17 Burst results for "Connor Beaton"

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

08:16 min | 4 months ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"The dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the top ten podcasts about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host UA Shu, former dating coach turned dating sociologist. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Kraft chick as we explore this crazy dateable world. Hello data bowls, welcome to another episode of the dateable podcast. We are here to answer all of your questions about modern dating 'cause we're also trying to answer those for ourselves. And that's why we do this podcast. So we can learn to be better daters. This week's episode is a little bit, I don't know, I like that we have this mix of experts and then we have real stories. We do have an expert on this time. This is all about positive intelligence, but his entire program is really centered around every aspect of life, and we have to remember that our dating life, our love life, is connected to every aspect of our entire life. Yeah, this episode of a UA could go into a war because you're actually in his program. So you came to me and you were like, I have the best guest. I have the best guess sure zod shamin, and I'll take you his course of a positive intelligence. And I'm like, what the fuck is positive intelligence? And then you started to go into it of just how we learned how we sabotage our love lives. And as soon as you said that, I was like, we need to get him out the podcast. And I'm so glad we did because like you said, we do this podcast. This podcast started because we were genuinely curious about modern day day. And we did not have it all figured out ourselves. And now that both of us are not actively dating anymore, but we are navigating relationships. And fun fact, it doesn't stop after you go to a relationship, you never stop dating, and you just have to do things pop up and I think what I've been learning personally over the last, you know, I would say I'm hitting a year. I'm going on my year anniversary next week for going away. And I'd say the first, you know, the first like 6 months you're in the honeymoon phase, everything's great. Everything's going well and not to say it's not going great now. It definitely is, but we're just going to a different level. You know, we're heading different things and what I've learned from my relationship, talking to you, talking to other people in relationships and some friends that have been married for years. There's always something. There's always something you need to navigate. And it makes sense because you're bringing gears and years of your own way of doing things and thinking about things and processing things to a relationship and I love in this, how we break it down and see how it's actually impacting our relationships with our loved ones and how we're getting in our own ways. I was kind of reminiscing about my previous relationships and even the current one the first few months because you and I always talk about like the early stages of a relationship. And I don't think we ever went through that honeymoon phase because I think what it was was my UA bullshit phase. That's what I call it. That's what the honeymoon phase was for me. I threw out so much bullshit at this guy and every other person I've dated because I never thought being in a relationship meant it should be easy. So I made a very hard in the beginning. I want to do like the games and the chase and kind of make it not so easy for my partner, but then the next 6 months was about him breaking down my bullshit and being like, let's work on these issues instead of this like me versus you mentality. So I look back on previous dating, the early stages of dating, and I just fucking cringe, Julie. I can't believe I was that person who would never say thank you at the end of the dinner if someone picked up the bill. Like I would just act like I was entitled for some reason because I wanted the guy to feel like he should feel lucky to be with me. Like, what the hell was wrong with me? So yes, for me, honeymoon phase never existed because there's just UA bullshit phase. Well, I think even if you're not at a relationship, this episode is equally as applicable because you could sabotage yourself, even if you don't have someone to sabotage a relationship with. And that's exactly what you were doing. You finally just met someone that was willing to just break through it with you. It's interesting because I think Biden was the opposite that we were just so enamored and in love and then we started to be like, okay, this is the real selves, not that we weren't showing real selves, but it's different. Start to dig in a little more and get more comfortable. And honestly, I think actually, even if when there's conflicts, I always think of our episode with Vienna. Farron and Connor beaton, which was last season about how conflict is actually the key to a successful healthy relationship and I do believe actually it's broken down barriers that we can get to know each ourselves better. Each other better and you build something that has a lot more depth than when it's just surface level at honeymoon ish. Yeah, like wishers odd is going to go into with this episode. We have two different sides of ourselves. We have the sage self which is the compassionate empathetic, peaceful side of us, and then we have the saboteur self which is just multiple layers of sabotages. I don't even know if that's right word, but saboteurs that can come and really ruin a good relationship. And in early dating, you're a sage side comes out because you want to be loving compassionate and empathetic, but the more you grow closer to each other, the more you can use your own saboteurs to bring out the saboteurs and other people. So you kind of like feed off of each other's negative energy. So it's like it's inevitable in relationships that we have both sides, and that we always say like someone can bring out the best in you and they can bring out the worst in you. That is so true in a relationship. Yeah, or what you're saying is sometimes maybe you're saboteurs come out before the sage. So I think everyone's different based on how you process relationships, your past experience, if you're protecting yourself and how you're doing it, it's a great topic. And it definitely gives me schemas vibes. You know, like identifying how you fit in, there's a quiz you can take, you a set me the quiz. Immediately, I was like, oh my God, this exploits everything. Similar to how I felt what I was realized I was a perfectionist on schemas in. What I love about this and schemas is that there's nothing wrong with you. There's none that are better than the other. It's bore just how can you get more knowledge about the way you process things, the beliefs you hold. So when it comes up, you're able to just be like, oh, yep, it's this. Not like there's something actually flawed with my relationship. I'm so glad you found it. Yeah, I'm so glad you said that, because we always say that with personal development and self help sort of like these quizzes and assessments you can take, it's not to tell you what is wrong with you, not to diagnose you. It's to give you hope that you can work towards someone a better version of yourself and we're constantly working on the better version of ourselves. So with this episode with the schemas with the personality test, it is just capturing you in this moment in time and then gives you a road map for where you can go towards. And that's always progress. Yeah, it even reminds me of last week's episode, which got such rave reviews about securing your anxious attachment style. We know that a lot of our listeners identify this way. Similar to me, because you might never lose that aspect of yourself. You might always have some anxiety, for instance, or you might always have some perfectionism or whatever it may be, but you can learn how to control it and you learn how to share it with someone, and you learn how to not let it get in your way, ultimately. So I've been wanting to ask you this way. So you took this course, wishers odd. And you were obviously felt very strongly about it. And one of the things I admire about you is your growth mindset in that you're always looking for ways to continue personal development..

UA Shu Julie Kraft zod shamin Huffington Post Farron Connor beaton Julie Biden Vienna
"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

03:30 min | 8 months ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"Most people know that if you want to be in relationship with somebody, you're going to have to go through some hard things. And so I almost, you know, what I tell a lot of men is like find a partner that you want to do conflict with. You know, obviously, somebody that you love. Obviously, somebody that you're attracted to. Obviously somebody that you respect and all these things, but don't forget about this part, because if you do, you might be screwed. You might find yourself in a relationship with somebody where you're like, I hate how you do conflict. And now we're having to make these big decisions together. And I don't want to deal with you. And that builds resentment and that destroys and arose intimacy and it collapses the relationship. And so, you know, if you want a healthy relationship, how you do conflict should be at the very forefront of the conversation. That's great. Yeah. I mean, I was going to segue us to takeaways because I think that is like the master takeaway of this. But I think, too, it's like when think about happy, healthy relationships is the happy part of just things being good all the time and us not having that conflict. But what I'm hearing here is it's not that we need to show up like a 100% quote unquote fix. That's just not realistic in general. We're always doing work on ourselves. It's how do we get to know our partner and how do we listen to our partner. And I love this curiosity about the partner and how all of that is what takes like surface level and makes it go deeper, which is what builds this bond that makes a healthy partnership ultimately. Yeah, and I think, you know, if people are wanting something that's not conflict oriented, what we probably could wrap with or talk about is appreciation. You know, I think appreciation is the currency of intimacy in many ways. You know, and if you want intimacy to thrive and flourish in your relationship, how you express appreciation and gratitude towards your partner towards the relationship itself. All of that is going to determine the quality of the connection and maintain it, right? Appreciation is relational maintenance. And so making sure that we can actually engage and appreciating one another and everything that we do is very, very important part. And I think that we notice when that falls off, like it definitely impacts the relationship. So it's one of the toss that in there as well. No, that's great. I think it's like we forget when we're dating that we are two people coming together that have, in some cases, like 20, 30, 40 years of life experienced before even meeting each other. And there's so much rooted in their family dynamics, how they were brought up, like all of that, that we can't just expect that there is no conflict. And there's no, that someone's going to think the exact same way that we think. I think that is what you're saying Conor, it's a fairytale that that's when the credit stop at the movies. That's just not how relationships work. And I think people want to bail when that happens, but conflict is inevitable. So I love this piece of how can you find someone that you can navigate it with? That's willing to do this deeper work and truly understand you. And not take it personally and just fight back, but really understand where it's coming from. I think that really is so key in finding that healthy relationship. Yeah, and I think we also need to check our expectations. You know, I think the modern dating world is interesting. And I'm grateful that I'm in some ways. I'm grateful that I'm not in here right now, because I think it's challenging. And I think, you know, COVID and dating apps and all that kind of jazz has thrown in some complications..

Conor
"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

05:52 min | 8 months ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"I would cry. It was like a surrender of like, oh my gosh, like you get it, you see me, and now I can let go of the need to prove anything right now. And so, you know, again, I know that we're not always in those moments or sometimes conflict gets us to a place where we are both very upset but I remember the first time that that happened early on in our relationship and just thinking like, oh my gosh. Yeah, like you're actually moving me out of a shame spiral by being able to stay grounded in the space. Because the moment that you continue on is the moment that more of the shame enters in. You double down, you triple down. Now I'm like I'm proving my point and I'm really proving my point. Finally proving my point. And then you're like, what was my point? What was my point and you're just like, oh my gosh this is awful and gross and, you know, and you get into that space and it was like such a profound thing to have someone love me so much in that moment to say like, I'm not gonna go with you there. I'm right here. I see you. I understand what's happening because we've had those conversations. I'm going to stand firm in this, and I'm going to love you through it. And it was such a surrendering experience, like the armor would come off and yeah, I could drop it then answer one really, really brief. It also was very helpful for us to label and give a name to the dysfunctional versions of us that would show up in conflict. So you've probably heard us say it, but like Vienna's was the point prover and mine was the jackhammer, right? And so that was also helpful because we could then identify it's like, oh, she's really in the point proof of right now. She's really trying to it's like, okay, I can hold space for this because I know I know where she's coming from or when I would go into this jackhammer space. Sometimes she would just say, she'd be like, you're jackhammering right now. You know, she just look at me and be like, the jackhammer. I'd be like, yeah. I am able to it. And yeah, so just put a label to that part. And that can be a fun exploration as well. Fun. Quick question. Do you two see a therapist, individually? Individual. Okay. So, okay. And then my other question. My other question is, so it is enlightening to hear this conversation from the both of you, but not every relationship can be who you two are with your backgrounds, right? So in, I guess these relationships where our listeners are listening to. I feel like one person has to lead the way to talk about conflict and how to cope with conflict. So in.

Vienna
"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

05:36 min | 8 months ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"And so I always say, conflict is like this flag in the sand that says something very important is happening here that is so worth paying attention to. If you are in conflict, if there's any kind of reactivity, your system is telling you that there's something that predates this moment, right? That needs your attention that needs the relationship's attention. And so I just wanted to make sure that we started with the origins of how we relate to conflict as a working understanding of why you might not be interested in being in conflict. But seeing if there's a reframe here to say, okay, yeah, this is not thrilling, and this is not fun, but I also understand that something very profound and healing can take place here. And it's not just surface level. Well, that's basically where I was going to start is that, you know, what we did where we started our process was understanding and starting to communicate with each other about what our origin story was around conflict. And how we were both individually showing up in the conflict within the relationship. So point proving, and then either avoidance or jackhammer, right? Like, gonna shut this conversation down. Starting to understand each other in the sense of why we were approaching conflict from that perspective. So that base level understanding. Like a lot of people get into a relational dynamic and they're married and they don't even understand why their partner is reacting to a conflict or a discretion in a certain way. But if you have a different understanding of like, oh, right, your father tried to manipulate you and gaslight you constantly and you feel like you need to protect yourself right now. Well, I can have a lot of empathy for that. But if I just am focused in on, you know, you're pissed off that I didn't take the garbage out. And, you know, I forgot to buy something. Then I get lost in my capacity to have empathy, understanding, compassion, et cetera..

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

05:39 min | 8 months ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"Again, that's finding your person dot com. Usually what we see in working with people over the years is like people who get into relationships with one another..

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

05:48 min | 8 months ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"And even though there had been time and space between it, I think there was still a part that wondered or thought maybe this person would reenter into my world. Yeah, there was a tenderness there, right? It was like this person had reentered another relationship and Connor was actually coming off of a relationship. And so it was interesting because it was a very there was familiarity to for me in my experience of it. There was familiarity and like, oh, this is really tender and raw. I've been in the situation before where a person can change their mind and go back into a dynamic that they had before. And as Connor was exiting this relationship, for me, there was a sensitivity there. I was like, oh, this is either like my wounding or this is going to be such a beautiful healing opportunity for me. You know, that line is so thin. And it's so heart right. It's like wisdom and discernment and yeah, like our awareness and our ability to have these conversations with each other is oftentimes that difference maker between just being in a pattern versus being in the healing of something that gives us that new ending. I'm grateful that, of course, where our relationship developed into was the healing for me, but there were times in the beginning stages where Connor was definitely pulling me back off the edge a bit because I was like, you know, I know this, you know? This is so familiar for me. And I definitely don't want to experience the same thing over and over and over again. And so yeah, there was definitely a Ron is there even though there had been a lot more space between the ending of my previous relationship than for Connor. So there was this fear of history repeating itself that he was would potentially get back with an ex-girlfriend? Is that kind of what was showing up for you? Yeah, I wasn't sure. That I was going to go back. No, I didn't know that, yeah, I don't know that I was concerned about that. But I think just sort of like you're full availability, right? Got it. Got it. It's like a normal question, right? It's like if somebody's coming out of a relationship, how much time do you normally need after that relationship? Because it was, you know, it was a more long-term relationship that I had done that I had exited. And so there was apprehension on her part. I see. And that makes sense, right? I think that's even if you haven't gotten out of relationship recently. We're constantly wondering how ready and other person is. And sometimes we just don't know. So something you said earlier Connor that made me think, well, that's so true with love comes logistics. So what do you think is the chicken or the egg here?.

Connor Ron
"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

04:27 min | 8 months ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"Com. Okay. Let's get into it with Connor and Vienna. So what is a healthy relationship? I think all I learned these days is that your relationship is really informed by your childhood and your upbringing. So if you know that your upbringing did not give you the best example of a healthy relationship, how do we know what a healthy relationship is? So this is why we're having this discussion with Conor beaten and Vienna fair and who you have been studying this. And can give us examples of what a healthy relationship is. But who are they? They're both in their mid 30s, curly live in New York, Vienna's from New York and Connors from Canada and they're married and they just had a baby boy. Congratulations. And welcome back Connor. We had him on for a very popular episode called socially distant yet emotionally available, how a season 12 episode won. And we're so happy to have you with your other half here. Vienna. Welcome Vienna to our show. Thank you excited to be here. Senator jam out with this one. You two are so cozy. It's so funny. I'm in New York right now and it just rained this morning. So it just feels very cozy right now. It's so great that we're in the same city 'cause I feel the vibe already. Vienna is a licensed marriage and family therapist in New York and the founder of mindful MFT, which stands for marriage family therapy, right? You got it? Yeah, okay. NFT, and there's MFT. I much prefer MFT. And personally, just for me, I'm going to fan girl out. I've been reading your studies for so long and following your content. And my friend Emily and I discuss your content all the time. So it's just blushing because I'm like, wow, I get to talk to Vienna today. I'm going to give my shout out to my friend Emily, who's going to freak out because I'm going to call her right after this. That's awesome. And hi, Emily. Excited. Oh, she's gonna freak out. That touches me. I love to hear that people, yeah, like read the content.

Vienna Connor New York Senator jam Conor Connors Canada Emily
"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

05:11 min | 8 months ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"No matter where you are in your mental health, it's just one person stops trying just doesn't work. Right. So I think it's having a partner like Logan has said her interview with us. She and her husband are dating and they just never stop..

Logan
"connor beaton" Discussed on Conscious Millionaire Show ~ Business Coaching and Mentoring 6 Days a Week

Conscious Millionaire Show ~ Business Coaching and Mentoring 6 Days a Week

01:49 min | 1 year ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Conscious Millionaire Show ~ Business Coaching and Mentoring 6 Days a Week

"What's an app that you like for my business. I love using slack. It's an internal communication tool and it has fundamentally changed the way that we communicate so i recommended to every business owner whether you have a va or whether you have one hundred employees what you know my personal favorite question because it's really what my life is all about is what is conscious mean to you. Connor consciousness in conscious for me is bigger than thinking and it's really about presence. Right is a great quote that says consciousness can exist without thinking but thinking can exist with consciousness. And so for me. It's about letting go the thoughts and being present to somebody else in that moment. And what's the legacy you wanna leave at legacy is leaving things better than what i found them. So the legacy is again around reducing socialized Isolation amongst men. Because i feel that will positively impact everything from divorce rates to spousal abuse to all of the important things that we want to shift. Is there a koch. You wanna give a shout out to. Yes so the minute ford foundation. It's a scholarship fund that we've that we've built for underprivileged young men who don't have access to this type of stuff and we'll have linked to that as well on the show notes at conscious millionaire show. I wanna thank you for listening today. Because this is the show for you. The high-achieving service business owner coach consultant. Who wants to make a big impact and big profits. I'd love to hear from you. What's the biggest challenge. You're facing right now on your business. Send it to me. All you have to do is go to conscious millionaire. Show dot com. And you can send me a written or voicemail and i will get back to you personally. I'm looking forward to connecting with you on the next conscious millionaire show and connor. Thank you so much for being.

Connor ford foundation koch connor
"connor beaton" Discussed on Conscious Millionaire Show ~ Business Coaching and Mentoring 6 Days a Week

Conscious Millionaire Show ~ Business Coaching and Mentoring 6 Days a Week

04:36 min | 1 year ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Conscious Millionaire Show ~ Business Coaching and Mentoring 6 Days a Week

"Dot com. Send me a message. It can be a written message voicemail. It's all at the top of the page. It will come to my private email. Nobody else will see it. And i'll respond respond directly to you and now it's time for the conscious questions kind of what was one of the big successes you've had most importantly. How did he change your view about what you could achieve with your life. Yeah so last. Year launched a launch a product of event that generated just shy of one hundred fifty thousand and under a month. and congratulations. Thank you thank you. And before that you know i had come from working the corporate company i was in the waters of entrepreneurial for about two years. And you know. I was so used to putting time in and getting money out. Ride the sort of punch-card approach and this really shifted my mindset to see what was possible of when you put something out in the world where you create an experience that taps into what people are ultimately looking for you. You create an invaluable service right end and what we were doing again was tie into the pieces that i talked about before we created something that was shifting business in humanity in it was tapping into people's purpose and And people responded so it was. It was nominal changed my mind set on money. What are three nuggets that you could share. That would help every entrepreneur listening become more successful first and foremost. Don't stop learning Not just from books but from people people stories matter and people stories will shift your life in the way that you show up this number one. I talked about it before but empathy. It is the greatest game changer that you can implement an. It's the greatest game changer that you can do right now to change your business and the final piece this is. This is my favorite as mike every piece. It's stop trying to win over the haters. And there's a quote by scott strategy. Stop trying to win over the haters do not a jackass whisper and it's something that stuck with for a long time because when i first started my business i spent so much time on the people who disagreed and it was taken away from the people who got so much value out of what we were doing. That's right now. And that's what i say about conscious milliner. Either you wanna make a begin packed with your life and make big profits together or you don't and that's fine. I don't have a judgment about what you want for your life. That's what i teach it either. Interest you or it doesn't interest you you know for all of us. You're listening and i know one of the reasons you get up in the morning is that you want to find more clients. We only need more clients. That's the only way we can build our business. What's your number one marketing tip for getting the right leads forgetting or at least it's really.

scott strategy nuggets milliner mike
"connor beaton" Discussed on Conscious Millionaire Show ~ Business Coaching and Mentoring 6 Days a Week

Conscious Millionaire Show ~ Business Coaching and Mentoring 6 Days a Week

04:50 min | 1 year ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Conscious Millionaire Show ~ Business Coaching and Mentoring 6 Days a Week

"That's the key is there's the beliefs is kind of like the first step and then the supporting another really engaging another is the biggest piece because it's not about specifically one percent it's about the group as a whole what you know if you're listening you're probably like me. You're an entrepreneur. He may work from their home. At fact almost all my clients work from their homes and it doesn't mean to not building seven figure businesses. It's just the way we all kind of like to do it today. but one of the problems of doing that is that we are in a separate environmental the time so the fact i have all these virtual people who work with me and we got on zoom and skype and all this and it's great. It's like we're there but then it's also like we're not there and i think one of the things that's missing is community. Why do you think that it's so important to have a community for your business off so so so many reasons. I mean i is sanity. So they're like you have a group of people who are doing the same crazy journey because let's folks people you know. I have a joke that all entrepreneurs a crazy so i actually believe that but i wanted to find it. I think only crazy people believe in things that don't yet exist and real entrepreneurs believe in a vision. That's not yet fully manifested and then we go manifest it. Yup yup absolutely. It's a. it's a huge piece. I think a lot of a lot of people. It's the worst thing that we can do is socially isolate ourselves if you think about the prison system. That's the worst thing we can do. So so first off the major piece is sanity just help us keep a same but also to give different perspectives right. We're one perspective so when we have a community around us that supporting us they're gonna give us different insights going to challenge us. You know they're going to call us forward into motivating us when maybe we don't have the energy to put the effort in so there's so many so many benefits to having a solid tribe around you who are supporting you and also giving back. I think that's the piece of luck people mrs. How great does it feel for you to give back to other people in your life. Well and i think that by giving back. Because i'm a huge giver is that there's a synergy that occurs and it's kind of like even europe business coach on enthusing coach. I can't think of any business session that i've done with a client that i didn't also grow because i have to dig down and be connected to their soul level and listen to their and find out what's the next step for them and what's the next..

skype europe
"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

04:37 min | 1 year ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"This conversation an incredible. And definitely one that i feel like all to a couple of times over but i think the biggest takeaway that i got from this is that instead of looking for someone. That's emotionally available. Look in yourself and see how it will you are and i think like This exercise you did with three waterfall. But sometimes you think that you've done all this work but there's still more out there and it's also putting the work to practice and having those difficult conversations like it's easier to do this like more theoretically but it's harder to do it in practice with someone and i think there's a big difference between being emotional and emotionally available very big difference. My biggest takeaway is what you're saying. Connor is the disconnect that we all feel everything is in our head and we saved all the time so in my head right now because we don't feel it in our heart we don't feel it in our core and i was reading this this article about our perception of time. And how as you get older time seems to fly by much faster because you have less new experiences so all the all the same experiences you have. It makes a time fly by. Because you're like. I've been there but as a child. You're so connected to your senses that everything you touch. Everything you feel is a new experience. Time goes by really slowly. Because you're really present and i love when kids get hurt. They yell really loud or like it hurts so bad. it really doesn't hurt so bad. But they want you to know that they're having this experience and being so disconnected from our body is something that i really wanna take away is. I want to reconnect myself with even my inner child of just going beyond my head and being logical and thinking about the past experiences how can i create new experiences so i can observe myself in a different way. So thank you for that..

Connor one three
"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

05:39 min | 1 year ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"Be able to meet those needs because halftime we don't even know what they are so go innermost right. Go in her most and build that relationship. Connect to those parts within yourself first and then the then there's many possibilities because they're not beholden to need to get something from someone else. Because i already got. I already got it. Mardi giving it to myself. That is fascinating because it kind of goes full circle to what we're talking about earlier. How admittedly did it in the question i asked you is that women are are kind of assume that there are actually available in assume that men aren't sometimes where it it might not be the case like in the sense of making it does come from yourself more and it's not always about just like kind of looking at one behavior making a judgment from wonder ways women i mean i think maybe it's just men and women like what you were just saying. Just how they attuned themselves. Look at that but are there any other ways to that. People can get more in touch with their emotional availability. Or even i think if we want to go down this route to is that big vive word vulnerability and i think. A lot of people having lost their visa card in terms of ability. And but they say that. I was watching the bachelor last night. In the bachelor is like all vulnerability show me your vulnerability. It's not that easy to just tell someone to to show is a buzzword. So how can people open themselves up to be more vulnerable instead of having someone else. Tell them just honorable. You'll be fine. What is vulnerable is such a buzzword. And it's it's gotten into this point culturally where you know. It's it's sort of used as a weapon now against people. It's not telling her yes vulnerable and this is like oh my god. It's like well maybe you haven't earned. Maybe you're not safe enough for me. To be vulnerable even earned the right from my vulnerability. Why would i give you that..

last night Mardi first one
"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

04:13 min | 1 year ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"So you'll you'll come into contact with the man who knows what he wants. And there's a little bit more clarity there. If he's done some internal work so it'll it'll feel in some ways more safe. I guess you could say. I'm trying to describe this from from the lands but it'll feel a little bit more safe it it'll feel like you have a better idea of where the relationship is going. Because because he'll be honest about it he'll be transparent about it he'll be able to say this is what i want. I want an open relationship. I'm just looking to you. Know have sachs or i'm i'm actually looking for a committed. Longterm relationship is that what you want as well. And so you'll feel more clarity from him. So those are some indicators that a man has sort of stepped into that and also he'll talk about ideally hill talk about his own growth and development so they'll be a Humility within him he'll be able to speak about his fuck ups and some of the challenges that he's faced and obstacles that he's overcome because those things won't be things that he's ashamed of And so they'll be this balance of humility but also a a sort of clarity and confidence that he'll Embody and. But i think the bigger thing that i really encourage. We're using a heterosexual dynamic. But what. I really encourage women to to be conscious of is how they feel in their body around the men that they're dating because a man that isn't doing the work or isn't present within himself will feel different in a woman's body from my experience. I'm going off of just the work that i've done. What what. My wife communicates all these types of things. A amanda amendments in the work and is clear and direct on. What he wants will feel different in your body than a man that feels chaotic. Right than a man who hasn't done those things and generally again. There's an ease and comfort and a Experience of safety. That comes along with some of those things now. That doesn't mean.

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

04:02 min | 1 year ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"What we see in a in this sort of shifted quite a bit in modern day relationships where there are a lot of more masculine oriented women. And there's a lot of more feminine oriented men and so there are a lot of men who are starting to connect to their emotional bodies and there's a lot of women who are starting to connect to this very assertive aspect within themselves and so it's interesting because if you talk to some people that are in the dating world it's like you know one of the challenges that let's just say 'em some women that i've that have reached out to me pretty regularly will say like i have trouble finding a man that can handle me trouble. Final yes You know. I've been told that i'm too much. I'm too hard to handle or you know whatever the case may be and there's many different iterations of this but for for some. It's an indicator. That dave maybe over identified with certain masculine qualities within them and a man is confronted because when they start dating he doesn't feel like he's getting the full emotional aspect to her so he might be used to dating some women that are very connected to their emotions and maybe there are emotional and all of a sudden. He's dating a woman that is not bringing a lot of her emotions into the relationship and so he's kind of like. Oh what do i. What do i do hear how to handle this. So i just had a bunch of stocks again. So i'm gonna pause there. This is this is so go because we're unpacking so much. I find that like me of this situation very interesting because things are changing. I do i do feel like speaking in the feminine and the masculine energies is the right way to do it because i gender roles are very much blurred now. But i'm just thinking back to my like twenties and how my girlfriend stated they always said i want a man who's emotionally available and then i see the way they're raising their sons and it's how many girlfriends do you have..

twenties one challenges women
"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

01:54 min | 1 year ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"That is something out of our control. The only thing you have control over is what you can do today here. And now yeah and suppo- bring it back to this week's episode of you. And i always liked to like kind of like hand. Select the season opener. We like the set it off on his tone and there are so many good ones to choose from this season so the next couple that we've already recorded like you all are infor treat. We got some good people including our moderator. Jedis so get ready for that. We saw a lot of excited people. The face group. They saw the teaser video. They saw janice it added also have some other music gas at experts in. See you know everyday person going through shit with modern dating with connor. Beata and i think the part that we really loved about him was we talked about emotional availability which we talked about is a hot buzzword but it was all about like what action can you take and it's not just about like if someone's emotionally available so besides by that socially distant yet emotionally available sweatshirt the dateable shop there is other action. You can take a. I love this episode because he does turn it around. Like what can you do to become more emotionally available thus intern. That's how you'll start attracting white like attracts like 'cause we're not psychics. We can't read people's minds. I can't even tell you julie. How many times my clients. When i was doing dating coaching would come to me and asked me to read someone's mind that's exactly what they're trying to get me to do. What do you think she means by this tax. What do you think he wants to happen. But what connor did with julie through an exercise in this episode was just so to me. It was so empowering because he was like stop guessing what other people think. And let's get into. Who who are you. And what do you want to happen. I cannot wait for y'all to listen to this episode but before we do we.

julie Beata janice today this week connor couple
"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

Dateable Podcast

03:45 min | 1 year ago

"connor beaton" Discussed on Dateable Podcast

"It's like people it's no don't take too seriously but it's like a good night out in. We're hoping to recreate something like that. Virtually for you all because we know it sucks. We'd That we don't do events and have things to look forward to on our calendars hoping that this is something that people have marked on their calendar in are looking forward to. I know i am so and people have asked what you win if you win. Most notable twenty twenty one in addition to some swag and sweden skier from her merch shop. And also just prizes that we have planned. It's also what i would call accountability. If you have the reputation of most dateable twenty twenty one you better be accountable for your actions. You better make sure that you stay true to your date ability throughout the year. I think for anybody who wins title. All eyes are on them right and we want to make sure that they are putting into the universe. What is the most dateable qualities and also received from the universe some the most a deductible people in their arsenal and i thought about this recently. Because we we're this episode. We're talking about emotional availability and then we're talking about most dateable. What does that actually mean. And i think really means about giving giving to people and let me explain this because it sounds a little bit wacky for now. I've been reading a lot about this idea of giving and receiving and a lot of us feel entitled to receiving but we're so we're so reluctant to give especially when it comes to dating julie coined this great phrase relationship chicken where everybody's like afraid to step forward in a relationship to say. Hey i you. I want to the next level. So then what happens you stagnate. Nothing happens when you give in relationships or indeed ing you do not expect anything back and the way. The universe works is at once you give. It has something to turn on. That's what makes a universe go around it. We all stopped giving into the universe..

julie twenty twenty one sweden