18 Burst results for "Charlie Hedges"

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

04:14 min | 2 weeks ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"There. This is charlie hedges. And you're listening to the next chapter with charlie and my very special guest is attorney theresa mcqueen who is so experienced and and really not a renegade but she has her own views of what what happens between client and move became. The relationships in courtroom were outside courtroom. And i wanna pursue. Something theresa is known for on her show. That just so intrigued me. That said i have to. This is why. I had to have therese on the podcast right now. Theresa i wanna have a bit more of an intentional discussion on a subject that has lost in our country. Today's totally lost in our country. Today and we and we need it desperately and that is the idea of ken. We just be nice. I was led to believe that you say in trial work or in depositions are in whatever. You're doing that if people were just nicer. You wouldn't have a job and that will never happen because first of all you'll always have a job and second of all people are not going to be nice. But i would love for you to talk about. What does being nice mean to you on that civility side of things that the nice factor is sort of interesting. I think when. I was litigating. My my feeling was people had just shown more civility professionalism respect for the person that they were dealing with. I think that Things would have been different. I could see how things would go differently as far as being nice. It's it's a good way to put it I kind of laugh. Because when i do civility training i ended up saying at some point like i'm not the nice police and i'm not here to tell you to be the nicest person who really really because you know. I'm an attorney. I can't always be the nicest person in the room. But what. I can always be always strive to be is professional and civil courteous and show. Respect to the other person again simply. Because it's you know that's my work environment. I wanna make sure. I have a work environment. That i can that i enjoy working in and if i have at least professional relationships with.

charlie hedges theresa mcqueen theresa charlie Theresa ken
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

02:37 min | 4 months ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"Rest do nothing. I'm seventy one going on forty you are. You are exactly well. It gives hope to all of us that there's a next chapter in our lives. Whatever that life is. It isn't the we're not the end of the book yet. We're not at the end of the road. It ain't over till it's over right. It's not now. I would encourage listeners as we're wrapping this this show up. I won't let you know we have a whole new process going on and that is we hired. Melissa is a delay delay. See how melissa delay see as a programming expert who is show booker show booker. And she has booked the most incredible episodes. You will already heard. I've seen dead people and you've already heard The c- the title is living without regret. And the show is is making a turn and we're really going for. There will still be several shows with terry nine with people that i know but we're going for wider do author new authors wider net wider perspective. And so i encourage you to listen because the show. I think is only going to get better just like your next chapter. It's only getting better. I applaud you for taking the step. The leap of faith into the show and being reactive and listening enough to react when you heard the opportunity and you went for it. Thank you paul and to keep with it because it ain't easy right. It's easier to quit than it is to go forward. Sometimes you know it's easier to quit when things get tough. Yeah that is the challenge of all of us isn't it is when things get tough we wanna say. Look i just wanna bail. I don't want to deal with it. And but isn't that test of faith or the test of marriage or the test of any sort of belief or commitment. It's only when the going gets tough that you find out if you're really committed to this or not and what you're made of such is the way of god. I want to thank everybody for listening to the next chapter with charlie and i wanna thank producer paul for his excellent question in in the last three episodes it has been we just did this on a wing and a prayer lot of prayer and i just had a blast. I hope you enjoy and Until we come to our next regularly scheduled. Podcast this is charlie hedge signing off and by for now and love to all..

charlie Melissa charlie hedge forty paul seventy one melissa delay terry three episodes nine
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

05:32 min | 4 months ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"But not everybody does. If you recall we did quite a bit of work. You know. I i did. For over a year. I had a personal coach. Dina crowder and She was exceptionally helpful. Came on the show many time. Yes and she talked about Archetypes and that each of us have nine archetypes in two of my critical archetypes were the explorer and curiosity and the curious person clearly. This show anybody's listening to show more than a few episodes. Know that you have to do. And i tell people when they say what kind of show do you have and they say well look at the episode titles might either my podcast titles on my blog. Titles and they're all over the map. It's just whatever. Charlie is interested in curious because he's a curious person and i think if you have and willing to explore lots of different things i did in the show. You weren't sure where it was going to have the time. Not sure the interviews are gone but you keep exploring the issue in question and whatever breaks curiosity in your mind and i think that's what creates this serendipitous sort of life is a curiosity and openness to observe and to evaluate something different. Something you never thought you would be interested in. I never i always thought. I admired charities but i never thought i would. I couldn't see myself involved in any kind of chair. No power possession or prestige involved in charity work no power prestige none of those three. Ps that we all strive for and we've all been taught to do that. He you know. Let's take that back there. Those sends are true in charities as well. While ben and i see many of the people working charities are all about they want power and control. They they want to be known as the best one and maybe not possessions. But it's powerful very much but as you know centuries of avalon's teaching me all the time now it's about selflessness and it's about humility and i.

Dina crowder Charlie two nine archetypes each over a year ben critical archetypes three more than a few episodes avalon
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

05:48 min | 4 months ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"Hi everybody charlie hedges. Next after charlie and we are in the final little episode. While i am in uganda. This is episode three. And we're going to wrap up our time of talking about The impact of next chapter and my adventures with wells of life I m in uganda. Now i am working with the leaders in the workers of our team we have i. I should know the number exactly but it's ten to twelve workers in uganda. They are all african except for our deputy director. Who is romanian there. Are you know people. From the united states running operations in uganda. Except me. And i run it from the united states. I am there now and producer. Paul has questions for me. And so i want. He has some sort of personal questions. That i'm interested in and so i'm curious what he has ready for this kind of course while you're gone charlie. What are we going to do to keep the show rolling here. We just do some reruns. I said get open. Get real and so the first episode we talked about. What did you really get out about this. Overall journey of the next chapter discovered your next chapter and you talked about the passion and purpose you talked about the impact and you talked about the influence that you feel like. You're having even at this these last later stages in your life here when normally were in that long fade to black and it doesn't mean anything anymore which is getting ready for the credits to roll. If we're using a movie analogy you have found a purpose and a passion that has renewed you in ways what i want to know what you get. I know what you do. And i know why you do it. But what are you get out of this. you know. it's an important question paul. Because i think those of us in philanthropy and giving rarely think about what we are getting out of it and we're thinking about what we're giving and what we're accomplishing so one way..

uganda charlie hedges Paul charlie ten first episode twelve workers african united states one way episode three romanian paul
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

01:56 min | 4 months ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"Anything bigger small. Who just we absolutely love you for for that. But what we offer every august we offer donor trips and we don't pay for the donors donors pay for their trip. It's not that expensive. I think the flight to uganda's like twelve to fifteen hundred dollars round trip but you will spend a week and you will be in the rural villages. You will see people if you have donated a well. An entire village will circle around the well. They sing songs. They do real. They're happy create poetry for you. It is just. It is amazing. You go there and you're you're ruined for life because the joy and the excitement and the gratitude the people there is just so hobble. It's real you can touch it. You can see it so real thing while you're doing a real good work you're doing the real thing there. Tell us how people can reach you. And then What are we gonna talk about in our third. We're doing a three part series while you're gone for three weeks so tell take us out. Tell us how to get in touch with everybody in the would episode three. We're going i. I will repeat that you can You can go to wells of life. Find out all about us donate if you will Contribute any way that you want to contribute at wells of life dot org. You can always on the website. Send a comment to me. Ask me anything on the website. And i will. I will put you in contact with anyone. And i just. We're so into the mission of this. We really believe you can make a difference in the world. The next chapter with charlie right along come back next week and we'll give you one more impact trial is going to get real and personal here about What it's meant to him. This journey this new chapter that he's discovered. Read along with all of you right here. In orange county is only community radio station..

uganda twelve next week charlie three weeks a week third fifteen hundred dollars august three part episode three one orange county wells of life wells of life dot org
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

03:39 min | 4 months ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"Thousand <Speech_Male> <SpeakerChange> <Silence> <Speech_Music_Male> our prices eight <Speech_Male> thousand dollars but <Speech_Male> most <Speech_Male> organizations are <Speech_Male> ten twelve fifteen <Speech_Male> thousand dollars <Speech_Male> for a well. Okay <Speech_Male> so we're very low <Speech_Male> on wells but we <Speech_Male> are state of the <Speech_Male> art. We are elite. <Speech_Male> You <Speech_Male> know a lot of wells. <Speech_Male> Were being done with <Speech_Male> galvanized iron. <Speech_Male> Which you <Speech_Male> know galvanized iron. <Speech_Male> Eventually it's going to put <Speech_Male> rust in a water. <Speech_Male> Yeah we do. <Speech_Male> Stainless steel <Speech_Male> pipes <Speech_Male> stainless steel <Speech_Male> rods <Speech_Male> class <SpeakerChange> of the art <Speech_Male> pumps. <Speech_Male> And you keep these things <Speech_Male> occur. You said i <Speech_Male> was surprised to your <Speech_Male> to into this. How <Speech_Male> many wells. <Speech_Male> Not just once you've done <Speech_Male> but other gonna well-meaning <Speech_Male> organizations <Speech_Male> have drilled and <Speech_Male> they break and we <Speech_Male> go back and restore <Speech_Male> to fix <Speech_Male> it. It's a machine. <Speech_Male> Well there's <Speech_Male> there <Speech_Male> <SpeakerChange> we're <Speech_Male> training where we're <Speech_Male> we have a whole <Speech_Male> sustainability project <Speech_Male> that <Speech_Male> we want our <Speech_Male> wells. I mean <Speech_Male> it may be <Speech_Male> who who <Speech_Male> knows how real it is <Speech_Male> but our goal <Speech_Male> is to have a well lasts <Speech_Male> for twenty five year. <Speech_Male> Wow that is <Speech_Male> an and but <Speech_Male> it. It <Speech_Male> depends on the sustainability <Speech_Male> model <Speech_Male> that <Speech_Male> we can <Speech_Male> <Speech_Male> Impart <Speech_Male> to <Speech_Male> <SpeakerChange> the local <Speech_Male> community village <Silence> members. <Speech_Male> Most <Speech_Male> of us have very <Speech_Male> little impact on our <Speech_Male> lives. <Speech_Male> We may <Speech_Male> seek impact <Speech_Male> we keep <Speech_Male> it. We help our <Speech_Male> family. We help her friends <Speech_Male> whenever we <Speech_Male> can. Maybe <Speech_Male> we make some contributions <Speech_Male> at work and we get <Speech_Male> a plaque and an award <Speech_Male> along the way <Speech_Male> and gold watch <Speech_Male> when we retire. But <Speech_Male> i think <Speech_Male> most of us don't <Speech_Male> make the kind of <Speech_Male> impact you guys <Speech_Male> are making <SpeakerChange> their where <Speech_Music_Male> you affect. Which <Speech_Male> but but we can <Speech_Male> you know there are <Speech_Male> there are things <Speech_Male> we <Speech_Male> have a water warriors <Speech_Male> program for thirty <Speech_Male> bucks a month <Speech_Male> you can just commit. <Speech_Male> And it's <Speech_Male> it's it's a repetitive. <Speech_Male> Thirty bucks a <Speech_Male> month brain that you <Speech_Male> can contribute <Speech_Male> to the well. <Speech_Male> And if you have the <Speech_Male> wherewithal so <Speech_Male> eight thousand dollars <Speech_Male> is expensive but <Speech_Male> for four thousand <Speech_Male> dollars <Speech_Male> you can restore <Speech_Male> a well. No you <Speech_Male> gotta understand. This <Speech_Male> is a community that <Speech_Male> had a well <Speech_Male> that had clean <Speech_Male> water <SpeakerChange> <Speech_Male> and now <Speech_Male> lost it. <Speech_Male> They lost <Speech_Male> it's better <Speech_Male> not to have <Speech_Male> to have in lieu. I <Speech_Male> think so. And <Speech_Male> we go back <Speech_Male> and wheat for four <Speech_Male> thousand dollars <Speech_Male> we can restore <Speech_Male> that well <Speech_Male> bring back <Speech_Male> health and vitality <Speech_Male> that village <Speech_Male> and those are the <Speech_Male> villages that we're <Speech_Male> now implementing <Speech_Male> we have <Speech_Male> twenty wash <Speech_Male> program so we're <Speech_Male> implementing <Speech_Male> as of <Speech_Male> april one <Speech_Male> that we <Speech_Male> will have that <Speech_Male> are villages <Speech_Male> in schools. <Speech_Male> And i'm not the <Speech_Male> big fundraiser. <Speech_Male> But i just got to tell <Speech_Male> you bang <Speech_Male> for your <Speech_Male> international <Speech_Male> money. <Speech_Male> You are impacting <Speech_Male> thousands <Speech_Male> of lives <Speech_Male> where you would <Speech_Male> barely impact hundreds <Speech_Male> in the united states <Speech_Male> and <Speech_Male> and <Speech_Male> one of the things <Speech_Male> that i've just had just <Speech_Male> to add to that <Speech_Male> i can't help at <Speech_Male> one of the things that always appealed <Speech_Male> to me about nick's mission <Speech_Male> and <Speech_Male> your mission is you picked <Speech_Male> up this <SpeakerChange> thing and ran <Speech_Male> with it is <Speech_Male> it has <Speech_Male> what we all seek <Speech_Male> not the ability <Speech_Male> to make <Speech_Male> an impact <Speech_Male> but an immediate <Speech_Male> impact. <Speech_Male> I donate to <Speech_Male> cause. <Speech_Male> And i feel like <Speech_Male> i'm part of an overall <Speech_Male> mission but my <Speech_Male> couple of thousand dollars <Speech_Male> isn't going to cure <Speech_Male> cancer. It <Speech_Male> isn't gonna solve <Speech_Male> poverty <Speech_Male> <Speech_Male> but for a couple <Speech_Male> thousand dollars <Speech_Male> for a thousand <Speech_Male> people. You <Speech_Male> can make an immediate <Speech_Male> impact <SpeakerChange> in <Speech_Male> their life. <Speech_Male> You can save <Speech_Male> lives.

Thirty ten thirty twenty five year thousand dollars hundreds thousands eight thousand dollars eight four thousand one nick couple of thousand dollars twenty wash Speech_Male united states april one of things fifteen
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

03:59 min | 4 months ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"To walk hours to fetch that the idea is that we have reduced the time we've put the we put the wells in their communities then a half a mile right. Okay it's within a half miles. Kids have time to go to school because mostly kids get the water kids in mons fetched water. And that's their fulltime job. There beast burden no school for you. You gotta go find some water. I other school but it's but they miss a lot of school. So that's why that's why it's in. It's largely girls that are going after water. The girls have lesser education than the boys and we are also expected to do. Go go cook the food and to cook the food and clean the food. You gotta go get some water. That's just part of the thing that's part of our process of reeducation of you bring me up to a new subject. That i hadn't even plan on talking about but but it is. It is the subject of my mind. Because i have privileged to be in a leadership position of instituting a program with walls of life that is called this called international protocol. It's called wash water sanitation and hygiene and we call it the healthy village program and that way we help. We help people who are dying. From bacteria bacteria's what kills dysentery. All these things yeah dysentery diarrhea. It's cholera we teach them the bill trains. We teach them to have hand..

half a mile dysentery a half miles
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

04:43 min | 4 months ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"Either charlie hedges here with the next. After charlie and we are in episode. Two that is being aired. While i am in uganda working with our ugandan staff our leaders and all people with the boots on the ground and paul. And i have prerecorded some of the some important thoughts that that i have before leaving last week we talked about. What is my next chapter all about today. We're going to talk about why wells of life in uganda. Why do i go to you again. We talked last time about influence and impact. Today we're going to talk very specifically about a specific kind of influence in specific kind of infant impact. And that's for the poorest of the poor in uganda. So let me turn it over to producer. Paul to lead us on. So you're there while we're listening to this. You're doing the work and we're trying to imagine the heck is he doing there. You've been there before you've made this commitment a big commitment of financial commitment a physical commitment a time commitment to go there. What is the impact you hope to make in this trip. Let me step back and say the opportunity of working with the poorest of the ports. It's called you know. In in developing world languages called the bottom billion and that many the bottom billion. Oh it is. It is and where the average wage is In the neighborhood of two to three dollars a day and and and that. It's not like that. Money goes a long way two to three dollars. A day doesn't go along way in any economy and and yet when you go to uganda and you we we work. We don't working in urban uganda. We don't work where there's money and all there's not a lot of money. There's a lot opportunity or whatnot. There is more but we work in rural and when i say rural it is dirt. Rutted roads a minute it takes. It takes an hour to do a fifteen minute drive and we're out in the jungles and sparse villages and sparse hut. No running water less. Not even no running. We provide water. It's dirty water water..

charlie Paul Today last week fifteen minute uganda three dollars today Two an hour three dollars a day two paul ugandan billion
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

04:02 min | 4 months ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"Does it matter to have influence. So many of us have little influence even over our own families and friends and lives. And why do you want to leave an impact. It's a great question. The lists attack the more difficult one. I and that's influence and that is. I have discovered within my small group of friends and acquaintances and colleagues and associates. That i have been gifted with certain degree of influence. Not listen to you coach. They listened to. I don't know what it is. But but and and and and i try to do it with integrity. I'm very careful about it because it's a I'm reminded of the story of brad. Pitt's mom knocking brad pitt. And that he was so good looking and that he could accomplish anything with his looks and his mom told him he was in an interview that i read about him and he said his mom said with that gift comes responsibility and i am that and i thought with the gift of influence comes responsibility. I have to be careful. What am i influencing people in doing am i influencing people in producing good producing love. Compassion care Empathy or my purdue. Am i influencing people to be selfish and greedy and and and i have to be careful of that so so. The influence was a natural talent a gift. I believe it is a gift of god that has to be tempered with wisdom and values and character. And you look at the things that you've done. I mean i guess that makes sense. You were minister for a number of years talk about influencing people they come to you for answers and then as you leave the ministry go into the business world. You don't become a sales executive you become a coach. Yeah i have been probably thirty years old. In on i have been in the service oriented business but but it is service of individual and of groups that i i help i. I am a servant. I am there to provide to write a service that can make a difference in your life and that leads to that leads least that second thing. Influence and impact and impact is really important. And i think we're sort of hired to want to Hired we're sort of wired to want to leave an impact to make a difference. I think so. Nobody wants to be anonymous. My father always used to say he didn't wanna die and just have the thing in tombstone. The two dates in the dash in between he wanted to have meant something he was here. More than just a data died in a data was born. Yeah you know. And i've heard something similar to that except the only thing that matters on that on that epitaph between the day you were born in the day you died is the dash..

thirty years Pitt two dates brad pitt second thing
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

03:25 min | 4 months ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"I did not know what to do with myself. I was used to a busy calendar of is used to fill calendar which is busy. I was used to helping people and helping. Executive leaders managing their people and the strategy of the organization. And now i had nothing. I was painting and that was one thing that really helped me. But it didn't fill my need for con contribution. That's why i felt so useless. What am i doing. And and i was in search and that was why we started this podcast. The next chapter the next chapter really wasn't intended for everybody else. Find their next chapter. It was intended for. Me- what am i going to do you you. They thought they were getting advice from the coach and how to find their next chapter and he was trying to find his along with them here. Yeah guesses story at the a few people that become a psychologist is that they go to therapy and decided to psychology. And so that was probably the reason and that was you know. I think that lasted for me. Paul for year and a half to two years I did. I wrote a couple of articles about it On on retirement and boredom and uselessness. And i believe probably the thing that helped me come out of. It was a combination of getting a better feel for myself right and as our frontier her. She always reminds us of being comfortable in our own skin and that's sort of an authenticity. That's that's not evaluated by external but by internal means what drives you. And i've i've always focused on what drives me internally. I've always focused on. What is my purpose. And i. Although i couldn't find it. I began to find hints of it. And then i found the expression of my internal values while supplies so is it just simply putting yourself out there and making yourself available to opportunities present themselves or is it something. Some many of us want a plan. We wanna we wanna plan always in place. The my my life plan my the plan of the next ten years or is it just simply showing up. I wanted to answer that by saying yes to both. I'm sorry i however i do. Want to put an emphasis on the serendipity of it we're going to have a guest in about a month and a half the wrote a book on life and serendipity and that it's not always a plan. I'm very much looking forward to that. Podcast when i return that is to be opened what it calls for in that openness and receptivity is something new. It calls for an intentional self reflection. You have to be able to take a look at yourself and what is going on in your life is does it resonate with some part of the core you now. I have discovered during that process and and afterward the two values are very important for me and they are influence and impact. You talk about that all the time influence and impact did those resonate with.

two years Paul two values both about a month and a half one thing next ten years year and a half
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

03:03 min | 4 months ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"I'm i'm vice. President of the executive board as well as vice president of uganda and operations. And so i will be doing operations work for three weeks in covering five hundred to a thousand miles of different districts that we're doing business in so in my absence. We have prerecorded with producer. Paul three episodes shorter episodes. That will give you some insight into the next chapter into wells of life in india again. So producer paul saw yours. I'm curious as you head back to africa again once again. How did you find this purpose in. Life really started through the show. Didn't it's started to this show. Nine thousand nine hundred s nine hundred. Seventeen twenty seventeen. I don't think it was one hundred years Twenty seventeen with nick jordan who seal walls of life he came on the podcast told the story of wells of life providing watered at that time it was probably to over four hundred thousand people. I was so intrigued and so moved by what he had to say. That i immediately became a We we Funded three wells. That would give water to three thousand people. I then took a trip to uganda. Fell in love with the people fell in love with the mission with the work that it has been done and as a result became a trustee for wells of leiden again and two months later vice president of the executive board. And that's how it works. You know when you walked in the door in you said kind of retiring from my longstanding role as a ceo coach. You looking for your own. Next chapter life was over and you were exploring. What were you missing at that point in time. I haven't even thought of this and and it is so true at the time we started this. Podcast i was in a time of Deep consternation and in a time of struggle for who. I was personally because i retired from my business. As an executive coach to high level people of of very successful companies and it was not an intended retirement. Although it was sixty five years old it was a retirement. Because i had sort of a anxiety attack of anxiety that i really could not overcome so i needed to leave and what that left me with was a blank slate and two things. Were really strong in my life. Paul and that was feelings of uselessness and boredom. Now you said you didn't know what to do with yourself..

india paul africa nick jordan Paul five hundred three episodes three weeks one hundred years three thousand people two things over four hundred thousand peo two months later sixty five years old Seventeen twenty seventeen Nine thousand nine hundred s n thousand miles We we Funded Twenty seventeen uganda
#183 Jamie Lerner Self-Care: If You Dont, Who Will? - burst 03

OC Talk Radio

15:29 min | 6 months ago

#183 Jamie Lerner Self-Care: If You Dont, Who Will? - burst 03

"We just are and were very well equipped to do it. And it's also interesting about reinvention. Is that we lose a lot of something. That is very important along the way which is south care so women are masterful in reinventing themselves and then they also are masterful in forgetting themselves. How did how did how did he know. We're going to make a transition to self care. I mean seriously on my sheet in front of the next. The next bullet point was self care and you made a wonderful trenches transition to it. So that is what. I'd like to talk about now. And and focus probably the majority of our time is self care and personal responsibility and and especially in this current cova time of chaos and confusion and and one of the things that you told me about when we chatted before the podcast was that you described your passion. Your current passion for helping people find themselves in the moment. Can you tell me what that what that means to you. Find yourself in the moment every moment that we can be present and it is just a moment by moment and establish or reestablish connection with ourselves that that is the ultimate in self care and and i think a lot of that comes from being able to manage our thoughts and then are feeling but first and foremost our thaw and i think it's important cut. We rarely slow everything down and allow ourselves to be in that moment contain. That's why one of the most important things of how we can care for ourselves and then others it's always about foul firth and then others. It's kind of a win win for everybody. Jesus talks about that. When he says you know i it's always quoted love god and love your neighbor but what's always left out is love. Love your neighbor as yourself and to me that assumes self love precedes other love the cacao kangaroo barber care for another if they're not taking care of yourself self love is sort of. it's almost frowned upon that. You are selfish. You are ego centric if you do that and and if you take care of yourself too much and yet and yet if you don't take care of yourself you're you're no good to anyone else you know want when you could on the airplane they tell you to put your mask on on first before assisting other people and there's a reason for that. That is a universal truth. We cannot care for anyone until we care for ourselves without feeling resentment and if we feel is not much then we are not caring for ourselves or another. So you know. I think people don't really understand what it means to wrap third loving arms around themselves and nourish and nurture themselves into connection. That is the most unselfish thing that you can do. And in some ways it sure responsibility if you're then going to assume the care of others whether be children or a teacher or if you're in any role where you're in a leadership role it's just not possible to do it without having spent some time with yourself and nourishing yourself and if they're self some something to give agree with you on that and i was thinking about taking care of ourselves. There's there's just a number of of ways to do that in you know we're going to get into tactics toward the end of the Of the of the of the show. But right. Now i i'd like to disorder. Get a big picture of what do you mean by taking care of yourself. I know account. I have an idea of what i need by but but i'm curious what your interpretation is kind of goes hand in hand with taking personal responsibility to understand that really. It is known responsibility to care for your responsibility to begin to have an understanding of what year in the evening for yourself and then to figure out a way a gentle loving way to kind of implement some of that self care and most people do the opposite. They expect other people to care for them. They don't even know their own news. They expect others around them to know what they need and they expect that they should be given what they need. There's this really Twisted sense of entitlement. just because the very I think the other interesting thing about women reinventing themselves then they get to hide behind all of the roles that they've taken on as they never care for themselves the end up feeling resentful. They ended up feeling overwhelmed. The end up feeling all the things that they should be feeling and yet known even knows what they need. Not even know. They haven't even taken the time to figure out like okay but only know what i need for my. What do i need to do first thing in the morning but the guy can so myself up before we take care of all these other people so to step into that role of personal responsibility for sending the morning and ask yourself now. What are what. I need so myself. That is such a loving and lovely question to ask one and then to answer it with you. Maybe coffee before. I serve an to eat something before i i just some basic things. That really remind us that we're important. How counter cultural that is because we you know we're we're thinking we always have to be givers don't we we. We can't be. we can't be takers. we can't be an it's not even really taking it's it's more of. You're giving love from an empty cup and you've got to fill that love your love cup for yourself because unless you do you end up resenting the very people that you are serving and it doesn't feel good on your and it doesn't feel good on there and either never feels good to be given some things from someone who is representing you in the process so yet to unconditionally give to hand. That is a lovely feeling for the giver and the receiver and the way we get there is by taking care of ourselves so that we can give which hand alternate goal to feel good about the giving and to feel good about the person who is receiving what your kid i have for the last year been very involved on my own in in the in the sort of tradition node as mystic christianity and the mystics and and and i'm reading people of the thirteenth to fourteenth century teresa viola saint john of the cross and and teresa viola sort of my my guru. Now and she was. She was in the fifteenth century. And they talk about spending this time in divine contempt mystical prayer. But she is very strong that you do that in doing that. You are taking care of yourself your relationship with yourself yourself in the divine how how you relate in the divine but that that then becomes the resource for helping others that so you don't you don't just folk off. Yeah you don't just focus on yourself and forget everybody else. You have to focus on yourself but then the result is it results in a self care you. You can't help but want to share that with other people tackle once again. It's a win win for every beautiful idea. Now you want. You talked about personal responsibility in that. And i've even thought about making when i make a title for this show and we'll see what happens after the show. They make the title. But i i'm working on a premise of the me. Look at my own title here. Self care your responsibility to be responsible for yourself. Well is it so you would. You says it's good. I'm glad you agree because you're not title if you said no i don't believe any of that however it's a turn off for people a lot of people do not want to be responsible from south. They feel resentful that they should have to be responsible for themselves. They feel entitled that others should be responsible for their happy. And i think that it just needs to be thought about in a different way because who would know better for you than you know and yet we expect others to know what we need what. We consider south for first and foremost look. We need the great question. People don't ask themselves that question very often. But do you want. Don't ask themselves that either but people will tell you all day long what they want and what they get is more of what they don't want so and it's always someone else's all so you know if that doesn't work very well that way no it doesn't and and how in the world like you said if we haven't even really investigated pin through the thought process of understanding what we want and what we like in life. How in the world is someone else supposed to know that you know great costal one and yet we expect them to set us fai our needs and we've not identified their their needs. I mean our our needs and how they need to respond. You know My listeners heard have heard this before. But my wife. And i for probably. We've been married thirty six years and for at least twenty five of those. If not more. We take every year between christmas and new years now. This happens throughout the year but we take an intentional time of three days away so we can have two nights in one place. You know two full days in place and we ask each other So how was i. What kind of husband was last year. What kind of wife was i. And and what do you want from me. How can i serve you in helping. You find. You know helping you fulfill your needs and so we're forcing ourselves to identify our knees and until the other person. This is what i would like fantastic. I mean that's that's a conscious of our relationship a nice guy. Yeah yeah you know a lot of good writing on that jamie is. Are you familiar with the land baton. Elaine de button depends on how you want to pronounce it. The scarlet life. You know he's rich and really good stuff on that he's ridden maybe the best stuff of love between a man and a woman as anyone is written for you know. He's just barely turned forty now but he just has has exceptional writing on that. You know what i wanna do. I i want to go a bit deeper but before we do. I'd like to take a quick break. And then we will come back. And we're going to pursue a little bit more about this personal responsibility and how the victim mentality may come into play in that. Hi there this is charlie hedges. And you're listening to the next with charlie and my very special guests. Today's jaime lerner A woman who is a therapist adventurer pleasure seeker and a cute devil tae of self care. And that's exactly what we're talking about. And and i think she has so much teaches that i've learned so much from jamie and jimmy. We've talked about a bit about personal responsibility. And that letting other people know not expecting other people to somehow somehow be able to read our minds in our souls and understand what we need. We need to articulate that. What other kinds of personal responsibility you know. We're talking about our own personal responsibility and our self care. How can i take responsibility for myself. Do you have any examples of that for me now. I think that away are rewarded in society. Forbidden since Mainstream media that. They reminded us every moment. That's come we are the victim of everything. We have no control so for me. I always suggest to people to turn off the television and to Find a new source. That is a little more emotionally intelligent. That will allow us to feel good when you're done breathing. You're listening to or watching in fetter feeling paralleling cars. We have to take personal responsibility for what we are chasing to consume and hall. We will fail one way or done firmly cloud video. You know that's brilliant. You know is that we have to take responsibility for what we consume in our media. And and i find pretty much nothing but danger when not not just. Tv in general but for me. It's tv news and tv news. You know their their purpose is to stir up controversy in stirrup.

Self Care Mental Health Oc Talk Radio Ucicove Teresa Viola Saint John Teresa Viola Firth Confusion Elaine De Button Charlie Hedges Jaime Lerner Jamie Charlie Jimmy
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

01:47 min | 1 year ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"Instead got a gut commit came in and handed you a template separate says your life is what you choose to be and I believe in concert with the way created you with the way you've DNA DNA. You were created to do a broad spectrum of things it's not. It's not very narrow but it's a broad spectrum of thing and so I I I I really like. It was one of the questions that I that I had. We were going to do later. But we're doing right now and that is talking about you talking about the connection with the spirit. I want to talk. LemMe see do I want it to. I WanNa take a break or do I want to get into this because this is going to be quite lengthy I think I think perhaps we should take a break because I have quite a bit to say on this. Okay uh-huh This is Charlie hedges. You're listening to the next chapter. After which are Lee. And our very special guest I performance consultant and chief spiritual guru of highly creative and productive people. And we're talking about power and we're talking about inner power now not not not.

Charlie hedges consultant Lee
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

05:39 min | 2 years ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"What does that even mean? We don't necessarily know what that means but it's that gut feeling. It's the idea that they do with if you heard the heart math if institute no it's this whole idea of heart intelligence where there are feelings and it seems like thoughts that originate in our heart that don't start in the brain start from the heart. Art and then go to the brain or the parts of the body or start from the gut and then go to the brain so we literally feel things and think things from other parts of the body I look it up. You don't believe me so really when we're saying I have that gut gut feeling where I think from my gut right. I'm heart Senator Hart based. There seems to be signed supporting this and this goes back again to the idea of if we want to change behavior slowdown lowdown our brain frequency when we slowed on the brain frequency we expand our awareness and our connection everything else this idea of external reality being and social constructs being real dissolves and it's this inner stuff that becomes important. We talked about this. Previously the idea that hypnosis is somewhat similar to meditation that if when you're meditating and you're focusing on the one thing whatever it is a monster or a candle or your breathing with the idea that eventually you stop even focusing on that clearly your mind if everything that the cool thing is when we clear our mind of all thought we have access to everything that was funny during our and we will get to this up in a bid after the break <hes> that that was what I compared hypnosis to was meditation yeah it was very similar but but but I I have have one question <hes> that is probably very not not an easy answer but before we go on break and and I'm wondering I'm very spiritual person and <hes> <hes> I believe in the Im- put from an external world that there is Im- put that that comes into me <hes> just simply put in in writing or an art is amuse news. You know that that there is something outside of me. How does that interact to relate to the unconscious? The this spiritual world that we speak of and the unconscious they they won the same does a spiritual world work through the unconscious. Does it work to the conscious because or is it you know what what is the process there my first thought is I don't really know I mean I I have my own beliefs but when I'm working with somebody I tend to delineate we we didn't a couple of different things so they're conscious mind their unconscious mind and something I call their core self now we could call it courcelle off we call it higher self we call their their spirit their soul to me all of that would be the same thing they have this conscious logical thing this unconscious and this other part that I believe that I'm talking to so when they slow everything down <hes> slow thinking down eliminate this their version of logic their version of rational and reasonable thinking and get to the core of who they are and again and maybe this is the spirit or the this thing that's connected to the spirit world. God whatever you want to call it. Yes that's who I that's who I imagine talking to so we get all that stuff out of the way I'm talking to. The essence of WHO Charley is I'm or whoever it is right so I'm talking to Charlie is and knowing that you know the answer so I'm literally giving we'll talk about why didn't in some ways give you a lot of suggestions. <hes> I'm I'm. I'm usually giving people suggestions literally giving them suggestions you could do this and this and this and a lot of times I will also say almost all the time say or your unconscious mind or your core self will come up with something better because it knows I'm talking to that part. That knows that you know what to do. You have the answers you're already. You're already complete in the womb. You didn't need it anything. What makes you think you need something now right? You had everything you need it in the womb. Why do you now need something more? You don't great question <hes> I wanNA take a break Yup and then I wanna come back and I wanNA talk about <hes> <hes> suggest ability and and how that impacts young conscious unconscious cools. Let's go on break and breath hi this Charlie hedges and you're listening to the next chapter with Charlie and I'm here with my special guest.

Charlie hedges Senator Hart Charley
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

12:57 min | 2 years ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"With Charlie hedges as he explores. There's turning the page on his life and yours. Hey Charlie hey producer Paul House with you today. I'm doing good. I'm <hes> but I'm afraid to ask what the topic is today well. You're you're going and I just got it. I'm a little slow today just just so our listeners know I had cataract surgery so I have one I that's perfect and another I that is totally out of Iraq and so I am not seeing which is causing me some disc consternation but <hes> Terry's going to pick us up and save us today and and in saying that today were privilege to have a regular insightful guests terriers he prolific author renowned Public Speaker Landscape Architect and a mentor to several people. I put it Terry on the art of slowing down to take take in the pleasure of life sort of that sort of describes it. Today's topic is going to be a fun for me. I've been wanting to do it for some time and it affects every single listener and is perhaps the systematic root of most of our personal limitations. I WanNa talk about our daily experience of fear and how it impacts the choices we make in addition to bringing non severe anxiety. There's also the source of low self esteem anger resistance to new ideas reluctance to experiment and general acceptance of the status quo. I believe I am I'm coming to believe that. Fear is one of the most influential psychological determines in how we feel and believe what do you think about that. I actually no kidding okay well. That's off off to a good start so what's up with you before we get going. <hes> <hes> life is goods. <hes> had a garden club come by and visit my garden today so that was <hes> enjoyable and <hes> and then and I took a map which is better than enjoyable. You know what speaking of fear I'll let me start here. This is this is true. I have found that if you don't make space in your life for just healthy choices you have have only space in your life for what is going to be detrimental and or <hes> not just ours toxic but stuff that that eats at you so if you don't take care yourself. It's no wonder that you that the things that are invasive takeover that makes perfect sense <hes> elaborate on that when when you say you make space for things that are just think think about somebody just just talking about Jimmy just as simple as I'd say simple but just basic anxiety thing you know I I'm done wait a minute wonder if someone done on okay and you start with simple things. Have you had any water lately. Have you had a meal in other words there simple things we wonder and we see what happens when people have been deprived when you're deprived of things to just make you help the sunlight and food and swing than and <hes> <music> don't dare say fitness now I was GonNa say solitude. Okay okay could yeah but if you but if you're deprived of those things <hes> there's a part of your spirit binding site that's soaks up whatever else is more in invasive and that is anxiety it takes it takes that space. Yes fear is certainly your side of the route to anxiety yes. You're you're because this is important. You're you the way you're you're made up emotionally physiologically in your emotions is that you don't have. There's not just like empty space okay. I'M GONNA get rid of this. I don't like this in my spirits. I don't like this negative. I'll just get rid of that negative thought so here I just getting rid of that fear women no but you are soon as like is that space in the in the garage of your mind but when you when you it doesn't Russell Stover you up to fill space with something else yes exactly. I I so totally agree they. When you want to get rid of something negative in your life you have to replace it with something good? There's a <hes> <hes> for for those of us that our Bible people there's one remember the one where Jesus got rid of a demon and nothing else took place in seven more came in and and Yeah Perfect Association which is why in in in the way we do self help. Sometimes in this culture is like a just mentally <hes> you know zone. 'em Just get rid of your fear one no we we we missed the opportunity to give people the opportunity to choose a different story. Is that about getting rid of one story. It's about choosing a differ story a better story. Can you give me some examples of the anything in mind to afford. A Better story might be yeah I in Sabbath moment. Though on I just wrote on Monday in <hes> in Nineteen Greenville away it was the battle it's old story. Oh and I don't want it took place. Thousands of our nor the battle for Jerusalem and Yvonne was he had ordinary manner the fires he he didn't have he didn't have the train soldiers he just has some ordinary men and and he said you know you are now my group to save genucel and we <hes> and so what he did. The first thing we did was he knighted them because all of them said you know but we're not them so in other words they were afraid. They were afraid. They want enough. They were afraid they couldn't do the job. They referred whatever it was they were they fear was in the in the wheelhouse so he night so so sort sort on the shoulder gave them the courage well the that goes beyond that because it's not just just that touch but exactly but the team so what are you not for the kings thinking. You can't just night everybody. That's just nuts. That's GonNa make them better. Fighters said yes because it's not just ninety is it's. It's it's letting them embrace something inside of them. Their story that there are night inside in one day it gives them the permission permission to choose that story. I liked that a lot. I think that has a lot to do with what we do every day. Is that permission to to grant to grant ourselves permission to adopt opt our own story rather than the story that we fear others are making up about us one hundred yeah one of my favorite lines is to say we get to say how the story ends or for the next chapter for example right. It's a say so I mean because when people people come to be with you know to tell me their stuff right and they want me to fix their stuff had and I asked him how they want the story to go and they're thinking what do you mean what what curious is. People don't believe generally we believe that we have the power to say what the next step of the stories we don't trust that tolerance and how often in that process to we talk about fear fear. I think <hes> I my experiences. We talk about all time. Oh do you yeah I mean talk about while inadvertently we we talk about the we talk about the the impact of it the ramifications of yes exactly yeah. We don't don't look at it head on to your point. No we don't say I want to face my fear. We don't say yeah or to recognize how my fears are impacting impacting me right because my fears are impacting me as I said that I think I alluded to earlier that you know my opinion is that <hes> fear may be the greatest overall source of probably most of our psychological disorders yes and that's because we're not at home in our own skin when I'm grounded and when you're not grounded you give way to whatever is louder in most bombarded so you're afraid so how do you do that without going to a shrink how do you how do you embrace being comfortable in your own skin without spending an hour to a a week with a shrink <hes> you what what sorts of tactics do you do to embrace that I was thinking oh I can't the story <hes> a member of the movie was a <hes> crimes the heart. Do you remember that movie. I remember the name but I don't remember the movie. Yeah it was a it's a anyway was about three sisters and oh the one where she stuck her head. Now an oven yeah yet sissy spacex Hey sexy stuck her heading in oven to remember that Bart Kosinski stay and she has anxiety and you know the older sisters are trying to mess with your anxiety and one day she said by 'cause insist the opens the is he's having the moments you so attorneys the oven on opus sticks or headed and so why don't you this is why do you do it babe. Why do you put your head in the oven? They've says I don't know I guess I'm having a bad day and your sisters in her systems as you said we've gotta find a way to get you through these bad days yeah without the oven yeah. Let's do it without the yeah. Let's let's give that a shot you. You know what's interesting about fair -tary before we go further into the into the problems of fear is that is that you know from early mankind from prehistoric man fear has been a good thing there it is it has been self-protective. We have lasted as long as we have lasted because of fear because of the endorphins or whatever orphans come up inside of us. I think about that think about that Charlie. That's precisely yet we're wired as a species to see fear as primarily an alarm system exempt lights us that invites us to make a choice and we have we have somehow giving ourselves. The fact that the alarm system all is automatically complete reality about the only choice we have. We have lost the fact that the alarm gives US officials. That's <hes> that's an inside. I've never heard of. I've never thought about that but but fear does not bring up the necessity that we have to fight or flight either one is that it gives us the opportunity to make a choice ice. Yeah I mean when in you know prehistoric our ancestors the fight or flight thing which we know about fears that that when that dimmer that alarm kick them if they started if they started with the census all I'm screwed. There's no fighter flight. There's just getting meeting the that's not a good option yeah no so that's why fighter flight they didn't but the point is the power still rested with them. This is what's interesting with people a new door on small anxiety right now. I'm not I'm not down finding the reality of of how unpleasant anxiety and fear can be I mean I know that personally. I get that good do that. I was still have the power the capacity to respond to that..

Charlie hedges Terry severe anxiety Paul House Russell Stover Iraq Public Speaker Landscape Archi producer Jimmy US Greenville Bart Kosinski Jerusalem Yvonne one day
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

01:40 min | 2 years ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"With Charlie hedges as he explores turning the page on his life and yours. Hey Charlie Hey Paul. What's up well? I'M GONNA have to put in some earplugs or eye shades or something for this episode because I don't want to be. I think very susceptible adoptable two suggestions and your guest here is the king making suggestions. Don't give away my guest on just hold on just just warning for those of you that are easily swayed you may want to you know today's going to be a fascinating a fascinating interview. Our guest is Jonathan Fisher a certified hypoth- Hypo Hypo Hypo hypo yet there we go. He's a certified hypnotherapist in L._p.. Trainer and Master Mr Facilitator having worked these fields for more than fifteen years now he is a primary content creator for Mine Fi hypnosis apps with millions of downloads worldwide which <hes> I am jealous of love. <hes> Jonathan likes to say because he convinces he just hypnotizing everybody into Nestle. Jonathan likes to say that he has his doctorate in being doctored and often refers as to what he calls his list. This list is his personal health history. It's also his why about life. Check this out. Jonathan had heart surgery at sixteen months then he's had add Indo card itis a stroke open brain surgery.

Jonathan Fisher Charlie hedges Jonathan content creator Nestle Indo sixteen months fifteen years
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

16:42 min | 2 years ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"Hi this is Charlie hedges the next chapter with Charlie and we are having a discussion about the fear of missing out with our good a friend Terry Hershey and and we just got through talking about Thommo or the fear of missing out Foam Oh light I think it goes much deeper N- I've read some of the things that you've written Terry and I think you feel that goes much deeper and and and there is this sort of sense of missing out you know in in the social media and in parties are in get togethers. There's sort of a a feeling that <hes> were missing out on a basic human need of the need for connectedness and and so how much of Foam Oh is is based on a perception that our needs are not being met that it's not just that I didn't get to see something but there's a a deep need inside of meat that is not getting addressed and and met it does that make sense what I just asked sort of in other words. You don't think address will I don't know I don't know how much foam owed how much a full home former has to do with. Our basic human needs of <hes> self esteem and connectedness. Yes yes and the assumption is that I need that. I need some fun to make hey to make me what okay yes and I say. That's not true so it's not so being okay is not an external factor as much as it's an internal factor actor. Is that what you're saying that the Greco so what kinds of things internally are you. Are you talking about. You know you wrote. Let me read something that that I wrote but <hes> that I read that you wrote that I read that you wrote is that we listen to our inner voices that keep our lives small. We live stuck and I was. I was wondering what you is. Is that have to do with what you're talking about here. Yeah Yeah that means that I'm not content unless I have someone else to validate and if that's the case <music> someone else or the some lists that I check off or the some other achievement that I have and as long as that's there the F. that's the formal at your next level right is that's there then I. It's like dude you want to say to me. I want to say to the person just like on the boat dude. You've already got the capacity to give and contribute so as long as my mind is on that other stuff that that that need to make me okay. I don't have I'm not I don't have the wherewithal to give from WHO I am now. So so I'm yeah go ahead. No no go ahead. Go ahead. I was GONNA tell story. Oh tell a story. I'd I'm in the mood for story yeah so my my friend Tim handsome little a book on parenting. He's got two boys and he says to his voice. How do you know dad loves you and you know he's looking person? Great Stories here in he thought they'd say dad remember. They took us to Disneyworld by like pretend days and they didn't say that so he knew he wasted all that money and then he thought they'd say dad `member Christmas about stuff and they didn't say that either and they said Dad. We know you love us. When you wrestle with Yeah in e remember two times he'd come home? He was hungry. He was tired he was late. He didn't care and these urchins are jerking on his pants so he rode with them on the floor Laura toward the kitchen just to get him out of his way and the and the middle of bed very ordinary very boring very Monday. Nabet real life was happening so I mean that's the that's that's for the pathological part is is that in the most extraordinary ordinary events we're life is happening and here's back to your question as long as I'm focused on that other stuff to Disneyland it lands and the Christmases I- i- mitigate my capacity to the wrestler Mike Capacity to be present for my children like passively to the present for my friends and my colleagues. I wonder how come many of our activities Terry are based on as much as a fear of missing out as they are. I desire to actually attend and do some something I it's just that you know the rolling stones are in town so I've got to see the rolling stones to say I've seen the rolling stones when I really don't have any desire to see the rolling stones or a bunch of old guys you know <hes> it it really is an insidious and true fear and I think I think you really nailed on on something when you when you talk about advertising and the number of products it is a built in system to to build within us to attack this basic need of the fear of missing out and and and with that by missing out it's I walk away somehow feeling less than or not good enough or or that. I didn't have the wisdom system to make the right purchase. It's interesting. It's fundamental to our system is fundamental to to Madison Avenue System is that I will buy something because I feel like I'm less than without less than or unfortunately absolutely not equal to seal keeping up with the Jones sort of thing yeah. That's actually a good. That's a good way to rephrase it. I mean during need. That's like you know I read allege down and ask do I really need to bend down and pick this or or yeah or or or you get a little bit older and you need to squat because mending down too dangerous. He may fall all over my children over. I know I know he's young. He's fifty but he might be able to go down so so what's what's a good way that we could suggest suggest. How do you frame your paradigm or your mindset that you just don't worry about missing out because I don't one of the things that this happening to me the e you know I'm going through some some? They're turning out to be some significant life changes as I grow older and we you and I have talked about that. You know the second half of life and talked about the different variances within that and I really don't have a fear of missing out. I really don't have a feeling that I need to do anything other than would would would gives me a sense of fulfilment or a sense of awe and wonder those you know I'm driven. I'm driven by that. I'm not driven by what other people think or don't think I I I used to be but <hes> as I get older do you think do you think age can have an impact on that. Oh there's absolutely no doubt about that. In fact I mean pe- people are I mean it happens and you know the second life. Whatever but you start you realize you know what I need to have so much energy to keep track of something? Let me keep track of the things that really matter and in it I say that I mean growing back with people feel good in your family life your relationship and your business life how seldom I mean how often seldom that was twenty but literally. How often do we stop and just I'll be grateful? Before wrestling times for things that we noticed for the Gargoyles in your son's inference for the times when we see something or present and we're grateful and we're grounded and would there and it's <hes> matters because very often I've been in so many meetings and going this is going to business. I've been so relieved and we're so focused on what yet has to be done. What needs to be done in? What's around the corner that we don't ground us with what has just happened with us as a two Oh absolutely yeah I mean I I go through it with the <hes> with the N._G._O.? With a nonprofit that I work with as it were always thinking. How do we get better fundraising so we can do more so we can have more impact and I am of the opposite focus? I've taken over operations because I think we're just doing a wonderful job right now and I want to be involved evolved with the people in Uganda who are actually doing well. We hope to do and you know. They're not thinking so much in the future. They're thinking I gotta get up today and I gotta go out and I've got to go out into the rural rural villages and and teach or dro- wells or repair wells and and that I like it's just my Iraq shaking things nice. Try but that's just that's so perfect I mean from our vantage point someone from Uganda from village they'd gets up in the they're not thinking. Who Do I need to text today so right right yeah? They may have a telephone but they don't have texts next yeah yeah no no. They're not because my invitation with this is not the make people like Oh my God. Oh my God tell me where you celebrate being present crescent so for you. That really is the antidote to this foam. Oh is to focus on the present and truly appreciate what you're experiencing at this moment yes in other gorgeous literally taking pauses if it's the end of the day fine but throughout the daily going okay tell me I need to have affirmation about what just happened and <hes> so you you mentioned about this coming out this year so it's a little bit about this. There's this will I was just literally reading this one chapter where <hes> someone named. Jim Elliot said wherever you are be all there right right. That's what we're talking right so this is I'm reading to You from the book I'm ready and this is what happened. I was going to spend some time wrestling with the wisdom of Jim Elliot Statement which is wherever you are be there and disturb for lecture but Brian called me. This morning was an exciting opportunity. His name didn't ring a bell but Brian chatted. I'd like he knew me. Well and it's not every day you get offered an exciting enough. Brian wanted to offer me a free satellite dish this kind. This kind of generosity makes you tinguely inside doesn't it. I could get five five hundred channels Brian Toby and all these options provided me so much more to enjoy in life Brian chirped literally he the Church and and you listen to him well and that's in here's why and I would never have to be afraid of missing anything because I record. I could record all the good stuff. I didn't want to burden Brian with the fact that being faced with a lot of options makes me want to be my head against a metal pole so five hundred channels might send me straight to the floor in a fetal position instead. I tell Brian that when I was in awe of while I was in awe of his offer to appreciate life I asked if I could make my decision after I spend my day potty some cuttings from my garden killing my bird feeders and taking making a brief nap and my lawn chair Brian was quiet. I'm not sure Brian understood so you actually told him that yeah and and he just and it just is so you got rid of it. You got got rid of a sales sales. Call by telling the truth. I said you know I'M GONNA go into my garden and I'm GonNa pile up some stuff and I'm GonNa be birds and then I'm GonNa take a nap. There's like nothing and he hung up on me but but you know but you bring up a good point with the advertising and you've mentioned before advertisers risers and marketing people have discovered that if we can tap into this foam oh into this fear of missing out that I have to buy this or else. I'm really missing out on the next big thing. The the the problem is like you said was choices. How do you know which is the next big thing? You know I notice it when I go to the pharmacy and you know and I may WanNa buy shaving cream or deodorant and the choices terry of deodorant are overwhelming. I have no idea and then I know I wanna buy the old one that I that. I always liked but they don't carry that anymore because they pick the carry the new brand so I I don't know I have no idea what to buy and and it is it is quite frustrating. I know I I'm with you. I I just think they should have a place at all pharmacies. It just like a holding cell for people who are paralyzed by Joseph's so they just have here's the best just these these are the ones we at the drugstore prefer or the pharmacy prefer and which is out that list. You say I'm taking somebody else's view on it so it's like you say going to Barnes and nobles in it's the employees recommendation up okay yeah. I'll take that book. I don't have to have to run around all look at all the sales yeah I mean I it's interesting thing about <hes> you know like a couple on the boat. I just I just wanted them to be in the trip. They were on not in the fear of missing out trip fear of what they missed out before trip or any of the stuff yeah well. It's so difficult you know the concept of being present so difficult in our culture now I mean and you nailed it when you know you're talking about films that the gas station and and all of our <hes>. <music> our little social media toys R..

Brian Toby Terry Hershey Charlie hedges Uganda Jim Elliot Thommo Tim Laura Jones Mike Capacity Barnes Joseph Iraq
"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

OC Talk Radio

11:13 min | 2 years ago

"charlie hedges" Discussed on OC Talk Radio

"Next chapter with Charlie hedges as he explores turning the page John His life and yours. Hey Charlie Hey Paul boy. I WanNa tell you we have a special show today. Our guest is one of my very favorite people on its entire planet. It's my son Austin. Hedges is Austin is an expert on the subject. We'll talk about today which will be all about the tension between finding personal content with your life and the other side of a never any desire for self improvement are the two we even compatible and that's what we're going to talk about. You know I'd never even really thought of this subject much until Austin brought it up to me and the last couple of weeks and after a bit of consideration it truly is a vaccine question question between contentment and self improvement than which comes first. What are you going to do within? I can't wait to discuss it <hes> just briefly. Let me explain why I think Austin hedges happens to be an expert in his subject. Abject <hes> Austin's job is one in which employees are never supposed to be satisfied or content with their performance. He is a professional athlete as a starting catcher for the San Diego. padres improvement is always expected acted. Is it possible for a professional athlete to be content and seek to improve so let's see what Austin has to say about this Austin hedges. Welcome to the next chapter with your dad it had he's done a couple of weeks ago. You brought up the tension that we talked about the tension between finding self contentment and applying exercises of self-improvement. What what inspired you to come up with even such a thought you? You know I <hes> I didn't. I didn't necessarily come up with thought <hes> myself. I was <hes> I was working out with <hes> my strength coach <hes> during the off season we have some some great workouts together where we just kind of get each other where he he and I <hes> you know we listened to a lot of the same podcasts that I know. Even you've gotten me into <hes> read. The same books I think are just driven by the same things in one of the things that we're talking about because really in life not just in baseball. Everybody always wants to get better and not only. Do you want to get better but the people in charge of you want you in need you to get better because I mean that's <hes> that's what that's what goals are and that's what dreaming for that also leads to the feeling of never quite being enough and there is nothing worse then not just not being enough for yourself but also being not being enough for for the people that you want to impress people that you care about <hes> doing well for in pleasing them like it or not. We're all people pleasers. We all want people to like US people to be impressed by people to appreciate our hard work and there is that fine line where where you need to be able to keep getting better and striving to move forward but if you can't look at yourself and be good enough and also and then at the same time not care about what other people are thinking especially the people that you care about their opinion you know honestly if you're giving your best effort and that's not enough for them then those those then those people shouldn't be the people you care about impressing or <hes> just carrying about in general so <hes> I think it's just it's just something that he brought up to me. The strength coach <hes> and I just thought it was like man that is so spot on for <hes> at least the world I live then. It's very hard to find that balance. Oh Man I can see because <hes> contentment is something we all. We all yearn for yet at the same time self-improvement. It's all you hear about you. Don't hear about self contentment. They're not you know you don't have your two thousand eighteen goals for contentment you know how am I going to be content with life and content with what I have it's always about how can I improve <hes> I I was considering this and and it and it occurred to me that improvement as you just <hes> articulated is very often more about your impression of how other people think about you and that frequently has an impact on how you feel about yourself what you think other people think of you impacts the way you think about yourself now from your experience. How can you learn to value the appeal opin- opinion of others without personalizing it to determine some sort of lower value of yourself how man that is? That's the battle right there. That's that's something I don't think anybody will ever or figure out because no matter no matter what I think like I was saying before you just as a human being you just care about what other people think. You know whether that's whether that's in a positive or negative way like you want <music>. You want you want people to appreciate your opinion. They want you want people to like you to like to be around you. <hes> you know if you want to positively influence the world. If that's that's a goal of yours like it his mind signed like if you're going to do that like people obviously have to respond people have to have their opinion of what how you're impacting them because in my opinion either impacting people negatively or positively there's no in between and that's a very hard thing to grass. Sometimes is because you go you have five second conversation with somebody and in that in those five seconds you either impacted their life positively or negatively you did not nothing didn't just happen something happened so if you're going to try and impact positively than those five seconds with that person need to matter to you but they need to matter to you in in a way where if they take it the wrong way. That's okay if they don't if they don't respond in you're not that's not and they they don't really care either. That's also okay. That's out of your control. It's a very I think the whole thing about being okay with not just being okay but being proud of who you are in. That's in that being enough for you today just about today. It's a very stoic way of thinking. I think you know it's the very we're talking about like you needing nothing like if you don't need all these things you don't need money and cars and clothes and all these things like and that whole like <hes> you know the story the the challenge where I know Tim Ferriss does the you know as he he he dresses poorly in each nothing but rice and <hes> basically lives like he's a homeless person. Was it like once a month or something like that yes so he you can get that that feeling that feeling that perspective on life like well like everything was taken away from you material- materially are you are you are you is that is your life over everything should be able. Taken away from me at any point in your life and you should be like all right okay that means nothing. You know you know what's interesting and I WANNA be careful about this too much because we've talked about quite a bit on this show but <hes> we've talked about first and the second half living and first half living is very much ego centered and it's very much you're trying to build your character your reputation your desires your fulfillment so people know you and and and that's that's really quite okay. There's nothing wrong with that that that that's not a negative comment on that but then as Richard Roth Iras written in your second half that's no longer quite as important and you start becoming other centered sold centered heart centered and you're not as concerned about what other people are thinking of you and I found that's that's true with my life now i. I've been very fortunate and I've had I can't say I've had an extremely successful successful life but we're very comfortable and and you know we have the basic things that we need but I really don't think you have a successful life. Well one thing in in my lifetime that you've done tried to do failed completely not many no no I just I I guess I was comparing to the ultra successful people who as an average person. I have a success successful life. You're right success success. How you're defining it right now? I'm defining it yes and that and that I have <hes> great relationships. You know we're we're able to live comfortably do things that we like and we're able to do the most important thing that we like which is served people and we're able to were able to get involved in that but my point was. I'm not so driven by what other people think I. I can't say I mean it would be disingenuous us for me to say I don't care what other people think but it no longer impacts May to the degree and I think ideally it would be great if you could get their younger rather than get there at sixty or sixty five live there that you could get because I think the younger agent at a young a younger age matters anymore because you haven't I mean in general you haven't figured anything out. You haven't figured out the meaning that you want in your life but like at an older age like it's easier to do that and let's honestly it might be too late because you're in a point of your life where we're not trying to prove yourself anymore but like if you're in your twenties earn your thirties. You're trying to prove yourself. You still trying to make it. You know you've made it to like your like comfortable in life like you. Can you can think about retirement your family secure the real important and things and if you have good relationships could strong relationships and and your seniors goody then then then it's easy to not care about what people think because you've had so many years of maturing in that mindset that look this is what's important to me and I know that and I treated that way on a daily basis but when you're a kid you know whether you're in high school. Twenties thirties like I said you you're still trying to make it. You're still in that grind trying to get there in how to you in that on so many things are just out of your control the where you want to get as in someone else's hands so how can you tell me if I'm baseball player and I just got drafted high school. How can you tell me don't care what your general manager thinks? What do you mean that's the guy that's going to? That's that's the guy that has my career in. You know my dream in his hands you guys that he's going to make the decision to call me up and give me an opportunity so like but how can you you know care what he thinks because it's should be a direct reflection of who you are as a person and as a for example baseball player for someone else just a businessman or a worker whatever you're doing..

Austin hedges baseball Charlie hedges Charlie Hey US John His San Diego. padres Tim Ferriss younger age general manager Richard Roth five seconds five second