18 Burst results for "Chris Porter"

"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

05:36 min | 2 months ago

"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"Ian bag was the feature job and that was a letter columbus. Ohio. what murderous. That's a mur like to date. Probably one of the best lineups i've ever been apart. Yeah i Job net would do forty five minutes of brand new material. that would devastate. Oh and then he would say. I have some friends in town that asked me to do an old bit. I don't really do it anymore. Here it is and he would do the killer whale buffet. There wasn't a friend anybody columbus but it was just a way he's like. I know you wanna hear this so here. It is and he did it and i was like. There's no better way to get into a bit then that you don't do any more than that. I wouldn't be shocked. Stole that every now. And then i like i. John would be mad about it because it's just a way to frame a bit that you've already written and it was. Yeah so. I look band i. I've been doing this. Shoot since i was nineteen years old. And it's just it. It means the world to me that when people like you or anybody Think that i'm in that echelon. Oh you're you're at one percent like i mean for real low. No no joke watching you stand ups. One of my. Everything's and that's a shortlist for me. There's a lot of people that are big names. That i just i just tap out and i go. What are the biggest comments. I ever had was watching rich voss on someone might have been your podcast. Yeah my name came up. And he was like i watched his whole set at a dirty at twelve thirty. So that means. I didn't even go onto one fifteen. Yeah so rich stuck around 'til to watch like that's one of the biggest compliment i've ever seen especially those guys like those those hard knock new york dudes who've seen it all and they've just and they're so bidder like they're so like fuck that guy do one of the greatest compliments. I've had my career to twice once dave chapelle. Dave chapelle david tell sorry otherwise entertainment for me. Dave chapelle david l. Compliment altogether or david tell. I can tell you to this. I was driving across golden gate bridge heading into san francisco. David l. call me. he goes. Hey did i still these jokes for him. Yes great compliment. And then Was i going with this.

Ian bag columbus rich voss Ohio John dave chapelle Dave chapelle david Dave chapelle david l new york David l david san francisco
"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

04:38 min | 2 months ago

"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"I don't watch enough. I don't even know what cunanan is. I don't know what it is. So if he tells me about cunanan might go uh sounds interesting and then all of a sudden these fucking people go fuck. I knew you one of them for sure. You believe in masturbating frog oil or to go mad. I don't believe that you'd have the opposite side. Liberal shit. I stayed away from today. i can say this now because it's so far away from whatever this gets released but like There was this brutal attack of a woman. on in new york joe koi posted it. And he's riddick. I saw it and i was like you know what the faulk like. What literally what the fuck i. I hate to say this. But it's not the majority of you but the minority of you behave this way whereas i go to reposted on mind because joe's like please help us find this person that attack this woman and i go. I'm gonna re tweeted. I'm gonna reposted on my instagram. Feed and then. I just thought i thought i don't want the headache. This sounds horrible. But i don't want to deal with the people on the internet. Who then go. Where were you during. george. Floyd's how come you. Where were you on elliott pay. Where were you on this. Where were you on this. Why is it this because your friends were jo. Koy now you state and shit. I didn't want any of it. But i do want to find the guy that beat up that asian woman asian. Because that's a horrible. Hey does that was the fact. It's no no person should be stomped outside of in which mccullough for sure that's just a real thing no-man's man should have a nip on his neck. We can't breathe die. That's a real thing but like just go just go. I don't want the headache. I don't want to deal with the fighting online. That will happen to my comments. And then i got a fucking deal with. I don't want to deal with any of that. And i and i go man. I keep saying this. I did Did a hip hop guess one time and they said something very clear to me like about stay in your lane and i was like i was drunk and i was like it's an interesting thing. Why would they say that. And i was like okay. I looked i do stay in your lane for sure. Do rogan go to your podcast. Go do your bill burr. Do your own podcast. You and tom..

cunanan joe koi Koy riddick headache Floyd elliott joe new york mccullough george rogan bill burr tom
"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

04:54 min | 2 months ago

"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"In a group of people. And he's hey puerto would he do it. I go. kay made shepherd. Singer went up there. And i can't really hang with it and then i just start going off about how i'd saved. Kenny wayne open for the crows. And how i didn't really dig. He he's a flashing. Taurus like what he changes chords he points at people and does that kind of stuff and some people do the shit out of it. I don't and so. I just kind of went off about it. Yeah what i know. Is kenny wayne shepherd in the group of people. It looks a lot different than he used to it. He ends up just walking away. And i don't know the fuck is and i'm still just bid like you know you start to catch a groove and you just start going off and then like ten minutes later like another lady in the group makes it very that. She's kenny wayne's manager and then leaves and i look at rich and i'm like hey man stopped me. He couldn't have nudge me. I just wanted to see where you go with it. Because he's that guy and so now he's like best friends zach myers who's one of my best and like so. I feel the need to apologize to him to kenny wayne. Because i didn't mean to say all those things directly in front of him. Yeah but also. I don't not feel that way. It's that's such an interesting place to be where you go. you know. my wife is that person. She's tells you what she thinks of you. And you don't have to do that. Like only cares you. Just let it go. You just actually not bring any of that up. Yeah yeah she and you're like but also that's kinda hot it's it's it's super. I dated a girl. That was very much like that. Even to me and i was like. That's maybe one of the most attractive things amac is. Why lovers at we. You know we did this project thing. Whereas like i was very below-normal yeah and i. I didn't know if i was going to do well and i got done. She's like you find killed that. And i know that if i didn't kill it she would have told me she would have loved to tell me taking joy in telling me that was your horrible and so when you do well that it's a real do well but at the same time it's like lamm would tell you. Yeah you just you could be. You should be able to tell that he should know that you don't enjoy him. But i'm the opposite where i go like. I had an instance hate him a person. Like i still think you should be able to do things and play guitar. It's just had an instance. Where i i am not certain if this was the person. It was very uncomfortable. I think i've talked about this before. But like i got off stage one time and I came into the green room at the store. And i was only like. Hey great set. No one heard it. I knew no one during the green room. There were drinking. And i didn't know any of them. They're all friends of rogan. Oh but i was like someone's like hey bert. When are you gonna. Alex jones on the podcasts. I am you know. I'm just offstage. I'm still final hot. Knows like fucking never and they're like what..

kenny wayne Kenny wayne zach myers kenny wayne shepherd amac kay shepherd Singer lamm rogan bert Alex jones
TABC says Fort Worth's Varsity Tavern not enforcing social distancing, face masks; suspends liquor license

Chris Krok

00:39 sec | 8 months ago

TABC says Fort Worth's Varsity Tavern not enforcing social distancing, face masks; suspends liquor license

"Popular Fort Worth Bar cannot serve alcohol for the next 30 days. That's because they were not complying with CDC guidelines. The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission has suspended the liquor license for Varsity Tavern, a bar in the West seventh District, Chris Porter with the tea, ABC says. Usually they issue warnings. First. With the case like this, they have to go right ahead with an emergency order. You know, we understand that a lot of businesses are facing some extreme challenges right now and when possible. We do want to work with him so they can maintain operations while still keeping their customers safe, he says During an inspection, the bar was well Overcapacity and people weren't wearing masks. CAT BONES IRON W BABY

Fort Worth Bar Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commi Varsity Tavern West Seventh District Chris Porter CDC ABC
"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

04:21 min | 1 year ago

"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

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"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

05:08 min | 1 year ago

"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"Yeah, you know what I'm like. I would I wouldn't know what to take out there pretty by stories have gotten pretty lengthy at this point. So it's like, yeah, I could either I offered thirty minutes before I did secret offered a thirty minute deal and I was like. I doesn't. That's I. think that's really good for some comic. Some comics really is better for I think but for me my art form as the hour and that's what I'm better at. If. You said Hey I'll give you ten minutes. Maybe I could do one bit. You know or one chunk of what is but it's really interesting to me when I see like shit on anyone but I wanna see young comics that get specials very early and You see that they've never really done an hour that they don't know how an hour works that you can't bring up a subject move on. Then come back to that old subject again when you need it, 'cause you're running dryer material and then go back to something else and then go back to like it's like I'm so. It's such a disservice. To comics growth. To give them too much too early and so many people don't do well with it. I. Mean. If you look at the numbers last comic standing, what how many of the are you? How many of their are you left like? Did you ever think of that? Very true My season. Yeah. I. Mean also like they can still be working in New York and I just don't say like with Roz G. and Michele Balan like I'm just not in their scenes so they might still be working but I haven't seen him around here again that doesn't mean they're not working I just. I Tie Barnett I. See every once in a while, Josh is still killing it. And then But and then Gabriel was on my season. So yeah, he's doing. Okay. All right. I mean really it's kind of interesting fraternity to be end I saved Tony. I'm sure that's a hate crime now but but the interesting group to be in. Because all of us all of us. All of tried to be in that I mean we all tried to. There's only a few of you that got there. and. And even furthermore, there's only A. Handful, it's got to be more but like that are working and moving and doing shit. Yeah and it's.

Gabriel Tie Barnett Michele Balan Tony New York Roz G. Josh
"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

04:09 min | 1 year ago

"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"Tour through bottles of Buffalo Trace all seven of US would open one of the beginning the night and I was like we're fighting for the damn thing is still he was named the two thousand, twenty the year at the San Francisco World Spirits competition has some of the best whiskey tasers in America judging whiskeys and Buffalo Trace one the most and they won our hearts on this tour bus. I'm telling you anytime we had a commemorative shot who shot of Buffalo Trays, take it, and it was a shot that you did not murder you could like nicely sip and taste. It was two decades, two decades. Won The same title, a Whisky Advocate magazine since I wanted more awards than any other distillery in the world just Google Buffalo tracing you're gonNA see up yourself. They've been distilling whisky since seventeen, seventy three. That is, I, think that's before Van Gogh. Ever, since American pioneers followed the Buffalo, hers, the Kentucky River They even operated during prohibition with a permit to make whiskey for medicinal purposes. Sounds familiar these days doesn't it? The master distiller is in charge is Harlen Wheatley. He. Also makes craft vodka named after him call Wheatley Vodka, which we also drank on the tour bus. We were all over this man's product since nineteen ninety-five Harland has been stealing at buffalo trace if the whiskey and the boroughs ready to go into the bottle, it doesn't go because they know because they know they know because they tasted all. The American Buffalo Represents, Buffalo, traces, uncompromising value, the buffalo stance strong. It's the only bourbon with all literally literally there on the label. Traces made from Corn Ryan Barley amateurs twice as long as most bourbons this buffalo trace Bourbon Ages in new oak barrels around eight years for the robust yet balanced taste. Stop is smooth yet complex complex yet smooth summit say. The oldest continuously operated distilling America Buffalo Trace distillery has experienced more than its fair share about mercy's floods, fires, wars, recessions, provisions, and they've endured it all, and now they're enduring through the pandemic, and this is not going to slow them down. They're making more whiskey every.

Buffalo Trays American Buffalo Harlen Wheatley America US Wheatley Vodka Whisky Advocate San Francisco Kentucky River master distiller Van Gogh murder Google
"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

05:18 min | 1 year ago

"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"We got a boat we were on a boat elves never went where anyone else was. Perfect and then was so funny my wife. That we WANNA, jetskis with another family with us, we're on a jet skis and she went to pull up the Jetski and their offense emily x six black kids you know in the mom that were in in front of them in line, and it's all rented from Same Jet Ski Company. So they pulled their jetskis up I in the my wife and a friend, her jetskis up, and then the guy who's got all the Jetskis is also got a van take everyone back to the car and he's like all right ladies get in and my wife's like I'm not getting in there because there are six people in their. Walking he goes. the people I'm. Taking refused to get into the van because the other people are I guess they're black and millions like no. I'm not getting a black I'm getting because there's a fucking pandemic.

Same Jet Ski Company
"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

Bertcast's Podcast

05:53 min | 1 year ago

"chris porter" Discussed on Bertcast's Podcast

"So make sure to get tickets go see him. He is absolutely one of the best dudes working and I'm telling you right now it when everything kicked back up, he will be a forty five dollar ticket theaters that is without a doubt his amazing. So we talk a little bit about his friendships with kid, rock and with with with Zach, we talk about Zach Myers, just by. Zach Myers from chinatowns house Zach kind of giving his house when I was in Memphis so you're gonNA love this podcast. He's a great dude. Make sure to see his zoom Gimme the info. Again, it is on the twenty twenty eight at Rush Ticks Dot Com the twenty eighth of August at rush ticks dot com. His name is Chris Porter Ladies, and gentlemen without further ado today's broadcast Chris Porter. What's up Chris. What are? You ready all. Mask.

Zach Myers Chris Porter Memphis
"chris porter" Discussed on About Last Night

About Last Night

04:56 min | 1 year ago

"chris porter" Discussed on About Last Night

"There's no you're not from anything I used to always say so it's like I could make the bits were open ended. I can scream at John Stamos, and as he's walking with a with his nephew and blow my whistle and say I saw you're going too fast. Cool Guy. Go. Nice. I get it actor guy you're trying to have a moment with me. Or sleight of your script. I in a monkey Oh. Yeah. Crazy that you're here. I broke all the time and the monkeys by Dave Cooley as voiced by Dave Julia. If that was the case. I broke character. So many times it talked to like affects like Greg Maddox and fucking. With a bunch of kids and just looking at you and common, and I'm just doing all these bits and I remember I, just remember him so vividly just like. I'm doing all these bits with a kid just being like him just like most people this trying to get inside this trying to look past the costume. Fog Is this guy. Look at it and then looking this pool. Best. Is that Greg. Maddux yeah in my head. It's always like doing that sounded like the guy was about to kidnap my girlfriend and Ralph's. and. So he's looking the ice cream cone and then. I just come over to my dude I. Go I. Just it's a real honor to balking goddamn legend. Man He goes you allowed to break character comments fucking. It doesn't matter. You're fired I. Go look at what I'm wearing I usually. Levels. Again, man's buckets my job being great. My job. Buddy yeah. Let me do yeah Oh. Yeah, he is. Yeah. Every. Every game. Say. Every time we paint the coronavirus like Matic's. Would you get a cardboard cutout in baseball in the in the crowd? Have you thought about it? Yeah. I. Thought about it but I'd want it to be wanted to be right behind the plate I'm that vein. What's the point of doing it? If you such people that are like, Oh, you'll see at one time when they come out to relieve the Pitcher Oh, God? Yeah. No, I WANNA be bright behind there. But Also you know I'd probably like hold up a sign that says Andy Sucks. So. Just be a burden on my sister every time she watched the royals. That's brilliant i. Thought about. Basketball has the digital thing. You can like zoom yourself in. Yeah. kind of cool. But that also seems like that's just a recipe for disaster like some some guy affiliates got chat roulette written all over it absolutely like you can't I don't know who's controlling the board for the digital things. But at some point they're gonNA like swap in the way on Chat Roulette where you just be like okay. Dig Dig dictate what's up what's your name Emily? My brother wants to say some Off. Your like your brother got I, hope it's not your brother. And then like who's GonNa be like it'll be Paul Pierce and then like even the on the screens watching, it was like somewhat pixelated. So make just waiting for it to. Shake off and then somebody just jumps in other words especially in baseball have call INS. They have like people call in like via facetime. That's yeah. I was watching a game. They had Dave Roberts calling dude was in the car. Like can somewhere. What up Dave Roth. Up Shooter Fish. Life. Then, I forgot I had to do this thing what's going on Oh my God I don't even know if they're going to finish baseball dude. How are the rows alright there? Kovin. and. That's how a rapid guys go to rush tickets. Dot. com rush ticks rush ticks. Yeah. DAX Ti. Yeah. Much limbaugh got rush tickets. Does. Rush. Go Fuck Yourself. A. On instagram twitter I am Chris Porter. One of the funniest guys in the world I love you man, let me do brother I forgot your year Casey Hat and shirt that I bought two years ago. Now it's spring training. That I. Fuck. Come over and see the new place. There it is that Russia takes dot com I. AM Chris Porter and scream twitter and specials and albums out everywhere abso- prime all three of them fuck yeah. Now a out. Now, we got to bring back suck it. And? I feel like if you steal someone's anal beads, that's what you say to them. Okay, no, I think that's. So, let me you still there. EDELBI, you're like sucking. Might Beer. Are you saying that either way? But it's just a weird thing for you to say hold nail beds. What isn't weird to say holding anal beads. To Clinton. Got Everybody..

baseball Greg Maddox John Stamos Dave Cooley Chris Porter Ralph's. Dave Roth Dave Roberts Paul Pierce Maddux Dave Julia Basketball Matic Andy Sucks facetime twitter Clinton Emily Casey Hat limbaugh
"chris porter" Discussed on About Last Night

About Last Night

08:33 min | 1 year ago

"chris porter" Discussed on About Last Night

"Work the Improv in October sorry I, had a minor heart attack. This is the time to where like. You know I getting Cova tests, and then like you know should probably go get a regular checkup but for a while there, it was like came and go to the doctor. I. Was just like Fuck I better just not get hurt for a while s i. don't leave the House unless I have to that way like if I don't take little risk I, can go take the big ones like following boobs hotel room. Do. You are you think well, speaking of shows first of all, we need to talk about your virtual show, oh. Yeah. I got a big virtual show. Yeah. This is. I again, why people should be even more excited for. Virtual shows that are being done by people that are. Doing live shows it's like Oh, cool. The the muscle like you're accessing and flexing the muscle that you want from the virtual show that you because there's a lot of people that again aren't. For whatever reason decided to go out and perform live. Comedy clubs and I feel like you are at an advantage. If you're doing that somewhat and then you're because you're you're writing you perform you're just you're just more you're getting Repson and you're more. Polished an in the groove of things and. So tell everybody about this. So it's GonNa. Be You gotta go to rush takes DOT COM that's. H. T. X dot. Com Cam Bright. There Ya go to rush ticks dot com talking to you gauge. That is at the Chris Porter. Cam. Yeah. All right and It's fifteen dollars August twenty eight seven PM Pacific that's four PM Eastern and then you can fill it in mountain in central. Just do the math. And it's going to be a you know it's GonNa. Be Me in my our and then also I get to hang out after words I'll answer question Oh there's a forum where you can ask stuff so it's even better than alive show because normally during a live show of you asked a question I'd tell you to shut the fuck up and make fun of your date or whatever. I have different comedic styles where he wants the audience to give them stuff and I'm like if you say one fucking word, our fucking punch you after. So. It's why we don't do a lot of work together and fuses. So. But this one. Obviously I'm going to do it. You'll be able to post questions. I'll be able to hang out afterwards, but it's also fun because a lot of places I can't get to like if you've ever been on my instagram going why you've been to Salt Lake City well, fuck and stop asking and go to rush ticks DOT COM. Yes and I'll be in Salt Lake City virtually. Yeah and the reason why haven't been salt city is because they haven't asked. That's what I love about. Fans like, Oh, you just fucking hated here and you're like I've never been to billings Montana actually I have. It's a beautiful town. Yeah. I've never been to Cheyenne Wyoming but as soon as the comedy club a fucking be there right you do. Now you gotta there's no can't show up. I can't just show attitude. Yeah well, that's fucking. Dope. And you said you you. Knew our. Yeah. It's new ISH. I do some old stuff at the end I you should. He hits. That's the thing is for the longest time. I thought comedy and I I. Think it was for the longest time. No one wanted to hear the old stuff. Was Kinda thought of as. A low like, oh, we're going to hear that joke again but then I saw Ponette, I opened for Pinette years ago, John Pinette and he did this thing where he would go I have some friends in from out of town who asked me to do the old bit I, don't do it anymore but here it is and he would do the killer whale. Chinese buffet joke. Yeah no France for about a time knew everybody loved, and as soon as it started, people would lose their Goddamn Mites and so people would come up to me after the show you didn't do Taco Bell you didn't do rape nudge and I'd be like. Fuck it man let's see what Oh you know what it was. Bert Kreischer came up to me and was bitching about having to do the machine. You don't have to do it and he's like watch this and he went up we're at his show and he goes how many of you need to hear the machine tonight and fucking half the People And I was like any looked directly at me from staging goes good to know. And I just went home and relearned rape nudge and the Taco Bell Bit and so now I'm like here's a couple of bits and it's crazy dude it's I'll do the first line and people like yes. A maze and you get goosebumps and share I got goosebumps. That's a fucking amazing. That's like that's equivalent of Rockstar. A fucking a hit that is tried and true. The doesn't get old that people want to hear. That's what. I mean deep down. Went there probably four that dude and that you see the mouthed the words while sometimes they do the punchline right before you doing fuck it up anatole areas. That's amazing. That's well, this is why I've always said that you are in the the top tier of the best in the Biz working a because that's. that. Was the grossest thing. For sure but there's Actually. No. Where did that right after? The single women that I watch, and then we'll cut to go and Then I'll just be the pro bowl. Porter. Porter confessions that's just about a single women I was. be saying species anal built over a picture of. This, going like. J. Peg. Thumbnail also I'm pretty sure there will be a gift mate of me from the French bread thing. I. Will Be. The end of my career. We'll be going. I. I. All right. So rush takes dot COM rush dot com. It's fifteen bucks and that's just per screen I. Think you're going to do the show from your home I'm GonNa do the show from a house and see you'll get to see my apartment. That's cool Yeah. Just see all the women I watch. And? You gotTA. Be Collection callback call comeback and the and the floor that I slept on in. Hong. The'll place. Pass out of my new bathroom fuck man that's y'all have a lot more room to again I've blacked out I, think four times and I remember all of them because. I have injuries from them except for I. Think. Injuries or people around me that I still talk to remind me of it and but yours was the the first my favorite Lonzo around the first few times I think I kicked it with you outside of comedy. Yeah. Because Remember I. Felt Very Embarrassed let's be fair. We went to a free Tequila night yeah. Where the Tequila was free. And it was. Then we tried to eat we were trying to be my favorite line of the night. Was Me knocking on the bathroom door going? Hey, Adam, you gotta wake up holly needs to come in and throw. And you're not cool brought four minutes and he's like I got you, I. Won't remember somebody came in I, think the P. or wash their hands or something or because I didn't move at one point when someone needs to come in and signing one bathroom got multiple friends so. You're still cool but you're saying it's Over. I. Hope it wasn't pay. I hope it was wash your hands. Yeah. I I don't I honestly did I couldn't tell you. You're you're the floor was just got so cold imperfect and I'll never forget that and the general, but also was like, yeah, we drank so much and then and then you had such good such good pod and we have we had on the tube was fine. It was just when you have all the things lineup that good hang the good treats the good space you're in Hollywood, it's a weekend I got. Nine Dude I'm sitting there I'm like, I don't have to be Wolverine till eleven am tomorrow. Are. You still work at universal deterrent. Yeah. No Way. Up until Wolverine ended up until two, thousand ten and then or two, thousand nine, and then I was fear factor live in the New York Cop till two thousand eleven while. Now Look at you. The New York cop was the best. Oh, because that's you know that's when you got..

DOT COM TA Chris Porter Salt Lake City rape New York Cova Bert Kreischer Montana John Pinette Repson Cheyenne Wyoming H. T. Hong Pinette Taco Bell Hollywood Ponette
"chris porter" Discussed on About Last Night

About Last Night

08:50 min | 1 year ago

"chris porter" Discussed on About Last Night

"I might add something to do with that last part but he he you know I got sucked. But Crawford found some guy that yeah they've put chemicals whatever it's basically it's a it's the most. It's the the best well-produced infomercial for like it'll can sixty. You WanNa look ten again. and Cindy's got. She looks great. So you can't ask for a better spokesman and this doctor looks legit enough. He's not like a guy from botched on e. where he looks like like I don't trust demand like. fucking look like you've fucked up your own chin. But they have this people that are it just all adds up. So I want to begin I wonder if he tried it at home like it cut himself shaving like, fuck. Back time the so a new I'M GONNA call Gary can fix this. Wait what did you talk to her after that? Okay. So we literally sat behind them. During the show and I was dating this girl that was a model at the time and like listen. I would never normally do this but the girl obtains a model in your obviously Mount Rushmore style. Yeah. Can we can you do it? She's like absolutely. So we should this whole video where I'm like, wish your ears you like a wish you were here Blah Blah go to look at it. I had never switched it to video. What I've done is taken a picture of half my face and I was like I'm not fucking asking to Redo it. Will Never Happen Why not? I've thought take all ready and plus that story was way better I've felt. But her and her husband were there who is randy from Quaid Randy Johnson, the Pitcher guy from. Not Dose Akis. The CAST Amigos Guy fucking got a billion with Clooney, Randy Jesus and they're still in just you can tell they're still in love. It's the worst like there's hold their hands on each other's back pocket rose, and you're just like talking any money God dude what you who were you in another life? Do you think yeah they probably are that. Happy Right it's you look like that and you go. you go out and there's probably some dark secrets like what's GonNa come out like when you're just himself thing that's gotta be fucking Oh yeah. No way she's not doing the death becomes her thing. Bruce Willis. Every time she gets cut. Man That's amazing. Okay. So so kid rock How is brought on that cruise? Brad was that was a few years later concert. This was at the concert yeah. Because doesn't kid rock doesn't he famously have little people around him and stuff we had the one and then he died and I think he tries to keep them away now because of the reminders f. Yeah. Was it. So Brad, there was no your supercooled Brad Oh, but I mean was had his friend past years ago. I. Mean I think it's kit or kid see. died in like the early. Ought. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Which I love the fact that we're generation that gets to say that me to remember back in the arts backing off seven. Do that there's there's how do you feel about? Cancel culture. Big Question we get specific. How do you feel about being on stage with everything that's going on and when people say you after or before show crazy you just can't say say everything anymore boot you can't say stuff. Listen they can dig up a bunch of stuff that you said from years ago I think that shits fucked up because that implies it no, one can learn. Like if you bring up a tweet from two thousand twelve. And they haven't said Shit like that since they probably learned a lesson or something. Yeah. Or if you do and it's like shit if I've got tweets from twenty, twenty, two of talking about anal beads. Yeah and then they pull up this pod. Hey, fine. That's a pattern. That's. You're talking about at once eighteen years ago and then now. Obviously, obsessed my God. That's how people associated, right? Yeah. But I also think people are over canceled culture I. Think it's Kinda hit. It's peak. I mean people are always going to let like you're always going to have a bad day I. Give Shit comes out. There's going to be the day it happened. I. Think the real test is the next day have there been a treats or snacks that you've allowed yourself to enjoy during the pandemic that you would normally. Yeah Yeah. But did buy a tub of pub cheese the couple of weeks ago the fuck is that it was just. Like a diplomat, you can take crackers and it's like a whip cheese that you can just love that Yeah Vida not pub flavor. Chatter, it's a whip Cheddar. Nice. Anchor barrel not even a brand just rows pub cheese. Carey's pudge. Baby. That's no. That's it in the top left corner. That's the Brandolini Shit. Yeah dip anything in that day and triscuits are have a sturdy enough girth to where you can get in there with it. Okay. So it's not the smoothest of cheeses. But it's it's better than. Milton Cheddar in the micro even dude, there's Your. It looks like someone threw up cheese. That I was telling you about. My Ralph's experience because I was telling you that I moved closer to. The Rock and Roll Ralph's And you said you had some stories about this grocery store. I didn't realize how famous rock and Roll Ralph's was. It's a Goddamn freak show. It is what it is. It's I I used to hear stories about it and especially late night and you know I've been in La now for twenty years and Really Fifteen or sixteen post college where I lived in La and experienced the grocery stores on the record as far as Ralph's Data USA was more like food for less and. Were stores even like you Ralph still too but just rows wasn't. There were just closer ones that were cheaper and yeah, more five by buddies even worked at some of them and and. But but the grocery store late experience. Should I worked at Albertson's in highschool. fucking late is, weird La Grocery store late I feel like it's probably got to be the top of the mountain is. Absolute. Chaos that that it looks like a skid row concert got let out and they all decided Gauche wrapping. What is dropping its grocery shopping, but they're all fucked up on. They don't have time for all the words. So they Gauche Robin A method is buying at twelve thirty and they're not buying anything. They're not driving it and running. Well, I've done that I was baked. I. Got Banned from Q for a year for the first UFC grocery store. It's like a Safeway Albertsons Ralph. Okay. That's not like some weird fight club quality food centers. Okay. Cool. It's a fact fight club sounds like Quincy Jones had a fight club. UFC The coolest job. Ever it was. It's a bit to find grocery store got banned for a year from stealing. I got highs balls with my friends friend from college on Waiter Meth. We'd okay time did a gravity bong did like nine ribs in this thing could not even walk but somehow stumbled into a QC gravity bong is basically being assaulted with weed smoke. Oh, it's. It should not ever be suggested unless you're I don't know just bought Semaine beads and don't WanNa feel him upon entry. Can you not get weeding your body fast enough let's force it in. It was it looked so fun and it was his friend. He didn't even smoke by the way we went to her and it was like in a little kitchen and everything about it screamed single white female and and I was just like a college right? was that rabbit. Rabbit in there. Yeah and so get. So I go to the grocery store all I remember thinking was I want a leader of Cherry Pepsi and a loaf of bread at some point I knew how the moon just today. Probably but I envisioned myself shaking big bite of the French bread bread whatever those loaves that are on the rack at Albertson's Mary the Bakery Gal would always roll out as opposed to the breadth artist loaves. No I mean long single one. Okay as our French bread. Garlic breads. So I'd take a hot one of those with the fucking cold leader, Gerry Pepsi and just can. You got it man bite. SWIGS swigs. Favorite repeats a thousand percent a high kids dream especially.

Roll Ralph Brad Oh Albertson UFC grocery La Grocery Crawford Cindy Gary Bruce Willis La Mount Rushmore UFC Cherry Pepsi Gerry Pepsi Randy Johnson Safeway randy Milton Cheddar Quincy Jones Gauche
"chris porter" Discussed on About Last Night

About Last Night

01:50 min | 1 year ago

"chris porter" Discussed on About Last Night

"Have a killer agent that is on the front lines of light no-one everything and everybody and being like fuck and if you WanNa, make it happen. Let's make it happen, which is great. I was ready just because I, know you can be secluded as you want like even before pandemic like they were comics that you never talked to the audience never saw anybody walked in the back door. So I knew it was a possibility. And I said did Tempe and they were Like military about it, they walked me to the stage. They walked off the stage to my car made sure everyone had mass on. Getting those nobody there hey, guys comedian right here. Hope you're enjoying this episode of the about last night podcast boy I. Tell You I've been feeling good lately and the reason why Koi CB that's right back in the game feel like a bestself look question is the best CB company in the business i. don't care what you hear from other people are the comics quiz. She cbd see I got so much be CD inside me I ain't fucking talk in you know why? Because I slept well on the KOI CD Gumy's that's right. They've got everything from teachers, bath bombs to Gumy's. Got Skin line coming soon they got hand sanitizer during these times. It's very important. So which WanNa do if you want to start filmmaking bestself you wanNA take some Bombs put him in the bath. What? Yeah come on. Jackson ad my podcast can you say? You, CBD? Gumy's. Come from Koi. Koi coys the best client the. It makes me feel good. Great I feel myself. Look at these muscles. Because.

Gumy CB Tempe Bombs Jackson
"chris porter" Discussed on About Last Night

About Last Night

08:41 min | 1 year ago

"chris porter" Discussed on About Last Night

"Articles like those are terrible. We had to go the hospital with those. Remember that juice supposed to glow in the dark heads up, they don't not not after the first time. Anyway. Granted you know it was Taco Tuesday it was poorly planned on our in our part but. Thank God for rubber sheets? Let's say. Who by the way is not poorly planning anal beads are involved I feel like there's never a lack the whatever the excursion or event was that that the beads were were designed around is never going to end without somebody being like, do you know where he is or where Shit like somebody's getting lost or someone's getting accused of murder anal beads has a lot of negative connotations and I say this by the way. Not Ever have. experimented. With them but also this cove is get me a lot closer to just throwing caution to the wind on all fronts. See on my on my experience most of the time when people who talk about anal beat it's been a positive experience Oh shit do tell but again I'm not from Seattle. I feel like when the days are grayer darker things happened. When. People skip from beads I think to to suicide probably a lot quicker. Yeah. If the days get to dark up in the North West but also, but also if you're thinking about suicide triangle. Maybe that's what was missing. There's no better. Contrast, I mean, because if you're GONNA end, you might as well knock it off your list. I wonder how much? Yeah. That would mean when I've had some dark days and not heading down that track but but really being like what can pick me up out of my gloom I'm usually like. You know exercise music work even but anal beads is probably at least thirty things down the list but as long as it's there. Is. There is there motto Suicide. That's what anal beads the guy who came up with goes dude. He belong to go out of the way to get these. But by no one, they can get them. Yeah and knowing that it's something that they can do before they kill themselves is all we want to be known for for sure. We're like a seatbelt cutter you're probably not going to use this. But man if you need us, you're GONNA be glad you had us. What? About five review pages deep there's a testimonial like I was on the brink bro it was just me and the my chemical romance box. And I thought I was GONNA and it, and then I, tried anal beads in the my friend Cheryl came over Oh yeah and now I'm back with my band. Oh Yeah. All the good things that come from aside from just keeping your heart beating. Yeah it's just bad. got a haircut. I. Just have a New Anal bean perspective on life. where it's just like. Life is great. Now, how many can you and for the viewers at home we will transition to other topics of Combo but but if you're gonNA talk about anal beads, you should open with it. And also peel back all the layers. Yeah. GonNa lead into the. Also what? There's just you're doing yourself a disservice to not I think about it too if you are at A. Social Gathering or barbecue that you weren't invited to in your the Plus One and you find yourself in A. You know you're real good at this where you can just chump with about anything and let's say the conversation leads heavily towards beads freight who's going to be the first but we're talking like I'm talking to arts and crafts beads. Okay. was going to be the first one to be like because I feel like. I would venture to assume nine out of ten people hear the word beads, and again, this sounds like the guy who created the company. When they hear beads, they immediately go anal and then. You know someone's going to play devil's advocate and book and go well no, there's I think they're probably thinking of like. But both are equally as weird. Yeah. That's the problem. Young people that deal beads definitely shove stuff there. But butthole. hippy dippy. Definitely been to like six Bonnaroo. Yes, they follow. Follow dead and Co. happy about mayor but they're dealing with it. They went to Bernie burning man just to get a new pair of shorts wouldn't this guy that has van with shorts in it but yeah. But they used to go back in the day before it got super corporate. Yeah. Yeah. Those are the people the deal in beads and you know especially a burning man they're like. Yelling, shove some stuff up abroad. The. Yeah. My Buddy from college, his family owner still owns a bead shop real and again with the first thing that I would you know go in there and college and we Just to get some beads and I remember for your friendship bracelets for whatever was going to your DNB. This one's for Carter. And yeah he got one dread with the beat on it. I remember him saying like is I guess Weirdos come in here I was like, no shit. I would fit beach jobs. Exclusively, like there's gotTa be like, you've gotTa have like you know your side Bernstein sideburns must be this thick before you get into the things that you're just like when you see people. Grow, store wherever and I even saw this infomercial on TV their day for this guy that was like a car accident attorney slash like plastic surgery attorney. So he was like, have you been in an accident and you face got fucked up and? Or have you did you something happened to your face and you try to fix it and they fucked it up but the guy who was like giving the whole spiel looked like he had it was a wig sirens were so big his face looked like the face of like like in face off when Travolta and cage switched. Yeah. If that just went horribly wrong, that's what this guy looked like if the doctor for that did the original joker did it Yeah you. Look like a Batman Villain doctor and but anyway so. So I'm wondering if when people hear beads, how many just immediately go to go anal. If the marketing department is doing their job everyone everyone. Yeah. How are you? I'm great man. I'm glad to be out of the apartment when you were like, do you want to do this digitally I'm like, no, I'll risk cova can good. Yeah and what point did you sale risk risk the COVID I I felt that pretty early our actually a month and a half in and then but that's also when I when it looked like things may be on the upswing to like. Being somewhat under control but but now I mean I know you and I both are among a few that have traveled. Yeah which. I just WanNa, get your take on Matt even from the Gecko, where you like 'cause some clubs I think are doing it right some unfortunate in cities that. Aren't doing it right like Fox I ask. A History Guy Anyway. On the right side baby. But also I don't really I didn't really pay attention in history. It's more about my history or by by perception of what it might have been like my fire Fox history right were. which I delete every day. So my wife doesn't say. A but I mean, I. Think everyone the amount of post I see from comics that are posting pictures and like can't wait for this I mean people are losing their shit and. I. I just always had faith that like it's GonNa be at some point obviously our choice to go out but that clubs however many will. Be In a position to do it right and make it safe and then it's like, yeah, there are some things that. The the the fact that it is different from what it was before I think is what some people just don't even WANNA participate in. Well I. Feel that this we've never been in a greater time to be not that successful, which is right where I'm at 'cause it's like these are about as many people that we're going to show up. Anyway we just. Took on the empty tables out not true I. Guess You're right but you crush and you sell out but there's but there is your did you did you even have the thought of like I I'll just wait until this all gets better or were you like I'm definitely going to be at the front of the line because you know you mean Brad..

attorney murder Seattle North West Cheryl Brad Bernstein Travolta Carter Co. Matt
"chris porter" Discussed on When Last I Left

When Last I Left

06:42 min | 1 year ago

"chris porter" Discussed on When Last I Left

"Kill Timothy and get back to Derek's and make the beat drop. Yeah he want to specify one thing he said we have to kill Timothy as violently in Atlanta as possible. Yeah in order to drive up and he said it's okay. He's a program I promise and then he winked at three or four times when I don't know what that meant the program. Yeah he's a pro real mercy and so I said cool that me some weapons. We're going to do this. And instead instead of Zapping I just gave you one of the multi and then he said go and all of a sudden the ground started crumbling underneath and we have to run in writing to Timothy Timothy who was running past one the to the bathroom the places dividers on the urinals and I disappeared and he got self conscious. Try Zip up real fast. Yeah and that was her like one. He was distracted for that one moment. We caught up to him. Yeah and then. Chris tackled him. Chris tackled in and then so you were very violent throwing stars. I don't know where she got it all on the fifty There's probably six still in my back. I will get them. Don't it was like Bush. Well he wasn't much she just had throwing stars all over here to really get in then I took that stick a dynamite that I had from not from cool and then I stuck it in one of the holes that had star in it and I lit it and he was like Bre. Aw Thank your but jobs. You've got to go. And then he was a one two three four and we blasted lasted and he was somehow somehow still at least conscious at that point. Yeah Yeah and that's when we were inside the game so he blew up. The parts of the Was Very Realistic Looking. And he did say a few times. I'm actually a real person. I'm I'm not just a program and we were like no from the game master. We know you were not. And that's when he looked up to you he told the one last joke the one last joke. Yes actually it was brilliant joke It is a little bit long though so I wonder is it. Okay if I tell the whole thing last words we should pay but yeah so these guys go up she. They're and they're they're company a building to go up to the top floor. There was the bar after work. And they're sitting there. They're having drink and down. The Bar could company yes absolutely down in the bar is is an old drunkards sitting there and he just kind of hey is chuck. And they're like yeah. Sure whatever the guy goes up to a window whips it open and jumps out and he's falling falling falling. I mean just a few feet before he hits the ground flies back and lands back in the winter. Like what the Shit and he's like. Yeah and they're like how did you do that. He's like buy me a a couple of drinks not say about it and slave go back to the bar they buying a couple of drinks and he's like here's the secret directly below that window is is a subway vent and and if you schedule here if you time it right the updraft is enough to push back in this window. He has to try. And you're like no his quotes. have some more drinks the next few more drinks and into your arms at this point your head and his elbow. Yeah I think he was holding onto the lake but he's still saying you know what. Try It guys come and go and these two guys jump out falling. They're falling they're falling. They're falling they're falling. Slap di no wind at all drunk and he goes and sits down John and the drink. The bartender walks up and gives them a glass. And he says you Real Aso when you're title your real asshole when you're who you crushed his. Hey you just hilarious crushing. They were there and we realize we were working together. One started popping up on baton like in the background came one two three four through again. We were like well. There's only only one thing we can do is to keep this story going and go back to where it all started so we have to make that. Yes we picked up some of the still left pieces of Timothy just in in case we needed drumsticks and so we went back to house one. Yeah okay all right off. A House still had not draw did it. It it is time went up there and I said ladies and gentlemen the Chris Border Experience held up an actual growing that was still covered in dirt. Drop it on the go. Boom boom boom boom here. I mean we did come and tell the story but Yeah you're gonNA Derek's how did we win the game. Wait a minute we just. We did win the game not did he didn't even walk out. He's just not here now Chris Porter experience. Well that's what now. What does does that make us if Chris Porter isn't in the Chris Porter experience anymore? Oh God programs by are we starting over again as BB's Kula we cool. Where'd you go? What Kennedy Kennedy's Yelm scared? Kula Mickey Mickey. I don't see her your hands disappear anymore face. Your earrings are still there though combined Jamie I just want to point out that I.

Timothy Timothy Derek Chris Porter Bush Kennedy Kennedy Mickey Mickey Atlanta Jamie John
"chris porter" Discussed on When Last I Left

When Last I Left

08:30 min | 1 year ago

"chris porter" Discussed on When Last I Left

"Take a Lotta food patterns. Don't send her free garlic bread garlic like bread but we were sitting here. We're having a great time. We were just wondering why he was so weird. Yeah Yeah it was. Timothy was great. He was telling us all sorts of jokes that joke he told us there was the one Oh Gosh what was it about. Oh is the one about You know listen was a guy who is drowning and this boat came by four. There's this guy who was drowning inches change because this is you know yeah. I don't think it's impressive. Listen Dammit Hi guys drought wade into water. He's he's having a hard time swimming. This book come inspire like hating any help. He says no I don't God will save me. And they they go away. Another boat comes by and say hey. Do you need any home. He Says No. I don't God will save me. The boat goes away. The Guy Drowns the heaven. He's like God. Why don't you save? He's like you idiot. Sent you to boat. That's good lesson. No No it's a joke but it's like it's you picked a variant Timothy. Pick pay Pittsburgh I Timothy Pickering Barry Intense joke very very deep philosophical mentioned. We're there were we blew making this philosophical then when we came a well we we came to the table then he was finishing joke with something about like slicing. Someone's head off and you guys were laughing and I was like. What do you do when you really bored I? Yeah so we sit down and I was like sorry. Sorry sorry I know encouraged by this point I did. I still did not know his name. I guess so. I was like we don't want to encourage the sky. Yeah even though it was in Europe and I I was like Hey What's your name? Tim Timoti left Timothy. I was like. Yeah Yeah Yeah I got you use the bathroom. You gotTA use the bathroom. uh-huh well from what you're absolutely right. I do need no. Here's the crazy part is that he stood up and walked straight to the bathroom because all of the tables between us and the bathroom had gone. They were Oregon. They were just not there anymore. Yeah also the Coffee Pot was just floating through the air and then all of a sudden yeah and all of a sudden a a symbol pop pop up over your head popped up all having Stravinsky how this seems. Have that thing Over the headlines popped over your head money sign and it was depleting depleting. Yeah Yeah it was. We were like what is happening right. Now Yeah I I and I was like you guys. I don't know what's going on. The world seems topsy-turvy but Timothy is a serial killer and we gotta kill him and they didn't believe so. We had to show you the letter from future Chris and we read it and we were like this is Practicing Motivational get made fun of me for a while. I started crying again. We made up. It's okay it's a whole family. Did say this is pretty damning. What exactly makes you think that this timothy is that Timothy Timothy is a very common name so I said what was that joke? He told about God sending the two boats and there was also a picture of Timothy. Yeah mostly the they also like a really big picture of started saying like you guys like. Didn't you notice that he had had like knives on him at the car but he was all bloody. He was blessed shirt was bloody. I thought it was a toss. It wasn't a costume party. But better thing you costume parties is that yes. Derek dance dance. I don't care what you guys see Derek Outta hair you know. His money sign above. His head is multiplying multiplying. He's got the most. Yeah got like the YELP thing with drilling and my head start trying to like wave at it to see you start spinning inside and then all of a sudden this waitress interest comes over and says you have reached level forty two and we're like what the hell what what we said. No this is the no-ho diner. Yeah that's right. Which is weirdly in downtown? Call it the most because because North Hollywood is downtown. uh-huh sure right. Different Joke is in downtown north. Hollywood so I WANNA go. WHO's allowed? No Oh gosh. Wow Chris depleted even more very. That's very you made reference sooner or was it actually because we were now in one to four downtown. And he didn't do anything about it so I think we were in the diner which we just didn't place where it the change because diner disappeared right. So we're on the streets downtown right. And then my goat bleats back into existence jalopy again only. Yeah I think you need a new disappeared though no I liked it because it was different version of difference talking talking okay and then and then he said see I have to tell you. Oh you do a better than I and we're like what what what's the secret. What completely talking? What was the secret well? At this point the diner disappeared. Go talking our ratio. I it was around this point win the diamond superior above your heads is yes. Yeah in but yours. We're all doing fine. Mine was still depleting. The glow of ours actually stronger under. Yeah who's interesting. But the go told US jalopy to told us You are inside the Chris Porter experience. Yeah and we were like no. Oh No we're not. We're we're here and Chris is there and we're not inside him and he said this is Chris. Christie's life is relation and we all went plant. And we're all playing the game and then he showed us on a screen. Our players the people that are playing and we had remarkably gone into a completely different space. One one two three four and it was like it was a control room. The screen watch the Jalopy. How are are you in charge of all of your outside of the? He's not a good. This is just as form that he likes to take in the game Harris Interesting Adrift. The guy in the room with all the TV's show 'cause that's where my mind ninety dollars jalopy he's a real dude. We treat him like he's a real deal. I know he has his hand. He's just not really a goat and his way of playing the Chris Porter experience was to be my my support goat gotten really bored but he had decided while he spent thirty five. VR In this game. He might as well come back. And just give you a heads up. And that's why he put Timothy in and it's because he was so bored that he needed like he it was GonNa shut the game down. Yeah so we have to. He was saying like you were losing. Because I was so boring you were losing Exponential amount of. I'm said that the people were not buying a huge turn off the people and they were GonNa shut down apparently horrible. Oh horrible jokes that I am then forced to share PAS sections which then become grossly ashamed of so then he said well you have to do is.

Timothy Timothy Chris Porter Timothy Pickering Barry Pittsburgh YELP Europe Oregon US Stravinsky Derek Tim Timoti Hollywood Christie Harris
"chris porter" Discussed on The Smoking Tire

The Smoking Tire

13:08 min | 2 years ago

"chris porter" Discussed on The Smoking Tire

"Amazon prime ugly angry and a man from Kansas of seeing them both they're both hilarious I see this through the comedy store all the time and unlike a lot of other comics that come on this show Chris actually knows a lot about cars and so rather than spend running too much time talking about comedy we actually spend most of the time talking about cars all right so it's comedian Chris Porter on the entire podcast what folks smokin tire podcasts on time today it is of a broader yeah it is my pleasure to have Chris in studio hello what's up man drive into the westside thank you for your client was I'll do the intro of your bio do that shit at home yeah okay you when I first saw you on stage at the cellar it was one of the funniest like fifteen or twenty minutes sets not the seller excuse me Sir communality store and I saw ugly and angry and Holy Shit was that a fucking great al thank you one of my favorite specials of the first ones are always the good ones because you have like six years to work on it yeah yeah pretty rocks and then there's a timetable heard comics talk about that this first one you get your whole that's your whole life's work for sure Panzer the same way always amazing and then the second album they're like we add a year the year we had seventy years on the last one man and so is that so I just but I I saw the man from Kansas this morning very good thank you man from Kansas man from Kansas I apologize I watched a high then high now you go to the treadmill high elliptical yeah I get in the zone zone not like crazy crazy huh so by the time wears off the runner's high kicks in tailoring yeah now I do cross fit and are you serious I'm putting too much weight above my head to be stoned or you got to focus and like you start to lose form real quickly because you got to move fast move fast and you have to be very in tune with your body what you think you would be when you're hi you're totally not and ask like you have to if you don't keep correct form you can fuck yourself up a re cussing on this yeah yeah tell you can fuck yourself up real good I mean you fucked yourself on the way to fucking Chris comes in going on crashed on my electric skateboard and she's the greatest thing I've ever bought yeah I doubted driving like once a week Gotcha 'cause I live in Hollywood I can skate to the clubs and all that stuff also check it at the coat check I just put it on the bar awesome set the bar and oh that's great and but yet today a bump snug up above it's been there every time I and it snuck up on me and speed wobbled and it was gone which what model board is it's the Halo Board it's an amazing board it's made by the company's great too because I fucked it up I'm separated the truck from the housing when you crashed you mean when I yeah that's happened a while actually that time I didn't crash I kept my feet and like an airplane landing with no landing in it was more like a new rudo run with me arms flailing and so but Senate in I had to pay to fix it because it was my fault but they they got it all set up it looks and they fixed if they didn't need to fix so they were real cool but tim has that his little different his has more of like a like a scroll wheel for your thumb controlled it triggered thirty Chris has done fastest sketchiest Oh yeah ever it it goes I think twenty five twenty six miles an hour twenty four as have you go do you go yeah I was doing about eighteen when I did it today yeah you know because there was a speedometer It was the first time I was alert through the entire crat glass like every other time it's just been a blur the time I like saw my glasses fly off felt the belt the asphalt grabbing butts helmet now I saw dude on it Autumn Bird Scooter with a helmet house I I'd rather fuck and I live in Venice which is like mobility scooter capital of the universe sure they actually had been like a major act down because they were allowed to ride all over the place and it was fucking yard sailing left it was incredible really but they've they've banned them they like Geo fence the off the bike paths so now to writing them on the street the street is kind of fucked up and there's cars and it's just a disaster but like you got a sign that little fucking check box waiver bullshit but never seen someone do as in San Francisco the unicycle he was wearing a downhill mountain bike how comet and a textile motorcycle jacket back who is like forty five years old like going to work he was dressed like he's about to go read motocross if I have one in adware the rocketeer helmet that brash it with the rudder and those are the ones actually I'm GonNa be honest especially in California those are kind of the ones to get with the big wheels because the roads here Jack Bird Scooter on the cracked roads is this shadiest we gone I had to do a new route over on a big one and I managed to run it out and someone restaurant game ending videos especially when you see the older dudes just e the job just a full face and then those those are the ones to get if you live around one wheel. My brother-in-law commutes to work on one of these things and he loves you look like a giant dish for fucking person's helmet what has happened with that helmet it's not the trash can he it it looks like it was a colander Vietnam colander oh I missed that so I missed the original so much I wish that I was Jeremy hadn't punched dude although I kind of felt like I started feeling they did every possible joke yeah like I don't WanNa say they jump the shark because there obviously the best in the world at this Gig for God they had fucking ten years like meat yeah and then it was like okay got overproduce but like a Randall two thousand twelve thousand eighteen th on fire so great on fire and even grand tour it's so over produced but the car stuff is when they do they know how to shoot cars when you when you throw money and talent at shooting cars yeah I Anzac works on a on a produced a show Dr on NBC Sports Area Doing ah sort of Sunday nights all that high-performance ev stuff have you seen this show Chris Drive on NBC sports and then proving grounds proving grounds probably like because it's an eighty s sort of the eighties car show styled theme like silly show out in the desert oh yeah I I liked the I was at the comedy store one nine and a guy was talking to an audience member I do sound and this was before they had left the BBC goes I do sound for this BBC show he goes I do the music top gear and the I didn't know who it was and I was in the back freaking the fuck out by that's a guy that does music meet that Guy then I got high and forgot about it yeah it was a they your show like that it's like you WanNa meet the fucking key grip like I don't care what he does tell me everything somehow get me there so I can watch one of these things go you know who I know from that show is Richard Porter who was the script editor. WHO's a great person I know because he wrote a lot of the great jokes yeah and like all those things about the stig like this some say shit he wrote every fucking one of those red yeah he's a onerous guy ever ought to have on the podcast he's over from England we have them a lot I- superfund site is a sniff petrol dot com he's really funny writer I love shows about cars wait do so I found out like you commented on Instagram post a mind the you're jealous of my life meanwhile I'm jealous of your life yet no Ma'am I don't know alive if you're jealous of renewed I go to Indiana and tell jokes next to a chucky cheese meanwhile you're driving the newest Ferrari around some race tracks that's true but at the same town where the race tracks are so once I go home from the race track it's the same as what's going on I'm from the Comedy Club where you're not famous there's no more ferraris and you're in the same fucking motel sure but no but I right like I just love hang out with comics so you're here I'm glad to be here man I love like my grandpa my uncles mechanics and had a server the station that is now a Taco joint how depressing but Yeah so the I remember I had a nineteen seventy cutlass convertible in my formidable team in years yeah and I remember taking by this time I alkyl had left and gone to another service station Visiting Kansas Kansas and I took it to him and he like Oh we're going to fix it and by we I mean you and I are in like I had to put new bushings on this thing the coolest part was used the pneumatic gun oh yeah learn from like an extension of your Dick Cheese I was like let me just let me change let me rotate the tires again just for fun impact onto the best and you know what he was even like any any air tool I mean really really compressed air is the best force for power superhuman anymore torquing just one finger off can I tell you the best feeling ever with compressed air is plugging in a race car that has air Jack Jack's work there literally you plug in the fucking air hoses the cargo and hops off the ground because it's got pistons in it Oh really stand up like a pogo stick most race cars because they're lighter like not for a win the carpools interest to get like tires changed usually they'll jacker to work on it Oh really light system if they can use yeah and then they put these aluminum stanchions underneath it just in case okay really fresh Air Piston there's a car it you just plugged into hoes things stand on these little posts let's cool that's the Topa should ever By Lincoln Mark it's not really had had a ride system in it those those markets for Radd those already to valve mark was the coolest car I ever it was the future it really and I remember I bought it in like oh three it was the diamond anniversary of the ninety six and you got in it and it's like in your case Cast Living Room yes in everything was just molded around you like a cockpit was all swoopy and curvy and it just sat on it just sat on the Road compared to the ninety four Astro van I traded in forest got such great gas mileage will had actual aerodynamics the Astros driving in the rear doors like a sale had the engine on for like three miles I worked I worked in high school at a fucking Lincoln Mercury Taylor and we took one of these mother fuckers on trade and it was Kinda beat and we just kept it as a runaround car and so I spent a lot of miles like running to the DMV and back in this thing who the painted grills found a good one dude I see a rat has turned into a CO convert made a converter oh really shit remember the very famous early Youtube video that had the power door that like slid into the bottom no okay so the whole side the car yeah you'd probably find a Gif of its AC the whole side of the car like a garage door they're hearing sliding Dr except we could probably play this as fair use right like watch the blue lessons in structural regime already Paul I gotTa Saran wrap a cool way which which w was it had something similar just slid Zia WBZ one we had a plastic body.

BBC Amazon Kansas NBC Vietnam Chris Drive Guy Jeremy Randall editor Richard Porter forty five years twenty minutes seventy years six years ten years
"chris porter" Discussed on The Church of What's Happening Now

The Church of What's Happening Now

04:31 min | 3 years ago

"chris porter" Discussed on The Church of What's Happening Now

"Take a look at might the college order them. I think they're great. I think they great if you travel. You know, I've been, I play by myself. I tried. I Bill couple of EPA scape. I do a couple of fucking bridges. I do a couple sprawls. I'm an old man, but at least I'm moving. Listen, have a great weekend. I love you motherfucker. Thank you for listen to Henry Rollins. Thank you for listening to my man. Chris porter stay safe, Kansas City. See you mother. Fuck this tomorrow, and I really liked that Buchan down by have a great weekend. See you Monday morning. That's. Most we can do. Calls. Just. Junk.

Henry Rollins Chris porter Buchan EPA Kansas City