18 Episode results for "Claude van damme"

Street Fighter (Film) - GMMF With Trashed Talk

GamesMyMomFound

1:15:00 hr | 2 years ago

Street Fighter (Film) - GMMF With Trashed Talk

"<music> everybody into a very special episode that we're bringing to you guys tonight. I am Mike Alberton from gain my mom phone and who's with me tonight added offered from trash talk podcast and we are here now only with ourselves but the rest of the trash shock podcast cast cast as well as the cast of games my mom found Travis and give it to you now all right you know I'm always happy to be here. Got Some beer got some friends you know Oh and and the rest of that against my mom found cast Hello Stephan J._d.. Minds all supervisory we've ever done and we're bringing you guys. A real special episode seven hive mind. It's works had met while when he first started this we both started shows kind around the same time and we also had promoted his show early on in trash are both means Stewart have guested contrast are often and has guest starred on here. We WanNa bring a special episode. Would you be listening to either on the trash. Talk Feed or can be listening to games or game my mom feet so we're hoping that if you like us and you're on you should definitely subscribe to each other channel and take a listen to each of these shows and before we get too far into what we're going to mainly be talking about in this episode. We're going to do a special show from trash. Talk and often has some real news or fake news for us today. Let us do that all right so with our show I present four pieces of news one of which is fake all a ridiculous movie related news and you guys have to guess which is a fake piece of news in with every show if you guess wrong you've gotta take like a really big swigging beer beer and if you guess right I got two big old swig of my Moscow mule the I am drinking so I'm GonNa Start with Travis. I Travis. I'm GonNa give you the first piece of news which may be fake or may be real young. Give us your thoughts on you ready to go all right then you love them. Then it came out last year it made almost billion dollars critics care for it so much but audiences loved it made eight hundred million dollars and it has a sequel coming coming up will the director who is now busy directed Zombie land to he's too busy with that so he's not coming back to direct them to the fake piece of news. Is that the director. It looks like it'd be hired his anti circus who is the actor who does law motion capture such as Caesar from the plan to apes films and also column of course from Lord of the Rings and he's GonNa be directing this and the rumor is he will be doing the motion capture her for them as well as maybe carnage Sesa Fake News Travis tell us the real or not that might be high hiring director who will also be doing a lot of motion capture as well you know most like as as being a good idea because he already knows like a lot of what he's planning on doing with the motion encaptures so you can make it all right of anyway so he has any what he has envisioned for this and like having indirect all the other scenes I think I think that could work out really well for them. I kind of like that idea yeah pretty good. Yeah all right. Mike you ready to go. I am ready so on trash podcast podcast for live real news fake news section. We talk a lot about Disney. We'll also talk about how dizzy is constantly. Doing these reboots like like the Milan live action. The Little Mermaid Elena tramp live action. They're just doing anything that can't earn extra buck will this week. They're back at it again this time with announced that they are doing the live action rescuers down under the Classic Disney film about whether mice or something they ride eagles in the L. Gathering Pelican Pelican while they're doing a live action kind of in the vein of a bad example but the smurfs movie movie how there was C._G._i.. Creatures in this case will be the mice in a live action world so the Pelican in the mice will be jibe. Everything else also be in the live action some Mike. How does it sound or did you even watch rescuers down under when you were little I have watched issued under kidby? Remember nothing of vote for a person who spent way too much on the Internet. I have not heard of this so okay. I'll leave it at that. All right and number three was go you will Stewart Stewart we got for you the Ladan Movie Aladdin <hes> it's doing okay bye. Okay creeks don't really care for it but it has made one billion dollars. The question is does this sound real or fake that Aladdin movie that no one really asked for being a whole billion dollars <hes> it definitely made over billion dollars because that's Disney's emo is movies that nobody really wants to see what somehow make a shitload of money despite that so yeah I- hundred percent believe a made to her billion dollars makes sense okay am last. We're going go in with some joker news. I know how much you guys know about. The joke movie. That's coming out on Phoenix is well. The turn led a one one is thankfully being canceled but yeah I know right. No one wants to see that as well as the joker Harlequin movie now it's canceled. Thank God probably the jared Leto for a while 'cause he's off doing a Sony Marvel more BS Sullivan Vampire movie with people also don't see but anyway but at least it's like a vampire so that is true looks a lot more like it'd be a pyre bid joker right well this piece of news. Is that the joker movie. Let's let's be honest. Cop Movies Very Fun Selim well done but our film festival worthy no the joker movie for this fake piece of news or real. The joker movie is going to the Toronto Film Festival which will be the first time a cop movie will have gone there and the chair. The head of the Film Festival said that there's a good chance that the joker movie might make it to the Oscars not might. He said that he's willing to bet put on the joker movie getting nominate maybe winning some Oscars so what's your reaction to that. <hes> I'm calling bullshit and why it just doesn't look like that type of movie that would go to that film. Festival sure makes Niro's rose in it yeah Robert Deniro isn't it nowadays at this really mean much fair enough all right now guys were going to go down the list and you guys going to tell tell me which one are the four them quickly go down. The list. indie circus is directed venom to the live action rescuers down under Aladdin make one billion dollars in the jerk movie going to the Toronto Film Festival in potentially the Oscars which one is a fake news and why Travis. We're GONNA start with you all right. I'm going to go. This is a tough call. I'm going to have to go with the joker going to film festival and winning Oscars. There's an I've never seen a superior that movie that could do. It and I just don't think it's going to happen now. Okay Fair Enough Mike. You're up next. I think that a rescue ranger thing is fate because I never heard of it and the rescue rangers is different from the rescuers down under. I'm still pretty sure strike okay. I'm not even drinking yeah drinking. I can't I gotta Dr Stewart which WanNa fake piece of news. <hes> rescuers down under is fake because rescuers down under is the sequel <hes> rescued their first movers. That's called the rescuers words. I don't do a live action movie and a sequel before the original bullets that franchise I meant just the franchise General GonNa make a franchise out of it by meant the franchise there again in a live action adaptation of that franchise. Oh that changes everything. I still think it's fake. I still still can't see them doing. There's so many other movies out there. I don't know why they'd be like we're doing the rescuers next make sense and what it is the last piece of news our for our last guest of the Games on mom found. Which one do you think is the A._B._C. News <hes>? I guess I'M GONNA have to go with the rescuers as well even though I still don't think that joker stuff is GonNa work out yeah just it just it doesn't. I don't know how that could even be turned into live action just be weird and Freedom Lion King happen. That's all I gotta say but still yeah fair enough <hes> but yeah I'm GonNa go with that all right in before we get to street fighter announced the fake news which is it's awesome till drinks because rescuers down under I try to give you a beer Austin. I'm going to have to get under a beer because that's three for me. While I take a whole bunch of swigs from my Beer Aung passed the torch off. Do you all right and the yogurt tiger is going to the Toronto no fester. Hey that movie actually looks very interesting and hey little gone. I don't give a highly different yeah. It's it's not it's not gonna be your average on a bookie movie. I feel like it's not going to be it's going to be more. I much more realistic piece which you can do it younger. It's going to be in a realistic realistic way which Zack Snyder has never been able to accomplish but I'm so glad he's gone. He's done it on going to tie into the D._C.. The universe alone it's a Senate and what it is. It's a standalone until it does way better than any other DC movie and then the good thing about any like D._C.. Or Marvel movie you can say it's it's another one of the world is part of the multi. It's part of the world it can can be whatever you want it to be somehow fitted in it doesn't have to exist in the same cinematic world to be in the same universe. Let's say yeah so all right now onto our feature presentation on this week I we picked to suffer all together. We decided to watch nineteen ninety-four streetfighter <unk> fighter movie with John Claude Van Damme when more coke than anybody should while recording. I'm glad I wanted to sorry. When are we going to bring up the cocaine? Retain thing I haven't. I haven't seen this movie since I was a kid and I didn't remember it all that well. I just remembered it happened. I remember it was a movie now's about it and I went and re washed me about two sittings but I made my me and my wife suffered through. It and I got to say I kinda liked it. There was a good comedy. It's great wasn't meant the economy loved this movie. I R I love aspects of this. Movie is probably what I should say. What aspects are those shakes John Claude van Damme out and every other part of it's sloppy? It's cheesy. It's crazy love it interest in Travis I first of all let's give the audience a quick description of this movie real quick. That's true all right question. Thank you travis. <hes> what the fuck is the plot this movie here's an confusing guile and everybody from street fighter has to team up to stop Bison and that's pretty much it real bison laid beautifully by Julia. There's a story of the whole idea that dial in the military is a lot of stories. There's like three movies in this movie orange and Honda and they're all they all like team up. Stop Bison and then you have Canaan review who are just like conman on men that are there to along with Vega and then you have guile and Cami who are like doing their own thing also trying to stop aisin. Don't don't forget t hawk is also even never say never say never call them t hawk. I don't think they make references to him. Being Erica bring up the fact that he wears a headband and that's how you know it's the seahawks. They got everybody that got D._J.. With a Super Jamaican accent the only person I don't don't think they had was isn't hsien long or something. You know. That's something else I'm thinking of. Isn't it yeah yeah that's what that whole joke with their to master for Cannery you that Yeah Yeah as April fools joke isn't there talking about having the same master a lot but also a character from Dragon Ball. You know that a shot for you guys I'm curious because you got the gamers here we in the we've played a lot more combat of her playing games. We have played treat bide our so after seeing the movie I had to do some research on the character see which ones were accurate or not so now from a movie standpoint. Let's talk about characters in due to adaptation of the Games. How close or far away was that? We're not talking ACA plot or if the movie was good now. Let's just talk about doing adaptation of the Games the same realm of UH ideas. That's as close as they get. I mean I'm like start off. Immediately with guile. Guile is like you're like all American like the guy and he's played by John Claude van Damme a Belgian with accident which I found funny because because everybody else is pretty I mean there's a lot of light Asian American actors in this. There's just they've got like a very wide range of at and like nationalities and John Club and this is the American for some reason so I found really funny where where is where is sagging from <hes> in the world. How do you keep saying good? I always I always a cigar. Gods what you were hurting. Hurting Kasparov sagging is east. I yeah because the mood Thai kickboxer so I always thought it was Thailand but the U._C.'s study who is native Americans but not necessarily surly lined up with who they should be lined up at West is eight of American and then t hawk is I think he hawks actually also native American actor. Hey America I think right yeah and then you know <hes> Jay Taveras Vega Span Dude Brick Gregg rainwater replace t hawk <hes> WanNa say the guy who played Honda was a simone as well. I don't think views from Hawaii when he was a million seven. I WanNa hear why you sound like you're guises group. You dislike the most about why because Travis I we're on the same team with you buddy so I wanna hear why disliked it and how much you did. I mean other than Raw Julia. Everyone just looks like they're not taking any part of it seriously which they shouldn't. I Know No. That's why I love it but the biggest thing that the Kinda peeves me is that it's called street fighter when she just be called G._i.. Joe Oh it is travis. You're talking about this same subject rape before so talk about but what you're telling me rape before we recorded this okay so as you just said the movie's name is streetfighter from what I can remember him the movie even though I only watched a two days ago there's not one single street in the entire movie unless you count the breakout seem from the prison I believe it is a street fight as a gravel road but it takes place industry and it's the fight so that's that's also that's. Let's I'm glad you brought it up so that's a street fight but that part of the movie is also like staged like that's that was a planned thing that happens. It's so it's not even a real fight. It's not a real street and it's not a real fight. Yes that's closest. You get an actual street fight when the name of the movie is called Street fighter. They don't really fighting the streets even in the game. I mean sure there are levels but street in street fighter that didn't that didn't bother Amihai. You know what they got. I don't know why I liked this movie I was I thought it was going into all. I'm going to watch this piece of Shit. It's going to terrible and I'm like Oh. This is funny. Oh I've laugh. We don't like what's wrong with me. streetfight in the movie is not really a street. It's not just a box. It's just all also taken by Senate <unk> individual dials dead which just nice more like depressed than anything that's fair so so. Did you guys know that. Maybe you guys did or not but the actor plays General Bison. He passed away like a couple months after the movie was finished just as the evil. The critics believe Parts of movie yeah by far they have the best the best sequence of the movie of the best seen together when he's giving the speech. I think everybody either knows or should should now where she's talked about. How Bison killed her father and it's great because it's like the best part of the movie is totally shoehorned in for him? It was a Tuesday I love I forgot about it not on facebook. When I was talking about this movie someone's like and was it? A Tuesday just started laughing. I was like <unk>. I forgot about that joke. Even her lines are fantastic where she's like <hes> you shot him as your running away euro two thousand bases. It's such a good. It's a good back and for that. It's like totally totally. Doesn't it belongs in such a better movie. Yeah that's bear. This movie is just a like I mean to me like I was saying a little bit to me. It was a comedy even though it's not meant to be a comedy. I don't think it's meant to be. I think I know what you was comedy uh-huh but people watch him two years later. I feel like it's like an action comedy. It's supposed to be an action comedy but for me. There's a lot of one liners like classic classic eighties nineties one liners not another word for me some of which aren't that bad but it's just. I don't know how you deliver didn't really work the only one that actually house okay that was funny. Read the end the Mohawk guy the really dumb when D._J.'s like man. I only work for this ece evil do because I was paid so much money. He was like you got paid what he doesn't realize license evil where he's like these allied forces of trying to destroy peace and freedom. He's like Man Bison is evil. He's the one trying to start. Peace and freedom is like really it made me a frigging fortune. You got things all it takes. The tiniest bit of propaganda is all it takes as turns any good I kind of like a joke to Russian to nine hundred ninety four and has the idea that he used to communism. That's what I got out of that joke to. I don't know if that's what they meant. That's what my brain went to <unk> now. That prime makes more sense. I might have been looking into a movie that probably was not thinking that hard yet definitely not just so it is such a stupid movie but God was funny when it shouldn't have been I would argue that it's only a stupid movie in writing writing and everything else is fantastic yet for what the movie was like. There's some points you can put things out that could be improved Uber really besides right in it's not terrible like if they write in. It's kind of like the main thing in making a movie. That's actually you know good but a martial arts wise fight scenes e- add like <hes> creating the sets in the design of the character costumes like they're honestly asleep not that bad so Yvonne nudist movie was not GonNa be good now. I don't think I joined this movie at all and I will watch again was as bad as I thought it would be and besides the right idea where the plot was going into characters lines they did yeah they either overall about you know it was the the worst movie the world's story about that they actually sat down with a Capcom to try and pitch this movie and thank Capcom was like we don't understand what you WanNa do and apparently they wanted to make toys out of it too so dot com like okay. We'll figure it out so they had to write a script overnight for the next day flooding the script that was used in this movie since you mentioned toys. You opened up a door. I was hoping somebody opened up for me when they actually made a little like G._i.. Joe Size figure for this they did and I have a bunch of them and they were awesome. I love you still have in a box in my parents garage or basement somewhere found him yet but there's a block of a re review which they they pronounce that wrong because in the movie they call them Ri- You always review who I think that's a POW point of contentions but I remember I had a bunch of those figures and I I thought they were so cool as a kid growing up and I really enjoyed streetfighter too. I'm like Oh movie. You know no it doesn't she fighter chewed. I don't think you really have much of a story in the game itself. There's no that they kill it and you can tell you can definitely tell they're trying to make toys is the set design and all the outfits are so like they're so great. Their space stand out so much like all of all advice men all wear that like bright red over the dark red and and all of the Blue Cammo they all look like action figures so my question for you guys. Since you guys knew the Games bore I was able to pinpoint point some of the characters that were fighting games especially towards the end but the blonde girl that pigtails Ami is she came from the game because it's like what do you like iconic blue tank top and her like hair and the Poggioli. I'll say okay that seems like a world combat character lease probably Decatur Kager from the game and the say green like the it's our our if you can Carl Karcher. She's he's also wasn't in the original street fighter two. She's in the street fighter two new challengers but she's favorite now. She's like a big favorite people. Fire Fans thought I love the fact that they found a way to fit everybody from the game in this intrigue fighter to into this movie. I wasn't gonNA get Greenland Cool. They had a lot of stipulations. Just because you you can tell this movie was like thrown together as possible Oh yeah but to their credit they through this movie as quick as possible and they gave it to. I don't know what production company they gave it to you but they're set designers and costume designers deserve like all the phrase on the world because there's so much going on in the background out of this movie site. I noticed that I had noticed before like aren't work. was there was artwork all over this got Hokkaido which is like a very famous Japanese openings painting of the wave crashing our boat you see while Ri- You and Ken or Fighting Vegas AH got which we're cool. It is and Danza and Bisons Room. He has a painting of a clown wearing of bison hat holding a bunch of balloons which I hadn't noticed before but that's actually that's actually a reference to paintings that were made by John Wayne Gazing. You know the serial killer clown wow yeah that's that's a very specific reference Yeah I. I noticed that before the painting where have I seen that painting. Oh my God I mean the the waterfall one is also reminded me of when the levels hold in the street fighter chief to the game. When you eat Honda's level I want to say at least I always pictured Honda's level when you fight him in the arcade like that the Hukou painting shows up and everywhere? That's like a very common painting say it's probably like the most famous piece of Japanese over a lot of the visuals rules in this game. Look in this game visuals looks like they could be from the game. I mean they did a pretty good job aside from the outfits but again so fun fun fact before we get too far away from camera quick junk Claude Van Damme and and I forget the chicks naming married yeah they're both married at the time during this this movie and they they were still still getting it on on the so yeah dice which is it's even dot. Claude van Damme had somebody assigned to him during during this movie that's the thing that happened. He had I think it was the director who has signed a like a person to follow John Claude van Damme around and then the stop stop using cocaine preventive using cocaine but not only did the guy failed to get them to stop using cocaine. He actually helps him get cocaine and totally ignore the fact that he was sleeping with the worst handler in History Ledge one job. Don't let them get drugs. Okay Sir yeah Sunday Blur on the planet like you're in charge your the handler John Claude van Damme back to the legends legendary. I what is everyone's favorite seen a movie. Let's start with Mike. I is there a movie groovy. I'm kidding. No at most I did like the fight with guile and Bison in the end because that's all it came to mind at the moment when they're fighting and martial arts style or with flying I liked it when he's flying and I was just I enjoyed like most of the fighting the movie I enjoyed. I'm GonNa Stop Right there that you guys go but yeah I enjoyed most of those movies and how it makes sense all right Stephane. What about you speaking of that by sin and guile fight? There's a part where the camera follows Raul Julia flying away from it on a string and then it cuts to him like like flying till the middle of the room suddenly stopping and hanging there and that all the T._v.'s behind him just suddenly explode for no Reza. It's got the lightning power because he's a god Steph. Exactly I like is quote with a Satan something about like hi and he fell from heaven just like lightning thrown all that long for held seen as Z. fell from heaven but now that was just commenting on my <hes> Mike said but my favorite scene is with a zingy in give when the there's a truck full of explosives <unk> heading towards the tent there and there's a T._v.. It looks at the T._V.. And he looks at the truck and he says quick change the channel stupid the D._J.. D._J.'s slowly like turns around and just gives them this book like you hit store. What about about you? What's your favorite scene from the movie? Oh by far my favorite scene is the Sean Lee talking to Sarah Hulas Bison scene because it's just like they're they're both fantastic actors and I mean Raul. Julia is amazing actor. Who's just like our earlier? You said do side note here Raleigh Julia I used to do like low budget films with like for like zero money for like the minimum minimum pay checking yeah because he just like he was is genuinely nice dude at he just loved <hes> like help people out and so he would just do all these little tiny films for like up and coming directors for free or almost referee Oh wow and so I I love him. As an actor I love like his Gomez and me not win his greatness as well. It's just like them. Talking to each other is so dramatic it has so much like it has so much weight on compared to the rest of the movie yeah stand out I think especially because of all I like the funny comedy shots like dial knife and all them all the men start surrendering before he realizes that his entire forces find him okay. That was funny. I was laughing at that too. Yeah I'm GonNa Review. Stuart Pearce seen the movie because it was the one scene where they didn't catch tried to. I don't want let's see ruin it with comedy but like it was yeah it was one hundred percent serious e end how she was going to a monologue about about how he's a coward and how he destroyed their farm in how the farmers revolted and rebelled against them and drove them out and how at the end he was just like it was just a Tuesday it was just the best seed in terms of right in the movie and acted by far the best. I was lying so clearly because it's Aw for you the day M Bison Grace Your village was the most important day of your life but for me it was Tuesday like he could not give less of a shit yeah and apparently he study like wash a bunch of behind the scenes because of course I did and Julia studied a bunch of dictators to get into Garrett Different Bison. Am Bison was based off of like Mussalini putting all of this research in to deliver that one line so perfectly God that is cool though that was a great actor and deserves more credit yeah yeah it's interesting how you put so much work. Irk intuit MIMOSA movie especially to write in Dan put that much work into it delivered all of his lines like Oh yes he gave it a hundred and ten percent set yeah definitely one hundred ten percent at least now he while dying of cancer cancer while on Claude Van Damme was walking around doing a bunch of cocaine pain this entire the entire behind the scenes. This movie basically exists Jean Claude Van Damme look like a massive dick the absolutely much doing cocaine wife studying Mussalini in the corner yeah he was studying studying for like an Oscar picture or something yeah. That's kind of put into everything you did. An awesome tracks was your favorite scene in the movie all right. It's not going to lie my favorite scene. Forget their names already but the two mercy not Mersad Mersad con artists where they were found out by the kind of first villain that we'd need help the yes ago sorry so that was probably my favorite team because it Kinda starts out a bit comical they get kidnapped or like almost prison but then they get shot at with their own weapons which are <hes>. It's like slapstick like Jackie Chan movie gets into like a mild by team and they actually get serious they go into into that kind of cage fight scene which like it was almost serious but not quite to that point that of course at the very end John Claude van don comes smashing Ashington with a tank. It's like it's the biggest blue balls where they build it up so much thank him A._B._C.. Come crashing through the end of that scene moving on. I love that so much how they played it out because it was a little bit serious little bit funny very serious than just comical comical and I thought it was actually laid out perfect yeah yeah like I said. The only bad part of this movie I think is wrong Claude van Damme yeah. What do you find him? The worst part of the movie gets. I don't think the dam is a good actor and people there's there's just <unk> our source exactly yes. There's a there's a there's a Colt appreciation for John. Claude van Damme and I get it believe me I get it but like Arnold Schwarzenegger just did everything he did better while not on cocaine and it was like people like jotted <unk> there are one hundred actors like Jean Claude Van Damme that are better actors like they might not be as good fighters but they can express and I don't think John Claude van Damme can like express emotion very well especially not on coke by the way not and people. It's all of his lines eighty yard in as well. It was weird fun fact about John Claude Van Damme. Most people don't know is that when he was training to become a martial artist he actually trained under Chuck Norris Chuck Norris basically used him as a body bag. He literally got his ass beat every day. That's but never talked about him. In the Predator he was the original the Predator yes lord they has the iconic <hes> cost him that is the Predator error is defined character for many years originally. It was like a weird lobster creature basis yeah. It was a giant Lake Pink. Praying ain't Mantis in a suit before they're like yeah. That's all very intimidated. All let's get do redesign in a broad John Van Damme he was the personnel is inside the suit the whole time he never ended up in the movie and he ended up in a star sort of but originally started it off as the Predator but not actually cool prayer that we all know him love well. He dropped out specifically because he wasn't going to be seen in the movie. I'm not going to do this because my my face isn't going to be on it which that's fair for like if you're if you want to be like a serious acting like if you want your name out there that's fair but also fun to my guess. Somebody's paying you. Someone's paying you like your name on there. I was that guy but I believe it's even funnier to me that like like I. I wish she would have done it because his biggest competition back then was Arnold Schwarzenegger and so the movie would have been like ninety percent Arnold Schwarzenegger's space and ten percent unable to see Sean Claude. Van Damme States really funny. That's why they didn't do it. I know he was really upset about it or maybe he ran out of cocaine now so he's I. I don't really I when I remember a kid. I remember liking him as an actor thought his movies are cool now that adult I know I know there's like hard target and <hes> universal soldiers. They have like a lot of love behind him time cop time come up yeah and it's just like sport. I think right to sports a big one like I said I get it. I This movie you've been better or worse or the same Arnold Schwarzenegger was one hundred times about yeah. I agree with that too especially since he's supposed to be played the ultra American Belgian her to that he you know what he's I think he is more American because he was the command or commando he was in Predator like I believe on the Niger as ridiculous American trooper. I don't believe ridiculous American trooper sure and he's also governor of a state in the United States. Hey Austin let me ask you a hypothetical question or ask you and Travis <hes> would you guys have preferred word John Claude van Damme guile or Steven Seagal. ooh Oh God they're the worst though hold on hold on which aired like so this is we're talking specifically nineteen eighties ago yeah for me even back then he was so fat and Lazy Easy now like loves the Russians he was in those battleship movie things I'd say vanity still because these stories of him do cocaine and a cheat on his wife. All is not really that much better of a fighter or an actor Sir my opinion and I think at that point they were still on the same level of stardom so honestly I'll just say would be the M. Honestly I guess are you guys Pants A._M.. Was At least like a really good fighter and I know people are going to be like Oh. Stephen sagoes apply he's not he's a shit fighter. If you've ever watched any like legitimate tournament that Steven seagal still does for some reason it's all totally scripted where he's like is like I and like barely moving and guys are just flipping over ridiculously. It's all scripted crap trying to think like around this time he was doing under siege thing which I want to say is the the with Tommy Lee Jones in like they're really stupid line. That's like <hes> Oh man. There's a really dumb line and he's like L.. Q. U.. Tuesday or something the thing it's so stupid so yeah cookers right battleship or something he can't he's. It's like his attempt to do you a kind of like Air Force One style movie even though Air Force One came out later Gary season it and it's just it's just so bad. It's is Gary Busey these days. That man needs to be more movies <hes> he's yelling that blimps. I think Oh yeah that makes sense. That's anyone's in the Conan O'Brien played a a prank on them. Where Brian bought a blimp and had the blimp follow? Gary Busey Rounds Joe Theses Slowly losing thing is my watch out of his house seemed like yelling of the blood like get the fuck out find that he was losing his mind like years already lose. It was whatever marvel's the left you lose your bras. That'll actually got the meek jake usually once at a convention really Ajay in school. He seemed a little high or something but he was friendly. I mean we we got a picture with as we were talking to him about one of his movies I don't remember what now but me fantastic talking to him in this real real hot chick walks by and he stops talking to US looks at the hot chocolate hot dressed up yesterday myself. That was really cool and I'm like Oh we're talking about. It was fine because I got my picture with them. It was hilarious but it was just it just cracked me up. 'cause remember that it was really funny. He's talking to us just being like this. I mean you went back talkers just after he was done but it was just it was just hilarious. I mean I had to get to work so I was. I didn't have a lot of time to sit and Chit Chat but it was hilarious. It definitely was one of those memories. It's funny how much gave U._C._S. Bryant more known but I think she has such a better actor. I love that dynamic. That's got to be like tents family family Christmas excess Gary Connick meal like people know him more. He's he's crazy. He's out there in the Guy Yeah <hes> doing I think he's actually in stranger things and it used systems these things three. He was also in that new movie that no one wants to talk about that. We went to see you should talk about for horrible. There's one seen we had mentioned this movie that cracked me up with a comedy. There's a senior Honda and Angi for fighting gene and they turn on the T._v.. Camera Guy I never fighting on the model of where Bison wants to make a shopping mall. It looked like or something like the FEIS in the door central shopping their claim got villa south at the two are fighting and they're just looking what's going on here. I was cracking up so hard during that in the Godzilla like noise and they also play like the little sting from the theme song. That's we was just I mean anytime. Van Damme was on the screen. I'm like okay. Let's get this done and keep going and there's some reason they're being filmed. It's slow motion to and they're going through. Bill and God is just so stupid but it's hilarious and then and then their other ends right ends. Oh he runs out of time. He's like planet. I gotta go no I don't. I don't know if anybody context or says anything to them. At some point he just looks at Zan even he's like time to go and he ducks and Zinke goes to punch him and turns around around and Hondas just gone six hundred pound Honda just like pulled some Ninja Shit and disappear they gotta go the buildings up in some like temple super aware of the him ducking and literally losing. There's like we're big man. Go a couple of minutes later and then his holding up that door to let all the jokes there's Salon Dumb Shit in this movie like the all handcuffed to the bar and then everybody Gretchen okay. Let's break this hand. I mean you you. I have all these people who already proved how strong they are like. Oh I won't bring it now the movie the plot is further enough. Now we can break this and keep going. Why would you shoot these guys? Did you wouldn't handcuff him to a pole arm. It handcuffed not just one hand this one hand and this whole sequence guile is single-handedly. Well handily fighting like all of Bison Strips the handgun he runs out of ammo with a handgun. It cuts away when it cuts Machi- suddenly has an M._p.. Five cuts away again again. It comes back and he's got like an assault rifle. That's show getting these rating whereas a low level of appears above Edward. It's like high score kill streak and he pulls out an M._16. Or just never ran out of ammo as we both himmy in T hawk are like they're holding off the other half of bisons troops outside for some reason like having them from leaving the base even though that makes them like they start shooting up licensed troops and cuts away and then it cuts away for like a while like it's like I don't know in terms of the movie Brian like a couple of minutes but in terms of the actual like watching it it's twenty minute cut away cuts back and they're still there with their handguns. There's like bodies everywhere and by. How much ammo did you bring honestly? It's like magically appearing out of their ass. These shooting another part that was stricken hilarious and I and my wife went. Why the hell are they doing okay? They put they put the stealth on their boat. The boat and then they start shooting the radar towers like they can't see this will get their attention. Yeah I like. What are you doing something wrong with our radar looking ever okay zooms in on the camera? You can't see the boat you just see the water like what's happening. I wanted to ask mark guys. It doesn't take a rocket scientist figure out. There's a boat there is showing show the the bogus and they show you the bow driving. It's just like a kind it's like like friends came but even worse where you can definitely still see a boat. It's just a little weight but on camera. It's completely gone all the bullets flying out because it's just been shooting unknowns up ten minute drive to sell through is gonNA shoot towers alert the Guy Hey you can't see if you'll know we're we're here at how to shoot down the beach head which explodes for some reason actually every day explode. You just got to expect oh how modern day arts and the sand is loading with smarts like what is happening and this is all the final act which I thought when he gets when they finally get to the temple and you get through that art movie just become become so fun to watch so stupid but it's just not carrying about stories like year has some action scenes from stupidity. We'll get rid of Andrew most of this part at Foggia it turns into like a stage play a funny theater production. It is great when re you and can't get their outfits. They're they put them in the of the soldiers and they just happened that'd be wearing red and white so they put them right away. Geeze even though nobody else's wearing red and white people yeah it's like the truth. They never get like actual uniforms. My favorite is they give them the uniforms is holding their clothes confused fused like confused and turns around and just rose him a giant IM- bison trash chute at no more no more need for those. You'll never inch close again the dragon ball why why I remember we went Honda picked up zing and slammed into the ground so hard. Where did they go to sell through the floor? That was that was there. Yes it's great. I I was everyone's we talked about scenes. Now let's talk about let's not say our lease piercings though say what was the dumbest thing 'cause dumb in this is booth could be completely joyful as well but was the one that was so dumb you like okay. This is fucking gray. I love this. I Mike like what was your favorite movie. We haven't mentioned that yet but I wanted to bring it up and this gives me opportunity when doll seem the actor is in the in the in the genetic attic room with guy that they'd make Blanca. There's a scene where the guys looking at a magazine and it supposedly immortal magazine in Russian or something I think it was and I was just I was like he he's looking at magazine Gene doping sneaking over to mess with things go. He looked like it was just so stupid. That doesn't come to see but that's what I came to my mind at the moment and the guy who played Dulcie. I didn't realize this versus also an Indiana Jones Temple of doom by the way yes. That's where I I. I was trying to be insane. I was like I was like I'm GonNa look it up. This is shown south again that was cool that that made me smile to see the fact that someone from my league one of my least favorite Indiana Jones movies movies in this in this movie but this game is king he belong it works. This movie has the I'm Gonna go ahead and jump Ed because I also want to talk about. How all-seam has his origin story in his movie? That was the dumbest thing that made me laugh where all-seam gets like a bunch of comically dangerous chemicals all of them that are like giant I._v.. Bags when they say like toxic never use right atoms then eighteen virus incredibly dangerous even dumber than deceive is everybody. Let's put it in this glass container. This is like plastic big giant bags that her specifically I've never put in a human being and he gets those poured all over him and when we see him later he's like wallowed and his as close of burns all his his neck chain and it's like okay. That's your favorite Kabuki. My favorite done seen is <hes> that scene were bison so damn sherve himself that he's a win the war he gives a briefcase full of bison money and he says he says it'll be worth five times more more than the English pound. After we kidnap the Queen or whatever it's like okay hey worth anything so dumbfounded by Rahul every time he says something like did they know or is this like a legitimate reaction to his acting. My favorite movie is in General Bison and begin movie when they're like Yo. You're the bad guy he's like. No I'm the good guy where you talk about at least starts to talk about how he's a good guy and I was like okay. I can get behind this bad guy. He thinks he's a good guy. That's that's a pretty good way to Roseville and that's good and he started going to how how is trying to like save everyone but he's also take over the world connect to queen soldiers create super soldiers at that and they're just like clapping prim like to stop the allies. There's a scene that that that is probably Damascene any but I wanted to mention it cracked me up so when they have the part where they captured hostages they captured the soldiers and they're breaking the guys next and then and then Van Damme is like Charlie. We'll rescue. Excuse stay safe. Yeah just grabbed the guy's like oh you're Charlie. Let's go mutate. I'm like why the hell do you like my friend. Be Safe. We're coming for you like being the only hostage I care about don't die. You're the only one that can be used as a bargaining chip vice sing. Oh God it was so don't tell them we're located at these coordinates that when they said the radar Dr Part like the radars jammed I was just waiting for somebody to say strawberry joke in their fun fact about when <hes> Charlie's turning into Blanca because this movie is rated P._G.. Or P._G.. Thirteen which it should yeah and the and the videos went there showing knowing him in his eyes which you can actually see on the screen. They're actually showing a real live Vietnam murder footage ship all murder. All the flers are showing him is <hes>. It's it's like <hes> I think fifth element does the same thing with these pull out random stock footage. It's all like super horrific real stock footage shot and they show like like hit my favorite it's like they have Hitler talking or something and then it cuts like like the USA make him a good this guy and it's Martin Luther King Talking Yeah so my love it yes clockwork orange when they're torturing him. Look like look at all these footage except it really does fee fighter movie Stewart. What was your favorite dump seen from this movie? Oh Oh you did okay that is going to be when the two Khanlar is walked back into the ten after getting kidnapped and and everybody's putting the fucking thing then they look right and several guns and they somehow get kidnapped by both other teams everything about this movie is so stupid what it says is comedy shot all it by back a great light comedic bit where like all right. Let's do this you know what to do. They turn into like channel Ban. Why are we fighting? Kidnap again probably my favorite dumbest part but honestly that's all I can really laugh at was the stupidity of this. I couldn't laugh at the jokes jokes. I don't think I can laugh at the script a had to laugh at the cure stupidity of the movie to some of the comedy shots. I think were really well done like like that part where they walk in. I think that's a really seen Jean Claude van Damme pulling out the knife is obviously really funny. Yeah that was funny is part where they send a guy from not not that you win the A in the allied nations yeah. He's like they said that this weasley do who's plays like the Weasley dude everything he's in to be like. We've decided to negotiate with terrorists and that's like that's like his dia role and he's flying back on the helicopter talking to some prime minister. I know Mr Greenwich Sorry is no I promise you the entire military is still in the base. Just immediately hard cuts to the base and it's like one chef whoa Nineties like low budgets. I mean this this movie me o clock to throw it in there. If you will enjoy this was like a two thousand he's moving you would have there's one other stupid scene. I wanted to mention when you have ball Rog in the effort to get free and and they're beating everybody up inside the fort and he's a boxer he puts on for Khun boxy. I love doing of boxing outfit. He's got like Watson born in laws. He didn't have that on when he's captured all of a sudden like Oh. Let's get they all started getting in their outfits. They can do that final set at the end. They'll start getting except for Cami. You start getting out of hers that that's correct. That's how it should be. No reason season Camby was like like in the middle of this major battles like better. Take my shirt off. I didn't really I mean I. I didn't even know who she was. I was watching this with my wife and she's he's like that Kylie Minogue. I'm like who what also is. You're playing the song and I'm like Oh. I know this just suddenly Kylie Minogue for some reason it did not. I did not know that until until I mean I haven't seen the movie near so that was fine. Maybe she was having an affair with John. Claude van Damme beforehand and that was like one of the stipulations was we need an excuse to be away from our respective significant others together. I think R. U.. N. We anything anything last thing he has to say about this before we move onto shelf for box seats egos remember the street fighter the movie game. Oh God we haven't mentioned that yet. They actually the all the actors were contract that to like do a little cameo in the game like where they would like at the menu screen. It would show them just standing there. Doing something and I think it was grand. Bush who played ball Rog I think he came in and he was like hey where's my check for this this and they're like Walter here and they gave it to him and then he just never came back. Thanks Yeah Yeah. He's the only one in that game. I think that doesn't have a cameo like somebody had to fill in for. I was going to play it for this show but I just couldn't get myself to walk to. I played it as a kid and it's just a bad streetfighter clone of I love the name a streetfighter the <unk> the movie the Game mm-hmm based on three fighter to the game something like that really stupid. It says ridiculous like it's the lego movie the movie the the game. I think it's the name of the official leg began the lego movie the game the lego movie the movie the game. I think is the false I love it arable. Oh really confusing. Oh God this movie. Are you guys any last words. I think it's time for the rate and scale us do we you talk about how this almost got to see it. Really it all yeah how John Claude van Damme was really pushing for equal more coke you do I think he was actually I think club was like partially writing it like he really was pushing for instance even worked then or would have been better well. I say I say better is around the same so this is trying to get a bunch of people that he worked on universal soldier with to be in it including Dolph Dolph Lundgren who knows Rudolph longer would have played. I think Holly vallance like there was a bunch of people you wanted got to be in it like supposedly Orion Ken lay. We're GONNA come back and play the same people but I think just a a bunch of people in this movie. We're like we're never doing it again. Never got me and sadly when they did <hes> the two thousand Nine Street fighter movie which is is also bad and I was even worse. I think the street fighter the legend of Chun Li they were trying to get John Claude rains and to play a little cameo role in that as well but he turned down you stop doing that. Kyle was the main character in this movie right choice just because Yeah van dam. I think that's the only reason why I'm still not sure a real not he was even for that much. The movie actually Salihi also. I think there's something more I saw him. Yeah Honestly Julia Yeah Robin Williams. They're like we got Rahul yet. We're going to we're going to shoot him gone to in this movie as we can even when he dies he's GonNa come back to life times. We didn't talk about that. Dump seen when his soup rings and back that was a great hotel but it's so that was spectacular like like animates and actually cut like it's great. It's great practical effects because they just they just put like balloon inside of his outfit and we're like long it up and deflating and so so it starts giving him C._P._R.. Shocks them into rental and get like this is all while Guile is talking about how he just like he he won and it's the end of the movie and everyone's fine now and in the background constantly behind him you see a computer that's light administering C._p._R.. Administering Turtle in administering electric shock now this is embracing being brought back to life in Gyles stupidly going Yup gyles dead. I killed him. Oh boy he sure is dead. Yeah he's not coming back life. Turn around and look at them. He's so dead seventy cents up and he's like I'm on gallon all right awesome. Do you want to take away the and start the R. Rating for this episode. Oh sure so we're using you. Guys is rating. which is we're putting that shit on the shelf or put Shit in the box? Everyone kicked up box into the garage or down the staircase to the trash river or ah on the shell. The rest of the good ship off the shelf is like putting something in the box doesn't necessarily mean it's bad. This isn't necessarily the best. I project to bring this up one but putting it in the box is bad. It just means you only put something on the shelf. If it's something that you say like I I would identify myself with this product. I like for me. I Lo I bring up dragon ball every upset I would dragon ball on my show the big part of what I do drag all the show or the movie or what's Dragon Ball z then a class try see that's the a single constant in every single episode now have we wondered about Rohit Dragon Ball was episode one. Did we have bobby. He's doing insurance for that so bobby and dragon ball at the only constants for the ship yes because we forgot to do Ceefax time we've forgotten many times like many he's on not a Casa and it didn't start cope associate with Banjo yet so so we've got Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Bobby. There's this awesome I'm GonNa go first with a shelter was shelter box. I'M GONNA put this on the show and when I first started watching movie I did nothing. I'm like Oh. This is going to be bad. I'm not GonNa like this when I found myself laughing when I found myself excited to go home to watch the second half of this movie. I'm like Whoa what's happening here and I really enjoyed it like I laughed a lot at the cheesy. She's east to hit any of this movie and I didn't care it as bad as it can be. It's not a good movie but it's a humorous cheesy funny movie movie. I don't think with Matt to be much of a comedy as it is but God is hilarious like just so stupid so I definitely going on the shelf. I Stewart without you hundred percent going on myself. Love this movie. It's like I said it's Schlocky and cheesy and bad and dumb but in the best ways where they went for it they went for this story. They got like a pretty fantastic cast together with Kylie Minogue Julia and all like I mean there's like they got pretty much every street fighter character in their played by a pretty decent actor or at least an actor that was like if they weren't good that they were just going to give even the most extreme caricature which is a it's just like there's a bunch of weird bad decisions that were made like the fact that all the soldiers almost all their dialogues eighty yard in for some reason. I don't know why I don't know eight yards like when you when you you dub audio back into later Simmons like somebody like <hes> like when they like all the translated movies that come over from like all all the old Kung Fu movies when they come over they hid Dover language now's got eighty are so whatever reason all the soldiers have eighty our dialogues on Claude van Damme has dialogue at points which is really odd just like to understand him. Yeah you couldn't understand him because he was always drunk and cocaine fan so you got you got a main actor. WHO's drunk doc in high? All the time which is already makes a great movie you had Raul. Julia also makes a great movie all these wacky characters. All these wacky comedy shots that I think you're put together pretty good. Cinematography is pretty pretty decent set designers fantastic. I mean there's just a million little details in the background that make it all come together and it's all colorful and lackey and and I love it I love going to myself. What about you now? Tell everybody how bad this. I never cared for street fighter. I don't care for this movie. I loved this movie. Ah If I I think this I don't even know I can only imagine if like somebody who had no idea what streetfighter was the game just going into the theater. You're watching this movie. Just like what the Hell is going on. I have no idea what's going on and I feel like I was that person. Even though I know I knew knew what street fighter was what was going on. I don't worry is this movie and assigned to never play video games. Glenview gave the like yeah gross <hes> but yeah I'd put it in the box and put it in a van down by the river about got it because <hes> yet just bad I don't I don't ever WanNa Watch it again. I'll go watch something else. That's bad like double dragon. We'll be here yeah. That's back in compare contrast put in the box but in the two categories voice I have to put on the shelf for putting the box. I'm putting the box kicking it down the stairs on the lightly. Toss it down the stairs. There's a lot we have self box in the show but multiple times we've created new categories and it's like we're just going to lean on this l. view but we never frightened down any of the stuff like I have yet to go back and sit there and actually listened to every little Oh. It's just lost in Mike at some point. You said going to put something in the box but you'd leave the Box Open D._J.. I can't remember anymore the box open so I can still see in one day. I really should make an excel file using the trash podcast Ralian of bad okay good great or Kina on the strong okay which I thought going into his mood. This would be a bad or at the best a week. Okay Bunga actually say this was a strong okay for me like you guys. I said Yvo descriptors dom. There's law stuff in this movie. That's dumb. It's kind of fun now. Weigh in for me. The first half of this movie was very hard to get group but that a second half especially that last active movie when the goats at ample needs to fight in Yvo. It's Kinda dumb and like you said is someone who didn't know anything about videogame saw it would be like what the fuck is going on this kind of flood. It's a dumb that Kinda fun overall on say it's going the box Deng a lightly toss it down the stairs before afford eventually a bottom in for using our radar sites strong. Okay trousers talk to us about your rain using I guess both ratings <unk> starting off with putting the box or put on the shelf. I'm going to put this in the box. Kick down the stairs into they hate us more than Steph. Did I possible I still that's the most aggressive boxing I'm very sorry but as I said earlier the only poise I genuinely laugh at this movie. Who are the really really stupid parts? I couldn't laugh at what I thought was going to be funny because it just they didn't pull would offer me and even though I will admit I did like law the costume designs and some of the dialogue I guess was K- at an all around out it was terrible. I'm one of my biggest disappointments. No fucking street fights. What's this anyway? We're talking so we with <hes> Stewart we reviewed <hes> Tomb Raider two number view game move the movie that the APP teach on video game to talk to us about the similarity between the to you go into watch us going into watching this. I think what I said at the Tomb Raider one was I thought it was a really good movie but it wasn't a good video game luke or it could tomb raider movie good tumor move because mainly it didn't follow the first Tomb Raider videogame very well or another very first one but the one of the more recent ones wants so this one. I was kind of expecting the opposite I was thinking it was going to be a very good video game movie but not a very good movie and it wasn't either eh no. I purposely picked something for us all to do that was not either. I'm purpose. There are a few good ones. I made sure to pick one that is not either mason expecting kind of is expecting to be one or the other day. They're good movie or video. Jio Game will be not just bad. I wanted to send you wanted to break your heart out. I was a lot of our ratings from Tom. Bad good good great. You know I'm going to give this a bad as well to answer your other other question <hes> Stewart no the most aggressive boxing we had was when we we did fall out. I deleted the game as we were according to that game that was the most progressive weight into records deleted idea that he sends shit like the day before now. Hold onto it often. Hey that game but that's neither here org. Bring up the fact that this has a hug Adrian krone our type radio announcer in it. That's constantly talking throughout the movie the the <hes> A._G.. CHRONOMETER was the soldier that was like traumatized in good morning. Vietnam Robin Williams Mary where he like you throw the movies. It was like good morning. Show Lou I never I never thought that I mean I start here that in the end of the credits but I just turned off the movie immediately after it ended tonight again he tossed around the credits which is which is great also another little funny bid that I loved the videos win. Guile is mowing down the Bison troopers. The little radio announcement comes on and it's been going throughout the movie where it's like <hes> it's a woman over the intercom going remember employees are responsible for their own healthcare plans and it just shows all these saw or just absolutely destroy again. You are responsible for your own healthcare plan that that is Kinda funny all right. I think we should start wrapping this episode and I if you're Tunis on the trash talk the I hope he will subscribe to the Games my mom and take a listen to some other shows and Austin and and if you're on our channel you should definitely check out gains my mom found or a mess it up all right tonight alcohol these Moscow mules or do a number boys I got I got I got so if you're listening on trash out podcast. These guys have a great podcast cavs about gains week our games go check them out and if you're listening in on gives mom found we've covered games do game of the week on every episode as well as covering. Would we ever do Comex Movies T._v.. Shows and other shift so chuck us out on Itunes spotify pod being institure trashed talk podcast religiousness entre address doctors gave him one hundred. We're supposed to wear does she. Listen to this I gave my mom are insurer was brought to Bobi Aka. Mike only receive he bite the bullet the Saugus school kids squad Aw God if you're listening and and often do you guys have anything you have to give credit for your show music well. We do have a guy at I don't know his name. You know he'd be a good song later. Later in post guys say okay that will go right here and then ended there and then I'm not GonNa talk back to me saying this

Claude Van Damme John Claude Van Damme cocaine Travis Honda John Claude van Damme director Raul Julia Mike Alberton Arnold Schwarzenegger Dr Stewart Bison Toronto Film Festival United States Disney Senate Milan John
Universal Soldier (1992)

Bald Movies

43:34 min | 1 year ago

Universal Soldier (1992)

"Everybody welcome back to another ball movie this time. Jim and I are reach him. Way Back into the archives almost twenty years for one thousand nine hundred. Two's universal soldier. This is I don't think it's twenty years. Well more than twenty almost said. I meant to say almost thirty years. Yeah I almost said the right thing. An and decided not to kind of stick with the brand This is not the direct royal debut but just about for one role in Emmerick who will go on to bigger and bigger blockbuster budgets and along with his writing partner Dean Devlin This is their first team up. it's also features stars. Dolph Lundgren. It stars Jean. Claude van Damme It Stars Alley Walker We're GONNA talk about in a bit I have a soft spot for this them. Because of something mean a good buddy of mine who have referred to from time to time as Jones E. on the podcast. It was his favorite movie of all time. And we probably watched it once a week for an entire summer. Back and leg maybe ninety four and ninety five So I have lot of fond memories To me this is kind of like one of the last gasp of the eighties action movie genre. Where where you know by the end of the nineties early two thousands like things that would make more sense to be successful. Yeah I can never watching this thinking man. It must have been so easy to write movies in the nineties. Yeah early nineties late eighties because technology was fantastic and his possibility but people didn't understand its limitations so sure like super cool some soldiers. Good to go Jim What did you think of? This movie This is the first time I've seen this movie Surreally certainly all the way through parts of it seemed familiar like that fight near the end at the farmhouse Out near the Barnes seemed familiar to me. That's just because Van. Damme solves every problem kickboxing. Let's true once you get to kick boxing portion of Van Damme Film. It's your home free kind of know what you're in for and my dad was a big martial arts film. Fan and this you know doesn't isn't exactly a martial arts film but it's tough guys punching each other film. He loved those things and he was always watching him and I was not technically allowed to watch with him. Almost these things but so many times you know. He's watching him in the living room and I just walked by and hang out John Glove in Damme and Dolph longer punching each other. Maybe hang out until mom's shoes you a exactly so I've probably seen parts of this before but I've never seen the whole thing. You were talking a lot about this movie. Talked it up too much. Talked up too much and put maybe expectations that had no business being in my head into my head going into this film thinking. Okay this is GonNa be a cool movie and then I realized Oh this Roland Emmerick film Because it tells you right up front and then I got like halfway through this movie and I was like. Oh this is not a good movie is actually a bad movie but it has its moments. Say That because there are a couple of scenes in here that I really love. Yeah I I mean I think this movie is good in the same way that like commando is good and that it's just a you're in fact. I'll argue I'm going to argue right now This is a better film than commando. It just has a pretty massive step down into charisma of its star but even then like you might have to dissect that a little later. I I see we dissect it right now because I think Arnold's inherently more charismatic and certainly This this movie got a lot of gopher being a terminator two clone and you can definitely see that with lake. You know the fact that Jean Claude Van Damme is successful mostly and just pulling way back with no emotion. No expression It's not asked of him. It's requesting he hijacks like a civilian That's you know there's a lot of parallels here you got that fish. They do just like Arnold got hostile. Avista and all that stuff you got Returning their recurring motif of Jean. Jean Claude van Damme taking his clothes off a drop of a hat. Yeah but I think it's like a better movie. Structurally than commando has much better villains for the main hero to like Dolph. Lundgren is just an absolute upgrade over whatever sack of Shit Pork Sandwich? They got to play the main bad guy of commando and it makes at least as much since and like yes. There's maybe some cringed up between him and Ali Walker. But like holy. Shit the stuff to between Schwarzenegger and a Milano. The first ten minutes a commando is not good. Now it's not. It's really really bad so I I know you love commando 'cause it's just spectacle it's like it's just an excuse for Arnold to lift trees and Roman around and rip phone booths out of the ground you know. I guess. Maybe van Damme did his trademark split split kick. This would be the perfect vehicle for him. I mean there. There are a lot of round houses. A lot around eyeing around houses He's kind of one other thing is known for. Its funny because you said that. This isn't a martial arts film and I agree but like the third act is just stayed. Put down the guns. And it's just a martial arts film. I I feel like that's in Janklow idioms contract. Yeah he's got to get a flying spinning kick or he's got to get a splits in there somewhere or get sand thrown. His is sure something preferably all at the same time But so many of these scenes like lay me Jones. Beach anytime one of us. We get hurt like he always had to have. The bleeding stopped You know if you're if it's time to go swimming you gotta you gotTa do that. I have to cool down My favorite line And it's the cheesiest by far I think is when they're fighting at the end and you know it's it's about two scenes about climax Because he's just injected themselves with the Horse Sarum whatever it is now what yeah the muscle strengthener sure and off longer and says say good not denied Asshole And he grabs arm and twists it and says goodnight asshole So cheesy visit. A lot of the forced one liners the Dolph and jean-claude or doing that don't entirely work but him pushing a truck thirty miles an hour every time he strips down bare ass naked so hilarious ins over and looks through his own legs. That's of him. Saying you gotta find. Attractive is look for unusual. Something hard and they go like. Obviously she grabs his. Dick obviously gets hard. He asked if it's normal. She finds it when he bins over and looks at it through the aperture of his thighs and ball sack. It's just I I don't know man art. It's it's approaches. It approaches the Action Film Art. Then it just tickles me to death. Yeah there's some good comedic scenes I for instance. I love the scene. Where in the diner? Where he's eating all the food and he just thrashes these portfolios who come out for no good reason. Yeah Yeah I'd like I'm trying to determine like how much he knows at any given moment about his surroundings and and who he is and what he is right and I don't think he really fully understands it until it's the doctor's house. Yeah which is after that scene so you kind of think. Well he doesn't understand but he's looking at this man is if he doesn't understand the concept of eating sure did this old guy who's sitting there eating a plate of potatoes and steak or whatever or payment or yeah hit well. They're problems around that but we'll get there. Here's what's happening on. Ball Move Dot com this week. Of course our weekly coverage of Star Trek Picard and HBO'S. The new pope continues. We had a rapid podcast for our bald move annual charity drive. Be like the here thoughts on that head over to the ball movies feed and give it. Listen it's time for the fifth annual bald move. Awards is actually supposed to come out later this week. But we uncovered a ball scandal. We sent out around two of our listener choice for the bodies awards last week and we left off all the listener nominations from the first round so essentially the listener choice of the bald new choices. That's no good. We have corrected survey Baldy Bald Move Dot Com. If you would like to for the final time have a say in who takes home the coveted gold please go to Bollandbranch DOT dot com. That link is in the show. Notes will release their award. Show as well as our deliberations for it next week. This weekend bald movies were watching Jacques. Claude van Damme Dolph Lundgren in the cult. Classic SCI FI action film at nine thousand nine hundred universal soldier. Look for that out Thursday. And next week we're seeing sneakers the weird little one thousand nine. Hundred Hacker movie starring Robert Redford. Dan ackroyd Bing Kingsley. River Phoenix and Sydney Potier Universal Soldier. This week sneakers next on a bald movies feed. And I think that that is I think that's supposed to be a fun. Kind of seen like Arnold Nakedly thrashing a biker bar you know like seaney Scott seen this guy discreetly clean house but you know e- when you walk into a bar biker. Bar You have a particular kind of understanding of the moral situation of the people in there. I'll say can you know one percenter types out like supposedly the outlaws? They're they're probably bad dudes? Maybe they're running guns. Maybe the RONIN drugs but they're probably up to no good raising hell so like Arnold is beaten the fuck out of them is like you know. It's mutual combat. Let's say he's just whipping ass in a small town diner like these people ask for this or wanted this war. They're probably more or less good people. I it's very bizarre. How how long how? It's reminds me a lot of like You remember in the Jackie Lee remake of karate. Kid where they engineer scene where he's beats the Holy Hell out of twelve and thirteen year. Olds Yeah it reminds me of that like it's undeniably cool but why my rooting for the guy. Just because this goes to movies notably the protagonist there the punk. That's why PUNKS DINER. Bunch of poems beats the hell out of the chef who's been slave as he points out has been slaving away. Burger after Burger at stake for hours. Or maybe minutes. I don't know how they get all that food out so fast while she's on the phone or whatever But yeah I mean. He's been doing his job. The Guy can't pay his deadbeat and he demands and then he gets his ass kicked. I do wonder why the demand of like you're GONNA pay for it Powell like The that would that that question would have gone like before you cooked food and brought it out like when the order comes back this guy wants. How many steaks and how he wants like a hundred dollars of the food you come up and be like you're going to pay for it. His Pal too small. It's probably like five dollars a plate and that's what I'm saying like maybe like you don't cook the food bring it out and then before the guys even had a chance to really plough into question like how he's GonNa pay. I don't know the movie needed him to kick a bunch of small town as the best shot in the entire scene. Is The guy being kicked onto the pool? Table All the balls. Go in the pockets. This elaborate bank shot. It's ridiculous yeah like there's a lot of really Wocka Wocka you know it's like yeah it's funny Which I like. I said I enjoyed the mall. What the premise. Because I think that's one of the cool things like I think. This movie would have worked better in the early eighties rather than early nineties because Vietnam pretty far back in our cultural rear mirror at that point We had the wildly successful First Desert Storm. Where everybody that felt. Good about how that you know ran and sat him out of Kuwait and everybody's international heroes. I wondered why they didn't go with that like this. The premises inherently less. Silly if these were like resurrected Veterans from the first Gulf War which was just like two years in this movie's contemporary past twenty-five. Yeah like they just been. These guys have been hanging out in a meat locker since nineteen sixty nine. How like they've been dead like in the jungle body-bag days. I HAVE. I have a thousand questions. About how the tech of this stuff works but the the basic premise itself like is that not even feasible. But is that something that the military would want to do? I think yeah. Oh yeah this is like this. Is Jason Bourne only with dead soldiers Instead of Still still living volunteers. I guess By I thought it was kind of interesting. The movie doesn't do much with the concept like there's no like you're asking about the morality of this or how the men feel or what kind of consent is involved. But I thought the concept itself is intriguing and I thought the UNICYCLE. The universal soldier technology was cool. I liked her based truck Halicki Transforms Mobile Laboratory. I like the back tanks everywhere on tanks. I like the drug cocktails and the memory wipes and I like the weird pieces What are you I think that there's there might be confusion. Or maybe they didn't even decide this until after movie whether they wanted these guys to be like robots cybernetic because every time they moved or removed. And I think he's supposed to understand peace focusing okay but they kind of had that in there so it's like maybe they're robots there dead but are they really alive. Is there anything left in there now? It seems like so the doctors explanation is that the hyper accelerated their bodies which to me. Doesn't say anything about robotics. Right right right says more about like I think the thing. The reason they had those pieces is because they were being commanded. You know by the people who are watching those feeds so they needed real-time feedback. But why do you hide? One of the soldiers is like I get like. Why you would clamp the the Is it just to make him look creepy? Because like I had any like extra was like They had like targeting computers or maybe later vision. Maybe supposed to understand that. Because they're also like taking crazy sniper shots with silence pistols yet like in the hoover dam scene but but I may I could have I could inset shots of them like doing that. Like targeting computer stuff. There are a lot of insects shots you could use and they chose not to in this movie but yeah. I mean the the ideas were interesting. I sort of expect from modern movies for them to at least try to explain a little bit better how these things work in. Sydney plausible ways. But this movie doesn't even bother maybe just simply says we over clocked. These people These dead bodies and that gives them super strength super healing. Your only weakness though but it's cold like the cold heels them even other bodies are hyper over clocked and I think it's I think it's more like their bodies will burn out unless you're actively cooled okay. So like once they get overheat. They start getting confused. They start breaking down. So like you know. It's it's not necessarily the cooled. Cools them is metabolism so fast they burn up without the Of the cold definitely helps heal them. Yes because you see them. You know an ice bats and stuff skirt. He'll instantly close up. What did you think of the because I thought the first ten minutes of like a pretty effective like short war film like you know yes. It's adding an end and I love the moment where Dolph Lundgren is. He's gone crazies. Made this necklace of ears. And he says something to Jean Claude Van Damme and he says. Do you hear me any shaking the ears so lots of later on when stupid when he's got the ear necklace again he's like go ahead and tell me. I'm all ears and so yeah it's it's it's pretty fucking dumb that I don't know maybe they went with the 'cause that's other things like it would make more sense to go with like a desert storm vet but I don't know that. There's like a platoons with casualties in the First Desert Storm and also like I think Americans probably been outraged like there'd been all there's been there'd been enough apocalypse now been enough platoons that let there have been enough reporting that like people had made peace with the fact that some of our. Gi's over there. Were behaving less than gallantry like. You know there's documented these ear necklaces and stuff where it's like if you suggested that. Lag Desert Storm Vets have been earring. It up and brutalizing You know innocent. People in our in Iraq or Kuwait They wouldn't have believed that back in ninety two wouldn't have gone over well But I can play with dangerous pieces here. You know the the idea of traumatic stress On War veterans and massacres in war. Like playing with some dangerous pieces. They are years and years on from that war and I think it almost helps them to be that far away from a war. That's what I was just conceptually like this movie has got the bones of a much better movie like a little bit more budget limit better writing because it is something like the fact that like the thing that happened that their death is this trauma that there that they had they can't move past is the one thing that can't get over is a pretty interesting take on post traumatic stress like your life ends. At that moment it turns into something else And and and I don't think the movie had much of a stake in like weather. A soldier can recover from that no Because it does seem like the he got more and more of his memories back like eventually recognized his parents. There's no ark for those characters right right. Have Zero are are who they are at the end of the film in the beginning. Yeah what happens at Devereaux at the end of this? Is he still a super soldier like is he die when these stops getting the injections and medical treatments assume because he cool Vitas chills out and air conditioning? The whole time. I don't know I don't know I don't think the movie there now. How interested. How interested are you in exploring the Universal Soldier Cinematic Universe? Because there's like ten in these things now you're right. I've seen the second one which is terrible. I watched it like a in our depths of our universal soldier Phantom Elbow and it didn't start any originals. They had the same characters readers. Recast them as people you've never heard of Ood and it's just terrible. One of these movies has been removed from Canon. After the fact Oh man. I can't remember when they brought back like There's many many movies that have Dolph Lundgren and John Van Damme back in the titled Universal Wonder Lake. How do you do that? Is that post universal soldier? Because I don't know or is it like prequels has got to be prequels because thirty years older by the time they get around to making some of these trip to video. Yeah it's gotTa be prequels. I mean Dolph. Lundgren Scherzer Andrew Scott. That's wrong It's it's gotTa actor's name I think so Andrews Okay Yeah Dolph Lundgren. The actor Andrew Scott Guy Ground up in the machinery the end of this last irrevocable in the world none of is in the world doc. No so yeah you're right that's But also what is the point of prequels at these guys? They have their literally. It'd be like a Prequel of Terminator two where you go back and see the cyber dyne systems WANNA ONE SKELETON. What he was getting up before the resistance kidnapped him. I bet it's a lot of stopping around killing resistance. Members probably bet there's not much character development to be had there probably not. I KINDA WANNA go back. I kind of want to check a at least one. I might subject one of these a double hook. Yeah we might maybe situation because we can always tap out if it's too bad. I wondering about the principles in this film Way Back when we did a of podcast where we attempt to rank all the bad asses and cinematic history and lag vandamme and a Lundgren. Were always like you know we had like tier one bad asses. You Got Light Sorts nigger. He got stallone. You've got like these tier two where you've got You know guys who convincingly play like really tough roles even though they don't particularly look it like Clint Eastwood Bruce Bruce Willis. And then you've got the tier that the the tier see bad asses like Jean Claude and Dolph that that have the tools. But maybe there's some accident problems. Maybe they never got the right script. How does this movie does he do anything? Like for you for version Claude. Or I don't think so. I've seen Jacques. Claude van Damme be more charismatic than this film. Obviously what in what movie In basically every other movies in like this Terminator Right. You're right. You're not supposed to be any of those thing right John. Claude van Damme can turn it on in the charisma department. Let's try I think he he every once in a while in this movie he'll like have goofy look or flash a smile or something. That makes you think okay. Maybe there's more to this actor but like I've seen him in even things like blood sport and kickboxer and those older things He's he's got. The Charisma Dolph Lundgren. I'm not sure I've ever seen any real charisma from him but I think he's a decent actor Like even this movie. I thought he did a really good job. I was surprised how you know. American accent was good like they don't give him a lot to do but like you know that They undercut everything. He does like what he starts up. This like you know kiss ass or kick ass speech which I thought was pretty interesting and kind of terrifying from the perspective of like people in that supermarket but they undercut about having this giant man does Chow Chow down roster behind him the whole time like this. This guy's trying to win an Oscar. And you gotTa do just cave manning up the stake in the background it's hilarious. It's it's ridiculous. It is and with better material with a character that has an arc for instance Huby might have had a better performance out of hand but I think he's pretty good Alley Walker. I like in this film a lot. I think she's a really interesting. Kathleen Turner type. You know like this the Sturdy Gal. That's got this kind of like Husky voice and just thirty unflappable. Yeah I was getting like a fuck. We just saw movie with her. She's the woman from Terminator. Oh Lynn Hamilton Hamilton. The Hamilton by I didn't that bad ass but No not that bad ass. She's like the the something about the style especially the first terminator movie. Yeah who she's like far less bad ass I don't know she seemed like just a straight up upgrade to. Who's the the Indiana Jones woman from the Typical Marion? No no not that good front temple. Doom I don't know yeah like Ricky or whatever name is like she's better version that and I was surprised she got some she was I think sleepless in Seattle. She had a couple of pretty. I pretty big guest starring roles She's done a lot of TV work. But like I don't know she never really this. This is kind of like the near the peak of her career. That's unfortunate But Yeah I WANNA TALK. Some other highlights. I really enjoy like the opening hostage situation after. Get done with the ten minute short film about Vietnam I thought them running rappelling down. The dam was cool. And I'd never seen anything like that before Very cool and it's also like I think this movie made ten years later You'd actually have the military get involved and they would. Actually you know because this is that weird stage where it's like they just Kinda put together. Uniforms from different eras and they can't get like blackhawks so they're like getting like shitty hueys and stuff But I thought that like the military hardware they had the helicopters and stuff. These guys repelling was really cool. House allowed the fact that these universal soldiers come in and like murder everyone on opposition and everyone's crow and about there is no casualties and no injuries. Except for the twelve guys whose brains we blew out all over the damn the bad guys that they don't count they don't count it. It's still a casualty. Though right. It is yeah and I mean it's clearly a cover up right like one of their own unisource gates killed sort of Thank and he's right as rain later. I guess they might not Catherine's casualty. Yeah But I thought that was a pretty good and Pretty good action seen some exciting stuff. I'd never seen before I thought that the the UNICYCLES kind of attacking the hotel or the motel was good. They had the hiding in the water beds. Em ridiculous just the best way. I love like when Sarge finally snaps and goes off the reservation like these guys are wearing. These big has matt suits with like kind of like hard inflexible helmet shells and he punches through the guys. The guy's face screen grabs me by his face and it's got a jerk. Set aside barely breaks neck. Yeah just by grabbing from the face. Superhuman strength can't can't spin ahead by more than ten degrees men's enough that severs is neuro cord a fucking loved that I love okay. So Serge's stomping around with this necklace made of yours and third access movie and he goes up to this one a bar. I forget what exactly the situation where all these kind of like You Know Ne'er do. Wells are crowding around him and like poking fun at him. And the littlest guy. Yeah the bucket. The bucket route says Nice Necklace. Man You got one who mocks. The Mand looks like that that has a dripping bloody necklace of near nears in my ears. Why would you pick a fight with a guy? He was twice as large as you and has a necklace of blood human ears. Yeah Yeah I one hundred percent failure on that that saying anything just kicks back and like rapidly kicks three of these guys in the face except for the Little Guy who he spares. Yeah he was too low right where they can only kick very high yes the kick like a his shoulder hyder above under six foot tall. You're actually say you're safe but like yeah this guy But you know again. I think it's bad. That's why I think it's better than commando because that that Bucker Rue guy would have been like the be the number two Villanova commando right. He would have been the guy who aren't will gets the to hold one leg it over the cliff allied also like garth. Has there ever in the history of mankind been? Has there ever been a black man with the name of Garth because I'm not privy to all all black people's names but I'm gonNA guess it's not common point point one percent a population this guy's on the universal soldier team and the head of the head of the head scientist or whatever they get this idea that like they got Dolph Lundgren? He's running out of his Co. juice so to get into recline in his cold couch. I La this is the time we're going to go in there. We're GONNA hit him with the needle and Garth Steps in front of the old old white says. Wait a second. Let me take this. It'll it'll be. What did you say? They'll be like more believable. Yeah why something about his role within. Look better if I go. Why would it look better if you go? I don't know why can't they control these things remotely like? Yeah why talking to order these people to inject themselves. What if one of them's is freaking the faulk out? So he's like you know. Let let me take this one somehow. This'll doll of course Sar- SARGE SERGEANT ANDY SEIZES COMING. A mile away grabs the guy holding down on the couch. Hits the Button. This needle goes through the guy's skull thirty pops out six inches out of his cheek. I actually think there was something wrong with the needles on his couch and it really were. Yeah but And then the old guy finally he tries to redeem himself by like in you know by having everybody lap sacrifice himself for him. Yeah Okay I don't understand this like he has this unit. Saw hold this grenade for thirty seconds and and let go of it after that. Yup and he gets his hand gets his hand. Stuck in the grip of the unit saw gets his hand stuck. And I think there's a way you could sell that there is but they didn't choose that option here at the like the everything was just fine on the first take like classes. I Wa- how he's only got my pinky. It's fine it's fine. It's it's a really strong. He's got your pinky like yeah. It's really weird and also or can you not put your hand on the grenades so that when he lets go you'll still be holding the Thesselonians. You say you're making orders anyway. Can't you say like Oh guy changed his mind. He wants to Not Let go. They're gonNA aid and slow. I don't know there's gotta be some way to get your out. Get yourself out of the situation. The other thing they give them thirty seconds so it's not an exciting countdown and then they cut away and they cut back and guys. It's kind of like looking there. Awkwardly like as a guys counting down five four. There's no real attention because the guys like almost embarrassed like I got myself into situation. This giant man's got me enmeshed in his grip. I'm just gonNA divert grenade yeah. It was really weird. I put this against like The the the cyber dyne researcher that dies in sermon where he's got like he's heavy breathing and you know there's there's there's a moment to that and this guy. He gets his pinky caught. Universal soldier finger trap and he's going to die because of it now. There are a lot of moments like that in this film. I think like it's clear that this is one of rolodex early directorial attempts because he gets so much better even in in four years. He's only got I think. He's longing to direct two more films after this orbits independence to independence. Yeah so he just stargate after this and the Independence Day after that. So let's stargate. He goes from Joe. Right from this. This stargate yeah whole directing because you can see lots of that like the Universal Soldier van. How intricate and you're like transforms. How cool like you can see in like There's a scene where he goes away overboard. Blow it up as gas station but you can see him putting together this tool set. That's going to serve him very well eventually. I can't believe I thought there might be something in between this and stargate. No I'm looking tractor credits. And it's just like he does big movie after big movie after this. It's universal soldier and Ninety Two stargate ninety four Independence Day ninety-six Godzilla Ninety eight the Patriot two thousand day after tomorrow. Two thousand four it starts to get shakier around Godzilla. Time like ULIASSI's damn in four years. He's going to Independence Day. Which I think is a great an amazingly directed film. You can say what you want about the writing and like well even though there's lots but like yeah. Those films are really well directed. This one is really shaky he got you. Lock it future words so I looked up this. This was attached to some other director who bowed out and he came into like the last minute the shoot and it was critically panned that you read. Ebert Review. I did yes He he didn't like John Club in dam or Lundgren. He only really liked alley walker right but he he hated that movie this thing critically panned but it made like four times. Its budget in. May It's such a fluke that like we would not have a role in Emmerich with the career he had. If this movie didn't fluke. Louis just just overperform all expectations. I wonder why it did was on the back of John. Claude van Damme bigger that I wanted to. He was biggish. I wanted to look and see what it's competition was. I didn't have time to see like when it came out in the calendar year I just remember that like it had a very cool looking box. Had John Jean Claude Van Damme Anna. Why I wanted to rearrange. His name's had J. C. D. and Dolph Lundgren like staring at you with their cool. Cyber soldier. Shit just universal soldier in the back of the box had an explosion and a good looking woman on it like it it. It was good writ Bates in but but it also just made money. Bank made box office made bank at the box office. Yeah I really did and so I wonder if it just came out right time. People were maybe clamoring for good action film. Because those things starting to you know started to die off and I was looking through our list of films from ninety two and there's like a lot of sequels to once great action films like lethal weapon. Three was this year alien. Three was this year. You had stuff like under siege which Steven seagal vehicle right there Speaking of Tier Three. He's not doing any flying spin kicks. No he's doing single finger flips is what he's doing right. Yeah and Universe soldier which I guess did pretty well so the top twenty box office original. It's it's gotTa is sci-fi concept at San sets it apart I Yeah I had a poster And your people Dolph Lundgren was a name like he had you know done Still like it's your life seven years from rocky for every like rocky for. He's a master of the universe like lots of kids liked him in like. I remember my cousins crazy about master universe. He was in This low-budget punisher like one of Marvel's first forays into cinema He's in a low budget punisher vehicle and then he got this alike. These guys had a little bit of name recognition. But Yeah if if this movie comes out and and makes twenty thirty million like I probably should have versus a toy. Then you don't get you. Don't get Independence Day. Probably you don't get Godzilla what we'd be living in the day after tomorrow. I'll probably were swirl I love Independence Day. Oh of course. Of course there are some problems with this movie. I won't talk about him. Let's let's talk about it okay. There's there's a really big one. It's just so fucking obvious. I can't believe like the studio didn't come back with a note or somebody didn't come back with no. I don't think there's any notes movie. There must not have been because like okay so I think it's real dumb how they try and explain the technology here because they don't explain the technology they just say. We made their cells run. Faster overclock their theirselves whatever. But there's a scene that the diner scene right. The whole crux of that scene. Is this man. This is a man who's ordered a bunch of food and doesn't have the money to pay so then they get out of that situation. They go to the doctor's house the very next seen after. That is him buying her a bus ticket with what money every person his ass. He kicked he robbed. You'll their wallets. Yeah he he he he just slide of handed their wallet out as these roundhouse kick in the through with. This is what I mean when I say maybe she'd be that'd be explained the value of money he's like this guy came up and threatened me talked about paying paying money. They needed insert shots right. They needed like this Bureau of him swiping wallets from people these kicking or something To just explain how the hell he could buy her a bus ticket because it makes zero sense. I I agree. And it's it's so fucking obvious. Yeah well I'm actually somewhat surprised. They didn't try to. They didn't try to push like a romantic angle too. Yeah Yeah I got to the movie I was like. Oh these are just like people helping each other. They're not they're not trying to be. This is not time would amaze it wouldn't make any fucking sense from but I'm kind of glad Vicki. And she's like Bang into dead guy out and he's also doesn't have as it's kind of like I could see like maybe start a romance. And that's kind of like the closest analogy. This movie is probably the born entity right like a super soldier who's had his backer has had his memories erased. Okay he doesn't know who he is and You know meets girl. And there's some chemistry there but lag. None of them really act on it. Because why the hell would you in the situation But I thought that was unusual amount of restraint for like ninety two Roland Emmerich and Jean Claude. Van Damme for that matter. Because you know he likes to. He likes his action hero Romances. I think yeah hats off to Dean Devlin for not trying to shoehorn that in here. Yeah Yeah maybe they did and they disliked. Y what you know guys dead. What point is it sexy when you're digging metal out of his thigh and he's he's he's doing the doing the upside down peek through the thigh thing? None of this. None of this is sexy What else are we going to talk about my favorite moment? Is I have a problem. Okay Yeah About How van? Damme solves every problem with kickboxing you. Arnold got his his his pain face his his pain like. Oh Van Damme is gotta go to pain face where his eiser half loaded? His mouth is open completely slack in his shakes his head back and forth in slow motion. That's that's it. You look at a look at his movies and look at how often especially if the sweat and blood is porn even better but he just I remember when he gets the whatever the powder the sand whatever he puts on a clerk. Oh yeah he shakes around for thirty seconds. Yeah he ocean. That's the and that's the only emotion he's allowed to show except for like kind of Ryan Inappropriate Smile. Because that doesn't she like crack some kind of lag? What did you get yourself into at the end of his rampage through the diner? And he just Kinda smirks. Oh come needs is popcorn. Where did that fucking come from? I don't know yet another problem. No no I was GONNA say my my favorite thing. I wanted to end on a positive note. Saved MY FAVORITE SCENE. A The fight in the barn And Him getting off longer getting ground up in the machinery. I I kept thinking man. They're not going to do it. They're not going to do like the buttons right. There hit the button grind them up And and I mean there's so many moments like that right where you think all the bad guys dead when the truck goes off the cliff and the erupts into a fireball. I don't know how the fuck you survived. That he's in the middle of the desert. It's not getting cold anytime soon. Whatever he comes back later just days xs way out of that problem and then yeah the barn seen. I'm thinking man. They're not GONNA do it. He's dying he's on. These gears are the machinery and then he comes back again and finally grinds them up. It's almost like it's too gruesome for the movie because the movie squeamish about showing the show they cut back to Private Devereaux and he's like. Oh you know. I thought that was. That was pretty funny. Where do they come up? The idea of the big syringes full of the White Google. Because that's what were those ages doll. They were just muscle enhancer. I don't know I mean. They showed they. They showed that these guys were headaches. Maybe it's the thing that exonerates him but had no point in the movie to ever inject these guys that anything like that They never like. There's some universal soul like they have a memory wiping syrup and whatever they did messing with them genetically to make their metabolism faster but it was a confusing thing they had multiple. Arum said they would and I wasn't sure which one was which any given time. Yeah I guess. The ones in the chairs. The Green Degree Nets rewiring ceremony that removes the memory and I dunno keeps them calm and controlled but like the white stuff just makes them stronger. Faster whatever And if it takes effect immediately to I suppose else takes effect immediately the credits in this movie as soon as the action is done. Get the fuck out. Song Body Count Body counts. Do you know that that is So that was a collaborate like ice tea in the early nineties collaborated with his metal band like they did all the the music writing and he did all the vocals but I guess the Body Body Count. Yes starts immediately. I'd like to what day. May this movie doesn't know what the fuck it is? Now it's like What she said it's like how do you feel like a fifty year old man smash cut Bodycam Movies This knows what it's there to do. And as soon as ever. It's done doing it at once you out of the theater because it needs to get. They need to clean up the popcorn aisles and get another another hundred butts in those seats. Five minutes later. Yeah so yeah. No post credit sequence. Get Fuck out at the year Or play bad crash metal out of this movie and get into stargate. We'll go to play bad thrash metal rap gets you to get the hell out of this. Theater Body Count What else you got nothing right. That's it for me. Thanks for indulging me an universal draft fond memories of it and successfully fucking hates US movie but I was laughing the entire because I enjoyed it. Yeah I mean like I said I Because you had came in and seeing the day before I did. And you're like this is a terrible movie. Right on my. Oh Shit. I thought this movie was good in the way the commandos good the way that like running man's enjoyable. I wouldn't call it a good movie. No no and I don't know how many times I need to watch it the rest of my life but I'm glad it's. It's been easy twenty years since I'd seen it like I kind of wore out that summer It's been twenty. Maybe even twenty five years since I've seen this movie last and the stuff to holds up holds up and the stuff that didn't didn't but yeah one thousand nine hundred universal soldier. We'll be back next week with another movie. Which is something from way back and our and our youth nineteen ninety two sneakers. This is one I do remember being good. I hope it holds up. It's it's a movie about hackers the head hackers Robert Redford and it's got Dan ackroyd Really River Phoenix Dan. Rae Scares Yeah. Yeah I don't like Dan Ackroyd so I don't like Dan ackroyd. That'd be awesome ruined. Then I'd say he's a conspiracy nut. He's essentially played himself in his movie. Is it going to be good? It's going to be bad. I don't know we'll find out Join US next week when we look at that until then I Mehran I'm Jim.

Dolph Lundgren Jean Claude Van Damme Arnold John Jean Claude Van Damme Ann Claude van Damme Dolph Lundgre Jones E. Dean Devlin Jean Claude Robert Redford Alley Walker Andrew Scott boxing Jacques Avista Vietnam Van Kuwait Lundgren Scherzer Damme
Pop Culture Affidavit Episode 124: Futuristic Van Damme-age

Pop Culture Affidavit

1:12:16 hr | 4 d ago

Pop Culture Affidavit Episode 124: Futuristic Van Damme-age

"Pop culture affidavit of one twenty four futuristic van damage Hello and welcome to episode one hundred and twenty four of pop culture affidavit. Hawkins takes a look at everything random in the world of popular culture which is brought to you by the to church freaks. Internet radio network. I'm your host. Tom tanneries so last time around. I hung out in the late eighties and early nineties looking at one of my passions at the time which was baseball trading cards. This time i'm sticking with that particular era by looking at another thing that i was really into the low budget action films genre. There were a ton of these movies. produced for. both feeder nvidia released. During the time. I was in late elementary in junior high school and i think that one point or another my friends and i bought tickets for or rented every single one of them and for this episode. I'm going to be looking at one of them. And that is one thousand. Nine hundred nine's cyborg. A- post-apocalyptic sci fi action flick directed by albert. Pune and starring. Sean claude van damme taking a look at the film's background. It's plot and then i'll give it my review and it'll be doing it after this break so stick around and come back for cyborg. Hey you yeah you listening to this. My name is mercy. Saint clair and. I'm a trucker not very glamorous job but not according to some group called. The academic gone theater works and me. I think your adventures can be very glamorous. Oh come off molly. What i do is dirty dangerous and frustrating. Maybe but i know like hearing about what you do and now other people can't as well. That's where you come in. yes you the one. I started talking to before being interrupted head on over two eight t w dot ninja and look for my adventures as dramatized by the academic gone gone theater works. And some guy. Named ron randell or else ron rentals trigger. A new audio drama by the academic ghana gone theater works presented through the to true freaks. Podcast network coming summer. Twenty twenty one to the not too distant future. God gang is reshaping the world teaching of hell and only one man can stop them john. Claude van is leading the battle between good and evil. Never been four. He's just britain bishop to rescue a cyborg who holds the secret for saving the world. Why didn't you help. you don't want to die. From the slow destruction rises warrior of a new age. Five friend down as the first hero of the twenty. Th century cyborg cyborg. I said before. The break was directed by albert. Pune and star. Jean claude van damme. Who at that point had begun to make a name for himself because of the success of the mixed martial arts movie blood sport the movie as a bit of an interesting history as it holds. The distinction of being the final film released the actress by ken films. The fabled independent studio run by an outcome glow golden and europe globus. There's a lot of the following detailed in the excellent documentary electric bogalusa the story of cannon films basically by the time this was released in nineteen thousand nine cannon had gone bankrupt and the film was actually put into production in the hopes of making back some of the money. They had lost their attempted. Big blockbuster movies that bombed in one thousand nine hundred eighty seven mainly masters of the universe and superman four the quest for peace in fact cyborg was made from the remains of two features that canon green lit before their money ran out a live action spiderman film and a sequel to masters of the universe and because of the latter film this film seibert would actually sometimes be listed as to you in tv guide as masters of the universe to the cyborg it is not a sequel. The dolphin grin cult classic. But some people did think that because of the way that was labeled anyway peon was set to direct both of these abandoned projects When kennedy declared bankruptcy they had to give up the licensing rights that they had paid to both marvel and mattel So that they could maybe recoup some of their loss and in fact according to the wikipedia page he was actually going to fill both masters universe to add spiderman simultaneously but he wound up writing this when. Ken was like yeah. We're not doing that. And originally he had chuck norris in mind to star as gibson rickenbacker. Who is the name of the main character. But it was menachem. Golan who cast van damme. The film was shot for the very low cost of five hundred thousand dollars. It was shot entirely in wilmington north carolina. Over the course of twenty three days with some sets made to look like a destroyed new york city as well as the destroyed atlanta. That five hundred thousand dollars by the way was on top of the two million that cannon had already lost because of the props sets and costumes that had been created for those abandoned masters of the universe to and spider man productions cyborg would grow onto gross ten point one million dollars. It was released in august of nineteen thousand nine. This made it the eighty eighth highest grossing film of nineteen eighty nine making about a million dollars bless than police academy six but out grossing Meryl streep roseanne barr comedy. She-devil the number one movie in one thousand nine of course as batman with two hundred fifty one million dollars in domestic gross. This movie it got destroyed by critics especially roger ebert who put it on. His worst of the year list gave it one star noted that it was kind of unintentionally. Funny saying few genres amused me. More than post-apocalyptic fantasies about superman fighting for survival. Cyborg is one of the funniest examples of this category. Which crosses escape from new york with the road warrior but cheats on the budget now to add to what ebert said vandamme actually has said that he didn't like the film so much He was given three different movies By canon because those were in the pipeline already done forced to american injured three and this knee chose this this this much. He actually ended up being sued by somebody over this jackson. Rock pinkney who is one of the Villain pirate goons in the film lost an eye during filming when van damme accidentally struck with prop knife. Pinkney won his lawsuit wanted judgment of four hundred and fifty thousand dollars and i should note that before start. The plot that van damme himself despite not liking the movie was actually ultimately responsible for its final presentation. There's a director's cut. That was longer than an hour the hour to have run time. That is on the copy. That i have but this director's cut tested horribly Van damme then went to golan globus and he convinced the studio to give him the film to re-cut and apparently he'd done this with blood sport as well and had been successful. so that's what he did He made sure that there was a lot more. Focus on the action. And this is the film that we have a director's cut did surface in two thousand eleven or so as and had discovered lost footage for the film it had reassembled his film under its original working title slinger. He apparently had been giving it out on. A print on demand basis through his website actually has been had been working on a prequel called cyborg rise of the slingers but that film never came to fruition pune was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in two thousand thirteen while he is done at least one project since. The diagnosis of dementia has interfered with his being able to work cyber does have choo sequels There is nineteen ninety-three cyborg. Two and nineteen ninety-five cyborg. Free the recycler The latter was directed video. Flick starring malcolm mcdowell and head of the classes christine hodge The former is notable for the fact that angelina jolie was the female lead alongside alaska. Catas- i think that was released theaters. But i'm not entirely sure. I haven't seen either of those nor have i seen pune zone spin off sequel from nineteen ninety-three called nights which also has a female lead so my my focus and my and my attention really is on. Just this one film sean. Claude van damme. So let's go ahead and get into the plot. The plot is as follows. It's the twenty first century and civilization lies in ruins it's a plague known as the living death has overrun humanity. There's a team of scientists in atlanta at the site of the former. Cdc and this is a place for some of the main remaining vestiges of civilization exist. That team has come close to developing a cure for the plague but needs data. That is only on computers at a lab in new york. Since communications between the cities has been completely shut down. Someone has to physically go to new york to retrieve the data they sent a cyborg named pearl profit who is played by dayle haddon. She is a model actress. Who appeared on the cover of the nineteen seventy-three sports illustrated swimsuit issue by the way and she is accompanied by marshall's strat. Who's played by alex. Daniels they make it to new york and pro gets the data. This is all of this by the way told. In flashback at some point in the film as the film actually opens with pearl. Marshall beginning the journey back to atlanta from new york marshall is killed by a gang of pirates are led by fender tremolo. Who is played by vincent. Klein pro gets away with the help of gibson rickenbacker. And that's our star john. Claude van damme. And if you're kind of giving side eye to some of these character names yes. They are all named after various musical instrument companies fender rickenbacker gibson. Marshall pearl so somebody was having fun with character names when they when they wrote. This gibson is what's called a slinger. These are people who live in the hollowed out. Cities of this world may hire themselves out to get people out of the cities into safety over. The course of the movie gibson has flashbacks and has recurring dreams. To what is the greatest pain of his life at one point as a slayer he'd rescued three people of and i believe it's a mother in two kids after the father had died and he brought them to safety out in the countryside after staying with them for wire while he and the mother mary they become lovers You know sh. He's very good with kids as she knows etc etc however fender and his pirate crew found the house. They tied mary gibson and the the the sun up with barbed wire on the hung hanging. You know well. They put the barbed wire in the hand of little girl. The families whose name is hayley now They're like basically saying okay. Hold onto this. And they'll be okay and being little she was probably like i wanna see. She was like seven or eight years old. She can't like you know you see an image of the barbed wire cutting through her hands and her screaming in the three of them falling into their presumed deaths in the well Mary and the and the boy die. Gibson does not need climbs out of the well and this is his motivation through the movie because he wants revenge on fender pearl is going to have gibson a company to her atlanta because she analyzes him and realizes that she can trust him before. That rescue in that journey can begin. Fenders gang gets the jump on them. Gibson's knocked out and fender kidnaps pearl after he discovers. Why she's in new york as well as the knowledge she's carrying. He understands how important that is and decides to take her to atlanta now because he wants to cure world be better but because he thinks that if he's got the cure he can control something he can gain power by having it because it's what people want he essentially basically says i can become a god in that classic villain way gibson by the way. is rescued or woken up. Girl named naty whose family has been killed by the plague knowing that he is after fender pro might have information that will help with a cure for the plague. Needy wants to go with him because she wants to make sure the place cure reaches atlanta the two of them decide to track down south while fender and his gang commandeer a ship they eventually catch up with one another near charleston. South carolina in hollowed out warehouse type of building gibson kills a number of fenders pirate crew. But he's eventually overtaken in discovering that discovers that not only is hailey the little girl from his past still alive but she's one offenders pirates impossibly his lover haley by the way at this point in the present day of the movie is easily. Let's say for the sake of things she's eighteen so there's a good decade. At least between the flashback and now butts it is probably a very Disgusting sort of death stroke. Tara markov situation but fender bender being good villain vendor is not a villain. You're rooting for offenders. The type ability wants to die even though he's a cool looking villain so this just makes him even worse so gibson gets away at that point um and he's about to say pearl with him but pearl says that she's not going to go with him. She says it actually is an advantage of going to atlanta with fender fenders stronger than gibson. She doesn't even gibson's gonna make it. And she knows that the people she's going to in atlanta have the capability to take out vendors gang that remains to be seen but she heads with vendors gang to atlanta while gibson picks up the unconscious navy. Who'd been knocked out in the in the fight and runs away from the gang with a couple of those guys in pursuit follows. That is a long chase scene in a fight in the sewers beneath the building and then on a big fight of beach and marsh land were gibson and needy kill a number of vendors other pirates but gibson is eventually taken down in crucified by fender on the mass of a dead ship. It's here were haley. Gets a good look at him for the first time in realizes who he is but she has to follow fender gibson experiences. The same exact flashback like they just copy and paste the scene into this flashbacks so we get stuff we've already seen while he's hanging there and And then also a little bit more the you know how he got out of the you know a little bit more of of the execution and how he got off the well this this gives him gets angry and he starts kicking it. The ships mask until the rotten wood breaks and he lands on the beach. However he's on his back and he can't get himself free of his restraints because they have shot arrows through his palms native who prior to gibson's crucifixion. Had been knocked unconscious way off in the marsh finally finds him and comes to his rescue. They clean up and they had to atlanta on the outskirts of the city gives it a needy confront vendors crew. All the pirates are killed and then gibson and fender face off. The fight is long while gives knockdown needy tries to kill fender but he kills her instead at one point gives it a hollowed out card. Fender slamming his head with the door. Haley yeltsin the stop which causes fender to put two in two together and realizes who gibson is he then attempts to kiss haley. The sort of like. Hey this is. The girl like rubbed infant in gibson's face but haley refuses him buying gibson enough time to get up. He eventually stabs fender chest killing him. He confirms that navy is dead and has a tearful reunion with haley but fender is not dead. Come on you seen these new. He wouldn't be and the fight begins a new. They eventually wind up in a shed and gibson eventually kills fender by impaling him on a meat hook successful gibson haley take parole to the scientists in atlanta pro suggests that gibson stay with them but he insists that the outside world needs him and he and hayley walk away. We close with pearl saying that. Maybe men like gibson. Are they real. Cure that humanity needs now. My personal story with this movie is that it's one of a good dozen. I watched in regular rotation when i was in junior high school. I did not see it in the theater. And i didn't discover it until my dad found that on the shelf of sables video empire and then rented it he'd later take me to seek kickboxer. That was my first in theory. Van damme film And my dad. My dad my friend. Tom and i really would go to a number of these movies with him when we were in junior high school Few the seagal movies a couple of movies. And tom and i would rent like all these things all the time. So we rented cyber at least a few times and it wasn't high my favorite van damme films that were at least that were made. During that like early nineties heyday. He had i would rent. It was hard to find for purchase until sometime a ninety six ninety seven. I was in college when mgm home video. Released it for purchases one of their like movie night collection Vhs tapes and that basically means that like you know they would do this. They would package movies. That were kind of like second rate like this into an put a little label on it they would be the discount flicks that you would find for. Maybe five ninety nine or nine ninety nine at suncoast or saturday matinee in the mall in the late nineties so i eventually did get my copy of this in the late nineties after already owning blood sport. Double impact and lionheart Never had kickboxer and never had time cop. I think i had hard target as well if if i'm remembering these things correctly Only a few of them have Survived either my parents house or my house etcetera etcetera but anyway into my thoughts on the movie. It's look. I'm not gonna pretend this is a good movie. Impugns clearly doing a of mad the terminator escape from new york at a number of other sifi action flicks of the day. In fact the plot is very paint-by-numbers. It's one that really only exists is something to slow the film down between fight scenes right so it's not upper tier by any stretch of the imagination again. Neither was van damme. At least at this point the nineteen eighties action genre is defined by the megastars that had established and who would have huge box office hits and bombs in the late eighties early nineties. Arnie and sly top tier bruce willis probably as well because a die hard because he was their partner in the planet. Hollywood franchise shit. That's an episode. I can do a theme restaurants anyway. I mean nine. Hundred eighty nine willis was on the rise. He was just getting huge. Because i believed i heard was eighty eight so die hard to be coming out soon. Hudson hawk and then you get the last boy scout You know and he was A-list celebrities because of his marriage didn't demi moore and stuff like that but when you go to the level of the action start from the eighties and nineties. You have chuck norris steven seagal john club. Damn by nineteen ninety nine chuck. Norris had peaked. He was really on. Its way down. Braddock missing in action three was a bit of a dud guys. It's really a good movie delta force to which came out. I think a little later than this didn't really do much and while. I'm sure that there were a number of my late feller gen xers in early in the early millennials. Who have a fun. Nece for sidekicks with jonathan brandis. I don't think that movie did particularly well either. I think it's safe to say that. Walker texas ranger which started in nineteen ninety-three really was kind of the reinvention of chuck. Norris an enslaved his career from you know b. movie obscurity or see movie obscurity. So then you're left with seagal and vandamme seagal well. He and van damme were neck and neck through most of the early ninety s. But as much as i like under siege seagal being a massive asshole shines through in every single piece of scenery. He chews up shits out in his films now. Van damme has his ego. He's had his personal professional issues. But out of those three b. level action stars. He really was the one that had the most appeal to american audiences. He's very good looking. He's got a sexy accent. He could do movie martial arts very well especially martial arts poses. Yeah i know he was a professional kickboxer at one point. But i can't tell you if he's any good. I mean i know he has a good record but you know i'm i'm not. I'm not an expert on martial arts. So i don't even know if his skills on screen were realistic. But i do know that it all looked cool. You know he could do that. Split to a really high kick. You do that super kick thing where twirled around and kicked. His opponent is a finishing move. In fact he uses that as a finishing move into in some of his movies that it makes some great shots. And yeah. I used to try to imitate the moves. No i never succeeded. Yes i probably look doubles doing it. Anyway van damme slides into that vacancy. That norris left which is appropriate considering pune wanted norse for this film. Any carries it really. Well now what helps is that. He has very little dialogue and cyborg. Yeah blood sport had preceded. This van. Damme did have lines in the movie. But this entire film probably has more grunts and screams than spoken lines. Funny enough that's why it works. A kind of imagine directing van damme at this point was directing arnold in conan the barbarian. Okay posers your shirt off. good look intense. Excellent do a few karate moves also pose some more. Okay okay okay. Now now and i hit someone outstanding. Cut despite my starkey tone there. That's what makes cyborg work and really entertaining puny exactly who he was working with. And what he was working with a belgian guy who could kinda sorta act as his hero a bunch of people from the american gladiators touring companies villains. You don't write snappy dialogue like the commando for the big fight for people like this. You just have them say now. It is kind of funny funny to watch it. But they're at it's like really. You couldn't write dialogue but at the same time. If i think about it there might be like an movie or in universities in for it. Oh yeah and okay dot kind of i thought this through right right so hear me out because actually makes sense so this is a future where the world has been completely decimated by plague. People are struggling to survive while there are people in this movie who do actually talk for more than a few syllables. The world is ruled by the brutal. Brutality speaks so loudly that words are unnecessary so in the final fight in atlanta all this raw animal brutal power to people going at each other. It's also to ultra masculine muscle. Bound dudes going at each other but really. I can't imagine that this is a world that verbalize is a lot. I mean the environment speaks for them. Children thought it through. I think Our director did as well because for movie which he was given only five hundred thousand dollars for he essentially looked around at what was left after cannon burn through that to mill developing spiderman and masters to and. He was like all right. I'm gonna make do with what i can say. Most of the fights take place on the beach were various hollowed out buildings or an unruffled strewn. straight-sets. I can't imagine it was hard to scout or expensive shoot in an abandoned warehouse plus the credit of pune. Whomever helped choreograph van. Damme's fights those action sequences are really. Well done yeah. It's a lot of punching kicking but there's a lot of really good knife fighting very little use of firearms in fact not many people. If any people are walking around with commando level armament gibson carries a gun. That looks kind of like the gun. That jesse tas it predator but if fires only one bullet at a time what i read it actually was a paintball come. They re dressed for the film. I can imagine that with five hundred thousand dollars to us. They didn't have to access to schwarzenegger stallone. Level guns and ammo but again in universe wouldn't work this post-apocalyptic world is lived in other words. It's been a while since society collapsed. And i can only imagine that. A companies aren't manufacturing automatic weapons in the ammunition for them anymore and be manufacturing the ammunition especially a lot of those whose eclipse. They've been used up right so knives. Nice can be homemade. Trust me my father-in-law watches a lot of knife making videos on youtube. And there's fights in the beginning of the movie but the really the second half of the movie which is really like one big long fight and chasing interrupted with a couple of like you know moments of pesos. It's all really well done of the the abandoned building fight in charleston. We got gibson in navy and and and you know they. She gets captured. He takes out a number of muscle bound higher. It's in various ways. He's got the rosa klebb knife shoe. Which looks really frigging awesome when he kicks it across the guy's throat but in this whole thing he then like gets completely overwhelmed. Because fenders gangs two dozen people. So you know there's in fact there's a scene where like he you know he gets knocked around and take it out and then you see like all the other people the gang you're like a. Wow there's a big gang of people so he can't take like everybody out. Not only that gives them just just get. The crap kicked out of him at various points. You see him get tired and it's not something that you're used to seeing from the larger than life action. Here's the day you know you know. Maybe john maclean and die hard. But you know arnie and all that you know it's like they're like machines they keep going through these things and when he's tired of beat up the villains keep coming at him you know. In fact pearl tells gibson that she'd rather stick with fender because yet gibson's a hero. She knows he's not gonna make it it. It makes total sense and You know that backstory put in which they flash back to a little too much in that like you know they have to fill out time in the movie or something for it but That backstory gives us that motivations to why he keeps going after fender like. Why doesn't he just give up. And i do have to point out like again. Just as i as i talk about this i i notice. I remember a couple of really really good fight scenes. Wanna martian the sewer one is pretty cool because there's a scene where one of those big hulking pirate guys is walking through the sewers looking for him and van damme is doing the split across the top of the sewer pipe and Has the knife. Like pointed down at him and the guy looks up. And you don't see him come down on the guy. You just hear the scream. It's a really really cool. See i really really liked that. And then again just the fights themselves they look they look hollywood at choreographed but at the same time you feel kind of a real impact them i just i just really enjoyed the fight scenes. Now talk about some of the other characters here Pearl hadn't she does a serviceable job. She she knows she's the plots macguffin. She's playing someone who is half robot at one point. They give her back story and that she was a actual human woman who volunteer to be turned into a cyborg. And there's some really bad like makeup and prop look of the cyborg there but You know a again. It's a low budget movie. You kind of excuse these things and she can act logical and not have to be the damsel in distress haley. Haley has two or three lines in the movie. There's simple sounding something that speaks to the lack of verbal communication. I was talking about earlier and also was a little kid when fender kidnapped her. I can't imagine she got much of an actual formal education among the pirates mary Who is played by terry. Batson has all three or four lines in the film and she's just there to be in gibson's memories is the woman he fell in love with and then watch die A little tree item by the way. Here's that batsman's dialogue is all dubbed over so. She's not speaking the lines in the final film. Somebody dubbed her voice voice over hers and she actually didn't know this until she took her family to see the film and the theater in fact a lot of the dialogue. and this is this is off putting it. i just kind of get used to it I it sounds like it was badly dubbed over. But again this for five hundred thousand dollars the standoff female character in the film is needy. Girl who becomes the robin to gibson's batman she's a scrappy fighter and holds her own a number of fight scenes. She's played by debra richter who's credits prior to cyborg are mostly television roles although she does play candy in the nineteen eighty david naughton michael j. fox cult classic midnight madness and i really liked her and i really liked her character. She starts off by just sticking with gibson because they both kind of have a similar mission but then they not only become loyal to one another but they avoid the lovers trope in fact. It's a really good scene. Were there camping for the night on the beach and she actually takes top office way to like offer herself up to have because i imagine that something she's used to doing and he refuses her. Yeah we got a boob shot. We actually also get a shot of her. she when they reach the beach and she runs into the water. Kinda clean herself off. And if you go to the imdb page for cyborg. It's one of the first images of the images of the movie thing. That's right on the page. So there you go you get to see directors ass but that whole scene with him refusing. Actually a nice touch. It gives a little bit of de gibson. He's someone who probably can't think of loving anyone else after what he's been through and it allows her realize that she doesn't have to do that much her death bummy out to She's not a woman in a refrigerator. You know this is the final fight. She's essentially collateral damage in the final fight. But it's another statement about the brutality of it. All and i do wish she would have been in the final scene like that that after getting rid of fender like him and haley had become like slinger team were something that would have set up a really cool. Like sequel idea were further adventures idea or something but anyway the final fight with. Let's let's look at that because it takes place after everyone's crossed into atlanta. It's in the rain because of course it's in the rain and vincent klein as fender and he was really how much acting experience he was a professional surfer out of hawaii. Like one of the one of the more premier for professional surfers at the time anyway. He's he's a really imposing big guy and he's perfectly cast because all he's there to do is to be the typical van damme villain van damme villains in a lot of his first few movies. Don't do much except stand. There look menacing and be enormous. Plus they have klein where these freaky blue contact lenses under the terminator style sunglasses and the church and that he's wearing he's also like chain mail over post-apocalyptic clothing which were bits and pieces of costume from masters of the universe Blade i think the character was or something the blade guy with the patch. So you've got this guy this imposing terminator esque villain and the fight. The fight just goes on and on and on you have gibson killing the henchman. You have eighty fighting a woman in an abandoned bar. That's just like they're throwing punches. They're throwing furniture at each other. They're throwing each other across the bar. It's really really good. And then you get the final showdown. Fender takes off his chainmail bare-chested and they just stare at each other and really it takes like they're starting to the for like what seems forever and it's like totally dumb action movie scene but at that point of the film like i'm almost an hour and a half into this and i'm like let's do this. I'm all in the fight scenes. You know. I put any pretense out the window that this was a good movie. I just wanna see these to the ever loving shit out of each other and really. I was getting hyped no it. It's not the realistic type of fight. It's not roddy piper keith. David from What's it called They live but damn. It's just exactly what i wanted. You've got at including that jump scare that. He's not dead moment before gibson and fender wind up in a shed and the whole time. Like you don't see the meat hook that he gets impaled on. But you see chains and mike and i keep thinking i'm like those chains like they keep hitting each other in the shed and you see the changes of the chain like those chains are gonna come into somebody's death at one point. Either fenders going to try to control gibson with them or gibson's good a choke vendor with them and then all of a sudden like you see him kick him into the thing and you're like oh. There was a meat hook. They're like the his back is impaled with the meat hook and he's just like hanging there and that last shot gibson leaves the shed and you see fender hanging on the wall off the ground with the meat hook and his back. It's a really good shot. It feels satisfied that like yeah man he. He went toe to toe. This guy for like for ever you know just like and finally beat the guy and the ending with him essentially realizing they need me out there as opposed to can be safe with all of you is a really good one it. It is the sort of completion of this reluctant heroes journey etc the sense of mission and he walks off with with haley. Like i said i wish it would have been him haley and needy. But you know i still thought it was a satisfying ending and you can tell because i just spent much of this episode gushing over the fill it. It's just what i wanted out of it. You know. And i think. I think i liked it so much back then and like it now because it's one of those few early vandamme movies. That has a little bit more a story than usual. Because let's face it. You've got blood sport kickboxer lionheart. And they're really entertaining. But they're basically the same movie and if you go into thinking that this movie cyborg is going to be a dumb low budget violence fast and you put away any expectations that has to have meaning or be innovative or said a message or whatever we put up with these days. You will have a lot of fun now. Cyborgs on amazon prime. Or it was when i when i When i went to watch this. Although i will tell you that i did not watch this on amazon prime so i don't know the quality of transfer because i watched my vhs copy. Because of course. I had to watch the subway. Vhs copy you know. i mean. I wouldn't have it any other way if i if i could It does retain through streaming services here and there before i finish up. I have one other thing. This is really interesting. This was this was a comic book at one point. Now this it's it's it's something. I found that i've had this for a long time. I think i got it out of. I don't think i bought it off of iraq. I think i got out of a dollar seller a fifty cent sale. Or maybe guy got it for free as a promo comic. But cannon home-video actually put outs a canon video comic collectors edition comic called cyborg the star of blood sport in cyborg and it says adapted from the hit film. Cyborg coming to video stores september twentieth. It was essentially a comic book adaptation. That told the story up to the point where gibson and fender face off in the film. So you kind of have to in. The last pages has to experience the spectacular climax of this epic odyssey into the future. Watch for the premiere of cyborgs starring. Jean claude van damme videocassette available video outlets nationwide beginning september twentieth. So it was a promo comic to hype people up for the video home video. Release of the film. It's it writing wise. It's essentially the the movie just kind of like your typical like one shot movie. Adaptation of like okay shot for shot for shot like little bits and pieces. Kind of telling us the movie would trying to show to the art. The artist really bad. It's it's like you know there's kind of a likeness of some of these things. I don't know who did it. There's no real credits. The cover has van cleave and involved shoal in the signature but i. I don't know who the names are. End the ads inside the comic or all for future cannon who video releases and stuff like that. I'll get to this in a second. So you know you've got this really kind of poorly drug humming but as you flip through a you also have some kind of publicity materials. You have a profile page of the stars. So it's called the good the bad and the lovely backstage with the cast a cyborg. So you see john. Claude van damme. You've got to run out of his career. Dale hadn't career vincent clients career. It's where by the way. Learn how to pronounces name because it says klein say klein is a surf boarding and skateboarding. Champion and then debra richter roth mueller and lease long. Who were some of the other cast members you flip through it. Some worry you have a little bit of how weapons in the film were made and actually talk about like the things. I was talking about like some of the captions here of society and posting technology but high in violence Weapons and not too distant password blend together out of necessity though carefully. Choreographed fights caused their sheriff scrapes and bruises. They show Some stills from the film and get a little bit into how these things were put together you flipping through some more. We have a little bit of production notes and in how things were put together a conversation interview with director albert. Pune you have a like almost like you could tear this out and put it on your wall. Tiger beat sort of picture van dam holding a gun on another one with a vincent klein Kind of a pinup page photograph. And then finally a people actually wrote letters to the movie and had their Had their opinions like a letter. It's really interesting and the ads are for other candidates releases. So there's one the first one says to tough now available. Videocassettes bronze bronson's kin getafe forbidden subjects. And then american ninja three blood hunt. I'm pretty sure i saw that. I know american ninja too. I love american. Ninja one but River of death death. Michael dudenkov robert von donald pleasants. Movie scene. that i had michael dudakovic's actors. I really liked the eighty s and my dad really liked. I remember that. I remember another ninja type of movie. That wasn't american ninja with him a track that one down there's a three Like a triptych of of movies on an ad for tommy lee jones. Virginia madsen movie called gotham track. Twenty nine featuring theresa russell gaffe gary oldman and christopher lloyd and five corners with jodie foster. Tim robbins todd. Graff and john turturro a ad for a bunch of horror films from cannon videos crucible a har- beast of the seller dracula's last rites new year's evil blood on satan's clyde schizoid started class kinski. There actually is funny enough. There's a comic book convention ad those greatest and comic book as that you would see. There's so that's a legit comic book ad here and The you have an ad for cannon movie tales fairy tale things beauty the beasts puts boots the printing on. This is a couple of words that obviously looks like something didn't line up. And then the powwow highway which was called which the seattle times called the native american rainman. And then on the back of a candid video ad for cyborg which notes that john. Claude van damme was in predator. And this was something that I was like when i was a kid. I was like he's in predator. And there's i'd seen predator wartimes than i probably count at that point It wasn't until years later is that i knew that learned that. He was cast as the predator but early into pre production. It just didn't work out. He was complaining about how the the suit made him sick. He could move in it. They decided to go with. Kevin kevin peter hall who was much more bigger at imposing. And and what you got. It made him The elliott war. Like you didn't really have any lines. And things like that. But i guess because they damp had been cast in the movie candidate thought we'll put predator in there so I don't think that any footage of vandamme and the predator costume exists by the way. Not in these sort of eric. Stoltz shot fifteen minutes or so back to the future before they decided to replace him with michael j. fox and you can still see the back of stoltze his head in one of the scenes in that film sort of way i think they just they realized pretty quickly in the van dam was going to work out but anyway i wanted to note that promo comic because like i said i've had it for a long time at this point and it'll it rotates through cheap bins every once in a while at it's just kind of audie curiosity like somebody would put a whole comic together justice a problem for this movie an r. Rated movie that and this is clearly aimed at kind of slightly older kids who were two youngest already movies technically but then again late late eighties. We're getting ready to movies at twelve so cannon that all right that does it for cyborg I do have some feedback. And what. I'm going to do now is take a break. Come back i'll get to stick around Talk a fan. Podcast devoted to the adventures of twenty third century. Bounty on our mercy. Saint clair from the pages of trekker comics by writer and artists. Ron randell sarah. And i'm ruth. Please join us as we discussed the stories characters and art in this excellent retro scifi adventure series special episodes feature interviews with ron randell himself discussing trekker and his other comics. We hope you'll join us as we travel from the dangerous back streets of new gallup to the depths of outerspace and everywhere in between. Listen pod being itunes stitcher. Google klay and youtube follow us on facebook twitter and instagram or visit. Trekker talk dot com. Check her talk as part of the rat. Adventures network at rw adventures network dot com. And i am back with some listener. Emails and comments. I have some blog posts comments. I want to get to some of a recent Of older every once in a while. I get blog posts. Comments were press emails. Me to tell me i keep beating to put them into a feedback section on the on the show which i did would pop. Culture david one. Oh one Now one of the buckets that had and this is really interesting to me. One of the that gets comment every once in a while is from twenty twelve nine years ago right and this is about the kevin bacon. Sean astin movie. Whitewater summer Since september twenty twenty. I've gotten three comments in that post. That i wanted to read them off as well as one of my replies the versus josh reagan. Who said i just want to say that it's ridiculous. How no one online actually lists some of the true filming locations of this movie including imdb. They see quincy california in the sierra nevada mountains which has some general truth regards the initial driving on a lot of hiking mountaineering etc. But man how about some specifics. I'll be damned if that's not highway. Seventy along the feather river quote near quincy california on the drive to their trail head for the trip. I've driven that stretch of highway. Many times. And i swear that's it. It would just be nice to get some confirmation online. I'd just like to have some more specific info on all filming locations and is not listed anywhere. You can't have such a great movie with such great shots of areas in and around the northern sierra nevada mountains and not refer to its exact spots. It's disrespectful. I replied back in september. This is a really good point. I'm from the east coast. But there are definitely times where i can tell where something was shop at the imdb detail details are either vaguer not existed especially when the film is a little more obscure. You know people know this film. But it's not footage. For example i will say. Imdb does allow you to edit and add to their information. The same way with pierre does it would be pretty cool to see that because sometimes knowing were a movie was filmed makes good road trip. Mario montalvo followed up for us. In march twenty fifth twenty twenty one saying i just drove the stretch of highway seventy last week. Who incidentally before watching the movie. I can say for sure that it is highway. Seventy in the intro. Even the campground they turn into silverlake campground in quincy is still there. I know the production was split between nor cal canada and new zealand. But i agree. It would be nice to know which scenes were shot. Where and of course. I will add here. That there's obviously closing seen a number of scenes that were filmed for the framing device in central park in new york and remember scenes filmed in new york. I just. I love getting these. I love getting the people and whitewater summers one of those movies. I really wanna come back to go find it on to find a dvd blu ray or streaming and. Just watch it again. Because it's a beautifully shot movie. And you know if i hadn't done the blog post nine years ago i would have probably thrown into the podcast episode rotation It is it because it's just it's it's a movie that i hold a lot of regard because of the number of times i watched it when i was a kid and i really love it for that and i always find it a fun kid forward drama in a way. That is I don't know i just i. It's got tensed tencent intensity to it but the same time It's not fantastic. Goal like some of the some of the more ninety kids stuff and things like that. I'm always really really enjoyed it And vicky pee on june twenty seven th of this year commented and said that she was looking some information about the movie whitewater summer and she came across my side. She had to ask her two cents. Now was a seventy five year old woman. This is still one of my favorite movies. Sean asked him was adorable and kevin bacon. Well what can i say. His career has been incredible. And sean has made a big as well. I fell in love with this film along with the music in it. I bet i've seen whitewater summer more than one hundred times. We'll continue watching wherever it's shown. Yeah the music in the movie by the way if you're unfamiliar with whitewater summer is from bruce hornsby and the ranges one thousand nine hundred six album the way it is They play on the western skyline and the wild frontier. I believe or two of the songs there might be a third one in there and You know that. Bruce hornsby and the range album. Thank you spotify. I listened to last week all the way through. Because i knew the. That's just the way it. Is you know mandolin rain. But honestly that whole album really really good and and you know so. I recommend the bruce hornsby album as well as whitewater summer. All right so even older post than that whitewater summer post this one about the worby. This was a late eighties ball. Throw toy that. I wrote about back and i think like twenty ten twenty eleven. That got a comment in november. Twenty twenty well somebody with the name. Just a girl born in the seventies you know when it came to commercials in the nineteen eighties. Very few toys advertise actually delivered on their promises. This theme song popped into my head. This morning is random. Memories tend to do. I'm so glad you talked about it and had a commercial for it and i remember the pogo ball and skip it. I mentioned those as well. Yeah or be. You could go back if i remember. All linked to in the show notes. The old posted or was this thing was like it was like a stig. Happy fun ball looking orange ball with a plastic with a hole in it. You put a plastic thing in the whole of the under the plastic kind of tether here. Were these ribbons. Like you know you put on a little kid's bicycle and what you would do you. Would you would toilet around and then throw it kind of like a hammer like the hammer throw in the seaward fly like through the air and eventually gets a tree but but but i just remembered this when i was. It was one of the first centuries river the block. Because i remember it really relieve league and i and i don't know what happened to ours. I think the the plastic the ribbons got broken. I think we they'd use the orpheus ball is just kind of a ball the toss around but But yeah it's just kind of cool again like these old post just every once in a while. Get a comment. For instance my post last summer about the nintendo game basis loaded it was called paste. Goes yard was the name of the post and k. jason link posted right now. We're in a massive societal lockdown. Which means that all of us are sitting at home and trying to find things to good article. I recently bought a any system and basis looted. My brother and i applied a couple of times. And it's still fun. My number one baseball team will always be baseball stars. While this bit cartoon show is always amazed at the ability to create teams custom. Mice and manage bases loaded was a distant second by the way. You're still in contact with your old pal. Tom yes i actually. He and i am message every once in a while on facebook and instagram and stuff like that i posted he shared with me A commercial just the other about the upcoming thirty for thirty about the eighty. Six matt's when i posted a picture of the gun from the tops baseball pack on. It's the last Last month he said. And i bet they were. You know so many of these there were like three of this player in there because you know again so yeah we keep in touch. She's down in atlanta and and Is really good guy Snp baseball stars. That was a game. I really liked but i i got that toward the end of mind nintendo time so i'd never actually owned it. I would just rent it every once in a while. But i thought the whole create. Your own team thing was really cool to. It was a really really good game. bases-loaded is still number one in my mind mainly because of connection i have to it in the number of times i plead it and how much i loved it and still love to play it so Another common i got was on an old blog post about. The sierra coco wheats cya grayson commented on cuckoo for coco. Wheats saying his grandfather who passed away started eating this when he was young boy on a farm in north dakota in the forties. He always had some when we came to visit in with us boxes as well. I don't know exact proportion but in essential things to addis condensed milk. I saw the water before. I put the coco wheats in. Shake them in while stirring after it's boiling continue stirring while it thickens and add the condensed milk. I don't know how much coco wheats to water. I can feel. Just the starring meets a certain resistance point. Yeah i've lately been making those for breakfast here. And there and i always best up in the microwave where they get clumpy so i had milk. I don't really. i'm not convinced fan. But i do. Add milk milk and that does seem to help but thank you and then there's what i missed a few years ago. Pretty sure i did. Not put it in my episode one one comment recap but i wanted to put it here Back in july fourth dug up by liberty we can post from two thousand eleven ten years ago and shared it out on the ttf cantina group in on the an reassured another pop page and there was a comment on there that i missed from twenty eighteen west. Te- bowker wrote. Hey there firstly. I realized this article is currently seven years old but i stumbled upon researching family history at one point. You mentioned the song lady of liberty as performance shelly towns. What brought me to this article. Is that my late uncle charles. Blaylock wrote the song if you're still alive today. I'm sure get a kick out of knowing one of his songs that was heard by someone decades later. Thanks for sharing means a lot to me. that's really cool i Every once in a while like back on the one zero one episode. I told you about how like the sister of the guy who's the dr pepper commercials commented on my blog. Post a couple of times. I always love that. It's just and and this is just random. It's nothing like you know noteworthy celebrity type of stuff. But i just. I thought that was really really cool and i wanted to share it out all right. So let's get onto comments and messages about podcast episodes recently for episode one twenty. I talked to my friend chris. Lynam about wasted time has pumped banned from back in the nineties. Here are some of the comments. I got on a episodes. These are all from former classmates of ours. pat mueller said. That was great really. Well done chris who knew my early eclectic. Music tastes would have an influence. By the way. I still of the story of you guys listened to the green day. Sound check as part of your big break time. I look forward to listening to your other. Podcast jessica assurance at thanks. Tom thanks for sharing. Tom brings back so many memories. One of my best friends melissa. Ressano rodriguez said loved listening to this. And then jillian. David commented on the cover of chris's album waste time album. When was fun because the photograph is of her younger brother sitting on a swing set. She said al. Ll my little brother Honestly it was off. That was one of the best episodes. I've done in recent years And it was really really fun to do. And i really appreciated that. So many people enjoyed hearing it on episode one. Twenty-one donovan morgan grant and i talking about the judas contract aaron head moss said love this run On episode one twenty two shag. And i talking about uncanny x men new teen titans bryan hughes comment on a facebook saying sharing the scene where starfighter kisses colossus says. I'm going to point out here for no other reason that it is fun to that. If the roles were reversed here and colossus with the kiss star fire we would be hearing it described as the infamous sexual assault seen. Today i k. I don't think colossus would've tried to kiss our fire. It doesn't seem to be his character finally on episode one twenty three which aired last month. I have messages on. Facebook been comments on facebook via michael. Bailey michael wagner and an email from professor alan. So here's the message from my belly. He says love. The trading card episode was lot of fun comic images. Now that by the way was the spider man. Set the spiderman. Pack that i grabbed an open air. Comic images was one of the lower rung trading companies that started out doing sets on cheaper paper. That were just images from the comics. They step things up in one thousand nine hundred and started doing glossier cards. But the coloring sucked. They made the marvel license for a bit and did sits for savage dragon and youngblood that spiderman set will make your eyes bleed because of the coloring. Yeah i Those cards were not particularly and they all look like it was like you know when you try to do a copy of a copy of a copy and photocopier and zoomed into the point. Where you really can't make things out. It's it was not the Best best spent money to be honest. Michael wagner says about baseball cards. I was into don rusher baseball and hoops for basketball. Actually never owned any basketball cards. I had a. I had a very small hockey car. Collection will tell you mostly nhl pro set and then had a few football cards. I also i. And i'll get back to your milliseconds. Your comment of michael also failed to mention the company score that was like a fourth company fifth company that that existed and i had a few cards by score at one point or another but again not enough to say that i am out that that anything about two two collection. I don't think score really exist. They might have gotten absorbed by another company or bought by marvel or something at one point in the nineties. Anyway back into michael's comment. He says that he was a big fan of the premier upper deck baseball series. Two he says think my card with most valuable was the michael jordan baseball card. I pulled from pack thinking back now. It was funny. Pull the card from the pack. The card shop employee was watching. When i was leaving. I was putting my cards in my pocket so i could ride my bike home. He freaked out and gave me a hard sleeve because the card had value. Oh wow that's a good odour. michael says. I didn't get the freakout nine. Let the kids do what they want. It only has value three value for too many investors to make a quick buck but have poisoned the fun entertainment of children's hobbies. That is true. You know it's funny I can think of one thing. I don't really have a lot. That's incredibly valuable. Like i said the most valuable quote valuable baseball card very few baseball cards. Like like a handful is a key third rookie card. isn't a hard plastic sleeve. Because i when i got it. I was like oh. I'm going to get hard. Plastic sleaford amount of come in the hard plastic sleeve. It was shipped in ebay so i kept it there. It was like okay. that's important. I've got a couple of valuable comics. Said never got them slab but a few years ago. I was buying scooby doo team up and For my son. And they have a issue. Where harley quinn and poison ivy are teaming up with the scooby gang and apparently that went big in terms of cost for harley quinn appearance or something like that and the guy at the comic store was saying like yeah that the things going crazy 'cause people want it for the harlequin thing as might have been around. The time of the suicide squad movie was coming out. And i said that's really funny because my kid has an. It's just sitting in a box in his room and it's probably all beat up. You know just kind of like you know you wanted to read the comics. So and i had no idea i was buying it was. It was on my pulis. Oh you're right there. There's this weird sort of and i don't wanna i don't wanna come down sounding like an asshole here regarding the way people do collected preserve. Because you do you The people who speculate and really try to make a living speculating and that they essentially scalp. Action figures scalp comics. The way you would scalped tickets I probably shouldn't use the word scout but try to resell it. I r- price a decks. And they're certainly certain curiosities. That i don't that i do not get i. Guess like i've seen people who have boxed in slab like nintendo games. And i guess i see the value having like metro in its original boxing. Great condition and preserving that. But i have a metro dade cartridge here. I don't have the box. But i have the book that i have the sleeve and everything and i just play it because i have the nintendo and stuff so i don't know it's weird. It's it's you can have a whole collection about that like started with collection all conversation about that in episode. Like how far do you go is a collector. And how far do you preserve it. How much do you preserve ends. What's the monetary value of doing so. I'm gonna put a pigeon that michael. Because i think that's a really good conversation to have a podcast and i think the guest to do it would be professor alan. Anyway thank you for email. They give you the idea that it came up as i was responding to spontaneously here so professor. Alan did send me an email and with the subject of baseball cards he says tom love the recent baseball card episode. Especially the dramatic life pack. Openings dramatic stuff. Collecting middleton thing. My father was a stamp collector until when his health was such that he no longer able to keep collecting. he has slowly begun investing process. But i imagine that it is something my sister and i will ended up having to finish hopefully many years from now my first collection passion was baseball cards just before comic books. Mostly a love them for the statistics on the back. That's that was the seventies version of baseball reference dot com kids. Yeah i love the stats of the backs of baseball cards. Or maybe thomas in the window of spent quality time with the baseball encyclopedia. What can i say. Baseball stats with my i could. I don't know if i if i saw the baseball encyclopedia. I probably flip through it. I remember not owning any stat books and stuff like that myself. But i do remember checking out stuff like that from the library or like baseball history books too. I i really do like reading baseball history From library so more than likely. I came across it sorta stuff in the library but he says can i say the baseball stats my first decode. Yeah anyway i never had more than a shoebox of cards and only one was at all collectible. I had one thousand nine hundred. Seventy four. nate colbert card. What made it unique was that there was a rumor in the off season that there was a rumor That the patriots moved to washington. This was posturing to get a better stadium. San diego but tops did not know that so there. Some colbert cards that show him in padres uniform but identified as playing for washington with the nicotine name national league. He attached image and i will put it on the website. Mine was never in decent condition today might possibly fell self or five bucks. maybe ten. I sold my entire collection. Shoebox included that neat Bear card included for twenty dollars at that. Memory serves that card in top condition which might never was sells for about one hundred bucks. It would never paid for emma's college at least there's that's no allen your turok dinosaur hunter number one comics paid for m's college Take care of the summer. Keep the good work professor allen of the relatively geeky podcast network and that will do. Its before i go a couple of things of note programming notes. I i am working on getting all the episodes back onto the feed Teacher freaks launched a new website this year. And that kind of mess up our feeds a little bit right now. You'll be able to listen to the back catalogue on the other website itself but our podcast feed through apple podcasts etc only has the episodes that i've put on there which i i made. Sure that all the twenty twenty one episodes were on there as well as all of fallen walls open curtains and my hopes that by the end of the summer. I'll have the time to kind of put everything back the way it should and everything we back to normal so if you end up with a bunch of unlisted two episodes in your feed because they're really old episodes feel free to delete them or re listen to them comment on them if you want to. But that's why they will be showing up speaking the fallen walls up and curtains. I'll be back in just a couple of weeks with that. I'll have episode eight of the miniseries. Looney spending that episode looking at the events of june of nineteen ninety one through august of nineteen ninety-one as well as more ease movies This in this case. Us soviet conflict movies soviet invasion movies like red dawn as well as rocky for the movie that won the cold war and finally this august and september. I'm going to be presenting another six part miniseries. This one is called nine eleven in popular culture over the course of those six episodes which will come out about twice a week in august. Early september i will be looking at the movies music comic books literature and other items of popular culture that are either about responding to or inspired by the events of september eleventh. Two thousand one. So i hope you're able to come back for all of that. The meantime please drop me a line to let me know what you think about this episode or any other episode of the show and as always. Thanks for listening and take care. Thanks for listening to pop. Culture affidavit which is produced by me. Tom panners all clips are copyright their respective copyright holders and no infringement is intended this podcast is part of the chew true freaks internet radio network which you can find to true freaks dot com. If you like the show. Please leave a review on apple podcasts and helps the show get noticed by other people feedback by email can be sent to pop. Culture affidavit at g mail dot com for show notes and essays and other things random in the world of popular culture visit. Pop culture affidavit dot com. You can also follow this show on facebook at facebook dot com slash. Pop culture affidavit and on twitter at pop ask that's pop a thanks for listening and come back next time for more. Pop culture randomness

gibson van damme atlanta haley Claude van damme gibson rickenbacker new york vandamme cannon ron randell pune Pune Tom tanneries fender Sean claude van damme ron rentals academic ghana gone theater Claude van plague
Episode 103: Belgium (or "Chocolate and Beer and Frites, Oh My!")

The Practical Wanderlust Podcast

1:01:41 hr | 1 year ago

Episode 103: Belgium (or "Chocolate and Beer and Frites, Oh My!")

"Ah What Swan or SWAN WOULD I be. Ginger Swan Ginger Swan. I don't know we duckling. Ginger you're calling me the Ugly Duckling Oh you're lengthened cast over divorce really and Jeremy where the accident prone travelers behind tactical on your less and we're here to dish out travel tips tricks. USEFUL TRIVIA USELESS TRIVIA mildly entertaining anecdotes and everything else. You need to avoid making all of our terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible doc. Mistakes and we make a lot of mistakes on this episode. We're GONNA talk about a country that is now one of our favorites but completely surprised prize. Does I honestly did not think we were GONNA like Belgium all that much. Okay well. We're talking about Belgium. You just gave it spoilers. We're talking about Belgium today. Thirty seconds spoilers. So the story of how are we got to. Belgium is kind of a long one that we're going to get in and a future episode six months six. Basically we were honeymooning for six months. Long Story Short. We'll tell you later. So we'RE WE'RE GONNA skip basically to Belgium. We decided to go to Belgium now because of like any particular knowledge that we had about Belgium but mostly because we found a really cheap cheap flights to Copenhagen and when we looked on a map. Belgium was Kinda Close Copenhagen. You know what scope and we're GonNa have the worst pronunciation those episode. I want to suggest warn everybody. I only speak Spanish. I do not speak any other language that only one. I only speak English and also Spanish. And that's the only one can you do your Jackson. Excellent Lee nailed Florida five anyway. We're not speaking friends at desert. We did want to go to France though in Belgium was right in between our two stop so France and the Netherlands so that was really the reason and everybody that makes sense. Everyone that we talked to about. Our trip had the same exact reaction action really. We like our going to Copenhagen and then dom and then a bunch of other places and then Belgium and they were like Oh okay how long you stop it in Belgian for two weeks and everybody was like Oh. We didn't know why because everything that we knew about Belgium to that point was food related which is generally a very good sign for us. Let me hit you with our list of prior knowledge of Belgium fries beer chocolate waffles period. No no there's also Jean Claude van Damme John Claude. Van Damme it. Actually I would wager a guess that that is the American Pronunciation Birmingham. Somebody will have to Dallas. Joe Glad Vandam I would guess that's actually probably closer the the muscles from Brussels. Yeah the other thing that we knew about. I'm not being fair to Belgium is that I had heard of Belgium. Because of the movie in Bruges Bruce. You've never heard of Belgium before. IMBUES roy heard more information about Belgium. Okay so your entire knowledge about an entire country was based off of a Crime Caper movie starring Colin Farrell Same. I mean Babe I also knew about John Claude van Damme and fries beer chocolate waffles. Yeah so we weren't going into this trip with a lot of prior knowledge here. I will also say that in Bruges. It is a brilliant movie that you should watch but they also kind of make fun of Belgium them a lot. I actually when I watched it. Maybe it's because so you made me watch it right because you were like. Oh we have to spend Christmas in Bruges because I want to say that I spent Christmas in Bruges and and you kept being like Indonesia and I was like what the fuck is and so you maybe watch the movie and it's actually. I thought I did a really good job of making you want to travel to Belgium like they romanticize the city the entire time like one guy keeps making fun of it but by the end of the movie. Everybody's on board that it's a lovely city and a wonderful place to go and also it's a very body slapstick sort of crime comedy and there's a there's a lot of capers unrelated to uh-huh lovely bridges. Yeah there's a lot more blood than we saw it. It's a crime movie. It's a really weird funny movie. I would recommend it. I would especially recommended. If you've decided added to go to Bruce. Although those four treats were the main bits of knowledge that we knew there's a reason for treats plus Okay less less John Claude van Damme. Well there's a reason that those those four edible things John Claude van Damme is edible if you're talking about cannibalism if there's a reason why you think fries beer chocolate and waffles when you think of Belgian because they're delicious we are the best of those four things. You can find anywhere that that's a good way of putting it like they are literally the best like you aren't going to find better fries better. Chocolate better waffles. Better Jong Van Damme anywhere else. We'll start with the chocolate so so this is a kind of a fun. Little history fact so edible chocolate actually came from South America. I wish we thought it was nifty because we came from South America right before we went to Europe and actually originated from the Mayans who made really disgusting super bitter chocolate drink. That's kind of like watery chocolate tea with no sugar whatsoever. We did try it in Peru and it was super gross gross. Sometimes it's spicy and that doesn't help but the doors kind of like taking a break from just ransacking sacking. The shit out of South America added some sugar to it and it was really good and they sent it back to Europe and the Europeans were like on not too bad. That's not RPM accent. Then there was this pharmacist name newhouse who came up with a way to make chocolate solidify. He then used his new invention in the most unappealing way possible as a way to take pills like he was a pharmacist and so he made chocolate hills which just seems like what a waste of creative talent and delicious chocolate. Like that's just depressing. We'll say like stepping back. That's a pretty smart way to get your kids to take your pills because at the time pills were made from kind of just like suckling and just like mouldy. Old just rolled around on the floor. It was just disgusting like all medication was horrible. Most of it was made from worms. None of that is accurate or fact. Check so don't quote quote me on that but it was gross and chocolate was definitely a step up so after his disappointingly boring initial contribution to the evolution of chocolate Neuhaus eventually through his pharmacist lab coat away and got back to furiously inventing things with chocolate. Eventually he invented the praline. Yeah he liked through back on his pharmacist lab coat and realized that there were more exciting things to do with chocolate than just hills and he invented the praline. which so I know that like in America? There's that's kind of like a crunchy chocolate thing. But in Belgium them a praline just describes a filled chocolate and I much prefer the Belgian version and then his wife came up with the idea of a chocolate gift box. Isn't that swing it. It's like if you you invented something and then I was like here. Honey designs you this bag to put it in. Could you do that all the time. I make a batch of cookies for my kids and you're like how can we like bring it in on a parade float. Actually I think what I did was I said. Hey I don't I feel really guilty about throwing out this plastic bottle of Collagen powder that I used up. What if we put the cookies in that which there's nowhere near as exciting romantic so true story? That is exactly accurate and that Collagen is. I think I'm GONNA use it as a planter. Actually Hashtag zero waste. So why are the fries so good Because they fry them in beef fat do like there is no other way to make fries. I'm sorry Vegetarians. Like I'm sorry I'm sorry in and out. I'm sorry everybody. They are definitely better fried in beef fat. They're double fried and be fed. Oh that's right. Yeah they are freaking militias and then they pair them with muscles which sounds super weird. But it's like the Belgian version of fish and chips except for the muscles aren't fried there like an delicious yummy sort of bath thing. Are you talking about John. Claude Van van Damme again. I'm talking about. Oh Yeah it's like you know it's uh broth that's the word I was looking for soup thing Roth. Yes we you go on and on about the beer but that's coming later episode and then there's The waffles there's two different kinds of Belgian waffles. There's Belgian waffles and Liege waffles. Belgian waffles are fluffier and later and lose. Waffles are heavier and more dense with these like crunchy little nuggets of sugar woven into the dough. But they're both a freaking delicious. I would take any of them any day of the week. I feel like I prefer leauge. Yeah I did too. I like I like a little bit of crunch in my heavy sugary waffles. And you don't need to put anything on them but if you do it should be Sour Cherries. Because that's also a Belgian thing. God I love food. I know we need to go back. So our plan for Belgian was. We're GONNA start in British. See I I told you. You can't say it without doing the Colin Farrell. Yeah I mean he says in Bruges the whole time yeah. There's a lot of cursing it's pretty. Do we need to believe that it's an are you're in. Let's try it and that's the whole time anyway. We were starting enbridge and we wanted to celebrate Christmas there. We were going to stop over in Antwerp. And then we're going to go on to the big city Brussels and we were GONNA do New Year's Eve in Brussels so a how to go bruges was fucking magic. It's so freaking adorable. It's so freaking cute. You guys it's covered in canals kind of like the way the Amsterdam is covering canals house. Except for there's just like boats running around and swans and it's just so cute. They're swans everywhere. There's a big town square. There's the uncle of guest burke you can't just assume everybody's seen the movie honey. They have to watch the movie if a listener has watched that movie then they totally get that reference and they really appreciated that okay. Can you explain about the so. There's a park and they have alcoves. I see now why that is not actually as funny as it was in the movie. Anyway there's also who shops Galore all the cutest shops ever. They're all like lease shops and antique shops. Like there's like fifty three lays shops and you can just skip hand in hand into a a little a shop and buy some like embroidered family lace and doilies shed and it's just the cutest and we didn't do it because we're not that adorable personally but the idea that you you can. I really loved and we took that really. Nice Walk in Mine Waterpark. Many water or mini waterpark. How we are butchering every single word to be affair? Belgium has like four languages that they slept together. That's true to a little bit later. Mini waterpark. I'M GONNA go with many water because it's cuter the lovers verse bridge. Do you remember the like the Lake of love story. Nobody why do I feel like it's going to involve death. It does involve that is so sweet so basically there is this young girl all and she had this romantic tryst with some fuck boy. I'm assuming and her dad because at the time like that's who controls the woman's agency anyway. Her Dad was like no. He's a fuck boy and she was like no. He's actually really nice he treats me so well. You don't understand and her dad like ran this dude town and she went and chased after him and I'm pretty sure she died. It don't remember the details but it was awful and now she haunts the leverage bridge. Didn't they like jump off the bridge. Something like that some stupid ass teenage love thing but it's love yeah Real Romantic but the point is if you walk across the levers bridge and don't chase after effect waiting kill yourself you're supposed to have like a like a love. Love Blessing. Speaking of Love Blessing. Can we talk about that hot chocolate high tea that we had. Oh my God that was for me like that's my love story in British. That's your I love language. Yeah Okay because I love high tea like every year on my birthday since I was like probably eight and I was living. Elliot's life in the plaza with my mom. She took me to the plaza when that was eat and was the best Louise Life. I'm still always I really am anyway. I love high tea and we do every year for my birthday. Jeremy Actually makes me a little scones owns every year and he makes little sandwiches cut the crusts off. And it's a really. You're giving me the luck I know I'm romanticizing. But the point is the old chocolate house house is like it's like high tea but make it chocolate. Yeah they serve you piping hot milk and then they give you a bunch of like chocolate shavings and marshmallows. Hello a chocolate cup filled with chocolate chocolate possible. And you can order different kinds of chocolate because Belgium. And they're all like seventy five percent Ecuadorian single origin. Unlike Dushi Booze you chocolate your love and then you melted into this giant bowl of hot milk and just drink it with. There's also like a three tiered thing of like little little Belgian cookies and like God. It's just it's everything's lace and you hit a heart shaped waffle. Oh my God guys. It's the best and so you might be thinking so when you go to bruises all chocolate yes it's all chocolate chocolate lace and swans. That's but the best place to get chocolate other than the chocolate house is the bridal straght them it battles bridal struts now. Now's the German word threats that dropped slots I feel like it's getting worse. Your quarter German husband is screaming. There's two as and you're Mexican. You don't get Sherman Card just because there's a German word. I absolutely do ask anybody okay. All right Bro- strong so on the bridal strut whatever. You're gonNA find a whole bunch of amazing chocolate shops in our favorites in. No particular order are the chocolate line. Dumont be by Steffes Chocolatier and Olivier's is and you can kind of go around like a little bag and just fill it up truffles pralines. Oh my God it's the best I would honestly the first time I saw. I thought its oleanders and I got really really excited. That would be exciting chocolate one. Yeah they didn't have that. Can we talk about beer. Yeah there's so much could be Andrews. So there's a brewery called D Hoffman. Wow who's butchering words. Now we are the travel podcast and we didn't even bother to look at pronunciation. We are the worst. I feel like where you're giving us way less credit than we deserve. Its Hoffman because it's about a half man did just because it looks like that's an easy one their their logo lorraine is yes strut in German. Is Street NOSSA is straightened. Germans like with like the Weird S. God I hope but nobody listening to. This isn't American. It's GonNa be really embarrassing anyway. The half man is an awesome brewery in Belgium. That's really good beer. And you can watch the you can watch the kettles as their brewing it and they have a fire that you can sit by and they had that weird statue Out Front member that Weird Statue of the half man. Yeah I remember that. And he's just like really drunk and I think he liked taking off all his clothes and like just having fun carriage ride are you. Are you thinking of our wedding. No it's the statue off right okay. There's also degar which is another brewery in town but I really love Cambrian ass- I got went there my first night there without because you're really sleepy. Yeah I was like I don't remember them. Just go ahead. So it's a it's a bar that's got incredibly extensive beer list. I think it took let me like thirty minutes to figure out what I wanted to drink. And they keep a bunch of snacks rolling and then they have traditional Belgium. Meets they serve. It was a good time. That's Nice Frio that you know like a little old mandate with yourself to a little meantime. It's Nice I think that was actually probably the most time that we spend apart our entire year long honeymoon. That's gross loved it. Wow I'm just kidding okay. There's also the Burgh Central Plaza where they had the basilica of the Holy Blood Eh where supposedly we didn't actually go inside ourselves to verify because it sounded gross but supposedly there's a vial of Jesus's blood. I bet it's dried at this point. I don't I dunno some. You could probably just drink it you know but apparently yeah they have a vial of Jesus's blood that you can check out or you can't touch the blood or anything but people pray over it and it's pretty metal. It's one of the more metal things in Bruges. Probably the only metal converge everything else is like lace and swans and chocolate. And stow offals. Oh my God I love fruit We went during Christmas time. And so there's this ice rink in the middle of those of the Market Square. Yeah and that's where the Christmas market was too. And then so we were hanging out of the Christmas market like just eating our way through every single stan. And we're watching. She like all these little kids on the ice skating rink and they had a little sleds like they like they're holding onto a little sled shares in just like skating around and it was just the frigging cutest thing like the belfry tower. Our just looming right behind them. Oh my God. It was so cute and Leah's deathly afraid of ice skating so she really wanted to grab one of those kids chairs so that she could go ice skating. It's not that I'm deathly afraid. It's it's that I'm incredibly logical. And I know my own personal limitations I would definitely like severely injure myself savvy. Don't have adult size which I am very you know in Norway. They have sleds. That like you step onto them and you just push off and it's exactly like that and it got to use one in Norway. This is another story unrelated another episode episode about got me sledding and Norway. I really loved watching all of the little carriages go around the market square. Oh my God babe do you remember the Pug I do remember the Pug okay so so. They're not just a pug. It was a pug puppy and it was wearing a little Santa Costume and it was the cutest fucking Shit I have ever seen in my life. He was it's like driving the carriage like such a good boy. His face like he just looked like the crankiest little grumble mafia and he was like. Why am I in a Santa Costume? I hate this but it was so cute you and he was loved. He was so happy because then his owner came back and he was really happy. You guys like ninety percent of our best memories in Bruges where that Pug I'm GonNa be honest the Pug and the chocolate. Luckily that's why we want to go. Yeah but we will definitely be staying in a different place. 'cause I really enjoy the place where we stayed fucking AIRBNB. Yeah it was actually like a nice airbnb like it was really well located. It was just like just nearby everything walking distance to the market really well located and we were really excited because I I had a little kitchen and we were GONNA do like Christmas dinner with ourselves. We're sharing it with like four other people because we were broke off and actually this was a splurge from us because we'd only been doing in hostels up until this point so the fact that we had a private room and there were only like five. Other people in the apartment was really exciting time. We wanted to ball for Christmas. You now it turns out that the entire AIRBNB was really this guy's office no idea what he does but he lives a couple of doors down and the first sign of problems was I think our first tonight or something. We were cooking and we broke a bottle of warchest. Show your however you say that sauce Wurster Wester Sauce. It is not worcester sauce. saw there's like forty seven letters in this word. forty-seven towns in England named Worcester and also one in Massachusetts supposed to believe Massachusetts. That one. I now I was born in Massachusetts. Worcester you can say like Worcester. If that makes you feel about my dad always called it worchester sauce. That's not accurate. Not at right okay. worchester sauce now. Okay now anyway so we had to call him over after we broke the bottle but they were like super cool about it and they were like a you. I'm pretty fucking clumsy. Era should all the time usually. It's not in somebody else's kitchen but gave the guy came over and he was really he was like. Oh it's fine it's cool. It's no problem hindsight inside. He was probably like these fucking American. He was yeah he definitely already hated us. So then it's like Christmas Eve and we've gone like this really cute little we'll butcher and we'd gotten pork belly. I think we looked up like the name for an advanced. Don't remember and we were GonNa GonNa Cook it the Danish way rate with fruit and all spice and all this really great stuff that we had to shop for for that specific meal yes cooked are really amazing Christmas dinner. It was super romantic and we were like. Oh Wow Christmas honeyman while great and then this dude comes home let like two in the morning in the morning. Just like Hi-fi Ah Shit just scream in his fucking head off pounding on our door Christmas and we're like what what's what's up like did what's going on their fire. Here's his first grievance. The House smells like Bacon. Because first of all you're welcome. Yeah no no it. Didn't the kitchen smelled kind of like bacon because we made like delicious Danish pork belly for Christmas dinner. Why are you here at two in the morning on Christmas before the delicious Bacon I can smell has a chance to air out and the second problem that he had was that there was a stain on his coach? which was definitely there when we arrive? 'cause I remember looking at it and being like Oh but also you get what you pay for. And it was a cheap place. But also his evidence circumstantial at Best I. One of the guests was a doctor and he said there's no way it could have been them because he's a doctor. That was the whole argument. Like congratulations but like doctors spill bill shit too. Because we you know broken entire bottle of with juster sauce teammate. Now I can't say it either. So just because he has more schooling doesn't mean that he doesn't have the ability spill something on the couch. Your Dad for instance Super Smart Successful respect to the hell out of him and I see him spill something on every piece of furniture he sits on. That's true. That's that's where I got it. That makes so much sense now and the other person just happened to be this guy's friend and I love my friends but I know which stains on our couch which are from us and which are from our friends can just feel my eyes. Just glare and you're right now. I mean we're getting rid of that couch soon anyway so now but the point is it wasn't us it wasn't it really wasn't we sat on that couch exactly hunts and we didn't have anything to eat or drink on it and then he like when went on this rampage on AIRBNB. He left US nasty review and then we like had to like nasty review him back and then I had to appeal to AIRBNB and be like. I don't want to pay for this dude. You ruined Christmas. Because we spent like the actual day of Christmas. We were just sad and depressed and afraid of getting near the couch and ruined the day of Christmas for us to Airbnb as credit. They responded with essentially. What was your fuck that Guy And then refunded. They helped us out. And we were in Bruges so like Airbnb but then we stepped outside and it was magical Swan Landy. A- with Christmas markets and amazing beer and like awesome waffles and chocolate off. God it's the best way to wake up on Christmas. Yeah whatever that was literally the only negative that we have about Bruce and it's super avoidable. Just don't stay at that specific Airbnb with that specific guy. I really hope that he doesn't actually host on AIRBNB so next Antwerp. Yeah and trump is great. We arrived and we were just like Holy Shit because the the Antwerp torp central station. Like the train station where you arrive. It's supposed to be like the most beautiful train station the world it's straight up just looks like like hogwarts magic land. It really does. It's beautiful you say that most translations in Europe looks like hogwarts and I will. I will corroborate that. This one does. This is a special hogwarts. Do you know that is an actual train station in London even though this is better than that train station. I'm going to say it. It's it's better than hogwarts are you talking. About King's cross or Hogwarts Kings it was filmed in kings crossed cross. It was filmed in kings cross. Yes the train station is cool and all but can we talk about Billy's Beer Cafeteria Aka the best meal that we had an Antwerp orb and also probably our entire honeymoon. So that is honestly like if you're GONNA go to Antwerp. That's that's the only thing that I would suggest doing. That's the only thing that I remember that we did said that was the best thing so billy's is a beer cafeteria. And they have like dozens and dozens of beers that you can choose from and they rotate all the time and they have such amazing food. But it's like this little hole in the wall bar. You'd never assume it's owned by a dog. A dog is owned by a French. bulldog name billy acute if you go to their facebook page his picture of him and he's in the logo he's Qisas cues the pug and the Santa Costume and bruised. But he's real cute. Rumor has that billy like literally early is the owner. They registered it in his name. Yeah but my favorite thing. I mean that was discovered the Rosenbach two thousand fourteen which is one of my favorite Belgian Beers. Also one of the only appears that I know by name which impressive but my favorite thing there was that fricken Sour Cherry casserole yeah it was like beef and Sour Cherries and potatoes. And she's which sounds disgusting like the food that you'd make like late at night when you're high but it's so good. Thought you liked by surprise. Oh honey just because we we live in California all right it was really good. I think we wanted seconds even though we were like bursting at the seams. Oh my God yes definitely go to answer just to go there and if you do ugo stay at compass hostile. That's where we stayed and it was really frigging Q.. Yeah they had chickens that you named daisy and Petunia directly. I'm I yeah so that was the first hostile that we ever worked with because at the time our blog was a mere six months old so I was really excited when they agreed to host for like three days like we saved a whole hundred hundred dollars I was over the moon and I had this whole feature on our blog post about these adorable chickens named daisy and Petunia and when I sent to the the very nice owner he assured me at that was not their name. They are not named that but I don't think he named them on my blog post they are definitely called daisy and Petunia. And I'm standing by. That's what they looked like. So it's a converted house so it has that that really homey social feel which sometimes it's really irritating in a hostile especially if you feel the need to but for some reason Cosso it was so laid back and maybe that's just like the Belgian and it was really nice small hostile though because we didn't have that in. Oslo said it in Brussels teeny tiny little kitchen for everybody to cook in one table for everybody to sit at. And so you end up with these cool family sil- meals where everybody's just like sitting around the table and chatting about where they've come from and like just drinking and hanging out and honestly honestly like that's what I love about hostels vibes like that and this hostile had it when I loved it chilly. Oh Okay Cats California's stereotype number the two and like three minutes. Just so you know the owners are really cool they were like backpackers and we like chatted about backing through South America which made us feel really cool because we had just done that and it was the first time that we had that cred to brag about well. That was the whole reason you opened the hostile. Yeah because backpackers hostels. I want to open a hostile strew. HASHTAG goals it. Yeah it's also like a green hostile echo certified in the Walzer Tan. Odd Stop Stop. I'm not laughing. It's not a funny joke. Somebody's laughing now. The point is Cobb is awesome. Awesome the only downside is. It's a little bit far away from the town center so we had to like walk like or take a bus. It's like a twenty minute minute. Walk to Billy's and that's all that matters all the matters but the rest of the injured was cool. We did spend a day exploring and eating. We went to the Christmas market and the crisis. So go ahead like a really unique feature. It was on the water and they had like a waterfront carnival which is new. That was cool and we had you remember the liquor filled old hand cookies. You Look Sir. Yes it's called Elixir Denver's yes it's an Antwerp liqueur the core you can only get it. Actually I don't know if that's true but anyway it's antibes specialty definitely get it in Antwerp. It's essentially like the taste is like an absent cream cream. Chocolate sounds gross. Well you can get it just in drinks and cocktails but we had it inside of a chocolate shaped like a hand because that is the symbol of Antwerp and this is actually an interesting little like an torpey in fact hit us with it so the legend goes there is a giant called drew through on anti gone and guarded the river Scheldt in Antwerp. Got All those words are GONNA be super wrong anyway. So sealers would go down the river and if they refused to pay the giants it's toll. He would chop off one of their hands so one day. A brave Roman soldier battled and killed the giant and then he chopped off the giant's hand and like shouted full Q.. Hari back motherfucker and through his hand in the river and that's where the Dutch term because at the time Belgian Dutch the Dutch term for that is handler. A hand weapon which is throw a hand and eventually through mispronunciations from assholes like me handwork became antwerpen been which became Antwerp. And that's how you got the hand as a symbol of Antwerp. So the famous intra pans biscuits have have existed. Since one thousand nine hundred eighty four so somebody had like a competition to create the culinary speciality for Antwerp and. I have no idea why Sour Cherry. She's casseroles didn't win. But the hand shaped almond cookies did win because almond cookies are the best. They are really good and today they actually have a chocolate probably inversion in which is filled with Marzipan and Elixir. And that's what we had. So yeah the Elixir. Is this botanical. That tastes like licorice. If you're familiar with like the taste of absinthe and so it's that with Marzipan covered in chocolate. It's amazing it actually is like super frigging delicious like I was. I was a little skeptical. Its its bomb because that it is bomb. You don't really like the taste of absence. Liquor likes the taste of absent. You drink it because it makes you see things. Okay Moulin Rouge it's true. It's just tastes like Licorice Josh. Okay it's it's just that's just go to Antwerp in eat casserole and have a have a hand. I will say. We haven't talked about this yet but Belgium Was the first place that I realized that fucking love Marzipan well so good thing in the states. It's like a very European thing and I don't know why is it's fucking delicious. In the states we choose like font. Gross Marzipan yeah definitely so after we moved to the big city battles Brussels. Brussels is fine because so the we're kind of in my head the picture of Brussels that I see is the grand place and it is sustainable. Russell's it's like the main square. It's very grand. It is the most grand. Every single side of the grand. Grand`place is more grand than the other sides and that is how the architecture came to be. You know it's actually by design so I'm bit of architecture so while in the grand plus you can kind kind of see all of Belgian history. So there's a reason why. Belgium uses four languages. They've always been at the mercy of Europe's larger monarchy's he's passed back and forth. Play thing that nobody really wants to share. So they've been conquered by the Netherlands France by Spain Austria even Luxembourg Berg got in the action which is really not one of the major monarchies. Just I don't know how that happened. It was a weird time so eventually Belgium won its independence in the eighteen thirties. And and since given everyone the finger by making Brussels the capital of both NATO and the EU and there is this whole problematic thing with King Leopold and colonization and. We won't get into of that here. It was a dark time but the point is Belgian how to come up and that's why there are like fifty seven different kinds of buildings all fighting for the most fabulous this building award in one single square. The GRANDPA's yeah like every single kind of architecture is represented there. You look around and it's like this side is gothic and then this side over here here is do you really only know gothic only no gothic. I was hoping you would just jump in Rococo Romanneh's there's I think Moroccan in there somewhere now no now now Luxembourg Morocco. But basically if you stand in the middle of GRANDPA's and just do like a three sixty. You're going need to see pretty much. Every architectural type from like the fifteen hundreds onto eighteen thirties. which is cool if you're an architecture nerd but what I thought was fascinating? Is that sometimes. One half of the building didn't match up to the other half of the building like I think like the king switched midway through and just like had the old architects beheaded and just like brought in his new architect and the new architect was just like. I don't know what to do with these windows. So we're just going to put a wall here and you wouldn't even like really notice us but we had a guide and they're pointing everything out and it's it's real wacky. One of the coolest thing about things about gothic architecture is it's not just the it's not just the pointed arches but it's it's also just the symmetry through everything but if you stand right in the middle of the GOTHIC building of the grand plus. It looks like somebody just tried to draw one half of it to imitate it. There's like different sized windows. They're the columns just end all of a sudden. It's kind of like you know that place near us like like in San Jose where that woman was told that if she just kept building things that ghost wouldn't get her winchester mystery house. Yeah it's like. The Winchester Mystery House but gothic architecture is dope. It's it's pretty metal. It's pretty awesome. So the grand place is gorgeous. It's like just the ridiculous in every way and something else. That was really cool that we notice when we were there is that there's all these different street signs like every street in Brussels has two different signs because there's like the fancy name from like the French when the French were in charge and then there's just like the Sassy name from Lake when the judge were in charge like for example. There's like the Kings may as all and then later on they renamed the exact same building the bread house because some Dutch people came along and they were like the king didn't live here. This was just some dude selling bread. So we're GONNA going to call it the bread house because we're Dutch and everything has like five names adding that's really cool. Yeah there's like rude and it's like the judge version is long street Yeah yeah yeah accurate but that was really cool. So Brussels is just like a cool like melting pot of all these different cultures and we're talking about architecture. My favorite in Brussels is Art Nouveau. Which Brussels is the birthplace of art? Nouveau fun fact. Thanks Belgium. You're pretty Rad again. We talk about some fucking beer. Yes okay yeah sorry sorry. Too much architecture not enough beer. The Art teacher over here saying we're beer. Let's let's talk about the history of beer just so we can nerd out about it. Okay so so when you think of a brewer you probably think somebody in flannel with a beard and like a tiny little beanie who's always talking about hops and you're saying hotter describing yourself herself you just described. You never talked about hops. Are you kidding me. But if we're really talking the true brewer it's a monk monk's the. Oj brewers facts so long ago it was rare to be literate and monks were able to read and write which allowed them to create recipes and pass them down and right the Bible or read the Bible or whatever they were doing okay. Nobody case beer. Monks were able to do. They were able to practice writing down recipes for beer and nobody else else could do it. So monks didn't originate in Belgium. They came to Belgium because they were seeking. Persecution and Belgium has long been a safe haven for those seeking persecution because like every five years. There's a new king so like if you're fleeing you're king just go to Belgium wait for five years. There's a new king. You're good rate. So monks came to Belgian seeking persecution too to and they brought with them all of these recipes that they developed for beer fleeing persecution. That's what I sat and seeking. That's very different very different. Different message. No not what they were seeking anyway so all these like a hipster ass like flannel wearing monks. Thanks flew to Belgium and at the time. Yeah robes or flannel a little monk with a flannel aerobic writing writing a fix what's sick sour. Cherries and beer. He's got he's got his little bald spot and the top of his head. But it's like a tattoo of like a spiderweb and he's allegheny but there's like a circle cut out of the top versatile bald spot. It's the God whole whatever. The whatever the point of that God the whole waiver God to get his message to you come holy not tagged I bet somebody did. It's definitely not true. The whole title for a metal band from Belgium. The God whole Brown Internet is that metal to you. That sounded like that sounded like bluegrass the hill so back in the day you couldn't actually like drink. Water kill you you would just get some sort of horrible Colorado and you just die right so water was super unsafe but here in it yet beers good beers fine bureau day. You're fine feeling good hydrated. Happy you know. Even kids will drink beer. They would water down kind of like a bud light and just give it to kids so there is an adult beer and like kid beer and nobody died and it was great so eventually people just kind of made this link between like monks like drinking beer not dying and divinity and boom. That's why beer is holy. So so if you're a fan of beer you've definitely heard of the term a trappist hopefully hopefully there are eleven. Trappist breweries in the entire world and Belgium has six and I don't even care what the other ones are. Because because Belgians are the best so the trap is number one is that a beer is not a trappist beer unless it is brewed inside a working monastery and it can't just be like a monastery front I don't like it can't just be a bunch of people like dressed up like monks because it's cool looking. They actually have to be like doing monthly things. They call that a trap ish stop. It's actually just a trap like a tourist trap get it babe like a tourist Trappist mine was mine was so much better so travis beers so but do you get all trappist beer. Prophets must return directly directly to the monastery or be donated to sharing. Yeah that's why nobody's starting like actual monasteries to make beer like nobody's like eighty we're an American Trappist monastery a beer. No they're like Trappist style because they don't actually want to donate all of their money to charity because that's no fun. It's only a monk in which case making beer is its own reward. They don't need the money they're not in it for the money. They're not sellouts beer and social responsibility. It's Great Combo. That is a great Hambo. Those all a bunch of like weird rules rules about Belgian beer like you can't just like crack open a cold wine in Belgium in fact if you did you make kicked out of the bar crooked cold one with the boys you can't. You can't do it. I'm not getting Steve All right anyway. You can't do it in Belgium so so first of all. They have like nine step ridiculous. Pouring process called the Belgian pouring ritual. And they're all sort of like vaguely religious just in its purpose when you because monks. Yeah when you sort of like wipe the foam off the top of the glass. It's called the beheading. Yeah and you have to have like a solid two fingers of foam. So if you're ever here trying to like port on the side of the glass that you don't get foam. You're an idiot. That's not how you do it. In Belgium in Belgium the Foamy head protects the beer from the air and keeps it from going flat and stale. So you have fizzy beer. Until the very last SIP foam is the best dip the of the glass and water to wash off if the Serbs and they call it the baptism. It's a whole. It's a whole thing. You also don't want to have Belgian beer from a tap. It's actually when it's in the bottle because it's still in brewing in the bottle like a super unfiltered. It's still got the yeast in there and when you crack open the bottle. It's still all fizzy. You don't WanNa have it like in a tap where all these it has died. That's still fermenting. Until the moment you drink it right and you also don't want to have it cold. You WanNa have slightly below room temperature and that's really kind of like a taste thing like the the warmer it gets the more complexities you unlock the other really. Cool thing about Belgian beer is that when you brew beer in Belgium you also have to come up with its own special glass and the glasses sort of like a marketing ploy. It is like it's it's used for advertisement like you're not gonNA see like a Trappist I billboard rate they use the actual glass for advertisement Yelich. We saw one that looked like a horn and it wasn't the best beer but it was a really cool looking glass and I wanted to to order Casaus. Somebody else and I was like. I'll have what he's having. Please thank you. I would like to drink out of a glass horn. Please and the best one I think quack quack quack. Beer is served in this weird weird like chemistry lab looking glass thing that comes in like a weird looking wooden frame and it looks bomb. It looks like a beaker is the word you're looking for chemistry lab look thing yes speaker speaker. Correct link you. The point is the reason why it looks like that is because the guy who invented quack beer made that stand for beer so that he could hold it and drive his carriage drunk without spilling his beer which I called genius so I mean. It's very unsafe strong driving proof but why would you want that. I mean to me though that is the definition of Belgium. Right there just you know. Necessity is the mother of bad inventions. But like that's awesome you he now so you can't talk about Belgian beer without talking about the literal King of Beers. I know that some like coors or Budweiser Causes Those Beers. This is rated the best beer on the entire planet and has been since Nineteen ninety-six. That's true and it is veteran. Twelve spelled West veteran. But it's pronounced vest veteran twelve off when you buy this. Of course it's a bottle because Belgium but it's an unlabeled bottle. It's just a glass bottle you've got to be in the know you gotTa know somebody who knows somebody who told you you gotTa Get Best West veteran twelve. It's fluttering. It's not that hard anyway. If somebody just like POPs out from like an alley where I go public costume and tells you to like try this unmarked. Spear try it unless you're not in Belgium that would be weird anywhere else in the world so you can get it at different bars but if you want to get some from the monastery it's it's a whole thing so you have to make a reservation months in advance and you get to options for your orders. None or two cases uses leave a lot of suitcase room like two suitcases. Just for your beer. You can also pay a huge upcharges places in Belgium that serve it so it's really expensive. If you just like order at a bar or buy it at like a store would you can. You can find it in stories around Brussels and it's like about twenty euros but it's honestly all it's worth the hype it's a quad so if you guys are familiar with that it means. It's a very strong Belgian beer. We won't get into the science of quads strong. Hell dark it smells like figs and raisins and it kind of tastes like wine soaked figs but then like as you're drinking and it changes and then it's like would and then it's like earthy yeast and then it's like marshmallow and then it's like Bourbon and I know I sound sound like such an asshole but like just sit there and just sip it for like an hour and like you you can't taste the nuances there. Literally they're not even that nuanced. They're they're literally every drink like every time we took a drink it tasted differently and we are not that good tasting tasting notes but this was just new new magic every time you lifted that. Yeah we sat there for an hour being like. Oh yes the essence of marshmallow on now. It's burnt marshmallow on that last note. It was the do. She's so you're saying but like y'all we were converted like I was hooked that actually that made me a beer person but only Belgian beer. I don't drink any other beer. You are so insufferable with beer now because because you had the world's greatest beer and you're like you're just you're just waking scratch that it I can't have anything else. It has ruined beer for me but if you want to try it and you absolutely should. It's worth a trip The cheapest place that you can get it in. Brussels is a bar called tune. It's only twelve euros at tune in tune is like doc. It's kind of a triple on. It's own it's just a bar you're really glossing over this it's a puppet theatre. Yeah it's a puppet Bar Theater you WanNa talk about what yeah. This is actually like an interesting historical thing. So puppets are actually a really interesting and important part of the history of Brussels so we're talking about how like every couple of years. There's there's a new king one of them was really insecure and he was like people are making fun of me. I know people are making fun of me. I can see them like stick ring when they're watching their plays and they're stupid little theater productions. They're making fun of me and I knew it so he banned theater just like Fuck Theater. Nobody can ever talk about me please. No more place. He hated actors. Also weird facts about him so everybody was like you know what we were making fun of you you dick but since we have no outlet now to make fun of you what about puppets. Let's wait. You're saying that there was a leader of a country. Who hated people talking about him so they had puppets they were like? You can't get rid of puppets pop surfer kids. What about the children? What will the children do for fun? The children so the king was like all right. You can have your weird as fucking puppets. I guess because every every ten years of Kim gets beheaded so I don't WanNa be the next one so they develop these like body Raunchy political puppet theaters and then hit those puppet puppet theatre play slash bars down these dark alleys kinda like hidden away like if you if you see a dark alley Belgium. Just go down it because there will be some awesome historical historical bar at the end of it and so if a kings lake henchmen happened to wander into it they would just be like. Oh we were just talking about farm animals. We love of children's stuff way. Nothing political here on that was how basically people got their political commentary out like that was that was political dissension in the form of puppets and two and is the only one that's left it's like one of the Oh gee puppet theatre like revolutionary bars in Belgium. Yeah they still put on shows too. I'M UH-HUH BAD ASS history published creepiest. Fuck they are so creepy just hanging from the ceiling. They all look like they're just dead and just waiting to just chuck his bride at Hugh and Oh God. It's really creepy Annabel nightmares. But it's like helical to sit there and just look it creepy hanging puppets and drink westwater and it's a it's an inch it's unique. You can only do in Belgium. Just you know it's weird. Belgian beers are not all just the Trappist style of like the blonde. Double triple quadruple rupaul. Either they also have Lennox. I Love Lamb Beck so lambert's are made using what's called spontaneous fermentation meaning. No sugar or yeast is added to start the fermentation process versus instead. It's all microbes in the air and so they basically just throw open. The windows of the brewery opened up the vets and let Mother Nature. Take your course and you you know like I tried this once with like some bread and some water and nothing happens. We don't have the right east here in. Our kitchen. Smells Weird Yeah. I think that's all you got kicked out. We didn't get kicked out but we are moving irving anyway yes. So that's hilarious has made and actually what they do. Is they throw in these like Belgian Sour Cherries which is a very unique to Belgian thing also same Sour Cherries that were in our tour. Casserole they just toss him into the beer and so when they throw those cherries in that Lasik gets known as a Greek and there's like Raspberry Olympics and all kinds of different ones and it's it's not like sugar. It's not like a sugary kind of thing like it's often very sour tastes more like a sour. But like they're just they're really good drinking Sour Cherry Soda. You know what I mean. It's elegant so for those of you. Who are listening in your like? That's cool. I know nothing about beer. We didn't either. All I knew was the beers I liked and the beers that I didn't like but we went on a beer tour with global enterprises. Yeah we learn all about the air because we spent like four our just drinking beer and then we went on a beer and chocolate tour with the Brussels journey so we got like a two for one which is why we're really nerdy now about both chocolate and beer. They're awesome tours. We've got write ups for both on our site and there are a lot of fun and we learn like all about weird Belgian history and weird Belgian humor and honestly. We would've missed all of that if it weren't for there are tour guides pointing it out like Belgium. Is Hella weird like it's really weird. We didn't realize this and one of the weirdest things and if you were to like Google Belgium or Google Brussels. There's probably going to be a picture of a boy. Peeing that's the famous Mannequin Piss. I wish that wasn't the name name because I don't want to say it because the whole thing kind of me out honestly like before I went I was like. That's that's the downside like I I know you have to. It's like going to the Paris and not seeing awful tower. You have to go to the Manneken pis when you're in Brussels but like krause including the Paris right. No no I said whatever whatever anyway the point is it's a weird it's a weird icon rate. So we were just like why like what's the deal. Why does it exist vest and it turns out? Nobody knows it wasn't just us. It was not. There's not a true story about it. There's no answer. Nobody knows there's a fucking little boy peeing in the middle of Brussels. There's but there are a bunch of weird Belgian myths and legends which I find super cool so one of them for instance was that the Belgian army on the front lines of a battle and they were about to lose and everybody at Lowe's spirits and they were looking on their enemies and they knew that they were about to face death but then this boy ran out to the enemy me and just like that seen in braveheart. He took his pants down and just started. PNN them. y'All there's going to be a lot of pe- in this action. I'm sorry I promise. There is a like a payoff of some kind but anyway just like in braveheart they were like Oh hell yeah. And then they were like browsed up and they just went and won the battle. Yeah because you know. Peeing is the ultimate sign of male fortitude. And I don't know why they're so into it but for whatever reason can we unpack that story though. Why was was there a toddler on the front lines? Maybe his dad had us taking care on that day. 'cause it you bring your son to Battle Day. Yeah you don't know there's there's another one that I that is sort of similar. There's a fire threatening to destroy Brussels so this heroic toddler who apparently nobody was watching just kind of ran out and just peed on the flames and save the city. And I don't know like like I have questions for that one to like a WHO's watching this fucking toddler be was it just like the world's tiniest because that doesn't seem like it would be possible or was he just like. Did you drink a lot of water that day like you know or was it just like everybody saw all that followed suit and they were like gross gross. That's my least favorite one. This is this is another one similar. There is a stick of dynamite for whatever reason about to destroy the city and this fucking hero. Toddler presumably wearing some kind of like ultra cool nineteenth century entry. James Bond spy outfit just like peed on the dynamite and put it out. That one seems the most ridiculous to me. This one actually seems the most realistic if farm. Honest yeah this one. I got when I got so there is a witch and she was really sick of just constantly being like bothered by having to like have have little toddlers run out and start peeing on stuff like probably she had some bad ass plans that he kept thwarting or something or maybe she was just like you know what who's watching you stop heating on things things that's gross and she turned into stone and then in his final act of Toddler Ping revenge the statute to and everything was just be forever. I don't know why I don't know why there's so much P in this. This is the closest thing. Obviously the most true Yup definitely 'cause like hearing the story. I just want to like throw some little white toddlers NGO. NJIT fucking well. Maybe I'm a witch in the story that actually that statue now that it's like famous Inspired different artists to build statues so in a bid to be more like have more gender equality. I guess somebody somebody made a statue of a girl peeing and it's outside of the famous delirium cafe. Yeah 'cause like why you all of those stories you know. Girls Girls can peon stuff to we could appeared on some dynamite. You know but then some some now some dude who is like fuck gender-equality. He made a dog peeing so that he was on his way of putting a finger up to the girl statue. Yeah that's the worst part of the story to me and I'm like where's that and I'm just like where's the cat. WHO's making that statue? So basically there's just like things peeing all over Belgium and honestly like I thought it was super weird and gross but like hearing all these weird stories and then learning that like it's like kind of like inside joke like it's like this weird quirky little statute that nobody in Brussels quite knows where it came from like. Who made it? Why does it exist? Why is it here? Why is it peeing? Why is everything p like the fact that nobody knows and they just like made up a bunch of random stories to answer it? I thought it was kind of cute. And then the other thing that I thought was kind of cute. They like they dress it up in little outfits they do they like make little outfits for it and he gets a little outfit every month he puts like a little Santa Claus outfit outfit on every Christmas. But it still has to pee so we'll just end. That thought there they have like they all have like these little holes in the front. But it's like he said in that thought there the point is is he has hundreds of little tiny outfits and there's a whole museum for them which will get into in a second but he's actually. It's a really cool example of just like the Weird Quirky Belgian sense of humor. Like did to me that encapsulates it just the weirdest sense of humor and I love it. One of the other cool things about earning is funny. Things about the Manneken pis is that people have tried to steal it. Yeah it's been involved in these Carmen Sandiego style capers. So the real oh man pistachios like in some use iem somewhere. Nobody cares but it's just been stolen so many times but anyway I want to get back to the weird museums. Because that's actually one of my favorite great things about Brussels. There are so many weird museums and we don't have nearly enough time on this episode to highlight all the museums. But we mentioned the Manneken Pis Outfit Museum so there are a hundred and eight museums in Brussels. There are so many but we don't have time to get an into all of them. We're just GONNA talk about like the weirdest one and some of them. Some of them are just Halloween. Lewitt like it starts on normal like there's like mini Europe and the and those are like what you'll find top ten coolest museums whatever which are also. It's really cool to certify. They're fine then. It gets into alike slightly quirky. There's like move which is like the Museum of original figurines which is just like tiny little cool characters like the smurfs which are from Belgian and like tiny little settings settings and like. Okay that's cute. Then there's the manneken pis like wardrobe which is a little weird and then there's the international puppet museum which creepy but like history. Google Goeldi Museum. If you want to see things that are not a pipe. Yeah so yeah. He's a Sassy surrealist Papa. You'd like to toss out names like people. I know. Everyone knows that painting that this is not a pipe. It's like one of the most pretentious if you say this is not a pipe but nobody's like oh Agreed we flew in Brussels. Anyway Sassy surrealist Shit is helical then. There's the art and Marge Museum which is like outsider art from artists that are outside of the mainstream so like differently abled mentally challenged basically just taking everything you thought you knew about art and just like turning it on its head which I think is awesome. There's a clock area M- which is just a museum of Art Adecco clocks that's awesome. That's the best thing I love. How Art Deco and Art Nouveau Brussels is but you can only actually tore the clock area on Sundays at exactly ackley three five PM? And if you don't speak French too bad then there's the sewers museum I heard it was Kinda shitty. Well we're GONNA move right along. Then there's the Belgian Museum of Freemasonry Jason Ry. Because I had this weird theory that like actually Brussels is just like the center of Alumina which we won't get into here because this whole thing it's on it's on the blog. Check it out then. There is the Museum of the Black Sisters which is totally unrelated to like the African American Diaspora or the African Diaspora Actually it's about nines in the the black plague which is Super Rad. But it's only open for two hours a week on Wednesdays which I find suspicious very sauce. Then there's the museum of fantastic art although no it's no this one's better because the description says fantastical bizarre and weird creations sculptures and pictures. And then if you just keep like just diving into the website all it says is fantastic. History of the Bio Synthesis Works of Professor Faster D. Who The fuck is Professor D? What the fuck is by this? I don't care. I don't know why we didn't go to this museum. I have to go back. I have so many questions like I need to know. Then there's the I think this one might be my favorite. There's the spontaneous art museum and I was really hoping that this would just be like a museum full of people just like spontaneously bursting into like fits of song and dance or painting or whatever. But it's not but it's really interesting. Basically it's like a this is what it is described as a building journey through non-conventional art forms warm and then a bunch of like weird shit about how Sassy does. Actually I lied. My favorite is the museum of fantastic art. That's my final answer. I really like the idea. There's a museum of bookbinding which there is yeah and it turns out. There's a lot of like weird temporary offbeat museums to like the Museum of underwear and the Museum of cats. Used to be a thing but they're now closed. I which I find sad but yeah you could spend just like the entire time the in Brussels going to weird fucking museums. We tried to spend a whole day doing it. We didn't even make a dent now. Yeah it was awesome. We are in Brussels for New Year's Eve and it they have like a celebration is so big olive. GRANDPA was just it. We're not just trying to be cool. It was it was lit. It was very bright. He was very bright. We could see it all the way from our hostile two miles away where we never left. We didn't actually go outside. We are really old and really lame even on our honeymoon. It's true and we were hoping that we would have a little. We would have the dorm room to ourselves. Potatoes one other guy. He has somebody we were just like we. Nobody else can possibly be as lame as US staying on New Year's Eve but there was and we kept just like passive aggressively waiting for him to leave and he was passive aggressively waiting for us to leave and it was. It was really awkward. He was the only person in that entire term with us. It was very uncomfortable. We never talked to him once. Yeah so that was like not our best New Year's Eve which is fine. That's fine the rest of Brussels those made up for it but we were so surprised by like how much we ended up loving Belgium. Absolutely like I said we started this whole thing saying like they're going to have good beer good chocolate while the fries the waffles. I might meet junk log band Dan. Our just like you guys don't understand like the chocolate and beer have now ruined chocolate and beer for us us forever same with fries and fucking waffles and like we didn't talk about the stew. Oh my God. There's so many good students and like muscles and we didn't talk about speculation loose cuckoo Holy Holy Shit Spike. You lose cookies and like weird history and West letter and like we just go on forever like we say Belgium around us will just like rant at you for like three hours worse. How long is this podcast? Is it three hours. Feels like it was three hours. I'm not kidding whenever anybody mentions any of those things that we mentioned stew or chocolate or whatever or Belgium I have to grab grabbed his arm and be like today like seventy will be like. I tried this really good beer the other day you have you know it's so good y'all should really go. I think Belgium is highly underrated. It really is. It's one of the few countries that I'm just like really itching to go back to most times. I'm like yeah. It was really great and I have that memory but now Belgium. I'm like I have not gained enough weight. Do you think that postal has this tiny Santo costume. Yeah me too big for it like like a grownup Santa Costume Anyway. I hope you guys enjoy hearing us. Talk about Belgian. I want to know from you guys. Where what what places have surprised you? Where did I do think that you were going to be like? I was just going to be okay. And then you're like floored by what places have ruined other foods for you. Who have turned you into a food SNOB when previously? You were just like. I don't really do that. I don't really drink beer. Let us know you can tweet your responses practical wander you can. DM On instagram at practical wanderlust. Yeah we'll so you guys next time Yeah mm-hmm.

Belgium Brussels Bruges Kings Antwerp Europe Jean Claude van Damme John Cla Colin Farrell AIRBNB Jong Van Damme South America Jeremy John Claude van Damme Bruce Ginger Swan Ginger Swan Bruges Bruce South America Jackson
Bonus Episode: Chong Li Q&A

Villains

27:20 min | 2 years ago

Bonus Episode: Chong Li Q&A

"Hey, it's Kelly. Welcome to the ringer podcast network. Tra- detective is back and the ringers Chris Ryan and Jason Concepcion are guides as you navigate the twisting pathways of season, three's plots themes and characters on the flat circle a true detective after show follow Jason. And Chris as they chase down leads export each episode's, cultural context and discussed true crime cases that mirror the ones in the show. Join the guys live every Sunday night after true detective on the ringers YouTube, Twitter and Facebook pages. This is the last bonus episode of villains. I'm very sad that I have to say that CARA. Can you play a clip for us here? Can you please give us like twenty seconds of a baby? Crying just to get us all in the mood. Twenty seconds of baby crying. Thank you care. There. It is. Thank you crying, baby. That's how I feel too. Let's. I probably shouldn't tell you all this. But normally when asked at a play clip she plays like she just gets clip off the internet. But for this one she actually found a baby in the street, and then she pinched it and is. Let's get into the questions about Chongli. First question. My name's Rick New York. I got a question for you regarding a three villains in blood sport. I think boxer and cyborg that one of the greatest runs ever ah villains in movies history for me child. Those guys scare the crap at especially from cyborg. Well, let's go man podcast. Awesome. Reporters into take care. So you're talking about the string of villains at drawn Claude van Damme had to stare down in the late eighties. He had Chong leeann blitz sport. Which we of course, we talked about he had finger tra- Molo in cyborg the guy, you mentioned tongue kickboxer that's tough. That's tough threesome real quick two things here. Number one, the guy who played Fender cyborg that main bad guys the same person who played war child and point break, which I did not realize until I recently watched cyborg which is I it's a good movie and a bad movie. It's like somewhere right in between. I'm not all the way certain number to a question. I got about two hundred times after the wrong Lee episode came out with who would win in a fight between Chongli and Tonko and was wild. Is that fight actually already happened? The guy in bloodsport who fights Chongli and gets his leg. Broken Desa guy who plays Hong PO in kickboxer, they just fucked and put a lot of makeup on him too. Try to make him look like he was from Thailand. I guess they couldn't find any people from Thailand to play tung-po while they were filming in Thailand. It don't seem that hard to find a Thai person in Thailand. I don't know. I don't know what sort of obstacles they were dealing with probably racism. But yes to your question sorry to your question. That's a great run villains for someone who have to fight. You can even stretch it out further because after kickboxer John club dam was in Lionheart, and he had to fight a tiller the Hon. Their Lionheart has another underground tournament of fighters. He fought a tiller the hunting that after that movie. He was in death warrant. He fought the Sandman there. And then after that, he did double impact and Chongli is in now when to accept his name is moon in that one the clothes, you can probably get to matching that run is when rocky had to fight Apollo creed. And rocky too thin clever laying and rocky three and then Yvonne Drago and rocky four. Another good one is when the fasten of fears getting had a battle the rock and fast five and then Owen Shaw's crew in fast and furious. Six and then Decca trawl and furious. Seven B, that's great. That's a great stretch of villains. Next question. Hey, Eric here from New Jersey love the show when it's no what you thought about the African fighter in the matai. Just, you know, eighty eight when I saw it really didn't matter, but kinda now kinda brings lightly racist. When is get your your thoughts on and after my rebutted, just kind of felt the kind of criminals you moment, there's just when he was fighting in the whole key style. So looking forward to particularly here your answer here on the air, take care. Bye. Yeah. I can't I can't figure that were they remaking Bush for today. They go with the black fighter fighting in a monkey style. Conclude kind of way that part's bad. They're showing all of the fighters getting ready for the tournament. And he's just chopping coconut in half with his bare hand in a tree. That's tough. That's tough part. I remember we re watching this as a kid and being taken in by the Pokka character. I know that Pokka is not exactly Mexican in the movie, but he was close enough for me to be a little bit excited about it. I even started doing the thing that he does where he holds his hands up in front of him. Like, he's riding sons of anarchy motorcycle. I would do that. When we would pretend to fight, man. I miss sons of anarchy CARA, can you play clip of sons of anarchy for me. Can you play a thing where it's just a bunch of the characters from the show saying some version of Jesus Christ over and over again, let's say one of my favorite little little silly things that happens and sons of anarchy they all say, can you give us thirty seconds of characters from sons of anarchy saying version of Jesus Christ Jesus Christ. Jesus man Jesus Christ. I go should more than human. Christ put that deform nutbag away with you. She's Christ mom for Christ's sake. Stop cleaning, Bobby Jesus. What are you doing here? Today's the phrase. Geez. It's american. I suggest you turn to Jesus. Jeez christ. That's perfect. Thanks care. Next question. This is angel from Austin and. The whole season was wondering my question is whether it be acuity tournament style or like an anchorman all free fall. What happens when these feelings go up against each other going back all the way to start if and we've asked this question all season. So what you will maybe like most every villain experts in their own abilities. But tell me what you think, thanks. Okay. So we picked villains based on categories, right? There was a horror movie villain. There was the animated movie Vail in there with a gangster movie villain. We were just sort of plugging in those pieces on and on and on like that. And they were all dangerous for very specific reasons. And in very exact ways for the scenario that you're presenting here. That's the thing. That would definitely be tilted in Chongli favor. If you're saying, okay, let's take all of the villains from season one. And let's ranged him into a coma day where they're all going to fight each other. That said I don't think he would win. He would crush almost everybody for sure he would demolish Hannibal Hannibal would walk onto the mat? And try to do the thing where he's talking to you try and like talk you into giving yourself up or losing the fight. But that doesn't work with Charlie. It'd be like trying to talk your way out of being attacked by great white shark. You could present a very compelling case and really zoom in on the sharks psychoses and. All of that. But when you're done the shark is just going to say like your I mean, that's interesting when I'm just gonna fucking bite your legs off now. So hannibal's out his skills. Don't translate here. Same with Amy done. Reagan even Nino inter Nesto, and Regina like Chongli is walking through all of those people. But you know, who he loses to in this fight. He loses to kill monger, Chongli wasn't the best fighter. We saw that on at least two occasions. We saw that when he was fighting Ray. And when he was fighting Frank it wasn't that. He was just like this master of martial arts. He was just willing to do what the other guy wasn't. That's why he want. That's why he was so terrifying. But if you line him up against kill monger, suddenly he's I'd I with a guy who doesn't have any problem shooting his own girlfriend in the head because she's become an inconvenience or choking an old woman because she's questioned questioning or throwing a guy off of a cliff just to prove a point. Kill mongers walking out of our villain specific humidity. As the new champion he has too much for Chung lead overcome. He's a more skilled fighter, and he is at least as mean as Chongli as Chongli losing again. Sorry to say. Next question. Shea. Would you agree that van Damme's? Best movie is either blood sport or double impact. Bolo young is the villain in both. There's no way that's a coincidence. Is there is this evidence that the villain makes the movie green my season two already? This is Marco from Albany. I agree with two of the three things that you mentioned here Markle from Albany. I agree that blood sport is van Damme's best movie. Yes. And I agree that in many cases, the villain makes the movie that's sort of the entire point of this podcast. That's what we've been talking about this. What we've been discussing the villain is oftentimes more. Interesting more compelling. A more intricately written character than the hero. Because there's so much stuff that has to go into it. So I do agree with those two points. What I do not agree with you on is that double impact is the other contender for van Damme's best movie. Although that does help sort of prove a different point here when you have an action movie star, you have to have a one movie that everybody recognizes brilliant. And then you have to have some other ones that you can argue might be as brilliant or might secretly be better than now. Unlike with Stallone, you could say rocky four is the best action movie he's ever done. And then you've got some other ones that you can throw in there too. Like Rambo, of course, was worsening or you could be like, oh terminators the best action movie you've ever done or what about predator what about Terminator two. Like, you need those other ones in there with Vandamme his got five. Great movies blood sport is is the the hands down best after that. It's kickboxer where he battles tung-po. Third-places Lionheart a very underrated movie. It's another one of those underground and legal fighting tournament things. And that's where he battles Attila the hun that we talked about. I think you have to put Lionheart third place because it's one of the movies at it has an iconic moment in icon bind. We don't get a lot of great JEAN CLAUDE van Damme lines. But we get one in there. It's the final fight. He's in the middle of getting his butt whooped by Attila. He finds out that his buddy has bet a lot of money on Attila. He's like, oh, I thought you were gonna lose. We should we're going to split the money. Just stay down. We're friends now when a share the money that I bet on Attila with you. And then Vandamme gets very mad, and he sort of looks at him and he says wrong bit care. Can you play that clip right here? Can we hear the wrong bet line? The whole that's ONA tiller. Great. That's great. So you've got that one in third place. You've got death warrant where he goes to prison in fourth place. It's where he fights to Sandman, and then in fifth place, you've probably got double impact. I think that's order goes in buzzword kickboxer Lionheart death weren't. And then double impact, that's the order, not blood sport. And double impact. Next question. What's up states? From national Tennessee actually had a question about the villain of this episode. But the hero has anyone ever gotten more mileage out of a single skill the John van Damme that skill being the middle splits. You guys mentioned feature like five six times. And then that one movie it speech at least multiple times and keep points. All the moves follow. So that's it has anyone ever done more middle splits John Crowe van Damme or without him. Is he just like dolphin funding? They do weird accent the muscles in one movie and forgets Armand, though, the podcast give it by. Having a specific move is very important. Yes. Especially if you're not that good of an actor like you need a thing that you can fall back on because it definitely became a situation where after like three movies of having seen van Damme. Do the splits. You started watching van Damme movies specifically to see him do the splits as far as other people who've had gimmicks that they've leaned on like that and easy example. We were just talking about him would be swertz nigger. He had the Albee back line that he referenced in a bunch of other movies following Terminator all those probably more accurate to say his signature move was sort of flattening out the emotional spectrum and becoming like as machine like as possible. Shack. Shack was in the league for almost twenty years because he was good at dunking and also good giving good interviews like that's a good trick. Back to acting Samuel L Jackson has thing where he says motherfucker in a bunch of different ways to be clear though. That's not his only move. He's a great actor. That's just one of the things that he's known for Michelle Rodriguez, always sort of tougher than tough woman. Harrison Ford has a finger point Tom Cruise has sprint. I've been rewatching the ocean's eleven movies, and Brad Pitt has always eating or drinking something in those like there are bunch of other people who have signature moves be. I'd I don't know if any of them have gotten as much use out of them as John Claude van Damme has gotten out of his. You can put him at the top of this. Or if not that then somewhere near the top list. Definitely. Next question. Hi, this is Andrea awesome. Baltimore question. With Charlie to you choosing Sean Lee as the villain from bloodsport. Do you think he was more evil in incident? Dragon or do you think he was at his best and bliss board? I personally think into the dragon, but your opinion is greatly appreciated. Love the show keep it going. I'm glad you asked this question. Andrea. There was a part in the podcast where I mentioned that the first time I'd seen bolo young was as Chongli and blood sport. And because of that I got a bunch of messages from people telling me that I needed to watch enter the dragon because he was in there to him Bubba. We actually had when I say we I mean me John Kevin actually had whole sidebar conversation in the Chongli episode about exactly that and we were talking about how so many of the things he did. In blood sport were a callback to enter the dragon like the brick not hit back line. Which was a spin on a thing that Bruce Lee said and into the dragon CARA can you play that line right here? Can you play the Reuss Lee line? Don't get back to your question though. I think Chongli is a better villain in blood sport. Then below is as moon and into the dragon because both of his characters are scary. No question and both of his characters are murderers. No question. So they're tied in those two boxes. But only one of them ends up fighting the main protagonist of the movie, and that's Chongli in blood sport. Bolo never got to fight Bruce Lee and into the dragon thing a lot of people sort of have jailed those two characters together and their mind. And we think that there's a Bruce Lee versus Chongli fighting. But there's not he ended up getting beaten by John Saxons character and into the dragon. So give me Chongli from bud sport. Question. Hey, this is terrorist arm calling from Shanghai China. Love the pod love the Charlie one thing. I wanted to mention is did you realize that bolo your was forty one when he filmed as part and he previously been Mr. Hong Kong, the bodybuilding champion of Hong Kong question for you. What do you think happens next us? Frank deuce come back into title. What did Trump? He comes back in the slate of every other fighter that can challenge. Love the pod. Hope I'm not going to hell. Like, if we ignore the actual blood sport to that happened which had a knock off John Claude van Damme versus a knock off Chongli if we ignore that. And we just try to imagine what the blood sport universe looks like following Frank's win. I don't think he returns to defend his title. The only reason he went to fight in the committee in the first place was to honor Tanaka and to honor Tanaka deceased son Chongli definitely comes back in all likelihood he wins. Again, when Frank is gone, but Frank doesn't come back. He was too noble for that. He wasn't interested in that kind of glory. And right here seems like a good place to talk about. How blood sport is billed as being based on a true story. Like, there's a real and actual Frank dukes in the world. Except but his story about competing in an underground martial arts competition with the world's masters was proven to be a gigantic lie even the trophy that he had for winning the Kuma Tei someone found I think it was the Los Angeles Times, but someone found out that he'd gotten the trophy made for himself at a trophy shop down the street from his house or some shit like that. I can't allow I kind of I kind of respect that hustle. Although some flags should have gone up. Like, if you're if you're telling somebody you won an underground martial arts tournament against the best fighters in the world, and it's been happening for years and years and years. It's dishonored tradition where you can go in there, and you can kill a person and nothing will happen to you. Like if you're telling somebody you won that fight. And then you're like, here's my proof. Look at this trophy. I got a trophy. Just like you give a fourth grader in a soccer league. We get the same kind of. Somebody should figure this out ahead of time. I'm glad they didn't though because then we would not have gotten bloodsport the movie. Next question say, this is Chris from Phoenix. The village podcast was incredible. It was brilliant and Trump was clearly billing of the season and in a cast on so many necessarily circus. I ask is there any overlooking? She Tanaka as a person with a villainous background those guys are left to pan under unclear circumstances. Trains kid to be a fighter and had a Kate. Yeah. Still for his child is back yard. There was a bady Kumi in his backyard. I'd love to hear thoughts. Listen, I get like what you're saying. In all honesty. You're probably right Tanaka was probably putting his child safety in danger. In the backyard with the coup Matt with the machine that stretches you into the splits. And we never even really got to hear how or why Tanaka son died like there's a chance to knock a was involved there, either directly or indirectly Tanaka probably has something to do with that. I remember the part early in the movie when Tanaka swipes the sword in front of Frank dukes face when he's a kid and cuts the Bill off of his hat, like maybe Tanaka did that with his son, but his son moved and he had his whole face sliced off like he was in salt or some shit. Like, you're probably right to nocco was probably a bad dad, but he's dead, and I don't wanna speak ill of the dead. Like, there's a list of bad things you can do in movies that automatically get erased from your rap sheet when you die so people only get to say nice things about you Tanaka gets right up to the edge. There of that list. We only have to say nice things about him though. Next question. Drowning Las Vegas. I was calling to get your take on the popular theories. Chongli actually a definite looking the evidence. He rarely says anything that somewhat encroaching strange voice. And when somebody team makes very little noise dots on that. Ooh, I'd never. I'd never even considered that. That's a fun thing to think about was wrongly actually deaf. That's that makes a lot of sense all of the pieces. You're pointing out if I had a guest, though, I would say it had less to do with the writers of the movie writing him as deaf and more. It was a combination of a him not knowing English. And also be the movie crews not having enough money to figure out ways to get Mike's on the fighters during the actual fights. Like, you need the mic there to hear the scream otherwise it's going to sound really dumb. I don't know. Who knows you might be right? Who knows maybe Chongli was deaf. That's a that's a compelling twist. Last question. Okay. So in blood sport when JC is wondering around town before his timely to clear, his head or whatever. And he has a vision he sees Chongli like staring at him through a train window. But in that vision Chongli is wearing a shirt with a black collared shirt. So you think he just in his vision wanted him to have some close to be less scary. Or is this what Changli was wearing after his five, you know, in the locker room locker room and just wonder what what do you think the dynamic was after five when all the fighters were, you know, just killing their, thanks. What that's another thing. That's two things in a row that I'd not consider that not considered the possibility that Chongli was death. I'd also not wondered why as you mentioned when Jacqueline van Damme imagines Chongli after he's destroyed right Jackson's rain. He imagined him in close I has seen him and. Close. That's funny to think about them in the locker room after the fight. They're all just sort of hanging out and Chong Leah's getting dressed. It would make sense you put on like a black button up shirt, though. There was a movie clip when I was researching for all of this. I was like watching old Chongli fight sold Chongli scenes, whatever there's there's one where he has. I can't even remember the name of the movie is a real quick part in it where he plays like a gangster. And he's all dressed up, and it's the weirdest. It's the weirdest thing as like when you go to the park, and you see a dog in like a suit like a fake dog suit or a hoodie as like that except bigger like a rhino. Imagine a rhino in effect night at the Roxbury suit. That's. That's what it felt like in trong leeann there. Yeah. I have no idea. Why he imagine him? I figure he probably saw him putting shirt on. And there you go. That's what it is. It would have been really funny if he would have Magid him shirtless in his like fighting gear though. We are officially at the end of villains CARA. My last request to you. Can you play Sarah McLachlan's? I will remember you as I read through these final credits. And then just let it keep playing when I'm done this. That's probably my saddest song that I can think of and I'm filling my saddest way right now. So let's do that. Thank you so much to everyone who listened to villains. Thank you so much to everyone who called into these bonus, Cuna episodes, and thank you so much to everyone who told someone else about villains as a season was going on. It means a lot. I'm glad that you did that Thang. Julia Littman, and Bobby Wagner, and Carol heart and to anyone else who worked on any of the episodes. I'm sad that it's done. Tell your people to go listen to the old episodes. If they've not already I'm going to miss working on this podcast. No more questions. I saw.

Chongli Claude van Damme Chongli John Claude van Damme Tanaka Frank deuce bloodsport Chris Ryan Attila John Crowe van Damme Charlie Samuel L Jackson Thailand Chong leeann Chongli tra- Molo Trump Frank dukes YouTube Albany
They Called This a Movie Episode 79 - Double Impact (1991)

They Called This a Movie

1:19:22 hr | 1 year ago

They Called This a Movie Episode 79 - Double Impact (1991)

"Sean Claude Van Damme. He always makes an impact. Now get ready for double impact to them. Think Van Damme. Times to nukes exactly like you. Big Twin brothers reunited on a mission. Watch my back to avenge their parent's death. One packs a punch one tax piece together. They deliver double compact. Excuse me from Hollywood to the Far East on land on C. And He Damn Quick Extra Service. Damn Cool Damn hot. Would we do that? I learned about vandamme times to double the fun would never in my life where black silk honored. I'm with that one and double the damage. Welcome Today Call. This movie testing the strength of friendships. One terrible movie at a time. Subscribe to the podcast. Another podcast services by searching Nichols movie we appreciate naming network. It's five more from us. Check the website the maintenance dot com or on twitter facebook and instagram. At the main daime. We're also now proud member Geek five-nation you can find them at GB NATION DOT com. Welcome back today. Call this movie. This Anthony Delvecchio with me as always. Is Dan Acquino? Mark Myers say hello. Gentlemen Hey everyone. Hey guys do you remember when the British were a our full empire? Pepperidge Farm Remembers Awhile. It's been awhile I don't remember it's be honest with you. Yeah we'll touch upon that. I was just giving a history lesson by you guys about it so I know and this all happened under my nose. I had no clue. Yeah it's a while since I've read anything from Richard Kipling. So that's what made me laugh at the beginning of this movie what we'll get into it. Yes so guys before we get into this week's movie If you've listened to episode last week we kinda started a new thing while we're under quarantine Guys what are you watching the last episode in this absorbs. I started to watch tiger king and then I realized it was like rampant animal abuse. So I can't I can't get behind that so I turned it off And then I switched onto community because I found out that that's now on Netflix. And then that had rampant animal abuse the no but there's a lot of racism in it for one actor specifically but I realized that show. I liked that show. I used to watch it back in the day. It takes a little while to kind of gain any traction char So I'm I'm only three episodes in and I just I. I was watching it with my father-in-law and it was like Oh man. I hope he likes it. Because I'm always seeking validation one man. I hope he likes this and he realizes that I'm a funny guy and there was hardly any laughs to be had in the first two episodes so now I feel like he thinks lesser of me. So thank thank you community and thank you Dan Harmon for making the first two episodes really shitty But Yeah That that's what I've been watching for the most part and then I watched our movie this week. What about you mark? Yes so Besides watching our movie this week I don't know if it falls. Maybe I watched this. Fred mentioned it last week but I watched a three of the documentaries on vice. The wrestling ones the dark side of the ring. I've watched those while under quarantine the at Chris. Benoit won the match made in heaven about Macho and Elizabeth and the Metro. Screw job And I've also recently. I've just been playing a bunch of video games. Final fantasy seven remake game in. So that's been most of my free time Just because essentially as we were making a joke that basically. I just go into suspended. Animation and wake for podcasts and streams. I WANNA I WANNA I wanna get it done before the next gameball pied too so I can have a little bit of review on your try and finish it by into like about two weeks time. Yeah Yeah just be like a true gaming journal. I I didn't even think about that. Do you have the final fantasy? I would surprise that you were able to join us for this. Podcast literally just finished before we came on like my session for the back but yeah yeah so and and also like we had the discussion like that. I have to be doing something but You know it's essentially I You know preparing for Stranger Davies and you know a final fantasy and you know so now much time for me to really get the the old movies fired up the only thing. I've been thinking about watching something I've already seen only because anthony brought it up last week as I have ray of perks being wallflower and that was my movie the year. Twenty twelve twenty thirteen twenty third or twenty twelve because this may twenty thirteen and that was on our first top ten list Yeah S. Six or something yeah so. I was thinking of of of watching that but yeah that's about what I've been doing Do you have your letterbox thing. Open at for I really haven't watched much of no We've been watching Ozark We're getting pretty deep into that. So we're like halfway through the second seat right now. So we got a season and a half left Still doing the quarantine days of horror Watch the fog John. Carpenter's the fog for the first time ever and Another shady movie called Ghost keeper which was possibly the worst movie I've seen in a very long time. There's a movie that they literally ran out of money halfway through so they had to kind of write the ending on while they were shooting because they had no money to do what they were. Originally planning to do and Just continuing doing the Friday Friday the thirteenth movies. So watch the second one this this past week so next this coming week this Friday. I'll be a posting a review on the third film was watched a shitty quote unquote documentary called Demon House starring Zach Baggins. The guy that does Ghost Adventures. That was terrible suggest anything about Zach Baggins. He is a he's like. He's like the guy from ghost hunters if he had like the charisma of a Criss Angel Zorka thanking the third property. Brother I couldn't even tell you what the property brothers are like. It's an old photo going around from when they first started. They have the three brothers posing. The third one looks at Chris Angel. He has the hair over the eyes. Pay Now he's like he's like a hot topic. Come to live this week. We wanted to or I wanted to suggest and these guys agreed to go a little action. Heavy this week So we tapped our good friend at Jean. Claude van Damme the muscles from Brussels. Yes this is the second time we watched John. Claude Van Damme movie in. This is the second time we watch Zhong Claude Van. Damme movie where he appears twice. He really loves himself. He likes he likes playing a dual role. So this week we watched double impact from nineteen. Ninety-one gentlemen were coming from with double impact. And how many times have you seen this previous mark? That's a good question mark. Do you WANNA go. First I've only seen it a couple of times and most of those have been like on basic cable so I did not know about the gratuitous scene that occurs near the end Right yeah this is. This is probably one of the ones. I've seen the least time. Cop is the most because it's obviously probably his best movie But yeah I I kind of idea with the story was I forgot the setting and it made me laugh immediately at the beginning of this movie But yeah so so this one As soon as aunt suggested it was like all right yeah watches. I haven't seen it in a long time 'cause it's not like one of the GO-TO J. C. B. The movies As we've all found out Wanting hit but Yeah Yeah So. I realized that I had only seen the basic cable. And that's basically where I'm coming out with. It is that I didn't remember much of it but I did You know at least remember that That stupid Part in the beginning. We first meet Chad. Adult Chad So what are you talking about the the moment where we almost labia flu? We definitely see a camel toe. But not of I think it's actually Moose knuckle. I think that's the scientific term. Yeah probably because of the time period that I saw it in which basic cable I saw it on is probably an awakening at that point. We Jacqueline van Damme or the lady. Julie strain is the aerobics Students so who would go onto a star in a lot of softcore porn of the of the era no Bikini Movies right now earlier. Talking about I could pull it up Dan where you're coming from. I've never seen this movie. I actually thought we were watching deep impact. I got confused so it was like. Oh well that's not very action heavy and it's more Just it was Kinda lame. But I'm GonNa you know whatever but then I saw that it was double John Claude van Damme and I got super excited because I love time cop so I was like. How could this be any worse you know like this is? This'll be just as good because again. You're getting twice the van dam and I was very disappointed in this movie I'm we'll save it for the rest of the show but yeah John Claude van Damme can only pull off one thing and that's playing John. Claude Van Damme and in this movie. He tries to do two different John. Claude van Damme's I think and it's really shitty but it's quite good and evil version right right It's not good. It's very I does. He have I WANNA know. Does he have any other movie where he plays? A dual role is is it. Just deep double impact in Time Cop. Those we might have Run the gamut of John Claude. Van Damme amador roles. I think we need to bring that back. I think we need to get junk. Van Damme in another role where he plays to John. Claude van Damme's. The world's sorely misses that that John Laura of movies and I think he'd be down to do it Julie Strain Star of Day of the warrior. Heavy metal two thousand also indirectly hills cop three and naked gun thirty third among a bunch of other softcore porn. She was the penthouse pet naked gun. Thirty three and a third is porn. And now I mean but it could be all that name is true. I forgot to mention on mine that I had forgotten. That Bolo is in this movie Yeah from Mike. Probably Second Favorite J. C. v. The movie kickboxer also using blood sport sport. I'm sorry which is about kickball. Honestly I think I when I was watching this movie we would need to get a face off between Nicholas Cage and Bolo because Dr this movie Bolo make some wild faces man. I would like to see. I would like to see them out meeting each other. Gotcha Yeah. This is the first time ever seeing This film Beezer like a for the first two times versing Jacques. Claude van Damme movies. So we've watched them on this podcast. I I read on letterbox. That it was basically parent trap meets John. Claude van Damme. I was not disappointed in that. Basically be exactly what. This is I it's it's not as good as time cop. It's it's passable. I think is what I can say about it. it's not particularly entertaining in terms of like. Oh it's that's hilarious. Let's watch that right. He's crazy he's trying to do a weird accent with that this one brother and he's that pull it off so let's laugh at that. It's just it's your. It's a run of the mill John. Claude van it's like a middle road sort of thing. The only thing of any interest is the fact that he's playing two parts really and it's you know he's barely playing two parts differences haircuts that's real and there there are moments in the in the third act of this film were. It's hard to tell who's zoo when they get all sweaty and greasy. It's tough to tell which one is. Which sort of has bangs. The other one's gotTA slicked back hair. Yeah Yeah I think I think the one is clean shaven and the other John Claude Van. Damme has just a slight stubble to him. Let you know. He grew up on the streets. Like the first John. Claude van Damme. He grew up a block away from the guy. That's eventually trying to kill him. But he's still has the same accent so they still goes by the same name of the baby that disappeared out from Mister Zhang which makes no sense right. How would they know his? How would he knows own name? That's true you sold. I guess the made we never under. We never find out who raised Alex. I'm assuming it was the mate. She was the one that saved him. She dragged him often and work. It looks that's right. Yeah that's why. I think he was a French orphanage. Yeah so that's why he has. No yes yeah. It is like as an accident there yet. They rebellion by having him seafarers. Jaka Touche movie. You thought there was that Chad. Alex Chad thinks he's he was born in France. Oh Yeah Dad's Mr Los Angeles as Alex calls them but frank. Frank raised him telling him as he was his uncle but he grew up in France or it was born in France and then he just like he drops that. I'm not your uncle. Were born in France. Let's go to Hong Kong. Yeah he he doesn't soften the blow and he's like hey. Let's go for some ice cream by the way. I'm not your uncle Martin. Where he just he lays that yeah. He drops it. Man's like stop calling me uncle not your uncle. Not your own cool. You were born in France now we gotta go wrong. It's just like I. I don't even have a passport. I think this was exactly he was a different time where we didn't have to worry about travel as much but I think you still need a passport. I'm pretty sure he needed the passport. If the O- some some news I found out there is another movie where he plays two roles but own screen at the same time. It's called maximum risk man. That sounds that either. Sounds like a Steven seagal movie or John. Claude van Damme Louis. That's a fifty fifty. He plays a twin one was murdered and the other one is seeking revenge. Gee just who got murdered in France does this. He also played dual roles in sudden death. We technically points going for the Pittsburgh Penguins in that movie. Yeah Yeah it is fascinating. Is that That one has Natasha. Henstridge in front of the ship. It to me. It's fascinating that directors keep allowing him to play dual roles. Double The kicks. Man Van Damage do you think? Do you think he ever did a double mint commercial. Maybe he would have had to Brussels. Yeah on him when he was a kid. That'd be great does. That's such a huge opportunity right there. He's just like kicking the begun at the TV screen. Right does he does roundhouse kick and it just flies at you. Double impact from Nineteen Ninety one directed by Sheldon Leach Really didn't do much else I think. He's the writer on Rambo. Three Hitler credits that were writing a specific I also think he was one of the writers on blood sport but This stars Jean. Claude van Damme Jeffrey. Lewis Alana Shaw Carina Carina Everson. Philip Chan Alan scarf scarf and Bolo young as I'm Debbie score of five point six rotten tomatoes score of thirty five percent Budget fifteen million dollars box office thirty million dollars so but doubled. Its box office budget. This movies It's okay It didn't it didn't hurt to watch. I think I think it. It didn't have had a decent premise. But it was just. It was set up very poorly. It relies too much on John. Claude van Damme Do that yeah. I think one of the things that they could lean into more is sort of that parent trap thing because it really halfway through. They realize that they're dealing with two brothers and it really doesn't doesn't matter anymore that they're twins note that point they could have just been brothers the entire time. I could have been different actor in one of the roles and it would essentially be the same movie. There's that one scene where they mistake Chad for Alex and I think it would have been more interesting if that if that played more into their plan or just became more of the plot. Everything it's like. Oh maybe something happens to. Alex of Chad has to pretend to be Alex. You know right yeah. I think you would've been cool thing if they kind of switched plate like Alex goes to Princeton. The pop style. Right Chad is he's very preppy. He's he's Mr Perfect so it would have been interesting to have Alex kind of switch that role and now he's you know he's this street. Tough guy living high on the hog. And he doesn't know how to do it. I mean while Chad is fighting for his life in Hong Kong. What if what if it's the reverse like? Let's say Chad from improper guy. Now he's got these people after him so in order to try and keep him safe is switched roles with Alex who's more streetwise and stuff and Alex assumes Chad's role so he can handle himself if somebody comes in like I'm coming through your window I'm going to karate. Chop to death is like no I know karate to yes do splits and the box and fight sorta like that. You bring that up. This movie sorely lacked splits. There's only one split again. This is what we said about time. Cup there's one split. Yeah five but at least in. Time Cop. The split mattered right. He he does the split when he's When he's he electrocuted the room right or something like that that. That's a good use of Split. I think it was a room full of women that that split mattered to I. Maybe they were paid to pretend it mattered. They went home and they just. It's a town bejeweled off off big time. I don't know we're out those D. batteries. We we see a whole lot of John. Claude van Damme through those tights. And listen. I this is gonNA sound weird but John Claude van Damme has cake is the key to seize back there. He is man he's but he he has a run for his money with that one. Hinch woman oh he is has the second best quads in this movie. That woman has she's saquon Barkley of this movie. Yeah they looked her up. She's not really like I was. I figured she was like a stuntwoman. Not really anything like she has like. Maybe fifteen roles were so her career. She looks like she could have been on. American gladiator. Yeah no turn. This isn't my notes. I think once or twice just her claws well because you she when she walks at the camera you get a good look at some at it. Sometimes it's defined man those quasi defined wear shorts in that same shorts and just those quads are on display. Are you just kick through a cement wall? You're right man. She could. She could pound the rock for one hundred yards. Sure it was impressive. Any five touches for one fifty. Yeah I could see that pushing the pile for the the one yard touchdown. Barry sent Eddie George remember in the one suitable for his knee was down but took the call against the Rams I think she I think she'd stand. I think he'd be able to to carry it and she was impressed. She's a specimen. She's very very very weird. Though in that she tries to tries to be seductive and she's very heavy and which I guess you can kind of expect with a woman who has ties as big as all of our heads combined and she tries. She tries to snap his neck. Look I thought there was going to be a chance that we saw that. At one point she would snap someone's name almost like Family Jensen in Goldeneye. I thought we were going to see that but now she just. She's just brute force stabbed dude. That was a little disappointing. The size of her claws didn't play nearly as much into the movie. As you think right and again you waste a split you waste some stellar quads. Those were savage man. I want those squads. You guys just all waste sanctuary. Says I'm going through Jonquet van Damme's Trivia and stuff when I am the kind of wild Daniel be happy to know this He has an Animal Rights Act. Do I like him I go well I mean you could be? You can still be an asshole. An animal rights. He also calls himself the Fred Astaire of karate apparently he thought time cop and blood. Sport could have both been multiple Multiple Franchise movies that were very popular will be idiots I said the idiots sold the time copyrights to television. And then the what's where people just use second rate kick boxers for the sequel. Oh Damn that's that's pretty hard man. Those are all hot takes by the way over great with which I admire. If you're known for roundhouse kicks they're going to have some hot takes out imagine muscles from Brussels. Just telling it like it is that's why he's not employed anymore. I demand so has he been updated in a while He did Jasey Jay. Cv. That's like ten years ago at this point though isn't it see at the most recent thing he's been in a couple He was in a movie John. Claude van Johnson in twenty cents. Tv centers yes where he plays two roles. It never ends. I love it. He does mostly like farcical things yet. Now he's doing like his minions Risa grew looks. Like he's doing the Bruce Willis thing like where he just does action movies as an old guy. You know you know I. He pretends like he wants to be there. More than Bruce Willis does. Well Yeah I. I don't know I haven't heard much about how John Claude van Damme onset. But we all know that Bruce Willis was just a huge pain in the ass through most of his later years. Do you think John Claude van Damme was like that. He was tough to work with but she was tough to work. With in his heyday. He yes some of the Trivia. He rejected a three film deal with because he wanted twenty million dollars fixture like like Jim Carey Dan And that he. He rejected a role in expendable in twenty ten because when he asked Stolen with movies bad he says. Don't worry you're GONNA make a lot of money. And he was like. I don't want to hear that what I'm doing what he did. Wind up in the expendable to though do you think he walks into Casting agents now and just says I'm the Fred Astaire crotty split you think he just yells that wherever he goes probably because I would honestly. I like how he did that. Because there's no way that was taken by anybody. Fritz near of anything that references GONNA be dated at a couple of you even know what that means and a fairly time cop was. The movie was paid the second. Most four five million dollars was number one ST fighter. Okay Yeah Which will probably be in an episode before we finish this podcast on there. Yeah we gotTA finish out. We have to touch on most John. Claude van Damme movies. It's GonNa it's GonNa Happen. Yeah stomach seagal movie yet. That's probably for the best. He's kind of. He's more of a joke in himself in enough himself really. So there's really no need to touch on that I'll sit down. Do you guys want to get into the plot at this point Damn you got anything say I do. I'm here to tell you about our friend. Te'o a good friend of the show. She's with Geek fives nations. She has her own podcast. That you should listen to what's called the top ten with tea and you should check it out. It's a weekly podcast. Tia and her crew. Tackle a number of entertaining topics like the top ten movies of the year. Or the top ten worst on-screen couples. I think this past episode was the top ten Characters. Who had a resurgence or something? Along those lines right. It was a Like resurging character arc I haven't listened to it yet but It's every week and You should check it out. She's a great person. We have a lot of fun when we record for Geek Vibes nation so Yeah that's it Yeah so we are and take a quick break a couple notes from friends of podcast so we will be right back. Hey everyone this is Steve. And this is Adam and we're part of the hot nation. Usa podcast Pittsburgh's number three craft beer. Podcasts join us. Every Friday for new gear reviews. We'll talk about the news history and homebrew plus. We'll sit down with the best brewers in industry personalities. That'll have us so whether you're a casual drinker hazy boy hop head or even if you're a whale hunting seller hoarder just search hop nation. Usa On apple spotify or your favorite pod catcher and joined the nation. Ohi didn't see you there. It's me George from the best little horror house in Philly. The show where we talk about the best horror movie ever made according to our guest. At least we've talked about groundbreaking classics like Texas Chance Massacre in alien. But we've also got a lot of great ones coming up including some very fun guest like Len Cab Kinsky of swamp zombies and red letter media fame Caroline Williams the star of Texas chainsaw massacre two and Chase Williamson from John. Dies at the end. So make sure you're subscribe to the best little horror house in Philly. I'll see you boils and ghouls over there. And welcome back outside to get into the pot for double impacts. We open twenty five years in the past in terms of this movie Dedication ceremony for the Victoria Harbour Tunnel in Hong Kong and again as we mentioned the idea of a British controlled Hong Kong immediately dates. This movie night. Completely forgotten about that. This was the Senate for this job we have to Brits Paul Nigel who are basically responsible for the tunnel project and in attendance for the ceremonies. Paul's wife and his infant twins Chad and Alex night on the way home Paul in his wife Have someone following in their if following them in their car and Paul's bodyguard. Frank has been sent home for the day but they have car phones and frank realizes that Paul's trouble so he goes racing to try and get to Paul before anything happens at their home group of Asian men in suits. Get Out of the car was following them and start firing into the car Frank as imagine his is driving but he's late and policy killed. His wife is killed. The MADE MANAGES TO ESCAPE. While frankly with the other frank shoots a lot of gang. Members manages to shoot at the eye of one of the the Henchmen who knows Mr Moon? But he also gets shot in the process Fleeing though frank identifies Griffith one of the business associates is in the vicinity and He manages to steal away With the baby as the made has as well and then we flash forward twenty five years later. Jad is working as an aerobics. Karate instructor and then we nearly get shot of woman's Labia as we mentioned as he helps her stretch and that That stretch is not a euphemism He's actually helping her aerobics stretch. And then we also get to see John. Claude DO SPLIT SKINTIGHT. Pants and all his aerobics students just cut about so the floor is this. Is this. The first instance of a Chad in a movie? Yeah he dealt up to that name as well. It was movies. All those women just blew on the floor my scholar us. It's pretty gratuitous. Yes then frank comes in who has an aged really that much in twenty five years until Chad that he needs to take over the credit class and Chatham media knocks Cockatiel Dude with ponytail and then meanwhile frank meets with an Asian man who has pictures of man that looks just like Chattan Hong Kong and then Frank Calls Channon his office and tells them they need to go to Hong Kong heels tells them that he's not his uncle and he wasn't born in France and they're on a plane to Hong Kong lately. It's movie we'll get to it in the exact Lexington coming up. Let's scenes has the quickest Let's just get the plot out like it doesn't matter what it is Okay okay now you can kind of admire it just for getting to the point but it's it's done so like ham fisted LII and it's it really doesn't give you a second debris and realize what's going on like. Oh we're in Hong Kong now okay. I didn't even realize where we were to start it. Took me two tries to realize that he's in La. Yeah I had no clue no clue where we go. We'll change of scenery. I guess awesome. It's like a bomb movie. It does have a lot of bond esque Stereotypes so I think they might have been trying to go for a bond. Feel once in Hong Kong. Frank Takes Chatou Mahjong Parlor and some of the patrons seems recognized. Chad the bartender drink just the way he likes it as he says and a. Patriot gives them a handful of as if he owed them. Beautiful Blonde shows up and entices. Chad's come into the back room with her. He follows and then she acts like she knows them complimenting him on his new clothes and haircut and then immediately sticks her hand down his pants feel siliconware then a guy grabs him by the shoulder. Turns around and it looks just like him then in that guy knocks him out with a Headbutt. And when Chadwick's up frank tells at the guy is his twin brother Alex and if nothing else this movie improves on the separation concede to the parent trap. We now realize why they were separated as opposed to the parent trap where just were divorced. Pick your favorite kid on your way. I. I do like how Alex yells at his girlfriend for sticking her hand down chats pants. How could you not know what do you mean? It looks just like that's that's not fair. Come on would you never wear black? Silk underwears is common and not. I would never wear bright pink shorts with a tourist. Yeah I mean they do. They definitely do have very different styles in terms of clothing and just overall appearance. But if you're going to pick one thing the nit-pick about it can't be silk underwear because come on. It's like hurricanes are already down his pants at that point right. The worst has been done at. So if you're GONNA blame her for not noticing something maybe noticed that. He's wearing the super short. Shorts at are definitely not what Alex would wear. I mean he's like a biker. Dude pretty much It's like saying like how could you not know me my be? My Dick is so much bigger than that. They mentioned their dicks a decent amount in this move. Yeah it's definitely only talking about one Dick Right. It's just John Quad. Talking to himself. Beleza puts because he mentioned Oh you have when she sticks her hands down his pants. It's like Oh you have a surprise to huge surprise which Kinda tells me that. It's not that big because you really don't have to go it. It's what is it. You're not the king if you have to say you're the king right so I think you're overcompensating there. And that is that really weird moment in the Asian market right after we see a frogs fucking head chopped off. Do Make my Dick Bigger right. That was that was weird. I don't think any of US expected him to ask. Yeah so frank gives them the lowdown on Griffith's involvement with financing. The title on a secret. Loney took out with triads and once. The tunnel was completed their fathers expertise tunnel. Construction wasn't needed by the triads. So that's the reason why they hadn't killed Also as I mentioned wise Alex Been Hiding in plain sight under his given name in the city his parents were killed just like we skywalker on Tetsu Green so then after this Alex Takes Shannon Frank on his boat while he conduct some business Another boat docks with them and they exchanged a couple of Mercedes trunk full cigarettes cash authorities. I suppose the Hong Kong Cleveland of the Coast Guard or something shows up for sale and sales partner. Think Alex turn them in so they fight until they wind up knocking the other dudes off the boat. Then a boat chase ensues between Alex's boat and the police To Shed Weight. Franken chat push both. Mercedes off the boat and then explode them in order to keep the boat. The police boats off them. Which makes sense. Really if you think about it. Y- The the the police boats could easily have just gone around them. Yes they're making there. There's a big ocean. It was only a harbor. It was still pretty spacious. It didn't look like they were tight. You Know My god. There's two cars on fire. What should we do? We were never trained for this terminal. We're strictly see police. I guess we have to turn this boat around. We'll get him next time. Then at the market. We learn at Danielle. Alex's girlfriend has been working Vergara fit for five years. This is what we get sued. Froggatt said chopped off mentioned. Dan Who is the seems like they were at the Asian market and they're just like shooting bureau and they managed to capture. That doesn't really seem like there was like this job. Some fraud says I hope that's what it was. Yeah it like you said it did make me feel a little better that it's just be role yes. I still. I'm starting to question whether you're not. You know this ahead of time because we seem to be watching a lot of movies where where? I did that as soon as I saw going to. Mention this. Listen this is strike to all right next thing. You're you know you'RE GONNA want us to watch Hannibal Cannibal Holocaust. I didn't know that they eat a turtle in pig there. I didn't know Dan. Dan How that's the only thing. I took away from that movie So they will scroll up already. Where am I So so we know that Daniel works for Griffin and a there in the market and she storms away. Yeah so then Franks. Frank Appeals to Alex that Alex could be making money off the tunnel. You know it's your birthright more or less this is what he's saying So then Chad takes a cab back to his hotel were bunch of triad guys. Show up in Mercedes. Who MISTAKE HIM FOR ALEX? And they put him in a car or he meets Alex's employer who is not happy with the loss of cars he gives Chad ahead as my one issue with this scene. is that they know that people are after them but yet for some reason they split up. Franken chat Like why is he going back to the place alone yeah they? They do this numerous times throughout the movie. I wonder if it's just stupidity where it's just like well. They're not after me after my brother which is very possible. I mean Chad is kind of an idiot. He's a big babies So yeah he gets put into the car. Zhang is the is. Alex is employer. He gives chat a scar box to hold with the initials P D W on it and then Chad. Recognize it as his father's initials recognize the story in a letter. Will coincide story. Frank told him that his dad and then the cars arrive at an empty lot and Jiang till chat about shipments coming into the harbour. The only thing he has to do is pick it up and chat tells him to go fuck himself and Jiang Sy- Stugz on Chad and he starts kicking some ass until Mr Moon shows up and who is a Jiang's right hand man and he steps up and destroys Chad tossing around shipping container into the really getting the best of him We'll follow so Chad gets dumped back at his apartment and relays. The Story to Franken. Chad jet sells Frankie's now in on the plan to get his birthright back from the triads. As is Alex meanwhile Danielle starts doing some digging into the into the Toria harbor project at work gets caught by some other women in Kara questioning. What she's doing nothing by. I'm supposed to be here to ask Mr Griffith by fees and then Daniel Calls Alex to rela- what happened but she couldn't find anything because someone walked in meaning care now said he's taking his is. He's taken Chad on a trip. So I'll take the boat to some sort of abandoned islands with an abandoned hotel where they plan to stay Chad is not pleased with the arrangements. Alex isn't so sure about out. Chas going into the fight with the triads lewd scene. Where we get to see the guys look over all the weapons that they have their exposal. Their plan is to interfere with the shipment. Jiang told chat about so Thursday night at the dock is when it's going down and stealth mission with the Alex leading the way killing dudes flick of his wrist. Eventually a gunfight ensues thanks to Chad's itchy trigger finger so we get a long drawn out seed. We'RE GONNA go off alex dual wielding gangsters all. She incomes sometimes from six feet away. So they're adhering to social distancing. Chad has some sweet rolling on the floor moves. Or You roll roll by the way. It's so deliberate. And slow and shooting with his his. His guns above said. No no so nearly Shoots Chad Frank. Picks them off with sniper rifle they WANNA stealing a truck and frank blows up to dock with a well-placed C. Four charge and as they drive away. Alex tells Chad that he fucked up the mission because he had an itchy trigger finger on a ferry. Alex tells Danielle to continue looking into Griffith. She tells them night. Mr Going to a party at a club owned by Zhang that night. So that Jiang's Mr Griffith lays out For us the audience what the plan is now that the US Department drugs enforcement agencies cracking down on drugs from South America plan to fill the void from Asia with the new boat that they acquired so Alex shows up at the club and gives case a Cognac ponytail. Henchmen the Mr Griffith sells All the other guys about the explosion at the factory and says that it might have been worked from someone on the inside one of those guys. That table gets killed by car care with Nice pick and then I just my notes look at. The clouds on underlined several times squats for our listeners. Out there you really have to see these QUADS I. We're not underestimating them or like you know. We're not overplaying it now. I would say there is something to behold. I literally wrote down in my notes. The clause care. I don't write that for anybody else that this woman's made me stop and point out to myself. Holy Shit and those women who quads on that woman especially I feel like for a movie because this came out in nineteen ninety one. When was the last time prior to that? Were you saw a woman with just like quads. That could crusher watermelon man. Yeah they're they're cracking walnuts. Those babies so I would love if anyone listens to to watch that and just get back to us and just like tell them. Those are awesome So Chad heads in from the back. Walking around with another Cognac. I don't really know what their plan was at this point. I'm confused as well. So Chad. Fucking up again. Ah I guess. The the Cognac Boxes really have bombs on them. So I'm pretty sure that they're okay with casualties of innocent people have well we the thing that bothered me about the scene was how readily they were to accept a gift from a guy they beat the shit out of the day before? I don't think you're going to plan any sort of vengeance on us for dead. Thank you for the gift a marked box. I don't know terrible security right. I think that you would like open the box. It's doesn't feel like bottles of liquor. Yeah man those packed. Good right I mean then again. The Guy who I guess was head of security for for for Nigel was he has a ponytail. So you really can't making is not the test exactly you get what you pay for. Chat Hens in the back of their case CONAN. Xingjiang sends his men ring. Chad who they think is Alex into the back to quote unquote. Thank him before that happens. Franks that's see four charge in one of the boxes and the scene devolves into some karate action. Alex breaks the glass with his bare hands for no reason and they fight some dudes and then eventually they leave Zhang and Griffith than realize their to Jean. Claude van Damme's and then they realize what they're dealing with next at the office. Danielle gets caught by CARA with clouds. Says she has to Frisk her and the little sexual assault here for the audience here Daniel calls the guys in gets. Jad says she found something in the files. Griffith Jiang listening to the whole conversation. Chad says that he's going to get Franken. Alex these meet at her at Alex's apartment but Chad searches for all of two minutes. I can't find either of them and that takes the boat on his own to go. Meet up with Danielle Museum. I I think this is the moment where you can tell. Danielle is probably not the smartest person in the world. Let me call from the office phone to tell them what's going on and neither is Chad. Really probably know better. The the funny thing is she mentions that she shouldn't be doing it. The I can't tell you this over the phone. Meaning she knows that she's probably being listened to and she continues to talk. I can't really tell you this. But here's everything. Yeah what are you doing lady? That's not that's not how you do it. That's not how you relate sensitive information you gotTA figure out a call from a public payphone or something so Franken and they're stuck on the island while Chad goes to meet up with Danielle Chad meets up with her. But Jiang's men show up right after trapping them inside. Luckily Danielle knows a secret out. So they escape through a back alley with a couple of guys chasing after them. What are they gonNA mention? I don't know if you guys noticed this. But when he kicks the door open you can clearly see. It's a set kicks it open and there's like Oh like a wall frame four thing like the back of another set. It would be a key. Kicks the door open? And there's like a teamster. They're looking at. The camera was again. The wrong position got you know like it should have been shooting out the door right exit but it's a real quick. It was like the editor you editing video before at is probably saw that went fuck. I can't cut it anywhere. You get coverage of kicking the door from the other side. Yeah we need no fucking okay. Nobody noticed on you guys. And that's why this movie bombed. That made them money back. Plus did it fifteen fifteen million budget and may thirty thirty okay. Well to be honest with all of the Promotions and everything. Probably I don't know I have no idea how it works. I think you I think you're supposed to take like five million out so I'm just going off budget. I'm kind of going off. What everyone says about birds prey like Oh well it was only filmed for fifty million and it made X. amount of eighty million so it made its money. We'll know first of all you have to take into account promotions and who knows what. How do these people know they work for studios? Apparently I have no idea where everybody is. Great at predicting box office numbers so they get chased the market and to the pier. Eventually they make it back on the boat getaway to the Nicot Time Karen. Some goons jumping through helicopter. Which is just waiting for them already yet. They have trouble finding the boat amidst a lot of harbor traffic. And eventually they they kind of track it down. Danielle addresses on the boat just because They jumped into the water. I guess this was the conceit why she had to take your clothes off. That was a point where like had a little when it happened and she goes downstairs for no reason just drops the towel there was like a quota. They were like all right. We need to have boobs in this movie. So you'RE GONNA come down here. Just dropped gets out right. It's like You gotta we gotTA show boobs in the first within the first hour or else we're GONNA lose people so a fifty five minutes. They pushed it to the limit. I mean I appreciate it. I was surprised and I was like Oh here. We go now kind of brought me back in so they knew they knew man they were. That's just leaving the steaks on the Grill. Just long enough. They're no fools yes it was It was quality boob so I don't really know who she is or where where else we ever would saw her. He didn't do much. I feel like she would have been like on married with children or something like that. Sure there's but one episode that she was on but tries to hit on her and she just calls them nerd or whatever geeking just like throw them out the window or something like that. You know how you know how it goes guys. Yeah that's not her But Anyway so. Yeah then Meanwhile Chad is chugging Johnny Walker Red Label and the helicopter eventually makes it to the islands. Frank Heads Back to report to Zhang and Danielle's downstairs going to change and I guess Chad has some sort of Cycle PSYCHIC CONNECTION WITH ALEX. Yeah I guess. Chad isn't choking Johnny Walker Red Label. Alex Alex Join Her red label back at the hotel because now he's imagining his brother. Fucking his girlfriend and it is a very specific imagination. Like even recognizes the clothing. Line back. Now they're gonNA use that to fuck. It's he has such a great meltdown. Alex Mother Fucker Tommy. Why so at the end of the room? Yeah exactly still. It's such a good mental down and you're right. He does have a very vivid imagination of what he his brothers doing his girlfriend. Because he's -sition I would. I would hope that was happening. I guess you need to. I guess if you're going to that level you really have to over exaggerate it right if you're if you're Alex like Shh. He's he's better than me at this or whatever I have no idea but if if I was imagining my twin brother banging my wife I would hope it was just like missionary. Please let it only just be like real real boring sex in. I urge his mind. Chat is a fucking dynamo acrobatic man standing up. Now he's like carrying around piledriver. Yeah he's very good. He's good at the sex jeff. Which with the name like that would probably be contrary to what he's good at. I'd imagine he's just more. He's more braggadocious about sex because he he talks about. How Dick is like does is GonNa make my Dick grow bigger so I would feel like. He's very insecure during sex Chad. He's very shy about it or maybe he's just the opposite he just like fucks and doesn't give a shit. I got whatever whatever still smashed. I got mine. Basically right yeah. It was the best two minutes of your life. So then changes back on the island and frankly pissed because now he has to get rid of the boat and says you've got some explaining to do this now into do because Alex is in francs. You're talking about how he's fucking my girlfriend. I I wish. Frank would have said like yeah. Alex thinks you just like Fuck Danielle. So you got to figure that out real quick just so he could have worn them. You've got some explaining to do is like like dudes fucked up and he's out for blood. Yeah right we know that Alex is a hothead you just came back with his woman. Do you think maybe frank you should be there to kind of refereed. The situation a little bit. You know he just he bolts ears again. When I'm like gotta go get rid of this boat by he. I don't want to be there for this So Chad walks into the hotel. Danielle to a drunken Alex just because he assumes they fucked. He slaps Danielle right across the face. Chad kicks him in the face. Then Chattan doubts. Fight up the stairs and follow our balcony. Frank mentally comes in fires gun in the air to stop them. And then Chad uses the F word. I'll use the word Algebra. Always be an. It's a slang for you know. I think we know. Yeah okay so I may be drunk. But tomorrow I'll be sober and he'll always be word. The hero of the story ladies slap in women and using slurs. Yeah I keep I keep screwing up their names. Because they're both Giancarlo vandamme. It's okay. They're the same person essentially even in the movie. The brothers they don't need each other. Alex go storming off Chad. Go storm saying he's going back to La and runs off Yeah this part of my notes. I kept swapping. I kept getting a wrong every time. So the next morning. Alex wakes up on the beach and sees a bunch of thugs stormed beach and cares helicopter in the air and the bugs storm in a hotel and start shooting the place up. It Take Danielle hostage and Alex. Turner Some Beach Cleanup if you know what I mean. So it's killing off these. These thugs left. And Right Jiang arrives. Asks for the twins are and frank says fuck you and gets punched. Jackson's. They're going to bring back Danielle to Griffith. Meanwhile Chan and Alex or taking out a bunch of goons separately sometimes kicks. Sometimes guns mostly kicks. I was just say there's a really bad Punch to kick ratio in this movie. I think Chad knows how to kick. It's only does only does eventually really begun and eventually meet up back with one of the goons tied up Going to ask him some questions. Groove Griffith arrives at the dock with Jiang and Cara where Franken Danielle or take a captive. Mr Moon is gonNA frank a good once over the Jiang Asks. If Frank is going to talk to me is odd. Because the only thing they could possibly need to find out his location the twins when in reality the twins are probably going to come to them. Because obviously that's the reason why you would take Franken Daniel hostage in the first place Chattan Alex sneak onto the boat. The old fake prisoner routine which never works in the a role better very true most of the time in the movies the guards role very low perception and then chatting now start making their way through a bunch of faceless goons shooting kicking punching griffith gets on the PA system. Let them here. Let the twins here torture Frank? Then organ fighting Chad gets to one of the PA boxes to tell Griffin that. He's dead man than Alex gets into a fight with a goon with Spurs and the in the pitch black which is kind of cool scene from Cintas Cinematography standpoint But it's like the is like the weird oddball scene where they tried to style is a little bit And wind up not being that good of an action scene. It's very short. Yeah he he catches him and he just like punches him a few times and and he he flexes on. Punch notice that he punches. A real kind of does that I'm trying to think would what do you call it He flexes gives a good flex. And you see in the shadow. Meanwhile Chad takes Mr Moon Mr Moon pix barrel fouling material tries to crush Chad with it. Chad kicks him in the Dick and then gets out from under it. And then Chad and Mr Moon then take off their shirts and fight like real men. Miss Mr Moon. By the way has great form when he picks up the BARRELS HIS CLEANING JERK. Perfect bash uses his legs good height and this is jazz boss fight. Mr Moon tries to crush him with another funnel barrel but Chad jumps over him and kick the Shit Out of kicks Mr Moon into an electrical box killing him then everything explodes. Alex Rescues Danielle from Henchman. That may or may not try to Raipur characters out of nowhere and tries to crush his head with epic law school. I I really hope that. We we emphasize the quads in our posts. These things need to be. They need to be shown they need to be seen. The world needs to see these quads. Josie grabs his Dick at one point and he slaps the shit out of her and then she's at him with a knife. Alex eventually wrestles the knife away from Karen Stabs stomach than Griffith Zhang they could break for it. Shannon. Alex Chase after them. Chad goes after Griffith while Alex goes after Jiang on a cargo ship out starts climbing up. Crane law chanted Danielle almost get crushed by shipping container and as he gets up to the top of the crane. House get's sprayed by a fire extinguisher by Zhang from Zhang reveals a dagger and his walking stick and starts trying to stamp Chad. But Chad manages to dodge and sticks. Jiang's hand in a couple of gears and gets crushed chatrooms on Chad turns on she. While Jiang has model again Jiang falls from the Green Toes De. Meanwhile Chad gets any safety and then jumps off the cargo ship to avoid the the shipping container and then Griffith starts monologue at the water at Alex. Insert shooting at it but then Alex jumps into the forklift behind Griffith and drops a shipping container on him. That was so funny I hops. I WanNa say thank you. Flip them again. I told him Nigel outs. Because after Jank 'cause he says that's nine Chad Chad. Johnson the forego behind her for the job shipping container on eight Chad polls and undertaker. Yes so funny. I laughed out loud in that scene. When he's he pops out of the darkness of the forklift and he yells the guy's name. That was the best part of the movie. I grew Haiku Watch. I can watch that in one hundred times. Then Alexan- Chad Hug and Chad Pushes Danielle Towards Alex. Who then they hug. And then frank shows up from wherever the hell he was stuck in and then they give big old oak freeze Raymond. What a terrible way to end on a freeze frame with just one of the John Claude. Van Damme's giving the okay so I. I texted. I TOLD THEM. I texted in all capital letters freeze frame ending as soon as it occurred because I didn't want to spoil it for you so I can put it into group jet one of the worst. Freeze frames frames. We've seen this is one of the first and long time but yes great one. I wanted the end to be Alex and Chad fighting to the death over Danielle Argon. They just they. They kill Shang- They kill. It's Nigel right. They Kill Nigel. Griffin which is a super British name by the way that's like the most British name ever Nigel Griffin. They kill both of them and they meet their eyes. Lock and Daniel shows up and then it's just like mortal combat styles round one fight and they just go at each other and it's just nothing but kicks really just constant kicking constantly kicking. And then you know. Alex probably kills Chad. And in Justice League asserts his dominance bangs. Danielle on Chad's by. But it's still not as good as the sex that he imagined them which took fonts awesome forever. Not as good as Chad. I keep telling you within do anything. Lie To me but she she is giving like a look like she wants something to happen on that boat they she does give that like little like side glance kind of thing when she's walking away. Yeah she's like oh. I hope he doesn't come down right now. I don't know what will happen right. Oh No my towel seems to have fallen. I wish someone was here to pick it up so they might have done it they might have. They might have banged maybe missionary but I wish that would have been such a Gr- cut away if you have. You know like he follows her down and we cut back. I can't even get it out without laughing. We cut back to Alex and he's having his meltdown and he's imagining Chad. Just doing all these exotic difficult pokes it cuts back to Chad. This super boring. One pump missionary very unsatisfying for there's no music playing in the background and that's it. It just becomes uncomfortable after a while. Look of disappointment regrets. It takes fifteen seconds of my life. It's so good. I'm actually crying. Well ship but yeah I would have paid good money to see that cut and that that's the end the double impact out. What do you think? What would you do to make this better? I think so much better. Yeah Yeah I like the idea of Uh Oh my God I need to catch my breath. I like the idea of like totally swapping places you can keep it action oriented but yeah. I think having Chad kind of have to fend for himself on the streets of Hong Kong while Alex is trying to get accustomed to this very Buji lifestyle would be a pretty interesting take on it But Yeah I just like it just plays over and over in my head now. Alex is just imagining Chadd. Bain or just going to town on Danielle and it's really just terrible sex that's being up. That's what my mind keeps going to Yeah in maybe afterwards. Like he's talking to to Daniel about in league. Listen he was he was terrible. He was the worst. I've ever had thank God that I'm with you and it just really makes alex feel better about himself and because he was all down about it right. Let's go you know my brother banging my girlfriend. And he's probably awesome added. I know he was abused. Pretty bad your way better than him. Go all right. Well now I know for sure would you? Can you imagine being compared to your your twin brother by the way which one of us was the better delay? That's gotta be kind of Awkward Right. Yes I never. I hope. I hope you know if I have kids. I hope that I have twins first of all because that's a nightmare but I if I do have twins that they're never compared by the same woman he's I don't WanNa wish that women smart. She tells them they were both great. Because then you just keep going forever right here on same room then. It just becomes awkward. Teachers walk away at that point. We'll then they can occupy the same space and then you never know it could be a top GOP situation. I wished real twins acted on time. Cop Logic we've been screened can never be in the same spot at the same time. I can't go to the same school we can ever hug. Hug It just. It's a life of misery for twins really. I've never known what it's like to embrace my mother. If you if you wind up for some reason having twins you could raise them to think that how ships I'd be the shittiest father ever like no. You can't touch each other. You'll disintegrate if you do want to die. That's a way from fighting each other. The imagine though where if I tell my twin sons daughters and they go to school and they have a meltdown and the teachers will. What the Hell's going on? I can't touch. My Dad. Said one of us were die. Watch time cop you idiot. I'm pretty sure I would be probably put. It'd be worth it for the first few years of their lives and then the the psychiatric bills come in. It was like The best idea. Do you think I would get more respect in prison or less respect if I told them like my soul mate? Why were you here for? I told my kids that they weren't allowed to touch each other. I was one of them. Would die time cop rules. There would be a moment in like a comedy or like a dark comedy movie where you know the you know the guy goes. It tells what he did. He's like Murdered Multiple Branko Ball. And all that what did you there in Utah. Man. That's dark. Jesus Christ. CouldN'T I murdered? I murdered the sky and I've skinned his face off. What about you told my kids that if they touch each other one of them would die? Jesus Christ you're a psycho I think better my My only thing to make better would be disapproved the beginning and make it a little more drawn out than just dropped in the first ten minutes you know about the. I would have sorry when you guys suggest making things longer. I just. I don't know what's wrong with you not making This is our forty minutes. Maybe a little more. It is long enough. I guess was more not so much longer. But instead of just making a ten minute info up like have them. Oh we have to go to Hong Kong. But when they run into each other like the back the back they hit each other and then spin around sure. Yeah SORTA thing is how they find out about each other like that is what. I mean more than. Hey that's your brothers your brother. Your father's dad was killed by these two evil guys. Let's go get them. Just make make that ten minutes like an actual action scene. I if they thought they were each each other's mirror like hand and they walked by and come back real quick. I think this movie was done better with Beverly Hills. Ninja in a way. Because you have a you have Chris Farley whose brothers with What's his name. Rob Robin I forget. He was in mortal Kombat. He was looking. I think he would have been better that way where they do know each other like the twins know each other ones this prim proper. You know doesn't get his hands dirty and the other one obviously it's more rough and tumble where one who's rough and tumble is always saving the other one. And then when you know Alex in trouble somehow Chad is able to reach deep down in goes off and Kung Fu fighting. Plays in the background and Yeah something sort of like that but you because you were right in at one point it ceases to really be that their brothers you know. It's just like they're they're just they are brothers but it doesn't mean anything all my God. I need to save my brother. Just like you're right. They're just there it doesn't. It doesn't matter that they're twins. I mean it doesn't even matter that they're brothers really for because they know none of the one. That's my brother. I gotTA protect my brother. It never comes to light that the the one cares about the other right. That's true too. Yeah it's just like they're just two guys really. Yeah and then it's they have a mission and they are just. They happened to be brothers. Yes the only part that a twin could've come in the factors if they do that thing where someone wants older than the other by minutes or something like that. And that's why he would get more of the dividend than the BASALTIC. That's the only way twin even matters in this movie and then they fight to the death over the dividend. Yeah I just wanted to see them. Fight to the death really or the guy finally double team somebody without fear of appearing why this came before time cop right no ninety one. I think so ninety one yet capitals ninety. I think that's right. Okay Yeah I am. One came out before if this had come out after time cop and I would have liked to have seen the kind of time cop call back if you will. Maybe they go to high five and like well. Maybe not touch. It turns out what I would do better. I've already mentioned doing kind of a having. Having the twin thing mean more than what it doesn't this movie I mean I guess they just got. They only had to pay an actor once they didn't have they didn't have to pay to actors. I think that's what this accomplished And I guess it's stroke junk Claude. Van Damme's Ego a little bit. Because apparently he likes playing dual roles But you know what you guys had suggested More or less makes plenty of sense Some now Mary Fuck Kill. Include Alex Chad or Mister Moon. Yikes Alex Chatter Miss. Wow that's tough you can't Fuck Mr Moon. I'm pretty sure he fucks you. Sure I don't think you could kill Mr Moon. Because he would kill you such think Mr Moon just kind of runs. He runs train on all of us right. And just hope that will but then you're subjecting yourself to a lifetime of abuse really because he's not he's not gentle in any sense of foreign sense of the word I think you if you can kill Mister Mooney Kill Mr Moon A will you're going by. Alex is imagination Chad. And then you marry Alex Right. 'cause the looks like Chattel he'll he'll show you the world man. Well that's why you marry the right. But then but then the sex grows stale review. You want that one time fling with with Chad. And he'll he you wanting more I think but I but at the same time Alex will probably be you in a long. That's a good point. That's the point right. 'cause he'll get drunk if he thinks that you're paying someone else and hails the jealous type and then right because then that leaves you with like explaining. Weird Bruise on your Eilly. Oh I ran into the door. This is the third time on that you run into the door to add everything. Okay with Alex it's fine. I promised Alex is a good guy. Yeah I'm definitely killing Mr Moon. I'M BANGING CHATTANOOGA MARRYING ALEX. I said they're both rich. So that's true. They got that sweet sweet tunnel. Money their their total baron mark. Yeah so the only dad really change is I would I would kill Alex Marry Mr Moon and and Fuck Chad. Because he would be softened mile interesting and then the other way kill Mr Moon Fucking Alex One night stand and a marrying jed okay. Yeah I think you're you're way is the right way quickly. The right answer. Yeah but I. I think again just just by going by what Alex thinks. I want that one time. I don't know if I get him a little more than once. Everything's always is the big production where you're just like. I just this kind of really need a hand Jabarin. Yeah I don't I don't need to be you know plastered against the wall and or you know. Bend over barrel shown the fifty states. I just want something nice and tender. Not Nice and tender. I just want something easy. I feel like with him. It'll be he can't get off unless it's something crazy like he's gotta be doing like like holding me up from you know all crazy ways. I don't need that. He probably has a sex swing in his room or something. I don't want that put me on the bed. I'm I'm I'm easy going. I'll consider I will consider the kitchen counter. That's as far as I'll go where we know he can do. Splits on exactly yeah? I'm sure he wants to do that. At one point you know. Come on man. Let's let's just start you'll put up with. You'll put up with an abusive partner in terms of just like pretty easy sex right and then after a while. I don't think he's GonNa want it very much in these podcasts. I revealed a weird amount. How what GOES ON IN MY HEAD? I guess it. It's very strange very strange. How my mind opens up with these things? Because I know it's fake people all right. It's fake it's never going to happen. I'm ever going to Bang John. Claude van Damme Right. That's why can go this this crazy. I don't want people like Jesus Christ. Dan has really like contemplated. How he's John Clock date would always go to town on him. I appreciate that you don't use these sections in my Gar posts because then my family members would see really okay. Maybe we don't talk to Dan for Awhile. Jed hasn't seen I'm looking. I guess that means that she's not listening that's true. I just tell her when to stop. Don't listen to the last ten to fifteen or so Zip Yeah Do you WanNa one twenty two on twitter. Follow me there. We'll have some fun. We'll have some laughs will cry At Stranger Dame's For the twitter for a real play. Dnd I we're also on instagram. So same thing at stranger dame he's Love talking to all of the community on their bunch of great people. Follow a lot of other. Good Indie podcasts. If you're looking for a nother real play. Dvd podcast go on there. We have a ton of friends on there and yeah. That's it for me. Stranger daime airs every Wednesday Episode posted yesterday the first of a new session which These next four episodes I think Is a good start to our next arc of the campaign So before to everyone out there hearing it And we have a game. Pod CASTS A had. An episode on Monday You know we talked about our favorite controllers we picked new thing for the rhetoric So be sure to listen to that you can listen to all them on. twitter I tunes Google play anywhere. You get your podcast We also have a twitch channel for Gable pod Go there extreme about four or five days a week so yeah. That's basically why I don't watch a lot of movies yeah go check us out there and the twitter's at Stranger Davies and ask Gameball pod So check us out on the social media's all right yes and this is the movie you can find that they called some movie. Dot pod being dot com and anywhere. You get your podcast research for. They called smoothie shop right up. We're the main daime at the main daime dot com and on all social media platforms at the main Daime Search for that Facebook instagram twitter. The main Damian will and we'll be there we're also proud member GEEK VIBES nation. Gv NATION DOT COM is the main website and Geek Vibes nation on all social media and podcast streaming APPs. They got a bunch of great shows. Dan mentioned the top ten with Tia. They've got other of great shows The the network has something for everyone comic stuff. Tv stuff you name it. They have it And I am at andt Delvecchio on twitter you can find me there And that's my personal one but the main daime if you want us to contact with us. Twitter is the best way but you hit us up at the main naming had gmail.com suggest. A movie suggest a question. If you have any questions you want to add have us raise at the top of the show or something like that. Feel free to ask. I think it's going to wrap it up the director. What a double impact spooky is Sheldon Leach so for Dan Acquino and mark minors. This is anthony to call you minors. I think we'll go with Dan. Aquino and Mark Meyers this Anthony W telling Sheldon Leach to go fuck himself.

Danielle Chad Chattan Alex Claude van Damme John Claude van Damme Shannon Frank John Alex Griffith Zhang Franken Danielle Franks Chad jet Groove Griffith Sean Claude Van Damme Franken Daniel Hong Kong Griffith Jiang Dick Right Mr Moon Jim Carey Dan Brussels
Ep 6  STREET FIGHTER with Joe Cabello

Shut Up I Love It

44:56 min | 2 years ago

Ep 6 STREET FIGHTER with Joe Cabello

"Hey everybody. I'm Sasha Filer Cohen and this is shut up. I love it at podcast. Where guests come onto champion of part of culture. That's underrated and or underappreciated joining us today. He is a TV and film writer. He wrote for the show five at three zero five one PREMO TV and he hosts the screenwriting podcast beat it breaks down the main story beats of Colt junk food movies. I've listened to that podcast. It's really entertaining well. Thank you and guess ask what I've done a podcast episode about what we're talking about today. Our guest is Joe Kabala. Can you AOL. I should have corrected you before. We started recording that way. This didn't happen but I'm all about the controversy in the conflict 'cause that double. L. IS A YEAR EH double. I think it's educational moment for a listener. I think we should absolutely leave it in and it'd be honest. My father mother and sister also Cabello so I'm wrong. If you did Leslie Contel you to pronounce it. Those were the now nobody tells me to do anything. You'll you'll see about that soon enough. Let's get this leaving don. I used to be called Cabello. Something like eight years ago listen. I don't like what you're unearthing here. I feel like maybe I'm not necessarily in the wrong. I never really said you're wrong. I corrected you Carr's. Today's joking bail and Joe. What are we talking about today. We're talking about the movie streetfighter starring John Claude Van Damme Nineteen ninety-four four year release great year a films a year for all of us. I don't even remember what other films were came out that year but one of the first big video game adaptations and do does anyone know stop their head when the mortal. Kombat movie came out. I think mortal Kombat was later like ninety six or ninety eight yeah so say this big one. I know it's considered fifth worst of all the video game indication yeah. That's a good question. There's no way that's true. There's so many by one director what's the director who did Paul W. O. Boll Weevil as done probably the five worst videogame adaptation tation movies so mortal. Kombat came at your after this nineteen ninety-five so Paul W S Anderson probably saw this movie he was like Damn I gotta get in on this well. There are two movies that could probably ended up being very similar in a different timeline and universe but are very different also. Do you think well I don't want to say the mortal. Kombat movie was discouraged by this. Because this movie made its money Back Street fighter talking about yeah. It was not well received here but internationally made a three times over budget ninety million. I think that was a box office success. I was curious about that about like what the international release of of this movie might have been like because now global releases the most important thing right. If you're movie doesn't do well in America doesn't really matter that much jam plenty of movies. He's do well worldwide right if you can mine and kill it in China than your olden but I wasn't sure what it was like in nineteen ninety four in that way exactly the same and even the social issues where exactly the same. We don't move forward Joe. Why do you like them. Lennie Okay streetfighter is the story of American have so much to talk about when we get into John. Claude van Dems American yes John John Van Damme is playing an American colonel in the allied nations named Colonel Guile and Colonel Guile has a big rivalry with a would would be world dictator m bison played by Raul Julia as last role in our love the movie yeah it's dedicated to him and the credits along along the way of guile trying to bring down Bison. We meet all of our favorite street fighter characters. Sean Lee played by Ming Ma Wen the voice of Milan and also also from Er and I think from agents shield is yeah. I do not now that can be played by Kylie Minogue. we've got e Honda. I just you have to insert quickly had a love affair with John. Claude really yes wild. He was on the break from his current aren't wife so he was married to his current wife twice woman who is still his wife today yes and the cheating he was doing with Kylie. He was not only on the woman that he is currently with but also on another woman he was married in between the current wive marriages. Let's it's not talking about street fighter. Let's just talk about this. There's enough hot gossip around st by making to talk about just that well. Let's see e Honda. I wonder who in this movie is a news van driver Peter. I'm not going to try to say 'cause. I'M GONNA mess it up. Does anyone want to take your shot at that twice as SOPA. Hey that sounds nailed l. Get a west duty as got classic actor. If you have a favorite street fighter character from the Arab street fighter two they are in this movie. They are tired. Terry impressed by how comprehensively they included the characters from the game including doll seem. They're likely we'll find a way to put Dawson in the movie will give them a profession and he house and that most characters don't drew. You're wrong about that. All the characters I have an Arca except for arguably the most important which is generally. Let's start off with you telling us why you love love. Would you say you what about this movie connects with you so deeply well. I think you do have to separate the movie from streetfighter okay to enjoy it. Specifically specifically streetfighter to the credits make very saying this movie is based on the street fighter two yeah which there's a huge difference between streetfighter one st I okay to to where they're almost like separate games even though it is streetfighter changed everything for fighting game and that's the one that they've been remaking the Adler. There's so many versions of it so it's like. It seems odd that someone would say oh. This is the second it's not off the street fighter series but the second one but if you think about it at the time like street fighter the first one was just kind of whatever game and not very good or beloved but street fighter two was a phenomenon across the world especially Japan and so we have to separate strider movie from Street fighter two yeah and I think you have to do that with any of the video game movies of the time. I feel like you should do that with any kind kind of adaptation about the movie annihilation that came out last year with Natalie Portman. That's based on a book and from what I've read. The book and movie are very different. I loved it movie not to get distracted here yeah but the amazing film you know you just have to separate that and appreciate that matches their own form of art same thing with like under the skin write that book. It's very different from the Scarlett Johansson movie but they're both valid pieces of art. Yeah I think it's hard when you have something beloved like that. like they're making a monster hunter movie and I love Monster Hunter and I'm sure I'm GonNa hate it and be so mad and not be able to watch it on its own but given time now we're far away from street fighter and we've had worse streetfighter movies than this one. If you're even going to call this bad the rise of Sean Lee is much worse than this. That's like holy unconnected active from this movie right yeah they're not it was trying to launch a new streetfighter universe. That didn't take but I do think you have to take this as a don't compare it because that's where a lot of the why this movie is so bad comes from this is just a great. Nineties Action Movie And an ensemble one to which that I think is also what makes it less than perfect movie. It's hard to write that many characters and they had to capcom wanted them to add more and more characters as the movie was getting mad so ye see like every characters barely in the movie they very little time so what they do end up doing with each of the characters just to give them some sort of arc and something to kind of like strive for and grow. It's actually pretty impressive. Yeah I was surprised by how even John Claude van. Damme's uh-huh guile doesn't really do anything until the last thirty minutes of the movie even well. He drives a boat. He plans the boat but he dies. He's very little in this movie but he's pretty much like the main character and the main thrust of the more in terms of like Jean Claude abandon action. They are three kicks. WHO DOES THE FLASH KICK YEAH. The actor doesn't kick three times but they cut it three times so to a person who's watching his nineteen. ninety-four especially in a different country less sophisticated. Maybe knowledge of movies. They see it as like whoa three recall kicks but it's really just a replay well. That's also like something that's kind of fallen out of fashion with action movies and was big in international shnell martial arts films as he would just show the cool thing in three different angles because it was done for real when you can actually have actors who can kick or jump kick or do something cool will you. We're going to put three cameras on them to show it and explosions but he wasn't shooting a lot so I'm not surprised in that reason why he's not in a lot of fights fights I think he was not in this. He wasn't able to film. He was too busy doing ten grams of cocaine. During these years and spending ten thousand dollars a week doc and Banging Kylie Minogue ten grams a day sounds like a lot. I don't know much about cocaine habit. I don't I don't really do it enough enough to know the facts of ten grams but I was told that third of that would be like an severe habit third of that of the three point three three. Yes severe habit but yeah I think this is such a fun just ninety action movie and I think anything you were really criticize. Desai's about it. You're Kinda just criticizing about an era of action movies and genre. Maybe in about the tropes so I mean that's certainly any fair but if there are certain movies you like especially Stephanie desouza movies. Probably this falls a little in line with that and I feel most people just simply simply don't like it because yeah gyles Belgian. This movie is not I mean it is worth thumb sticking joe you have experienced with the Games right. You're familiar with the street. I really only know the characters kind of through you know. Cultural is Moses. I've played street fighter two a couple of times so I don't don't really know the background so guile is American the game because each each character represents a country or area and he is the American ones. That's not that's not something they could have changed. Is what I'm asking like. Capcom was not. GonNa let them be like okay now. Guile is Belgian well. Capcom was was pretty involved with the movie and they're the ones who wanted more characters to be added even though originally yeah they were very excited for the changes and like they. You weren't like Hey e. Honda can't be who I needs Japanese. They didn't really I don't think there was as much like a knowledge of fandom sure yeah as we have now to know like Oh. No no the fans want to see the characters in case you you forget for a second that Captain Iles American. There's American flag on his okay like they could have changed right like I think there wasn't much of like even the the knowledge of the characters that they got all that has grown you know over time here. Stephen Dec- Zada write a movie was given some character actor BIOS yeah. There's not much you can really discern from the Games but he still had to write a movie and then on top of that people are pushing certain casting with Jean Claude van Damme allow people to not have him as an American in the movie because I think that's his thing I think internationally worked people thought that he's he's just like American like people knew his Belgian but people also will like I totally by him as an American because it was dubbed that's very point you know like to an international audience silence. I'm saying as a person who grew up in Siberia. I never thought of him as not American. I guess like if pressed on the OB like I guess his name is frank so he's probably friend called him. The muscles from Brussels well it the movie itself kind of takes place in psych almost futuristic world where the the allied nations. Are there like a post-national world. Yes sir. It's still our world because Martin Luther King Junior did exist. Oh was Hitler one of the people the flashing images of Lanka nobly but I think you know things like Dawson. Being a scientist who turns into what is character actor looks like toxic that the things that I thought was so fun about this movie was how pretty much every character besides like m bison starts off not really looking like what their character looks like in the video game and then by the end of the movie everyone one is wearing the which is so bizarre because Kennon Reu- their costume is the bad guys uniform you know isn't that so weird you can just rips the logo off off of the G. Yeah that's his uniform but if this was a movie mortal combat I think you could easily stick to the character tropes but then it's just a tournament movie like we've seen a tournament. I love a good tournament movie and in a way. I wish this was one right. It's baked into the premise of mortal combat combat like you would think if you're going okay this tournament movie. I think they were trying to do something a little bigger and different and I think that's why it might still a bad trim streeter movie. It's a better action movie than would just be a tournament movie especially. If we had streetfighter the tournament movie and then mortal combat combat. I think those two would always be connected. One would look worse and be worse be regarded worse but instead. We get this really fun like basically you like spy action movie. I have never played the video game but I'm told my research tells me that mostly. It's just fighting right the video one on one fighting fighting you progress you fight. Bison Yeah Yeah you're moving across the globe right Joe. You're fighting countries. That's why is the reason why the guile thing is so weird is just because it is about fighters from countries like specific countries so you can't change their countries. Ken from he's American Oguz Americans yeah like ones east coast ones West still I think both Ken and Reo are American can described as American con artists but they only con criminals. That's the important thing about them. is they're bad they're Robin Hoods and away and the concept that they're pulling at the beginning of the movie is they're. They're claiming to sell weapons to SA- got but instead they sold him NERF guns. Actually this is where the law because because all of a sudden I was presented instead of Jean Claude van Damme whose characteristics himself I was presented with two characters who lacked charisma cameron and like especially the white dude. He was sick for a lot of the production doing it shows in some key scenes where he just looks bad knows. It just doesn't look like a lead man that like I love the character of can I think he's so cool so just because this film. It's not a tournament film but there's Loonier plot that we're following and that was something invented for the film doesn't mean that it was comprehensible to me. I had to turn a lot to wikipedia tissue late regroup and be like so that was happening in the film. I felt like a lot of storytelling was still very messy for me to follow along. Do you think it's for the lack of my knowledge of the video game or I don't think it would be lack of knowledge of video game because the movie doesn't fall video game. It is a little bit weird like when the the second act break is him faking his own death so that they can do their spy mission with cannon Rio but that's a weird because your characters dying you now now and your main character being an ensemble film it passes it to Kenan Review at that point yet. Who is the main character. That's the problem is like the kind of lack lack of main characters in it being Jean Claude van Damme. Maybe if that wasn't John Cod van Damme there would be less like junk van empty dude his supposed to not die I twenty five minutes into the movie and even though he's faking his own death you're still like your plan as the hero is to fake your own death and not do anything for half of the Second Act. You're the person that m bison wants to he. You are kind of the driving force for the villain in a way and you've picked out and it just active lead character. I mean all of a sudden he disappears for awhile magic. Show and you make this plan with Guile to make it look like they've killed him so they get kind of brought into cigarettes crew and Scott and Bison making weapons deal and Chun Li's. They're undercover as an acrobat performance that everybody everybody loves. We've learned by this point that Chun. Li is not just a news reporter. She is a martial artist. Yes trained in the martial arts of three continents to get revenge on him bison so she's there for that reason as well which she never really get man. It's so disappointing because has she almost takes him out. Yeah she almost takes down by Senate like the forty five fifty minute mark of the movie and then she never gets too good. She's just fighting. Anonymous bag is the big fighting and she's not even doing that much of that. Everybody gets pretty full arc work and get some sort of retribution to something they've done in the past except for her. She gets her shot and then it's it's like Oh gyles GonNa kill 'em bison now and the reason that she doesn't get it is because her friends are outside yelling her name and she gets distract yeah. That's the at one point. I don't really like I wish. She got more of her bangs. If you do hair bangs go all the way covered the forehead. Don't just the three little hair of some kind yes she gets. I would say the most like emotional impact out of anyone in the movie movie right like she has a whole monologue to m bison about how he killed her father. Which is where you get that great line from Julia about how the day advice I M Bison visited your village was the most important day in your life but for him bison it was a Tuesday and then like it. Just doesn't get anything anything else to do for the rest of the movie. Yeah that's definitely a bad thing and guile yeah guile and Bison has your friend and you're the hero but who cares we'll I expected some love connection and chemistry at the end and there's just this awkward moment of them standing next to each other well. It's weird because like Cami Cami obviously has feelings for him but then he's just like whatever like except with Chun Li like it's just a weird moment at the end. Wait wait. Don't give them the chance at two girls and then having choose and just because you're really having sex with Kylie Minogue. We don't need to see that in the movie and what he says to Chun Li is that he will let her interview him as long as she wears the dress that m bison has made her winner was a different era a- all the men in the movie are kind of salivating over her can gets drawn into a trap because he's got the hots for because he thinks he can hook up with a UH. Uh after her magic show and Bison also clearly puts her in this dress for a reason that scene was supposed to be a lot darker for me like he's. He's trying to take advantage of her sexual. I think like he invites nine invites. A he forced her into his room and all of a sudden we see the digits like chatting being as they're like changing to different outfits. There's like little. Chad hats grade seen though and notice how the costume is for everybody. It's like some sort of shackle or piece of shame they put on which is the reason why they later fight in the Games. You know you can see the games in a different light because because you know what they're wearing isn't necessarily symbol of pride. It's the symbol of the darkest day of their lives that now they fight harder for That's not a real real thing I just said but you know you can take it that way when you can have your own head cannon right yeah when I play the Games I think about that now because of this movie that is in a way the cannon to street fighter is Kaneria Skis aren't from their master their from when they joined the evil organization Sasha. Did you know anything about movie you watched. It was like a brand new expand new experience. I mean my only connection is Jean Claude van Damme. I and I don't actually remember any of his films growing up but I remember him being look an icon in Russia when I was growing up and people were obsessed with him and his it looks and there was even a pop song that went something Guy Singing Jean Claude van Damme. I won't gave her to you. Oh man like girlfriend fell in love with John. Song by watching films and so now he cannot connect with his girlfriend yeah well because she's so in love with John but he's not just going to give up without a fight. How goes you'RE GONNA fight. Someone probably not Zhang Van Damme primarily. No these muscles a pretty pretty intense. He definitely worked out. You know people like to make fun of him because he's been in some cheesy films and he's kind of you know been coked out in his past but he's a legit guy. I I love so many of his movies. This one's pretty high up there as far as his movies. I don't know if it features him the best not as much of a Jean Claude van Damme movie despite the name being above the time yeah if feels like it is but then it really isn't saw react them Joe to the fact that he is sounds like Tommy was from the room and I mean it like they sound exact same makes me feel like maybe Tommy is from Belgium or time. He was so inspired by hi Jean Claude that who wasn't self sound examined. Tommy is like a workout freak correct right. He's got those freaky muscles. I think there's some sort of conspiracy there sure it's wrong but they're so yeah. He's cadences so off. Everything sounds very over pronounced when jean-claude speaks how you connect with him despite that I feel like to me that's just a Jean Claude van Damme movie like he's never spoken well L. in any movie from that period is a part of his can heal maybe in a way but at the same way Arnold Schwarzenegger's voices like it's Kinda the total package it's everything everything together and for me as a fan of his movies growing up. That's just Kinda what I came to expect so it didn't stick out to me on the level of it being being compared to the video game everything about it pisses me off so when I do think about it as a chance and making a street fighter movie it shits the bed so badly and it makes me mad to think about who can enroll you are and what story they decide to tell but when I think about it that way really he speaks with an accent you can say that he owns it but but then there's so many cuddle ways in every single speech that he makes and a lot of times you don't even know he's talking because they've been using different takes can even handle Alec speaking as an actor because aren't he would own his lines and John God if he feels always a key stumbles over the words. There's long pauses between each of them. I'm just picking up on that but as a foreigner you just hate junk club I really don't I don't really have any feelings one way or the other but I'm interested in the foreignness of of his ensue plain American American characters well. That's one of my defenses of movie to it was a bad production to like stories of production. Were really horrible. I'd like the production designer this movie. I'd like the tactile activity. I don't know what the word is like. The sets like m bisons layer just looks really fun yet and when when he's the minds are coming up to get John Claude van Damme ship and he's using an arcade joystick. Yes so wonderful someone who doesn't doesn't understand video games and doesn't understand what anybody Julia had ever touched a joystick before that just hit it with both ends whereby you Steven. What is your connection. I only knew this movie by. It's kind of maligned reputation. I feel relatively gets a lot of credit still for this movie movie just because his performance is so extreme great evil character and very interesting and the fact that it was his last performance. You know it's infamous for that alone. He does do do his great like I only his is like bugging out as the movies Best Special Shaw and what about when he got and he goes. You didn't see that covers is i. It's like dude. Are you just being addict because this guy the only has one eye able isn't as crazy. You're like you've had these long beautiful speeches and said great words than when you snap you're just GonNa be like your fat. Just choose the easiest thing to pick on someone. He's human is what I'm trying to say and it really is a humanizing moment. Stephen usually play video games now. When I was a kid I did not play many video games. I play more now but fighting games never been something you have to like. Invest time I am in learning the mechanics of fighting game to to get really good at it and I just you know I usually would rather spend time playing like an action adventure game or something like that so I've never really gotten industry fighter so yeah. I didn't have any baggage on the like mythology aspect going into the movie so that may have affected. I did what I thought of it yeah when you think about rise of John Lee so this movie. This is a movie that came out in like the mid-2000s right with Kristen cruch from Smallville Malville as and Chris Chris Klein as who who I think is kind of trying to be Charlie. Oh and so charlie is Bunka right. Yes another is Charlie Care Game Caesar separate characters but the movie kinda combined. I don't even know if the character was made yet on on the wikipedia page it says the Charlie and Blanca is the same 'cause John Club. Damn definitely calls him Charlie. Even though Carleen Carlos type appease referred to as Carlos and Bison just puts it together. Oh yeah well John. I Know Matt Matteo. I know all of them. I Know Joe Oh Jose but that movie's really bad unwatchable bad and even has less to do with streetfighter. Somehow then one's more like a gritty kind of military movie right. It's hard to describe her lips. I wouldn't recommend watching it. The only reason would be to to make you like this streetfighter moving because you will like. It's hard to complain about the street fighter movie. After rise of Shenley is Chun. Li The only like real character that we know and love from the game in that movie or artists. That's how all like Zang gave. No it has people. You don't really care to see and not enough for them. I I forget which one specifically but it's just not. It's just not period. It's not anything you WANNA FUCK WITH IVA question for everybody. Who was your Favorite Street fighter in this movie. I have an answer go for brains a to another reason. Why don't like this movie. I liked Vega who has one leg is a pretty good depiction of a Vega in the movie. Vega is kind of a minion of Sa- got what he wears his mask and he has his wolverine claws and he's kind of an enemy for riot and yeah so this character it was very interesting character right away from me and bin Laden and then nothing happens all of a sudden he's he's abandoned forgotten and barely shows up at all in the movie after like brief introduction and fighting rear in the act one and I just felt like a missed opportunity to me well just like he plays the role of one of those side villains whose job is just to pose a physical threat but to me. It's a promise of the premise of some sort for this character. It's a promise you made to the audience like okay would just jamming all characters from video game or we're trying to make this story. That was the problem as the rider trying to debate comprehensible story but then Capcom was continuously saying now add this character and maybe like we can't add any more characters but I feel like Vegas does the job of He's supposed to fight view but guile interrupts erupts it. What are they doing then Rian Vega fighting. They finally saddle it. That's all he's supposed to really do in the movie seeing him as a a powerful character that then is only showing a couple of times in medium close up looking handsome. Not villainess crash have enviable enviable muscles. He's presented as like a beautiful man. He does fighting the prison to. He has a makeshift claw in the prison. He's a master. Dr Wicker work really knows how to do it. What about you guys. What are your favorite fighter. I think my well here's the thing so my favorite character was. Dj and I was very disappointed that he does not fight in the you. Don't see the escort. He's just kind of there to like react to 'em bikes ah just a punk ass when they all think that guile has died. Dj like Oh great this is great. News and Bison says something along the lines of no now. I'm sad and did you discuss okay yeah. He's a very good comic relief in he and he's just out there trying to get his get by in this world which which is all any of us can do and I really enjoyed his presence would have liked to have seen him fight someone yeah it's funny though he does play that role of like just the. I I just I clock in. I don't care about this as much as all of you right. He has no connection to the movement and basins wants to paycheck and I think they got. I think is depicted. Well Zangari is just a fun character Zanga Journal. That's an iconic line back that the whole time he thought he was on the good guys team and then he realized that the good guys so Zanga for your favorite streetfighter you gotTa pick one one zingy. If I really love he is by like Kenan Res Arc but I just love it I mean at nobody gets like such there. It's spread out yeah so much. That's the thing like any character that you consider your favorite is unfortunately going to be underserved by just the very structure of this movie in its ensemble nature it kind of reminded me of the like the early x-men movies in that way where they were so focused on and getting in as many recognizable x men characters from the cartoon or the comics that a lot of them ended up not feeling flushed out in any way yeah and it just feels like chaos when you see actual bunch of Mutants Place Dozens of student mutants and one's like floating plate another one's on fire. One is freezing the changing the channel with his eyes. Yeah you're like Oh. These people should be killed should be rounded up in murdered there too powerful the when you see it like that you know a lizard boy. Kill it so we've taught you know I think we've gotten a sense of why people might not why other other people besides you joe might not like the movies there anything else that you think fair or unfair prevents people from getting on board with the film I mean it's certainly not a perfect movie. The ensemble cast of it does make it so it is hard to connect a little bit and especially you know you see the box with John on Claude van Damme and then like. I said he dies twenty minutes in. Y- you just Kinda don't WanNa follow that because it's not presenting you necessarily the movie that you were promised sure you are promised in action movie you're thinking commando but with John Claude van Damme essentially so I think that can stop people from liking it also also who cares about a streetfighter movie that doesn't Follow Street fighter if you're someone at this point his just getting into streetfighter car while you're not GonNa like this movie but then that goes with any movie John Wick. Why do I care about John. Wet like just because he's John. Wa well what about Guile it can act with Colonel Guile. The nineties was interesting time for Hollywood compared to today right because like the existence of an Ip being the very reason to make a movie was not really the most important thing Hollywood at the time the way that it is now yeah it was very disrespected. It was a long shot that anything could work that people would even want to see it and now it's so common that it's almost it's the only thing that's getting me now and the only thing that gets any respect so you you get an original movie out. There and people are now whatever but then you know like oh it's from a comic that sold three issues although it must be built in audience everything it truly is but that's why you should check out street fighter the movie if you. Love Street fighter or if you don't if you don't know streetfighter madame then you'd love love a good action movie Sasha. Did you love a good action movie when you watched street fighter in general. I'm just trying to translate did you. What's your reaction to the film all right well. If we're going to rate this film which we are spoiler alert you know. I'm not a big action movie viewer but I do love die hard to establish the scale for me to rate streetfighter on so I would say that as much as I wanted to like this movie because because I suspect it's sort of fun action there was just a lot of really fights means and things that I do appreciate for the craft of it and stunt work work. I did not like this film because Jean Claude was just too much for me. God vandamme blew it. He a meaning senior care to blew it because he was just very spotty in the story hugest show up and then disappear were discussed earlier and I just wouldn't like let go the fact that he is a building dude who tries to sound America. I don't even know how hard he's trying or if he just really is that bath he thinks he's nailing it like Russell Crowe and Les MIS think he's nailing it. Does John Claude van Damme think he's nailing it here. I don't know so at that point in his career he had the ability wasn't nailing his uncle. I never not uncle Cain. If you're doing ten grand you're we're always either dead or that is like all throughout the day so I just didn't find him interesting or charismatic enough because I was so distracted by like the comedy that he brought in unintentionally by being like a dude from Houston Texas and it's just my idea like what he was trying to. I don't know if he was really trying to do from Houston Texas. I was also very disoriented in the action sees. I was very lost spatially like I didn't know where I was. Yes and to me. It's like a horror. Film is the same goes for like bigger action films. where I I need to know? Where's the danger like a lot of times to be like so weird. Kylie Minogue character character as opposed to where guile is like. I don't understand like close to show the other far from each other in the moment is getting lost and confused. You're not as engaged the film so I would say if diehard is a ten I would give this film three. I will say there is like a not deep sense of peril like in the last action seen as they're shooting and stuff and I think part of that's just it's cartoonish nature. It is a different type of action movie than die hard. I agree that the scale is not perfect yeah. I I was having trouble myself trying to think of like what belongs at the ten on this scale. It's nick movie. It is unique push audio syncretic mia so okay. If we're thinking about like fun and action films I would agree. Diehard is up there toward the top but I enjoyed my time with streetfighter more than I expected you too yeah. It's not a bad movie. You know like when you watch a bad move in you're like I need to turn this off because it's not like gripping anything like it's not so much like what I heard from. You may be more really deep. Specifics like Hayes voices annoying me this but like that's different front than these are boring seen bored because I was confused and yet spatial geography is super important for action films and horror films and yeah if you're if you're lost in the setting. It's going to be hard to connect. I also agree that like John. Claude van Damme is not the best part of this movie but luckily he's not in that much and there's there's plenty of characters to pick up that slack and going into the movie. I didn't know how self aware of the movie was going to be so I was. I was pleasantly surprised by a lot of the intentional humor in on the line earlier that I mentioned earlier with M Bison. Dj I also really like the part where Ryo fights fights Vega for the first time and there's a woman holding a sign that says I heart Vega and then someone rips reuse shirt off and he also has apps though not not nearly as good and she tosses her sign aside and it's different from the woman who was holding shoe different shots right they they shot an insert of that. They were like just wait. I need to get a shot of that woman who caller extra back. We need her for another day so the fact that the movie has these moments of successful comedy makes the unintentional comedic moments. I don't care so much about the unintentional part I liked the they're funny you know like from Twenty nineteen standard of like good action coming like the raid or something like that this is not anywhere near that ah but looking at the movie trying to meet the movie at the level that it's coming to me at. I had a pretty good time with it. I would give this a seven would big trouble in little China. Would that be a better comparison way because one of the best movies the time saying. Maybe this movie is trying to be that. I'm ways. That seems like a pretty good comparison point. I think the amount of fun and kind of like the amount of ideas India's especially in it being kind of an adventure movie. I think that's a good comparison. If you're comparing it to that well nothing can compare. The next episode of my beat at screenwriting podcast is actually on big trouble China. This is a great transition plug INS but at first we need to hear where this movie stand for you to to antsy joke. It's a joke I would say seven or eight. It's definitely go to fund watch and I've had to watch it a lot recently for the podcast episode but even before that I'd watched it within the last year before that and I watch a pretty often so the structure packers. You're breaking down. I break down the main story beats like as per. Save the cat or the you know the the usual. So how many times do you watch a movie for for that usually at least three more and sometimes just broken up or I'll have it in the background while I'm doing something like one just to watch and take notes then then if I missed anything then for quotes and things like that just to experience jean-claude you might want to you know just the Jean Claude scenes. I I want the John Claude cut where it's just his scenes so twenty would if that actually was working on a time chart for seeing seeing how much time is spent on each character throughout the movie and Color Code it and I have it and it took a really long time but it's a very thorough work. I don't know why even did it like it's not used in the podcast or anything like that wasn't really the point to talk about that but did anything stand out in the results. Just that like it is really spread spread and Jean Claude van Damme like just disappears for huge amounts but then shows up for long periods of time driving a boat load of math feedback for us. No I did not memorize the numbers. Put this that meet Dr Dawson would be disappointed but maybe I'll ola finish it up and and share it. It's kind of it's so scattered that it's nonsense like it's just all these colors flashing but then I wanted compared to maybe a more a movie like die hard one character essentially yeah and I bet is just like long sections of just John Maclean and just seeing that stretch that start difference really shows what work do this. Stephanie Dec- As to to balance this whole movie so listeners sooners can go here you talking more about three fighter the movie on beat it yet at screenwriting podcast you can search that or get a joke obey dot com slash beat it. Cavale to wells and we have a transformers episode from The eighties the crib listened to that episode of was very entertaining and well produced. I enjoyed it and that episodes. It's special because at the end of it we basically steal the beats of transformers to make a new movie which is kind of a fun thing. If you're whereas screenwriter just do that steal a movie I mean just for practice and it'll end up being different like you wouldn't steal a house. So would you steal a movie. You went download the house. Isn't that right well. Thank you for being thank you for having me this really fun to get depend show and hopefully we got some new streetfighter fans. Did you come to the moving arts theatre on high period avenues second and fourth Thursday of every month or at nine. PM You'll see the direct to video awards. Thank you Elizabeth Salute for Arc Art Horton. Thank you Andrew Hayworth for theme Music Kanka Jay Hunter for production support. Thank you for listening

John John Van Damme John Claude van Damme Jean Claude van Damme Jean Claude Joe Capcom Kylie Minogue Raul Julia Sasha Filer Cohen Dr Dawson Colonel Guile Bison Sean Lee China Honda John Claude van Stephen Dec- Zada Kenan Res Arc
Really Awful Movies: Ep 323  Lionheart

The Really Awful Movies Podcast

25:06 min | 8 months ago

Really Awful Movies: Ep 323 Lionheart

"Up of the news this evening is speculation concerning the real facts behind the department of health announced spent about a radioactive spill. Supposed to have a cut yesterday at the state nuclear plant. You'll die only to live again in a young body. Then you could tell me if the operation was a success in your brain. You're listening to the really awful movies. Podcast celebration of sean cinema. Hi my name is chris. Along with jeff. We talk about movies. That aren't really awful at all horror action. Kung-fu musicals post-apocalyptic women in prison films. Much much. more think they can get away with murder. This is gasoline but they didn't count on one thing. Does he have any other relatives. Anyone else that possibly health gave up your family when you joined given. He's trained to fight for his life now. he's fighting for revenge. John thanks sure you wanna mess up that face handsome. They think it's a game. Wanna get keys playing for keeps but now he's facing the ultimate challenge a born killer. That's bum picked up stream bodies. The guy who rules are simple rules. The stakes are high. But tonight i did for my family. What's it gonna be you lose you. Die going to be simple lionheart redemptive. Toronto headquarters episode three twenty. Three of the really awful movies. Podcast lionheart the junk. Van dan before we get started. I thought adopt broadly. Divide action heroes into two sub types. I think it's kind of a bifurcated group. You got on the one hand. The more sullen cynical surly type-c throw in europe steven seagal into that category and the other side have almost cheerful optimism. Kind of pangloss. Everything is for the best throwing a little voltaire reference forty there candied everything that is is for the best boyish charm throw to that category red brown from strike commando and junk vendetta. He's certainly got a very a very positive. In relentlessly positive outlook in all the movies is in seemingly and in the case of lionheart. I believe this is the second film. i've actually seen him in in which he portrays a member of the french foreign legion. It's funny how you learn about things growing up. I mean for me. The french foreign legion was something. I'd read about much like ahead with the the the red baron in the world war one flying ace was through of all things the peanuts comicstrip and snoopy and woodstock in the comic strip would not frequently the dawn clothing of historical a boxer erez or something or or characters and i distinctly remember snoopy being the world war one flying ace the red baron flying around with the his goggles and everything and i also remember Snoopy dawning the french legionnaires had which is essentially like a ball cap with a flap on the back and they reference the movie beau jest which is a nineteen thirty s or nineteen forties movie about the french foreign legion. And it's so bizarre things come to you but apparently this force is one to which you swear fealty an oath the independent of the actual country france you've Swear an oath. I guess in canada would be to the queen or head of state and a constitutional monarchy. But in this fighting force which comprises all the colonies and commonwealth countries. I guess you could say of france. New actually use swear an oath to the actual force itself which i think is pretty unique and kind of while home bizarre so legionnaire was just the other claude van damme vehicle which he played that type of soldier and damned if i can remember single part of that movie so linhart. However he's he's a soldier stationed. I think it could be in morocco. But it's been a couple of days since i've seen this apologies but it should be said that there's very little esprit de corps in this particular What would you call it. Unit Infantry unit of the french foreign legion and he's run afoul of his superior and faces. Geez i dunno martial hard labor. What they would do for back. Talk into our man john. Claude has to. I guess escape the clutches because he faces against prison time for insubordination and he has to escape the french foreign legion and does so going out to sea and fleeing by boat and eventually getting picked up. Now it's pretty weird of thinking also that for better for worse Vindamme is maybe the world's most famous belgian. I was thinking about that. As i had this job where i was working at a research center. That the focused on engineering and aviation research at one of the local colleges. Here one of my colleagues was from belgium and was racking my brain trying to come up with some other belgians and all i could come up with was renting agreed the i believe. He's the surrealist painter who did the pipe peop- is that the guy. I hope so am open getting this right and i want to be culturally ignorant here but random agreed for sure and then i was thinking. Kim clijsters is basically a tennis player. So that betrays ignorance on the subject but for better for worse this somewhat. Cornball half i think french half flemish Belgians can unite the too often two solitudes of that country. He's again he's a very optimistic. And corny and friendly self in this movie and he ends up as a stowaway aboard the ship. And he Makes his way over to new york almost like a latter day immigrant else island or that kind of thing. Of course he's got no papers and he's an illegal alien with a call today migrant and left to fend for himself. But i guess anything is better than a hard labor. You know in the in the french foreign legion. As he's wandering around is one of the rougher burroughs. Let someone to call it the bronx throw that out his guest he comes across of all things a Underground fighting circuit which is such a hilarious and idiotic staple of action films. I mean you either have that the legs of the blood sport or kickboxer you. It's a pit fighting tournament or in in this particular capacity it's a street fighting trump and he is thrown into the fray takes on one of the fighters. I think it's under a bridge as well. So it kind of speaks to how edgy and urban and the kind of urban decay. That was happening still at the time this would have been filmed in new york city. He plays leon. Gotcha which really does sound like some kind of fall couture line but you gotta love these names like me. No talking about the other king of optimism red brown. He plays a character in strike. Amena called mike ransom and that's a manly action hero. Ask kicking name for sure Zone cloud in bloodborne kickboxer. Can't remember place frank dukes. That's also put up your dukes. Even though it's spelt do expert but That's asking name leon goatee net. It's maybe the guy who styles your hair. They quickly dubbed him lionheart and throw them into this virtual. A squared circle. I guess i think the origins of squared circle basically From bare knuckle. Boxing back in eighteen eighties but the Combatants fight one another and the spectators former squared circle around. Amanda let the best man win. Now don king to line hearts mike tyson. Is this character named joshua who agreed to be a fixer. For the young fighter with the no means green card no passport no money and fixes up a bunch of fights for him and becomes a sort of a guy to his new life You know under the table. Earning in in america trying to achieve this sort of misbegotten american dream of sorts. I guess you could call it and For some reason. I guess the pit fighting in the underground fighting tournament pays rather handsomely because he gets pretty big payoffs in that. I think. Probably unrealistic for this type of thing. Even in the lower rungs of the wanna-be get to the ufc type level. You're bound to make maybe three to six bills a fight if you're lucky and at least that those events are sanctioned has a referee maybe a doctor a nearby always think of that simpsons episode. Were dragic. Tatum is fighting homer simpson and and they're shouting somebody. Call a doctor. And the doctor nick rivera's sitting ringside yelling at drescher tatum to kill him. Kill him one of the funniest all-time moments in the simpsons. But anyway this pit fighting unsanctioned fighting attractive all sorts of near dwells in all sorts of people on the on the wrong side of all. That's good at particularly a A woman who is like the dana white of this kind of ridiculous circuit and who goes by the name the lady forget her actual Taya real name her birth name. But it's played by deborah renard. And who's i think a longtime soap opera but who covered and jeff just loves calling out this movie. Land of doom is insane post-apocalyptic ridiculous sandal and a sand dune buggy bozo. Movie with deborah. Renard is a lead character repeatedly positing that she can take care of herself too. Much comic effect a character in there who has a zouqi for some reason. I don't know why. In a post apocalyptic. Matt max world would want to play a greek stringed instrument. That's i can't remember the why that one by those hilarious movie. She the debra mark character plays the lady and tries to get in the good graces of this lionheart fellow and Even though he will have none of it and he basically just wants to in this whole plot driven by this nonsense about leon's niece who no longer has a dad because her father. And that will be leones. Brother is runs afoul of some very some evil drug syndicate That's always the case right. So he had some sort of a proven marching powder cocaine issue and ended up pushing up the daisies. Poor bastard cocaine kills. I guess so. This is really the means of propelling this Plot forward hey. I didn't say this chinatown. This is just a way of getting liangalo goatee from new york to la which is probably cheaper to film and getting him closer to his niece and so he can help out his his family although that would require think Heavy duty money laundering. If not just paying her outright in cash but we don't really delve into the particulars of how he's going to keep away from the prying eyes of the irs border patrol and immigration. And all that kind of thing but it doesn't really get into that what's hysterically. Funny is the ladies partner in crime. Which is brian thompson. Whose jaw is so square. Looks like he's got chewing tobacco perpetually shoved into his ma but he genre fans will love and no this guy from a hired to kill insane ridiculous action film where there's a bunch of mercenaries the bulk of whom are bikinied Giant tits who are forced to storm a compound so they can take out a drug dealers. It's bad shit and bizarre bonkers. And i highly suggest our listeners. Check it out. But he's also the uber villain and the antagonists to fester stallone in cobra and he plays a believe the nights i wanna say the night stalker. But that's the california serial killer richard ramirez. He's the night slasher ac. It's been a while since. I've seen cobra but brian thompson. His mistake -able figure and he's kind of another dana white figure and they basically a see potential in in our man leon gotcha who basically laying a whipping on a bunch of one eyebrow. The eighties early nineties hit a leather clad dummy goons he's just a beating them two bloody pulps repeatedly and that's there's really not much in the way of tension a dramatic tension this film. Because you know that junk load is going to administer beat down to whoever comes within a six foot radius Throw a topical covert reference. But you know what really is funny about. This film is just the places that these fights are taking take place in is just absurd lengths which the direct with which has director decided to set up. These meson sense. I mean you got one. That is a squash court which has to be some sort of cinematic. I If it isn't i mean that's something praised. The play the squash at the kid. But i stopped because it was ruining my tennis game is i was like i was a pretty damn good and still am i think. Pretty solid player but man that sport. Just it it re tools. You're a forehand so that your swings the ball trajectory goes down and that's not really very good for a Tennis player is the best shots in. Squash are the ones just above that. Red line but anyway. I don't want to delve too deeply into that but there's also leland goce fighting in a half drained swimming pool and one of the most absurd nonsensical scenes. You will see in action film and where they get these people to watch it to a sort of really pushes the boundaries of believe ability because a lot of these people seem like seem like a uppercrust almost sophisticates and. I don't know why they would be poking their nose in this unseemly belly of pit fighting and bareknuckle boxing but says some of these guys are very dapper dawning suits in the women are dressed to the nines including it should be said the lady who is just i mean. She's pretty smoking as well as might be the point of the podcast. Where i get to what i've learned in this film because there is going to be a i mean nothing says Think chewing on a toothpick. I mean that really conveys a certain. John wayne stoic. Ask kicking manley sensibility. go to say. Also i learned that the buddy aspect of joshua the fixer in the fight promoter effectively and lille is it hasn't tinged with all kinds of homo eroticism that makes it very bizarre and very funny and very odd but especially when you have shown claude van damme a all in in repeated shots and his musculature and everything turning down the advances of the lady and insisting to hang out with them in a hotel beside his buddy joshua and not really caring too much for the fairer sex and their companies that that was really odd. The another thing i learned was that john junkin van damme's niece is very like little orphan. Annie kind of she couldn't be any cuter. And god love him He's always the one to inject a little bit of pay of a little bit of subtlety in little bit of rain into his acting. In a way that i mean seagal tries in mint fills me to do and to varying degrees. The messrs nice schwarzenegger and norris and brown are incapable of large look. Broadly speaking I think john. Claude van damme. I is probably the finest actor among the bunch. And they're he's just ri again his relentless positivity he's just beat he's just effortlessly charming. His fight. scenes are pretty terrific. Although i don't think there's downward punching thing is to fantastic but like spinning roundhouse kicks. They're great and there's a certain crotch shot that he'd administers to a leather wearing a tough. That's one for the ages in hysterically. Funny this one is a again a much like some of his early nineties efforts as his career starts transition. This is a bit of a rotten tomatoes bottom feeder but. I think it's unfairly critically maligned like a lot of these films. I think it's just fun as hell as is mindless pure. Popcorn is nothing wrong with that especially during a cova morale trying to find some solace in sucker wherever we can't but guess just i mean his fighting's are pretty terrific as there's one particular that's in in some sort of underground garage and instead of the squared circle comprising human beings and spectators. It's a bunch of vehicles which is ridiculous because it's an inevitability i would think cinematic someone be thrown through the windshield one. Am i wrong here. I mean just mental just absolutely crazy it just one of the many many fantastic fight scenes not to mention the fact that there's a couple of bozos coming over from the morocco. I believe for algeria. The french foreign legion. And they're obviously looking for a wall man and the demos so absurd because they just basically let leo free absence a court martial any sort of reprimand and to say you know. The guy misses his His niece just let's just let him be into the french government to be damned so just as such a nonsensical coda to this film. But i mean when everything proceeding it is pure gobbledygook anyway in the style of cannon films around this time what can you do you put your brain in neutral. You put it in reverse hell. I mean it's it's an analogy that people say neutral but i think yeah maybe do Go backwards even men. This was just pure mindlessness. On as far as i'd say one of his better efforts. I think it's not. I think it's probably even better than cyborg in a now obviously You know i say that. He's a better actor than the other icons. Though one name icons like norris and nash wirtz therapy actually does have a connection dill chuck the oklahoma-born born ask kicking black. He actually worked as a bouncer at a bar that chuck owned and they they apparently got along famously and I think much like sa- gal. He's a rub some people the wrong way and that's that'd be. Jc d. think in his case because of some cocaine problems. Would i hope he's got that those Under control his substance abuse because he really is it. Just a really really cool dude. And i i just have such fond memories. Seeing the likes of kickboxer and bloodsport into these such a distal unmistakable. Figure in such a europe leasable icon is up there in the mount rushmore of a action hero. Something he's he's just the king in many ways and sherlock aspects of his record were a little bit spotty. I mean being top-drawer belgian kickboxer like being the the guy with the best teeth in england. I'm not sure it's like no offense. I'm kidding there yet. It's it's it's a small flat country with a reputation for being extraordinarily dull. And he's definitely nothing but i would argue that the countries rather beautiful too. If you get a chance you should go see brussels. Bruges is particularly stunningly beautiful. Had that chance to go there five years ago in it's like the the tangent but hey it's my my show on the and jeff and i can talk talk about what we want. But the historical center. Is i think unmatched in all of europe in terms of the sheer fairytale beauty. So i'm doing some work for the belgian tourist authority here but go go see bruges and hell maybe watch in bruges colin farrell movie. And see for yourself. I think it's colin farrell. Yeah i hope so in bruges but the j. c. d. the muscles from brussels. He's just a just a cool dude and this is a pretty cool movie. I'm gonna give this one a solid three and a quarter at five. Just put a smile on my face and Mind-numbingly moronic at times. But you can't fault. That kind of thing. I mean my god. This is like tour action. The for the most part in the story really a is a bit lacking but who needs a story really when you got to underground fighting tournament anyway. Be sure and check out her book. Quick plug here mine's bigger than yours. Hundred wacky action movies if you can guess the title that that that inspired that are book title for the film. That did yeah. Let us know that'd be really cool and showed out to my pal veronica in california. She's killing it with her site a hazard babies so for those of you. Who are looking for christmas gift. Who are fans of the show and like genre cinema particularly horror. She makes pretty unique in grotesque creepy dolls. The i know a lot of you like those kinds of things. And i mean you gotta love a good creepy doll. Regardless of weather annabel laura or chucky or anything but get yourself go to her site. Check out her stuff. Biohazard babies and i will talk to you soon. And we'll have a lot more action on the docket coming up as we round out the rest of the year. Take care

claude van damme sean cinema fu musicals Van dan boxer erez beau jest linhart leon Amena mike ransom frank dukes brian thompson dragic nick rivera drescher tatum french foreign legion dana white jeff deborah renard steven seagal
11 Trivia Questions on Friends Guest Stars

Trivia With Budds

10:24 min | 1 year ago

11 Trivia Questions on Friends Guest Stars

"It's eleven trivia questions on guest stars from friends the hit NBC Sitcom how many of these guest stars do you remember. This is trivia with buds. Her own what it be. Welcome to another episode of the Trivia with Buds podcast. I'm your host Ryan Buds. Thanks for checking out my shell like pop culture in the right place because today's as episode is all about friends guest stars I would say friends is one of the most requested topics that people ask me to do it. My Life Trivia Nights and last month the end of November I did a cool fun. Friends Thanksgiving friendsgiving themed Trivia and we had a whole roundabout the Thanksgiving episodes. We had a whole roundabout general knowledge from the show. And and we have this roundabout guest stars on the hit series. So I'm GonNa give you a character's name and who they played on the show and you gotTa tell me what actor or actress played. That role should be fun. Should be easy if you like friends. If there's a topic you want me to do in the near future you can donate five dollars a month over in Patriot. Patriot dot com slash trivia with buds. Leads if you donate five dollars or more you get put in a big excel grid where you can add topics every single month that you'd like me to do on the show and I will record them eventually so we have a bunch in the CAN. My brother Scott has been helped me catch up with that. So he's been writing a ton of quizzes for the grid I think he's written about fifty of them so I just have to to get around to recording them. Which is hard for me to do? In my busiest time of the year. It is the Holiday Season Holiday Parties Trivia parties. Bingo parties are in full effect. So bear with me if I miss a day on the podcast here and there I'll always catch up on the day after But for this week we got a whole bunch of fun stuff scheduled and planned for the show so I hope you are down for that. We have a episode coming up on the back to the future trilogy. We have an episode coming up on the movie Animal House and we have an episode tomorrow for our big Disney plus day. It's called babies and Yoda so. I'd love free. Listen to that if you have Disney plus and you've been watching the man to lorient and seeing all the memes about baby yoga everywhere where this episode will be about all things babies and Yoda. There won't be any spoilers from the show so if you have not caught up on it they will just kind of separated baby related rated questions and Yoda related questions and if there is something about the mandatory and it will not be very spoiler. As long as you've seen I guess the first episode but if you hear me saying Baby Yoga and Eh kind of spoils the first episode. But if you haven't been on the Internet in like a month then you would've been on that right that's how it works. Okay here we go. We're GONNA jump to this episode. It's going to be tons of fun. You're going to play along and I have a question for you at the end of this episode called the question of the day. Stick around for that. We give away prizes for the first person to respond social media with the question of the day. Answer so be on the look out for that listen to it and see if you know it. We're going to jump into these questions on friends. I stars right now here. We go all right here. It is the quiz on friends. Guest Stars Question Number One. We're looking for the actor. Who Played Roy Roy the stripper at fees Bachelorette party question number one roy the stripper at Phoebe Bachelorette Party Question Number Two Jessica Lockhart Joey days of our lives co star? Who played that character number? Two Jessica Lockhart Joey. Days of our our lives co-star number to question three Jill. Green Rachel's sister who played Jill Green Rachel's sister number three number four Erika. The mother of Chandler learned Monica's adopted twins number four Erika the mother of Chandler and Monica's adopted twins question five Steve a restaurant tour who get stoned before sampling. MONICA'S COOKING NUMBER FIVE Steve. A restaurant tour who who get stoned before sampling Monica's cooking number five question. Six Susan Moss Aka Susie Underpants Number Six susie Moss Aka susie underpants question number seven earl. A suicidal office manager. Whom phoebe tries to help number seven earl a suicidal office manager whom phoebe she tries to help question number eight friends guest stars almost done with this quiz? I hope your nail in at number number eight sandy a nanny that Ross and Rachel consider hiring for their daughter number eight sandy a nanny that Ross and Rachel consider hiring for their daughter. Friends Stars Number Nine Leonard Hayes Director of a play Joey in number nine. Who Played Leonard Hayes? A director actor of a play that Joey Stars in number nine number ten will bear former president of the. I Hate Eight Rachel Club number ten. Who played will bear former president of the? I Hate Rachel Club. And your bonus bonus question for two points when Jean Claude van Damme appears on friends as himself in what fictional monkey movie sequel. Is He starring in for two points. When John Claude van Damme shows up on friends awesome self? What is the name of the sequel? He's starring in that. Is Your Quiz for today. We'll be right back in just a second with the friends. This guest our answers. We are back with the answers to friends guest stars. I hope you had fun playing along with this quiz today. If you want more fringe trivia just search trivia area with buds friends on Google. And you'll come across a ton of episodes we've done we've done friends at least I don't know five ten times so just click away and listen on my Libson page. Someone told me recently that the I tunes APP only shows three hundred episodes at a time so the show has about six hundred and fifty episodes so that leaves another three fifty free to find on Libson or other podcasts streaming APPs. That aren't apple. That don't have a limit on. How many are I'm not sure for each APP? How it works but if if you want more friends trivia that might be something to look into or search for it on like stitcher or pod? Bean and different podcast listening APPS here the answers number one roy. The stripper at Bachelor Party was played by Danny Devito number one in episode. I had not seen until maybe a year ago. I somehow missed that one number. One Number Two Jessica Lockhart. Joey's always days of our lives. Co Star was played by Susan. Sarandon Susan Sarandon Great Actress and she's real funny on those episodes number three Jill Green. Rachel sister is reese reese witherspoon. I believe her. Other sister played by Christina applegate. Who forgets their child's name? But I believe Jill Green is reese witherspoon number four Erika the mother other of Chandler and Monica's adopted twins on affairs who is very funny on this show and is very funny in the movie. Just friends which came out a couple of years later I think it was two thousands six. Just Watch that movie with Ryan Reynolds and her and amy. I forgot her name but the blonde from that movie. Very Fun Fun movie. If you have not seen that holiday film just friends go check it out. Number five Steve Restaurant tour who get stoned before sampling. Monica's cooking was played by Jon Lovitz. Jon Lovett's number six Susie Moss a susie underpants is Julia Roberts that's episode. I forgot about. That's an early one. I think number six susie underpants number seven an early suicidal office manager whom fee tries to help is played by Seinfeld. Jason Alexander Number Eight Sandy Anani Ross and Rachel considering hiring for their daughter would be Freddie Prinz junior junior. That is a Unisex name but in this case sandy is a dude named Freddy prints junior number nine Leonard Hayes director play. Joey's in Jeff Goldblum. You could watch the world. According adding to Jeff Goldblum on Disney plus a number ten wilco bear former president of the I hate. Rachel's Club was played by. Brad Pitt. Very Fun Cameo when he was married to Jennifer Aniston Aniston but not for long and the bonus question for two points when John Claude van Damme appears on France has himself. And what fictional monkey. Movie Sequel is starring in that would be outbreak two outbreak outbreak. Two which does not exist. But maybe it should if you like monkey movies and diseases outbreak two. That is today's episode guys. Have Hope We. He had fun listening to that episode. And I hope that you tell a friend who likes friends trivia to check out the show if you WANNA do something for free to help me out around the holidays just share a link think episode with a friend say hey have you heard this guy. Have you heard of this Shell de Electric. Let's play these questions and gets more eyes and ears on the show for me. They'll be super super cool view. And you can always even itunes review and I'll send you a sticker and some other swag in the mail believe in Itunes Review. Just email me Ryan buds at gmail.com and say hey laughter after review on Monday and I will look at it and go sweet and then send me your address up with some stuff. It's time for the question of the day brought to you by Funky monkey designs of Sandy. Miss California go to them for all your needs custom apparel coasters. tablecloth covers T shirts sweatshirts all that good stuff. funky monkey designs. FM DESIGNS INC DOT COM. What is the name of the yellow piece character in a game of clue? What is the name of the yellow piece character in a game of clue? Tweet me your answers at Ryan buds or email Ryan buds gmail.com to be eligible. All for that prize. Yesterday is questioned that they answer was the bottom end for the group that had who had the dogs out and Trivia team name of today is E. equals MC hammer a name name. I think I've used before but I see a lot of trivia nights so there you go. That is today's episode. Thank you for listening. Thanks for telling a friend. We'll see tomorrow for more trivia with buds cheers uh-huh

Jill Green Rachel Jessica Lockhart Joey Monica Ryan Buds Leonard Hayes Erika John Claude van Damme Jason Alexander Number Yoda Sandy Anani Ross Susie Moss Steve Restaurant office manager Jessica Lockhart Disney president Director Jill Green Rachel Club Jean Claude van Damme
A Preview Of A New Show...

The Secret History of Hollywood

06:08 min | 2 months ago

A Preview Of A New Show...

"Hi there a very brief preview of a brand new podcast beginning this wednesday. The nineteenth of may make sure you go and subscribe. Now wherever you get. Podcasts readings to adam and i welcome you to the house of hamma. Each fortnight's will be leading you by the hand from room to room as we tell you all about the movies made by hammer film productions and when i say oh i really mean it. Hammet studios didn't just ten out the now. Legendary series of horror classics that began in the nineteen fifties hammet studios has reincarnated itself many times during the twentieth century producing horror movies crime movies science fiction thrillers drama comedy and even television series or two. We'll giving you a far more complete and comprehensive look at the incredibly diverse output of hammer film productions than he may be used to everything from dracula to quit amass from the woman in black two one million years. Bc from the horror frankenstein. To the hora of on the buses. Each episode will walk through the movies. One by one and tell you all about the hammer. Heroes made them happen. The folklore or inspiration behind the tails or as we like to put it the history of the mystery out. The story of the studio itself was playing out as each film was produced and of course the movies themselves. Are they worth rediscovering. And what place do they hold in the hammet story. And of course we'll begin at the most natural point the beginning which might be further back in time than he may but of course before we begin our toward the house of hammer interruptions over the honor of welcoming us. This inaugural observe belongs to me at roach creator of the secret. History of hollywood podcast as well as the writer and sometimes reiter or various film history programs for the bbc sky and screen projects. But no man is an island which ironically would have been pretty handy for the protagonists of this week subject. I am quarter the cat taking stuff here in the house of hammer and so it gives me great pleasure to introduce you to the rest of the players and on the cortex ladies and gentlemen. I give you ben. Taylor's cav mall. And smokey is smokey like top but some low kia. Hello everyone i'm ben. And i'm a big film fund to be honest. A like a bit of everything from nineteen twenties german expressionism to the lesser known. John claude van damme abominations favorite genres horror. Been podcast in on and off mostly on the last decade or so most. Recently you'd find me talking horror on the rich podcast. It's an absolute pleasure and an honor to be asked to join adam. Kev and smokey in taking you on a journey into the house of hammer. Hello i'm an unabashed film fund. That's usually found more comfortable in the colts end of things. And it's something. I've had a zest for from an early age. I've been podcasting for six years now and kenobi found at home on film gulf where me and my good friend. Ali talk about all sorts of diamonds in the dirt. Ironically though my age old love of hammer films who's actually reignited over a year ago when a co created the here lies macos podcast which deals with the output at one of hammer's many competitors through the sixties and seventies in the form of amicus films. Getting a chance to run around. The many rooms of the house of hammer with such good friends is something. I simply couldn't ignore. Hello i'm smokey self proclaimed devotee of all things cinematic the pop for musicals up in a gusta for almost a decade whether it's scaring the pants off people with my house of hammock ojos ben on the horror podcast Or dodging golden age education with my other house of hammer because that on all the best lines can be found soaking about film. Somewhere being horrifying british. Amer is a part of me getting the chance to get together with the aforementioned. Two and a wonderful friend kev. Talk about hamid was too good an opportunity to miss pads and there you have the team. All four of us who each fortnight's will take you on a guided tour. Three one of cinema's most enduring legacies. Exactly what does lie behind the first door in the house of hammer. When you say the name hamma many c- christopher lee or peter cushing laureus technicolor fangs. Bed stake in hand prowling through the gloomy holes of. Let's face it the same house every time but the story of hammer films begins much earlier than the nineteen fifties in fact it begins two decades before.

house of hammer house of hamma Hammet studios hammet studios adam John claude van damme ben reiter roach hammer kia bbc hollywood Kev kenobi Taylor colts Ali Amer hamid
Episode 539 - Double Team

We Hate Movies

2:25:13 hr | 4 months ago

Episode 539 - Double Team

"This is a head gum podcast. Hey don't hit that skip buggy. You're looking at that scoop button. But i gotta let you know about a special event happening on friday april nut. Will you ask just lone raider actor chatting award winner. Grammy award devotee. Pulitzer cries aware in so far as i am aware that the pulitzer prize visiting. I've been paid shit ton of money to let you know that. On friday april nine we movies show is doing a live podcast. My film rambo last luck out. Could i possibly need money you want. Let's just say if you enter the stuff that i'm into hotel cleaning. Bills can be murdered at the marriott corporation. He's made unforgiving so this live podcast is gonna be you. Goop is gonna all be great jokes. You can actually st which is but also do he would. ge's it's going to have a vhs. trailer. Game i dunno. Sounds like stuff that there could be a lot of fun and it's only gonna exist on the internet for about one week after broadcast the dentist going to go away forever so by you tickets right now and then you can watch your show live on april ninth at nine pm. I dunno you busy. You something you'd still buy your ticket now the good news but then you could download the show up to friday april sixteen at eleven fifty nine eastern standard time but after that time to hold show dropped to the kreil freeze like my famous character. John spartan india academy awarded. Jason film demolition man. So you want to get your ticket right now w. h. m. podcast dot com to go over there and get that supper. I can wait. Don't hit that skip button it. Now because this show is never gonna be rebroadcast. After the sixteenth as previously mentioned. It'll be gone and you'll miss out on the phone just like that show. They did on audie movie back in january. That shows gone. This shows oldest shows don't like cook gone so ride. It will night at nine pm eastern standard time. We hate movies rambos last a son. And who larry's podcast experience about me. Doing word so violent it would make leather face lush. Get your tickets today at w. h. m. podcast dot com. And please take care of you. So we we get this week on the program who among us didn't think it was a porno. It's double team manjoo. Ken stevens sadek eric. Cisco grand gavin and we hate movies. Hello everyone welcome to the final episode of the twenty twenty one listener requests month. That's right we're talking. Double team from nineteen ninety-seven directed by sue arc. You may know him. If you're a fan of the detective d franchise. Once upon a time in china franchisee also directed black mass to which is crazy ass movie. This was his english language. Debut and what. Better way to do with jean claude van damme and wait. What's that. oh. Dennis rodman hollow gun ban. I mean. I don't think you can start this conversation any other way like he. I'd never seen this movie. It was mind blowing to me. Just how horrific of an actor he is. He may be the new worst. Athlete-turned-actor wow i going to go a different direction. I think because the character is so ill suited to him. The fact that this is even like legible beans. He's kind of better than michael jordan. Shaquille o'neal wow just because there's no reason to give this guy a manic character at all kids you've got a really deep lumbering voices big. You know huge huge presence. It's you go more monosylabic. You're in much better shape. But they tried to make him like an arabic wit. And it's just like comes out like not 'cause i think it's like because of all the media at the time around him and he was such a sensation all those lloyd's so they had to make him so he's not playing himself. But like you know the the look at least it's straight rodman. It was either going to be this or character For like the fifth element like yes. That's like the types is going to go for. Like what i like about him in this movie at least is that he does match Seahawks style like he doesn't feel out of place in this movie because this movie is so quick and like clearly not worried about setting up anything or like believability. It's i think it's impossible to be other places this movie because nothing makes sense. I mean it is six to eight different movies at least running out of place. But it's just like my god. Every other line of dialogue is a fucking basketball joe. That large understood. Dennis rodman was a fucking power forward. Let's move on with it. Here's the other thing though. Is you put him in this and then next to him. Jc sounds like he has a pretty good hold on the english language. Really it does. It's a good casting choice. 'cause like he does seem like much more quick like seems like he's really going with the dialogue in this one. You mentioned the whole basketball lines makes me think as i watched airplane like last week And the kareem abdul jabbar character being like no no no. I'm the i'm the co-pilot like whatever. His name was rob johnson or something but then the veneer slips and he just becomes knew jabari. He's he's got basketball shorts on. I feel like they should have done that here. Just geico basketball player itself. You're totally right. If by the end of his movie when a fucking tiger explodes he was wearing wearing a bulls jersey totally fund by. Don't even explain it. Whatever i mean still plane and ninety. Seven steve yes. This is The bulls the last one in ninety eight so this would have been in that bulls run omit. He got paid for this then. Jesus christ he must've he. He must have gotten like truckloads for this right. I mean what kind of money do you think is. Production was working with l. Try to look that up. Here well we. Jcd's kind of fading star at this point and mickey ward is all fucking crater in the moon with a starter. So i don't. I don't think they had a ton of money to play with but i bet rodman definitely got a lot maybe just under jc jcd's like it's so amazing when you think like what are the good jcd movies honest on this one of them. The ones that with the chinese directors actually kind of the best ones are car target. This yeah. I like universal soldier quite a bit. I think i think van damme has got a good presence. He elevates bad movies for sure. Like the quest is a very bad movie but for some reason i like him. I'm a big time cop guy. Be the heights. I have a soft spot for street fighter. And i always think it's the row julia thing but also i think j. c. is kind of holding it in that one. I think he's charismatic. I think he's very interesting to watch. I really enjoy him on screen. And i think we need to stop with these british people. I know i know but let us get more weird. European dudes that are into karate weightlifting or whatever and let's make them a thing again. Well that's a problem that you can't do that anymore. Because they're all youtube stars now that's where they're all making their money is doing videos on there or they haven't onlyfans account or on the fans and that's the new trajectory of hollywood right. I mean i think a youtuber is hosting the old carson. Daley show over really. Yeah excuse. Actually if i if i ever get busted with an onlyfans account No no i look karate ways belgian martial arts to workout routines on here you know to burn in the app. Yup tried to get in shape here. I want to quickly mention. I did really like they at the movie. Jcd that he did that self referential. I still never sought checking out even when like because like you. I've heard say it was good. I think kristie saw before too. I just thought about it was like that can't be right and there were a lot. There wasn't there are a lot of people that really liked that movie. And i was like something's wrong here is that i think he's got. He's got like a monologue in french or something. A little more you'll to maybe what is experience was so i i like it. It opens with a long tracking shot of a movie being made. It's it's kind of neat visually. But by the way before we close this. Jcd retrospective data mentioned blood. Sport being amazing. Oh yes we should also mention that. We're not doing this on purpose. We're doing this because the listener requests. Call right fuck. Yeah let me let me pull that. Also i'll just say in from wikipedia although citation needed thirty million dollar budget. You probably yeah. I mean he probably got at least one or two million bucks here. Yeah yeah probably yeah all right so let's take a listen here to The person who called this one in eight guys. It's randy from not. Because i wanted to request nine hundred. Ninety seven double team nash. Movie starring jean. Claude van damme. And then it's robin for some reason. bizarre action movie. That sets become a remake of the prisoner halfway through There's a lot for you guys that you on especially with You know walk vandamme mispronouncing words and i hope you guys love basketball jokes and as for the android factory guys later would still argue that they. I like rodman. Can't handle some of these words rodman got marbles in his mouth with a few of these words whereas jcp d. He's clipping along pretty. Well it's all the piercings. I think a chain wallet in his mouth with his dollars. Yeah half a corn audiences eric. You're half a chain wallet in his mouth. Joke is definitely my dad. Yelling at espn. Absolutely dude i mean we we are. We are dying we are. We are becoming grandpa by the day. So it's fine. I mean what's what's good is our audiences aging with us I'll say it's better to be gratified. Then mummified one follows the other. That's true so steve. If you had to quickly distill and a few sentences what we're dealing with in this movie how would you take a stab at that who that is the most difficult question you've ever ask me. Honestly tables have turned jayme master. I it's it is john claude. Van damme is a retired black ops agent that is following his nemesis stavropoulos played by which is an amazing thing rorick Along the way he left for dead joins the set of a different movie for a little bit and then comes back to his movie. picks up dennis rodman about forty five minutes in. It becomes the double team team up movie. Where dennis rodman is this arms dealer that he uses to infiltrate the great stavridis. You know it's funny. Because you see. I like i just said a second ago. I hadn't seen this until last night but i knew of this movie for sure And i remembered this poster very well or the dvd case or whatever is on. I'm db like so you assumed right that it was like pretty much adjacent. Vdi rodman buddy movie. But like yeah. It's forty five minutes then. Rodman has one scene and then like another like twenty to twenty five minutes. Goes by where he's not in the movie again. And then he's in like the third act through the credits. It's like if chris tucker was on the poster for the fifth element again. Totally like make any sense. My favorite thing about this movie's plot. Is i guess. Because he's a retired black ops agents so he jc working for the us government. Overseas and dennis rodman's the one from belgium. Probably ex pat as well. I mean it would have to be. But i just think it's funny that it's like he goes to antwerp belgium to the dennis rodman well. Everything is flipped everybody. America sounds like jean. Claude van damme belgium. Sounds like dennis rodman. Yeah everybody knows exactly what he's saying like he's speaking very well. Better planet is the beginning is ally and its like dislike pre-credit i guess credit sequence with. It's a super train movie. And like he's it's like there's this weird thing where it's like all right jack quaid jack quinn your mission is to stop stavris get these missiles to the iraqis for some reason that if you get it to the border you get to retire. We cut do a rube full of like air traffic controllers. That were like. Oh man he's never gonna make. Who is eddie one dude. I gotta tell you started watching this yesterday at approximately like five forty five pm. I wasn't fucked up in the slightest and in this like cold open. I was just like we. What are they what is going on i. I completely lost track of what was happening here and had to do because lord knows. I wasn't going to pause it but i like to the wikipedia plot summary and yet it is because it starts and it's definitely like a previously on jack quinn and it's like his adventure of yes. Rose has stolen something. But he's racing to get like plutonium back across the border and yet it's all in like super truck and i looked down for two seconds and i was like when i look back up the television. I was like wait a second. 'cause they never cut to him this really interesting and confusing. They never got to him an interior of him driving. This truck and i was like wait is supposed to be driving this truck. What is fucking habit. And yet this control room at a know where i was like. Who are these guys. You definitely don't see stav rose you just hear the name stavros because mickie rock doesn't make an entrance until the amusement park. I think they should have established did earlier. Making like this bad as at the start. And so i can understand the the rivalry between and stavros. Exactly he say that but like this is like the cold open of any other action movie like broken arrow has seen like this face off. I think has a scene like this but it's like slapstick pace. It is the nineties and like through. Just don't don't let it blow. Don't let it set into much like we. Just want to be like yeah. He survived the last one. Ready for the new one buddy. But what you're saying there it's interesting. You bring a face off right because faceoff. Does this called open the way we were just saying. We hoped this happened right. Because in face off you see nicholas cage is the one that assassinates travolta's kid and that's all in that like you see nicholas cage in that scene like this with an assist from that freddie mercury mustache you that's right. of course it's skies. I would also argue the connection between travolta and cage is not as important is much more important than the connection between rourke and jean claude. Van damme this movie was killed his kid in the stakes. Become incredibly high at some point. We'll get to see at the kid killing but that's all on rourke yes. I also wasn't entirely certain that jc was the one that pulled the trigger on that kid. Honest yeah there was. A lot of crossfire rewound rewatch. The scene again went back after. I washed the entire movie. And then i'm like oh shit. That's the same tiger and amusement park that we see later in land because the tiger got two paychecks out of this move. That's tiger foreshadowing dude. It's a checkoffs tiger tiger. The first actress gotta go off explode by tiger goes off all right. Don't worry about it. Oh yeah jean. Jean-claude was was a professional. He pet me. And i didn't even want to snarl i didn't want to bite his hand or nothing. And you know mickey you know he put you smoking cigarettes near my eyes. I don't like that that you know and you know you know could act though beautiful actor it is also generous with the stakes. Stake and set dinar. Always called me. Tony the tiger. I loved that. You know. I just i just love that. It's just interesting to see like a zoo slash amusement park that this is where i'm jumping ahead here but anyway i mean this i is like nothing at the end of stripes for fourteen seconds. And then it's over. Yeah i will. I will give it though. I like the stunt of him and i mean i i was laughing out loud because i like the stunt of the super truck thing going over the train but larry thing where he is just driving up to a train. That has already started crossing the road. And it's like oh what is he going to do. And then all of a sudden he hits this jump. This is a magic jump. Jump was the you see. There's shots of like the flat road going right to the train tracks and out of nowhere. This super truck is just flying through the sky. Oh my god edible jack jack. Quinn must be driving. That makes trucks fly like jack quinn. Talking 'bout jacqueline down on him. Making this mission like there must be a fool in the office. Because they're like oh man. If jack makes his run he can retire finally. Oh yeah ted. I heard that this is a death squad. Radio were just talking about the crowd around the world and just breaking down what they're doing in the other countries must be the most famous right because like once we get to. The isle of the damned is whatever. Everyone knows him. Yeah that's what i was getting. Yes just like the caller mentioned. It's very the prisoner Which is a weird television. Show from the sixties. That remade with ian mckellen and i want to say jim caviezel on. Amc like maybe ten fifteen years ago. Your But i was also getting a super john wick vibe of like this is the community of all of our international assassins. You know. they're all just like secret agents or like a men for hire kind of it. Sounds like it's del. Boca vista for those guys is like what like the hotels. Where like you hire them out. But like when you can no longer you can only be a consultant and the rest for the rest of the nine. Th they're hanging out with jerry stiller and luca brasi on the fuck you know days off and then occasionally yeah. We should definitely invade pakistan ask. Why j. to escape fucking jack. Clump is just took over the condo. Board j. d. what is that a cadillac columbus. You did give my son back. he's astronaut. Pan need go back. There was no gift no gift and you know what's funny too is like much like the first movie we covered in listener requests month. The past a movie wear he goes to a magic island. And you think like that's where the movies taking place in many john. Leguizamo goes back to miami. This again is like cool. Now we're on this island. There's all this like crazy shit. It's like heroes and villains retiring together. We monitor all the world governments and advise they pay us like it's all this incredibly fascinating setup that could be something and you think the end like this movie is going to be like all right. Jcd works his way up to toppling his organization maybe vines out it's crooked or whatever but instead he just leaves again well it becomes an action movie. Well this is This was written as a spec script and it was called the colony and they just kind of took it. And i guess when they turned it into a j. c. d. movie and then also subsequently a dennis rodman project. They're like well. They need to get back on the road and we need to make more of an action movie. Which is this is more thinki- or whatever a little too. Thank you for the double team crew. We have to. I act with the third act. We need a script for the second act. Exactly it's pretty bizarre. Like why not just write another script and why take this script and say we gotta make it worse. So he winds up going retiring to the south of france or wherever the fuck it. He's got a beautiful wife and she's got some she's the sculptor she's pregnant and swamp has beautiful beautiful her like horrendous horrendous abstract sculptures. Oh they're bell. Hana also isn't coming over again. Beetlejuice vibes only totally like this movie. Could he used a comical haunting or robert. Robert goulet shows up for dinner. Yeah jason needs to be a ghost movie before everything said and done not some i was gonna say do not some secret movie he did. That's like pseudo. paranormal knows. It exists but it came out in like two thousand nine or something of hope. So and if you know of such thing please slide into those dams close your legs. Who i i would kill for dick cabinet just to go up to mrs quin. I've always thought your art was terrible. There's a moment with with him and his wife here I mean it's kind of hilarious. Because she's like visibly pregnant right like any day now. This baby's coming and she's just like jack the baby. It's what we want. No and they're like sitting in the swimming pool. And i was like you know what i don't know. The preview told me that dennis rodman's in this movie can we move all this along a little bit also a little late to have that conversation. I mean you you might be out of out of in legal jeopardy. If you're having that conversation i don't know about that man riley third france. You take him some you know countryside. French nunnery dropped the baby off for. Oh the that's the class. You want bandit a kid you go to europe. You find a convent and you really abandoned that kid like madman shit right there then the cadillac of abandoning your child city lovely. Today's episode is brought to you by better help. Yes better help you know the thing. I'm always talking about it. Offers incredible virtual counseling available all over the world. You know if you're struggling just wanna talk some stuff through. That's the best part of therapy. It just gives you a great place to air some stuff out. That might have been on your mind for a long time with someone. That's totally confidential. You know just sit down and wrap with somebody about something that might be bothering. You know like in my case how eric cisco has turned my entire audience against me. Because he's terrible at the vhs trailer game that's right ladies and gentlemen even the master need somebody to talk to once in awhile seriously though better help is a tremendous resource needs pandemic times because they will assess your needs and match you with your own license professional therapists and you could start communicating in a safe and private online environment in under forty eight hours once you have account so you can send them messages at any time. Expect thoughtful responses back. Don't like your first counselor get the hell out of here first. Counselor that's right. you need. Change your counselor at any time for free also better. Health is more affordable than traditional offline counseling. 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Getting will graham back in the game on here near the pool where he's guys like. Yeah i know you've just got retired but you gotta come back at the game. Come on guys great because you completely expect this dude to be around for the whole movie and i was like. I don't know if i can take that. Because he's like he's very enthusiastic about being a part of claude van damme movie. But boy this guy not an actor maybe a stunt coordinator just got the role or something just lines being delivered. Were bad the line he says. That really stuck with me. Because like john glenn all you come in and decide you. Why don't you come to the front door. Jack came to the back door. You should know that. And i'm like wait what we reference as aiming spanish god. Well let me tell you. I'm glad you brought that lineup steve. Because it just reminded me of a thing. That was incredibly frustrating. While i was watching this. I rented on apple and the subtitles did not match the dialogue entirely like it was a thing where what they were saying was the sentences. Were being restructured for the subtitle. So like the message was still getting across but it was not verbatim and so eight that shit you know it was. It was very confusing but one of those hilarious restructuring of the sentences was at that part because the guy in the subtitles says like oh yeah well jack you know all about going in the back door and it's like are we talking about as fucking. I am gonna come in your back door. Well there is that line later. When mickey workers like et titan this back. Well that's that makes sense for a cia man. Yeah you're assholes tight right. Can you talk to your ass all a little bit because he basically was stabbed back and listen. You can't retire until stavros retires. I guess though because it's the great kid and there's a lot of like the great game as a foot. Because i think like the next thing. Is this guy like getting into his car. And mickey rourke has hijacked it and it's like the only good thing you ever did is getting jack quinn back in the game. But what game is this. What are you. What on earth are you talking about. You want this guy after you. It's the spy game. Man loves the thrill of the chase. I dunno also dude blowing up in his own cars fucking hilarious. Because like he can't he can't unlock the. Don't like mickey rourke really. Has this car rigged to blow and like it is a daytime assassination with a car bomb and it's like roses slowly walks away and there's tons of people around and no one was like. Hey seconds before that car exploded that guy over there god out of it and hasn't turned around since it exploded by the way. Let me get. Somebody be picked his shrapnel outta my face. Anybody wanna help me. i'd be like starbucks. Is like throwing like octopus in his mouth. While he's doing this is we need to cut that out. We get that brief. Moment of of mickey work walking away from the car as it explodes in cool as fuck right. Yeah man i say. Written mickey rourke not looking half bad in this move it pretty good that's healer. Jc d. But it's also it's also before he became the red skull says the for that also for sure but like not that many years right because what the hell was the wrestler. The rest of the two thousand ten almost ten okay. So there's plastic surgery run amuck and there was probably human growth hormone Out definitely should rambo a fide bit. He oh eight. He's the wrestler He's a domino with fire for a second by the time mexico. I barely remember him in. I remember him very clearly because he has the tiny dog. And when you start not being able to recognize him a tiny dog and he wears like straw cowboy. It's like what is happening. Yes oh dude. Honestly that movie might be a stay tuned. It's not very good. No it's not. That was a movie. It was like one of the biggest letdowns because it was just like. Oh my god it's fucking desperado. To like let's do it like oh man. What is johnny depp doing movie. Well that's the thing. Is it two thousand three. It wasn't it was like desperado. To probably wouldn't have made that many ways it was a desperado. Two plots johnny. You actually right. Because that's like the height of the pirates power everything. Yeah no thanks no thanks. I do like this scene of him. Going to dennis rodman. Cd fucking sex club at the like sem gimped dancer in a water tank. Pretty create a sex club pretty creative. It just seems a little dangerous is all. I'm gonna say madam if you're you know what i mean. She's got the gas mask that is coming into that. Is her air air supply. The music's really loud. If something goes wrong how are you going to alert somebody that you're in trouble. Yeah i would like to think that there's a little thing like in these glass cubes that they're dancing inner float. Ding dancing in Where it's like if you press this little red thing in the corner. It emits and this. This is feasible for this movie. At least because dennis rodman's like not only like a weapons guy but like kind of a gadgets. Wizard a little bit and like you can have a thing where it's like you press the button and some sort of pulse goes through the glass and shatters it if you find out. You're like drowning in this tax. A sharp dildo. Yeah a dildo just comes out and pokes its way through the glass and you fly out but how to just put your mouth the whole. If she liked died in there you could just flush it down the toilet like a regular fish living at the sex club. Think or not so much. maybe above it Yeah i think it's a thing where if it's not a time living situation steve. He definitely has a room there. I live above one sex club in lower sex club and dialogue it. The moaning from both ends man. Maybe i mean address. The little button you're talking about does exist because the lady in the Who's like snorkeling and dancing. Or whatever is like it's a button and opens his secret layer. He has this she has like. She's like he has to go up to the glass and be like hey and she's like yeah here and opens the door with a little button on the side. Oh i see. I think this club has also meant to freak you out a little bit because the nineties the idea of anyone having anything other than missionaries sex was like yes. Yeah i don't know because he's dennis rodman and he's such a personality. I think if you were to try to make him not that it's almost then even more unbelievable that he's in this movie. Yeah you know if he was like a straight laced like like junk on van. Damme's cue or something right like just gadget weapon guy which is kind of what he what he is here but yeah as dennis rodman totally and his his name is yeah's and like the same as soon as this movie that after it was over with. I was like torn to put on stares at eric's for a little bit tracks. Yeah and i'd be like but of course because j. c. d. is standard and for all the dads out there. That just wants dennis. Rodman do fucking defense Is he's like your hair. Sigrid awry done worrying. I'm just as freaked out as you print front up. This is a great exchange because these says the last guy who made fun of my hair had to pull his head out of his ass at the jc vs. I want to hear about your sex life. It's like dude. It's like the old west with the the gunslinging of the gay jokes in this scene. And it's crazy to think like 'cause i know whichever was the surviving member of the two just died recently and other both dead but just like thinking back man. It feels like ninety. Seven is still a little too late for siegfried and roy jokes. Yeah it's just it was just. It was shorthand for that's hilarious. Yep exactly and i mean so much so definitely definitely trailer line one hundred percent trailer light so all. Those dads were in the theater to see like i dunno. Whatever piece of shit steven seagal movie had this trailer in front of it could just be like god damn right. More tiger foreshadowing right. He'd guaranteed they weren't thinking that this is where he's got his like his james bond esque kind of q set up which is a lot because it's a lot. There's even a bad like oh did you. Just push that button. And he's going to throw the thing because like the tiny little keychain is actually huge bomb or whatever. What i don't understand is there is like the jungle advan. This part is part of a team. Like just make dennis rodman part of that team. And he's like the only other guy that made it out just save so much narrative information for you. Meanwhile this team has a sharpshooter later and a guy in shadow in a wheelchair that means nothing that anyone else get that as there's just a dude in a shadowy figure in a wheelchair and that's john that's mr whatever who does information they hold out for three seconds and he's god i'm doing information about doing what you do in. That's my job is to keep down to do what you do how you doing. Yeah i stir. I'm here i mean i'm in the shadows here i don't wanna take up too much room or too much time from you paces you. I know you've got people to kill leslie. Hello yes i've been tracking you for a long time now young man charles. Keep telling you. I just dye my hair. It's that's that's all it is. I am not a utan to yourself. Your true self. no. I dye my hair. I'm i'm naturally six-foot-seven this clerk. I've heard it a thousand times before young men that look you're calling yourself yeahs. What were you born jonathan. Where you and now you'll go by yeahs. Your ass is an ex man. I do have a special power to during asshole. How would you like to live in westchester Perhaps you could play for the knicks. Dude the absolute on thinking about the you mentioned like there's a team of people steve other we and and and of course they're all like delta whatever and jc delta one. He's you know. Because he's the fucking walking legend or whatever but then there's this woman who's the sniper and he's like off we could get over here maybe we could get a shot at him. Could you make this shot with two hundred yards. And she goes with this. I can shoot the dick off a hummingbird this woman just getting shot in the face doing absolutely nothing out of the movie. Yeah 'cause humming. Birds don't have dick's also also drew. Well that's that's that's her fucking eric. Because she's like no. I shut the dick off that hummingbird before they got no take lie. I'll be birds ain't got no dick be great like novel title. I've been looking for the title. I there So yes this delta squadron's mission here is got to recapture that stav rose kind of captured alive gonna go to antwerp belgium. I believe we are hilarious. And i thought it was going to be and boy how wrong i was. I thought it was going to be the most ridiculous product placement in the movie. Huge hilarious heineken billboard. That's just their dude. You wish you could win. I don't wanna spoil it because we'll have a lot of fun with what. I was howling at this thing. That we're all referencing. But yes so. They got the whole team. You know it's your classic undercover. We're trying to catch this guy right. You got one of your agents play in a clown. There's another guy work in the concession stand. you know. There are got operatives all over the park and it's important to bring stab rose in alive for some reason question. Yeah instead of just blowing this dude's head off and letting everyone get on with their day. We got to bring him in alive yet. You don't even get a like. We need him for the information. You just supposed to infer that right. You're supposed to be for a lot it. It just seems like there's an easy thing where it's like. Whoa he's also a Black ops guy and we gotta make sure we all go to the same resort when we retire. Please bring him in alive. My favorite thing that you have to is that he must like he must have it in his terrorist writer that he has to have his child with him at all killings or also deals like what. What is this child doing at this setup because hey it's never it's never said that we have to. It's just like the meat is at the is up the amusement park. That's we're going to get him. Not they're going to get the drug dealers there. That's what the plutonium you don't know what the deal is. You're supposed to infer that. There was like online chatter or something staff is going to be in this location. We don't know why but it turns out meeting. He's he's just got a really fucking over. overindulgent twitter feed friday. Night to see you guys activities with park okay. Stavros eating club sandwich at the city limits. Diner coach oh look at this status. Had someone take a picture of him playing the ring. Toss game with the amusement park. Let's get him. Oh my god. He's having the heineken. Amber oh my god that's disgusting. Somebody stop start discussing. We need to take them in live. Get away from highly. Can amber heaven forbid heineken. Anything but i mean yeah also heineken. Ambra mistake if you're gonna go for heineken. it just get the and stuff and call it a day. Yeah you your gender drink junk. it's fine you absolutely have to be so wait. So is the idea that he was coming here for completely. Innocent i think's freeze. It is yeah. I think. I think you're supposed to because i was confused by this but i think it's a thing where it's like you know the h. is o- on stav rose and like his whole family or whatever and he. This is the way he's able to kind of get any time to see his child because also the woman that he's with you don't know what's the mother just like a guardian or something. Has the kid like hidden in oakton. very weird reveal. That's doing a lot to that. Kid guaranteed don't worry His psychology too much more to go through very true. Travel will had pretty quickly but like it's a reveal. Because i guess the idea is supposed to be like you're expecting it's going to be because he's wearing this enormous trenchcoat or raincoat and expect candy under their tails or guns or drugs but up in a little kid who's between life. It's almost like she was sitting on his shoulders. Dude yeah it does kind of look like that. It's it's an historical move by this movie. Also it's weird 'cause like it's raining and like the amusement park appears to not be looking to shut down at all and it is the funniest thing because like all the agents rather at everything including this guy he's dressed as a clown and there's something just so goddamn hilarious but looking a clown that got stuck in the rain. It's just it's more groggy clown shit yup every month. We're going to do a grungy clown movie. And i'm gonna hate it now. It's surprisingly kind of busy at this rainy amusement park say i don't understand why people aren't going home get tiger inside. What are you doing exactly cape off the electrical equipment on actually up the voltage if you can. But i guess because she. The sharpshooter has a shot at stab bruce at this point and i guess because junk vadym is close to having a child here. He's like oh. I'm not going to give the order. Take the shot. But then stavros caesar and kills her anyway and then in a hail of gunfire the mother and the kid gunned down yauza now. He just opened fire on your enemy. Who cares about the child being there. If you just shot at both of them. I mean he could have gotten stavridis. Mickey rourke it could have been down and then maybe the kidman okay or maybe shoot. The kid in the leg also been told that they were supposed to use non lethal rounds tranquilizer darts track the kid totally because that's when in the previous scene is like doing nothing. Good his rose that do hundred yards. What they're discussing is using a fucking dart. Yes so like it. It makes no sense. The shot is not obstructed at all. This woman could have nailed him like right in the shoulder. The kid wouldn't have been affected whatsoever. It's just like it's a messy way to have this all unfold. You're telling this story like cleanup this fucking shit. Make it make sense. That's the thing is like it's just moving along at such a clip. And i kind of like that like i don't like that it's making points to like really slow out. It's just like completely off the rails. Go go go go go go go go go but like even with the split like i. Did you think that the kid was dead right away. No i felt like the the the lady that was with him got tracked and then when stop. Rose takes the kid at another shot. Hits the kid 'cause then there's blood then you see blood with the kit. So is that the the lady gets it. I is yet idea. The lady gets hit with something and then stop. Rose takes the kid away from her and the kids still alive in that moment. But then there's another shot. I think it's the guy slips on the coca cola cans. Yeah yeah i love. I love that. Jc vdi also slips on some and then like while slipping on coca cola. He managed to turn that into an advantage. Starts kicking people in the face by the way we got our first. Jcp cbd kicks about seventeen minutes in now. Now that you lost one star. It's bullshit because you know you have. That called open. Steve and like he's still in that super truck maybe he has to give an awesome superkick to the driver. Yeah okay before he steals it like guys. Make me go this long without seeing a kick like that guy's head right off his body. That would've been amazing. Start we also get stavrou vision. Here it is the weirdest part of this. I gotta get myself a little dog and a weird little straw when she's has the hummingbird decline. Jcp volleys back. You don't understand like a snick the minute the minute that you like is with him he is behind you shooting you and i'm like right and i'm like what the fuck does that mean. And what that means is that he he slow vision like he can actually before you could shoot him. Yeah you you get inside the mind of stavros and everything is slow. Because i guess they been on downers all day much. Like mickey rourke. I got myself some bullet tab that got some slow mo in this. I'm gonna take that real quick. Joe take a job for the momma clan is also say because where he's threatened much like a skunk when he threatened t he releases a mist of opioids. And everybody just goes this the bad days the nothing a doubters border doubters did miot whipped cream. Canister budget is through the roof. All or nothing days. I mean it's funny in cincinnati when they had to put all that make upon his face to make him look like miller character. But it's like that's the best. He's looked in years honestly. Can i take this home. You'll need all the chin putty or here's my biggest one of my biggest curiosities over the last ten years and i've never made the choice to bite. The bullet is sin city. A watchable movie. I would have told you in the in the arts. it was but i don't know why i remember when most of went to see it back in the old purchase days like we were all psyched is fuck i i i mean i loved it back in you. Know seven or no five came out twenty one years old. I watched it. Maybe seven years ago and wasn't so into it. But then i watched the sequel. And i was like other movies and masterpiece like i think you can still enjoy the look of it. But like the like the frank miller sensibility. All over that as a little tough to digest these days. Yeah i get that feeling. That probably wouldn't aged while either. Although i had most of those books and had wanted them. It's got a great michael madsen performance in the beginning. Harry and you got a bum jagger. You know to hear my voice. But i could wrap up. The biggest sin of sin city is the fact that like that aesthetic and the grim darkness of it like direct correlation. That's why three hundred gut green light like jack. Snyder is a person because sin city came out a thousand percent. Yeah and the style of which it was the my god. We're gonna use a comic book as a story board. That's what three hundred was. And that's why it exists for sure. You're you're totally right there. What am i favor it lines not to keep harping on this kid getting assassinated but one of the things that happens also is like of course they have their team there but star rose has all his guys there. Two and one of those guys turns to our guy who's dressed like a clown and just goes too late clown boy and shoots this intel in the in the the mesmerizing action. Now was his guys. The one with the animal masks yes. I think that it was kind of next. Yeah totally movie movie and something something spill some has its deborah's gets away and runs a hot. Anyone abandoned maternity ward more more distinctly a baby room there hanging in the baby room together and fighting there if terrorists are whatever age. There's nurses always nurses doctors around those babies all the time and i'm pretty sure nurses and doctors would be doing their damnedest to either shoe. The gunman away from the baby or get the babies of the the area. This is the perils of socialized medicine. Babies will be left undefended from no. You don't share. We have to turn off the lights. All the time in the maternity ward to save some money like it's like an abandoned hospital it's lars von tree or the hospital creepy show who god you keep saying abandoned but there are babies all around me and i mean again like i just i believe that much of the human spirit that people would not have babies like listen. You want to abandon between one and four babies do you an entire ward. That's like two dozen babies. Maybe we we're talking about three hundred and now my mind is maybe these guys didn't pass the baby. Inspector man i forgot about the baby inspector arable job arable not give birth at spartan medical nothing but red xs on those charts in this in this little room here expect at least one person look heck is next door guy guy mine. Babies are trying to sleep. Have the gun play next door please. I have to believe that. Like it's you fucking. A mickey rourke is going through so much trouble from just watching his shot in the chest that he's just seeing babies everywhere. I don't even think. Jc their room. And he's just my baby. I wanted to bring my baby to watch me kill so many people. I wanted to watch time. Baby watching me strangled people. Shoot him in the head. Knife them in the i i want to do. So my baby's going on but this is in slow mo great line here. I think it's here is like you know my baby boy loved his little pony that he loved. That little horse horse is going to miss my son. I walk pathetic guy. Think of the little horse at a time like this. He's just like so fucking unhinged and not for this movie man. You just have to imagine that after all this like imagine stopera survive him commiserating with the pony. About fucking dead son. I i love him so much. Potter's how am i gonna tell puddles would happen. I just don't. I cannot figure out how i could ever break this puddle. Clear sit down indian extra salt lake today. Buddy oh my god my horse. My poor poor. Or i mean horse isn't going to see my son grow up. I thought was going to god's third. we're going to have a carrot you and me. We're going to throw care dances those. We lost their full. Regine sought these wretches. Dude d. partnered with a horse in a movie that's called leg horse assassin or something. Now we're talking about. That's is your gritty. Mr ed reboot right here absolutely. That's that's a longtime comment or log. Time coming i would say Go fuck yourself wilbert. Just a horn. Go twitter now. My horse is to kick you to death by arthur. So does splits the kind of disgusted about try. It was reported that three hundred horses were killed. On the reboot of mr ed them to splits. That's three hundred horses in half biggest horse apocalypse. Since hbo's luck horse apocalypse by the way again another movie that i would watch surprising. He doesn't steal his own baby at the end of this scene. That's where we were kinda because why else are we there. Ladies and gentlemen will also there's a part where a grenade is thrown near a bunch of babies and junk on van dam like it away and you know at least at least ten to twelve babies by here this grenade explosion. At least i love. I love the fact that staff says. Like i'm gonna put this grenade in this baby carriage while i he's just going burner. Kill all these babies. It's fine my baby's dead steve. I think you're right about the body count but also the babies that survived. They're all totally deaf. Oh at least there's no way a little baby you're drums and grenade goes come on. That's a room of deaf babies. Now this this. I don't know if he's even on the air anymore but this is this is an episode of busters babies together right and then you set off a grenade and film it. All right ma'am is your baby deaf after our mythbusters. Why did you do this. We need to figure out this show. We need listen. Ma'am we needed to prove whether or not double team was accurate. Okay the one thousand nine hundred seven film double. I'm not gonna go find out of lawsuits are accurate goodbye. We're not gonna know for a of these babies or death so we're going to do like a twenty one up type of thing with all of them. I think he'd give a baby hearing task. I guess yeah you make like noises and you look and see if they react to it and shit on either side with gibberish. Saw now with like the english language. Well yeah there's other ways there's other noises to be made. Besides the english language is wanna follow up to see if these babies talk owes. Should the grenade somehow makes them super baby. You're talking babies. So here's the pitch to sequel double team but we're not focusing on anything that happens. Step the babies in this read obscene. That doesn't make any sense. It's called baby geniuses so he winds up knocked out and i guess what you recall Stop rose lets him live. Because he's playing the long game for revenge here but he's been sent to the colony which is like start the movie here. Oh god yes like this. You could totally caught off that super tank called open that could go dumb shit with his wife or whatever and this is like the gm this mission at the amusement park is the opening. And like here's how we fucking get was finally after all his time star. Rose were getting him tonight. I been boom. I get what you're saying. But i also think they're going to release a sixty five minute movie. This movie could be more about the stuff which is like totally unexplored and arguably the most interesting part of the movie would agree with that easily. He wakes up. And it's like you have. Hey you're a secret agent and you didn't kill rose therefore you've gone soft and there's all like a tv telling them this like you either have to agree to be in the colony or we'll kill you right now. I agree it took go colony. Here's the thing when you're doing shit like this and it's like you know like low tier not in the distant future star trek should or whatever but like it's low level science fiction with what it's proposing here. You got to have a better monitor system than just john. Claude van damme looking at a garbage tube. Television you're right as i am led to believe that this tube television is some sort of like high tech communication device. And it's just a four three two tv you are right because there is a laser net the fucking ocean. This is when i was watching started as ten last night and i expected a low impact. I'm gonna watch this movie. Take some notes and have a good time a buddy cop and then we get to this island. I'm like oh man. I'm gonna fucking break my wrist. These notes what jason. Vdi an island. I was expecting double impact. Not low impact madness episode. Well it's kinda of cool that he's hanging out with the joneses nazi friend. Bella is in this movie. I couldn't even believe bastard. Man that guy's career he's in one of the arguably one of the biggest movie of all time and his and he's the villain these great they be and his career is a toilet tank. What else does he. Bending besides indiana jones in this He's in hot fuzz. For hot minute. So that's the other good one. And he's also he's he's the villain and the power rangers movie and he looks at the nat does he. Ivan is exactly. I have a news all my heart and even isn't he a theater guy though. I'm sure i'm sure that's what he was doing. I'm not saying the guy was like a portrait king. Lear hamlet henry the fifth and also. I've an rangers. You want to seat open as i do. He's paul freedman is this gentleman's name. We should give them credit as we're shitting on his career ruthlessly is he still with us looks to be. Yeah nice sorry right now. We're talking way to go back to live. And he's like well missed a quin. Who will come to the island of lost. Super agents who. I don't know for some reason. Need this to keep being alive you. You've got be on the professionals or place. We had to take care of him there. There're some things we found on his computer Yes you know. We are global assassins but we are not monsters. Mister quinn also. So he is kind of lariat because like when jaycee sees this dude he just goes. Alex goldsmith the tax man. They've got like dip shit nicknames. Like that he's the tax man. Okay he comes to collect. I imagine once a year he comes to collect exactly and my fucking enemy here but he is like he's like yes. Yes yes and this is. The rest of life shall be spent here. And it's like. Oh my god it's gonna sauvage dunno and this other guy and is that style his nemesis and it's a lot of like you know it's kind of it's weird because like what they're telling you like as he seeing all these dudes you sort of realized like is junk van. Damme look really bad at his job because he sees that guy. And he's like didn't kill you in belarus and then it's like another guy. I thought i blew him cam. And you're like are you confirming any of kill. What is your job it turns out. He's fucking awful at his job. Which makes sense why. Mickey were keeps getting away and all. Here's my question about the island. I think i'm right here. Half to seventy five percent of this island is suck at each other off. That's that's you're you're you're you're trapped for all time sure. That's that's what you're doing when in rome do exactly nothing wrong with that. Do nothing wrong with it. I just. I just want to confirm that i feel is your firm. Then i do. Because i feel bell x trying to get at here is like you know. There's a lot of things we could do. Not many things we could do at the time. But there's some things we could do on this island where all retired from the international stage. We are too valuable to kill too dangerous to set free and ready to sixty nine until the sun comes out everyone. It's fresh meat off win. Since you're a spy that you know how to handle a stick shift. Yeah and also look again. You know i know i keep harping on. They don't explore this at all but like the idea of these super agents and super villains being forced to live together on this island. I don't know man seems like more than enough for a movie to me. yup. But i'm not sure if i would get my action movie here. I wouldn't get my the action movie here. Get my interesting. We're all spies because half of these. Jcp vdi is wonderful. A beautiful specimen here. The rest of these guys are fifty seven years old. Yeah this could be like a good sequel to the american with george clooney. Yes actually including and a jcd's appearance. He's wearing this late nineties clooney cut and it's not working for me man. I know haircut in trash. She's got the the clooney like caesar thing. Absolute garbage needs to be longer than this i. I'm not asking for full hard target. You know i'm not greedy. I'm not greedy realistic. Man yes but like at least like blood sport level like just a little bit more than this shape. Yeah i just. I it would be one thing if it was like 'cause the movie does play with that whole three years later and then we're in the south of france at the beginning if you want him to have that haircut then it's like all right he's been out of the game he can look like a dip. Shit that's why. But then it's like maybe one of the things when he gets reintroduced to the game is he has to go to the haircut station really quickly before he goes down to the office armando. Give me the usual. Yeah i'm thinking. I'm back exactly. So he gets his first case. There's this whole thing about a plane that was bound for soul and it is fucking hilarious in this movie. They know exactly what audience level. They're playing to because the guys like yes. It was a plane bound for seoul. South korea fucking the. The official line is that like north korea. Shot down this passenger jets. And i thought that was interesting because you know kim jon owns this movie since. Oh yes he the mud. I didn't put that together. Do you're totally writings. Probably like yeah. It's great that i'm a plot point in this. Yeah my father was a plot point every every an fbi agent on the north korea does because had just seen this and simon says absolutely. And i bet you. I bet i bet kim jong made dennis rodman watch this movie with him absolutely yet. Would that make sense because you made a play basketball or watch basketball. I'm rusty on my foreign relations with dennis watching. Yeah watching basketball. I think doesn't rodman played in asia for a long time to like. He's one of those guys just like when he bought bombed out of the nba. Just all i get a ton of money playing in asia and he did. And i think that's that's kind of how he wound up in kim. Generals wounds Purview possibly okay. But i just noticed. Family was obsessed with movies as well. Yes oh yeah the whole. It's a family of hardcore in houses. Actually crazy 'cause a kim jong il. That's the father. Yes he wrote a book. Yes yeah that book about cinema. I've always kinda wanted to read it. What's the move paul gosar. There's a follow the the thing. That's like a north korean godzilla. That dag scene dude. It's on youtube wild stuff. So yeah so this whole thing trying to solve this mystery like what actually went down and lake so it's like this team guys and they're all analyzing all the same footage and forensic evidence. The chatter was happening. Nineteen hundred seventy. The thing is like the idea that like you know what jean claude van damme's really good at analysis like just doesn't like there are guys that are like you know technical whatever's obviously paul freeman. I buy him as an al analysts. Think about things and the great chess match but like i don't buy this idea that we cannot kill jack quinn. Because he's too valuable to us. What for his brain but steve. He's the only one who knows to look at the press conference from the white house. I know that the press secretary is lying so he has this. He's like wait a minute. Wait a minute. The americans are lying. They're lying through that cheeseburger t. I wish i didn't have cheeseburgers. Jeff i got a case. She's she's bigger gut cheeseburger as burger. Actually my ass is okay. Got cheeseburger neck hair. Definitely cheeseburger nails a love. Your cheese burger teeth But so what is the. What is the consensus here. It's actually something that the americans accidentally did and they're covering their own ashes. It doesn't matter. But yes i think that's the that's the idea. There's a scene. There was a secret other plane that causes played to fall down. Whatever the americans were trying. The americans were trying to spy and a retaliated against them but hit the jumbo plane instead so the koreans definitely did it. But the americans don't want to admit to spying on the north korean idea. Yeah that were there. Were caught by them to. I see so like really junk van kind of solved. Nothing but like steve said. It doesn't matter we have. We are explained. There's a bunch of things That not only prevent you from leaving the island but if you do escape there are other fail. Safes in place here. Well as eric mentioned there's like the it's the underwater laser systems you. They're not just jump off a cliff into the ocean. It's a crazy jump to make like. I feel like an island. That's may be guarded. Shir fucking laser nets and we see them later. It's a lot you better. You better see them later And there's also you have to wear an omega watch at all times which doesn't even tell them where you are because later junk lamented takes it off like it's not a problem and then you always thought that was just like a like a like a welcome to the club or like well. He's in the watch says he's in his room perfect. That's where he's supposed to look. We'll give you What do you say thirty thousand dollars for your rodman movie. But he has to have the omega. Watch john for three minutes and that you can take it off after but three minutes. He has debbie or those. Because i'm not well versed in the world of time. Pieces per se is omega like some fancy brand or was it just like a bull bullshit like oakley kind of nineteen ninety-seven. Everybody and i mean the internationally recognized. I like how fancied. Ooh i think they're above oakley if i have to guess they're pretty expensive. Bond had a lot of omega watches autumn. Oh speaking of oakley We did get a shot of dennis rodman in a pair earlier course. It was the nine hundred ninety s man. You're making an action movie. I think you were legally obligated illegal gun operation in at work. I gotta stop by the sunglass. It's the only way he can see like normal humans. Eric oakley's their prescription. Oakley's these horse shit like sky blue and you can't like it's just. They are the dumbest sunglasses. I've seen in a while. Well matches the rest of them but the other thing. That's very important guys. If you do escape the island you have assigned to you. You do not know who it is but you have a guardian who is responsible for if you break out. They too are allowed to escape and go murderer. You very very unimportant for the end of the. What is the motivation for me. Go chase some other guy to murder him. Especially if you let me out of this fucking prison like by no addio so if you actually do hunt down if your garden and you hunt down somebody who's escaped. They let you go to the girls colony. I think maybe though like if the guardian skips bond also that guy's got a guardian show. That's well she's a crazy cycle until you get the one son of a bitch that's a real like by the book kind of guy and then you're screw well every all these. Hey listen if if jet quinn Escapes i say. I'm going to go after him guardian. Than and i'm not gonna go go get him and then anyone who's my guardian. Do the same thing. And then everybody else's guarded in the middle just kind of accidentally let us all out exactly. That's why you need. You need something in this movie. That's like a mission impossible three or a wedlock deadlock situation. Yes something that makes you fucking head pop off. Thought that if you step out of line with the watch was was like a bomb. But it's not so he's like training to get out of this thing because he's using all of his incredible mind physical skills. Finally we get some leg stuff where he's doing like leg training with the splits on the walls. And what have you oh. He's just climbing in his door frame. I gotta say. I was tired just looking at it but the other thing though i mean this split this first one that you see. It's confirmation that when he's making these movies. He's taken that sac up half through. Because you would be one hundred ten percent hanging brain if you were in the position that he's in an israeli wearing the short cities. There's gotta be a banana hammock in there. Something say these splits are bananas fisher. Honestly he used as a weapon if it comes out like that just let it hit it somebody in the eye with it and they'll be out thing about the humiliation of mickey working tea bags. Oh my god can you believe it. Oh my goodness what would happen either now. I think i just sat in some golf. What are the henchmen. Goes up to make mic with a black guy. Wha- what happened to you. I don't want to talk about it. No tell me what happened to you. It was his sack. Okay to sack kept me right in the eye and it hurt really bad left wealth. It's surprisingly dense. I don't know it just those calls that you roll around in your hand like three of them that's what it felt like right my eyeball high-velocity just just has a bunch of ben wa balls you don't have regular testicles balls of steals. They hit me right in the face. They knocked a filling out. Stop roses angry. That would be great bond villain right like jaws and away. Oh yeah sure your your junk. That's what he'd be called john. Yeah what do they call you. Chuck you wanna see me. Junk of jaws is for other business on top. There is a flame thrower. Watch out nice. Can you if you if your if your genitals get mutilated. Turn them into weapons absolutely thing. That doesn't really lead anything and it's pretty dumb because why not just kidnapper but stavridis also initiates this whole thing where he poses as an italian Space of the arts and like send someone to jcd's wife to offer up a sculpture. Show in rome. This is what this movie turns into dario or tos double team. It's always people always like women that are horribly dove and like we're going around rome researching things. It's very bizarre. I just end like there's so many scenes of like vow the op show is going to be next week and i'm like again. I'm pretty sure. The poster told me dennis rodman is in this movie at the. They're just doing a bad job. Like teasing the fact that. Like mickey rourke clearly like got her to come to rome and he's like yes I want to. I want your. What is this. Oh this bullshit type in some what is this. What did your your kid do that. You didn't have the baby yet. Oh my i'm so sorry. I know that i get all gave me this huge grant and we promise you this huge art show. I don't know how it happened. Those idiots in shipping your look at it. Look what they did do it now. This is. this'll be right right. Sure look lady. I'm going to be straight with you. I was gonna kill you and your child. But i can't pay for this shit i can't i can't do it. I can't. I can't bring myself to do it. I can't do it one time. I thought i had a patron in my corner. It just turned out to be an international terrorist using me as bait to my husband. I'm retiring from sculpting. Here's a question. Does she know that he's a an agent of some kind. Must right well no she does. I think she's he's he's just posing as a rich guy. My my understanding. But you you were say. Eric you're asking if the wife knows jaycee does for iraq. Yeah sorry 'cause like you think you'd be like okay. Here is my number one enemy. If you see this guy's face yeah. I mean i think it's a thing it has to be that she knows at least somewhat because she's like i shows up she's star right. I mean this guy shows up but she's like upset she's also like oh yeah. This is going to be one of your where you're in and out back in thirty six hours or whatever lane. She's like clearly she knows at least whatever he does. It's dangerous because she's like way more upset than you would be. If like your accountant husband decided to go back to work. She knows there's some sort of risk and now at the very least jack be strike me. Is this one of your drive through a train. Missions baby assassinations. Tell me tell you a little bit. I love a so. He's the next movement of the film is the escape is planning and i and this needs to be explained to be by paul freedman or somebody. Because there's a plane drops off a huge palette of crap every x. amount of days or weeks. i assume it's supplies but again i just need somebody like every six weeks that. How do we get all this great food. That's it yeah. It takes two seconds. I just need it. I also i loved by the way i just want to mention the whole. He's wrestling that tub. And dude god big ashley destroying the plumbing of the place. Someone's going to notice up to shit. What is that so yeah. It's this training montage. Where there's one thing where he takes a bunch of bedsheets and ties them around to bucket full of pebbles and he's lifting that up But then the thing with this bath tub. That i do not understand what i'm looking at is like he's. He's lifting up his bathtub. Oh yes it's the very heavy and then like he's handling this and he's lifting this bathtub by gyrating hips and i was like. Is he supposed to be lifting this bathtub with his erection and doing some boehner lifts i well. I want that to be true. But i think it's just in general. Maybe it's his his leg. He's training his body. Because i guess it's like a free standing tub. So i mean there has to be a drain somewhere. I feel like this is very dubious of how this is gonna work out for him. But he's lifting it because it's so heavy to train because he doesn't have the weights. You'd think there'd be a gym or something in this place with all muscle bound dudes. This is definitely one of the weirder cut scenes from merit the eiffel tower. I hunt the bathtub. Think going to fuck this tab. Listen dude i. I hate to break t. That's not how you get off in a bathtub. Dude let me let me just doing it all wrong. You wanna get in the best first off. Get in gonna your hands. I'm going to tell you that. At first and foremost you need your know tub to me. Fuck tom look out below. No no lay in the tub naked out here figured out. There's also the great moment of him holding his breath. I guess because we're going to have that thrilling escape underwater. Yes because he's coming. He timed how long the late. The water lasers are turned off for when this palette of crap is. Dropped off razors. What a fantastic movie. It is also hilarious. Because the way that he's timing like how long he's under water in the tub and holding his breath. Whatever is he's making little notches on cigarettes. And i just again. This is why we need more like eurotrash action stars. Because i fucking love that deserve. It is hell kickboxer. Dude is still just chain smoking. A cigarette is a french alarm clock cigarette this burned out. It is time man. Oh and also the. This was the one moment in the movie. Where speaking of dairy. Or gento. Steve wider like. Look away when he cuts ever so his own thumb print off of his hand and sticks it to this pencil razor because the other thing is like every day at a certain time to make sure that they're all still there. There's a security thing and everybody's room where it's like you have to go up to it when the timer goes off and put your thumbprint on it and like stand there while it registers you know what's a lot easier than that a camera. Well we look. We're not listen. I i'm not gonna invade these gentleman's privacy. You wanna you wanna work workout in your room. Fuck the tob. whatever. I don't want to look at that. I just need to know that you're there. So yes he does this big thing where he cut his thumb off he does create the the simpsons thing with the bird drinking the water. Essentially absolutely i got something to cover for me. So that's gonna be his thumb and he just chuck he gets to the top of the mountain. He chucks that watch off like nothing. It's whatever and then he jumps in justice. The lasers are turned off for this palette of so palace dropped and then other guys gotta go get it and then my confusion is then. The plane takes another palette or the palette back. What what garbage your maybe. It's all the waste. Yeah i can't think of what. What else do we see what it is up in the plane. We have no idea. I don't think i. I really have absolutely no idea. But the funny part is like yeah. He's been doing all of this breath training right here. We see him do all of that because he has to hide underwater and swim all the way to this palette and hold onto it and wait for the plane to take it so he can fly up and everything right is. It seems to me at least with what you're trying to do here. You got to hold your breath for four minutes or whatever a little counter intuitive when you're making the dive into the water to just be screaming. Yeah definitely like doing all the way dude. Save that breath man. Get that air in those loan. He'd make make as little noise as possible. Thank the island is surrounded by the. It's known for screaming fish so it's fine. He has this this nemesis. Who's like him a couple times called staal whose is like alexander skarsgard. Look at mother fucker. Rude guy and he is he just. So that's what i thought. He was his guardian because he'd just so happens to be scuba diving yup to kill him at that moment it is a it is a thing that you would see speaking of bond end of a bond movie and speaking of jaws where it's like. Oh he's not dead now. he's right here. Four somehow like an impossible reason. And that's just out of nowhere like was that dude below the water lasers the whole what the hell was going. Just i don't think people looked over a draft of the script. I think what you see is just like after they added in the j. c. jc vidino of it all. It was like cool. You got the draft on. Let's make the movie. No one thought about the ship. But where did that guy coauthored. There should be like a missing scene or an added scene where it's like the scuba guys are grabbing the the supply drop or yes and that way right. It's like your. It's kind of like in prison right. You work in the kitchen. Yeah the laundry whatever. This dudes job the stall is go out and you know maybe he's maintaining the lasers. Oh could be another job. I add the wizard guy. The weekly stock of bodybags got dropped off. Oh five days on it. This this scene exists just to let you know that the lasers mean business yes yes and he explodes. It's pretty Jc dvd gets away on the hook to the plane and and style is left To explode by the lasers which is pretty funny. It's pretty pretty rad. it's death that's so great. That like they didn't come up with this fucking other thing. For mickey rourke at the end of the movie that would be a perfectly acceptable way for stav rose to go a sea of lasers absolutely and then we get this. He's crawling up this cargo like this. This net of supplies or waste product. That is being shipped back. This is a very thrilling set-piece. It's mission impossible movie. Yup i i. It's funny because i just watched we're going through all the mission impossible movies and we just did a rogue nation and that's he that's the The big plane thing where he takes off holding onto the side of it and then like he cuts the the thing in the parachute goes off and he flies out with the package. Very much was getting mission. Impossible this and yeah. I think this is all totally great action step. He's right here. It's a weird thing. Where like when this movie just decides that it wants to be a j. c. d. movie and it cuts out any notion of dennis rodman being around and it cuts out anything about the colony and it's just like jc kicking ass and various situations. This movie is firing on all cylinders. And this is one of those agree. I love the like he asked the guy he s one guy like you have a parachute cassidy. Throws him off the plane. That's awesome louisiana right over there. I also love where he grabs a guy with his fucking thighs or whatever and whips also off the fucking plane dude that guy you know what like when you're going out like i think that guy probably had a parachute but it's like man. That dude threw me out of that plane in the coolest way to give them credit. Where right where. A fire extinguisher should be. There is a a hand gun in a holster. Part of the plane safety. Okay that's what the gun goes and grabs it. We're going to make a stab letters and gentleman to my friend and antwerp does guess what dennis rodman has been in the movie foreign. Our jessica chastain is just crying right on the side. what's happening. What's this what's the why. What's your kill bin laden. And look what else you gotta deal. Oh jessica chastain. You failed and killing osama bin laden. You're going to the column definitely killed him. Oh nice man. I heard you have a flair for it. Doc actually d- Timeless rodman a. osama bin laden should be at the colony. It's like we told society. That seal team's murder jew and we give you that fucking burial at sea but instead osama bin laden needed at the college brilliant analysis like i want osama bin laden to come to the pool at the colony have the caddyshack. Like bump bump bump bound but ted knight's niece comes by. Does anyone want to come to my room. Lay do watch seinfeld. Dvd's so yeah. He goes to antwerp to to meet up with rodman. This is where it's a weird like this is right. This is the part where he's like. Oh i'm closed for the night. Come back tomorrow and. Jcp delayed shoots the pad loggins. Now you're open for business and we get this like to second bullshit fight of like the two of them really going at it and i was like i. There is something about watching dennis. Rodman super tall guy fighting. John van damme clearly. A tiny guy but like the movie isn't acknowledging it like the movie as far as the movie is considered there like an equal footing. And i'm like no. No no this needs to be movie. Where like he's towering over him. He's like a fucking foot taller. Than is i mean. That's that'd be kind of cool right. That'd be a cool fight scene. If you really leaned into that and like speaking of fighting basketball players and john wick three or or a gave death with the crew of diligence. Barra again all right. Yeah exactly it would be listening to see the high with that. A towering height versus the actual skill of martial arts. Well that's like the way that they cut because like trauma clearly cannot fight like he just doesn't have the like the physicality for it so like the way they cut it. It's like he's giving him very like intricate introduction to each other like slapping hands and doing like bumping hips and then like stress popping. And then i'm like. Oh is this a fight or you each other it because it is one of those things where the fight lasts for six seconds and then they laugh for another. You're just happened. it's one the and he's like. I need all this stuff. And he's like well. I guess i'll help you now and be in the rest of the movie big grudgingly and i'll give you access code soc- a bank accounts. That will be the tenuous reason we are together. Yes dude it is so terrible right. It's like because rodman of course of being an arms dealer is like well. Where's the money you're going to use to pay for this and fucking jc who has met this guy precisely one other time is like you know i'm good for it doesn't if what are you talking about. Does this end up being the fake out with the access codes. Four accounts from my Colony is and then we'll give you many money's many i don't have any. I don't have any money on me. But i will give you access to these these bank accounts and that should suffice for all of this like munitions that essentially stealing from you for this mission and i need a weird parachute thing. And he's like okay cool and you have to go with me even better here. So here's my. I think it's a it's a parachute in the parachute. Looks like a jersey. that's not gonna work i have a parachute that looks like Some nike sneakers. Not okay okay. How about basketball without picture of being akeem balaj one. How about a parachute with carmen. Whole like pictorials bread on it. The basketball thing is so stupid. it's i just can't even. Because i was still shocked from the plane sequence because it's not really much of a sequence but it is so so so so poor like the production design is so poor. The two of them are sort of arguing about. Who's going to jump out of this plane or whatever And yeah he's all like i'll do you know have your invention. Words is rather than it looks like the two of them are on the set of an s. Yes it's so fucking terrible and it's like yes. This was the episode that like jc hosted special. Cameo bye goddamn dennis rodman and they're just like it's so so terribly cheap but then i couldn't believe it because before my shock about that wore off i was like oh my god. The parachute device is just a basketball. I mean at that point. You're you're imagining like oj. Simpson it'd be like pushed off a deck in a wheelchair. I mean here's the thing you want that stuff to be in this movie totally fine. Let dennis rodman talk about basketball. Obviously he knows basketball. He can perhaps say those lines a little more naturally. But then if that's the case you need to have jcd be like. I need to go see my friend. In brussels he used to play professional basketball in latvia. Exa- one line. The one was anything. But like 'cause why else then is his parachute device a basketball but it gets not for the fact that before he was an arm's dealer he was a basket gets even worse as the movie progressive. He just starts talking about like meh. Blessed land is about what fine he's going to get from presumably the nba and they don't care about his lawyer up a robot coliseum. There's some part where he's like. I forget what like he dispatches with somebody in a creative way and he goes man that should be a five point shot like oh my it was actually one of his best moves in this because he grabs some guy like with a gun. The guy's got a gun. He grabs by the gun arm and throws him into a passing by like truck through the window. Yeah yeah what. He starts fighting towards the end of the movie. I'm kind of okay with it. You know what i mean like. At least it makes some sense. Because it's it's better than him being a hacker or whatever. We'll get to the monks. I yes i mean. The having this conversation means he doesn't work in the movie and mccoy doesn't add much to it. He doesn't need distant because it's not a double team movie. It's not a movie wary and they need to stop to stop the whatever. Just he's in. It was cleaner you have to be like. You're not gonna like this jack but you gotta work with them or something. It's fucking here's the thing in the i i don't know let's call it to fifteen minutes of red heat jim. Belushi and arnold schwarzenegger are teamed up. And that's the move exactly and like you get that shit out of the way early and making an actual buddy thing if they have no time to become but i wonder if i wonder if that was an ego thing with j. c. d. because he doesn't like being buddy debris right that's i am a lone wolf. Okay you can make me a team up with someone myself. That's not all the time. You're very often because god he's janklow and down there. He done a lot of twin movies. Yes that oh my god. Yeah just hates sharing the spot. I don't even think. Rob schneider in that much of knockoff. Beg god thank god thank you. I don't even think they tried to buddy him with him. And the only thing you would need have rob schneider. Is there to be a buddy. Yes yeah he rob. Schneider does the comic relief in that movie. I thought and it's the same director and it was a visually compelling. We're actually seeing locations but whenever schneider's on screen my lord it sucks. Yeah did did j. c. Do a second movie with dennis rodman. No there's a movie called. Simon is just is just dennis rodman. Oh he's the star of yester- is he playing. Yeah as always. We think he's playing simon. I guess i'm really take. That movie gets also requested all the time. Oh is that right. Who interesting better luck next year folks. There's some pool scene where he's trying to find out where his wife is. And this is a bunch of people that are killing everybody right. that's fun. Yeah he infiltrates this compound like that's why they parachuted in and like immediately people are just shooting at him. There is it happens twice in this in this scenes specifically where. It's a close up. Slow motion horrendous. Cgi explosion shot with him like womb. That looks terrible. But i have to hand it to this movie. I cannot recall another film where i see a swimming pool literally. 'cause like he's fighting all these people and then there's this lady who's like pretending to have a baby carriage but there's a bomb in some. Yeah and like then. This lady drops this grin he's got. She has the grenades drops the pin and jc shoots this woman and she drops the grenade in the pool and he starts running away at a mall and the swimming pool. This is one of the biggest explosions i've ever seen. I loved his hesitance at shooting a woman. Like if i close my eyes. It doesn't mean i found the bullets killing nausea darkness She looks like she's going to die. she's got dr a day. Oh shit okay all lady. I'm going to close my eyes and start shooting if you get hit your own vault because in true lies it's doc that's on fire right underneath and it's big fireball. Yeah last shot was similar to me. Yeah but yes so. He finds this abandoned car. There's a recording on loop from stav rose being like. Hey i'm financing your wife's art show better get to rome. Here's the beat of your heart. Heartbeat of your child over. Just repeating and dennis rodman going on in my still in the movie and he's like e seo. Al guess we're going to rome could use deal me a car and he's like i assure can allsteel small car. That'll be humorous. There's something there like. He's criticizing him for stealing the small car and this j. c. d. and the comedy. It's just awful. But he's like you look like a damn carrot with hearing. Thank you dale. I will say that the one thing that bothers me about. This movie is a kiosk. Dennis rodman famous for not just having crazy hair but constantly changing it. You can't have this character. Changes hair as much as it's every sienese in new and it's like you can't do that it doesn't make any sense like you can make the change from the colony sure. That's that's a long time off. Like he does it like he say meets up with junk claude van damme and then and then when he steals a car he has somehow gone to a hair salon and got a different hair style at well. You see steve. The thing about it is That's funny okay. See that's that's calm. I at least. I would need them to show me like them stopping after every one of these expeditions like a gas station bathroom for him to do it in the bathroom with like a just ford rodman hair dye like it's the yes just like every time they leave a place. Yes let's stop and do it sucks because it feels like it's cynical the way that like some movie executives. How am i going to know. What's dennis rodman. Unless he does the weird hair totally and So there in rome. Now and dennis rodman is dressed like dick tracy which is kinda funny this the hat of a jacket. What are we even do any the really big guy but this is an enormous. I would love to know how big the suit actually because it's big odd him. It's a huge burn. Ask suit. I think it was just the big soon. Do they only had to tailor a little bit but future shack lent to him but yes. So there's there's a whole kerfuffle here because he also he looks like he's disguised as robert smith. Yes for for this whole thing here. And there's this other out on some big open area and it's like you know there's agents around everywhere and stav rose is taking catherine the wife to the hospital because he's having like labor pains but it's actually just the thing because star rose knows. Jcp is going to see the driving by or whatever jc vdi runs after her like cocking up this whole thing. And there's this this guy on the horse. That definitely reminded me of andy garcia in godfather. Three of these. Like hey i. I think he reminded me a little bit of epa. Bit like this guy. This copy of the horse of the machine gun like advertising you a little bit i mean. I don't think that this dude looked like no but just the idea of like 'cause 'cause in godfather three right he's posing as the cop and everything they'll haven't still happy young have not gone to number three yet well. There's a part in godfather. Andy garcia disguises himself as a horse riding police officer but this is actually another moment where this is actually a pretty cool set because we actually horse we eventually this this this assassin or whatever gets shot and he falls down. We see the horse stunt fall. Oh man it is kinda great and then yeah. This is rodman running around doing his best fucking cary grant impression. I guess i don't know and like this is. This is where you're right. This was the basketball reference. Because he goes he's up. He's in and then walks for like two steps and he's like i would have to call that a five pointer like boy this guy. This arms dealer. Sure does love basketball. Like i'm not dennis rodman again remember. I'm an arms dealer. It feels like really does remember now. I'm an arms dealer not an outrageous personality who made his career being a basketball bang bang. That's me bang. Bang mr bang bang and So this is the best action. The movie where. Jean claude van damme goes into this hospital. That's a trap. I guess it's our second for anyone keeping track at home second abandoned hospital of the motion picture. And he's got some guy with a cool. Speaking of desperado. A suitcase gonna yeah. This is pretty sweet. I have to say and then there's this other guy who like waiting for him with who has karate skills which rules and they have a really cool karate fight. Is this foot knife guy. A whole knife and this is when i really this. When i wrote data my notes john wick is like we got a guy. That's doing all all these moves. He's got a toe knife. We're we're fully in that mode now totally and again. This is one of those scenes where we're just having like some hand to hand combat crazy fighting crazy gun play a toe knife. As we've mentioned john. Claude van damme. Doing his thing with kicks dennis rodman and the colony nowhere to be found right here and again. This is like the movie settles down and you're like oh fuck you ads just the jcp d. movie again And the cfo short-lived and it is because they fight and like at some point when Damaged like robert smith. He's like Rodman's like i have a brother that can help us ask you have a brother in rome and don't worry about it and then we get to the cyber monks vermont. One like this is like all right. I'm gonna i. I had to pause and just kind of do a pace around the couch like all right. What are we doing here exactly like our campus. I if i was like hell. Yeah i yes. I agree hell. Yeah but it's like this isn't what i wanted. No it's not at all. This is not what i signed on for but like at this point. There can't be. It's only blissfully like a ninety three minute movie and you're like it can't be you know that there's that much left. Let's just stick it out. And then the monks had the audacity to be even dumber. Because it's like you get some line where rodman is like. Oh these monks. They've been collecting information on room for five hundred years. What okay and then one of the monks like accidentally downloads pornography from the internet. And it just goes. It's the internet. And i'm like great ninety seven and we don't know what we're talking about. That was the seventieth take and it was the best one and and speaking of not knowing what you're talking about. Jc returns to one of these monks. And he's like. Do you mind if i give it a try. And he takes the keyboard and just like sends a text message back to the guys at the colony to be like. Hey queen is delight l. o. l. All those guys and they're like. I just wanted to talk to my buddies real quick hold on age sex we got. Is he going to say the location. Wait for him to give the l. Wait first full of people's way link. I need to see if they have that include the dick's picks archive our to load on our twenty. Four point four k modal. My friends that colin they have family got the pick. Our lay on under sun fag. But it gets the job done. That would be funny if they were like trying to like oh pornography and then like literally just pulls out a picture of girlfriend carmen electra. And be like i got covered. Yes something like that. Should have definitely happened in this movie. Might as well. I mean she might as well be in the movie with the whole persona of dennis rodman. Yeah sure why not. She's also like some assassin or some shit and weapons experts. What i don't mind cleared the thinking was we're gonna make a move with dennis rodman. Who in it and everything else is up to you. They should have done. But you know what cabinet i mean i agree with you dude. But if that's the case i'm sorry dennis rodman has to be in the movie and if there's a problem with j. d. not wanting to share the spotlight or whatever then you need to figure out either a another fucking kickboxer for this movie or at like put dennis rodman in mr and mrs smith with him in carmen electra. A movie but don't you love watching these two egos go at it. It's like hey i but really stupid. I also don't really know what they get from these monks location of where he is. And it's also like stop. Rose yes actually is island off the coast or something. Isn't there a tunnel. They they go under the monks also just so happened to have a tunnel that goes right all right well. Are we crack this code. He's just right across the work. We actually have a little tunnel that we can tack it through right turns out. He's on the exact opposite end of our time. You know we have this little switch here and it kills stub rose you like. We're not doing anything with if you want to kill switch there is a There is a painfully nineteen ninety-seven exchange of dialogue. Here when they're leaving the little monk hideout a dennis rodman goes catch you on the internet. My brothers which one of the monks goes are. Wait for your email. Damn that sucks. It's like i get it ha. It's twenty twenty one now. But i'm confident that that was not as funny as they thought it was. In one thousand nine hundred seventy yes but at the time the word internet was funny to like forty up to siegfried and roy crowd. Yes guys at laugh at that joke. The idea that dennis rodman says an email to among is a. d. slapper so there's a whole what is the deal here where they're trying to blow something up like he doesn't have enough wire for it so he's kind like huck. These monks skulls make the connection to blow it up and this is the again goddamn like he throws the first skull he misses and goes whoops airball. I hate practice. But i never missed twice just like just bake dennis rodman than make dennis rodman. That was kidnapped from the nba and had to go on a fucking mission. Absolutely because you know what then all those basketball lines are totally fine and honestly it's pretty fit and yeah. Nba stars also spy. That's funny. we seem globetrotting. You could blow whistles traveling that day so then we get to a third and final. Abandoned hospital of the film is a hotel. But it's also hospital. I guess we're there a hotel. Where's their hotel. When the fights the guy with the knife foot is kind of is kind of a hotel. But i thought it was a hospital. I dunno building a hospital for blake. Eighteen twenties romania. It's a makeshift hospitable. Hospitable in a hotel room. Because i don't think the stavrou skies on the level okay now yet turns out this dude like a nurse there that or is that here this is where the yeah because the whole thing also is that like stav rose is really keeping his eye on the time waiting for his baby be born so he can snatch it like some eastern european myth like he is ready to steal this baby's man but it's also and yes. He has this nurse with him who's been with The the wife the whole time. And i guess at the end she turns against stavropoulos to save the. Yeah 'cause you're really views it she's gonna get kicked to death by jc. If she doesn't yeah that's a good point. She read the writing on the wall but the kicking. Yeah but there's like well. What happens is after the baby is born. Mickey rourke is like kill the women and so there's an assassin coming to the room like you know finish these ladies off and then the one this yeah the doctor she just like shoots the assassin and is like okay now on the side of the angels for some reason killer be killed that player. It's i mean i guess. That's the tough now. Bring the quin baby to the baby room with all the other abandoned ones and this is one of the four times with dennis. Rodman comes in after john. Claude van damme is like. Don't worry man. I got it. And then he doesn't have it and then he comes into a different scenic work. You're doing the other things. 'cause he's like. Hey man i'm gonna take care of your wife. Don't worry about it. And then he then then. Jc goes to find staff and then later he's like i want to take care of your baby. Don't worry about it. it's like okay care by wife an hour ago. What happened to her. And then he's not even taking care of the baby fully because then he just comes back again into this arena of not only tiger. But it's also a minefield because we're we're throwing everything against the wall. Oh that's that's praying that something sticks. That's where we end up is junk damn fines in this style of this calcium that he is rigged with mines. If you could beat defeat by tiger then i will let you keep your son. But if not i will raise them out my own fair bet. Yeah keep save your baby from the tiger in the minds and you get to keep them not bad. I don't think but i don't think rox on the level. I'll be honest with you. I don't yeah. I think i might be up to some maybe just a little bit because also. Why isn't the tiger just snacking on the baby. Come on site treat. Yeah come up. Maybe maybe mickey rourke like covered the bassinet that the babies in like the basket that the babies in with like tiger pests. Yeah you know like the tiger was like all right. I don't know what's going on in there. But it smells like my sitter tendency with this belgian guy. Oh yeah no. Excuse me isn't with lemon juice. Stubb's barbecue sauce put on the baby baptized baby barbecue sauce. Talk us up barbecue sauce. I read it in a national geographic. Fuck shit tennessee. Tennessee baptism there but the tiger thing that makes sense. Why if you're also planning on fighting junk van damme would you put yourself at a disadvantage by putting minds all over the seriously. It's just too much. it's just an additional thing. But i don't know it's it's an additional thing that just it comes out of nowhere much like dennis rodman's dirt bike that he just finds yes. Yeah but dennis rodman is almost like when when it looks like the chips are down and shits about to go south. You just like yingying and like incomes. Dennis rodman on this dirt bike. And i was like wait a second. Where are you taking care of with what is happening. And he grabs the door. I got your babies. Could you get something good. You actually sit down and get something and when did you find this dirt bike. This is ridiculous. Hey do Want me to order a pizza. I i don't know what i'm doing here either. I'm just gonna take care of it that pizza. I'm gonna take care of the wife. She wanted to pizza tuesday. I'm getting hurt pizza to when it robs rodman so what rodman does with the baby. it's hilarious. He like goes into like some tunnel any finds like a loose brick can pulls it out of the wall and he's like all right baby. I'm just gonna stick you in this wall for a little bit. Don't go anywhere and he he definitely has a. He gives the baby a little. I'll be back. Yeah does wow. But jc could balls jc. That's not. I meant when i said i wanted you to take it out of the exploited calcium entirely and go or something when you look when you ask them. How could you call ron. Something goes rat. I could have done that. That is the fucking the torture of my parents home. Visiting for some reason. Could you go get dead dead. Oh all the time. And then the inevitable up of will. I could have done. That happens all the time. How love it actually. I don't love the chaos that it brings to situation jack. Don't worry about the baby. I wedged into this blown-up poll on the side of and i know exactly where it is. When i come back to it. Don't worry about it. I got it. There's also because we're not doing it. With mickey rourke due to reasons that happened in a few minutes but there is this random other assassin but definitely gets eaten by this tiger. Yeah pretty great by the way is played by you know an actual tiger and then a cartoon is well. There's cgi tiger did they dude. It's like a bad music video looking at this thing. Take this same. A real tiger. An animated tiger from the mandalay logo mandalite thought was a cameo. They could not afford the mgm. But like mandalay like at the time they were riding high. Actually mandola i was gonna say i was about to just say you know what i saw title card recently last night. You fucking moron. Sorry and then paul freedman makes his grand. And i'm like dude. Exactly what i mean. And what's kind of funny about it too is like when it's When freeman gets back on screen it's a real like the way they're shooting it the expression on his face. It's like a. Did you miss me like no. I definitely did it you to be about in soon. If not get outta here you get the fuck outta here unless you're going to start melting kind of want. Jcp to fight the tiger to you. Know what i mean like. It's a tease here. I want to the low sweep to tigers legs kicking in the phase. Really do it. I mean then you'd be seeing some real bad computer. Yeah we it would be fucking tony. The tiger would come in with the film brought in famed tiger. Fight choreographer bragging. We're really going to have day which ac vdi. Here i promise you. He's very experienced and tiger fighting. But you've never seen any of the films he worked on. Because yep they're definitely going to unfrosted your flakes motherfucker. Oh dude dance. There's no going. Oh fuck yeah i will see you in house cereal jockey when you get to hell. Tell that fucking leper. I'm coming volume next. He's not going to see a rainbow again. Okay next on the kill list toucan. Sam definitely do that. 'cause days are numbered. You might say. He's extensive that afar strangling bunny rabbits sticker metrics for kids. You none that you on that jury. Ob wanted to but that golden gram bear. i'm going to break with the by is is always high absolute. Oh all the time. That's my love favorite cartoon mask which is perfect because honestly due to get a nice fucking heavy ass bowl golden grams when you're high as a kite. Ooh that's pleasure you know what always sucked remember when there would snap crackle and pop got replaced by popper whatever like did they cut down on the three of them. Really wait they broke. It's a soda. Well no they just like the the mascot wise the other two word is popular so there were times are tight. We're downsizing yeah you know. I would definitely fuck pop but the other crackle that's just people are gonna think that's an app. So get rid of him. He so despondent. He started his own app. I guess the problem is you know we got snap crackle and pop on here. We're trying to show these fucking rice krispies to the masses and every time someone sees crackle they're just thinking about joe dirty word you don't they say snap crackle i like it originally but you know i read a fifty thousand post thread on reddit about how snap and crackle are not a little problematic these days so i think go to pop. I think we're just gonna say from now on. yeah. I think that's it that makes sense. Yeah released apopka. Who knows who knows what the fuck snap was up to. It wasn't good. Rumors are true. Where did they live in a tree at the key. Just the keebler. Since the cat was the keebler elves lived in attracting snap. Crackle and pop know they live in. Your kitchen was the frog. Oh golden shit. The honey smack honey. Smacks frog yes. That's it yeah. Okay yeah honey. Smacks and golden crisp. Almost the exact same serial listeners of you know listening overseas out in the united states. isn't it crazy what we give children to eat sugar different. It was different constitutions. Basically junk on van damme comes. It's like it's almost like a dream this ending because you're in the calcium with all the minds she goes around all over the place Dennis rodman stashes the baby. And then we wind up again in the coliseum announce just karate time for mickey rourke and jean claude van damme. And it's a pretty cool. You know i have to say. I'm glad that dennis rodman went to go stash that baby in a wall because it allowed us another opportunity for this to just be rad. J. c. d. movie 'cause this fight with him. And mickey rourke man. I have to say not too shabby orcas now shirtless and in cowboy boots. Which is what she which what you expect for mickey roy dominated. That's an intimidating and i'll say oh. Yeah it's the lookie has at the end of this movie and it's the lookie has would you delivered domino's pizza. My favorite thing is. He's like one of his underlings. Is like a tall phil spector. He's got this greece curly hair. And i just took me out of the movie every time i saw it. Is this the guy that gets got by the housing thrown into the pit. He's kind of looking. It's it's the tiniest bit like an un handsome vincent casella. Ne also questioned really quickly. We're in a coliseum. Is this the coliseum or just a. i think it might be d- calcium no. I mean there said it's an on on an island right and it all actually. That's right what's is like when we see it explode. It kind of looks like a roman coliseum but like in this actual arena kind of looks like an arena from like. Enter the ninja. Like they do in cockfighting. This thing i got a bullfighting. Feel for some yeah. Imdb take for what it's worth on the trivia the eleventh piece of trivia eleven out of eleven last movie to be shot in the rome's coliseum out so the fact the the italian government would let this get while i gue- everything away never mind. What a what a. I don't know i feel like that's insulting to the history of the planet. Yeah i think it's a thing where it's like all right So we allow double team to come through. Okay and i know i know. I know we're talking about closing up shop guys. Did you see that fucking movie. i'm here. I'm hearing word. I'm hearing word that ridley scott's got something it's literally called gladiator. Maybe we should help them out with that. Oh no we said. The last movie is both deep. And you don't know. Dennis rodman could be in that gladiator picture so no way another piece of trivia. Which is actually. It's a country. this page. vandamme had three other films get a theatrical release in australia after this film. They were the legionnaire knockoff and universal soldier. The return so berry shut up. Shut up stop with the trivial. You don't know what you're talking about all it's incredible. These idiots are now fighting with each other because they closed the message boards and fucking hell was full. And now they roam the Good call reopened the message boards. Let those people hash it out there and exchange childhood. Yup that's exactly right. Both things that have happened there and not sullied the good reputation of the trivia pages of so. They're fighting and dennis like dennis rodman says. Oh hey mickey rourke. Guess what i moved. All those crosses he he he ed. Mickey records dow standing on a land mine and a tiger is coming towards him now. Here's a question. Because i was straight up again not understanding what was going on but it sounded to me like dennis. Rodman was telling mickey rourke that he was the one that set all the minds. because what is he talking about like. Oh i was getting creative. And i switched this with that because you see rodman initially steps on a mine and you see him like deflation screwing someday confuses it with a pin is supposed to be an earring that he puts into it to make it. Not explo- mickey working. People put all these minds everywhere which kind of defeats the purpose to mark where they are with. These crosses to begin with right. And then dennis rodman apparently whenever he was done stashing babies or i don't know waiting time moved. A couple of these crosses so now there's one next to j. c. j. c. v. d. And we think that he's standing on one but it turns out he's not you stavros ross. And and they like you know they know what's up. Mickey rourke knows what's up rose knows the line him you know and they fucking the fucking shag out of there dude and this is just i mean mickey rourke steps off this thing he and the tiger instantly. The tiger is standing right next to berated. I instantly you. Here's my question. The tigers come at you and you're standing on mine. Do you incinerate yourself. I or just to see what tiger bites like. You know like what did shot and then. We'll incinerate yeah. I guess you're right but maybe maybe it's the thing where like if the tiger attacked you like let's say jumped all the way up on you and knock you down right. Maybe it's enough that the tigers huge animal kingdom body would shield you from some of the and maybe you survive because tiger was laying on you. Jump off the land mine at the right second and yet to grab the tighter under the belly and move it down -sition its spine directly towards right. Well hey tony these cornflakes or little spacey job. Yeah now he's talking flakes for sure tiger clicks. I think maybe you might be protected by the tiger if this was a normal mind but this is a two ton mine in forty tons of gasoline around it this thing it collapses the fucking coliseum. Why it's really something. It's like a nuclear explosion. And everything's getting incinerated this building that stood two thousand years of history or something. It's fucking blowing up yet. What what's this coca cola machine. Let's all high behind this and that survives the entire explosion without a problem. One quick correction multi coca cola sheens in this coliseum hallway. I counted at least six coming up on seven. Yeah fisher a lot of instead people in rome all already an ice cold coca cola. Dude yeah you just imagined before this. Just happy dynamite. Businesses saved a forty tons of dynamite. Tonight i mean this coca cola. Vending machine is taking this blast. Like it is captain america's. She is the craziest shit. Oh my god and what. I didn't remember that last. Bit of trivia. You said steve but there was something in the trivia. My correct that this and this it feels like this has to be wrong but it says that this was the first movie that a coca cola vending machine was actually featured yes as product place which ab has to be wrong at has to be. That's an sale. These people need to be imprisoned. Billy wilder made a coca cola movie. What is what are you. How are you officiating. That like are you saying. There's never been a coca cola machine in a movie before this. Yes that's what the statement kind of sounds like which is pretty dumb pain. There's no way but so you know every everything's all blown up. It is the best product placement of all time and freeman flick. Time to take you back to the colony or kill you or whatever. I'm doing in this movie. And then just changes his mom. I'm going to be honest You know the cheese steaks they close about eight eight. Apm and i need to get there so you know what you go ahead. You're you're fine. You're fine i'm part of the colony and everything. I renounce it all. Dennis rodman also weird coin. Exploding coin trailed he saves junk van damme from paul freedman by throwing the coin. Adam yeah and jcp drives away and then paul freedman like well. I guess i'm my work. Here is done something here. Dude it is in is dumb as dog freeman. Tudela puff puff. Remember as the second to last line in the movie. The last of the movie is dennis. Rodman saying to lou and it sounds like there's a question mark at the end of the sentence but paul freeman is like after that whole batman. Smoke bomb thing. He's like young quite magician. Ms disaster i have to go make the bluebird special like you know this guy's a day what are you talking about. What on earth are you talking about. I don't know man. It just fucking sucks and yet rodman's dislike to lou and the last line is the fine. Yes yes. He's talking about the fines. And i think you're right. Maybe he's like. Oh fuck. I'm going to hear from the commissioner about this okay editor david. Stern had fucking control over fucking rome. What are you talking about man. You know what's funny is. He was about to say david stern. And then i wasn't sure if he was commissioner in the nineties was oh wow oh that's the mistake use you heard. Nba youtha national basketball. It's national blow up academy. Let me watch that movie. Please please let that be a movie. The national blow up academy my god. You can major in one of two things either like explosions dynamite. All that shit or also sexto. Yes blow up a spy master reggie miller. Yeah i like this. do you get the whole. Cast of angle drew back together. Cattery a movie. I did not hate see either. Very funny i watched it. I guessed it on an old nathan. Ray-ban podcast ages ago. And i went. I went and went and saw it in the theaters. As a matter of you know what regret a thing theaters. Remember those ado man soon. Enough dude we'll see But faulk yeah. I don't know we never find out of. He's gonna get a fine from the commissioner of the movie man. Oh man when anybody recommend double team will start with you. steve would. it's just it's actually It's much shorter than this episode. Ninety minutes it's it moves insanely quickly. It's entertaining and baffling and very very very bad. It's the seeing is believing bad movie. I don't know if i'll go back to it ever but for one time ticket. I think it's worth it. Totally chris. kelly. Yes enthusiastically i i. I really like this kind of action. But like this is very in line with Harks chinese i'll put He does movies like this where it's disorienting. Everything goes really quick. So i was kind of more acclimated to. I'd watched one or two of his movies recently. So was a little bit more acclimated to that. But like i do. I prefer being confused and like just shocked by action movies than being like. Oh yes we have to get to nicaragua because nicaragua is where the arms and the arms. And i'm like. I don't care i don't care about any of this. I just want a action in antics to happen in this delivered for me. Fair enough my friend eric. Six also an enthusiastic recommend for me which is funny. Because i watched this movie when it came out. I don't know if i saw in the theater but probably video or something right after. So i saw it in the nineties and i disliked it and i was wrong but i mean i mean. It's okay to dislike a movie right folks. Dennis rodman stuff doesn't really work. Andrew what you were saying about this being a kick ass j. c. d. movie in those certain sections. That's what sells me on the movie. I think i think it's it's fun. Time ninety three minutes zooms by enough. Yes it's recommend from me. Yeah i mean. I guess i'd say it's like a light recommend for me. I mean really because like only a third of this movie is what i was interested in all the shit with the colony it's wasted. It could have been cool but they do absolutely nothing with it. And then like i just i do not understand trying to put dennis rodman and move understand it but like jesus he's really fucking bad you guys like it was just distracting dad and that dirt bike out of nowhere. I'm just. I'm gonna go the rest of my days trying to figure out where he got that fucking thing from But like yeah you know you could do and you know like everyone has been saying the brisk -ness of it all really does help because like i did have to pause it at one point and i knew i knew we were right there at the end but it was just a really. I gotta go to the bathroom situation. And you know i was pleasantly surprised to find. I had twelve minutes left. It's like okay. I will take twelve minutes left of this movie but yes light recommend for me and ladies and gentlemen that is the end of the twenty twenty one listener request month can even date god three out over the five movies we did from the year. Nineteen ninety-seven is that right. Yeah that's got to be a new road really. She's because the the only thing that wasn't was what poltergeist to 'cause eighty six and vertical limit which was two thousand. Everything else only looks like. It's from ninety one that is right but if you want more. We hate movies including Some more listener requested content. Be sure to head. Over to the patriarch of course patriot dot com slash movies. We got a movie on the w. l. m. entry That was from one thousand nine hundred ninety that of course goodfellas. A jam packed three hour episode. That'll have you laughing and get your little hungry. We also have Ka the snyder. Cut the standard sessions on the ten dollar fee. are small series on the snyder justice league movie which is really something. Also we have. Some listener requested nexus episodes to wild discussions about some t. and g. apps Listener requested hauch equity Glossary that guy was a a horse new republic fighter. That is our star wars sideshow about just random fucking star wars characters and the listeners delivered. This year i believe and also on the animation damnation side of things. We've got transformers with a interesting episode carnage in c minor absolute. Hell yes we talk about sex maneuvers so sign up the ass and We we we will be dropping a single commentary for enter the ninja a cannon movie than fucking rules the school movie if you're in the united states as of this recording. It is on amazon prime video so they do not want us news on that one. That'll be out by the end of the month. I've q- seed like half of it. It's fucking fun. Time fun asked movie. We had fun talking over it. So that's going to be a blast but the great thing is on top of all the content including the new wall tier with melrose two one. Oh which we did put out. Also it's the season one finale of melrose era Nine hundred zero and then a totally fucking garbage episode of melrose place. Happy to have that show back But on this feeds steve next tuesday. There's an all new episode where kicking listener requests month out. That's old news. what are we talking about. We'll be talking about only connery movies in the month of april. That's right. it's an when he gives us a snappy title now nah nah fuss just a bucket bucket. I got one for you. Let's call sean. Gone show gone in earnest. You live twice doing a bond movie. Everybody man who would be king we. Yes yes initially thought. Maybe this james bond movie would be coming out but so you know what listen to our bond episodes now and then see that movie later. There you go. Yeah there you go. It's just we're we're ramping up the bond excitement for next fall when it fucking comes out or whatever. I recently read this in quarantine. I was starting to do like a bhandari watching then petered off somewhere after. Live and let die but yeah. There's there's going to be some stuff to talk about so until next week with you only live twice. I'm andrew japan stevens sadek. Eric cisco chris gavin take it easy. That was a hate gum podcast.

dennis rodman jack quinn Van damme rodman Claude van damme basketball belgium Mickey rourke stavridis marriott corporation John spartan india academy Ken stevens sadek eric sue arc steve jean kareem abdul jabbar nicholas cage mickey ward karate weightlifting
The Sedano Show (Hr 1)

Afternoons with Marcellus & Kelvin

00:00 sec | 2 years ago

The Sedano Show (Hr 1)

"One two three four five. What's up Donald show here on ESPN LA, Freddie, prints junior? I guess co host today thing reserved we're standing we are standing I like to stand what I'm outside here in the plaza area landing. So I'm gonna stand. Okay. Don't don't feel free to sit. If you'd like don't I just like to move around. I feel like I'm better when I'm moving around. I feel like you want to do the whole Jesus thing where you're from center the table standing, and then everyone else is sitting. Because you're. Look upwards toward me. This water into wine staple center that is funny though. Very funny. But no, I do I don't know about you. But do you pace when you're on the phone? I'm a pacer when I'm on the phone like I walk around the house. I'm never a pacer. I'm always a Lakers. So probably sit down Macau or something. Okay. Yeah. No, I want when I would. I'm actually on the phone, which is rare these days either pacing or I'm in the car. Those are usually the only times I'm actually on the phone you pace while in the car then. Yeah. That would be then you impress me at that point. It would be mad skills. So tonight, the Lakers hosting the bucks. So you're saying there's a chance I actually do think there's a chance telling me why I've seen LeBron in these situations where the guy that's coming. In is the favourite to win the MVP people are like ooh that Jaanus. He's a shiny new car. He that car and that the new it thing, and that he like takes bridge with that stuff. And he's wait a second. I gotta approved people. I'm still the guy, and he'll take these matchups to kind of do that. I've seen him. Do it with staff I've seen it. Do it with harden. I've seen it do it. Just kind of a cross the board over the last six seven years, and I feel like tonight is going to be one of those nights. Rare nights. He's going to be gauged from the minute that we tip here. All right to question are the stakes high enough for him to get motivated to do that. And Secondly, yes, even if they are how do you stop a guy who can literally be anywhere. He wants on the court in three steps. How do you do that? Even if you're LeBron James because look if you're LeBron James your bigger, and you're stronger now, I don't know if he's stronger, I don't know if he's straight thick. So I still think he is I I mean, we can debate that all day, I don't know their bench presses. But I don't know if he's stronger. Okay. That kid is that kid is like watching Roy Jones junior right before he be James Toney and people go in is not going to be James Toney, James. Tony's gonna put it on them. And then everybody saw ROY woop James Toney. And they're like y'all who Roy Jones junior? That's to me. What Jaanus is right now. Like he's about to become the one, right? He's I don't know if you can stop the one. Yeah. But here's the other thing you can do with Neo this. This the at least he can't shoot the ball from the outside. Have you not what's his last case hit shooting from the outside? That's fine. I'll pack the paint. I'll play off him and say, okay, I'll give him a step towards he so good. I have the NBA league pass. And I've been watching Milwaukee. Yes. I'm telling us. He's that good February. He's shooting the ball. Nice too bright. It's not, but I'll take my percentages. But I'm telling you not like the month changed over. And he's like now, I'm not good at it. I will take my chances with him shooting the ball. I don't think he's very good at it. He's won't have too because you'll back up three feet and just launch from their intent gone to that potentially. But the other guys those guys can shoot those are the guys I worry about. But I do think that LeBron is going to take. Take this one really serious. And when he does that I think that this team can go to different heights. Now, he talked about being quote unquote activated for playoff modal early. Well, we've kind of only see that in glimpses. It's on him. This team will go as far as he takes it. So he's gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of not making the playoffs. So at some point, whether I know he says that you know, he had the line of. Well, you know, if you make it you make you worry about it when you don't make it. Yeah. You're about to get clowned. So you better start worrying about it. Well, hold on. Let me just approaches from a different way because saying it's all on him. Because if you find say like a great well known respected writer director, and you bring them to your project. They will all make you the same promise, which is I can make this as good as it can be right. If fails it's not all on them. They can only take the project that you've presented them as far as the goods of that. Can can take them the team is better with him than without that's obvious. So I don't know if it's all on him. If they don't make the I don't know. I don't know. I think it's all on him in this sense. I when I mean all on him. I mean, the avalanche is gonna fall in the pre look if they make the playoffs it's going to be LeBron dragged them to the playoffs. But if they don't make the playoffs he they can make all the excuses. They want and there are some that are valid. Don't get me wrong. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Particularly the roster construction that we've talked about his July. Okay. And the best three players on the team all got hurt rights for sure. But here it is they've had the their chances. And they've blown it against bad teams that I won't. So that's that allow hosted outside they played the Knicks at home. They got smacked who lost like one hundred and twenty seven in a row. Right. And they clown rice. Yeah. So yeah. I I think that what's going to happen is yes, we can kind of sit there and do the thing and have some nuance to it. And talk about the roster construction all things we've talked about. But if you're the best player in the world, you should still be able to drag that team into the playoffs in the west. I don't care about that. Being the west you're the best player in the world to drag the team into the playoff teams clippers don't even have their best player anymore. If you put Portland in the east, they'd be competing for top. I understand what I'm talking about the seven eight spot in the west is not that good San Antonio's, not a good. We're not that far behind. We're only three days back. But that's what I'm talking about. Like, you shouldn't be San Antonio and the kings and the clippers if you have those guys I know that help. Has been the thing. He was out three weeks. Lonzo still out Rondo broke his frigging hand and came back like that's three of our top four guy. Lebron freaking Jane he wasn't here. But now he's here. Okay. Well, and they want they just want. That's what I'm saying. You got twenty one more games. Let's go. All right. So they're going to win tonight. I think so I think it's just got paid nothing to play. He's yet for sure I'm with I do believe that's actually the case. Okay. Last time. He played us. He dropped like twenty something. Right. Coming up next. Stop big day for the end of the morning show is out there today. We'll talk a little soccer with our buddy. Max Brito who is the voice of LAF. She of course, works for us here at ESPN is well one of the sports sportscenter guys hands on. So he is a handsome, man. We'll talk to max in just a moment. Plus, I got a great story about the movie predator and John Claude van Damme that I want to get to two things. I love we're back in three minutes. Freddie press junior hanging out down show. ESPN LA sit down a show here on ESPN LA pretty prints junior. I guess co host today on Warren g you in the background Pedro Gomez, by the way. Gonna join us about fifteen minutes. Was randomly just texted with Pedro a few days ago. That's funny. I didn't know you knew it. I sent him a picture of my son's first baseball game ever. Okay. And he sent me a back of a photo of him almost in the same like poses me with my son with little Rio. Oh, wow. At reels. First baseball game. Right. Patriots. Got some buff Cavs, bro. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Those things so hold up a pool table. I'm telling you, man, he's got that bone density. They wanted to at the NFL combat show. I we're bringing him on a fellow Cuban at three fifty five, and we got another fellow Cuban and Max Brito is gonna join us in a second. Peru quick. I want to talk about this John Claude van Damme story that I saw in the movie predator of junk. So I read it in Hollywood reporter today that junk van Damme was supposed to be the original predator like the actual predator. And the reason he he talks about in the story in the Hollywood reporter how yeah came in. And I did my John Claude van Damme things, and they're like, oh, you're great. Let's do it. You're hired the helicopter, right? So they had told him that it was just going to be like a half human half alien kind of things it wasn't going to have to get in this crazy costume, then he shows up to the set and they're putting him in a cast for the crazy costume. And they're like, oh, yeah. You gotta be some Vitale's. We got to put you on stilts. And he's like, I can't do any of this stuff. You want me to do on stilts? So they had one of his stunt guys. Try to do the stunt that they wanted to do like allegedly broke his life. He's like I'm out. It's over different though. The predator would. It was Sean Claude van Damme was doing like crazy. Be way sex here. There will be predator children all over there. Now's a handsome man of the nineties. Not lying. Yeah. Speaking of handsome, men, Max Brito snout joins us here. Donald show. Max would you have liked John Claude to have been the predator? No, by the way, John Claude van Damme. Great Instagram follow. Really? Oh, yes. Yes. I these crazy. But in a funny, kind of cool with really crazy. Okay. Follows young of antennas gray. And is that the Miller familiar tones to it? So it's quite enjoyable. Anyone who grew up watching as all of us? I'm sure classify following junk LeVine damage heyday that just makes us old. Yeah. It really does. It doesn't make I in other words. So max L AFC gets gets it going the morning show the big event there today look made the playoffs last year. I mean what an exciting inaugural season. Why should be why should we be extra excited heading into this particular season? One thing the exciting me for all the all the unknowns that Elliott were going into and they're going to do stadium and they're playing their first game going their first away game and scoring I go they come to the season. They've done all that. And everyone is back. It's the same team. And most every other team certainly at the top Major League Soccer has replaced. Somebody significant Elliott he lost a couple complementary players, but that nucleus is back coaches back and now they have their creature comforts going with regards to their stadium. It's that it's they don't feel like a new they're still a new team. But it doesn't feel like that. It's feel like they've put some time in and there's some there's some ghost in that stadium because of all things that happened. And now, they can really go. Go about their business. And it's I think it's going to be pretty seamless that more than anything that lack of turnovers go, I think really do this team. Well, that seems to be the problem with most professional sports teams. Now not being able to hold onto their players. How does MLS fair at doing that compared to the other professionals sports out there? It's it's it. It comes in different direction. One thing that kind of happened which has been great is the scouting improved a Major League Soccer where they're getting these young players mainly from South America or the Caribbean or Central America and getting them when they're they're developing case in point Atlanta with Miguel alvie role and it was from powered by young age. And now they've sold him and they're gonna profit to Newcastle United in the English Premier League. So they're getting the business of developing players those players get it's what level where they're pretty good and LA have one of those guys in giggles off the and this past season Carlos Vela was rumored to possibly going Barscelona. I it's hard to say no to the big money. It's you know, it's about the bottom line here. But I think they're really thrilled that they can get that mechanism in place where they're finding the young players and they're coming to the United States instead of other leagues or United States and Canada, I should say and at some point if they pan out it becomes a good business. So that's the new phenomenon that's happening. And allie. Saying is playing regularly with Newcastle. United and Alphonso Davies who teenager Canadian teenager is now with Byron Munich, and they they make good profits on that. That's like the new thing. So at least you can have these players when they're young for a couple of years. And then if the price is right. Let them go to one of the big names in your max, if they're already making profit on some of these players are they just getting lucky with with a few scouts, or is there enough infrastructure in place where the minor leagues is going to be able to do this and give the sport that kind of sustainability. It's I don't wanna pull it a crap shoot. Because it's still I mean, they go about their business way they vet these guys pretty well. But you never know especially when you're dealing with a kid from overseas, and how he's going to have to live in the United States, but the Scouting's improving, and they're obviously, and I say that I think they also have to keep an eye out for those young American players, which they are competing with the European teams for the European teams. If they see a good sixteen seventeen year old American player Christian politic and other going to get them, and they know they have to find him early. So America's look this fertile ground. So the thing with the MLS, it's it's it's such a war out there for for talent. Because unlike the National Football League or major league baseball, you're competing with leagues all over the place. So it almost feels like a feeding frenzy and their scouts everywhere. Germany and Italy and England and the United States and Mexico, and they're looking to find that guy. You're not it's not just the singular efforts. Max is joining us. She, of course, the voice of the L AFC. And of course, it sportscenter here with us at ESPN, I you know, to your point earlier about just kind of mining talent. And finding talent I saw storing USA today today, where Josie outdoors says the sport just isn't for rich white kids anymore here in this country, which I think is is something promising certainly. Yeah. I mean, but we wouldn't rule out rich white jeeter. I mean, some of these kids that are whatever the the socioeconomic economic background this this there's you know, there's players out there that are really good. You want them to get exposed to the good coaching and being committed to the sport of soccer. There's so many ways they can go off that path. And I mean thirteen or fourteen years old, and you're good talker. On the sports you're going to go the one that seems like it'll be the best fit for you play. Like Collor Murray was a soccer player, and he on I'm better at this football thing, I'm gonna go. But there's that transition right around that age where you want to make sure you can get these guys, and you probably look for them. And I hope they can unearth that because it always feels like it's been lacking in this country where we have we may have missed on our messy or somewhere playing on a field and Santa Ana or maybe in Grand Rapids, Michigan. But you've gotta throw a bigger net. And I think we're getting there, but we're still gonna miss on some players somebody's checks. Balances with certainly with MLS end the academies that they are developing that you're gonna find these kids. They're good at the sport there. They'll get on the right path. Max Alana experts thought boxing went by the wayside because they started losing the best athletes for boxing to other sports. It seems like soccer here in America is getting to the popular point again with with children paint or less children playing football. Do you think there's a chance for some of those those sort of born athletes who would probably be great at any sport to become our next stars here. Yeah. A lot, and there's a lot of appealing factors. Just if you turn on the television, and you can see the Champions League the Premier League. And I I would imagine if you're a young kid, and your soccer or Major League Soccer neck, you look at a stadium in Atlanta or LA. I wanna play I wanna do that. I think there's much more appeal where it seems so far away in such a pipe dream. Now, you can see it everywhere. You can look at Christian pulisic playing Champions League soccer for Bruce Dorfman. And if you like soccer, you go football or you wanna call it. You could say I I can do that. And I could do it probably pretty quickly if I get into the right hands of coaches and so forth. There's just I mean soccer is so saturated now with everything, and it's become a major sport here. And it's the TV it's the media coverage it other development of players as well. And and certainly Major League Soccer becoming more and more prevalent. I remember calling these days when it was in its infancy and itself so small time it's built so. So far away from the epicenter of sports in this country. It's a lot. It's getting a lot warmer now getting close to that spot. Max Breda's voicemail AFC. Make sure you check out ESPN plus sign up. It's only four ninety nine a month because they've got the ten part series on what to expect from L AFC. Right. Like, you guys have basically done your own like hard knocks right? Yeah. Yeah. It's a reality show. It's real easy watch you can get that in like a couple of sessions that I would have had me in a little bit more. But that's okay. I'm not done. And by the way, Georgia Freddie, get you down with game this season. You really you'll love it. It's a beautiful stadium outta there's any question, man. There you go. We know somebody you can make that happen. You're not somebody you're in. All right. Sounds good. I I'm gonna drop you one Cuban for another Cuban and Pedro Gomez. Yeah. I. Take care max Broncos with this year. We're going to switch gears talk Bryce Harper did Bryce Harper make the right decision. What's next for the dodgers? How worried should we be about Clayton Kershaw? Pedro Gomez ESPN insider joins us next Friday, prints hanging out. So Donald show ESPN LA sit down a show here on ESPN LA. It's the Latino show because Freddie's quarter Regan. I'm Cuban max Broncos was just on with us. He's cubit. And patriot Gomez is Cuban and he is set to join us Z their funches. He's ready to roll Pedro Gomez ESPN MLB insider joins us now here on these Sodano show. Remember, I'm the only one here that can keep you all out of jail when everything hits the fan that is true. All right. Establish that I paid Maury Georgie. Why didn't you tell me? It was Freddie, I would've talked to. Yes. Like three hours ago. Well, I mean, I'm sorry. To avoid. You see I didn't. I didn't. I wanted to test. Our friendship is basically what I was doing to see if you want Pat you, Pat. Yeah. There you go. Well, I didn't I didn't realize you would FREDDY were cool until he showed me, you know, that. You know that that conversation. You guys had I realize you sent me pictures of rocky planet first little league game. I know. That's what he's he. That's what he showed me. He showed me you and your coaches shorts. They're back in the day with your. And that's what my little professional baseball player. Now. I know that's amazing, man. Great name for a pro athlete real. Yeah. It is it's tremendous. There's no doubt. Hey, so page A. We obviously here have been talking a lot like everybody about the Bryce Harper news. And I saw Bob Nightingale his tweet about what the offers were were you surprised that Bryce wouldn't bet on himself, and maybe take another bite at the apple especially through the dodgers were offering way over value as far as per year for a shorter term deal. Like, what were your thoughts on that? I mean extent you are surprised because you know, he entered free agency in another three seasons. So it's not like you're talking about somebody being thirty four thirty five doing it. John somebody being twenty nine, but you know, when it's all said and done I obviously he knows so Adelphia. Well, I mean, you know, he was with the nationals. They play nineteen games against the Phillies. Every year you plays either nine or ten games that year in Philly. He knows the ballpark. He knows the fans, and obviously he. Decided thirteen years in one place rather than three and then jump to a new place three years from now potentially. He he wants to say I wanna be affiliate the rest of my career. And that everything I'm hearing is that played the biggest role in this patriot Phillies already going to be kind of a monster this year. Oh, man. They made great moves before this one. They got they got a lot of guys that we wanted here before we. But I'm curious with their contract. And I'm curious to kinda how these conversations go. Do they sit with Bryce and do they talk about the plan for the rest of the money or money next year, or perhaps when someone like Mike trout comes available or those conversations that aren't taking place with Bryce now absolutely took place. They he wanted to know what is the plan? What is the five year plan to ten year plan? And when you look at it. I mean, look Jake Arrieta is here. He signed a three year deal last year. Well, he's making about twenty five year that money comes off the books in exactly two years. And we know there's a certain guy that plays in Orange County that is going to be a free agent potentially in exactly two years. So if you take every atas twenty-five off now all of a sudden, you can say, hey, we can go thirty year. Whatever, you know, the going rate is for trout at that point. And if he wants to play pay. Basically at home because he is from southern New Jersey. You know, the Phillies are the team he grew up rooting for it. You know, if you just connect the dots. You can see that scenario taking place. I'm not saying it will. But I think that Ardi Marino. And the angels are under a lot of pressure to try to lock him up before he hits free agency and looking Nolan Aaron autos case he wanted to stay with the Rockies. He did not wait the one year to become a free agent. He knew that's where he wanted to be. But in trout's case who knows who knows what's going to happen. But you can definitely see a scenario where trout might be joining Harper here, and you know, look aside from Harper. The moves the Phillies made this winter, you know, they signed Andrew mccutchen and David Robertson the closer as free agents. They trade for JT real Muto behind the plate who has had rave reviews so far since he's been here. And then they also trade for gene cigar. Hera a two time all star shortstop. Yeah. The Phillies are the team to be. Guys are getting hurt in the division. I think in that division. I think they're the team to beat. But yeah, it's gonna be fascinating to see how that ends up. That was going to be my question. My follow to you about trout because he's from jersey, right? Like, south jersey E, he's an essence affiliate kid or I mean, they're just basically outside the city. So yeah, that's a real possibility. And I saw that he said he's not interested in having any talks about it right now or once the season starts, so they're basically going into next off season. They're going to have to go in with a real plan. The angels to get that thing done or it could be a disastrous situation for them. Well, there's no doubt. I mean, look you're talking about a guy that's been there for for the better of six or eight years. Whatever it is that after look it up. I don't have it right in front of me right now. And they've never won a postseason game since he's been there. So, you know, at some point do you decide I want to stay in angel. And I know he loves the angel or do you want to? To try to win. And that's where I think the pressure's gonna come on the angel to show not just trout at their fan base. Hey, we're here we want to compete. We wanna win. You know, the Phillies are making the absolute rock solid moves to you know, they showed Bryce Harper. We wanna win look at all the moves we've made and Harper bought in. And he's here now, though, I think there's a lot of pressure on the angels over the course of the next year or so to to show trout, we're also in it. And we also, you know, have a plan to win. It's not it's one thing to say it, but you've got to back it up with real moves. And that's what the Phillies have done here. You're listening to k SPN Los Angeles locally here. The angels have done a great job of spending that money on on good players and spinning good money on bad players. So when you say things like there's pressure on him. They haven't been able to rise to those those occasions since artists had the team from Vernon to Josh to to pool holes. To Gary Matthews germiness just they've had a ton of big strikeouts. When it's come to that how much confidence is there. The travel still be an angel. That's the case that a lot of people think it's gonna come down to does. He want to stay there and be comfortable or does he want to go somewhere and win. And you know, I'm just telling you what people in the game are saying. So I think it's going to be interesting to see what happens in Anaheim. And where that situation goes because you're talking about a generational player. A surefire fire hall of Famer. And you know, he's got the possibility to leave in another two years. So you know, I it may actually come down to if the angels. Absolutely no that Mike trout is going to hit free agency. No matter what. Well at that point. You know, I'm not saying this season, but maybe next season or in the off season, they look to make a tray because you've got to get something for an asset that valuable so there's a lot of different scenarios out there. And I don't think anything's going to happen in the. Short term. But I think there's like I said there's a lot of pressure on the angels to try to show trials because the money is going to be there regardless for trout. So it's not like the angels can say, look, we're willing to give you this much money. Anybody is going to be willing to give trout that kind of money. It's about the plan. Petra Gomez ESPN insider with this year. Freddie prince junior hanging out Saddam show, ESPN LA. Let's switch gears back to the dodgers. Look when we're sitting here looking at Clayton Kershaw, and we're breaking news or breaking down. The fact he's playing catch that can't be a good thing. Pedro how worried should dodger fans and the dodgers in general be about Clayton Kershaw right now. I mean, look, I've always been told and this isn't because of Kershaw. I've always been told the pitchers worst nightmare is a shoulder injury. Because the shoulder is basically, you know, it's a it's an LA freeway interchange where there's eight million different roads in the shoulder, whereas an elbow. There's only a couple of things. So an elbow was much as Tommy John type surgery is is you know, is bothersome in hurts and you have to miss fourteen months, or whatever it is. It's only that ligament that you have to fix whereas shoulder has ended a lot of careers. You know, Dallas Brayton had a brilliant career. And he was young and his shoulder got messed up, and that was it. Mark moulder, another guy with a brilliant career and his shoulder. Got messed up at that. Was it? It's a lot harder to rehab shoulder. That's why really don't hear that much anymore about torn LeBron James or rotator cuffs because the look the the way of. Those up is certainly advanced, but those injuries don't happen anymore because the shoulder is just so intricate of a joint, and that's the worst injury for a pitcher. So in kershaw's case, obviously every dodger fan is hoping this is just nothing more than maybe tendinitis or a mild strain. But you know, the fact that he's just playing catch at this point in the season starts exactly four weeks from today on March twenty eighth, you know, at some point if he's not getting on the mound. You've got to start thinking he may start the season on the DL and or the injured list as it's called now instead of the disabled list anymore, and you know, that's the blow. There's no doubt that the blow in you. Also, look at the fact that Kershaw has spent time injured the last I think three seasons it might be for that. He has been on the DL. Pedro it it definitely sort of throws a wrench in the works as far as the rotation. But is there a chance of orios moving into the starting rotation as opposed to being more of a seven or a setup for kenley, or do you think they'll still keep that off the table to control his innings? Now, I think Dave Roberts talked about that. But there could very well be an opening for orients to to make his way into the rotation. And you know, that would come at the expense of someone else. Whether that is because you know, someone like Kershaw Cam start the season because he's injured or he just outperformed somebody and earned the spot. The dodgers are definitely open to seeing if orients is is ready to make that jump and. Yeah, you do have to control innings and things like that. But at some point, you just have to see if a guy can pitch and just see if he can get out there every five days, and I think the dodgers may very well be at that. At juncture with oriented where it's all right? Let's go, you know, the Yankees if you about ten twelve years ago had a similar situation with Java Chamberlain tried to control it rather than just say, you know, what just get out there and start, and let's see what happened, and you know, his career was short lived a lot. Because a lot of people think that if they hit just let him go build up his arm and say go, I it it might have turned out differently. But in jobs case, you know, he is career was very short because of maybe because of mismanagement because they try to control too much. Pedro Gomez with this year on the Sodano show on ESPN LA one last thing will before we let you go. You know, obviously, we started the conversation talking about Bryce in the dodgers kind of not willing to go ten years or whatever. Like everyone else was or ten years. Plus, they don't really make a huge splash in free agency that Pollick or whatnot. Do you believe that they missed out on an opportunity in this particular free agency by not adding one of the superstar players that were available? Well, the dodgers one of the clubs that definitely can do it. We know that you know, the dodgers move this off season. We're nice. I mean, you added AJ Pollock and centerfield. You gotta Joe Kelley to the bullpen. And when you look at the dodgers really their biggest issue when when it came down to it was they had difficulty getting from the sixth or seventh inning to the ninth inning. So a guy like Joe Kelley could very well be that bridge that helps them close close that loop that whole in. They're in their game planning. You know? I it's hard to say did they miss out because that's a huge commitment. And it may alter you from being able to do other moves in a year or two because let's face it. The dodgers may have very very big contracts coming up if you know, Cody Bellinger continues to pan out that's going to be a very very large contract is Cory Seager comes back in his healthy that could be a very large contract looming for them. So they potentially do have some large deal that could be coming to that organization. And they may have to be looking at that. And maybe not being able to jump in the end of the pool with a Machado or a or a Bryce Harper. But you look at the National League right now. And there's about eight clubs that you can absolutely say these guys all have legitimate champ be in the World Series. And the doctors are so one of those clubs and Walker. Bueller? Looks like he's emerging as a, you know, top five type starting pitcher you need more than one. Obviously. But boy, if you if you've got feeler, and you know, you you don't need a lot more at that point, you that's that's a that's a big big step right there. So it's hard to say that they miss out. They can do it. So in that case. Yeah. Maybe but they're still they're still one of the clubs that that could very well be playing late. Not Tober very is ESPN MLB insider, Pedro Gomez friend of the program only. Thank you for coming on. Appreciate it on our Bilo. All right. You got it there. It is federal Pedro Gomez with this year on ESPN LA coming up next. I listen we're gonna get back to the Lakers here. Just a second. Lebron has stated that he is offended. Freddie, prints junior. He wanted me he has taken offense to something. That's been said about him. We'll tell you what that isn't just a second. Nice.

ESPN Pedro Gomez LeBron James Bryce Harper dodgers LA Georgia Freddie Phillies soccer Clayton Kershaw Max Brito John Claude van Damme Lakers Donald Major League Soccer baseball Mike trout James Toney L AFC Max
Bloodsport With Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, and Jason Concepcion

The Rewatchables

1:27:04 hr | 2 years ago

Bloodsport With Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, and Jason Concepcion

"Today's episode is brought to you by voodoo. It's leading streaming app and elaborate over one hundred thousand titles available to rent or buy like the hit by graphical musical rocket man ooh oh and over ten thousand you can watch it for free ads for it at demand service enjoy everything from the way to solid two favorite indie films that subscriptions descriptions or contracts <unk> on there this month so fatal attraction a whole bunch others. We like good voodoo. Dot com slash watch was set up start watching today view dot com slash rewatch ables coming up. My mind is ready. My heart's on fire. I'm going to push it over. The wire. Perfect time tied his drum. The final battles already win. Oh oh now i'm taking hold of every moment given strength by the breath of life kumi kumi. Let's say <hes> <music> for centuries the society of the black dragon as sanctioned of ancient right of combat mm-hmm known as the cubie would only to the world warriors. It has never been what i owe westerner you argonne japanese. I can do it now. For the first time the true story of us can be revealed or support sensation on station with john clot blood sports story of the ultimate champion the jason it gets around us here i would say this is one of five favorite movies ever. Absolutely you have a poster enough. I have a i have a framed photo. Listen i bought a poster off off of amazon was fifteen dollars that ceiling and then i got it framed four hundred dollars and i absolutely it was like you got a professional sure i will pay four hundred dollars to frame and matt this poster. I also have an autographed picture. Fra strongly support and a framed picture of john claude van damme from it was the oddity autograph as chung leers as balloon. I scribbled on their somebody mailed to my office and i fell in love with it. Wow that's something the jason. How many times since nineteen eighty eight have you been flicking channels and stumbled over at least thirty minutes cinemax classic. Yes cinemax max action classic. I feel like as a person who would stay up late at night. I feel like you'd see this two to three times a month between the hours of eleven and two to a._m. On cinemax on a random friday night i wrote in two thousand fourteen. What's the record for most times watching blood sport even though it's not even showing a movie network worked but a local network where they keep interrupting with bad commercials that's really became its legacy about ten years ago and they would just pop on spike good channel no feeling ashes yet they. There's going to be commercials soon. I already own this on d._v._d. Or blu ray avenue watching and you're sitting through the spike commercials for movie you have on d._v._d. Sometimes the commercials make it better and i don't know how that works sometimes they do. Do you just like you get to be excited about a thing and i don't know why works that way is i. If you get a junior bacon cheeseburger from wendy's it comes with tomato on it already. I hate tomatoes yeah but i order with tomatoes. I don't know why it's better it makes you appreciate the part of the burger. You actually like i think that's what it is. Do they make movies like this anymore. More jason this specific type of movie no they don't make a martial arts action movies starring <hes> we uh-huh belgians anymore <hes> they don't. They don't really make this kind of movie anymore. Certainly not not for feels like not. I like an american market well the thing that strikes me as i watched it for the one hundred thirty seven time two nights ago they feel like they're actually fighting in every scene and i just come up from seeing hobson shah <hes> which hobson shaw's the classic it carefully wires punch punch turned punch punch. Everything's like this and buds part on like. Did that guy actually die. When chung lung cheung is he really dead is there. Did anybody write about him like i have no idea what happened. Those guys did the one guy break his leg. How much of it was israel. Israel the broken leg. You sign up for it. They said we have you got to let bowl okay on your now. They didn't have stuntman for the movie. No that was like not thing and i know the one guy really really wait. Are you mess with me now. 'cause i gotta. I gotta talk about one scene where i think there's a stuntman but i'll let you continue. They're the one part in the movie win. John damn elbows the guy in the mouth and knox's tooth out like that really happened yeah and he really got hurt. Yes situation but yeah. There were no no no stumped. They were just going for it so when when frank is running from <hes> rawlins and helmer writer and they fall into the disgusting sting waters like around hong kong i will swear to you that is not from behind. That's not force worker it can't it's i feel like i don't care who you get to do this but i'm not getting in the toxic water. That's why i ended up winning an oscar. I studied that he got his water and that's why he got an oscar. Skirt would've been nominated for this movie. Yeah those worse than leo sleeping inside the bear in the revenue like revenue. I i don't understand why they don't do this anymore. And maybe it's just the degree of difficulty is too high. Maybe you do we're going to get into it but they're like some of the greatest fighters of this era because you had in victory. The soccer movie sliced alone. They ended up using some of the greatest soccer players from the early eighties in that movie and sly stallone of michael caine which is one of the funny things about added in this movie. They're really getting some of the best guys and then <hes> the guy plays chung lease the enter. The dragon guy and there's just a level of this is not like hey the rock. We're gonna teach you some moves. Lizard dudes have been fighting since they were like nine. I can't speak for vandam. I don't know he started. I know we started. This splits probably early early when he was born. They just sat him down in the splits automatically. There's so much eleven this movie and we're going to get through all of it and i just want to get to the categories but it's a montage movie ultimately and i feel like that's what we're missing now as we head toward the end of this decade is the art of the montages just out again. Hobson shah have a montage in it. They do have a montage and it's fun and it's like guess what i'm always gonna and enjoy a montage like karate kid point when he knocks out that first kid winston art c._n._n. And there's you're the best daniel and then sunday forever. I would watch a whole movie. That was just a montage right right. You know what else is great about that that kind of style structure. This movie's a brisk minute minute hour thirty two minutes. It's it's brisk. It's brisk it just flies by and hobson shaw's like how long has moved two three and a half hour. No come on now but it's like it's a long it's too long yeah. They needed forty minutes to set up the fact that these guys weren't going to get along but they had bloodsport. It's like there's a tournament people die. Let's go here we go. They're cleaning the stadium. They're wiping the blood off making them matt nice and clean all right. Let's talk about von dame because when i did my action here championship belt. I don't think i ever gave him. The belt occupies is how you pronounce the two don van dam dam dam dam me too but that's just outvoted two to one so i think he says dom that's okay he. He also says weird shit so so his i._m._d._b. He goes here blood sport black eagle and cyborg and your thoughts on those in nineteen eighty nine thumbs up black eagle was he was buried kickboxer. Love kickboxer really good super hardcore though lionheart death warrant double impact at some point it just became a joke what the even the titles of the van dyke movie van damme van damme universal soldiers nowhere to run universal soldiers the best split you think so which one is which one do you like. I like it. I actually category should we hold giambi the whole let's hope but then around like ninety three range he kind of went up a level and i thought has acting actually got better too but he has gotten better every year hard tat hard target time cop street fighter and then my favorite one other and this one sudden death <hes>. I've really liked sudden-death. It's i argued the hockey movie. There's long hockey scenes but he ends up playing goalie. <hes> which is in just the incredible leap of faith of any nineties action movie. Maybe he puts on the equipment and plays goal goes for it in a stanley cup came for the penguins huge. It's being televised they. They don't care but <hes> but yeah at some point. He just kind of became poor. Man's schwarzenegger at is that fair. I have ranked in the pantheon well. I think if we're just doing a personal preference number one for me. He's he's an arnold over arnold definitely really really. I'm shocked the better movies lino predator <hes> like in running man. He's his. You can't argue his i._m._d._b. Page he's. He's got the the better movies but we're talking about. We're gonna make a move some guys in it. Who do you wanna see. I always want van damme over over everybody or vonda and <hes> or avendano wendy and one of them either one of them. Give me either one but i think he's just a little bit cooler. I think he's he's definitely more handsome which is like. I like that part. <hes> i just feel more drawn to him. He occupies the same plays in the late eighties early nineties that chuck norris had before him where it's like all right we have enough money for one actor when star and the rest of the movie really doesn't matter and you kinda know the beats of time and you you can put him on a poster and people will come and that was the case whether it was people going to theater renting the movie for eight years yeah so the dennis rodman movie kinda started the flip. That was probably a mistake. I and i really like about him that he's a fighter schwarzenegger's. Not a fighter schwarzenegger's. Just gonna fucking big. That's what i was trying to think what made me we love vindamme. It's there was kind of a wow factor with some of his stuff where yes stallone schwartzenegger stolen iraqi for gas s. when he's doing some of the training staff for jesus. Stallone is above schwarzenegger to for yeah but van dam like that scene when he's in the rope doing the split his mentors like when he's when he's between the chairs. You're just like what the hell hell yeah. You've never seen some of this stuff. It's really incredible and he really came along at a time to when it was like that kind of really incredibly credibly a muscular super physique kind of action star was kind of getting pushed aside because of the die hard movement you know the normal more guy kind of action star like christian slater and broken arrow show. That's a good call. There's like if you're not ready for like bruce willis to be your action hero yeah try disc smaller stallone right and he really he he thrived in that era <hes> like he really came up as at the same time as like seagal who seagal is just so ground bound and like stationary legend. He's his moves are all like a guy comes at him and he spins him around but he never moves his legs. Never removed van damme's flying all over the place doing splits. He's rolling. He's jumping up in the area jumping over the wrath. Very there's a lot to watch. I always felt like seagal dwight howard of action. Here's can you explain this week kind of stiff. He was going to get the twenty and fifty yeah. I don't know if you could win the title with them but i could definitely make the finals with them but at least fight van damme. I just feel like van damme's killing him yeah. The smart thing that he did was he was like oh you know what i should do. I'm going to be the guy who breaks your arm. I'm gonna break your arm. That's that'll be me and that's all he did for right whole career. I'm gonna break your arm or i'm gonna flip you into like a soda machine yeah he. He was just moving his hands a bunch and you thought he was doing some shit rashes doing this while you're standing in front of like he's about to siphon and then grampian abune snap your arm i think from an unintentional comedy standpoint you could make real strong cases for either kind of the bird magic of unintentional communist and ladies early nineties seagal had the fucking ridiculous ponytail out anthony tell us dressing in the karate robes and just really china china in this league load thing and poor van damme just could enact it got better as it went along but in blood sport. You're watching a. going. Do one more take director's. Cut you gotta gotta. You know that it's an issue when donald gabe is won't read ogre rowley upset and they're going to get more run. He's a movie read the movie if we to tie this back to swagger i felt the same way when you watch <hes> escape plan and it's worse than ignorance alone. Finally yes stallone is like actually acting in schwarzenegger's. There's just a fucking cardboard cutout in his mouth is moving ray same thing here but yeah give give is gated during a video game. Wait a minute hold on is he. Is he doing this. Let's into the categories because we have too much to discuss. <hes> budget of around two million made sixty five somehow dan sixty five billion dollars yeah solid. I feel like that two million is like inflated like a lot of that went into like shady pockets. I feel like when they filmed that in. I five million two million three million under the table. It made sixty five million. It's i can't imagine how much it's made in cable residuals and stuff the fight that this is a movie one hundred million dollar movie. This in roadhouse have been on for thirty years. Yes unabated roadhouse design right now so i'm like cinemax wants wants just will never end when tale these movies from the late eighties they just three decade long runs <hes> all right. We'll take a break. We'll get to the categories. Take a break tugboat luminary. It is a new podcast subscription service with some of the best content around. I'm excited about because it's the only place you can listen to. The newest show on the ringer podcast asks network. It's called break staff. It's the story of woodstock nineteen ninety nine definitely a podcast. You cannot miss this was one of the <hes> iconic disaster festival is really the fire festival of the late nineties but way worse <hes> along with woodstock ninety nine luminary gives you access to a bunch of other original shows from innovative dynamic the creators you can't find anywhere else like hill barrages handsome rambler wisdom from the top with guy rise in the re watchable ninety nine and i think we've done at least ten right how many redone creek nine nine yeah all right well. We have six more coming later. This fall is on hades right now because we want you to listen to break stuff but luminary app free to download listen to thousands of podcasts on there including this one with your tv and film comedy sports whatever else luminary has the red show for you. Check out with sakhnin and so much more get your first two months of access to luminaries premium content for free when you sign up up at luminary dot link slash simmons after that it's only seven ninety nine per month luminary doubt link slash simmons for two months of free access excess luminary data links slash simmons canceling time terms apply all right so watchable scene. I basically just put down the script for the movie okay yeah but <hes> just going order here. The opening credits are really great. Yes because because it's got it's got the the music kind of gets you into it. It sets it up and it has <hes>. I wrote down all these things i liked and bolo young young young young young bolo unions chongli where he gets you know in movie credits for the last guy. It's like a little extra special. They gave him that little shine nine. They show the different guys warming up and chang lease just kicking giant icebox. Yes you're ready yeah. Like how long does it take to get a giant ice block over and hang it like two hours. Seven hours chiles a boom boom boom. That's about the guy i who he jumps on a tree yeah and they cut to him running and then each it's like the worst cut ever and then his on the tree and there's coconuts now. He's chopping. Yeah incredible a monkey guy. There's a guy doing m._m._a. In front of this group of faith seem like island natives. They're holding torches and they're just kind of cheering sheringham on. I don't know what's going on there and then it cuts to ogres ray jackson and he's aired. You can get killed in that. Kuma tae enrage exits go really in so they set him up and then it cuts that how would you describe the giant guy who ends a bear hug killing that one what's what we call him giant giant smiling bear hug guy. That's his name listed on the i am looking at it right now just throwing something heavy that bulls two guys over and they got that in vonda. He's got that incredible move where he just takes guy and breaks his back like his knee nike snapping a twig yeah. Why are you smiling. You're murdering so that that sets the tone. We get to meet everybody <hes>. I don't know why i can't think of much more run from opening credits now. I know we're gonna make a lot of fun of about the movie like it's kind of a bad movie when you're like really watching it be careful but they do some really really smart things when they're making a movie this is i really powerful storytelling just setting you with all the piece of jewelry. I don't know what's going to happen but i know all of these guys. I'm going to see them. We'll be seeing them again. They're going to be substantial characters and my guess is that ice black guy is going to be a factor and the guy who is narrating the fighting arena reading like oh. This is where they're all going. I get it. I understand yeah so the next one i have. I just really like young j._v. d for some reason when he's training with the blindfolds and ways of the rope roman icon. I wrote it down as rope. Jesus cross is that. I don't know what else we would call it but and then he's like cost to the mentor going is impressed. Was that what you're supposed to do in that situation. Are you supposed to pull you back. I think he invented that one. I know i i'm not really sure what the end game into that was supposed to be. The real frank deuce said that this this device is a real thing called is called drawn and quartered and like it's the problem he he said that they put him in it for real and like whatever but yeah i would like one of those machines what happens to normal people who are in that machine. You're just every join muscle tears. It is a you split in half. Come off like when you do the chopsticks and you just pull them. Yes that's what happens to your body up to your chin. You just dangling currently it's. It's gotta be like top. Five on the set. People must have been like he'll. Why are we bonus also yeah it also can mean like how do you ensure this listen. You like we're forcing children into splits this. He's and yet but like can we like like is this okay like they're implying that they did which is allow they do. The same thing in <hes> kickboxer except a lamb down is on his back and they're cranking them. Next one is <hes>. Do you like the mentor by the way said the kind of mentor you absolutely yeah. They barred him from seven different movies that we could probably list right now. Including things and enter the dragon use the mentor. <hes> does this small scene but i like j._v. Dis the invitation being honored by breaking the bottom brick and the fact that i think is just a really important scene. I love in the movie in movies when they established like we have to do a thing to show you how cool this guy is and that's what they do with ray jackson reacts like he just like unwrapped the plasma t._v. or some o- impressed as when sean lee. I'm not impressed not at all when you watch it even ow in when i just rewatching before he recorded this and they do that. It's like a cool shot from the bottom up and you see the face at john. Club and amex is is gigantic room in the brick exposing. I think he really did that even now. I feel like he probably. I think he really think i think you do that. You know the thing about the brick so but brick back through that is true. I mean but still i don't wanna fight a brick how it physically. How would that work. How did how did that move work busting those bricks like that. How do you how do you think what you just quickly putting so much pressure at that. Bottom bricks just like some sort of law visit hey. I'm sure there's like the transfer of energy jason jason. How would you compare vonda mm-hmm moore to eleven and seven when when she has to make shit movement well obviously von and much more impressive because that's just that's just the physical power embodied within him that has nothing to do with <hes> you know cutting edge science experiments airmen's or you know enter dementia eleven hasn't p._d. Hope yeah absolutely some help. <hes> some cutting edge help multi-billion dollar a weapons program helped john john calvin damn that's all that's all that's all him and we're blowing right past the fact that he hit the top brick and that one didn't break or the second or served force down. That's really impressed. You watch changes. I do doing similar impression of eleven three. I don't go for it. That's that's all. I got you. I would also if i was smooth. Tele kinetically hold the blood in you think you can only do so much stuff. There's you're going to suit a car into the sky or put a put a piece of toilet paper next reliable seen y'all really taken for granted the fact that she's moving stuff and i know i'm calling this watchable. Most isn't fair to the montage the first round of fights a great <hes> where you really get a feel for oh okay so the people are there. There's the weird council over here. What do we call them. I don't know if they're part of the black. Dragon fighting society -ociety are not are they're. They're they're they're they're as executive council of represented whatever and then the really cool ring that kind of bends down and then everybody's just fighting there for like six minutes and we have ray jackson wins his first one and then taunts john lee get well. Let's say i tactical air. This is some wake up the sleeping disagree pre staging a mountain and the viper from game of thrones. Listen when you when you get that win win. It's incite you gotta finish. What are you doing right but you're doing. This is later. I fight it still. It just bothers me so much finish the job finish the job no i. I like him. Talkin shit immediately you like him. Setting the tone with sean liam strongly did it i when when when frank broke the brick chongli strongly start talking shit ray already knows ray jackson knows like this is part of his game. He's shit talker. Let me see what happens when i go at him and he looked a little little nervous. Are we sure he should have been called jackson. He didn't really feel like a ray jackson to me. What does it look like. I don't know he it seems. Where do you think ray jackson excellent from discussions later we do now. What state was he's definitely from somewhere where there's like a mountain nearby ooh like what if he was named sully eighty sully jackson now. I don't like sound strong enough. Would you go with. I like ray ray jackson ray jackson. What was erases martial art. Well later does not do. He does not do a single emma. Move in the movie. Unfortunately no raise brute strength. Yeah you take them down old school so we have a j._v. next to god and went twelve seconds twelve seconds and leading to ray going first first round broke the fucking world record friend yeah he's getting really loyal and then and then the song fight blood sport fight to survive had that in the back would you put it above her behind you the best by jonas yeah you're right because i don't sleep about it yeah <hes> next one the later round of fights so we're not in the semifinals yet but they have another montage 'cause. They're like you know what you know. People have montages. They know what they know how to make an action movie people some highlights from this one chang-lee just break swan peres swamp parade is just gets crushed an eyelid <hes> they didn't aiba probably isn't doing the skin frank dodd frank dukes ignoring that invite come okay tough tough look for jau. Gomez is the guy who's who's like very slow goes. Oh yea doesn't say anything and then there's the the slow motion throat-slitting in van damme's like all right cool and then beats them in ten seconds. It's five seconds that it takes as soon as kick. Some guy falls down. He kicked him off the map. Yeah should've been a new world record but nobody talks about that world the timekeeping there. I don't see anybody with a stop. Watch like how are we keeping somebody <music> this short. I think that's a world record walk. There's no way to add you. There's no clock. Nothing like not twelve seconds to. I don't know that felt really short guys. How did they get it so fast up on the scoreboard. Were those guys were wearing in the hard way. Park season terrific runs up that fast so the that one has those two and then the battle of smiling fat bear her guy i against crawling around guy who's a complicated character sweeney later. That's a tough one. There's some glimmer hope for the crawling around guy initially and then makes them for steak of the jump. Yeah you don't wanna you don't wanna close fat. Bear hug guy gets them and then that's it and then i'm jay v._d._i. Advantages with in my opinion union the probably the second best fight and this whole movie j._d. Against smiling fat bear hug guy. It's a great one where he does the stomach punch and you think it's over right <unk> scraped slo mo boone does like the shake after like this is why we this is why they did the thing with the brick so you can show us what happened yeah. He just destroyed his his and in writing it went through it went through didn't damage any of the material appear site inside and it looked broke his bottom vertebrates but he league walks backwards and then he's fine. Thanks off nails but there's no way they fate that they didn't see back then no. He hit him so he hit. They were like hey so far. We're junk lots going to <hes>. He's getting really do it here. You cool that good. How many takes you think that was that was one. Thank you think yeah. We didn't get it can we can we do it again. Lighting listen crate his little out of focus when you drop down and came over him. Can we get it again. You okay you need to breathe for a second when your liver is going into your vertebrae. Can you just step back act there. That guy's name has pamala pamala p. u. M. o. l. a. mall of the giant next re watchable seem chung. Li sean levers ray jackson very tough. You know how it's going to end. It's like goose dying and top gun. I know how it's going to play out <hes>. I don't want him to celebrate and also celebrating just a terrible idea like why are you doing that. I landed one good blow against chongli. You're right running back yeah. He's he's got to do is push him off. He was right down the down. Just fucking give him a shop. I like i like that. He's shouts that he's dead. He's dead out. He's not dead. He's just kneeling now a little bit right. I'm just before you even get to the rest of the categories. This is my favorite scene because especially really vandamme acting. That's the oscar that's the oscar. He's being held back. He just we just watched him punch. The fifth breaking second five br break pile now he's being held back by like the five seven hundred ten pound guy somehow can't get out no no no does that think it's tackler and then also it seems like ray jackson is just murdered. Apollo creed style. Yeah is pretty bad. See kind of surprised is he came out of that tough guy. I think that's why they did the thing earlier with the when he has a break when he breaks with his head yeah. I'm like okay. There's some very hard school and then <hes> you get three more lettuce rick foreshadowing the semifinals. What are the gambling lines at this point out of curiosity. Who do you have favorite. You don't know anything when you're just you've been going through this whole time. By the semi finals we have frank ducks first pokka frank dukes first paco and we have chon levers sean lem lee mung yeah and ends up being chongli still kills a guy. That's chung lee mung guy that does both do san chong lear massive massive favorites chong lease like the minus six hundred favorite. He's way up there. Everybody that fights chong is like either dead or in the hospital yeah and both of them have like the top three fastest knockouts in the history of committing powerhouse might be my favorite section actually so frank dukes against pacos just a great fight good bad wonderful. I like paco pablo's. My fucking goes guys my guy 'cause he was. The guy pretended to be my hands up here with my sisters i want to go. It's like a movie tie kind of move yeah yeah but he's also got like this kind of like vince carter like starting revenues leg up and then when he gets when when frank shakes shakes a little bit he just he adds a little bit of a like a like dancing vibe to the shoulders yeah. He's just like a very stylish fighter fun to watch so i'm in group that together with chunky kills a guy because that's not very long <hes> couple things incredible performance by the ref who never has has a word but his disgust and horror is just. Is he out there. There are no rules no none well. I think if you if you quit. I think you need to hear the quitting part. Yeah i think would be the only reason and maybe it seemed like as part of the rules. If you fell off the stage thingy you lost yeah which we never even when he goes blind at the end. We never had to worry about anyone. The stage <hes> the crowd chaining sean lee and then the council turning in the crowd quickly going. Oh this is bad and then everybody just turning their back on chongli basically including vandamme who's learning learning the customs like on the flag and charleena's these bad chunk guys. They don't appreciate your guy here in kumaon anymore. Come on they don't appreciate his like he's a. He's an excellent fighter. He's a wonderful showman he was he was really going forward and what i really like about. Jong lee is my favorite character in the movie is he was ratcheting it up every fight every battle. Every single fight is what i was going to the final target. I'm gonna knock you out. I'm gonna break your leg. I'm gonna kill hillier. Gonna stomp on your head to try to kill you now. I'm going to kill you for like it was getting worse. He's like darth vader figure to like he's. He's on the screen less than you think. Any hardly says anything seven minutes but his his feet. He's like cast this huge shadow over the entire movie. You just feel him coming. I always feel like i i still address because my son the way they use brock listener in the w. W. is how it's like barred from charnley right where he's not in there. That much says did many matches but when he's in there. You're just aware of him. The whole time doesn't say much even like jason said even when he's not there. You've you feel feels presence. You know that that's showdown is coming in. There's nothing and you can do about it <hes> and then that ends with you a next which might have been dubbed unclear if they words words were actually matching his lips at a great question. I think he said it. They might have dubbed every line he added this. It's not a question that franc versus chung lee so many twists and turns what was in the blinding powder this great step on the probably unanswerable questions early what what what was in their acid to salt pill. Why does why did he go completely blind. He didn't when they show from his is is just like blurry sure but then when he has down like he's gotta. He's like moving head around to less than i know but like come come on. He's seems completely blind what he might have been having it up. You think it's so assault i think so i feel like i read that somewhere that it was just assault saw it was some mash riot incredible incredible incredible slow motion freak out. Yes so van damme when you see that part. I feel like that was <hes>. That's the moment when you have to say like why he might be. He might be able to figure this acting thing out because that was like very pure very emotional. He was really hurt. I even now all these years later. Every time i've watched i've seen i i feel bad for him. In that moment he had worked so hard he had trained for so long and he felt like this moment is getting stolen from me because this is like tim duncan is not enough that you're allowed out to kill me if you want to but now you're going to fucking cheat sheet and and he was really hurt and that was a good moment again. Where's the council whereas any kind of officials come on. What are we doing out here. A dozen similar they're allowed rules in the in the kumaon very tough down there really good acting by him and also oh good slow mo during an era where we haven't really figured out you know effectively at all in the most good i was gonna say is that is that their most expensive day the day that they have used this film and the slow mo camera. They've got this one special hong kong camera for one day and a lot of people got paid off. That's how it played out and then incredible comeback. I would say one of the better sports movie comebacks of all time with the chips are down flying back <hes> and then they'll ask gene then damn goes to see ray jackson the hospital who's better. He's got this giant bandage lead on them leading to <hes> it returns as harley davidson bid. Anna ray holds his hand anytime any place anywhere air. You need me. I'm their friend and cuts to the girlfriend. Who's just like you're ready to crocodile friends. A little lady phraya yeah who looks near tears cut into van damme fonda. I'm vandamme fighting tears. They're still holding hands and he goes me too and it's like a moment. This is one the worse active movies probably the eighties and that's like a great seat. I it gets me emotional. That scene is more emotional than anything. Steven seagal ever did he's. He's way above love him. Yeah yeah that's gonna take this quarter. Yeah <hes> i wonder this when i did the action movie thing when they do that scene in all of aside and they turned into the new de niro pacino inexplicably what is what's it like on the set just chills it. Oh my god guys yeah. Wow oh my god. It was great amazing guys. I wonder if so they never show movies like in order yeah. They probably did that scene early on and i wonder if for the rest of the movie everyone was like what the fuck would you did before my van damme. Dad is my favorite scene in the movie but i think the most rewatch abo- is <hes> is is chocolate killing a guy. Where are you going. It's just so horrifying most remarkable. I'm going to go with just just any of the fight montages. I think the final fight is just inclined way tie for yeah. It's they're all great. This movie's really good at knowing what people wanna honesty <hes> and getting you to that point like back story. Let's do it quick and get into the fighting the fighting let's show you all the different styles of these these guys and then how about a little john claude van damme in a speedo you want that to great. We'll give that to you but i think it's for me. It's the final fight it's iconic shea. You know what i'm going different than both i like the introduction it's not even on your list the introduction of strongly for his first fight oh we get the his name comes up on the on the cards. We get that the bad guy noise. You're like oh shit here we go. He gets up out of his seat and then <hes> lynn and victor lynn like leans over and he like they they. They basically download john claude van damme. All of chongli stats is never been defeated. Who's also records include between the fastest. Kill kill guy doing their last date. Took the poor bastard right in the throat. I died right there on the platform jong setting everything perfectly for how terrifying this guy is going to be and they they stick the landing on every single part of that i love. I love a good character introduction more than anything else. In in this kind of it's usually when you got he killed the guy that's really good at that point. Kill the guy i mean yeah disguise a bad ass but but then he had all these world records say he was a really great risk kept going yeah yeah. They left out in the introduction. He's done more steroids than everybody else combined massively what's age the best i we mentioned donald gabe as ogre. This is really a trilogy for him. He starts out. He's ogre revenge in there. It's never been from that then. He's in. I intend penny h._b._o. Football series that o._j. Simpson was on and then blood sport and then. I have no idea what happened but he has a nice little five year run there. He's really great in this super. You're just like perfect sidekick where you're just like that. Guy's got that guy's got my back to worry about this guy. There's gonna be no turn. He's he's john qods buddy through and through yeah. That's it never have to worry about that with janice kenton the importance of free press like she's this out here. I've heard yeah i've heard about it just whispers on the street here for the atlantic. I'm going out there. I'm going to go undercover. I'm gonna like find out what's going on and it's really good reporter because this has been happening for hundreds of years by this point and it's never been written about and she shows up there in the room and she gets in the room. You talk like five different fighters and they're all you know. She found the guys who got invited to the underground thing. Everyone's willing to talk to her. I i like when she's doesn't take notes sitting front row but pulls at her recorder and just starts going pretty sure everyone's going to a- another more with the best of fight scenes we talked about a couple of sean lee things that i just think of age beautifully and disgustingly the blowing. The book is out of the nose is such agro villain move that he does it. I don't know seven times but i think you should done before this podcast the tone the late eighties steroids body that just nobody has any more because this better. Nobody has like just that chest yeah that whole second love seat yeah shoulder to shoulder unbelievable. It's insane the break my record now i break you like i break your friend classic. That would have been a good senior year but quit for somebody his celebrations very creepy kinda zorkin except i disagree adding that was that was like the scariest thing he could possibly he can't. He can't lift his arms head because he's got so much terrorism so he's just kind of like this jumping jumping up and down. I had a lot of trouble. I'm glad you brought that up because i i'm really thrown by his part of what makes him so sinister is like i can't read his emotions like he's smiling but he also seems like superman s. and then it's like a he's like brutally really savagely strong but also like has this weird dainty nece when he celebrating its. He's just a very strange character and really scary would you would you run into scene where he goes home and he's got a wife and two kids normal guys glasses. I got a little carried away and kill the guy taper to the part where they show him with clothes on in the in the reflection is always weird to me. I only wanna see him your shirt on dates. That is a great villain that you can't imagine having a normal life other than just brutalizing other humidity's great job by them. The peck flexes. We forget to mention unnecessary why commissioner chairman ship again. I guess yeah brought by the way it's another thing broncos or stole from chung chang lehmbruck listener yeah. He's in a tournament where you can kill the other the people you have to do everything you can to psych these guys. I guess yeah he's a world class. Fighters more would stage the best <hes> van. Damme's terrible acting is age. It's the best for me because he's so bad and i don't understand why they need to do more takes of certain scenes why they just director just cared about the fighting stuff and the dialogue was an unnecessary hindrance to what they really wanted. This movie to be was just a collection of montage of fighting. I can't say i disagree. No play the smart. They played it. Aims of vandamme definitely seven years later like pretty decent as an actor who's not decent n._s. Do and talk about the arena is the perfect arena for you. Yes for fight arena. There's it's a sandy floor. That's right. I'll go this way. This is how you know that's perfect. What would you change. You can't change anything now. You honestly wouldn't unless you want to put put alligators around the pit. Where if you fell that's already too far that stupid you wanna fall out and land in the sand and that's a lot of upkeep. Also i mean you've got to feed them and you get a clean clean. The alligator pit all that stuff. What would you change anything jason. It's kind of perfect. I love it. Also i love. I'm a big <hes> the the walled old city in hong kong which they've since knocked down really fascinates me like as as just like a strategy kowloon and to have like this secretive fighting arena like within that is just really cool and it's it's a perfect size. The other the the right number of seats the crowd is close enough that you can felim. What's the capacity there four hundred maybe u._b. Inches thing somebody it's like a middle school gym like smaller than a miracle jim embarrassing of u. of c. or ballot or did a whole pay per view that was just called kuma tei and just had four hundred people there but a lot of cameras ya que were just trying i would i would. I would wood floor or two hundred forty nine dollars. Yeah got the we mentioned. I wanna shout out stand. Bush who wrote wrote bloodsport fight to survive the song stand bush's you joe esposito of the ladies and then <hes> young frank before he it becomes vandamme but the thirteen year old awkward trying to have a bad frenchaccent vandamme. He's wearing like a number fifty five giants jersey. I don't know what's going on there. 'cause you giants hat. San francisco giants hat new york giants jersey. There's this early seventies mid seventies and in he's ruining for two teams in two different cities giants and i got an joy that there's also a kid one of those flashbacks in the bullying flashback who birtles and james t shirt <hes> which did they like do they have bottles and james merge seen in kowloon. I wonder if they knew who they were going in there for the sword or they just saw at once. They got like well. I think they were just going around well. It seems complicated. Yeah okay jason. How would you compare the first underground walk to come to the goodfellas. Scorsese one shot up shot. I think it's a very close one eight one. I'm gonna go with the scorsese edging it out because it is in the camera work. It goes on time continuous but can you deny the kuwaiti vibe bringing you into this world that you would never have access to is really. It's really something else. Cou tay also great name great incredible name coup mutate. It's the best all right. What's age the worst <hes> the acting i we covered that way. Can i add one for what's ages about. Let's do it. I really like the tournament moves structure any movie where there's a tournament and place aman because you don't have to expend a board. Let me see you move. Somebody's name yet further a gotta have that. I really like it any any fighting tournament. Absolutely it just works so we have a ringer m._m._a. Tournament we'll have a blur way we should we should have to death or what who's favorite in that to the to the maiming russillo ringer now bryan curtis bryan bryan curtis shape it the guy who is secretly the struck his hands the next time you see them. It's like football helmets. He's from texas tech edison brawls yeah. He's got the face that lets you know like i'm not gonna take any shit and if you try it. I'm gonna put you in the dirt. This these are some movies that <hes> with tournaments in them blizzard undisputed karate kid yup warrior best of the best for last minute. That's not technically tournament. It's like you know it's a accumulative tournament. <hes> enter the dragon no the classic fucking never back down mortal combat the quest which was basically blood sport to these these are these are all fantastic. There was that stretch late eighties into the early nineties where the video games started in the movies started kind of reflect the video games yeah. Where do you stand on best of the best list of him. That finished in the guy off with ten seconds left when i was little i wanted him to to kill him now. You're a piece of that now. Mike oh that makes sense. I understand now. This is is a bigger deal because he because dan shows up best of the best to when when tom needs backup like to throw that out there what's best for me is strongly. I don't know if you guys disagree and that that's the that's the pig i learned years later. Just still an off sean lien waiver such a wonderful movie character has celebration. They like all of his parts are interesting interesting. That's just so we talked about oh. That's a good one in in <hes> in warrior yeah when tom hardy's character whenever he wins a fight his celebration as he immediately leaves a ring fasten angry. That's those are the three best i think post fight celebrations strongly jumping around with that high pitch like the noise tommy leave immediately and daniel larussa like being confused every time that he doesn't my three favorite stunned like look at too is <hes> support support group of his semi girlfriend yeah. He's just double. Check in all the you'll be. You have no friends what's age. The worst is the acting we mentioned <hes> we gotta talk about the crawling guy the monkey fighter. I my monkey guy at this point. It's not great eight yeah. I gotta say i loved him for years and years before we started to think twice about some of the stuff but the style itself. Can we talk about the style <hes>. Is that really going to work as long term. I don't just around the ground to the semis. It did get him to the san. We never really saw a lot of footage of him a leading up to that. I mean we saw enough. Issam cracked that one guy's head open seemed like he he was down low. He would try to trip. The person then you jump on them was his move but it seemed like the better move would be to just stay away. I'll say the thing about his style and listen. He got the invite to the committee so you got to give him his respect that is you know it's like small ball. When it first came in. It's it's a change of pace in your surprised by it but as soon as he starts getting to the later rounds people start scouting him. You know what you know what you're going to. He's like my dad. You understand what what is happening at that. Point people have scattered them. They've been game series of. We've got about mentioned earlier about the in the beginning of the movie when they're standing around. They look like islanders. Yeah you can tell watching this move today like this was written by the white guy or a couple of white guys and they're like what do do you know anything about this. I don't know make a monkey like no. That doesn't work. Just nassiri australia's really bad guys. How do you feel about the plot with a reporter in general because i have it in what stage the worst i think there are certain aspects of it that have aged the worst like like her going undercover like basically as a call girl. Yes the get into the success of as a weapon very very that is tough asleep in with the subject of of a bad very very bad other than that that you know. It's just very interesting that trope of like how do we get the female reporter really was a trope of the seventies and eighties like had a team for instance in the making of this movie or i read about the making of a and they really wanted this to be did to action movie that everybody late in the eighty s but with a little kind of romance thrown in there trying to crack that code so at some point the two guys the aforementioned after they saw monkey guy yes they were like hey what if it's a female reporter undercover recover but she has a little thing for jean claude kneeling good good idea <hes> there's a really tough tough two minutes here post ray jackson injury with jean claude moping around yongkang. He'd just say stuff to assign. That goes goes on my own. I can be strong and it's like classic bad like worse than frank. Stallone <hes> frank stallone like wounded done this but it does lead to him on the on the the freaking whatever that is it's worth doing the split on the fifteenth floor of some balcony reconnecting to like the the thing that got him here and there's no way that there's there's no ropes. There's no safety harness up there. He's like i will get on the on the thing and i will do it i would. There's a reason you fill in this movie the way you do in hong kong because it's just like hey do we just get up there and do the split and if you fall please don't because then with the double checked his insurance i it is funny. Though for such like terribly acted probably directed movie. There are ursula really good seeds. We had a lot of that ending seen of him on that. Thing is pretty great like scorsese would have been like that's pretty good shot at us. Hong kong in the back and the next scene is just the reporter running around the <hes>. There's that lame chasing. We mentioned earlier such a fall from grace athletically politically for forest whitaker who was the star linebacker and fast times ridgemont high and was headed to the n._f._l. As the middle linebacker who could be offenses by himself and now can't run through hong kong. I just wanna read this. I just wanna read the i._m._d._b. Of forest whittaker foe to let's say you're eight only about vision okay. I won't do it vision quest eighty five then he does a bunch of t._v. Fall guy eighty five different strokes north and safran strokes series. Yes amazing stories his hero eighty six color of money scorsese. He's good in that platoon. Big herald nother great another great character. It goes back to the t._v. Hands of stranger and back to movies stakeout yeah <hes> very good morning vietnam <hes> his blood blood sport bird which i believe is nominated for bird was when it's like wow that the guy from fast is a real actor just like an incredible run to throw throw blood sport in their wild. This is like several oscar-nominated movies in this run and then blood sport. I love him in color. I like when he asked if if he's also then he had a good career but then he would just pop up in species for no reason <hes> wow why are you in. He seems like a fun guy. A forest whittaker the thing. I respect about him in addition to the fact that he's obviously like a great actor a really good actor. My man says about securing that bag species shirt what what's that sex alien. Yeah give it to me. I was just i was just in a hard hitting vietnam movie movie that was nominated for multiple oscars. Let's do the sex alien also see when i watch him move feel less like it's about him just trying to get some money and more like it's about about him just wanting to do a thing. That sounds cool <hes>. I think it's men i why can't be both. Let's mary the things together we eventually he. Eventually he won an oscar way bedia means. He's a brilliant actor eleven phone booths with with colin. I think it's basically just him and colin farrell that whole movie. I just carry it so first this time you saw this if you if somebody told you there's an oscar winner in this movie you wouldn't have picked john claude. He was out. I might not be out. I might not have picked for his whitaker either. He is sick. I would have picked the actress you put two stamps on it but he's definitely mailing it in doc another what's age the worst ray jackson's m._a. Skills considering he doesn't do the movie. I i don't really know what his style and i think he's gonna make fighter. He's just he's like. He's like a chocolate del. When chuck ladele showed up in the end gonna knock you out or you're gonna knock me out. Pick one and then young frank the accent the acting it's just it's like they just looked at some headshots and they said <hes> he kind of looks like jon because let's do this. One hundred dollars left who again this guy is a i know it's like can you try a frenchaccent or belgian accent or just anything that sounds foreign his dad when they meet up with his parents with frenchman had totally different accent yeah not an close yeah it's rough. What's the worst monkey that's gotta be. Ah yeah. It's gotta be the monkey guy reporter and the reporter and then we didn't even mention ray jackson like sexually harassing the on the train as far as very good with gigantic ray jackson leg and clouds leg hook this guy this character casting what if i i don't have any like a ton of information events of what if say honestly forest whittaker feels like a casting the fact that he's he's in it who else was up for this. Who gave him the script and he finds his podcast. That will definitely be my first question all right so blood sport what happened it feels like something like his sister's like a fiancee or something was like a we do like i have. My friend has movies doing it in hong like can you help us help this out off the best that guy ak the joey pants award given this to norman burton who he is helmer. He was yeah force workers partner. He's one of those guys. I didn't had no idea what his name was until a google that i just wanted to point out a little stretchy had he was on a lot of t._v. Shows kojak baretta harry. Oh rockford files one woman quincy chips simon and simon and knight rider just in like an eight year run like there is a certain actor that just popped up on all those shows all those procedural show so he made that i just say one thing about helmer and rollins so you're here to <hes> <hes> apprehend frank dukes this expert fighter green beret who's gone on the run to fight to the death <hes> martial arts tournament mm-hmm and you send like two dudes with stun-guns and no one else rate and you're likely at let's take would just going to cattle prod him and then i guess dragon of the plane lean like send more people like why are you doing it this way. How many people do they have to send shay like the to capture capture capture him. I minimum eight you need you need ten or twelve. I think <unk> maybe maybe the plane of people you need. Try the hotel lobby three per limb. The lavi just the two of them yeah and then raid like knocks him out at chasing susan eric all right now. I guess we got a call in the hong kong police but you gotta start there <hes> start with like fifteen people and then after repeated the ad this later for nitpicks after after repeatedly failing at their one job the whole time they're like hey. You're going to talk to the fight right because we can't get this guy. The sal rubenesque they knew a word for most egregious overacting. I i would actually say there's more underactive the overacting but i do think though no no is that has to be the choice who wins the dan waiters word biggest check vic lynn you you think so yeah yeah for sure you blowing it. Frank forget about you getting a totally for ray. You have a chance to ticket automo- joe understand. You can be the first westerner to win this thing. It's gotta be held. He's the only other guy remember from the movie. That's it sean elise. That eligible doesn't do much. The only other one i was thinking was pointing point at you pointed me guy yeah because he's in there for a minute but it's a memorable minute. He looks tough zanu muscles. These are shiny and shit. Is it possible the reporter is the dan waiters award winner no too much now. It's not as much as she's too good of an actress yes. She's too good. You need to not be that good of an actor or actress to like. Do the only really in this for seven minutes. Maybe we could shoehorn them in. Do you think it's van damme speedo in the post. Coitus does a call on over his giant but cheeks his is very around. Have you ever looked at your own but in the mirror you're not that day. No you call buddy. I want everybody there. I have no idea who wants to dan. Waiters word a half ass internet research so frank dukes his resume allegedly was three hundred and twenty nine kumaon matches seventy five to eighty undefeated and there is most consecutive cao's thirty six. This is at the end of the movie and there's just a million things on the internet about this. He might have made up everything half of it some of of it we don't we'll never know there's like a whole thing in the los angeles times. It was a big story on it. A few months after the movie came out and they just disproved everything even this they like he had a trophy that he said they gave gave to him and it turned out that he had it made like down the block from his house. He said he was in the c._i._a. And his dad was like in the massad. There's a lot of frank dukes been spending spending some tall tales. Yeah the co redder showed in lech who i think was one of the two aforementioned wet guys that she mentioned he said i had known frank dukes for a number of months for came came up with the idea of bloodsport frank told me loud tall tales much of which turned out to be bullshit stories about participating this so-called kuei events sounded like a great idea for a movie <hes> so he definitely inspired fired with stories true fall semi false whatever inspired see that was the real frank news mistake he should not. He should have not been like this happened to me. He should that have been like. I have an idea for a movie right and then just he could made twenty five march large movie. 'cause the stuff is making up was incredible. I read one story where he was talking about it and and he said that you know they owned it down for the for the movie version in the real live version. We didn't fight on his platform. We in different locations. There was one time where we fought on the temple. Simple of a building in the tiles are cracking under like the logistics of that. Is this unbeliev yeah. He's like really good at making shit up. He should have gone that way instead. He's there's this one one time. I punched these. Five bricks in the bottom line broke yeah. That's that's like a crazy thing go. You could really do that pre internet. Just be out there saying yeah. I'll stop here. What's the best for frank dukes but what's age. The worst of the movie is you can't make up shit like that running for president so yeah the <hes> he also said sheldon led edge. There was one guy who introduced me to name richard bender who claimed to a vaccine at the venue and swear everything frank told me was true a few years later a falling out with franken confessed to me that everything was ally franken coached him and what to say. I gotta say dukes yeah. I gotta say just if you can google frank dukes and look at him and obviously you know you can't judge a book by its cover doesn't look like a ninja no but it doesn't look like a fifteenth degreed green jitsu expert who like killed people for the c._i._a. Chung li down. What's what's crazy to me is when you read about him when you see him his. He's so very clearly. What steven seagal ended up coming out that i get it now. I felt he read that story seagal. I'll just do that scholars. Forget about make-up some shit. He ended up being the fighting coordinator for the foam input jean-claude three training program <hes> so this was filmed inside kowloon walled city which then got destroyed which i don't know anything about but i guess they just knocked down the whole city. I don't really understand it. <hes> i think they'd knocked it down to build an airport. Also it was like now. I'm just speaking from my cursory research over the years about this subject but it was like <hes> was a constant fire hazard and i guess like associated with crime and stuff <hes> because people would just like flea in there and no one could find and couldn't find somebody saw blake bortles we yeah we need to shut this down. I just read genesis story in the atlantic about going on for centuries reason. They're there for pulitzer. How many splits did <hes> jean claude. During this movie he does <hes> drawn and quartered when he does on the top of the temple he does on the chairs. He does when he when he fights pamala he does about four. You've used at five five five five jason. Oh wait wait and then when drags him six. Oh wow that was yeah that does count. I guess tell you was hurt for real on that. One i ask this is this. This is the split expert who laser seven. Oh then i miss thank you might have missed the one when he jumps under a smiling bear hug guy and then punches him. No i got i know it is and this one shouldn't count but but it's when he jumps up over chongli and he doesn't in the air. That's what it is. That doesn't count you did six. I found this on the internet so it's gotta be true. The fighter we mentioned was actually knocked unconscious by jean claude. Who in the teeth came out that was that was cool. They kept it in the movie. Yeah just great <hes> there's three fighters in this movie i wanted to mention go for so bolo was in enter the dragon i i don't know what his background is but he had some stuff. You're dude pock. Oh <hes> was palo toca toca toca. He was a <hes> champion yup and then michael kissy who played swan parade is who got annihilated by john lee he went on a plate tong po the main villain and kickboxer boxer. That's broken leg. That's always my favorite bit of trivia is that they went to thailand to film this movie and they couldn't find someone from thailand and to play tong po. Yes it's like fucking for the makeup on on our guy michael diarkes game that they played you know karate master or karate karate karate karate champ now's nineteen eighty-four. I love the idea that <hes> being good at karate. Champ like your actual martial arts meals on they translate translates slates to that mortal kombat apparently took huge inspiration from this film. I'm sure yeah which makes sense just never related the uh-huh johnny cage character yeah the game creator. John tobias said they wanted to make a gritty game based on the phone all right <hes> apex mountain. I'm going to say yes for donald gabe. I don't think i got this is coming off for vengeance nerds and i tan and then to be a nasa makes sixty five million is bigger than revenge of the nerds now but he's like the tenth most important person in ruben engine there this one he's like focal. I don't know it's it's in play. I think as revenge this is definitely the first time this conversation percents. Oh what donna gibbs apex was yeah. I think that'd be even donor the actress leah airs. I'm going to say yes <hes> because she was is just i looked at her and debate and it's like a hundred t._v. Shows that she was never on full-time. She had a great run with walker texas ranger apparently <hes> apparently i'm just saying. Would you go chongli aka bolo go this enter the dragon i go this. I got this because bruce lee in dragon. Yeah i think that disqualifies and all this is just like icon iq. I mean how many memes have been created because of this character about kowloon gets knocked down after is this the apex of kowloon walled city. Ooh i think that what other movies have been set in this place kind of how it lives on. Though i don't know enough about it i think i think actually the <hes> call of duty black ops to be a mountain for kowloon walled city. That's all i got for a frank. Frank dukes probably his apex about before for the internet. This is in force whitaker's apex mountain. This is this is jean. Claude van damme splits apex mountain picking nits. We mentioned everything. I just had <hes>. I just felt like everybody was too accommodating for john. Lees finishing move move it. Just let them do it. We're just like he's holding people and he's doing the he's getting the crowd up inside the guys are unconscious or somebody should have pulled them aside. I mean he got it. Stop killing people showing up john once again this was in his gimmick and then some questions about how gambling worked the kuwaiti just seems like a lot of money and people shouting and throwing them. I i didn't really do they keep track. I feel the same then we went like old wall street movies right and they're in the pit of trading places so ending papers. Yeah yeah doesn't seem official. I like when the one guy gets knocked out on the and they all throw their fucking bedding tickets on top of him. When he's laying on the ground i will say i've been to a real cockfight fight in a cockfighting arena <hes> in the philippines yeah and the way they do it. There is there's like a person who look who covers one side of the arena called the christo like christ because they hold their arms like this calling the bets and you'll just be like you'll like do some kind of hand signal and they they just literally remember what you bet and then at the end of it wildly inefficient. I'm just saying they'd somehow they remember and then if if you lose you you ball up your money into a little ball and just throw it into the ring in those and they put it in a basket and take it away and if you don't pay yeah. I guess you don't do that because then you don't leave the ernie but that's how they that's how they do it and then if you win they like ball up they take the money and they they make a little triangle football out of it and throw it up to you that sounds all skies have incredible memories. That's all i know any of the pickets yes yes. I have one why did sean claude. Van damme have to prove himself after he already had the invitation and understand why he had to break the break. You got the invitation. You're good go to factor two factor authentication. Click the. I'm not a robot and also because you don't option asia right. You don't know if that's the real guy. Just make sure it's just make sure it's i like to receive that. He was really just wanted the brick thing and they just kind of shoe her ended in ask. Your invitation is invalid. Another one then chongli who we know is the reigning champ. He has nine fights in the tournament. So this is a single elimination. The nation tournament there have to be five hundred twelve people for him to have nine fights to get to the championship that true yes. I did the math damn well. They do in beginning they cut to. There's just a ton of fighters. In hundred five hundred pile of bodies outside kowloon world's the best quote. I enjoyed. Why don't you quit round. I as a way of heckling young young frank. You didn't have to take it there. Yes brick doc that hit back became one of the iconic once a great hat tip to briefly you jackson. You look like a jackson the hills mr lynn and i'm lynn jackson okay even even victory lineker best quotes. There's a lot of quotes in this movie. The no the bolo i break you break your friend. Those are really best was could this be remade as attempt so netflix show my my instinct extinct was god no and then i started thinking about it and if they just had a show called kuma of chartered a veteran your reaction to it. I think he would have to be like hosed off. Yeah i would yeah you wouldn't hear from me for however. Many episodes were eight hundred twenty two minutes like fleabag just really short and to the point if they did they did cobra sky and it was a great gimme gimme to say yeah get on it now back to the to the thing bitter three lines that gets said to new chongli they are. What are they three lines. This is another great character building thing tomorrow. We leave for the day. That's what his trainer chosen as the first thing anybody. He says the next thing anything anybody says to him. <hes> is ray jackson. I'm gonna kill you man yeah and then the last one is van damme yellen sat. That's the only time anybody talk also like fight related stuff and i love that there's a deleted scene where he goes to visit the guy that broken leg is like simon care to tail probably an extra questions what happened to the mentor son initially the mentor goes hey man this is all about without getting my son into the cool tatum day and then but then he gets his ass kicked out of school and he's never seen again so what happened now he dies. That's why i frank comes in. That's that should be my answer for the day. Never show the death now. They show them mourning the death. If they've got a picture of what happened yeah you'd probably use in the military or something who knows no back story at all. We have three minutes of him walking sadly around kowloon to that sappy samba. We can't find out what happened to the mentor son now. Let let me also say like why is the mentors like why is the mentor son so bad at fighting. You've got like ask so bad why you've got access to this incredible resource your father who's like whoa whoa whoa. How do we know that he is bad because he got beat up by three older kids. Even that fighting the that should have been a bad as we should have been like wow that kids like the ca like when we watched the lebron james junior high last. He's got to be frank on his an on his knees he did do that. In and frank was holding a sword. He's still ran up vitamin fucking kick them but again that should be my pick for the dion waiters when the dad gives speech about how his dad his son is dead and like this tradition that we've been passing passing down from father to son father's chokes up in that moment like why can't we give him dion waiters. That's what i'm saying. That's that's good or the mom who just smiling knowingly at everybody that surfaced online another unanswerable question which already asking you what happens when you mentioned bud sports forest whittaker like you're at a dinner with him you just have if someone came in fucking love blood sports says reaction. I think he's he's thrilled about it. Tells like a kowloon story. He's got out of news stories yeah. He's crazy and they had to shut that place down force which is an all-time cool okay one hundred percent shea out of all the sporting events. You could have gone to the sports movie. How high is john lee frank dukes the finals you could have been ringside with the with the atlantic reporter. I mean the story and the two f._b._i. Storylines right themselves yeah. Is that a top five. I would have wanted to be there for the finals moment. That's got to be a number one. I think if we're just talking about the stakes we're talking about it like a a again. This is a fight to the death. We have the reigning champion who hasn't been defeated in years. We have this the first american person who has a chance to win like that's an incredible but he might die and he's there carrying on the lineage of his mentor whose son undyed that story comes out about right. That's all my god. That's that's a two thousand word feature and this is strongly coming off having just killed his second combatant right in in the tournament i that's that's got to be the soccer game victory. I'm not interested in that. This is what they had to beat the nazis and then everybody escapes and everyone in the crowd breaks through the walls leading to big story of a good story but i gotta say it's not it's not like this one. The hype surrounding would have been huge. The nazis worst the prisoners game. You're like like the nazis yeah. It's it's like it's more about the escape. It's less about like the game. It's excitement. One is dislike hype hype about shoot louden swain. I don't even know what that is vision quest. I know that one's pretty big that was i never saw vision wesson. Oh all right. Can you watch out for me to watch. That's peak. That's matthew modine greatest wrestling talk about time. Oh that one. I is that the one where he climbs up to the okay. I've seen clips of it. I think you're so excited. That's gimme chongli. Versus ranked news number one it me <hes> sidney dean and billy hoyle versus a king duck for number two. Give me you know if you pay for that. One you primarily go to the court and my third pick is gimme. The uh gimme the title game friday night lights how about how about highschool texts how doug and kate for the doubles figure skating gold in cutting edge coming off the drama i t his hockey career in tatters he switches lanes to become a figure skater and they win the goal i would i would go blades of glory slapshot title game where it's just gonna be abroad for three periods would have been fun to go to my honorable mention fourth place. The the bob sled race in cool runnings earnings. I wanna see that down there. Also you know what actually forget it. I think the most hype has to be <hes> like a dozen dead racist baseball players coming back to life to play a game or fill in a cornfield pick. I mean i mean this is like everything you know about. Reality has been overturned. Go i'm gonna i'm gonna wind up it. Give me snake in the basketball pit when he's gotta go court to court art ten seconds to make the shot and he gets it gets harder and harder and it ends with him doing a full court shot yeah and then they still try to kill him. Snake snake plus can baby this one's. It's for shea specifically. Yes best paco movie performance ever bloodsport batboys. Who's the king of the pacos. Oh blood him but i'll paco agla guy oh negro. I forgot about that one. I only in bed. That's so that's the that's the number one number two number martinez pablo from blasberg overpop- go from bad boys. Yeah i think so bad. Wasn't he talking about trump voice. Yes yeah my god sean penn. Ben sean penn bad voice. Us is a dark movie. It's a great movie though he fills the ben and i watched the last one seeing that there's eh showing the pill sheet with the soda cans. That's tough is the the exploding radio at is wild. It blew my mind when i realized that that is a guy who grew up to be the guard shawshank. I was like oh no wonder he's douay and then he ended up in <hes> in billions yeah. He got his life together yeah. He's one of those guys in which real f._m. Guy would be the best bloodsport character conor mcgregor yeah right unique unique conor mcgregor. Look we're going to reboot it in economy gregor in the in the john claude van damme real. That's where my mind was going as well. You need nate d as he conor mcgregor finds out about kuma today he's in and is doing here's. The issue or monsters are making him. Do it can conor mcgregor do like the humility required for the frank dukes now yeah. Yes you think so i think so. Did you watch his documentary is a tender guy when he wants to be he listened he meets arnold schwarzenegger and the documentary and he like freaks out about it. Arnold schwarzenegger says i'll be back line and he like melts. It's great. It's wonderful conor mcgregor. You mean nate diaz and rampage jackson okay. Was this the biggest choke job sports movie history. He's he blinds. Jean claude van damme van vandamme <hes> he blinds him the guy's blind in a very small space. He's already killed. Somebody broke. Somebody's leg and put somebody in a coma and he can't finish them off. I don't think this is not a church. You're not play around. I mean this was part of his training. I am the next day that's just incredible you have him. That's incredibly bad. Luck that you blind at the guy and it turns out train. Train fight wars yeah five blinds. I think it's jackson's is more. That's legitimate choke because he had it he had he had he had sean on the ropes oops and then he's like. That's a we were talking about reggie. That's reggie doing the barrett yeah and then the guy and then tony was toni kukoc. She has a shot afterward yeah yeah you have three kids like you could do this. One of one of the twins okay you just do the blindfold training thing that they did with with with van damme in this movie and having like walk around the table with the blindfold serve like see how much you could actually and then compare him to the other kid and see if this actually work okay could summer project for you. We're gonna try that. Put you gotta serve everyone dinner. This platform just don't feel like it would be like in two days. John clods like yeah. I'm getting them and it's like. I don't even need is. I don't think it was two days. I think it was a it was a long time. The montage stretches years times times bestselling authors chase around accused of child abuse children who is has been in karate jujitsu or anything like that. He just wants to fight people for real. That's great. We put the twins in his karate. He's like i want to actually do stuff we with the twins in karate when they were like six or seven and they loved it and it was like because you show up in the first year just doing flips yeah yeah twists in your like punching this like plastic paper or whatever and they kept going and kept going and then eventually he got like the sparring session and the hated it. They didn't want any part of it. One of the boys braxton was there and he was like he's super shy. He does not like touching other kids. You don't want any part of that and he <hes> they call them up there since they did and they're trying to get into a fight and he wouldn't he wouldn't do it. He just refused to hit them so they gave him these like styrofoam sorts then like okay hit him with the sword it gets a sort and other kid but could just as soon as they said fight he fucking opt braxton in the chest and braxton through a sort on the ground he screamed like john cod vandamme in the movie. Oh <music> and then he charged with the kid grabbed them on the floor and we're just like <hes> he got like three or four solid shots before that since a pull them off and we were lake aac know karate karate for you. That sounds like what would happen by said yeah. I don't know if it's a good idea to ever been and believe what i was watching so so if you're blinded by an illegal substance while salt with salt it's fine your would your strategy have been into sweeping. Roundhouse task kicks as part of the blind. Maybe he's over there just all around the apple around the strategy that you can't see i mean i. I actually think that's pretty good because it's that the fighting platform is not that big. I'd say falls off in real life because there's a couple points where he he's trained for just the ref f- trained for activating all of his senses yeah right any other questions melham anything else. Did we answer every question yet. I have a thousand of them but i think i would like to keep them to myself. This is gonna be <hes> i can. We'd see how this plays out who won the movie. No ma'am chongli yongli psychotic okay. I thought it was strongly to know because this movie it gets quads career going and he has like a ten year run and it's a john clyde movie but i just feel like charlie wins the movie yeah. He's one of this is one of the best sports movie villains ever if not number one and i can't think of this movie nothing yeah he's up there for me. Yeah incredible efficiency if they remade this movie would be good or bad for you is is bolo young wrongly again. He's probably sixty. East five doesn't have a liver guessing now. This is this is good. If you remake you get echo from the raid. Oh in this movie and you like let let him do the fighting stuff. I'm in the whole concept of this things happening. In some weird place it might be real might not but i'm gonna go see what it is and then it turns out to be real underground whatever i i think that should work every ten. It's it's a classic. It's a classics arguably could have been like a fast and furious setup for a movie where it's one of the guys and the gang has now fallen into this world. It's a classic setup along with the most dangerous game like we're gonna hunt human beings in this like on this island. There's a new movie. That's coming out. You'll be just that you just can keep recycling that. Every five to six years is give me a new hunting. Humans and a new martial arts tournament somewhere where in the world shea surrounding jason pleasure thanks to voodoo a leading streaming app elaborate over one hundred fifty thousand titles available to rent or buy like the hit biographical music musical rocket man over ten thousand dollars you can watch it's for free in their ads board on demand service enjoy everything from the way to sell her blockbusters to your favorite indie films without subscriptions or contracts credit card. We talked about it. Just now fatal fatal attraction whole bunch of great ones had to do dot com slash watchable san of star watching today the dow dot com slash re watchable watch this feed because we're on a little bit of <unk> watchable is run right now man. I have a couple more coming later <hes> then.

ray jackson van damme van damme frank john claude van damme cinemax hong kong john john calvin frank stallone schwarzenegger oscar Steven seagal hobson shaw jason sean lee reporter daniel larussa karate john lee scorsese donald gabe
Brain chip | Sandwich | Vulva

The Gargle

35:51 min | Last month

Brain chip | Sandwich | Vulva

"This is a podcast from the bugle. with the forging of the great rings. Three will give the elves immortal. Wisest and fairest will beings seven to the dual flawed great and craftsmen of the mountain holes and nine nine rings will get into the race of man who above all else desire power within these rings was bound to the strength and the wheel to govern each race but they will all of them deceived for another thing was made deep in the land of mortar in the fires of mount doom. This is the goggle the glossy magazine to the bugles on your newspaper for visual world to spin off. Nobody asked for all the news. None of the politics. Welcome to the show your guest this week of regular contributors favorites of the show tiff stevenson. Welcome hilario or george junior. You initially i. You've scotland far richly with scholarship onto mixes of like identity ethnicity. Make me feel like we live in the future. Oh my god you're gonna love made i love. Welcome to the show charlie george. Hello i'm staring in or at the juice i've got on my side. I'm very excited about being energized and pet for the goggle today on the front page of this week's edition of the goggle is boroughs. Johnson's marriage to carey simmons all the behind the scenes news of the wedding from flower crown to pella clown and why she's decided to change her name to carry johnson which just sounds like a euphemism for a sex. It's like a like a penis in a sedan chair. I like that's how you would. Carrie johnson and the satirical cartoon this week is a picture of naomi. Osaka not doing any press which is to say. It's just a picture of a lonely tennis racket. Being insulted by middle aged bloggers who couldn't hit a ball if it insulted their wife in a fancy restaurant also inside this week's magazine. The catholic church is just criminalize the sexual abuse of adults and the other things that are more than a thousand years overdue as well as nasa to launch baby squid to international space station. What did the squid do we speculate fabrics us to section one of the magazine. Our science section and this is our story which is elon. Musk has announced that he's neuralink. Brain chip will end language in five to ten years which is just such great news because then and five to ten years. We won't have to hear elon. Musk saying things like this. Must spin on the rafer again because it did he say this on on joe rogan. I think that mentioned that in the article right. And i just find it so weird like the certainty that these men have of their hypothesis of the future. Like you know. I used to make up a language me and my sister bible study to covertly communicate rebellious desires. And like just. Because i don't have the money to throw behind that know. I'll never know if it has any legs behind swindon kingdom who just has to stop there but he gets to try all this stuff out. Did you have a secret language as a kid. You know where you would hide the words. Yeah back slang but it was just like a verger so like a guy of a gum. Spaghetti kevin gang of attacks gang and it was great. Because if you didn't tell anyone how it worked she just split the words and stick it in the middle. And i think is pretty easy to walk out but look we needed a way to communicate with each other is either that or handwritten notes of who we fancied so. Yeah i appreciate any made up language. The great thing about elon. Musk is that he will consistently say these kind of things and then continued to say them despite the fact that he said things like this before that haven't come true like he promised that at this point we would be going around and driverless cars for example or that we would be on mars or that a again. I really wanted to get inside the head of the dude bro. Phenomenon where you're like. Imagine feeling that the answers to life being funneled to you directly because you're a wealthy entrepreneur. You do martial arts like it's just like maybe like just like yes everything that's coming and also it's like do we need this like we don't want to speak anymore using traditional languages. I love dish languages. I enjoy shouting at your lingo or like pacing up and down outside a cafe in paris like panicking about how to say which i still don't think i can say you know like i enjoy that. It wasn't like a single language saying it will end language in five to ten years. Just try living with someone for ten years. Language will buy a series of drums. That's what happens sometimes in the morning. With me and paula buffs. Have a conversation before we do like. We can the kate and false before we even get to that this. I found interesting. The neuralink chip acts like a fitbit in the skull. So if this happens people are obsessively going to be counting. How many words. They've set in a day like i'll go ten thousand getting into overly verbose arguments to get your word count up like. Oh you're overconfident. vulgar with an irritating voice. That sounds like a cat shitting needles whilst on steroids. I wouldn't touch that. Have a of at bargepole which is a long response to someone telling you to smile but you get my point. I'm gonna be working on making it sound good now. The thing of about elon. Musk and this type of entrepreneurs that they have achieved some incredible things in the world. It's just constantly compelled to big up the stuff that they haven't done. And i feel like that's a that's a very frustrating place to be. I feel like as being incapable of accepting your own actual achievements. Because he constantly reaching for really dumb sci-fi. I never gonna happen. Yeah 'cause like no offense to mr moss. But he's not nine for his brilliant. Communications goes and of course you know. He's trying to track down and actress. Who wants to marry in which i think. He's got a really great success in that. But like i like to stay kind of try this. It was published on youtube channel. Could monkey mind pound. Sounds amazing and i made like if a monkey playing ping pong is the benchmark the success of something which i think it should be. I think like you know maybe we should refer to that when measuring ooh communication. If it goes well like yeah we will let to monkeys playing ping pong slow to a good good back and forth rally. It's yeah like like. Charlie says that's what makes life fun. We get each other all the time from would that be. I like the miscommunication that can happen when you will badly interpreting language or shouting at someone in a rush toward children other than so but yeah this something. Exciting and wonderful about traveling. Which if i would not able to interpret the letter of the law against the spirit of the law my life would be a lot less interesting than it is. I just wanna be able to pretend that. I don't understand stuff sometimes. I think that that's really useful. You know it's like someone's telling me about the personal history seal the red flags but i'm just. I'm just going to have a good time. Anyway you know for me is what communication is isn't it. I was saying the wrong thing. And like you say if there could be a filter in the chip to sort of protect you from saying bearing things in front of your family. So if like exercising a ping pong paddle of restraint like that would be good if they could add that bit but like actually isn't the attention for like connected to let dementia and in mouse clause for math goes it'd be great but like the attentions like quite sweet but again it's totally what you're saying is it's like that overreaching. I can kill outsiders with this chip. And i'm like has the scientists who aren't high on a podcast have to say about this. Like have you austin it. Is that beautiful thing of of a human overreach when the engineering and sciences the process of very small incremental studies. No-one likes gradual improvement alley. That's true it doesn't work very well. Those kind of like apple watch presentations by your neck. And you have to sort of like Like drums and you're kinda dad sneakers like to kind of impress everybody. Don't you have to say something mega like really awkward. Socially inept people stop clamming up in conversations. How am i going to do that. I got a chip inside that brain. Who knew they would come from elon. Musk though rather than bill gates. We all thought the brain chip was gonna come from bill gates so in some ways. This is surprising news. It's a curve ball. I mean it would be a way to go for a divorce. And then bring out a chip for good communication ashley. Maybe that would be perfect. I mean yeah that'd be that'd be a real long game if he and melinda gates were only breaking up in order to you'll ad section now because none of us really know whether the market tells us what we want or where the consumer demand really is to blame for all of the ills created by capitalism. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by advertising advertising an industry full of people whose king is faking own orgasms and the goggle is brought to you by electrolytes. Sports drinks essentially. We've sugared up your own sweat and suspended in half a glass of water for your consumption electorate. Sports drinks better than a glass of chocolate milk. Despite studies showing that a glass of chocolate milk is as effective for muscle recovery and rehydration purely because after a long run the drink switch than milk now. Tom feel food section. You'll food section. This week is about a massive pointless philadelphia cheese steak to. You're the one of us who's most recently been in america. Can you explain. This story is the pandemic over them. That could be the only reason that this shit is happening again. Coming up is going to be amazing for this year's edition of ripley's believe it or not someone in philadelphia. Renai owner of rim cafe has Has made the longest philly cheese steak in the while breaking the previous record. Four hundred and eighty eight. So he's done a five hundred ten foot long cheese steak okay well. What is a cheese steak. I i out of the gate. I think it's a steak with cheese on top of it. And i think the state had some kind of bell pepper and onion. I'm not sure. I can't be certain all i know is i at the photos. And it's just foot long sub which i think he's just it would be more impressive. They've rolled out dough blow torch like a massive long. It's just a bunch of sandwiches like somebody saying. They have a twelve inch penis when they've just stuck a dildo and then at the end of their own penis at the same. Hey don't knock that that's a fine thing to do. Would they pay the world's biggest cookie. It wasn't a bunch of small cookies tipped out on the floor. Cookie the size of a football pitch using this metric. I've done the longest gig in the world by counting. Why edinburgh may be overly concerned about all of this but it feels right to get this annoyed about cheese steak. I don't know listen. This is the other thing that is confronting to me is that it's not even consistent thing they haven't made it from the same batch. They've brought in from all around the world. The chef who was in charge rene said we had brazilian strategy and we had chinese. They made ravioli steak. I never saw it in my life. So it's not even one batch that has been laid end to end. It's just a bunch of people who've put this sandwiches close to each. Yeah after from the cafe called rim which is just worrying isn't it. I mean it's a cute story of like breaking bread post isolation i think by the end isn't it but i always hated sandwiches like associate them with church and death like just like genuinely for. It was a steak. I was really excited. And then know and just sandwiches plus get really dry or moist and this is going to be left out for ages on a massive trestle table at the only thing. Worse than average i think is evolvement. That's the only thing dryer basically. Just don't trust with the feeling like what are you hiding. Get out in the open like a pizza or something. I feel like there is such a thing as a good sandwich. But most san which is just trying to solve a rubik's cube of three competing textures. One of which is wet lettuce. Yeah i've a too dry or too dominant. Which is not what you want guys skies. You've got to just have it fresh. That's the main thing you call no sandwiches. Good one suspension. Sweaty cling phil. He's defeats the point of the sandwich. Like if you have fresh than it loses the point of the sandwiches which that you can have it later. If you're going to have a fresh you might as well just have a real meal you know. Well i don't know. I kind of enjoy the idea of this savage. I just the might of the film that goes around it that just you know. I'm jim foil wrapper fazon which is actually a fine that that keeps the air out but also stop some getting soggy. So that's my preferred gave very specific now into my sandwich likes. I didn't see any foil. Oakland film on this sandwich and it was left out. Apparently it didn't last very long. So we're talking about going. Gee like it was taking a journey on a bus. But i think it just went from the rim cafe to the table right and apparently they didn't they say less than one hour it got eaten which is insane considering how it was. I like to think that they will just went to the table. Put their hands behind the back and just eight were trough fire. At least that would be an event that would be a spectacle competitive eating that good of that that brings us to the end section to which means it's time for our reviews so each about esteemed guests has brought in something to review out of five stars two stevenson. What have you brought in. I've had many teenage awakenings. So i'm going to when i say teenage awakenings sexual. I'm going to review one of them here. And is the john. Claude van damme danzig. Eighty kickboxer is a big one. Now for those. That haven't seen this who've not had the pleasure of seeing this. The film kickboxer is essentially where john claude. Van damme is on a mission to avenge his brother is broken. Back step cracks crack. Something about how i. This scene happens midway through sort of training. Jonquil van damme is gonna fight this geezer could tonko. He's a mutai champ. And the owner of a solo man platt shaved off. Just one long platts down the back of his head and guys pre hard like i would say harder than charles bronson under a pile of sadako. He's he's hard yeah. He's hard so junk. Van damme has to go through a series of like trading. One targes. we've already had those that pre exci- and To adventures brother brother. Straight up awful in this film so he can't spin off the like ten minutes and we get to focus on the belgian bonds for the rest of the films. It's very very exciting. So yeah we're about two thirds of the way in and and the don't fight happens. Everything sequence is is glorious from the outfits the execution we've got he's in he's wearing chino's and cowboy boots a smashing together soils up top is not just the bomb up. Top something. spectacular is happening. it's a vest which at the back is shaped like a thong. I don't know if there's any other way to describe cowboy boots though invest like race race back. Yeah it's race about thinner. it's so thin it's like the the birth of back off. It's like it's also and then at the front like is very low. It's more cleavage on display an episode of love island. Right so i own. that's not to mention. The front of the vessels has braces on it. To hold up the chino's so it's a vest braces chino's cowboy boots and the cheetos are so high. There's a strong possibility he may cause infertility. So basically that's the outfit right setting the scene scene in the ball. He's out with his traina. They stopped downing shots. And then The guy who's trading him off if he likes to american disco. Why this is in nineteen eighty-nine nine so it just goes to show how fall behind. Thailand was in one thousand nine hundred nine that they're doing american disco almost into the ninety s but then the music accompanying this sequence is like pure early eighty s. so it's not seventies. it's american disco but they're gonna dance american disco. It's kind of more like it's midday. asian. Like dave coverdell. Having sex with a pair. Of leg warmers in the back of a ford escort. That kind of thing and i feel like me. Words can't do this scene justice but what happens. Next is his hips alight grinding harder than a barista on zero hours contract like imagine your dad a wedding off to a couple of days but with more confidence. There's clapping this spinning. There's winking and finally the split split the famous claude. Van damme splits. There is nothing harder than a man who can kick himself in his own head. If you could just do that off to sex and then that would be great to have awkward conversation that elon. Musk is trying to get rid of. He's doing the splits. It's good times. It's good times in spite being sued for drunk. He's got the strength and focus of a geordie shogo. He wants a kebab at three. Am is you know. he's in it. He's having a great time and then he begins to fight drunken guys in the ball incorporating the dance moves. It's the best fight dancing since west side story. Why would deny this art form. It's the fusion of disco murtaugh. It was wrong but it was also an giving it a full teenage sexual killing of full horns out five. You're not seeing it go. Watch it and tally. One of you brought it in hot hard infertile. My favorite my favorite. That's okay today. I'm reviewing the sun. Yeah the near. Perfect sphere of hot plaza has decided to return after his extended holiday to the dark side of the moon. Some say it's never out when we want it to be of a sex always leg some hayes question. Why does it take so many holidays in a year. Getting shit supply teacher. The rain cloud to cover for him then. He display more gratitude for this approximately four point six billion year old star known for being hot and dense which is also the most popular search. Turn on the dating app hinge. Our love being burned knows no bounds. This is also known for its great mood. Boosting properties causing people to spontaneously take. Their shoes often declare. I have a life outside of work. Only a fraction of society's most unsatisfied being still find a way to complain about the sun calling it too hot a narcissist that demands nudity and an ice cream melting productivity kenner. I'm actually a big fan of the sun. Searing campaign to slow the means of production also stop whining and find some shade. If you can't stand the heat get out of the garden. If you don't have a garden what are you doing. In my garden. It feels weird giving giant star a star rating. So i'd say four point eight cents for the sun and now of course it is time for our vaginas. Section or flap chat is yes. A survey of patients in hospital. Waiting rooms was directed in order to try and understand the concerns and needs of patients but discovered that nearly forty percent of people have no idea what bits of what and where they're meant to be a tiff stevenson. I'm so glad that you i hear charlie george. I'm so glad that you hear. Would you like to explain this story Well apparently according to the guardian. This is where the piece of most britons cannot name all parts of the vulva survey reveals and apparently needed the guardian. Who put up a picture of the female reproductive system. Not definitely not the vulva. I think they changed the pitcher later on. But apparently nearly forty percent of people mislabeled the clitoris regardless of their agenda so it was just four percent of people couldn't find the clitoris. The search for the clitorises is kind of like the search for the weapons of mass destruction. Medicine exists. They're angry that they can't find it and innocent. People will die so this is not surprising to me. This is in no way surprising. He's the main thing. I think i'll express this. I don't think the names. We have a very sexy. You know like we need names for female body parts because mons pubis sounds like a french restaurant. The more arose would go to or someone in the star wars galactic like his pubis and is lobbying minora mature lobby sy- frey paranoia impera neom perini imperative paradigm and join so you restore. I've missed you re throughout. I think that's covered. The entire isn't what you say when you get into a bath and suddenly understand the displacement of water. You know great names with displacement of water. I'm pretty sure. But we're when they attempt to the labeling commented that like almost half left just left the section blank. I mean at least at least how the go like you can always make something up black kids. Do it exams the eye of sour on the tunnel of love. Just get creative up and also one of the things. I've found quite weird. Was it said why ethnishity i mean this is annoying thing to say why ethnicity in high levels of education will also associated with greater anatomical knowledge and. I'm always sure white dude's doing phd's aren't learning this. From going out with women of color not crediting them like star. I mean this raises the question of what this is. What this kind of survey is going to look like in ten years when the neuralink chip has replaced all language. It'll just be point with the figure out what you meant to touch. I think you have to get map. How like especially the diagrams around isn't it. What we need is more like sort of like a map. you and i like Pirates of the pera. Neom it's kind of tea stained brilliant and it's got cooler little tributaries and journeys to the to the holes. I guess the three holes three holes. I mean we describe that you like okay now. I've totally dehumanize myself. There's got to be something nice out like the three. The three with his sisters johnny to the hulls is just cigarettes but because of my religious upbringing. I wasn't allowed to stay in the it was really poor. I didn't know about your sex education. Bit really poor anyway. But i wasn't now to stay in the room because of our religious upbringing so there was a rumor going around bible study that masturbation was rubbing your inner ear at one point. I could've done with a diagram because he used to get lot of cotton bird stuck in my ears. Try to come. The most disturbing story for me was dina el hammam see who is a senior obstetrics and gynecology registrar who works at the edinburgh hospital in cambridge saying a lot of women. Don't understand the difference between urinary incontinence and prolapse if there are any man or woman listening to this Or anybody who happens to ever need to know this. The difference is urinary. Incontinence is when a bit of week comes out and a prolapse is where bit of you comes out. It's where you go inside out. It is a terrifyingly lodge difference between those two things. Yes i guess it just shows how. How much does a lack of research around all of this stuff like. I do think it's off putting when we I think the latin terms for things confusing. I used to. I can share this with the ice to do like role play for the institute of Gynecology obstetricians as they actors in to act out scenarios where they would come and do their exams and basically you were given a sheet with a bunch of symptoms so that you're pregnant with twins or you know you can't get pregnant. A lot of it was around pregnancy ad. They had to ask you questions. And you get people from around the world so oversee the medical terms with things and there's like colloquialisms and people are trying to do so bedside manner but one man just ended up shouting at me you ever broken pussy over and over again channel possibly pulse humanely six like you may have all the knowledge but i just don't know any woodstock show god things you have to. You have to play you going. Say you have to dress as a massive the diner or something but yeah. That would have been fun. Like a tickle tickle tickle me clitoris so like a giant you go to find it. it's like. Where's wally role. Play more like whole play. Am i right. He's just upsetting. Isn't it all about reproductive stuff. And i think that's the issue. Isn't it my friends like retrained as like a dula and she's really intellect birth step and i've been learning things from her like you know. Just how bad like reproductive health care and women's healthcare in general is in terms of like peoples understanding or care about it but it seems that it's all focused on mike reproductive stuff but nothing about the the pleasure organs which is what i think we should just call them. That's just group them together and come up with like really pleasurable fund names for the bits because i guess just not looking at them in like a sexual context then. I don't think we do that with dudes bits either on the diagram which also wasn't allowed to look at you know i am. I last time. I saw a penis was playing video games with my friend and he just opened his trousers. And there's like what did you think again the necessity to just walk out and then like get people's opinions on it that's very male just seems like a very main thing to do just. I've got a friend that we we we could One one step one step ten gaffes because he would like he didn't know the steps in between say he was on a date with a goal I it's awful now saying it now like laughing but she was like was talking about the fact that her for her father recently died and they were having like this very because a first date like they're having this very kind of deep conversation i think it was his house as she turned around to get tissue out the back and then turned by. He just had how she like. I like that is the moment when someone has emotionally made themselves and it's kind of in the middle of grief to go. Whoa what about this now. This is why we call it. Step one step ten. There's no inbetween steps. There's just no dick out to dick out incredible. Well my six f was a rom called encarta two thousand that had a diagram of the male body and you could click on the bits and a voice would say the names of the bids. So i spent many an entertaining hour with my brother and his friends. Listening to the sweet sounds of penis penis vagina the giant fun. It was great from our entertainment. That's all the time we have for flood chat because now it's time for our final section of this week magazine art news and this is my favorite kind of art. News made up for fake money or real money. In this instance. An italian artist has sold an invisible sculpture for real money. So this is sort of the opposite of an nfc but also definitely exactly what an nfc is as an artist called salvatore. Gallo has sold his latest invisible sculpture for eighteen thousand dollars. You get a certification that this sculpture that you have bought charlie george. You understand nonsense. We'll happening i do but like you know eighteen grand for certificate. I mean that's pretty steep. It's basically lights is better than a university degree am i right. Hey i just kind of. I will like oh it's like lionel ritchie's head but in your dreams you know and if anyone would like to buy drawings really good i mean they don't exist but you know you can buy them. I just think it's the yankees thing imaginable. I think the last time i was we were talking about like imaginary horse racing and now we've got imaginary art that you can have. I mean i've got quite bad wars in my place and i'm always talking about getting up. I do think that lying is really expensive. So maybe if. I just spoke about the concept. I bought the concept to the not pace. That's really gray and described it to people. I don't exist. Therefore i am. I imagine this all right. I mean that's what the work was titled. It was called. I am and it doesn't exist except in the artist's imagination. Why i really liked about this. Is i think i think guy who was selling it it was someone who was reporting on it described. It works in any light. And i was like. Yeah because it's not real taking conceptual art to its ultimate logical conclusion in his art. That is just a concept. And i'm really annoyed about this because it's it's stymied my idea of just publishing a coffee table book which is just descriptions of pictures. That aren't there on the very mcgreevey tibnit arguably old podcasting is just description of pictures. That was great. Steph is the office to the surrealist who did the synod pound peop- so it was a painting of of of a pipe and then underneath it just as soon as this is not a pipe this painting of a pipe. So it's quite fun if you're in a gallery and you see someone looking at any of the magritte's that That have this is not underneath if you just lean in their go. This is no agree and it's a really fun. No-one will get some people will look at you. My favorite odd experience is going to super modern art galleries and watching people look at things that a wool fittings. But they think there are. Yeah that would happen all the time in the. I've definitely probably been staring warfighting too long. But i just imagined the person who's bought this by and then type of person that probably end up accidentally go back to their place right. And then they like to show him you their certificate and then describing you there imagined at and you'd be really annoyed at them for that. It's like the worst worse than if they serenade you with guitar. It's just like i'm going to talk to you about my imaginary sculptor now. I liked the idea that there's just the certificate which was mentioned. The owner of the invisible sculptures gets a certificate of the guarantee of the sculptures authenticity and the bias. Stupidity like i get it is was apart from the valley. We on is satirizing that but also golf. Yeah is that. Would you like to see my certificate. Bestselling selling the space around the sculpture. That was what he said. He said he was The successful outcome of the auction testifies to an irrefutable fact. The void is nothing but a space full of energy and even if we mt an nothing remains according to heisenberg uncertainty principle. That nothingness has way therefore has an energy that condenses and transforms itself into particles ensure in us very existential. This is a language of a man who will be able to try and talk his way out of sitting in your kitchen sink. That brings us to the end of our show. Now we're flipping through the ads and classifieds at the back of the magazine. A few singles advertisements here sexy. Boom man doesn't know how to use. The internet seeks same for friendship and fun. No tire kickers and lonely lady looking for sugar patriach much like a sugar daddy but more dignified and ideally in charge of a dynasty of warring siblings. She can maneuver the will later. Down the line with a well-placed sensual boob on the aging head. Charlie george where can people find you online. You can find online on instagram and facebook at charlie. George comedy and on twitter at cg does comedy. I'm doing some work in progress. Triple bill shows who'd funny thames at three brown women for the price of one white man posted me to scandal over the summer and another classified ads. Which is loose spirit looking for somebody. To inhabit. possession is nine tenths of the law and that tiff. Have you got any way that people should find you. Hunt you down. We'll see you in real life. Farm your twits and doing some shows. i'll be in brighton in june And newcastle edinburgh. Glasgow buy tickets. I've done no i don't have a tool promote dominate pr. Because they moved about three times. And i just resheduled them. So this is my. This is what all buy tickets genuinely. It's so hard to do paige because everything gets canceled. And you know people go into lockdown and it's very stressful so buy tickets to people shows if you see anybody plugging anything like go out of your way to hunt down. Don't wait to hear about three times as they say like. Just go and go and see live comedy as much as you possibly can Because comedians desperately need it speaking which i will be doing the bundy festival in sydney on the ninth and tenth of july. I think probably that sounds about right. Google it this is the goggle editor of this. Goggle is pig hunter. The executive producer. Is chris skinner. This is a bugle podcast and alice. Fraser production all to you again. Next week you can listen. To other programs. From the beautiful including the bugle the last post tiny revolutions. And the goggle. Wherever you find your podcasts.

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Street Fighter: The Movie - Let's Watch It Again Podcast

MTR Podcasts

1:02:31 hr | 7 months ago

Street Fighter: The Movie - Let's Watch It Again Podcast

"Rob here from npr podcast. Four diablo donuts. Here's the thing cats and kittens. We all know that. Twenty twenty has been a dumpster fire. It's been sour. But don't sweet specifically diablo donuts. The oslo donuts is a small batch. Artisan shop with local ingredients a kind staff in good old fashioned doughnuts worthy twist. Wrap your lips around the berry cheesecake or the captain chesapeake a curl mill obey combo. That's just it's just great. Diablo donuts is always fresh. Always flavorful and local af kit up four one zero and place your order today. Tell them rob league sent you. After seven months of fighting civil war chapel hill may have reached a turning point. The capitalized just fall in december. Nineteen ninety-four the forces of freedom will face a power dictator in a struggle for the fate of the world. I'm going to kick vicence. Don't have to be better than that. No who wants to go home and wants to go with me. Wait to see mytalk shaking catherine kittens. This is a rob lee from mtr podcast. Mastermind team's broadcast getting to the truth in his art. And this is neither of those. This is less. watch it again. Our movie review podcast for for for this first iteration of movies. We're recovering movies. That either have a video game kind of thing to something that pop culture significance That either are in like an anniversary like a big kinda like milestone year and we break them down these movies. We've watched week wash over and over again in a means something to us and not always good with air. There's something so with me. I have my man have a man. I'm i'm always gonna call you dirty and you always deamer a man claiming the mighty coppola media co play co play play. Pull up. Check him out. Www dot was that address was run media dot com and catch us on facebook and co pay media. Catch us up on twitter on instagram. All them's bogey coldplay media. Please check us out man. We'd love to hear more to have my shameless plug up front. And the reason i wanted to have you here sir. You are a big time gamer. You know shit. I believe you are a streetfighter guy to yes. Yes i mean. Streetfighter is like the base of all current fighting to even three games. all fighting games by everyone uses. Everybody knows how to do. The dugan sure route spills to you. Know what i'm saying so check it. I'm gonna do this real quick notice what tattoo i have. What is that the flags on their shoulders like embracing logo to that. I have on my body shadow. Looming may so yeah new villains villain shit so i wanted to talk about this movie. You and i are around the same age. We were both kids in his movie. Came out It's in his twenty six th anniversary. This year it'll be a twenty six years old on december twenty third. This was a christmas release so the movie is not particularly great. But also if you look at video game movies that are adaptations of video games. They were not good at this time so previously and you can tell me if they if if you like it but if it was good or not because that's two different things you're going to be a fan so so check it. You had a nine hundred ninety three. You have super mario brothers. I liked it super. Mario brothers i actually liked but as movie though. Was it a good movie. Oh it was terrible. It was terrible first of all. I don't like john leguizamo in pretty much. Every bond he was good. Bonna yeah he was he was he was a good violator. He was an excellent via violator was the best role he played next to. What was it the creep over the past press was fire the past year. His name was good but it him like he was miscast. The super mario brothers. A dennis hopper also miscast. There were some weird things going on with that movie. In addition to that believe this was a year before mortal kombat which we covered previously on. This podcast my brother and me and So that went the way that it did. And you know what. For sake of argument loosely. We had teenage mutant ninja turtles. Which had games out at the time so you know it was a really interesting atmosphere at that time for a movies that were based on video game properties. They didn't get a lot of respect and certain things really didn't translate and some of the things still remain like you look at movies from a blood rain and things like that like whoever directed though that german dude. I guess the same as your bowl. Yeah the movie blood rain those his movies all trash. Yeah yeah it's like it's like Like shaun of the dead trash to like sean does is got the graphics. The dead wood may found. The dead good was the funniness. Like shot of the dead. Had that had that world class. Will you hilarity going on. You know it is so so with him an hour. And we'll get into this particular movie because i don't want to belabor too much on it but i think you know when it comes to phantom you you have a degree of excitement and i think streetfighter and Mortal combat because they had a big they had some significant in arcades because arcade goto was a thing in the early to mid nineties. I don't know when it died out. Maybe that's something i can. you know. Reach out to you on on when they kind of died down a bit. But i feel like they made attempts. I remember my first knowledge of the street. Fighter movie wasn't in a trailer it because we don't have that same culture as far as how movies are presented. It wasn't tv spots. It was via the soundtrack ice cube in a bunch of rappers on the soundtrack for this thing and the same thing kinda applies for like mortal kombat. I didn't see a trailer for more common. Initially i saw that that fucking. I heard that techno test your mind. Oh this is what we know so hard very hard made the movie so let me let me go over my notes. Or what have you and we'll get into some topics related to the movie. What our thoughts are and all of that good stuff. So here's the plot simple because it's very dimensional is not a lot of work being done here. Colonel guile and various other military martial art heroes fight against the tyranny of dictator m bison and his cohorts. That is the plot of this frigging movie. Sounds about right. Yeah so the movie came on. Nineteen ninety-four december nineteen ninety-four christmas always and it star john. Claude van damme. Who was coming off of a really good period of time. A lot of stuff coming back. He was killing it so hard. They made american look. Don't we're gonna talk about that. And we have ryan julia and and what would be his last film and remember. Ow do julia from adam's family and a bunch of other stuff. But as far as what we have known him for he was gomez addams. Yeah that was his tongue. He died while filming. He died at the nfl me so he was sick on set the entire time he had stomach cancer stage four cancer so it was like and a lot of talk around. It was a head scratcher right. He's a really good classically trained actor. Why are you working with the likes of this cast and if you recall. He blows people off the screen in his scenes. Because he's that good but the only reason he did the movie his kids were big fans of the game and gave them opportunity to be kids and do something. Great for him and in the end credits. The movie is dedicated him because he he died shortly after the movie was finished. Let's see so. Here's the thing. No who's the developer of the game. Yes capcom had full say on casting and everything had to be run through them before any like film. Decisions were made so they push for john. Claude van damme being cast and my thing is like why would they push for john. Claude van damme like john claude. Van damme as gal. They don't have a french fighter. He's very french very building. so one of the things. I listened to any in another review of the movie is that capcom wanted to have all of their characters and i don't know which street fighter were in because i think we read or two but all of those other. Iterations like hyper draw. They were at terbal. Ultra whatever 'cause. Dj was in there so they wanted every character in the movie. They would have fifteen main characters in this movie. It is already too many for what we got right. It's just like we get our ox. Halon forbid we get e honda. Guinea honda get blankets character development. At turning into a month nook man and so like the movie had a three thirty five million dollar budget and a quarter of it once john. Claude van damme. Who's asking price was eight million at that time rajawali. I think got like six so the majority of your money want to your to lease right. So that's not actor budget. That's budget for the full film. So they needed to shoot certain places. So you have to work around. How how'd you get these things here. And the other thing to consider in it had a really big troubled production right. So i mentioned before row. Julia was super sick. Like cancer onset so they are shooting out of order so he can kinda bulk up and kinda put way back on. Because you can't have him you know trying to be bison as a not a small dude i thought he was wondering one of those bodies since i thought he was covered up because he had like a fake muscle suit on like. I thought that was what was really going on. Like he he's he's he's he's told though but you can't have like a person who's doing chemo and shit like that. So they were shooting out of out of order to do all of the dialogue stuff and then due to fighting around julia designed. Fighting's all of that When the stomach cancer and all get so the movie had really negative reviews shaded you know and it may ninety nine million worldwide may thirty three and a us and sixty six abroad and part of that i think is attributed to you. Having international cast so stephen susan's director credits. Include commando diehard and forty eight hours. Man each one of these action movies. Yeah other credits. But each one of these action movies with some comedy and those comedic elements work. This was i think. His directing debut he got. Hold out let's. Let's just call it what it is because you got capcom. You gotta do that. You gotta deal with john. Claude van damme being a hot boy which we'll talk about a little bit more and just played with production issues lots of production issues so someone to production issues include like i was saying they had the shut shoot out of order so generally the understanding i get is you. Shoot the chute the dialogue. I then the action so you could do that later. So people can actually get trained on some of these fighting styles. because was the thing and more a streetfighter. everyone has different fighting styles. Everyone has the same fighting style in the movie. They do their cat. Hyper moves you the hundred hand slap. You have a really lose. Can we'll also talk about. Yeah do can ever may it was like it was like the first there were no tubers guns. They ran a budget so they only they could do. They could just have a quick flash. Yes that's literally in the fucking or history for the movie you know why they took you from mortal combat combats. Just that young where he gave that that fire thing yes You have to. John did to flash kicks in the movie though he did. But you didn't have the flourish so everything was kind of like sully down also kuenz the uppercut but he threw was trashed win. He was standing at first of all. That is a tiger uppercut. You know what i'm saying. Because he didn't jump. Yeah it's just like it was just a standing uppercut like just now i get it you know now. Now all of shit was for quite. He didn't psycho driver. He did all his ship bra. Yeah that's spending so he did so he really did. He was meaning. Jake has tight so so you have all of the things that are going on with it and some of the budget issues because you have a lot of the money frontloaded right to to actors and resulted in some of the choices that they made. So do you know. John clot Passed on to do streetfighter. Do you know what movie passed on. I think it was wasn't mortal. Kombat engage in mortal kombat beguile. Honestly honestly i think the guy who ended up playing. It would've been better because he he had the whole first of all nothing against turns out. You know what i'm saying. I guess starting to tom. He's sold the movie. About roy way star on the poster. No-one probably would've saw it wasn't in there. But as a gamer who knows gal. Look like yo well. You can't do that. That's just not going to happen but even extending yellow at least nine. His hair like blonder is not blonde. Is that blonde is not a dirty blonde. It's like a not really. It's gotta of a blonde kind of brown haircut. You know what i'm saying like he's very fritsch is like you know your accents are now checking chug it. So even try gets married Because he had a lot of things going on he gets married before filming starts immediately is like. I'm going to thailand. Which is where the filming part of the movie right. And this motherfucker was out every night just getting loose. At the time he had a ten thousand dollar a week and this is from owners dot com and all of this and this is confirmed by the director. It was like yeah. He kinda just didn't show up certain days onset because he was out partying the night before and he had a ten thousand dollar. We co cabot and is a lot of regret that's been mentioned since right and also his wife was like there while he was filming and he wife was there yes so that was happening right and he was in a relationship an affair with kylie minogue. Who play cami. So who's bad. Who is so interesting thing about that. She was cast in the movie off of alarm right. So the susan was flying and looking for a new location to film wanted to sequences. Right and the sequence. I think the filming in australia in australia was like you know if you want us. If you wanna film here kind of for this count. You need to have an australian actor in this movie. That's why she was cast australia. Oh they were running out of money so he was brought into the stunt coordinator to help with like some of the stunt work and all of these different shifts. They end up making him second half dot director because like i was saying shot some things for like the dialogue scenes. They shot in one place at the action scenes. They thought so wells because of their dabs fucker they were so behind schedule is like i john clubs in the scene today do talk around duck. He even at the fight scenes that you can't you can't fight without him in the scenes so through. He said some wild shit of muscles aren't as big as i want him to be. Today's i'm not gonna make it in today. I'm kinda working muscles out for eight million dollars. You already gave yard problem. You can't say nothing. You know what i'm saying. I i'll so later in the movie because they were behind wrapping things up kind of figuring things out then help them with the stunt coordination because no one was trained only got to fight scenes despite wanting them to like not really having some people. So it's like. I need you to act like you know moi. Tie sagay and throw this knee. Notice the only those punches a throw one knee got boxing authorization. Yes small blows like well. I guess i brings us a question that i want to ask like would care. Drew was most likely the actual character. So we'll get to that. We'll get to that. I want to wrap up a few things before we get to that so i the movies play production issues. We talked about forbid In two thousand ten the film was ranked twenty seven out of the fifty worst films ever created per empire and this was john. Claude van damme first. Pg thirteen rated movie now. The movie was initially rated r. So they had to do another cut and then they they cut too many things out of the movie in a dropped it down to like a g rating and then they add some stuff in there was pg and he said look. We need to be pg thirteen because teenagers video game audience. So it's a scene where john claude van damme is Edward goal is taking a wrote to get into vices hideout and he says for years of rotc for this shit that's what got it into being pg thirteen. That one line was they put in after they finished. Everything made it pg thirteen man. But i mean that's what they wanted it to be so they put it in like what is going to get us over because there's no real blood in the movie. If you look at it you have a few things. But nothing like like vega has a weapon that stabs people. He's does no work. He stabs no one no one. No one even gives grace. I don't think my may even like anybody. He has killed three punching bags in the movie. But no person no person who was stabbed. I can pretty much nothing. Dj well he's a he was you guy he's like You know i'm doing this. He's like he paid me a fortune. I was like wow point back to your point. One of the things you mentioned Who was most likely. We'll get into that. We'll get into our favorite card just from the movie who i think worked for the adaptation and what are some are saint favorite scenes from the movie. So who who do you have in mind as far as who worked. Who is your favorite character. And who kinda worked as far as an adaptation. He may not have been your favorite character but their presentation worked certainly worked for me. Charnley was appropriate chimney was hot. Charlie was was an undercover spy which played into it. She hated advice because he killed her dad. And that is part of the story of why she's there. She's tracing a shadow lou or whatever so as far as story wise like it was actually the most boneyard her and everything that was going on with. The story supported her role of working with the cia. Or something like outlet. You say interpol for sake of argument like inner pole or something like that and i think that she worked she worked who else. Dj was hilarious. You know like a wild anything. Is there for just comedy. You know what i'm saying to find out. Dj is really the it guy. You man like. I just said this stuff up on. I'm taking these bison dallas going to pay us like you mean we're going. I love that part. Where like you got a the diesel donkey work. And then the guy that plays them. I think it was actually a wrestler at the time which is what the carter is. Yep so that worked out. He was big he was done. I think he had some scars on. That's all you really need. And his whole thumbs up like this baby landed every time. This is anybody else that you other thoughts. You had a so ri- you and can i did. Yes oh so. Do you work for you right. Yeah and brian man has been in a few other things. He had a weird casting thing. He tried on multiple times In he was cast late. I think he wanted to be fei long. Because the actor actually might be chinese. I'm not sure about that. But i know that. He tried on multiple times and he really wanted to be involved. Ken did not work for me. Ken was we can was wack. Ken was like a like a bitching ass teenager joining along. You know what. I'm saying just like are we there yet. We're only going to do this. I don't know we gotta shoot them and then they're shooting. Gosh you guys. You guys are supposed to like martial artists. Well there hustlers. So i can give them that. How do you work these two guys. In as far as i gave some license to movies when it's because we all know that movies comics video games. There's a degree campinas. Ret conning all of that different shifts so that's a piece of it but as far as what they work. And i thought ken was always rich like in the story. Ken is swimming in money. Now and that's the thing is just like you know. They try to on that late when he was he was only after money. So maybe he lost his riches. They could've touched on that. They could have made that a thing. But you know there's a few things in i washed it. Today's oh it's a few things that kinda helped the movie. The movie is under two hours is like our forty minutes which is a good run time. I think I eat so the cars. I worked before we get past this thing I i agree like a lot of jungle leeward. Canny although it a small amount she worked. I mean how white girl. Let's all you had to be And i gotta give him credit with all of that was going on. And he's the only actor my opinion early in the movie. Bison worked i mean he so in terms of research right row. Julia looked at dictators. He was doing dictator speech the entire time he took. That shit's even even for video game movie. He took it to some degree of seriousness and he was just talking wild shit. I'm like like when he'd levitated initially and he was like. I will strike down and i was like wow for was talking to chun li was about killing her day and it was tuesday for him. He was like yeah. That was the greatest time of your life. That was simply a tuesday for me. I'm sorry i don't remember any of it. You don't remember the day by some grace. Village was the most important day of your life but for me it was tuesday. Dow's awesome for me. It was a tuesday like to say something like that. Someone wants to kill you. Use planning on smashing. He was still playing matters. Hugh hefner smoking jacket ownership with still with the with the bison zero on one of the things that so. There's a lot of dubbing going on in the movie too. i don't know if you notice it. So i don't know if you heard this captains awada new he. He became so he was made specifically for the movie. And the actor's name is water. He was originally cast. Think to be re you right. But his english is so bad that we can't dub all reuse talking parts so let's just dub dub because there's a scene where cami is talking about the plan with the Plan that we're going gonna have and oh when the assassin comes to try to kill to kill a guile earlier in the movie and he's like cami and none of water stuff is on screen. You hear him talking but his face not on screen. What he's talking is a blatant up. jacqueline john. Claude van damme trying to rally the troops. I'm going to kick that salute beaches. Bisons is so hard that they next vice in one of a is going to feel it like what the fuck is happening. Man sounds so foreign to when he was like by. Take a look at yourself in does the first thing he hit by sin on the american tax you dick and it was such a trash to you. It's like is that out of a machine like they paint this law. Like did they put that tattoo there. Just for the punching senior flex. Be like america on your. I feel like the lines that make up. The white part of the american flag were not made out of ink. I feel like they were made out of. He's a mumble. One said it needs to come back. Because he's only one is some of these things and some of the things he doesn't give a shit and the only thing they mentioned about him. His ego was running wild hulkamania. It's like you can't have coked of ego and then just smashing your co host co-star because because we needed houma takeoff because the my opinion that whole that whole movie was like the best movie autumn kickboxer that's like in the late eighty s. I believe nah was. It wasn't kickboxer day. And as such as kickboxer blood sport is one blows ward. I believe it was eighty eight eight. In my opinion that was like the best movie he ever did. So this is. I think as the wheels are starting to come off so we'll we'll probably gonna cover it for a future episode. One of my favorite movies is double impact with the twin van. Damme's yes that's a good one me and my brother love that funding movie and the trailer says this. Double the damage. It is so strong. So let's see okay now so we touched on that. Those are the people. I think that work in it. I think the. I think the plot is very simple and i think that's effective that you don't need all of this. Should he could've did a tournament. But i'd same capcom knicks that they didn't want to do which is smart because it's basically just before more combats could have jumped on at and you know but the thing that didn't work and its budgetary constraints but not seeing the super is not seeing any of the moves actually or seen a watered down version of it kinda zillow shitty You know we didn't talk about. He was trash she was guiding him him him in dollars in trash trash terrible. Things just never had him in there. The mind altering lab was trashed. How did he become bold. Then you have a full head of hair earlier. I just didn't make any sense with whatsoever. So i feel as if they were forcing those two characters. Yeah and i would've wanted. I whatever i wanted any minimize the amount. That's there but he tried to have that. Charlie my friends an fucking storyline and shit and i didn't need it numb. Who okay question for that time. What character would you have liked to seen added in. Who would you like to see removed from a movie. Did no work that you'll i. I can take him out and let me replace them with this guy. I mean definitely take our blanket because blanco was one a badge sword they were trying to fit in like a knock off. Hope for you. You know. I would say that like from my perspective. He was the downside of it. As far as like who. I would like like who i want to be in the movie. Who who would you want to add. But he had this one caveat there. We can't change the story though. Because there are people you can add. Everybody changes the story structure. A little bit because you get thoroughfare along in there but like whereas fit you know what i mean. As far as what. What's what's there. Because i think long is glaring that he could just come out your blogger. You save a good fifteen minutes him. This story all that she in and out seeing both can come out. That's as people and the only reason that you keep blanket in it and it didn't happen if he did the electrical thing if he got no ball electrocute or someone then the way depicted. I'm happy with it. Because i saw a fire move. Yeah i'd be happy with that. Because i don't think he electrocuted anybody did he. Did he only thing. He did was york somebody up and like electric. No here in the us know what did he do. A spinning attack new hint so bison was going to use him to kill all the hostages he wanted to me. Yeah and that's fine. They could've just said we're just gonna shoot. All the hostages worked in there for no reason. In my opinion them they were shooting and everything else. So who would you bring in their. Who'd you put in. Does it have to be from three fire turbo it. It had to been there in the canon by nineteen ninety-four 'cause you know who i'm thinking about. There was an indian guy who was part of that cast back then of the movie of the video game or something like that. T hawk was already there. T hawk was in there too. He was with. He was the second in command bandage on his head the entire movie he was with dial supposed to be t hawk. Yeah yeah. he hadn't anytime hawks he didn't but he had the vest on when they stormed the place and he put a ban on slowly. There's low loose i mean. That's that's what. I will go with that that that would be what i would. I don't know. I can't think of a good one. What about you. i'm. I'm gonna look real quick because i ain't i need. I need somebody in there. You know. I kinda almost want to say i need a real ciga- because i'm a guy guy in i didn't get him. I think they did. Terrible on barak to barak was simply a black guy island. Boxing gloves gloves. You know you can put in air. They could do an angle that you still have all of this stuff there. A- kuma pops up. Oh wow. I can't believe i didn't think of a coup or soccer off pop up and i think we're good. We're good we could work the minute. We can't have like a kuma being like he could be like the actual big bad but it doesn't change it too much. But he's there which sets up a sequel. he just need appearance. It doesn't need to have a big role but he has to pop. Bonaire seven appearances. Like oh shit. Who's the actual guy post credit scene. Like you call it right there. Just one raging deeming one raving team that the end. Everybody will be ready. It will be really fire because lean into the video game thing you know when you when you die in the game and his life gotta to put in at the end of the credits you have that and then you just see a kuma walk in their show is back done will fire fire. I would sign up for that. Like i'll be down for that definitely Let's see else. We have so. I think that that works back back. Bowral quake so his his ama. His haircut was terrible now. He was a boxer. You gotta give him that because he did throw punch to do. He knocked them out and they did do that. Stupid dubbing well then what about those hostages was like what the fuck honda was fire. Though and the idea of making him hawaiian it worked wining. Honda was actually like now. That was actually a really nice fan. That they put on definitely works. Yes and if the fight with him as he was fired by the way even though they had the godzilla thing going on at one point like i i mean those were the funny part of the lie. That was funny. I just feel as if you know. Like i wish there was less shooting in actual fighting and i think that by not having a tournament. You're kind of. You're kind of forcing characters to get shot at a whole. You know what. I got an idea you know what did it. They go ahead less shooting. They could've spent more time in because they did have a little bit of a tournament. When vega was fighting and i see can review in that club you could have half as long club. And he's one of the guys fighting allergies have him beat the shit out of somebody and it's like the guy fei long you'll need to have him in their further than that. But you know for what we saw with vega in a cage fighter and that established. I feel like we didn't give we. Don't get enough credit to vegas. Vegas find any only have four lines in the movie. Pretty though he was pretty but that was that was the thing about is that he wore masks because he thought he was ready. And yeah i think he actually a martial artist to the late up. So i think there's a way to work along in there and a really good way to work a coup bowral. He coulda taken him out to He works cami. And that's fine but also you know they have something like when when he's in him in honduras being tortured. Right the guys would have been the cause they. Yeah you know i mean. We do training like this to see if we can because they talk about honda. I'm sumo so i can block out pain. But if bauer said something to get him over as a boxer we somehow has boxing gloves later in the movie. I'm like what are you doing. Where did you get these roads. Carry the pocket. You never know and hit hit. The wild cutoff is. Yo- just make them bold. Just give along here. Why guys do all heads. Yeah like whatever he they put on his head that she was not working man been killing him. Yeah just like a you ever seen as funds has just been used too much. It just looked like it. His hair did not work at all for me. And even then like i just like. Who's the black guy. This needs to go all right so we touched on that. We touched on some of the things in their characters and all of that. But let's i think we kind of stepped on a little bit but let's go. Now what do you think. Where your favorite. What's your favorite scene. If you need a second. I can give you minds second. Yeah so my favorite scenes are pretty much most of all julia about away. Yeah yeah that's what i say. Like the part where he was talking to jason to fire pretty much his entire the so when they get there to buy some place. All of that is fire to me. there are a few things that are a little loose but most of fire his his speech his speech in talking to Guile and their fight all that is good. That's like my favorite sequence there. Are you man enough to fight with me. Anyone who opposes me. We'll be destroy. Oh yes again. Just take the hostages out. If i'm not upside in fifteen minutes evacuate without me. One really funny thing was when he tried to blow up the boat. He had like a street fighter. Arcade game he was using to shoot at the boat. Which was a good saying. You remember by snape lewis. The town of he created l. vendors. Wanna get in. Wow branding man you know. He was definitely entrepreneurially One one final. The final scene in the movie is probably the best thing entire movie. Are you talking. About when vice. In a fight after s cow gets out and the building blows up. Bisons headquarters blows and everyone is in victory pose. That's a fire scene. Can't turn around ask cheeks out fog in gangly jumps up and shit. Everyone is in their gow's don't the dushi look at my abs- of our owners is fire as the best movie. The scene is the best one and she's he's even got the perfect thing with their hands and the like that you know what i'm saying like even you boy bowel rod tries to redeem himself. Yeah i mean you could like you don't have any villains in so is all of the with the exception of zangari's but he format and his he had zinke says probably one of the the sleeper. Mvp that movie about away. Well he was fine. He was definitely like brain. Comedy definitely mashed well as character and plus him being arrested just made the the whole thing even better he okay. So let's do it that way. I i think seems the scenes. I think we can agree on scene right. I think you can cut out. Maybe like if you cut out the espionage saying like. I want you to get it that you need to have chungli is a spy. Or what have you. But they would like to espionage saints with chung lee. The one with the dancing. I did one of those can go either. Breaking into the guy was in dead or her breaking into by plays one of those gotta go. Yeah and it's probably the one guy. Because i think the breaking into vices thing gets her in the palace and has where everything kind of happens so i think that in cutting out blunkett and dalcin things that takes you down to about eighty minute movie. You can put that post credit scene. When i was talking about in their fire. Now they did do that. That sequel which was not good. The latest young the legend of chung ling in two thousand nine bison was a businessman. You're gonna love this. You're gonna love this. So who was the old master from like the first streetfighter. The old master jim. I think his name is jen. Maybe yeah you know. That was played by robin shoo. Who is a lou. King from mortal combat. This movie it looks terrible. It doesn't it is so terrible. So i'd never seen a movie at five percent at rotten tomatoes so doug now look at look at regular streetfighter. Look at like ninety four streetfighter. You would think they know so. Look at look at ninety four. I'm gonna look at the budget. Legend of chung lead. Did they have a higher budget. Have a higher budget. Then marco dr michael clarke duncan's he was bowel rod. Yeah yeah he was back now. That was a much better bowron. You know what. I'm saying like so this this movie. So the budget. For the legend of chung li was eighteen so half of the budget of the first movie. It made thirteen gain worldwide. Just it right now. I'm looking at it and you know what it reminds me of. Because a electra and it wasn't good and intellectual. I don't like that movie. that was terrible. What are you talking about electrical. Go back to back years. I want to see a lecturing cat. Woman is service to my girlfriend and they were. both movies. Came out around my birthday. So these are my birthday movies. I'm sorry cattleman is better than women battered intellectual because you get a lot of unintentional comedy especially their basketball team. That's terrible so let's see. Could you redo this movie now. When i was getting that is that sequel happened. Let's forget that. Could you redo movie. And who would you cast as guy. Because i think that's a big recast right there because van damme kind fucked his movie of a little bit. He sows moving but he also fucks it up. So it's like a zero sum game kind of you know who really actually played like a decent guy on your show supernatural. Just an echoes. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Dean would be a straight guy all he you them a little bit of a little bit of a pompadour just a little bit. Not a lot you know. Never he'd be like running style. You know what. I'm saying like you know who would have worked in nineteen ninety-four who kurt russell kurt russell definitely because he can grow a lot of hair you give them a crewcut. You painted blonde. And the thing is he comes off as a military guy and he's not that much older than damme. Van damme just turned sixty russell. Sixty nine sixty. Yes we're all now so they're old is just. It's just surprising. Sometimes still like my damn. I am the sole it would. I think it would work. Who would you cast as bison in what are you. Gases bison are natural by six four perfectly for i mean way to actual i want to say i love this show like that's hard fan. Big fan like the olympic season. Fifteen minutes ending. Yeah Now the his opponent contention it'd be talked about it now granted. I don't think you can do street fighter movie. It doesn't have to be a remake per se quickly. What do you think the premises and do you try to put block in it because we are now twenty. Six years removed from what we initially saw. So we do. A lot is still. Streetfighter is like still based on street fighter. Two level world or can is is based on street fighter. Is they on the carter that exist as of now but you can only put eight characters movie and gal in bison have to be one in the first two. Carter's okay okay. So if i'm bringing in so i can use all three fighter right and anybody. You want those two already. Picks that you've got six the work with why got six characters that i got to work with so i'm gonna bring in alex this really big fan. I'm a huge fan of the buki would be like a good counter for turnley on so i got has to be in their fuck. Never mind is hard isn't it. i only keeping. We're having a buki replaced friendly okay. So that's alex kabuki. Who else would i put in there. what's his name. He was exactly like dang like cheese was his name he was like The guy was it guy dying. Their guy would replace right. You an can move out of their. You know both out of there and then we're going to be ending with the main character as being a cooler because that's what we really want to see anyway. So so let's say we got five people so so you got you. Got guy a coma. Who else ga bison buki who else. I would also add in their verdy. Sust early would be funny ma'am role to instead of the zang role that oil talking about the oil do. Yeah i mean. Because this is how i feel about right. I feel as if you're going to bring in street fighter one. You're going to have to do some things to. Because i just looked at it and that shit that legend of played by i think that. Isn't that the same girl who was in smallville. Yes christian cryonic or whatever kristin who took like i would i would have the story and it would probably be in some kind of tournament fashion but there would be more reasons kind of leading up into it. It would not be as terrible as combat annihilation. But i think about all the terrible things of mortal kombat annihilation and i just want to say like none of that. None of that stuff. Yeah i think. The i think the war backdrop works for I think you still have to have gone on air. I i wanted to play up some of the things like this is a video game so don't take it too serious and play into those things but also hard for like some of the game. The fighting games to adapt them from fighting game which is usually tournament base to think about my fucking thanks tornament base but to change it into something. That isn't that is hard to get that over. Its maybe you're trying to recruit someone. Maybe it's an origin story for somebody or or maybe it's just i don't want it to be mortal combat because i think using coomer it can easily turn into mortal combat. And you don't want to retread that. But i think the military thing if they would've if i don't think we would have the complaints about the guns is much is if they had. Let's say another ten million dollars right and they were able to put in. Cgi for the super. Yeah that brings the movie. It breaks one fifty hundred and fifty million and we're jazzed about it. I mean let's take a look like a huge fan of blood score right and blood was technically. You know one of those times john of like. Hey you're fighting this guy you're fighting this guy you're fighting this guy and i think they did a good job of being able to have a tournament scene while developing story around it you know. My homeboy cats vange. So do you adapt. Maybe like i think we talked about a little bit this weekend this past weekend. Would it be like the street fighter. Two animated joint and just like does not currently in the military. He's former military. And that's how you get rid of all the military should like. He's he's in this tournament. Kinda give him the motivations that had in us he's an ornament because somebody needs to take out these mother fuckers and he's the guy yeah they can do. a flashback. Some partners or team they were. They were charlie got murdered. Exactly exactly instance story. You don't saying boom cooma in there at the nbn final character at cami under the mind. Control thing that happened and she's like an assassin because she looks so cute. She's going to do anything. But then she's breaking nicklaus hundred is now you know what i'm saying. He's doing that thing where she liked twists on their hands jack. That's how tight man i like. Honestly the animated movies did a whole lot better than the actual movie. I'm going to watch some tonight. That's why so in the last few minutes how i got. I got two questions for you. One really one actually question. How many high do ins do you give this movie out of. How many five. I give this movie number. You know i'm gonna give this movie like three lukens right at one because it came out at the time of my age. I love this movie. Brennan this movement and this was also like i haven't seen in this movie and twenty years in as we talk about it. All the scenes are rushing back. Like oh my god this happened. This happened this happened in. I think for being memorable that that definitely helps in street fighter is not to be taken seriously and i think they did a good job of somewhat keeping things light in keeping folks in j. engaged and i would say like three with that being said know you could have gotten michael. Clark duncan or somebody else to play ball raw. You could have gotten ninety four ninety four. He wasn't around ninety four. I don't think you could get him in ninety four. I also you know what you're right. You're right i'm wrong. Because they want for a lotta no name or kind of lesser actors. So they could have got him they could have just picked him up grabbed him up but also you can't have him bigger ben because i'm calling a big do if big into the do two plays and then it makes zang if not as good who is plus in the movie i mean was bigger than everyone except for zaeef but but i vaguely put it this way. I like to row. Julia's legitimately like six two six three. He's not in a lot of scenes. Do playing eve plays is not super bowl clogging to six five. He's a think so you have been really fire. If mike tyson wasn't in jail at the time were dollar like my motivation. Just be yourself champ. They should have made a made a movie about. They had mike tyson playing ball wrong. That could have been like a whole villain movie right there. You analyze being homey. Vegas somewhere cheering them on you. Now if he didn't pass. I think he passed in nineteen ninety four. If we did the long one we were able to work along in there. You know who. The firefight long brandon lee randomly would be a firefighter long. Yeah yeah i. I i still do. You feel as if there is a future for any kind of street fighter mabini. Remakes real live happening in the future. In your opinion i think. The legend of chun li probably that i think with all the stuff going on and sports i think if they put out a really fire game capcom. And there's some did you watch high score. I score the movie as a gaming documentary on net flicks. Oh i started watching. I haven't finished it yet. So i think it was like episode three episode four only talking about the gaming like fighting games like mortal kombat history fighter so if east boards get a hold of like really motivating capcom to do i fire game and does really well. It might be nudge to push it out there. And i think it would be a netflix property. So there are some stink there. 'cause flexes sometimes there stuff isn't as great but they throw a lot of money at it so if you gave it the pro the power the project power budget and Just like jamie fox is going to be wrong. I then and just look. Here's eighty million mega street fighter. Movie or a six part series. I'm therefore i'm i'm there for it. Because his other thing win that mortal combat joint comes out. Maybe that gives it the juice to say you know what we're gonna diverse. How mortal kombat and night in the nineties came out after street fighter. Maybe this is the reverse that streetfighter says we're gonna make a comeback after this mortal combat thing comes out and is super successful. Were able to come back out and do something I will be looking forward to like a dark style. Streetfighter like we're serious angry moody street you saying like. I don't want that. What i would like is if like now remember Like came out two years ago. And i think that i was an effective way to hit all of the gaming stuff and i think if they try to go for something. That is inaction comedy genre. Do really good action with it. It can work it could be effective And i think. I don't need any more dark and brooding i don't need galvao like looking like goku black and shit. I don't need that Yeah we don't want that. I think And i guess what would you rate streetfighter. How many do would you get it. So i'm giving it tiger shots. And i'm gonna give it three tiger shots project. I didn't get into movie But yeah i liked the movie a lot In a movie that. I've seen a lot. And i remember it in. I think in looking at it as a kid. There's things in there. That like. I said you to turn out and i wasn't really vest am big into the game and nolan does outside of. I'm playing this game. This is the guy i play with in for me in the nineties guy was my guy so i would have liked to have seen us on boom one but I got to flash kicks. I can't complain about it too much. I mean if you were to choose. Side wound more flash. You are happy with flash chick. I'm happy with the flash greg if they had a little flourish. That's all you want. I'm just surprised that the movie got may all production issues. They had so they wanted to do a helicopter. Seen the big water saying that happened. That was supposedly helicopter scene. And the thai government said no aircraft. So that's why they literally said it in the movie. We cannot strike this place bhai air. We have to go by water so they hit you attribute. Cgi to make the boat look visible because they couldn't shoot end helicopter scene. That's crazy so they had so many production issues. I'm dislike is a testament of getting that movie done and putting something that albeit it's you can see as you get older their gaps. They're like all the fighting styles. The same punch punch tried to a special move punch But at a point the bison light troopers became lake cobra troopers at one point to me like gi. Joe let's shoot everything and miss everything but you know what their costumes a fire though. Because yeah they were. I think i think the only costume. That didn't quite work as well. Actually scott just the way. This guy was present. It wasn't good patch was there also is a funny line when when bison was like oh you didn't see that nico at one of his is because he's like they snuck into your group. I guess you didn't see that. I was like wow yes so any final thoughts and feel free. Please please please shut your website. Thank you again for coming on. Any final thoughts shuttle copa media. What do you got definitely check us out on. Coakley media dot com. Check us out We recently had a show with me with me and demo in our significant discussing Our love for lovecraft country. And you know that was good. We got some good in us. Good info there for you and we're going to be getting up with some other folks and doing some other shows to be talking about this whole. Ps fivers xbox thing coming out you know what i'm saying. Which one is the best one. Get so yeah. You guys specialize in the blurred in a geek culture. Just because i don't know when this episode is going to come out and you know so so you guys specialize in yup absolutely you guys specialize in like kind of that news. You're a resource for that. Where can they find you yet. You can definitely find us on dc radio ninety six point three four We will working with them for a while. They're still there. They're still playing us every morning at nine. Am saturday morning kellyanne. You can find this there on their station. And i say the best way that you can catch us on facebook or instagram website. I'm always watching. The other guys are always watching it. Were gang you know what i'm saying. We're like the ace satnav. Well except for together well in the website one more time or what have you just because everything is there yet. Everything is there. You can find everything. Www dot co play media. Not cold play. But i do enjoy their music but co play media at copa media aca so again thank you for coming on and this has been a treat as been a lot of fun. Going back through and unpacking One thousand nine hundred streetfighter which is in his twenty six th anniversary so for d. coldplay media. I'm really from npr podcast and this has been. Let's watch it again with the do what.

Claude van damme john Diablo donuts rob league catherine kittens rob lee honda Bonna Ken Colonel guile dictator m bison ryan julia gomez addams capcom john claude julia stephen susan van damme
Belgium (or "Chocolate and Beer and Frites, Oh My!")

Practical Wanderlust

1:01:41 hr | 1 year ago

Belgium (or "Chocolate and Beer and Frites, Oh My!")

"Ah What. Swan or Swan. Would I be Ginger Swan Ginger Swan I. Don't know we duckling ginger. You're calling me the ugly duckling. All year lengthened cast over divorce. Really and Jeremy where the accident prone travelers behind tactical on your less and we're here to dish out travel tips, tricks, useful trivia, useless trivia, mildly entertaining anecdotes and everything else. You need to avoid making all of our terrible terrible, terrible terrible terrible mistakes and we make a lot of mistakes. On this episode we're going to talk about a country that is now one of our favorites, but completely surprised. Prize does I honestly did not think we were GONNA like Belgium all that much okay? We're talking about Belgium. Gave it spoilers. We're talking about Belgium today. Thirty seconds spoilers, so the story of how we got to Belgium is kind of a long one that we're going to get in and a future episode. Six months six. Basically, we were honeymooning six months long story short. We'll tell you later, so we're GONNA skip. Basically to Jim, we decided to go to Belgium now because of like any particular knowledge that we had about Belgium, but mostly because we found a really cheap flights to Copenhagen. And when we looked on a map, Belgium was Kinda close Copenhagen. You know what scope and we're GonNa have the worst pronunciation those episode I want to just warn everybody. I only speak Spanish. I do not speak any other language that only one I only speak English and also Spanish and that's the only one. Can you do your excellent we? Five anyway. We're not speaking friends this that. We did want to go to France though in Belgium was right in between our to stop so France and the Netherlands, so that was really the reason and everybody that. Makes, sense everyone that we talked to about. Our trip had the same exact reaction really? We like our going to Copenhagen and then dom. And then a bunch of other places, and then Belgium and they were like oh! Okay how long you stop it in Belgian for two weeks and everybody was like. Oh! We didn't know why because everything that we knew about Belgium to. That point was food related, which is generally a very good sign for us. Let me hit you with our list of prior knowledge of Belgium. Fries beer chocolate waffles period. No, no, there's also Jean. Claude van Damme. John Claude Van Damme. I actually I would wager a guess that that is the American pronunciation. Birmingham somebody will have to Dallas Joe Glad Vandam. I would guess that's actually probably closer. The muscles from Brussels yeah the other thing that we knew about I'm not being fair to. Belgium is that I had heard of Belgium because of the movie in Bruges. Belgium before in. Roy heard more information about Belgium. Okay, so your entire knowledge about an entire country was based off of a Crime Caper movie starring Colin Farrell. Web I also knew about John. Claude van Damme. And fries beer chocolate waffles. Yeah, so we weren't going into this trip with a lot of prior knowledge here. I will also say that in Bruges. It is a brilliant movie that you should watch, but they also kind of make fun of Belgium a lot. I actually was watched it. Maybe it's because so you made me watch it right because you were like. Oh, we have to spend Christmas in Bruges because I. Want to say that I spent Christmas in Bruges. And you kept being like Indonesia and I was like what the fuck is. And so you maybe watch the movie and it's actually. I thought I, did a really good job of making you want to travel to Belgium like they romanticize the city. The entire time like one guy keeps making fun of it, but by the end of the movie, Everybody's on board that it's a lovely city and a wonderful place to go, and also it's a very body. slapstick sort of crime comedy and there's a there's a lot of capers unrelated to how lovely bridges yeah, there's a lot more blood than we saw it crime movie. It's a really weird funny movie. I would recommend it. I would especially recommended if you've decided to go to brush, although those four treats, were the main bits of knowledge that we knew there's a reason for treats plus embassy. Ish. Okay less John Claude van Damme well. There's a reason that those those four edible things. John Claude van. Damme is edible if you're talking about cannibalism. There's a reason why you think fries, beer, chocolate and waffles when you think of Belgian because they're delicious, we are the best of those four things you can find anywhere that me. That's a good way of they are literally the best like you aren't going to find better fries better. Chocolate better waffles better, Jong. Van Damme anywhere else. We'll start with the chocolate, so this is the kind of a fun little history fact. So edible chocolate actually came from South America. We thought it was nifty because we came from south. America right before we went to Europe and actually originated from the Mayans. Who made this really disgusting Super Bitter Chocolate Drink? That's kind of like watery chocolate tea with no sugar. Whatsoever we did. Try It in Peru and it was super gross. Gross sometimes it's spicy, and that doesn't help but the. Doors. kind of like taking a break from just ransacking the shit out of South America added some sugar to it, and it was really good, and they sent it back to Europe and the Europeans were like. On not too bad, that's not a European accent. Then there was this pharmacist name newhouse who came up with a way to make chocolate solidify. He then used his new invention in the most unappealing way possible. As a way to take pills like he was a pharmacist, and so he made chocolate hills, which just seems like? Waste of creative talent and delicious chocolate like that's just depressing will say like stepping back. That's a pretty smart way to get your kids to take your pills. Because at the time pills were made from of just like suckling, and just like mouldy old. Just rolled around on the floor. It was just disgusting like all medication was horrible. Most of it was made from worms. None of that is accurate or fact check, so don't quote me on that, but it was gross and Chaka's was definitely a step up so after his disappointingly boring initial contribution to the evolution of chocolate Neuhaus eventually through his pharmacist lab coat away and got back to furiously inventing things with chocolate. Eventually, he invented the praline. Yeah! Yeah he liked through back on his pharmacist lab coat and realized that there were more exciting things to do with chocolate than just hills, and he invented the praline. which so I know that like in America. There's that's kind of like a crunchy chocolate thing, but in Belgium, a praline just describes a filled chocolate and I much prefer the Belgian version, and then his wife came up with the idea of a chocolate gift box. Isn't that swing it? It's like if you invented something and then I was like here. Honey designs you this bag to put it in. Could you do that all the time I? Make a batch of cookies for my kids and you're like. How can we like? Bring it in on a parade float. Actually I think what I did. was I said Hey I, don't I feel really guilty about throwing out this plastic bottle of Collagen powder that I used up. What if we put the cookies in that which is nowhere near? Near as exciting, romantic, so true story that is exactly accurate and that Collagen is I think I'm gonNA use it as a planter actually Hashtag zero waste. So why are the fries so good because they fry them in beef fat, do like there is no other way to make fries I'm sorry vegetarians like I'm sorry I'm sorry in and out I'm sorry, everybody. They are definitely better fried and beef fat. They're double, fried and be fed. Oh, that's right. Yeah, they are freaking. They'll militias and then. They pair them with muscles, which sounds super weird, but it's like the Belgian version of fish and chips, except for the muscles fried there like an delicious the sort of bath thing. Are you talking about John? Claude van Damme again I'm talking about. Oh Yeah. It's like you know it's UH broth. That's the word I was looking for soup. Thing Roth. Yes, we go on and on about the beer, but that's coming late at the episode. And then there's the waffles. There's two different kinds of Belgian waffles. There's Belgian waffles and Liege waffles Belgian. Waffles are fluffier and later and leash. Waffles are heavier and more dense with these like crunchy little. Nuggets of sugar woven into the dough, but they're both freaking delicious. I would take any of them any day of the week. I feel like I prefer leauge. Yeah, I did too I. Like I like a little bit of crunch in my heavy sugary Waffles, and you don't need to put anything on them, but if you do, it should be Sour Cherries because that's also a Belgian thing. God I love Belgian food. I know we need to go back, so our plan for Belgian was. We're GONNA start in British. See I told you you can't say it without doing the Colin Farrell I mean, he says in Bruges the whole time. Yeah, there's a lot of cursing. It's pretty. Do we need to believe that it's an are in fixing. LET'S TRY IT AND That's. The whole time anyway, we were starting in Enbridge. And we wanted to celebrate Christmas there. We were GONNA stop over in Antwerp, and then we're going to go on to the big city. Brussels and we were GONNA do New Year's Eve in Brussels so how to go. Bruges was fucking magic. It's so freaking adorable. It's so freaking cute, you guys. It's covered in canals like the way the Amsterdam is covering canals except for there's just like boats running around and swans, and it's just so cute. They're swans everywhere. There's a big town square. There's the uncle of us through burke. You can't just assume everybody's seen the movie honey. They have to watch the movie. If a listener has watched that movie then they totally get that reference and they really appreciated that okay. Can you explain about the? So, there's a park and they have alcoves. I see now why? That is not actually as funny as it wasn't the movie anyway. There's also shops Galore. All the cutest shops ever they're all like lease shops and antique shops like there's like fifty three lays shops, and you can just skip hand in hand into a little, a shop and buy some embroidered family lace and doilies shed, and it's just the cutest. Because we're not that adorable personally, but the idea that you can I really loved, and we talked about really nice walk in mine. Waterpark, many water or mini waterpark how we are butchering every single word to be fair Belgium has like four languages that they together. That's true to a little bit later. I'M GONNA. Go with many water because it's cuter. The lovers bridge. Do you remember the Lake of love story? Nobody? Why do I feel like it's going to involve death? It does involve. That is so sweet, so basically there is this young girl and she had this romantic tryst with some fuck boy. I'm assuming. And her. Dad, because at the time like that's who controls a woman's agency. Anyway. Her Dad was like no. He's a fucked boy and she was like. No, he's actually really nice. He treats me so well. You don't understand and her dad like ran this dude at a town and she went and chased after him. And I'm pretty sure. She died it. Don't remember the details, but it was awful, and now she haunts the leverage bridge. Didn't they like? Jump off the bridge. Something like that. Some stupid ass, teenage love thing, but it's love. Yeah, real romantic, but the point is if you walk across the levers bridge and don't chase after effect waiting. Kill Yourself. You're supposed to have like a like a love blessing, speaking of love blessing can. Can we talk about that? Hot Chocolate High? T that we had oh my, God. That was for me like that's my love story in British. That's your love language. Yeah, okay, because I love high tea like every year on my birthday since I was like probably, and I was living Elliot's life in the plaza with my mom, she took me to the plaza when I was eating. It was the best. Louise Life I'm still always I really am anyway. I love high tea and we do every year for my birthday. Jeremy Actually makes me a little scones every year and he makes little sandwiches. Cut The crusts off and it's a really. You're giving me the luck. I know I'm Romanticizing, but the point is. The old chocolate house is like it's like high tea, but make it chocolate. Yeah, they serve you piping hot milk, and then they give you a bunch of like chocolate, shavings and marshmallows. A chocolate cup filled with chocolate. Chocolate possible and you can order different kinds of chocolate because Belgium, and they're all like seventy five percent Ecuadorian single origin like do booze, you chocolate your love, and then you melted into this giant bowl of hot milk, and just drink it with. There's also like a three tiered thing of like little Belgian cookies and like God. It's just. It's everything's Lace and you hit a heart shaped waffle on my God guys. It's the best and so you might be thinking so when you go to bruises chocolate. Yes, it's chocolate, chocolate, lace and swans. That's but the best place to get chocolate other than the chocolate house is the bridal straght. Them it rattles. Brutal Strut now. Now's ones the German word. Threats. That dropped. Slots. I feel like it's getting worse. Your quarter German husband is screaming. There's two as and you're Mexican. You don't get. Sherman card. Just because there's a German word I absolutely do ask anybody okay, all right Bro- strong so on the bridal strut. Whatever you're gonNA find a whole bunch of amazing chocolate shops in our favorites in no particular order are the chocolate line Dumont be by Steffes, Chocolatier and Olivier's. And you can kind of go around like a little bag and just fill it up. Truffles pralines. Oh, my God, it's the best I would honestly the first time I saw I thought its oleanders and I got really excited. That would be exciting chocolate one. Yeah, they didn't have that. We're talking about beer. Yeah, there's so much could be Andrews. So there's a brewery called. D Hoffman Wow. WHO's butchering words now we are the. Travel podcast, and we didn't even bother to look at pronunciation. We are the worst I feel like we're. You're giving us way less credit than we deserve. It's Hoffman. Because it's about a half. Man Did just because it looks like that's an easy one their their logo. Their logo. Is Yes. Strut in German is street Nossa is straightened Germans. Like with like the to the Weird S. God I hope nobody listening to this isn't American. It's GonNa be really embarrassing. Anyway the half man. Is An awesome brewery in Belgium. That's really good. Beer. And you can watch the you can watch the kettles as their brewing it and they have a fire that you can sit by, and they had that weird statue out front member that weird statue of the half man, yeah I remember that, and he's just like really drunk I think. He liked taking off all his clothes and like just having fun carriage ride, are you? Are You thinking of our wedding? No. It's The statue out. Front. There's also degar which is another brewery in town, but I really love cameras I got went there my first night there without because you're really sleepy. Yeah! I was like I. Don't remember them. Just go ahead, so it's a it's a bar that's got incredibly extensive beer list I think it took me like thirty minutes to figure out what I wanted to drink, and they keep a bunch of snacks rolling, and then they have traditional. Belgium meets that they serve. It was a good time. That's nice free. Frio. That you know like a little mandate with yourself to on a little meantime, nice I think that was actually probably the most time that we spend apart our entire year long honeymoon. Gross. Loved, it wow I'm just kidding. Okay, there's also the Burgh Central Plaza. Where they had the basilica of the holy blood, where supposedly we didn't actually go inside ourselves to verify because it sounded gross, but supposedly there's a vial of Jesus's blood. I bet it's dried at this point I don't know. Probably just drink it. You know, but apparently yeah. They have a vial of Jesus's blood that you can check out, or you can't touch the blood or anything, but people pray over it, and it's pretty metal. It's one of the more metal things in Bruges. Probably the only metal thing in Bruges, everything else is like lace and swans and chocolate and stow offals, oh, my God I. Love Fruit We went during Christmas time, and so there's this ice rink in the middle of the of the Market Square. Yeah, and that's where the Christmas market was too, and then so we were hanging out of the Christmas market like just eating our way through every single stan and we're watching like all these little kids on the ice skating rink and they had little sleds like they like. They're holding onto little sled shares in just like skating around and. And it was just the frigging cutest thing like the belfry tower, just looming right behind them Oh. My God it was so cute and Leah's deathly afraid of ice skating, so she really wanted to grab one of those kids chairs so that she could go ice skating. I'm deathly afraid. It's that incredibly logical, and I know my own personal limitations I would definitely like severely injure myself savvy. Don't have adult size which I am very. You know in Norway they have sleds. That like you step onto them and you just push off and it's exactly like that, and it got to use one in Norway. This is another story unrelated another episode. Episode about me. sledding in Norway I really loved watching. All of the little carriages go around the market. Square Oh. My God, Babe! Do you remember the Pug I do? Remember the Pug. Okay, so they're not just a pug. Puppy and it was wearing a little Santa Costume and it was the cutest fucking. Shit I have ever seen in my life. He was like driving the carriage like such a good boy, his face like he just looked like the crankiest little, grumble mafia, and he was like. Why am I in a Santa? Costume I hate this, but it was so cute and he was loved. He was so happy, because then his owner came back and he was really happy. You guys like ninety percent of our best memories Bruges where that Pug I'm gonNA. Be Honest, the PUG and the chocolate. Yeah, but we will definitely be staying in a different place because I really enjoy the place where we stayed fucking Airbnb yes, it was actually like a nice airbnb like it was really well located. It was just like just nearby everything walking distance to the market, really well located, and we were really excited because I had a little kitchen and we were going to do like Christmas dinner with ourselves. We're sharing it with like four other people because we were broke off, and actually this was a splurge from us, because we'd only been doing hostels up until this point, so the fact that we had a private room and there were only like five other people in the apartment was really exciting time we wanted to ball for Christmas. You know it turns out that the entire AIRBNB was really this guy's office. No idea what he does, but he lives a couple of doors down and the first sign of problems. Was I think our first tonight or something? We were cooking. And we broke a bottle of warchest. Show your however you say that sauce Wurster Wester Sauce. It is not worcester sauce. There's like forty seven letters in this word like forty-seven towns in England named Worcester, and also one in Massachusetts supposed to believe Massachusetts that one I now I was born in Massachusetts Worcester. You can say like Worcester if that makes you feel about. Dad always called it Worchester us. That's not. Accurate not at straight. worchester sauce now. Okay now anyway, so we had to call him over after we broke the bottle. But. They were like super cool about it, and they were like a I'm pretty fucking clumsy. The IRA should all the time on. Usually, it's not in somebody else's kitchen, but gave the guy came over, and he was really he was like. Oh, it's fine. It's cool. It's no problem. Hindsight. He was probably like these. fucking America was yeah. He definitely already hated us. So then it's like Christmas Eve, and we've gone like this really cute little. Butcher and we've gotten pork belly I think we looked up like the name for an advanced. Don't remember and we were GonNa GonNa Cook it. The Danish way rate. With fruit and all spice, and all this really great stuff that we had to shop for for that specific meal. Yes, cooked are really amazing Christmas dinner and it was super romantic and we were like. Oh, Christmas while great, and then this dude comes home. Let like two in the morning in the morning. Just like Hi-fi out as shit, just scream in his fucking head off pounding on our door. Christmas. And we're like what what's what's up like did what's going on there? Fire? Here's his first grievance. The House smells like Bacon because first of all. You're welcome, yeah? No it didn't. The kitchen smelled kind of bacon because we made like delicious Danish pork belly for Christmas dinner. Why are you here at two in the morning on Christmas before the Delicious Bacon? Smell has a chance to air out and the second problem that he had was that there was a stain on his coach, which was definitely there when we arrived. I remember looking at it and being like Oh, but also you get what you pay for, and it was a cheap place, but also his evidence circumstantial at best. I. One of the guests was a doctor. and. He said there's no way it could have been them because he's a doctor. That was the whole argument. Like congratulations, but like doctors spill shit, too. Because we you know broke entire bottle of with juster sauce teammate now I can't say it, either so just because he has more schooling doesn't mean that he doesn't have the ability spill something on the couch. Your Dad for instance Super Smart Successful respect to the hell out of him, and I see him spill something on every piece of furniture he sits on. That's true. That's where I got it. That makes so much sense now and the other person just happened to be this guy's friend and I love my friends but I know which stains on our couch are from us and which are from our friends. Can just feel my eyes just glare and now I mean we're getting rid of that couch soon anyway so. But the point is it wasn't us it wasn't it really wasn't we sat on? That couch exactly hunts. and. We didn't have anything to eat or drink on it. And then he like when on this whole rampage on Airbnb, he left us nasty review, and then we like had to like nasty. Review him back, and then I had to appeal to AIRBNB and be like I don't want to pay for this dude ruining Christmas because we spent like the actual day of Christmas. We were just sad and depressed and afraid of getting near the couch, and ruined the day of Christmas for us to Airbnb as credit they responded with essentially. What was you'll fuck that Guy and then refunded? They helped us out and we were in Bruges. Sat in our AIRBNB, but then we stepped outside, and it was magical swan land with Christmas markets and amazing beer, and like awesome waffles and chocolate audits vast. SHITTY WAY TO WAKE UP ON CHRISTMAS! Yeah, whatever that was literally the only negative that we have about Bruce and it's super avoidable. Just don't stay at that specific Airbnb with that specific guy. I really hope that he doesn't actually host on AIRBNB. So next Antwerp. Yeah, and trump is great. We arrived and we were just like Holy Shit because the the Antwerp central station like the train station. Where you arrive, it's supposed to be like the most beautiful train station. The world it's straight up just looks like like hogwarts magic land. It really does it's beautiful. You say that most translations near looks like Hogwarts, and I will I will corroborate that this one does. This is a special hogwarts. Do you know that is an actual train station in London? Though this is better than that train station I'm going to say it, it's it's better than hogwarts. Are you talking about king's cross or hogwarts? Kings? It was filmed in kings crossed cross. It was filmed in kings cross. Yes, the train station is cool and all, but can we talk about Billy's Beer Cafeteria Aka the best meal that we had an Antwerp and also probably our entire honeymoon. So that is honestly like if you're GONNA go to Antwerp that's that's the only thing that I would suggest doing. That's the only thing that I. Remember that we did. That was the best thing, so billy's is a like. It's as beer cafeteria, and they have like dozens and dozens of beers that. That you can choose from, and they rotate all the time, and they have such amazing food, but it's like this little hole in the wall bar. You'd never assume owned by a dog. A dog is owned by a French bulldog name billy cute. If you go to their facebook page, his picture of him and he's in the logo. He's Qisas us. The pug and the Santa Costume and bruised, but he's real cute rumor. Has that billy like literally is the owner. They registered it in his name, yeah. My favorite thing I mean that was discovered the Rosenbach. Two Thousand Fourteen, which is one of my favorite Belgian Beers, also one of the only appears that I. know by name which impressive. But my favorite thing there was that fricken Sour Cherry casserole. Beef and Sour Cherries and potatoes and she's like. Testing the food that you'd make lake late at night when you're high, but it's so good thought you liked by surprise. Oh, honey, just because we live in California all right. It was really good I think we wanted seconds, even though we were like bursting at the seams, all my God. Yes, definitely, go to answer just to go there and if you do go, stay at compass hostile. That's where we stayed, and it was really frigging. Q.. Yeah, they had chickens that you named daisy. Daisy and Petunia directly I'm I. Yeah, so. That was the first hostile that we ever worked with. Because at the time, our blog was a mere six months old, so I was really excited when they agreed to host for like three days like we saved a whole hundred dollars, I was over the moon and so I, had this whole feature on our blog post about these adorable chickens named daisy and Petunia, and when I sent to the the very nice owner, he assured me. Me That that was not their name. They are not named that, but I don't think he named them on my blog post. They are definitely called daisy, and Petunia and I'm standing by. That's what they looked like so it's a converted house so it has that really homey social feel which sometimes it's really irritating in a hostile especially if you feel the need to, but for some reason. Cosso laid back and maybe that's just like the Belgian way. It was really like they small. Small hostile, though because we didn't have that in Oslo, said it in Brussels, it was teeny, tiny, little kitchen for everybody to cook in one table for everybody to sit at, and so you end up with these cool family, sil- of meals where everybody's just like sitting around the table and chatting about where they've come from, and like just drinking and hanging out, and honestly like that's what I love about hostels, vibes like that in this hostile had it when I loved it chill. Mary ooh, okay, cats California's stereotype number two and three minutes. Just so you know. The owners are really cool. They were like backpackers and we like chatted about backing through South America. which made us feel really cool. Because we had just on that, and it was the first time that we had that credit to brag about well, there was the whole reason you opened the hostile. Yeah, because backpackers hostels, I want to open a hostile true hashtag goals, but yeah, it's also like a green hostile echo certified. In the walls Tan odd stop. Stop I'm not laughing. It's not a funny joke. Somebody's laughing now the point is. Awesome the only downside is it's a little bit far away from the town centre, so we had to like walk like or take a bus. It's like a twenty minute walk to billy's. And that's all that matters all the matters, but the rest of the was cool. We did spend a day exploring. And eating, we went to the Christmas market the Chris Ahead like a really unique feature. It was on the water, and they had like a waterfront carnival, which is new. That was cool and we had you remember. The like liquor filled hand cookies elixir. Yes, it's called Elixir Denver's. Yes, it's an Antwerp liqueur. You can only get it actually I. Don't know if that's true, but anyway it's antibes specialty. Definitely. Get it in Antwerp. It's essentially like the taste is like an absent cream. Yeah, inside of a chocolate sounds gross. Well, you can get it just in drinks and cocktails, but we had it inside of a chocolate shaped like a hand, because that is the symbol of Antwerp, and this is actually an interesting little like and torpey in fact with it. So the legend goes, there is a giant called drew on anti gone and guarded the river. Scheldt in Antwerp got all those words are. GonNa, be super wrong anyway, so sealers would go down the river. And if they refused to pay the giants toll, he would chop off one of their hands so one day a brave Roman soldier, battled and killed the giant, and then he chopped off the giant's hand, and like shouted full Q. Motherfucker, and through his hand in the river, and that's where the Dutch term because at the time Belgian, Dutch. The Dutch term for that is handwork, which is throw a hand, and eventually through mispronunciations from assholes like me. Handwork became entered been which became Antwerp and that's how you got the hand as a symbol of Antwerp, so the famous intra pans, biscuits have existed since one thousand, nine, hundred, eighty four, so somebody had like a competition to create the culinary speciality for Antwerp and I have no idea why sour cherry she's casseroles didn't win, but the hand shaped almond cookies did win because almond cookies are the best they are. Are really good and today. They actually have a chocolate. Probably Inversion, which is filled with Marzipan and Elixir, and that's what we had so yeah. The Elixir is this botanical. That tastes like licorice. If you're familiar with like the taste of Absinthe, and so it's that with Marzipan covered in chocolate. It's amazing. It actually is like super frigging delicious. Like I was I was a little skeptical its. It's bomb because. Is Bomb. You don't really like the taste of absence liquor, and what he likes the taste of absent. You drink it because it makes you see things okay Moulin Rouge. It's true. It's just tastes like licorice. It's good. Just that's just go to Antwerp in. Eat casserole and have a have a hand. I say we haven't talked about this yet. But Belgium was the first place that I realized that fucking love Marzipan. Well so good. Thing in the states, it's like a very European thing, and I don't know why is it's fucking delicious? I know in the states. We choose like font. Gross Marzipan, yeah, definitely. So after we moved to the big city battles Brussels Brussels is fine, because so the kind of my head, the picture of Brussels that I see is the grand place, and it is so Russell's. It's like the main square. It's very grand. It is the most grand. Every single side of the grand place is more grand than the other sides, and that is how the architecture came to be. You know it's actually by design so. So I'm bit of architecture, so while in the grand, plus you can kind of see all of Belgian history, so there's a reason why Belgium uses four languages. They've always been at the mercy of Europe's larger monarchy's, and their passed back and forth play thing that nobody really wants to share, so they've been conquered by the Netherlands by France by Spain Austria. Even Luxembourg got in the action, which is really not one of the monarchies. Monarchies just I don't know how that happened. It was a weird time so eventually Belgium won its independence in the eighteen thirties, and since given everyone the finger by making Brussels, the capital of both NATO and the EU, and there is this whole problematic thing with King Leopold and colonization, and we won't get into that here. It was a dark time, but the point is Belgian how to come up and that's why there are like. Like fifty seven different kinds of buildings, all fighting for the most fabulous building award in one single square, the GRANDPA's yeah, like every single kind of architecture is represented there. You look around, and it's like this site is Gothic, and then this side over here is. Do you really only know Gothic? Only no Gothic I was hoping you would just jump in Rococo. Romanneh's. There's I think Moroccan in there somewhere now. No, no Luxembourg, Morocco. But basically if you stand in the middle of GRANDPA's and just do like a three sixty. You're going to see pretty much every. Architectural type from like the fifteen hundreds onto eighteen thirties, which is cool if you're an architecture nerd, but what I thought was fascinating. Is that sometimes one half of the building didn't match up to the other half of the building like I, think like the king switched midway through, and just like had the old architects beheaded, and just like brought in his new architect, and the new architect was just like. I don't know what to do with these windows, so we're just going to put a wall here and you wouldn't. Wouldn't even like really notice, but we had a guide and they're pointing everything out, and it's it's real wacky. One of the coolest thing about things about gothic architecture is, it's not just the it's not just the pointed arches, but it's also just the symmetry through everything, but if you stand right in the middle of the GOTHIC building of the grand, plus it looks like somebody just tried to draw one half of it to imitate it. There's like different sized windows. Their the columns just end all of a sudden. It's kind of like you know that place near us like in San Jose, where that woman was told that if she just kept building things, that ghost wouldn't get her winchester mystery. US Yeah, it's like the winchester mystery house, but gothic architecture is dope. It's pretty metal. It's pretty awesome, so grand place is gorgeous. It's like just not. In every way. And something else. That was really cool that we like notice when we were there is that there's all these different street signs like every street in Brussels has two different signs, because there's like the fancy name from like the French French were in charge. And then there's just like the Sassy name from Lake when the judge were in charge like for example, there's. There's like the Kings May as all, and then later on, they renamed the exact same building the bread house because some Dutch people came along, and they were like the king didn't live here. This was just some dude selling bread, so we're GONNA call it the bread house because we're Dutch and everything has like five names. adding that's really cool. Yeah, there's like. And it's like the judge version is long street Yeah, yeah, accurate, but that was really cool. So Brussels is just like a cool like melting pot of all these different cultures. and. We're talking about architecture. My favorite in Brussels is not which Brussels is the birthplace of art nouveau. Fun fact, thanks Belgium. You're pretty Rad again. We talk about some fucking beer. Yes, okay, yeah, sorry, too much architecture, not enough beer. Art Teacher over here. Saying we're beer, let's. Let's talk about the history of Beer. Just so he can nerd out about it. Okay, so when you think of a brewer, you probably think somebody in flannel with a beard, and like a tiny little beanie. WHO's always talking about hops and you're saying hotter describing yourself, you just described. You never talked about hops. Are you kidding me, but if we're really talking the true brewer. It's a monk monk's the Oj brewers facts so long ago, it was rare to be literate and monks were able to read and write, which allowed them to create recipes, and pass them down, and like right the Bible, or read the Bible or they were doing nobody case beer vessel monks were able to do. They were able to practice writing down recipes for beer and nobody else could do it. So monks didn't originate in Belgium. They came to Belgium, because they were seeking persecution and Belgium has long been a safe haven for those seeking persecution because. There's a new king so like if you're fleeing your king, just go to Belgium, wait for five years. There's a new king. You're good rate, so monks came to Belgian seeking persecution to. And they brought with them all of these recipes that they developed for beer fleeing persecution. That's what I sat should seeking. That's very different, very different message no! Not what they were. Seeking. Anyway, so all these like a hipster ass like flannel, wearing monks flew to Belgium and at the time. Yeah? Robes or flannel, little monk with a flannel robe like writing your writing a fix. What's sick? Sour Cherries and beer he's got. He's got his little bald spot and the top of his head, but it's like a tattoo of like a spiderweb, and he's allegheny, but there's like a circle cut out of the top versatile bald spot. It's the God whole whatever they whatever the point of that. God hold. Waiver God to get his message to. You Come Holy Not Tags I. Bet Somebody did. It's definitely not true. Whole. That's also a really title for a metal band from Belgium the God whole Brown Internet. Is that metal to you. That sounded like that sounded like bluegrass. Hill. The back of the day. You couldn't actually like drink water. Kill you? You would just get some sort of horrible. Colorado new just die right so water was super unsafe, but here in it yet. Beers good beers fine bureau day. You're fine, feeling. Good hydrated. Happy, you know. Even kids will drink beer. They would water it down kind of like a bud light, and just give it to kids, so there is an adult beer and like kid beer and nobody died, and it was great so eventually people just kind of made this link between like monks like drinking beer, not dying and divinity and boom. That's why Beers holy. So, if you're a fan of beer, you've definitely heard of the term a trappist. Hopefully, hopefully there are eleven trappist breweries in the entire world and Belgium has six and I don't even care what the other ones are. Because Belgians are the best, so the trap is number one is that a beer is not a trappist beer unless it is brewed inside a working monastery, and it can't just be like a monastery front like it can't just be a bunch of people like dressed up like monks because it's cool looking. They actually have to be like doing monthly things. They call that a trap ish stop. It's actually a trap. Like a tourist trap, get it babe like a tourist Trappist mine was. Mine was so much better. So Travis Beers. So. But do you get? All Trappist beer prophets must return directly to the monastery or be donated to charity any. Yeah, that's why nobody's starting like actual monasteries to make beer like nobody's like eighty. We're an American Trappist monastery beer. Like his style because they don't actually want to donate all of their money to charity. Because that's no fun, it's only a monk. In which case making beer is its own reward. They don't need the money. They're not in it for the money. They're not outs beer and social responsibility. It's Great Combo that is a great Hambo those all a bunch of like weird rules about Belgian beer like you can't just like you know, crack, open a cold wine in Belgium in fact. If you did you make kicked out of the bar, crooked cold one with the boys you can't. You can't do it. I'm not getting. Steve. All right anyway. You can't do it in Belgium. So first of all they have like nine step ridiculous. Pouring process called the Belgian pouring ritual, and they're all sort of like vaguely religious in its purpose. When you because monks, yeah, when you sort of like, wipe the foam off the top of the glass. It's called the beheading. Yeah, and you have to have like a solid two fingers of foam. So if you're ever here trying to like port on the side of your glass that you don't get foam, you're an idiot. That's not how you do it in Belgium in Belgium. The foamy head protects the beer from the air and keeps it going flat and Stale, so you have fizzy beer until the very last sip foam is the best. Dip The of the glass and water to wash off the suds, and they call it the baptism. It's a whole. It's a whole thing. You also don't want to have Belgian beer from a tap. It's actually when it's in the bottle because. It's still in brewing in the bottle like a super unfiltered. It's still got the yeast in there and when you crack open the bottle, it's still all fizzy. You don't WanNa have it like in a tap where all the has died. That's still fermenting until the moment you drink it right, and you also don't want to have it cold you WanNa have slightly below room temperature, and that's really kind of like a taste thing. Like the warmer it gets the more complexities you unlock, the other really cool thing about Belgian beer is that when you brew beer in Belgium? You also have to come up with its own special glass, and the glasses sort of like a marketing ploy. It is like it's it's used for advertisement like you're not gonna see like a Trappist billboard rate. They use the actual glass for advertisement Yelich, like we saw one that looked like a horn, and it wasn't the best. Best Beer but it was a really cool looking glass, and I wanted to order Casaus. Somebody else and I was like I'll have what he's having. Please thank you I would like to drink out of a glass horn. Please and the best one. I think quack, quack, quack, beer is served in this weird chemistry lab. Looking glass thing comes in like a weird looking wooden frame, and it looks bomb. It looks like a beaker is the word you're looking for A. Chemistry lab. Look thing. Yes, speaker correct during. The point is the reason why it looks like that is because the guy who invented quack beer. Made that stand for beer so that he could hold it and drive his carriage drunk without spilling his beer, which I called genius, so it's very unsafe, strong driving proof, but why would you want that? To me, though like that is the definition of Belgium right there. Just you know necessity is the mother of bad inventions, but like that's awesome. You know so. You can't talk about Belgian beer without talking about the literal King of Beers, I know that some like coors or Budweiser. Beer's, this is rated the best beer on the entire planet and has been since Nineteen ninety-six. That's true and it is veteran. Twelve spelled West veteran, but pronounced vest veteran twelve. Off. When you buy this. Of course, it's a bottle because Belgium, but it's an unlabeled bottle. It's just a glass bottle. You've got to be in the know you gotTa. Know somebody who knows somebody who told you you gotta get better and twelve vessel. It's fluttering. It's not that hard anyway. If somebody just like POPs out from like an alley where a puppet costume and tells you to like, try this unmarked spear. Try It. Unless you're not in Belgium, that would be weird anywhere else in the world, so you can get it at different bars. But if you want to get some from the monastery, it's a whole thing, so you have to make a reservation months in advance, and you get to options for your orders, none or two cases. Leave a lot of suitcase room like two suitcases yet. Just for your beer, you can also pay a huge upcharges. Places in Belgium that serve it, so it's really expensive issue just like order at a bar or buy it at like a store. Would you can? You can find it in stories around Brussels, and it's like about twenty euros, but it's honestly all it's worth the hype. It's a quad, so if you guys are familiar with that, it means it's a very strong Belgian beer. We won't get into the science of quads. Strong hell dark. It smells like figs and raisins, and it kind of tastes like wine, soaked figs, but then like as you're drinking, and it changes, and then it's like. Like would and then it's like earthy yeast, and then it's like marshmallow, and then it's like Bourbon and I know I sound like such an Asshole, but like just sit there and just sip it for like an hour and like you. You can't taste the nuances there literally. They're not even that nuanced. They're just literally every drink. Like every time we took a it tasted differently, and we are not that good tasting tasting notes, but this was just new magic. Every time he lifted that we sat there for an hour being like Oh. Yes, the essences marshmallow now it's burnt marshmallow. On that last note, it was the do she's thing, but like y'all we were converted like I was hooked that actually that made me a beer person, but only Belgian beer I don't drink any other beer. You are so insufferable with beer now because you had the world's greatest beer and you're like you're just. You're just waking scratch that it I can't have anything else. It has ruined beer for me. But if you want to try it, and you absolutely should, it's worth a trip. the cheapest place that you can get it in Brussels is a bar called tune. It's only twelve euros at tune and tune is like it's kind of a triple on. It's own. It's just a bar. You're really glossing over this. It's a puppet theatre. Yeah, it's a puppet. Bar Theater you WANNA. Talk about what? Yeah, this is actually an interesting historical thing. So puppets are actually a really interesting and important part of the history of Brussels. So you know how we're talking about how like every couple of years there's a new king. One of them was really insecure, and he was like people are making fun of me I, know people are making fun of me. I can see them like stick ring when they're watching their plays, and they're stupid. Little theater productions. They're making fun of me. I knew it, so he banned theater. Just like Fuck Theater. Nobody can ever talk about me. Please no more place. He hated actors also weird facts about him, so everybody was like you know what we were making fun of you. You Dick, but since we have no outlet now to make fun of you, what about puppets? You're saying that there was a leader of a country who hated people talking about him. So they had puppets, they were like you can't get rid of puppets pop surfer kids. What about the children? What will the children do for fun? The children so the king was like all right. You can have your weird as fucking puppets I guess because every ten years of king gets beheaded so I. Don't WanNa be the next one. So they develop these like body Raunchy. Political puppet theaters, and then hit those puppet theatre play slash bars down. These dark alleys Kinda like hitting away like if you if you see a dark alley, Belgium just go down it because there will be some awesome historical bar at the end of it. And if a kings lake henchmen happened to wander into it, they would just be like. Oh, we were just talking about farm animals. We Love Children's stuff. Way Political here on that was how basically people got their political commentary out like that was that was political dissension in the form of puppets, and and is the only one that's left. It's like one of the Og puppet theatre like revolutionary bars in Belgium. They still put on shows too I'm meows. It's a bad ass. History published creepiest fuck. They are so creepy, just hanging from the ceiling. They all look like they're just dead and just waiting to just chuck his bride at you and Oh God. It's really creepy. Annabel nightmares, but it's like helical to sit there and just look it. Creepy hanging puppets and drink westwater and IT'S A. It's an inch. It's unique. You can only do in Belgium. Just you know. It's weird. Belgian beers are not all just the Trappist style of like the blonde double triple quadruple, either they also have links I love Lamb Beck. So Lambert's are made using what's called spontaneous fermentation meaning. No sugar or yeast is added to start the fermentation process. Instead, it's all microbes in the air, and so they basically just throw open. The windows of the brewery opened up the vets and let Mother Nature Take your course, and you know like. I tried this once with like some bread, and some water and nothing happens. We don't have the right east here in our kitchen smells weird. Yeah, I think that's all you got kicked out. We didn't get kicked out, but we are moving. Anyway. Yes, so that's hilarious has made and actually what they do is they throw in these like? Sour Cherries, which is a very unique to Belgian thing also same show. Our in our Antwerp. They just toss him into the beer. And so when they throw those cherries in that land gets known as a Greek, and there's like raspberry land, and all kinds of different ones, and it's. It's not like sugar. It's not like a sugary kind of thing like it's often very sour tastes more like a sour but like. They're just they're really good. Drinking Sour Cherry Soda you know what I mean. It's elegant, so for those of you who are listening in your like that's cool i. know nothing about beer. We didn't. Neither all I knew was the beers I liked and the beers that I didn't like, but we went on a beer tour with global enterprises. Yeah, we learn all about the air. Because we spent like four hours, just drinking beer, and then we went on a beer and chocolate tour with. With the Brussels journey, so we got like a two for one, which is why we're really nerdy now about both chocolate and beer. They're awesome tours and we've got right up both on our site, and there are a lot of fun, and we learn like all about weird Belgian history and weird Belgian humor, and honestly we would've missed all of that if it weren't for our tour guides pointing it out. Like Belgium is Hella weird like it's really weird. We didn't realize this and one of the weirdest things, and if you were to like Google Belgium or Brussels, there's probably going to be a picture of a boy peeing. That's the famous mannequin. Piss I wish that wasn't the name because I don't want to say it. Because the whole thing kind of squeaks me out, honestly like before I went. I was like that's that's the downside like I. I know you have to. It's like going to the Paris and not seeing Apple Tower. You have to go to the Manneken pis when you're in Brussels. But like cross was to become the Paris right no. No I said. Whatever. Whatever anyway the point is, it's a weird. It's a weird icon rate, so we were just like. Why like what's the deal? Why does it exist and it turns out? Nobody knows it just us. It was not. There's not a true story about it. There's no answer. Nobody knows there's a fucking little boy peeing in the middle of Brussels. There's but there are a bunch of weird. Belgian myths and legends, which I find super cool, so one of them for instance was that the Belgian army on the front lines of a battle, and they were about to lose everybody at Lowe's spirits, and they were looking on their enemies, and they knew that they were about to face death, but then this boy. Ran Out to the enemy, and just like that seen in braveheart, he just took his pants down and just started pnn them y'all. There's going to be a lot of P in this action I'm sorry I promise, there is a like a payoff of some kind, but anyway just like in braveheart. They were like Oh. Hell, yeah, and then they were like browsed up and they. They just went and won the battle. Yeah, because you know, peeing is ultimate sign of male fortitude and I don't know why they're so into it. But for whatever reason can we unpack that story? Though? Why was there a toddler on the front lines? Maybe his dad had us taking care on that day. 'cause it. Bring your son to Battle Day. Yeah, you don't know. There's another one that I. That is sort of similar. There's a fire threatening to destroy Brussels so this heroic toddler, who apparently not was watching just kind of ran out and peed on the flames and save the city, and I don't know like like I have questions for that one to like a WHO's watching this fucking toddler be was just like the world's tiniest fire, because that doesn't seem like it would be possible or see. Was He just like? Did you drink a lot of water that day like you know or was it just like? Everybody saw that and like followed suit and they were like. Gross. Gross, that's my least favorite one. This is this is another one similar. There's a sticker. For whatever reason about to destroy the city, and this fucking hero toddler, presumably wearing some kind of like ultra cool, nineteenth century James Bond spy outfit, just like peed on the dynamite and put it out. That one seems the most ridiculous to me. This one actually seems the most realistic. If I'm honest. Yeah, this one I got this I got so there is. Is a witch and she was really sick of just constantly being like bothered by having to like have little toddlers. Run out and start peeing on stuff like probably she had some bad ass plans that he kept thwarting or something, or maybe she was just like. You know what who's watching you. Stop heating on things. That's gross and she turned into stone. And then in his final active Toddler Ping revenge. The statute to and everything was just be forever. I don't know why I don't know why. There's so much p. in this this is. The closest thing like I said obviously the most true Yup definitely 'cause like hearing the story I just want to like throw some little white toddlers NGO of in well. Maybe a witch in the story that actually that statue now that it's like famous inspired different artists to build statues so. In a bid to be more like have more gender equality, I guess somebody somebody made a statue of a girl peeing, and it's outside of the famous Delirium Cafe Yeah. 'cause like why you all of those stories you girls, girls can peon on stuff to. We could appeared on some dynamite. You know, but then some now some dude who is like fuck gender equality. He made a dog peeing so that he was on his way of putting a finger up to the girl statue. With now there's a dog peeing, yeah. That's the worst part of the story to me and I'm like. Where's that and I'm just like? Where's the cat? WHO's making that statue? So basically, there's just like things peeing all over Belgium. and honestly like I thought it was super, weird and gross, but like hearing all these weird stories, and then learning that like it's like actually this kind of like inside joke like it's like this weird quirky little statute that nobody in Brussels quite knows where it came from like who made it. WHY DOES IT Exist? Why is it here? Why is it peeing why? Why is everything p like the fact that nobody knows and they just like made up a bunch of random stories to answer it. I thought it was kind of cute, and then the other thing that I thought was kind of cute. They like they dress it up in little outfits they do they like make little outfits for it, and he gets a little outfit every month. He puts like a little Santa Claus. Outfit on every. Day But it still has to pee, so we'll just end that thought there. They have like they all have like these little holes in the front, but it's like he said in that thought there. The point is he has hundreds of little tiny outfits, and there's a whole museum for them which will get into in a second? But he's actually it's a really cool example of just like the Weird Quirky Belgian sense of humor like did to me, that encapsulates it just the weirdest sense of humor, and I love it. One of the other cool things about earning funny things about the Manneken Pis is that people have tried to steal it? Yeah, it's been involved in these Carmen Sandiego style capers, so the real manneken pis statue was like in some use iem somewhere. Nobody cares, but it's just been stolen so many times. But. Anyway I WANNA. Get back to the weird museums because that's actually one of my favorite things about Brussels. There are so many weird museums and we don't have nearly enough time on this episode. Highlight all of the museums, but we mentioned the Manneken Pis Outfit Museum so there are a hundred and eight museums in Brussels. There are so many, but we don't have time to get an into all of them. We're just GONNA. Talk about like the weirdest one. And some of them, some of them are just Halloween. It starts on normal like there's like mini. Europe, and the and those are like what you'll find. Top Ten coolest museums whatever which are also. It's really cool to yeah. They're fine. Then it gets into like slightly quirky move, which is like the Museum of original figurines, which is just like tiny, little cool characters, like the smurfs which are from Belgian and like tiny little settings, and like okay, that's cute. Then there's the manneken pis like wardrobe, which is a little weird. And then there's the international puppet museum which creepy, but like history cool cool. There's agreed museum. If you want to see things that are not a pipe, yeah, so yeah, he's a Sassy surrealist Papa you'd like to. Toss out names like people just know. Everyone knows that painting. This is not a pipe one of the most pretentious. If you say this is not a pipe, but nobody's like. Oh, agreed we use bustles. Anyway Sassy surrealist Shit is helical. Then there's the art and Marge Museum which is like outsider art from artists that are outside of the mainstream, so like differently abled, mentally challenged basically just taking everything you thought you knew about art, and just like turning it on its head. which I think is awesome. There's a clock area. M- which is just a museum of Art Deco clocks. Awesome. That's the best thing I love. How Art Deco and Art Nouveau Brussels as. But you can only actually tore the clock area on Sundays at exactly three Oh five PM. And if you don't speak French too bad, then there's the Sewers Museum I. Heard it was Kinda Shitty. Well we'RE GONNA. Move Right along then. There's the Belgian Museum of Freemasonry. because. I had this weird theory that like actually. Brussels is just like the center of Alumina which we won't get into here. Because this whole thing it's on, it's on the blog. Check it out then. There is the Museum of the Black Sisters which is totally unrelated to like the African American. or The African Diaspora it's about nines in the black plague, which is Super Rad, but it's only open for two hours a week on Wednesdays which I find suspicious very sauce Then there's the museum of fantastic art, although no, it's no this one's better because the description says fantastical, bizarre and Weird Creations, sculptures and pictures, and then if you just keep like just diving into the website, all it says is fantastic history of the bio synthesis works of Professor D. Who The fuck is professor? D What the fuck is by this I. don't Care I. Don't know why we didn't go to this museum. I have to go back I have so many questions like I need to know then there's the I. Think this is one of my favorite. There's the spontaneous art museum and I was really hoping that this would just be like a museum. Full of people just like spontaneously bursting into like. Like fits of Song, and dance or painting, or whatever, but it's not, but it's really interesting. Basically, it's like a this is what it is described as a building journey through non-conventional art forms, and then a bunch of like weird shit. About how Sassy does actually I lied? My favorite is the museum of fantastic art. That's my final answer I. Really like the idea. There's a museum of bookbinding which is cool. There is yeah. And it turns out. There's a lot of like weird temporary offbeat museums to like the Museum of underwear, and the Museum of cats used to be a thing, but they're now closed, which I find sad. But yeah, you could spend just like the entire time. The in Brussels going to weird fucking museums. We tried to spend a whole day doing it. We didn't even make a dent now, yeah! It was awesome. We were in Brussels for New Year's Eve. And it. They have like a celebration is so big olive Grandpa, was just it? We're not just trying to be cool. It was it was lit. It was very bright. He was very bright. We could see it all the way from our hostile two miles away where we never laughed, we didn't actually go outside. We are really old and really lame, even on our honeymoon true and we were hoping that we would have a little. Little, we would have the dorm room to ourselves. Potatoes, one other guy he has somebody we were just like we nobody else can possibly be as lame as US staying on New Year's Eve, but there was, and we kept just like passive, aggressively, waiting for him to leave, and he was passive, aggressively waiting for us to leave, and it was, it was really awkward. She was the only person in that entire term with us it. It was very uncomfortable. We never talked to him once. Yeah, so that was like not our best new. Year's Eve, which is fine. That's fine. The rest of Brussels made up for it, but we were so surprised by like how much we ended up. Loving Belgium absolutely like I said we started this whole thing saying like they're going to have good beer. Good chocolate while the fries. The waffles I might meet junk log band, Dan. Dan We're just like you. Guys don't understand like the chocolate and beer have now ruined chocolate and beer for us forever same with fries and fucking Waffles, and like we didn't talk about the stew. Oh my God, there's so many good students, and like muscles, and we didn't talk about speculation loose. Cuckoo Holy Shit SPEC. You lose cookies and like we're history and West letter and an like. We just go on forever like we. Say Belgium around us will just like rant at you for like three hours. How long is this? PODCAST is three hours feels like it was three hours I'm not kidding whenever anybody mentions any of those things that we mentioned stew or chocolate, or whatever or Belgium I have to grabbed his arm and be like. Today like seventy will be like I. Tried this really good beer the other day get, have you know? It's so good y'all should really go. I think Belgium is highly underrated. It really is. It's one of the few countries that I'm just like really itching to go back to most times I'm like. Yeah, it was really great and I have that memory, but now Belgium I'm like I have not gained enough weight. Do you think that postal has this tiny Santo costume? Yeah me too big for it. Like a grownup Santa Costume. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy hearing US talk about Belgian I. Want To know from you guys where what what places have surprised you. Where did you think that you were going to be like? It was just going to be okay, and then you're like floored by it. Places have ruined other foods for you who? Have turned you into a food SNOB. When previously you were just like I don't really do that I. don't really drink beer. Let us know you can. Tweet your responses. Practical Wander. You can DM on Instagram at practical wanderlust? Yeah, we'll see you next time, yeah!

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High Score a Netflix docuseries

Budget Arcade: Free to play gaming

44:06 min | 11 months ago

High Score a Netflix docuseries

"Hello Gamers. Let's talk about anchor. If you haven't heard about anchor, it's the easiest way. Make a podcast it's free and you know us a budget arcade we love free. There's creation tools that allow you to record Annetta your podcast right from your phone or your computer. In fact, I'm actually using that. To record this ad in traffic as I said at a late. That's amazing Anchor would distribute your podcast for you. So it may be heard on spotify apple podcasts and many more. You can make money for your podcast would no minimum listenership and it's everything that you would need to make a podcast in one place. So go to anger DOT FM start. Slash start. To Start Your own podcast I can't wait to hear your podcast. Hello and welcome to budget arcade. Hello and welcome to our. All. Right. I'll leave it. Hello. Welcome to budget arcade a free to play game with podcast to help you navigate through the growing realm of free to play games. My name is issue boy mark. It is my boy mark and each and every other week we play a free to play game and review it for you. But on these off weeks mark, I just get into a room and we sit there and we wait for about thirty to forty minutes and then we put that on the Internet I'm in my favorite chair. So I'm good. Let's go. Yeah I I'm in a chair, which is better than not having on. So this week, we are going to be just kind of recap and highlighting the new Netflix's Docu series called high score that came out a week or two ago, and this is actually brought to my attention by a friend of the podcast kindred you go check out her podcast. It's called I just wanted to talk It's part of the imagine. Ville podcast network, which is a network we are also part of Ooh. That was a good plug like that. That was look I'm I'm really good at you are. Thank you. So if you don't know, it's a high score, is a six part miniseries documentary series covering video games. basically from the Atari era a little bit before the Atari. era up into the soup late Super Nintendo round doom came out Era of Gaming and it covers the people, the games they made the creative process and the stories behind it So Morgan are just GonNa kind of pick some of the the stories out we're not going to full recap, but the ones that we enjoyed and I'm going to let Mark I. Yes. So the the first episode touches on the origins of. early Arcade Gaming your. Your. Typical Pacman and. in one of the things I thought was super interesting about this and that this whole Docu series was if you're if you are a fan of video game history, there are a lot of just little little factoid 's throughout this series that. Kind of blow your mind and one of the first ones that that comes to mind. Is that. the creator of Pacman was originally. designed. For Women, it was geared towards. Yeah Yeah it was it was geared towards the female Gamer and it was meant to like. Just. Be this average you know hey, were were gearing this towards women You know it's slower pace than your. Than your Your regular dismissal was the was in space invaders was like space invaders, I knew right and so like. It was fascinating to see this unfold is that Pacman was just this placeholder title for for women and it just I agree completely took off women like pizza wasn't that thing I mean like. It was so ridiculous I love Pacman I think everyone does actually I prefer Miss Pacman which they get into a little bit but I yeah, I found that crazy to I had no idea. It was initially just like marketed towards women because space invaders was a boys game. Right and so like you know. So, Pacman took off and you know the Creator Pacman, he sitting at a pizza parlor and he sees. This this pizza and it's got two slices missing and he's like Yo that's my. That's my main character of this game I want to create and the rest is history but. It this Syrian I love watching. People explain their their motivations behind things and expressed especially when it comes to. video games in. The the the first episode this bleeds into is is that. You know there were people behind these gains that They're. The, the the seventies and eighties were crazy era for. For just. Coming up with new stuff and. You know the the simplistic. Art. That Bread Video Games is is crazy to me. you know just these Hey we just want to create this thing that eats things and you know we're GONNA WE'RE GONNA, marketed towards women and it's GonNa grow into this multimillion. Dollar idea and that that's crazy to me. That's. The white dots are cookies. So you have to imagine nation playing these old Atari, generation games and early Arcade Games yeah. No, it was it. It was the first episode is an and I think I feel like that's that's a that's something that Netflix does very well is that they draw you in with a very. High Score. It's a it's a premise of video game history. And they draw you in with these little known factoid zone like you know the Creator Pacman had secured towards women in the. Grows. Into this. And this unstoppable force and then after that, it's every episode is is geared towards something different. So yet. So that was that was my initial impression of of this. The series was holy crap I didn't even know that. That was a thing that you know Yeah. One of the stories. That fascinated me a lot was actually on the last. Episode where? These guys were hacking the Gameboy the to get to do three D.. And they. He cracked it and got the sort of wire frame three. D To work on the game boy Nintendo found it and. they thought they were going to get sued or shut down by Nintendo because you know. Traditionally Nintendo doesn't like anyone touching their stuff. That's like they're very protective and instead they get them to come up with a way to do three D technology on the super? Nintendo. And In. One of the things that Star Fox's sort of in our past and I've grown up with it and I forget that it is this groundbreaking piece. Of Technology that first home console games with polygons in psych. Wow One of the things I really liked was they are building the game building the game and they gave it Emoto who if you don't know as a greeter memorial, Zelda and metro-wide and. Vox Right but. Dan starbucks. But he's like, I don't get it. You know this isn't working I said, but we'll go home for Christmas and come back with a solution and they talk about these these arches that you walk under in Japan, and it uses that for inspiration and Kinda back off of the the guy who's just eating pizza and came up with Pacman. Simple. Inspiration can come from everyday things and I thought that that was cool and he said what if we put these things you fly through so you don't have to worry about your left and right in your six but just what's in front of you because for US gamers moving from two D to Three d thousand, maybe going to be a lot to ask also is going to be a lot to ask if the programmers. So by. Sort of adding that barrier made the game work better. Well, I thought I you know it's funny. You mention me a motos because one of the things I saw it and was it was the last episode of of this documentaries, which is six episodes. But the. What the? Encouragement Mu me on a diet, right. You think of water. A. All right. Yeah. So Motor was very as far as we know like the standard Gamer noses that he's crazy. You know he's got these off the wall ideas and everything else that. But like this, this series really painted him as a very simplistic. You know thinker he was very he wasn't. He wasn't really on board with the whole. Hey let's let's go out of our way to create this crazy new idea and for star Fox at least and and he you know he's like Oh I love these arches and like you said it's a starbucks drew its original inspiration from these. The series of arches, which is as far as I know like hundred. Just consecutive. walkway in Japan, and he was like Oh let's. Let's fly a plane through these these arches and. It's like you does a night simplistic idea that could morph into this. Crazy fun. Game that that that blows my mind. Yeah it's like don't over think it right especially in the early parts of gaming just don't over think it. Let's just make fun So I, kind of like bats bounce around. But what what was the next thing that? Comes to mind out of the DOCU series that you remember so. Going back to the early early episodes of this this this documentaries I thought one thing that was super interesting was that. Universal sued Nintendo of America over donkey. Kong. and I had no idea I had no idea that even had. I knew that that happened. But then they get do a creation of one of the iconic. Characters and where that character came from that I did not know it was fastened. Yeah. So so. Nintendo hires a lawyer called a his name was John Kirby. To. As their defense in this lawsuit over. Copyright Infringement. Donkey Kong and you know so universal suing into America over over you know their their use of the. Khong character, the the APE in Donkey Kong. Saying it completely is a is a play on their Their own ownership of Donkey Kong or I'm sorry a King Kong in in. In so universal it suing native America and John Kirby is this lawyer who's hired to represent Nintendo and long story short Nintendo wins their defense of Donkey Kong and so Nintendo and and real quick their defense was is that universal doesn't even have rights to King Kong right. You can't own that property. It doesn't. You can't sue us because you don't own the property wrestling. Public domain right and so Nintendo's celebrates this monumental victory of You know. Whether or not they were infringing on anybody's rights. For Donkey Kong. By creating a character. Kirby a you know now. You know historic character in video game lower in they created after this this lawyer, this this American lawyer of John, Kirby and I thought that was that's crazy. It's little little details like that. where? video game history really just Kinda washes over you in his like holy crap this. This character that everybody knows whether or not you play you play the Kirby game or you your era student of video game history you know Kirby you at least know. Who Kirby is and? Seeing that come out of. A legal battle of early Nintendo histories was pretty special. So let's get the my favorite episode. So if you've listened to the top five consoles episode. Will just briefly they get into in Nineteen ninety-three the video game crash when Atari was kind of the Atari Twenty six, hundred was huge but all these games came out there was no regulation on anybody could program for the thing and some of them were garbage. We didn't have the Internet, and so there's no way of knowing what you buying was good or not, and it caused this video game crash in nineteen three while they get into Nintendo in the history of the company and then building the Nintendo entertainment system and they spend a lot of time with The woman. So there's both Sega an on to kind of have this parallel story of the the people who are in the region. That sort of lead the marketing of the American marketing of these consoles because if you don't know that any Japan was called the FAMICOM, the family computer and it wasn't sleek it kind of weird and so I can't remember her name but this woman took over in America and it's basically we have heard a think for all the changes she made to the console to to that gray box that. In the. Show they say was inspired by the Delorean you know and what a perfect thing to inspire by and just. Thought that was cool but. I WANNA really getting to the point where they bring in Sega and as everyone who listen knows a second genesis is my system I love it, and they talked with the gentleman who ran Sega of America and the demands he gave. The Japanese market of Sega and saying, this is what you want this to be successful in. America. Because Genesis had I didn't know this had already been out for a good while and had like eight percent of the market. Be You know like they didn't have much? And So he's like well, we need to I'm GonNa Forget one of the rules but the first one was like we need to lower the price The second one was in need to beat. Mario. The third one is we need sports games you. Want to be cool for teens and then the last one. Was Make Fun Intendo. I I think that's them. So they lower the price I mean, that's pretty straightforward not much to talk about there. But then they talk about the creation of sonic and the Kinda the guy got inspired by just going to theme parks and seeing rollercoasters in America and just being inspired by that. Now, they didn't know what kind of animal there we're going to be in there and they talked about they had a panda and they had some other. I don't remember all the ones but all these other animals in an eventually got to the hedgehog and just clicked and I I love that yet rolled go ahead no You know what I didn't know is because I grew up with sacred. So you know I'm a preteen win win Sega's coming out and so Sega really. Leaned in a whole lot to the hayward, just the were the bad boys on the block You know sonic, the hedgehog he's this guy this character that has no rules and he's just a you know he's a rule breaker and he's he's geared towards of. You know adolescent teens that are fight fighting the system. and. Sega's partnership with MTV at the time I thought that was just a an and I go back and I'm like did I it was like watching MTV the time that Sega was really and and I I I try to think you know. Where was I at this time and you know I wasn't I was probably twelve years old when Sega's really come in finding its own. And I remember plane sonic but I don't remember sonic being this bad boy. You know right character in and I watching watching these this documentary on Sega in seeing how and I remember the the. The Mantra of the the ad campaign you know the whole Sega you know where everybody was yelling out SEGA A and I just you know struggling to remember. I don't remember Sega being the the the bad boy on the block, but I will say this. You knew that they were the real deal where mortal Kombat came out go talk about that here for sure. And they give him the censorship board and and Not to be political, but me wanting to punch Joseph Lieberman in the face like and some of these there's one guy even worse like I really don't have anything against Joseph Lieberman but I do have problems with really old people who've never played a video game deciding whether or not we can play them or not right and so that whole Boorda fogies and parents There's one guy who had the most epic poem Overall Time Talking About how disgusting these games arm like. Eating, play the game you know. Your your comb overs discussing Yeah. So transition to. Sega fully leaned into. Hey. You know we're GONNA market our. System. Seems to a more adults video game atmosphere, and so that lead into the discussion of mortal combat you know mortal Kombat, street fighter streetfighter came before mortal combat more combat leaned into hey, we're going to have real blood. We're GONNA have We're going to have our characters perform these fatalities in game digitized right as opposed to cartoony. There's there's a parallel here. Are you a wrestling guy? If you ever watch professional wrestling at any point? Yeah. I I'm not a big wrestling fan but I've I've. Denied don't hear anything else so. There's a parallel here. that. Mortal combat takes I never mind dumped the wrestling thing because nobody cares but me. The whole idea is that like we're going to do differently than. Sued the streetfight Lake. Street. So so many times people try. To make. The next big thing by doing it the same way right by saying, oh, they're street fighters. Let's just do the same thing and mortal. Kombat has no we're GONNA do it as different as we can. We're GONNA have digitize characters violence. You know you know and and so no one's going to mistake our game for a street fighter clone and the point I was going to make an rustling the nineties there was w. w f at the time, and they had just kid for content and w w what we're GONNA do. Everything the opposite way all your characters have fake names are is a real names not into the but creatively, i. think that's what people. Is Best you know like if you WANNA make a game in a row, think what you can do differently and I think. Now, we have more combat, which is a great series, and actually in this day and age may be considered more successful than street fighter Because of where it is now, just talking about this generation streetfighter acts and eleven are all great games not street fighter. Sorry. Mortal Kombat exit eleven. All Great Gamer but streetfighter five or whichever the last one was has been panned yet much because it. Half a game. So it's Kinda like full circle almost yeah I think I think you know I think it was five of this documentary that really. You know painted fighting games as the future of south. Of. There was a a niche for fighting games. Then there still is now, but like street fighter has has. In my opinion but did for. A lot of. A lot of recent video gaming and moral combat has kinda carried the the the fighting John Nra through this current. Gaming. Well I would say, yes, also upset I honestly think the most popular fighting game in the world right now smash brothers Oh true especially if you look at a competitive level like that's always the big one street fighter is still there and heavily represented and then you get Miami area the Games I love like soul calibre tech and I loved the Namco fighters. but I agree like to me. People don't I mean get excited about street streetfighter anymore. Mortal Kombat. Lot People love that new the new ones and. Good on them. Yeah. No. They had some time in the middle there where like mortal Kombat four beyond where it was like, what are you guys doing? And now they're back. Yeah. It this. this the stocky series touches on the origins of of these fighting games than I. One thing I didn't realize. I probably knew it in the back of my back of my brain but. Never. Really thought about was that You know the the makers of mortal. Kombat originally wanted Jean Claude, Van Damme to be there. Oh my gosh. Yeah. They they wanted they wanted I wanted that they wanted van to be their their. Their. Face of one the. Right and so we wouldn't like they literally wanted John Claude van Damme to play himself in mortal combat because the blood sport and that would have blown my mind cause I love John Claude van Damme. Era, who did I loved him and you're telling me I get a video game. Was, John, Claude van Damme where I can control him right Oh God I can control him doing doing the the the the the patented junk, Claude, Van Damme, split, and into the Crotch Punch. It listen, and so you know, and so the you know the makers of more combat they they approached Janklow antion like, Hey, we want you to be the face of our game in all this and John Claude. Van Damme politely declines and so and so they're like, they're like, oh wait a minute. Now we gotta go back to the drawing board. So we'll just make a character that kind of looks like Jean Claude Van Damme he has young van Damme's moves, but he's not gene restart right? He's not Jean Claude van Damme and I think that was probably. You know one of the biggest. Nine commitments in video game history where. You have a character that resembles a movie star, but isn't the movie star but has all the same character traits. And we're talking about Johnny Cage here in. In the mortal combat, you know. Batting Order of characters and. You know. It's just one of those things where it's one of those. Nuances that never really. Comes up but you're like, wow, you know I really see the parallels in now knowing the back story. When they were making the movie, it was like they need to give vandamme to play cage not doing this right you know as like he's the only guy it's random basically, right That that was that was that blew my mind that they act had actually approached Van Damme in wanted him to play the character. and. Then he declined was like. Well, okay. We'll. Just we'll make cares anyway, right It'll be van Damme, but he'll name his name is Johnny Cage. Now if if anybody listening doesn't know who Sean Claude Van Damme is need to educate yourself watch blunt sport in kickboxer start there also universal soldiers excellent. Do want to add one A. There's so many Janklow van Damme films. Junk love and is his death, the hockey one or how. I think I think kick kick kickboxer in blood sport or the to. blood towards their I mean he's bloodsport is the are the origins for the inspiration for Johnny Cage's character right that the the DOCU series. Pretty much says that yeah and so I think if you go back and watched those films kickboxer and bloodsport, you'll see and then you play a a original mortal Kombat game you'll see the parallel serve it. There is no other. There's no other parallel that can be made behinds. Van. Damme's inspiration for mortal Kombat. Now if you don't want to watch a full movie to find out who van Damme is go to Youtube type Jean Claude van Damme in the word Volvo like the car unlv. Oh. Yeah and probably the first. Option should be what you watch. Do. Not Talk Yeah Absolutely, I've seen the most epic of splits. Yeah. No the master he you WanNa start a John Claude van Damme podcast. I I love the guy it'll be budget arcade van. Damme. We talk about everything GonNa be okay with that we'd have to make our own feet but anyway So I do talk about one other. Quick story they tell there's a lot of stories here, but they talk a bit about sports and how it's becoming a thing and how it was scoffed at at ways like I've seen. What am I was watching I like. Hbo Sport shows and their dude like a piece on. E. Sports where we're filling up these huge arenas and they cut back to the panel the in the officer. All befuddled that people want to watch people play video games, and unlike a who the hell are you, you're sitting around watching other people exercise I love Sports, I love football, but it's not any different. You're not doing the football you know what I mean to. Someone else athletic while you on your couch, you're not any better but the Guinness competitions in the Nintendo world championships and there's this young kid you know he's playing and he's getting good and you know his parents take him to a terminal does pretty well, and like the thing that got me about this as apparent is like they see that their son is enjoying them. He's having fun and Hey, he might be really good at this. and. He wants to do it. Let's support him and so they take him to the gaming. And he ends up winning the Nintendo World Championships, and in the the they had the gentleman there obviously an adult now talking about it and he's like my mom was so proud of me she was as proud me if if I won. The Super Bowl or whatever and my parents they just like. Giddy for me and they show some footage of the parents audience when he's playing and it's something about it just got to be like. Allowing your kids to have their own dreams into sport whether you understand it or not and. And I think I just got to me it yet. No I liked it. Yeah you. That one hundred percent. I was in the same boat is that Back, in the the early nineties when gaming was really becoming a thing video games were slowly. And maybe not slowly but breeding their way into households, you're no longer having to go to an arcade to to play video games and and that's that's where I grew up. That's where I grew up. I grew up in the transition between arcade gaming and in home. Console. And you know, I remember I remember getting my First Consul, my and I remember it was it was the the any S I remember get it for Christmas and I remember playing Super Mario and who and and just you know hooking up to the TV and just plain for hours on end just trying to make it to the next level and ends and Save mechanics back in back in those days. There was just you know, hey, you ran from point A. to point B. in and see how far we could get from Point A. Point. B. and. you know. So watching these kids until in hearing their stories of Hey I participated the you know tinder world championships or the the the Sega. Utah time trials or whatever it was. You know I remember I remember those days I end. So I think this this whole Docu series is is is is a nostalgic you know time warp of. You know those individuals like myself you and whoever else listening that grew up in this time era that. That said Hey you know watch watch our watch our documentary AMD BE? Be. Participate with us in this. In this this time warp of Video. Games Golden Age in and that that's that's what got me with this whole thing and while you know. It's six episodes long in in some episodes are more nostalgic than others. But as a as as a whole man if you if you WanNa, if you WANNA transport yourself back to win video games were. All the rage in and everybody was trying to one up each other you know with with new ideas man this this documentary was. It that that's what this documentary did for me. Yeah. And it showed me to like the inspiration come from I. Think if you don't play indie games like if you're someone who only plays. The AAA titles I think you're missing out and I think in Indie Games where the innovations gonNA come from that. We saw from guys like Miyamoto in the ABC's. the people who aren't under a corporate deadline. That are allowed to just be creative and make what they WanNa make I think you definitely need to check out some indies to see that there I on. Hold on. So and you talk about Indie Games and I think the original in the game was were in touches on on the idea in the first episode of the documentary. Is the enhancement kits for all I did WANNA talk about yeah. Yeah. For new idea these existent right? I didn't either to me and so so it's the original MoD yet right but that but that's that's the. The Indy. Platform birth you know where these guys said Hey we can take this game, but we can improve on it and we can make something new and exciting, and we can sell it and we can market it and we can create a niche video game. Atmosphere, you know in the corner of Arcade by improving. And modifying original title, and I just think that's that was the the birth of indie gaming at least in my opinion is being what was cool for me in that was that I said at the beginning I prefer Miss Pacman and these these guys in a garage making these kits to. The original pacman. Eventually just came on board. and. Made Miss Pacman. Yeah and I think you can look it Nintendo today and see that's a very different company than it used to be where now they're shutting down a lot of fan sites you know like Shut down there was A. A metro to remake they shut that down and because they have their own remake coming instead of may be bringing these people on where if you look at Sega who granted is a lot smaller of a company and nowhere near as successful down days but they had someone make a fan game of sonic and said, you know what? Once you make fan game for us they called Sonic Mania and that games amazing and I I just wish we could see more of that but just kind of piggybacking off my own point about companies changing. If you want to know what Yay was before they were corporate. Suits making micro transactions in games you can go on the Sega Genesis episode when they talk about the birth of sports and how is this people who really liked sports and they made games and you know obviously, there was leadership changes since then it's become what it is now where it's been the most hated company in America back to back years recently It just Kinda shows where the passion leaves and yeah when you get the stagnation and well, you know so the So I think it's absolute for. Go back to my notes on on this and it's it's episode four's where they they really dive into the Sega an EA. Sports You know venture and EA. Sports Sega. So easy sports and Sega. Really go hand in hand. because Sega wanted to. They wanted to promote hey, we're we are a video game company that is marketing ourselves to these sports fan You know by the original Madden Madden football and they even go they dive very. Deep into, you know how they they they marketed their video game to madden and said, Hey and they even go as far as to say we were the re rigidly wanted to be seven on seven football but not an, you know John Madden himself told us well, that's not real football. You have to have foot down right inaugural do it if you don't do a live right Levin Lovett right. So so that that by John, Madden put in his foot foot down on hey, it's not real football unless you have eleven people plan eleven, people That's really forced SEGA IN EA to. Completely dive into the. Hey we we need. We actually need to have a revolution in this game. So eleven people can be doing eleven, different things on the screen at once, and and and that to me that was fascinating is because I didn't know that I didn't know that that that John Madden inadvertently. Evolved Video Games. In that in that in that time to become. More than what we had just been playing as a as a platform video game And I thought that was that was fascinating. That's what this show. That's what this Docu series really does. Well, is that they take these little these little known factoid they really dive in on them and they completely shed New Light on video game history that you would know without this. Yeah and I think that's a good place to leave it I think you could tell by the way mark sock and I certainly recommend the series if you have a netflix account. Check it out. Especially, if you don't know a lot about the history there's a lot to learn and if you do think you know a lot. there's a lot learning. There's a lot to learn straight I. so many things that was like I did not know that that's so interesting. The Star Fox thing blew me away note I didn't know that it was some guys in a closet modern amboise that gave us star Fox or you know and so I definitely recommend now you know so. And I feel like we'd be doing a an injustice review. If we didn't say that it's not perfect you know the series at six episodes and it doesn't touch on the entire history of gaming You know the the last episode where touches on Star Fox doesn't we don't we don't get into the modern video game history where Microsoft and Sony dive in and completely revamp things. So I think there is room for improvement but man this, this series is such a rounds. Of you know it lays the groundwork for you know an another another season of. This of the high score you know I. Hope I. Hope They I. Hope they'd make a season two of high score where it touches on those things. Yeah, and in a lot of ways that I think this is a good place to end though because. Really, it's Sega versus Nintendo right and at the time even though Nintendo's kind of a sports they have other side things that you'd like toys and they've decide things but generally nintendo and Sega are gaming companies right? and. Then in the next generation, you have Microsoft and Sony and themselves in the landscape of gaming changes from being gaming companies to being big corporate. Bruiser right heavy hitters now in this market. And who you know who knows we're game, it would be if that didn't happen it was just Sega and Nintendo battling for years I don't know but there's definitely a lot to talk about their shall make a season two. Yeah, absolutely. All, right. Well, this is budget arcade. We are here every other every Tuesday with something. This coming Tuesday we are playing archer. WAS IT Danger Adam? Phone, it's a terr-. It's a terrible game yet. But we sure to check that out next week. But until then you can find us on our website budget arcade, dot, com twitter, and instagram at budget arcade and facebook dot com slash budget. Kate. You can get some of our merchant hockey gaming dot com slash budget hyphen arcade be sure to use Promo code but biscuits. there's another our music is by stitch you can find his music on Metro Medal Dot Com. We'll see you guys. Imagine Ville podcast network.

Sega Nintendo Van Damme John Claude van Damme Netflix America Sean Claude Van Damme Pacman wrestling John Japan Star Fox football John Kirby spotify Donkey Kong Atari
Cyborg (1989) | Jean-Claude Van Damme

Around the World in 80s Movies

14:06 min | 2 years ago

Cyborg (1989) | Jean-Claude Van Damme

"The. Hi, welcome to around the world in eighties movies. My name is Vince Leo on the author of the film review website, quips dot net. I've I check out over four thousand written reviews read anytime quick stir dot net is where to go Q W I P S T E R dot net else. Wanna let you know. If you go there, you can find my link to my other podcast that covers brand new movies out in the theaters. It is called the quit stir film review podcast, just head to my website. Check the links and you'll find it today. We're going to be continuing our second in three part series looking at films featuring cyborgs from the nineteen eighties last week. Of course, we looked at one of the better ones of the nineteen eighties. I guess if you kinda count Darth Vader in the strikes back. Maybe that would be the best one of the nineteen s but the last episode was RoboCop very much enjoyed covering now in because that's one of my favorite films of the nineteen eighties today. Kind of on the other side of the spectrum intern. Of quality from robo cop is a nineteen eighty nine film called cyborg features JEAN CLAUDE van Damme with supporting roles going to Debra Richter. Vincent Klein, Alex Daniels deal hadn't blazed loomed. Ralph Miller Haley Peterson and Terry Batson. The directors repeal on the screenplay is credited to kitty Chalmers. It's an R rated film. It does have strong violence, brief nudity and language. The run time is an hour and twenty six minutes. Cyborg is set in the future. We start off in New York. It's after the dreaded nuclear holocaust every place. It's a wasteland of lawlessness of gangland thuggery JEAN CLAUDE van Damme here stars as a skilled martial arts warrior, named Gibson Rickenbacker. He's known as a Slinger, which I assume is shortened from gunslinger, he's like this mercenary for hire who ends up helping refugees he fights for and ends up. Rescuing a woman named Pearl profit from. Mm this horde of marauders. And it turns out that that woman is really not a woman any logger. She's rather a cyborg who's been transformed in order to gather information, and then transport it to Atlanta on the hope that scientists will end up turning the tide on this widespread plague that has threatened humanity with extinction with that data. However, the leader of the marauders is the fearsome psychopath named Fender tremolo a man who has a history with Gibson. He ruined his life in the past. Fender ends up stealing her back because he wants to cure for himself. And it's up to Gibson along with his newly found tag along named needy Simmons to become earth's last hope now, if you're a musician, or you're just a music fan, you probably have recognized some of the names that I just mentioned have a lot to do with each other. You have Gibson and Fender and Rickenbacker and tremolo and Pearl, and I guess you would gather that writer director Albert Pyon who ROY. This film under his pseudonym of screenwriter, Katie Chalmers. You would think that he's a big fan of music given that nearly everyone's name can be traced back to music or a major instrument manufacturer, you can add Naty Simmons and Marshall strat to that mix. And a few others wonder if the screenplay was typed up in the music shop drawing name inspirations, by whatever was viewed around the word processor, reportedly director beyond had envisioned this film to be a nearly dialogue free heavy metal dominated operatic. Western which would explain the emphasis on guitar names? Lingo, I suppose that tie into musical 'electronic is also not far from being the most science fiction forward thing about this film. There are very few special effects shots. The cyborg herself really means little more to the film than being just a macguffin the origin of cyborg as a film. It's sometimes it's referred to by its original title of Slinger. It comes as an aborted. Sequel to masters of the unit. For something. I alluded to in my review, you can go back quite a few episodes and five my review of masters of the universe. Where mention that ended up getting rewritten. And retold about a dozen times into this post apocalyptic western taint martial arts actioner that exists today, almost unrecognizable I think from the masters of the universe properties. It was filmed on a shoestring budget by cannon films or the cannon group Golan Globus cyborgs only selling point is that it is a starring vehicle for JEAN CLAUDE van Damme. He was not quite yet at his Pika popularity but he was popular enough for the studio to take a gamble. I'm replacing the originally intended Chuck Norris to give this burgeoning young action star a chance this would be a much darker film than most Vandamme output in this time with really hardly any humor to be found within the film itself. Although lovers of very cheap. Looking Sifi may get a humorous kick out of the hair and the word rove, and the b movie kitsch that this film. Espouses van Damme fans are though pretty forgiving a lot of really liked this movie. But I would say for most people this is going to be far from his best work both as an actor and martial artist. It really doesn't help that the editing very choppy in this film, and it gives little real sense of what's actually going on the film's many action sequences fan himself has gone on to say that he really doesn't much care for this film and chooses to ignore it. Maybe there's a reason for that. Which I'll get into in the moment Albert peon who would go onto direct many other similarly premise post-apocalyptic, Marcia lights b movies, including a couple of films that he considers kind of like a cyborg trilogy. He focuses here solely on the action. He has shoes much in the way of the dialogue even wanted less dialogue than there was in this film. In addition to intending it to be filmed in black and white, however, Golan Globus hated the direction he was taking made him reshoot in color and with more emphasis on van Damme's fighting skills, and it's a basic story line. You know, you got good guy versus bad guy in the fight for. Viable, there's not a lot more to it than that than a setup. Pian was commissioned to put this film together on a very shoestring budget using props and sets that were reserved from other cannon group films that he was supposed to have been directing simultaneously, namely, the aforementioned masters of the universe. Follow up. And a never produced Spiderman filmed at cannon had to get out into the theaters before nine hundred ninety or they would lose the license to be able to make that film. However, the bankrupt cannon could not afford, the licenses in fact, the proverbial checks ended up getting balanced. They couldn't afford these properties any longer had to let them go. So they ended up having to make this other film out of what was left of these props and try to make it make some sort of sense the entire production from concept to wrap was completed in less than three and a half weeks, although JEAN CLAUDE van Damme. Who did not like what he saw when he saw this film asked for a couple of more months to work with it to reedit and spice things up and give the fight scenes. A better feel for. For the action because the test readings were poor at one particular one. They were a hundred people in attendance and only one of them had a favorable opinion of what the film stood for at that time, a believe it or not despite looking like, the shoddy film is slapped together by a gaggle of amateurs, there is a director's cut that has been released on DVD, reportedly it was found from VHS Tele scene that was discovered many years later by the original person who was scoring the film together. He had this Telecy to try to put his own tracks over it. But then the film was never completed in that state. And that's reportedly the only version that was close to peons original vision that is still intact. The director ended up re editing that film from this unfinished an unpolished material which really has no reference to the play or it's radically as the main goal, and it restored a lot more of the religious undercurrent. He emblazoned it as the director's cut. And then he sold it himself. You could go to his website and buy it to those people in the public who were curious ended up getting. Fancier release back in twenty thirteen from Germany that splices the poor-quality Tele seen in as one complete movie with the theatrical cut scenes, and that would come out on Blu Ray and DVD later as Slinger to differentiate it from cyborg, even though if you watch that film, it really does suffer from the videotape sourcing when they keep referring back to that. Original Tele seen the set-pieces in cyborg are very prolonged you would expect that from JC action flick. They're very absurd. One takes place on what appears to be the world's largest sewer system. And another in this seemingly abandoned factory space that they rented out to accommodate a very large extended male aides easily apparent from the way that the scenes are chopped together that they were using a lot of the same actors multiple times in different shots with different garb to make it look like this marauder gang is a lot larger than what it actually was the rest includes scenes the beach or the plains areas where there's a lot of junk that the ended up renting to be deposited there too. There's this post apocalyptic scenario going on junk live van Damme would end up getting sued for this film, very famously for nearly half million dollars. He ended up injuring a fellow actor in the he partially blinded him he lost sight in one of his is because of this prop rubber knife. That ended up striking his eye during a fight scene. There was a court case followed it revealed that junk van Damme really had a penchant for not being able to pull his punches so to speak while he's fighting. He actually would often strike the other actors mostly because he wanted his hits to look real within the course of the film, and that resulted in a lot of injuries to fellow actors over the years this one being probably the most serious van Damme. Vowed after that experience to never make any more movies in the United States because he lost that case. But of course, as you know, that did not happen the violence here, whether you consider real or fake within the film, originally got cyborg an x rating, by the way, they considered it way too bloody and brutal and that prompted of. National last minute edits to make this choppy, film, even choppier cyborg. Maybe I guess you would consider it trash for most people. But I think that van Damme's cloud as an action star would be enough to catapult to great success. Nonetheless at the box office had a reported budget as I mentioned about half million dollars. It would score over ten million dollars at the US box office alone with double that in international markets. It was a huge hit for a film company that desperately needed to hit. However, they mostly used it to try to cover some of their debts. They went bankrupt. Anyway, so with a lot of silly, costumes. I mean, you have flashback scenes from Gibson's youth that sees him sporting this really ridiculous looking blond mullet wig, there's questionable weaponry here. You know, van Damme kicks out a switchblade tipped boot really seems out of place here given that you'd really did not have to hide any weapons in this post apocalyptic world. In fact, it's probably your advantage. Let everybody know that you're armed cartoonish characters awful music and sound unconv-. Syncing special vex is the kind of movie they really should only be attempted by unabashed van Damme fans or Sifi heads you really love their post apocalyptic tales to be as cheesy and violent as can be. If you have a really throng love for B movies. This is probably going to be right up. Your alley. I think most mainstream movie goers would consider this almost unwatchable. Although it is forgotten pretty much the world except for van Damme. Aficionados I think that this film would have a very dubious distinction of being one of the films that featured in Roger Ebert book called. I hated hated hated this movie, which is a compilation of the movies that he gave the worst reviews to over the years. I don't think that's really a feather in the cap from the makers of this film the entire production. Really does just let cheap and it plays like amateur hours at the movies. I would say for a knock off the road warrior. It is definitely not Mad Max where the so I'm giving cyborg, and I realize it has its fans, and you know, I posted that I was going to be reviewing this on Twitter. Got a quite a few responses from people that say that they actually really. This movie. So, you know, there are people that are going to like this movie, but I'm far from being able to recommend this is not the kind of movie that I would recommend to most people. So I'm going to have to give it one and a half stars out of four one and half stars means that I do consider it a pretty poor movie very shoddy van Damme here, although he's usually appealing. He doesn't get to be as charismatic as he is in most movies. Thanks, everyone for listening of that you enjoyed this review. Even though I know that there are a lot of fans who were probably listening to this to try to get a fantastic, I'm not necessarily a fantail penna person. But even bad ones, I find enjoyment in somewhere within me kind of like some of these movies on a certain level. Even if I don't recommend them to most people speaking of movies and B movies that I probably won't recommend necessarily. I'm going to go to Italy for the next movie. It's a film in Italy. It was called vendetta adulthood, Douro. But in the United States and other English speaking parts of the world, it is called hands of steel starring Daniel. It also has a John Saxon in it as a lot of Italian films and doing at that time about an evil industrialist who creates cyborg who is seventy percent robot. Thirty percent human that is going to be my review for next week. So check that out very can't be moving Sifi in all the best and worst ways. So check that out for next week hands of steel to round out our cyborg films of the nineteen eight so something to look forward to there for you low budget heads until next time. I appreciate everyone. Joining me on this trip around the world in eighties movies.

JEAN CLAUDE van Damme Gibson Rickenbacker Slinger United States director Sifi Darth Vader Vince Leo intern Chuck Norris Debra Richter Alex Daniels Vincent Klein kitty Chalmers John Saxon Italy the cannon group Golan Globus Katie Chalmers Naty Simmons Sifi