35 Burst results for "DAD"
19-year-old helicopter pilot helps put out wildfires in California
"Massive fires across California for weeks and now a 19 year old helicopter pilot has joined the fight. Actually, blame tells CBS News Flying has been in our family. You could say it's it's the family trade. My dad's been flying fires for close to 30 years Now, as soon as I got into flying, I knew that was gonna be one of my own goals was to get into firefighting. Flying as her dance. Copilot actually always made sure the water they were carrying hit its target. She's been flying since he was 13. And despite the adverse condition, she says, it's been a dream to help this summer, especially doing something she loves to Dio.
Wildfire smoke brings haze, vivid sunsets to East Coast
"And and smoke smoke from from the the West West Coast Coast wildfires wildfires has has drifted drifted all all the the way way to to the the East East Coast. Coast. ABC ABC is is Kaylee Kaylee Hartung Hartung reports. reports. Satellite Satellite images images show show the the massive massive smoke smoke clouds clouds from from the the record record breaking breaking wildfires wildfires spreading spreading all all the the way way to to New New York. York. Portland, Oregon is ground zero with the worst air quality of any major city in the world. The state handing out 250,000 in 95 masks. We're seeing a lot more people with productive cough. Dry cough, shortness of breath. A lot of those symptoms sounding like they overlap with Kogan 19. It's difficult to tell at first who has has Kogan Kogan 19 19 and and who who has has an an irritant irritant from from the the pollution. pollution. We're We're leaving leaving Thiss Thiss danger, danger, the the result result of of more more than than 70 70 fires fires raging raging in in 10 10 states. states. Destroying Destroying thousands thousands of of structures, structures, killing killing at at least least 27 27 people. people. In In the the last last week, week, Stories Stories of of tragedy tragedy Emerging Emerging 16 16 year year old old Josiah Josiah Williams Williams of of Barry Creek, California, died as he attempted to flee the fire quickly engulfing his hometown. His brother. Tried to get back up in there, Tio get him. His dad tried to get back up that narrow get him. It's not anybody's fault. These things happen, and it's horrible, Horrible, Millicent catamarans. It died in the same fire, her family devastated and grappling with agonizing uncertainty. Her sister Susan, one of dozens still missing in the West. A family waiting too long before trying to evacuate. What they didn't know is that there is a wall of flame moving at them and over 1000 yards an hour. They don't think they understood that the smoke is stagnant in the air, and there's no relief expected for a few more days. All this While there is the possibility again of high fire danger this
Apple reveals lower cost watch and updated iPad
"Maybe with the event's title, we should have known it would-be. Short. Tuesday's time flies event flew past at just over one hour, four pieces of hardware, basically, as well as new services and the services bundle we're focusing on hardware today. Surprising, absolutely, no one apple on Tuesday announced apple. Watch series sex running through the hardware. The S six system and package packs a new dual core processor based on the eighth thirteen bionic an iphone eleven it runs twenty percent faster than series five apps launch twenty percent faster. It's the first. Apple. Watch to include the you one ship, an ultra wideband antennas. The series six always on retina display is up to two point five times brighter outdoors than Apple Watch series five. Both the same all day eighteen hour battery life is before and can hit full charge in one point five hours. To features focused on during the devices introduction where the always on all tinder and the blood oxygen sensor. Not sure why always on is important for an intimidator unless you're worried about rock climbing in your sleep Apple says the always on ultimate provides real time elevation all day long by using a new more power efficient, barometric, ultimate her along with GPS and nearby Wi fi networks. This feature allows for the detection of small. Changes above ground level up and down to the measurement of one foot. And can be shown as a new watch face complication or workout metric. More life and death or the blood oxygen sensor and is associated APP. Apple says, series six measures the oxygen saturation of the users blood. So they can better understand their overall fitness and wellness. Oxygen saturation or S P o two represents the percentage of oxygen being carried by red blood cells from the lungs to the rest of the body and indicates how well this oxygenated blood is being delivered throughout the body. And how it works is really cool according to Apple's presentation. The sensors are basically checking the color of the blood as it passes by. That color indicates how oxygenated the blood is, which is free again. Amazing. Speaking of colors for the to apple watches I've owned I've chosen brushed aluminum. It's easy to match with just about anything. But if you have a signature color or don't care about matching or. Planned to have plenty of apple watches on hand to put on your wrist Apple Watch now comes in the couple of colorful colors. For. The first time says apple a new blue color. Silver Space Grey and gold aluminum case options along with the product Red Apple. Watch. With exclusive matching, bright red bands stainless steel models are now available and graphite and an updated classic Yellow Gold Color Apple. Watch edition is available in natural and space black titanium. Series six also says Sayonara to ceramic while apple didn't mention it during the event. A piece from macrumors says, that is no more. As is the way the arrival of new apple watches also meant the arrival of new bands. This time though whole new bands, not just new colors. Sport Band makes way for so loop. No clasp. No buckle. Solo Lupus a continuous end stretchable ban design that says comes into materials, soft silicone and braided yarn. Nine sizes for those. Apples supposed to have a size guide on its site. Checking Apple side it looks like Sport Band is just making room not seeding the field. Both sport? Band and Solo loop available to order as of now, there's also said to be a first of its kind leather link that wraps around the rest held in place with flexible molded magnets. Nikewatch gets everything we've talked about already plus a new Nike face and new colors for the Nike Sport Band and Nike Sport Loop. Same goes for Apple Watch air MAS- as far as improvements the hardware it's stainless steel cases come and silver or space black paired with single or Dubna, tour styles and an assortment of vibrant new colors. Now about the only thing predictions got wrong for Apple Watch as E was its name. leakers had thought that that was shorthand that it'd be called something simple like apple. Watch. Apple Watch S E is the budget chronometers name. Well mid range chronometer Apple Watch series three is the true budget model still out there selling for one hundred, ninety, nine bucks. An apples press release apple CEO Jeff Williams was quoted as saying Apple Watch S E combines elements of the series six design with the most essential features of Apple Watch, all at a more affordable price. No Blood Oxygen Sensor and no, always on display. It does sport the always on all temperature though because apple is taking this sleep climbing thing seriously. Looking at the hardware sports the same size displays as the Apple Watch series five. The S., five system and package and dual core processor deliver performance that's up to two times faster than the Apple Watch series three. The S. E. Packs the fives haptic feedback for the digital crown, and that speaks and here's what the latest speaker and microphone in the watch line. Apple says, watch as e features the same accelerometer gyroscope. altimeter as Apple Watch series six and with the latest motion centers and microphone. It offers robust health and safety capabilities including fall detection emergency, SOS, International Emergency, calling, and the noise. APP. Now, if you decide, the six time is the charm that you're finally ready to buy Apple Watch. The one you buy probably won't have a charger in the box Lisa Jackson vp of environment policy and social initiatives at apple appeared during Tuesday's event extolling the environmental virtues of apples timekeeper. Sometimes. Jackson said it's not what we make but what we don't make that counts. That he's from seeing that says that when she said that apple won't be including USB adapters with this week's watches. As putting them free in the box consumes resources and adds to apple's carbon footprint. Interestingly, people who can afford to buy a charger without giving it a thought. Won't have to do so. A separate piece on chargers Napa Watch from apple insiders as apple, watch, addition, and Apple Watch. Will include a five watt power adopter. Bloomberg's Mark Gherman Kinda cried foul over that on twitter. Quoting his tweet looks like the Apple Watch titanium and Armez model still have the power adapter. So the more expensive versions keep it. makes it seem like it's less of an environmental thing and more cost driven? I can get thinking that as an immediate reaction. Here's the thing though you gotta figure apple sells at a minimum hundreds of entry level apple watches for every single edition or. Sold. Probably thousands. So even though it looks like catering to the wealthy and yeah, there may be a bit of that. Even though it looks like catering to the wealthy dropping chargers, millions of people probably don't need. Might make an environmental difference. No I saw way more than one piece saying not including chargers with Apple Watch is just the beginning. While, it has been rumored that the next round of iphones will also arrived without a charger. Apple doesn't seem to a pulled the chargers from the ipads that are also coming out this week. We'll get to those in a bit. Want to get an Apple Watch for your kid but not give them an iphone worried that mom or dad may have a slip and fall or ended up seriously directionally challenged apple has a plan to watch the whole family. Selling points as far as apple's concerned with family setup, you can stay connected with family members without an iphone from making and receiving phone and facetime audio calls to sending and receiving messages and emails, and even connecting with other Apple Watch wearers over walkie talkie. Parents have the ability to approve all contacts. So kids can safely use the communication features of Apple Watch, according to the company. The activity rings experience has been optimized for kids according to Apple. Emergency SOS is being pushes the benefit though. Apple Watch already does that. And finally school time and downtime or front and Center for children while optimizations focused on health for older relatives take precedence at the other end of the spectrum. Now the news that will make family setup less useful for many. It requires cellular models, of Apple, watch series four or later or Apple Watch S E running watch os seven paired with iphone six s or later running IOS fourteen. Apple also said that kids and older family members of the household using family set up, we'll have their own phone number through a separate cellular plan. So, while you don't need to get GRANDPA and the kids their own phones, each cellular watch will come with a tone cellular plan and. Associated Bill. Family setup goes live today and so by the way does watch Os Savon. that. was kind of surprise more on that a bit later. With such an emphasis on the health, it's not overly surprising that the new Apple Watch Slash Watch Os Combo brings a few new health studies. macrumors runs those down starting with an asthma study being run in conjunction with the Insurance Company Anthem and the University of California, Irvine. Second the peace says Apple has tied up with university health network and the University of Toronto to learn more about how Apple Watch metrics including blood oxygen can be used to manage heart failure. Finally macrumors says apple is partnering with investors at the Seattle, flew study at faculty at the University of Washington School of Medicine to explore how changes in blood oxygen and heart rate can be early signals the onset of influenza and Kobe nineteen. The watches by the way are ready to order now. Those opened on. Tuesday, they'll ship on Friday in the US Puerto Rico twenty seven other countries and regions. Apple Watch series starts at three, hundred, ninety, nine dollars adding cellular adds another hundred. Bucks. Same goes for the Apple Watch Nike and Apple Watch Air Mas- that the prices run higher on the AMAS models. The new bands are also available to now they too will ship on. Friday the eighteenth of September. Though only in the US and fourteen other countries and regions. Porters are also underway for Apple Watch as E. It's got a starting price to seventy nine dollars. Interestingly, adding cellular to that one only adds fifty bucks raising the price to three twenty nine. It also ships this Friday and the US Puerto Rico And twenty seven other countries and
Should I ask my dad to invest in my business?
"Survey S Should I get my dad to invest in my business or should I ask him to invest my business? I say, I like to point out that it's good that you actually say invest. An investment means he's going to get a percentage of the company in return for the twenty thousand dollars you're looking for. And this is not a loan. This is not like loan me twenty grand and I'll pay you back. Your father will be a part of the company, Meaning Hill own part of it. It may not be a controlling stake, but he will own a good portion of it. especially the fact that you haven't started your company really doesn't have much value because. You don't have anything to show yet because you haven't sold the APP, you have made money from customers been made. Any revenue has showed any kind of traction to say, Hey, this company is worth X. amount of dollars right now is just the hopes that the just purely on the concept and the idea that you actually give him a return on investment. So the first thing I want to say that if you're going to approach her dad for investment, you have to seem as an investor and not your dad, which means you getting to present him the business just like you see presenting on shark tank right and what does the first thing they ask on shark tank all The sharks to ask the same question. Every time somebody does a presentation to go through the whole presentation things like that. The first question they ask is how many units have you sold? How many sales have you made a money Jimmy revenue they want to know do people actually want while you're selling the market value this product because the investor that's all they really care about this. This thing have legs have the potential to grow. Their opinion really doesn't matter. It's the market's opinion that matters. So you're not in that position right now where you can actually give numbers and proved that people want what you have, and that means you need to give up more equity to get the money. So think about the value of your company right now it doesn't really have much value because you're not selling anything you know have nothing in your hands it you don't have anything created, but what will it be in the future If it somewhat successful, it's really hard for you to tell because you don't have any data. But even if you say in two years, the company is going to be worth one, hundred, thousand dollars. In order for an investor to want to make money, they're to want to at least double their money. Okay. That means they won't forty thousand dollars in return for their investment of twenty thousand dollars. That means they're going to at least forty percent of the company. If you're uncomfortable with all of this, then my advice us a try to bootstrap your business much as possible you some of your savings grow as you can think of the minimal viable version of your APPs. You can get idea validation for a skin product market fit get some customers. Make some revenue see this has legs first before you actually try to raise capital because it's a lot easier to raise the money. When you have a working product when you have sales when you have customers, we can say, hey, people like this you know and it's making money and here my projections. But right now you don't have any of that data. So. If you're willing to part with, you know a big percentage of your company. Then go ahead and get an investment from your father and doesn't matter if your father anybody else that is an option if you're willing to part ways with that large chunk of percentage whatever that is if you still feel like you, WanNa bootstrap you WANNA raise some. Money try to see if you really need twenty grand how much is the bare minimum you need to star this thing to have it off the ground maybe it's not twenty maybe it's ten years, five thousand dollars and five thousand dollars can be earned right. You can actually hold off on launching this product and save five grand after a few months. Of living a little frugally. If you absolutely have to take alone five thousand dollars is a whole lot better than twenty in terms of what you're gonNA pay an interest. But if you do want approach your father and you feel like you'd like to have a part of the business. There's nothing wrong with mixing family with business as long as it's clear expectations are what everybody's getting in the deal. You don't want any sour grapes later on, you want people to feel like that. They got what they asked for what they they knew they were getting into. This is why it's important for you to be open and honest with your dad if you're going to approach him and as well as pitched to him as if he was an investor, you have to convince him that your product. Your APP actually has the potential with any data you can gather even if it surveys even if it's a market research, even if it's just simple as. Hey My APP is in this market and the potential in this market is X. amount of dollars of revenue year is how big the pie is, how much money that can be made who are the big players in that market who your competitors and how you going to compete with them. These are some things that you can really explore and display and present to anybody who's interested in investing, including your father and all this time wasted you're actually investing. Some, really good time and learning a whole lot about the market. You're about to enter
Family of Carole Baskin's missing husband runs ad in "DWTS"
"I'm Linda when don Luis's daughters and we miss our dad as big cat rescues Carol Basket made her debut last night on ABC is Dancing with the stars. Members of former husband Don Luis's family appeared in a commercial asking for information about his 1997 disappearance Story has been fueled by the Netflix TV show. Tiger King attorney John Phillips says the family just wants the truth. Somebody knows Maura about dons last hours on Earth. And you should care about what happened to it. We all should care. And we should all help solve this cold case last night show Baskin Dance to you guessed it. I have the tiger.
Lego to use paper bags in its boxed sets
"Stop using plastic bags inside of its boxed sets will be replaced by paper bag Starting next year. The bags were used to hold all those loose bricks that mom and dad usually find with their bare feet. The company says the plastic bags will be completely gone in the next five years from the Lego sets. 11
A Conversation With Maria Hinojosa And Lulu Garcia-Navarro
"The one and only Monday. Joins, me now welcome Lulu. It's it's such a pleasure. I. It is such a pleasure to have you on and to read this book it's called once I was you and it is based around the story. Of how you came to the United States for the first time, tell us that story. Yeah. Well, it's an interesting story. I didn't actually know it like a lot of us. We don't actually ask our parents. So how exactly did I know that you came for example, my whole family we were born in Mexico my dad MPC go of us in Mexico City and dad gets hired by the University of Chicago. He's a medical doctor dedicated to research and long story short he helps to create the cochlear implant. He was an amazing human being. May He rest in peace? So that was in Chicago and my mom, and the four of us kids I was the baby in her arms get on a plane. It's the early nineteen. Sixty's we fly from Mexico City to Dallas and change planes in Dallas, and then we're GONNA fly onto Chicago and. When I finally found out the story when I wrote raising, which is a Motherhood Memoir that I wrote like twenty years ago. You know I found out that there was this whole thing that happened at the airport and that an immigration agent was like you know saying that had some weird skin thing and you know maybe had to put me in quarantine and my mom was like Nah and then I came and I saved the no she didn't say it like this but basically, it was like me Ma Ma Ma you know. She's five feet tall by the way, but stood up and. Know had this kind of moment with immigration agent and and it was a story that I told. Kind of like saying, wow, my mom is such a cool woman like I understand where I get my powerful voice even though she's tiny, she spoke back to an immigration agent. and. Then in the writing of this book, blue is really what happens is that I really understand what was happening there. There were trying to separate you from your mother. They basically told your mom that they were GonNa, take you away and put you in quarantine quote unquote and that she was free to go with her other children but that you would have to stay behind I mean. Can you imagine like? When my mom called me in the midst of and you know Lou that I've been covering this story, the entirety, my career immigration writ. Large. And my mom calls me at the airport. I was flying from one back when we were flying around and in the midst of the height of babies being put into cages, we were hearing the voices. You know we knew this was happening. This is not. This not begin with the trump administration but anyway. Mom. Calls me and she's crying she's like is Gay It could have been me. If I'm a your she was like that was I could have been one of those moms and I swear to Lulu that. By heart dropped I was like Oh. My God. So it's not a story of like my mom. Eh, you know speaking back it's a realized now a story of trauma and that. Wouldn't have happened I think had I not written the book and had the horror of immigration policies becomes so. Crystal. Clear. So inhumane so hurtful and frankly now finally so public You. As you mentioned what brought to Chicago, which is where you grew up, but you always maintained your connection to Mexico and your roots you'd go back and forth. You came here on a green card. When did you become a citizen? I asked this simply because that transition of becoming. An American you said was difficult for you. You. You found it hard to sort of occupy these two spaces. So, it was great because in the writing of the book, I actually had to like do the time line and and then I had to go back and find my citizenship. It was a actually I had just come back from a reporting trip with Scott Simon Scott and I were down inside whether it was December of Nineteen eighty-nine Lau Offensive Little Trenton Webb the FMLN offensive the guerilla warfare was happening inside word and I went down to produce Scott. And I came back and just a few days later I took the oath. Look the reason why it was complicated was because way back then maybe now I am beginning to understand maybe it was because of that traumatic experience in Airport in Dallas I, always kind of new. Like this isn't a certain thing for you. This thing about you being able to come in and out of the United States you've done your whole life. Now. You're a woman you're a journalist you've been to Cuba. You've got you've been tool Salvador you. You know. There may be a time when they say you can't come back and I understood that and so I have to be honest as I am the memoir he was motivated in large part by fear that that my green card could be taken away and that I could not be allowed and this was before this whole conversation of like what's happening now you know this was way before it was a different time but I think I kind of I, kind of knew it. So the thing that happens when you become a citizen in this country is you have to raise your right hand and you have to swear that you will bear arms for this country. And people who are born in this country like my own kids haven't had to do that. When you have to do that you take this thing really seriously you know like the Constitution and the bill of rights and you know all like you take it really seriously, and I think that's why because the book is certainly it's about immigration, but it's also about like my. My struggle for democracy and being seen as a journalist taken seriously to be that's all a part of democracy and it just becomes I mean I was living with a green card I was I was definitely understanding my role as a participant. But when you raise that right hand, it's at a whole
Making Peace with Your Family
"Their feud has been brewing since childhood last year during a family trip things got so bad. They came to actual blows. Their father had to pull them apart bobby and robin our sisters but they barely speak Robin says the sound of bobbies voice makes her sick Nicole they're younger sister Peter. Their little brothers say enough is enough the Cole Road to us in hopes that we could help bring her sisters back together. Father Peter. Senior is also here. If, you have conflicts within your family and let me just say who doesn't this show. We'll give you a whole new way to deal with them. It could save you years and years of pain Mark Brian says, he wrote this book codes of Love How to rethink your family and remake your life because he used to hate his own family he stayed away from them for over ten years throughout the show mark is going to be telling us how he changed all that and how you can too. So we're not here just to have because you know you can watch one of those other shows where people, chairs and Viewed as they bring out surprise family members, you haven't seen in a long time. That's not what we're GONNA. Do we're here to try to resolve it and for the millions of you who are also separated from your family to try to bring back some sense of coat of love that you once had memories of that earlier this week mark heard both sides of this family feud starting with Bobby Nicole and Peter. At Different Times Robin has stopped speaking to each of us that she has low self esteem and. She whenever argument comes up she says to me that I I think I'm better than everybody else and that I'm a goody goody and. And this type of staff. Which of course, upsets me last week I went for lunch with Robin and a few of our cousins, the bridesmaids kind of thing for Robin's wedding to discuss things and I just felt that bobby should have been involved with that. That would have been you know more of A. Total package I'm to the point now where it's like okay. You. Go ahead and behave that way. Not. Going to let it bug me. I have tried to contact her and she has my number blocked. She has your number blocked live in the country can't do that on my phone. So I don't have a number of locked and I have an answering machine and I've never had any messages about. Mark spent time with Robin to hear her version. I've always felt like the black sheep. Always felt like. Fingers always point to that me. I always felt like troublemaker. I've been accused of being over emotional. I've been accused of being. sleazy. have been accused of being slutty. I've been accused of. Basically, everything out there. in particular with my sister Bobby. I. I. Always felt compared to her. I always felt like I had to live up to. My parents, expectations. Of the expectations that she set? What are the three happiest moments of your life. They don't include family. Or? My parents were there when my daughter was born. Thought was one of the happiest moments midlife. My Dad was there when I graduated I. Guess that was another happy moment. The, day I moved out with the happiest moment of my life. And I honestly, truly with all my heart believe that was the best thing ever did because I've come so far sets. If you could go back in time, what would you change? I would I would change. I would put myself with the different family. But you can't do that down. So mark says there four basic steps to help you refrain reconnect with your family and they are I remember what are the good things? So many times in today's psychology we're looking at the bad things. My parents do that messed me up I, WanNa look back at what's the pleasant things were the strengths and the and the love and the loyalty that I've been given for these two, five fifty how old we are those years? The second one is we want to reflect on that. We want to see what's my part in this dynamic in my family when am I at fault and also I don't want to end the blame and the labeling you know. She's the black sheep she's the she's the goody two shoes she's been labeled to by other members of her family is the goody two shoes we want to be out of those labels. So we want to reflect on that what are part is and what's the larger picture of our family? labeled. Early, you just sort of follow that pattern absolutely. Yes. Yes. I have never told Robin she slutty. I've never used those words that she used on her. I'm always careful I don't offend with what I say and ever since we're very young, robin has done things on purpose. she just says whatever she wants whether it hurts your feelings or not. So the slutty thing but those terms that you're using those are not terms that she used or is that what you think she thinks of you. Okay. It might have been another family member but everybody was sitting there and it was them against me and that's how it was portrayed. But. Then again, sitting up here, acting like she's a goody two shoes I wouldn't be here if we didn't have problems. You know who? Didn't cause all my family's problems. We're not here just because of me and you know what? I don't even think there's a lot of family problems here beyond some role definition and the next thing we're going to do is we're going to take a look and refrain these experiences from this. New Perspective. Where we learned where each of us is trying to show concern, but it's being misconstrued as criticism or. As control.
Distributed In Memory Processing And Streaming With Hazelcast
"You hear about all these different data management platforms that talk about these things but Hazel casts advantage is around in memory and in memory isn't a new concept it's been around for a while but there have been some limitations about what it can do in the past and some of these limitations are being mitigated so that in memory speeds are opening up to more and more companies and Hazel cast was founded a little more than ten years ago actually in. Turkey by a couple of very smart engineers and they came to Silicon Valley to start his cast as a former company, and it was all about in memory computing, and so the first product was the I M D product which stands for the in memory data grit. So very much like a database, but a bit more capabilities in terms of distributed computing ways to simplify building applications that could be spread across multiple nodes in a cluster and thus enable paralyzation much more simply and so from the early roots. It was all about trying to get applications that ran faster, but at the same time maintaining some of these enterprise qualities like security and reliability and availability. So ensuring that you're not getting speed at any cost but getting the right amount of speed that you need to address your use cases while also protecting your data and with added on stream processing since and we have a set of technologies that work extremely well together and are fitting in quite well with some types of use cases that people are building today. and. You mentioned that it's not being built at the expense of some of the reliability durability guarantees that you might care about is particularly if you're working on mission critical applications so I'm wondering if you can dig a bit more into some of the benefits and the potential trade offs of in memory compute particularly for data intensive workouts and things that are going to be operating on stateful sets of operations. You have the benefits of computing have largely to do with the fact that you have fast access to data stored in memory, and so I've heard some people say that this notion of in memory computation or in memory processing is redundant. When in fact, if you think about it, the processing isn't done in memory. The processing is done in the CPU or these days increasingly more in the GP and the in memory simply means that all of the data is stored within memory and not necessarily spilled out to disk, and so when you have a system that's designed to optimize that pattern where you have all your data in. Memory that means that you can get fast access to a lot of fast processing and be able to deliver on some of these use cases that have very narrow windows for service level agreements. So you get performance the same time when you have fastest, you need to incorporate some of the typical characteristics of a distributed system like replication in a variety of ways and you need to have consistent replication. So we've after doing some research, some competitive research we've seen at least one technology where at certain levels of throughput, it pauses some of the replication to be able to handle the throughput and so most people won't notice it but. It's one of those things that if you're not watching, then you could potentially have a big problem when your dad isn't replicated and notes go down and you get failures then you might see a lot of unexpected data loss when you thought that all of the data protection capabilities were in place but for us, we don't make those trade offs when we run our benchmark. So we say here's what you get in a true production environment in terms of performance, and you can be sure that we keep everything retained for business news that you would expect, and certainly some of the trade offs are pretty clear if people from there. With these, it's mostly about how much daddy can store. So you wouldn't use Hazel cast as your say your system of record for Peta Bytes of data we're talking more about operational data where you want to process it very quickly. So things like payment processing or fraud detection are good cases where you might have a good amount of data in memory as a cup, but also have the engine processing in parallel and being able to use that data in it almost transient way. So it's it's data that persisted somewhere else, but we put it into our engines so that we can have those very stringent, very data intensive workloads running. My understanding is that the actual implementation is as a library that can be embedded
Andrew Gillum says he identifies as bisexual in TV interview with Tamron Hall
"Politician Andrew Gillum making news today, six months after entering rehab and his first televised interview since it was found in a Miami hotel room with a male escort, who was suspected of overdosing on crystal math. Gillam was speaking with my friend Tamron Hall on her show this morning and to be very honest with you when you didn't ask the question. You put it out. There is whether or not identify as gay and the answer is I don't identify as gay, but I do identify as bisexual. And that is something that I have never shared publicly before. The 41 year old father of three, also denied using math and says he had gotten too drunk at a wedding. Earlier in the day. Days later, he announced that he was going into rehab for depression, which he says led to alcohol abuse. Gillom called it a wake up call, having witnessed his own dad suffer from alcoholism.
The Lifequake Survival Guide With Bruce Feiler
"All right well, nice to see you. Thanks for doing this my pleasure. Thank you for having. What how would you describe the the thesis of this book? Debating whether I should start right with a thesis or tell you how I came to the pieces. So. I think I'll do the second way because. I didn't go into this project with pieces, but a big linking pieces showed up halfway through. So what happened what led me into this? Somebody's what this book is. About is how we deal with these big wrenching changes in our lives back hallway light quake. And like what we're in now. And I got interested in these because I went through a life quake some years ago as you know, I I got cancer as a new TAB. About was that same year as the great recession and my family was hit very hard. And then my dad who has Parkinson's Lost Control of his mind. This was a man who was never a depressed admitted his life. And he tried to take his life. Times in twelve weeks. And this was kind of a big crisis. In every way, you can have a crisis, the conversations that we had to have. unhabitable eye like difficult conversations and these were difficult conversations that were impossible to have. But I'm the story guy and I'm the meaning guy in one morning on Monday morning I woke up and I said, well, your idea like what if I send my data question because my dad was always a bit of a storyteller. And I sent question like what toys did you play with a kid? Couldn't move his fingers at this point Dan. But he thought about it all week he dictated his answer to Syria who spit it out he began to edit it in at work and so I. Also another one like dummy balance you grumpy. And This went on essentially every Monday morning for what became years. Up. The. Hatch Become Eagle Scout. How'd you join the Navy how you meet mom and this man who had never written anything longer than three sentence memo in his life back into writing a fifty thousand word. And I got very interested in times of crisis in our lives like it. It's a narrative event in some way and it turns out there's a whole field narrative gerontology. There's all field of narrative adolescence, narrative medicine and kind of storytelling becoming kind of thing that people talked about at that time and so what happened and you know this makes me think of your own life and how you ended up in this conversation is when I began to tell the story to people everybody had a similar story. My wife had a headache and went to the hospital and died my daughter tried to kill herself. I. had nervous breakdown on my television in your case and and I thought well, no one else to tell their story anymore and. Let me see what I can figure out because people were saying like the life I'm living is not the life I expect like I'm living life out of order in some way. And I call my wife one night and I said. I got to figure out how to help. And I don't know I'm going GonNa find and I don't know how to do it but I feel compelled to do this and so I set out on this journey. What became Three four years crisscrossing the country collecting what became hundreds of life stories of Americans all ages all walks of life all fifty states and you name it damn. People lost homes, lost limbs, changed careers, genders, Religions got. Sober got a bad marriages. And at the end of it, I had it was powerful, but it was too much. I had six thousand pages of. Transcripts a thousand hours of interviews and I ended up doing something. I've never done thirty years of writing books. I got a whole team of people and we spent a year coating these. Combing through them debating I'm kind of beating one against the head trying to figure out. What was the big message? What was the big theme coming out of it?
I Have $50,000 Left Over From College Scholarships
"In the lobby of Ramsey Solutions Jona joins us for the question John Holliman. Ramsey thank you very much for taking my question. Sure what's up? So in a little over week, I'm going to be starting my college experience and I'm in a very fortunate position to where I'm receiving hundred thousand dollars towards my college cost Lloyd ago. Thank you however through a number of merit aid scholarships that four year total is going to be about fifty thousand meaning the residual is kind of up there and that's my question is. In the four years that I'm in college. What should what should I do with that fifty thousand that remains Where you going to school that? Ole Miss Bonus or what are you studying chemical engineering with a potential double major in Mandarin Chinese of course. Goodness. Gracious. Wow smoke. That's fun well. Here's the thing. Joni you. The amount of money you can make investing fifty thousand. Pales. In. Comparison. To What The To to what your degree is worth. In the marketplace, so you are a better investment. than. Mutual Fund is. Now granted. We don't need that fifty thousand and we don't think for you to graduate. Now, without debt but if the merit scholarships dropped for some reason, this fifty thousand sitting there not invested Is or not trapped in something is worth more as an insurance policy on you getting through school without that then than any amount of money would make. So let's say it may ten percent Sharon cry so you'd make five thousand bucks. And you. So you'd make in four years you make twenty grand correct, which isn't spit compared to what you're going to be making absolute. Be My. Hope. I think that's fairly predictable with you. Sir. So the You know what you could make on. That is not as good as making sure you get through debt free. So if you WanNa just park it in a mutual fund or a money market account you can if you wanted to put it in a low risk, low volatility, mutual fund or some kind that's fine but you could still lose some of it. I would not put it into retirement account I would not put it into a super long term thing because then you're going to be tempted if you get squeezed to borrow instead of using that money. And again, you're the magic sauce not investing. Investing long-term become the magic sauce, but it'll come from your income that you're going to create. So pretty incredible situation you got yourself into. This is neat. Your Mom and dad did a great job obviously without much merit scholarships you did a great job. So those are academics a lot of them. Yes yeah. Okay. Very cool. So what is the deal with the Mandarin Chinese you want to go on the mission field or something? No. So That's actually through a federally funded program at Ole Miss this a flagship. Mandarin Program, and so I've studied Chinese since middle school and it just so happens that as I was searching for college that program popped up and I was able to go there, visit them at a really good impression and. It seems as if they had a good impression of me. So but I mean, you didn't have there wasn't like mixing that with the chemical engineering and some way that you had a certain goal. It's just you've enjoyed the language exactly Oh. Okay. All right. That makes that makes sense. I thought maybe the two together we're taking somewhere. I didn't know what you were doing. Okay. Might might be international business of some kind but Wow and what a great language to know in today's world. Absolutely. So very cool. Why Shop Guy Man thanks for coming by.
The Oregon Fires
"Latino Rebels Radio Latino. Rebels. Radio Julia Regard Novella here in in Sunday September thirteenth twenty twenty and we are back and you're listening to us on audio boom stitcher, spotify apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. We've been following the situation in the West regarding these historic wildfires. The images are just tragic, and actually I have a guest in Oregon Nydia Alycia who reached out and said I want to talk about the situation and you're on Hello Nadya. Hey Thank you so much for having me and for giving me an opportunity to share a little bit about what's going on I'm doing the does the I can be in. The worst. nightmare that don't ever wish on anybody right now. So Why don't you just break it down because obviously people see the images, the hear the voices by this is your opportunity to this is your mic tell me your situation what's going on how whatever you WANNA share. What's going on in Oregon? It's been really disheartening to see some of these. You know this is a tragedy. By all means this is a nightmare, but I also just want to share that our community even though we've been the most impacted. We are also like incredibly resilient. So many of the families that I've seen my relatives my best friends family anytime. I've checked in with people that I know I grew up here I was born and here. You. Know are people are so concerned about other people you know even though there are folks right now families who are staying at their relatives or co workers or friends, and it's like fifteen people two bedroom they're still you know like, Oh, I'm really just worried about the people who haven't found a place to stay. So I've been seeing how our local news has taken pictures of some of our folks in. A really vulnerable situation in the middle of all this heartbreak there's so much resilience in so much power. The community is coming together to lead it beautiful efforts for people on. There is so much power in our unity right now in terms of like. Checking in on each other. because. You know when these things happen, it's the direct people on the ground who weren't as impacted. It's the WHO's folks it's I mean it's hard for me because my my dad lost everything. My Mom's home is still standing even though orders, but it's on us. That's the quickest way we're going to be able to make it out of this when you call your house when you call your cousins when you call your neighbor, you just check up on each other and that's the way I've seen a lot of our people get access to food get access to close. The happened at three PM. And thank God even though this is like the worst thing an entire town burning down at three entire towns being severely destroyed by these fires. Thank God. It happened at three in the morning when you know folks are sleeping or at seven pm runs home from work. Because this, all happened in a blink of an eye it was within three to four hours. This fire went from Ashland to talent to Phoenix to Medford like I said, my mom lives in talent and my dad lived or his residence is in Phoenix in from you know checking on each other is like i. i saw the smoke, it eleven intolerant and the like. Yeah. I didn't get the call until one before we talk about your situation and others tell me a little bit about the community I. Mean that people don't know about yeah I mean who that's that question brings tears to my eyes 'cause. were community of be Natal's of a scene laws of now we would call them mighty needles 'cause there's all the ham `bout here. I'll the grapes we're just hardworking people man my folks got. In the late eighties, early nineties following the harvest from California You know once they were done. My mom got here when she was done. Picking Strawberries and she heard about pairs in southern Ohio and had an anti who had come. Sooner and my dad, you know was picking Liz in new? Mexico. about the beans out here and My Dad has planted over twelve million trees in the Pacific northwest like are people are so embedded in this landscape in the food, we produce in the beautiful mountains that you see those are all planted by our arkady that. we have make status community Some folks. Like myself, my mom and dad were undocumented when I was a child and I was a citizen in my mom eventually became a citizen. My Dad is. has his residency. So like a we have different kinds of. Legal status is which also be barrier for some of us in terms of having adjust recovery out of this disaster. But Overall, like this is what the hardest thing for me is is that I don't know a single family in in our community that has that was not impacted by this we're tightening We have some families here that You know that you've got the mom and then you have the kids we have like three generations of families here already. And we all know the you know the big lessons that family so and so make it. Okay. All will that family one lost everything others. Okay. So that's also been one of the reasons why are people have we've been able to you know figure it out a little easier because we do have we do rely on each other and like we do, we do count with each other support you know simply Say Yoga Nisa seat thou. At buckeyes and your Kiekens say you know were were just were just helping help. We're just helping each other to do our best making out of this right now
Changing the Narrative with Rita Bautista
"K.. Brita hello welcome to come on Bama. How are you? I'm doing great. Thanks so much for having me today. I'm excited we've been talking for like thirty minutes. Now. You have an awesome stories. Let's dive into tell us who you are what your heritage. So my name is read about that and I am a as used to describe it. I'm Honduran my parents were both from Buddha's but I was born here in New Orleans and raised between New Orleans in Baltimore and I currently live in Houston. So I've had the best of all worlds. Yeah. Headed your parents arrive to to New Orleans. Oh my gosh. So it's interesting both my parents ended up in two different places. My mom ended up in Baltimore with visa the. First Ten than she came illegally, and then she came back again legally and then my dad came here with a visa to new. Orleans. which is a huge population of hundred people for all those under Daniels listened to me there's a huge population Chiquita banana used to be headquartered there at the story's pretty rich and dynamic I think I should probably tell it one day, but it's a really interesting story like two lane. University has lot of really thick ties in into hundreds like they actually have a whole bunch of like less Stella's from the Mayan Ruins. Actually. In the nineteen hundreds went to Tulane University went to Honduras and made copies of them and they're sitting in New Orleans on at the military base. Okay. Fact very attacked. So how is it that it's a big population in your let I mean, it's not random, but it's like not your big cities are right. Well, for anybody WHO's been to New Orleans they have that like has at European small town feel and the climate really tropical. You know if it's if you're going to be close to home, you might as well be host in temperature to but like I said that to keep a banana used to be housed in or their headquarters was in new, ORLEANS? So since the ladder leads bananas in Lewis were also I guess they were reporting to New Orleans everybody who was coming over from Honduras to our liens found out about it because of the Banana Trade So interesting to get I don't be sick of that. But again, that's Your Dad arrives there and then your mom is in Baltimore and then they meet somewhere between. So they've actually met in hunters for the second time. Yeah. My mom back two. The second time, and then while she's in Honduras with my brother, she got married in Baltimore and then it didn't work. She got divorced in the ends up in under his an that second go round. She meets my dad in Honduras and she comes back to Baltimore with my brother wants all you your residency came out and everything she went back and then my dad ends up in New Orleans in. He's like you need to come check this out. This is like hundred number two like you know come visit me and sure enough she goes down there they fall in love with each other than this beautiful child was born.
The Closer (MM #3462)
"The Maison with Kevin Mason my father called the other day just to check in and he asked me a strange question first off. He said have you ever seen the TV show The Closer? It didn't ring a bell with me. It was Acura a quick show that was on like USA or a n e or one of those channels back about eight ten years ago it ran for a bunch of seasons. And the reason he asked one of the episodes had a character named Kevin Mason and he was the bad guy. Of course the episode my dad said, so did you piss me off back in the day your college days, they could come back and write a story make you the bad guy. I'd actually look it up. Luckily the executive producing guy who wrote the episodes were older than me and I never encountered either the writer or the producer. So I was in the clear but had kind of chuckle because only my father would think of something that crazy and only I would be crazy enough to go look it up because you never know as you get up in life and when you've been out about and you've been all around the country who you've encountered and who you've upset, those are kind of Occupational hazards. And when I was younger, I'll be honest with you was I really that in tune to what other people were thinking. No, I was more worried about myself much like most young people are go look it up. Just look up the closer online with Kyra Sedgwick and type in Kevin Mason. You'll find it kind of made me chuckle only my father and yeah only wage.
The Vanessa Guillen Story
"Own. Vanessa's twenty years old. She was born and raised in Houston Texas one of six children. Does Vanessa. Immigrants from Mexico. Mom Gloria took care of the kids while Dad Hindu worked as a machine operator. Again, family is Catholic very religious. This is the baptism but allow this. Does. To sell most. That's your favorite suppo. Young. Commodity. Say I knew. Them. stylist. There is. This is just. Tell me what? Now with the terrorists inside little. Always, eight following her steps and she said I can be like me like. Me Tough. Ignore everyone. Will assign us. So. Miss you. She graduates Cesar Chavez High School. She's this girl who just dreams of a better life. and. Then she immediately lists. There you have a young, Latina. Out of high school. Who says this is what I want to I want to be in the military you Miss Yonne. Dollar lawyer complete. And Hers First, training. She didn't even WANNA come back. She was happy even when she got home, she was like a new person she was like her skin was alerted full of blowing. More staff. More. Semi the police. Say Your meal will be this on the Dr. he said he said Mammy. Sophisticated Keith them even happier that she was going to be stationed in. Texas. Close to home. But that's the was sent to Fort Hood. She was stationed there as an active duty soldier and she would make the track every weekend to visit her family and Houston. That's about a three hour drive. Fort Hood is in the middle of nowhere. Texas. tumbleweeds rolling fast space is. Known as the great place. Fort Hood is big. It's the army's largest military installation and it's the densest population of combat. Units in the United States Army it's like the New York. City. You could easily get lost at Fort Hood because it's it's pretty much its own city. They have grocery stores there they had their own mall the of schools on post you you'd never have to leave if you don't want to. The national was as small arms for pair shoulder. So her responsibilities included ensuring weapons were maintained helping with accountability and inventories that was her job. And soon after Vanessa goes to Fort Hood, her family says they notice a change in her. Disturbing her ibex, we start seeing she didn't want to eat started getting skinny again. Come Do. KOMO's. Authorised. More, sad season must threes. Is. Getting in here. For who she was not happy at four to no style. No. To Be imple- KISS AC-. Nor'easter Story. She would try to tell me that she didn't want to be at forehead I. Remember this one time she said I don't like it here. And I hope one day you understand. October, knowing that my sister was coming home. I. Was there. And she came in. She closed the door and she just started crying on her bed.
Unhealthy Air Quality in the U.S. Pacific Northwest
"The unhealthy air blanketing the region is not going anywhere thick haze from the deadly wildfires burning in Oregon. Thousands of people are out of their homes and dozens are still missing. I worry about the people that didn't believe in time. It might be stranded up there. Officials from the States Emergency Management Office say they're preparing for a mass fatality event. At least 19 people are known to have died in the wildfires in the West. Entire towns have been destroyed like Detroit or again. The fire is Very scary because it's like where I've grown up and my dad took me fishing up there. Detroit all the time. And seeing the stuff that's been going on, and all of it burning down is very scary. And the air quality in the West is dangerous. For some KCBS TV is Nicole Comstock in Monrovia, California. Antonio is one of many people getting in line at the car wash because he can't take the ash anymore. His family's family's been been keeping keeping their their windows windows closed closed in in their their A A C C on on so so it it doesn't doesn't seep seep into into their their home home to to the the horrible horrible actually, actually, I I have have asthma. asthma. Said Said the the heart heart meaning meaning we we haven't haven't gone gone out out now now the
Novelist Donald Ray Pollock On Factory Work And Finding Fiction Later In Life
"Today's first guest is author Donald Ray Pollock, whose novel the devil all the time has just been made into a new netflix movie premiering next Wednesday. It Stars Tom Holland and Robert Pattinson, and here's a taste in this clip. A young boy has just watched his father pulverized two guys after they made lewd comments about the father's wife, the son's mother. Afterward the father gives his son some advice. You remember what I told you. On. The buzzer gave you. That's what I mean. got. To. Sir. Good sons of bitches out there. One hundred. These that many. Cannonball. In, both the movie and the novel the characters in the devil all the time are driven to extremes whether their fathers and sons, serial killers or preachers. The story begins in the small town of knock him stiff a real place in southern Ohio where Donald Ray pollock grew up. He didn't become a writer until he put in over thirty years at the local paper mill and got sober. But. Once he did start writing. He was noticed quickly receiving both awards and critical. Acclaim. Terry, gross spoke to Donald Ray pollock in twenty eleven when the devil, all the time was first published. Donald, Ray pollock welcome to fresh air. I'd like to start with reading from your new book, the Devil, all the time It's about the second paragraph from the prologue. So would you just set it up for us? What we have here is A young boy's name is Arvin Eugene Russell and he's following behind his father Willard and there and place called knock him stiff and they're going to Willard's prayer logging as a log in the woods where he Wants to communicate with God and So this is where they are. You know early in the morning and their. have finally reached this log. Willard eased himself down on the high side of the law and motion for his son to kneel beside him in the dead soggy leaves unless he had whiskey running through his veins Willard came to the clearing every morning and evening talk to God. Arvin didn't know which was worse the drinking or the praying. As far back, as he could remember, it seemed that his father had faulted devil all the time. Arvin little with the damp pulled his Co. tighter. He wished he were still in bed even school with always miseries was better than this but it was a Saturday and there was no way to get around it. Through the mostly bare trees beyond the cross Arvin could see whisper smoke rising from a few chimneys, half a mile away four hundred or so people lived in, knock him stiff in nineteen, fifty seven nearly all of them connected by blood through one godforsaken clam or another be it lust were necessity or just plain ignorance along with the tar paper shacks and Cinder Block houses the Holler included two general stores and a Church of Christ in Christian Union and joint known throughout the township as the bullpen. Three days before he'd come home with another black I I, don't condone no fighting just for the hell of it but sometimes, you're just too easy going Willard told him that evening then boys might be bigger than you. But the next time one of them starts his stuff, I want you to finish it. Willard was standing on the porch changing out of his work clothes. He handed Arvin Brown pants stiff with dried blood and Greece. He worked in a slaughterhouse in Greenfield and that day sixteen hundred homes had been butchered a new record for RJ Carol meat-packing. Those boy didn't know yet what he wanted to do when he grew up he was pretty sure he didn't WanNa kill pigs for eleven. Let's Donald Ray pollock reading from his new novel, the Devil, all the time. You know in the reading that you did the father tells the sun that the next time. So many beats him up the sun has to fight back and that seems to be. A recurring theme like in the opening story of your collection of short stories, the collections called knock him stiff. The opening sentence reads my father showed me how to hurt a man one August night at the torch in when I was seven years old it was the only thing he was ever any good at. You certainly seem interested in the idea of a father. Kind of indoctrinating a sun on the need to fight back and then egging on to do it even when it's inappropriate. so was is this a story that played out in your life? Well, not so much in my life I. Mean as far as I don't my dad really didn't push me to fight or anything like that. But you know when I was growing up my father and I had a very Uneasy relationship. You've got to understand my dad was born in one, thousand, nine, hundred, thirty he's still alive. You know he's eighty years old and he's still kicking but He was born in. Nineteen thirty grew up in the depression I went to the eighth grade. He was working on the railroad by the time he was sixteen, and then he was in the navy. And, my dad is a very tough. Hard. man Stra very strong man. As and in contrast to that, my mother is very shy kind. Small Bone woman. and. Either fortunately or unfortunately for me, I took after my mother and I believe. When I was a kid, my dad was. Maybe disappointed for not taking after him more. So. You know that's where I guess part of that comes from it and part of it also comes from. Lived in stiff. That's where I grew up and I saw a lot of other fathers who were you know drinkers and hell raisers and they didn't treat their families very well You know maybe they went and worked for a while and. I got enough money to go on another band or whatever, and pretty much left the family to take care of themselves. So, yeah father's have a pretty rough time and my work I just. It's just. You know I'm a father. You know I have a daughter WHO's I'm thirty years old now and I have always felt that I. Wasn't. As good as I could have been. Her mother and I were divorced when she was very young she was like a year old and and I wasn't around that much and. That's probably the best explanation. I can give for why treat father's like I do my work. Were you bullied in school. You said you, you took after your mother who wouldn't hurt a fly. So and if you were bullied, would you fight back? Did you know how to actually I wasn't bullied in school I? Never really had any problems with that and yeah, I. Mean a would fight back if I had to but. That situation you know didn't come about very much probably you know just. No more than any other normal kid you know might face that sort of thing. But. Yeah. I mean I wasn't really interested in Working on cars or farm or anything like that was more of A. I won't call myself a bookworm because we really didn't have that many books but you know I like to read and watch old movies and drawl and stuff like that and My Dad. Just you know he's a very practical man I mean, even today you know his idea of success is. Owning your own farm, starting your own business or something like that and I know that he probably looks on what I'm doing now is. A pretty useless way to spend your life trying to write books. Would you describe what the town of knock him stiff was like when you were growing up well, when I was growing up there it was. You know relocated for us. Ok we'll knock him stiff. is about thirteen miles west of chillicothe Theo, which is you know southern Ohio. It was its own little place. You know there wasn't much else around there but it was a community There were three small general stores and a bar and a church, and probably four hundred, fifty, five, hundred people now I probably was related to. At least half those people. So did you find this nurturing being in a town where half the people in it were related to you or incredibly claustrophobic? I think when I was a kid when I was a kid I was claustrophobic for me. You know I was one of those kids I was always unsatisfied I always wanted to be. Else and somewhere else. And so from a very early age. You know I was thinking about escaping from the hauler. I just Thought that I'd rather be somewhere else are somewhere else. But where you are as in Chile coffee which is. PHILADELPHIA, which is about thirteen miles away like you got out but you didn't go very far. I, really didn't get out I mean that's the weird contradiction of that whole thing you know i. Wanted to escape and them what I finally got my chance or whatever I. I chose to stay I'm out at knock stiff at least once a week even today Ladder parents go to visit. My parents are still alive. You know I have a brother and two sisters and they all live fairly close to there and So I. Think though as far as escape goes what happened with me was I quit high school when I was seventeen. And I went to work in a meat packing plant much like Weller work, Dan? And then when I was eighteen I moved to Florida you know that was going to be I was going to get away that you know by moving to Florida and I was down are working a job in a nursery and I wasn't making much money or anything only been there a few months my dad called and said. Hey, I can get you a job at the paper mail if you come back up here so. I chose to come back. You know the paper Mills Calling it was union job and great benefits and. And I knew you know for a high school dropout that was probably going to be the best job I. Ever got. You had that job for. How many years did you work at the paper mill? I? was there thirty two years and you didn't start writing till you were around fifty or is that is fifth well I'm fifty six now and I started writing when I was forty five. Okay. So how come it took so long did you know? When you weren't writing did you know that you had that in you? Well. You know I'd always been a big reader as I said and I love books. And I think maybe in the back of my mind, you know always thought writing would be a great way to get by in the world and you know, of course, I was very naive about it. The principal reasons for me you know as far as being a writer were one, you were your own boss. To you could do it anywhere. And three, you made lots of money. Wasn't until actually began writing it. I found out. That was a real true. But I. Think you know Sorta like maybe a fantasy that? It was in the back of my mind for a long time. I had a problem with drinking and for a number of years and you know it was one of those fantasies that when you got half loaded and You started daydreaming or whatever it was. One of those things that you thought about right thought about. But it wasn't really. You know I went to school when I was in my thirties I went to college I went to Ohio University and I ended up with a degree in English and You. Know even while I was there though I wasn't thinking about being a writer I never took any writing workshops or anything like that. But then finally when I was forty five my dad retired from the paper mill. And there was just something about watching him retire and go home. and. You know that was you know pretty much the end of his career and it really. Bothered me and I. Just. decided. I had to try something else you know. To some other way to. Spend the rest of my life. So. When you decided, you wanted to learn how to write what did that mean? Any. Writers or anything in for a while I just sort of scribbled and struggled. And then I'd read an interview with a writer and I can't recall her name now or no it was a lady. But she talked about typing out other people's stories as a means of maybe getting closer to them or just learn how to put a story together. and. So I started doing that. Who did you type out? I typed out a lot of different stories I. I was typing out a story at least once a week and that went on for about a year and a half. So John. cheever hemingway. Flannery. O'Connor Richard. Yates Dennis Johnson the you know the list just goes on and on if it was a story that I really liked and it wasn't. Long I, type it out, and then I carry it around with me for a week and you look at over and you know jot notes on stuff like that, and then I'd throw it away and do another one. Typing a story out, just was a much better way for me to see how you know person puts dial together or you know. Moose from one scene to the next that sort of thing. Was it hard for you to find your subject matter as a writer? Well when I first started. Trying to learn how to write. As. I said like maybe I would copy out John cheever story. So then I would try to write my own story about some East Coast suburbanite having unfair. Something like that or maybe I'd write about a re Rita Andrei debut story, and then I'd write about a Catholic priest. and. So I did that for maybe two years or so and it just wasn't working at all for me. and. Then filing maybe at about two and a half years, I wrote a story that's included in the book. Knock him stiff called back teen. And it's a very short story. and. It's about these two losers sitting in a donut shop. And that was the first thing that I had. Written that I thought wasn't too bad. And so then I increasingly started focusing on you know the people that I knew about instead of nurses, lawyers, that sort of thing that I had absolutely no idea. How to write about There's a passage in your new novel that's about a bus driver and the bus drivers father had gotten a certificate from the railroad for not missing a single day of work in twenty years and bus drivers. Mother always held this up as like what you could do. If you really you know were strive and tried to accomplish something when the bus drivers father died the bus driver hope that that certificate would be buried with his father's. We didn't have to look at it anymore, but instead his mother just like. Put It on the wall, display it in the living room. And then the bus driver thinks it wore on you after a while other people's accomplishments. I love that sentence did you ever feel that way I mean he kochman here seems. So relatively small like a good attendance record and not to knock that. But for that to be like, you know the zenith of somebody's life is. You. but did you feel that way that a war on you? Other People's accomplishments? I don't think that I paid so much attention to other people's. Successes or whatever. But I, know that I was aware you know by the time. I was thirty two or so and I've been working at the mail for about fourteen years. And I knew that all the guys that I had come in with you got hired about the same time as mayor guys even much later than that. You know they own their own home. Maybe. They owned a boat and they had two or three vehicles and they were married and had kids and on and on and on. You know in contrast to them. I've been divorced twice. I'd filed bankruptcy when I got sober I was living in this little very small apartment above this garage. Of. Motel Room and I've been living there for about. Four or five years. I owned a black and white TV that my sister had given me and I had this seventy six chevy that had the whole side of smashed in and that was it. You know for fourteen years of working there. That's what I had. And so you know there was that sense I guess of me just being a failure. Wasn't really that I wasn't jealous of those people or anything like that. I, mean I had enough sense to know that you know where I ended up was my own fault. But there was always that that idea in back of my head that. I could have done more you know I could maybe went to college or something you know. I'm sure you know if I'd wanted to go to school when I was eighteen, my dad would try to help me. and. That's not the route that I chose though how has your life changed? Now as a published writer, you have a collection of short stories. You have a new novel you got a thirty five thousand dollars cash prize, the pen, Robert Bingham Award. So, what's different about your life? well, I have a lot more time to just set on the porch and. Smoke and daydream. Think it's a legitimate. Yeah well, at least that's what I tell my wife. But my life hasn't really changed that much I. Mean I get a lot more emails. Now you know that sort of thing, but you know I still live in the same house I still pretty much. You know my daily routine is. I really can't say that it's changed that much. It's a good life and I'm thrilled that you know I've got a publisher and. You know had at least a little bit of success. You know I know a lot of writers out there a lot of writers out there who are much better than I am. And would. Probably give their left arm. To be setting, you know where I'm setting today. Well Donald Ray, pollock thing you so much for talking with us. Terry I appreciate. It. Made my day. Donald Ray pollock speaking to Terry Gross in twenty eleven. The devil all the time a new movie based on his novel of the same name.
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"Burn off this little gut that I've got going to take care of this dad and I know this is something that you guys talk about all the time and something that you guys are concerned about as well because they see it in. There are closed data at facebook group. If you're not part of that group got about twelve thousand guys from all over the world or part of that group and oftentimes guys who post in there and say man, it's time for me to step up. I'm ready to get rid of his dad bod`ed, what do you guys suggest, and those are some of the most commented on Post that happened in the DAD tired group. You'll see hundreds of comments on their of really cool stories of like before, and after of guys who kind of lost track of their fitness and they just got things got out of hand and they got totally out of shape and then they decided they were gonNA, figure it out, and so they'll post before and after picture, and then all the guys will comment on their like dude, what you do or is it key? Does Paleo did you fast for three years? What do you got going on there, teach me your ways and it really is One of our most responded to post that happened in the data group is guys who are trying to get back in shape and looking for advice and ways to do that. So I know this is something that you guys talk about. So this has been the this has been what I've been focused on this week, and this is what have been This is my new thing. If you know me, I get into different things pretty much every week. And this week I'm focused on just men. How do I get back in shape at all start eating healthier being more disciplined, and as I do that one of the first questions I always try to ask myself as someone who's trained. My best to follow Jesus in the ways of Jesus is I was just asked like does God care about this does God's word have anything to say about this? Does he care?.
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"Trying to think what is the thing that I hope that guys who are listening get out of this and the first couple of things I would love to hear what you think, but first couple of things that come to mind number one is I hope guys can hear to Christians who are coming through this at a different angle? Just lovingly have these kind of conversations because I think they're so healthy and I think they're really unhealthy. doing them on the Internet where people are just kind of yelling at each other all the time. So that's the first thing I would say just having Christians being able to have these conversations in a loving way I think that the we it's important for Christians to be to to wrestle through this stuff and to do with love in like to say and I want we both want. Follow Jesus here I love that analogy gave at the beginning. We're. We're not on opposite sides. We're on the same hill, looking at Jesus trying to figure out our Jesus. What wisdom would you give it to us? And then the second thing is these are the kind of I think this should be the posture of the way that we have conversations with our kids on what I'm afraid of is, if we give our kids really definitive, black and white answers, this is what you should do then when they go out into the real world, and they have people who kind of test that or who have different perspective I frankly, that's where a lot of young people end up leaving the church like Oh, I, didn't even you know. My Mom and dad must be really old school and I'm GonNa. Listen to what they say anymore and so I think just being able to like process these. Obviously our kids are for some of US have young kids. Your kids are getting too into their teenage years old young adults, and so, but just to be able to like. Sit Down and have these like really. Let's wrestle through the scriptures. What does the Bible? Say What do other people's that we love? Say like what would our gay friends say? What would our? What would our Jesus loving friends say and like just? Just wrestle through all of that together I. Think it's just really really good model to set up for them, but anyway I guess that's kind of the things that I hope that. People who are listening to get out of it. Is there anything from your perspective like this is what I hope. A listener gets out of this. Yeah. I, think I need a really good I love the idea of as Christians we, we can work together work on the same team like we we we have to learn to like love each other enough like this liberal, rightly loving people, so let's do that to our brothers and sisters in Christ and like we don't have to die on all these hills. Linked to to get our.
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"And then he shows up and he has a fire going and he makes them breakfast. Jesus later tells his disciples I'm going to put my spirit inside of you. Yeah, you're broken and messy people, but I can't get close enough. Just like in the garden where I walked with you just like in the desert where I dwelled among you just like when Jesus showed up and flesh, flesh and blood. I can't get close enough to broken a messy people I'm GONNA put my spirit inside of you, and then the Bible literally and the last book of the Bible Revelation. There's this vision. There's this picture of a new heaven. A new city coming down to Earth, and the Bible says that God will dwell. Among us. And that he will be our God. And we will be as people. Literally from Genesis to revelation. God is near broken and Messi people. He can't get close enough. So what does that mean for US Journey Church in February two thousand eighteen on a snowy day. Like how does all of that makes sense for us? I think the first thing when we think about being better together as to realize that we can come out from hiding. All of us in here. Hide in really creative ways. But. You can come out from hiding. Because you're not gonNA experience and come across a God. Who's going to pour out his wrath on because the greatest news of all time is that God poured out his wrath. You deserve on Jesus. and He poured out His grace on you what you don't deserve. You can come out from hiding because you're going to experience the same kind of God that Adam and Eve experienced in the garden as they're sending on the worst day. God doesn't just jolt them down with lightning like they deserve, but he said where are you? I think I would say the same thing to us. Where are you? Why are you hiding? You don't have to hide anymore. We fake it really well. The thing is I. Think people know we all know what broken. Okay. You're looking my instagram. You're like, oh. Maybe guys got together. dudes broken. I'm broken and you know we all know that about each other right like we all present our best, but we're broken people. Were messed up. The church is this beautiful place where we get to come under the banner to say I'm really broken and yet I'm I'm submitting my life to the greatest news of all time that instead of my broken receiving wrath, my broken. This was put on Jesus so that I could.
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"On that data dot com number one is the community tab in that will link over to a close group that we have on facebook. We got about twelve thousand guys from all over the world. Who are taking this stuff seriously, so come hang out with us over there, and then we also have a free book so if you go to death her dot com slash. Slash Free Book. It's ten practical ways that you can start leading your family. Jesus today it's a short read and very practical way for you to get started and spiritual leadership as of like today, so that's a great way to start today. We're going to pick up on some of the topics that we're talking about last week if he didn't listen to last week's. which was titled Something to the effect of you can't lead where you haven't been around that If you haven't listened to that already, I highly recommend that you go back and listen to that one first and then today's episode might be helpful as kind of a follow up to that It's actually a message that I gave a couple years ago. Ago at a church as a guest speaker on, but I just think ties in really well, too with with what we were talking about last week. So I think that's GonNa. Be Helpful for you today. again as a follow up to to what we're talking about last week before we dive into that though I. Do want to thank my friends over at. At blinking for sponsoring today's episode, I love Lincoln's. It's one of the most used APPs on my phone. You can hear my baby going in the background, which is a good tie for me and talking about blink. We have very little time for us to actually sit down and quite into. Read a book I know. Very few of us can find the time. Time to do that without all the screaming and chaos, and so two like to finish a book as a young Dad, who's trying to be husband, a dad and work, and all the savages? It feels impossible. I used to read a lot before I had kids now i. hardly ever read, and that's why I love links. What they do is they condense? Thousands of nonfiction books, fifteen minutes, or less that you can either read or listen to you. I like to listen to a few books before I go to bed at night. They even now have a full audio books..
"dad" Discussed on Bad To The Dad
"Able to see. Performing actually room. They get their all with thinking so selflessly. So we can rest assured that we can have all. Every When we're in the dark, they shiny line on you. When we're in the dark nation, light on you. Were Bad to the dad with coach, Randy and Adam De. We really hope you're enjoying our musical spectacular in honor of Dad Data Palooza a musical celebration of Dad's first time. We've ever done kind of a concert. He type of program here concert type of special of we're glad you. The listener are a part of it. You'RE GONNA WANNA stay to the very end. Of this bad to the DAD special as pledge said, the very was, it was sun was so sudden. She's been. She's been sick for weeks. The very which he actually died was very sudden, so were applying that same fletch methodology to the podcast. You WanNa. Wait to the very end of our our program here because coach. We've got a another special bonus song from Harry. Cars are bad to the dead with coach. Randy and Adam de this is our musical celebration.
"dad" Discussed on Dad So Hard
"Always challenged to come up with names. What do you think we do for the title of a book? Just all the titles of the episodes mashed onto the cover. That would be amazing. It's also a book with those that would be a me that that could be Listen you people out there. Listening. Tell us. Twenty twenty five page long title. To help us at type it. Accepting. Who Listen Father's Day is a week away. Everybody who, if we did not mention why your dad or why? You were great on this podcast episode Danny can people aren't day if they disagree with US 'cause I'm sure also maybe people think we about MOM's. Different podcast. This is DAD's. With. Wait till next May, or if we miss something, tell us how Danny. How would these people tell us if we miss them instagram facebook at that so hard podcast twitter at or pod. Email. DOTS on podcast at gmail.com website. We Are Dad's hard dot com I. Mean if you Google Dad so hard. One of our names come find us, but please guys let us Lee or girls or men, women or anyone ever you identify, we do not care how identify yourself is on you identify and tell us work great. Owns your fan. We take just. Just listen and tell us that we're great and. We'll give it right back and we'll be. We may a t shirt. Dan Did you notice what I'm wearing today I'm thrown about the old school the throwback. Again Watch on Youtube. These shirts are no longer available. These are sold out except for extra charges but we still have our red ones high stock red red last. Right onto the best if you need more. Do you need more. Do you have any you should? I gave you a bag. Downtown I have a ton. But, if you need sure, let us know and listen celebrate your father's weekend. Everybody tell them call them if they were to grave. Pray to them and say prayer Like, look to the heavens. Don't have a dad. Celebrate your mother on Father's Day long yet one. Or, walk to your neighbor, and say Abbey Father's Day, but if you just have a mom celebrating. Listen I know a bunch of I. WanNa Single Mom friends in the neighborhood in the town I, I'm fully supporting their kids. Your mom happy father's Day because she's doing a both. And we are absolutely unity community. Enjoy it, everybody Danny. What else would you want to tell people? Your words of wisdom going to father's Day weekend. Let Your Dad Relax. It's been a rough quarantine. Step it up malone and don't yell. So share that little bit with your kids. And then we will be back. We'll be. We'll be back next week and we'll you know. How are we've survive father's Day battle recap. What we cap it all to you. Okay? We love you guys..
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"Jesus turns around after Peter had just an item, and they looked in the eye in that word, there is play Poe again. Just like when they first met, it was deep soul, the soul connection, almost as Jesus was looking into Peter Soul when he was denying him really really powerful stuff, but I just imagined. Do that Jesus like he looked at people? Now is a lot like that. That's the kind of person. I imagined Jesus was like when you were with him. He's constantly. Entering into that EM- Belay Poe where he's like. In deep into your eyes and he's beyond just seeing the outside of you. He's like looking inside of you like he senior soul, and who you are, and he's he's giving you as full attention at the deepest level like this is the kind of God that we serve what we don't see Jesus, doing is like overlooking people as he's trying to save people. Could you imagine that like Jesus? His whole point of coming to Earth was that he would save humans from sin that he would rescue them that he would invite them into a new kingdom. Kingdom into the way things were meant to be and supposed to be and so Jesus when he was interacting with people. He like gave them his full attention. You don't see him looking over people to try to accomplish his mission. What you don't see Jesus, saying like Hey, can you just like? Can you hurry up with the story, or can you hurry? Hurry hurry like. Can you just get to the point here? Because I got I'm going to try to save people. Jesus knew that the person right in front of him was part of the mission. Like. This is the mission. He came to save people, and now he's looking the people that he came to save right in the is. He didn't hurry past them. He didn't tell them. Get on with your story or get to the point, or I don't have time for that right now. Because I'm trying to do something bigger. No, he knew that like the person right in front of me. That is the mission. This is what I came here for that person in for. For All people whoever is right in front of me has my attention. They have my love. They have everything that I have to give them. He was fully present when he was present. And our mission as men is right in front of us. It's not work. Our mission is in our hobbies or the way that we can scale up on the social ladder or the way that we can accomplish more work or get more things done. It's not filling up the bank account. Like, our mission are the little humans under our care that we have the honor and the privilege of disciple. This is our mission. We don't get to say. Hurry up, get to the point. You're in the way. They are what we're here for. Our goal now listen hear me clearly our worlds are not supposed to revolve around our kids. That's an unhealthy relationship, but I think you know what I'm saying like I'm not saying that. But what I m saying is there's really what more thing. What could be more important in your life the to give your full attention to your children into your wife to your family, what could be more important than being fully present with the people that got us put right in front of you? What other relationship! What other thing is worth chasing after the to give your kids and your wife? Your full attention to be fully present while being present. We're GONNA. Talk about what it looks like to be president while being present, but before we do I want to thank my friends over at blinking for sponsoring today's episode. I love blinking there. One of my favorite I use on my phone constantly We're always trying to learn as guys in. It's really hard as busy dads to continue to find the time to. To. Sit Down and learn something which is why I love them. Because what they do is, they take three thousand over three thousand nonfiction bestsellers. They've got over twenty seven different categories, and they convinced them down into what they call blinks, which are just fifteen minutes or less that you can either read a book or listen to a book and really get the main. Main need to know information from thousands of books so again. If you don't have time to sit down and read a whole book or listen to a whole book, it will take fifteen minutes of best the need to know information. Really condense it down to give you the information that you need for it what they also have now. They've also just launched A. A brand new feature, or you can listen to full length audio books and exclusive podcast. That's brand new feature that they've just launched on. They're really excited to try that out. I think you guys are GonNa. Love that as well as podcast listeners. I like to listen to a couple of books every night before I go to bed, just continue to learn and. Gain more knowledge and short amount of time to books that I recommend that they have on there. They've got one on there for tire. Dad's called why we sleep by Matthew Walker It's a great book to check out just about sleep. And then they also got the ruthless elimination of hurry by John Mark Homer, which is one of my favorite books of two thousand twenty right now. Blankets has a special offer just for. For you are dead, tired audience, go to blink DOT, com slash tired to start your free seven-day trial and get twenty five percents off blinking premium membership and up to sixty five percent of audiobooks that you get to keep forever. That's bleakest spelled. B. L. I. N.. K. I S. T. BLINKING DOT COM slash tired to get twenty five percent off a premium membership and a seven day free trial. That's blink dot com forward slash tired. Here's one of my biggest fears for says Dad's. One of my biggest fears is that we're going to run past. Our kids in an effort to chase down a better life for them. I, mean just say that one more time because I wanted to soak in one of my biggest fears for us as dad's as that, we will run past our kids in an effort to chase down a better life for them. A Leyland. We'd just bought a new home and we've been trying for almost our entire marriage to save up and to get ourselves in a position where we could buy a house and we were renting for pretty much the entire time our kids have been alive, and and then we moved into a little town home kind of in the interim, and then we just we saved up and we worked hard, and we finally got in this home. Home that we love and it's it's great for our little family, and it's got a yard which we wanted and which it's Kinda hard to find him Portland like something. That has an a yard where the kids can play. It was just amazing, and our kids loved it like we we. We had been talking about this for years, and we finally got into a home and our kids that they really loved it for about three days. and there was this moment like three days into this house when and just kind of like the newness wore off, and my son Said Daddy. Will you play in the backyard with me and And when he said that I just thought man like this house means absolutely nothing. If Daddy isn't present and the house like sure that you know the, they're happy to have a room to sleep in the happy have A. A yard to play in and whatever, but like they're not gonNa grow old and think man I really love that house. Even though my daddy was never physically or mentally around like my dad, you know. He got us a house and that's really all we wanted in life. Do we all know that right and I? Guess? I can just subconsciously Kinda. Thought like if I get my kids a house that they love you know. Know we'll be set and the truth is. They don't care like they don't. They're not any more happy in this house than they were in this tiny little town home that we just came from our home, the small house we were renting before they just don't care. It means nothing to them. If Daddy's not present what they'll look back on is not the house they lived in, but with a look back on was daddy. Daddy, present and I guess what was.
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"Of the Gospel says that Jesus turns around after Peter had just an item, and they looked in the eye in that word, there is play Poe again. Just like when they first met, it was deep soul, the soul connection, almost as Jesus was looking into Peter Soul when he was denying him really really powerful stuff, but I just imagined. Do that Jesus like he looked at people? Now is a lot like that. That's the kind of person. I imagined Jesus was like when you were with him. He's constantly. Entering into that EM- Belay Poe where he's like. In deep into your eyes and he's beyond just seeing the outside of you. He's like looking inside of you like he senior soul, and who you are, and he's he's giving you as full attention at the deepest level like this is the kind of God that we serve what we don't see Jesus, doing is like overlooking people as he's trying to save people. Could you imagine that like Jesus? His whole point of coming to Earth was that he would save humans from sin that he would rescue them that he would invite them into a new kingdom. Kingdom into the way things were meant to be and supposed to be and so Jesus when he was interacting with people. He like gave them his full attention. You don't see him looking over people to try to accomplish his mission. What you don't see Jesus, saying like Hey, can you just like? Can you hurry up with the story, or can you hurry? Hurry hurry like. Can you just get to the point here? Because I got I'm going to try to save people. Jesus knew that the person right in front of him was part of the mission. Like. This is the mission. He came to save people, and now he's looking the people that he came to save right in the is. He didn't hurry past them. He didn't tell them. Get on with your story or get to the point, or I don't have time for that right now. Because I'm trying to do something bigger. No, he knew that like the person right in front of me. That is the mission. This is what I came here for that person in for. For All people whoever is right in front of me has my attention. They have my love. They have everything that I have to give them. He was fully present when he was present. And our mission as men is right in front of us. It's not work. Our mission is in our hobbies or the way that we can scale up on the social ladder or the way that we can accomplish more work or get more things done. It's not filling up the bank account. Like, our mission are the little humans under our care that we have the honor and the privilege of disciple. This is our mission. We don't get to say. Hurry up, get to the point. You're in the way. They are what we're here for. Our goal now listen hear me clearly our worlds are not supposed to revolve around our kids. That's an unhealthy relationship, but I think you know what I'm saying like I'm not saying that. But what I m saying is there's really what more thing. What could be more important in your life the to give your full attention to your children into your wife to your family, what could be more important than being fully present with the people that got us put right in front of you? What other relationship! What other thing is worth chasing after the to give your kids and your wife? Your full attention to be fully present while being present. We're GONNA. Talk about what it looks like to be president while being present, but before we do I want to thank my friends over at blinking for sponsoring today's episode. I love blinking there. One of my favorite I use on my phone constantly We're always trying to learn as guys in. It's really hard as busy dads to continue to find the time to. To. Sit Down and learn something which is why I love them. Because what they do is, they take three thousand over three thousand nonfiction bestsellers. They've got over twenty seven different categories, and they convinced them down into what they call blinks, which are just fifteen minutes or less that you can either read a book or listen to a book and really get the main. Main need to know information from thousands of books so again. If you don't have time to sit down and read a whole book or listen to a whole book, it will take fifteen minutes of best the need to know information. Really condense it down to give you the information that you need for it what they also have now. They've also just launched A. A brand new feature, or you can listen to full length audio books and exclusive podcast. That's brand new feature that they've just launched on. They're really excited to try that out. I think you guys are GonNa. Love that as well as podcast listeners. I like to listen to a couple of books every night before I go to bed, just continue to learn and. Gain more knowledge and short amount of time to books that I recommend that they have on there. They've got one on there for tire. Dad's called why we sleep by Matthew Walker It's a great book to check out just about sleep. And then they also got the ruthless elimination of hurry by John Mark Homer, which is one of my favorite books of two thousand twenty right now. Blankets has a special offer just for. For you are dead, tired audience, go to blink DOT, com slash tired to start your free seven-day trial and get twenty five percents off blinking premium membership and up to sixty five percent of audiobooks that you get to keep forever. That's bleakest spelled. B. L. I. N.. K. I S. T. BLINKING DOT COM slash tired to get twenty five percent off a premium membership and a seven day free trial. That's blink dot com forward slash tired. Here's one of my biggest fears for says Dad's. One of my biggest fears is that we're going to run past. Our kids in an effort to chase down a better life for them. I, mean just say that one more time because I wanted to soak in one of my biggest fears for us as dad's as that, we will run past our kids in an effort to chase down a better life for them. A Leyland. We'd just bought a new home and we've been trying for almost our entire marriage to save up and to get ourselves in a position where we could buy a house and we were renting for pretty much the entire time our kids have been alive, and and then we moved into a little town home kind of in the interim, and then we just we saved up and we worked hard, and we finally got in this home. Home that we love and it's it's great for our little family, and it's got a yard which we wanted and which it's Kinda hard to find him Portland like something. That has an a yard where the kids can play. It was just amazing, and our kids loved it like we we. We had been talking about this for years, and we finally got into a home and our kids that they really loved it for about three days. and there was this moment like three days into this house when and just kind of like the newness wore off, and my son Said Daddy. Will you play in the backyard with me and And when he said that I just thought man like this house means absolutely nothing. If Daddy isn't present and the house like sure that you know the, they're happy to have a room to sleep in the happy have A. A yard to play in and whatever, but like they're not gonNa grow old and think man I really love that house. Even though my daddy was never physically or mentally around like my dad, you know. He got us a house and that's really all we wanted in life. Do we all know that right and I? Guess? I can just subconsciously Kinda. Thought like if I get my kids a house that they love you know. Know we'll be set and the truth is. They don't care like they don't. They're not any more happy in this house than they were in this tiny little town home that we just came from our home, the small house we were renting before they just don't care. It means nothing to them. If Daddy's not present what they'll look back on is not the house they lived in, but with a look back on was daddy. Daddy, present and I guess what was.
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"All right guys. We'll welcome back. We have a bonus episode today. This is not a normal day that we would release an episode. And it's not a normal episode We are in the midst of a quarantine as you know. You're probably home with your kids listening to this. So I have a special guest. Somebody that's never been on our data show before may introduce to you for the very first time weighing in at sixty pounds soaking wet four foot. Three I have no idea what you are. My son allies yellows hate. But how are you how are you? I'm good let me just this microphone. Voice Don get areas. That's good heritage's me and Elijah Elijah and I I in Elijah the two of us. We should probably work on some grammar this week. we had this idea to since we've been stuck in the house. It's only been like three days and we're already at the top of our Getting a little antsy so we had this idea where we thought we would have. Families data hired families memorize scripture together. one verse a week for however many weeks were in this whole thing and And so Elijah tell them a little bit about how this whole thing is going to work. What's the first thing that people need to do? So the first thing you WanNa do is memorize What the verse. We're GONNA give you so. Let's tell them what verse. It is. What I do they memorized this week. Joshua one nine Joshua one nine They won't be able to see this because this is a podcast so they can't see us. Should we read it for him? So the verse Joshua One nine says have a now commanded. You be strong encourage courageous courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not discouraged for the Lord. Your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua one not. That's right okay. So that's the verse. We're GONNA work on this week again. It says I have not commanded. You be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged for the Lord. Your God will be with you wherever you go. Just real quick dude. What do you think that means? What do you think God was saying there? What does he wants to hear? Well I think it means that you shouldn't be afraid. Whatever you like run through and like I think God is always going to be with you so you don't have to worry and don't be afraid that's perfect. That's exactly what he's saying Is it kind of scary times? Some people kind of afraid right now with everything going on. Yes so it's it's it's easy to like watch the news and sometimes we watch the news and it's like Oh man that's kind of scary but we see God's say hey have I not commanded you be strong. Be Courageous courageous meets means have courage. Courage do not be afraid And do not be discouraged for the Lord. Your God will be with you wherever you go so we know even if we don't know what's ahead of us we know that God is always with okay. So that's the first thing we want everyone to memorize this verse. Verse will be memorizing together as a family this week. And then what's the second thing that they need to do? They need a Posted posted take video. And then what did take a video of your kid reading it. I mean memorizing it and You posted to dead tired kids so we created this group. We have a. We have a facebook group for normally for dad tire. Dad's but we created a dad. Tired Kids Group. So if you go to dad or if you go on facebook and you search dad tired kids and we'll put a link in the show notes here so you can click on that but you we've already got a bunch of people in this group already in their kids already started to work on this so if you're not in there yet jump in there. Today is Wednesday March Eighteenth So we'll have all week for the kids to take videos. And do you have a facebook now? I'll probably get grounded. Yeah if you ever get any kind of social media at all you will be grounded for life and if I did. I don't really know who I would have on facebook. I wouldn't really have anyone 'cause kids don't go to facebook and parents do but like I would just be going into facebook so it'd be kind of weird if you had to count and you're like adding people's parents 'cause you never know who's out there that's right that is exactly right so kids won't be able to probably don't have a facebook but we're going to ask the DADS to If you're listening to this take video of your kids only posted on the DAD tired kids group. It's a closed group for just the data listeners. And their kids but that way we can see all the other kids who are practicing this first together So upload the video of your child or children Sane this verse by memory and then And then what's the third thing that they need to do? What happens at the end of the week next week from now? What are we gonNA do when we look through? All these videos. I WanNa see the videos and we're GONNA see all the people who memorize the all the kids who memorized it and we're GONNA put all their names in This hat that and we're GONNA whoever gets picked out will be the winner and whoever's the winner will get a prize is it like while they win a new will we ship them Pencil No because they would not be happy with all the work they've done in basically something not could be that fun like putting all that work and you just want to Pencil So should we make huge like a house where they were in the house? No because they WANNA get to keep it for their selves. It's true and probably would be hard to ship a whole entire house just something smaller but like in between that kind of maybe a Lego set or something really fun. An art set or a Lego set. Boys girls anyone can enter into this and do this but we'll find a bunch of cool prizes and then we'll pick one winner every single week that we're all in this quarantine so again number one memorized. Joshua one nine we are using the NFC. Virgin you can use whatever version you'd like version Memorized Joshua one nine. Secondly go on the data kids facebook page and uplift upload The video of your child or children saying by memory can. Are they allowed to cheat? Like if you can have a bible behind the camera because if we saw the Bible behind the camera than knew for sure wouldn't get the price you got to memorize ak like do put in the work bro. So put in the work. Memorize it. You've got a week to do it. We recommend maybe doing a sentence a day and you should have it memorized. No problem and then Wednesday we will all these names and pick a name out and somebody will get to win a prize. We will go to the store before that. Pick out some really cool prizes ship. It out to you if shipping. If the post office is still open we will definitely get it out to you which we hope and believe that post offices will still be open all right. So that's your challenge for this week. Memorize averse as a family. Say By memory upload it and hopefully you get chose mic over. The Dad Tired Kids facebook group. Thanks for hanging out today..
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"So Each week we'd go over another verse and we'd try to memorize it together and his dad said to his teenage son. Hey Son you WanNa do this together and insane your son was like sure and so they start working on it and every morning before Sun would go off to To school they would spend just like ten minutes together. They'd work on memorization of the verse for that week. And talk about it and then it just developed into okay. They they did that. I First Chapter I. John and this dad had never memorized terrific before I cannot believe not only have. I'm rising it but I'm doing it with my son. This is awesome and that his son looks at them at the end of that journey and says Dad I. I would love to keep doing this. I know the Churches Kinda finished with I don but like can we do something else else and so now they're memorizing. I can't remember what book Philippians or something like that together. But that was the sun's initiative like this fund dot and so now that Sun and dad every morning before he goes off to school are sitting down in them rising or on another verse and Flippin and I mean it's totally changed both of their relationship with God their relationship with speech other. That's dad's understand what it means to decide lists kids like I mean it's it's awesome. It's totally based on scripture to simple scripture memorization so so Anyway I hopefully. That's encouragements par. Two dads are listed in thinking through. Okay what my might not be able to do. And this is where the teenage son. He's like I've never you know I'm having struggled with and connecting with him as a teenager right now to see this happening. Yeah it's awesome double In the book look you talked about. This is the stuff that you would you would Preached about and taught about. And yet you find yourself wrestling with some of these big questions face to face I had have have you experienced that as a husband and dad like If you could just be honest with us let the same way. You're honest in the book about God you know just questioning God's goodness and Jesus is hope for humanity and all that but like if you switch categories and just you as a husband and father like have you found yourself in a spot where like man I've taught about this stuff I've written written about this stuff but like in my day to day just trying to be a godly husband and dad. That's leading his family. Well like their. Here's some things. I'm really wrestling with that. Have you experienced any or that. You know Yes yes so and you know the first or there's so many things now come to my mind and one thing that comes to mind is and and I'm guessing any dad's familiar with this like the questions that kids will ask So be encouraged like pastor with all kinds of theological degrees. But I mean my kids. Come up with some questions like to get back to you on that so there's that level of just like okay and a challenging me with questions and mine current practically two dads like. Don't be afraid to say that like that is a great question. Let's let's dive into that together and not feel bad that you don't have the answer. Feel like you're just dive in with. There's there's resources we have To be able to the dive into to those those questions so sort of do that together with them But then yeah. Like parenting is a sanctifying process. And like I I think it is not uncommon for Heather and I to just be praying together at night just like God. We have no idea what what we're doing and how to how to help this child through this and they're so unique. Is that child through this. And and and just but I could like it's good to be brought to a place where you're just before God's and can't do this on my own and we need you. We need your help. We need your wisdom and to be humble and had entered into. I mean the. There's a great book called Shepherding Operative Child's heart. But that's that's Kinda famed that we think about often. We WanNA shepherd each of these kids hearts while and uniquely and in so how do we. How do we best do that? And it's not healthy and I don't have all the answers. It's funny I mean after I tell her what podcast assange is like. Oh Yeah I'm sure you're the expert to share it all because she knows I'm not an expert Berg like so I'll be the first to admit that But but I think that's the beauty like an James one kind of way we don't have to be experts like anyone lacks wisdom. He should ask God generously to all without finding fall. We have a father in heaven. Who is ready to give us everything? The thing we need is Dad's on earth like everything we need if will look to walk with him. That's why I would. I would say just anybody listening right now. Charles especially a husband or dad like the greatest need in your life is intimacy with Jesus like the Greatest need more than anything else. More than your wife or kids need a dad who Yeah knows this or that or is able to coach the wellness for that or help them wellness without like far above any of that they need you walking with Jesus and and loving him with all your heart soul mind strength because everything that they need most is GonNa flow from from that. Well Man I was GonNa ask if you had any final words for the man. That's just wanting to lead his family well but I think you just said it so yeah let's in their man. I'm so oh grateful that you took the time I know you. You've got a lot going on so thank you for carving out the time to hang out with us today We'll definitely put a lincoln. Our show notes. Everyone go pick up a copy of something. Something needs to change your newest book but David. I'm so honored to be able to chat with you today. You brought us closer to Jesus man thank you. Thanks journey pure joy man thank you. Hey guys thanks again for listening. Today's episode again. If you want to get a free copy of the data book and be entered to win two hundred and fifty dollar Amazon Gift Card before December eighteenth dad tire dot com slash Christmas. Again anyone who gives the DAD tired ministry will automatically get free signed copy the data book and the automatically automatically entered to win a two hundred and fifty dollar Amazon Gift Card. I love you guys. I'll see you next week.
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"I'm trying to make this as practical as possible for you like me tomorrow. Means I sit down with my calendar and I go week by week and I start to ask what things can I say no to so that I can be more present with my kids so that they get more eyeball time with daddy like that needs to happen today case. That's number one thing and then I ask like what needs to happen. This week. we have scheduled that we would have dates every birthday day of our kids. So my son's birthday is on the twenty second. My daughter's birthdays on the third and my other daughter's birthday on the twenty fourth forth so every month on those days we have a one on one day. Either Mommy or daddy gets us well to be totally honest with you. We've been slacking on those because of how busy schedule has been and as a result like we've fallen out of that rhythm I think our kids subconsciously feel that there's not this connection when Daddy's talking it's often. I'm I'm kind of reacting to their behavior. As as opposed to being proactive in just pursuing their hearts and part of me not being able to pursue their hearts have just missed one on one deep connection time so my first step for the day was to reassign my schedule and then my second set for the week was like I need to connect with my kids this week put on my calendars that I'm just one on one with them and I'm not being reactive to their behavior but I'm proactive. And chasing their heart and then the the last thing so again to break this down for you. It's like what do you need to do as as a coach as a as a parent as spiritual leader of your home. What do you need to do today? Like when he's the change today to help you get closer to that goal. What needs to change this week and then I would just just say what needs to change between now? What kind of exercises or things can you do differently between now and the end of the year? Don't even go crazy when you're thinking through having kids that love the Lord and are beaten to him when your old man like that can feel so ambiguous that you don't even know where to begin so just break it down when the change today. Usually it's schedule well things like that. That should probably for most of us. That's where a lot of things start in our schedule. So just ask yourself. Is there something that needs to change today. As there's something that needs to schedule can hear my daughter screaming mm-hmm. Is there something that needs to schedule this week. And is there something that needs to schedule. Between now and December thirty one and a lot of ideas could be like I. Is it a date night with your wife. When's the the last time you've just taken your wife on a date is your is there perishing in your marriage? Is there as your marriage in certain areas moving toward death because of lack of vision again. My vision is that I'm an old man on lit sitting on a recliner with a healthy marriage that I've lived that I've been in for a long time with kids who love the Lord. That's the long-term vision. So what needs to happen this week to make that happen. Well I need to like pursue my wife's heart this week or this month I need to make sure I get a day a on the calendar with her right or maybe a means of cutting my NFL. Sunday ticket Whatever subscription so that I can cut that time out and spended ended on Taking my wife or or taking giving my wife an opportunity to go fill her tank by saint. Hey Babe here's some money that we we've got now reallocating in the budget so you can go get your nails down. Go get a cup of coffee or go out with some girlfriends or whatever the thing is right. But we're we're just readjusting priorities So what needs to happen today when he's the happened this week and what needs to happen by the end of the year. Don't go crazy. Don't think two thousand twenty yet. Just think in the next month and a half. What would need to change in order for you to help move towards that vision but again set the vision in your heart? This is where I'm trying to go paint that mental picture in your head. Here's where I'm trying to lead my family and that's awesome but you also need to think through. You're not just trying to win a championship. You're trying to practice well this week. And so what would it look like for you this week. To make some adjustments so that your family doesn't feel chaotic and you're just putting the blame on them for you to look in the mirror to really ask like what what needs to change change on me and so I guess I guess men like if I if I wrap it all up your family Birlik it. They need vision. Y- they don't need you to blame them. Your your wife doesn't need you to blame her for the marriage and again I know this making general statements. Here there's all kinds. I don't know your personal situation but just for a man as a man to say like all right. I'm stepping stepping up like I'm you know. Look myself in the mirror what I need to own here and your family needs vision. They don't they don't need blamed. They need vision because when there is no vision things will perish. Something is going to die somewhere it will either move towards life or death and when there's no vision where there's no idea of what we're trying to go as a family things will start to die and so ask ask yourself like what what is it. That's dying as a result of my lack of vision and then bro like just seek the Lord Direction if you're stuck if you like. I don't know where we're trying to go. Seek the Lord James One five if any of you don't know if any of you lacks wisdom asked Lord and his generous he will give it to you. Ask The Lord for for wisdom repent rent got. I'm sorry that I've been passive or that. I haven't lead my family toward this. Would you be gracious enough. Would you forgive me. Helped me step into this this role so I can leave. My family will seek the Lord for direction repent ask for wisdom. Come up with a game plan again for today for this week and for this month breath and then again for the rest of the year vision always dictates values. That's like if you could remember one thing. This is what I wanNA leave you with the vision dictates vows values. Here's what I mean by that when you know where you're trying to go you know what you can focus on. You know the things that you can place value on. If I don't know where I'm going I'm going to start value in a bunch of dumb things. Fantasy Football Leagues let Sinar kids up for few extra things. Let's put more things on on the schedule. Let's say yes to this thing on that night or whatever because you don't really know where you're going but when your vision it starts to dictate things that you value. Well no I actually value. Oh you time. With my family I actually value with the Lord actually value time with a kind of a small group of people that I can invest my life to for the sake of making disciples and it changes the things that I value because I have vision vision dictates value And when you don't have vision menu just saying Yes to everything. Things feel chaotic. There is no Structure and things start to perish things around. You will start today. I hope that's helpful. I love you guys. I hope that makes sense to you again. WanNa give you.
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"Proverbs twenty nine eighteen says this where there is no vision. The People Perish. That's the King James version. That says that where there is no vision. Jn The people perish. Let's proverbs twenty nine eighteen. which super interesting about that and really the question that we as DADS have to ask ourselves is what what is perishing in our families in in our life as a result of our lack of vision and our lack of leadership like the very first question that we have to ask ourselves? Is there something dying in me in my family in my kids in my marriage edge as a direct result of my lack of vision and leadership. Meaning I don't really know where I'm trying to take my family And so as a result result things are failing and is it a connection. Like with your wife. Do you feel like you're marriage is like falling apart. Listen here's the truth everything. Everything is either moving toward death or it's moving toward life. Those are two options. Nothing just stays the way it is. Everything is moving toward death or toward life and so you have to ask yourself like marriage. Moving toward life is becoming more good as the as the scripture say at remember after God created things he said. This is good. This is good. This is good and then as a result of evil and send things start to move away from life and toward evil and broken nece and so you ask yourself like his mind marriages moving toward good like the way God designed things to be the beauty of marriage it God designed it to be or is it moving towards death as it moving toward broken. This is your relationship with your kids moving towards lie for it's like this is good. Can you look at your relationship with your kids the way the God looked at creation and say this is good. This is the way it was designed to be or is it moving towards Baroque inness and death. You relationship with God himself is it good Do you look at it and say Manda God's kingdom come as will be done in my relationship with God like this is the way God designed it to be. It's really good and beautiful and healthy or is it moving. Torch's death your your rhythm. Are you able to sustain a rhythm. week-to-week day to day is is your rhythm of life good or is it moving lean toward death and broken this your health your emotions your your ability to have self control like his. Do you feel yourself growing immaturity maturity and growing and self control or you feel like that is moving toward death and two broken this because the truth is where there is lack of vision and things will start to perish. Things will die and some thenia dying around you as a result of our leadership and our lack of vision and so we have to ask ourselves. I just point blank as a man. What is dying in me and in my family as a result of my lack of vision and leadership? And here's is what I mean like. Do you know where you're trying to go personally. And do you know where you're trying to help your family to go like you have a very clear vision of where you want to leave your family because the truth is when we don't when there is no vision everyone panics. I always felt this most when I was coaching soccer at practice. When we're doing outdoor and we show show it show up and I was always trying to like kind of wing it and I didn't really have a plan and the kids are being crazy and they're running all around and my first reaction against to blame because it's just chaotic and really? I'm just like I realized there's no plan here. There's no vision. And so everything feels chaotic. And it feels out of control and then I start getting mad at everyone because things are chaotic. When really I showed up without a plan and I think the same is true for us with the fan with our families when we're trying to lead them towards something and things feel chaotic or I should say when we're not leading the swords every anything and things start to feel chaotic and the houses crazy and our rhythms are crazy and our our schedules are crazy? And you you feel like you're not connecting with your wife with your kids and everything just feels like chaos around you and our first reaction is to blame. Blame your boss blame your work. Blame your hours. Blame your wife. Blame your kids disobedience or whatever but really you didn't show up with a plan or within a vision and so what else would there be except chaos and again there's grace man like I know that there's there's some very real circumstances that contribute to all of our chaos. I got a letter out of nowhere that said. Hey we you're gonNA there's no cause of action you need to be out of your house. By December thirty I that was a result of my bad leadership is just life circumstances hit and I get that. There's there's grace for that but even in the midst we know Again not to beat the the sports analogy here. But there's going to be things that happen in a game they're outside of your control and you can't blame what you do is you say okay. This is this week. Expected acted things to happen and yet we still come in with the plan. And that's what we do. As part of leading our families is really start to ask ourselves. We know life is going to hit. We know there's going to be chaos. That's outside of our control but what came we control. And what do I need to own and when you do have vision when you actually know this is where we want to go as a family so you can actually rest a little bit easier. And it's not just because you know where you want to go but you know how to celebrate little wins. Let me say that again. Because that's like super important when you have vision it actually will give you more rest. You will find yourself not being so short fused in yelling at your kids and being short tempered with them And being frustrated with your wife and again it's not just because you know where you want to go but you know how to celebrate little wins. Another way of saying this is you can't recognize can is a win if you don't know what the goal is if you don't know where you're trying to go if you don't know what you're trying to accomplish then how will you know to celebrate little things that are helping you get it there and so for like for again. I'm I'm sorry. I know not everyone's into sports. I'm not even like a super big sports guy like sports a lot but not like some crazy fanatics I like spores a group around him so I apologize for you. Know kind of beating the sports analogies here but obviously as a as a coach. I'm trying to help my my kids when games and develop and all that but really I want them just to alert like learn individual Skills I want them to learn team like how to be part of a team and work together rather You know there's a bunch of little stuff teaching him and and I know like these are all things I'm trying to move them towards As a coach and so when they do something little at practices is even something simple as make good pass you celebrate something really small are what feels insignificant. Because you know that little thing is helping you go towards the bigger goal that you're trying to accomplish if we are out there literally with no idea what we're trying to do then. It doesn't matter when you make a good pass or when a teammate encourages another not made or whatever because you don't know that that's a win because you don't know where you're trying to go and so for us as Dad's what we want to do is create vision like cast vision for our our family. This is what we are trying to accomplish as a family and then when little things happen you know this is worth celebrating And so let me try trying to make this like real practical here because I know some of you are probably getting stuck when you're even thinking I don't wear much friendly. My family like I just want my kids to be obedient and I want my marriage to thrive in like we. We have more sex and we have money in our bank account like what. That's my vision league. We're we're we're trying to go here okay. So let's step back from all of that right again. I I say this all the time. We're not just trying to change behavior. We're not try and change your own behavior. Our wives behavior kids. We always want to get to the heart of the issue right. Where was WANNA get? We want our hearts to be aligned with the good news of the Gospel and then that changes everything at the end of the day when we're old men and were sitting by God's grace and a big Ole lazy boy like a recliner chair share and were were looking out at our kids and we've been married for a long time and our kids love the Lord and we've got grandkids who are learning about. Jesus like these. Hopefully this. This is kind of our vision. Our goal as a dad right. So that's what we're moving towards. That's the that's the goal. That's the that's the long term plan is that we have been used by God to see a family. Generation continued to love him and follow him on the obedient to his word and to tell the world about his good news. I that's the goal. That's big picture stuff okay. So whatever. Whatever is Contributing to things outside of that we can just say no to that so for some of us need to hear that big picture like Bro. It doesn't matter like your kids if they're flunking Kindergarten math right now. Yeah whatever that Sox at the end of the day what. We're really trying to do. Who is help? Our Kids Fall in love with Jesus to be obedient to his word and to really love God and love people. Well we're trying to be men who are faithful to our wives the way that God has been faithful to us. We're trying to pass on a generational generation after generation legacy of people men and women who fall in love but she's US and who love people well as a result right like. That's really what we're trying to do so anything. That doesn't contribute to that big picture. We just say no like we. We don't have to focus focus on it. We don't have to get our emotions really higher low if it doesn't kind of push us towards that goal but for me. What I wanted to do is like okay? So that's the end goal but let's work all the way backwards awkward. Just I wanted to make this as practical again last night as those lay my head on my pillow I wanted to make this as practical as possible for like okay. I'm taking ownership. I'm staring in myself in the mirror and ask him. Where do I need to own and then I thought what do I need to do today or for me? I was going to bed that night so so I thought what do I need to do tomorrow morning. So that I get my team or my family in a position to move closer to that goal. I don't want my house to be chaotic. I think I don't want my family to feel like everything's kind of disorganized not functioning. Well I don't want my kids to be disobedient. But what does that look like for me tomorrow. Tomorrow will really what it means for me personally like tomorrow is that I'm actually more present with my kids because my personal schedule has been too busy and so my kids will feel chaotic when daddy schedule Inman Wami schedules chaotic. And when there's no rhythm in the House and the first thing that needs to like start to get tightened up is is my own personal schedule and rhythm and so for me tomorrow literally..
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"Well I want to dive straight into today's episode and dive into what we're talking about today Eh on today's Sunday and it's actually my daughter's birthday. You may hear her screaming in the background because she just had her very first cupcake For the first time she's it just turned one year old and down so she got her first cupcake. We just did a little family celebration and she may lose her mind. I don't know how she's GonNa react to that I know there's like a trend that this may be a Portland thing you guys can reach out to me. Let me know as maybe a Portland thing but There's a trend where people are giving their kids now. like healthier alternatives jobs to cupcakes. Maybe your family does this. Maybe you're wiser than I am. And you give them like. I don't know like a cupcake Broccoli. Broccoli cupcake thing and dead spinach cupcake instead of like. I just went to Safeway man like I just went to the grocery store and picked up a chocolate cupcake and I gave it to my daughter. She's one so I don't know if I'm the worst parent the world world. She's never had that much sugar in her life and she's probably going to be screaming in the background. That's a tangent all that to say Today's her birthday and we're really excited about it. She she may be chaotic in the background. So bear with me. I'm dead tired. I'm still recording. This podcast My bedroom after all these years in our little home and it's chaos so thank you for your Dad Grace Today's Sunday yesterday was Saturday coach. My son's soccer game indoor soccer games on Saturday and we played a game yesterday yesterday and we got just destroyed. The other team beat us. I think it was like seven to one or seventy two. We got okay. Let's not lie actually know exactly what the scores it was. Seven not be real bad and so this is I've I've coached soccer games for years. Coach soccer teams for years. We played a lot of outdoor. We're you know not to like this. Sounds really dumb. Because they're eight years old but we've done very well in their little leagues and played soccer. We've always put good teams Coach good teams and the the the kids have done really well and had fun together. And I'm trying not to like just brag on kids right now because they're eight and it's really stupid but anyway we're we've normally really done very well and now we're playing. Indoor and the exact opposite is happening. We have not won a game. I think they've the opponents in the last three games of scored twenty six goals against us and we've scored a total of four. We're just getting destroyed like a big time taking a piece of humble pie here Thanksgiving giving week and In the last three weeks and we're just getting destroyed and yesterday we're playing a game and we're getting destroyed by the other team which has been kind of the normal for us the last couple of weeks and I'm like getting frustrated. The kids coaches kids for awhile. And I'm kind of getting frustrated McMahon. We know better like the. I've taught these kids for Awhile Tom for several years. They know how to play. AWW same position and I'm feeling myself get a little bit frustrating and at the end of the game as I'm kind of sitting there just watching the other team pound goals on us. I was thinking This isn't really the kid's fault like for one. They're eight and two. They're not trying to lose like no kids showed up today thing and now I'm just going to let the other kids beat us like all. The kids are trying gene whether they're doing the right thing or wrong. Or whatever like they're trying their best none of them showed up to lose and so then I had this thought of the person that's really blame. Here is me as a coach i. I can't blame these eight year olds need to look myself in the face and Look at my I look at my face in the mirror and really just say like men like what am I doing wrong. Am I doing something. Am I not coaching them. Well and is there something. That's falling short on me than I need to take ownership of so you fast forward. The reason we even tell you about the soccer stories because fast forward I leave the soccer game. I come home. Layla goes out with some ladies from our church to celebrate a birthday party. And I'm here with the kids kids and so it's just me and the three kids and the chaos pure chaos trying to feed them dinner. I've got a baby crying. I can literally hear my daughter screaming in the background right now I can hear her screaming. Remain in one room wondering she like getting into stuff and my other two kids wrestling around and the the couch is literally flipped over. Like I walk in from the kitchen and and I go into the living room and the couches flipped over. We have moving boxes everywhere because we have to move people to listen to podcasts. It's just everything is chaos and my first reaction is again frustration. Like the kids know better. Why are you being disobedient? Why are you guys acting so crazy before bed which I don't know what kind of universal universal truth this is but like every kid just loses their mind thirty minutes before bedtime And it's just the most frustrating thing the world has been dealing with this for the whole have been a dad so anyway they're just losing their mind. Couches literally flipped over. My daughter's like digging in the trash my one year olds digging in the trash just chaos and I'm frustrated. I yell upset. I tell them. Go the room. Go Brush your teeth get ready for bed. And I'm putting them the bed and I put them to bed kind of like frustrated frustrated and I have this long speech with him and everyone kind of goes to bed grumpy and then I'm laying in bed. My wife still our Enjoying the night with her friends and so I'm just laying in bed in quiet quiet and I just think to myself the same thought that just had with the soccer team and it really is like how much of this is on them. And how much of this is on me as the dad that like. What do I need to own as the dad here because ultimately their kids and they will follow leadership and of course every kid is naturally naturally by because of San the fall there naturally rebellious and they're going to make bad decisions all the time but really like my first reaction is to blame all the time and I think it's easy for us as husbands and DADS to find herself frustrated at our kids when they're not being obedient or maybe at our wives and our marriage when things aren't thriving having when things feel chaotic on but I think it's super important for us as DADS to really ask ourselves? How is my leadership Our first first tendency is always to blame like this is. This isn't just a youth thing or meeting. Our kids thing like our first tendency is humans has always been to blame. Listen to this. Listen Genesis. Three verse nine. This is actually right. The very first time we see sin enter the picture Adam and eve decide to turn their back away from God to make their own decisions. It's decide I wonder. If God's design isn't the best and of I wonder if I should kind of make my own rules and do the life the way that I want to do life and then they sin and this is what happens in verse nine Genesis Chapter Three but the Lord God called to the man and said to him where are you and he said I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid great because I was naked and hid myself. He said who told you that you were naked. Have you eaten from the tree which I commanded you not to eat. The man said listen to this first of all the man said the woman whom you gave to me. She gave me the fruit of the tree and I ate verse thirteen. Then the Lord got to the woman what is it that you've done. The woman said the serpent deceived me and I ate super super fast and fascinating. God says to Adam what have you done he says. Well that's this woman. You gave me giving me a better woman. I probably wouldn't have eaten the fruit turn fault. And then he asked the woman eve. Hey what did you do. Did you give some fruits. Your husband will you gave me the serpent. The serpent's here had he not been here. I probably wouldn't have the fruit. Everyone's passing blame to another person. It's literally been in the very first pages of the story of humanity from the very start When when we do something that's frustrating? We get in trouble or something that we don't like our first reaction is to blame. Just I mean you know this girl like you've got kids and you ask your kids. What did you do the first thing my kids do this all the time well? He made me while she made me while they started it. And we get mad at our kids for that right like Croatia until our kids. Hey own up take responsibility. What did you do? Is there something you need to be responsible for. Apologize for but just watch yourself and how much you wants to blame other people. This happens to me all the time you know when it happens most like when you're most aware that you are blaming as usually usually when you get hurt this is the funniest thing that we all do this like you. You could stub your toe in the middle of an empty living room. When you're by yourself and you just the first thing like who put the WHO? Who put the couch there? Who What Kid? Why did you like? We're just immediately starting to blame somebody like somebody else's responsible for this It's our first reaction isn't usually comes out when we're hurt but we always find ourselves when we're frustrated like who can I pass the blame off to and so when our kids are being disobedient when in our marriage isn't thriving when our household feels chaotic. Are I thought like naturally this is just you and your human sinful. DNA your first thought is who who can I be mad at who is responsible for this because certainly the subconscious thought is. It's certainly not me like there's no way I would be responsible for this and I guess what I'm kind of revealing myself or with the Holy Spirit really revealed in me just last night as I'm coaching these kids and soccer and then kind of had a more personal snow bigger experience as I get home and I see chaos in my home. My first thought was like who am I. Who can I blame? And then the holy spirit is kindness really revealed to me like what what is. Is it in your leadership that you need to own. Is there something here and you. Is there some lack of leadership in you that that may be contributing.
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"Hey guys hope you're having a great. Start to your Thanksgiving week before we dive in today. I just want to remind.
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"I'm clearly not out chasing facing tolerance for this trying to get rich off this thing So that was but that wasn't the reason the reason was because I felt like. Oh maybe I'm not good at this. Yeah and and then same with like a book review somebody will leave like a three out of five stars and I'm like Oh you know what I'm going to hang up the whole thing Because I'm this is I'm not could at this. Had I had a dad to as a kid being like who cares like who cares if you get somebody gives you a three out of five stars or say you're the Jolo hosting podcast who cares. Because here's who God says you are That would probably roll off my back a lot easier and again. It's not like Macho confidence. It's not this fake. We just WANNA be tough dudes who don't care what people say. It's we want to be grounded in our identity in Christ. That's what we want for our kids. I'm not just trying to teach my son and my my daughters. I that you just need to be tough and sticks and stones can break your bones but words don't hurt words hurt for sure what we're trying to do is give them a deeper foundation a more more solid foundation which is who cares what people say not because you're tough but because look what God says about you. This is your identity you were holy. You are chosen. You're delighted lied in because he loved you. Not because of anything you can accomplish. And then when they get out into the real world and thing people say hard things you can just be like. Yeah that's maybe. My Book was three out of five stars or maybe my podcast does kind of soccer. Whatever but this is what God thinks of me and it's not going to rattle me to my core going to be depressed for the next ten days or be chasing fifty different jobs and careers? Because I'm looking for my identity because this is who I know I am so anyway come go ahead. I'm sorry I'm rambling a bunch. No it's okay I was just I was thinking we're talking about how when Like a child is raised in such a way way that their identity is shaped by their father for good or bad Like what do you do then when you find yourself a thirty year old dad yourself self and you are just Kinda just confused about your identity and Don't always feel like do you are who got called you to be do feel like that kind of that child. Wouldn't you think of Your Dad. You just I don't know maybe heart starts pounding and you're angry or you're you feel sad or like all those so interesting how you know. I'm I'm thirty five now and I'm like I can think about my dad and just start weeping you know and Like what do we how do we. How do we move forward? How do we like find our identity now? I think not that this isn't isn't the answer like to just solve that but I hear for somebody. That's still struggling with it. Here's what I'm telling myself One thing is he's just knowing that the motivation behind majority of what I do is chasing identity because of the lack of presence that my dad had that alone is helpful just to like be able to put words and tie connections there. Start identifying some of your behaviors as like why am I. What's my real motivation here? Oh it's because I'm just trying to figure out. Am I worth something. So that's helpful by itself. The other thing is my my heart longs for the day as we talk about Rosa revelation. Where there will be no more tears and nor pain more sickness like this? These are all sickness pain hurting and Jesus will one day make that all new. I think we get glimpses of Heaven here. On Earth Praise God the Kingdom of Heaven is invading fading Earth at this very moment and so there are moments of healing for me. I will sit and be like man. I don't have to chase that because this is what God has done in. This is who he says I am but I will always care. There will be holes or ruts that I will die with And and in that time my heart longs for Jesus to make things right again one day. I can't win for spouses. I think it's important to just like I don't know if he's still call like Gospel each other but like when you start like for me for example not having heard a lot of words for my dad I always was wondering like does he love me you know he never ever ever said I love you like I don't I can't I try and remember and I don't know if I fabricate a memory or two here and there but I don't remember we're hearing it and certainly I'm quite positive I've never heard him say I'm proud of you and so now Sometimes you can project those things onto God as your father and an and sometimes I do wonder like am i. Am I making God proud. I don't even know if that's like a right question but like wondering. Would God say he's proud of me like you know. This is layla with whom I'm well pleased like doubtful. All ever hear those words you know and like just having somebody to kind of remind you like what is actually true about God and like what are some things that are maybe it just hurts from your own childhood or just you just projecting like who your earthly father was and you're projecting that onto your heavenly father and it kind of teasing those apart and Yeah I also wanted to say as we're talking the wives That I said this on a podcast. I was a guest on this week but for the wives listening. Just want you to know that your it more than like probably your your your husband's friends more than his bosses more than really maybe anyone else you carry such power in the things that you say to your husband and your husband Most likely is walking around with a lot of those holes or ruts in his life because he didn't have a dad say everything regardless of how awesome is dad is. He's got dad wounds somewhere. He's somewhere on the scale and the things that you say to your husband Carey deep deep weight. And there's many men who just need to hear from maybe their wives that babe art if for a wife to say a bear on proud of you you have what it takes and even if you don't accomplish anything your loved like the was just saying to Gospel each other to to sit like this is who God says you are and you don't need to chase after things like you don't have to prove yourself in this family you don't have to prove yourself in this marriage or to our kids you just deeply loved by God and we love you and most importantly like God loves you based on who. You are not anything you can accomplish. Those words wives like we'll we'll carry deep deep. Wait for your husband's and again I think there are a lot of husbands who are kind of walking around there. The problem solvers in the family. They're tough they're strong. They're whatever but man there's Oh boy under their who's wounded and they may just need to hear from you wife to say like to tell them the words the truth of the Scriptures the truth of the Gospel that they never heard from down so that's my encouragement to the wife's. I'll just end here by saying this again like Dad. You'RE GONNA BE MESSED UP UP. Your kids are going to have wounds. All of our kids are going to have wounds one way or another regardless of how we do at this because we're human and were sinful and were broken and we're going to hurt them in some way And they're gonNA carry that for their whole life but would we be parents who hold hold up a mirror to our kids and as they look in it we just point and say this is who God has made you to be so that as they go Out into the world again. We're not just creating like tough kids. Were creating kids who really were not creating kids or encouraging kids. Who really can go back to the truths of the Gospel that their loved? Not because you have the biggest numbers God said are your anything special on earth but you are loved because God loved you. That's it God loves you and your loved and delighted in by the God of the universe and I think when we do that we helped set our kids up for success. So they they don't they don't turn into confused adults who like many of us run around the whole their whole lives searching for identity and searching undefined worth. I hope that's helpful. Leyla thank you for hanging now. I know you're exhausted. It's been a crazy week or so grateful that because listen again if you give to. The Dad Tired Ministry. That's going to go to these conferences into our ministry for next year helpless. Lower the costs you get a free signed book out of it. We'll send that to you and you'll also be entered into win a two hundred fifty dollars Amazon Gift Card to pay for Christmas gifts for Christmas this year. We love gas. Thanks for listening to you later.
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"How's it going guys. Jerry Lopes back here with you on the dead tired podcast. This has been an absolutely incredible week for dead tired <hes>. I can't even begin to explain how amazing this week has been. It's the launch for those of you who don't know it's been the launched of the DAD tired book which I have been working on really for the last two years and it's actually been arriving in people's hands and people seem to be really enjoying it which is always converging <hes> but man. It's just been huge. You guys support for those of you who've been longtime dad tired listeners at and bought the book and just sending me messages. It's just been honestly it's surreal. I don't know how else to describe it. Just absolutely absolutely surreal <hes> blown away man. I'm just I'm totally blown away. God has been good. He's already using it to draw hearts back to him. which is really that's all? I want me and I just want God to use this book as a way for men to find rest for their weary souls. We're tired DADS AND <HES> I'm tired. You're tired the reason you're listening to this episode because you're trying to figure out what it looks like to be a man who's chasing after God and some of Your Dad's somebody who oh aren't dads some of your just men who are listening just trying to be more faithful to Lord and regardless of where you're at like most of us were just tired retired men and so my goal is that this book would bring rest your soul and it seems like so far that it's doing that in many ways so thank you guys. If you haven't picked up a copy I would love for you to pick up a copy and I just hope that it encourages you <hes>. If you did not get an email about the cruise you didn't win. Unfortunately somebody won the cruise which is super excited. I'm excited for that guy to bring his wife to come on the data cruise but if you still want to come on the cruise you have a few weeks left. September the end of September our is when crews registration ends for that so definitely would love to have you guys come on the cruise but you've only got a couple of weeks left to sign up. You don't have to pay for the whole thing by the into September but you do need to sign up. Make your initial deposit by September. So if you want to go on the cruise you didn't win. We'd love to have you come on. <hes> definitely go to data DOT COM. Click the cruise tap so you can come join us on the cruise before registration ends on that and speaking of registration ending. We've got to conferences one in Ohio and a couple weeks and then one in Austin Texas in November and the one in Ohio is filling up like we already have more people signed up for that than we originally expected so if you're holding now now I definitely recommend that you get your tickets now before that one fills up <hes> so anyway. I'm super excited. Come you guys out in Ohio and spent some time with view over there before we dive in today's episode which by the way I've got a guest on today's named David he owns a company called Rhodesia peril <hes> but more than that like he's just a normal dude. He's a normal guy normal husband and WHO's trying to figure out what it looks like to fall in love with Jesus into live radically in his normal everyday life life and I really love that I'm like I wanNA start having more guys on the show that aren't necessarily authors or celebrities or professional athletes are whatever like they're just normal dudes who who are trying to figure out what does it look like for me to be a worker or try to own a little small business and to fall in love with Jesus more help my family fall in love Jesus more and <hes> so I think David May he's done a lot of things but more than like all the cool things he's done. I just love this heart as like a normal do- trying to follow after Lorne figure out ways to help kids kids do that. He's he's a young daddy's fairly newly married. <hes> you know he's not like super doesn't have tons of years under his belt when it comes to marriage but <hes> <hes> he's just trying to figure out what it looks like to be a dad and have young kids into fall Jesus. I love it. I think you guys are going to be encouraged by him. <hes> he's got some really cool perspective that is going to be helpful for you <hes> before we dive in today's episode though I do WanNa take my friends over at blankets for sponsoring this episode if you've never heard of bleakest. I really do like them. I think they're really cool APP. Most of us is young. DADS don't have time to sit down and to read a book and to learn <hes> although PS. I hope hope that you do find some time to sit down and read the entire book but to like sit down and read stacks of books is really hard. You always hear all these successful like CEOS. They read like thousands of books and and you like how do you. Where do you find time to do that. I'm a dad like working husband. I never have time to sit down and read so if you feel like that I wanNA learn. I WANNA learn more but I don't have the time to just sit down and read a book. <hes> blinking is going to help you. It's one of the most useful APPS that I have on my phone what they do is they've got a massive library thousands of nonfiction books which they condense down into the need to know information all the key takeaways <hes> that way you can either read it really quickly or you can listen to it really quickly. which is what I personally like to do? I like to listen on my commute or while doing the dishes or while. I'm cooking dinner. <hes> just try to bust out a book or two <hes> even daily. I'll I'll try to get through those <hes> just to keep my mind sharpy. Keep learning. They've got all kinds of book business books health books <hes> the kind of the be the bestsellers new titles. They've got a massive library. There's over eight million people who use news blankets so it's really it's a it's a it's a really really cool APP. I sincerely thank you guys are going to enjoy it. <hes> to the books that I just recently read I want to tell hey guys about one of them. <hes> actually reread it again. I read this book constantly. It's called start with why by Simon Sinek Simonson is one of my favorite authors his book in particular start with why I'll go back and listen to that blink is just kind of the key takeaway versions of that book often because I just find it to be so helpful. <hes> I use is that kind of language a lot on this podcast but also with some friends when I'm just talking to them about what it looks like to figure out how God has wired them for their purpose Simon Sinek. It's not necessarily Christian book but it's a very very good book on just how you are personally wired and <hes> y you do what you do. There's another one called emotional intelligence <hes> by Daniel Goldman which is another great book. If you haven't read those and you feel like you don't have time to read those <hes> jump on blankets and just <hes> you know listen to the condensed version. It's going to be helpful for you..
"dad" Discussed on Dad Tired
"This interview with mike fisher mike super grateful that you're hanging out with us today for some of the audience who may not be familiar with you. Maybe just catch us up. What are you up to these days. Tell us about your family well well. I'm <hes> married for nine years and <hes> it just i've been retired for about a year some trying to transition retirement enough to two young kids six six months and four and a half two boys jacobs a._m. Wife's name's kerry and <hes> <hes> relive a little bit of different light but we're definitely grateful and blessed and <hes> discount enjoying a little bit of time to summer at home <hes> off tour orrin <hes> i school for my <hes> for my son isaiah so it's a big day. That's exciting man <hes> nine years. Do that's a long time yeah yeah. Where did you get married later ten years coming up on ten years okay. We got married july ten two thousand ten so yeah yeah yeah. How did you carry me. We met we met at a concert one of my good friends. Actually my mentors was good friends with her band leader. Who is now my best friend then. I pay for all his dinners obviously so they they kinda set it up where we'd meet at a concert in toronto which wasn't i'm too far from where i was playing and <hes> what is actually see so as a bit of filter. She made me go through meet and greet because she was like like well. What if he's a little strange. I don't wanna have to hang out with them backstage and be awkward and so i go through this meet and greet and little kids little girls thousand one allied goodness. Anyway ended up going fine. We all went. We're win after with her band by now. We actually we. We didn't really have a first day for about three months. We just talked on the phone regularly and got to know o._h. Other which was awesome 'cause come first date or is felt like i already newer yeah but but with somebody trying to set you up and they still put in the meet and greet line yeah but she she was like yeah exactly. I'm like yeah. You didn't have very good job of selling you go to bed wing man. That's how long did you guys date before. We got married. We are we dated about a year and a half <hes> yeah we got engaged after a a year and then a year and a half married so that's awesome house the six-month-old doing he's doing good. He's <hes> he's just a happy baby. Always he's smiling. He's decent sleeper but he's a he's awesome. I love a certain be fun. Fun age or personality is is coming out and he's awesome a lot. I've heard a lot of guys talk about <hes> like bonding with their kids as a dad normally takes a little bit longer just because we guys typically bond shoulder to shoulder like doing stuff as opposed to women are obviously growing the baby and face to face and if the recipe and all that stuff so <hes> did you experience experience or was there just like an instant connection for you. I found like the first one was isaiah was a little different and i was. I was playing so i wouldn't see him <unk> as much <hes> <unk> early on but when i did i mean i love always love babies have been around a lot of babies and your first one like everything's so new <hes> <hes> and i think i bonded pretty well with them. <hes> and then the second jacob found because isaiah was like four years old i i found i was spending more time with isaiah while carey was with you know jacob so i think even though i you know i've been retired. I have been able to spend a lot of time with them but that's like. Isaiah wants to do stuff. I gotta keep him entertaining. Let's go fishing and nuts do stuff to help carey while she's you know with the baby so i think it's been a little bit different that way but i love the baby i don't know i i just like the baby stage. You don't always hear it too often. I like changing diapers and everything. I don't know you just goes so quick and it's gone and you're like when isaiah was three jacob yet. You know you miss some of those. I am falling asleep under chest. You know on the couch and some of those moments but did you guys talk about before he started having kids. How many league wanted to have yeah. I've always i came from. I have three other siblings and my mom's you know come from families. She there's ten ten of them and my dad's got five siblings or six of them so a big family. I was like wow. I kind of walk forward. She was like let's. Let's see how one goes then. We'll take it from there but we'll see we have a bit of a challenge with our second <hes> as a bit of a gap and we we had some challenges but we'll we'll see what what god has for us. We've we've talked about adoption as well and but right now it's just managing to the best we can and we'll we'll see so yeah. I know you have referred to jacob as a miracle baby. <hes> why is that. Do you mind me asking sure <hes> well. We we had my wife and i had three miscarriages in between zia and jacob and it was just a struggle it it was <hes> you know i think it did bring carry night closer together for sure <hes> even though the struggles but <hes> so so i think it was after our second <hes> after second miscarriage actually coming back out of retirement in <hes> certain play again. I was doing a workout cout in god for whatever reason i was just struggling. I was kinda. Describe out to him that happens during my work sometimes than <hes>. I don't know what it is. It's working by myself and i just heard god say inaudible but just had the seas like you're going to have a son and his name's jacob yeah and i was like okay. I don't know why jacob i didn't i told carrie right away. She's like okay and she was pregnant at that time and that was with our yet. Yeah that was after two miscarriages shoes pregnant at the time and she's like okay sounds good and then not too long. We have another miscarriage this carriage and also that is like well. We don't know god's timing. Don't know you know and then we stopped kind of you. You know you try your planning and you do all the you know the the drugs to try to get pregnant and everything and and none of that was working and so we just stopped and then and then just trying to take the pressure off and we got pregnant again and <hes> then. We thought we had another miscarriage this one weekend. She called her doctor. I like <hes>. I'm sorry and and i was like well never know going monday. She's like okay. Well <hes> on that weekend she. She went up to sleep tale one night. She's having shoes have just kind of having god like wrestling with god. I was when he told me about jacob and she's like i can't do this anymore. I can't you know if i'm not supposed to have more kids and that's fine but i just i can't take this pain anymore and says she goes the dachshund the next day and everything was perfectly weekly fine and that was jacob so when she was pregnant along them. I don't really know why jacob i'm looking his name in austin qualities gwa is the planter. He's you know he's and it was just didn't make sense well. Then i put it together one day probably about halfway through pregnancy. I was like jacob struggled with god and he wouldn't let god go all night until he had till he received his bossing and i was like both carry barium and i had wrestled with god and and that's just a reminder and that's what jacob did and now he's we kinda calm. He's still do yellow miracle baby and <hes> that's why his name's jacob and we're grateful so powerful. That's harker man appreciation that yeah how many times in your life i mean. Do you feel like god speaks to you that clearly often or was that pretty rare experience rare hersher. There's rare <hes>. It's happened a few other times. <hes> you only happens if i'm being like really intentional <hes> but never her obviously audible and indian. There's still doubts really mean but i needed to tell right away. We're gonna have signed his name's jacob. Then it's like and god is always is like why do we ever doubt him when you go through something like manna and carries like never again while i doubt him after her jacob why did we ever doubt him because he always comes through crazy how we forget even huge stuff like that and and through it all to like it was kind of cave if we don't have another son god is still instill <hes>. He's still our savior. He's still good. He's still it's not just because he provided the son jacob that he's good and and i did never wanted to have that kind of always only good because he's doing these good things for us. No that's not true and trying to live through that in the moment god. You're good all the time. We need to phrase you through all of it and i don't want to ever come. I'm across like he's only because we have a miracle baby then and and that's not that's not true. He's always good. That's right so that's good stuff man <hes> so it's like it's pretty rare for a guy to like be intentional as you. It sounds like you're being just following the lord and like trying to lead your family mainly to jesus. Obviously you know i'm looking in from the outside but like how do you see yourself as the spiritual leader of your family and just trying to be like the the first one to point them to jesus uh-huh well i can tell you i guess my goals in what that looks like first of all i've had the great dad to model myself after <hes> very present one of the most selfless guys i know people know both my mom and dad are always doing stuff for people poland selfless and <hes> strong strong christians like solid character <hes> side had you know a great role model <hes> <hes> rare yeah no doubt so i feel definitely grateful for that and <hes> first of all i think most importantly is my marriage urge and the i'm loving my wife properly and the kids are seeing that and i'm lifting her up and encourage her and <hes> you know the best away i can and we were we definitely on a perfect marriage but i'm grateful that we're all on the same page and we love each other <hes> bear very much and <hes> we've. We've learned and we've grown over the nine years. There's always bumps in the road but <hes> you know i think when kids came along when is a._o. Was born it was <hes> something just changes india where it's like hey i. I don't know i it is remember. The first prayer had was like i just wanted him to grow up to be a man of god and i didn't care if you played hockey or saying or did whatever adverts like all of a sudden like my main focus and it's like that instant calling of this is what i want to be and you now i fail at it at times of being you know being that great dad but <hes> but everyone does and i find myself prank constantly for patients and then wisdom he'll being a dad is like man. There's things even marriage. I think marriage becomes a great eight mirror of of kay what my selfishness comes out in her marriage and i have to i need checks all the time my pride right and those things and and having kids you know things come out to or you know i find myself you know asking my little four year old for forgiveness and it's like.