy a little bit and then be like okay. Well we can. At least we'll hang out we'll check in. Yeah and then. We'll play some stories at people. We know people like so that we don't all go crazy. 'cause i am having a hard time unclench ing my t. oh Much much less sitting down and writing a six page book report hotel six pages long. I laugh in the face of six pager. There never six pages now. there's supposed to be. There was a time when they were four. Three to four and it was like k. K. by peace peace in the streets but no longer. Oh nine at least minimum. Millie to jericho. And i'm daniel henderson and we're the host of. I saw what you did a brand new podcast about the fun of watching movies on the exactly right network each tuesday we pick a different theme like really bad boyfriends great seventies apartments neighborhood current movies about the mall and hysterical women who have every right to be hysterical. Then we picked two films. That best showcase it. It's like having your coolest. Single childless chain-smoking on hand pick movies. You've never heard of or always meant to watch. You'll definitely build your movie knowledge and fill your watchlists if you love. Movies are sick of falling asleep to the same sitcom every night. Or just need a break from the daily fresh horrors of the world tune in every tuesday to i saw what you did starting on november tenth and be sure to subscribe on apple podcast deter or wherever you like to listen and find us instagram and twitter at i saw pod for all your double feature needs so. Should we minds going i. Yes week so. I'll introduce that so i'm going to take you back dear listener all the way back to may twenty seventh twenty sixteen may of twenty sixteen when we were so young and innocent and believed taking back. I mean let's go back now. Let's just let's just do it. Mentally have a fundamental exercise. Back to georgia's old apartment with no air conditioning. Right if it was may twenty seventh already started to get very hard. That's right twenty sixteen. I think i probably had minimum two jobs at the time. had just gotten married That's we that's a nice. Yeah yeah we were just. We're just slowly putting this thing together. George everyone twelve would show me Some good positive thing on her phone. And then i go. That's don't get used to it. I tell you the numbers where we are on the on the comedy chart and you'd be like shut the fuck away from me. I don't believe in anything. That's my beautiful journey from show. Business cynic to a wide believer in the matt in the possibility of magic. Yeah yeah so anyway. This is from episode eighteen eighteen. Discover where we called investigating investigate team discovery. Who knows back when we would do that. Not only the extra work of trying to make one of those good pun titles but i also had people. They'll never forget my friend. Alex and who i worked with. He was the show runner on her show. I was writing on any. He wrote into me for one of them. That was so good and it was like we needed the help. Where i'm like. We can't keep doing this if we have to rely on outside source. Yeah we start. We dropped that like naming naming podcasts. After that number pretty quickly yet we had to. Yeah because there was so much work anyway. Yeah investigating discovery so this is actually a story that Last summer we did some compilations of leg. Year guises favorites Favorite shows and this is a story of mine from a your favourite show and it's unbelievable and amazing survival story of mary vincent. So here's twenty. Sixteen me telling two thousand sixteen georgia in twenty sixteen georgia apartment about this nightmare story. Should we get into the Sorry i don't have saint as i mentioned earlier. They didn't know that was. Oh here. we go guys. I'm going i this week. I think you're i. I think i going gonna get cuddled in. Yeah i'm gonna have this half a glass of whisky. Drank some of your whiskey. I wish i could. I drank all mine already before you were beyond one thousand nine hundred seven. I had my love. She god i was good at it. My therapist told me that we're doing an experiment where i'm drinking two glasses of booze days just to see how it goes so i'm allowed to classes of busy day. Oh what's no more no less. Yeah we're just seeing how this goes so it's almost like you don't feel like it. Oh no then. I still have to force it down. Yeah when this is clearly like this was two glasses of whiskey in one. Big cup off fun. does that count as one. It does to me go if i was your therapist. Hail yeah girl. I had this realization When i was trying to think of this week's there's so many good cases and there's so many people over you're passionate about the cases that are their stories or just once they like Thinker fascinating There was a guy that tweeted me a case. His at his twitter handle was at arkansas. Heuer's arkansas lawyer and it was a case of a guy. I think his name is bobby. Lee foster bobby joe foster who killed his own. Mother edna and cabinet are and put the head in the local church and then took the is and mailed them to eisenhower in actual fact. Yeah it was crazy but So i was kind of ended that thank you for sending that i love it. I mean you know. But i had a realization that when we were talking about our kickoff murders The ones that got us kind of into it. I realized that factually and date wise. I had an earlier. One then diane downs and it because it happened in the bay area And it's this lawrence singleton attack on mary vincent and later murder of So largest tell you about it. let's unpack. Let's unpack this. It happened in nineteen seventy eight. So i was eight years old and this was on the news. It was like in nineteen seventy nine when he wants to trial and all the stuff happen and it was on the news every night my parents were livid. They talked about it all the time. You must have just been. You're there to yes because it was. We watched the news together as a family every night for dinner. Feel there's nothing more harmful for a kid. Yeah no one knew. I know it was back. This was the late seventies where no one knew what was good or bad for children. It was all just like eat. Your cereal go outside. Try to survive come home and then we'll watch the news together. It was a generation away from children before after children being coal miners now time in between coal mining and children being carried their entire lives until they get to college right essentially. So i'm the last of the last of that generation i lived. So here's the story on september. Twenty ninth nineteen seventy eight. A man named lawrence singleton who was a merchant seamen. Always a bad job richard. Speck was emergency. Who really there. It's bad news. I think is what happens when you're like super fucked up and you put your so fucked up you don't want to join the army sear like all go out and ship for awhile with a bunch of do yeah So he picked up a fifteen year. Old hitchhiker named mary. Vincent in berkeley california me. Mary had run away from home She lives in las vegas. Her parents are getting divorced. It was all fucked up and she had friends in the bay area relatives so she Made her way up to the bay area but she was homesick and she'd been on her own for a while she had a boyfriend. That was bad to her. She she left him ran away. she just wanted to get back home sweetie so she Is hitchhiking in berkeley and a van pulls up and there two people hitchhiking behind her now. Just now there's mary vincent herself tells this story on. An episode of is survived. It was season for episode one and it is epic. I know you don't like survivors. I thought in love survivors and things like this where you get the firsthand account of something. This story is also insanely fucked. I guess if there if she's it's been that long. I can't deal with it right and she's in it's one they can tell their own story. They're not you know that they're able they're in charge of this narrative and they can tell what happened and yeah and when it's a grizzled fucking bartender like cafe waitress and she's like this this is what fucking happen to me. I can deal with it but when it's like some college his life is ruined. No you will. Because here's the thing the saddest part about it but the truest part about it is it happens to a lot of people so when you have one woman sitting there going. Ab here's what happened to me. A b c and d. You not only get the. Don't fuck and hitchhike. Keep your eyes open. Pick up on context clues you have all that but you also have survived an you can survive and you can't come out the other end. I help other people and it's okay to it's okay to tell your story like you don't have to keep the huge secret. There's other people who have been through similar or worse yet and and you have to tell your story as part that's part of healing so so a lot of what i have here is basically her first hand account holy shit so the van pulls up and there's two hitchhikers behind her berkeley seventy eight And the guy that's driving the van says he only has room for one person and says it's mary well the two hitchhikers behind her go. Don't get nut van because they can see into the back of the van. The whole thing's empty. There's plenty of room but if a person saying he only has room for the young girl they don't take that ride but she was so tired she just wanted to get home so she was and he looked like a grandfather. A really yes. He's as big pot. Bellied kinda grizzly old guy. He was like in his a mid sixty s at the time. So she's like what's that guy going to do so she gets in and she's really tired. Been walking and hitchhiking for a long time. So she says i'm. I'm trying to go back home to las vegas. He says i'll give you. I'm going to reno. But i'll give you a ride to los angeles. Which is that that right there. What that doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense way. So she settles in and she falls asleep. Don't do it don't do it. She wakes up and they have gone east and not south when she finally sees a sign there. Somewhere patterson there somewhere out by modesto. They're they're on the other side of the five There's a lot for people not from here those a lot. Especially in the seventy s. There's a lot of no-man's-land. Yes a lot of especially in the central valley which is where he drove out to. It's just all empty. Rural farmland roads little hills with a oak tree on top. There's nothing so she notices that they're going east of freaks out confronts says what the hell are you doing. He says. i'm sorry. i'm an honest man. I made an honest honest mistake. Let me just turn around. He pulls around he turns around. Starts going down the road. He said you have to go to relieve myself. He pulls the vanover. She's getting nervous. She realizes this is now a bad situation. It's it's nighttime. He's down relieving himself and she looks down and realizes one of her shoes untied and she thinks to herself. If i have to run for some reason and i could outrun this old fat guy but if i have to do it her shoes i got shoes. So she gets out of bantu. She bends over to tire show and she blacks out he hit her in the head with a sledge hammer. She wakes up. She's tied up in the back of the van after a sledgehammer hit. She wakes up. She wakes up so he just conquer out yes. She doesn't like thank god. Yeah she's she wants she wakes up. She's tied up and she's naked and he starts raping her. He rapes her all night and into the morning and the whole time. She's of course crunch fifteen years old crying and saying just set me free please. I won't tell anyone just set me free sometime in the morning when these finally done he pulls her out of the van untidier and says you wanna be set free all set you free picks up a hatchet. No out of the back of the van no cuts off her left arm. She screaming below the elbow screaming the out going crazy. She grabs him with her right arm. Going on a freaking out. He takes the hatchet and he starts hacking off her right arm. What those this is. The craziest is as you're telling us. Remind myself that she survived. But it doesn't fucking sound line. I know it's crazy. So she is holding onto him but she falls backwards anyway and that's when she realizes that her right hand has been a right arm has been chopped off so she's all of course in total shock. Confused losing blood looking and this is the most fucked up part of her story. more fucked up the matt. This is it. It peaks fucked up nece right here. Should she sees him like. She can't understand what just happened. And she's looking at him and he is flicking his arm like this. He's flicking his arm out. Yes no she looks and her right. Hand is still holding onto his own. My fucking just got. I gave myself chills. And i know this story because you had your hand in like i did. I did it so she passes out. She like kinda goes limp shar. She's bleeding obviously profusely. Losing blood light laying on the ground so she just goes limp because she just doesn't know what to do this. She's now in the presence of monster he thinks she's dying or dead. Yeah he drags her body over to the railing and throws her over a thirty foot cliff on the way down. She breaks four ribs and he drives away now later on when the police catch him which they all just let you off the hook now. The police police catch him and they put together that the reason he did that is because he thought she'd be dead and he didn't want them to be able to Get fingerprints wha- did they okay. Who found her. How did she get found. I tell you now please. So she's down in this fucking ravine and she's laying there and she's losing blood like crazy and she wants to go to sleep but she said that there's a voice in her head saying you cannot go to sleep. You have to get up. So they can catch this guy so she puts her bloody stumps in the dirt and the and make some mud pack. She stops losing blood. Oh my god on both on both arms and then she starts crawling back up the ravine thirty feet. It takes all night. I'm sorry i'm sorry. That was the morning he dumped her over in the morning. So she crawls back up the ravine it takes all day she finally gets up to top of the ravine and back onto the road at night and then she starts walking naked covered in blood with to stump arms. She walked for three miles. My god the first car that came up with two dudes in a convertible and they saw her now fucking sped away yet yes and she said herself in. This is survived she goes. I look like something out of a horror movie. She's like. I didn't blame them at all because she it was. I mean beyond something you'd see an oromo via and on a on a far away like a deserted road in the middle of the night where there's no this is out where there's no street lights. There's you're like. She said she was walking by. The light of the moon is to. It's like these. Two dudes are married man and they're gay lovers and they're they're like clandestine. You know romance thing. And if they stopped to help her they have to call. The cops are going to get caught together just in my head. That's that's very plus felt like hopefully these aren't monsters these data. I mean here's what i'm sure of. They carry with them to this day. Yesler mansion leaving person and they read the newspaper the next day and they're like look what we did and she could have died. They would've saved her she diet. But here's who did save her who. She walks a little further a couple. Who was on their honeymoon. No no no who took the wrong exit and is driving around trying to get back to the i five. Oh which is close enough so that. Mary heard the noise of the all all day and was like i have to get back up because there will be someone if i walked toward that sound. So that's how she guided herself back toward civilization. These these people grab her put her in the back of the truck and say we're going to get you help. And she said she heard them speeding so fast she could hear the title tires. Screeching they get to a phone. Can i say real quick. Half the people listening that the murdering owes yep dream honeymoon exactly exactly like what are also you can play. Canasta will because imagine you. You're like oh i've married. I love him so much. He's the man for me. Now if the man for you was one of those guys in that convertible who do like we have to get out of here you'd be like you get out of my life forever but they're still together hundred percent. Yeah they get her they get to that payphone they call and they air left her to the hospital. It wasn't even an ambulance situation. There were like straight in so honey. The the relief. She must've fell. Oh my god to be saved so she sorry i'm on the next page already By the way i want to know. You're like fucking telling this. You're not even looking at your notes because this because i remember this happening when i was little only sh i remember my mother being so live it and she would talk about lawrence. Singleton this disgusting piece of shit. She would talk about him all the time. Because i'll get into it. I actually go fence. All this was all these. Were all these details on the news but it was. It was a man who raped a girl. Chapter arms often through into a ditch. That was plenty. Yeah because you can't. That's when it was like. Oh my god that could happen. That's real even the word rape like. You don't even talk about like couples in fucking sitcoms. Didn't sleep in the same bed right. Exactly not from the fifties georgia. My the brady bunch was the i got so she lost over half the blood in her body. How but it from her hospital bed. She described a picture of him so accurately to the police sketch artist. That lorne singleton's next door neighbors saw and immediately called the police even though she was friends with him and like knew him for years she was like that's lawrence singleton. That's my next door neighbor. He's one of us so exactly. So and i do have to say this in the article that i found that it a piece of information from for some reason in the line it said housewife and bowling expert. Wow their life. They really described her to a t. I really want. I want that life. That's pretty good So they arrest losing lawrence singleton. Nine days later. I liked calm. Larry larry And when he was questioned singleton told the police that mary was a ten dollar. Horror that That he was passed out drunk in his van and that his other friend larry is the one that attacked her and there were two other hookers in the van at the time. What a fucking monster lunatic. So she testifies against him in court get a girl with two prosthetic prosthetic limbs on already been fitted for them. She was still a teenager. I mean that's an that is a hard thing to do on. Its own knows this as she walks out after testifying against him. Shit he whispers to her. If it's the last thing i do. I'll finish the job I was hoping she'd safe. Motherfucker like something at him now. No poor girl. She ran out so in march of nineteen seventy-nine a san diego jury convicts. Him of kidnapping mayhem attempted murder forcible rape sodomy and forced oral copulation and gives him the maximum sentence at the time. I guess no go ahead. Sorry i'm keeping erupting no-no seven years. Fourteen years for all of that for all of those crimes combined. Maximum legal sentence was fourteen years. That's like almost how old she was. Yes that's exactly right so The judge who had to pass that sentence said if i had the power i would send him to prison for the rest of his natural life. so along with the particularly gruesome and callous aspects of the crime. The case became totally notorious because he was paroled after serving. Eight years in prison. I just can't okay. So this is when shit went off because that's when it started on the news every night this guy got paroled and it was like my parents tossed about it. He's talked about it in the grocery store it was like. How is this happening. And you know what happened is in one thousand nine hundred eighty three. They passed a incentive law. Kind of quietly passed it so that they could reduce prison overcrowding. Where a day was. Cut off your sentence for each day that the prisoners spent working at the jail. Or you could make pot legal and get a bunch of fucking prisoners out of jail. Except that's exactly what make them. Murderers rapists go. There for fucking ever ryan god's name would you have a work incentive. Law applied to attempted murderer rapists. Well this is back when they were like is probably hurt. She probably asked for it. She was probably a ten dollar whore right. Mother fuckers so They announced that his release date. This is Ed martin who is the associate word of the california. Men's colony in san luis obispo where he was A serving his time His release date. Martin said if there's continued good behavior and work and no change in his programs will be approximately april twenty eighth which was eight years four months of time and every one of the barrier went bananas. So here's what happened. They tried to parole him to antioch and the mayor protests the department of corrections and so acknowledging the public outcry the department of corrections agrees not to release singleton antea so they tried to place some relatives in tampa florida. The people rise up in tampa. Florida and the tampa chapter of the guardian angels which was a big thing in the eighties member. Them yeah They lead these protests and eventually a florida officials reject the proletariat. So they can't go back to tampa now if you're if in what does the hell's angels no the guardian angel at were they. They were this. Oh they were. I thought you meant thousand house. They were basically When in the eighties when crime was crazy it was basically at the end of the Recession when things were kind of shady it was back when new york was a total dump. The guardian angels were this group of basically. Would you call them like Like mothers against drunk driving type of thing. No these were I can't think of the term for it. It was time by the way like was not in any hurry it will. It's just long but nobody. Thanks cocktails with some take your time. Everything's fine no but it was the they were like When you're a citizen that's taking long your own hands. What are those. Call like a Citizen so they basically like we're taking back the streets so they would go. They wore red berets and shirts. That said guardian angels. They all knew karate they all. They're all like muscled out dudes and they would ride the subway at night to that like vigilante there. It is They were. They were total vigilantes and they basically were like their own gang but a positive gang so they just made sure like that. People didn't get attacked on the subway and every city started popping up with their own Group of the guardian angels had Eventually of course they dispersed. Because i think they took things a little too far away as it usually happens yet but anyway they die. They actually did some good stuff in the beginning where people there. There weren't enough cops and there was just a lot of crime. Yeah so so. He has to come back from tampa florida. Which is where his family was. Tampa was like go. Fuck yourself and you know florida's kicking out you're probably a big pretty big piece of shit So then he Where to go so then. They try to release him in martinez california and the and which is also in contra costa county so the contra contra costa county board of supervisors and four city council members win a temporary restraining order from superior court judge barring the department of corrections for placing singleton anywhere in contra costa county so quick bringing up motherfucker back here. He's not allowed in can happen so So now they tried to place them in san francisco but police chief police chief frank jordan. At the time. He's told that that they're going to bring singleton to san francisco for a couple of weeks and san francisco Wins temporary restraining. Order barring him from san francisco so then they take him to redwood city secretly but reporters find out that he's there in a hotel and protesters around the hotel and the department of corrections has to pull him out of this hotel And get him out before the protesters rip him apart. What a bummer. To be one of those cops. And i fucking hate this. You don't want to protect them. He's the shit so now A quarter appeals overturned that restraining order saying that contra costa county and san francisco couldn't have him there so then they tried to place him in el cerrito but which is not in contra costa county. That's a little bit further north. I think. But the contra costa county officials find out that they're going to try to place them in el cerrito and they tell the el cerrito they told the press and el cerrito so then protests begin there so basically now. Everyone's telling everybody they're trying to place this piece of shit in the north bay and everybody so then. They tried to put him in richmond but the mayor finds out and the officials are like fuck. No get him outta here Then they tried to bring him to a city called rodeo. Which i've never even heard of Doesn't even exist but people find out and a mob of five hundred people gathered around this apartment and They actually have to take him out in a bulletproof vest and he's escorted out of town by the sheriff's department. So it was. This is kind of thing. We're yes this is the kind of the worst story ever but also the greatest story ever were like just the citizens were like no dude like maybe that maybe legislature says what that you can get out of jail. But when say no so. They moved to conquer one hundred and seventy five people. Gather at the hotel where they're keeping him there. Finally the governor says put a trailer on the grounds of san quentin and he can live there until those parole is over. Love at jerry brown George duke major So that's what he has to do is to live on the grounds of san quentin until his one year. Parole is up. then he's free to go wherever you want and they don't even they're not even a track then there's nothing they can do because nothing's in the system about him so he goes back to florida and when he gets there they find out that he's there people protest a car dealer offered him five thousand dollars to leave. The state and homemade bomb was detonated near The house that he was staying in even but no one was injured. Unfortunately in one thousand nine hundred seven a neighbor calls the police. After seeing laurence singleton attacking a woman in his home and when the police arrive they find the body of thirty one year. Old mother of three. Roxanne hines she's also a sex worker. But i wanted to say the mother of three part first so that people care so that they know that she was so hard up for money. That financial problems made it so that she had to do this. And then She got stabbed twelve times in the face and chest by this piece of shit and when he answered the door he answered the door to the cops with his shirt open and blood. Oliver's chess they. How many cold cases are can be attributed to him like so. There's no way that it was one in seventy eight well. They say that the reason that he got parole the way early like that was because he didn't have he didn't have Priors up yeah. He didn't have which is not to say he didn't do it but he didn't. He didn't have a record. Still i think cutting off girls arms and leaving our that is like worse than your prior for like eight assault or whatever. And i think you're right. It's not that's not a first crime now at all especially when you're sixty you know like you're starting you know. Yeah no way. So mary vincent goes to tampa to appear at his sentencing and tells her whole fucking story. She describes her whole attack. The whole the toll that the ordeal has taken on her whole life. Because of course it's been you know t a terror. Yeah and she's she's gotten her life together a little bit but of course she just lives in constant fear. Sure when she was when he was paroled like she was doing fine and going to art school in the pacific northwest then he got paroled and she fell apart. He said to her as she left the courtroom gonna finish this if it takes the rest of my life. I'll finish the job like yeah. Wasn't that considered when he's when they think he's going up for parole so she's The jury deliberated for one hour and he was sentenced to death because good old florida. Good so unfortunately. He died of cancer in the prison. Hospital instead of being Fried riveria very vicious and this really ours and this one but his apparently what he said in When he was sentenced he said he did. He denied mutilating mary. Vincent he denied it not killing her just mutilating no no mary. Vincent is the girl whose arms he chopped off. He denies doing that. But he said about the stabbing of hayes. I'm sorry about the death. In this case i'll have to carry it on my conscience the rest of my life the death and the narcissistic move right. This is sad for me. The diane downs move So just to wrap it. Mary vincent did win a two point. Five six million dollars civil judgment against singleton but she couldn't collect because he was unemployed in poor health and only had two hundred dollars in saving course not so. She did eventually get married. She moved to orange county She has two sons and she started the mary vincent foundation to help victims of traumatic crime. Love sweetie yeah poor girl. Isn't it crazy that like she would have been better off stealing. A car. Getting a misdemeanor. Then then hitchhiking. You can't trust old men that look like grandfathers and here's another thing. I was thinking about like when he she had a bad feeling. He stopped to p and get out of the car. The thing about that is like if you have a bad feeling. Do what you need to do and apologize for later like steal the car and drive the fuck off apologized later if it turns out he wasn't gonna kill you rate. Trust your gut if blow some guy off at a bar. Because he's giving me the creeps. But you don't wanna be rude. Blow him off and apologize later for turns out that he wasn't a creek because if he's not a creep it won't be a problem later that's intense. I know it's crazy. And if you wanna see it you can you can watch on. I survived mary. Vincent tell that story yourself. I might have to start watching that. The thing is about true crime. Chances that i really don't like Reenactments there's no reenactment. Oh okay it's the people telling their story and they do they start the segment with a picture where actually happened. Yeah and it's all straight to camera storytelling. Okay it's pretty brilliantly produced. that's i like. It did actually do that. Yeah who the i know. That was a big one. Yeah it's all take a collective breath. Anyone needs to use the bathroom. Go use it now. Karen always one of my favorites. That i remember hearing that and i had never heard that story before and i was just below. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. It's is an emotional ride. Hearing that story and that the that the story is about the survivor that the story these stories. I think this is one i. I started learning being taught by our audience. How these stories are actually about the survivors or about the victims of the victims families. Yeah mine's a little different. This is from episode one zero five which happened in january of two thousand eighteen. So we were in the pod loft by then right and like yeah that was that was fun and the episode and the episode was called proclaimed city which still one of the best words i've ever made up in my shirt. I mean you've made up some real doozies. But that one's pretty great i stand by that one And so this is the story of typhoid. Mary which is just so bananas and so wild and just you know you can't believe it happened and then you watch the drunk history. That came out later that we can betsy cetera playing typhoid mary. She comic actors was so funny so funny enjoy typhoid mary. Everyone and oh. My god turns out a global daily who just happened two years later. Who knew all right my murder. Okay so you know. I'm obsessed with infectious diseases and plagues and flu epidemics. I love all this shit right insured. That's my passion. Illness like end of days. Shit great level stuff Okay and right now the flu right now. In mid january twenty eighteen the flu is already an epidemic yet this year which is fine. I just got sean good. I think it's a irritated. And i'm going to die but anyways well at least you won't have the flu guy exactly so on that now. 'cause it's so fun i thought i would. Do you know our good friend typhoid mary. Nice here we saw in the summer of nineteen six on long island's voiced bay. We've been there. I haven't. I think they take one of those little trains. Jitney a jitney together. they're right. I don t know six digit need to. They have cars made of straw. Maybe a horse took me so long. Island's oyster bay is the townie playground of new york's rich and famous teddy roosevelt. None other than hatice house there. Oh fucking rich. People sure And everyone freaks out when in a span of just one week. Six of the eleven people in the home of wealthy banker off. He's the banker the vanderbilt even boo charles. Warren's household comes down with typhoid fever while are there on vacation typhoid is a bacterial infection. Let me tell you about it. Okay due to salmonella typhi and it's viewed back then is a disease of the crowded slums and tenements which we love to talk about. Yes in new york. It's associated with poverty. Lack of basic sanitation immigrants assumed to live in disease ridden crowded. Housing are scapegoats of typhoid. So whenever rich fucking family gets its bananas. Typhoid is one of the twentieth century's most terrifying killers because an infection could spread through a house before anyone knew what was going on the first week. The infection seems almost like just regular flu. Then there's the fever. Some abdominal cramping. But nothing. Really crazy to show that it's typhoid then. During the second week fever goes crazy. The patient becomes delirious. Blood clots form under the skin. The entire becomes distended. Ooh the third week inflammation of the fucking brain and intestinal hemorrhaging intestinal hemorrhaging and the death. Rate of those infected is between one in ten and three and ten so it's really easily spread spread by eating or drinking food or water contaminated with the feces of infected persons Think about that in the nineteen hundred early nineteen hundreds and you know when they didn't like wash their hands and stuff like water wasn't cleaned and albin like houses and stuff that we're all you know. Yeah would that. I mean that was back still when people get up and just pee in a bowl under the bed right right just like slosh it back under. Probably throw it out the window. Where is that when they threw stuff out the window or the baby out with the probably. I bet i bet they did say yes. I like the idea that people would do it enrich houses. So that's the thing okay. Like they didn't so it was really weird that this typhoid wasn't outbreak in a rich house. So people were that's why on survey they were like this is a fucking. Something's wrong Not here not my family not in my backyard right not in the tony playground of the rich and famous. Hell no no bubba in one thousand nine hundred killed thirty five thousand americans. There's no cure. Antibiotics didn't exist in a vaccine was not yet available. Horrify so scary so the charles. Warren's landlord was freaking out that the family outbreak would prevent him from leasing his summer house again he thought they were burned to the fucking ground typhoid. So he's like fuck this shit. He hires freelance sanitary engineer. George soper freelance sanitary engineer. Dr george sofa okay. You sound fun at parties. You sound like you have a made up job. he call the janitor. No don't he's he. Investigates sources of typhoid fever outbreaks to determine the cause. Like he's the dude who doctor house dot. He's fucking house. he's like come over to my house. You're out what happened here okay. Mcguire ruined sick. He's the dude who figures it out like what was his name again. George soper dr george soper. and so. he's like he's like what's his name. Detective columbo local can you. You can leave that part. He's like the colombo sherlock com diseases. Okay okay. I was gonna say diarrhea diet. We don't use that word to use that word so so we're tests everything. He's like super excited about kristof. Apparently he tests the house plumbing local shellfish company. Everything comes up negative for typhoid. But then he looks into the cook who had worked for the warren's weeks before the outbreak and discovered that a female irish cook who fit the description of a cook who had worked in other households were hard had broke up. broke out. No broken down. Pass That she had worked there right. Before everyone fell ill of typhoid And had also just cooked for the warren's so i don't know why you'd hire a irish cook we can't sucking it. Parallel rose red potatoes. That back then. They liked the simplicity of it all. Oh man such a bummer. I mean iraq amazing to me. That's all i want is padras in red potatoes. You seri- with some horseradish. Yeah at about jello. With fruit cocktail floating inside of it fruit cocktail. Yes yep and then of course my grandma special what she got on it thousand island draft hard stop. That's an iceberg lettuce now. that's irish cooked. Do you know what i want. I want iceberg lettuce with thousand island. And i want jello with fruit cocktail. Don't want them to meet each other. Well sorry my grandma says you have to and that's my job to make it happen. Then you have to finish it you do. I mean barrena to me. That's our society. Eat spinach as tiny babies and very few of us have ever broken a bone spinach. But you fucking twist rangel downtime rollet but it don't break grandma okay grandma but he was okay so we can't find her because she left the after every outbreak. Brandt the end. She fucking lakers out of their address. So paper learns of an active outbreak in a penthouse on park avenue to the household servants were hospitalized and the young daughter of the family had died of typhoid now and he discovers sober discovers that the family cook was the same woman who had cooked for the other families. It's forty year old irish immigrants. Mary mallon marry wash. Your hands merry go. Oh marry what did she say and she says i just need to start of the sup- with my hands. Quick kantha this whole story. We need it okay. So i start stocking. Mary mallon and hells her and he tells her. She's transmitting disease in death by her job but he sounds very bad at like telling people think it's an explaining in calm like self possessed manner to an irish emigrant probably because he had some prejudices against irish people so do you think he was like too nervous to tell her he was like screaming. He was screaming in her face. This thing of transmitting disease and death. And she's this like irish is what are you talking about. So he didn't explain to her how she as a woman who was perfectly healthy could be infecting others with typhoid. He attempted to get and then and then. He goes on to attempt to get samples of mary's feces. Urine and blood. I think just by yelling in her face need samples feces urine and blood. Mary and joseph man get away from me not surprisingly this just pissed mary off and one time. She chased him away with a large kitchen for when he tried to come out of here. That's my irish. Get outta here. Get the kitchen. You always up to start way. High down really low okay. Since mary refused to give samples he decided to compile a five year history of her employment. He found that of the eight families that had hired mary. Mallon as a cook members of seven of those families claim to have contracted typhoid fever. Even though mary had never shown signs of the ailment and with this soper becomes the first author to describe a healthy carrier of salmonella typhi in the united states so the person who can carry it. Never get ill by it but pass it on to other people. She's in basically immune to this thing she has but she hasn't ms giving it's everybody and and part of her argument is like well. I'm fucking fine. It can't be meeting. it's anyone right so also let me use my whole arm as stirring icebound. Just wanna start this fucking steel. I just wanna touch the bottom of the pan right with my fingernail. I put this under my fingernails and put it into the still. What's the big deal. The problem my fingernail ladle without washing my hands okay. Let me tell you about mary. Mary mallon is born in september of eighteen. Sixty nine in cook county. Cookson county Cookson what's a small village in the north of ireland that was among one of ireland's poorest areas. She emigrated to the united states in eighteen. Eighty three at age fifteen Her aunt and uncle who should have been living with died so she was living in squalor swallowed housing in the lower east side. Fending for herself. She found work as a domestic servant and apparently her proclivity in the kitchen. Let her to be a cook so she was somehow lead in the kitchen. I don't i copied and pasted. Are that. I never use proclivity propensity quantity. That's the word. I don't think ship on i refuse to no no. No no no no. That sounded so good. And i was kind of is like a combination of propensity and declenchee. Oh but. I'm almost positive. When you're your search. Clinton said he did not match any. Its search. her propensity is that right. I've never copying pasting from wikipedia again the rod. So it's not there's no it's propensity the correction the correct. Maybe they the the record is propensity. Fuck all right. I'm not that out because this is who i am. I second show. Sometimes we get words wrong. It's okay my pro-clinton the kitchen. It sounds like per clinton sounds like a like for men who are losing their hair. Shampoo take meant pro-clinton every night. Okay in one thousand nine hundred. She worked in moronic. New york heard of it. Where within two weeks of her employment residents developed typhoid fever in nineteen ninety one she moved to manhattan or members of the family whom she worked for developed fevers and diarrhea. That's a bummer. To happen same time. Yeah that's horrible. You don't know what's happening and you have diarrhea right. She's a laundromat died their owner's name. They don't mention anywhere which is like listen. She someone to. That's right. And then mary mallon goes on to work for a lawyer. She left after seven of the eight people in that household became ill she fucking laters. Is you keep leaving though. I don't know he thinks she's so innocent. Well it's so it's hard to tell because it's like did she leave because everyone got sick and so the house stood still and they didn't need anyone or what did she need help the most. It's true chicken soup doesn't cook itself stairs into okay. Chicken soup can't stir itself without an arm and it can't walk upstairs so Okay so then in one thousand nine six. She goes to a survey and within two weeks. Ten of the family members are hospitalized with typhoid changes. Job again. Same thing happens cooks for the warren. Same thing happens bobby blah okay. Doctors theorized that mary mellon likely past typhoid germs by failing to scrub her hands before handling food usually elevated elevated temperatures cooking food would have killed all the germs and bacteria and shit but then they found out that mary mallon's like most popular dish specialty or speciality. Was ice cream that she cut up rob peaches into and froze so nothing had gotten cooked. Oh you imagine wet fucking peaches with her little like cutting knife an all the nail under her nails as she's cutting peaches she's also cutting a little bit of her finger along with. She had a real per quantity for cutting up her own. Flesh and can't believe that okay. The near health new york city health department finally may try to get her to chill the fuck out and she won't finally they possess you won't she's like fuck. You must cook like an angry. An angry woman. She fight for her like her life livelihood. Nobody it reminds so i started watching alias. Grace which you had talked about liking reminds me of like sh came over on a ship in that fucking in that nature of absolute bullshit. She's like fuck you. I'm working to like live my own life. I mean it's those the ship journey alone so upsetting. Most people coming to this country. Traumatizing just horrifying. And then they show up. And then it's like hope you have a job. Yeah good luck with a also. You don't wash your hands enough x ray you're talking about you know what that reminds me of real quick. Yeah when i lived in scotland there was a commercial that was on. uk tv and it was. Are you a washer or a walker and it was just a ca- was pretend camera hidden camera in a bathroom issue. People walked up check their face and walked away or wash their hands and since that commercial i think before that i was very like who cares one way or the other. I know if. I need to wash my hair since i commercial. I wash my hands every single time. You just can't trust doorknobs if you just can't trust door handles. You just should wash your hands as much as possible. And i do and you don't go out of your fucking mind i do but like do your best. Don't be a walker to say my dad. Every he won't sit down at. We'll go to lunch anywhere. He had just gone out of his car in touch anything he won't. He's kinda has though but he'll go wash his hands before like every time you can't even start talking to him only if that's his parents. Were really strict about that like before eating. Yeah maybe it's a good idea every once in a while i'll look at my hands especially on sorry cheap gene now. There's nothing worse than have dirty hands as an adult at a meal players. Putting a food thing into your mouth and being like when's the last time i wash my hands. That's my fucking thing and then you this so many times you can go well. I'm strengthening my immune system. Most of the time. You're not you're just putting someone else's fuck and urine hands e in your fucking mouth. I mean okay. So new york's sends in physician sara josephine baker to talk to mary so the singer. Yup right the amazing night. She was sitting. Yeah hey that's not good. Baker said that by the time she was she said quote by that time she was convinced that the law was only persecuting her when she had done nothing wrong so mary was like hardcore. Fuck you. we're like yet bakers. So this chick. Sara josephine baker. Her own father and brother had died of typhoid when she was young and so she had felt pressure to support her mother and sister financial at six years old. She decided on a career in medicine. And this and this is early. Nineteen hundreds late eighteen hundred. This chase asks motherfucker and fuck and study her excetera for traumatised reasons. She's awesome. She goes to find mary mallon and with her help. The new york city health department takes mary into custody in one thousand. Nine hundred seven and places or into forced confinement inside a bungalow on sixteen acre brother island off the bronx shore. So if you live in manhattan urban been in manhattan you see fucking island over there playing off the shore that you can like see alcatraz in san francisco right. So all the only companionship. She hasn't tell me if this doesn't sound amazing. She's in confinement. All she has is a fox terrier like living a lie. Please wait. i think i'm in. That can find that right now. He puts herself marry melons. Fucking couldn't find. We're all all irish. Women are doomed to live the life of mary. mallon it just repeats itself famine. Okay so it's so they on. This brother island was the riverside hospital. Which is where she's at. Its founded in eighteen fifties as a smallpox hospital to treat and isolate victims of that disease. So fuck and put them on this tiny island outside of manhattan. You can see manhattan. And you're like i want that and i know you're sick too bad. eventually expands to other corned. Hannibal diseases like leprosy venereal diseases. So they disliked later people onto that island. Did they really. Yeah so you get you get some Scenario disease yup to stay here until you're in the same room with all the other people venereal diseases sounds like a party. I mean those. Are the people that party. A lot of great personalities in that room. I bet i am sure. Okay with her forced confinement. Mary mallon everyone. The media goes fucking nuts because this woman has been spreading the disease and killing people with so media goes nuts eventually in nine hundred eight. In the journal of american medical association she is nicknamed typhoid mary. She gets her name so the professionals really came into shit. they were doing top notch. Journalists cutoff so so turns out. Marymount is a commune to the disease. Herself she's the first person in the united states identified as an asymmetric carrier of the pathogen. Just pretty fucking cool Well custody mary mallon typhoid mary. Let's scholar admits to poor hygiene. She's on yeah. What other motherfucker and irish. I can just say who cares. Jesus mary joseph. There's other things to worry about exactly people starving in my country. She said she didn't understand the purpose of handwashing. She did not pose a risk girl. You're the cook the cook you pose a risk. It doesn't matter how healthy you are. They authorities are like. Let's get rid of your gallbladder because that's where they believe the typhoid bacteria resided and she was like fuck fuck you. I don't even have the disease. And she was willing to cease working as a cook too. So we'll let you go just don't work as a cook and she was like nope. I wash my hands. Go fight fight. Fight fight fight where so angry. It doesn't make sense. Irishwomen irishwomen fight herkie. She is forced to give a hundred and sixty three samples of various bodily substances to the doctors. They're hundred and twenty of which tested positive for the bacteria. She was teeming with this disease. Hit the to the health ills. So mary stays there for three years until test results from a private laboratory came up negative for typhoid and with this information and actually nine. Mary sues the health department for her freedom. But everyone's like she get the money to sue the health department and then and then it's like a secret thing that maybe william randolph. Hearst was like giving the money if you give me like an interview so like he was like springing people so smart but the new york supreme court so go fuck yourself no but then in nineteen ten. There's a new health commissioner. He lets her go if she promises never to work as a cook again and she's like okay great. She's like fine. I didn't like that much anyway. So in february of nineteen ten Mary agreed that she was quote prepared to change her occupation and would give assurance by affidavit that she would upon her release. Take such hygienic precautions. As would protect those with whom she came in contact from infection meaningless. Your fucking hands. I wash my finance. No i just. I felt like i wanted to defend. But there's they it's an indefensible. Go ahead eat people. Don't think some people think what that her being locked up is indefensible. No she killed a ton of people because she refused to what she it's like she wouldn't give in anything where it's like okay. Well if you're the cook you have to admit handwashing is kind of key. I realize it was. That was kind of a new idea back then still well the thing is she thought they were all to get her all this shit like decades later. They're like well if she had typhoid her whole life. Maybe it fucked her brain a little bit and she was paranoid and crazy. Ooh yeah but wait. It gets worse. Okay okay so they let her out lose track of her goodbye. That idea cut to five years later. In nineteen fifteen a typhoid outbreak. Happens at manhattan sloane. Maternity hospital struck twenty five workers and killed two of those workers when soper our friend. George sobers back. He looks at the outbreak. And he's like oh. This looks fucking familiar. No races it back to the cook. Who's an irish woman named. Mary brown this time her name. I she found a good man nope she changed her name so she could become a cook like she was doing it now. Now she's responsible for she's being a. Did you know what i mean. Yeah now it's criminal. I think it's marymount blah blah. Turns out she changed her name and during her release she had cooked in hotels restaurants and institutions. She'd gone they'd given our job as a laundry. You make no fucking money. It's really hard work doesn't smell good doesn't smell good. She was like fuck the shit and went to cook wherever she worked there were outbreaks of typhoid however. She changed shop so frequently. So she had alluded the blame. She's captured and again can find north brother island where she continued to refuse to acknowledge that she had any connection between herself in the tightwad case. In point it's so stacked up against her that she might as well just do that because she's so guilty that the second she breaks it's over. Yeah exactly so. After the second the second apprehension she spends the next twenty three years of her life as a prisoner enforced isolation hundreds if not thousands of as symptomatic carriers who had been identified were allowed to walk the streets of new york freely typhoid. Mary lived alone in exile parties. You because the public were fucking pissed her because she wouldn't stay out of the kitchen like she had just not gone back to cooking. Yes that second time around. Exactly she. I mean i. It's sad that she lived in isolation but you. Why are you being so stubborn. Comedown karen having been using my face just starts to fall apart. I don't wanna do it. It does irk me your typhoid tears running out through ebay so bad but bubba saying that the kitchen and on november eleven nineteen thirty eight mary mellon dies min ammonia at age sixty nine still in captivity an autopsy found evidence of life talk twice toyed typhoid bacteria and her gallbladder so she rate her bodies cremated ashes were buried at saint. Raymond's cemetery in the bronx. So mary mallon thought that she infected fifty-one people. In three of those illnesses Resulted in death. And that's based on George lopez you know looking into it but she she uses so many aliases that it's thought that she the true death toll could have been way fuck in higher some estimates that she fifty tallies which i just saw that a random articles so i don't know if that's true. Historians say she contaminated at least one hundred twenty two people and killed five. Which sounds a little more likely so crazy so throughout the twentieth century typhoid fever steadily declines doodoo introduction and vaccinations and improvements in public sanitation and hygiene aka. Washer fucking hands today. Typhoid fever is considered a rare condition. Among developed countries raid is approximately five cases per million per year astra brother island and riverside hospital real quick. This fucking island of disease manhattan sounds. Amazing sounds amazing. Island has been abandoned since nineteen sixty three. After it was detention it was last detention facility for juvenile drug offenders in nine hundred and sixty three. How badly do you wish you could go. And just sit on the wall and like sarah people there you know. There are some black light posters in that building. Another some people out there who have stories like there were like your because my mom working in the mental she worked at a hospital cuddling reporter in san francisco. It's up on the hill. And and people in the sixties you send their kids. They got caught smoking pot one time now. They sent their kids to the mental channels. So she said there were in. Its in the like mental late sixties. All these kids there was like an influx of kids are like. They're incorrigible and their drug addicts. They only like one joint or cyber. We're saying not thing exactly and your house with people who are legitimately in need of mental mental. Hell hell issues. And i'm sure those kids were like well. I'm never doing anything bad again. Yes the shit that they saw. Yeah or they were like. I don't know. I said it was really sad and bummed her out a lot. It's clearly complicated. Yeah so these kids got sent there in nineteen sixty three closed. It's now uninhabited. And designated as a bird sanctuary way illegal for anyone to go on the island without permission from the city all the buildings though still bucking stand. Little and these photographers sometimes. Go on there and take photos and you can see a bunch of the photos. We put them up on instagram of these gorgeous like brick buildings that are falling into disrepair. And you can see the rooms. Where mary mallon was fucking house and use a little typhoid wing. And you can see the fucking crematorium and it's like it's insanely gorgeous. I am asking any murdering. Know who works for the city of manhattan. Please let me and care him. Come island come and get a disease of our own or ourselves since it's like under under watching you. It's really hard to get on there. Everything is still there. So like people haven't graffitied and people haven't stolen ship from the island. That's amazing that you need to see the photos it. Everything is covered in wildlife. It's more just it's amazing. Sounds like the island. They threatened to send that they promised to send doctor lector to the lambs. It ends up to be that he pixies when she recites that thing. You are allowed to walk on the beach every day. Whatever i want to read that saw good student again be allowed one. You will be allowed one walk one day a year. We'll you can walk freely on the rate with armed guards or cyprus. I don't know speak either. I know my friend my friend. Amy who you met. When we were in wisconsin she she has sounds lambs memorized. I've watched it with her and she'll say the line real quick before it's my favorite thing the world you will be allowed to walk. She'd be able to do that right off. The great off the dose. He's dumbs okay. It's illegal blah blah blah. But you can still see them. The building the room we're typhoid. Mary spent the last twenty three years of her life. She doing their old man. she was bombed. But it sounds just like there's varying accounts where it's like some say she was like actually helping out there and like made some say that she was just like insects and they abandoned her and used her as luca typhoid mary. You know when people would come to the island. Yeah that kind of thing so you don't really know. I hope there was a fox terrier. So yeah and then i also want to mention. There's a podcast. If you're into this shit like i am. There's a podcast. That's kind of new. It's hosted by to these two young ladies who are grad students in disease ecology. Ooh this podcast will kill you and it's just about infectious diseases from history and is that and these. These two girls are both named erin are like it's just an awesome podcast. Yeah so this does will kill you. Love it. I like to imagine that typhoid. Mary sat in seclusion and in her room on that island and fantasize of all the different things. She'd like to put her hand in like she like corn chowder or whatever and then like mashed potatoes and then our fantasies just like both bear arms. Go all the way and like she cleans her fingernails in the chowder. Yes i wonder if she requested like cooking magazines and read recipes. That was like stick. Stick your arm completely end to be like this looks. Good the you know. It needs my arm my arm mice fingernail clippings and just not funny people to disgusting. It's terrible that amazing. It's incredible also the idea. This did you watch the neck when it was on. Yeah there's an episode involving her. I watched the look the little Scene where they and the where they confront her. Yeah it's that was such a good show. And they did that schmaltz. She was great but they did that. Where they would take those things out of history and be like yes. What we're you don't have any sense like things before modern medicine modern stuff. It's just the weirdest idea it'd be like somebody come in and they'd be like well. We tried to stick a tube in their arm and then they died the end or it's just it was so crazy. Precarious is such a great show. I love that. Yeah if you're into that kind of thing you should definitely watch it. It was great. Also if you've ever taken cocaine to the point where it was a problem for you. I warn schrager warning huge cocaine your warning for the nick to be a doctor new coq all the time. I know maybe you're in opium dens to trigger warning. You love delay. Back with a bunch of people dressed in traditional chinese garcia This'll be hard breeding through. It's gonna make you nut but if you love surgery without gloves or anesthesia. Show pre show or clive owen right. That was great. Thank you that was fun. I love to learn. I love. I love i love saying hordes wrong. I loved i love to learn. i love to lie. I love to make up new words. I love to just have fun with this shit and you know. Don't have any ma proclivity for caring. I mean i have a real clinton aide to just say what i want and i think we all do freedom in that we have. And this time. There's a freedom it's so the funniest thing about typhoid. Mary is she she wrote. Problem with book-length scuds leanness love it. It was a fucking valiant effort. I tried but you could see me udi making that you turn away made that attempt two years ago before this podcast absolutely no not at all so i real bias against puns. As you know. It's i applaud you and no. I think it's the fact that we're that you have on my life. I'm i'm making you stupider. You're breaking down those con- wall. I am super during you. You know real hard. Yep well great job twenty-eight georgia thank you thank you Twenty twenty karen. I remember hearing that in back. Then and being. So shaw like the details of that story are so much more ridiculous than you even think are. It's kind of insane The just the story line of that of her and that just spread this one her. It's one person's fucking refusal to see reality and yeah us all to fucking take responsibility for themselves that kills people and like changes the course of history because they won't just simply wash await what wha- sorry what are we talking about anymore. Jesus are actually wrap it up with some fucking her as student and then also make sure to stay tuned for the tenfold more wicked preview after the fucking her as this first one is from precious gore grind. And it says my fucking ray. Is that after. I lost my job and insurance due to covid. I was not to quietly freaking out. I'm a type one diabetic and was very close to running. Out of the to insulin's. I take daily because it would have cost me literally thousands out of pocket. I decided to ask the world of facebook and instagram. If anyone had any to spare a sweet baby angel came to the rescue and was able to provide me with enough insulin to last several months. I can't say thank you enough to that kind stranger for helping me. Quite literally stay alive. That's incredible iwashita full. Her world wasn't our country. Wasn't like that but it's incredible like we need a healthcare. Seems everybody everyone deserves it. I think everyone does deserve it. And this is from instruments from katy b click. My fucking rate is that after hurricane zita through a tree on top of our house totaling our car and barely missing our little girls bedroom window. Our neighbors and friends fully restored faith in humanity. A neighbor we hardly know found us huddled in the basement and drove us out to grab breakfast. Murdering live from across the country sent us a door dash gift card and another sentence groceries through instacart neighbors have offered their cars and helping hands and even though a tree falling on our home is totally on brand for twenty twenty. I am so damn thankful for the people holding hands metaphorically anyway and helping one another through it dan. Youthful fucking run. Love better love it. I know it's it's really nice to hear those stories. Yeah and to feel that kind of like when people are given an opportunity they will help other people out. I think it's an important. It's an important story line. That doesn't make anybody any money to talk about these days but it should happen much more Okay this one's from bethany dot is dot killing dot it. My fucking ray is actually a follow up earlier. This year i sent in a fucking her a of. I don't know if we read the otherwise. I love love. don't worry about it. i'll do both now earlier this year. I sent in a fucking hurry about how i had been selected to become a naval officer. Will just last week. I graduated from officer candidate school. I am now the first officer ever in my family's long history of serving in the military. I've also had many sailors from throughout my tenure. Enlisted career reach out and express their excitement. I hope to use my influence to help my sailors and like i said months back this one. I think we did ok. Well here's the update great. I hope i can continue. Continue to show all of my sailors that a woman can kill it in this career. Auditions bethany way to go kicking ass way to go. And thank you service. Yes yes okay. This one is from. Lisa horton seventy six. I have a bittersweet foster care fucking. Hooray for you. Mostly sweet my husband daughter. And i got to be a foster family for the best baby ever and during the fourteen months we had him. His dad was able to make some huge life changes including getting sober and get to a place where he was able to care for his son again so we recently had to say goodbye to our boy which was so hard but also so sweet and inspiring to see this man who has had a very hard life completely turned his life around for his son. We are still very close and he faced bedtime every night. So we can tell our boy we love him. It's a major success story. Even though we didn't get to keep our favorite boy forever. Fucking her a gotta be part of such a beautiful process if anyone out there has ever considered being a foster parent. Now is the perfect time. Isn't that beautiful. Yes that's lovely. I can't i what an amazing. What an amazing thing to do I guess i just have one. I mean one thing to say and it's just On halloween this year my very good friend patty riley died of cancer and you guys might know her because she is my roommate from college. My friend from high school. I've told tons of stories about her on this show and she was battling cancer for a while And it seemed like she was going to be okay and she just took a very sudden turn. And i guess i just want to say first of all. I haven't really processed it in any real way because it happened really fast. But i know a lot of stuff is going on in the world right now and everybody is stressed and freaked out and there's tons of anxiety and whatever But you are alive. And you're lucky and patty was the kind of person who made sure every day that she impacted the people around her whether it was her her two boys her family her good friends which he had tons of she she really really cared about being a good person. Also one of the funniest people i've ever known but she her whole goal in life was to just always really be carrying toward other people so as much as her death feels like just a complete injustice and in it's such an intense loss The way she lived was such an amazing example of how you can be and it's It's something that's impressed me and has always inspired me so i just wanted to say that Will miss you patty It's your death is a huge huge loss to so many people. Thank you karen. That's beautiful. i'm i'm i'm so sorry for her family and for you and the world and doesn't get to know her. Thanks yeah i mean you know everybody's dealing with so much stuff right now. It just feels like then on top of that one regular tragic life events happen. It's just like it's just. It can be so overwhelming. But i think it's important that everybody just kind of you know is grateful That's what i'm trying to do. I guess is what i should be saying. Yeah is. I'm trying to focus on the positive. I'm trying to be grateful for what i have. Which is so so much and Trying to you know. I don't know be a better person. I think we all are in. It's it's noble in and of itself. Definitely yeah yeah to patty patty well. Thanks for listening you guys. Thanks for being here. We hope we hope and we hope you hope to have so much despite it all just a hope. There is and with that. Stay sexy and don't get murdered. Go by all this. Do you want to cook. Let me tell you the story in upstate new york. There's this little village called dryden. And for centuries the people who have welcomed strangers into their churches and into their homes used to be one of those places where everyone in town was invited to a wedding so it was a really close really trusting community in eighteen forty to a stranger arrived. He was a handsome charming brilliant scholar named edward rule off. He found work with a local farming family. A very prominent family their home was always open to anybody that needed a place to stay or passersby. You know they were just kind of people but something about. Edward roloff was just troubling. He was arrogant. He was nine and he was sometimes really cruel and he was absolutely obsessed with his own academic research. Seems like what you would call an incredible dr cysts. He's very hostile to people. Don't appreciate his own genius. He seduced to the families teenage daughter and from the very beginning their relationship was unstable. Their fights were vicious and then they were deadly. There's a story about him taking her away and her turning around and waving and that's the last memory like her mother and some of them had of her. It was a terrible tragedy in. It's not that we hadn't had murders here but not a murder like that. And we're rule off killed at least five more people over the next twenty five years now. This is the beginning of time when railroads make it possible to move around. It was not particularly uncommon for people to carry on double lives people fall for the snake oil salesman. They actually enjoy the snake oil salesman. He had everybody for for a long time. A sort of like a ted bundy. He's confusing to me. And he was the boogeyman. He's not confusing to me. He's a psychopath. When rule off was caught it seems like he would finally be punished. But that's not what happened. Scholars and scientists jump to his defense rule off claims that he had made this groundbreaking discoveries in the field of linguistics and a lot of people believed him. They argued that his mind was just too valuable to waste on a gallows. Yes there was a kind of a magical key to understanding these languages and that would have made a lot of people's lives a lot easier would his brain really save his life are there some ideas so astounding some minds so brilliant that they should allow a killer to get away with murder. People really think that the brain can justify behave and this is totally mistaken. Every rule lost brutal crimes and his incredible brain would make history by marking the birth of modern neuroscience. This was just a a world changing difference in how we think about brains there with understanding evolution. I'm kate winkler dawson and this is tenfold more wicked a podcast about the most intelligent killer in american history. Tenfold more wicked premiers on monday november. Twenty third on exactly right. Subscribe now on stitcher apple podcasts. Or wherever you like to listen.