3 Burst results for "Damon Malarde"

"damon malarde" Discussed on Casual Swinger

Casual Swinger

02:50 min | 7 months ago

"damon malarde" Discussed on Casual Swinger

"But that <Speech_Male> didn't stop you. It <Speech_Male> did not <Speech_Male> stop me how. <Speech_Male> `Bout you Damon. Have <Speech_Male> you done it in a bathroom? <Speech_Male> Of course have done <Speech_Male> it in a bathroom. <Speech_Male> That's where the cocaine <Speech_Music_Male> is <Speech_Music_Male> <Speech_Music_Male> <Speech_Music_Male> <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Music_Male> a <Speech_Female> <Speech_Male> new. <Speech_Male> That's why <Speech_Male> everybody ends out <Speech_Male> there. <Speech_Male> <SpeakerChange> Shit. <Speech_Male> It's about <Speech_Male> time that <Speech_Male> I win at something. <Speech_Male> 'cause I just <Speech_Male> keep getting my ass kicked <Speech_Male> by Mallory and everything <Speech_Male> on our first date she beat <Speech_Male> my ass <Speech_Male> in darts she <Speech_Male> put my ass in Pool <Speech_Male> and she <Speech_Male> beat my <SpeakerChange> ass in the bedroom <Speech_Male> but that was <Speech_Music_Male> <Speech_Music_Male> last <Speech_Male> one you wanted <Speech_Male> <Speech_Male> for those going <Speech_Male> <Speech_Male> freak. <Speech_Male> Damietta gotTa tell you <Silence> man. This has <SpeakerChange> been awesome. <Speech_Male> <Speech_Telephony_Male> I've had a lot of fun. Man <Speech_Male> You guys are great people <Speech_Male> <Speech_Male> It's <Speech_Male> an I learned a lot about <Speech_Male> you guys. <SpeakerChange> You know <Speech_Female> you're <Speech_Female> that was the whole point. <Speech_Female> We just wanted to educate <Speech_Female> you on us <Speech_Female> You know <Speech_Male> since we're <SpeakerChange> EGOMANIAC <Speech_Male> over here. <Speech_Male> We do sit in a room <Speech_Male> and talk to ourselves and recorded. <Speech_Male> So there's <Speech_Male> a certain <SpeakerChange> level <Speech_Female> Egomania that comes <Speech_Female> with now. We actually <Speech_Female> really appreciate you <Speech_Female> coming on. This has been a <Speech_Female> ton of fun. <hes> <Speech_Female> before <Speech_Female> We went <Speech_Female> to break their earlier. <Speech_Female> We were talking about <Speech_Female> some Current <Speech_Female> upcoming projects. <Speech_Female> Did you want to tell our <Speech_Female> listeners? <hes> where <Speech_Female> they can find <SpeakerChange> you. <Speech_Female> What's out in what's coming <Speech_Male> on. Fortunately <Silence> because <Speech_Male> <SpeakerChange> the way the <Speech_Male> world is right now I lost <Speech_Male> all my dates. <Speech_Male> I have no <Speech_Male> comedy shows on <Speech_Male> the books. <Speech_Male> No <SpeakerChange> future shows <Speech_Male> right now <Speech_Male> But when I <Speech_Male> do I <Speech_Male> would love to tell you <Speech_Male> about it if you go to <Speech_Telephony_Male> Damon. Malar DOT <Silence> COM <Speech_Male> and <Speech_Male> sign up for <Speech_Male> my mailing list. I send <Speech_Male> out one email <Speech_Male> month with all <Speech_Male> my dates on <Speech_Male> their. And <Speech_Male> <Speech_Telephony_Male> whenever I'm in your area <Speech_Male> please come and see me. <Speech_Male> I have <Speech_Male> to comedy <Speech_Male> albums. One just came <Speech_Female> out. That's really funny. <Speech_Male> It's called UNICYCLE. <Speech_Male> <Speech_Male> And that's the one that has the <Speech_Male> story of the cheating girlfriend <Speech_Male> on it. That's <Speech_Male> on all the stuff <Speech_Male> and my first <Speech_Male> one was <Speech_Male> probably my favorite <Speech_Male> It's called <Speech_Male> a shame <Speech_Male> pain and love and <Speech_Male> you can find me at <Speech_Male> Millard comedy <Speech_Male> on <Speech_Male> Instagram <Speech_Male> and twitter. <Speech_Male> And <Speech_Male> Yeah I guess that's <Speech_Male> I guess that's it <Speech_Male> just been sitting <Speech_Male> here writing <Speech_Male> new stuff so <Speech_Male> a <SpeakerChange> can't wait to <Speech_Male> get on stage. <Speech_Male> Ladies and gentlemen <Speech_Male> this has been <Speech_Male> an hour <Speech_Male> <Speech_Male> with our <Speech_Male> Damon Malarde. Who's <Speech_Male> a traveling comedian? <Speech_Male> Who used to be in the lifestyle <Speech_Male> <Speech_Male> before we get out <Speech_Male> of here. Maybe the <Speech_Male> beautiful. Mallory will tell <Speech_Male> everybody where to find <Speech_Male> us <Speech_Male> and we will <Speech_Male> <SpeakerChange> flow this <Speech_Female> popsicles. Then I'm <Speech_Female> pretty sure this is where everyone <Speech_Female> turned tunes <Speech_Female> out because if you've been listening <Speech_Female> to find us but <Speech_Female> we are casual springer <Speech_Female> everywhere <Speech_Female> that's casual swinger dot <Speech_Female> com. Feel free to shoot <Speech_Female> a message. Podcast <Speech_Female> at casual swinger. <Speech_Female> If you love US please <Speech_Female> leave a review <Speech_Female> on. I tunes <Speech_Female> were <Speech_Female> also on <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> your favorite social <Speech_Female> sites facebook <Speech_Music_Female> twitter instagram <Speech_Female> <Advertisement> in Youtube <Speech_Female> and <Speech_Female> the dating <Speech_Music_Female> sites of course because <Speech_Music_Female> we like to get laid <Speech_Music_Female> especially

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"damon malarde" Discussed on Casual Swinger

Casual Swinger

01:47 min | 7 months ago

"damon malarde" Discussed on Casual Swinger

"Guys want to make it out for that we were previously sold out but since that second week opened up which was our home week we went ahead and open that up to everybody so that is out there. Plus February twenty twenty one is a hot seller in almost sold out already. So if you're interested in that trip that one is a pretty good one as well. In addition to that we have our deal coming up in Nashville in August. I am working on that room block. I kind of spoke too soon last week and we talked about this. But yes okay. It's all good. We do have the block. As a matter of fact it's going to get cheaper so we're going to get that going for you guys and that's pretty much all it's going on right now. Are you sure you're not forgetting podcast? Palooza October Oh yeah what about I am. I am pumped. So I thought I had M- outfits worked out and then I found something new and pinching pennies because it's not cheap but I think it'll be a lot of fun. Oh my God. It's not like break the bank expensive but I'm I'm kind of a frugal little miser over here. Oh since when when it's my money and not definitely check out podcast of in our show notes Mallory to tell you where they can find this. We'll get on with Damon. Malarde and sexist. Funny all right guys. We'll casuals everywhere reach out to us at podcast. At casual swinger DOT COM. You can find that. Our website casual springer dot com as well as social media. Facebook twitter instagram in Youtube. Look up on the dating sites that's SEC. As the less double D nation quiver and Cassidy do it folks checkout Damon Malarde. We've got some information in the show notes for.

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"damon malarde" Discussed on Casual Swinger

Casual Swinger

13:03 min | 7 months ago

"damon malarde" Discussed on Casual Swinger

"Of casual swinger. My Name's Mickey and Mallory. Oh it's taken us forever to get this episode out again. It's not just Mallory Mallory in the casual dog. I do I have one hundred. Fifteen pound rottweiler in my lap literally sitting across her world interesting dog he is actually have no lap now. Why is he staring at me? Like he's challenging me lease so lonesome we've been Holed up in our offices today. So just my bitch now yeah. He's he's being a Mama's boy ray he's got issues but this episode is called. Sex's funny sex is funny. It can be funny hilarious. Shit happens in the bedrooms especially when you're naked and you're kind of slap together and the noises that come from sex can be funny 'cause inside him sole twelve year old boy. They know it's natural and arrogance in there but if there's like group play in a comes out I'm I have to like try not to snicker and I just fall down laughing. Just cracking up. It sounds funny. It's hilarious and the faces and the positions and a leg in the air and you know and if you do it if you're right and you long enough you're sweaty and you look like complete hell by the time you're done you look you try to look cute and sexy when you go into it and you come out of it and I look up wrecked. You're an episode of loss. I'm lucky yeah for sure for sure. Speaking of sex. I'm so glad I'm thinking about sex again. Like my brain's finally coming out of the Cova fog with the crises work and all the changes to our lives it and it's been a little nuts like even try until they get into like kind of pushed you up against the counter today. I'm like hey I know I loved it. You were like. Hey what's that thing why I knew it was really starting to creep back in where I woke myself up blake grinding on you like a cat and he was the dog? It's this covert thing has just screwed everything up including people sex. We talked about in our last episode and we heard some feedback from you guys. I think that made us feel a lot more normal now. My pink hair is not normal. Yeah we're not trying to lake minimize the impact that it's had on everyone's lives people have lost loved ones. Gersh you name that. It's just we're all trying to deal with it as best as we can. And sometimes the way we deal with it is You know the shelter in place and our mental and emotional spaces too so places. Listen to me to vodka. I was trying to understand where you're spaces. Where I WANNA see your splices laid out. And Hey you know. It's funny though because here we. Everything's are starting to reopen a little bit rate. So Yeah especially in Florida. Because we're an at your unrest state anyway. And that's the way Florida works. They're just like good luck trying not to die. May the odds be ever in your favor. So yeah things are opening up a little bit and not a lot of bit. Although I did hear a few lifestyle clubs are reopening which I think you may be a little dangerous but I guess we'll see how that goes at the end of the day Looking over the numbers in cove vid without going too far down that rabbit hole. It's about ninety ninety six ninety seven percent survival rate. It's an and well. No that's not actually accurate. It's ninety four to ninety five percent survivor. So it's about six to six and a half percent fatality rate and that's worldwide average in the United States. It's about six percents. This ninety four ninety five But at the end of the day starvation kills one hundred percent of people so people want to go back to work. People want to get out. I don't blame them. I guess I don't get it. That scary it scares the hell out of people and makes them not want to have sex. But I think I want to have sex with you. I would love to jail I really would like. I don't I don't care if it's thirty seconds or thirty hours. I just I need me some. It'd be flaming after thirty hours. I be broken for the rest of the year old my back but I think one of the things we really wanted to do was really wanted to laugh. Really wanted to smile. We wanted something. 'cause you know casual swinger has been so much fun looking across these two seasons? Now that we've done this so many episodes that are fun they were funded record. Were Fun to think about from the listen to Oh yeah and and that definition of fun like spans everything from the comical that make sure like guts her like episode. We did we Keaton. Only that was on my gosh. We just did that not too long your food. I I gave up way too much personal vo by myself I got real down and dirty They like even the more serious episodes like the one with Harry or or whatever all of it has been so much fun and I think we just need to be more mindful of including that in our day to day lives Absolutely and maybe just make ourselves sit down and record because one of the question of Arizona question. That was a comment from a listener. Who just was like? Just get on and talk because we used to hearing your voice and it makes us feel better and made my day. It really did really give a shit where we had to say but I really really really appreciated that message and you know who you are out there. That said it's a thank you very much for that and it was pretty cool but today we're doing something fun. His sex's funny sex Larry Ass- we have a comedian by the name of Demon Mallard. Who joined us on the show to have some laughs just to kind of talk about his lifestyle experiences a little bit. He's lived all over the country and he's got a couple of things on youtube. Got A couple of albums out there but he used to be in the lifestyle. Yeah yeah he was in a previous relationship. That was In the lifestyle and he's got a lot of interesting stories. They came from that before. And after well of course during we probably made the poor guy nervous because we were just all over him really tells the story tells that story it was. It was fun though. Well I have a thing for Comedians. You know there's no bones about him huge Bert Kreischer fan which a lot of folks Are Obviously he's he's super popular? And I'm so happy to see him. Excess Love Tom's Agoura elisas slashing Jer Brad Williams. I mean fuck. The list goes on and on like I WANNA stand up fucking love comedians. Now I think we love people that WanNa see people happy. I don't even if they're not a comedian even if they're just other lifestyles or other content creators anybody that wants to see other people. Smile is probably our jam absolutely can make me laugh. You can probably get in my pants. That's exactly how I did it. Folks if you want to know how much love ass took her down. I made her laugh and I gotTA drunk. No I was sober. Already planned on fucking you are we. Someone had told me out of shape anyway. So that's GonNa be kind of fun. I think he enjoy. It might even run a little long and we played a game that we call. Oh my God. I've never see what that sounds familiar. Oh I know it's basically never have I ever but it was around a little bit and it ended up being a lot of fun. Yeah what I loved his and you guys will hear this in the segment. But like it's it's hard to try to think of something that you haven't done that you would assume you're the other players have assigned especially as he knows we're fucking dirties so exactly but think about playing that with a bunch of lifestyle is we've done it before it's fucking hard. It really is really hard. We have some depraved. Ask Friends in the lifestyle of some people that you're like you did a word. Yeah that's also drew not to call names by beautiful wife what I have lived a full life and in very grateful for it. Are you full completely? You don't want to do anything else. No I'm not full as of right now. So if you'd like to help me totally down to San so we've got Damon Malarde here for today. He's the comedian that's joining us. He did a great job. We had a lot of fun with him. We think you guys are GonNa dig it. We'll get into that here in just a few but before we do. Let's about what we've been up to what's going on. Yeah well lately. This week on grass were supposed to be in Jamaica for their May trip and typically. We don't go on this trip but doing virtual trip which I'm really excited about that was launched on Saturday and they're having a lot of fun. There's a lot of participation people giving Posting photos for contests like yesterday was Your favorite Jamaican photo never outfits and landscapes and staff and. Oh Mimi so homesick but it made me so happy to see it so really was freaking amazing rate lake. I love seeing. 'cause this is the first time that every rascals been to be able to participate at the same time that's sure it's technically because it's a virtual trip were all there together because they're seasonal rascals that only go either in the spring or the fall right so there's like thousand people that are playing this game now which is just nuts and it's so cool to see and we played what's under my hat and I took a video from the pool and people could see your legs and it kind of looked like you were and everything. Move The fucking camera. I'm not gonNA tell us. Keep it a secret awesome but we ended up under. My hat was a flashlight is a flashlight. Quick shot that we sell on casual toys DOT COM and We're actually going to give away a casualties Rodeo for the person that guests that so and the Rodeo the hand held vibrate chargeable by that we use for vibrator radio. Which is I mean. It's really taken off in our group that has been one of the go-to one of the toys that everyone comes back and says my God thing's amazing fighter really WanNa put it on our store. Yeah I'm going to get there eventually. It's you know we use it as a giveaway. We use it for prizes and I think it makes it a little more special. It's like not something you can buy. You have to engage with US socially to get it which I kinda dig that on some level but I think we probably should start selling enough. People are after it. Are we using it as the drug dealer model like? Here's some free candy kid right. Get in the van. Yeah Yeah but that's been Kinda neat and yeah even with this vid thing. I think we've been engaging a little more. My Hair's growing out my roots are showing yet. Because his your hair's been In migrated from like purple like Barney the dinosaur to this feed it Calico Code Pink Blonde with some purple dots in their F- way. I I am not a licensed hairstylist native. I have a big purple spot in the skin on the side of my head sorry I was rubbing it in was giving you a scout massage while the die was setting and I thought that was a good thing was not so I went out in the neighborhood of the other day and You know I'm an nerd and we had an old we quite a few. Elderly People says Florida after all in the neighborhood. There were looking for some help. They had problems. I stopped by and the first thing. He's guys like eighty years old. He Looks Amigas. What happened to your head. What do you mean your head's paint like I'm sorry? It was a tragic accident. I would have laughed. He told them that you caught something. Honoree aside affected the Kovic. Still want me to fix your shit. Oh you can't that is not safe to say and it's not funny but gonorrhea hilarious is not hilarious. I had that in college. It sucked thought. You had the clap at two. Oh Wow I was. That's what I should've used for. The game. Never have ever had gonorrhea. We'll which time I've actually been very lucky. I've never had an STI better. Knock on wood. Did that sound like would know. It didn't see it. Yes yes do I WANNA see all the wedding like. I'm starting to solicit for Dick Pics at this point. Someone don't say that I get all the Goddamn social media. Good it will be raining. Dick's twitter in. It'll be all your fault. I'm GONNA blame you because I have to look at all. Please send Dick Pics to Mickey at Casual Swinger Shit Dot Com. That's wrong you but we do have some fun stuff coming up still right so that virtual rascal trip is going on right now and we are participating in that but we have a real rascal trip coming up. That is two weeks long in November. Twenty twenty so. We are selling rooms for that. If you guys want to make it out for that we were previously sold out but since that second week opened up which was our home week we went ahead and open that up to everybody so that is out there..

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