4 Episode results for "Claudia Hammond"
The Art Of Rest
"You know he must be fit and we must look a certain way. We must do this and we must go certain things. Do we really need to do. All of those things would be happier if we were arresting and some of those moments in some way way reading all whatever way mentally take on you have to show regrets mentally into me into then Talil Welcome to mental yours. Metro couldn't case weekly podcast on all things mental mental health. I'm Ellen and I'm the fat and this week which ended Claudia Hammond. She's a writer. Broadcaster and psychology lecturer. She presents BBC radio. Four's all in the mind podcast first and has written several books on mental health. We're GONNA chat and to her about her latest book which is called the art of rest I think we need to start valuing rest and saying its benefits in the same way as we do sleep because so many people are just completely overwhelmed named by their to do lists and there is just so much on them and people many people combat are and it just really adds to everyone stress and I think for the sake of all our mental. It'll health. We need to start taking more seriously. This might be a silly question. But what are you defining as rest is it just sitting and watching. TV is it. You have to do nothing what what is rest when I'm talking about rest. I don't mean having nap because sleep is great but I'm not talking. You might sleep on talking about something you do when you're awake which a isn't work which is not just necessarily pure enjoyment but something that makes you feel relaxed and makes you feel rested and that will be different things things for different people. And one of the things we've looked at is the activities that people find the most restful and have counted down in the book top ten of those and they will be different for different people and so it could be watching. TV It could be Going for a walk in nature it could be it could be doing. Ain't nothing but a lot of people find doing nothing really difficult. Were there any big surprises few. When you got the results of this study back I was really surprised by I came top which was reading so eighteen thousand people from around the world for one hundred thirty five different countries took part? First prize was how many people were interested enough. The topic of rest to take part in something that took thirty five forty minutes to fill in and so two thirds of people said that they wanted more rest and I wasn't that surprised by that but I was surprised that reading came top as the most restful activity so fifty eight percent people put that down and at first we thought. Are they trying to look good. You know they just trying to say. Yeah reading's what it is to try to look good or but on the other hand doing nothing came fifth so people were prepared to say that they liked doing nothing nothing and some people found doing nothing. restful so I think I believe them when they say that reading the most rascal thing even though it involves some effort vert involves some concentration and looking at the letters and working out the words on what that means and thinking about the rest of the book. All the you know it might be a magazine or newspaper. Anything thinking about all those things but I think that what is special about reading anything is that it takes you away from the immediate moment of those thoughts that might be going round around. I'm in your head at the immediate moment. So it takes you out of yourself into someone else's life that might be somebody real or not real it just takes you away from that somewhere morale's and it can also let you daydream as well and there's plenty of evidence that daydreaming if you're not ruminating about bad things over and over then daydream is good for you is a good thing and books. Allow us to daydream. So people aren't always all of us are not always concentrating when we read people's eyes carry on moving across the page but instead is where you look at tracking people's movements normally if your reading and concentrating when you get to a difficult word he slowed down because it's an unusual words but when people are doing what's known as mindless reading whether or not concentrating then they a carry on going past at the same speed and that's how you tell when people are concentrating or not and a lot of the time when people are reading. They're not concentrating. And we've all had that way. You read the page again. Because she forgot totally what you were thinking about. But maybe that's not a bad thing so I I think another good thing about reading. That's beneficial is that it's a jumping off point. I to daydream and think about other things and not to worry if someone asked me what's most relaxing thing I would say reading but I can't remember the last time. I just sat and read the do that now because youtube is just. I'm Tom Eh how how cough time for them. So I think it's one of the things is to give yourself permission to do these things. And almost reframing these things as as restful and as good do things and so we have you know Dr is full of things and there's all these things we must do and what we don't do shedule breaks we don't shedule agile the time when you're gonna read for all because reading. Maybe the thing that relaxes you. We don't tend to do that and so I think it's a question of of trying to prioritize some of those things and trying to believe that rest is important. It's not just the thing you do when everything else is done now a difficult is if there are just too many things to do and I think then you gotta start looking and thinking thinking. Have you got to do all of these things. Are you doing all these things because you really want to do these things some of the things you think you you should do. So I think we sought set ourselves high. I standards of must be fit and we must look certain way. We must do this and we must go to certain things. We really need to do all of those things would be happier if we were resting. And some of those moments in whatever way reading all whatever way or we just taking on too many things one thing that I do now that come work on that research has shown can work is to. We're very bad at working at how much Tom we've got in the future. So people tend to think that they'll have more spare time in the future and we think we'll be better organized versions of ourselves in the future and have more spare time now. The bad news is he probably won't be better organized version of yourself in the future unless you really take hike some real change. That probably won't happen but what you can do is to so because of that we take onto anything so somebody asks you to do something six months time and you say oh. Yeah Yeah I can. I can do that because you look in. Your diary looks relatively free if they were to say to you. Can you do this thing. That involves going quite far for somewhere for a day in in two weeks time your answer might be very different. You might possibly do that. I'll be forty busy if that's what you would think that maybe shouldn't be doing in six months time either because maybe you'll end saying yesterday many things because you're doing what's known as the planning fallacy. which is believing your things you can do things more quickly than you can? And you really can't do those things quickly and I think in the title of Your Book It mentions. The Modern Age is about our current times. That makes rest even more important even though it's even more difficult to find. Yeah it's definitely not really important now. Now what's really interesting if you look at studies of time use going back for decades and decades in the nineteen fifties people. People didn't have loads more spare time than we have now and so the and they had to you know people didn't necessarily have washing machines to do all sorts of things behind and so people didn't half load of spare time. It's not necessarily busier than ever. But it doesn't feel that way if feels as if we really really busy and part of that I think is that brilliant as many things about new technology are There's this overlap now. This is melody wet. Spare time watts work time. And there's on these clear boundaries so once you leave work on the even just on the way home from work you can still see the emails and even all evening. How many of us can resist looking our emails opposite eleven at night? It's a really really bad idea but most of us do it and there's nothing you can do about the word things for next day so it just gets you thinking about those things. It's really bad idea. But we can't resist it and so these boundaries have started to change between work and non work and I think that takes away some breast from us. And we've always on call in the way and you know somebody will call it. The attention economy everybody is vying for our attentional time. Nelson has lots of things we do. These days are not work but they feel a bit like work so booking anything line you've got to fill in a form and sought a time and just trying to Soltau time to some friends is a little bit like sorting out time for cremating at work here remaining all these people messaging people what's happening or whatever waiting for them to come back to you and that feels a bit light work and we do some of the work for companies now because we the booking form now. We don't phone up to do it and somebody else does something. We do a lot and that feels like work to a makes us feel less rested. I think a lot of my non non work. Time isn't restful there's lows men to do so much now restful thinking oh I'll just scroll through twitter that still feels very much attention driven. It's not yet and also social media can take you into the mindset and then start talking about something in the news or something to us knows much do with an article that either you did someone else's done and then you're not going for later know about totally and I thought it was really interesting that spending time online on on social media didn't come in the top ten when people were free to Pick anything they wanted to tool. It didn't come anywhere near the top ten in any age group so people may enjoy and you know we I personally I really liked social media. We enjoy it but we don't find it is like some more work in a way. Were there any other things that didn't make the top ten that you were surprised weren't in there. I was really surprised that looking after pets wasn't in the top. Ten finding your dogs and cats release relaxing relaxing to be with and so that was at number twelve. Animals was a number twelve. I was surprised about that. Because so many people will say that sitting with their dog or cat on their lap and stroke can his is really really relaxing. And you know we know that is the case. I'm surprised about socializing and chatting. socializing was number thirteen and chatting came number nineteen Drinking socially came number twenty. And all of those. I was surprised those income higher. And then when we look separately because we also used a personality scale Gal so we knew who were the introverts and extroverts in the group and we were really surprised even when you look at just the extroverts. Going out with friends still still didn't come in in the top ten so I think one of the things that maybe we want in order to arrest if you look at the top five role activities that quite often do on your own so Weifeng partly we want to rest from other people because it's not about enjoyment necessarily and fun. This is about feeling rested and the moment you with other people certain things also expected of. You got to be a certain way that you can't necessarily that might be different from how you spend your own time. Even if taking into account what they would like to do as well as yourself yourself so I think that may be partly what we long for us to be on our own a bit so I thought that was quite surprising interesting. Why is not resting doing all mental state? Do you think it's because I don't know how many long term studies are owner to us. What we do know is that fatigue for example? Don't pull we know that fatigue damages are various cognitive skills so it in pedes on our memory impedes on all Reaction Times we know there are more car accidents when people are fatigued We know that half of the days taken off work are stress-related so in a way if you look at the opposites of rest we know that all those things about and then there are studies looking at how people's memory can be improved by having a break And so if you get people in a room and you give them a really long list worse to learn and then you either get doing something else or they can have a break for ten ten minutes. The ones who can have the break for ten minutes a much better remembering list of words and this is study that work. That's been done in Scotland and even works with people who have Amnesia Because they've had say a brain injuries will have cognitive decline and they can't remember words very well anymore. They can remember loads more if they have a break as well and they've been studies in offices as interesting stories from South Korea where they get people to have just micro breaks at work so these might be two minutes long or or even less me. Some studies use thirty seconds. But two minutes. Long where you look out the window where you put the kettle on or you lean back chair and shut your eyes and an hour later. People's concentration is still better off termite break and at the end of the day. They're feeling happier if they've had several micro breaks and so that is evidence. I think that does does help your mental health to have breaks and lots of his wait. We wait is particularly if you're up against a deadline many of us will do the thing where we will get all this done and then my reward is GonNa make a a cup of tea and that's your ward and maybe if you possibly can. You should be doing that during the time window trying to do the work so a study in Germany is found that people were much more effective if they take their break in the run-up deadline because then you can work with the rest of it and then you've got a dome with quicker speaking of workplace. I have to bring this thing that I was losing my mind over a few seen this toilet which toilet so there's this toilet that someone is made and it's deliberately sloped Ford's so that workers We'll get really uncomfortable. They're sitting there for longer than five minutes. That's being marketed. As this will make people so much more productive because they won't be sitting on the Lou scrolling twitter wherever obviously bizarre but yeah I just I'm wondering what. Yeah that's really horrible and I think that there are some places now where people will only Often things in some shops and things people will work for four hours and then have a twenty minute break and then work again before and companies organizations and we'll see group as you get the people working much possible actually breaks a really good and if they want people to work well particularly the dealing with customers and so on if they want them to be able to be friendly they unhappy then more breaks are better and of course it's become really refer people to take an hour-long lunch break let alone an hour long lunch break every day and people might do it because it's their birthday day but it's very. It's very unusual people to do that. And they can't because there's just too much to do and I will have eat sandwiches at your desk and things like that. It's it's really not a good idea. Even if you just go and walk around the block then that does make a difference and there is good evidence to show that and so I think that employees by one of those toilets I said. That's that's a math thing to do because If if the only place where people can get moments break is on the toilet. Then let them have a moment's break on the toilet. There are also things that need to be done on the toilet so oh you know. Give people a piece to do that. But so yeah I think these ways of trying to sort of police people's time too much and and like I was saying the micro breaks of the two minutes where you lean back in your is a lot of bosses weren't like that idea. They'll having asleep and a snooze but actually it's a really good idea and you know and some places bosses is what like if they see people chatting and often difficult people's chat all say if you work in a call center the next call just comes on comes on comes on the NAS one. There isn't much opportunity to chat but actually she does chats are really really important obviously if people are doing it all day because they got to get the work done and what needs to be done but the things that bond bond people together that the things that might make except person's Day in that job because they let people so much that it's worth staying in the job that they may not enjoy necessarily that much I think it'd be good if organization started to look look breaks not as a waste of time. They're not really not a now. Secondary schools for example only one percent of secondary schools in the UK has an afternoon break. Now when I was at school is often often a break so most kids are just going straight through from lunchtime and just changing classrooms counselors the break. But that's not that's not break doc. That's just moving so the next thing I remember having morning break often break break because warning bright bright. And there's often a break. Do you think a system like that would be good in the workplace if we it kind of imposed need to get up you need to start working for. I think it would be in a way I mean essentially. I think it'd be good to have everyone have the break. They don't necessarily will have to do it at the same moment and we also know that one of the things that makes people pappy at work and satisfied with workers is having autonomy and being able to plan their day. If it's possible possible now obviously that's not always possible if something's got to be covered certain time than you know at a reception desk got to be a certain number of people at a certain time if there's a plane there's got the right people on it but but I think trying to get people show more breaks would be good. I think the problem with making them compulsory as you may. If it's too much work Josh. Then if and they said you can't come back to your desk for an hour that would be quite difficult and quite frustrating And the fact that the other day I had a problem my computer and and they had to be the profile to be rebuilt or something like that and the computer support person. Says you can't log onto your computer for it's going to take as called for an hour and in the absolutely. You mustn't touch the computer so I was forced not to do anything on the computer for a while. At first. That's annoying because I had lost two and actually I start to really enjoy. Oy fifteen minute force break and I went T- I was chatting to people I was sitting around and actually it was quite nice accord. Enjoyed it and one thing we do often people do do when when when it's their break time and I think this is the thing you could change is where you get a chance to have a break is not to then stay on your screen and do some by something book. Something Tusa map men or look at facebook that it needs to feel not like work what you do which is why staring out the window. Good or doodling or two daydreaming. All the things talk not do at school tax bill. Fear all of those things one of the things I really love about your book is the fact that so many suggestions don't cost anything because yes I think there's There's the suggestion that does a lot about self which is great. But it's sort of become like this material thing do you then. There's too much emphasis now. On how self-care is you must spend lots of money on it in order for it to into work. Yeah I think that is the case. I think that self care has been a huge commercial. Marshall Opportunity in the wellness market is now enormous an enormous market. But yeah you don't have to have a twenty five pound candle in order to have Iraq bath. You know those things are lovely things but it doesn't have to cost to do those things so You know going outside and walking around the block. If you're in the middle I love about that. What can you possibly can get outside is will help your mental health and doesn't have to be something expensive you can buy? You haven't got to go away for a SPA weekend. You could choose choose to do all sorts of different relax scientists to give yourself a break that way now. Difficult thing about being a home. Is that all the jobs still around you. And it's which is why going away so is so amazing. That is why we like holidays and going away. Let's face it because you get away from your to do list surrounding you those things that need niggling things when you need to be done or cleaning up tidying up so I think we haven't got go by loads of expensive products all to rest. How can we kind of switch off that voice? It's like you need to be doing things I think even menu is saying about your computer. The first five minutes you feel frustrated like you feel like I should be doing all these things how to be stopped. Stop doing the things that I think we do that by starting to valley rest or something. That's good for us so if we start to see it as a good thing then we needn't feel so guilty about it so nine percents people told us that they felt guilty if they rested tool Analyst told us they found rest frustrating so I think we have this ambiguous relationship with really. We don't necessarily find it. Find it easy particularly the sitting. Still doing nothing you know some people can do and like that and some people find that that really hard which is why things is like watching. TV or reading is good. 'cause you'll you can kind of switch off but it allows you to feel like you're doing something else at the same time in notting. That can be really helpful so so I think it's about giving yourself permission to say. Well I worked. I have done some work and I've done this not done that and also accepting that you are never going to get through your to do list and even if if you do. I know this is a depressing thought but even if you do get three or to do something there will be something else on tomorrow because pipes will league and things will break need mending and beano people will need your attention a need you to do things and so you have to sort of accept that we have this sort of we the stream of the to do list being gone in. Its snap and coming up vacuuming okay. I can do it and then it's like you should do it again in week. Exactly it's gone away trouble finding thing. It just gets his uncle's but again it's a sort of thing of accepting that will be around forever. It's unfortunate it's unfortunate. It's not good to be done on goal and so maybe do it tomorrow rest now stats because it still waiting for you the dust. Do you think it'd be helpful to kind of you talk about scheduling rest. I in kind of make that our to do list and say it's as important as all those other things that we do too. You know like eating sleeping. Yeah I think it is I could shuttle in and okay well. This is going to be my rest time and I'm not going to interrupt for other things because that's an important time. You may have to interrupt for other things because life will overtake what you don't want is he's resting to become another chore another kind of Ono and I haven't done my resting yet but but but I've already ready. You know had a tweet from someone. The day saying she'd been trying to do some of the things in the book and that already she was sleeping but ready. She was sleeping better at night because she wasn't wearing thanks so much because she was allowing ourselves to rest a bit in the evenings and to do some more restful things that was making them making a difference later on and so I think it is about giving ourselves else permission sort of giving ourselves a break away and not not having maybe not having such high standards for ourselves and that maiden help us unhelpful mental health because sometimes it is our own standards that are doing these things and that we wanted to the feeling busy makes us feel important and wanted in value to Nino people will excites me. Or how you how you all say on billy busy a bit too busy and and it does feel true. But how much is that just a saying. I'm really. I'm so important Alton. I'm really busy. And how much are we. Are we making ourselves feel a bit too busy now. I think there are some situations and I think particularly if people have got really small. Kids people are caring for others than I think is is really hard to find those breaks and then I think it's a question of looking for the tiny restful moments in life where if there's a pause for some reason you can just sit down for a couple of minutes all stare out the window all do do something nice even for a couple of minutes and then trying to get a bigger kind arrest may be the kind of thing where parents giving each other if there are two parents parents give each other out schiffer rest where you can spend this restaurant how you want to while the other one absolved kids so it can be a sort of almost a gift to someone else gift abreast. What are you go to us in terms of rest? I like gardening. I find gardening So Amazingly restful and so I only have to A tiny garden. But I really really like it. I've got a tiny tiny tiny greenhouse. How's that you can just? I can stand in that. Nobody else could. They wouldn't be room for that. Could just stand gross aids and things in there and just going out. I've only got down there a couple of minutes and start deadheading leading some things or checking on seeds and thinking what I'll do next and I almost feel a sort of wave of response coming over me and I feel the all the things I was worried. Sorry about going away and so now try not so easy. When the nights at the dark the days are short to try and prescribe myself fifty minutes of rest and if I'm working at home I used to eat some food lunchtime and then rush back to work and now I think now I'm going to have fifty minutes rest for the sake of my own mental health. I'm going to have fifty minutes of gardening and it's good because does he feel guilty. Because I feel as if I'm doing something and they're for me there is something about that and it's something about being outside being with plants and touching assault and things like that for other people. We'll be something completely different. You know some people hate mindfulness. Some people love mindfulness. And we'll swear by that and we'll we'll like the fact that say they do it for twenty minutes a day that it forces system set that time aside for twenty minutes a day so I think to find your own prescription for rest and then prescribe yourself that thing or combination of things so maybe you could could. Maybe you could read for decide. You will read for fifty minutes each day and make the time to do that. And you may find you really enjoy that Giant egg chose taint me mentally uh-huh if even affected by any of the issues. You've discussed today please. Contact threatens on one six one two three or go to them upside outsmarting dot org. If you've enjoyed this episode. Please give us a rate or review. Five dollars lovely. Also if you've enjoyed this come even have a shot to us on facebook. We've got a group called Mentally Yours also. We have a twitter which is mentally Y. R. S. C.. Next time the.
SYSK Choice: Your Mind and Your Money
"Today on something you should know how to deal with those embarrassing awkward moments. We all have that make us wanNA crawl into a hole. It also affects your mind. It's often so totally irrational in one experiment. They gave people a menu for a restaurant called Studio Nineteen nineteen people how much they be prepared to pay for a meal and then they gave exactly the same menu to another group of people. Tober cool Judeo ninety-seven. Suddenly people were a pet. Pay Much more to eat at the restaurant with the higher number in it name and if you want to sock away money in a savings account and not touch it put it in a bank. It sounds far away like the Bank of Scotland. Because even though you can just get that money line it feels as if it's further away means people are likely to leave it longer so in a way so you can trick yourself in the power of appreciation. You'll have a whole new appreciation for appreciation. When you hear this all this today on something thing you should know with the capital one venture card you earn unlimited double miles on every purchase everyday and you can use those miles toward travel travel expenses like flights hotels rental cars and more just book and pay for your travel using your venture card and redeem your miles toward the cost capital one? What's in your wallet? CREDIT APPROVAL REQUIRED CAPITAL ONE BANK USA NA somethingyoushouldknow should now fascinating Intel. The world's top experts and practical advice. You can use in your life today. Something you should. Now Mike carruthers. I welcome to something you should know. This is episode three hundred and sixty and let me point out that Actually few if any of the three hundred sixty episodes of something you should know are dated unlike say news or a sports podcast the content of something you should know episodes. Are It's really timeless evergreen. So if you're relaxing or you'd like something to listen to as you go about your day just remember remember. We have a large collection of episodes for you to go back and listen to whenever you like I up today tell me this hasn't happened to you again. Okay you're standing there and you're you're shaking has in your saying goodbye to somebody and you're going to walk away and then you both realize you're walking together in the same direction. Because you're cars are parked in the say parking lot or this you burst into a meeting room only to find that it's not your meeting or you're in one of those conversations as you know those conversations where it's more silence than dialogue. It's just awkward and there's nothing going on well. Those are all awkward situations and they are a part of life. And if you're the one who made the mistake you might feel like crawling into a whole but it's important to note that typically. It's not the awkward moment. That's the problem. It's how you interpret it. Joshua Clay is an associate professor of psychology at John. Jay College City University of New York and he's researched this Whole phenomenon of awkward moments and he has some advice for dealing with those awkward moments? Know that they're normal first of all and don't assume you've you've ruined everything because he really. You probably haven't everyone's done this year. Not An idiot. Everything is going to be fine. He also suggests that you call without that you say this is awkward. Oh awkward acknowledged awkward moments for what they are in it often just just lightens nice. Things up don't run away diffuse the situation now because if you don't it will always be awkward whenever you see that person or those people again for for all of eternity and get out of your own head because when someone says you have spinach in your teeth it bothers you a lot more than it bothers them. They're not particularly offended by the spinach in your teeth. They're just wanted you to know that you've got spinach in your teeth. You're just a little freaked out because it's now the topic topic of conversation but it will pass and no one will remember and that's something you should know so every time you go go buy a gas station you see the sign with the prices and the price for gas always ends in nine tenths of a percent and you've probably thought to yourself you know do they. I really think I'm that stupid that I don't see what they're doing here. Clearly they want us to see the price as a penny less or specifically nine tenths of a penny less than it really is that we see the big number. We think that's the price and the fact is we all do fall for that to some extent. Not because we're dumb uh-huh necessarily but it's because how our brain processes money and financial information differently. It's really quite fascinating. And it's more than a little odd and someone who's really explored. This is Claudia Hammond. She's a broadcaster for BBC. Radio in London and author of the book. Mind into over money. So Claudia's what is it about money and finances that makes us think and do a such such odd things. I think money is difficult because when you've got money gives you lots of opportunities and that's great but I think that money is something that we find endlessly perplexing and. I think that we tend to think that we're good spotting say what's good value and what isn't just as most of us think we're above average car drivers and yet we can't all be above average drivers because somebody's going to be average and somebody's going to be below average but likewise we think we're any good at spotting deals and it turns out that we're not very good at spotting deals and so all sorts of things can influence the decisions that we make about money and a and about price so in one experiment they gave people a menu anew for a restaurant called Studio Nineteen and off people how much they'd be prepared to pay for a meal there and then they gave exactly the same menu too in other groups of people untold. Tolbert was called Studio ninety-seven and suddenly people were prepared to pence people. Were prepared to pay much more to eat at the restaurant with the higher number in its name. Aim which isn't isn't a rational thing but something that we all do so I think we must have weathered we don't always behave rationally with us. And that makes I obsessed with it. Well that's really stupid to think that you would spend money at studio ninety seven just because it's ninety seven. Yeah it's extraordinary but it's a it's a thing called anchoring and psychological processes been really. Well demonstrated that this irrelevant numbers can make a difference to us and that we will make predictions based on those which which just does seem like the way it is thing but for example in a study looking at car oceans if a really expensive expensive car sold then even if the next car was a cheap top of call it would go for more money so if you had a Rolls Royce and then the next call was a mini mini will go for more money just because there was a Rolls Royce before it which again shows just how irrational but often in predictable ways we can be well but we're we're also fighting the people who know this stuff and use it against us right. That's absolutely true. So there are plenty of strategies that Shops will use to try to part. Get to part with our money. You know they want to spend the money and so one of the things you often see is that Items in shops on online online or off the laid out in threes and it often be a cheap from a walnuts a little bit more expensive and sometimes a really expensive one. If you think something like laptops you got a cheap one then next to it kind of mid price one and then really sleek and shiny beautiful And the only reason that expensive one is there is to try to persuade ages ago for the middle one instead because that seems a good compromise so in experiments if you only have cheaper to half the people will choose the very cheapest and half would choose the other one but the moment you put in the third really expensive item. Suddenly that's ways people's opinions and twice as many will go for. What is now the middle item when they were never intending to who spend that much money and so we do need to be really careful when we're shopping? In certain to watch for the strategies that might be being used and whether there are other things around that are influencing on whether the whether we think something is good value on. I remember hearing that restaurants. Do this with the second most expensive wine. Yes yes yes. They often often people choose the second most expensive wine because they don't WanNa look if that using the cheap one they don't want something really expensive you know lots of us. Don't know very much about one and don't necessarily want to spend more and so people don't WanNa look mean so they often choose the second one thinking. Oh well that must be good and actually because restaurants do this. They often the second second price. One isn't very good value. Whose only people will go for it and if I if if a place is any good that the housewife and they should be choosing something? That's that's perfectly nice and so now I often go for the very cheapest one of all now justice you mean well. It's probably going to be fine and nine times out of ten is right. So so what are some of these other Other things that people need to be aware of that Th that we happen automatically and unconsciously and yet we fall for it pretty much every time. Yeah that's all that's all sorts of things where we Get things slightly wrong. I mean one is called the endowment effect which is where we overvalue Evalu- things that we already own. We like things that we already have so People would rather you know trade in the call for more money and then spend more money on the car. They replacing it with the trade infiltrate and save money on the new car. And there's there's no good good reasons reason for doing that but we really like things that we already own and so this means that when people are trying to sell things online for example people will often put a reserve on and they'll often ooh value the thing they're trying to sell because we assume that because we have it and we liked it and we wanted it and we already have it it must be worth more than the other people would also think that when of course people weren't necessarily Thing that another mistake we make us to When it comes to saving tend to think that All of us tend to think that in the the future we'll learn more will save more and will be better at spending less and gradually if if people get promoted they might earn more in the future but but you know who knows what will happen with different industries in the future but when it comes to saving more and spending less that's probably not going to happen to unless we change so just as we all tend to think that we'll have more time in the future and we'll be more organized versions of ourselves in the future. That won't happen either unless we change something about ourselves and the way we behave and make a very conscious decision to do that and so that means that people tend to save less now. Because they think we're going to do it later on it'll be fine. I'll do that later. Roland chances are we. Won't we don't really change our habits very easily unless we make a really conscious effort to do so. Is it just just optimism. We think things will be fine so we just we just go on our merry way one of the strongest cognitive biases. As is the optimism. Bias that we just. I hope that things will be fine and think things will be fine. We often also think that the future is quite far away. And just the way you phrase it can make a difference to that. So if someone's going to retire Char in ten years time that feels like quite well time to save up and sort things out but if you think of it as a new three thousand six hundred fifty two days and I said that sounds big number. It sounds quite close. Three thousand days sounds quite soon. Let's if you research has shown that if you if you frame things in a different way like If you just change the wording it can make it. The future seem narrow. And then you start planning and save up more instead. So we're entering the holiday season. An and so what about traps that we fall into when we're buying gifts and things which is this time of year when we buy probably more gifts than any other time. Yeah yes I think I mean I think when it comes to buying gifts particularly the last moment people can find themselves Panicking and not necessarily buying the thing that the other person we'll we'll really like an actually want value and Maybe buying things like experiences can make a difference in more of a difference to people's well-being so uh-huh treating somebody to stand way somewhere could be more effective in if you like and and making them happy which is what we want them buying them a a- An item is buying the material goods and that's that's really good evidence so that's the case I mean the good thing about buying guests who also if you look at the evidence on wellbeing it does show that spending spending money on other people is a good thing And that's giving gifts to other people. Just make us feel happier. That in one experiment they gave people a nine in the morning. They stopped in the street and they gave him an envelope with twenty dollars in it and they said some. You've gotten to five PM to spend this half of them. Told they spend it on themselves and half of them were told they must spend it on someone else will give its chargesheet. And they measured people's mood and at the end of the day at five PM. They had to meet up again and they measured the mood again. And the people people who spent it on someone else actually felt happier and had a better day than the people who spent it on themselves so so the good thing about the gift season is that Buying things people giving giving nice things to other people does make us happy. But I think it's easy to to panic them to think that you need to buy the thing that looks expensive rather than the thing. That's more thoughtful that they might really really want. which is what I really care about? One of the things in parallel to that that I've heard recently differently is that we should spend more money on experiences than things because we get more satisfaction from that. And then I've heard that well maybe that's not always he's true. I guess it depends on the experience. And what the thing would have been it depends on whether it goes well obviously about experiences not going to be a good thing and it does depend panel thing because sometimes the thing can lead to more experiences. So if you didn't have a car but then got a call. Then that could enable you to connect with other people on born to visit people that you've not had a chance to to go out to the countryside and have a nice time that could lead experiences so that might be a good thing to buy but yeah and it's absolutely true that the evidence does show that experiences improve our wellbeing more than owning things and one of the reasons is the with an experience. We anticipated more. We spend more all time thinking about what it will be like. You think about what a weekend. We'll be like more than you might think about what it would be like to have a bigger TV you might want to bigger TV. But you're not not gonNA think about the experience. Imagine the same way on. Also experiences often connects you with other people so you might be away or out for the day with them and then when you get back you've got warm memories to look back on so even though it seems like you know all the money's gone in one go whereas the thing you could be enjoying all the whole the experiences experiences all giving people more pleasure. What's really interesting? Is that the you know. The group that calling in millennials now the younger people on our spending more money on experiences than on things which the evidence that doing the right thing. I'm speaking with Claudia Hammond. She is a broadcaster for the BBC in London. And she's author of the book. Mind over money. It's the perfect opportunity to give your storage space. Some tough love or in the store more save more event in the Home Depot. Right Right now get durable stackable exclusive. Hd Ex black and yellow tough dotes in a whole range of sizes starting at just four ninety eight you can even order online for fast and easy the in store pickup. It's a good time to Dur in forgetting organized with help from the Home Depot. How do we get more done? Limited time only event dates vary by store. See Store for details. Everyone has a baby. They want to protect like my dachshund rocky my nineteen nineteen fifty-nine hardtop convertible or your baby could be an actual baby from fire and flood detection with home security. You can trust to save driver alerts and APPS you use on the go. Nobody has more ways to help. Keep all your baby's safe because we are what we protect. Adt Real Protection Action License Information available at ADT DOT COM so we we've talked about how we're all kind of diluted and mystified defied and manipulated by some of these thought processes and how we think about money. But how how do we use this to our advantage. Yeah definitely I believe so. I think to try and save more money. You know one of the things you can do to try to reframe the way you think about the future. I know so. It's been shown own the sometimes financial advisers say people. You should just start a fresh start again with a clean sheet and from now on you'll save lots of money but research has shown that actually it's more. Aw Real. People make more realistic plans that they're more stick to if they do back to walk out of the Pasta workout. Wasn't it the last time they tried to save up. Well that's what were the unexpected unexpected expenses that the crop that was due. And could they take that into account someone how come up with a more More realistic way of saving. There's been a really a really clever Experimenting me US that the psychologist. Richard Failure did which was cool. Save money tomorrow where people committed but when the salary went up in the future they would save a little bit more money and people. We don't mind promising future money. We don't promising money now now but we love the idea of pay rise in the future so we think in the future. We won't care if say a bit more because we'll have the extra money so it'll be fine it will. He Won't feel like a penalty now and so are they got people to commit to saving in the future and it was really successful and people were able to save much. More and other thing people can do is to that. If people's money is in an account with a name that sounds geographically far away from where you live then people are less likely to dip into that money because even though you can just it's getting money on line it feels if it's further away so anything that makes the money feel less accessible and more of a bother to get means people are likely to leave it there for longer so in a way you can. You can trick yourself so just naming the account my be Yugoslavian account makes it harder to get you. Cocoon accorded all choosing a bank. That's got the name you know choosing a bank that's in. That's the name of estates that's miles from where you live we'll make it seem as if it's further away because we we tend to still have this idea that You know minds we we slightly imagine that the money is all money is actually there and and the bank and all little little pot of money is somewhat on that. It's not all just mixed up in a load of figures on a screen like you know we know in reality. It's like that but we imagine that a little bit is that and so if you can imagine that federal way you're less likely to dip into it. It is so weird how we process this kind of information when if you really sat down and stop to think about it. It's not sense it's crazy. Yeah it is it is and there are always little little cues and Little the things that we don't actually notice consciously that are affecting the decisions that we make all the time And we go around looking for information that confirms what we already think. We noticed that information more and that can make a real difference to what we end up saving what we ended up spending and sorts of judgments we make about money. We'll just the the idea of name. Brands has always fascinated me. That people will spend more for a name brand sometimes lots more. When you know the generic brand is exactly the same thing yet is really interesting? And that's been some actually really interesting experiments with them with wine fine and with painkillers and so with wine they. They put people in a brain scanner and they'd fed them some wine through a straw. Probably not the best way of drinking wine but through a stroll and then they told sometimes they told me it was a ninety dollars bottle of wine and other times they told them it cost only five dollars and people not only said that they liked the wine that they thought it was expensive. Better bought that brain's actually liked it better as well. So there was more activity in the reward centers of the brains When they thought the wine was expensive so they actually were widdly? Were enjoying it more if they thought it was expensive. So the lesson from that maybe as to to Encourage your friends to bring treat to bring cheap wine round but to tell you. It's expensive wine and then with painkillers. That was a fascinating study. Where we know that the generic brand of versions are very open about they say the the ingredients and they all the same ingredients so you might have the same amount of ibuprofen or paracetamol? That's in a cabinet. It's exactly the same thing but one is the brand and we'll have you know lovely fancy box now. What's really extraordinary here? Is that actually. If people thought that they have the branded medicine it did give them more more effective pain relief they. They gave them Tests of their pain thresholds and they have to put their all in a bucket of ice water and they actually keep it longer if they had the brand to draw them full they have the branded drug and so they're the placebo. Effect was being harnessed and the fact that they thought it was more expensive. made a difference so weirdly without one. If your headache is really really bad. Maybe you should buy the more expensive because then it will be really effective. All you need to get somebody else to give it to you tell you. It's expensive one one of the things and and I think maybe this maybe this applies more to women than men but that you know handbags for example or or certain things that have have status because they are such and such a brand that people will pay and men do it too. I guess with suits and things. That just seem so ridiculous. Yeah we do pay a lot of attention to the the status that a brand can give us and I think that that seems to be increasing more or more and if you look at the amounts now being spent more money than ever before is being spent on luxury brands that are really really really expensive and on so and I think it does apply to as well and it may be different sometimes different things but you know people people were like the brand of a certain brand of car more than another or a certain brand of watch or anything. I think increases their status. But if you look at the research on materialism if people want to buy something expensive in in order to generate envy and other people on in order to get power that actually it's not gonNa work and it's not gonNa make them feel any better or any better about themselves if people want to buy the really expensive brandon thing because they genuinely like it and think that that thing is really nice and we'll get pleasure from using that thing then it can increase. That will being a bit. It all depends on what it is. You're really into the brands. You know we we spend so much money and time trying to impress other people with the things we buy and I WANNA ask you ask you if it works but but I I let me remind everyone that you're listening to Claudia Hammond. She is broadcaster at the BBC in London and author of the book. Mind over money. Hey sweet new phone yeah. I switched to boost mobile and got four free Samsung Galaxy. The eight twenty phones from the bottom from the came from the struggle from the pain. I got the four free phones part but did you just quote a pit bull song there. Now Yeah you did listen McCain No. I'm saying with boost mobile super reliable superfast network. I'm winning winning winning winning that. That's pit bull Song Mobile. You're winning freephone limited to new customers. One per line additional restrictions apply dot com for details. So I think that at least for some of us we tend tend to buy things to impress other people so if I buy you know a a twenty thousand dollar watch our are people actually impressed by that are other people thinking. Wow look at that. I don't know that I would know at Twenty Thousand Dollar Watch if I saw but actually take for fake and more personally. I wouldn't know which is a fake of which isn't so it would just looked like a kind of you know big flashy watch to me but it could still be a cheap cheap flashy watch so I think if somebody actually knows well enough to be able to spot which is a real one then maybe somebody might be impressed. That always means they must have lots of money. They must be very successful but the probably more likely to just know that from other things about them you know they might know what their job is. They might know what their successors are so. I don't think trying onto kind of I don't think it's an effective way trying to fool people into thinking that's one of the things that people say is one of the dumbest things people do with money as buy lottery artery tickets but the but then again you know somebody does eventually win so could be me could be just as well could be me as the guy that want exactly. It's absolutely true that the chances of winning we all know a really really really really small and I think that people to say it's the rationalism away forgetting and the people likely the fun of that and they like the permission to imagine that they might win on the moment when they numbers come up and they're looking at the numbers and gives them a little while to imagine fantasize about what that would be like what they would do with the money and you know improve their wellbeing temporarily. At that moment. I think the problem is if people then then have to feel they have to carry on doing it so I think if you gonNA buy lottery tickets. What you shouldn't do is by the same number every week because if you always buy the same number so you've got to carry on doing it because otherwise you'll have the regret if you found out one week that you haven't done it and that it had one you would know that because of the number and you'd have massive regret gresh about that and we really really hate regrets as very strong psychological aversion to to regret? And so if you always do something different than it means. You don't have to do it every week. Can you don't have to worry about that. I mean some places have gotten around this in in in Holland fiendishly clever lottery that puts automatically puts. Everyone's postcode zip because the lottery and so You you can either buy tickets in which case you could win with your postcode but if you don't buy ticket you couldn't but you always GonNa know which it is and also all your neighbors might win. A new might. Not So it's It's a very clever way of getting people to buy tickets. I remember I think it was of the California lottery here that that had a marketing campaign that I thought was very effective. That that said what what would happen if your numbers one without. Oh you Britain genius campaign because that's very strong evidence that we really hate the regressive. What might have happened and that is something? That's prompting people into into buying tickets. I would never check if I forgot to play by numbers that week. I would never go look and see because what if I wonder if that's ever happened. I never heard of that happening but I wonder if anyone ever did always play missed once in there with numbers one. Oh Oh I'm sure there are. I'm sure there are stories like that. Just as you get the stories of the people who put it in the washing machine and then they've tried to find it and they try and piece the pieces back together and know that the numbers. It came up but they've missed out anything else we've covered so much but in any other little things that you find when you did the research for this it was really fascinating knitting that Ma- that people may not realize one thing I think is really interesting. Is that Paying friends for favors is not a good idea. And it seems like a nice idea because doing your favorite view and then you will give them some money which sounds kind but actually. It's a mistake. Because the moment you do that it refrains James then noise piece of altruism as a financial transaction and so then the other person will start looking and thinking well. Was this a good amount. Ah they changed. I'm helping them chase tire. And they're offering me twenty dollars but actually they'd have to Panasonic much more than that and maybe it'll take me quite a long time because it's quite a tricky John and I could be doing something else and have they given me the right amount whereas if you just thank them doing the thing and then maybe buy them a present later. You know not don't money but a presence you know some flowers chocolate or something they might like later on then. Everything will work much better and it doesn't bring money into the friendship. It just allows people to be kind I to each other which is a a nicer thing so I I think that's a quite good tips. That's come out of the US research that's really interesting. That is interesting but you know it's so right on when I think about think about that. I mean when you say I'll give you twenty bucks to change my tire. You're putting a value on that. That may be as unfair and it's better not to put a value on it at all so weirdly headless another case where it might seem rational because you think surely getting twenty dollars is better than getting no money no in fact. They'll leave feeling better if they got money. Well it's interesting to spend a few minutes just talking about money and how we relate to it and and how money plays tricks on us. Claudia Hammond has been my guest. She is a broadcaster for the BBC in London. An and she's author of the book. Mind over money. You'll find a link to that book at Amazon in the show notes. Thanks Claudia you're a good interview. Thank you bucket talk to you so much for having me and finally today on something you should know appreciation. We tend to show you are appreciation for other people more this time of year than other times of year and while giving gifts and throwing parties is great. Appreciation is something that it works all year round both in relationships and at work consider the fact that appreciation is one of the top reasons people leave relationships and friendships and it is the number one reason people quit their job so giving appreciation is really kind of the glue that holds relationships and organizations innovations together in a work environment that fosters a culture of appreciation. The payoffs are big according to consultant Paul White when employees. I feel appreciated at work. People show up they show up on time. There's less turnover. There's an increase in customer satisfaction. There's less conflict. There's more positive work environment. And there's just a zillion benefits to doing it. If you have any doubt about the power of appreciation go home tonight and start appreciating thing everything about your partner and watch what happens. And that's the podcast today. I hope you enjoyed it. And if he did please share it with a friend by Mike carruthers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know.
Focusing When Stressed
"This is episode two thousand one hundred. Sixty four of the daily meditation podcast. I'm mary medically and i welcome you back to our series. We're exploring this week. I'll about self care. You may feel like you've been neglecting yourself these days when you're going through a pandemic s- pretty distracting and with all the uncertainty out there. You can feel as though you're in time more in today's episode you're going to be guided combining all the meditation techniques. You've explored this week in to a self care meditation every single day. You've explored a different technique. When i meditate i layer techniques together. I so rarely sit down and instantly. I'm transported to peace and calm. Usually i sit down to meditate. And i'm still thinking about something that happened that day or something i need to do and so i do several techniques. The affirmation a breathing technique. I usually do a mood. Dra i focus on a chakra. I do a visualization. I do everything. I share with you every day. And that helps to transition me from all those outside distractions to more interior and peace and that is the beauty of techniques. Remember you can use these techniques even when you're not seated meditating use them during the most stressful times of your day if you would like the full half hour guided meditations. You are invited to try these sip and own meditation app for seven days free there. You can meditate for thirty minutes every day. You can meditate for as long as thirty minutes or as little as thirty minutes. It's up to you the way. The meditations are structured. There's a time stamp where the meditation begins your guided through the technique. You're guided through a full body relaxation. And then you're guided through a meditation so you can be guided through all of those sequences or you can simply maybe do a full body relaxation that day or just the technique that day you receive a journal and a guide with each week's series so again it's the cipriano meditation app. It is the sponsor of our podcast today and it is one week. Free access to the full app of two thousand guided meditations. I wanna share with you a journey from a fellow meditate or someone who listens to the podcast. Just like you do. This is from someone in our private facebook group which you are welcome to join. It is called the daily meditation. Podcast facebook group. So i asked a question. I like to ask a question every day. What kind of self care are you giving yourself this week since this is ours. Self care week and you have had a challenge all week long where you give yourself some self care not just a random self care act such as oh. I think i'll take a nice bath or i'll light a candle. Those are really nice ways to celebrate self care but think about why. You are lighting the candle. Do you need to focus on the light for inner peace. Because you're trying to give yourself self care to feel more peace. Do you need to take a bath. Because you're not sleeping well at night and the bath is going to calm you and hopefully relax shoe. So you have customized yourself care rituals this week for one specific purpose so i hope that is going well with you. I'd love to hear about it in the private facebook group. So this is where as i mentioned. Several meditators shared their rituals this week. One of your fellow meditators says. I just don't seem to have the time right. I'm busy yet. Not that much yet. I'm feeling overwhelmed. I try taking in a few deep breaths. But that's just about it help. You may be feeling that way as well so as i started off this episode. I talked about how you can feel like you're in a time warp. And when you're experiencing stressful situations such as a pandemic and all the other uncertainty that is surrounding this pandemic you can feel as though your starting to focus and you're getting on track and then you'll remember. Oh yeah we are a lockdown or oh the economy or oh whatever you might be thinking about and then you feel as so you're stopped your little stack and this can become a repetitive cycle. To where you feel like you're not making any forward progress you feel like you're just spinning your wheels and it seems as though you can't really get out of this mode so time seems to stand still i don't know about you but it seems to me sometimes like it was just yesterday that this pandemic started and here it is pretty soon it will be coming up on a year and yet i look back and it's almost like a blur sometimes and this is what can happen to your brain when there's an completion regarding some stressful event we're waiting for this pandemic to end or maybe you're waiting for some other kind of stressful event in your life to end any kind of traumatic or very stressful event. Where you don't have control over the situation can cause you to feel stuck in this. Stop and start cycle where you feel like. You're not really moving forward even though you're doing things so you are not alone. So i thought that as you layer together the techniques for the meditation today you could allow yourself to be in the present moment. Meditation is one of the best things you could be doing for yourself right now because it allows you to let go of the past and not think about the future but to remain in the present and this is where you do have control over your breath over your thoughts so settle yourself down and get ready to meditate as you begin to relax your mind and your body notice where you seem to be holding tension today and notice if there's a particular thought that seems to be looming over your mind these days now bring to mind the kind of self care. You've been focusing on this week. Self care you may need right now. Do you need more peace. Do you need more focus. More energy a mentally affirm give to myself so i have more to give to others. I give to myself. So i have more to give to others. Notice how this makes you feel as you repeat it. You may place your hands in the kula mu drive this week touching your fingertips to your thumb tips doing this with both hands. And if there's an area of tension on your body maybe even your heart fills restless or your breath needs to calm down. Take your hands placed in this mccullough madre dre and lightly make circular motions with your fingertips over this area of your body. This is a healing soothing. Mu dra and hail and exhale through your nose on your next inhale visualize gift you give to yourself some gift you need gifting yourself one of your best qualities bringing to mind. What makes you unique as you exhale. Release your breath and send out this gift to yourself. Can inhale through your nose. Gifting yourself with one of your best qualities. Maybe you're a great friend or your dependab- aw or you try you never give up. You always try drought one of your best qualities wreck gift yourself with this beautiful quality now. Sit in stillness allowing yourself simply to be. You are so worth slowing down for
Into 2020 with the Best of Bob and Sheri
"It's the Bob and Sheri Show. I'm not exactly sure what they do. Everything in their own little world was just second Sherry and Bob Jus- US now broadcasting from the palatial Bob and Sheri Studios. It's Bob and Sheri. Okay I have for you right now. Two stories that are about things things that are really tasty but they don't turn out well okay tasty delicious but Edo you may never feel the same about one of them again and here we go a new study out of Clemson University. Good morning everyone. Listening found that when someone blows out the candles on a birthday cake it increases the amount of bacteria on the cake by an average of fifteen one hundred percent and in some cases the bacteria count can increase fourteen thousand percent if the person is sick if red hat if the person has a cold and they're blowing out the birthday candles. There's a high likelihood that you're going to catch it. Because what do you do after they blow it out. We eat the cake. That's so gross. Because you ever think of it I never thought of it. That's so gross. And the people most likely to blow out candles Kamal sickly kids say. That's WHO's doing so. Don't do it by eating Bologna. You do if you're at the kid's birthday it's your sister's the defrosting bacteria would be you'd have to knock the frosting off frosting. I know I'm sorry I just like cake frosting minds to it. You become ill. I just like them very much. You know how you are about ice cream that's how I am about cake with frosting. Yeah I really am and you know what ticks me the off no offense to you takes me off people that don't like cake. frosting get all holier than thou and I include my husband in this by by the way he doesn't like cake in frosting. He'll eat it but you know just once a year. He likes ice cream and ice cream cones nutty buddy's and ice cream sandwiches so here comes uh-huh a piece of cake with frosting. I'm very happy to see it. It's cake with Frost precious. I'm so delighted to see it. He's over there going once. Sugared empty calories gallery's as he double fiscal. Nobody's into his drives me crazy. That people like you Bob Lacey. Who are all new relic an and we could but you can't get enough dairy crews use me? I never been anti-fraud thing you cannot find anything. I've said that say Anti Frost. You know in all like I don't know I don't like bad. He'll I don't want that dairy queen like why can't you just live. Let live I like chocolate cake with chocolate. frosting okay. I don't want it all the time you're constantly talking. Always going to be cake is GONNA be cake. Yes dairy queen every day like. It's my job because I don't WanNa wait in line behind you. That's good what is wrong with you and you WANNA hear here. I come on and try to help our audience to stay healthy ruin uses where I land birthday celebration. Ever don't do it you have to knock the frosting thing off just you. Just look at the person who's blowing out the you know some people you can tell whether they're sick or not his new job. He's the birthday grinch remember how he wants to be back at his clouds of just shows up and there's like a seven year old kid getting ready to blow up the candle. Listen here junior the germs. You're GONNA put on. This cake is going to get everybody else sick. Then every parents can swipe up their child take their present your now the birthday green they will split skilled birthday cloud heels. That is where I'm going so much easier and he and he's where I'm going. We lose this GEIC slugged. Line is get off my birthday cake. I'm just August I have fun. It's time to blow out the candles now. Now just ahead of little billie. Here's got a runny nose and the parents who came to the birthday party Basil rifle. I'll get tips. I have the solution. I have the solution that will allow the people to remain healthy and still enjoy the birthday ritual and that is birthday cupcakes. So that the birthday child who has a runny nose and possibly for all we know the flu. Yeah the they blow out the candles on their cupcakes. Everybody else has individual cupcakes else's saliva or particulate matter is on your frosting. You've just done by saying that you've agreed with me. I'm right I have found a way to put a little bit of sunshine into this hurricane of grim. Sad news is that you're bringing us well. The grim sad news the hurricane of Grimm said news comes out of that kid's mouth and then everybody else sick for about a week or two weeks if it was you. You'll be making you be cured people with your germ. Because helping I should blow out. The kid could whisper in my ear. And then I blow up the right spot and Sherry stuff you here on this. Show the Bob and Sheri podcast on the Bob and Sheri he asked so. There's a brand new book out called time warped and I learned something in this book Bob that I did not know for example. Did you know that the word time is the most most common noun in the whole English language is that right. Yes and there's all sorts of cool facts about time in this book Like about How it is that time? Time seems to slow down and expand anytime you're in a near death situation How time when you're having a really great time just flies by How the sound of hearing someone cry or being really really scared slows down in time? No not not just you. It's not just your imagination half the people believe that time is moving toward them. The other half believe that we are moving through time. Which one are you? I've never thought about that. Which one are you? Time is moving toward time is coming toward you or you are moving through time. You're one or the other cording to this really cool book. Oh just got to think about this thought about it before. Have you heard me or you're moving through to like a moving through Tom. D- I feel. The time is moving toward me. I thank you do yeah I would. That would have been my guess for you. I think I'm that way too obscene time. Slow down 'cause I've had several unfortunate dramatic experiences in my life and I know exactly what that is all about how time slows down it. Just you can almost visually see it. Stop like like a movie slowing going into slow motion. This is another really cool thing that I learned in this book There's no single part of the brain. The human brain that is devoted to the task Tsk of measuring time minutes and hours passing by that the experience of time is happening in different ways. All over our brains at different times for different reasons but that this I didn't know this either and I know you don't this is really cool. So how'd human beings process time. We do it in three second intervals and we sink those three second intervals with clock time and to give you an idea of what is three second interval. That's about how long time time takes to shake someone's hand so for human beings. The whole day is made up of an a cluster of three second intervals. Here I am now here I am. They're here com. And if you think about it if you really pull back and think about it that's about right so it'd be like shaking hands saying your name opening a refrigerator door slowly Having sex pretty much thinking about having sex again. Yeah but if you think about three second intervals hi Bob. It's nice to meet you. Picked a great restaurant. pull out your chair sit down. It's in three second intervals that we process Our events of our day we live in the moment processing the events that are happening in three second intervals all day long. The first time I really was cognizant Johnson of something that had to do with time Happened a few years ago when I realized that summer was now so fleeting. It was so quick compared to the way it was. When you were I was a kid? Yeah when you were a kid. I didn't like that. Well I think one of the things that that that they said in this book that I thought was interesting too was people always believe that in the future and you might measure the future as Friday or next year or in ten years. People always believe that in the future they will have more free time so people. It's there's something hardwired in us that makes us go. TGIF 'cause we associate certain things with having more free time But that that we it's like a tale that we chase dogs chasing a tail. We never catch it. Because it's just right there ahead of us this idea of more free time And then it's Monday. We're processing in the three second intervals again and one of the reasons why it seems like time goes by faster the older you get because a day becomes a smaller percentage of your life with each passing day right right. Routines are more solidified. So you're not consciously thinking about them. Do you remember you were a kid and somebody says you can go somewhere for an hour or you're going to have to wait an hour. An hour seemed like it Bush forever and that was explained to me once it bummed me out for the whole day but you know Bob don't feel that way because An hour still feels like forever for liquefy. Were to say to you. All Right Bob you can run to the bathroom and then we have a staff meeting. It's GonNa take about an hour. Oh Yeah it's it's the desert of the situation you're dealing with that moment And the other thing that was in this book that really jumped out at me as hell. The folks the name. The book is called time warped and it's written the author is Claudia Hammond so The other thing that jumped out at me in this as a mom and I remember this vividly When when your baby's crying it feels like in last forever ever? Yeah like I can remember. MEMBER CARA MIA had issues and colic and boy I can remember those long seemingly endless hours of crying and you know they weren't in the big scheme do things but the intensity intensity made it feel that way and your helplessness. It made it feel that way. Yes time is the most common now in the English language. It's Bob and Sheri Good Morning A- and stuff you won't hear on the show the Bob and Sheri odd cast on the Bob and Sheri Jerry App get it now in itunes store or Google play. I read something in COSMO It was a list of the things that MOMS don't understand about pop culture and I'm really made me laugh I got all of these so like my kids are safe. I understand all of these but my mother or their grandma Jackie. I'm not sure that they could do any of these ten. So here we go. I'll go from ten to one. COSMO's things that your mom doesn't understand about pop culture. Okay number ten why. You're not on facebook anymore. Oh I see yeah answer is because your mom is now exactly as my seventh grader. Told me and my God parents and grown-ups have ruined facebook. It's true though. She's thank you sweetheart for that. Observation children ruined our stomachs. Okay we're all just rude and stuff for each other guests. Parents have ruined number nine. Things MOMS. Don't understand about pop culture. What a Brownie is you know? What Bronius now do you know what a Brownie is Matt? Todd you know what a Bronius. Here's what a Bronius Bruni is a guy who's into my little pony. He's a Brownie uncluttered. Oh No I'm glad I'm you know what if this a man of only thank thank you. Ice Muslim ignorance. If more people embraced the message of my little pony the world would be a more peaceful and loving place. Shame on you for not wanting to be brownies number eight things. This is why Putin can invade anywhere he wants because there are American men who what a Bronius Here's another thing. Your mom doesn't understand about pop culture. What an Arianna `Grande is an area on what is an area? `Grande is a coffee. Drink is is it a kind of lipstick. Is it a pop music performer and actress. What is an area? `Grande an Areana `grande. You don't know who Ariana Grande Sundays. No Max. You don't know who are Grandes. No she model. Ariana Grande Day is my youngest daughter's Sole reason for living Ariana Grande is an actress. Pop singer she has a voice like Mariah Carey is spectacularly beautiful and adorable pitcher now. I know Victoria Salmon cat. She's she's adorable. That's what an area Grandes. Don't try to order it at starbucks. Scrimmage Aki now Jackie starbucks our number seven snapchat chat what I don't know about snap general number six moms do not comprehend. Game of thrones number five moms do not know how to properly pronounce Kanye West. Hey I used to be. I used to be a mom. Used to call him. Came Art right the number four thing according to cosmo that your mom does not understand about pop culture. Why in the? Hey L.. Miley Cyrus is so popular. I'm I'm with mom and a half of these so far better than half number three now. We're in the top three things that your mom doesn't understand about pop subculture number three. Why that beyond say she seems like a nice girl refuses to wear pants? You know what I'm surprised about beyond say I I mean I'm a guy so I appreciate her that she's very voluptuous. And she has a wonderful voice. She's one of the dirtiest singers out. There her occur. Lyrics are filthy. Why if case in point I write them down but I was reading some of her lyrics and they're very dirty God and I never think of beyond say is having earlier? I can't have the Jason Derulo Talk Dirty Song Talk dirty to me song on in the car when the kids are GonNa Liar Thong though it's it's got that great infectious beat but I mean even it so much so that my little one if it comes on he'll say mom we have to turn that off because she knows she's not listening to that but beyond say I don't not really now she's got some she's got some. I don't know what the word you WANNA use edgy. A whatever and I'm not saying I mean I just don't care it's not my thing she's not my thing by. I whatever you want you know. I know she's very very gifted number. Two things that your mom doesn't understand about pop culture because your mom watches the voice and really likes is it. She does not get why you think. Adam Levine is the worst MOMS love them. Some Adam Levine. I think you have to the imam him. He's he's had a sex symbol. Disney Adam Levine is. Is the MOM friendly bad boy. Because he's on his true and he's very polite and he's very eloquent. Acquaint very polite. He does the proactive commercials. He has a clue line for Kmart. And you know it's very sensible and all right the number one thing according to cosmo that your mom just doesn't get it all about pop. Culture is how to pronounce R. I. H. A. N. N. IN A. How do we pronounce? That artist named Yana. Yana right okay. I actually overheard a mom at my kids. School call her Rehana and so when I saw this list. That made me laugh out loud. Because I saw that inaction there it is that Rehana. She has a nice voice by you know she source game. That's pretty good. I called my mom. Say Happy Mother's Day so what's going on today. And she said well you know. The dog has gotten incontinence because she's old so today I'm looking around the house for people spots so I said Oh what a rich life I said. Sounds like someone's indulging herself. I sounds like someone knows how to take care. Why Oh you yes? Those are the things. Your mom doesn't understand about pop culture. You know things were different in her day. It's Bob and Sheri Bob and Sheri Sued Take Your they are. It's morons in the news. All righty a woman. In the town of Ramsbottom England recently found some some weird symbols drawn sidewalk and chalk so she posted them on a community facebook forum and asked. What do you folks think these Ark work there were a bunch of them and they all the same? Each one was a half circle with a single line drawn down the center other people got on the foreman and neely said it was somebody a burglar casing a place other drawings. Were there to remind them which houses to rob so. This woman freaked out but then one of her neighbors saw the post that explain. What really was the half circles with the line down the middle from her her kid who had recently become obsessed withdrawing butts drew a bunch of them on his way home from school this week? Yeah let's go to South Carolina where a woman got a notification from Fedex. Package have been delivered. You've got home. No package on the porch. So she contacted a Fedex and they said we delivered it. We put it on your ports new Newell Package. She does not have a ring doorbell she should get one called. The police. Police look no package so some package. Pirates it's got away with it. What was in that box? A thousand dollars worth of Tarantulas. Live Tarantula Yeah I and she would like her spiders back my word. Can you order those things. Well yeah it was legal as obsolete shared them from A. I don't no no it. Taran what am I saying Amazon Live Tarantulas. An Amazon Dot Com got home. They went into their kitchen and opened up. The box walks and those things came flying saw nine times a woman. It Florida punched her boyfriend in the face because she didn't like the way he cut his meat and `tatoes for dinner. Why put that in there? Who hasn't had that experience when you live with somebody and after a while everything irritates you have you have you ever? Have you ever had a friend or somebody something with knife in court crazy. I broke up with a guy over the way he treated his Napkins Napkin. He would he would not put it in his lap. Okay whatever he would also not really use. Is it for what guide intended it. He would look each finger than wipe each finger on the Napkins. And I looked at that and thought I'm not going to last the weekend much less the rest of my life I gotta go. Let's go to Philly for today's more today. We have video. GotTa go I gotTa go gotTa go you gotTa know and if you know that you've gotta go gotta go all right. Today's morning today comes to us from Philly. We have video. It's a driver climbing out of the Sunroof of a moving clean car to flee the scene of a chain reaction crash. It's a Red Cadillac and the driver did not see that the cars are headed stopped and he slammed into one which another than another then another and with the cadillacs still moving. The man climbed through the sun roof and ran off off while text. The word Moron to eight eight eight two six to seven four three seven will send this went straight to your phone. What a miss that was? So there's a guy in Thailand. The main reason I'm including that is his name. The Lump Fulton Lum Photinia and he was having some trouble breathing in his sleep so earlier. This year he set up a camera to record himself sleeping through the night to see. Why is he having trouble breathing during the nighttime and the footage showed that his cat would crawl onto him in the middle of the night and go to sleep on top of his space? I've seen this video. I love it so much. The cat logjam know that. There's the cat sitting on your face. You're jealous because he's such a good sleeper. Yeah you're right. You're the cat loves him. The cat has his paws around the guys neck nuzzling face and stealing his breath. Like your grandma's GonNa say exactly that's just video that's his kitty. Best a nightmare mirror for me. I'll tell you that I'm allergic to catch of Kitty was on my face while I'm sleeping I she's a big kitty guy there and plus. I'm allergic I'm taking in that all night. Sorry at Tarantulas anywhere from twenty nine ninety nine a piece up to the exotic ones we chair over eighty dollars. Could you buy the money to buy them on the online and you can buy some on Amazon or some of them poisonous IRT transit originalist. I why why. Why does the Tarantula always see? Thanks thank you. You can't tell somebody. Hey it's Sherry from the Bob and Sheri Show I thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We really appreciate you. You're the reason that we do it. And the reason that we're able to keep doing it and I just want to mention that if you hear political advertising of any kind and any campaign any race any party adjacent to any bob and Sheri Show podcast. Please know that we did not approve that advertising we did not accept that advertising. We're not compensated for it. In fact we have asked every streaming platform. There is to exclude our programs programs from all political messing why because political messaging makes people furious. And we're trying really hard to have the Bob and Sheri show be a politics free island so please know if you hear it. You're hearing it at our protest. We don't want it there. Were trying to have it removed. Thank you so much for your patience. Let's get back to the show audio clips podcast anymore at Bob and Sheri Dot Com we were talking about chaos the the other day and about how no matter uh-huh you think you're going to have like some serenity. Here comes some Peace Now. Things are going to quiet down things. Were finally settling on all the chaos in your life never dies down. That's just part of being alive live and carriage right now and you're saying your husband brought the chaos. I'll be damned if that ever happens. Yeah Yeah so Our story is is. We went to a banquet that raffles off hunting stuff. It's a hunting banquet and I said I go because I always say you're not getting the dog. Doc like Oh did not get the dog and to protect myself from chaos and we took our daughter who's a dog lover with us and they bought the last raffle ticket for the dog. And I'm giving them a stink eye and we won the dog dog a lab German shorthair those have some some really smart and they have a lot of energy. My my nephew Ryan has one. Yeah it's a big mart energetic. Genetic dog and He won the dogs and Of course there. They can't believe it and they're happy and I'm sitting there like I'm GonNa take care of this dog. I guess is my dog and so anyways we came home with puppy and guess who is mostly taking care of the dog because I work from home so I haven't no baby baby baby about as big as you too. I'm guessing once it's fully grown. Yeah and the funny part is I went home and I pulled without the papers because exactly ten years ago. My husband did this again. Previously he brought home a German shorthair from this banquet is and that dog is still with us but our house was cast all the time. I love that. Your husband is generous with charities. Maybe he could bring home like a watercolor painting or perhaps vacation fruit basket or this is everything he does everything thing he does it all have to be alive. Yes Well I don't even know I kind of just put up a wall now and don't really pay attention. I it always seems like it's something different by the way by the way I'm in the same situation kind of we didn't win the dog but I was told four and a half years ago that a certain someone in the family needed to have a dog and so we got that dog and that certain someone now spends about twenty five seconds today with that dog again. That dog is mine and if that dog does anything wrong Karen that is your dog. That is your flight. What did you name Amyot? GSP boomer boomer. Oh what a good name in his office and he has a white patch on his chest and of course we're attach now so handsome. So Bob German short haired pointers. What Ryan brought to my house and it was a puppy and very energetic hunting dog and after it Chuck the German shorthair pointer up in our house for about thirty six hours. My brother Mark took a slug out of his third Martinian said Sherry. I'm disappointed your cats are so so antisocial. They're being hunted by the Predator that your son brought to visit that was that was that dog glorious animals but but this is a hunting dog. What can you love the dog though right? You'd love boomer now I do. Yeah that's what happens. You know they just once so you get a puppy in your house. I mean even if you didn't want it after about two days you just your heart melts doesn't it yeah. He's super cute. Yeah yes super very good. That's right well Karen Gillan go check on them now he might need to go out. Okay I I get to do. Today's that day I'll listen to laugh. Yeah that's annoying last and knowing that is the knowing left right there. I wonder if in history there's ever been an instance where the dog was for someone else that someone else actually ended up taking care of that. Never HAP- I don't think I've never. I've never seen it in my own experience. I think that's stopped happening in one thousand nine hundred fifty nine right about the time people said you know you can't let the dogs wander all all of the neighborhood as soon as that happened though is care and good luck with the vet today. Yeah that should be cheap. Yeah and relaxing. Yeah yeah good time. Thanks Karen you take care you too. That's the way it is. That's Kevin won't let won't let us have chickens. Because he knows his was checking they'll be he says woman does chickens. We have a Fox that lives near our house. It shows up all the time. It is a woman. Those will not only be chicken to take care of. But I'll be digging chicken graves and have chicken funerals while the three of y'all cry. Why not get a rooster while you're at it? You know you. Oh you don't like sleeping late and we're not feud with Bob in Cherry stuff. You Wo- here on this. Show Bob Bob and Sheri hot cast on the Bob and Sheri. I'm a middle child now. I know you're the oldest threatened. Maximum totter the babies of their family But I'm a classic Middle Child. There's four years between my older brother and me and three years between my younger brother and me and they're both again. They're both boys so I come from this very traditional final Italian American background where girl children were not terribly valued. You know that we weren't anything. You would invest resources in because as my father pointed it out we were just going to get pregnant and waste everything. I like in education right. My older brother were thinking. My older brother was known as the brains of the family. My younger brother was known as the beauty of the family and I was the one whose job it was to clear and set the table like classic classic Middle Child stuff so I was reading the other day on elite daily reasons why middle children often grow up to be stronger in a lot of ways than their siblings thriller. Here we go so because middle children from the very beginning are compared to their other siblings in everything they do. They learn that they're not they. Don't have this idea that. Oh I'm so special. I'm the best and the brightest because from your earliest memory you get ranked on pretty good. Pretty good now. I think that it did me a lot of favors because I had stuff to prove telling my older brother that he was the brains of the family made him. Think that Hitting the Bong before school was something he could afford to do that because he's so smart smart and telling the other brother that he he was gorgeous and charming up turned out to not be a great thing to do because he didn't make any effort either. So I think I benefited from that are. This is good news because very often you hear that the middle child is the one who has a lot of issues nope the according to this middle children are awesome. And here's another reason when you're the middle child you very often at the end of the stick because the sticks but so long and the oldest is biting off a big chunk and everybody knows the baby's baby middle children baby is really the baby. Maybe do you remember the call that we got debate and there was a guy. And I I don't know what the derivation of the family was but they called him growing up the baby and now he still living at home. He's like twenty nine or thirty and the mother father still call them for baby. My nephew Evan up in Philadelphia they would he was in his forties was still living at home and they called him to baby because middle kids cousin because kids hand to get get the short end middle kids grow up to be more resilient as adults and if I have one thing going for me it's resilience. Here's another thing. Thank middle kids are used to being overlooked. Which means they developed the ability to adapt middle? Kids are not surprised when they're not The spotlight spotlight isn't on them. They're not special and they just adapt and get on with it whereas the baby and the brain are used to being treated as though how some specials going on the firstborn it's not always the brain and I'm a pretty good example of that the firstborn is so special because they're they're unique as he's I. They're the first ones out. Middle Children tend to do very well in corporate structures because from birth there used to take crap from people above and below. You tend to do well at work because you're used to that Middle Children tend to have the most cultivated personalities because nothing is handed to them. They're not the brain or the first or the special. They're not the baby. They're not coddled. Mill middle children have to develop personalities just to even be noticed in their own families to defend the firstborn much as expected. Sometimes too much sometimes too much too much Middle Children don't spend a lot of time bargaining with the parents because when the bargaining chips get handed out. There's not a lot leftover for the middle child course. Middle Children tend to be sneaky and subversive to I speak from experience. There was so much attention paid to my brothers right and wrongdoing that I flew under the radar alive and my family but that was the case. Middle Children grow up and as adults. You can see this. They're good at sharing because they've had to be good at sharing. What else a middle child gets if there is? Let's say a father who's got a quick temper the middle child concede the firstborn. Take it. Oh Yeah and and watch because the you know the oldest child is going to try to sneak in and get caught or org doesn't get good grades and the father has you know Yosemite Sam sort of temper. The Middle Child observes that and says you know. I don't WanNa go there because he will do. Do this if I do that. If the child is smart not only did I observe that with my older brother but I expect it my older brother to a jump on the bullet and defend me and my little brother Because I had watched him so carefully and so closely and I learned from I learned more from him and then he learned from him. I think Just by watching my older brother and the other reason that middle children turn out to be so strong as adults preys. He's is not something they're used to getting so they're not terribly motivated by. They have to get their enjoys elsewhere. Yeah they'd see that you might awesome but not as much as a first born. Children tend to be self-motivated. Not Praise motivated. I'm am I not a classic that's right in so many of these ways the first born you read anything at all and when the neighbors come over bobby is reading. Saint at all Bob. uh-huh it's Bob and Sheri here on this show the Bob and Sheri hot cast on the Bob and Cherry Hill. Lamar doing good yeah. We're talking about this morning or Mama coming to save my mom. My Mom ran the Soda Fountain and a Little Grill Drugstore in town and so that was a hang hang out for people adults and kids and everything else and we're our football team was having a miserable year and somehow discussion got on about the coach. And whether it's good coach your back coach and participated in the conversation. Don't remember exactly what I said. But some man that was at the Drugstore Doug Store went and reported that to the football coach so the next day at school football coach calls me into his office and assists me down and he says it's been telling me that you made some disparaging remarks about me and my country ability and you disrespected me. I'm I'm like what are you talking about me said having adult compel me this and he said You know that's disrespectful in I'm GonNa have to give you a few links for that. They had done well. I remember the conversation allegation but remember everybody talking about you know boggled by his coaching abilities. Whatever and I'm sure that I spouted off something about his lack of coaching ability? But that was talking about his Mama. What I'm saying? I know you came up in a small town but adults beaten up on kids. Where is that okay? So where does this go uh-huh and and so I said well I said I. I don't think we're going to do that. Oh Yeah we're GONNA do that. I just WanNa say what had a phone on his dad I said. Let me call the mom and let her come down here and you explain it to her and she thinks so then. We'll go from there as well call you Mama. He says I know your Mama. Call your mom so I called her and I sort of give a brief overview and she's it'd be incitement so we're sitting there and he's probably got the paddle out. He's thinking this is GonNa go great and so it was almost right before she got to the door. I can almost hear the whistle tune from the good the bad and the ugly She opened that door and she came in and she said her pocketbook down and she said give me a quick overview. What you're talking about the guy so well God the data da and I'm not gonna I'm not I can't tell you who it was but it was a an adult came and told me my mom was stopped that she said? Are you going WanNa sit here and tell me they. Somebody that considers himself at grown ass man paddle tail own a high school student to the coach because he said something about. You don't know what you're doing on the football field. And he goes well. Let's just look at it as a form of disrespect. My my Momma said well. You hadn't won any games so far this year. It seems to me that whatever they were saying it must have been trude. Did he say anything bad. As far as any KINDA cuts he goes no no he was just saying something bad about me and she said in so you won't put him over a desk and give him four or five weeks for that. He's the one that's my plan piece piece. It ain't happening ain't happening to me. And she said h you got a class. You need to be learning something. Because I don't have you down here not to learn. Go go to your class right now. I got up and left and she finished out talking to him and I've never heard anything else about. It is terrific. She's so right. I knew that he was in trouble. When your mom used the phrase A grown ass man that nine news actually going his way you know who makes you know who makes me sick in this story. The Guy who is hanging out at the soda. Oh to shop. That thought he'd suck up to the coach and adult saying something to the coach so he could ingratiate. I had an adult do that to me. Once as an adult old sucked up to Another guy he overheard me saying something and sucked up to this guide said. Did you hear the Bob Macey was saying that I have had no respect for this bum. Ever since. What kind of man does that? It's ridiculous I don't get my my role. I had plenty of opens when I was in school and she was all fine but this one this this this was different doing anything that you need to get but weapons for I. I've had my time. I've had my time in office but I I it feel like this is one that I you know. I deserve it but I didn't feel like it was one and I think my mom was going for that and then they evidently he's so I know your mom I'm thinking I don't thank you do so that's great. That's a great story. Yeah she came. Here she cleared that How old were you then? By the way I was a sophomore in Lasko and you were going to be bent over the desk of another man and paddled on the behind what website and they take. Hasn't it sounds like the seventies corporal punishment was very. I mean honestly itself you have a fetish for Husky country boys taking open for dissonant coach go to Husky and country boy dot com visa. That were if that. Were you know the kind of movie I'm talking about the coach have on those dark red coaches shorts you know. Yeah yeah to whistle right. Yeah look they no doubt about that but I mean you know that guy who went to the coach what what a little easily Azazel knowing Lamar as we do A SMART ASS. You is born not made so I know that you were mouthing off about something. Something to man up. He's a football coach. is going to get all kinds of trash agree. Yeah yeah so I was participating in a conversation nation with adults I mean we were. You know we were and I was out there in the middle of it but I mean you know the fact that I was talking to adults wouldn't sit anything that was you know off color or anything like that. He didn't say that my mom tried her best to get him to tell her through. The guy was at Tattletale. That was him but that didn't he. Would you know what's great eight about your mom. Your mom was a classic old school mom in that she was allowed to call her boy. Chowder head yeah right you seem you knew what the deal was you but nobody else was allowed to do that to you. Know it's an old school mom. Yes she was old school. Today's Today's he's helicopter MOMS We all believe our children are so profoundly gifted We will be amazed if someone came and told us something bad about our kids but we were raised by parents earns who were like. Oh Yeah my kid's odometer. This is the same mom. This is the same mom when I was in junior high school and banks. Were in when you grow your head you know the banks. I wanted to wear bang. Said you can't wear bangs. Your face is too fat. You tell you don't even think about my little brother. Her little brother Mike for any kind of diplomacy brother in lake tenth or Eleventh Grade Came home and his English teacher had given him. This is glowing Report on some project he done. My father took one look at that and said you got the right kid. Keep this good feeling the building because you know I know you when there's no way I mean does she Maybe you got the paper. I was in the fifth grade. Great when flair pants came out by everything straight. Legged flared pants. I came out. I wanted to pay fly leg bands. She said flatly you pay it. She said that's for thin boys but don't you. The women have no banks no flare pants but no woman from the football coach right. That's exactly right. Lamar thanks a lot. It's Bob and Sheri Blow here. Michelle Bob and Sheri Hot cast on the Bob and Cherry listening to the news story coming in this morning. About out the CEOS from the banks and the financial institutions who took government Snare Pace Act One guy. His pay is going. He's the head of he's the CEO for city. His pay goes from something like thirty eight million dollars a year. That's that's a good gig you know but thank. I can't even even fathom getting that kind of money. Goes from thirty eight thousand a year to something like a thirty eight million a year to something like nineteen million a year. He's GonNa how will I don't know. How will they manage? So you know the difference between I mean there are a lot of differences like education But the difference between a guy like that in me if they wacked my pay in half and I was still taking home after taxes. Something like eleven million dollars. I'd work for like one year and then yet that'd be that'd be familiar. The needs with these guys. You know they want more hundreds and hundreds and hundreds just just to say that I died with the most toys but that would not be me. I would take that eleven million dollars. Aren't they whack me in half if no they don't want me so I can take my eleven million dollars. Of course I would cover you guys. You know you might have to work two years. You're going to cover all of us 'cause chats here now and Chad Chad set up a little straighter when you said you were going to cover all of us. Yeah she might want to do two years or two years. Alright show I appreciate. It was good doing concerts. Don't pay for themselves. He needs the money so I I do call you guys. I can't tell you exactly how much but it would be very generous. And then I would take the rest and that'd be it. I'm getting a lot define a lot. I'm getting five hundred thousand dollars. I'm getting I'm just going to tell you straight up and I'm willing to gamble willing to do a little something something for me. A million you're going to do a little something for it. I'm going to need five million dollars and I'm willing to do a little snow makes you know what I'm ashamed. I can't give you this money because of what it does to you. Don't diminish yourself let me just let me just make this very very very clear if you anyone listening. I don't care if you have four heads if you will give me five million dollars whatever eh off give me one million dollars. Whatever get off Mike Coroner? Oh God you people bring disagrees. Still have to be a million bucks. But I'm working on the other corner across from Max. You know what I was surprised. Said I said I'd go for by five hundred hundred dollars. Something only elite vis you know what I mean paid for five million you can have that. Wow that the bad. I won't start working harder. It's Bob and Sheri and stuff you won't hear on the show the Bob and Sheri cast cast on the Bob and Sheri APP. Get it now in itunes store or Google play crystal took on it and I think when crystal takes on authorities she usually wins how you doing crystal. Yeah thanks for joining us here you were. You were what you're arrested by the police. Oh yeah a couple of times actually Well it all really started at started at school and Riding the school bus There's this boy on there and He lives in my neighborhood and he used his acting so ugly towards every girl that came on the bus. You know making sexual remarks and stuff so I called them on it And we got an argument and Like just the verb argument was in notorious thrown or anything but the school bus drivers. You didn't lightning because has gotten into two so she pulled over the bus and call the police and Because I want to move up to the front 'cause I would pass by in the past him and I probably would have sworn got him. 'cause I'm really the school whenever it comes to that kind of stuff but I wanted to move out of my feet and She called called the she called the police and they came and The police you know you need come up here and you need to talk those cells. What's going on and I was just because you know they? They weren't doing anything to the boy and he was the one being. Glenn I call them on it but so I didn't move. I was like well if you WanNa talk to me and come back here and uh-huh and So they didn't come back there actually mall. The guy came back there and he took me off the bus. He asked me how old I was. Seventeen good you're going to jail so okay does she. Sounds like a little bit doesn't she. I I love new going to jail. And the second time was It was in the school parking lot. Like where the buses load up kind of same kind of thing. the bus driver is a real you know media and she She had me an assigned seat for no. Oh repair eason. And I wouldn't sit in it because you know I'm GonNa have to wrap please and They asked me to move and I didn't and Again they arrested me off the bus and You the only person I've ever I've ever known only only kid I've ever known it's been arrested on a school bus. Let alone twice. Hello Christopher when she tells it it's like they wanted me to sit there and I said no I love crystal. She said you need to come back here. I don't think it happened exactly exactly like you know. There's drama with Crystal Crystal Crystal. said she's GonNa sit wherever she pleases so they were off the bus interested. Her every much still at school actually got too late now because yeah the school when she was like. Oh I got. I got written up too many times for being schoolteachers. It didn't really. I didn't like what they said. You know just a little conference you didn't like with teachers. said they're being mean to me so I had been online back. Okay and I got written up too many times. I had I went to school and I've been there for the past Last semester and now I'm finally back in regular what's going on here. Did you all school a little bit. Better Oh no no no no. I was so horrible. Oh my goodness so. You're happy to be back finishing out your senior year and it's I took all my core classes so like it was. There wasn't anything to do. I completed all my work really fast and crystal crystal on behalf of all tax payers. Tell us that you've got the grades. The passing get out of high school. I'm sorry are you going to be able to get out of high school in pass. Yes I can come back to this place if I wanted to do. They don't like me what do you. What do you want to do so mild-mannered what are you gonNa be when you grow up? Do you suppose physical. They're okay I could see you know she'll knock some sense into you you'll get you'll do your exercise. I really don't like the way this bone is working to start you in any clubs in school like the Anger Club. Sports of any kind like boxing. No I actually like I just. I don't have time I work all the time I've had I worked since I was about sixteen. And you know I don't have time to do other things do you have. A boyfriend is yeah and I guess he he Toes the line. Pretty we get. Oh He loves this only reason how you can put up with me family life at home with your mother and father. It's good you know is the best parents in the world. I wouldn't trade. Oh for anything but it was tough. You know I've always been crazy little kid like on I.. Bowler issues and we'll English use that anger management and just I just. I don't like people telling me what to do and I'm GonNa do it my way. How did how did you enjoy? Anger Management Well I got in a fight the second tell us about that. Well you got hall but you people who were angry together anger management. I was going And it's every Tuesday and I got in a fight at school. This girl has got him my face and I just I brought her down. I wasn't gonNA habit and And but I went in anger management. They said so. How was your day today as it was pretty crappy you know again to fight? They're like all men. You don't can't do that. I was like well it happens. You know I can't do anything about it now but it's just you know I just can't crystal. You're you're like the little powder keg of dynamite Mike You I. Do you know what I would want her. As my real estate won hers and my bodyguard dessert. I just wasn't going to have it. took her down. It's it's Bob and Sheri stuff you here on this show Bob and Sheri hot cast on the Bob and Sheri Katrina joins US right now. How old were you when you did this? Job Katrina What was the job? I was babysitting for my mother's friend. You know I think turning over Hold was the Child Child Charles Patriots sitting at nights you. I was babysitting nine year old a six year old and a two year old so the had to change diapers to well. You were at the age of nine though. Probably the other nine year old was was a Was An early nine did they. Other year year. Old Respect your authority not always was boy. It was a boy. Yes I just sense that so you were telling him boy your your age what to do yes. I was a bit grown up for my age. I was going to say Bob was saying that. This'll be like during the break his Hamptons babysitting be Hampton taking care of a three year old a three year old a three year old Hampton Hampton changing diapers Hampton This is little billy and He's going to need his diaper changed three or four times today. I want to do a good job right right. Mom showed you how right. Okay good are. We're GONNA leave you alone in the house for while you can't picture it you must have been very matured citrin. I I had to grow up very early so yeah I didn't get paid for Watching those three boys but I did have one that I had to watch the two year old and I think I got paid like seventy five dollars for the entire summer. Kisses herm kind of money right here. You know you made up better with the free hot talks you. Oh you did Katrina really got the shaft so you were just doing this as a favor. Well my mother actually told me that I had to. My Mother didn't work and neither did this woman so I don't know why I had to watch these children. But they weren't there. Were they going out hustling sailors. I mean they were yeah yeah they went to the pool so they probably at the casinos are huge kidding. You know we read about people like you and the new the new year old caring for three small children. Wow and the yeah. That was about twenty years ago and the two mothers were off. Who knows where Blair has? I have no idea God if anything went wrong. Can you imagine you would have your mother would have been well if it was Nancy Grace. If she was still if the one time I was actually watching my baby sister and she wandered down the street. I think I was About ten and she wonder under down the street and a cop came and brought her home and my mother chastised me in front of the car and then like as we were leaving I was I was so upset because I had no idea those to be walking Katrina. What were you doing when you were supposed to be watching the baby probably watching TV? Weren't you at the park playing. And and the COP cop stood there while the parent of the child blamed you for the baby wandering off. Yes and the cost looked at me and said you need to keep people watch on your baby systems. The cop the coupling do cop blamed me. I was I was in pieces and when we got back to the house. I'm on said did that for sho go play you know what you know. What your child who plays you had a full scholarship to co dependency academy ahead of me? I Bet I turned out to younger siblings and I was always raising the younger siblings if I wanted to go to the mall or stay the night with my friends. I did take my baby sister with me to stay the night with my friends so I bet you grew up to be a caretaker real responsible. Real code is that true. If I'm the only one of my siblings who is married home and you know pays her bills on time. Is your mother ever in jail. Yes jail and prison then. Well the one that she was in prison for drug trafficking she was a CO conspirator to commit the drug trafficking associated out doing drugs while I was watching all of these neighborhood children. Oh I think that's probably the case. God you just. I was just picturing a a woman who was kind of like my mother's friend Connie's Zimmerman who just you know so tired. I wanted to but this sounds like it's something more serious serious and your father. Your father wasn't around I guess No now my father. He lived on the other side of town and he only had we every other weekend visitation and but a lot of times. I was too independent. I really didn't care to go. You know rules set it on the weekends. So take your baby says the you know the funny thing is my mother and my father actually had four children together With like my mom wanted to have Oliver Kids by the same dad even if you know the old fashioned you're a good mom you know. Isn't she ridiculous tied to tradition. It's Bob and Sheri and stuff. You won't hear here on the show the Bob and Sheri cast on the Bob and Sheri App get it now. I do store or Google play. Let's go to Kate Bob. Hi Kate. How are are you good? Thanks for calling us. What's the what's the rule that you have set up? I actually have three and it's really bad because I wrote this custody agreement myself so I kind of backed myself into a corner but one of them was that no significant other Can come to any the events including birthday parties and outings still trips and dinners so if you have a birthday party for how many kids do you have. I have two kids is your your ex-husband can come. But not his girlfriend correct and I bet when you wrote that you were really thinking about your ex husband's girlfriend and not really thinking about how this this would turn out around to bite you in the face right exactly. Yeah it has in in what way. Obviously you met somebody and I can't bring him either is is this until the kids are eighteen. You know I probably suppose suppose he married married. Would he then get the dispensation of bringing his new wife to the birthday party at quitting to the custody agreement now I would have to change. The I agree with you so crazy thinking and then we did have you. Are you dating the invisible man because this is the only only way out of this Katie really bad. Because he can't come either he's actually not even allowed in the house. What is that great saying? I love it so so much. That anger for something is like poison that you give someone else that kills. You just came right back on you so you what what is this. What do you mean not allowed in the house? Yeah he's not allowed in the house. Is that your second rule. You said there were three. Just one of the part of this stipulation is that they're or not. He can't be in the house when the kids are here. The second rule called the first right of refusal which means that neither of us can have a babysitter her without the person knowing and agreeing. UK which is horrible which is hard because you know. How am I supposed to know whether this person Oh is good or bad right right and neither of us have ever agreed on a babysitter? Can I can I guess on the third rule can can can. I guess I let me guess. Let me guess he dies early. Be Nice now the serveral is you. We have to live within sixty miles round trip of each other thirty miles away really bad how. How is that impact impact you and that you can't? We can't go anywhere. I mean you just can't travel somewhere but you have to come back and live near him right actly Kate. It kind of helps with the whole refusing babysitters. Because we've always got the kids. Neither of US can agree on a babysitter. That are so so kate. I'm how long have you been divorced. We've been divorced almost three years so For people listening right now that are in the early stages of this and you know they're Out there What have you learned about the process that you would share that? You'RE GONNA move on and even though you're hurting right now at that time your if you make these rules it's it's going going to bite you in the butt because you are going to move on and you're going to want that person to be in your kids life and now we've been together for for we're almost two years and he's not allowed in the house now. Katie did. Did Your ex-husband cheat on you with the person's with now not with anybody nobody right now how can he. I'm exhausted and I've just met you so you have a relationship with the guy you're dating that you say two years two years. He's never met the children now. He has method children. We I we can go over there. He just can't come over here. So what kind of crazy jacked up world. Are we living in that you. You could marry this guy. And he can't come to his own family members birthday party. Why don't you go back to your ex and renegotiate negotiate? I think we and timely would but it's still really fresh because even though we say were over it and we've moved on if we start talking about the divorce we get really angry and bitter towards each other. Approach him as soon as he gets a girlfriend. Don't you you think Sherry if he does not have anybody in his life right now nothing changes. I don't know Katie. If you're a religious person but I'd be on my knees every night on plea a sweet benevolent baby. Jesus Bring unto him a swimsuit model a man I true beat. Beat that's all I would think about every time I threw a penny somewhere that it'd be my wish. Please please let my ex-husband model Amen. And then the mini got one. She's she's awesome. What a great person? Let's renegotiate exactly right exactly but you know still when it comes down to it. We're when we're like. Does this person do drugs. This person smokes. Does this person so even with if we change the stipulation we've still got stipulations. Because you know I don't want my children near a certain type of person but isn't it possible now even if I'm even if we accept that your ex husband is the biggest D. Bag alive. Isn't it possible that he could meet a really lovely person who is. It's not a drug abusing PSYCHOPATHIC MANIAC. Who who would be okay in your children's lives could that is very true but it's highly unlikely likely love you Katie? Thank you so we aren't good luck. It's Bob and Sheri Listen. They knew Bob and Sheri Very Twenty. Four seven Bob and Sheri Dot Com. This is a time of year when a lot of people go not do a spring cleaning but do a getting rid of stop and I was thinking about that when you were running through your list of gadgets that yes or whatever reason we hold onto Do you ever go back and look cat. Some of the crap that you're holding onto and in the moment it seemed like yes. I must have this. I must keep this forever. I'm doing it's really really depressing because it's money the out the door it is. It's well you you're like man. If I had the money back that I spent on stupid stuff. Don't go there. It'll drive you out of your mind but I'm so sacramental I periodically have to go down. Have a closet. Downstairs and in that closet are boxes and boxes and boxes of school stuff from my daughter's going back to when they were in kindergarten and so I've recently went through one of those boxes. It was one of Carolina's boxes and in the moment when I saved everything. Thanks I saved everything and figured I'll be able to like in this moment. All of this is precious to me but at some point in the future. I'll be able to let go. Oh of a three inch stack of math worksheets from verse Creighton. And and I was finally able to do that. I I mean I got rid of a a whole box full of stuff. That wasn't precious at all A math worksheet not super precious. Unless you're six month old baby can do Algebra. In which case I would save that. But your first grader. Doing basic subtraction. That's not anything that you can probably expect to need. And so I got rid of all all of that and then for some reason in that same balks I had kept like an empty cranberry juice bottle bottle and I sat there for the longest time looking at that. cranberry juice bottle and trying to remember. What was it about this empty bottle of ocean spray? That was so loaded it with emotion in that moment the figure it out now and I ended up recycling it but I think part of the reason we keep some of those old flip phones and all those busted things. Things is because there's so much emotion still attached. Yeah I guess so or we don't know how to get rid of them which has been what we were discussing a little while ago so That doesn't bother me the flip phone doesn't bother me at all really. It is weird looking because it's so antiquated antiquated compared to an iphone carrying an iphone at route. What bothers me is I look at some clothes that I purchased and it was just a it was a stupid momentary commentary by you know and I look at it and I went okay? That sure was forty dollars. Forty dollars is is not gonNa you know. Put me over the top but it was forty dollars players that I had and I don't even like to shirt anymore. You know what I mean. That's that's where my stuff is or certain when I was buying CD's certain CDs. All of yes. I heard one song I like. I haven't played that. CD In ten years. 'cause there's only one song I like and it was seventeen dollars or whatever it was I have to be super careful careful about saying that I like something because if I say I like something I get a hundred of that thing. Oh you mean like for the holidays in order for my birthday or whatever that is that is a good first world problem to have except then you have one hundred electric salt Shaker Salt Shaker and in a hundred fun potholders and one hundred pairs of socks with whimsical cats on them. More than anybody needs right. And you're never going to use. Is it all or you. Don't even want it in the house but there it is and you feel terrible like you terrible in rowing. It's one thing to donate made it but you feel terrible throwing something away Because once upon a time people didn't throw away the toaster when it broke the fixed. It right right exactly but it's so much there are there are no fixed. Chops are very few of them now. But I mean I've I've purchased plastic watering cans. Right so I I bought a new really was one but I thought I'd get to because I had walk all the way to the other side where I was watering flowers. So now I have for some reason. Like four watering cans. I don't know how it got. All these watering hands. Cut them in their each sixteen dollars and it's a waste kept texted. Stiff me a link to something saw online. There were these heavy duty. Cardboard boxes with compartments each compartment holds a single Christmas ornament and he texted means that we need these and in that moment I wanted to leave work and take him for an MRI of his brand since bindis Kevin One. Hey Hey Sherry from the Bob and Sheri Show I thank you so much for listening to our podcast. Really appreciate you you. You're the reason that we do it. And the reason that we're able to keep doing it and I just want to mention that if you hear political advertising of any kind any campaign any race any party adjacent to any bob and Sheri Show podcast. Please know that we did not approve that advertising we did not accept that advertising. We're NOC compensated for it. In fact we have asked every streaming platforms there is to exclude our programs from all political messaging. Why because political messaging makes people furious? And we're trying really hard to have the Bob and Sheri show be a politics free island so please know if you hear it you're hearing it at our protests. We don't want it there. Were trying to have it removed. Thank you so much for your patience. Let's get back to the show. Get the free bobbins Jerry asking instantly get the podcast the odd cast and Bob and Sheri Fan size so guys. I was reading an article about little things that men can do to be more more romantic. You do a couple of these already. Yeah yeah yeah which ones bullets. Let's hear them while the one that you did the one that I immediately. When I saw it I went well? That's the B. Obey. What is texting and Emoji for? No reason like the heart is bullet. Trains whatever's kind of lame. Hey my husband will not use emoji still will not know you told me. He used them a couple of times not EMOJI. He'll do like the you know like this the the colon and the slash winky those who will do the weekend. That's a winky an apostrophe. It's a it's Semicolon. So you've got a semi colon is still intelligence by man's blading a semi colon to you. You said a winky. I'm sorry I don't know that. So you do that. You text Emoji for no reason. Yeah Yeah Yeah I mean. Usually there's some text along with it. If you got pretty good and then I put a Hartson awesome. This is going to be challenging for alive. That doesn't make me cazenove. I gotta be honest myself. It makes you more than more than that. Can you take your winds thankful. That's a win. The Moon lecherous the next one doctor Jessica O'Reilly the hellish. She has a podcast called sex with Dr Jess. She said that you should kiss this. Your partner men with dog energy. She said you know how your dog greets taught lies around a lot the golfing greats you. Oh yeah with enthusiasm and a wagging tail when I come Home Sam Barks and he spins encircles and he's so filled with joy. You're my wife doesn't want that with kissing dog. She doesn't I'm telling you. She does not want dog energy in that area. How do you know that she doesn't want August? I do I know my woman. Todd do you think that your girlfriend would like for you to kiss her with dog energies it. I am never going to say I'm about to kiss you with dog energy because you know what at that point in time. She's GonNa grab a tennis ball. Take me me out back and starts rolling back you can get the crazy is oh you don't want those crazy Ken okay. I don't think women want to have that sort of crazy. Aggression Shen with your mouth coming at them should be some tenderness. I walked in the door today and Kevin ran at me and eat like in a playful way and gave me some dog energy. Heck yes I would love that it would make me laugh. I love it. What's the next excellent spend sixty seconds every single day that makes your partner feel important? That can be anything from a warming coming up her car or cleaning off her laptop screen or fixing her her favorite drink sixty seconds or telling her a fascinating fascinating story that you don't think that you told her from your past. That's not on here but I'm sure to really does. He makes me breakfast every day and he pours pours boiling. Hot Water. Into my Yeti and said that it's really hot and then when the coffee goes in it stays hot nice. I make coffee for my wife every day. Thank you for the little things and remember you can never go wrong by paying extra attention to her neck. We loved that is that right. I told you that a million times. Why don't you listen? Because I'm just a dumb lug nut what we discussed how much we love when you kiss. I know what my wife like. I'm S- Madison. If you're you're listening I'm sorry. Just sorry I do girl that dog energy for your Mama. Oh I hope. She's not in the car. I know exactly what my wife likes to kiss her. She she she does it. She doesn't want to spend like an hour and a half around there. You know. Nobody's asking for that but if you came up behind her while she was cooking or something and I just moved her hair aside and gently nibbled on her neck. She'd say. What do you want coaching? Not Enough all right Let's see here's another one. You're not GONNA do this. None of Y'all know she's in the shower. Yes Okay and you see. She's in the shower. And you very carefully disappear into the laundry room in with a towel which you run in the tumble dryer. Just a few minutes and as she exits the shower. You wrap her towel again. My sincere apology Madison. I would do that. I would definitely do that. I don't do laundry room. So far footage far down. It's three flights of stairs now. I have to run like a it. I don't do don't do the drier but I do. Put it over like the Hesselink fireplace. You do that. Oh that's not because I told. Schmuck what are you talking about. You combine that warm towel with a dog energy next skull awesome worthies. We'll pause dog energy guys. Don't forget those two words it's Bob and Sheri it stuff. You won't hear on the show the a Bob and Sheri hot cast on the Bob and Sheri ads so we're talking about easy peasy ways. That don't cost an anti money. That man could be more romantic except except for me warming a towel for my wife. You can't do that in your house. I'm no I'm going to get you back here. Because she's in the shower flora. You have to see her in the shower then you have to sprint downstairs. Warm up the towel and get back up there with the hotel before she gets out. That's that's an awful lot of pressure on me. It's a lot of time. Yeah I know you're off the hook for that but that just means you have to put you have to lean a little harder to give her some dog energy when you hugger. Sorry go ahead. What's the next hello practice saying these three phrases more often phrase number one and you're good at this do this? You look and then I am very good very good. It's very easy with her. I mean she's really a pretty woman for the rest of the end of a Beagle. Ego's struggle for Y'all thank you keep my wife of compliment. I'm just saying no. What are you going to turn that around? Auto me venerate myself that much. I'm saying she and David David after struggling Doug Lob even the hideous of us every once in a while we can clean up and look pretty decent. I mean you know. There's been a few times where Jan said you know what it's light outside. It's it's okay you can go out. People won't be offended. They'll look at you. You know what man I'm GonNa get you a nice hot towel. Well you'RE GONNA have to run three floors down but hey you know what that'll help your daily burnt. That's good. That's good. Yeah you're right last thirty. Oh Yeah I'm GONNA hop all the way the next phrase that you should say more often you are also very good at miss you. Yeah this last one a texter this last one. I don't don't know very many guys. That are very good at this. All this is the hardest wine. What is it WANNA dance? That is a hard one hard. She loves to dance. You know I wish I. We're a better dancer and I wish I felt more comfortable on dance floors. I don't think I'm the only guy that feels that way. This women love to dance. What did they do when they go out with their girlfriends? They the dance. They just love to dance. My husband does not love he is very bashful about any kind of public display dancing speechmaking speechmaking toast giving he just can't you just can't and you accept the. Yeah because he's so great at tap dancing lessons with you which I thought was was really amazed. He did but he stopped because he could not bear the part where we go across the floor. He couldn't bear to be watched. Would the part where you go and tap class. You know you tap altogether and then across the floor either in ones or twos or threes or whatever so that our teacher Ms Tiffany can check our technique. Can he couldn't he never performed on stage. He is so great at so many other things and there's so many stellar qualities that you know if I want a man that can make a speech which I have you take turn now. This is something that y'all could do to be more romantic. And this is the damned straight truth is just talking about this sniffer Wendy Take some take more turns taking charge of decision making about like what we're going to. We're going to go on vacation education. What hotel and when I come home for the weekend having for dinner say how pork chop sound MHM instead of? I don't care and then when I put something in front of vast as empty calories you know what will be more okay but you have to give us a complete heads up on on that like I I I gotta I gotTa heads up from work yesterday. Saying I'm going to turn it over to you for dinner tonight. She's she said I'll be there at seven fifteen. Well I didn't see it until like six fifty so now I'm driving like crazy person over trying to figure out what it is GonNa get the grill up and I did it But it just added pressure I. I don't know why you got no food in your house. There's no food I sh- I shop every day almost every day and she does talking crap every week. I shop a couple of times. Yeah Yeah Here's this is there more but this is the last one right. Something love notes are great and I'm sorry note is amazing. Amazing thinking about you on a post. It note I cannot tell you how much we love that. I know that I know that because I get the puck them. You don't do or I. Why do you can't use running down to make a hot towels? EXCUSE CA start writing notes running down and really multitask like you. Gals do get the new Bob and Sheri at instantly get the podcast and I finally found a parent who I don't WanNA trade schedules with the actor. Mark Wahlberg Mark Martin. I've read what you read. Oh my God. He was asked by okay a fan on instagram dude. Man You got four kids. You're forty seven years old. How in the world do you look like that? So Walberg post-it his schedule Joel on his instagram. And I just I gotTa tell you I'm going to run the schedule down and at the end of it you're going to say I'm GonNa Keep My dad bod or I'm GonNa and just stay the way M. There's no way that I'm willing to work this hard to look like Mark Wahlberg. It is the craziest schedule that I have ever seen. He gets up at two thirty. A M that's when his alarm goes off at two forty five. Am Prayer Time Three fifteen a m breakfast three forty to five fifteen a m workout five five thirty a m post workout meal six. AM shower seven thirty. Am Gulf eight am snack. Let me pause here you can play. How much golf can you play in? Thirty minutes. Could be practising or or. He has the snack while he's well. He's coughing at nine thirty. AM He gets in. The chamber. For recovery Bob Nigh We know we have a client who does cry chamber recovery. QC Kinetics and they. It's this the thing. Were only your head sticks out of the tent. I don't know it's like forty below zero in there. We saw some hockey players. Go through it. It really works apparently like people that do it. Say It's like a complete game changer. But you know mantle like to be cold of course. I also don't like to get up at two thirty. AM and work out all right next up at ten thirty. Am We have another snack then eleven. Am We have family time slash meetings slash work calls one PM lunch two PM meetings slash work calls three PM. Pick up kids at school. Three third by the way by that. He's been up ten and a half hours. Yeah three thirty. PM Snack Four PM workout number to Oh five PM shower five thirty PM dinner slash family time seven thirty PM bedtime. Which means he does not watch any primetime time? TV now this is this is home of course when he's making a movie who knows. But that's that's how that's how it goes to thirty in the morning. He starts the day. That is the craziest thing I've ever heard. But did you see the picture of the guy in one of the news magazines. He looks incredible. I believe every every word of it. Oh I do too because there's no way you look like that without doing all of that. The Gulf thing you know it takes four hours for eighteen holes. It takes half the two hours for nine holes right. I think he's going to a driving range hitting a few balls or at home impeach the backyard. So I I studied on this. You realize that he has two big workouts that both last more than an hour to big workouts. I do Every other day if I'm on target could be every three days about thirty minutes of The daily burn. That's the best I got and you look like I don't like that. I don't look like that. But which is that to higher price. It is too high a price but he has to take his shirt off all the time he goes to the beach and there's a photographer they're going to take a picture of them. Have you ever seen some of the the photographs. APPs that Sylvester Stallone. Arnold Schwarzenegger were shot with where they're just totally out of shape and then they're on the national inquires front-page. David David David Spade and molly was on our show and he said he could hear the click and he said I knew I was out of shape and I knew what was going to happen. I remember disguise in the movies. He's probably we going to have to take his shirt off when he's in the movies for certain seats. I remember reading in Men's Health magazine that Every day his first breakfast every day okay. That's something you to have in common eats breakfast twice eats all day long. I was waiting for somebody to criticize him well. His snack listened to what needs for breakfast. He has egg Weitz on sprouted green. Zeki Oh bread with almond butter avocado. That sounds good. Yeah that sounds good. Well it sounds good. If you're not Lamar Dr or my husband might sound. I had a similar breakfast the other day. I don't know what the Ezekiel bread is. But it was close to that you. I don't think you you would like Ezekiel bread. What is it it's It's really dense. I was gonna say it sounds dance. Yes really dance. Yeah it's not your it's not your thing white white wheat all right. It's still wheat. I know I know it's not so anyway. That's his Schedule good for him at works. But you know actresses have been doing this for years and years if you're if you're an actress and you're going to be shot in your underwear or we're doing nude scene and all of that. I don't think they go to this to this extent but they still work out constantly. Do you remember when Madonna was touring Years ago ago I mean Sh. Her workout was grueling. Yeah he told Men's health magazine he said. There's no way I'm going out eating dinner drinking wine fine. No Way I'd go home. I go to bed if I finish work at eight PM. I tried to be in bed at nine PM. You've got to put the work in and then you gotta get the rest and recovery. That's what would it take. His work ethic is strong. I you know I think that Mark Wahlberg is one of the biggest surprises in movie history. Because who would have thought coming where he came from and his initial forays in the show business with the underwear ads and the Marky mark thing. Who would have said that? He'd he'd be the sort of star that is now and he's a good actor he I agree with you. He may be the single biggest surprise. Not just in the entertainment industry. Yeah but in the history of delinquent bad boys yeah because he's a good family Matt it's at least seemingly. I don't know what goes on behind closed doors but he's married a long time. Scott all the kids I just you know I feel like I deserve metal. If I don't eat candy for a week you we know like Oh. I've given up sugar schedule brutal. But his face in his body is part of his info. That's how that's his business business. And that's the way it looks at it and stuff you won't hear on this show Bob and Sheri hot cast on the Bob and Cherry half a hope. You Rav that clip a few minutes ago where Nicole Kidman going out with him. He was oblivious to the idea that he could get a date with a woman that hot we started talking talking about has. has this happened to you. Who Average people have that and show? You didn't think so. And then I thought of one time and then I remembered when I was was like fifteen years old. And if you don't have an older brother if you're the oldest brother you've got no blueprint unless you've got a a cousin you're close two or your father for some reason is going to talk to you about women. You are like struggling blind in the forest. You have no idea rightly are on in your own right so. There's a really cute girl that I was going to school with name cookie mccarey and You know I'd see you're here and there and I had no idea the cookie mccarey wanted to go to the North Haven Fair with me. You know none and that was a big thing. There wasn't much going on north haven but but win the fair came by. It was an excuse to get away from your parents. And you know you'd get like five bucks to spend at the fair and you could be alone with other people your age so Some of the guys would take their first girlfriends. They're run fifteen years old. What did I know? And then my friend Richie comes up to me and he says hey. I just talked to cookie mccarey. And she wants you. She wants and of course I didn't I said to do you want me to do what no good at math. I can't help her their wing out to the garage for her father washed his car. What is their money in this for me? I I have to do what now you idiot now and it and it was true and and that was actually the the first girl that I actually went on a date with to the north haven. Fair this is why like in middle school and high school. This is why your friends are such valuable assets as wingmen and wing women. Because you can't do these things on your own. You need your friends to help see my wife's listening right. MG saying I am so right. This guy is oblivious to everything. He's often his own were am I often in my own world sometimes. Yeah sometimes nothing wrong with that really. Are you Colombo now. You've got to be paid attention to detail. Yeah you're not solving this week's crime I'm getting through the day get. There's a bad caulker in the world has bob doing. Is I just getting through the day. Drive off a bridge or nothing today Iran. You're getting through somebody waiting for the Blue Jello Jello at lunch. Stand up clean. Your pants were sober thank you day. Yeah Yeah my pants zipped well. It's easier this time. It's so cold outside what's that. Oh my God I forgot this business like I have poor sit. It's called situational awareness. It's not a good thing to not have it and I don't have a lot of it either because I'm also in my head most of the time kind of drifting along thinking my own thoughts and I miss a lot a lot of things. Why don't we have to be studying everything that's going on point you know I mean what am I gonNA? What am I going to change really? That's what I say I say Kevin so have you for for the next time. Mary calls you on that. Say Sweetie. That's why I have you to find the six fingered cabdriver. I'm thinking thoughts. I'm getting through through the day. Excuse me I'm just trying to think how that goes over. I can be oblivious to everything that's why I have you to study everything. Give me updates on what's going going on. Look if both of us are looking at the six fingered cabdriver. Who's thinking the thoughts that what do you need? What do you need your clone for except to thoughts? I'm usually thinking I wonder. What am I gonNA eat next while you're getting through the day that's part of getting through the day it's not like I'm coming up with some big master plan to get blood? Let sugar drops. You've got to get through the debt. I can't get through the day. Do Fine Okay. Yeah I'm still here and you're -CCOMPLISH lanny really. Yeah look at you. I'm sitting here talking would you. That's what I'm saying why that it's not taking place in your own bag. You had to get up get trashed you at the drive for like twenty five minutes and they pay pay me and you had to avoid not running over a deer. That's exactly right. They voting. You've been listening to the best of shared for sure to check out our website. BOB AND SHERI DOT COM download our free APP to get the odd cast the podcast and barberry sides instaflex. Hey thank you so much for listening to the Bob and Sheri podcast and the Bob and Sheri very odd cast. We would love if you subscribe rate and review and share it with a friend on facebook twitter instagram. Wherever you go and thank you again for listening?