20 Episode results for "DAD"

Not Creating A 'Dad Wound' in Your Children (with Leila Lopes)

Dad Tired

44:38 min | 1 year ago

Not Creating A 'Dad Wound' in Your Children (with Leila Lopes)

"I think there is a lot of men who are successful and confident and strong but when you like strip all of that out You find guys who are just longing to know that they're enough and that have what it takes and that their loved based on who they are and not what they do what they can accomplish. How's it going guys? Welcome back to the DAD tired podcast. Podcast I'm your host. Jared Lopes. Join me every Monday as we dive into what it looks like to be men who fall in love with Jesus and help our families do the same you can learn more about our books. WCHS resources conferences and even online community by going to dad tire dot com. Let's dive into today's episode. Today's episode is brought to you by Blinky. Let me tell you about one of my favorite ultimate dad tired hacks. 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All all the books you want and all for one low price right now for a limited time blinkers has special offer just for you. The DEAD TIRED AUDIENCE TO BLINKING DOT COM slash tired to start your free seven-day trial that's seven days of unlimited free access to read or listen to Blink as-as massive library of books. That's bleakest spelled spelled B. L. I. N. K. I S. T. blinking dot com forward slash. Tired to start your seven day. Free trial blinking dot com forward slash. Tired Hey guys. Welcome back to the DER podcasts. As always super glad that you guys are hanging out today I have Leyla my bride. Welcome Back Bay. Glad to have you. Leyla is a fan favorite. It Every time she comes on the show people always send me messages and say Jared you should quit and lately should take over. 'cause they don't want them but they like when you're on van so while hoping to have Leyla about once a month to talk about different things today we're talking about identity specifically How Dad's help shape the identity of their children and We'll hear that from my perspective but also from Layla Perspective as a woman and a daughter So that's that's what we're going to dive into today. I WANNA give couple updates on a few things before we dive into that in just a second here. The first one is I just got back from an eight-day trip which was does? I'm sure that might come up in the discussion. It was a heavy week. I was gone all the kids. Were sick. Lucic everyone's thrown up the whole horrible week as bad And I was in form I can tell you everything. I was doing But Layla was here. Just hold down the fort and barely hanging on But one of the one of the reasons I was gone I was gone for a lot of different things but one of the reasons I was gone is because we did a conference in Austin men every single time. We do these conferences. I I call Leyla texture during the day throughout the conference and also afterwards. I'm just like this is in my opinion of all the things we're doing podcasts. Books everything this is probably the most life-giving for me are these conferences. To to spend a whole day with guys and to see how the Gospel is like looking them in the eye and seeing how how the Gospel is changing their perspective and their hearts in real time is like it's a game changer. And just gets it getting to meet you guys out there real podcast listeners. And hearing stories of how how God is working in you over the last years of you listened. It's just really really cool so we always wanted to do more of these But it's expensive. It's expensive to fly people out to go there me and Some team members to put these things on. It's expensive to get food and breakfast and lunch I just cost money. Sometimes we bring in worship leaders to help out there. There's hard costs as you can imagine to putting on any event and so what we WANNA do is a lower the burden for a church especially in smaller towns where we would like to host these conferences in smaller areas. And they just don't have budgets for these kinds of things and then we also want to be able to lower the cost of the tickets so more guys can come Onto that so our goal in the next six weeks is to raise fifteen thousand dollars and that will really help us all of two thousand Twenty to do more and more of these conferences and really. I'd like to have one of these conferences in a city at least within a two to three hour drive for any guy in the country that he can can go to. PS Babe. I think told you this but I post a picture in the facebook group. A guy drove nine and a half hours. Yeah that's amazing slept in his car. No well that's the thing. They probably have to choose between buying the ticket and getting hotel room or paying for their gas or buying the food. Insane that's crazy crazy. And he's a fostered. He's got four kids absolutely insane. Nine and a half hours. He drove to come to this conference. And when I asked him why as a pro Y why do you drove nine hours. I said why why did you do that is I just really need the gospel. That's cool as cow cools at. Just amazing and he got the chat afterwards and I post a picture of him in the data facebook group. You can go check that out such a cool. That was really really amazing. But we want to do more of these we want to host more they so if you or your business if your business owner or maybe you can talk to your boss if you're a small business or maybe you have a good relationship with your boss. Or maybe just you as a family says I want to contribute to this so so more guys can come to these and hopefully have to drive nine and a half hours to come. We would love free to contribute as always all of these donations are tax deductible. Here's the thing to like. We're going to sweeten the deal. Every single person that makes donation of twenty dollars or more. I'm going to sign a book and send you my brand new book for you just as a thank you and say okay. Thank you for supporting the ministry so we will send a book out to you Be Patient with us because we're GONNA have to send a lot of books and I'm literally GonNa have to be sitting in my living room shipping amount so be patient but that I will get them to you as quickly as I can but we will send each of you. Hard copy book of the New Dead Tired Book Signed if you make a donation of twenty dollars or more and then when you make that donation nation of twenty dollars or more you're automatically entered in and we're GONNA pick one person One donor to receive two hundred and fifty dollar the Amazon Gift Card to help pay for Christmas gifts which is nuts so if you could use a little bit of help and you want to contribute to just the Gospel and the Kingdom Work and you believe in dad tired please help us raise the skull. Fifteen thousand dollars in the next six weeks. That's the plan. How did he donate? Where do they go? How do they do it? And his tax deductible tax-deductible get those taxes lowered payless Dunkel. Sam Come taxis and They go to dad tire dot com forward slash Christmas four dead tired dot com forced. Chris that's where you can donate get a free copy of the book signed sent out to you also be entered twin that two hundred and fifty dollar Amazon Gift Card. The last thing I'll just say and then we're GONNA dive in here to the discussion. Is I just recorded the audiobook For that data book which is going to be really fun. I know a lot of guests have been waiting for that so just recorded it. Got Home Do a little bit more touch-ups because I'm sure messed up and slurred some words in mumbled but once that standard should be within the next couple of months. That'll be all right ben diving in to identity. I'm GonNa just we Leland. I try not to talk about what we're going to talk about too much before before for we hit record get to it now. I would love to know from your perspective when you think through like your dad and and how he shaped your identity based on what he said things that he said to you or maybe things. He didn't say to you any actions he might have done or lack of actions. Like what are some things you remember about your childhood. That how you feel have shaped your identity. I'm going to give you twenty more seconds. Needs to think about that question as I tell you that on instagram. This week while I was traveling I posted a question. I also did this in the dead tired facebook community. I posted a question where I said. Finish the sentence complete this sentence with the first thing that comes to mind regarding your dad and all I said was my dad and then it was blank. I left a blank so I asked people. Just finish that sentence when you think about your dad. What's the first thing that comes to mind? Holy cow it was insane Hundreds and hundreds of people responded to this on Instagram in the facebook group and it was just like I would say probably twenty five percent of them were positive. Seventy five percent of them were like rip your heart out heartbreaking when people think about their dad So I might talk about that and some of those answers a little bit more but what do you think when you think about your dad. And the way that he's helped shape your identity one way or another. What do you think that's While start by saying My Dad is a sensitive subject for me so if I cry I'm GonNa cry so there and I'm not sorry but That's what I mean. Layla was literally crying about her dad. Probably eight minutes before I hit record. It's not uncommon I Grab my dad. A Lot I love my dad. WHO's still in my life but It's interesting when I think about how he shaped my identity. The WHO I am today and how identify myself is nothing at all how I would have identified myself growing up so I'm trying to zinc how I would have said I identify myself as I was growing up and I think part of my And my dad was very very Amana. Very few words so I didn't get a lot of Words from him so I think I had take what I could get and a lot of it was We connected along on more of an intellectual basis. It wasn't emotional or anything and so I think I I tried to Maybe impress him by like knowing things at least not saying dumb things because they didn't want him to think I was So that was a big saying for me as a not looking dumb in front of my dad or trying to keep up. I guess with him and my brother. 'cause they're both very very very intelligent. Man and So that's one. I guess that I can think of what what's crazy is how much that is shaped to. You are for both good and bad today. Land your We've talked about any aground before but some of the language that uses for personality is like your greatest fear is really looking dumb. Yeah I'm Andy Graham type five and And it is interesting is that I like I imagine it would still be in any grand five. Even if my dad weren't who he was but the fact that he was who he I mean in who he is and I turned out the way that I am just that there's such a high emphasis on Intelligence and not looking stupid did and the worry that you don't know enough like I that's real for me for sure being a type five and I. I guess I'd even growing up before I had any idea. What any Graham was I I? I lived that I lived the Anita Graham type five life. Yeah I think it's important to recognize for all of us that Your Dad shaped your identity like rick more than you probably think he did and regardless if you think he did yeah He most definitely. I mean this for everyone listening. Like every if you're listening to these words your dad shaped your identity and for some of that that like you said it was his lack of words which is crazy Qassam. Some dads are like abused verbally abusive And there's there's a whole kind of sliding scale on that they can be outright very mean things I can be torn down by words but you can also be torn down by silence. That's right. Yeah yeah that's right. So that's a huge thing to recognize that and then even just absence like my dad was gone so my dad I. I've heard probably very confu words. You know probably less than one percent of the words That her growing up from my parents were from my dad. And you know and so and yet he'd still deeply shaped my identity and who I am and that's really what I saw. Those answers is like holy cow. What I kept picturing said this on instagram? What I kept picturing is Were all walking around with like adult costumes on But with that revealed to me all those people who answered it really felt like they just took that mask offer that cost Emma and I got a glimpse of them as a child and I was like man. You're a a little boy or a little girl who just like still carrying the wounds of your dad and not in a condescending way but still in there it's all of us in some shape or form I mean again. There was a lot. There's a twenty five percent of the people who had just amazing mazing dad's I think one thing that's interesting too is Like you said I am. I am on my five and how much of that was like shaped by my dad and and how much of that would have happened. Normally it's really interesting the identity when you talk about the role of Dad giving identity to the children does run. How much of that is nurture? And how much of that is nature and Do you have any initial thoughts on that no I I always think that's really. It is interesting I I guess I don't know enough about the grand. Maybe they do say like this is just you no matter where or maybe it is. Is there some like genetic component. I Dunno or maybe just a little both but I wonder what it would have been like if I were this type. Five a home raised by like three and a two or something. I don't know sorry if you guys don't know much about the game and if you don't you should because it's super helpful but Y- yeah as a type five being raised. I would guess my dad's type five. I don't know I I'll never know but I would suspect he is because we're I think in pretty similar But I just I do remember feeling like I have to not look stupid in front of him. I think that I mean I did. My Dad was around a lot to influence my who I am and yet I still think that there's so much of that is that is in me. Yeah So I I hear a lot like your dad. Even though he wasn't around to shape you absolutely and I think some of the The the worst part's the Mo- the worst part of WHO. I am I think like just genetically or if you want to make it like spiritual you know kind of like the. The sins of the father passed down. Eat which crazy as he wasn't even around and really the point like the reason where he was talking about as. Ah Because of the way that a father carries that he passes onto his children and in shaping their identity is so big. One of my best friends. I was on the phone with him recently and he asked me this question that nobody's ever asked me before and it really made me think In a perspective I hadn't thought of before. But he said he knows my my background in my childhood and all that stuff and he said jared if you had a conversation with your dad or multiple conversations. Oh you got to the point where you felt like he said all the things that you didn't hear as a child would you be healed of some of the things that you feel like you still carry around. And he struggled with today and I was like a it was a really deep question. I've never I've never would've fixed. What exactly does he have the power to fix what he did wrong? as a child. And that's a really like I get. I would pose the same question to any of the listeners. Before I even give you my answer but I told him but I I would give the same question to you like. What are your thoughts if your dad was able to like say whether that's a one time conversation or multiple? Tom Com multiple conversations and and he was able to like say what you never heard. It gets to the point where he he he could start to heal that. Do you feel like you'd be healed as a man. Here's what I told Oldham And some of US know this story. Because you've been listening to podcasts. A longtime ago. Several years ago. I've told you guys about a conversation with my dad Were I had asked him. This was probably what three years ago I had asked my dad. We Rat Rut. He came up to Portland to visit And he just kinda normal visit time. It wasn't nothing deep and I just was going through my own self. We were pretty recently out of a really crappy. Be Time in our marriage so I was like dealing with a lot of personal stuff. I was in the middle of counseling. Like we're going to heal every. Yeah she's been like let's. I'm getting after everything here so I just got into this. I was just like I'm going to be ballsy and asked my dad why he left. And so we dinner literally at this Nice restaurant in Portland and I and my heart's racing and I remember just like this is it. I'm just GONNA go for and so I asked my dad. I love you think I think I said like Dad. I'm not mad at you and I've forgiven you but I just need to know from you from your perspective from your mouth. I need to know why you left when I was a kid Because I just I have a kid I have kids now I can imagine leaving them so I just need to know why you did and I think I totally caught him off guard. Yeah But he owned up to it man. He just embraced it and he was just like we could tell he had. It's not something that he had forgotten about or pretended didn't happen right like that wasn't his perspective. He was like he knows he. He laughed. And that's a big deal. Yeah you could immediately sense the weight on in him. When had asked that and I just really believe God's sovereignty like out of all the times in years I could've asked him? That was the time to do it. And what what was happening in his own on life and heart was that was it was ripe for that time so he just he was humble. He embraced it. He said it was the biggest regret of his life. And then I spent how I feel like. I'm getting emotional. The springing up. I haven't thought about it a while but I spent a bunch of time crying in the restaurants on the edge and hold it together at this restaurant but since then and our relationship has totally changed Even while I was on the day trip I talked to him. My Dad calls me often now. I feel like we moved. You know twenty twenty five years ahead in healing In the last three years because of that conversation But the reason I'm bringing that up because my my friend asked me. If he said everything would it. He'll you and I really feel like well. We had that conversation and now my dad is telling me all the time I love view. I'm proud of you. You're such a great man. Everything like all the. I'm hearing all the things I never heard as a child and yet I don't feel healed I feel like that relationships healed in many ways but I but I personally don't few healed and what I told my buddy was I think that the the ruts that I was digging or that was caused as a result of my dad's absence were so deep at such a formative time in my life as a child as my brain is forming as my emotions are forming as my Personality is forming ruts are being doug there's holes there's gaps because of his lack of involvement and as a result assault. Those are so deep. Yeah that his words now can't fill all those I'm sure they're really actually are like biological and physiological implications locations that can't you can't go back and like make those connections like actual neurological biological connections anymore. Yup Yeah Yeah that would be interesting to see that. Well there are studies in Sorry sidetracked but in children who have been abused or in like a unstable all grow- growing up if you MRI a brain of a child who is in kind of a chaotic childhood versus a not necessarily like physical changes just to the brain but like you know they just grew up in a in chaos versus a child who maybe had more stable upbringing. Their their brains actually look different. That's insane yeah and it's You can't go back and undo that but there's a lot you can go to counseling in their tools to handle it but is like that they can move. What is it you can move? You can move forward but you don't move on Semi Cents Like you and your dad moved forward but you can't like that's still happened. Yeah you don't get over it you don't get past it but you do move forward. That's a good way of saying. Hey guys I wanted to take a quick minute and recommend a Bible for you to add to your book collection if you haven't already checked out the every man's Bible by ten publishers. You definitely need to the Everyman's Bible was written specifically for men in mind has thousands of notes on topics from work sex competition integrity pretty so much more. If you WANNA commit to studying God's word more regularly And you want to Bible. That is going to help address things at US men go through. You're definitely going to want to pick up the everyman's Bible. The Bible is new living translation it features book. Introductions at has forty-four charts study notes and sections that deal with the most important relationships ups and all of our lives which is a relationship with God and our relationship with women. I put a link in the show notes where you can click indirectly purchase the Bible but you can also find it anywhere where books are sold including ten Dale Dot Com. That's T. Y.. N. D. A. L. E. DOT COM. This is such a Great Bible and definitely one that you're going to want to have on your bookshelf off. Let's dive back into today's discussion. I gave this message one time where I talked about how God has a reputation all throughout the scriptures where he is telling us who we are and I just want to read a couple of these passages because I think there are so powerful and really like my dad doesn't have the power he doesn't possess the power to really shape and to heal who I am but I do believe that like by the grace of God in the Holy Spirit that he can start to speak into to all of us these gaps. That are dad's left and to say like no this is who you are And that that would actually bring healing. 'cause there's only at the end the day like Dad's matter Significantly MOMS matter significantly adults speaking into children matter significantly. But there's one voice who really matters soon and that's our creator and so I just WanNa read these A couple of quick versus here one of them says this it's Deuteronomy seven verse six. And says this for you you are a people holy to the Lord your God the Lord. Your God has chosen you to be the people To be a people for his treasured possession out of all all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the Lord set his love on you and shows you for you were the fewest of all the peoples but it is because the Lord loves you and is keeping the oath that he swore to your fathers that the Lord has brought you out out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the House of slavery from the hand of Pharaoh King of Egypt on what I love about that will actually read one more verse And and you just move on a couple chapters do on fourteen verse two. It says this For you is repeating really the same thing for you are a people holy to the Lord your God and the Lorde has chosen you to be the people to people for his treasured possession out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth and I'm GonNa just read one more here and this is later much later in the Scriptures is from Peter. I Peter two Verse Nine says this First Peter two nine says but you are a chosen race a royal priesthood. Same language anguish but now he's talking to totally different followers of God. You are a chosen race. A royal priesthood. A holy nation. A people for his own possession that you may proclaim the excellencies of of him. Who called you out of darkness into his Marvel Marvelous light and he goes on to talk about like? Here's who God says you are and then as a result. Here's here's what you should do. Actually all of those passes end in the call to action but the call to action always comes after. Here's who you are and what we typically do is flip it what we do is we chase identity and we chase identity by doing things. So I'm going to do a bunch of stuff so that God will like like me people like me. My Co workers will like me why my wife and kids like me. What friends will like me but God says before you go do anything just know? Here's who you are. You are chosen people like before the foundations of the world. God chose you. I love that he said not. Because you're the the most you had no special shoals thing I chose you because of his great love and that's like the that's the identity of that. I hope all of us men before we even talk about what it looks like presses to give that to golden. Here's what God says you are. He loves you. He delights in you you. He is pleased in you. Not Because of anything you've down down but because of the righteousness that he put on you through Jesus Christ and he this is you are a holy people you are chosen. You are set aside and so so based on that identity. Here's how you can live out. And Righteousness and obedience. I like an Peter Eight. You said that he said He called you out of the darkness. Not that you like work your way out of it and became into the light like he called you out of the darkness. I think that the the really kinda how I would want in this thought is I think that there are a lot of men and this is really the point. Everything I wanted to say today based on that instagram posts. And what we post on facebook I think there is a lot of men who are successful. Oh and confident and strong but when you like strip all of that out You find guys who are just longing to know that there are enough and that they have what it takes and that their loved based on who they are and not what they do or what they can accomplish Because here's what happens for for us as dad's with our kids when our kids don't hear who they are and they're not reminded minded if what we just said that we heard in Deuteronomy and in First Peter when they don't hear that often from their dad and from their mom. But especially Ashley From Dad. Here's who are you are a child of God you are loved by the God of the universe not based on anything. You'd look like or can accomplish in school or sports or music or whatever like this is just who God says you are in for the kids that struggle a shame it cannot be taken taken away from you. That's right yeah. Some kids feel like but I've already done wrong. Our Son seems to struggle with that. He's convincing himself self sometimes I. He's can't he's not he's not worthy but I soon all the time. I can't stop doing it so but it cannot be taken away right and then so for us as dads to really hold up that mere for them and to say here's who you are. You are loved by God and that cannot be taken away. He he delights in new not based on anything you do but who he says you are. I'm if they don't get that from you like that listening to this right now. If they don't get that was it turns into is men who later in life Are Constantly confused and searching for that elsewhere and I just think we have a world full of that like men who are just desperately trying to figure out. Am I enough. Do I have what it takes and my capable and all kind of sizing each other up or I'll turn to accomplish things. We're all trying to be the guy whether it's the guy at work the funny guy by the end of this guy. The I have an opinion about this guy. Whatever the guy is at the root of all of it is like am I enough can draw? Have what it takes to do this and we just scramble and were confused and we just are on the like constant hamster Mr. We'll chasing after something that will validate us as men. Because we're just desperately longing for somebody tell us your worthy based on who got says. You're you're not what you can accomplish And I'll be the first due to raise my hand and say that's me I in in many ways I feel like I. That's my greatest crux the threat word crux greatest thorn in my side Church word. It's my greatest weakness. I feel like my whole life Am I would you say you. You've married like fifteen different guys. My Gosh at least I mean and not literally of course but yeah over the course of our marriage I would say been A lot out of different things and a lot of different shades share examples because people are getting only know jared dead tired podcast her author guy. So what what have you known jared as so on the surface what it looks like if you like. If you were jared's neighbor like what you would know of jared is like jared in ministry Like on staff at a church and jared that you know maybe lead worship and jared that coaches and He's like super good coach. Soccer coach and jared that quits his job randomly with no plan B. and then decides instill like start things and quantum and start him again and then quit it and start a new saying like you know whether it's I mean this. Get real personal personal but it is on on. I think you know if you kinda appeal. A couple of layers back it's like what brings You know how do I in. This isn't always a negative thing but it certainly can be in for all the any Graham type threes but you know what gives me The biggest accolades and how people view me You know maybe jared would feel like. Is this the thing that gets people to you. Know Pat me on the back and is this the thing. Did I make someone proud when I did this. Did I make someone proud when I did this. And just kind of maybe always searching for the thing that makes someone proud Or like we just had a conversation recently about you know being provider in that identity is like the provider and the pressure to feel As a man a lot of times feeling that you're supposed to be the provider later for your family and I'm feeling like I've let you down you've let me down. I'm not regard so it's exhausting. Yeah it's exhausting. Because I I'm just I'm constantly adapting to just look for. Is this where I find my place till like figure. Oh the I'm good at this. So maybe this is what who. I'm supposed to be in this as well as to which is When it's fleeting and when you search for that in the world and in in your accomplishments It's it's sinking sand as Jesus say that foundation is real weak and what's evidence like what proves out to me and again as talking about me. I hope that you're seeing yourself in this like all. I know there are a lot of dudes at struggle with this and I'm trying to find their identity like who am I in in my enough What happens in the way it proves out for me is all do something like like data hired or write a book and people will say this is great? You're doing a good job. God's using you and I can really start to feel like this is where I'm supposed to be. This is where God is using me. This is where I find my identity but then I read in review as a minute hotel room this week and home he says you're the Joel Osteen of podcasts. Which I'm GonNa put you on blast bro? You put me on blast on nineteenth but but he says you know you're the Joel Osteen. This guy's Joel O Stena podcast. All he wants his money which is hilarious. Because I'm never collected a paycheck from bad tire not to get a if if you could see Yeah so his thing was that I. I'm only out for money. which is I didn't know that part of the Heaven's name? He was really mad about the ads that are on the show and he said I'm my intention is that I'm trying to just. I'm all about money so for anyone. That may be tired and I get grumpy grumpy. UNITARIAN so one of the things that that would be I. I've literally never collected a paycheck for debt from that time for you can vouch for that So so anyway but that stung deeply and it was. It wasn't just because I haven't collected paycheck and I'm not if anyone saw us in our house right now all my life. I'm clearly not out chasing facing tolerance for this trying to get rich off this thing So that was but that wasn't the reason the reason was because I felt like. Oh maybe I'm not good at this. Yeah and and then same with like a book review somebody will leave like a three out of five stars and I'm like Oh you know what I'm going to hang up the whole thing Because I'm this is I'm not could at this. Had I had a dad to as a kid being like who cares like who cares if you get somebody gives you a three out of five stars or say you're the Jolo hosting podcast who cares. Because here's who God says you are That would probably roll off my back a lot easier and again. It's not like Macho confidence. It's not this fake. We just WANNA be tough dudes who don't care what people say. It's we want to be grounded in our identity in Christ. That's what we want for our kids. I'm not just trying to teach my son and my my daughters. I that you just need to be tough and sticks and stones can break your bones but words don't hurt words hurt for sure what we're trying to do is give them a deeper foundation a more more solid foundation which is who cares what people say not because you're tough but because look what God says about you. This is your identity you were holy. You are chosen. You're delighted lied in because he loved you. Not because of anything you can accomplish. And then when they get out into the real world and thing people say hard things you can just be like. Yeah that's maybe. My Book was three out of five stars or maybe my podcast does kind of soccer. Whatever but this is what God thinks of me and it's not going to rattle me to my core going to be depressed for the next ten days or be chasing fifty different jobs and careers? Because I'm looking for my identity because this is who I know I am so anyway come go ahead. I'm sorry I'm rambling a bunch. No it's okay I was just I was thinking we're talking about how when Like a child is raised in such a way way that their identity is shaped by their father for good or bad Like what do you do then when you find yourself a thirty year old dad yourself self and you are just Kinda just confused about your identity and Don't always feel like do you are who got called you to be do feel like that kind of that child. Wouldn't you think of Your Dad. You just I don't know maybe heart starts pounding and you're angry or you're you feel sad or like all those so interesting how you know. I'm I'm thirty five now and I'm like I can think about my dad and just start weeping you know and Like what do we how do we. How do we move forward? How do we like find our identity now? I think not that this isn't isn't the answer like to just solve that but I hear for somebody. That's still struggling with it. Here's what I'm telling myself One thing is he's just knowing that the motivation behind majority of what I do is chasing identity because of the lack of presence that my dad had that alone is helpful just to like be able to put words and tie connections there. Start identifying some of your behaviors as like why am I. What's my real motivation here? Oh it's because I'm just trying to figure out. Am I worth something. So that's helpful by itself. The other thing is my my heart longs for the day as we talk about Rosa revelation. Where there will be no more tears and nor pain more sickness like this? These are all sickness pain hurting and Jesus will one day make that all new. I think we get glimpses of Heaven here. On Earth Praise God the Kingdom of Heaven is invading fading Earth at this very moment and so there are moments of healing for me. I will sit and be like man. I don't have to chase that because this is what God has done in. This is who he says I am but I will always care. There will be holes or ruts that I will die with And and in that time my heart longs for Jesus to make things right again one day. I can't win for spouses. I think it's important to just like I don't know if he's still call like Gospel each other but like when you start like for me for example not having heard a lot of words for my dad I always was wondering like does he love me you know he never ever ever said I love you like I don't I can't I try and remember and I don't know if I fabricate a memory or two here and there but I don't remember we're hearing it and certainly I'm quite positive I've never heard him say I'm proud of you and so now Sometimes you can project those things onto God as your father and an and sometimes I do wonder like am i. Am I making God proud. I don't even know if that's like a right question but like wondering. Would God say he's proud of me like you know. This is layla with whom I'm well pleased like doubtful. All ever hear those words you know and like just having somebody to kind of remind you like what is actually true about God and like what are some things that are maybe it just hurts from your own childhood or just you just projecting like who your earthly father was and you're projecting that onto your heavenly father and it kind of teasing those apart and Yeah I also wanted to say as we're talking the wives That I said this on a podcast. I was a guest on this week but for the wives listening. Just want you to know that your it more than like probably your your your husband's friends more than his bosses more than really maybe anyone else you carry such power in the things that you say to your husband and your husband Most likely is walking around with a lot of those holes or ruts in his life because he didn't have a dad say everything regardless of how awesome is dad is. He's got dad wounds somewhere. He's somewhere on the scale and the things that you say to your husband Carey deep deep weight. And there's many men who just need to hear from maybe their wives that babe art if for a wife to say a bear on proud of you you have what it takes and even if you don't accomplish anything your loved like the was just saying to Gospel each other to to sit like this is who God says you are and you don't need to chase after things like you don't have to prove yourself in this family you don't have to prove yourself in this marriage or to our kids you just deeply loved by God and we love you and most importantly like God loves you based on who. You are not anything you can accomplish. Those words wives like we'll we'll carry deep deep. Wait for your husband's and again I think there are a lot of husbands who are kind of walking around there. The problem solvers in the family. They're tough they're strong. They're whatever but man there's Oh boy under their who's wounded and they may just need to hear from you wife to say like to tell them the words the truth of the Scriptures the truth of the Gospel that they never heard from down so that's my encouragement to the wife's. I'll just end here by saying this again like Dad. You'RE GONNA BE MESSED UP UP. Your kids are going to have wounds. All of our kids are going to have wounds one way or another regardless of how we do at this because we're human and were sinful and were broken and we're going to hurt them in some way And they're gonNA carry that for their whole life but would we be parents who hold hold up a mirror to our kids and as they look in it we just point and say this is who God has made you to be so that as they go Out into the world again. We're not just creating like tough kids. Were creating kids who really were not creating kids or encouraging kids. Who really can go back to the truths of the Gospel that their loved? Not because you have the biggest numbers God said are your anything special on earth but you are loved because God loved you. That's it God loves you and your loved and delighted in by the God of the universe and I think when we do that we helped set our kids up for success. So they they don't they don't turn into confused adults who like many of us run around the whole their whole lives searching for identity and searching undefined worth. I hope that's helpful. Leyla thank you for hanging now. I know you're exhausted. It's been a crazy week or so grateful that because listen again if you give to. The Dad Tired Ministry. That's going to go to these conferences into our ministry for next year helpless. Lower the costs you get a free signed book out of it. We'll send that to you and you'll also be entered into win a two hundred fifty dollars Amazon Gift Card to pay for Christmas gifts for Christmas this year. We love gas. Thanks for listening to you later

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BONUS: Dad Tired KIDS

Dad Tired

07:51 min | 7 months ago

BONUS: Dad Tired KIDS

"How's it going guys? Welcome back to the DAD. Tired podcast. I'm your host Lopes. Join me every Monday as we dive into what it looks like to be men who fall in love with Jesus and help our families do the same. You can learn more about our books. Resources conferences and even online community going to dad tire dot com. Let's dive into today's episode. All right guys. We'll welcome back. We have a bonus episode today. This is not a normal day that we would release an episode. And it's not a normal episode We are in the midst of a quarantine as you know. You're probably home with your kids listening to this. So I have a special guest. Somebody that's never been on our data show before may introduce to you for the very first time weighing in at sixty pounds soaking wet four foot. Three I have no idea what you are. My son allies yellows hate. But how are you how are you? I'm good let me just this microphone. Voice Don get areas. That's good heritage's me and Elijah Elijah and I I in Elijah the two of us. We should probably work on some grammar this week. we had this idea to since we've been stuck in the house. It's only been like three days and we're already at the top of our Getting a little antsy so we had this idea where we thought we would have. Families data hired families memorize scripture together. one verse a week for however many weeks were in this whole thing and And so Elijah tell them a little bit about how this whole thing is going to work. What's the first thing that people need to do? So the first thing you WanNa do is memorize What the verse. We're GONNA give you so. Let's tell them what verse. It is. What I do they memorized this week. Joshua one nine Joshua one nine They won't be able to see this because this is a podcast so they can't see us. Should we read it for him? So the verse Joshua One nine says have a now commanded. You be strong encourage courageous courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not discouraged for the Lord. Your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua one not. That's right okay. So that's the verse. We're GONNA work on this week again. It says I have not commanded. You be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged for the Lord. Your God will be with you wherever you go. Just real quick dude. What do you think that means? What do you think God was saying there? What does he wants to hear? Well I think it means that you shouldn't be afraid. Whatever you like run through and like I think God is always going to be with you so you don't have to worry and don't be afraid that's perfect. That's exactly what he's saying Is it kind of scary times? Some people kind of afraid right now with everything going on. Yes so it's it's it's easy to like watch the news and sometimes we watch the news and it's like Oh man that's kind of scary but we see God's say hey have I not commanded you be strong. Be Courageous courageous meets means have courage. Courage do not be afraid And do not be discouraged for the Lord. Your God will be with you wherever you go so we know even if we don't know what's ahead of us we know that God is always with okay. So that's the first thing we want everyone to memorize this verse. Verse will be memorizing together as a family this week. And then what's the second thing that they need to do? They need a Posted posted take video. And then what did take a video of your kid reading it. I mean memorizing it and You posted to dead tired kids so we created this group. We have a. We have a facebook group for normally for dad tire. Dad's but we created a dad. Tired Kids Group. So if you go to dad or if you go on facebook and you search dad tired kids and we'll put a link in the show notes here so you can click on that but you we've already got a bunch of people in this group already in their kids already started to work on this so if you're not in there yet jump in there. Today is Wednesday March Eighteenth So we'll have all week for the kids to take videos. And do you have a facebook now? I'll probably get grounded. Yeah if you ever get any kind of social media at all you will be grounded for life and if I did. I don't really know who I would have on facebook. I wouldn't really have anyone 'cause kids don't go to facebook and parents do but like I would just be going into facebook so it'd be kind of weird if you had to count and you're like adding people's parents 'cause you never know who's out there that's right that is exactly right so kids won't be able to probably don't have a facebook but we're going to ask the DADS to If you're listening to this take video of your kids only posted on the DAD tired kids group. It's a closed group for just the data listeners. And their kids but that way we can see all the other kids who are practicing this first together So upload the video of your child or children Sane this verse by memory and then And then what's the third thing that they need to do? What happens at the end of the week next week from now? What are we gonNA do when we look through? All these videos. I WanNa see the videos and we're GONNA see all the people who memorize the all the kids who memorized it and we're GONNA put all their names in This hat that and we're GONNA whoever gets picked out will be the winner and whoever's the winner will get a prize is it like while they win a new will we ship them Pencil No because they would not be happy with all the work they've done in basically something not could be that fun like putting all that work and you just want to Pencil So should we make huge like a house where they were in the house? No because they WANNA get to keep it for their selves. It's true and probably would be hard to ship a whole entire house just something smaller but like in between that kind of maybe a Lego set or something really fun. An art set or a Lego set. Boys girls anyone can enter into this and do this but we'll find a bunch of cool prizes and then we'll pick one winner every single week that we're all in this quarantine so again number one memorized. Joshua one nine we are using the NFC. Virgin you can use whatever version you'd like version Memorized Joshua one nine. Secondly go on the data kids facebook page and uplift upload The video of your child or children saying by memory can. Are they allowed to cheat? Like if you can have a bible behind the camera because if we saw the Bible behind the camera than knew for sure wouldn't get the price you got to memorize ak like do put in the work bro. So put in the work. Memorize it. You've got a week to do it. We recommend maybe doing a sentence a day and you should have it memorized. No problem and then Wednesday we will all these names and pick a name out and somebody will get to win a prize. We will go to the store before that. Pick out some really cool prizes ship. It out to you if shipping. If the post office is still open we will definitely get it out to you which we hope and believe that post offices will still be open all right. So that's your challenge for this week. Memorize averse as a family. Say By memory upload it and hopefully you get chose mic over. The Dad Tired Kids facebook group. Thanks for hanging out today.

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Season 2, Episode 10  Shes a Dad Mama Jama

Bad To The Dad

46:41 min | 1 year ago

Season 2, Episode 10 Shes a Dad Mama Jama

"If you're the kind of dad who says you know what ask your mom then this is the podcast for you. We are bad to the data and we are the podcast that celebrate suburban dad life whether you are in the Pepe big phase or coaching literally or working on cars or sharing your first beer with your son or daughter we are in fact the podcast for you you along with coach Randy. My name is Adam de we are bad to the dad and we thank you the listener for joining us for another wonderful podcast with a subject. Matter is as you. It's Dad's and coach. I am dealing this week with the ecstasy and the agony. Would you like me to explain. You sound like that old commercial from. ABC member was the ABC commercial. where it's the These are the guy the The the guy coming down the The the commercial. ABC The network the network ABC sports the agony of defeat. Whoa yes the Thriller Thrill of victory and the agony of defeat dipping feet? So let me give you my thrill of victory. Agony of defeat bringing a thrill of victory is my gorgeous daughter. Hurry all fourteen years old of her. Got Her braces off this week. So here here is the small victory. I get yeah now teenage girl attitude. There's less that silver sheen. Now actually see the whiter teeth and Perry. We're we're so proud of you. You handled it for the last almost two years as a as a champ. She must be very excited. It's a thrill bizarre czar sensation when you get those things on bought she last night we celebrated a botched. Here's how you celebrate birthdays and graduations. Apparently that's what you do when you get your braces abrasives off. Yup here's the agony. It is November it is November. Temps are moving. Down was a little coal. Look now I have this sort of code food where I wear shorts metoo till I really have to switch to. GM was human. We're doing this broadcast. Both of us will eat. Short is Jordan every second it is about thirty six degrees outside. But I'm more insurance. We're wearing shorts. I'm fearful that next week when we have this conversation. We're both bee gees. We you might be. We might be unless it's a little bit warmer. I don't know you know who does their work. Amazingly regardless of snow Sleet low temperatures. Doesn't matter who let me guess Becky burn my goodness coach. You are on yeah with a vengeance. What can you tell us about becky burn? Berman is our sponsor. Berman CIS DOT COM Berman branding. She helped create our logo. She's out there. Graphic design website design. She's amazing she's a pro. She is a pro. I know someone that tap into dot net network. They have several editions throughout North Jersey. Local news done right and many of the articles many of the columns like the one we do for bad are done by members of the community. So thank you Jessica. Thank you Danielle. For turning this on to tap into dot net and of course we are posted in West Orange and Livingston in Bloomfield and Westfield oh the surrounding towns but from North to south throughout New Jersey. There is local news that is featured for you the list and we have an article coming out about us. I can't wait to see from Don. I can't wait to see that to cut it out. I'm going to frame it. We're going to post it on social media which by the way if you WANNA follow us. Please do instagram at. Yep facebook will we get ready to it is Ford Slash facebook and of course our website that to the dead dot com on where you can see pictures of all the behind the scenes activity with our guests or with our guest just You coach Randy and Adam de doing what we do best every week and that of well. Of course we have the keychain always gotta talk about the key chain not just any keychain the Swiss army knife of keychains. It opens doors if your keys on it. It opens bottles absolutely as a matter of fact. Great Story My Daughter's gym teacher. Mr Vital Mr by not Dick vitel believable table baby daddy there could be a relation dote. Now it's up so her. Pe Teacher Netter School started listening. So thank you Mr Vital for listening to Hugh Mr T.. Comes into school tells Michaela. Love Your Dad. PODCAST bad the DAD. So what I do. I give a Keychain to you my daughter to give to him and what does he do he comes back. He gives her three dollars for our charity. For Great Fun I might not necessarily necessarily. He insists give hollows for to give towards charity for Greg Fithe four Haymakers for hope. Which of course is the fight? That's going to be happening at the Hammerstein Ballroom November fourteenth. That's of course New York City. It's great five whose daughter Jolie endured a bout with Kimia and won and won and what naughtily. Nice job. Nice job. You're an inspiration greg. You're in this variation fourteenth which is coming up in just a couple of weeks. He is going to be stepping into the ring with currently some fifty fifty year old chiseled dude. WHO's got some nutrition company? I'm in the best of luck. I I'm curious. I'm curious how it comes out. I believe in him in my money still against him if he takes one punch and he raises money and awareness for pediatric leukemia. He has done his job. So we thank you greg for all of the the work that you're doing doing. Hey speaking of guests greg was a guest. We were supposed to have our good friend. Keith gromit yes on. The broadcast workout. Didn't work that we had a scheduling issue. And that is it's okay. We still love Keith. We're looking forward to having him back on the program and a future date so coach Randy Adam de we are dedicated to inviting a show every week responsibility. It is our dedication commitment to the people our listeners to have a podcast all about the people's it's all about the listener so this week of course are episode is called is Dead Mammal jammed. Why mammoth jam? Because we're having our wives I'm you know what it was bound has been. They've been driving US crazy. We found today's being the best day to have our spouses on. So we've got the lovely Jessica Jessica Nathan. Yep The lovely Michelle Shetler the Horon as our guest telling a few stories and believe me. There are multiple podcasts. That could be aired yet. Yeah about our wives telling stories about us but we gotta start somewhere. And we're going to do that today today with Dad Mammoth Jenna. Dad Manage coach. It's First of all I I know baseball season just ended heartbroken. Because Amb baseball season ends. You May as well hibernate or me. Nothing else seven games. Though we got seven games I was great world series congratulations to the Washington nationals. Now our families have been nationals park together to great bar. Great Place to see the great ballgame as a great ballpark mark. I gotTa tell you I was kind of excited for the nationals. I mean I really was. I really felt for me when I when as a baseball fan the way I'd do. It is an Ivy Yankees Fan as I focusing on the AOL east except the Red Sox. I cannot remember Red Sox the Yankees. Then there's the American League which would be the astros because my feeling is if you lose the Astros and the Astros win the Yankees would have a chance to win the world series right but I got to tell you what. What a series? Well you know coach. I live in a house. Full of mets fans houseful met fans and I was surprised they wanted to the nationals. Twitter number one because we go to some nationals game with for July more in DC go see the nationals but they wanted to see the nationals win because Bryce Harper was no on the to- figure a met fan to see A team within divisions still win without their star. Yeah yeah they're like ha ha kids are spiteful the little bits by they take up personally and you know what there wasn't anybody on the nationals. who wasn't lovable? Well what I love especially as a coach I coach softball is being. We'll talk to players and say you got to make the playoffs. It's all about making the playoffs. Once you get to the playoffs spot holly peaked at the right time who they beat on my God. They'd be they when they beat. The brewers ROHR's dollar dodgers. They go into the the Astros or seven owned him on the road on the road they one was on the road and heard what an unusual world series and yet par and I think a few more baby shark but an amazing like all of these really tough batters get up to the plate and their walk up. Music is Latin music because there's a lot of guys from Latin America or it's heavy metal or it's country. It's hard rock rap band here. Baby Baby Shark power baby show do know it was. It was a lot of fun in what I love about the life lesson. You can draw from that just in terms of come together as as a team and there's something about baseball when you watch these guys win and they act like kids the act like kids and it's so amazing. Just I love the fact that youthfulness the exuberance really reminds you like to be a coach. Let's talk about sports that nobody watches. which was that all right so you know? Football Bowl is on on Sundays. On all the major negative football this season I get it. You're broncos or having a rough year my jets under a child under remember the Eric Ball Tacoma instead of high hopes for the jets. The Not so much not so. This is the beauty of being a jet fan when your expectations are low. Yeah never so. Here's here's the thing. I tend to do a lot of catch up work on Sunday. Okay and I'll have the football on in the background so generally that's on CBS. Okay and it's on Fox and it's on NBC at night off and Collingsworth absorb you gotta go with. I met him at an airport. I thought he was a lovely got. Lovely Guy cannot stand we talking regardless so we know that on Sunday afternoons football is on on the major network. Yes have you ever flipped to. ESPN the N. ESPN to any of the ESPN's on a Sunday afternoon when football is going on on the beach networks. I cannot say that I have coach Mhm you gotTa do it really. There was a time when it was only the Professional Bowling Association. Yeah all right okay and you for some reason all right. The the football goes to a commercial you flipped. ESPN you're watching bowling. You have no idea why you're watching bowling now. ESPN has expanded their horizons. CSPAN THE OCHO right any of the ESPN three four seven ten is a lot of ESPN so there was a time where they would show poker poker. Never thought is a sport but apparently. ESPN does so. I was working on a certification that I'm going for that's right. You're almost Sunday absolutely it's done. It's done lava cup. Yeah thank you but I'm not talking about this to blow smoke on my own skirt. I WANNA blow smoke up keep blowing the smoke. I am amazed at what. ESPN is willing to show while football is going on in the major networks flip. ESPN the other day right. Yeah cornhole championships cornhole champion. You and I have played cornhole on the beach in the Outer Banks. Yes let's be very clear cornhole. The game were involves with beanbags throwing into it's an on an elevated board it's angle risks and you got to get into the whole. Apparently there's a competition. I thought that the only object of the game of Cornhole was to get the bean bag in the hole just point he can hold a beer in your left hand and still play the game outside. Apparently there's a whole cornhole league Weirdo that there are all of these people that live somewhere that have developed a mastery of Cornhole and have technique in baseball. There's knuckle ballers dollars. Apparently there's like over hander flippers. And incor- home and there's all these rules the role is just to get back in the hall in the hole in the. Hello you still get points for getting the beanbag on the board really get points on the board and there are around where nobody gets points. Because in that round you have a neutral Amana appoints. Nobody gains points and apparently you can lose poise. There's like knockouts I. It was a whole education for me. What an opportunity attorney for you? Another day another Sunday it was the Darts Championship. We're talking about games that we play in bars art come on stop putting this on. ESPN lightly Jabbar by has has dark contact us. You five foot five guys away. Two hundred and eighty pounds playing darts. I did not know that. And apparently there's all there's all kinds of different different dark games. I did not know that. Not just about trying to hit the bullseye but you have to hit different Different parts of the boards. Like you gotta gotTa hit the ten. You gotta hit the eight and the game's not over until you get the ten or the eighth. This is what happens when you have free time. And you're watching football and I'm just trying to pack all this. There's the sports. I never considered being sports but apparently are now on. ESPN and but these are games. That guys like you and I play. We don't have the have you saying that. Maybe you and I need to begin to think about. Maybe creating a cornhole team accord whole team would we we got it. Yeah I think we gotta work. CONOR game would be our teammate. Well I mean there's so much double entendre. We just the fact that the game has called Cornhole. And can you tell yourself as a absolutely think about think about the past. That's what I'm saying. The cornhole ideas really just remark. I know sixteen seventeen seventeen guys in our neighborhood that would love to be on this team. We may have to have a try. We'd have to droughts and purely figured out and take it really serious and begin to we we got the train. Well before we do that. We have to put a lawn door. We are bad to the dead It just as yeah. We are bad to the DAD. You can follow us on social media. Instagram bad to the dad of course our website is bad to the dead dot com in when we feel like facebook book that's forward slash bad to the dad. We have a Keychain keychain that not only opens bottles but open stores if you put keys on it and if you use it as a bottle title opener segue knowledge it opens bottles and then you said use it as a bottle opener. Just reaffirming what you absolutely you do that got got my back. I got your back. Yes so glad you're here. I'm glad you're here. Yeah we're back to the dead with coach Randy and Adam de different kind of show not not what we expect it but it's all good. It's we're going off the board on and you know what that's the beauty of our show. Yes we want you the listener to have a show so we're not giving up so Gosh Josh Darn it. We're going to have people on the show that we're going to interview like Sam Haley Right. I have no idea what you're talking about. So wouldn't you know these people were available. Oh and they are wives the Lovely Jessica Nathan and my beautiful wife. Michelle Chen welcome to the show. Frequent listeners are you one of the one hundred every week every so often Monday morning. It's how I get to work. I I am behind a couple of episodes of ruining better. Do you have to do than listen to the band to the PODCASTS. With your husband your sister wives husband take care of you. That is a big to do. Yeah biggest taking care of you. That's how it's GonNa could be. It's hard when you're when you're drager like us she'll be at the ground was before we begin our just jump right into. I like to think they've listened to enough podcast that they know how this works. You're talking about with each can't say how much how much we should be whispering. Yes yeah this may have been a bad idea. The might have been. I'm feeling positive. We're going to give our listeners. A show to remember Jessica. Let's start with you. Okay why did you pick this one. Were there others at the shop. Can we say that for a different show. No no because we're not going to have you on again after this week as he's hoping down time this trip flags there's no timeouts we go all out. Edit that out considered it out. Why did I choose Randy? Oh that's a loaded question you know. I remember When time life books put out their series about Vietnam and his other yes it was a conflict? It wasn't necessary to hear advertising. Say Vietnam A question a child might ask. Yeah not a childish question exactly right. So why Randy question but certainly a childish question Russian. Yes so randy and I met when I was younger because that's how that works. There's twelve years younger still. There's twelve years difference age difference between us. I love how passionate he was dedicated. He was he was already a father at that point in watching him with his kids when I might step children USA qualities. I don't really see any reason so that was a long time ago but I just love who he was as a father as a person he really feels field very deeply. He's incredibly dedicated to the things that he cares about. And I knew that when we got together it'd be the same with us. Wow when you see him as a father and you say well he's awesome. What are those things that he's doing aside so there's a lot you know there's some things that If there's one thing that I say randy exceeds all expectations it's at being father. He's got four incredible kids. He has been as dedicated to the first one as he is to the fourth one He will do anything he can. He feels their pain. He celebrates their success. Is He tells them that he loves them. He's proud of them and he is just so completely completely dedicated to every single one of his children no matter where they are no matter who they are and he just he he loves them with every single ounce of his being. That's a lot of machinist true. My wife here turban beer no chance investment. Now that was that was very nice. That was true. I actually actually no which is going to say it's your funeral we're going I. You better hope a lot of things that you know randy it has been called by you or by other people's Yes many but dad is definitely his motives titles so that's exceeds That I'm glad we're that was very nice. That was a good bucket filler. You just filled my bucket and your thank you so this is like an affirmation talk cult. It is stuart smalley remarried to ready. Because I am buried sooner yes I am I am very needy. I'm very needy. We know all right really known was no. It's totally uncalled for. So gladys right so so Michelle when you were shopping for a pair of shoes and you're looking for a pair of shoes. I E A man for your life. How did you stumble upon an Adam de go at that announced two shoes? Yeah you tried a few pairs of shoes on. Yeah how did you know he was right fit. I didn't not in. I saw through my own admission and through Adams storytelling. I barely knew if he was hitting on me barely paid attention really the first time we met Hutomo more. Yeah remember what you were doing when I did. I was If I remember correctly I was the designated driver for my friends. Yes out at a bar and so I just gone out. An atom came to the bar with his friends. We'll do you remember. Yes the four piece in Washington. DC The four P.. mylar will the Peace Dan for provinces do you know the four provinces of Ireland. I guess I do not okay. I'll tell you what any listener out there that knows the four provinces of Ireland. EMS and you'll get a teaching they get a key the chain for the four P.'s. Marble donate three dollars. Two Great Fides Haymakers for hope were probably in ninety seconds on the cat. So we love him forward Greg. So you're in DC at the four. PS and you're the dozen driver and he walked in and was chatting with. He knew some people that I was with. And so we were chatting and then we went Out For to a diner after yes and we sat next to each other is where I tried to get my game on and I really wasn't paying attention. You were paying attention. I think number number what you were doing. Hey I am the one asking the questions years. And he's still on strike at the time. But I wasn't. I was trying to balance a salt shaker at one piece granules of salt. You're trying to balance. It was like a trick somebody taught me and I was trying to do. And meanwhile he is trying to cover you. Apparently it was a again. I don't think it doesn't take much to me. I figured if she could balance a salt shaker out. It's so she can. Hudson gets worse though because we just find he finally asked me out planned our first. Stay as we missed each other. We couldn't find each other on the streets of DC. I went home. He went home and this was before like cellphones. and He. You did right around the time we're cellphone. We went across the street from each other. But we couldn't find each other on the street but at his way let let me over. was I went home to Maryland. He went home to Virginia. He called me and then he drove about forty minutes long enough to have some drinks with me later that night about drinks dinner and drinks. Yeah that's where it ended ended that night. But but here's the thing and I'm still baffled by in your mind. Goes so baffled by this. I said I said they work at a seventeen seventeen Pennsylvania Avenue which is about a block from the White House. I said said meet me in front and you said is that the building where the Charles Schwab is which is at the end of the street the street though it was across across the street but attach the same building and for some reason. You heard Charles Schwab stand in front of Charles Schwab and I was in front of seventeen seventeen so we were like make fifty Dr retailer embarrassing. There's a slight chance eight. That's that's good at least three days. One hundred hundred listeners. which picked up two hundred hundred downloads? WORKED OUT IT eventually. Should I do. Yeah we both couple. This year celebrated our seventeenth absolutely absolutely. And and so what is it about Adam. Adam that you enjoy in Tripoli his rollers and being a father so the machinists that Jessica talked about the same but I think just that you make us laugh laugh. You make the kids laugh so much and you bring them into your jokes appropriate or not inappropriate but I remember at our wedding the Rabbi said. I just make sure that Atta makes you laugh. And that's what he does and to the kids to he just makes us laugh all day. Hard work so beautiful. Yeah I and I tell you I have a a much. I've always had great appreciation for for Michelle. Now you know that I'm the one that usually does the traveling and do a lot of traffic. Yeah probably once a month. I'm on the role of the place. We'd had like a Bizarro Week. Last week we're show was traveling for work. I was home Mr Mall Recipe weekend recipe for all right so sweet so so Michelle's Outta town she's gotTa Work Your right in another time zone and other times. And so you're you're Mr Dad. Your Adam d Mister Mom right so why we refuse to have Witnesses so well I think And this may sound petty but one of the things I really appreciate about. Michelle is She walks the dog first thing in the morning right five. The clock in the morning stayed here at five o'clock in the morning. Yes among among other things and sniff the flowers etc euphemism for other the things. So that's GonNa wake up like a half an hour earlier and I gotta I gotTa walk the dog. You'RE GONNA well so I'm not just taking care of the kids. I'm walking the dog. That's a big responsibility right right right so I think the kids are now at an age. Where they're they're mostly self sufficient? They probably need a nudge there freshman high school. You've got a sixth grader in middle school. Yeah it actually very good in her own. We don't have to do anything. Shutout to period for being kit braces off braces operations so slavery. Her teeth what did you teach felt slavery slippery and slammed all at once slavery. You'll have to ask our next time. You have her on a that of. That'll stay in the back in the cutting room floor basement tapes. Yes as it were so so the dog the dog yeah. Yeah and then there's that whole Coordination once they're at school or at school. I'm at work. There's that whole coordination afterwards of WHO's picking up. And what activities did they have to be at so they say it takes a village or it takes a village idiot. Yeah and all the co-parenting that goes on with all of your friend. Of course my folks. Sir Town nearby Rancho Machine. But you're always walking hour on the hour at work okay. It's almost it's three o'clock so your kids read pretty much. Think they were still texting and calling me while I was away. I I the phone calls at work from the girls. Ask Brandy their foam three of them. I am phone call or text. That's message where are the sneakers. Where is this? I'm not even home to look for it and guess what I thought that every time eh intersil sense goes I. Yeah so here you are. You're by yourself. Data's been done with. Yeah you're at work now. It's after school asks. What at a certain age certain age that kids get to high school middle school really? The biggest stress point Wayne is now the homework and I will tell you something coaches. I can't do the homework. No no no. You're not smarter than a sixth grader. That smart little insider attack it. Camila advised ill-advised thing I did with Aidan. Yes it was my six Six grade yes. That's why I said you're not smarter than the sixth grader. So we dropped Perry off at some youth group ripping okay and while route eight and said I know I have homework to do. But why don't we go out for dinner I said. Why don't we do the homework at dinner and Multi House there you go get workings? At one time. We go the loudest most distracted. Julius honor no the the Buffalo Wild Waves Zor game on is there a game same series. It's the opening night of the NBA. Bears are some cricket match on Pakistan. All kinds of odd bowling calling who decided to wild wing did and I sent me. That's ADHD kick said. prising Lee he was super focused. Not We're doing this math homework. There's charts and fractions and multiplication within those fractions. They're not my best game out. You're not my best game. So he's doing the homework and he'll look at it and he goes dad. You know what do you think ago I said. Why don't you do the problem? I and I will reply whether it looks good enough and he does the problem. Yeah and I said you know what looks pretty good idea no idea. It's right evolving. God help me actually Michelle Mom. I need some help. That has has no clue we all under the table. What are you doing texting work K.? By squared No you didn't tell them about the night before where okay so adam called me that morning and says yeah eight. It had a tough time sleeping. He couldn't couldn't really sleep. He was up from his bed a lot. He ended up sleeping in our bed. Why why the night before? Adam takes them to starbucks at nine o'clock at night great call. Aw I didn't realize how much was in this dossier strawberry drink. I thought it was just like a lemonade. Walk me why did you take them to starbucks. 'cause they asked and told him it was a bad idea. You still you're a batch of the dead but now now now we never happened. But you're away. I heard this term stable percent woke. Yeah no I I I have to be honest. My wife right jess she big birthday coming up. Yes right. We're not get mentioned a number but it's is a big one much younger than me but still big one. Well leaving leaving this Wednesday night and can be back on Saturday today. I think I can handle it. Don't go to starbucks for Buffalo Wild and now no no buffalo wild wings director noticed next the dog and the pleasure. Dano where you have five o'clock in the morning we're on to give her to me and come back the dog geriatric I gotTa tell you. I wouldn't be surprised. If on the nights in the bedtime they might end up sleeping in the same bed that I don't think the dogs the dogs have you sleeping in the den. Yes girls everybody. We'll just have everybody together. It will be one big happy party. Take pictures that is what you've always said. This goes back to our original shows. Adam what is the most important job in this country. Mom is number one number one and you know a number two is right yesterday. A few times leaving verizon guy who cleans Danube Arizona. I think there's probably a few guys. He's not just one. I don't know if he's up there. I think there's a few people and then there's anyone who works in a coal mine and I told no date night. We just watched a video of about a guy who broke his back in a coal mine in the sun had to quit school in order to go into the coal mine and make money for the family. I said see. It's not easy and that's my mom. That's why you go to the School of Education and then you have the military you had first responders putting policemen awesome and firemen and your ems. You have your nurses. I'm an visit nurses home health aides any any other position where there is. There's heavy list and had a top fifty but but mom beyond but mom's so listen you've been part of the show frank. You had a tremendous about. He'd been so so talkative in terms of what you've shared hard to get into the you agree to this pretty much our lives together when the four guys sir altogether. So what are you saying now. I love your relationships. Ochoa hurt like Hashtag relationship goals really. You're happened here. Look at but I've had my sister out of it so we've got a happy think on here I can't I can't lift my life. That's a little weird. I'm the other way you're talking about. It's showtime after dark pumped. How `bout from let's see how far he'll go with this? I always make always make music noises every every weekday. That's part of my stuff right so he usually has to be call dad vice right dead by so we have dad's offering advice for other dads right. We want you to offer mad by S- Mhm Mom says Momma adds yes vice mom vice right. About what kind of advice can you give. Dad's yeah what kind of actually we give dad's based on your experiences moms that dads need to know to be helpful for my guess. Yes in already off. The table is. Don't take them starbucks. Yes so do homework and Buffalo Wild Wings. Don't feed them after midnight and don't get the guy that's always the move that's always with the eighties movies. So what advice. So we're giving it to dad. Two dads listen. We don't listen. We know that of Georgy of our listeners are jets. It's a listen to the mom we'd hold on let's via right so today is to listen to the mom. So what you're saying is to listen. That's what that's like. It's an easy he just out. Doesn't it Tounsi where you would think it would work. Because I've been listening to that advice. I've been trying to adhere to it realistically. Not that easy. I listen. I listened to the MOM. Yes and yet here I am doing a podcast about no troubling the experience of being a dad love it you know and my advice would be kind of the same as Jessica but listen to the mom but I think also Listen to you guys be could become equals lake lake up. There was a time where I was traveling a ton and I would be okay leaving because we do the exact same things. It's all equal balanced in our family. If I'm gone on aiding Adam could do it if Adams I could do it so you know. Listen to listen to each other so that you could balance each other out and I and I think just to piggyback on that is also have united front. Yeah when it comes to your kids back. You can't. Have you know if mom says no out of Shabat If I know about starbucks so I think because kids can learn pretty easy pretty early on that they can play one against against the other and I think as long as you co parent and you have each other's backs. I think that the your children will respect you. Both and then Then you can very very easily entertained. Who's there because the expectations are the same? Regardless of WHO's I get I get the United Front I didn't realize we were equal. That's just realized thank you. Are I want a mess about you. Sweetheart compressors are we equal. We're GONNA find out when she goes away. My that would be on equal because I know if I'm away this. This guy took his kids to starbucks caffeine equal my insight I was equally good. Plus what else they recommend you. You don't want the original deadpool which I think we have a very very equal division of Labor. You know I do I do I think that is fair to say okay. They're equal division of Labor by plugs. Then take out the trash and I I fixed up. Yeah all right and I do all the other things exactly that is equal. We have rehab gas bugs around here. If you live in West we have these. Little bugs relate little centipede like like this big and ebbs they scream. I commit the bugs. Do your kids kids okay. The kids and the wife I can let what I big J Norma's Ah come at night. Yes yes and I may or may not have woken him up to kill them several times. Wake me up no but I I mean truly randy but when it comes to being a father he's just so good at it that it doesn't come naturally to him. I don't need to tell them what to do. We are equal well. He is so good with it. Wished his kids come out well but it's true. I mean but that Super League will know where our limitations lie truly. Randy is really really good at helping. All of the kids like in a crisis or when something is not going as planned I. I'm I'm good with the logistics. The logistical I'm getting that from one place to another are all the remembering that has to happen days. They need lunch. What do they need to break the schools and truly and so two saying we're equal? I think I think we both charon equal Lola but I think that the load is different for. I love loads I love I love you. Expect eighteen you because you talked about loans my goes there. We'll talk about. They're going to elevate this leads and so there's this bigger loads of books looks you know there's this book. Lean in by Sheryl Sandberg about how her and her late husband. They were very much on equal footing as far as the responsibilities. And I think a lot of couples like like hours strive to to lean in with their kids sharing responsibilities one travels the other takes care of them vice versa. But I do think think and this may sound. Sexist may not sound politically correct. I do think that even when you when you attempt to do that so much does lean on the. There's no there's no day. Do you feel that the mom takes on. There's there's a disproportionate amount of that burden. It'll take decades gates also. Margaret is more organized. That's for Damn sure you're much smarter. you're a much nicer. You're much prettier. You're you're much more chill You have much more patients. No I think I'm probably the shot but there are times when I'm probably a two and I need to get up in arms about all. La Those yeah but you know it's hard one at my side. I only know. But there's no doubt that I I'm going first because if my wife was to go I it would be a catastrophe you would be following right after visiting it would be a broken heart that would just being there are Jessica makes our family ticket makes it work and I love being a part of it but keep talking. I'll tell you I have made it very clear. No matter where I go. I one hundred Percent Jessica. My wife is the most incredibly markle human being in our lives and incredible mom wife best friend daughter. You name it and that I think i. There's there's no way I would figure out how to survive original. You looked like Tom. Hanks in Cast uh-huh oh Goodness Michelle I feel the same same way about that too. You know. You're the moral compass you keep everything together in the house Bottom line China's in this is an injustice. Because we're only using words couldn't do without you couldn't live without you. Bravo here here clap. So the dads out there. I would encourage you to sit down and talk to the boss to sit down and have a conversation like we just did with our Arwa. Otherwise I gotTa tell you you don't need to the microphone. Just have it in your living room. Although the microphone gives you some record of what you talked about this. We have proof later on in a divorce but that will work. Would you like to schedule a second. Just Nathan Michelle. Schindler are lovely wives. Thanks for everything you do. We are bad to the DAD. Download US wherever you find. PODCASTS Shays data including We are bad to the data again. You can follow us on social media at bad to the DAD. That is our instagram handle. Please follow our facebook account is sh ford slash bed to the debt you I know he did sound summarizes. That was not just at the. I love your hand movement to go through that what we were just at a botchy very very very inspired and then of course website is bad to the dead dot com. Oma Go to website that year two thousand years. You know what we're old school like old. y'All they don't have a website. Who are you? I gotTa have a website you have to even if it's just a placeholder you gotta have a website. Everyone has Megyn legit. You means you're in business. Yeah afford legitimate. We have a website and we also have entire page of shenanigans going to shenanigans. Check out our pictures. Check our guests. I think you're gonNA find them lovable. They are loveable. Lovable guys speaking of lovable yes. Our wives are outstanding. When a lot better than the placement it was well first of all all we are so blessed to have incredible wives? I thought we were GonNA get absolutely skewered. Yes the way we behave as husband as fathers but you know what I think we do a pretty good. I gotTa Tell You I was very touched but would just said about me. Yeah I was never told you that before. She has but but I guess in this kind of forum or you're talking about it it's validating you want to believe that you're a good husband. You're a good dad. But it doesn't hurt to hear about it. I thought I heard and some elements of that in your Fiftieth Birthday Party. I know my speech about your fifty. The party was about taking care of your prostate and I actually got you saw Palmetto capsules take care of my. He's still using the soft. Come absolutely date night coming up from my annual physical. We'll get a tap physical. Michael yes does it go. Beyond just the twenty minute physical it goes deal there will there be hoses and probes hit by they give you the full. They open up the WHO they go down deep and there's always the prostate the hood. It's like game the operation and I don't need the call. I did that a couple years ago. Yeah so I'm still good with that but those go at it up they'll tap into my Tap into my process all the details that I need coach. I'm glad you're talking about men's health. Yes because our next guest yes is going to be Perry Bash on. Tell me about period. Badr's Harry Basch Gov could be one of the coolest guests we've ever had could be. He works for all all of the social media platforms or has worked for some of the social media platforms. That we're all on and very cool job will learn about that when he's on but he does a lot of of work around Movember. Do you know about Movember. Well I've

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2020 Dad-a-Palooza: FATHERS DAY SPECIAL

Bad To The Dad

1:24:30 hr | 4 months ago

2020 Dad-a-Palooza: FATHERS DAY SPECIAL

"If. You're the kind of Dad who's piano, Matt and wants to rock and roll all night and party every day, but your kids think you're living on a prayer then. This is the podcast for you. We are bad to the DAD podcast celebrating suburban dad life right here on father's Day were doing it through music. This data, Palooza or musical celebration for DADS happy Father's Day to you, and for all of our listeners in France and we know you're out there because there's fourteen thousand of you at WHO's fit. The pair at WHO's at the pair. That's how you say it in French so bienvenue welcome to our French friends, I think we covered two of our major continents. Here wall of our listeners are my name is Adam. D I think if you're GONNA have a podcast and it's going to be about DAD's. You've got to have this guy coach. Randy but he's already taken, so get your own coach. Randy it's been a bit of an off season. A bit of a busy off season over thrilled to be back here doing our father's Day music celebration. How Ya doing I of D. It's always nice to be the you know that the we love Adam De. We Love Bad dad in. It's like being on a roller coaster. You know a everyone on kingdom before. Oh Yeah right there. I remember the anticipation of being on kingdom, Dukan watching people on it. Maybe get in. And at such back at legis throws you forward as fast as you can. Now if you're not careful like me I, close my eyes right and so it sounds like a quick ride. I opened my eyes when I thought was the right it was done. No, no, no, no, my friend, then. No, it was at the top. Watch it all coming back down, so I, like I've been on King Takover for like. About three months and I just opened my eyes like right after Mother's Day episode It's just been like all Health Brokos I. Think King Dakota for those of you who don't know. This is a roller coaster at great adventure in New Jersey Jackson. New Jersey for me the scariest part kingdom. Is Looking at the Guy Operating the ride. Just sort of you know kind of dealing with covert nineteen. I WanNa who's coming towards me. Are they wearing a mask? Look educated enough to be able to operate with some semblance. some social grace in this in this wacky time that we're living in. Yeah. I get it. I get the metaphor and I. Think you're. You're spot on my friend so happy Father's Day out of D. Happy Thought Assayed coach. Hopefully you've got some fun stuff plan. Other than listening to this wonderful celebration through music of Dad's father's Day's always one of my favorite days, especially that the first half hour where the gifts purchased at the school store. I'M GONNA. Get that this year collection I'm sure, but they don't. They didn't have the school store this year because we were all closed while there's this thing called Amazon, and yet it's enough and you know my expectations are are at this level and pretty high level of my Hebrew. It's above my actually it's I. It's I mean speaking of which I've noticed the growth. I. Think you're going back to you with those not quite as long as I. Remember seeing you in high school I. Think it's something to be proud of. You mean the super bad haircut yeah. Yes. My lovely wife Michelle God bless her she. was volunteered to come my hair because it was just. Too, crazy I figure. If I can tell her hair, she can cut mine, and it's only hair grows back in a heartbeat, so I thought she did a reasonably good job. That said I'm looking forward to June twenty second. When this on hair calorie opened up again because you know it's. Only symmetrical. kind of girl, but just the male version you know what I think is great with people cannot see is the talent that Michelle expressed demonstrates when she puts the a d. a. m. and a little space in. D- in the back of your head, so people know that you are then the Real Adam de. Yes, I just told her. Please draw the line at Mike Gang Colors Don't carbon. My gang colors the back of the neck. Yes, he's are very heavy and wild times coach remember the last time we left off. You said you were seeing some movies. Hope Elliot's. Yes we We just finished watching A. Guardians of the galaxy to. The second one, okay, so we are We have been movies left the next movie. Is Altron at the age. Yes age of Altron and then it's a captain America. Spider Man so we're we're moving along. It's It's fun. I gotTa Tell You love it. I I going back. These really are sensational movies. It's what's not to love I mean Marvel's printing money. They know how to do it. They know how to suck in and you know what the best part is. Eleven movies you got two and a half months I. Before what we think might be we'll. Be School. You know what I love is how they have these little. You know. Stanley has these little sporadic cameos and all these different movies. It's A. Sad now, of course, knowing that he passed, but the he just comes into these moments that it's just just genius the jeans and I love about Marvel, and of course. I, WANNA. Give a shout to my friend and our course bad the dead commentator in a big fan of ours A. Christie as He he you know He. He posted on his facebook. About what more movies are really about? You know it's it's about what we're talking about. Is this society in terms of immigration in terms of differences in terms of race in terms of whatever you're talking about power overpower. A everything that we are experiencing related directly to. a marvel movie, and if you don't get marvel movies, and what they're all about, don't get what's going on in this country now. That was the Stanley Way. Every Superhero had to be flawed yeah. Right there were going through all the same nonsense that we were going through bullying. Relationship problems have. You know whatever was going on a socially in our times. That'd be race whether that be the economy whether that be aliens invading. From outer space. You know so, that's my and how about you I'm correct? You have been busy doing your own. You're I. Think you're not certified podcast now. Is that Zenit? Certify -able podcast is definitely definitely the case so with the social media was at the your. Flight. This yet. That nets. That's really fascinating because they're. Like a whole profession that twitter created around marketing and making money twitter, so I recommend. If you're all board, you're looking for a new skill and you're like social media do twitter flight school. It's as easy as twitter flight school dot Com. They're not sponsoring us. They haven't given me any money. Learning quite a bit odd did a comedy show for the World Central Age was raise money raised about twenty seven hundred bucks, so thank you all. If you're bad to the dad listener and you tuned in to that zoom, slash facebook live program. It was a lot of fun. We're thinking about maybe doing it again at the end of June, so please visit the Adam de Chandler facebook page as well as bad to the DAD, and you'll get some more information about some newsstand upsets with that group of very charitable comedians was really just a joy working with everybody. And then like you. Watching some movies Kinda going back into the archives educating my son Aden about those films from the eighties, so to in particular that we saw recently one was teen Wolf. The original with Michael J. Fox Michael, J. Fox you. You have to remember. This was nineteen five. This was the peak of Michael. J. Fox's career is still running hard with family ties as Alex Keaton. And, he had just. Off The wave back to the future the original future. Team. Which of course is about a teenager coming of age driving, it's based on a true story from not mistaken. Young, boy, who discovers that he is aware, will finish today family genes. So. We realized watching this. At least Michelle and I grew up in that era. How ridiculous film this was! But watching it with my son, he was more concerned about the basketball related discrepancies, then the concept of a teenage boy becoming a Wolfman even. Though, my son's like well. You know the the character. Scott Walks into that championship game. Late so the Games already started, he comes late. He says I'm not going to do this. Teen Wolf I'm going to do this. A Scott. The Games already started, but then the next scene, which is a montage of course. Starts with a jump ball is like well if they already started the game, why are they doing a jump ball? Just because he walked into the room, I had nothing I'm like you're absolutely right. Literally basketball fans did not do not write this night when he shoots. Those two free throws in the very last scene, and by the way, this is not a spoiler alert. The film's been out since nineteen eighty five, so if you haven't seen by now I'm sorry. I deserve to spoil absolutely. Why did they allow the bully from the other team to stand in the baseline underneath the WHO shouldn't that be a technical foul? Wow hitting. You're absolutely right. Isn't a things that. If we cared deeply enough, we'd write a letter. Yes, the other film we watch recently with short circuit you short circuit. Guide hive is alive. Was? The think the theme song theme song will like really big at the time. The theme I can't remember the the song that went but the theme song was like a huge hit. in the eighties. Yes I, don't I. Don't recall Fan, but I think you're right. I think you know that's that's how a lot of musicians make money. They make awful soundtracks I. Mean I always believed that if? If the wasn't rocky fills with survivor. BE A bad. Yes, yes, that kind of thing. Yes, the short circuit first of all you know I like Allie sheeting, but her acting was not top of the line. Not till not not until the breakfast club Breakfast Club, and had Steve Gutenberg. Who of course has not even the Police Academy films? I wanted more of him. Yes, you're is the. And it's almost laughable but sad. Because of what's going on in the world right now. You had fisher Stevens. Playing the Indian scientists and basically hoisting up every stereotype about Indian people. He ethics the accent he was. MISSA interpreting and miss saying American colloquialisms and he was going Nama stain I'm a stay the whole time, so if you wanted to have like a white stereotype of Indian people. You got it there in the Fisher Stevens character. Short, circuit so. We've come a long way. We actually have really good Indian actors now. Playing Indian roles yeah. Let's funny your as you talk about movies, we have also shown the girls some other older movies and we have found that we found to be interesting, engaging and funny. Our kids do not. They just don't yeah. What was funny. Then in what was considered that that was really good, I walked into the theater and I felt that just confused I I can't remember which movie it was. It was it was a movie. The jets and I've watched and at some point about a half hour and I think Michaela goes. A what point that's supposed to get funny dead. Ted's excellent adventure so whatever it was. Rains World I got the savings. What. I understand. At what point does get funny so It's funny, but it's quality movie night, family, movie night and We've been lucky with the cutter. Actually real with we saw we show the kids just mercy just because it was very timely. And the kids, but movie nights, and they spend a Lotta time on their laptops, but we're trying to get through as best as we can. Help you get through as best as it can? We've got a whole music program has, but before we get into our lineup of musicians. Talk about our beloved sponsor coach Randy A of course, this is becky. Berman of Berman Dot Com Berman. As Computer Consultants Berman C S, Dot Com becky Berman for all your graphic design and web site needs. Have, you seen the latest graphic that she did for us with Bone Dazzling Kitty nut. How can you not folks out there? That is Becky Berman at her best I mean we've gone from season one to season two to three fingers to guitar. We've gotten the the hat for the holiday season. She's she's genius. Becky Berman slogan should be nothing is impossible. Nothing nothing. She turned around in a heartbeat. Hey, world, so on social media at bad to the DAD. That's our handle for most of our social media platforms including Instagram facebook twitter. Of course we have our website bad to the dad dot com, so give us a visit checkout past. Past episodes pictures of our past guest when we're actually in the Dan, which is where coach Randy is sitting now I'm in the cave, which is my basement recording studio? We all have to do our own thing, and and make it happen in these wacky and wild corona virus times we also have a media partner in that as tap into dot net that's tap into dot net for the best local news written for the people by the people. If you live in north, Jersey or in Newark, state or Florida, go to the drop down. You'll probably find it community that is yours or at least nearby to yours and check out. All of the latest news that's tap into dot net now let's talk tunes and some of the folks that are going to be performing right here Kalija data pollution coach Data Palooza. For this hurting Nice lineup begun great light. Hey, great work as always getting all these guests getting are talented fathers and dad's for the show. Thank you so much for your effort in I'm excited wants you to our guests. We listen to hear a little bit. One of my favorite recording artists that we're going to have on. Is Somebody that I learned about my kids were young kids, and that is Mr Array. Jersey guy and he has been. Recording Children's music for what we say. Nineteen, ninety, nine, hundred, a hundred, yeah. MISSUS! The better part of two or three decades now, and he just keeps getting better and better, and he's always recording tunes that are right for our times, but don't go over the heads of young kids, so we've got a performance for Mister Ray. Roth, who is fifteen years old? He is our biggest fan who is not a dad. Performing a song from his Pocono Pennsylvania bunker. That's where that family has retreated during covid nineteen, so he and his Dad Ben. Do a song for us. the HEFF is back Randy hefner from season one. Yes, are you playing? God? He'll be back playing. The UKULELE IS GONNA. Give us an instrumental, so that's going to be more fun than it's legal to have Harry Cardis a friend of ours who we didn't even know as a musician we do. he was just teeing up tunes on on facebook. You wrote A. Virus a song about his wife for the random. A song about gets mother-in-law who. Perhaps we'll hear that I. Don't know Carl, brister nobody classier than crawl brister. Of course he's the organizer of the love and unity fast. He's GonNa get a little bit more creative about that and the composer and performer of L. O. V. E.. We heard LV was premiered. Here live here. During Season Three's GonNa do it again. He's going to give us a live performance. We might hear his father's Day. Song called Daddy's Angel as well who knows and lots of other surprises here on data Palooza. We are the podcast that celebrates suburban dad life and we're celebrating dad on father's Day through music. This is data Palooza. It's bad to the dad with coach Randy and Adam, De hey, listeners make sure that you listen throughout the entire broadcast, especially the last segment because we're going to give you some information as to how you can partner with bad to the dad through advertising. Yes, you can be an advertiser on the fastest growing earliest one of the fastest growing dad based podcasts in all of humanity, and I think the pricing maven surprise. Out of D Oh Man I'm I'm going to shock people to their core without inexpensive. Notice how I didn't say cheap inexpensive are advertising deals will be, and you get. The podcast mentions or the over mentioned. As well as the Social Media Tien So. That's what we do here for our listeners and our partners on to the debt. Coach. A, record center on the program today today's third visit to the show. Any other guests. It's Jason Johnny Internet A. G A. Hello I as you guys told me your huge France and I don't speak French so I'm not really sure what I'm GonNa do Paul you. Have you played in France. I just I just got back actually like like three months ago from con-. Yeah got to see where they do the the film festival. Two little little dippy in the Mediterranean and now. Is was there a speedo involved the listeners? Yeah, but I've worked backwards, which is really weird. I love the visual I love the visual nothing to the imagination. Take pictures. No, thank God for all of us right. Jason left last left off. You were homebound like us. You're offering virtual lessons. I gotTa, tell Ya I been on your facebook page. Riotous you doing the Hanna, barbera drumming to. The flintstones! Scenes even got dressed up for I'm sure your wife was not in the room at the time on his probably. Trying to change your last name just so she wouldn't be affiliated with you. But. Have you been keeping your so busy in the same way? Just we're going on new stuff and yeah. Yeah, I I. Have you know, will we? When we first started talking when the quarantine head it was? kind of I think we all were in the same boat. It's just like you don't. How long is this going to last? What's her work going to be like going to be able to stay in this on on? Online and I look I don't think any of us are making the same kind of money that we were making when when normalcy was happening but I've been able to. Keep very busy and says day myself really well and I think I mentioned the last time. We were. How can play you guys? Yeah, this is really the last time we. Spoke I was talking about how I had put a bunch of. Microphones, you know like I really set a built a studio for myself. A couple years back, and it's really got to the point where I'm really officially recording from home now so before this little podcast. You're talking about a song that I was play. Guys and I just realized that I just cut a song with the lead singer of candlebox Martin. and. You. Just popped in my head. Hey, now and yeah. 'cause I was going throughout the songs that I had done recently, one was eight minutes long, and what was five minutes long, and then I had to sort of dig back in the in the library or place. By just got the mix of it. Like two days ago and it's like the debut of the song so good timing so again. We're going to hear. It here has been new songs smell to. It smells like a new song and a new car and the new. So you'RE GONNA. Hear for the first time. I don't even know. To play yet, but I'M GONNA. Give it to you, guys, so that's all right. We don't have permission to really be doing a podcast and yet we're fifty three episodes congratulate. Don't tell you yes. This is a first timer I love. This happens addy. It is such a a wonderful joy to be able to podcasts original first time music from such talent as Jason Johnny. Thank you. We hear this amazing to the lead singer canucks box, and of course international recording star sensation Jason, Johnny? What are the plans for father's Day? This is after all the father's Day show. Not a whole lot in that I think it's just going to be the parents coming over my wife's parents have a house down in Ventnor exelon city. So they're gonNA. Go visit their house down there for the weekend. And my sister Lisa who knows very well they will be headed out towns long island, her husband's house to his their parents, so I think he's going to be my folks just kind of. Be Grilling. Kind of thing avoiding some thunderstorms. I don't think. It's nice down there. They got a great subject called Dino's read the. US and we will sell advertising for. You gotTa Sit Dino's. Dino's in Margate is just amazing. They make out the best outside of Philly, they make like the best. Hands Down has. I love how we're like so over the quarantine. Ask You? What are you doing this weekend and we're going at a state. We're going fifty miles here. It's like enough enough of this at home grabbed. Can Change the senior I'm still I'm still doing home thing I'm still. I'm still got some hangups about this, so you know I have a feeling billion about three or four weeks after these protests on crap. That's been going on. We're GONNA WE'RE GONNA have some other news unfortunately, but let's say. I think you're right Jason John Edrich back with him at behind John that one. I'm right behind you. Put them in a box and zoom like more like above you, but you're saying so. Let's continue to stay home and flatten the curb and mask where we can Jason. Again t up the song and get her tee up the performance and tell us a little bit about what we're about to hear so My I was in a band in San, Francisco for ten years resigned to thirty third. Street records which tower records. Record. Label Bama's called. and. We had a couple of singles on the radio and It's been around for a while still even after I left, but we got a little unfortunate departure, and I moved back to the east coast. But I have kept in touch with my leads to hurt dawn and Don Mix has written this song He has toured with the guys from candlebox over the last couple of years, different projects counter boxes, silvery activist, sounding great and Don wrote. Anti Gun song and it's a I'm not really sure all the details about the song. It hasn't officially be released like I said. But it features me on drums. Kevin Martin from candlebox on the vocals of lead. Don, did some stuff on the track and I'm trying to remember the fourth musician and I. I don't remember who it is, but it's somebody on and say it's like. Somebody like that plays with John, Mayer or something like that, but it's good sort of like an all star band from about different different things like you're and I am a big fan of Martin I. Think he's a wonderful singer, so it's an honor, a flame with him on this and it's really great song to really what's a call? In your hands is yes in your hand so I take that out and play for us all right. We're about to hear in your hands. Jason, Johnny and other assorted members of of other bands right here on bad to the death. design. May, undefined. Ken. Fast. And Change. In. Stay! An. Ev. From? Tonight. We. Back. owned. Data Palooza, our music special in honor of Dad and Fathers Day. We hope you're having a great father's Day and we hope you're enjoying this program. It coach, you probably remember season two. There was a father daughter duo. Was Riley and Riley Han and Matt haunt I think it I think it tucked up to be one of our top shows. It was definitely one of my favorite shows, and you're Riley's friend of my daughter's. We got to learn a little bit more about Madha. A daddy is a great many things including play music with his daughter, and they blew us away with their version of shallow. Yes, star is born. They had aired previously on Youtube and facebook and got like a million something hits. Go Get. Yeah I! Know I think. Because they played over your honored to have them in at that. When people are actually meeting in the dating, yeah, what do you tells me? Stop teasing me already. What are you talking about? Love to tease coach, but We have a special performance specifically for this podcast bad to the dead podcast of Riley and her dad. Matt performing the fleetwood Mac hit. Landslide right here on bed to the dead I, am Matt. I'm Riley everyone of the bad to the DAD podcast harassing the clay on this father's Day celebration. happy father's Day. Dad's. Demands? On us. CARB. Issue Oh. See. Well! Father's Day. We're back to the dead with coach Randy and Adam de you're listening to data Palooza. This is our musical celebration of DADS on our day father's Day. They remember can always contact us. You got an email of course you do. US! Dot Com. That's contact us at bad to the DAD DOT com. You have a guest idea for season four. You've gotTA question. Ask US questions will be happy not only to read your email, but possibly answer it sometime in season for. Coach probably remember season one. We had a dude on who spent his lift. living lifting jugs of water and I know you excited about jugs coach, but he was also love jogging. I know you do never stops. It was also pretty damn good Ukulele player, and we even did a little name that tune with him and he is going. Yeah you remember that. Yeah, it was it was. It was a fun time I? Remember I look back on it fondly. It's appointed. Or we're really happy to have the half back with us on our Fathers Day musical celebration Heff Houria. Good, are you? I'm remember correctly. Remember correctly coaches very six eight on the jug. Thought about jugs. Still I haven't thought about jugs. It. It's not was at the time I mean it's just. The switch that goes off. Though so tell us. How is. How is life for a A water delivery guy in these wacky uncertain and challenging times. Was in the beginning, it was it was pretty intense I. mean people run into ores? Just clearing the shelves. it was. It was pretty intense in the beginning there now it's kind of a back to normal. Weren't a mask stinks. I I hate it. I hate wearing a mask working. It's horrible, but he looks good in a mask, I gotta tell you about where Bass. He wears them as well. Heff. Did you ever Burp in your mask and then smell? Are Sure sneezed in. Oh, yeah. Ever Logan and And forget that as long as. You ever been in a Turkish prison with. airplay good job. I knew I, know out of rain surges. I hate wearing a mask. Out The one downfall, grow man naked. F You like it when the dog now we're. We're not going to go there so RA. Randy hefner I can't help but notice that you've got the Ukulele back for your next appearance, so you have a little tune prepared for our data. PALOOZA program here I did I'M GONNA. Do in. Honor of my daughter, Abby. She's a billy Irish Fan. Learn a little billie eyelash tune you familiar. Are you familiar with? Yes and what's what's her thing? Is it bad guy? On barrier friends. You know Barry Friend. Well that sounds just as loving and enjoyable as bad a thing song when you bury your friend, right? Vanessa of you won't even know success since you don't know it sounds like. It's it's pretty. It's pretty dark. Tune actually well I'm so glad that you've chosen that for our celebration of dares. But in honor of your daughter and honor my daughter. Really dark and sick, twisted segment, but We've got the half. And when you have the half's, but I love you, I love you. I love you. All right have those years rock on? The. It We are bad to with coach Randy. And Adam Dr, Father's Day special celebrating DADS with music. It's our father's Day jam and remember bad to. The DAD is sponsored by Berman Branding Becky Berman Berman CIS DOT COM. That's Berman's. Getting services. Dot Com coach. Randy, it's all about marketing. Right websites graphic design. We've been pretty happy with what she's done for us. Absolute disaster this work for me my own company, so I'm a big Fan. I'm a doer. I. A user absolutely and Becky is very happy that you're using her services, and you will find a more talented marketing person again. Graphic design website design. She's got it all figured out speaking of a person who's got it all figured out. We've got a dad on WHO's musically inclined. His name is Harry Cardis, a friend from our community and Harry were so happy to have gone bad to the data. While, others, there's Day Music Special Lope. Aria we are doing great. I was you've been in covert nineteen? If you've been making the best of it, yeah, it's actually It's been there. There's been several lying's in the in the dark cloud, actually just in terms of. Getting together with family more often via zoom. Probably see more than than I would ordinarily. Actually you know from a work standpoint, a lot more productive in that note note we're not commuting in and out of the city, which is upwards of two three hours a day, so can use that time work productively, so it's all in all it's. It's it's not bad good. How are you know the saying you think you know a guy? And we've known each other for a little while now and you know the thing about social media? It's amazing because it's sort of uncorked talents that your followers never knew you had about I'd say a month maybe month and a half ago when Kobe was really at its peak. You performed an acoustic tune about your experiences your observations in Cova I. Think we're going to hear that a little later on right right? Yeah, I'll. I'll play that I am. I kinda just is is a hobby dabbled in songwriting. It would be It would be without really aspire to do, but I think it's probably not going to happen at this point But. A man can drink. Man can only dream that's it. And perform. I mean it was really only a dream that I would have would be on this podcast here. I am so. There you go, which is why you become throats, Randy Gibbs, dream for coach, Randy, and me, and then and then we woke up and yet we're still here. Doing the PODCAST, so it's as they say if you will it. It is no dream. It's true. I concur I concur. Dad's of course no, your kids were a little older, but you know being that his quarantine times, and now we're. We're huddled up a little bit more. Would you like to do with your family with your kids? Quarantine non quarantine. You know things are normal. What's what is fun looked like as a family with Cardis, well, we. Actually have three jets grown at a? Thirty three year old, who actually lives in Jersey City married My daughter is the youngest she lives in the city normally, but she moved, they moved in and she and her boyfriend moved in with us, back in March, so in that time we actually moved to a new house. We moved from north. Call well to West Orange. They moved with us in. They are still with us, and I had a third son in. LA? Out So. Again we get together quite often on zone. At yesterday, this weekend was my life's birthday. and My Son From Jersey. City and his wife came out, so we social distanced on the deck yesterday at dinner and. It's A. It's not been so bad. But. Just getting together at every opportunity again. That's really what we try to do. Awesome happy birthday astor had birthday to esther. Thank you actually put a little song out yesterday I. Don't do that a lot. You know you referenced the Covid Nineteen. Song I did do that. Is kind of the moment was ripe for it in a? So I. put it out there and I did it. Put a little Arroyo esther. Little Song that we're GonNa we anniversary later this month, also thirty fifth wedding anniversary so. At wrote a song and that out the other day, too, so I'm. I'm really branching out. Sense metality such a sentimental guy had no no idea the the love that comes from your heart through music. That is your. What is your Muse Nitin actually. I didn't realize that either. My News, you know most of the writing I do is is is very personal. It comes from you know. Kids or family or Actually have an older sister. Who Lives in, Israel she She uses medicinal marijuana. For for headaches, and actually I think the headaches are gone, but she's still using it as a preventative. Preventative solution never let doesn't headaches coming back Nancy twist arm either no, you want to give her a medicine that she can. She got? She inspired a song called. Grandma is a pocket. So you know you never know where GonNa. That's what I'd like to hear. We're GONNA. have to bring you back. Played we can play that one, too. was making that. That's good stick. Good Stick Anyway Yeah Harry is of course a show about Dad's when we have first time. Dad's on. We'd like to do a segment called dad vice where our guests provide advice, other dads who might be listening and he kernels of wisdom from you that you could share with other dads of any age in stage across the board. Wow that's. I should have gotten some warning on this one any advice. That's why we don't give you warning because we wanted to be spontaneous and thought of the heart or any other any bodily organ that you would like this information to come from. Just communicate you know you stay in touch. not know what's going on. You know again. You know when when they're. They're typically not on their allies us at my daughter's here now. A unique situation but When they're not around, you know you want to. Just stay in touch, show we. We make a point to try to speak at least weekly. And You know just catch up in the end Keep your fingers on the pulse. That's that's I guess what I would say. Very, lovely very Levin. A man with many years of being dad's. Yes, that's great dad vice. Got Some great hair to show for that, too. Yeah I'm catching up to you. Will you let more than? Know I know that's so what? What's my problem, right? Harry WanNa hear your musical stylings, and I think you're. You'RE GONNA play. That I'm I'm? I'm probably messing up the title, but that owed to to covid nineteen. That was the first tune that I stumbled upon on Facebook, and of course Once you've finished performing. We're in a lead our audience to where they can find some year performances, but Let's let's hear that that Cova tune if that's what you'd like to play for us, okay. I am. Was Out actually this was sort of a inspired one day I was out riding a bike, and it was sort of at the outset when people were really settling in and whatnot. Now is a pretty day Kinda like the day. and. I was just amazed. There were so many people out on street. People were social distancing. But you know I thought to myself if we were not in this situation. They wouldn't have been anywhere near the number of people out just walking in in the yard, playing with the kids. That sort of thing so got home that day and it's sort of inspired this song called. Ballad of Code Nineteen? It's not mate. You scream and shout people stay. Instead, go. would. Only be witnessing. Thing. They're calling social distancing. Round as far as I can see. All caught up in the sense added. On the other side, we'll all be better just wait. On Not by side inlet cool clean-air. Practic- so many. Live. Up Announced Street. And in their yard, they were careful actor. Let down their guard was one thing. The young Laura saw that. Family together for a child's birthday. Shared a smile and wave me as asked on. You don't have to. do be able to see a lot of people forming next year rule league. They're all live at thanking so selflessly. So we can rest. Assured did weaken all scar-free. When we're in Dr They. Channel lied on you. When you feel, you're sinking into the abyss, you can look around and find. There's beauty in this doesn't matter it. Sunny stormy weather. All that matters is that we're all in this together years of body. Hoping we might embrace product would jusoh in someone else's. New winner will be. Old. You. Don't happen. To be able to see. Performing actually room. They get their all with thinking so selflessly. So we can rest assured that we can have all. Every When we're in the dark, they shiny line on you. When we're in the dark nation, light on you. Were Bad to the dad with coach, Randy and Adam De. We really hope you're enjoying our musical spectacular in honor of Dad Data Palooza a musical celebration of Dad's first time. We've ever done kind of a concert. He type of program here concert type of special of we're glad you. The listener are a part of it. You'RE GONNA WANNA stay to the very end. Of this bad to the DAD special as pledge said, the very was, it was sun was so sudden. She's been. She's been sick for weeks. The very which he actually died was very sudden, so were applying that same fletch methodology to the podcast. You WanNa. Wait to the very end of our our program here because coach. We've got a another special bonus song from Harry. Cars are bad to the dead with coach. Randy and Adam de this is our musical celebration of DADS are dad jam fest. Fest remember you can see pictures of this. As well as all of our other guests over other shenanigans on social media at add to the dad that has are handled for pretty much all of our social media platforms, and of course we have a website because any enterprise worth its name has a website or is simply add to the dead dot com. That's bad to the DAD DOT com. Coach we have all kinds of listeners every every stage, every gender, every kind of lifestyle lost today. We've got a special treat on the segment of our Fathers Day jam session. We have our youngest biggest fan who is not a Dad, and that is Warren Roth who has joined by his Dad Ben Roth, and they're coming to I, believe from from Pennsylvania where they've been hiding out from from the corona virus, war and Ben. How are you and welcome to bad? Father's Day. Thank you house morning. It is going great. It's going great and it is really really good to have this. This is a musical program musical. Celebration of Dads and you have repaired attuned i. what are we going to hear from him? I don't care by Ed Sheeran and I just destined Bieber. Very ambitious. We're looking forward to hearing. That tuned from Warren and Ben Roth right here on the bad to the dad musical celebration, it is our dads jam session. Take it away fellas. Madam Party I don't WanNa be out. Now never wear soon tie. Wondering if I could see the. Stories, even looking to. Take my hand magic insane shall we dance. Today. Make a better life. Is powered. Everyone's got so much, she say. I always. Come through! And anywhere. Off Adding. MAKING NEED! Maybe I am. With the bad. COP, yeah! Long, as you just search me, are you can take? Wear wear. Me Like unload lesson. With the bad. With my baby. We don't want. To talk a week and cells. Rather Gates! People all around. With. All. That's where I'm supposed. You know what kind of crazy 'cause I really don't mind. You make a better life. His. Her. When we walked in I said. Now I think we should stay. With my baby. Bad things disappear. Off. With the bad. When I'm with my Baby A. Don't care. You just. You. And me knock on. I can deal. With baby. Nobody about you I hey, everyone here. I don't like nobody, but you may be yeah Mazot. With. Bad. took. I can deal with the bad. With my baby. I don't. Long! The anywhere anemic. By. With armor. We are bad to the dad with coach Randy and Adam de and you are listening to data Palooza our musical celebration of DADS on Father's day and remember you can email us questions. You can even email us guest suggestions by sending us an email to contact us at bad to the DAD DOT com. That's contact us at bad to the DAD DOT com. Coach. I think you'd agree that everything. We learned about what we needed to. In Life, we got from Chevy Chase and Mel Brooks films. Would you agree with that without a doubt, maybe Bill Murray. He he's a diff-, Chevy Chase and Mel Brooks are God's. He's a dummy got yeah all right I getting. You're probably just referring stripes just got off with that one in their Ma Ma my kids, who went to the J. C.. C. Nursery school everything they needed to know about life. They learn from songs like led Elephant Kalian the alien. When it came to kindness when they needed to learn about all the colors in the rainbow, they learned it from boy named Roy G Biv. And all of these songs came from the creative mind of children's Rockstar Ray Anderson better known to audiences as Mr Ray Ray, thank you so much for being on band of the dead and our musical celebrating Dad's a low JEN's. Thank you for having me well welcome. Nice intro. Thank you. That's very heartwarming. Thank you super. Have you super to hat on? You gotta tune that. You're going to be playing for us. So, what are we going to be hearing? It's called first father's Day I wrote it about probably a year and a half after I became a dad. And you know just it's just A. It's a celebration. A right of passage of song and my daughter's fifteen now she she starts. Assange goes I of you Yati, and you know just to hear that now just to have that Sonic Tom time capsule. At the beginning. Record for the beat starts on my ash, in in fact, when I was preparing for this I was thinking you hadn't heard it in a while and put it on and. Gallo Misty, listening to her on. That to US yeah right. All right Mr Ed. This is first father's day on bed to the dead MIC is yours I'll via gaggy. Seem like Outta nowhere. It happened one day or a clown the next day Oh. Man. Be Foreign Laugh after expect all the things that you never and. I'm looking for A. Not Some, Standi I know you've been down this road and your fan you. Know it's my first bothers did. It's Math I. They. Won't you lack you gone to battle? You'll never do things you use to. But. She doesn't take away my passions. She adds a new color every thing. But look in for a hand. Grab Manson some stem. Loop. Loose ruled and you found you. Good, it's my first others tae. It's Ma first father's. Won a no would was getting. To. Know. We did one hundred offense that had it. But who really does. Who Do? So now Canfora. Clap. natsume stem. Loop. Been Down this road and your fun and you. Through, it's my first. Stay. Ma Spa stays. My I. Did. We are bad to the dad with coach, Randy and Adam De, and you're listening to was special recorded segment. Or our father's Day addition it's our father's Day jam session using music. Celebrate dads around the world to. Coach. You'd probably agree if you're GONNA have a father's Day jam session began do it without one of our season three guests, and that is and be Gospel recording artists. Or. BRISTER Welcome back good to see a partner. Coming back. At the happy father's Day, first of all, yeah, thank you man! Thank you same to you got thank you. So Carla GonNa, tell Ya last night we had you on. It was a couple months ago and you were releasing your new single L O V. Yeah and you had position L. O. V. as exactly what we needed at this time. But at that time covert was really the only thing that was stealing headlines. Now, you know Karl what they say about hindsight. We think that perhaps L. E. was released. Two months too early, and have you been giving that? A lot of thought given current events. Now No, We still need. Yeah love never. Goes out of style on this. Is. Is. Is a solution in every situation. You know and. I don't know how. I don't know how. To feel about it, you know I. I know that the world is always needed more low. But. It's definitely every. In this moment right now. So is must song is here. At this time. I'm deceiving more grateful that could apply to those who are dealing with Kobe nineteen, and now the whole world was. We're feeling the effects of what happened. was happening throughout this news, so let's let's kick things off with elevate. Her commenced. Got The! Maybe you can help them rather. Hyun I. Why can't we to slab turn. Your honesty, Can We, I'm we figure this loving? Thue. Knowing. One thing. How well! We need. No Discrimination No Miss Education. Across the nation and politician making. ovoid of came. Came? What you're on this? ooh! Gun violence legislation. Look. No. In? Thanks for Doing L. O. V. E. AGAIN FOR US in my life I've. Gone on bad to the DAD. You still enjoy performing that over and over and over again. The days horrible. Today, is heart okay when I wrote, the song are voted. By than there's a line in night was inspired by buying. A Memento soon is an I re. Embedded no more. And when I wrote that line. Never thought that. It would apply. Directly to another. As an American male at the hands of police officers saying I can't. This is is the first time I've done it since George Slower. Almost high. Yeah so that's interesting. You know not that we're trying to blow smoke up own podcast here, Randy but L. O. V. premiered. Yes I'm bad to the dad during Ovid and now. On this. Version has different kind of emotional. Thank you Carl. Carl! Thanks for making US auto for this. Wonderful Song would it gets to call you have another song is really spot on for Father's Day's Skull Daddy's Angel. Can you tell us a limit a little bit about it before you start playing? Yeah Daddy's angel. Is Song released of years ago on my my album funded defeated and it's been. Going strong on spotify. Every says in. A week before my youngest son Jordan was born. And so my oldest was already. A year. So it was impossible to both of them, so they're actually by the time recorded on it. and it was the first song that Jordan Bird. Coming home from the hospital. So I was just like nervous. My wife was having. Braxton Hicks. Yes, you know fake labor, but real labor real labor. We're not GONNA catch. Good Catch Carly! You did there. I was nervous man. I was nervous. At this. Crawl myself down I went to the keyboard I started playing and the next thing i. now have a song. That's out. Tell it happened at. Absolutely. Love to hear Daddy's angels, so call brister bed to the dead. S. CETERA. A? Who? To See Mar.. Link. You. A. Man's. We are bad to the debt. Hey, thanks for listening to data Palooza, our father's Day Music Celebration WanNa, thank all of our musical guests putting the time to rehearse putting in the time with us, so we could record all those performances in interviews. This was one of the most fun episodes I realized it. Required more sweat equity produce, but it was just so much fun listening all those different genres of music, and realizing how talented people in our community and people in the Brotherhood bad to the dad actually are so super nice. It was nice to reconnect with some of our old favorite. Guests and then. A. Couple of surprises in there. Couple of couple talented so. I gotTA. Tell you as we say couple my Jewish community muzzle top. Mazal Tov. I think I want to have a muzzle. Tov cocktail right now I think. Got GotTa be five o'clock somewhere. It's father's Day. Why not right absolute no rules? It's our day you know. Make sure that you enjoy the day dads and pair of course in France. Hey, listen if you have an idea for season, four and and coach season for is coming up whether just idea or a subject, or if you have a question for your head to the Dan hosts, the email is contact us at. Dot Com coach. You want to repeat that please. I'd appreciate doing so. Thank you for asking. That is contact us at bad. The Dad Dot com that is contact us at bad of the DAD DOT com. Coach of another special offer for his especially our listeners who might have a business, small business or otherwise we are opening up the doors to advertising on the bad to the DAD podcast. The rates start as low as are you ready for this I can't wait to hear it. Adam I mean who would not want to engage are growing market. Fifteen dollars per episode fifteen dollars like I'm giving advertising away. You're giving stuff away. I mean fifteen dollars you thought. I was generous with that. Hold on, because this is an introductory offer. We're GONNA. Do Fifteen dollars for your first two episodes so Amir. Will get you two episodes advertising not just on the podcast on all of our social media accounts. So you're you'RE A to. We're a two for family here. We're to preserve you know what I'm doing on extending the value to you I can't tell you. That is unbelievably generous. Fifteen dollars two episodes I mean. How can you not want to take advantage of such a a great deal as a sponsor of bad look at Becky brand at Bourbon dot? com for all your graphic design, a website needs and how Brittany's been with what she's done for us and listen to how many times we say. BECKY BURMA BURMA'S DOT COM. That could be you that could be your business and again you'll get the parallel advertising social media so. Rummage through those couch cushions get fifteen dollars change then molest money or send us and Jank and we'll be happy to not just promote you, but over Promo- you. There's no such thing as over solicitation unless you're in a certain kind of rancid business that we don't WanNa talk about. At of democratic. Thank you for doing that work. I'm proud of I'm glad that we're able to do the special so folks again. Thank you for listening season for we always try to top ourselves better than ever gassed. New Subject matter will still have the entertainment gas. It's coming up. Would you say right around Labor? Day, usually usually Kinda put our heads together at a lot of bourbon and a lot of alcohol ob, ex. and we usually start off right around there, which is the end of August to? Off for for Labor Day so I'm looking forward to that time to well, we promised just special treats special musical. Treat from Harry Cardis here it is. That's the end of our program. We hope you enjoyed it. Dad's listeners have a great summer. We'll see in the fall. It all started. With a headache! May Grandma ooh. It hindered all activities. All the pond she had. She went looking for a remedy. saw an interesting sign. Said smoking some weed, his the answering the that'll make that aikman nine. Now Grandma? Is Not Hidden. Yes! We know it's true. Yours whatever rails her. And keeps her from feeling blue. You can smoke it or ingested. Matter Much, shadow. All the matters as say at the end of the day is that she's out avenue ball. Will it use to be hard to find, but not so anymore? You can have your doctor prescribe it. And you can buy at a pot store. The selection is overwhelming. Many options from which to choose. Matter which one they all get it done and it's a lot more fun. We'll now grandma. Is Hot hand. Yes! We know it's true. You whatever ails earn? And keeps her from Lynn Balloon. She can smoke getting or ingested. It does matter much at. All that matters as say at the end of the day is she's out. Now here's. For the children they consider. Copying of buzz. Just remember grandma tells you. Would grandma. Is after all this plant is medicine. It's not to be abused. But when all said and he's just having fun. And People Saul. Grandma is. and. Yes No, it's true. Viewers whatever rails her. And keeps her from the Lynn Blue. Can smoke it or ingested. Doesn't matter much of. All that matters, ask say at the end of the day is edge. He's out on atom bomb. All that matters asked say at the end of the day is ed. She's out having bald.

DADS Randy facebook DAD Dad Harry Cardis Adam De US France Adam Michelle God Becky Berman Randy hefner Harry Wan New Jersey Jason twitter Matt
Season 3, Episode 2  The Walking Dad

Bad To The Dad

49:58 min | 9 months ago

Season 3, Episode 2 The Walking Dad

"If you're the kind of dad who can binge-watch fifty episodes of his new favourite series and a weekend and on Sunday night. Said you know I got a lot done then. This is the podcast for you and we are your binge worthy podcasts. We are the podcast that celebrate suburban dad life. We are bad to the dad with coach. Randy and Adam de we are the stars of the show coach Randy. That's him Adam D. That's that's me and welcome you the listener for season three episode to the walking dead the walking dead. I'm real excited for the show. Give give a little sense of what our listeners get to look forward to today so our guest today is going to be alley. Divorce is a neighbor of mine and he's had a really interesting life and entertainment. He pursued his dream of screenwriting in writing went out and played the game. You know everyone knows I guess through movies or maybe knowing somebody who knows somebody in the entertainment industry you have have to play the game you have to network. You have to be talented of course but you have to do things in in certain channels that that Hollywood expects you to do but now he is a Digital executive at AMC which has some of the hottest binge worthy franchises including the walking dead which You know it's a global phenomenon based AH involved with that show. He is kind of helping out with the sire producing helping side features. Tell our listeners. How did you meet this guy? He's a neighbor of mine. Yes lives in my development and I've known for a little while because Perry my daughter and Charlie. His daughter are friends and have been friends for some time but we both got dogs roughly around the same time so we see each other walking dogs but I I. I'm always amused. This family is his name. Is Alex Real Alexander Heats is. He goes by Ali. Yeah and then his wife is Reggie Reggie and his daughter is Charlie and then his son Jack so he's get the name off a little bit but Again you show your talents and getting incredible guests. Thank you for your effort And it's a part of what allows it to the show is people who sponsor US sponsor a slight. Maybe becky Berman. Becky Berman Berman. CIS DOT COM. An incredibly talented did sponsor. We have graphic design marketing. And of course she was the artists that gave us our mascot bone. Daddy Own Dad season three baby season three three three fingers up three fingers up. We'd weather middle so anywhere. You go digitally. You're going to see the bad to the dad logo which is bone daddy and you. You saw the special version for the holidays with bone daddy and a Santa hat and of course every season. We have a new logo and the New Year. We had the new year's logo. Yeah yes indeed Indiana Daddy three bone Daddy. Three the quickening was that was the highest but eh bureau also got. We got love from tap into this network. Yeah just and Danielle thank you so much you know we were talking about. Maybe doing a sponsors episodes bringing our sponsors that idea interview Becky the interview Jessica Interview Danielle and of course want to get the CEO of the tap into dot net network. What is tap into dot net? It is a an online local news networks so if you live in New Jersey pretty much every town in New Jersey chances are there is a tap into dot net channel for your town somewhere online. And they've given us again a wonderful platform to expose bed to the dad for all it is which is a podcast. That's celebrate suburban Dad. Life both dads within our community in North Jersey Newark area as well as dads that live outside of our area that we meet at conferences conventions and and other Suarez and you we have our own on digital information right. We of course are on the INSTAGRAM. At bad to the DAD that's Probably the hottest social media channel for us so we can fantastic job and it keeps us busy but it's so much fun and you know I know a lot of people especially the kids are like how many like some many likes to get a lot of competition. Likes likes so if any of you are starting a small business or you're doing a podcast yourself. Don't worry about the likes. Look at the viewers of your instagram story. Okay Eh because that way you could see from a data perspective. How many eyeballs you have on your story all right so both on facebook and instagram? You could see how many views on twitter at bad with the dead band to the Dan and our website bad to the dad dot com. LS episode we talked about communicating deeming. And did you get a damn. I am not one not one. I've got no dams. Come on folks out there. You gotta say Sony but you know what forget about. I'm done with. DMC One week. I'm I'm done that's it giving up after one. You know what I'm going into into email. Oh that sounds new and fascinating. It is new and fascinating no way for us it is. It's contact let us at bad. The DAD DOT com. Did you hear that. Say One more time. Contact us at the dead Dot Com really. Did you say contact us at bad to the Dan Dot Com. That's exactly what I say. That's contact us without any dots. Dashes underscores journey other cookie. Just contact US contact us. CONTACT US at bad. The Dad Dot com coach. You're over for my Super Bowl party last week. -ffected out man. I felt it out after the flower flower. That's how you make the wings. The most fun part was halftime. Show everyone's talking about the halftime show but was more fun for us and eleven year old side and his eleven year old Fred's watch the halftime show. I don't know if they got a health class where they were scarred for life. In a matter of fact they had probably combination of both in France we talked about the odds ads on the Torque. Yes I gotTA try signed up. Just throw some money that way. You could probably bet the whole house. I gotTa tell you there was Not just working big. There was interesting. Gyrations of the hips and my son made an interesting observation. He simply said inappropriate camera angled. Add to our at a certain certain angle that were a little more than suggested absolutely man fifty one. In forty three years old J. Lo and Shakira knocking it back on back. It was a good game. You know a shout out to the Super Bowl Champs Kansas City chiefs. I'm happy for the dairy big of you as a Denver broncos. Oh you know. My my daughter's boyfriend is a big cheese fan again. There's only two teams I really root for during the year. That's my broncos in any team that plays against the raiders so I could see myself supporting. AFC West in the AFC and the chiefs. But also Andy Reid Just because it's been through a lot patrick mahomes. I mean first of all humble kyd. He seems this way I mean. Maybe he's not that we import flight fun to watch. It's fun to watch but I am proud of the torquing call. I do have to uh-huh okay good so it was a complete complete evening. It was I left with my team and there were no patriots. The making of this of course through a lovely gathering at Dougie's and It was a nice time But like because there's we haven't even have tried east coast back edit edit bad to the day all right always eyes on the prize buddy speaking. Tell me how your runs dead at in this week had an amazing run dented in yesterday. Yeah so you know my son's Golfer. Yes yes he's eleven years old loves the golf getting really really good at the game locally there was a PGA superstore that just opened up by route ten east Hanover. So if you living yet Jersey I know about returnees taverns a major commercial thorough fan so got ads on facebook Directed directed to me saying. Hey we've got our grand opening we open up at nine. AM on Saturday and the first thousand visitors are gonNA get a prize. The prize like clubs Snag Sunglasses Serious Merchandise urge serious merch. Yeah so Aden saw this. He said you know we should. We should go. I'm like all right. We'll go okay. So we got up seven seven thirty about quarter after eight we head over to the store couldn't find parking. Oh it's packed and we had to make three three separate u-turns because you know the the state motto in New Jersey is no left turn you can get into the right to make part. There's there's a nearby hotel awarded walking like migrants trains walking on eventually gets you got to be one of the first in there and the line is wrapped around the back of the store wrapped around the back. And it's cold. I know it's winter and it's windy. Yeah we've got a mild. Winter was cold cold so cold so it was looking the instagram fee. While I was waiting in line now even played it right. He saw some friends of his in front of the line. He hang out with them and say I don't WanNa be that guy I'll go to the back to find some some mother friends by the way Harris natick our guests from season absolutely of common sense finance and Patrick Netco who we're going to have on in the episode sometime. He was there as well and Avid Golfer. So it was good to see folks in the community of their. But I'm looking at the instagram fee. While I'm waiting in line And apparently people camped out the newly before Cheated what is the last time. You've camped out for golf gear. I mean come on now for tickets for show. Maybe so I was shot up by by the way to Chris and Jim just two guys came in from Allentown Pennsylvania and that's helped Pennsylvania like six in the morning to get in line and they still we're in the back of the store guy was where was cold because of the shadows and I said look at this people were waiting now in front From like six o'clock last last night yeah and I said to them. The last time I waited out front for anything was probably one thousand nine hundred nine who reunion or where you get a bracelet. Wait outside the reg if you have a bracelet you're guaranteed a ticket and then you're probably sitting in the three blazers got the bleeders. I said what about you guys all right. This is where we show our age. WE'LL when call of duty to was coming out. A I went to the mall and I camped out at the mall. I guess it was a really the camping out because I slept in one of those massage. Chairs yes wants to be left if we're a good number nine hundred ninety nine ninety nine to get like some golf tee is. I'm like yeah it was worth to come out from Allentown. We ended up with a couple TATE DOLLAR GIFT cards. Yes when a long way on opening day for the PJ so that's a good one standard. I had a so. You're welcome to wake up and go to a store and wade out in the cold. Does your dad with your dead might do ten. He came and he was smart. You get close aides. There's so for me. I had a good week to not say that. I was working My oldest jess of course her boyfriend. Johnny Johnny is very tall. Course his team won the Super Bowl but my daughter got a job. She was unfortunately let go she experienced. The real casualties of life happens and after the first year but she is. I'm so proud of her she she chug Chug Chug were cards searching a job This coming on the eighteenth eighteenth and then my son of I'm really proud of. He's working hard He just found out. He's giving assistant coach at the local little league. I saw that Michaela got straight as we just got a couple of honor classes classes next year. And of course we're starting softball so kids make the honor roll. You don't know you well. There's no honor roll it gold that's a and breaches to great I mean and she's between our young ones we would have had. I'm going to tell you I am blessed With my kids it was a it was kind of weeks that I didn't get the kind of phone. Call your deal. Where is one of my kids wasn't happy you know I'll be? There are some challenging questions to take the job. My son calling about You KNOW COACHING DO I. WanNa I WANNA be a specialist and coach all the kids or be an assistant coach for a team so she has kind of coaching and then Michaela embry. It was a good good week to be a dad. That's awesome. Yeah maybe next week. We'll talk a little bit about what happens when Your company tells you you're going to be laid off because it was dad's we have a lot of responsibility and the bills trying to take care of her kids rose to try and teach our kids less than hey jeff. If you ever worked for anyone chances are they're living there. There's GonNa come a time where you'll lose your job. And and what do we do when we go through that being in that industry beginning we're going to go through some of those life hacks so it doesn't have have to be a a super high anxiety situation. Has that sound great identity always thinking always thinking we're back to the dead. We are bad to the dad with coach Randy and Adam de remember you can follow us on most social media platforms. INSTAGRAM's instagram's our favorite at the dad facebook forward slash bed to the dad and we have a website bad to the dad dot com. where you can email us at contact us or contact contact contact US contact us bad to the dead to the contact us at the DOT com? It's contact us at the dead Dot Com. They say advertising episode at least ten times for it to seep ten times. We've got a whole lot of other show where you can contact us at the dead dot com very excited about our guest today. It is Allie devotion alley screenwriter. He is a producer at AMC and wonderful dad. Wonderful Daddy lives in my neighborhood are girls are friends and Allie. It is awesome to finally have gone bad to the debt. He's green game today and I can tell oh hardcore gay well. He's an entertainment pro. He's a pro but I will say this elephant wasn't for dogs. I don't know if we would see each other. Yes thank goodness for a dog. 'cause that's what gets us out of the neighborhood and socializing with my steps my heart rate my steps up. You know you gotta get the Ten Thousand Steps Day. Ah Well I feel like the dog is walking as I've watched I've watched it in so screenwriting first alley very intriguing. Because I yeah. I think everybody has quote unquote a movie in them. Write a script. They love to write but they just never get around to it and that is a very tough business to break into. How did it happen for you? Well it is a very tough business to break into and it was so very early on. I decided I wanted to be a filmmaker and I realized early that I wasn't going to be like one of these directors who was very camera tacky like wasn't like the cinematographer slash director track. I always wanted to be a storyteller so I did some summer programs. Programmes were made some short films and got into Nyu Film School. which was regulations Dude Jiffy? Yes that's awesome well. I actually took a back door and tim same way. I got into the school as a freshman mar and then transferred okay. Does it matter how you get this. That's well listen. I didn't get into originally. It was aimed building. Yes so anyway I went to Nyu as a sophomore film school. And they're they encourage you to when when you graduate to have two screenplays and so you know you take a lot of writing classes and after a while you. I worked for a producer. Scott Rudin. Who's a Kademi award? Winning producer he produces tons of the COEN brothers staff. Okay Tom Noah Baumbach. He's working with right now. I mean Scott and he was wonderkid. Scott was the president of Fox at twenty nine years old. I was working with him when he was like thirty six thirty seven he'd already produced the firm sister. Act Act I mean huge huge movies addams family with Julia. I mean huge because this is good the Oscars happen to be on the names. Yes I will be. But that's that's that's the storm industry. I'm shamelessly going to be drawn. Names entire speak speech like to thank my producer. My Age is there's no requirement to play play music real quick. Have you been to the award but that was going to happen some day right. We'll see what happens happened. Somebody Interviewing Future Oskar that right there in a life coach. Really documentary about this upstart podcast. Yes yes from New Jersey movie but we're moving. They're moving company yes. Editing we digress so anyway Yeah I got routed and then working for Scott Rudin. I worked on the movie Ranson which was directed by Ron Howard. Starting now Gibson Mel Gibson had just like literally Ron Howard. Mel Gibson. Were both nominated for Academy Award Award Directors Ron Howard for Apollo Thirteen. Yeah and Mel Gibson for Braveheart. Yeah Jeff has a joke about Apollo is he is. He doesn't see the first twelve twelve. Yeah do you really well. He's he's from South Orange. He's then he's from Springfield Springfield. He was jeff lift show but but we lived in the same building. It when I tell you and he was like he was there he was in there and he was a Boston College Boston University but when he was a young comic coming up and going to what was called the Boston Comedy Club. Young New York's and So I knew Jeff. Ross if you ever WanNa see some funny stuff netflix bumping. Mike's with Dave attell Ross. David through them together will be so happy like promoting. Your Dad Know Jeff Jess Jeff. Flake story is fast. Yeah so again. We digress pies and so anyway I So yeah so for routing and I was working on these big films. Iran's him the first wives club and early days on Truman show. I mean huge movies and it just I was like it really. Hit Me that what we were doing for Scott Rudin was really no different in terms of I mean yes. We working with the best actors the past directors but there was no there was no like magic secret sauce to making a movie. That was different than what I was doing in film school so me and my friends decided to make an independent movie so we did. We made a movie club brokers About new city real estate brokers and got into a bunch of festivals Guy Review in variety. And I got an agent in a manager and then I moved out to la so that it will sundance was a real big component in the Indian movement and then slammed it in so that opened the door for individuals who didn't have the names in the ninety s in the ninety s there was an independent film boom. Yeah I mean there was clerk swingers in huge look at what's Alex another one dazed and confused young. Yeah that was his second film. slackers lacks glitter. So it was this you know literally every every month a new independent film. New Young Voice was coming out so we were very inspired to. I had a one of my best friends from Nyu you guy very funny guy. WHO's doing stand up? His name's Dave Goldberg. So he and I co directed Gobert. His job was working for one of these like shyster kind of real estate the company. I am the tagline. was you know anything for fifteen percent. Yeah and we had Jeff Ross was in it was in brokers. Yeah and we had this great Elizabeth McKay who was in another independent movie called the brothers mcmullen which was a good movie and the movie did well. Oh and he got into the. The Hollywood Film Festival was an review. It shall we got signed and that moved out to La. And I was like yes. I'm sorry this is it I am happening. Is there nothing happened. Get out there and you go on a million meeting is a scratch what is your brokers guy and then you rush is your soul with inset of us like I'm here like no no no no and it's great because he plays in the business out there in your agent and manager sends out script which was that was like I felt like a huge step ahead of a lot of people and then you get to go on all these meetings they love. I loved your script. They loved it like tastic rate by no but they WANNA meet you so I would come in with this terrible attitude like. Why don't you fucking script? No the meeting is an honor. You should be out of this with me. And then I was like really. He did play the game. Correct Hustler go back to my three hundred square foot studio in English but not unlike athletic stone. I did feel like every script every meeting. There was like a little incremental improvement. Now Joe about that's of your as a young kid you have these dreams and you see these people up on the screen and they make it appear so easy and anybody who's ever gotten anywhere it doesn't happen. No there's no substitute overnight. Success now every overnight success story you read and this is already hacky. Explosion took ten years to get absolutely So yeah I'm sorry was there. was there a script. Where said man I I made it it got plot yes? I'm in the game now. What was that? Yeah so so. This is worlds colliding so I actually was in college in high school. I was offensive and not offensive randy like you. The foil fencing pose a challenge. You No it is my friend my little glove Jerry used to yes right in the face. UH-HUH I spit it to you. I spit it. You have to take the gloves so anyway. There's this really charismatic unbelievable Olympian guy named Peter. Westbrook whose dad was African American Mama's Japanese and they met in a believe though Korean War She got pregnant he brought order back and grew up in Newark and he was half black and half Japanese and so he didn't fit in anywhere link. The black kids didn't consider him black. The white kids and the MOM thinking about the Samurai culture encouraged him to get into fencing. Early this is going back. Pete ended adop- A five-time Olympian. No kidding no five time Olympian and his lunch. What no he was from East Orange New Orleans and he went to Essex Catholic. Okay Okay and then he went to Nyu as and then he made the seventy two seventy six eighty even though we didn't go in more eight ninety seven games expensive. Ah On my God. From twenty to forty six he was Olympian and then when he retired he started the Peter Westbrook Foundation and it was for at risk youth because his fencing predominantly white aristocratic sport. Yes he made it affordable and accessible to all these black kids from Harlem and Brooklyn New York City so excited because I've done beat the streets with wrestling. There's more stuff with baseball. It's amazing how sports can be used the ideas to keep kids off the street is the about. It can be this great book called Harnessing Anger. Yeah and I knew because I used to train with him when when I was in college fencing and going back in my three hundred square foot department of going out with a lot of scripts none of them are selling. But I'm getting well known amongst producers and executives in Hollywood and I had met this Great Guy Keith Mitchell who is a screenwriter. Who wrote the movie Eddie Hubbard? Hybrid district three thousand. Here's writing sports movies. Those no Bernie Mac Zebra the horse race. Eddie was this is going to sound horrible We'll be we'll be going. Yeah we'll be in his shoes. She's the basketball coach. Thinking of the horse movie would there was a horse horse. Record Hawking read yet. You're thinking all right. We're off the rails. Let's get back anyway. Ellie please say US okay. So keep an eye. I pitched the Pete's story Westbrook and he loved it. And then our agents collectively made pitches and then we sold the we got the rights. To Harnessing Anger mcpeek gave me the rights for a dollar to exclusively pinging around and we into the end of two two thousand and one beginning of two thousand two. I sold it. We sold it to Disney and it had a it ended up not being produced but we went through the whole process as debris agreement. No no no but it ended up You know it went through development but it was it got the writers guild and then once. Don't you blame the writers guild once you break through that barrier then you're higher Yeah right so then from base any benefits right you get benefits. So so from the end of two thousand and one to the writers guild strike in two thousand eight. Basically for seven years I worked professionally as a screenwriter selling scripts. Getting being them set up doing some rewrites. A few movies got made for Fox. A couple of sequels to family films all sports most of everything I guess their their favorites in the Chandler household like Mike to and you know we put that off. Because we're looking for like a movie just to watch on Friday night and then when the credits roll alley divorce wait a minute. He's my my neighbors so that was really very else with bow frank about what was the original and I liked how it sort of took advantage of the whole mixed tape basketball tour. That's what yeah so you. Oh that's that's how it happened. I mean incremental steps over. I mean you know if you think about it. Graduated College in Ninety Three. And I didn't tell my first script till two thousand into well now it is. It is very very nice. It's what I like is an authentic story. We were bad to the DAD and our goal is to get dad's like you who are here just living life doing ever. You can obviously living a professional dream. You wanted to be involved in movies and we're in our backyard. We're just we don't even you know each other what we do and do agree up picking guests at MD letting you know thank you so I get to keep my job for another picking packing. I'm going to show up Dan. He's dying interest or less. Sir Can you give me. This is a female so still an entertainment and you kind of a big deal at AMC. which has one of the hottest binge worthy franchises and that of course is the walking dead? which I think is kind of funny because AMC does? That's the wrong people are taking off of work is the biggest incredible ventures people dressing zombies. It's crazy do you have any idea was going to be like well when I so i. So yes the short answer is when I got to see eh were just starting the fourth season so was that was it was. It wasn't like an when I got. It was a very heavy anytime to get there. It was literally Ford Season of AMC season five and six of breaking ban and madman. Yeah so those were the first when when really became a content producer original one hour drama. Those first three crazy shows I know they were kicking random. HBO Didn't they had mad man. But Soprano H had sopranos. Right so many headliner I worked. Yeah Matt Leonard Executive Producer Creator of Man Ben had worked with David Chase on soprano and when HBO bought were going to buy. They said to David Chase. Well you'll be the show. And he said no no no no. I'm just giving you this. This is Matt Show. Yeah and so. They didn't do it there. You know. And so m c like got these breaking bad in the walking and it's funny because your first three show just kate. I mean it's like three lightning. Yeah because because it's still stand for American movie classic technically. Yeah but it's it's really changed. Its bridge visible is new content. Yeah so it's AMC networks really knows by now and under under that umbrella is AMC. The Sundance Channel BBC. America is easy and waste on good stuff. Yeah so you get your your four. So it's it's some I'm Lik. You have an idea go someplace and now you're walking dead right so I'm so when I came to. MCI was hired as a producer for the Digital Department Department Right so the digital so backtrack. So again. There was a writers guild strike in two thousand and writing so that sort of slowed down the writing career and then and all of a sudden you know scramble. I've got young kids. You know I've got a mortgage to pay you know I'm like what am I going to do here. And so I started doing a lot oughta digital content for making short form video. Okay for the army for ESPN for different clients right for Disney for different clients and then a colleague Buddy from La was the SBP of production overseeing the production of all these amazing shows who he called me and he said I need somebody. I could trust to produce content for short form. Yeah so it's on. AMC At the time it was mainly for AMC DOT com and it was mainly behind hind the scenes kind of making of and we called them inside where the writers and directors and show runners talking about the shows and their interpretations. Ed because the fans are eating that up you know find that because at the time he was just. AMC DOT COM. Okay right yeah so but the department was is literally like three four people now. The digital department has grown digital. Obviously where most people are watching Joe's and streaming video on demand and there's multiple platforms so the content that we produce is way beyond just making stuff. I mean we. We produce in world content tend to link side stories if they don't want you know the if they can't if they don't have time to tell that story or a backstory of character right so for. AMC The walking dead rick the main character for most of NAP until season nine. He had a machete. Yeah you're right about why as Shetty he just had a machete so so we said well. We're that Michetti Tells the story so we told the story. The machete is called the Red Michelle ended like it starts in a hardware store when the Santi ghetto. It all comes. Zombie apocalypse. BREAKS DOWN SOME RANDOM DUDE. Grabs is hacking away. dombi sticks it into zombies chest zombies walking around someone someone else finds it and we told a twenty minute story of how that finally wound up to keep them. So so. We're we're talking a little bit about family before. I know that you went through hopefully was temporary tragedy with your brother and diagnosis that that he received at a young age. Yes so So growing up in south orange I grew up Yes that was shocking. When I was thirteen years old and I was in eighth grade? My older brother who I'd allies handsome amazing athlete. was diagnosed with cancer in his right knee. Knee here that I know it was weird. It was very it was a call. Hyun Sarcoma in his right knee and Thank God my brothers live today. Were very close. We're actually out to dinner with her. Wife's Ah yes that I definitely feel changed. That leads into me really going for major and really feeling like you're here on earth winds kids and you know like you gotta go for the unfortunate side. Effect is a became a wild hypochondriac for the rest of the general practitioner. Talk every go. She's way beyond that. She is zero since it's been almost some kind of cartoon known pledge. The show's not done. Unless you have a Fletcher Mel Brooks Line. That's our charter here. That there is no cancer so he's good he's still got the knee. No Denise Gum Brunner is an amputee wow my brother is an unbelievable inspiring spiring humidity. What did he do? So he's he's a lawyer Mostly workers compensation he has a firm Verona yet but he. He is an avid got. Well He's a dad. He's unbelievable he's got three children. He's got a son. WHO's I'll be promoting? He's got a son who's in Michigan and boy girl twins. She's in Uganda and the other one wants to be an engineer is at Georgia Tech. Sounds expensive. Sounds like a brilliant. It's wildly expensive But yet and he's an Avid Golfer. He's like ten handicapped and there's a lot of golf. He's just amazing athlete and competitive doubles tennis. Yeah he he does not ever use his noah joop which I don't even revisit handicap. Well yeah when. He's wearing shorts but panties. It's he's got a slight hitch. But you wouldn't know otherwise and also credit like in the summertime when he's you know he'll wear shorts playing golf he doesn't care yeah and he walks. Everyone's taking a car and the people around the carts like Oh of course is the car you don't drive right up to his ball gets you mean. How old is he when he left his AAC okay so he had a total knee replacement for ten years of men? Also yeah thousand thousand. You'll also part of me coming back because you lay whereas my brother was getting an amputation. So the two thousand and two thirty six sequel devante brother of hair but yeah he'd never used like no one even thinks josh so I yeah I would imagine your parents still around. Yes and they're probably a pretty proud of their siblings. No it's just the two verse I was it like growing up with the Tova. It was fun. I mean up until my brother got sick. It was a lot of fun now. Then it wasn't so so but yeah my mother's a real fun character and my dad was in the toy business. His license plate was always toys. His My grandpa was in the toy. Roy Business on it's interesting. Yeah it was a they worked for the big toy. Companies are so my dad worked for his father's business and then he worked for Hasbro growth years and then he came back because that was like in the New England area and then he came back to work for his company again. So yeah so it was and then my and then you know. My Dad had a lot of ups and downs. When you're a small guy and then the giants and the corporation start gobbling everything up and taking taking everything? They've never come to tell you. You know whatever you do have a real job realized for help when it came to your dreams and your will supported you get an excellent question. My parents parents were amazing. Amazing support system and very much behind me going for my dreams. They probably should have told me more. Get a real draw but like I would tell now but they were very much like you know you gotta go for it. You gotta go for your dream so which is a great segue. If you don't mind yeah talking about now you're dead right and tell us about. Your kids will quickly. So I have a daughter named Charlie who's fifteen inches a freshman at west orange high school. Okay she is soccer player. She was a of Gary Keller. Yeah she's a really strong player. She was one of three girls who made Varsity as much men which was was impressive. Huge goal for her. She worked her On you know really really hard and I'm so proud of her and I have a son who's thirteen. WHO's in eighth grade at liberty? Okay yeah and he's also really strong soccer player and they're great kids. They work hard and they're doing very well. I know as a family fencing is is you one of your favorite activities fun so I know how you Kinda got into fencing. By way of the story you told before. How'd you get your kids interested so that was so my parents we're moving and the kids were like? My son was like seven. Charlie was like nine and they found a you know they knew vaguely that is fenced in high school and college at the time and then they found a box of all mangled medals and trophies when my parents are moving. And they're looking. Oh we want to try. We WanNa try to like no no you guys guys. Don't they. Were like no we really so we started. I did some research and I haven't been into sport in twenty years but there's this fabulous fearless guy who I knew battening. Steve Kaplan who was at one point. Predated me at Nyu NYU coach. Seventy six Olympian. He had a a fencing club in Jersey City. So I took the kids there. They started their then turned out a little bit of a Schlep for us. There happens to be a green part. They're either no. It's it's tough so there was a a club in Leila Fencing Academy in Cedar Grove so they still fence there soccer's their number one sport and fencing incredibly expensive. So unless you know my kids really were gravitating to soccer and soccer's also more communal team fencing. Oh you it's you versus another kid. He's still today. Yeah I do. I cake tobacco. Do your kids are do. Do you let them win. No ever right now. Never no most kids their dad's like they go out and they throw a ball on and I'm like you know. Hey grab sort doing your kid like like in the olden days on the son of the school you get your say but we'll stab each other for a good hour. I'm now what else do you do with your kids for fun. What else do I do for fun? Yeah What we in terms of athletics will go skiing? I mean in New Jersey and work. There's so much great skiing around here and he like going to movies as well. Yeah we go the movies try to you know living close to the city you will go in the city you know. Take him to shows probations. They like you know I mean I'm in entertainment entertainment. Yeah very hyper aware that Charlie. My daughter is a really good creative writer. She's already you know write stories players. The comparison what I said to my wife early on is like look. Let's take the best of what your parents did pickers. Her parents good hurt. My Wife's a immigrant she. She emigrated here when she was seven years old really from Kiev very very tough for her. Eric's didn't speak. The language literally came over the JC sponsored. Her are you know got her over here. So incredible story but very tough for them to acclimate. MB immigrants and they also to their credit. When most Russian immigrants went right to Brooklyn came lake a little neighborhood in Brooklyn they gathered here? They ended up not wanting to do that and they wanted to experience in Marietta and so they came to Bergen County. New Jersey Shot Anyway my point was I said. Let's take the best of what your parents did. Remember what you didn't like what they did. The Best of what my parents did remember. What then in like right? And then we'll fill interest Elliott. Ta To bring it all home. We have this segment which you may have heard of people are talking about. It's called DAD vice so it's a little play on advice so anyway you WanNa take it as a veteran of of the entertainment industry as a just just a dad of two great kids. What words of wisdom? What advice do you have where the Dad community out there you can take it any Any Avenue you want to the Dad community to fellow DADS I would say listen. That's the best advice as you know it's just like you just have to listen. Let them do the talking. You know really just listen and try to be as open minded as possible awesome. It's time today are so much more complicated with media and with just all kinds of complications that we didn't have have to deal with and I'm sure this accent like an Toco right now saying this but you know like gotta do fifty flights of stairs fifty pounds snow Okapi so no but anyway I just you know I would just say listen to your kids and also like literally I mean I know this is so corny but Brad Pitt. Hit like the other day when he accepted his nomination. Here's like hey if you've got an opportunity to kind of just be kind out there. We we could all use a little more kindness and I agree with that. I mean right now especially smile people say hello say morning I mean just little tiny nice cities ladies really make a difference and a lot of challenges to be kind and we all get so wrapped up in our own lives. And you know it's just just to be just trying to he kind well great discussion. I'm so glad we're able to get you on Allie devore and our guest today. Thanks for being on bad to the Dead Guy's my pleasure. This was quick. We are bad to the DAD. Download quotas wherever you find podcasts. We are bad to the dad again. Social Media India and bad to the DAD. That's our instagram handle facebook forward slash bed to the DAD and our website bad to the dead dot com. And please email us. Tell us what you're thinking. What do you think of this show? Also guest suggestions were always open for guest suggestions. We know a lot of people but if you think you would make a good guest or somebody in your network would make a great gassed passed. The email is contact us at bent dot com coach. What is it again? Contact us at bad that DOT com. I said contact us at bad. The DAD DOT com. I think we said enough people will be compelled just so we stopped saying I want I want people finish challenging questions whatever it might be s coach coach at as coach Andy at Md.. What's it like? Whatever do you have your favorite whatever? Give us questions. Because we're GONNA create a little section on our show. We will actually begin reading these emails and giving shoutout especially since we promote our guests so far in advance yes social media. You might have a question for that guest. Absolutely next week's guest is going to be a lawyer. Yes I have a helmet and he has long term care plan long term insurance and as a lawyer to think about your term. So you'll help is going to be on next next week but it's important that you want emails at funny emails. If you want to go to some kind of grab bag said it's a question. Give us your name. We'll give you shut out. You want to create a section Shen of our show for emails where you send it to contact us at bad dad dot com. Don't even have to use your real name kind of like me at starbucks. I never use my Modesitt starbucks all of the new one. It's going to be dom for dumps for very familiar with the reference at all right so I'm used plague salesman in so so dumb for data for those of you who don't know Passover Seder we go through the ten plagues grew dominance for the first two. which are Hebrew for blood blonde and frogs? Yeah Sam's far. I just think it sounds like a cool to see on house. Lord Very Nice but I do WanNa go but speaking of great names on a a copy bugs at starbucks what a great yesterday alley devouring while my Gosh we live. Now I WANNA go find brokers I wanna find some he did. I mean Y. Wow you first of all publicly such a great job with our guests. I mean every week walking your dog you meet this guy at. Of course I'd imagine started. Charlie sounds great aca his wife Reggie Credible Story and I love what we do here because we need just debts and you don't know them until you get to talk to go back to what I seddon season one you know. We're very fortunate to live in an area where we have really nice community minded people who do interesting things. Yeah I just feel and other parts of the country may laugh at me but I always feel like new. Jersey is one of the great manufacturers or export is a fascinating people and some of them are living right next door to us so most think think that's his story from younger than his brother with the cancer and for him. That's he decide. I'm going to go after my dream and he goes out he gets into. NYU Are you film school which you know the other the other school in the country that USC is southern cal a film school Nyu Film. School is is not easy and he played it down You know he's a humble guy but that's that's a big deal. I love you know. We heard some stories off air hundreds of some of the people classmates who he who he knows and he name dropped and he was a kid goes a real people that he knows and the skill and what I love is able to knowledge. It just doesn't happen. I mean how he is it. He graduated in ninety three. It sells I script until when two thousand two right so that has something like that so ninety years but and he's found a way Dan he's he's on. AMC I listen to them. I I could talk for other our hat. It's just the kind of guy. Want your living room and just chatting rowdy. It's funny. Oh my Gosh He's the kind of guy you can play along. He knew jobs. Yeah and he writes comedy too. Sometimes when we're off air we'll we'll trade. Bit is back it and he was able to catch a few of our our new nuances in terms of. How do we Embrace our guests could do that. What a fantastic? Ah Fantastic thank you. Of course all of our guests get the band to the dead Keychain Bil- opener which not only opens doors opens bottles and opens hearts and minds. Yes Biki okay but you had mentioned last week real quick the of our show so I I was up at I teach at Rutgers University professor a school social worker and I had I had a bottle. They sold me a bottle with a a cap on it and I didn't realize until I go back to the car I'm like. Oh Man Dan how am I going to open it. You know what I'd have to worry. You know why I have. A bad of the DAD. keychain allows me to open bottles. It's like you're Batman Utility. They'll so there. I was driving after I panic so we will open it up. dual-purpose man I'll because of our keychain see that is a great great infomercial that infomercial for just say that I was able to use it to speak that Gospel about the keychain worldwide and if you'd like one contact us at bad to the dead dot com that is our email contact us and that simple at bed to the dad dot com for three bucks. We'll get you a bed to the dead keychain bottle opener and that three dollars I will go to a charity. Men's probably men's health charity. And if you have a chart if you're a dad that that is involved in charity we'd love to hear a little bit more about it on bad to the DAB. We are bad to the dad with coach. Randy and Adam de Dad's had a great week.

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Taking Ownership As A Dad

Dad Tired

30:18 min | 11 months ago

Taking Ownership As A Dad

"Hey guys hope you're having a great. Start to your Thanksgiving week before we dive in today. I just want to remind you that we are giving away free copies of Dad Tired Book as a thank you for making any donation to the Dad Tired Ministry as a reminder. Those donations are tax deductible. But if you want to support the ministry we are trying to raise fifteen thousand dollars by the end of the year so that we can. I do more conferences. Put out more resources. It just helps us continue to grow as a ministry and to continue to reach men with the Gospel so when you make a generous donation we send you you a free signed copy of the book but you're also entered into win a two hundred and fifty dollar Amazon Gift Card. One person will win that so the way that you can get involved by doing. This is is going to dad tire dot com slash Christmas again. Go to dad tire dot com forward slash. Christmas and you will get a Free Dad. Tired Book signed signed by me and sent to you and then also you'll be entered into win two hundred and fifty dollar gift card from Amazon Said you can pay for some Christmas gifts this year. That's our way of I'm saying. Thank you for partnering with US and supporting the ministry again. All those Donations are tax deductible. Again for your partnership. We're really looking forward to everything. God's going to do in the data ministry in two thousand twenty. How's it going guys? Welcome back to the DAD. Tired podcast I'm your host jeered. Lopes join me every Monday as we David what it looks like to be men who fall in love with Jesus and help our families do the same. You can learn more about our books resources conferences and even online community by going to dad tire dot com. Let's dive into today's episode. Are you guys. Well I want to dive straight into today's episode and dive into what we're talking about today Eh on today's Sunday and it's actually my daughter's birthday. You may hear her screaming in the background because she just had her very first cupcake For the first time she's it just turned one year old and down so she got her first cupcake. We just did a little family celebration and she may lose her mind. I don't know how she's GonNa react to that I know there's like a trend that this may be a Portland thing you guys can reach out to me. Let me know as maybe a Portland thing but There's a trend where people are giving their kids now. like healthier alternatives jobs to cupcakes. Maybe your family does this. Maybe you're wiser than I am. And you give them like. I don't know like a cupcake Broccoli. Broccoli cupcake thing and dead spinach cupcake instead of like. I just went to Safeway man like I just went to the grocery store and picked up a chocolate cupcake and I gave it to my daughter. She's one so I don't know if I'm the worst parent the world world. She's never had that much sugar in her life and she's probably going to be screaming in the background. That's a tangent all that to say Today's her birthday and we're really excited about it. She she may be chaotic in the background. So bear with me. I'm dead tired. I'm still recording. This podcast My bedroom after all these years in our little home and it's chaos so thank you for your Dad Grace Today's Sunday yesterday was Saturday coach. My son's soccer game indoor soccer games on Saturday and we played a game yesterday yesterday and we got just destroyed. The other team beat us. I think it was like seven to one or seventy two. We got okay. Let's not lie actually know exactly what the scores it was. Seven not be real bad and so this is I've I've coached soccer games for years. Coach soccer teams for years. We played a lot of outdoor. We're you know not to like this. Sounds really dumb. Because they're eight years old but we've done very well in their little leagues and played soccer. We've always put good teams Coach good teams and the the the kids have done really well and had fun together. And I'm trying not to like just brag on kids right now because they're eight and it's really stupid but anyway we're we've normally really done very well and now we're playing. Indoor and the exact opposite is happening. We have not won a game. I think they've the opponents in the last three games of scored twenty six goals against us and we've scored a total of four. We're just getting destroyed like a big time taking a piece of humble pie here Thanksgiving giving week and In the last three weeks and we're just getting destroyed and yesterday we're playing a game and we're getting destroyed by the other team which has been kind of the normal for us the last couple of weeks and I'm like getting frustrated. The kids coaches kids for awhile. And I'm kind of getting frustrated McMahon. We know better like the. I've taught these kids for Awhile Tom for several years. They know how to play. AWW same position and I'm feeling myself get a little bit frustrating and at the end of the game as I'm kind of sitting there just watching the other team pound goals on us. I was thinking This isn't really the kid's fault like for one. They're eight and two. They're not trying to lose like no kids showed up today thing and now I'm just going to let the other kids beat us like all. The kids are trying gene whether they're doing the right thing or wrong. Or whatever like they're trying their best none of them showed up to lose and so then I had this thought of the person that's really blame. Here is me as a coach i. I can't blame these eight year olds need to look myself in the face and Look at my I look at my face in the mirror and really just say like men like what am I doing wrong. Am I doing something. Am I not coaching them. Well and is there something. That's falling short on me than I need to take ownership of so you fast forward. The reason we even tell you about the soccer stories because fast forward I leave the soccer game. I come home. Layla goes out with some ladies from our church to celebrate a birthday party. And I'm here with the kids kids and so it's just me and the three kids and the chaos pure chaos trying to feed them dinner. I've got a baby crying. I can literally hear my daughter screaming in the background right now I can hear her screaming. Remain in one room wondering she like getting into stuff and my other two kids wrestling around and the the couch is literally flipped over. Like I walk in from the kitchen and and I go into the living room and the couches flipped over. We have moving boxes everywhere because we have to move people to listen to podcasts. It's just everything is chaos and my first reaction is again frustration. Like the kids know better. Why are you being disobedient? Why are you guys acting so crazy before bed which I don't know what kind of universal universal truth this is but like every kid just loses their mind thirty minutes before bedtime And it's just the most frustrating thing the world has been dealing with this for the whole have been a dad so anyway they're just losing their mind. Couches literally flipped over. My daughter's like digging in the trash my one year olds digging in the trash just chaos and I'm frustrated. I yell upset. I tell them. Go the room. Go Brush your teeth get ready for bed. And I'm putting them the bed and I put them to bed kind of like frustrated frustrated and I have this long speech with him and everyone kind of goes to bed grumpy and then I'm laying in bed. My wife still our Enjoying the night with her friends and so I'm just laying in bed in quiet quiet and I just think to myself the same thought that just had with the soccer team and it really is like how much of this is on them. And how much of this is on me as the dad that like. What do I need to own as the dad here because ultimately their kids and they will follow leadership and of course every kid is naturally naturally by because of San the fall there naturally rebellious and they're going to make bad decisions all the time but really like my first reaction is to blame all the time and I think it's easy for us as husbands and DADS to find herself frustrated at our kids when they're not being obedient or maybe at our wives and our marriage when things aren't thriving having when things feel chaotic on but I think it's super important for us as DADS to really ask ourselves? How is my leadership Our first first tendency is always to blame like this is. This isn't just a youth thing or meeting. Our kids thing like our first tendency is humans has always been to blame. Listen to this. Listen Genesis. Three verse nine. This is actually right. The very first time we see sin enter the picture Adam and eve decide to turn their back away from God to make their own decisions. It's decide I wonder. If God's design isn't the best and of I wonder if I should kind of make my own rules and do the life the way that I want to do life and then they sin and this is what happens in verse nine Genesis Chapter Three but the Lord God called to the man and said to him where are you and he said I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid great because I was naked and hid myself. He said who told you that you were naked. Have you eaten from the tree which I commanded you not to eat. The man said listen to this first of all the man said the woman whom you gave to me. She gave me the fruit of the tree and I ate verse thirteen. Then the Lord got to the woman what is it that you've done. The woman said the serpent deceived me and I ate super super fast and fascinating. God says to Adam what have you done he says. Well that's this woman. You gave me giving me a better woman. I probably wouldn't have eaten the fruit turn fault. And then he asked the woman eve. Hey what did you do. Did you give some fruits. Your husband will you gave me the serpent. The serpent's here had he not been here. I probably wouldn't have the fruit. Everyone's passing blame to another person. It's literally been in the very first pages of the story of humanity from the very start When when we do something that's frustrating? We get in trouble or something that we don't like our first reaction is to blame. Just I mean you know this girl like you've got kids and you ask your kids. What did you do the first thing my kids do this all the time well? He made me while she made me while they started it. And we get mad at our kids for that right like Croatia until our kids. Hey own up take responsibility. What did you do? Is there something you need to be responsible for. Apologize for but just watch yourself and how much you wants to blame other people. This happens to me all the time you know when it happens most like when you're most aware that you are blaming as usually usually when you get hurt this is the funniest thing that we all do this like you. You could stub your toe in the middle of an empty living room. When you're by yourself and you just the first thing like who put the WHO? Who put the couch there? Who What Kid? Why did you like? We're just immediately starting to blame somebody like somebody else's responsible for this It's our first reaction isn't usually comes out when we're hurt but we always find ourselves when we're frustrated like who can I pass the blame off to and so when our kids are being disobedient when in our marriage isn't thriving when our household feels chaotic. Are I thought like naturally this is just you and your human sinful. DNA your first thought is who who can I be mad at who is responsible for this because certainly the subconscious thought is. It's certainly not me like there's no way I would be responsible for this and I guess what I'm kind of revealing myself or with the Holy Spirit really revealed in me just last night as I'm coaching these kids and soccer and then kind of had a more personal snow bigger experience as I get home and I see chaos in my home. My first thought was like who am I. Who can I blame? And then the holy spirit is kindness really revealed to me like what what is. Is it in your leadership that you need to own. Is there something here and you. Is there some lack of leadership in you that that may be contributing to this chaos. Guys want to take a quick minute to think my friends over at Mel Science for sponsoring this episode as a homeschool data. I'm always looking for ways to entertain my children that are also educational. Which is why I love Mel Science? Nelson's chemistry kits take a hands on approach that makes learning superfund Superfund Mel. Science is a chemistry subscription service. That send you monthly experiments to do with your children. They're a great way to engage kids in science early. Educate them in a superfund way and and get kids to conduct real scientific experiments with their own hands on your first month with your first box every subscriber receives a free starter kit with all the necessary equipment equipment to use during their whole subscription including a free virtual reality headset to use with the free. VR lessons every subscriber access to. There's over thirty. Chemistry topics is free shipping within the US. And some of the experiment you're going to do are a symbol of fully functioning battery growing crystals. Learn some of the basics of electronics and even launching a mini rocket ready to get started. It's easy get twenty five percent off plus a free starter kit. A free virtual reality headset and free shipping when you text tired to sixty four thousand texts tired to sixty four thousand to get this special offer from Mel Science and remember you support the show when you support where are sponsors. So Text T. R. E. D. to sixty four thousand message and data rates may apply Proverbs twenty nine eighteen says this where there is no vision. The People Perish. That's the King James version. That says that where there is no vision. Jn The people perish. Let's proverbs twenty nine eighteen. which super interesting about that and really the question that we as DADS have to ask ourselves is what what is perishing in our families in in our life as a result of our lack of vision and our lack of leadership like the very first question that we have to ask ourselves? Is there something dying in me in my family in my kids in my marriage edge as a direct result of my lack of vision and leadership. Meaning I don't really know where I'm trying to take my family And so as a result result things are failing and is it a connection. Like with your wife. Do you feel like you're marriage is like falling apart. Listen here's the truth everything. Everything is either moving toward death or it's moving toward life. Those are two options. Nothing just stays the way it is. Everything is moving toward death or toward life and so you have to ask yourself like marriage. Moving toward life is becoming more good as the as the scripture say at remember after God created things he said. This is good. This is good. This is good and then as a result of evil and send things start to move away from life and toward evil and broken nece and so you ask yourself like his mind marriages moving toward good like the way God designed things to be the beauty of marriage it God designed it to be or is it moving towards death as it moving toward broken. This is your relationship with your kids moving towards lie for it's like this is good. Can you look at your relationship with your kids the way the God looked at creation and say this is good. This is the way it was designed to be or is it moving towards Baroque inness and death. You relationship with God himself is it good Do you look at it and say Manda God's kingdom come as will be done in my relationship with God like this is the way God designed it to be. It's really good and beautiful and healthy or is it moving. Torch's death your your rhythm. Are you able to sustain a rhythm. week-to-week day to day is is your rhythm of life good or is it moving lean toward death and broken this your health your emotions your your ability to have self control like his. Do you feel yourself growing immaturity maturity and growing and self control or you feel like that is moving toward death and two broken this because the truth is where there is lack of vision and things will start to perish. Things will die and some thenia dying around you as a result of our leadership and our lack of vision and so we have to ask ourselves. I just point blank as a man. What is dying in me and in my family as a result of my lack of vision and leadership? And here's is what I mean like. Do you know where you're trying to go personally. And do you know where you're trying to help your family to go like you have a very clear vision of where you want to leave your family because the truth is when we don't when there is no vision everyone panics. I always felt this most when I was coaching soccer at practice. When we're doing outdoor and we show show it show up and I was always trying to like kind of wing it and I didn't really have a plan and the kids are being crazy and they're running all around and my first reaction against to blame because it's just chaotic and really? I'm just like I realized there's no plan here. There's no vision. And so everything feels chaotic. And it feels out of control and then I start getting mad at everyone because things are chaotic. When really I showed up without a plan and I think the same is true for us with the fan with our families when we're trying to lead them towards something and things feel chaotic or I should say when we're not leading the swords every anything and things start to feel chaotic and the houses crazy and our rhythms are crazy and our our schedules are crazy? And you you feel like you're not connecting with your wife with your kids and everything just feels like chaos around you and our first reaction is to blame. Blame your boss blame your work. Blame your hours. Blame your wife. Blame your kids disobedience or whatever but really you didn't show up with a plan or within a vision and so what else would there be except chaos and again there's grace man like I know that there's there's some very real circumstances that contribute to all of our chaos. I got a letter out of nowhere that said. Hey we you're gonNA there's no cause of action you need to be out of your house. By December thirty I that was a result of my bad leadership is just life circumstances hit and I get that. There's there's grace for that but even in the midst we know Again not to beat the the sports analogy here. But there's going to be things that happen in a game they're outside of your control and you can't blame what you do is you say okay. This is this week. Expected acted things to happen and yet we still come in with the plan. And that's what we do. As part of leading our families is really start to ask ourselves. We know life is going to hit. We know there's going to be chaos. That's outside of our control but what came we control. And what do I need to own and when you do have vision when you actually know this is where we want to go as a family so you can actually rest a little bit easier. And it's not just because you know where you want to go but you know how to celebrate little wins. Let me say that again. Because that's like super important when you have vision it actually will give you more rest. You will find yourself not being so short fused in yelling at your kids and being short tempered with them And being frustrated with your wife and again it's not just because you know where you want to go but you know how to celebrate little wins. Another way of saying this is you can't recognize can is a win if you don't know what the goal is if you don't know where you're trying to go if you don't know what you're trying to accomplish then how will you know to celebrate little things that are helping you get it there and so for like for again. I'm I'm sorry. I know not everyone's into sports. I'm not even like a super big sports guy like sports a lot but not like some crazy fanatics I like spores a group around him so I apologize for you. Know kind of beating the sports analogies here but obviously as a as a coach. I'm trying to help my my kids when games and develop and all that but really I want them just to alert like learn individual Skills I want them to learn team like how to be part of a team and work together rather You know there's a bunch of little stuff teaching him and and I know like these are all things I'm trying to move them towards As a coach and so when they do something little at practices is even something simple as make good pass you celebrate something really small are what feels insignificant. Because you know that little thing is helping you go towards the bigger goal that you're trying to accomplish if we are out there literally with no idea what we're trying to do then. It doesn't matter when you make a good pass or when a teammate encourages another not made or whatever because you don't know that that's a win because you don't know where you're trying to go and so for us as Dad's what we want to do is create vision like cast vision for our our family. This is what we are trying to accomplish as a family and then when little things happen you know this is worth celebrating And so let me try trying to make this like real practical here because I know some of you are probably getting stuck when you're even thinking I don't wear much friendly. My family like I just want my kids to be obedient and I want my marriage to thrive in like we. We have more sex and we have money in our bank account like what. That's my vision league. We're we're we're trying to go here okay. So let's step back from all of that right again. I I say this all the time. We're not just trying to change behavior. We're not try and change your own behavior. Our wives behavior kids. We always want to get to the heart of the issue right. Where was WANNA get? We want our hearts to be aligned with the good news of the Gospel and then that changes everything at the end of the day when we're old men and were sitting by God's grace and a big Ole lazy boy like a recliner chair share and were were looking out at our kids and we've been married for a long time and our kids love the Lord and we've got grandkids who are learning about. Jesus like these. Hopefully this. This is kind of our vision. Our goal as a dad right. So that's what we're moving towards. That's the that's the goal. That's the that's the long term plan is that we have been used by God to see a family. Generation continued to love him and follow him on the obedient to his word and to tell the world about his good news. I that's the goal. That's big picture stuff okay. So whatever. Whatever is Contributing to things outside of that we can just say no to that so for some of us need to hear that big picture like Bro. It doesn't matter like your kids if they're flunking Kindergarten math right now. Yeah whatever that Sox at the end of the day what. We're really trying to do. Who is help? Our Kids Fall in love with Jesus to be obedient to his word and to really love God and love people. Well we're trying to be men who are faithful to our wives the way that God has been faithful to us. We're trying to pass on a generational generation after generation legacy of people men and women who fall in love but she's US and who love people well as a result right like. That's really what we're trying to do so anything. That doesn't contribute to that big picture. We just say no like we. We don't have to focus focus on it. We don't have to get our emotions really higher low if it doesn't kind of push us towards that goal but for me. What I wanted to do is like okay? So that's the end goal but let's work all the way backwards awkward. Just I wanted to make this as practical again last night as those lay my head on my pillow I wanted to make this as practical as possible for like okay. I'm taking ownership. I'm staring in myself in the mirror and ask him. Where do I need to own and then I thought what do I need to do today or for me? I was going to bed that night so so I thought what do I need to do tomorrow morning. So that I get my team or my family in a position to move closer to that goal. I don't want my house to be chaotic. I think I don't want my family to feel like everything's kind of disorganized not functioning. Well I don't want my kids to be disobedient. But what does that look like for me tomorrow. Tomorrow will really what it means for me personally like tomorrow is that I'm actually more present with my kids because my personal schedule has been too busy and so my kids will feel chaotic when daddy schedule Inman Wami schedules chaotic. And when there's no rhythm in the House and the first thing that needs to like start to get tightened up is is my own personal schedule and rhythm and so for me tomorrow literally. I'm trying to make this as practical as possible for you like me tomorrow. Means I sit down with my calendar and I go week by week and I start to ask what things can I say no to so that I can be more present with my kids so that they get more eyeball time with daddy like that needs to happen today case. That's number one thing and then I ask like what needs to happen. This week. we have scheduled that we would have dates every birthday day of our kids. So my son's birthday is on the twenty second. My daughter's birthdays on the third and my other daughter's birthday on the twenty fourth forth so every month on those days we have a one on one day. Either Mommy or daddy gets us well to be totally honest with you. We've been slacking on those because of how busy schedule has been and as a result like we've fallen out of that rhythm I think our kids subconsciously feel that there's not this connection when Daddy's talking it's often. I'm I'm kind of reacting to their behavior. As as opposed to being proactive in just pursuing their hearts and part of me not being able to pursue their hearts have just missed one on one deep connection time so my first step for the day was to reassign my schedule and then my second set for the week was like I need to connect with my kids this week put on my calendars that I'm just one on one with them and I'm not being reactive to their behavior but I'm proactive. And chasing their heart and then the the last thing so again to break this down for you. It's like what do you need to do as as a coach as a as a parent as spiritual leader of your home. What do you need to do today? Like when he's the change today to help you get closer to that goal. What needs to change this week and then I would just just say what needs to change between now? What kind of exercises or things can you do differently between now and the end of the year? Don't even go crazy when you're thinking through having kids that love the Lord and are beaten to him when your old man like that can feel so ambiguous that you don't even know where to begin so just break it down when the change today. Usually it's schedule well things like that. That should probably for most of us. That's where a lot of things start in our schedule. So just ask yourself. Is there something that needs to change today. As there's something that needs to schedule can hear my daughter screaming mm-hmm. Is there something that needs to schedule this week. And is there something that needs to schedule. Between now and December thirty one and a lot of ideas could be like I. Is it a date night with your wife. When's the the last time you've just taken your wife on a date is your is there perishing in your marriage? Is there as your marriage in certain areas moving toward death because of lack of vision again. My vision is that I'm an old man on lit sitting on a recliner with a healthy marriage that I've lived that I've been in for a long time with kids who love the Lord. That's the long-term vision. So what needs to happen this week to make that happen. Well I need to like pursue my wife's heart this week or this month I need to make sure I get a day a on the calendar with her right or maybe a means of cutting my NFL. Sunday ticket Whatever subscription so that I can cut that time out and spended ended on Taking my wife or or taking giving my wife an opportunity to go fill her tank by saint. Hey Babe here's some money that we we've got now reallocating in the budget so you can go get your nails down. Go get a cup of coffee or go out with some girlfriends or whatever the thing is right. But we're we're just readjusting priorities So what needs to happen today when he's the happened this week and what needs to happen by the end of the year. Don't go crazy. Don't think two thousand twenty yet. Just think in the next month and a half. What would need to change in order for you to help move towards that vision but again set the vision in your heart? This is where I'm trying to go paint that mental picture in your head. Here's where I'm trying to lead my family and that's awesome but you also need to think through. You're not just trying to win a championship. You're trying to practice well this week. And so what would it look like for you this week. To make some adjustments so that your family doesn't feel chaotic and you're just putting the blame on them for you to look in the mirror to really ask like what what needs to change change on me and so I guess I guess men like if I if I wrap it all up your family Birlik it. They need vision. Y- they don't need you to blame them. Your your wife doesn't need you to blame her for the marriage and again I know this making general statements. Here there's all kinds. I don't know your personal situation but just for a man as a man to say like all right. I'm stepping stepping up like I'm you know. Look myself in the mirror what I need to own here and your family needs vision. They don't they don't need blamed. They need vision because when there is no vision things will perish. Something is going to die somewhere it will either move towards life or death and when there's no vision where there's no idea of what we're trying to go as a family things will start to die and so ask ask yourself like what what is it. That's dying as a result of my lack of vision and then bro like just seek the Lord Direction if you're stuck if you like. I don't know where we're trying to go. Seek the Lord James One five if any of you don't know if any of you lacks wisdom asked Lord and his generous he will give it to you. Ask The Lord for for wisdom repent rent got. I'm sorry that I've been passive or that. I haven't lead my family toward this. Would you be gracious enough. Would you forgive me. Helped me step into this this role so I can leave. My family will seek the Lord for direction repent ask for wisdom. Come up with a game plan again for today for this week and for this month breath and then again for the rest of the year vision always dictates values. That's like if you could remember one thing. This is what I wanNA leave you with the vision dictates vows values. Here's what I mean by that when you know where you're trying to go you know what you can focus on. You know the things that you can place value on. If I don't know where I'm going I'm going to start value in a bunch of dumb things. Fantasy Football Leagues let Sinar kids up for few extra things. Let's put more things on on the schedule. Let's say yes to this thing on that night or whatever because you don't really know where you're going but when your vision it starts to dictate things that you value. Well no I actually value. Oh you time. With my family I actually value with the Lord actually value time with a kind of a small group of people that I can invest my life to for the sake of making disciples and it changes the things that I value because I have vision vision dictates value And when you don't have vision menu just saying Yes to everything. Things feel chaotic. There is no Structure and things start to perish things around. You will start today. I hope that's helpful. I love you guys. I hope that makes sense to you again. WanNa give you one more reminder about that giveaway that we're doing the two hundred and fifty dollar Amazon Gift Card that you can pay for Christmas gifts for your family this year and if you want a free signed copy of the dead tired book when you make a donation to the data administer you automatically get that free book sent out to you and automatically get entered into win that two hundred and fifty dollar Amazon Gift Card. I love you guys as always I hope this self well have a great Thanksgiving Week. And I'll see you next week later

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We Stay Because God Stays (with Matthew West)

Dad Tired

42:02 min | 7 months ago

We Stay Because God Stays (with Matthew West)

"How's it going guys? Welcome back to the DAD. Tired podcast. I'm your host jeered lopes. Join me every Monday as we dive into what it looks like to be men who fall in love with Jesus and help our families do the same. You can learn more about our books resources conferences and even online community by going to DAD TIRED DOT com. Let's dive into today's episode will welcome back to the dead tired show. Glad to have you here. I know it's been a crazy last couple of weeks. I appreciate you guys still taking the time to listen many of you. Listen to this podcast. While you're at work or on your commute on your way to and from work and obviously all of our schedules have been changing as a result of Although Corona craziness and so if you're still making the time and effort to listen to this podcast it really does mean the world to me. Thank you for doing that. Make sure you subscribe so you don't miss any episodes. I'll probably post out some bonus episodes over the next couple of weeks as I just have more time sitting at home and then I normally would and so I wanNA keep you guys updated on all kinds of stuff that we have going One of those things being that we. We've got to new things happening over the next week. So the first one is you missed the last bonus episode that. I did this week. We are going to start doing a dad tired dad. Tired kids I Dunno contest isn't the right word but We're GONNA engage. The kids of Dad Tired. The way that we're doing that is by inviting your kids to memorize averse week and you can do this together as a family. It's a really cool way for you to engage in scripture together as a family as you're all home together and so the first verse that we're going through his Joshua one nine if you memorize that by this coming Tuesday Then we can go to. The Dad hired kids facebook page. And then I'm sorry not Tuesday Wednesday Wednesday march twenty fifth. If you go to the dead Tired Kids facebook page and upload a video of your child or children saying this verse by Memory. They'll be entered into a drawing where will give away a really cool prize to one of the kids that memorize is Joshua one and then we'll also give you a new verse that you can start over that next week and then on April first will pick another price and we'll just keep doing this as long as we're all stuck in houses we'll just keep finding ways to engage each other with the scriptures and stay Just moving towards Jesus so that being said we also have another thing that we're doing where we are inviting guys. The data dads to go through the debts. Hard book together and we're GONNA do virtual meetings via zoom and so if you WANNA be part of that as it currently stands. We have one hundred spots open for that or against as many zoom will let me. How many guys? They'll let me invite on this meeting with my current account So we're going to see. How many guys show up. If we have several more than one hundred trying to get in. Then I'll have to figure something else out on my end but for right now we're going to zoom meeting and we'll go through a chapter a week through the data book and you'll actually be face to face with me so we'll we'll do live video question and answer all ask some questions and just see how you're processing the information the book so if you WanNa be part of that make sure that you read Chapter One by March twenty fourth and an income. Meet US over on that zoom meeting. And we'll go through a DAD tired book Slash Bible Study Together. You can get all the information on that by going to dad tire. Dot Com forward slash. Study Again Dad. Tired DOT COM forward slash study. And that will get you all the information. You need there And then finally before we dive into today's amazing interview with Matthew West If you don't who Matthew West is you do know who he is. If you've ever listened to Christian music you've been singing his songs for probably years. He's incredible artists and it's a great interview. You'RE GONNA love it but before we get into that. I also want to just say thank you to my friends over Yippie for sponsoring today's episode. Don't fast forward this Because he is going to be very very helpful for you over the next several weeks if your kids like to watch youtube. Are they watch shows on Netflix or Amazon? Prime? Or whatever. And you're just looking for like all right. I don't WanNa look over their shoulder the whole time and figure out what they should be watching and not watching we have a subscription with the service. Yippie many of the shows on Yippie are Christian based not all of them but the ones that even aren't are just good value based content for kids. There's no ads. There are no commercials. You don't have to worry about things popping up that they shouldn't be watching. You can let your kids have some screen time while they're at home away from school during this time and you can just know that like the stuff that they're watching is good value based content So we have a deal for you Me and the team worked out where you can sign up for a three month subscription and get twenty five percent off that three month subscription by going to die. I'm sorry going to Yippie Dot TV and then using the Promo Code Dad tired so again you can sign up for subscription month-to-month but you'll get twenty five percent off your first three months when you go to Yippie DOT TV and enter the Promo Code. Dad Tired And that's why I p P. E. DOT TV again the super helpful for you guys As were all home and we're probably looking at screens more than we normally would and you just want to thank our kids watching stuff that I don't have to worry about definitely going to want to check out. Yippie for that and that has they have APPs on all this streaming channels so like any. What if you have a Roku or Amazon? Tv or apple. T. whatever it is like you can get their APP and have your kids watch this and it's really really good content so again. Yippee DOT TV use the Promo Code Dad Tired and get twenty five percent off That being said let's dive into today's interview with my new friend. Matthew West you're the God Hussein Matthew so grateful man that you took the time to hang out with us today For the listeners. Who may not be familiar with you? And what you're doing. Maybe just tell us what you're up to these days man. Yeah well first of all. Thanks for having me. It's getting talk to you. And all the dads out there who are listening I'm dead to. Maybe that's a good place to start My wife and I have been married for sixteen years and we have to two daughters so I'm living in a house full of women and so I guess that's my first prayer request to the podcast but no buts I'M A. I'm a singer and songwriter and put out several records over the years. Most of my music is in Contemporary Christian music in I started my career. Writing songs like behind the scenes for other recording artists. Just as a full time songwriter. Mostly because all the record labels said no to me for about three years and These days these days I find myself Were no two days are are the same really On tour right now casting crowns myself or on a tour together in a play about one hundred shows a year I've had the opportunity to continue writing songs as well behind the scenes for other projects and then Enjoyed really beginning to Write books and devotional. My Dad and I have a nonprofit ministry that that sends out Weekly devotional sue a subscriber list. Every you know Throughout the year and just a lot of neat things that I get to do in ministry that that get me excited to wake up every day. That's amazing I want to dive into a lot of what you just said and kind of get into some. You know more serious things before we do have to ask are you. You're not a chief's Fan are you You know I'm a if I say that people say I'm a bandwagon fan but I'm actually from Chicago but I have this like strange connection with the city of Kansas City Just by way of some friendships that have developed over the years and I was long story short. I was on a tour bus in Kansas City. Doing a concert in somebody knocked on the door of our bus and I opened the door and it was the general manager of the Kansas City. Royals in okay. I thought to myself what is my life and today you know my daughter plays your music recitals. I heard you're a baseball fan which I am. I'm a huge baseball fan sports fan and he goes. I thought you might like some royals year. So that struck up a friendship and I wore all these royal shirts when I worked out and stuff you know made me feel like I was a professional baseball player and up. He brought me in and I sang it. Some of the royals games at a blast doing that and so I just became a royal span and then just on a totally different occurrence. I wound up meeting Clark Hunt who were the owners of the Kansas City chiefs in? It was so bizarre like our family was on vacation in. My daughter took a horseback riding class in. She came out of the class. She's like I made a new friend and one of the other little girls in the class. They became buddies in so the parents do what they do. You know you meet the parents as your is. Your daughter's make friends in turns out. It was the owner of the Kansas City chiefs in. They listen to my music and they said we we'd love and you come and sing it achieve scam so next thing. I know I'm standing there with the Chiefs Jersey on at the fifty yard line singing the national anthem in front of eighty thousand. Die Hard fans and you know you haven't experienced like that hidden in even though you have your roots in Cheering for your childhood teams. You kind of adopt these other teams along the way by by way of experience in connection. So that's my long way of saying that's how I feel. I qualify as a Kansas City chiefs. Fan Well it was so nice having you today man Grateful that get need to cut this short It'll be praying for wisdom that God protect you from the schemes of the evil one which only say patriots. Yeah well we all say that the Patriots fans ro Everyone can root against Patriots. Sure No I think I think that's definitely qualifies you The the shared experience builds intimacy there. Now you get that pass. I think you're That's cool but under here more. Go ahead that's been one of the fun parts of just You know I think a lot of musicians which they were athletes and vice versa. And so you know I get to do a lot of neat things but when I get to step on a football field or a baseball field you know. It's not quite as I envisioned it as a kid because I thought I'd have a baseball bat in my hand or shoulder pads on but instead I've got a microphone and it's just those moments where I sort of smile and go Kay Lord. You're the one who plans to dream in our hearts in we only understand a glimpse at a time it so right but it is kind of those. Those are some neat moments in my career that I've been able to enjoy it really soak up. That's amazing I actually talked to. Loughrey last week in the cray was saying that he's undrafted for every professional sports team. He's ready to play on all he's built man he's built for like. I think he could probably still make switch. He Looks Yeah. He definitely looks like he could. I'm I'm definitely past my prime although I always tell the the GM the royals man. I'll text him and be like. Hey Man I noticed. You're you're short on lefthanded pitching. He's never taken me up on my offer you'll last year. They lost one hundred games and I was like even now. You don't want me to give me on the bench even if I'm deep like yeah. That's hilarious did tell me about the devotional thing that you have going on with your dad you obviously have a close relationship with your dad. It's Kinda something I wanted to talk to you about today. But I'd love to hear more about the devotional thing that you guys have gone but also just like Your relationship with your dad growing up. Yeah well The ministry that we started is Really just designed to be an extension of you know mom ministry from the stage as an artist a lot of times even Christian music in stopped short at entertainment in some ways. You know it's like you play your last song. Thank you good night. You know and one of the things that's been important in you know in my career in my platform that I feel like the Lord's really shown me whenever I get a chance to be on stage whenever possible to make sure that I don't leave any unfinished business on the table and what I mean by that is basically doing for others. What Billy Graham did for me when I was a thirteen year old kid I prayed as Jesus into my heart watching a billy Graham crusade several years later I got to meet Billy Graham. I sat at his kitchen table and drank rubare together. And I got to tell him how his ministry impacted me and he encouraged me to make sure that you know to use my platform of music for something other than just entertaining. And that's why if anybody ever comes to see me to a concert a more times than not. There's going to be a prayer at the end of that night. I'm going to give people an opportunity for anybody who's who's never said yes to Jesus before or maybe it's been a minute since they've talked to Jesus to give a chance to do so and then we want to create the materials in opportunities for those who would seek it out to go deeper in their faith in. So That's where my dad comes in. My Dad's been a pastor for forty years. He pastored at the scene church in the Chicago. Suburbs for thirty eight years. It's all I knew that's where I grew up Our Church was right. Our House was right behind the church. There was a big field. That connected the church in our house and I would run through that field Daily you know coming home from school to go see mom and dad. 'cause they were working at the church is just a small community church in the suburbs of Chicago. Kind of in the shadows of big churches like Willow Creek and so that was my upbringing. And my dad. You Know My dad and I really do like you said we have a great relationship. And he travels with me fulltime now so I called him up one day and I just said Dad you know I feel like something's going on and my music career. I started Collecting People's stories from the road in which is a lot of people hurting and they were hurting on a level where I felt ill equipped to be able to adequately respond to that person. Who's contemplating suicide? That person who's sharing about childhood abuse it. They don't know how to handle things that were they. I just I daily feel like I'm out of my in want to surround myself with people who can not only help me help me in helping others. In one of the first calls I made several years ago was my father and I said Hey. Would you ever consider a second act in your ministry? You know you've been at that church for thirty eight years. What would it look like for us to be ministry together? He prayed about it and after about a year he and my mom moved to Nashville where they live with us. Now in my dad travels on the road with US. Part of our ministries function is that he coordinates prayer volunteers in every city. And and then after the concert like last night. We were in Albany New York in my and prayer volunteers long after I'm done singing. They're out in the lobby just train with people and taken down prayer requests in letting people share. What the Lord's doing in their life at that concert and It's just a really special thing. And then part of the extension that ministry is that we we send out something we call day one divas to right now. We have a subscriber list of about sixty thousand people who are just receiving A. It's it's no cost. It's just something that I want to give the people a weekly devotion where they can just get a little quick hit in their email as a reminder of the importance of spending time with Jesus so So that's just a little bit of what our ministries doing it is a thrill to be able to work together with my dad and also to see my dad. Have that second act. I think he has done given at that church for so long that you know sometimes you can be at one job for a long time. Even if it's in ministry you gotta go well. Am I good for anything else? Is there anything does God still have a planter me? So it's been really thrilling to see you know my dad's step into his second acting for it to be something where we can partner together. That's amazing dude. And and the way that you just talked about your dad and thinking through like I want to surround myself with people who are GonNa help me and also helped me help other people and the fact that your dad was the one of the first people that came to mind and now you guys are doing ministry together broke like for most of US young. Dad's that's what we want one like. That's the goal like to be able to for our kids to one day. Say Like Dad. I respect you so much I wanna like I wanna include you in my life including my spiritual journey. What do you think your dad did like? Do you have some specific things that you feel like your dad did with you when you were a kid. That's like just you help get you to the place where you are now. We're like you look back and you still respect your dad. Obviously the road goes one of two ways. Either kids bail because like dude. I was grown up in this. It was pushed on me. I you know I. I'm leaving this whole thing which we see the statistics. Prove that out or they take the weapon. You're on which is like not do. This is my dad has shaped who I am and as a result I love Jesus more like what. Give us some insight for us. That didn't ask dad's into that will the first thing I would have to say. Is I think growing up. I didn't realize just how in the minority I was Yeah that I had a mom and dad that that stayed together by no means a perfect Family there's no such thing but but they stuck it out in a dad who was constantly in the mix with his kids in faithful to his wife. You know growing up you don't you don't necessarily you're not faced with the reality that that's not always the norm and I look back now and I'm like man will no wonder so. Many of my buddies were gravitated to my dad. Like like I mean it. There was there was a connection that Motte friends had with my dad. That like was was special. You know and it was because of what they weren't getting at home in so my dad was not only a bad of me and my brothers but man he was a real father. Figure to a lot of my buddies. You know I would say some of the things that I look back on in my dad's upbringing the way he raised me That helped me not one to not turn my back on the church or face. You know I would see when when you're a preacher's kid you see the inner workings like you know you see. This is not much favorite analogy. But you see how the sausage is made like the the one that comes to mind you know like I'm not saying it's all ugly and bad but like sometimes you see how mean people in Church can be you know and and as a teenager in different seasons of my life I would get in particular. Just get really upset about the way people were treating my parents or my family or maybe just it just felt like there. Some people just had an agenda against our family in instead of lifting up in honoring this family and my mom and dad for all the work. They're doing it just felt like they were being stepped on the I. A lot of anger you know as a teenager and that would rise up in me and my dad was one of the things my dad said to me. That really has always stayed with me. Like look son. If you look and try to find God if your view of God comes only his people you're GonNa be let down like if you look at the people around you even in the church. You are going to be disappointed. I'm even going to disappoint you because that all what we all have in common is that we're all human and we're all gonna fail and that's why your faith in. God needs to be a personal relationship when you look to him. He's the only one who will not let you down so you can't look to other people and not expect to be let down at some point in while they're while there was kind of a heavy dose reality in that like yet he's saying people are GonNa let you down. I just took from that so much truth of just like wait a minute. My relationship with the Lord needs to be so tight that nothing can get in between at night even my view of other people who call themselves Christians but maybe don't treat mafia way. That was something that helped. I really look back and go. Kay that helped my heart from becoming hardened you know even though there were times where it's like Manna. This is what Christians are. I don't want anything to do with it. Bending ultimately the way that my dad helped navigate. Those roads kept me from going down that road. The other thing I would just say is like my parents always taught me about the importance of a personal relationship with Christ in not just a family relationship in you here we are in ministry and it was like that was our family job but the fact that God desired. Something more than that in me Was was something that always stuck with me and and really the last. Even though there's a longer list than this I would just say my Dad's availability to me in my brother's like I never wondered if I was a priority him and that he would he would. He would work his schedule to make sure that he didn't miss a single game that he he was he was just there. He was always there he was always instill is my biggest supporter. My biggest fan You know even to to to a point where you know I mean I. He had me believe in. I can I can make it to the Major League Baseball Player and he still tells people all Matthew was the greatest baseball player ever. And I'm like that you know that wasn't true or else I'd be playing right and you know I just think when you know like when someone's your biggest fan it's like gosh you know. Take that for granted in younger years but these days I look back and go okay in here in the biggest thing is just like. I'm thankful the say that there is more about the way my dad raised me that I hope to replicate. Then there is that I would hope to do away with you know. There's there's more history than I do. Hope repeats itself in our realize that again. I'm in the minority. My wife would say the exact opposite about her childhood in In in so we we bring those different perspectives into our own family. I'm it makes me even when I talk about it in interviews like this. It makes me remember to be thankful for the DAD that I've had in that the Dan that I do have yup whenever I teach a conferences and we have a section where we talk about how. We're just trying to be the kinds of dads that most of us didn't have it. I always say like if you if that's not you like if you can't relate to that and you're like do. I want to be like my dad Do like you needed like texture dad or call him right now or give them a hug if he's still around and just be like dude. Thank you so much And and what a gift man. What a gift that. You don't know that other side of things like that. There's nothing to be ashamed over. Sorry about that that. That's the that's God's grace all over you man and that that's such a gift borough that's a i. I love here in that. I was taking notes as you're sharing like Just eat what stuck out to me too. Is the availability piece of that? Like just you saying that you you never question where. Your Dad's priority was. I think that's going to stick out to a lot of people who are listening guys. I hope you're enjoying the interview so far. I want to take a minute and think our friends over at abide for sponsoring this episode. If you're not familiar abide is the number one Christian. Meditation APP ABIDE USERS report that they have less stress lower levels of anxiety and depression. And even sleep better. So if you find yourself like when you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is look at your phone or maybe you have a hard time falling asleep at night or maybe you're just dealing with stress and anxiety a highly recommend that you download the abide APP. It's going to take you through. Meditations that are based on Scriptures. Things that get you thinking about the word and truths of the Gospel there. Meditations are easy to use an easily fit into your busy schedule. If future topics like overcoming anxiety managing stress addiction and recovery finding forgiveness and all kinds more for a limited time. Our listeners will get twenty five percent off premium subscription. When you visit a by dot co Ford Slash. Dad Get started now with twenty five percent off a premium subscription by downloading the abide APP at abide dot co Ford Slash Dad. You'll get additional stories. And Meditations premium music soothing. Sounds and more support this show and get twenty five percent off by going to abide dot co forward slash dad. That's A. B. I d. e. dot co slash data to download the abide APP and get twenty five percent off your premium subscription. One of the things that I was curious about. Because you mentioned this when you're talking about your dad there is kind of it was kind of like your guys job for lack of better words. You said that you guys are in ministry right and this is what you guys do for work and I was thinking about. You just like you know you're on stadiums and you're leading people in worship in you're putting words into the mouth of the bride of Christ to sing back to the groom like you. You've got a big responsibility in the role of our A- and your role in the kingdom I was just thinking like what do you do in the seasons where you know for lack of better words you just feel far from God are you? Filled by Gerard is like I don't really I don't feel like standing on a stage or writing songs about God right now like wh- what do you do personally in those seasons of life? Well first of all that happens a lot You know I'm I'm up and down and in when I get depressed I get depressed you know so I mean I. I'd love to tell you that. Like oh man. What do I do in those seasons? Aw I just you know. I just keep persevering but the reality is there's some days where my head's under a pillow and I'm just like I'm I'm just like just shut the world out for a minute. I got I got. I gotta get myself together here. You know so. It's funny you mentioned that. It's funny that you phrase the question. In that way. Though about feeling far from your faith speakers the record that I just released is really steeped in that That that stage of life. And there's there's a there's a picture on the cover of the record of me as an adult me now sitting on this blue couch and the blue couch has significance Not just because it was a cool blue couch that I saw but because when I was thirteen years old and I'm sitting on a blue couch in my childhood home in Chicago watching a billy Graham Crusade and asking Jesus into my heart. That's mine. That was a moment for me. That's what I call my brand new moment. You know. That was the moment where my mom sat with me and upgrade and I vividly remember a change in my life. I remember that that was the first time that I really liked called on Jesus and these days men of I've lived a lot of life since then and you know. I'm a professional Christian singer and plan shows in in some days. If I'm honest I feel like I'm a long way away from that. Thirteen year. Old Kid who didn't know as much as I know now but I did know that. Like all of my heart. One hundred percent of my heart belong to Jesus in that moment and These days I convicted thinking. Gosh is the most excited that I ever demonstrate my faith. Is it during the time when I'm on stage and then when I come off the stage just like clocking out from ministry and feeling like we're where is my faith really like where is in my am. I looking the part in forgetting to actually like live the part. What's the strength of my quiet time? Those kinds so honestly like these songs that I write are kind of my way like. They're almost meet talking to myself like there's a song on the new album called brand new in that song is me talking to myself saying do it's as you feel like a million mistakes in a million miles away from the first time faith of a child in it's sort of like it's like. I'm beating myself up because Gosh I feel like I'm so far away from that faith but then on being reminded that God knows I'm not the finished version of myself yet in the enemy wants that knowledge to be something that separates me from closeness with God. Meanwhile God's wanting that knowledge that I'm still a work in progress to draw me closer to him and depend on 'em Realize that hey you're a new creation in this moment but you're not yet not yet the finished result in so it's in that area where. I live where I wrestle where I struggle and where I keep fighting in at the end of the day I think the one thing that always keeps me running into the arms of God is the fact that even when I'm thinking those things like just the fact that I'm thinking about the struggle or thinking about Gosh. I wish I read my Bible more means that my heart is pointing in the direction of the God. Who loves me and I feel like mercy in that and I and I that mercy is what keeps me going? Even when I don't feel like my faith is on fire Daddy. That's a good word Bro. And I hope that for guys listening right now like you hear that in let that truth sink and that Matthew just shared do. That's that's a good word because the truth is like that's the Holy Spirit continuing to work in you. Which if the Holy Spirit were in in you? You wouldn't be feeling are non. Christian friends aren't like convicted about those things right. So it's just the fact that the Holy Spirit is continuing to to work in you to make you continuing to save you and make you knew and redeem you redeem the broken parts of you. So that's a good word man in a in a Viking. Right from those broken places in those. That's where when I'm at my most Kinda vulnerable like when I'm writing songs that I need to hear. Those tend to be the songs that somebody else needs to hear too but man but it's funny enough. Anybody ever comes to a concert or sees a Christian artist. I mean there's GonNa be those shows where it's like my wife and I are on the phone like arguing twenty minutes before I get on stage because I've been out of town for three days and the kids. Are you know talking back? And then you're like in it's like literally if I'M GONNA go on stage and like act like I got it. All together lured only. You'RE GONNA help me speak to people tonight. So that's that's real life right there. Yep Yep yeah I appreciate you sharing that honestly. I think that'll be refreshing. I mean that is refreshing for a lot of us to hear You've talked about a couple times like the you say prayer When you were thirteen. How do you approach that? How do you how do you approach? Just with your own. Kids them surrendering their life to. Jesus is it like this process of like over years like they start to. You can just see the fruits of the spirit working in them was in an actual like you're encouraging them to actually make a decision for Christ. Have you got to that point yet in your parenting? Yes so my oldest just turned fourteen in my youngest just turned eleven Recently in you know we're Kinda in that process right now. It's funny though like early early on. I talked to him a lot about that about just trying to again to sort of replicate the things that I was told as a child. Just the importance of. Hey you know because here's the deal like it might look different. I'm not technically a preacher. At a Church. But guess what? My daughter's like ministry is. Kinda family business too and so if I'm not careful like they're gonna see oh like okay. That's what dad does he sings about. Jesus it's our family. Outta just does that but like is it. Real like are they. Seeing Dad actually pursue a personal relationship with Christ are they. Are they seeing mom do that? You know some of my favorite memories are like walking by my parents bedroom and like hearing my mom praying for me. You know. And it's like I want. I want my daughters to not like I'm GONNA stage that or anything but I'm saying like I want my daughters to like see a genuine walk with Christ in. I don't always succeed in that because so many times on focused on the business of what I gotta do because I gotta run a business doing. It's tough but But it's funny early on like I remember my oldest daughter. She was like four or five years old and I was chatting with her about you know it was Easter time in house. Like you know so Jesus across for you and I and I was just having read this coffee date and I was just talking to her about this stuff and she was soaking it all up and I said you know what Lulu like you ever talk to Jesus and ask him into your heart. All you have to do is pray and you could just come and tell mommy or daddy and we would love to pray with you and I was probably getting a little too like a two overzealous with a five year old. She she looks at me. She says I'm I I want to do that. I'm ready Oh okay so. We sat down on the bed and are better in letter in this little prayer Dear Jesus she repeated after me and then at the end of the prayer she said Amen and I looked at her and asked like Oh honey. How do you feel right now? And she thought for a second. She's like I'm thirsty like an I'm thinking all like thirsty for righteousness and she's like she's like I get a cup of milk like okay. Well maybe it didn't claim she was ready to move onto snacktime but do like to think of it like you know my parents planted seeds and then it happened in a moment where. I'm watching a billy Graham Crusade for me a dad. Maybe it's going to be about planting some seeds. And then it's GonNa be a youth pastor who's GonNa you know help bring it home or it's GonNa be a conference that she goes to and and And so that's in that process right now. I'm just trying to like to live the part for them to see. I'm trying to encourage them that every now and then I'll just mention like hey. If you've been reading your Bible lately and in my daughter will say I read it every night before I go to bed. Now that's incredible. That's great you know but not like not trying to be heavy handed on that But also just little reminders when I feel like the Lord puts it on my heart. Try to just make a mention in an encouragement to them. That's awesome man One thing that has been fun. The last couple of weeks is My kids have just as they're getting ready for school or hear them getting ready in the bathroom there just singing your song constantly. The God who stays and so. That's been like repeat in our house and in the car is we're driving around and just just hearing them seeing that it's been super fun but the heartbeat behind that song is I'm I'm just in love with it. The I mean just the tidal on the God who stays what I tell guys. All the time is like if you really knew that if you believed it It would change the way that you parents. It would change the way that you love your kids and your wife and that's really the good news man that the Bible should be one page long. God should have bailed right like he should have just said like what the won the world. I said this is exactly as it was designed to be. And you're the one that turn your back on me. But God doesn't bail he stays and that's why the Bible is thousands of pages long because it's God's stain and his relentless pursuit of us and so I guess really. I just love to hear the heartbeat behind. Like what you were thinking and what you were feeling as you wrote that song and just really reminding guys like dude if you feel like you can't approach God or you can't be the spiritual leader of your home because you feel too far from God or he wouldn't WanNa be around you because you're too messy like can you just remind them through your song. Also just do the good news of the God of the Bible like they're they're believing in a different God than the God who stays well. That's first of all I mean. That's just a great word that you just shared in. You know what I think about like you know the reality of just I spend a lot of time in my life beating myself up more time than I than than necessary you know and always had this image of like you ever. You ever bought a pay per view fight you know and you get these stem. When I was a kid. It was like a Tyson. Fight also says rented the pay per view fight. We'd all go over and watch and I always had this image of like. Could you imagine what would happen? If like the two fighters step into the center of the ring they ring the bell and then all of a sudden you know just started punching himself in the face and the other boxer urges like what would the other box doesn't even have to throw a punch and just backs up while the other guys doing a number on himself in a lot of times I like I have that image of how I live my life and I think a lot of people out there do that where it's just like you know the enemy's going man. I got you I got you knocked down. But you're the one keeping yourself down by beating yourself up and then so. I think that's where like the God who stays really comes from that for me just that a friend once said to me if you ever feel the distance between you and God God is never the reason. He's the he's the one who closes distance. He's the one who builds or built the bridge. He's the one who crosses the canyon the the great divide the distance between us. He's the prodigal father who runs to the sun in the Bible. I love it you know. You can reach scriptures thousand tires on the thousand times something new sticks out to you in in a net scripture most recently reading the words while he was still a long way off and I love that in that scripture where the prodigal son he's making his way back home. I mean head hung filled with Shane. He blew it and he's GonNa come Begged his father for goodness while he was still a long way off. The father came running out to meet. Now that's the picture of a God who stays he stays waiting stays watching. He leaves the ninety nine to come in find. Every single one of US messed up people in say guess what has still love you in and I love that we. We like to think of items in this world that have Value are are items that have staying power right in the music industry. We talk about that. A lot with artists like boo. He's not a one hit. Wonder he's got staying power you know and I think about like okay. God has staying power in when we tap into that knowledge that there's one who's not given up on us then that turns around and gives us power and confidence to approach the rest of our relationships with that same determination to be the dad who stays to be the husband who stays to go you know. What are I even if I came from a Jack Up upbringing? Even if I came from a family where people didn't stick around I can be the one who breaks those chains dysfunction. With God's help in I can begin anew legacy that shows my kids what it looks like to be a dad who's faithful to mom a dad. Who's not perfect? But who's WHO's constantly in the mix in committed making himself available to his children in. We can mirror the relationship we have with God God's faithfulness to stay with us through thick and thin and with his help. We can mirror that for our children and that's going to help them understand. What kind heavenly father. They have because their earthly father stuck around and their earthly father stayed. He wasn't perfect but he stayed. There's only one father who is perfect. Our job is to mirror to the best of our abilities. What it looks like to be a dad husband In person who stays in the mix with those who he loves. Bro could not have said that any better. Thank you man. Thank you for sharing the good news of Jesus with us. Thank you for pointing us back to Jesus in the Good News of the Gospel to the God who stays. I'm grateful they took the time to hang out with us today. Man You're do. You're good dad. I'm grateful to get to meet a man thank you. I enjoyed this in Inc keep up the great work. You're doing some awesome things and this is something that you know. Dads need to know like We all need some help and we all need some encouragement so this was good for me today and I look forward to talking to you again soon. Man He leans now heart from the gods.

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For The Dad Who Is Hiding

Dad Tired

35:23 min | 4 months ago

For The Dad Who Is Hiding

"How's it going? Guys Welcome back to the DAD. Tired podcast. I'm your host Lopes. Join me every Monday as we dive into what it looks like to be. Men Who Fall in love with Jesus and help our families do the same. He can learn more about our books, resources, conferences, and even online community by going to dad tire dot, com? Let's dive into today's episode. Guys Welcome back to the DAD, tired podcast, good to be here with you a lot of you guys are just stumbling upon the podcast for the first time likely in an effort to find more resources for you as a dad I know there are very few of those resources out there, so I'm glad that you're here. Man I'm glad that you found us. We're just A. A bunch of guys who are trying to figure out what it looks like for us to lead our family well, and we're all kind of stumbling through that together. So if that's you, you find the right place. We'd love to meet you and have you part of our little community. You can do that by going to dad tire DOT com. There's two important links on. On that data dot com number one is the community tab in that will link over to a close group that we have on facebook. We got about twelve thousand guys from all over the world. Who are taking this stuff seriously, so come hang out with us over there, and then we also have a free book so if you go to death her dot com slash. Slash Free Book. It's ten practical ways that you can start leading your family. Jesus today it's a short read and very practical way for you to get started and spiritual leadership as of like today, so that's a great way to start today. We're going to pick up on some of the topics that we're talking about last week if he didn't listen to last week's. which was titled Something to the effect of you can't lead where you haven't been around that If you haven't listened to that already, I highly recommend that you go back and listen to that one first and then today's episode might be helpful as kind of a follow up to that It's actually a message that I gave a couple years ago. Ago at a church as a guest speaker on, but I just think ties in really well, too with with what we were talking about last week. So I think that's GonNa. Be Helpful for you today. again as a follow up to to what we're talking about last week before we dive into that though I. Do want to thank my friends over at. At blinking for sponsoring today's episode, I love Lincoln's. It's one of the most used APPs on my phone. You can hear my baby going in the background, which is a good tie for me and talking about blink. We have very little time for us to actually sit down and quite into. Read a book I know. Very few of us can find the time. Time to do that without all the screaming and chaos, and so two like to finish a book as a young Dad, who's trying to be husband, a dad and work, and all the savages? It feels impossible. I used to read a lot before I had kids now i. hardly ever read, and that's why I love links. What they do is they condense? Thousands of nonfiction books, fifteen minutes, or less that you can either read or listen to you. I like to listen to a few books before I go to bed at night. They even now have a full audio books. That's a brand new feature that they have but I like to listen to the fifteen minute. Versions of Books Again 'cause Young Dad's. That's kind of the best way, but if you have the time, you can also do full length audio books, and and even some podcasts on there as well so really cool things for you to find to get some good information. There's over. Over fourteen million people who are listening to blink us right now makes sense because there's just a lot of good books on there for a very short amount of time. There's two books that I'd recommend to you. Number one is why we sleep by Matthew Walker. If you're tired, dad and you're just wondering like. Why do we need sleep? And how do we get better sleep? That's going to be a good one. I've listened to a couple podcast episodes with him. He does a great job which is breaking down sleep general and then one of my favorite books. I've mentioned many times, but the ruthless. Hurry by friend John Mark Comber, a great book to listen to If you don't have the time to read the whole thing. Definitely, check out the blink version right now for a limited time Pelinka's has a special offer just for audience. GO TO BLINK DOT COM slash tired. D. To. Start, your free seven-day trial get twenty five percent off blinking premium membership up to sixty five percent audiobooks yours to keep forever. That's blink kissed spelled B. L. I.. N. K. I S. T.. LINCOLN DOT COM for slash tired to get twenty five percents off a premium membership and save, and and a seven day free trial blink dot com slash tired. Let's dive into today's episode. Community started even before humanity. Did we believe as followers of Jesus that there was God the Triune God God the Father God the Son. God the Holy Spirit where in community with each other, and this is like A. New To church, or even if you've been in church long time, this is a still a hard concept to grasp, but there are three distinct persons in the trinity, and yet they're enjoying each other and community, and then God says let us create humans and our image what he's doing saying. Let's expand the circle of community. Let's invite other people into this community, and so God begins to create creates the heavens and the earth, and the stars and the mountains, and and all the beautiful things ever. Poetic he says this is good. This is good. This is good, and then he creates his most prized possession, humanity, man and woman. He says this is really good. He can pats himself on the back on that. This is really good. He says it's not good. So first time we see in scripture say something's not good. Even before Sandy says it's not good for man to be alone, so let's create for him a helper and so god creates a. A woman out of Adam. He again is continuing to expand this community. Expand the circle, invite more people, and to enjoy him, and so he creates humans, and the very beginning of the story. Everything is like awesome. If you start to read this grand story of God and the very first pages of scripture like man, this is this is really good. Things look really good, he he says he places them. In the Garden of Eden Everything's beautiful there naked. I was like saying that word in church there naked. And Unashamed which is beautiful, right? There naked and they love it, and they enjoy each other and got says be fruitful like make babies have fun. Enjoy each other. Enjoy the earth. Enjoy the garden. Good. And then the Bible says that there's one who's more crafty than all the others. The Serpent Satan comes up to eve and tempts eve with this thought. He says this did God really say that you can't eat from any of these trees. Is that what God said no, he didn't say he. He actually said the opposite. He said you can eat from any tree in the garden, except for the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Very first words out of Satan's mouth is a lie. The very first time we see Satan show up in the story. He's a deceiver. God. Really say that you can't eat from any of these trees and she said No. Got said we can eat from any tree except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Or will die. He said YOU'RE NOT GONNA die. If you eat of it. Your eyes will be opened and you'll be like you'll. You'll know good and evil. Satan wasn't really tempting. E with a piece of fruit. Keep in mind. Where is she? The Garden of Eden. There's no sin. There's good fruit everywhere. She literally could like. Turn around and grab amazing fruit. Fruit is not the temptation that Satan presented that day, the the temptation that Satan presented that day. Was this thought? Hey? I wonder if God's holding out on you. I wonder if you could actually find satisfaction outside of everything God's given you. I wonder if there's something other than what God has given, you hear that could give your heart more joy. Now listen. Satan is his tactics are incredibly effective. If we just took the rest of today and went person by person, and talked about how Satan and the broken. This of this world has affected our lives. We would spend years on it. His tactics are incredibly effective, but they're not new. The same lie that Satan whispered into Eve's ear in the garden of Eden and Hey, I wonder if there's something other than God, that could satisfy your soul as the same temptation and lie that he puts in my head in your head today. All of us struggle with this. Hey, I wonder if there's something other than Jesus, that could give my soul more satisfaction, and so we pursue all kinds of things every day. It's actually the root of all of our sin, as that all of us are chasing something other than Jesus to give our heart joy and hope in satisfaction. And so eve seen that the apple or the fruit was good takes of it, and she eats it, and then she passes it to passively dumb husband, who's standing there silent and the whole thing is oh, yeah own. Subdued to. And that's where we pick up in the store. If you have a Bible turn with me to genesis chapter, three verse eight, and they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves in the presence of the Lord. God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to man and said to him. Where are you? And he said I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked and a hid myself. and. He said who told you that you were naked. Have you eaten from the tree which I commanded you not to eat? The man said the woman you gave me. Classic the woman you gave me she made me do it. She gave me the fruit of the tree and I ate it. And then God said to the woman. What does this you've done in the women's the serpent. We're good at like blaming and passing on. The serpent deceive me and A. When I was like ten years old. I grew up in this neighbor. I'm from California grew up in this neighborhood, small, little town and neighborhood. My street was real empty. As far as there wasn't much traffic, and there there was three boys that grew up across the street from me, and we both were born and raised in our homes, and so we were like brothers. I didn't have any brothers. My three older sisters were much older than me, so I felt in some ways like an only child, so they were like brothers to me. We did everything together. I was thinking about this earlier this week. I miss these days. I have young kids, but I mean we were outside all the time. I don't even know if Gameboy was around when I was around ten years old. That would have been like new cool technology. But. We didn't really have much to do so. We just played outside all the time. We drink out of the hose and. Played in the gutter like we just we. We were outside. Tom I miss those days. I, Miss Them for my kids to, but. I had a tree house, so we were always playing in the tree house in one day. We're bored, so you have to be creative as a kid when there's no technology, which is a beautiful thing for your parents like it's good for your kids to be bored because they'll get creative. So we were bored and we had to be creative thought. Hey, let's make a swing. On on this tree on the side of the Tree House, and so we found some chains and we. Got, into, our, my friend's Dad, I didn't grow up with the DAB his dad's tools, and we kind of did this make shift chain would swing. And so. We got a ladder and we tight keeping my ten. So we weren't like falling safety codes we. Climbed up on this ladder. We kind of rigged the chains up on the tree and we had the. Seat they're made out of some. Would we found and of course I was the oldest of the boys, and like I'm not going I. Thought let's make the littlest one. Go I the youngest one so. He's like I don't want to. We force them do it. He climbs up the ladder and he gets on there. He's got like this panic. Look on his face. We've got giant smiles on our face. We're stoked. We're like this is the best idea. He removed the ladder. And I remember we had to find a broomstick to hold their so that he could. Literally, it was so high up. Up Yet reached down. He's got one hand on the one hand the broomstick, and then we started spinning him around because you WanNa make the chain rule nodded. Get the tension up real nice so that when you go like starts to spend. That was our idea. I was going to be fun. It's GonNa be a riot at the carnival. You know you just. Spin Up, and so we'd like for a long time like just spinning. The dude like this in his face is getting worried like this is going to be so awesome. Bro, and so we let go of the broomstick, and he spent like a good ten times around like at that moment. Where like? We are smart. We've made some good decisions in life like we are creative like writers that moment, whereas thought, pass through my head I heard a snap. And the chain broke. and. He comes down like this horizontally, flying to the ground and he. Max. Max's back right on the ground. And I'm just like right in front of me. Just Bam and. He goes to let out a scream, but the air had been knocked out of him. If you've ever seen this. And is like is are all horrific, and he goes to let out the scream, and he can't even yell because that wins. Knock on is a freaky like sight to see, and so I did. What any good ten year old friend would do I like ran. And hid under my bed. For the rest of the day like I didn't even check on the dude to this day. Don't know how he is literally. Hid under my bed for the rest of the day. We're good at hiding. We're good at. How do you know have to teach kids how to hide I have a six year old son. Even time he was real young. If he would get in trouble, he would literally take his face, and he would hide it in his arm when he would get in trouble. He his first instinct when he was in trouble are felt any kind of shame was to hide. We're good at hiding. You don't have to teach kids how to hide their. They figure it out. And Genesis Chapter Three. It's the first time that we see humanity hiding. At this spot if God really knew me. If God knew me fully, and all that I've done. He wouldn't wanNA. Be Around me. It's the first time that we see humanity hiding and here's the thing i. think that we never stopped hiding. From that day, we've always been hiding. We've just gotten more creative with it. I used to play. Hide and go seek with my nephews when they were young and one of my nephews with stand in the middle of the living room to hide any would just close his eyes and cover them. And hopes that if he didn't see me I wouldn't see him. He was a terrible hyder. But he figured it out as he got older. and. We figured it out. We learn how to hide well like maybe if I dress a certain way and show up to church and I look presentable. You might think I've got my stuff together. Maybe if I give you a big enough smile, I could convince you that I'm. I've got it together. Are of a certain bank account or drive a car? Put enough filters on instagram posts, certain things on facebook or have. My kids behave in a certain way or get enough degrees behind my name. I might convince everyone else that I'm okay. Because? The reality is I think for all of us in some way if you knew me fully. You WanNa be around me. If. God knew me full. If I really am fully known, he wouldn't WanNa be around me. I will say this. The Bible should be this long. The Bible should have ended here. On that day. God had every right he could have, and he should've left. Hit every right to leave. He said I've designed things that are perfect like if you live under the way that I design things, things are gonna go really well. If don't, it's going to be really bad. And then humanity decides you know what I'm going to do. My own thing I wonder if I could find satisfaction outside of Godmen. Turn my back on God rebel, look for satisfaction and joy and adventure outside of the way that guy's design thing and God could have, and should have had every right in this moment to say I'm done. Later I'm going to start a newer. I'll go make some other humans and we'll try this whole thing again. He could have laughed. He could have gone back to having said. Yeah, you know. Figure it out on your own. You're done. You disobeyed me I. Didn't do anything wrong. I did my part. You didn't do your part. I'm out. God had every right to leave. The Bible should be one page long. Remember, what God was doing when Adam and Eve sinned. Arguably one of the worst days, if not the worst day in the history of humanity. The day that Eve bought bit into that apple and gave it to her fruit gave it to her husband. Arguably one of the worst days in human history. God, doing. Walking in the garden. Crazy. You, think God had already known what was going on. Like the entire universe just shifted because of sin and God was taking a walk in the garden near them. God showed up. In the midst of their broken this in the midst of literally the entire universe from the tiny microscopic to the huge macro, everything just got messed up and God is taking a walk in the garden near them. Near them. In their mess. In their broken this on their worst day God with and you fast forward. A couple books in the Bible and God says all right. I'm not going to give up on you. That's rest of scripture is God not giving up on us? The reason our Bible isn't one page, but it's lots of pages. Long is because God is continuing to pursue us. You go forward to exodus and these people who are trying to follow God. They start to say hey, let's melt all of our gold. Let's gather all of our goal together melted and let's make a cow. And worship it. Because, that can be our God, got it like per parted sees for them. He dropped bread from heaven. He's done all kinds of miraculous things to protect them. He like goes away to talk to Moses for just a little bit. They get bored. Let's worship Akao. In the midst of their mess like these people are broken, they're a lot like us. We don't worship cows will worship all kinds of things. But in the midst of their mess. God says hey, make a tent. That I can live in so I can dwell among you. Broke in Messi jacked up. People got says I want to be right in the middle of your midst. I want to be near you. In the garden in the midst of broken messy people on the worst day of humanity got said I. Want to be near You, and in the midst of broken and messy people the Israelites in the desert. I, want to be like near you. I want to be near. Your presence is not shouting from afar. He's not up been having kind of tossing down things. He says I want to be right in your midst. Fast forward a little bit further, and there's this woman named Mary. She's a virgin and she's engaged to this guy named Joseph. You've probably heard of them. This angel shows up and says to marry. Hey, you're going to have a baby. which freaks her out a little bit. It's like I'm a virgin. Says you'RE GONNA have a baby, not only are you gonNA, have a baby, but he's actually going to be the God of the universe. He's going to be the. Messiah is going to like grow inside of US zero pressure. And then he said I. Want you to call this baby. What you remember what the Angel said to Mary said what I want you to name him. What your member! WAS Always in church like Jesus, it's usually the right answer. Do you. Remember what she the Angel said. It actually wasn't Jesus, so your question got you. Emmanuel. Which means. God with us. God. With us. Like, he wasn't the garden. God with us like he was in the desert God with us in the midst of broken messy culture messy people who didn't have all their stuff together God. Said I want to be. With you. Flesh and blood. You can touch them and smell them. You could eat with them and talk with him. He was called a glutton and a drunkard, because he was always eating and drinking with people, God of the universe was with broken and Messi people. Crazy he moves into our neighborhood. Then he's got the spread named Peter you fast forward a little bit further. He's got this friend named Peter. Peter is like one of his closest friends. He lives with them I. Wish I could give you guys a whole message on Peter, and Jesus relate it was incredible. Peters one of his closest friends, he's got twelve disciples, twelve close friends, but three of them are even closer peters, one of those guys. He literally Peter Love Jesus so much that he was willing to die, for Jesus and to kill for Jesus you remember the story when. Jesus. Arrested and Peter Pulls out a sword and cuts the DUDE EARS AW ear off! He wasn't like aiming for his ear. I think I would imagine it was probably trying to chop the head off and he probably like got the ear. That's how I picture my mind. Peter was like down with Jesus. He was his friend like close friend, literally willing to kill for him and to die for him later that night like hours later from that scene. Little girl comes up to Peter and says. This is after Jesus was arrested. Says Hey, weren't you would Jesus? Don't you know Jesus is like no. I, don't know who Jesus is. Ask again three times that night Peter was asked. Aren't you friends? which is us no. Don't know who he is. Peters, worst moment of his life spent three and a half years with Jesus hours earlier was willing to kill for him. Be Killed for him. Be Arrested of a sudden. Has this moment of confusion? Says! He doesn't even know Jesus literally his worst moment. Does anyone know when Jesus and Peter Interacted again that night? On the lake, yes, Peter Jesus has died his. He's been killed on across and then all of a sudden peters confused. He's like I don't know what this whole last three and a half years of my life was, so he goes back to fishing. That's what his job was before he met Jesus. He just goes back to his normal life. He goes to fish again. He's fishing and Jesus is on the shore of the Lake Cooking Peter Breakfast. The Bible literally says that he gets a fire going and is cooking Peter Breakfast. The last time those two interacted Peter looked at him and said I. Don't even know that guy. Jesus shows up in his cooking and breakfast. Peters fishing on the boat. He looks across to the shore. He sees Jesus. Bible says that he still has his clothes on. He jumps out of the boat and he swims to Jesus as fast as he can. The last time those two interacted Jesus was saying he didn't even know him. He watched him die on a cross. Peter Literally in his worst moment while he was still yet sinning. Jesus died for him. And then he shows up and he has a fire going and he makes them breakfast. Jesus later tells his disciples I'm going to put my spirit inside of you. Yeah, you're broken and messy people, but I can't get close enough. Just like in the garden where I walked with you just like in the desert where I dwelled among you just like when Jesus showed up and flesh, flesh and blood. I can't get close enough to broken a messy people I'm GONNA put my spirit inside of you, and then the Bible literally and the last book of the Bible Revelation. There's this vision. There's this picture of a new heaven. A new city coming down to Earth, and the Bible says that God will dwell. Among us. And that he will be our God. And we will be as people. Literally from Genesis to revelation. God is near broken and Messi people. He can't get close enough. So what does that mean for US Journey Church in February two thousand eighteen on a snowy day. Like how does all of that makes sense for us? I think the first thing when we think about being better together as to realize that we can come out from hiding. All of us in here. Hide in really creative ways. But. You can come out from hiding. Because you're not gonNA experience and come across a God. Who's going to pour out his wrath on because the greatest news of all time is that God poured out his wrath. You deserve on Jesus. and He poured out His grace on you what you don't deserve. You can come out from hiding because you're going to experience the same kind of God that Adam and Eve experienced in the garden as they're sending on the worst day. God doesn't just jolt them down with lightning like they deserve, but he said where are you? I think I would say the same thing to us. Where are you? Why are you hiding? You don't have to hide anymore. We fake it really well. The thing is I. Think people know we all know what broken. Okay. You're looking my instagram. You're like, oh. Maybe guys got together. dudes broken. I'm broken and you know we all know that about each other right like we all present our best, but we're broken people. Were messed up. The church is this beautiful place where we get to come under the banner to say I'm really broken and yet I'm I'm submitting my life to the greatest news of all time that instead of my broken receiving wrath, my broken. This was put on Jesus so that I could receive grace. So now is Paul would say I can actually boast in my weakness. Jesus's grace's all the more on me. Now this community. The reason we're better together and again it's not this fluffy like hey, how're you doing? Good call have a good week. It's this deep like I can come to you even not attending here on a weekly basis, but you are my brothers and sisters and I can come to you and say. Let's I'm broken like I'm struggling I'm a dad and a husband, a man that does not have it all figured out together like let me confess my sin to you, and you can remind me of the greatest news of all time. That I can experience a God who is near broken and Messi people. What other community can do that? that. We're. Having this giant pity party with each other, but we're reminding each other all the time of the greatest of all time. That instead of getting what we deserve. We got what we deserve. And that's the grace of Jesus. That's good news friends. The second thing that does is it allows us to remind each other constantly and to remind the world. Of this good news that God is near broken a messy people. My wife, we met in two thousand nine and. We met at a Chris Tomlin concert as like Super Church Christian way to meet somebody. Like. We have a lot of friends who don't follow Jesus and. We're like we met concert. which sounds cruel and then what concert? He's Chris Tomlin Guy. WHO's anyway? Menendez Chris Tomkins. Are Literally at March nine a shook my wife's hand I was a pastor at this church where the concert was, she walked shoe super cute. I was trying to be real Pastori and welcome her. So I'm like. Hi, my name's Jerry was two thousand nine. We shook hands I shook hands with my wife for the first time two, thousand nine, and said Hey. I'm jared. She said Hi Leyla. We met literally for the next four months. We fought every day. We hated each other. We were so opposite of each other are like friendship courtship dating ship whatever you call it now like was messy and broken, and like really dysfunctional, and and at the end of four months veteran march four months later at the end of like every day, US fighting all the time. I was like I'm GonNa this girl. Like you want to do this for the rest of our lives. I, we love about this all we just had friends over for dinner and they were like telling like. How'd you? Get married accuser is like we hated each other, and then I asked her to marry me. I don't know how that happened. I don't know how that works. We were so opposite from each other. But the truth is now. We've been married eight years by God's grace. He has been faithful to us when we've been all over the place. And MESSI has been so good to us. We were still newly married in many ways. We're only eight years deep. But now like the Bible says. The two of our lives are becoming one. And when you talk to me, you actually get a glimpse of my wife. And we've talked to my wife. You get a glimpse of mean, even in the short time that I've been standing up here. You know more about my wife. Because the two of us are becoming one and I imagined like fifty years from now when we're sitting on some stale couch and our pajamas with crocs on. Can't wait for that day. Like sporting the same haircuts that we have right now. I dream about that day. All the time I can't wait. I'm on that day man that we're just going to be so much alike like. Everything is the same are two. Our lives have become one. Jesus called us the church his bride. The bride of Christ. And we get to represent our groom. The truth is most of the time we probably mess it up, but the more we follow Jesus, we get to represent our groom to a world that desperately needs some good news. The reason we're better together. Because we can come under the banner that says I'm not going to get what I deserve and said get what I don't deserve. And that's radical grace, because we serve a God unlike any other God and the history of the world. He's near, broken and Messi people. There's no other God like that. If. You were part of any other religion in the history of the world. You would probably have to hide. Because you, don't measure up and it's probably a God that's mad at you for not behaving well. We serve God who says I. Know You're broken. From Genesis to revelation I know you're broken. I'm not giving up on you. I'm near broken a messy people. You can come out from hiding. I'm angry but I put my anger on Jesus so I can pour out my love on you. There's no other God like. And so when we love each other. Has John Thirteen, thirty five, says Jesus said the way that the world will know that we are followers of Jesus is the way we love each other. When we love each other in real ways, not fake ways. We're like real with each other. In broken a messy and we're authentic, and we point each other back to the good news all the time. The world might get a glimpse of our groom. Man. I mean read this final verse into. Some thirty seven says this. You are. A hiding place for me. You preserve me from trouble. You surround me with shouts of deliverance. When I was little I would run under my bed to hide in my shame. I think Jesus would say I'll be your hiding place. You can hide in me. There's no shame. Guys I hope that episode was helpful for you. Pointed you a little bit closer to Jesus. If you know one dad friend, who could use some encouragement on his dad journey. Would you just share this episode with him? And the Dad Hired Ministry with them with love to have more guys part of our community I love you, guys. I'll see next week.

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Don't Be An Absent Dad

Dad Tired

27:40 min | 4 months ago

Don't Be An Absent Dad

"How's it going? Guys Welcome back to the DAD. Tired podcast I'm your host jeered lopes. Join me every Monday, as we dive into what it looks like to be. Men Who Fall in love with Jesus and help our families do the same. He can learn more about our books, resources, conferences, and even online community by going to dad tire dot Com let's dive into today's episode. Guys welcome back to the dead tired show. Glad that you're here. If you just stumbled upon the PODCAST, Soubra glad did man We're a bunch of guys who are trying to figure out what it looks like to lead our family to Jesus Oh, if you have no idea where to even begin on that, my first suggestion would be to cut it that tire dot. Dot Com and then we actually have a free book there that you can read, and it's totally free to download. It will take you about thirty minutes to get through, and it's just ten practical ways that you can start pointing your family to Jesus like as of today so if you just feel stuck and you don't really know what you're doing and you. You want to try to get better at this. Go to data dot com slash free book, and you can download that free book and get started on that today. we also have a community on facebook, so if you just go to data, dot, com click the community tab. That will link you over to that. Close group that we have over. There today we're. We're talking about what it looks like to be. Dads who are not absent even when they're present and I'll dive into more of what I mean by that and what that looks like very practically, but before we do, I do want to think my friends over at the Christian Standard Bible for sponsoring today's episode, they have a Bible called the legacy note taking Bible. Is this Beautiful Bible. It's it's it's a Bible obviously, but it's also like an heirloom. It's something that you can pass down to your kids and your kids is kids. which were big fan of that kind of thing over data were thinking generational, not just. In the here and now and so we never want to think through reading. God's Word is just something that we're trying to check off the to do list. We always want to actually take the time to spend time with God. Reflect on his work process our thoughts, and you can take notes that they've got a bunch of margin in the Bible. You can take notes. It's just this beautifully. Put Together, Bible that's going to last for years and years and years. You Pass it on your kids and your. Your grandkids and and so it's a it's. It's my favorite Bible. It's my Go-to Bible especially one that I'm thinking through. Like what kind of thoughts do I wanNA put down and see how my kids and my grandkids can see how I am processing through this journey of what it looks like to try to follow Jesus again. You can get this Bible. It's called the legacy. Notebook Bible. You can get it wherever bibles are sold and a highly recommend that that being said. Let's dive into today's episode. A couple of days ago. We were out driving. Doing some errands had the kids with me in the car and my wife was working. So it's just me and the three kids and my daughter. She's in a year and a half. She just screaming the background, and if you have a year and a half year old, you know that that's the stage of parenting where your kids just like. Like they they have lots of opinions, and they have no way to articulate those opinions because they don't have the vocabulary yet, and she just screaming all the time. She's very frustrated she. She has all these things that she wants to say and us to do, and she doesn't know how to communicate them in her. Only way of communication is screaming and so just. Just, as deriving hearing her scream, and my kids are trying to help, but they're also arguing with each other, and it's just chaos. You know this scene. If you are dad, you've. We've all been here. As Dad tired guys. Just chaos and I just snapped manages like Yeldham like be quiet. What you want you know as I just Kinda lost it and then. Then, we get home and I. Don't remember what's happening. We're up in one of the rooms, and I'm trying to like. Organize something or do whatever I don't even remember what I was doing, but I said something kind of sharp to my son and my daughter, who right now is six years old, said Daddy. It seems like you're in a grumpy mood today and which you know, that's always a fun fun experience as a dad to have your six year old. Call you out to tell you what you're feeling emotionally, but she's right man, I couldn't even like get mad. I wasn't even like I wasn't even mad at our like defend myself. The truth is I wasn't a grumpy mood, and whenever that happens like instead of just defending, myself are making excuses, or you know toner gnome nod. It's your fault or whatever I was trying to use that as a warning light. Light that goes off on the Dash. That's indicating to me. Something's wrong under the hood. We talked to even a little bit about this last week, but you know I'm just trying to figure out okay when situations like this happen, and there's a moment where I'm kind of called out I. I just want to instead of defending myself and blaming other people I really WanNa be introspective. I want the Holy Spirit to as an opportunity to really like point out what's going on in my heart and. And so I just tried to ask myself you know I went downstairs and just took like five minutes to figure out what what's going on in my own heart here and so I'm just trying to process. What's really going on and the truth? Is Man I I had all kinds of other things on my mind and it felt like I, didn't I would never have articulated this or of said this, but if I'm honest with myself, it felt like my kids were getting in the way of all the. The things that I was trying to accomplish that day even simple things like making sure that we had groceries for the day or that. The car was filled up with gas or that I got my work done whatever it is, but they were getting in the way of that and and so then because I felt subconsciously like they were getting in the way I was annoyed or I snapped are lost my patience, and so yeah I just I was a it was a moment for me is really. Revealing to me to really figure out okay, man, what? How do I change this because i? Don't want to be a dad who snaps at my kids and makes them feel like they're in the way I don't want to be a dad who feels like my kids are in the way all the time. One of the things I hear. Guys consistently say as I've talked to guys about fatherhood over the last several years. One of the things I hear them consistently say about their own childhood is two things number one they either. Say that their dad left. Their Dad was not around and he just wasn't present, and all that was actually my story, growing up my dad, and I actually didn't become close until later on in life, he wasn't around physically. He wasn't around and so I talked to him and saw him a couple of times a year, but other than that he he just physically wasn't there. So that's a lot. I know a lot of your guys stories. Your Dad's simply was not there. He wasn't around physically, but then i. hear this other side where I hear, guys say my dad was around like physically he was there, but emotionally, and just in every other way he was, he was absent so. So he was present, but he was absent, and it was almost like not having my dad there. which man I don't know honestly what? What's more heartbreaking than that like I? Don't know which one of those scenarios hurts worse. Your Dad physically not being there or him physically being there, but you don't feel like he's really there for you. Both of those are like detrimental realities that I don't think any kid should experience and I know a lot of get here. There's so many times that guy say that their dad, just what he was present, but he just wasn't around, and and part of the success of being a dad is being physically present Leyland. Leyland our just reading yesterday all these statistics on just if a dad is physically in the home, like things are better at bare minimum, if he just like sticks out at bare minimum things, get better if he just stays around and so we need dads to just like if you're GonNa, do nothing at least a stick around at despite how dad tired, you are despite how hard things are despite how hard your marriages don't leave. Just stick around. Things will be better for generations if you just stay, but that being said like I I. Don't want my standard for fatherhood just to be. That simply didn't leave. You know what I mean like I, don't. Don't want my standards. It's be well while I was here wasn't I was thinking about my dad? Even just recently, and his dad was completely absent in really from what I know I'm not that great of a dude I very very little about my grandpa, but it sounds like he wasn't a very good dude. I never even met the Guy, but my dad has very strong negative feelings towards his dad, and so for my dad's even like no me and talk to me in his mind you know he's made significant leap forward and becoming a better dad and he's he's China's Bosnia's figuring out, and I've got a lot of grace and love for my dad. Especially over the last few years of as we've worked towards more healing, and I'll talk about that on future podcasts hopefully, but I just don't want the standard to be that. I'm a little bit better than my dad. You know what I mean and and I don't want your standard to be well. My Dad wasn't around and so at least I'm here. Right I did divorce. My Wife? I didn't leave my kids I'm here like that I just if you're listening to this podcast, I just have this deep. Deep Feeling, I'm pretty convinced. That's not your standard, either. You're not just trying to like not leave and and I'm just thankful that that's not what God does for us. I WanNa be the kind of dad for my kids. The Way that Godfather's us and I mean I. Just thank God that he doesn't ignore all the time and then say. Why are you upset? I'm here aren't I like I didn't leave I didn't blow up the world or I didn't leave you on your own I'm still around. Unit. Could you imagine if that's how God treated us like he? Just I'm here. You know I'm not going to answer your prayer. Listen to your care about anything in your life but I'm here, aren't I? Like. Just doesn't not at all. A God does not as involved in the day to day details, and he loves US and he knows intimately even with all that God has going on. He still deeply involved in our day to day lives, and he knows every part of us, and that's the kind of father I wanna be to. My kids I know that's probably the kind of father you WanNa. Beat your kids, and so we can't get to the spot where we. We feel like our kids are in the way or were snapping at them, because they're in the way of all the other things that we're trying to accomplish essentially what I'm trying say is. We can't be the kind of DADS who are absent. Even when we're present, you know what I mean. I just imagined that Jesus. Like when I pictured Jesus walking around on Earth One thing that I picture often is that he looked to people in the is a lot. One of my favorite stories in the Scriptures is actually when a guy one of his disciples Peter Comes, and he meets Jesus and I've done episodes on Peter I've written on Peter. I've I've taught messages on Peter is one of my favorite. People in the Bible but one thing that's fascinating about when Jesus and Peter met is, there's word that they wouldn't have shaken hands because that wasn't customary like that was in part of the social norm to shake somebody's hand I'm, but when they when they met each other, the Bible uses this word emblazoned Poe, and the word blame means that there's like this deep soul the soul connection like when they looked each other in the is it was almost as if Jesus was looking into his soul, and there's some powerful stuff about even just the word and Blake Ho, and how it's used specifically in the relationship between Peter and Jesus. Jesus and in fact one of the deepest ways that it's used as when Peter Denies, it even knows Jesus in one of the Gospel says that Jesus turns around after Peter had just an item, and they looked in the eye in that word, there is play Poe again. Just like when they first met, it was deep soul, the soul connection, almost as Jesus was looking into Peter Soul when he was denying him really really powerful stuff, but I just imagined. Do that Jesus like he looked at people? Now is a lot like that. That's the kind of person. I imagined Jesus was like when you were with him. He's constantly. Entering into that EM- Belay Poe where he's like. In deep into your eyes and he's beyond just seeing the outside of you. He's like looking inside of you like he senior soul, and who you are, and he's he's giving you as full attention at the deepest level like this is the kind of God that we serve what we don't see Jesus, doing is like overlooking people as he's trying to save people. Could you imagine that like Jesus? His whole point of coming to Earth was that he would save humans from sin that he would rescue them that he would invite them into a new kingdom. Kingdom into the way things were meant to be and supposed to be and so Jesus when he was interacting with people. He like gave them his full attention. You don't see him looking over people to try to accomplish his mission. What you don't see Jesus, saying like Hey, can you just like? Can you hurry up with the story, or can you hurry? Hurry hurry like. Can you just get to the point here? Because I got I'm going to try to save people. Jesus knew that the person right in front of him was part of the mission. Like. This is the mission. He came to save people, and now he's looking the people that he came to save right in the is. He didn't hurry past them. He didn't tell them. Get on with your story or get to the point, or I don't have time for that right now. Because I'm trying to do something bigger. No, he knew that like the person right in front of me. That is the mission. This is what I came here for that person in for. For All people whoever is right in front of me has my attention. They have my love. They have everything that I have to give them. He was fully present when he was present. And our mission as men is right in front of us. It's not work. Our mission is in our hobbies or the way that we can scale up on the social ladder or the way that we can accomplish more work or get more things done. It's not filling up the bank account. Like, our mission are the little humans under our care that we have the honor and the privilege of disciple. This is our mission. We don't get to say. Hurry up, get to the point. You're in the way. They are what we're here for. Our goal now listen hear me clearly our worlds are not supposed to revolve around our kids. That's an unhealthy relationship, but I think you know what I'm saying like I'm not saying that. But what I m saying is there's really what more thing. What could be more important in your life the to give your full attention to your children into your wife to your family, what could be more important than being fully present with the people that got us put right in front of you? What other relationship! What other thing is worth chasing after the to give your kids and your wife? Your full attention to be fully present while being present. We're GONNA. Talk about what it looks like to be president while being present, but before we do I want to thank my friends over at blinking for sponsoring today's episode. I love blinking there. One of my favorite I use on my phone constantly We're always trying to learn as guys in. It's really hard as busy dads to continue to find the time to. To. Sit Down and learn something which is why I love them. Because what they do is, they take three thousand over three thousand nonfiction bestsellers. They've got over twenty seven different categories, and they convinced them down into what they call blinks, which are just fifteen minutes or less that you can either read a book or listen to a book and really get the main. Main need to know information from thousands of books so again. If you don't have time to sit down and read a whole book or listen to a whole book, it will take fifteen minutes of best the need to know information. Really condense it down to give you the information that you need for it what they also have now. They've also just launched A. A brand new feature, or you can listen to full length audio books and exclusive podcast. That's brand new feature that they've just launched on. They're really excited to try that out. I think you guys are GonNa. Love that as well as podcast listeners. I like to listen to a couple of books every night before I go to bed, just continue to learn and. Gain more knowledge and short amount of time to books that I recommend that they have on there. They've got one on there for tire. Dad's called why we sleep by Matthew Walker It's a great book to check out just about sleep. And then they also got the ruthless elimination of hurry by John Mark Homer, which is one of my favorite books of two thousand twenty right now. Blankets has a special offer just for. For you are dead, tired audience, go to blink DOT, com slash tired to start your free seven-day trial and get twenty five percents off blinking premium membership and up to sixty five percent of audiobooks that you get to keep forever. That's bleakest spelled. B. L. I. N.. K. I S. T. BLINKING DOT COM slash tired to get twenty five percent off a premium membership and a seven day free trial. That's blink dot com forward slash tired. Here's one of my biggest fears for says Dad's. One of my biggest fears is that we're going to run past. Our kids in an effort to chase down a better life for them. I, mean just say that one more time because I wanted to soak in one of my biggest fears for us as dad's as that, we will run past our kids in an effort to chase down a better life for them. A Leyland. We'd just bought a new home and we've been trying for almost our entire marriage to save up and to get ourselves in a position where we could buy a house and we were renting for pretty much the entire time our kids have been alive, and and then we moved into a little town home kind of in the interim, and then we just we saved up and we worked hard, and we finally got in this home. Home that we love and it's it's great for our little family, and it's got a yard which we wanted and which it's Kinda hard to find him Portland like something. That has an a yard where the kids can play. It was just amazing, and our kids loved it like we we. We had been talking about this for years, and we finally got into a home and our kids that they really loved it for about three days. and there was this moment like three days into this house when and just kind of like the newness wore off, and my son Said Daddy. Will you play in the backyard with me and And when he said that I just thought man like this house means absolutely nothing. If Daddy isn't present and the house like sure that you know the, they're happy to have a room to sleep in the happy have A. A yard to play in and whatever, but like they're not gonNa grow old and think man I really love that house. Even though my daddy was never physically or mentally around like my dad, you know. He got us a house and that's really all we wanted in life. Do we all know that right and I? Guess? I can just subconsciously Kinda. Thought like if I get my kids a house that they love you know. Know we'll be set and the truth is. They don't care like they don't. They're not any more happy in this house than they were in this tiny little town home that we just came from our home, the small house we were renting before they just don't care. It means nothing to them. If Daddy's not present what they'll look back on is not the house they lived in, but with a look back on was daddy. Daddy, present and I guess what was crazy to me as I had spent so long so many years of my life, and their little lives chasing down this life for them like manifested. Get this a house that for them. They'll really be happy. They didn't care. And what's what what's fearful to me is that we would spend so much time and energy chasing something down and we would actually run right past our kids. In an effort to give them a better life. I think there are two main reasons for us as men. That we run past our kids. Two reasons that we find ourselves snapping or we find ourselves the find ourselves thinking that our kids are getting in the way of what we're trying to do. Their two main reasons for this number one. We work super hard like we work and we work and we work, and then we justify our overworking by telling ourselves. It's for our kids. And this may be you man. This is what I was doing. I was working working working working working the whole time on working so hard, and giving all my attention, and sometimes snapping up my kids, because they're getting in the way of my work and all this. The whole time that's happening I'm justifying my overworking by saying. This is for my kids. What am I doing? I'm literally I'm. I'm running past them emotionally while I'm trying to give them a better life that the better life is daddy being present. That's the better life. That's the life that they need daddy being present disciple in them, intentionally loving them having hard conversations with parenting, their hearts getting after their hearts. That is what they need. They don't need new house new toys, new boats, and whatever like what they need is a daddy. WHO's fully present with them. And I think for many of us one of the reasons that we will overlook our kids because we overwork, and then we justify our overwork by saying it's for our kids. We run. Pass them in an effort to create a better life for them and the number two, I think the second reason that we find ourselves doing this as we actually will start to numb out, we will find other things to occupy our minds will will do hobbies or sports or TV or it could be. Bad things that can be sinful things, other ways that your numbing and checking out, and then you justify your numbing. you justify your while I. Deserve this I deserve this little bit of time. I deserve this little bit of sin. I deserve this. Whatever because I'm working so hard and so then we justify kind of our number now and then again. Our kids get in the way of our quote Unquote Leisure. We deserve a break. We deserve a little bit of rest. And so now my kids are getting in the way of that and so again the two things that I think caused us to not be fully present with our kids number one were overworking, and justifying our overworking by saints, four kids, or and or we are over leisure during were going into hobbies. We're finding things that we think will kind of give us rest of our souls, either things that just are normal hobbies, or even sinful things, and we justify that because we're saying were working so hard like I deserve a break now. Hear me loud and clear like work. And breaks, neither of those are bad in fact both are commanded. God commands his people to work, and he commands as to rest, but over work. And over breaking. Is a sin to work too much into to be lazy. Is a sin, and both of those will often lead to emotional neglect of our families, which is the reason we're doing all of this in the first place. We're saying we're working for families or were saying we're resting, so we can be better man or whatever, but if we do those too much, they actually become central, and they oftentimes will lead to neglect of our families well. I am working because I'm just trying to get my family a better life or I. I need this break because I've been working so hard. Dude, what you're what our kids need. Our kids need daddies who are present. In, so what does it look like for us? As men who are going to try to lead our families well, it means that we are going to have to find more creative ways to rest our souls and more healthy ways. It means we're going to have to figure out our work life balance. It means we're going to have to figure out. Are there other things that are sucking our attention or time that don't make sense in the kingdom that don't make sense for my grandkids and my great grandkids things that I'm chasing after putting time or energy or money towards that just simply don't make sense when I'm thinking about three generations from now the kind of family that I'm trying to raise into leave. And so are there. There are times man like. Should you be going to bed earlier so that you can wake up earlier and get more things done? Are there things that are sucking your time and your attention net movies Hulu things your phone social media APPS. Are there things that just need to be removed? So you don't find yourself overcrowding, your mental space, and then finding yourself like me snapping at your kids unreasonably. Are. There things that just need to be pulled out meant do do. We talked about this a few weeks ago? About the morning routine? I am a better dad. When I wake up early and kind of get things in order. Get some work done before my kids wake up spent some time with the Lord do a little bit of workup. Do we know if you've ever a morning routine? You Know Your husband Dad when you do it something as simple as that. Trying to eliminate some things that means I have to eliminate some things at that. Tom Going to bed earlier, so that I can wake up earlier and in putting in time with the Lord I'm getting some work before the kids wake up and I'm positioning myself were my soul is deeper. It means that I have to be intentional about Sabbath, but actually taking a day a week, and not working at all actually resting my soul. Letting it behold set aside if you just if you're like I have no clue how to Sabbath. We've got a bunch of episodes. Look at episode that we've done on the podcast with Jefferson. Beth gauge mark calmer, AJ swoboda all these guys who have come on and talked about Sabbath. Go back and listen to those episodes. We talk deeply about what it needs to Sabbath and to rest web. Dude, men who rest well are men who give their attention to their kids well, and who are fully present with their wife and. And kids because they're not hurried. They're not rushed there. They don't see their kids. Somebody that are getting in the way or the wife of someone who's getting in the way of all the other things are accomplishing your balanced. You've done things better. You've prioritize the right things so that when your kids are sitting in front of trying to tell you something, you don't have fifteen other things on your mind that you're trying to get done. Your soul is a little bit more rested and men who souls are rest the. Better! Men who souls arrested give the attention to their wife and kids. I. Don't have a million other things on their mind. And then your kids start to feel more loved and more secure in your love. Your kids become kids who know that they can tell their daddy anything. Because here's the deal. Listen closely. A six year old, who's telling you about her dolls and a puppy and her weird dream? Last night becomes a sixteen year old. Who's telling you about her doubts, her struggles and her fears man. A nine year old. Who's telling you about as Lego? Creation Is later becoming a twenty year old. Who's telling you about? Sends and his shortcomings his failures. Dude when our kids begin to rest in the truth, that Daddy listens well they start to feel confident man, and going to their heavenly father, who also gives them his full attention. They don't doubt whether they serve a God. Who hears them because they have a daddy who's modeled for them? What that looks like here on earth? Would we not be men who are absent. Even when we're present, there's a higher bar than just not bailing. Than just being physically around? We're not trying to just be men who didn't leave. We're trying to be men who show our kids a glimpse of the heavenly father. We serve a God, who gives us his attention, and would we be men who gives the attention that our kids deserve? Will we not be absent were present. In the way that we do that as we find rest for our souls, we take things out of our life that are distracting us and pulling us away. Overwork overplay all these things that were justifying because we're saying we're doing them for our kids man. We have to get our lives balanced where we run to the father. We get our tanks filled by spending time with the father. We cut out things that are pulling away from US unnecessarily. So that we can be fully present. We don't feel rushed are hurried. Would we give our kids emblazoned Po? What our kids at an old age say Ma'am my Daddy. When he looked at me, it was like he was looking into my soul. because. That's what Jesus. I love you guys.

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Leading Your Family During Major World Events

Dad Tired

26:40 min | 5 months ago

Leading Your Family During Major World Events

"How's it going? Guys Welcome back to the DAD tired podcast. I'm your host Lopes. Join me every Monday as we dive into what it looks like to be. Men Who Fall in love with Jesus and help our families do the same. You can learn more about our books, resources, conferences, and even online community by going dad tire dot, com. Let's dive into today's episode. Guys will welcome back to the dead tired podcast man. This has been a crazy week. There was a big part of me. That wasn't going to record this episode. I just I don't know man I. Just didn't want to add to the noise It's been it's been heavy for most of us if especially if you live in the states, but really man around the world has just been a heavy week. And even even just personally. I got a phone call. Five minutes ago that there is a family emergency with one of my parents and Some I've got that on the forefront of my mind and trying to get information on that. So I, guess all that the same in the world feels heavy and I know even in the midst of that and all the heaviness. That's happening in our world this week, Even just purse land that you guys are still. The world doesn't stop for you guys in your jobs, and the things that you're dealing with in your family's personally in your own health and your own kids and families, and all that stuff so just feels like a heavy week and I and I really was going to just not do an episode this week, but I feel compelled to process alongside of you. and. I think that's important and So, yeah, we're going to try our best to. Get through today's episode In case you're listening to this years from now the so this week is the week that George Floyd died or was killed by the. Police officer really unjustly and So that, there's protests happening all around the world right now and so that's what I'm referring to. In case you're listening to this months or years down the road. but whenever things like this happen I just try to zoom out and I tried to get clarity on what my role is to just personally and try to realign my priorities and So. Here's what I know that God has called me and most likely many of you who are listening to. I know that God has called me to be a disciple. I first and foremost above anything else I'm a follower of Jesus and then secondly I'm a husband third father, and then lastly I'm a worker. And I say all those in order so I always tell people I'm I'll die a disciple. Die A husband. I will die a father. and then I don't know if I'll die a worker hopefully. I won't be working till the day I die, but probably especially in the Kingdom of God man. The work never stops for all of us. So in some shape or form will be will be working and so if you're listening to this podcast of you, resonate with calling yourself a follower of Jesus and you're trying to figure all out you. Probably you've been called to the same roles. Man Like you're a disciple of Christ you are likely a husband father, listening to this and you hopefully By God's grace. You still have a job. You're worker, even if you don't right now. Manam believing you will soon and and so that that's really our roles in that order as men as were disciples of Jesus were husbands, fathers and we're workers. And so what I try to do in these situations I try to just zoom out and really get perspective on those things and kind of get alignment on those things like where my ad as a disciple where my ad as a husband. Where am I at as a father? And where am I at as a worker and I? Just want to invite you to walk alongside of me on those four paths today. And really we can ask questions together and kind of process this stuff together so for the sake of time Let's just dive right into that. Salah, when I think through my role, as a disciple is a follower of Jesus What am I thinking through? And how God's shaping my heart in the midst of things like this week? in an honestly I've just been overwhelmed by the noise You turn on your TV. You go on any social media APP. You Talk to friends. You really can't escape it like anywhere you go to. Even you know you're listening to your pastors or whatever on in live streaming, church services or return on a podcast like right. Right now we're talking about these kinds of things. These big news events and your friends are probably talking about it. Social Media's talking about everyone's talking about, and there's just so much noise. Everybody's got an opinion and honestly for me. I just get extremely overwhelmed by the noise and my first response is just like Tuck away to hide into numb out, and I want to move away from all of I feel very overwhelmed by all that and I, just kind of want to Tuck away and I've told the story in books before I've talked to you guys about this before, but I had a friend. Tell me one time that whenever she was driving and. Something would rattle under the hood like she could tell. Something was going on under the engine. She would just turn up the volume on the radio, so she didn't have to deal with that noise and which is so funny, but I've talked about this in the book like I said, but we we do the exact same thing whenever there's something like going on under the hood of our souls. Won't when we recognize that there's like. Like something making us uncomfortable instead of dealing with that and really sitting in it, we just turn up the radio, and we all have different stations that we turn to Kinda numb out or drown out the noise and I. Think during this particular season some of us are turning to stations, like like actual news stations or stations like social media, or log just all the opinions you just want to hear like what is this? Person Sane. And what does this news outlet saying? What does this social media influencers saying? What are these friends sane and a lot of that sometimes can be noise. It can be a station that you turn to your. I'm not saying that it's bad noise. necessarily. Maybe some of it is, but not all of noises, bad noise, but it is noise, nonetheless I there. It is noise that you're adding to. To Your Life, so some of us just turned to those stations to kind of stay, occupied and and not really deal with what's going on personally in our heart, because we're just kind of staying at what what is everyone else saying? What is everyone else talking about? Other others of US may swing the opposite direction, and we just want to ignore it all like you just want to veg out. On something entirely different. Maybe it's like you know what I'm just going to watch. NETFLIX's stand up comedy special or I'm just GonNa like what Rewatch the office season one or whatever because I? Just I just I don't even want to think about this. This is overwhelming, if I'm honest with you I've gone back and forth both of these I'll spend a bunch of knights, watching the news, and just trying to absorb everything I. don't want to be ignorant towards things I wanted to like learn what is happening. What's happening in our culture and our world and I just want absorb all the and you know. Honestly it's fascinating. It's really it's incredible to see what's going on right now. Now to hear what's going on and then I'll get to the point where I feel really overwhelmed by it and then think man I can't take anymore. I'm going to delete all my social media APPS I'm going to get rid of everything and I can't. My hardest is too heavy. I'm just GONNA. Go back and watch them. you know something on net flicks to kind of veg out or whatever and and so I get it man I I've been like I swung both of those directions, but the other night I put the kids to sleep and I jumped in the shower which. It's probably too much information for you, but you know this as a dad. Sometimes the only place that we can get a little bit of quiet, you know when you. Go to the bathroom for thirty minutes and tell your wife you just really. have to go to the bathroom or do you just jump in the shower? And take really long showers, because it's like the one place that might be quiet for a few minutes, and so I put the kids asleep, and I was in the shower and his quiet, and I always say it's my think tank. All my ideas and stuff come in the shower. And I'm just in there in and it's quiet and it happened to be on a day where there's just a lot. There's some really really heavy stuff. In the last couple of weeks, riots and violence and opinions, and just it just felt especially heavy and so it's quiet in there and is the first time I didn't have like any other outside noise kind of in my ear, and it just felt like the Holy Spirit was reminding me that I'm I'm going everywhere for thoughts. Opinions for ideas to see what's going on. I'm going everywhere, but. And And it just I don't know I would say like I. Don't WanNa over spiritualize things I. Don't WanNa. Put words into God's mouth that he didn't actually say I think it's really dangerous for us to do that as Christians but I felt something kind of beyond myself. an influence behind myself voice beyond myself just like mandate, just be quiet like just settle down, and to listen to what would have to say, and I think one of the most wise things that you and I can do right now is to potentially just spend maybe a day maybe. Maybe half a day, maybe two days whatever it looks like for you, but just like delete news apps social media apps all the distracting things that you're going to those stations that you're going to that are distracting adding a lot of noise and just spend some time with God in prayer and again I'm I'm not saying like get rid of all that stuff and just like talk yourself away in a cave, so you're not you don't have any clue what's going on, but maybe just for like half a day or for a day or for a couple days. Just like quiet, the noise turn down the radio station. Am I am what I would encourage you to do is to pray Psalm one thirty, nine over yourself and someone, thirty, nine, twenty, three verse, Twenty Three and twenty. Four says the search me, O God and know my heart. Try Me and know my anxious thoughts and see if there be any hurtful way in me and lead in me and lead me I'm sorry. Lead me in the everlasting. Everlasting way that's that's the prayer that I would encourage you to pray over yourself got search me search my heart. Show me my way. Show me if there's anything in me. That is not of you and then lead me back to your ways to your kingdom. My initial thoughts when I I like the had that thought and I thought you know jared be quiet. What God's speaking to you? My my initial thoughts are of course I'm not racist. I grew up in a very diverse place at the high school I went to the place where I went to high school, spoke seventy two different languages on campus, like very diverse upbringing around me out, and so my first thoughts are like you know. I'm not a racist. I love and respect, and cherish people of every color and background, but just wanted to be quiet for a minute and ask myself some hard questions and allow the Holy Spirit to reveal in me what I may be keeping in darkness even subconsciously. And and so I'm just asking myself questions like areas in my life that are that I have subconscious bias, or or maybe turning convenient blind eye toward types of inequality, because it doesn't really affect me as a white dude, the truth is I. Don't really have to think about racism or racial injustice every day because it doesn't really affect me every day. That's just me being honest as a as a white guy, and so really what I wanted to do. My my prayer has been God reveal areas and my own heart that I'm not seeing. Again Psalm one thousand nine got searched me. No, my heart. Show me my ways, and is there anything hurtful God? Is there anything in me that I'm not currently seeing an been praying president God. Where is your heartbreaking that I have been overlooking? Are there things that God are there areas where God's heart is breaking his people that I'm not even looking at. And as a man of God as men of God. I want our hearts. Break over the things that God's heartbreaks over. That's what it means to be. A spiritual leader is to seek God's heart into a line, the ways, and the desires of our heart closer and closer to his, and so I've been asking. Myself got their areas of my heart. That are that you need to reveal in me because there's just some sub-conscious stuff happening there. Or got. Are there areas of your heart that are breaking for your people? And I'm not even thinking about it got reveal that suffer me got I. Want my heart to be in a spot where breaks over the things that your heart breaks for. And, so I've been spending time in prayer the last few weeks, even before all this happened. I've been spending time in prayer. Just asking God for wisdom got above all else. Would you give me wisdom and I think one of the wisest things we can do. As men of God is to break away from the noise and to spend time with the father listen even Jesus broke away from the crowds and the noise to spend time with the Father Jesus had the most important job in the history of the world, and yet he still knew how important it was to break away and get clarity on. He should be listening to the most. And up, please like here. We really clearly I'm not saying to stay. Silent Jesus didn't stay silent and I don't think we as Christians are supposed to stay silent, but I do think that before are speaking comes listening. And the foundation of our words and actions the foundations of our actions. The foundations of everything that we say do that. We stand up for is always starting with the convicting and guiding spirit of truth. And so in the midst of all the noise I guess I would ask myself as a disciple of Jesus again, and for you as a disciple of Jesus who has the loudest voice. Who are you bending your ear to the most again? Not all noises bad. We need something noise, but the first station that you and I should be turning to is the one who invented justice in the first place. These are the things that I'm asking and reflecting on as a disciple of Jesus are the things that I encourage you as a disciple of Jesus. What does it look like for you I? Think this is true all the time. Even in the midst of normal kind of mundane life, we should still be pulling away and getting in quiet spaces to hear the voice of the Father Louder than everything else, but especially in times like this, we re align and I don't think like do. I want to agree with this group that I just want the Holy Spirit I want God Lord reveal to me your heart reveal to me my heart, and with those two things come even more closer aligned. Once. I've processed on that path jumped to the path of what does it look like to love my wife well? In this particular season, and in this cultural moment, how do I be a husband who leads my wife well, and the truth is like Leyla has she's carried a heavy heart this week. Man, her personality type is naturally drawn toward the hurting toward vulnerable toward the the voiceless She embodies empathy on another level, and she feels things she she feels what people are feeling deeply almost as if it's her own pain, and so she's been. Been Heavy this week and you? You and I've talked about this before I've mentioned that so many times on the PODCAST, but part of being a husband who loves his wife well as putting your wife's needs above your own, and not saying things like man I just wish he'd get over it or how come she's in a bad mood, or why is she always talking about this? Or whatever the thing is? That might be inconveniencing you. Instead of that really seen this as an opportunity. To see like what is God trying to do in her and then partner with God in that journey? The truth is man like God is using all of this. He uses all of life and especially moments like this to shape your heart and your wife's heart, and and I want to be used by God. To partner with him to be his partner to stand with him to say. I i. See what God is doing in you during this time, and I want to be like used by God to help shape and form in you whatever work he's trying to do. I think you would give your wife like a major gift. If you were to ask her some really intentional questions this week, the questions can be things like. How is your heart this week with everything that's going on like. How's your heart? Babe or things like? Do you feel? I got his teaching. You anything during this time. What's God teaching you? In the midst of all this? I feel like he's teaching me a lot of stuff. Here's what he's been showing me showing any thing to you this week or like. Is there anything I can do to help you process during all this? I think the little things. Even little things like offering to watch the kids so your wife can find some space to process away from all the chaos of the house. Even if that means like locking herself in the bathroom for an hour to just giving her, that freedom like I'm GonNa Watch kids. We'll put a movie on in the other room. You just go to the bathroom. Take a bath. You can take a shower. You Sneeze on toilet. Sit on the counter and do whatever you need to do like. Lock Yourself van just giving her the space I. Know that like there's a lot going on and I'm trying to pull away as a disciple of Jesus to spend some time with the father and I just want. Want to give you that. Gift me to spend some time with the kids and just going to let you spend some time alone since you can process, you need a cry. You need to be mad. You spend some time with got you. Pray like whatever you need to do is want to give you the gift of doing that and then just asking some of those questions like how's your heart doing with all of this? What are you learning? What are you feeling? What's teaching you? Is there anything I can do to help you process better? or even just being like superintendent about sitting down, this is all a bigger one and it seems hard, but man just sitting down with your wife, and asking an and like praying with her and asking God God. Would you show us together? Where our own hearts in our marriage? We've been missing it where we may have been turning a blind eye to things that you want it to reveal in US and humbling youselves together as As a couple of what what do you want to teach us? What does it look like to be a couple on mission to see your kingdom calm, and your will be done your light, shine in the darkness here in this moment and this day in this season of life and culture. Like how do we do that together as a family? That's that's a big. You know. I know a lot of guys. It's hard, it's an. Intimidating to sit down and pray, but dude like this is part of what it looks like for you to lead your wife well during these kinds of seasons. When it comes to. Our kids and when we step into our role as a father. I've always taken the approach for my kids of being very direct. And obviously you know your kids best in and you have to make that judgment, but we personally Leyland I've always wanted to expose kids to the. Of what's actually happening and really let them sit in the weight of that for a bit like you know, let it be a little bit heavy and a little bit shocking for them. Let. Them feel the weight of those realities. I don't want them to like I. Don't want to hide them for the from the evil. That's happening again when we understand how evil the world is. And how crappy things are the good news? Is that much more amazing and so I really am okay with exposing my kids some heavy stuff. Obviously you do that with wisdom and you know you know your kids. Kids maturity, and where they're all out and you don't WanNa, be unwise about that, but I'm O-. I'm okay exposing them to some heavy stuff, some to the realities, not to just make stuff up, but to let them see what's actually happening in the world. L Let them feel the way to and then to help them process what they're feeling and to help them process whereas the good news of Jesus in. In the midst of this broken nece, and and so my kids, they've seen some of the riots that have happened on TV. They've heard the stories that have been happening They heard the story of George Floyd, and what happened to him, and then, and then what we do is we use that as an opportunity to talk about race, and we talk about injustice. an opportunity for us again to talk. Talk to her about how God creates all humans in his image, how every single human bears the image of God and because of that how they have intrinsic Value and and again like windows, so you have these conversations Is this a normal conversation in your in your kids lives, and if it's not do use these opportunities as a wages to point them back to the way got originally designed things. All humans are created in the image of God and they have value for that very reason. And so we talked to them about how creative God is that he creates humans to look all kinds of different ways, and that all the ways that God creates, humans are beautiful and just rate one of the books that we read with our kids. We've read this to them numerous times, but even we've gone back it during this time. It's a great kids book It's worth reading right now. It's called God's very good idea. All link in the show notes for you, but it talks about God's beautiful like just how God! Has a beautifully diverse family. It's really really well done on link that the show, so you guys have a copy of that. Finally. We'll wrap up. Today by by talking about our role as a worker, and I really want to use this time to talk specifically about my work, namely this podcast in ministry. and I was asking myself this week. Does Dad Tire do a good job of representing Dad's from all ethnic backgrounds and I literally sat down I looked through every episode. We've done in the last four and a half. Half years and in some ways. I I was proud. I was like super proud of the diversity. We've had and I think back on guests like McRae Dr Joe Martin, who's just on recently and Tony Dungee and Cedric Thompson and telling McNealy Alfred Morris Anthony O'Neill Ramey elect K. Jonathan Pitts Jason Wilson gave Patillo like all. These guys African American. Men who've come on and shared their. Their perspective on fatherhood in life, and I felt good on that and I don't say that to like Pat Myself on the back and say hey, look at everything. We're doing I just genuine I. Genuinely want to hear the perspective of people who don't look like me and I'm want that to be reflected in my work and the DAD tired ministry, but that being said I don't think. Think, it's enough and I still want to grow in this area, and so I just want to end this our our time together with giving you to practical things that I'm praying through when it comes to leading the Dad Tired Ministry on the first one. Is I genuinely want to hear from you? I know that there are a ton of guys who are listening who aren't white. you come from all different ethnic backgrounds and races, and and you consider yourself part of the data, hard family and I absolutely love that and I just want to hear from you man. Do you think like we're representing? All Dad's specifically? My non white listeners. Do you feel like dad? Tired is representing all dads or like. Are there aspects of Your Fatherhood Journey specifically that get overlooked on this show because you because I'm a white dude, and I have a white guy's perspective, and not because I think that my perspective's better is just the my perspective, and we it's hard for us to sometimes get outside of our own little bubbles, and so if I'm missing something if If, there's parts of the Fatherhood Journey that that don't make sense to you. Because of where you're at specifically because of your ethnic background, I want to hear that WANNA learn like I. Want to be open minded to that, and and I want I. Just don't want to have blind spots in that, so please reach out to me. You can always email me. Hello, data dot, com and I. Just want to hear from you bro. Secondly. We have a board of directors that I personally report to. I'm accountable to the board of directors. I mean with these guys. Each month. They helped me shape the culture of Dad. Tired but the truth is. They're all white. and so I'm just praying praying this week, God would you start to show us as a board? And as a ministry who can come onto our board and onto our leadership that can help represent the dads who don't look like us. So that those are just I know that's not like the you know. It's not the end all be all. We've got a lot of work to grow but I just really feel like man. It has to start with US personally. That's why I wanted to talk about as disciples first, and then, what does it look like to lead our wives and marriage? Well? What does it look like these conversations with our kids? These are the way that slow changes start to happen, and then for us as ministry. You know we've got a big reach, and so we're talking about. How does a ministry do? We do this well and help be part of change into. Into just we want to be part of the kingdom invading earth. We don't shy away again. I talked about at the beginning like my it tendency is to kind of pull away into numb out to turn on stations to just get away from it and I just don't want to do that. As a man of God, I want to be a leader who steps into darkness because I know that the light is in me, will shine through me and he's in you will shine through you, and so we need more Christians who frankly aren't weird and who aren't scared but are who are tender and bold and who believed that all image bearers. That that all people bear the image of God because they are created in his image and and so man I just want to step into this. I'm challenging you to step into this. Would we all step into it I by listening to what the Holy Spirit's prompting us to say. Would we be bathed in His mercy and his? Grace and recognize that we are wretched senators who've been saved because he I loved us, and so I just want to end by saying this I love you guys deeply. and. Honor to walk on this journey of life with you. I'm doing the best I can to lead us well. This ministry well but I. I also know that like most of the time I have no clue what I'm doing. If I'm being totally honest with you, guys. And and as much as I. Encourage you like to do this all the time I. I'm trying to encourage myself to be faithful to go to the better leader, the better pastor, the better shepherd That's Jesus. And so I. I I encourage you to give grace more than you give opinions. Encourage you to listen more than you speak I. Encourage you to spend more time in prayer than you do in fear, maybe an anger. Encourage you to love and to lead well because you trust the one who is loving. You leading. Expert.

Jesus DAD US George Floyd NETFLIX Lopes officer partner Dad Tired Ministry Tuck WanNa Grace Salah Dad jared president Leyla
Season 3, Episode 8  The Gospel According to Dad

Bad To The Dad

1:11:13 hr | 7 months ago

Season 3, Episode 8 The Gospel According to Dad

"If you're the kind of dad who has appointed himself the principle of his home school bunch wife says your vice-principal and this is the podcast for you. Covert nineteen better known as Corona virus has spread throughout the world. Information about children with this disease is limited but they are known to have had mild symptoms. Many organizations are responding accordingly depending upon their area. It's best to stay home and away from others especially when sick and continue following healthy hand wash guidelines covering mouth and nose and not touching your face or hi touch surfaces clean and disinfect high touch services regularly and for more information please visit CDC Dot Gov forward slash cove. Nineteen thank you. We are the podcast celebrating suburban dad life and we are bad to the dad with coach. Randy and Adam de flattening the curve by conducting this episode which is called The Gospel according to Dad by way of Zoom. And if you're going to be talking about flattening the curve well flattening and curves is really only one person you could be talking about not as coach Randy. Hello Coach Randy. How are you going to do my best to flatten my curve I'm not sure about you. We got lots of cover This week but my kids discovered All of our old pictures as you know were sitting in the house Add reported for. We're we're we're running out of things to do going into the ball right so Kayla was looking at our wedding album yesterday where I look at myself. I'm like wow. I put on some weight and she's like. Wow Mommy used to be so brown right. It's so what happened is I realized I had all these pitches before they were digital and so we started going through Some of these pictures that we used to did that was a thing. We had pictures on four by six pieces of paper. And just stacks them. It just started going through them Jesse cer- really old things of her brother Jordan That he shared online pictures So as actually A nice thing I mean even though yes I'm GonNa flat my curve over the next few weeks Not sure about you. But that was one of the funny moments of our our home schooling. So how `bout you and flattening the curve? I gotTa tell you something you know. They're going to be people twenty years from now that say I live through Cova and it was hard and I gotTa Tell Ya coach. It's really not that hard to have a pandemic have it now in the hands of the Internet streaming Amazon trucks. I mean there's more Amazon trucks on the road than any other vehicle. I can tell you that L. Thank goodness is doing their job. They are considered essential doing a great job. they're not delivering any hand sanitizer but delivering other stuff. I don't know maybe photo albums but we we decided to order Some puzzles and some games. Yeah so a lot of that stuff a lot of bricks and mortar guys as entertainment and tell you the xbox is keeping my son socialized and of course facetime is keeping my daughter socialized and those in times like these are very very positive but yesterday I took a drive with the kids just because we had to get out of the house. WanNa see how are the rest of the world was doing and Chick-fil-a in our area right and when I say in our area ten miles was going to say we're chick-fil-a with George. So No it's an IT's an Morris Plains. By the chick-fil-a there are to drive through lanes about a quarter mile. It's like it's like inspection at the DMV on a Saturday morning. No one's getting their cars inspected but they are getting chick-fil-a and they they they send out associates orders on an IPAD. Ten cars deep. So let me tell you something. Yes the pandemic is horrible. No that the number of a ride. Yeah but if you have to quarantine yourself the year twenty twenty with all the amenities that we have is not a horrible time to do it and as far as keeping busy and a house you might. My daughter is Essentially rehearsing for interview for a scholarship for a team to work for the summer. It goes on and hopefully this and single it. We're we`re. We're hoping that the summer camp programs goes yeah and then My son aiden in addition to drumming. He's been practicing golf with practice. Golf Bald in the basement. But he's also going to the old toy boxes to see you know what. What can I possibly use to entertain myself? And he's been doing these trick golf shots with this old hot wheels tracks. Athletic kind of there is. He'll he'll he'll and then the ball will go down the stairs on hot wheels track. It'll knock into a car which will knock into another golf ball which will go down in the studio. Hey look you know that. The kids are being a lot more inventive. Because they say invention is the mother of necessity desperation desperation. Desperate Times desperate measures so we didn't grow up with these amenities and actually. I am teaching my kids Frisbee Golf. I'll play Frisbee golf but I do have to admit that with the State of New Jersey. Such snow shuts down which we now are in Which I get on fine. I'm happy my my family's good We've been here at home now for seven days I love the fact that they believe. Liquor stores are are essential business remain open so I think as long as our liquor stores remain open I think parents Have have a future of being home school teachers and principals. It's the only way to get through it adult medicine and you know I was thinking about liquor stores being essentially like what else does a liquor store sell other than beer wine and booze other and you know some of the liquor stores that I frequent? They do have candy food section. There is water there. Sodas so you get a cigar case you can get a cigar and and who doesn't need a cigar floating cigar. Yes we were living in very interesting times at just happened to be here. We have a great show. Don't we have the Sherry regular dairy musical show and you know yes we're talking about. Covert and how cove in nineteen affects people of all different walks of life and all dad's of different walks of life but very musical show. We're going to have the great call. Ristorante R&B Gospel artist. He's also a teacher so this is affecting him directly in his his everyday profession and our old friend Jason Johnny from Season One. You might remember that episode Raddatz Dads so he's GonNa come back on the program. We're going to do three questions beyond the spike questions with him. But we're also going to talk about how he has readjusted his profession in offering online drum lessons. So you know musicians are entrepreneurs to the degree and we're GONNA see how they're working through Kobe but also take our mind off of Co but a little bit and you know. Cover some some positive messages. Just to serve as a distraction and I gotTa tell you coach you know who the antidote is for the virus of lousy marketing and graphic design. You know I was going to ask you a question you live. We knew what I was thinking which is rain coach because we are miles apart We are Literally at different sides of West Orange. Ed you're thinking what I was thinking how do you do that? Same Wavelength Man. All Right Sook. Do you know what you mean enough time? That we sailed a pattern. You can fill each other's sentences. Yes we're talking bourbon branding right a bourbon. Becky PERMIT RIGHT OF BERMAN BRANDING OF BERMAN DOT COM. Here's here's the thing. There are so many people seeking Michelle's I actually don't mind be at home would actually kind of Nice to work from home note. I could probably do. I could probably start a business from home and now what you do. Is you think about that idea or maybe do a side hustle. Because now we're all desperate for some extra income you call becky. Berman Berman. Cis DOT COM. She's right there few. She will help you. Website logo design. You name. It don't go anyplace else. Go to Berman Branding Berman. C S DOT com. She was the one who designed our logo bone daddy which you can find on the key chain that opens bottles and opens doors and you can see it on all of our social media platforms. Instagram at bad to the dad of course our website back the dead DOT COM and even facebook. Because everyone's on facebook downloading the means. The means are funny. Funny and everybody connected. Our facebook page is facebook dot com or slash bed to the debt. You know as as you're talking I'm thinking about always recorded from the dead right and so I'm still in the den right. So I'm recording from the den but We needed to our listeners. You're recording for some other place. Would we called your your place. What is Your Room I think we should call it. The fallout shelter. Because I have shelter. I I've got some I finish basement. There are walls up. Carpeting downers a ceiling above my head. But it's essentially a glorified storage facility and we haven't decorated it yet. I haven't made up my own office simply because this is the place where my son and his friends come down. And they're essentially throwing balls off the wall and banging each other and I don't WanNa have I don't WanNa have too much decor in and have you know too many too many things that are going to be important to my business because they'll ultimately get broke hit so the here's what. I'm thinking I I love are dead. I WANNA call your place the cave. Aren't it definitely feels like a cave? It's dark so life from the Dan and the Cave Right McKay's dad's especially you know. Many have a man cave in their basement can appreciate it so yes. Mccabe works all right so we got up. We have a new introduction to our show today. Ladies and gentlemen and listeners. Welcome coach Randy de from the Dan and the Katie's Dennis ever under duress. You're welcome to come over here too. So we'll show as long as we permission so good week. I mean you talked to a few things you had a solid week. It's been a crazy week at MD. I mean we have seen our lives go from normalcy to complete lunacy Yeah it's it's a different kind of zero to sixty because you're at a seventy five for for somebody like myself so I am Still working I'm working from home but you know the business that I'm in is nursing so you know we are What I would say is betwixt and between because we are trying to determine up to the minute what is essential and what is non essential personnel. So I am nonessential personnel as far as coming into the office. Because I'm not a clinician staff person. Yeah right and I gotTa tell you I have to salute and give nothing but sincere praise and applause to all of the healthcare workers out there who are working in the Er now they call it the the the emergency department just one room. Yeah You know our our home health and hospice nurses. Because every time they go into somebody's house they don't know what they're getting into they could be coming into cove incase. It could be coming into just a normal revisit just to see how the person's doing and and and having to review a chart so I'm kind of hearing all of this from my dining room table yes I do have your boardroom exactly. I do have registered nurses on staff on my team. Yeah and I was talking to one of them yesterday. But she said look I have a lot of jobs right now. On this cove in Nineteen Task Force and I'm seeing patients. And she also helps to manage a residency program Home Health Residency Program with me. And she's like you know. How do we prioritize necessary? Don't worry about the residency program because that's An important function but it's a non essential function trying to keep up with the Kobe News. But one thing that she left me with before she hung up this she said I gotTa tell you. I'm really proud to be a home health nurse during this period and I have a daughter and she's really young I think she's under to or just about two and she's not at the age right now where she's realizing kind of what the gravity of what's happening so. I I can't wait til she's little older. And this thing is done and I can go back with stories or her. What Mommy did during the Cova nineteen months and how she helped people and reach patients patients. Who are in dire need of healthcare services that really put it in perspective for me that The these folks are almost like soldiers. We'll get these are modern day. Heroes many of us do remember nine eleven. What was going on in the heroes that were going around The frontline staff the health workers the AIDS The people to gas stations grocery stores that really are coming in with potential risk allowing us to live our lives. Those are today's heroes. I mean for me and my week You know my wife's an educator Ed I cannot be going to tell you what teachers have had go through. And what? I've watched my wife Jessica through Mad Props to her In terms of turning around literally within forty eight hour period in many cases of going from were in school seeing kids to have an Everything into an online experience literally overnight when most teachers are trained. Interstates are all in person especially kindergarten first. Grade Third Fifth Middle School I hope that we have a renewed interest and appreciation for educators Because what they did. What they have gone through was amazing in our family. We've chosen we. We have a routine we get up. We what I happen to love the fact that we now have dinner together we we used to strive to have dinner together as often as possible but it was always something. I always kind of meeting. I was working. I mean you know. I'm out over. Forty five workshops presentations because of March and April Edged up in a few seconds. You're going to do a little Selfish grandchild and promotion But it is incredible that we now have this time and so my youngest pre said data. We really have dinner together every night coach. Yes I don't know I don't know how your dog's feeling it's August like. Why am I taking walks day? Exactly I've got I've got nowhere. Pootie give I keep taking me out there? I'm like three. I'm a three walk minimum dogs exactly. I've got I've got nowhere. Pila please house you know so. We do have routines things like that. there is a renewed appreciation We've done some things obviously doesn't take talks We we actually have mentor or Movie Nights We're GONNA do some game nights Today the kids want me to do a scavenger hunt around the house so It's been really interesting weekend. I think our guest today will help you mind this And do have a second to self promote. Would you be okay with that hundred percent student? Let'S HAVE DAD. Help other DADS and another family to continue to make money in this trying time. You know so. Thanks to you know what I've been going through and I appreciate your constant text messaging calls because my livelihood I. I'm one of those kind of Americans that has kind of traditional kind of job. Yes I'm a professor and I teach classes but I also do my business with clients. And most importantly speak your gig economist. You know so At all my workshops cancelled tonight it was going to be my best march and April in his in like five six years In history and now for the most part I will recoup that money. So it's it's a little bit freaky Because as you know we do things to make our living and pay our bills and so we're good until the June because it teaching money's there with the money I made much. April always lasted through the summer. So I'm going to Provide some webinars for parents. Also want to give a shoutout to all these DAD's It's going to be a dad vice on steroids With with coach Randy in terms of those who have kids home. That are middle school aged. And those who have teens home that are doing it and the other one is for parents with college. Kids coming back home. And then I'm gonNA promote different kind of character. Ed Experiences for some of those kids who are coming back from college That are might be juniors and seniors. Arche at the support from the colleges called the Call career jump starts to help them. Work on resumes them work on networking skills because this group is seniors would be looking for jobs right now at the big fear is with nobody hiring. This might be the very first generation of seniors who literally might not graduate with many jobs And so that's a whole other issues. That parents have to deal with So little self promotion so be on the lookout for Webinars by coach Randy. It'll be my bread buttered. Hopefully I'M GONNA PRICE. It really low. I mean normally. I price it higher of price it low the first film for parents. I'm GonNa just do as free because I think that's important formation but the other stuff. I'm hoping that maybe a payroll take risk and give me a few hundred dollars. So I can get ten ten fifteen kids and I can help survive and take care of my family. Help kids along read so they coach. Thanks thanks for offering that and if I may piggyback on that Now I'm I'm working so I have the blessing of earning a paycheck through An organization so what I'm GonNa do is I know you do it for the for the kids. 'cause team coaching is is your stick. So for those Adults who are in transition or are completely out of work can need to hit the reset button. I am happy to offer a direct one on one strategy around Finding a new job. you know using all the digital resources as well as the offline resources Resume Review and how we can beef up your resume to give you a competitive advantage. Can stand out from the crowd Please contact me through bad to the DAD. My background is in talent management which includes talent acquisition. Which is a fancy term for recruiting as well as learning and development so happy to offer that one on one coaching instruction again on. Resume Review and strategizing for finding your next job so good couple of resources that we want to provide to the listeners. Out there doesn't have to be a dad. It could be wives. It could be friends. This is not gender specific or better yet. If you're looking for a particular job let us know connectors as connected just to our listeners. Out there I think is like a mayor of he knows everybody You'll see the connection. He has in terms of our guest today. Adam D I think you Louis No I think five thousand people. I mean. It's incredible of how you know so many people. So let's do this coach We have an email contact us at bad to the bad dot com. What is it coach? Contact US AT BAD DAD DOT com contact us at bad the DAD DOT COM. So if any of our listeners. WanNa take advantage of any of these services that rainiest providing that D. is providing. Please hit US. Up at contact us at bad to the dead DOT com. We also give a shout out to tap into it. Oh Yeah of course set out to tap into it. And that's tap into dot net. We WanNa Thank Jessica Danielle for providing us with a platform to advertise each. And every podcast of bad to the DAD. And you will see Some pictures I had helped my my son Matt Eaton takes them some pictures of us over zoom Here in the cave while that broadcast is going on and you know. I think that'll give us another opportunity to PSA social distancing handwashing as well so we also it might be we had Believe Boursin come up my feet a couple of times this week Tap into it And speaking of contact us a badge. The Dad We have an email section now of our of our show and We actually got an email. Who took the time? Email is how I got to say. It's not. It's not one of our most common emails Course it says coach Randy Ab de dear coach. Adam de new to the show. Great podcasts quick. Question boxers boxer briefs or tidies asking for a friend Julia So listener supposedly asking if asking for a friend Julia. I'm not your friend might be but She's curious what do you would you go with Adam de well first of all it helped. Julia is actually a woman. And not like one of these. You know fifty five year old guys living in in his mother's basement like who goes to chat rooms and use out right. Yeah I'm GonNa go with the fact that this is a a wife or I think this is a I think this is legit and yeah we're going to default. The truth is this is a mom that maybe she's being at home for a long time. And now she has to see her her spouse or a husband and maybe they're walking around much more in their their undergarments scratches or parts of the body and so so so joe boxes for putting an order in an Amazon and he knew I get. She's asking for a friend so you gophers boxers boxer brief tighty whiteys or some other kind of a combination. Mesh Bikini when possible Well thank you for that. Although suggestions that I wasn't aware of before we did this podcast but I keep it simple. I'm a boxer guy I need breathe ability. I don't like the tightness around my waist of a Super Elastic waistband. So come officers just seem to get the job than even like when I when I play Sports like basketball. You know. I like to play basketball in the REC league. I go boxers. I think I've tried boxer briefs time or two and they were fine Sometimes when I swim I'll have that extra layer of. I don't know why I'm telling people really don't care valid visual. I love the when I when I swim if I don't have the bathing suit with the elastic inside right adding. Yeah I'll go with a swim. Short that You know need needs a buffer zone at buffer. So it'll be a boxer brief you taught me I did. I did teach you that because I'm a board shorts or the swimsuits. Dan Those That that messed up because So it sounds to me like your boys to hang. Free wobbled to and fro without any kind of restrictions. I happen to like boxer. Briefs I believe that I like the cushion and the Conforming of my body to maintain a sense of comfort. If you will that when they kind of dangle and forth it's a little bit difficult chafing goes on it so for me. I do the boxer brief. Julian did not ask what happens. Below the belt. What is your choice underwear? Well I figure you need to add some commentary as to why choose what I choose So this way if she needs any kind of direction for her friend in terms of what we use of Bamako civil listen Adam de uses boxers because he likes the freedom of going on allows for airflow whereas coach Randy he enjoys that the comfort of the boxer briefs that kind of holds the boys intact and wears board shorts. My guess is that it's certainly possible that her husband wears the old school can tidy. Whitey's and if the white Active plus. I'm just I'm just saying so. Yeah you're you're you're conjecturing. You're conjecturing It's so good to have that kind of advice that Julia. We hope that we helped you hope that we help wink. Wink your friend. Yes your friend and may make the best Underwear selection choice for them. We're about to the DAN coming it. Let me and I'M GOING TO BE INFO WITH ABUNDANT. Know which way our with a hard for me on the inside had to make a choice either turn around event bad to the dead with coach. Randy and Adam d the song that you just heard was Carl. Brister's turning point off the album. Love Life. Plus love equals. And I have to tell you that that is my favorites crawl brisk jam course you can hear the whole car brister catalog wherever you download your music apple spotify or any of the platforms that host music. We are very very excited to have Karl Brister on our program Doing things a little differently. This is our first officials zoom at bad to the DAD. Because we are trying to flatten the curve. And keep up at six social distancing Carl amazing to have gone. And we've been talking about this for a while. It's great to finally have young. Welcome to the show. Karl welcome to the show. Thanks thanks guys. I give you a fist bump but it's not gonNA happen. Virtual right there burn crawls hugger and I'm like squeezing the screen right now. I'm afraid I'm GonNa do damage so I'm just going to back up but at a car Carl. It's all about Kobe. We know you're you're a great many things you're a musician. You're a songwriter. You are an event organizer and you're a teacher so I have to imagine on all those levels you are highly affected. Kovin and what you can. You can't do houses affecting you and your family. Yo I mean it's it's the fact that everybody is like everybody in the entire world is adjusting. You know For me as As a educator I am. I'm a math coach. Instructional coach so referring it out. You know how how to navigate a so that teachers can engage with the students of virtually online but also One of the things that I'm thinking through his. How can I help parents? Because Dad mom's now you are the sub you're the teacher now and There's a lot of crazy questions around what that means and how to make sure that kids are getting what they need and people are freaking out there like. I don't know this math. You know so. I'm working through ways to hope parents on my own as an educator So Carl let's go back to kind of how you got into music. I know so much of your music is about hope and inspiration in creating more of an uplifting message rather than sort of criticizing everything that's going on in the world. Tell us how you got into music and how you decided. That is kind of the premise that you wanted to work with as a musician. So you know cool thing about it is. My Dad was my inspiration. So you know bad to the Dad. My Dad to the debt writing so my dad was like the first hip hop artists. I've met. He was the first folk musician I've ever met. He was guitarist The first time ever was in a recording studio with my dad and so I think that passed down through me and then I just it just became an is my passion is just what I do is everything that I do translates through music. Even even mass everything a musical way too is an even there. Yeah so like I teach fractions like mixed numbers. You know when you turn mix number into an improper fashion. Take the whole times the bottle plus the top kids like. Oh Wow we got it. You know so clever. It's a jingle there you. It's a Jay Gould to help remember it. Is that as tactile learning at its best. You know coach if I had that kind of technique. I'd love learning math. I I would not have been put in special math absolutely I would love I would. I would be singing math. That's that's probably hard. Wash my hand right now. That is actually a great head washing song. Just share and learn math at the same time. There you go there you go you have clean hands and you get an and the kids are catching on. They respond to using using tunes. Do they do and then they see that. I'm an artist. They see my videos out there. Crtv and an inspires though. Not only you know to do their math. But the GOPHER THEIR DREAMS. I'm curious to know just a segue Baxter music. What is Your Muse? What is it when you get your inspiration? And at which point did you know you wanted to be a musician? Cut Oba put together music like that. And I've known since I was five I mean all my life. I've known that I wanted to sing and that I've wanted to write music. That made a difference. I don't know how As a kid you know people like stevie wonder People whom US their music. Where in all aspects of people's lives like he wrote happy? Birthday did a remake of happy birthday. And then yet he. He's done things that have resulted in national holidays. Oh I've just always been sensitive to Helping people and a lover of music. I've always loved to sing. I've always loved to perform Is just always been who I am. If you don't what the price is about. How do you come up with the idea to write this song? I are are sponges. If you think of us like that we're sponges. Everything around US gets absorbed. It can be a sound that we hear in nature. You'll hear that in the rhythm track of of a of a be. A headline as happening somehow works. Its way into a chorus or hook. a relationship that we've gone through an experience a love intimacy whatever we express it in the song or or through our art painting whatever we are sponges in the same way that a sponge absorb life it also expels it and the way that it comes out for me is through. Music is through so L. O. V. E. Honestly was written during the time when there was a lot of social uprising. Police brutality Eric Garner a Mike Brown. The police was shot in Houston with retaliation shootings There was so much going on so many visuals that are happening. I felt like people were not operating in love for one another as just human beings and that the missing piece of all of us relating to one another regardless of our race or culture or background preferences was that we're one we all bleed red. We're all be we created by God and before we could get to a solution we had to come to a place of respect and love run another and that's where the song came from l. e. and it just sort of morphed into something that even resonates at this moment that we're dealing with covert nineteen and instead of loving one another and making sure everyone has enough. Many people are hoarding resources not allowing our elderly to be taken care of I But then when you step back from it and you see that we're all connected and we en- through love you'll see the generosity of these restaurants that are providing free free meals and an other. There's an artist McRae who's providing free wash basins for the homeless Sunday. Dick Hands I mean acts of love happening and we just need more of that more though. And that's how we get through times like this and that's where the inspiration for L. O. V. E. counts. So do you write the lyrics? I or do you lay the tracks. The music down and follow just curious. No that Kinda writing How you can buy the instrumentals with the lyrics. It happens Both ways for L. O. V. E. The music ahead the lyrics I in the music sort of married to it okay For Turning Point I had the lyrics I and the producers came with the music. So it's SORTA Kinda just happens in many different ways. Sometimes I'll be like at a keyboard to keyboard right now right. Yeah so sometimes. This thing works here. It's a little but up there. It's called power. They had so I hear it. Oh we could your brother. Sometimes I'll just be sitting at the keyboard and I'll think about a situation and I have some chords and just kinda say is saying this. Other thing know life is called pray for men knows the kid that I knew was going through a really hard time and then these courts just came in then. The song came a little taste love. I don't need no sympa the self know however skull. Help me you know. Thank you for your home remedy. Mm-hmm link off conversation from this guy and it just became the song so rations have been many ways. Yes ran love us. If we're not we're we're the we're not worthy of somebody who haven't done on on to the debt. We haven't had sort of like a live. You see this luther called. Those are called goosebumps with that. Is I go to the dermatologist. Goes CHECKED OUT? You can't fake news pumps man Carl. That was awesome taken. Randy's Bait Yes we weren't sharp. We're GONNA force you into being alive musician. But why don't we do this We'd love to hear L. O. V. e. So let's let's play the new single L. O. V. E. which I think is more pertinent and relevant than it's ever been and then we'll come back and we'll learn a little bit about Carl's family this is lv by Curl brister on bad to the debt that the baby can you. Why China mob laughing? Thune thing seven off making money off the wall. Isn't we're bad to the DAD single? You just heard was LV. That's called BRISTER's latest tune You're amazing work Carl at you man. I think we had the advantage of hearing what what goes in what goes into the pot right and then get stirred and then ultimately becomes music so we had. We had the luxury of Appearing really really the the background of it all sort of the workshop of how that song came to be good stuff in wish. You great luck on that tune. Thanks the official release date for that Is Able Twenty four and exclusive right here? We scooped everybody's hurting and shot out when you say cooked it up in pie that the actual producer of that try. His nickname is chef and St Walker. And I I do WANNA shine them out because That was a collaborative effort. That really became something really beautiful. And I can't wait for the world that here as it when when it's released but we will do our part to ensure that Hopefully not just hundreds not just thousands. Tens of thousands people can listen to it and most importantly download So you get paid getting back to the kids so tell us a little bit about your family. I know you've got the two boys J. J. Justin Jordan What do you like to do man so those are my two dudes you know I love. I love fatherhood has been a blast. we hang out. We bike ride together. We do martial arts together. We studied with them. Since I'm a you know an educator they get it you know God. We moyer's lot if they get it all right get it. They do but So we hang out at the beach in the summertimes. We have Nice Nice Father Sundays out of men in the city. So yeah are your kitchen to music to absolutely man. They both armies Justin plays the trumpet. He's in jazz in honor ban while he was honor band his jazz Spanish year Jordan plays three instruments played the baritone sides. He plays the clarinet any plays piano and he plays off three fluently. So are they formally trained through lessons or they learn how to just play by ear and stuff like that I WANNA shout out. West Orange Newsy program for the district. They are were trained through them. But then Jordan he has additional training through Vienna School of music which is also west on us. The A are both trained musicians And then of course dad. I work with them as well. So if they performed with me in Africa formed with them at their talent shows that they've been performing for quite some time coach. Let's do a little bit of Dad. Vice you know one of our favorite segments kind of the way we bring home. Carl is we ask parents actually asked. Dads Costanza really are only guests for for advice and you can take this any way you want. But what is some advice that you would have four dads out there either? Dad's dealing with Cova DADS who are now at home having to teach their kids or just just in general just fifty thousand foot dad vice. What would you go it? Man That's Giving a lot options there. If you want to narrow it down I can appreciate that or you can take answer one answer to answer three all right well so. I think it's the president. I think you can be at home and you know we're working from home and you could not be present. I think this is a major opportunity for DADS to Connect with it. The families I in walking around. I've seen a lot of DADS Outside playing touch football or someone playing a walking with the kids riding bikes with decades late. This is a great opportunity to SORTA Kinda reconnect give them an appreciation for you and you get an appreciation for them. And so don't quarantine yourself off from your family just quarantine yourself off from the outside world. Make this a time where you can connect with your your family I think that would be the biggest thing A. B. B president and. I think it's okay for DADS to say I don't know like my kids asked me some questions about covert nineteen or what's going to happen here? What's GonNa Happen there and my best answer was? I don't know yet but I know we're GONNA get through it but I don't know that answer yet we've never dealt with this before. I will get back to you when I have an answer. I think it's okay the desk to say I don't know had tall brister tying it all together and we really appreciate him. Being on bad to the DAD remember go to wherever you download music apple spotify Amazon music and find the call Brister playlist. Because I think you know in these in these troubled times it turned that on you. Keep it streaming. I think you're gonNA find some great messages. Not just great music great messages. That are gonNA keep going. Keep you inspired. I think it just really good and enjoy the music this music. That's just great to have on in the background coach. You have a website Carl that people could go to to learn more about you and maybe even get some some stuff from you directly. Yes Sir They could go to Congress Dot com simple in from. Now you can get to. All of my social media handles so good Carl brister dot com and everything else. Facebook instagram twitter. You can reach from there. Carl brister thank you again. We wish nothing but the best of luck with music and of course with everything that you're doing in education it's An unusual time. I'm sure people will be writing books about it. You will be writing songs about it. We thanks so much for being on bad to the debt. Thank you this has been great And I appreciate you out a lot anytime. We will certainly have to do it again. We Are Dad. Download US wherever you find. Podcast WE are bad to the dead. The podcast it's celebrate suburban dad life whether that's in quarantine or whether that's out in the field somewhere or doing whatever dad's like to do remember. We are on Social Media. Because if you're not on social media are you anything at all instagram. It's not bad to the DAD. Facebook forward slash bats the dad and of course we have a website called bad to the DAD dot com. It's as easy as that and you can email us now with the address. Contact US at bad to the DAD DOT com again. That's contact us at bad to the DAD dot com musically themed show. We appreciate the fact that musician musicians have to adjust especially musician. Dads have to adjust in this Kooky crazy time known as Kobe. Nineteen also known as the corona virus and our recurring guest is no different. He is our good friend. Jason Johnny Touring Drummer wildly fabulous musician. He's back on to the debt. Hello Jason Great to see you again. Good Morning Happy Sunday greats. You guys thank you so much coming. Yeah thanks so much for having me on again so Jason. You've been on the show. So you've already given us dad vice now. We like to play a game with recurring guests called three on the spot with dad. And we'll call this drummers edition. Okay all right so here we go. Are you reading yes? I'm ready doesn't matter if you're ready you're not gonna ask the questions anyway. Okay okay question number one okay all right if you could be the drummer with any currently performing band. What band would that be? Okay now you guys told me to answer quickly. So I'm going to try to answer quickly here One of the problems is that the music business is so different these days and I think if you ask me this about ten fifteen years ago I would have a very a quicker answer but I'll tell you you know I I always kind of sort of fall back into the combination of my studies. Answer which is everything. That's sort of orchestral and everything. That's you know Sort of modern rock or whatever that sort of thing is and I would love to be in a involved in a band that Like it's so funny. This is not the answer but I remember a couple years ago. I used to follow what Yanni was doing. If you guys remember that year. Not so much new but the combination of the modern thing with orchestral symphony. So probably I would say something like I might not have an answer like specific ban but something that would involve a great rock band with a big orchestra behind it. You know or taking the music that they've done an arrangement for orchestra and has something huge behind it with a coral and that kind of thing. I just loved him. Big The big ensemble type of aspect like that. I'm sorry don't have individual answer but something to that effect. Does that answer questions on this question. So you know you get what you get. There are no mistakes and I said. Look to be occurring ban. I know you and I are still mourning. The death of a meal pure from rush which Jason. I have to thank you. You're the guy who really got me in earnest into rush. Yeah I remember together and and and we were talking about our favorite albums and favorite songs and he would say you know if you like that. You gotTA listen to this. He really got me into the catalog. So thank Jay's going on today certainly welcome question number two you are. On a deserted island you can only have one piece of percussion and one of percussion only percussion is that Well Drum set count as Percussion Larussa and you can have the knowledge of the drumsticks but it to be only one thing to pound on. Wow great question It wouldn't BE ANYTHING DIRECTLY WITH MY HANDS. Because if if any drummers are listening they know that sometimes drum set flares and ham percussionists are very different. So for instance I I've studied no all the rhythms. I have a very big background in Africa. Cuban percussion An African styles and everything but I am the world's worst Conga player in the world. If I hit the drums I literally start crying because hurting so bad so something that would probably utilize my hands. Like I don't know let's say combustion when you shake in hung Jimmy all these different sounds out of it. So let's go with that one you know. I think it's I was for cal bill but I did appreciate IDA. I'll tell you what. Let me change my answer coach. Randy fired me here. So I'm going to say cowbell because I have a shirt that says more cowbell able to wear the shirt and play the cowbell because you always need more cowbell gardens of Keller Kasich can keep you busy so we do. We have a second for like a thirty second story. Of course why not? Nothing but time now going anywhere. That's a great okay. So one of my my my. I teach predominantly college students from three schools and But one of the drummer's collect teach New York City when one of my hobbyists is the guy I'm a mom can is a very high executive at NBC. And he's the second in line producer. Lorne Michaels SNL. So we've been there many times we've gone to the show. Many times he's given us like major tours of SNL. The INS the outs every little room. So the first tour. We were on When you walk into the main suitors look ahead in the stages directly there and some of the US skip rooms or off to the right in another room. The locker rooms off left. Where all the bands play and write off to the left of that is a tiny little side area that they could dress up as alive room and this is just a tiny little pit area and he goes you recognize where we are now. Of course there were no background there. There was nothing in there and I'm just looking around the island. How he goes. You're standing right right at right in the right spot. Where Wilfred said more. Calvo as a holy pilgrimage. My knees start bowing now. That was a great story. A sakes all right question number three number three so as you know and this might be a stereotypical question for musician. But as you know Governor Murphy of New Jersey just Enacted the order for only essential people to go to work and for only essential businesses to stay open and one of those essential. Businesses is a liquor store. Okay so We already talked about the one piece to percussion. What's the one form of liquor or alcohol or as we call it daddy medicine that you would have to have in the house? Yeah if you could only have one well I'm a I'm Italian and actually I'm have signed half Jewish. I got the guilt on both sides but I'm a big fan of like after after dinner. Type Drinks. You know like the Italian after rendering a good shot of amaretto coffee nuts. I'M BUCA. I'm a big fan of like good. Really good limit cello really cold frozen limited cello side up to say something in that family. A really high end like dessert. He kinda you know what you can put it in drake or after after dinner. Tight shot very elegant. I was thinking you know maybe like swimming in it. Never clear on a brown liquor. You know we're going mad dog twenty twenty teeth and my family drives me crazy little ripple little bottle of ripple exactly. Yeah well it's been continual Jason back on April and see if we're looking upgrading or downsizing after exactly you have to the camera street down. Because I'd be on the floor. It all depends on how the incomes coming in eggs down to that point. You know the last time we had Jason on of course he Was about to embark on a world tour with the ultimate green experience. And I know that. That tour took you to far-flung lands like Australia and Singapore and places like Kentucky and we were there another part of the United States that people have not heard our right that was really funny outlet But now you're you're essentially touring your living room and and walking in circles kind of like Randy and I so yes yes musician how. How is Kobe? Nineteen affecting you as far as keeping you busy but also income. Well as a side note. I actually parted ways with The with the Queen Ban a couple months before the outbreak came out and And that's okay. It was sort of a a a. You know we go this way. We go that way. Come to decisions that happens to the music business often but had three great years Like you said touring the world hitting some incredible spots around the world finding places in seeing places. I never thought I'd ever be a part of which is incredible And now Yeah things have changed greatly You know I'm not saying that I prepared for this because by no means I did but You know one of the things that I have been doing since I was a kid which trying to sort of have a balanced life as a musician and not necessarily do one thing and so we're talking performing talking writing articles writing a book. teach You know th the main hub of my career is teaching and that sort of thing so the good thing is. I'm able to do a lot of different things so may record from home in three schools so I have a very very active student base so right now as we speak standing next to my computer and I don't know if you know the music coming through but I was GonNa say I had my keyboard hooked up to my computer and I'm actually cutting tracks right now for the schools that I work in to To do what's called music minus one. Which is you take songs. And you eliminate track by track depending on what you play so avenue or a guitar player and we record all the tracks we send the track to you. We ELIMINATE THE GUITAR. And you can play those tracks along with the With music so we're preparing all that right now is to see how much we could get through in my situation It depends on a couple of things it depends on how many students a lot of my students are foreigners from other countries so it depends on how many of them have gone. Home are continuing to be of the current semesters and everything that's going on right now. If we have a decent student base that are still willing to do this online that it's actually going to work for new else if not then we're GONNA have to see how long this lasts for what we could get through giving all make it work but that's kind of what we're doing right now is sort of preparing for the private lesson versus sort of the class and performance type of situation so you are a on facebook. You are offering music lessons. Virtually outside of your normal Student Body Right. Correct normal collegiate and other academic student body so it could be could be somebody like me who happens to have a drum set in his basement. 'cause this is is Is a drummer so at any age and any stage? Correct that our kitsch. There's only only drums. Are you looking for or able to teach other instruments to while I tend? I can't teach piano and put that up as well but but I I'm not really A more You know sort of ready to pull the trigger on the drums stuff just because of computers in front of the drums. Actually stupid me. I was going to actually move this downstairs And put it in front of my drum set to have more of an ambiance. But I'm all set up for this tracking thing up in my office also included But yeah you know I could teach pianos? That was the case but right. Now it's it's the drums end up. You know the the I don't even know really what my point of putting that up was outside of observed letting people know that even people who are studying with me currently in the schools For people that see outside the schools I was just saying. Hey guys you know. Nothing's going to change your mind line and then I realized Oh wait a minute. That's GONNA probably you know. Pique the interest of people I have not on before and sure enough a couple in group increase about that too. So we're we're moving in that direction for a little while. Is there a website or something that way people can contact you Well you could. Yeah all right so welcoming couple of places to contact me so first of all I am on facebook under my name Jason G I A N and I I unfortunately have something like five thousand friends so it might be one of those things if you send me a message that will be the messes requests area. I will answer And my email is Jason Drummer's Bible Dot Com. That's all one Word D. R. U. M. E. R. S. dot com. And you can reach me there and you will get going Johnny on dad today. Thanks so much and best of luck with everything here. Feel healthy guys is so great to see you. Thank you guys for having me on again and we will talk again pleasure. We are dead. Our guys have a good one. We are bad to the dead with coach Randy and Adam de doing zoom thing. You probably have noticed that it. We're doing the same thing here but we are doing. Our part to flatten occur. Exercising Social Distance Still seeing each other via screen. Maybe that's better you know maybe that That lack of contact between maybe randy. I needed to be separated over the break. The driving you crazy no. It's all good I was. I was really looking forward to This Sunday morning we were calling early Sunday mornings as very much looking forward to this. But if you want to see how this all played out Social Media at Bat the dad on Instagram of course our website that to the dead dot com and you can contact us at contact us at bad to the DAD DOT COM. With your questions they could be about underwear they give how we're faring Especially with the home. Schooling coming up With Kobe nineteen kind of raging more cases. I understand over thirteen hundred in New Jersey and climbing so so we're really in the thick of it and doing the best we can but you know we strive to deliver and we do not want to give up on on the band to the Dad. Our numbers are numbers. Keeps shooting up? I mean I've had a lot of DADS listen to this while they're in their car. The commute and I'd imagine many commuter maybe thirty seconds or less now But it's something you can listen to over the course they're they're working home and give them a break and say listen. This is my time the Dad. I need some dead time to listen to my boys. Gotree Indian adamjee different. Speaking of our boys who WanNa thank two of our fellow. Dad's today one of course was Carl Brister R. and B. Gospel Artists L. O. V. Song I I think that's awful up so not just not just a great tune but Talking about a perfect for our times well then on top of it. I'm so glad I remember. I had asked him prior to our Meeting interview that I was hoping he'd play and little reluctant but I love when we have. I'm so pleased that WHO's able to a letdown. That whatever potential original. I don't think so too. Okay I'll jump into it because I know that For our listeners he did have a facebook live. Instagram live of it. So we've never done that before on our show So we'll give the information leakage or how to watch live if you're on his part but it was really needs to watch him play give inspiration when he doesn't this kids And that he does. He's a math a math coach And then of course Jason Johnny Man Johnny. And now our our old brother here and You know what's good is that. He's also a teacher so fortunately this era needs teachers in all different subjects including music. So I'm glad that he's still working even on virtual platforms and offering the virtual essence to folks who may have always wanted again drumming or are drummers but need a little bit more instruction it's got a great plan for getting people up and running with those virtual lessons so we wish both Carl and Jason the best lock it was a privileged to have him on and and make this kind of musical theme show in light of all the other nonsense. It's happening Edo as we're talking. I don't remember About your I remember. I don't know if you remember the old search commercial number shirts. No Yeah Yeah. I don't think they they make those anymore. But they used to have a commercial two to two minutes and one backup taking two to to guests and what that musicians in one. So listen. We're going to say we're still going to have to the dad no matter what we're doing but but but covert obviously has caused a little bit of upheaval in a lot of people schedule. So we're GONNA say are tentative guest for next week so I guess for next week is going to be in caps draw He's a great friend. Great Basketball Mine. He is actually the radio. Color Guy for the Brooklyn Nets Not a lot of basketball being played and and I think you know basketball is one of those things that we should be talking about because we would have been right in the heart of March madness. Oh man if there's any any major recreational boy that's going on in Chandler Household. That's my last name by the way. Adam Chandler Basketball I mean. More demand is one of those events that I live for. Love the fact that it's an elongated event. It's not just a one game championship. But it's a three week happening. And of course you have the brackets and the conversations and the parties and all that that's gone so you know. Tim is going to help us. Fill the basketball void. If we can't play and watch basketball at least we can talk about. Well I know that not all of our listeners. But a lot of dads of follow sports and March and April for me between March madness. You have spring training with baseball you got an MBA picking up NHL It's also remarkable. How much we all rely and identify our lives through sports. And so there's there's no sports going on and it's forcing many dads either have to go back and watch old games which I kind of fun but then have to find new elements to the cage our spouses. We're to watch sports movie. I watched I remember the titans which is good. Not so great great show. It's in great messages. Just do what you can to fill the void but but speaking Disney plus. Did you watch frozen to know but I have to tell you. I give praise to to Disney for fronting frozen to on the on the APP now saw in the movie theater. But I just didn't bother to watch while it was loaded on the APP but I also give Disney a lot of credit for taking their new pixar production onward and watching it on Amazon. You do have to pay for it. It's about twenty bucks but think about it. That's what you would have been banging movie unless you get unless you get Disney plus anyhow. Because you're a verizon watcher and your wireless I get it for free for the next year so yeah we We sat down. We watch frozen to glad you did. And then onward again on Amazon Better than than the critic said it was and a great family movie because it is a whole whole plotline is about families so I don't want to give too much of it away but go check it out. I think you'll enjoy it and folks just stay safe out there. I've gotTA inside and we're going to go outside. Keep a respectful distance coach. Great to see even if there's a screen between us yes we were going to keep it going. We're going to be back with As vigneault says another invention of the dad next week A Cougar friendly bad to the dance. So we keep up the social distancing keep zooming business their stock must be rising but we are bad to the dad. Dad Stay healthy. Keep a safe distance and have a great week.

DAD Randy US Kobe Carl brister facebook Adam de Amazon Instagram Jason Johnny Jason Cova New Jersey Chick-fil-a Africa J. J. Justin Jordan Ed I DMV
Gleep Glossary: A Star Wars Story #11 - Boba Fett (PREVIEW)

We Hate Movies

03:25 min | 1 year ago

Gleep Glossary: A Star Wars Story #11 - Boba Fett (PREVIEW)

"Okay risk gauntlets lasers miniature flame projector and a fiber cord Luke Kennard and an Rx bar for lunch is like a space rene launcher and a blast tech ee three rifle braided ninety nine nine hundred ninety nine the fair to Mattis hits discreet here fucker cutting off your skills killing little jeopardise I didn't happen of course some asshole comes in with this really insensitive costume that it's a free fucking space fuck you open carry Cantina asides it's fine listen my my buddy just found out his rookie dad has cancer he just does not with but speaking of cancer reminded co please answer cancer kids good to me son of a bitch bitch beyond fat doc. She thought get an unique. RSS Feed you can put any pod catcher or podcast APP of your choice.

Luke Kennard dad Mattis
Season 3, Episode 5  Papa's Got A Brand New Dad

Bad To The Dad

50:55 min | 8 months ago

Season 3, Episode 5 Papa's Got A Brand New Dad

"Reise you're the kind of dad and you are presiding on the podcast that celebrates suburban dad life. And this is the podcast for you. We are the podcast that celebrate suburban dad life. We are called bad to the dad. It's a little podcast that we do pretty much every week. When Jimmy d much every week that voice that you heard the high pitched coach Randy. You'll hear the lower pitch coach Randy and just a bit. This is the voice that I have in my name is Adam de and we welcome you the listener to another episode again of the podcast. That celebrates suburban dad life where we talked to dads of all different creed shapes sizes professions and stages stages in their dad careers. Dad Life the deadly fact. Today we've got a very young dad. In Jordan Kaplan is not just any young dad. Jordan Kaplan is almost like family to talent randy. I Dunno if if he shaved your life or you shaped his life I know you were a coach Mentor and Advisor to him. But I know you had some really really special memories with and we're looking forward to hearing some of those memories I gotta get some dirt on you from him. Well he's got some dirt. He's got the hard part is I knew him when he was fifteen sixteen years. I think it's fifteen sixteen years old so that was like almost the precursor to coach Randy. That I kind of came into islanders coach Randy reg. I met him. But it's great 'cause we had a last minute cancellation sometimes happened there show. It's amazing that he said Chirp he'll do. I'm a little nervous. I'm nobody's GonNa talk about nervous because I'm GONNA ask him some questions but I think now he has facial hair gives facial her now. Oh yeah and he's much older. He's married an. He has a young child young daughter. Yes a daughter. Little girl little girl. And it'll be weird to kind of see him of where he was fifteen where he is now is all growed up man. I WanNa make that programming note because we teased it in the last episode Hassan Mumford. Who is a motivational speaker? Does amazing amazing things with kids in the inner city. Unfortunately he had a death in the family and bad to the DAD does pass on. Its condolences to Assad and his family and we're looking forward to getting back on he's He was bummed that he couldn't come on. He's very anxious to come on. So we'll have him on at the end of March or the beginning of April. That had to the DAD by the way can be found on social media. Our instagram account is bad to dead. Our facebook account is Ford Slash Pad to the Dad. And we do have a website which is bad to the dad dot com and it also comes with a lovely little email now does contact us at bad to the dead dot com. That's contact us at bad. The Dad Dot Com and also to thank our sponsors sponsors and partners. Becky Burma Little Becky Berman. We Love Beckoning. Her information can be found at Berman. Cis DOT COM MCS DOT COM marketing digital marketing websites. And of course graphic design. You may have noticed a little Skull with pipe and hat spectacles. That daddy that's all Becky Berman. Gave her a few little key? Words and lickety-split. She came back with a logo. That looks almost like a Bourbon label. Yeah now she is. She's got she's got game and of course we partner with tap into tap into dot net yes into dot net which is the digital local news networks of thank you. Jessica and Danielle for allowing us to appear on the tap into dot net network if you live in northern or Central Jersey visit tap into dot net. Hit the drop down. You'll probably find your town somewhere in that menu and you'll see the best of local news up to date. Local news and a lot of that news is provided by your fellow citizens so tap into net. Thank you for allowing us a platform and it sounds doing. We do. Sounds like a cold is almost over. Almost there with the very very test to lingering has this. It's not doesn't doesn't let goal. Hold onto your kiss gives an just like riding a bowl. You're the boss. Just go at some point. You just you just gotTa go back to work. You got to be involved in life. You've got to record your podcast and there are some parts of the day. You don't even think about it and there's other parts of the day where Romans you who I'm still here time for another. You hadn't so the reason why I talk about that as we got some Got Some Fan milk this week. Oh we did from contests Bad Dad. All right well Hit US up or the reason. Why is this one? Whatever Listening Hector Character Actor k? Hello Hector Hector. Thank you so much dear coach. We N D. You both had colds this past week. What measure you on? What measure you on. What's your what's Your Med of Sudafed and some cough syrup. Yeah I will try dayquil every now number one nyquil pill at night but I'm usually a sudafed cough syrup guy all right so I'm I'm kind of an old fashioned guy. Start with this all right. Try this old fashioned already. Shot of Bourbon. Ooh because I feel like the alcohol kills bacteria back at throat. Yes and then go to what I call the shit's the Schmitz's a steamer. Okay so a lot of local gyms in this area do have a steam room. Yeah you really sweat the sucker out. Yeah and some of these have just such an oppressive. Steamboat was not the cold. Just has nowhere to highest zoomed from your body and if that doesn't work yeah there's always Nyquil I feel like you need that. That rest is they. Have you seen this Gizmo Were it looks like it's a genie lamp. And he's supposed to be like some hot water and he's supposed to port on one side you know I'm not doing and have it. Cut a slowly. Grew up the other side. Yeah like some kind of supposed to go through your sinus. Yes I'm not doing. Now is ridiculous Ed. Of course not only was a one email week. We had two meals and this was from dougie. Hey Doug from Doug fresh can tell when we grew up yes So dear coach Adam de who is your favorite TV dead. Wow I feel like all my favorite TV DADS are in jail. I gotta be careful. You know I really liked Mike seaver. Yeah from growing up and every time I say grown Pangea. I can't help but go show me that smile and break up into four part harmony. Yes No of course when you say that. Everybody's favorite dad growing up was bill cosby. That wasn't mine you know. It made that comment. Actually I have a favorite dad now on a show that I watch. What's the Jack on? This is US okay. So you're you're a more data that is also growing up attacked void. You know maybe maybe a Brady Brady Brady. Yeah But you know the But for me it's Jack Right now that are that are ramble as a dad. I Love I love the show. This is us but you know A. There's something about Jack in the kind of relationship this kids and he was always kind of there and Of course I don't WanNa be Jack. You know dying in a fire in the house. No never never hope. I'm sorry spoiler alert but certainly not to binge it's oil but certainly That'd be the data. Yeah you know it's funny on. Tv have a lot of dysfunctional families and non traditional family guy characters. And all that. I thought you might go with Peter. Yeah but You know there are father figures who do more dad work than than most typically. It's like this is going to be a very unusual choice. But David harbors character hopper. Stranger things was essentially raising eleven. Yes right bobby. Brown says yes with all the psychic powers yes but he's got really tender dad qualities and he's also a tough guy too. He's very protective but I think he really enjoys being an adoptive dad. That's very unusual. That's the mail ballot hand. Dougie hector and dougie. And he runs batted in this week. Coach always have some always have some wants that in it was just fortunately breed recovering from her surgery and goodness saw and that's been the biggest focused. Our Week is making sure that she's back up at about at Surgery went well and my daughter's working my son's coaching basically because my son called a couple of days ago asking coaching advice on how to be a better coach to nine. Eleven year olds night. Basically said you have to lower the bar? Just just lower that bar. Just be happy to get them to throw and catch. Maybe run a little bit and swing a bat that you really need to lower those expectations. You'll be fine very cool very then. Michaela of course is going through things so I would have a four. Rbi runs down for a couple of good. Argue is one was with my son. The other was something I had to do with you so Aiden has really gotten into words. He's reading a few more or at least finding more choice words on on the Internet yet hearing them on you too so we decided to play scrabble together. First Time ever played scrabble. All right. Hey. He beat me. I'm not ashamed to say he beat me. Yeah okay because he opened up with a triple word score you'll appreciate groins groin. Not Grind a growing role growing just had to stick that extracts on their grains are and then you know I I got like charter groins. Oh there's multiple there's multiple people. There's there's multiple wrong so unfortunately the letters I pick are a lot of ease and is yeah so unfortunately I is not a word just not white. I opened up week and he just kept piling it on what was his next word. Turds grinds and TURDS. You can't beat that well. I was saying scrabble. Sometimes you pick the letters and sometimes the letters pick Yupik you and they. They was playing. So yeah if you give it to your scrambled. I think he will probably win any Fraternity Party scrabble tournament. He's got a future ahead of and then I had an eye doctor appointment my annual Dr Point. Yes and you've been to the doctor in some. You don't have to get your eyes dilated. What the drops anymore. Now they have this machine where you pay thirty five dollars. It does take picture of your eye and they can see inside inside the eyeball right any any discomfort. You don't have to sit in the waiting room for a half. An hour with your is like a giant chocolate chip cookies. But the thing is for my right eye yeah it. It didn't take like they had to take three pictures. And you put your. I slammed up against a machine opened up really really bright and they say you may notice you may notice some discomfort. You may notice a a big green burst like a big green flash okay so they took it one time all right like I got punched guy. I'm sorry it didn't take up your eye a little bit more as far as it's going to go radio. The Adams like pushing as I I live is halfway through my forehead. Okay try it again. So Alex like it didn't take again. How about one more time? Okay I give me one just losing depth perception. Now wait a minute okay. Now I'm pushing your head. No she's slamming. My head shifting my head bobblehead dolls this flash so finally they got it then. She takes me into another room. You can never do any of this in one room like three or four different and she sits me in the chair on seeing spots because cover your left I give me the last line. You can read it said. Are you kidding me? Every anything green remembers this Green Leafy F. You she's like. Oh that's understandable. Yeah it's understandable but I don't want you to give me a thicker prescription now because I couldn't read the last line because I'm just seeing green's appliance so that was my visit to the doctor. Thank you for sharing. That was very enjoyable. We're bad to the debt. We are bad to the dad with coach Randy. And Adam de were on social media because everyone's on social media so we feel we have to be our instagram handle is at bad to the dad. Facebook forward slash bad to the DAD and our website is bad to the DAD DOT com. Where you can see? Who's going to be on the show in the coming weeks and you can also see pictures of coach Randy and Adam de with our guests including this week's guest and his name is Jordan Kaplan Jordan. We are thrilled. Welcome triple to make it to the job. And y'all grow up thank you so we've got to provide a little bit of background here. Okay so you know we brought your non not even so much to learn about Jordan. This is kind of like this is Your Life. You SORTA special. I just want some some good dirt on Randy Jordan. You have a history with coach Randy you go back away even though you're you're pretty young guy. Yeah what what's The history here? So I was a might've been my junior year of high school. I was very active in our local the neighboring youth chapter and we were looking for a new adviser. A friend of mine said Hey I know this great guy. He's with another youth group but I'm pretty sure we can steal him from there and He put me in touch with Randy Randy myself and our regional director of with Michelle. Who is it was judy? Judy she's still the regional director kidding. She's a wonderful person she is. We met with Randy. I think it was at a Bennigan's yes. It wasn't which was recently knocked down. Uh and it just clicked day when when you sit down and talk to Randi even for two seconds you know. He's a guy you can rely on. You can trust. We just had an incredible chemistry right away and he came back to our chapter and it took off from there We went from having thirteen people in the chapter two. I think within a year it was up to like sixty or seventy well. We ran amazing. Well we had the support of Randy and at the same time randy was was going through a career change of his own and he was starting his his life coaching business so it was actually because I was working with Randy so closely neighbor. It was actually in the basement that I would work with random coaching in before. It was the day before it was the damage where we're sitting today. We were on the other side. But that's we all would babbling. Yes this used to be this areas to be like unfinished cement floor storage place but over. There was Ron Gritty. Yes and now. It's it's become a destination for Dad Guests Dad all throughout New Jersey over the world. Well yeah so so. What kind of what kind of mentoring? What kind of advisement did coach Randy give you? That you still feel was so valuable today. You came out in the rain at the last minute to record this podcast by the way. Thank you so much George course as I said before I do anything for Randy. It's the first time I've ever heard that coach. I got to tell you that several. You don't really hear that a lot about you but it's nice to hear time-to-time with Randy. It's not about a single piece of advice. It wasn't about one thing that he told me that I would bring with me for the rest of my life. It's really more of the idea of how to carry yourself how to interact with people and as a as a junior and senior in high school thinking that I was an adult and now realizing that I was absolutely not ready was one of the first people to talk to me. Like I'm an adult to actually think about what I'm saying to internalize what I'm saying and to give me a real adult response so as a as a seventeen eighteen year old. It's very important to know that there's someone out there who's going to listen to you and to take you seriously and Randy was one of the very first people other than my parents have. Always been incredibly supportive but randy was one of the first people to take me seriously as an adult to know that my voice was being heard and a as a teenager it gave so much confidence and just that alone allows you to to really open up your mind and feel free to express yourself into be comfortable with who you are. Great Commercials Fade to black in he. He's he's blushing now and I'm sure he's he's super flattered with what fifteen years just. What coach needed now now? Let's hear some stories zero trouble. You may have gotten you into so is true Jordan connected right away and there's certain kids and teens you meet and Jordan has been one for the age. I got a few of them. I have another one. Who is WHO's in South Korea right now. Who's the captain captain? Kaplan he's a doctor named was raped and I happened to go on a thing with our synagogue for each other. He's clicked with one person. He was a talker now. He stationed South Korea. She was in the art of the military. Frampton Kaplan So there's A. There's a few that have been part of my life in Jordan is one of them And Way before there were there podcasts. And George George I got just real quickly Jordan. I remember when I was The adviser we were talking game. He asked me if I've manscaping. Okay I will tell you. At the time I had. No idea was talking about and he asked you this. He asked me if I personally didn't on my needs to preface this by saying it did come up naturally in conversation. He was not a curiosity. Ongoing. As you mentioned in the conversation whatever it was what it was just because it came up I was like what are you talking about? I never thought about putting any kind of clippers. Object anywhere near my midsection and I thought that I was all natural. Let it go on natural and get to throw enough. You know image out there. Yeah I have to say this since I know that my friends and family are going. Be Listening to this. It was also Brad Stilman Mike. In conversation he was not just me. Yes Oh gosh. What's he doing now? Brad was on jeopardy recently. No kidding and he did a great job although he missed the question with Rory mcilroy and I hope he remembers that yes days. I hope it haunts him for much longer than he did a wonderful his house. It's a shadow. Of course. Speeds Bax feedback is living in Colorado. They're both married to wonderful women and and they are living life. They're doing really great. So I mean we worked with teams. They wanted to get to know you and ask questions and I don't know where it came up. And so that's when I first learned about the idea of Manscaping I I felt very intriguing. I also exercise with them where we did things like about passing notes back in our God I thought visor of young boy going into territory that yes dangerous and I remember talking about passing notes and looking like I was like what do you mean passing notes. You don't pass notes because back then. It was the beginning liftoff texting Yup. Oh Okay and the cut afford to the flip phones and these kids teeny could get could sit back in their back and tax something to come and talk to you and they were unbelievably talented. It's very impressive. Given that those flip phones yeah. I've had to hit a key like three times to get anybody to take a little. I know what was going to take off after that. But was very these guys kept me young kept me and I think he's created new through college but the funny the funny thing about that. I'm now hitting that area of my life where I'm learning things from young kids for example. Tick Tock I'm learning to ask for my daughter and I'm just learning now what that is but so. Apparently it's a cycle that continues forever. Yes no it doesn't so your new Lemberg right. Lafayette Lafayette left. You want US goes down every visit. That was gang member speeds back without in. No never you're always Jordan. But stilman stilman species back referred to his last name's similarly special amazing. This is a reality version of American Pie people listening. We don't know from speech back. If I don't know from Rafe yes right. We're talking about them as if yeah. We'll their characters people change the world. These are people change the world and part of it is now. I'm now place in my life. Where the kids? The teams are now. Adults fathers. Well that's that's what brings US brings Jordan here but there was another story Before we talk about what you do is before there were podcasts. I did host my own radio show. Yeah it was co coach Randy. Show whatever it was and we used to record in New York City and I convince Jordan speech back to come in with me for the show for the radio show. We'll post some pictures of the of the two of them when they were deposed. A side by side. Here's what I look like now. Face overplays back then your puppy Fifteen or sixteen there right. But he's a very embarrassing age and so you always take the Jewish kids need so we got there early enough in the reserves pizza place right next door and well yesterday much better is a for for those who are listening and no speech you know. He's a wild and crazy guy or at least was he's funny. He's still he is. He is but he decided that the warmth of the pizza during which I assume it was a cold day would feel good close to his body. He of course decided to choose an area of his body just below the belt just above the knees and decided that you know that was probably the smartest place to have placed the pizza so this was an accident. No drop it. Well it has he he eventually. He eventually dropped all over his crimes. It'd be funny. I'm not sure if it was on purpose but boy yes so so then he had to do. The radio show covered in covered pizza all over his crotch. But that's not actually even my favorite story yesterday. My favorite days actually doing the radio show because when Randy Ed Hensen because I have to tell you not a lot of changed and we haven't come much further north of the belt filter manscaping and pizza in the Crotch is these are the takeaways absolutely randy. You stay young stay young but I see the positive influence that you have provided to. America's youth we we have in Georgia reached out to me a couple of months ago. I think we have to have your show because Jordan is a new debt new debt. A New Dad we so we interview all kinds of dads and you'll see social Jordan's a very young Dan. Yes and a new new debt almost a shadow. Yes and we'll talk about that but also You became an attorney. I did a fairly full of accountants. Though of of remember correctly van. Correct the great. My brother is a consultant. My sister is a CPA. My Dad is now a retired. Cps and my mom retired with him. They are enjoying their life between Livingston Boca and they're loving being grandparents. Sister is also very much. Jessica it still is still is an hurt her baby boy. I had her in eighth grade in Hebrew school. I taught her yes. Yes you are teaching Hebrew school easy Hebrew school. I'm totally flabbergasted that somebody asked coach Randy to be a professor of sociology at any institution at any level the fact that he's teaching anything of a biblical nature is and now. I'm doubly floor. It's but the world is on. That's right and then you're at your brother. Matt came after he was president with it through him. Who's also a great kid that your your parents did? Incredible job of all three of them to Robert Kaplan. So but you had to go. I did it was it was something that was really always going to happen with me so I went to Lafayette. I graduated Lafayette in two thousand ten. And right before I graduated. I was thinking about really what I want my life. And what kind of degree did you get in Lafayette Economics and business? Okay so in the ven diagram of numbers so and during my sophomore junior year. I started thinking about what I wanted to do. I was either going to go into finance or go into law but fortunately my sophomore junior year was two thousand eight so that decision was made for me and I decided to pursue law school I went to rutgers. Newark had a wonderful education. I love going there and and right in law school I started I had a summer associate position with Fox. Rothschild loved it and I got an offer right out of law school and I've been working there ever since. Oh yeah local. Now it's funny Jordan is dressed in a suit. I thought he came dressed up just to impress you now. Just see how far he's come yet as far as daily and the socks are amazing of the milk and cookies at the star. Wars not do love those hours. I spend money and Falcon Stein. The thing is as a lawyer. It's one of the few professions left where you wear a suit and tie to work and we do have to address Present a sense of professionalism. Closer moment at someplace there. Are There Times that you were very concerned? Most college kids and coming out. You realize you know everything's GonNa be okay. I've got this time like that. I gotTa tell you it was very early on. Yeah very early because I went to law school under the perfect circumstances just everything was perfect for me and it so let me explain so I graduated. Undergrad in May of two thousand ten a week. After I graduated I met the woman who become my wife. She was planning on going to law school as well. She was a year behind in school but she was still taking the sats. She knew she was going to be on the right direction. So right then and I I knew from the Damn I was Gonna marry her right then. I knew I had a great support system for me in my first year of school which is by far the hardest that she know that she was going to marry you. I hope so pretty convinced I was GONNA marry curious about. Does she say? Don't think so. I think so like you hit it off. We hit it off right so we actually went on a double date with her best friend. Michelle who's still one of our closest friends today and sees back. No kidding. They were dating at the time. They wanted a couple of friends. All right so Michelle knew that I was going to law school in that my wife broke was going to be going to law school. Says she set us up for that reason alone and actually I can tell you the moment that we clicked. Yes We were. We were at a bowling alley. We were playing twenty questions and she One of two questions than the other one got it right away and the two questions. Where is it a famous person? And are they dead and from that she gets? Gary Coleman what really 'cause Gary Coleman had died the week before okay so it's always at a bowling alley playing twenty questions much. Bowling is but I think right so the reason why law school was perfect. I turn digress. I being obnoxious adolescent thinking individual had to ask you if it was the same for her so please I guess it was the same for her so she was supportive. Incredibly supportive and also. She's much smarter than me. She was at Undergrad at Columbus. He's much more than she married. You know she was an Undergrad at Columbia so it allowed me when I would visit her on the weekends. Not only to visit her in New York on the weekends but it would also allow me to study in their library over the weekend so when she was writing her thesis studying my first year of law school and then the other perfect element that happened for me was I was living at home with my parents in Livingston which was exactly a twelve minute drive to Newark and with living with my parents. They effectively just gave the basement and made that my study area. So supportive parents. Who would you know? Make sure that they didn't have to worry about anything else in my life and I could just focus on law school. That's great. Oh it was. It was the perfect set of sock away. Any cashew might have been making it the time right right so it was. It was really great for me. So the point of that is I don't know if anyone else could replicate it. But it was what I wanted to do and I just went full out now that being said I have other friends who worked all the way through law school and they did just as well. They're at firms or in house somewhere as well so it's different for everyone but I got really really lucky that I think it's luck seriously. Is that because of your effort your energy that all this was some kind of plenty of putting emotion that in my effort and my energy was able to get me to the schools was the part of me that you know. We do well on my on my exams into all of that but the luck part is I mean. What are the chances that I was born to my parents that I met my wife at the time that I met her that I was? Let's face it the most lucky thing and I'm going to quote the Office. I was born in the USA baby. So yeah a lot a lot of Islam. I am extraordinarily fortunate to have the support system that I have and I know from experience especially in the past that not everyone has what I have and I am so fortunate every day work hard though right I do. I do how many hours you put in billable hours bill. Aris so I think last your boss might be listening. I Know Matt last year I had something like twenty two or twenty three hundred billable hours to twenty four hundred now. Well legal returning. If you weren't doing like twenty four hundred billable hours they want to talk to you. Went to the twenty twenty four hundred billable hours when you start moving into Manhattan. Yeah Fortunately I. My Office is based on Jersey. So you have a little bit of a like a little bit not much not much but I liked the life that I have and and and your wife does. She work on our own for law from his well. She also works for a law firm. She works very rook. Brooke is my shoe. She works for Pitney Own. Another firm. Yeah She. She is a brilliant person and she does Real Estate Real Estate. And you have no idea no idea whatsoever. I look. I can litigator real estate matter. I know when something goes wrong. And what standards are and. I can do the research on that. But what she does day today is a complete mystery to me and honestly that's why we have lawyers who specialize in different things. I feel like that work though is is always consistent whether the market's up or down well you know there's there's there's always something either to litigation there's always a contract There's multiple kinds of real estate. Seems like that's. That's a a beefy practice of law and so you met. Brooke right then and there. You know law school How did you know that you know? How did you propose curious to see if you? Yeah so so we had lived in Manhattan so after after my wife graduated Undergrad. She moved to she went to Fordham law school which was right by Lincoln Center so for her first year she lived in the dorms at Fordham law school and then for a second year we moved into a one bedroom apartment literally right across the street from her law school. So Lincoln Center became an area that we really started to like after I graduated in two thousand thirteen. And then I went to working at Fox Rothschild. We moved into Jersey City Which was awesome that Love Jerseys and I knew we were going to get married so she was not shy about what ring she wanted so she was able to tell me my mom my sister. We all went. We bought the ring together and I told over over series of time. I started telling Brooke that I was doing work with Lincoln Center Fox Channel does a lot of Lebron employment. I said we did some work with one of the unions that performs at Lincoln Center and I said I was able to get tickets to la boheme level. Him Lebanon it's an opera. Would do you know what is an upper Amos former Broadway show is based on Laba win. I knew just some trivia for you Jordan. Hit US rent rent. That's right now. This is the song. La Vivo Emma. So that that's why Cheney if your culture if you're a culture of cultural a throat culture the as close as it's like that to how are we digress back so I put this in her mind for a while that we got tickets La Boheme and we were taking the train up It happened to be a snowy night so I kept trying to convince her. Yeah the the weather's fine. She kind of caught on a little bit. But when we got to Lincoln Center we found out front. Our families were there. We had a photographer there. And I got down proposed and the funny thing is we videos of it and I. I told you that I was on my knee for five minutes. Tell you how much I love her. I think I was down on my knee for about three seconds straight away. We all went out to dinner. We've we've been out to dinner after we met up at a bar with a bunch of our friends and yeah fantastic story. He's all grow up grow up and he's all grown up the big winner. Jordan's a bit silly swears your dad. Now I am Dan. You got a little one. I hope she is seventeen months now. Still Living at home you know when we can keep her home smart fairly so I thought maybe she's on the fastest she thought payroll. Yeah we we watch a lot of ABC so when the news comes on and says it's ten PM. Do you know where your children are. Sometimes they gotta turn your head out clubbing. So seventeen months. I mean you don't have a huge resume work with Bob. What is what does she like. You started to see what she likes to do. She well right now. We're big on task. Elmo and Minnie mouse luminaries of children's television and fullest Boise Elbow. You don't tell me Elmo very well I have a bit. And maybe she'll appreciate this. What if Mickey Mouse was teaching sex education in public school when she liked this boy today? We're GONNA be into a but this is not about me right. This is about elmo but a lot of sesame street in our house and I gotTa tell you that show does some great work because they make it entertaining parents inside parents but that thing is still going on their fiftieth season. You know so so. My daughter is her. Name's eleanor. But we call her lenny. Anita so let me tell you the we are very fortunate that between my wife and I When he was born she had seven of her eight. Great grandparents still alive. How real great grandparents? Wow and how many are left now? Six migrated Recently passed but that's what it was. Yeah Yeah and the one who did pass away was my wife's maternal grandfather who his name was sheldon called him money so we naturally his middle name is so and that was before the Big Bang Theory Sheldon Leonard But We wanted to honor him. So we we got the name Lenin. Kinda work back from there and realized Lenny could be short for eleanor. Eleanor works because once we get up to argue great grandparents. There's there's enough people whose name starts with E. Love how you're backed into that. He has an attorney after all a creative guy. You got to begin with the end in mind. Work your case backwards. That's exactly it and indeed. He did so You're a young family real quick so okay. I was in the middle of a question but go ahead. No no okay fine. I'll take. So what do you like to do with Lenny and book? We we like to spend time with her. She's a great kid. She she's dramatic that's for sure she gets at from from me but but we like yeah a little bit. Yeah we we like this. We like to go to the park with her she. She loves going on the swings. She loves going down the slide. She likes she loves our dog Ringo. He's he's a seven-year-old Toy Australian shepherd he's on Instagram as Ringo. The Toy Aussie naturally went with the most talented of the Beatles and we are Beatles. Fan mckearney was a my touch. I saw that in front of a big shop. I saw that the other day. I I was very close to getting up at driving to Mitch because I live in Scotch plains. Oh you're not far. Yeah that's right We are huge beautiful. Our wedding song. I want to hold your hand a slow version of it so we we like to just spend time with her Whether it's going to either of our parents houses going to visit are siblings. We have everyone around this area so we spend time with with her great grandparents. We were fortunate to get a lot of pictures of her great grandparents and her grandparents and she gets to spend time with them and we just like to introduce her to new things in different things. 'cause she seems to be amazed by everything. So here's a question. I have let me put. You must have invested a lot of money in your education in an undergraduate school. Law School Right. How many how? Many courses and classes you take on parenting. I'm just curious. Zero zero zero. It is. This is the biggest piece of advice that I've had to all of my friends who have had kids a status to listen to the podcast others. Dad Forget all right. So we'll just we'll just a guess we don't have to explain. The data comes together with it. Interestingly despite the fact that I was thirty when I had lenny I'm probably I think one of the first of my friends to have kids people having kids later but the biggest piece of advice that have been given to all my friends. No one has any idea what they're doing when they have a kid and knowing that makes a world of difference. You're not supposed to be doing it. It's just it's just the most serious game Tamagotchi that you're ever played mcclatchy. Wow there you go. Yeah a real back to the last day honestly for the first six months or so. There is sack of potatoes. Yeah they're they're fun to have their fun to look at but they don't really do much they do. They do a few things they throw up a lot. They do a lot of pooping and fishing. Can I for some reason? I don't know how this happened. But all of that wind up on Ne- never got thrown. Yeah no no because it is the the life lesson that you know that you're saying that God would never give you a child. You cannot handle right so they knew that you can handle pugh and all that stuff and demanded you you flat right through it. I think it's more Karma that fact that she had to give birth and I did sadly always have that over absolutely now. I am curious to know. Yeah there is a book. Most couples recall what to expect. When you're expecting now. Did you read that? Why did not you not know that your wife read it. She read a lot more than idea a couple and kind of know that we'll kind of start out that way and they threw the book out the window. Because it's you know what I watched big. Daddy you watch big daddy family. You Know I. It's interesting a lot of the books that people gave me more joke books And there was a great book I did get about like you know what to expect while your wife is pregnant. Like hey do this for her. Do this for her. I didn't follow it. I just did whatever Brooke have any kind of eating cravings things like that ice I plan. Is They just Lebron? I like ice POPs. Lake loved the ice POPs. So you're like but shoprite Vergara basis buying ice POPs. Yeah but but I gotTa Tell You. I know this is pregnant. Sound like the Brook podcast today. But she's an amazing woman she show. She handled everything. She was very independent throughout her whole pregnancy. Now I'll say this. Her pregnancy relatives others was probably considered easy. She she handled everything she worked at going into office until I think it was two days before she gave birth. She's she handled everything. She would go shopping. But someone like. I love my wife but I think that You've got to keep their absolute saint. GotTa keep their. Yeah easy you and you have the next one. But can I tell you something? She's GonNa listen to this podcast. I'm going to lose any leverage I possibly have played leverage. You're giving a lot calmer out there. You get a lot of praise positive vibes. Maybe she has the podcast ready during the doghouse. Yeah you just press play queued up to the point where you say Brooke is an amazing woman and I think all of your problems will be solved. Sure that well you know she. She's got an instinct for being a mother. How about you for being a father? Well I definitely have the instinct for dad jokes. Yeah Oh yeah Dajo. Because I'm always looking to collect he can't you can't just give dad joke. Dad Jokes are in the moment. Dad Jokes example of of a dad moment. You've had that I've had Bush's not yet so it's really more puns. Okay everything she does. I'm waiting for the day where she says dad. I'm hungry because I want to say hi hungry. I'm Dan yes. That's a good one of us that point. I'm just going to walk out of the room because I think you dropped Mike Walkway. Just put my finger Well the better. I feel that the best Dan jokes are are dead. Puns yes yes like you know. My Dad knew a lot about astronomy so I went up to my said Dad. Dad told me everything you know about a solar eclipse and he said no son Randy still figuring out Jordan. Very proud of the joke joke. Sometimes it's all about the deliver. That's how bad joke lands has land with the dad being so proud of the joke. Everyone waiting at least the second before they get the joke. That's it he's been well trained and the force is strong and him. I tell I think this guy's got a bright future advice He loves being a DAD. Clearly he's got he's getting much sleep. I mean I. I don't think I don't think let me just keeping up enough. And she's a wonderful sleeper but I happen to just not get sleep because between being a lawyer and being dad. There's always something to worry. No once your dad. There's always just it never stops. Just you wait but this is very cool. I mean I think I've learned a lot more about you coach. I'm so route. So proud of you toward alley is these blasts in the past combat. Your Dad and you've accomplished so much and your proof. You know that People we we connect with our lives what we do. Can you really touched my heart and it was really hard listening at the very beginning but I trust me I. I'm wrapped up with the ball. Keep inside my heart because met a lot We've had go a long way back. A thanks for coming in and it was a special treat You are a bet that I think you've earned our key chain well. I'm very much looking forward to get to. I'm very much looking forward to come back and giving it up when I'm dealing with toddlers. Please do you know it's funny usually when we interview guests. They're promoting something or they have. They have some other business And I could say you know. Hey what are you looking to promote or if we want to learn more about acts where do we go? I I if our listeners out there who have commercial litigation you or other areas of law business issues Fox Rothschild Dot Com Fox Rothschild Dot com. You can also find it if you go to Fox Rothschild and search for Jordan Kaplan but don't search for Jordan Kaplan lawyer because there's about fifty of them in the country and apparently a judge in Chicago named Jordan capital imagine. That's a very popular thing for for people in the legal industry. Jordan Kaplan was our guest today. And I'll throw the have you a thrill to learn a little bit more about coach Randy. We are bad to the DAD. Download US wherever you find podcasts. We're a bad to the dad with coach Randy and Adam de again instagram. At bad to the DAD. That's where you can find pictures and all kinds of memes about our beloved podcast. Facebook forward slash bed to the DAD and of course our website bad to the dad dot com where you can see information about the podcast that celebrate suburban dad life and also pictures coach. Randy Adam de and our guest this week Jordan Kaplan and coach. I wasn't sure what to expect because I know this is one of these folks that you had mentor was at a special part of your life and you know it's too bad. We did not do this. Podcast in front of a live studio audience because I was really watching you and seeing how much joy you got out of reminiscing with Jordan and seeing what kind of young man he has become an great dead to. Yeah no in. We've we've kept in touch off and on for I mean. We realized we each other in like when he was like fifteen sixteen years old and it was really hard really was honestly hard listening to what he. I appreciate it I it does. It was very very touching Because I remember how fond of him and the kids and speeds back in a few others as well. We're really it's amazing. How kids can impact your life and you hope you hope. Somehow you leave some kind of thumbprint on their life in such a way that somebody go back into You know they can appreciate people came relationships and so it's always was weird. I was a little bit too. Surreal because he's still looks like the Jordan. Kaplan they'll push from the picture we have now. He's adults but now he's and he's the part. I don't think he's got a ring on his finger. He's got his face. He's got a suit but he still has little showers look on his face. Yeah I remember as a fifteen year old kid we did. He allocated well. Of course the teen boys and I guess that came up and topic bizarre Disagree with you talking about to see him of who he has become his. His Dad makes you feel old. Yeah there's no doubt but A special treat. Because we've we've wanted to have a new data on here and I'm glad that You know we had a young data on here and he was the first to kind of talk about like to have a seventeen month old. I think he's still has too much energy. He's getting too much bill but to sleep and sounds like you've got this incredible relationship with Brooke and quit has incredible memory All the stories but I remember. I did want to talk about those topics. I want a time. It was on a teams mind and what I'm talking about video games and sleep. Well there are kids in there are kids. Yes I love the fact that he has such an appreciation for the the the great grandparents and he realizes wow this is. This is something that not a lot of people get to enjoy having the grandparents great grandparents around and having the next generation be around so they can be a part of this lie though in here you hear that he does have a strong connection with family and he always has and I think as we discovered that the true markers a child's life in terms of is having a solid foundation of family and it's not about the things you buy the experiences you have and the places you'd go And for him to have both Brooks family this family there. You know at Lincoln Center on the knee or having asking her hand to get married. I would imagine that would be one of the highlight of your life watching your child. So yes yes I would love to watch your child fall in love. I would have to be very very Need affiliate so it's neat now I I would. I would hire him as attorney if I ever needed a commercial. Release you just. You just might go London Gay Sauna show. We're going to get sued at some point. Speaking funny some speaking funny. But you know we we. Actually we have a shared connection so I was in marching band in high school marching ban. And it's good to hear that some of the same band directors some of the things that are still around doing their things so it was great to hear. Next week we go the art route. Yes Brian Kandari yes. Who is an artist goes by gnome to art of Buoy mic? Boursin does some very provocative some really avangard art will show you pictures on our social media pages but really interesting guy does have a corporate job by day but his passion is art. I don't think we've had a dad who was an artist on the show. Definitely not an artist like this Two dads a unique artists in different ways. I was I'm looking forward to it. We love artists. We love the creative types My brother was arguing raise ago. Yeah it'll be another nice week because It's just bad to the dead right. This is what we do. Please let us know what you think of the show. What you'd like to hear more contact us at bad to the DAD DOT com again. That's contact us at the dead Dot Com. We are bed to the DAD. Dads have a great week.

DAD Randy Randy Randy Jordan Jordan Kaplan Adam de Facebook Brooke Fox Rothschild attorney coach Mentor and Advisor Lafayette Michelle instagram US Randy reg Fox Rothschild Dot Com Fox Rot Jessica
Being a Tired Dad with Jerrad Lopes of Dad Tired

Christian Podcast Community

39:52 min | 3 months ago

Being a Tired Dad with Jerrad Lopes of Dad Tired

"Episode number one hundred seventeen head on over to dead hackers dot us. Slash one one seven to get all the show notes in resources. What's up dead hackers. This is a rebroadcast of one of the first interviews. I did way back when I started the podcast. This is my interview with Jared Lopes from dad tired, so check it out. It's actually Independence Day when I'm working on this so happy. BELATED INDEPENDENT STAY! I hope you enjoy this. A lot of you haven't heard this one. You become listeners since I launched the podcast over two years ago. So hope this is helpful to you. We talk about a lot of good stuff so. Here you. What's Up Dad Hackers? My Name is Patrick Antonucci I'm the host and founder of this podcast and Community of Dad Akers whether you're new here. I've been here for a long time. I WanNa personally welcomed you that hackers is a community of Christian fathers work devoted to encouraging equipping and enabling one another to become the man that God has created designed us to be so that we can raise up the next generation of fully devoted followers of Christ and leave a legacy of multi generational faithfulness. On this show. We primarily interview Christian Med to dive into their experiences and. And insights into what it means to be a Christian. Man Christian has been a Christian father and a leader. We asked questions that dig deep into the thinking and rationale these men so that we can all learn and grow into the men that God is calling us beat. I'm grateful you joined us today. Make sure you subscribe to the gym. Never Miss. Any of our episodes are also be sure to leave an honest review. Reviews helped boost the show's ratings, which means that or dads are going to come across our show and benefit the onset. We put out. On a delight you know that we also have a free private facebook group just for Christian men so head over to facebook dot com slash group slash that Aker in applied to join by answering the questions when trump that's facebook dot com slash groups slash dad actor. My guest today is jared, Lopes? Jared is a Christian Pastor and founder of DAD tired. A nonprofit ministry focused on equipping men to lead their family. Well, he hosts the weekly dead tired podcast listened to by hundreds of thousands of men from around the world he also authored stop behaving a Gospel centered devotional for met he and his wife. Layla live in Portland. Oregon with their two children where they are also certified foster parents. Here's my interview with Jared Lopes Hard Jarrod. How're you doing today, brother? I'm doing well man. Thanks so much for having me sure. Thank you so much for joining us today. So why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself a little bit about your background and a little bit about what you have going on now? Yeah, have my. Hands in a lot of things, but primarily been saved by Jesus and being saved by Jesus and looking forward to one day being saved. You might Jesus without. My primary identity right try to find identity, but also husband It's my wife Leyla and dad to eat in and Elijah, who are four and seven, and then we've got one on the way, and we're also foster parents. Sometimes, we have some foster children with us. and I run a ministry called Dad's hired, which is a online ministry for men and we help equipment to lead their family well. and so we've got a podcast and an online community and so that takes a bunch of time there and then I also write some books I wrote a devotional last year called. Stop behaving. which is basically you know to help? Guys get to the heart of instead of. Chasing after behavior modification really having our hearts changed by Jesus in the Gospel, and if she's as changes, our hearts, and the Gospel then motivate us. Live out the good news then than really were. We don't have to worry about like just changing our behavior. That will be a natural byproduct. Of our hearts, being changed so do that and I'm currently in the process of a two contract. Robbie riding a little bit more over the next. Couple of years for deaths. Coleman sounds like you have a pretty full plate. There with those different projects you have going on. A lot of fun stuff. So tell us a little bit about what what prompted you to start dead, tired or how? How did that end up coming about? Yeah I kind of stumbled into it I! I've been a pastor for the last. Thirteen years and had hit a season in our life where I. Just we hit a rough patch in our marriage, and in my personal life, and really kind of found myself in the season of depression and identity crisis, and as a result of that I. Pulled away from my wife in many ways and I. Just did I wasn't a very good husband. I wasn't a very good DAB I wasn't engaged and not leading them well at all. And In the middle of there's kind of a series of events that happened, but in the middle of that I wrote this blog. I didn't even have a blog. There's no audience, but I just like classic millennial process my coffee social media. Embarrassing but so I just brought with my on social media and And just blog that I wrote it went viral. There's over a million people that ended up reading this blog and essentially what I was saying in. There was I feel like I'm a crappy husband and dad, but I don't want to be. And there was just a ton of guys who reached out to me and said man I resonate with that like I also feel like I'm not doing this thing very well, but I want to I want to be good husband I. WanNa be a good that. and so out of nowhere dislike ministry started and and God took a really like crappy season in my life, and really used it in order to help me find. What I'm passionate about and was now I get to spend. Every day hanging out with guys virtually online talking about what it means. The phone over Jesus and help our families do. Wow I think it. Isn't that amazing how? God can take a low point in our lives. In really use it to to shape and mold. Inform us into the people he wants us to be. Yeah, it shouldn't be surprising to us because we see that all throughout scripture on, but but it always. In the middle of it doesn't feel like there's going to be any kind of redemption. It's hard to see past your current circumstances and I always tell people like even stats hired it. Start like God still good you know as he captured my heart again and so that's not to say that God makes our. Our necessarily are circumstances better because we don't always see scripture, sometimes people circumstances continue to be hard at the point where they guy. But he's still good, you know, and any still capturing hearts, and that's the good news whether regardless of what happens in our circumstance, but in this particular case he changed my circumstance, and I am grateful for that. Yeah What what do you think contributed to you going down that path where you felt like you were? A terrible husband and father me. Can you walk us through that a little bit? Yeah, think I think all of us This I don't think it's necessarily true for just one. I think it's true for everyone all of humanity that we. All of us men are looking for identity somewhere. whether that be in us as dad's or husbands are workers, or what our job title, as maybe we're like known to be the smartest or the most knowledgeable about sports or whatever do like, would they? All of us kind of find our identity and something. and for me. I was really finding my identity in the church world I was like planting churches and peaching a lot, and I that was my dinner was deeply rooted in that and God really swiped out from under me pretty abruptly I just had an identity crisis, because my identity was more, and like what I was doing rather than who I was And that's why I actually started the the pocket when you just said. Who are you and I said I'm I'm a child of God I'm a disciple Jesus trying to fall more in love with him and being saved by the reason I do that is because I'm just trying to teach myself. There's nothing more important in my identity then just being loved by God, regardless of what I do. and so anyway that's a long answer, but I I was just in a season where I I was having a deep identity crisis. I wasn't pastoring the church reprinting churches. I was just like stumbling through trying to figure out. What am I supposed to do with my life? And my identity was so deeply tied to what I was doing that when I wasn't doing it. Shook me really really deeply. to the point was kind of in crisis mode so. yeah, that was kind of a long answer to that, but. That's a good one, because I think a lot of guys struggle with where their identity is in. It's good to hear people admit that. In in talk, talk through that process. What, what do you think was the turning point? Where where did you go from? You know your low point to seeing I know about the blog and everything, but but what really made made you kind of turn the corner? Is there a specific time. Bunch of Yeah we my my wife were. Shown our in the middle of an argument, which that season where life felt like a common occurrence and We were in our room and we were in kind of a heated debate and my wife. Just pause. And she had tears in her eyes, and she said. Jared I just want you to know that I've been waking. Up I've been setting my alarm and waking up at two am every morning, and I go into the living room and I. Pray for you and I pray that God would capture your heart again. and dude, honestly, if I'm honest, I would rather. She just cussed me out. Like? I feel like feel like I could have handled that easier. My wife is never wants custody out, but now moment I feel like. That would have been I could've like fought. Could've you know gone toe to toe, or whatever flexed a little bit, but? She likes just humbled herself, and said I'm just praying for you. I'm praying. That captures your heart again. And that was the like this regard used that moment. On the Holy Spirit really use that moment to me, man i. I don't just need like behavior. Change right now like I don't need to just like. Listen to more Kayla of or be more disciplined. I really I really need Jesus to change my heart. and. I just started to pray that kind of quietly in my head like this sucks man like you. Were you just help me fall more in love with you again. And by His grace a- cancer, her prayer, and my prayer, and he just started to capture my heart slowly. Wow. So rate in that moment when she was humbled herself in told you, she was praying. What what was going through your head? Do you remember? What what went through your head that moment? yeah I mean my adrenaline was because we were in the middle of the argument. And it was a quick It was A. It was A. Splash of cold water felt like my face just got quickly taken rental. And now it was just a you know as humbling and. It was like. Like, I said I really believe in the Holy Spirit like Ordain. That moment for him, so I kind of jolt me out of my pride. And and I just remember thinking about that moment. Like what the heck am I doing with my life I've been so selfish and I'm just I, was just really in a in a season of pride. And in that moment I felt humbled like God was humbling like the soft, my heart, enough that I could hear what she was saying. You know and when I realized I I I don't want it. I don't WANNA, be! Try to be some tough proud dude I need a humble myself. Really what I was doing as I was I was I was actually scared. Man and I always tell people. Anger is never the first emotion. You know like. We especially for us. Guys, there's a lot of guys that deal with anger. You know we try to a lot of times. We come across really angry or mad or tough, but usually what the under that is just like. We're scared. We're like really scared. Little Boys and just try to mask it with a lot of anger to feel stronger than we actually feel inside. That's been my experience in your. So. now that's kind of what I felt like is my tough guy are my pride was just really quickly shattered, and I was like man. I'm just scared. I'm scared of feeling out of control and. I need to come back to the God. He's actually in control. Wow. Really good stuff man so! What. What what did you do? After that I. mean kind of walk us through that process because it sounds like you're. You're kind of on the other side of that valley now walking up the hill, so to speak I know ever achieved perfection, and we can always become better. DADS better men better husbands. But, but it sounds like you're. You're on the uphill journey now instead of the downhill or line on your back at the bottom. What did you do so to speak to to start climbing back up? well. You know the Paul says in the. New Testament that even our faith is a gift from God and so I really do believe that It was a gift that God in His grace I I. You know we're saved by grace. Right like we can't earn our way to salvation, but we're also sustained by grace and so. We didn't work our way into salvation and I don't think we work our way to maintain salvation, and so I. think that God in His grace started to draw me near to himself. Now that's a really big theological bought. It sounds simple, but theologically I. Don't know how that all works I don't know like. If if if God was waiting for me to say that simple prayer like, will you help me fall in love with you I? Don't know how much dependent on me and how much of it depend on him but I'm convinced that it had a lot more to him than it had to me. You know so I i. just don't know if I really did anything other than just kind of start to let God capture my heart again. It seemed like he was just capturing my heart and I was softened towards the holy. Spirit and what he wanted to do. I'm practically. Started to get around other guys like I was really isolating myself from community. I. We were very rarely having around other Christians. In that that particular season and I actually told my wife. I WANNA have a hundred people in our house for dinner over the next year. and part of that was because I just wanted to be around people again and I knew I was like wait to isolated and I needed to be around. People get because. Part of being on fire like you know the classics seminar, are you on fire for Jesus ever like part of being on fire's being in the fire, which means you got to like? be around other logs. Who are on fire? You know you throw you. Throw one log out to the side of the fire, and all of a sudden goes out but all it takes to go back on fire again. Just throw it back in the fire, so I just needed to be around. Other people man who like really love Jesus and loved me and so I think hope gadgets used his church to helped me for for more in love with him. Is Not an amazing. How God already has that plan in the church shelf. A accountability in? In community and. It's like it's all right there. Right in right in front of US ready for instance they use it in, and like you, said we, we get wrapped up in ourselves and in our tasks, and in our pride and. We just miss it. Yeah, YEP totally. Someone, a shift gears here a little bit. You mentioned your book stop behaving your devotional for men. Can. Can you tell us a little bit more about that about your book? Yeah, it's just a I know that a lot of guys are busy. You know the ministry I run is called Dad tired and so I. Know Guys are tired. I'm tired down and we're all like working hard. So I didn't want to like. Create this really long thing. I'm also been part of accountability groups where. it seems unending like you, just you know. Some Guy Said Hey, you want to. Meet with me every week and you do, but you go on for like six months and then you don't really know what to talk about anymore, and it feels awkward. you don't really not end it, so I was always like man I I just want to write a devotional. That's four weeks and you would just commit to meeting with the guy for four weeks. Or a couple of guys for four weeks, and you just talk about how the Gospel changes your heart. It changes your marriage. It changes your parenting and the changes your work. And so those are the four weeks that it's broken into. and it's really just trying to remind I'm I'm just convinced man that if we really believe the gospel that that alone is motivation to to live out righteous living, so that's the that's the whole point title like stop behaving. I just want to remind guys at the Gospel the good news. and. If we can remind each other of that constantly it'll, it'll be the motivation that we need to live righteously. Yeah you know one one of the things that strikes me is lots of times. We think of the Gospel and talk. In terms of witnessing to somebody you, you preach the Gospel to them. You share the Gospel. With nonbelievers so to speak, but there there's this whole other side of it where. I think it's I think Paul in the book of Romans. How he earnestly desires to share the Gospel to preach the Gospel to them, but he's talking to the church. You know and I think that's one thing that. We Miss Is. Is The Gospel Message. Now How, How would you say the Gospel? Is Preached. To to someone who's already Christian, like how how how do we? Hear the, Gospel. In everyday life. Does that make sense. It makes sense I mean. The Gospel is not just good. News wants to save us, but the gospels the good news that it that it keeps saving us It's the good news that continues to transform us. and so I think Chris. I think you're right and that we think of it as kind of this one time thing where we were saved, and then the thing that now we need to other people so that they can get saved, and that's true, but it's. It's way deeper than that I'm preaching the Gospel to myself every day multiple times a day. and the. So you know for one example, I tell my kids all the time, just the other day, My son was listening. He heard us on the radio by Bruno Mars, and he said Dad Bruno Mars. Always talk about girls. And, so I said I said because he's convinced. That girls will make him happy, but son. We know that the thing that ultimately makes us happy as Jesus now. I told them I said you know sometime sometimes. You think that if you had this toy, if you you really really want to join, you think if you get that toy, it would make you happy, but you know that even if you got the toy, you would only be happy for a little bit, but ultimately you need Jesus. and that's the only thing that's going to satisfy you long-term now. That's true for my son as a seven year old, but that's also true for us as men right like. We always still search for things that will make us happier that we think will make us happy. It's the very same thing that out of uneven dealt with like, when Satan presented a piece of fruit Hey, this will bring you joy, and you're not currently experiencing joy, and the good news is the Gospel is instead of God giving up on us being mad at us. He continues to pursue US and continues to. Be Our source of satisfaction and so all day every day. I'm constantly reminding myself like Asia Are you searching for identity in this. When actually you know, it won't satisfy you, are you looking for joy and stuff or and certain things or money or lust, or whatever it is thinking about going to satisfy your soul? Who's do remember the Gospel? The good news is that there's a king who loves you and who want adopted you in, and who will satisfy your soul more than all those other things can, and so the gospels and just something that's save neat wanted within that saving me every day. No. Well. That's really good. I'm glad you brought up that example with your son. Because you know, it's one thing to say, we need to constantly hear. The Gospel preached and we need to preach the Gospel to ourselves. But as a guy, you know you you sometimes, you need a concrete example. Of How that. Plays out something to go by. which which kind of leads me to another question? kind of on a tangent there. But. You know for me I. I didn't really grow up in a Christian home and. So. I. Don't have that example of what a Christian home is. Yet I'm trying to create one. In my own home. Can you tell us a bit about your background? Did you grow up in a Christian home? Did you not? House at. Are you guys wanted to take a quick second to tell you about the Ironman? Bastard mind if you're looking for a band of brothers that you can lock shields with that can go to battle with you in the day to day life also in the trenches, going through the same struggles in the same challenges that you are going through. I suggest you check out the ironman mastermind. This mastermind was developed in design for Christian men to help. Help US become the men that God has created and called us to be in. It's designed to help us increase our relationship with God increase our relationship with our wives increase our relationship with our children and begin to provide better for them financially spiritually emotionally psychologically relation LII in all of those areas, those areas that those things that wake you up in the middle of the night. These are the kinds of things that we work on. These are the kinds of ways that we can help you out in the ironman mastermind. If this is something that is of interest to you, you may want to join the men community, and you can check out more information at Dad. Hackers dot US slash iron men, one word ironman there all right now back to our show. Yeah Yeah my my dad. Was a professional musician. He ended up leaving our family when I was three so I grew up my mom. My Dad wasn't a Christian. My mom took us to church. and really I learnt when I was like seven. She started taking us to church I think that was more out of just trying to get some help as single mom. And I think that. I was raised I would say more morally like hey, this is right, and this is wrong, but. bless of like why it's right or wrong, so like an example of that would have been yesterday. I could've told my son. This is just it's just bad like. Don't listen to that music. It's bad. He's not a Christian right, but I tried to be deeper I try to give him a deeper understanding like. What the design, how God designed things, and so just trying to instead of teaching my son like right wrong I want to teach him what his soul is actually longing for and I didn't have that nobody was teaching that as a kid. Come with you, I'm the same way like. I'm trying to teach my kids who stuff, but I had no model. Of what that actually looks like right and I feel like a lot of guys are in that same situation they they are the forerunner in their legacy of trying to raise a family in Christ, but also one that leaves a multi generational. Legacy, faithfulness, and yeah, what what kind of things are you doing? To. So, let me let me say this way. One of the things I struggle with is I. Don't have an example of. An earthly father, bringing up his children. Are there things that you're doing people that are influencing you men that you're meeting with examples that you you go by to help you flesh that out in the every day in your everyday walk of life of raising your kids in Christ. Yeah I I. Mean I I'm I'm right there with you in struggling through this every day I'm trying to figure this stuff out on no. I'm with I'm with you man. Yeah so one of the things that we wanted to do. Intentionally as we rejoined, joined a house church, so I've been on staff at small churches have been on staff at megachurches that we now currently attend. House church which is. Essentially a community of people who meet in homes and do life together and share meals and go on camping trips, and just try to share as much life as possible together and one of the things that was important to me in. That was that there were older DADS grandparents in there. And I just wanted to be around. Other guys not just like on a Sunday morning. You know, but I wanted to like I wanted them to see me. Raise my kids as motorable it is, and there have been many times where I think of a couple of guys in particular who are ahead of me. That are in this church community, and they're like those like they have the freedom to say. Hey. Man I saw that you were parents like this like. Have you tried this I? Saw Your kids. We're doing this and seemed like he didn't really not handle it like here's one thing I've learned and do. It's been huge for me until I have real time Feedback from guys who I really respected DADS to speaking into my life dad. and. That's hard to find on just like when you're showing up to church on a Sunday and just like taking your kids Sunday school, not that it can't happen, but right founded because he's been way more helpful. Yeah, the fellowship doesn't happen so much. When you're staring at the back of people's heads, watching the guy on stage, you know. Everyday Life Yeah I got to say. I'm a little jealous of you man that that's. Awesome thing you have. having those older men. and. Not as God Go ahead. Oh! It's just not as it's not as complicated as like. It doesn't need to be some fancy church formula to make this work. Dude like you really can't say if the if there's an older dad around you. WHO's gone ahead of you that you respect? Like just say hey, can you? Would you come over to my house I'll make you dinner like rule host you every week, but just can you just be around to help me figure this dad stuff out and lot of dad's like older guys. They want to help it. Don't even know how to like they. They don't know if they're intruding on our lives so that they feel like the generation gaps too big. They wouldn't know how to speak into it, but we give them permission to speak into our lives. A lot of wise men in the family of God that would love to like poured into. Yeah. That's true now now that I'm thinking of it, there's there's a couple older men elders in our church. Who are who are faithful men who've raised? Faithful? Children who are raising faithful grandchildren. And so. Anita tap that resource there. Of them lunch, dude by launches much as you can. A good, that's an. Eternal investment right there. It's you're talking about. Yeah. You mentioned two other books, can you? Can you kind of shifting gears big time now but? Can you tell us anything about which which you have coming up or is that top secret information? Not Super Top secret, but yeah Some of it's still being worked out so this Rabia book re released in Chosen Nineteen that small. And that will be called dad tired, and it will be In the premises basically permission to stumble our way through spiritual leadership. And so That really helping guys moved from like. How do you go from not being engaged at all because we don't know what to do, just learning to start stumbling through it and like. Even, just practicing and having the freedom, and because of God's grace to practice and stumble your way through it, so that'll be. Next year book, and then the the following year I'll release another book, but We're still trying to figure out exactly what that will look like I I think that it will have to do with what it looks like the actually preach the Gospel to yourself and your kids on a daily basis in two minute increments. so like when you're driving when you're at the grocery store when you're eating dinner. Like what does it look like these every situation to point your kids back to the good news, and Jesus and not through a lengthy sermons or Bible studies or family devotional, just everyday life. Yeah, like that Deuteronomy Chapter six. You know when you when you walk by the way when you're when you wake up when you go down. Just just saturated with the word of God and Saturated with with the Gospel. Mess Gospel Message. I? That will that. That's the premise that I the premise. Coop Yeah. Both of those sound like really good things one thing you mentioned about. Your your next upcoming book. What was kind of the tagline or the the the subtitle? Commingling your way through spiritual. Through strange leadership. Yeah I think that's that's one area where where men really struggle is. We want to do it right the first time. In. I know personally that I get stuck in paralysis by analysis I've got to watch. forty-seven Youtube videos listen to thirty six PODCASTS. Get Nine books about it and then I might think about. Implementing? You find yourself in that boat. Sometimes when it comes to spiritual leadership. Yes, another things. No, I I, usually am ready fire aim kinda guy. Go out there and just make mistakes then like realize I should talk about that more before action. so that's not necessarily my personality, but but I think there are a lot of guys like that. You know, and I am like in many ways when it comes to leadership because I. Don't know what I'm doing and none of us. Guys like doing things that we don't know what we're doing. we, we liked that least Kinda look competent why we don't ask for directions exactly. The reason I asked, that is like what what what do you do to overcome that procrastination or that? Fear of failure or that parral analysis by paralysis, particularly in in your spiritual leadership? What are some things you've done there? Yeah so I always tell guys man that the best thing to do is just engaged. Be the lead learner so you don't have to have the Bible memorized. You don't have to have it translated in Greek and Hebrew need to be this deep theologian, just be the first learner be the first one engaged. Kids ask you a question. You don't know the answer. I don't know like. Let's go to the Bible together or hey. I'M GONNA. Sit Down with my kids and I'm GONNA. Read a Jesus storybook Bible every night. You're not even teaching anything you're just engaging. Engaging them in Jesus spiritual things you know being the first one at the dinner table say let's thank God for this food analyst. Thank God for being a provider, even though it looks like daddy provides since I work hard ultimately Jesus. Provide on, so let's think provider for giving us some food today or being the first one up on a Sunday and saying with a good attitude. I'M GONNA. Take our family to church and I'm GonNa have a good attitude about it and I'm going to be excited for my kids to be around other followers of Jesus None of those things require you to be extra smart or biblically astute were requires engagement and initiation and so the M-. The the best of spiritual leaders are the ones who just initiate things I'm not the ones who have all the answers all the time you know. Yeah. Yeah, that's really good. It's good to hear hear you say those things because I think lots of times, men dad's feel like they have to know it all before they do anything, or they have to be super smarter or to to lead their family biblically. They have to be a deep theologian, but. You know the the things you're saying. No, just just do do something. Take a little step. Out a little bit yeah. which which kind of leads me to? Another question. And I just want to get your thoughts on this about the the state of manhood today particularly. In our society and culture, but within the context. Of the church. What is your impression? Of of manhood in general. confused. Maybe when I don't know it'd probably be the best word to describe. It is like I think. We're confused at what it looks like to be. Unbelievable Command especially with our culture right now, even even me writing a book on spiritual leadership right now, There's already argument in the secular world. Like why did many how come women don't leave right? Right, though there's there's there's those kinds of questions being asked and I think we're just like confused like any other part of it is. We didn't have dads to show US tomato for us I mean just trying to answer the question for yourself. I do this whole time and and it's hard to ask yourself like. What does it mean to be a man? And then, what does it mean to be a godly man like those are hard questions day answer for ourselves and now we're trying to teach kids how to do it. You know we're trying to my son to be a godly man and I'm still trying to figure out like what is the main cause? It was modeled to us, you know. so I think the state of manhood is. Confused And I guess I would be bad news. The good news is that we're not left high and dry I think that we have the scriptures I think we see biblical manhood all throughout scripture, but. Mainly and primarily in the person of Jesus Can she teaches us how to be fully submitted to God and what? It looks like a human who is following An and sitting under the authority of God and so? we're not less. Totally clueless. got a good God, don't we? Yeah. He he gives us everything we need. Very good, jared I really really appreciate it. as we wrap up here. If people want to get in touch with you or or take advantage of some of the resources that you have A. How would they go about doing that? yeah, there are probably the easiest ways just dad, tire, dot com, and that that has all of our social media links all the books that were doing all of our community and events. travel the country. Get into, hang out with other guys who are part of our ministry and. so that's really the best way to get connected. IS JUST DAD TIRED DOT COM? Cool well one final question before we. Finally end this According to you, what do you think makes a great dad? Think Gray! DADS are DADS who are humble. And who? Often. guys who say. I'm not a good guy, but I wanNA. Point my family to good God. And that just takes a lot of humility, and it takes a lot of repentance like daily repentance. So often would be daily. Yeah Yeah I. Hear you on that man. Poll Jared thank you. Thank you so much I appreciate all your your time. Your your wisdom, your insight and I think you have a lot of good things going a lot of good things coming up and appreciate you coming on and being a guest today. Cam Am super excited about it. We need more men who are willing to open up these conversations for guys so I think integrate thing I'm grateful to have play a little small rolling and thank you for having me. Thank you for coming on man. Do you take yeah? You. All Right Gentlemen. That's all we have for today. Thank you so much for tuning in I. Hope our conversation was a blessing to you in that you leave this episode. Better equipped to be the man and the father. God has called in created you to be if so then I ask that you please leave us a five star rating and a quick written review in items and make sure you head on over to the show notes to get all of the resources for this episode. While you're there, you can take part in our five days to be a better guide challenge as well as get involved with our free facebook community. Are Gentlemen until next week. Remember proverbs, twenty, seven, seventeen, as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Station. Law. Ahead.

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Political Tactics: Taxation, Stagflation, Devaluation

Rich Dad Radio Show

46:12 min | 2 months ago

Political Tactics: Taxation, Stagflation, Devaluation

"This episode is brought to you by bank blaze, have all of your data safely and securely backed up in the cloud with back blades and have it available whenever you want it, go to back blaze, dot com, slash Richdad, and start your free. No risk trial. That's back blaze DOT com slash Richdad. Our sponsor. This week is roof. Stop do I think a lot of you will find interesting Bruce Stocks is the number one marketplace for buying and selling single family rental homes. Their marketplace of cash flowing rental properties makes it easy to invest in over seventy attractive in affordable markets across the US, the team at roof stock is there to help you with the entire process of buying a rental property. So you don't have to do everything on your own. They connect you with vetted local property managers and all parties are backed by their industry leading roof stock guarantee. So you can invest remotely with confidence why wait any longer to begin building your? Your passive income stream rootstock stock makes it easy to become a rental property investor by providing you with all the research analytics. You need to evaluate your purchase properties, completely online plus most of the homes listed for sale on the marketplace already habitat in place. So your cash flowing day one roof stock is offering rich dad radio listeners a five hundred dollar credit towards their first investment property. To claim this offer start browsing their marketplace exclusive listings, visit roof stock, dot, com slash debt. That's Rootstock R. O. F. S. T. O., C. K. dot com forward slash Richdad create your free account. It started at roof stock, dot, com slash Richdad today. This is the rich dad radio, show the good news and bad news about money. Here's Robert Kiyosaki. Hello, hello. Hello. Robert Kills the Rich Dad radio, show the good news and bad news about money and boy. Do we have some bad news for you? So you better pay attention. You'd better pay attention because life is like be C. before corona. And then AC after corona. But end metal of all this, we have an election coming up. and. It's GONNA be a battle. SNS's most crazy. I've never seen anything. So hateful, spiteful lying and all all this, but it comes down to what's in it for you and me. And saw my little crystal ball says AC after Corona. And we're GONNA have stagflation. Which means does growth in the air. The magic word is always growth. And then there's GonNa be taxation. Higher taxes. No matter what. And then see. Devaluation whereas your money will buy you less because they're gonNA print more. So the question to all of you today is, what are you gonNA, do in AC after. Corona. stagflation taxation devaluation world, and our guests is always a special friend person who has made come on I.. Millions by illegal not paying taxes and he's going to give us his crystal ball readings on taxation because it affects stagflation and it affects devaluation. But more. Importantly, it's kind of affect what life is going to be like you for AC. After Krona and it comments Kim. Well, it's just a, it's a roller coaster. I'm and I have no crystal ball. But I do know that one side definitely. Democrats definitely want tax the heck out of everybody. In, not help the small business person at all. So I'm anxious to hear what Tom has to say because I know Tom Reeves textile. Things. To empty agrees though we're going to get the. Scoop on what is being proposed out there, and I'm looking forward to it when I was reading playboy. Thomas. Reading the Tax Code. That's the difference here. Right, Tom. Tom stagflation taxation devaluation. How does taxation affect all of that? What's going to happen and AC AFTER CORONA? Taxation is how you pay for it. Right. So you have a couple of things going on here when you got to pay for the coronavirus and all those. All. The money that's being spent and a drop in the economy. But at the same time, you have this whole push towards reallocating income. So what you're GonNa do is you're going to really go after anybody with money. The Biden campaign truly wants to tax as much as eighty percent. It would be the death of small business frankly. If Biden word to succeeded in what he wants to do I think it would be the small business. She's certainly never see a small business carry on from generation to generation. So what's Terracina Biden and to be fair and balanced her? What do you think trump would do if he was still remains reelected, I think I think he'd keep it. The way it is, I. Think he likes the corporate income tax rate law. It certainly has invited investments I happen to agree with that one. It's very much unbinding investments on. He'll keep the bonus depreciation, which has certainly increased price of real estate and kept real estate going up He would keep the oil and gas tax benefits, which is basically the only thing that's kept anybody drilling has been the tax benefits for oil and gas because nobody would drill in such A. Tumultuous World were who knows what the price of oil is going to be tomorrow, it could drop by fifty percent or could raise by ten percent. So all of those tax incentives would certainly stay under trump. That's certainly he's been very consistent with that and Biden hit by nationally his stated objective is to eliminate. Tax Incentives which would put us into really a giant roller coaster really have such a big impact on the economy that I think you'd see a major economic crash as a result of the tax law changes. So some add something real quickly right here the reason as Biden versus trump. And the reason it, you know, why would Biden Seminar? INCREASE TAXES? s because majer part of their constituency, our employees, and it doesn't affect them. All they see are the entrepreneurs and the real estate investors and all this while they said, well. They're getting tax breaks and we don't. and. That's why we re route and Rich Dad. Poor Dad, the cashflow quadrant you have E., S. B. is is. The season is the tax break, the big business and investor. While they employees and the self-employed gets hammered. So it's actually a in my opinion Tom, which with this, it's a political tactic. To kind of PISS. Off. The millennials ease and as the disenfranchise, the people that they can't do anything about their taxes. I mean, there's nothing you said all the time. There's nothing you can do to help them. He's an essence. So by Biden, San going to tax all the be is the entrepreneurs and investors. He got vote which you says big part of it. I don't think there's any question I. Definitely gone a lot further left on his political career would say he would be and there's there's a lot of emphasis on. The Democrat side to. Reallocate income to to push income from the wealthy to the poor, and it's understandable and certain things will happen. I mean, we'll get higher. We would get higher tax rates I don't think we get all of the changes. The bite would want frankly Obama had. Saint James and his budget, every single year, and they never happened. So I don't think that. All of it's going to happen but some. Hierarchy. Okay. So so Tom I have a question about if Biden got his way and he got this eighty percent taxes. Than the whole thing about employer employees doesn't really matter because they're gonNA lose their jobs. Anyway. If the business of fan sustainable having already had that experience with obeyed in, they had a safe secure job, and now they're at work. So. Well, watched to the forefront. That's that's certainly part of it. Also that you know it's still a tax on net income, and this is tend to reinvest money in their business, and so they have they tend to lower their able to lower their. Where an employee cannot lower their net income. So the taxes actually get raised more on employs by definition than they ever are on. Yes. Thank you, and that's really the political at this point. So when Biden and we're not Republican Democrat willing to do. We'll elaine more towards Republican or more actually investor. When when they say we're going to raise taxes. It's the investor and the entrepreneur goes holy Mackerel. But the employee and the self employs all good good tax, the bastards and th-. Really that's we understand to be fair about this whole thing and the reason Tom, on board here said, well, we're coming into a tough environment financially economically stagflation taxation and devaluation because the economy is such a messed. So, Tom Take it from there. You know we're not Republican or Democrat. Would best possible. But when when. Biden says we're going to raise taxes it upsets certain people it gets. Other. People. excited. For sure. Sure. Because say Biden. Is Taking this bandwagon approach that anytime you have an incentive in the tax law. It's necessarily bad where in the reality is, is the incentives are there to do what the government wants. And so you know, can the government really do something better. Than the public than the private sector can do it, and that's really the issue and what what Biwott says. He wants, you know he's really trying to divide. He's trying to say look you know if if you want higher taxes on the rich, you should vote for me. If you want more money allocated to the poor and the middle class, you should vote for me. That's certainly his political ploy here. The. The question is whether he. Can. Actually get that done because you would upset the economy's so much by doing it. It's one thing to raise tax rates, but to eliminate incentives and here's what happens. Now, when you raise tax rates, you actually make incentives more valuable. So you actually give people more of an encouragement. To take advantage of the era when you're raised the rates. So it's really an interesting dynamic because you've got the economy, you've got inflation, which increases your natural tax brackets and and you've got this whole controversy between you know the one percent, the ninety, nine percent, I think it's fascinating. Back because Thomas Book has tax-free wealth. It's I opening book if you really want to understand the game of money or the rich. You gotta read tax-free. Well, what Thomas saying here about incentives is therese and Kevin I get huge breaks for real estate is if we as investors I-, quadrant did not invest the government would have to pay would pay for it. Right. Right time. Is that what you're saying? No, that's right. Build housing. If the private sector didn't build housing, we've all seen what government housing looks like is not nearly as Nice as the private sector housing. So that's typically the way the US has worked. I mean the US is very based very much based on private ownership of property, which is very different from a lot of countries and that private ownership has produced what we produced and you know what Boudoir. US More like other countries that don't have that private honor shaft mantra in their constitution and other thing you mentioned oil is that one of the reasons America had become energy independent was the tax break. It wasn't that oil was making sense. Right? We got huge tax breaks rejoined for oil, right. Well. That's for sure and again I mean, we're one of the few countries where. Individuals actually owned the natural resources and so there has to be incentives to develop those natural resources. Otherwise, individuals wouldn't take that kind of risk and the government's really just sharing the risk of the investor and the entrepreneur. They raise taxes and they eliminate the incentives. Let's say oil incentives. What the government now has to the business of what? That's the problem is that you really lose private investment into some of these risky benchers I think it will decrease. People always have incentive because they have a roth appellative, but if you raise tax rates along with reducing incentives, that's kind of a double hit to the investment in that area. So basically, of course, Biden doesn't like drilling oil anyway, just like Obama didn't like drilling drilling for oil. So if you don't like oil and a good thing to eliminate that incentive, and so it's consistent with their policy. That would put us dependent on other countries for oil. Well. For sure as long as oil is important, we're going to be, yeah. We're going to be dependent on other countries if we're not drilling ourselves. So what your crystal ball again. I said stagflation ahead. After Krona. Taxation and devalue evaluation the way I handle it. Is Very simply they're going to print more money. They have to pay for all this crap going on. So the way you handle devaluation is called sovereign bitcoin. So you WANNA, come off of the central bank system. So that's why look at gold and silver silver is up six percent this morning Holy Mackerel and still got another twenty percent to go yet. But anyway. So that's why because they're going to keep printing money. So the way you handle devaluation is. By Gull solver bitcoin something outside the Central Bank with a Treasury system and Wall Street. System. And, then you have stagflation the best way to beat stagflation as an entrepreneur. If your company cannot grow, then grow yourself so rich that was really designed for this time here, but we're talking to Tom we all right now about taxation and as a real estate investor, the biggest incentive I have several and illustrate one is depreciation and the ten thirty one. So for those outside the country being please here, I made, but you have yet to find a guy like Tom, inside, your country. So? Tom. We're GONNA come back. I'll talk to you about what you, what can a person do? And the after Colle. Environment. We're heading into stagflation, taxation and devaluation. Will be right back. Hi, this is Kim Robert. Just let the studio. So I WANNA. Make a little confession. I went to one of those sites. You know the ones where you tell them all about you and they match you up to your perfect dream and no, no. No, I don't mean that dating sites not a dating site. It's a dream site sort of, let me explain. You see sleep is very important. It's actually one of the most important pieces to losing weight being fit and longevity, but it's also important because when your mind resets and dreams and dreams are such an important part of all areas of life dreams are where you get to communicate openly with your subconscious. and. Now I dream and I found the solution. I found the dream site. It's called Helix Sleep. and. Helix really does care about you. He looks doesn't make just the world's greatest beds. They make to fit you like a custom-made personalized glove. They determine how you sleep for me, I sleep on my back. They ask about your body type to determine the perfect mattress, they ask all about your sleep preferences and then Wa, the perfect mattress is interest to you the mattress that took into account on your needs, desires quirks in style and formulated the perfect design just for you. All, you have to do this, take the helix quiz. It only takes two minutes, but it could change your life. So if you're looking for a mattress, you take the quiz you to the mattress at your match to. Add. On sheets pillows or whatever else you need for your bed, and then the mattress comes right to your door rolled ups. You don't ever need to go to a mattress store again. Just go to helixsleep dot com slash Richdad take the two minute sleep quiz and the match you to customize mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life. Don't forget. Helix is offering up to two hundred dollars off all mattress borders and to free pillows for our listeners that helixsleep dot com slash rich debt. And to make it even better, Helix gives you a ten year warranty. So this purchase keep you up worrying and you get to try it out for one hundred nights risk-free. Even, pick it up for you if you don't love it but the. Good helixsleep dot com slash rich that. And to make it even better. He looks gives you a ten year warranty. So this purchase, we'll keep you up worrying and you could to try it out for one hundred nights risk-free. They'll even pick it up for you if you don't love it but I bet you will. Go to helixsleep dot com slash that. This episode is sponsored by the Jordan Harbinger Show, which is podcast really should be listening to and I know that every day somebody tells you just have to listen to some podcasts and you nod your head and say sure and they'll never listen to it. Don't let that happen here. Jordan show which apple next one of its best of twenty eighteen is aimed at making you a better informed more critical thinker. So you can get a sense of how the world actually works and come to your own conclusion about what's happening even inside your own, brain. Each episode is a conversation with a different fascinating guests, and when I say there's something for everyone here. I really mean that in one episode, Jordan talks to a hostage negotiator from the FBI who offers techniques and how to get people to like and trust you which sounds useful and disturbing at the same time I recommend our listeners checkout, Jordan's conversations with Mark Cuban and Tony Hawk about taking risks, how to separate facts versus fiction when it comes to investing and how your personal net worth is much more than the number in your bank account. Joins always focused on pulling useful practical insights out of his brilliant guest, and we're not talking about pop psychology or wishy washy self-help stuff here. The episodes are loaded with bits of wisdom that you can use to legitimately change your mind and improve your life. The right way if that's not worth checking out, I'm not sure what is we really enjoy the show and we think that you will as well search for the Jordan Harbinger show. That's H. A., R. B. As in boy. I. N.. As in Nancy G. G., R. ON APPLE PODCASTS spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. Do, you have an old clunker sitting in your driveway. Worthy of poor dead. Is it taking up space while adding to your insurance bill? Well, we might have just a solution for you. This is Rich Dad, radio show producer rob, and I want to tell you about a new offer from the Rich Dad Company and Kars. Four. Kids. Kars for kids will pick up your donation at no expense to you and at your convenience, usually within twenty four hours and sometimes the same day. Did. I mention you get a tax deduction based on the sale price of the car. That's pretty cool. So for professional contact free pick-up, just leave your sign title with your keys in the car to avoid unnecessary contact the Kars for kids driver will pick up your car while maintaining save social distance. With Kars for kids, you get professional service, a convenient pickup, a maximum tax deduction of vacation voucher, and a good deed donate today at Kars four kids dot org slash rich dead. That's Kars with a K., K. A.. R. S. The number four. K. I.. D. S. DOT, Org, slash Richdad. They'll give you the donation experience. You deserve karsforkids dot org slash rich. Come back to the rich dad radio, show the good news and bad news about money can listen to the rich dad radio program anytime anywhere on Itunes, android me to. Please the economy. Also, all of our programs are are rich dad radio. Dot. com, we archive them because we're an education company, we're not selling except education. But. One of the best ways to learn is via. If you watch this program again. As you got smarter. But if you have France family and business associates, this is a very important program because we're talking about, you know those AC which is after corona and there was BC and I'm in the middle of all this AC ABC before. We have this crazy election. is nuts most nuts hateful. Spiteful thing. I've ever come across much. Hey, and Lizin recrimination. I, don't know what to believe anymore. But. You can believe the tax law. and. So we're GONNA. Be Talking about stagflation. How do you handle that taxation and devaluation is said, the way you handle devaluation is printing money is goal sovereign bitcoin. So any comments can before we toss. Tom. Now I just I just always a roller coaster in it is at so hard to figure out a fake truth from the real truth and big news real news. It's like it's it's driving me nuts. But it is good to get to facts when we can find out what the facts are. Everybody today is operating on opinion and they think their opinion is. So I just want to get to the truth fax of the thing, and we can always count on Tom Wheelwright who are rich dad advisor on taxes and Name of your company is wealth ability. Also, the author of Tax Free Wealth had a bill massive wealth by permanently lowering your taxes. So Tom, we were talking at the break just a little bit and I was asking you know biters come out with this tax plan is trump's has he has trumpet or any new tax plan or is e basically stay the course as we have it now. Trump's very much. Stayed The course. Trump's very much a private ownership and private investment type of guy me, and that's who he is. Right. So he's going to continue to promote energy is going to continue through through tax benefits is going to continue to promote real estate investment through tax benefits, and he's going to continue to promote entrepreneurship through tax benefits and particularly lower corporate tax rates, as well as lower business tax rates where where Biden wants to raise all those rates. You know the one thing that's fascinating to me is that. Like Robert was you were saying that you know Biden is very much his his constituency, our employees, right? They're pretty much all employees and they're the ones who can't do anything about their taxes. And so when he raises rates, they're stuck I mean they're just stuck whereas business owners, investors. There's there's always going to be opportunities to reduce your taxes, and as you raise rates, you ask you race the incentive to reduce your taxes and so you know when you have devaluation, for example, you by definition are raising rates, right? Because your your tax brackets are going up your marginal tax rate is going up. So if you have a higher salary. Salary just because of devaluation guts get pushes a salary higher Jergen, our tax rate, but you can't do anything about the entrepreneurs. They're the ones, the auditors investors who can actually do something about this, and it doesn't matter what country you're in. I. Mean. All countries functioned the same way, right? It's always a net income tax. So investors and business owners in every country are always going to be able to reduce taxes where the employees Kinda get stuck. A political. Call tax the rich with the only people that get about that are poor people and entrepreneurs I may now employees. But. That's what that's what Tom's book tax-free wealth. Toms. Book is true throughout the world while it's different harebrained, Canada at different here in Nigeria it's always the same. So. If you're an employee or a poor person, you get very happy about taxing the rich. Because you got screwed. Right. Yeah, it's ironic too because you're the one who has no control over your taxes. You know if you tax the rich and you make more money you, you're the one who ends up paying higher taxes. You know historically I. Continually learning this right, and I'm continually watching. And you know historically, the rich have always found a way I. mean they're always going to find out because they have team members have people who watch the tax I. Do they have people who are constantly looking at and constantly coming up with new ways? That are legal to reduce your taxes. Employees don't have that option, and so they it's it's a little. It's a little ironic that they want the higher taxes on the rich. Get. Rich. So the ones who pay a higher tax pit anyway. So that's the high point. So taxed or rich as a political ploy. Understand that if it makes you happy. I gotTA say very simply you're a loser because not that you a loser is that you can't do anything about it, and the reason we have the rich dad radio program again with stagflation taxation and devaluation as an entrepreneur and an investor I want to be proactive, not just sit there and get screwed. So Tom. An entrepreneur start doing about taxes. I. Always say I love this from you. Robert is that businesses a team sport, and so the very first thing you have to do. Upgrade your team because like, Cam you're saying you want some, you want to know the facts and if your if your tax adviser, for example is relying on the opinion of others, they're not going to get the facts. They're gonNA get the opinion of somebody else, and it might be depending of somebody who hasn't looked at the tax law for twenty years, and so they're looking at stuff. That's twenty years old whereas if you if you got somebody on your team, that's cost you look at the tax law and what's coming up see here's what happens. The. Congress actually keeps a list of one hundred items that raise and lower taxes. So these are different tax incentives, different ways to raise the lower taxes so that when a bill comes out like the two thousand, seventeen tax law that's not invented from scratch, I, mean. That's from a list of items that they had already been looking at while the same thing is true. For example, where bind to be elected, then he'd be looking at some of those same things he's looking at what are these things on this list that I can that I can get rid of or what can I do, and then he's GonNa have other people on the other side here, GonNa fight him. So you know it's a balancing act and right now you're right Robert, it's a political act, right because balancing act after their elected for right now, it's just a political act. This real quick to your, how do you know if you are CPA your accounted? They're up to the latest. Tax. I. Think the first thing is you know like any good player you gotta get feeding for that, and if you have a question and your gut, then you probably should be questioning. But second of all is you know it's just find out when you wonder last time, they actually read the law. You know when you have a new bill comes out. For example, we get in our next stimulus package. For the coronavirus that during coronavirus DC, right. When we get the next serious package, ask you know ask your accountant. So so what does that stimulus package say what did you read in the actual the bill itself? Now, what did you hear about it or not? What did you learn about it, but what did you read? You want people who actually read the Law because that's the only way to get the fact sister read the actual law and McGill IM- give your book a plug, the main reason I ask and I asked you to write that book. It's self defense. I mean the tax code, the tax code for. And is are functionally the same throughout the world except Tom and I, teach because somebody you can't do that here. because. He got an idiot in front of you or a Lotta. Times our accountant idiots. But if you re toss book I, don't care if you live in Timbuktu. You'll be better educates you can ask better educated question, and if you ask a better educated question, you know if the person in front of you knows what they're talking about, and so that's why Toms Book Tax Fray Wealth is self defense, it gives you a chance because there are. So I mean how many thousands of tax pages are there? Are. Just in the US and the UK, it's twice that it's twelfth valves. How many pages in your book to? My pace two, hundred, and eighty. Toms book, and then you can skip the rest of it, but I'm trying to say to you. There's there's BC before corona an AC, but also have is the election coming up. And whatever, whoever wins the? The reason. AC as I. Sit going broke. No taxes when you shut businesses down the cities are going broke I. mean tax collections are so down on top of that you have. Everything. Collapsing. So who's GONNA pay for it? You and me. And that's why Toms Book is cheap. Because you've got, you've got to get ready to fight back and I think if there's a core message is. You have the power is read this two hundred page book tax-free wealth. Because coming after us. Right. I don't think there's any question where we're at historically low tax rates and you know no matter what happens I, mean, we're not gonNA ever. See these kind of tactics. Just like we have historically low interest rates, we're never going to see a period like this. For the rest of our lives. Tash traits will will go up I mean eventually they'll go whether binds elected or not, and they're going to go up in every country like you say, I mean, somebody's gotta pay for all of these. Expenses and the lack of tax revenues because you shut down I mean the biggest hit on the economy is not all the expenses of the virus. It's really the lack of tax revenues because you shot the economy down, that's IT and they're going to come after. US. And that's why you know if you have a friend, you know I, always say you gotTa Watch out your friends, business associates around you. If they're excited about taxing the rich I would run. You. have an idiot as a friend or business associate. 'cause they don't know anything because they're poor in education. So, be very careful because this tax DR H. My prediction is is a mantra that's going to grow. What do you think Tom? And in fact, I, think we will see higher tax right I. Think we'll see more tax rates. I. Certainly. Think the corporate tax rate will go up and you know at modest levels. I don't think it's GonNa would hurt the economy at all like I. Think there are some tax rates could go up but but it's a tax incentives. What concerns me. Me More. Is the disruption in the economy when you make major changes to the tax incentives because now you change the way people behaved on a day to day basis and Robert Yeo is GonNa ask me questions because you. You never ask me the question is this deduct grossest deductible. You're always asking the right question I. Say, how do I make this deductible? Matter what it is. How do I do it right and and that's the right question, and that's the question that that you should be asking your account. Your tax advisor doesn't matter what country. You're in, how do I lower my Texas, how do I do this? It's not a matter. And I do it. It's just how do I do it? All that's going to happen with You know we had a a change in administration or change in Congress or change in the Senate is, how's that is done? It's not going to be a question of whether you can reduce your taxes. It's just going to be how you can reduce your taxes cam historically to when you talk about. Tax The rich everybody is getting on this bandwagon of tax, the rich while the people who want tax, the Richard, a lot of them are the people that don't make money in are dependent on the government and isn't it? True? It is a mean I know it's. Happened in Germany when they were in economic turmoil, the people that came to power said, don't worry. I'll take care of you. The government will take care and we have more and more people on the government or their lively. They're all going to vote for that. Right. Of course, I mean people always vote for somebody who's going to give the money. I mean, that's that's true for sure and and there's no question that business owners investors we the same thing. Right? We we also vote for those who are going to. Take our side of things But what's important? The sears is to understand the impact when you make massive change. That's what's important. You make minor change and you don't have an issue. You want unit at a tax on people and make remain dollars. People make over five million dollars added another tax rate there I. Don't think that's going to have any impact on the economy, but you start taking away incentives like the ten thirty, one exchange rules or the depreciation rules or the oil and gas rules. You start taking some of those Santa's away people just stop doing and do you really want that change in behavior if you do then that's how you. So if you look at this year, this is the cashflow quadrant book number two. ESPN I these guys here. They got all excited when you say taxed or rich. Screwed anyway, but they're going to pay the taxes these guys here, the big business and the investor is GonNa do all the fading? Not only not avoidance evasion. They'RE GONNA do tax planning ahead of time. Eating. Call Avoidance. That Beijing's about twenty years. So Ladies and gentlemen I think could just take one thing away from the show right now, if you ask your friend, what do you think about taxing the rich? Then, you'll know spend more time with them or not. 'cause you know you're talking to. You're talking to an idiot who likes paying taxes because they're going to get screwed anyway. Right. It's tough for employees and. Self employed easier for self employed, really tough for the for the employees to do anything about their. Taxes. They'RE GONNA get some tax benefits, I mean under by plan. For example, they would get some tax benefits and they wouldn't have to do anything for them, but they're not going to have any control. See. The difference is on the being the ISIDE, you have control over how much tax you pay. You have control over whether you do those things. The government wants you to do on the left side that in the aside, you really lack much control of your tax situation or frankly even your financial situation. Small Part Time business today you could get some tax benefits. Yes. You know. The great thing about the tax law around the world is it doesn't matter how big you are. The tax law applies equally to all business owners so as long as you get good advice. You can have A. Business from your, you can have an e business, you can do things. Really simple out of your house and you get big tax benefits that if you're an employee when you take a sip, a Home Office right employees don't get to deduct their Home Office. They all have. Right. Now, and the employees don't get to deduct it. But if you started small business out of your home, you'd be able to deduct your Home Office. So, Tom's book is called tax free. Well two, hundred pages. Probably. Twenty Bucks you, us. It could be the best investment you make for the rest of your life and future s not that you become an account, you'll ask better questions. and. I really want to encourage you. I know so many people that get sexually stimulated most of my relatives. When they say, Oh, we're going to tax the rich. Because they're ignorant. They're really really financially ignorant people. And what happens is they get taxed. Because the beyond and the I side will do as everything. They can. They'll have a guy like Tom on their team and taxes. Are you single largest expense and my crystal ball says et about to go up because governments are broke. Right, Tom. Now, there's no question you know you may get a good client state and the local governments. They don't get to print money the way the federal government gets to do. So you know it won't just be income taxes that you're going to increase. You're going to see property taxes, increased sales, taxes in Greece. I mean all sorts of taxes are going to increase because how else are they gonna pay for all of these expenditures and this lack attached revenue? They've had over the last several months and WHO's going to pay for all that P P P and Charissa. They're printed trillions. And they're gonNA trains and more actually before this is over, they're going to print. Several and more. and. You're right that you know that results devaluation, right? That's what that's. What happens when you print money is you end up with devaluation which by its nature ends up with higher tax rates. So we just kind of plan on taxes gone up. So let me read you the three things. My Crystal Ball says stagflation that means growth stops. So. The way you would get out of that is you become an entrepreneur and then you get tax breaks for being an entrepreneur, but you gotta Tom's book. And then you have taxation. While if you become an entrepreneur, you have a better chance. and. Then devaluation, they're going to have to print trillions. Trillions. Means, the value of your dollar is down. So if you're saving dollar-yen pesos euro, you're screwed. So. The Way Outta, the devaluation is goal suburb bitcoin. Those things you can do are you can be a toad on the stool and say, yeah, tax rich. I'm GonNa vote for that guy because he's going to tax rich like you're the guy. That's GONNA get screwed. That's why Toms? Book Tax Wealth. Two hundred pages if you don't like to read, get it on audio book to get something, get somebody who likes to read, but you have got to get smarter otherwise, you're, GonNa get screwed. Cam and other words. Well. I. Think Thomson ended up very durable. No matter what happens no matter which way this goes the entrepreneur will always figure out a way to make the best of their benefit and no. Let me say this if. If the stagflation, the entrepreneur will figure out a way to make more money. Try Right, an employee s wait for race. And then if there's devaluation they're gonna say I'll just say. Loser loser loser. Don't you realize that printing more money might only that look at your interest rates in the accounts point zero, three percent. Crazy, and if they ever raised interest rates, this whole economy would come down. Because I was reading Ron Paul. Who's who was a congressman? He asked for an audit of the Fed. So he got an audit of the Fed I think in two thousand and ten the Federal Reserve Bank. And what the Fed did that never reported because there are criminal organisation. They loan lent out two hundred trillion dollars to banks all of the world and hedge funds all over the world. And that's only partial Oughta by the government of the words that lying to us. So we don't know how much money the Fed has printed and how much more are going to print. So, that's why the rich dad radio show and our books and Games on all. This is more geared for the person who wants to be an entrepreneur and investor and proactive learner. Or you can be an f. an idiot and set their tuck storage. Yeah. Tax To rich. You're the one that's GONNA get taxed. So. Final words there Kim. I think he'd made a really good case to even if you're not entrepreneur today could start a little part time e-business and even that will benefit you better than just hoping and praying that you're going to get a new job. A lot of people are out of work right now, get a new job or get a raise, and I don't think there's going to be a lot of raises being given in the near future given what happened with the economy so i. Know, it just goes back to what we talk about what the Rich Dad Company is. About is about getting your financial house in your own hands getting in control of your finances. That's what we're about financial responsibility. So that again, this this show just reiterate said even more strongly Kim Alway always talking about making more money. Also, we're talking about yesterday. What we'll talk about tomorrow. And paying less taxes, of course their. I'm aware Tom. I. Think we've all learned our lesson over the last few months depending on the government's probably a bad idea. Maybe we ought to take like, can you say let's take control of our live, but I, mean when you're taking all of your life from a financial standpoint as a business owner investor, you also can take control of your tax slice, and so you can actually make more money have more assets and pay less tax as an entrepreneur bester whereas if you're. You're making the same amount of money. You're going to pay a lot more tax as a as a small business owner or as an employee. So in final words on this whole thing is. We. Archive our programs gotTa Rich Dad Radio DOT COM. You know listen to this program again and maybe it will sink in. But more importantly this. If you have friends family members and business associates and you ask them, you say You. Think we should tax the rich if they say. Yes. You have them listen to this program or back away slowly. Back away slowly. So with that. Thank Tom Wheelwright. Again, it's W. H. E. L. W.. R. I G.. The tax laws are the same all over the world basically. It's written for the entrepreneur and the investor at punishes, employees and small business guys. That's that's a fact throughout the world. So it's up to you to get the education that they'll never give you in school. So as Tom Wheelwright book tax-free. Well, if you really WANNA find out why the rich are getting richer. There is no better book except Rich, Dad, poor that right? Bond. Thanks with that. Thank you guys. Take care. Bye. Listen to the Rich Dad radio show was fun I. Remember. The question is, what do you think about taxing the rich? Answer from that friend, our business associate will tell you a lot about. Talking to you. Thank you very much.

Tom Terracina Biden government Kim Robert corona Toms US Rich Dad Rich Dad Company Tom Wheelwright trump Obama Thomas
Episode 48: The Year 1 Hangover

Dad Hard With A Podcast

34:38 min | Last month

Episode 48: The Year 1 Hangover

"Hey. You got him at this down. So from. Let's take them back. Come on. Hey remember can. In summer, Tom when the salvator gotten. So boy. That the from the street almost MELTZER flipflops. Shoots, and leaves you were hosing socks a city slickers there was no water spots. Porn of one. Often A. Welcome welcome. Welcome on my do data's future fathers, potential parents and everyone else tune in, and this is dad hard with pie casts and as always I am your host Moe Green happy day four, million to of quarantine. Hope we really all get to know each other and our children much better. I know that I am. And while sometimes, it can be stressful and crazy. You gotta look at it as being the best thing on the planet that we have this psalm to really get to know each other inside and out. Learn new things every day about both of the women my life but but that said, welcome dad hard with a podcast. This is Episode Forty Eight Aka the Jacob degrom or if you want me to stick with basketball the Nassir Muhammad episode of Dad Harbor The podcast. It has been a wild forty eight episodes because this forty eight episodes also signifies default one year anniversary of Dad hard with a podcast. That means we really only missed four weeks in fifty two. That's pretty crazy. That's pretty good. I think well, anyway. This is the one year anniversary of. The podcast it was one year ago this week that I launched episode one of the podcast. And that started this whole thing that is just kinda grown into something that I never really thought would get this. Expensive. And Grove this quickly and it's been fantastic immune. We first started this thing it was just something I wanted to test out and try and just of. Put my two cents out there to try to do my part in this fatherhood. Brotherhood to help any other DAD's. Coming up behind me in his journey, and it is now turned into the ninety six ranked parenting podcast in the country, which is fantastic. I despaired out that I'm like the number fifteen, hundred podcast in India. So to India, appreciate you guys. In, the top twenty, five, hundred podcast in all across all facets of podcasting here in us it's been really fantastic and I appreciate every single person that tunes in every week or even if you tune in some weeks because he liked to guest that I got on but anytime, you tune in I, really appreciate it and hope that that whether you're a parent a soon to be parents or somebody not even thinking about being a parent, you get some semblance of value. Of. This and my conversations with different DADS and MOMS, and parents and couples. Now, this whole season has been talking to almost nothing but couples. I just hope that everybody gets something out of it. Now, really appreciate every single person listening and following along and continuing to listen and share an offer. The content we're bringing you hear at Dad Harwood have put a podcast. To your friends or family or anybody else that you know that might you know? Need or want some semblance of relatable content that can help them through this parenting journey specifically this Fatherhood Journey. So appreciate it in my eyes everybody that listens is a member of the Fatherhood Brotherhood just because you listen to us every week. So I appreciate it, and thank you very much. It's been fantastic rod and we're going to keep on rocking and rolling I. got some pretty cool stuff coming down the pipe over the next few weeks which I will get to when I get to it a to then to connect fatherhood Brotherhood feel free to she was email as always at dad hard padres G. Dot com follow us on instagram at Gad Har-, Pot and. You can listen to the pod. Wherever. You're listening to it right now or on any other podcast platform that you can imagine from items of spotify to actually directly on Amazon Alexa. We're on, Amazon music now officially. We're all over the place. So this this is fantastic. You can listen to US wherever you want, and if you don't even have a podcast platform, you can still listen to dad hard with a podcast on the website. We Dad hard dot com with this episode will be Blaine. Looking you right in the face at the top of the playlist. So you can listen to this. You can listen to my last episode episode forty-seven that I did with the Standup Dad's podcast, which was absolutely hilarious and. I know everybody's heard of the dad jokes. But until you listen to the Standup Dad's podcast, you have never heard of the Dad Dick Jokes and they were plentiful on the last episode now but they're really great guys. Shout out to them, Mike and rob auto success they're fantastic they've spoken at. Kant. In the PODCAST segment of con- There's some pretty cool dudes and it was a really fun conversation. So if you haven't done that definitely check that out and you can check out the whole catalog both season one and season two of data with the podcast right on the website. Now getting into actual meat of ever. So forty eight. This. Week Is An episode that I wanted to do. Connor to launch season too. But I just I've been holding back in really getting into it and I thought that the one year anniversary of the podcast episode was actually the perfect episode to get into this. And that is the. All stressful one year birthday and everything that comes after that. With your child right and I say all stressful because as I've alluded to with some of my guests on a pod so far this season. This one year birthday party is so freaking stressful that. You feel like you're just like up to your eyebrows and. Anxiety you know you want everything to be perfect as a parent right because you want. Q. What to do your best to make a memorable moment for your son for your daughter for your kid. But also for yourself, and also for everybody else that is going to attend said, one year birthday party. Now here's a little known fact for you parents out there or soon to be parents out there that have never thrown a one year birthday party. Your son or daughter will never in their lifetime ever remember this birthday ever never ever ever ever ever and it is, but it evidently will cause you so much stress because you still want it to be perfect. Right everything that you do for the first time as a parent, you want to be perfect. You want to be the best parent that you can be you want to. Make sure that your son or daughter is eating the best food drinking the perfect type of milk whether it's organic or you know if they're allergic to to lactose that its debts non lactose etc and I'm GonNa get into this milk thing in a second because this is a whole other catastrophe that could possibly arise after this one year birthday, but we'll get into that in about. Thirty five seconds. One year birthday. There's so much that you put into it. Right money. Where's the perfect time? What can we do who we can invite? Let me do the invitations. Let me get the balloons. Let me get. Would are we going to have people bring presence or no presence? All what what type of bubbles and all this all this shit. There's so much that you want to put together and it's fantastic to put that together. It's fun ish not really a fun I made that up. It's not fun at, but it's fantastic to want to do all this right parents save you for a second third fourth fifth birthday because. I'll tell you from my experience and from talking to other DAD's. Daughter didn't even know that it was her birthday much less than it was a fricken Tuesday or Wednesday or Saturday. was just another day for her right. The only difference was that she got to smash her face facing system cake you know what I mean like an. It's it actually ends up being kind of disappointing from a parent side, right? Because they your your son, your daughter your child. Doesn't get anything out of. They don't actually. Remember I. Don't remember anything but they actually don't get any value out of it. They don't. have any different experience. They just think that it's another day especially if you and your family are round people now given we were in quarantine. So we're not. We haven't been really around many people but like we did to birthday parties, we did one at my in law's house, which is across the street. And another in apart with some friends. She goes to the park and goes to my Emma's house every single day. So wasn't really like it was anything different for her but what else are you going to do not even being in quarantine not going to take him to a degree they're year she can't even walk. You know what I mean there are there aren't that many kids in our circle. That around this age that we can even invite because you don't even know anybody get by the time. You're one years old you know what I mean like your friends when you're not making a guest list of like bb friends to go you can make the mom and dad impaired friends that maybe have babies but you just child doesn't have baby friends, right? So it's a weird thing because your child doesn't get anything out of it. So when you put all this energy all this time like wanting to make it perfect and. In the moment it is. It's cool. It's great. But when you see that your child isn't like Experiencing this perfect thing that you put on for them. It's kind of disappointing. I'M NOT GONNA lie and I don't even know if my wife build the same how really talk to her about. How that felt it was cool. It was great to celebrate first birthday. It was awesome. It was a nice time for me and my wife to to reflect on our first years being parents beyond doing an episode on the podcast. But like really see it happen and see her as a one year. Old Right. That was really cool with a little bit of an out about an experience. That was awesome. But the aftermath of it. It is kind of a letdown because your child doesn't get that same feeling out of it and it's not from lack of appreciation obviously there one years old. They don't know what appreciation is you know I WANNA run on circles and jump up and down and get my daughter everything everything that she possibly needs and then if I just don't give a Cheddar bunny, she'll freak out and start crying. She doesn't appreciate yet. She's fourteen months right now she was a one. Year old you know they don't. They don't get that and that's what ends up being disappointing about it. Because you're putting all this time and energy and stress for such a lack of appreciation. And again, not that it's a bad thing but you know. So. Listen I don't normally I don't try not to normally give advice on a part because I'm a big proponent of everybody doing their own thing that is right for themselves apparent for their kids and for their family but I'm to give one piece of advice. Parents Joe Dad's especially actually. Both parents but Don't stress out over his first birthday keep it small keep it simple. Get some family together where you and your family can appreciate. Everything that you all have been through together in this parenting experience because family is just as important as the actual parents in this you know what I mean as parents we lean on our family so much to help us through this first year specifically. Get with family. Keep it simple. Don't do a big HOOPLA because it's only gonNA drive you crazy stress you out 'cause all sorts of. Tension between mom and dad you know and it's really for. No Return, right? It really isn get some family together. Show your family, how much you appreciate them and you know show your child how much you appreciate the fact that they're here and that you have this awesome. Awesome. Awesome thing in your life that you have spent. The. Better part of the last two years. Molding for lack of a better term, right? That's the best thing to do and the best way to celebrate the the the first birthday and. It's also because it'll be with the people that your child sees the most they want to spend time with your family right with the extended family with the in laws with the your parents with. Any brother-in-law's or brothers, uncles, aunts, etc. Right. Close friends you know that in the mix too that might as well be family as far as I'm concerned but keep it small keep it simple. Keep it close because that's where the appreciation is. You're gonNA find the appreciation, right? That's where you're gonNA find it gonna find it in putting something together that everybody that had a part in. Raising this child and helping to raise this child for the first year. It does take a village. Everybody, can now appreciate how far you've come as parents and this birthdays really for you as a parent and it's for you to be appreciated and for you to take the time to appreciate what you have built in your family and keeping it close keeping it small keeping it family oriented. Is Definitely, the way to go? I will definitely tell you that one hundred percent. Not. That I didn't love hanging out with all my friends and all my wife's friends in the park and having pizza and having drinks him. But that was more of like a hang out for us. You know what I mean. It was more more of a hang out for us F I could do it all over again, I wouldn't be considered. A birthday party for my daughter out of just done that on our own with a bunch of friends gone to the part drinking apart hung out my daughter running around her little playpen and I would have kept. Family more even out of even had more family in the mix and kept it close and kept it with the people that are super important and influential in this process. Right? Now the hangover from the first birthday party last a long time like I'm still. Catching up with everything that comes with your with my daughter turning one. Right. And not just the birthday party, but once they hit a year. There's a lot of shit that needs to change and a Lotta Shit the changes. In, them which I guess is why a Lotta Shit needs to change. What's one years old? They're probably crawling all over the place and getting to the point where they want to get from point A. TO POINT B. in super light speed and they're moving all around. So you're meeting to be hyper focused on where they are really for the first time. Now, obviously, six, seven, eight, nine, ten eleven months they're starting to get there. So you need to, but they're not moving like this like. Once. My daughter hit a year I'll turn my head one way right and she's gone I know what you were she is she's probably trying to fall into the toilet and we were in the living room before which is all the way across the house right. So that's number one, they want to move there at a point would they want to move and what comes with moving exploring fucking everything they want to explore everything they want openness joy they wanna taste this piece of garbage they want to you know a slap this chair you know if they want to rip this piece of paper or book or magazine or Work Contract. They want to explore and attempt to do everything to everything. So with that calms babyproofing which I still haven't done yet I maybe a baby proved one door in our entire apartment and it is probably the most insignificant door of them all but. All that Babyproofing, making sure that your outlets covered or that your wires are stowed away because they're going to get into these things and they're going to try to play with them, pull them out, stick their finger in, put it in their mouth everything. This is the I mean again. This can happen before one year. But at this one year mark, like that's like a baseline where it really changes, you can see the maturity you can see the precision and plan by which they have to cause as much chaos as possible and I swear they just WanNa make it s stressful on you as possible straight up once they get a year it's like communist see how can push mommy and daddy's buttons today. They're probably talking a lot. So when you're and talking I, don't mean. Saying actual words and having a conversation with you I mean mostly just screaming and. That they either have things right now or stop doing what they're doing right now you know whether that's eating with that's changing their diaper. Don't get me started on changing their diaper Madan daughter will not stood still on a changing table to change her diaper anymore and that happened white when she turned one years old. Before that, it was cake. It was easy. You only thing she didn't want to stay in her changing table for was to get the snap sucker you know and get this not sucked out of her nose when she was sick or stuffed up now she refuses to stay on her back for anything at all whatsoever, and again that changes at one years old, they have an agenda in their head as short as their attention span might be they have an agenda in their head and they don't want to be stopped and that's a whole `nother level of stress that you're dealing with. Right. and. Of course now they're diet has to change right in addition. Mo- most people are I don't know I'm not GONNA say most people but those that are breastfeeding you now have to start or supposed to start transitioning off of breastfeeding. Now I don't know anything about that life because we go that long as far as breastfeeding. But when you're talking, we did go that long with formula. Now, we're supposed to start transitioning off. And onto milk what happens if your daughter or son doesn't like milk like Ding Ding Ding mine doesn't mine refuses to drink fuck milk the only way that I've been able to get her to drink milk. is by letting her pour it all over herself out of a bowl of cheerios. It is the only way. She won't even drink the milk spoon. She's going to dip her hand into Cheerios and stuffed individual cheerios in her face but you have to get the milk. Now they need to calcium. They need those vitamins that are in milk. They need those proteins specifically right and it's not even. About the lactose we tried to lactate, it has nothing to do with that but they need this and it's know when you go to the doctor and they tell you need to get mill three times a day three portions of mill three bottles, worth of mill all this mill, these drink milk drink milk drink mill, and then your daughter or son doesn't want to drink milk eight fucking stressful. Many different ways my wife and I have tried to manipulate milk to make my daughter be able to get calcium. We have had to go all the way as far as just giving her ice cream for dinner. Just so she could get fucking calcium in her diet because they need it. Now with a need, those types of vitamins now listen, can those vitamins begotten from other things besides milk probably did do the research on that? No I but my doctor told me and told my wife she needs to have this amount of milk day than this amount of calcium and this. She needs that this amount of dairy. So we need to get that Sir and we're doing it any way that we can and. Stressful All of these transitions for the first time a, it's like going back to be a new parent again, almost except for getting a little bit more sleep by. You're still now learning a completely new world right now giving them actual food. Pure as there's no more, you know chopping it up real fine and making separate meal for baby type of thing at least not with us like that are doctor told us. Let her eat what you're going to eat. So now it's making extra food for her. But now when we run out of those leftovers, it's scrambling what is she going to eat? We can't just give her a bottle. Or give her pouch or something like our applesauce. That's easy. We actually have to meet Fu Bloom meals for her now this is a change after one years old you know all these things. Then now compile on top on top of each other and. Learning an entirely new pathway in parenting. And it's wild and it's stressful and it is very nerve wracking because as a parent, you want to make sure that you were doing everything quote unquote correctly or to the best ability possible right you WanNa, make sure that your child is healthy and getting all the nutrients and vitamins and proteins, etc that they need. And You don't really know how what they're getting and how they're getting that. You're you're. And reading things but you don't know if it's working. It's a stressful thing. Especially, if you're not taking to certain methodologies that you're being, you know a steer towards by your doctor or by whatever parenting group you're in or by whatever articles or books reading it can be a lot of weight coming on your shoulders and but I want to say in that vein is. Don't. Let it you down. You know keep. Keep just trying to do things, and if that means giving your daughter or son ice cream for dinner so that they can get dairy. Then give you some daughter Ice Cream for God dinner and they will be on a sugar rush for about forty minutes, and then they will have the best sleep of their life and probably sleep an extra hour. That's what happens with us and it is glorious I, Love Ice Cream for dinner days but. For real this one year mark. is a massive milestone because it comes along with so many other milestones that you as a parent have to adapt to. It's not so much that your child is changing because there aren't that many specific changes right that are happening it. They're getting better at things and they're meeting to do things that they've been doing for months better. And more, you know moving eating more eating better, eating these specific things and transitioning out of the other specific things that they were eating. You know there are so many different things that are changing in their body but not necessarily physically if that makes any sense more like their bodily chemistry as opposed to their physical ability right whereas the for the first year, it was all physical ability changes. You know what? I mean now third sitting up now they're rolling over now they're crawling now they're saying. Sounds now they're poop is becoming less black and spraying, and it is hard little balls because they're eating food they're going from eating. Mush to going from eating breast milk or formula, or both to eating mush to eating slightly less mush to eating a little bit less mush to eating very finely chopped almost mush to eating very finely chopped food. EDP. It's It's physical evolutions that they're going through after one year. It's chemical evolution that they're going through, and that's almost more stressful because as a parent, you don't see those developments but you know that they're happening or you're being told that they're happening you know and. What you can't see. Is the hardest thing to understand and to know if you're doing a good job or not, and that again, that makes the anxiety levels really high especially as a first time parent I'm nats. This has been this last couple of months as a parent is trying to make sure that you are. Doing things to get my daughter where she needs to be or get her what she needs without seeing the. End Result of that in any way because it's just all chemical. And that that's that. So Dad's mom's parents non-parents anybody just listen to my voice and learning about parenting. Or following experience of parenting. I don't know how much you learn don't learn that. I don't know but anybody that following along like. This post one year. It gets it gets a little bit difficult to navigate. But. Just, do it. Just. Do you think continue to do what you think is right and everything will be okay I. Will guarantee you. My daughter is absolutely fine and like I said, you know she's ice cream for dinner. She's Pasta. She's a whole lot of cheese you know and she is fucking fine. So you know. Just do what you think is right and do what you have to to get your your kids and your child what they need And that's what I wanted to doing this episode that that's really what I wanted to get get across here. is that this one year mark is is a big change, but it's a big change for us and. Just wrote it wrote the punches the same way you roll with the punches leading up to this to this culmination of the first year. Don't let these unsuitable changes kind of freak you out and catch you off guard just keep going with what you think is right because what you think is right nine times out of ten is one hundred percent right so that I wanNA leave you all with this. My ship, the bath, the other day, and that was the first time. She did that ETA was fucking grown does I saw this little brown black little ball floating around amongst her her bubble bath and I thought it was her little rubber penguin but it was not a penguin because she had the rubber penguin in her mouth and it was a ball of poop. And thank God. She had the rubber penguin in her mouth and not the ball of poop. But yeah shooting in the bath. It is a very. Interesting thing to deal with. So my advice on that is, what's your your child can can like shit on command or like whenever they want or can shit balls right an actual nuggets ripe. When you in the bath first thing you gotTa do before you let them play wash them down wash wash wash wash wash first. Then let them play. Because if they shit after they are washed, then you don't have to put a smelly child to bed because you best believe once I saw this little duty floating in the bathtub she got yanked f out of the Bath Tub put in her towel white down with a wipe diaper on and I thought that I could not have to think about it ever again until I had to fish poop out of the bathwater. Didn't let go down. This is an interesting an interesting thing. This probably should have been adventures of bad data segment but. I just want cut you off guard and tell you the my daughter shouldn't the bed. So when she listened to this is she's eighteen I can play this for all of her friends and she could be embarrassed she better not mess around with dad because we got a podcast. But yeah, pooping in the bath with the first time she did it and it was a disgusting experience and with that, I will leave you off to your merry way with this week's episode of Dad Hall with a podcast. That is right. This is the entire episode. I doubt that you want to hear me continue row rambling on for the next thirty minutes. There's no guest this week. I'd wanted to air this first year shit out. Because I. Think it's important. I. Think it's an important part of the parenting process and it's a stressful part like I've said four hundred thousand times so. That's all for this week's episode of Dad Hall with a podcast again, as always to connect on a fatherhood brotherhood shooters, the email at debt potted mail dot com follow us on Instagram at dad hard pot and check out the website we dad heart dot COM I don't do solo episodes very often. So you can check out all of my guests that have come on off forty, five plus of them that have come on. And to their stories. About their children not pooping in the bath. So that's offer us until next time. Same Data Tom same debt place we're OUTTA. Hair. Back. A. Just A. Fun. Brings a kid about? Chilean? Kiss I. Back is located. Everything's free, service and all that. Can the playground? Played on the monkey bars or whatever. Sprinklers. Street in the summertime. Whole Cookie. Be One.

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The Financial Storm is Here

Rich Dad Radio Show

42:24 min | 7 months ago

The Financial Storm is Here

"This is the Rich Dad. Radio show the good news in bad news about money. Here's Robert Kiyosaki. Hello Hello. How's Robert Kiyosaki? The rich radio show the good news and bad news about money. And as you heard wearing a metal a major major major quote unquote and Dynamic and the question is is pandemic for real and more sprawl even fit. Israel are not real which not saying it is or not what is going to do to the global economy was going to do to your portfolio. Your future your jobs your retirement and your family so of a very important guest. Today his name is a dear friend. For years. Birth Doman is the author of the book prelude to a meltdown and financial apocalypse. Which as you may have noticed where in it right now. So we're GONNA find out. How real is this corona virus but more importantly what is his impact as a whole world goes into paddock and it comets can well. Berta dear friend always always exciting and interesting to him on the show and he's also number one. He's an educator which is why we relate so well to him he he really wants people to get educated about the stock market and what they're investing in and number two. He's A. He's a major researcher so he goes places where most people don't look give big commercial message right now. His publications the Wellington letter are subscribe to many newsletters and I dropped them all except the well until letter. Because burt actually gives you the Information. I need not the ups and downs of the stock market. So anyway it's a very exciting time. The question is how real is corona virus but even is not real if it's fake virus. What's going to do to our money and our future. Welcome to the program. Burt welcome burt. Thank you very much both of you. It's really a pleasure to be with you. You know especially in times like these. I think it's really time for people to get the results of some serious analysis that we do at not just the stuff that you see in here and the financial media. There's so much information going out. You know like Remember on twenty four. It was the first down day You know we heard. Oh don't panic. Nobody ever made money panicking. You know. I have ruled on twitter which is at birth dome and and Wrote you know? Panic is a response from nature built into all of the big things. And it's a it's a response that can save your butt and that's by nature. Put their those good to panic. But you gotTA panic early down. I rose at the first day of the crash and now don't you think that people who panicked on that day very very happy as that of course our subscribers the fabric because this Sunday before one day before we put out a special bulletin? I think it was about eight pages and we said there was. The Financial Storm begins and the last paragraph had in the ban. The dam is about to break and we gave all the why I was going to happen. The whole Rally for one year propelled by about a dozen big cap stocks brought the SNP. The Dow Jones Industrials Index to a new record. High was going up and people thought Oh. Stocks buying stocks is so simple. They WANNA go up and I had a big old trap is being set. This is only happening that pushing up twelve stocks in order to look like a bull market by the thousands of other stocks are already being pushed down and many of them in bear market and we show the difference between the SMP and much broader index. We always look at to tell us what the true market is doing right. And that's the value line and the symbol as Avi A. L. U. G. So per let's get back to the beginning of this whole thing so you know panicking us okay but preparing is better so the risk that company was hit a kind of wish it are kind of fat dumb and happy because we've been preparing for years for this other words. Since I met Kim. She knew she knew. I was always in a panic mode anyway. So anyway The question is is this corona virus real or fake? The pirates fits real virus. It is highly infectious It looks like where Baid it was on was made to be highly infectious but it was not made to be highly deadly and that is the big difference and nobody really talks about that and now we were getting some better statistics. The prior ones were from China which you tend to trust but now we're getting other statistics like give the people on the cruise ship yet. The virus going crazy around the cruise ship. We know how many people were infected. We Know How many daddy now. We're getting the numbers from the US. Two hundred five deaths so far. Fourteen thousand infections. So we're not getting the real numbers in looks like for most each route. The fatality rate is maybe one percent. This is like the flu. This is not a good reason to lock down the whole country and put us into an immediate pressure. It's actually less than the flu. Itis statistics from January February alone of this year that we've got deaths worldwide deaths of corona virus. Two thousand three hundred sixty. But we've got worldwide deaths from the common cold and flu of just under seventy thousand. I mean nobody's talking about. Thank you very much Kim. That is that's that is the essence. And then you have to wonder. Why are all the government's going into his hysteria? You know this is just so strange you know why is this happening. And the governments of other countries and let's face it. Most of the people and governments are not that bright. I was a panic. Everybody who said people's panic. Everybody rush into Costco Dubai toilet and then officials sadly panicked and that's even worse because they can use force in Madrid. For example the police were given deadly force the power deadly force for anyone who's walking on the street and violating the CORTI. Everybody in Madrid has to stay at home okay. This is this panic you you're willing to kill people to save them from being killed by the virus. Does that make any sense? But burt look. This is GonNa get to right now so you think we're we're talking early. You think this is more biological warfare but the real question is let's say it is or it. Isn't you know it's a big panic? Let's say it's real or fake. Who Cares at this point calling out the National Guard right? Now that's going. We're going to probably civil unrest but my question to you is this. What is going to happen to the economy if I if everybody let's say we have twenty percent unemployment and people cannot work people cannot. They don't have any money and as you know and they wanted. These panics damages the most financially vulnerable. You know just think of all the guys at work in restaurants and all that they're not flush with cash and they got kids to feed so what's going to happen to the world economy lasted more important question. I think it's fake personally. Fake from point of view with the panic is real but the virus may not be that deadly but the point of view is. What do you think it's going to happen to the economy of the world I think and the stock market well? The panic is irrational but the paths acquaintances off the panic. It's going to happen and we are going to go into a depression and I believe there. There's some reason to fan and I'm not saying that is it. But one alternative you have to think would benefit from it depression. Okay just just food for thought okay. There's something irrational happens. If something that doesn't make sense I have heard from trading the market for about fifty years with by on Monday and that other people's Funny. Okay all the guys on TV trait other people's money. I'd trade my own a so. I have to be much smarter than all these guys. Because when they lose money in their plant and so you have to think what the sweetie happens so many times in the market we have forecasts every sharp crash in the market and every bear market in forty. Three years of business. Okay right now. During the last four weeks we have him called Hedge folios with five model portfolios and people can line up their portfolio with our model for the kicked off the Moss. That's simple what? What is the outperformance over benchmark index that we use the value line? We are up sixty nine point. Four percent you're making. A percentage point almost seventy percentage point above the value line. Hey Bert somewhere. You're making my question is what is your forecast for the economy. If you have twenty percents on employment people have no money. What does it look like well? It's obvious you're rocket scientists right. What's IT GONNA look like? That's we WANNA know we're supposed to look. It's going to cause huge unemployment. It's going to cause an avalanche bankruptcy. It's GonNa cost so many failures so many people on the street and when people are hungry and don't have money to pay the rent don't have money to buy food it right okay and suddenly. It's capitalism's fault. We need Bernie so and so you ask the question who would benefit from depression so who who does benefit from depression. Well I know exactly who and I even having. But I'M NOT GONNA say this guy here but it is happening so it's crystal clear what is happening so without mentioning names. What is crystal clear? That's that's the way on this product. We we all know this panic. We all know that people have to do some reading. I have these conversations with people all the time and they make judgments without knowing anything. Okay and you see something like I just said Lucy conspiracy stuff. You know The spaceman Bismarck in Germany. But one hundred twenty years ago. He said nothing happened in the world of politics by chance and this is something I've gone by all the time when something in expectable happens you have to say this was intentional is was plan and you know. I'm not saying that all these shutdowns were planned ahead of time but may perhaps the pets would. I'm not making any judgments. I'm just considering different possibility. And that's what you have to do in the market so short. Hey Bert Bert look everything. You've been predicting is coming true now. Everything even predicting coming true what we saw. You don't have to tell your letter anymore. Touted enough the point is. What would you advise people to do right now? And if you don't want to then you know the average Guy Right now. Data they cannot subscribe to your immune so they don't have any money. These guys can't put food on the table after this. So what what would you advise people? Let's say you have you have a 401k. Let's say you're working for a company. That's going to go bankrupt. What would you say to them? They they didn't heed your warning. So what can you tell them? Now I'm if somebody didn't listen to Brian I I would say to anybody who dug himself a big hole. The best thing I can say. Stop Digging Stop. Listening to guys. Who got you there? But what could they do Bert? What has it's reading some books about the economy and the markets and some good books like our financial a popular book is two thousand eight chronological history. How we call the financial crisis in two thousand eight by late in the year. We're going to have a global financial crisis. Okay was affect book okay. It was still sell it but I I read your on. You also had you're carrying dared that time. Wall Street was Super Bush. Everybody was Super Bush and nobody wants to listen. Burn the car shopping with that. Now ordway do Bert. You're right everybody knows you're right now. But what does a person do? That's what I keep I keep asking. What are you going to do the average person out of money they have no job have rent the mortgage have kids name a lot of toilet and a lot of toilet paper. They read your book now so they get your book. Buy this too late. So what would you recommend now by book by book? It's a little too late for that. I know we sold it. We sold it for ten years but this is the guide for the next financial crisis guides. Go say it would get a few orders people doing. The market's going up and then we'll go up forever. I'm sorry but once you have lost all your money I'm not the right person to say used so you could make it back. Even if you have money you have to have money. You see all these jokers telling people. Oh this is a great time to go. Bargain-hunting work anybody. Listen to them for weeks ago. It's up to the up to the neck in stocks they're fully invested in and they went down the tubes burt. They're already know that they already know that they want to know from you. What can I do next time? We come back. I want you to think about it if you're working for let's say. Mcdonald's have two kids your wife with two kids a single mom with kids and all this to listen to that and listen to me. I mean Kim and I and rich company where flush. We're making more money than ever before. People shot short the market. I making money hand over fist right now. But we're on the verge of something accuse your book the apocalypse so but to tell people should read your book ten years ago. Not Not helping them today so we come back. I want you to think about what could a person do? We'll be right back. Welcome back rower. Kill Soccer Rich Dad. Radio show the good news bad news about the stock market. Remember this is watch twenty twenty. The reason that's an important date because things are changing so fast. What we say today may be different in a couple of days. You can listen to the rich. Stay right at procam anytime anywhere on I tunes or Android and Youtube and please of comments or whatever you listen to and all of our programs are archived there. Rich Dad radio COM. We are kind of them for one. Reason sick listen to this again because we don't make recommendations but we do sell education. Listen to this again. You'll learn twice as much you'll hear it twice as much because there was a lot because Bert didn't stop talking. He's been right for all these years and he's letting everybody know how right he is so just go back to rich dad. Radio DOT COM. Listen to this again and get your friends family and business associates to listen to those programs and discuss it because this is the most important important thing you can do at this time as Berkman say he's been warning us for years and I have taken his warnings to heat and we're doing very well today. I want you guys to do well to get this question. All the time is what can I do now? I said well I want to say I told you so but it doesn't do any good no but I want to wake up depot. I get thorough people who are too Dan. Lazy to make their own decisions to do their own homework. People that have ignored the obvious years and then suddenly she has. I saw that money. Can you help me get it back? I can't so that's it. You're on your own right now. But what do you think's going to happen to the economy? You have no money what can you do? You find out all governmental programs. They have now and we'll have in a future. We unemployment and all these for your instead. They have to have to keep people happy to keep some food in your stomach. So you you you go to the website and see what kind of got print money for qualify for. So they're going to print money right. What the has to. Yeah okay. So that's good. How are they gonNA pay for this? This is what were you. They're going to print money which means Princeton money is going to become worth less and class to class. I learn dependent on the government. Yes exactly in. During that time traditionally gold has become a safe haven for at that time. But we're still in the phase. I wrote about that in January and said during the next market crash a gold is also going to crash. It's not gonNA be a safe haven because gold is not a crisis hitch gold as an inflation hedge and then we had the crash in gold. Get along with the stock line was what happens. Is that all these highly leverage outfits including the big banks that March. Of course they have to come up with money so when you have to come up with money you sell everything including your grandmother in order to get cash. And that's what happened at the next phase just like two two thousand nine and that is when gold suddenly starts responding to the massive money printing right so Burton you know I wanNA know. Are The airlines survive? The ships going to survive. And what happens to all those guys? I think you know to talk about what you said in. The past doesn't help us today. That's what I'm saying. They're wide awake right now. People want to know what you think. But don't tell him well. You should've read my book. No you soon. That their way to week an and they went to the tennis court a couple of days. They're going to close down by the re today tennis. Okay so I mean we're GONNA be all be hibernating at home. Somebody tweeted divorce. Lawyers are going to happen lot of this being court team but anyway but the question. I still got from people that came to report. What's GonNa have what's what's back should I buy? You See. This is put it so. They don't want to know what's going to happen. The only one that give me the neighbors stock symbol okay. Bitter asked to do anything to them by IBM by this. This okay did I ask the. They don't want to know why what's going to happen. There were no By burnt burnt human nature burnt. You and I share the exact same frustration. Exact same frustration. But the people who you're talking to about west Dr by. They're not listening to this program right now. They don't listen to rich dad rated listen to CNN and CNBC or Fox. So the question. We will listen to you so you're in Hawaii Listen to your Robert Keels fucking. What's funny guy? But what's funny is I listened to you so you're listening. That's that's I've been listening to. The point is Bert has been right for years. He's called every top market bottom and all this but exactly as he said people do not listen. They do not listen. Do not care you know so. The question is for the people that are listening. They've been listened to rich dad radio for a while now. Is there ever here? What a great Bert. Dome saying. Screw those guys who are playing at the tennis court set Copy Lonnie part it. I mean what I think's going to happen if you've got cash right now it's GonNa be a lot of Ferraris and lexuses for sale. This GONNA be a liquidity squeeze but you said is true at two weeks. I went here in town to the dealer. Jaguars Bentley's bus Iraqis. Okay that so room a show room across for a bracelet and it was just packed with cars not help. Psomas cars brand new cars like defend lead two hundred twenty thousand dollars. I said my God who's paying for this story. I mean it's horrendous. I'm sure they did a one a half that much inventory. But nobody's buying right right. So so burr. What's going to happen to all these guys who borrowed money for commercial credit and they put up all of these huge buildings. I mean when you look at the look the debt side of all this construction's going on I mean if you look at the charts of the wreath. Reit's what's down only these buildings Patrick. What's going to happen with the banks? They're going to get bailed out the big ones they're gonna get billed out and then with that bailout my gonNa buy just wanted one. So the banking system is GONNA shrank. That's the plan of back and people going to even be able to average person even any able to get money out of the banks or yeah well you got the FDIC INSURANCE. So it's more money printing right but but now if you have more than two hundred fifty thousand dollars then you'd have to be careful because They have a change in law. Now Depositor's note on longer predators. According to new law lose two years old but After the two thousand eight episode the designated depositors shareholders up the bank so suddenly you throw in there with all the shareholders which means you will go bankrupt along with several. Yeah Nice lost. People don't even know that everybody lists Burgess says the reason I don't like stocks as because you're the first loser that bands. When the when the company goes bankrupt the stockholders where they equity holders get toasted. Second are the bondholder. The debt holders. They have some sort of a chance. So that's so that's finance the most important thing right. Now Burke running out of time as you know you've been calling it for years prelude to a meltdown. The China crisis. You warned us what was going on in China years and years ago that there are there are biggest house of cards in the world and then now and then you wrote financial apocalypse. And you're correct. Nobody listen very few people. Listen to me. But what's your crystal ball saying going to happen to China and to the US economy. Well know with any long-term forecasts. Okay you have to always preface that with seeing if the facts change sometime in the future. The forecast will change as well. Okay and that is only intelligent. I would say this time people are the safest having their money in. Us Treasuries Okay. You can by. Us Treasuries the Ninety Day peebles combined medium-term Cubans seven years to ten year duration. And then you come by the long-term treasury bonds as well and you combine them all with an ETF so you can just buy them like a stock and the medium-term is I. E F is the symbol and the long term is T- See that's more risky. Because there may come a time when they were be sold because of this massive money printing but has to occur but over the next. Let's say until year and interest rates. Probably going to come down significantly. We already had people. Don't believe this but yesterday T- bill yields the short-term t-bill was below zero first time in history that could do you actually to pay interest to buy people don't and but that was short term. The reserve immediately came in. They don't like that and they made it for both zero again okay. There's it but we're seeing a massive money. Printing right now by the central banks not only the Federal Reserve but well did it the repo market. Just get one bill one trillion dollars. Oh much more than a trillion dollars per day. Does that mean the REPO market? What does that mean what what's happening there? Short-term LOANS SHORT-TERM LOANS BY BANKS BANK NEEDS to borrow money in order to make a reserve requirement a Federal Reserve. Go by and say to another bank. Can you lend somebody for one or two days okay? And then as collateral they act to give a US Treasury Debt instruments either. The T- found or t bill or something like that. That's the collateral okay and then there's one or two days later to give the money back and they get the treasury security back that those are repos and they're vitally necessary and the repo market. Last summer started drying up and nobody on TV discussable. These guys don't understand out repo market works but the reserve at the goal and then put one and a half trillion dollars into the system trillion. Okay that was meant and nobody really seems to pay attention. This is this is incredible so anyway they did that. And they put more money and more money and then the repo market start functioning again. Listen to me. Is that the usually the money that goes into REPO. Market is the excess reserves. That banks have alignment the Federal Reserve Bank Side J. P. Morgan at one point four trillion dollars lying there the Fed and they were not putting it into report market. And say you should do and I said I spell a rat. Why are they afraid of the risk? You know so anyway overcame that and I said okay reserves now stepping on the accelerator wait stock market until early January and then we have to see and then we see what happened after the repo market froze up again last week. Not only that. Here's another thing that no-one really paid attention to commercial paper market pros at that was the warning in late. Two thousand seven fries and this was a nightmare scenario. That is some of our speakers like Ray. Dally on ice forty years ago we used to speak at about this conferences ghetto. He and I would have a beer so we can. You imagine what would happen. If this commercial people market would freeze. I mean it was end of the world. Scenario Energy actually froze in late. Two thousand seven and nobody paid attention. That's what I was writing my book. Pre Lit de Meltdown and happened again last week. This is so important. And it's not disgusting media with commercial paper short-term. I owe us when a company. The company needs five billion dollars big paper market and Sell Ninety Day unsecured. See I owe US ninety and the plan is that when they come do the just William over for another ninety and for another ninety days and talk but when it comes to freeze and they can roll it over have to come up with a five billion dollars and they don't have it and that's what happened in two thousand eight it who was gonNA lender of last resort Warren Buffett. He came in he provided the money. Goldman Sachs I think that ten billion dollars from Warren Buffett private investor. So this is what happens when the commercial people market freezes up and it happened again. This is the prelude to something very very bad reserve and I was putting in trillion dollars a day into the reported and much more into the other markets. The money printing right now is going to go out this world. Okay Someone who said I forgot who it was but somebody well known maybe it was bridgewater audio. We'll get see money at Prenton thirty trillion dollars. This is this dude. You know this is what one and a half times any. Gpo country so getting into panic. Burt Birtwell one big question. I have what is you said? Something you know. At the commercial paper market was more was really the linchpin. Why is commercial paper market more important than the repo market or they equally weighted affects companies directly? Okay well here's another warning signals that everyone ignored in two thousand seven. Warren Buffett was sitting on an all time record amount of cash. Okay I think was around sixty billion dollars and at the same time. Oh by stocks of the greatest investment long-term put individual investors and. I said why isn't he doing that? Why is he sitting on so much cash? Okay and then we find out because he was only one that had cash when the crisis happened the next year now would happen again in January. I was reading the Warren Buffett. Just told HIM JUST TO BUY STOCK. Why is he said he got one hundred? Twenty five billion twice as much as at the peak in two thousand seven sitting on so much gas if he thinks stocks are so great. Why doesn't he put it in the stock? Now we do. He's going to be the only one to have cost in this crisis. Twenty five billion. Hey Bert love heavy on the program I mean you. Have you have insights that? Cnn doesn't have you know that right out saying and all your friends down at the Work TO PLAY TENNIS TENNIS COURTS. So a burt. I'll say this once again. I been listening to you all of these years. I remember coming out of my house on diamond head and my neighbor says that crazy. Burt Dolman said. I said it's not. So yes he is. He's he's trying to scare me. I said well maybe you should get scared and now people are finally scared so you know your books are prelude to melt down in financial apocalypse but the most important thing ladies and gentlemen. You should get his Wellington letter. Because Burt doesn't just give you this stuff. I don't even understand it most letters but his latest lab Walton. Let our shows exactly how he tracked how he made money when the rest of the market was coming down so the follow people that follow. Burt Doman are making money today. That's the most important thing that's what Burton saying a letter is called a Wellington letter. Please get it and his website is domain capital Dot Com. Do H M. E. N. CAPITOL DOT COM so so burn. You've been wanting everybody all these years and one or two trying to listen to you. Finally just say one thing. This is really important owned. Get sucked into these little bear market. Okay I she's still most people. WanNa buy little POPs okay? The major trend is down. This market is going to go much much lower over the next two years okay. So you don't want to get to you. Want to trade with the trend. The trend is down. So that means you want to ignore the pop and when the pop is exhausted you Wanna sell short the pop this morning after that the Dow lost about six hundred point in the NFC. Okay yes. There's always a reason the reason you're the governor of New York New York state down okay. This is import. There's always a reason. Okay the reason I'm going to keep coming. Keep coming and as you pointed out the worse yet ahead when all of these millions of people are sitting there without a paycheck and they're expensive ski running and they need food all toilet papers exhausted. Put etched up on a toilet paper and aided in this back time and it's GonNa Happen. You know I I just think we. We are very lucky. Lucky to have a businessman president at this time and instead of a community organizer is taking very good accident. Tsn terrific team right now. Yes to GonNa make mistakes but who doesn't really happened it is. They're acting so fast. That medicis incredible the programs that they have put into place a short time So I think that that is very lucky for the American people so burt thank you very much for bringing us up to date again. I'm how much is a well until not our cost cheap sixty nine dollars a month for that. You get usually two issues and a month like this. Probably get four each issues about fifteen to twenty pages so you got a lot of stuff and the reason the reason I love birds while into letter is I can understand it. That's the most important thing if you read his latest letter you'll find out the people that were listening to. Bert are getting rich right now. And the people that are watching CNN CNBC. Getting poor. So burt thank you very much. Thank you thank you thank you. Thank you bye-bye prices on if your listeners really. Dc GET on. Don't get sucked into get rid. Scams realize its markets. Don't always go up. They go down. You can make more money faster by knowing what to do when or down until they're thank you Bert. Okay take care bye going into a few more comments from the Breitbart back. Welcome back Robert. Keels activist radio show and once again. Nicholas and the rich radio anytime anywhere on Itunes android or Youtube and leave us a review and all of our programs are at Rich Dad. Radio DOT COM archives. Because repetitious how learn and we listen to this program again. You'll pick up even more but more importantly get your friends family and business associates to listen to this and discuss because it's exactly as birth was saying people haven't listened you know. He wrote the book Prelude to a meltdown. Nobody listen financial apocalypse. And then he goes to the alloway tennis courts or the wherever. The tennis courts are now where Kim used to play in Hawaii and people. Don't listen they just might give me a hot tip. Give me a hot tip. So even when the markets are crashing. We're probably going to the biggest impression on world. History people still looking for a hot stock tips so go to Rich Dad. Radio listen to this program again and discuss it with those friends of yours. Who are idiots and they need to cut some in education and the comments? You know it's the same like Jim rickards talks about in many people. Talk about gold and silver and they say by now because when it when the time comes and you're going to need it it's going to be gone it's GonNa be too late. So what what? I'M HEARING BURT. Saying is is really. If you haven't prepared or done anything you're GONNA be in. You'RE GONNA be in big trouble because it's the preparation that that word we're doing okay and a lot of people that we talked to No I've had. I've had several people come up to me and just the last couple of weeks and saying thank you for what you've taught us about a rich dad because of you. We're doing fine today. We're GONNA be okay. Went through this crisis. So it's important really important so this is going to be a very short because birtwell shut up. He just kept talking and he says good things because he's been right people frustrate. I get frustrated and I talked to friends and family. They go you. Don't know what you're talking about. Please pay attention so the thing is just let you know rich. Dad's doing very well. We have more cash. Our employees are set. That don't have to worry about losing their job and all this stuff because we have cash personally Kevin. I am even better off because we have real estate. We have apartment houses when they start. Bailing out the poor. That money will go to. People who rent are apartment houses. God bless them but unfortunately the American economy is going to be destroyed because the debt and poverty going to hit America. We're probably going into a great depression. Depression last twenty-five years nineteen twenty nine to nineteen fifty four so this is going to be bigger than the last one because they're printed more money and and isn't it also going to be that more and more and more and more people are now going to be dependent on the government. That's the intent. That's what birt's alluding to is is a Gut Americans women pretty cocky and arrogant and the American spirit is strong but they broke the spirit. And now that's why I'm not against Bernie. But now more and more people are safe shifting to socialism but more Marxism and the troll with most Marxists they don't know their Marxist and a Marxist start Marxism starts when he the B. P. C. politically correct. Pc means you've lost your freedom of speech. And that's what's happening in America in the world today. I can't say anything because I might trigger something some wimp anyway. That's life and life in the big city. The thing with Kim was talking about gold. Silver is this three types of gold and silver one is the futures market and the reason the goal gold and silver prices went down as futures markets selling off. Then there's the market G. L. D. and L. Salvi and they were met monkeying around with gold and silver so the price of physical gold and silver plummeted. That was the best time to buy so Kevin. I backed up the truck. We bought more gold and several of the hard part was we couldn't get any but that's what you have friends so when you have friends that we've been buying gold and silver from for years. They won't sell to a new guy but they'll sell to their best customers as a thing that Rick Jim Records was going to be my next part and our next book called the Ravens about how you predict the future. Jim Talks about his light toilet. Paper people are hoarding gold and silver. And the people that are hoarding gold and silver. As they're taking it off of the floating supply in other words the amount of gold and silver is actually going down although those more gold and silver rich are buying gold and silver in the central banks are buying gold and silver and they're putting it into deep storage so the amount available for the average person is getting to be less and less and less and less we go into a great depression. You won't be able to get any. That's what Jim Records was saying. Better by now while you still can but Airbus GonNa wait till the panic. And then they're gonNA buy it to. The panic has hit as so last couple of days. I went to my friends and silver shop. It's empty but not that as empties hiding it onto the best customers get it. So that's the that's life in the fast lane is fair. Yes it is fair because you bought birth births newsletter and all this stuff early listened to US earlier but of course most people won't so that's why we have the Rich Dad radio program or thank Brett Tolman so the point here is that we panicked a long time ago right. 'cause we did we. Did we panicked when we had nothing when we had nothing and what the Rich Dad Company is what you and I have done over all the years. It's what we've practices what we have done. It's the actions we've taken. We didn't talk about things we haven't done. We bring another experts for that but the people of the Rich Dad Company and our guests and our radio show guests. They are people that practice what they preach and so they know what they're talking about birth says he invested his own money most of those guys on CNBC Fox they invest your money and they lost it and they don't really care as long as we say as we always say when you ask a financial planner what Shai invested. That's like asking accountable. What's for dinner? Thanks to listen to the rich DAD radio show.

Rich Dad Bert Bert Kim tennis burt depression US China Rich Dad Robert Kiyosaki Rich Dad Company Bernie CNN twitter Youtube Burton
86 - Loss & Legacies With Ian Iacobello

The Military Veteran Dad Podcast

1:07:50 hr | 2 months ago

86 - Loss & Legacies With Ian Iacobello

"One hundred percent support your wife it is one thing to be a follower. Your wife does not need a part time dad they need a full-time committed father and that is what every military father needs to understand is they? Yes you have a career you also have responsibility to raising your child's in your wife needs a break. You might be on the front lines, but they're a hind, you taking care of everything you need support them during one. Fire Donna. Coming home. Welcome to the Military Veterans Dad podcast where it is our mission to bring every dead home I'm your host Ben Cooling I'm a united. States marine veteran husband in a fog. We'll bring authentic conversations to inspire action year life. So we can close the gap between the dad you are today and the Dad you want tomorrow this is the military veteran dad podcast. Welcome back to military veteran dad episode eighty-six Today's episode. We talked with US Army soldier in Cabello. He has a new dad with eleven months on this episode talks about a lot of things and it won't be a dad podcast if we didn't talk about fatherhood in Ian Opens right out of the gate with a commitment to stay at home dad when he retired military in ten years guys if you don't get excited about being a better father after listening to this. Episode I don't know what will because I was excited to be a better father in just has this passion for fatherhood that is so in today's society and they knew from very early on from having a good dad in his life as titles suggest his dad passed away when he was thirteen years old and how that changes life, but then also prepare them for when he was a father himself. So without further ado, let's get started with Ian. Welcome to the podcast in. Hey thank you. Thank you for having me. Your kind of coach slash pushed into this podcast interviewed by Your Wife who runs strength for spouses part of a military spouse program. So I appreciate you starving your fear and coming on the PODCAST, go ahead and tell us a bit about yourself, your family and your current military service that you're doing right now. My name is Ian US army currently a staff sergeant out to be a drill sergeant upcoming weeks in been in ten years ten more to go until I retire and I can't wait to. Do that. So I can stay at Home Dad, and then my wife can go back to work. How many kids do you have? Have Won. Eleven months kind of a new dad on this journey. But loving so far. Pretty early on to commit to be a stay at home dead. I you know what I'm ready for your for it. Let's dive into that question because I'm a fellow stay at home. Dad Drank the KOOLADE kind of guy. So what about already at eleven months has you feeling to be a stay at home dad on the other side of military service? I just WanNa be that cool. Dad that you know we're all his friends come over and they're like, Wow, look your dad he's all Tad in east. Cool. He's ex-military reading go played army in the backyard or something. I found some of the similar things during. Kovic. So a lot of the neighbor kids around and I'll light they'll becoming over or like sometimes I'm on a bike ride last the neighbor kids come I've had like ten kids with the end a bike ride before in many cases, this is the dad that's doesn't have a job right now. so He's dead, but it's my goals eight home dad so. They're not very far off from where I wanna be just going out there and being that cool. Dad that's out there. They do different things. It doesn't have all the responsibility and gets us. It's crazy imagination to come up with fun things to do with the kids because often sometimes need a little bit dad influence to extra ten their what their ever designing in their life or afford the stuff. Absolutely, I I honestly can't wait for that. I can't wait to be. You know when he starts doing sports that I can be you know that the coach or the assistant coach to whatever is downright ten years. It's like perfect sports timeframe to the time that. It really is like my dad was always the same way. You know he he would coach and my soccer team baseball team basketball team you know anything that we did. Was the coach. I KINDA WANNA to do the same bowl. You know and being a stay at home dad like that after you know twenty plus years I kind of feel like we deserve that. It's interesting. You had that perspective. So right off the Bat Bay commend you for because it's the rarity because they believe most military men go with the mindset that we serve twenty, and then it's up to us to read designer life on the other side with being the provider still but I've really kind of leaned into this idea. The last six go instead like let your wife step into like flip roles like she's. A big huge burden, the entire twenty years to keep everything going like, let her be free as a bird and go do things and travel if she needs to have a corporate job and doing different things like switch the roles, step back in and I like to treat the time with kids is kind of like a credit card that you are a lot of time as a military dead but she doing twenty like just put it on pause and just paid it. Back with interest and just double down and being a good dad for those next years before they move out and you only get one chance to be a dad and lots of times that twenty year mark yet the three either just getting ready to not care about hanging out with you or maybe it's already too late. But tells that your last chance is really the really step into otherwise you're gonNA wake up one day in like manner eighteen where did all that go? Yeah, exactly my wife she wants to work you know. So I have no problem with her just a you know what? You take over the main role for. The bills and everything and She ordered me so much. I think it's I think she deserves that as well for. -burse in you know I, support her in you know I, stay home and. Take care of the family while she goes earns. Earns that paycheck live off my retirement. So, and I attended a conference in February before the Wilbon crazy called dad two point Oh and it's essentially a much Adad answer is their dad preneurs. In a lot of them I realized I didn't never connected this idea. So I wanted to be a stay home date add, but I never really Google the research on facebook I stay at home dads at it turns out there's massive facebook groups there's group called National at-home Dad Network they're having at Home Gad con every year in. October like there's an entire world of people out there that love and do exactly like when you tell people that you want to stay dead generally you get a lot I get a lot of looks at least like what I could do that I never be home with my kids like. Here Stat or stories with Dad's like I had to be home with my kids for an entire day and I'm like yeah okay. Yeah that's fun. I did it yesterday and it was a blast. Yeah I know I think that's just kind of a the transition from how it used to be into what it is. Now, you know like fifty years ago you know fathers were allowed into the delivery room you know they the the wife gave birth. The father smoked cigars or whatever in the other room and early contact with their with their child. Now a days it's like. Now it's like to be a part of the child's life is so different and I think fathers today are slowly embracing that but they're still kind of like that old school mentality where it's just like, no, that's that's that's the wife's job they they take care of the child, but then you have like fathers me and you no, that's our job like. We I want to take care of my child I want to be there might child sites I have this crazy idea people many people told me crazy but I would love to have four kids right now we have three and what I really love the fourth. I eight, five and four right now aren't. Going on six so almost eight, six years old but eight, five and four in. That fourth one leg my biggest thing is like I just want to be there for all of it like I am regret not being able to be there and each kid I was more and more present. But like this one I just want to be there I don't WanNa have to choose work and a little bit about my backstory that in January I went to work one day and at my position eliminated within the first hour at work after eight years so. After all of that time invested in having a yanked out like I'm done trading time and money from memories of my kids like that transaction doesn't compute anymore and that's why I'm doing the dad poor route like so going to be a little harder going to liberate slower but men twenty years now, I'm never going to regret this summer with my kids even. If, I have to get a job or whatever the road like leads. I am so proud of myself for leaning into creating many memories not stressing out just kind of being dad and so many different levels I mean days we're going for bike rides. Three times were outside playing. We're outside just doing different things and going different places like I'm going to love. And of that, and for me, it was actually kind of I went into the pressure cooker with this idea. So last year, my wife went to China for the first time going to China meals alone. Yeah. So they did a teacher exchange. So she's a kindergarten teacher and they did a teacher exchange where they went over there and they got to observe Chinese classrooms they teach teach Chinese lesson with. That was the longest stretch that I'd ever been a dad by myself. longest had been like maybe day ever fully remember it was actually that spring she had gone on a four day vacation to Florida for spring break with a few other teachers. So that was four days that I was on my own but this was ten days and I was like this is GonNa be a lot. And so my insurance policy I took vacation. So I'd only had to be dead, which was still trestle enough, and by day four, I was blogging it about it on my facebook profile every night I would just write about how beat down I was or about some net magical moment or what like all everybody was getting a good laugh at my expense. By. So she left on Friday and Tuesday I was just beat like I was dead I'm like I, don't know if I'm GonNa make and I, feel I woke up with a hangover every morning even though I wasn't drinking each night. And had do it all over again but by Wednesday I was like really hitting a stride and by Friday I was like I got this and I was actually reading a lot of those posts is a couple of weeks ago in thinking back to like what I was actually doing I, probably had a hangover of that memory going after going back to God just want those ten days bag at just want those ten days back in that really kind of just like lit this little burner inside me that kind of was small. Kindle and I just kept chipping away at it, and then once I lost my job, it was time to fire it up and roared and then covert APP and like to me that's like the best families year we're all together all day, the drive, my wife. Lebron. Nuts. But for me I was like this, this is what I want. I want my kids all around me and it was perfect. We get up we do different things I was part of their education like that's about as good as I could ask for. Cova was excused hey, you know what Kobe get to be with my kids hey, man sharks. Yeah, exactly. Like. The last six months has been some of the Londono die from Cova. You'll have made my life better place a really good set all that that inspires me. You know I can't wait till I. Ever say that I can with my kid. You know maybe one day we'll have more I don't know three. That's who you can do once you if you're going to a stay at home? Dad. Got To get the trading wheel a little bit and that I one intimidating wants the first one gets to like two or three. Then you're you almost automatically probably going to have to. But some of the the real problem that you're gonNA run into his I'm going to for shadow a little bit. You're got one now you're gonNA. Think you know what we got this I think we can do to and then she's going to. Get pregnant and then you're gonNa be like what the Hell will rethinking like she's GonNa say you're GonNa say it like this was not a good idea. The baby's going to come out and she's like, how do we think this was a good idea like we lost our sleep again and it's all going to go away and what you realize is all the systems that you created for one baby fail for too. So you have to. Rebuild the entire operating system from the ground up of all the different routines, your advocate all out. The good part is three all the systems for to carry over to three and the first child you had actually starts to help with the third one like it's actually almost like an entertainment machine a little bit where they put on the floor and the first one will like play with it especially if it's like four, I think my daughter was four when we had our third child. Now, if we were to have four I, mean all kids are all the kids are pretty much the point where they write their own butts. So they can all help take care of the day and they're actually asking for another baby. So I mean they're going to be able to help. So by four is not as crazy as even one sounded, but really wanted to wanted to is the. Hardest jumpy. Don't actually know it and you're going to lie to yourself to think that you can have to. It's worth having too. So I, don't want him talk you out of it. Just you WanNa go on with your eyes, wide open that all the confidence you have from one blows up when you have to and you're like what the hell get to diaper change to kids of feed like. How was this a good idea? Did this to me now I mean we would love to have to. We would absolutely loved APP to I would love to have a daughter you know I haven't Sun Right now. So Javad daughter would be like the biggest blessing ever We'll. We'll see what life takes us on go from there. Maybe before the drill field is actually arranged for like your wife to go on a girl's trip for like three or four days, and you maybe take some leave before getting. Caught up in the drill field schedule and just let her go off in, have a girls weekend and you'd be dead and kind of get a good taste of it of it. But then also like fall in love with it and like. Making sure that you create those memories of like what you really want because for me I can tell you I did this a lot that I romanticized about the idea and I kept trying in my head but then my actions were always aligned to put myself in the place of being a stay at home dad and so I really had to stop lying myself and actually switched to doing and so getting more comfortable and my wife she does volleyball she does she's even going for girls weekend in a couple of weeks up north with some girlfriends. And those moments like creating them, and then this kind of getting used to this idea. But then you get, you get those anchor memories like that ten days for me. Those are huge anchor memories and I'm going to remember those like was yesterday when I'm fifty and you can create those core little memories now even with your eleven month old and just. Create a legitimate. An intimate dad's space said is completely different when your wife not around that it just you and him and it's a different feeling when it's just anew. It does because you know what? When a when, I actually forced my wife out of the House you know just to get away from a little bit. For a little bit and you know. Me Hamill. Go Up to the man cave that I have. Klay around and I'm like you know what I can't wait till you're older so we can enjoy this man cave like Ben should all this stuff so you know like Those memories are starting now and when he's older I, want to tell them when you were eleven months old, you were hanging out at my bar in my man. You're drinking a SIPPY Cup or a bottle of milliken. I was drinking a couple of whiskey. Exactly. So you know those those are starting right now. So you can actually joke you should. It can be funny post where he has apple juice and you have a bourbon and they're both lightly colored or. That dark color. Yeah. Sharing a drink as men. Yes. Yes. I can't wait I. can't wait for that. Yeah. It's it's GONNA be awesome. So. Let's go back where it's a little bit in your story what got you to join the military. There was a couple of different reasons why I obviously joined later in life. I didn't join right after high school I joined when I was twenty three. You know I've I've always been a patriot and everything like but I think what really drove me to join the military as I was having some rough times I couldn't even afford a no eighty nine cents. Can of Soda Out of the Soda Machine. And I was finally like you know what I'm just GonNa miss going to do it on a joined, the military and. I will never will never be that kind of situation ever again is you have any history of service in your family. Yes and no My father was from US born raised in. Sicily. So the only military service I add My grandfather would he served in the Italian army? During World War Two. It wasn't toward I'm first generation here so. He fought under the. Mussalini in all of them. But there were some interesting stories that chair over the dinner. Ta? Used to tell me when I was little at all the the dogfights that he used to like see between the Americans and the Italian aircraft and all that other stuff. So. Kind of the first one to serve in the American army. Really proud of that and I hope that you know my son grows up and sees that Hopefully follows the same footsteps made with the Air Force enough the army. Are Hopefully, the army or the Air Force. There's nothing wrong with Marine Corps you can always give an upgrade to it. You know. They'll let me ask you different question. What do you feel like what programming did you have wrong that led you to the point that you needed the army like how would you living your life up to that point that you felt like you need to reboot? Structure I needed a new structure. Around with the wrong crowd of people when you try to go to school. nope. Never attempted to I'm not a college person and I'm not afraid to admit that odd person. Does. Well in school. The military is just I. Feel I always felt like was just some something for me because you don't really. Yeah as an enlisted soldier don't really need college to advance in life like you just need like your Har-. what you yourself can offer without a piece of paper. You know your heart your mind in your back yeah exactly. When you were trying to find that structured, what advice would you have wanted to send yourself back to 'cause I'm trying to understand like as you were maybe a teenager going into your twenties what wasn't there in your life that maybe you wish your dad or someone would have given you in those early teenage years that would have helped. You had a more rigid or more structured life the leading up to maybe the choice to go in the army whether you need it or not. Even you know I don't WanNa get pressing or anything like that. But my father passed away when I was thirteen. So I didn't really have that influence from him. Who wished he had joined the million kind of made me when on autopilot. I of did for Awhile and then before I knew it I was disciple what am I do with my life you feel like maybe you're staying thirteen in your mind. Kind of yeah. Almost like I never really grew up or anything of that. Chapter of your early life there. Yeah and you know when he when he passed away like I may be never grew up but I always knew I wanted to be a father. and. Got to a point where I was just like if I have a kid right now I'm not gonNA survive I can't even take care of myself So I was just kind of like Whoa. Let me get my buddy into year. Do something about that. So is there a piece of advice you'd put on a sticky note if you could put it back there for in defined save twenty years old. I would say do it. Do it like it do it. I actually have a piece of paper that or a label maker at the top of my screen monitor that says suspend the need to know how because for so long I even even today I would say I'm still not past as a data life as every day but I over think everything to the point where if I don't know how I don't do. And then I switched to this well, I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying and the worst part in two thousand twenty is most people don't call each other out for trying if anything they actually probably get a little sympathy and they're like, well, at least you're trying or I've also could also frame it that you're you're trying to go to the gym in the morning maybe you get there but don't do a great workout while you're still running laps around the person still in bed. That trying to get you the result even though you're trying and like getting from that trying to doing even the stay at home dad part does the same thing was happening there like a Lotta Times I was trying to be a stay at home dad but I wasn't really doing it and I was missing the court things but I was sitting in my own misery of my own a little bit as. The loss of my job and kind of the whole rewiring of my life there was a lot of that like is trying I'm okay and I'm not. I don't really have to push the limits, but that's not gonNA fucking get us where we WANNA. Go. No absolutely. I mean I mean you can either try to be a father or you can actually father is a difference between two. Ten you know for for guys like us. We're we are fathers and. Trying to be one isn't gonNA cut it in. That's kind of like. It's Kinda. Like a lot of things in life you know you either try or you're gonNA just do it. So I like going into the drill field. Yes absolutely. There is no try in the joke field. No. Absolutely. I would train future soldiers or I'm just GONNA fail miserably adults. Is there a piece of advice that you remember from Your Dad that you often look reflect back on something you still use everyday. It's not necessarily a piece of advice. It's it's the way he was. He was an awesome father. In are always remember. When other kids would come over to my house they loved it. Because of my dad and it's because my dad was always he was always involved in whatever we do in whether it was you know snowball fights in the backyard or you know whatever it was and I never really realized it but he was an awesome dad. Because he was so involved. And I. Guess. Just from seeing and growing up with that has just Made me into the data that I always wanted to be. He gave the blueprint. He kinda gave me the blueprint. Yeah. What did he knew for a living? He was he worked for Raytheon even as I can top secret where did something for the Patriot missile. I duNNo. Exactly what he did. It was enough to them to be safe home dead or not you dead but be a good dad get overwhelmed with whatever he was working on. Then you know you might have worked long hours but he always came home and was just like what's up bud? Now like eight and you know hey. Would always give me the biggest hug in. Out. No. It was just the love that was therein when he passed away I never felt like he didn't love me or anything like that. I can truly say that that lives on through me through my son. I just want to point out that. I think you're a podcast guests material. I would say you are perfect, Military Veterans Dad podcast material. And, there's two major things the you're talking to there is one the legacy of father of it. So the bottom of my logo I've added our families, our legacy because that is the biggest thing that I've realized as doing this podcast and interviewing dad's it wasn't something I was even aware of wasn't even something I knew of until episode twenty five. That this idea of legacy or even put thought to it I never even thought to it but once I put thought to it made perfect sense. So many military dads get stuck on the legacy of there are service like, why did my friend die? I lived what did that mean? What does it mean for us to go to Iraq three times? All of these horrible question that have no actual answer that does anything to answer make you sleep at night. But if you focus on family like your family the next like I always say for someone that lost someone over there like your friend died so he could go home and be the best fucking daddy could be. Aren't being the best dad like you are doing him a disservice. That's how you need to show up every day because if he was a dad like he doesn't the hug his kids and his kids don't get the hug him but you do like you can't beat a neutral. You've gotTA BE DAD. Now. Yeah in I really want to explain that. To my son, you know the army is very you know demanding. So. Many people miss birthdays whatever I want to explain to my son they you know what we do that. So other fathers and sons. Don't have to experience what we do we. We make that sacrifice so they don't have to and I really want him to understand that that there's something bigger. that. He's a part of that he may not understand now but he later especially as he grows up because he's going to be a military kid. So he's GonNa have he's GonNa have to see you say goodbye or he's GonNa see you go and like he's going to carry a little bit of that burden and helping him understand like what does that mean to carry it? What does that mean to be almost servant leader like? His house fees he's GonNa. Be The man of the house when you're gone like, what does that mean like that conversation I believe helps especially a boy. In, identify with the things that men should be thinking about worried about in like looking for others like that's something that I like about what you said there. He's military kids are going to be. They can be someone that really understands how to exchange world, but you really have to give them the wisdom to help them understand how they fit into it. Yeah and you know it may not anything that you say were what you do. You know when he sees me, you know go away for like a year you know. It may just like click into his all right I'm the man now. And you know that that hopefully that carries onto when he grows up and goes into his marriage, he can look back and say you know what I had to do this that. I'm going to be the father that my father was to me. You hit it already there as well with the way you talked about your dad and when he gave you as a blueprint. that. Your Dad's never going to be forgotten as long as how you live is a father continues shape fatherhood in your family been the future and maybe your if his dad didn't have the like maybe if he started new chain, let's say and this was like a new chain of being a good dad and your family like his name will be the person that started this whole new branch of what it meant to have a family and be a dad and what that meant to lead your family. That's the legacy and I wrote a blog posts a couple thinking about two years ago. A veteran is only forgotten when no one repeats his name and it kind of came from movie Coco, which is probably still too early Oh, those off such an awesome movie yet the day of the dead celebration of remembering. Lake that I was watching it and I was like poof hit me like grandma I got to write a blog post. Me Like veterans are only forgotten when our legacy stops getting repeated, our our names getting forgotten, whatever we created in our family. Our kids are the best chance we have to truly make dent in your father started something even though his work ended at thirteen, he probably even ignited even further because he he created a forms, your heart in a way that allows you to get excited about fatherhood. But then also with the pure responsibility gets on media Kinda, keep it going to astle did leave your life early. You know it's so sad that you know my son will never meet him. But he will he he will meet him through by memories your stories in like as long as he knows who he was like that's what matters. Yeah, exactly. You know he was a is a proud Sicilian. He made sure. That I knew that I was Sicilian and all this other stuff. So I WANNA make sure that my son knows that he sicilian proud of it. All this other stuff and You know my lane my name lives on through my son my last name you know it was it was really up to me. For my last my last named Bon and now now will. Where son that's members? Win This COLUSA. Isn't hit me but hit me and maybe a couple of months ago that we do on this earth is important but we leave behind his ten times important. I think that's what your dad do and that's what he's already implanted in you as you become a father and you're already picking up the blueprint like you already got your ten year plan for. When you want to be a stay at home dad and if you can create more those memories before ten years like it's going to drive you that much more end unlike me when I pulled the plug at tech for those ten days won't be trying to ride your bike for the first time. You'll already be worked up in Lake hopefully maybe you've done a week or Two weeks and your wife has gone away for two weeks somewhere. Hopefully you've got a little trading those before you pull the plug at ten years you're already like a got this. Any. More. It's just like any training exercise military. You just gotTa Die Right, into it and see what happens in. Even if my wife goes away for ten days, I know I'll be fought. I've gone you know six seven days without sleeping without eating all this other stuff what dive into why the drill field. Was, DA selected for it. So you just. Got Lucky I'm lucky depending on. How you took the new. You can say that I mean I wanted to be a recruiter. By cutting assignment orders came down, they were like you're going to be a drill sergeant that was like, okay. Just like everything else in the army. We do what they say. So I'm interested because I've interviewed a couple of drill instructors and a couple of kids that had mom and dad's that were a dad that was a drill instructor. Do, you have any idea how you're going to handle the change emotional structure of coming home and going into that work environment because they're. So the there's such an economy of what it takes to emotionally be instructor, but then emotionally come home and be a dad let's almost like three hundred amp circuit breaker versus the light switch almost feel it. Again, it is on, I'm sure the army doesn't train you how to be a drill instructor slash dead. The figure out on your own I think, I have the advantage of just keeping working families separate whereas know if I'm angry I can just take it out on the privates and just come Home Abbey in that's The way that it's just going to have to be you know when I go into work to a drill sergeant and when I come home, I'm going to be my happy author like figure and there's just no question about it. There's no. There's no there's GonNa be no excuse for why of not that? Keep Your Eyes Open on it because I think it's probably the biggest struggle. I think it's also a test of the patients. I think the patients is because patients is almost like a gas tank. It's empty it's empty and you just can't turn a light switch it back up and that patients is what it takes really especially those early ages they just they need an Uber Monitor patients and you come home empty from like the the recruits emptied it out because they were just being idiots and you had to like pt more than normal and then you got a kid that doesn't listen. You're gonNA had eighty recruits not listen all day. Why can't you listen like that? Emotionally one that messes up with you. But I see I can see the difference in between them because The recruits therefore a short time. My son's in be here forever for me. When I walk in, you know after a long eighteen hours a day and my son comes running up to me he's screaming Daddy. Just going to Melton his arms Whatever happened that day disappear The mindset I always kind of came in with the door and it was always validated every day. But the kids running through the door doesn't happen as much. Now without having a job I was purposely always getting them off the bus on the bus and like that. Hug. Like that was absolutely amazing but you realize quickly that like once you walk through the door to matter what happens you're still there hero like they don't care they don't even know in your is your still the biggest idea of what it means to be a person like they're always going up to always excited equity gone for five minutes and my son's side a couple of days. So he's five and almost six. He's a little bit on the edge of doing different things for different reasons and I come home for like been gone for like an hour getting groceries or something, and then he'll just be extinct on shit like. Everything, he's doing I'm doing he's got the right behind me and those moments are the ones where I really love patients because if I can have the patience. It like Y'all he does is WANNA learn what I'm doing like the night I was teaching him how to cut up a watermelon and he absolutely loves watermelon. It's those little micro moments that if you can keep the patients that you can really create something that allows you to feel yourself forward but you don't have the patience you won't have. Won't be able to have them happen. You'll just get annoyed and yellen shutdown or maybe try to ignore them for the resonate. So I commend you for the mindset and being awareness because I would say, you're not the average military dad that goes home with the awareness what the emotions had that day in this allow them to switch to a different mode like most of stay in that same mode without ever being there is a mode. Now because you know most you know military people. Unfortunately, it is a problem, but they go after the day's work in they drink. Or they separate they separate from their family just to escape that stress and I just can't picture myself doing that at all in if you're really going to seriously the dad in the military. Lifelike. To be one hundred committed to your family in not turned to the bottle but turn to your family instead after those rough days and. One hundred percent the moment when my son. Calls My name. Is just whatever happened that day I can just honestly say that it's just going to disappear on the snuck that's about it for the rest of the day or night or whenever I come home. I know for a fact, that's how I'm going to be to be a military dad you really need to love your. Children's. And it sounds funny to say it that way. But that's often and I think what you're hinting there is the love part. But on the other side of love is the fear part and because of military men don't process a lot of their emotions, they fear what they feel. Their kids are on bottled untethered. Swimming around tornadoes of emotions and it makes him fearful of their own emotions and they push back instead of leaning it with love. But you don't realize that love can actually counteract your fear and be an anchoring point like if you feel like you're just lost on the ocean, your kids can be like a boat anchor that allows everything else to be steady again. And it's a pure endless love tank where you can go and get a hug and just feel loved even though you may not feel like you deserve it your kids will always give it like you do. Yeah, you know I think the only thing that I fear is not being there enough for my son I feel the same way is like especially when I did have a job I was always just this constant like God i wish I was there. there. Now I am. So it's it's it's Kinda. Come true for me. I think that's the only thing that we should fear is that we weren't there enough for them. Obviously, you know as men in the military and women in military spouses and everything like that. We make sacrifice in. But when we don't have to make that sacrifice be one hundred percent for our family and everything. What about? The other part that I wanted to hit on before move on June one more topic is that new become the military dad you don't realize I, think most men don't because we're taught to provide, and so we connect everything for life to the provision of what we think we need to do every commitment in your life has an end date, the army, the military, your job, some point even a dad even a dad has ended like employed. They're gonNA go off and you'll just be colleagues he won't actually they won't actually need you in the same way as they did before but the one to your wife is the one that goes until you go eight feet under. Those people don't prioritize their life in a way that honors that like what happens in military. My wife has been a commitment that I said to the end of my life and our it needs to be more important than even your kids because your kids are going to betray and they're always going to be there are always gonNA. Love you but your wife, their relationship. There are so many times when you get that out of order, you need to prioritize the kids and then they twenty in the move out of the house, and then you look at each other and like I really don't know who you are because you spend so much time looking in focusing on the kids and then everything explodes and you've got to start over again at. Twenty years into your marriage like it needs be the number one priority and the hardest part and I feel like it's almost it's a duality military services noble in it's worthy. But it's also an excuse that this is more important than me doing something for right now and I think a lot of men to hide behind that especially like you can hide by gotTa work late at the office if you're in the corporate world, but often you can really call that bs but in the military, you could even stretch it further like the command set gotta be here. There's sure not doesn't matter. You've used it and she has she's going to believe. Whether like. You're never going to get called up for doing that in the military generally because everybody just thinks you're doing it for the right reasons but that reason is what's going to slowly withdrawal we are talking about taking your time like a credit card like it's just gonNa keep barring time from your your marriage and with interest it's GONNA eventually go bankrupt and it's going to Max Outon your going to explode and you're like, how did we get here? Well started when you said you command need you to work late nights this week. In you know thankful that my wife understands exactly. No, it's. It's the Army I than everything else unfortunately, it is like that but you know what my wife understands that the army can have your mindset with it in just making sure this she always knows that she still number one I honestly believe that she knows that she's you know number worn she knows that I have a duty. It's what I signed my my name on the dotted line for and you know, I'm I. Am one hundred percent willing to sacrifice my life for the greater good of this country. My son and my wife not not realize no, I may die tomorrow today will live on in because of my sacrifice, they will live in a peaceful. Harmless, you know safe world because of it. You know I think my wife every single day for sacrifice that she makes for me make in my sacrifice to my country in this. That's really what the you know. The military spouse is, is they are if you're not going to be. You'd have to be as committed to the army as you are your military spouse to sacrifice that. Could never be repaid honestly, it's been hard for me to have my wife gave up her career for mine. As many military spouses. Have you know she mentioned that sacrifice? Sitton? The best thing that I can do for her is when I am home that I am one hundred percent committed to her. In you know supportive of whatever decision she makes whether she's upset at a job and she's like I can't do this. I. WanNA quit. You know what I got. You got your back I got your six like you've got mine. I just don't understand how so many men in the military. There so easy in quick to divorce. You know as they do they don't even want to. Just. Don't want to even commit the time. To make everything better. You know you can't do that in the army why do that in your marriage? And difficult because the army is that nice warm. Place that you hang out without a lot of negative consequences like you can mess your life pretty bad and still have four squares are three squares a day and a roof over your head even if you get divorced. So it's almost like you have that safe place to run back to and it makes it easier maybe to get divorced versus like your life up if you're on the outside and you have to completely rewiring your life and income and all these different things to make things work. I don't know why the it's. Frustrating every time I I see a divorce or the ones that really killed me as when the dad doesn't feel that he's his his family as a burden to his family and they take his own life those those eat me up because like in your case, if your dad would have killed himself at their gain verses just passing away most common thing that I've discovered interviewing other people is what they get stuck on is they don't know why they like their dad didn't love them enough to stay like what was it about me? That was so bad that you can stay around and that feeling in scar never heals many dads think they're they're earning the paying either maybe through divorce like they just feel like they need to gather families lives or they think they're doing kids a favor by maybe killed themselves but also pass that pain on darkness in a way that their kids never understand in through years of therapy. Later, they're going to figure out why that it was connected to how their their father removed that idea of love from them without their permission kind of. Absolutely and I don't want s that onto my son at all. But in the other hand when your case like the way your dad did live in the way you're living as well. Even if you died tomorrow, you already have his legacy, a blueprint that your wife understand what kind of father you were, what kind of father you wanted to be, and the things that you did. There was a actually buggy I interviewed last summer on the podcast her husband died in a scuba diving accident recreational scuba diving accident in. Hawaii he was a navy diver. And he lived life without a bucket list the PCS Hawaii five guys in San, Diego got on a sailboat in PCs Hawaiian sailboat. Ends like that's the kind of mind mindset he was like he did it without a bucket list like if you want to do it, he just did it and we were talking on the podcast like and she was six months pregnant with the baby and she had two kids already that was like the oldest was four when he passed away. So if you imagine the emotional burden of trying to continue on your life but like when we were talking like hit, he left a blueprint for his kids to follow like if he ever wants to get everyone to know what what would dad do in this moment only do something adventurous and they'll probably feel like dad's with them. Yeah you can. You live your life in a way that your kids can understand like I was going. We've been going on long bike rides like eight miles to the local gas station get some slurpy milkshakes for a bike ride my oldest daughter and she's talking about like why I do this and different things and I'm like well, at some point if I were to die next week, you're probably going to go on a long bike ride maybe think about that. And wonder what dad was doing or what what dad do in your life if I wasn't here. So these are memories that you're going to create, and so your kids love it too young to have those anchor memories but it ended what point you live your life, all these little intentional time that you take with your kids. All of those little moments are memories that your kids will use to connect to you in a way that you'll never understand and future happens. But those intentional memories happen like once you allow them to get to know you like that's going to fuel. You are fuel them well beyond your time on this earth and. Is when you make those intentional deposits. Absolutely I absolutely one hundred. Percent Agree with because you know I find myself doing the same things that my dad did said to me like tell my son what's the matter what you? Do you know what I mean like heat my I remember my dad used to say that to me and it just came out instinctively. How I talk to him and I'm just signed by never been forgotten like that's. That's to be a curse that gives passed on from generation to generation in. It's just like I don't even know where some of the stuff comes from within like I remember back I'm like you know what he used to say that to me now I'm saying to him I just it's crazy the way that like you know when you have a good father, it just has on like that. You know even you know my grandfather I take the grant you know the the grandson grandfather relationship really seriously because my grandfather took over as at father figure when my dad passed away. And even like the same thing with him like he just the things he used to do with me, I'm still doing with my son. I think it's wonderful. The way that so blessed that I had such a good family and I know my son's going to have a good family to. Just swells heart joy. Does from US both and I'll give you a very good reason to try for girl on the second one or you don't try to grow an reason to try for a second one and hope for girls. Better way to say is if you flip everything you've been talking about for your son your daughter, you're actually the person that she goes out to find. The, you live. Your Life is how she's going to measure every man against a joke that the dad was a shotgun at the door is the dad that set the bar very low and he's extremely worried who daughter compares him to and tries to find. So if you lived your life exceptionally at a high level in a lot of other people treated your wife, well, like your daughter is naturally going to natively look for those things and qualities and. She's going to reject anybody who doesn't measure up to my dad because your son, you're year his first hero, but your daughter, your your I love and so like you take everything that you are as a dad and just how you communicate with your life, you lead your family. These are things that is going to change in shape how she sees herself and the world, and you're going to create a woman that goes out in the world with the hope. That you can change it. Yeah, absolutely. I mean I honestly wanted a daughter I did but I'm blessed with a son. I'm so proud of myself I really. Am You know if you were to have another one I would definitely want it to be a girl. And Yeah I would just. Gone I would just love her to death how many brothers and sisters did you have? I HAVE ONE SISTER I can already. An whether this is going to make it true or not for you but. If you kept trying for a girl and you got to three and you ended up with three boys. And you'd probably end up with three boys. Short of like seven years of getting out like I can't imagine the adventures that you would go on with three boys as a stay at home dad like that would be of the most epic adventures that you could probably do because they would all be at that age where they just love adventure getting dirty playing in the mud like that would be is just as in heaven if you did ever girl because you'd be completely alive in your heart and those moments as well. Oh. Yeah I mean honestly like. I can't wait till. He gets a little bit older promise. You have to like three or four between that before they really start to do fun. Boy Things. Things younger, but they won't be good at throwing a baseball or doing that stuff or even my son's really now kind of hitting his heyday with riding a bike and doing ness of like I've really enjoyed the bike season in being able to have mall training wheels. And about a stroller crap like that or no, I just can't wait to play with toys. I'll be like I'll buy toys and I'll be like, yeah, this is for Rogan, but it's really for me. He goes we do a lot of my son or tractors. Trains trains is one of my favorite is doing the Thomas the train type stuff. Yeah I can't. I can't wait for that. I've I've never I've never you know wanted to play with toys but you know is kind of weird doll. Yes so You can take your imagination and when you enter their imagination lake and just going to be in it like that's awesome I. Remember there is I was calling our walks in adventure last year, and so we would go over a gravel road and it'd be like we're GonNa go over the land of the big road of small rocks and these big grandiose things I remember looking off in the distance and there is a caterpillar excavator and Look, there's a cat and the wild. Got A big kick out of it where where where I'm like look it says cat right there on the side, the excavator and like just being alive and that memory and moment like that was just fun expanding it making something special just an excavator being parked in the lot. Oh Yeah. You know my father used to sit beside me we use the draw together and you know I became the artists that I answered because of him and I can't wait till. We side my son we draw. Bill legos and he gets to create negative influence on what he's creating and give different ideas is definitely biased my son with his LEGO building for planes. Huge airplane nerds always bill. and. I'm a star Trek. Fan. So I'm always building like these ships with anti grab and weapon systems and all these different crazy stuff to go. Yes. I love taking that all in there and he's always building. He's definitely got better building airplanes all on his own to. Awesome I bet he's creating stuff in your dislike where did you come up with that? Yeah like sometimes it's like that's pretty good dylan and really good job. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to like Synthesizer Watch Lord of the Rings e comes up with his own fantasy adventure I'm just like you take me a long telly what to do you know I'll play along with you. You know I don't know you know what odd memory that you probably would enjoy a little bit. Funny if it connects with you is I was always macgyver fans. So I, bought all the season's macgyver and Okinawa when I was there and so I had all seven seasons and then by now they are all streaming services over the last few years. So one my in my son's favorite thing he was always early riser in the family. so He'd wake up and he'd come get me up. So we'd go downstairs and we will just watch macgyver in the morning that was honestly the one thing that he would always want and we'd I just loved like I love macgyver and I love that he loves macgyver and we're just sharing. In it and you'd ask all these different questions about as macgyver gooders macgyver bad or wise macgyver doing that. But like I honestly believe my brain is I think like macgyver a lot and I believe because I've watched macgyver and it just kind of helped me understand how to make my brain more effective and just like sharing that memory of macgyver with him when he was only like four and five I mean like he's not an old enough to really understand what macgyver is about but I love sharing that something that I love him and that's something that he's still enjoys like can wash them guy ever in the morning and he's been doing it for three years now. When my when he was first born I used to like rock him to sleep. We used to watch ancient alien. Together F- Intra Channel, one, right? Yes. It is about like the Gods and everything you know they believe that they came down so But. I really hope. We still do it. Now, we still watch ancient aliens together are really hope that you know when we're older we're still watching that together and it's Kinda. Just like even if he moves away, he's just like Hey dad, you know. I want aliens are you talk about it for half hour? I really hope that's the kind of connection that have now like how you and macgyver out with yourself. And that just happens in the morning and I could easily do something different than moment but it's another one of those classics like you just kind of lean into those moments when they happen because. It could be the very last time you never know when it's. Time that they're going to need you to do something and just like that it's gone and you're like Oh crap I thought I had a few more at least before identified attention to it, and now it's gone and now one day I'm not going to need to my daughter's button I'm like Oh man I what really be good right now of my daughter dating me to wiper button it sounds funny to say like that but. Eventually, it just moves on to bigger bigger problems, guide her life so much easier and she's like daddy can you wake me at the top of her lungs like that was the only problem she had it was an easy day but now she got like Oh this girl in the playgrounds all doing things and there's this boy chasing me that's kind of conversation my daughter's already having it's. Much easier when it was just easy problems like playground problems those are some the worst the deal with I can't imagine s the. Changed my diaper stage. It'll come in and just like that it'll be over and craziest bar. It'll be over your kid maybe like healy to running around and getting autonomous, and then you're like I. Think it's time for another one. Then you reset it and you're like cod that was a hard reset back to day one. A. s You just so so slowly forget how much pain all those memories we're like subconsciously your brain just pushes them down and you're like. God what were we drunk when this happened like we did we think real. I Enjoyed, getting eight hours of sleep. Will you know when I used to skateboard like I would break my arm and then? I would still skateboard I. Wonder Why is because? You forget that pain to get what it felt like And then when you do it again, you're like Oh. Wow this is why. Won't stop in the first place. So it's Kinda like having a kid where you're just like you know what is even now at eleven months he's nowhere close to the same baby was when he was used for Liam's and he goes so fast that like sixth year and a half, it goes by so fast. It does and I'm disliked where did you? Where did you get that lap? Where did you get that when personality not going on right now? You know before he was just like Canada's bouncing in his bouncy seat watching the baby I channel on now is Standing up in. I don't know doing all sorts of weird stuff. Pretty entertaining if you ask me. So. One of the things that's interesting reminded me of is my kids br started riding bikes at different ages. So my oldest started riding bikes maybe like five and a half my son was like maybe. Almost, five I feel like he was at the edge of five just turned five when he was running with my youngest daughter, she is in such demery to catch up in life too. So she was determined this year to ride her bike and so we got her a new bike. We started with the training while she was doing good and she's like Daddy I want to take them off I'm like last time he couldn't even touch the ground we took them off I think we need to wait a little bit and she's like no daddy I'm ready. That little girl has offer training wheels since the end of May and she zips round flies, she still cannot touch the ground. So I still have to get her on and off the bike, but she flies around that all the time and I joked with her the beginning I was like whittling winning. And she'd be like I grew up a long time ago daddy or and then it kind of more flights for noticing dad. Lily when did you grew up? She's like when I was born like she's very smart ass remarks and is just like and your for you. You really shouldn't have all this vocabulary to make me feel bad about you're growing up or anything like that is just like and just like that. She zipping around and she's so determined to grow up in like it's light years of like. She's going into preschool this year in like she's ready to go garden deals more stuff than my son actually, I, honestly, Alexa, the alphabet rining her name like my son still some struggling with that news going into first grade. So ease debt she's just got that my daughter had the same thing. She was naturally just Kinda learned all those little basic skills very early on and so she. Just, like even when you're doing home schooling like she would have her kindle and she listened to her teacher message even though she has not message and it's just a video from Mickey Mouse at the end she would be like my teacher told me I needed to color pitcher for her and it's just there's no pitcher message, but she would just magically great this up older. Brother and sister were always watching teacher measure every day. So she had to watch the teacher message in her head with the other kid 'cause she just had to be like them through the entire time how it's crazy and it's it's all part of the process. It's absolutely like in those early years, it's all shaping you to who you get to become as a de grow up and. It just gets better and better at it may seem hard now but you're being sculpted in a way that you're going to leave your family in a way you're not ready for, but that's almost all why you have to go through that. Being Dad nearly years because it you have to of be withered back before you can kind of grow into who you are as a father. I feel like that's. Military father's kind of have an advantage because we're so used to go into the unknown. and. Just coming out on top in you know kid is this no different were just. We, kind of learn as we go in the more, we learn the stronger we are. Defensive Adventure. We've lived a lot 'cause military dad like if we can gift of small percentage of the wisdom and life depth that we've given given by traveling the world like you can create amazing adults that don't even come close to the other kids potential at the because they don't have the dad that has such a depth to his view. Yeah I, just I can't I honestly. I just can't wait I just. I just WANNA I want him to grow up but I don't you know I wanna I wanna suck in these moments that we have with him right now. I can't wait until he starts talking and Just, saying weird stuff this like good at the same time. Dislike you know what I'm glad. You know just those proud moments I. I can't be careful because it's that look right there. That's going to be the one that get your wife pregnant again. You're commodified interviewing like honey. I've got the best idea and their world you're gonNA think I'm nuts but I think we can do it. Let's have another one. Yeah. Why not why not we did one? What's the worst that can happen? Yeah we figured out the first one. We'll figure out the second one. It's segment will be easier. This one was hard. So American and you got your back Corner, you got a dad with three kids. You gotTa podcast more putting out advice. So you can always check in and see what I'm doing to kind of give you that edge up on trying to figure out from the first time. Exactly I'm like he's ahead. So we just have to listen to what he's saying we'll be okay. Yeah, and actually to close it out there you picked up the power of coaching like which most military men don't realize is that for Millennia, we survived and tribes and we always had people ahead of us and behind us and even as military men part of a military unit, we don't synthesize that unit mentality with the wisdom of people higher up in a community command into the our loan life, and we just assume we have to figure it out. But from Millennia we were figuring out together as a tribe. And we're never meant to figure out dad all on her own like there's always the data that was ahead of us, and there's always a dad behind us and there's going to be a dad binds you and you're like, Hey, you should try this when you've got a newborn and you're gonNA feel like you've got some good advice even though for a guy that has three kids you're probably like, why don't guy probably much good advice but there's always someone else and the other side of that and you're like explaining like a barrel of monkeys yours got one hand up in one hand down in the game of. That is so true because you know. There's a couple of guys they've had babies like a month or two before and after mine. Were always like have you has your kid did this yet? Are they doing this yet or? Were just talking about like all the same things in the fathers were like a month ahead I'm like if they don this yet and they're like. Is that normal like ev course? It is I'm asking the father's ahead of me is this normal and they're like, yeah. Well. That's good. Do I take him to the doctor for this or not? Yeah exactly. I'm like he's doing this weird head shake thing is that normal? They're like, yeah they all do that. I'd have found that the willingness to take him to the doctor. So quickly is definitely goes down with more kids you're more like, yeah, it'll go away. We're like that now or just like you know he's fine. He sneezed that's great. Yeah. All those first like three months where you feel like you could break them like that's where the fragility of the idea and you're like I think we should dig him I. GotTa Rash I think we should take them. Yeah and then add this like floppy next thing that goes on and I'm just like is breaking I don't know should be A. Neck. Brace on. He has a dent on his head. Is that normal? Yeah. It's flat out a lie. No heroin growing back there. Is that a problem is he going ready now? Well Ian I've absolutely love this interview and because we didn't really know where we're going to go. But we went right into the core of the podcast and I pretty sure you enjoyed the conversation as well because you weren't fully sure what you're going to expect. So I really appreciate coming on the podcast and if I could only as one more thing what's a parting piece of advice that you've learned maybe in your first eleven months as dad's something, you want other DADS to remember that your tie. What's one thing that you want dads to take away from our conversation today? To absolutely one hundred percent. Support your wife. It is one thing to be a bobber. I guess what I'm trying to say is your wife does not need a part time dad. They need a fulltime committed father. And that is what every military father needs to understand is. Yes you have a career. You also have responsibility to raising your child's. In your wife needs Greek honestly he means the there. You might be on the front lines but their hind, you taking care of everything in you you need to support them absolutely. That reminds me of some advice that I use with my daughter. So like a lot of parents, this Mr Kids problems that they have in their life for the teenagers or my daughter at eight when playground issues but I always tried to approach it like their world is just as real as yours. It's just different perspective. and. When you dishonor will you tell them not to feel about a certain way? All you do is suppress whatever they're feeling. No matter what you're feeling you always have to walk into it like whatever they see in their world that's their reality and for you to walk in judge it or control it or even it just makes them shutdown even more in you need to let them feel what they need to. Also as men in women's lives, you need to help them through it like when you can bring understand how to own your masculinity, which is something we. talked a lot on the podcast recently when you understand that you actually guide your wife through whatever she's feeling because when the feminine energy is out like it's very untamed energy in the maskell energy is what's designed to help control it feel calm. You need to be in control of who you are and how you can show up and you need to be fully showed up in your marriage and as a father to really be able to. It was your wife through those feelings that she's going to be having. Absolutely I mean it it shouldn't be a problem to take your kid for a couple of hours to get wifa break if you can do it for ten days for three kids in the can do it exactly and you know if that's if that's a problem for you, then you shouldn't be a father in the first place honestly like you should want to you should want to be. Like I said if if that's a problem for you than sorry that you should be a first place that speaks something I always say with kids when they when they trigger you that when you're triggered by your kid that says more about you than it does about them they just figured out your weakness and not use it died. Yes. That's true. That is very, you don't feel like being a dad that says more about you than it does about it's not about their behavior. They just don't have to share buttons and they're designed to figure it out. They're human beings and they're going to keep figuring it out and whatever you feel good about that. Some area you haven't explored in. There's some thoughts, some story something that makes you very uneasy that you don't talk about at dinner parties will Ian Again I want to absolutely thank you. This conversation has been awesome. It's been a great way to end the night here and thank you for coming on the podcast. Thank. You for having me. This is this has been great. This has been a wonderful first time from the podcast in I think hopefully created a monster in your like I gotTa. Do this more. Oh. I absolutely want to definitely again and you've been. Thank you so much for having made this. This has been amazing. Guys, I, hope you enjoyed Ian Story as much as I did he his passion for fatherhood is so contagious can't help what want to go out there hugger kids throw a baseball and be a better dead and so some of the takeaways I got out of this episode were reigniting and believing that being a stay at home dad is a noble cause right out of the gate I didn't know Ian was going to lead with that. But man, we instantly connected when he talked about being a stay at home dad. Reversing the roles in retirement that is something that I've talked about quite a bit on the podcast with other military dads and with military spouses and kind of planting this idea about what if everything would be flipped on the other side of your retirement that let an honor your wife for the commitment that she gave will you served and then let Her go out there and find herself as well. Having more kids to the family. That is something that I'm facing with the shruggled right now is my life and in his life as well, and that was a great conversation. We talked about Anchor Memories I love the way he talked about his dad and the way that those core memories helped him lead. Into become a better dad right now and how he shows up cultivating patients as something that I know a lot of DADS struggle with struggle with it's one of those. It's not an empty well, but you have to continue to fill it up the only thing. I can. There is make sure you always remember that kid spell love t I m. e. And that anytime they're having a behavior. It's almost always rooted in some type of deficit and time in a lot of that patients is killed when you really instead of trying to manage situation, you really need to stop what you're doing investment time or flip it around the hey, I'm doing something right now in ten minutes dad can do something with you. And join those micro moments at a lot of those. A lot of life happens in those little mini mini moments where you don't really expect something magical to happen. But man, that's the gravy happens. So guys with that I again hope you enjoyed ends podcast. Thank you for being listener. I can't tell you from the bottom of my heart, how much it means to be. A podcast host to you guys on this topic and to hear the feedback about how these episodes are making. You become a better father and if you need help out there, please don't hesitate to reach out Ben and military veteran dad dot com. I'm always they're always willing to have a conversation if it has been a parent on this podcast, I try to teach my life as an open book and I try to be that friend a wish I had in my life for someone five years ago that I wish I had mine. So with that I will talk to you guys again on Friday and you guys have a great an epic week.

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Episode 14  A Streetcar Named Dad

Bad To The Dad

53:04 min | 1 year ago

Episode 14 A Streetcar Named Dad

"If you're the kind of dad who parents his kids with movie lines and that movie is the shining. Then this is the podcast for you. We are bad to the dad. We're celebrating suburban dad life and every dad in between you're an urban dead. Or if you're a dad that lives in a Yurt, your till it hurts your till it celebrates you to this is another week of podcasting with my good friend coach Randy my name is Adam de and we're so happy that you decided to download us. And just do the dad thing that thing we're bad to the debt. That's right. That's what I just said. I know but for listening. I am listening. I I think it's we're coming along number fourteen. Yeah, we're moving along a great episode today. Dave t- Canaan yet is going to be our guest McCollum from college. And we've stayed in touch throughout the years and one thing I really have to say about Davis. He's not just a great actor comedian, a former podcast or podcast actually, did a podcast not too long ago called bring your own lunch where he interviewed actors and comedians. In the theater world. Very very entertaining. And the great thing about podcasting still available hasn't evaporated go Google it and find out where to download it. And I think you'll enjoy it stands the test of time. But Dave is a very generous guy. So even after we graduate graduated graduated how league. Kill the wag after we graduated. We would exchange job leads. Yeah. And he always had some great job leads for me and allowed me to do some side, gigging as I was trying to figure my own thing out and just just terrific guy. And you'll you'll find that out a little later on you see avengers yet. I have not seen avengers. Yes movie. I cannot go on ticket. Especially those theaters were now you were at yes, Irv, you're on Sita. So now, I'm going to have to leave it all to fate and go to a theater where you don't reserve your own seat which show up like two hours imminence like men return to the teams out in eighty three just say back in the seventies. Before the movie the black just waiting in line. Well today today is Sunday. And this is the day that we record the show, and then eventually uploaded so by next week show. I can give you a review of the vendors. It's vengeance game and endgame there's before we get to this is wanted to acknowledge. Of course, our big sponsor. Yep. Berman? Branding Becky Berman. Berman BCS dot com bourbon, CIs dot com. New been promoting her a lot. We ran in last week to someone who uses her please like outdoor. She's a remarkable graphic designer works on websites. Looks for small tweets if you need to do if you work for organising Asian on profit, you need somebody reach out to bourbon branding at Berman at C S dot com. Yeah. She designed our logo for bad to the dad the skull with the pipe the hat and the glasses. That was all Becky, she does a fabulous job. I've seen some of her other works. So you need. Graphic designer websites. She is the person to go to. And of course, we encourage you to follow us on social media. Our biggest campaign is on Instagram. It's to grab it's at bad to the dad checkout. Our guests information about our upcoming guests see how we promote doing it with the net. You know, we're we're having a good time. Talk about the hashtag has taken. Now, you have these little memes that comes out actually quoting our guests fills up the week. But it also provides a little bit more color and activity to the show that was just on or or will be on. And you'll see some information about Dave caney on Instagram. If you go there now, and of course, we have a website where you can see pictures inaction Sean seen us behind the say, it's bad to the dad dot com. There's also a merchandise store, and again, we've just released a new product, which is the key chain, which opened bottles and holds key and holds keys. I'm going to do a QB's QVC style of it is product number one four zero zero one. There's only about four minutes left to buy this special discount today. Well, yeah, we're going to sell it today today only, but every other day is well for three dollars three dollars not gonna be able to get a key ching. This problem within four fifty now know especially like dollars, and here's what we're going to do what do you to do? We're going to take one dollar for dollar per dollar. And we're going to donate it to a men's health charity, mental health, you're not just any health charity, and then health charity meant, but we talk about to stickler cancer in in your favorite body, part that only men have. And that is where mar donate the money the ball, Kansas. Yes. So our besties with testings testes with the dusty just came up with that. Yes. I'm gonna Pat myself on the back, but now I've torn my rotator cuff so now we got to donate rotator cuff about our show or in the fly S. We have our moments. We have of course, later represent will have the dad vice we will have other pieces speaking of dad's. Have your kids ever become sick before with like just a common cold or anything could anything? Oh, sure right now, Eddie dad, mom who's ever experienced this because there's nothing worse than your kid being sick. And as a dad, I think ribbon handicapped. Because you know, you look at your kid, and you know, my youngest had one hundred two point four. Tampa. Oh, wow. Which is pretty high for for a ten year old kid or in the tub with ice. You know, we get there. We gave her some, you know, the thing I want to talk about is the medicine experience. So we have a full pharmacy upstairs. But yet still doesn't seem to complete. And so you have to go out to get the medicine and the truth is there's not many places. But fortunately, they have some twenty four hour stores that are opening. So you as the dad? Yup. Because it's the dad's job because moms with you know, your kid riding the comfort in snuggling. Yeah. And so you have the twenty four hour place, and you go and you get there. But the question is what do you buy? What are you by what do you buy in? I I don't know because I don't want to buy the wrong one. So you have zero s going back to the store if you get the wrong one and as a kid, you don't get the adults over you take a pill options. Yes, they have different flavors. They have bubble gum. They have great. They have their Eric. You have brands. When my wife be upset with me. 'cause I spent an extra dollar fifty ran the brand is I don't want to mess up. And then of course, you have the chew of bills and the of the dissolve Ables. Yeah. And the truth is, I don't know about your kids. They like to take medicine they preferred not to prefer not had their way. But if they if they had to take medicine, they prefer bef- labored, it flavored delicious dying sugar. They take it right away. Yeah. Because we we enforce it. Now, they're doing a shot the whole idea of watching my kids like. Medicine is you know, as infants I I didn't mind giving medicine when they were babies because you just took the syringe and he. Mouth, and it's not well to a ten year old kid. You can't let you take the syringe enforce them. And so really it's up to them. Now, we as parents know, medicines gonna do what? Hopefully, make them better make them feel better. Right. And the taste of medicine to them doesn't taste great. Now. Do you? Remember what it was like for us to take medicine, you're younger. Yes. There is a song by Mary Poppins, take a spoonful of sugar and medicine go down because why did you teaspoon of sugar because of medicine tastes like after it was so bad. Yeah. Who like you say, you don't understand how great medicine taste nothing. Compared to like, peppermint, interpret, whatever it was. But remember that penicillin wasn't bubble gum. That's for. Sure. Give almost gagging. The memory of that. So we we got liquid and we got we got the Chewable now the liquid my Bree, we give her the dosage, which is fifteen milliliters, and she just takes little sips those little sips. That's a little sip syllable sips, and we're we're constantly going. If you just drank it, it'd be over with. No, she did takes let's sips for like a half an hour to get her a flight. They do it. The brewers flays it so put a little in each one. So my wife got love, right? She she just goes crazy. She just snaps because breeze just not taking the medicines street medicine if you took the medicine it would be over with redone. It's a constant battle of wit of which you can't control. So then we decided, you know, we're not gonna use the liquid. Let's do the you Ables. Right. And so she took a Chewable gagged on it didn't like it so much and at one point we gave her some other kind of combination to a pool with some kind of liquid. Oh, came back projectile the whole thing. And again, we know as adults at the medicine is going to help you and she's looking at she's feeling bad. She's lost boys. She's got a fever. So I figured out the trick. I'm listening ready. Okay. All right. It took me the oldest is twenty four. So it's taken me a few years to figure out how it is. So what you do if you take chewables, and you know, the mint julep. Yup. Right. Every big very big around this time of the year hockey derby coming so you take the two Ables, and you mash them and you match them till like it's like a dust. Okay. So we're freebasing children's medicine shit match. Right. And you grab applesauce right? How we can medicine to the dog this this week. So this does applesauce and you take the the Chewable, and he put it in the applesauce. And then you mix it up now mind you if can handle applesauce being like a green. Color was seem to be too bad. You know, what she did laughed it up? Oh, she liked. It liked it. Did she ask for more loved it? Well, it done and seconds. You just data fide right there in that moment. And I thought to myself tell bear in Thailand, the JJ that this is this is how you do it. So it's a here's here's the funny part that goes on night. I think maybe if they just sold this dust, right? I think it'd be a so much better deal. Forget about pills forget liquid smash up. We'll teach them how to snorter you might as well. Right. All too well round. So was the purpose. Yes. She would tie in next week's podcast will be more of an intervention interview. So so then, of course, we're sitting at dinner and briefly a better she's inning, a company Little's, and she says daddy was great daddy. Right. That's you. That's me. Daddy crushed the chew mobile medicine. And he put an applesauce. Daddy was so good. He made it so much easier for me to to take the medicine now mind you I'm feeling pretty proud. Lemme own that moment, right. That's a dad moment. Give me credit now. No, I can't own that credit. Do you know why who gets credit for that? Mom, and mom can't just sit back there and say, hey, you know, I'll let him have his glory. She goes. Ooh. Where do you think? Daddy, got the idea from is that right? Is that right? And is that true? That is under percent true. And got the idea to to get your little that's still well. So here's Nirmal customer. So here's the thing. Brees said what jetty said it was his idea. And I'm like okay now, I'm under the bus. Now. Why can't I have those moments will then she tries to backtrack and realize just crushed the fact that I could have been here in the moment, which you said, well, I told daddy do the chew bulls that he could crunch up and put an applesauce. And I said, well, here's the deal. You gave me the idea right now. He didn't tell me how to do it until the mechanism so mechanism crushing. You're crushing up an oral solid. I could've crushed up a little bit. I could a little a little pebbles whatever it is. I c I I'm the one you turn it into dust. So I said if you know in the in the industry, we call that granulation. So you granulated. Children's hill. It's my feelings of whose idea was the applesauce. It was it was my wife's okay? Then. Yeah. At the end of the story here. I just I just wanted to be a dad you make my kids, and it just goes back to the point the dads are useless. What we do. I told you not even at the top. It's up to almost number one. And even in the moment when I when I can take that moment of glory and people feel proud that took care of my daughter and medicine mom steps into say. No, let you here's what I'll give you credit for you were the guy in the dark of night. Yes. Went out to the twenty four hour pharmacy. Yes. Right. And and so this is why I want to bring the story back. This is where I always struggle because I'm on that guy that out. Yes. To the drugstore, and you feel like the clock is ticking one hundred two fever. Points. Five seven one eighty like a radio station. So time is of the essence, but it's really not this and you're in the aisle. Yes. And like you said you see all the variety generic versus brand. And you're looking at all the boxes thinking. All right. She's got a cough. But does she have a runny nose runny nose? This one's only for call. Once decongested was for calms spectrum expect you for like, thirty five cents more. I could get the all in. But I don't wanna get the all because I might be too much as much what do I do here? And what isn't expect an after? All I don't know what expecter, and it doesn't tell you an expecter in what it's supposed to be just a fancy name. You don't expect during is right? You're expecting it loosens the mucus from the lungs and why they call it the loosener wet call inspectors, that's not a scientific turn. We're shocked up. I said granulation. These are companies need to just the science of their what's DM. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I know what this guy PM PM, we get DM and then there's other dis. Yes. Yeah. So I'm saying there was like a DS. It's like it's like buying a Mercedes. Absolutely ex. You got the top the lifetime Robitussin top like medicine. Yeah. So yeah. So in that regard. I the time back in is you just don't know which one to get top shelf the middle shelf, and it's like alcohol, whatever it might be. But still I could not do it on my own and do without as long as you're not buying all these medicines like aged eighteen years, it's not like buying scotch recipe. In terms of your for your greatness, and your hair, you're balding. Great story. We're glad to the debt. Bad to the dad with coach Randy and Adam de follow us on social media Instagram, of course, at bad to the debt and our website bad to the Dan dot com. Let's introduce our guest Dave's Dave caning. They welcome. How are you? Dave. I'm I'm awesome. Thanks for having me. I have a nickname for this studio yet. I just call basement stupid. We seem to have a nickname for everything. You're kind of went immediately thought to myself that they have me in the den. A very bad thing to have. Yeah. Not a man cave because that's where the TV. So this is a professional recording studio, but you wanna give it that image of being, homey. And you know in someone's living space give it the called the den, that's my recommendation tell you I think our job is done. Dave, thanks for being your taste very much record time. We joe. Well to the debt I can't if I get out quick, I'm thinking of memes already imposed. Them to the dead. If I leave you with anything let that be it. Well, that is great. I fill the debt miam-. It has that then densch kind of way about it. So all right. The dentist is. Yeah. Tell Becky Berman to work graphic off we go. Dave awesome to see it. It's been a while. So for the listeners benefit, David. I went to college together at Hofstra. And we were college colleagues, and that we were both in the campus media, and with Hoster television and W R H U US news and world reports number one radio station in the land. Actually, I called you a friend. But if you wanna go colleague, that's fine friend slash friend, and colleague and all around all God's yet. Yeah. It we reminisced a little bit about our common time after we didn't talk too much before. Yeah. Dave. So you did the broadcasting thing. Yes. Now, you're an acting. Yes. Ellis about that transition and the how and why you got an that's fun. Yeah. Well, I was thinking about this. I think the last time you, and I talked on the phone may have been at that pivot point where I became an actor the truth is when I was a kid I would do don't to the city I drove on Long Island. So I was at access to the city, my parents with sometimes bring me into additions, and I did a couple of minor jobs when I was a kid, and then I turned twelve and became very awkward. Hard to imagine this guy right in front of you. This this bastion of smoothness of smoothing to own L from male. I put if you say so. That is being truth. Thank you coach. I was lucky enough to go to high school that had a great theater program. So I had that background and we did plays and stuff like that. And I had an everyday acting class. So I I had a very good foundation as an actor from educational sampling. But I didn't pursue. I did some stuff at Hofstra. But I didn't do a lot of it by convince myself that because I kind of look like this just a little bit younger when I was eighteen there was not a market for me to be an actor. And I convinced myself that it'd be Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise or all that stuff. But I have to you do have a face for radio. I gotta tell you always earners favor. Appreciate that very much bringing the bushveld style. That's pretty good. The bill. So I had totally put it out of my mind that I could be an actor. I didn't pursue in college. And I didn't pursue it. In my early twenties. I just got bounced around a lot. I went from broadcasting to production of commercials. And I was on the fringe of it all the time. And and I worked for USA networks, but as a writer for a websites, and I did things that weren't accurate lated, but sort of acting adjacent I guess, you could say acting ish acting and Finally I got laid off from that job at USA networks and started to look for another job. And I was I had moved in with my now wife in queens, and I couldn't get arrested. I literally tried to get a job delivered newspapers couldn't do it. And it was that. I think it was you, and I spoke about a job that you were doing that was maybe hiring. And I think that conversation stuck with me because I think that was maybe one of the last conversations I had public relations or something I nine eleven to. Yeah. It was just after nine eleven so yeah, it was not a good environment for getting new work anyway. And. When I looked at my life. And I said, you know, what what's the most fun part of any job I ever had. And it's the interview I loved interviewing loved it. The worst part of any job I ever had was always the first day because unless it was a job like working in radio or now working as an actor. It took me about fifteen minutes to realize I'm not gonna stay doing this very long. They walk around the tour. And there's this is the lunchroom. This is where you'll sit you love the hunt. I love the Honda. I you're right. Do love. That's a really good way. Put it. I loved the interview process. And I said, you know, what if it's going to suck this bad to get a job? I want to go after jobs, then I'm gonna love once I get them. And I went back to my roots. And I said, you know, what I always wanted to do this. Why did I tell myself? I couldn't I wanna be creative on wanna be in that sort of. And you know, I can be professional interview. And that's basically what additioning is is going in putting your best would forward charming him pretending like, you know, what you're doing and pretending you're somebody else. Right because it's acting it. Yeah. That layer on top of it. But yet generally, I mean, this is a whole different. Part of conversation. But I also happen to go to a seminar that was run by sandy sherline her acting school. And they said some that really hit home with me, which is you are enough. You by yourself are enough. You don't have to be Tom Cruise. You don't have to be Brad Pitt. You're not to anybody else. You go in there. And you you've UB you sell yourself. And it's like, whoa. Yeah. Okay. I can go in there, and I can be me or whatever version of me fits what they need. And that's enough. So big breaks, you know, from from my vantage point. You know, I I saw your big break as the Wendy's commercial. Davis. One of these like, I know that guy we're seen that guy. And he keeps popping up in these shows where you keep saying, I know that guy. Yeah. For me, I happen to no, Dave, you know, a little more than than most people. But it was a Wendy's commercial. You're sitting there with your kids. And the fact that day was in a commercial where even as an actor. He had kids might whoa. We are crossing threshold now or different part of our lives. Kids throw watching baseball, and I guess Wendy's had these hamburgers a single the double in. Any way to manufacture more cholesterol in your body Wendy's healthy fast? And well, if you're if you're doing comparison Chattan do worse than the other gentleman. Podcast or not represent me. Or my willingness sure is how represent Wendy's. The see. Or my ability to work for them in the future. The big break though for Wendy's. The Wendy's commercial that catapults, you know, it's it's when you put it that way because I still your I been doing this since two thousand two. Fulltime acting pursuit. And so that's almost like seventeen years and good for you to be honest. I think the idea of the big break is kind of behind. Beyond what I think is reality in the business. Yes, there are people who get plucked off the street put in a situation, but more often than not everybody who you are now being introduced to on TV for the first time. Who's like? Oh, wow. They're so good more often than not they have been working at it for ten fifteen years. So the first job, I got was awesome. It didn't pay any money, but it got me in the door. So that was a big break. You know, that was validation that okay? Somebody wants to put me in the show. What was that was that chip? I I wanna say the verse real honest to guide good show that I did was on the radio radio, which was at the two thousand two New York fringe festival not too many people were in it or involved. But I can't say that I have friends to this day who I worked with on that show. And and it was the first time I got written up and just like on a website. And it was like, wow. Okay. Is this is letting me know there's something and that. Led me to ultimately fining agents that I worked with who put me out fraud dishes for commercials, and I did a series of promos on ESPN that was like, oh, well that felt like a big break. And I from here, it's like smooth sailing. Yeah. And that was awesome. But but that was a non union job, which means it didn't pay nearly as well as a union smooth sailing was really smooth sailing. Never. It's never smooth sailing. That's what that's what. I think defines this career not more than any other. But but definitely defines this career is that it's never consistent. It's never smooth. It's always I'm always in a state of being out of work. But the thing is when they pay me they're paying me for days where I'm not working and the in the struggle to get more work, and the and the hustle and the and the time you spend not getting paid. That's what they're paying before. When they asked me to actually work. I would do that for free. It's when you are they're being paid to do this ridiculous stuff that I sometimes paid to do. It's like a vacation. So every time I get work. It's a big break. But. Every time. I think it's a big break. It's like, okay. Hold on their pal. You know, this is the here's some here's some humility. Remember that that you're only good as your last job? Right. Yeah. So you had been successful landing really good gigs on really good popular TV shows. So David can be seen in marvelous. Mrs Mazel Mazel, not Meisel Mazel as the Americans American blue bloods. And speaking of getting your escaped, I was watching your Demel realize you play a lot of roles where you get your ass kicked. Somebody somebody told me like my absolute. I guess mill you as a performer is just getting dumped on entirely, and I'm on all take that you know, that Disney a career that lesson next forty years. I'll take it. You know, I love being able to do things that are outside my comfort zone. I love playing an absolute dick. That's awesome to do is that really acting for you know, no, I can vouch that it is. It's a stretch. I mean, people might argue. But no, no. I mean, I love I love the opportunity to play something because in normal life. You don't get to yell things that people that are just completely mean? But in in an environment where that there's that layer of I'm not playing me, you're not playing you. I can yell mean things, Hugh, and you're not going to be destroyed or upset or anything like that. But to be honest, if they're looking for somebody who is the guy who is the other product, I'm a good candidate. I was gonna prepare to be a dick in playing that episode and playing that character. That's a great question. I guess it depends on the scenario. But I mean, I've no lots of Dixon. Drawing some of the best role models you've seen. Yeah. I did a fire the character that you when identifies being that was a person that taught me how to be a dick. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. It's independent kind of dick. We're talking about, you know, one of my wife's favorite things I ever did was where I was just a complete the the character was called the monster. And I based it completely on a guy used to work for who was just a monster. And it was it was really really fun. And when you can do something like that. And really get yourself into a character. And then you meet people and related to the show or afterwards. And they realized that's not you there like that was like. I've had experiences where and it's happened. A few times where the show will end and everybody will congregate somewhere afterwards to be near you. No, no, no. No, thank you. That's not true. The they just tell them we're going home to see. The foreign. There's such a thing as cast party. Anyway. So. So with the everybody congregate somewhere afterwards. And you know, you'd start to meet people say, oh, hey, how are you? Oh, I'm friends with the guy in the show. I was like, okay. Yeah. What what how do, you know on the show as like, I I was in it. No. That's the best compliment ever. You were acting and also not bad person playing a real big. They don't remember. They can't relate the fact that I'm that guy who's playing that thing. But more often than not the parts that are more like Dave are the ones that that. I'm most successful with. And it says a lot about me, and I have to be okay with that. You know? That's a nice range. You you work for that guy. Yeah. And seek the gift he gave you owe the road as gave the gift of being able to play that role. Yeah. Yeah. And I think just being naturally observational about Abel's little tics, and quirks and their motivations and things. Like that in retrospect ended up being really good study for me as an actor because yet can steal. I mean, it's somebody else said that it's acting is just the art of stealing from everybody borrow I think it's stealing. Back giving giving I'm paying the back with interest of my performance. Paying it forward. It's right. That's right. I'm giving the gift of them to the world the world. Yes. You do have a family. Yes. You've got show. Yeah. So now, you're seeing the paradigm. We talk about you, professionally let you promotes. Now, we talk them the secrets out don't look behind the curtain. Well, fortunately, we don't have a curtain. So it's always open the dead in the debt newly minted Gabi quarter. Anytime somebody says whether you tell you about our dinner anybody's dead dead. Exactly jill's works. Yeah. So you've got you've got tells a little bit about your kids. My kids are awesome. You know, it we could talk all day about anything. I'd done in theater, and it will compare it to being a dad. I'm shamelessly proud. Very gratified feeling very accomplished for having done at father. And I have a ten year old daughter named Carolina and a six year. Oh, he just turned seven cheese seven year old son, Jack, he knows I know, and they're they're awesome. And for every other professional goal ever had it dwarfs what I wanted to do as a person, and it is an adult nets to have a family, and I couldn't have asked for better. Are they into theater to Mike daughter is we can talk about my dad day yesterday because I think it's fitting, but she actually has the acting bug. She's like your dad, she's a character. But she's she's really very very very outgoing very comfortable on stage, ridiculously comfortable. So last night she had her she entered a to show run of any where. Yes, she she played four parts, which is just like your dad wasn't a one man show. No. Although man, I was watching I was going. This will be hilarious one, man. Or one man film, just any. Yeah. Rosen. Cranston Guilderstern stern only the really boring moments. Numbers of any just doing the laundry. That's sleeping in her bed walking, sandy house yielded. The Truman show. That's funny. I'll see you tomorrow. Till tomorrow. It's from any. I was wasn't connect. We're we're we're very. That's tiffany. That's right. It was very good because you're on Truman ups you, but it's all the time. Probably call that a co back a callback is right. And and I call that missing. The mark. Okay. Yeah. And you know, so running any for your daughter, and this this was where this was in Ridgewood, New Jersey. Okay. And it was a theater program. They do a great job. It's called. Oh, jeez. Sage right. I was going to call it that theater program in the Ridgewood. No, no. It's stage. Right productions I wanna give them a little shout out because they did a great job. Some really talented kids who were in an and Carolina had a blast. And it was it gives me a chance to talk about the the dad part of life where yesterday the day started where I took the kids to help my dad with his garage sale. And so it started seven thirty drove it took as an half hour to get there helped my dad get set up with his garage sale. We we set them all up with tables and everything at a couple hours into it. I had to take my son to a birthday party. Now. Meanwhile, my wife was running doing a five K run impressive in and of itself. Because I think I've run five k total for what one room to the other. Cumulatively over the years. Yes. So she picked up my son brought him there. I took her from the garage sale. Home to get her ready for the performance to her to the venue, where the performance was then she said, I can't find my skirt. So we had to then run a by her skirt too big to wear in the show. So, and then we went to dinner, and then we got some donuts, and then we all collapsed because it was that kind of day. But that's I mean, that's what we do know sports is often ice-cream don't it's is to theater. No, I scream theater. Okay. This was we're all exhausted and ice cream would take too long. Let's just. Celebrate with donuts. Yeah. They were exalting and for two days. She basically wasn't home. And it was you know, just just exhaustive family there. Watching Friday night. We had my dad came. I sister came my niece game a bunch of her three for friends. Actually, three friends came throughout the weekend. So yeah, we have a lot of we both my wife, and I my son we all went to both performances. So yeah, I mean, it was it was a great to be able to support her and do stuff like that. Because that's how my parents were with me. They were very supportive when I did shows. So I wanna say data. I need some advice here. Can you help me out? And she say don't talk to because you know, I'm I'm also her coach in different sports now. So for me, there's a worry that you know, she going to be like Dala dad shut up. You don't know. She's very cultural. And I'm very impressed when she is she gets a little bit frustrated sometimes, but it helps me be a better dad slash coach to know what works in dozen by using her sort of litmus test. So she she can be very as much as patient with me as I am with her. Sometimes. As she gets a little bit older. She can sometimes go to I I don't wanna talk about anyone, you know, it's like that kind of thing. But she, you know, my son on the other hand, I was his baseball coach last year for the first time he was playing baseball for the first time and the kindergartner, and we ask them if you wanted to go back and play this year, and he said is daddy going to be the coach. So I like that isn't has to be the coach if you wanna play baseball will just back away, and I'll I'll just watch. And he's like, okay, then I'll play so. Yeah. Or few know it was both. So the the leak handed me and said, they're really short on the coaches. Would you be willing to do? And I said, well, the only reason I didn't is because my son didn't want me to coach. And they said, well, here's what you can do to help the situation. Like, it wasn't like you have to coach. But it was like let us help you help on. So I said all right. I'll do it. I'll just have a talk with them. And it's a Jack. I know you didn't want me to be your coaches here. But the the league really needs some help. And they really wanted me to be an assistant to help out the coach that you're gonna have this year. He goes, all right. Why don't you? But no debate. This could have been months ago. We figure this out. Yeah. That's about kids. Now, when you think about, you know, you're acting TV dad's movie dads. When you think about the kind of dad, you know, who who you base your data on its, you know, that's a really good quiet isn't talking to somebody yesterday who was saying, you know, in most TV shows dads are made out to be buffoons. They go out. They work and they make the daily bread they come back, and but they just get dumped on and they show their inability to understand the mechanisms of the house because they're being brilliant outside the house. I think that's totally true. And maybe that speaks to a bigger problem in in just our development as a society is that we value stupidity so much as entertainment and politically also, but it's going to sound so and so like savvy, but it's no base. I based my being a dad on my own dead. You know, I he he was you know, the he did it. He did as perfect. A job as any dad could. And I want to emulate that as best I can huxtable that's the problem. So it hunt site. I'm glad I had a great role model because disappointing would it be? See that wasn't realistic. I didn't want to be a dad who was in a suit all the time. You know, Celik is a for what? That's not a comedy. That's a drama. You were doing a callback. And I was thinking who in magnum PI. Why sure to? Friends. I I I need to wake up. Yeah. Yeah. And to be honest. My dad was as close to cliff huxtable. I was I we saw the debt right down to the sweaters was a thing for me. And I I mean, I'll I'll say it. Now. I Bill Cosby was a hero of mine. But thank God. I didn't base my entire life idolizing somebody who ends up being credibly disappointed as Ersan. So I look at my dad, and like I say, I don't ever recall a single day when my dad told me anything but truth, I don't think he ever the truth even the truth heard. Yeah. I mean, I think I mean, unless you count lies of a mission, which you know, I mean, why would he tell me about, you know, small details are important to a kid, but he never ultimately told a line. And that to me is very very important. And that's the biggest thing. I teach my kids is that, you know. Hey, you spend your entire life building reputational telling the truth. It takes one line to mess. It all up get that. Trust back is. A dad? So you you enjoy being Adere. It's the best thing ever. Yeah. I mean, I if I had to give up one child or. Coin. No one I'd give up the career. Of course, if I gave him the career, I have no money, and where the kids so it really wouldn't work out too. Well, but I know I I love being a dad, and it's it's it's it's my gift to the world to help bring to really cool people in the world and your wife. What is your push would house? He involved your family. Does she does? She have you. The kids kids always have that over you. Yeah. Yeah. They were inside me. She doesn't Lord. No, no. What are you got? No. She does not Lord that over on the to her ending unending credit, but she's runner. She is a runner, and she she's she's in far better shape than I am. She actually got a degree in theater and pursued a little bit professionally out of school, but she somebody who absolutely needs to -bility. So she needs structure and routine and she thrives on that. So speaking of making excellent points, we have a segment on our show wrap up. The interview tool it's called dad, vice dead by and you've been driving. That or have you heard that before? So you've been dropping some dad vice throughout the interview, but whether you want to pull it all together, or if you have something you haven't shared before Homa. Yeah. Some what are some words of wisdom or what's a mantra or maximum that that you've used in your own parenting experience that you'd like to share with all the dad listeners out there. All right. So I I I'm gonna do that pay it forward thing and tied into us because this came from a fellow Hofstra. Grad getting Josie to- who I had done a student film for when I was at Hofstra that he some fifteen years later, finally actually produced, and he a viewing Ford in the city was really cool. And I got to receive a lot of people. I hadn't seen a longtime at hotter. But when he finally put the film together, it was before I had kids and then. Then I found out we were gonna have kids and I talked him on the phone. He said something that was stuck with me. And I share this with everybody who I find out is going to have a baby is that it's going to be hard. There's no doubt about it adjusting to life. As a parent is something you can't replicate in any way, shape or form. It's just gonna be difficult. You're gonna lose a lot of sleep. They're going to be completely confused about what's happening. You're gonna get tons of advice that you don't know what to do with in your brain is going to be spending. And then one day you're going to turn around you'll go. Oh, I know what I'm doing. Spontaneously? It'll just be automatic. They've you've got this. And you don't know when it's gonna happen. You can't predict it. But you will get that moment. And when you do it all gets easier it only gets easier. So that's my advice. Little Clemson little trumped up on. Stuff to write this down. Maybe some day. We'll write this down. Absolutely Dave t- Canaan after comedian even talking about his the Mesalla. We talk about Merrick. We come back a little Mazo. Yes. This is fun. I'm sleeping. And it does pull out this cat, right? So I don't know what kind of this is. Yes. Right. Yeah. Bad in the okay. So so so speaking of which we're can we see you next miss you more Mays L or not not unless they asked me to come back. There's always hope thankful head not. I don't know the spoiler. I did not die in in. The the marvelous MRs Mazel on like some other didn't just all of a sudden all I know that haven't been the battle of the bastards. No. Well, that's where I'll be soon. I'm going to be sit in front of the watching that battle winter fed. I'm kidding. Everybody's talking about it. Yeah. And and three weeks from now, this is going to seem like the most dated. Anyway, throws fans Ernest Aljic. All over again. Now, the funny thing about my career and sorta rabbit of this way is that technology is changing so much. It used to be where if you did a TV show it aired on one night. And then maybe it ran a second time reruns. But if you didn't catch it either time, you didn't see it. But the benefit was you knew it was a popular show. Everybody was watching it that night. So the first time I did something that anybody on TV, boom, tons of comments about it. Then in their phone calls tax, whatever messages were having on. This was pre Facebook probably so early nineties early no house utterly thousand early two thousand emails and stuff like that. And it would be this big boom of things happening at once. And now I'll have people come up to me sprinkled out throughout the year about something. I did six years ago. So when I say there's nothing coming up on promoting. You may see me tomorrow in something. And I don't know what Lula's sit syndication we're gonna see there. Or on the words. Go back. Go back watch shows. Yeah. I love that. When they say, I was binge-watching great show. And there's Dave it's like that puts me in really, good company devil. One of my favorite shows on Netflix marvel vehicles then in punisher. The lawyer. I'll tell you real quick about that. So that scene was shot in one of the new World Trade Center buildings, and it was really high up there. Beautiful scenery. And all that stuff and beauty this huge. Huge. What do you call those things? We're groom or compensate. Yeah. And it was all just like pristine the buildings brand new and stuff, then I'll smell, right? Yeah. I was I was ready to just go and everything was awesome. And I'm sitting there and suddenly my throat starts to close because the guy the old man, I shouldn't say that the older gentleman who was playing old man was wearing a wool sweater. So I had like what you're seeing. There was me having pain special might face. But mostly because I was having trouble breathing berry logic to which resi so the the old older gentlemen, referring to he was your client. Right. Yes. Yes. And if I remember the episode correctly, he? Had some sort of physical ailment got from, you know, working in a factory or. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I can't remember exactly going up against the mega firm right right now with a lot of money and a lot of lawyers, and that is the Mack Matt Murdock character was working at a flashback. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. I mean that guy had a like a pretend oxygen masks that he was wearing one of those things that sticks in your news. I they're in need. Or guest bed to the dead this week. Dave t- caning catch him in a binge-watching weekend or Merican major job. And then bloods and Google, Dave. And find out where he is. And you know, your life will be fulfilled after you've seen his entire real. I don't mind well residual sometimes people go residual. Page. Painted the veggies awesome. Great senior. Hey, thanks for having the most fun. Then I've been in all. Me too. We are bad to the dad. Download us wherever you find podcasts. We are bad to the dad with coach Randy and Adam de another great show in the can one of my good friend, actor comedian podcast, or Mr. Dave Canuk, all around great guy being hit a voice. I mean, everything I gotta tell you leaving the dead. I think so. I'll eat calling this place a name. I think we have to say we're bad of that coming to you from the debt or maybe something like that. I like about it is in kind of pairs nicely with our logo, the the skull the skull, and our names kind of looks like a bourbon bottle and the den sounds like a place where maybe dudes go to drink Perv entering bourbon. And yes, talk about their dad nece or talk about their dad nece and talk about something else because they want to relax. I think each day each week. We're classing learning. Other ideas coming up the dad vises taken on almost a new life would zone. I think. Got something there. I think that's something. We're really helping people helping or guests, right? Yeah. Absolutely. We have maintained healthy marriages because the value of dads, and where the dentist comes from from the support of the mom learning learning so much from so many different people including ourselves and just having a good time doing it. And we are not done near nut done. Not by a shot. More coming into the month than me got more coming. I tell you next week. We have a good one. Yeah. Yeah. We've got to go and it's Cinco de Maya week, Cinco de Maya. And all about that. And so it's called Cinco de Padre. Okay. Could apply desk on y'all spaniel and have a dear friend Gary burger coming in. Yeah. So what's Gary burgers? Thank Gary is a director guidance. He's involved in school. And we're we're going all out for college selection. We're going out. He can't wait to come and talk about some of the stories. He gets in terms of parents and college. The Medlock episode was very very, and we really dug deep all of the not the ills of education, but the ills that parents bring yes to the education system, and how they manage it for their kid and actually Gary travels to these conferences around around the country all guide, it's cancers all dealing with the same kind of pieces, and we're gonna have fun. It's it's a celebration. He's a dead to he is dead do gap between is very very big meter. It's a fantastic story about between the two and how. He went his wife Audra is also an educator, and it'll be a fun time. Gary Gary's a funny guy. Yeah. Get Gary Gary is a funny guy and just was in contact him to looking forward. Tim. It'll be Cinco de Padre next week. Love it. I'll get my nachos. And get my some burrow ABC shots closet. Oh, yeah. Great idea some Coronas. Hey, so we do here on to the dad. Thanks, dads and have a great week.

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Season 2, Episode 13  Dadsgiving

Bad To The Dad

48:47 min | 1 year ago

Season 2, Episode 13 Dadsgiving

"If you're the kind of dad who was born to run but you're running on empty because you've been running with the devil. Then this is the podcast for you and it keeps you running. We are bad to the DAD. We are the podcast that celebrate suburban dad life his his name my good friend. That's coach Randy my name Hannity. Yes thank you. Thank you for supporting me in that introduction really are the towns of the show so we are the tally. Now you keep saying that we are the talent and also the town the listener the listener for making this thing happen. If it wasn't for the listener we would not be doing. This weekend is true. And we're getting our basis. Roy Oy are growing and you know how you know. We're doing something cool. We've told people on the last podcasts. This is our season finale. I WANNA be clear seasons. It's not series finale. Well it's like it's like what they do on TV. You come the fall and you kind of have that fall series ending Yup Zor season ending in the fall. Aw as we come forward. Because we're doing things differs. We did our first season. No cliffhangers no cliff on your we will be back but people have said was GONNA do for the next two months. Yes well go back and listen to your favorite episode. I did go back and download again and share them and share alike. I'm excited for our guest. Move our final episode of the season. His name is carrie parks. The episodes called Dad's giving and everybody loves a comeback story now. I think it's great as you've always done have always done with our guests laid it out perfectly ear your great storyteller. This is a great way to end our Second season I think everyone's GonNa carry first of all. He's just a really cool guidance. So we can thank Jessica marrone parks. Who Was Jessica Marine Parks? She is one of the business managers of tap into there. You have it. They tap into dot net. It's been a great partner. They have been providing us a platform in order to showcase. What's going on week to week on to the dead and and just said you know not being biased at all but my husband's a pretty cool guy and has a great story Donald? Alcoholism thank God. He's he's been in Sober talk about that now. He's into iron man competitions Guy Ironman the no. We already had a kamikaze. This this guy is the real deal guys the real deal and he runs Just finished in New York City Marathon Mexico Three kids five and under. So that's us back to the data out there. That's that's a marathon of a different kind and you know who is always running a marathon when it comes to graphic design and marketing coach. Living Guess It's other to my tongue. I think you're talking about becky. Becky Berman number nine dot com wine. Her up and off. She goes with your best in marketing. Like that little buddy with those batteries. She's going she keeps going. She's going throwing out more and more intelligent pieces more credible insight into the world. Ah Graphic design of web design and evidence. Already call rich outer. Tell her that. You're a bad dad listener too big fan. We have a key chain by the way that opens bottles and it opens doors granted. You put cheese on them and it has a logo the bad to the dad logo with our mascot bone. Daddy Daddy was designed by Becky Berman. So by a key great and the three dollars that you spend. We'll go to greg. Feick fights that of course the charity to raise awareness for and he life he fought last week gift of Life Bone Marrow Registry. He fought and It was trying to catch up with him this week. He had a really crazy week. Valiant value fight you in the Er it's always something with this guy is but we'll we'll catch up with them. We might do like a mini bonus episode after episode and loaded. That's a good tease. Yeah that's not not so it's possible we might study season. Might be the little bonus if they're good to the dad for the holiday. Apparently currently they enjoyed your singing last week. I heard so some some of our fans and listeners. Appreciate your singing well. There were dogs barking throughout the neighborhood. So at least at least is my fans are our four legged and people are approaching me. And I've done so shout out to Ashley She's listener. She's someone who Came into my class US She's a couple of tribesmen down in case she heard about our show and she asked for the shoutouts boom there she is Ashley listening. Welcome the fold and of course my class Down in my my minorities American class always listens. They always talk. They ask me about the show and I said well first of all BECKY BERMAN MHM and but why does it have the pipe. Had the the Brim and I always forget this. We've been doing this for so long. You know that we Kinda gave Becky the idea but we wanted was becky that came up with the with the hat with a suburban Dad's life and it's really her talents. Yeah the the pipe sort of the traditional data almost like the Nineteen Fifties Dad's But the skull gives a little bit of edge Harley Davidson Tattoo Parlor. So that's what we weren't with good week for you randy. Yes I had a lot. Dad's batted in. Oh Yeah I'll be sure to with me. Today is breeze birthday. Yes so She's double stick. She's eleven and we're actually not recording from the dental. They we are we know. We're we're recording from a room in my basement. Call Aden's brain as my eleven year old son ages into golf and drums. Yeah so we've got the drum set behind signed us. We've got the the golf set behind us all kinds of other toys that he no longer plays with. But I really feel like we're in a place that is a collection of stuff off represents everything that's going on in his brain and so we're not in the den. Were over here because at my house we have a ton of girls that have slept overnight. Mortal oh chaos it is it is It was her birthday party. My kids get one sleepover birthday party. This was ear to her friends. Were over vert and then of course. Michaela invited her friend over Emily and her dad listens to bad the dance. I gave her a key chain And then We we had a surprise visitor from Corey Burger who used to teach it Gold op ED. Corry and the kids went bananas when he shows up and so it was good week birthday. My daughter Brianna also got accepted. Divide at school which is like this leadership committee. Yes so to count von Kayla greats came out on a roll on a nice. That's high on this kid. Get Straight as that's high honor. It's it's unbelievable. Of course Alex is doing great work in hard outs in in Arizona and Jess She too so it was a very big data Lateral Dad's better than this week. Same here academically. The kids made the honor roll. Were so proud. They worked really really hard and taking new courses and I think I may have told you. Aden's taking Mandarin. That's right over Edison. Right I mean that's not just the language that obviously has different words and pronunciations has different Karen has he. Has He seen here to prevent you Mandarin. Yes No. He sang a hello. How are you saw mandarin part of me? Thinks he's making it. I I used to think too or it was like a youtube video that has stole that. Claims it's in Mandarin. It's just gibberish. Yes but I don't know With he also told some really. Good Your Momma jokes last night and one in particular that That really struck me was your Oh Mama is so ugly even Hello Kitty says goodbye. I don't know why it thought that was so funny. Hello Kitty walk away. That is kind of funny Perry of course she went to the Jonas Brothers concert at the eventual center on Friday. So bad to the dead moment actually bad to the family moment so Michelle my wife Aiden I son and we drive around in Newark. We part there. She's at the concert for three hours worth a restaurant next door waiting which ready to go to dinosaur barbeque. That's so good X.. Goodfeet it's also the most it's most convenient. I know it's also good shut down. It's really good unattended. How stressful waiting for a daughter to come out so I won't reversal? I'm like I'm like. Did they go on yet. Did they go. Ah Eight thirty thirty note not on yet. It's nine thirty. How were they not on yet? So finally I think nine thirty five. They went on eleven o'clock they emerged. Yes so let her first concert answer no no. She's she's been to quite a few first concert on her L. With her own. Yes plus in the proximity gear by not in the same building so not in the same. Did you friends. She went with her best yet. Best de la and they had a great time. Of course you know through social media discovered that there were other friends in the building laborers can't keep a secret can When you're at the Jonas brothers John and they're all back together again? We're so happy I I think there's something right in the world. We are recalibrating. We have we have come. I'm back together in terms of Jonas brothers. But here's my capstone on the week to the dad moment so Perry's GonNa Basketball tryouts are next week. Jeez Really Gung Ho about basketball asking ball now that she's in the high school I'm GonNa play for one of the high school teams so we went to work out that you wanted me to run through some some drills at the gym and as we're doing that that she says dad can I get a virginity rocks t-shirt. Oh have you seen these I am I it. Won't we live in a tell right now. There is a little bit of controversy over t-shirt that particular school. And so I think it's kind of transitioned over. I am familiar but I'm curious to hear your story so you know when you're a dad of a teenage girl absolutely or teenage boy teenage boy. Yes and you hear that your kid wants virginity rocks cert- you're you're sort of torn will deteriorate of course right okay thinking I love. The fact is is that my daughter thinks virginity any rocks. Yeah and it is a data teenage daughter. I think Virginia rocks at the state as a teenage boy. You think it's the same thing if you WANNA wear that shirt to thirty absolutely Virginia Rock. There's another part of me that says. Why are we advertising so I would use Epi while the public know? That is such an important thing but I. I don't know if I want my daughter walking around going over Jimmy. Rocks you know Jagger I would hope mad at Tagger yes I don't. I don't want my daughter or her friends wearing virginity media rocks shirts as a pack and then and they become a target. Well because we know that clearly in the world in which we live boys and young men and teenagers are civlian incapable of handling their sexual feelings and have no control which is why we have these codes. Were these girls. Can we dress certain ways because boys are simply an able to control control their thoughts and an immediate discretionary impulses towards girls percent correct. So here's the deal that we may sense sarcasm a little bit just. I smelled it. I think that was sarcasm archaism. There was something else that you brought to my house here. So here's the deal. I made with her. I said we're GONNA get a virginity rock shirt but dad is going to wear it really when the teenage boys come over and the door opens type of their they see the shirt. Hello I I want to know what your intentions I don't look at my t shirt You don't need a gun you don't need to show the gotten you just showed the shirt weaponized a shirt. We are bad to the debt. We are bad to the DAD. Remember you can follow us on Social Media Instagram. It's bad to the DAD. facebook forward slash bad to the DAD and our website is bad to the dad dot com where you can see pictures of coach Randy Randy and Adam de with our guests our guests this week with our theme. Being Dad's giving take on Thanksgiving is carrie parks carry. We are thrilled world to have you with us. Thanks so much for making the time. Welcome to INS brain and that It's going to be inside of the eleven year olds brain and brain looking forward to the show. Yeah what's what's Nice about Aden's brain. The Room right now is everything is standing still versus the real agents brain where it's grand central station on steroids now that my kids on steroids side just putting it out there. Let's talk a little bit about Carrie. First of all. You're rocking the mustache. Is this a movember thing movember. I cannot cannot wait for December. It's funny this mustache grows fast and furiously and looks good. Looks good on you though. Really what are the free bowl of soup I think I think he looks very sure in the movie caddyshack. We always have to throw in a movie so I'm trying to figure out you know what does I don't know if he he sort of looks like Looks like either a Golfer. He looks like the lead singer in one of these one of these hipbones of people village people. Yes I'M GONNA go porn star. But maybe he looks like the landlord INA porn now. No definitely the the Cowboy Village Pete. We'll put a poll up to the baggage cowardice carries parts. Look like but looks are raising money for men's health charities. We we have a friend that lives in town Perry. Yeah we're trying to get them on. There was a scheduling issue. That we've been doing for the last four years So a little creepy but now no actually honestly say this. I would say this but I mean right now it really looks good on you. Yeah not many folks can. There's no stashing Ashoka like no. I would not work with me. The sights down and I would say creepy little handlebars that would be that would be no. That is nice and you have nice teeth Yemen. I smile so yeah. We're having a moment here. I'm just letting them know. I mean if you want me to leave the room and this is a very impressive gas. We have here absolutely. This is our last episode of the season. So I mean not that we've had great. We've had great guests doesn't even need to be said we're finishing with a bang. Yeah finishing with the bank with with Carrie parks now We really have to thank Kerry for coming to agents bring today so early in the morning on a Sunday You're in Kalahari with with the young ones and you've got three kids five live under. You're at Kalahari with with Jessica Right. That's wonderful wife Jessica. Who's done so much for us with the With tap into but I can imagine your Kalahari even with two kids two young kids. That's like that's like playing zone defense. So what was that like being Kalahari this weekend. Which is the water park in the poconos? Having to basically cat heard your kids we. We opened up the hotel room door at six thirty. AM and finally reentered. He entered About three o'clock in the afternoon it was about the Apple Watch said twenty four thousand steps in between running rabbit around that had That place yeah so there with the the foreign five year old are two year old stay at home and we rocked out places pre behave no incidence. Now they're they're wild. How about the other guests though the million other people yes and it sounds like your? Your mom says I'm not worried about driving everyone else on my what the NFL. She's worried about you. Yeah so go to plus Kalahari which is known for its crowds. It's worth every Penny Doug. It was fun fun. Good Times pictures. Pictures Awesome picture. Yeah Yeah Yeah we get video Cima. I'll I'll post it on. Yeah Yeah those are those are magic move. Sakari brings a lot to the table. He's got a lot to offer the show. He's got a lot to offer. DADS I we say. Everybody loves a comeback story now carry. He's we're going to get into the whole. You know doing the iron man and you just ran. The marathon. Were excited to hear about that. But we also know that You you had a battle and you won your battle with alcoholism and everybody goes through stuff if you would. Can you kind of take us back to how all started and you know some of the the challenges that you face during that period sure. Yeah I I think like most fifteen sixteen year olds at least for me when when I was introduced to high school and partying and things like that you just you make a choice you want to sedan or or or or not and For me it was. It was an easy choice to fin out or want to fit in and have others. You know I WANNA included. You did you WANNA be accepted so Yeah you know drank like I think other normal kids. I did for for a long time and not nothing completely outrageous but You know I I had My parents got divorced. when you're in my freshman year college and it's not to to put anything really on on them or that moment anyway. I was at Monmouth University my freshman year in college and did an transferring out to Derozan and moved out to to be with all the Zona. I did yeah what School Mesa Community College South Mountain Community College and then Arizona State I graduated High School here in Jersey in nineteen ninety-three around that dates me. I'm forty Bro. Yeah yeah still younger than me. Yeah forty four years old I used to we had some friends that Right after high school entered into the military became like local local police officers. And we're like making babies at twenty three twenty four and on our way all the way to the bar that time however are now you know these guys are set to collect pension. Their kids are almost dumb. Ecology within their time to foreign and five year olds so how slightly different game. What was your dream? What did you would you want to do? New grew up I make money to tell you the truth. Yeah and I never really had any aspirations Professionally to tell you the truth. I I always ended a few friends growing up. One wanted to be a lawyer. She became a lawyer. You know Sixteen seventeen eighteen. I never really had that things both. I think academically and athletically came really easy to me from this morning. What sports in high school I I? You Know Football Football Basketball Baseball and played football in college and it county at Mama yes. There's a freshman Ashman there and then What was your position college? Cornerback Yeah Now Corp but the point I'm trying to make is that I I never really. We developed a work ethic. Truly things came. Naturally I was I was. I'm just born with some skill. You're that kind of that was it just came to naturally and and because of that you didn't have to work for something Because you could go out there you can run your sprints run your forty go back and be amazed without actually having to put even though you're putting effort into was never because you worked hard to get where you want it to get I got you and frankly this is this. Is You guys as mentioned that Had this history this story where we're telling here on one of the things that I went into alcoholics anonymous back on April April Eighth of two thousand and sixteen so three three and a half year. Forgive in recovery but The one thing that that I really Love about the program itself. That being alcoholics anonymous is that Within the twelve steps. Step for really makes you. You look honestly at yourself. So I can say having gone through that and going through daily reflection that I never really worked hard for much and and that really translated to professionally in those future years as I really thought that my my my muscle memory so to speak. I just kind of opened up doors. Let me in carry When did you decide to go into into a what was the moment where you say? Okay this has to stop and I I need help. Yeah so Jessica my wife and I and at that time we just had charleen Keegan Our oldest in middle and we were in Orlando Florida not at Disney and another kids specific resort. Anyway we just had a a private moment and even just thinking about like the what the stage look like at our resort in our our room You Know I. I'm just thinking about the kitchen and I had like two bottles of you know one bourbon and go to Bourbon was urban urban. Yeah the Brown. Yeah the Brown. Yeah Yeah and We we we had a moment there. Where a decision needed to be made on my part whether another man was going to raise my kids it's or or I was and so that was an easy decision for man and honestly I I've been kind of Screaming wing internally. For that moment I just had a a friend of mine here in town Kind of knowledge we reach the child and kind of worked with them. A little bit to get get acclimated and meet some of the folks that were so Instrumental in helping me this this town in this area amazing lottery sentences sobriety Some of the best people. I've I've ever math through the program. So yeah that's a sponsor now I know you sponsor i. I'm a sponsor of my children keeps you plenty busy Nash Financially. What does it kind of business? You run in the healthcare space. It's considered to be a managed care program. Okay Yeah so I. It's Super Niche. I worked directly. Happy with ambulatory surgery centers here in New Jersey. I essentially I fund. I helped them with accounts. Receivable loves specifically tied to any surgical implant than a surgeon utilized eisneramper seizure. There are high cost him Soleil. Total joints spinal getting harder and harder for physicians paid eight in Thailand decision surgery centers. Also Yeah uh-huh and how did you come to this particular area of expertise and business well. I started in healthcare with a company called striker. Four hundred million. Did you know that. Yeah we we pre-game before I got you the broadcast the him people. I'm trying to think if we were there at the same time time. When we would strike again I was with Stryker? From two thousand and four to two thousand six yet I started in two thousand eight. Yes so let's talk about your right leading life now. I know you just did the New York City. Marathon was at your first first marathon. Yes Oh how was that experience I first marathon is New York Marathon Refund New York City city I struggled I got I was really fortunate because fifty four thousand participants in this thing and I don't know exactly what what the figures are exactly but There's a small number of those fifty four slots that are application based as opposed to qualifiers. So I'm from what I've heard is that there's hundreds of thousands application me being one of them and sure enough on a lottery right. Yeah Yeah Yeah like February you worry ninth I believe i. I got the email that that I was accepted so I couldn't believe that's the universe that's Petersburg before it's really cool so I know you you had done ironman on. Did you like tough mudder. Any of these other endurance races. No tough maters get your cool. Yeah Yeah I know folks to do it Yeah well triathlons my triathlon. Yeah but it. But I know folks who've done triathlons and they've done maybe you know something Akin Kintu a marathon in another city and they run their first New York City. Marathon is just blows everything else away. It's a much different experience. What was it like for you? The largest spectator event in the world Almost mindsets I mean runners spectators. I I was I was one of them now. Living we city run every I run every day. Run from what your bedroom bathroom. The bathroom the bathroom back to the bed. I'd run downstairs right outside to get the the mail I back inside Olympic medal. I'd left running in my world so you're like a really yeah. You're a real runner. I became a an average runner. Free this event for show. I was not a real runner prior you know but I just I. It was interesting because when when I found out that I having been accepted my application me accepted. Who was truly like buy a lottery ticket that day because the chance the odds are are so much of a runner beforehand for him? No not not a long distance runner so you say no it. What do I have been? What what harm can it be all through my name in if if I get it up put out the energy? Whatever if I don't no harm no foul I wanted? I was feeling really good when I filled out the application. Yeah that's a lot of attractions attraction. That's true I I mean I. It was it was and and Randy goes cosmic. I think it was probably like this application kind of make sure this guy is in the race will attract whatever you're thinking about you bring about and that's how you enhance your life and it's part of the elements of the universe. And so here you could you have to think about knowing just just wakes up all morning just runs the New York Marathon. You just don't do. That was the whole road runner. Pro You know usually individuals who want this happened appearing this for some their entire life and they keep entering the lottery the lottery. They don't get it they and they want nothing more and they prep do half marathons they go every need meal whatever and heat now does and so here. Here's some good in your own mind. You're ready for new. ooh I trained for sub three hour and thirty minutes. Okay and I hit three forty five three hours. That's very oppressive. For your first it was called on eight and a half minute miles Yeah in and out of respect for all those people that have been applying applying. I I think I truly it motivated me just to kind of honor at least the spot right so I trained hard for sixteen we excel and You know oddly enough. My Training Program never got me above twenty two miles of running that program and sure enough. Mm Sunday November third. As soon as they got to twenty miles everybody was dealt at well. They also take when you when you do for that one. Is You build up to you. Don't do the full post nutrients supposed to go up to a certain amount but then you had an interesting impact trusted the program and I wouldn't say AH 'CAUSE I've spoken to a lot of people who are runners and then they consistently said that You know if you if you follow program. We'll get you up to that. Twenty six point two mile mark but but You should be fine in sure enough when I got there. I was really hoping that the vibe would would carry through to the finish insured and even I did. It's the overall market twenty two. And what happened Ish. You went the legs just really I mean you got another four miles of this this man you can look at my. My tracker split is Korean and then all of a sudden a metaphor miles yeah. He Likes K.. Three point nine mile. Hart's put three point eight miles. I went straight from eight minute miles to almost ten minute miles about into into can actually run that race. If you run that race and completed you can literally do anything that that might take a complete that is something that transforms more than just ready for sure. Yeah and that's intrigue me about about the the triathlon. An iron man's because I grew up watching that stuff and I mean you just look at these guys. Think about like you you know. I don't know if you've ever watched the race down in Hawaii on Conan. Yeah but I mean that's you know showed up for the swim a musical easy two and a half two and a half mile also. It's really easy to get bad. And twelve two and a half a mile swim with hundreds of other people potentially kicking you in the face of course all potentially absolute. I'm sure you've got got some pretty nasty competitors that do it on purpose to Pulling your legs western stay behind you so they can you wait. They got the bike. I mean come on. It's only about one hundred something miles on the bike. Hundred Twelve hundred twelve on a bike and you know if you love that little feeling between your legs in the garage as often as possible. That is that it's still a a pleasure that isn't pleasure and so you get the safe right and then you know what I'm GonNa do. I'M GONNA run a little bit just a few miles for some folks. This is their income. Right this is zero. Pr Guy. I gotTa Win these races. They gotTa Win. But you don't have your plan your your plates and law. You're not completing it. You get the you get the medal but but going back to the marathon and all the you know the sweat and intensity the painting your body aside did you have those moments we were just looking around and go on this pretty damn cool like you know. Those are landmarks that I'm familiar with and there are people that are just like me trying to make it in and get through this race. Where all in this together one thousand thousand percent it truly is just the most spectacular event that well not that I've done so many but To be in it both from from collecting my my bib. The Expo at the javits center to the pre-race You know when you're in your corrales. You're surrounded by the entire world and you hear the different languages being spoken. And just how excited everybody ideas and then boom. You're on the Verizon Bridge then twelve miles through through Brooklyn and it's it's the streets are lined all twenty six point two miles and it's It was really cool. I was one of those guys when I lived in Manhattan. That was cheering. Everyone else on reading their shirts screaming. Yeah go jerry. Go or Leyla France because you have a lot of people from from overseas. So I appreciate the role of the spectator in motivate health. In helping thing the runner in his hairy yeah getting from my my two mile. So thank you spectators and of course thank you run for inspiring the next generation of runners. WanNa go back to your family. Yes let's talk about the family about Dad. It is so bad it is about dads is talk about data so it's almost like you blinked and your family grew in a hurry so three five under what's life like in the in the parks household. What are some of the crazy things other than Kalahari and that was a snapshot The the the the waterpark. But you know I don't want to say what's an average daylight because I know there's no such thing but but what is life like for you guys. Yeah I mean it's it consistently starts at six. Am and I have a two year old that that just runs right up to me and no hugger anything. Just ask for vitamin so. That's that's how it starts. I get vitamins for the three boys. And then we're off to the races but now that Charlie is a kindergartener uh-huh Keegan's in in pre K.. It's you know I wake up and get those cats ready for school and you know. Spend the first hour and a half half two hours of the day with with those guys and then then I'm off to work but it's it's exciting you know An interesting role. Because you're a Adad taker. You know home taker home. Homemaker in terms of getting our kids ready you go off to work right and then you play an active role. It sounds like with your kids in terms of that. The Yeah I've been changed to our parents generation. I it is. It's interesting because you know we talked. talked a little bit about this in terms of the actual podcast itself. Might my my wife is. She's a special girl in a lot of ways and She's we talked about earlier. How I just kind of took A A natural course of action in terms of just let my my motor skills Get me through through life whereas my my wife is is driven. She's she's that person that She knows exactly what she wants to be. Getting value against. Yes good balance. Yeah yeah absolutely She she's a businesswoman and I I don't know I my I'M A. I'm very very maternal. I think and I enjoy actually Be With the kids of my wife doesn't but for me in terms of role reversals or just adjusting stink. It's that two comes fairly natural tournament though right I mean having boys yes. It's wild lifter laying Martha territory territory. Right yeah I couldn't even imagine having a little girl in the mix. I think we'll tell you we'll tell you a little bit about the rest of my past episodes got girls so that was our punishment for being teenage boy. So you've got you've got boys all their side and so it is it's Those ages you know still still changing diapers and having demands. I think our needs then. That are all different Having to meet those needs pretty consistent. Yeah it's it's happening. I think it's kind of Nice as though when you get older. And you'll you see your kids mature in other almost singing the lyrics to cats in the cradle. Yes but you can never say when you're older Boy I wish I would have spent a little bit more time with my kids. That's the beauty of the dynamic that you carry have in in your family with your wife. Is that your your present you now that I that is something that that I don't take for for granted I don't think I feel totally Louis. Blessed that I do have the opportunity. Both in the flexibility of my my professional my business to to be able to provide that for them so because I think it's important to what do you like to do something fun. You like to do with your voice. Yeah so we we live here in West Orange and were for in the There's all these different sections of West aren't but at the end of the day. We live at the base of Eagle Rock reservation You know and and yeah so the the boys You know one thing that that I that motivated motivated me to pursue some of the athletic endeavors like the the iron man and things like that was to set a little bit of an example before the kids that now in in this part of my life but they can actually physically see with their own. Is that with hard work. You can You know ride a bike for fifty six hundred twelve miles run a half good role Wiley behavioral marathon. What you can't whatever obstacles life give you With with the demise they can overcome physically for those of you not familiar with Eagle Rock reservation. You had hills you have trails. Yes I thought the county did a really marvelous job with that area Area adjacent to the zoo and we have a zoo. Yes with the reservoir with the playground Essex County second-to-none. Yeah Yeah it really paying in Fort Lee for sure but Judean those guys are. Yeah no we haven't also a lot of great diversity in terms of this town that so anyway we call it the dinosaur park mark up up at the reservation of all trails in the woods and stuff and the the four of us. Now that Harry our two year old Is He's he's a runner. We we literally go up there and quote unquote chased dinosaurs but just hit the trails and go for runs and stuff like that and Yeah we we belong over at lifetime fitness informed parks. We remember swim. screen pool. It's awesome so those are just a few of our convert things that that fewer favorite things that I would just bring a little music entertainment to the human. I thought you were going to sink cats in the cradle because because I teach up for that then you inaudible and now you're seeing sound of music well because he talked about us. We'll take care of this off law all right. Well we have your back actor dad buys. Let's go to DAD vice. Let's bring it on home. Intel core carry about our security. I know we have. This segment is one of our favorite segments. And it's called DAD vice and I think if you listen to all the podcast podcast. Every every dad has brought something different to the table. We need to write a book about all. These dad makes money off of. What a what a wonderful idea? They can make money off of all our guests if you wouldn't mind signing here that authorizes the use of your commentary now dead vices great because it you know it's information that's either specific to that had guests or it's just general advice right so I know that you again your history your life history brings a lot to the table and you could take this anyway like so so what. What are some things that you would like our dad listeners? To know what some would you have them on listeners and we do have other. Do we have a wide. But we know our demographic we are the people this is oh this is meant to be four dead. So if this of OFA Mama's listening didn't take listen. This debt gets it. They could share your dad. Vice is yeah I could definitely say that when we had our first Charlie Between the middle of the night feedings feedings and lack of sleep and still having to work in all of that. I've spoken to a lot of dads first-time first time. DADS who you know. Forget about themselves taking care of themselves. I would say this to any father Moving forward Be there for for your wife and your child through all of it especially your wife. However ver- don't forget about yourself make a little bit of time fifteen minutes during the day just to even stretch to breathe to meditate but my advice would be to stay fit stay healthy especially if you plan on having more children because because they all bring a bundle of energy into in into your life that Rather than playing defense all the time right thank God there is no better offense at a good defense find it opportune to try and be a step ahead To to be there for them so I would highly recommend Just trying to take care of yourself. Well no one thing. I've always remembered about kids kids at that age. They're like the Human Melatonin. You don't have to take any sleep AIDS and working with your kids for a full day. They'll they'll worry out. Carrie Parks Arcs. Was Our guest. Today was blind carrier at your an amazing guy. Please give our love to Jessica and thank you for putting us in touch She's been remarkable of course worse in giving us that platform to showcase bad to the dad but she is also a really good booker of guest list. Four four or five gas asked that she's given you doing you. You got she's doing you. I need competition. I need competition in order to make sure that my game is you always possible. Do do right well. Thank you for insulting me then. Praising you're the best drill sergeant. It wasn't so much. Insult was a matter of motivating technique. It's a good thing that this is our last episode of the season. We have been talking to. Yeah but I don't WanNa air our dirty laundry out in front of Kerri Gary thanks again. Have a great holiday season. Great Thanksgiving and hopefully we'll have you back on bad to the dead the not too distant future anytime after after Kona. They're older. Yeah love to hear love to hear Cohn now I appreciate you guys and what you what you're doing for for we measly dads out you know such thing. Even though we're not the most important job in might be ranked number five thousand. We are bad to the DAD. You can download US wherever you find. PODCASTS WE are bad to the dead with coach Randy and Adam de again. I want to thank carry parks for being our season. Finale guest I just a great all around guy with a really nice. Just chill kind of guy you want to hang out with. You know obviously very fits so maybe we'll see the picture of him. Clearly he is. He's he's got a really good sense of gas. And when we were booking him as a guest said you have some pictures I I can pose. Yeah onto at least an eight. And there's like pictures of him in a Speedo must just really goofy pictures and he sent them to me. He's like hey what don't WanNa scare the kids away but pack. Brighton is an amazing shape. I love hearing those stories where folks have to to make really tough life sciences in order to put themselves back on track. And he's he's doing it in the right way. He's got a Great Support System Jessica's and then of course slighty so of being able to understand the power of kids. I think the other piece when I also thought was nice how much he acknowledged the value of what we do here in bed with the Dad for Dads Dad reminds me actually do something. Even though he's sitting talk and Goof dads are people to you know people to. I don't know why I feel like this. Episode is like Randy Therapist. Well Randy is therapist episodes therapist. But if you know anybody who's going through Absolutely that's alcoholism or any kind of rehab or any kind of drug addiction. It is it is very hard as I the first and in particular men to admit they have a problem. It's not easy because we're taught to squash those feelings down. And if you're an athlete taught to fight through do I do a lot of work with athletes because the mindset is to runner you're supposed to squash that feeling down squash Ashdown squash down and then when when life happens. It's very hard to admit that I have a problem once you acknowledge it the constant the effort because every day is another day so I do have a tremendous empathy for individuals who who know that their biggest it's challenging. He is a quintessential product of being able to acknowledge with the wife. Who loves now having kids? And he's on top of a auto business which he's pretty successful. I've heard kids kids. Save Your Life. People are going through some like that. No plenty of people who've done that. Nothing like radically getting your life on track back by running iron men Iran and the nearest city marathon marathon. Right Colossal Fan. True people wait year after year after year after appeared to get that many people have running five ten fifteen years. Not Getting the ticket he goes in all in one. Dear gets lightning strikes. You and you know it will probably go back for more. The House finished and taking it seriously so thank you listeners. Again for joining us. Remember you can always go back and stream. The episodes shows the route. Just not just a rather season too but you know all thirty six episodes seasonally. We have in the could see how far we've come now. This we have we have grown. I'm really proud. You know I mean. I'm glad we had this time together although having to have a laugh and sing a song right but it's true okay. I'm GonNa have on that today but no it is. We're GONNA put number two. I like Alex New Philosophy Strategy. I think we did little altis that maybe just maybe our listeners might get a little a little drop of Greg fight. Texted me while we're talking to carry about. Possibly we doing a conversation station about holiday holiday episode. You know some kind of Just a little tries tactic and then beginning with uh next year. And you might. You might be wondering. When are you coming back? What are you gonNA have? I was just coach coach and I will talk about the weekend. That will come back and we'll probably be end of January January beginning of February. Kinda gets we're going to have on you first of all in general philosophy. We're looking great. DADS I already have some folks In the entertainment business we have musicians. We're GONNA have business owners. We're GONNA have more comedians on have entertaining guests but also a motivational additional speaker. Someone on the show that's awesome. We're getting a lot of requests. Now from dabs is what we want. We want to. We have some who Who I knew when they were kids now? There are a lawyer now they have a baby. And so we're GONNA have some new dads on the show so it is We continue to amaze us. I have to I tell you. I can't believe you've actually free time. We actually accomplish something and now we're just teasing it up just right and I think the reason why you want to start at the end of January because there's an annual events every year that begins at that time that season of the year and we call that it's a it's a big day. It's a big game going on. People get beginning February February super bowl. Yes so we are targeting to come back just in time for us to offer our two cents. Dad's worth of Super Bowl so give us a couple couple of months again. We're going to refresh the show talk a little bit about it. offline get our guests lined up for a great season. Three might be a shorter season then season one which was twenty three episodes and they were going to do this. Thirteen fourteen equal the number of total episodes. We this when you combine the two but we decided to Kinda condense dents it to make it more of a an invigorating piece. Randy's already referencing math so we know it is time to go listeners. Thanks so much for a great week have a great week. Have a great season as an and we'll be back at the end of January beginning of February keep an eye on social media and you'll find out what is happening for season three but thanks again keep streaming those episodes. So I think you're gonNA like going back. We are bad to the death.

DAD Dad Randy Randy alcoholism Kalahari Jessica High School New York City carrie parks Becky greg Ashley She Aden Arizona Becky Berman Jessica Marine Parks partner Jessica marrone