20 Episode results for "Clarice"

Target USA -- Episode 183: Russian operatives harass, intimidate American journalists in Africa

Target USA Podcast by WTOP

30:26 min | 1 year ago

Target USA -- Episode 183: Russian operatives harass, intimidate American journalists in Africa

"From podcast one coming up in this episode of target u._s._a. We were being followed and being filmed by someone. Surreptitiously <hes> standing in the hotel lobby was my colleague standing outside the airport and so that is unnerving u._s._a. U._s._a. talked with c._n._n. Chief international correspondent clarice award about a troubling incident in the central african republic as they were on the trail of what's known as putin's army the wagner group three russian journalists were actually killed while they were working on a story about russian mercenary activity in the country after being followed and harassed ward and her crew knew that this was a serious situation. Our security guys stayed up throughout the night watching coaching the gate of this tiny motel that we were staying in. You know if they're getting this nervous then. Obviously we're hitting a nerve. We explored what they're so sensitive about and the fact that they're actually harassing americans that aren't even in russia coming along on this edition of target u._s._a. National security podcast light cast from w._t._o. In washington d._c. This is target u._s._a. Russia could render huge arm to this country north korea's secret missile capable of reaching the whole of the united states dangerous terrorist d._c. Is repeatedly mentioned someplace. They would like to see an attack cyber criminals successful america as a target on its back and on this program we investigate the gate the threats the people behind them the agencies fighting them and the impact on you. This is target u._s._a. The national smell security podcast. I'm jay jay green. It's rare that i interview other journalists on this podcast but the potency agency of clarice awards reporting from the central african republic for c._n._n. Is undeniable. The willingness to go into a foreign country took cover a story about dangerous shadowy organisation believed to have murdered other journalists in the very same place embodies bravery free true dedicated passion for journalism and shrewdness. The team navigated a complicated sometimes hostile environment in the central african republic public and then in russia with very few security assurances to report on a national and international security story. That's rivaled by very few. We'll talk toward about the story the challenges and the outcome but i she sets the scene for us this. This is all for years. He says he worked as a hired gun. In syria for a shadowy russian mercenary group called wagner that has become a valuable tool for the kremlin wagner is putin's instrument for resolving issues by force when action has to be taken immediately immediately in the most concealed way possible. I cannot say it's an army in the proper sense of that word. It's just a fighting unit. That will do anything that incense is the first time a former faulkner employee has agreed to speak on camera at all like asked us to to disguise his identity private. Military contractors are illegal in russia. Officially wagner doesn't exist but c._n._n. And his discovered that the group now has hundreds of fighters operating on three different continents and this is the man believed to be behind that expansion dubbed putin's chef because of lucrative catering contracts with the kremlin. You've guinea pretty. Gordon is also sanctioned by the u._s. For funding the internet research agency accused of meddling in the twenty sixteen election at now our interview with clarice awarded c._n._n.'s chief international correspondent of course this is some great reporting and having followed your reporting for a long time. It's no surprise to me that you were doing something like this. This is an extremely dangerous situation but it's an important story and four the effort that you in invested in the story ori apparently russia putin somebody there got upset about this and decided to try to harass you troll you so tell tell us what they were doing to you and then maybe back into the story from their short. Well first of all. Thank you so much for your kind words j._j. And for having me on to talk about this this story which i have almost a year of my life into along with my colleague sebastian shukla and tim lister so i really appreciate that and i think none of us in this industry at this stage are strangers to sort of russian misinformation or propaganda campaigns <hes> what was different about this was that they released fifteen minute documentary about our teams work particularly in the central african republic and fifteen minutes is a long time and it takes a lot of effort and it was filled with lies which i guess is not surprising but they had actually managed to find people people who i don't know how they coerce them or cajoled him into saying this but who claimed that we had bribed them to say bad things about the russians. It's <hes> there was a scene that they shot in my hotel room. We're <unk> where i've been staying in the central african republic where man is sort of showing the reporter around the room and saying yes. The woman was sitting right here on her computer and she told me she'd give me a hundred dollars to say bad things about russians and then the reporter's shows him my sort of bio photograph on the c._n._n. Website and says is this the woman and he says yes it was and then there's another scene where it appears. We were being followed and being filmed by someone surreptitiously <hes> standing in the hotel lobby with my colleague standing ending outside the airport and so that is unnerving because particularly when we talk about the central african republic. It's important to remember that this is a dangerous and chaotic place place <hes> that has been in the throes of civil unrest for six years. It's also important to remember that three russian journalists were actually killed at and while they were working on a story about russian mercenary activity in the country so the risks are real here and <hes> and and we certainly took that that seriously and we were very uncomfortable with that in addition to the sort of online harassment and the fifteen minute documentary we actually experienced <unk> russians following us around town particularly when we left the main town to try to visit a mine that was being run by the russians sion's and and that was extremely unnerving because then you know it's not it's not a game anymore. It's it's dangerous. People can get hurt and the thought that kept going through. Oh i think all of our heads was you know if they're getting nervous if they're making this much effort to follow us to harass us to then afterwards launch an online and fifteen minute documentary saying that we were bribing people then obviously we're hitting a nerve obviously this is important and obviously they don't want people to talk about it. Did they try or was there any evidence <hes> that they were actually going to harm you. Did they actually try to harm you know they did not try to harm us and and <hes> and i should say they had to sort of streams going on at the same time on the one hand were being followed around by a truck full of russian guys with no license plate who would sort of wait outside our hotel and then we will get close. They would drive often than what we would get close. They would disappear. We tried to approach them. They would leave then on on the other hand. You have the sort of face of the russian presence in the central african republic unmanned colville larry's hot off who was very charming to us who who <hes> gave us access to the training facility who didn't interview with gus and we did two different trips to the central african republican. I think on the first trip we were you know not beguiled by a hot off <hes> and his aides but certainly they were very gracious with us. They generous with their time and they were generous with their access. It was only when we decided to come back for a second trip because we felt like there was some more digging we needed to do that. We saw a completely clearly different side of the russian president's in the cer as it's called and and you know i have no doubt that things could potentially attention have got dangerous and certainly that night after we were being followed and we were in a small mining town outside of the capitol. I don't think any of us slept very well. Our security guys stayed up throughout the night watching the gate of this tiny motel that we were staying in because you know what happens in these situations ends jayjay. It's it's not even that someone tries to kill you but if if someone has a lot of influence in a dangerous and chaotic country with a lot of militias <hes> working there then you're at risk of <hes> of violence potentially that might not even been explicitly ordered but you just create a culture culture whereby it's clear what you think of journalists what you think of these specific journalists and that makes it dangerous for us to do our work absolutely you're exactly right and you're talking about the central african republican those journalists. I do recall myself reaching out to the mikhail khodorkovsky. He's <hes> center who was connected connected with these people <hes> and getting some of the initial details about their their their killing and realizing from other sources. The people just like this have been gaining promotion in your piece you mentioned him has been active in sudan madagascar so this is a very large organization clearly connected to russia so just tell us now why they were so upset with you or why they were going after you. What did you do well. I think to be honest. We couldn't quite work it out because you we were a going back because we wanted to go and visit we knew that they had been given access us to these seven different mining sites and so we wanted to visit the mines and find out what the russian mercenaries were doing there and why it was that the same people who our training troops apparently with the blessing of the u._n. Are also <hes> meanwhile you know <hes> operating mines or guarding minds and you know it's it's not unusual to have private military contractors operating in different countries. What's unusual is that the same group is also sponsoring. A radio station is also in charge of the <hes> mining contracts is also in charge of the <hes> internet research agency also known as the troll factory and so so you have all of these seemingly very different businesses <hes> under the control of one man who many analysts will say is essentially just a front for the kremlin rambling because it allows the kremlin plausible deniability they can say they have nothing to do with it and they can meanwhile continued to experiment with moving into different countries so oh but as your specific question of why would they be so threatened by our reporting. It's important to remember that really <hes> no other western. Journalists are very very few others that i can think of and certainly no other t._v. Have gone to the central african republic to tell this story and i think they are very concerned that we were doing some digging on the murder of the three journalists and i should say we don't know exactly who killed those three journalists and we probably never will because you know the the the people on the ground there have made it impossible for a thorough a meaningful independent investigation to be carried out so i think there was some concern that we will be reporting on that <hes> or that we would be creating what they called sensational reporting and but i think in the process they really showed their true colors and show what they are really capable of and what they really stink of journalists and how they value or are devalue the work we do know we've talked about <hes> give gaining promotion just a bit but <hes> and we know some of us know who he is and what his connection is to the russian government but at the end of the day who does <hes> golden actually answer to well exactly i mean this is the million dollar question and it's something that analysts are endlessly discussing because basically you have this group wagner group and by now they've sort of recreated one hundred different times and given it different names but it's still basically wagner group and it is under the control of a man while originally dmitri youth gin who is listed as a board member on a number of precaution companies and then at the top or believed to be at the top as you have guinea pig ocean. He's from some petersburg like president putin. He has been nicknamed president putin's chef or putin's jeff because of these lucrative catering contracts that he has with the kremlin and he has been sanctioned by the u._s. for his role in meddling in the two thousand sixteen u._s. election and specifically for his role role in creating the troll factory or the internet research agency so he is immensely powerful. Now the question really becomes is he just a front for the kremlin as some people have suggested or is he operating as a legitimate private citizen <hes> in you know something of an entrepreneur. I think one thing that all analysts can agree upon is that it is absolutely inconceivable that a man dan le vian no matter how popular powerful he is would be able to run misinformation campaigns mercenary expeditionary forces verses and businesses across three different continents that have serious implications for russia's sort of geopolitical strategies. He's if there was not a direct order or certainly a direct blessing from the kremlin now the the interesting question that a lot of analysts us are also asking is how successful has wagner been because there have been some huge huge debacles for example a louis when a hundred wagner fighters were killed by u._s. Air strikes because they were so bold or so stupid as to try to launch an attack on a base that was filled with forces who are backed by the u._s. and so the u._s. Launched airstrikes dozens and dozens were killed in the kremlin was able to shrug their shoulders was and say hey listen. We've got nothing to do with this and that's of course why they like these guys right because there's plausible deniability but nonetheless it was embarrassing for the kremlin and there's a sense that even in the central african republic where we were focused. They're not really having much luck extracting these diamonds and gold despite their best efforts <hes> the murder murder of the journalist was extremely damaging from that for them from a p._r. Point of view i dare say our reporting is also not going to help with their public image <hes> so so it's not necessarily been a huge success story for the kremlin but nonetheless hard to believe that they could be pulling off some of the audacious moves is that they have without a very real sense of approval coming straight from the top listening to your report watching your report with all the chain smoker worker uncovered something very dangerous for the putin government and and specifically <hes> the u._s. It's motives for the u._s. And i would say by by the same token. It's a very very concerning situation or should be for the u._s. As well <hes> tell us what told you so so all egg basically when we asked him he worked as a mercenary for wagner for several years spent a lot of time going in and out of syria. We asked him so you know whether wagner was about russia trying to reassert itself as a superpower to which he said one hundred percent that is the goal and we asked whether they were trying to sort love set themselves up as a rival to the u._s. and and what he said in response really stayed with me. He said russia is trying to get get the better of the u._s. To smash the u._s. to do whatever it can essentially to thwart the u._s. Using legal and illegal means and what will come some of it. He said i don't know but i don't think anything good now. Of course it's important to keep in context particularly when you're talking about wagner <hes> on a military tori level <hes> these guys do not even come close to u._s. Forces u._s. private military contractors they do not bear any kind kind of a real threat or present any kind of a real threat to the u._s. But the broader threat that that i think has emerged that many people are already aware of is this use of hybrid warfare that the russians understand. They're never going to beat the u._s. In a straightforward battle on on a battleground on a front line but if they use misinformation campaigns if they use mercenaries who can't really be were you can't really say who they are are where they come from or who they're loyal to our who they answer to using these kinds of tactics what you're able to do is a increase russian russian geopolitical relevance and influence at a time where particularly in africa the u._s. is kind of scaling back and shrinking its footprint and be you're able oh to try to outmaneuver russia's geopolitical rivals and whether that might be former <hes> in in former french colonies like the central central african republic whether that might be france whether that might be the u._s. and i think the u._s. is certainly the prize for russia because russia wants to be seen and as an equal to the u._s. As being on similar footing to the u._s. and the reality is that in in sort of geopolitical article in strategic and economic relevance. They are not and many analysts say that is really what kind of motivates a lot of this behavior but obviously honestly when you have someone really coloring outside the lines and sort of abandoning diplomatic protocol abandoning the the rule book if you will for the sort of international engagement then you have real concerns that dangerous things can happen that people can get hurt that people can get killed and certainly we've. We've seen that already play layout you you said at the very beginning of our conversation. None of us is really a stranger to russia's underhanded p._r. Tactics how forty you think they would go though based on what they did with you. Have you seen anything like what they did to you and your team before when i was covering <hes> <hes> syria very closely and i was one of the last international reporters to be inside the rebel-held part of aleppo and we witnessed a bombing of a fruit market market in a in a civilian area i had i was the victim of a very fierce troll attack that i have no doubt had its origins origins in russia because i was extremely critical through my reporting of russian air campaign that was largely targeting hospitals and markets in schools and and killing masses of civilians and it was deeply unpleasant. They were essentially saying that. I was a terrorist and and the allegations of this this nature what was a bit more concerning or a bit different about this was that i was actually being followed while we were in the central african republic cadet being harassed that we had people who were probably being paid to make up lies about us and and that sort of enters <hes> slightly unchartered waters for me at least and it does make me uncomfortable and it does make me question when i should go back to russia which is a real shame for me because you now honestly j._j. I've lived in russia twice before i speak russian. I love russia as a country <hes> many extraordinary in remarkable things about it so i hate to see it take on such a nasty and sinister and personal tone and we know that i am by no means the only victim there have been number of phishing campaigns that they have launched to try to target journalists who have been focused on investigative russian stories and and i have no doubt that this will continue and that it can potentially become <hes> even more dangerous and difficult for journalists who are trying to tell these types of stories stories so we are running out of time and i'm not going to keep you longer than we asked for but <hes> i do want to just run a couple of really quick things by you about about the future and about u._s. Russia relations we know as you said that russia's got this expertise in hybrid warfare and their those who question asking whether the u._s. gets that it's going to have to fight that battle on that <hes> on that level in order to continue to push back russia's which is efforts. I'm not sure that russia can achieve what alex said they want which is to smash the u._s. I don't think that can happen but i'm just wondering do you get the sense based based on what you saw in the central african republic and what we know is going on in other parts of africa which is essentially russia trying to sink its claws into those places does the u._s. Get the seriousness of what's going on. Is it prepared in your in your mind to deal with that. I think there's no question that particularly within the intelligence intelligence world and security services. There is a very real understanding. <hes> of the threat that russia poses of the threat that russia bose's is particularly as a resurgent russia <hes> in the aftermath of ukraine and joining in the fight in syria taking advantage of the vacuum that was created did <hes> when the u._s. essentially decided to opt out of intervening in syria after the red line was crossed with those chemical attacks in eastern kuta and the they saw that moment to step in and fill the void and since then of course you have seen them meddling in a number of places and even more extreme things the cripple attacks here in salisbury in the united kingdom where i am now where they're trying to use a serious serious serious weapon against <hes> you know a former russian citizens so it's clear that russia is committed to this and and will continue to do it because it's been very effective and the problem. I think that you have or what becomes clear is because the u._s. is so hamstrung. Oh politically that does tend to muddy the waters a little bit when it comes to delivering a decisive response and coming up with a coherent strategy to dealing with a threat like a resurgent russia because there is no such confusion and inconsistency in russia policy and that's largely because it's determined an edict by one man principally and that gives the russians and advantage and the democratic process <hes> while of course it has has countless benefits it also has moments where it can make it a little more difficult to form a coherent strategy and to respond accordingly accordingly but i do think that there is no question that within the intelligence community there is a very real sense that this is a serious threat that it will continue continue to be a serious threat and that <hes> the u._s. would be remiss in sort of dismissing it because it's easy to dismiss rush to say oh. Their economy is tiny. It's shrinking. It's crumbling rambling. It's all these problems beset with social issues. All of these are true that does not make it any less formidable of an adversary last two questions. It's anything about your reporting or your experience. That surprised you. What surprised me that i don't get into so much coach in the television. Pieces is that there is a younger generation of russians who are coming up <hes> the ones that we met and dealt with were working for three golden and they are very different to older generation russians who i am more familiar with they are not driven by greed in the same way why they are not as corrupt they are ideologues and nationalist but they are much more international extremely well educated multi-lingual google very savvy understand you know that we live in the era of mass communication and the power that <hes> that encapsulates and to me seeing these young men and women at work was was assigned to behold. It was a clear indication agenda. There are changes happening internally in russia and that it's only going to get more interesting to see how it continues to evolve. Hope is on the horizon last thing. Is there anything you want to add that. I haven't asked you about that. You think is important. No the only thing i would add is that would always strikes me with the russians is that there are plenty of other countries sending private military contractors around the world. There are plenty of other countries doing mining deals sales in other countries. There are plenty of other superpowers exploiting third world countries this is this is nothing new. The russians are not reinventing the we'll hear but what is so sort of striking about the way that the russians do it is with sort of utter contempt for transparency and and with no real sense of responsibility of owning up to things of being clear about what the strategy is who's responsible responsible for it. Who's at the helm what is government sanctioned what is not and then when they sort of infused that cocktail with these sort of poison pills deals like in the form of these propaganda documentaries calling us spies isn't saying we're paying bribes it sort of lays the groundwork for a really ugly scenario where things become so murky in so unpleasant that what might have been relatively benign activity suddenly takes takes on a much more sinister undertone yeah essentially <hes> set the trap for themselves. Clarisa war reporting is brilliant and i've had sought that for a long time and i'm so thankful that you took time to talk to us today. I appreciate the opportunity to hear your story. Thank you so much j._j. That means a lot really appreciate it. We've been talking with clarisa ward about putin's army the dangerous wagner group and perhaps more importantly the people win the shadows who run the organization which by the way is bold enough to intimidate and harass americans and others beyond russia's choose borders coming up in our next episode. They have money at their disposal. They slim weapons. They have material that they can use to build improvised. Explosive posted devices literally in caves. Isis is making a comeback u._s. Army colonel scott rowlinson spokesman for operation inherent resolve the u s led coalition of seventy five countries and five international organizations essentially kicked isis out of syria and iraq doc by october of last year but they still have as much as a half a billion dollars with that money does allow them to use for some of of their operations and he said they recognize what isis is trying to do. We're going after their capacity. We know they want to come back and to do that takes the ability into ability to finance operations and rollins and says they're going to stand in isis way an update from baghdad on the next edition of target target u._s._a. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions or comments about the program send me an email and jay green at w. t. p. dot com. That's the letter j the color green one word at whiskey tango oscar papa dot com. That's j. green at w. T. o. p. dot dot com. Follow us on twitter at t- u._s._a. Podcast that's at tango uniform sierra alpha podcast and if you're interested stayed in more national security developments sign up for my newsletter inside the skiff at w. t. o. p. dot com slash alerts learns. I'm jay jay green and this is target u._s._a. The national security broadcast calling all all true crime fans. The court junkie podcast is now once a week on podcast. One imagine being wrongfully convicted for a crime you didn't commit or killer alert is still on the loose. Even though there's enough evidence for an arrest the court junkie podcast shines a light on the injustices of the judicial system through deep deep dives into court documents and interviews with those closest to the case download new episodes of court junkie podcast every week on apple podcast cast and podcast one now stay tuned for the latest headlines from the associated press.

Russia russia president putin wagner kremlin syria jay jay green Chief international correspond washington africa ukraine north korea murder wagner group mikhail khodorkovsky clarice clarice award america reporter
Steve's Names and Junior's Sports Talk

Best of The Steve Harvey Morning Show

03:03 min | 8 months ago

Steve's Names and Junior's Sports Talk

"Steve for this strawberry letter. You were going to give us a list of names. person was born the Nineteenth Sept. okay, oh Were born before nineteen. Okay Patricia. Your laws or ill Louise? Heriot. I gave you Herbie oldest. Come see you. Nobody We we don't get any more. Anymore. Clarice Claire. Claire. Claire Didn't hear about that. Willis. Willis. Margaret Yup. Yeah Joey. Flat Or REEFA. Guoying! Care on his name, Carolyn. Carolyn Maryland. Both of them. He's a name to let you know you'll born. Nineteen seventy. All Right! Thank you sir onto junior now. For Genius About James Harden my city make the news for the wrong reasons. That Houston Rockets. Shooting Guard James Harden has a simple explanation for why he sported a pro-police facemask. Amid a national conversation over police brutality, he's ages like the way it looked. Say It just looks good what? I would try to make a political statement, but you did when you wrote. A man's been. You showed up the camp. At blue lives matter blue. This Blue Line is the. The they used for blue lives. Matter for the police. He got one old, and he black. What Hail? Stuff you could've put on. Is this man you could have our helmet in that? Way then looked. He isn't. It, covered his face and his beard that is not to reason, and we got all of this stuff going over police brutality. Now you GONNA win in way to go James. Waiting represent Houston. We not. GonNa win. That's what you got out of that. You're. Not GonNa. Win. All, right well. Thank you June you. We appreciate that coming up at the top of the Hour Carlos Music. Right after this you're listening to. Hardy morning show.

James Harden Clarice Claire Houston Rockets Carolyn Maryland Herbie oldest Joey Willis Heriot Nineteenth Margaret Yup Louise Patricia Steve Houston Hour Carlos Music Hardy
S05 E02 Extra: Breaking Bonds

Unexplained

20:33 min | 5 months ago

S05 E02 Extra: Breaking Bonds

"Introducing the fountain. Road files, a new horror fiction podcast from unexplained. Richard McLean Smith. In March twenty, twenty, twenty, seven year old cafe worker. Ben Williams began recording an audio diary of the coronavirus pandemic. Two months. Later, he was found dead in the south London flat where he was spending lockdown alone. Also he talked. Search, the Fountain Road Files Wherever you get your podcasts and more information go to the fountain. ROAD FILES DOT COM. Welcome to unexplained extra with me Richard. McLean, Smith. For the weeks in between episodes, we look at stories and ideas that for one reason or other didn't make it into the previous show. In the last episode, the Unceasing Cloud, we tracked the inadvertent consequences of Alexander, von Humboldt introduction of Guano to Europe. From the subsequent explosion of international crop yields to the discovery of the Hop Bosch Process to arrive eventually to world forever haunted by the spectre of chemical warfare. As for the Phantom Gasser of Bator County, the Jerry remains out as to whether the really had been a mystery perpetrator terrorizing the community or whether in fact, it had been gripped by kind of mass hysteria instead. Perhaps even a mixture of the two. At. The center of it all however was the looming and polarizing presence of chemist Fritz. Harbor. But the episode in danger of becoming too long for its own good. There was much about harbours life that I wasn't able to include. Not least of all, the inspiring and tragic story of harbors. First Wife. Clara Im- Avar. clower. IMMA. Var was born in eighteen seventy in a small town near Breslau in what used to be the Kingdom of Prussia. With the unification of Germany in eighteen seventy one, Breslau experienced an explosion of culture and industry becoming the sixth largest city in the German empire at its population tripled between eighteen, seventy, nine, thousand, nine, hundred. Being the daughter of a wealthy chemist who was also the owner for textiles store in Breslau Claro spent much of her time in the city inspired by its newfound dynamism and dreaming of becoming a scientist in her own right. However, such with social constraints of the day the education of two women was of a somewhat different variety to that the two men. The women's colleges it was known provided only what women were thought to need by the people in power at the time. Preparing them for what was considered to be their natural purpose as housewives, mothers, and companions of their husbands. There was also the teachers seminary in which you could study to become a teacher at the women's schools. Gaining employment as a science professional however was an impossibility for the simple reason that women were prohibited from officially enrolling at University. Without an official degree, you could not be employed. Women could however attend university classes in guest capacity. Provided they passed an entrance exam for which they were unlikely to have ever had the education for. And even if they could pass exam permission to attend, would still require the gaining of approval from the faculty and the support of a professor from the university. undeterred. Thanks to the support of her parents. Clara was able to enroll in private lessons and successfully passed the University of Breslau exam in eighteen ninety six at the age of twenty six. Later that year she enrolled as guest student. At Breslau Clara was taken under the wing of chemist. Richard are beg who cared little for guest status preferring to treat her as if she were an official student like anyone else. It was through our big that Clara was first introduced to his friend and fellow lecturer Fritz Ferber who was working at the University of cars for. The pair would meet again for some time. In the following years. Would become an important confidante of clarice to whom she would regularly right to express their frustration with the sexist attitudes he regularly came up against in the laboratory. Nonetheless. CLOWER persevered. and. With our bank is her PhD supervisor, she graduated with distinction in one, thousand, nine hundred. Becoming the first woman ever to receive a doctorate in chemistry from the University of Breslau. After graduation although still unable to work, she remained with our back as an unofficial lab assistant while making a living lecturing on chemistry at various women's organisations. With little else like it around at the time clarice lectures were immensely popular among women helping to popularize science for those who are largely denied access to it. Then in spring nineteen one. Clara receipt a letter from Fritz Harbour inviting her to accompany him to a conference in Freiburg. As it transpired harbor had struggled to forget Clara from the moment they'd first met. And was eager to impress her. At the Conference Harbor stunned Clara by proposing to her. which she accepted. Clara rope later that she accepted the proposal almost on a whim due to her belief that you should try and experience everything that life had to offer. It was certainly never her intention to let her professional career take a back seat to what might be expected of her as. Some have suggested that she may have envisioned. Harbor. Becoming successful team together much in the manner of Marie. Curie. who only a few years before had announced their discovery of radium to the world. In the first few months after moving to. Karlsruhe to live with Fritz clarity her best to balance the housework with tending meetings, Karlsruhe Universities, chemical society, and giving lectures. As the months went by however. This will become increasingly difficult and with the birth of her and Fritz, his son Hermann in nineteen two. Clara had little option but to put her professional ambitions on hold indefinitely. And Doshi doored doted on hermit within a few years Clara was forced to accept the professional ambitions had slipped permanently from her grasp. It. Was No doubt all the harder to take the twelve her career stagnated harbors truly began to flourish. By nineteen ten with Clara, only able to watch from the sidelines. Arbor established himself one of the greatest chemists of time with his work taking significant precedence over his personal life. Before Long Clara and Fritz also began to drift apart. Here of a wellness brand that makes it easy to maintain your health goals with the customized vitamin plan that helps you feel your best today and support you long-term using their hassle free service care of we'll make taking vitamins and supporting your health goals attainable with products that are formulated with good for you. Clean Ingredients that are backed by science. If like me, you're easily confused about just what vitamins might be lacking in your diet us care of in-depth five minute online quiz which asks questions about your diet lifestyle and health concerns. To, help address your specific needs care of super transparent about the research and sourcing behind every one of their products with extensive info available on their website and fun informative content on their social pages follow care of expert recommendations or just your packet anytime. What you receive is totally up to you for fifty percents off your I care of order go to take care of Dot Com and enter code unexplained five zero. Once again, that's take care of DOT COM and enter code unexplained five zero for fifty percent of your first order. In April nineteen ten came a particularly tough blow when clarice friend and mentor Richard Arberg was killed in a ballooning accident at the age of forty one. The following year she and Fritz moved to Berlin where harbour established the Film Institute for Physical Chemistry and Electro Chemistry and was made director of the Kaiser Society the leading German Science Organization of the day. With the outbreak war, a few years later harbor and his team were drafted in by the German military to begin the process of turning chemicals into viable weapons. hob is transition from pioneering chemist to weapons. Manufacturer did not sit well with Clara. Having already been uncomfortable with it morally after seeing firsthand the gruesome effect his experiments were having on the animals used for testing she became positively repulsed by the whole venture. The realities of all were brought home even more starkly when on December fourteenth nineteen. Fourteen. Auto Saka a close friend of the harbors and a colleague of Fritz's at the institute was experimenting with Caccavale Deal Chloride when it exploded in his face killing him instantly. Clara who'd been in the laboratory at the time watched it happen in front of her? Though the exact degree to which Clara opposed her husband's new line of work has been questioned by many. Some. Say she often pleaded with him again and again not to work on gas. Warfare. Harbor. However, felt his duty was ultimately to his country not as family. And that was what is country needed of him Harbor also famously saw no ethical difference between killing with gas and killing with the bullet. Five months later in April Nineteen fifteen. Clara and the rest of the world walked the news of that first devastating application of her husband's weapon but the press salient on the western front. Harper returned from the frontal week later and on the first of May a day before he was due to ship out again to supervise another attack this time on the eastern front. Gathering was held at his employer is home to. The success of the gas attack. But detached Clara Doni Watch on those in attendance. Lavished praise on harbor and congratulated him on his invaluable work for the war effort. It isn't known exactly what happened between the couple later that night only that at some point. Harbor retired to bed alone off to take into sleeping pills which become increasingly dependent on. By the time he woke up the following morning. Clara was dead. At some point, it's believed that after sitting down in her study to compose a series of letters to friends and family, she took her husband service revolver and headed out into the garden with it. After firing off one test shot she aimed the gun at her heart and pull the trigger. She was found dying moments later by a twelve year old son Herman. What is clear from letters of acquaintances that being the reluctant housewife Clara awards she was considered somewhat of an outlier by many of those in her and Fritz's social circle. Criticized by some fanatic setting locked picked on by others because she didn't make more of an effort to be more presentable. The suicide note if she did write them have never been published. Leaving many to speculate as to what her exact frame of mind was that night. Whether her death was due to the devastation of what her husband brought on the battlefield or merely on her life will never be entirely known. It's been speculated that harbor was having an affair at the time with Charlotte Nathan, the manager of a newly established. Political Club. And that Clara had walked in on them but the celebration dinner. This was later denied by. Nathan. After learning about his wife's death in the morning by the afternoon. Fritz harbor was already on his way to the eastern front. Some claim he made attempts to stay at home with his son only to be denied permission by the military. But this has not been verified. Two years later in one, thousand, nine, hundred, seventeen, he married Charlotte Nathan with whom he would go on to have two more children. As. Well, documented harbor would also go on to develop even more lethal chemical weapons. And at the war's end with controversially awarded the Nobel Prize for his contribution to the Harbour Bosh. Process. Though many would question his character. Few could deny his genius. The following year harbor through his institute founded the German. Society for pest control. Also known as DA. Gash. A STATE CONTROLLED INSTITUTION FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF PESTICIDES? But. Also the development chemical weapons. It was there in the nineteen twenties that scientists experimenting with Methyl Sino Mate developed a lethal pesticide released hydrogen cyanide when exposed to water and heat. Cyclone as it was called was soon banned due to its lethally. Despite his patriotism and all he done for his country during the war. Things would become increasingly difficult for harbor when Adolf Hitler and his National German Socialist Workers. Party. Came to power. Harbor was born into a Jewish family and despite his conversion to Christianity in the eighteen ninety s, it was not enough to save him from the rising tide of antisemitism. In, the Nineteen Thirties harbor was ordered to dismiss all Jewish personnel from his film institute. Though harbor was entitled to remain as Director of the institute he refused to do so. Delaying the sacking of his staff just long enough for them to find somewhere to go before we during himself. Harbor along with Charlotte and his three children moved to England where he worked for a brief time at Cambridge University. In one, thousand, nine, hundred, eighty, three, he was invited by invades men who would become the first president of Israel to work what was known by some as mandatory Palestine at the time. Harbor left for his new job in January the following year. which would never complete the journey dying on route to Palestine of heart failure. At the age of sixty five. After. The banning of cyclone developed under harbors guidance in the nine hundred twenty s. Chemist's alte here to Bruno Tash began working on a revised version of the product. Seeking to distinguish it from the earlier model, it was renamed Zyklon B. In August nineteen forty want call Fritz the SS chief in charge of prisoners at Auschwitz Concentration Camp Intrigued by the effectiveness of cyclone, be a delousing the clothes of the prisoners. Began experimenting with it for use as a possible human extermination device. In September, that year he tested Ital- on six hundred Russian prisoners of war. And two hundred and fifty sick prisoners in the basement of Auschwitz Block. Eleven. Camp Commandant Rudolf Hearse was so impressed by the results cyclone be gas was acted as the main method of killing at Auschwitz. Over the course of the next few years cycle, B would be used to kill upwards of one point one million mostly Jewish victims of the Holocaust. Including members of harbors own extended family. If you joy unexplained and would like to help supporters to now do so via Patriot. To receive access to add free episodes discount on merchandise as well as brand new video and audio content exclusive to Patriot amendments just go to Patriot DOT COM forward slash Pot to sign up. Or if you'd like to make a one time donation, you can go to unexplained podcasts, dot com Ford's life support. All donations no matter how large or small are greatly appreciated. Unexplained to book and audio book featuring ten stories that never before been covered on the show is now available to buy worldwide can purchase through Amazon Barnes and noble and waterstones lung stores. All elements of unexplained including the show's music produced by me rich Mcclain Smith. Please subscribe rate the show wherever you listen to podcasts and feel free to get in touch with any thoughts or ideas regarding the stories of show. But APPS, you have an explanation of your own. You'd like to share. You can reach US online but unexplained PODCAST DOT com. Twitter at unexplained pot and facebook at FACEBOOK DOT COM. Slash unexplained podcast. You need something to listen to next we'll check out this other show from cast media. Hi. Jacob. Tula. Jamie BB, we're your host of circle stocking. If each episode we're GonNa Bring you a new stalking case covering the INS and outs of each stalker, their victim and their stories. have any weapon what is that a gun a knife? She hated me so much. She found my stepmother Brendan her and then was caught making a plan to attack me with my stepmother. He shows up to my gallery and he's wearing space suit. He looks at me and he goes you look like Jessica Rabbit. From the Fifth Element, he looks at me very intensely and he goes and I'm GonNa Stock You. We hear about the cops do need thing or not really caring about the crime stock. There's a lot of the. The Predator who'd been stalking me for forty four years was starting to really interfere with my life and my freedom a lot more than he had been one of those random messages on my damn. It was like I'm coming and I'll see you on this date I was responding today, and then it was like a verification of a flight got sent. All I. Hear a knock at the door. So I opened the door and their day six foot something. In front of me with a backpack and he looks at me and he said, are you Erin kind of panicked because this isn't Larry. He followed me to my work late and he grabbed me push me into the door and was I I'm block unblocked may be blocked me I'm Jacob Tula Jamie BB strictly stocking mayors on January twenty. First, we subscribe on Apple Podcasts spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. Like God, this person won't stop texting me stop calling me showing up everywhere. Then that's when it's like you're like, Oh shit.

Long Clara Fritz Harbor Fritz harbor Dot Com Richard McLean Smith Breslau Clara Clara Im- Avar. clower Fritz clarice University of Breslau Clara Doni Breslau Conference Harbor London cyclone official Clara Mcclain Smith
Should wills be allowed to dictate the behavior of the living?

The Big Ones

55:29 min | 9 months ago

Should wills be allowed to dictate the behavior of the living?

"In. Production. I kill my own baby to save a village and I go back in time and kill what I take, the promotion at work with strings Italian muffins for the rest of my life if it meant. To would I have Satan's child? Hello everybody in welcome to the. Each week we discussed new ethical questions. Ranging from historical decisions to relationship problems to the brain. Busting moral choice is the questions can be. Questions can discuss. They're always talk about because they force you to look. Deep with inside yourself. Will you quit us? Maria sexy. We shall see. Yes, that's right, everyone you heard it here. There's only two of us. So it turns out like people? Have Lives, and you know it's I think people. The podcast circuit is closing and I think people are getting off the podcast trail well, it's closing in on us. I'll just say that because. I do feel like you know I I i. just people are going through a lot right now and in a way. We've sort of exhausted our guest resources. And of course we always have our classic standbys, and we will be asking some of them to come back on, but at this point I mean sometimes. We just can't Neyla. Guess Down, but I will say we're going to have a special visitor and a little bit. Really Yeah. I wonder who it could be. I'M NOT GONNA say. Is it morally. Might? Be Mocking to say who it is, but I'll just say that I'm married to him. Oh, my God. Mind, getting some weird feedback, let me try a different thing I'm going to. Try something new over here to try to I. Don't know why I'm getting feedback. Will you just talk for a second? Hello, this is Maria I'm sitting here on a summer's Day. It's it's June in Los, Angeles. Feel like a million feedback, y'all sudden a million bucks from A. Voice and as you just can't win. Wind up in. I. This is me. This is Maria how about now he's. Doing. Okay I guess I hear. A Hello Yeah Hi my name's. Maria and I'm here in La. I mean I'm I'm hearing myself. It's really annoying I'm hearing myself and my own headphones. I think need to try to. Hold on? Hello. Donna. Anna Don. Donna. While? I don't know. Can you hear me now? I can hear you okay, I somehow I fixed it. Well. That's great, good good job! Thank you so much. So, okay well anyway. Just going to be s for today and I mean maybe that's okay. Maybe and even if it's not okay, maybe it just is I think a great exercise for everyone to sort of be present. Be Okay with what's you know you can't always get cake? You know sometimes you get a jelly bean. You get what you get and you don't get upset. That's so true. Just get you just you know what it's better than nothing at all Although maybe it's not. That's a good question. That's something you and I kinda need to think about. So. Amanda I have a little interesting tidbit that I came across. Okay all right. I was told about it so. Everyone at home can play along to okay. Now you the everyone. Okay, get your computer in front of you. If you don't have your computer in front of you. If you're driving. Pull over right now. Okay, hold on, let me pull over. And if like you're on the treadmill, whatever just just stop running, get to your computer. Okay! Now go to this. Go to Google. Okay GOOGLE DOT COM A. K.. Google. How do you spell that? G? Google. K. G. Google. Okay. Yeah. I'm on so now. Think of a number between one and fifteen hundred okay. Okay. What is it you want me to tell you well? Just type it. Okay, just and everyone at home do this to. A number okay, and probably between like one in a thousand and Melissa statins listening and she's done in. She already did this. Okay, okay. You've thought of your number between one. Yes, I. Okay, everyone, including Amanda and including myself I want you to type in that number. Okay? Load by, do you? Do you spell it out or you just put the you put the numbers like okay you're you know you're grading a you know how hot someone is not. and then after the number just type in new cases okay? All right. What comes up. It says. To say my number, yes, air number six new cases in John. Okay I typed in six hundred fifty seven new cases, six, hundred fifty seven new cases in German. What I'm trying to tell you is every single number and you can try every single number. There is an article talking about new corona cases that number being the new corona case. Let's just typing. Type in five hundred one. Five hundred one new cases. Okay! This, just weird! Every single number is different. For five hundred one nothing came up. Oh. Yes did. You search for it? Yeah, where did you? What did you do I don't understand. Why is this? What does this? Well I don't know what it means, but it's weird, isn't it? That every single number is a corona virus statistic. Like type in like nine hundred ninety nine new cases. On all nine hundred ninety nine new cases like nine, hundred, ninety, nine new chronic cases in in Atlanta. Like. Why would every single number be a headline? What this is weird, right? Yeah! Like every number. Like eight. Eight hundred in three. Yes state total rises to eight hundred three. Like. How can there be every number? So this must be some sort of like. Trick or a scam? I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's like. But makes you think like? What if what if it's that like anything? You want to be true. They're making it true like you want there to be eight hundred four new cases, and then they're like Oh. Yeah, in north, Carolina eight hundred and four new cases six hours ago. It says there were eight hundred four new. Kate can someone. Who understands like the Internet explained to us why this is happening. Is that some sort of like search algorithm or what is going on 'cause? Let me try to look up this Amanda Lund. Strikes it rich. Nazeer. Seeing that, so, what if I type in Amanda? New cases. In Federal Lot Amanda this happened in January in federal lawsuit filed. Monday Amanda Lund argued she was retaliated. Oh my God you've you blew the whistle on Medicare fraud. I guess so in a federal lawsuit filed Monday and Lund argued retaliated against by mid West Post. Acute healthcare, which allegedly denied her pregnancy accommodation discriminated grenade against you because of your pregnancy and fired you illegally weeks before you gave birth. Well when I type in Maria will suci new cases just says meet the women who have neighbors to sorority rising failing grade with them. But okay, so, what in your mind? What is this mean? I have no I truly have no idea, but it's so weird. Is it just that there's every day? They've been doing counts all around the world, so any number that statistically the chances are that? It's a number that there's been a case. One day. They had that many numbers like if you're like these tallies are coming in from literally like every city every state. In every county in every state in every country around the world, so maybe the chances are that when you type in any number, it correlates with some new case. Yeah that could that could be. Let me. Try Typing like one hundred sixty five thousand new cases. Will that's a lot of guy? I don't even think there's that many cases see I think what's happening. Is that so for like three months now? These numbers have been being released every day on a minute there is that I type that in and I got one. You did. Yeah Is nearing one hundred, sixty, five thousand corona think. Okay I'm going to type in like three hundred and fifty thousand. New cases. No well yeah. There's. I don't know I don't know. Conjured eighty nine. Yeah, put in like. Okay? There's nothing for six, thousand, seven, hundred and two, so I just poked a hole in your whole theory. Wow so that that is the magic number. That's my new lucky number. That's crazy. I found a number. You did find it what you should not be your new You should go to Vegas. Your money on six, thousand, seven hundred. And two don't get it twisted so I think what I said was right that these tallies have just been coming in to the point where every sort of. Combination of numbers up to a certain point has been reported on so I think that's what we're looking at here. which is well, that's which is crazy. I mean that's that's really scary about I mean. we have a visitor. Got Something to say podcasts Milan guage and nothing rhymes with language except for Peter Dangling. I'm use our visitor here. Oh, you had a rhyme, sorry. It wasn't going to be rhyme I was just gonNA. Go well well if it isn't you know fill in the blink. That's an crime. That's a great rhyme. Knows what rhyme means. I'm means it's time to have some fine. Mine. Time there's no place like a podcast to rhyme with mine and to do a mime watch this uh-huh walking against the wind tug a war. Teacup dance. Paper Chase Mardi that's inappropriate. So do we have deer big ones Maria that we think would be fun to do quickly with math. Yeah, with this guy. You know my name, yes. Matt Gourley, asking my wife. Shane. Come okay. Shane courtesy, you wish. Would Jane Carter. Shane man so this is this has been sent in. Okay! I'm not going to say their name yet because we don't know if they WANNA be pronounced. That Amanda has one of her headphone cans on her ear. The other is somehow like tweaked up to her forehead, facing out which I am leaning onto one ear and we're both about. Five inches from the Mike. Claimed in our front window, looking out to the street. Walking by would be oh, conjoined twins live there, so they say I've listened to every episode up till twenty twenty. Love Your podcast so much up till twenty twenty. That's when you changed. Yeah! I have a little big one of my own. My brother works in marketing for a tech startup and he's worried about the long term future with the company. He's looking for a new job in recently interviewed with another company that would pay him thirty thousand more per year. The one catch is it's the hush APP. Do you know what that is It sounds familiar. Apparently. Most people use this. APP disguise communication so they can cheat on their spouses. So, is he bright to think it's immoral to work for such a company or should he risk his own future? Is the tool used by people to do questionable things in itself wrong? And then he gives what he thinks he should. He should do And All should I just say that? I think he should take the job. The company isn't designed for helping cheating spouses. Used that way. It's not Ashley Madison after all. Help me help him. interesting I mean I WANNA learn more a little bit. About what is it called the hush. Matt Care Will. Take your phone away. Good Shayne! Carter, and Ashley Madison are seen. Carter Straits again. They say anything about what the guy himself feels like. Is He no struggle? As long as the company coach sure at Hush enterprises isn't sort of you know doing isn't derelict. then. Go ahead of me and I just have what the hushed up is okay, we'll go. Yeah, that would be good to know. Hushed is an APP that puts a second phone number on your phone and offers complete anonymity for texting calling voicemails and auto replies. No good can come from this. Yeah, what's the point of south? Would it be like if you a work phone or something and you don't want it. It's for people who want privacy and anonymity with their phone. Don't want their phone numbers spreading throughout the world that being said this isn't necessarily an APP for sketchy people. Hush can be used for facilitating deals on craigslist. AIRBNB be a blind date or any situation in which you're not keen on using your real number. So I see the value when you say that. I mean also you know as far maybe it would be something that like the black lives matter movement would wanna use because I. Know I've heard theories about people's safety their. Their personal information on their phones being hacked at the rally, so they got put on sort of database and the white supremacists for coordinating attacks. Yeah I mean that is the. They gotta get that thing that your mom gave you were. People can't scan your cards. Right, it was like these little in searches, a little cards that you put your credit card and these little full, and it was to stop people from stealing your information. Because they can walk by matinee and scan your information the CAN. They literally can. Criminals well, the people the criminals because it chip in your car, you can skid. They can scan the really. Get your information like that. They can't why are you? You're too old ladies to sit on course going Irene chanter cards scan well. She's on Russia. Is that Shayne Carter? Up I'm not doubting. It's true, but I don't think it's. Otherwise! Why would they be selling these little? Hush APP does seem I would just say as long as the company culture wants. They want the APP to be used for good, and they're not like promoting it I. Don't know. Maybe it would be a good experience, but I have fear is that it's sort of a company. Well why Amanda they? Haven't you know this could be run by a woman? I doubt that, but let's look who. Hush. That could be a woman or man. Oh God! That's the difference in different shop with. That's not the guy who does the clear. That one like facial recognition. Now that's really bad. It's says that guy's name because. I forget but that that's yeah. That's not good. I can't hushed with an E D o See! That's where I'm running into problems, okay? Hushed advice founder. Justin Chamoun. I say no just off the name. I'm I mean I'm had already up to here with social media and these weird kind of APPs and stuff, so I guess I'm a no to. It sounds like there's a plausible deniability, but with a name like hushed. It seems like it knows what it's doing and it. Certainly that's not the case. People are using it for that reason so. Ugly, it shouldn't be named because hushed is very. It's got sexual connotations. It should be like it should be like wall up or like or like all you know like you can't get through this up. Up. I'm not tone this guy what to do. It I wouldn't do it well. It sounds to me like the guy. It's not aligning with his personal values and I think that you probably in the long term are better off waiting for a job that you are more excited about and don't have mixed feelings about I bet there's also some possibility of a risk of this APP getting embroiled in some kind of giant scandal of some kind, and then being at the center of a freedom of speech thing, and then what if he had something to do with some correspondence, and then either gets tangled up in a legal battle and. You know. I know I know I. Don't know. Let me just like Justin. Shamu Shinmun see what I can find out about them. I saw a picture of him. Let's see here. Let me go to his Oh. He's got a website. I'm sure he does. Shinmun, DOT COM yeah. Isn't that a fight Song Musher boom? No what Michael Jackson used to say Shimin. So I don't know I mean I don't know Justin shipments like a perfectly nice man, but. I, would I think for me? I'm a no and thank you for the offer. Justin! Thank you just and but I don't trust you as far as I can text you well, you. Have you seen what he's? He what advice he would give to his younger self. Because Justin Shimon says that he would tell his younger self to be patient, always integrate your ideas, because usually the first idea is not the best. He says okay. This is his twitter bio, entrepreneur and creator of hushed APP and affinity. Click believer of all things private so I mean listen I understand wanting to protect yourself and privacy and your personal information because I know we're all aware of that But at the same time it does seem a now matches clicked on why Ben. Affleck is trending on twitter. Well, we know. And, but can I can I. Ask this if it wasn't called hushed, it was called brick up. would. Would you feel know how the Hell did? They get to that name. Okay but up if it. Yeah if if wall up or break-up. Riyadh also sounds like break up. Break up your marriage, okay? What if it's its iron iron wall? Is the name of it kind of like Berlin like reminds me of okay well. Trying to get, I mean What if what if it's just like armor? Go. What is called look away. No or mind your own. No. How `bout? How `Bout Beeswax? No because all of this is still playful. I'm talking about what if it was like? Locked locked up. Away. Under! Our like secure text yet secure, okay, if secure taxed is the name of the company is, does that make different yet does for me it does for me to. Really because then, obviously, this is going to be used by criminals and lowlifes and. Now. Who sounds like? I know. What do you mean localize? Riffraff and that sort well, because it seems like if it was called security, what did you call it? Amanda secured security safes. Halted it wasn't secure. I called it secure. Tech safety box secure taxed. I think it was secure tax. Okay, secure tax are maybe whatever if it's secure six tax, then then what you're thinking of is that it's more of a privacy thing in like not wanting to get your information out in the worlds of like people being able to use it or hushed makes it feel very like ooh, I wanna say something, and then it will get deleted, and no one will ever see you know. Her. Yeah, this is actually crazy and it's making you. WanNa use hush. Because after I looked at that guys profile. My recommended person to follow was duck duck. Go, which as we know is a secure web search server. I use that. I that Goto, so and talk about a playful name year I know but if that was called, Hush Hush, hush, hush, Hush Hush. I don't think duck duck goes that good though I find myself having to go to Google to really go all the time all the time. But the other thing that may be the problem with hushed is that isn't what is it? WHAT'S APP! Is that the one all the political people us right now, so maybe especially because Justin. Shimon only has nine hundred twitter followers. Maybe this thing isn't going anywhere anyway. That's a concern. That's the Bait. That's a big concern. Yeah, he should have more followers for the amount of advice. He's giving to his younger so. Follow his younger self. And now I love because I. see that duct go is followed by the alarmist podcast. because. That's the server that Chris. Our fact checker uses and he. He's reminding me he's not. He's the worst fact checker it. There is nothing odd doctor. Go worth searching for yeah. Well thank you Marty for joining us. And look whoever the worker is. And Good luck to you. To you go back on the porch. Okay. Bye Bye. So. I, just I just want to tell you one more thing that justice Shinmun said Oh please yeah. He because we're business, women and I think he, he could maybe our mentor from Far Afar O or US close. Yeah, he said. What is one strategy that has helped you grow your business and Justin. Says we focused on getting product or MVP minimum viable product out as quickly as possible usually within three months. Listen to your customers. They will tell you pretty easily if the product has legs, so that's an interesting thing. Well that's why they didn't have a lot of time to workshop the name. That's right, but I. think that's a really good model of like instead of incubating, which is what TV is and movies is like. Let's incubated. Let's like spent twelve years. Figuring out what the idea is and it's like no just get something out there and see if it hits. Exactly because you can spend your. Your whole life perfecting something only to find out that no one wants it anyway. And yes, and isn't that a hard lesson to learn? So I think just in Shinmun, is maybe our mentor of he's he's. He's really kind of got me in his claws. F. All right so the ask. Is it time to do? Ask Oh. Yes, yes, yes, okay. Well in the words of Justin Shibam. Don't spend so much time thinking about what you're GonNa Right. Just get out there. Get on Apple podcasts and right Madam, thing I mean. Use It as I. Know a lot of you guys are. Have your nine defies, but we all know the the big ones are creed of lot, and that you all have hidden creative aspirations, maybe use writing an an as an opportune writing a review as an opportunity to to practice your craft like make a short story. Yeah and we'll read if it's a short story, then we'll definitely read it. Cabin crabbing crew. Yeah, so anyway rate and review and tell your friends about the podcast. In joyner Patriot you guys because. It's a lot of fun. It's like basically if you're not in the Patriots, it's like there's this awesome pool party going on in. You weren't even like you're invited, but you. You thought like that. You just stay home and watch like Gilmore girls instead of going. Yeah, which does sound really way more? No, it's so nice, but it's like that's so. That's great like whatever, but then also everyone had the best time of their lives at the Pool, Party And you can stay home next weekend. Watch Gilmore Girls. We yeah, you could even watch gilmore girls when you get home. That night which I think is even nicer. You go after a day at the pool in like partying and whatever you go, take a shower. You get into bed and you watch damore girls. Yeah. All right well, we're going to take a break and when we come back, we're GONNA do a big big big big big one. Well here we are back everyone. Thanks for tuning in again. In Amanda just an update with the dungeons and dragons. We're going to set up a date to do that so sadler awesome, and so, how are we gonNA? We'll work out the details we'll work. That might be a patriotic episode. I think it should now let's go to the big big one here it is. Oh. Kay. This is coming in from a listener Emma. Is from the eighteenth century. piss word I don't know a pistol, Ollery, novel, epistolary, novel, Clarisa or the history of a young lady by Samuel Richardson, it comes from fifteen hundred page novel, so the moral questions need some context Clarissa Harlow is the youngest daughter of a well off middle class family and has recently come into the world. Come into the whole of her grandfather's estate, making her Assad. Woman a man her brother despises has made intentions, Clarisa, but her family will not allow it since he almost kills her brother and does a notorious rake. What is a break? We'll look it up like it. Okay. A rake is an an a piece of equipment with prongs to gather material interesting. Okay good to know. Another definition. Is. A libertine and then I have to look Libertine, a free thinker, especially in religious matters I. She proceeded with the correspondent with him in an effort to avoid further mischief as Carlos become more and more strict with Clarisa and banned her from writing or receiving any letters, because she will not marry an alternate in odious man, she agrees to meet lovelace the rake to tell them she will allow him to save her from the prison with inside her home. She decides not to go during the meeting when she is telling him she can't. He tricks her and whisks Clarisa away. For the next couple of months lovelace keeps clarice a hostage through the use of social rules and manipulation, emotionally abusing her reading, altering her letters, when bad information is revealed to her by her best friend, and eventually raping her clerk of finally escapes and sets her affairs in order since she will not recover from the emotional toll of the past year. Her life her will, it's very specific is very specific. Specific and she implores her executor to complete the last wishes to t one of which is the mandate that lovelace should not be murdered for his sins against her. She wants to live a full life so that he may have time to reform and turn his life around for the crimes. Clarisa has forgiven him for her cousin Morton Morton while the I love. That name was not on the continent. Morning Glory I love that name Gordon wording. Chorley I love it? More than was not on the continent for most of the debacle and could have helped. Stop it the first error of the family driving clear from the house. He arrives just in time to say goodbye to his your cousin and promises her. He will not kill lovely. Months, after however Morton find himself in the same city as lovely and he contacts Morton, who challenges lovelace to a duel. Is it right to disobey the wishes of your favorite, and Moses virtuous cousin to get revenge on the man who ruined her or should lovely be given a second chance, even though he is showing no signs of reform. Other aspects of the will were followed through. Is it okay to ignore? One mandate should be allowed to dictate the behavior of the living. Hope you like it? High to pickles Margot while Emma. This is very interesting. It sure is is so good. ooh, so I learnt so much reading that I learned about that. The name Morton is for a man I learned that the term rake means A tool with prongs. Let me. Look up again like a a a hell raiser. Immoral, immoral okay He was gave. You know someone who drinks wine and sing songs in season. Cat It's like it's like a cad. So. How much do we respect? The last wishes of our known family. What's interesting is a man does mom is a wicked? It works in in wills. That's right. That's right. We should get Jan on the horn. In see if you know if that's you know, I mean because what if someone says. What if someone says in there will like with my body I want you to climb to the top of Mount Everest and you're like wool. Why why like yeah I? Don't think you can make someone do something. In your will I, mean you can control your own estate and you know who gets what, but as far as the idea that you can control people's behavior I don't know that that would ever hold up in court now of course as a good cousin. You, Good cousin morten, you want to respect suite claris as wishes. But maybe Clarisa was innocent and forgiving to a fault. Oh, yet like dirt like dirty John Almost. You? Mean like the not dirty John, but but the dirt honey Britain and dirty. Dirty women. I mean obviously this man. This rake love laces is installed. Terrible. This is my book club podcast yet this. Would be funny. It is it is Clarisa and more than and. did you know that the origin of the name Morgan? may be derived from common I can't I. Don't know how to say these words, but it. It comes from London comes from England. Well that's beautiful. A couple issues here because. I'm trying to put myself in. Morton's foot foots. But I Amanda I don't really like duels, so I would be less inclined. Want lovelace to go through the justice system but if you're saying, my only option is to either let him live his life free or to confront him in a Duel I. Guess I've gotTa choose the dual because I mean he's not changing. His ways and Clarisa went to her deathbed thinking. He what it sounds like Clarisa committed suicide I'm not sure. Are you going to read this book? Absolutely not. She said it was fifteen. Hundred pages, says yeah, but I mean honestly Emma. You're such a good summer. After. Would it be fun to do a podcast a book club podcast where we have. A Book Club about a book with none of us have read. It would be the best. Will. Maybe one person read the book, and then everyone else has to try and catch up in like. Figure it out. Oh, you know it'd be funny, though is if it was like the book club, but the three people have read the book, and then one person has it and you don't know who. And so the premise of it is that you have to figure out which person didn't revoke. That's really funny. So this is a classic book is. Is You know it's a gosh? Darn classic published in Seventeen. Forty eight tells the tragic story of a young woman as we know, Clarisa Harlow whose quest for virtuous. Thwarted by her family and my. What a! What a sad story that is! Kapiti of vote glove now in twenty thirteen, the Guardian ranked Clarisa fourth on its list. One hundred best novels written in England. Should I read it well, it's all signs point to. Yes, okay, I mean. I love any more than I. Do I just? And lovelace. people on on Amazon saying They gave five stars, but this person sparkles, says spoilers. I found clitorises character annoying. I mean I see that it kind of reminds me. You Know I. Just when years that virtuous to the point of you're not really living in reality, it's like. What's really going on here? You know it'd be funny. Is Doing a book review a book club Podcast, but you could only say things in the voice of Amazon reviewers. Like look their actual reviews. Yeah like I would come in. I'd say she was as much of a narcissist. In my opinion is love lays I mean she just kept wallowing. Up lifted hands at is. Chief perpetual funny, though because whoever didn't read the book on this podcast could like have the reviews that could only. Amanda I have a spoiler for you and you're GonNa really freak out what she she did. Commit suicide. By starvation Oh my God see I am upset at Clarisa. A lot about things happen to her, but at the same time she's kind of playing into the victim role. That's what this woman saying. She saying she literally committed suicide by starvation. Inches loved talking about how ill she was and the way she was dying I mean she really loved talking about her pending death, and made such a huge display of it among her new acquaintances. Yeah. Clarisa sounds like the frigging worse I mean. She was a victim, but I would've loved to see her more as a survivor. Well maybe in the sequel when she comes back. As a ghost. And so Maria. Let's just go say sort of our final answers here. Would you dual it out with love laser? was you respect clearances wishes. Well. We do have to take into account Clarisa as a human being. One if Is Annoying as people are making her seem. then there. I'm one of two things. If, she's as forgiving an as. It's just like I. This is hard because then. It's hard because just put it this way. If this was a strong character in that, it was like this like I'm going to rise like a phoenix. Kind of an I'm GONNA RISE BY FORGIVENESS? Then you would think like. Oh, I'm going to abide by her wishes because I see that she overcame this and I don't need to do her bidding for her. You know what I mean like. Show overcame this, and this isn't you know? But if it is someone who's just like oh I'm fine. Let him continue on in his ways. You know like that kind of like. Well I think what it is. Is is that she was the victim of emotional and physical abuse, and like how sometimes happens with that? You still love the person who's abusing you and can kind of justify it in your head, and so I think she, probably in some ways still loved lovelace and could see the good in him, even though he's a dirt bag and chances are. He's going to victimize another woman. You know if I agree but I. Got So sick of herself. Pity and I'm poor creature, this poor creature of ad and I most most banned in person in the world. Poor creature, Mimi me, and I, was literally walk I. Wish She would just shut the hell up and die already. Oh, Maria, please I. Mean you literally are are acting like everything. Like that's a you're quoting Morton. In that scene and the scene were more than makes clarice, a plate of scrambled eggs and no. You didn't read the book yet, asked the. Chief Away Clarisa you didn't. That was in chapter, twenty. NO ORDINANCE CLARISA Seventeen fifty. They weren't eating scrambled. Eighty had scrambled eggs in seventeen fifty. Are you kidding the chickens, didn't they? What else do you think they do at the eggs? I. Don't think they scrambled them. Yes, they did. I'M GONNA. Look it up. Can someone give me the history of the scrambled egg. Okay! Well, I just don't think in this book they may have said like whisked some whisked eggs or some. You know some. Yeah, well, yeah? Sorry I use the wrong term, but yeah. The scene were more than whisks her up some eggs and she fees it to the dog to charity. To charity the dog. You didn't read the book I have. I have read it. I just realized. Clarisa winds about the treatment. She has dealt it ad nauseam. Lovely is the only somewhat believable character Amanda in Collision of married him, and got it over with. He may have been a rake like you said, but at least he was a charming one wave. Rapes her well. That's well I okay so now. I'm getting confused because. Her did he was he just a raked her. This person is saying that he was a rake in. He was charming break. I, don't know I don't know I'm look. I'm googling it. Maybe it's another. He said she said thing and we need to believe Clarisa. Air On the side of the leaving clarice on this one lovelace I don't trust him. I trust the only person I trust as Morton and. Well honestly because. This is the thing as much as I. Hate to admit it. I. Don't think you can control people from beyond the grave, and so I think. So I. Think more than has to make his own decision. Because Clarisa is gone, she passed away and so now Morton is the one who has to live in the world with a guy like lovelace, and I do think if the justice system is not an option because back then probably for whatever you know. Women's rapes probably weren't being prosecuted. Rakes. Rapes. You know just as they aren't today. In many cases, I would dual. And now I wouldn't do today I'm not saying I would go out in dual today, but back then when dueling was more normal. So as you take justice into your own hands. I, need to tell you this Amanda. The Amazon reviews are dragging Clarisa I. mean people this one says, please someone stop Clarisa from writing any more letters. So, people just can't. They can't deal with her. I mean I don't think clarice is really holding up. Well Anyway, if you've actually. Read the book. Please right in with your thoughts. And I think in response to the moral dilemma I don't think. If if you could see that someone was so broken in. That's why they didn't want to get this person back. Then of course I would say like no I'm going to do this because that's they ruined you. You're the ruined your life. And I. Love You and I'm going to make amends for this this this this dog. This dog Doodoo over person. You're this charity Doodoo of a person and but if it's someone who like. was like no. I'm fine like don't do it. It just seems like. It's not worth like clarice. It's not worth it. Make any sense. Yeah I think so. I just hope. Clarence, says okay. I'll. She's not. She's absolutely not. So. Let's get to We'll do one more deer big ones. Let's do it. In thank you that was. That was a really those really good one. All right, I'll read the deer big ones because it got it right here. Hello, big ones I live in a large suburban apartment complex over five hundred units. Dogs are strictly prohibited. When we signed release a couple years ago, the apartment manager gave us a form, telling us the rules and reiterated several times. The dogs aren't allowed in apartments in buildings or even in the parking lot inside a car Jesus. I have no idea why the rules are so stringent, especially because there is a condo complex connected to us where there are tons of dogs going on walked Centra. There is a young woman, probably just out of college living in the apartment next to mine. She has been there for about a year. I have never met her, but now that we are in covert isolation I can occasionally hear her TV or her talking on the phone last week. I heard her screaming match on the phone with her parents. I couldn't hear the whole thing, but I definitely heard her saying she was going to get the dog, and that her parents and needed to let her be an adult a few days after that I could hear her talking in a dog baby voice, and it sounded like she was playing with a jog. I'm a rule follower, but also a dog lover. What should I do I? Don't want this to get comfortable and attached only to have to be given back once. Management finds out about it I, also wonder if she is fostering a dog during Kobe. I kind of doubt that the dog has come from a rescue shelter, because I know from experience that they always call your apartment complex before they approve the Dopson Foster, I think the reasonable option are that it is from a breeder adopted from an individual or she lied on adoption foster application. Do I email management. Do I leave her a note help? Okay, so then there's an update just actually a couple hours later like she sent this at seven forty four am, and then the update came at ten nine am l. k. well. Update I heard the girl leaving her apartment and going down the stairs. I looked outside a minute later in there. She is with a brand new holster retriever puppy Oh my God and there's a picture l.. Send you this picture Amanda. Oh boy. Wow, that's a cute dog. Yeah, this is such a cutie. So probably didn't come from a shelter. She must've got it from. Thousands of dollars well, the this pisses me off. In what way well that she's first of all like getting a dog. When there's a good chance, she's going to have to rehome it. And she moves yeah, and she should move, but she should move before she got the dog. Yeah, and that she's gotten now a dog from a breeder. Right so there's a couple different. I. I don't like this woman. I like her dog. You don't have to. You don't have to like her and no offense and I actually like, but just I like these shoes, but just for contacts. She's wearing crocs. In what color are they just their Pale pink. That's right. I. Don't think you email management. I don't think you do that. Now I would because then you're a NARC and no one likes the NARC. But if you were to introduce yourself and say hey, I like this. I don't have a problem. Make it very clear that you don't have a problem. I love your dog and if you ever need me to dogs that were maybe don't say that, because then. If it's found in your apartment than an, she'll take up like just knowing this girl. She'll take advantage of that and she'll be like. Hey, I'm going to a party. Can you watch tiger whatever anyway? You should say to her. You know there's no dogs allowed here in I. Think your dog is so cute I don't I don't want you to like I just want you to know that like. If someone sees you with this dog, you may have to move. I mean what's the point I? Just think this is one of those situations. Where like not your monkeys, not your circus. Yet, but what if you lived in the circus tent? But what's the dog's not bothering the? The letter writer, so it's like why get involved. It doesn't involve you. I guess not, but I. Guess for for my own peace of mind I just want to. I'd want to make sure that dog doesn't get taken away and readers. Do and the dog probably should. Be somewhere else. Well, it shouldn't be in that apartment. Complex ensure I think it's just a matter of time before someone reports her and her dog to management, but that person's not going to be you. That's right you, don't you? Don't you? Don't NARC on something that doesn't. Have to do with you. Yeah I agree and there's just nothing. This lady's doing what she's GonNa. Do you hurt the way she spoke to her parents. If you. If you're speaking to your parents like that, you know. How does she speak to a priest? Would would say if you can get her prese information. That might be the person to get involved. That's right. You know if she talks to her parents like you know, a stranger comes along, and she's you know the you know the let the cork off the off the bottle. And all the sudden she spewing everywhere, and this woman seems to be maybe in her early forties so. I. Don't know if she's some sort of Lord of the state or her parents have. Power of attorney. You know the dog looks like it's having fun. It's nice that she's talking to the dog and like a nice playful voice, and that's good. That's a good sign. So anyway I think you gotta just I know it's hard, but sometimes we just have to bite our tongues and worry about ourselves. That's right. Don't you know what would clarisa have done in this situation? She would have thrown herself off the balcony. That's right. That's right. Well thank you for writing in, let us know. Please give us an update, but yeah, just keep your mouth shut and you know. Keep watching. Gilmore girls. So you guys can reach us at the big ones pod on twitter. You can email us at the big ones podcast Jamile DOT com. You can call that six two six, six sophomore, six, six two. Two and thanks so much for listening. Area.

Amanda Chief Away Clarisa lovelace Morton Morton Maria Clarisa Amanda I Google clarice Maria I Justin Amanda Lund twitter Gilmore Girls John Almost justice Shinmun Shinmun Emma Amazon Donna

Wednesday, July 29, 2020 - The Christian Science Monitor Daily

The Christian Science Monitor Daily

09:37 min | 7 months ago

Wednesday, July 29, 2020 - The Christian Science Monitor Daily

"Welcome to the Monitor daily Podcast it's Wednesday July twenty ninth. Thanks for joining US I'm Klay Collins reading trouble. And I'm Rebecca to. Shift has been occurring in. US Toward Immigration and maybe a surprise given that Donald Trump won both Republican nomination and the White House in two thousand sixteen as an Immigration Hawk. He tapped into longstanding concerns among many Americans about loose borders in rapid demographic change. But a poll released this month by Gallup founded for the first time in its surveys Americans lean generally toward more rather than less immigration. The late spring poll found that thirty four percent of US adults would like to see immigration increase while twenty eight percent would prefer decrease and thirty six percent support the current volume. From the nineteen sixties through the nineteen, ninety by contrast support for more immigration never exceeded ten percent in Gallup's Er base the gradual rise in support since then is strongest among Democrats and political independence, but is also visible among. Republicans. The reasons may be many, but some of the backdrop is economic. The foreign born share of the workforce has been rising in recent decades and many people recognize the contributions of immigrants has innovators and entrepreneurs. Recent turmoil over whether foreign students should be kicked out or barred from arrival while not directly about immigration hint at the economic stakes cultural diversity. The presence of those students creates jobs, fuels, research, and supports educational programs for native foreign students as well. Save researchers at the Peterson Institute International ECON welcoming foreign students has also increased the United States soft power. The researchers say as millions of foreign students have returned to their home countries largely with warm feelings about their education and the country that provided. Now to today's stories. I up. Last week's alleged satellite weapon test by Russia underscores the need for space going nations to reach an understanding on orbital militarization. Last week the US base force accused Russia of deploying a projectile weapon in near Earth orbit close to a US spy-satellite though nothing was destroyed. The militarization of space has become increasingly urgent. In recent years, the United States has been complaining for more than a year about Russia's use of maneuverable new breed of inspector satellites that can spy on US satellites and might be employed as weapons. The Russians for their part argue that the US has developed elaborate earth-based weaponry capable of attacking an adversary satellite network in war. Both sides clearly agree that it's high time to sit down at least begin a conversation about it. Russian and U. S. negotiators met in Vienna this week to discuss the issue. weaponising space can lead to a hugely expensive and destabilizing arms. Race says Vladimir, version of the Center for International Security at the Russian Research Institution Imo. Right. Now, there are no laws against the deployment of conventional weapons in Earth orbit. We really need to sit down and come to an agreement. The story was reported by Fred, we're in Moscow for the Monitor. The behavior of federal paramilitary forces in Portland has raised rule of law questions that go to the heart of democracy. They also point to another issue that democracy ultimately depends on more than just rules and regulations. Video from Portland. Oregon showing federal paramilitary forces, detaining protesters and driving away in unmarked cars has aroused some disturbing memories from monitor columnists, Ned tempos passed as a foreign correspondent in places such as South, Africa Lebanon and Iran. The US agents are not death squads, but they don't always wear unit insignia. They don't identify themselves, and some of them are clearly disregarding the usual standards of Identification Accountability and redress that apply to civilian police. That raises questions about the rule of law, but it also suggests that the underpinnings of democracy based on common assumptions of what behavior is acceptable are weaker than they once were both at home and abroad. International Democracy watchers say that attack REC- is on the rise from India to Hungary and that the majority of the world's governments are now autocratic. But, at the same time, ordinary citizens support democracy by large margins. Even. If they're disappointed by the way, it works in practice. To Misquote Mark Twain reports of Democracies death may prove to be exaggerated. The story was reported by. Ned temp go in London for. The Monitor. What role do female composers play in American music clarice Assad works in a largely white male field fusing her US and Brazilian influences to inspire, symphony audiences, and young performers alike. Clarissa Saad has learned to look to the back of the room for the shy girls, the ones who were afraid to step up to the microphone and lead with their voices. The grammy nominated Brazilian American composer and performer understands but that's like she was shy wants to. Her Innovative Style and ability to draw music out of anyone are part of what makes Miss Assad a repeat contributor at the Albany Symphony in New York and why she was commissioned Tab Group of girls compose a pop piece based on the Journal Truth Speech. Anti Women for its American Music Festival last. A multiday event in June twenty nineteen celebrating the hundredth anniversary of the nineteen. amendment. The project fitness Assads mission to help others embrace new ways of thinking about music. She regularly blends jazz and classical genres and champions the voices of female and minority artists in the largely white male or she industry. Working with girls over the past decade gives Mrs Saad Hope. We are here to stay and our voice matters as much as any other voices. The story was reported by Kendra Nordion Bianco, for the Monitor. Authenticity is woven through each of our four audiobook choices for July, which included not only the return of a certain celebrated detective but also journeys toward self discovery and identity check out today's issue or audiobook selection by. M O'Gorman. Now commentary on listening from the Monitor's editorial board. A national unsettling caused by the pandemic and the Racial Justice Movement may open opened an opportunity to change the way Americans debate issues joint research by the University of California Berkeley and Yale University has found that listening during a political discussion is more persuasive than debating it is also the secret to finding common ground on divisive issues. A first step is to frame dialogue as a learning experience for both sides. Otherwise each person's initial views may only heart. A study published in May engaged nearly seven thousand US voters in conversations about immigration and transgender rights. Those framed as arguments about policy choices tended to reinforce views already held. When participants were exposed to personal narratives on the same issues gaps. There's still time to change the nature of the national discussion while the outward responses to the pandemic racial injustice have made for arrest of summer. They've also been quieter spaces for dialogue in recognizing this, the heightened empty can elevate the tone of the campaign. A robust congestive ideas involve more than speaking deeper listening can strengthen democracy to. That's a wrap for the news. You can find the full length versions of these stories in today's issue or at CS, monitor dot com slash daily. Join US again tomorrow when we'll look at the coming launch of Nasr's newest Mars rover perseverance it's quest for signatures of life on the Red Planet. Finally. Our apologies to baseball fans in Tuesday's interest story incorrectly identified one of the Major League Baseball. Teams in. They are the Miami Martins. In today's Christian, science spiritual perspective column a woman devastated by her husband's sudden death turned wholeheartedly to God for comfort her prayers brought inspiration renewal and a tangible sense of God's love that lifted the poll of grief. You can find the column in today's issue or at CS MONITOR DOT com slash daily. We want to give a quick thanks to our staff including today's audio production team Jane Non. And Jeff. This podcast is produced by the Christian Science Monitor Copyright Twenty.

US Russia Christian Science Monitor Gallup Klay Collins Donald Trump Rebecca clarice Assad baseball grammy White House International Democracy Mark Twain Portland Peterson Institute Internation Oregon Clarissa Saad Major League Baseball Mrs Saad Hope
Barclays trial, climate initiative and Fed regulatory reprieve

FT Banking Weekly

16:11 min | 1 year ago

Barclays trial, climate initiative and Fed regulatory reprieve

"Welcome to banking weekly from the Financial Times with me Patrick Jenkins joining me in the studio today a Carolina Benham of financial regulation correspondent David Crowe Banking Editor and joining us from New York Laura Newnan US banking editor able to get permission to play audio tapes of telephone calls between the defendants that the jury has also heard and we can play those I was just before the second fundraising Lehman Brothers collapsed and pretty much the whole of the financial sector was looking to see what came next banks what are they doing to prepare for climate change and European lenders finally get a break from US regulators I though to the eight when Qatar was among the anchor investors and they were alleged irregularities with way those fundraising's were conducted it's really wide roiling a lot of Barclays rivals were being built at the time say the trial really lifts the little desperation unusually we've been this week some of the fraught negotiations within Barclay's as banks future really was teetering you'll remember September two thousand eight which now we're hearing Tom Cholera he's the first speaker with the American accent speak to rich should both and this was just at the first fundraising the bank took in June Tom. Clarice was the head of wealth management at the time and Richard Base was the head of European financial services you could possibly be controlled twenty two million pounds in outsized fees in exchange for their participation in these cash calls that ultimately kept the bank flate what we've heard that trial was suspended now we have a retrial tell us exactly what's going on and what's particularly of interest in the last day or say yes it was the original trial in which the former chief executive John Varley was acquitted his three co-defendants Roger Jenkins Tom Clarice and Richard Base alkalies trial or I should say the Barclays Retrial Carolina you spent several months attending the initial trial connected to fundraising's back in two thousand and are- trialled is going on at London's Old Bailey the prosecution has opened its case and we've heard how essentially their cases is that the three light to the market over these side deals Sa say in which he's paid guitar investors three hundred I want to go to jail so mark you gotta you gotTa make sure you're comfortable worst case scenario somebody says stomach economic and I say bullshit so Carolina's a fascinating insight into the compensations that were going on at the top of Barclays at the time and the prosecution is alleging that listen to our advantage because actually it wouldn't be a bad thing to do reinforced the stratego publicly maybe even enforcing strategic commitment this conversation and other similar communications prove that these senior managers were aware that they were on the edge of the lower that's a I think that they that's that's a decision we should make it a couple of days time with harding is where the subject the capital is is that it's it's it you know what rumbled and people say well that was bullshit you know that this is just a a fee in the back door this is one of these things where being amounted to a criminal offence full statements essentially they knew that they couldn't pay the Qataris extra fees that wasn't going to be disclosed to the other I did I told him I told him I expected him to review all these documents with guards issue not love Judith but this it's the jeopardy and and and that strikes me that in the context of all of this this is the one of the most dangerous aspects of this whole yawns action sisters it should be said that the defendants are gonNA start presenting their opening statements to the jury at the end of this week say they obviously have a child like in terms of the Qatari fundraising in terms of yes say the Serious Fraud Office say that these conversations evidence that the defendants knew what they were doing wchs applies to all corporations but banks have a special place if

Barclays Tom Clarice Tom Cholera Patrick Jenkins Financial Times harding Richard Base Carolina Carolina Benham Lehman Brothers US Laura Newnan New York David Crowe Editor editor John Varley Qatar Judith
E021  Teresa Who?

FileMaker Off The Record Podcast

32:08 min | 1 year ago

E021 Teresa Who?

"Welcome to file maker off the record. You're listening to Thomas and Theresa of profile developers discussing all the things filmmaker for developers and power users Theresa Thomas How are you. I'm well thank you. How are you doing pretty good can't complain? Oh that's good because I don't like to hear complaints good. That's not my thing. That's why this works out. Well write on tonight's show. We are going to do an interview or are you going to interview. We're going to interview you. Get Outta town yeah so this is this is episode twenty one on Twenty One and I'm twenty one plus plus plus plus plus plus and I realized that we never had an introduction episodes like the first episode we did. was on seventeen aversion seventeen so nobody knows who we are apparently not not we should enlighten them yeah so that's what we're GONNA do. Tonight sounds like a good idea so let's start with the basics like with with every refile maker developer. When did you start using file maker? Do you want to date with version because I don't remember the date yeah. I think inversions versions are easier. I remember which version was held. When I got married so I started using file maker in version eight point five okay was that the only point release that they did there? Were there were couple point versions since before that because four point one that's the first one I remember was the first version to have like ODBC importing and that was the first version to be released by foul maker incorporated. What were the ones before? It was a company called clarice. Oh that sounds familiar. It's all that is old is new again so we're going back to four four was clear and four point one was foul maker here is that four one was ninety ninety nine ninety nine. How time flies yeah yeah version five was the first version to be MAC? Os Ten native just as an aside I recall when Mac Os ten came out and I worked in it and for whatever reason for marketing I guess every time there was a new release of the MAC. Os they would send me posters and so at one point. I finally cleaned my office like one of those you know by annual rituals I had a typical. It off as it was crazy zied full of cables and old manuals and lots of paper and all kinds of dust I eventually hung every Mac. Os Ten poster that I had and kind donahue all paper the room with it it was really. It was really kind of interesting because you don't get that anymore. Accompanying mailing in those was big cardboard tubes a whole bunch of thick paper posters to hundreds of thousands of people every you know every release so you started with eight point five very long answer to a very short question and so that would that would have been around two thousand six six so about thirteen years ago or so sure sounds good. Were you working so I was working at a nonprofit called Pittsburgh filmmakers. I which is located in Pittsburgh and at the time they would posit a claim to fame uh as being one of the only places on the east coast where you could still take classes and you sixteen millimeter and eight millimeter film so Pittsburgh Filmmakers was a nonprofit that was affiliated with local colleges like the University of Pittsburgh Carnegie Mellon and Point Park University among others and they offered for credit classes as well as independent classes in photography filmmaking digital content creation and then had also classes in theory film theory and screenwriting and things things like that so it was a very cool place to work. I think my title was the manager of it something like that but I was essentially early the it department anything that had to do with computers came through me. I did all the purchasing I did all the installation of aging all of that stuff and I also who taught classes there in a my my specialty was a class called introduction to digital where I would teach students about the Macintosh Josh Basics and interface the operating system and then would also talk about Photoshop and whatever editing video editing program we were dealing with at the time is a fun job in a lot of fun. People working with artists little funds sometimes too weird but it's always interesting and they're good people so you picked up eight five. Were still there. Why did filmmakers started to use file waker filmmakers had been using file maker for a number of years and I was forced to use file maker so because I was the it department it was kind of a natural progression for me to get involved in the foul maker systems that were already in place risk there had been? I think there were two systems that they were using based in foul maker so there was a registration ration- database. I believe that had been built in version three. So what's the donations program we got a new executive director and he said you know what we need to do. We need a database and so he purchased a version of donations which is a foul maker box product that was available at the time and he she had some interns from I think from CMU and one of those interns Kinda tried to reverse engineer filmmaker filmaker donations to make it match some of our processes and the first intern she was great. She was such a hard worker. Remember going into the little tiny office that she had at the time she was working there and she had covered the walls in in relationship graphs and at the time I didn't know what she was doing. I didn't know what I was looking at. I walked into her office and went my God. I'm glad I don't have to work on this. Whatever the heck mccheese this is ridiculous and then per exactly exactly so then she left because she's an intern so every three months you're interns turns disappear? That's the way interns work note to everyone. Don't hire an intern to build the entire concept that your databases built on because the next intern could've cared less. She was not interested in databases. She had no idea what was going on. She didn't get it. She didn't like it and she couldn't do it so in the three months that she was there. I think not a lot happened and that's where you came in. You were hard to help out with that and then in the next three months I offered my head up on a plotter and said okay fine. I'll follow this guy around hound and see if I can figure out what's going on and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I thought it was very interesting. I never had kind of connected the dots in the past about how creating creating a program and you know working thing to build an application was such a creative process you know I had never thought of that and it was probably because I was thinking of coding as just all this typing and all these languages and I had never done that my high school had I don't know three free computers and there were no programming classes. There was no way anything all the it information that I learned I learned on the job in just having an affinity for it so yeah when I started learning about filmmaker. I thought that it was great. It was you know I can make buttons and I can have do things and I can create something new from nothing and I can make it. Do whatever I want want which was really really cool I did. I did really enjoy that found maker ended up being fifty percent of my job so so half of my job was to take care of all the computers make sure all the software was updated. Make sure I'll he installs happened. Make sure I was purchasing the right stuff so there there was not whole side of things like you know tech support for only my email doesn't work oh. Hey My computer crashed. Oh Hey my speakers died so I was dealing with that on for fifty percent of my job men than the rest of it was building a whole ton of stuff for the organization as the whole because there was the donations database so we started reverse engineering that yeah so that was tracking the donations but then you built a the library piece rightward and so the library piece this was talking to students but you had to have been a high of work on the registration piece at the same time I was. We were all linked in the back. We were retrofitting donations to to work the difficulty there. was my primary contact with not you my primary contact at filmmakers was determined to work with the donations which was a she basically kind of a full solution. That foul maker was distributing. I think they sold it. It was it was a box. You could buy it in a box off the shelf shelf okay from a store so that's back then yeah it was like a hundred and fifty bucks and it you know there was a lot of there was a lot of interesting stuff often there however the I have every developer overtime gets their own style and their own on standard standards and donations was not mine it was somebody else's right and you didn't want he is well. It was difficult. It's slowed down the progress when you're trying to work within like we ended up building a lot of things on our own because we were adding things also yeah and we ended up building so much custom and it you know linking it up was yeah because I think inside donations where the artist artist memberships went initially we built that into donations and then the registration the student registrations and enrollments and were a different database were completely separate right so we had the enrollment registration database which had enrollments students students courses classes sessions you know for free here album reports so all the students side stop was in one system library. The library was over here on the right and then the artist memberships and donations were in the middle and they were all trying to talk to each other and that kind of worked but I think some of the donation stuff made it a little more complicated than it needed to be absolutely did yeah there was also a little bit of politics of course arse nonprofit yeah so the made it a little bit difficult to work as well. My never got it the way I really you want to be. Don't we all say that about like almost everything that we send out into the wild afterwards or or any any solution that you Z. X. years later it doesn't matter what it is you look at it and you go oh. Why did I do that? I wish I would have done besides I remember the first APP that I built first foul maker system that I built it was separate from all of the interconnected things that we were doing at a filmmakers. It was a point of sale application for the Center for the arts parts shop so there's this super cool funky little store to consignment shop over at the Center for the arts and they did not have a great connection to anything so the solution need so one of the things that they said was yeah we used is to have a program point of sale program but it didn't work out for us because everything had to be loaded into inventory. We believe we can put it on the floor for sale and we just don't work that way artist show-up because everything in the shop was consignment there were some pieces that were like in the galleries that were on display but almost everything was in artist I would show up with a box full of stuff in and they wanted to put it out on the floor immediately and they knew who the artist was. The artist was required quired to tag every single item with their code so each artist was given Alpha numeric code based on their last name and that's how they knew who was going to get the money so they said that the software that they had tried to use previously it just wouldn't work because they had to sit there and enter in every single item and so if an artist came in and if they came in and said that they have these magnets they say this bunch little magnets that looked like fish they brought in fifty fish magnates. If all of the fish magnets no matter what color they were all had the same code like item code they were fine. They could say oh artist A. B. A. One broaden a quantity not of fifty of item fish a one but if the artist said oh well the orange ones official one and the blue ones or fish to and the the green ones are three then they would have to go in and itemize like everything so they couldn't work with that because a lot of times what they would do especially for holiday sales is one hundred artists come in over two days and bring four thousand items so it was not possible for them to get all of that stuff into the store and out on the floor if they had to load it into a system I my goal in creating software was to create something where all the artists and the artists codes were loaded into the system and what the system will do is it would allow you to enter inventory beforehand but it could also enter inventory at at the point of sale so somebody would wanna buy a scarf they would come up to the checkout they would look could the tag put in the artist code in the item code and hit the look button. If it failed it would say enter a description and a price this they would do that it would immediately added to inventory and added to the sale so that solved that problem for them and made them possible made it possible awesome for them to actually do sales on the fly which is what they had to do to match their process which is a perfect example of the the problems with off the shelf software right. I can't tell you how many solutions I built. I have no idea it's a lot yeah and eighty eighty percent of the solution had contact management in them and every single one had something that was different about every now there's some piece that this company does not do it like that like this company and that's just a perfect example. Why custom softwares where tab it's the only practical all direction to take in almost any business unless you're in a franchise right and that's one of the things I liked a lot about being an in house developer developer is that anytime somebody turned their head they'd say oh we can build a system for that? Why don't we track that? Why don't we build something inbound bound Laker for that and so there was this endless amount of work and an endless amount of creative challenges and solutions that you could give to these problems so I really liked that? It was an interesting place to work. It was an interesting place to develop develop for and I think I spent ninety percent of my waking hours there that was filmmakers filmmakers and that was the first thing you built. Yes primarily on your own. Yes yeah I think e I would show you what I had done and you would say oh. You should do it this way or make suggestions but for the most part I built that by myself and to my knowledge knowledge they are still using that today very probable at some point you left filmmakers I did and you took a full time position doing being in house filmmaker developer where no longer had to take care of. It you were right. They tried to have me take care of. It briefly because their it guy left yeah but they were mostly PC's at that place right and PC's were not my expertise and then also they had enough foul maker work that my value was not being used properly with with putting the diety Ano- and and the other thing about that place was like like so many manufacturing companies were lying on some older technology and older machinery that requires some some very deft handling and kid gloves like they had a CNC machine that would only work on a machine that ran on Microsoft Emmy so so because of that. If that guy had a problem it was just like oh so there were some very unique challenges relating to connected hardware in their environment so while I recognized that appreciated it like I said they realized that my time was much better used and there was much more value in me working on filmmaker because I could bang that stuff out rather than you know tripping over it issues so this is after just a couple of years working with a little bit of foul maker internally with filmmakers and you had some training training under me it went to a couple of of the deaf cons ended some sub work for me. Yes and then after turn just a few years than you than you got that that went on for another three years new years yes okay and then after those it was three years than you came toward me. I did as a full-time right. Yes what was that transition like going from in house to a full time developer for filmmaker development company now is so it was fine now so I enjoyed being in house quite a bit I always found it fascinating to get insight into how each different department and how different people in different departments handle handle the issues that are thrown with them and how they solve the problems because even custom software can't solve everything and so people are always working around their our issues so one of the biggest differences was that I went from working in an office most of the time because vetted work from home quite a bit they they were very flexible. One of the biggest differences is working in an in an environment where there's a lot of people and you get to interact with a lot of bodies and a lot of brains to only interacting with a limited set of people. That's a big difference prince but you're still working with lots of people. You're just not in the same office as that as they are. You know you know it's a lot of conference. Calls calls a Lotta onsite visits. You're still you just have to ask more of the right questions to learn learn about those processes and learn about the work arounds how somebody gets their job done because you can't see it working fulltime for filmmaker development company. It's a lot of the same things instead of different departments having their issues different different companies your kind of worldview grows exponentially as to what you get exposed to as you progress through levels of expertise and how do you continue to learn beyond beyond hands on. I think I told told her this when I started draining and even now you learn more or from hands on than almost anything yeah. So what else do you do you stay keep your certifications up-to-date yes and and I know studying for those helps improve your skill level. Oh Yeah I love. I love going back and reading some of the basics just because my brain is in his bright and shiny as it used to be if I am faced with a challenge enjoy a process or technique that I haven't used yet I'll usually google it and then follow the threads down the rabbit hole on try to find the best way to solve the problem. One of the challenges I had recently with a report was trying to figure out how to display some temporary information regarding report right right so there's some users records and they can potentially be linked to the contacts in the solution so I was trying to think of a way to display these for this potential match that wouldn't be too complicated and I thought Oh you know I could do with like a virtual report. I don't want it to be virtual because I wanted to be kept in there. I WanNa do a whole bunch of like how I wanted to look nice when it displays. I don't want to just do a text field triangle line things that'll be ugly and I thought this is a perfect use for repeated field repeated fields. We never use repeated fields for almost anything but they're still useful for some stuff and I I thought this was perfect because the display will be consistent. It'll look nice I can. I can manage the look of it. you know I can describe a script. The setting in the clearing fine is not a lot of pomp and circumstance nothing fancy. It's going old school so so sometimes stretching yourself and trying something new trying something that you don't usually do even though it's old because repeated fielder what from when relationships right so they've been around forever but we rarely use them in what we do so we would show like invoice line items the best compliment you ever got from a client. I was called a digital goddess. I was told hold that should be on my business cards musher with that means. I think it came from feminist so so it had to be good broker group. That sounds like a compliment to me yeah yeah I got a lot of compliments about being able able to like I had good bedside manner with. It it people usually have a bad rap with dealing with users and giving them a hard time. I'm always very pleasant. I never mean to anybody so everybody. No one was afraid to do. Come to me with an issue or afraid to ask me a question because I might come down on them hard one time. Somebody said my speakers seekers don't work and I came to their office and I said Did you may be kicked power cord out under your desk because I know how you sit and I know where you're you know certain stripping so that she looked down and she went. Oh yeah that's it. Thanks so one of the easier issues to deal with you know yeah. I haven't had a good good rapport with a lot of people that was one of the reasons I hired you. That's what I hear after you worked here for a while was a fulltime employees than you became partner yeah that was that was a year ago. Yeah it was a quick not quick smooth transition. Sometimes I forget so if you could turn back time time and talk to your eighteen year old self so just a few years ago. Is that really how it would work to turn back time to do that. Wouldn't you have to be speaking through something because a knee now is talking to someone. Don't the rules of time travel network that way anyway if you could turn on and speak to your eighteen year old self what would you tell her so I was undecided major and they stuck me in a dorm with a bunch of pre Med ed students 'cause I think they wanted me to go pre med. I duNNo. They probably said I don't know what to do with this undecided kid. We'll stick over here with a bunch of pre-med kids has has won. One of my roommates was premed. The other one was a physical therapy. Somebody else was occupational. Therapists are always like like Med students around and I just helped him with English work in philosophy say couldn't they didn't get any of that stuff so I would probably really tell my eighteen year old self to go check out computers because I swear I probably had very very little exposure to computers at that time and if I had looked into programming languages switches I probably would have I probably would have gravitated towards web design before anything else just because it everything everything so readily available and it's very visual 'cause I always I've always been a very visual person and I like Web Design Anyway Anyway. I probably would have said Oh. Hey look into web design. Look into you know. Get get your hands on computers and do stuff there because you know once I got to filmmakers which was several years later you know I always had a computer in front of me. I was taking care of them or I was doing tutorials or learning software using you know I I was glued to them. I was probably primed crime at the time and it would have would have done me good I think what do you do in your just to wrap up. what do you do who in your spare time. I feed people whatever spare time means yeah. I have to stop work to go make dinner for multiple people people in my household so I at five fifteen. I look and I go oh crap. I have to stop what I'm doing and go downstairs and make mashed potatoes chicken or whatnot. Although I really liked cooking I enjoy planning a menu that I know everybody. Here is going to lake think so

developer intern Pittsburgh Theresa Thomas Pittsburgh Filmmakers clarice Emmy executive director google Microsoft Point Park University
5 Minute Highlight: Episode 20

Secrets to Win Big With Arjun Sen

07:04 min | 5 months ago

5 Minute Highlight: Episode 20

"If you're a business owner, you don't need us to tell you're running a business as tough. Don't let QuickBooks and spreadsheets slow you down anymore now is the time to upgrade to netsuite by Oracle the world's number one Cloud busy system netsuite gives you the visibility and control over your financials H our inventory e-commerce and more join the over Twenty-One thousand companies using netsuite right now schedule your free project or right now at netsuite.com. Netsuite.com c-suite. This is secrets to win big your roadmap to sustain growth brought to you by our June Saint founder and CEO of Zen mango brand whisper top brand growth driver and a former fortune five hundred Executives who has been called one of them to marketing intelligent Minds in the business find him at Zen mango. And now here's your host our June sin. Welcome to secrets to win big with Arjen sled. This is all good. And it's really a pleasure to bring you a five minute podcast highlight about my conversation with David Flannery for Mercy CFO at Benihana's and Papa John's Pizza. I was fortunate to work with David during my days as vice president of marketing and operations services for Papa John's. Through one of their amazing rapid growth of Glory Days. And I got a chance to watch this amazing professional work. And take the brand through the tough times. all of us have coined this word flanner ISM and pluralism is of course the way David conducts business, which is at the intersection of three things one game super professional who is in my humble opinion one of the best CFOs For any kind of business, especially in the restaurants. Second is the highest level of integrity and with David in the team. You don't have to worry about even being in the gray area. And third is him being a team player and that's something really need to watch and listen to In This podcast is how many times David brings in stories boss or his direct reports and their future success simply priceless and he does that with that amazing David Clarice smiled wage. Here are some key insights David talks about never let a good problem go to waste. CFO talking about waste. This is the man who is to give us credit for any unnecessary expense because he only wanted to focus on the brand and Chef value. Priceless concept learning from what does not work is never a waste of time another example and Leadership starts with acknowledging. We got a problem. And I think this is so important critical is so many times after a problem. We waste time. Good night. If we were firefighters arguing, there's no fire. Or arguing whose fault it is does not save lives before you walk it later right now. Let's act and that action. As a sea of four made David very unique and it's worth listening to David also talks about curiosity is the drive to always dig a little think. As a leading the marketing efforts, who do I talk to when I need to brainstorm David Flannery. Can you believe? CFO whose natural perception for mostly a force in my humble opinion is to put boundaries necessary rules. But David was the creative mind always these opportunities. Leaders are known by the caliber of Team defend. You must listen to every story of David's team members. And their success and finally this piece of advice is very important for any business. Who has external financial reporting whether it is to your investors or if you're publicly traded to Wall Street David talked about managing Walnut Creek always starts with guidance that is conservative. Tell them quickly. Tell them the truth with no surprises. At the end of your telling they must know that this is the earliest you could have shared for this is the whole story. There's nothing else. Then tell them what you're doing about it. Transparency competence in a blend that is where you create the core welt Equity of assurance in the mind of your investors. And incredible conversation took me back down the memory lane to amazing moments in the corporate trenches and lessons off and racism. I'm really proud honored shared those with you. Enjoy, please subscribe to the podcast and you can listen to it at Apple podcast Google or anywhere else you listen to podcast or you can also listen to at Zen mango.com home. Thank you. Enjoy this you've been listening to secrets to win big with our June said founder and CEO of Zen mango Brandon, whispered off top brand growth driver and a former Fortune 500 executive who has been called one of the most marketing intelligent Minds in the business to learn more visit www.inc.com share this podcast with your friends and subscribe wherever you like to listen to podcasts.

David founder and CEO David Flannery CFO netsuite Papa John David Clarice business owner Benihana vice president of marketing Oracle Apple Walnut Creek Google Brandon executive five minute
A fallen, abominable, wicked girl

Decomposed with Jade Simmons

41:44 min | 2 years ago

A fallen, abominable, wicked girl

"On a fall night in eighteen twenty eight in ornate glass carriage pulled up outside of the famous concert hall in Leipzig, Germany. The door opened this little girl climbed out and she was sobbing. This was at the van house these spot in town the biggest stars of classical music had played their Mozart vaber. You name it that night. The place was packed with the town's elite eager to see a new performer and up. Those stairs. Went this little girl. Wiping at our tears. There'd been a dreadful mistake the wrong carriage had picked her up at home. And now she was late and her father was impatiently waiting for her when she got to him. She was shaking nervous and still crying. He told her to calm down. He needed her to pull it together. And she did nine year old Clara Schumann walked out onto the stage. I'm Jade Simmons. And this is decomposed. We bring you the stories that have shaved classical music, the heartbreaks portrayals, and the acts of sheer genius that changed everything. I'm a pianist and composer played all over the world. But I didn't start at the piano until I was eight which is like over the hill in the world of classical music sounds crazy. But it's true people in most careers don't start in preschool. But in my industry, it's expected, and it's been that way for centuries. You've heard the stories Mozart at a piano at three. Beethoven performing at seven. Chopin already composing full scores by that age a name that doesn't get mentioned often in that conversation. Clara schumann. If you're thinking Schumann, I know that name you're probably thinking of Robert Schumann her husband. He was the popular one are prolific imposer. And even if you don't know the pieces by name, you've probably heard his work. The only reason you ever heard of him or his music, that's because of Clara she made his work possible while composing her own music too. When I look back at Clara when I hear her music. I think about how she really was attempting the impossible and in some ways she pulled it off in other ways history kept her down. This is the story of a woman who was born to play and refuse to stop. This is the story of Clara Schumann. Whatever it is that child prodigies have Clara had it at five she could play by ear. She could transpose she could improvise her brain just work that way. She was her father's pet project for shore. Friedrich vedic was trying to build a reputation as a piano teacher, and what better way to do that. Then a turn out another little Beethoven. And if he could do that with his daughter, just a magin what he could do with your son. Friedrich train Clara for an hour every day, and then she'd practice for at least two more. And this is when she still seven eight nine years old. Performer wants brag that she didn't have time to play with dolls, especially not with other children. We know a lot about this part of Clara's early musical career because there's a diary that documents all of it. Well, I mean, it's technically her diary, but it was her father writing the entries at first, and he wrote them as if he were Clara just listen to this entry, my father who long had hoped for change of disposition on my part observed again today that I am just as lazy careless disorderly disobedient etcetera as ever. Yeah. That's her father writing in her voice in her diary that she's lazy talk about mind games. Despite all that supposed laziness and carelessness though Clara was an undeniable star and a resume was stacked first public performance at nine I solo concert at eleven then her. Other took her on the road to Paris, and she was a hit. It's not bad. No other women played the piano. They did. They just played at home. In private like, it was a party trick. If you're refined young lady, maybe you could trot out a Sinatra to impress an eligible bachelor knowing how to play the piano, meant you were educated and your family was rich enough to shell out for the lessons. I know that sounds like an outdated way to value woman's worth. But if I'm being honest, I went to school with girls whose families still thought that way they wanted their daughters to play so they'd seem cultured not so they would actually perform those girls had no plans of ever making it to the state, but I did and sewed it Clara. She was going to play on stage in public. Scandals. What Clara was doing was unheard of for the time. You see they're pretty much only a few reasons of women should ever be in the spotlight if you were Queen in opera singer or an actress an actress is definitely had a reputation. Clara defied all that when she came out on stage the audiences seem to forget she wasn't supposed to be there. They poured into the concert where she played they raved about her. But here's the brutal truth about projects. They grow up they stopped being the adorable little geniuses who can barely reach the keys. How do you make the leap from prodigy too serious musician can you and what's the cost especially when you're fighting against years and years of tradition that says who can play and who can't for Clara? There would be no easy answers. While young Clara was racking up the accomplishments. Her father was still taking on new music students some of them even moved in with the family everybody cozy under the same roof. That's how Robert Schumann entered Clara's life. She was still just a kid when they first met he was almost a decade older. And he had an even later start to studying music than I did definitely later than Clara despite that late start, though, he was fantastically talented Friedrich veto him in as a student and offered him a place in his house. You can see where this is going. Robert bonded with Clara and her brothers. They all play a raids he dresses as a ghost and chase them around the house. He played with them like they were children because they were. But as young as she was Clara was also his competition. Friedrich would praise his daughter as she sat at the piano. Meanwhile, telling Robert that he was playing like a dog and Friedrich Clara on tour a lot. Meaning he wasn't always around for Roberts lessons Clara was Friedrich's. Absolute priority, while Robert was left at home bored out of his mind doing elementary level finger exercises. Despite the competitive tension, and that age difference again, Robert and Clara grew close. They took long walks talked endlessly about music when Clara was twelve she got a letter from Robert that read, I often think of you not as a brother of a sister, nor is a boyfriend girlfriend he wrote but as a pilgrim before distant shrine. Clara's rockstar performances. They weren't enough not for her father and not for the expectations of the time schrool. Great musicians. The thinking went back then needed to write their own work. If you didn't compose you were just two hands at a piano, so Clara as she always did rose to the task. Have you ever written music? It is hard. Creating something out of nothing. Pulling an entirely new composition out of the air. Well, it's hard for some of us anyway, but Clara she turned out this concerto at sixteen. She performed it back at the von house surrounded by the city's orchestra. Sixteen years old. Critics were impressed one wrote that if the name of the female composer were not on the title, one would never think it were written by a woman. That of course was a compliment for the time. When I think about Clara, I think about her being caught in this trap. And she was remarkable because she was a woman something to talk about gossip about be totally shocked by can you believe that girl just played that? Well. For the record Clara wasn't just a great composer for a woman. She was a great composer period. Her work is powerful full of harmonic surprises. Robert Schumann wasn't the only musical genius in their relationship. And that relationship it's just about to get started. The tangled situation begins when a teenage Clara comes back from one of their performance tours after being away from months and Robert Schumann looks at her. Oh, she's not a kid anymore. Forget that pilgrim shrines stuff. There's definitely something else there despite the age difference. The two of them start in eighteen hundreds era and Fatua wish in writing letters to each other constantly even dedicating compositions to one another which is seriously romantic. I mean, why isn't anyone do that anymore? But romance side Roberts world was a lot darker than Clara new. He was composing turning out new work, but his diaries telev- losing his mind of deep fits of melancholy. Things that sound today light classic symptoms of depression in injury to his hand made it worse. He couldn't fully play his own music the middle finger on his right hand. When completely stiff imagine sitting at a piano with music in your head. What you can't play. Clara was the bright light for him smart talented beautiful and capable of getting his work in front of an audience. She had the spotlight, and she could charm people in a way, he just couldn't. She was perfect. I just wanna say Robert Schumann fell in love with a lot of women like his three sisters in law. Maybe a wealthy married family friend. He even got engaged to one of Clara's, friends and fellow piano students who also live with VX, but he was done with all that now at Clarice sixteenth birthday party, Robert and a bunch of friends pulled their money to buy her a gold watch the champagne was flowing and after dinner Clara sat down at the Pano. Her guest all around her. She put her fingers to the keys. And she played one of Robert's pieces. The schedule f sharp minor Sohn. When I listen, I can imagine she felt his eyes on her back as she played it that night mastering his music playing perfectly. What came out of his head? Not long after Clara. And Robert had a rare moment alone at our father's house. It was dark out Clara offered to walk Robert down the stairs holding a lamp, but he stopped her before they reached the bottom he kissed her. And she nearly dropped the lamp Clara was clearly head over heels. I kiss I love you think she'd wanna run and write about it in her diary, but no, she's a sixteen year old girl head-spinning with all these new emotions, and she can't write down a word of it. Because her father, still reads her diary. And Friedrich v had bigger plans for Clara than marrying Robert Schumann Claire was more than just Friedrich's daughter. She was his whole life. He poured all his time all his money all his dreams into Clara marriage would end her career and Friedrich would lose his prized pet. When Friedrich found out, Robert and Clara conspired to meet in secret in dressed in. He lost it he'd always treated Clara differently from his sons, she escaped his rage and his threats until now Friedrich threatened Clara. If you see Robert again, I will shoot him. And of course, he picked up her diary and wrote in it about what she'd done. After the threats. He took her away on tour. Father and daughter cooped up together for every mile of every road. From town town to town Friedrich trashing the love of her young life Friedrich treating her like property his to show off. She was the talent. But he had made her. Friedrich manage to keep Clara and Robert apart for almost eighteen months without a word between them, but still when Clara sat down at the piano. She would play Roberts music. Just before Clara turn eighteen she and Robert found a way to reconnect smuggling letters back and forth through a friend. If anything they were even more in love. Now, they became secretly engaged and they hatched a plan for Robert to formally ask Friedrich for permission to marry Clara. Which after that whole threatening the shoot him in eighteen months of four silence. Was a pretty bold move. They're feeling optimistic. I guess. It definitely didn't work Friedrich v said, no. There was no way Robert could make enough money to support his Clara. And he warned marriage would end Clara's career. So Friedrich took Clara on the road again on tour in Vienna. She wowed she was a full blown star. She played to sold out concert halls. The lines to buy tickets to our shows got so out of hand the police were called in to contain them diners. Vienna were sitting down to enjoy a slice of tort Alvik a special cake named for her. She was given the title of Royal and imperial chamber virtuoso the highest possible honor for a musician. It had only ever been given to men until Clara. It was everything. Her father had ever dreamed for her. But Clara wanted something more. She wanted Robert Friedrich refused to give permission for them to marry he threatened to this owner disinherit her so Clarin Robert sued in court for the right to marry which is where all great marriages start right with the lawsuit. The legal battle over Clarice future. Quickly turned nasty Friedrich refused to give Clara money. She earned performing. He tried to write her out of his will he even tried to Bill her after the fact for all those years of lessons, and he insulted Robert every chance he got it one point he called Roberts first symphony symphony of contradictions which I know it's not the best burn. But believe me at the time, it sounded very harsh Friedrich went after Clara to he wrote to people calling her a fallen abominable wicked girl after year of this very public family drama that it felt like everyone was gossiping about Clara. And Robert finally got an answer the court sided with them. They married the day before Clarice twenty first birthday, but it wasn't going to be all lovebirds and. Beethoven after the break if life as a woman uses in the eighteen hundred seem difficult, wait until you put a ring on it. You're looking for more fascinating, stories and phenomenal music. Go to your classical dot org. You can stream classical music twenty four seven and find out more about the people bought hind the notes, it's all at your classical dot org. I'm jason's. And this is decomposed. After finally getting married despite her father's wishes Clara received a gift from Robert anew diary, but wait for it. It was a diary that they would share for some reason Clara could not escape this weird. World of invasive, diary arrangements. Robert had a very specific plan for the shared diary. They take turns writing in it. Switching off weeks and handing over to each other Sunday mornings at breakfast to read what the other one had written when it was her week with the diary. She gushed about how wonderful everything was. She wrote father has always laughed at so called domestic bliss how I pity those who do not know it. They are only half alive. With clear wasn't all in on domestic bliss. She still wanted to perform she wanted to. Wow. The crowds Robert said he'd prefer. She not perform as much now that they were married. He said he wanted her to settle down which makes me want to ask Robert seriously. Do you remember who you just married? Clara wasn't about to trade one man telling her what to do for another the spring after her wedding. She took to the stage again at the von house, and she did it five months pregnant. The crowd of Leipzig's finest went wild like nothing she'd ever experienced before. And that's coming from the woman who had a cake named after her. She soaked up the applause, the star of the show and she played like never before from there. She just kept going. She kept performing kept composing as if doing her absolute best to prove everyone wrong. She could get married and still be a musician. She could be a mother and still compose. A month before giving birth to her first child she finished not one not two but three new songs. for a moment. Clara was right. She could have at all. But Robert's career was taking off to the pressure was increasing their family was growing and her time to herself kept shrinking. She wrote this entry in her diary knowing full well that Robert would read it after the next Sunday morning hand off. The motor Robert involves himself with his art the less. I can do as an artist heaven knows. There are always interruptions and small is our household is I always have this and that to do and that robs me of my time. Robert felt guilty. But what was he supposed to do? Give up his work never going to happen. But Clara wasn't going to give up hers. Either. She kept touring. She made it work. But it took an army babysitters wet, nurses, throwing a maid. She was making good money. She could afford it. She even played for the Danish court. She left the baby at home, and she was fine. Robert on the other hand sank into a deep depression. He borrowed money from his friends and drank a little more than he should not only was the love of his life gone. So was his muse. He wrote to Clara. I feel dead without. But as much as Robert hated when Clara was gone, he knew that her concerts paid the bills. She wasn't established star while his music was still finding an audience. She could earn more in a few weeks performing then Robert did in a whole year despite that Clara still had the fight for time at the piano there were two in their house. But the walls were thin Clara had to wait until Robert wasn't playing and the kids weren't crying nothing else needed doing right, then she wrote in their diary, there's not even one little our to be found in the whole day for myself. I can relate I wanna reach across time until Clara I hear you. I didn't even tell my manager. I was pregnant until I was six months along. I was determined not to let motherhood slow me down or change. The course of my career after having kids. I played a huge crowds and pats concert halls than I'd be right back home, forty eight hours later doing laundry cooking breakfast. It's a fight that still doesn't have an answer. Sometimes my home life, and my creative life are at odds. So I watched Clara through a diaries, and she was doing everything teaching music students ranging music for Robert editing. Other composers work overseeing music publications taking care of a fast, growing number of kids and something had to give she began to compose less and less. But she would still return to it in her darkest moments. less than four years into their marriage. Robert had a major breakdown he was racks now with health problems, physical and mental at one point. He was in a panic because he thought he was going blind other times he felt almost two week to cross the room Clara would wake up in the morning to find him soaked in his own tears. Nothing helped Robert would compose in short burst of creative activity, but then he couldn't get out of bed for days. Amidst the chaos Clarice fifth pregnancy ended in miscarriage. She was devastated. So she compose. Music. She'd later, right. Was her best distraction from pain? It was her escape the music that came out of this brutal moment, this panel trio, it's considered to be her masterpiece. Claris music really had a way of personifying. The soul is feeling. And she let herself feel good about her skills for a moment. There are some nice sections in the trio. She wrote I believe that it's form is rather. Well executed. But a year later Robert wrote, his own piano trio. And it's then that Clara Royal and imperial chamber virtuoso began a doubt or. After hearing. Roberts trio changed her mind and wrote better own trio remained. Of course, the work of a woman. She now thought it lacked force an adventure. Her whole life became about Robert as his health rapidly declined he began to hear voices. Sometimes they were angels bringing music sometimes they were demons threatening him with hell the voices tortured him making it impossible for him to sleep Clara must have been terrified watching what was happening to him. He started to hallucinate screamed in pain thinking hyenas and Tigers were attacking him. All she could do was keep the household together. Robert needed Clara more than ever when she wasn't performing to support the family. She was at home with him and on the rare occasions Clara was able to compose. She wrote pieces of music as presents for Robert for his birthday. She composed variations on one of his themes. It was the last birthday spend together. On a rainy Monday morning and February of eighteen fifty four Clara asked her oldest daughter Marie only twelve to watch her father while she spoke with the doctor. But Robert wandered out of the house in just slippers and a house coat. It was the middle of carnival celebrations, and the streets were filled with people in costumes. So maybe nobody noticed the man in his rope. He ran through the crowd and stopped at the top of a bridge over the Rhine, then he threw himself over the edge. But he didn't die. Some fishermen pulled him out of water bystanders, walked him home. No one told Clara what had happened just a couple of days later. He was admitted to an asylum. A long train ride away the doctors at the asylum. What let Clara visit Robert they were convinced seeing her would only make his condition worse. It was now Clara's responsibility alone to support her family with medical bills piling up to friends and fans from all over wrote to Clara offering to help someone even tried to put on a benefit concert for Clara and her kids. But Clara really hated the idea. She rejected that plan in a letter writing. I will never allow anyone to give a concert for me that I will do for myself when it is necessary. That's exactly what she did Clara. Again, Torah limitless sleep in one six month period cheaper formed in twenty one different cities. She was filled with worries longing she wrote, but also a desperate need to provide. And there was nobody stopping her now. Only. Now, I fully aware of how splendid it is to be an artist Clara wrote to a friend as my suffering. Enjoy become expressed in divine music. She played in city after city Robert was getting worse tucked away from the world Clara wasn't allowed to visit. This went on for almost two years Clara getting updates only by letter Clara never seeing Robert finally knowing he might not live out the year. She'd ignored the doctors and went to see her husband. She was turned away the first two times, she visited, but finally she convinced them to let her see Robert she found him in his room barely conscious. He died. Two days later at each forty six. Clara outlive, Robert by forty years. But in that time, she composed just one more piece. Her romance and be minor. Looking at this time line. It's tempting to think that Clara's composing slowed and eventually stopped entirely because Robert was gone, but I think the stories more complicated than that Clara toward and performed almost non-stop after Robert's death and slowly she started to think about our career differently. She began to think of herself as an interpreter of work rather than a composer. And a letter from touring years. She writes, I may not be a creative artist. But still I am recreating. The times were changing along with Clara back when she was a child prodigy pianist were expected to compose but forty years later that wasn't the case the performer and the composer could be separate now and appreciated in their own right? Clara Schumann was one of the first to memorize the music for recital. Thanks, a lot Clara setting the standard for piano, performance that we still follow today. She's also remembered as an important interpreter of other people's music, not just her husband's but Beethoven's and Brahms who knows how much she's responsible for their legacies. I mean, she's like the ultimate influencers for this era in music, some people even think that Roberts music would not be remembered today without Clara promoting and playing it almost her whole life. She was determined that the world remember, Robert Schumann's, knee, and she succeeded she toward toward and she made his music famous. But one evening near the end of her life at the Saint James hall in London. She decided to do something different something rare. Clara took the stage. She done this a thousand times before she was sixty six now, maybe moving a little slower than she had before her gray hair was pulled back her fingers at the keys. I picked your her there on that stage. After all she'd lived through still up there playing. It makes me think of a line from her diary, which she wrote years before she said, I once believed I had creative talent. But I have given up this idea. A woman must not wish to compose. There never was one able to do it. And I intended to be the one it would be arrogant to believe that. Guts me to read that to know that she felt that way. But this night in London at this concert. She didn't play just Roberts music. She didn't just play the work of others. She sat down and she played variations opus twenty. Her own music. A p she'd never played before in public a piece that she'd composed despite the doubting and their critiques any expectations of what a woman could. And couldn't do. That night is she played. I like to think she believes she could be the one. And she made space for those of us who followed. For a complete listing of the music. You heard in this episode, go to decompose show dot org. That's decomposed show dot org for more about the music. You heard this episode. You'll also see our reading list there for this episode. We definitely recommend sounds and sweet airs the forgotten women of classical music by Anna, beer, and Clara Schumann the artists. And the woman by Nancy be Reich. Decomposed is hosted by me, Jade Simmons. It's produced by Tracy Mumford and Ryan Lor Chris Julian is our editor this episode was written by Elissa Dudley, Tracy, Mumford and me sound design by vowel Keller engineering by John Steele, and Michael Osborne. Thanks to Elizabeth Lundy. Our researcher Ryan cats, our fact checker and garett Tetum. For shaping the sound. The interim director of podcast for a PM is Loren d. Decomposed is made possible by inspired by you NPR's capital campaign and the generosity of Ruth in John Hus much of the music featured is courtesy of Naxos of America Inc. Decomposed is a public radio podcasts that is supported by your donations this show and shows like it only happened with your support donate today to hear more shows like this from APM podcasts. Give today at decomposed dot org slash don't.

Friedrich Clara Clarin Robert Clara Schumann Robert Schumann Robert Friedrich Clara Clara Royal Roberts Beethoven Clarice Jade Simmons Leipzig Germany Robert Schumann Claire Mozart Chopin Sinatra Paris
MS14 | "That's a normal thing people say." + Ep.15 Exciting Scenes

Applesauce & Horsefeathers

16:41 min | 1 year ago

MS14 | "That's a normal thing people say." + Ep.15 Exciting Scenes

"Christie you look lovely in your beautiful Tiara and I know you agreed on chairman. Qiao your formal normal gown. Thank you you also. I loved these long gloves. Thank you I just thought for the occasion that it would be really good to distress up in have our finance China and The doilies by the way under our bowls do you like the gold as you. The goals of flatware I tell If not gold plated it's pure note it's pure this it's it's just beautiful in this spoon. Boon fit for queen. It's for special occasions. Like what like crackling out brand special special occasion cereal. There are so many reasons why I love you and this is one of them. What's funny funniest okay? So I was editing episode. Fourteen on cereal and no I wasn't I was it wasn't I don't even know where I was doing. I was editing Minnesota Thirteen and then I pulled up episode fourteen fourteen to pull some soundbites and so I'm kind of skipping ahead and then I got to the part and I say it's a special special occasion cereal and you know what's even funnier here. Neither one of US say anything about that. We're just go on like yeah. That's that's a normal thing you know I mean normally you just have your your honey nut cheerios areas. That's like an everyday cereals racing but when when it's a really special occasion you know when you wake up and you're like oh I just need I just need ballgown on. I just want to wear it. I know I'll have Greg Ode brand. That's so funny so I think I don't know if we talked about. I rarely eat cereal And after that episode. I think it was last week. Guess what I Made Myself For dinner. See we all a bowl of cereal in a glass of red wine. I I didn't really. It was really the milk and eat them at the same time. Drink yet but it was releasing in between and I took a picture. Because I'm like wow adulting at its finest is really great. We're going to have to post that picture. Yeah not one of my finer moments I We definitely have been getting cereal so susceptible to all kinds of like we talk about cheese and like I need cheese for three weeks straight ninety cereal. I got his notice. Listen to hear that it's me not I'm not eating a cracker. Made me laugh so much in true crime you have you. I haven't listened to it yet. It's hysterical just at one point you do say okay. So I'm going to eat a cracker and she's not even eating it in the microphone for phone with the microphone just picks up everything and I eat everything and then another time user crunch crunch funny and you can't. I couldn't really take it out because we only have. The one migrate now. So we want to get it to where we have separate Mike's and they're on separate tracks so we so we can talk out at sage track or when I'm talking to I can I can. I could bring me down so we you can actually hear what you have to say. They have like preset things. Like you can make you can make your own preset like. I always want to do this. Yes they do. We should have one. That's called cracker and it's that it automatically detects when sages eating cracker in just takes out that sound. I doesn't have noise reduction but I'm not sure not sure quite that's more room. I'm Tony and the other funny thing. Was Hawking Oh hugging had a lot of thoughts yet. Here's the deal. Hawking sleeps all day long unless unless anti foot is over and then I we must do a five minute. Almost knocked the couches over run back and forth crazy to ans- and then does almost not so fast remassed bark at her her and let her know that I'm here. I'm here to play. You WanNa play plaguing me all his toys. I had to throw stuff the entire time when I wasn't eating crackers which you heard because you were just randomly through? We're talking about something serious. You know true crime and then here this nails on the floor. It's pretty cute. And then he just had a lot of thoughts on true crime especially as as we mentioned the crime of not getting all the treats although he ventured ahead which is when he showed up that crime. Homa maybe I just love it would he. He's here in the backyard. So that's our pod dog this is you away us the mummy for not paying hint tencent exactly and if we're still what are you doing. Hey Anti me. You haven't talked to me and three seconds to talk to looking at me. Are you giving me massages heading me. Are there treats love you wash how much how well it will be. Oh Oh quite cute. Look how beautiful closer. Look so there hi clarice sitting staring at us overlooking the whole thing. I'm sorry you're talking about the dog and not me and yes exactly. She's also sitting on top of her her little wand toy yet. No does you've got one one great coming up at the top of your head. Oh it's so sorry. That picture will be posted hosted as well. Yeah you know. Do you have any any more thoughts on cereal on true. Cry Wait Cereal. That was the last one we did not true crime. I have an update on to crime. I gave in a few days ago and ordered ordered savage appetite. I can't wait Rachel Maddow so you get it so that Simeon you may need I sent enough. I'm on a roll. My goal. This this year was to read. Okay think last year I read. Maybe a book. Yeah maybe that's what. I'm having been here this this year. My goal was to read twelve bucks and I think I am a little behind. I think I'm only at six or seven while you're doing much better than I am. But some people need a ton. Yeah so that was my goal Some doing really well. Good job what have you been reading. Thank you What are you reading right now? I don't have to maintain in memory memory. I don't have to memory at all. Do I foot up. I won't it down some well. so you both of The one you just gave me yes There are no children here right and I'm actually reading. He did it Follow Up Book and I'm reading that. And who is he i. Yeah he's the author other. Obviously I mean Hilo Ha Alex Kotla wits Lewitt's K. O. T. L. O. W. view. I T. Z.. Koplowitz short and he doesn't do Kotla bits. Vitol Lewitt's Yeah it's it's it's a fascinating book about two brothers that grow up In a specific area in Chicago at the Henry Hornere homes and it was that one is theranos children here. Yeah Yeah I can't wait to unbelievable. Unbelievable anyway he just did another one. That came out and I'm reading that one and I'm really enjoying it as well as much as this one. This one was more story story form. And the one that I'm reading now is more like a little blip about somebody and then another block about somebody else until I got into this as as but anyway Any thoughts on Syria. Yes it makes makes for a really good dinner paired with lovely red wine I if I would have gone with red eye maybe something sweeter converts to Meaner we demeanor. I like to say verge demeanor but I don't like to drink. It's very sweet. Yeah it's like Miss Scotto Scotto says we'd I can't drink it. I know so you know what whine reminds me of Yummy and cheese. epicurious US EPA Curien at the cure us a curious right all I knows. It's Chang from a particular Greek and I think his name was epic. Curious EPA Curien or a Greek word. Greece is in there somewhere. Also I like Greek food Mediterranean food yes. Good I just like food. Food food is a good thing. All the foods well I found something and I texted save said God this was as we look for the. We found a cereal bar near US right next to the mission wine and liquor that we both love to go to because there have been introduced us to that and that was a brilliant. Elliot Find He. I mean it's not it's a couple of miles away it's a it's A. It's a drive for us but They're they're so amazing and helpful knowledgeable. Yeah Yeah Yeah. Yeah and they always steered in the right direction. Even if the first time he went there they were like yeah. This one's more expensive. This one's better so title have this way. So they're they're really great cereal bar that's like we're not gonNA go until they had downtown. La Yeah like. I'm not going to go downtown. La To pay fourteen dollars for a bowl of cereal. That's pure sugar that I'm not gonNA eat yet. They have what was it. They do the one downtown. They do all kinds of things I know maybe not. I don't remember. We talked about it in the episode. You guys know what we're talking about even if we don't but this one here it it's called. It was called cereal bar wasn't it no Anyway we'll find are headed up but yeah and it's ice cream cream with and you can have all kinds of cereal on it out. I told you when we ran out of milk. One time my mom let me have I'm wondering get this. One is the milk that is soft. Serve ice cream. Or that's not what I meant to say if the soft serve ice cream him or the ice cream they have is cereal milk. 'cause I know a lot of places. We'll do that. A lot of cereal places will do that. So it's got. It has that flavor of cereal Israel milk after you're finished with the cereal Oh and I'm I'm not sure we were going to try and go there. We can still actually. It's not like we can never do with again. No we've cereal. That was that was that was so. Yeah so that's our big cereal update that there is a cereal bar within a couple of miles sales in the valley of us in the valley. It looks really good. And it's right next door to the The Robin Hood Pub. which we've never been to me and and then there's a dessert place or bakery right next door to that and then right next door to that is mission wine and liquor? So we've got an entire tired day planned breakfast. Dessert got breath bar hopping and then we can do lunch at the at the pub And then dessert an take a bottle to go and that yeah and then we go back to the palm because you have to have dinner true and then you've got dessert so we'll go back to consumer for dessert our entire day's meals and one block. Yeah exactly not even a mock four doors. I love it. Brilliant whoever planned this and then afterwards will have an eye cigarette. 'cause we're doing tobacco again. Maybe we'll just watch people. Who Do we have cigarettes? I'm not a big. I'm not trying to get them to quit is a I ah. I'm interested to hear what we come up with on tobacco me to all right. Should we hear some little are going to be proud of me and you'll find out why next week ooh good I'm proud of you also In case you didn't know you can find us at the podcast all over the place h and if you would like to go and see some of the information that we talk about on our blog you I should. That's all the PODCAST DOT com slash show dash notes. But you know it's easier to go to the website and click on uh-huh or any of the links we we we post your everywhere all the all the all the places all the places the places. Don't get all the places because that's not. Don't go to that one who knows what's in there. Also if you listen into this in the car or while you're on the treadmill and you WanNa look at the notes later like Oh. That sounds interesting. I WanNa look at that and you kind of forget. Yeah well that's why you need to sign up for the newsletter. Because Mondays we sent it out to remind you there's a new episode but also it provides links to the episode you can listen to. The episode provides writes links to the blog with all the show notes and a couple other little goodies that I like to toss in there and you can find that all on her website. Yes all right. Stay tuned for some exciting scenes from tobacco. Exciting uh-huh do there's nothing good about. It really isn't Unicorn. Born poop is a flavor I can hear the audience. Eight point seven billion dollars alone cigarette advertising retiring and promotion in the US. It's a gift from the Creator and the smoke is carrying the thoughts and prayers to the spirits. Whitefield saying ruin everything we pretty much do wanNA percent of us. Smokers between the ages of seventeen and nineteen in the US reported using flavored tobacco products resume Stupa Columbus. So I had a problem I always. I found some industry documents. Twelve hundred revealing quotes from big tobacco ever fast enough due to the left now.

US EPA Minnesota Greg Ode tencent chairman Christie China Rachel Maddow Vitol Lewitt Miss Scotto Scotto Hawking Greece Mike Hilo Tony clarice Whitefield Chicago Syria
464: How to overcome the fear of driving - support for a new drivers anxiety

Anxiety Slayer

32:46 min | 1 year ago

464: How to overcome the fear of driving - support for a new drivers anxiety

"Welcome back to the anxiety slayer podcast. I'm shannon vander league here with my wonderful friend and co host inaugu severe we come together weekly from kent and leland aunt to sharing zayed's slayers sessions with you an answer listener questions from mar inbox in facebook page together. We share a powerful collection of techniques to reduce anxiety and this week were responding to a question about how the overcome the fear of driving car hanadova. It's good to be with you again. Talking about something that's been coming up quite a bit it and the question that came in was i'm a new driver and with love to hear about tips for calming anxiety before driving as well as what to do if you start to feel panicked while driving which is timely i will say as my daughter is learning to drive right now so with her permission. I'll be sharing some feedback from maryland as we talk about this topic today. Yeah it's great. It's great feedback from somebody. In the same situation as we've discussed before anxiety is usually a volta concern according to our vader and anything new learning new things doing new things change moving around or those things compete turn a nighttimes. I saw most practical things you can do to helpless this. That's for sure and as exciting as it can be get a driver's license for the first time the thought of getting on the road can be pretty terrifying for some people both especially new drivers and the fear of driving is also a big concern for a lot of our listeners who suffer with things -iety it may be the fear of driving on your own on whether it be for the first time or or every time to being a passenger in a vehicle with somebody else who's driving due to a sense of feeling like you're out of control which i can also speak to that so let's let's start today if it's okay with you i'd i'd like to just share some personal behind the scene stories stories about driving then then we can go into the the what to do spaces of of how to really support yourself if you do need to be driving in the world yeah so my story is that i actually enjoy driving very much but i do not like to be a passenger and sometimes longer road trips for me might be a little bit of a challenge but only because i don't do them as much as i used to and so i have i've noticed in the past year or so. I've done more long distance driving in. It's become easier and easier just because i'm doing it more but being a passenger is another thing from from me and my husband is a great driver very safe driver but he also logs thousands and thousands of miles every every here in his car so he's much more assertive than i am and i often have have like the internet. Fear reflects were a little baby. If you're laying the baby down and there aren't their arms come up that automatic thing is they sought to reflects yeah. Yes yes exactly that <hes> that will happen. If i see a. let's say you know brake lights coming on but but he isn't slowing down or what i call the oh shit handle on the side of the car when we're going around curves and stuff my hand automatically goes up to grab that and it's not a rational thing. I guess is my point. I know that i'm safe driving with my husband. It's that i don't like the sensations that sometimes times we'll go through my body when we're going through those curves or when i feel like he should be slowing down because i'm seeing something that obviously he sees to. He's just responding to differently than i would so i really work on that to the best of my ability so that we don't have a whole lot of arguments in the car he pretty much just kind of shakes his head and keeps driving and i try to be as heck is quiet as i can be and that's not always possible so in my daughter's case. She's a brand new driver and she doesn't like driving she. She tells me i hated did the weight of the responsibility in her mind is so huge chance that she could hurt someone. She doesn't even really talk about herself. South she talks about hurting someone else and how <hes> how much anxiety she feels with the constant changing roadways in drivers who might be aggressive or tailgate and how she is often worried about what is is happening behind her the vehicles that are behind her the pressure of somebody behind her. Is she moving fast enough. Should she be doing something different wire they so close that kind of stuff so we've talked at great length about her choices because where we live she needs to be able to drive or she needs to use public transportation and right now she's chosen to use the bus system system to use the public transportation to get back and forth to school and she's continuing to drive a little bit here and there but mostly mostly she just really feels like well. Maybe maybe i'll drive. Maybe i won't drive. Maybe i live in an urban area because that was the thing is either public public transportation in an urban area or really practicing in getting behind the wheel and doing your best and and joining the ranks of drivers who drive every day so we talk a lot about the things that she can do and i have only recently allowed myself to be a passenger while my daughter's driving because of my control issues right so my husband is normally in the right seat and we we were driving and and she got pretty freaked out and it was because we were at an intersection she was gonna turn right and i mentioned that would probably be a good idea to let a car pass because it was going much faster than what she thought based on the curve of the road and whatever it's just wait one more but their cars coming up behind me and i'm really young you know like i hate this and she started to you know that thing that we do where we shallow breathe or stop breathing and i had to just kind of snap her out of of it and say you know stop. Take a deep breath and let's focus. What's on front of you. As soon as this car passes you can turn right and she did did and she said you know i just i just don't like the way that feels. I just don't like all these cars coming up behind me and so we talked about the things you can do certainly taking a deep breath of focusing on what's in front of you instead of what's behind you and pulling over in a safe way as soon as you possibly can. If you really need like it feel like you really need to take a break but in this particular instance what i found to be the most telling was what was going on behind us you know and and to really share with her that yeah it's good to be mindful of. What's happening all around you and behind you when you're driving but the most most important thing is to keep your eyes forward and to focus on the path ahead of you because if you even if you're going too slow for for some they'll pass you know even if you're a little bit confused about where you might be turning or whatever you'll catch up with yourself and you'll use your indicator and you'll turn you just really need to be in your own bubble focused on staying as calm as you can and as focused on what's ahead of you and that conversation i think think helped her to a degree but there's just a different state of mind for some of these young people these days in totally different than when i was growing up. I was ready to drive a car. Give me my brand new car. I was driving far younger than when i had a license and wanted wanted that freedom and for my daughter and for many of her friends. They just don't really care if they driver not so. It's it's been an interesting <unk> experienced. Thus far and my daughter is actually a very good driver very safe very conscientious. I think she's going to do just fine and this leads me to our conversation about what to do. If you're a new driver and you're feeling the way that my daughter is you just don't really like it or if you've been driving along time and you just feel anxious behind behind the wheel because of all of the things that we've talked about. We've got some some ideas that will help you for sure. Salute really the thing is i'm here. In utah. What comes to my mind is golden resilience ice in all areas of anxiety and you're saying about being peacefully in your own bubble and that is residents postal trust postal grounded nas and being less affected by others around you their their expectations of what we should do offer failing when you have drivers behind you and you fill the van making judgments about you or foreign and the more we have ah lots of body type that we talk about in our data the more susceptible we are so always things we can do kohl south catch to reduce genuine zaidi jemele ninety dan that goes into everything we do job interviews travel meetings presentations driving is just another the one of those areas with really broad and deep could nutrition address but self calf driving requires us to be allot but also a degree relaxed is looking relaxed. Awareness is no good peripheral vision good knowledge of everything that's going on around you. The more we feel grounded in ourselves. The less were affected by expectations of those behind and around us. I think there is a genuine situation relation with his more speed will volume of traffic on the roads east isan. I often think of young people getting up to pace with that. I think is certainly certainly more intense to drive anything we can do from increasing self care increase in confidence learning some practical the skills for the specifics vow and sons around driving looking to identify what specifically wayfair because it's not the same for everyone. Some might be more concerned about what's going on behind them. As in mary's case others might may just find it generally overwhelming they might not like junction sel roundabout so night driving every autumn season. I have to rage us tonight. Driving not use those headlights coming towards men. I enjoy driving his light in the evenings. Every year. I have to readjust tonight. Dazzling glare of lights coming towards lease. Whatever is specifically clearly that we need to support ourselves with that's the first step is is getting down to the specifics but is in particular that you don't like about the experience and then to get support for that and you might like to get some paper and jot down your thoughts. Get really really clear about what it is that you don't enjoy i i. I'm with you and ongoing. I don't really enjoy driving at night. Where i live is pretty rural area so there's not a lot of traffic at night but the one main road road takes me into traverse. City is is pretty busy in especially when it's getting dark here at five thirty six p._m. And n people are coming and going from work and that's that's just a part of it that i don't like so that would go down on my list by writing the step down you can start using t- tapping in to defuse your fears and to help you feel more calm and confident on the road and there are some examples setup statements that we have in our show notes and then i'll share with you now <hes> as well even though i'm afraid to hurt myself or someone else i love and accept myself. Even though i feel anxious before driving i love and accept myself. Even though i struggle driving in lots of traffic i love and accept myself plus you can tap for your loved ones and this is something that unagi taught me a while ago and i've been recently tapping from erin in her discomfort and you know the the jury's still out as far as whether that's helping her or not but it's certainly helping me to be more available and more calm in supporting her <hes>. I'd love for you to talk a little bit about how tapping for somebody else can help. Tapping is so versatile the ways in which we can use it and when we tap for ourselves tapping only meridian points in the sequence and i should mention that if you'd like to knock those points if you're not familiar with you can find them on our website tags <unk> dot com forward slash f. T. is a diagram of the top and points. We title narrow boat is using using topping our own system for somebody else. I think he's a remarkable expression of empathy and as you said shan the first thing it does is it gets us out away and puts us in that compassionate. Stay tuned for somebody else so very often. When somebody comes to us with an anxiety exciting they have it will trigger something in us and we will respond from ourselves attacking puts that aside puts us aside and puts us in a compassionate frame of mind for somebody else and it sends positive intention of helping them get through the issues and sunning them people have tapped till now noun meridian points for concern about young children for pets for phobias in others because the underlying principle e._f._t. Tapping shopping is that it works on the energy system of the body to meridian system of the body so it's looking at south level unless a little where we all interconnect more readily so what's happening on our own energy system sending good intention to somebody else which is always a good thing to do with there are reports of quite remarkable walkable breakthrough in that aaron in my own life when topical myself for others. Sometimes it's been other sooner different area. They maybe in a different country. It's just a way of really filling that you're sitting with them undoing something for them sending some intention some hating eating intention for them it is a nice thing to do but many reportedly this is harmful. I'm gonna keep it up. That's for sure because i realized realized that as parents our children watch us drive and they watch us as passengers and it occurred to me that some of what merrin is experiencing might not even be hearse. It might be a mine it might be tom's it might be. It might be something else and so if i can clear my own stuff and then help and and be more supportive of her. I'm i'm gonna do it yeah. That's that's two sided benefit double benefit of tapping getting clarice getting yourself out of the way i putting your own issues to wrestle the fully available particularly with our children. That's a wonderful thing to do. I remember my daughter about five years ago coming to me with something quite intense and it triggered me so in my head i'm thinking okay. How do i support her and i already triggered it. I can feel anxiety building. My road and i didn't want her to see my face. A reflection of anxiety. I wanted to see me come open receptive unready to support so i told her carefully as i count and then i took myself off tapping to clear my own faults amount triggered so that i was able shop for her. She think about interactions. We have with others when we share our concerns with others. Sometimes people won't just give rebuff offer enough for me and that's no good feeling yeah. People are triggered had heavy health diagnosis a few years ago. I was a who can trigger for people with sure he stepped back from me because i had a diagnosis that people were never solve montgomery trigger on legs yeah and that's very isolating bright. I had my support and i was okay by it's interesting for me to preserve some people would literally hug me and push me away. Huk may push away by my shoulder keeping me on land because of their own anxiety there on stuff sure so if gift gives us the opportunity to put our own stuff to rest which is always good when we traded sickle cell cam of but it gives us the opportunity to engaged with more presence and deeper connection and deeper empathy. <hes> and i don't think we can ever underestimate the value of doing that for somebody for any any somebody particularly those that were not care. Anita simple agree fully when we come back. We'll share more tips to help you feel more comfortable while driving you can find out exactly how to calm your fear of driving in in our overcome your fear of driving many course which is available on our patron. This is where we include tapping demonstration that you can follow tap along along with to help you get started quickly and easily in overcoming your anxiety about driving get the driving course now by becoming a patron at patriotair dot com forward slash anxiety slayer before the break we were talking about how we can tap tap for our loved ones who might be suffering a fear of driving and i'd like to talk about more tips that can help if if you're a new driver or if you're a driver who just really doesn't enjoy getting behind the wheel and the very first thing is to get more more practice driving as as much as that seems counter intuitive for somebody who's afraid to dr driving is one of the only ways to get behind on your fear you simply have to practice even if you start with short trips short loops of travel and then expanding them as you get a little bit more comfortable one of the things that we've done is started with with a new driver in rural areas and then doing in a little bit more in the city a little bit more and then just little by little increasing the activity because certainly it's much busier in the the city than it is out in the country but it's again. It's it might be only an an extra mile or an extra five minutes of of of activity and then you're done it. Go at your pace but absolutely get more practice driving anytime you make a journey no matter how small small note this triumph down make sure you sit and breathe in that you actually did it and give yourself a high five for getting more experience on the road road every time you get behind the wheel you get more experience and and that's going to help you you know this is really important. Tendency of the mind when we achieve something is to say oh. It's just a small thing or i didn't do as well as somebody else saw. But what about this we'll go onto the next thing we have to face so important and aw building resilience is to note those baby steps single steps we can already fixed one thing time so have their own in tampa and you can touch for if not terrified that junctions diner did it just touch points through. I did it. I go through the junction in tap in touch with positive sin and if detoxing isn't all about top down negatives are so so many ways you can use it and leaning in two challenges with driving like driving the night concrete busy junctions it helps expand into the experience as you said shan practicing challenging ourselves and stretching just a little bit <hes> until tonight experience otherwise tends to have with anxieties it shrinks us into avoidance anxiety will shrink in will have stacks up against the wall so he needs just lean forward. If we need to go the friend that's fine save. We need to journey and it's busy busy junction action. We don't like <hes> where i live in a particular roundabout. I do not like to toys r. Fast is very aggressive but i make myself do it and the first time i did. It was such an unpleasant experience tapped. I didn't like that. I've got to do better dentist. Regular massages pulled the <unk> through and that was something that came up in our listener question here is what to do if you start to feel panics while driving driving pullover top if you can take some deep breaths steady yourself to continue acknowledging the best you can sometimes driving is challenging for everyone is happening at high speed but definitely we kind to lean in lean into charges and certainly get practices his and acknowledges success. I remember when i first went to drive. My father loved drunk for living so marriage thought he locked up a lot of miles lot of mileage driving in all kinds of conditions so when i learned to drive he would take me out for extra lessons in the evening. He would take out in the ice in the dog in fog soon. As there was some adverse weather conditions let let's get in the car and he would take me out and get used to those things assert driving on lots of ways he would get me to drive a high spades soul. Those extra things really helped as you said this will prove booting confidence in getting we'll practice building experience nicosia right and some other tips for being more comfortable behind the wheel. Look look plan ahead anytime. I'm taking a trip to somewhere. I haven't been before i'll use online maps. I'll look ahead for places to park <hes> places to visit for lunch. Rest stops whatever it might be have a real good idea. <hes> of where i'm headed in what my options are i gather as much intel as i can to make the journey really easy in this is something that we just did a couple of weeks ago. We we were headed down to grand rapids and we were staying in the city and we were going to a hotel we hadn't been to before and parking was either valet parking park yourself and there's a lot of activity going on but i had it all figured out in advance. At least i knew what to look for. I knew what the options were and then we could make those decisions and choices along the way and for for us when we drive we have rest stops along the way of every thirty miles or so on the highway so you always have a chance to pullover stretch your legs use the bathroom. Get some fresh air and then get back in the car and finish your journey. This is an important thing to look and plan ahead but also please allow for extra time when you travel feeling rushed and pressured assured is only going to increase stress and anxiety. You don't want to be in a rush. You don't want to compress anxiety with expectations -tations in thoughts of i should do this or that or in all of these things just cause more anxiety causes to expand to escalate to make you feel worse but allowing time to just do it needs to be done with plenty of time the being gentle with yourself keeping everything just nice and cool and calm. I used to tease my grandma and a now my mom tom. They would leave for church so early they had. I don't know it probably take them ten ten minutes to get there and that would be an comfortable amount of time just taking your time but they would leave half an hour ahead and just as they they got older wanted to have more and more and more time while i realize they're driving a little bit slower. They're a little bit more uncomfortable on the road than they used to because they don't drive as much as they did. Once did <hes> god forbid. They're late for church you all those things and i can kinda say tongue-in-cheek and laugh a little bit about it but what they've <unk> done is they've given themselves big cushion of time so that they don't get themselves frazzled before they go in worship yeah the last couple of things to share before we close for the day make a driving care kit. We've talked about this before but it's really important that you have some things available to you in your car while you're traveling a bottle of water or your favorite t have something thing to drink in the car at all times. Lavender oil is a wonderful essential oil to carry on. I had this little car freshener that you take the little disc out. It's a little disc of felt and you put a couple drops of essential oil and he put it back in the little holder and then as the air comes through the the vehicle through the vents <hes> the cars nicely scented with lavender. That's something that i do but you can just put it on your wrists and the at the center of your chest if you like we often talk about rescue remedy the spray or the steals and there's also another m._d. That you can consider consider is well on its the elm remedy which is helpful folk for when you feel like driving just all too much overwhelming in too much to deal with just a small kit. This is something can be in your glove box. The driving care kid is something that just takes minutes to prepare in the have with you and then as we're talking talking about avoiding or supporting yourself if you start to feel really stressed while driving there's some breathing practices that you can do while you're driving the long exhale that we've talked about many many many times will help you feel calm and that's just breathing in to count four holding it for another out or two and then exhaling as long as you can to account of seven or eight whatever's comfortable for you that long exhale will boy just a few rounds of that will help you feel more calm and relaxed belly breathing also really good for helping in both can be done while you're driving just taking a nice deep deep breath from your belly and repeating that for several rounds of your breath. We have have a few more tips before we close. You wanted to share those nanga yeah. I think <hes> having not played is something that you find calming reassuring in car. Audio's always good in the top. If you say something playing i like to listen to lectures audiobooks when i'm driving my mind is <hes> nourished to take in in information on driving particularly enjoy doing that. Also affirmations can help from in the overcome. Your fear of driving medico awesome have available on patriot shine recorded some affirmations for siphoned relaxed driving which enable this you can dumb of those and have them available valuable in the car. I think it's really helpful. Type some encouragement coming in your ears. If you're if you're driving along so considerable odio you want to have with you you something that really helped me after quite a few years of on the struggling with my health with chronic illness i was able to drive for a long long time and i never fo- i could get behind the wheel of begin again. What i did clint overwhelming. I waited until i'm absolutely sure sanction. Okay drives him. As you suggest. Shannon took some local small transom them. I would come with my daughter would say can you take behavioral can drive to friends. Snippet further afield or journey wasn't so familiar with all necessarily so keen on as i was getting used to about behind the wheel so we might overlook game we could it uh-huh checkpoint game. Chunk it down as we go so we'd have a certain bridge your around about or a challenge on ruined. If it was a fairly familiar route on on that would be like a check point the broke johnny downsize one particular journey we used student and it was broken down until about eight sections and it's latte when i got to a certain certain set of traffic lights and okay. That's not good down then the next face the church next fits the bridge and that really helped me just chunking it down into show lance. That's that's really smart might do toward sometimes make a funny noise at the checkpoint here at across the <unk> dignity checkpoint of really helped helps keep live it helps. Keep it attainable and yeah. She knew that that would help her get her transportation that she needed right broke it down into into little steps by roy son's driving alone that is something home with joni. I'd have to do to about forty minutes. Site break down into ten minutes jones okay when i get to this point on them halfway done just breaking things down checking with that can help really can't and there's just a couple more things. If you have a cell phone with you. Please turn your cell phone off or set your auto responder for incoming texts. It's really important that you stay focused on driving and you know your phone won't be there when you get to your destination. Please just leave that alone. You don't need to to play with your phone while you're driving at the other thing is to continually check in with your body. Check in for building tension. Relax your jaw. Drop your shoulders continue to take nice deep healthy breaths. That's gonna really really help <hes>. If you start to feel a little uncomfortable you can always use the common point at traffic lights in stops. There's so many things you can do to support yourself and and we invite you to listen to this episode again. If you're a new driver or if you're a driver who hasn't driven awhile needs to get back out there so much good information here. We're and we're with you. You can do this. You've got this. Thank you so much for listening in a naga. Thank you again for another episode sharing until we slay again uh <music> <music>.

shannon vander shan maryland facebook a. tampa zayed kent intel utah mary erin clarice tom grand rapids Huk roy son
Lauren Child

Monocle 24: Meet the Writers

31:54 min | 5 months ago

Lauren Child

"This Reuters I'm Georgina Godwin my guest today is a renowned children's author and illustrator best known for creating the Charlie and Lola books which have gone on to become a BBC animated series. A previous children's laureate. She was UNESCO's artists for peace in two thousand eight and was a wooden Mbe for services to literature in Twenty ten, her latest book the goody explores the importance of kindness and freedom. Lauren we're here in your be useful studio in Primrose held just describe to me a little bit where we where we're sitting. Well it's it's a room which is sort of lined with shelves of all different shapes and sizes. I guess because I, like I like to look at things while I'm working and so some some of the shelves are got books on but some of them have got objects. So always like to break up, I, just didn't want to have lots of bookshelves and wanted to have all kinds of things I collect. and. I everything is sort of here for a reason because. Find all the things. Feed into my work in some way or another, and it's not always obvious why it's a very eclectic collection a little like your your professional life. I mean right at the beginning it seemed that you had no idea what you really want to do. There were so many things you could do. You didn't in fact even what you were called. Well I? Yeah. It's I. Really didn't know I wanted to do and so though from being a very small child I I always loved to draw and make things To when I got to the age of eighteen I, I knew. That whatever job I did. Needed to involve jawing in making and. Painting. But I didn't make it really obvious. What I should study and. I sort of chose illustration. As it default in because it seemed. That it had a direction to it and. Bit. Worried about doing. Fine aunt which my father was very keen to do because. I felt you have to have an awful lot of. Self confidence and drive. It to get up in the morning and. Without a commission. Keep yourself motivated and I didn't think I'd I had that in me? So illustrations seem GEICO's park commercial it's quite collaborative in a way. So that seemed like the thing I should do and then I, I went off to study illustration and I really hated it and I said then I then I applied for everything fine not textiles. Architecture. And the only costing get into the `lustration concern. It was really funny. So I I ended up studying. Is something decorative balls, which is sort of making in quite practical course. Artistic. But it's it's learning practical skills. But even that. But by the time I came out of college, I had no idea what I wanted to do. During this time was that when you wrote kerosene, it was off to that I'd had of funny early experience with the. Trying to write a book with a friend when I think we were eighteen and so I stayed on for an extra term at school studying art and. And so I took the rest of the year. With my friend and we we wrote a book an illustrated book. And we actually did. Send it off to publisher. Remarkably was really interested and. We had this lunch with her in London with. Oriented. And he's like, you know we just couldn't believe I were being taken out for a business lunch. And we adjust these teenagers and. And she said to us. Oh. Yes. If you if you would make these changes, then we will publish and we never did because all we wanted with. The lunch. Really. Who's that really is the sort of youthful excitement about someone taking you seriously someone being interested until he's all Mrs. If so oh, well, that's good. Someone is interesting what we're doing. And of shoving it saving it for later. Maybe you know maybe we'll come back to it. Then, of course. A few years later I thought well, I really would like to. Have a go at writing something, and then nobody was interested in I. was in the days you could go. And Make Appointments Cold Call and I did I went to New York and I called called Publishers and. So them but nobody was interested. And meanwhile is doing things as well but it was just it was just a very funny time and then finally I think I'm were clarice being something like. Ninety four, ninety, five. And again, I went to New York with it. And try to sell it to I think Viking books. And they said, no, it's to English and then night. Came back to England and showed it to puffins and they said, no, it's too American and. Then it was season canal at. Kingfisher books. Who is really interested and she was She was really important at that time because she really. She could see something in it she. Liked and she encouraged me to sort of make a few changes to it, which is really really valuable but then she couldn't publish it until they got a coalition in the states no one. Wanted it. So it just was dormant. For For Five Years Really, and that's when I started doing. My. Lamp Shade Business With this friend of mine. Well. Let's talk about that because we're sitting here and there's a lovely little lamp shade here and you made it yourself well. Yes we design them Mola south. So we we. We can make. We did this little boy sculptures shapes that we liked I think we had about five different shapes. If lampshades that we thought, we'd be nice because we didn't want to do just the the ones which are. which which I don't know why because it would have been so much easier to do that. But we decided we wanted to do their ones that were those kind of fluted shapes and interesting shapes, and then they're also known all the things we found a we little prototypes in we found a factory that made them in. Suffolk handmade by this really nice woman. It will remember very very well, and so she handmade them all and we would buy fabrics in. In Wembley in and South Full A, we use lots of sorry fabrics and things. And it was it was a really really interesting thing to do but impossible to turn a profit, we just couldn't couldn't do it. Meanwhile, clarice bean is still out there. You're hoping to sell it and just back to that character and you characters in generally I know that a lot of them are often they're seven years old they're little girls quite often blonde and I wonder how much of that has to do with your own childhood? What was your childhood like were there at their elements in clarice bean in the first pitch book this? There are things that are autobiographical. the the the feeling of this sort of chaos in house. It's not that I had I only had T- siblings and. She has three and she has a grandfather living with. The probably the having the grandfather there it. I suppose represents. Something from my sheltered in that we we were very close with our. With our older relatives, I always liked them particularly the great aunts and uncles in the. Grandparent's they were very interesting and. I liked that sort of family holiday. Chaos when you a with Your cousins and people I really liked that. And and then my parents were very sociable to the always people you come downstairs and they're always be people you didn't recognize in the kitchen. So there's a bit of that in the book that you see. But I think she. I always say about clarice bean she sort of. paps she thinks the same way as me but I'm not as brave is her I always felt like she she would always say. What she thinks and I'm probably thinking it not saying it. And so I think I'm just writing a new clarice bean at the moment I'm in for a long time. and. There's something really. Cathartic about writing tariffs because I can say we'll things I won't say. But it's through. Through her when I've gone back to her being younger, she got to about eleven and now she's gone back down to being by eight. But? Yes. There is there is that Charlie lowering not there they're about an idealize in a way seventeen jolted when there were those. Aspects of what you remember as being the good things. But it's very I always think about the. The Right fifteen minutes of your day. It's the good bit. where? Children. Talk together and play together without. Any sort of. Adult interference and I think that's quite magical. Let time that children. Spend together and it's a World Yukon step into. Once you once you out of sheltered, you will never go back to the something slightly mournful it to. Your most recent book is called the goody and it's wonderful I'm tempted to call it a morality tale and I wonder if you are. If you feel the need in all of your books to put some kind of lesson in and to to try and. Tell children to be good. Ought to be themselves at any rate, which is what this is about it. Exactly. The opposite I I don't. Like Morality Tales and I don't believe in telling else what they should think. And so I suppose. I feel it's about putting down. something. For you that means something for you. So whatever run writing I, feel I'm writing it for myself first? And then if I'm very lucky, it will connect to other people. And it will mean something to them. But what it means to them is sort of none of my business it's it's up to them to take what they need to take from it. And I suppose it's the thing I love about story generally whether it's film. Television theatre. Book. Or even music is that people. They take what they want to take from it and they see it in the way that they. Either they need to see see it or perhaps it's just. At that from at that point in your life, you see it that way and you can return to something twenty years later and you see something completely different and I think with this book. I wanted to write something about the way that we will insist on labelling each other. And we do it very particularly to children but I think we carry on doing that. Few life and we do it to ourselves as well and I hear myself to describing myself people and saying I'm not very good at that or I'm this kind of person. I think House has strange that we do that. and. How? Life limiting compared and not like shortening, but it can it can. It can be very constricting. and. I worry about it particularly. So now, because of social media, I, think we do it to each other much more. We're much more likely to jump in on people. They say some and make a decision about what they said. Or what they look like. A piece of what they've done anything and. I. Think that's to be regretted because we don't have the same conversations with each other. Perhaps, we don't allow people to sort of. Evolve Volvo change or make mistakes and grow. And And see a different point of view. So I, suppose with this story, I was really looking at the way that. A child in this case, he's called the cody because he seems to be doing constantly the right thing. But is that goodness you know you're you're. Great your you. There were things. Certain things you need to do sometimes when you're asked to do them whether or not or childen? Yes. But that's about doing the right thing at the right time. Is it about goodness I? Don't think so. And so I really think that there's a page in this way you see him. Comforting his rabbit in a rainstorm. Because he? He knows somewhere inside him that that needs to be. Done because the the animals distressed. And and I think that's really. What real good. Mrs Is about noticing it's about feeling something for somebody else. And doing something the perhaps doesn't make you necessarily that comfortable at the time, but you will do it for them. And I wanted to to do that in a really tongue in cheek ways not meant to be morality tale. So he's very sort of. Confined by the label that he's been given by his parents is the goody and they expect him to be good. And so there's no reward in anything for him. Either 'cause he's no longer seen. He's just this. This is your world you are good, but it's also. Not. So great for his sister who's always known as the naughty, and so she loses out many things. So what she gains for not having to eat Broccoli things she doesn't want to eat. She loses in terms of you know how people then see us she's not allowed to go to any children's parties. They they know that she's GonNa behave badly but she behaves badly because everyone expects her to bay badly. And so. It is meant to be funny. It's not meant to be preachy, but it was really me of just looking at what what you win and lose through these labels are naturally can't we be more than these things and so even when people asked me to describe what do you do? Well. One of the things I do illustrate in one is right but there are plenty of other things that I do want to be. And it I don't want to be. Sort of told this is who you're I wonder though about the sense of responsibility because of course, you are obsolete worshipped by a lot of children and your children's laureate, and with that I suppose come some sort of. Some sort of job to guide children. I supposed I think when I was doing the laureate thing because that's a specific role and is a job. Very. Much feel as a job. Then, there is there there is a responsibility you're taking on something you're to do certain things and and you to think about certain things and I found that very interesting. But I think when I'm making. I. Work. I don't. Feel. That responsibility in the same way because it's different, it's it's I'm really. Talking to my radio adult or child. Has Me Mrs this is what I'm thinking about right now this is these are my thoughts. What do you think about it and I think it's for them to take that I certainly think. For me personally one of things I always want. To give a reader is a certain amount of hope. That I don't you know it can be funny just. It doesn't have to. Everything ends well have written stories where things. Some gets eaten at the end relied quite like that known children of always really enjoyed that we all enjoy reading. You know have enjoyed reading fairy tales or thrillers or whatever, and I've written my own thriller series and I I think. That can also be very nourishing but ideally. I don't know I suppose it doesn't have to be everybody feels like this. But I suppose I quite like that idea that there is it's always hopeful something in it for. The books are very film make almost like they are written as a story board. Did you have that mind because of course you've gone onto have fantastic television success with them with clarice bean, which is the very first book. So that's the one I wrote into ninety, four, ninety five. And came out in one thousand nine that really did start as a film. I'd always been passionate about cinema. And it was at the time of. Writing that book that I was thinking of. Perhaps applying to film school and. Studying Prop making all animation or something is really thinking about it. But I I like such a late. Start. Compared to everybody else. So I'd already chopped and changed once and. I just saw I've got to get on with something. So I decided to write my own fell. And then as always writing I wasn't sure if it might be I, don't novel and so if you eat some versions, they read very differently so much grittier. And then always doing the pictures and. Words together we know he's thinking but as a as a film. And then I showed it to somebody it was A. It was somebody I didn't know who is very grown up in had companies. With I didn't know her tool it's. I sent my portfolio to her. Because someone had said. Send it to her because she gives you some good advice and I was just stop for anybody. told me anything I. DON'T mind. And I think maybe because she was a complete stranger. And had done been very successful in her life. I listened to and she said, I'm. I just think you could do this as a you know a pitch book. I think it would work and she put me in touch with Helen Nichols who? You know. Megan Morgan always. Amazing things and. And she's incredibly kind to me and. Put me in touch people I. Mean it was still ton down but I think it was. That's why went that way? I think always very keen to go make it film, which is why there's so many characters and so many scenes because I kept drawing things and then when I wrote my mic crime series for teenagers I. That is all to written like a film because I love film and I loved Hitchcock, I was thinking about. Why his homes? Worked so well and I think it's because he understands. That need for pacing, which I think sometimes we forget. we've become very old people can't focus unnecess- lots and lots of action, and that's what they want. They want the thrills and natural, but you don't feel thrills if there isn't. Any quiet moments for there isn't the humor in their. Domestic comedy in there or the older. You've got to feel what? The. Protagonist is going to lose and when I watch a film like north by northwest I'm I'm always thinking but you going you're going to be going out for dinner with your mother. You know half an hour ago and now look at you and and it makes me think about. Know what the characters going through and I read a lot of Elmore Leonard as well, and he's brilliant doing that now a certain. Crimefighters who I just think they really understand that that need to get to know your your character. So I think for me. I. Think when I was a child is to love James Now. I, just find it very boring his I. Don't know anything about him and when I watch. Tarantino film certainly when the early ones I I get to know characters. So you see who they all are and how they were going to. Relate to each other and then it becomes interesting. What about when your illustrating for characters that you don't know that you haven't created yourself. So for instance, you illustrated longstocking. That was one of the first jobs actually when I when I really got going I, think it's I, think it probably is almost the first job that I did for somebody else I had I did do a couple. Earlier than that. But it was really before I I started doing my own thing. So. PIPPI. I'd always said no to illustrating other people's work and not because. I didn't want to I felt I couldn't because I need to spend so much time with the character and people don't give you that time they. So to say, we've got a book from say, would you like to illustrate it has to be done by September We will. It will apart from their work I already have lined up. It will also take me a year to think about the book and the character I won't spend a lot of time. In that world. So I understand it and then I know what I'm GonNa do. With PIPPI. Wasn't a problem because I knew her since always aid. and. So. It felt almost like my book because that's what happens when you're a child, it becomes yours like the secret garden was mine ready. So when they said, would you like to do that? Yes, I can do that. A Mary poppins to say. So it was easy. In terms of I know it. I now feel like, yes, I would like to illustrate front people particularly because. My daughter still quite young and. Illustrating a lot. More friendly than writing 'cause you can be present someone I find. I. Can be present for her while I'm drawing. It uses a different part of my brain Wyndham writing I just can't hear anything don't want anyone interrupting me I can't read anything because it it contaminates Whereas I'm. Drawing I, can. I can talk to people that I can I I just find it friendlier. So I I'd love to do more is rating. Just, looking around this really beautiful room. I see that there is some sketches that are the beginnings of Your Line Liberty. Took tell us a little bit about that. So working with liberty that was that we have very lovely because I'd always love their. Fabrics since childhood because my mother used to make our dresses. So I used to go the sometimes in you'd sit there looking fuel the patents and looking all the fabrics. And I use patent a lot in my work. So when they were doing a. They do these sort of. Themed collections nothing. There was one around storytelling so that they'd ask lots of different illustrators to create fabric, and so I've done done that night I loved I loved working with that and I did something with trees. And then I took part of their original. Patents. So I drew these trees and then I took little tiny elements from their archive. Incredible Archive. So you I think I took some. Some flowers and things from. Something that was one hundred years old and then you can sort of. A decorated the trees we've always patterns. And then they asked me again when they did there. There was none of us Serie for Alice in Wonderland and tonight created another thing with the meadows best the thing where. They soon, growing through the water meadows or something like that and so i. Created. Fabric. So beautiful. A The goody is all about Churton and it's just beautifully beautifully done. And just To read it aloud is such a pleasure I was I was reading it to myself earlier, and it's just this you want to put so much into it. And I can imagine as a parent reading to a child it must be tremendous, but it's also written in a way that that children obviously will be able to do for themselves. What's next? Oh. Well, next is. A clarice being. So it's going back I. Remember when I wrote the last one but probably ran two thousand four. I think. And so. So. Yes. Going backwards. And it's about Christmas. Because I suppose, it's all about family I started writing something. A few months ago and it was so dark and I was thinking no, this is no people right because of covid. Yeah. I think I, think it was I think it was combined with lots of things going on at the moment and I I spent quite lauded time. Only. Spent quite a bit of time talking to children when you when you do festivals or go to school visits in our member years ago, asking them what their biggest fear was because for me when I was growing up with nuclear war that was the big worry and I remember how it took over and and so we'll as years ago I wrote a book called. What Planet you from Clarice Bean because they said the environment and that's all that those years ago you know that's I. Saw Much. Twenty years ago they said that to me and and now you see what a big thing it is for them. And And I just think. I wanted to write. Something is still got hustle to contemplative Philisophical look at things, but I thought. Actually, this isn't a time to go dark. This is the time. To show something light in. Hopeful. So it's a lot about family and community and friends. And people. So it's a lot to that. To that if you own, it's going to be very very said it's a it's a sort of very, very illustrated notes. So it'll probably have a pitcher every page. So I don't know what kind of book as by wanted something that wasn't. Any kind of book of evidence before. More, immediately. Coming out, which is the second PIPPI longstocking which that's being. Really Nice for me to revisit her. As well, particularly now it's going to write about a child. I'm illustrate a book about child that it. Is Not. At all concerned. With. Other people's opinions of her. which is not say she doesn't care about. People. She just isn't altered by. The way people talk about her we'll see her and I i. think that's a very, very important thing for children to know and understand. because. It's hard to hold onto to hold onto yourself. And But I've always looked at that character in that way until. At, must be an amazing feeling. To know. Get. To. sidelined by of the people. What they want to tell you you are. So that that's that's the suit. That's the world of being living in. Just at the very last thing you are, as we've established adored by children all over the world does your daughter understand how fabulous you are. I think you'll very generous to say that. I I don't know. I i. Sit of I never. Really. See like that because I think is more. I feel very privileged when I get letters particularly letters sometimes you meet children and they you have these amazing conversations, but usually happens because they written to you. And I? have. Email. Things sent me I have letter. So I, always think. You really into a lot of effort to pick up your pen and paper find an address to send it to bullet to put things down on a piece of paper. coherently and with real feeling and it's incredibly moving. So I said voice. Think. What they give back is extraordinary and sometimes, I do write to them and say you have no idea what that means to me. To get your take on something that I've done and it takes me somewhere new. So I I feel too. Highly creative thing when you get these communications between. Someone who's made something, and then someone's reaction to it and what they're telling you about themselves and I will take that and that becomes something else and on and on it goes. Learn tiled many many thanks. The goody by Lauren Child is published by Hachette and is available. Now you've been listening to meet the writers. Thanks to the production team of nor hall and Charlie Film a court. You can download this show and previous episodes from our website or APP from soundcloud mixed cloud or chains. Georgina. Godwin thank you for listening.

clarice bean Charlie Film Georgina Godwin UNESCO GEICO New York Reuters Lauren publisher Primrose Volvo England BBC Helen Nichols Elmore Leonard London Mrs cody
Connected 255: Addicted to the Thrill of Cyber Crime

Connected

1:18:55 hr | 1 year ago

Connected 255: Addicted to the Thrill of Cyber Crime

"Hello and welcome to connected episode two hundred and fifty five. It's made possible this week. Our sponsors squarespace care of my name is stephen hackett and i am joined. Take my curly. Hello everybody hello. I don't have anyone else introduce. No it's just us better because taken can his annual vacation now i think he actually it's not like a vacation vacation because i think he mostly takes it so he can focus on the review. I think i think his body is on vacation but his brain is working yeah. I think that's probably what it is i have we don't hear from him very much over this period of time so like we can only we can <unk> only at this point assume the ferry vitucci is still on this. We can only assume i haven't heard from him in days. I think at this point. He sent us a picture of jewelry e._s. today but that was it. Which isn't that unusual really no. I mean that could have been anyone that could have been someone pretended to be him. I'm gonna check. His tweets is even tweeden. Let me see no not really. I mean he's been really in some stuff but that could be honestly that could be an automation run amok. That's probably it so. I wonder how long he could be gone for and we not realize it because shortcut. You're still run and we wouldn't know yeah like things. Just keep happening and it's like. We just like all right now well. We haven't heard from him but he is doing this or he is doing that so he must still be alive. He just doesn't text very much because when during this time of year ear especially i feel like we don't hear from him because like you know he just gets really. I understand that we just gets really like <hes> focused right on on on getting getting the work done so that's kind of all these doing twenty four seven when he's awake so it's not like completely twenty four seven but you know what i mean so yeah i guess the automations could just keep running and nobody but he would have no. I know chilling fills we do. We just write an episode of blind her. Maybe i think that's what that shows about. I don't watch too but i think that shows about so. Let's talk about art. We spoke last time about you should be playing some classical music right now underneath underneath while we talk about this. That's the show interro grow. You can't go back to that well to a different piece of music. That's a lot of work that out that would take literally weeks to play to play phase of classical music on beneath the data sure people don't know how those types of shows get put together. It takes weeks weeks and six people and four juice. I'm gonna need an editor and assistant editor and assistant to the editor and an office in brooklyn. Brooklyn has the right audio environment for shows house of music on the nathan so we spoke about dr drinks photo of me putting ram in rose orchards mac mini and and someone on the show maybe federico maybe you someone <hes> said it looks like some sort of renaissance painting and doctoring a link to it and said yes i took because it reminded me of the last supper people watching steven or like the apostles is an incredible. I would like to ask you a question and i don't mean any disrespect but as a religious man that's a little weird. You feel okay cool. Just check it just like i mean i wouldn't bother me personally but like i just wonder how you like being called the jesus you myself as the messiah of the max but you know maxine how that's gonna go venture that domain however during disagreed with federico's comment or maybe mike comment it's unknown but it was definitely mike about the the golden spiral all so anyways sorry dr dre says. What did he say that he was going for a davinci like triangular construction. Yeah i really enjoy the fact that that drank thought of this whilst before taking the photo is a glimpse into how his mind works yeah <hes> everything is just shapes and lines in his brain and and i guess a possible failure points okay mike. We have some really long term follow up. You texted me earlier today. We're talking about the show and he said hey. I want to update people on my usage of r._s._s. We spoke about this. I don't know months ago how you were going to well. Resurrect are assessed. That's what our stands for. Resurrected simple syndication resurrected resurrected sometimes stupidly and you've are using this over twitter for news or you're going to try and do it soon. How's it going well. I guess the follow up goes back. Maybe a a little bit further than that in the sense of me moving from tweet button to the twitter oh yeah and like brag because the and i said this at the time like i wanted to try hi it and then i realized that side effect of using the twitter app is that you find yourself using with at different way because the twitter app is kind of focused on that right like it is focused on providing fighting a different experience is focused on providing the experience that it wants to provide not necessarily the one that you want right like in that's just that's the prerogative of twitter what to do but i will say that if you want to spend less time on twitter which i did for various reasons which i think could different to the typical reasons thousands typically people say like i don't want to be on twitter because twitter is a place of not season and i'm not denying all of that but like that wasn't where where is coming from. It's just like i spend too much time using this service like it was just a pure like myself control problem over a services bad problem. You know what i mean like. I'm not saying that that's not the case and i understand what is the case of many people but i feel like this point. I've done a pretty good job of getting my follow list and who i follow him. What i'm seeing tweet was the i don't get of what i don't wanna see in my time line like i feel like i've done pretty good at that over time but really it was just like i just wanted to reduce the amount of time that i was spending onto it reducing my reliance on as a new source because i would get the news that i wanted but it's also into mixed of a bunch of stuff that i don't necessarily want which could be like what is the drummer of the day that maybe i don't care about or maybe it is about thirty to fifty hogs coming to hurt my children eat did you did you see yesterday. It was very funny my time reading in this name. It was very good. It's like one of those means that just had a twenty four hour window mrs. I was completely gone. Yeah you missed it. It was one of those things ever almost tweeting about it made no sense when you found out what it meant it still made no sense but by that point it was funny so you know that kind of stuff is like it's funny and i want to be involved in it when i want it but i don't want to have to see all of that stuff all the time. Basically i wanted to ton twitter to into recreation right as opposed to become a being like this pivotal part of the way that i work and i've tried to use our assess a bunch in in the post but then the problem was i felt like oh i'm just seeing the same things in multiple places because i'm reading them and then go on twitter and read them because i was just doing my like what is it called when you completion est mindset of reading tweets tweet in reverse chronological order so one of the things that i noticed was as always always using them to interact more. I was using with less right now. Screen time is putting me at like between one to two hours less a week of of using twitter which is great when it was like before it wasn't like one hundred dollars. It was like five or six hours and now it's down by like an hour or two on a weekly basis. Which is i mean. That's what i wanted to see. I worked very hard if not set any limits it's just my usage patterns are changing and i am finding myself very frequently now now just thinking when was the last time i looked and it could be a full twenty four hours and this is just i am happy with this because this is more of how i want to use social media. I am using instagram a lot more. I like instagram way more. It just brings me joy in my life. I miss makes me happy happy. It doesn't mix up a bunch of stuff. I don't necessarily want to see which i feel like i get into it away more and so then what i thought to myself was right. If i'm using to lessen to tour it's my main source of information that i need to do my job. Then i need to have a reliable system of information and that's when are assessed came back into my life so i use service code. I know rita <hes>. I don't know exactly why i picked that one but i decided the loss time i tried to use our assess. Federico told me to do it and then i had like a yearlong subscription so i just chose that one again and using rita for all my devices. I'm just doing awesome why i on my iowa's devices and that is a very good looking application. Isn't it beautiful. It's very nice. It's got all the features that i would want <hes> and there's some stuff that i would wanna change but nothing so perfect that it calmed complained about and i think somebody said i think mullins came up with. He just wants to be remembered for one thing and so i've been enjoying this kind of the basically one of the things that i like about our assess when when thinking about it from a twitter mindset of if i don't check into our access it is not any harder for me to get the information. It just waits. <hes> i know that that is like mike of two thousand and four knew that but i feel like the lost ten years of doing things differently it kind of forgotten about that core difference <hes> r._s._s. the inflammation will just wait for me and tell them to check it so i'm very happy i i recommend. It's two people if they are feeling like maybe spending too much time on twitter i don't i don't necessarily recommend the complete cut out of your life approach because there is a reason when you're using it and a lot of it might be because you enjoy reading memes about thirty to fifty hogs right like that might just be a thing that you enjoy and if you get rid of that from your life you might be might be worse. I i don't know so i recommend using the official deter app and using their algorithm because it services things for me so i don't need to dig through everything because it is doing a okay enough job of showing me the stuff. That's popular unimportant so that's where i am right now. I'm feeling pretty good about it. I don't have anthony downsides so it's probably one. I'm going to stick with for the foreseeable future. Welcome back to assess. Some of us never left do you do you constantly like you still have always every single day our assess hold every day. I've never stopped. I moved from google reader into something for a while. Then i settled on feed been and i a us reader on the mac and i've had an unread on the iphone and it's been that way forever how many feeds subscribe to ooh that's a good question. Let let me see if i can easily ascertain that number. I have sixteen. It's definitely more than that and a bunch of them like the personal blogs of friends so they very very infrequently i i have like ten feeds that update every day and the rest of them alike every once in a long i mean i don't know if i can find a number. Mine is probably fifty lisa too much so a lot of them actually going through here a lot of the dead. There's a long time <hes> several of them so i have a folder called geek news and that's like like verge and gadget and that one basically i look at like the top three or four and just ditch the rest. A lot of it was a thing for me. We know setting this up again. I decided to pick one website in every category because they all report on the same news because like if the verge has a big exclusive about the the samsung galaxy note ten and gadgets gonna post about it right so like i have like nine to five mac because they are like i've found them to table post every piece of apple news and like so that's the place that i want is a not a criticism that is exactly what i was looking for right so they're kind of like all apple news them. If i want all technologies of <hes> j- old gaming polygon and then i have variety varieties tech section listen to pick up stuff for upstream in that's kind of like a hit and across categories then i pick up of a pot of like i want interesting information right so i'll have like mac stories in you and jason and it's not just because you guys are my friends like i've read all of these people including you way before we were friends and and and then i'll have like i have tech crunch in that and most of the time i never like just completely archive it but sometimes i'll pick something out there. That's kind of the way that i've been susana and unethical bunch of like personal blogs or individuals who have websites to enjoy so and but like i go for for like a few firehoses but not like all of dumb luck. I used to write like in previous days. I would be like all right. I'm going to go oh for the verge and in gadget and gizmodo and all of those and we're gonna go for nine to five mac macrumors and i would just get all of them you you just seeing the same headline over and over and over again not a criticism of any of these websites. That is the industry like this. Just how is but i think as a rita you just pick the one but the voices that you liked the most and go with that you have <hes> year make mclean this out because a lot of overlap gonna clean out man. If you look at it right now cornyn logically basically how many headlines do the same just different place. I mean yeah. There's a lot of overlap so that folder in particular is really bad about that so that one. I just sort of scam. You know what it might be. Actually you just see to get an idea. Don't do it yet went into tomorrow because samsung galaxy event tonight. Yeah just see what that looks like like all of this website. It's just posting all of the news about the same thing so <hes> so that's where i am still here. The the irony is of course is that we you you and i own a company that is built on top of ours s but but no one thinks of it that way. I think about that way in this sense. We don't use r._s._s. rita's. I do have the relay f._m. Master feed in feed been. I have a podcast app where it's more useful so okay. Look if you look in your podcast player right now. This chapter is named shameless promotion. Yeah it's august. We do lost the stuff. Yoga yeah just going to have to live event. There's a lot of you along along this year. So let's start a big huge here. Five years we are going to kindergarten as a podcast network congratulations. I didn't number one fine. We are having our live event and just a couple of weeks in san francisco. There are a few tickets left a good ticket but we need your help so we are going to be playing really f._m. Family feud someone on twitter said that we really miss an opportunity to smash f._m. And family together so relay room feud but i don't know how to say it so oh really f- family feud but it doesn't work. Ella sounds like you're saying something naughty that so this lincoln the show uh-huh if you are a listener you should click on it and fill it out because the way family feud works that host people in the show in our case like fifteen under seventeen however many really hosts are going to be there. They have to guess the answers of the survey that only works if we have answers to the survey so we're seeing this out to all of our listeners is gonna take you like thirty thirty seconds to fill out. It's it's. I don't actually well. I know it's an exempt actually playing family feud but i don't wanna say what's in it. 'cause host listening very simple tech things. It'll take you know time awed. Knock it out and there's no right or wrong answer. What answer comes to your mind. That's the way the survey works. It's like a fancy word association yeah. That's good look at you. I've already explained planned it. Three times. Today on different shows getting good of explaining what the family feuds so so. There's that <hes> we would love if you fill that out the more answers the you better secondly. We have our anniversary merchandise up the t shirt. If you're listening to this day it comes out. August seventh is only available another eight days days so by the time the next connected comes out time will basically be over <hes> just about so. I go check this out at cotton bureau. We have shirt a lotta. People have asked us about the art and <hes> so. I wanna say two things about it one. I love it very much. We went to our designer and said we want something to celebrate celebrate. The feels like relay but doesn't necessarily look like a podcast who wanted nice design that could be anything and you could see this christmas ornament. Maybe we'll do christmas ornaments or <hes>. You know neck tattoo or something don't i'm. I'm probably gonna put it on my buddy at some point. It's really good so it's a star with like the a little half circles around it so it's kind of five points star odds. All kind of conceptual conception of art is high concept onset. Can you tell us two years art school. It's really paying off as a scribe this yeah it was really good i can i can feel the education rolling out of me <hes> so go check this out. There's a t shirt. There's also a enamel pin with the same artwork. My pins are out for delivery in a couple of days. This shorts will this question as well. The shirts will not beat you in time for the live show <hes> we wanted everything up in august and that we sacrificed to having the shirts done by the live show depends depends though if you buy pins on their own not pins of a shot you will get the before live show for shipping out right. They shipping out now so go coach all this out. We'd love to see these shirts pins out in the world number three next week on connected. Mike and i will be hosting being our annual relay q._a. So every we're doing this every year where people can ask questions about podcasting about the company about tech love child rearing sus questions on twitter. You just use the hashtag relay q._a. And i have a little automation going around and putting all those in a spreadsheet for us the more questions questions the better we go through them a few days in advance and sort of into categories so if you have any questions at all about <hes> relay or podcasting me this stuff. We'd love to answer them. A next week's connected <hes> and finally august is really f._m. Membership month we do this again to celebrate the birthday of the network. You can go join it relay dot com flash membership <hes> for all the members out there listening. Thank you so much for your support. Over the years like previous years we will be publishing members only bonus episodes of our shows <hes> that starts in just a couple of days and there is some amazing stuff coming <hes> coming this month and and into early september the stuff that i've gone to listen to already is just fantastic so <hes> and if you if you joined joint to sponsor or to back cernan show you get access to all the bonus stuff so if you already are member of say <hes> analog log and you want to listen to the <hes> the rocket membership show you'll be able to do that. Everything goes to everybody <hes> and if you're not a member we'd love you to check it out. Relay dot com slash membership up or you can just click the link in the show notes and you can support this show so yes this very you can any show but if you want to support this show you can <hes> i would we will welcome you'll support and you will get very wonderful bonuses for it does a monthly newsletter. There is a monthly relay f._m. Host i crossover show wallpapers discount this discount on previously mentioned merchandise so if you wanna get a lot of if much like if you'll look into by a lot of much for some reason you should sign up and get the discount yeah. If you want to have a family reunion again in october and everybody just everyone and you want to order three hundred fifty. I don't know how big family are. Let's say three hundred fifty people the big big big family big family <hes> maybe a high school class reunion. Let's go with that. You have in your high school class reunion and you need three hundred fifty five five star relay shirts. You know maybe become a member and that discount would pay off. I'm going to say also please send us a photo of your class reunion in in matching relay shirts all right mike. We have a bunch of topics talk about <hes>. I don't know if you've heard of this company apple. They've done some stuff. We're going to go out file maker. They're just in the news which is not something. I expected to happen this week but here we are up but first. Let me tell you about effort sponsor. This episode is brought to you by squarespace. Make your next move with squarespace. It's the system that allows you to easily create a website for your next idea with a unique domain name award winning templates and more. Maybe you wanna create an online store or maybe you want to have a portfolio to show off your work or maybe you want to start a blogger podcast squarespace the all in one platform that you do all of that stuff and you don't have to become some sort of web admin. You don't have to learn the dark art of p._h._p. Because there's nothing to install the new patches worry about no of grades or needed squarespace simply. Has it covered. They have award winning twenty four seven customer support. If you do need any help they allow you to quickly and easily grab you d unique domain name and all of those award-winning templates are beautifully. We designed for you to show off your great ideas at relay we use squarespace to power our blog so anytime we have anything we want to share with people we put it there so recently recently did a blog post about the merchandise i could drag the pictures in i can lay them out the way i wanted to and the best part is i knew that it was going to look good on desktop and mobile because those themes are responsive and do what they're supposed to do. No matter how wide the window so it's not going one layout for desktop and other for ipad squarespace theme which looks great. It just took care of it for me. Squarespace plan started his twelve dollars a month but you can start a trial with no credit card required by going to squarespace dot com slash connected elected when you decide to sign up the offer code connected to get ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain name and to show your support for this show once again. That's squarespace dot com slash connected and the code connected to get ten percent off your first purchase. We thank squarespace for their support of this show and all of relax them <hes> squarespace. Make your next move. Make your next website all right apple card talking about this for a minute yeah. This is apple's fancy virtual but also titanium detained him credit card. They are rolling out or they did roll out some invites earlier this week among clear if that's ongoing or there was like a batch of basically press people and it's coming out later two more people but know that doing over this month. It's like people that signed up to learn more. They're going to be kind of bring the men and ways and the but by the end of the month it will be open to anybody a couple of details as that came out in the early reporting that i wanted to mention here <hes> <hes> we've also seen the artwork of the colors on the card and how they're sort of botches of color that sorta gradient together <hes> it turns out those come from the categories gorey's do you spend money within and so there were a couple of tweets of like oh it's all yellow because i just used at one place for food and then i went to the hardware store or an agreement one showed up and now they're slowly emerging and changing over time which i think is kind of fun. That's a nice detail that obviously physical cards can't do and i don't know if there's a little touch that i really really appreciate for some reason you can order visible physical card. Oh we mailed to you and <hes> for those out there who have had this experience with a debit or credit card. Usually it comes with a sticker and a phone number and you have to call the phone number and type in the card number and apple just putting an n._f._c. sticker in the envelopes tap your phone to it right which is <hes> brilliant super great and i think the integration within the wallet applic- surely good they showed this before but a transaction list with information mason about vendors balanced details. You can see where where your money is going. <hes> and probably shouldn't have been a surprise but sort of made the rounds as well that apple cart data cannot be shared with other money management apps if you something mitt is very popular here in the u._s. Where you add your debit cards and your bank accounts and stuff and you can't get a who listrik picture of your finances because most people you right. You have a credit card or two. You've got your bank account. You got your mortgage. Maybe you got a car loan or student. Loans and it's it's hard to see the big picture and so mitt is one of several solutions that sort of aggregates all this into one place and the apple cart is going to be <hes> separate from that and i would not hold your breath about that changing because apple as really preaching. It's privacy story here this. This would be a problem with them if they come to europe especially the u._k. Because legally you have to make this information available. Oh so people consumers can choose to take that data and put it with of a companies to allow for them to have better money management so i would be really keen to see what apple is going to do about that. It might be one of the reasons. We never got us like every bank. Here has to create a system like logan organ system so for example. If i had to banks i with one bank and use my online banking up to basically log in and have the other banks. Thanks bank accounts displayed in the bags app which is like it is the other side of data sharing where me as is the consumer gets to choose when my data goes and there's other things you can do for example like takeover your bank account data uploaded to a comparison website and find out where you can be saving money like stuff like like that right <hes> like oh. You're paying too much for this bill or that bill. If you switch that his company that company you could do it so it'd be interesting to see what they do that. I mean i didn't certainly don't know if this is ever going to be outside of the u._s. Right like apple pay cash. What was it called apple. What was the thing call will you can share someone to somebody because they've changed the names now. I think i'm going to send money to you think it's apple. I think it's apple pay cash okay well that never ever made its way outside of the u._s. And it might be the apple cart would do that right like they want if they want to push apricot outside which i think is more of a thing that they'd be willing mm to do then they would need apple pay cash as part of it right because it's where the rewards but i'm interested to see what if anything apple apple does to try and like make it self yep compliant with a lot of stuff that is required of these financial institutions get. I just sent john voorhees. A dollar is a <hes> apple. Pay cash was nice of you. That was nice of you. Send it back john but yes so i'm i i would very much. I'm very interested in this product like in you know and i i i use credit cards that have benefits to them right and i actually used a benefits and that and it's really great but those caused cost cost me money to to pay pay fees for them every year and stuff he'd have to do that with the apple cod but i think the i would be like super willing to to buy all of my apple products on this caught like that's what i would do of it because you get three percent cashback on is three percent on apple products by my app on my a phone on it and you will get cashback on subscriptions so if you pay for apple cade you get three percent back every month every time. It debits so stuff like that. It's like okay like i would probably wanna. Keep a balance on that cod and top it back up <hes> so it's like the big credit card round robin. Yes which i mean you spoke with this upgrade <music>. I'm kinda like jason rick. I don't really do much of that. We have a credit card that we use sometimes <hes> but not something that i think genuinely genuinely right like if you're the type of person does not want to have to go through the rigamarole of using and using the benefits before they expire and all that kind of stuff like this is the perfect kind of thing race just actual cash back not like cashback with check all at cashback every quarter you you have to mail something link. If you use this credit card you'll get money back and you don't have to do anything about it and then you can do whatever you want without money. Including paying off the balance of the credit card thought which is just like that's a great thing to be able to do. It's like i would if this was available here i would definitely i would definitely use it for my day to day. Purchases like without a doubt where i don't wanna put like a sandwich on my american express card seems like too much aggravating but i would do this and then i would may be moved from my purchases to something like this because it also has the cool like this is where you're spending your money type features which is which is really good to have and which which a lot of like traditional companies don't provide these new ebanks too yeah. I think apple could go further with that. I mean they're cashback stuff. There are our options that are better if you are certain type of shopper so i think one that people will compare this to is the amazon prime visa card which i believe is five percent back at amazon whole foods if you're that sort of shopper if those are very common on your statement. That could be a better deal than this but i think you're right. The apple one will win in terms of just hey you get cash on your apple cash card and you can spend that like akinyi debit card or use that for appaling send a dollar to somebody on a podcast so that is i think you're right that for people who don't want to like roll their sleeves up or who don't really really cleanly fit into some other card that is clearly better this. This is probably a good default. If you have an iphone that's of course the the other thing that you've got to have an iphone and that's going to mean. Most people can't access it but if you're in that that population seems like a reasonable option awesome. There's enough people enough people to make a nice user base out. One thing i'm really intrigued about is how they deal with bad debt because like let's imagine somebody like a six thousand dollar limit on their apple cod fill up and they can't pay for <hes>. I wonder how they're gonna deal with that like just from a how look from public like a p._r. Perspective right like will goldman sachs on behalf of apple. Send like collection agents to <hes> well. I think i don't know if it's actually on behalf of apple or not but that will be the perception right. This is a goldman tax credit card. That's what i mean right but like goldman sachs doing it for apple right and and apple of made goldman sachs changed so many do things about the way that they work including this like data sharing agreement where goldman sachs is not allowed to use any of the transaction data anything. They can't don't use it for marketing the consulate rather they've removed of the way that credit card companies actually make them money so like of course i understand the idea that like thank you enter into an agreement with a company and the agreement says you give us the by-pass back and if you don't pass back we're gonna money somehow right like i understand all of that but like i wonder what is actually going to look like and how soon do we start getting stories and stuff like that if all i'm just intrigued about from a p._r. Perspective debt is a strange thing for apple to be in the business of right make they are in the business of debt now and that is a that's interesting and i and i'm keen to see how it resolves. When i've always slow about apple's moving into banking this was not the product that i thought would see i. I thought that they would create something to replace the debit account. I <hes> or debit card. I not a credit card because you're in you're in the business of making people spend more than they have like. That's the business that they're in now like that's what people do credit cards. If there's anybody out the young listening to this show who's yet to have a credit card in life. Pay off your credit card every month like when you get to that point in your life like that was a mistake that i made and i spent many years. Get myself back out of that mistake. When i was like twenty three pay off your credit cuts would be my advice to you but like it is just like a thing where i'm intrigued. I'm just intrigued to see how all that stuff so shaken out because they are in a very very very different business of this <hes> strange <hes> let's talk about some apple security stuff okay so a couple of stories originally originally from forbes <hes> so the first one is that apple will be creating and somehow dispersing iphones with special firmer firmware and software and this will allow security researchers to get into parts of iowa. You normally can't get to without joe breaking and even go beyond including like pausing the c._p._u. To inspect its memory which is not something that i know how to do but clearly. I guess it's possible this. This is to <hes> with the goal of making i._o._s. And i've had more secure so it's <hes> this is for security researchers people who who are you know tr- known trusted individuals or organizations to apple it is kind of like a imprint apparently because of course these funds zones exist but i've never really thought about them. Internal use development iphones at apple that can do a user can basically anything on there won't be as open and as that but as a step in that direction again with the desire and apples part to be we're going to give these trusted people who are security researchers in the field who will have access to them poke around them and then if they find things they will disclose them to us and not posted about them on twitter and then we could fix these security issues so i think the reason this is a story that this didn't really exist. <hes> i saw one tweet. I can't find it now but someone saying that this. The program has existed before but this is sort of a a formalizing of it so i don't know if apple had like a a secret handshake with a couple of security researchers who had more access than others. This seems at the very least to be a more formal approach to this sort of security research. It seems to me that it fits really well with apple's privacy insecurity stance that they've really taken over the last couple of years and we've we've all said that if apple has a may win because it does everything is inevitable probably only when apple has a really big security or privacy breach it will be worse for them because of their posturing on the topic and they want to avoid that as long as possible well. Yes i mean i would agree that was like the whole thing is an example of that yeah oh definitely which we didn't that fell in between connected episodes but not good not good at all so this is in conjunction with some macos news <hes> that apple is announcing a mac o._s. bounty program so <hes> the way this works is if you find a security vulnerability in an apple product <hes> <hes> then i phone or an ipad running i._o._s. Or <hes> you know i guess an ipod touch out there too. If you've been ipod touch and you find a security issue with with it you can contact apple referring special you can contact apple through these approved channels and they will offer rewards is our bounties for that information the idea being that if you find a security vulnerability apple pay to get it off the market before it it becomes known and disclosed to people who could use it for ill so the one incentivize people who find these things to do the right thing in apple's is and dat previously this program was just limited to and this caused a big dust up several months ago <hes> that <hes> some stuff came out. Maybe even longer that now <hes> security issues came up with mac o._s. And then it sort of came to light in the public that there was not a mac o._s. Bounty program. I don't think apple did that. Purposely even like mac os and has been around a really long time and in two thousand and one bounty programs they were out there may b- but the world was different and now you can just write a blog post or write a tweet and all of a sudden every like foreign power and <unk> spy agency in the world knows about as day in your software abbas be in that situation so they brought them back into the bounty program which i think is is really good because a lot of us have a lot of self owner max and and a lot of like critical data on her max and with i cloud all this stuff is everywhere. We're anyways right so it's not i would expect you could do more damage to a mac than an iowa device anyway <hes> right like it's much more possible. Oh for a piece of software to dig itself in yeah absolutely 'cause i mean the mac is more open and even though kind leaner anyway anyway. Caroliina us have to work around all the click boxes but <hes> or if you're a hacker you just give up because it's so annoying right right and so the more open but it's hydro your i caught stuff so if someone has control of your mac they really have control of all of your data and that's bad clearly okay so it's good that the mac is brought into this and they're taking it seriously and <hes> i would love to know what those phones that entails how that how that works but the world would probably we never know. I'm really intrigued to know what precautions will they take on. Those iphones show up on ebay. I mean if they i would imagine this is basically just made up but the way i could see it. Working is that you are an employee at a security research for firm or <hes> you know like <hes> mcafee or those sort of companies not only is the company assigned the phone but i would imagine that apple would know who's phone that is right like who who is the primary owner of that special firmware phone and the obviously they can't stop that person listen from playing that phone on ebay but i guarantee you they would know what phone it is and i would imagine that there are some sort of check in process of that phone is not on some sort of internal network at these companies or plugged into a computer that somehow authenticates it every so often that it would lock and that you wouldn't be able to get into <hes> that's that's <hes> i would imagine that that functionality would be built in some way or another someone like you yes would make let's let's would let this really specific a somewhat who collects when i when i finished same what i'm gonna say you'll know what i mean. Someone like you would would want the hardware wherever wherever it was not someone who'd happen have a collection of apple hardware. Yes not me specifically government. Not me not me typically you come on would would buy one if it was on ebay well. Maybe like twenty years. I mean if anything's faintly things pop up anytime soon. They're not gonna be cheap. It's it's kind of the same thing in a way to like <hes> testing hardware like verification hardware sometimes mac show red logic boards and that's a test machine that you know development machine with an apple sometimes those things about public prototyping and that sort of thing take anything like that. I don't think i do you have any liquid. One offs <music> all prototype devices. I know i don't have interested in it. I am the the issue is if you want to prototype mac hardware. Even if it's thirty years old it is super expensive way out of my league in terms of collecting very serious very rich collectors right. Yes not not me see me. Yeah i mean one of these phones may come out but i would imagine apple would have a way to kill it so even if someone had the phone. The secret sauce won't get out because that defeats the entire purpose right right. Someone has access to all this. Oh ono. What have we done. Yeah yeah donny program so you're you're out there and you know if you're are finding a mac vulnerability. The bounty program does give me the mental image of like some sort of software developer or skirting researcher. Who's also kind of like indiana. Jones sounds so pirates whatever because indiana jones like wants to do the right thing right like this should be a museum even though he stole it from the tribe of people who've worshipped ah for centuries a kid a bad thing to do a good thing. It's kind of indiana jones deal kind of what these people are like right so you find an issue and you put on your cool hat and i guess you have bulworth and then you swing into the apple campus and say this belongs in a museum and you handle the bug the hand you a bag of gold and you go amongst your the way that is actually a pretty good way of describing it and they black hats will white hat so grey hats which is the one because another the conference is called black hat right but black cat is when when you do something bad right i think so isn't like white hat when your a heck of a good and black hat. You're a hack of evil. I found a and the greyhound somewhere in between on norton as norton antivirus on their block the open of the show and it's about this. I guess they would know yeah. I suppose pose thanks norton antivirus seventy the only time i've ever been on this website the norton antivirus website black hat hackers usually have extensive acknowledge about breaking into computer networks that primary motivation is usually for personal financial gain but they can also be involved in espionage protests up apps. The addicted timid addict just addicted to the thrill of cybercrime. I love that now. They're just addicted to the thrill of cybercrime no crime are you or someone you love addicted to the thrill of cybercrime a crime call us at norton. We're here to help with. Would you still purse i'm done why did akers choose to use their powers for good rather than evil. They are also known as ethical hackers <hes> and then get this mike as an life. There are gray areas that are neither black nor white grey hackers or a blend of both black hat and white had had activities way to the hackers are a blend of activities who wrote this so whatever you okay so gray how the hackers are the people that go in for bounty programs is what they're saying like. They'll look for vulnerability is yeah without the owner's permission on allege a number port them sometimes requesting fee need to fix the issue so they go okay so you can a gray hat conference them glad we cleared that up service. We provide bounty program. Get get paid to hack the mac all right. We're gonna talk about file maker so no one leave. We're gonna quick break talk about hover one of the shows longest. Just running sponsors have been with us a really long time since literally since the beginning since the beginning in the beginning since the dawn of time there was hover. We know you love wondering about tech and hover has a lot of great tech talk about. It's a big leap for a ton of people starting their own business because your business needs a domain may name and often these days your company name and donate domain name conversation or like the same conversation. It was with us on when we were trying to name. Our company never makes it that easy because they have over three hundred domain name extensions to choose from so no matter what you want to build. There's a domain name waiting for you. They've excellent let technical support to answer any questions. You may have and they're dedicated to getting you. Online not up selling you hover has free who is privacy so the bad guys. Don't get your information really clean you ex new i on their site. You're not tricked into anything. They're not any check boxes. You have to go unchecked. They respect your time on their site and they have monthly sales unpopular top level domains. It's really easy to see why hover is the popular choice for people starting businesses. I've had two main hover her forever. Even before the show before relay they've been my domain registrar of choice and so many times if i want to start a project project <hes> i kinda start if i don't have a name solidly in mind actually used their domain name finder to help me with that so like in in naming this very podcast network. This was an issue trying to find domain name. That was really short and we could use the dot f._m. Hover makes all that really easy. It doesn't make naming the company easier that can still be difficult difficult. It makes the rest of it easier. We know the people like intuitive user experiences and things just work straight out of the box. You will appreciate hover you is clean simple and easy to navigate sa- go buy your domain and start using it today. Go to hover dot com slash connected get ten percent discount on all new purchases regis's that's hovered dot com slash connected make a name for yourself with hover our thanks to hover for their support of this show and relax them episode owed eight was the first time that hover sponsored wow so the longtime ago longest run one of the first file maker maker all right here we go buy omega file maker federick is gonna really sadness that missing this hopefully will be active of course is owned by apple in one on all of and was for a long time the only wholly owned subsidiary but now i think a couple and this is one of them foul maker and beats to companies that really i think of jointly you know kind of the same thing. <hes> file maker beats very yeah so they're in the news this week because they were changing their name to clarice and you may think isn't that the name of the dog cal clarice. The company is with an eye clarice the dog house with the u. I can't pronounce those differently. Clarice and clarice like there's no difference difference to me. Anyways file maker is now known as clarice international. This name is historic mike and because no one can stop me. I'm going to tell you the history of clarice today excited great excited yes genius genius known would die in the story unlike like sean happens on the genius topics so we need to roll back the clock to nine hundred ninety six thousand nine hundred seven the max out for three years or so apple had this idea uh of hey <hes> we really went third parties like rush into the mac and build software for and that really didn't happen the first couple of years and apple sort of bet wrong on this so they started with mac pay imac right developed internally and they sort of let them languishing. They said oh well third party. Developers will come in and by the time they didn't apple's own software was getting pretty crafty and so- clarice was created needed to build software for the mac and it was gonna be sort of an independent company but sort of monitored by by apple and then john sculley ended up buying it all back and that's when it became this this wholly owned company <hes> by apple is early two years and nineteen ninety-one. They really made a name for themselves. Launching clarice works and this is a an early example of sort of an office office suite. There were others lotus was there <hes> and some others but clara's had clarice works had a word processor drawing program a painting program spreadsheet spreadsheet tools database programs presentation program and it kind of what we think of today right where you might have word excel and powerpoint or pages and keno numbers clarice works all that stuff together launched in nineteen ninety one like i said in very annapolis moved today it shipped for windows windows in nineteen ninety-three so you clarice works cross platform and share files back and forth etc which is wild thing about apple writing window software nineteen ninety-three or not apple but somebody complete control babble clarice works was spun back into apple in nineteen ninety seven in or so so the word processor all the stuff was rebranded updated as apple works which was eventually replaced by. I work. I as apple works in high school. I have a lot of work files footing around that. I converted to pages documents early on most of them. Are you know taxed and it was declared end of life in two thousand and seven which was way later than i thought it was killed and <hes> it's stuck on snow. Leopard won't run online or higher so <hes> rest in peace. He's apple works but clarice had a lot more than just the seven or eight programs these programs they they weren't as well integrated as something like i work or office are today you know office and i work basically make a spreadsheet and then have like a chart and then you drag that into a word document or a presentation like it updates and all that sort of cross compatibility platforms jeffrey usa today some of that was present and clarice works but obviously it was simpler i would they also owned a couple of other the products that were less impactful but i think are fun to talk about in hindsight the first one was claris homepage which was a what you see is what you get website creation tool that ran on the classic mac o._s. It never made it toco at ten but if you wanted to build a website and you didn't win h._t._m._l. Team l. or just right h._t._m._l. Claris home page was an early example of something you could do very early. <hes> dream weaver something but also an email program claris this emailer emailer emailer. That's a weird word say and day contact calendar tool named claris organizer. I'll give them this very consistent with their naming. Lists like apple. Watch apple t._v. Like if you want to build a website claris homepage if you need to organize some things claris organizer solid all it saw these were around in the mid to late nineties didn't come to o._s. Ten sorta died in the transition in nineteen ninety eight or so it shed all of its products except file maker and homepage it changed the company name to file maker which probably put the homepage people on watch and homepage was put out to pasture in two thousand and one africa doesn't want it basically just made file maker which if you're not familiar with it is a it's an application for creating and managing databases so you can have for instance we heard from some people who created invoicing systems and so you you can have a you know all the fields you would need to create an invoice and it spits a p._d._f. Out and then you can track it. You can really build almost anything you would need with in its <hes> within its sort of relational database programming. It's pretty easy to program. File maker is one of those things and i haven't used it in in a long long time but you can do a lot which is basic information but if you want to really get into it you can really go deep and really we customize things and you can load it up as a like. The file maker server becomes a web server and you can get it from other computers. You're not just like stuck to your only a computer. <hes> there is a <hes> afoul maker go app which was a parallel i._o._s. Mobile product and it just if you need to build something because no increase the tool you need foul makers like one of those things and a lot of people now just build a web app but foul maker has its roots in the eighties and nineties and a lot of people using file maker have used it for a really long time. We're going to talk about the company's desire to change that but this is kind of where they were in the two thousand two thousand seven. They introduced bento. Do you remember this. You were machias a a. I like every mike usable. Ben tone didn't know what to do yeah so it was a database application and it felt like an i work app roic it really just been part of i work and not file maker <hes> they got into hot water because version two was the same cost version one. They didn't do a great pricing and people are very upset had a couple of versions three or four versions and then sort of went away six years later in two thousand thirteen. I think because like you said no one really due to do with it and it was basically single user so bento was not a thing to build invoicing for your whole office. It was a if you want to build some database like do personal tracking of some sort and i guess there just wasn't a wide enough audience for that. I played within certainly didn't know what to do with it so that went away and there's no database software really at the i work level found makers appro app. There's no consumer sort of version of it on the mac from apple at least it's that brings us to today. They've been trucking along with file maker. They have some leadership changes and now they have a new product and they've really going on a limb and they've named clarice connect. This is what it does. I'm going to read this a tool for integrating various cloud services and automating workflows between them yeah. I've tried to tried to do some research on this right because that that is maddening. It's it's maddening. The way that that is written because it's like oh we doing nothing and everything basically that come the quiet of claris acquired a company called stamp lay <hes> which was about trying to help you as a new developer bring together a bunch of services to have a._p._i.'s in a way that you didn't have to do a ton of work with so if you wanted to have like payments file storage you could use the a._p._i.'s will these web services really easily integrate them into into your product. What it seems like clarice is doing is trying to find a way to take all of these cloud services and have them talk to your database and vice versa. It seems seems like from what they're describing. 'cause stamp play was was described as a so-so. They're trying to build like an iot or zappia like product for enterprise enterprise four file maker and i'm sure that clarice connect will become a central point for a lot of the clarisa looking to build because they there's a bunch of blog blog posts on the company blog. They've been they've been posting like wa for the last three days so excited i love them. The best and it seems like clarice is building blocked now like they are now. They have a new vision and the like ride. We're going to build a bunch of stuff. It seemed like they were kind of just chugging along for a while now this new c._e._o. Is called bunch of ideas and they're just going for it like they won't more uses. They wanna make more products like they're trying to become a cloud focused company which makes sense i mean if you think about about how filmmakers worked as you have a server in your office just serving it up to your employees like they probably have information and cloud services and you need to integrate with that to stay relevant and so it makes a bio mak- will die of us like because no one knew is going to use people are using things like air table or even like google sheets or again just building custom maps and there are things that only maker can do but there's also a ton of software as a service chris companies out there that can meet a lot of people's needs so this blog post by the way are impossible to read. It's all like business jargon and yeah yeah yeah. I read the blurb and i was like oh they're making happier and then i read his blog post and then when i woke up from blacking out i was. I had no idea what what's happening. It's pretty confusing. I only think i know what they're doing. They're looking to to remain relevant. They wanna triple their customer. Base currently defile maker the product the company currently serves more than a million end user and fifty thousand different companies. They say which is bigger than i thought it was. We heard from most of them. When you guys disc foul maker a couple of months ago i but i do look at that and i'm like yeah i'm sure but how many of these people using it because it's what the the company uses again. It's what the company used twenty years ago yes and now they can't get away from it right now. A lot of new people coming to foul. Mike really said but they want to change. That'd be now. Maybe now the end. Clair's connect will make it easier to integrate a cloud service to into your database so i wish them. I'm well because foul maker has it's a well known and beloved brand in the in the sort of mac world and it's it's also interesting company talk about because apple owns dumb and they've been so quiet for so long sort of quietly serving their customer base but they're looking to make some moves in this new c._o. Seems really exciting and i think we're going to hear more batum moving forward. I do really like the idea that like this. News breaks and tim cook's like wait what who's let them do this very good. Sorry this episode of content is also brought to you by care of with summer here you can make health and wellness a priority already care of makes it easy to upgrade your health. Routine is a subscription service that makes it easy to get vitamins protein powders and more personalized just for you and of course i delivered straight to your door care of can help figure out what you need with a fun online quiz that asks about your diet health goals and lifestyle choices it it takes five minutes and it'll work out exactly which you need it because they know you're busy care of will deliver your order right to your door in a personalized easy to remember daily packs. You know just getting a box of pills. Everything is neatly laid out so even if you're traveling you can take what you need with you and leave the rest at home. They now offer protein powders in individual packets for on the go <hes> on the go use and they're all personalized to your fitness goals and dietary preferences if you're vegan or vegetarian can totally totally cater to that which someone who has dietary restrictions. I really appreciate that. Quiz really is easy walked my way through it and simple. It was very clear what they were asking. You know. Sometimes you get into like these sorts of questions like oh. I don't know my goal is very very easy to use this and that there's individual packets and make everything really convenient for twenty five percent off your first care of order go to take care of dot com and enter the code connected that's take care of dot com and the promo code connected for twenty five percent off our thanks to care for their support of of this show and all of relax them so apple apparently shipton estimated this is estimated by one of the various analyst firms five point seven million watches while wide sharing this past quarter apple said they had a good quarter that was one of the things that they were talking about but apple of never never gave any details about apple watch. They give no details about sales units of anything now but they never have given so. We don't have a baseline. There's never been a baseline right to set it to uh-huh people can work it out using algorithms. I'm sure <hes> apparently this sounds than forty six percent market share. I'm interested. What mark is that like that and it's continued position is number. One smartwatch company says great right yeah good for apple watch rhonda rowland. What does the market share up wash amongst this podcast not very good. Is it thirty three percent or is it sixty six percent sent <hes>. I think it's closer to thirty three percent so <hes> maybe it's fully six percent forty six percent so what you are getting at is my use of the apple apple watch because you left it behind. The year ago over a year ago may last year was the last time i wore an apple watch with any seriousness so my i uses a little bit different than that. I do not wear daily anymore but i do put it on to work out so going to the gym going for bike ride going for a walk or a run pass that though i don't wear it day to day i don't wear it to work. Even travel stays at home this sort of happened gradually for me where i've always had other watches and i've always liked those other watches over time i realized that even then with tweaking the notifications basically turning almost all of them off. I still felt like the watch was too invasive into my life and i feel like i stand on one side of the debate. Most people have about the watch where most people look at the watch and say oh it's great i can glance at to my notifications and i can see if anything's important and i can ignore it or i can deal with it if i need to but they use it as a triage of sorts through notification thing. That's how used is to use your watch. A lot of people really like that about the apple watch but over time i grew to dislike it more and more where i felt like even with very pared-down notifications. I didn't want the world following me around on my wrist all the time that if i left my phone in the other room or went somewhere without it that was okay. You're the apple. Watch is interesting too because it is about as old as relay. It came out you know i think about the same time and i've had one for relays for several years 'cause in those first years. I really felt like i needed to be available lable as much as possible because we were growing company with infrastructure issues in the beginning and had to really make our website more bus austin oliver systems more robust and so i felt like i always needed to be around and is really has become more mature and is my sort of day to day has changed over the last a couple of years. I realized that that wasn't really true and that if i if someone really needed me my that honesty is my phone is with me almost all the time anyways but i felt like the watch more and more was a handcuffed to the internet not a way to just glance at the internet and then carry on and i don't know why i feel that that way. I'm not sure what that says about my usage of the watchers. Just how i feel so i'm not predicting down to anybody not projecting onto the rarin a no judgment zone own. We are in the no judgment song. Thank you so that's kind of how i felt about it and so as an experiment. I said you know i'm gonna go a week without wearing it. I'm gonna wear. I still weyrauch. Were watch every day. I like having the time data my rest. I still to this day. Sometimes if it's cloudy look at my watch wondering if it's going to rain this mechanical mechanical watch cannot tell me that so i do whether on my wrist but i said for a week i'm not going to wear it and i'm going to see if i feel like i'm missing out on things or if i feel like this thought i had i need a handcuff like is that actually true or not and it was great and one week became i'm two and two weeks became two months and i haven't worn watch consistently a good part of this year and i still wear for the exercise tracking. I like <music> apple health. I like the workout tracking. I'm not super interested in replacing the apple. Watch with something like a fitbit for those things that i liked the way the watch handles itself alf and exercise and most of the time to if i'm exercising if i'm at the gym or especially from my bike and someone to get in touch with me the watch is the way that happens so i like the connectivity while i'm working out so if my wife calls me and my phone is in the locker in the weight room or if i'm on my bike and and you know someone needs to get a hold of me again through my very narrow gate of notifications in my phone is not accessible i can at least you know see that oh one of my parents is calling me and my brother tex. Mike's texting me something. You know i can at least be available as actually like it in those situations so that's why i'm i'm keeping it. I have a series four. I'm not going to buy series five this fall but the i'm not having ejected from my life like like you have and some others have is still. Oh has a place just a very small and diminished role. I've gotta say like i the times that i do wear to the gym. Whatever it doesn't say on the whole day i get home. I shower it. He goes back into the drawer or on the charge or whatever the case may be and that's kind of where i am with a to the point where i don't really know. It's coming in the new version of watching as yes. I haven't paid that close attention to it and i just feel like a lot of people. It adds a lot to their lives. I'm for whatever reason i don't feel that way way about it and <hes> so i am joined the club of mike when it comes to the apple watch the club of monaco covered covet marco hashtag marco is right yeah i followed marco and now you've followed along in my footsteps. What you said about like guiet doesn't work for you is is pretty much the same for me you know like i just figure that. My phone is around. Whenever i want to be contacted an an and if it's not there i probably don't want to be and the watch never really allowed me to be away from that. I was very set on the fact that i figured had i needed notifications for everything always and then stopped wearing the watch and realized i don't i don't wanna either. It was just the thing that i didn't know would happen to me. <hes> uh-huh to a stop wearing it and i knew of a week that i didn't want to wear it anymore. Like it was very quick. Grows like oh not a one anymore. <hes> i have wilderness well don't if occasionally when my phone my phone buzzing lab when i need it and then when i don't want it goes away and yeah i could do not just the watch. What's the point right they for me. I genuinely feel like i only have two options. I ever wear the watch and have owner vacations. Go to the i ever wanna know about or or i don't wear it like did. There isn't an idea of like what am i just wear it and have a few things now because my phone can do that like cool right like for me. It just doesn't work out and then the other thing. I really like watches. I like the way they look. I liked it. I can choose you can also change the bands right like it's not like an apple. Watch only thing right like i like looking at pictures of watches. I like owning watches. I enjoy the i can put on completely different from day to day depending on what i'm wearing with an apple watch. You always kind of wear on an apple. Watch no matter what you do to it. They are very good looking king. They do not look as good as any watch. The eye on right like like real watches to me. My tastes look better than every oppa wash no matter on what the faces right 'cause they still little computers and that's just not for me now. That was why i bought. My first mechanical watch was because i didn't want to have have a apple-watching on in my wedding photos and i'm so happy i made that decision because i wouldn't have looked good. It wouldn't have looked good now because it would have been a series three and the series three looks like ugly refrigerator. A competitive series right like the series four is so much better looking like it is a beautiful beautiful watch for what it it is and what it is a computer still but in five years the series four will gold so in a time marches on you should <hes> you should say what what you're wearing in the moment because people will want to know what what you moved to today. I'm watching. I'm watching today and watching mike today. I'm wearing a watch by instrument in which is a company in the u._k. But also have a seiko that i really like and a calculator watch so i i found around a little bit for me. The requirement is the date like having the date and day if possible but definitely a date window and i kind of agree with you and none of my watches are expensive. Really i mean watches audio you can you can spend as much money as you have. I'm playing in the the very low end of things but now for now. I keep sending you wash which is that. I think that you'd be interested in. I think eventually got a bucket list right. Actually you got a least one. You've got a bucket list but you don't have to spend what's great about it you. You don't have to spend a lot of money to me. That looks really nice and there are so many options <hes> like my saco is black and orange with a chrome body and like i love black and orange i love orange and chrome black crow like or stainless steel but it was like the oh i love everything about how this looks and you can find that in the watch world and even with the new new watch o._s. Versions and new watches you are limited in to what apple thinks people want and starting with the series four. I was really unhappy with all the watch faces. I used the <hes> the modular one so like a bunch of data on it which is fine but i didn't like the new watch. The may new watch face. I thought they sort of butchered all the old ones when they went bigger and i want something that if i'm gonna wear on my body every day i want to be really happy with it and and you know you. May people may think that's vain. I guess to a certain degree. It is but we we do that with we do that. Now it's fashion. It's fashion and we do that with the rest of what we do right we wear where our favorite podcast t shirts and we do all these things because we <unk> the they project something about us into the world and when i see see the whatever watch i'm wearing that day <hes> i'm happy that slack can't bother me on it and i'm happy that it is exactly what i want and you know you have a question on this doc about what could bring you back to the apple watch and i'm not sure there is anything at this point i will continue to wear for fitness and exercise tracking and that means you know every couple of years up by a new one for that. I use that enough to continue that investment. I'm not going to buy a five series for series. Four is really good like a sidebar the series for watches in really great <hes> so that's gonna do me for a long time but it's kind of kind of where am federico has two or three okay so i guess maybe he bounces out here but i've just really cooled on it over the last several months. I wanted to mention because people will ask me too. I recommend a brand faira. There are british brand put them in the shadows to a very into their watches right now and they have a wide variance jason cost from like you can get watches from them. The a three hundred pounds or you can go up to like seventeen hundred pounds and it depends iva quotes watched that they make which i love just very very dealy which is called dependent. I liked that watch very very much. I think you've seen the great beautiful beautiful thing. I am with you. In that i am not really they're kind of isn't anything that apple would be able to do the apple. Watch like specifically to bring me back to like. I say well. I expect i will buy apple. Watch at some point like. I genuinely believe i will do that but it won't be a product that i wear every day like it might be a product that i wear on the specific circumstances. It might be like a health tracking tool right like that you <hes> but i could never imagine wearing a computer. Watch all the time. I can imagine in having a use case like how i imagine having what is in my future the i only ever wear when i'm wearing a suit also playing right <hes> <hes> like that they <hes> very specific purposes and i just think that this is just i think i genuinely think that the app what is just more of a when when it comes down to like a divisive device product for people. I think it's like you know if you are in the world today by and large. You probably need a smartphone of some kind right right like it's it's become one of those things where like in the vast majority of the world to get by. You need to own a smartphone. I don't think that smart watches are even nearly at that level yet and i don't know if they have a will be either <hes> and so. I just think that this is much more more of a d. Does this meet your personal needs and my personal needs like the apple. Watch does a very bad job of the low bar. Are what i wanna watch to do. <hes> which is to always be able to show me the time which cannot do right like i can look down right now and see at a time when my watch watch my apple watch would not be able to display that about movement and that's just the thing that frustrates me like it's a it's almost like a like a maim or running joke at this point with the apple watch but it's just something that i genuinely want and it doesn't do that so it fails in one very very important area and everything the apple watch can do my phone can do better and i tend to have my phone with me whenever i would need to do something so that's no judgment no judgment zone judgment. I was a devout user at the app. Watch for many years and i genuinely think what you was saying. I'd never thought of it that like as kind of all working lives calmed down like everything wasn't so urgent over time that maybe that's why i've been able to to to relax a little bit yeah and you and i have this thing too and i think it sort of formed over time. We're like we talked it was before but we talk about like life stuff in. I message slack is work and like if something's really on fire like this has happened a couple of times you're i would just call each other and like i know that if you are facetime calling me like something is happening right and vice. I and we use that very probably only a couple of times over the years. If you move away from the apple watch and you do work with somebody closely in the watch was part of that you do have to build other systems and and especially if you use the apple watch for years and years become reliant on it but i i learned i think you have to you. Don't you can make those changes and it'd be pretty seamless. If you send some some time to do it. <hes> that doesn't federal is an update federico's sent a gift that is just somebody saying the lies the lies over and over again could still be automated could be. There's no way to know seems like this. You know twitter gift. He bought can just send what feels like very poignant. Gifts gift sometimes <hes> report tweet to twitter. If you wanna find links of stuff we spoke about this week including the survey survey for relay f._m. Family feud and our merchandise and membership and all the other stuff head on over to relay dot f._m. Connected slash two fifty five while you're there you can get in touch via email or of course you can do so on twitter. You can find mike there as i am y. K. e. mike is the co host of mini shows here relay f._m. So if you love his as smooth gentle british voice voice a gentle say something gentle mike flowers pretty general if you want more of that puppies head on over to relay dot f._m. Slash shows and you can find mike's work there three ply toilet paper. He's reading your shopping list. Wait you think i wanna buy flowers puppies season toilet paper. What kind of shopping list to the through the puppies is an outlier. That's true that's why you don't like pop down to the store and pick up a few things and surprise dean of the flowers sometimes adding to justify most relationships of you. Never bring me flowers. I know that you won't flowers. Nothing good. I don't know about you. File is now okay. Okay expect them now. When i pick you up from the airport <hes> you can follow me on twitter at h. I. right over at five twelve pixels dot net federico or the ball that has an federico's twitter twitter account now is at vitucci v. I t. i. C. c. i. and he is the editor in chief of max stories dot net by thank our sponsors this week squarespace squarespace hover in care of until next time. Mike say goodbye juryo audios.

apple apple twitter mike mac apple squarespace federico clarice jason rick iowa stephen hackett dr dre us google samsung
E020  The Separation Model, Counterpoint

FileMaker Off The Record Podcast

28:32 min | 1 year ago

E020 The Separation Model, Counterpoint

"Welcome to file maker off the record. You're listening to Thomas and Theresa of profile developers discussing all the things file maker for developers and power users. They Theresa how are you. I'm awesome. How are you so far so good? That's great so today's our twentieth podcasts twenty yeah we hit one of those round numbers ask and so we've been back from DOT COM for a couple of weeks still needing to reality yeah still recovering. One thing I found when I got back is that there are is that there are several new podcasts out there. Oh Yeah podcast that popped up seemingly recently there's there's a few that have been around for a long time and and then ours has been around about a year or so little over and then I noticed I noticed one called fireside file maker and one called file Nacre Bros.. Found like arose right right yeah we are listening to them in the car so it was fun listening to them so one of the Nice things about all these podcast popping up that we enjoy the other developers joy is the same reason why everybody that we talked to loves DEFCON IF YOU'RE AN in house developer ver- and you're the only person in your company that understands file maker speak or and in some cases you're the only person there who knows anything about computers offers it is so refreshing to get into a space into an environment where there are other people who can nod at you when you say something something about. SF T. P. A. N. They know exactly what you're talking about. They can commiserate with you and they can celebrate with you. Were at the relationship graph right all these these things that other people just kind of glaze over very quickly. It's very nice to have awesome outlets where you know we can listen to. These podcasts. Nod Our heads in agreement. It's just it's good to hear that kind of dialogue right another thing like as you get different points of view so even if you've been doing this a long time for instance what we're talking about tonight. Tonight is the separation model that was on my list. We were GONNA add a separation model podcast sometime in the future but I we're doing it now. Rather than later when I was listening to one of the episodes of fireside vile maker they did separation model episode yeah and in in their description of it they talk about how they are not fans. This is I should say John Mark Osborne and Michael Rashard art and they've been around for a long time. They both been around very long time are both active in the community years and years ago John worked for clarice in support ended filmmaker support and this is like going way way back. One of the first deb cons that I went to so uh I think it was the one in Monterey but I'm not a hundred percent sure but John Mark Osborne was one of the first speakers that I heard and one of the only ones that I remember I remember him. Remember Steve Blackwell was there and not not not a whole lot else but he stood out because very good speaker and he was really interesting to watch and he really understood his audience. There were some little things like whenever he would show calculation uh-huh collation on the screen it copied out sticking texter bloated up a big and you could read it and the stuff that he was explaining and teaching. Was You know I I was of course a new developer that point but there were lots of just absolutely fantastic example examples is that that I learned from years later I had taken a class off of him as well and and I just really like his style of teaching I don't have to go down the whole path. If you're looking for classes to take and you see something by John Mark Osborne don't hesitate and then Michael Rashard I I knew that name immediately because I've bought very few foul maker Books over the years a few there haven't been all that many and two of them that I had bought years ago. I had to go look it up but were by Michael. One was book about themes. This was around the foul maker twelve and the other one was I think it's file maker in me and he talks about development in that one. They were both good books for the beginning of my career. Those are the guys doing fireside foul L. Maker they did a talk on the separation model and as neither of them a fan of it they don't use it. Neither one uses it much coach and I just wanted to give a different perspective from we do use the separation model with just about everything yeah not on every solution but on absolutely the majority so I thought we would go over like the reasons why we do and the benefits that we see and just give a counterpoint to to their to their statement to their opinion maybe to nothing and then just give the counterpoint sounds good okay the separation model. We should explain yeah so we will give our definition of the separation model so let's see if I get this right so while foul maker is the designed to have everything in one place to have the interface the scripts relationships accounts layouts in data all in one file there are many strategies and methodologies where you can separate different pieces of of your solution for different reasons and and what we're talking about is the separation of the interface and the data so in that situation your data lives in one filmaker file and it is linked to in a separate file a Ui file that has all of the scripts and layouts and relationships in it and we find that this is a good solution for us because the big benefit is that we can and deliver a solution onto a client server and then continue to work on a development version on our machine and as as we make changes and updates to the interface so we might add scripts might add layouts add tons of functionality -ality we can replace the interface file on their server and we don't disturb the data and all yeah exactly and I I agree. That's the that's that I think is the biggest benefit so I've been using the separation model for a very long time I started using Iran filmmaker five or five five and the reason I started using it is I was selling a vertical market application and if you remember because this is the four time in foul maker five five and six you could only have one table per file so any solution solution of any complexity was made up of multiple files skype but that wasn't considered a separation model at the time because it was the only model Yep right right and and actually what we did generally was each file had both so you would have contacts file and you would have your contact interface in that file and you you'd have your list in your detail for your contacts. You clicked on the grants because you need to switch to that context. You would simply be opening up. The grants file. Were looking at the list few they're clicking into a detail you know just basically jumping from one file to the other you're right and they had to they all have they couldn't all be in the same window. No I know you would be closing one for you'd have to open up a new talking the other hide all these windows right. You'd have to Ma- managing the windows was a big task and it was just part of developments just the way just the way it was the world he lived in. Yes yes any given layout was a layout for the table for the file that you're using you couldn't assign a table table from a different file as the base table for the layout. There was no relationship graph. There were relationships but I'm not going to go down there. So as I was selling the burqa market solution inevitably there were updates to be made and as my sales grew in number whenever I would send out an update I had these these long complex wchs import scripts that would go file by file transfer all the data from their old to their new. I had a installer application would open up find the files rename them then you'd run that script and it would bring all the data over and then you'd have to get rid of those files or they start to pile up from other updates and first of all a lot of work for me Lotte Work Yeah and secondly for whatever reason if you send out to one hundred people this update it might work perfectly for ninety five and the last five like this just doesn't work at all and then you're on the phone and right people all through support and usually those are the people who they don't want to try to do it themselves. They want their hand held and they need their handhelds and so the it and that's fine. There's more hours you know right so I wanted a way that I could send out updates without all that labor and to make it more reliable for the end user one way to make this less error prone so I created in a separate file and created relationships and I was using portals for to bring the data over for most of the screens and that that actually worked pretty well. I could limp so I couldn't do list views in the interface file because there was no way to do that so mystery is still had to go to the other files in pull them up but you could have done it if you were using virtual EST Noverre Eagles no variables good goodness. I couldn't do list list you had to be done in the file where the table was almost everything anything else you could just deal with through relationships and portals and whenever I would put updates out throughout the year. I tried to do try to do them. Quarterly that was my goal at the time if I could do one of those updates by sending out an interface file and the other updates because back end had to change fields to be added things like that it was worth it just to do one where everybody except the one guy who maybe had trouble with the file but their data was safe and the update process was dead simple swap this file for that file when we got to vomit or seven and bringing everything together and being able to do this whole thing with you can have a table from another file be represented in your you. I attach made life so much easier. When I started with seven almost immediately with my with my Berg market solutions separation model right from the beginning and over the years I just got an over the years refined the process and it became? I just found it to be eminently practical article for those for those things so then whenever I started doing more custom development. I don't think I started off with the separation model. I think with my custom I started all in one and before long you just run into the same problem. Even though you only have one client my client's at the time nobody was in the cloud. This is going back away so everybody had they either server on site or they were doing peer to peer something like that and I have the same problem with doing updates and being able to you know had to work on site and if I wanted to work at home made things more difficult so I started splitting that up as well and the the found that just saved me again so much so much hassle and so much time and it made it easier for my clients appliances well because whenever an update would come they didn't have to go through any kind of import process at all it was swap out the files and if something doesn't work you swapping back to the old one right back and they're all back to where they were an hour ago right. It has those advantages it so those development development advantages and what I see is big advantages for the client one of the issues that they had on fireside filmmaker was that whenever you have to add fields and in you have to add fields right then you're touching the data file anyway so there that happens quite a bit as we refine the process in gets more mature. You're the same as the whenever solutions get more mature over time you find you add fields at a much slower rate so it's more more likely you're changing interface than you're touching data for instance whenever we do reports because that's what you get calls about people want additional reports or tweak tiller report or tweak to a report we do most of our reporting in virtual lists so that doesn't usually require additional fields were dealing with the data that's already there and even if it does need additional fields we do all of our globals virtual list the the data behind that is in our interface file wrote and does not impact the customer's data at all for so we are are free to make changes without worrying about any kind of disruption and when the inevitable happens and we have to add fields so we have a development copy on us on our server and they're using there's on the cloud or wherever if the update requires us to change bunch of things in the U I and add three fields to three different tables what we've done in the past as well is recreate the fields in the same order that we did in our solution and their solution rather than go through a whole new export import process data right and with the with the data migration tool that minimises the problem of doing that to share sure but even with the data migration till you're still a again it comes comes back to your inconveniencing the client because if it happens again happens to be particularly large file with a lot of data that can still take time and they're down the entire time so depending on who the client is if they are company that has three shifts they cannot be shutdown right or if there's international and so there's always the potential that somebody's ladies in files right 'cause they. Somebody's awake in every time zone so another issue or concern is that it slows down development velopment time because you have to jump back and forth between files and that's true but whenever you're used to doing it we have multiple files open open on our screens we use ultimate screens and we have multiple files open and you just you just get in the habit on creating fields else knew even you set up a custom. I have a cat yeah a shortcut. If I'm in the unfortunately browse mode so I have a key he command to open manage database in the data file and that kind of work you go in and you do your work and you come out and you're you're back at your you. I file so we find that it just doesn't affect development time that much yeah yeah when you're first doing it. You know you might open it up and then go. Oh Oh that's right none of the fields that I want to look at our in this file from happens we still do it on occasion yeah and then you jump back to the getting used to the a workflow once you're used to it. It's second nature so another benefit that I came across that will benefit that I couldn't use utilize so I gotta call by local company that they had an existing file maker solution and they were having problems with WHO's crashing a lot and they had an in house guy who built it and that was now gone so they needed someone to help them with it and when I went and checked the file had some core damage in it and I said okay let's go to a backup they had months of backups. They were all damaged the same way so they've been using this file for ages with damage in it and they didn't know at first and then when it started crashing they would just get it to come back up and they would just I keep using yeah so just work through it so I had no no good known file to go back to so this is what they had if the system had been in the separation model. There's a good chance the so foul maker her again. This was an older version as well so it was a little more prone to corruption assists in quite the same as it is now but file maker her would save data as it's going and if anything happened to the connection while it was saving data that potentially could cause corruption action and odds are that corruption would happen in the data file and what I could do then is worst case export all the data to text cleaned up there if necessary then recreate the data file from scratch which is tables and fields that wouldn't take that long to import the Murph aisles right recreating the UI file from scratch approach because you couldn't risk copying an entire lay on pasting it because there could be corruption and what copying and pasting so that just continues the problem was not a reasonable option trend for them. they had two hundred eighty something like that layouts they used. They used a good the deal of them but they didn't know which ones they didn't use so that's what happened in that. That's what happens and then you have the scripts which the I don't know where the corruption is so I would have been able to had had there been separation model in that example. There's a reasonably good chance recreating the data file would've just fixed the whole thing so but moving the data like I said before the data's up the the data migration shen tool massively speeds up stage you from writing all those scripts to imports and exports and it just massively speeds up the movement of data from one file to the other so that I agree with them that in some cases that just eliminates the issue but it's still not faster than swapping opioid one you I file a comment that John made was that he does live development mostly so you don't need the separation ration- model and that because foul maker has become so solid and so flexible that you can do almost anything and live and that I totally agree with as well We're not afraid of doing life development John claimed to have I've never had an issue of corruption in all the years. He's been doing live development and I absolutely believe him because neither have I. I've done live developmental. Not It's probably not the main way developed but I've done it an awful lot and I've never had a file become damaged because of it. We've clients were live development. The open is not an option like some of the large companies that are security is such a consideration that they won't allow laptops that don't belong to the company to access the network which case you know I've been in situations shins where I would reason the separation model I would make changes to the interface file and the data file and the data file changes. He's like while I could. Mu I had access to a machine that was on their network and so while the guy who's computer was I went to a meeting I can use it to upload the interface file the data file updates I would recreate before uploading the I. File and do that in the order they were created and just pay special attention to what I was doing and in some cases I couldn't even update the file. One of my clients didn't out of the country and they the clients in another country and is on a secure site which it's the same thing there's no. VPN's allowed in. There's no you know so you have to travel there here to do the work and I have copies of their files with no data that I can work on here and then take them down down and again be whenever able to just swap the vile it is cute. I can actually send that to them. It's a it's a rather than spending you know four days going back and forth Africa right I can email them a file or you know the then it's their problem to figure out how to get it on site right on then at Sephora Sephora our phone support conversation to let them know which which file goes where into talk through because they have. They're they're tech people rotate out right so who you're talking to this time is not not who you're GonNa talk to you next time yeah and it it gets it gets rough so there are situations where the separate you I files can be very which makes such a huge huge difference. One of the detriments of course is the security and accounts yes but when you're using thing if use external authentication that problem pretty much disappears completely you just have to be consistent and when you're not using external authentication we always drop in account management into every solution we do anyway so whenever we end up with a multi file solution you just drop up in those pieces fixture privilege set names and you're done and the whole thing just gets managed end end the account management. That's a module. We've mentioned it before a couple of other podcasts some pretty sure but that's available on modular filmmaker right dot org right aside from the obvious benefits that we mentioned there's there's some positives that come just because it is file maker whenever you do a single file or separation there's no speed difference and that helps a lot in particular when you actually need separate interfaces because different departments have different needs and for various reasons and I think they mentioned this on the on their podcast as well that there are times when they use separation in a situation like that where it you need different files for different departments and that's just the way it is or perhaps with go with a with a mobile application it can make a lot more sense to have a Ui file on the IRS and the data in the cloud. That's very common and and Klay Michael Claim Apple is the chief software architect at clarice for file maker and he actually really likes the separation model because it minimizes file locking issues because you two thousand set of wants the reason we continue continue to you. Separation model is because we see benefits for the client. That's a more concerned about you know rather than art. Our work does this is this advantageous they just for the client and for like I said for most of our clients in some situations if you need to test something that's going to impact act the data in a way or say you're testing. A new type of import is better to do that testing on a local Mike on and you're development server and work out the kinks in your junk data file rather than messing up the data yeah they're. They're live data that they're using in their business. So I think that covers an awful lot of it I think I I think I think we got our point across. Yes at some point in the future. I think it would be good to talk about their so there's other types of separation model like the separation Asian of functionality or the separation of concerns and there's reasons for why some of it's good why some of it might not be so I think that might be interesting to talk about the future of Sodas wealth sure thank you everyone for listening. We very much appreciate it. We really do and if you'd like to ask us any questions or if you have a suggestion for something you would like to hear please send us an email at off the record at profile developers dot com. We'd love

John Mark Osborne developer Michael Rashard Theresa Nacre Bros T. P. A. Thomas Monterey Steve Blackwell Ma Iran Mike clarice Africa Klay Michael
Humility & Humiliation: Bellwether Hub Podcast 65

Bellwether Hub Podcast

20:36 min | 5 months ago

Humility & Humiliation: Bellwether Hub Podcast 65

"I'm Jim Frawley, and this is Belle weather. Oh, really? and maybe welcome to Bellwether this week. We're talking continuing to talk about your lifestyle change in the new economy. And it's a it's a heartfelt episode this week as we as we move on through this pandemic the last couple of episodes. I'm talking about really lifestyle and the new economy and what it's going to take for you to be successful in the new economy. And we talked a lot, you know good things we talk about accountability off by getting things done and and doing what you say you are going to do and now that's part of your reputation and how you get to control that that type of thing and then we talked last week about we don't do stress off my grandmother's old saying, you know finding the right kind of way to to be aggressive and and get things done and Today, I want to continue pushing towards getting more things done and evolving who you are made the new economy. And today I'm going to cover humility but not in the way that you think I'm going to cover humility, and I'm going to cover humiliation. And and spoiler alert right now. I'm going to tell you how much humility is not a good thing and write a lot about this in the book. So I want you to stay with her on that. It's a dead. I was writing my chapter. One of my chapters was going to be called be humble and I got halfway through him like this is shit. It's all wrong. It's not right and so it's I scrapped the whole entire thing and flip it on its head and and the more I think about humility the more I think about the negative aspects of the word and there's a great quote by Clarice lispector. If you're familiar with literature to read a book called The Passion of GH and she said I think she's Brazilian. It's great book. It's on the thousand down to read before you die. I recommend it those only those who are not humbled or humiliated. And it's a good thing got me thinking for a little bit and humility and humiliation. Come from the same base, which I never put the two together and while while you can theoretically say that they have very different meanings. There's definitely something there to explore and off the definition of humility what we're telling everyone debate would love to tell people to be humble be humble is to have a low opinion of yourself. And that is is not good and humiliation effectively is being harshly reminded of that long opinion of herself. Also, not good. Now we talk about humble leadership being a good thing we talked about and and I understand that it's I would argue that it's not necessarily a bad thing. But when we talk about humble leadership, we're not really talking about being humble. What we're talking about is don't be an arrogant ass and that's different. Okay. So humility is pitched as this reverential holy tail between your legs. It's really I mean over time it's evolved but it was really driven by the by the religious sector and it's to recognize that God or someone is bigger than you and recognize your own insignificance and you aren't the end-all be-all and and that's fine right there. There's there's a good limit their right but it begins and ends. With just the fact that you know, don't be an arrogant ass and that's it and too many times. I speak a lot with my clients name comes up a lot is that they said well, I just wanted to be humble so I didn't ask for it and that's wrong. Like we're not going to be successful in the new economy. If you're not asking for things and taking credit for things and you as you go if she's Jupiter or or your business or anything if you're not taking credit for it somebody else is And so taking credit for something you're proud of or being proud of your work or giving yourself license to say I want to do this or I want credit for that and I did this that's not a good thing and that was something I had to learn and I unfortunately I learned it after corporate because I just let people walk all over me. I would just said, okay. Well, it's good for the team. You not good for the team. I'm not going to and and I got no credit for it and what we're really talking about with humble leadership is really like this effective humility. And it's it's just you know be a learner from your people and be a partner but also stick up for what's right, that's you know, that that confident humility and those are not differential were experts and really what we need is is to be a member of a team as the leader but knowing your place is a leader and getting people to execute on wage they're going to execute and when we think about so there's a lot of words that come up when we talk about leadership, right? You've got vulnerability You've Got Confidence you've got humility and everyone's very quick to tell you what you need to be as a leader wage and they're going to tell you you have to be vulnerable. But you also have to be humble and you also have to be confident and then that's it. Like they just leave it there and you just say like kiss my ass man. That's you know, you've just handed me a pretty lethal cocktail lounge. It's almost impossible to figure out and what people are just saying which they like to just tell people in their lazy way of giving advice because their their own insecurities is driving it is they just want to tell you how to behave And so they said be humble and that doesn't mean anything. It doesn't help anything and A wise man once told me he was actually the first coach I ever went to before I left corporate the difference between arrogance and confidence is follow through. And it's a fine line and I struggled myself a lot with you know wanting to be seen as confident and I very often people misinterpreted it as arrogance and I came off as an arrogant individual and I didn't get my attention but I was trying to fill this kind of that's kind of Gap and humility is just taken too far this lowly opinion of yourself making this a modesty page will not help you be successful in the new economy. We need to be diligent and taking credit for our work and we need to be outspoken in in what we want and what we desire and that could be done in a proper way, but we have to remember to cover ourselves. Because if you don't tell someone what you want, you're never going to get it nobody's thinking about you. I hate to tell you that nobody's think about it. We've got so many things think about it yourself think about all the things are dealing with I think about like Alison accounting. Are you really thinking about what's important for Allison and Counting know you thinking about what's important for Steve the lawyer know you're thinking about your little world. But if Steve the lawyer are Allison accounting came to you and said, this is what I wanted. That's very, okay. Well, maybe I'll help you write and that's different. So you have to articulate what it is that you want. You have to stick up for yourself, which brings me back to humiliation month. We also hear a lot and there's so many things that just catch fire right? You gotta be humble, you gotta bills and and this thing of fear of failure, which I bought into I bought into a while ago the they are afraid of failure and they're not or maybe they are a little bit but they're not that's not what's driving their fear. What's really stopping us from challenging ourselves. And what's really stopping us from from really pushing our own envelope is humiliation. That's what we're afraid. We are petrified of being humiliated. And its culture revolves and and everything changes in technology. Everybody's an expert. We live in like this world of unaccountable online commentary and it's very easily. It's very easy to get humiliated when you put something out there and when I ask people, you know, what do you create doesn't have to be something artsy, but what do you create? Do you create a strategy Have you communicated it? Have you built a business office and people will say no it's because they're afraid of someone ripping it apart and that's not failure that's humiliation. And there is nothing worse. I know it. Then trying really hard to do something putting your soul into it and have people make fun of it because it feels personal. And that hurts it's it's social rejection. It's physical pain, whatever you want to talk about the brain the way it treats. It doesn't matter. You aren't afraid of failing with writing a book you're afraid it's going to be rejected or it's not going to sell where that package. I think it sucks. That's what you're afraid of now is a failure or not failure. I don't know you're not afraid of launching a business necessarily you could always start it on the side, whatever business you're thinking of your being told. You're not good enough. Now if you had the same type of business that you want to start you just started on the side and it just petered out fine. At least you tried it and failed. But at least you tried it and nobody would make funny for that because you'll do anything. I tell the story a lot of people come to me all the time about I want to start a podcast but they don't want to say that they're afraid but they're afraid and what I tell them is we'll just record five podcast and they look at me like I'm crazy and then I dropped the little Hammer I said nobody has to see it. And then when I tell them that nobody has to see it whatever you create like we have this imagination that our world is so big. Nobody has to see what you create until you share with them. They said oh Well, that's interesting. And so they're not afraid of doing a podcast. They're afraid of the rejection of other people. And then so you do your five little podcasts and you share them with people you really trust and you gear yourself up for the negative commentary. That's probably not going to come. You know, some people will give you good advice and we should show up the negative a little bit. But if you want to do like I do my podcast for fun, it's literally for fun. That's it. I don't, you know sell advertising on this thing. I don't do I do it for fun. And I think it's time for my clients. I also tell the story a lot and this is probably where my humiliation thing comes from is is just the the term or phrase of being knocked down a peg being knocked down a few pegs. I grew up in a very large irish-american family Northeast Bronx New York and then Pennsylvania for a little bit and I wouldn't trade my large family or my Irish American Heritage or anything like I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's awesome makes me who I am. Home Comfort everything can't be replaced but the Irish American culture is very big on authenticity and the Irish culture in general like the Irish Pub not just irish-american, but Irish are very big on authenticity and they're very quick to notice when someone is trying to they say put on airs right and and off and when you think about just Irish history and and who the Irish are and the ancestry of of just Irish Americans and Irish people is they're built their poetry song history art. It's all based on this extraordinary capability of observing like the human element. That's what that's what makes Irish people so fantastic. So with that context off there's a saying in at least the Irish American culture. I'm sure the Irish do it to of someone needs to be knocked down a peg or two months. And I heard it all the time growing up when someone was a little too confident or your ego got stretched a little too far off or when you did something that was a little too self-serving not serving others you were seen as needing to be knocked down a few pegs and it's uncomfortable to watch when you watch someone get knocked down a few pegs page. So incredibly uncomfortable. I'm an observant on individual. I've always been an observant on individual. Do you grow up with five siblings? You just learn to kind of sit and watch and see what's going on and and and play the room a little bit. And so you see it happen when someone gets knocked down a few pegs, and I've been my I've been knocked down a few pegs quite a bit as well off. But when you watch someone's face, even if they hold up like a courageous face afterwards you watch them and it is just painful to watch and you know what, maybe someone I know I've needed to be knocked down a few pegs before birth. It's fine. It's justifiable. But but the problem with knocking someone down a few pegs and humiliation. Now, I'm going to Pivot it like we're afraid of humiliation. But let's take a look on the other side of the people. Who do it who humiliate. The problem with it is that it's subjective who's to say you're being too confident who's to say that you're being too self-serving without the full context, but it's subject to the whims and emotions of the person doing the knocking. And when we're at a vulnerable time or at an impressionable age those two things go hand-in-hand and I want you to think back to when maybe you're humiliated as a child. It makes us not want to try harder and it puts us into our little box and when we get a little too stretched out and other people remind us of that we suddenly don't want to try and Forge A, New Path. And and then all of a sudden we're starting to live the life in The Narrative of the people around us and and that's not you know, it's not good wage. My cage got rattled a bunch growing up and it's part of the large part of learning right? We have to test our boundaries, but for a long time, I wouldn't push outside my comfort zone off and then I hated my situation. I was stuck at corporate was doing this and that and it sucked and I it was because I was afraid of being humiliated for trying something new and worth trying something new just I built up this whole entire thing elevated and and expected risk of humiliation. From people I respected and then I realized that I was worried about the wrong people and then that's like a whole it's a whole different podcast right there, but unintentionally and and all the people who knocked me down their intention wasn't to make me not try harder. Many like there's all kinds of reasons why you know, it's we like to say it's for the benefit of them. You know, they gotta remember where they came from blah blah blah blah blah blah, but when it's subjected to the just the whims of another person it's I've learned over time because I've watched it happened to more and more people. It's really driven by an insecurity of the person doing the knocking. We get we like to feel Superior to other people and when things are out of control, which you've heard me talk a lot about this. I mean, this is something that's so fundamental that nobody really experiences or or recognizes or addresses is when things are out of control. We put other people down so we could feel better about ourselves. And it's it's not productive for anybody. Um, and and you know, I know people who just don't operate that way and they push people up and they're always, you know, motivating and everything and took those are the people that that others are attracted to and want to be around and I've always admired that in someone. And and and and needs to change and so I I would ask yourself a couple of questions one is what fear of humiliation do you have and Tuesday, are you doing the knocking? You know, do you most people I know don't need to be knocked down a few pegs. They need to be pushed up a couple of packs and it's like, you know making fun of a homeless person at a job fair. Like why would you do that? Why would you knock someone down a few pegs? They're trying to better their life to trying to do something new or they're trying to challenge themselves and people do it to feel Superior because of their own a security and so I'll wrap today not wrap a wrap up. You know what I mean is ask yourself if you're asking yourself the right questions. That's it. If you want to challenge yourself, it's a particular way. The first question you should be asking yourself is are you proud of what you're creating? And this could be creating anything. This could be creating a business. It could be creating a book could be creating a painting. It could be creating. I don't know just a garden like whatever. It doesn't matter. It could be whatever you want it to be challenging yourself to do something new and a new experience. You don't want to give reasons to anybody else. But if you're proud of it, then it's irrelevant what other people think and so I I would ask are you asking the right questions? Are you asking if you're proud of something off and if you do this, will you be proud of it that you can tell someone? Hey, I tried this but there are worked or not. This is what I learned right? Great. We talk about failure as like a learning opportunity and Everyone likes to Pivot it, but nobody talks about family Asian. So you can try whatever the hell you want. And if you're proud of it, even if it failed then that's great, or are you asking yourself? What will the neighbors say? If I try it then you're asking yourself the wrong question. Are you proud of doing what it is that you're doing? And I guess you could probably ask that in terms of life in general right if you really wanted to get you know. Crazy, are you proud of your corporate lawyer job? I'm not going to get into that. I'm not doing career coaching but mostly talking about getting over the humility and the back in and I want you to think about that and think about challenging yourself in the proper way and dammit be proud of what it is that you do. That's it and take credit for it and learn that's part of you know, we learn through experience. We talked about being a learner we talk about challenging ourselves to talk about being successful. You can't do it. If you don't try anything, try the things that will make you proud. And a lot of times it's not going to work, but you know what? It doesn't fail either. If you take a look at anybody's business plan from when they started to when they got five years down the road ten years down the road looks nothing like what they thought but they tried and they evolved and you know what it turned into something completely different home and that's okay, right? So stop being humiliated. It's okay. Love yourself be good have a wonderful week and as always here for you if I can help you with that. Thank you so much for listening. Now do something for yourself Bellwether is much more than just the podcast join us at Bellwether of where you can read riveting articles view upcoming events and connect with other interesting people. I look forward to seeing you out there soon.

Bellwether Clarice lispector Jim Frawley Steve Allison Belle weather Irish Pub New York partner Irish American Heritage Pennsylvania Alison five years two months ten years
150: What if you were trapped in a cycle of abuse?

This is Actually Happening

55:53 min | 1 year ago

150: What if you were trapped in a cycle of abuse?

"Before today's episode. I wanted to remind everyone that there is now a facebook group for the show. You can join the community on facebook by searching for this is actually happening. Discussion Group A big. Thank you to everyone who has already contributed. I hope to see more of you. Join the conversation soon. My earliest memories as a child or fear and anxiety. I was obsessed with being able to control the situation and I was never able to control the situation and that would drive me crazy. That unknown just haunted me To the term attempt corporations presentation of the Audio podcast. This is actually happening. Episode fifty were trapped in a cycle of abuse. Today's episode of this is actually happening is brought to you by Madison Reed. Are you concerned about what's in your hair color that it might be damaging your hair? Madison Reed is reinventing at home. Hair color to give you salon-quality result delivered to your door made with ingredients that you can feel good about unlike other hair color doesn't have these six ingredients that can do damage to your hair. No AMMONIA NO PARABENS. No validates no. Pp No gluten and no sodium laurel sulfate and it's full of ingredients that actually nourish your hair medicine recovers infused with Argon. Oil Carrollton and Ginseng extract. So you get shiny healthy looking hair and it's incredibly convenient. They deliver right here door on your schedule. Whenever you're ready you do it on your schedule in under an hour in the comfort of your own home. What makes Madison Reed Color? Unique is that it's crafted by master clarice. Blend nuances of light dark. Cool and warm. To create over forty five gorgeous shades. Get Ammonia free multidimensional hair-color delivered to your door. Starting at twenty two dollars visit Madison. Dash read nut Com. That's Madison Dash Reed Dot Com and this is actually happening listeners. Get ten percent off plus free shipping on your first color kit. Use the Promo Code happening. That's code happening I'm an only child. My mom was a single mom. My Dad started experiencing some demons with drugs and alcohol and so they split when I was probably about one years old So my mom raised me by herself. I'm Biracial so my dad is black. My mom white and I was raised with my mom's side of the family who was also happened. Be Jewish so it was interesting Growing up I was like the only black girl in Hebrew school and things like that so a lot of my family spent a lot of their time focusing on me because I was like the only great-grandchild also. I think that I was just surrounded by a lot of love and I recall being pretty happy as a kid also. There wasn't that many men in my family and so it was kind of just all my aunts and my grandmother's and and my mom and my cousins who were also all women so I feel like I was raised by a lot of strong women who taught me a lot about myself. I was always told when I was younger that I was like here before. I just remember like being so in touch with my emotions and knowing when things were wrong with other members of my family. I don't know I always had the sense that I was also an old soul and I think that goes back to maybe a past life. I remember one day. I was roller skating. At one of the cemetery's down the street from my house and I remember me like going up to some random tombstone and just being like. Oh Hey mom like these are my real parents so it was kind of thing in my family that like. I've just known that I've been here before it. I feel every day and I felt it from my earliest memories. I remember my mom. Being super into lake. Fortune Tellers psychics and mediums. The same thing they would say all the time. It's like your daughter is your Guardian Angel and my mom would always say she had a pass before she had me that I just changed her life and I saved her life and I think that was kind of a pattern and something. I took me really up until this day. Being Twenty six years old. I feel like I've always kind of saved. My mom and I was always her reason and her motivation to do a lot of things in life growing up I was very extroverted very outgoing. Very outspoken. Very unapologetic and I don't feel like I've changed much. I've always just been like an entertainer. Just not afraid to take risks. Even as a child is very expressive. My mom is not so much of young mom. Show me at twenty three but she. We didn't grow up rich at all so she couldn't afford childcare. All the time and so I would just kind of go to work with my aunt which was at a bar and also performing on break my heart in front of like a bar full of like junk men and women shooting pool and I was doing it for like free. Shirley temples and I was very outgoing and I still am growing up by racial was interesting. You know I never really felt that I was an outcast ahead a very openminded family and I'm very blessed and lucky to have been raised in that type of environment but I remember having a lot of identity crisis. I obviously look different and I knew I look different. I did have some type of relationship with my father's mother so I knew that I was black. Obviously but there's not many black kids in school in mind. There is just me so that was interesting too. I always felt like I stood out there but I did go to public schools. Where I it was natural for me to just become friends with the black it like I felt like I finally like. Wow these people feel like more so my family than my family do. Sometimes like they kind of just get me. They look like me like now. I feel like I have a sense of community school I think a lot of racial kids. Go through this at least friends of mine. Who you're just kinda not white enough for the white kids and not black enough for the kids but you look like the Spanish kids but you're not Spanish. You don't speak Spanish what you going to offer me like. I am trying to fit in here. The best they can. It's not really going well and so I just ended up finding my people so I remember. My mom was dating a guy who at the time. I was calling my dad because they started dating when I was so young and I loved him and he was black and also just looked like me and embrace me as his child. I think they started dating when I was two until maybe about five. I feel like I have that complete family now. I felt really secure protected in home. Then I got news that he was cheating on my mom and that was really devastating to me shortly after my mom and I were out to dinner one night and she was like I. WanNa take you somewhere. There's kids there and I want you to meet someone and I was like okay like sure. Remember going to someone's house and meeting this man. It was interesting meeting him because I'd never saw my mom be romantic with anybody else. Besides the man I was in referring to as my dad was her ex boyfriend. So you remember being a little weirded out like why is she hugging this man like that are holding his hand or kissing him like that? I'm almost like oh by the way like this. Is Steve This little sister? You guys go play like become friends. Go play dress up or something five or six. At the time I was like okay like this can't be that bad so I just remember the beginning being really cool. He had a big family. I didn't know much about them but there are so many kids so I just felt like it was fun like any time. My mom is like we're going to Steve's house I'd be like Oh my God. Yeah like assisted homers his daughter home daughter who is a year older than me as well my introduction to him was was very sweet it was fun. Sorry I remember my mom saying I know. It's been us for a little while. But I think Steve's GonNa move in you know he's going to help us with some bills and I was probably two months before they decided to move in together. This is awesome. Like and he was he was cool. He was kind of like a big so we had a lot of fun together during those first two months on asleep but then things changed really quickly. It's weird. I remembered a smell in him. That started changing. And I don't know if you've ever smelled like a drunk construction worker. It's a very distinctive smell of sweat and cheap beer. He started drinking a lot more and it would be him just coming home from work and drinking so much and you know he was always kinda funny when he drank. I remember him like drinking a couple of. We're GONNA have fun tonight because like I don't know I guess. When he got drunk he was just kind of cool. Obviously that didn't last very long The drinking picked up. He was drinking one night and he was just kept asking my mom. Like can you bring me this and I'm going to bet like it's one o'clock in the morning I was up because he was outside with his friends and music was blasting. We lived in a really small house. So you can hear everything to the walls. They were kind of like paper so I remember like tossing and turning just like eavesdropping. And can you bring me another beer? And she was like. Oh I think it's time to just like come inside it's late. The neighbors are starting to wonder what's going on out here and I just remember screaming at my mom and calling hurt the worst things. I've ever heard anyone call anyone at six years old and me just being like. There's no way that this guy who I thought was so fine and caring and loving could ever speak to my mother like that. We grew up in a very peaceful household. We all respected each other. I just thought this was so weird. My thoughts of him changed immediately when I heard him raise his voice at my mom. Things just changed almost immediately. I remember the next day saying something to my mom like. Are you okay like did that? Make you sad when he yelled at you. And you're like no. It's okay like he was just drinking a little too much like. That's what happens when people drink a lot and I was like. Oh okay so now when I associated him drinking as something cool and fine immediately I was like okay. Anytime he drinks is not gonNa be good one night. It was probably six months. After we moved in together he had went away to jail for. I believe a month and it was for D. Wise or something along those lines and my mom had some type of like get together. I think it was the football game super bowl or something and she invited their mutual friends over and I just remember when everyone started coming over. She was just giving this claim. Like do not tell Steve. The adult drink. Some beer were literally just watching the football game and I was a little bit confused by that but he wasn't home and I was like okay. It's fine whenever people came and they left thus forward the week after he got out of jail. I remember going to his friend's house and he lived in a trailer park and I remember going to the trailer park and it was probably around two in the afternoon. My mom was a waitress so she was her waitressing job now remember his friend bringing up the Party and as soon as he brought up the party my stomach dropped and I was like. Oh my gosh like this was a huge secret and I remember the look on Steve's face after his friend told her about the Party and it was scary he kind of just blind. He looked at me as if maybe I was supposed to tell him this information. I obviously didn't later on that night. It's eleven o'clock at night when she was done her shift picking my mom up from work and he was so drunk driving in the car driving and she gets in the car. He gives her a huge hug huge kiss. We're getting closer to our house and he says we're GonNa have some fun tonight. He pull my mom's like what do you mean by that? It's eleven o'clock at night and I hear him say so. What happened when I was away? Like what did you do and I'm almost like I didn't do anything I just hung out. I went to work. Took her school. We just we didn't do anything and then I hear him smack her and say well. That's a lie. You're not to hang out with my friends and I'm not around a don't want you around other men. This was not supposed to happen and my mom's like I'm really sorry I won't happen again. But nothing went on and he was like. I don't care that nothing screaming like I don't care. Nothing went on so whatever my mom leaves the room goes into the kitchen. I guess didn't realize why she went into the kitchen but it was to get a knife to defend herself because he was being really physical with her. And I heard them rumbling around the room and my mom's screaming and the slaps in and I just here like just stay in your room like stay in your room. Everything's okay like just stay in your room and I was like just trying to plan an escape. I don't know if I can even get away. We'll hear me if I open my window. Like would he do this to me? I'm not sure screams in the kitchen. I guess he saw my mom with a knife and obviously throw it out of her hand and I just hear like. I'm sorry I'm sorry. And he's just slapping her in. I hear glass breaking and I hear him call my name to come out there and I'm like okay just a second and I'm just trying to act brave and not be scared mind you. I think I'm six not even seven yet and I'm trying to be as brave as I can so I walk out of my room into living room? There is blood everywhere. There's blood on the walls. My mom is in a fetal position in the corner of my kitchen with glass all over her and I just hear her saying like don't hit her. Don't touch her like don't touch my daughter and he didn't but he said come look at your mom and he was like this is what happens when you lie to me thinking okay. Well I did lie to you. At least I didn't tell you the truth. I didn't tell you about the party so my next like is this going to happen to me. He tells me go back in my room. I remember the fighting continuing Him just kicking my mom and punch or a mom and just hear screams and my mom screaming call nine one one call nine one one. I'm frozen being in my room and having to use the bathroom so bad but I couldn't even move like I couldn't tell my brain to move my legs to get up and leave my room to use the bathroom so I- peed on myself and I remember thinking well. This is what babies do like. Why am I doing this and I was so mad at myself for even doing that? It's such an old age so I thought I was like. Wow this is so embarrassing. I hope no one knows. I'm just what myself eventually he got in the shower and my mom walked into my bedroom. Just saw me. I guess frozen and she threw me the phone. And what just con- I'm one? You know address just content on one so I call on Amazon. Can you please stay on the phone with me into the police get there and I said no? I'm not going to stay on the phone with deal if he comes out of the shower. I'm going to be really scared. My mom asked me to call nine one one. Please just come to my house so the cops came as soon as he added the shower. Remember hearing knock on my door now as thank God thank God. They took them away. Ask My mom some questions. And did you restraining order and all this stuff? And she said no I sp- specifically remember her saying no. Why why wouldn't you want to do anything about this? He goes to jail for the night. And I remember Waking Up. Maybe it was like ten. Am The next morning to knock on the door. And it's him. He's out of jail already before he even says anything to my mom he walks into my room and throws a phone like at my head and goes in case. You WanNa be a little pussy and call the cops again here. You go through a phone. I mean I was like how did he know that? Call the cops at that. Point felt betrayed by the cops. 'cause I was like I didn't want him to know that I was the one who called them and I remember the house being a mess. There is still glass all over the floor and they'd both just started cleaning up. Ten minutes goes by maybe maybe longer than ten minutes to get another knock on the door and it's his mom and she walks in and I'm like wow finally someone's GonNa know what just went on and maybe show talk some sense into him or you know. Take him away or something. His mom walks in the house and it was so eerie. She goes under the sink. Puts ON SOME GLOVES? Put some hot water in a bucket and starts cleaning the off the walls he and my mom are talking like nothing ever happened and I remember her vacuuming up the glass and clean the blood the walls and just not even asking like what happened here and asked me if I was hungry while she was cooking breakfast she was cleaning up the mess. Offer of US IN HOUSE ME Steve. My mom and his mom just one big group effort to get the house back in order. I don't know exactly what's normal and what's not but this seems off. Something crazy just happened last night. I'm still scared and everyone around me as acting like nothing ever happened like so. Am I the One freaking out about this and also like who is going to reprimand him? You know when you're can you think your mom is just like God. So when his mom came I was like Oh thank God he would never act like this round his mother and for some reason it just seems so normal to her in the most insane way possible then it was just we all just ate breakfast together and my mom obviously has scratches and bruises all over but it was honestly like nothing ever happened. I remember going to school the next day the bell rang at school and I was supposed to go and obviously get on the bus to go home but I remember being frozen in my seat and just not leaving school. My mom my mom came to the school and I remember her talking to the guidance. Counselor in saying yeah. We just argued that it was just an argument so I remember asking the whole ride home like why did you say that it was just an argument because it was and if you tell people that it was more than that than they might take away so I remember the whole ride home asking over and over and over again? Are You Stephen? Okay are you in stabile? It was just a nervous tic that felt like I was asking every five seconds of that night and the following nights to come. I do specifically remember that night. Being in the first time that I felt anxiety. Remember sweating in my heart racing. My vision being really blurry walking into the House that day just thinking. I don't feel well and at that point. I guess I felt like I was going to pass out now that I know it. Anxiety feels like as an adult from that point on. I feel like my anxiety. Just worsened worsened worsened. I think what was most prevalent to me was the nervous tics of asking. Are you in Steve? Okay honestly asking that question every two minutes be like or even save okay or UNC. Okay and I was just hoping that she would just say yes so I could calm down. I thought that if I heard that they were okay and they were not fighting than my heart would stop racing. That would maybe be able to eat. Okay the sooners said yes. I was able to breath but then two minutes later I would ask again or UNC bouquet. 'cause my anxiety would just come back and be like a UN Steve. Okay yes. Please stop asking me that question. My answer has not changed from the last twenty times. You asked me this hour like we are fine. There's no fighting and I'd be like okay. I would just continue asking in hopes that when she said their case it would be the truth but nine times out of ten. That was never the case and I would feel really betrayed and lied to so at some point me asking that question over and over and over again even saying it right now makes me sweat and feel really nervous. It was always physical. They know he never just yelled at her. He always hit her or through. Something at her or there is strangling going on. They were truly descend. Never Okay today's episode of this is actually happening is brought to you by the great courses plus we all deserve to be able to further our knowledge and continue learning throughout our lifetime with the great courses plus streaming service. We have the freedom to learn more about virtually any topic with courses that don't just cover the basics but go deep into subject matter taught by elite professors experts from around the world you'll get unlimited access to thousands of lectures on topics like boosting your emotional intelligence great music of the twentieth century and even travel photography cooking and with the great courses plus APP. You have the flexibility to watch or listen just about anywhere anytime. I recommend the course. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Techniques Retraining your brain. Cbt therapy was critical in helping me overcome a panic disorder that developed in my early thirties. And this course has been fascinating to help me. Better understand the mechanisms behind managing moods breaking negative patterns and creating lasting healing. The great horses pluses offering. This is actually happening listeners. This amazing deal for a limited time. Only they are offering you an entire month for free but to start your one month. Free trial you must sign up using my special. Url sign up now at the great courses plus dot com slash happening. That's the great courses plus dot com slash happening. Today's episode of this is actually happening is brought to you by upstart as most of us have found out the hard way getting into debt as easy but getting out his hard. Especially if your credit score is in great thankfully now there's upstart dot com the revolutionary lending platform. That knows. You're more than just your credit score and offer smarter interest rates to help you pay off high interest credit card debt for so many people. I know credit card debt is the number one obstacle keeping them from achieving their financial goals. Upstart goes beyond the traditional credit score. When assessing your credit worthiness rewarding you based on Education Job History in the form of a smarter interest rate. They make it fast. Simple and easy to check your rate in just a few minutes join over. Four hundred thousand people who've used upstart to pay off credit cards and free yourself. The burden of high interest credit card debt see why upstart is top ranked in their category with a four point nine out of five rating on trust pilot and hurry to upstart dot com slash happening to find out. How low your upstart rate is checking? Your rate only takes a few minutes. That's upstart dot com slash happening. During this time that my mom was with him. I just remember always being so excited to play with his little sister. He was probably around thirty to thirty five at that time and she was around fourteen to sixteen So she was a little older than me but a lot younger than him so always felt like we were a lot closer than they were so as my relationship started to grow with his little sister she became really comfortable with me and her. Just telling me all of these stories. So his family lived in a duplex. They own the whole thing. They're running out the other half to a man his wife and his three kids and he was cool and they were black so I loved going over there and hang out with them because I just felt like myself around them. I remember her saying that. She just had things to tell me but she couldn't tell me because we were just honestly never allowed to leave the house so she got like a black light like a black light bulb on for her room and then she got a bunch of like glow in the dark pens and paper like black paper and was writing to me with these pens and paper that you can only see when the black light was in and we would just didn't her bed and she would tell me how much she loved the neighbor and how much she wished that you know he was married and she feels like he loves her too and this happened for months we would just go in her room and write back and forth about the neighbor and her like love for him a couple of months after we started talking about him. She started telling me that I. He kissed her when his wife wasn't around when she would be like. You know how Steve is if he finds out or my parents find out. It's going to be big trouble so I'd be okay. I'm not gonNA tell anybody I remember one night. She comes in and she's writing on the paper and she goes. I think I'm pregnant. Couple weeks went by and her parents were very controlling and so I remember her mom saying something along the lines of you haven't gotten your period. Take this pregnancy test immediately. I don't even think anyone knew that she was having sex. It was positive so the first thing that family does when they find out that she's pregnant. Is they fill up a bucket with bleach straight bleach. I don't even think there's water. It was like hot bleach and they took her to the basement. And said you have to clean this entire floor? Maybe if you inhale the bleach it will kill the baby. And we won't have to take you to the doctor to get an abortion. Steve was a Jehovah's witness his entire family. Mom And Dad's side where Jehovah's Witnesses and I don't think that coincides with the religion. Her hands were so blistered up. Pretty much bleeding from just dipping her hands in this bucket and scrubbing the floor and her crimes. Like I can't take the smell I feel like I'm gonNA pass out on. My hands are burning and I think after about an hour. They're like all right. It's fine I think. Two weeks later. They made her pianist again as if that actually caused her to miscarry or something. She was obviously still very pregnant. The next step was just okay. She's got again abortion so I remember him telling my mom on not going to the doctor with her so you have to take it again. Abortion you're going to take her to get this abortion so a few weeks. After that made the appointment we drove about an hour and a half away and she went in to get the abortion and I remember saying in the car and her coming out crying saying that she was already six months pregnant and that she couldn't get an abortion and then the whole story kind of came out that this man who was about twenty three maybe twenty four or even impregnated this fifteen sixteen year old girl. He was then kicked out of the House next door and world war three broke out in the House that night and I just remember thinking like this. All make sense the way that they're treating her the way that they're treating each other makes me totally understand why he is the way he is. She ended up having the baby but I remember that being such a pivotal time in my life realizing this family is just as bat. Shit crazy as he is. I remember when they said we were moving. Specifically the House that we found was about an hour away from my family an hour away from his family we had one neighbor Cross Street and one neighbor to the to the left of the house and I remember thinking. Okay we'll even though it's really far to get here at least there's neighbors here. I remember moving into the House and immediately it felt like as cold as he was that he kind of just got colder. Sorry member unpacking everything and I remember him pulling out a gun like we're packing and it was not a little handgun but it looked like a shotgun was long as brown and it was really intimidating looking and I remember him just placing it in the middle of the dining room table. It always stayed in plain sight so when he and my mom would argue in this House. Something would always tell me like. Let me. Just make sure this gun is always in the dining room so always create pass their room down the stairs and just literally peak over the staircase and just make sure it was there any time I was there I felt like I was okay and things were okay. I was going into fifth grade. Having to me new friends and also having this anxiety of what's going on at home and not really wanting my pearson. What was going on at home. My Mom's so had her job in the other town once. We moved so when she had to go to work she then had to drive an hour an hour back which means she was home even less than I was with him even more so the more time we spent together just the two of us as he quote unquote was watching me which mostly consisted of him being belligerently drunk working in the shed. And then telling me to get in the car and go somewhere with him as he was what I would consider now blacked out drunk. I remember always saying no. It's okay I would rather just say when he can't see home alone and I gotta go do this. So you've gotta come anywhere we went. We'd go down these long winding roads. That were kind of dark all the time and I had no clue what direction we're going in because it all just kind of look the same. The Woods he was drunk he was drinking while driving. Beer cannon his hand he's shuts off the lights in his truck and just starts flooring it down this winding road and he was like I know where I'm going like watch this like we're not hitting anything but I'm already anxiety ridden as a child enough and now I'm going to pitch by Pitch Black Road. And he is speeding down this road basically saying if we die we die no regard for my life no regard for his own life and I just remember praying so hard saying like I really don't WanNa die but also having this calm feeling like I have no control over this. I can't stick up for myself to this man. I'm too scared of him so if I do die it's Okay. I remember telling myself it's okay if you die like it's Okay. It's okay if you die. Those are the types of things that would happen when my mom was at work and I didn't tell her I don't even think to this day. I've told her about all of these things that would happen because I never wanted to betray him. I never wanted him to hurt me physically. He was already hurting me enough by hurting my mom and putting me through all of these things so I just I just really never wanted to turn my back on him. I had so much loyalty to him and that was out of fear. Obviously maybe it was a few nights after that my mom came home and he was really drunk and just started screaming her as soon as she got out of the car. I remember they were outside in the garage and she was. He was just screaming her and she was like listen. I just got home from work. I don't have the energy to do this. My mom was exhausted all the time they came inside they're fighting he was. I was downstairs and before I can even make it up the stairs. I'm by the refrigerator and he's shoving her into cabinets so remember being okay. This is the night he is so drunk. I don't even think he knows what he's doing and he will not stop hitting her same thing happened there physically fining he gets in the shower. My mom comes upstairs and goes. We're leaving pack a small bag and let's get in the car and go we get in the car. Bomb starts the car his remember her moving so slow and I just remember saying hurry up like I never met my mom but this night I was yelling at my mom. Like start the car back up. What are you doing like? We've gotta go. He comes running out and about tell goes behind the carton pulls some type of wire. I don't know if he had this planned. Or he rigged this up as soon as he pulled out. Wire the car shut off and we just had no way out just thinking. Wow like this was our chance and being so mad at my mom's saying you blew this. You did not move fast enough now. This night is going to get even worse. I'm told me to take my bag and go to the neighbor's house which one of my friends lived there with her grandparents. And saying you know. I'm really scared to go home. My Mom said I can come sleep here. Is it okay. They allowed me to sleep there. The I'm forever thankful for so I'm am not exactly sure what went on that night so he went to school the next morning and I go home and she has dinner waiting and he's in the living room watching TV. Everything is so normal. There's broken glass everywhere yet again. And there's like dense in the wooden cabinets cracks in the wooden cabinets. There's dents in the wall mind you. This was a brand new house that we moved into. I just remembered knowing that something so bad happen and that same night them arguing again in me being in my room and him coming to my room and saying if I kill your mom I'm going to have to kill you too because you'll never shut up. You'll never stop crying and I can't live with that. I can't hear you crying every day. So if I kill your mom if she makes me so mad that I have to kill her? Just know that I'm going to have to kill you too. I immediately felt responsible for her life. I don't think he wants to kill me at this point. I don't think that's his goal is to kill any child and I felt like if I wasn't around then maybe he would kill her. I would spend a lot of time at my grandparents house the summer after we moved into the house and the town that was about an hour away and I remember that being one of the worst experiences of my life. One of the worst summers of my life is just. I would call and my mom would get home late from work. So it's you know given that she would sleep late but every morning when I would wake up around nine. Am I would call him on. And if she didn't answer I would just start pacing and having streaming site attacks. Okay she's dead and he code her. Because I wasn't there if I was there he wouldn't have killed her and this was five days a week for three months of the summer. This changed my life drastically because I would spend a lot of times going to my grandparents house or spend a lot of time at friends houses and at that point. I just stopped because I then fell if I was home. Shore he might beat her up or things could get really bad but I don't think that he's going to kill her if I'm there. Because then he has a bigger decision to make. I had to put myself in this horrible situation in order for my mom to make it out alive. Luckily during this era my life I met my best friend who is still my friend to this day. She was going through something really tragic. She had just lost her mother a couple of weeks before we even became friends. I remember telling her everything that had been going on in just feeling like so much lighter like wow. I finally have someone I can confide in. Who's not going to judge me or my mom chewing environment to sleepover. And sometimes I would be scared to leave the house or sometimes I'd WanNa leave the house. She would begin sleeping over my house a lot and mostly because she didn't want me to be alone and she knew that I was scared to leave my house and she witnessed some horrific things but I always felt so secure when she was there. So it Kinda just was a huge security blanket for me. She saved my life and a lot of ways and helped me also saved my mom's life the town that we move to was a predominantly black town now. I was starting in a new school and I was making a lot of new friends. And it was a predominantly black town and so a lot of my friends are black. Had this one friend he was a. It was a little boy. The boy my age route ten years old. We were best friends. We hit it off immediately. He also live down the street. My Mom pick him up from school in Dane saying hey look. I really want to hang out with him and I was so excited. That me and my new firm. We're GONNA hang around MOM'S GONNA go get ice cream so we went to get ice cream with my friends. Just me my mom and on the way back now remember. Steve was outside and was like well. Where were you and I was just frozen. I didn't know what to say. I didn't WANNA lie. 'cause I was very scared of lying to him after. He told me what could potentially happen to me. If I lied and I said well my friend and I named him came with me to get ice cream. I why she asked was. What does he look like? Is he black and I was like yes. He's black and he's got braids and he's my best friend one of my best friends and then it was just him screaming at my mom saying that. I her black child was not allowed to hang out with these people and was just like dropping the end bomb and making me feel so bad for something that I felt so good about and I was just so ashamed that I kind of sold out my mom and now she's going to have to pay these consequences tonight and I had a good friend and now I'm not going to be able to hang out with this rent anymore. That night was pretty terrible. I just remember him dropping the end bump all night to me and my mom hurt me so bad and then saying I wasn't allowed to hang out with those types of people anymore and I was so confused because I was that type of person. It just really confused me after. I thought I was making a lot of personal growth as far as spilling okay. My own skin on one end of the spectrum like I'm living this hellish life where I feel like I'm being tortured in my own home. If I say I'm walking on eggshells by say wrong thing. If I do something wrong if I cry everything is wrong. Everything that I do is wrong and whatever I do wrong. He is not going to physically harm me. But my mom is going to pay for all of my wrongdoings so in the House I was a quiet passive. Shell of myself who showed no personality. I was just like a soldier like anything anyone needed. Yes sir no problem. I didn't show any type of motion in the house. When I went to school I was able to be myself and so all the quiet that I was going home. All the silence. I let out at school in front of people who accepted me when I was around. People I wanted to be myself with I was full out myself. Like unapologetically me the second. I stepped into the House. I was a different human. I think I was feeling a lot of resentment against my family. Even though they didn't know what was going on but no one ever asked no one ever said like. Hey how's living with Steve? No one ever said. Does he treat you? Well does trigger mom well and the one person who I expected to ask was my air because we are so close and another person. I always hoped would ask is my biological father when I would talk to him. Maybe once a year I would just be hoping he would say like so how Steve like. Do you like living the good to you and I could finally just let everything up you. Think of your data's like the Superhero and I would think maybe he would finally become a dad to me and want to protect me from the situation but he never asked. My family really never happened. I guess that's just because like I said the second. I stepped out of this house. I wasn't sad I was really never sat. I was always happy so I guess there wasn't really any warning signs. I felt really betrayed by my family for a long time and it really was not their fault. I was just scared if I said something that they would take me away from my mom which would also ultimately mean that. I was not there to protect turning more as I got a little older. Um and headed into middle school this is when I started becoming a little more ashamed and embarrassed of it and I just stopped talking about it publicly so now. I'm really in this by myself. I'm in this by myself. The more that I talk or the more that voice my opinion my mom is getting the wrath of all of this. I truly didn't know where to go from here like. Do I keep expressing my opinions? Now that I'm older and not as scared of this person or do I just be mute like I have been and I remember talking to my mom about it and I remember giving her an ultimatum at this point saying if you stay with him. I'm moving out. I'm switching schools and I don't WanNa talk to. You always knew that. Maybe if I did she would choose me a couple of weeks. After that. He went back to jail for suspended license. Or something along those lines and he was gone for a good four or five months at that point in. Let me just tell you those four or five months worth of my life and I remember telling her lake. Do you feel happy. Like dozen this feel good and she was like it does feel good and I said well what's going to happen in two or three months when he comes home and I think that conversation was what change in her because we ended up looking for houses to rent and before he got jail we ended up moving out and when I say moving out. I don't mean we moved our way. We actually moved a couple of blocks away but I felt like as long as we were out of the House and had doors to lock that he did not have the keys to then we would be. We would be safe. I don't think that he knew for a while that we were living so close but the day that he found out he came to the front of the House and she obviously wouldn't let him inside. I don't think he ever came inside of our new house. And he was outside of her window on the ground low-floor screaming like I can't have you no one can have you and I'll kill you if you're with anybody else. It went from the anxiety of living with someone who I always felt like could kill us at any second to then living down the street from someone who I knew could kill us at any second. I really don't know what anxiety or which was worse being able to watch his every move and be able to like plan in. No He's thinking or not being able to for about a year. We were getting threatened by him coming to the house calling. It didn't feel we were away for a long time. Being away from him was just a completely different anxiety than it was being with him. I didn't have the nervous tics of asking. Are you and save? Okay are you on Steve. Okay that stopped but I didn't sleep for a year straight. I would only sleep when the sun was up. I didn't trust my mom. I really didn't trust her. My anxiety about her lying was hard. I would panic attacks anytime I hear anything. Outside of my window immediately would have a panic attack. I would sleep with a knife under my pillow being so deprived from sleep of because of fear. Makes you think really crazy things. So at this point I was like well. Maybe if I killed him I he couldn't kill us or like I would think like. I know where the gun is in the house like I could easily go in there one night and hope that he's drunk and literally kill him and then. I would have to worry about this anymore. Obviously I didn't do it. I wouldn't do that but I feel like he killed the child in me. He killed any relationship that me and my mom had a chance of having during that time of my life and I felt like he deserved a lot of bad things to happen to him but everyone in his life with scared of him so no one stood up for him. No one ever told him what he was doing was wrong. Ever I remember my grandfather passed away like maybe I was sixteen or seventeen and this was three or four years after everything had ended. We haven't really heard from him or anything and him showing up at my grandfather's funeral and at this point in time I was disclosing a few things here and there to my aunt who I was extremely close with and so she knew When he showed up we both kind of dislike blacked out and just wanted to attack him like we kind of like ran over to him in link it was kind of like a what could have been. Abroa- emigrants funeral. But it wasn't. He left now is the last time I've seen him even after years of them. Not being together I think jus- just living with that fear constantly and just having anxiety about the unknown. The unknown was always what scared me most. Because when you're living in it and you're living you're seeing these things happened there happening. There's nothing you can do about that. But I became obsessed with the idea of control my earliest memories as a child. Fear and anxiety. I was obsessed with being able to control the situation. I was never able to control the situation and that would drive me crazy. That unknown just haunted me and it's still does like when I don't know things when I don't feel like I'm in control of something now. I get so anxious because I always need a plan. A Plan B. and Plan C. And obviously that comes from those times of my life. I remember being so scared that everyone in my life was lying to me so I remember having a friend we talk on the phone all the time I remember one day we were talking about nothing on the phone and I said. Please don't ever pretend to be my friend if you're my friend and she was like what do you mean? Please don't pretend to be my friend. My friend just say it like you don't have to call me and we don't have to talk on the phone and pretend to be best friends and she was so thrown off by that and I would say it all the time like we would be having fun. It'd be like are you having fun or are you sure you're having fun little things like that and even my relationships today and I remember bringing these nervous tics into my past relationships in being like are you happy like is everything okay and that was the equivalent of are you in Steve. Okay for me like if I thought like things were bad. I'd be like are you happy. Are Things okay or soon as I found myself doing that I went and got therapy therapy because that was something I did not want to do. I did not want to be this person anymore. Now is the first time in my life. I was like I need serious help because I'm still doing these things that I used to do when I was six years old and now I'm twenty at the time. Twenty two years old asking my boyfriend ten times an hour. Is he going to hurt me? Are Things Okay. Even when things were okay so as the years kind of just went on. I found myself being twenty two years old in a very toxic relationship and it wasn't toxic in the way that my mom and Steve's relationship was but I found myself being okay with a lot of things that prior to the relationship. I would say all the time. I'm not going to stand for that. And my mom put up with all this stuff. I would never be like her and then reality hits and that's all you're accustomed to you put up with a lot of things that you said you would never put up with him and I were friends for a very long time and I felt comfortable with him so when we started to pursue a romantic relationship it was like he wanted to protect me. He he knew everything that I went through. And he thought that that was crazy. And thought you know we're GonNa Change this you know we're GonNa have a strong healthy relationship because he also had a pretty rough upbringing where we're going to be that change we're GonNa get married one day and have kids and be like these great parents or children to deal with stuff like we did and all these promises in the beginning obviously and then I almost feel like me being so vulnerable with him allowed him to take advantage of all of my weaknesses. I've never had a man in my life. Love me this way or choose me or want to protect me. So as long as he was showing me love and choosing me and quote unquote protecting me. Thinking thought anything else he can just get away with and I would always be there and that was the case for a long time. There has infidelities after infidelities lying after lying after I had said many times. Like you know it upsets people but for me. It upsets me more than the average person would assume. And when I wasn't with this person I would feel physically ill because I know that this is not the right situation for me to be in but I didn't know how to get out I couldn't get it was an addiction and I like to think that's how my mom felt with Steve that it was just an addiction that she couldn't let go. I was started defending him defending his behavior to my friends when they would say. You'RE NOT BEING YOURSELF. You've gotta gotta the situation. I'd be like you know what is really not that bad. You guys don't know him when I would hear myself saying those things I would hear. My Mom's saying those things and that was frightening. I just remember saying I'm just like my mom like I am going to be just like mom if I don't get out of this situation and I stayed in that situation for four years. There is a really big incident that happened at the top of the air where it was just total betrayal of trust. I found myself depressed going to the doctors taking a month off of work because I couldn't get out of bed. I developed Vertigo. I think from my anxiety messing with my brain running into walls. I wasn't okay. I almost feel like I was addicted to trauma. Drama and fear pain like growing up. That's all I saw. This is just what life is and if things were going to well. It didn't feel right like I was actually happy and we were having good week in my relationship. Things did not feel right and I was just kind of chasing the high of the drama and just like well maybe if we I that means he cares. Things are going well now. Did He stop caring about me? He doesn't fight with me he doesn't WanNa do any like it was just so toxic. Obviously I know that trauma and drama and manipulation is not love and it's not something anybody should be used to but I don't think when you go through those things you know that until you actually have a streak in your life without those things. I don't think in my life I've ever lived like a full month without shit hitting the fan or being scared of something and so when I wiped my hands clean of my last relationship that was kind of a vow to myself that I'm creating my own normal now like this is my new normal and the past seven. Eight months of my life. Free of that drama have been the best times of my life my grandmother. My Mom's mother has also had a past of being in toxic relationships. I mean my mom saw migrant mother getting beat by this man and I guess when that started playing out in her own life she was also very tolerant to it try to like break these generational curses and just do better for yourself. But I truly don't think that's possible without getting help. I've never been so scared of myself. Then I wasn't therapy just scared knowing that I literally have the power to change all of this and to not be like my mom and when I think about the things that I that I maybe dislike about her or the things that she's done in the past their direct reflection of things that I don't like about myself and that's something that the therapist helped me with. I just wish that my momma the same health than I got my hopes and wishes for myself personally are to just give myself the love and respect and loyalty to my own happiness that I feel like a lot of people in my life having given me but to also in the future raise a family. That doesn't have to go to therapy and talk about their traumatic childhood. I just want my future children to have the complete opposite upbringing than I have. I want to be free of the story and this traumatic part of my life. I WanNa just start over. I WANNA start a new life for myself. Ooh today's episode featured Arielle Hermansen. You can find her on twitter and Instagram. At a R. I J B L I G. This is actually happening is brought to you by me. Witness sign. If you love what we do you can join the community on our official instagram page. At actually happening you can also rate and review the show on itunes which helps tremendously to boost visibility to a larger community of listeners. And if you want to help sustain the show for the coming years you can contribute a small monthly donation to our Patriot on page at Patriotair Dot com slash happening. Thank you for listening until next time stay tuned.

Steve This Madison Reed Madison Dash Reed Dot Com facebook Madison clarice Fortune Tellers US Stephen football D. Wise Point Amazon stabile sooners UN
Special Look | The Mandalorian, Raya and the Last Dragon, & Animaniacs

Trailer Junkies Podcast

1:00:56 hr | 4 months ago

Special Look | The Mandalorian, Raya and the Last Dragon, & Animaniacs

"So I'm like all right. I'll put this on, and of course, the boys are walking through the room now. I wasn't expecting a nut sack. Shot. A very poorly. poorly pixelated. Yeah it was. I didn't expect that at all. In a world where you only have trailers posters to judge a movie Jim Ted strikeout to answer the age old question. Will you see it? Good Evening Ted another Friday night for episode one, thirty, five, we have some beer we as trailers we have some week we have some watching. What's going on with you right now other than talking to me other than talking to you. Always. One of my highlights of the week. Yeah. Likewise, it was an eventful workweek. I think we're just you know just pound out some year end stuff I know the year ended like a month ago. But still okay. So you work in the TV kind of media space or whatever when you say the year ended yes. You're more like is there like a fiscal year for you guys or what do you mean? Exactly? Yeah. The fiscal year ends at the end of September I think generally speaking October I is is the beginning of. The fiscal year now is that because of the way the networks do seasons and stuff I, don't know whether it comes from television or the parks or I don't even know I wouldn't. I wouldn't know why it is the way that it is I don't know whether it's a media thing or whether it's a Disney thing, our other networks on the same fiscal year as you guys or I think they are. But I you know it's a chicken and egg thing I don't know which came first and who's who's driving what you know. So it's hard to say, you got to go back to late nineteen, thirty one or something to figure it out. No need for that kind of time travel. I so for the past seven weeks, I'm dead last place in both my fantasy football league she's. And I. Think the only reason I wanted to invent time travel is to fix my fantasy football. Because that. Most lame thing. I was like I just WanNa fix I just wanted to travel through time. You know just go back a year and figure this stuff out because I'm just sucking so bad last week just made me so mad I had it's fantasy talk with Jimmy. But, had fitzpatrick for Miami starting that guy was horrible and then Jim I have Matt Ryan Sitting on the bench. He blows up. He's been doing nothing and then puts up forty two points or I'm just like really. That's why that's why stay away for Matt. Ryan because he's just feast famine and you never know when he's GonNa Prescott was my man that guy was crushing it until he breaks his leg got crushed. Yeah, I mean. God. This is all this is all better. Talk Post Beer opening. So yellow. Okay. Go ahead what he got no no no I think you go first you want me to go first I want you to I. Remember that Song when you were a kid, the wheels on the bus, go round and round well, I have the wheel I don't know I. Don't know that we have the rights say that don't say. That require rates. But I have a wheels on the bus IE PGA. It's a double lie. ooh What's that? It's like a wail on like swimming in the bus. Yeah. It's. It's well, it's ten point two percent ABC ice. Oh, it says a double hop triple APA. Humble Sea brewery out of Santa Cruz California. So it's a six Oh. Wow. Holy Moly. Does that sound smell? Amazing. Nice. Oh, it's hazy to. Double, that's what the is not double hop double heyzer something tumble hazy cow I didn't expect a hazy not even a fan. o out smell so good though DVD age what do you think the Hayes is inconsequential Y-. What do you think dede? Double. Double Dry hopped dry hopped. Maybe that's it. Yeah. No Double D d. h fused triple Ip. Double. Dry Hazy. Whatever But the aroma. Oh, it's. So it's like a Gr-. Cut Open a grapefruit Nice Oh. Wow. It tastes nothing like a grapefruit though it's really good. Awesome. It looks like milk look at this thing I know it's crazy. That's cool. I think we said it before but what we said it before hazy doesn't really matter. It's all about the taste in the complexity in the nose and everything. Yeah. I mean sometimes hazy bothers me because maybe it's just the way the the HASE's I've had but there sometimes they come across as like super fruity citrusy and those are. The ones they don't like, but this is really good I mean it's it's bitter. It's sweet, but it doesn't have that lake. I mean it smells like a grapefruit. It tastes nothing like a grapefruit which I be is on it doesn't say it doesn't say I wish it did like I said though ten point two percent ab so I don't know are we are we in a war? Tonight is Is this an arms race or now? No I didn't I. It's not arms race you one pans down. Okay. I actually got a couple beers wife I got I found a new place in the valley I figured not going to go all the way to Burbank every time I wanNA beer a couple of beers or for a couple of weeks. I said, let me let me look up something. That's close. By you know something I can go to who a mistress that's open in and we found this place. On the side and right at the corner of I think it's van is in Ventura. It's called Valley Beverage Company and I call them just make sure they're open. They're like we've been through the whole thing. Don't worry about it. Come on in I was like Oh gotta wear a lot of beer gotta wear a mask and gloves and they're they don't sound like they care about the current. That's. but I went in there and man, they were just like stock to the Gills, their boxes in front of shelves I. And it's just like an and the and the people in there were all crema there all pissed off they're like, yeah they want somebody to shopping there who's like a regular and he's like, can I dig through your boxes and he was in the other people that were pissed like sure bless I to stock. You know we got this is why we're going to be here all night. And I'd like share you're going to be all night with your book the beer that you're stocking that you're gonna let go away and they these cool little signs on the on the shelf and they're like limit one and then it's a really long sign it says limit one okay. Limit too and this has never mind limit one in easily and he's like okay you can have to. Go. Like this mental man, you know mental gymnastics sign and it's so funny. It's like if I want to buy beer I wanNA buy beer who cares how many guys are selling making money off. No it's hilarious. It was funny. So. I one of the one of the reasons this guy that was irregular open the box. ooh I see that mind circus in there and I was like Oh was that good like oh? Yeah. It's a Russian river and he said you know people leave the pliny's behind but this stuff flies off the shelf really I said and I said, well, it's GonNa fly out of the box because out of a case you just sold to without even stocking it. So there you go two weeks in a row we referenced Pliny the elder. It is a, it is a very known quantity there. Oh, pliny's great. So this is what is it called again mind it's called hold on me. Mine. Circus M I N. D mind like in your head. Okay. CHOSE CHOSE LIKE A. Crazy circus tent coming out of this guy's head holy cow. So wait your beer is going to put your head in a circus and the wheels on the bus. Mean my head's GonNa be going around and round Oh. Wow. Like just like you said, yours, this is like a fruit forward a citrus feel citrus smell knows. Okay. Okay. Is Yours hazy hazy to very hazy while they look identical? This is a weird yeah. Yeah Beautiful Crisp. I May I? Sometimes read as and sometimes you don't. But this one has a cool quote on it. It says this beer acknowledges everything keeps us up at night maybe it's work the kids a project you've been processing. Or. Building a brewery we all have our own versions of the mind circus. I would read mind, but it's they one point font so I can't see it anyway. And then mine is seven point seven percent. I would say seven is respectable. Yeah six six is okay. So during the week, I had to see what all the fuss was about. So I got some course banquet. Was that was that from Cobra Kai Oh product placement worked on me I mean Cobra Kai, he pounds so many banquets can I say though? I think I had like seven of them one night. I was just like I might have start at three in the afternoon I got home from work, and I'm just like I'm just going to have what boom boom boom because what we did was we you know I boil typically when I make bratwurst, they boil the brought worst in pbr man I thought I saw the cores there and I'm like you know what I'm mix it up I'm GonNa, get some course banquet and see what Cobra Kai has to say about it. Kick the competition kick the competition in the liver. So I made my brought worse as I'm cooking brought worst drink the course banquet and man they go down way too easy like I said I think I had like seven one night you know. Yeah. But here's the thing they're like, i. don't even know what they are but they're not ten percent. I could tell you that because like by the time I was finished I'm like I'm okay I'm slightly buzz. You know and I'm like there's no wonder Janis pound and they're just they go down to easy. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Maybe some problems up drinking seven cores but. So other than like doom bratwurst and stuff what you've been up to this week. So this week it was, it was interesting. I think just a little peek behind the curtain. You typically edit right and I said let me you know let me edit have the new space in. Days and the evening. So I did I did the edit this week and man like it's been a long time since I've done that because you took over the early on and you've done such an amazing job at it but I think anybody that has a podcast if you split work and labor like that, definitely try it like once I was thinking for me which which asked Jimmy to edit and maybe idea once a quarter. Once every four or five months like give me an episode. To Labor over and then you can go clean it up with your with your high Falutin logic and all that stuff logic to they just sent me a survey. I said like, okay. This is what I would love to see in it because they were. So you've been using it and you know what's your opinion? What would you like? I, put in my wishlist essentially I just typed what what I wanted and I told them about it and stuff and how I use it and I would say I could probably plow through an episode in about two hours two and a half hours. Wow. And for a few reasons, a lot of it is like the keyboard shortcuts and I can run it. You know like at a fast rate. When I say I've rented fast right I mean I can run it at lake twice the speed you listen to to ex exactly. Yeah. Typically one, point seven, five or something. But the main thing is though I've after all these hundred say twenty five episodes. Let's say of editing. Yeah I. Have our quirks down so well that I. can edit without even listening because I know what are sound waves look like our way file? Wow, that's a flex. So I'm looking at it and I'm just like Bam Bam I just go through I. Do the initial edit. I don't even listen to it. I just plow through based on visuals and I move everything around how it needs to be. And then I go through and listen to like one point five, one, point seven, five, whatever and I just do a quick cleanup. And it's like I mean, you're talking like a two hour twenty episode for example I probably get done in like two and a half and I'm done. Wow you know and they turn out good every week you know it's amazing. When you do visual cut on the first one and you're cutting out our ticks and stuff some of them, not all of them because I. definitely hear my stuff sometimes but. Yeah I think it's amazing because I was laboring over the strangest things. In your head sometimes and you're like Oh should I cut out this little pause the second of dead air or is it may be It shows that we're thinking about something. Just like Wade said way too long like impose contemplating these kinds of things. Here's the funny thing though it's like some of the little quirks before every sentence I almost say so. So I don't know how many times it cut out. So a thing you do before you speak a lot is you always like smack your lips you always go. That's you. Cutting, those things out because like it just drives everybody. Crazy. And I say like a lot of a man who I cut out a ton of likes. So it's pretty funny though when you go through it and you do these edits and it and it gets to the point where if I didn't cut it out and cramped together and move things around and make it flow well. God, it would be torturous to listen to us. and. Then we stop and really what's The guy? He's got the beard. The guy with the forehead wrinkles. We sit there. We contemplate stuff for like ten minutes trying to figure out a character's name. Yeah. An actor's name I guess and then it's like but when you listen to it like it's just Like we're just on it. So. They'll give all of our secrets. I'd album people. You know it's the magic of editing, right? Yeah. Remember one time when I was at Warner Brothers with my cousin and the sound engineer dude was taken us on a tour. He was shown us to Foley Room he was showing us like all kinds of stuff they do and he said they do fully for everything I'm like everything you know somebody's brushing their teeth fully he Said everything because he got to remember the movies are larger than life and just like yeah, I. Guess. So now I watch movies and I see the most mundane shit and I'm like that had to have been done in the Foley. It's incredible. So when you think about like editing and all that stuff flake yeah nothing's real. You know what I mean yeah. I mean Hell Look at our uh Like other videos and youtube about elections and stuff the end there's a Lotta. There's a lot of deep fake out there the fakes. Yeah. That's what you call it. The deep fakes, the fake news stuff whatever you WANNA call it, and you're just like this is awful. It's too easy with Cova. They had the WHO who has live sports ad campaign where they've. saquon Barkley. Baker Mayfield but they just have their heads on somebody else's body and they kind of make fun of it like these skinny people running around and. I'm deep fake saquon Barkley. So that was my week basically was trying to muddle through something in an handed off to you and you're like I just need it up. Thank you. But what was your week you did? That was just about the beer, but you know I mean honestly it was a really slow week as far as the excitement in my life. So but I put have you ever used flux Computer now, what does that it sets up your computer? So if you're having a hard time sleeping, for example, it might be that there's too much blue light before bedtime. So you put it on your computer and if you're working late, it adjusts based on sunset and changes the color of your computer screen. So like the later you work the rhetoric gets and everything and like right now you're like blood red, it's almost annoying. It doesn't even look real. So I'm going to have to turn it is better for your eyes though well, it's not that it's better for your eyes it's better for your brain. Okay. So the blue lay keeps you alert you know what I mean. So it's like my blue light for a on a computer screen would be like sunlight. It's like, Oh, it's daytime I need to be awake, and then when you go to bed, it's hard to fall asleep. So what this does is if you're working late on the computer whatever you're doing, it adjusts the light to the point where your your brain recognizes that it's getting sleepy and needs to go to bed and it doesn't keep you at that heightened state of alertness so I put that on. The funny thing about it is never on my computer pass like seven. So the point is. For except podcasting for podcasting right now, I, got turn it off because Like I said, you'd like blood orange. Now I put it on my computer like years ago and they didn't like it and I thought maybe I'll try it again and it's it's bizarre looking because of the color it's Kinda like when you look at Golden Hour as the Sun's going down Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's how your computer screen looks. You know like a Sepia tone. Kind of yeah. That's a good way to put it. But I don't know. We'll see if I find I get better if I get more restful sleep then. We'll highly recommend. Still, out. But other than that excitement. Really have a whole. Oh no I take that back. Here it is dropping off the boys one morning we ever cargo bikes. So I hop on highway one going up the hill you know the highway when people take vacations on right when they want to go up the coast yes. Where you clean up trash last week exactly. So I'm going to away one I'm like man back wheel I feel a little squishy in the rare and Mike and looked down I'm like I'm cool. I'm about three quarters a mile from the offramp and I'm going up the hill. I just had turbo went for it had a flat sounds like, oh, man. So I got to the point the wheel, the tires coming off. The tube was wrapped around the rotor and everything because I tried. So finally I have to hop off and I walk it all the way up the off ramp, and there's like a hotel that's being renovated. So I pulled in the parking lot of calcareous and she's about to leave for work and I've saved her for flat tires like three or four times already. So I said clarice got a flat. You gotta come save me and they got arrested me go in the in the shop and grab like these tools and the pump and blah blah. Blah Blah so she gets all this stuff. She leaves. She's. I mean what? Ten minutes away I'm not far from home. Everything's closed. Everything's close exactly but she rides over you know like. Some hilly rea rural of road and she catches up to me and she you know I don't know twenty minutes later like regular road bike I could probably have a change in three. No big deal. But this is like a cargo bike got to unbolt this I. got a mess around. It's it's a pain in the butt. You know so I, said, you know why don't you call work tell me might be a little. Bit, late so she calls work and it's no big deal. So we get all set up and I was I was on my way to the office and I'm like, screw it man like all these problems arose on top of that. Why went straight home I work from home that day yeah. Yeah. Man. It was like a flat tire and a cargo bike I mean, those bikes are amazing until you get a flat tire. I got a flat tire this week too. That's funny on my on my bike that I ride with bryce every morning and on was it Wednesday or Thursday. Morning a flat and I was just like how far from home were you? We only only do a couple miles. So we are mile mile out well, a couple of miles on foot though that sucks no no, I just wrote it back. I was like Oh. Okay. I was like. You know it was it was like losing air as we can. We can. We can make sure whatever and by the time we got back. It was like it was just flat and I was like, Oh, I hope I. Don't hit the Rim you know. So yeah, just kind of. I kind of leaned forward onto by good tire just to take some weight off of it, and of course, you know you can't take. It's only two tires was UNICYCLING homer. Did you figure out what caused the flatly Naylor something now I have no idea. Yeah. No idea. Yeah I. mean those tubes are old. So whatever all right man well, Hey, I'll tell you what so me and it's a little bit of what we're watching but no big. We've already watched it. So we're finishing up the man delorean. Oh Yeah. Yeah. With the boys in the fan because the second season's coming out and we have a special look at the mandatory and Disney plus what you sent me the trailer and the trailer. Yes. It's called special look, but it's a trailer right? The special special look right we talked about the mandatory and season to an episode one thirty. So. Watching the special look tonight, I. Don't really see. It's like a watered down version of the trailer. What am I missing I don't I thought it was I thought it was new or are you just teasing for season two coming out I? Was I was hype for Season Two. I thought it was it was new it was new to the space. It definitely had a lot of what had had a what the trailer had felt like it had it showed more but maybe I'm wrong we can. We can. We can compare the trailer was like to forty or something. This is one minute. Okay. So can't show more. Well. If it's different stuff, it can show well different stuff. Yeah. It showed a lot of the same not because I I went back and I watched it. Otherwise I would say the the official trailer is very trailer like. Very trailer esque it shows the beginning and it's like it has the ship. Mando ship there's no speaking and everything I think the special look jumps into it and I think it's just a marketing piece to just hype what's coming next weekend the thirtieth that it that it's so it's coming right around the corner and it's funny. You guys were watching rewatching right? We are yeah. Yeah we're we're in the middle rewatching it as well. So okay about five episodes in and we're GONNA probably plow through the rest of it this weekend. Yeah. We just finished episode seven. We'll be done by the weekend too. So I guess I just maybe you're right I just saw this thought it was new and I guess my my my fishline. My goldfish like memory was like is this brand new because it just hit like star wars dot com or who makes the star wars on Youtube well, here's the funny thing. So clarice was saying because they show Carl weathers and Gina. What's her name I don't remember yeah. MMA Gina. Yeah. The wrestler woman and they have the scene where they're like walking. Yeah and courses like no see that scene wasn't there. I'm like, yes, it was. So we went back and we watched the trailer and that shows that scene because she said Oh no, she still on that island or the island planet or whatever, and said the exact same thing that's hilarious. Yeah and I said no, it's on the trailer. Watch the trailer and that scene in the trailer too. so that's crazy nothing really is nothing new and that's and that's one of them that that an identified as something new and I thought I, thought I definitely thought it was new I didn't do side by side. So yeah. was was the was the ship in distress in the trailer, yeah? Okay because. It was flying over the planet showed one of his jets flickering out. Yeah and the doors opened the bay doors open and the jets flickering and I was like I I don't I don't recall that original. Okay. So I'm just a bad. It's coming out in a week and it's like, Hey, from a marketing standpoint, like let's get excited here comes. Yeah. Yeah and I think it works I guess that that people people are clamoring people need this right now. So that's right. I know I'm excited I'm excited. So we to interro talking dragons. Yes i. know this is new. Well, this is new. Yes. Ray in the last dragon I mean once you had Clarisa Dragon. So. What I was wondering though I don't know of the opening of this trailer is such that it's Cova compliance. Because he has the mask and everything and it's like sending the message to kids like Massar. Cool. It's the thing we're doing nowadays because it starts off the first scene of her phases with the mask. But then she sees the roly-poly takes the mascot turns into a mass coal and it's like. What if the really poly get Kovin Well, you actually get really pull you get if you ate the roly poly raw, that's that's how you get the Kobe. That works. Yeah. It's cool. We're a mask I. Guess I think it's cool that you know it kind of missed. You know I was hoping it would not out until March of next year and supposedly in the theaters they are that they're saying they're just hoping and betting and hoping for the best but I think they're ready for next Halloween if there's Pleased to God say by next Halloween, we're out of this but if we're nine okay then we have the, we have the number one costume for the season with. Rayo with her mask. Well can I say something though about like if you go back to the early days of trailer Junkies yes, we would do movies that came out. Well, I should say we would do trailers for movies that were coming out six, eight, ten, twelve months lead time only in the corona virus time with all the streaming stuff. Are we lead times of two weeks? Raya in the last dragon is like. The way it ought to be feels like it's the prop the proper timeline the way typically otherwise would be I mean all this net flicks. Yes. The trailer drops next week the episodes out I mean like that's just modern day like trailer dropping I guess I don't know I just like last week when I said that. The the trial of the Chicago seven was already out where were shocked. Oh, yeah. We covered it and you're like, all right I watched it. I'm like wait we just covered it what he's. Yeah I'm used to like we covered it and then like nine months later Oh. Yeah. I watched that movie that we cover nine months ago you know. So I think might be well at least attempting to get back into that time frame that that time. Where the trailer drops rhythm rhythm and cadence of of anticipation and looking forward things exactly. You have the teaser trailer official trailer one trailer to maybe a trailer three, and then you know there's other things other marketing pieces that come out. Yeah. Nine months later there it is, and then maybe we watch ten or eleven months later, and it's like you're looking at a year lead time from when we talked about an episode. Fifty episodes of ours later. I saw that movie. And like. Heaven forbid we don't see it in the theater then it's another four months tack on top of that Oh. Yeah. You're talking like sixty five episodes later it's like we talk about it. It's like old. It's like way Old News for when we first brought it up you know. Overall. I mean I think the trailer looks good I mean it's it's the animation and you know the storytelling I think the trailer itself does a good job informing the potential audience of the story that they're going to see I mean it's I mean it's packed with you know. Action Anticipation and and and has this mystery to it. That is just like I. Think it's everything that movies used to be artery was kind of taken aback by the whole. The storytelling does in the beginning she felt like it was very frozen and then they had the Lexi cards in there with the from the people who brought you frozen and she goes see see and like. All right. All right. Little Jim Chill out. Her with your victory laps. With regard to frozen and everything I thought it's a typical Disney trailer. Where they the way they introduced lead character you have that strong female role Yeah. It does have that frozen vibe that Disney, vibe and you kind of beat me to the punch a little bit because when her head turns. That opening scene with the mask and everything. I mean, that's I think your your stereotypical Disney in an introduction to the to the lead role. Over and over and over again I mean, you've seen it in a Ladan and you've seen it in so many movies that you know that that Disney puts out but I think it works it works for him. It's like here's an induction. Here's the character, and then we're going to have the little like you know the silly character you're going to see the evolution of the silly character like in the case of the Roly poly and then at the end the. Enormous thing. Yeah and that's kind of like a WanNa think about Aladdin for example, you're looking at the parrot IAGO. And Poo Poo to Oh. Yeah exactly. Exactly. It's a total Disney trailer I mean it it it screams Disney. Where the Anna Maniacs. On its face looked Disney. It's not Disney now but let me back up about the week. Really quick. Yeah. Clarisa was laughing listening to our episode this week because. I was talking about how you know. I. Told you in the episode how I thought of Audrey when she was like guessing the the next line, right right I'm glad I'm glad curse listen to the whole thing because at the end. She? Yeah no number. One Fan. So she was laughing because she's like Oh you do do that every week to me every time we watch something you're always trying to guess line. Yeah. You're always you know and I'm like it's a bad habit my grandfather used to do that and I picked it up from him I. Guess. But Yeah. So she was laughing because I do that all the time and then she hears Audrey. Does that all the time and? And Yeah it was. It was pretty. It was pretty cute. Awesome. So Anna Maniacs and maniacs love it. What made you choose this one? Were you not I'm a huge maniacs fan. Okay. Can I say something about it tell me the today's the first night I heard about it when I watched the trailer, you've never heard of any of the original maniacs. No but I look up and I do one of these things go like Anna. Maniacs just to myself. Here's me across the house. She starts singing the theme song from the ninety. And I'm like you know the song like I was so surprised she said Oh. Yeah. I was a huge fan in the nineties I'm thinking the nineties. What. Yeah. So we watched it of course in the brownies will be satisfied. At the my little pony. Adult men fans. In their diapers. They show the Unicorn. I thought was brownies. Enough is enough talking talking more flabby flabby. Great, like the one line. And the liners that these these people come up with for the show is just. Insanely inventive in some of the funniest. That that I watched, as you know as a young adult because I guess you know it was not. We're not children at this time, but it wasn't made solely for children. It was one of these bridge shows that was like it was in the nineties, right so we're in highschool in college and stuff, and it was still for it was still you know in our wheelhouse so I don't know I'm surprised you missed it. You're a little bit older than Usmanov too much older. I might have been like on the back end for the age range or something but no, I never heard of it though I had no idea and she's singing the theme song. I like how it's that nineties show that. Twist but they bring in the modern day social media stuff the facebook look you know and all that sort of thing in the social media media twist and the social media media twist. Media whatever I'm saying there. But you know what the funny thing is. My first thought was I know I put this on here I meet a reboot Hulu. I keep saying I keep saying like too bad. It's on Hulu like I feel bad like I. I will never that big of a deal I'll never. I'll never get rid of Hulu. Oh No, we're GONNA I mean who lose great who has a ton of good stuff it's it was just the only reason I paused is because we were going a couple of months not using it so I'm like well, I'm just GonNa finish the shows on these other networks. Streaming. Networks I guess and when I'm done there and I go back to Hulu. Whatever I'll say myself twenty five bucks. That's right. So but I, I didn't do that because of this but I did I did like the idea of the way Wacko kind of leads into the whole knows Jacko Jakko, the way Yakha leads into the whole the whole front end of the trailer Harry talks about dignity. No it's almost it's almost like singing in the rain skit. Have you seen that singer in bit when talk about dignity dignity and they cut to them doing Vaudeville? No I never saw a maniacs of course. No, but singing in the rain you know singing in the rain I, know singing in the rain. So do you know when he's standing on the red carpet and he's giving this giving her a little interview and he goes. In my in my early time was always about dignity dignity dignity and they showed them in Vaudeville and now they're just like hamming it up you got to say a proper Vaudeville. Well I. think that's that's what they're trying to sell the beginning right that like the reboots are too much reboots of you know have gone too far and and he's he's railing against it, and then who walks in this big check. Out this novelty cheque handed over to them and it's and it's the whole reason and then the whole pilot cash drops in the back and it's this huge idea of just like we're going for a cash grab but let's be honest about. You know. and seeing the rain what was that? Gene Kelly or something? Yes. Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor don't tell me you have a movie poster I. Have a movie poster in rain. Right over there. That's amazing. And who's was it Debbie Reynolds and Reynolds. Go to. Watch these movies at my grandma. One too many times I. Actually met Debbie. Reynolds once she was. She was she wasn't auditioning or she was coming into the office. We're doing a Dennis, the menace reboot talking about rebounds and she played Mrs She was playing Mrs Wilson. So the neighbor's wife and she was in there and I got to get her some water and something I was like Oh i. Love, singing. Kind of weird to say that to somebody who's like old than? Completely, different. Well, she died in twenty-six Tina I'm looking up here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, this is twenty twenty. This is like fifteen years ago that where did you meet her here in town? Yeah. I was working over at a sneak preview entertainment. So different our company and they were they were producing Dennis, the menace reboot. Oh. Wow. Yeah. So you watch the going to watch this is when you get back, you'll probably put this on maybe maybe Clarisa, will lobby to get some Hulu back when this comes out oh yeah. You know and that was the other thing too. She said this would be so cool and then the boys go watch it I'm like are you sure? Like like I think it has the appearance of children because of the animation and so on and go straight overhead the they'll enjoy some of the stuff totally, and then some of the stuff over there there was there was a character in it called the hello nurse and every time everytime Wacko and Yacob's zero. They'd say hello nurse and it's a hot d'Or. Yeah. It's it's funny. You know and then and then the dot character she's always like put down upon, but she always stands up for herself. So she's great. You know women empowerment kind of thing you know preemies too. So I'm interested if they handle some metoo stuff in this space. Feels like they would even in a lot of the Pixar things and so on. You go to watch him. There's a lot of adult humor that the kids are oblivious to write in. Edano I guess that's what hits the four quadrants right because exactly exactly. Yeah. Because the kids are like I don't know what ads laughing at, but I'm laughing at Les Toa, maters teed well I was I was literally going back to the I. was GonNa say dig didn't they say check out her tail pipes or something like that I think is it something like? She has like a trunk decal or something it's like a tramp stamp or something there. Yeah and when he says like. He has the Piston Cup, whatever it is, and it's like he pissed in what? I mean that's the stuff I'm crying over and the boys are like okay. So what is the Piston? And it's so funny. The Hull Lake a certain age range does not pick up on the Piston Cup the adults pick up on the Piston Cup. Yeah. Animated ex definitely hits the quadrants the quadrants he'll have some nostalgia, sell us. It'll have adult humor for the Millennium Melissa Millennials Okay I'm convinced. and. It's you know and. There is some educational stuff in there I. Think they did all the fifty states and all the capitals and stuff and they did all the countries of the world thinks. So wow, they've done. They've done these songs and they always have tons of songs. So I can't wait for the the music stuff that got to Reboot Hulu. That's it. Well, you should check up on all the old stuff because you know the old stuff great to and it's it's classic. They did slim down a little bit and maniacs ceased to have a huge slate of other characters. And one thing that I don't think we're bringing back because they basically said, we're bringing back the enemy acts, which is warner brothers and sisters dot, and then they're bringing back. Pink in the brain that one I've heard of Ping the brain was is like little their their vignettes within the should they episode? The episode usually has okay. Episode usually has. The the warrener's the warner siblings getting into hijinks, and then between the hijinks, they play small episodes of these other shows. Got It. So it looks like they're only bringing back ping brain, but there was this great. The one that I liked a lot that I'm sad that I didn't see here is the called the good feathers that one I don't know. So the good feathers they're bunch of pigeons in New York, and they act like mobsters. So. So it's like they all these pigeons spreading around and talking about you know you know. Lou. And Yeah. So it's the good feathers and they're you know. They're from goodfellas and. This good. So we'll see we'll see if they sprinkle that in they cameo that. So who knows that you have a massive week of watching this week? No, I. Didn't I spent a lot of the week watching and rewatching umbrella Adamy Okay I think finished umbrella academy three or four times why re watching because I would fall asleep and then in the morning would say finished watching umbrella academy. Here's the next thing I'm like Nope I didn't. Here's the thing kind of remember. You like it just kept going and. Umbrella Academy, was watching me for sure. So I'm almost at the end of umbrella academy, hold on, let me get my notes. While, you're getting your notes, I'll go over what we've been watching. So we did the Chicago seven, the trial of the Chicago. Seven. Extremely good It was fantastic Sasha, Derek Cohen an remarkably, no unremarked remarkably remarkable. Both of those things he was remarkable I mean he was. Abbie. Hoffman, if you go on Google Search Google images of Abbie Hoffman and you search well, Abbie Hoffman of course, and then you watch this and you see Sasha Cohen. Incredible. How this guy looks they? They're like twins it is shocking. I would have liked to have seen more Michael Keaton, right I get the character he played in the character didn't have a huge role in the story I understand that but I would have liked to have seen more of him mean he's Batman so. You always WANNA. See More Batman. beetlejuice Michael Keaton beetlejuice I mean that's amazing. Right totally. What what does he was Mr Mum for cranial. He goes from like Mr Mom one, one, ten, fifteen whatever it takes or whatever. The hell that line is yet to twenty two, twenty one whatever takes now he's like an Attorney General? To the point where he's I duNno Chicago seven, their star witness star witness he that he he doesn't he doesn't give. F- STA anybody. Yeah. No, it was fantastic though I mean. To give you know I I liked how they wove in the actual footage kind of stuff they did that Oh yeah I. think seamlessly I don't if they did enough of it, I would have liked to have seen more of the actual for overall though I mean, I think the story you know what I liked about a two it was the story of the trial and not the story about what they did right which if it was a story about what they did I, think that would have took away from the actual story of the trial. And the judge. What a what? A what a despicable human cows a piece of work. And Bobby Seale story within the story like he's a minor character but the the trials that he goes through in on trial was just so phenomenal and the way that the way that he's supported by his Co. defendants and his his just this amazingness of. It is the best way to to tell this story so i. Applaud applaud arendse Oregon for for doing it this way you know the funny thing is what I love the way they showed the trial judge he comes across his like this racist dude or whatever be. Yeah. Yeah. This old time. Yeah. White Racist Prejudice, bigoted Kinda Guy. But at the same time I wouldn't even go so far as to say that I would say. He was a part of the establishment. It wasn't even about the Black Panthers and the black. Guy. It was about anybody who was not toeing the line of of the age. If you are anti-vietnam, you're an enemy right? If you were anything other than you know well, I mean McCarthyism and all that stuff that guy was straight out of McCarthyism in the fifties, right? He would I think he would have attacked. You know John Lennon for being a communist and you know he was that kind of course. Yes i. mean and then now you add on a black guy to that scenario. So not only is he prejudice against anybody who's not like you know a conservative in favor of supportive of Vietnam now you add on a black guy that adds ADS gasoline onto the fire of what this guy's prejudices are about right. You know what I mean but he was. The judge did a great job because he played the role like he has me believing he's a racist or something of course. Yeah he's a great frank. Frank. Named, Frank. Laying Gel lingala he's he's amazing actor so he did have me hating. And Hating him through the whole thing. Yeah. You think he's like if I if I didn't know any better, I think he's just like an asshole judge. But my favorite thing to was it was it was this great story of the crossroads of generations. It. was like the fifties, the sixties and seventies all like. Colliding together you know. One hundred percent yeah, I mean and I think when you look at that era things slowed down I mean if you look at the development of technology as an example, it took decades to get like, yeah. Any change in the type of television that you had in your house. You know I mean, and then all of a sudden as technology progresses things progress faster and I think social change and so on. Because maybe nowadays with social media, the Internet and stuff that's a little bit different but but I think back then though the fifties sixties and seventies when you look at social change and I know it within their you had Lyndon Johnson and you had nine, hundred, sixty four and the Civil Rights Act and you had. All that kind of stuff. But I, mean, you know you, you had times when laws were written in a law was enacted but the build up to get that law in the aftermath after that low is written, the timeframe was so slow in the social change was so slow that I? Mean it was decades before he saw any chain, right? We're now I think things change way more rapidly even though nothing's changing if you know what I mean. Everything's everything's more entrenched, right? Yeah days. Yeah. That's a good way to put it. And I think people's. People's resistance to change. Becomes more and more entrenched and yet the things. The the technology that that can foster change has actually foster this entrenchment. So it's kind of a strange. Dichotomy of. Things changed super rapid yet we become more anchored in our beliefs or something right Yeah. We've we've made great strides in technology and rather than allowing us to free ourselves and to be more mobile. We've actually dug deeper holes ourselves to exactly follow in. So okay. You left me with with two things to go with. So I'm GONNA do entrenched and deeper hole. Reminded me that I didn't watch the cabin. Okay. And I wanted to watch the first. The opening of episode two when he's waxing his ass. So speaking of entrenched and the deep. And that wax thing is like completely within the trench. All we did we probably I didn't know what to expect. So I'm like all right. I'll put this and of course, the boys are walking through the now. I wasn't expecting a nut sack. Shot. Very poorly. Poorly pixellated nuts. Yeah it was. I didn't expect that at all. I know whose ass and I'm thinking like asked Sheep Nope. I, didn't think in the crack. The entrenchment that Ted's talking about but but he grabs you designated graphs. So. I'm like, okay, we're done. So the boys were. So. I stopped it. It's a clear. So this is the next trainer show we're going to. Like twenty minutes twenty, two minutes, three of them knocked out in a trainer. Yeah like an hour an hour on the trainer and boom you're done. You know. So I told her I because we watched the good place. We watched three episodes of the good place this morning. So we kind of dabble like we put our toes in we jump in jump out and with a good place, I don't know if. I can only handle so much of that show it's so annoying. Aw. And, it's like after a few months I could do a couple episodes delegate. A Couple episodes. Yeah. But I told her I said alright the cabin man like it is eighty accuracy. The maximum. I? Mean I don't know what are we watch like? Seconds of this episode and I'm just like, okay it makes me want to see more. I don't know why it does. CAITLIN. Jenner. Comes walking up you know and it's So bizarre. You know what did I miss? Nothing. It's like what? So. Weird. Speaking speaking of. Stuff though. I did finish what we do in the shadows. and Oh cool. Wait the whole thing you finish the whole thing. which is. Which episode definitely one of the best. Rate and then, but there's so there's two there's there's there's I mean it's so it's so multifaceted. So the which is a great standalone episode. Yeah. But I would say that Colin Robinson is my favorite of the all the van by. A hundred percent I. Love It. I mean the fact that he walks around and and so funny I was targeted a CO worker and He was like I don't know why you know this other person just like I did always, it always takes so much out of me you know to talked. And I was like. Do you watch what we do the shadows and they were like it's on the list, and so that is just sent a clip of Colin now, like God that's exactly what the problem is. At my work I haven't another way. There's like if you go in the teachers break room or something everybody's inner, just like moaning about one thing or another, and there's definitely energy vampires but I've always be until this. I didn't really think of. Vampires. I always thought of Emotional Vampires, right? Right and they suck like the they do suck the energy out of you suck the energy out of the room. But like when it's done, you're like emotionally drained and you're like Oh my God like I'm so just exhausted from being around that. Well, that's that whole episode you know the episode is Collins like walking around and. He finds out there's a new person in the office and. I get before this place really grinds down you get some really fresh energy and he walks over to her and she's completely unfazed because she's a higher caliber energy vampire because she's an emotional empire and he's like ev emotional Ma'am and they have this. Face off or they're like floating at each other like. took to the next level. That is just like it is a much must watch for anyone that works in an office because everyone has worked with an emotional vampire. Entity ramp before this show came out obviously, there was the office. And anybody who's ever worked in an office and you watch the office like you could totally buy into the office? You know the people, those archetypes, the people that you've worked with. A hundred percent yeah. One hundred percent and then you watch what we do in the shadows and it I think it hits like I. Don't know maybe three quadrants or something and it's like the people who like fantasy see the people who like you know monsters, Vampires and yeah and whatever that you know zombies wherever it goes along with that but. then. It if you dig deeper though and just watch it for what it is it, there's a lot of texting. Yeah. Like the office type person you know or people in your community that you know who okay vampires that we know of don't exist right but we but we know people who behave like vampires. Right? You know and it's just it's day walkers. Whatever and I love those I don't and I saw it a long time ago I don't remember the guy's name but the guy who who wants to become right right. Right I. Forget his name too because he's so he's meant to be forgettable. So you forget his name, but you know that he kicks ass wherever he goes. Yeah he's he's a vampire slayer, but then he's his his he's the familiar for the main vampire and the guys like he's like hovering him above. But when you see 'em year looks like he's flying. Show is so brilliant. This show is so brilliant you know and and what I love to is Colin comes in and the witches and everything and nobody wants him. Yeah. It is it's so well written gear gear. Cattermole of that's who it is. and. You know sometimes we'll be doing stuff and I'll just tell. The just be calling her like Natasha's. Shows. Niger. That's what it is Nadia. I'll be like okay now. She's laughs at me, L. and yeah. But the orgy scenes and I mean it is. So hilar- when the dude's coming down with the big strap on I mean that is that is your classic television. And to counterpoint that I think I watched Moana little. Oh Yeah. You gotta go the other direction I watched Moana. We watched mandatory retirement already and then I watched. A Little Carmen Sandiego when the kids oh there you go. Oh we also watched don trader who you watched that the never heard of Dan Trauma. It's a Narnia one of the Narnia books CS Lewis now is it live action or is it action? Yeah. Okay. They made. Three of them I think they made the line which the road wardrobe Prince Caspian and the Dawn shredder. So they made three out of the seven or nine books or whatever it is. Now is it the same cast? Yes. Yes. The main kids are the same cast. They take part they take place in different realms of Narnia. So they don't have the same supporting cast but but yeah, a lot of it is the same people. So it's okay. Those three we really wish they would make the rest of them but I don't know that they think they kinda petered out on their popularity. Yeah. Yeah. Are the budgets or whatever yeah. Right. Well, I guess the budgets irrelevant to its popular if people if if it's going to sell, I mean who cares right exactly. Well, I think that I think you're right. You're right. The budget could not support how middle of the road. Popular. was you know right all right man well, hey, it sounds like you guys had a good week watching some stuff not as much as last week but yeah, I mean right now you know and and I mean plowing through three seasons of a series two. That's a lot of TV to watch. Yes. Yeah. You know I mean for you to do that in a week is like I mean I have to commend you. You know that's that's just amazing. I think it might have taken us a couple of months to get to that show. Yeah and how fitting to right before Halloween right before Halloween Oh, and you know the last thing I will say, I did why did? I started to Rewatch it. So because I started watching umbrella academy and I started falling asleep to it I'm like, why should I fall asleep to something that I want to watch and I have to figure out where I stopped? So when I found myself, go falling asleep I put on Ted Lasso. I said, I watched it. You know what I mean. I'll just put it on and I'll watch a little bit of it and. Fall. It'll watch me and that's okay because I've seen it already seen everything. So, now, I think to put myself to sleep. I will put on some Ted Lasso Oh. That's so funny. Yeah. I could you know what man I can't function the way you function. I need to have earplugs and you know everything's off the rooms black you know I mean I kick the dog out. I'm. Lucky I let her stay. Yeah. I can't. I can't do what? Because no distractions no distractions now I mean like if I'm watching something. Like pegged I'm just their. I'm with I can't fall asleep watching anything I mean it's like. Sometimes I envy people who could do that stuff and then other times I'm. Hell no man I. I gotta go to bed. Ish. Turn. It off. Do My night routines speaking, which are you segue hang out of out of the show. Night Radio maybe go. All right. We'll talk again, all right episode one, thirty, five over and out in the books. All right man later by. Next week join Jim and Ted as they disarm another Hollywood bomb or marketing masterpiece piece remember the Holy Trinity of podcasting subscribe like share. Special, thanks to Jeremy. Can Jackson for the voiceover and were Helio for the music.

Disney Hulu Jim Ted Youtube Jimmy Chicago Warner Brothers football Cova Matt Ryan clarice ABC Clarisa Jim I Anna Maniacs Debbie Reynolds Abbie Hoffman Cobra Kai
London Podcast Fest Live: Mae Martin

QUEERY with Cameron Esposito

1:12:06 hr | 2 years ago

London Podcast Fest Live: Mae Martin

"This is show about individual experience and personal identity. There may be times. When folks use identifying words or phrases that don't feel right to you. That's part of what we're exploring here. Please listen with an open heart, and as always I welcome your plate engage feedback. And I encourage you to continue the conversation in your own life and with your own community. Welcome to query. Hey queiroz. This week's episode of the podcast was reported a few months ago, the London podcast festival. So cool to be in London. Get a chance to meet so many of you. I started a that night with my plan to highlight activists and organizations working for the LGBT family in different cities. And so I had an awesome person Greg Owen who talked about his work with I want prep now. Also, my guest today is may Martin Clarice comic. I love this experience being on stage with all of you. Also, I took the train one hour the wrong direction and was over a half hour late for my own show and the audience just patiently sat there and waited. In fact, like everybody that was waiting there with them like the producers and stuff of the festival where like your audience is really cool because no one even complained. So yeah, I guess from saying is I have the best humans. Thank you to all of you came out, my tour dates this fall and enjoy this great episode. Feelin? No. So many things are happening. Number one. Am I wearing the same outfit as this giant photo of me? Yes. Yes. I fucking him. Was that planned? No, man. No. But it's a nice detail. I told them that they better not take that photo down. Also, I'm cameras pursued. I'm so happy that you here. Thank you so much for joining us at a live taping of query. Let's hear view. Had a stand up show tonight at the SoHo theatre which is in SoHo and got off stage. Just like like knew exactly where it was supposed to go just like exactly which was to take the biglou line to elephant and castle. Which it turns out there's a place there like a place that's called like kings place. It's a small street. It's a very small street. So like a went there looked at that street like what a beautiful street, and it turns out that that is the. If you could pick a direction in London that would be the opposite from SoHo of this place for kings. That was the direction I went. So look, I'm just I'm just like, I'm just I'm just a regular guy. Just like you didn't get any chance to dinner. So loose bowl of cashews. What anybody like a cashier? One. Would you like a cashew? Great to still loose cashew. Okay. It is so nice to be here in London. You know, I've really f- haven't been here in a minute. This is my fourth time in London. But I haven't been your lake as a full adult. It's been really interesting walking around the streets. What I like to do during the day when I'm going someplace to do stand up, and she's like to see what's going on your men. Look, really good. Your men are wearing really great suits, the people that were suits are wearing really good suits. Everybody's suits. Look, really good. I don't know if you've ever seen any of men from the United States of America. But sometimes there's a bunch of oranges. Smashed into a sock. And so. It's just like incredible to see what people are wearing very well tailored outfits. Friends. I have great news, which is that. I have a wonderful guest on the show today. Somebody that like, I don't actually think we've met until before when I fell into their arms after finally arriving here, and then just kind of screaming directions at people, but not in a mean way. But just like in a where's the stage who has cashews sort of a way? But there's somebody who's working. I really like, and I was so excited that they were able to be here tonight. So are you ready for a great chat? I said, no, it's. It's like, it's it's it's chill. Do you know where it is not chill? So. It's been chill the rest of that. I've been performing like weekdays. And then now it's Thursday. And I'm very excited to see would Friday and Saturday, look like. Do you know, you're a little outdoor leaning areas of pubs? Those are cool. We don't have that where everybody just kind of smashed in the street sort of like, we're not on the street. We're outside this pub standing, but you're kind of the street anyway. That's cool. So I'm gonna say to see how many more people can block the way that I need to walk. Are you ready for our guest? Okay. Please. Join me in welcoming the stage may Martin give it up for me. Hi, may there's a Mike right on your chair. Hi, guys. This is. This is. Look, I don't know if you saw this. But it's making me extremely happy. Which is that they give a bottle of water. But then closed end inside a mug. Yeah. See this super-safe. This is cute. Yeah. Very good. Yeah. Makes me happy. How are your caches? I I actually like legitimately a bunch of them just as I walked onstage, and I felt fine. I'm you know, I'm just like at that point in my life. Yeah. Where you're like. I'm just like I need a fucking nut. This audience has already been waiting. I'm not gonna wait make them wait longer. So we'll just do this together. I gave some to the folks in the front row that's not everybody. Because like this isn't like a Jesus situation where? Enough cash is like I have a finite number of cashews. Yeah. When my self. How are you doing? I'm good. I think I'm really good. Thanks for having me less to meet you. Yeah. It's such a pleasure. It's so nice to meet you too. You know, when it's when folks usually are on the show, we just do it in studio. So there isn't like an interest. I have folks introduce themselves. But I know like I've already said your name. But would you mind introducing yourself? Sure. Hello. I'm may I am from Toronto. I live in London. I'm a comedian. I think you know, my head looks like a kernel of corn. That's something. I'm I lead with a lot. And yeah, I'm I'm having a nice day went to went to the steam room. Yeah. And there was a guy eating an apple in the steam room. I was furious. I was furious with that is how they make cider. One guy guy eats an apple the room it into the ground scraping active. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't have to tell you this you live here. Yeah. It's very oh. No, my shoes gonna come untied in the mortified fall off the stage from a seated position. It's very nice to. I love to hear what people say about themselves. It's weird one yet. I guess I'm not I'm not used to doing an introduction for myself. What else should I've said? I'm Taurus, there's you. You are a tour. Yeah. Yeah. You know Torres. Oh torah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Tort taurus. Sure loyal. Yes, stubborn. Passionate. Car four Tory. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I still feel like a tourist because I'm from Canada, I've been here eight years, but I still feel like when you go by W gone by like Buckingham Palace and stuff. I'm not saying that to be addict. But I know that I walked have I seen palaces. Yes. I tell you which ones they were certainly not right? People are over there that they have gills and stuff. You going to have. Yeah. I still got like I got star struck by the city, you know, by the buildings look at you. I've seen you so many plays. I loved you in this. Yeah. That we'll join that snow globe. Like, you're so going to that. Why what brought you over here eight years ago? So I was in a long term relationship and Toronto with someone who was like I want do a master's degree in London. And so either we should break up or you should come to London. I was like all right. And then and I didn't want to come here at all. And then by family here at a British passport. And not that I didn't want to see my family here. But it wasn't. And then I came over. And then she hated it. And we broke up and she went back, and I stayed. That's what happened. Yeah. You got to keep an entire city. Yeah. I got the city. Yeah. You got the city. She got a couple of years. Yeah. Good. Like vintage sweaters jumpers. Sorry. Gus say jumpers. I understood us. So actually forget about the fuck. Yeah. This literally just like on this stage. It's high school. You know what I mean? Anyway. Yeah. You were already doing standup. Yeah. I started doing stand up when I was thirteen in Toronto's a young age too young. Thirteen. Yeah. Like, I had braces acne long hair in my school uniform like going to clubs physically shaking like so nervous. But weirdly compelled to do it. And yes, I started young dropped out of school fifteen to do it. And then yet moved here twenty two. Wow. Wait. I have some questions. Okay. Who is letting you? Yeah. Really? I'm sure everybody asks you that? It's a really good question. Yeah. I mean, my parents very. That. I mean, like what's club? Then you. Yes. Like getting here. I mean, it was the second city in Toronto that I think the novelty of it like probably legally, I shouldn't have been there. But they were it was like I was like this weird circus act that they would wheel out and like, but definitely the reactions from the audience were often just like who has allowed this like. Well, I think the second city that actually that makes a lot of sense. I was also asking because alcohol is like linked to stand up in a way that I mean, it really doesn't have to be. We're all adults. We can we can enjoy ourselves without alcohol. Yeah. But you know, I knew folks that have started started when they were not twenty one in the states, and that was actually like, you know, super challenging because like here, maybe would be a little bit different. But if you you can't like get into bars in the states. He's more of a theater vibe. I think they can get in as as an audience member. You can get in. Yes. Food they serve chicken fingers. Or would you call them chicken strips? Sorry. Yeah. They and said that's how they get away with that. They're like we have some chicken and everyone thought the checking them wasted. Yeah. It's like here. They have to have crisps in pubs. They're like, no, no, we have crisps. It's right. Isn't it illegal to have crisps? And if I made this up, I swear you have to. I don't I don't know the laws here. The one thing I will say is that definitely the child labor laws are different here. I know that for sure and actually this is the perfect place to like emit something I've talked about this on stage at my show in Los Angeles. But I'm so glad to be able to share this with you all like thirteen. I don't I don't know if they would have let you do that at like second city. Chicago sounds like a great reason to sell tickets come see this child. I think it's like seriously come see this child, but the labor laws are really different here for actors, and I know this because I am a big fan of the UK version of skins specifically in Emily's relationship, a monster. I like if there's like a lesbian in a show. Like I've seen that show. Yeah. Yeah. Full show just clips of it on YouTube. And I watched that show on YouTube without like access to the full show. Didn't really understand. What was happening? It doesn't fucking matter. They kiss that's all I care about. Also didn't realize that like the. That the autograph -i laws are really different because the US all the people that play teenagers are thirty five thirty. Yeah. So I was like watching these young actors just like, they're so cute. I have a crush on both of them like, and I'm protected by the law and then. I found out that that is not the children. Real children in their bras. So. Anyway. I did was I time traveled back and I told like. The people to go ahead and start a revolution. In get out from under your terrible thumb because I don't trust you anymore. And that's how the worst started the revolutionary war. I lost them on that. It doesn't matter. So you dropped out of school at fifteen where you earning money. Do stand up. Yeah. Like, I was doing it. I mean to be fair we're being like, this is crazy. But like I think like they did eventually Ben may from the building because four four doing drugs and stuff. So I think 'Sarin point they were like, oh, no, we've made a horrible mistake. Oh, I got bend from second city, what age sixteen for bent for two years, rebellious adolescence and went nuts and then mellowed out when I came here. Yeah. Sweden that was going on in your life. Did you get any help for that? Or were you just banned from a building? I was banned from a building. I was banned from awesome. My home building the. Yeah. Yeah. My parents building. And then I I went to rehab for like so long. I'm not sounds like I think it's I don't think it's cool. No, also. Story if they're quiet too because I think what they're doing is just like, listen your story and supporting your strange when you're a comic to be onstage in knock getting left. So I was in. I'm like I'm here for that story in and I'm so happy for you that you thanks came through that. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. It was crazy. It was only then I didn't think about it from the ages of twenty to thirty and I'm actually only now like looking back on that time and being like that was insane. And and yeah, all my friends were adults. And it was weird. When you say the UN for a really long time. What do you mean without thinking about it? I'm to read. I read. Oh, it went for nine months to a rehab. It was like a day program for which is on paper. Terrible idea. I think just do whatever. Do whatever you want at night. Make all these new friends who all you haven't communist drug drugs. The Dan you're like, okay. Well, so then that's over. What should we do? Literally, the bell goes. And everyone's like go bonds in the alleys, but it was amazing. And by the end of it, everyone is. Yeah. It was great. Yeah. Yeah. And then rekindled with my parents and everything good. But yeah, it's weird. Then I kind of just for my twenty s didn't think about it at all. Yeah. Just a healthy thing to do. Right. Brits. Oh, yeah. They don't there and everyone's goes to therapy. And America's all right. Well, I mean, I live in Los Angeles. Like does everybody in Los Angeles. Yes. I think I wanna get into that kind of vibe. I would really recommend. No. I don't mean that in like a like, I I actually I'm very lucky I found him a queer therapist. I think it's important. It's really important is prior. I had a woman who is like. Cool. But. I always felt we're talking to her about lake sacks. And I like, I don't need to go into graphic detail. But like, you know, sexuality and sex is a part of how we feel about our bodies is a part of how we feel in the world. Yeah. So that's been something. That's a lot easier with somebody who understands where I'm coming from not to have to explain I all this use your hands. Yes. So. Yeah. After that. Yeah. There's like a shorthand. Yeah. Not. Well, no, it's pretty long. Shorthand anyway. No, I that's true. And the other thing that I find really helpful by having a therapist. My therapist is like we're not the same gender. I'm like more masculine than she is. But it's also cool to have somebody that like if I talk about gender stuff. Yeah. There's a bigger understanding totally what I might be referencing as opposed to just like literally like, I have no idea. Yeah. Like, I guess maybe your hair cut affects the way that you walk through the world. But like probably not. Nice to be with somebody who believes that. Yeah. When did you get this? So this so my whole childhood. I was this was this person. Basically, then I hit puberty and was like, oh, no. And so grew my hair long. Greasy long. Always wore it tight bun on my head very uncomfortable. Confused, and you know, when you have your have, you did you have you had long hair? Oh, sure. Yes. And type on and then when you take the bun out, it's like it preserved the shape of the an I just couldn't deal with it. And I I guess I. When I was about sixteen went back to this. Yeah. So that's that's a young age. Also to have like a like you have. That's like my whole childhood varies stink. Right. Like, I think that one thing that happens is that there's a lot of folks who spend like specifically people who are as women that are queer spend like some nebulous like like there's a lot of photos of me where I'm at the beach, and I'm just only wearing bikini bottom. I got me to this picture of me and my female friends, and maybe I'm like nine like quite old. Yeah. Nine ten and they're all in fully clothes, and I'm like in boxer shorts and topless with my arms around the leg. Late is what's up? It's so weird. And yet definitely topless to too late of an age. But yeah, topless hasn't been one. Also. Halloween is not a thing here. Yeah. Halloween. Yeah. Okay. Also for Halloween. I was always like the weirdest thing by that. I just mean like everybody else was like, I'm a cat. Oh, my go to nurse. And I was like I'm a pirate with a fucking beard that I've. Yeah. Ron on. Yeah. Yeah. And a knife that I dipped in red paint, it sucks when puberty hits. And then everyone does hot. How sexy Halloween and you're like can I just be like a fridge? I'm like, well, I'm also like I also like this is sexy. You just don't know. Eventually gonna come back around, and I will wear this. Same shirt, I'm wearing now child twice. But my parents, though, were really cool. And and let me wear whatever I want wanted them. And I maybe encouraged it may be really put a bowl in my head in around my mom, and I think yeah, they were into it. So it was good. Did you have any indication of what that might mean for you know, I never I I remember or like, what did it mean to you? I guess I still figuring it out. Like, I I definitely my my whole life, my whole childhood people thought, I was a boy and would think as a boy, and I was always adamant like girl, and I'll get into these arguments and in bathrooms and stuff. And then in my twenties very much like, I'm a girl and people still miss generate. And then now, I'm suddenly like am I, but I I don't know if that's just the I've absorbed the world being like wouldn't. We're not sure that you're a girl, actually. But now, I'm suddenly also with Bill. New language we have and like things are changing so fast. I think maybe if I grew up now, and if I was a teenager now, I might say non binary, maybe. But at this point, I'm like what a hassle. Yeah. I mean, it is. I definitely hear you. I mean, I think I think that it's exciting that we have new languages. That's better. I think it's a little strange to be outside of like the age range that feels like it's claiming those words. Yeah. Yeah. Total. So I like here that for sure I also think like also, I'm I'm I'm bisexual. So I think it'd be like I was saying this to this boy recently who I had been sleeping. I was like, I don't know if I'm a girl he was so panicked. Because he was he was like, I think you are. And it's just society as version of a girl that you don't feel like you are. So, and I was like are you distrust that you might have slept with someone who doesn't say they're a girl. He was like. Yeah. Maybe maybe. Fair enough. But it's I so I don't know. Maybe I think maybe if I was just dating girls that'd be more. I don't know. It's complicated, isn't it? But yeah, it is. Yeah. I mean, I'm so sorry that that person has to be so stressed out by that too doesn't that? I know I don't mean that I mean, that's not also not even one hundred percent coming from inside. Oh, I just mean like we're all like walking through a fun house with like just different MIR's. That are like you're this. You're that. And like an also you. We're also taught to be like ashamed if we are miss gendered, right? Yes. Like if somebody's like because I I was never does this happened to me anymore. I think it's because of my very large chest when I was a child, I got miss gendered. And it was weird because sometimes I would be wearing like after not wearing just Speedo. I would be wearing like a fully girls, bathing suit and have logging. Yeah. Just be like, sir. What do you want? And I'm like, and what are you noticing? Yeah. What are what am I giving like, you're right? Yeah. Not wrong. Yeah. That isn't weird. So did you you had long hair growing up? Well ahead kind of like you I had like a bowl for a long time. And then I had fully long hair for like when I was like really like really dating men and like taking that on. But then what happened was I got a long term boyfriend who. Amongst my classmates was perceived as like very tractive because he was a star athlete. Right. Hit his being what he was which is like very muscular, very masculine kind of allowed me to be like scooting over to be like, okay. I guess we're like like a ton of hemp chokers. Cut my hair like bleached. It have like a black. I what I just. Vice senior I dropped a pool ball billiards draft a pool ball on my face black guy for like a lot of my senior. That's pretty bad. Yeah. It was. So that's what I'm saying. We're like a Catholic school girl like skirt. Yes. Long hair? After several years of dating him. I was just like I just have like a black guy. You know? Yeah. I guess she's straight. You know, like straight black is when they drop billiard balls on their face like, yeah. Yes. He kind of shielded me in the night got to shift my. Yep. But during the early parts of my stand up curl said, really long hair. Yeah. I mean, there's a because I was so young when I started there's like videos of me like thank God, it was sort of before YouTube and stuff. But there's there is one video of me when I sixteen doing weird character comedy on Canadian TV, and I'm in my school uniform as bizarre, I it is bizarre. Wow. What were you talking about? I was doing a character, but loved Buffy the vampire slayer and was unrelatable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, a character fucking weird. After trash, and it was I was just in floods of tears about about the show ending. That's the that was the thing. And but then I got in trouble because I called the character, Catherine Butch go. But that was the real name of a girl that had bullied in school. And then they had a meeting at the school about it. Oh my God. It's really stressful. You can't do that. No. Now, I'm I'm still using your land. Keeping in keep it in the podcast. But her name was Catherine Butch go. What are you going to? Do you go to use it? No, it's great. It's a great name. What about when you were doing stand up? You always in character, nor I did. I think when I don't know if you've found this when you start you try on different kind of styles in imitating people that you like, and basically, so I did I started doing character comedy. And then and then sort of become more myself over the years. Yeah onstage. I think that I'm so glad that you like claimed in. Spoke about being by because I also so curious about like you walking through the world with this presentation. Yeah. And then especially because of our job we have to talk about ourselves a lot yet. And I'm assuming that probably most people don't put that identity on you know, it's like the like, lesbian, lesbian, comedian my Martin is like the, but I I don't think I've ever said that. But then, but then when I'm like, actually, I'm not allowed to be. And then I feel like I'm being homophobic. Do you know what I'm in? It's this weird. Like because I'm like, I would love to be lesbian. But an often. I am. Yeah. Very probably most often I, but I really like I've been I guess. I guess this is the thing about labels, right? You just pick the one. But then every time I pick one I've been behave in a way that doesn't fit that. You know what I mean? And then I'm like, I guess yeah. I guess I'd say him by. But then what I've dated like non binary people is that does buying compass that I think that I think that you this is truly my answer. Yes. I think you can say what I want. But. Yeah. And sexual is that you can say that. Yeah. You don't have to say, right? I think well, the one thing I would say is that I think because of where we are like politically, I do think that I mean, this is just my belief if you're somebody who's in a stable situation like making your own money and living on your own. Yeah. I think it is like RAD an important to come out. Yes. I think that coming out creates like a sense of safety for other people. But are also creates like a sense of. Oh, we're like real people that are outside the communities. So I think I coming out is still really important. I think it is easy to think we've come so far we're beyond all that now. But we fill it where so much further big. Oh, and you're right. It's so valuable, and you just think like, even if is helpful for one teenager that's enough. You know? Yeah. And also, I mean, it's still has a ton of legal ramifications, right like some country, literally. And I'm like, I'm in a position. Where it's literally created a life where it can be out all the time. And so since I have that opportunity. I I feel a responsibility to but I don't think that's true for everybody. You know, certainly different people in a safe situation put so. Yeah. Like that makes me think we still need these words. But I think you get to define what they mean. Yeah. You get picked the word. I find it really interesting. So since I moved here, I like this this is so nice. Can I say because I I don't find I have a ton of queer friends in London somehow fallen into dislike the comedy community. All my friends are comics and into Rondo, I really was part of the queer community. And and it's it's just nice to be around. So this is neat. There's price people here. Yeah. Probably right. Yeah. Yeah. Here's your new friends. But it's interesting like things are changing so much that I've ended up all the people I've dated in London have been like, historically straight women. That's was happening, which is great there's straight. But because they're like in history. There was like. Historic there into history. Yeah. Like, okay, Henry. Yeah. This way this way. Yeah. Anyway. So it's interesting like because like sexual fluidity and stuff is now the thing. And so often these great girls that I date are like, okay, maybe on maybe Sam sexually fluid. But it's interesting how nervous to go as far as to say that I'm queer. I might be by or whatever if they've always been straight. And I'm always like, they're like, okay. Well, maybe I'm not straight. But I'm an it's like, we'll go that step further because it's valuable, you know, we'll also okay speaking, as if there are just men and women, which of course, there are not I think men are cultured where it's like if you've ever been anywhere near a man like, yeah. Bye. Bye, probably gay and then women are cultured where it's like a if you've been anywhere near a man straight. Yeah. So like, it's like. Or he still center like dudes as being like the barometer of our sexuality. So you don't get to pick your sexuality. You can't. You can't say that. You're like often lesbian. If you've ever been with a dude like, I do think that we still publicly patrol each other on that pretty hard. I think that sucks. Yes. I think that that would be very nice for folks to be able to like as we're having these evolving conversations to like just not freak out so much about penises. Sort of on whoever that they are on. Yeah. I feel like we could just kind of we could all just kind of roll down our or peanuts. Fear. Just roll it down. Or are like centering of of Pena's because. Yes, like turns out it was like a lot of there's a lot of stuff in the world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hashtag not old Dick's. But it means a different thing. Yeah. This week's episode of query is sponsored by Sola Zola is the easiest way to plan your wedding and register for gifts with free wedding website your dream wedding registry. Affordable. Save the dates and invitations an easy to use planning tools. You could start with your free wedding website. Just takes a couple minutes to set up. You can choose one hundred Brad designs, then you can pop yours all the registry into your wedding website. So that guests can pick anything from experiences to actual tangible gifts all in one place. They've got a wide selection of gifts at a bunch of different price points. So friends if you want to have an easy experience getting ready for your wedding, head to Zola dot com slash query. That's Zeo LA dot com slash query. And you can get fifty dollars off your registry today. Enjoy. Today's episode of query is sponsored by wildfire. Wildfire is a RAD gender smashing, feminist fashion. Brand that's here to take down the patriarchy. But also just give you good pants literally. I wore a pair of their red velvet pants that are brand new to wedding over the weekend very excited about it. I also wore black shirt with it at all sore tie with it. I also work type all of that from Wild Thing recently was at their store in Portland and had got a chance to meet Emma, one of their founders. That was amazing. Also, there's a store in Los Angeles through a store New York. Do you live in those places? Cool. Here's another thing about them percentage of every purchase goes to charity and this year alone. There is one hundred thousand dollars to save. The last abortion clinic in South Dakota, friends, Ingo, go Wild Thing dot com. Find some suiting their find some button ups there while thing dot com and. If you use the code query, you get twenty five percent off that's wildfire dot com. Use the code query for twenty five percent off. What are you working on right now as a comment? I I have exciting things that I can announce yet. That's okay. So let's say that. Yeah. But I'm also a book book coming out in may. That's perfect month. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's been weird because it's a book about sexuality for teens. But I'm like increasingly like, I think I'm clueless. Like, I it's changing so fast. It's been a learning curve writing it and being like clearly these teams know more than me like do you like when I do I do like university shows, sometimes or whatever. And I like, I don't know all the words, and it's interesting anyway. So that's been good. No. That's totally real. I want to say like we're in such a better situation than other comics, right? No access to quit entity or the community. They have like at like twenty eight have fallen into a pit of like essentially being like elderly retirees just because like like cultures evolving so quickly. Like teenagers do use like totally different language. I'm really glad keeping us community. Because it's like I can continue to sell tickets to younger people. Yes. I sort of know some of the words yet soda. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, what else are you gonna say? Besides your book, I'm doing. I'm doing. Radio series for BBC radio four and recording that in December. And and then yeah, I got exciting TV stuff up them so pumped about, but I can't say, I'm so palm. Yeah. No. I mean, like keep that pump going and. Yes. I have some other stuff that I want to get to in this in this and the rest of this live show and unfortunately for all of us. I completely fucked up. Went very far away to see elephant and castle. And that's important. What is that? What is that you had to see it? I didn't see straight up. I saw no elephant. And I don't know what the castle was that they were talking about. But I didn't see any of that shit may Martin friends. Let's hear it right now for me. Maybe what I do is have you like pop permanent within the QNA? Would you come back out? Learn that moment's gonna be like ten or so minutes. There's a little hatch there that I'll be watching you. That's what I want you to do. I'll be watching balls right out there. And I see you so much more time for me. Oh, may is killing it. Also, I just had to look at your name because this is new info as of today. So something that I'm trying to do when I go on tour. I'm going on tour a bunch of place in the states when they get back to me. I'm trying to do is to when I go to a city reach out to local organization that provides either care or community or services to LGBT folks in every city that I'm going to because one thing is that I don't know about all the organizations that exist here that support our community. And I'm so curious to find out the actual work people are doing like, I love being a part of your family. But I'm also just like a dump stand up comic who stands agent is. Like, this is the, but there are people who do real on the ground work. And I'm so curious about the work that those folks do, but then also I I'm aware of the fact that like, you might not know about all of the organizations that work in your city because I certainly don't know everybody that's doing work in Los Angeles. So tonight is the first night that we're doing this. But do it out in tour for the rest of the year? I invited. Somebody who is from the Terrence Owens trust is here. So Greg Owens is that get up here. Cameron. It's so nice to meet you. We you sit down right here. Yes. That's that's not the name of organization. Is it your trust on my name is Greg? Yeah. Wrote it down. It was cute. Look, I was eating cashews. Like, she. It was rough. Tell me again, yet your organization first of all I like what I did was I solicited from Londoners. Like, what are the organizations that you love and the Terrence Higgins trust is one that was recommended to me. So can you tell me about the work that you do? Of course, that's really heartwarming to know that we recommend this came from these people were like this. Yeah. So I don't actually run Terrence Higgins trust. So Terrence Higgins trust is the UK's leading sexual health and. Charity, and it's named after one of the first people in the UK to die of HIV of an H related illness. Terry Higgins, so it's been set up over thirty five thirty years now. And and we provide not just support and care for people living with HIV, but we campaign on a key policy matters like the heat, which is the virus that causes and some herpes and some cancers in the throat on your lower parts. So we come pain for that to be made available to boys and girls at school and also probably there are some gays in the audience, so they probably know about pre exposure perplexes, so and we campaign activity for prep as well, which is an empty hitch F E medication and I set up on runaway website called I won't prep now. Signposts were to buy genuine generic prep, which is contributed to a recent downturn of about thirty to forty percent in new diagnosis in London England, the UK. Wow. That is. I mean, I'm so grateful to you for that work. Like, that's incredible. I want to hear more about specifically that part the prep of sixty people people want to know about that for this is that the other sexy. No, really really exciting time for each of you prevention in globally, but particularly here in the UK. So I mean, this is new and at six AM people buy into it. And it's really I mean, a huge huge development. But I think when we talk about HIV, and we have those awful images. I don't know what it was like in the states. But here we had this awful. Mainstream media advert in like the eighties early nineties like tombstones and death and dying, and it was just really horrific. So like, I'm thirty seven. And that's my overarching memory that in Freddie, Mercury. We're the same age, by the way, I'll be next. Just having and we like the global context, he's insane. So it's just death and illness and so for the first time now we have this incredible tool. It works almost one hundred percent ticket as directed. And it doesn't matter your sexual identity or your gender identity. It works for everyone slightly different instructions depending on who's taking it and what kind of thinks they're having. And but also coupled with prep, and we know that people living with HIV who were on affective treatment undetectable at means that the come pass the virus on. So these two things together means that we have a real real shot of ending the HIV epidemic in this country. So that's huge. And that's why I mean, it's it's so huge. And it's why I wanted to ask about that. Because actually in mean in the US. I don't know what it what it is like in my actual city, Los Angeles where I live what I will say is that the people in charge are some of the scariest people specifically on this issue. Our vice President Mike Pence when he was the governor of Indiana, which is one of our states defunding Planned Parenthood because occasionally like as as a side gig, Planned Parenthood provides needed and legal abortion. But when he defunding Planned Parenthood the effect that that had in his own home state was that he created an HIV epidemic because folks were using Planned Parenthood for testing. And so like, and this was these are actually this wasn't mostly the queer community. This was a lot of straight folks who lived in rural areas without good clinics. And so when we talk about HIV epidemic. It's like sometimes I think. Number one. We talk about like it's in the past often, which I it's like, it's super scary. Or as if there's nothing that we can do. And then the folks who are speaking out of their mouths about our community as if we're like dirty or gross, Iran. Like, those are the same people that are preventing us from getting something that would just easily save our lives. Like right now, we just have the app the opportunity to do that. I I'm gonna put it a little bit more in an Irish way. Because that's what we do this to me in an Irish with another case of assists, white straight man, telling us and other people that are not like him what to do with their bodies and not just stinks. I mean, it's just. And it's a case if HIV similar to pregnancy. It's no man's job to tell a woman what she kinda do with her body period. But if HIV going back to my specialist subject was a health condition that disproportionately affected SIS born white straight middle man prep will be available, and he would not be the issue that is I mean one hundred one hundred percent true. And I also think that anytime we created distance between the person and their own body. It's of course, there are effects, of course, there are health effects. I mean, I would even say that that's true about like. Of course. That's also one of the biggest reasons I believe that we have so much assault and harassment aimed at folks who are in marginalized communities, right? Like, that's why we're so disproportionately affected by that is because we're taught to to feel so much shame about our bodies. And specifically HIV the like, I was raised Catholic. And I one of the things that I think we are not talking about enough is how the Catholic church. Which is specifically linked to the rise and spread of HIV and aids in Africa in this country, and in my home country because we have because my church that was reason demonize is contraception specifically condoms, and when you live in areas that have been colonized sometimes church is the only place providing medical care if that same person, that's providing you medical care believes that like Jesus the white man told you not to use a condom then like there can be huge and devastating health effects. I think it reaches far above and beyond pregnancy prevention with a condom each IV prevention with a Colin dome on a much broader stroke, if you are telling us that we're wrong period. The mental health social health wellbeing, the general baseline for a whole community and a whole nation in in regards to Africa and cooks, we we know. That rhetoric from the pope harking back to the nineteenth. No condoms did most of his damage in and communities that were already struggling. So it just it doesn't work for me. And I think too. I mean, I have nothing against anyone practicing faith, or spirituality, but organized religion has a lot to answer for not just in terms of HIV, but in the general mental and emotional wellbeing of our communities period. Agree. On one hundred percent agreed religion is something. I mean religion is something that you are your indoctrinated into our that. You learn from your parents choose and I fully support everyone's freedom of choice. But. This me, and you try I was born like this. So what what my life and Mike system and my truth. Does does not take a second place your religion? I'm sorry. Absolutely. And I will also say that I think. Yeah. Sure. I also think that this is part of why it's so important to talk about the work that organizations do that people like you do because we we herald folks who go into communities from a faith based perspective and talk about like those folks has like saints or whatever I mean, you're doing the work that's saving the lives of our community members. So to me like that's the stuff I'm really interested in talking about. And why do you do this work? Like, what what what motivates you? Honestly, I've every thing that I've done that has led me to here has been an accident. It was like none of this was planned and anything I've done I've done because I really felt like I had to do it. And I only ever do anything because I really want to do it. So for me, it was a very personal thing. So prep is still not fully approved here in the UK. You have to get it through trial or you have to order it through my website yourself. And so I had been looking to the states who approved it in the summer of two thousand twelve and I finally managed to get hold of some from a friend of mine gave me some Travolta's uses. Prep and I hit tested HIV negative like couple months before. And I went to the clinic the next day to confirm. I was hit. It'd be negative. Having just got this highly elusive hitch AVI prevention drug, and then I was like nose pitch if he positive twenty minutes later. So for me, I was just like oh. I can't believe that sucks. Like, I've got this thing that would mean, I would never become HIV positive, and I'm literally just a few months too late so sort of born out of necessity and anger, really? And I just didn't really want anyone else to go through that it because it's neat. Liz. It was a needless HIV infection mine, and and so so the whole website came about because of that. And that was I mean, I guess my investment for that was not really mine, although kind of saving myself a little bit, you know, I had to make my HIV status count. But it's also had friends and people who I love who have been diagnosed HIV positive and just totally lost. The plot had breakdowns disconnected from their family their partners fiances their whole world turned upside down. I was lucky that didn't happen to me. But I kind of just felt like I have to fight back, and that's that was the motivation behind, and that's still why would I do because I kind of love. I'm yeah. I'm really grateful to you for telling us all that. And like fuck. Yeah. I didn't think I could swear. But fuck. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You can swear I'm cool with it. So folks that want to tell us on your website, which is I want prepped now dot com dot CO dot UK. Okay. So what will folks find when they go there? So if you go to island prep, no quota, you k- you will find that. Basically, the ABC's of prep, some cute videos of me, and the nice blue jumper telling you how to do it. I looked just saying no if you go to the website, it gives you the ABC's of prep how to take it. And what were you should take it depending on who you warm what sex you have. But also, quite crucially. If you're in an area where you can't get free access to end the chest prep. It shoes you where to buy it from verified and trusted sellers who sell genuine drug, and it's as cheap as sixty pounds for three months supply. So that's that's awesome. Well, I mean like one first of all thank you so much for being here. Let's hear it. And thank you for the work that you do for a community. It's like a true pleasure. Yeah. Time for Greg. And the -tarian Sagan's trust. I felt like you did great. I felt like you totally crushed it. I'm going to have may come back out here for second may. We've got about fifteen minutes left, and we do have microphones available. I wanted to say if you want to ask a question, I would love to take some questions, and you can raise your hand in a microphone will come to you be passed to you that you don't have to yell, and so we can also get on the podcast. I love that. It's like straight up just people exact middle. But don't you put those hands down? Where is the microphone situation yet past that pass it over we can do it all together? Greg was amazing, by the way, Greg. Yeah. I was listening wasn't Greg amazing. Yeah. Yes, somebody I think is already received a microphone what's up high friend? Hi, hello. My name's Laura. Hey, laura. Hi or Sam, I'm non binary and fourteen names, which is kind of weird for a lot of people. I'm not from here or from the states. I'm from Columbia. Actually, I've come from way far away. So hi, I'm I got me he'll like a couple of weeks ago. And so my question is we'll think you very much for being here. Both of you. I like admire you a lot and is mainly in Columbia in Spanish, we actually don't really have that much information about non binary him or queer things in general. There's really little examples of people that are like fully out and even comedy comedy like comedians. This not many queer comedians, and I really love comedy. Like, I would love to go into that. Like that's part of why I'm here. Also, so. I was wondering if maybe you've like thought about maybe getting a something translated may be getting anything that anything that you do like on podcast, maybe Cameron or any type of comedy that you do maybe getting it translated or subtitled in a way or doing something may be for us letting Americans. Oh, that's a good question. Thank you so much for that question. First of all, I will say my little sister lives in bonus IRA's, and has told me the same thing, which is that there is not a lot of language for non binary, folks. So I'm hearing that from like, that's that's multiple countries that that's true for. And if you like, I don't know if you I don't know if you have a have, I don't know if you've heard great comedy from like, really, great, non binary comics, but I've got a really awesome recommendation for you. I know this great comic name Rio butcher, and they are very funny. So you should check their stuff out in terms of translating stuff. What? I think for me the only barrier is sometimes just you know, a lot of stuff that I put up. I organize myself. I'm pretty like. Don't always have a ton of support from like a network that would do the funding for that. But I recently put a special up on my website. And this is something that other folks have asked for and I hear I hear that ask I think it's a really good one. Maybe a translator here this. Yes. It'd be like, and volunteer volunteer just give me some caches. And all yeah. I mean, you can you can translate my work. Let's connect via the internet. That sounds like a great idea. Yes. And I'm sure that you would love your work to be this love that. Yeah. Percent. Yes. Same deal. It's you're doing it on your own a lot, and it's hard to to just like have all the resources to make everything available all the time in the ways that it should be available sometimes a challenge, but great question. Yeah. This person this person has a microphone, and then you'll pass it to that person. Yes. Hello. Thank you for a good show. My name's Georgia an irony. No website, called quit book, bucks dot com. And I wanted to know if you have any QuickBooks that have been important to you. I can recommend to my rita's what a seamless fucking plug. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Snaking? Yeah. Queer books. I've fucking love pure books. Made you are you into like queer media. Not everybody is I wanna be I just spent so much time on my phone. But I like, I I have a friend called Zoe Whittall who's who's a writer, and she writes queer books. She wrote a book called bottle rocket hearts. I think is that. I think that's right. But I I mean, I just I take books that aren't queer. And then I make them in my mind like stand by me, the what is called the body. It's a Stephen King book about this group of boys, and they near the star of that. Right. Yeah. I'm like, well, I'm one. Well, I'm one minute. Yeah. What about you? Oh, I Well, I I guess the most recent thing I love queer media, and I like him really into it. And. I read call me by your name pretty recently. Because when I like a movie, and it's queer then I try to find the source material because I'm like a big nerd, so like do I do I own Carol? Yes. Do I also own it as an audio book? Yes. Also own it as the price of salt in the original like. Print printing. Yes, you know, what? I mean. Like, it's like, of course, they have all that. But no that call me by your name is really interesting book because I think the characters are actually a lot more by than there than is indicated by the movie, which is which is like cool. So if you're looking like by a ratio exactly on the so if you're looking for like a like, and it's also super sexy like like inappropriate for public places sexy, which is always like actually exactly in my wheelhouse. I wanted to. I wanted to like I'm like listening to it as an audio book. And I'm on the train with you just making contact. It's like he's fucking the peach right now, that's how I feel all the time. You're on the blue line Alison castle. Exactly, exactly. Yeah. That was the most recent thing that I loved but. Yeah, that's a cool. That's a really cool website though. I'll check it out. I agree. Thank you. Thanks. Thank you for this wonderful question. Yes. This person high. I wanted if both of you, I find it quite interesting that you. Kevin you've talked about being fatty mainstream and always playing to anyone who wants to come and see may say you'll kind of cross Ivers while new peel a. A lot of different people. I've been thinking about this this week because I went to see to know Monet on Tuesday. Congratulations. For you. Thank you. It's interesting because for me, like her style has been in the ascendancy since she's made a very clear choice to appeal specifically to quit Rhody ensues. Whereas you maybe have made slightly different decisions by thirty. I wanted if you talk about the season that you make a queer artists who you peel to how you appeal to them way kind of that line thinking, oh that's interesting that that's your. That's interesting only because I feel like so I saw nominee for the first time live probably in two thousand and eight look that's. But my perception at the time was that people were like not fully aware of what was going on with her. And that people thought it was like, oh, like a woman who's also prince like, I guess, this means nothing. Let's not assume. May I I one time I walked past genome wanna party, do you know, what she did what this ready? No. If you're listening to this. That was crazy. That's one. This is why it was like a like a subtle ahead like an upward head. That's awesome. What about you? What do you think? In terms of like your way that you're approaching your comedy. Yeah. I think. I never really analyze like. I actually find in when I started. I don't know if you've found this but playing two straight audiences. I often find that have to do more gay material because it's the elephant alpha castle in the room. I come out. Salvin hitting the cast contra the room in the room because I come out, and I feel like I have to address the fact that I look this way. And so they can all go. Thank god. She knows that. And it's nice plane to queer audiences. I feel like I can sometimes talk about other stuff. But I I've always just been like, I'll talk I'll do whatever you'll pay me to do. And I'll I usually just talk about relationships in life, and whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I've made a conscious choice, but appreciate both. I think right. I feel like it's like actually the audience finds you and not in like a like I've been doing this job for a really long time. I'll perform for whoever's whoever wants to hear me, but I do find that for me after I got to like a certain point and people knew who they were coming to see versus when I was just performing randomly like as an opening act. Straight, folks. Just more often self select out. So I just mean like, I the percentages have changed. I don't think it's because more queer folks are coming because I've just like worked my way up over time the audiences are getting larger because I've been working longer. But I think it's like more straight folks are staying home because they feel unspecific invited. And I just feel like that's very interesting thing about art. Is that like if something is queer than? Sometimes I think straight people feel uninvited from that. And then I just go like, wow. What if you were queer and your entire life? Yeah. Existing in straits spaces wouldn't that be weird? I I have a big percentage my audience seems to be straight people who like to tell me after shows about their experience. And they do it when the like mental do it when their girlfriends in the bathroom and be like, what does this main people are so struck? But so I I appreciate that. That's so much trust trust you. Yes. She comes back. I'm like they're taking it to their grave. Yeah. Up for you. While. That's really amazing. Yeah. Good. Good question, though. I feel like just time wise, maybe we only have like. First of all, I love this. That was so polite. It so much. Yes, I'm fin on today's. I'm going to USA on Oscar throughout like, so you said how coming out online easy to kinda now on so what if you'll spend of influence like completely changed? So what if you're out now on everyone, everyone is completely new place? Twenty three thousand people to handle. Ono something terrible has happened. I don't know what you just said. It was at USC. What was the first bet you're going to USC oh to uneo to Uni? Oh my God. Oh my God. My audience is have been trying to unit deal with all week. I I know you just said words. And I know I know those words so you're going to union you feel like you have to come out again. Is it what you said about languages easier? Yes. Because we have now right? Thanks good. Bye. So what if you'll visit influence change, you go to different place? Yes. So you're saying okay hanging. Sorry, you're going to new place, and you're like this is much bigger. And now I have to come out all over again. Is that the question or like, how do you find? How would you handle complete new shove people today was off the like you've built a community? Right. Right. Right. So you're in like a safe zone. And then how do you? I guess it's just a bunch of new and potentially awkward conversations, but you had done like daunting for sure daunting, but also hopefully universities. These days are are are good places to be to find new communities. Yeah. Right there. Yeah. So I also feel like. Okay. So I think the question that you're asking. Is about continuing to come out. And one thing I will say is that if you're like I've come out, and I'm going to new place, and it's gonna be me coming out to a bunch more people. Great news that's practice for the rest of your life. Because I mean, even like with the way that I look and present I still find that. Sometimes people are confused about what's going on. And I think that. And then there are people in this room. And like that I you know that I know who are also like their queer, but maybe they present way less queer. And so like they're constantly having to come out like may just came out on stage. As like, you know, I think something that we share as a family is constant coming out. Whether it's like, literally like, actually, I use these pronouns or I'm actually bisexual or how you present. Or like, our our status like are HIV debt. There's constantly coming out is something that we all share. So if you're in this moment, like where it feels like a precipice that you're like jumping off of like everybody in this room or not I'm not assuming everybody in this room was queer, but any person understands that feeling and. Yeah. And I think it's something that like we only to remember, you know, it's like when we talk about our trans family members who are fucking terrified in the bathroom. Like, I don't know that experience, but I know that fear, and so I just think it's it's really important to remember this is like a thing we can all provide each other comfort for because we all know what that feels like was that helpful. Yes. Based on the words you act. I love you very much. Okay. This is blinking red. Which means stop? But I'm going to take one more question because pressures on just feel like it's important. So who is our final question. Is it you right in front right there that person? Yeah. Because you're so close the microphone. All right, right. Bring us home. Bring us. Lost amazing highbrow questions. And I have a really light Brown quest survey assign miam- Saif, sorry Nyquil friends. You're very welcome. Thank you. If they hear this. They're going to be like excuse me. We train. Dinner party. Can you tell us please about the fest celebrity guy crushed that you had while you had a link. Oh, that's good. Yeah. Good. Yeah. Right. Great. Great. Question. May do you have one at the ready? Yes. A two that are so okay. Really quickly hocus pocus Bette midler, Ben. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember being six I thought hocus pocus these witches. I want them all to fuck may in the woods and Bette midler who's not the hottest of the three. I shouldn't say that the issue is. Yeah. So so her and then also Tim curry is as Franken furniture. I yeah. My dodge showed me not film when I was five or six two young. And it was I remember just being like he's the pitted me of like raw sex appeal, and he's so powerful, and it was also impactful because my dad was showing it's being going. Look, how amazing this person isn't that was like woke who will. Oh, that is cool. My dad used to see the states show live in London. And my grandfather played the narrator in the stage show curry, what are you paying out of your mouth? And my dad told me he was like when I was sixteen I used to go and sit in the audience, and he said, there's a certain seat that you could sit in where Tim curry would always go to that chair, and he'd put like a feather boa around whatever guy was sought there. And he's like I was sixteen and I would go and like sitting not see because I was like this person is got. Yeah. But him saying that was so important to me being like, my is cool. Have you did you ever? Did you ever have a chance to tell your dad that that mattered to you know, what I should more explicitly? Yeah. Like, we still we share a love of that, film and stuff. But yeah, I should say that mental. I mean, I don't know Smithville tell people by moments. Yeah. Oh, my I is a hundred percent hands down. Mary Stuart Masterson and fried green tomatoes. Whoa. I don't know. I don't know. Well, may I'm sorry. I need to know this at the beginning of the podcast because you're fired from the pot. Fried green tomatoes, green tomatoes is really amazing movie based on a book any flag and. It's. There actually is like a lot of clearness in it. Yeah. It's it's fully there's a queer relationship at the center, but they only like throw flower on each other's faces. Because it's like we can't have them kiss. Mary. Louise, Parker Mary. Louise Parker Mary Stuart Masterson. And boy, I didn't really told us now how similar names are of Masterson amazing in it. And she's Blake very Butch yet. And I really think that it was the first time like I maybe ever saw like sort of a Butch presentation. She even has long hair, but she wears a vest. So I'm like, yeah. I know what that means. It's really great. You've never seen this movie. I'm going to watch it. I I think I'm so happy and excited for you. I'll watch it tonight. I will I was drawn to any kind of villain or Ursula the sea witch or like Parker, Parker Posey and dazed and confused like daily. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Bullies. Yes. Unhealthy. Actually, this is this is a perfect note to leave you on. Ria butcher this comic. I recommended one time we were in an elevator in San in San Francisco, and we were there for comedy festival and Parker Posey was also there for this company festival and got on the elevator with us. It was just the three of us. I am a lifelong fan. She's incredible yet. So I I just said like Hello. And then she said, oh are you in the festival, and we're like we are in the festival, and then she was like, so are you guy like is like are you like like a troop relief sketch troupe or whatever because I notice you're wearing like you like matching outfits like. Is that your like sketch uniform, and we were just like, oh, these are are are close. Per day. But then later that night at a bar, she probably drink. Oh my God. Amazing amazing friends. Wow. This has been an incredible incredible time. Thank you so much for making time in your night for us. Let's hear it. One more time for Greg Owens. Martin. Podcast festival for having me everybody at kings place for being so patient while I went somewhere that was not here. All of you for waiting. I'm Cameron Esposito. Please enjoy the rest of your night. This episode of furry sponsored by Wild Thing, feminist fashion brand that's your to take down the patriarchy and is committed to giving back a percentage of every purchase. A Wild Thing dot com goes to charity, but also I like their style. Tomboy style is cute a wear their pants recently wore their pants made a velvet all this is true. Go to Wild Thing dot com and use the code query for twenty five percent off. That's Wild Thing dot com and use the code query. Hey there this is Conan O'Brien new podcast on your wolf. It's called Conan O'Brien needs a friend. See over the years. I've talked to thousands of celebrities on my different TV shows. And I always thought I'd become friends with these people. But I haven't it just hasn't happened. So here's what I'm doing. I'm bringing my favorite funny people on the podcasts. And this is great because it's free from FCC regulation. We can talk about whatever we want. They're going to loosen up, and we're really going to bond, and these are terrific people people. I would like to be friends with people like Kristen bell Bill Burr, and my first guest will Ferrell I've always wanted to be best friends with will Ferrell. Hi. My name is will Ferrell I will make it my crusade, and my life's work to tell people to not do this podcast. You can hear my first episode with will Ferrell right now. Just find Conan O'Brien needs a friend in your podcast app. And subscribe seeing won't miss a single episode. You have to listen to all of them. Because at the end it solves brittle. Title. Here.

London HIV Los Angeles United States UK Martin Clarice Toronto YouTube Greg SoHo America Greg Owen Cameron Sam Chicago UN apple Columbia Speedo
Be Authentic NOW EP 10

The Marriage Family Business Podcast

19:59 min | 2 years ago

Be Authentic NOW EP 10

"Give yourself a minute to reset and to try to shake whatever else year is on your mind. Welcome to the marriage family business podcast. My name's Mick Claire. I'm a husband father of tune credible young boys, a business system strategist, tech entrepreneur, and author of the bestselling book the the marketing funnel. I m e wife mother to the same two, incredible little boys, reluctant entrepreneur, and classically trained vocalist and music educator, clean air founding owners of several businesses, including rockstar an internationally renowned online marketing and systems management firm basement, good old, traverse city, Michigan. We created the marriage family business podcast to open up the conversation about how these three areas of our lives collide and to try and tackle the question. How the heck do you manage it all successfully? And of course, to help other entrepreneurs and entrepreneurial couples discover real life in the trenches advice for the common problems that being an entrepreneur with a family and spouse often entail. So sit back preferrably. With your spouse or your partner is clear. I take you on this journey with us and share with you our while the stories and most valuable learning experience, and you can't find any Google search leterel. In this episode of the marriage family business podcast, we talk about what happens when you've got plans to be creative or being the moment or be your most authentic cells, and your brain gets in the way we talk about a date night catastrophe that happened with us, and we talk about different ways to try to be your most authentic self even when you're not really feeling like connecting with anybody. All righty. So today's episode we're going to talk about being authentic and really being present where you are regardless of whether or not you actually feel like that or you're feeling it in general. So sit back, relax. Let's dig into it. Yeah, it's really funny. We, we try very hard to be present and to be authentic and to be our true selves as often as we can be. But unfortunately, or fortunately, we have a lot going on in our lives. We want to take care of ourselves and each other and nurture other family relationships and friendships, and, oh, by the way, we also run a business together. So there's meetings their their clients. There are projects, there are deadlines, and so our lives are really s- scheduled really packed impact. Eight. Like if you were to see our Google calendar right now, the sheer amount of green and purple color coded, calendars, green, and Clarice purple? Yes, which I think is because I'm a Michigan state along manure. NEC, you alone. Maybe actually just dawned on me. All right, no worries anyway, but so everything is scheduled our date nights, our podcasting times, you've even have scheduled times in the morning to make sure that that you're playing with the boys and hanging out with them. And we always try to be there be present, not let our minds wander, but with lives is scheduled is that sometimes you're just not feeling what happens to be on the schedule. Doubt. I mean, look, this morning's podcast morning and so and so listen, you know, it's been. It's been a crazy week. We've had some just just lot of really big projects happening all the way around from getting ready to at least as at the time of this recording, reading raider lease rockstar metrics were doing a complete overhaul on rockstar express, which is one of our flagship products. We've got a whole bunch of other stuff going on. And so by the way it's summertime and there's a film festival going on not four blocks from our house. So it's so crowded. So congested in town. Yeah. And everybody in town is basically on vacation, zapped us except us. Right. And so, and that's all that's all fine because because the schedule. You know, we've got to be, we've got kind for everything and it's fine to make time for everything, and it's good to make time for everything, but that man when when you're chasing the children around the the backyard because they wanna play with their toy lawnmowers instead of getting the car to go to school, it's really hard to be a good head space to record a prod cast about, you know, marriages and families and business. When really all you wanna do is sit down for a minute and take a breath, doesn't just happen in work in podcast. We had a date night what almost two weeks ago now an entire guys almost entire day. The boys were over at mix parents house, and we had like twenty one hours blocked off where we could just it was chlorine in radically. It was glorious, absolutely glorious. Honestly, the first seven ish hours were glorious. We went to our one of the local distilleries had a couple of drinks with some friends came back caught up on. We watch Westworld caught up on a couple of episodes there. You know, had a nice dinner laid out, and then anxiety around work struck me at about seven o'clock that night and for the next three and a half hours. All like think about was things at work. Shouldn't happen in theory, three and a half hours. Maybe I'll learn right well, no, no, no, it's it's okay. But like but I think that that's the point, right. And so so the question is. How do you combat that? Like, how do you actually stop for a moment and get yourself in a better head space? So you can do the things you actually need to do to do or want to do because quite frankly, at least in in our schedule, we don't have much flextime and I'm guessing if you're listening to this, if you're if you have a business like we do or couple businesses like we do or you're trying to get something off the ground or you're just living life and you've got a schedule, right? Trying to find a rhythm. You don't necessarily have a lot of extra play, especially not today's, how do you, how do you fix this? How do you get around it? So talking about it this morning, we actually thought of couple of things. One of them is just do it anyway. You know, especially if you're thinking about doing a podcast or maybe you're the type of person who's started doing journaling or writing and you get a creative block, maybe you just start writing anyway. Yeah, look, maybe it's not going to be your most. Glorious inspired work. Maybe you have to restart the podcast four times, but, hey, you know what? Maybe just the action of talking into the microphone or putting the pen on the paper is enough to help bring you into the head space that you need to be in in order to accomplish your goal in that moment for me, I feel like that works. I to me, I think that's the, that's obviously the lowest hanging fruit of the way that I hit that. And I think that it actually works between forty and fifty percent of the time just an and that's all about just sticking with routine. Right. And by the way I just want to, I just want to knowledge that you know, Claire and I have been married now for ten years, and we've known each other for a dozen which is crazy in and of itself. This is definitely attention, but it's important. When I when when when Clark came into my life, I was the most unstructured random spontaneous, not even spontaneous. Just a Radic. Yes, person you've ever met in your life. Spontaneous makes it sound way sexier than it was spontaneous. But that just means that I liked the whole notion of spontaneity and I do. Sorry, garbage trucks. Garbage trucks happens again, part of the whole the whole deal. Right. But the things is clear really brought structure into my life and she taught me that that there's freedom and routine. And so we've really taken that to the ants level, which is why I think it's important. So to that end, I feel like if if you are like us, certainly if you're like me and you understand or believe that that there's a lot of freedom that can be found in routine, just doing the work always doing the work regardless of how you feel about it to me actually is the lowest hanging fruit. Would you agree Claire? I would. I would now listen. Sometimes it's still just a complete shit show. We acknowledge that too. So the next step is to recenter. We happen to have a a happy Gilmore on in the background at some point this weekend. Classic Adam Sandler just love it and there's a scene if you don't many of you, I hope are familiar with this where you know he's trying to concentrate and he's told to find his happy place to to completely just dismiss everything else. And you know, we've got a short person, you know, writing a toy horse through the scene with chaps on and Julie Bowen with mugs of of beer. And and while that is not my happy place this morning after chasing the children around for hours and knowing that we gotta get back in records and podcasts. Instead, we took him minute. There's this cute little cafe on the other side of downtown where they know us by order if not by name Frenchies famous. That's right. It's awesome. You hate it. You should never go here. Traverse city. They can serve about ten people out of time lucky for us. We were the first to win this morning and we were able to take a moment. Enjoy your mocha's and our pastrami hash and just kind of talk to each other. Relax unwind a little bit. That's our happy place. And that's really what worked for us this morning. It completely reset our dispositions. Got rid of my bad mood anyway. Can't really speak for you, I guess. But. Hi, you seemed good, but I don't wanna put words in your mouth. I'm still trying to figure out how Julie Bowen with things. Beer is not your happy place. That's just weird to me. Like that's very much my happy place, probably how Julie Bowen, but you know each their own, I suppose. But that's definitely one of one of the options is give yourself a minute to reset and to try to shake whatever else is on your mind. And. No, try again. That's an option as well. Again, if if just doing it anyway takes about forty to fifty percent success rate. This probably puts you up to about ninety eight thousand ninety percent success rate. One of these two two things. Yeah. Although I feel like something that I've been working on as well, that helps me that that's been helping me is just trying to be a little gentler with myself. So. I just try to have a little bit of grace with myself, and that's something that I don't typically have. So. You know, as you get to know me a little bit more, you'll you'll, you'll learn that I'm a very hard edged guy, and I just drive hard probably like a lot of you guys out there like we're, we're grinders, right? Like we drive really hard. And so when we screw up like it's okay, you know, you learn that that failures are good thing, and it's it's an indicator of is just really a feedback loop and all those things. But man, you know, it's very hard for me to just kind of cut myself a little bit of slack enough from Grayson times. Sometimes that's really the the most important thing you can do. What's interesting about that. We again in our failed date night, a, we can half ago. I felt horrible about having spiraled about work. I think I probably apologized for it for the next several days. And it's funny because if the shoe was on the other foot, if Mick had, you know, started spiraling about work. I think I would have been way for more forgiving toward him. Him, then I'm willing to be toward myself doubt about it. And you so that you find yourself in the same position and I'm sure many of you, you know, we, we are type a, we can do it all. We can run our own business. We can run our own lives type people. Sometimes he just had to look at the situation, forgive yourself for being in a state that you can't accomplish what you feel like you need to accomplish and try again later to that end. Actually we've got around to date nights on Saturday. We've got sitter lined up, take Saturday evening. It's not going to be a whole day. That's okay. Take Saturday evening and just try to reset start again. And I, I don't know. I think if we're willing to forgive ourselves for the missteps of last date night, I think we'll be in great shape this weekend. I think so too, but the other piece of this and there's actually two points that I want to make your. The other piece of this is that. First off. It's interesting the perception that you have because like it's like the date night thing. Right. Clear beat herself up like crazy over that date night, the date night to buckle or hover, she wants to put it. But the fact is, is that I've melted down over work quite a bit in the past like this. She supports me that way all of the time. Well, certainly whenever I need it. I mean, it's she's just got me on lock from that perspective. And so she's feeling back bad about it. It was a stressful thing for me, no doubt about it. But the truth is that I felt really good that that she was able to do that. And honestly, like one of the things that I do every morning, one of my, you know, routines that I maintain. I'm up at four forty five every morning. I usually start my power hour by about five o'clock. I tried to get it under underneath wire by can start it at at four fifty. Five. That's awesome. But when I journal I journal bot at the next morning, I was like, you know, I'm so grateful that that clarify comfortable enough that she she, you know, had. Felt safe enough to have the space to to to talk to me about that. So like you know, the question is is, is it really a bad thing? It's not relaxing. That's true. Definitely not relaxing, right? But it's still intimate. It's still good. It's still constructive. Right? And that's the goal a date night, I guess we succeeded. Well, I guess that's my point. And so like as in. So the second point that I wanted to bring up is moving into this weekend's date day date night when got going on right. Like I can tell you that my my, my goal for things to do is nothing. I don't wanna do anything. All right. I don't want to sleep all day, although my all all day. But like you know, watching some shark tank and a little bit of Westworld and maybe having a Jack and coke or something like that. Sounds lovely to me, but here's, here's the caveat right. I'm I'm learning to lean into whatever's there. So it turns out that that this whole thing plays out again and Claire night, you know, like maybe I break down the Steimer maybe it's Claire or whatever. Maybe the kids get sick and we can't have a date night in the first place. There you go. Some something totally out of left field. Right? God, knock on wood, right? The second, she, yes, seriously. Find would debt. Just knocked on the deck can hear that here. Hold on. Air we go. All right. So knock on wood, please don't get sick gave Nash. But like the thing is, is that I'm going to want to. I'm gonna wanna play into that. You know in in not feel bad about it, not beat myself up about it, and I feel like that's that's kind of the takeaway that I would see from it being authentic in spite of the schedule, even. Being offended and doing what you can't understand that that. The schedule as you as you set it up there, certain types of people. There are certain types of things that you need to do. You know when you when you go to work, you need to be, you know, very, very, very productive and efficient. When you come home, you need to be very present and have fun. When you're on date night, you need to be intimate and connect. When you're supposedly sleeping, you'd better fuck and rest man. You know what I mean? And like understanding that those are the targets in an ideal world. That's exactly how it plays out, but having a little bit of grace with yourself to understand that it's not always going to be like that. And all you can do is try to hit those those targets and not kill yourself. If if you don't. Right. So. I know listen to you Wednesday morning, wisdom corner. Everybody's gonna know we do this on Wednesday mornings. So, yeah. So what's your takeaway here? Clary I think he's just nailed it. I mean, the the goal is is to be your most athletic cell phone to be present wherever you happen to be. And if it works out exactly like you expect it to fan fricken tastic enjoy those moments. And if it doesn't, they're still good to be found, and there are ways to to hit the targets anyway. In what I've found is this if you, if if you be like water and you really just kind of go with the flow from that perspective, like like, you roll your, you roll your schedule and you set your schedule up the best you can and you get those boxes dial into the best you can. But then he just do your best and you try to live in it and with it and through it. If you're doing that, you can always course correct the next day the next week to try to dial it a little bit closer. But I found that if I keep it energetically dial in and close to what I meant it to be an an, I'm trying to live into it. I'm going to be a lot happier and the results that I'm going to produce in all major areas of my life. You know, in my marriage in our marriage in with our families with our family, inner business. Hell in my in my body is I'm is I'm trying to clean up my nutrition and start, you know, running and doing all those things. It's you're just going to get better results. I'm I get better results when I do that. And that's what I found. I agree. I have to believe we're not the only people who deal with us. So you know, as far as takeaways go, I don't know. I'd love to hear how how you guys manage to be your most authentic selves. If that's something that you're actually working on, if it's not, why not. And if anyone else has any fun crazy, this is how I thought things were going to go. And because of my head space and and where I happen to be emotionally mentally, this is what happened instead. So, yeah, I, I really appreciate you guys taking the time to to be with us today, and I look forward to hearing more stories and hanging out with you again next time. Thanks for spending time with us today here on the merge family business podcast. Now it you joy this episode than there are just two things we would love for you to do. Number one, leave a rating and review for us. It really helps us know what kind of content we need to produce for you. And Secondly, head on over to marriage, family business podcasts, dot com, and subscribe for free to get all the resources shared in every episode emailed directly to you that way you don't have to go searching for anything disgust on any episode ill, just be in your inbox. We'll catch you in the next episode of the MFE guest.

Mick Claire Julie Bowen Traverse city Michigan Google partner rockstar NEC Clarice purple Adam Sandler Westworld MFE Radic Clark Gilmore Grayson Jack Nash Clary
Event Blogging: Everything You Need To Know To Get Started

The Bishnu Mahali Show

20:53 min | 1 year ago

Event Blogging: Everything You Need To Know To Get Started

"Hello going into service. No Mahalia and you're listening to the listener molly so an in this podcast episode. Today we are going to talk about event blogging as slight this episode is completely dedicated to. You've been blogging. Well it is a block created or designed what particular sets Cultural National Religious or international international holidays. The blog focuses on a particular even to target the huge amount of traffic. At the time. Of even your income will depend on the prevalence of aw the event and the contents quality. The content or articles report on the blog must cover the basics of the even including such as is what is what the event is about wide they celebrate the holidays delivered the event the location and in Time of David the people interested in the event how your readers can enjoy it and so much more the aim Heh it is to provide complete information and to answer the questions about the even or providing materials or ideas celebrate even you can do this by using zinc videos images courts and anything as that Eurydice can enjoy it even Ragas does all the process months before the actual even date Durand Cup on Google sometimes even years before the pros up even with even bragging can earn a lot within a few days more than and what you can make monthly early early in traditional blogging. Some of them aren't up to ten thousand dollars per day or per iban which is great as what you invest is so little and it's nothing compared to what you can earn even groggy even ruggedness buffet for those who love to walk look at specific periods in a year. Or those who don't want Want to work all the time. Specially those who want to make out Time with family holidays and other activities the cons one major drawback of even blogging that request an excellent dedicated server Ought to handle the traffic which is very expensive of course and you have. You must invest some money. I as dedicated servers are expensive. Although you can also go for a cloud based service such as cloud clarice and but still it will be expensive for you than the traditional blogging on other the disadvantages that you must stay online. Always until the event ends if Sarah Script is so team Plugin Isu- ecause during the even. You may lose a lot of money now. Let's talk about how to even drugging. I've been getting a lot of DM's on my instagram lately. Asking about the best of blogging causes. Before you move onto the Steph. Let me tell you that I didn't find even a single even course which was recommending high. Were the good news is that I'm already working on it and To create on my valuable coach for the for you guys to get You can just subscribe to a news little or subscribe to anywhere or follow me on my social media to get the launch information May And I will try to ask as possible. Now let's talk about the steps of how you can start your own even drugging cardio. Well number one step is to choose a profitable even even before you select uneven out how competently are the event or missed is and the monthly searches. Has You can also are used to like you tall cure. Google keyword planner to search for keyword related to the even and I recommend using our SEM RUSS or h reps which works volcanic. I think similar sto best one right here when it comes to back links then. I'll recommend eight wraps but in this case I recommend assume Russ and retool call over this but the data on over to this is more accurate so I'll go with. Sem Ras for you. You can choose uneven based on the traffic generates or based on your interest selecting and even based on your in impressed poses an excellent source source of inspiration this will help you create out great contents which obviously leads to successful even blog choosing uneven based on the demands of an audience is also but mixture annoyed that on the even causes many searches. His how you can do that use goldens. This is the best tool out. There rely on our when investigating the train or competition of searches about something. All you have to do is our of. Is it the website and search for your home in this case it will be the name of the event that you want to blog about multiple ideas than it is the best tool to compare the search volume or of those keywords. Alright even ideas. I'd go with high traffic high competition. Keyword or Gobert average traffic average competition. Keyword the low competition keyword is Extremely difficult to find out when it comes to even bring knit wondering how would you know the competition. Addition the Knicks tool will help you of that. Assim Ras are overseas. I would go with a simlisafe's you can be. And if not then you can use the free. He was in office. I suggest which is what's the distance one of the Popular and Free Cure Research. Or as you're on the Internet now it will help also help you to find out the competition off the keywords visit their website and it will display all the necessary. The information for all your news. Remember that if you are new to even pick on even that does not generate a lot of competition this way you you can handle the challenge and again I recommend using a similar view on all the links will be available in the sooner or description if you want to check them out. Okay now let when you were some of the ideas or fix to begin with like New York Boston Mountain Christmas Olympics. Ibm We just Indian. Premier League PUPA World Cup Elections Cricket World Cup Valentine's Day Super Bowl finals. Diwali movie movie releases. Movie reviews movie trailers Video Game Releases Movie Songs Holy Oscars and tons of water Even blogging topics out there. you can choose any of them the website where I have posted aboard even blogging. The block forced about even contains all ideas. And I also have -pedia list where I hab listed almost all even broken ideas which you can get from the website. BOGUS DOT COM now. Let's look at the second step which skewered research apple picking it is time to research the keywords words searching for keywords tie competition and traffic is not necessarily researching for long-term using tools like long pro. I is very essential other tools that you can use. Keyword research are all cure. Tools goal keyword planner Zimmer's at Sadr. I I commend using assume Ross and then the torch step register the right dominion you need to start domain name after picking your main keyword horror order brand name. If there's any you can use oh Wave host like a name depot Gordy to search for domain name our I think google domain is also a good website register for our domain name. Although if you're looking at you put option than go for name which provides the cheapest are dominate it on the Internet now the Stip choosing are good web listing Gustavo. Dave Logan need a good quality web-hosting or salvo if who do not want to spend our money on hosting you can make use of blogger dot com yet. I would recommend you to go with a paid web hosting where you can install what purpose builder new broke through to a template and the blog ruled domain. Name if it will this are your website will available will be available will online for free. It is that simple nonetheless you can buy hosting from side Interesting applaud. It costs a lot to buy a hosting service. But it is definitely what it now dipped step in stalwart in one. Click if you have purchased your a web hosting of course by the way if you buy all levels through my link there are some special benefits like I can give you teams of of essential blinds for free and plus one of my team member will help you to set up your website and aggregated running. And all we can also do as you want but the issue will be chargeable. Okay now let's talk about enforcing their next step is to install where by making use of the quick install Uh which is available. What with almost all the way? I was panel And then you can choose of good team. I recommend using generate generate place for Ostapenko and then Start Your website if you are not sure how to start your upset and you may look at all my blog or anyone's blog and do it for yourself if not you can hire our team to do that and if you're posting hosting from our league then you don't have You don't need to pay us. I'll real An stolen set up your website for free. So that's one of the benefits of using my applete links are which is just available in the so north or description and finally like I said I I would recommend you to use Ostra pro or senate. Let's talk about them a little bit. Let's talk about Rx stop. Robust speed is very conceal when it comes to any website. And that's the reason to keep on this team as my recommendation is very lightweight and super apostolate with us to purpose time. The team is also available as three one. But I won't. I won't recommend using the pre one as that won't be asked. CUSTOMIZABLE ASTRA ASTRA PRO or feature. The team has done so fetus and pre made templates and content blocks as well. Trust me. You want disappointed. The next him that I I would recommend is generic prestigious alert less which cost a lot less than Ostra pro and dinner precision orleans than Astra per to be honest? It's a stick loose competition. Although I would choose Australia we know I can't always taunting you know. War generate praise as well both teams are amazing and have almost similar features the only downside to the press against str- Roy's that it doesn't release update asks passed as a stopper because there is a lot of difference in terms of three chill and all but overall they are almost the same when it comes to the prices in press is a clear winner hill so depending on your choice choice. I if you're looking for a cheap team but great team than go gender Chris and again if you don't care about money and what a little bit more than Go with Ostra pro now. The next is writing content obviously standard and great contents. Great content is important. If you want your block succeed you must identify the main keyword which is associated with the event and always incorporate them into article to attract readers to create high-quality interesting and. Learn the articles for your blog. And don't forget to use a lot of resources like images courts books extra include a lot of images in the content but at pictures that relate to hop particlar topic also add images that are original as it will help you improve your website. Ranking you can get free stock doc images on SORTA stalk can war and offer royalty free images website like big SOB as well another important factor to consider is the article and and if you choose to write articles containing over one thousand word make sure you write approximately twelve two articles yet. The article will contain nine hundred. Would you should consider writing twenty five to forty five articles to get appropriate since and stop writing. Lindy articles can improve your ranking on Google bill but make sure that the article are will researched inflammation d an engaging so that all your readers will enjoy. Stay on your website for long and yeah. Don't forget to promote them. These David now the next step honest another next dip that I have for you as of forty or even brock career is avoid cured stuffing. And so that you please. The main key word inheriting subheadings titles description but also make sure not to stop the content with keywords furthermore include keywords and Lsi keywords to boost your organic traffic the moment. Your website has a lot of traffic google star tracking all the activities on your site so avoid cure stopping to maintain traffic on your site and to avoid banality by Google. The next bill quality beckoning 's creating back links is very crucial to improve your website ranking on Google search you need to select auto forums of websites and blogs that are related to the the targeted even out and also makes that all day rank high on Google search result or the domain authority or pay authority a the websites. The battling process begins. When you have at least of five to six post on you have such that you can make use of an sto profiler to build back links again? It can be done using seamless as well and it's wraps as when if all you're battling contains the same and Codex it will not drink. Hide those mix art in that You get back links with different set of keywords or anchor text the best way to build back quality is guests posting. And guess what you can also right for as well and get high quality back links from. RF SIDEWAYS BLOGGERS DOT COM. So if you're interested go ahead and take out. The next day is this is C. O.. Such optimization occupying your set for issue is the most vital part even though Europe site is great it will become useless. There's less without. Seo Can gender traffic from social media this will give you an idea of what readers think about yours is yours different big topic. So I'll just give you an overview on base is you'll be zero plays an important role in improving all upset. Drink mix that the Peace Corps dot correct and your block. Speed speed is over ninety percent. That's why adamant Using teams like US throw or generic Chris also ensure that you have carried out on business you including body tags startle keyword entities and headings offbeat as your as your basically building your brand and authority and back links from other websites. So it's it is a will a big topic and also are difficult topic to explain in this episode. Show you search for it. I recommend you reading the articles from battling DOT COM to learn more about it. There are two types of Seo Whiter tissue and black s you always of focus on Whitehead Su Blackhawks. Issue doesn't work anymore now. Let's talk about the Patriot bottle. abry blogger one. Itchen valley can aren't a lot of money from we wouldn't blogging. If you monetize your blog different restrictive this but do not apply all at a goal to avoid saturating. Your visitors head are some great ways to make money with your your even on his blog for display ads which is Guler since mcnabb. Sick draw afloat. Marketing says Amazon Associates. That'll L. Sale Commission junction and many more and then Dodig ads. which can be done using plug and slight advance ads order order hired sanity and like that and then next is sponsorship for papers and so on did our cup so many ways to make money online through blogging? Actually I already have a blog post about it. I think I have written a blog titled Twenty eight weeks to make money online some off. Something like that. You guys can read that book on. How BLOIS DOT com? If you want to learn more Toubon demonisation for knowledge. Summarize our this morning edition chanting a great way to monetize. is size for products and deals related to the target event and to advertise several companies offer various furniture for a specification or even furthermore. Or you can want Joe blog by making use Google at since it is a program that lets publicist so so automatic advertisements on their website port odd ads in the sidewall within the within article and at the end of the article opposed. And you're good to go was joined the CPA or cost per action. It works to promote any product related to the even while it is quite difficult to join it. Uplift networks like bank and Amazon associates are Easy to join join an account and search gortat related to the event and stocked promoting them one of my favorite uplift marketplace. That I use still I recommend using it if you are planning to make some handsome income all income through marketing. I'm also trying to Trying to emerging market bliss like Grocery Wall and data got a couple of new fleet market bliss. I'm also trying them. I can't recommend them at this time. so let's move won't from doppler marketplace site saw you can search for the repre link and place it on the blog and when I visited place it or soaps from these websites sites you will receive some form of payment or commission for a high click through rate Jews are teams that are highly at since optimized I or or have a beautiful design for your marketing business also makes it in that you please the ads on areas of your blog where your readers will look the most by doing this it It will increase the city are and imprison okay before I finish this. I won't do on so frequently asked questions about about you and blogging. So what is he blogging. It is a blog created autism for a particular events Cultural National Religious and international the holidays uneven blogging uneven block focuses on a particular even to target the huge amount of traffic and the time of even how to start blogging. And our money who started all a- blog you can use any. Cms Lake wordpress and start creating content. Little you can monetize your put up or content through a Google Essence Media Rodney of marketing sponsorship etcetera. Like I said there is an article To how you can make money online through blogging. Are you GonNa read that on drugs dot com next one is can I use at since then even yes you can use Gobert since on your even block. It has long as you don't want any of their friendly contract guidelines policies autumn subsidies next question which is Berto even blogging or normal building. It is very subjective. It depends on a lot of factors to be honest most of them are good. Some people like even blogging. And some don't now to finish. Is it up if you follow these these tapes you can make appropriate You can make approximately a thousand two couple of thousand dollars dollars from crossing the even if North make any profit for the first time get off dejected. All because all all the knowledge you have acquired. We'll help you made success in the next even on extreme even business blogging is not complicated. Prepare yourself and focus on the task to make a profit. What do you think about even voting? Do you think it is beneficial tag mayoral. It's the snow molly to chat with me about this topic. Ciragan in the next episode. Thank you so much.

Google want Want David Amazon Associates Chris Mahalia clarice instagram Sarah Script Knicks molly New York Europe Russ Peace Corps Ostra