20 Episode results for "Cates"
"Hi listeners before we get to our next episode. I have an exciting announcement to share. I want to introduce you to Alistair guys. Some of you might recognize me from some of Parkas other shows like cornutus villains and dog tales from now on also be taking over as cates co host on kingpins. I had a wonderful time hosting this show with Howell and of course he will be missed but I'm also really excited for Alistair to join us. He's a great storyteller and I think you'll all really love the new perspective he gives to the show and I'm excited to get started. You can catch Alistair on me on kingpins every Friday. Listen on spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
OTS 155: Referral Culture Bill Cates
"Welcome to episode one hundred and fifty five of Amish News. Let's do this welcome to Amish Moods. The podcast that highlights highlights talented people from different fields explores how they build strong networks and overcame challenges on their way to becoming successful leaders now. Here's your host Robbie samples. It's like a switch has flipped inside me since running with my wife a couple of weeks ago. I'm feeling like anything as possible. I came back modification jetlagged and in no shape to get back to my usual three times per week Jim routine that was how I I felt very late Monday. Night into Tuesday Wednesday arrived in despite still being a bit tired. I got my gym clothes on and headed out the door over the next seven days. I went back every day. I can't think of another time I liked that. I'd cardio seven days in a row and I wasn't satisfied with my pace anymore. I've been fairly steadily keeping at six and a half seven miles an hour on an elliptical finishing a three point one or so miles in thirty minutes and feeling pretty what about the whole thing. I decided to push myself my pace above seven miles per hour and when I realized I could do that. I pushed myself to keep my pace above eight miles per hour. Suddenly I was setting new records every morning. For how many miles I went in thirty. He minutes three point six. Three miles became three point seven four miles and then I wondered could I finish four miles in thirty minutes that bizarre question but I had to admit it was a possibility the next morning I hi reach three point nine miles thirty minutes which is really close then on day seven. I reach four point zero eight miles in thirty minutes averaging seven minutes twenty one seconds per mile which is down down from my old city pace of about nine minutes forty seconds per mile. This isn't the end of the story by any means in some ways. It's just the beginning I'm replacing old long held beliefs but when my body can do I'm no longer limiting my potential. You're a challenge for this week. What can you do for thirty minutes a day at least three days a week to build your capacity for greater things? Is it writing that book. You've been talking about for years. Is it setting up the pilot of a new program. You've been wanting to launch inch or like me. Is it a physical challenge to help you take care of your health. Try this and let me know how it goes now onto this week. Show today's guests understands the importance of referrals and networking his company company referral coach International Helps People and businesses who want to acquire more clients and customers through word of mouth referrals and personal introduction his goal is to help people increase revenue without having to increase their marketing expenses expenses after building and selling to successful businesses is turn his attention to relationship marketing strategies as a founding member of the Million Dollars Speakers Group. He's the author of three books get M- referrals now don't keep me a secret it and beyond referrals and he's working on his fourth book called Radical Relevance when he's not busy at work he enjoys adventure trek to the Himalayas reached the summited Mt Kilimanjaro and has camped in the Arctic Circle. Wow please join me welcoming the main bill burr. You just gave me a shiver remembering the Arctic Circle. Well welcome well. Thank you appreciate it Robbie. It's yours joining us through your office in Annapolis Maryland and as you know this this is joe about building strong networks and the context that conversation is leadership so they'll tell me how do you define leadership. And when did you realize you had the skills to lead yeah. I think leadership at the way I see it a couple things number one. I think it means serving. <hes> a lot of people see leadership is more self serving for themselves ego. I don't really see it that way. I see it taking a role in people's lives where we can take whatever experience we've had or knowledge that we have and serve people through that and I also know that <hes> there's you know the the other and not the antithesis incongruent with that is followership right. We got a <unk> Wendell lead went to influence when to have a vision and mission share that with people in went to the fall back and not be I I used to think I was a leader her until I realized I was just control freak and I mistook leadership with control and it really is two different things and so I've learned to be a better follower in in my in my two years and I also know that <hes> you probably get more than Yes for this but I also know that we when we have other leaders in our life. It's our job before following in that particular case to to not let the leader fail right. They don't want us to fail but we don't want them to fail as a leader either it's our job to support them and so it really is that symbiotic relationship between leader follower oath that makes sense yeah actually really liked that you lead with the idea of being around service service and providing Bryant support adding value and that there's a time in place when leadership is sometimes about stepping back to allow others opportunity to take on leadership and then following following them and the underscored this idea that followers want their leaders to succeed right of course they do but being explicit about it is is really important because a true in the inverse right. The leaders want everyone that they're working. That's working working with them. <hes> says to see so that that is a great relationship when you were when you're a little when you were I thinking about this probably was the thing about when I was little but yeah well well. What what did leadership even start to mean to you? Did you see people in in your life that you admired the up to that that saw maybe that potential in you where you we were you the kid that ran for student government or were you. The kid like Organiz People Blurry Kinda quiet like no I did. I did a fair amount of organizing. I didn't run for student government for whatever reason I don't know but I would organize so okay ready for my first <hes> Four A._D.. Leadership I was in eighth grade <hes> and or maybe maybe this was control. I don't know what this was but <hes> I I'll never forget organizing the entire class to stay out in the hall until the late Bell Rang and then we all marched in late together and so that was my first attempt temp corralling in leading a group naturally. I got into a lot of trouble for doing that so I'm also very playful in what I do but that's part of it but I mean I had a ban in high school when I was the leader of the band than <hes> yeah I guess I had a natural Kinda rose to the top. I guess in some form I think leadership comes from confidence but again there is that fine line with control I think you know if we try to control things that actually comes from a place of insecurity right true leadership and being able to back off and no win to you know Noah Gin and influence in when not to that that's that comes from place of confidence and there's a difference yeah did that as you continued in your career. We're you presented with opportunities to step up or did you see them in sort of feel drawn like how did you end up stepping into throughout time and I know the time maybe it wasn't wasn't like the definition of leadership you're using now. Maybe a little bit more control but you had a willingness. You had a willingness. You said it confidence to do this. Yeah I guess so I mean I remember interviewing and getting a job as the the resident assistant assistant at the University of Maryland in the dorms that was <hes> Indian my first real official leadership position of any where other people entrusted knee to at least a position responsibility if not leadership <hes> and then <hes> I work from American Airlines for a number of years in customer service and <hes> I became a trainer. I trained folks. I also was a manager Frieden like being a manager because in that particular case. I didn't know why didn't like it at the time reflecting liking back now I know it was all about physician power. Sing narrow was all about the position and not really creating relationships in the importance of that really was positioned power leadership and it didn't feel right to me and and so they didn't last very long in that role but I guess I always hankered on my own business laid my own business so that's really <hes> you know what I've been doing. For less forty years <hes> is kind of leading in that way yeah yeah and so you you built and sold to successful businesses and I imagine through that time is where you started craft this idea around referrals where those referral based businesses that you were running not not a whole a Lotta look to a degree <hes> it's interesting book publishing businesses and <hes> but I still networks I still <hes> valued the relationships that I formed to allow me to accomplish what I need to accomplish but but I have to say <hes> it really wasn't till after I sold the second business and a buddy of mine. <hes> Franken goes his name and he said Bill. You should be a professional speaker. You'd be really good at it. I go great. What's that I I'd never really seen speakers at <unk> idea speaking in coaching and training to you know outside the corporate environment was foreign to me and and <hes> so I again to look at it and it was a perfect storm for me because I liked entertaining? I'm an old drummer rock and roll band. <hes> I like learning a lifelong learner like you are in and so now I have a job where the way I lead if you will is true learning and implementing and then sharing what I've learned with other people you're healthy ego I think involved in ad and I I get the learn every day and I get the share and people seem to like the way I explain things so <hes> it really wasn't until I formed this new business that I really got immersed in informing study groups and ports of associations that could help me further my business and etcetera etcetera. It sounds like a lot of what you probably are now teaching others. You were applying in those first few years as you're kind of making that shifts no question. Here's one thing I learned if you're experiencing problem in business or anywhere in life but business for this purpose darn good chance somebody else's experienced that problem and they found the answer right and so part of what I do is when I have challenges. I like to find out who knows who knows who who's had that challenge and they found an answer and how can I learned from that yeah. We don't have try to figure it out in a vacuum will one of the things I tell my clients all the time. Time is that there is there's no business challenge that can't be met the relationships in and that's basically what you're describing is that there's always somebody who knows more or can help you or ask the right question. Reflect back a hold of the mirror in us. It's that you could get the answers that you need <hes> and it you stepped into a space where you're getting support. I mean when I left my my day job. I immediately joined the National Speakers Association. 'cause I had been part of an association for my previous work work that will why would I wait a decade and then join like I should join now and accelerate as fast like Hanover the next ten years and it's been tremendous to see the as you are in a space of people who are light both like-minded striving for success and sounds like you you saw it out similar spaces as you're making that shift or yeah I've been a member of the National Speakers Association for Twenty Five years and I showed up as as as kind of a wannabe as we say affectionally and I was a sponge orange for everything I could possibly learn. I've learned a lot now. I give back to you know people ask for my time. I give them some of my time because I've had so many people give me their time <hes> over the years <hes> on the board directors now and that's that's a whole another set of leadership lessons and relationship lessons being on a board yeah so as you were deciding on topics like how did you stumble upon referrals in relation. It's so far right to the work and yet people don't put as much attention is only a handful people I can think of that are making that the focus of their work and most everybody needs to learn more about it. It's true and and <hes> a lot of people bolt referrals is kind of icing on the cake if you will. It's like it's it is a barometer of doing a good job. There's no question that when you do a good job for people you know everyone should be getting unsolicited referrals and introductions. That's a barometer of good relationships bomber people trusting us in the value that we bring in wanting to share value with others. <hes> one of the mistakes I've seen now is that people think if they just serve the heck out of their clients customers they'll get all the referrals they need and you will get some in that counts but they're not always the quantity one and quite often night the quality want so for instance. I just got off the phone with one of my coaching clients and one of his goals in working together. There's not quantity of new people that he conserve. It's it's the right quality for his purposes and to be actually the be more selective than to say no to some opportunities <hes> and so to be more purposeful and here's here's what here's what I know about. The referral process that I've been teaching is that what marketing strategy can you name that will allow you to increase your revenue without increasing your marketing budget right word of mouth is the only thing mouth referrals that actions that whole relationship marketing if you will <hes> side of things and so what we don't want to do is just be passive and hope that they'll come to us we wanna be purposeful purpose fall and and and leverage in a good way leverage those relationships and ask for what we want and and as for introductions people at separate yeah yeah so what made you decide to settle on this as your topic was something else cursing what we actually what happened is an and I my business was facing a huge challenge. Actually this new fledglings seeking business of mine. I was doing okay. I had created a bit of a reputation for myself in the printing industry because I sold Book Publishing Company I knew the printing industry and I was kind of a sales speaker in that arena but it really wasn't going where I wanted to go. They these are low margin businesses. <hes> have a lot of money to to invest in the work I could help them with and so it's actually <hes> driving to Philadelphia from my home in Maryland to attend a a speaking skills course not to learn how to speak better although we can always getting getting better it was actually monitor. Maybe be a franchise with this person <hes> but on the way up I was listening to a guy in a life insurance business talk about referrals in a in the back of my head. I wanted to write a book. I wanted to become more of a specialist. It's not just a generalist and sales and by the time I got. I was got excited about what he was saying. I was thinking but I'd say it this way and I do it this way and here's what I do and so during this course I decided to just experiment with that material Israel so I get up in front of this group and present it turns out they were sales people most of them and so they liked what I was saying about referrals that I was Kinda learned from this other guy and then putting my my stamp on it and that's really within about a month's time that's when I realized I wanted to focus on that I wanNA write a book on that and it was really kind of a culmination of a couple of things coming together <hes> so the lesson I got from that and then I I always share with other people is sometimes we don't have the vision of what we what we know. We want the vision we wanna clear sense of where we're headed and sometimes we don't know where look confused. Whatever so we just keep acting looking for that vision to come right and that's what happened to me and I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that yeah so that's that's good I go great intuition? I mean I think that it's it's also being open. You know you're you're more likely to come across serendipity. If you know we're looking for <hes> <hes> you know you're looking for it <hes> and that you're able to test it to today. We call that a mentally viable product Yo you getting up there. I mean like okay. Let me just trial material not creating a hole course jason putting out a ton of effort and content and you know but you're just like what you guys thinking there. It was great you know and then building it from their involving the people that you want to serve as you're developing material. It's a lot of of great instincts that today were trying to get people to do because too. Many people go into the like their basement studio space and like dry is amazing business plan and then they try to sell it to some market that doesn't even know exists excess sin. Yeah I mean I there's yeah there's so much I could say about that but I'll tell you in terms of the book says fits right into the what you talk about in which you encourage people to do it took me a year to write this book and it took me year because I kept teaching what I learned what I thought and another people would come up to me and they'd share what they did and I get feedback and so by by taking a whole year to teach and learn and teach and share it became better book because of that so really by think about it. It's a lot of people helped me make it a better book. It was a a better book built by the relationships that I forged along the way in actual writing of the book <hes> back in the book. I'm writing now. Radical relevance a lot of it's about how we talk about our value and one thing that I teach is and and is we can write up what we believe our value to be we can right up the words we wanna I used conveyor belt our value et Cetera but we should never do anything marketing related <hes> without talking to our clients or customers or perspective clients or customers you know sometimes we'll talk to our colleagues and that's good that's valuable but it's not the same as talking to someone who actually might engage in the purchase of what you're offering and so say I'm going to do this with my book. I do it with every product being in a vacuum yeah. That's so great I think too many people also make a mistake of asking people who are definitely not their client for feedback you know asking a trusted friend or a family member or a member of their like peer mastermind or something something and then relying heavily on that input but it's not your client is not the people who are going to buy me since it was like testimony sayings along the way so you wrote <hes> get more referrals and then I get referrals now and then the next book I love is title one of my favorites I've ever heard don't keep me a secret so clearly there was more to be talked about. How many years in between these books was this sort of like evolution couple years and I'll tell you how I got that title by the way because it goes back to what I was just saying? I'll never forget I was in Cleveland. I was doing a workshop seminar. Something with the group Guy came up to me afterwards his name's Mitch. I forgot last name but he says you know I'll tell you what I do and I go. Tell me says well when my clients expressed satisfaction faction work I do. I just tell them not to keep secret. I go brilliant no and so I mean he didn't make a term. I didn't make up the term but it's something I've been teaching for years and people love it because it's an easy thing to say is not going to hurt a relationship Asian ship with a please. Don't keep me a secret out there. Okay sure right and so what happened. The reason that book came out actually quite frankly is because they had a to book deal with McGraw Hill In. I owed him another book but I've been writing in a blog long before it was ever called the blog <hes> for probably out of his sixteen seventeen years and so that book was really just all the other things I had written since the first book came out <hes> and <hes> yeah so and then another book came after years after that so yes so tell me what do you find most rewarding about the work you're doing today yeah. I'll tell you my you know the the word superpowers being bandied need about a lot these days <hes> right Kazan against marvel comics in D._C.. Comics and whatnot sometimes called your unique ability. <hes> I think my unique ability or were one of my talents I guess is I have an ability to learn. Synthesize is an explain and so I like that I like <hes> I like my brain hurting trying to get my head around some concepts in figured out a way to write that and explain that people in a way that they get it upbeat with the story a metaphor list. You know five steps to do this whatever it is. I feel like I'm pretty good at that and people tell me I'm pretty good at it and so in I there's a lot of joy for me in doing that. Believe it or not <hes> and so that's probably probably <hes> might best use of my time is is is the creation of my intellectual property. I'm a pretty good marketer. Okay Salesperson a decent speaker <hes> but when it comes to development of the content I think that's what I do the best and part of that's video I love doing video <hes> studio in my office I pop in all the time and doing video and that's really just an extension of this effort to convey information. The folks folks that that'll be useful so imagine like is has to evolve quite a bit to go from <hes> you know as you sort of politely. Call the what the WANNA be speaker who show up so eager as a sponge okay then reach the point where you are helping found the million dollars speakers group clearly. You've developed a team around you. You're clear on. What's your piece to work on? <hes> what was the challenge though like. A- As you thinking about that that transition over time <hes> what was challenging that you had to overcome in it was it thing to learn was a mindset like what was the thing that helped once I got past that I mike now again yeah so we'll mindset is always a play right. We know that <hes> when a my mentors when I was young called me about the power of of belief in essentially am I talking about a religious sense I'm talking about. He said to me said silicates. That's what they call me. When I was younger billy <hes> you know you're GONNA hit challenges from time to time and you know a small business owner his or her inclination usually is to is a tactical answer? Sometimes I'm still look at their strategies and then go tactic. Sometimes they just go to tactics but he says what you really need to do. I go to what your beliefs. What do you believe about the situation? What do you believe about Your Business? Where do you believe about yourself about other people all of that and usually there's a mistaken limiting beliefs in there that are keeping you back and a so whenever I hit a plateau on my own business <hes> I usually remember what Mr Wilkes said the guard? What am I believing about me? You know what's going on here this not allowing me to access my full self and relationships etc and it doesn't mean that I don't change strategies tactics course I do but I have to look at the belief system I and sometimes we know there's this thing in psychology logical cognitive dissonance we may set a goal may have a vision. We have a vision board of all the things we want to accomplish in having life right but if we don't really truly believe we can create that than the brain will just want it. Just want him. Go there it it it brain keep us safe and if there's dissonance there at warning go there so we have to examine that so that's a that's a big part of what and then I always had I had one of my limiting beliefs was that to be more successful to make more money to have a more productive business. <hes> it would create more complication. There was my life would get more complicated and have to hire all these people and I in one. I are a lot of people and I didn't WANNA so that was that was that was a mistaken belief because it doesn't have to be complicated necessarily and I wanted to scale my business. Now Luckily enough I figured it out and I'd scale my business using licensing in licensing my intellectual Alexa property to large corporations <hes> which I call printing money legally because it's really really profitable to do that <hes> and so I've been able to run a million dollar business with a couple of employees <hes> you know so so some people run a million dollar business with got fifty employees <hes> in some do it with a couple of the profitability is quite a bit different. Yeah wow I mean all those things are great. When you're talking about limiting beliefs I wrote about this recently recently actually shared earlier email <hes> linked in I've been getting into habit of sharing old email newsletters linked in people like there's a good no one else is seem by subject line was what is stopping you from sharing your brilliant at the world's <hes> is that was a question I asked colleague <hes> when she was struggling and everyone was giving her advice do this just to this this and so we afterwards gotTa talk and I said you're really smart and savvy and you've done you triple your business in three ears like okay if you if you needed to do something you were just do it like why aren't you doing it you know and then she had a moment and actually figured it out realize what was going on and I think like I've now start to think about that question more when I work with clients because it the tactics doesn't matter right if your brain doesn't think you can achieve it you just self sabotage? Kinda comes to play is true but your belief in hers what made a difference for her right and that's that's the power the relationship that you talk about and sometimes we don't believe in ourselves but if we have someone that we care about and we trust believe in US sometimes that'll tips over right because when I I got in this business I the first thing I did a guy hire me to do sales training so I was I was going to go out and sell sales training deliver sales training and I was. I was scared of that. I wasn't sure if I was up to it. I had a buddy of mine on ever forget. John Hurley said the million he as you know bill. You'll be good at this. This is something you'll be good at and it's like I just needed to hear that and when I heard that go okay you know so that's the gift we give the people sometimes ride is just our belief in them and then that switch flips from one side side to the other <hes> doesn't always flip on our own right and someone else three to near flip at forest and give us a little metaphorical slap side ahead and say you can look at this different way and okay okay. I'm I'm open to it and William that happens right so it's good that's great creating space for that that moment to happen as we're thinking about relationships has been through line of this conversation right so you know you've got your closest sort of circle of confidants and supporters that are really holding you and then as you think about your second and third layers out from that people you meet annually at a conference someone you work with five ten twenty years ago but you have no reason to be working with them now. How do you nurture and sustain those kinds of relationships so that when the moments right there still part of your larger network your what are your thoughts or philosophies practices while the you know the good news of course is one the thing that this digital world of ours in the Internet etc has made it easier for that right <hes> so part of being part of facebook groups in in those sorts of things? Sometimes you get nudge to when you didn't expect to get nuts 'cause she sees somebody's birthdays coming upper. They make a post in that sort of stuff and so <hes> it. It's it's become a little easier but I'll tell you I have one little habit that I try to nurture and keep it going. When I think of someone I try to act on it so I I just <hes> just the other day couple days ago? I guess I remembered a guy that I used to do a lot of business with when I was working for the Printing Industry Guy Ron based in Atlanta and I wonder which Ron's up to you know so I shot him a confines email but I found him on Lincoln and I can reconnected with Lincoln right so it's so this this strategy or the tactic if you will think about someone do something about it right <unk> text them call him leave a message email something and said I know that sounds kind of haphazard in I guess it is in a way but <hes> it's very purposeful and so that's that's been a big part of it <hes> an-and every now and then I will just it like a modern airplane or a hotel room and maybe watching the movie but when I keep my brain act I'll look at my list. I'll go through <hes> my connections on Lincoln. I'll go through connections in my c._R._M.. And I'll just look for people having reached out to meanwhile <hes> in in from a business standpoint. I have my top two hundred lists in these are two hundred people that I've either done business with or wanted to business with and we've connected in some way so I'm not bugging him when I reach out to them just is timing wasn't right or whatever and then colleagues and stuff and <hes> every month. I try to send something of value to this group. <hes> I'll spend almost days worth of time over the course of several days to say all right. What is what is my thing to do this month you know what do I have what little what link can I get like a link to this podcast and I'm doing with you? Maybe we'll be one of those right and how can I reach out with a little bit of value <hes> and so I do that on a regular basis and ah rekindled some relationships that and get on the phone with guys haven't talked to in two or three years catch up right. That's nice so actually every month that two hundred list is getting some sort of little these. Are these short messages. Yes yeah they're real short. There are an email <hes> not everyone on the list necessarily gets everything because it may not apply to them in my relationship with them so one or two months they may get nist and so maybe they get something every quarter for me but so I just looked through when i Abbas tool and yeah it's really sure it's like hey. I just did this podcast. I think you and your sales folks will find this helpful. Feel free to share them. <hes> you know <hes> it's mostly business related occasionally. I do a little personal something <hes> which I probably should do more. I tell you one thing I used to do <hes> I when all my travels I've done a lot of traveling and I used to buy postcards wherever I go by one hundred postcards and on the plane ride home I'd write him out to all my clients and prospects and all these people and and you know that's one of those things that worked so well. I stopped doing it. I think you'd reminder and now I could just take a picture. It could be my own photo. I just send the print runner or whatever these companies are and next thing. I know I've got one hundred and then it is all automated and not just sign them right. It's do so but that's that's. That's the way I stay in touch with folks in John. Corcoran has <hes> he was a guest this show and he's pretty savvy. Stuffy has fifty conversations list so he makes a list of fifty people for the year and then he has a planner that he designed so every a day. There's a spot on the planet for a name from that list every day in sequential order he's name and he thinks okay. Let me do something to this person. Let me see what they're what are they up to. I can share their stuff. I can read a review. I can call them say hey what's going on right like it. It's just like making those fifty people so they every fifty days which is about every other month they hear from him but in a pretty personalized high touch way for sure and so when I worked with my clients I try to help them think about how to create those those like very high level touch points and initially it's it's fifteen minutes twice a week for ninety days because you need to make things a habit but at some point right then you start to then you see the connections. It's amazing to me. You know you're you. I'm sure you would have our time imagining but I have clients who say yeah before I met you I._B._M.. Conversation Thinking Oh you know what book they'd like and then that moment would pass so wouldn't wouldn't offer the book and then I'd write my female 'cause I'm supposed to do that and I go in. Would you mentioned the book. No I was like what happens like. I don't know the book and Mail it to him. Yes all let stuff Yup Yup that extra next you know sometimes it's little step sometimes get extra effort so what are some other things that we could be doing <hes> to to better nurture these relationships too. I mean getting referrals is about people people knowing what you're about right. They know Yuba strong enough personal brand how to refer you but they think of you. They have to think of you in the moment. So how do you stay top of mind. How should I be staying top of mind to make sure people are referring me right so <hes> I want a step back for just one second and talk about this this concept of being referral in the first place? If you know mind because what we found is we did a study that <hes> that there's. There's actually a low correlation between client or customer satisfaction in the giving of referrals as much as we want satisfied clients and they and they're usually pretty loyal. They don't necessarily give referrals to to create this refer ability ability to create engaged clients and by engagement. I is two things one is we have. They have to feel engage with us on the level of value in other words they like the work we do. They like the problems we saw the things we teach the questions we ask all of the response of service right they like the value side of the relationship but they also feel engage with us with who we are individuals and our mission in our purpose and we're likeable and we need both of those and so what we WANNA do was make sure we stay in touch with people with both of those things in mind particularly clients customers prospects <hes> so for instance when you bring on a new prospect a new client into your business or customer you WanNa having on boarding process you onboard them into the business. Welcome down the metaphorical red carpet into your business by providing some more value. Maybe something unexpected a book. You wrote that you know something educational whatever <hes> checking in with them after they get a statement whatever it may be and then you know other people in the office may be calling that person so hey welcome you know we're glad you're looking forward to serve you. Handwritten notes from everybody invitation invitation to a client appreciation of right DISA- were were were connecting on that in that personal in the same thing throughout the entire relationship. How how do we keep staying in touch with our clients undervalue level in how do we stay in touch on kind of personal level and so there was a time <hes> you may be too young to realize this but there was a time when we actually use <hes> written printed on paper newsletters it wasn't all digital and I never forget? I was working with a financial advisor who had <hes> up. Sorry four page newsletter any at a quarter of the newsletter like one half of one page devoted to himself is family. This is vacations. Whatever may be right would was up in his personal life and he decided he was going to take that out and put in some stuff on the stock market investments and whatnot and when he when his new his newsletter newsletter started going out and he started getting calls and they say Doug? Where's that part on your family? s only part we ever read so that's that's the power of that of that human engagement and and laying ar personality shines through and a lot of people. Were you know Kinda reluctant to do that. They wonder if there's value in it but there is value and so that's a little bit on Bien referral. But how do we stay top of mind. <hes> part of it is asking in London. People know that we we we do we want were on a mission to bring our values other people this whole referral stuff it should be mostly about bringing our value to others right. I'd say about seventy percent of when we talk about it when we ask about. How can we bring this important process? How can we bring this important knowledge? How can we bring this important products system whatever other people right being being mission based in Your Business and trying to bring it to other people and and maybe thirty percent could be about the fact that they like you yeah in Your Business and they want to help you to but most of it's about bringing your value to other people and so we've got to bring it up from time to time and we we saw a note don't don't keep us a secret right and <hes> and we and we sometimes have stories that we share of someone who just new client that came to us through a referral through an introduction to replanning those sees all along the way <hes> some <hes> <hes> businesses like the Create Ambassador Clubs in Ambassador Club? <hes> is your customers clients who have engaged in the referral process and your nurturing them to become advocates for you so maybe four times a year or twice a year you having Ambassador Club event and you celebrate and you have some fun and and that sort of thing this is so there's like so much here when unpack there was one thing that you have mentioned quickly. <hes> I know as a speaker that one of the things so you might do to let people know that beyond speaking you also coach. Is You know from the stage you or if you want people know you wrote a book you'd say like Oh and I go into more detail in my book or are here's a sears one thing my client experience and you're saying things when talking to clients you might let them know about how you've been referred by other people in order to make the idea of being referred <hes> a natural thing that happens and a thing that you appreciate acknowledge allege <unk>. It's a culture yes owning a culture of referrals introductions valuing that here's a very simple thing that anybody can do. That's part of that culture on your outgoing voice message when you're not available in your voice matches goes out to them you say in the proverbial. Please leave a message to tone and if you <unk> if you were recommend to us. Please let us know who we need to thank. If you recommended to us. Please let us know who we need to think that descends the message out to the world that you get recommended. It's part of what you do. It's so important that you actually have it on your outgoing voice message. You thank these people you celebrate it. That's one of those things that it's part of the culture sure <hes> another one is is giving referrals and making connections for your for clients. You know maybe your client doesn't own business so you're not going to send them prospects but you can connect with someone else who can help them with their business right so giving is a big part of it too and making connections for other so all of this goes into the culture yeah introductions. It's so interesting I can think of how I've used some of these techniques and other ways as I built other communities and going back act piece about printed newsletters turning forty five this year so I do I wrote you don't look that I was brought up stuffing envelopes and I think the only thing might children you know they'll Warren Buffet at my children. Children were deprived of poverty. My children deprived of the ability to stuff a newsletters because it won't be a thing but I that piece about storytelling and personal <hes> storytelling my my rhythm rhythm with my email newsletter really hit a good stride when I started to tell stories the beginning of each one so <hes> it's a you know a few hundred words story weaves in my life I talk about my kids and sometimes the things that I went to our saw or just things I witnessed. I included challenge for the week sit. They have like four bullets of what they could do to like. Meet a business challenge related to my story and then I include my links to my podcast and I went to archived episode you know because I know plenty of people are opening them that are not clicking through to the listen but they liked my my content piece because it is like you said it's a personal. He's a narrative that people really want to know. This is the going back to the whole people you know no like entrust and care about right like this is who we we've developed. I love this idea of culture around it so we are wrapping up time here and I have a question I love. It's my my favorite at a ending question so to build when we're connecting a year from now and I I'm thrilled to know that I'm going to actually see you in person at a at influence which is pretty awesome but let's say we're can actually you're now and we are celebrating all of your success and <hes> just like everything you've accomplished in the previous year. I want to know what we're going to be celebrating woody most looking forward to in the year ahead well. I'll tell you one thing is is getting this thorn book. I'm writing right now. Finished <hes> it's called radical relevance sharpen your value proposition cut through the noise and win more ideal clients and so it's how we talk about our value. I've got a chapter near on <hes> the neuroscience of relevance <hes> neurosciences very sexy topics. I wanted put that in there but it's actually very relevant to the book on relevance and <hes> so I I you know I I I've been. Let's just had been making it a better book by taking some time to write it but now it's time to get it done <hes> so we're getting being close to getting into the editor knock on wood so yeah we're going to be celebrating the fact that the book came out and <hes> to the successful launch and it's helped a lot of people <hes> and maybe I've made a few dollars in the process so that's a big part of it and then <hes> I'm engaged to be married so <hes> we haven't set a date yet. We're still working on a few things but maybe that one will be <hes>. I don't WanNa make it sound cold checked off. That's the wrong way to talk about it but that will be accomplished <hes> within a year's first time as well so kind of one business one personal yeah we'll definitely celebrate both of those things like successful book launch supporting all these people and and congratulations on your upcoming nuptials so <hes> how can people best find you in folly work bill sure well referral coach Dot Com is the is the website referral coach Dot Com and it's bill cates who the scene that Bill Gates. I know that some people did a double take and they taught how to Robbie Bill Gates the beyond his his podcast but it's <hes> you could even do you bill cates dot com and that'll take the same place and you'll see that there are places to reach out to me and I I'm very accessible. I like to talk to people like to engage usually through an email and then we'll then we'll figure out if it makes sense to pick up the phone but that's the best way to get started art ads brilliant. Thank you for joining US really appreciate it. You hope you enjoyed an interview with bills such a pleasure to speak with him and learn about his leadership journey. What is your key takeaway from our conversation and something will put into action this week? You'll benefit from for years to come share resonated with you in the show notes on the SCHMOOZE DOT COM look for episode one hundred and fifty five that's also real fine all the links and resources from today's show as well <music> over one hundred and fifty archive episodes on this pinterest inspired page reach out and let me know which we're your favorites. Have you been thinking about working with me that ready to commit to a six month or longer program. Send me an email to ask me about the more fundamentals a three month program they get to the information. You need to take your business the next level the relationship based business strategies and gives you the access the community that will support you. My email is Robbie at ROBBI SAMUELS DOT COM. I'm also accepting just one or two more one-on-one coaching clients. If that sounds intriguing please reach out. I'd love to hear your story. If you enjoy this episode with Bill Please share it with your friends and don't forget to subscribes you. Don't miss next week. Show remember subscribing as always free. Are you a fan. That's awesome. I'd love to read your review and Apple podcasts. It's easy to find our page. I tunes dot on the Schmooze Dot Com thank you advanced and look forward to connecting again next week. They'll be entering another town professional about their untold stories of leadership and networking would slow their career challenges work life balance and how they built a strong professional network on the way to becoming a successful eater Huntsville then have an awesome.
1698: Adair Cates: Heart-Brain Coherence for Entrepreneurs
"Welcome to the conscious millionaire. Show Episode Number Sixteen Ninety Eight. This is a dare cates host of the morning light show and on today's show. I'll discuss brain coherence for entrepreneurs to conscious millionaire the number one show for conscious entrepreneurs and CEOS on a mission to build a highly profitable business. That makes a positive impact on Egypt's discover how to make bigger money create a bigger impact and live a bigger live. You're listening to the conscious meaner network per by over twelve million listeners. In one hundred ninety countries now join your host. Jv Chrome the third the conscious their mentor. Master coach Speaker and author of the number one international bestseller conscious millionaire. Grow Your Business by making a difference this. Jv With an important question for established six and seven figure entrepreneurs. Do you want to know up front? How much profit you will make every quarter throughout twenty twenty? Then enter to receive a prophet breakthrough session get specific profit strategies to grow. Your Business and create your profit plan for twenty twenty so you can take control over. Your Business and make twenty twenty your best year. Ever inner now Goto cogent analytics Dot Com forward slash profit twenty twenty again. Go Now to coaching analytics. Dot Com forward slash profit twenty. Hello this is J. V. I am so glad you chose to join us today. I want you to think of this. Not just as a podcast or a radio show but much more it's an entrepreneurial training for you we're GONNA be talking about mindset strategy execution and it's all designed for you the entrepreneur who's on a mission to build a highly profitable business that makes a positive impact. Now help me welcome featured guest. She's a highly sought after exchange certified guide and self mastery coach. She guys spirited achievers on a journey of constant growth and expansion and invites them to use their unique strengths to manifest their brightest future. Doing what they love being an alignment with their true purpose and making a positive impact in the lives of others. I guess today Adair cates dare thank you so much for joining us today. Happy to be here. I'm excited to hear more because you know you and I've gotten to know each other. We've had some chats and I really respect the work that you're doing that's why I wanted to bring it out to our community. You are definitely a woman on a mission to make a difference. What's that positive impact or transformation? You help your customers achieve. Yeah so thank you for having me on this show. I'm really excited about this opportunity and thrilled to share a practice. That has made all the difference in my life with other entrepreneurs out there and it's this practice of heart brain coherence and in fact. I would say it's really more than a practice. It's a way of living but I'm going to share on the show today. A really simple way that we can tune in to our heart brain. Coherence we a lot about mindset as entrepreneurs that our inner world is what creates our outer world however many of us have been wired to think that the brain is the central operating system that we always need to be focused on and we need to watch our thoughts. However what I've learned. Is that when we drop into our hearts and we see that as our true source of power it actually influences our mindset in a way that we never could even dream possible. Well absolutely. Let's dig down into heart brain coherence. What actually is occurring? When you build heartburn coherence? And why is that so important? Yes so first and foremost I WANNA shout out to heart math because the heart math organization has been studying the heart intelligence for over thirty years and has done absolutely incredible scientific research on the power of our hearts and the intelligence the actual brain that lives inside of our heart so heart heart brain. Coherence is a state in which we are. Heart is speaking to our brain and our brain is speaking to our heart at its optimal way and I could really dig into the science there but it's pretty technical. It's something called heart rate variability. Which is the beat to beat. Difference in our heart rate and a higher your heart rate ver- ability the better or higher coherence. You're actually in and so some of the listeners. Who are entrepreneurs may have seen a lot of big teachers out there? Talk about when we get into the energy of appreciation. They may have seen this visual of how there's a smooth heart brain coherence and lines. That are very even and smooth in terms of the waves and then compared to women were in a in a space of frustration when it's really jogging and and Inconsistent so some entrepreneurs have actually seen that visual before and they can kind of. Oh yeah remember what? They're talking about here however even if you haven't seen the visual they're just imagine it's it's basically the way that your brain and heart are talking to each other and to your whole central nervous system your autonomic nervous system so that you're really in OPTIMA wellbeing optimal energy your in your energy field as that is most expensive place and your brain is at its best thinking abilities when you're in heart coherence. So how do you get into heart coherence? Because I see the value of it in certain from here with the Heart Mountain Institute. But how do you move into that state? Great question well. There's lots of different tools that you can take a look at on the heart method website but the one that I tune into more frequently than anything else and I lead audiences through this unpacked. I'd just lead audiences last weekend of five hundred people into this technique and it takes two minutes or less and basically all you WanNa do is just take some deep. Breaths closure is get centered. Get grounded in your deep breathing. And then imagine your breath moving in and out of your hearts and then the next layer the third piece is to go into that state of gratitude or appreciation for someone or something or someplace that you're really grateful for and then just breathing in that sensation of appreciation and gratitude. Leads you to feel fill up your body with all kinds of you know good oxygen Good good bio chemical reaction and then ultimately here you are in coherence so I'm would like you to just repeat those real quickly again because you may be listening and going. Wait a minute. I didn't get that. Maybe you're driving. Maybe you're at the gym. So what are the three steps again? Gotcha so deep breathing is step. One so let. Let's start with deep breathing. How does somebody on NYPD on a lot of deep breathing but there might be a specific technique or new? Might be listening and going. I'm not exactly sure. What deep breathing us. Yeah because a lot of us don't breathe very deeply throughout the day so just breathing to account of five or six breathing in to account of five or six breathing out to counter five or six and doing at five or six. Times is a really good way to start this practice. Okay so that's the first thing to do. And Yeah just five or six time so not even a minute two at the most. Yep just enough to get your. You'll start to fill your yourself. Calmed down and get a little and I know I use these things in your body to get into flow so one of the things I know happens when you do deep breathing become very present. Yes exactly Yup. You're tuned in your present. You kind of feel that sensation. So that's the first step. The second step is taking all of your energy and attention and focus into your heart space and you can do this either by just putting your hand on your heart or just imagining your breath going in and out of your heart and then you'll continue those deep breaths. You know inhaling to account of five or six exhaling to account five or deep even breasts just while imagining that the air is going in and out of your hearts so that's the second step fruit and then third STA and in the third step is thinking of something or someone or some place that you're grateful for so you can bring. I've been image of your hat or your spouse or your best friend or even a beautiful place in nature Even a memory that you have an experienced that brings you a lot of joy when you think about it and just feel the same sensation of gratitude that you feel when you're in the presence of that person or or when you're in that beautiful place in nature when you're remembering not experience and then as you breed you you want to imagine that feeling expanding throughout your whole body so moving beyond your own heart and then filling up your whole body with all of that good energy in that good feeling sensation continuing those breaths you know. Count counting in five an exhaling to five or six as well excellent. So you're not manure you're listening and you're going okay. So how do I bring this in to my growth as an onto Muir to my building my business to my making more prophets to my making more impact? How does an entrepreneur specifically utilize this? There's a few different ways that I would recommend that you immediately start using this practice. One of one of them is if you have some type of morning practice. I A lot of entrepreneurs zoo like a miracle morning or some type of a morning practice. Where they're doing meditation journaling reading spiritual texts. Whatever that might be bringing us into your practice before you start is an excellent way to get yourself in to your optimal states. Before going into meditation or visualization or anything else that you may do as part of your morning practice so that's one way another way as any I lead groups of people on the facilitator and so anytime I leader group we start with a heart coherence and it literally gets to the place where it's the one thing one of the things that people most look forward to about their interactions and their sessions with me. It's just that opportunity to get centered and to tune in and so before you leader group before you have a meeting Before you have a podcast interview could be anything as a way just to get into your best state before moving into whatever that is excellent. So I'm going to expand this out and go in an area that we haven't touched on an awhile because every entrepreneur as you grow you end up with a team. That team can be virtual. That team can be an office. That team can be a working a you know a co working space. How could you utilize this practice in your team meetings and with your team on a regular basis so that everybody's getting the benefit of this well first and foremost it starts with you because if we are in our optimal state than we're bringing our best energy to every engagement that we are coming into with any group of people so that's the first step and then you know a lot of people are bashful about leading people through this or they feel weird or like? It's kind of funny or strange to do that. However I've had many leaders who have said. Hey I tried your heart meditation. It was a little bit challenging and a little bit weird the first time but people really appreciate it and I noticed that you know we communicated better as a team that everybody's spoke more in the meeting. They spoke up. The people who maybe didn't talk much actually spoke up in the meetings. I've had people share with me that when they're brave enough to actually do this not just for themselves but for groups of people that they're leading and meetings or with their team that they actually can see the results so seeing the result that brings me to p master master certified in a coach and trainer. So you've got visual auditory and kinesthetic and you said you can see the results but let's go through three of those what might happen. Visually while might happen auditore early. And what might happen on a kinesthetic or feeling Okay so auditory I'm not really sure I'm not really sure you're going to hear people's voices and you're you're there. Let's let's go because I know you're very visual. Let's the visual first and the auditory. I'm I'm thinking maybe the way someone speaks to themselves inside might shift. Yeah Oh absolutely. There's no there's no question that it shifts the way that you speak to yourself inside and your own internal language and definitely is going to shift the way that you speak to others as well because when you're really centered and grounded in your heart you're you're gonNA speak from a place of truth you're gonNA speak from a place of compassion and you're gonNA speak more from a place of love rather than just being up in your head so I would say that's auditory. That's that's how my someone look through the rise and see the world differently. What what I've experienced in what other people have told me that they've experienced is that they actually they see themselves differently and they see other people differently as well. They dropped judgments They drop assumptions. They notice and appreciate things about people that maybe they didn't notice her appreciate before. In fact they people have even told me like things that felt contentious or tents or whatever no longer bothered them in the same way and what might be the kinesthetic shift in their body the experience that they have in their body of themselves this this might be the most notable piece of the three It's a sense of calm. It's a sense of connection to something bigger than them It's a sense that we are all one. And that we are all connected and overall. Just HYPER PRESENCE HYPER PRESENT. So this is heart. Bring coherence if if this is new to. You Might WanNA listen to it a second time. If you're listening on our radio show you can subscribe to get all our podcasts. At conscious millionaire show DOT com. And I'm here with a gear cates. She is the host of the podcast the morning light show. And we're GONNA be right back. I WANNA remind you we've got the twenty four hour challenge coming up the conscious millionaire expert questions. There's much more on the show so be sure to stay tuned. We'll be right back this. Jv Chrome the third CEO of conscious millionaire with an important question for established. Entrepreneurs was six figures or more revenue. If you feel stuck or aren't growing your profits fast enough. Do you WANNA be able to predict your prophet so you can almost guarantee how much money will put into your bank account month after month. Then get a prophet breakthrough session with coach an analytics call or text. Andrew now at seven seven zero seven one three three three three three again call or text. Andrew at seven seven zero seven. One three three three three three. That's seven seven zero seven one three three three three three welcome back. I'm JV crumble third of the host of the conscious millionaire's show. And I'm here with our featured guest Adair Kate. She's the host of the podcast the morning light show. We've been discussing heart brain coherence for entrepreneurs you know. I want to give a special shout up first of all to you to each person. Who's listening? Thank you so much for showing up for yourself to take another step forward to build that. Highly profitable business that makes a positive impact for doing business in a new more conscious way. That's not only more profitable but more valuable to your clients and more meaningful and fulfilling to you a special shout out to our listeners in Atlanta Georgia and San Diego California. You know it's time for the twenty four hour challenge dear. Could you get that challenge to everyone listening today? Okay the challenge today is to practice the heart coherence breathing that I introduced in the first segment at least one time over the next twenty four hours and a great way to do it is maybe just right after you listen to the show. Just stop and you can set your timer. If you want to or you can just go into the three part of the deep breathing breathing in and out of your hearts and then bringing into gratitude. Then just sit with that for a few minutes until you feel that sense of grounded. Nece and calmness and gratitude that will overcome you as you get into heart brain coherence and so just a one. Two three gives those three steps again if you would absolutely so breathe deeply. You can inhale to account of five or six and exhale to account of five or six and then after you've done that five or six times just put your attention on your heart. Maybe it will help you to actually put your hand on your heart or just. Imagine your attention dropping into your heart. It's best if you close your eyes. And then imagine the breath moving in and out of your hearts again. Same Count of five or six on the inhale and excel and then think of something or someone or someplace that you're grateful for. Maybe a pet a spouse a favorite beautiful place in nature and then fill your hearts and your whole body with gratitude as you breathe. Thank you so much deer and you know. And now it's time for the conscious millionaire expert questions I want to start with mindset. What is the mindset that you've been able to develop that helps you discover your best business opportunities well I used to always talk about mindset and I still do talk about mindset but often times I do it through the filter of the heart I But if we're strictly talking about mindset and mentality in the way that I think For me personally. The biggest breakthroughs have come from Discipline and consistency. So I'm pretty like free spirited person naturally and me being really committed to a morning practice for example where I'm getting up every single morning at four thirty or five o'clock in the morning. I'm writing a meditating. I'm doing some reflection. I'm reading and spiritual tax and doing heart breathing. I've done that for like over ten years and it just keeps growing and it just keeps becoming more and more of a part of who I am as a person and in fact that morning discipline and routine that I've created for myself as actually what birds the morning light show because I wanted to almost create like an additional piece or tool of my own routine to offer support and practices to the people that listen to the show while they're drinking their coffee or dry in their handwriting their hair going and taking their commute to work. And how do you utilize that to find your business opportunities well to me? My business opportunities often times come through intuition so I think it's a it's a combination of having some structure and discipline in place but then also heart breathing and being in my heart and to my intuition because when I'm in that optimal coherent state I'll get these little intuitive nudges. That just Kinda drop in and it'll be like email this person or call this person or reach out to this person and it'll be somebody that I have it. Maybe haven't thought about in a long time or it could be somebody that doesn't even make any sense but every time that I follow that something comes of it either I get a new client or they lead me to another client or we. You know have coffee and they'd bring up an idea. That's something I can add into my business but when I when I'm tuned in and I'm listening to those intuitive nudges that's really where a lot of the magic happens in my business. So what's the strategy that you utilize that you could recommend to entrepreneurs listening today to become more profitable in their business? Well for me. The strategy is all about the having those consistent structures put into place that are going to lead you to those intuitive nudges that I just talked about so for me. It's the it's the morning routine and it's making sure that you know in my. I start my day in a way that I have. My Heart in my mind alignment so that I'm open to listening to my intuition. That's really the the foundation of of how I've grown and how I learn. And you know how new ideas come to me that lead me to to more profitability two more opportunities And what Gosh only knows what so. That's that's what I would say is most important in my business at conscious millionaire. We have a formula for creating wealth conscious focused action now. You can use to make all the money that you WanNa make but you can also use it to create wealth and other ways in one way we create wealth is giving back so I'm curious what's an action you take on a regular basis. A conscious focused action that allows you to make a bigger contribution so I would say one is as much as I can leading groups through heart. Coherence and meditations Is One of the biggest ways that I give back to other people in that may sound. Kinda strange but My belief is that when we're all at our best. Were all able to give our best to other people and so it actually creates a ripple effect for me to be at my best and then be able to offer that to other people in the groups that I lead it leads them to have more compassion for others and want to get back if forgiving back from a place of scarcity or lack obligation. We're not going to be nearly as full or fulfilled as we are for. If we're doing it from a place of internal wholeness so I can't say that there's any one specific thing that I always give back to. But I follow my intuition. I follow my heart's from that place of alignment and I see what happens from there. What's a book that you'd recommend to help entrepreneurs become more successful? Make a bigger impact. Well since we're talking about coherence today I would have to say the book Heart Intelligence and it's by Docs Children Howard Martin And there's a couple of other authors on that as well but it's really all the facts and science around this whole idea of the heart having an intelligence if you're listening and you're going you know I resonate in my heart with what a deer K. To saying you probably want to reach out to. Or what's the best way for people to reach you? You can find me on my website at a dare cates dot com and also check out the morning light show which is available anywhere you can listen to a podcast. And we'll have a link to all of those as well as the social media links to gear on the show notes at conscious millionaire show dot com just go to conscious millionaire show dot com. Scroll down to today's title heart brain coherence for entrepreneurs. You know you you're expanding your growing. You're doing important things in the world. What's your next. And what might be a challenge or obstacle you have to overcome to get to that summit top? Yeah wow what a good question so for me. I'm still really in the building phase of my business. I'm about almost exactly a year in When this episode airs and Yeah. There's there's just lots more to come for me. I I'm really intentional about building partnerships I don't love to just Kinda do one and done Facilitation engagements I prefer to build partnerships with organizations. You WanNa bring me in To not only help their employees get into their hearts but to help them achieve their personal goals at work. That's a big passion that I have is helping conscious entrepreneurs who wanna make a difference who want to have a culture inside their company that is Heart centered and also Achievement Focus I. I love doing that work because it it. It really fulfils me in a way that is personally fulfilling but also I know that it's the filling the legacy of the business owner entrepreneur and also exposing the team members to something that many of them have never had access to before. Which is this whole idea that I can create my life so The the real seven is going from a one time engagement to multiple engagements and building those kinds of relationships. What's the legacy WANNA leave? I would? I would hope that when people think of me one day they're gonNA think of me as somebody who truly lived from my heart's Who was abundant and growth minded and Compassionate and I definitely often think about my legacy in terms of what my what my children will be left with so my my hope is to leave them with a business that if they choose to work in that business they will have the ability to do that because there were 'cause Ramon profit you'd like to give a shoutout to heart heart math. Yes they have a number of it. Yeah they have a nonprofit arm as well as a for profit arm and That hearth institute is taking those donations and getting those donations is what allows for all the great research that they do a deer. A great heart. Matthew's group group of people you know without him on the show I certainly have done a lot of recent and research on them and they really are doing profound work. I want you to skate tune because upcoming is the going deeper second. We're going to be talking about collective well-being when we return at conscious millionaire. We believe in building businesses that inspire uplift customers high profit businesses that make an impact. Hide this. Jv With an important question for you. Are you a startup or five? Figure business? Who wants to make twenty twenty year breakout year? Do you want to put more cash into your bank account and impact more people? Well I'm reaching out to you because I need your input. Tell me how we at conscious millionaire can best help you. By completing survey twenty twenty go now to conscious millionaire DOT COM FORD SLASH SURVEY. Twenty twenty again go now to conscious millionaire dot com forward slash survey twenty twenty make. Your Voice heard welcome back on. Jv crumble third on the host of the conscious millionaire show and I have a very special featured guest with us today. A dare cates. She's at host of the morning light show and we've been discussing heartbreak coherence for entrepreneurs and now it's time for the going deeper segment of the show and we're going to be discussing collective well-being so I'll have you start out a dare. What does that phrase mean to you? Well first and foremost it means thriving individually so inside of ourselves being in that heart brain coherent state and then when we take that out into a group setting be it you know a seminar or conference that I'm facilitating where I use the heart brain coherence technique to start us out or t meeting or whatever that might be. Its first and foremost getting tuned into ourselves. But then what happens when we are incoherence is we actually create our own energy in vibration as a group and so when we're all incoherence we all lift up to our highest level together and in fact you know even if everyone in the room isn't incoherence if most of the people in the room are in coherence or even just a select few or in high enough coherence and actually lifts other people into that same frequency in that same energy so for looking at collective well-being what we're really focusing on is each of us becoming are bask each of us getting in harmony with ourselves each of us doing our personal work which involves many aspects of who we are. Each of us bringing are calling and purpose into the world and then collectively working together for me. That collective working together is to make a bigger impact or to support causes For Instance My global nonprofit is working with Youth Eighteen to twenty five to become the next generation of conscious leaders with a singular outcome. How can we create a world in which everyone can win? And part of that includes empowering people so that they can start to believe that they can win and have the skills to they can win. What are some of the collective things that are important to you? Yeah so dropping. Ego is is a big one and letting go of blame and shame and negatively. You know I think a lot of times always see on the news and all we experience if we start looking outside of us is a my gosh. The world is in a total mess right now and I actually don't believe that that's true. I think that's what we've been sold. So when we can stop looking at you know what the media is portraying is happening and instead go inside of ourselves and find that place and then invite other people to come to that same place with us and be in gratitude and joy and higher vibration emotions. Then we're all flourishing and we're thriving together and we totally debunk what's being shown on the media and you might be asking yourself you're listening and going. I like this idea of collective well-being but I'm not sure how to get started or were what the direction is for me. What would be some advice? You'd have for anyone listening. Who really wants to tap into their own vision of collective well-being and start bringing that forth is part of what they're doing with their life. Yeah that's a great question. So the first thing is you have to let go of fear You know I think a lot of times we get into this place of fear and competition and drive and achievement. And there's not enough and when we get in when we were stuck in that mindset. We tend to not be at our best and we tend not to bring the best out in other people. So that's really the first pieces to let go of fear. Do the heart breathing get in your coherence state as often as you can. And you'll start to see that you naturally shift your frequency into love and the fearful thoughts and the self talk. That's not helpful starts to fade away and starts to go away so that you can thrive inside yourself and thus bring out collective thriving as well so it's really going against the grain. It's being okay with not being normal And it's it's pushing the envelope a little bit on what people think is normal. No so I love that aspect of. What's normal you know I have twenty hours of stats? Undergrad and graduate school between my graduate degrees and all my studies and psychology. And what's normal is really just what comes to the middle of a bell curve right so and yet sometimes we we talk about normal as right. It's what's right but actually it's just statistically the majority of the people are doing so if you think about it folks something I've been thinking about a lot. Lately is the fact that over time over the historical time line. What we tend to discover is the vast majority of whatever were the normal beliefs at any time in history over time turn out to be inaccurate. The IT turns out the earth is round it turns out the sun isn't revolving around the earth. You know and today. We think we have more enlightened insights about quantum physics about being conscious but a hundred years from now people are going to look back and they're gonNA go. Wow that that was a pretty primitive view. You know. They didn't really get it very correct. I mean they were kind of on some of the right tracks but they didn't put the pieces together the way we now know they can fit together and then one hundred years from then people will look back to them go while they were missing some important pieces you know and they thought they had all the dots so I think it's really important for us to acknowledge that normal is just what most people are thinking or while most people are behaving at any time but it really doesn't mean it's the right thing so now we come to authenticity right a dare and I know that's an area that you know is very big for you so the real question is what's authentic for you that seems to me and then where does that authenticity take you. In terms of the collective well-being you want to contribute to. You want to help create. Yeah what's authentic to me is Abundance and growth mindset and thinking about expanding and I think oftentimes we've been tricked into thinking that it's the opposite of all of those things that there's not enough to go around that only a few people can make it to the top that there's you know a shortage of resources resources or whatever it might be that is in that place of scarcity or lack But what's authentic for me? Is that were expansive? Beings were growing and that their unlimited possibilities absolutely. Well dear really appreciate you coming on the show. I'd like to end with just a moment as talking about your podcast. The morning light show. What is that podcast about? And how can people subscribe to it? Yeah so the morning light show is a way to start your day in twenty minutes or less with practices and thoughts and ways of approaching your day. That are going to help you be in that heart coherent place. I talk about all types of different topics based on the whole Based on the foundation of self mastery. And it's just a really good way to get grounded in who you want to show up as for the day so that you can create not just a great day for yourself but a great day for other people as well and is a dear. Kate Dot Com. Is that the best place for people to go to listen to get subscribed. Yes absolutely I want to thank you now. I WanNa take a moment and say how important it is to me that you showed up because it wasn't for me it was for a dare the truth is you showed up for yourself. You showed up because you were ready to take another step forward and if you've heard me say so many times there are no accidents. This was the material you needed to take your life in Your Business and your whole journey as an entrepreneur to the next level. We're here to support you building that highly profitable business and making your positive impact so that you can live a life. That's literally bigger more fulfilling that you can achieve more and just show up in ways that right now you may not even be able to imagine if this show has been valuable to you if it's been powerful and meaningful it would mean a lot to me if you would tell some of your entrepreneur friends about the conscious millionaire show because we're on a mission to impact more entrepreneurs to uplift them to help them make a bigger impact by creating a more profitable business. That's helping more people and I look forward so much to connecting with you on the next conscious millionaire Adair. Thank you so much for being are featured guest today It was wonderful to be with you. Thanks for listening to conscious million media. Podcast radio network the hosts producers of the show distributors and broadcast media. Make no claims that the tragedies information discussing show resulting province ultimate losses the opinions and advice from the host guests do not necessarily represent those are the owner staff management broadcast of the show illegal counting or financial or health. Advice has made it show. You advise a seek counsel naturally to Your Business Financial investments or other legal matters from licensed advisors always gonNa tell your physician or license health advisor prior to making any changes in your diet. Exercise Program implementing any health strategies or information discussed on the shows now information provided baby suitable for your situation as always take full responsibility for the decisions and actions you take including responses that they create in your health.
Standup Week Sunday Night
"Chompers is produced by Gimblett and sponsored by crest and oral B. Welcome back. It's time for chompers your morning and night tooth brushing show star -freshing on the top on one side and brushing all the way to the molars in the back. Breath. It's stand week. And in today's show, the comedians are you chop ins. Let's start the show. All right. Our first champion is five years old. And he's from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and his name is sadness. And without further ado fatty joke why my nose to our benches long why because then be fun. Switzer rushing to the other side of the top of your mouth and keep making tiny circles with your toothbrush. Okay. Our next joke is from Luke. Let's give Luca one. Welcome. How many tip those does it take a to push to laugh? I don't know ten to goes. All right next up. We've got Allie. Allie ticket away. Why was the teachers is crossed? Why because she couldn't control her pupils. Switcher brushing to the bottom of your mouth immature. You're brushing the inside the outside and the chewing side of each tooth. All right guys, next up all the way from Ireland. We've got jokes from Kate and Amy Cates. Let's hear it. Why did Herkie not any Christmas dinner why because he was stuffed? And now, Amy and note here in Ireland where Amy is from they called toilet paper. Toilet rolls. Why does it tune it Rogo down here? Why to get to the bottom? Time is what you're rushing to the other side of the bottom of your mouth your tongue brush to. All right. Here's a joke from champion, Frankie. What would Siegel be if they fool were the bay? What they repay go. All right. Taken us on home tonight Alice. Sandra Alexandra, take it away. When it's late at night. What this the peanut butter say to the Joni. I don't know it's time for bread. Speaking of bread. I mean bed all this laughing zwicky may so sleepy. So that's it for chompers today. But special thanks to all you champions who send in your jokes. We loved every single one of them and don't have time three to one. Chompers is a production of Gimblett media. Hey champions. We to know what questions. Do you have about school starting school can be really fun, but sometimes it can be a little bit confusing. So we want to hear your back to school questions. Anything you might be curious about things like what do I need to know about starting at a new school or making new friends, what kind of rules might my classroom have. And what do I do from feeling sick? Tell your grown up your question and have them send it to us at chompers dot dental. We might use your question to help us. Make an upcoming episode of choppers. Grownups that address. Again is chompers dot dental. Chompers is brought to you by crest and oral B grownups. It's April, but with oral B, you won't have to worry about fooling your dentist. Right now is the perfect time to replace your kids. Toothbrushes Orel be has all kinds of toothbrushes for every age of kid from their first tooth to their full set of grownup jumpers plus crest. Toothpastes are safer your kids enamel and come in flavors. The love like strawberry in bubblegum. So grownups don't be a fool. Give your kids a big, healthy smile with crest and oral B.
Interview with Bill Cates: Multiply Your Best Clients
"Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the three x value. podcast cast my name is Kerry Sol's Value Growth Advisor and author of the bestseller. Multiply your business value in three steps. I I start every episode with a bit of Trivia of the State of New Hampshire and for today might trivia tip is at the University of New Hampshire was founded in Durham. Durham New Hampshire over near Portsmouth in eighteen sixty six. The University of New Hampshire serves undergraduate population of ten thousand. Five hundred. Good students. So one more thing. You know about New Hampshire. I'm joined today on the three x value growth. PODCAST built cates. I let me welcome bill. Thank you great to be here. Where are you calling in from Bill? I live in Annapolis Maryland. I've been here for about a year on the water. Beautiful City on the water do do sailing. No more of a power boater. But I haven't purchased the boat yet I. I decided to have friends with boats the little easier and less trouble. Yeah the work is isn't on your shoulders. That's right definitely so all right bill. Thank you again for joining us for those of you. Who Don't know bill? Let me give you just a brief introduction to Bill Gates Bill Gates started built and sold sold to successful book publishing companies. Bill is now the founder and president of referral coach International and works with businesses who want to multiply their best S. clients by adopting proven processes to generate more purposeful word of mouth referrals and introductions from advocates. The bill is also the author of three bestselling books. Get more referrals now. Don't keep me a secret and beyond referrals. His newest book will. We'll be radical relevance and scheduled for release this month Yup hopefully by the end of this month excellent. Congratulations the tidal title. For seven questions interview is multiply your best clients and we will do that in just seven minutes. Are you ready. I'm ready. Let's do it your seven-minute starts now bill. Who's your ideal client? My ideal climb for my business our advisers other professionals in their firms who want to like you said multiply their best clients and I believe that serving the heck out of clients will create incremental growth. And we need to do that. But if we have ways to leverage to promote introductions than we can create exponential growth and everybody wants to increase revenue without increasing their marketing budget. And it's the introduction. Said will allow them to do that. Very cool so my second question is what is the problem that you see that you solve for these businesses to help them create more clients. Sure these days it's reaching enough of the right people I've Kinda coined a phrase right fit client and so I don't care how successful someone is how long they've been in this business. They usually want at least another right. Fit Client someone. They were meant to serve someone who was meant to be served by them and well one of the biggest problems in reaching. Those people is Well I should say is reaching those people right. It's hard to get through all the noise. It's hard to get on their radar so the introduction the closest weight or the easiest way to become relevant then get on. Someone's radar is through an introduction from someone else they trust and so if we can meet more people through introductions not just word of mouth not just hey call George use my name. It's really getting introduced. And then my newest book radical relevance takes over from there of how do we message our value. How do we message is what we do in a way? That's going to resonate with this new suspect that Opel become a right at client. So it's it's reaching more of the right people many advisers. Tell me if they can just get in front of enough of the right people they can take it from there. So that's where I help and so my third question is what are the typical symptoms of of that problem that you see prospects clients experiencing and to make them realize that they have this problem. Sure he'll most people kind of know they have it and I just got off a coaching call with a client. Who's going through our video based training in them? We're GONNA work in person and it's kind of a mix of things but one of the challenges they have. We're actually getting the connections right. They have clients who are willing to talk about them. They're creating word of mouth sometimes. Those connections are made but a lot of places places the connections are not being made. They're not getting actually introduced and reaching out to those people in in the best way to bring them into their world so essentially I help them see the gap in their process. Sometimes the gap is not being purposeful enough they promote the possibility of introductions. But they don't really ask ask then WANNA look aggressive needy pushy I get that and so we have processes in place to help people bridge that gap of how do we become appropriately proactive without again looking New York or pushing. And that's really what a boils down to is the ask. You can dance all around it but if there isn't an ask you you can't move forward and you don't even know what the client needs. Never mind if you have a fit you have to ask absolutely so my fourth question in comes out of that. What are the most common mistakes that you see them making when they tried to go it alone? Do this without your help. So kind of piggybacking on what we just said is they dance around it. They they promote introductions. They say we're never too busy to help other folks or I teach a phrase. Don't keep me a secret that's good. That's sometimes actually create some good activity but it's not really the ask and in the ask the biggest mistake I see people make is they come to general. The fatal mistake is do you know anybody else. We can help they throw up in the whole universe and hoping that their clients will think of someone but quite often they draw. Aw blog and so the most powerful way to ask for introductions is to come with some very specific people indoor categories of people that you we know your clients no so. That's that's one of the biggest mistakes is not really asking in the right way when they do ask. And then as I mentioned earlier not working with the referral source to get the actual introduction having a process to get introduction the collaborative process to get introduced so that you get another person's radar in the best possible way that's great so number five comes out of that. What would be one valuable free action that you could suggest to our audience that they can implement it will help them increase their business from the world that you work in sure probably the most important thing in valuable thing? I've been teaching for twenty five years. Something I call the value discussion. You could call it communication review. You could call it value review. There's a lot of different words but essentially you're checking in with prospects and with clients and you're asking open questions and you're saying you know we've talked about a lot of things in today's meeting what stands out as the one or two most important things we've this or if if it's added deliverable an insurance policy of financial plan no we've been through a process to get to this point. Can you tell me the value you've gotten from the process. Notices are open. Open any questions. We're trying to get the client to get in touch with the value in articulated and then if it's a review meeting you know we've been working together for a few years can stop and reflect act on things we've done over the last couple of years. It stands out as in some of the value that you feel. We've delivered over these years and you can come prepared with a few things to suggest. It's not a value. Are you telling it's a conversation and I'm telling you this one thing that I've been teaching so for so long. It's amazing there from from that value discussion value check in you can promote introductions you can ask for introductions a lot of good things can move from that value discussion excellent so building on that. What has one valuable free resource that you could direct people to that will further help them to solve the problem? Oh sure and I appreciate that. We have a great little tool that had five strategies. Essentially we we call the five worst kept secrets to multiplying plying your best clients and you can get that at multiply your best clients dot Com multiply your best clients dot com. We call it. The worst kept secrets is because narrowbody in the center of the five seats for this the ten secrets for this. And you'll look at them. They're not really secrets right. These aren't really secrets. But these are things that people aren't implementing as well they could so multiply your best clients dot com. That's excellent will include that in the transcript too so my last question for you is really to turn the tables and turn around and say what's one question that I should've asked you but I didn't and what would be that question. And what would be the answer while there's so many of whose who's I guess one is. Why do people not try to multiply their best claim? Answer you know. Why do they not ask? And of course it's fear for its mistaken assumption limiting belief again. Some people think they just serve the heck out of their clients. They'll get all the introductions they need and that's half true but without being proactive active. We miss a whole lot of opportunity and some people don't want to look pushy. So the key is having the right approach right with the right approach this idea of asking. For introductions introductions actually becomes very accessible to everybody so it's a matter of actually having the right approach and part of that's the right words and I like to give people words now I don't expect you to use the exact words I give them. They need them massage them and adapt them to their world their clients but sometimes when they realize oh I could do it that way. I could say it that way. Then and all of a sudden that strategy or tactic actually opens up to them so being aware of what is their fear doubt uncertainty around this and acknowledging that right and say okay. This feels awkward. I get it. How can I get past this awkwardness? And that's certainly a part of the work ideal of people tap into my world and they can learn analog even without talking about me and my goal is to bring value. Absolutely you've brought value today. Thank you very much bill. Kates for joining me here on the three x value goes podcast. Thank you for being my guest today. You Bet thank you. Thanks for checking out the three x value growth podcasts. If you like what we're doing here here head over to items and subscribe leave us a review or rate us. It's very much appreciated. And if you'd like to learn more about the three x value growth model go to W._W._w.. Three X value growth dot com forward slash modeled for the P._D._f..
439 Heroines in Mythic Fiction With Author Ayn Cates Sullivan
"Mindfulness mode, four hundred thirty nine then we have a chance of restoring this earth were strong ourselves in thriving here and Severi important practice. Welcome to mindfulness mode podcast, everybody. So great to have you with us. I'm Bruce, this is the place where you can reach new heights of calm, focus and happiness. I've been mentioning I put together a membership group. I'm not gonna talk much about it, but you can check it out. It's called the mindful tribe retreat. You can sign up at mindfulness mode dot com slash M. T R, I put together an e book just for you called the twelve must read mindfulness books and you know that my guests on the show recommend books. So we made a spreadsheet and we found out, what are the twelve most pop. Books recommended on the mindfulness mode podcast. And so I put together this little e book, and it really has great books recommended in a little write up about each book as well. So it's a mini fourteen page e book, and you can download this e book for free at mindfulness mode dot com slash top twelve books. And the twelve is simply the, the digits one two, okay? Do you like fiction fiction with heroes and heroines from another place and another time? Well, my guest today is a widely read, author of fiction, and she's all about mindfulness. I think you'll enjoy this episode if you, if you love this kind of writing at all. And he's just an interesting woman to listen to anyway, sit back relax and enjoy my. My conversation today with Ann Cates Sullivan. Eight mindful tribe. I have a wonderful treat for you today. We are going to be talking with Ann Cates Sullivan. And are you in mindfulness mode today? I am always in mindfulness mode, or at least I attempt to be. That's great. And Kate Sullivan is a writer with a masters and doctorate in literature from Columbia, University, and King's College London. She's written a series of books called legends of the grail, and I'm very thrilled to have these books right here, and what beautiful stories she's put together and these books have been written to inspire and empower the contemporary reader, who wishes to remember how to live 'harmonious -ly with the earth. So let's talk about mindfulness I and tell us what mindfulness means to you. Well, I my husband teaches mindfulness meditation, so I it was perfect question for us. We are meditation our morning, meditation around this topic. So what we do is we have fifteen to forty minutes of silence each day, and then that's followed by an inquiry practice where we basically just share, what's the rising for fifty depending on, how long we have at least fifteen minutes where I speak for fifteen minutes, he speaks for fifteen minutes, and then, and it's, it's great for relationship, the mindfulness part, I think is really important today for all of us for anyone who's interested in awakening, or just living on the planet and harmony s and balanced way, having done this practice for thirty years. I believe we mostly sit in. Silence. I know in the beginning. There's a lot of issue with monkey mind silencing the mind. And so sometimes if that's going on. I'm. Might just draw a line around, my body just to maybe an orange line or my therapy by just two. My mind has something to do as I just sit in the in the silence. And I love it. It just seems this practice just seems to clear way, the cobwebs the news the dual the dualistic nonsense, the role involved in and helps me open to another way of seeing and being that's non dual that some that three alive and delicious. I know that you believe now is a unique time in history. Can you tell us about that? Well, we all were getting ready for a shift. I believe for many of us are getting ready for the shift and twenty twelve and I was actually with some Mayan priests. And they said they came to me, and they said it's really important that you that you tell the stories of the women, the goddess isn't heroines of your. Mr. because for over five thousand years, they stories have really been forgotten, and the full feminine energy has not been allowed to be on the planet, and that long. And if you can, if all of us can remember, remember this remember what the feminine is men and women than we have a chance of, of restoring this earth restoring ourselves, thriving here. It's a very important practice. So while my husband is the teacher of Buddhist meditation mindfulness practice, which is cleansing, and transcendent and formless. I do the opposite. Or I guess we danced together in this way. So I'm then embodying so that we live. We move on the earth with the with the all the elements with mindfulness with the awareness, so that we co create what we want here, you know, with our words with our deeds with our relationships. So you stories tell. So much about the feminine and the masculine what happened to the feminine five hundred years ago. This is fight, we're starting about five thousand years ago. So when I went back to, to find these stories it was actually in a way an accident. None of these things are accidents but mystical experiences by some wells, and in Britain, and then was given an overseas research, word to go. Gather folklore in the in the west of Ireland, I was working on the stories in place of lady, Gregory, who was the patron of WB aids. And on this in my twenties. They. They. You know, I had this pretty materialistic scientific view of the world academic. Then I start having these wild mystical experiences. And I think they call that onto logical shock, you know, in you, maybe the world isn't what you thought it was. So I realized in finding these stories that one of the most ancient in the books is in the green book, it's called legends. So the grail source of Celtic goddesses. This is a an pound year old story of the old woman of the world, the Kellyanne who in folklore is turned into. That's the one it's allow story there. You know, in, in many traditions, she's turned into the witch. But if you go looking for her, you know, she might she might appear with pot stirring her, but she, she is she's the holder of all the potential on all the seeds of the world, all formal life. So anything that, that wants to flourish, plus here. She's the keeper for that. So as you enter into this animated folklore world you realize that what the goddess says life, the, the grail, the grail is the symbol of of the feminine. And so, she's the supporter of, of all things that are alive. And if you look at a lot of our religion. Traditions, the feminine and the earth were kind of cut out of that systematically over period of time, especially two thousand years ago. And if you go into all three and legend, which is more the blue the blue book, you know, you see you see what what's happening as the feminine disappearing and the wasteland is rising and the night. So the round table or trying to keep the lords and ladies, dancing together, but things are changing. There's, there's something else going on. And so in these stories I had the first part as the myth in the legend as it's known as it's as it's passed down through these old, these old books. Let them big on or the logo Bala or some of these ancient ancient number six, and then when you go to a place when you go to a place we call them the send places. And if you go, there, mindfully you, not, not just not with are not with her academic scientific awareness, but we. Going to sit. And you actually, to invite invite something else to open up for you. You're gonna use some other senses. You realize that in these thin places the Lance quite alive. And that their stories at ten to those places. And so if you allow yourself to sit at these threshold places in the United States, we are threshold. Places would be at the edge of the see or you know, the top of mental Shasta maybe or some there, any place in nature were, you can stand between the land and sky or land and see you, you begin to open up to the poetic, mystical world, and, and it's interesting. So if we do a mindfulness practice, we're going into the void generally speaking silent silent mind. And now after that period of time, it's a very good training to go into silent mind because what happens is our critical. Wind superego it starts to, to calm down. Hopefully can get really noisy. But hopefully we're gonna, you know we're gonna calmed down that critical way of in king, because that's the main structure that keeps us from really living in, in a in a spiritual spiritual life. So. As we as we call him the mind. And as we begin to open up to higher concepts, and higher Waren is's dots. That's the time that we might just be able to enter some of these places. And you know, one way to do it as this is if you can see this. That's just give you a little glimpse here. That's an ancient glitz. You'll see on a lot of Cairns. So, so what I was doing was going to these ancient. Cairns. And you they're like Stonehenge, but they have a top on them and you crawl inside and some places were meant to be healing temples, like the oldest Slepian temples the old healing temples where you would go with respect, and mindfulness, and you would you would sit in there, especially say around threshold time such as between October, November Salwen, and you would go at the time, and you would listen to the dreams of the earth. So we've been doing our mindfulness meditation. Our mind is clear and open in if you go in, and you're listening to with, like with the ears of your heart. You know, you're listening in new way, maybe you'll hear a tone, or maybe you'll have a vision or maybe something will happen or you'll feel warmth and you go, oh, this is the way the world is dreaming. Let me let me move mindfully with the world and the way that she wants to arise. And horses play an important role in your near stories. Tell us about that, and, and how you connect personally with the horses that, that you have with you on your property. Horses have always been a really important part of my life. I grew up in Virginia. And then I live for a long time in Britain, and all we always had horses everywhere we always said horses. And when I when I ride by myself, and I might go out for our alone into the mountains. I you know, you're rocking, and I think there's something, you know, you're quiet and your rocking. And I think I think in the Asian tradition, they call it, the, the green healing, you know, when you're riding through the forest and in the green leaves, the, the wind just sweeping what you don't need a way from you and see a rocking with the horse in again. If you if you enter this holistic way of thinking and being the rocking you start to see the trees, a little bit differently. You start to, to feel how you in the horse are actually in that moment. One, and you might even be able to, to see now if you really if you really go poetic if you really go barbeque, you might try to see the eyes of the horse has the horsing forest, you know. How, how am I how is the movement of the four hooves is that different than my two feet? How is it impacting earth? Is it waking up? Is it waking up the land in some way? So I've always felt that the horses keep the shining paths open know when they walk in the land, the land loves them in response to them. So, so I was so happy to find a opponent and ran on. And Anita is my namesake. Who can shape shift on your for Princeton's can shape shift into a red mayor, and she can appear that way? So you never know when you see a horse if it's is it a goddess or. Right. So in, in the Celtic tradition shape, shifting is is as normal. I mean, that's part part of the Celtic. Philosophy is that, you know, in order to, to know something you you become part of it. If you want to the druids for the people of the oaks, that's what it means people, the oaks. So you would know the oak tree. And if you knew an oak tree, and you've done your meditation practices in your clear, you know, might be that on a particular day, the winds blowing this. Right, that there that there's a doorway in that oak tree. And you can follow it like Allison Allison wonderland to, you know, or token or something into another realm and. And so in the Celtic tradition there in, in the books to, I give a lot of visualizations, and there, you can follow you can follow the silver, thread, and talk to your ancestors, or you can follow your golden path, and find out your unfolding life purpose and mission these other wonderful things. And I'd like to hear your comments about how mindfulness can lead to embodiment. So, and this has been a long-term discussion with my husband and I so so it's fun. I, I'm going to say something about him just, just to bring that in, because he's really helped me with this. My husband John, Patrick Sullivan was the football player. He played the jets and the bears, and he was he's, he's Sullivan Sullivan, one of the kings of Moonstone days ninety nine percent Irish you know. These guys. These guys are trained to read the field. Like that's what they do. I mean, you don't necessarily want them sitting in a classroom. But on a football field. They're amazing. They can read a feel they know before the balls thrown. They know where it's going, right? So it's the type of they call it in the zone, but he, he has that ability to read redefined, I'm more of an academic, you know, co at mystic. But he's he can really read a field. So. He's very, very embodied, and my I needed to work on embodiments you know, I was very in the mind, which is not mindfulness, but the, you know, so he became after football. You know he played. He was in this game for twenty years, and he's, they train you to be a killer. You know, they're knocking you out, telling your whissy telling you to get back on the news. And. And one day he his niece snapped in that was into the game. And, and he went home and his sister died. His mother died. His father died. His game was over his wife left him. And he was like. What's going to happen next, and he wound up going to India and studying Yogi, a yoga with Pataki, joist and really feeling picked up by Ramana Maharishi. So he went on a deep spiritual quest, and I think if you're Kelty have Celtic lineage, especially if you have this Irish blood line or, or Scottish or Welsh you have this natural spirituality. That's in you that can awaken when you're in those thin places those world. So he he, he came back and taught yoga. And I think really, really helped helped himself. So when he when he sits when John Patrick sits, he has a field around him that solid, it's on in, I think over his his sixty two now so his his years of developing the field of presence. Since this palpable. And so when I meditate with him, we've meditated now I think together for fifteen years I'm able to move into his field of awareness, and it has helped me with my own creative journey with my writing with all the things that I do, because I have felt this sense of solidity I can land. I can be here. And so the most of, you know. You know, most of what I learned when I did my India voyages was transcendent, and I loved it. I loved being with Ahmici and getting blissed out of my mind. And but, but at a certain point when you come home from these journeys, also when you go questing on the Celtic quest, do you come home, and there's almost a sense of depression, like, oh, I've had this, this amazing mystical experience? Now, what do I do with that? How do I how what is being you know, how, how do I get up from this cushion where I've been in this incredible clear, spiritual space, and now I'm getting up, and how do I move. Now, how do I move now without, and I found for quite a while ahead to move slowly. Like, when I got up the footsteps, I had to really move consciously to go outside, walk on the earth's be aware of what my feet felt like. On the earth. How it changed when the wind blew from the west or, or the east of the NFL to tradition if the wind blows from the west it's green win when the wind blows from the east. It's a it's purple wind. You know, so you just like to be aware of these, these. How am I now I now and through this, I think these different practices, both both mindfulness, and also elemental, we, we can show up with, with so much creativity and awareness, it's, it's like it's really like, the, the ego solve that has kept us tiny and limited and compact to starts to relax and. Ominous precious parole. No, it's I don't. I'm not one that really believes in destroying the ego. It's more that the ego starts with our practices. The ego starts to it starts to breathe, and merge, and then we're able to live more from our, our higher self are creative being. Practice. Yes, it is a wonderful practice and you have a beautiful room behind you. And I know that you live in a beautiful place. Can you tell us about that place in that room that you're in? This is. We, we actually just moved here. We, we spent twenty five years in California and. And felt felt through guidance really that it was time to come back to the east coast. We're both from the east coast, and we found this place way up a dirt road mile per vote in the mountains that looks out into lake and it's it was actually built as a as a zen Buddhist temple. So this is our home in. There's something if you can see up. But there's something about having very high ceilings, that helps the helps with this transcendent energy this high energy, and, and, and then with the lake in the stream and the, the trees and so forth. It really helps with the embodiment, so, so if you, you know, generally speaking, you know, transcendence is kind of a upward energy, and then the descending energy is the downward energy. And when you when, and this is usually considered masculine, this is usually considered feminine. So when you get the two. Combined my goodness there. You have the store radio a sparkling life. That's that's really wonderful. Oh, that it looks like a fantastic place to be in. That's that's great. How do you think our planet can be restored? Well, I think there's one really, really easy solution. We could stop cutting trees down and start planting them. That's that's, that's the easiest thing because even if I mean and scientists know this, it's, it's very well known just stop cutting the rainforest down. I mean, that was one reason we moved back to the I wanted to be in that Palach mountains. Where the where the trees are really vibrant and alive the mountains of revive when you get a lot of weather and, and clouds and storms because is so easy to work with elements here. But we could just collectively. Start protecting land and, and really really that this planet is alive. I've had a lot of time periods of time where maybe run a workshop and people go. This is baloney. No. There's, there's no. The trees aren't alive. And so many times I've said okay, well, let's do a little we're going to do a meditation just a little meditation. Get quiet. And then I want you to go out somewhere in the woods, and I want you to just find a tree or a rock or something that speaks to you and just sit with a just sit with fifteen minutes. If it's a tree, put your back up against it for fifteen minutes, and then come back and tell me what you've discovered. It's an inquiry. Right. We ask questions. They won't come back and I'll have to go looking for them, and they'll be with their arms wrapped around a tree crying. Live. It really is. Funny. You know I love these moments. And so, you know this world heels when we wake up, and we realize the old ways of domination and control, aren't working. And we have technology to help us we have. But the, the real thing that we have is our own creative imagination, because we've created ourselves into a big mouse, and if we can do that we can create our way back out, and there's so many solutions all we have to do is get out of our own way and actually start implementing this and a lot of people in this area, we're actually surrounded by thousand acres of conservation land, which was another appeal. So, you know, a lot of people are starting to understand this and they're they're buying. They're buying land in there, there. We have the hidden life of trees, which is a wonderful book. Right. So people are starting to make this shift, the Mayans when I was with the Mayans, they said, what would happen, and it's interesting. We'll see if this is true, but I liked it. They said in two thousand twelve what would happen wasn't that the end of the world was coming, but that. The return of the feminine energies would start to happen. That would integrate until twenty fifteen and then we would head towards a golden age that would start in twenty twenty five. And that there would be a lot of people up, he'll in between. And if you look now at how things are changing, if we look from a non dual perspective for minute, we've been in our meditation practice, and we're in our non dual consciousness, a non non dual means were accepting everything as it is. So we're not judging. We're just accepting then it's all it's all perfect everything that's going on right now is perfect. Oh, it's all falling apart. It's collapsing. You know all these crazy things are happening. You know, it's only, it's only when we when we come when we embody. This is why embodiments difficult, you embody. But usually when we get up off the dimension cushion and William body. We re enter Agila Listrik way of thinking and being, you know, you're over there, and I'm here, and I have this view and you have that view and, and, you know, before long you can ban an argument with someone and you're like I was just in a meditation practice, you know, an hour ago what happened. So when we're in body ING, this is it you have to you have this is the awareness practice were you, you get up and you move slowly in. Oh, yes. You still have your meditation practice with your you're still connected. My precious Pearl. Yeah. Some functioning from this higher place. And then someone calls you a name and then he the moment of how am I going to respond to this? And if you and if you have a meditation practice, you might have that ause you know, it's like, am I going to my going to respond to this person's projection by engaging it or am I going to laugh? It's interesting that you see me that way. Oh. And it's good to laugh and you laugh, so hardly. I love that. Let's talk about the role that water plays in your stories. Well, if we're talking about elements, and so we have legends of the grail and the whole the whole series started for me when I was at the chalice well in England. And so it was, it was a watery environment. Rains every day, and there's a well. And it's the first time I really had the impression of the presence of the feminine face of the divine and Glastonbury, I don't, if you know, this place Glossman very, it's interesting place. It's it's in the south western part of England and it was considered for a long time to be in. Maybe even now, but definitely say in the twelfth century, it was considered the Jerusalem of Britain, and there's a huge abbey there and there's a tower and us in a special. So some people say that it's been a it's been a pilgrimage place or journeying place for twenty five thousand years. So it's a it's got quite a strong energy when you go there, especially if you're going with an intention of find it's, it's called the goddess stronghold, you know, this is what is known for now. And so when you go. On a quest, I, you know, when, when you go on a quest, and you've done your mindfulness practice you don't have you don't have any agenda or plan, or you might have a spiritual. Aim like I'm I wanna find the feminine face the divine, but that's it. And you're, you're so on, on a heroines quest which is different than a hero. Bus to hear his question your journeying year. Adventuring your your conquering. You're learning. You're doing on heroines quest, you're receiving. So you're learning to listen to the land. You're learning to or the elements, all of learning to listen to another. You're learning to feel other presences, so not just with the five senses foot when I walk into this room. How, how is it different now? You know, how has my presence impacted the room and how does the rim impact me? What's happening here. And, and then clear audience, some people hear music if you're in. Sacred places. You might hear a music, or you might hear voice of which is different than schizophrenia. You know, pleading near you might hear a presence or a guide and in the Celtic tradition. All all the poets had had guides that would sing or speak to them. So they, they would then help a powerhouse on fold. So for instance recently with this become doing now, which I'm doing God's in here is now. But I, I was working with the story of Ellen and Maximus or Illinois Ellen is antler. Got us used considered the most ancient of, of the Celtic on the says in her partner in, in most ancient tradition is called Cronyn ass-. He's also, antler in and the reason that they have Antlers is because they're so good at listening. They hear the stars and they understand how the stars impacting the earth, and how life wants to flow. And so you'll find that their trackways that they walk that quite often go along a river, or stream and that in the sacred places more often than not there's a well, so in Australian legend. You would find that there's al- almost always a grail maiden in the spot. And if you if you really wanted spiritual nourishment, you would go to this well, or spring, and you would ask her to help you with your vision with an awareness with an understanding, so sold. These are happening more and more as grits flame as relet, as of the stories are coming back to life. People are walking sarin Helen walking the house and Wales of feels. If you do it, you feel like you're walking through Lord of the rings. Dell's I wanna I wanna ask you about the beautiful artwork in your volumes was difficult to find someone to do that, that incredible work. I I've been really lucky I years ago gushing. I think it's about seven years ago on I, I had a friend over who was helping me with some interior decorating with my daughter's Rome. And I came in and she was stabbing I, she was sobbing so loudly, I thought someone had died. I asked her what was wrong? And, and she said, I just read one of your stories, and I went to alliterate it. No. That's actually how it started. And that was we did children's books for tweet did the sparkle series in a story of becoming these restorers that I had written for my kids, and they had done little stick rowing's to go with them. I hadn't really thought that much about them until my kids left home, and they, they called me and they said, mom, my friends need these stories, will you? Please publish them and, and bell bell de Cray, Bill crow DuPree, is that are full name said, yes, let's, let's do this. So we so we did we actually I actually just finished another one, which is called Eva in the Rambo dragon, and that's a heroines quest where she goes into the underworld to find to find her power so that when I hopefully will be out next year. So that was really fun. So that, that's how it started. An and it was really easy. I she built during the pictures, sweep the stories were there. And she would was able to enter this kind of mythic imagination, and really tap into my way of seeing which, which is rare. I don't know how how you could explain anything like this to an illustrator. She just got it. And, and so there she went and they started becoming. Let's say it's this one. It's this story. Yes, yes. That's the, the it's actually the world through the eyes of, of an apple tree. She she starts at his the seed, and then she she finds out, she's a south weighing in all these things happen tour. She gets eaten. She is struck by lightning all these things happen. And so this book was our big success. It was it was the best sellers for years, I think ten or fifty thousand downloads as a book, and it one eighteen literary words on I thought, oh my goodness. You know, people like these stories, so so that, that really got us going, and then I, I put these these larger collections for, for women. I thought it was for women they've won women. A lot of words for women's fiction. Actually, we just went to near words at one on grizzly heroines Davel on this one. If the award a gold through visionary, fiction and won a silver with Nautilus for women's fiction, and then it's up for cover awards. So it's been well received this one this one, I launched and. Slogans of the grail. Let's say. For those of you who are not seeing this. Yes. Yeah. Sorry. I'm holding it up lessons of the grail stories of Celtic goddesses that one, one, I, I can't remember how many words, a good dozen awards, I think, and it has sold out of print four times, I was told that nobody was interested in Celtic stories by my publishers, I probably things that when I lived in Britain ahead of publisher. But in the United States, people said, oh, no, nobody wants these stories net. People are interested in spiritual things. And I think I've sold five thousand copies of this one so far. True. So it's definitely not true. Yeah, definitely. Not true. Wow. That's incredible that really is. And. What do you think makes one whole what makes us whole as people? So when I started my grail quest there's there in, in author and tradition. They say that there's such thing as the grail family. It's actually appears in Kabbalah and other mystical traditions to. And when you get in my mind when you go on grail quest a grail, if you look at it is the circle, I'm holding up my hands as a circle. And so the Celts would say, and this would be I rish part of the parish, barred would say that win the sunsets. If you go out by the lake and you see a swan you can climb aboard the back of the swan. Nitsa shape, Shifter and it and it will it will turn with you, and it becomes black. And as as you fly on the black swan it will take you to all the places in the world where you've lost pieces of your soul in this lifetime or any other lifetime through upset through whatever bullying where you've lost track of yourself and this black swan will fly with you and you collect all of your pieces. And then in the morning, riot is the sun begins to rise, when the crack of the world is open. You can fly back in into your body, as a whole being with all of your emotions with your thoughts with your spiritual with your body with everything that you need here with your life purpose and and your vision. And then your whole that is. So that is so beautiful. It really is. And speaking of bullying, have you ever been bullied? Do you have a story, you can share with us where mindfulness would have made a difference? I have seen good. Good bill. Bullying stories at first of all this book, I'm holding it up again. It's called sparkle in the light. And so it's a story about a mystic a little girl who's a mystic hits bullied and how she deals with it. In case anyone wants to read a story. I, I wrote that story actually from my, my daughter because she's a seer in the kids at school were teasing her. And, and she came back and she's like, you know, I don't know really know what to do about this, and I got a lot of I have a play with colors. I love colors, and so I have these different color bottles. And I got them out, and I said, you know what your favorite color? And she said, oh, you know, blue and, you know, this person that was picking on your what do you think their favorite color was? Oh, it's red. And what about the other one? Oh, that's that she's yellow. And I said, we'll, you know probably what was going on as people, I've got, I'm going to hold this up for people who speaking, build at a great illustration of these girls and one snatching her hat, and one steals her notebook and takes her headband off, and you know, so she feels completely violated. Did by this misunderstanding in. And if you look at it these girls are trying to understand why Ella is the name of the girl while L is different why she sees differently and so their bullying. But I think at the same time they're also trying to understand. And then Ella has to has to realize that the woman who's picking on her. Amy is doing it because her father has died, and she's just beside herself. She's sitting in so much sorrow, she she does, she's broken and so L A realizes this and is able to help a Mahil. And so in with my children to I've tried to help them. I mean, obviously if, if someone's trying to molest you or they're you nev- you never let anybody harm you. That's we always practice. No harm. So you, it's okay to stop things. You know, not don't don't abuse or be abused. But to realize that quite often someone just has a completely different perspective. They have a different world view, and they don't. Yeah. Understand the way in which you, you see your thank. And so of, of explained to them than it's your job takes to explain the way in which you see the world. How do you see it? And my daughter now is twenty seven. He's becoming an acupuncturist in Cheetos Chinese medicine. She's a herb list, also. And so her, her -bility, she's always had this ability to know where to touch someone that makes them feel better. And now she's able to put it to use where, you know, when she was a kid, and she would come and poke you wouldn't necessarily understand, right? Wonderful that she's doing that work. Now. That's great. Yes. Yes. So, so it's it's trick. He I think if we have a meditation practice. I'll, I'll share one with John Patrick story. We went to a gas station and we, we had just finished on station practice, and we went to this gas station, and he was filling up the car and disguise comes over and starts yelling at them. I mean really yelling and I'm thinking Earl no, he doesn't realize that John Patrick holds the most college in most tackles in college football. I mean juncture could take the guy out right there scores. Let's not go there and jump. Patrick HANA looked at this guy for a minute, and he looked at him again. And he started laughing, he just started laughing. And the guy was like, taking that smile off your, you know, that he just said, you know, I hope you have a really great day, any walked in, and then paid for the gals and came back out and got in the car, and was, like, okay, now, I know that my, my mindfulness practice is working in your guy would have been unconscious. That's a true example of mindfulness working. Yes. Yes. So we have that one moment, like when my going to choose here, you know. That is a funny story. And as we move forward, I want to ask you five, quick, answer questions. And the first one is this who is one person who has influenced mindfulness in your life. I worked with a mindfulness meditation teacher named Carol who teaches in San Francisco. But the person that I've really learned mindfulness practice from has been AH, almost are you familiar with him. He's the head of the Ridwan school the diamond approach. Right. Right. I've been part of that school now for a my God. A time a good decade or so. And I love his books his luminous night's journey, which is about his awakening experience. And they're good to read, if you're in a process of awakening, and you wonder if you're going crazy, or if you're actually waking up three aiding books like luminous jet night's journey really helps you to understand the difference. It's like, oh I got a you know, I'm, I'm. Starting to, to see with new eyes. And so that's a great book has pro beyond price is great, right? Space cruiser. Inquiry is another good one that he's written. Those are my favorites, the ones I turn back to. Yeah. Wonderful. How is mindfulness affected your emotions? And I think we're talking about water and are watery side is, you know, there it's connected to our emotions. And I think it's really important to try to stay balanced. So there's a difference, I believe between being sort of neurotic, you know, and just acting out, emotionally and really learning to feel to really understand what our in our intuition is telling us, which is our, our emotions are feeling site is connected, Tura intuition, into our bodies, our when our body feels something, it's telling us the truth. And so then we can if we can learn to read those. Emotions and feelings. And then we can really operate well, and so I do my do my best to understand whatever emotion, I might be feeling even if it's anger, if I'm feeling anger, then in some way, I need strength a new to, to, you know, but I'm going to try not to act out on someone but I'll have to check in to see how I'm might need more strength to deal with the situation or if I'm feeling fear in. Maybe I'm going into a cairn you know, one of these old sites, and I feel fear for a minute. And that's usually a sign that Anita Bancorp and find out if I have permission to enter here or if I need to walk a different way. I mean, you know, we can avoid a lot of things by not being on a path, where things occur in. Yes. Yes. Yes. So our emotions are important. But I think what it really is about learning to feel the really syncing our body, if I bodies Tensing, or tingling or, you know, if we can really feel than we know how. Navigate. Right. Tell us about breathing. How breathing is part of your wonderfulness. Well briefing is life. And so, yeah, this oh, it is really important if you working with fire, for instance, fire breath, this is great a great practice to have your duty fire-breathing. When you do the deep rapid, breathing charges, your body up. So you can face the sun and do this rapid breathing and charge your buddy at with. Pronin lifeforce. So, yes, our breath, is our life. So we, we want to keep reading, and and consciously to when our bresca shallow you know, we need to notice. It's like why, why am I why am I not fully here? If I can breathe deeply all k- k, I'm fully present hit. This is good. So I will put in luminous night's journey as your book that you recommend. But do you recommend any apps at all to help with mindfulness? I know there's a really good ones on I, I tend to go more towards audible personally. I love I love audible books and I don't think h almost has anything on audible, but I just finished reading listening to. That's about in book of the dead, which was great an I also love probably the one I would really recommend as the wonderful Irish writer recently crossed. His name is John Donahue, and he wrote a book called 'em Kara very famous book, and there are the ones beauty blessings, there, and I quite often at night as I if I if I'm in my mind starts getting busy, I just put him on. And he has his thi this ability, I think, to put me on the swan. So I can fly between the world's go into the dream world with ease and grace and come back with what I need. So I I'm loving audible right now and do you record your own books on audible? I need to I actually have a woman who's coming this summer and we're going to start doing that. I know that people love oral storytelling, and that we don't we often don't have time to sit down and read a book. They the. The ones I have here fairly short. So you can read them quickly, but I think people really love to hear stories that my children, I knew annot love to hear them. They tell me again. Tell me again, what happened then, and, and when we remember, they stories if some people learn differently, and some people really have to have, you know, the story told to them in order to really get the layers of meaning and so anyway, the old bar. It's had to learn a true, Bard in the old Celtic days. They had to know two hundred fifty stories. Right, right. And you've got a beautiful voice in a beautiful way of speaking. And of course your laugh is incredible. Of that. And where can we learn more about you, obviously, we can download your books legend of the grail heroines of Avalon? But is there a website we can go to yes? AST can go onto my website. My first name is spelled A, Y N, some pretty if you type a Y N, I usually come up, but Ann Cates ullivan or an and you can look. They're all kinds of there's an audible section if you want to hear stories are all kinds of things you can hear if I have twelve books. I think now so there you can find them there. They're all available through Amazon and Barnes and noble. And, and you can you can find them, but there are a lot of now thing to, to you and many people doing podcasts. There are a lot of audible podcasts on there now so and also videos if people are more visual, you can go and listen to stories and tales of the Celtic ones. Yes. Right. Yeah. So get over there to the website and Cates Sullivan dot com and it's a. Y. N C, A, T S, Sullivan dot com. So, thank you so much for being on the show today. And it's been wonderful having you year. Thank you. Thank you. And I've enjoyed the, the mindfulness piece. This is a this is a new addition, the mindfulness and the embodiment. That's, that's right. Thanks again. And by now, thanks so much for joining us today on mindfulness mode for show notes for every episode gieco mindfulness mode dot com and type the guest's name or the episode number into the search bar. You can also go mindfulness mode dot com slash whatever. Episode number. You like if you've been joy, this podcast, you could help us out by subscribing to mindfulness mode, wherever you listen, whether it's on I tunes or Stitcher, Google play Spotify, so many places you can hear mindfulness mode. So hit subscribe, and share because that truly helps our show and remember what I mentioned at the top of the show about the twelve must read mindfulness books, any one of these books can definitely change your life. Just like they have for the featured guests. I've had on my show. Oh, all of these books have been recommended there that twelve most recommended books on mindfulness mode. Download this free gift at mindfulness mode dot com slash top twelve books. So remember subscribing and sharing helps keep mindfulness mode on the air till next time. Mindful tribe us what we've learned today to reach new heights of calm, focus, and happiness. Stay in the mode.
Bill Cates Referral Coach - Get More Clients
"Are you ready to become awesome? Hello, everyone. This is mar meet your host and welcome to the no limit selling podcast, where industry leaders shared their tips, strategies and advice on how to make you better stronger faster. Get ready for another episode. Today. I have the distinct pleasure of sitting down with Bill Kate's, old friend, and the president of referral coach international and something new Cates academy. Welcome to the program Bill. Thank you, appreciate it. So we met a gazillion years ago when a mutual friend, Dr Wolff rinky said, Bill, would you please meet with Omar and you were generous enough to take me out lunch and sit down and give me some guidance way back when thank you so much for doing that. You're welcome. How was lunch? Remember compensation lunch. I don't. So what's amazing is asking for referrals can be technically the easiest thing in the world, right? But most people don't do it, and people that do it, most of them, do it badly through NF. You're gifted, and the few that are gifted can build a sales career that is significant. So, so why do you think it so difficult for people to ask for referrals? Yes. So it's easier to it's easy to do. It's easier not to do. Yes. Yes. Well, there's all kinds of head trash that goes on. A few things some people are frayed of, of putting the client on the spot. They have a relationship. They don't wanna make that person feel uncomfortable. They don't wanna look needy any other spectrum on successful needy like what business down that you that's why you're asking, and it really comes down to a couple of things and I call camping referral mindset. So first of all understanding the lifetime value of, of a client or a customers, not just the business you can do with them over that lifetime. It's also who they can introduce you to over lifetimes. Could be way more significant could be way more. Yeah. Any, any alliance advocates are of influence can be worth a whole lot more than anyone client, depending on the nature of your business. And a lot of people just see it as risky, which is a limiting belief and we'll, we'll go through some of the methodology today, and where they can see it doesn't have to be risky. It can be just a normal conversation with people and it comes from a place of. Of believing in your value. First of all, you know, I ask folks, do you believe your values were sharing? And they go. I think it is. Well, are you getting unsolicited referrals? Well, yeah. I get a few. Okay. Well, obviously some people think it's where sharing right? And that's what it's about. It's, it's about paying it forward helped me help others. And so let's backtrack a little bit. I would suspect if we asked people do you know your value, they'd be a. A certain percentage that would say, no but vast majority would say, yes. Right. And at the same time, they either wouldn't believe the value that they're professing sometimes, and then at other times they see themselves a lower value compared to their peers or their bosses. You know, Jane is a rockstar, if she just let herself XYZ. So what do you think there is that disconnect from reality? Like what did we see yourselves differently? It's hard to know. I mean, there's all kinds of things going on. You know, it's like some of the messages, we growing up about sales, right? You know. When you're young, the phone rings and your mother father picks it up and the conversation lasts about, you know, five seconds, and who is that the just to salesperson, you know, so we all all kinds of messages around that, you know, a lot of people believe that asking for help is a sign of weakness when it's the exact opposite. Any psychologist will tell you that it's a sign of high ego strength. And like I said before this is we're asking for help to help others, so I don't dwell too much on the cause right? Of the barrier. Sometimes that can be very helpful. Of course, getting perspective on that. I just I try to focus on. How can we remove it? What can we do to make it easy? And, and so sometimes I found that sometimes showing people how to do it, sometimes giving them the words that they can say helps a lot on helps a whole lot. It opens up the possibility they go. I didn't realize I could say that way, for instance. Absolutely. I think that's part of the. I was listening to somebody that was a groupie of one of these superstar basketball players. The read some kind of camp, the guy said could I watch you work out because camp starts run about six in the morning. And so we figure you glut get there, and we'll be all set ready to go. He got there at four o'clock is there was supposed to start working out at four thirty, but he got there Ford a beat. The superstar says he was already in their super doing stuff, and he says, all he was doing was just the basic stuff. This is why doing basic stuff or stance is that's why I'm superstar is 'cause that and that's what you people is. Hey, here is the, the system. That's proven predictable. If you do this, you will grow your business through, it's not rocket science. It's just there was a little book put out a long time ago, mostly in the insurance industry by gentlemen, by name of Albert grey, and he says the successful people are people who will just do what the. Less successful, people aren't willing to do. And he says, have you made the unconscious decision to focus on pleasurable methods rather than pleasurable results? And so when you're focused on the activity and whether it feels comfortable versus focused on the result, you're trying to achieve. That's a big shift in perspective. And quite offense Alie you will do what maybe feels uncomfortable now but in a little bit of doing and it won't feel uncomfortable. Sony ask you, do you remember where you were when you got to that section in the book? Of, of our gray. Yeah. We'll the book is so small, it's like about. It's pamphlet. Almost brilliant condense down. Was just it was. Yeah. It was. It's called the common denominator of success. And do you still have it by chance? I don't know a good question. I'll look for online. You can probably find it, and you may find someone if you just look, Google that, and you'll probably find a PDF of it somewhere because it was written, like in the, you know, in the twenties. I'm sure the copyrights have expired and all that stuff. So, so Bill, one, you walk us through your program. What are the things that people need to consider what's the process of getting referrals? Sure. So we've kind of covered the first part whenever I do a workshop or a seminar. I we start with the mindset because before we get to the strategies and tactics. If you don't have the right way of thinking, it won't even absolutely will matter. So. Think of it really almost as a wheel, if you will because it actually creates a perpetual flow, the first and we can go deep in each one. The first one is engagement Klein engagement, that's about being referral. Yes and generating referrals without asking and and becoming more referral. The second one is leverage. So that's promoting introductions referrals asking for introductions and then connection and getting connected getting introduced. And so, when you create engagement, and become more referral and then you leverage that for some introductions and then. So the first part of the wheel is is engagement, and that's all about being more referral becoming super referral. So you get referrals without even asking then the second is leverage. It's promoting introductions asking for introductions in a way, that's not pushy appropriate. And then. I mean, we gotta get introduced these days referrals, you know, the referred lead call George use my name. They're pretty worthless because George doesn't pick up his phone. He's wondering why Frank gave his name out? We gotta get introduced we gotta get connected. So what happens is you create engagement. You leverage it, you get connected with a new prospect, you create engagement, and then the circle just keeps going and elaborate connection engagement and it's perpetual. So let's get back to engagement. So walk me through an example of one of your students with started doing this, and how they got engagement. Sure. So there's three parts to, to the client journey, or the Muslim majority. That's what I call the client and the prospect experience. They're not yet a client or customer. Right. But there's that courtship of learning it a match at cetera. Then there's the, the on boarding, the new client or new customer experience. How you board them into your world and. Them kind of a while experience. And then there's the ongoing experience that you provide over a long period of time. So I learned from actually, one of my clients a longtime ago guy named Mitch about the different things that he did to create the sense of engagement early on in, in the, the new prospect experience, and there's a couple of things he did that have just stuck with me, and become part of my system, so much that I've teaches I've learned by teaching this others. Right. And first of all, he talks about expectations in the relationship even before the relationship is confirmed. Right. He said, you know, let's imagine that we've been working together on this project or whatever relates to the product for a year how, you know, we've been successful what your measure of our success working together. Or if you could build a perfect financial advisor would be those the attributes of that person. So it's talking about expectations. And what that does it creates? A lot of trust trust building conversation, and that's what we're trying to do quickly in the new relationship another thing he used to do. And, you know, people been talking a lot about this lately, but I learned this for Mitch over twenty years ago is his client focused y why he believes in his value and sharing that with prospects, even before he finds that just by talking about who he is. And what drives him and what motivates him to bring value helps him acquire more clients, because he becomes more real to them. Right. And that creates engagement and one study that was done out of Canada. This woman named joy little shot as she discovered that there's a low correlation between client satisfaction in the giving of referrals in this study satisfied clients very loyal, but only about twenty percent gave Earls, but ninety. Eight percent of engaged clients. Provided referrals in the preceding twelve year twelve months. So what's an engaged client or engaged customer, or engaged prospect is some someone who connects with your value, meaning they liked the things you teach the questions you ask? They like responsive service all the value oriented aspects of what you do. But they've also connected with you as a person and the relationships always has been always is. And that's where that y comes into play where they get a sense of, who you are as in which will. And so what we're trying to do all along. These stages is not just secure the sale or the new client, which is good. If it's a good match, but we're also trying to become more referral in the process and create the sense of engagement sooner in a new relationship. So we don't have to wait a long time to make it happen, so brilliant. So what's the next step? Got engagement. Yeah. We've got engagement and the next step would be leverage. And there's two parts to leverage. One is promoting. Referrals introductions and let me make a distinction real quick. You're hearing the used the word before and introductions kind of interchangeably most the distinction. Yeah. So referral is, as I mentioned before. It's kind of a referral call George use my name, right? George doesn't answer phone doesn't work as well as it used to. So what we need today is to get introduced connected. It could be in person it could be with an Email like hold electron handshake. If you do any kind of Kline appreciation events or educational events could be there, so there's a lot of ways to make the introduction. But if we don't make that happen then on our it's gonna fall to the cracks. Right. And so. For anybody listening when you're with a client, when you're with a prospect, when you're with an advocate a center of influence anyone who has ability to send people your way use the word, introductions, make sure that that's the word used because that's what you want brilliant. And that makes perfect sense because it also takes the here's what I understand. When someone says use my name, when you call Betty, Betty doesn't me person's name bat to mention might be out of context like Bill who for a moment. Right. And this just a whole bunch of barriers win this introduction. It kind of lays out the, the relationships and the reason why, hey, Bill. You're doing this Mars doing this. I thought it'd be a good conversation to have so that expectations that you talked about earlier in the engagement phase kind of comes to play again, because you're setting the expectations for where this relationship mica, right? And I'll tell you one of the best ways to promote introductions is is to manage the expectations around that. So one of the things we've found is one reason why a lot of folks don't give referrals is they could be. They're concerned about confidentiality, depending on the nature of the work. Yes. And they're definitely concerned about what is it going to look, like, how are you going to reach out the, my friend? It's an unknown. And so therefore it could be perceived as a risk. And so one of the ways to promote introductions without really asking is to manage that expectation. So I can give it to you. Now give you the verbiage. Oh, please. Yes. Have to be very granular. Here's like this Emaar. You know, something, I wanna run by real quick, many of our clients, like, introduced work. We do to others. And I just thought it that opportunity ever presented itself to you would be good for you to have a sense of how it handle it. What would look like you'd feel comfortable? First of all the work we do is completely confidential. They're not gonna learn about your situation for me and vice versa setting expectations. Love it. Exactly confidentiality and the other is and, you know, we handle this sort of thing with great care. Meaning I'm not just going to call someone from out of the balloon, surprise them, and make them wonder what market my name out that this guy. Nobody likes to get that kinda Coney more. I like to work through introduction. So if you dentist by one, two three whatever number of people that you think should be aware of what I do. We'll discuss it. We'll talk about what's the best way. If you inntroduced me to them, so you feel comfortable they feel comfortable. And maybe we at least pique their interest in hearing for Mabel, make sure everybody's comfortable along the way. How's that sound you say that sounds fine? So I haven't really asked for introductions, right? But it's a, it's a great way to promote it, it's to get into the conversation. Sometimes that turns into introductions referrals on the spot. Sometimes you say great. Thank you. Appreciate it. And just a byproduct of then the way you laid it out, it shows that you care about me, exactly. And it strengthens our relationship, whether an introduction happens or not. But the carrying does come through. Yeah, you know, we're going to handle this with care. We're gonna make sure that you feel comfortable that they feel comfortable. So we manage that expectation of what would it look like if I thought someone. And so next time you think of someone you realize it safe thing to do. So if people did this in marriages, half the marriages would still be married. Well, yeah, that's a that's. That's another another issue. But you're right. I mean creating expectations discussing so one of the killers of relationships just to go down that path for second. This is true in business. Personal is an unexpressed expectation that goes on met. Right. Someone has an expectation of how we're going to be at this party, we go to or what, what the business relations going to look like and never gets expressed and it goes on met, and then people are disappointed. Definitely. As we. People bring you into train them. And they've been doing it for a long time. Twenty five years, I've been doing this. So let me tell you what you told me all those years ago when we met, and this is when you became my hero, it was like correct me if I'm wrong, it went something like this whom are had a sales training business. That was, you know, doing okay. And then what I decided to do was to double niche, what I was going to do is just teach referrals, not to the universe, but to people in the financial services industry, and that gave me the ability to have key targets and one of my targets was the million dollar roundtable. And I got to speak at that event year one so just knowing who you're going after and being relevant to them is critical. Oh, yeah. Without question. I mean, the you're alluding actually, to the book that I'm writing now the we'll have a chance to talk about later but it's, it's all about getting his narrow and focused and target as you possibly can. And in today's world to stand out. The look a little different in the grab someone's attention. How you talk about what you do has to be more relevant to them has impelling to them. And the problem that most business owners make and, and a lot of sales people make is in their effort to make the tenth a little bigger and encompassed, more people. They touch no one their messaging gets weaker. Exactly. Right. And so being very targeted is very important. And so that the way I talk about as imagine an archery target, right? And that's the industry you're going after. Or maybe it could be a big business with multiple opportunities. Whatever that looks like. And then the bullseye is you're right fit client. Or right fit customer, the person, you were meant to serve, and it was meant meant to be served by you, and the more you can define that and get clear on that. The more you can bring that into your world, brilliant. And the reason I did that kind of foundational piece is that you've been teaching referrals for a very long. Time seen you present one of the best speakers out there, so you get a lot of clients. Tell me about an engagement with the client don't say the name. Okay. But we laid out the groundwork and their execution of it fell short. Like, what are the things people need to look for to, you know, really leverage? What you're teaching them. So a couple we can do it onto levels. We can do it in a level of, of business where I've gone into a business that has a Salesforce, yes force. And usually where that will fall short is in the follow up in other words, the managers don't follow up afterwards. It's the flavor of the month. It's something that they throw a little time and money at, you know, for my perspective training in the system. I provide referrals introductions is not something you did. It's something you do. Right. Just like any other training. Look, the military look. And, and, and athletes, all of that. Right. So it is ongoing, but the problem is a lot of managers weren't particularly good at referrals themselves. And so little Kover contract. It's create it's like I wasn't particularly good at this. So I can't really hold you accountable or coach, you want something I wasn't good at. And if I can correct you there. Sure it is not that I wasn't good at eight doesn't work that time Semites. Forced to do something that doesn't work didn't work for me. Exactly. And so they teach what they know. And whether you know, so I, I do remember a client who hired me who in his company when he was in sales. He he was co calling. That's all he was doing aided. And, and then he became a manager. So he started teaching what he knew which was co calling, but he hated it and everybody he taught hated it. And he finally this light bulb went off. And it's like why am I teaching something that everybody hates doing? And that's when he made a decision to create a referral culture within his business, which is what I helped him do so that now they're doing things. They liked to do and it's all relationship based, and it's not just all these bad leads goal calls, and all this sort of stuff. So I put some things in place. I put some, some video training and reinforcement tools in place, the kind of compensate for. If a client isn't going to reinforce it as well as they could at least I put some things in place, brilliant. They'll keep that message going, so that's on the level of business. The level of an individual. When I have clients that I coach, for instance, it's, it's the biggest place where falls down is, they're just not willing to get uncomfortable enough. And it could be a practice. It, it could be the try with clients who love them, which is it's going to be easy, and they could bumble through it and the client loves them, and it doesn't matter. But it's just it's just the unwillingness to do what it takes to practice and to do the actions. And so now when I take on folks, I say, look, you know, I'm not going to be bad ass. But I am going to ask you to do some things that may feel a little uncomfortable, initially. Are you okay with that? I want to get that upfront agreement that doesn't always help, but most of the time. You talking about, like practicing I'm not a jazz guy, but there was this jazz. Great being interviewed somebody whose like eighty six years old, the young fellow that was interviewing him was saying, basically, now, you know, you, you probably don't even have to like practice. Actually, my favorite four hours of the day. So even when you're masterful to stay there, and the joy of it comes from that just practicing and rehearsing, I guess, is the mindset that you bring to that activity, it all starts with that all sorts with your beliefs and your assumptions. And and I mean I used to be a professional musician. What I liked about practice is that I would see myself get better. Incrementally small increments. But that's what I enjoyed about it. And then I, then I would, you know, take that and bring it to a performance and, you know, it's kind of joyful Bill. If people wanna get hold of you, what's the best way to do that couple things for. So we have a free guy that, that your folks can go get, and I'm gonna put a link to that in the show notes, so they can click on it right away. But tell us what it is. That's a multiply your best clients dot com. Multiply your best clients dot com, and he doesn't want to do that. Yeah. And so it's about not just multiple. Flying all your clients multiplying, your best client. Yes. And then we have a great page on our website. It's referral coach dot com for its last resources all lower case before coach dot com for less resources, and lot of free stuff. Lot of you know, just a whole explanation of what we do, and people can tap into a lot of either is recordings and things there, keep in mind. This is a g rated program. What's got you inspired. What's got you turn on? What are you studying right now? That really. I'm playing a lot more golf, this year is good because I vowed to do that. In fact, I'm taking almost every Friday off this summer and in the fall, and, you know, my best year financially ever couple years ago, I did three day weekends almost the entire year. I five Hank. You. So that's, that's one thing that I'm that definitely turns me on now sometimes my weekend shifts. So I'm writing a new book, which also turns me on. And, and so this past Sunday was a book riding day. So I should it my weekend and had Friday off. I I ride psycho bicycles in the morning and then I play golf, but so the book that I'm writing it's called radical relevance and all about how we talk about our value in a way. It's going to be a cut through the noise and win more ideal clients. And so I'm very enthusiastic about that. And probably if I could. Make it happen. And I could earn the level of income earning. Now just to writing, I would probably do that, because I love taking ideas and putting them through my synthesize and, and. In a way that may be helpful for people. It's really up to. It's a fun creative process that that does good for me. And for others Bill, thanks so much down with me, and I'm looking forward to our next podcast will do when the new books coming out. Sounds good. Appreciate it. If you enjoyed this episode, please go to choose Neva five star rating. And if you're looking for more tools, go to my website at no limit selling dot com. Got a free mind, training course, their destiny teach you some insights on the world neuro linguistic programming. And that is the fastest way to get better results.
800: Radical Sales Differentiation and Value, with Bill Cates
"New, alarm bells ringing tonight on the corona virus outbreak. In this country doctor, say the viruses read through droplets when someone coughs or season I think the business community, it's in their interest that people actually stay home and stop the spread for a business that can allow more employees to telecommute. We want you to do that. By friends, I'm Andy Paul host of the sales enablement podcast and to occurred you to listen to my brand new special six part podcast miniseries titled, selling with purpose. The team behind sales enablement podcast and I put together this incredible series of inspiring conversations exploring what it means to sell with a mission greater than just hitting your numbers in this era of covid nineteen and beyond. So tune into here from world class enterprise sales leaders. Learn how they're companies will close fifty billion dollars selling remotely. How they've supported essential workers with the products and services, they need to stay safe and thrive during time of crisis. Subscribe to selling with purpose now on apple podcasts, spotify stitcher or ever you listen to pockets. Guided selling from ring DNA, mixer, entire sales team, more effective by revealing exactly what rep should do and when to do it guided selling works by transforming sales data into a curated list of prioritized sales actions. So in reps start their day, they'll never again wonder which prospects and accounts are hot inbound leads to reach out to next. Guided selling even shifts priority in response to real time buying signals. Finally, even knew reps can sell accede. Once let ring DNA be your guide to success. Learn more at Ring Ringa. Dot Com slash guided selling. That's ringed a dot com slash guided selling. Here's my favorite example billboards on the side of the road. The Electronic Lounge program with a lot of the data from the driving apps ways, Google maps, and the advertisers chains, the ED's based on the demographic driving by the signed. Given Time Day. Some of these signs have pollen counters in them on sensors I should say. And when the pollen level hits a certain level triggers ads for. Allegra Pharmacy Target, you know CVs, whatever. So we live in a radically relevant world. Friends welcome to the sales enablement podcast. I'm your host and Paul. Now. That was built cates bills author of the book titled Radical Relevance Sharpen Your Marketing message cut through the noise win more ideal clients. Bill Nye GonNa, talk about what it means to be radically relevant in order to cut through the noise and crap buyers attention. I always enjoy talking with bill. He's he's a straight talker. I. Really enjoy his emphasis on how sellers need to get out of their own heads about what differentiation is. What value is because if you're buyer doesn't think you're differentiated or your buyer doesn't believe you're. Too Valuable. Then it's not. So stick around also dive into a handful bills, seventeen roles for relevance, and how to use these rules become critically compelling, get buyers moving and keep them moving. As it just mentioned. We'll dig into differentiation now too many sellers have the wrong idea about what differences actually matter to their buyers, and we'll talk about value same light. What is the value that buyers need from you? They'll make make a difference in their decision. So all that and much much more. But before we get to bill I, WanNa, remind you to subscribe to this podcast wherever you listen to it, and if he was up scribe certainly appreciate it. If you could also give us your feedback about Howard doing in the form of a review. So thanks unless they've him connected with Millington please do that's linked in dot com slash in slash real anti-poll. All right. Let's jump into it. Bill Gates, welcome back to the show and he Paul. Great to be here. Thank you. Yeah, pleasure. Talk to you. Again, it's been a while. Yeah, but I, keep doing new stuff. So we'd better talk every now and then right true put out new books and so on. So where have where have you been sheltering in place Annapolis Maryland Not Indianapolis, but Annapolis Maryland. On Yeah. Apple. Marilyn? Once the capital of this nation for a little while. On the Chesapeake Bay Beautiful Place Naval Academy as a gorgeous place Mad. I, went on a recruiting visit to the Naval Academy before senior vice going gorgeous place. Yeah and actually I have good friend who used to live there his wife off, we talked about before his wife had started a. Caroline's cake said you ever heard of Caroline's cakes or to Caroline's cakes? Yes. Oh, she started that must is her name. Caroline I hope she is unfortunately has passed away but but yeah, the starts become quite a sizable. Small family owned business making these incredible cakes. that each one I think about ten pounds. Off but manner the good. Then the famous for their southern seven layer caramel kick. Oh, man that that would be my dream cake you. Now now you're making me hungry for you gotta go online. Carolina's cakes, DOT com. I WILL FM if my Buddy Jack has listening to this giving plug and. Yeah, we just had one. We'd serve tried to pass a couple of weeks during the shutdown with one of those aches. Part of reason, we've. Both put on waivers. Yeah anxiety eating at the time, but They call it the cove in nineteen, just like the Freshman fifteen. Yeah. Yeah. I I. I got a few of those I'm trying to. Wean myself off that so Anyway. All right. Well, good and apple scrape place. So we're here to talk with your New Book Rascal. Relevance. Sharpen your marketing message cut through the noise win more deals. So first question is is it's no longer enough just to be relevant. Yuppie, radically relevant. Well I. I think we live in a in a radically relevant world. If we give a couple examples, a google, the ultimate relevance machine, you have a seven word search type into words, and it's already knows where you're headed. Built the algorithms are built for relevance. Amazon Youtube all of that stuff and then Here's my favorite example is billboards on the side of the road The electronic ones are program with a lot of the data from the driving apps ways, Google maps, and the advertisers chains, the ads based on the demographic driving by the sign at any given time a day as someone. Yet. Some of the signs have pollen counters, 'em, pollen sensors, I should say. And when the pollen level hits a certain certain level triggers ads for. Yeah exactly Allegra Pharmacy Target. You know CVs whatever and so yeah, I mean. So so we live in a radically relevant world. We also know that it's so easy to really. Learn about your prospects at least something about them that it's just. Plain. Silly and foolish to not bring some knowing this to the table in terms of your sales and marketing and people expect that right i. mean how many emails and phone calls and other things we get from people that. have no clue who we are there just spraying and praying and and and so we don't pay attention. The brain doesn't pay attention to bring those always time on that nonsense. And so we've got to start focusing, focusing focusing, and so the more we learn the narrower in, we'll talk about it. The are we getting our focus in terms of our market in terms of our bulls eye and target The more our message is going to resonate with that prospect, and they will then give us the time of day. So we can spend some more time with them. Find. It interesting is just having this conversation. So right before this interview is is. Why given that does that we have enough data to know that. Being more niche to more specific, more educated about our our focus you know target customers. that. The vast majority of people are still as you said, just. Spraying and praying as like. Why? Why right just seems contrary to human nature to. The. Keep doing that unless I guess it works to some degree well, I mean it's a pure numbers play and it's not very efficient from. A dollar. Standpoint. Depending on what you're paying for it, of course, I mean, one thing you need to look at any businesses look at his cost per opportunity, right? What does it cost you to get in front of someone I don't care whether it's pure Internet based or or not? They're still a cost to getting in front of people, and so any business should know what that is. I think part of it. Some cases. That's ignorance just not knowing that haven't really. Been Taught, trained, know how to do it. They don't think about it. Some people are Lazy I think sales people when you get down to the tactical level. Sometimes, they just don't take the time. or maybe it's it could be a leadership management failure in the sense that they give people these scripts to use whatever. Yeah. I mean you know the last interview, it was all about my my processes around referrals in directions. And I've seen people who will get a referral that get introduced to the new prospect. And then they go into their cans approach. They don't use the information. You know from from this, this person who knows. Then there's cold research which you get on the Internet in the warm research that you get from the person who knows them Brad we should be using both. Yeah. What you said, then the book upfront the to Challenges for sellers new marketing message overwhelm, and then inertia freight and the connected. Yes. Definitely are Amino marketing message overwhelm will will create inertia. people you know hiding your head on the sand, whatever it is related to what you do people avoided. Put it off that you have to. You know sometimes the inertia caused by the incumbent Ray. There was someone else that they're working. They met even be thoroughly happy with that person, but the devil knows better than the devil, they don't know I think some. Prospects are lazy and so how do we get him out of that? Well, you know, I, use a physics, metaphor Isaac Newton, the First Law of motion about emotional stand motion body rests remain arrests unless acted upon by an outside force. That's a nurse. They're going to eat right and we. So we gotta become that outside force and you know not. Real forced, but we've we've got a slam upside. The metaph metaphorically slapped upside the head to get their attention and what's the best way to do that? Well, it's an introduction from someone they trust. Right. So that's how this ties all the work I've done with referrals is that if you get introduced by someone that person already knows likes entrusts than you're on their radar, they're probably going to give you the time of day and maybe set up a call You know anything short of that. It's tougher. Sometimes, you can be, you know have some element of differentiation that really makes you stand out and will attract their attention. Sometimes, you can be say something a little controversial, which will. Act as outside force grab. Someone's attention there. Better be something behind it. It better. Not Be a bait and switch You know. So for instance, there's a book out that says, stop asking for referrals. And in the book. Go Ya and the book. The gentleman says, well, I didn't really mean that I you. You should be asking for introductions. Now I believe in that, we should be using the word introductions more these days. But to me, that's a little bayton switch trickery. And so we have to be a little careful about that. That cleverness in that you know counterintuitive approach, but nonetheless, it can work. I mean I'll say for instance, say sometimes, referrals are worthless. And then I'll say I know you're wondering why is the referral code saying referrals are worthless while they're worthless unless we get introduced unless we get connected. So then we you know we build on that as opposed to don't do this. Oh. Yeah. Okay. It's okay to do it. That's Kinda disingenuous. Yeah. Raise. You just raise the point. So tell people. What you see as the difference between referral ended introduction. Yes. So introduction is is kind of. I, I have three. All right. So word of mouth introduction, word of mouth is people talking about you and there's there's nothing wrong with that. It's good. It's important. We should all beginning some word of mouth Now, some businesses can thrive from that right restaurants when there's a pandemic but restaurant rubies, books, certain things you know thrive on the word of mouth, they need it, but there's a lot of other businesses like an accountant or financial adviser. A few other kinds of businesses that word of mouth isn't going to be enough and it's not going to be the right people. So then the the referral is called, George. Use My name. Right. Ministries called or referred -ly well, guess what works doesn't pick up his phone anymore especially if he doesn't know who's calling and he's wondering why their friend gave his name out to someone who doesn't know. So forget that that's going to voicemail. Right, and so in introduction, of course, is when you're actually being connected introduced, you know raw meat, George George Meet, Laura Act can be done in person that could be done over the phone. A lot of people are doing with an email. I called an email handshake prey on. But now that you know you, you are able to follow through on that and you have someone to talk to be virtually or email or whatever, and so we we need to think in terms of connections and and I tell people that they're they're not really done in in this conversation till the connections been made till they. Have a way to reach out to someone knows they're reaching out there interested in hearing from them. Good Quality. Connections Been Mace. That's the basic differences. Yeah, and I. Think the critical point for sellers gladys is. Connection. The introductions made There's a yeah. The handshake virtual handshake, right? Yeah. Otherwise. Referred lead is a good way to look at it. Yeah. I mean elephant and work a little. Yes. Sure. I mean, you know there's word of mouth works for some businesses to a certain degree. Yeah. Of course, I, mean, we should all be getting unsolicited referrals. We should all I. Mean, that's a barometer of our refer ability. We should all be getting some of those if you're not. If you're not having some of your clients or customers, talk about you to others the new better, examine that relationship, the value in precede. Exactly right, and certainly some businesses lend itself to that more than others But that's kind of a barometer I. I'm concerned. Well, risen interesting question is is so yeah. How do you? How do you cultivate that? Right. I mean. It's it's obviously won't be able to cultivate your. To. Give you. These introductions help with the word of mouth is is what you'd be doing. Yeah. So Well, first of all you got. You've gotTA create what we call engage clients or engage customers and and and engage customer client is someone who's who. appreciate your value they liked. The ideas, you suggest the the educational elements of your process, the questions you asked to get them thinking in ways they haven't thought before and. Responsive Service, and that's all kinda value part of the relationship, and then the other part is the personal connection, the personal side of the relationship and I I A business friendships. You know it's not like your best buddies and in or whatever. But but your business friends and anybody listen to this knows what I'm talking about because they had them. And that's kind of to me. That's the secret sauce of creating advocates because when you do a great job for people and you know some, we'll talk about you without you even asking, then they'll be receptive to you asking and you can make get some introductions and all that. But then when they really like you. To. then. They want to help others with your value, but they also don't mind helping you and so so. They take stake in your success a little bit like you've taken a stake in their success, and so that's the secret sauce to really creating a lot more advocates for our business in advocates. Typically will number one you know advocate for you. Obviously, they're gonNA, you know recommend you vouch for you, but they're also gonNA pay attention to the connection. They're gonNA, make sure the connection goes through. They'RE GONNA, they're GONNA bug. You Hey, if you call my friend yet or they're going to bug their. Recall My. And that that's what we want. You know ultimately advocates and one of the best ways to create advocates Especially, this business friendship is client events. Klein. Appreciation events, customer appreciation events where you get together with people in a social setting There's all kinds of things that businesses do to just to get the know people in the and take that relationship to a higher level. This is particularly powerful in professional services, any kind of professional service business in. So then you can start to use those events for actually ways of getting introductions to. Well, it's like you see. Yeah, tech companies of basically user events. Where users but and they bring their friends. And they act as the sales people. You don't even need the sellers sell. Exactly, you know it, and even though it's a user event meant to be mostly centered around You know the the the product obviously in the G., and in all of that, however, there's the social aspect to it, and then of course, the sales. Reps. With the users and and you just start develop these relationships. So you you see large companies, small companies. Anybody can can be doing this sort of thing, and this by the way is back to the book of relevance. This is how you remain relevant with your client's. We'll say, how do you stay relevant role? I. Keep Talking to clients and I talked to them on a social level. I talked to them on a on a business level and I find out what their challenges are on both levels you know to agree on the personal, and that's how you stay relevant is is having these kinds of closer relations to me radical relevance. It starts with a relentless passion for. Delivering a Great Product Service relationship to your client. It's gotTa start with that, and it's about getting the no. Those people in ways that you know the average business wouldn't take time and energy to get to know them, and that's how you stand out. Yeah. Let's roll number nine relevance begins with client obsession. Wow. You're. Actually looking at the book, My friend, I read the book so So but I think that's true on their companies. Stand out for this I mean Amazon is obviously for the larger companies world now at least by value. Yeah they have. They have this legendary obsession with with customers and. Improving, the customer experience and. And to your point. Rule Number fifteen as your clients aren't mind readers or you said prospect and clients, but. But if you WANNA have. You know build this community of Sir raving fans as you got to talk to them Oh. Yeah. Yeah. You do and you know the way I I see the world through I used to joke in the book I. I used to see the world through the glasses of referrals introductions. Right? That was, how do we leverage these great relationships? How do we? What are different ways to? To do that products services, right. How do we take whatever we're doing whatever the project? How do we add an element of referrals and introductions or word of mouth to it, and of course, now, I'm seeing through bifocals I guess now I'm also seeing idea relevance and value proposition, but they go hand in hand I mean, one of the reasons I got into this is. I was interviewing a bunch of sales people and I was for a conference. I was speaking at and I said. All right. So you get some referrals I go. Yeah. Great. You know wh. What do you say to these prospects when you call them or reach out via email or whatever, and their their value proposition was so lame that I. Go I gotTA write a book on this, right? I'm helping people meeting New People, but they're not gonNA. Make the sale or get the appointment if they don't know what to say. So th this fundamental, right, how you talk how you believe in and talk about your value is fundamental to your success, and it's why I see a lot of folks who are newer in sales not succeed because they never truly got inspired and believe in an emotional connection. To the value I don't care what you're selling. Right? You're. You're selling a product. You're selling a service Yoursel unbeatably. You're selling beat Assi whatever you do has an impact on a person. And if you can figure that out and know it and believe it. No, you're doing good work than that setup session, and that's that's Know How you be more relevant to them and bring better products and solutions and answers to the questions, and that's how you become referral. So they all go together. So yet about value though I mean value is this certainly sales, it's become a Cliche, right? Yeah what? What is value and I think this is really important for sellers to understand because it's it's Yeah. They talk about creating value delivering value, but if you ask them to really. Quantify that be specific. What's the value Bob? Really don't know for the most part. Well and also value is in the eye of the beholder, right? So scratch, we may be thinking we're bringing value, but we don't really know until we hear it so. I mean, one of things I teach is something call value discussion where we want to check in and we want to say. You know how we doing. You know we've been through a process to get to this point door. We just talked about a lot of things meeting what stands out as the most valuable. So we want to check in and see We also WANNA pay attention to value recognizing statements because prospects, clients, customers, they all say good things about us. Some of them are saying things about you and and so thou now we know values being delivered. But you know value is what value is. Ideas it's perspective is it's ways to look at things differently. It's You know it's helping people do a better job of be more effective, more efficient Understand what they're buying better. There's lots of ways to bring value and I believe in leading with value e every salesperson, every business, every marketing. because. Our Society is so in tuned to not wanting to be sold to. Right, we have to lead with some some help. Here's away. I can be of service to you. Even if we don't do business I, know there's a way I can serve you in some way and that's value. Right you show up with the prospect than you see, they're doing something that they could do a little bit differently in better. You teach him, you know and expect to get paid for you. Just teach him, you show them. That's value, and then they start to like you and they start to trust you and they see that you have other points of value and so it doesn't have to be this. Mysterious thing. It's just very specific things we can do with our prospects and clients. Yeah and I started taking a step further for me. It is those things, but it's those things only if the help the buyer move closer to making a decision. Right. Well, I think there's both I think there's value in decision process, and then there's just value. Just, wait help. FRY But few got the Chur. But they have to have helped the customer in the context. Why are you talking to them because hopefully, they're evaluating making a decision about how to solve this problem, how to achieve a certain outcome or whatever. and. You can consume some of their time. And if it doesn't help them in some dimension and making that decision about what to do doesn't mean could be small progress, but it's progress. There's no progress maybe just wasted their time. then. There's no value in it. Yeah, I. Hear You. So that's why I agree with you. It's those things you talk inside questions data whatever. But has to be in the context of. Did, did we help you? Move. Forward, right. Now. Then because you're talking about being compellingly critical as their crinkly compelling, I'm sorry. Let. Me Get that straight critically. Compelling. To your point about inertia to the moving and keep them moving, and if you have meetings with your clients where you're not delivering something that they perceived to be valuable to helping them move closer making decision not moving forward. And therefore in my and my world, my experience vehicle to them. Make Sense. It's good. We had violent agreement on those things. Like Green. But Button and you have the quote from artists, Albion your book but. Looking, which has a great quote looking different in the market plates isn't about what you or your company does. That's what your clients are see from what you do and and. Get away from the features and benefits and and what do people get from investing your product. Yeah. I have a one of the rules of relevance. The that you've already mentioned. The book has seventeen of them, and one of them is only differences that matter matter righto. You know there's a lot of conversation around while mates different. What makes you different makes you different a lot of people struggle with it Possibly, because they don't have a good target market, they don't, they don't have this relentless passion for their their clients or customers So they don't know how they stand out but you know it's it's some people have superficial differences. and. So but that doesn't matter. So I'll give you an example I. Do work a lot of financial companies and there was a trend or while where financial advisors were their websites to reflect their hobbies fishing. Dogs cooking whatever, and there's nothing wrong with. Yeah. Being personal and there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with conveying. But they were, they were seeing that as part of their the differentiation of their brand. But. That's not a differentiation that matters I mean, it might matter to someone else who fishes in. So if you all you WANNA attract is people who fish oil then I, guess that could be a differentiation but more, it doesn't have anything to do with financial planning. So only differences it matter matter. AH BANKING CLIENT OF MINE. One of their with called unique selling propositions was the fact that they had been in business for one hundred, twenty seven years and I said, well, so what founded on garage? Yeah. Okay. That's different. Yeah. Okay. I. Get it. But how does that benefit me if at all in the younger person may say, well, you know they're probably old. stodgy and don't have the latest APPS and someone old older might think, okay, that's good. You know they've been around for a long time. They're not going anywhere, but we don't know that unless we communicate in a way that's relevant to our prospect. It has no value to our prospect if it isn't relevant to them, and so what I had them do is I had them go through this list of theirs and and translate every one of those those features that they thought were benefits into actual real live benefits could say. So what this means to you is this or how this will show up to you is is right and so now. They have things to talk about and a lot of people confuse platitudes with differentiator and what I mean by it as any if I'm almost any business can say it. Then it's not a differentiator. Right when I'm in front of an audience, a guard, raise your hand if you use the fact that you really care about your clients in the mind. Solutions. And most of the hands go up by go. All right. Well, clearly, it's not a differentiator if everybody in the room, does it right? So and it doesn't mean you know talk about those things. I'm not saying you know talk about him, just don't expect that to be a differentiator. It's gotta be something different. Well, the differentiator can and should be the experience. The buyer has with you going through their their buying journey aft-? Absolutely. It's. It's a, it's a yeah. That's one of the biggest places. The end of the be the whole experience that makes you different. But there's certain ways you do things that bring more value more. Pleasure peace of mind. Saving time saving money, etc. That does differentiate you from other people. Yeah. I mean it's it's. Amazing, they are talking to sellers who think that It's all about the product and they'll say, well, you know buyers emotion enters into decision making and so on. But then they don't factor that into what's the experience we have the buyer. During their buying during which we know from research is this incredibly complex thing that they go through Somewhat blind because they don't have experience maybe buying this type of product. So they're served making it up as they go. Well. Dan, what's what's how can you help them with that? Yeah if buying. Believe that you know buyers generally says, Ommission, say look we want to. quickly, gather information to make a good decision with least investment of time and money possible. But how do you help that? I helping them. How are you helping them chief that through how you sell to them? And you know that's a lot of what makes you referral? It's not In an end service and in product could be part of that for sure. But it's mostly the process of doing business as you. It's the, it's the process you took them to, as you say to that buying journey that at the end they go. Wow. This is great better than I expected I, I I, know I made the right decision. By the way. You know you help me with this and and so when they talk about you, they don't just talk about. This is a great. Great product, they talk about you know of getting of learning about and buying it absolutely. That's what makes you a referral and you and you become referral before a sale. If you have a great process after educating folks right and all that you can be referral even before the sales made Jeff I agree that's happened for me a couple of times I mean. But it's it's but at two point you companies and the work you it really is you as a as an individual. That at the end of the day, oftentimes gathered offering to make an introduction of you not your company thereafter, Omega offer interest injuries you to somebody in their network, some of their connected with someone that you could help. True. Darn. Well, Bill unfortunately run out of time. But. Yeah, so how can people learn more about your book and get in touch with you? Sarah I? I appreciate that couple tools. Here's some free stuff We have a report that guide. I should say it's free to your listeners and It's a nice combination of kind of good reflection of what we talked about here. Today with the things I've been known around referrals introductions for years and my new material in the book radical relevant since called financial growth guide, DOT com. So go to exponential growth guide DOT COM and get that free, and then the book radical relevance obviously were sold meaning Amazon And you know audio and kindle and all. But It's more than a book and if I may there was so much I wanted to put into the book but I didn't want the book to be so large that people wouldn't read it. Right? It becomes daunting and that doesn't do any anybody. Any good. So I created a radical relevance tool kit and essentially it's a lot. Lot, of the things that a lot of very tactical and nitty gritty kind of things that I didn't put in the book that The you get if you get the book and so within the first several pages tells you how to register the bulk and you get access to the perfect radical relevance toolkit and just go to radical relevance book dotcom radical. Relevance. Book Dot Com You'll get into my world would love to help you. Let's see how it can be service. Excellent. Alright. People. Check it out. Don't thanks a lot. Thank you andy. Okay friends. That's it. For this episode. First of all, I want to thank you for taking the time to listen and I'm so grateful for your support of the show and I don't think my guest. Bill. Gates for sharing his wisdom with us today. If you join this episode, please subscribe to this podcast sales enablement with Andy Paul on I, tunes spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. And she also leave us a rating or review lesson how we're doing. We'd certainly appreciate it. You can do all that on your phone less than a minute. As soon as this podcast is over, so thanks help and thank you so much for investing your time with me today. Until next time, I'm your host any. Good selling everyone. Ren- DNA is the leading sales enablement platform that uses a to help scale business growth. Trusted by the top companies across the globe ring DNA offers a suite of powerful tools for every sales role. During DNA dialer radically improved sales productivity and call connection rates while guided selling helps reps know exactly what to do and when to. Conversation. I use artificial intelligence to surface the most impactful coaching opportunities in real time. So. No matter where your team is working from the ring deny platform can help them exponentially increased call connections, opportunities, and revenue learn more at ring DNA dot, com slash platform, that's ringed ebay dot com slash platform.
Featured Interview with Bill Cates
"This is the breakfast leadership podcast. Powdery burn outed you make the choice. Here's your host Michael Savage Welcome back I've got bill kates. It's the referral coach on the line. Hey Bill how are you. I'm doing great my hair you I am awesome awesome great to have you on the show. You are an all star when it comes to relationship relationship marketing and all things and in helping organizations really figure out that ever lasting challenge of how do I get the clients and and it's all about relationships. So tell us your backstory. How you got into the business and you know one of the common mistakes you see many of us Happen in in do when we're we're trying to grow businesses through marketing shirl. I've been On my own businesses businesses for over over forty years and had a couple of book publishing companies. They sold those businesses eventually and was looking for the next thing to do and I just liked the idea of of learning and and synthesizing and then sharing what I learned with are the people. So I got into this business of consulting and writing and speaking and coaching and All geared towards helping folks grow their business through referrals introductions How we talk about our value proposition in all those aspects that that I kind of put under the banner of relationship marketing? Because it's all about the relationship and it doesn't mean that you know digital marketing can't fit under under relationship marketing. It can if you do it. The Right Way Without question and the biggest mistake I think one of the biggest mistakes that I see it is a lot of business. Owners and professionals are not focused and dedicated and committed to bringing hanging in their new business based on how their prospects their clients would prefer to meet them. Now there is. We get enamored with social media. We get enamored with all kinds of ideas But having someone really WanNa meet US right Are they really gonNA WANNA meet us to facebook AD. That won't maybe you know I mean it can work So that's one of the biggest ones. And then I guess the other one in an off shut up on this locally of mine is that in a lot of folks confuse or when. Something's not working as well as they'd like it to be working. The first thing they do is they just they throw more tactics at the situation. You know maybe I need to do this or that. But when really could be strategy and the principles they're following aren't right sound in the first place so there's a two two main things icy yeah. There's a lot of gold in there. We'll dive into some of those things. You know the the last thing you had mentioned about okay. Something's not working all right. Let's just throw some stuff at a a good analogy that I use a lot of times as you. You have a house and you have a leaky roof. So what what you do is the proper way to do it is strip off the shingles get down to the woods. See if Thor's problems with the would Replace either you know a few of the beams or maybe after place the whole roof To address the leak take but you know the example you gave is basically well. We'll just put more shingles on and that'll stop it and next thing you know you've got like five layers ears of shingles and you still have a problem. You've got something that underneath a still isn't working you. You've got all this extra stuff. That's not helping anything anything at all. And it's I think that's a communist state that a lot of businesses make is they they think well. This is the way to do it. I'm going to do it. FACEBOOK ADS for example. Okay I'm GonNa just go crazy on facebook ads and spend a bunch of money on it without really knowing who their who their client truly is in love. Love the analogy you gave this. How does your customer want to be reached? DO THEY WANNA be reached face to face. Phone Call Postcard facebook Eh over coffee storefront could be a lot of different things but putting all your eggs in into one basket and expecting all of of your customers to be there when you may not even know if they go there is Is a big thing and I think. A lot of people have made Mr Doc Berg very very wealthy because of you know adds that quite frankly didn't work because they weren't targeted in the right way and the main you know for some cases they may not be the right platform for people to be advertising on in the first place his true so when when you encounter a business that is struggling with their marketing and they've got a rock solid product or service that make sense. It's like yeah. This should do well in the marketplace place. What are some of the first things you do to kind of help them have a little bit more awareness on what they should be approaching in some in different techniques that they should really be open to and engaging you know potential clients then obviously strengthening the the client relationships they already have? Yeah the first thing I I I look at is that the match of the product service to the market You know e- is have they pick the right market. Who Do they have a well? Defined market is too broad You know a lot of businesses. Make the mistake of thinking or airing on the side of being broader Not Wanting to give up some segments of the market. But the problem is when you do that it actually weakens is your value. Proposition weakens your messaging. And so you end up having week messaging that's not as targeted and is not as successful. Now it doesn't mean you you can't go after a broad market but usually you want to defy at divide your market into subdivisions. And so you don't go after everybody not all the same way And it's almost little business units within your business so that's the first thing I look at is are they matching the right product with the right market. Get what's the problem they solve and I would I remember. I'm writing a new book now around this and I I was talking to a very successful venture. Capitalists the getting Michael Scott in In the Boston area. And he says to me says what do you think is that the number one failure of of Of small businesses and feeling kind of cocky is world you know not having the right market. He says not the second reason I guess again. I said I don't eat tummy's not knowing what problem they solve or not solving a big enough problem and and if the problem isn't big enough isn't urgent. Enough is in critical enough so he makes distinction between an aspirational problem. Critical problem and a lot of times were were you know when we Market to opportunities. There's usually a problem underlying an opportunity. But it's aspirational it's nice to do. It's not much to do but when you have a product service that's targeted towards critical. The problems. Things that must be solved is a timeline to it. There's some government regulations. Whatever you're in a much stronger position so I look at what problem you know? Is this business trying to solve. Is it a critical problem. And the other thing I look at is does the does the customer the Perspective customer summer. No they have the problem because if they don't know they have the problem now. You're doing what MICA calls missionary selling. It's it's you got to go deeper. I mean you can't do it you can but you've got to find ways to quickly exposed that problem so you have someone who's going to stay with you and and talk to you about it but it you know if you haven't What he would call a A latent aspirational problem right. They don't know they have it and it's not really that critical. You're going nowhere. So are you solving the right problem. Is it a big enough problem. nuts one of the things that that we like to talk about to as you know a lot of business. The owners are enamored with their product and service. And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. But because of that they they see everything through their own is not through their prospects or customers is and sa- crucial thing and many of us consultants will get into a business because they brought us in to help Alpe with a problem and we get in there and we lift up the Rock and we look underneath that rock and we go. ooh Wow and it's it's our it's our duty to bring to their attention but and do it in a way where it's not like you said you know missionary selling but it's okay. Yes we're here on this but I've discovered this and based on my experiences when you address this it will correct at these other things as well. DO WE WANNA look at this now or should we finish what you brought me four and then we can circle back to this at some point. Unless there's something in there that would make your work next to impossible to accomplish. Because of whatever's festering underneath this rock then again you you circa will let you modify the scope a bit because the last thing you want to do and it does you know bring you know. Some bad will basically to a lot of consultants says they'll go in and they'll say up. We're going to go in and do this but we know they've got this and will will up. Solomon we'll beat will be set for a while and that's that's not that's it's not the way to go about business and it doesn't. It doesn't get you referrals. It doesn't and that's again you know. One of the you know the best. The best forms of of advertising in my opinion is referrals because it builds in the know like entrust factor and when you get a referral from a business they go. Oh well if if if they're dumb enough to hire you. I guess I'm dumb enough to so yeah. I definitely want to dive into the on the referral side of things. You know in the things I find about that is it. It cuts through a lot of the investigative things when you get a referral from a colleague colleague or a similar organization. That's you know has some challenges earlier or issues that your organization does so how. How do you coach coach businesses to give you the right referral? And that's a big thing. 'cause I've got referrals from time to time and and you know sometimes I feel like okay. You gave me a referral to teach us individual how to Ballroom dance and I can barely do left left to right So I'm not the right person for this but you know how do you. How do you coach people on on the fine art of referrals? In what what. What's the best way is to you know to one to get them and and also to to provide them sure? Well there's there's a lot you put in there and we got unpacked so You know the first thing you ask was how do you make sure you get referred to the right people and That's all about teaching teaching your referral source Of who you serve the best and so first of all number one you better know that Who deserves the best? Who is your persona? Who is your ideal client in a book? Come running now I call it a right fit client and so knowing who you serve the best knowing who you're trying to to To pursue if you will attract your business is is critical and you WanNa teach your referral sources because if you don't If they refer if they make introductions than they may not be the right ones and then either you're gonNA take on business. You shouldn't which is my mind lose lose situation and Or you're you're going to not get any of the right people can any at all. You GotTa make sure that people know so what I like to do And recommend is early in a new relationship is to teach our prospects teach our clients customers who we serve the best. So it Michael. Could you know it could be something like this. You know Michael as we work together. It's you know it's possible you may identify other folks that you think should be aware of the work. I do ruin Gossip that ever comes up and you feel like introducing me I. It's wonderful I'm never too busy to see if I could be a resource for others and if you don't mind Miami share with you kind of our who we serve the best these days who are businesses geared towards an. It's people much like yourself and then that adoption and I compliment them mm-hmm and then keep going. So I'm I'm planting the seed for the possibility of introductions bought and by educating you on who I served the best so that's one way to do it another way to do. It is if someone thinks of someone. And you're there Were you bring it up and ask for introductions you still want to qualify. You Still WanNa say talk about your friend. Let's talk about your past business partner and see if it makes sense for us to be talking you know never assume it's the right match always being a qualifying fine mode and by being qualify mode number. One you're going to Increase the chances of getting introduced to the right people. And you're teaching. You're educating your referral sources at the same time So it it's basically about being comfortable and confident in the space of referrals referrals. And introductions is how you get the right once and seeing yourself as a connector. You're someone who connects others. You help them to connection and you get connected and you get connected to the right people so we also asked about you know you know asking for referrals and Handy get into that place ace of being comfortable. A lot of people aren't comfortable. That's one of the reasons I'm in business. And they don't they don't WanNa look need. They don't WANNA look like they're pushing Tall all that kind of stuff and so What we have to understand is this isn't rocket science This is really just just a matter of being confident in one of the things I try to do. The work that I do is help people become more confident around this So if you want we can we. We can jump into that what it looks like. You know how you know how we might ask someone that right. Yeah definitely a good. So here's here's the here's the best way to ask for a referral slash introductions and make a distinction real quick. I'm using the word referrals and introductions interchangeably but What we really want is to get introduced right? We want an introduction. We the the old referred leave the old call George use. My name doesn't work so only more because George doesn't pick up his phone Georgia's wondering why their friend gave their name out to someone they don't know and and so it just doesn't work so we gotta get connected to. It could be in person. It could be with an email introduction as a lot of different ways it connected so everyone listening to this interview right. Now when you're with a prospect or a client or a center of influence please use the word introductions Let's talk about who you might be able to introduce me to or no. Let's talk about how you introduce Laura. So she feels comfortable with this. And so it's all the word introductions with that sad I go back and forth a little bit so the best way to do. This is to identify people in your clients slides. Who could be candidates for the work? You do see the mistake that people make when they asked they usually throw it open to the whole universe. They'll say who do you know we can help. And they don't picture anybody in their minds I and they go on and I'll give it some thought. I'll let you know or from your cards. I'll hear him with me or whatever and so it doesn't usually fizzles and here's the deal. You can't be introduced everybody. You can only be introduced to somebody so the Bullseye in in all of this is coming to the conversation with one or two or three specific individuals you know your referral source knows and it could be from paying attention and previous meetings too you know. They're they're how you met them and who they know and what circles a move in it depends on the nature of your business is going to change a little bit depending on Your Business Model You could look on Lincoln Dan. You could look in a directory of their Industry Association if they sit on the board of directors of an industry association but quite often Our clients will mention other people all and we just put it in our inventory. There's we create an inventory a possible introductions for any given client and that's the bull's eye that's the easiest most comfortable comfortable most effective way. How do you feel about introduced me to Paul Jones Right So on target. That's the bullseye. This the next ring out on the target could be categories and every business is different so every business has different categories but Think you think of the business you have. And what are the types of the events Life events business events. Were things going on in. Your prospects lives and business that might make their radar. You know a little more receptive to learning about you. And those are the kind of categories I am talking about so I do a lot of work with financial advisors financial professionals and so One of the categories they think about is money in motion. Someone is inheriting or selling a business. This some sort of money in motion and obviously someone who has money in motion is maybe going to have their radar out for financial advisor may be a have one. But they're not really thrilled with who they're working with and now they got this big chunk of money in motion. Now's the time may be considered someone else in these types of categories gorey's every business has Is is not the bulls eye but it's pretty darn close and it's another way to go so so the key here in in this requests for introductions really is coming prepared not winging it not throwing open to the whole universe thinking through. Who Do? I know this person knows who are they connected with And then taking it from that spot I love the introduction component of it because yeah people here referral and they. They have a thought process about that. But an an introduction is just an introduction. There's no there's no obligation it's okay. Let's let's have a conversation and when you're introduced news to somebody or someone is GonNa be introduced you once you know that you're GonNa have you know a conversation in one of the things that I do. That makes a big difference. I think is get to know who that person is. You know it's with online access and everything like that. It's not difficult to find out about something of course in the conversation conversation. And you you alluded to this earlier you know get to know you know. Why are you introducing me to this person or why? Why did you think give this person? What's what's going on? And and their their lives or their organization where you think I'm going to be able to help them. Yes so that way. When you're having in that conversation with a group or that individual you already have a basic understanding of a pain point that they have if you go in and start talking with that person with the I already understand your pain points and we just met all of the sudden it that it just takes off several layers of okay? I don't really know this person. It's more of A. Wow bill gets me. Bill knows what I'm going through. All right I I I like bill and now getting to know them and an okay. Now I'm getting to trust him. And and when when you have the know like entrust kick in then the the world's Basically okay let's let's see how we can work together and and and make things better for everybody involved. Yes I mean what what you just mentioned is is why referrals slash introductions work. It's borrowed trust. We borrow the trust in one relationship long enough. Turn our own trusted Austin in a new relationship and You know you hit on something I think is very important A kind of a magical question that I've been teaching for a long time time What's going on in his life for life their life? Whoever you're getting introduced the what's going on in their life? It's important to them right now. Or what's is going on in their business is important to them right now if you're doing B. Two B. and Whatever that is whatever is you know the forefront of their life or business radar eight are should be the reason forgetting introduced This is why you're getting introduced. This is your approach to them. there's two types of research we can do. There's cold research which is going to their linked in profile their website page. And all that. And that's good that can be very valuable bowl research and then there's warm research which is the information that you can only learn from someone who knows them in this case your referral furrow source and so Asking those types of questions. Here's another question it's nice to ask is what do you like or admire about them. Or what do you respect aspect about them and they'll tell you sometimes things you have in common and it's just you you're going to start off in a better place right. And why is this important. Because that's one of the biggest factors are dynamics. Going on marketing and attracting people into our world is empathy. Our prospects need to get the sense that we know them. This is one of the ways we set ourselves apart a little bit. This is how we cut through the noise and get their attention is the fact tracked. We know them a little bit narrowing. Our market will help us do that as well. But what we learned from our referral source will help us and how we get introduced based on that and how we follow up is so that whole concept of empathy is is pretty critical now. What's what's the fastest line? straightest line aligned to relevance in in someone else's world right in in in your best prospect with the fastest way to be relevant to them mel introduction from someone when they trust there are other ways to become relevant but without question. That's the fastest. And when we couple that with some research it's a very powerful combination again it takes it takes the business out of it because everybody. There's always that whenever you get a a sales inquiry or something like that. You're you're is kind of role or you know for linked in for example you connect with somebody and then you did you set the countdown timer for the sales pitch a three to one and all of a sudden. It's like forty paragraphs long and you're going look you know. I took three semesters of typing in highschool for two reasons number one because I knew that learning to type faster would probably serve me and my career which I was spot on in two. Typically I would be the only boy in the class so And as a high school kid did. That's not a bad thing. So I mean you know statute of limitations I've been outta school long enough won't get in trouble for that but again. It's it's one of those things where in eighteen paragraphs or whatever and the email and you're like okay that was the cut and paste okay. That wasn't tailored to me. They they didn't. There's no way they had enough time to look at my profile. Know who I am And here they are you know pimping their their grow your linked in connection one thing or get Okay you're going about it in a wrong way type of thing so yet. It's almost the point where the connection. I'm like Oh yeah they're going to. They're looking for something it's like. They don't think they really want to get to know me because they're burned out or stressed or anything like that. It's something completely different. So it's the same thing you know when you get an introduction to somebody you have a conversation as human beings we we we seek to understand each other and figure out. Okay where some commonalities could could be. Hey you know we both like the same sports teams or we both frequent the same restaurants or we we've both been to a particular resort resort somewhere in. You know there's people long for those commonalities to make us feel like we're not the only person that's ever gone to those places so when when you get that it just it makes the conversation more humanistic. I guess is a good way to put it. In all likelihood you know it increases the likelihood of if there is a way to work together you will well we we trust people more. We tend to With whom we we have something in common so gosh. I can't remember where I read this. It might have been Robert Caldeans Book influence but was talking about Yup. Let's say you're you're in France and you're looking for a restaurant then you go to a Frenchman Frenchwoman. You say what's the Best Restaurant Indigo. You've also got the you know that's the no one's my German accent but anyway So you know you get a recommendation from from a local and then you're walking across some little bridge and maybe you're from Michigan and you see you know people with sweatshirts in a t shirts on from Michigan and go. Hey what part of Michigan you know. What's it's a good restaurant to go to? And they recommend to go there you know rather than what the local recommended. It's there's just something about when you have something in common with people. There's just a little bit more trust. It just seems to be human nature and I guess that could be misplace. You have to be careful but it's just it's just the way it works. So that's why it's so important to do a little research before you reach out to people There's a lot of reasons why do that. One is say you're more relevant. Went another is because you have that in common which creates trust. Another is to make sure that that you know a little something about and they see that you're actually taking the time that this isn't just a copy and Paste Lincoln campaign that you paid some kid you know ten cents a name to do So one of the things things I found by the way And I kind of stumbled on this actually on how to make lengthy and work a little bit better is is a series of really really easy yeses in other words. Sometimes people ask too much like if you reach out to someone linked in and and let's say you're doing her all right. You have something in common and all that but if you're I request is to schedule a phone call at usually too big of es for I ranger and so you've got to think of what's what is a smaller thing that I can offer that they might be interested in. That's easy for them to say yes to which is maybe sending them something checklist You know if you if you're a real estate agent could be you know how to make sure you select the real estate agents is or how to price your home properly for the market so something of value something simple and easy to consume so it's a series of very small easy yeses S.'s. Until people get a feel for you and then it's it's easier to go for the big you know it's like dating right. You know you you go out in the first time Um you just you know your your Google is each other the second time you go out and maybe hold hands maybe not maybe a way to the third day you know but it's it's a series awesome small yeses and a lot of folks go to too far too fast basically like the first date and you've got the you know the wedding ring in your pocket and you're proposing to the girl and she. She's struggling going through her phone. Trying to remember what your name is and you know you real. She's he's really hoping that you will pay for dinner so she can try to glance at your credit card and you know maybe she'll jokingly grab it say I'm GonNa use this for later. Ha Ha and then she looks looks at the car just to get your name in. I'm not. I'm not trying to give anybody any hints. But the these are some tips and techniques. If you can't remember bird year of Now if it's your kid or your spouse you're on your own for figuring that out but the end of the day. Yeah it's it it again it. I do that unlinked into if I you know if I'm connecting with somebody with obviously you know hopes to maybe connect with them down the road. It's it's just you know. Get to know what you know what. Their interests are cinnamon article or a worksheet. Her our subject matter or and ask him you. What's what's keeping them you know? Just whatever the whatever feels right. Yes it's individualistic okay. Yeah you've got six thousand Lincoln connections and you're you're are hoping that you're going to land some of them as clients. Don't don't do a broadcast. That's that's just spam But you know the one on one the in be different You'RE GONNA have more work than you'll know what to do with if you can differentiate and and connect with people at a level that they wanna be connected at no no no question so bill. Where can people find out more about you? In the Austin work that you're done why portray asking We've got a couple of things as we got a A new guy that all your listeners are welcomed the gets complimentary and just go to Multiply your best clients DOT com. I mean who wouldn't want to multiply your best clients and multiply your best clients that common where things we're focusing on these days in my business is not just client multiplication but multiplying the best clients where we're going after quality not just quantity So that's one place And then referral coach Dot COM com forward slash resources Lot of free. Things ought to reports e guys checklists scripts big big on wordsmith thing. Big On helping people figure out the right words to say and then of course they can adapt it to their world but We have a lot of that referral coach Dot com slash resources awesome mm-hmm and have all that information in shots so bill. Thank you again for all the awesome work that you're doing and and helping organizations and individuals really you connect their message to their client base in such a way that they are More successful than they could ever imagine. Yeah thank you Michael. I appreciate the work you do win and trying to help people not be burned out and get a little more balance and and I love your blog post about the Your inner weekend You know had he gets to that place every day in in during the week right when all this adrenaline coursing through your body. And you're trying to grow your business and you want to go to the inner weekend. Where a you're on your hammocks so It's a nice perspective. I appreciate so I applaud. You the work you're doing as well thank you very much. I really appreciate that. Thank you pay. It's Michael again. Thank you for listening to the PODCAST. I really appreciate it. Surely many people you're dealing with some significant stress and possibly approaching burnt out. I know how you feel in two thousand. Nine burnout led to a year of worst case scenarios. Do not want that to happen to you if you go to breakfast. LEADERSHIP DOT com. You can register for a free. Webinar burnt out prevention invention as well as good as a free checklist to have successful mornings. Start off each day the right way again. That's breakfast leadership dot com also since you are a loyal podcast listener. I'm asking you like rate and review my podcast on itunes. I look at all the reviews and appreciate your comments in it helps other potential listeners. Discover the content. I have on the show. I appreciate you and thanks again for listening.
Can I Have More Than One Niche?
"Welcome to influence her insights. I'm your host Julie Salamon. A marketing strategist brand building experts speaker in New York Times bestselling publicists and this ten minute training series. I answering your most asked questions and sought after advice about logging online branding and influence or growth with step-bystep strategies. You can take action on right away. Pay Julie Salamon here and welcome back to another episode of influence or insights and this is an exciting episode this week because it's another QNA with one of our incredible listeners. Now I started doing these last year. I really love him. I get to come on influence or insights an answer your questions. Sometimes I have you guys come along with me. So we're on the call together live and then sometimes we just have people pop in their questions and I'm able to answer them. Which is what. Today's conversation is going to be our listener. Kate Richards had a question that she wanted me to answer. So I am going to dive into this one and it is a good one because I know it's one that you have had as well because I've seen them in. My e mails and all that stuff so kate asks is bad to have more than one niece even if they fit together and she used the example. Such as beauty and fashion. So I really want to hone in on this. I thought that she has of is it. Bad to have more than one niche. So to me. If you're thinking of niching down being good or bad I want to try to retrain your thought on the whole purpose of niching down to begin with at least for my opinion in my experience the whole idea of focusing down on one thing is not. If it's good or bad or right or wrong its intention is to really give you clarity on the next steps that you need to take to reach our goals so in order to know if a niche is right for you or is fitting together is giving you the feedback that you're looking for. What have you you have to first? Make sure that you're really clear on what your goals are. If the topics and the themes and the content per se that you're niching down on actually directly reflects the goal that you're trying to achieve so for example with Kate if she is trying to do more content with beauty and fashion. Maybe she's trying to monetize. Maybe she's wanting to create a product or service around it maybe. She's wanting to align with company's Abedian Fashion World Maybe that's really what her audience wants to see more of from her then absolutely. It makes sense to focus in on those two types of content. Themes it's not bad to necessarily have more than one niece as long as those niches are directly tied to your goals. And where you're trying to go and it's not potentially being filtered in as maybe you just kind of doing a bunch of busy work so it actually keeps you distracted from what you're trying to achieve so what I mean is if cates long-term goal is to you know. Start an incredible line of skin care and she's talking about beauty and fashion trends all the time. Yes she may be niching down into the beauty space but but is the content that she's actually creating actually getting her closer to the goal of launching that product line so instead of thinking about like. Is it bad that if I have more than one Nesia or is this? The right niche whereas the wrong. Nishi Nita start thinking about. What are my goals in? Does this mich- piece of content that I am creating and sharing to my audience. Get me actually closer to reaching those goals. Does it get my audience clear on the messages that I'm bringing out. Does it give me more clarity on the next best steps that I need to take? Is it giving me feedback from my audience that I can then use to then built from there if the answer is no then it? It's not necessarily because you have more than one need. It just may be that you're focusing down on something that's not directly tied to the goals in which you're trying to achieve so. I want to try to get you guys to start thinking a little bit differently about niching down here. Okay so again. Let's kind of recap in order to figure out what you should meet down on in terms of potentially content. You're creating really what you are spending your time on right you. I have to a figure out your goal. Write it down. Get it clear as you can be to yourself and then start asking yourself a few quite a few key questions that could help you figure out what you should need strong on so for example if your goal is to create something then the first thing that you should probably start nation down on is actually the creation process of that right. What is it that you actually need to create an order to get this thing going if you're trying to create a live event and you're over here talking about your over here blog posting or talking about content that isn't directly related to that live event? You're probably not needing down the correct thing. If you're wanting to create a live event for example you probably start nation down on the key elements that you need to get going to have. That event actually happened right like ticket sales the audience. What's the content that you're going to be talking about? Are you going to have guests there and again? I'm just using an example. Kate isn't with us to give us a little bit more backstory here but the point of this is to I figure out what is my direct goal and then what are the specific things that I need to do to reach that goal and then from there. What is the first thing that I can start? Essentially meeting down on focusing down on to achieve that goal. So there is my answer to you kate. I hope that it gave you a little bit more clarity as to starting to think differently about the good or bad actually want us to take that idea out of it. It's neither good nor bad to have more than necessarily one as much as it is important to have clarity on why you're niching down on that specific thing in the first place all right guys. Thank you so much for joining in now. If you have a question that you want me to answer either on air or if you want to come on board with me and have me answering live for you been what you can do as head on over to our facebook group and that is at facebook dot com slash groups slash. The influence or podcast. Join that group and leave your question in there. That is where we find a lot of these questions. We also send out surveys throughout the year and big giveaways where we ask you questions. We do that on our newsletter. So if you're not part of our incredible newsletter community yet what are you waiting for head on over to Julie Salamon Dot net sign up for the newsletter? So you don't miss the opportunities to have your question. Answered live on air on a future influencers insights episode. All RIGHT GUYS. We will see you same time. Same place next week. Thank you so much for being here and let me know what you thought about. Today's question and answer. All you gotTa do is screen. Shot this episode on your phone. Get it over on instagram tag. Me At Joel. Solomon let me know the biggest takeaway clarity point you had from this and what you love most about this quick little nugget of an episode. Okay guys next week.
Monitor Show 17:00 08-08-2020 17:00
"How long how much? How many financial policy and medical experts are working on answers twenty four, seven what about public debts? We are listening to those experts twenty, four seven, effectively widening this cap with its programs because you want answers to what's the most important of trillions in stimulus economies reopening or the infections curved ending Bloomberg radio, the Bloomberg business APP and Bloombergradio Dot Com Bloomberg, the world is listening. Hours a day at Bloomberg dot com on the Bloomberg business APP and Bloomberg quick take. This is Bloomberg radio now a global news update. Executive orders. The Beirut protests I'm Anne cates president trump says he has come up with his own version of Corona virus relief providing a payroll tax holiday protecting people from addiction adding expanded. Benefits and helping Americans with student loans. The President says he had to take action after the Democrats didn't Gurna Goshi issues. We have repeatedly stated our willingness to immediately signed legislation providing expanded unemployment benefits, protecting Americans from eviction and providing additional relief payments to families. Democrats have refused these offers they want to negotiate what they really want is bail out money for stakes that are run by Democrat governors and. They're close to five million confirmed covid nineteen cases in the US demonstrations are underway in big route after a massive explosion killed more than one hundred fifty people with dozens missing correspondent been to Ms Their Gordon TV Lebanese red. Cross. At least one hundred protesters. have been injured. We saw many of those injured.
Ronnie the Limo Driver Struggles to Record a Cabaret Parody Song The Howard Stern Show
"The stern show since he's a host we had him record a parody. Version of Coleman The yes the famous missile number from the musical cabaret the host Sings in a lot of French words in German and of course riding had a very difficult time with welcome to the show fuckers. I'm I'm running a limo driver. You're allow me to Shaun calm. And they try. J. Watt Lips Zoo saying now. Show me me George cates. Happy to see you in con con con on Bill. Calm the new. Talk some horse. Thanks well how long how long they take record that like seven hours. I'll you should hear the outtakes flip is yeah. It's it's an eternity. The woman came our new shit. What is it now via common. Veal come in yet knew who be a new. Pin We are pretty new. Grave Vinnie face to face. Glueck leak Glueck neak. Let's Fox Horse spock some or or Oars Ores horts Horse Horse Horse Horrors. I I mean repeating after someone has to be the most basic thing. You can do you if I say bienvenue. Here's began caen for now. I heard you say well. Gee it'll juice. Who's can repeat glacier my click? Well I knew that would be interesting. But I didn't realize that in Iran. You never disappoint never disappoints Howard Stern show.
Holidays Week Night I Spy
"Chompers is produced by Gimblett and sponsored by crest and oral B. Welcome back. It's time for choppers. Your morning and night tooth brushing show. Stop brushing on the top of your mouth, pick aside. But don't brush too hard. Lee. It's holidays. We and tonight. We have more is spies to get you guessing. Well, describe something and you have to guess what holiday. We're talking about. Here's your first one. I see a festival full of beautiful lights. There are square ship lanterns hanging from every building and lots of people are carrying lanterns down to a river. When they get to the river, they carefully placed the lanterns in the water and watch them float away. What holiday snus? Find out after you. Switch your rushing to the other side of the top of your mouth. Ambusher fresher molars all the way in the back. This holiday is. Oh god. Oh, bonn. Is a holiday celebrated in the country of Japan every year people in Japan Travel back to their hometowns to honor. And celebrate their ancestors. Ancestors are people in your family that lived a long time ago like your great great grandmother during Oban people light lanterns to guide the spirits of their ancestors back to earth at the end of the festival, they take those lanterns to the river and let them float away. Saying goodbye to the spirits until next year. Switzer rushing to the bottom of your mouth and brush the inside outside and chewing side of each tooth. Here's one last is spy. I see a Skype build with Cates. They're blue Kite's red kites big fights and small kites kites of every size and color. Some people are flying their kites just for fun. But I also see a group of kids trying to see who can keep their kite in the air, the longest. What holidays? This shouted it out. Boston. Switzer brushing to the other side of the bottom of your mouth and brush all the way around each tooth. The bus festival is celebrated in countries like India, Nepal and Pakistan to celebrate the end of winter and welcome the spring their fares with music and delicious food and one of the biggest events is the kite flying competition people from all over compete to see who has the best kite skills. Hall. That's for chompers today. But come back tomorrow for more clean teen until then. One. Chompers is a production of Gimblett media. Chompers is brought to you by crest and oral B grownups. It's April and flowers are starting to bloom it's a fresh start to a new season. It's also the perfect time for a fresh set of toothbrushes and toothpastes from crest and oral B with dentists recommended toothbrushes it's easier than ever for your kids to sprout new habits and crest toothpastes come and flavors. Your kids will love like strawberry and bubblegum. Blooming smiles are always in season, thanks to crest and oral B.
Monitor Show 22:00 07-08-2020 22:00
"Commence of alphabets business are most likely to come under scrutiny good. All the pieces are getting mixed signals from governments. He's failed to gain traction Bloomberg radio. The Bloomberg Business Radio DOT COM, a diehard radio, APPs and Bloombergradio DOT COM Bloomberg. The World Is Listening Broadcasting Twenty four hours a day at Bloomberg Dot com on the Bloomberg business APP, and at Bloomberg quick take. This is Bloomberg radio now a global news update. covid nineteen spike opening schools I'm Anne, cates the number of confirmed coronavirus cases in the US is approaching three million at school district's make plans for the volve president. Trump wants a return to in person learning lengthy roundtable discussion on ways to get kids back in classrooms, president trump downplaying any risks to youngsters health who want to reopen the schools. Everybody wanted the MOMS. The dads wanted the kids want it. It's time to do it, you know. Know our mortality rate is right now at a level that people don't talk about down tenfold. Ideas Center around elementary and secondary schools holding one week of in person sessions forever class while the other half virtual learns, and then Vice Versa Bob Costantini Washington top infectious disease expert, Dr, Anthony Fauci agrees that students should return to class should try as best as possible to get the children back to school, and the school's open for the simple reason. that the secondary unintended consequences. Of having children, not being able to go to school as ripple effects for the family that might have deleterious effects that really override the so called safe.
Living the Lifestyle You Want: Money, Motherhood, & The Gospel | Ep. 112
"This episode of risen motherhood is funded by our generous donors if you like this podcast, please consider joining them at risen, motherhood dot com forward slash give. Motherhood is hard one second. We think we're doing a good enough job. And the next we feel like the worst mom on the planet. Which is why we need the refreshing truth, the gospel to be repeated over and over giving us hope in the everyday mobile, so mama. Whether you're sipping coal copy or do the sink full of dishes. We hope you'll find three encouragement and laughter here. This is the prison motherhood podcast. Thanks for joining us. Well, hello. And welcome to another episode of risen motherhood. I'm Laura with learn I had my sister-in-law Emily here with me. Hello and today here talking about some of sensitive topic, Emily, and I are hoping to have a bit of a discussion starter today all about money and materialism and resources, and how we spend it in how we think about it gets kinda messy in there. But before we do that we did want to just let you guys know about some free resources. We have on our website. Yeah. If you go to ridden, motherhood dot com forward slash abide. You will find some Greek free bible study resources there. We give some simple tutorials. There's even principles that go along for your kids that are really beautiful, and we hope are very helpful. So if you're getting ready to go into the Christmas winter season here without any formal bible. Studies at church, and you need something to do. We have something for you. You can just click. Download imprint so definitely had over there. Yes. So as I mentioned today, we are talking about money, and Emily, and I have been learning a lot, especially as we prepared for the show. So we want to share with you guys some takeaways, and we want to start off recognizing that. This is literally a discussion started. There is no way that we can cover the gamut of money and all the things that go into it, especially as a believer. But we want to talk about today. It's just how does the gospel reshape our financial priorities and motherhood, especially because if you're like us motherhood can feel really really really expensive. Yeah. And it was interesting as we were oppressing this one of the questions that came up. I was what even gives us like our idea of the right kind of motherhood, and what we should be putting our financial resources into. And so we just thought of a few that are familiar for us one and probably the most primary being just the culture around us, like whatever our friends at church are valuing with their financial resources or in our local community in our neighborhoods and even like on. Online. I know we fall into different subsets on social media. And sometimes whatever I'm seeing those moms having in their homes or their kids are wearing if feels like that's what my kids need to be wearing in order to have that. Good mom. Yeah. And also your upbringing. I mean, just whatever your parents were valuing, whatever they instilled in you, or maybe you want to do the opposite of what your parents that. I know sometimes happens, and then just us personally, what are those things that you personally, worship or that you value? So we're going to give a couple of examples in. No, we are stereotyping here. Just making the point. So we are picking on ourselves. We're included somewhere in this list. Yeah. If you'll be able to guess where? But we thought this was helpful as we just consider. Hey, what west there, alternate aim in mind? And how does that drive? What we go spend money on today. So for some people it's thinking, hey, if I have the best sports training for my child and the best word skier that's going to equal like a college scholarship at were like professional, athletes dot is another one is just investment in creativity and the arts, maybe special lessons or investing and really expensive instruments, and that's a future worship leader right there. Most definitely don't we all want our kids to be the one up on stage well-grounded sophisticated adult for. Another one is just trying to close thinking that. Hey, that's going to gain my child popularity or social acceptance or even like the admiration of the other moms around you like, a look how cute and there's a door. I want that complement you do. I mean, we all do not just you. You know, kind of that European farmhouse style living. So this is the one that we see on Instagram, and we're all just like, how do they do it? The wooden toys the genuine leather saddle shoes the floral dresses, you know, it's one of those things that just looks so simple and quaint. And we're all like, how do I get that? Now, like if I just spend money on that dress. We have a simple way. Or maybe your kids aren't older yet. I know even in those little years thinking that the stylish baby rabs or the highly rated strollers or like this year's diaper bag, which frustratingly literally changes every year. Oh, yeah. Is gonna mean, you were a cool. Mom, you don't look ordinary. You don't look like motherhood is a mom. You just can't even look like a mob. We can easily fall into that or even education. I think when we look ahead and totally naturally rightly want our children to experience some level of success. And we think we can buy that for them with the right type of education repent drips to the museum purchasing all the science kits or maybe even investing in like private school tuition. Yeah. Another one is just having a nanny or a house cleaner or the grocery delivery, this as moms we often value comfort and freedom to have this convenient life that we want and justify it and a lot of ways and sometimes aseries sometimes it's not or maybe your somebody who's very intentionally. Frugal and you budget, and you you're the master of sales and coupon clipping you this is the person that I am not. Although I very much sometimes wish that I could be, but there's always another side to that. Of course, having tight grip on every penny that goes in and out or wanting that financial security and control that's kind of what it equates to and even an admiration from others who maybe don't manage money, quite as well as you. So I feel like as we were constructing these examples like this could go on and on and on. But the point of this was just to show just this connection between our actions in spending and how they actually reveal what our hearts treasure Jesus talks about that. Where our treasure is. There are heart will be also. So it's really important that we see this tangible connecting line between how we're spending our money. And what it is that we often value and treasure. And we want to make a quick note here that you've maybe someone who's just barely getting by. And as you're hearing us talk about this stuff. You might be. I rolling. Pretty hard because you're just trying to make sure that everyone has their basic needs met right now, we actually received a note from somebody that was really helpful for Emily. And I especially as we admit we kind of speak from a middle class lifestyle. So just so you guys know where we're coming from. But we heard from a mom, and we felt like this was really really helpful and go perspective to keep in mind. And she just says it's so easy for me to fall into bitterness and envy, when I see other families who can take their children to museums music, lessons, swim, lessons, etc. Mothers who have regular weekly helped with their children from their mother in laws, and I don't have anybody even though I also work fulltime from home mothers who can provide clothing, and seasonal decor and fun activities for their children when I can't because there's no discretionary money in the budget for even clothing bitterness anger jealousy. I'm fighting against this every day. So we wanted to stick knowledge that at some level, we all struggle with this desire to acquire material things and sometimes that desire is really good and normal, and it's born of this desire to provide for children, which is right and good. And other times, it's borne out of Justice discontentment feeling like if my financial burdens were gone, then I'd finally be happy, and I could be a good mom door kids. Or maybe if you have plenty of financial resources, you are kind of thoughtlessly again doing that. If then thinking if I spend money on ABC, then my child is going to have the life that I want them to have where I'm going to be the type of mom that I really wanna be. It's interesting how money and really just like the just sin it levels. All right. Like, none of us really deal with anything in life perfectly. And it doesn't matter if you have too much if you have two little or you have just a medium amount. Feeling like locks here. But no matter what you have for income and finances, it's hard because I think that Satan uses it to manipulate our heart motivations and just make things really hard and our sin manifest out of it. But one side note, I think that's interesting too. Is that if you're having a lot of if then statements in your mind, it's usually a really good indication of what we think we need to be content or joyful or justified as only was saying we kind of our thinking, oh, if I do this, then I'll be a better mom, or I'll be a good mom, or my kids will be more setup for the future. So this is a hard conversation that we're having today, but we still hope that the gospel. Hope we're gonna share in a minute reaches you in a very new and convicting way, and that you take away some hope from today's show. So in creation. This is always very stark reminder that God owns everything. Every resource originally belongs to him. He's the one that breathes everything into existence. And so when you create. Right. That's what we tell our toddler like you built that tower. Your brother cannot come in and destroy the creator does have that special authority, and ultimately he gave us all the good gifts in creation to worship him alone. And his intention was that people would find their worth and their value in him and enjoy him the most and what I think is interesting is wherever we look in scripture to see God's designed for finances. It's always rooted and his agenda in his desires when he does give riches. It's for the purpose of saying, hey, we're going to pull these together and build the tabernacle or the temple a place to worship me or give sacrifices or hey, set aside, some of this for the poor who are among you, his design always assumed that like we're going to serve him first and not serve our money, and that he has all of our allegiance. So it's really only when we get into the fall which will touch on next that we see that tool. That's a very good gift as being something that's used wrongly for our. Own ends. And as Emily mentioned because of the fall when Adleman eve took a hold of God's resources for their own purposes and their own gain through eating the fruit. They are banished from the garden. And now they are sent out to live in a world that's corrupted by both sin that we act out and also just a fallen world and the state that we live in and because of our sin our hearts don't want. God they want stuff or experiences or cute dresses or little bows, or soccer, balls, whatever that may be little idols that we use to replace skied. And as moms we believe we have the power to make our children happy and give them this roadmap to success. You know in society tells us that roadmap. That's that's gonna cost you money. And we're told that in order to make them good people or to make them accept it in school or to be the popular kids. Hey that cuss money too. And that is going to be expensive. He has you need to buy these closing to put them in these lessons to do all of these things and we buy into that. By thinking that our success and our goodness. As a mother is measured by our ability to give them a certain lifestyle. What's interesting is that our freedom. Our greatest good the thing that would turn us into like the best citizens of the world, the most successful people the most joyful happy children. Was it something that could be purchased with money or his created goods? God pays the greatest cost in the life and punishment of his own son. So we're we have used like armone itary resources for our gain and for our glory. God turns around and he gives his most precious sun for arcane and for his glory. So it's really interesting that he understands our need goes beyond these physical things, and he sees the needs of our hearts and like, yes. Those physical things are important, but he says seek the kingdom of God. I he is gracious to meet our needs even in lean seasons. But he wants to teach us that. Our wondering hearts will never. Ever be fully satisfied except in him. So instead of focusing on giving us stuff God gives us himself. Yes. And something else that I love is. When we get to consummation, there's going to be streets of colds foundations of precious stone Cates, a Pearl, you know, kind of the thought would be well, geez. We're going to be wanting to worship that it's going to be so beautiful looking to what we're going to be idolizing that, but even with all of the around us our hearts will finally be content will be worshiping and focusing and desiring only God because we're going to fully see his presence, and we're going to fully see his glory, and it'll sort me laughable that we ever desired anything else in this life. So we'll finally fully live out that first commandment love the larger God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your might. Praise. The lord. So just to keep this conversation moving towards a little bit more practical principles again, knowing that like, there's no way we can cover all the ideas in this show. A few principals would be first off that Christ is the greatest treasure will ever have. And it was a bit. Like, I'm saying it to little tug crazed treasure you ever have. But it's true for us to and it's something we need to take hold up. And remember in the gospels in Matthew thirteen we see this parable of the hidden treasure. And Jesus talks about the kingdom of God. Being like this treasure hidden in a field and win. This man finds it. He sells everything he has to go by this field because the most precious thing is there. And so I think that is true of our lives to that whenever we realized the value of Christ. We can really elevate him above all the other earthly treasures that. We have. Yeah. So as some practical takeaways just remembering that this starts with us. Us. You know, making sure is our treasure truly crisis. That what our kids are seeing? What what would they say? If we asked them as we're communicating our values to our children. Let's make sure that we're encouraging them to hope in Christ alone, not in their achievements or the Wardley things that money can buy and no matter what just remember that. You can have that treasure of Christ's, no matter how much is in your Bank account and just a little side note. I've noticed a great time to do that is like at birthday parties or after Christmas when they've gotten a lot of new stuff, and they are still not satisfied. You're like guess what you just got all the things you ever wanted. And you are still not happy. Where do you think that is? And it leads to a great conversation about how none of that stuff is ever really going to satisfy them. Good. Mom truth right there. That's a great. Great. Great practical nugget things throwing it out there. Okay. So another principle that we see is everything belongs to God. We are stewards of the things that he's given us, you know, psalms and proverbs talks about this a lot the earth and everything in the world and its inhabitants belong to the Lord honor the Lord with your possessions and with the first produce of your entire harvest. So when we think about Stewart, it's someone who uses and wisely cares for something that belongs to someone else. We're just holding onto it. And as we talked about previously. God is the one who cast the vision and designs how we should be using our money. So in the bible, he's asked us to use our resources to support the spread of the gospel. So that's church in missionaries to help the poor. The widow the vulnerable and to love others and invest well for the game of the kingdom. Yeah. So I know like as I hear these things I immediately kind of clinch up and start to question every single spending habit. I have so there's a lot of room for person. No conscience here for working this out in community working this out with your own husband. But just for the mom who's listening? A takeaway would be just to ask questions and say like do my purchases and the lifestyle that I'm building reflect God's desire for his kingdom. The scary question and again like beyond the same page with your husband. I think that that is a really difficult conversation to have at times. But it's important like when you see that red flag often times, I know my husband this fall. In fact, he goes are you planning on buying anymore? Clothes this fall because I feel like there's been a lot coming in lately. And it was a really gentle way of reminding me, Emily, you have enough let's done, and we moved on and invite him more. Okay. And last the last principal the only things that lasts. Our god. His word has people. This is really helpful for me in all of life, not just money, but God cautions us against falling in love with certain lifestyles or a certain image things at the world Tout's as significant. So if you're anything like me can kind of get caught up in that Instagram worthy living feeling like I need as I said, some, you know, cute, new fall Turney close or that. I wanna have oh this great meal for dinner tonight and needs to be these type of ingredients or these are the new toys for Christmas. And a lot of times those things as we chase after them in our hearts and our minds. They're taking us away from our love of God. And we're not recognizing what really matters. What is eternal? God his word and has people. So just some good takeaway questions for this is just to evaluate like, what am I spending choices show about what I love in just asking that question like ama- investing primarily in the things that are going to last for eternity. What am I in love with is it that being trendier having these toys, or is it furthering God's mission in his kingdom. So we know there are like many many more things that could be said on this topic. But we really hope this is just a small start to get conversations started. Whether it's with your husband at home, or maybe in a small group with your local church or just other moms that you meet and talk about the gospel wit to discuss like how to our heart shape, but we spent. Yeah. And as a response, I mean, we're hopeful that you're willing to ask yourself the hard questions. I think money is one of those uncomfortable topics that we sort of just all want to squirm away from when we feel the pressure on or maybe some conviction or some guilt with the way that we've been spending our money. And so we. I hope that you're willing as Emily said like to discuss these things, and then maybe take action and just remember that the pebble says, no man can serve two masters. You cannot serve both God and money. So we hope that just scratches the surface for you guys. And that there are some good reminders that everything. We have belongs to the Lord, and we are to glorify him with what we have. So you can find more about this. I've risen motherhood dot com or find us on Instagram Facebook and Twitter at risen motherhood. Thanks for joining us guys.
California mom works to support youth climate movement
"I'm doctor. Anthony License and this is climate connections. Abeille of Nevada city. California has long been worried about global warming. When she became a mom she felt even more troubled about the planet. Her sons would inherit. I'm extremely concerned about the future. Sure of my boys so lease determined to speak out about the need for climate action and to empower her sons to do the same. She says she teaches them. He something so you don't like with the government. If that is something that you don't like in your community is something that you don't like in your school you have the right to speak up to elevate the voices of young people. LEIA's help support three youth climate strikes in our town. She works on behind the scenes tasks such as getting permits from the police. And arranging for microphones and speakers. She wants to help. Young People Take Center stage my son. He's ten years old and he wrote a speech and he spoke in front of CD whole she says. He was undeterred by the large audience and was resolved to do his part like mom. We need to speak up. So do you know that. He's a silver lining. I need a scary topic but I feel like my cates embracing them to really be part of the solution Climate connections is produced by the Yale Center fern buyer mental communication learn more at Yale Connections Dot Org.
Monitor Show 14:00 07-11-2020 14:00
"If trying to figure out the future of your business is keeping you up at night. Are you seeing it? Come back at all? At least you have company? What do you make of the most recent virus headlines How should Labor respond hyping to get political pressure experts information breaking news all day all night everywhere. Do you expect the euro to continue to strengthen? Why even have this hearing Bloomberg radio the Bloomberg? Business Happened Bloombergradio. Dot Com Bloomberg. The world is listening. Or a day at Bloomberg dot com on the Bloomberg business APP and Bloomberg dictate. This is Bloomberg radio now a global news update. Florida's Spike helping American's I'm Anne cates. Florida's stepping up efforts to battle. It's covid nineteen outbreak with more than eighty thousand people tested today. Governor Rhonda Center says Moore Younger Floridians getting infected. Cases are in that between fifteen and. Fifty, four which as you can see? Those are not the age groups that are producing. Significant fatalities in fact if you're if you're under fifty five and you don't have significant comb or abilities POW touting rate for this is incredibly incredibly low. You look that seventy five and plus eighty five plus the those were the ball of the. Case. Walt Disney World in Orlando has reopened after nearly four months with new rules in place to help prevent the spread of Corona, virus correspondent. Natasha Chen reports. Lot of people are telling me. At least locals are telling me. They actually feel safer in the theme parks there versus the grocery stores in that area, and that's because there are serious new protocols. Today's the first public.
Help! | Communication Changes
"Let's pray together. Father God is we. Open your word this morning. We ask that you will indeed communicate with us that you will speak to us that you show us how you want to live our lives how you want us to be involved old in your mission in your story in the world and we are present your name so this morning morning. We're looking at Hebrews chapter one if you want to turn to that in your Bibles Hebrews Chapter One and the first four verses and going onto chapter to to look at versus five to twelve and that means we're starting at age twelve zero one if you picked up one of our bibles on your way in this morning Hebrews one versus one to four and then to leave versus five to twelve and the very observant amongst you will notice. We haven't got message notes this morning because instead we've switched to the going deeper Devotional that you can take away at the end of the meeting. If you get grapevine grapevine by email then they will drop into your box mailbox at about quarter past twelve. And if you don't get emails and you can take paper copy on your way out just something that means that you can look back over these words from God's words in the coming week have you noticed how much communication has changed over the years. Even the years that we belie- being alive the communication has changed so much. But we'll go right back to the beginning at the beginning. We believe that we communicated with each other by grunting. Now has to be said if we're honest that there's still a few of us who go a bit neanderthal before office coffee in the morning and we still grunted each each other. But that's how we started. Then we began to form words and speech and we communicated with each other in that way and then we'd started us a Ram's Horn so that we could talk to more people at once. Rather than just a few people around us we could actually communicate with crowds then we learned to come up with symbols that symbolize the words that we were speaking so that we can actually write down and what we were communicating and we started to put those things into writing then. We had to adapt various natural resources to help us write right those things down so we came up with stone and clay and papyrus and pouch moment and then onto paper those of us who are a bit for both talk a lot we then I had to change those into tablets and scrolls that he could get lots of words on that equipment and we kind of ramble online not for a bit until the printing press came along and that changed everything because it meant that we could mass communicate with people and things things kind of stayed the same kind of hundreds of years really right up until the telegraph which was invented in eighteen. Thirty seven not the newspaper but the machine and the typewriter which came along in eighteen sixty eight and then along came Alexander Graham Bell. He was able to communicate with his assistant assistant across the room. And say come over to me having invented the telephone and then very quickly after that came things like the phonograph. Radio silent silent movies talkies television cassette tape recorder some of you young people as a cassette tape recorders. What on Earth they then along longtime electric typewriter and cordless phones and then came the personal computer that we could control all that control US depending on your point of view on the software that came along with it and everything changed again? I'm very quickly. After that came the Internet and the World World Wide Web and everything changed again and then came smartphones lady iphone and everything changed again. There was a time in human communication indication where the only people that you could communicate. Were with people that were in shouting distance of you now we can Kinda Swipe a few keys. He's in practice end and we can communicate with people the other side of the world just a brief history of communication changes that we have seen in the life of humanity over the years and it seems to have accelerated in the last few years years. But we've missed one. We've missed some very important aspect of communication Qassam one. Sorry some nineteen versus one to four say these words the heavens declare the glory. Of God's I'm a sky above proclaims his handiwork day today pause out speech and night tonight reveals knowledge. There is no speech are their words. whose voice is not heard? Their voice goes out through all the words to the end of the world's in them. He has set a tent for the Sun. The psalmist tells us that we have a God who speaks. We have a God who communicates cates with us who reveals himself to US and the Cosmos declares his eloquence. Now you know that if you've ever gone out and looked at the night sky guy you might have to get out of basingstoke to be able to see it probably because of all our artificial lights. Although I don't know if any of you have ever been up late enough to notice that they switch some some of the lights off. Now I can remember coming back from a hospital visit in the summer and turning into a very dark around here and having to try and find my way around my front door so sometimes if you go out into the night sky and you look you can see that God is speaking to us through the cosmos it declares the necessity of a creator. God the scientists tell us if there were just one or two things that were just awful over if the if the world was tilted that slightly different angle off it was slightly closer to the sun. Then we wouldn't exotics the cosmos declares the necessity of our creator. God who communicates with us but as we thought about a little bit earlier with my object lesson of the football football gods communication has changed over time and the writer to Hebrews reminds us of that in these words major runs GonNa come and read to us. Hebrews Chapter One verses one to four and then to versus five to twelve Hebrews one in the past God spoke to our forefathers us through the prophets many times and in various ways but in these last days he has spoken to us by his son whom he appointed heir of all things and through whom he made the universe. The Sun is the radiance of God's glory and exact representation represents Asian of his being sustaining all things by his powerful world word after he had provided purification for sins. His sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in Heaven so he became as much superior to the angels as the name he has inherited is superior uperior and Hebrews to it. It is not to angels that he subjected the world to come about which we are speaking but there is a place where someone has testified. What is man that you are mindful of him the son of man that you care for him you made him a little lower than the angels? You crowned him. I'm with glory and honor and put everything under his feet in putting everything under him. God left nothing that is not subject to him yet. At present we do not see everything subject to him but we see Jesus who was made a little lower than the angels now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone everyone in bringing many sons glory it was fitting that God. For whom and through whom everything exists should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are the same family so Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers. He say's I will declare your name to my brothers in the presence of the congregation. I will sing your praises. So the writer of this letter starts with God's communication in the passed in first one. He says long ago at many times in many ways God spoke to our fathers by the prophets. Right back back at the beginning of time. God communicated I calling everything into existence. Let there be. Light are the first words that God speaks and he continues to speak through recreation. If you go out into nature and he'd take a walk somewhere maybe in one of our the parks or along a river or if you can get to the beach and you can go and see the see all of those things we can see that God is speaking to us through creation. He wants to grab grab our attention particularly in autumn. I think US Stop Change Calorie and we get caught by our. Wow look at the color a rematch treat. God is trying to grab our attention. He wants to speak to us to communicate with us. He has something to say to us. Sometimes we're tempted because the story of creation says that God rested on the seventh day that that was kind of you know after that he put his feet up and he stopped being creative but when we look round creation we can see that God continues to be creative even today and in his communication. Listen to us. He continued to be creative. And the rights of the Hebrew says that having been creative three creation and speaking to US communicate in two three creation he then began to speak through human representatives and these representatives of the profits fits began to reveal all that they had learned about God so much so they became God's mouthpiece quite often when we read in the WPRO prophets it says God said was the Prophet speaking the words of God communicating with us from God. And because visit that we can continue to trust those words today and God was creative. In the way that he communicated through those prophets and so for Isaya Lia- he gave him visions for Jacob. It was a dream. Abraham and Moses actually had personal almost face to face conversations with God old Jeremiah. He learned about God through object lessons like the potter. And the clay and Hosea while he was taught about God through his marriage. which all of this shows God's loving desire to communicate to his people in so many different and varied ways and as we read through the Old Testament we see that? God's communication with God speaking to us is never dull. It's never boring. It's never inscrutable. We can understand. Stand it and it's never irrelevant. It's always for such a time as this for the situation that goes people found themselves in at the time. Climb that God was communicating to them. I'm also amazing about this. Communication is that it's progressive that as we read through the Prophets. We see God revealing more and more of himself becoming more revelatory becoming more communicative with his people. But we also begin to realize as we read through the Prophets. This communication from God was never going to be complete goes communication with his people creates an expectation in them that the more was to come that there was yet more revelation to come and so the prophets beginning to speak of Messiah. This person would come and reveal God in full four and so the writer to the Hebrews says in the second person the next person but in these last days he has spoken to us by his son he may appoint to the era of all things. Through whom also he created the world and sending his son To communicate with US everything changed. God's communication with US changed overnight. Jesus is the ultimate speech of off. God hears the word made flesh. He is God's final and complete word to humanity. He contains everything there is nice to know. About God's he's the ultimate medium of Communication God. The father wrote himself into the life life of his son and like God. The Father Christ has always sought to reveal himself. We can know Christ nice by reading about him and communicating with him. When we meet with Jesus Christ what is the result we meet? God's we meet God and he communicates with us well so much for God's Pa in this what is our part in this well the writer to the Hebrews issues us with challenge this morning and he issued issued a challenge to the people that he was writing within the writing to in the first place. They were small group of Christians in Rome of all places the center if the secular universe and they were there and they were jeering suffering and ridicule imprisonment and confiscation of their property and and at the time the writer to the Hebrews was writing. Emperor Niro had just come to the throne and they were in a situation where they felt that they were about to face the ultimate test. Would they be prepared to die for their faith because that looked as though that was the way that Nero was going. And in all of this for the writer to the Hebrews it seemed as if God was silent as if God it was not communicating with them and so they ask those questions that the some of the songs these songs saying to US earlier and the we sometimes say when we find ourselves in difficult circumstances where is God in all of this doesn't even know what's going on has he. Lost sight of us doesn't need care. Why easy allowing this this persecution by the Roman authorities to take a place? I don't know about you but if I was to find myself in that situation where I was facing persecution from the authoritarian artesian and perhaps even facing death my temptation would be to turn away from the faith. Well if if God is no longer communicating with this particularly in the midst of suffering. Well then what's the point. What's the point? In following this his faith and into that situation the writer to the Hebrews writes these words in chapter two verse one therefore now first of all we have to know what the therefore is and that's the preceding words from chapter one that Jesus is the ultimate communication action of God. He's been made a little lower than the angels is being raised to Heaven to sit at the right hand of God and therefore I four because of that we must pay much closer attention to what we've heard lest we drift away from the writer to the Hebrews challenge to those people so those Christians and that very very difficult situation in Rome was remember. Christ's Christ's teaching remember God's communication to you through. Jesus Christ remember the Christian message what you have over the years this and we encourage them. Challenge them even not to drift away from Christ and to pay yet much closer attention to so what they heard. How can we drift in our Christian faith? Well there are lots of different ways. We can become callous or complacent in our devotion to Christ. It can just be not as devoted as as we once were. We can fall back into those simple habits that we thought we'd beaten and left behind. It's very easy to fall back into those. Yes we can compromise morals. We can disobey Christ's teaching we. Can we can hear. Jesus Christ say love your enemies this forgive those who persecute you but decide not wants to follow that teaching or we can become inactive Christians which ought to be an oxymoron inactive Christians that are inactive Christians but we can begin to neglect forms of Christian service. I don't know if you've ever noticed this. But drifting away as easy as anybody ever made a real effort to drift away from something Nar it's easy. It just happens naturally sometimes. We didn't even know that it's happening breath. Paying close attention is more difficult. We can't just do that naturally after work back to play. He close attention to walk on his communicating to us. So we have to work. We have to make an effort to pay careful attention to a fake and to be prepared against that temptation to just drift without really thinking about it. You mean communicating and with Christ means. Listening doesn't mean just talking to him but it means listening and then it means obeying and taking action about what we hear. God's word came to a living breathing human being his son and his son can reinvigorate our vision of God's it can bring us new communication a new revelation new creative speaking to us and reinvigorate our vision of God's Jesus Christ can remind us the God who is so great that we cannot turn away from him that we cannot drift away from him. But instead we choose to willingly surrender under to him when we allow God we allow. Jesus Christ to reinvigorate our vision of God's then we will love and obey Christ with the egg and longing desire the heat is and in the end that is the great communication change. The God is longing to see from us that we will love and obey Christ with the eager and longing desire the he deserves. It takes hard work to do that consistently system during our human journey and not just to let ourselves drift on occasions. We're going to sing together. Asong four hundred thirty in the words will be on the screen which says life is a journey long is the road and and how however long that road is we need consistently make a choice to love and to obey Christ and to pay careful attention to what he communicates to us US rather than allowing ourselves to drift and in a second birth life is a seeking. Life is a quest seeking after that God communicates with US Eager Longing Desire unto the truth things unto the best guard. Our spirits. Aspire if you've failed than the need to respond this morning or if God is prompting you at this time. Maybe he's communicating with you right at this moment. I I need you to respond on editors bond publicly this morning. Then this place of prayer is is open. You can come and kneel at it you can come and stand at it you can sit on it. I really don't mind as as long as you respond to walk. God is saying to you if you want to come and communicate with him and listen to him. Communicate with you on your own and bring something thing in your hand. But if you'd like one of us to come alongside you and speak with you and speak to go out on your behalf. Then come empty-handed and we'll do that but let's sing this psalm together. The weather's date an require a draw the water of life. Uh Yeah mm-hmm mm-hmm uh. Aw The song Ah MM-HMM in
Women on Wall Street
"Welcome to the powering independence, podcast insights ideas for RIA's presented by dynasty financial partners a podcast dedicated to sharing some of the best practices fresh thinking, and new perspectives in the independent wealth management, industry, your host for today's episode is Ed Friedman director at dynasty financial partners. Welcome to dynasties powering independence podcast. I'm your host for today's episode Ed Friedman, and the topic that we're going to be delving into today is women on Wall Street, when socks tell the story and we'll come back to that title in a minute and give you a little bit of an explanation, but over my thirty years on Wall Street, it's become quite clear to me that we have an issue, and I think that is a diversity issue, and I'm not sure whether it is a supply or demand issue. I don't know if we are just as an industry, not making ourselves attractive to women or if it's demand issue, meaning women just aren't thinking about our business on a large enough scale to be attracted to the industry. I happen to believe that it's the former issue that we're not doing as an industry, good enough job, attracting women and making ourselves tractive to women as a career but to help me on pack that issue today. We have a fabulous group of panelists and I'd like to. Introduce them. I we have Sally Cates. Sally is director public relations and communications at dynasty financial partners. Sally is a senior communications leader in the wealth management industry. Having started her career at CBS news and ultimately, led global communications city group for eleven years prior to joining dynasty, so Sally. Good morning and welcome happy to be here next. We have Kathy Saunders. Kathy is a managing director Putnam, investments and is the head of the client engagement center, leading Putnam's innovative client Centric internal consulting team. Most recently Cathy was the head of Putnam czar a business. We also have, and I'm thrilled to have with us, Michelle Smith. Michelle began her Wall Street careers. A financial advisor Merrill, Lynch and is currently the founder and CEO source financial advisers based right here in New York City. Michelle is also a certified divorce financial analyst and is considered one of the top divorce specialists in the country. Michelle is also the creator of the wife to CEO educational program, and has also co founder of the ideal school and academy, the first only independent inclusion school in New York City. So Michelle, welcome. Great to be here. And we also have last, but not least penny Phillips penny after a decade of working with financial advisers institutions on practice management, penny is quickly becoming one of the most sought after consultants a keynote speakers in the wealth management industry. Penny is the founder of thrive consulting and prior to starting her own coaching, and consulting firm, penny developed the practice management program at New York life and worked in similar capacity at investment. So penny. Good morning, I'm gonna actually penny. I turn to you, because you have a direct connection to our title today. Women on Wall Street when socks tell a story and to kind of t that up and I'm going to turn it over to penny and a second. We were running a program, interestingly enough at Putnam offices. Up in Boston a little while back and I was fortunate enough to have dinner with penny the night before, as well as Joan by name jed. More from Putnam. And I was talking with penny about this issue. Do we really have a problem on Wall Street isn't an old boys network? I and penny. Very quickly said yes, it is. And we'll get into that and a little bit. And then we had a really great discussion about what it might take to change. And, and we'll touch on those topics and a little bit will the next morning when I was presenting at this program. I actually recounted our discussion at dinner and really related the story about whether we're still an old boys network and what it's going to take to change. And at the end of that I turned it over to penny for her presentation, and one of our co sponsors for the event at all of the programs gives out as swag, a very interesting item. I'll just leave it at that. And from here, I'm gonna turn it over to penny to fill finish the discussion, first of all, thanks for having the ad honored to be here. It, you know, I never would've thought that, that one moment in time would spark this panel and such an interesting discussion around women in the industry. So I you know, I done my presentation, and we had that great conversation, the night before about women and the diversity issue in our industry, and I was looking down at this Chachi that, that, you know, the partner firm was handing out for the event and, you know, in that moment, you know, me, I can speak off the cuff. Sometimes I lifted that item. And it was a pair of men's dress socks really nice para socks by the way, and, you know, I lifted them up to the audience, and that was a believe all mail except for one lovely lady in the back and I said, you know if if you want more women to see themselves in. This industry if you want them to imagine their career pathway here, then you may want to start marketing, some of your items to be more women friendly. These are men's dress socks. I could never wear these ox. The other lovely lady in the room, she's probably never gonna wear these socks either. And so it's not just that women. Don't view themselves in this career path. I think it's subconsciously some of the leaders of these organizations. Don't see women as their clients or leaders in their organizations, either. And that's kind of the issue and then I drop the mic or the socks and, and walked up. And by the way, I mentioned this earlier, I still have the socks I told you I was gonna give them to my father. But I'm gonna keep them now as a as a trophy, thank you for sharing the story. I mean just for the record. I love this. Program because I wanted another pair, but it wasn't white male. Well, okay. Thank you very much. Yes. Thank you. But your, your point that you made, I thought was so poignant and kind of encapsulated what we're gonna be talking about. Because while I really did kind of look forward to the stocks and I have multiple pairs of them and collect the leftovers in every one of the programs. It never hit me that the message that it was sending the subliminal message. Nets the broader discussion is, is that the message that we're still sending in how do we kind of, of change that Kathy turning to you? I think your journey, if you will, to Wall Street was was kind of interesting because when we were talking about this earlier. Where you started your career and how you got the Putnam, and you spent your entire career on Wall Street at Putnam. If you kind of tell that story because I think it also touches on how the world has changed in that timeframe. Absolutely well for stuff. I'll Maher what penny said and it's, it's great to be here. No, offense said, but and to any of the, the panelists here this morning, but my career goal has been to put podcasts and events like this out of business. And my hope that this is that this one is one additional step forward in in towards that goal. That's for sure. But I never pictured myself, homo street, actually, but back in the early eighties after I graduated from college and keep in mind was very different economic time at, at that moment. The Dow Jones was somewhere around fifteen hundred. If I'm not mistaken, a few of us in the room will remember that interest rates were double digits unemployment, even higher than that. We couldn't be more different arena from a market perspective now but. I worked for a company by the name of Western Union electric mail, and our job was to market overnight, mail grams. Which, by the way, at that time was technology doesn't seem like much of technology today, but it just so happened that my responsibility was to call on financial firms and technology firms inside one twenty eight which is the, the road that circles, the urban area in Boston Putnam, actually was one of my clients, and I might add for any of the Putnam, people who might listen to this podcast. They gave me absolutely no business at all. But I maintained a relationship with gentlemen, who headed our marketing and communications area. They had a fire in their building, which was tragic, actually. And they called me because we were experts at Western Union on on crisis communications. So I finally they called me after I was dripping on them for years and years and years called me into a room and I did a presentation. They wave me in just as I entered the room they said. Kathy. Thanks so much, just as Sunday night, by the way, I'd commuted in about forty five minutes to get there. I walked into a room all men, by the way dressed in casual. Clothes drinking, cokes eating some refreshments. And that type of thing when I walked in the room, they said, Cathy, no. It made a decision to go with your competitor MCI at the time. And I said, you know what I can understand that? But tell you what can be five minutes. Let me give you quick presentation. And see if there's any opportunity here, so I delivered a presentation. I told him about some of the projects we had done in the past some of, you might remember the Tylenol recall, which we were responsible for we executed on that. So I literally get a five minute presentation said, can I have your business and they said, absolutely? And I was so stunned. I'd never written in order for as much as I'd gotten out of the room that day. And when I walked out of the room, a guy came up to me and said, would you like to work at ever wanna work at Putnam? And I said, not after this order, that's for sure. But as it turned out, they came in and recruited me the people in that room or the CEO and other. Operating committee members if I had known that I would have been petrified, so I'm glad I didn't, but I started working and they said very quickly, if you make a commitment to us will make a commitment to you, that was thirty two years ago and it's been a great journey. So, so it's incredible. And for half of our audience, they probably don't even know what at telegram is or electron Graham in this day and age of communication. So a lot has changed in those thirty two years from your perspective in vantage point, have you seen a change in our industry in particular as it relates to diversity, and, and the views if you will? And, and where do we have to go? I have, and I know this is going to be a very spirited conversation. And I would just start by saying that as it relates to diversity overall, it doesn't take too long of walk outside of your house to run into bias of some sort, right? Whether it's out in your community, whether it's in the workplace or or what have you. But I do think that our industry. Sorry has changed quite a bit in this domain. And by the way, we aren't the only industry faces this challenge you can go to Silicon Valley. You can go to banking, you can go to investment banking, you can go to a variety different places, and I think a lot of different firms allot digit, different industries face the same challenges. But having said all that, you know, I would share just a brief story about ten years ago, I found the person who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and she actually ran money at, at Putnam at the time, and it was very clear to me that it was time for me to be more transparent and open with my dear friend, and also my boss. And my other colleagues who had worked with for gosh, nearly half my life. So I was in San Francisco at the time had been there on a eighteen basically eighteen year assignment and I call my boss and I told him I I needed to talk him. I was willing to fly to Boston to do it to our headquarters. He said, you know, I'm going to aboard meeting out in Los Angeles. You have time to catch up with me. Then I said, absolutely would love to do that. So. It was at the then hide hotel avenue, the stars in century city. So we met for dinner and I went to the bathroom to do my preparation for, for the conversation, and it three cards in front of me. One card was with kind of the message of what I wanted to tell him the second card was a whole list of other subjects that I could talk about if I wanted to pull the Ripcord talk about the weather. Traffic's like that. And third thing was just a very brief resignation pitch that I had so I carried all three. So I could give it to wherever the conversation was going to go and desert came, and I still have the courage to tell them. What was going on? Finally, I said Bill, Bill Connolly's his name, by the way, who I've worked had the pleasure and honor of working with for the last fifteen years. I said, Bill, I wanted to know that I found the person I want to spend the, the rest of my life with and her name is and the conversation went on from there, within five minutes of, of getting it out on the table. Able he picked right up without hesitation and said, Cathy, I gotta tell you. I'm so happy for you. Now tell me how can I help? That was ten years ago. Bill Connolly is five foot nine fifty six years old offense of linemen from Dartmouth College football team. Graduated undergrad from Dartmouth tuck graduate school can drink Budweiser or Chardonnay, but prefers the former can quote safe Shakespeare and do bond math all at the same time this business has changed. And you know, as it relates to this issues, I think there are a lot of different firms with a lot of different approaches out there. They're firms that no it's happening as it relates to the issues going on with diversity, and they are hoping it goes away their firms that are out there that know it's happening in her talking about it. They're firms out there that are that know it's happening and are actually doing something. About it, and then they're fewer firms still that are using it as an opportunity to lead. And that's exactly what we're doing a Putnam. I know we'll talk about that a little bit later on. Absolutely. And that was a great story. Thank you for for sharing it. So to that point in a lot of what I'm hearing is kind of the messaging, right? And Sally is, is certainly an expert on messaging and, and putting that word out there in Sally, what I found interesting, especially in the context of some of the current news today is the fact that you started your career at CBS news. That's CBS news with some of the headlines recently, whether it was, Charlie rose, less Moonves were others. There's been a lot of discussion, whether that was a bit of a toxic environment. I know having started there. You certainly have some thoughts about it. So if you touch on that, and touch on this idea of what we as an industry, from a messaging perspective have to either change or adopt to become an attractive destination. Not only for. Women, but others of diversity, thanks that in what a great topic for us to be addressing today. Yeah. I spent five years at CBS news and we've all I'm sure read some of the stories and it was exactly that way. When I worked there, I mean, just outrageous behavior to the point where there was no one to report it to because the head of the division was one of the worst offenders. So as a woman, you just felt constantly under attack literally running away, physically running away, you know, trying to get away from these predatory men. So after five years of that, you know, I came to Wall Street and everyone said, oh, it we must see such, you know, sexism would've talks of environment, and frankly coming from CBS news. It, it didn't seem that bad to me because it was used to just a horrific very destructive kind of environment. But so on Wall Street, you know, I'd say, I'm sure like every woman here in the room, I was used to being the only woman at the table on the. Mitty. So you're used to used to feeling underestimated. And I think that's you get in place where you over deliver and you have to be so much better in order to get the same treatment to get the promotion just having to prove yourself again. And again, again, so, you know, I'm hoping things are getting better. I think they are getting better as there's more of a recognition that the industry is going to be better if there's more inclusion I mean, there's, you know, they're range of different clients women people of all, genders, people of all different makeup. So why on earth, wouldn't the industry reflect that in terms of the advisers and the people on the industry side? You know, one of the things optics talk about the socks. I just see even on linked in photo after photo of all white men playing golf, you know, it just seems like gosh, it just looked so out of date and out of touch. Maybe it's time that some of these firm. Start thinking about how they're presenting themselves in public when I was at city group, you know, again, I you know, managed do well there, but, you know, my first pregnancy, you know, after three weeks, I got a coal saying that somebody was taking my job away that they were telling them that I that they had they had picks were sitting in my seat doing my job. And if I didn't come back immediately, the job, wouldn't be there. So I had to race back and then found out that a number of the man in my department, it's spreading rumor I wasn't coming back. So that kind of, you know, at a time when you're just recovering from having a child, and then kind of under attack by your firm, you know, it just the lack of support was pretty shocking. You know, I do think that wouldn't happen today, I think they're now procedures and policies in place. But I think the industry, and I'm sure penny can speak to this could do a much better job talking to especially younger, female employees. About what a fantastic industry. It hasn't certainly Michelle can address this. What a fantastic career for somebody wants a family. I mean you know, once you have a certain level of success. You've got flexibility, you can create your own schedule. One of the top producer, I knew it at city took off every summer and, you know, just took the entire two and a half months off dispend with their children was reachable, but she was out of the office for two and a half months. We all knew that. And she was a number one producer, so you can do it. I think the industry needs to make a better effort in terms of doing that outreach and presenting themselves externally to make themselves more appealing to two women wonderful and turning them show for a moment. It's a shame show. I've had the great fortune now of knowing you for about five years, six years or so. It's always been a disappointment to me that you're not passionate about anything. With that being said, I've always considered you a pioneer in our industry because you come from pioneering family, and I think it's a great story if you could tell a little bit about your background, but also what drew you to the, to the business was very specific reason, and we're you are an in source. So what drew me to the business was my mother, and that is somewhat rare. My mom was a broker at Merrill Lynch in the late seventies. And she entered the business because she was in the middle of her second divorce from my stepfather, and she was she graduated college with her masters in special education. So she was a teacher because that's what you did. When you're born in nineteen forty two, you were a teacher or a nurse and especially coming from a Sicilian, family. She's lucky she was allowed to work because even when I got my first job at Merrill, Lynch, my grandma. Father looked at me and said how cute machine hasn't briefcase mission. Right. Was like so not. So my mom my cousin at the time was running government securities at Merrill. My mom was managing my stepfather shoe store opened a second location, opened nursery school, and was raising my brother and I and my stepfather's four daughters. All of this at once in the seventies still making baseball games little league and whatnot. So he said to her, you need to figure out how to make money you need to have a job where you can create your own economic independence, without depending on other people for a salary and a bonus. And you need to come interview at Merrill, Lynch long story short, she did I worked with her during the summers. I quickly realized that the this nece and the job if you're on the advisory, and it was not justification math that you. Had to be great at you had to learn it. Of course, you had a depend on really smart people with economic backgrounds. But it took me I wish I, I wish now I could talk to myself, then because a lot of what I believe make somebody successful in this business is complete self honesty and self reflection and everybody has to figure out there superpower in life. But as an adviser you have to know that we are all in the business of monetize ING personalities. That's what this is. Think about that conversation with women versus please enter the business into our training program become a financial advice. It's so different when you say who's your group who do you influence who's your? So how do we monetize you Inc? And when I really got that I could be better at this than anybody. In my vertical sleeve. It's when I doubled tripled before that I was very stuck at seventy five million AM. I was looking around my Merrill, Lynch and my Paine Webber in my walkover offices, constantly saying, why are they doing so much better than me? I know as smart, but I actually know that I'm more bag network. I love public speaking. I know that I'm great at seminars and attracting, and until I really figured out how to monetize my personality. My business did not change, and it took people that watched me in my branch namely a branch manager. Who got it? That sat me down and said pick one idea because you have ten great ones day. Pick one great one align it with you and go for it and all support that. And so, you know, my mom and I had this joke back at Merrill, every conference we went to. We would go to the ladies room and the toilet paper was still folded in a little triangle, because there were no men. There are no women using the ladies room. None. No line no line. Now at least there's a little line. I don't rarely I rarely get a triangle, folded. So there's a more volume but you know there's a. You can say something, and it's not aligned with your energy, and my best advice to anybody listening that wants to attract women develop women retain women in finance is you better beware of your energetic Iral, because women are intuitive beings. We are way more emotionally intelligent than men. We pick up on body language. We pick up on cues. We watch people's reactions. I can tell what you're thinking. And if you really have faith in me or not by just your energy and how your stiffening your body, you have to be aware of not only what you believe your top layer culture, is, okay, great. Yeah. Forty percent women employed at your company. Gina how they feel do they believe that you trust them as a leader. Are they just place holders? Are they just millennial women? Millennial women are very different and have different power balance than senior women. And what we. All been through so beware the energetic. I roll beware. You have shadow culture and that shadow culture is not female friendly. You have to even watch how you're presenting something to a client. If I see one more hunting, or fishing analogy. I'm going to trip somebody when you're presenting to a female RIA get rid of the hunting and fishing analogies. Right. So it's the, the little daily stuff. It's the energetic Iral, which is very subtle in passive aggressive. But women pick up on this. It's super important to really look at this and test for it in your culture. Those are great thoughts. Not not. I'm actually corner now. Title this when toilet paper tell the story. I would have been there, but to your last point Michelle, and I'm going to turn to penny. Now, you written references millennial woman and penny is certainly the embodiment of, of both. She is a successful, energetic smart woman, but also kind of fills that millennial role as well. So penny Turney did you always wanna come onto Wall Street? And, and if you did, how did you kind of make that first entree, you know, it's, it's interesting question, because the answer is, you know, I didn't know I relate to so much of what Michelle said, I come from a Greek family of Greek immigrants, and so no one in my family worked on Wall Street, or wasn't business or head any, you know, white collar job, we were, you know, small business owners diners. Some, some of us but, you know small businesses. But I vividly remember being a young girl, and I have an older sister, and while she was playing with dolls and lining them up and pretending to be a kindergarten teacher, which she now is I was ruffling papers and pretending to make deals, haven't whatever that meant and remember, cousins lived in bay ridge Brooklyn, and we do the drive from Queens, New York, and I'd see the city building CitiBank, building in Long Island city. And I remember always thinking I have to work on the highest floor of that building, sue somewhere. It was in me to do something in this business. But I didn't know what that was, and it wasn't until I went into college. And like Michelle, I do don't mind, a public speaking. And so I would do a lot of speaking and someone in the audience at one of my speeches said, you know, you should go into sales, and it was the CEO of New York life, size Sternberg, if you're listening, thank you so much. But he, he introduced me into. My career. And so I started in sales for mainstay investments which was a subsidiary of near life and my career quickly went down the consulting path, which obviously still in today. But, you know, I think what I what I did have an why relate so much to what Michelle just said about self awareness and knowing yourself. What I did realize I have was. No fear. So I didn't really listen to the roles which worked in my favor because I followed my own path and just a determination to kind of win so that competitiveness worked really well for me. You know in the business early on and knowing that, that was only really needed, even though I didn't didn't know much about finance time, wonderful and, and welcome. We're glad you were ruffling those papers and an playing business playing teacher. Turning to the other side of the equation to Michelle's comment about millennials because I also think we as an industry or not positioning ourselves, as an attractive destination for millennials. And I know that you believe that a lot of those things that would attract millennials or the same things that would attract, you know, women to our industry. So if you can talk about that, from that perspective a little bit, I think it would be helpful. For sure. And, and Michelle and Sally have both said something that a couple of things that really struck a chord with me. So I think what we know we know this statistically, because we've pulled women and millennials and we know this information about people, but we also know it through our own experiences both women and millennials have desire think to have flexibility in the way in which they build not only their careers, but their daily life, having a work like balance is something that's meaningful to both the millennial group and the women group having the ability to collaborate with others to have experiences that rely, not only on technical knowledge, but on a motion intelligence in the Wayne, which we perceive, the world, all these things are important to both of these groups and what I believe is happening in the industry today. That's preventing both of these grew. From having full access to financial services. As a career path is firms are saying that they're welcoming to women and millennials, however, it is still an eat what you kill culture advisors. Local leadership in the field are still paid on an eat what you kill type of culture. It's still not popular to say out loud. Hey, I wouldn't mind building a career in which I can take Fridays off because I want to attend my kids soccer games. That's not popular. That's not sexy. What sexy in our industry? Still is the harder you work the more hours, you put in the more you grind yourself into the ground. The faster you run on the treadmill. The more you hate your life by the end of the day, the more successful you are. And I see this working with advisers and their teams day in and day out, and I've seen it for the past ten years, that is still the rhetoric sue firms don't start. And this is not. Going to be a popular statement. But I believe it's true if firms don't stop rewarding visors, and, you know, providing these different achievement letters base levels, rather base only on activity, rather than allowing advisors to create their own success metrics, then it's never gonna change. And so I think it's okay for women to say, you know, I wanna build my day in my path and my career differently, and it's not until firms start accepting that and shifting their own belief structures that that's actually ever going to happen and right to take that a step further as I'm sitting here. Yeah. All right. Down and feeling see one in CJ. It's making sure that within a company I don't care if it's bigger small. Yes flexibility is super important and necessary to women. But how do you then make sure you help execute strategic plan to get there in your own way. And I think strategic planning has to change and it is rhetoric. Absolutely. It is frowned upon to leave early to want to work from home. It's still frowned upon. It's still an energetic, IRA like working so hard. Guess what? I work at five thirty in the morning. And then I don't work between seven and seven forty five because I have a special needs son, and I've gotta get him energetic ready for his day. And then I'm back on the grid and then on and off the grid in my own way. But I have a strategic plan that works. For me and how I'm going to hit numbers and how I'm gonna market and how I'm going to do everything companies, and people inside companies need to figure out a different strategic planning process to help you in your own way. And Ed can I jump in for just one second and it's interesting because I think what Michelle is hitting on is urgent forty five percent of our workforce at Putnam investments millennial. If we don't get them. Shame on us. Shame on us they bring, and we couldn't be more bullish on the generation. I'm with one of our our many of the of the millennial population that we have at throw with one of them actually today. They bring a maturity that, frankly, I didn't have at their age when I entered the workforce. I didn't know what culture meant they know what culture is Michelle. I think you talked about shadow culture. They have a complete three sixty lens into the culture that's any firm. But I think the important thing is this offense alignment that both penny and Michelle just talked about what we're trying to do is make sure that they're authentically aligned in their pathway, and it could be a very untraditional pathway, but they want to be open to as many opportunities as they possibly can. So we couldn't be more bullish on the on the generation, they also need to understand the why what is the business and what is the why we're in the business that singular in focus. It's the business of changing people's lives changing people's lives, when the when they get that they get on board. Meaning retiring with dignity being able to realize philanthropic dreams educate your, your children, and turn money into meaning if they understand and body, those things every single day. They couldn't contribute more. They couldn't contribute man. Frankly, there are succession plan. We are a met. We have a major problem with advisors based on age and they are our succession plan on fifty four years old. I've got seventy percent of my company is under age thirty. They are happy. They are engaged the path to partnership frankly, I tell them, I'm fifty four do the math, when do you think I'm gonna retire nights, seventy this is for you. Everything I did wrong. Everything. I did. Right. Is right in front of you the vision that I have created for them. It's also creating a buy in for them that it's their company too, and that's making them. Bring themselves to the office very differently because I've given them the clear vision of this can be yours. Professionally developing them, encouraging them to make a lot of mistakes. It's collaborative, and it's really gotta be the they are the succession plan. Michelle, you're, you're an anomaly in this, and I'll say that because there are many, many advisors in the industry that struggle with passing on the legacy, and they do, because they are of the belief system, and I don't blame advisors for this who have who grind it on their own hunted and rain mate, as solo preneurs and built businesses. And now, they're saying look at these lazy millennials, who get to reap the benefits of everything. I worked my behind, you know, to build. And so, I think it's if we can get the founders of these firms in some way, more comfortable with the idea that the world has changed. And perhaps this next gen isn't going to have to. Work the way in which you worked, but does have the ability to really creatively takeover, your business, and build it into something really exceptional? It's that belief system specifically that has to evolve and it hasn't for a lot of advisors. Unfortunately, I was thinking the men, I think that are in some of the key positions. I don't think they have evil intent. I just think they don't understand. They're just can't relate at all. Because I think still so many of them have stay at home wives. And everything's taken care of, for of you know of their needs. And, you know, they see no issue with taking a Wednesday off in a sunny today to go play golf, but then are enraged. If a woman wants to go to our children's Christmas play. It just is kind of double standard hypocritical kind of attitude. So I think it's just a lack of a wariness there's a couple of recent articles that came out recently. They're relevant here. One is that women do three times the amount of work at home. So that is taking care of children. Taking care of the house, just in charge of everything. You know, at home three times the amount of work, and that's just not acknowledged in the workplace. You know, other articles, you know, were just talk about how men are in the wealth management business are now saying, maybe we shouldn't hire women. It's too scary. You know, there's they're concerned about, you know, feeling uncomfortable or it's just not worth dealing with it. And again, you just think that is so out of touch, their, the answer, actually for the future women amls. You know, it's the most aggravating thing to me, as a working single mother, all of a sudden, it's super cute. That dad is an engaged father leaving for the play. I've been doing that for seventeen freaking years. And all of a sudden often Agila cartwheel, because you're an engaged father, like, are you kidding me? And this is. Being put out there. Like, look, we've got these great men who are engaged fathers, and they're going to doctors appointments with their wives. Well. Good for him. Good for you. And we can't leave. Okay. As I said, again, for listeners, Michelle has not yet developed passions as, as this is a great discussion. And I think if we look at the other side of the ledger in our business, we're talking about attracting women and millennials and diverse workforce to our industry as as kind of the future. But the flip side of that ledger are the clients right statistically, about eighteen trillion dollars is going to transfer hands over the next five years, whether it is a transition from the baby, boomer, the greatest generation to gen-x or gen Y or as Michelle knows very well transferring as a result of, of divorce. And I think to all of your points unless we change our profile to the industry or those firms that would otherwise might be the recipients. Don't change their profile. We're going to have a challenge, and I think we're looking at that challenge being. King pure technology if we don't change or it's going to be those firms that, that kind of get it. So give me some thoughts around that. I'll start so two things and someone said this eloquently earlier teams in financial services need to reflect with the future holder of wealth looks like period. I mean, you know, you can't have a team of all white middle aged men, no offense at Freeman, serving clients that look and acted very differently. And I think what we know about the holder of wealth of today, moving forward is they view their wealth management needs differently than the wealth holder did in the past and Michelle ask you to comment on that. If you've seen that shift, what I've seen with teams that I work with is that the consumer of today, especially that millennial wealth holder who's going to inherit that eighteen thirty trillion and assets thinks about the today. Way more than they do about the future. And what I mean by that is the wealth holder of generations past thought about their goals from a quantitative standpoint, how do I save as much as possible? So maybe hopefully I can retire and take that vacation, when I'm sixty-five the wealth holder of today is thinking much more about how can I live life to the fullest and you're seeing this reflected in the marketing messages of firms that are talking about, you know, live for today and millennials are concerned, not with can I save so that I can go when I'm eighty they're thinking about a week break, and I go to Thailand and spend a week, hiking and wealth management, needs the way, people are viewing, what they wanted to do with their money and wealth is different. And advisors need to have folks on their team or themselves. Need to evolve to understand those needs of clients? Michelle would you agree with that? I so I do we do one thing when. Woman gets divorced so much of the divorce process. Right. And this is that h part of the eighteen trillion and a lot of the eighteen trillion because frankly all marriages end they're either going to end somebody died, or you got divorced. So you got widows and he got divorces who never dealt with their money, and they're not likely to use the former adviser because they had zero relationship with them until the divorce was announced, and now the Merrill, Lynch visors, like let me know how we can help you when they haven't spoken to you in a decade. Thank you very much, moving right along. So what, what I say women because so much of their divorce is about the assets are getting cut in half. You don't work. You don't own your you don't earn your own income. This is it. I always tell them, this is the earliest retirement plan. You're going to have because you might be getting your assets at age fifty one not retiring at sixty five so you're, you're in this kind of scarcity rapper of what you're not gonna have. And how. How how scary it is. And what I allow them to do at the end of their divorce. I say, okay, what's our splurge? With guardrails, and most of them are taking their children, their adult children on a phenomenal vacation. And they're all sending me pictures of them in their kids on that vacation, and I am giving them the permission to do that with their millennial children, and that is that is the now with the mindfulness of later as well. And the you're right. We have to help incorporate the feel-good now with the don't blow it up later, and it can be done. That's what financial planning is. The words have to change the process has to change the strict rules. The words have to be completely flipped on its head. And there's a lot in that for this business truly the industry needs to follow exactly what Michelle said I mean as an industry, we get enough for galvanizing relationships on where the money is going. It's that simple. And what a brilliant, by the way, Michelle way to do that. Brilliant. I think your points while taking I mean, or industry, which has been around for a very long time, we first started with the depression era, where you never spend anything you went through life, very skeptical you kept money under the mattress, and then each successive, generation viewed money and wealth differently, and we have had to evolve as an industry to, to kind of meet that social norm questions. Are we doing it today? And what's it going to take Sally? What I find interesting is you are the mother of two young millennial women beginning their business careers. What if any advice from all of your experience in the past of you given them, it's interesting because I obviously, worked the whole time I was raising them and, you know, you sort of wonder what the impact is going to be an each of them has come back to me, and they're now in their twenties. And they've said, we're gonna just keep on working like you, mom. And you know, if we get engaged if we get married, it may be that. Her husband's stay at home, but we're going to keep working. So you realize you leave this legacy of this work ethic and want to control their own financial future. So it's, it's quite heartening to see how ambitious and leaning in they are, and making decisions based on, you know, keeping that career going. We're, we're in a really interesting period of time. I think in our country, I was going to say at first, we're seeing a subtle cultural change. But I think when we go through this last election that occurred and the record amount of women that ran for office recommend women that one office, is that a great kick start to what we need to be doing as an industry. And can we take some examples or lessons from that going forward? It's time. Glad there's a shift. Yeah. Anything helps you know, a seat change helps you know, it does to me feel that we're at an inflection point. We hit it. But it's now what? And I hate I, I would hate for this to be sort of this overarching. Go girl, go. It's more the day to day. What are we doing to set women up for success in any industry, where there's an agenda, gender gender-bias? There's out their gender bias. What are we doing with our marketing materials with our sales pitches? With our office design, right? My female clients. Don't wanna walk in and see. Mahogany dead, white presidents and horses. They don't they wanna see coal stop. I have a Roma therapy, you walk in, you know, we share some office space, you smell orange blossom and sage it's awesome. We have factory nerves it changes your mood, people are in a panic about their money. A lot. So for me, it's kind of sensible that my office has to be set up to g escalate, not escalate. So sit in your sit in the chair that you ask your client to sit in a couple of times month. What are they looking at sit in the conference room from your clients view? What are they looking at? How do you feel if you can change that? And say wow, what am I looking at 'em? I looking at a lot of certificates of the adviser or I looking at images that are about for for my clientele. Moving forward, positively, I have different seating areas. I've got one room that's got crystals a picture on the wall, that says just breathe life goes on and accounts. Right. Sometimes we need a little time out from the serious money stuff sit in the chair that you expect physically your client to sit in what are they looking at? And what are you telling me, not add from the other? Side of women who want to get into this business, or, you know, work in the corporate side of the business self-awareness is the most underrated skill I think, and probably the most important skill you can have in this industry period end of story. And I think knowing yourself, especially as a young twenty something coming into this business ladies, who are graduating college or just exited wanna enter the business. Take extra steps to know yourself. You get into this business, and you're told immediately need a mentor you need somebody to show you the way and bring you under their wing. And I was always of the philosophy of I don't necessarily need that it would be nice if I can find somebody that could really help guide me. But I took a disc profile of anybody's disc theory. I love disc useful in my work, but I also took one for myself very early on. And it's funny, I think I'm told you this story. Ed one of the first red flags to me that I should leave specific role in organization. I was in was because I scored very differently than every single person in the room, I was in a leadership workshop, I was doing and I said to myself if I have if I score is only three percent of people do ever than I need to utilize that. And so it was much more about mean knowing myself than about anybody telling me what I should be doing. And so my, my. My advice to women would be know, yourself and have. Little to no fear of what's possible, because it really is possible, but you have to know yourself and almost doubled down on what your strengths are. And if you don't feel that you really can know yourself, yet, here's how you can find out who yourself is ask, three people that know you very well, what they would say your biggest strength, this, you're going to hear something familiar. Ask three piece. Right. And, and start to do your own self research. Right. If you're not feeling strong enough trusting of yourself enough, you know, not everybody's going to be the women in this room, where somehow we came out of the womb, and you're like we got this right by plate. My Barbie doll was a baseball bat, like right? I grew up with Levin boys. I'm very comfortable at fraternity parties. Like not every woman is that and so with a briefcase Amaechi chew, but acute briefcase ask people what they would say your biggest strength is when you start to hear theme. Right. That man the CEO that said go into sales. He was a silent mentor. That's right. He was saying something in you that you didn't quite know yet it somehow aligned with. Wow. That's why I want the top floor of the city with the shuffling papers when you're five and doing deals. Right. But he it resonated and it clicked women also need. To trust that, when they hear something that resonates clicks, your inner voice is trying to tell you something follow that one extra step. Here's on and to that, and then quickly do an about face. If somebody tells you something that's the intensive that a quick story. I did have somebody. I've always been mistaken for the marketing girl, or the administrative assistant where, you know, CEO and president of a company have been VP of an organization. And so when somebody would say to me won't you should maybe look into this marketing jobber, this relationship management job. Those are the people that I said, thank you so much, never gonna listen to anything, they have to say, again, because they don't really know me my strength. So yes, you're right. And they don't want to, and you're absolutely right. You told a great story about somebody who took the time to send you a message through your website right after seeing your picture. You could just kinda recount that not not too long ago earlier this year started. Business, and I had someone right into the website literally take the time to type of message an adviser and say you look for too young to be taken seriously doing this. Why would I ever hire you? And I and I've said this to you add, I faced far more ageism in this business than I have sexism and to me, it was indicative of somebody who had belief systems that were so you know, in the past this, this idea that if you're young Innis business, you can't possibly have the knowledge or wisdom to teach somebody else, something. And I commend firms that are big on reverse mentoring because I think there's a ton that people who've been in the business, a long time can learn from younger folks, and something, we know statistically is that if you have high levels of e Q, emotional intelligence. It is far more important to have high Q than to have a high number of years of service in the. Business and Lowey Q. In other words, if you've been doing this forty years, and you're not self aware with no, eight q, guess what? You're probably not gonna make it the next ten years. And that's the reality to, to talk about the Cathy. I think it's interesting. Putnam is doing. And from our conversations. They seem to be a leader on the diversity, and there was a great phrase that you used about the pace of change. If you touch on that, and touch on, how putting him kind of us this, because we're going to need the large firms the industry leading firms to start to change the way that the view and that they position themselves in the marketplace. I just think we no matter how long you've been in the business you can look at it right now. And you can say to yourself, that changes never happen, this fast, and it will never be the slow again. And you can think about that across any element foundational element of our business. And I think on this particular topic of diversity, and you've heard I, I listen to these four one forever, by the way. Three women. But if you take a look at it, there's no silver bullet and that's the approach that we've taken Putnam. It's a lot of different things we're firm believers in the power of the Monday, Nej doing the basics those little things that, if you layer them and augment them, there is a huge multiplying effect that happens as a result. So I'll just run through a few things that we're doing number one. We have diversity inclusion officer at the farm, we've had that for years, their sole purpose is to make sure that we're doing everything possible to attract develop retain promote sponsor diversity. Not just women. Diversity across the organization. We've have had a women's leadership group since the early nineties at the firm this is not a new topic. Certainly not a new topic. These are all things that we've done in terms of those tenants that I just talked about developing training and so forth. And to make sure that women, especially have a place to convene to. Network and speak to each other on to understand different parts of, of the business. We do a lot on the recruiting front at the firm specifically, and one of my, the areas of my responsibility is our early career program. We've targeted five campuses where where we've sort of declared are major, if you will some schools in New England some in other parts of the country, but we are going not only are we going to job fairs to recruit, we're getting into classrooms, we are teaching. We are going to conferences. We are doing mentor programs or getting to this talent, this human capital early because they're getting placed earlier in their careers than we've ever seen before. We also have had a huge huge initiative across our partner firms on this whole topic of women investing. We have two modules that we've worked on extensively. One is a call it a client or shareholder version of women investing. But the other is teaching advisers how. How to address I hate to say it, especially in this room, but how to address this cohort and this segment? We've also done a number of things from a corporate perspective in the area of we're, we're members of the Boston women's Compaq, which is all about equal pay. There's a lot of legislation that's been happening in a variety of different states across the country, just being sponsoring and being part of the solution in that regard. So, you know, it's not one thing, there's no silver bullet, but you compound all of those initiatives together, and we're taking this content and our playbook out to our partner firms, that's where you can really make a difference. But the one thing that I will say is, this is an issue that belongs in HR, the biggest way the most impact the people can have across any industry. Any firm is to own it and do something about it. We should be better. At hiring people like us when we go on campus and I'm doing a lot of these meetings myself, but I, I say, send our millennial cohort. They're the future of the business. They're the ones they can identify with. Everybody should their own their piece of it. And I think sometimes we get in these conversations there, there is this proverbial, sometimes it's an eye roll right? But there's gotta be ownership and people actually have to invest in do it themselves not outsource it. This is something that all of us own. I mean, basically the, the wealth management industry will change and you can fight it every step of the way or you can get in front of it, and be a leader in embracing clues in. But it will change. There's no question about it. But if you wait and drag and fight it, you're going to end up like the wave of women that came into the government. And what's happening with CBS news and other firms, where you're forced to change legally? I think those are great points in in preparation for today. I almost introduced Michelle is one of the top women advisors in the industry, and I stopped myself, and I actually because my emotional intelligence is increasing certainly hanging around you ladies. Not so energetic, IRO. Made me think that if we as an industry continue to put that label ahead of it, right. Or make gender. I would never think of sitting here and introduce a male advisor saying, he's one of the top male advisors in the industry, say one of the top advisors. So I think, you know, Kathy to your point that the CIA thinking has to change the the nomenclature the, the way that we talk about each of us in the industry has to get to the point where we drop that label at some point, I agree. I speak it. You know tons of events in the industry and oftentimes asked to speak at women's events. And I remember one client asking, how are you going to change the message or what's going to be your framing of the talk for women business owners? And I said exactly the same as I gave to male business owners because they're business owners. And so that that's indicative to me about how firms view their own. Adviser field force that we somehow need to either dumbed down the message or you make it to that women. Let's make a little more touchy feelies women can understand the reality is if your business owner your business owner and practice management is about concepts in about behavioral change. And my message is the same so for me. I, I hate when I when I see or hear that there's this incredible divide between women and the rest of the industry, especially in the financial advisor field force. Michelle amateur you've experienced that. I mean, I remember last year, the Olympics, I loved when Lindsey Vonn literally looked at the broadcaster, who was interviewing. And she's like you know what I'm really sick of how everyone starts the question with what's it, feel like to be the best female? She goes, I want to be the best skier. It's pervasive. Right. And to your point, and what I said earlier this isn't just some global thing that has to happen at the top. This is every single day at when you're in your office, or your visiting, if you hear somebody doing that you pull them aside and say, wow, we have to, like, totally re listen to how were and you've got to get involved on the spot. Right. Let's also not miss the middle layer of women. We've got two ends of the spectrum in this room. There are a ton of women in their thirties and forties that are sitting there that can be a closer generation to the millennials. Let's make sure they're engaged and they have the flexibility I feel like those women are getting lost in companies and financial services because they were sorta, right? On that weird cussed. And now they're sitting not feeling quite enough power. Maybe they're not elevated enough. Maybe they're not being tapped enough. And they don't exactly know how we're kind of you'd as well. You guys. Kind of figured it out in the eighties. That was so long ago your sort of cutting edge, there's a middle layer of thirty and forty year old women that have to start to be taken seriously and, and elevated and their voices need to be heard. It's great. So as we wrap up here and this has been a really fun conversation. I won't say necessarily to participate in certainly to, to listen to and I've learned an awful lot coming back to kind of how we kicked off the podcast when I asked penny to finish the story of, of that event up in in Boston. I will share with you that at dinner. I did ask any what it's going to take for our industry to change and her comment wasn't she meant it and only the nicest sweetest way for us, old white middle aged guys to move on either through retirement or other methods time is what is going to take. But, but it sounds to me like listening to all of your great thoughts. Stories anecdotes and, and pieces of advice that, that change is happening and that and again, Kathy I love that phrase that, you know, change is never happened this fast, and we'll never be the slow in the future. So as we close, I'm going to ask each and everyone of you to give two pieces of advice or in idea, if you will one to those that are near the top of the industry, and we'll help set the direction for all of these firms like Putnam, who is certainly progressive. And then, number two to that young millennial or that young woman or that young diverse candidate coming into the industry. How they should approach their career on Wall Street and why quite frankly it is a great career to two percent. So Michelle start with you say to the younger, the millennial. We're all in the business of monetize ING, our personalities figure out, what you should be monetize ING, if you don't know, your strengths yet asked people, what they think you're great at, and trust your intuition in your inner voice, what was the other question to the leaders of the industry today? How do we change that thinking that messaging directionally to become more attractive to women to millennials to diverse candidates, and set that firm on the right path? I think we've answered that I think we've answered that, but it really to make comes down to daily observing what's going on in your company. If you're the leader, it can be sitting next to somebody, it could be what's being said at lunch? It's watch where you exclude not include. Kelly, I'd say for the sort of senior people, I think, among senior women, it's great to band together 'cause we now have more and more women that are in senior position across the industry may be note, one individual firm, but I think women bandied together, I just felt so alone. Most of my career with no support at all. And, you know, having a loan deal with very complicated situations, being the only woman in the room. I think now again, we, you know, in their strength in numbers, women, we can stand up and say, we don't want to be treated this way, we believe this should be the career track for women. There should be more opportunities. So I think it's time to kind of step up and own that power and for up and coming women, I would just I just think, again, this is what a fantastic industry. For more women young women to consider, and it's not even on the radar screen of the young women. I know that are. Of my daughter's just it, it's not a consideration. They are intimidated by it. And it just doesn't look that welcoming. So whatever we can do to make that aboard welcoming industry and encourage more. More women to join in because you're so many great opportunities. It's flexible, as well compensated if you're good at it, you know what a fantastic career you can have. Fatty. So to be younger, younger gen younger women and really for for anyone wanting to come into the business. It is. It's no yourself. I talked about this earlier. And no, you're worth the it was never popular back in the day to leave an organization. You, you know, the, the longer you stayed the more you put up with, you know, what of an organization that tougher you're and that's just not the case anymore. Be okay with walking away from a place. That's not a good cultural real. There's no, I think there's no stigma around that anymore. This stigma has has lowered and I certainly have felt very comfortable doing that numerous times. And so it you have to be okay with that. And some of that comes from really taking time to know yourself for the leaders of organizations, I would say if you are committing to evolving to changing to being more diverse, it has to be more than just saying it, it has to be more than just. Updating your marketing. It has to be commitment to changing infrastructure to changing the way in which it visors built career paths in join teams and get compensated in the Wayne, which leaders get I mean everything has to change. And if you're really committed to having a diverse workforce, then you have to commit to doing the grunt work that comes along with it also sounds like as you're thinking about gifts to get your daughter, Staples. Maybe instead of Fisher Price. Might be the way to and Kathy. So I know that one of the themes here has been. No, right. No yourself. I would just expand that slightly. And this is directly for my boss because he talks about these three important things all the time. No yourself and we talked about that this whole idea of authentic alignment, number to know your stuff, right? You got to be competent right in, because that drives confidence. Right. And know who cares know who your advocates are who's going to sponsor, you who's going to support you and building that advocacy is so important that's requires face to face interaction, making relationships and expanding your relationships and making them very personal. So those are the three things for anybody entering the business. And, and everybody Putnam who's listening to this podcast would know those three the three things very well as for leaders. All around the world, we have stepped into a bull market in the business of leadership. And I would just ask leaders to do their job and that is to lead with their voice with their actions with their sponsorship with the whole idea of taking risk. Right. I think for some you can get a little paralyzed in here because everything, so viral now everything so transparent. But leaders in here half delayed, and especially in an arena like this on the topics we've discussed today, and I just want to compliment you again on all the work that you did to pull us together, and pull the themes together. This was such a pleasure. And my hope is we can stay in touch, and maybe do version two point. Oh, if we have a little reunion with, with my colleagues here. I appreciate. I appreciate that. And I think two point. Oh, is a great idea. I don't think you know, forty five or fifty minute podcast is going to say solve the problem, but certainly on behalf of myself and dynasty financial partners. I wanna thank each and every one of you for participating in what has been a lively discussion. I think it's been an important discussion. And I wanna thank you for your stories, your insights, your thoughts and more importantly, your candor, and I'd like to thank everybody else for listening. We look forward to, to have you join us on future podcasts. And if you have any interest in connecting with any of these fabulous, I have to use the label women certainly you can contact us through dynasty financial partners. So again, thank you. And, and appreciate the thoughts. I to thank our guests for their great comments and insight, and I wanna thank you for tuning in and listening to our podcast. I hope you found today's episode entertaining informative and helpful. And if you have any comments questions would like to connect with dynasty or any of our guests. Please contact us at podcast at dynasty f p dot com. That's podcasts at dynasty, Frank Peter dot com. We look forward to you joining us on our next podcast. And until then, remember at dynasty, we live our American dream by helping you realize your American dream.
149: Lead Without Fear Cultivating the Courage Habit with Kate Swoboda on the TalentGrow Show with Halelly Azulay
"It's the noticing of that pattern. That actually is the pivotal point of interruption so by all means I would love to talk about what the research indicated we can do instead the only thing is we might shortchange ourselves. If we try to jump straight into. I'm GonNa do all the good things and not look at the stuff. That's hard the stuff that actually trips me up or the stuff that I might have taken on as an entire identity welcome to the talent show where you can get actionable results oriented insight and advice on how to take your leadership communication and people skills to the next level and become the kind of leader people want to follow and now your host and leadership development strategist suggest Elali Osceola hey talent growers welcome back to the Talent Rochelle. I'm Elliot July your leadership development strategist and the talent grow show is brought to you thanks to Tallaght grow the company. I started in two thousand and six to develop leaders that people actually want to follow so I am so glad you're here today today. We're talking about something that has come up for me and I've written several blog posts about this in the past which is how to deal with fear and how how to be more courageous. We've actually even had a couple of different episodes about courage in the past which will link to in the show notes to help you compliment this one but today we have a guest cates will bota who is going to talk to us about what are some of the patterns of how fear shows up for us so that we can recognize them and break them and she shares actionable advice for what are the steps that you can take to become more courageous. These are backed my science that she's GonNa share a story about a client but she's helped so that you can really envision how this works and I think that you'll find this episode to be super useful and actionable because they know we all face fear. We all deal with situations where we're not sure how to handle or we're not sure what to do and today we're going to give you something that you can use so I look forward to hearing your feedback afterwards and knowing what you thought of it but without further ado let's listen to my conversation conversation with cates talent growers this week cates will vote is joining me. She's the creator of your Courageous Life Dot Com director of the courageous living coach certification at Team C._L._C. dot com and author of the courage habit how to accept your fears release the past and live your courageous life. Kate helps individuals vigils teams and companies see where old fear based habits have kept people stop or started to limit what's possible for an organization and then start grading more courageous lives by getting into the courage habit a four part process for behavioral and organizational innovational change which Kanai are going to discuss for you today. Caves has appeared in Mind Body Green Entrepreneur U._S._A.. Today Forbes Lifetime MOMS the intelligent optimists business insider and more and her website. Your courageous life was name a top fifty blog for happiness by greatest kate. Welcome to the talent grow show. Thank you so much for having me. It's a pleasure and I look forward to speaking with you today about all things courage before we we do. I always ask my guests to tell us their professional journey very briefly. Where did you start? How did you get to where you are today <hes> well? I always like to say I started by doing all the things that I thought were right and ending up in exactly the job job that I had always trained for dotted all my is crossed all my t's had something of a like not breakdown but a kind of crisis of confidence because it was like Oh this actually is completely wrong for me and that knowledge really took me by surprise I felt very blindsided by that understanding the day that it hit and really had me questioning. How do I trust myself and then that sparked a whole career reinvention journey of what is it that actually want to do this one precious life and that led me to coaching so these days I really look at how is it that people face fear and instead of trying to outrun it? How do we actually deal with it and practice courage tonight? Take a really pragmatic approach to that research backed. Let's develop the emotional resilience approach and then as you mentioned I write about that at your courageous life from the director of coach Certification Program and I have done some facilitation tation in speaking in the corporate world trying to bring some of these tools to organizations as well and then now today. It's all led up to. I get to talk with awesome people like you so I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you you you know I think that some people that are listening might be like Oh. I love this topic and some people listening might be like Woo. I like that you have a science and research based approach and I'm looking forward to digging into that a little bit. I've actually dabbled in writing courage because I think that it is actually something that is really lacking for a lot of people. A lot of people struggle with that talent growers know that I'm always lamenting my own decision to make this a thirty minute podcast because I make it longer but I'm mindful of how long commute is or their runner whatever they do when they listened so I'm really really struggling with the desire to ask you about that day when you decided that things need to change. Can you tell us a short version. Invent Yeah it's how I start the courage habit so if anybody wants like the full story that's where it is but basically I was sitting in a meeting that I always say was cruelly scheduled so if you if you're a manager adjourn you want better retention. Don't schedule a meeting for like four o'clock the day before everybody goes on Christmas break I think that was contributing to my breaking point and it was being discussed at the meeting. I was so tired and it was being discussed at the meeting. Hey everybody how about we over Christmas break. We work on this project and then everybody comes back and brings their ideas and that was just like the worst <unk> like I'd been looking forward to a vacation. I met the last hour of work before him free reefer vacation. I'm so burnt out you know perfectionist. Stick over achieving a million different committees always volunteering to to do the extra I was burnt out. I wanted my vacation and I was sitting there. Listening inning two colleagues bicker with one another and suggest everybody do work that I kind of knew like all that was going to happen was the people who control the project. WE'RE GONNA end up having their idea. Go forward so it's like. I couldn't not bring something back from break because then I'd be the person who wasn't doing anything but then whatever I brought back from break I knew wasn't going to get picked anyway so I'm just sitting there and you know I know this is going to sound rude but I think of it as a sort of intuitive wisdom that voiceless voiced voiced that just said I don't WanNa do this anymore and I again. I'm very pragmatic and it shocked me. It was like I don't WanNa do this anymore. And it felt similar to if anybody listening has ever been in a relationship that's been having trouble a suddenly just knew this isn't the right relationship for me. It's just like once you know that you can't unknow it and that's how that moment felt and from there. It was just like total terror but I knew I just knew. I couldn't keep doing what I'd been doing. It's really clarifying and helpful when you get that knowing and I wonder also sometimes we wait too long for like the memo to you know hit the inbox we we have enough signs usually earlier than that and we can prevent a lot of suffering and you know continuing to do something that makes us so unhappy and in your book the courage habit. I know that you talk about how people are wrong when they look are seek being fearless or that. They think that they should get rid of fear here because I'm thinking what you just described a lot of us have been in that position and you're scared to death right. I mean making a decision knowing that it's not right is one thing but what the heck do you do next. And how do you bring in the Bacon or the bread or the Kale Salad. Whatever it is that you wanNA bring on? How do you do that right? So why do you say that we shouldn't be fearless. In what is it that we should do instead why say we shouldn't be fearless or tried to be because no one is if something doesn't work. We need a different approach handling it. No one is anybody who's selling fearless is literally. They're selling something yeah and there are three common ways that we tried to deal with fear we try to avoid it or ignore it. We try to placate it and we try to attack it and none of these ways of dealing with fear bear out in the research as effective models you know in my case with the job. That wasn't the right fit for me. I had been trying to ignore the signs that it wasn't a right right. I know there were health signs all over the place. I've been trying to placate it like maybe if it just make a lateral move and I just kind of move to do a little more work in this area then it'll be okay and I attacked it. I would tell the fear when it would come up. I don't like this etc.. I <unk> stop shut up like just just need to get this work done but those things weren't working so for anybody who's listening when fear comes up if you need to have a difficult conversation if you are trying to manage internalized critic that you know something within yourself wondering am I a good leader. Am I good manager trying to avoid that question or that. Fear trying to placate it or attacking which is telling it to shut up and go away. Those things don't work if they worked. I'd be writing books about how they work and trying to get everybody to do more of that right or if they worked there would be no need for such a book because those are the things everybody does anyway and we'd all be fearless. If it worked it would work by now so we need a different approach and to me when we are caught in that queue of fear. We need to pay attention to how those patterns are responses to the fear become habitual to the point where we don't even realize that we we're just enacting the same pattern over and over and it's controlling us. That's what I really wanted to get people to pay attention to. How do we pay attention to the fear instead of trying to outwit it or outrun it or out logic it and deal with it head on and then go whereas become a habit and how can I change a habit because that's the good news anybody can change a habit okay so let me make sure I got you so what you're saying is instead of tried to hide from the fear or ignore the fear? Tell the fear to go away. We need to face it and when we face it what we need to do is look for. What type of pattern are we repeating here so that we can break the pattern with new habits absolutely yes and are four predominant fear patterns that I've found tend to be most pervasive? We all do all of them. Usually there's one in particular that really will hook us and it's the noticing of that pattern that actually is the pivotal point of interruption so by all means I would love to talk about what the research indicated we can do instead the only thing is we might shortchange ourselves. If we try to jump straight into. I'm going to do all the good things and not look at the stuff. That's hard the stuff that actually trips me up or the stuff that I might have taken on as an entire identity. <hes> that's like masking like putting on a band-aid when there's something that's underneath the surface that needs to be taken care of absolutely and I'm sure there are exceptions to this but you know I do read a fair number of books that are written in by people who have that wonderful narrative storytelling approach to illustrate a concept Kinda like Malcolm glad well or Charles Dig and the story of the C._E._o.. Or the leader when the company is in trouble who instead instead of trying to go in there and just exhort everyone work harder and which is like an avoidance technique you know or any of that like the story of the C._E._o.. who gets up in front of the podium in actually says hey everybody Ada talk to you? The company's not doing well and I don't totally know what to do about it and I'm asking all of us to work together like that story. Is You know at least from what I can tell. It's the one that motivates the most people it's the human story and I think that leaders we need to be more human and by all means that doesn't mean that we just like a vomit up whatever emotional thing we're having going on in that moment right like we do need to be professional and there are times in places for the proper disclosure of information but there is something about a leader who steps up and says you know. I don't have all the answers. I'm actually stronger because you're with me and you're stronger because I'm with you. That's how I lead that is incredibly motivating inspiring to other people so what are some of these he's fear patterns. You mentioned I mean. Can you give us a quick overview of them sure so again we all do all of them depending on the circumstances so it's not which one do I not do we all do all of them but usually when hooks us more than the rest so so big one perfectionism. Most people don't even realize that that's a behavioral pattern people raise their hands and go. I'm a perfectionist they take it on as an identity because but no baby comes into the world born a perfectionist babies come in and they get conditioned into things like perfectionism and that's the constant over achieving striving certainly they're good things about it right like a strong work ethic and a willingness to hustle but when it's perfectionism that willingness to hustle is less about pride made in doing a good job and more about fear of not being enough and that's why it's a fear pattern <hes> so people feel cues of fear and sometimes respond by going into perfectionist fear pattern and then other people are people pleasers. They're the Yes people they're always saying yes. They don't know how to say no. They constantly solicit other people's opinions rather than trusting in their own or their crowd sourcing is just like kind of all over the place instead of a select few who have really earned their stripes to be the people you consult them. You have some kind of a quandary and then there are pessimists and pessimism is the hardest fear pattern. I've noticed for people to claim so I tell people look for where you go into pessimism because it's there don't deny it but pessimism is kind of like WOMP WOMP be realistic. I don't even know what the point is. You know and that's usually I like to tell just own it for myself. When when I have run a few pattern when perfectionism some leads to burnout sometimes I'll go into pessimism of like I look look? I worked so hard on that didn't work out in their self sabotage and self sabotage is I suppose perfectionism people pleasing pessimism as well. It has those components but it needs its own separate category because self sabotage is the kind of two steps forward one step back. I worked really hard so now I blow off and I play and then oops don't miss the deadline it spending because you saved and then I also think self sabotage is just you know if you have a big bold idea telling someone who you know has stolen big bold ideas from other people in the past and then they go presented at the meeting. That's a total self sabotage move and you don't realize it of course in the moment but that's one way that it can look so we've got perfectionism people pleasing pessimism and self sabotage interesting and so if you're feeling the fear for something that you feel like you need to do but you're scared to do it then you can try to identify what the sources or where the fears coming from our what's guiding you next year because then you can probably do a better job <hes> of sidestepping overcoming or slaying I mean would do well ideas that this habit based in the brain so habits in the brain run on a Q. Routine reward loop as far as the brain is concerned. The reward is whatever decreases stress things that are familiar decrease stress things that we have control over decrease stress in this example. If I felt accua fear her about Oh my God I'm in the wrong job. I totally after that experience that meeting that I told you about went into perfectionism and for me that looked like going home and on that break instead of working on the project began doing all these like M._t._v. I and you know strengths finder and like all these performance indicator tests because I was going to spend my Christmas break finding my new perfect career you know but the cue of fear led to the routine fear your pattern of perfectionism and the attempt was to get the reward in the short term reward of perfectionism is stuff like feeling in control. The short term reward of pessimism is I if I go into a fear pattern of pessimism. Maybe I feel intimidated. Imitated about going after what I really want and so I- back off and in the long-term backing off is not near best interests but in the short term to the brain. It's what's familiar. It's what's known and there's less stress so what we need to be doing is when we have the q fear we're probably going to go into these fear patterns and the important pieces do I recognize it. Joy feel that fear notice when I go into the pattern and then how do I interrupt it and that's where what I call the courage habit comes in these research back behaviors that actually build more emotional resilience so that instead of just endlessly repeating that fear pattern habit names like how do I interrupted and then practice a courage based behavior Xavier instead until that courage base behavior becomes my new habitual way of dealing with things. I'd love for you to tell us can you is it possible for you to use a story of someone you've worked with. Who has maybe some kind of a you know a relatable situation for the talent when growers and walk us through the four specific behaviors through their story absolutely yeah so I worked with someone wants who came to me and was like I'll call her Myra not her real name of course okay you know she came to me and one of the biggest things that she wanted help with was around releasing stress and particularly around being able to prioritize and get organized and what we found was really interesting because at first I mean when she was pretty skeptical about whether or not coaching could help she came in? She was just like of already done a gazillion things. I've attended the Stephen Covey Seminar on important but not urgent how quadrant everything and stuff like that and it just isn't quite working so what I actually had her do. After a couple of sessions was was breakdown like step by step you know painting me sort of scenario what it looked like to walk through what she was walking through because what kept happening was she was always behind on projects in then one of the things that we found was that she was getting behind on projects because she would let things snowball so it was like she would need to be working on something and then one of her kids would need something so she would attend to that by the way her kids were old enough that they could attend two things themselves themselves and it was like her own fear of not being a good enough mom that had her abandoned her priority and pivot over to them so that's the first place we look at fear right and then as the project started to to get a little bit further like if she's working on her laptop up top over the weekend then suddenly she'd be like you know what a better Jewish software update since she does a software update and then it turns out that the software update required some other thing and then she's having to take her computer to the apple store to get that work done and then by the time she she gets out of the apple store. She's hungry so we started to look at all the little pivot points where she was making decisions and we found that there were little things all over the place where fear had had stepped in it was either a fear of not having a good enough the idea and procrastinating result of that there was some perfectionism in there like I'm not like I'm not sure what else to call the impulse of I have to have all my software updated before I can finish this project that do on on a deadline other than perfectionism like you don't actually have to have your software updated unless you're being forced to so little things like that were coming up and one of the things that we kept looking at that actually kept coming up over and over with that a a lot of her overperforming was related to a really common experience for women in in corporate which is that she had a lot of male colleagues. She was the only female colleague in a leadership role uh-huh and she felt really intimidated by that and she just was going to perfection is a mode of I have to actually manage every little thing because this is a very real thing to deal with. If I missed something up how how do I know that it isn't going to be like she just doesn't have the chops for that role and particularly around being a mom and someone in a leadership role she was really juggling. How do I show up for work and not like have any trace of of being a mom on me? Bring that into the workplace because it's a very real thing that that is going to be looked down upon in a lot of workplaces interesting so yes she I mean she totally sounds like she was procrastinating doing her white so what the behaviors you taught her to do while we looked at the interventions of the courage habit so though and they are accessing the body which is slowing down getting present to the fierce sensations that you feel listening without attachment again slowing down it's like what is the fear saying you listen but you don't attached to it as true and any manager who has ever taken a workshop in giving or receiving feedback knows what this means. You're listening to what the person is telling you in terms terms of feedback but you don't take it on as this means that I'm awful and I completely suck at all times. It's it's D.. personalizing it you reframe limiting stories and this is not affirmations okay like I know you said that there's some listeners might be like what what's the Wu but not woo. This is actually backed by dialectical behavior therapy cognitive behavioral therapy narrative therapy and reframing limiting story is as simple as there's no way. I'm going to get this done and deciding to go. You know what. I don't know that I'll get this done by the deadline. I'm just going to make a plan and work. As far as I can up until the deadline or I'm going to talk to somebody and renegotiate the deadline instead of hanging out in that stressful place <music>. I'm never going to get this done and then there's reaching out and creating community fear totally thrives in isolation and we really do need to reach out to other people in the open about what we're working towards healthier is coming up. And of course you do need to pick those people carefully because there are some people who just really aren't doing that work and learning how to identify people who share those same values that you can reach out to them is really helpful and that's that's what helped Myra to do. We started with this <unk> whole breakdown of her day. There was a lot of accessing the body and listening without attachment. What's coming up for you at that moment? When you think I've got to update my software what's coming up for you at that moment? When your teenage son need you and you abandon this project that has is a deadline to go talk to him and it's not really something you have to be there for in that moment and then reframing limiting stories in reaching out creating community were part of the process in terms of bolstering her ability to notice that critical voice that was worried about a misstep and be willing to go you know what I might make a mistake and I'm totally capable of cleaning it up and then coaching was a form of reaching out creating community but a another big thing that we really talked about was finding those does male allies within the company who seemed like they might understand a little bit about what it might feel like for her to be the only female on the team and offer some support in that way and that actually was really helpful as well great the fourth stab the farming community? What specifically do you do? Let's say you you carefully select one too. I mean I don't even know how many people do kind of run things by them or do you just blow off steam with them or or get their adviser adviser. Have the mentor you. What do you think people should do that well? It could be any of those mentor. Relationships are wonderful but the big thing that reaching out in creating community is as I think of it is finding those people who share your same values <music> noticing who are those people who practice integrity when a hard decision has to be made who are the people who don't shy away from making the hard decision even as they're very clear about the fact that it's hard because those those are the people who are really going to give you the best advice if you need to bring a hard problem to them. Those are the people who don't see you in your moments of fear and think that that's all of who you are when I think of the people who I trust trust the most of the people who I trust the most are those who if I call them and I'm super upset about an issue and maybe I'm even going you know I'm completely ticked off at her and I couldn't believe she did that and she's being such a <hes>. You know B.. I T. C. H.. It's like they understand that in that moment. I'm angry that that's not the totality of who I am and that after I have a little time two loss team I'm GONNA come back to a more compassionate world view of seeing. 'em pathetically what might be happening for that person listen. It doesn't mean that I'm an awful person just because I was angry in that moment or that I'm weak because I'm scared. It's really important in particular around that one to find the people who don't think that being afraid when there's a challenge automatically means thinks that you are weak yeah. We need to disabuse that cultural myth about feeling afraid totally. Oh Wow I want to ask you so many more questions but I'm noticing that our time is quickly running out. Can you give us also just a couple of quick tips. It's about accessing the body just in case I mean to some people that doesn't they don't know what that means. Yeah Yeah Okay so accessing the body can mean anything from mindfulness which you know if there's anybody who's on the planet who still thinks meditation patients just like a hippy dippy thing go check out the clinical research you can go to scholar Dot Google Dot Com and you can find abstracts for days. All the powerful benefits that meditation can bring everything from obviously lowering unstressed but just the even boosting your immune system during cold and flu season. It's huge so accessing the body in that way is important because we don't logic our way through fear like if you again you're not gonNA talk yourself out of your fear and your feelings that that system in your body telling you hey something's wrong here is going to override logic if they have feelings get strong enough so you need to attend to the feelings so accessing the body can be mindfulness accessing the body can also be going for a run or a vigorous walk when you're stressed out my personal favorite way to really start stress. Whenever I've had a long day is cross fit man a lot of grosman? Oh yeah you go throw around some heavy barbells goals in jump on staff and all that it's like who there goes the day's stress but it's also accessing the body as in wing. You're having the difficult conversation or win. You're sitting at your desk and you know the internalized critic is going you you suck as a leader. It's like okay. I just need to take a breath because win. Fears really kicked up it comes fast. It's overwhelming we need strategies for slowing down and understanding what the fear is actually really saying and doing when you understand something they can become a lot easier to be with and that's the big thing is that the paradox is that the more we lean into the fear of the more we actually try to be with and understand the fear the the less control it ends up having over our lives and that's why accessing the body is such a powerful portal. It's my personal favorite of the of the four parts of the process you you can do all of them. You can do one of them all of them together as most powerful all but if I were going to pick one that's my go-to and it's probably the one that people skip over completely because we don't like to feel so we ignore it right we push it away and sometimes we become so numb because it happens so often that we're no. Longer even able to get the like we don't get a little memos they come to lay they come when things are just completely out of control and suddenly we only feel it then for the first time because we've been ignoring the small signs absolutely and it's like this is so important for anyone listening to get it doesn't have to be that way like what you just described is exactly how it keeps running over and over and over when it's unchecked <hes> but it doesn't have to be that way you don't have to go into work work. Whatever intimidates you whatever arouses fear or stress or overwhelm whatever your word is? It doesn't have to control you. You can learn strategies to at first. It's going to be interrupting the old way of being and then implementing a new way of being and these are tools that you can teach other members of your team to work more effectively as well. I mean imagine if everyone in the office instead of being stressed out and either taking it out on other people or shutting down completely in some way because they're stressed what if people actually on your team started to attend to their feelings by accessing the body got better at listening without attachment to themselves to others were reframing limiting stories instead of it being like a Downer conversation when things were tough where everybody's like yeah it's complaining and so bad and so negative what if we re frame those limiting stories and that would have people on the team reached out and we're really able to create community with one another. That's a more productive workforce but more importantly that's a happier workforce yeah for sure and then you can of course go into the key routine reward instead of doing the old one. You can create new ones which I know you talk about in your book. We don't have time to talk talk about it today. But that is why we're going to link to your book so people can read more and before he shared that one specific takeaway action just tell us a really short highlight of what's new and exciting for you these days kate what's new exciting is just just like life. I know that does it sound very new exciting but I love the work that I do directing people in the greatest living coach certification. I didn't work in my second book proposal but I don't feel like it's developed enough to talk about yet and I'm I'm. I'm really looking forward to summer vacations so you know I know that those are not like these big massive projects coming down the pipeline that sound really impressive but they feel really good to me and it's a far far cry from the days when you know sitting in a meeting at four o'clock right before a break and knowing that I wasn't going to get a break so yeah. It's a huge victory. That's right instead of dreading. You're excited and looking forward. Yes awesome. I love it all right. All our guests always share one specific action that listeners can take today tomorrow this week to upgrade their own leadership skills or you know in your case. Maybe upgrade their courageousness well. I'd say after you listen to this. Sit Down and write down something that has been in really bugging you something that has been hard lately something you need to do have been resisting something that intimidates you and then start writing down what all the voices inside are saying like. Why hasn't this been done? What is the voices saying to you is it? You can't can't do it. It's been done before by someone else in better and then go which fear pattern is this perfectionism people pleasing pessimism self sabotage and just start with that clarity about okay. Here's what I'm afraid of and here's how it showing showing up in what the voices are saying and here's a fear pattern that I think it is because if you can just do those initial steps you'll start noticing it all over the place and that's what really opens up the door for you to go. I want to change this habit. Instead of going into a fear pattern pattern I want to access the body or want to reframe a limiting story because creating awareness is the first step to generating change absolutely love it. Okay we'll kate. I know people are going to want to hear more from you. Learn more from you. Stay stay in touch. <hes> will link to your book and will link to your website. You hang out on social media. Should they follow you anywhere yeah. I'm kate courageous on Instagram and your courageous life on facebook cool very good. We'll thank you so much for stopping by the tally grow show and sharing your insight with the listeners paid. I really appreciate you. Thank you so much for having me. It's been a pleasure <music>. We have heard a lot of ground talent growers in this episode on. I definitely felt like if we were to go for another thirty minutes. We would have a lot more interesting information from Kate so I definitely encourage you to check out her bug and her website but like take action. Kate suggested you sit down and think about what are some of the things that are showing up for you. In terms of things you're afraid of and what are some of those fear patterns that are maybe at the helm of that fear and so more awareness you create the more change that you can put into place to create a better life a more courageous life and to build better teams. I really would love to hear what you thought about this episode as I always do and also what you would like to hear about in future episodes so being touched. Give me feedback you can use the little voice mail tab on any page of my website the little black tab on the right and record me a voicemail and especially if you record with good enough sound and give me permission I could even play on a future show or you can write me an email elite talent dot com or you can leave me a comment on the show notes page or using social media. I am happy to hear from you. I'm Halley's lie. Your leadership development strategist here at talent grow talent. Grow is my company that sponsors this show the talent grow show to help develop leaders people want to follow. Thank you for listening and until the next time make today great.