20 Episode results for "Caroline Hobby"

A Message from Caroline: New Episodes Return 3/29!

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

01:40 min | 4 months ago

A Message from Caroline: New Episodes Return 3/29!

"Caroline hobby and. I am so excited to say i have new episodes. Starting this monday of my podcast get real with caroline. Hobby these past few weeks. I have taken a much needed break from interviewing sharing stories. Just because sometimes. I don't know if you guys feel this way but you need a moment to regroup and to take him. What's happening in the world and there's been so much going on sometimes i just feel completely overwhelmed and when i get that way i just liked to be quiet and i like to sit back and take in. What's going on around me. Learn better myself. Figure out how i can contribute to the world and most productive way and i feel so excited to be bringing you new stories of incredible women who have overcome so many obstacles who have believed in themselves when odds were stacked against them her using their voice to make people feel better about themselves. They're offering tools to help. People grow these stories from these women coming up starting monday. Our incredible and i am so so so excited for you to hear them and be inspired. Because that's all we all need. We all need to lift it to their up and spire each other especially as women. We are a team. we are a tribe. We're in this together. The pandemic has been so hard. Everything that has been going on in the world has been so difficult to navigate. And we're all gonna rise together and do better that we have to come together. And so i'm just really really excited to share these stories at this incredible women. So tune in monday for all the episodes.

Caroline hobby caroline
Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby Trailer

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

01:08 min | 2 years ago

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby Trailer

"And. Hey, guys. I am so excited to share some awesome news with the off my podcast get real with. Caroline hobby is launching on the Nashville podcast network. We I'm so thrilled about it. And I cannot wait to keep being episodes that inspire me to my core. Each week you can count on every single episode to be full of soulful real conversations with women who are making waves while keeping all balanced. I'll be sitting down with the better halves of country music stars like Nicole hawking whose Luke combs Veon say Tatyana Hauser who's the wife of Randy Houser, plus women who are making it happen in the entertainment world like Janna Kramer as well. As female, entrepreneurs influencers and other fascinating women. It's honest women. Having honest talk. I am. So so so pumped to keep diving in and sharing the stories of these incredible resilient inspiring women with y'all I love you guys with me. So awesome.

Janna Kramer Caroline hobby Randy Houser Tatyana Hauser Nicole hawking Nashville Luke combs
Caroline Hobby: this episode I take the time to introduce myself, tell you a little bit about my life and answer your burning questions for me!

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

47:58 min | 1 year ago

Caroline Hobby: this episode I take the time to introduce myself, tell you a little bit about my life and answer your burning questions for me!

"Payoff Caroline Hobby of get real podcast I want to talk to you about what southern living magazine has up their sleeve in the south. Talking about food is personal. It's a way of sharing a part of your history. Your family, your culture in yourself on the biscuits jam podcasts, southern, living editor and chief sit evans talk celebrity musicians like. Little big town's Kimberly flatman. Brett eldredge Martina McBride in Gladys Knight to hear stories of how they grew up and how they've been shaped by southern culture. Listen to biscuits and jam on Apple. PODCASTS IHEART wherever you find your favorite podcasts. Hey, it's caroline hobby. I spy something fun. Old Navy's face facemask for the family. These triple air washable, one hundred percent cotton math are definitely something to smile about. You know smiling with your. Your eyes. They're designed according to the CDC's recommendation for non-medical Face Ness, they come in handy multi packs, and they're available in sizes for kids antidotes, because you should cover your face, and not your personality, they come in a whole bunch of prints, patterns, and colors, five packs, twelve, fifty and ten packs, or just twenty five bucks at your local old navy or old navy dot com, the old navy dot com for details. She. Just said. Noah. Founded. Okay so this. I'm doing. Answering your questions about me I've gotten so many raw talking to me saying you need to tell your story. You didn't answer questions. You introduce yourself. So. Let me introduce myself. My name is Caroline Hobby. In thirty six years old I am from Texas I grew up. Great Family My Dad's a dentist. My Mom taught philosophy at Baylor University of an older sister named Kathryn, and she is married to an amazing guy named Willie they have a little girl named genevieve. His nine interviewed Willie Catherine engine. Vive. All My podcasts, so go check out the powers. They Adam Powers Willie bowers and Jimmy thouars. And I grew up in a really great family. My family taught me great morals and commitment and love each other support each other. And it was great Then moved to Nashville am not say I didn't have my own personal struggles, or whatever along the way, but as far as having a loving family I was very blessed. Then? I went to Belmont University in Nashville move to national. Be a country music singer. And I ended up forming a trio with Jennifer. Wayne and Taylor Lynn Jennifer Wayne is now in runway June and they're kicking butt. Doing so great in Tayla, is she? Her Grandmother's? Loretta Lynn Jen's grandfathers. John, Wayne. Taylor now is in a duo with conway, twitty's son and She and Conway twitty son. Do do it and they travel all over the country pre, covid. Covering Loretta and Twitty Conway Twitty, which is amazing, so we ran this band stealing angels for about seven years. All over the country open for everybody. did a USO tour went to Iraq. It was amazing. It was such an amazing experience and I. Feel like that is really. What honed my skills. I guess to say of interviewing because in that trio interview interview after interview after interview, and you're entertaining. People and I just started to realize good questions. What was engaging what I wanted to know when I felt like I was as good bad questions, and like I just started to realize. The Art of interviewing and getting stories out, and I really loved having telling Stories Aston. Getting. Interesting things out of people and I learned that from being in a band. Also after my band, stealing angels fell apart, Jan and I went on the amazing race, and that's on CBS, and it's a race around the world. Obviously, that's not happening now with COVID, but Jan and I did it two times. We did season twenty two, so watch it. We're the country singers. We're both single and freaking boy crazy. Kosh on my God. So we did amazing race season twenty two, and we got fourth place, which was really awesome, so made in the season finale, and then we got ask back to do all stars, and we got second place. We almost won the whole thing on our all-stars season twenty four, and all is like where they ask like the favorite teams to comeback all compete on one season, so it was so much fun. Seeing the world open my eyes so much. It made me realize that we are also similar, and people have so much of the same desires which I feel like is just. To provide for their families to have a happy life to live in community into love and be loved, and I got just got to see so many different cultures living beautiful lies in seeing how everyone lives so differently, but yet we are are so much the same. So, it was just an incredible opportunity to travel the world and do Jin. We had so much fun. We were so supportive of each other, whenever towards other down a lot of teams on the amazing race will self destruct, because it's so stressful like you're doing the most stressful things like one time Jin. had a jump into a muddy river and swam laps to grab a clue and in a wet suit and the freezing cold. It's just crazy. You're driving all over countries that you can't speak the language or on the opposite side of the road driving stickshift barely drive a stick shift at one time. I forgot turn of the parking brake noodle, the highway and like a car started. I was like Oh my gosh. I'M GONNA blow up on accident. And it's just high pressure because. Everytime on airplane like as soon as it lands. You have to have your back. BE READY TO DART out because you've got the first cab and try to get to the next place. I to beat on the other teams. Because every second counts, so mean is adrenaline adrenaline adrenaline, and it is so easy to self destruct, but Jan and I stayed so positive and we. We just decided to assume the best in each other and to work as a team always into know that we are always trying our best. Don't tear each other apart and we did we did that. We did that the whole time and I have to say that's probably one of my greatest accomplishment is how great Jinnai worked as a team and loved each other and. Had Fun and didn't yell and scream and tear each other down, so that was amazing. And then after amazing race. I came back to Nashville. Had moved to Texas for a brief stint, because I met my husband, and between all this like before amazing race I had started dating Michael Hobby. He's in the Banda. Thousand Horses. We did for four years and then we broke up. The caller halftime show. And I moved to Texas to be with my family and that's what amazing race happened. And then after I finished doing the maze and move back to Nashville to work at a record label. I was a record I went from singing to the amazing race in in Austin is teaching music to kids in the little school called music together so sweet just trying to figure out my life lost. I've had many seasons of feeling super loss so. For All of you guys who you have gone through phases, or you're feeling loss. Know that I'm right there with you. My life has been waves. It's been highs and lows and. Feeling totally lost in between, but looking back now all the seasons are so important and I'm hopeful all of them so after amazing race a move back that to Nashville and I started working a record label I started. Doing promotion which is were you promote an artist to radio? You take artists around, and they have a single pushing radio. You take all the radio stations in Gen and I did that together promoting Natalie sobol to radio. She was artist which is so amazing, because now Natalie is in Jin's band runway. June, it's just crazy. How full circle everything is like? You have no idea how everything's working together when it's happening, and then you look back years later and like Dang. That's nuts that those relationships. Form so early on in such different roles, and then like it can circle back around to see Natalie now join runaway June. Has Been so cool because she's so talented. Genzer talented Naomi talented, and they're all such great talented singer Seagal. Make sure to check out in June. They have a new song out there we are. We were rich and it's amazing. They're so talented. Surgeon workings promotion was US nothing. Jin Wasn't an unmanned either that time. She was doing promotion with me and we were promoting Nellie sobol. The now John Frat Flash Board Jin is now on a band, so it's like you never know when you're gonNA end up a successful You never know what's GonNa lead to what? So when I was doing promotion, I and I was awesome. Song Plugger, which is pitching songs had writers that works for the company I worked for, and they would turn in songs to me and I would listen, and I would decide who I thought. She reported that song at which country artists and then I would either pitch it to their manager to the artists themselves today and our person, which is the person who listens for Music Barness anyway I could get that song to the artist's to try to get that recorded on that artist's album that I thought it would be fit for so. Did that. In between doing stealing angels than I worked at their Record Label Promotion Company and I was a song plugger. An I started doing hosting jobs. Jen and I are like the dynamic duo. Hosting drops together. We did this show called sweet tea. That never aired, but it was so fun It's of like highlighting South and then we would do. We did like live hosting for the riverfront stage down in Nashville for artists that were playing in summertime. and I realized I loved hosting. And, love hosting I had learned how to interview people and be interviewed and get engaging content now from the amazing race like I learned at what. They're looking for for those short little clips on TV like what makes an engaging quick interview. I just learned so much from doing that on the amazing race, and I was like I love hosting and I I didn't even know that was a job. That's how like following your. Heart does lead you to your next step. Because when I moved to national is nineteen years old to be a country singer I had no idea as an end up being hosted a podcast hosts like named those things existed, but because I followed my intuition and what was driving. Driving me, and what was it what was making me feel curious? I ended up just following path and so then. I was like you know what I love hosting and I I. Just heard about podcasts. My friend winter a bit who have also interviewed on. Get Real, so go check her out. Her name's win elder now. Was Like Carolina. podcast you know all these interesting amazing people and podcast about to be the biggest thing to hit the world, so you need to go ahead and get in early and started podcast and I was like what the heck is a podcast i. have no idea what a podcast is, but okay. Let me figure it out and I'm going to start one so I. Did my first interview was Darius Rucker and it was amazing and. Started rolling from there and then flash forward few years I have been hosting for a TV show called net called national insider, and they highlight all local country music news. It's been such a blessing in so much fun interviewed incredible people on that show. and. I recently last year partnered with bobby bones in his podcast network. National POD casts network called, and it's been awesome to be in IHEART. Bobby bones family, and so that's really my story of had gotten to here in the meantime, I had sunny Last year last year in September and for you guys who fall my story Michael on I struggled with. infertility I out of its infertility, but we Could get pregnant, but couldn't hold the baby. I had a miscarriage and chemical pregnancy and we tried for. A year to get pregnant and I was really depressed than in a dark place and I thought all hope was lost, and we'd just miscarried, and then right after that we got pregnant with Sonny and. Sonny has been light of our lives. She is a true joy, and I have loved being her mother more than anything I post all the time about being your mom and motherhood and things I'm going through and tips I've learned and things that are helpful to me and so that's a lot of my content these days because that's pretty much my life. I don't know if I finish the stories after Michael and I broke up. We ended up when I moved back to Nashville. We ended up. Reconnecting and we realized that we were each other's true love, and we eloped four months after we got back, I got back to national. We got back together. We eloped, and in the Bahamas got married. And now we've been married almost seven years six Omar Nathan. Place where I can't remember how long we've been married. We've been married forever. And it's been great, and he's in a band called horses. A on new song called a song to remember. Check it out everywhere on Itim spotify wherever you listen to music, a thousand horses song remember it's so so good I mean it is such a great song. Thousand horses toward that ruined from Jason Aldean's Kid rock to Darius Rucker to Frankie Ballard to. Bosh everyone. They were supposed to go on tour of the black. Crowes a few times this year before covid hit. And fell apart which rose cool cool story are Michael's cousins. They are his second cousins, and so he's grown up loving an idolizing them forever so now they're all in music and they're going to get the tour together. Oh special, but. Anyway, so that is a brief brief brief summary of who I am, and now I'm going to answer these questions that you asked. Okay, and then just sum it up to like that all sounds like bullet points and everything's Been Peachy, keen, happy go lucky I am a super emotional person I. Am a four on the program which is individualists, and so I oftentimes get lost in my feelings and I'm super. emotional I. Swing from High Salo's all the times I feel everything. I'm super, super empathetic. Sometimes I feel so much. It's overwhelming. And I So I've had a lot of crude dips like I have had super highs to sucralose, and before I realized that life was a pendulum and that you're just constantly swinging. I would really lose myself in those lows like when things fall apart of when my bands would fall apart when? When amazing race ended or Mike when Nebraska or when I I just feel so lost it really take me down. The older I've gotten the more of lived through those highs and lows. I realized that that's part of why in the doesn't freak me out as much as it did before like. It still sucks when you're going through the low swings. But I also know that it will swing up the other way like nothing lasts forever, and so I learned that especially being in a creative lifestyle. Your wife is not really consistent, and so I've learned to just go with the flow. That's action at my tattoo means I have these three birds on a wire and one is sitting on the wire, and that's the season of waiting when you don't know what in the hell is happening with your life that you're waiting. And then the next the birds flying because like the waiting prepares you to fly, and so sometimes you wait sometimes you're flying soaring sometimes you're coming down and it's just a cycle that continues, so don't ever get hung up on one of the phases, and not just a constant reminder to me to. Realize that. Life has so don't when you're in the high moment. Enjoy it, but don't don't freak. Don't hang on so tight, but you can't live when it isn't a high beaumont anymore because it's going crash eventually, that's part of the process. So. Near questions. watching her episodes of amazing race, you should go into details of that, so it is so funny that my sister and my niece Catherine Genovese just started watching all my seasons, amazing race, and so gin and I have been talking on the phone I was like I'm. GonNa start watching the amazing race again. I haven't seen it like five years, so I started watching the all-star. My Gosh Jin on episode to Gin and our about to get out because I had a symbol this very intense remote control car that kids Rydin. In China and I cannot assemble, and so I got assigned task. I was full blown melting down, and there's this thing called the express pass that if you get it, you get to use the past and skip the challenge. In one of the team's, the cowboys had one. And Express pros for themselves, and they had one express passed to give another team so as a very strategic thing who the cows we're going to give this express passed to. They needed to get rid of it because they don't want they didn't want to. It's an advantage for another team. It's a disadvantage for the cowboys to have that. They WANNA. Get rid of it, but they need to get rid of it in a way. That doesn't put them endanger. Jin worked so hard and got the express pass and I got to leave the challenge. Otherwise we might have gotten out and I was like. It's so fun washing back to see how all these pieces fall into place. Because you have no idea what's going to happen. It's all these people navigating these intense challenges of finding locations working together in foreign countries and. I just another one that we did. We're on a raft to build a raft in Whitewater. Raft at a river, and then shoot this blow gun into the forest and knock down these fake birds and I just It's been such a blast. Relive it because it's such a moment of time in a moment in our Life Bay, the dog barking in sunny sleeping and I'm like dogs eating all. Wake up that baby. Message a moment of time that I was never get back I'll never. I'll never do that again and we in these moments. You think they're gonNa last forever, but then they don't. So it's been so fun to watch it back. Just intensity in Renton, and how on you have to be all the time? Okay, someone says polly pick says I love your show. What is your? What is your faith in? What would you have called sunny if she were a boy? Thank you for listening to the show I really just want to highlight. Honest women in how honest talk says what the catch is? The catch line is because I know I. Am always looking for real talk, and because I'm such emotional person I can swing in emotional, low and I want to know that I'm not alone and I feel like everybody wants to know that and so interviewing women in particular who? Who seemed so successful and they are. But to and so happy and so blessed, but to really dive into their store and realize it hasn't been perfect for anybody. Even the people that we put on a pedestal like they have had moments of complete Deer and being lost in doubting themselves and heartbreak, tragedy and terrible things like everyone has to go through their journey, so God has been the point of this podcast really is just to heal myself to know that all these women. I look up to also go through. Struggle to but I think that's in the blessing for everyone Israelis. We're all in this and no one has. No one has a flawless ride. Everyone has to deal with their own stuff. And let's talk about and be honest, so then we all can like. Be empowered and. Support each other in realize like nobody's better than anybody. We're all in this together, and that's been such a blessing to do this podcast. what is my faith? That's a really good question. I believe in God one hundred percent. I have a super active relationship with him. or the higher being whatever uniform. I believe that God is an every single thing in this life I think that everything does happen for a reason, even the terrible things right now in the world I have no idea what's happening in his overwhelming to me all the pain and suffering and All of the tragedy in all the kids that are hurt abandoned abused lost all that like kills me and I cannot come up with a reason for it, but. I have to believe that God has some bigger plan and purpose for every. Part of this existence in life like an like with Covid, and with the fires in Australia with. Animals and children and families that starve and don't have access to clean water and. Men The list goes on and on and the pollution, and there's so many things overwhelm me, and it's all so big, and I don't know how and like the tornado that hit Nashville in the families that were displaced that all like really rocks me to my core and I don't know how to deal with it and homelessness and. Addiction and. Oh. It's just heavy I don't know how to handle it. so my faith is. I have to believe that God has his hand in everything in the there is a purpose for everything. And God. I listened to the nudges that I have in my heart. I know when I feel pulled towards something and I felt called towards something and. When I! Feel Path clearing for me to make a difference in in my life. I follow that path because there's too much in the world. That is heartbreaking and not one person can. Fix everything. This is a huge world. We live in a lot of stuff going on. So. I the way I can stay centered stay faithful stay connected without feeling so overwhelmed and depressed about up sadness. World is no. I listen to my heart where the road clears for me to make a difference. That's how I make a difference and I just keep following up and everything I do in my career choices in my guest feature in the way I contribute and give back to my community. I just follow. The road that opens up for me and I feel like I can impact, and I think everybody did that. We can make collected huge difference. It's a great time to get a great deal on a new car. When you get approved for an loan from Penn Fed their powered by truecar rates are as low as one point three nine percent. APR New Vehicles Finance for longer term to lower your monthly bill plus take sixty days schedule. Your first payment joined Penn Fed and together. They'll keep you moving forward. Anyone can apply visit Penn Fed dot org slash. Slash auto or call one, eight, hundred, two, four, seven, five, six, two, six to receive any advertise product. You must become a member of pen fit. Insured by NCUA payouts Kellyanne Hobby here from get real podcasts. Talk to you about southern living magazine. They are celebrating the essence of life in the south, covering the best in food home travel in style and this June. Southern living is excited to be launching a brand. Brand new podcast called biscuits and jam in the south. Talking about food is personal. It's a way of sharing your history. Your family, your culture and yourself each week. Sit Evans Editor in chief of Southern Living magazine. Sit Down with celebrity musicians to hear stories of how they grew up. What inspired them and how they've been shaped by the southern Culture John, said and his all star guests including Jayco and Willie Nelson. Nelson Kimberly shot in Martina, McBride Gladys Knight Brett, eldredge, and more as they talk about cherished memories and traditions, the family mills they still think about and their favorite places to eat on the road to episode one talks to country musician Jaco on about knocker, Caroni croquettes growing up in Florida and the story behind his hit song homemade. Listen to biscuits. Jam on Iheart Apple podcasts or wherever you find your favorite podcast. Fertility journey well when we were trying for a baby, originally I got I was thirty four, and I got pregnant like three most of the time. And I. It was chemical pregnancy, which means like you get pregnant. In you're pregnant right one week, but the embryo doesn't stick inside of you. And so it's chemical pregnancies early miscarriage. So that was sad. It was hard, but it was also okay. can get pregnant and. Tried and tried again. Six seven more months nothing. And I started getting super depressed because. All I wanNA baby and I was like this is not gonNa having for me, and now I'm like thirty five. If I never can have a baby. And we got pregnant again. Seven months after trying and then. A couple months into it. I lost the baby and. Man It was so devastating. And the crazy thing was. Like. When we're going through Michael we read a big award. Show party dressed up. and. I was miscarrying at this award show like I didn't know it was happening. And then alternates are miscarrying. Taivon. And like. It's just like. Is Not reality. If you see a picture in our own, seem so happy and everything's so great. And you never know what's going on behind the scenes so. Miscarried and it was devastating. I was. Deep, deep deep. Deeply. Depressed I guess I mean not like clinically depressed, but I was in deep season of depression. And my guy cautious was like. We need to give your body a break. You're probably going to have to help to get pregnant. You probably going to need to get. Have to get into idea and all that stuff. And so I just kind of gave up on. It was like. A worn out and exhausted. This is so hard and to like. Lose a baby in like dining, not not like I. Don't know if I really excited if I did get pregnant, because now have this fear that I just GonNa miscarry. and. So I just gave up on it and. then. I got pregnant. Quickly after nine, just thought, there's no way. But kept saying pregnant and I made it to like the first trimester online like I've made it through the scary part the scariest part as we miss the most. And I just had so much fear and anxiety the entire privacy I stopped completely. Start working out like I. Did Not do anything that was like involved. Heavy movements like I was so afraid like one time dog jumped on me and I had full blown panic attack that. She had like kill the baby and I mean I had so much anxiety. I loved being pregnant because of such a blessing and a gift like the fear I had of losing. Sunny was overwhelming so. When she came into this world, it was just. My. Man. It was the greatest day of my whole life and. She has been the biggest blessing. And so I. Don't know every journey that women go through with struggling to get pregnant, but I definitely had my own journey. That was really hard so I relate, and I am always in your corner. I believe that every woman who has a desire to become mother will be mother in one way or another whether that Sir doctor whether that's through fostering whether that's through. I the F. whether that's through just being an amazing aunt or fostering lots of dogs or whatever it is I. believe every woman who has the mother instinct will become in some way. But I know how devastating that journey can be and how blessed blessed. It can be, but I definitely know the devastation. I'm always feeling for you. Guys in in your corner because I. Walk that Walk To. Do I have a nanny I do not have an anti I actually have no help at all or no babysitters, really ever, so I'm a full time. Mom and I am completely. Hundred percent hands on Sunny I. Really Record my podcast I record them during her naps or like at eight o'clock at night. And eventually covert ever opens up I would like to get a little help, because it is very hard to wing wing it on win. I can report our podcast. because. It's a guessing game. She doesn't have like set nap times, and she doesn't have the same amount of time. Every time I have to schedule these appointments. These interviews of people so. It's very tricky. but I love being a fulltime on. I am so ocd and obsessed with her. That like I feel nervous if anyone's watching her, but me and I wanna be there all the time, and that's just my personality. so I don't have a nanny. Or help. What is my biggest regret? The question. Biggest regret. I was so insecure in my twenties. That I misinterpreted a lot of things. I didn't think I was worthy at anything else worth it. Just for my own reasons. I wish I would've had a little more confidence in my twenties, and not have been so insecure and I have really seen the blessings. I was living at those times instead of seeing a dislike mind securities, but I think that's part of growing up. and. I learned a lot from it so I don't regret it, but. I wish I would have been so hard on myself and so. I don't know thoughts on worthy for so long, but I think it maybe I. Am and. So I don't regret it at all, but I just wish that I could have seen the truth of who I was at that time. Billy I don't know. I don't really have any regrets which I'm grateful for. That like I've lived learned and. A Roth all. Pretty grateful for my life. I mean I feel very grateful for my wife. All of your favorite products. Baby registered that you couldn't live without. Pack and play sunny is sleeping in her back and play right now. Because she. We've met traveling so much didn't sleep in her crib. So pack and play Let's see what else I- outlet the Outlet Foot Monitor. It's kind of Pricey I, but I'm so CD about her breathing. She is ten months old and I still put it on her foot every single night that she goes to sleep and monitors her breathing and her heart rate, and it gives me peace of mind. Some moms don't need it for me. It is the only way I can go to sleep at night because I know that that'll arm will go off of her breathing dip slow, certain point and I can. Rest That that that has been my number one. And then what else my pump pump forever, so I had to spectra pump. which is great on break bottles? Yeah I mean. Pretty much everything else, Kinda. You know roll with it. Oh a carrier lily carrier that I wear her on that we love. That's amazing. How did you Michael Me? You met at a bar. It was very very romantic and classy drinking at a Bar I was twenty four. He was actually I met him in a studio. He was recording music with a producer that I was and he and his band. We're like all eighteen nineteen years old and I was like twenty two, and they were sliding up and down the studio halls tube socks I remember thinking. These guys are fun and wild, and they were so funny in great and talented so I, was kind of knew him not well. And then we ended up working the same producer. Get in that that was working produced. That's how I knew each other, and then later on a few years. Later I was at this bar because I was gonna all the time you know, get my flirt on. Get my drink on trying to. Mix and mingle. And I saw him at the Bar, Do you? What are you doing in? This weird guy was trying to flirt with me a chocolate being. It sounds like you talk to me like. Distract this guy away from me, so we ended up talking about I thought he was so young because he was like three and a half years younger than me. I was like I. Mean When you're twenty four and twenty when he's twenty one like the big difference. But I was like Dang. This guy's funny. He makes me feel the way I wanNA feel I. Love Talking to him. He's so charming and talented, and we ended up making out that night and dating for four years, and so that's how we met, and then we broke up married opposite. Do! You want markets, you know. I think we'd love to have another kid but I don't have any on. I don't have any pressure on it. We'll probably just open. It up to see if anything happens here in the next little bit. But, if we aren't listening child, I am so happy with just one an I do not want to put pressure or have anxiety or stress out about having to so like we just happened to be blessed one. That's great and if not. We are so thankful and happy for sunny and that she's on out. We have that is. Perfect so really. In a hand this next child over God and I don't want to have the same. Anxious walk that I had. To get to Sonny, it would be to if we're buses vaguely over to I. Just want it to be whatever will be will be and. we would be thankful if we're busting another child and if we aren't, we are so thankful to have one, so that's how we are kind of moving into baby number two. wanted to start getting sunny finger foods. And what does she eat I started giving anything or Beta? Six months I was scared to death to feed her real food because I was freaked out about choking I just like like surprising are catching a theme here. I've been scared of this. Her dying hurting yourself. All the things like every new thing has been very scary for me, so moving into foods is very scary for me, We ended up in South Carolina may stay there for a while and I stayed with my sister in law and brother-in-law with Mike all night. It is any hit, Nath, five kids, and so I really that was a blessing for me because she helped me feed sunny because they have a daughter who's a little bit older than sending and so like she would help me like break it into little bites and show me how to feed her, and what to beater, and I'm just having. The support was really great. That's my women. We all need each other to support each other because. I know for me. I can't sometimes I just had to be full blown supported by women to move into the next day with phase sunny because it's just so overwhelming. I started around six months and I the main things I've eater now like Avocado Veggie Burgers Greek yogurt mix it with like peanut, butter or CSU. She doesn't have a peanut allergy. Peanut, butter, or like parade vegetables pureed vegetables. I feed her watermelon, macaroni and cheese peas carrots that are steamed. Stuff like that. Let's see. Newmont her. Did you struggle with postpartum depression really hurting over here? I. Don't know if I had postpartum depression, but I was an emotional mess I was emotional mess of the weepy mess. Everything I cried all the time could not get a hold of my feelings. I was probably lower radic with my feelings or my goal. I could probably. A probably wasn't totally saying in the head with him, but he he's known me for so long. He's been so gentle with me. I definitely had so many feelings and I think he's GonNa. Give yourself grace. It took me. Probably about six months to really get the hang of this and Roy good. I kind kinda like myself again and to be like I knew what I was doing. Sunny and such as a new mom. Everything's new on your fully responsible for this baby. Hormones are all over the place, and you're doing so much, and sometimes you're dislike. You wanted to scream at your husband. Even though he's trying to bessie cannons like you just got to give yourself a little bit of grace in that time, because it is just like your world's have been turned upside down so. Don't worry if you're in the middle of it is very normal. just try to make sure that you feel your feelings and give Yourself Grace Boreham cry- crying. Help me a lot and then lean on your girlfriend's like. Lean on another mama friend because you need to have money talk to. Someone, who can encourage you? How did you get back to normal activities in life after having a baby, I don't think life is ever normal again after having baby a new normal. It took me like I said like six months to do anything. We started traveling when she was three months, and like sent me into it frequent tailspin, but now she's ten months, and like we got a rhythm and routine, and she's like a little human and. Strong and capable, and yes, she still needs fulltime mommy and daddy watching all the time, but she is strong, and can communicate her feelings, no with her, crying in her laughing and her little chirping and all that. So, as like now it just got into rhythm but I think I think it just takes time and I think you've just got to figure out. I didn't put pressure on myself. Like I didn't leave the house for the first three months, and then I slowly started adding things back to my plate that I could handle little by little by little bite. Bite at not dive back into my full wife right away been a very slow, slow slow creep back into life, and it's still not realized than than Kobe hit. Of course our all living lives that we haven't lived before. So I just gave yourself grace and add things back to your plate. As you feel that you can manage them, do not rush. Would you like to sing professionally again? You have a beautiful voice. You're so nice. That me I don't know I don't sing professionally again, but I am open to singing again in some way if it came across my path like. Ended up, doing a show or something and. They needed me to sing. Like are totally thing you know down the road. do like Broadway stint when I'm in my sixties, something fun. I mean open to it, but I'm not no desire to do it. How did you come up with Sonny's name? Michael came up with it one day. He was just saying. We're talking about names. Sunny it's like Oh. Love Sonny Sonny is such a great name because I truly believe that your name sets the tone for your life, and why not? Have a name. Sonny Kazeem each set the tone for bright warm life and I was like Oh love it. Son and Grayson is named Sonny Grayson is her name racists. Michael's brother who passed away when his fifteen of a brain of brain cancer and Grayson was just one of the greatest guys Michael Said and one of Michael's. best friends, and he had the great spirit, and so we just wanted to honor Michael's brother. Associate Grayson that's her little sweet name, and she is so sunny and so happy. I'm going to get through. Some of these have been talking about for a minute. Thank you? Pay So y'all said what inspired you to start a podcast like? I said I just really wanted to get into hosting in I. Loved interviewing hearing stories and I just thought you know what my friend win told me about. Just went all in and I didn't know what I was doing, and it's been awesome. How do you approach asking guests to speak on your podcast? For me I'm such an incredible community of people amazing people in Nashville. So many great friends that my road Sorta just leads me to people so I just where I in my life when I run across people that I find fascinating and ask them on behalf love to have us ago. PODCASTS or you cool in a saga. Equals coming on. Any advice to newbies, who just started park castle. Actually share what I just saw bobby bones put about this and he's like you need to have your niche like you need to know your niche and your line like mine is honest. Women honest talk. That is the focus of my party, so he was saying you can't just interview. Country Stars like you need to know. What is the point of your interviews? Be Specific, so be specific about your focus and I. think that's Great Advice. I mean I took it. favorite album thousand horses. The ban play on. It's coming out soon, but for right now. Check out a song member anywhere you can, and it's the best. What helps your anxiety during pregnancy after experiencing a loss. I mean I. I would love to give you a great answer but nothing. I, until I got pregnant with sunny, I had so much anxiety and so much. Makes me cry like the brings up feelings nothing. I mean Diddley. Not God and I knew got reason. But it was devastating heartbreaking and I can't say. I handled it perfectly because I was lost in my feeling so. I duNNo. I journaled a lot. I wrote a lot. A Lot I did yoga. And I tried to just know that God had a plan, but I definitely. I definitely struggled with it hardcore. Struggle, not living in Texas near family. Yes, I do I love Nashville so much, but I really wish I could hop in the car and drive a few hours and be with my family on a regular basis. It in is fine when pre Kogo because we could hop on the plane and do that five Texas all the time, but now that we can't fly. isn't really hard because I love my family so much and I want to spend time with them. And so the fact that So hard to get places right now. That's definitely a struggle. But. I love national so much that. You know it's worth it even though I wish I, wish we closer. wrap up while I enter these to question. Best advice to get two girls in their thirties and still single I think. Do not just get married because you want to get married. You have. Stayed single for a reason because you haven't met someone. WHO. Is A match. Makes you feel like a like? Wants us to the rest of your life with and like being married is amazing. But it is so much like. It is so much, and you definitely want to be best friends you want us to. Love with the the way the person thinks where they navigate through hard times the way they fight like how do they fight or they nicer than mean like you know, it's like you just like being partnered up with someone for your whole life as a huge commitment so. It just takes one. I would say Jessie James Decker taught me this, she said. Write your letter to God. Ride out what you're looking for what you're thankful for about your husband. Right in present tense and be like I'm so thankful that my husband has these traits treats me like this makes me feel like this even has a career like this. Right out what your dream guy is in a letter to God as if it's already happening and then. Watch it manifest. That was the best advice I ever got. And it worked, and so I would just do that. Letter Gaden manifested and believe he's out there. okay last question, let's see. What is your guiding light as you navigate your path? My guiding light is trust. Your instincts trust my instincts a trust. A heart tugs on my heart. I. Believe that we should leave people better than you found them. I like to see the good others I to the good of myself. I want the world. We happy place. and. I'll wrap up by saying. Leave my light. Always ask you believe their light. We're all here for a reason. We meant to be here. All are warranted completely different circumstances some are. Way More heartbreaking than others. But every part of our life each person's life. Perfectly may in there is a bigger purpose behind it. I believe it. Leave this life is meant to? Bless us in the long run. Even if we have to endure really hard things I think that. God is good. All the suffering has a reason and that. Humanity is ultimately go. We just get lost in. Our Egos and if we could all just realize that we are all divinely made. We're all. Children of God and your God I mean. We came from God's God is in all of us. We all see. The Gods sparkin everyone. What a better life! This would be so that's what I try to do I try to look for the God's work and everyone knows someone is mean attacking you and. Hurtful snow that hurt. People hurt people. And not prison is hurt and sir. Try to give them love instead of hate. I'm a work in progress on that. Sometimes you see happening any dishonor can't. You just want to. Rip into somebody but like. You can. Use It with love. Probably growth in person underneath all of that WHO needs love. So we can all just her love our neighbor. The world, a better place hope you guys enjoyed this Thank. You offer wanting me to interview myself. I hope I didn't ramble much and I love you guys. I. Pay Caroline Hobby is find something fun. Old Navy's masks for the family. These triple air washable, one hundred percent cotton masks are definitely something to smile about you know smiling with your is designed according to the CDC's recommendation for non-medical Face Ness, and they come in handy multi packs, and they're available in sizes for kids antidotes because you should cover your face, not your. Your personality, they come in a whole bunch of prince, patterns and colors, five packs, or twelve fifty and ten packs, just twenty five bucks at your local old navy or old navy dot com see old navy dot com for details. He is the reason. I became a country music fan. Charlie Daniels had effect on people around the world. The man was simply electric. We are celebrating his eighty three years of life as we talk with him about his life hall of fame, Legend that other legends wanted to work with from Elvis to Bob. Dylan and the Beatles Creek Chase Nashville chats one of our last conversations with the late great. Charlie Daniels listen to subscribe on the iheartradio APP. Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Toni Thomas: Growing up w a civil rights activist mother in the 60s, Toni talks about why 50+ years later we are fighting the same fight and how it must change or we will implode.

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

53:19 min | 1 year ago

Toni Thomas: Growing up w a civil rights activist mother in the 60s, Toni talks about why 50+ years later we are fighting the same fight and how it must change or we will implode.

"Payoff Caroline Hobby of get real podcast I want to talk to you about what southern living magazine has up their sleeve in the south. Talking about food is personal. It's a way of sharing a part of your history. Your family, your culture in yourself on the biscuits jam podcasts, southern living editor and chief sit evans talk celebrity musicians like. Little big town's Kimberly flatman Brett. eldredge Martina McBride in Gladys. Knight to hear stories of how they grew up and how they've been shaped by southern culture, listen to biscuits and jam on. Apple PODCASTS IHEART wherever you find your favorite podcast. This is DJ Vlad I want you to check out the Vlad TV podcast since two thousand and eight Vlad, TV has been the leader in hard getting no-holds-barred interviews with the world's biggest rappers singers, Hollywood stars professional athletes and former big time criminals, and now you can catch all of our full. Leith interviews availables audio podcasts, so listen to the Vlad TV podcast on iheartradio. APP APPLE PODCASTS, spotify or wherever you get your podcast. In. Just. No one. Is. So I'm really thrilled being here with Tony Thomas. He is my friend she's my neighbor. She is an incredible realtor in Nashville WanNa just give that shoutout to. Looking for Realtor, where can they find you Tony? Well on with parks, I'm on the east side and I can actually put up my information at the end of this so that everybody can get in touch with you need a house I specialize in our neighborhood, so it's perfect. Thank you need to realize that tiny. She's awesome in the east side is the best side that's where we live. Right now I just signed Tony before we started this interview, I really feel called to use my podcast to talk about what's going on in the world to be a part of the change to. Just, it's important me to use this platform as a tool for learning for everyone who listens and. Tell stories of amazing women, and their journeys, and so Tony Outages love to talk to you about your feelings about a dislike, your upbringing your life. How where you came from what you got from your experience now now the black lives matter movement being a black woman in Nashville in with everything going on all the cry for change in the world. What are your thoughts on everything? I would just love to hear your perspective. Well first of all, thank you for calling me. That means a lot It's taken me a couple of weeks to really sort out might feelings. It hit me a little harder than I thought it was gonna hit. To be quite honest and. I'm really I struggled with a lot of things I did really well with the Kobe. I thought I was doing great with that I did really well with what was going to happen in the real estate market. And I was. At a really. Peaceful easy. Moment in my life, and then this hit again and it hit me hard. It hit me really hard. I come from Philadelphia. that's born raised, so that was really a hotbed of racism in the north. My mother was a civil rights activists. Into the school with Coretta Scott King and Martin Luther. King last she was part of the whole movement. Yeah, and this was her. Her. So for all of this will again. It brought up everything it did. And, it brings up a lot of conflicting emotions. You know I'm to hear about those if you'd be willing to share. Sure well first of all the most important thing right now is is the dialogue that's been opened up and the conversation, and it's an awakening. Or to use a little bit of dialect, it's woke. Everybody's woke right now. And I think that's really what was needed. And that's probably the difference between now and the sixties I got to live a little card of the sixties, so and it was also in my household, so I grew up that way. I actually lived quite a privilege life. I went to private schools. I grew up in condominiums so a lot of things I didn't have the deal with directly, and I was having a conversation with a friend the other day. Another black successful woman and we both said that life it becomes so comfortable that we head almost become lazy. And didn't have to deal with a lot of things. And the fact of the matter is it's it's been there. It's always been there as much change as we thought we had. The bandaids been ripped off. And we have so far to go that at times. It's frightening. But I also have hoped with what's happening now. So, yeah, I think that's great, and I think the way that you started as through dialogue. You have to acknowledge I really. Do you have to call it what it is? You have to acknowledge it, and then everyone needs to accept their part of responsibility in carrying forward and how we're going to change it. Why we have to walk I agree what has come to the surface for you that you said you had. It felt like you had maybe become lazy. What has? What has resurfaced for you that maybe we all had been able to turn to turn night, blind eye to for a little while we'll I think one should get comfortable and you. You don't have to deal with the everyday things like I. Don't worry about whether going to have a roof over my head. I don't worry about where my next meal is coming from I. Go out. Nice spend ridiculous amounts of money on food because I think Oh. I'm going to do local shopping. I'm going to buy this certain lettuce and. I have these options so therefore it made me really lazy and thinking that this is not an everyday thing something that should be equal for everyone I've now taken for granted especially especially for the black community, and I'm not giving back enough and I'm not walking back and helping my fellow brother and sister, because that's really what it takes you have. You have to be an example and you have to act like an example and shame on me for not doing that. So I had a lot of guilt there. You know. I think we've all had. I think I've had a lot of guilt because I thought. Just being non-racist I didn't even know that I had I didn't even think about being on racist because I just am non-racist, that's just the way I live. My life never been a part of you. I am so I. In my mind. I'm like okay. We live in America and it's the best time to live in like everyone has equal opportunity like in my mind is just like I felt like. It was. One for all on offer one and I didn't realize it was all these layers happening that I was unaware of completely naive, and that's where I am sorry for not being more educated so. I feel like I am trying to educate myself. Have these conversations because like you said? We have to have dialogue and I feel it's been so. To talk about this because. Nobody wants to talk about it because it's just awkward. But. It's just like we've got gotta get over the awkward part in just talk about stuff in like. How can we all help you know? And I think it really does begin with. Offices individuals, and then it becomes teaching our children and then living our lives. Living by example, and then living it within the community, and then not tolerating it, and the biggest thing in the quickest change is going to be policy reform. Because this is systemic racism, which is for generation after generation after generation after hundreds of years or hundred years, plus this is been in doctrine. This has been ingrained, so we don't even realize this is how we. Will you know? We don't even. Will you explain to me from your good? If systemic racism because I, feel like that is the word that has bubbled up during all of this that all of us are like what what what systemic racism and now it's like being broken down. We're going to see. Like the all the all is coming to the top in your perspective. What is? Racism and how does it exist in our country? So I love that question? And before we started this I decided to look up. The word I decided to look up the word racist I decided to look up the word racism and I decided to look up systemic. Racism for some reason, it's OK or someone. To say racism, but when you say cyst that's like. Oh, no, but I. Not that but a racist is someone who practices racism. Simple as that. I mean it's really easy that there is no difference in that is the difference. One is the action of the other one is the person who does the action. And I think systemic racism that word. It's institutional racism, and that has to do with everything that has to do with the inequality of education the N. equality of power, the quit the inequality of transportation housing. Down to small things of food, if you look at a poor black neighborhoods, what are your food options? Your food options are dollar general. Where if you have ten dollars to feed your family? You're going to go out and you're going to buy food. For dollar. oodles of Noodles Cup of noodles things that have high sodium things that have all these additives in it, so guess what that feeds into that feeds into healthcare. There's an inequality in health hair. Most people aren't making enough money to afford healthcare. Now you're talking about now. You're in the poverty level now. You're talking about jobs. What's the greatest equalizer education? Education in poor black neighborhoods is equal to education an our neighborhood. You and I live in one of. A neighborhood, where we have one of the best grade schools where people are fighting to get into this grade school, and it's by ZIP code rather than being everybody should have access to the same equal and good education, so there's small things like that, and that's ingrained embedded in our society. And those are things that are changed through policy. Change the way our justice system. Our criminal justice system is gear is not geared to the black community. It is not geared to help to. Rehabilitate it is geared to lock up. Throw away the key and get it off the streets to deal with it anymore, not realizing that we have a big heart and responsibility in that. So there's there's all sorts of things such a massive problem because it's been going on for four hundred plus years. In Here's a great story on Saturday. I went to. The farmer's market. And I crossed over. The veteran spreads Korean. Veterans Bridge I forgot that I wanted to go to Germantown. Farmers Market, so I made a right bias, end and I went through a yellow light, but I started at the beginning of the yellow lights went to the light. It didn't turn red until after I went through an all the sudden I see lights. Go on behind me. And I was like Oh my God and instead of thinking I haven't done anything wrong and just pulled to the side and see what's wrong. I started going through the checklist. Because now I was driving while black, I was like okay. I need to slow down turn on his signal. Lack exactly turn on my signal. Put my hands on the wheel when I stop and I'm like I need to get my license do I. Get my license. After the police officer gets the window or do I. Get it. These are all the things that are going through my mind, and I was petrified petrified. And you know what happened. Police officer drove passing really. Wasn't meeting. And all the sudden I just started crying. Wow! because. For. The first time in a long time. Being black was dangerous for me. There was a fifty chance had I been stopped I could very easily wind up like any other black person. That has the news right now and I had not. That wasn't even. And I wasn't even stopped. And I really that just hit me so hard. And I went home devastated by that because I had had the privilege of not having to deal with that aspect of it in so long, and not even have that come up in my mind, but when it happened the first thing that went through my mind was only God. What are the steps at a black person does when they're stopped. That can't go on anymore. Yeah. That's intense, Tony but that's okay, but things like this talking about it, and what's going on so I think it's even than black lives matter you know. This is a problem for the black community, and this is about black people and I'm not saying there's not racism against other. Ethnicities, but right now we're talking about this right now. Exactly this is A. This is a war against black people, and it is black people that built this country. So the very people that built this country. We are attacking. And, you know that Ole saying that the head stood. The fish starts distinct from the head down, not the tail up. So we have to start with changing policies the way that we look at each other the way that we think of each other the way that we treat each other, and we have to treat each other with the same kind, kindness, the same passion, the same goal and the same dreams that we do our own children. Or else. I feel like a lot of people who are naive to what is going on in the systemic racism aspect of it. How deeply ingrained in our culture will say their argument by might be well? Everyone has equal opportunity to thrive and survive. This is America. Everyone gets the same chance everyone. Can become successful if they work hard in their heads down like everyone is, it gets the same opportunity because we're in America. I feel like that is a very quick response that someone could say. How do you respond to that? I respond to that by examples I. Saying is education. It became glaringly evident when we went through the quarantine and schools were shut down. Some schools were able to do it because guess what they have Internet. They had laptops, so they could teach kids at home. A lot of poorer neighborhoods and poorer schools number one didn't even have Internet. Let alone a laptop. There's a disparity right their. Education. Schools in certain areas that are black communities. They don't even have up to date books. And now let's talk about books in history. There's only so much history you're learning. You know so that great equalizer education. There's not even an opportunity for kids to get out with that. Institutionalized racism has lessened the value of many black families and children. Most a lot of black children don't expect to live past seventeen. And if they do who are their families, why would they aspire to be a C. E. O., when they can barely go to the store and maintain having three square meals a day. Where the transportation system, here's another institutional racism at example of institutional racism, so of we don't have a proper public transport system. Not Everybody has a car. There are buses that don't stop at certain places and the places that they don't stop or the places. It need it the most or the places where they do stop. The scheduled for it. Someone might have to wake up and start their journey at five o'clock in the morning just to get to a ten o'clock start date. There's so many things that hampered buying homes getting loans getting credit being taught financial responsibility, and these are all things that are at the core of it, and these are things that from generation to generation to generation have changed. That are still the same. There so redlining going on, you know I feel like someone. Say Again I'm just trying to for people listening who are going to have is reflexive. Comments to say back, someone might say. Why does a black male typically fear that he wouldn't live past seventeen? Like why is that? Would they would the? Would it be his fault that he is dying when he is seventeen link how someone might try to put it on the person whether instead of the culture that is happening. How do you respond to that? I think for so long. Black people have been made to feel less than. You're not worthy of. You know yeah. It's it's very evident when I walk into a room when I walk into a room. The first thing that walks into the room is my blackness. Am I proud of that absolutely? But when I walk into when you walk into the room, the first thing they see is a female. The, first thing they see when I walk in is black. And, then everything else falls underneath, and then whatever little programs you have in your mind whether you realize they're going offer not. Have, all the sudden been triggered. And now you're judging, may from that and the sad thing about it is that? Bad should be something a source of pride. That's should be something a Oh. There's a black woman coming in okay, and all we want is equality. That's it so it comes down to how we're precede. The way were perceived on the outside influences away. Way that you feel inside. Yes and I get it. People are like well your choice, you. Could you know you can do this? If you just put your head down, you can make it really. What are you going to get that job? How are you GonNa get that job when you show up in front of someone and there's one black person and thirteen white people. And you have someone who doesn't even realize that. The tapes are going on in the back of their head. Nine Times out of ten, they'll pick one of the thirteen light people. How are you going to compete when you haven't when you don't have the opportunity to have the same education as someone else has? When your qualifications only qualify you for up to this level. And you have to fight harder to get to the now. So I think it's all about equality here and levelling out. The you know the the game leveling out. The field. And that takes work on both sides, but really what needs to happen. This country has to change the way we. Treat black people. It's amazing that when you look at other countries in think apartheid. It's like Oh my God. Apartheid was so bad. I sometimes feel like going. What the Hell do you think is going on here? In this country in the world, we still practice in apartheid. It's just palatable now. So annotate. Have them anymore, but what we do, we segregated. To. Parts of town. Out Wide. Urban housing the way you have it. There's a reason for it. Okay. Let's put this all over here. Okay, and we don't have to deal with. And then what we'll do is your school. System is worse. Your healthcare is were worse. You have more crime mayor. There is no transportation. There's no way to get out. That's just another form of a plantation. That's all, but it doesn't mean it can't change and it doesn't mean that I'm not hopeful. I am because I think this is much different than other. Movements have been because I. Think there's. A larger consensus that seeing this and going well. Wait a minute. Is as happening. Yeah, so, how does this compare this movement? Compared to growing up in the sixties with your mother is an activist. I think they're more people involved with this I, think. They're more groups involved at this. And this has become a huge young movement. It's amazing. They are out there. It's almost like the baton was passed. You know and they understand this. I think the other thing that's changed is that. There's so much. You're able to see more. What's going on Yup Yup with you know we have televisions Yeah Yep. You can't hide it anymore Yup and you can't turn away from it so even if you don't want to deal with it, you're bombarded with twenty four seven, so I think social media's huge change in this within the others ID positive. Honestly, a lot of people say social media's a negative thing, but this. In this case, this is a positive because you can't escape it. You can't. Can't turn it off. You have to acknowledge this happened. Yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't mean that you agree with everything that you're saying saying it doesn't mean that you agree with all of the media outlets, but media is there now, and it's in the forefront and I think that made a big difference. I really did because it makes it really hard to sit back and court. And it trigger. And then I think the other thing really is the generation that's really taken over this cost I'm. I'm really moved by how many people are affected by this? And how many people are fighting so hard for this young old, black, White Asian, you name it whatever this is caused, and it's become a humanitarian cause and I think that's what needed to happen. Really changed to really change and make the ship. Pay It's Carolina. Hobby. It doesn't matter how many times it's been said before home is where the heart is especially now when we're all home more than ever, but that means might be noticing things around the house that need improving well. Not everyone has the means to do a full renovation. There's some small changes you can make to help. Improve Your home. Thanks to our friends at blinds, DOT COM, they make it simple to shop top quality blinds, shades and interior shutters from home with easy online, ordering and free. Shipping Window treatments are as simple project you can do. Do that really benefit the feel of your home. Experts say not getting enough. Sun Can increase the levels of stress hormones in your body considered light filtering window treatments, roller shades cellular shades and more to transform your home into even more of a sanctuary. If you're nervous about doing it yourself, there's really no reason to be fines. Dot Com has helped millions of homeowners through this process with free online design help, plus they guarantee the perfect fit. Go to blinds, dot com to see how you can reimagined the look of your home today. Rules and restrictions may apply. So, how if you could? Write the laws to make it. How do what would be the change that needs to happen from the top down? How do what needs to happen there to make it just an equal point? Question or anything? That's you know what if I had the answer? I would definitely run for office would be number one. I think the number one thing now. Is the one power that we have. That, even though we have voter suppression still, and that's another form of institutional racism. To Take that right that you have and don't let anyone stop you from doing it and go vote. You don't like what's going on both people out. You WanNa. Law Put into existence voted in. To realize that that one little bit of power. You do whatever you have to do to hold onto it and then execute that power. And be educated about what you want. What laws are? What's going on in your city? So be educated about what you're voting for who you're voting for. What's going on? What do you want done in your communities? What do you want done in your country? What do you want done for you and go out and vote for it and don't let anybody stop you go to a polling house. It's closed fine I'll go to the next one. You're not registered I need this complaint. If somebody's telling you. You can't use your driver's license. Go to a new station. Get them involved. Get the light shining on it, but you get out and you go vote and bats where you can make the change 'cause. At in at the end of the day. We can control. WHO's in office. And what we like and don't like. We even have the power to sit there and go. You know what I'm done with this I. Don't like what's going on now. We can fire you. You know so. I think that's a really big. That's how I would change it and really think about what needs to be changed. HOW DO YOU CHANGE INSTITUTIONAL RACISM? Well, there's. There's A. There's so many things that you have to change. It's not even funny if you want to change about education. Work on changing laws about how your property taxes are used to pay for education. A reason that where we live, we have a great school. The property taxes that we pay. There's a reason why I'm. Bell me. You have great public schools. The property taxes they pay will. Maybe we need to start working on property? Taxes aren't just for that neighborhood. There's a pool where it's divided. And that's the way it works. Maybe we need to think about that, but that's all about voting and that's all about policy reform. Talk to me about Voter Suppression, Hal Hal. Is that still a thing? Yeah it! Isn't that amazing? So, what are the qualifications that you need in order to vote? You and I it's easy, I just take my driver's license, and I go in you now. I, take it if I didn't have my driver's license I'd take. My birth certificate I'd registered abode. I know how to do all this. What if you don't have a driver's license? Out people who don't have mailboxes what about people who don't have regular addresses? Poor people don't live like everybody else lives. You know it's a lot harder to communicate with them. I think he does have if you don't have a license and if you don't have an address really. then. You. You're out. Yeah, and why do you not have the right to vote? Just because you don't have a driver's license? Just because you don't have an address, just because you might have a Po box, you might be homeless. Does that mean that I don't have a right to vote? Or who I want an office, there are other suppression tactics that are done. How about long lines? About things like that. How about people can't afford to take off to go vote? And now you want to get rid of mail in ballots. How about people can't make it to Opole. They're all sorts of subtle boaters suppressions, but it's our job as a community as humans to make sure that we get information out there, and that's how go media. That's how mainstream media that's how the news reading things talking to people. GO KNOCK ON! Your neighbor's store. Asked them if they need a ride to go vote. So, yeah, and yes, it still goes on. That was evidenced in Georgia you know when they were shutting down and people and people don't realize that's a pression that goes on all over. So what's really interesting? Is that black? His story is taken out and it's it's separated. Lack history is in black history lack history. Is American history? American history as much of every. It's in those history books that we're teaching our kids. Half of that book should be filled up by lack history, because black history is American history without black history. We wouldn't have in America and it starts with the kidnapping. Of millions of black people, and then brought to this country, and in late start the history there was the Trans Atlantic slave trade. They brought them to this country. Of the slaves, the black people that made it, they were then enslaved in this country. When slavery was abolished. It then took two and a half more years for certain states to even adhere to that and once black people were given property, because the value of a man was equal to the property that you own or the fact that you could even own property. And that was one of the laws. When you were a slave, you were not allowed to own property. Because basically you work a human being. And even when those laws were changed, there was only so much you. The black man was only given a little bit of property. And guess with that said that said you're not quite human. Yeah, so you can't have all this property. And that's the mentality that has gone from decade to decade to decade to decade. That's always been underlying. You're not human, so you don't deserve this, so you can be treated like that. Your property. That's why I think they just did a statistic about how much property black America owns. And it might be seven percent. Either seven or thirteen percent, how the hell do you go with one group of people only owing owning seven to thirteen percent of the property in the United States of America? Where's your value there? Where's your power? So it's an interesting thing. The Look at there's a lot to saul. But like I said I am hopeful because I think. It all starts by the dialogue it all starts bike knowledgeable, and then it all starts by doing what we can do. Recognizing needs to be changed and then change it like a can't stop now. So this is good what you're doing here. Law I appreciate it I feel completely. Nervous like I'm fumbling through this because it's such a big topic and I. Respect the heading of it so much don't WanNa misstep and I don't want to say something, stupid or wrong or ignorant, but like I was talking to my friend tomorrow. She's like you're gonNA. Probably say something stupid. You're probably GONNA. Say Ignorant, but the point is just to start talking, and that's why it's so important to me to talk to my incredible black friends in. In particular right now at this moment in time, because I want to hear your perspective and I want to hear your voice in your thought on it to broaden my mind into broaden anyone's mind. Who's listening to this just so we can get comfortable talking about this in talking about. How can we make changes in our daily lives up to help? Push this movement forward. I think that's a great way to look at it and I love the other part about being messy, so there's that saying that success is messy. It is a what. Ya I don't mind the mess. Don't. And you actually the conversation that you have with your other friend, my friend Mickey Guidon was part of that, and she has been pushing for this for a long time. Being a black woman in the country music scene in wind, she started and having a break into it, and then having the take back. What's hers and make sure this is Her story? Her truth I think is brilliant and I love what she's doing. Mickey has been a voice, a powerful voice for as long as she like you said has been in the country music industry, and she never has quieted herself, and she's never been scared to speak out and I am. So. Just. Amaze in excited to see where her voice will continue to go, because I really do think she's being poised as a leader in country music right now, and she has a message, and she has a powerful song black like me out, and she's acting in love, and she showing us an example of how we can. Bridge this gap just like you are just like Amara is just like all of these incredible black men and women are, but now it's like like you said. All of us need to be a part of movement. We all need to be a part of it. It's going to take us all just to change the way with think or have been. Deep little things dislike you said embedded in us that we don't even realize we need to reprogram ourselves because we just need all of us to be part of this. Yes and we need to be honest with ourselves. We need to be honest with ourselves. It's not pretty. It really isn't and nobody wants to sit back and know that. They've had a part in this I. Don't WanNa sit back and know that I've had a part of this especially with my mother being such. She was an activist. I don't WanNa sit back. I have my own little triggers. Of Racism. You know how I'd view. Other black people. I didn't think I had racism going on, but I do I can't lie. There have been moments when I walked down the street and advice safe. Four young black men walking down one sided the street dress one way, and I see four non black men walking down. The street dressed the same way. What is my mind say? The street is safer to walk on. And I have to be honest. What is my answer? I don't know now. My answer might be different. But there have been times when that's. The point asks. The good point is to like realize why we feel that way. Why have we? Why did we have those thoughts in her head in? How can we change it? Yes? And that's what I mean by. Everyone has to be honest. And I think that's why it took me the two weeks like really shook me up. I was like what part by played in this has my silence play a part in? It has my being so wrapped up in my life, and not thinking about anything else paid a part of it. Have I not paid my dues? I not been doing what I'm supposed to do. A lot of the answers to that. Was Yes. and. That was a day of reckoning So. What has changed in you since that day. A MORE AWARE More responsible. For how I navigate. And goes to this life and more intentional, and I'm speaking out if I hear something. That's not right. There might have been a moment where I would have been like. You know I'll just shake my head and walk around like YEP now. Sorry. Not GonNa. Let that go by and as a matter of fact, I'm GonNa take the. I'm sorry out of that exactly exactly and it's all true. Exactly. I'm not sorry. It's also discussing it to. Like sometimes, your first reaction is to be angry. And just to shut down and be angry. I'm learning to be still for a moment. Absorb it. And then start the dialogue. That's that's really that's a mad changes. At big of you Tony because it is easy to WANNA. Be Angry, but it's so powerful when you can actually calmly explain. Your perspective, people listen you know, will you? They acted like they listen more. Yeah I think the anger the attention. Yeah, but you have to be something after that now once the anger gets the tension. How are you going to hold the attention? And how are you going to make a change and that's listening? On both sides going back and forth because I believe a lot of this comes out of ignorance. You know an old habits that have just been pass down. Yep Tapes. We all have to excuse. To thing in the world, it's not being intentional checking our own selves in. That's where I feel like we all need to be like okay. What are my beliefs? What do I stand for? How do I WANNA? Be Part of this, not just like what I've. Grown up in order experience that I've just happened to be in like. I'm actually got to take accountability for myself and I. Think everyone has to do that. Take Accountability for yourself in. Do you hold beliefs? Examine them. Clearing Out Then if they need. Clear them out. And it's hard work. It is hard work and it's the work. But guess what that's. What change is all about and most of all? It's messy. Really riggan messy yet, but that's okay, but out of mass comes something better. So we have to go through all of this message this because it's been four hundred plus years of Mess GonNa be Messy. It's GONNA be Maffei. But this is a way of cleaning up. This is a way of realizing what's going on for both you and me and our community. It is it's a great awakening I feel it. I feel like the twenty twenty has been a year of the awakening like it is like. God The universe. A higher power is like okay. You're go into it all. We're going to go Pilaniya liars back and. It's time to deal with some stuff. I like to say, it's like you know when you're on a train. If you pull that terrain, stop and the whole thing comes to a screeching halt yet. That's exactly what happened in the world, but it happened globally in the whole narrowed has come to a screeching stop. In it's like hanging out. Is the giving I guess it's giving the world a chance to bring up these issues that addressed. It's. It's almost like the whole world stopped and not only that, but now it's not just the emperor has no clothes. No one has been close. Everybody's been stripped down. Yes, and it's ugly. It's ugly, but that's okay. It's ugly and it's messy, but we gotta get through this or else. I truly believe that the other differences is we don't solve this. We are going to employ. This is the last chance for the chained. If! It doesn't happen. I! Don't know what's going to be. Left afterwards, we will implode. That's so interesting. As. It has to be addressed like yeah. It, can't we don't have a choice now? Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow, that's big! That's really. That's a great point that's hit. May and we have to end the messes everything. So what I said was so this is. Physical disease, moral disease, spiritual disease, every kind of disease possible if we do not take care of this. That's the implosion. Because it's everything. Wow physical more. Spiritual Health. Yeah wow it's. But that includes everything social disease everything our environment environmental disease. It's all come to full head at the same time and guess what we don't have a choice. So. It's heavy. It's heavy. It's heavier living through. We are living through a moment. That will mark history right now. And I pray English Shift Yup. We're in the shift and they're only. They're only been a couple of shifts throughout the world and the world's history. When are you just happen to be in the middle? What role I think you had one. I think you had one from even if you want to go back to biblical times. You've had a shift from the Romans. Okay, then you go to diseases, you've had the black plague, which shut down the whole world. Okay, then you've had wars. That shut down the whole world I. Don't know that we've had so many things, said The Globe. It's actually been able to stop the globe. And I think that's what we're in now, and that's one of those major shifts that changes everything. We had a period where we went from the Ice Age. Into this age. And I do believe that there's a time when. The Earth has to change. And there's gotTa be another shift on the access, and that's what we're in the middle of, and that's why it is so difficult, and that's why so many things are happening, and that's why if we do not do what we're supposed to do because that is part of the shift. We won't have anything left to change. You know so. There's just there's no choice now to let's get to work. that's exactly what it is. Isn't even about me anymore. This is about the next generation. It's coming up. And the one after that and after that. What is the new World GonNA look like? What is your hope for the new world? Well! That's a big question. Obviously quality, but I'd really like to see. Humankind. I really would. and. I'd like to see an evolution of the spirit. And I'm not talking login or anything else. Justin evolution of the spirit I think. It's time for man to evolve again. It's our obligation. It's our path. It's our process so what I'd really like to see. Isn't evolution. Of A more developed spirit. Because I think we've been in the NEOM yet. We've been in Louisiana Ortho stage bomb. More just compassion more awareness airforce. Is that what you mean by that? Yeah I mean well I. Mean a Evolution of your spirit. That there's growth that happens that the spirit is more than just you me, and you know my dog, my child, my mom, my dad, the spirit is the collectiveness of everything. That needs to change. That needs to evolve. What is your spirit? What do we? How do we navigate life? Have we live light? What A WE LE- life! What are we giving back? It's their spirit. Because that remains the body goes. The spirit stays, and that's evidence by all of the tapes that we still live. It is our obligation to evolve as spirit and take care of our world. Take care of each up. There take care of ourselves. Honor yourself is. You're so smart. I'm just old. I like to. Soul. I really really appreciate you coming on here and having such a thoughtful dot invoking conversation with me and my listeners, thank you for. Letting me have this conversation I like I, said floor. It's awkward to have these conversations, but it has happened in I'm just past the point of feeling awkward about it anymore. I JUST WANNA. Get in there and talk about it, so I appreciate you coming on I always end my interviews lear light. And what do you want people to know? Well that's that's a great question. That we all feel pain. And we're all here. To convert that pain, we're off to comfort that pain. All feel thing the world the world is full of. So much pain! It's hard to bear. But that you're right, we're all hearing comfort each other's pain, so let's start viewing each other as real brothers and sisters, and not putting up all. Over the place in work as a big. Group effort. Let's be a better team as a humanity. Yeah, let's. Let's just be better. Yeah. I love, I know. My last spot is at my Angelo has one of my favorite sayings. And she says you do better when you know better. I love that saying. One of my favorite sayings him. So let's know better do better. I love that Tony. Thank you I wanNA. Thank you for and I. Really do this meant a lot. Oh, it did and I so appreciate. It Means You come on here and talk to me about this I really appreciate you so mutual admiration club. I love you. I love your heart. Is Conversation and I don't want to end the conversation without telling everyone where to go beneath realtor in national, so drops your Info and then I'll put it in the in my tag as well, but where can people find you? Find You at Tony? Thomas, realtor, so you smell it out. C. N. I. T. H., no Mis Rios Her R. E. A. L.. I. T. O. R. E. R.. At G., mail okay. Or. Call me at nine, four, nine, six, three, three, eight, six, five, eight. Okay, awesome. Yes, thank you so much for joining new friends and. I know that beautiful baby and your beautiful husband I so appreciate you and I love you to the moon in bath right back at you. Thank you so much much loved you Tony Thank you bye I. Young world, the world's edge zoos I AC- the producer of the. Show podcast featuring meant other than myself. Pockets PIPPI keeping you in the know with the latest. He'll fair, but celebrities, current events and providing pre game. Join the top of the town because it's going down the baller Marshall podcast. Only top of the latest in entertainment, but we bring you the entertainment directly from the source. That's right. We have celebrity guest host. Interviews. Down on the. Show podcast we argued number one source for the culture so like DJ called- says don't ever play yourself during the conversation today. Come on over to the. Join Me Ferrari. Simple Offer do from the OCC on the baller show podcast. iheartradio APP on Apple podcasts wherever you get your podcast. twenty-seven club is a podcast about famous musicians who died prematurely in sometimes mysteriously at the age twenty. This podcast is hosted by me. Jake Brennan Creator and host of the award, winning music and true crime podcast, disgrace slant, season, two features, twelve episodes of life and death of Jim, Morrison of the doors, and the twenty-seven contains adult content and explicit language. You can listen to the twenty seven club on iheartradio, apple, podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

Tony Thomas America black community apple Nashville Coretta Scott King spotify Vlad Knight southern living magazine Caroline Hobby Philadelphia. Leith
Favorite Get Real Interview of 2020: Sara Evans: superstar singer gives me epic marriage and motherhood advice & talks about life on the road w kids plus her newest album Copy That.

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

48:09 min | 7 months ago

Favorite Get Real Interview of 2020: Sara Evans: superstar singer gives me epic marriage and motherhood advice & talks about life on the road w kids plus her newest album Copy That.

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That's verizon hey friends it's caroline hobby here and i wanted to share with you. One of my favorite episodes that i recorded this year. It was right when quarantine hit. We all were trying to navigate this wild year. We still are trying to navigate this wild year and i got the chance to interview sarah evans the country sensation star beautiful mama. She shares with me her musical journey. She talks about new music. She gives me tons of parenting advice. That is just so good. So i wanted to share this when again because it is one of my favorite episodes. So here is sarah evans and i hope you all had the marius christmas and we'll have the most blessed new year kid queen in music not just there. Are you fantastic. Doing i'm good did. So how are you holding up in quarantine. Well i drink good. you know. it's it's time like it's really getting to that point where it's time but we're going to the beach actually tomorrow for a little over a week and so that's gonna be a nice change of scenery. Oh my gosh totally. I feel you like the first month. I was sort of freaked out. Thought everything was just coming to a total in. It was. Armageddon is what i felt like. And i'm like okay. We just have to figure out how to have a new normal now like this is going to be life for a minute. I think yeah. I mean it. S you know it is becoming just sort of this weird like if you think about it and you're one way if you think another way about it your another way and it's like you know i mean i need to get back to work. Everybody facts work and people are running out of money and it's just To me it's just very very overblown. But that's just my opinion and ito. Obviously it's so awful and tragic for anyone who has died from it or had a family or miss so you don't you know taking out of it but the other aspect of it is just that you know we gotta get back to work. We gotta working. We have to be Sorry here we have to be reasonable. Here let's apply something that works with votes higra totally up so you get in hints getting back to work. You've recorded a new album. And i got the privilege to listen to. It called copy that. Wow what a treasure this is. You know what inspired you to do this album. Because it's all of these covers of songs that have influenced you classic amazing songs that have really inspired you. What gave you this amazing idea to do this. Because it's just awesome you so much. I'm so proud of that I don't think i've ever been more excited to release an album than this one in. That sounds weird because on other projects. Like i've written most of the songs or you know in so you would think that i would be more excited about original stuff but i don't know so i started seeing. That was four years old with my brothers in the family band and so we were a cover band. It's so my entire life has been spent on stage covering songs and we would play like bars and wedding dances in rodeos bears and festivals and But especially like in the bar scene we would do nine pm to one a m shows and in a cover band. You have to be good at choosing cover songs. What have you wanna hear. what are the classics. But what are also some cohen's you may be surprised by so. I spent my entire life doing that. Until i moved to nashville and got a record deal. So i've been wanting to do. This covers album my whole life and waiting for the right time. And so i back to national from alabama in august and. I knew that i wanted to get right and see has been a few years since my last album words and my manager was like. Hey you should listen to resting halley's rocker so good so good watching it like it. Took me a while to listen to it. Because i'm slow to. I don't know it takes me a while to listen to new stuff in in the right head space and also i was thinking of. He's probably just going to be like another country in it. You know just going to be like that. And i was super shots in amazed at his album in in the production of the songs in his voice. Mean there's nothing about him that broke country. He's just frigging awesome. Sounds like who produce that. I want to work with him. And that's what i always. I've always done that throughout my career lake. You played drums on that album. I want him. He sang on that. I want him and so we tracked down yard k. You produce reston's record. We had a few meetings and Because time was a little bit of the essence. I just said hey. Would you Our first project together being covers. Oh my gosh getting a phone call. Let me decline worse hay day. My podcast is called. Get real with your hobby. It's all about real life so we're making it work in the days of quarantine right now. We are now is easy to just decline him. Okay so Anyway in he was like yeah. Sure that'd be great and then our thought process was that right. After the covers album we would start writing for for the next project in know another original album so we just immediately hit it off. We saw ida. I on all of the songs that we chose And it was really hard to choose the songs because there are obviously millions a songs so now. That's a big task to narrow down v covers. You're going to choose forward this epic album that you're making i mean that's i'm sure that was really overwhelming to pick the songs. Yeah it was You know there are a few that. I just knew for sure. Like i've got to have patsy. Kline gotta have hank williams But as far as everything else. I started listening to like seventies on seven eighty eight in getting opinions from my family. Like a crazy love. Was my brothers idea. My brothers my bass player. And that was that i hadn't thought as in years all of these songs are songs that i think are surprising. But they're not obvious covers like i'm not covering sweet home. Alabama are. keep your hands to yourself. Like i think that everybody is going to be like. Oh yeah i remember that. Oh yeah. I haven't thought about that song. Also all the songs needed to be really authentic to me. In something that that i would seeing But yet would still surprised like my sharona. I think no one would ever expect music. Maestro come on eileen. I love both of those. Those resent yet eight thank you. My sharana was a lay choice. Got an car one day and it was on and i was like. Oh my gosh like this makes me go so happy and so fine Bahasa we eventually just relax him. We have to discipline ourselves in. Say this is it. This is a list and then it made me feel better to well. I can always do a volume. -til right right. I love that. This is the first album own record label born to fly records which is also kind of a big deal because it is the twentieth anniversary of born to fly. How can that be. I remember when that song came out in your in the music video. The wizard of all scarecrows. Near like yesterday i mean is one of the most impact songs album. I feel like in country music history. Really how i don't know honestly i mean it's frightening. How fast time is by and born. Fly has been really really good to me changed. My career catapulted me to you. Know another level and It's definitely my theme song. Memoir coming on of september call warns lie. And it just says it all you know that if you follow your dreams and you believe in yourself and you know that you're meant to do something that we're all born to fly in our own zeal so in your memoir or the fly. What do you kinda talk about. What has your journey been like. Well it's not like a full blown autobiography so it's Just some stories that really stand out about my life than I definitely a talk about my parents divorce. I talk about getting hit by a car. When i was eight years old until yes in detail. A lot of people don't even know this about me and then there's weather then well. I was crossing highway on our at the end of our long driveway. So you know we Wear out of the middle of nowhere in central missouri. All these winding country roads and our driveway was down in the middle of two hills and our neighbor was just full lying Into town and she was going seventy five miles an hour in hit me on the left side and it broke both my legs both my arms. I was unconscious for like three days and it was a tremendous journey to get get through that and recover thousand hospital for six weeks and i had four siblings already On third oldest seven so my parents report farmers and it was just. It was very debilitating for the whole family In i didn't leave the hospital bed for six weeks. Wow yes i talk about that. I talk about another thing. That's that i'm for the readers but it's like a major major major thing that happened to me that people are just gonna be like. Oh my gosh Another near death. Experience that i survived and i talk a little bit about my divorce and it's kind of that but also with leaving sunny in giving my opinions about parenting and being a wise than you know being an artist and i talked about country music today and so i give a lot of unsolicited opinions advice. I love that. What are some new mom. I have a seven month old little girl. Thank you so much. What is your parenting advice. Always said that you know you need to be chill. Parents should be relaxed and your children and you should raise your children So that they are joyce he you and not annoy or vernon and the thing that makes them annoying or a burden is if you give them the control and you spoil them in you. Don't discipline them. And i say that is between birth and five that you really need to get that you know established between you and your child that they need to respect you and but at the same time you also have to respect them as they grow so. I've never been apparent that yells at our children have never been like super strict and let him have it really long. You know roper. Whatever to speak. And then i'll just kind of rain back in. If i feel like they're they're getting in trouble. Never try to control my children. Put down too many rules for them. But instead i've tried to teach them great common sense. And don't don't be stupid about your decisions you know but all of that starts when they're little so i always say choose your battles but like you said something's going to happen in you want something to happen especially with like around three years old You have to win every time you have two wins giving example while like you know if you're have you say Put on your coats. Were leaving and the child won't put on their coats. And you you're like they have spent undercoat because it's cold outside. You have to make that happen late in other words if you go to the car and you g- lost that battle in the child doesn't put their code on after a fight. Then that has something in in the brain in my opinion in their personality. Says you're not serious when you say do something and soon that just goes along with the home respect factor so if you want them to put on their they have to. I mean they just have to you and you have to win that but if you don't then it's it's a real slippery slope in so many parents that i see. These days are afraid of their children. They're afraid to hurt their feelings or disappoint them or discipline them. I just find that to be ludicrous. Because sooner need that they want that. That's how they feel loves. And i have a real mutual respect with my children. My youngest team is twenty. And i think they would all say that. I've been really really relaxed mother. But we've never had any trouble. Nobody's ever gotten in big trouble No one's ever extremely disobeyed or done anything crazy And i think communication is key. You gotta talk to your kids and really really you have to respect them to older. Don't scream at them. You know just Discipline that's great advice. That's really great advice. And when you give your children a long rope then they probably don't feel the need to rebel against you because you're letting them try what they wanna try your leading an explorer their personalities their interests. And then you just come in and you're like okay. This is the line too far when it gets you got but then besides that i let them be themselves exactly. I mean you showed them respect human beings and you know. I've never understand parents. You like freak out over grades or you know something like that. It just don't matter what matters is their hearts and what kind of people they're becoming and i've always all of my emphasis on that like be good people and put others first and have a great heart. You know love. God love others. Love your family and show respect for all of those things and yes so i think you know and my kids grew up on the roads use so they had like a strange upbringing. Were they were always traveling. Always catching flies with me so they had to adjust so if i said put on your coat relieving they had to. It was like we have a plane to catch. Re of this new. And i was never uptight about. They have to stick to their sleep schedule or there might be told me he was like. Don't worry about that when you when you get to the west coast. Put him on west coast time when you get back home. Put him back on. Central time like it doesn't have to be so rigid also. Don't try to potty train three oh good. Don't get it and it's way too many tears or spankings or whatever i mean. I've never cared about that kind of like. They're going to do it when they do it. Right out let developmental stuff like that. I was never freaked out about it. But i think they don't really understand training till they're three. That's great advice so when your career just skyrocketed with born to fly. What does that feel like going from singing your whole life obviously being in a family band to having this dream of probably did you have a dream of being mainstream successful or were you just always wanting to seeing and that just happened to come along but what is it. Lie when all of a sudden you're on a worldwide level in knows you. What does that feel well. I grew up on stage. So i've always been like the center of attention in my family like i'm the oldest girl and so all my sisters can saying just like me but i because i was the oldest girl. I was the the wine and i knew it was my colleague. Manny that it's that. I would need to national that i would become Like loretta lynn or reba. You know but there is no question in my mind. I knew that. If i got if i if i beginning a room with somebody in sing for them than than i get and i would make it because i just knew that i had you know and i just know that You can't teach singing. Not being like i've had somebody will ask like should my daughter really wants to I'm like yeah. I mean if she if she wants to sing like for five minutes. she's not born with a than vocal. Lessons are not gonna help because worn Like you know people who can speak other languages like that's a gift that you're born with you know and i can't do math. I mean i can't add eight plus nine so i just knew that you know i'm gonna move to national. I'm gonna get a record deal and so it wasn't something that really shocked me The success with the hard part the part that did shock me was the difficulty in getting played at country radio and how that was never a given. That was something that you had to work for every single time. You put out a single. Never something that that came easy. Was it as hard for women. Twenty years ago when born fly came out as it is now. Because i feel like this conversation which i'm so glad the conversation is loud right now about the absence of women country music and i think you know a lot of people are trying to make a change of that but was it is was it as notable then to that women weren't being played as no not at all mean when i can onto the scene i had so much all competition so when i got my record deal these the women already on the radio Bay hill reba. Martina mcbride patty loveless tricia earwood leeann. Womack leeann rhymes Dixie chicks on. I mean i it was it was so different and then it just like to me. I market to like around the tonle. Brian released country girl. Shake it for me. That song and then Florida georgia line and to me. That's when all of it kicked in and just became like the biggest bad that's ever hit country music and it hasn't gone away you know and it's not a little bit better and it's not but i don't even know that i consider myself still in the genre because you know they don't play any new music from me or any of my peers. Know that i started out with the with born to fly. women were very very dominate. At country. Radio caroline hobby. And i wanna tell you about a stylish safety shoe company. That's changing the game for women. Ana craft female engineers struggled to find work boots. That would allow her to dress professionally for meetings and be safe in manufacturing environments so she founded zena work and developed the world's first stylish steel toed shoe zena work wear designs products that help women feel their best anywhere. Discover your new work sal. Zena work where dot com that's x. e. n. a. work where dot com to lindy the july toe and the clear jar that you've seen around but sometimes the name escapes your tongue. The woman five layers and he's jar like vanilla fudge cookie or layers like chocolate cherry cheesecake. That clear dr. That's lengthy. Let's introduce you meet smooth creamy july in a jar made with real ingredients source from around. The world made the traditional way pretentious indulgent absolutely to raise the jar. How has that adjustment. Ben seeing the change from anyone horrible. I mean i cried. My family has cried. It's definitely changed my life my income and it's weird because people will say like i'm so glad you're back with a new almar year when i'm like i've never stopped And in fact you mentioned this covers record. Being the first one awarded records specialists and said the one. I put out a couple years ago. Called words was the first one warner fly. I've never stopped writing making music. I'm a better singer today than i was with born. Live for sure Better performer writer. And i still tour all this high so it's just funny that if people in it there are a lot of other ways to get music out. But it's still primarily mainstream radios. Help people hear about you because the majority of middle america. I like where i'm from. They're still getting their cars and turning on the radio so if you're not being heard with new music than they don't think you're doing it still right. Where's the like having your own record deal. Record label You know it's it's it's not that different. I mean i have a group you know of my management company that helped me run it and really run it for me. And it's it's it's more just mean having all the decision making and so everything is now my shoulders. Like i used to call and be like yeah i can. Can you send a box of cities to mom. And they'd be like sure and now that you know everything has on me. I might mom you get one cd in that. Don't leave but it's fun because all the photo shoots all of it is is completely at the end of the day. My decision with you know. I'm getting another call. Hold on without anybody. You know kind of weighing in but at the same time you know. I i was very very lucky. I have martina on my instagram. Live the other night. She ni- we're talking. My how lucky we were to come up at that time because we were very spoiled. We had huge budgets and we have a huge team behind that were pushing us and financing us and that was an amazing Since of security to have so kind of jumping back to all the roles that you played you talked about sitting your mom box cds and being one of seven kids want to seven kids. Right in you have four. Is that correct there. Every three kids. I have three in. My husband has four so the all have seven seven together. Yeah so what has being a mother taught you. Oh my gosh just i. I was born to be a mom as well. That's been my time. David job over anything but it just changes you constant selflessness and that you know you're not Not living for yourself but trying to find that balance of not completely living for your kids. Either and i think it's been. It's been fun for mike because my kids are all musicians as well. So they've grown up watching me. Be the star on stage in and have a career but at the same time strike his balance of trying to be a great homemaker and a great wise and mom so it it teaches me something every day. i mean. i'm still learning still two teenage daughters that they amaze me all the time and grow every day just by being with them. I think that's the dream though to be a year such an example for women. Because you have chase your dreams and you have pursued what was on your heart and your calling and you never stop that too. I only have to a mom. And i think that is absolutely amazing. And we do have a calling to do something on your elements takes time and energy and it's a passion that you have to pursue sometimes women's sacrifice that for their children and i feel like that can be a sadness that women feel with deal with if they do that so to figure out a way to balance it all to me. That is the dream to be a great mom to be a great wife and to be able to do your passion. That's just amazing in such a. You're such an example of that. And i'm sure as easy but you stuck with it and you found your way through this journey. Yeah there were some very difficult times You know like. I had a manager that he was in his me with brunner van meter who she was my main manager for years and we had a ton of success together but I remember calling him. When i found out i was pregnant with avery. My son he's twenty and and he said the f. word that was his response to me and i fired in the next day. Because i'm like. I'm not gonna have any team that makes me go bad and exhibited cry. Yeah it was terrible. And i had already had a number one record now deal that i made with myself that i'm not gonna have a child until i have a number one. You know so just like crying in not not being quite so much in the struggle. When i had my first child. That was my goal Dryer and wanted to be more established. Get that hustle struggle part out of the way. Because i mean obviously you're going to have to work it forever but just to get the foundation laid. Yes because i needed money for nanny and you know just money to be able to do that. In my solution with striking that balance was to take the kids with me. Like i'm just gonna take everywhere. I go and everybody can just deal with it and but i wasn't gonna leave him for days at a time. You leave him with nanny to raise. It was just not going to do that. That's not my personality so he literally went with me. everywhere. I went and Have the nanny. And sometimes i didn't even have a nanny Sleep with eight. When we were on tour with alan jackson. I could still only afford one bus. And so there are only enough for my crew so every night slept on the back couch together is like you need asleep this way because ask you know when the bus breaks that the cash went this way. So every time the Roelofsa couch practically other times that Were very difficult like when you're releasing album. They want you to do the radio to are those kinds of things. You can't your with you on you know So i i mean i had plenty of days where i would just sob like getting the call and realizing what the label wanted from me. Oh that is that. I mean that brings tears in my eyes to being a mom there. It is just this billing of connection and love that you've never experienced in your whole life into half to at times. leave them. I'm sure it's just heartbreaking. Yeah it was and it would make a furious to like when i would do that and then they wouldn't play the record right. You sacrifice sacrifice leaving your children because it's important It's like for what right. Yeah yeah so. I mean and then i just made a decision you know. Probably right after a slow me down that i was not gonna go to radio anymore because they just. I just realized that they weren't gonna play women. And that's when i opened my own label but yeah i mean. It was extremely difficult to have that career. I mean there was a year that saw audrey was a baby. She's my third my youngest and we released them places start. I also did a christmas album. I did a radio tour. Who are would brad paisley. And i think i did like three hundred appearances. That year was also had kind of a breakdown. I imagine i'm talking about that in my book but You know. Because i just trying to do it. All in in men don't have that they don't understand that responsibility in the way of like having to be like men just leaves and leave their kids with with their wife. You know the mom. And not as i was doing everything literally doing everything making all the money. Balancing all and thank god. My brother was in is still my bass player and his wife was my hair makeup wardrobe. So they really helped me raise my kids and my sisters toured with me alive. So what have you learned about the strength of a woman. I mean it's a miserable. You know i'm not like have a son so i don't ever like to bash men or say that men are amazing because men are amazing. My son's amazing and But i think that that men just have no way of understanding i have their own stresses and their own way that they carry the burdens bakery. But women. we just do it all and we. We know where everything is. We know how to do everything and still be great moms and have careers and you know we really really do Carry the bird. I mean we really do i. I think that's just the has been since the beginning of time and it's no one's fault necessarily i think it's just the way it is and so i think that women are really really the strongest between the two. He'll not physically but probably mentally and emotionally totally. I totally agree. I ever since becoming a mom. Now i i see that now i see like women like yourself who carried on a great career who have multiple children doing all this. I literally might. It is in mazing to me what a woman can do. A good truly is amazing. Instant commutable and show up and be this light to the world like wow. It's just it's really. It's really quite phenomenal. While the one thing i prayed for all the time is energy and he's ready and ask god to give me. Energy gives me the energy that i need and my mom is like that. She sees the hardest working woman ever person i've ever known. And she still has the same at seventy you know so I always pray that god would give me her kind of energy and just would never tire you know and it drives me crazy when i hear people say like you know we can't. We can't come over because you know we have the baby down seven thirty or i can't talk because i'm watching. The baby dislike my god. I mean you know. Having child doesn't have to take over everything. i think. It's very dangerous to give the child too much power in the home. They still need to know you know. They're plex and so jane. I've always done that with the kids like we have a time every night. We always put the kids to bed. No matter what even every comes home to visit will walk up to his room and tell him good night. You know sort of a bedtime you know. It's just the way of closing off the day but but they know that once we put you to bed in his. You know we say night night. It's our time so don't come down. Don't bother us you know. We've we've always drawn that line. How does boundaries and kids need those boundaries. They like it yeah. I love that what i needed. Wrap up soon Just a couple more questions. What was it like recording an album with your to your children. Because i listened to that and wild so is are in otter is singing with you. Yep fully smoke. She can sing live magazine. They're both just amazing in an audrey to is not as interested in doing music yet She's a dancer with all the music. Gene and It was phenomenal. I mean we were watching some footage yesterday in putting together a little like Real benzenes of making album and it was just amazing for me to see a very union. Ceo playing on my record. You know And he's they're both just. They're better than me. I mean they both are better than me and it. It makes me very proud but yeah you can hear. A is the one singing the end of the john mayer song all by and she's more like beyond xay type singer in the that that has been. It's very full circle. Avery has been in my band for the last couple of years. And so my drummer has been with me longer than a reason alive. So we all like is surreal. You know and you'll see when your child gets to that age is it is surreal Because it's full circle. And i remember when avery was baby running around on the stage now. He's playing guitar. What does that like to see. Your children grow into humans in discover their talents in become these people that are just using their purpose to bless the world like what is that experience like and then to do a project like this wisdom that has to be nothing short of spiritual really it is. I mean. I'm so grateful to god. I really am Live literally. I live for my family. I think family's the most important thing in the world and something to be such harish and It's it's amazing. I still so blessed. And i thank god every day for eight more into music but just like you said seeing them become who they are and watching them grow They didn't say isn't saying but you sort of you sort of always see them like i was just telling livia gets three. I'm like i always do sixth grade. Olivia we're dying laughing and But it's it's amazing. Every stage is amazing. And i'm sure you've already realized that having seven-month-old late everything is awesome and I used to be really afraid of light. Time going too fast and the kids growing up and getting really some at all and emotional about it but i just accepted that it's going to happen and there's nothing you can do about it and it's when people used to tell me like oh you're gonna love you're gonna love when they start dating or when they get married or when they have kids and that seems so far off to me But you do you love every phase of it you know and and we're not Really close to any of their grandparents. They still in missouri and so we're extremely tight. Our family is and We have so much fun. We have a lot of humor in our family. That's really always you. I love that. That's so good to have humor to keep it light. The world can be so heavy that you don't acknowledge what's happening but to have laughter. I really that truly is the best medicine. I totally agree totally. Watch your child's name. Sonny sonny sonny also cute. Yeah ninety grades the best time of your life. Oh it is. I wasn't emotional wreck the first three months like i cried every single day. Just like the enormous love. I felt i had never experienced anything. Like it in my life and it just like it's so overwhelming now at seven months of good. I'm levelling out a little bit with my hormones. She's like into real human. And i'm sort of embracing what you're saying instead of hanging onto every single day and just being like. Oh my gosh just like a breeze. Time knowing that it's just gonna keep getting better in her personality. Keep unfolding so i tried very hard to be present. Every day dislike like to really be there in the moment with her. Because i know. It's fast. And i don't want to regret it like missing it because i'm in a hurry anything so i'm just trying to be very present in stress. You know that's the. I i think so many bowl and again the thing that the only reason that i think parenting will be stressful. As if you spoil them and you make them Not fun to be around there. They're just very you know demand the amen and they won't obey they interrupt you all the times. You're trying to have a conversation with an adult. You need to train them to be like people are enjoyable to be with like when i want to hang out with this person. Yeah totally what did you learn for your near death experiences. What did you learn about the other side. While i'm learned from the one that i tell them the book that i sort of keeping for the readers I learned i mean. I know without doubt that. I'm saved in that. I'm going heaven. When i don't wanna die but i wasn't scared like i thought i would be. You know everybody imagines scenarios like that. But i learned that i just. I knew that. I was about to meet jesus and i just had that and there was calm. Came over me and then we ended up being okay but It ever meet jesus. Did you ever see him now. but i just have this this reassurance that i knew it was going to be okay. I love that. That's amazing. okay. We're gonna wrap up last question to questions and then we're going to go cause you have another interview coming up. Best marriage advice. What's the best marriage advice. And then i have one last quarter best. Mary's advice is don't be a bitch. Don't don't just sit around and think of things to worry about or be upset about or to bitch avow and just remember like if you had if you have a man in your life like a brother or your father had the worst allergies i'm like choking to or in my case i have signed and so every time i think about being means to my husband i think how would i want my son's wives to treat him that's why you should treat your spouse And vice versa. So i think just don't be a bitch. Don't just chill out and have fun and communicate because men don't understand they will not see the trash. They just won't see it. They'll never see. It is only a certain type of man that will it's like if he has been raised to really be that way or he has more whatever left to right brain but most men are just not gonna see it. They're not gonna think. I should make the bed and so what they need is for you to tell them. Hey will you make the bag. Will you take out the trash. But don't don't be a bitch about it and you know again if you have when you have a sign especially you you realize. Oh gosh i need to be the wife for my husband. And i want my son's wife to be that's really profound. You're very wise. You're very wise. They're like beautiful allege. Wrap my interviews would leave your light. Basically just a very broad question. What do you want people to know. I won't be able to know that other. Like how can i say this. I think that the key to happiness in life is freedom and feeling free to be. Think as you are you know and to Really believe that there is a guide and that there is a heaven and just to try to enjoy life like relate. Stop sweating the small stuff. I remember in my twenties. I would just worry. Think about things to worry about. And so many people have these days and it's all because of the fun it's all because of the is on everything we just spend way way way way way too much time looking at that damn phone instead of interacting with people and you can ask my family. That's my biggest pet peeve like you will not bring your phone to the dinner table and it's just really like even if we all sit down and watch a movie together. And i look over and you know i wouldn't say that's a season adult but like audrey if you're looking at phone maker get off the phone because even though you're in the round you're not watching this movie with us so only really cherish human interaction and allow people to be who they are and what they wanna think could stop trying to control everything and interest. God amen. I love that. Thank you so much for your gifts your music your talent your heart your soul everything your advice on marriage and parenting and gosh how exciting to have his new album coming out. Copy that everyone. I cannot wait for them. To check it out may fifteenth. Is that when the first single drop yup may team okay and it's a album comes out may fifteenth. We've got three cmos out. You know that we've already releasing another one coming out tonight. Abhay so exacting very exciting adding euler really really really gonna love this album. And they're going to be kind of shots that it's me and i love the cover of it. Is you with. Blonde hair like throwback. It's so cool. I wanted to be. I wanted to be like nuts. You know i love it. Yeah thank you so much for your time. You're congrats on your baby. Thank you so much okay. By by at american public university we believe quality. education must be more affordable. That's why as a leader in online higher education we focus on minimizing costs and maximizing return on learner and we believe higher education must be more accessible so our online programs start every month. American public university within reach without limits. Learn more at american public. You dot com fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. Is that shakespeare. it's gyco. That's shakespeare from one of his published works. Oh be not for awakening. Give the batteries for fifteen minutes. Could save you fifteen percent or more. No it's from geico. Because they help save people money. Well i hate to break it to you but geico got it from shakespeare geico fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percents or more.

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Mid-Week Mom & Dad Chat: By popular demand I have my hubby Michael Hobby back on!

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

54:19 min | 1 year ago

Mid-Week Mom & Dad Chat: By popular demand I have my hubby Michael Hobby back on!

"Payouts Caroline Hobby Self. Karen routine are always important. Whatever you're using to get ready for the Dacian make you feel amazing meet. Billy. They've recreated everyday essentials by delivering premium razors and high-performing bodycare directly to you know pink tax. No visit to the drugstore. No breaking the bank get started by going to my billy dot com slash. Get Real to get the best razor. You'll ever own trust me. I use it best part. The starter kit is just nine dollars. Plus free shipping always go to my billy dot com slash. Get Real Spelled B. I. E. dot com slash get real. Hey guys it's bobby bones. I host the bobby bones show and that pretty much always sleepy because I wake up at three o'clock in the morning a couple of hours later I get all my friends together. We get into a room and we do a radio show. We share our allies. We tell our stories. We try to find as much good in the world if he possibly can and we looked through the news of the day that you'll care about also your favorite country. Artists are always stopping by to hang out and share their lives and music to wake up with a bunch of my friends on ninety eight point. Seven W M Z Q in Washington DC or wherever the rotates you on the iheartradio APP after popular demand. We have my husband Michael Hobby back man. Give me a second. You know your third by cast one hailing Tyler Hubbard. Just me by myself like second one on one. I appreciate the request. We have not had enough time together. I think we should talk more bathing sunny today. And I'm like you sit on the toilet talk to me and I said talking to you all day for weeks but of course I went in there and I'll talk. We had a great town. I mean what are we even talk about? I want to grill. You want a grill freak him back. If you everybody out there is husband or wife cooks to has any tips for the right grill slash smoker. Tell everyone which you've narrowed it down to. I WANNA hear everybody else's opinion. All you do is look up caroline. She loves that. We've discovered over the scoring team. She loves smoked brisket beef brisket so she wants beef brisket during this whole thing. And that's on me. It's my say I'm a dream. Come true for me so might will now. I need the proper thing to smoke British. I would love to smoke some meat. You talk about a brisket smoker every day. At least I try our online conversation. Please you give you the meals. You want. You can turn it on me and said I didn't get you a smoker for your birthday today. I mean threw it out there lot. Figured maybe that would happen. But that's okay. It's not about gifts for birthdays. But I'd love to smoke a BRISKET CATCHES ZOOM. Call with like forty of your closest friend which was great. I thought that would mean something to you. It meant the world was awesome is very thoughtful and I appreciate it but I'd like to smoke you sent me and now you're like man we should go in and we should like we share a cow with somebody we should do a cow the cow share and we need to split some a cow. I think everybody in this quarantine is getting bored and all you can do is cook and I cook and our house I appreciate and so you got to come up with new things to cook things. Do I mean so on a health kick because we got back in Texas? We went to Texas for the first four. Weeks does breakfast lunch and dinner plus a Dr Pepper every day Dr Pepper every day. I'm back on my profile by Sanford kick. I talked to my consultant today. Colleen and for all y'all who haven't been following along with me. I've been on a health journey. Michael's been following along with me where I've been going to profile by Stanford. It's you can do it online. You can have a consultant. You can go in and talk to him since we're in quarantine. I'm talking on the phone. They design meal plans for you. How you get in shape. It's been great. I have to say I fell off the bandwagon more Texas hardcore and I told colleen that today and she said a lot of people have and don't feel bad about it but instead of feeling bad about it try to get to the root of why you were eating junk every day or like what you were doing and I think it was because I just WanNa fuck kid not worry. Dr Pepper made me feel like that. And plus it tastes so good everybody loves eating like a six year old but now back on it and I'm back on profile plan and I have been Peleton twice twice this week. Now you went up on me. I know we're on it together which I appreciate us doing this together but really fast. If you are interested in my health journey go to my highlights on my story it's called profile and you can learn all about it all along with me. Join in check them out. But we're really on a health kick now walk today. Peleton's Today we're just trying to stay active most hired and my back hurts all the time. I'm like my back hurts not corona because I know aching part of it so eight month old and she's crawling now. She is crawling and they go. I mean moms out there note everywhere. You're not supposed to go wherever there's a wire wherever there's a sharp object. We're there's something fall off of Air. She is that's it. I mean you give her all the toys play mats safe places to play in the world. What does she do? She wants to go for the electrical soccer. Though it is funny. What are your on the bed? You're playing what does she do? She dive straight for the edge of tested. The theory to see. Oh Man. I was in the bathroom the other day. And you had sunny on the bed and all the sudden here a squeal and I see her mid fall in the bed Qatar. I know the holter going straight down. It's like well you gotta make. I don't know maybe you make them realize that like danger but maybe that comes later. They don't think about it now. No but you know she was okay. I was watching. I know you're a great dad. You really are great. I've to say you're the sweetest you're the most fun always smile real big hitter. I've done pretty good. No complaints them. Your line know what something I could do. Better and worse. What's the what's how could I improve? What am I doing great? Oh that's a loaded question. I think you're doing great. You do absolutely. I think you're doing great. Yeah we both have our naturally anxieties of a first child. But just for this to be honest because this is a real conversation. I don't want all y'all think that Michael and I haven't fought during this first. Eight months of Sonny's life. I mean every you so if you're thinking like oh they just have it all together and there's perfect we've had some knock down drag outs. Being new parents exhausted down drugs. Well I mean for us. I mean. We're not knocking dragon. No yeah at like four in the morning when you're so tired your baby screaming. You probably aren't gonNA respond perfectly natural. Yeah I like the EU discharge it up to that. You don't take it too personal to serious. I don't either. I learned from me on that. There's such a country boy at heart. You're so black and white would step. Sometimes I like that about you a few questions then. I just have some questions. Bill what do you want us to chart right? He said well they girl. Sore sources shapes sizes colors have one main function. Yeah like opinions. They all stink just got married. Don't have a baby. Does sex change after a baby to sex questions. I will say there a difference between having sex and making love totally. You GotTa do both. Sometimes you're more Anna having sex face because you don't have time to make love but you gotta you gotTa keep the lovemaking in there. I think I think when you have a baby it just the the timeframe of all that is different. When it's just the two so enjoy just the two of you now. Yeah and then when you have a child which we hope you do if you want one between naps in as always baby monitor in the room and sometimes that goes off and what do you do well shit is sometimes you just gotTa work at into Your Day. Some does yes schedule it sometimes. It's like an APP. It's like okay. Let's do this. We have thirteen things to do in this one hour that she's sleeping so sex is one of the things on the list. It's not like you can figure important to keep it on the list. Don't worry about what you're getting booted off the list. No I think that's held every couple. You know know you would say that. We've put your Mica logo. Oh man that really got me shocker. Yeah Oh man just honest with all right. We're just we're just girlfriends talk show. It is important to this. How will say like we? Sometimes we get in little phases where it's like. We're only having sex not making love. And then we make we make a little love and remember why so important to like. Turn the lights down. Get a playlist going relaxed a little bit like take some time okay. That's all I have to say that every day because that's too much work. I mean I'm saying we got nobody got time for that all the time. The board to keep it on the list. What other questions get same order you want to talk about? What's on your. What are you in quarantine. What have you liked okay? Tell me what they're obviously. There's so many terrible things about what's happening in the world right now. We all know them but like that there's also a flipside where there are positive things so what are something. What's what's something that has surprised you that you have enjoyed during this lockdown. I think You know for me. It's like the permission which is weird to thank the permission to enjoy your family. Enjoy your time in like really like there's really nothing else you know you can do. I mean I'm still writing songs and and do a sign or not to radio and be looking for and you know the only difference. Res- is like we're just. We just can't go on tour. Which is a bummer. We miss seeing our friends and our crew and our family and in Rhode Family. And you know that that plus I. This is the first time in my life. I have not been on the road. It's an Rioja it's a readjustment for sure. Like when you first started staying home for awhile in the beginning I was like you got to go on the road. You're messing up my flow at home so very healthy relationship between you and outcomes that but you know so it it's it's been an adjustment to like actually figure out like okay. It's okay just like this is a moment in time. That will never forget this moment in time. That will never probably again. We don't and to really enjoy the people around you and the family and like do things that you've never been able to have time to do what you are doing. House handyman like work. I have never seen you do so many things around the house you have lately. Garages SPIC and span. Do sometimes plus. It's always like put some love into what you what you love. You love to power-wash I mean the whole house is power. Wash which I really appreciate you so I think that's kind of been one of the things that have been positive. It's also you know for me. I'm always like doing stuff and like working and like like doing so it's unnatural to like have a ripple and I think a lot of people feel that way out there like wait a minute. You know but you're also learning and discovering new ways to do things and be more productive to concentrate on important things in other important things as well. I think it's kind of opened up the world to a whole new way of working. You don't have to necessarily go into an office or yeah I mean doing meetings over zoom and write songs every man. Yeah I mean in your regular court whole songs I presume. Yeah we've been yet do it? So it's it's been Kinda cool with like you know. Kinda push yourself outside your comfort zone either first songwriting session of resume and you wrote a great song. We did that. And it's all a little weird weird I mean I think you know. Instead of focusing on what the negative side effects of this situation like the positive things that are coming out of it or just like people are growing in like doing things in in different ways than there used to getting out of their covers on which I think is a pretty cool deal you know. They're wearing a suit on top and sweatpants on the bottom. You had a zoom meeting today and you literally came out with your sweatpants on the bottom and you had on a button up all your necklaces. Hat everything on top of great. You still want great. You Still WanNa make an impression. Yeah but that's only because you can come see legs as the way I feel about you. What have you learned through this whole with this current situation? I'M GONNA interview the interviewer. I feel thankful and grateful that you and I like Carpe Diem. Seize the day and we went to Texas and hung out at the farm for month with my sister. Catherine brother-in-law Willy and East genevieve. Because in my parents they would social distance coming but they were still involved with their life and stuff and doing things like a small level so they just stayed at their house but it was really cool to hit the pause button be in nature. We're very blessed to have that chance to go be a nature and like have a month just to be with them. Which one will we ever do that again? That in like to hike every day and to be outside every day and to have like piece of dislike quietness. I don't know I have never really lived on a farm before lived lived and I know you grew up on a farm but we're farmers but we grew up on. That's right yeah but I just I appreciate that and I tried to say president every day that this was a moment in time that we probably will never ever experience again and like you said. We had permission to to press pause. Because there's nothing to do. Actually there was a whole lot of fear happening. There still is a lot of fear but there is a lot of fear happening in beginning and I don't know that felt really good to me. Just be a nature via family. Absolutely incredible sunny got to be with genevieve which is really cool cousin. I don't know the whole world's weirder and I think like you're saying sort of just It's like opening my mind to the fact that nothing is certain we put in place all of these systems and all of this stuff all these rules and things that we have to happen to make the world run and then we've seen everything to stop on a dime so realize that nothing is certain and what is certain to me. Is The people that you love. And I don't know trying to make an impact around people that you love and that you care about and help where you can and then everything else. I pretty much like so. Many people's careers have just stopped. You know because they can't like somebody careers involving around people serving people servicing people. I would think about the people right now that you're in the medical field and the nurses and everybody out there and like the people like really you know there's a there's there's two sides of it you know you're either super involve saving the world or pause and you know. I think it's important for people to take time. That are on pause to help and appreciate the people that aren't because it really is zero or sixty point And and you Kinda I I find myself feeling guilty. Sometimes that like. I'm not on the sixty side but there's nothing to do if you are not in those occupations like you really need to get out of the way. I think doing your part in staying home in in in following the rules is your contribution to the other side you know and not being reckless and not being and helping where you can small businesses. Where you can. I mean all those things are your contribution to you know. I mean just because we can't work as far as touring doesn't mean that we can't do other things to Kinda staying at home you know. Essentially as is what you're supposed to do that helps the people that are working so I mean you know it's a it's a crazy time and it's it's something that I hope. People stay positive in their situations. I hope people stay motivated and also you know take a deep breath and find things that they love or maybe there's something they wanted to do. They never had time to do like try. You'll give it a go being only upset and sad like try to use this as a chance. Yeah you don't enjoy your family. You know you know some people enjoy your family like I'm away from my family a lot. You guys obviously being on the road and it's it's been a really special time for me actually being home for the first year of our daughter's life in like being able to Be with her and see her grow and see her do her thing because you know once all this goes away everything turns back on. And we're GONNA get you know so you know looking at the at the positive sides of things you know that you know the time that you'll never get back and that's kind of what I'm thinking with this whole. I'm trying to be that way. What do you do to stay present? What are your tricks to stay present? How do you stay in the moment like with sunny? Like say like say you wanted to just like notice a moment. Be In the moment. Be Actually right here at this second in this podcast talking to me like what do you do to make sure that you're not drifting away thinking about something else? Jimmy distracted by something else. Like what does a tip that you do? A tip tip. I think just like subconsciously knowing like there's no guilt of doing this you know. I'm not missing out on anything else or missing. You know what I mean. You're not married that you're not Y- you feel like maybe you had something you're supposed to do because you need to work and like we'll awesome just like sometimes there's just nothing else to do. You know everything seems to be like a slow pace kind of different feel than it has in the past. But I don't know I just like saying this is like makes you realise what's important You know and it's like well this is important. This is what I'm GonNa do and you know whatever fuck off like did that make says but I feel like you and I have grown up together because we met when you were twenty one and I was twenty four and we went from like kids to saying we're like Mitch Yard adults but like we have really evolved together a lot. I feel like even like with our thinking like when we first were young. Both of us. I was a musician in the beginning We both just were like chasing dreams. Working hard hustling all the time going out constantly trying to meet people doing everything we could. And it's like the older. We've gotten the more we realized how what say. Yes to and what say no to you. Do you feel that way? Yeah absolutely I mean. I think what's the saying you know if it's not a hill yet no I love that. Yeah you know. I think that applies to a lot of thinks that applies to life in general. But let's get back to the sex talk. How much thanks to you think? Oh I was just. I was just kidding. You're out I don't know another loaded question. There's this loaded questions. I love this thing as connecting with the one. You love is very important and I think you know you should do that as often as you feel. Whatever whatever your your loins Taylor. Hey Caroline Hobby here. I discovered my new favorite subscription. It's called 'cause box and I have to tell you about it. 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E. B. O. X. dot com slash. Get Real and use the code. Get Real to get your first box for thirty percent off. Free Shipping go to 'cause box right now I can tell you firsthand you're gonNA love it on the flip side of that. What do you want to tell people who are maybe in a hard spot? Maybe they are financially stressed. They're married. They have three kids now screaming at the House. They're having homeschool and they're having to work from home they like. What are you WanNa tell those kind of people who are kind of stress like? What would be some just encouragement about three kids? You know your brother has five G. I know. Yeah well yeah you know I. I'm always a glass half full kind of guy you know. I always look at kind of the positive ways in kind of try to maneuver that way towards what I'm trying to accomplish. I don't let that don't let that beat you down because if it beats you down at keeps you down. Oh that's good and in always look at it as okay. What's next? What can I do and know that that that the cloud will pass? You know. It's some point you know you can't really predict when that is but if you keep keep moving and keep doing it will it will. It will always comeback around this. Just how I believe. That's just how it works. There's highs and lows everything everybody knows that and Yeah if you know if it beats you down don't let it keep you doubt so. Don't pay attention to it. Just Kinda Kinda. Keep your eye on the prize. You know as far as three kids go or that shit. I don't know that. Sounds like craziness being cooped up with everybody for a long time but you also take take your time to take a break. You know. It's okay to say I need to carve out of time to have a little bit of me time to figure out where you can put that in. It's at the end of the night when the kids are asleep or whether it's in the morning before they get up or whether it's just time yes center. I think that's important. And then it's you know important to always take even if it's ten minutes to connect with your spouse your partner and even if you can't like we're joking around about sex and making love even if you don't have that in your timeframe right now like if it works then great but like yeah take a moment to find some time for your spouse or partner. It's always easy though. I mean like navigating life kids families jobs a pandemic like all sorts of other things wife can be rough but I agree. Like you have to figure out what you're going for and try to keep an eye on the prize so if you have hard pass celebrity hall pass he would be mine myself. You have one I do have one. Well I'm only married and committed to one woman so I I don't have what do you came back. And so no. No you like came back and did now do you love her. She's your favorite is great. But you know I don't know that's the one that always pops up for you. I mean she's significantly older than you. Jenner. You know. Oh you're young. You've switched really knew who else will yet. There's some more in there. I mean you're you're Paul has not my mind would be Leonardo DiCaprio. But I think that's because you look like him and he's trying to save the whole world more about personality and exactly adults eat. Have you seen his movies? All of them. So what will he do? We actually met our hall passes. What would you do if you met? Kate Beckons haunt. You like I love you. You're so hot I mean that's just would-be very flattering. You be very flattering situation. So you'd have to lightly decline absolutely. Yeah but I got a great story. That's right and the stories really I live is about stories that is true. You're a great storyteller. I don't know about all that but I don't even want to have this conversation. So what some of the best advice you've ever gotten okay and also let me reframe this. You've met a lot of your heroes like people that you've looked up to. You have gotten to have a conversation with Steven Tyler. You've toward with kid. Rock who I know you loved listening to his music growing up toward Darius Rucker. Who are you love shooting the blowfish like your cousins of the Black Crowes and hopefully I'll get to play your show them in June. Which WOULD BE AWESOME? But like what is it like? You've torture Jason Dean. I know you love his music. So many people like what is it like meeting people that you look up to and knowing them well because a lot of us have people that we put on a pedestal but we just keep them on a pedestal. We never meet them. We never know them. Was it like to know the people that you have admired since you were a child or just admire since you were young adult like. What does that feel like? What have you learned Originality is what I've learned from all these people They're all uniquely them and do what they do and and they stick to the common thread between it all is. They encourage you to be that. They don't want you to be them. They want you to be you and I think that's kind of the best advice to like. Get without even being said throughout the whole thing. Is it meiring in acknowledging that these people are uniquely themselves as artists songwriters you know an singers and players in in their unapologetic? But that's kind of scary to be unapologetic unapologetic. I feel like like you have made her balls unapologetic especially people who are like they look a kid rock. He rocks about all the time. But he's unapologetic about it yourself in genuine. And that's what makes you you and your your own kind of you know. In my opinion you your own brand and you stick to that in. That's what you should be. I mean that's what being an artist is all about is expressing yourself not expressing. Everyone else expressing yourself in guys like that that have had big careers and you know fortunate enough for me to tour with or know other people that we know. I mean. That's just Kinda what it comes down to. It's always be you be different. Why is it so hard to be different though is so hard to be you especially in the entertainment industry? There's all of these factors involved and sometimes it's hard to be yourself? I honestly well. I think there's a lot of factors that play into that of influence. In like what you want and like where you sacrifice and moves you make in the process of like being a successful artists you know in. You're always wanting to be more successful just like any other business you know but it's money there's always money involved. People spend a lot of money to to get out there. There's influence from the industry side. You know everyone has a piece of the Pie because you are brand will but I think what it comes down to just like being true to yourself and true to your brand in like true to what you want be in like navigating ways to to to progress that make it work in like B and. There's always an ebb and flow of of circumstances. That happened in opinion. And things you have to do but like like it's it's better to be the different. Make your own lane pave your own path. Make your own lane. And if that's what works for you that's that's that's what you should do or you know you know you can do other things but everybody's uniquely different and I think it's just that's just one thing that I've admired about the people that you named like they. They have their thing and their thing. Is You know you're replaceable? Is True to them. So sometimes it takes a wireless be fair but sometimes it takes a while and it can be discouraging like you guys are on your third major label deal. That is amazing. But like why a Lotta Times? People want to quit like say you get your first record deal and whatever happens so many things are at play. Nobody's fault nobody's wrong just fell apart. Now you're on your third one. That takes a lot of perseverance. What what are you? Why is perseverance so important because some people it seems like they get instant success or things happen so easy but really when you break it down and look inside of the Crystal Ball? No one really gets those things instant success. So why is perseverance and committing to your dream so important to you you know. I always say you don't take anything. Don't take business personal. There's so many factors involved in what you do and also don't let somebody else's opinion or situation. Stop you from doing what you're dreaming of what you want to accomplish. That's complete if you quit. Because they quit. Then you weren't fucking meant to be there in the first place and that's just one person. Yeah down the ones inside of your dream inside of your head. I mean if you yeah and there's like so many factors involved in that but you just got to see it for what it is and not take it personal in the navigate. You know. That's the way my mind works as far as that. Kinda stuff and like things aren't always gonNA be the way you want them to be so like but that doesn't mean you should sit on your hands and be an asshole. Plus you know you never know where things turn around comeback around and like you know wouldn't always say like when your name comes across. Somebody's desk you want them to have a good feeling you know not a here's Michael Holly Gross or whatever but whatever you just can't take this shit personally you got to see what it is and you got to think about your running. You're you're you're being an artist full-time and they're being whatever. They are a company fulltime. You know they're running a lot of more elements than you are and they're you know it's just it's that's the difference your in your creative mindset all the time and they're on their business mindset all the time and sometimes those two equations don't add up and then thrown egos which everybody has totally GonNa goes. Just the differences is how you use yours. So how'd you like to use your ego? Get Real honest women to use my ego. You're very aware of your ego. Like I feel like you're very intentional by your ego you have an ego for sure. Everybody has one. I have an ego for sure. But you're very intentional about not letting your ego flare up. You don't burn bridges. Something I have learned from. You is don't burn abridge like I. Before the my younger days in my twenties I would be a hot head. I would get upset. I would be dramatic. I would mean no one can believe this seem so. Why isn't profound all the time? But now just kidding ha but I worked on myself a lot. But you've taught me so much because in my younger years when we were dating in the beginning I was a firecracker and not in a good way like I would just get lit so fast get so mad so quickly if I felt like someone I like in my in whatever career working on the music career I would take things so personally I would get so hurt and offended and what I learned from. You always always always always and I don't know how you do this. Is You never ever burn a bridge? No matter somebody screws you. You always stay high. Stay above it other than you do. That I learned from me. I tried to do that now. I think the difference in like someone screws you. That's a very loose term. You know our associated like all my situations in life like no one's deliberately screwed me at Ler fucked me over like you know. People have done the best they could. In certain results didn't add up to their expectations. That doesn't mean they screwed me. You know like like I look at like getting like someone's screwing you being like. Will they fucked me behind my back and still some money or they did whatever they did like. That's like being screwed like would intentions are pure in things. Don't work out. That doesn't mean that someone fucked you over. It doesn't mean I mean maybe the wrong decisions were made. Everyone was trying to what everybody was trying their best. And you can't take that personal and then at the end of the day. Everybody always looks out like looks out at people like it was your fault or it was your fault or is your fault when really always try to look at things going. Okay what did I do wrong? I need to deliver better next time. Because if you deliver great then most things you know work out. But they're all that but it's it's it's a very creative thing because there's a gray area like creativity exactly there's no blueprint so you can say art can say something didn't work will ship. That's because I did X Y and Z and then you could go salsa go y did Z and they didn't make it work and they go fuck. It didn't work because I didn't and then people start getting mad each other and blaming. Don't take it personal be productive. Don't take just move past it. Keep going life and the thing is like you have stayed friends with all of these people that you've had very intense professional relationships with a lot of success with some of them and then some of them not success but like at the core of everything. It's always been successful because everyone always had good intentions and you're all trying to work together and I'm not just talking about record sales. I'm talking about everything in your life. You're just you're in charge of your destiny. You're in charge of your attitude. You're in charge of how you feel when you wake up. You're in charge of what you WANNA do. You're in charge of what you WANNA create and no one's going to do that for you and you can wake up pissed off everyday. Yeah what is that? GonNa do GonNa WanNa be around you and work with you and you you can partner up with people that help facilitate facilitate your dreams and goals and appreciate those people in is always. It's like a relationship you know you know when it's time to just say hey you know what? I want to see other people you know in and sometimes that works and sometimes you come right back. Who who who the fuck knows. There's no rhyme or reason to it. I just think it when it comes to that world you know any world like just. Don't let that discourage you don't let failure discourage you don't let disappointment discouraging happen because it's going to happen and you hope it happens more and more because it makes you greater and greater one. It's like a train track like there's all these different stops on a on a on a railroad. There's always stops and some of them. You stop in its despair. Some of them you stop. And it's anger some of them. You stop and it's feeling lost. Some you stop and it's euphoria and its success is abundance but you gotTA keep rolling down the train track and not every stop is going to be the same like you're gonna hit all the different peaks and valleys but that's life and I don't know why we got it in our heads that life was supposed to just be easy and without hardship like. Where did that thought ever come from? Why did we ever think that it should just be flawless? Because it's not nowhere in the world no recorded history of any great person of any great time if integrate it anything basically look up anything and there's never dismiss. Oh everything was perfect. Everything was great that never existed anywhere. So why do we think that it should? I don't know I've never thought that you never had. Why have you never thought that? Well it's you know it's like a prayer you know for me. It's like I think God for everything that I do have and everything I don't you always say that. Thank you for everything I have and everything else. What makes my journey? And that's something that I live by so I never you know if you wake expecting to be perfect. God bless you. I hope it is for you. But you're GONNA have problems or issues or get sick or do whatever I mean. It's just GonNa fuck and happen. It's just about how you look at it in what you try to do to progress in you. Don't let it beat you down. I mean at the end of the day. It's just we ain't getting out of here alive mass right. So let's roll. What's your what's your in goal like. What is your like. What a success to you when you think about your life say I mean? I'm not trying to say it's a morbid wave. When you get to the end of your life what do you hope you have accomplished not just like career stuff? Like what are you going for? What is your goal for your life like? What do you want your canvas? Your picture your stamp in history to be stamping history to be debuted. I told you I forced you to this. Podcast all the way down to the bottom of the well. How long phone call go to lifelock friend? You know. I mean this is like a question you can always just say that cliche things cliche cliche. Things are cliche for reasons but I think what it really means. Is You know living a happy life. You know like whether you don't want your your your death to be measured by the amount of success. You had I think it should measure about the impact you had but also you know in that shifts change as you grow like now we have a daughter so for me when I always feel happy and great and like that she you know when she looks at thinks about me. She thinks of in a positive way of like he was an incredible father. You know that's a win You know because that keeps spreading right you know you. He was an incredible husband that keeps spreading. You know and if you have another kid or if we had you know you want them to feel that way too and to keep spreading and then your career wise I mean Shit you you just want to have an impact but you also you know you wanna be a good provider for your family so at the end of the day when it comes to your time. I want a lot of people in a positive message you know and then again I just WanNa make sure that people that are close to me are taken care of in you know right now. Sunny goes man. He was an incredible father and friend. That's the win for me. All emotional a little bit. No outcry with you. I'll bet you would love. I love to cry. No like I told you day. Said they stop. I'm only pumping night once a day or once every other day which Michael so sweet. You'll listen to all my breast feeding pumping journey so lovingly supportive. But I told you that day. I'm like weaning up pumping us. I just cry and I don't have any reason why I don't know why and you're like okay. That's bull cool. Let me do you think I know you're so cool about it. Like I appreciate that about you because I thought on an emotional rabbit hole and you're just like cool. Have you didn't do anything wrong? Then like I know it ain't my fault so thank girl. That's the way I feel about it and I know you're going through a lot of emotional hormonal things. I mean you just had a child you know. We're not even a year into this. Like you breastfeed and you got a baby in your hormones and you know I know what the first nine months look like. You know. We're not even on the back nine finished with the back nine yet. So what did you learn about Hormuz unpredictable? I see I feel like I've been super consistent. And that's what people hormone Sakes Eve is a nice to me which I really appreciate new been incredible like I haven't luckily for me. I haven't had wild hormonal experience. I know a lot of people do a lot of our friends have and in dealt with that but I mean you've been an incredible hours crying every single day the first three months before you were pregnant every single day about stuff so. I'm just kind of moving together long time so I think I'm used to but you do an incredible job and you do an incredible job being aware and balancing things in in letting me know things. You're very good at communicating. Obviously which is why you have your podcast and you communicate so well. People have always had that gift and and I'm one of those guys that said you give me the day. She gave me the the things in. If I'm aware I'm good you know. Yeah you're cool with me having an emotional meltdown. If I need to have one if you know that it has nothing to do with you and that's my responsibility to tell you I mean if you look at me and say hey. I need to go cry. Then I'M GONNA go. We'll great I'll take over you. Go cry if that makes you feel better. It's like if I look. I need to just I need to take a walk and you you would go won't thank. You should take a while you know. I think that's what's important to to realize that and don't take it personal. You're not I mean I'm not worried about I mean you you cry and something. I did because I'm like well I know well. I think that's the key thing over the past ten years and we're GONNA wrap up soon because I know like I really appreciate you coming on the Poker Tournament. Poker tournament a really. I mean you know there's a game you look at your phone like you're ready to go. Okay minute okay stores. I was late last week. Okay I need to use a computer to this podcast coach. Okay let's wrap up anyway. I think the something really cool that has happened us after being together like eleven years basically now is we have stopped me. I still try to analyze everything and I always ask you about your feelings when you talk about everything up overall. I feel like we have come to a place where we just accept each other for who we are and we don't try to like me. I don't know for the most part. Don't try to change each other. I'm probably worse at trying to change you. Then you are. You're very accepting. I like all over the place but like we really are good at just being like this is you. This is me. We love each other. We're committed and we're building a life together so let's stop like pinpointing all the stupid little things that don't matter and like let's recognize that we love each other and we're showing up for each other every day and that to me is what marriages the show up for. Someone every day in loved them and choose them. That's a huge deal totally her first kid. Shit Yeah I kids Shit. We Australia kid all the time so we have to notify ourselves of the good things that each person does and then it goes back to another thing. I think but I think we owe it to each other to be honest and communicate like if I'm actually upset with you if you're upset with me you can't do this like beating around the Bush O. Rien ways like you need a straight up. Say I'm mad at you. Hit Me Straight ahead and we can figure it out. I'm not trying to old rag out early to create some weird. Let's talk about it if you got to get heated about it for a second that goes back to just not taking chip personal but deal with it confronted and don't be don't be an asshole and come around sideways and be mad at your partner when they can't read your mind. Tell them what you're feeling be productive. We're good at telling each other what we feel. I know you are the best. I love you things. Your count on ear appreciate you having me. Vote for Michael. He's like Baljit appreciate you. Have me thank you so much last thing you know? I leave every podcast. Leave your light poodle or what? Do you want everyone to know broad? There's no right answer. Some broad question Beats you down on what it keep you down? So what do you do? Said keep pushing men. Don't let it don't let it hang down there. Don't let it win. Whatever that is for you don't let it win because you can beat it makes sense. Oh yeah and also I like to demonstrate sex and make eugenicist. I love you. They pay Caroline Hobby. I've discovered my new favorite subscription. It's called 'cause box. Caused box is a quarterly subscription. Box curated by women for women that is filled with all sorts of amazing products and brands ethical sustainable and have a positive mission to give back. Every 'cause box is a limited edition comes with six to eight full-sized products you can get everything from skin-care to jewelry to homeware accessory. I have a box in some of my favorite things. Are the Bento box the Duffel bag and the jade roller. It feels like Christmas every time the cosby shows up at your door. I got my listeners and exclusive discount to go to. Www DOT com dot com. That's C. A. U. S. E. B. O. X. dot com slash. Get Real and use the code. Get Real to get your first box for thirty percent off and free shipping. Go check out caused box right now. You're looking for a new podcast. Who isn't these days? Well if you want real about love commitment marriage and hope stories that will help get you through the strangest times. Look no further than season. Four of the committed podcast. It's a storytelling adventure about what really happens. After I do hosted by me Jo Piazza while we're all still stuck in the house. There are three whole seasons of committed for you to binge three available on the iheartradio APP apple podcasts. Or wherever you like to listen to your podcasts.

Michael Texas partner Dr Pepper Colleen consultant bobby bones Caroline Hobby Self soccer Michael Hobby Billy Dacian Tyler Hubbard Karen Washington Sanford Sonny EU
Slumber Party with my College Roommates and Besties.

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

1:12:38 hr | 1 year ago

Slumber Party with my College Roommates and Besties.

"The holidays are here and there's no better way to get in the Christmas spirit than with a warm crackling fire. Time with Family Holiday Romances Winter Wonderland and new lifetime holiday movies. Twenty four seven all day every day all season long with more than one thousand hours of Yuletide themed programming and sixty plus days of holiday movies on lifetime. It's time to kick up your feet. Get comfortable Wonderbra and enjoy. It's a wonderful lifetime and you won't want to miss a special Thanksgiving week filled with even more premieres treat everyday Christmas and make lifetime your destination for new holiday movies. He's twenty four seven all season. Long Queen attack. You take care episode. So is another episode of my little mysterious. And I'm doing roundtable. Talk from interviewing a lot of people at one time not just a one. This one is with my college roommates. It's best friends and we all get together. We're sitting on my bed at my house. Liked old times like we used to do. We were in college and we're talking about the good old days how we met. What what we learned all the trouble that we got into believe me? It wasn't that much trouble Boys do we kissed how we've all become mothers. What we've learned from motherhood how our friendship unshipped has grown through all of this how we have grown as women? It is really such a fun fulfilling conversation. And I think all of you guys will relate to this on some level level because we're just talking real life stuff mom stuff girlfriend stuff and life stuff you guys relate to so get excited here is Katie Arab. Emily SERTA's in Beth laugh potter and myself. Okay so this is a super exciting podcast because it's not just any regular podcast. This is Oh gee college roommate bedroom bed your e ended bed as rubies. We were in each each other's beds all the time. All the US is is. We're drinking wine. We're all MOMS in Leonardo new. MOMS that indicate your your old mode where the old mom mom every pay someone start by introducing. Everyone and that broke antsy. I got my. We're like twenty years old. Maybe IT OSCAR FOR IT WASN'T I. Yeah I think you we were at the Initial not initiation but one of the purse Toriente and Caroline came up to me like I didn't know anybody I was with my mom and caroline came up and she was like you look like somebody Anita do like yeah. What's it became roommates and then came? Emily early next. No family was raise was crazy not to me. We are the same. Okay thank you emily. Invest at the same time if we owe our case of hating dynamic deal for we both transferred into Belmont in Nashville. Our sophomores Both of us were so oh afraid of people like so. We just like from small towns. Small towns from Radio Louisiana rejection boomtown. Because thanks to chip and Joanna I WANNA go there. I never yeah have you been my nine cried. Went to transformed that channel beautiful. Yeah so Katie numbers of people. We were clinging to each other. We did not the Social Belmont. I mean we were deathly afraid and so we got invited to scrape anatomy girls viewing party and we were like well she we you better go to my friends. Let's go try to make them and in comes Cooper Emily Shepherd and they knew everybody. If you want it seems like it seemed like it. We've been there for a few years older than you one year old. WHO's best essay high high? That's that became Beth superpower now. Say Hi Hi Emily Scheffer Serta's now we'll have new lessons MHM Yes so. We're going to integrate that in what was that way. How do we link the also fast? 'cause I we had a class together and you don't even remember me from the past. I secretly wanted to be with you so it was so happy that you were there existed. That friend was I. She had the sugar Glider Squirrel and now. I wish that would've really seal the deal. I would've probably been more aggressive. Had you had a road in your bra had a pet. Sugar Glider Squirrel and I put my sports sprawl around all age joey. Joey Joey Joey that you Miss Joey. I mean no I knew about her. Name's Julie O- okay. So then how do we become friends with the I. I think we were just like all hitting our social prime time and we kind of armed forces and the rest is history and then we moved so emily actually did the literature class together. Didn't we I think so. I I feel like I gave you a team. Who just gets? You're talking about. Yeah I started five guests. Babies tampons become a funny thing. Now you forget what something that happened. Oh my God. How many years ago Lake fifteen are we know what we've met before we are out called? Yes but anyway. It doesn't matter because we're all twenty one one twenty-one ish thirty six so wow she's the baby Katie. You're thirty five thirty seven thirty seven. I thought we become old people from. It's funny because I remember when I started old and like seeing young kids at college like they looked so young now. I remember when I was babysitting reasoning for people when I was in college and now we hire people to cause babysitter and we feel I feel like I'm the same age as money. It's so weird. I was doing this yesterday. I WanNa be friends going. My food totally bassist as they come over one time like geopolitics over. She's like twenties. Now I WANNA be your best friend and I say anything to the Patriot cause you feel like your. They're your friend but yeah we're adults. Yeah they think they think we're old. Yeah because I remember. I thought that I'd be Blah. BABYSAT BABYSAT for world and China. To be cool and be friends with us. Yeah just go to the bar the babysitter out. After I get home I used to shower. After the kids I was babysitting went to bed at their at their house and get ready and when they got back home then now so your pint going out to like eleven o'clock. Yeah that's that's what you do when you're that that's what we he did all the time we could ten roof the Bar Nashville. We miss that stage of your life. You Katie United. That's what we're trying to be cool. Sorry the smoking cigarettes and stuff cigarettes reuven like day out lay. I remembered I decided I was going to become a smoker. I decided title. And then I bought a pack and I smoked it on the House we lived on the four ch and I was like in turn the AC off in the car. You're not you know religion. Yeah air into the car seats. Yeah people turn their off. Yes she exits be ruled on the windows than cigarettes. Well it's not like getting sucked up into the car. Since I guess it's better but no way like decided I'm going to be a smoker That's awesome and then I always knows. quit like goes into a real smoker. I just couldn't commit to know I love WHO's grew I. I know you did love it. Yeah committed for why thing about. Oh my gosh. I think about like a sitting on the porch smoking across the street from like our neighbors neighbors pepper. I was like twenty three years old and and we really grown up. Yeah Ah in smoking made you feel grown up and emily new all the boys at school and so we moved into house with it was a front house backhaus so they all lived behind all always lived behind us in. Emily Make Haiti. Beth would come over all the time. She didn't live this. You had other roommates that you were signal with somewhere somewhere so emily and you all these boys and so there's like six guys live behind us and then there's us in the front so they were coming over all the time. We're basically just forty four all party. Primetime Canyon Ehrlich. Hey look at us like rude so now after it was amazing to like we were ruling out. Yeah cool and then one time one of the guys. He looked behind us. Had A friend who was like hitchcock hype. You Cross America through through in we come home from school or work in. There's a tent in our living room. And he has decided you he's GonNa stay at our house and put a tent up inside our was in the yard any it was yes he stayed there for like a week. And that's it was really nice to uh-huh inside though. I think privacy that you want to press you close James. That sounds convenient. Asked us or anything he just set it up. That's acquiring one of the guys who say they know. I'm just giving explain your arm when you drop the names right but yes. That wasn't really really fun. How many years have you lived there? y'All lived there for like five years right before I moved in I think in one Ni two thousand seven. I was three years interfere. Sure it wasn't is it me was just making at least make Mingo. Monday's concert the waterfront frogs. Didn't it didn't sleep with any of them because we're uproot like that but just lots making out sometimes when you made out of. Are they just little. Spend the night at your house even though you're not like hooking up because really all were good girls we looked at the and you didn't want anybody to drop drunk but one time made this one guy. Sorry Matt frozen your husband again you man he wants to put this end do he'll. He's okay we probably okay okay. I don't know these things work. Editing face keep those heard worse who probably heard US talk about those before he had made out and the guy to spend the night at the house sure but it was very G. rated force tonight. Take your shirt off. So the next thing he might not have even maybe just moved onto. Yeah huge rather hairy. The next day woke up and his body out one was on the bed in hair so it never her laws take out there like I felt like if I didn't make out every time I went out when I was in college. It was a bad night. I know that's terrible. That's what Michael Together because we're at a bar when I and some. I thought you met at the dog park. He asked about a date and we went to the dog park data. I like that didn't happen though he wasn't a day. I had ruby. Yeah and then. He acts like that wasn't a date. You didn't ask me. How but did he was like nineteen eighteen? I was like three at the time. Dating is a Golden Forever Listening Puma Cougar. AM We didn't have any money to go on a date anywhere. You didn't need money. Who Me Ladies Do? I never went on. I didn't go on hardly any dates when I was in Nashville Nathan College wasn't a dainty. Actually like it was more like gotta off more. You're good at getting out there. Like in general in life like you're outgoing. I think all of us are skier voice. I remember with brothers. That's one thing didn't know it's true. Not One brother sweetness except for you all I got them. You think think that it made you more comfortable around boy. Hopefully yeah and you like score you probably because I like. Yeah yeah definitely. That's how you met your hubby doing that. You Cheer Oh Chicago yes okay. So now. We've gone through college. We've like became smokers realized. We didn't want Dana Sign. We didn't do any of that. Katie nine went from one France Brent finding only like totally getting the popular crowd so grady under so popular so wait. Let's talk about what they used to call Beth. College still still hot bath. Everyone was like Oh. That's hot music not around like you you at work for. And it's a major internships for George Shrinks Manager Right. Why works for him? But yeah and then you like new anti-people in the music industry and everyone called you hot beth. That was your name George Strait. Call you that no. It didn't get down to Texas us. I guess about that you were still off that night. Your milk hot bath shortly. That uh-huh user wrote intern days. I did so much in Reno music. It was so fun did you do they pay interns now. Oh it's quality care that you really still but it was great. I mean you just feel like number one party as you get to hang out of the school hit songwriters. Here's the thing. It was so hit songwriter. They talked me into. Does it sound like exhausted. I mean now to do all that in the beginning networking and getting to know people feels exhausting already. Done it okay. GR's we're tired yet now. Now we're getting. CBS So fun. Yeah I know 'cause you would like go for fifteen hours a week and you'd like do some data entry in like then like go do fun. Things got a free estimate all felt really fun and exciting interviews Jin Way and I tell the story because if anyone who falls my pockets and listen to all of genocide him up when she moves to Nashville she moved in with Beth. Yes Cooper I introduced introduced you engine. You introduced Jin for everyone who's listening John Lewis Granddaughter June Ugo so was great but then Jin found a roommate on craigslist and it was death. Yeah well I was at the one that put it on craigslist but we both found the same house in seventeen thousand yeah. We had a tent in the backyard. remember that yeah a little house behind like the dentist honest Yes oh like dogs. At least three. There's like three extra girls per yet of it was is crazy. Boyer Gal Oya. Yeah I think about her. Sometimes she was sweet and her dog says I s weird. Yeah but so Beth would live in south voice. Girls like sleeping wasn't royal table. We would go out all the time like good school immigrant party concert to work. I mean hey united saying together for member every Winston we say judge beans argue is like are they and the boys played the band. It's fun it's still there now. No it's the show on a yeah. We'll just great Indian food. It's great okay so then emily goes. We Graduate College. We've done all this stuff because Katie and I both were pursuing singing belly wotton and so it was really fun together and then emily what were you doing. Beaumont you're running saucer. You went off scholarship right. Yes Yeah Seti Eddie. Psychology and Iran for a couple of years. Some figured out didn't want to do that anymore. And then I just stayed stuck around babysat and loved it. I was just a little small town too big city. Just everything was new and awesome awesome. Yeah Yeah how did you find it such a different city back then. It was in nineteen eighteen years. Starting years we've been here Holy cow you grew up where you grew up that was eighteen years years. Now I've been here for eighteen. So Yeah we've been here as long as we were in our hometown crazy before brought to us by. Why don't you come to Nashville Nashville? Music Business Manager. Something you you just want to get in the business yeah. She entered in high school school. Radio station like cool popular. Radio Stations Zoned in. Heck Yeah Okay so then after after college how did you where were you Chicago. Yeah Matt Scott. Yes and losing inlets from Kentucky and she loves Kentucky Blue in chant cheers. There's any time she can cats. What is it I add well? The cheers S. cats cats. Can we were in so I was in Chicago so for a friend's wedding and Scott was in Chicago for New Year's wedding. This is what we're talking about. Inland is not scared. To put yourself out there in lieu never told JOVITA stranger. You're always say yes to things. I feel like yeah. Maybe maybe not Luckily Scott showing his Kentucky Pride the night so you were there as well. No so I was there for a wedding New Year's Eve wedding it was New Year's Eve we had done the rehearsal. Dinner era was the polar vortex. It's freezing cold so I put on and I was like scared of slipping and sliding on Ice Chicago. It's freezing. It's like negative eight so I put on my running shoes. My running tights running she circus knows and so and I've had my makeup done for the rehearsal dinner. It's always like done up but in my like sport close. So your Sean. All sides of your purse yes and so then we went to the bar and they were the guys in line behind us and we're just talking because its freezing and and from Scott Kentucky and so then I did this chair the cheer him oceans. So I'm sure no maybe in the same spirit fingers yes did. Cat Cats cats cats Because you just so so then we wouldn't. We talked for a minute then. We went inside and thought that was that but then Scott came up by a beer or something. It's so crazy. 'cause he so oh Scott sweet amazing guys quiet unlike. Yeah yeah pretty passes feeling it. Yeah Okay thank God Adam a- and then we took him picture running close of us like and I like track sprint kind of things. We got a photo and then he texted it to me. I needed so you got my number. Yeah we met up the next night on new years after the wedding out at some bar and then came here we might have kissed of them are yeah yeah and and then within a huge national league that we with you on my gosh out and you're like who is this guy stranger coming to town and I was like to raise the Dr West Virginia. He's a doctor. He's a footnote. This guy just stay. Stay with us. You had a good intuition about it. I did you carry around his axa everywhere he he did that Tomahawk and freaky axes. So much gave them to all of his groomsmen. It goes wedding. He did with their names on them and our wedding date. I'm like he did. He build like a backwards. You can throw accident. He also did that. Looks like an alien made out of tiny to I love about Scott all here. Put this heavily on the grass. You can see caterpillars evernote spider cider. Hyder hunting you guys to do it. Nothing it's crazy. They're there for you like it or not and just walk around the grass at night and you'll see there are everywhere anywhere they don't hurt you though Starkville and a lot of them. It's free everyone seeing an alligator in your backyard trio. No there's only one alligator and there's like millions of spike you. You'll never lay your again when she sees this part of Nature Surfing. I think that's pretty neat. That he knows like everything nature and survival. Yeah they did you guys know that You know how you know. If you have a yellow jacket nest. How did you in the ground? No yeah our neighbors. Yeah I guess you see them. Coming around story was that in the ground. Yeah AH little mud no. That's not a yellow jacket dirt. Dog Her being no never mind just like nature center over there. Oh Yeah Oh yeah now that we're like out in nature. Well you're not out out in nature. They live on some acreage. You Do Anchorage one great. So then I will end up getting married. It was great and the next weekend right to you yes we dated eighteen months long. Suber von it. I really terrible at the end. Longest words you. Oh yes and then you move in together great but also so adjusting to await. We're not just like hanging out partying every two or three weeks or the other all the time we have to adjust eric citations But great and then finally we got engaged and those. We'll get married y'all there and growing up we learn. It's really great that you led the way okay with marriage though. Yeah we had our ten year anniversary this and everyone her husband's in the lost trailers Muller Back Holler all back in the woods. This all gets on farm brewed. Oh homegrown oh yeah yeah I remember some girl love your husband's Jeff Potter Loving Drummer Sombre Love Your hasn't so much she. We made a scrapbook of her wedding. With Jeff Yeah Oh God. She had a whole scrapbook put together. Just wedding yeah girl that you knew just knowing. I didn't know her either but she would print pictures off and just cut my head off. Did she give it to his online told me I don't even know who it was taking egging US facebook pictures. Yeah space maybe mine. May My space you overdo dating or so. L Ode L. L. dated a long time before a cotton gauge right. Yeah but Because you move to la you are consistent for Madonna's manager That was a wild year for you. Those crazy town. I'M GONNA get on Nashville. I'M GONNA go to La in in your like is this thing not as manager and then Jeff came out and it was like it must have you and Mary you well. It wasn't really like that rushing me to move home or anything anything but it definitely was a factor in like when he got out of La a little bit. That's what made him really know that he wanted to be with you. James Yeah One Time Jeff said I just like having dinner with her like she was the person that he's like wanted wanted to go out and just sit at a table and talk to now. That's sweet sweet platelet. Johnny Cash said her morning more morning coffee with her or something like this. This is favorite thing about June Carter like legends to marry hot baths. He did. He's lucky key him. Spit not kids early. Because you're the first one of our group because June is like a teenager ager basically been. Where were you twenty nine or thirty? I turn thirty like a few months after actually not that young born so yes we had our good. I recommend twenty eight. We're having Italy yes. I don't I'm glad that I was later having a kid. You your body to see me just my whole pulbic. Area just can't necessarily labor. It's just what is the area. Uh Head sars-like. All this is it so tight. Is it still like now. Oh Yeah I get up off the ground. Go see a a a a male there I did I did I went for four weeks. Tinkle your panties. No it's not gonNa uh-huh okay tightness and I think it's like the whole runner thing I should. I should definitely do. Some Yoga did at one time this week. Good the job accident hip opening. Yeah Okay so bad enough. Yeah it was. Yeah didn't get just so you think it wouldn't hurt. Have you had kids younger. No I don't think you know I think you were covering remember when you get it wrong and go right back the next night but yes that's awesome because we wanted to go so hard. You just more awareness now about like more energy old. Yeah Yeah it's just your body does get old so I now I mean I like being older and I think we agree. She ate and more and like it's very special but I think the body could've done recovered vile means you thirty six hundred seventy you thirty June. How are you had James? I think I was thirty. One therefore wonderful. Yeah my zone that comes up with all the Hash led caroline changing. Actually say thirty to thirty terrific. Yes I like it. So what is being a mother. What is what is being okay? Let's talk about how that delivery day because to me. That was the craziest day of my life league craziest. Oh Emily Dory was nuts. You're deliberately story. You GotTa get in a car you forgotten already. I think it Labor a lot of people have that story. I mean winning now. 'cause you're GonNa Hong Natural yes and you were at natural ray center is great eight. My water broke round. Track like to get you to the. That's how you knew you went into Labor at six forty five on Saturday morning and then for people out there who your own water breaking because there are a lot of juices when you're pregnant. Yeah but you know you're GONNA get your water and your time soon. It was like in the movies. We don't WanNa hear this over story you just Okay so broke six. It's worth five. And then finally we decided to like check into the birthing center at I think it was eight. PM contractions were like starting to get more intense than I had. Also done hypno- babies like here until I was like breathing through that was great. You're right birth waves normal contraction and then That I I just wanted to sit in the chair. The whole time so to Labor on up and it was great. I could like hypnotize myself through it. It was fine. I don't even remember the words yourself you tell them Agean that orange I can remember our oren. Lyons no I don't even remember letting the Orange Light. Yeah you just feel it all three. You'll you just did. He just like didn't just focused on. That knows great but then in her saying it didn't hurt when you know it was great. It actually took away the pain totally totally recommend him baby. Yes absolutely and I'll use it again again. I need to brush up but But then they rise that she was sunny excite up or whatever. You're sending the wrong way. And so when our genes positions it was really more painful and so as in the TUB and on on the bed and on the toilet and on the chair all these places and then like midnight I got the urge to push which is like. Hey I was only seven. Centimeters circulated can't push then so then. I had to do horsey breathing. Could you always knew what is really really bad. Always try to not push everyone listening emily when she's tired or like she's stressed out or she. He just wants to calm down she always that. Don't ever want to do it again. In my whole life what might you make yourself. Yeah so that I did that for a couple hours. And then Try so I could do it like every other contraction. I'll push one contraction. Because I couldn't help it. The other one would do horsey breathing out. And then she's she's let me check you again. If you still feel like do they try to move like did they. Try to push on your toes unless the one thing that I feel like they could have done done better but I maybe should've just had to do anyway. So then they checked it out senators. So yes there were pushing and the non-throwing were in the TUB and on the ban on the toilet all these places again three hours later she had I nine remember. Assure I'm sure it was like a litter. Joe Remember but like Scott was like always here. Here she is so or share and they're usually a and finally. They decided that her head was swelling. She wasn't actually progressing because they're like oh she's getting further but she wasn't. She was stopped because of the way she was position position. So then they're like. Let's transfer you to either Bill O.. And I'm like great. Let's go cut me open. Stick me within the I don't care let's let's go read D. S. it. Is You have to get five. Fifteen in yes and so then I we have within adding to get in the car. and they're doing email is not an emergency. You know so mostly out of your badge base head here even yeah how it was and then I wrote in the car hugging the kneeling down and then and then they're like at the Er like do you WanNa will chair. And I was like I can't sit in that you are you having contraction Actor Director Guy All the results. He's he's he's he's doing the relaxing. You you very tiny word down highly recommend recommended but like okay. Let's you and he was doing that for himself. We're done and for the people that say that you can't get an patrol when you're fully dilated and it's yes you can know it straight to heaven and the the doctor put his hands inside at me and tried to Turner and it worked and I could see my body and I'm like this out great. I I didn't feel anything. Great anything and then she went back and then he used a vacuum and we got her out no section. Hey Caroline Hobby here if you know me you know how important sleep is to me. The quality of your sleep truly affects the quality of your daily life especially now that I have a newborn the second I lay down. I have have got to be getting great sleep if you're struggling to get a good night's sleep you've got to try purple mattress. 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It's time to get in the Christmas spirit so he had to. We use the suction. Yeah you really had to go through. It cannot fly it was seven. AM The next day. So then. But I did not have contractions like for twenty. You know it wasn't like that it was just like I didn't sleep was about part of you know it wasn't like Labor favor was for twenty four hours. It wasn't a toy that is that is exactly what you're poet Florida shot maybe you vows twisting and turning Liam average person. Unless it's done. He signed the doctor. who was a doctor did? Yeah Yeah I'm just glad I didn't have to have a C. section because I've seen imagined that's really hard okay. Well this is actually people to share my story summertime all White House C section Sankei earlier because Katie was like why shouldn't C. Section. So I had planned to have this really natural birth guy was going to do an heritage in my head I was like. Oh I'm just going to breathe through your November the orange. I'm going to feel it more by embracing my contract. You're going to do no epidurals and everything do and my mind Mind's eye these I mean. This is my dream. I can't tell you what my reality would have been. I could've gotten in there and freaked out when I give them freaking rural but I was like like I've done yoga for three years. I am so connected to my breath. I warned I am just going to read through this and I was like beyond say said that she had imagined her childlike kicking wall. Take pictures or something like this. Just picture her childlike pushing. This wall does like obviously not get in with the child child moving through this. I'm not going to be caught in my pain so attleboro how to do. All the things doesn't China's you're Never Daryl and then ah sunny we got to forty one weeks and she was not coming out. The dilated zero dilated zero effaced. Choose happy the happy as a Lark in there like toasty. I wouldn't mind Michael and I went on a walk downstairs. Came plots lots trying to get the breast milk going to simulate. They can dress for forty weeks. Oh Yeah we all coming out one hundred early. I got a bouncy ball and I was like bouncing all the time I was drinking the raspberry tea I was like eating spicy spicy foods. Everything it's a sense like everything that you can do to get your baby to come. I was doing. She was every time I go to the guy. How can I go like twice a week? Check just to see where she was at then once we got past forty and she is nothing no movement it nothing and so I was like well Dane so basically I had a couple of friends who just had ended up in an emergency sexual after laboring for After laboring for hours and then the heart rate after like getting off the heart rate dropped the baby and then all of a sudden they had to go. Oh engine emergency c section and it was like really emotional and hard livings all worked out great but I was just like man I just do not want to end up. An emergency section got feels really scary to me like I just had fears of my own about childbirth. I got a big about the cord being wrapped around her neck like that really freaked me out that she would have a quarter after on her neck in like possibly die from that and and this is worse case scenario but that was like a legit here that I had to vary invalid and then I was just worried. Yeah I've just like I just was scared about that and I was like we have see section at the. If it's not having actually like I did you evacuate force because signed catered ceiling. We have a family friend at home. WHO JUST I don't know like it? Costs like mental damage when they had he's a force of back in the day it was like fifty years ago. So I mean obviously things I've ever seen side now. She's fine head vacuum like it's all it's like legit. Here's and so. We got to this point in the doctor's K.. Your thirty six years old. You're forty-one weeks we can induce you. You have a good chance. You could end up an emergency c section with induction because it just happens and so I was like you know what we talked about it for a long time and and we decided to go the C. Section. Because I was like I my alternate goal here is for me in baby. Tend to healthy like I want to have a a healthy baby and I wanna come out healthy and I don an emergency situation. Not say that I would have. I mean good chance I wouldn't have it as I insist sister. I have this legit fear about the Corbin wrapped around the baby's neck and I was like okay. I don't WanNa ever end up with a four separate anything like that. Sounds like I'm I'm just going to. We're going to see section and I had never thought that until the last two weeks of my late in a pregnancy I had never even considered a C section. Give you a sense of control able to like to pick that. I was devastated like realizing that I wasn't going to go into labor and I wasn't gonNA feeling feeling and I wasn't going to like experience that but then I talked to my sister on the phone. She's like well. You know what honestly you might as well embrace that parenthood is never ever how you plan and the sooner you can let go control the sooner you will realize that that is just how it goes in like as long as you are. The result is what my goal is have a healthy baby and maybe healthy and I was like was I accepted it. And that's another thing I've learned about parenthood. which has been hard for me? Learn about life is. This is my biggest struggle. I have a hard time making really hard life decision sometimes and standing by them because I doubt myself south and I am a people pleaser. I'm trying to recover from that. Sometimes I just don't know how what the right decision is because I can see from every angle like how each in June choice could work so I have a hard time. Picking One seining doubt myself and my question to wonder if I made the right choice but I'm realizing using a parenthood you have to make a choice and you have to just stand by and you know what you have a mother's intuition Let's just say you used your mother's intuition commission to have sunny VNC section like peer like you have it now and it's serving you well and there's no reason to think that wasn't your awesome motherly instinct telling you to do that then like you know it starts when you're pregnant. You know on a lighter note here motherly instinct measuring the bath temperature. You know you just like but you do worry about and you know how to make the right decisions and you make the right decisions Like I would always worry about that. I got the honor. I was so worry that your brain damage are taking too hot bath that I would want. Is You wrote about I miss you. I wouldn't take that I only uh-huh scares yeah. You're really like you know like we're worried about our when he got a sunburn on your stomach. Oh and then I got sunburn rest pregnant and I I thought that like and then I put on it and then I was double worry because I got the summer and December through into her damage her and then I put it Alabama on it and all these chemicals in the elevator. And they're playing. Yeah yes she. She didn't plan on her. She got in the bottle. Well okay those all this ball Jim Sundberg seeping through Friday fire from the sun and now she's going to have all these chemicals era I mean and now you know better per I will be sell much more relaxed if we get pregnant again. Dan have another child. I'm not going to work. I mean less than sure. I was scared because we were coming off that miscarriage pillow. You're pregnant and so much is such as you can't area you and that's the hard I think that's the hardest. Part is just to relinquish English the control control. Now that you're gonNA mom now for how James He's four. How do you let go of control? I don't you know I mean they're going to be like they're their own people but I mean at four. You still control a lot of their like environment. So but I don't know how let go controls. I just try to trust that like I duNNo. I remember this quote by Wayne Dyer and he he like you can listen to his youtube stuff. Ellison to me and he says like you have to remember your children come three. You not bore you. Just come here to the earth for their own purpose. And it's it's a privilege to be their parent but it's not for you and it's really hard to accept that but you know try to remember that how you remind yourself off of that just when you're in the midst of a controlling state and you're like worried or stressed out or there's something that you're really like wanting to Taua. They just like I met. I try to meditate or workout or just pray like I just try to. It's really really really hard when you like when you worry. Don't always do a great job. Good I don't think it ever goes away because now you have a seven year old you have a teenager teenager Judaic they teenager and then grace five five era and then Davey is one eighteen months. Yeah almost two and a half. So how'd you now that you have three case like Katie has to because only three. How do you because you have kids everywhere so I can keep a perfect watch on them? Like I'm hovercraft sunny right now I'm a little bit. How how old? Yes yes. Yeah seven seven so so how do you. How do you relinquish control and how how do you make it through your day? Happy with three kids Well I mean it's alive and you know you do have to trust that like their path is their path and you do do the best you can but you cannot control every situation that they're in and you can't control how they react or respond to situations and you now an nnl respond yet. You're a good responder our response. Yeah like you respond. I try to hire to react. Don't yeah but to respond. Okay so you what's scramble of how you have no not respond like with your emotions getting upset yeah see. I don't react with my emotions but I try to like. Just take a beat and like you know because no one wants to see like in kids especially. It's like like what you were just mentioning like She June my oldest like cut our neighbors hair Before here's a little girl and like really short. Yeah she bangs like basically all the way up to her hairline the room. We were amazed examiner. Yeah she's the coolest person but like you just let let me give you a haircut. I'm really good was giving era makeover and it's like you just have to like walk into the situation and like you've got to control your face you've gotta shut your mouth and just take a minute and breathe and like and because to. I didn't want to upset the other girl who she's living with us and she was fine fine with it. I mean she probably because June cut her hair and I didn't WanNA upset her and you know make her think that her hair is like her identity Eddie and like what she should be like judged on and blown away. Yeah that's and that's why you take a minute I think about it. What did you do? Yeah Yeah because what's the point in that and who is here it's going to grow back totally and their kids and they don't obviously they don't know or care 'cause south agreed to it and truly it's like and I've been reading. This book tells the newest book because it's called the awakened family. This is great and Yakima commit for all parents. Yes it's so good and it's like what really is at play there like I'm worried about how my neighbors GONNA. Yes and that's that's my ego. Yes it has nothing to do with my kid shakes that like I the way that people perceive her in her actions Sion's reflects on me so that's about how people view. Yeah and that's just ego and that doesn't have anything to do with her and her path right truly truly and honestly theirself expressing. Yeah you know. In their mind. It was beautiful. You just cited as adults that it's does it's not op beautiful. Yeah really to them as kids. They're proud yeah what they've done. Yeah so hard but how do you like also to tell her like you can't do that. What do that? Yeah I mean I think it just comes down to like scissors like she just has to ask permission users into the bigger pledges yet safety a simple as a yet on appearance. It's safety and also like don't don't people's hair you have to go to school. 'cause sounds like a personal boundaries. Too How do you think of that though. How do you think of scissors safety? And you need to be skilled Barbara Arbor. That's a skill to cut hair. Like how do you have to like take it all in and just take a minute and that's why you don't react that's why you can't react because it's always always wrong. It's always wrong react. Yeah so then you can actually understand a reason for why this wasn't area. She is shamed. She's not ashamed. The other girl isn't shamed yes and there's a reason. Yeah and she's like. Oh that makes sense I didn't do anything wrong. I shouldn't do this again. Because there's Great Yeah Dang Coach better ways bath over there. The bathroom breath over there. Yeah I feel like you are about your so And I love it like you just like bus. Even breastfeed everywhere like that has uh-huh to rescue the public. You know you gotTa do it. You GotTa do it into trusts them because they have instincts to. Yeah Yeah I can talk about that your kids. Yeah just like they have the purest instincts. All I WANNA do is eat and sleep and love love. Yeah and they're so pure. Yeah I just think to. Ud Learn your baby. And that's Anita's name that you yeah no other people can and that's what I feel like. I'm still a new mom. Eight and a half months in so I don't have any guidance for anybody other what have you. We learned from being a new mom. You need a good husband. And who isn't there. You're all mad at them. And that's the thing I regret like talk to you. Love your husband's but they annoy you cannot do it without them. No that's shop cook clean. put the car seat thing correct. Yeah yeah move is huge put together the CRIBS Petillo carseat put together. The banana can't even like call the exterminator. Like I don't even know how to do anything anymore but I it also say you learn your baby and like it's so weird but you're just like I know like I feel like she's wants me layer down you. You can just tell by the way she's her is her cries her movements or face. Yeah like sometimes. Let's Scott do it. I know hard but it's like even tonight like you put her down. which is Great? They're sunny ninety right now. Michael Hazar try to eat right now. Of course I wanNA run and dislike holder. Oh I know I can. I can cybercrime Megan Meghan. Her bottle was GONNA get a bouncer and get cozy in five seconds. Best but Beth. You told me this you said you bet as always tonight vice okay. What's your advice you you say you said to me you know you have to let your husband might find his way? Yeah I'm with you yeah even though L. Like otherwise you're gonna be doing it all the time for control freak right mirrored. Maybe because I'm like Oh God and I feel like I know two hundred everything but he he has his own way capable able into good for both of them and their relationship. Because it's easy to stick around now. Yeah exactly that if they can find their own groove it makes your life easier and it's really special for him. It makes him feel confident competent. Like as a dad because it is easy to assume all of the jobs as a mom because a women in our incredible multi-taskers I have always women are phenomenal after becoming a mom like I always knew they were amazing. I never knew how incredible whenever Bermeo until and our bodies our body. We're making milk right now. Yeah that's weird. You know maybe baby coming here who are amazing. Were able to like raise. Children make food for babies a take care of their entire schedule have jobs be wise. Clean the house like I don't know if I'm able to do all those things house but all the things we can figure out how to outsource it true true true that delegate tailgate manage. That is something. I'm learning like in the beginning. I love Michael More than anything. But you're so stressed out that it's hard to have the the space the room and the patient that used to have So tired you're not sleeping. It's exhausting their husbands trying trying to figure out how he can help but like he can't. He can't help beginning because the baby needs to be on your boob eating all the time sleeping. It's like it so okay. How have back to back and Katie Jar? been at this for. How do you navigate that? What exactly the new loss in your own exhaustion your own meaning control your own like thinking thinking you know just like making room for your husband? How do you do that in the beginning Year I will say like you have to make they can effort. I mean you have to have a date like you have to. Have you basically have to schedule Tom for your selves. You have to take a day night. Thank you might have to schedule sex like it becomes less But I mean it's just you have to if you want your married. I think these being early and I think you just survive MHM figure it out I am not scheduling any day night. Thanks a little more important than the date night. Just depending on your husband advent. Yeah I think you just survive and a lot of grace for each other. Yeah you do survive offer. Probably what do you think like like three years one year really. Yeah I just need a year of just be in survival news and the rain but it is just so much and they changed so fast like everything. Viola L. A.. She's like she's bigger girl now. What did that happen sprout up? It's so fun I know it is the most amazing thing. Okay so what have. What have you learned from being a mother and all the different stages eight months and now seven years in with three four for years and with to like what is your takeaway from here? We started off in college trying to be cigarette. Smokers out with guys every night taking a how this thing too you know. You're all dream chasers. We met college chasing our dreams and now our lives have evolves so much. We're all moms now obviously on the news one but like what is the takeaway of what have you learned about marriage edge about yourself and about being a mom through all of this everybody. Just start all they one thing is. I always always loved my mom now like really really down with her like she works fulltime three kids. She's always never mind. I know he's he's doing that like she started babysitting kids after she and my brother before I was born she she had all these kids at the house and they were like super poor and like way behind on their bills and sees it one time. The Electric Company came out and they shut out there his last night and she talks talk to me and was like as far as like Ma'am there. Make me turn this off and she was babysitting other. People's kids may turn off the electricity and then she really she needs to get a job and and start working and bringing more money and then then I came along so they really need job. They made it knows great. We don't remember being without electricity Avenue Shoot Babysit kids while having her own well she had like a daycare. Yeah so she was like yeah okay. Common in small. It's a great way to like heck. Yeah or terrible because that's a lot that's a lot of kids yeah. There weren't that many but making it work. Yeah interesting going going out on my God. Imagine letting your like getting that is stressful to me getting that far mine and your bills and having two babies and then reality offer a lot of a lot of yeah yeah. It's like a major reality person in the world. He has a my gosh. I know she always says the best attitude. Yeah Yeah I remember after having kids like I remember calling my long like I'm so sorry everything uh-huh anything mean I said or did like God I just felt Utah. Awful yeah apologize. I know I still the same way I used to. Just I just think like now like Oh my God. My parents like even like just in this Newark face the fact that my mom and my dad like you know your mom's like my mom stayed home with me but like changing diapers all day feeding me all the time like keeping our meeting live not leave being her whole life. They're like my parents are worried about our safety but yet giving us room to fly in like ourselves and it's like you do not realize how much time love devotion faith goes into that and I think when you're growing up you think your parents have it all figured out. Yes and so. There's like this like set of expectations on them to like do the right thing and like read my mind and know what I'm thinking and Mike do this exactly right but then you like get into it and you're like they were doing it just like I am. You know like it was their first time to. Oh you're just like yeah like the grace that's like just comes out with the baby I think is like extended to them and it's like Oh and that that love that love that you feel for your child. Have you ever experienced anything like that in your life and I know there's a lot of a lot of women are like major postpartum for like a long time or like I didn't have my baby right away like you know. And that's the total memorial to but I I also just know eventually I think it all comes around any feel this overwhelming love for your child like for me Sonny came out. I have never felt anything like that in my entire life like this that like Oh my you view or who was. We created you from nothing you grew into this human and now you are here on planet Earth because you have a you're saying the conscious parent or both VR. Saying your own destiny to be here. And I get to help guide you Lead you you in the best friend of your journey you came through Michael and I like what privilege and like Oh my gosh like that weight. Eight of that if you her so like the egg that made her was was in you. When you're in your MOM's belly yes isn't that wild? Yes like your kids. The girls girls that eggs eggs or they're all there you have. Yeah Yeah and the chances that this child is the one they came and I have even realized that after like miscarrying we had a chemical pregnancy and miscarriage and if either of those babies would have happened like sunny would be here. You know the whole thing is just so much bigger than us you know. It's just such a wild experience and I've never was ready to be among the guy was like episode off to the end. I was thirty six to the last minute and I was like. I'm not ready for this like I'm like live my life on got too many things to do for myself. How and so I put it off for a long time but now I'm like Gosh I get it? I get the whole thing now. Appearance are obsessed. The talking about their kids. I tame sure why it's just the most is the hardest thing with the best thing ever do. I used to think thrill in the best thing ever do to scary for kids as the best a truly I think too. It's like it's if you it's a miracle like you really witness a miracle to have a child it is and say how can you deny that they exist the things that you like work to do in work for our harden are challenging are always the most rewarding and this is like the biggest challenge the reward. So what have you taken away from it all back because you've now got seven year old a four year old and a two year old of US learn after that it's chaos but it's wonderful and just to like that it goes so so fast and that sounds really cliche but it does and just to like try to really live in the moment and learn from it all and take take what it is in the moment because usually it's temporary like even outfits hard this. Yeah and then this Yup right I try to myself out with like the sleepless nights and everything. I'm like because I know even just like from seeing Viola Now Ag- I remember when choose born when she was like three months six months in sing her at eight months old and she's gotten so big and I have another friend. Bree herbal daughter water six months old and she's so big so fast so I just like I tried like remember that my sister-in-law told me that 'cause she's had four kids they have five kids but she has four kids and she was like they have a new. They had one that six months old now. Oh yeah this is the price right when she was born a newborn. She told me she's like I'm just really try so in every second because I know how fast to go they go so fast does it. Sounds like don't get hung up on your exhaustion or that. Your life has changed because I remember when Sonny was first born I was like I'm never going to leave the house. I am housebound forever like I'm trapped here. I don't know how to get out. I will never leave my hormones. Were insane I was a weeping and crying crying the weeping. Anyone would ask me how I was and I would disolve wasn't I wasn't depressed. I was just everything all the feelings. But it's just like that goes away all of a sudden you start feeling like yourself again. Your body is already gone like the everyday everyday I think and I didn't feel I don't think the president has felt like overwhelmed in. Yes I cell phone overwhelmed. It's overwhelming it is. It's a whole life that you're in charge of your. We're we're not in charge of this life but we are responsible for this life. Yeah doing so good now like we're doing good. We're all doing the very best we can. You know I read a thing and it's like AAC things you worry about. You know whatever like if you're ever gonNA sleep again and like the transit. Ask him to run in there. Like maybe you don't sleep for three years but it's like it's like they're gonNA sleep through the night like they're not gonna go to kindergarten in diapers potty train. You know like they're not GonNa go to college with their past. You know like stuff like that hat and then it's like we always celebrate like the I like their first step in their first word you know and it's like but you don't the things that like slip by their last. The you know like the last time they reach up for you to like pick them up or they crawl the last time they narratives like. And it's like yeah. It's heartbreaking waking up but it is like a new stage and every stage more legs mon hardships but its own blessing. They're last yeah. Oh my God because you never know if it's going to be the last year never no and then they just like Develop this. This is why women need women to talk to and like support each other because there's just so much and busy man like Manley now other Chad Yashar and the of course you need to you. Talk to your spouse but like there's just us need support all this it's so heavy is has more on that note we do. We did it. We made it through about cars Way More I think was the most embarrassing for free you right here. Oh and that's the story. You're gonNA thank you very much every up while we're recording guys okay so Katie Rookie Anti Arab did you draw one of those names all four you have already know Katie survey candiates airway Bette Cooper Potter. Sharing Elizabeth Potter is my legal share. Share yes Sharon. Elizabeth forgot that hotbed. Emily you dropped heffer the whole story and Caroline Hobby there. You having fun. Loving is when it comes to sports. History doesn't change or doesn't come find out on the special teams podcast which just now available on Jason Smith and Mike Harmon together. Jason are looking back at the most compelling teams in sports history why we rooted for them or against them as they achieved their title of best of the best do remember the big moments and maybe become aware of something. You didn't know each episode features a different team and we just know. I know you're GONNA love it. Checkout special teams right now on the iheartradio APP apple podcasts. Or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Katie Cooper Emily Shepherd Nashville Matt Scott Beth James He Chicago US Caroline Hobby China Emily Scheffer Serta Anita Louisiana La Belmont
Brittainy Taylor: Star of Very Cavallari on E! gets intimate about sharing her life on camera.

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

54:05 min | 2 years ago

Brittainy Taylor: Star of Very Cavallari on E! gets intimate about sharing her life on camera.

"Hey Guys Carolina Hobby here. Did you know that women shave ten times. The surface area of men but razors haven't been up for the job until now introducing billy delivering premium razors direct to you for half the price S. of what you find in the store go to my billy dot COM to get their starter kit including two razor cartridges a handle and their magic magnetic holder for the shower for only nine dollars. You can get four wreath. Oh blades for every one two or three months based on how often you shave and express little love Barr. Show go to mypillow dot com slash. Get Real for timbers enough your razor plus. Shipping is always free that spelled M. Y. B. I. L. L. E. DOT com slash. Get real the season. You know we're on this episode. Get Real podcast beautiful in brilliant Britain Taylor joining me. She is a star. Very Cavalieri Kristen Cavalry's hit reality TV TV show on e Britney and I talk about the highs and lows of having your whole world and life unfold on TV show and what it's like like to have people judge you people feel like they have the right to weigh in on your life decisions the pros and cons of putting yourself out there and that way she just turned thirty talk about her life lessons that she's learned in her twenties and her mindset that she's moving into in the thirties. She's wise beyond her years. She's also so freaking smart she does. It not for uncommon Jane's which uncommon James which is Kristen's store. That's blowing up so she coding and she enrolled numbers some at one point. She's she's explaining to you what she's doing and I'm like. Are you speaking English. I have no idea what you're talking about. She so smart she so fun she so wise and I just love this interview so you guys get excited. Here's Brittany Taylor Okay Song Brittany Taylor. We had quite a warning we did. I mean like hi welcome Carolina so so good to see you. I am so glad that we were able to do this. I didn't forget house. We've been taxi for a minute and I mean created. We haven't like Texas that many times. They're not have the right number. No I have I look. I also saw that dismissed. Three phone calls with you. I was like I'm outside your hi. I'm I'm here. Is that okay yeah behind the Kea because that's my car. Let me just preface this with that. I am recently broken up. I do not have a house to live in. I'm so I'm essentially homeless which you couldn't guess. Oh you're in great high. No I have really awesome friends. You can stay with me and so I've been staying in everyone's wins houses but like on conditions like have to water the plants here a lot of plastic lawn over there not really sure that people show up and so like like their schedules select their lawn mower or a guy for caitlyn showing up tomorrow but the pest control for here is today so like people run out of the House and I have absolutely no idea who they are what they're doing and so this beautiful walks in which by the way my sites at twenty one over one hundred. I don't have my glasses on and I opened the door and I mean my towel and there you are you're. Are you pretty tailor your Birdie. We've met hung out several times right. You look like you saw ghost and I did. I did like who who is this person in the living room. I thought someone had scheduled for this house. I thought like the owner scheduled. Whatever and I miss something because that's kind of my life right now home so I was like wait a minute. I couldn't have been for me and then I was like. WHOA WHOA pregnant blind caroline okay got it. We did schedule them. We did okay did I. I was late to my own thing in the House that I was already in when you came. Okay Hey L. I think keeping an exciting keeping real. Why not the new twenty thirty is the the new twenty? You're living your best life best. He and I feel life. You know hungover means three cups of coffee a forgotten podcast meeting and a dog that seems to be crying and hair that looks like this no makeup and filming in thirty minutes after we throughout this that's going on. I'm living life known saying definitely not definitely not dead. I think it's amazing God. I just I'm gonNA live vicariously through. This is going to be a lot of fun. It's GonNa be a Lotta Fun. I literally like my girlfriend was like what's your what's your goal now. They like things things you know. Things are changing in like but like I just WanNa have fun and then sure enough. This picture shows up from last night. Oh this looks share okay. Let's hear what what was. The pictures will explain. Selena lot is actually my right now. We are filming season Agree Cavalieri. That is my leg while you're on your back with your leg and the Aaron like splits position. Look at everybody being like what's happening. Is this filming on this this yeah. This is last night so your document. I can't wait to see this. Printing gone wild so season three a very cavalieri. A lot has happened in this show. Yeah a lot has happened in life and it's all been documented. Your Life has all been document the show yeah. How do you feel about it. How do you feel about having your life. Documentary Reality Show hasn't been fun. It's I mean fun is not the word what what is it like. It's surreal first off because I truly don't think that I'm anything special. You know like I like not that. I'm not like in life. I have people that love me and I love them but like when you think of like your normal everyday life and you're like wow I'm like taking a shower and being late to meetings having a nine to five you. Don't you just don't go what about me is totally interesting. I think people are GonNa like connect with and relate to and find either fun or cringe-worthy or whatever the difference is that they feel so leg that to me. I was like wow people more actually like pay attention yeah okay and then that's the scary part is what am I saying like. What's my voice now because like if people are watching then I have to say something with a backbone and did you know that wasn't happening when you first on the phone the first season or you're just like oh. It's not real okay so I remember telling ring my now ex. This is so weird that John Henry all been <hes> a little over a month. Now Okay so it's like hockey yeah but I feel like I've gone through the grieving process and I'm not like in the stage of being. Let's just like Party party. Fresh Yeah so saying that I I remember telling him. Hey there's this pilot and I. I don't know I don't know like I like. I had just gotten a phone call like hey would you consider doing a pilot or would you consider interviewing interviewing for it and so I did and I didn't. I didn't think I was going to cast it by any means that I was like wow I I'm all over the map clearly in life and in my storytelling so there's no way they're gonNA find interest in this and then we did the pilot and I thought that's where they develop like the characters they decide like who secondary or who like who story they're we're going to follow and obviously everything revolves. Kristin Kristin Cavalieri from the hills from the OC no not from uh-huh G. OG of Reality Reality TV Laguna beach was like the first one ever still such an insane following. They brought the hills back. I I know isn't that crazy yeah so yeah so I you know like start off. Okay why work for her so obviously there's the relevant so you already were working for her not entirely so today. I knew her. I was working at Taco at the time so weird best talkers in Nashville they are. They're really good actually best Margaritas in Nashville so I was over there yesterday clearly really <hes> but I I was. I was doing catering. I was working in catering for Bartok at the time and block agency mark would come in with Krista than so. There's there's all these little conversations we'd have here and there and then and that's a casting town agency yes and so I worked for Marco. Mark is also one of her really good friends friends and he knew that they were building a business and so even though I was casting for the show also handed in my resume okay and had like an interview with Kristen about like what I could do okay okay so I like it went from like it's almost simultaneous how it happened together and then it just became like I developed a really amazing relationship with Kristen and a love for uncommon James and so the job really losses yeah in the stores and Matt Mays and we were rolling in Chicago now. We have a temporary location. La and so she's really taking off and it's really been great to like work under her and and work with her and <hes> you know friend mentorship and all of that but but as you manage the store right I did now I'm director of. It what does it ideas like everything you can imagine so like from like fixing printers to like adding software till like building code. Can you build code <hes>. Are you genius like that. I'm weird you can build code. Yeah Yeah Begin Binary. Don't ask me to do math though like I'm serious in one's only what does speaking binary even Zeros and ones and like when you go in the back of something and see how it works and operates like else I mean I can read it yeah. Did you go for them. Oh my gosh I originally went to school for video game design and everything like a total nerd but you're like so hot in this video grandma's boy Gamer. That's what I thought I was. GonNa be like. I was like okay. All the great like Producers Video Games are women like people really don't know that but ah I was like okay I can be like grandma's boy. I can speak it with all the little nerdy crew and like and be like a girl on top like this'll be cool and then that's not the way the world went grandma's is blaming. It's a movie of a woman that runs a video game company on my God no no. I'm having so much today Knowledge College today so you're director of. It okay so how has it been having your life on tv because you got casted. You didn't thank you would pile would happen then. Didn't I mean we. The pilot in didn't think first season what happened first season happened didn't think seconds happened and when and truthfully like not not not to scare you wanna make it sound treacherous but like no one is really safe because the job is contingent upon the show and vice versa so like you really have to work in the business is professional and the more that it's grown roane. It's become even more pertinent that we're on the same page and like I'm literally just got a phone call right before I was taking a shower getting ready to go home and then I have to go to work mark so like I you really can't just be on the show unless you're not really a part of the business because otherwise like growing so fast. There's no time for like back <hes> like. I don't know if that's like to park but for the shit like you just have to like you have to get your job done and the company. I mean like it grew. It's grown on like I mean exponentially in the last year even compared to the last two years that it's been around so it just it's been insane so saying that it's great that the show has done so well for the business right like it's a great platform and it's really quickly but anything that build really quickly has a lot of like hiccups along the way 'cause it's just blowing up so fast. Oh Yeah we couldn't find enough bodies to get in and be like okay. Can we need to ship things out like Oh. We went from like hundreds of thousands of dollars the day like a store like on weekends. You can't even walk through so you know we went from like one register to register to register and six IPODS. You know like it's it's it's that's incredible but the downfall of it being on TV is that everyone is gets to see all those which I guess makes it relatable and it's cool and but you like open yourself up to a lot of criticism that I think in the beginning I really was not emotionally equipped for so what came at you in the beginning <hes> <hes> well. I think everyone in the show I was trying to find their way except for Chris because she's been doing this forever right. So there is a lot of friendships that I thought aw I was building that maybe he got blindsided and then had to learn the hard way on trust and relationships and shows and you had like some feuds is to <hes> they're real feuds. Are they are are you. Do you have just gone your separate ways or I. I was actually on another podcast and if you had asked me a couple of months ago I probably would have a lot snark your remark than I do right now but right now. I feel like I'm at peace with it. I think that I've said my statement eight -ment and what I said then what I say now is that I I want. Everyone to eat does not at my table and I just figured that like I want the best for. Are you guys and everything's GonNa be great on your end and I pray for that but <hes> I've gotta work on me and so I I I think I've laid it to rest but what I've made. I think the thirties made me decide what I want. When I don't want in my life okay so what does that. I just want fun yeah I just want to. I want to have good people. All I WANNA laughs. I don't want to worry about stuff. That's like insignificant and I feel like in a Lotta ways. There's so many big things happening in the world and there's like again like the business is building but then and there's you know there's other things that you can do like like charities. Are you know are are working within the community or you know really building relationships or even like what you're doing like. Being a mama like things are so much more important than worrying about someone saying by your back so if it doesn't serve you then you gotta go and that's where I'm at and that's the thing that would being on a cast last show like this so it's like it's Kinda hard to go when you're with these people all the time <hes>. How do you deal with working with people that you just don't vibe with <hes>. I'm really bad at it. I I wear my heart on sleeve. It's really hard if I don't get along with someone. It's it's very noticeable and not like I'm mean or I'm militias. I just shut down and I think it's because I like protect my energy. I've I've been getting. I've had this new core group of girls that are amazing using okay and I think I've seen you on the lake and stuff yeah. I have a girl tribe. Now which is so cool on. Is that amazing. One of the girls is in into a UH stones and crystals and things like that and I remember being run us one particular person and she was like I can just see your energy shift like you just like and she goes. You're protecting yourself. It's really good because every time this person talks to you. It just seems like you're sucking the life out of you just to have this conversation and so she handed this blackstone own apparently black stones and crystals are like to reserve the energy kind of thing so saying that I have a tendency to isolate and <hes> kind of remove myself. I seem very disconnected and disjointed but I'm professional. There's a business run in in everyone has a part to play in. It's it's not my business if they're there whether or not we have a job to get done so you're. Kinda got it just like blocking think so yeah. I hope so okay okay so after after the show became a big hit after season one in like it became a reality what happened in your brain like how did you transfer into this new mindset. Instead of people are watching me. My whole life is on TV like you're having feuds on TV. You're having your relationship with your then boyfriend now ex boyfriend like all all this is happening on TV so vast so. How do you process all that not well. I'm doing breathing techniques. Ivan Gordon a yoga. Do you have anxiety diety. Oh I mean if again like if you had asked me month ago my anxiety was through the roof and it's not for any other reason that I was like holding everything in and I have been really researching like emotional trauma okay and so I I think what happens is when you put yourself through a traumatic experience like not to be dramatic putting eating yourself honest age essentially and opening yourself up to criticism all across the board your whole personal life is now open for everyone my work my friend. Nothing was safe life and everyone gets the right to judge it right and then you had to learn to train yourself to not read. The comments are people mean not so much. I think the majority of people that follow follow actually like I get some really great inspirational ones like you know like I like. I've senior journey and I think you're doing a great job and you're like a really great <hes> beacon beacon for women in business and things like that but then there's all the little ones that are just like you're you should be fired. You don't belong in your physician or you can't you're an HR nightmare or for your boyfriend doesn't or he doesn't deserve that and here. You're going to be alone because the way you act so that that's a little tough to hear because because I am I honestly would rather body shaming really than than work ethic shaming or like my life shaming work. Ethic is everything to you. Oh God yeah I was like please please. You have no idea I work seventy hours a week like no way but then I then I try to like get quirky with it and I'm like H R me hot like and then you you actually can't you. You can't address it so you just have to ignore it. It's so hard in how do you can you just not look at it or is that just impossible. I've been getting better okay but it is tough because because you want to see you want to be accepted. I think that's the whole point of social media right like you're being social. You're talking to people you're having you're engaging and you're having a conversation for whatever it is for for likes or engagement or influencing and you want people to follow your journey because ultimately you are you are you're what you're becoming a brand similar to what you do but in that there are people that are entitled to their truth in their opinion of you and you just. It's been a ride to not take it personally yeah. I've been really reading those four agreements if lowering my phone like that. What are the foreground minutes. Let's go through everything in here so the impeccable with through word don't take anything personally that was that's it is don't make assumptions and always do your best that is so true but I have to like when those moments are happening. I have to really do it is the not taking personally without the hardest yeah. Because how do you not how do you not look across the table and someone says you should be fired and you go y. What do you mean I should be fired like. Why did I do and all you. WanNa do is prove to that person that you're right but in in the same fashion the people that are loving on you and not all because you have friends and all that but the people that are loving you on the suit on social media. They know you just as well as the people that are hating on you. So why are we feeding the energy towards the negative right you just across the board. It's great but it's also very superficial and if the show went away tomorrow I'd be nobody no you would donovan well. I mean in the sense of like I wouldn't be relevant to make you know to make those calls wouldn't be as engaged in your personal life may right so at the end of the the day it is truly relevant thing and it's not doesn't necessarily have to have them meet behind the bones kind of thing you know and I just have to. I had to really least down with myself and be like why is this triggering me you know why do I care so much and the truth is I wasn't proud of myself. What were you're not proud of. I'm I am very big on self deprecating even in this conversation I watch myself say I'm nothing special. I know you're so special but I mean I'm special to myself in my own right but then I'm I'm like I don't. I don't want to come off fine. You know like by what is that that makes you not want to own your worth and your specialness. 'cause I struggle with that. I've always struggled with like owning being. My word never thought that about you. Oh that's been my biggest trouble my whole life. Yes just not feeling worthy. Tell me how <hes> I just always feel like the runt of the litter really because I feel like you shine whenever you walk in overcompensate. I think I shine hard. WanNa shine see. It makes me teary because it's true true. I and I'm getting so much better at it. Like you know. The more you learn this about yourself. You have more you like embrace all of your <hes> once you accept accept these things that are lies but I just always felt like someone was better. Someone could do it better. Someone I always didn't I just didn't feel worthy or food or like if I get in a situation where you know I could have like a great thing happened. I always feel like I don't deserve it. Yeah I feel the same way. I don't know why I feel. Oh that way because I know I do and I know work hard and I know that like I bring everything to the table that I need to but it's also like yeah I just. I don't have that like Uber Confidence. We're like this is what I deserve. I hear I have arrive. Thank you world for giving me my stage. I never had that to your point though L. Like something I've always thought too is like there's always someone prettier smarter worthy more and and the truth is there is always somebody better but nobody's you and I think that's where I like. I have had to sink in. Can you tell them. This is the truth. You know I know but I never had that feeling though that <hes> deprecating trading I've always been a comeback kid into like I've always dealt what I think is always been the hard road and so but I think do it to myself. I don't think like I like when things are starting learning to come easy like this. Show right like I I got it. I'm like there's no way I'm getting acid. I was like there's no way I'm getting this job the job there's no and keeping this job and here here. I am like I've gotten. I've gotten four raises three title changes since I've been here. Mike why at what point am I going to be like man. I worked my ass off and I deserve to be here so you're not there yet not one hundred percent. Sometimes I sit back and I'm like I got this and there other days where I'm like. I don't I think I think what it really comes down to is. I don't don't ever want to take it for granted and I think at that instead of like just saying God. I am so thankful. Thank you so much my intention today to do better than I did yesterday today and I will get there. I go oh my God. What if I lost it right like what am I if I do something wrong like what if I'm not wearing the red offered or what if I'm not saying the right words like what if I don't connect with this person like what's going to happen and I just I lived I lived I will say as of today I feel like I'm a lot better at it but I I was living in fear that being a change at all and that comes to with that my entire life was opening up on a screen and the the hardest part about it all is not necessarily the fans or the the social media or whatever it is it. The hardest part is when you go to work doc or whatever conversation we have. You Go home and tell your lover your friends like man. Mackerel Britney like you know whatever you truly feel about me and I will never have to. I know about it right. The difference here is six weeks later. I watch it on screen. I watch what the conversation was between us to. I watched my reaction. I watch your reaction and rehashes rehashes it all over again and I'm like and then the world gets involved and then the world gets involved and it just doesn't become personal or intimate and I think that that to segue until I my relationship and why that has ended is dot kind of gotten to it was taken over and we lost a lot of what made ourselves special and I don't think it's it's not the show's does fault. It's the fact that we didn't foundationally have it together when we started and it really does dig deep but you just I mean you have to really be solved in who you are what you're doing. The other wise is GonNa fall apart because dot the point of what they're doing the story that they're telling they WANNA know every little like nook and cranny of insecurity you have <hes> and they they wanna see you build out on it but they wanna dig it. I and so you start like opening wounds. You've never thought you had before to give great stories right. Heo Caroline Hobby here. 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Listen and subscribe at Apple podcasts or on the iheartradio radio APP or wherever you listen to podcasts. Is it prompted or is it like how do you protect yourself then. How would you suggest not that everyone in the world is going to be on a reality show. That's a hit like how do you maybe everybody. How do you protect yourself. I think that the I think it's the same thing in any media like even whatever the realm you're in if you're a boss in your in your work if you're an amazing podcast journalists like if you're on a reality show you have to literally sit with yourself self when you enter into a new realm say what part of my energy am. I going to give like am I going to allow them in in in the sense you know I I don't want a lot of it has to be public and I have to talk about a lot but there are things that I have told myself in my relationships that I will not talk about like my girlfriend's friends and they call on camera there. They know that there are things within our friendship or stories that we have that like we're like no no these are sacred things <hes> but you have to talk with those people and you have to talk with yourself herself. I have no problems and this is something that happened. Last night where I was like. No I'm not talking about that. Are No. I'm not doing is that new for you. Guys knew when did that start happening <hes> last year because I watched it start to crumble was crumbling just in lake life life only because like again again even though the show revolves around uncommon james like I saw it a job to do and I was getting so worn down thin. I was working like sixty seventy hours a week at work and then topple on thirty hours of filming and then trying to make everything else work in between life and maintain your relationship right and not feel guilty like not feel guilty that something else in my life was taking turn right <hes> and so like a really honestly why turn thirty like my thirtieth birthday. This is my golden year so thirty on thirty yes girl and I I like wrote these intentions for myself. I'M A G write down a lot. I was really impressed with mice okay. Let's hear him. I love intentions. I think that's so smart to do that. I get these because I think you have to set goals for yourself or else you. You don't know where you're going. Yeah and I think that like what I learned to like. The difference between the goals and my intentions was like I I I these are things that I feel for myself. You know like I can like a goal like to me was like okay. I WanNa make millions of dollars you know but my intention was to love myself. You know they're both attainable. Well I mean one more than the other but right. I feel like the difference too yeah. I said different standard like your career goals okay. That's one thing but your personal no self goals. Yeah like my my Soglesby Soglesby. I love that your soul goes okay. What are your goals so I intend to forgive myself and move forward and that was is for personally the stuff that I had loud on TV and and the fact that I felt like I lost myself and I was getting at at this point I had been getting mad at everyone was really angry and truly. I was just mad at the little girl inside who just couldn't speak up for herself so I said I intend to forgive myself and move forward. I intend to not allow myself all victims of circumstances of my past or the thoughts of others that are beyond my control. I intend to be a leader under my own strength and growth guide others in that direction. I intend to not take things personally and reflect before react in the moments that I do smart. I intend and eat healthy more kind of works a little bit and keep my body. I keep the castle. That is my body strong. In abundant. I intend to keep my mind in a positive thoughtful growing in ever-evolving evolving state I intend to love with my whole soul and sharing my heart thoughts with those I care for I intend to love myself unconditionally and not be be afraid of the heart interpersonal communication but always remember the hug the little girl within for she is so loved <hes> and then I talked about intend to be writing again and don't don't for the most part. I think I'm really living truth. You know that's so powerful. Yeah I think a one of those things that all of the all of those had uncommon was I needed to be okay with being on my own and not not just physically but emotionally be nuts out and I think for a long time I had been very codependent on how others felt about me giving me the energy that I can only get myself. How do you break that. 'cause that's hard like the people pleasing. You have to purge like I did. I A and not not not necessarily people which I did but I had to purge. All these thoughts like I literally would say something and be like okay. Why did I do that. Like why did I sit the the other day. When I was just like I can't do that. That's way too hard and I remember going. Why is it hard is a way to hard because I don't want to do it or as a way eight to hard because I can't do and what do I mean by can't like can I research it can figure it out to do. I just need to ask for help and just being really truthful with myself like okay. Maybe I physically basically can't fit like pick up a four hundred pound barbell because there's just like doesn't work but if I needed to move it. Could I figure out how to do it so when when you said I can't do. It's too hard. What was the actual answer when you thought about it. I just needed to ask for help and were you able to do it yeah. The other thing. Too is like I this stage in in my life. I realized how frequent stubborn I am. You are yeah. It's an ego pride thing to be like. I've done this. I did it you know but it's much more. I someone told me in in transition in my life that strength is not determined by what you do on your own. It's determined by how you get through it and the strength of knowing like your limits like knowing that I physically can't do something on my own so I have to lean on someone or lean in and that's been really eye-opening experience for me to be able to like lean in in two other people and onto the wise that hard for you I think because for a long time I thought that it might have been a weakness like if you can't can't do it. She's a lost cause yeah yeah and my mom going back to my family like my mom and went through a few marriages and <hes> you know. I watched her be very like codependent and I think also like I was raised like love. Don't pay no rent and kind of thing like be independent female. Get your sheepskin like and for a while. I was like I'm the superfeminist women s like. I'm GONNA do everything but like being like a gals gal or a feminist or a strong woman or an independent woman does not mean that you don't ask for help so so true. What have you learned from asking help what has actually what did you thought that would be weakness. But what has it actually been. It's made me be able to trust people really yeah because before are you couldn't trust. Oh God no because I thought everybody had a motive or intention. Why did you think that because I think that's just how I felt. I'm like if I like I feel like with everything that happened with the show like things were just kept secret in the beginning and there was no discussion about it and no talks because truthfully. I would take it when they you were like hey. We don't want you to talk to caroline until we get there because we want to talk on camera right but when I first about I was like a wish you going to say to me well. You said they're gonNA catch you like yeah. Yeah get you on the track. It was like a fear but in reality they just wanted to catch an authentic conversation. Totally that wasn't already had right so that same thing with acting asking for help. I think for a very long time I thought if I ask for help they're gonNA they're gonNA walk away and they're gonNA say wow Britney is really weak or Brittany's. It's really emotional or she's not good enough of an just comes from like self-doubt like that. If I ask for help people are gonNA think a Moocher or they're gonNA think I'm like week week. <hes> and reality down to. I thought I was weak but in reality no like it's been greatly this core group of girlfriends. I was like man I you know. I'm going through this break up. I don't so if I can say we we live together and like stay at my house and my short absolutely like doors open and I realized that people don't offer health that they don't want to give that makes them feel oh good and that was a great thing so I could lean on them and then I can show appreciation and then that develops a relationship and I have this forever friend that like I don't know I I don't own them. Anything like I don't have to pay for my stay but I need love right. Just love sharing love and being there for your friend because that is isn't that what life is really but it's allowing yourself to be vulnerable yeah. Has that been hard for you to be vulnerable. I think so but you're doing it I think so. What are you learning about vulnerability. Oh Gosh that it's scary why why is it so scary because I feel like that's one of the hardest things for people to lean into being vulnerable because you're exposing the fact that you're showing your Kryptonite yeah but we all have it and we all need each other so will being vulnerable. <unk> is so beautiful but it is such a hard thing to do yeah but it is beautiful WANNA. Do It 'cause like you realize I think the the only thing I can describe it is like like literally like there's a picture of this. I think this boy and he's like handing. It's like a cartoon UNAMENDED. This boy like haning is hard to this girl and it's like not to break it right and I think that that's what it is. It's like I'm literally showing you all of my cards and I'm asking you not to fold yeah so so. I don't know if I'd even said that right but I don't know anything about. I get what you're saying and I like it. Don't take don't take it all but <hes> and then like you know you share a piece of yourself and I think that that part of like loving with my whole heart like part of loving with your whole heart is like giving someone those those the same things that you were afraid of because they can't love just the best sides of you know you know they have to they have to love and the same thing about you know when you when you do shows or when you do go a little too so far maybe. I've been talking about this break up way too much like I want. My girlfriend's be like all right girl time's up figure this out. Let's get a drink. Do you WANNA massage. It'd be like we go out for an I like because that's what that's where that comes from because you can't sit in your own shit all the time to cry at a high don't have anywhere to live or whatever I'm doing if I'm not helping myself or asking others for help and that all that has a timeframe of being like okay. I'm I'm going allow myself this time to grieve and this time to fix it and this time to move von and then I have another story to tell and that's kind of where I think it's most important vulnerable because otherwise I feel like you then you start just dwelling uh-huh and then it all build and then not emotional trauma I had been talking about I read this or a watch this article about like equivalent emotionally emotional trauma physical trauma and it was like physical trauma. You stepped on a nail and what do you do you address it like you figure out whether you need help or you take it out and you move on and you let your body heal and you don't think twice about it and but emotional trauma is like stepping on a nail and putting lighter. Canaan your foot for ten years and the living it gangrene your entire like has gangrene. That's the equivalent of what you're doing so like if you take all that emotional trauma and you you you hold it in you know. I've I've held it in for a long time. I think that's why my tiny is pie. You mom which the hurricane is coming. You're you're you're tied. Name is high. You Mom Pie you ma which means the hurricane is coming so it's just been building. God from your whole life my maybe baby but my grand my grandmother used to say to. I watched you. You just my grandmother's tie by the way that's where you have beautiful. You Look Beautiful. Thank all right now. I'm seeing this yeah. I smell like Tequila and your own breathe on me. I would love some Tequila. Are you kidding me. I'm ready for of Margaret Regret here. We go Noah Gert Never Gertz Villiger. Okay the hurricanes been coming. The hurricanes been coming in here it is and so I thank God it's here and you're just thirty so you can just go ahead and move through it. I know I can create whether island now you can create island. You don't have your free. You're you have no kids. You know man. You have really just responsibility of soul searching for yourself and making sure you're happy so it's really the perfect time for the person to hit yeah. It is and you have a backbone of life now because you've lived through a lot of things without being cynical because I don't think that there is very much in my my life that I haven't forgiven myself or others and I like saying that though I can create the boundary that I will not say yes. I'm not a yes man anymore. Isn't that wonderful. I remember I remember I did that too. Because there is a season in my life I had broken up with my boyfriend. Who's now my husband. I was living in Austin. Dan and I was like I'm just going to say yes to everything because I didn't know what I wanted it so like I just like. Let's just try everything yeah which is great to you have to but then you get to the point where you know your nose and that is actually so inspiring when you find out what your nose are now to me. It's not even knows it's like it's not a hell yes or no you know it's even farther now but you have to go through all of that whole transition of like yes try it all learn your nose and then like really word you want to spend your time yeah. So how did you learn your nose. You're saying yes and finally you're tired of idea. When I moved to an island my biggest break up and I did a lot of the and you really moved moved to Nyland's Saint Thomas when I graduated college broken with a boyfriend then it's very similar rate was like I moved away. I did whatever I was like living like living the island lifelike roster foreign in having the best time of this it was the best I I do miss it a little but saying that like I that's where my ambition came from because there's only so much you can do in Iraq. Okay okay okay. I'm twenty three in this is boring today and I have to. I have to like I I got. I got something moving and then I went to Miami and I lived the life Miami. It was great but I did everything I went to every night club I could I hung out with the WHO's who in the whereas where during the what's what and then I was like God I need. I literally was like I need some God in my life lifelike. Miami's just like this is crazy and the national showed up had national show literally just like on a quote unquote about because I wanted I thought it was gonNA move to L. A. And there are some quote about. La The national and I was like natural and my girlfriend was moving here and he's like hey. Do you WANNA go check it out. I was like yeah you know what I do so we I visited in October. I I found a place in November and then I decided I was. I'm pretty impressive myself. twenty-five. I decided I was going to spend Christmas by myself. So I moved here on Christmas. Eve and Christmas and spent Christmas by myself like went to Toronto midnight mass.. I myself went to Chinese restaurant like went to the movie and spent Christmas all alone. How was that it was it was liberating. You weren't sad I mean I miss my family but I think that was the point point was like you know I was getting to a place of being numb of being like what makes me happy. And what do I miss and what what what are where am I where am I where am I values I use <hes> and so when you spend such a like family oriented life giving event my Christmas on your own you really uh realize what you miss and I needed it so it just kinda like opened up cracked open. Your soul yeah I needed to believe in Santa again really happened. You needed to know Dan Dan and everything yeah. I mean ain't my own cookies but that's fine so that's amazing. Did you find out in that then that experience dance I found out that I was okay with being alone but that that's a choice you know and I found out that I missed my family and so I've really made efforts in the last five years because I was. I've been a big kid and I turned eighteen. I couldn't wait to get out of the House and I couldn't wait to go out and do adventures like I didn't. I don't have a family where like they're. They're gonNA kill me. If I don't come for a family event. They'll be sad but I really made the advance of like to call my mom every day. If not every other day I never did that. I never did that. <hes> my grandparents you know like when I go home I used to stay like at a hotel or with a friend and then like visit my grandparents now and I go I go and stay with my grandparents and visit elsewhere because those are my core people and I love them and I miss them and I don't Wanna a miss a moment you know knowing that that time is now getting so limited and it's really made me intentional on who I spend my time with because I was like where where am I missing like. Where's my heart for the most <hes> so it was it was good and great yeah? That's so true because I think it's so important at some point in your life to do exactly what you did move to an island moved to Miami. Obviously you don't have to really move these places but live this kind of life. You know where you are in the scene. You are living it up. You are like like on the town in the live doing everything because that's fun important. I think to know what that feels. It's like Oh yeah and experience. Other people like that was the thing is like the people in Miami are not people in Saint Thomas and they are not the people in Philadelphia and they are not the people in New York and they are certainly none of them are like the people in Nashville all yeah. Why don't you live in New York. I was like a summer data's. I and they're not the same people in. La like just just being able to like experience like or like via tourists in a city like just live life and like live with everybody and the greatest about traveling and like being in different places and really spending intentional time in those places that you lose any. I- I'd prejudice is the wrong word but like any stigma of how you view people because you just like. I just wanted to see people interact like I wanted to see. I wanted to go to a full moon party and Saint Thomas like I wanted to spend Christmas my own hold hands with the strange woman in Nashville like I wanted to have like the best pizza in New York City after like going to all the nightclubs like I I wanted to go and sit at a you know a game at the Miami Heat and watched the fans like during like I wanted to see at the total element of what makes the city a city and just like okay cool and then take from those people all these earning lessons of like what I won't do you know like I won't spend the my entire life without any ambition just like let a coconut fall from a tree because I think there's so much more like that. You like you're meant to be on this to give so. You can't just like isolate completely but sometimes you need it. <hes> <hes> you know and same thing with Miami like I you know it's great to have fun but sometimes you need substance <hes> <music> so it's been a really great learning experience. I think overall I've done the human life pretty well. What have you learned about people. In general I think people are at their very core really good and they just WanNa be accepted and I think everyone along the way get a little lost on what that means and how to define it and life gets in the way <hes> but I think in their very core. Everyone is just really good. You know I just I see love and everyone I mean even even the the people were ended up not being friendly with I know at the very end of the day someone loves them and they deserve it and that they just want love. Betas want love yeah mazing. You've done so much in your thirty years. You know what's going to happen. The next thirty years. It's going to be beautiful because you have such a solid foundation and I love flying instagram because you do a lot of quotes and a lot of service to measure no like self positive self talk and I actually talked a lot of people out self talk because I had really bad self talk for a long time and I've really worked on changing myself. Chocolate Kinda went hand in hand with like self worth and all that what is your self talk like. Ooh Mayan is I've I've had I have to learn to be a little gentler with myself because mine is a little sarcastic and now yeah mine's like what the fuck are you doing. Why are you doing what's wrong with you and then I had to take away. I was like stop saying what's wrong with nothing wrong with me like I remember sitting in the mirror like why am I talking talking this way but it's more the little crazy myself talk is not. I think all of our self talk is nuts but do you think it has anything to do with being a woman like I wonder like as little like when we grew up as is girls girls in middle school. I tend to like just be mean to each other. Sometimes I was that kid. I got made fun of a lot and you did oh. I think it sticks with you. I think if you are I think whatever happens an imprint child does stick with you in make in kind of triggers yourself talk yeah and I think that that for me definitely had like an impact and so having to like remove all the wiring agree wire <hes> and just like again myself talk is I might be a little sarcastic but then I turn around and go why did I just I do that. Like why am I saying that. Why do I feel this way. Why am I so reactive. What's going on with you. Did you have too much coffee today. So you'll get down to it. You'll catcher it yourself and do it with everything I do too and I think that's the good and the bad of me. Is that even like for for example. Somebody in my life had a rumor that was being spread about them and I was like well. You got to go to the source. I'll call her. Just get after it. Gallo girl high. You don't say something you know what I mean or they. You don't want someone to call you on but that can also be misconstrued as aggressive but for me. It's just like shut up instead of just letting it circulating late and spin and create a whole life. Just knock it out on the same way like if there's something that needs to be addressed letters address it right one especially if you know your intentions are good like I know personally. I'm I'm not trying to mess anyone's life up. If someone has the wrong intention of me it probably is not for sure is not my intention so let's talk about it right. Give me just talk about it and if we still don't like me then that's fine and half the time by the time it gets that person. It's already like sixteen times over the story. That was already the original one so you have to go out of the person that said it. I and I've learned to be gentle. Even about that like what's up you know and if you did say it I wanNA know why and is it something that we resolve or. Is it something that we've got to go. Go to coffee over or maybe we can't go to coffee because we'll throw out the coffee on each other but like figure out why you know and I don't need you to like me or accept me but I do need you to respect asked me. I love that that's good. That's good yeah 'cause my people. pleaser wants everyone to like and accept me. I mean it's hard. I there are days where I'm like. Please love me. I know but you're right if you can just respect you that's really the goal yeah because everyone deserves on yeah. You know just being human can be a good human. So what are your goals this year thirty years old. You're you're just starting filming season three very cavalieri. You're single. You got a girl tribe. You're living like your best life. What what's on the horizon for you and then I'm GonNa. Let you go because you've got to go film. What time is it you gotTA timing coming. We're getting a great yeah. <hes> what is life. GonNa look like in the thirties. I I want to travel a little bit more. <hes> and I think I'm really going WANNA start looking at only because I know that this time is limited. You know with like this show and all of that stuff like I my job I wanna I wanNA do really great with my job and and I want to do some really cool projects. We launched a software called net sweet and I was like my biggest project net sweet jazz. Aarp model. It's like if you're speaking. I know but it was great for me. It was like one of those are why your sweet so. It's like okay so it would be the equivalent of you starting this podcast like the gratification of like that launching okay so it's just like this big big deal for it was a big deal so now. I want to do one more big deal but I I wanna you know I really want to figure out my trajectory with uncommon James and how that's GonNa look <hes> but you know with the show and knowing that that is limited to like whatever it could get cancelled tomorrow well <hes> I want to figure out what my passion is and then turn that into something as well I think but right now just living in the moment I want to really love on my girl tribe and I just I really just want to have fun. I just WanNa like be so excited about things like I want to live live like a little child. It'd be like you know. People people have been doing such nice things for me and I I like I feel like my eyes brighten and has been the best feeling in the world is like I'm no longer numb <hes>. I'm just so excited or if I'm sad. I'm sad but I'm like I'll. I'm allowing myself to be sad. You know you're not fighting. No why in those feelings aren't bad. It's okay to feel sad. Actually you should go and feel it all the way and get through it and out of it yeah yeah because on the other side of that is a rainbow it is. I think you have to field field all the way to the bottom. Once you get to the bottom then you're like okay. I actually lived through. This actually didn't die and it opens you up in a different way. <hes> speaking of bottom are you. Are you dropping. She's do by the time this podcast Ariza. She'll be born sure excited yes. I know I mean I'm going. It'd be a mom. I don't know if I'm qualified but it's happening. Hey I only get anybody's qualified for anything. You just get blessed. You blessed just roll with it yeah. Maybe an amazing Mama I just know it I hope so I hope we're like kate and Goldie Hawn Kate Hudson and Goldie Hawn. That's my dream now one. Yes I want her to love me. See I'm already like please. He's just love me my best. That's what it is. It's like there's an unconditional between a mama and our kids so there's no. There's no worry there but I want her to like want to let me I don't want her to force love up and want her to like just loving you know like the coolest. Do you ever see the woman's a little cookie and she's like I like you. I love you mommy but sometimes I don't like you. I can handle Mike. It's like I love you but sometimes you're. You're not fun right. Okay fine. I WanNa hear you when you're typing. Yeah I guess you gotTa have about. It's going to be great. It's going to be a big adventure big relationship the big the biggest <hes> Okay Sarah. Every podcast with leave your light okay so obviously so you're super inspiring. You've learned a lot. You have a lot of knowledge wisdom all sorts of things. What are you gonNA share it. People like what is just something that you want people to know that. Maybe you wish you knew a piece of advice. Just some words of wisdom that you want to embark embark enlight- enlightened I don't try say okay. I have been living this this <hes> native American story and has been something that has really sat with me and I even want to get a tattoo of it. I love it so much but this is something that I really live by so a grandfather is telling his grandson that there are two wolves that live inside of me mhm one of them is love and acceptance and empathy and the other is hate and jealousy and anger and the grandson says which one wins to which he replies whichever one you feed. I love that <hes> feed the right wolf top tonight. You're amazing pay. I like dealing with me today. Nearly like wait to your key comes over. I'm just telling you it's going to be in this moment. You're going to meet with it. I just showed up and like you're in a towel and you're like who the hell are. You not supposed to be here today and you're like Britney Taylor like it's me caroline line hobby and I was like all my time. Is this the right. This is where it's like dude. Where's My car. We've been texting right like no. We just drag back. No we have not been texting like how did I get here. Wait a minute caroline like God. I love it. It's great. Thanks for giving me grace how you did that today. You're the best thing to this podcast. Go Great. They finally thank you. My Name is Danny Shapiro and I'm the host of family secrets. A podcast asked about the secrets kept from US secrets. We keep from others and the secrets we keep from ourselves. Family secrets is a show where you can hear powerful stories of heart right great healing and hope wasn't a season to a family secrets apple podcasts the iheartradio APP or ever you get your podcasts <music>.

Miami Caroline Hobby Brittany Taylor Nashville Kristen Cavalry billy La Britney Texas Saint Thomas James Barr M. Y. B. I. L. L. Carolina Selena caitlyn
Drake and Alex White: Country Artist and his earth angel wife talk about Drakes debilitating brain condition that almost left him dead after a stroke on stage and their intimate encounters with God.

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

1:31:56 hr | 1 year ago

Drake and Alex White: Country Artist and his earth angel wife talk about Drakes debilitating brain condition that almost left him dead after a stroke on stage and their intimate encounters with God.

"Is Caroline Hobby a time. When self care is more important than ever, every day is an opportunity to get damaging styling tools and chemicals focus more and better hair growth from within nurture full is formulated with potent botanical to help you grow hair as strong as you are, and it's physician formulated to be one hundred per cent drug free. You can grow thicker healthier hair and support our show by going to. To neutral dot, com and using the Promo. Code Get real to get twenty percents off plus free shipping. That is the best offer anywhere. That is in U.. T. R. A. F. O. L. DOT COM Promo Code get real for hair, strong as you are extending Expi- by is more than just fast. It's Internet that gives you peace of mind security, because if it's connected, it's protected. Yeah, even your robot vacuum. Can Your Internet do that? Learn more extending dot com slash X. Y.. In. gator. Just. We. Really. CARE. Hello Alex Great White. and. Coming in Shaw Cozy on the Evening Times eight o'clock at night. We've got our blankets. Wine I should have gotten wine. I didn't even get any. It was fourth of July yesterday so I drank a little bit too much for myself. I know that much kind of went for it yesterday. Yeah I trod bearded not. Have a beer like a really lot. michelob ultra something to sits. This is not. Like yesterday! It, up he loves our in the fourth of July. You get excited. It is holiday. Yet you've got a good place to shoot some fireworks two. Eliana definitely. Is a good place to do anything that that. You. Know just to go a little further than you might. Inside the city limits. That's right. Yeah, everyone, listening and people in National. They have a beautiful space called white would hollow that can be rented as an event space as a party space. It is just we had our friend. Amanda Satcher season. she's near to bill. Who's in the thousands? We had her baby shower there. It is literally the most gorgeous space every Yuba. Come live with some use it from white would hollow. Yes, I mean you know just adapted to the craziness of of the pandemic or whatever we. Actually at at Amanda. Amanda baby shower a man Michael in So the Guy Dale and some of the guys were talking about dislike missing playing. You know we're. Having, that's what. People a lot of people don't understand that that's what we absolutely love to do is just like playing baseball or you know something like that and like you miss playing, so we started talking about. Planning the barn. Men Alex built the barn in was finished in in subtle literally that next Wednesday it which was sixteen weeks. We've done at sixteen weeks in a row now. Yet. And it's been. It's been such a blessing for for us. Alex is cooked in Hong Out. You know our fans responded to in the music. You know the demand we've. We've stayed sharp. We've played. We've remained no fluid in Kinda Kinda, grease. wd forty. If you play every every week, so. Feels good do it. Does, it lives like live streaming. I had US go. Yeah, it's just a law broadcast I've got an incredible. Of. Social, dude named Zach canoed sin, and he puts it out on. Youtube, facebook instagram. Just all of our social blasted out. You know and and we just throw up a minutes live as it gets. You know there's no rehearsal. That a couple of weeks and just let it out pretty. Thank you yeah on. The events were canceled, so you don't have to worry about anything. Conflict, schedules or anything just set up. It's. been, it's been A. Unbelievable blessing for the guys you know I. I was unsure we'll get into, but we were. We were already to a point where affects injury having my injury. I just opened open the gates up like hey, if you own a tip, is you know if y'all got paid out? SEATTLE. In the fans, just the gates open in. It gave the guys you know. gave the gas a lot bill. You know the guys ability to kind of you know. Breathe a little bit in that that that's the been the hardest part about some of this is all of our crew in our or bands. You know just going out there in. Out Making it making it, so it's been awesome. Awesome to get out there in. In do something to to get into people's homes in MBA lights. and just have a good time in Kinda. Give people a little bit of A. Medication through music you know. So, you mentioned Free, so not what? Nikolai Wednesday night therapy, so it's like a therapy session every Wednesday with all the music. Ready hanging in playing in Talkin so. It is I KINDA WANNA. Talk to you about do talked about your injury. Drake, because for everyone who knows right, you are probably one of the most soulful incredible performers out there like it is a revival. No longer show. You have so much heart and passion just like wild energy, and so we're in the middle of performing a show. And you had a stroke in the middle of it. and. Everything changed their talks about how what happened and your? How you? The process of dealing recovering politics because I know it's been quite the journey. Yeah, it's been. It's been crazy journey out of our. Work now early, January two thousand, eighteen got a really bad headache ended up with A. Machine and found this. Thank on the navy. M Much is an arterial Venus. Malformation and it was here. It was about the size of a lemon are long. In, it's just a water veins in our as to have been that have been there. My entire life so the headache did not stop in. So we started the process of immobilising it. which is glowing. It shut which was. He said six five or six surgeries of. Running a catheter. Artery into the back of my brain in gluing this Wada are shut. So Caroline, we were four four. We were four surgeries through to that, and that was the cool thing about this surgery first of all his name. Is Dr Miracle? The Bird Sir that was the brain surgeons name and. He. He's ten minutes down the road. And he's one of the best in the world. Ten care these things, so it's just the perks of limited Nashville you know. So we get. Chip and through this and you know May Alba's lack heck. I considered it pretty cool like maybe after I do get adequate blood flow to my Brian. This thing gets MBA's. Maybe I can play lot Hendrickson rat Dylan I. Don't know. Maybe maybe it's something that's GonNa, be awesome, and what else is there to think of? Think of it like that I. Think of it negatively, so we started talking about you. Know may help us have a baby and it may May. Help play better right better. Who knows so? We get rolling on the procedures and we get seventy five to eighty percent of is we go off to Roanoke Virginia, which is about seven and a half hours away from music city in. s about ninety eight degrees in August and we've been playing all year. You know through these surgeries. And you. Know. It's not just like Oh. Let me sit in play. It is like you are like sometimes you like climb the Poles and like your wild energy in the its distance so much fun to watch you, so this is not just like oh playing standard in. You're all over the place. Yeah Yeah! They do a procedure on like a Tuesday, and then he would get on a bus at midnight on Thursday in play. The show Friday Saturday come on Sunday. and Dr. Like as long as he's taking. This medication kills cray low pressure medication. What Bay recommended to keep his blood pressure down. He. Go play in. He was just gone like every thirty days of procedure. Come back. That was a routine, and it would take him about two weeks to get back to feeling like he was one hundred percent in Seattle, and so we didn't really think anything about it until the fourth procedure when. You know he was on stage in it. It ruptured ABM part of the avian ruptured. So good snow ruptured. What does that mean? So mob mob blood pressure from Ben the. Eddie Better Garth Brooks topic perform that. I was jumping around in. Any other show in Started you know man blood pressure got up in. It spiked as as it always does, but this time. it got up in. felt like this kind of weight is like is wait was pressing down on my shoulders on my left shoulder, and then I heard something pop, and when heard something pop everything. I was holding on the Mike left hand in Addis remember gripping really. Tot to the mark but I I felt like I was about to drop the MIC in our member map monitor tech, coming up in my ears, and saying hey, you okay. In the next thing you went lamp in drug may off stage and I just remember thinking when I was backstage because I knew what had happened, because we knew that risk but the risks. Were percent. This is only a four percent chance of this happening. So. I get offstage. In is in the form of. It's like a stroke lock thing. it's a brain. Bleed is what was happening? It had ruptured ABM. It ruptured in. It began bleeding into the mobile cortex of my brain. That operates. My left hand left foot. On so. They. I was five minutes ten minutes away from trauma, one unit, which was a huge blessing America's. Big Deal like if you wouldn't have been near that hospital. This rupture is. It could have been serious right like it was. Of You died for sure right well, yes. I was close. There was some close calls anyway for them to get the bleeding. Stop nap kind of thing, but you know we play all over the world and I may have. We just played in Bahrain earlier that year, so in kind of a USO tour, so you? You just can't your blessings about being. It was supposed to happen. You know just. What was you're next to? heroin hospital million hostile on Roanoke Virginia. On that kind of injury. They were trauma into civility in had on staff neuropathy, which is not typical. Your typical hospital doesn't have in your staff on. You. Know there twenty four seven in so within. Ten minutes of falling on stage they were already. Had packed folder. This was the first show I admire got. A true Miracles that happen along the way and this was I. Remember Y'all time. Michael night a story. This is one of the first miracles because you had hacked. Randomly. Put this folder in Drake's bag. Yeah so I'd gone with him to every show all these procedures. Just you know, maybe in who I am, tap a person unlike gotta make sure I take his blood pressure, and he's got blood pressure medication, and he has water and I'm standing up stage, so the sweetest heart in the world for everyone listening. If you ever want to know what a walking Angel Excite. It's Alex White. There's no one with a better heart. Off things care. You're here. So this was the fourth procedure his crew team. They're all amazing. All the guys in the bandages so awesome in supportive in you know they knew big. Game Plan. They knew what to do. If something happened because I had this folder on to be a schoolteacher. Show you just organization is like number one to me so I had this photo with all information. When he had been through all the procedures he had had and what to do in case, he hemorrhaged because we knew that was a risk and so. His tour manager calls me and says hey. drake PESCE, von stage, Can you give me Dr Miracles number? And said I don't have you know the neurosurgeons personal number you know in by this time. It's probably six PM in Nashville Seven PM in roanoke. And I said what's happening and he can explain to me what happened in asset? Take his of his bag of medications that take his bag of medication in the folder that that's in the front gate English. Straight to the emergency room and he said okay. They've already got unloaded in the ambulance. What's in voter again? Search on, MSN just hand that to paramedics, and so they handed to paramedics, and they realize ability of what was going on. An 'cause even said these are distant. Country Voice from Roanoke Virginia you know. Checking on him, but they knew immediately to take into the Neuro Trauma Center because it was a brain injury, so yeah, just such a godsend that. Now, the photo was there. It had all information. They already had his doctors names in the facilities that he had had treatments at you, and so they were able to reach out and contact on on the hospital's behalf, so it wasn't you know anyone having to personally call the doctor from roanoke yeah in within. You Know Fifteen br when your brain starts to blade like that in the tissue in your brain starts to get affected by the blood. Like, it is just so important. The time is everything, so we're. We're there at the hospital. Within fifteen minutes of it starting bleed, and then decisions Dr Miracle Doctor here in in Nashville was contacted in in in directing them what to do in. They hadn't neurosurgeons looking at my scans, looking at my brains and they they administered this Abi that got the brain the blood. The blading stop! In that would. That's That's another miracle because we're talking, you know death is a is a is all obviously the worst case scenario, but it slack. This is a lot life. Death decisions in in permanent damage your permanent damage. Brain damage also. Yes if if that's till stroke patients now. I mean of course we saw the johns before that we didn't know with Asandra stroke like the numbness and the lack of spatial awareness in not being able to see so all of these things were tidbits of you know, a stroke. Yeah, yeah, and so now we know yes, certainly go straight to work when you think of a stroke you think of A. A Gut like Alison Allah would have felt like was the best shape of my life where I was working out hard to Feign in thirty five years old, and and just felt great man, you band. We had new energy new winner sales and all that stuff, but a- wasn't a hill thing. hours house, Angus shape, right. It was a result of this ABM. Rupturing in hemorrhaging. in my brain that that caused. The stroke is a stroke. Stroke is what they call it, so it was it was a direct. Result of that them ABM in warm debt, so it was just. Crazy had it until you got those headaches so now when you are in the hospital Dr. miracles directing what's happening then what what goes on in Alec. How're you feeling during all of this? Well hours in Nashville We were finishing up the barn, so I was constantly doing little. Thanks to finish that and check things off. Lizzo estate here and was actually on my way back home from Lowe's when I got the phone call so I'm driving drake's truck with the truck full of supplies citizen, thank stains and things with Barn. You know getting over there to work and I just turned the car and started driving north when his tour manager called. called. I was like I don't know how to get there. I'm going straight north to Roanoke Virginia so I. I never stopped at Apple debrincat set map Girona Virginia, and he, he sent me the address like three fourths of the way, there to get to which specific hospital at and and so seven and a half hours in just turn the car north in started building north in our brand, hallway and I mean I was trying to. Call his parents, and just let them know what avenue which was very little. You know at the time, so I just let them not be praying that directed fall on stage. They're not sure exactly what was going on. So the whole way on macarthur myself in house seven and a half hours to to driving. Pray while along with your thoughts. So long methods and you should do nation from the hospital. They wouldn't release any information. Yeah, and they went to a store manager anything because he wasn't family. So, You're so spiritual. You're such a spiritual warrior. What did that highlight right? What was that experience like for you? While equal. Hasn't lows. I was crying, but then would be like okay. It's GONNA be fine. God's got this got control. He's going to be there in the room. And not that I kept constantly praying that God was in the room that God was with the doctors and the nurses in that Lord would protect Drake asking word word to send his angels down to protect him Lexington angels down to protect him in then the night we got married There was a lightning storm like never rained on us, but we could see the rain in storm out over the ocean. We got married at the beach in. This is really cool. Lightning storm. It was like fireworks out in the ocean. And so on the way there about four hours into the trip, a lightning storm came, and it was just lightning the entire way, and so I was like Okay God's just reassuring me Latkes okay. He's GonNa be fine. You guys are going to be together shortly. You know so. It was just. Little things like that happening in I would pray like Lord Please let Dr Mural call me hours trying to get in touch with his own associate I work with him to that. We kind of had a connection with and so finally. I don't know four or five hours into trip. I get a call from Dr Beautiful personally from him. He was like this my personal cell phone. Call me if you need anything. Keep me updated on Drake's progress in. He told me what was going on. And he said Drake's a part of his avium. Get Rupture in east had. Called him radic show. In he said they're gonNA. Continue to do. cat scans in is the next forty eight hours are very crucial. Now like they right now he's still bleeding. And so that's what I heard. You know five hours into the trip Houston so. Right now Galazi scan the they showed His brain was continuing to Blade Shimano they had administered. If some type of salt solution at like stops the bleeding, but for some reason his continued to bleed, but by the time I got there. It had stopped. Leading already had like another sequel in so mental state from me. Was I was at a show. You know funnel cakes, Ferris wheels, and and in so I'm on a metal table backstage so I'm thinking. I go into prayer mode immediately lack. You're still all here. Yeah very much so and the pain is so much. It's like on a scale from one dance I thou- if. Those horrible out pass out, wake up, throw asset up though in, but passing out with dislike Alan member. Tell myself like keep breathing. As you're breathing. You're alive. Keep fat and keep when get Alex here in Can Stone tour manager. To, please. Get some kind of relief I was begging for relief in wouldn't give me any pain medication because they wanna make coherent because they wanted to make sure that that. They just WANNA make go here. They kept on asking me my name birthday where I was at. Move My left side can I do this can. Can do that in. So they didn't want to administer something that would put me in La La land in not Romney to be coherent so the pain. In The pain was just so severe in our just. I was just getting like in and out of this kind of spiritual journey on his lock floating in just. Begging for relief in and then just thinking hey. got. You got me what whatever whatever's going to happen. Is GonNa Happen told my band depression ever boone his my drummer. WHO's very spiritual? Warrior Dude. Now's man. Star praying on. A lot of pain in. You know that that was it in. I was like where's Alex? In Alex wasn't there Mamata nobody was there except for my ban family. Which is your family? Out there, but I just remember thinking. that. If I can just if I can continue Britain and get Alex here I'll be, I'll be fine. You know if yet. Dr Miracle Obviously in. You know I didn't know that was trauma unit added no, I was in. I could have been you know in the middle of the sticks. It. The we were we weren't. We were in a a very good hospital and I just remember a lot of people gathered around may end. Now looking back. The the heads of the hospital coming back, check because it was such. A serious thing is what. I felt like I was in a fraternity house because there was so many people come antion Cambe. Coming in, he kept asking me he's like. Why are these young guys here? On Knicks at Teaching Hospital residents were there. And so he had I mean just hundreds of. People probably probably saw no less than one hundred doctors nurses in in staff, where whether it was like the physical therapists, occupational therapists speech therapist in the week that you that he stayed in roanoke. Wow! Were there for he was there for a week. Before we got transferred to Nashville in also this in the middle of all this, it really restored our. You know I've always been. She's always been A. Lot people out always been a glass half full dude, but this truly restored our thanking humanity. They were good people we met. We have good people around us debt that we're all angels. In because we had to for the. You know decisions. People making some really really quick smart decisions to stop that. Brian Blade stop that pain in the to get back to where you know. I was paralyzed for the rest of my life or dead, you know. Big Deal Alex when you get there. What is the situation like what is what is happening? His I guess are probably two in the morning and his tour manager. was calling me in met down at the bottom of the hospital, and he took me to the room in when I got in there. All I could hear were these MOANS and groans screaming sounds coming from director at never heard before. I mean we've been together. Twelve years. Now seen him choke up. Why so Elec I've never seen him in pain. You know anything like that. And so instantly address. On my hands, pray in next to him. in his suite were manager Andrew stayed until you know. He felt like I was comfortable. Reading there myself in. a red flag back to Nashville. I remember just I didn't have any clothes didn't have any toiletries anything and I just remember like the next forty eight hours literally sitting at his bedside in this. Will require like hands on him praying. In and our prayer all day even. I I, just constantly pray that the Lord would would protect him. Keep in healthy. Keep him safe when he would go into like moans and groans. It was like the pain came in Wade's with the medication they were were allowing in hat, so just praying that God would take the pain away like give him some type of comfort. Given piece on helium attitude, visual person, especially when agreeing, I just can't visualizing the Holy Spirit kind of just like covering drake spotty in covering the brain in the area that had ruptured in just healing, come into that place, visualizing the ABM shrinking in Him Ridge, area being held in shrunk in size, and kept praying that godwit place in Angel of Army, at Army of angels around him in kind of circle him in protection. In January rape gone on a mission trip to Haiti and the leader had asked that we go to every fence posts in pray that God would put an angel on guard every fenceposts to protect the land that the children were now living on in so that was something that always stuck with me. to be able to ask Guy Descend Angel on your behalf to protect you. And so that was you know Mamane? Prayer to just have been opened my eyes in having a hand on Drake asking God more Put an angel in this corner Lord Angel in this corner of the rain to protect the nurses in to be with help to know how to help. Drake in the situation in every corner was like a monitor and all the instruments equipment they were having a using. Workman and Angel this store the doctors come in give them the wisdom and knowledge on how to how to serve drinking hit and helped him in this situation. And in this corner to watch over me is I'm trying to rest in I mean. Even. Know if it was dinner. You know at by the time his parents got there. They were like. Hey, here's your dinner. You need to eat, you know. we can take. We continue to be in this state of prayer. His parents came. I, mean they? They realized in our realized the severity of it, and they were there within forty eight hours. And from that moment own as as long they would let us be in the room Madrid We were crying. We were just praying over him in with him as a family. In France! I really good friends came in. Ended the same thing in? You know brought me a suitcase. Came to the House and found something that I could wear. They wrote me some pajamas and closing and things like that, but. then. The cool thing about the story, didn't you wake up and say something about that? You have to tell the second part of that. Yeah, it was Kinda. Let now run with it, but. First of all. I will say that to everybody out there I, mean we we. We're spiritual. People are driven by. You know we love Jesus. We were. All in and but When you get phased with something like this, no matter you know. Where you're at. Faith wiles away. You're like you claim to something you have to do you just. Do our. Did you know I had to? Figure out. You know you find out real quick. How strong faith is how strong? Strong you are and. I just remember. Laying there in in fight like always considered myself a tough person like bringing on you know, let's let's go for it. So I was just kind of mode, and then our experienced this kind of peace. And looking back on its when Alex got their. Remember this real. Fast talking you know Dior. Please put the angels around that the come come. In I couldn't understand, but it almost was tongues, but it wasn't like Tom. Fox speaking tons, but it was just flat. I'll maybe who knows what it was. But our member Like I said a lot of people a lot of younger people if felt like I was in a fraternity house, but I remember this presence that this piece Kinda lifting. Thinking that everything was going to be fine. and. It was Alex there. You know praying gone over I new that sound of voice new Abbas. Abbas not brain I was not brain dead Akkad Coherent, but I was Kinda added of. You know what I mean. Wasn't completely blank there, but I wasn't completely gone and I just remember. Seeing these tall. Very Very. Nostalgic. Like statues of man lacked with their arms, crossed in the corners of the room with baby, peaceful lack small snot smiles, but just kind of shaking their head like looking, and that was. The Angel says she prayed for I get. Sears my I I cannot. I can't believe it, but like to hear these this story. That is so incredible that you learn saw them. He didn't tell me that until we we you know. He did thirty days at at Centennial. Skylon in Nashville in the Rehab Center so. We get home in probably two or three weeks later. You know a month and a half later. When we were at the hospital out ever told you this. We were watching something We watched him church on Sunday, and she was talking about being in Huron Room Jesus and she was like. How is this are thin veil that sometimes we forget that were that close to the Throne Room Jesus where we can actually approach him in sit at his feet back quickly in actual drake has said you know I feel like that hospital room was like the throne room because I had no other distractions in life other than praying and asking God. God to be with us in essence, the Holy Spirit to protect us with us in. He said you know I felt this presence of these like huge men in the corner that gave me peace. They were protectors in the room and I had cold chills all over because I mean we never talked about the prayers that I've prayed? You know or anything like that house like ask specifically prayed for there to be men I mean visualizing them as well as these men, these huge angels standing in the choir, protecting you so just one of the things but. He also How. You're talking about Carolina Story. where he stood up and said I hear you got. So at at the second night that we were there I was praying and fell asleep actually when he woke up. I was asleep on like on this out of the bed. In. he had not spoken had not said a word had not moved any part of his body. He was just in so much pain. Other than like moans and groans, and when they would ask him his name, he could barely even say like. Drake he was just like a whisper and so he, all of the sudden monitors went from just like the the regular beep beep beep to did it in his blood pressure shot up really quick, and he stood up in he he shot his arm up in the air and he's like I hear you. I. Hear You screaming in the in the Are Here to God I. Hear You're GonNA GET UP WE'RE GONNA walk. I'M GONNA DANCE IN I was like you hear God. Where is where is he in the room with us, And he drake stat completely up in through entire body less side in all that was at this town, completely paralyzed over onto the side of the bed, sitting straight out. And the nurse comes running in there and she was like what's going on. I was like I don't know what he said. He's talking to God by God's in the room. and. She was like you're gonNA have to sit back down your. You can't get your blood pressure. Decide can't raise your heart rate I. Kinda monitor it. Make sure every she had to of like talk him off of that Ledge of standing up and walking dancing. Right I mean and Wild. Liz, up kid. I've always been drawn to nature in I've always felt like I had this. Ability to talk. You know to ga like to talk to. Really, Communicate! Almost like. I won't say it's not like dude standing there. That looks like a Gal Troy. Like that's not on talking about the statues it's like. Believing in saint like it was there, it was there because I know it was there in I have faith that it was there, but it was like it was like a smog. So thick risk. Race that was talking to you. And what did you hear well this? When the essence that she's talking about that, I was dreaming. And that's why I was going to like. My dreams have always been so vivid. That's why I've always been so passionate about my dreams, wetherby music or marriage or kids like I. I know exactly. What what's going to happen like I believe him Andre an-and. That sounds. Cliche but like I believe him because I've seen you know. I've seen what they what I'm such a dreamer. So what was happening is I was in church at. Our church had blue carpet lot baby blue carpet like this guy in the pews. Were Baby Blue and Yet House. In in there. I've always been like when like the preacher calls you down as like. If you WANNA. Come except you know. Jesus or whatever come down I've always kind of you know I went through. When I was a kid like too cool for school. Yeah, come down light, or whatever well I was in that situation, but I was talking this thrown luck in the them in the real deal throne room, lackner middle Jesus saying come come down in. It I don't think I was about to die I just think it was like A. It was just like this in and out a dream in Asia come on in a hesitated. In when I hesitated. Our remember feeling guilty like wanted. What am I hesitate like Peter when Peter. Denied God. You know in scripture when he did not in three times and I just remember thinking. NOPE, at can't walk and I remember thinking in my head to to God I can't, but I can't walk and he's, but I'm calling. In House Lot rhyme getting. I'm getting the hell up rot now in his Nazar vested in. The told him drake. You'RE GONNA have to sit down and she goes guide. He said God told me to get up and walk I'm getting. And he grabbed all dead. And know all things he was connected to in threw himself off the bed. Now's like like. Don't touch him. Don't touch him. God said to do. He's got get. Well. It's really we didn't get. She fell back down to the best. She didn't say anything she talks about. She's talking about the throne the Vail. Thinks this esoteric crazy lack. Thing, that is this facial separate thing, but we through this experience in Alex having this connection meet disappearances broad us to wear a weekend. I feel like we could wake literally lots of candles lots of chopper go straight there right now if we if you know in in, that's how cold it it is to walk. Through journey in I. Don't I don't WanNa live in this world. Anyway back outlive. We're in this world, but I. don't want to be normal. I and I never have thought. I've always thought that I was destined for something. Great in, so so she. Is Lack. This this veil. That I, guess I'm talking to the people out there that think that debt religion or this. This is just some kind of. who do stuff like it's rob, they're all you have to do is be so broke like you don't have to be broken, but we were. We had nothing else by left Saab was parallelist. I was desperate. I was crying out. She was crying out in that moment. It was wrapped there one of our faith and he was on. What's up? How can I help you? have. You ever had that dream where you're trying to take your business organization remote, and it's super confusing, so you just decide to listen to a relaxing podcast instead, but then when you're listening to that podcast here, Vodka John for their team or remote experts who can solve all your communication problems. You know that we're dream where you talk to an expert at Vaughn age once they just magically put a plan together, so your entire work can easily work from anywhere, and then on top of providing their simple cloud solutions, unified communications and contact centers with full salesforce integration. 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F. O. L. Dot. COM Promo Code get real for Harris strong as you are. The Wendy you guys took the situation though. And made it a blessing on your because you've got into it and you. Cried for God so much. That is the difference because I feel like that is what has made. This the experience that I can shift y'all's live now in a beautiful way, it's become a huge blessing in your life, but it's because you you called on God. And that was a you know some you're talking about all the miracles that we've seen through this. It doesn't those are just two little things that happened that we're like. Oh, goddess, like so fateful, and we were able to tangibly see him in those moments, but since this accident, it's like it's heighten our awareness to him in how present he is in our in our daily last group, and so that's something that I mean. We say something now. We got a piece of mail and. Some of Kobe in because of his stroke and everything that's gone on in just you know your income basically cut in half. Things have happened where we have been obedient in our just in our giving, God said to continue to give in a certain things that we were doing within our church, just personally giving an like okay God we're going to. Be Obedient and trust that you've got this in open the mail and it's just. Blessing after blessing after blessing where he continues to show himself in a tangible way to us that I'll be like. Can you believe you know La La? In Drake's like Yeah, I can't kiss attract nothing. Nothing surprise anymore. It's not. Is like we asked for were allowed. And whether it be the relief for the Tornado stuff, Alex in you, and all these people on the front lines for that. Though in the tornadoes hit Nashville Alex. you went into the heart of it and found people who were the most damaged by tornadoes in you singlehandedly rallied up troop of women with able Tomlin. WHO's an amazing woman in so many other? Great Chris. Respite, you use her ended this rally to get resources for all these families that. Tell me what you did that were that had lost. Everything like you change lives. It was another one of those God. Things of like being in the right place at the right time because I get a phone call that morning actually. We Drake had to have an NGO Graham to Kinda. See you where we were at with the ABM and the Sunday before our pastors had gone on a mission trip, and she said you know we went down and we were. In the city and she said when our as have seen, we are now responsible for so now it's our responsibility. That's the heavy. Net revenue near what you're seeing you. You become responsible for like God puts it in your. Face for a reason and so She was specifically talking about which she had seen on her mission trip, but it hit me so hard because we had been to Haiti out. We've gotTA. Do you know like we were responsible for what we seems to continue our mission work in Haiti well the very next morning. We are taking him to an eight a M Angiogram Euro Sergeants at the national neurology in so our math loan takes us live in whites creek in. It takes us back route through wardell through north, Nashville, which was one of the hardest hit areas from the tornado and we had. Tornadoes the night before the tornado hit while we're in North Nashville at seven thirty that morning. And seventeen and we're like what in the world because we had not seen what was going on on the news I. Mean it was rotary? It looks like the streets of Haiti and so I mean just rubble everywhere. People in a panic and it took us two hours two hours to get wet normally would take us twelve minutes. And so we both were like God wants us. We were stuck in a parking lot for our bread. The two hours in all we could see was the destruction in the chaos in we began to pray for the people that we were seeing in all the situation around as I was like how I was like. On the day that you have this Angiogram, discard when us to see what's right here right now. Okay so then I think it was like Wednesday. I receive a call at eight. Am from Christian breast and she said Hey sister. Where are you? Can you help me with like a situation right now? I have a friend. Her friend Heather in Carissa had put on facebook that they knew some families that needed hotel room. Everything had been destroyed and they did not have any support. No, they did not have renter's insurance or homeowner's insurance in were basically stranded in homeless, and I was like. Yeah, it was a down day for me in the kitchen and I was sitting at the computer, just working on invoices, and I said Yeah. Sure what you need, he. Tell me what to do. She said okay. Is there any way we can Get some money pulled to you so that you can facilitate as families getting put in a hotel room as Gavin most setup through my business account, they can did Mommy. That's cool, so then it spiraled, and we went to check on the one family, and then we went down to where the one family was. It was like a domino effect, and this family knew this family in across. This was going on with another family with children so when it was all, said dying out So God uses she. She used to teach kindergarten elementary school, so she can speak to kids very very easily, so alex can walk into a place. A Tornado stricken, place. And she finds kids. And says where's your mom? And then that's how that's. How this started like we was your mom, our friend yeah, Charissa Dylan. They have a van in so She was like. Let's just go down. There were heather is in check on the family will take this applause and we got out and reached started walking down North National. There's no street lights like generators have been of gas. It is you know in all se are here. Here are little giggles, so we get out of the van in a there's kids over here. You know like playing near these power lines down, so we go over there and said Hey, guys. I mean under the age of four kids under the Age Bay. Where's your mom? So? He talked to the mom in as you guys need hotel tonight, you don't have any power in your generators. Not Working. It was freezing. Nights were freezing. Is What March? Yeah, so? It was really chilly ENA. She's sorry crying and she was like. Yeah, let me go pack a bag and we're going so as do know anyone else. We've got some extra funds because at this point. More and more money hazard tripping just word of mouth, and then I thought you know what I don't care. I'm less than this out on instagram. And Drake blasted out on his instagram in instantly between word of mouth conversations. Everyone you guys you share on yours like. Within. Ami Twenty. Four hours we had like thirty thousand dollars raised route hotels in every single person. We never talk to families that are like the hotel is full tonight in all the other hotels are full. You know We don't have anywhere tonight, but check back tomorrow in, so we never really had to tell namely that they couldn't have a place to stay so some family stay for seven days. Something I would say oh. My Gosh I. Don't know if we have enough money like Lord how we're GonNa do this, and then someone would be more thousand dollars. And so I don't know just then he's. Apartments for a lot of families, yes, so then just guy connected the dots and April Tomlin calls me and she said Hey. I work with a lot of families with home straight home ministries a homeless off the street the maintenance history. In they're so used to this. You know routine of getting family setup in in kind of helping families get set up for success. You know for years to come so that in job training in. Helping them with job interviews than just support with getting a job allowed these families. You know lost jobs. Because of the time they had to take off from in of course Kobe it and so they were able to secure like a year reese in pay for the year lease on their apartment or condo furnish their entire house from donations I. Mean it's amazing. So I sit here and I hear these stories that you guys tell I feel like. How how I feel so. I WANNA do more my life because I see you guys now Mike. How do I get to this level faith that y'all have and I'm sure a lot of listener like how do I get to this level where I am so actively connected with God where he is? Guiding each an I. Know it and I have enough bravery to trust like. How do you do that? Because the work are doing in the situations that Yong counter, and that you turn into God, experience, it's really the nominal. No well. Thank you appreciate you saying that. One of the things you know for me. Personally is as. I talked to the Holy Spirit Anna. Ask Holy Spirit to lead me and guide me in everything I saying do, and so that's my daily. Prayer. Mike, Holy Spirit lead me and guide me in everything saying do and specifically say how can how can I serve in this in this moment? Or how can we use me? And then if you are intuitive, you realize he is using. Using you you know in like your platform was a huge part of now i. mean it would be you know caroline. Hobby mentioned you in her story. And then thousands of dollars with flood into my been now so even if you you think you're not doing something that was huge. You know in connections. It would create a through through social media and that's the way I feel like. Drake and really. Four months ago on a mission trip somewhere so started cranley guide you know, how can you? How can you help? How can we serve on a mission trip and then little tidbit conversation? I'm like you. Guys are on a mission trip breaking out in love to go on a mission trip in just God connected. The DOTS is just trusting that. Little things like that in trusting your intuition which our says. The. Holy Spirit with any trusting that end just saying yes, through a couple of little things, and then realizing that you can say yes. The big things, too because those are from the Lord you. So, yeah. You guys are such an example I. I definitely not perfectly. Don't do these things correctly or perfect or You the example is you, do them you just get your hands and knees. You pray the prayers in you. Ask believe you, and then you do the slut work and you say that Alex. you want to be the hands and feet, and you guys like here, Drake, you're almost dying. You're having A. Such scary thing happened in your life, and you guys are turning it all over to God. I mean that's your instincts. That's where you go, and that is. That is so what we all need to do. Yeah. I'll put it in on the so layman terms in this May. This may crash and burn this analogy is. But. Like I, said I've always loved nature. woods end in life when you're making decisions. Like if you're fishing and you, you look at a place near light off at there's official there. Will that it. That's a that's a a skit. Let's like. For me. It's like God. The God the fishing got the insight guide going though that lure over there their. Trust, your instincts like go for the note like when you're saying to a crowd in. There's little girl in the front in in. Saying to her go for that now are are go go down that path. It's a little bit. so the wind blows a certain way I'm going fishing here. The wind blows. A certain way is slapped. Oh! Could that be got talking in saying through delayed windblown. If you think that. Like I've learned. Follow that like follow the way the wind blows follow that little voice inside your head. That says hey, that guy on the street. You know, maybe if you don't have a dollar, five dollars just wave at our this. Follow that little thing that says hanging Najib's yeah, don't go down that Donda don't Don't go down that road or don't go to that party or go to that party or go shake that guy's Hanner. Shake that girl Santer asked. Go to dance. Girl Date I. Don't outline. It's like what Michael says to. We always say. If it's not a a hell yet are. The Hell No. Part employees trusting. You're set in your intuition, and that's the way we have kind of. We've kind of chosen to live that way. Where like if if we do not feel like God said you got to do this, or you've asked to go there or you know we're not going to do it. And does that feeling? Just feel like peace like when you know it's a hell. Yes, does it feel peaceful? Feel right to things like fall into place, even if it's a lot of work and it's hard work, it still feels like the right work like you don't feel resistance towards it. Is that how that feels? Because that's how I've started trying to tune into. It feels peaceful. I don't feel like. I'm totally down to do all the work, but you know there's a difference between working hard and then working against a force that you feel like you're knocking your head against, and it's not the right way to go. Is that what it feels like to you guys are. How do you know Hell yes? I Love I love that like the airstream is. Is there a stream analogy like get when you fly with the airstream? When you get the thirty thousand foot airstream and you're flying with it. You know your may be two or three hour shorter. Depending on how far the trip is lack the Holy Spirit for us. Is The airstream like in when you get up Bennett in you? Start Trusting in any start serving. at a level that this slack putting others before yourself every single time that you get a chance in in its. Alex's way better at it than I am. But I try to. If if giving the short like how can. How can every day go out and do something? Because we're meant for greatness, are no AR. I can feel it, so so just direct me. Show me where to throw the lewer now show me show me where to. To work in work diligently, and then you know, it's fallen that that that happiness in that bliss in knowing. Something as crazy as a stroke like I know for a fact I would do it again right now now. I don't want to, but totally do it again because it's made May. This made the plot Dick in. Deeper than a bathtub and the music going to be better, our family's going to better or kids are going to be. Our friends are going to be better, and you know it's just it's worse at you. Know struggle as a piece of the puzzle. That wow drink. How have you coped with your recovery 'cause? You. Have exceeded all your doctor's expectations like you're like feeling your left arm and hand way before you were supposed to thought you would like. You're reaching all these goals sooner than anyone thought, but still you were having to relearn how to walk. How do you use your body again? How did you have how how was that process for you? Going through all that, and how did you keep more a? It was really hard I mean. Said I've always been pretty hard hard nose in a hard worker. I couldn't have done it with that debt Alex End. That I know everybody says I couldn't do that. My wife, but like literally somebody that went out. Get Week. Outs will be like note you. It's getting better. You can't say, but it's like watching. trae grow life, nerve damage. And it, repairing in inhaling is lap is slow as a tree grown so. When I was now or when I was weak Alex with would pick me up. And then when when she would be like man I'm I'm. Fail right here. One day in slammed my head against this this. IS A. Table and she she lost, and I Akin I cannot do this I cannot do this like have kids I wanNA She didn't say this, but like she wants to have kids. She won't step success business I was on my way to you know. ACM see him as what grammy's you know, but. Data was when I said Hey. We're okay we're fine just. I'm actually excited because. Why would God bring us through this if he didn't have? Just magnificent things on the other side. What a way to look at it! And Alex. How is that for you? Though because he urged dray your sue? Healthy Strong, and now you're. You're seeing him. have to rebuild in. You know learn things that are me. I'm sure it's hard to watch the spouse, but yet you have this fade. Like how how how do you navigate? I mean I've had two days and bad days drew saying, but definitely more good than bad home. It's just you know. I know that I mean drake was he did everything he? You know around the house like all the outdoor landscaping. You know anything to do with the outside house inside the house. You Miss Mr fix it things like that, so you now that has kind of like come on democracy a little bit, so that's when things have gotten a little challenging hard for me to realize. Oh Yeah, you know he can't do that anymore. GonNa sure that I somehow figured out or take care of that, and so just navigating, figuring those kind of things out has been the hardest part for me, but other than that. He's the most optimistic person that. I've never known anyone more optimistic than you drake you. Are Your rebel. He really is in. He can always lower the end of the tunnel, and so just knowing bat has made me even more so optimistic in so I. Whenever you know I have does moments where my crush I cannot believe that my husband. Even your mother graphic used to or something that he enjoys so much. Go down there cast to. Fishing Rod or whatever in is just one of those things where I continue to refer back to? Lord in how gracious he has been with US integrase numeracy that we've received. A crowd thinking about this, but just seeing how quickly he is healed because of our we, we've kept the FE. He is never stopped physical therapy occupational therapy through Kobe. Through any of this I mean he's turned up stairs into a physical therapy room. You know minute site. All kinds of equipment in so he sitting here on the couch with Bat. Therapy Petty Amanda would be proud amandas. Occupational therapist was with US along the way. Skylon in, so you know he's sitting here. Given this in. It's coming back and just to see it. Come back, and now he's moving all the fingers. He's raising his arm and shoulder so visually saying things for me has been such an encouragement, and just knowing how faithful guys been us through this in. Just kind of like woven our marriage even closer together because a lot of people have said things like Harry. How do you deal with it now? You know a Lotta. People would have thrown in the towel or a lot of people wouldn't be able to deal with this hurdle through some therapy sessions. We've heard of a lot of families that are that are separated in struggling because of. You know bring traumatic brain injuries because it does you know change the person. For it for a period of time in, so it's just one of those things where we have to keep the fate in just you know that it was going to get better. In God, was doing something in us through us through the whole time in check check this out. Though how cool is it a slight? So I go down! Alex has to has to saddle up in just be a boss, which she was a boss before, but shed to get the the the bomb ready should complete it. She had to get all of our kitchen, so she knows that kitchen inside now. She knows the the wattage. The amperage coming into the kitchen. Let she knows. Walk as a business called milk and honey. That's a food catering service in also yells barn. White would hollow. You offer all the food services for the event space. You make incredible food and you deliver it to people national. It's incredible. Service in the food is so healthy in amazing. Yeah just a little side. So! It pushed her. It forced her to like get in in just. Even more to real. It forced her to innovate enforced. Mehta innovate wins. NAP therapies to to try to figure out how and if if code what happened? I'm kinda sidestepping, but if covered wouldn't have happened. had sixteen seventeen weeks to set here. Jam Play with my band. Who would have been probably a subbed out anyway because they got to go find work because I wasn't working. Now. Now from the comfortable home, Alex is making its forced her into these other innovative ideas me into innovations of merch in song ideas that would've never explored by what have been you know Oma back for a no six eight months and this space sitting right there that you do your Wednesday, Wednesday live therapies from your music session, aunt You probably wouldn't have been able. Able to on the road this year. Anyway. Distin recovery so now I actually playing music every week. which once again here you guys are finding the blessing and all of the things you're out, incur if people in the middle of of a hurricane to observe in the middle of Struggler, hard times I just stop for a second and observed in. Have the thought just think. What could? God Not Maker the universe. Be Trying to tell me right now through this. What could what good could be happening through you know? ON ADDICTION ARE A. Habit or A relationship bust, you know what could be happening. You know that is on the other side of this that we can look at in thirty years in Ango all that. Hustle piece bits amazing. In that blueprint. Is Amazing in and we Yeah, it's like I I challenge. People do that every day. It because nothing happens. Without. On accident nothing. I don't. I. Guess, that takes a lot of fakes. It takes a lot of faith to feel that way like drake. What have you? What you What would you say about your experience? Or what have you? What is what is? What is your experience of what you've learned by going through this by your brain injury in recovering and having to relearn all this stuff, physical things again and all? What? What is your perspective that you've gained? Man. Alicia had this. Crazy live Ted! Talk about it. All really learn. At a time, but it's really. All in your mind. It's all in your in between your ears. If you can caulker that that. Ten billion. Thing in your thoughts are not your thoughts or ten thousand years old. Everybody has hey mom Melinda of opportunities passing. I'm getting older, you know. Are we going to have kids? Everybody has those thoughts. Everybody has those thoughts so like it's okay to have him. Excuse him, say hey, thank you for protecting me thoughts. I appreciate your ten thousand year old thoughts here in. Thank you for protect me in. Help a male but. KISS MY ASS! I'm going I'm going to this side in and I'm gonNA. Get there and it's taught me to observe. In just to be grateful. Gratitude defeat in devait anything in if you get up in the morning. In battle battle. You're you're winning? You know, get up and battle and and and put people around you that they believe the same thing. In In Win, you know go out to in win Try to win every day in in. You're not going to I. Don't know if I don't think I'm. Crashing. He always says when you when you asked that question, the first thing I thought of something that he always says he doesn't even really realize says it is when people would ask you know like Oh. Man. I'm so sorry you went through. That must be so hard must be you. Guys must be struggling. He must be going through. The first thing that you would say you know in this situation Allen I have chosen to be vitual or not. The victim and we choose to be victorious over this situation, and what the enemy meant for evil we will overcome and be victorious in so that was something that he said from the beginning like. You know if we even like with family, it can become an issue to 'cause. Your family can is around you the most and sometimes you're like Oh. Yeah you know yeah. Why are we going to Johnson? You know? Yeah, it is hard. You know you can get any salt in your head. And really focus on the truth of the situation. We are victorious situation and what what God has worked. Rush next is what we need to focus on. Not your current struggle. Because what's ahead is better so go go figure out. Absolutely. Go figure out. Go take a class. Go learn how to cook something go. On a trip go read a book. Go live. Home. I'm not preaching at at Creech like avenue at all day long because it's it's, there's two. There's the bad is always there. With. The goods always shot it. The good is a lot more fun and people around you. People want to be be around that energy and we're all energy that blankets energy you know. This dog is energy, and if we put good energy out there, you know it's GonNa. Come back, you know, Anna I'm no. We've been talking about a lot about. Fatan in God in our our faith, journey driven like we have dove so foreign into scripture in into the stuff in. Our maker is so powerful, and our God is so great that. It? Even if this is just. The the reason for going through the stroke, and all this stuff is just to get me an Alex closer because of the next thing the way after face, Bennett's work than it It's exactly what was supposed to happen and if you live like that. Just go just go read just go figure it out. Go Go, go get around people that are positive, but Dadgum it I'm not going to be negative. You gotta get up on it up in in rocket every day. I'm tiny I feel like I am in church right now. This is so right now. Because of you guys in your perspective, I would love to ask you this because. I struggle with feeling. I have a tendency to feel sad when I see things that. Alex, you said you're when you see something. You are now responsible or not never not seeing that again so. Social Media and all the things going on the world, and Cova it's so many people losing their jobs, and you know families falling apart and like the Tornado, and all the broken broken this happening and you know with. The march for equal rights in all that like they're so much. That needs change. Injustices, that need to be. Rights. Wrongs that need to be righted and all this stuff up I just start feeling super overwhelmed because I can feel all of the the heaviness of the sadness, and all the things that are wrong in the world and it. Weighs we down so much that I? I can get like sort of depressed about it. which is totally unaffected like that's not effective at all, because I'm not actually doing anything with that feeling I'm just feeling sad about it, so how do You guys were going to specifically talk to me and anyone else. Who's listening new maybe does swell. How do you stay proactive with your faith? When all of this sadness is going on in the world that you know about that, you know you can't get to all of and it's not one person's job to save the world. You know one of us are Jesus we can only do the best we can. What is your advice to not feel the weight of the world and all the sadness? Still figure out how to. Be Victorious in half faith in choose the good while knowing that is there like? How do you do that because I struggle? Look at me right now. Well first of all. Carolina. Praying Hey dot a watched. This are like I said at whatever it is, that is your. Your universe your power. Please help me I saw this on the news day. Help me with the help me with the the racial problem in this world today. Please help our leaders. Please help our you know. Our my thoughts exactly with sunny as as on rating her. This pressure that I feel that maybe I can't be good enough for this pressure. I'm just making stuff up this pressure. You know. Maybe I can't I can't do anything with the tornado victims or you know. The the covid situation are the political. Because, most of that stuff is out there. You can't control that stuff and I'm not saying. Don't go out there and. Help the tornado victims think we PRUT. I'm saying for us. This TV has not been on. It's been very little I. Don't watch the I don't watch the news were I get money I I do read and get the news from different spaces, but I do not stick in glue myself to the TV in in. Let the burdens be on my shoulder. At the start of my day, lack will get some some stuff. We'll get to me, but I think it starting with. Praying destroyed up I would wake up at like two thirty in the morning. Sometimes be lapped. Man I've lost my record deal. I can't semi left side. I can't feel this, and then I would go. Lord. Get in my hand right now. In put peace in sodomy. Help me go back to sleep. Help the you the help this racial injustice going on help this no help this broken world as Kobe stricken, pandemic, crazy world i. don't understand what's going on in this left-wing right-wing thing, but you do in you. Take it off. Take the burden off of me now, please. How do it now in in lack out? All got say it works. It works for me. It works for her. And it's not this is not this. The Duck, ish. Does, no good what I'm realizing is it does no good to sit under the burden of the world. Just feel sad. What does do good? Is You guys do in take action steps in your life where you feel called where you can help where your life can impact how you can make a difference specifically in your world. That's what makes the difference and if everyone follows the nudges in the God. Whispers and the feelings and like you're saying drake like where to throw your hook like following that instinct of where you can make your own impact. I feel like that is the way to do it. I struggle with still feeling so sad for the state of the world though I love that advice dislike. God Guide me. Tell me where I'm supposed to. To go like in new set Alex every morning like pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you and then I have to pray I'm Gonna I'm GonNa take your advice I have to pray for God to take this burden from me now because it's not mine to carry can't carry it, and it makes me an effective and everything else trying to do. Your positive influence, because if you're feeling sad on almost missing Julian Mile light because I'm just feeling sad. Everything making up in my head and I don't even know how it's playing out because it's too big for me to comprehend the whole thing that makes. One of the things that I love to do, and you had coffee share this, but is journaling in the morning during renovation town, and just found in a quiet time in the morning. Sometimes it's probably in the evening you sending us to sleep. You know just finding a quiet town. Actually sit in meditate and reflect on what God wants you to do in these times in this moment, because you know from what you're saying it. It reminds me of this friend of ours I wanted to read the says improvisers, so it makes me feel like you empathize with what's going on in the world. You take all hair. Yeah, and she says improvisers typically are really good at listening you are we listen to the hurting within their sadness, and we don't always have the perfect say, but our lack of words is made up giving your heart in sitting with you in your grief. she says here's the other thing. Empathy is not apathy. Empathy refers to the capacity to recognize understanding experience, the thoughts and feelings of another person apathy refers to the lack of concern or emotion. So you're empathetic, answer, you are taking that action of. Feeling everything else. That's going on in the world, but you're such. A good listener is just something that you know. We're trying to continue to do to to sit and actually listen to what God wants us to do in these towns in the. Know. Like with Drake with his music on Wednesday, not therapy he. He felt like God wanted him to talk about it on Wednesday night when he had platform. In God gave him that platform of the Wednesay not therapy where people are going to view this days after on Youtube channel in so. He can say you know we need to be praying in an. We. We need to be hands of Jesus in Scott how you can serve others in this town in wait for onerous lot. and. That's the hard part is waiting for God. Respond in its that intuition when the Holy Spirit Li Jian says I need you to go. Do this or or you should go do this or that so Manella journaling about it, too, because you can change, really say when God said something to you, and you can go back and rank the date next to it when gratitude journal Alex. Your Journal, to write it down and I love that and I need legit with that. I know I know because we were sharing a struggle that you know we. The struggle of. Entering into parenthood, it's journey, everyone and I I need to be more diligent with. That because I think you're right I needed to do some gratitude physical writing down gratitude steps be like okay. I'm praying for this I'm concerned. This is the my heart, and then you can go back and see how God answers it I think that's amazing. How do you deal with? Feeling the way to the world like the pain of the world. In sought soft, hearted person, anyways so Mike. Drake were saying like we keep TV off. Because I truly at truly empathize with what's going on in minutes starts to affect my daily loss in realize matt in tune with that, so choose not to look those things but I. I. Really. Kind of reflect in the mornings on what what is needed in what God needs me to do I have such a servant's heart. anyways, it's just that's what my name means. It means like how we're of mankind in so even as a little girl and knew that I was meant to help others in so I just always in the situations like award. How can I help any situations and I love to? Listen to podcasts in read books, and we right now read not awesome book called the opposite. The opposite way that are pastor wrote and just looking at things from an opposite perspective of what the world looks at it so like when the world says Mundane. What does the Bible say and Kinda going in the opposite direction with the world world says like not the flesh flesh Lee way so I don't know I'm just a constant I love to continue education in rating one. So I'm gathering from this. What you guys said steps that I'm GonNa, take. Follow the nudge on your heart. You everything as a blessing that God led you here because he didn't you here to leave you. He led you here to be victorious into turn this into blessing your life, even if it's so hard and so painful, and you don't know where it's going, or why are you going through it? You're still going to be the victor. Fear will not win. Follow the edge of your heart. Follow the lure that you cast the where you feel you. Throw your fish the line to catch the fish and let God guide you. And wake up Astra Spirit to guide you and then shut off the noise in. Do the best. You can to wear your being led. Grateful A myth I mean I feel like that's what I'm picking up from. You guys and I'm like okay. How am I GONNA? Put what they said into action. Steps for me. 'cause I need this. I need this in my life. and. Don't don't feel overwhelmed I. Get overwhelmed a bit because I'm like I. Need to do my gratitude journal is adding to do mouth. Cough any up here and my Peleton need. To there. You can get into into that late in that starts away down so like like I needed to this. I needed that. I need to do this I need to. Making a diligent thing of of black after like. We've done. We've done better light I've tried to do better lately. A black being done at a certain point like it's okay to watch two episodes of. Your favorite thing don't feel guilt like our feel guilty because I wasn't waking hour but my creativity. Has Actually went through the roof in the last three or four weeks because. There's no pressure on. Because everybody's on the same plane bill right now. You know what I mean. You. Don't have to go out there and be so competitive. There's no comparison. There's no there is not any of that. Stuff should not get weighed down by just just start small light. Rattan things down your grave before first thing in the morning. We appreciate our force the square journal. Added about several years ago in that was the main thing etchegarray from it. She said before your feet hit the floor in the morning. So before you hit the floor in before the enemy has any chance to take your day. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you to guide you in everything you say and do throughout your day and so therefore only God has authority over your life for the remainder of your. Wow you asked him into that moment? So that's just. What did you say again every day? Holy Spirit read me in God me in everything. Say In do today. Were lead me and guide me in everything I say do today. Oh I'M GONNA. Write down revenue. Put that on. My Mirror is what? I see that every single day and I'm like Nope, not going down this rabbit hole of emotional sadness of the world I am trusting God is leading guiding me and that everyone else has access in that. We're all GONNA try to plug in I'm just even trying to plug in and do my part because this world is like your scientific, it's bad in. It's good and I have to start making that conscious choice to like be in only the good feelings because the bad feelings can just wear you down. And, they're always there. We're not I mean some Clarify that. We truly do realize that there is bad in the world. Around us, but it's always trying to find the silver lining in those moments. Even we're like you know if we do see something on television or news articles on our. Anything know in. Just witnessing. You know what does God want us to know in reveal in this moment in, how can we help? How can we? How can he use us for what's going on and then seeing the good in that? You know that we are historic and we're here and we receive that for a reason. Man You as our mazing. Thank God. I will talk forever. Thank you so much for talking with me. shearing else heart and wisdom such lights to this world. You guys means so much to me and Michael. We Love Y'all to death as dear friends near. You guys we when? We love up to Ya. We love your relationship. We love what you're doing with your lives in your platforms in your talents, and your gifts in the hands and feet like you say you are y'all walk that walk better than anyone I know, especially the couple, the very powerful thing, see you guys together and Y'all stay the way. The way that you guys share your faith in your love with the world. It's really powerful thankful to know you guys and thank you for coming on I always in my podcast with leave your light. So what do you want people to know? Engineer wet. Why do we want the world to know? What do you want people to know? that. There's more good people than bad people that. You can't. You can't hold the way to the world on your shoulders. You can't. There is there's a van thing working. And it's working for you. The world is for you. It's not against him. is working for you in all you have to do is switch and believed that in that one little switch can change your life. What are you out? The first thing. He said that all I could think about was just. You Know Robin one another in our math. One of my favorite things to say is just say like. Is this. Is this God's love? Is this love or always say that like you know? How can we show God's love to them? In this moment? If something's happening with our family or something's going on with Tornado victims always like how can I show them love this moment? In so I, don't know just you it all in love. Stock Bez really good. Stopping in asking observing that stopping and say to cast allure. Yeah, like that's a big thing that where can i? Where can I be the hands and feet? Where can we can go and then taking the time to stop and listen to the answer? Man. Drake and Alex President please I will vote for. At least. I mean I. Love You guys. Alex if you were President United States I mean what a world we live in. It would be. It would be the most heart driven kindness place honors. Both of you guys y'all are true angels. Thank you so much for on, air. Let me, let. I'm. We gotta make. GotTa See Sunny? I now. I'm out. There will come hang out at Whitehall and once again. Anyone who needs it remains. In national, this is the place there's no more no more beautiful and wondering needs catering or you want. WanNa have food delivered her house, checkout, milk and honey. MILKEN! What's your instagram? Alex is milking any food. And then check out drake white drape once your instagram. Require stop. Drake Lat`stop I'll take him out a love you guys. Thank you. Guys come in all shapes and sizes. There is no normal for everyone, but there is a normal for you. If like thousands of other guys, you find that your normal isn't so normal anymore. It could be an addressable medical condition, called Peronist disease or PD. A curve with a bump that bothers you isn't normal and should be checked out by Irala gist because you don't have to accept that as your new normal finding, urologists at learn about PD DOT com backslash normal. Hey guys. It's bobby bones. I host the bobby bones show, and I'm pretty much always sleepy because I wake up at three o'clock in the morning a couple of hours later I get all my friends together. We get into a room and we do a radio show. We share our allies. We tell our stories. We try to find as much good in the world. World if he possibly can, and we look through the news of the day that you'll care about also your favorite country artists are always stop them by the hang out and share their lives and music, too, so wake up with a bunch of my friends on ninety eight point seven W. Z Q in Washington. DC or wherever the rotates you on the iheartradio APP.

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Amber Smith: Wife of Country Star Granger Smith shares her story of losing their 3 year old son River to a tragic downing accident.

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

1:04:40 hr | 1 year ago

Amber Smith: Wife of Country Star Granger Smith shares her story of losing their 3 year old son River to a tragic downing accident.

"Payoff Caroline Hobby of get real podcast I want to talk to you about what southern living magazine has up their sleeve in the south. Talking about food is personal. It's a way of sharing a part of your history. Your family, your culture in yourself on the biscuits jam podcasts, southern living editor and chief sit evans talk celebrity musicians like. Little big town's Kimberly flatman Brett. eldredge Martina McBride in Gladys Knight to hear stories of how they grew up and how they've been shaped by southern culture. Listen to biscuits and jam on Apple podcasts Iheart wherever find your favorite podcast. Support for this podcast comes from red bubble. Everyone's got thing. Maybe it's dinosaurs or donuts or super, weird, true crime shows, and if you want to express what you love, you should come to red bubble. Thousands of artists who are into dinosaurs donuts anti-crime sell art on stickers, t shirts, masks, pillows, and more see. You can get the thing you love made by an artist who loves to wrap bubble. Dot Com find your thing. Pay An artist. Off. These. In you. Soldiers? One can. Relax! Sumo after many technical difficulties. How does the volume on my computer? I am so happy to have you here Amber Smith. Lane he knew? I actually meet. It is Alan. We were just saying we feel like we know each other. It's crazy how the happens through socials, but you feel like you've met somebody many many times in. We'd never officially met so. In Texas right we are. We're in Georgetown. I'm from Waco, so. Isn't that Georgetown was like Austin Right? I guess it's about twenty minutes twenty minutes twenty five minutes or so. Austin's my favorite city in Texas hands out I I've definitely spent much time at Georgetown, but we always drive through because my sister and brother-in-law live in Austin. Texas or were you grainger both from there? We are, we are both originally I've grown up in Texas my whole life. He's from Dallas I'm from Fort Worth, and then we can just picked a central spot we we thought Austin would be like a good location, but we didn't want to be in the heart Boston hit all the traffic's that we just moved a little bit Al lived in round rock for a few years in the now Georgetown for Gosh almost got on six six years here. I was asking you and Grainger have been together for a long time like in you, said ten years in jail met on the set of his music video, so talk to me about how y'all net. And how old were you y'all must've been like baby. Yeah I was twenty seven. I think when we met and he actually message me through facebook. They were looking for actresses for his first music video, and they did they ran. It Hag an atom list. They held onto it. They held auditions. And I think they actually picked a girl, but then whenever went home? He was like had just doesn't feel right, so he bound me on facebook through the people you may know like my picture popped up. He just randomly messaged me and said Hey I'm Ed. Henry Music artist, would you? Would you like to come addition to be a music video and I was doing acting like small things commercials and things like that, so it was like okay. Yeah, I'll go meet some random diet. Like not safe but. Took my girlfriend. We met in Kaleen. We shot the video on Kaleen and I. Knew that I felt something that day. You know we. We work together all day, we. We had our first that day. Business onset. So are very first meeting was all filmed. Oh, my Gosh! was that narcissists natural. Was it awkward had to go it wasn't it wasn't opera. He said the for we did it. Four Times. He said the first two times I was acting and the second the last two. It was real. At all the way kids want to. SAPAG y'all had to get down. Now just. No, it wasn't any French kissing. Mainly pets mainly Pex, but you'll pex. They got more sensual as the time went on. I guess that's one way to break the ice like you've already kissed. You've already kind cross that line. You already had a connection, so I mean. Why not try it. Yeah, digestion, we let that. I'm sorry. Did you all start dating after that? So. I messaged him. I made the first move. Go I message. he's like a week or so later, I was just like. I need to know if you felt something to like I just felt a connection with you need. To know if you felt that same connection with me and I actually had the dating somebody else for like three three or four weeks before, and he said you know being the gentleman that he is, he said regardless of whether you feel something for me. Obviously you need to. Stop seeing that other person. And he made me wait a month after I stopped as stop dating, and then he asked me out for coffee. Together. Now respectful. Is that not even drinks coffee? Coffee! We closed down a starbucks in Fort Worth close like midnight. So. Did you? Were you ready to go for this country? Music? Live this and then like earl doubles junior I like binge watch videos last night. That Url devils junior I can see why people are obsessed. It is a it's a real huge person character white. Grainger really has an alter ego. He has many many many eidos. Earl is the one that of took off A. It's been such a creative release for him. Because Earl doesn't care care. Earl says what he wants. He sings what he wanted to seize guns shooting in. You know he's just the country boy so that is you know Grainger's a little more buttoned up and so that is his time to just release everything onstage in it's. It's just a fun creed released for him. Rancher, grow up a country boy. He, he grew up in Dallas, though I mean he lives I guess. He lived in the city, but they always had their ranch kind of in the west of Waco area, so he always grew up hunting and fishing, and he's a country boy at heart, but he did live in the city, did he? When he created these offer egos like did they come to stage right away or did it like slow leaks? Haven't he can come a Texas? Big Artists in Texas I write. You can get the same, yeah. We're doing the Texas in the band trailer days for. When I first met him, he just Kinda started started touring advantage trailer in, so we did that for Gosh. Few years He didn't hit. He lived in Nashville for five years before he met me, but we didn't. He didn't sign his record deal until two thousand. Fifteen I, believe. In national. Were you in the Vana trailer? With. That was that was. We were just talking about that yesterday. Those were some of the most fun days. You know we just we would. We would fall asleep together on one bench of the. You know with all the guys in. It's super late driving. We're just gas station stops junk food. And just it was just really fun like staying having to stay in like the gross hotels, just trying to make it work and hitting the pavement, and that was that was really fun. Then I got to go with him before we before we had our babies so and they know I think is so crazy about all that Michael Assembly like van and trailer days for ever I mean they were in the war for years for they got a record deal and got onto tour bus. And like you think. Never going to get out of that phase, you know it's like you think it's never going to get. You're never GONNA get to the next level, or you're going to be an advantage trailer forever and then one day you're looking back and you're like Dang though those days were actually really really sweet. You know even that hard in the struggle so hard. There's something so beautiful about it. Absolutely it makes you appreciate. It makes you appreciate where you are now so much more by having to fight in grinds in work super hard to get there. So it wasn't wasn't wasn't like an overnight thing. He's been seeing since I think. He picked up a guitar fourteen and he's forty now, so he's been doing it a long time. So what about your acting career? Tell me about that like. How did you get into acting because I just interviewed Dennis Quaid like acted with him, did relative. Don't mean that awesome. What? How did you get? That! I went to school for broadcasting and I, always thought I wanted to be like an entertainment reporter on e. or something. And then I just I did a like a few open casting. Calls of commercials in imprint shoots, and things I I really just loved it so two thousand eight. I found agency in Dallas and I just started doing commercials. And small roles in in one of the first ones I did was beneath the darkness with Dennis Quaid and I've played his his deceased why I played a ghost, but he was just one of the nicest people you know you know you. You spoke with him and he's just just a great guy. But yeah. I did I was doing commercials and small roles I. Did a couple of. Couple of. Things I'm proud of I was on a small Dallas in a small role in American crime and I'm just enjoy it. I. Don't know I just I love it. I love those the set in all the waiting around. Like that too much, but I enjoy it. Yeah, is it hard to get into the mindset of someone else like I feel like I would feel so awkward trying to like trying to play a role of someone else. I feel like I would be so awkward about. Do you just naturally love that, are you? Can you switch it? I don't. I'm not saying I'm a good actor I. Just love it like I am not one of those people who can meticulously Erlich change into morph into somebody I. Don't have that gift, but I just love it. I love doing it so. I look up to two actors. You can do that and it is hard for me. It's not it doesn't come naturally or easy. I have to kind of work at it. So I just love it. I guess an actor to? He, yeah, he would say he's better than I am. He can change. He keeps me laughing. He can change into character just like that get. He's very good at impersonations to. He can impersonate anybody. He meets changes. As you know he just, he could step to all kinds of different characters. Does he have lots of voices in the house like when you're at home? Is there lots of alter-egos flying around? He'll he'll he will. Title Talk like his friends and his family of make the kids laugh so yeah. So I. Live like Rib Shirt. You have been the just bravest Beautiful Most Beautiful Soul in mom out there. You've gone through something that no mother whatever? Should ever go through like I. Mean you know it's just targeting Harper meet. Even talk about with you because I feel so much in my heart for you and your family that you've been so vocal about the loss of your list river and I feel a year intentionally speaking about that. I am WanNa talk about what happened or Whatever you're comfortable with. A guy so. I guess for people who may not know. We, lost our youngest son river. WHO's three and we lost into a drowning in our backyard? We thought we had. We thought we had done everything right when we moved to Georgetown. We we moved to a house with a pool, but it didn't have a gate that was the one of the first things we did was installed in iron. Forfeit fence with the lock. We always talk to kids about not going near the water. We hadn't had swim lessons, you know. It just as something that happened so quickly. Grain outside with with all the kids I I was in the shower and I heard my daughter scream. And when I went out there grain already doing CPR on rib. And he he hit. It just goes to show how quick and silent it is. I mean there was no splash. There is no no sound of the gate. Nobody saw river going the gate. Nobody heard the gate close and graduates twenty feet from the pool, just doing gymnastics with London and turned around and. Using the pool, so we're. It's something that we will never understand how it happened how it was so silent. HOW FAST! How quickly? It happened, but we made the decision that we could either. Hideaway, not talk about it and not honor his life, or we could do everything that we could to hold our family together and to share our story and try to help this. Try to prevent this from happening to anybody else, so I've kind of made that mission. To Ana River in that way, too. I was Ivan I love falling. You but I've been like reading all your your posts today and yesterday especially. And you talked about ambushes in God winks and how? They both happen. And like you got hit with an ambush I guess you're saying they're gonNA. Fire Department fire stations, and he built a couple miles from your old house where it wasn't there when. The incident happened. Yeah so we've learned a lot about Johnny. How fast you need to get the heartbeat back. Before, brain damage occurs, and we were on the phone was with nine one one for ten minutes before they got there, so there was obviously not a fire station close enough to get to within five minutes, so I was driving home the other day in. Our new house is relatively close old wounds two miles. And I saw that they're building a new fire station right? There is just like broke my heart because I thought you know what they could have got their five minute sooner. COULD ANYTHING OF CHANGED? I, don't know I can't. I can't do that to myself, so I just try to say. Will now they are now there now. If it happens to somebody else, they'll get there in time. And hopefully they can save also China. See the positive, but it still hurts when you hit with that because it's like. Why couldn't they have been there? During our accidents. As, you, said living in the what ifs like you can't live in the wettest, and I'm sure that is just so hard. Sometimes you probably have to spiral down into the what IFS Do. Yeah, often despising sometimes, and then you have to just tell yourself like do give yourself a moment to just go all the way like I. One post you said you just raged like you had to rage and scream and like. Let it out, and then you had to tell yourself okay like how do you? How does that process go for you I think what the victims about grieving. Is it so so persona so different for everybody in? The time that you talked about raging, we're we're moving right now. So this is Kinda bareback here behind me bit. This was filled with pictures in memories that brave and I just I just lost it. One day I was screaming like I. Don't want a memorial wall. If my son I want my son. I just I do allow myself to let it out I. Scream I. Yell at God. I pray. I hit my knees. I cry because it's healthy to mourn and grieve and I think if I hold that in which is what happened that week? I held it in all week. It's not healthy. It takes a toll on your body, and so that's one thing I do allow myself I still cry every day I allow myself a small portion time to cry day. Pick myself up, but I say okay. I trust. You got and we're GONNA. We're GONNA fight in. We're just GONNA. Keep taking steps forward. And I'll I'll do that for the rest of my life, you know. How have you in Grainger? Gone! Closer, during this. That's one thing I'm so grateful for. Is We have? We're closer than we've ever been. You know obviously going through something like this. It's it could either put a wedge in between you. Enforce you apart, or it can bring you closer in thankfully for us, you know. The day we left the hospital. We look each other in. Re said we're still a family. We're GONNA go home. We're not going to let anything tariff family apart. We have to go home and tell our two children. The brother has gone and. We're GONNA. Do everything we can to stay together by through this. Trust Guide so we. We did go to therapy. We went to a site in Tennessee, which was awesome. It's amazing in deep intense hard work in it. It really helped us both, and then our children have been counseling. For seven seven months since the accident and yet, we just we pray together we. We talk about our feelings in. That's kind of another thing through grief is. He grieves differently than I do and you have to. You have to accept that about your partner like you can't. I can't get upset with him if he's one day or or I'm super sad like you have to respect the way they feel. It's so personal like for him. He can't look at pictures and videos of rib like it it. It hurts him. It breaks him, but for me that helps me. It makes you feel like I'm still close to him so. Just respecting your partner in knowing when your partner is sad in knowing when to step back in a moment in also knowing when to grab them in hugged him in helped him through it. How do we definitely be closer, do you? Is it hard to Aligarh happy? That's when we talk about. All the time is finding still finding joy and. I talk radio the other day I. Don't know that will ever be happy again, but I have joy i. am so grateful for everything. I still have in my life. My family. You know our community that has come together. Feeling got close to me like find joy in those moments but yeah, if if I'm ever having a good time laughing with the kids or or laughing with my friends, you do Kinda. Stop in for a second you're like. You shouldn't be laughing. But why are you having right now? Like your son is. Your son has gone. That's hard to fight through. But you're left, would want you to keep gall into. Be Happy, but it is a struggle. Mean you feel guilty, but I'm trying to fight through that. Yeah. So Lincoln had a dream of really. Vivid dream. Did. That Oh. Know what's most lake. Give you so much happiness and Happiness like true having is that must give you so much joy when you. Have something like that happened, so tell me about that dream, because like when you type out and I was like. Wow, that's a vivid dream of river. I know he remembered it. He came right in when morning and he said Mommy I wanNA. Tell you something but I don't want you to be sad i. Said Okay. He said I dreamed about river and told me exactly what he was wearing. He said he was wearing some crab floaty. He had on red goggles. Folding. He told me a week later. He said he was holding this big leaf. This big Hawaii Leaf. And just a vivid dream in saying. He told him that God was fun. Got US fine a matt. He, he said. Did you see me by the pool? Setting. Did you see Mommy and Daddy CPR? In the Dream Lincoln? Said yes, in that. I will go up. Matt gave me so much. Hope like you know we were doing CPR in many woke up in heaven talks about how fun got is. I looked up the meaning of showed Lincoln some photos of different leaves as well. What was good, he was holding, and it was the palm leaf, which is simple as eternal life, and I'm just grateful that he was able to to have his brother visit him. Kids are so close to heaven there so innocent in the Vale of Heaven and Earth so much thinner than we think in there so close so. Grateful that he got that, he got that dream to be with his brother. How League in London men with all of this? Lincoln London. Has You know she's older? She's eight now. When it happened, she was seven. She had some really hard moments in the beginning because they were there and they saw everything. They kept saying why. Why was Bobby Purple? Why why do they have purple cheeks? And so she? She was a little scared for a little while. But now we've allowed them to. Talk about their brother and remember brother, look, pictures, and videos and laughing, and thankfully they haven't had any. Terrible breakdowns any I'm so grateful that they are in such a good place in. Heaven in such a beautiful way that they're scared. They still WANNA. Swim, which is crazy to me, wow! They're doing so good. They're doing great in school. I think counseling is really helped them. But yeah, they they're doing the best. That I could ever hope for for having to go through such a traumatic thing, such a young age. Oh Yeah. Lincoln. Sorry no go ahead and Lincoln did Jokes passed 'em where river we call it. His Angel spot where he's buried. We pass that the other day in. That's the first time that Lincoln cried really cried sent in a year. He never he, he holds at Haled's it things in I think in. He actually released a lot of stuff that day so I'm glad London will cry and let it out, but even even still. She's only done that about three times this year, so. I'm grateful that they're not extremely sad all the time you know, they remember river in a in a happy happy fund lights. And another thing you posted was. Like not allowing yourself to go down the spiral guilt, because you in grainger are amazing parents like I see myself in you guys like we're all just trying the very best weekend. Do provide the best life for our kids to keep them safe, but like. No one is safe from anything like this this Kevin to anyone at any time, and you're doing the very best you can, and you said you have to dislike. Not Blame yourself in I. Totally agree with you because it's so easy. Probably want to blame herself, but even said like what I would have given. If I hadn't taken that shower, I would love to give that shower back, but it's like you just need five minutes. Mean you're with three kids all day every day like you gotta find five minutes for yourself somewhere. That's that's been really hard because it was one of those Nice I. Put on my instagram. It was one of those smart. You know you know as a mom you're. You're exhausted, Not all over you in your, you know your your comment, however you all day, and you don't have two seconds to go to the restroom or anything. So that that night. I was frustrated and I. Just said they were outside, ingrained said. Can you take the boys inside? And I just five minutes. I just need to go. Take a shower in between the time I took. The shower is when it happened, and it's like. How can you not? Feel, guilty about how can you not think if I wouldn't have taken that shower? Just put him to bed, but I'm trying to. As a Christian you, you believe that God knows your time and we're trying to trust. We don't understand or trying to trust it. For some reason. This was this was rivers time on earth. That was his time to go home and we can't beat ourselves up about it. We just have to try to continue trusting living for living for river living for the Lord. Just keeping going until it's our time. And forgiving ourselves for something that. We don't have that much control over. Exactly! Forgiving yourself for honestly doing nothing wrong. Honestly, I mean you know it's just? It's the what if game in I can't. Even I can play the loaded game with stuff. That doesn't matter all day long and so when you're in a real. Situation like this. Actually it probably gives you so much clarity about what actually really matters in life I bet you don't give. Two cents about that used to at all anymore. We waste so much time focusing on absolutely does not matter. And, then you get hit with something like this like they're all this. Nothing matters really except for. Family God in trying. What has that brought to your awareness about what matters you? You said it exactly it out, hate that it took. Losing my son to open my eyes to the world into what is important and This little dumped trivial things that that you're right. They just don't matter the only thing that matters in life. Is Your family in God and helping people in loving people and. Trying to bring people to the Kingdom of Heaven, that seriously the only thing that matters and people get so worked up over little tiny things, and it's not their fault. It's just until something gets you like this. You don't know you know you don't realize. It bigger things in life in the more the most important things in your life. Right in front of you. And people get so upset about people get upset. With their families with other people over stupid stuff that led draws rifts in their families draws rifts in Brin, chips or people take some personal. That was just like misinterpreted, and it's like let's just cut all that out in Disl- see through the Lens of love. The athlete's life is short and. It's real short in like you said. Sometimes, you, you look back on these pictures and you're like you don't even know that you're taking these pictures in that. You'll look back and be so thankful. You have I don't know exactly said because you don't know their last. You never know when it's your last moment. With something with someone, or when an error is over, not even just like a deck like when a season is over even like talking about the van days. Liquid Grainger on the road lights US thinking about that with Michael the other day like. I remember on the road. With him as a Gosh I just like I'm so ready for us to be able to be in a bus in like you know, it'd be so great deal actually came to the show. Seventeen you look back and you're like. Wow, like those are moments that. Were Fun like we were young with. No cares you did that on your ten year challenge. No cares at all like. The biggest care I had was like. Where am I am my drink, or am I gonNA be able to hang out and party all night. And I'm so glad I had used in that innocence in that. The just like no, no real responsibility like I felt grateful. Pat Season in my life like that. And then it's over and over one day in. No will never ever be back again, so it's like you have to enjoy these moments because. Sometimes. There's a big into things and you never see it coming. Now, it's like you're intercepting. He said the other day. There's there'll be a time when you will run outside and play with your friend for the last time, or you'll lay your baby down in their crib for their last time. You'll give them that one more kiss. It will be the last time you just don't know when that last time is going to be, and that's why. Especially now we're just you know he. He always says it on his podcast were planning for the future, but relieving for today. That's all we have. And like I said it's hard motherhood when you're tired and you're exhausted and you just want a little bit of a break that just trying to live for today for the next breath. The next step in just be in the moment as much as you can. Because you just don't know when. Your last moments going to be. Was it hard for you to get back out into public. Get back into. Your life has been a transition. we did we. We kinda shy away from because we just started the smiths two months before he us up on. Our Youtube Channel in we. We spent time we stayed with our family for about two weeks. We kinda went dark in way decided. That's we made the choice like. Let's let's open up. Let's be vulnerable. Let's talk to people about story about what happened about our faith about God's grace and. So it, obviously you know is social media there. There's a ton of negative stuff that comes with that so I. Think the hardest part stepping back out is of negative. The negative comments negative backlash just got to focus on all the good, because ninety eight percent of it is wonderful in great. That two percent you know, sometimes, it's hard especially when you're going through a really traumatic traumatic thing, you're trying to be vulnerable and share your story to not focus on the negative negative comments, and in that thing, right negative comments. ownersh. We got it. It was horrible Basically saying. You should just watch your kid or you know you. You killed your child or We should be in jail. You know there are lots of comments saying these they're just rich and famous. day there was any normal person they would be in jail and I'm thinking. You know it's like people think we weren't investigated like we're normal family. Place came. Police interviewed us. We have child protective services. Come out in interview us at our family multiple times like. When you're going through something that terrible to have to hear those things about you and your family. When you know in your heart leg, you try your best to be a good parent and just tragic accidents happen. So that was hard, but were coming out of that were coming into. Hopefulness and gratitude and an kindness. Many kind people in our national communities rallied around us. The music community, our friends and our family and. That's what we have to focus on its for Abrahams says if you're not in the arena with me, you don't have the you'll get the right to comment in hurt my heart so. Little Group together and trust your family. Trust your friends and. Those people who truly love you and Shirley matter and don't focus on negative energy in your life. Heo, Cowan Hobby, here women don't often talk about thinning hair, but nearly half of all women experience it as early as age forty. If you're one of them, you know, it can feel scary stressful, which only adds to the problem control isn't given. It's taken, so take charge of your hair growth. 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DOT COM Promo Code get real for hair. Strong as you are payoffs Caroline Hobby here from getting real podcast. Talk to you about Southern Living Magazine are celebrating the essence of life in the south, covering the best in food home travel in style, and this June southern living is excited to be launching a brand new podcast called biscuits and jam in the south. Talking about food is personal. It's a way of sharing your history. Your family, your culture and yourself each week sit Evans editor in chief of southern. Living magazine will sit down with celebrity musicians. Musicians to hear stories of how they grew up what inspired them and how they've been shaped by the southern Culture John, said and his all star guests, including Jayco and Willie Nelson Kimberly Chapman Martina McBride, Gladys Knight Brent, eldredge and more as they talk about cherished memories and traditions, the family meals they still think about and their favorite places to eat on the road tuna. Now the episode one sit talks to country musician Jaco about macaroni, croquettes, growing up in Florida and the story behind his hit song homemade listen to biscuits in jam on Iheart podcast or wherever you find your favorite podcast. So you said one time you're praying. You actually heard an audible voice from. God and it said something like I've got rid I. Don't know exactly what you said I've got rid in. Everyone is grieving something and it was like a big moment for you big. Eye Opening Moment for you, yeah! I really been trying to cultivate a relationship with God and I feel like I hear him speak to the occasionally. That might sound crazy people, but I had. Yeah I had been having a really. Rough rough time and I I have been allowing myself to grieve that. Normally it's for a short amount of time agreed for an hour or something. This was days like I was just wallowing. I was feeling self-pity, Gill in anger and sadness than. I finally just heard like enough. Stop it like not the only one hurting. Everybody is hurting in this world. You're not be more special than anybody else. Hit yourself up I've got rid of got you and you can do this and I immediately just like watch my eyes and I was like okay. Let's go you know and not to say. I, you can't grieve and you can't. Warren gives you should in. That's healthy, but don't allow yourself to be stuck there. Don't allow yourself to never get out of bed. You gotta get up. You gotTA. Keep fighting. Everybody in this world is hurting whether they're grieving a death or the loss of a job or all the stuff going on right now with with with covid. You know everybody is hurting. And we have to just try to live our lives compassionately and hopefully. And just take step. Has. It been hard at times to. Say ingratitude with God or to stay. Has it has been hard not to be super angry at God at times? That's one thing I don't I. Don't feel like I've ever been angry at God. I've been angry. I've been mad. You know like this is not fair. I don't want this, but I've never been. ANGRY AT HIM IN A. I don't know that's hard to explain. I've just never been angry at God. It's like I've always just trusted. Him I don't understand it, and I am in. I am angry at times that I'm trying to like, I said not let myself stay in anger. And, I think I think part of it's helped me. His I felt so comforted by God. Since the very first marketed. It's happened. I just felt him me the whole the whole time in the hospital in the whole time after that and. Anytime I really grieving or very much desperate calling out to him, he has just shown up for me. And so it's really hard to be mad at. God shows up for you. When you need now is he could be. Bad, things that you're in your life, but. So does he auburn different ways like feeling audible. You get signs. Like how does how has he shown up? You have yet I think. I think starting within the hospital is it was a strange feeling of you're going through one of the worst things you could ever go through, but it was feeling of peace like. Was Helping Guide my decisions. I wasn't in my right eye, and I was in shock, and he was helping guide our decisions as to what we were going to do next. You know we made the decision to donate. Rivers were. Never thought of that in my right. My right mind, but I felt with me and I felt I felt like it was home, and he was guiding absent. Since then you know there was a river of. A A Rainbow River servants. I asked for I asked for like a physical sign of a Blue Butterfly one. Night and I got that the next day and I was crying out the other day, and I immediately looked up, and there was a cardinal defense, and I'm just a firm believer in little signs like that. And I know some people think those winces, but I just as a Christian you don't. You don't believe in coincidences. And I just feel i. just feel him with me. All the time and I'm I'm just grateful for that. Yeah! Oh man amber. Yeah, so what is life was like for you today? The day currently we are moving out of this house. We knew we moved from the House Ray. Accident happened a month later. We couldn't be there moved into my brother-in-law's house. He was selling, so we knew this was kind of a safe spot for us to regroup and think about what we wanted to do next. So we're GONNA be out of this house ten days, and we found a little a little piece of land, and we're going to hopefully live RV for a little bit and we're. GonNa build a small farmhouse and. Just try to continue our mission. In saving trying to prevent this from happening to other people. talk about water safety and we created the river. Kelly Fund to help give to other people. Trying to speak out in join forces with other MOMS, who have lost a child to drowning and all of us coming together can hopefully save other lives so. Grainger should hopefully get back to touring the next couple months. Matt opens up again just trying to. Move forward carrying. Carrying his loss with us in living for red. Waiting for our kids in our family. So what would you say? The mission is that you're trying to speak up about Mike. How are you? What are you wanting people to know about water safety? Just, want parents and caregivers babysitters to know that this can happen to anybody. You can think that you're taking all the precautions, but it's not one thing that's gonNA prevent it. It's not just supervision. It's not just a gate. It's not just swim lessons. You need multiple layers of protection. That's what we've been talking about. One thing I didn't know like when I was went to the pediatrician. You know your pediatrician asks you. How should be eating? Are they pooping? Is this no one ever said? Do you have a pool? Do you know it's the number? One Hiller children one to four I can never knew that do do you know it takes less than thirty seconds? Do you know that they can have brain damage after before four minutes. Just in trying to educate people about that, because you don't know you see in reason, it's like. Oh, you're scoop muck, native CPR, and everything's fine. That's just not the case it takes. You go into the restroom in your child to wander off in fifteen seconds twenty seconds, and that's how fast your life can get turned upside down. So I think just speaking out about that and telling people about. Swim survival we I only ever knew swim lessons, but now they have a new thing called swim. Survival teaches babies to float. On. You can start that as early as eight months. Where if your baby falls in, they can learn to roll over in flow. Yet just trying to educate people about all the steps needed in all of the multiple layers of protection that you can have to protect your babies. So. Your heart never be the same now you may never know. You can be truly happy again, so what? What does happiness look like free now? I'm. Just finding joy throughout the day I, think I'm being grateful. Having gratitude, me to be. It's hard to be angry. It's hard to be bitter when you're grateful so I think just looking around you in instill being grateful for things that we do have in our life. I think that that brings happiness seeing kids happy. Scene Grainger working on a song he's he's creative again. which that's taken him a little while to get there. That makes me happy seeing him happy again. Hearing other stories of people sharing their stories, saying we put our baby swim lessons or we. We installed a gate because of you. We open up our Bible again. Because of your son, you know that brings me happiness. Is, life has meaning in. We're bringing. People have been you know. That makes me happy. Yeah Amber You You are so strong like I literally. Look at your instagram all the time dislike. You are such. If we're talking about how life is just bleak in the ultimate goal is get to heaven because we're all on our way to heaven on this earth. None of us are getting out of here. Alive and some taken way too soon. And some of us live a long life. You never know when our time to go is going to happen. But. When something does happen? That's out of what we think. Is. Prepared for or tragic. I just the way you are handling it in the way you are. Stepping up in might bringing God into all of your post in like talking about your honest feelings and being vulnerable, the fact that you are willing to share like you do. You are so inspiring and I know that's not what you want to be. Because I. Know More than you want to have ever back, but the fact that you are. Using your situation that you've been dealt in the way that you are i. Just You're using your life for God in such huge way, and that is so incredible you. Because you are. You are absolutely changing other people's lives. By the way you're showing up in your life. And I know that's so hard and I just wanted to tell you. Everybody knows you and sees you in in your family. Sees that about you guys. What a light you are, and how you are using the situation to still find light, and that's almost near impossible, but y'all are doing it. Harm people. Say you're so strong in? All can say I'm not I'm weak I'm weak, but I got a strong God. So. That's what I'm holding onto you and I. Thank you for saying that. River was such a lie in our lives and I can only hope to still continue to shine it. Just let people know of it. You can do things you can get through hard things. Not Alone. Allow videos you posted of him. I loved the one where he was like. Eating is like some sort of. Wally poverty something in Lincoln and London were asking if they can have some unusually course. Sui? Yeah, he is the sweetest, and then when he came up to you and your laying on the bed. I mean I dislike. I stare at your videos all the time and he. Like in your ear. I gotTA. Tell you a secret have cookie. God He's. The brightest light. It's such a little bitty age. was He always bringing humor. All the time always laughing, always dancing I always felt like he. Always said when I looked into his eyes. It was you could. He could like see inside your soul. He just had this. This lied about him. In all of you know all of our children do, but. There was just something. It's like Keanu something that we didn't I don't know he just. He knew Jesus said aged to like he said Jesus, his friend I never told him that you know. I never told him that we talk about. Go, but I never told him that Jesus was his friend. He just I don't know it like he always wanted to go fast. Nothing was ever fast enough. I feel like he was trying to get all he could. In those three years like he knew you, he didn't have much time or something. Here's a special special void, so he wasn't adventure. Oh, my gosh, every I. mean there's so many videos like you're gonNA. I'M GONNA end up in the ER with you. You're going to keep me on my toes and. So many times. He could've really been hurt, but he was spared in. It's like I don't know. We always had the sense. That something was GonNa Happen in your in a strange way. There's a lot of talk to about that that have lost a child that. They said that was the one that they felt. Something was may happen to their child. That's strange to say, but not scared of danger at all now now he would always tell me if he was going faster if he was climbing on something I would always try to get him down and you'll go It's okay. It's okay. Momma, it's OK. Tell me not to worry, but yeah. He was in adventure. He loved it. And A. Video are watched honestly this morning probably seven times when you were fake crying in him up in your face. You instead don't cry. Mama don't. That's I. Hold onto hearing that little voice and I actually heard that I was crying Wednesday at. His Angels Spot Tears, my guess of Crying Angel spot in a heard that little voice say to me, don't Prime Alva. You know like I'm not here. Don't don't cry meaning. He's not in his earthly body. He's having his spirit, is there? It's too beautiful, but sad. Sad thought react to that little voice like telling me don't cry. Don't cry. I'm okay. Yeah so. You You have a something in motherhood that a lot of us don't have yet, which is dealing with the loss of a child, but what has motherhood shown you like all the layers of motherhood, the good and the bad. Like what are you? What Does Motherhood taught you? That it's. The. Most amazing. Thing ever with it is also one of the hardest. It's unpredictable. It can break your heart, but still leave you with joy in a strange way. Questioning just always wanted to be a mom. That's all I've ever wanted to be in. Just to trust the process trust guide in love your kids love your kids today. Be With them. Forgive Yourself. Give yourself grace. We're all just trying to do the best we can. And you're a good mom, you know. Don't ever be hard on yourself. Your kids just want you and love you. And Yeah just love them as much as you can today. What have you learned about marriage in these ten years, even married. That you, can you, you can go through. Some of the hardest things in your lives, but it can it can. Make you grow stronger together. Make you grow in your face together. Not just learned so much about. My husband in about our relationship and how? No matter what you go through, you can make it if you try new trust the Lord in you. You join together, stand together. Were different and you're gonNA you're gonNA handle things differently in just to respect each other and communicate with each other and let each other what you need. You can make it. Yeah. How how has music been a part of grinders every? For Wild! Eric wasn't wasn't feeling very creative. As you can imagine in about a month ago, he hit. He hit a really creative. He just hit the ground running and he's been nonstop ever since. It's been really helping him to ride in create again and being a studio again. So that's I know. That's brought. Some joy and the guys have been recording some some shows and They're wanting to do some live shows on facebook and I think battle be helpful for them to get together and play and have that commodity again. Together so yeah. House quarantine life in for you is. It Texas has been a lot different, obviously than than other places in the world like we were, we teamed officially like stay at home for at least two weeks or three weeks whatever they us, and then we started being able to go out with masks and. The kids miss their friends. They're like dying. Plates and school was a little tricky steep. Get home. There's fighting years. Didn't their last day was yesterday. So we have now we have a third grader a first grader now, so we did. It was renamed a teacher. Get I learned. Was That my children? Your children obviously learning act differently with you than they do their teachers, so they didn't want to do work with me. There's like no I'm just GONNA. Go Watch Youtube now. You have to sit down into your work. Lincoln WanNa do London's where they would wanNA. Fight over computers than just. Every person I talked to said it was just so stressful, but it was. It was nice for me to be able to see what teachers have to go through, you know. How to handle different how different children learn in and I just always respected teachers have always loved teachers. I'm sure it's given a lot of parents a new respect for for their teachers. All the videos going around like instagram and Tiktok facebook of like parents teaching their kids. The parents were like. Strong out in innovation called the Martini and they're like t-shirts shirts. You gotta come back. You gotTA taste. I'm like I can't imagine so bad at school myself. When I was in school I, mean I. Kinda I hate saying it's sort of like skated. My way through I didn't really ever learn much in school. I just tried to get through it. I got. I wouldn't have no idea how to teach. My kids how to learn anything especially like math. Or Science. S was one thing I was grateful for is that might shows are still a little younger? Some of my friends were teaching older like Algebra. Like now. Just. Go like we're just doing. Short addition and subtraction handle that yeah can't imagine teaching like fifth grade, geometry or something I. I haven't done that in years I know like. Why are we learn that? Because none of us know how to do it. Right. And need to be had to write checks and clean the house and like. Actual stuff that we're GONNA. Use Live scab. A here's how you balance money. Here's bank account. It have some savings. Learn learn about set up for your future. You don't really need to know calculus unless you're GONNA be. Some sort of math wizard I know I got in way. But also. taught me is how much can be done online like I? Never knew like. I never even knew I could do interviews like this online until I was I to do everything in person. I think what we're realizing as A. Whole, culture is like we can do a lot of stuff online in. It's made us get creative with that. Absolutely. I've also noticed. I feel like it's made. People care more like about people's birthdays or or anything, and there's been so many parades drive-by things in zoom girls, nights and May I think it's actually made people come closer together in a strange way, even though we're supposed to be separated or part. You just made people crave that. Feeling of being close to somebody or taking care of somebody or doing a birthday party or anything I feel like it's brought. US brought us closer together in that way, and also on Church and. Worship services like so many more people are now joining online service if they didn't want to ever walk into church, so I think that's been a plus since well, and I am so glad that you said virtual girls nights because I have so many friends I want to keep up with the honestly, and when you are running, your household got your kids running around. It's like you don't. It's hard to get out in like. Leave the house. Do Steph, but you wanNA have a wine that girlfriend now realize. Why don't we do have an hour and a half? Yeah, I can't talk and everyone just stays. Dominic goes right to bet. It's safe to drive the. You'll just be. Totally. Like when grainger like when the red carpets are happening, and there's all the the award season the dressing up. Do you like all the all that like the Glam the red carpet, and have you missed all that with Ronan? Everything being shutdown. Now. Funny you say that so before the accident. I've labs getting dressed like as a mom. You don't ever get to get just get you. Make your hair down I. Love that stuff grainger. That's worked for him. He has to go do interviews in like he doesn't care about fashion. He's just like I want to watch my my peers sing. I love that I loved the red carpet. I left the gallons. I love seeing what everybody else was wearing. And then. You know it's kind of one of those things you said about what really matters. After the accident. I just. It's still such an integral part of music in love I love the awards I left. People getting recognized for their hard work in that is so important, but I think thinking back to. I don't know it's like Dr Really Care about getting dressed up in like that's not really important. It's important for me to go to support my husband. Our peers and music, but the whole glitz glamour of it doesn't mean the same thing to me anymore after going through something hard if that makes sense. It's still such amazing award shows are so bad in amazing to recognize people for their work, just kind of changed in that way so i. don't really Miss Getting dressed up. Yeah I. I think honestly like I've been like Sonny's eight months old right now on I still so in the trenches with it all the time in a good way like I'm so grateful for every day I get to be with her, but it's like Oh. My God like I'm so getting at the end of the day I. The last thing I want to do is a league her and then be go address upset. I feel the same way kind of like enjoyed the chronic break a little bit. Eight. What's happening in the world? But on the flip side like just being able to be home, and not you have anything that you have to do or the responsibilities going anywhere act like that's been. The blessing of it in in my eyes. I don't know. That and The longest August that we've never had grainger home. In ten years. A blessing for the kids to be home with them in them to get to spend time with them, so that's been I know. It's hard for him because he loves like I'm sure like Michael They love the road. They love the stage. They love to perform, but it's been nice to slow down. Spend time together and get to actually just be a family. A normal family. What is family time light? Free off the house. Like what are what are y'all? What is your home life like? When now Grainger's been here? Have you had to create a new normal? Because like that's the thing with all of us road wives. It's like when our husbands are home for a long time. Part of me is like shouldn't even getting back on the road. I. I know. It's been good. We without them in IT, yeah! Yeah, yeah, that's been a change. We do like Grainger. We've been going to the ranch or go to the farm and says they've been grainger Manley Janet been playing a lot of video games together. They play Zelda. We have movie nights. Chicken. So it's like we spend a lotta time outside with the chickens and a lot of it is just been filming content or miss being together filming that because that's. Our only source of income right now. He's not touring out. Yeah. Just just plan being together and you started arise with amber. Somewhat what? What made you want to start that on your youtube? Pages of his amazing. So. I think just because I guess my instagram post. Things had so many people. Saying you should do like an online Bible study around the lab to hear more about your faith or your money, and so I thought about it for a long time I thought I'll just try it I mean it's really intimidating to try to upshur note to come up with content in put good stuff out there for people, so that's been a little tricky, but I thought after the accident I'm going to say yes. To whatever God is calling me to do, step out faith and I just said Okay God. Use Me We did before whatever people need to hear. Please let them come through me and that's all I can hope for inside. Just share my faith. Answer questions until stories. that's more more faith-based than our youtube stuff so I just do that. Every Sunday Sunday morning at eight. Just. Pray to God, gives me stuff to talk about. It's amazing and I just WANNA. Say Like I. I don't know how to talk about this with you like this. It's hard for me like I. Don't want to say anything wrong to you and anyone listening I'm sorry if I said anything wrong it so hard to have these conversations because i. feel you on the mother's level in I. Just WanNa, make sure I. Set it all right, indebted. Alright, but. You're moving when you're talking about stuff like it's hard. It's hard to talk about this Start talking. It's so amazing that you're sharing your story. You're starting a youtube pay as you to moment where you're just having faith because. This is a messy conversation it's it's conversation nobody wants to have. You're willing to have it and share it and I think it's amazing that you're just letting godly June, saying yes to that. How do you know when God is prompting you? I I. DO devotional every morning, so I'll wake up in just pay. If there's something that something that I made to talk about this week. Please show it to me and so I'll feel certain things. Tug At me and I'll just all write down my thoughts and my ideas, and then all planet throughout the week, and then just hopefully. Where it was supposed to go. Gaff to just little edges or things stories heard from my friends or things that I've seen the news or Whatever's on my heart that week? Take that little nudge. Forward. What's been one of the biggest blessings of Youtube page? Having having all of the footage of our family and we could never known that we would lose ribs, but we have so much video of him during those last few months in on just so grateful that we had back his while I'm a mom and I take photos and videos all the time. We wouldn't have had all of that and I. I'm just grateful that we're documenting lives in. We'll be able to watch that forever, and they'll be able to watch that forever. So I think I. Think having the time with the family in the footage, Evatt. In just outpouring of love from from our friends in our fans in our family is just debase letting. So I'M GOING TO WRAP UP I. Absolutely, love and Adore your spirit. I think you are one of the brightest lights on this earth and Yoon Grainger are together. You are an incredible couple. You are a shining light guiding force of how to handle tragedy together, and how to walk on and faith, and I think the world needs that more than anything. I hate that you are that you have to be that, but you are that in you are shining such bright light and I just want you know I love and respect you and look up to Meyer you so much and I. Know everyone follows. You does the same. I in every interview with Lear Light. And what do you want people to know? Thank you for saying that I appreciate that so much in October the same way about you. The. Biggest thing I want people to know is that. God loves you and he is with you is with you through everything through the joy through the pain, and you can do hard things. And just to live like. Try to find joy in every day go out barefoot. Run around. Enjoy your family find joy in the small things and just love the people around you fiercely today. In everything joining me. Thank. You that was that was fun. Thank you, you didn't you didn't say anything wrong? There's no right or wrong way to talk about this Grateful that you're allowing me to share, so thank you well I wanted. Have you my podcast that I did not wanNA come on I. Didn't if you WanNa talk about it I don't like you sent. Everyone grieves differently I. Don't know like sharing your story is something that is a healing process. Re I figured it was because you're. Beautiful with sharing. But it is just like it's. It's just such A. Just. You're amazing. You're amazing woman, and thank you for sharing your heart with me in my listeners and. For keeping ribs. Spirit in memory so bright and alive, and anybody can go with the foundation. How do you get to the Ribs Foundation? So at River Kelly Fund Dot, Org and we. We set it up as a fine so that we can help in many areas in the community, so we changed that all the time one time it could be a children's hospitals. One time it could be veterans. One time it could be preventive drowning alive anything, so want to check that out. It's Real Kelly run ductwork. You're amazing amber. Thank you so much money in the reporting bit driving upset. Hey young world, the world is. It is I o seed, the producer of the bachelor show podcast featuring other than myself and. With your favorite Ethiopian. The follow show pockets. PIPPI keeping you in the note with the latest. You'll fair, but celebrities, current events and providing free games ISMI pledge on the top of the town because it's going down the Broiler Marshall Podcast, don't you? Only cover the latest in entertainment, but we're bringing you the entertainment directly from the source. That's right now. Celebrity guests host exclusive interviews those down on the alert show podcast we are number one source for the culture, so like DJ callous says don't ever play is to join the conversation that date head on over to the show and join me for our time me. and. It's offered you from the OCC on the. Show podcast available iheartradio on Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast. Hi I'm Tom! Colosio Chef Restaurant, her food advocate and the host of the new podcast called citizens chef on iheartradio. People my turn on the news and see the stories about their. Immigration policy our healthcare. Icy. Stories about food. On this podcast will toward the car political climb. Looking for inroads the food wherever we could find them. From the supply chain and we hear the Tyson might be closing another plot Monday in Tennessee Labor Mattis. An executive order on immigration we want American, Septa jobs who on American, said the healthcare. We WanNa take care of our citizens Merson disaster. Our systems handle who disaster disbanded. That is reality. These are the stories of our food. Episode One of citizen. Chef is available now. Subscribe and listen on the iheartradio, APP apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Amen Sister Friend! with Sarah Anne

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

46:08 min | 10 months ago

Amen Sister Friend! with Sarah Anne

"The in this election of course of questions loading maybe the greatest freedom we have I'm not letting pandemic take that away. How do I vote by mail? Move. He's still there are answers. It just takes a few minutes. Make sure you get right. I'M GONNA make sure my vote is counted introducing the largest voting information campaign in us. For. Official information from election authorities, visit facebook dot com slash voting. Info Center. This message was brought to you by facebook. Hey, all caroline hobby mix match and masks in old Navy facemask for the family their triple layer cotton designed according to the CDC's recommendation for non-medical facemask plus they come in handy multi in sizes for kids and adults with new adjustable ear loops for Max Compass, and because you should cover your face and not your personality they come in tons of Princeton. Patterns from tied to Cammo even cute critters five packs or twelve fifty and ten packs just twenty five bucks at your local old navy or old navy dot com see old navy dot com details. Season Queen. Own. Not afraid to be. Court. Welcome to. Sister friend I have my friend and amazing odd castor in mom and wife end just amazing incredible human being in Spirit Caroline Hobby here with me I rely I having. I'm so happy you're here. Thank you for taking the time to. Grace the podcasters with your beautiful inspiration and your beautiful spirit and I'm so happy to see your face I. Know It's been way too long. I'm so happy that you moved to Florida and you're loving life there but it does make it. Sad because I. Don't get to see you as much and we we loved to manifest together which I. Just you have such a great spirit of believing and getting vibration high so that You can actually manifest your dreams and I. Always really appreciated that about our friendship I do appreciate that about our friendship. Thank you too I like for the People Listening Carolina and I have been friends since college and we was went to Belmont and we were closed in college actually and kind of just journey of life of being a national just became a lot closer in really just became a line spiritually yes and yeah, we both. Loved talking about the the larger. Ideas of God and lives, and by ration- manifestation Creir all of it, and it was always really fun talking to somebody that really would just like go there with you i. totally agree because there are so many people who are definitely spiritual who have faith and all that but it's a little bit different when you are talking about aligning with your vibrate. And how what you think becomes what you actually experience in your life and how you and I are on that same level of. The Higher Force, the universe, all of that, and some people are like. You crazy. But you and I are always like Oh my God. Yes. Yes. And this. As. Well, and I love that shoe because I think you know growing up in. The, Church which I know you've talked a lot about how your mom is very open and I love I. Adore your mom she. Is Amazing she is but she's open to ideas and she's open to conversations around it and questioning things and is more like the you know creative side of know just you're you're raising and then your dad was very you know just dependable their leader. And I'm like I'm not putting words in your mouth. No, you nailed it. But You know the way we grew up I feel like it's very similar in that. It's it was very southern. Around a lot of religion and Not, necessarily in our immediate family, just in the Bible Belt and Yes Georgia and all that but you have always been so explorative in that's where you've been so willing to question. What has been taught to you what has been told to you. As have I and so I think that makes it so easy for us to line because a lot of people don't like it when people question. Yes. So true that is so true. Yeah and I think it's such a great quality about because you're you're a seeker. Will I probably feel I'm sure we feel the same and if something doesn't make sense to me, I can't get to the root of why I'm supposed to believe something. That's not a good enough answer for me like I need to know I needed it to match in my heart I need to feel aligned with my belief and I can't just take a belief I. think there are so many great things about. But I can't just accept everything that someone tells me and not believe it with my own soul. So I think that is why I am so curious and is why I Also like for me. I have a I. CAn't exclude like I feel like sometimes people who are very strong in their religion. It excludes a lot of people at hates a lot of people and I don't I don't align with that at all, and so I've had to go on my own journey to figure out what my faith is and how I fit into the spectrum of all of that and you know I encourage everyone to do that because my I feel like my life has gotten so much more full of God in the higher power once I actually felt like I had a real relationship, not something that was told to me. Yeah It's like uncovering and I think we've both done that really uncover a lot of what we were taught question to and men are still evolving and growing on a journey of piecing together. Yes and like seeing what? It all means for us because I. so aligned with that inclusivity and just allowing everyone to be on their own journey of finding their own peace in their own truth and I know it's true for me and I know what my truth should be but that isn't everybody's choice you know and so giving people that right? Yeah. Giving people that space to beyond their own. Journey and not I feel like religion. A lot of times really wants to tell people what they should be offered them in a box or it's a projection of my own judgments on myself. Right in these walls that built in my own heart and mind, and then I might know you have to have these boxes on your heart mind to where you have to have this certain. Belief system and that's just not the case you know. In a lot of religion and I feel like the journey that we're both really honest finding that. What we really believed to be true that is inclusive that. That comes from A. Really just love I was GonNa say the same thing Sarah I feel. I feel like. All intentions are so good with so many organized things like you know it starts off to be so good and helpful and to keep people safe in to give you guidelines to living a happy healthy life and it all starts off so good but I feel like we're it gets lost is where the message of love gets lost and that gets mixed in with people's own people's ideas and everyone's own ideas of how you have to be this certain way and look at the world everyone is there are so many different ways to live your life. There's so many different types of people and styles of. Just like a just lifestyle and. I I just think it would be silly to think that there's only one walks in way to get to God or this higher power as long as love is your motivating factor. Then why would I wanted to find it anymore pass that for anyone else like whatever brings love and true love into anyone's life like that is your way that is how you know your path and I don't think anyone can tell you what that is it has to be your own discovery. I. So agree one thousand percent with that and I think it's so important as people. Find their you know their trees that we. Allow people to do that. You know and keep that allow let let people lead their life and love how they want you now in fine left how they want do you know Richard Rohr have you heard of? My mom and an Amanda Factor, he's married to bill Saturday two thousand horses. End We went to a of his years ago. I think it was Santa Fe or cookie and. A four day conference and it was amazing talking about shadow self enlightened self all of it was awesome. I have known some of his work but just discovering universal Christ's tell me about it. Oh my gosh. Carolina you would love it. It's it's just this idea and it goes back and looks at different scriptures. do not take away from the amazing teaching that Jesus gave us about about love in about non judgment and about acceptance and about how we are truly the light of the world, right like we are. The light of God in this world, the light of love in this world, and it talks about how we put so much emphasis on this idea that Jesus is is savior but it kind of refrains it to where Jesus came to teach what love is in how how you could live unified with with Christ with God. So with like with the source with Creator and so it's just this it's a shift in. Of Light. Releasing the holy and the God in in everyone like this conversation like I know that when you and I come together and we have conversations about spirituality that God exists here right that s thought is I just got chills but like the spirit of God is in this conversation, the spirit of God exists in the homeless man you know asking for a quarter or if the person that you know deepen addiction and can't get out like. A God exists and all that. Maybe he's not in his full form in his glory at that moment, but there is got in all of that. I, agree with that and I feel the same I. believe that every single person who comes to this earth comes. As God was within them. They come and they have their own experience they come they're born into. We're all born into different circumstances. We all have different obstacles overcome, but I believe God is in every ounce the journey with everyone and. The, I've been struggling so much with the suffering of the world like and you know it's like there's so much hate going on right now and there's so much. There's so much division and it's just feel so like there's so much suffering that's being exposed. I struggle so much with that but I have to believe that God is in the suffering because and also owner give a shout my friend Lanny crowder she started a new virtual Bible study life in the week they'll make sure you check that on instagram she does a five minute virtual Bible study every Wednesday and she is talking about how you can find abundance in every season of life. And how plowing the fields in all this like there's so much pain that goes into harvest the harvest, which in life is like I feel like we all want to get to the harvest, which is the shiny beautiful spot that we think would give your happiness but to get to the harvest of your life, you have to go through all this plowing and. Rains like obstacles come in that ruin your crop and you have to start over again and it's like I believe that God is in the suffering and it's a part of getting to the harvest and I. think that's just what this life is i. think that suffering and Suffering abundance are it's not like what? You don't have to hate the suffering and I I feel like I. oftentimes just hate that people have to suffer the I have the suffer that they're suffering but. When you look back on every religious teaching, our every. Movement that getting to higher power, there's always suffering involved. We can't. It's not not here. So we might as well embrace that God is in the suffering as well, and there is something coming from it that will be greater and wouldn't have been able to happen if the suffering would have been made known if that makes sense. Yeah absolutely I think that that is really one of the keys to. Allowing it to shape it into something. New is the recognition in the suffering that God is doing something bigger. Yes. Trust and I think that that that is what life is about and I I don't think that we have to suffer I don't think that we have to go through challenging things to learn grow evolve but I think that out of suffering we either have the choice to evolve or to not. You know we have the. You shift our mindset to a mindset of abundance am compass, and. Understanding and trusting that God is doing something bigger through it all. Yes. And that's a that's a very hard. Awareness to have especially when you're in the midst of it, you know, and especially, if you don't already have this kind of mindset that you and I evolved into, we've really evolved into believing this. Now when I'm in the midst of like a season that is not ideal or that's hard I still have to like work hard to remind myself that this is for. The greater good of myself and whoever I'm impacting because I have to you have to remind yourself when you're in those seasons that you will rise and you will be more expanded and more aware and more able to impact in a powerful way because you have learned from this season of suffering but it's hard when you're in the middle of it, 'cause it's it's awful. No one likes it. It's terrible when you're there. I remember a quote that I took away from on sites which he? Always talking about onsite but I love on. We do The, first time I went, it was really kind of the catalyst that on was a catalyst that really kind of helped me begin a journey of self discovery self healing and love choosing love perception of love and. A quote that I took away was your own personal healing is the greatest message of hope for others. By media camera and so when you said, you know you have to trust that God is that you will rise that even though it is painful that you will rise end impact that she'll be able to make in the healing that you'll be able to bring to the world around you through love and through your own triumph through your own rising from the ashes is why you need to do it. You know is like my my own healing is like the greatest message that the world can do it too. Yes, you know, and so it's just like that's what we rise. That's why we continue to trust God is working together for good for ourselves plan for just all of humanity. I love that because we need inspiration and. Truly. I couldn't agree with you more that seeing someone else overcome something and then have a beautiful existence in a life and no longer hanging onto hate or pain remembering in your. Life gone through but not holding onto it with bitterness or anger. I. Think a such a such a sign of God working in that person in what a gift of hope to the world. Absolutely I mean. The greatest message, Pope I feel. Like wow I can get through this I. Know I looked at other people during suffering times like they did it I could do it. Yes. Yes So you said, something a second ago It kind of made me think about something already wanted to talk about. But you said you feel like as babies come into the world that they have the knowing of God and they have God you know within that. So you just had a sweet baby a year ago. Yet how is has been a year that's crazy. I know sunny is your sweet girl and how have you? Seen God's. Love in manifestation in her in your life tearing up about it but I think. A first of its made me check myself and everything that I'm doing because. She is so pure and she is so. Curious and she is so She's just so. She's love. You know what she puts out in the world is just her absolute truth. It's not she is not filtered by experiences that have like wrecked or hurt her soul or she she's just. So she still such a blank canvas, a- purity and her in her true self is really shining all the time because that's all she knows how to be right now she hasn't had the world teller how she needs to be. She hasn't had all these other influences, tell her how she needs to be, and so for me as her mom and for someone who has been on a spiritual journey for so long I want. Her to have an environment where she Can stay truly herself as long as she can if not forever and know that yes, there's going to be. The world impacting you. But I just want her to feel. Grounded in the she came here as herself like she cho- I. Believe she chose this life in this existence in her purpose is her purpose no one else is. It so important for me to help her uncover that and for her to genuinely. Experienced what she came here to experience in genuinely become who she came here to be because we all have unique a unique. Gifts a unique drive in a unique. Feeling of what we wanted to express in the world and what we want to how we're going to impact the world what we're drawn to, and what makes us curious than where we feel like we thrive him I did always her to feel so grounded and so confident that what she's interested in what her gifts are, who she is is who she should always be, and so I just put a new level of responsibility on me to check myself and to be very intentional about. What I? Okay with because before she came around, I was kind of okay with a lot of stuff like I didn't really. Filter still to the world's everywhere. But like I don't know, I dislike much more intentional about how I present myself how I. What I choose to let take hold me focus on because I just don't want. I. Don't WanNA I don't WanNa how you rub off on her of course stuff is GonNa rub off on her she you know there's a child their parents don't get it right all the time you know. There's GonNa be stuff I do that. Is, not great for her for whatever reason even try my best but I just want to very best to keep her experience as. True to herself as it can be, and so that involves me checking myself and making sure I'm not bringing in rummage because I'm letting step affect me that isn't keeping me at my highest self because I need to say my higher self so I can help keep her her the soil for her life good and ripe. It's Carolina Hobby here. Do you know what the great thing about podcast are there physically distance and you know what else is fun and great for physical distancing old navy's facemask for the family they're soft washable, breathable mask made from three layers of one hundred percent cotton and designed according to the CDC's recommendations for non-medical facemask. There are available in sizes for you and the Kiddos since we're wearing them a lot right? We need a lot old navy. made it easy because they come in multi packs and are just twelve fifty for five pack and twenty five bucks per ten pack Oh and since you Should, cover your face and not your personality old navy's non-medical face coming a ton of new Princeton patterns from tie-dyed to Cammo and even cute critters. They're available with new adjustable ear loops for Max companies to head into your local old navy or shop on old navy dot com see old navy dot com for details. Let's imagine a world where no one ever cuts corners. Potato chip banks are filled to the top where they confront of you at the stoplight notices when it turns green will a place like this exists where squared pizzas are placed in the square boxes and wings come in jumbo sides. We're talking about Ledo pizza with an all new online ordering website for easy ordering Lido pizzas. Square because Ledo pizza never cuts corners, check it out at LEDO PIZZA DOT com. I love that everything you just said is everything that you would want parents to understand. You know I think a lot of times and being apparent just being kind of a witness. I see a lot of parents that have kids to fit into what they want out of their life and you know the perfect pictures or just whatever. There's so many different. Avenues to go down in that in that room. But I think when you see a parent that really understand that this is a unique individual that's a gift from God. I as appearance Em not supposed to tell this person who they should be I'm supposed to cultivate US face to allow them to be who who they WANNA be. Yes. That's exactly how I feel like I do sonny whereas her diverse most of the time I don't have cute outfits I don't know how to put her on Bose. It is so rare that she's in a coordinated outfit or like a picture perfect experience. But like that is actually the opposite of what I want for. Sunny. I want her to wake up with the wonder that she has into wake up feeling curious for who she is in like let's discover that every day and how can I help you discover that because you are so important child you are so bright you are you're going to impact say that's fewer every night before I go to bed I might bless. This child you're worthy your whole. You have a purpose. You came here to bless this world. You are shining such a light on this world kindness your everything good. In this world you're talented and your -clusive you're loving and so I just want to nurture that so much. So she doesn't have to go through twenty years of therapy to finally get to canvas where she can like become who she wants to be because. She's overcoming all of this shit that she had. You know that was piled her I want to try to keep her canvas as clean as possible. So she can just be her bright light and of course, I mean that's wishful thinking I know we live in a fallen world and so stuff is going to happen but that is my goal every day that is how I wake up and try to parent her and so. I'm a things will happen and I'm you know you can't you can't protect your child from everything but that is how I wake up every day with maintenance for her because I just want her to shine as bright as she can live the life that she wants to live. Your Mama. Emotional, it makes me emotional because it's such a responsibility and I just I just wanted to. I just wanted to have the best shot you know. So tell me what inspired you to start this podcast in what your hope is for the podcast and I. Think it's amazing. You're doing three a week. I was like my God you're a Rockstar. Awesome well, you know my intention. With by cast is to just spread more lie love in the world to be a cheerleader for the people that need a little cheerleading to be a message of hope. And share whatever tools I have you know I know we all know no one's perfect. I'm the furthest from `perfect that as you know anybody but I have been through some challenging things in my life and overcome some challenging things in my life and continue to choose allies That is to the paradigm of love and that has lived to paradigm of love and. Acceptance Non, judgment, and inclusivity. And like I said I'm not perfect. But I do know that there are certain tools and teachers that have got me to where I am today to be able to make those shifts when I do Jews fear when I do. villains of fear or separation or judgment just to get back to that place of love. So essentially, just sharing all of that and having important meaningful conversations with other women that are in the community and women that has insightful. Inspiring. Thanks to say. So I mean, we've talked about doing me doing podcasts for a long time and It's been some been on my heart and finally felt why was at a place that I was really ready to make the leap and Do it a lot of imposter syndrome rich. Doesn't. Yeah. Just feeling like Hewish she like, right? Yeah. Why do I think people should listen to me like what? You something Sarah who has I don't know who said this I always have so many conversations swirling in my head, but somebody said. If you're putting out positive things especially into the cyberworld new are absolutely the farthest thing impostor and you are doing a service to the cyberworld because of with all the darkness we need light we need people who are putting light out there we need it. We need to act that darkness with light and turn it into a place. That is a good. Goodness to offer that does encourage and inspire people that leaves people feeling better about them light. Their lives are feeling like they're not hopeless or feeling like they can overcome whatever dark spot they're in, and even if it's just one person truly everyone always says that. Just, one person thank God. You're able to impact that one person important. Yeah. I, totally totally agree and that's been the main driving force for me. It's like it you you know who cares what people are going to have something as about everything that you do. Is Long as you're putting out. With. Loving intention stuff that will help people give hope to give white people give wiped to do people in empower people to then go and be the lights and yet hope in the love and so then you're not, I'm not only putting out there creating we're creating an army of light, an Army of love and like that's really what I see is the thing and I'm. Like okay, I don't have time to be sitting here like, no no bitch about what was made like there's work to be done. You know there's there's some there's the world needs this show desperately they just need every day all the love you know all about the world the world needs people who are passionate about spreading light to spread that light and you're one of those people. I am one of those people it is a passion of mine. I don't WanNa spread light because I want ever and be like Oh my God look at that person she's so awesome. Yeah. I mean it's great when you're recognizing people give you attention like everyone loves that but like the true work that I'm doing that you're doing is so other people can take their candle. That's not lit and grab a little bit of the flame that you're putting out there in life their own, and then they can go take their candle and they can spread that to the people that they're around, and we all have to band together to put this light out. There is especially on social media and forces like this because it we've got to get the light spreading. The light will always overcome the darkness, but we all have to do our part to keep that light going. I am so thankful that you're doing this while. Thank you. I'm so thankful that you're giving me distance in perspective because I love it. while. It's necessary. Especially right now I don't know why I feel. I am I'm tired I've did a post about this maybe yesterday or the day before it's like be a good person, but don't spend your life trying to prove it I. AM so tired of trying to prove that my intentions are good and I want everyone to like me and that everything I'm doing is for the higher power screw that it is everything doing is truly because I feel called to do it but I'm so tired of making sure that everyone knows that and everyone's approval on what I'm doing and that it's fine and like I don't want anyone's toes or don't want to get it wrong or. I'm never trying to do something to hurt someone I'm only always trying to put a good message out there I'm like point like I'm really starting to get unapologetic about it. I'm so tired of feeling worried about upsetting someone or getting it wrong or someone having something bad to say about me I know line tensions they are so good an however if someone doesn't pay eight. Really nominee I and I'm not saying if I make a mistake I won't apologize incorrect if are truly like dismissed wires were crossed you know. Besides that. When it comes to spreading good messages and having conversations that are meaningful. I'm unapologetic about it. Now, I just don't I don't care I. Don't want to let fear, stop me from putting out stuff that needs to be heard to encourage people to live a life that gives them joy and love and happiness. I totally agree and I'm tired of apologizing for those larger things in even smaller things I was on instagram the other day and I posted something in a spelled a word wrong or did the wrong form of the word and I like what realized that I did it nobody said anything shockingly and and? I felt the need to like reposted it with it crossed out and re spelled and eight. Ended up doing an instagram story and I'm like, why are we constantly like like and I realized that it routed down in and kind of shared this on my story to but it was rooted in me feeling not wanting to stupid like some point in my life somebody had been like you're an idiot, you're stupid or whatever, and so every time I, misspell a word I'm thinking like a Hobo thinks I'm dumb or you know I'm pretty face like I don't want people to think that I don't know how to like. Smell or what you know what I mean just not smart or that you're not you're not more. Yes. So I'm apologizing for it and I'm like, no. I need to go back to the root of this thought in in and change the that. Chats route rather than trying to go in like mask like sorry I misspelled as I should give a damn if I'm his fellow word. On a like a major gre- occupant. I agree and. I think that that is, is we all feel like we have to be perfect in that and because of social media and because of this larger web of people that were connected to now. It's like we're actually comparing ourselves and we think oh. My God that person has altogether there. So perfect I can't keep up so I needed to try to at least make it look like keeping up on my instagram and my social media and I know we're humans. It's never going to be perfect and I'm actually to the point now where it's like I'm I'm really trying to get comfortable to post things that make me uncomfortable because I don't want to. Be another spot that looks so buttoned up in perfect in unattainable like I hate that because that's not real. That's not who I am and that doesn't make anyone feel good about themselves. The full picture of human it's not all buttoned up imperfect in we are GonNa have typos we are GonNa do things that people don't agree with, but that's just be human you know and so it's like we have to share that part to or else people are gonNA feel. Unworthy or there's that there is this level of perfection that is real and it's not real with anyone. No matter who people are falling are looking up to it is not real with anyone everyone struggles everyone messes up, everyone doesn't get it right? No one's perfect and I think that we've gotTA share that part. Yeah I so agree. When you in all this'll be the last question but I wanted to just give I always loved the idea of taking whatever tools or whatever ideas he. Anyone has to get back to to love and I know that you are all about ewing lack the Lens of love in a space of separation or you've made a mistake or someone is wronged you a cow, what are some tools or what is your way to shift back to get your mind and your heart's doing life through the Lens of love. I am so in tune with my gut, if that makes sense. If something goes wrong in my gut I've I can. Definitely. I do not let that go by like if I have a sick feeling or if something is causing me. disruption peace and love and my body I have to analyze where is it coming from? Why do I feel this way like I can't just carry it around with me let it add on and add on and add on didn't push it down I have to like immediately identify it I. If I've done something on accident to upset someone, I have to immediately address. It or that person in love I have to or if there's like a bigger issue going on with like a just a world issue, I have to figure out my stance on it and sometimes that might take a while. But like I have to fully investigate why my my gut feeling is off and why I don't feel centered with God and love at that moment. So I will I will do whatever. I, am all. Conversations I will hit up some went straight up and like have the conversation. Some people don't like to have like conversations of. With Dif-, you know if you are worried about controversy or but I oh, I'm always going in with love and my intention is always the lead making that person feel seen and heard I think that's another thing you have to know that everyone's opinions of thoughts are valid and. Just agree that's fine. But like the go in assuming everyone's the bad guy go in and try to like see their perspective here them and then come up in the solution that really is the truth it's like. You just maybe missed wires and so I don't know I have to always check my gut and I have to figure out what's wrong with when my guts make me feel weird feelings I have to clear the air. So I do that and then sorry what could you ask the rest of the question I have? Remember Oh no, it's great. It's just how how do you get back to doing life through the Lens Glove like any tools or any tips in you know? A on that really and then The thing that really holds me up is like I was telling you earlier all the suffering in the world like I really get hung up on suffering and that really takes me away from love and so this is a big tip I've been doing lately especially with everything going on and It's impossible like one person. CanNot heal the world like no one has that ability. But what I can do is everything that I Feel torn up about everything that REX. My heart instead what I used to do was I used to crawl on a whole field. So depressed about all the things happening and I would I would just add sad energy to it because I would just feel so sad as well but I've really been learning instead of feeling sad I need to send so much love and so much light and send all of the healing energy that I can to whatever situation is happening this out of my control and sin all the love and then I have to blessed and let it go and then when things that come into my life that I actually can impact help and. Be a part of that fit in my world that I can actually get my hands in involved with been served there and make an effort to make an action step where you can in your own life and community. But when it's too big and you can't fix it all I just have to instead of spilling sad and depressed and hopeless I have to send all my love enlightened energy for that situation to find resolution to find light and I feel like that helps lift it up I. Mean I really do I think energies powerful. So that's my because I hate feeling depressed and sad, it's so and it doesn't it makes my light dim and I know. The biggest blessing I can do what you were saying from that quote earlier is to shine as bright as I know how because that shows other people that they can shine as well is so you gotta stay bright, but it's hard especially when you are like an impact which I I'm an impact on I'm sure you are too like I feel everything of everyone and it can really take you down. So you I ever had to figure out tools to keep my light shining even a dark world sometimes. Thank you for that Caroline, I appreciate that I definitely read. I ask You my final question yeah. Yes absolutely. Okay. So I always like to end with leave your light What do you want people to know? That viewing life through a lens of love is possible. That choosing love is possible and I live my life in a way for a very long time not really understanding what? That even men really to even see life through the Lens of love but to choose. Love over fear. In every situation has become really kind of just what would I do on a daily basis? Just talking about shifting back to that Lens of love it's. Really through meditation through prayer through a lot of teachers just. Learned that that's the way I wanna live my life. You know that being cynical and being judgmental and kind of bitchy. It's like even though it can be fun and you can try to find your people in that. You know they say like you don't have anything nice to say it comes to buy me. And like I've been that, I said, you know I I've bonded with people over negatively and I it got me nowhere but but feeling bad feeling negative and feeling separate from the world and feeling like there's not an answer that have to be separate from the world and that I have to feel this way and that's just not the truth I can simply surrender and that's the the hardest part right just getting to the point of prayer the point of like that surrender. But like I, surrender to you God and I choose to see the situation through the Lens of love. And it's getting to that point that's always the hardest. But once you get there and if you really mean that when you cry it, then God just comes in like the spirit the energy whatever it is comes in and changes at that situation and the way you view it the way you feel about it. Kind of like you giving all your your eleven like the world. It's like just allowing to come in and change the way you feel about a certain situation and help you see a differently, very, very possible to salute through the Lens of love. So. I loved what you just said I love that and I do think that is so important because so many people do bond over negatively because it's it is Kinda Fun. I've been there too where it's like, Oh man, it's kind of fun just to talk shit about this person like you don't really get a going and you have this connection with that other person 'cause you're talking bad. But really what good does that do? What good is that? Do? I think it's fine to acknowledge where you don't see eye to eye with someone. I don't really think there's ever appoint to just rip someone to shreds just make yourself feel better I've done that as well to assist like it's there's no benefit to that. It doesn't make anyone better. Definitely it might give you that quick fix of like feeling good for a second, but it does not pay out in the long run. I love that era yeah. where I am today. I. Think. It's amazing. Well, everyone listening to Ranga check out my friend Caroline Hobby on get real here line hobby. And Sarah's GonNa let me also this my podcast. So everyone listening to get real with catering Avi go check out Evans. What's your handle? These? Is it so Sarah it's so Sarah an yes. With an e with the knee. Yes, and then amen sister friend podcast is by man sister friend I love that I love that in. Yours is hairline hobby. That's where everything is just one stop shop I let off thrown in there together I'm just like a Bolt Spaghetti. I. Love You. Thank you for allowing. No. No. No. My podcast is care Oh hobbies C. A. R. O. H. O. B. B. Y. Sorry. Don't even librarians scattered I am in amount instagram handle. I can't remember all handles either are to be to keep it all in one place. The ATHOL. Exact. It's not there's no strategic planning on my part I cannot keep up with anything more. With your girl I love you care line and I love you to. Give Sunny a kiss view his for me until your sweet hobby that I said Hello I will thank you so much. I. Love this conversation it was so life giving me for. Thank you so much. I love you. This Fred. Hey all caroline hobby mix match in masks in old Navy facemask for the family, their triple layer cotton, and designed according to the CDC's recommendation for non-medical. Plus. They come in handy multi packs in sizes for kids and adults with new adjustable ear loops for Max come Venus and because you should cover your face and not your personality they come in tons of Princeton patterns from tied to Cammo. Even cute critters five packs or twelve fifty and ten packs just twenty five bucks at your local old navy or old dot com see old navy dot com for details. Nine Super Bowl appearances six super bowl championships the New England patriots Tom Brady and bill. Belichick are the greatest dynasty in NFL history I'm Gary Myers NFL sports journalists for over forty years. Join me for a new podcast the goat Tom Brady I pull back the curtain on the greatest run of sustained success by one player and one team in NFL history with never before heard interviews with Bill Belichick Bill parcells. Robert. Kraft Tom Brady senior coaches, friends family, and of course, the greatest of all time Tom Brady the margin of error is so slim and there was a couple of plays in each of those games that if it goes our way we win. And that's that's the way it works, and that's why it's hard to. The Goat Tom Brady is available now listen and follow on the iheartradio APP apple podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Kelley Baker: the brow queen behind all The Kardashians signature eyebrows, shares behind the scenes of being up close and personal with todays the biggest stars.

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

1:19:26 hr | 8 months ago

Kelley Baker: the brow queen behind all The Kardashians signature eyebrows, shares behind the scenes of being up close and personal with todays the biggest stars.

"Hey caroline hobby we celebrate. We give we mask and we holiday. Special holiday face masks for the family are now available at old navy their justifiable and made from breathable washable. Triple layer cotton according to the cdc recommendations for non-medical face masks plus they come in handy multi tax and sizes for kids and adults shop. New festive plaid's fair aisles. Amazing prints like santa's ping ones bears and more make fantastic stocking stuffers see old navy dot com for details introducing built to last a new podcast by american express. I'm elaine well trough. And i'm excited to host the debut season where we will be deep diving into the stories history and continued legacy of small businesses that shape american culture through these important conversations will hear the black business leaders of our pass have inspired. Today's black owned small businesses and communities. Join us for the debut season of built to last on spotify apple youtube. Or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Laugh in just this. This is a big thrill for me to have the world renown famous kelly baker on my show. If you've seen any famous person in l. a. And even morris in nashville tennessee. But everyone from every single kardashian choosing dea to arianna grande day to bb rexha to the list goes on and on everyone who is completely fabulous in gorgeous. Uses you for their browse. What's a lane you've created for yourself to be first off to be the the go to girl for the kardashians. I mean you have to be the best in the world if they have chosen you. How did you get in to being the brow. master his. you're you're you actually gave me chills. It's weird but don't know i don't really think about it that much but Yeah it's actually pretty cool to be honest not gonna. Why going to all these people's houses and you know it's it is really cool. I've been doing celebrity since day. One just being in the you know. I would say the right right place at the right time but also now. I don't want to say luck at all working hard and and being determined You know. I never really Watched a whole lot of reality reality. Tv of course i knew who The crowd actions were But you know other than that North and you know. But i still said i said one damn to kadarshian goals celebrities. So you're a man. One hundred percent. Yep in eight sad because a lot of people i actually don't even know i don't even know who some of them are before i go to do them Even in the younger generation of tiktok had no clue who addison. Rae was i i. I know this is going to be horrible. Because you're from nashville. But i didn't even know who marianne morris was. Yeah the queen. She's the queen it and now he's ethic awesome and after really listen to country music. So why would i know you know. And i don't. Tv is different. like back. in the day i would watch. Mtv much music video so then. Of course i would know who she is but you don't do that anymore. You know what i mean. I've heard her name. But i don't know who she is what she sang. And then you know of course. I looked her up. And then you know. I'm not starstruck. 'cause i don't know her you know and then now i listened her all the time and mike. She's so good you know. And there was a guy that a new country music so popular. I grew up listening to like old school country. My dad had a ranch horses but it was different. You know the now. It's so like mainstream and this guy was. I told him. I'm going to scroll morris he's like you bitch like i don't even know who she is but what you know not mad at it. I'm happy so so how did you get in the car dash chance because that to me is like that is the holy grail of beauty. Like if you want to have the best makeup the best hair the best brow the best lips best closed the best bodies the best latte the best lavish amazing like beautiful Just top of the top lifestyle. That is dicara card dashes. So how did you get in with them in. Please tell me as much as you can about what. It's like walking into their houses. Because i would love to know so through her. Make up artist Patrick talk Who's amazing and i had been doing projects browse for. He was i. You cut out a little bit. Who did you meet i. I saw a Courtney was my first kardashian. And it's probably been at least four years to be honest which even crazier But patrick talk. Who's a huge makeup artist I met him when he moves spell. Lay you know our because social media and instagram. You see people's work. I invited him in and he was like. Hey can you come to courtney you know and a lot of times that i get referrals from makeup artist. Because they know edits changed a little bit because now browns become so popular a lot of parts. Kinda fill the men now right. So that kinda sucks but they still can't shape them like i can shape that that's my talent. You know what. I mean so Patrick asked me to come do her browse too. So you know they were easier for him to fill in And that was it. So i did courtney i and then i started doing khloe and then i did kim once and i was like. Oh my god. I'm gonna go is crazy. But the first time i actually had met kim was to do khloe And of course they make you send sign. Nda's an all of these things are cool with being on the show. When i was like sure. Whatever and I met kim because i was going to go to chloe chloe's browse at kim's house. So i met kim because i was gonna do khloe and i did. Kim It was to say it was two years ago for halloween. And i usually don't post someone if i have only done them like once a wanna be like i'm weird like that. I want to know that. I'm their person. You know what. I mean so It was when she was selena It was year. It was tears michigan. Selena i wanna say Was there. I know courting was michael jackson. She was maybe madonna. I don't remember who she was with her. But they always cool costumes together. And then i hadn't seen in over a year. And i was like damn only got our do once and then the back and then i do came all the time I remember last year for christmas. Ursus assistant asking me what shoe size i was and i was like eight and a half there so nice they get you gifts like she gave me easy. I about died Courtney is giving me christmas gifts. Khloe is giving me christmas gifts. I don't really. I think you know kylie was the last one of the group And she actually lives the closest to me which is awesome. I can get their time and her house is just stunning. Like to die. Like you can't even But one of my favorites. I mean i all i love all of them but i love scott scott. Scott scott the shit. He's the best. he's just back in goal. he's getting and one day had come over. I don't know what it is. But i just feel like i have some kind of like the cool natural connection with him. You know and like you feel like you have everybody. I don't know but his view of his backyard is just amazing. And i was like. Oh my god scott. I think 'cause. I talked to him like a normal person. You know like oh my god that this view right now on your pool and the and the sun is it's so pretty he's like i haven't shown it to you before i go. No is a come here. Let me show you around. Mike talking love you like. He's a school you know. He's this fun so it's nice to be in that environment. Where like you know a really. I was scared obviously toward them as in in most people. I'm always nervous But they're nice. They're nice goal. You know they work hard. They bust their asses and they aren't where they are for a reason. And it's actually inspiring to me. And i feel privileged to be able to tell people these things and if anyone ever says anything negative. I'm the first one that will stick up for much funny. I'm mike now. You can't say that about kim. You can't say that about chloe. 'cause you don't know you guys are just making sure up you know. I don't know their whole is. Obviously but i know what i see in our good people and they do give back in their kind. So you know. Let them do whatever they won't you know law ethics. I totally agree. I mean they wake up and go to work every day and they're producing something that five. Am you said what at five am. Yeah it's like people are like oh they don't do anything they're just. Kardashians are paid to themselves or whatever but honestly they're waking up there creating content. They're selling products that they love and believe in their sharing their lives. They're sharing tips. They're sharing adventures are giving us entertainment. And it's a lot of energy to document all that and put all that out into staying in such great shape. Oh my god. I mean to say so beautiful in such great shape when you have all these kids. That is so hard. I can't even do one. You know as cool. Yeah no totally. Obviously they have helped but they still do it. Yanni union one and they're complementary like i mean i think want not. I don't know if it was the last time. In the time. Before i saw kim i left knows like i just love her but she's just so nice and she. She made me feel good about myself. You know not on purpose so wasn't trying to like say anything. On purpose nick mayfield fielded mike. I just like her. You know and i remember action. One of the first times i did go. was onset I'm obviously not going to say who was around. But it was a different group of people on set and i felt super uncomfortable and it was one of the first times that i was in that situation with with different makeup artists and hairstylists set people. I felt like shit and they may feel really Against it was anyone's fault per se but I left crying and was like. I don't know if i want to do this. You know and i remember calling my best friend. One of my best friend and she was like kelly. You said he wanted to do celebrities so you need to think about that and you know it wasn't that you know it was other people that were around them. You know what i mean. And and it's it's never been like that ever since. And i also to had to toughen up and realized like i don't care what that person or that person thinks of me because close booking me you know what i mean and i may be the new girl in your click but i'm here to this. I was invited to the table. I was invited to this to this setting Coming kelly you're playing in the biggest leagues you can play in. I mean that's super intimidating. Obviously you have who talent and the skill set to be in those rooms with those clients but that doesn't mean that it's not so intimidating because not only are they just a person that you wanna do a great job on their person that the whole world sees their person that the whole world judging every single thing they do including your eyebrows you know and so it's like you. Luckily we only hear positive things. Thank got. That's what i'm saying but i mean what rector for everyone involved because it. I'm not saying everyone of your clients don't matter but that matters on such a huge level because it's so global you know it truly is global and it is it. I mean you don't get much higher than the kardashians on the totem pole of celebrity. Truly and i've done you know. And i still get new people every day. And it's just it's just cool and i'm in experiences. I'm around so many different things that people aren't exposed to you. Know unlike even you know kardashians like you know people can say what they want but the studying crtv. Tv is real. And it's super sad. And there's mohan's for i feel for us the civic sister and have been there around khloe or whoever and i'm a mom and your woven and you're like in again i don't watch the show but you hear you see things or i've actually been around. Things have happened than you're like dishes crazy. You know and like it's not it's not for tv it's real life that's being captured on film in the moment you don't want that's what i think has happened with the kardashians because so many reality shows when they are getting going you know everything's kind of staged and everything sort of figured out. What are you gonna fill. What do i think now. The credit card ashes. It feels like they've been going for so they just let it roll structured. What they film but they just let the horror role and they are willing to share every grop them. I mean that is a lot to share on at all of that out there in just have everyone know everything. I mean a lot. It also also gives me respect for them to as a family and how tight if they are at. It's really cool to see. 'cause i mean they really are sisters. They really are family unanimous. Not this fake group like they agree thing together. And i'm like. I wish i had that you know. Not just the kardashian part of it but just like a brother sister and my mom close by to where we could do all these things together. It's really cool. That they are blessed to have that even lifestyle you know and they found the frigging kids. My dog is a million of them that they figured out a way. They're so hands on empire too busy. Yeah in their building at other as a family which is amazing. Who doesn't end. They've all risen like usually. I feel like with stainless families. Whatever it's always like there's always some problem or someone with all the females in the kardashian crew who've all they've already into the top in there in even rob like he created a sock company and all of that and like you know they've all in a scott in his own way like he's found his way and then currently ordering right. Before i got on with you i was ordering online some talentless stuff for christmas. Like dot something you know. All figuring out outweighed buying their own success within their group success which is really phenomenal. Honestly i want to know what learned from being in the inner clique with all of these celebrities like i mentioned from the kardashians to day at two cardi b. to amid obviously like you're going into these homes with these people they're letting you into their intimate moments. You're seeing their live unfiltered. You're part of making them into the celebrity that we see on tv. You're part of that transformation. So you see them in the raw real form. What have you learned about these top of the top celebrities in these intimate moments in in their homes. What have you learned about them as people and just like what we think about larry's versus what it really is. I mean i. I know this firsthand. Everyone who's house that i've gone to or wherever it is that i'm doing them. They're always literally in the mix of working. I mean it's twenty four seven you know and if we think we got a lack on its multiplied by a hundred you know so that again to inspiring because you know like i mean even cardi for like the met gala or whatever or wherever i've gone to do her and i don't even do ernie more. I actually passed her by choice to someone else. Because her makeup artist wanted her to get her brows laminated. And i was like. I don't do that so i was like okay. Who gonna send you know. And happily sent another person down to her and he gets doing her now. And i'm okay with that. You know what i mean like. It's he and now. He's getting articles and cool things written about him. And you know what's so be it. I don't need to do cardi forever. I did for the mac gala. And i was the first one to do cardio browse. I'm happy with that. The mikailah alone. Oh my god like fucking the coolest thing ever you know like the met gala or how do you prepare cardi b. for the met gala. What it it was. It was one of the coolest experiences I booked booked me. They'd kana kana. Gave me an idea of the concept not really like but they freaked me out because they were telling me that like the her. Everything's gonna be covered. So i don't know it was the one i was wearing the red so she had a gesture face outright so i didn't see pictures but there were like talking about her. Is mike all of these things. I'm thinking am. I going to have to like special effects draw on browse. Like what are we doing like freaking. How a mike gotha songs like yourself out you know. You're you're scared you know this. Is everyone in. The world is going to see. This is it's huge and actually flew to new york to be there to do to do it. I'm in her room with her manicurist and her hair people and her friends and her stylist and you know the whole shebang and you know with cardi and it was just such a crazy experience to like you know. I can't help myself. But if i have an opinion and i think it's beneficial. Some autumn gonna probably speak on it which you know. Maybe sometimes you shouldn't but there are certain things that like it. I can see that are like putting her head piece on or different things. Mike abyss piece needs to be fixed. Like i can't help but be like in this show because this part not attached to here. And i'm just joe schmo. No one knows me. You know what i mean but it's something like there's always like something a little piece you don't realize like oh shit how it gonna fix that. We didn't realize that didn't back right or one. Time with even kris jenner. Like i was doing courtney's brown and chris came in and i think they were doing actually there. It's it's funny to think about this. Because i laugh at myself the things that i say. 'cause so chris watson were onset is either onset for a shoot or at their house or something and she comes with one of her outfits on to. What do you think court. What do you think about this outfit. And it was for their cover of their kardashian near like you know promo that's gonna be on tv and was like good you know and i don't remember what was a silk suit or something and i was like it. Looks great like i wanted to share. My opinion should looks great. You know. And i'm like it. Looks great that like that blazer or whatever it was was like it looks really good on you and she kind of looks at me like cool. Thanks mike okay. And she walked out and she came in with her second outfit on said. What do you think about this one and she looked at me for like and what you think and i was like you look amazing and i was like she liked that. You know what i mean so you just kind of never know like a you know like i again. I feel like that was beneficial. I'm trying to say you look great. Not that one it you know. I'm not gonna talk about your personal life and given opinion on any of that stuff. But like i want you to look good to yet you know yes. You're here so look good process. And even when they were doing cardi you know so they pull thing went over her head. And i had already waxed to browse filled in her brows. There all perfect and now they're putting effing head peace over her head and then i'm going to take it back off because the so at once it's hard to see if it fits and i'm like oh my god so i was literally there with them for probably eight hours which i've never done right. I'm in the whole process of it. And i go once it's on i'm gonna need do her rows because you've just mushed them three times an hour make it's getting done and the things rubbed like it's so tight to her face like i'm staying. You know i'm staying till the girl leaves out the door and is on her way to the red carpet. You know. that's what an ear for. That's what i'm paid for. So you know it was super cool was really really really really really cool to watch all of it so what it has been fun intimate moments like that like okay so we see cardi b. all the pictures at the met. We see all the articles in the news flashes and all that. Uc the eight hour process to get her ready for that. You see the personalities coming out in stress situations where you have to figure things out on the fly. Were things have to be perfect but now you have all these moving pieces that you put together in thanks shift and you have to readjusting. Such a creative process was so much steak you know so much at stake because it matters so much. So what is it. Like to be in that to be in. Like in the middle of the arena. And just in it like do you. What is your india. What are you go to a to be honest. I'm used to it like it's normal for me as it's normal for them like only the salon. I'm putting out a fire every single day. The computer lines are down. Internet's down the. Something's not working the so and so's sick like it is a constant figure out situation. What are we going to do with this. And there's always something to do with it. You just have to say what you're doing. So i i'm used to it. I'm used to the crazy hours. Obviously there's even more. I'm exhausted. When i do a tour and i do a show and i teach a class so i feel for them. If anything you know might east people they must be. I don't know i remember one time. Khloe like how do you like travel to another country and then come back and start over like faulk. Need like i'm tired. You know in e. I think you just Become you acclimate to your lifestyle. And like if you're a new person who has not been at atmosphere you one hundred percent be freaked out and osha like scared you know. There's a lot that goes on. My best friend's mom is a publicist. And this is one of the funniest stories we talked about it the other day she represents men won for best friends. Is dan ackroyd She represented jeremy renner Walking phoenix josh. part net. Like all cool men right and when we went to ge- junior high school with her and she's still best friend so in her mom's always been a fabulous Publicists right so one of my first jobs was working at her offense. And i don. I quit in one day. One day i lasted one. Damn i am outta here too. Well i just. I answered the phone. Just a reductionist. An after called in. I had no idea who it was. I didn't know how to pronounce his name. He said it three times. And i still didn't know who it was and he's like get on the phone and i'm like i'm out of here like you've gotta definitely be ready to be in that environment for sure you know yes yes. Yeah 'cause it's like you said On the set your on you when you when you got your feelings hurt in you wanted to like dean of your made for you do have to like just have skin that thick skin and realize that you have the talent that you're meant to be there in no the process because it's a lot of i feel you on that i've definitely done a lot of like not on any kind of level like the card actions but been with a lot of country music. Celebrities worked a lot of countries. Clarity's done a lot of reality. Tv in the national world. And it's like it's such a fast paced life in it so many moving pieces and you really can't take a lot of personal because people are just on have so do you know. But it's hard not to take a. It's totally hard not to take steph personnel to like. I remember one time being on set with arm won't say who and bam topping about a hairstyle that they didn't like and i was like that's my hairstyle today. You what i mean and obviously it wasn't them talking about me but i was like how rude air off ahead right now. That is what the planes low like i. It's like saying they color red when the person next to you heads toe read like am i. Can't i was obviously bothered like ill. But now i disliked at it but like they're not talking about me but still you still think it's insulting. You know what i mean but it is what it is it is again. It's don about them talking about hair. It's about me doing my job and going so so water tips that you would tell a young entrepreneur who has big dreams like you. Did you said you wanted to do celebrities. You want to kardashian. You had these goals and you build it from the ground up. What would you tell someone who has the same dreams as you but has no idea how to get going like. What are the key steps to making your dream into reality in your opinion It really is. I mean i think with anything that you can think of if a musician if it's a basketball player if it's makeup being a celebrity what do you do you practice. You triple the ball you get a ball you practice some play with the ball. All you play with your friends. Everything is teaching you to grow right. Celebrity take pictures try acting childish. Name goto acting classes. Like every piece of all of those things are taking you to the next step and he don't know who you're gonna meet on the way but there's someone you're gonna meet on the way and something you're gonna learn at acting class or one year dribbling Coach or whatever. It's going to take you to the next place but you've got to trust the process and no i'm working toward something and i don't know where going but i'm going with it and it's going to be there you know because i never played a eyebrows like four. Did you play anything. What make make up so you plan on a makeup in. You became expert. yup yup. How did she become ira et like how did that happen. From those naked. I went to beauty school for makeup twice. I did everything make up A wall i met a guy named mon robert who was in my beauty school. My second silent new school. Because i went back to get my license Thinking that i can to make up in beverly hills in some fancy salon but at the time he had to have a license to do make up right in a salon and he was there and he was only doing browse. This is now almost twenty years ago. And i was like who is. This guy shit's crazy Eyebrows or so has stopped. You know like what is this. And i wasn't focused on him out. I was focused on getting school. And he saw me hustling. Good everything that i could to get out of school faster. Remember no matter. What you're doing people are watching. You walk in your wonder waffen your dog one year parking your car be big polite to people will. How are you acting. You know what i mean. So i mean even in my own salon. I know i'm being watched. And sometimes i pretended my head that people don't know who i am in the sense of all the people there that come in. I can't assume they all know that it's my shop because there's different stylists right. Sometimes i just wanted to sneak in like go in the kitchen real quick but i also have to know that. Hey they might be looking at you and don't make eye contact. They're going to think your bitch clean so it it's all part of it and so demand is saw how it worked in stockhow hustled and was like a now. We had a practice leg waxing. Or whatever i was the first one to do it to get extra points and end they were like who are you gonna take really open a salon and he was already basically you know they call them the brow game. He he felt leader done madonna. He was it. Yeah and he was like i wanna take kelly and i was like so i was like okay a super quiet but i also put myself out there. I feel like even today. A lot of young people. are very entitled and don't understand what hard work is and what it takes to get places and they expect things. I parked his car but offered to park his car to mean by. Lemme grab that for you. Let me help you. Let me help decorate your salon. That part needs to be fixed better. We can make this look. Good let me help with this. June mean so he would come to me because he knew was the one that was there to help you know and you got to be the one that stands out. That's going to be like. Hey kelly career and then what he would ask to do is browse shit. I was scared. And i'd like algebra to the bathroom or a have to. I would like disappear. Because i wanted to do everything else but when it came down to actually doing the browse i was freaked. The f out browse want to. But i couldn't tell you to me. So did you finally did you do them one day. And then you started like perfecting it. Well no you taught me from the gecko. He was about to open his first long so he had you know he didn't have a staff and i was his first girl so i went at that point. He's like i want you to come work for me. Come train with me. And i went and sat next to him. His brow share all day every day. And i watched him an. I'd make an. I go with him to lunch and i'd set up the station and i like to like all those little things. Help it matter and are going to help you get further up the food chain not to sit there and watch and let them do all the work do something else say hopefully opio. You know what i mean. It's like jerry. Maguire helped me help you. You know so. I feel like that such valuable advice that you said because as a young person starting out and you see someone like you and you're like oh my god. I want to be like kelly. How do i do that but really it's a series of tiny small steps that are moving you forward along the way. You're following your intuition. You're following open doors or falling opportunities and then when you get those opportunities. You're freaking coming in hard core and you're figuring out everything you can do to maximize that opportunity which involves working hard and showing up early and staying late and like figuring out. What's needed and being that person. I mean that's really the ticket and then people realize you have talent. They realize that you're enjoyable to work with. They realize that you're disciplined and dedicated an all. Those things play a huge role into momentum. One hundred percent. And it's like you just don't end up where you end up by a fluke but yet you could have never planned this because there's so many little magical things that have to happen like you to beauty school for the second time you know. It's like why did you go back for the second time. That second time is what led you to working with damone. You know and it's like you just can't plan. I think with anything though. But i mean i think that we all have a journey and a path that we don't know where the take us and you can have a plan and we can have goals and write those things down and have an idea of what we wanna do. But obviously there's things that happened along the way that change people die you get divorced you mind cancer or whatever and and they're horrible things so it might take you to a different place and that's okay and that new place might have been the place you're supposed to be all along so you just don't know you know what i mean like i believe in manifesting i believe in working hard i believe in going for it My mom and i would not necessarily go back and forth but my mom my mom's day my mom would always be like no don't do it and i'm like yeah i'm doing it right and it might take five years to convince her but i will convince her and once i administer she's on at one hundred and fifty percent were like she keeps talking about it. I'm like okay. Shut up already. You know but like i would say like i feel like things are you know happened for a reason right which is hard because then why do people get sick people die. Why do people get knocked since you can't airway worldwide you also totally but also to like if it's not just things happen for a reason you also have to make things happen and you can't think it's gonna show up in in your lap and magically appear there you have to work for those things and and again looking online and researching you know beauty school so i decided to go to beauty school. I didn't want to go to school. And i decided to go there. I met the out. You know what i mean. And the first time i went i went just to get out of the house. Just my friends suggested it like you should go to beauty school. I was like beauty school. I i don't know how. I'd never thought of that idea but clearly that's where i'm supposed to go. You know so you know even in a game my son you know he's fourteen. He has a couple of years left of high school in his acids friend. Who took a total. You know good grades in caller. And i said. Do you know where you want to go out for after school like do you have a plan. And he's like not not sure and my son was like. I have no idea where. I'm going to go when i graduate. I said sweetheart. You don't have to go anywhere. He's like what i thought. I have to like go leaves. I know you do not actually delivered twenty-five we live your for however long you want that's up to you and you don't have to have a plan like idea you can start thinking of the things that you liked. The most people have no idea what they're going to do. And that's okay. You know what i mean. You're gonna figure it out. But for some reason he thought his head and eighteen to leave. And i'm like it's kind of more of an old school mentality. Right i left at seventeen was to get the f out of the house. Like i'm out of here. You know what i mean. Give me out. Because i had no freedom. My parents restrict. Like i get to do shit growing up again. I could play in my neighborhood. But like i didn't go to a party at a football game. None of it was my the coup. I was ready. I was ready to fly. Yeah for sure and always was that. I think it's funny because my best friend always says like you're not motivated by money. And i think to certain extent. That's true like i'm not going to do something just for the money but if i am in that situation i'm going to figure out how by let's say we have a. We had a new an event right now local. were there. let's do privates plus you training. Let's do a class. Let's do this. Let's do this and let's bring our products. I'm gonna hustle and about bed. While i'm there good point you make right there heo it's caroline hobby and i wanna tell you about a stylish safety shoe company. That's changing the game for women on a craft. A female engineers struggled to find work boots that would allow her to dress professionally for meetings and be safe in manufacturing environments so she founded zena worker and developed the world's first stylish steel toed shoe zena work where designs products that help women feel their best anywhere. Discover your new works out at zena work where dot com that's x. e. in a work where dot com heo. This is caroline hobby. We celebrate we gift. We mask and we holiday and special holiday face for the family are now available at old navy. Their washable breathable made from three layers of one hundred percent. Cotton and designed according to the cdc's recommendations for non-medical face masks and just in time for the holidays shop festive plaids in fair isle. An amazing prince like santa's penguins bears and more they make fantastic stocking stuffers. They're available in sizes for you and the kiddos with county adjustable ear loops and since we're wearing them for all of our holiday errands right. We need a lot head into your local old navy or shop on dot com see old navy dot com for details. So oh that's a great point so you you you get. You have an opportunity to come your way and then look at it from every different angle and you're like how can i maximize every different every different aspect of this opportunity so you have quite a large instrument falling as well. How have you built that instagram falling. And how have you used instagram to your advantage for your business. I mean i feel like in spike. There's definitely something going on in the sense of like our the biggest celebrities saying my name. I haven't been gone up a thousand during to mean whatever but it's still high and it still a good place but instagram is such an important tool because it's worldwide right so i can connect with someone right now. I currently have a girl in the bahamas who keeps message in me and she said any pictures of browse said any pictures videos. So you know. Hey i want to go to the bahamas. Maybe we'll go into a class there. That's how it starts. You know what i mean. Some already like not necessarily her but like we've gone to australia. We've gone to denmark. We've gone to the middle east The middle east one was the coolest only in the sense of like. It's almost a fairytale. Like i used to always say like one day. I just wanna be flown somewhere to do browse right and now it's happening right but that one was literally just go do their browse like yup and then we turned in and then we found out that they own a salon in the middle east and we were like king go where selling products. You need a carrier line. Let's do this. You know what i mean so like. There's just so many ways to expand and grow whatever your business is you know it. You just have to think about it like the really truly. I mean the middle east one was just like i cried in the taxi on her way home. Mike and i take my best friend. My restaurant who works with me full-time to all of these things and in the taxi a on the way home of mike do even know like what we experienced. Like we were put up in the ritz hotel. I've never been to the rich like i'm from. La they're everywhere. I've been doin' to walk in. But they put us there in our own private suite with our own manmade beach a pool and lettuce. Eat for free in the entire hotel. Like this shit's crazy had we. We took this. You know and whatever your dream is. I mean i used to think too like i wish i could be makeup artists in the sense of traveling with the kardashians installed the cool places that they go. But i can't do that because i have a song to me. That's not. it's not doable. From my lifestyle and my current situation you know what. I mean but i can still go for a week for class. You know what i mean. So that's cool. But again. I was like one day one day one day. What might have been thirteen years later. But it still happens you know. When did you realize that you. When did you that you were living your one day dreams like when did you wake up. And you're like what. I was hoping for all along actually living. I can't tell you that. I don't know i really don't know i mean we. You know there's been so many cool thanks. I think that one was decling milan. When we travel those. Those are really cool. Like not only is my best friend who runs business with me. I'm mike weren't denmark. We disrupt sweden were on the beach where there's naked men jumping in the water movie wherein australia holding koala bears. We're flying first class. We're in the first class lounge. Where like this crazy shit. Like this shit's crazy. You know like or the met gala like or being flown for the weekend. My not song for the weekend to new york. Do someone's browse. I didn't browse in the house that the movie big that were tom. Hanks like grows up in. Not the the the the the flat where he's like the canned as an adult with the piano when all cool shit brow whom i feel like this basics familiar now at us from moving bigger mike sue. This is crazy. You know like i can turn browse into a business where you know. Everyone has eyebrows. I can be doing your husband to you. Know i. I do man also in our name and another. I think you just have to put yourself out there and really the most important is talking to people and connecting with people. One of my favorite stories also to is. Game of thrones never watched. The show didn't know anything about it to reach. I don't think he'd had. Hbo and i had a client who came in. And i always ask everyone questions i if you came in. I'd say what what do you do or do you live right now. where do you live. Yeah and part of what i ask. And i don't care who it is. It could be the guy at the grocery store whatever. I'm always talking to somebody you know. And the lady said she worked for hp. She says she booked a makeup artist for red carpet events. And i was like okay changing exactly so i have no fear in putting myself out there and i said well you make up so if you ever need anybody let me know and that was it. And she called me booked me and i got to do three. Seasons of game of thrones red carpet events for kit harrington and all of them having no idea who any of them were her whatsoever. Yeah that's so cool. Though seven great show man. What a life kelly. I watched the doctor. And then where you kinda watched it. I believe it's probably better. You didn't know how big of a deal was. you know. I think the funny part was so the guy who plays sam right. Who's john's like right hand. He was like there was like. You'd get different right. And i was with sam and i think it was a second second like year in with them and and my promoting red carpet with them when filming the show right so only for like two weeks or something. That's it. just make him look good on the carpet and i so stupid. I hate to ask you a question. He goes i go. What does winter's coming main and he was like. Do you watch my. And i go. No i said. I don't have able it was like oh my god i cannot even believe you know he was dying. He was literally dying. And i was like i didn't know that winter was coming was a psych. This kept hearing it. You know. I mean it's like it's like yeah so kelly you have done all of these amazing people you've gone all over the world you've experienced the world experienced the the elite lifestyles of the world. Every in all different walks of life what is the what is it common denominator about humanity on that level that relates to all. I feel like so many people who don't coexist with like celebrities or who aren't celebrities. Think that celebrities are in this whole other stratosphere and they're totally different and yes. They have like huge lives on a very large spectrum. But what have you realize is a common thread with all of these people who are living these amazing lifestyles that relates to regular humans will let their human. They have feeling and they're different than us other than more people know who they are. You know what i mean and it is a lot of pressure and it's a lot of work. Ns a lot of stress and they have so much on their plates to keep their reputation and to look good not physically but like are you a good person. Did he fuck up some. How did you know what i mean like. There's so much pressure like our remember. One time getting a bad yelp review and being sad. And i was like i couldn't even imagine being a celebrity and getting bad things written about me. I'm mortified one. Bad yelp review. You mean like they're they're people you know and a lot of times you work so hard for something. Then you have so many people coming at you from someone different directions and you know. I think it's important obviously. There's so many different people out there in everyone's personality is different. But you know. I think i've been blessed a sense of everyone. I've i feel like i've worked with has been face and god But my motto is also that as well so hopefully. That's what i'm attracting but even if someone wasn't i won't go back. I won't work with them again or won't book them you know. We had an experience where we had Someone again unnamed person Book us. And i wasn't available so i sent someone who works for me and they had my stylish sitting for like two hours in a hotel lobby and then she was a total bitch to her when she went into her. And i was like we're not doing against not okay. Not we're message me multiple times after saying. Hey can you comin' also no sorry. We're not available. Like i don't care how rich you are. You don't get to be an asshole. You know but i think at the end of the day is like all of these people have worked really hard like i went to go to arianna the last time i saw her. I mean you know everyone is working throng working. They're working for something you know. And they're always saying if it's a musician they're sending i walk in and they're saying the other day i was a bb and she's singing her song on the radio. Cool you know. I walk in and arianna singing. Mike look any music video like everyone is working but you have to remember that they are people and you have to respect them for you know what they do but also just to give them their space said no that is because there a celebrity doesn't mean they think they're better that baena or nor do they owe you anything either you know You know 'cause people. I heard stories. I just watched last night. And i don't watch any sports whatsoever. So now i'm quarantine. What watching. I watched the michael jordan The last dance docu series of like eight episodes. And i've heard in the past know if it was kobe or jordan or wherever celebrity that. They're mean right. Mike the said. Sometimes you don't watch someone up you're asking for an autograph like maybe he's having a bad day. You can't say as an asshole for that one time right. I don't know what is going on in everyone's life and that's the same thing with me. Like i had a bad yelp review was like she's not as nice and person as she is She appeared on her instagram bullshit. But maybe a gas. Jesus leave me alone like yeah you can't. You can't everyone everyone standard because we're humans. Yeah totally so. I think that's you know i think that's also one thing. I try to tell my girls in the salon. 'cause it's salonen There could be drama and gossip. And all these things in this second is one of the most important just because so-and-so's in shit acts mood and you can tell took me into her back letter. Be grumpy in her own little circle. Maybe say hey how are you. Would you like a coffee. Maybe extended arm rather than fuel it by being an asshole back. Her and wisdom right there. That is the maturity right there. It's you have to know what that person is upset about. But so many grown adults don't act like that like it's like reacting thing like you know your season on there in a bitchy mood so you just want to be bitchy back to them but that doesn't do any good. That just makes that that by bigger. Who wants a bigger bitchy. Vibe is the worst i mean. Unfortunately that's something. I've experienced the most owning a salon and having the rotating door of girls in out quitting coming and firing. And aiding and fucking big crazy like that. I mean you know. I can't i think also too i just from that. I just can't take it personal on which of course i still do to some extent but it's hard to separate you know the people that you work with from your life and not take a personal be a boss and be a leader and teach them and be strong but tell them to be the be charge and you know a lot of responsibility you know and it's to make sure that they're great but to make sure that they listen and to make sure they don't mess up and if they mess up into the katie how to do put another way. It's like they have to shift into this mind. Perspective of not getting in on the on the fuzz. And you can't join an on the riffraff. You have to stay above it which is hard sometimes but like i'm sure i'm sure after all these years of being business like you realize it's just not worth it to go down to that low vibration like you really waste a lot of your energy in the long run so it's so much better to stay at the high vibration that you're talking about but it's just hard to do that sometime so good for you for being aware of it but it's also really hard though too when you have that negative person or that bad energy around you and you're trying to do those things and they just suck you in. It's sex. You cord cutting. That ties is super hard. I mean there came a point where i've got a handful of rough scenarios in the salon you know and we ended up. Firing two girls hated each other. We fired one. The one quit the one that quit. We should've fired also. Didn't and they were toxic. And you know. I tried to continually make it better and fix it and it never worked at at some point you have to realize it's just not working notch okay and i. I didn't even realize long after they were both gone. That i left my own salon because i couldn't take it anymore and once they were gone. I was like it was them. I didn't even know it. You know so like it's hard to realize you're in it in that space at that time like you have toxic things going on and trying to make everything work and have clients coming in. How many replace them and like. Sometimes you just gotta do it. You just gotta do it. You just gotta go instincts but you know swan lights long. Life is it's his own thing now. We have a great team. And they're all good. And i feel like we have a nice clean slate. If you leave one parksix person around. They're gonna spread at cancer to the other one so we have a whole new group for the most part mike. My one that's been around. She's always been good but you know it's hard it's hard to be a mentor You know A a boss of friend positive tough you know all of the things yet also still. I'm still. I still have house calls. I have my son. I have a product line a website. I have my social media I get texts all day. Twenty four seven. I have all of the girls at the salon. Who might have a problem or personal issue by. It doesn't ever end and you have to learn how to juggle it and and sometimes more recently than ever. I'm like i'm done for the weekend. You guys get the weekend off. Guess what so do i good for you. Yeah yeah because you have to. You have to that a mental you have to have time to like mentally recharge and have self care like people talk about self care all the time but like it is so crucial you really do have to make time to let your brain break and yourself have a break. I had a migraine enough. It was last week. It was almost all of last week. And i was like. Oh my god kobe. Oh my god you know like and my friend who was a doctor. I was texting him. My mike hi had migraine like my eyeballs Turn off. I'm i feel like i have like mike get tested. He's can eat breathe. That my breathing's fine just and he was like you need to take the time to go for the weekend. Get a massage. I feel like i'm pretty good at that. In general you mean but still should that happens and you can't physically control the things that come out of your body you'll get migraines you might get assist. Might get a twitch. There's things that you'll get sick because there's so much going on and you have to realize like okay assignment. Turn off body screaming at me right now. Yeah i've had plenty of those. Yep but so wrap up. I know you probably have so many things to do. And i'm so grateful for your time but one thing i do want to talk about before we end is because i'm a new mom and you are a mom and you've been a single mom during this whole time bill. I don't know if it's a whole time building your business. How do you find that balance because being old time. Okay so you're gonna single mom the time you've had this huge successful business. How do you find that balance. Because i a right now. My daughter's one and like it is overwhelming for me to bigger out the work mom balance sometimes. Sometimes i feel like i'm all the time it's just hot mess express but like i'm doing it all i'm getting it done but it sometimes i'm like oh my god. I'm it's insanity. So how do you juggle all of that while raising sun on your own i mean honestly at the states that you're at right now you'll probably be feeling like hot mess express 'cause you're at the young part and it's hard. It's hard to be a mom you know and it's hard to be a mom that doesn't doesn't have a job. Even though mom is job will time as already a mom. That is doing what you're doing so Yourself some credit. Nice to yourself The best jam but also you could try to like you can try to have schedule. Dropped try to be specific things so now. I'm pretty much door dash every meal right so when we have dinner calm the only time i see my son right now because right now he's fourteen. He doesn't care to hang with mom. So when derek comes i put my phone down because it's still being in ringing. I could look online and beyond on instagram. By only get that twenty minutes of some personal time with sam so just make sure that you're making the personal time with her whether it's time or breakfast or you know your lunch break or you're taking her does whatever it doesn't have anything specific you know but but it probably is easier if duke pick a moti if let's say your husband does the morning or you the morning and he does the night and you have a specific time. Where from two to four. I'm gonna get two solid hours in of work focused by myself not worrying about it. You know that's together. And when's he said sleep when she's asleep. Maybe i'll do it our but after not our i'm gonna put my phone down. It is now. I'm going to be with my husband's Then yeah that's really good advice kelli actually like thinking about it a little bit of a structured way so that you're not just kind of like throwing it's not like confetti in the air at all times i think as a woman we try to do it all the time everything so maybe an men i feel like if you give them direction right i've learned right and i'm learning you know so you know without making them even realize they're giving them direction you know where benefits both of them like babe how about we start like maybe this week you wake up when your daughter wakes up or i wake up when she wakes up i'll be with heard still eleven or till breakfast time and then maybe you want to work out for an hour and then while we're doing breakfast i'm gonna work at. I don't know what you know what i'm saying. Yes this trying to figure out a method that works for you that works for him that you get to get your work done on your baby in there and it's not always gonna go that way. Sometimes you know you are still going to be on your own and you have something you need to figure out right now and that's okay but just just trying to make some kind of little routine just just even. If it's bath time daddy gets backside that it gets bad time. Mom's gonna walk on the treadmill or vice versa. S or dinner altogether for dinner. Great advice more dividing and conquering instead of just doing it all at once all the time like bigger and honestly that's good because then you get more like the time with. Your daughter is more intentional next. You know because god kelly. Where's your book a book. Where's it ever Time because it sucks. 'cause like i said earlier when we before we started filming like is no interest in me whatsoever so when we're at dinner start asking questions and i can feel him being like we saw asked me so are also trying to sit there but i also wanna learn about him and make sure he's okay and is anything wrong. Are there any girls going. Problems reported problems or bullying or came. Like i don't know you know like is the that doesn't save a lot. An ida suffering pray and hope that it's the agen but even last night so he walked not for some reason. I was on the whole kobe in end and jordan been yesterday and he walked in. He saw us exist for the kobe. Memorial and i was like. Yeah 'cause i'd never watched it. That was like i'm gonna watch it and He then came in. Dog is usually with me but when he goes to bed he takes the dog with them any came and he came back to give me a hug and i was like. Oh you came back for me like thank you. you know. So like what. She was usually mic. Please you know he won't hang out me. It won't come in here. You know so like is important to tried to you know. I'll even joke with him. I if anyone says anything to you. I'm gonna fuck them up which i'm actually not going to pay that. So he feels protected. Do earning a hassle. Like new worlds. And i want him to know that he can say anything and if he needs something you can tell me. If you need help. I got you. It's okay to ask for help. I've always asked for help. He is opposite us not to ask for help a kid which which is hard for me. Because i'm trying to help you know But you just you know you just you figure out your kid and he figured out a little girl named sonny. Yeah you you figure out sonny's personality and you figure out what works for sunny. Yeah you adjust to her for the most part. Obviously there are certain things you have to do but traumas hated going to dinner. Hated like they're like doesn't like loud things so we didn't and people just make some do it. He'll get used to and you know it. Every time we did it was torched Find like i'm done listening to you. People you are not here and he hates these crying. So do what's best for you and your husband and your little child and they're not in your house you know you want in your better be night than you let something lehner. Better be night. Is that going to make grow up to be a horrible person absolutely not. I love that kelly. I so love that mentality. And i think that that is such a way to live and it gives you so much more freedom and in dislike confidence. Live the way you wanna live and take the time to figure out what works for. You will work for your family very you can have your career and find the balance that works for you. Not what everyone else says. It's true because it's your life. Yeah you want to eat pancakes pancakes and like shut up. You know everyone's always gonna india. You like you're dying and have diabetes leave me alone. You know s kelly okay. I robbed me where you've got to go. I know but how did you finally get to dislike. No give a fuck mentality because that is the way to live when you finally can get there but you give talk about what matters in your life about your family your career your your life your little bubble of life like you care but like how did you. How did you finally stop pushing everyone else out. You know i mean trust me. People still get in and and and are in my head space. That shouldn't be there. But i think i mean i'm also forty two. I've lived a lot of experience lot. I've gone through a lot of crazy scenarios in my life and all them all of those things have molded need to be the way i am and be the way it know everything that i do from that. But it's all core values at the end of the day which is being a nice person helping others working hard being responsible. You know what i mean and if you know that you are doing those things than other people that aren't and our in your wake and kiss your ass. You know what. I mean like as a kid. My dad was tough and worked. Really hard you know and growing up we all want the approval of our parents and mike you know he was sick and passed away but before that even i had to accept him for who he was and you know what it is what he is and he's gonna die and do i need to sit down conversation and go over the shit that was fucked up in life. No i love you you love me. I want you to die peacefully. And i think it's really hard for people to accept people for who they are and learn that that is not me. I may have lived. That lights unbidden that experience and done things differently. But now i have the choice to do them differently for myself. And for my kid your gary all the bird and a feeling like if someone didn't live up to expectations that you want them to live up to or if they didn't do things the way that you feel like there should have been done because they only have a certain awareness at that point in their life or whatever their life was only limited them to be able to provide a lifestyle a certain way. Like maybe they just didn't have the ability to even go beyond what they could give what they gave. You was the best they could. So why like you said why. Sit around analyze it in. Break it apart in terry to pay at the end of the day. It's a natural thing for us to do. We pick apart every single piece of it right yet. And i end the war in the if i did it like this and that's what we do but like you just have to know like it's just gonna work workout whether that person's around or you just got to do what works for you and your kid and your job and whatever i recently i want you to go watch Hillbilly elegy. i've seen it yet. But down hillbilly elegy. Hillbilly allergy is a new movie on netflix. It was just on the top ten leg. Okay new shows and is a true story. And it's about. It's about a kid who grew up in a eft up hillbilly town and his mom was a drug addict and alcoholic in his grandparent for crazy. And you know it shows his whole life in. He ended up going to do. I don't know if those harvard. Or what end making this movie about his life in a successful at it shows him going back into time to what he grew up in an. That's perfect example. Of what i want personally like. Our parents have done the best that they can from what they know from it's generational it's it's this generation. We have so many more opportunities to give things to our kids to change things from the past race. You know Everyone like my son has had. His dad is from mexico and my friend made a comment about you know. When he applies the college he should fill out the mexican box The right and he goes why and and i was like it's just the world is so different. You know what i mean like. It's it's amazing in cool that he does not know obviously need some learn right and he has plenty of time to learn because he's still young when this was a couple years ago but he sees everyone as the state. How cool is that whereas yeah whereas were we grew up. Our were taught a certain thing which was brought down to us which we spread down or we try to change right. But i feel at the end of the day. Our parents did the best they could. You know if there are raised in the house with certain beliefs. That's what their parents and their grandparents taught them. So you don't have agree with it and you hope that you can maybe change that but if you can't you have to accept it no i'm gonna change that for my future and my kids and whoever else was next you know kelly are wise. That is some serious wisden on this but it feels so basic and like everyone should know this and live by this because it makes your wife so much more enjoyable if you can go through the life your life and except that exactly what you said about our parents and what they were raised with and how they you know just realize that. Okay here. I am in my life with my circumstances so going to do and then not sit around and have to analyze and worry about what everyone else did because here you are so you. Do you know it's true. You know that's awesome kelly. You're amazing things. I really appreciate you taking the time to this interview. I rap of all my interviews with one question which is leave your light. What do you want everyone to know about me or everything. It's just anything. What about you and everything. But it's all going to be okay. You gotta stay strong. Stay tough in the sense of like you know you're going to get through it but we all go through deaths and we all go through our times and breakout. Then you know losing businesses but we're gonna be okay with heart with a heart so everyone follow kelly baker. Your instagram handle is at lake. Arouse highly baker rouses kelly with an e. k. l. e. y. baker rows yup and. Get your hit because your brow. Kit is amazing. I think it's i always like it. Such a gift win the top of the top create products. So the fact that you've created a route is really awesome because everything that everyone needs so get the kelly baker route brockett and have perfect kardashian browser actually sailed to. They're on sale till january. Well wait a crush half your amazing. And i love this. Innovating me at the app or email me. After and i'll send you a kit weeding uber representing perfect browse to nashville. When i'm one hundred percent coming in hanging out okay when you come all his my places to go when you come on. I'll help you organize an event like get like some. Actually you know like the cities or what's close to each other i. I'm pretty sure there's this. Lawn in nashville. That carries my botox. And there's a woman. Her name is carrie. Underwood's make up that other stylus turnover is melissa slot as melissa. I can say language. Slider she owns parlor three. Yeah i think. I think so. And on lady while morris said yeah. Melissa does her hair. She's carries hair and makeup her whole career. And that's my still my salon that i go to so we do it at. That's salon yup perfect done be. We're meant to be. Yeah we're mentally. Okay amazing kelly. Oh lives have an awesome day later. Thi- hey ya carolina hobby and i wanna tell you about a stylish safety shoe company. That's changing the game for women on a craft a female engineers to find work boots. That would allow her to dress professionally for meetings and be safe manufacturing environments so she founded zena worker and developed the world's first stylish steel toed. Shoe zena work where designs products that help women are best anywhere. Discover your new work style. Zena work where dot com. That's e in a work where dot com at american public university. We believe quality education must be more affordable. That's why as a leader in online higher education. We focus on minimizing costs and maximizing return on learner investment and we believe higher education must be more accessible so on line programs. Start every month american public university within reach without limits. Learn more at american public. You dot com.

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Amara Hall joins me again, along with her beautiful mother Norma, talking about systemic racism and their hope for the future.

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

1:08:24 hr | 1 year ago

Amara Hall joins me again, along with her beautiful mother Norma, talking about systemic racism and their hope for the future.

"Payoff Caroline Hobby of get real podcast I want to talk to you about what southern living magazine has up their sleeve in the south. Talking about food is personal. It's a way of sharing a part of your history. Your family, your culture in yourself on the biscuits jam podcasts, southern, living editor and chief sit evans talk celebrity musicians like Jayco and little big town's Kimberly Flatman Brett eldredge Martina McBride in Gladys Knight to hear stories of how they grew up, and how they've been shaped by southern culture. Listen to biscuits and jam on Apple podcasts IHEART. Wherever find your favorite podcast? My name is Kim villager if I've learned anything in my years of studying uplifting black artists. Is that we all have the power to create something beautiful. That's why I'm pleased. Introduce you to people who have broken down boundaries in fencing and helped to create the first ever smart store. They're a big deal and it's time we give them our attention. Listen to your attention. Please Hulu podcast with iheartradio on the iheartradio APP on Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. It's inspired by your attention. Please now streaming on Hulu. Watch for a fresh point of view on black history. So I'm so happy to be back here with a Mara my best, he this is our third episode. We're doing together he belabor. Her Beautiful Mother Norma you I have loved for many years is also joining us. And I just WANNA start by saying I'm completely unqualified to be having these conversations because I was telling Amara. I haven't known the like the history of what African Americans have had to go through. And I am starting to learn. I watched the movie thirteenth last night and I watched. That good movie. Oh My. And it's just it's powerful. It's a rene. -ducted outstanding talent. We are so lucky to have her and blessed the cheese part of our community and community I mean collective community. All of us learn from her. Because I'm learning things that I didn't know. either. What are you been? I had an uncle. In the while I, had an uncle that used to be awarded of Jessup which is in institution here in Maryland, not far away from from where we live and It's just phenomenal. Just in terms of what thirteenth amendment has done and is doing. Just fine. Putting US under that slavery kind of category again and. All ways I knew that the prison system was lucrative. I knew that it was a way for businesses to join in. We had some ex-presidents. Who are you know made a lot of money from it from from institutionalizing more black and Brown men and It was phenomenal with such an eye opener, but it's. You know it's deep. Deep sadness to that that I feel in terms of my generation. Because you know I'm going on mine. Sixty seven year have been here a while I've seen a few things and learned a few things, but I'm still learning, and that's the beauty for all of us. Has Nobody nobody is exempt from learning doesn't matter what you are color you are. How old you are. How young you are how? I feel about yourself. You know we can all learn where all teachers were. All students and we just have to keep that in mind. I wanted everyone what the thirteenth amendment is! If you don't know because I didn't. I didn't know this. As the thirteenth. Amendment, which is what the movie thirteenth is based on, says neither slave. Either Slavery, nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the Party shall have duly convicted exists within the United States or any place subject to their jurisdiction. So basically what that is saying is you can. No longer. Slavery is illegal. It's not allowed unless you are put in prison for a crime in-in. You are once. You were a criminal you are. You can be a slave again in essence is our. That's right that's. A big bomb it. It's you know cheap labor. Yeah, a lot of prisons are on farm wins It's They're working on what horse farms on Channel Ranch's. A you name it just about except for rehabilitating the prisoners that are there who may be wrongfully there in the first place, but when you think about you know the hard working citizens of America. Who happens to me a woman of come, or who has just learned to work hard because of my mother who demonstrated that to me, then just participating in that work ethic of forty three years in education I hopefully. AM. Hoping for not just all the talk that we're having about what George flooring has brought to the service back just in education period because as an educator of forty three years. You see it, you see the discrimination. You see the bias. You see how black and Brown children are treated differently. You see the psychologists having to learn in label students of color, a little bit more particularly, our black boys and you know being a mother three. My oldest is a boy is. My One and only truly. Brought from. This womb, my son than two girls, but we have to protect our children in as you know being a new mom of beautiful. Little Sunny Amar keeps me posted about her all the time. She's adorable. I'm so proud of you Carolyn. Kirby coming a mommy because it changes you. It changes your whole perspective Began teaching differently when I became a mother you because it changes how you see things in in those protective pinion. You just WANNA. Take them in Kabul them and protect them from all the harm that you know is out there and unfortunately you have to love them. Let them go to figure it out because they will figure it out so being a mother of in particular a black man. How do you navigate that because it is like you were saying? How is it different for him in this world then maybe year a white boy. It is it's very different what am I? Just thinking of stories when he first realized that he was, was a black man, young black man, I'd say happened around seven or eight years old, and he came home from school in another little white boy that he thought was his buddy. And his name was well in that time. Wheels aim was Amman so came home said that. Will call me a bad name among nano was it wasn't a good word because we have told him certain words, you just don't. You're not going to accept that because that's not who you are. It was the N. Word, and he was just so upset because he couldn't understand in knowing among the way we do. Of course he looked at, and he figured out that Oh that's the name that was not used very well. Of course, his grandmother just took him in her arms, and said Oh my goodness Norma Jean. Do you need to go see this mov immunity? Go Talk to them. You gotta go to that school. In do that in, and it was interesting because it forced the the Third Grade Class mothers to really come together. In a force the conversation because he was so upset about it in, he was so distraught about it that I could tell being sensitive as he is. He doesn't appear that way, but he really is very sensitive and just taking that information. Take it to heart, and you just have to treat it with love. More love more love. More love more undestanding. Yes, you are different You're going to be seen as different. You're going to be viewed as different. I can remember when he moved to Arizona and he was stopped at the airport I get a call at Oh. My God I think was one o'clock in the morning in. He had been falsely arrested They thought he was A. In. Wasn't Egyptian. Ugly was Armenian. Potential bomb threat to the airline industry because he been light skin. we look as though we could be I. Mean I've been accused of being Hispanic of being Jewish. I should say accused, but being mistaken for those identities in having to explain no African American you just have to get out more, you know. We come in all shades, all colors, all sizes in you just get out more but he was accused of being a potential bomber because they had the exact same name, except for one initial in two numbers off of their social security number. Wow! So I was on the phone for about forty five minutes trying to talk to this officer that obviously you have the wrong person. This is not who you think you have. But those little things are so key, and they add up. They add up in his psyche as black man. They add up in mind. Psyche as a mother tried to protect her son they just continue to add up and I think what we're seeing. Today is the. It's it's just an explosion of. It, it's it's got to stop. We've got to have these Tom Conversations and it's important. It's snowed by important I just commend you, I told him. I said Carolina's so braid. Said do you know the Gotcha takes the her to really come to grips with this? I mean it's not a conversation that I can have with many of my colleagues. Many my white colleagues, who who were kind of beating around the Bush, because you know I've been the first black in my school. I've been the first black infant toddler teacher in my school. You know having to go into the communities where they just weren't sure. What are you normal? You Son Nine, you sound bids. What nationality are you in having parents once I say African American Black Negro colored whatever you're accustomed to. I'm not white. and to see their jaw drop in that look like. Oh No I. Don't have people like you in my house I don't have people like you vent that I. Can serve a talk to? I'm like well. What are we? GonNa? Do I've been in your house. Be Any outfit thrown? On that story about. Knowing that house call. Oh. Yeah, this one of my one of my favorite students start in Baltimore, county like thirty one years ago, the infant toddler teacher I worked in special education for all of my career for forty three years, so the students that Sir. Were always different. In came in many different. Shades nationalities. We would have students coming from all over the world to come to this particular county school and I was on a late call in the afternoon and I went to make visit visit that I've been making for I'd say four months. you go once a we work with the family with the. You work with the student, and to see no learning new ways, different ways of. Eating drinking maneuvering beans that your baby sunny is is able to do, and should never be taken for granted because there are many many parents in children that that did not experience that. So I've always felt an empathy for for kids that are different, but any rate weird, sitting there working and and It comes to her that. She. Really didn't know me very well. She really thought that will while what's going on with you? And I said well. What are you making? She gave me those words she said, but normally you're so you're so pretty. You're so nice, but but what nationality are you and I said I'm African American? In she her her jaw drop to the floor, she couldn't believe this is a grandmother taking care of her granddaughter while her daughter was at work because you had to work with student to to work on different skills and it took time. It takes time to get to learn to know what they can and cannot do and. She just kind of stood up and I said but I've had your delicious Berry shortcake. We've had a cup of tea together. I mean that was our ritual. We would do things like that. She would make something special and I it, but at that moment. I felt a tinge of fear when I saw her. Coming in the back door, they had just done a fresh kill. Be here and. She told her husband John that. You know we have an in house. and. Been in an woman at that at. T and been hanging out for months. And I said Oh my goodness that. Let's not right, Susan. You've noticed in that. That's not a word. You can use around me, but I must admit if you don't address it at the moment when it's happening, it just kind of. Into that mysterious if nothing had happened. I had to let her know that time in moment that that wasn't going to settle with me. That wasn't gonNA be right in order for me to continue. We had to make it right, but I want you to know. Through the years through the years of the years, we became so most and. Attended her funeral, her family was there. We embraced week. You know they consider me like the anti of the household. Her granddaughter is now of Twenty Six years old. She's a lovely young lady. She got a job at a McDonald's too far in their neighborhood. But that's what I mean we've got to take. On the. You have to speak up. You have to say something. If you see something wrong. You gotta say something. It's just not gonNA sit anymore in mind. Temperament may be different than somebody. Else's GonNa. Shout it out. That's just not me. It's not my mo, but I am willing to talk to you about it and I can't give you. That teacher looked like. Straight can. Have, forgiveness in heart for her that you were able to still become friends with stay friends of her I. Mean That's a lot. That's what I'm realizing. A bunch about the African American community is. You and as a community of had to take so much injustice, and yet you still have joy still forgiveness. Yes, no are willing to have conversations in. It's just gosh, that's that's that's it so I can see why also African American community some spiritual because it's just like. Reverently whoa big, such a big stance to be able to have so much love for live. In your being just being having so much act against you for so long it's just systematic and I'm getting the systematic now. I didn't get the systematic part of it forever. Yeah it's it's. It's all derive to keep us in a certain space and we can't be put in a space. In that space we've been able to out RAW, and it's time to to let us grow and be in that. We're not asking for handouts. We're asking for now tuning just to be on the same level way. That's all we've ever asked for. We can take care of ourselves I. Mean Look at Tulsa, massacre in what was that nineteen twenty one? That was black wall. Street. It was totally annihilated they they said bombs. They kill black people in the streets. Children Women, of course, the black man because you have to destroy the scene, the seed comes from the man. So the band produces seen three. The woman in passionated that you know we've always known. We had to protect our city. We have to protect our particular. Blackmail children more than ever. Before but now today we gotta protect our female children to our daughter's. Because they're being pulled lowering killed yet. Thirteenth is a heavy heavy movie. We just saw just Mersing oh man. My brother's house. That's another good one. We're all people we're all human. We're just human beings, and we happen to be different colors, and we happen to be different races, but guess what we're GonNa read. We're we We came in all came in on a different boat, but you know we're all in staying boat now, so we'll be going to. We gotTA hack it out. We working out. We have to figure it out in. It's GonNa take all of us. Both bite's GONNA take every body to do it. We can't do it alone in. You can't do it alone, so. I just didn't realize the economic benefit of oppression. That is where I feel. I'd super naive and I didn't realize how much. The economy benefits by keeping people in prison and actually wanted to read this thing that Avon. About it, she said. The problem is that this is from Scott Woods wrote even who wrote and directed thirteenth posts. The problem is that white people see racism as conscious hate would. Racism is bigger than that. Racism is a complex system of social political levers, and we set up generations ago to continue working on the behalf of white at other people's expense, whether whites, no, or like it or not, racism is an insidious cultural disease. It is so insidious that it doesn't care if you are a white person who likes black people. It's still going to find a way to affect you in fact you. Infect how you deal with people who don't look like you. Yes racism looks like Hey, but hey is just one manifestation privileges. Another access is another ignorance is another apathy is another, and so on, so while I agree with who say no one is born racist. It remains a powerful system that were immediately born into. It's like being born into air. You take in as soon as you breathe. It's not hold that you can get over. There is no anti-racists certification class. It's a set of Sochi. Socio economic traps in cultural values that are fired up time. We interact with the world the thing you have to keep scooping out of the vote of your life to keep from drowning. I know it's hard work, but it's the price you pay for owning everything, and that's from spot with and I just yeah, and I can. I can see that yeah yeah. Yeah I can see that, too, because I was thinking about the whole You know everybody's talking about now of the. defunding police and it's kind of. Put up an uproar with Yasser the enormous radio. I don't know what that means. In that way makes me feel nervous. Not. WHAT THE POLICE THEY PROTECT! It's a scary thing to talk about, but that's what. That's what it meant that. In other words, it's meant to strike fear in white people, so they think. Oh my God now. We're not gonNA. have any laws everybody's GonNa, be running around. It's GonNa. Be The wild west. Guess what it's been the wild wild west or black. For a long time, and it continues to be that way. It's just not that way for you when you call police. You know you're going to be protected. Every black person that causes police is is not necessarily protected, and when I think about you know we've defended mental health, Care Guide knows. We've defended education when I think of the programs when my son when tomorrow and will wear in school the physical. Education programs aren't music programs. We're trying to be cut now a in. The nineties mid nineties. We're trying to on will. They did defend those parts of education. We had to hold fundraisers to earn enough money so that we could keep the eating your keep our music teacher. Keep our art teacher so that our children could receive those services. What do you mean we haven't defended before we defended? We've defined education all the time I hope parents are now more aware of what teachers rarely do and that. Horns even. Their kids all my gosh teachers I love. Now. You better how your babies teacher angry Seco- chase you. or He needs it. You make sure they habit because it, amy's. It's not easy when you're one person. You Got Twenty Two kindergartners in your group and you've got to figure out what to do how to do it and keep it moving and keep learning going. We've defended education for for years with defended recreation and park programs, especially the most major cities we deep funded those those kids. We don't know we no longer have the the computer labs. We wanted no longer have the the programs that help children come in after school. Learn to do their homework a scale, even some of. Of. Our rotational schools have had to cut back in terms of teaching. Kids who aren't necessarily going to college. Everybody doesn't have to go to college. We need plumbers electricians. We mean we need people that can fix cards. We need all those those of other. You know jobs that were suddenly. You've non-essential. which now we know are essential. You know these essential workers, so so when we got to just invest in our people and stop pretending that those programs don't impact our society as a whole because they do. All those little things are connected to the bigger dot of helping us be. A much more rounded society we we've got the have. Nots and we've got even up playing. Will you happening to me because I? have been very nervous about this. And I am not I actually avoid confrontation at all costs of the fact that I am having these conversations. It means a lot to me to educate. What does De Fund the police mean to you like in the best way possible because you still want the police out there obviously. So. Yeah in all police officers are not bad exact. You know. We had a great resource police officer at my school who opposite Tim was one of the God wonderful wonderfully socks if he were scored in students in got did know them I mean. I can't speak highly enough of the police officers that are there to really help assist us, but defunding police to mean means that we are cutting back some of the funding going into perpetuating our warrior like response to everything we gotta come away from this warrior, mentality of domination of economy, reminds me back in slavery. Times of the slave catchers would become. The police is almost become like a slave catcher as opposed to. helping that person through the situation. We've seen it when you watch. The the protesters will say police officers pushing people to the side, and then the supervisor wants to keep it moving. Keep the line moving people down, but there was a person that was thrown on the ground. You need to make sure they give. I mean it's just taking portion of that funding and spreading it into the communities where it community programs are Armenian place, but they need help. Most major cities, every single sound, Terry, parks and REC program needs help every single solitary of after school care program needs help We'll help the then. We're not even talking about I'm thinking of some of my students who were autistic and who? Maybe have verbal language meeting in really are able to read on a pre palmer level back. If, they were to become confronted with a police officer who didn't understand the hand waving were. twirling around or or thinking that maybe they were on drugs, and they just don't understand you know we need. We've always needed more social workers. We've always needed more mental health care facilities in people who are really in there. We always need more counselors that they know that studies have proved that we always need psychologists that can sit down with student. Help them de escalate in. That would help the police department, so you can really concentrate on developing those relationships in your community, and we're really only talking. Maybe I've seen some statistics I'm trying to think of where saw that? It was on MSNBC, but at any rate like reducing the programs just sixteen percent of a police budget. I think they could do without in in. Let it infiltrate into your cities programs that are already existing but help to support your community we have to. We've gotten to the place where he got reinvest in people. You can't just cheat. Policing them. You can't just keep enslaving. Just, keep putting us in a bind or in a corner where all we WANNA. Do is fight. That's all we have to always be on the defense and. We got a lot of offensive players in our community. We've got a lot of brilliant people who have thought about this in who had tried it in Let's start using what we got is. We don't have to go outside. We don't have to go outside of our. country. They're all right near. Plenty we have plenty of people to help us Let's just start listening and actually start doing. It defended the fleas Oh my God no, we keep get rid of the police department. How are we going to get religiously I? Think that's the misnomer in on I. Mean it's not a full. You know just okay. We're going to get rid of them and put the money somewhere else. It's you know when. I show up to a protest and there are twenty five policemen in riot gear. Is that really necessary for a peaceful protest your knowledge. And then that just creates that angst within people on, so it's a you know it's like. Do we need to you? Know Brianna Taylor for those officers who were serving that no knock warrant. in Louisville noted. Do they need to show up with you know? unmarked. Vehicles in you know full on. masten Night Hawk special OPS gear to run up in her house. Like like no, you know I. Think to me defunding the police's like. Okay how can we take a portion of what would be used to instill fear in the community and take that portion of money and. Put it into mental health hooded into the community center, but it into parks and recreation, but it into. You know sort of de escalation again. Mark. An Hour. And, not assuming that everyone is just a criminal. Hey Account, hobby here. Women don't often talk about thinning hair, but nearly half of all women experience it as early as age forty. If you're one of them, you know can feel scary in stressful, which only adds to the problem control isn't given. 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Com Salt N., U. T. R. A. F. O. L., DOT COM Promo Code get real for hair strong as you are. Why is it that the person? The Black Man is always always assumed to be guilty? What what is that psyche that we've been programmed to belief? And it's been deeply program. You know we. We have this collective grief to me that we're feeling and IT'S A. Just I just feel a history of weariness. It's tired of having to prove our humanity without sounding. You know angry. Or you know out of control, but you know the truth is I am angry. But I can demonstrate that anger towards purpose and peace and understanding I know how to do that so I'm not saying all black people know how to do that. 'cause I can't speak for all black people. But I know that we are angry for good reason and it's time to stop. Hiding behind it because we have got to deal with systemic racism in this country I'm so encouraged by looking at all of the Hughes in people from all over the world. Just just just kinda grappling with this as we grapple together. Because it's hard, it's tiring. It's exhausting it's. Out. It's. Big Issue I mean now that I can see the depth of the systemic racism it is. Big It's going to. It's like moving. H Amine just it's. It's so big. It takes so much. Energy to shift this and I. do think it's been slowly shifting, but it hasn't really. Changed in some ways Aweso it seems from what I'm gathering is a very very UNEDUCATED unexperienced person to talk about this I just want to keep saying that I do not I am so so naive to so many things that I don't at all and act like I know anything from what I am starting to learn. It just seems like. It is just so huge in the it has made progress, but it also hasn't made progress. Or your sure, but I think by talking about it. You Know I. Think I for some reason it is just like I feel like a little more edge coming off. You know because we have to be willing to talk about it and negotiate and to. Come Up. You know you're going to have an idea that I didn't think I'm have an idea you didn't think of so. Why not collectively? Let's at all those great ideas together and make for for stunning. Make it better, or you know my future grandchildren if I ever. Had any. Your is good and I'm so. I'm so overjoyed with that to the point of Of crying, because it makes me feel that there is hope even if I don't see it in my lifetime, hopefully, my children are my children's children will see it in there, and you know the Sonny's of the world than when I think of Little Mikey and Sarah and you know Matthew my stepson, Michael's children. You know when I think of. Might neighbors grandkids when you know they're coming outside and or looking out in the garden are collected garden out here and and you know they run up to each other. They don't see the color they they see a friend. They see someone that they want to be with and I think. Because the world is mashing. It's becoming more colored anyway, so they're powers-that-be that don't WanNa see that happen and I get that and I think the danger is for. People like yourself to get involved and to not be silent about it because you've got to carry on the generation that you're coming from because your parents were brought up with a whole different idea, and their parents were brought up with a whole different idea We've got to help change the narrative so that they understand you know what? That's the way it is. We are meshing. We are becoming one world. We're becoming one race, and it's the human race in no matter what. Colors may pop out. You know it's it's all about love and and love conquers all in I truly truly believe that, but I I wanted to get back to your point about being from a spiritual standpoint as a people I always go back to God I know. That's my reference because. I feel very very strong about prayer. Until very strong about protecting might children as they have moved out into the various points of the world is. I can't reach them. I can't touch them I can't. Put. My hand on them anymore, so my avenue or my More Fair if you will is is prayer, and not just praying for them, but praying for those that they come in contact with prayer for those that they come in contact, you know changing the hearts and minds of men. Prayer that surpasses all understanding I. Truly truly believe that I think is a people we always have, but we have a generation now that you know what they may not take the time to come down on their knees like I will well, that's how I can not. Because I'm a on my prayer chair. I'M GONNA. Be Praying and I'm GonNa Bitty Colin and out and I'm GONNA be saying late saying it like it is because we have to. We gotta come each other. You know send out a prayer every single morning to my family. Because I know how important it is that they are covered whether they don't read it until they get ready to go to bed. It doesn't matter I want to put it out there on what that energy out there so that they know they are divinely protected, and that they have a purpose, and that purpose is real, and you just have to walk each day. Take each one step at a time and. Phil Fill that purpose that you were meant to do. Norm I want you to know you have raised one of the most incredible daughter humans that I have ever known in every one who meets Amara feels that same way Amara is truly I, say it all the time. She is one of the most spiritual gifted wise, but yet got edge and fog again link in speed to oh crowd, and like move them to their knees, and move their souls, but you or she can just be in a room and like be listening as she just. Has One of the most beautiful souls I have ever met and I know that comes from you. Norma and I know. You raise the right, but trillium. I learned so much from Amar every day and I. The reason I want to have these conversations on a big level is because of Mara I in our friendship, and knowing that I love so much that you love me and we can have honest conversations as friends Bauer staff that you know it's uncomfortable. Yeah Yeah, and I can remember when we first met Caroline when you guys are working with the record company and we went to that What was it? It's a not Chinese restaurant. I want to say that Asian restaurant, and we all sat in that roundtable and we we. Stuck in I just remember sitting next you thinking Oh my goodness. This girl is up. She is something. shafted a mom. You're needing some really good people. Because I just I was fearful for her. I'll be honest I was fearful for her moving to to Nashville and or you know very very white very country. It's proven itself through a great friend like you because you have been so so good to Amar and I just love you and I appreciate you so much enough so proud of you and Michael and your little sunny I can't wait to meet her one day and just to let her know how much I love and appreciate her mom because you are special. That that I mean I love Amara I learned from Amara every day. Like just be a better person because Mars the best I ever. We all. I don't think we have any surface level conversation ever. Just call me like can I just? Go, ahead girl. Just need you know cry or scream or whatever and. I think that's what I'm learning throughout. This time especially is how important it is to have. People in your life that are places. You know and all all of you who are listening your friends of color. Your black friends me a safe place to express their sadness. Anger, they're afraid. nece their gladness, whatever it is, they're feeling in that moment. We all just need a safe place? To. Express it you know and. I'm I mean this is. This has been really fun for manages back and listen to be honest because. You know people, but now my mom, they're like. Like Totally! Understand you. I did it now connecting the dots here. But people that don't know my mother You know I think one of my biggest compliment that I've ever received is. sometimes people say you know it. Just kind of it just feels like peace when you walk into a room. That is. More about you. Thank you and I must say that. You know growing up. I. You know I had a mother that her hands on me and prayed every single morning. Would touch me an area we shared. We shared a room our whole life. And at one point, we even shared a bed. We slept in the same king sized bed. It was so fun she might tell you differently, but it was so fun like slumber. Every night. With my little sister, but I always remember waking up in that bed. I was not awake, but my mother knows. Yeah I'm the worst getting up I'm. Got Auto. Diesel would not let me wake or he. He would growl at me if I'm touching her like. Get outta hit dog. Them Right, but I have these just very sweet memories of being barely conscious but. Hearing my mother just pray, Obara, and so I think about now you know the prayers that like my grandmother prayed, and that her grandmother prayed and that my mother prayed. And those of the prayers that are touching me now you know I think about the way I live my life and how I'm actually carrying out. Dreams that my grandmother proudly had and never got to see you. I feel Very. Honored. To be Exactly where I am. Not Knowing what the Hell I'm doing, but I'm here. You know we talk about that. All The Times like I feel like a reinvented myself so many times here, Nashville and Caroline's been been right there through all the transition like L.. So you're GONNA also you'RE GONNA? You'RE GONNA do spoken word now. Okay, Great! Okay, so you're going to be a teacher women's prison. Yeah, great! Totally see that for you. Okay, so you're going to be a model. Okay, Great! Yep! Always that you know just having Having someone who? Really sees me. Is Very special, so thank you. Tell me what? You have learned from your mother Amara. How much time do we? Have learned, I definitely think I've learned how to communicate with people you know like in the in the same way you know Mama Hurts. You just be like you know I'm not going to be like. Yellen all up in your face although I had seen her yelling at people's faces. Her kids though you know. but I'm absolutely the same way like I'm I'm not. I'm you know not someone who I feel like? I've just learned to have A. Even, temperament especially, if I'm trying to communicate something of importance landing everyone because that's effective. Very. And You know definitely learned a lot about work at. although my mother probably would be like. You have because I lived my life very differently. And I you know very well. Who Law Law and I slap Ray. Of the family of on. I've learned. I've learned that people will remember how you treat them and I've watched. My mother spent her life, serving others and serving. Students who are different of grown up. being in and out of her workplace, and in and out of her classroom, and sitting with her students, who summer verbal summer nonverbal and I think that has definitely affected me always being very aware that I am. Just the fact that I woke up this morning. I'm blessed. You know what I mean just the fact that I will go up in my right mind and I can. And I can use my arms and I can you know? I have. Full control of my body. You know watching so many kids who don't. And who it's, it's a victory for them to you know walk without a Walker one day. You know or to be able to have that job at McDonald's. It's a big deal. Also I feel like I've just watched the way. She serves people and Serbs families and serves our family very much the matriarch of our family. And we, we just enjoy being together. Like I think. My Love Language is quality. Time. MOM would love. Language is quality time I never did figure I mean I didn't finish all the books, and you might gift satellite. But I. Think Quality Time in a quite yeah an. Affirmation words of affirmation definitely I can't Get up and get out of the door. I don't even go walking before I actor. Read you know certain affirmations that helped me just prepare my mind. But. even though I'm not. I used to do it because before going to the workplace. You know you gotta be. Ready Cause Suzy walk in the door. It's jumping things happening. Yet at your spiritual armor on. You gotta get your mind that you're. When you're walking up yeah woodley absolutely. Yeah never know GONNA. RUN INTO SOMEBODY WHO's having a bad day. I feel like I've also learned to I don't think that I'm as. Outspoken as my mother's. But I'm getting there as I get older, but I've watched my mother just. Say things in the moment and how important it is to call things out in the moment and don't let that moment pass especially. If you feel, you know, someone has said something. Upset, she people cannot read your mind. It all you know, don't know they don't know so You know I learn a lot just watching the way that she interacts with other people. And then just you know. What's what's important? In life and it's. It's just. Loving on the people that. Love you and being you now? Just being an encouragement. Being positive. Yeah, you'll love like Amara Gif. Love actually comes from my mother. You know that was one of her catchphrases. Give love. Give love give blood. No So, I ally, and we we have. I feel like we're still learning so much right now. especially as we get to also not just a mother daughter, but we get to be friends. So you know we tell. Your finally old enough. Right I'm finally. We get you know we just have real conversations about our hopes and our dreams and what? We're afraid of and what we're thinking about, and what is next and what you know. What's really going on? You know without that like filter. Ahmad. What have you learned from the prison ministries because for everyone listening Amar goes and she. Helps. Women who are in prison. Right tree about their lives. So right now. We're actually I'm getting to meet with a lot of my students on zoom. WHO HAVE Who've been released so You know 'cause obviously Hashtag covid. We can't go into prison right now. All say lace. Bait? Circle, Place poetry circles before it happened. Tell me what your experience in the prison ministries. So I like to say it's a mixture of like group therapy meets. Poetry writing! So we would spend you know spend the first ten minutes of class. Just kind of doing like what I say just like a doing a dump so like come in. I want you to spend the first ten minutes. Just writing about whatever you want to write about, even if it's I, don't know what to write about I. Want you to write that down even if it's I. Don't WanNa be here. I want you to write that down and so like taking an opportunity to get. Into your body get into how you feel because a lot of. I just. I have a big heart for people aren't. Seeing! You know like. Even, you know even like just all kinds of service, workers and people that you know we. We just up until workers now. Don't look at right. We don't even look at them. We just you know our cards and keep it moving or whatever, but women in prison are there also mothers and their sisters and bear aspiring? songwriters and you know someone be on radio. Someone a you know just. have good jobs to support themselves and their families right become teachers not want to become teachers in Bay have. You know they've they've made a mistake, and now they're in this. In this world where they're not. Treated as a human. You know you're you're told when to eat. Your told one Beslakic your old. What to wear your told You know it's even You know it's just it's dehumanizing. You know you're in a room. Full of other women you know having to go to the bathroom and use the shower and you know it's all just can be very very disheartening dehumanizing. Let alone light. There is no rehabilitations on my whole idea as you know I'm going to take. A program where even if it's just for an hour two. I want you to sit in this room. As might equal. As someone who is just trying to figure it out and we're going to try and figure it out together and I. at the time was reading just mercy. I was reading the power of now. was reading. The four agreements which I know you Michael Love. you know just really just sharing my knowledge is taking notes on every Oprah's super soul conversation habit in have access to podcasts in so I was just sharing what I knew or what I had heard, and we would have a discussion about it, and we would write some poetry about it and learn about those women 'cause. You told me when they wrote down there. Poetry Celts, did you? What happened in those moments? I mean. while. We implemented a rule which was no negative self-talk? So. That was that was really interesting, because so many of them had been told by. Spouses expert friends by You know accents. Is. I you know parents Just back. You know by people their their trash. They're nothing. They're not going to amount to anything you know. The one girl was You know twenty six years old and she's got five kids, and it's like you know she's like. How am I ever going to? Get Out of the cycle of poverty. How am I ever going to be another so? So many that. Were thankful for prison because they fell herb for jail on. Sorry because they felt you know. Their backs were against the wall. and. It. Saved their life but I-. I challenged each one of them to look at okay. Let's just assume that. For whatever reason? I know it's fucked up. But you are here. For a reason, and your only job right now is to work on you. You cannot do anything for your families right now. You cannot do anything for your job for whatever whoever you were before you came in here. Your only job right now is to focus on. What energy and my putting into the world. How am I? You know contributing to the mess of my life? and. How how can I make better? How can I start changing some of? How can I start? Go from feel worthless I feel worthy. How do we get there? How do That happen in some of your students. Yeah I mean just through their. Just do their poetry. They're all brilliant brilliant writers you know and just. You know a lot of them just like. Nolan's ever. Asked me what I think about. Self worth no one's ever asked me. You know to. Create, a safe place you know for myself and for my cellmates. You know I've never been. Challenged to do that, so I always say. One rose to the challenge. You know and you see that in their writing from. The first week to. The six week when they graduate. Do you know you can absolutely see it in their writing And just? You know so not my job to as you are always say. I I told them I feel very unqualified I. Am not a teacher. Not Certified to. To do this program I just? Only be honest with y'all on made it up. because. Love it. Because I could just see a need and I. Wanted to. Ask just wanted to be here with you. and just the power of light sitting with someone who feels. Less than. And you just seeing them and just saying hey, I, see you and I must say right here with you I, get it. You don't feel worthy, but. What if you did? Yeah Yeah! You know are right. And what if you did you know? What would? What would that look like so? We did a lot of stuff like writing. Trauma happened when they were little right, so spend a Lotta time writing to your younger self. So I? Want you to write to your younger self right now and and comfort her. What would you write? What would you tell her? Now. And and the sad part of that whole Travesty is when. The, the women who were there in the prison didn't have a mother who could help them. You know an Auntie or a mama's best friend or someone to come in and to to help them work through their their own tragic, because they're Mama's didn't know on their MOMMAS. Mama didn't know you know again. We're getting back to the recycling of of people in the prison system. In, when you're in you, see these women and the light turns on. You know we just. Pray that light never goes out again. And that's I don't like. It has to be shown. Nurtured someone, teach you that that you are worthy. It's been time to let you figure out how to find that within yourself. You're never own that then how you know. Netflix that is so true. That is so true I know. I wanted to earn I'm sorry we at a time. I was going to Share with you. That I was thinking about the law enforcement community as a whole and. I love what the mayor did of of Atlanta when she spoke as a as a mother. Her community and how You know thinking that there's so many. Mothers who heard George Floor? You know call to his mother and I think it just touched up. Such a universal nerve for all of us on that mother frequency because. you know you, do you do end up on another frequency when you become a mother and you don't have to become a mother to get on that frequency, I wanNA make that very clear to many women who are mothers to to all of us, who never really bursted child, but my God they supply all the nurture and everything that we need to move forward, but. I was just thinking of Of something, I wrote down last night. I was up early in the morning. Riding in the I can thank my daughter for that because she. Encourages me to you know it's a mutual admiration society, and when you are blessed enough to have children who growing to wonderful human beings, it's easy to share end to have conversation and just be on a frequency. That is just unimaginable. It really is. It's so precious in. It's so dear. And we're very very fortunate to have that. There hasn't a blessing as a mom to be able to have that relationship with your kids and they're grown. Just got good kids like I love my kids. But I just love them. Now and I wanted to share with you. What I wrote at. You know the wee hours of more. I said to to the law enforcement community as a mother and protector of all children. I want you to let our children live. In DC our children look at them as you would, your own children and they are beautiful, they have full of life. They contribute to this world. They are full of love. In prominence, they are strong. They are peacemakers and bridge builders. They are future directed. They are dreamers. They're smart. They are Horton. They are inventors and innovators. They are compassionate. They are full of wonder and amazement. All of our children. Norma! And I just came in I, thought Oh, my that sounds like an Mr is. It does get Amar Isration. That's shoot. Awesome out you like it. If you can maybe. Teach you how to post that on instagram. Oh good idea. Navy on cut that clip in put it in. The video posted on instagram. I just wanted to tell you what honored has been to be able to talk to. Both of you. Nora love. Amara, raisin, an amazing daughter and I've always loved you. Norma every around you. You just have that same kind of peaceful spirit that Amara has. Its genetic I appreciate you guys. Letting me fumble through this conversation. This uncomfortable conversation that I don't know anything about for everyone listening I am learning I am trying to learn. I am taking recommendations of movies to watch a bookstore like I am dying. To black culture, because I want to know and I am the one I am learning. It's heavy in. It's hard in. Inside if I may everything wrong attempt to keep saying that because I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm just trying and so thank you for letting me have this conversation. everyone listening. I encourage you to educate yourself. Go watch thirteen on Netflix go. Watch just mercer. Then they see us. That's what I WANNA watch nextwave also though and go watch these movies in just like open your eyes up to what's happening in the black kosher. We need to know about this because y'all saying we are all in this together. We are all year, so let's. Let's learn and let's be hard to change and so I would love to end my podcast. I always ended with. Leave your light. What is your hope? For this world. I hope for this world. I was I think John Lewis said something. The other day I saw him on Ellen. Degeneres any said that Got So profound America's young people GONNA turn this world upside down in order to turn it right side up. Thought Wow. That's a lot because that's what gives me hope it's our future. It's our young people. It's it's all of our children who are e whether they're racially mixed whether they are pure bloods, whatever they are that all of our children, because we're all God's children, but all of our children are GonNa make the difference in brings us to the next level. And we'RE GONNA. Get there I love that. Great. Awesome are what is your hope for this world? My Cope for this world is that? Is that we would. Spend more time. Listening. And less time. Not Be so quick to voice. Our opinions you know that goes for me, too. I've actually had a lot of conversations this past week were I've been challenged to. Hail Mary. You'RE NOT GONNA. Change my mind right away and just because this is what she think. It's not the right thing, and I've been really challenged by that and I think. That's absolutely right. We all just at my hope is that we can spend time listening to one another. Week. Thank you both for joining me? This is my honor. nearline. Thank you for making your podcast debut in? His mother daughter conversation that so. I just want to wrap up by saying I. I stumbled through this I. Don't know what I'm talking bout. I'm trying to educate myself, so everyone listening Mara Norma. Thank you for having this conversation with me. Please everyone gives me grace for not knowing what I'm doing I just want to be a part of the chain because we need to educate ourselves, so thank you for coming on and taking the time out of your day to talk with me and talk with my leg. Appreciate. You being I love you, too. Okay! The. The twenty-seven clubs podcast about famous musicians who died prematurely in sometimes mysteriously at the age of twenty seven. This podcast is hosted by me. Jake Brennan Creator and host of the award winning music, true crime podcast disgrace that season to the twenty seven club launches. June eighteenth, two thousand and twenty with twelve episodes on the life and death of Jim, Morrison of the doors, the twenty seven club contains adult content and explicit language. You can listen to the twenty seven club on the iheartradio, APP apple podcasts or every podcasts. Katie couric I'm Bozo. Saint John. I'm an award winning journalists. If I, do say so myself and I'm hot to trot trailblazing marketing executive and we're very confident. We wanted to combine those business and branding expertise with Katie's natural curiosity to create a podcast responding to this moment in time, welcome back to Biz with Katie and bows each week will interview innovators, creators and CEO's to find out. How are pandemic present? Present will forever change the business of Tekken, media, travel and Leisure Education and Sports, fashion and pop culture, because in many ways this has been a really dark time, but it's also a time for reassessing recalibrating and finding the light. We're doing ten episodes and you can catch them every Thursday, so listened back to Biz with Katie and bows on the iheartradio APP apple podcasts. Were ever you get your favorite shows?

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BONUS: Get Real: Round Table Talk with Tyler and Hayley Hubbard On navigating marriage, parenting, careers, trusting God,

The Bobby Bones Show

1:11:39 hr | 1 year ago

BONUS: Get Real: Round Table Talk with Tyler and Hayley Hubbard On navigating marriage, parenting, careers, trusting God,

"Hey all this is caroline hobby. Thanks for checking out the bobby bones. Show podcast since you're here. I wanted to share an episode with you of my podcast called get real with Caroline Hobby each week I sit down talk with the wives of your favorite country plus other incredible women. I'm married to country. Music Artists Myself Michael Hobby from thousand horses and recently I had Tyler Hubbard. We're from Florida Georgia. Line on the podcast with his amazing wife. Haley along with my husband Michael and around table talk. We talked about secrets for making time for each other in the midst of busy music careers plus we dive into parenting and how guys view versus women and how we work together and so much more. I'd love to come and check out. More episodes subscribe on Apple. podcast listen on iheartradio or wherever you get your podcast right now. Here's my episode of get real with Caroline Hobby featuring Tyler Hubbard his wife Hayley and my husband Miami uh-huh in she just said Noah Orange County pretty cited podcast miniseries. Doc Roundtable talk. I'm just calling around. Talk is not technically called round table. Talk but it's not just me sitting down having a one on one interview with one person talking about their lives and all the amazing amazing things about their life. This is more about a conversation about real life stuff going on currently in this moment. So I'm kicking off with my husband. Michael Goes joining me so excited. And then Hayley and Tyler Hubbard and we are having the realist conversation ever talking about marriage. We're talking about career. We're talking about babies. We're talking about babies affect marriage. We're talking about God. We are Louis talking about it all and it's real and we're honest and were opened. And so I'm I'm very excited to share this with you. Guys here is my husband. Michael Kaley in Tyler Hubbard and myself. Okay Hi everyone. Yeah so this is a first. But I've done my podcast. It's a couples podcast which is really exciting and my husband is joining me. Do do how do you feel nervous. Michael we've really been talking about personal things lately so I might as well share them all with the world right just just like getting to the core of ourselves. That's what I hear. The core of Michael Caroline Hobby. Right now we have helium. Tyler are have rejoining us in this. podcast idea came about because Haley texts me. And you're like I think we should really talk about some real life stuff and I was like I think we should do and then of course like give me a tiny little nugget. Let's just do a podcast is like going dude immediately and share all the things and here here we are and we made it happen within like week I know brought about so. What inspired you to want to like talk about some real stuff? You know I think just with our girls uh-huh texts that we have going on it just so nice to have everyone to lean on and get advice and help share advice and just kind of circulate all all that all of our fears and excitements in victories in life and so like let's share that with other people but I think those are walk that we really like okay. We need to do this. We need to make this happen. So we're all like Mike are new parents. We have a seven week old. We've been two weeks behind. Can you guys with baby Luca. Now you'll have two kids. You have a two month old and almost. She is live two years old to and I think that's what encouraged us to join this. Mom's MOM's group are walk are walking group. Because we're all just like in the trenches trying to figure this out how to navigate marriage to navigate babies how to navigate careers and it's just overwhelming. Sometimes I mean marriage is a whole nother ballgame whence you put kids into the mix as we all know I mean just be good to gain knowledge and share knowledge in that department. So how have you guys navigator marriage starting with live with like eight. What was your love story like? When they had to draw meat was instant? And did you know right away that this is the one what tyler shares. y'All trying to make this short and sweet but we met through a mutual friend. Initially we were just kind of friends and we were hanging out and so much to the point where highly was on the set me up with her friends and I'm like Nah I ain't really feeling that way. anyways we we were hanging and one thing led the next and after a few months of kind of hanging out I was on the road at the time super-busy so we weren't hanging out a ton but Ended up. We had a one night at one of our friends houses and Those Dula I and I remember that day because that was the first night that Haley kissed me Haley Haley. Just you just play still debate to the story but that was kind of the night where we've other something here so we ended up hanging out quite a bit Shortly thereafter I. I think we both felt something special and kind of knew pretty quickly. You know this was leading somewhere and Hayley was moving to California a few weeks after for that and that was her plan she already had a roommate in a room setup and that was it. Yeah let me tell the story. They forgot that was when we were actually. That was supposed to move. Was the first thing that we can wrench in it. Yeah so yeah then I. I told her speaking time was you should pray about it. So that's what I tell her I don't I don't think you should move to California. I think you should to pray about it and I was kind of kid but at the same time I think she took me serious and actually thought about may not have really hadn't prayed about this so kind of went home and prayed about it. Ask for a son on and she was signing her Lease on her apartment at work in her boss came up to or behind her and told her that he would double her salary. She was staying Nashville so they really. Tom Pretty pretty obvious like that. You know thank God humor too so good deal so yeah right chained up quitting her job but just using that as a sign to stay in Nashville and you know we hung out a ton and show were there after. We were We were engaged and getting married six months later and it was it. Was You know I think we both need pretty quickly. It wasn't love at first sight. If you will bill but it was definitely you know love pretty quick and we some special so yeah. That's kind of that's kind of short version of our low store and Yeah that's pretty cool. I mean obviously it was something special because Y'all just had one kiss like you're saying Eva's has been a real good kiss. 'cause y'all really started dating yet. It's fresh fresh. Yeah it was fresh but like I said we were. We were so busy that In because she had just quit her job she was kind of in between jobs and I was selfishly. I like hey where you want to. Just come on the road with me and when I'm home can we just hang out all the time like we were together pretty much every day after that. So you are. You're not going on. We had just gotten a bus we were sort of past the really really roughing stage like the double. Washy probably wouldn't join me on the road but we were definitely we were sharing. Earn a buck for for a while. We also twelve dude on the bus so probably being there so you get to know each other quickly. You know I'd say six or eight months later. We moved in to the same house together and Just to save money need to be honest and then realize how amazing that was and Yeah ask her to marry me pretty soon. There after talked about raising kids at our farm and how amazing isn't that was going to be and then she told me about after we got married she didn't want to beat the Forbes so funny but it was all it was all for the better anyways now that we live in town it's really convenient. And we have the farmer getaway to and that's started in the country together and that's when I learned that men do not take hints. You have to communicate clearly to them because I told tyler when I was ready when I when it's moved to town that I'd been hinting for the last year and a half that the farm and he was like well. This is the first time I'm here and Kate Hints. So that's true at that that point. That was my my turning point and actually really communicating. What my needs are to him? That literally was like a moment for you. Mark Time Like I've got to speak up and say it directly what I feel. Yes because I just thought people under could read my mind because they do say send towns feeling but that was not the case. I mean obviously no one can read minds so I've worked on expressing my needs and was that something that does that. Come natural for you to express your needs or did you feel you had to like work on that. It's still something I have to work on be conscious about. I'm a two on any Graham Helper. Yes so you probably put your needs last and you see how you can help everyone else. I probably specially the ones you love the most. What are you on any room three? That's an achiever. Maybe seven seven which is the enthusiast four. which is the romantic? Okay so I think that's great. We all of your. We actually tried to play any again. Any game failed Rowley Guardian. Don't get that off for the birds instagram. So let's talk about that like how a your personalities Mesh because we'll talk about ours too because obviously I know I know ours. A WATT and but we'll share that but how does an achiever and helper go together. Socially especially a very busy lives in kids. How do you make that work and communicate? That's a good question for me. I've just been really focusing on and she helps me achieve overachiever pain. I don't know no actually You know I think they need. Graham is interesting because you know. I don't think it's it's the end all be all. I think it's a cool a cool way to help understand he's other personalities but I would say overall we're just a really attain and that's kind of been and are are saying since we got married as a team and we're But but it does help me understand you know qualities. What is about highly that that helped me communicate better with her and vice versa But overall I think I think we're just a team. This is a terrible answer but maybe next question so okay because I do think especially now at your marriage like when you've been married for a while having kids how do you feel like what. How do you feel like our team? Dynamic is your organizer organizer and Scheduler which I love. Default was the sheet Michael's like Sydney Day sheet of what I need to do for sunny today. I I work in that type of environment. I mean team was just being a good team. We just work well together and we move move while together new you let me be me and your flexible schedule. And you're not. You're not sentimental about things you know it's like you. You know a birthday like you celebrate it but early anniversary like you're really like well everyday's in your Valentine's Day is every day. Yeah like we. Can you know you're just laid back and cool like that. Which makes it easier on me? But that's just being with you and understanding like your love language is words of affirmation so and I sometimes I for my birthday. They are Christmas. I'm like you don't have to give me anything but please write a three page letter like thank. You didn't take some time. I want you to write out specific things that you love. It's not just your great at long long list a minute. That's all I want but I don't like a quick breezy card. I want like a thoughtful car where you have like specifically listed things that you love about me and noticed one day we need to get together and with a plan to write a song instead just right. We'll spend three hours and just write solid work to very specific specific song that is totally directed. Milwaukee uh a thousand percent than we could do that Out Daily plan okay. It's my it's her birthday. I'm you go get the card. I'm going to write the card. I don't want the car to have been planted by Assistant. I want to be caught up. You know well thought out and I do think that is the different. I don't know some men may be super sentimental. We first got married started dating like I would drive to where you were in. Put a card in your windshield with all these thoughts and you didn't even care like you didn't even go to Sweden but you could have cared less. I just thought it was sweet and you read it. Well it's really nice about me. I like quality time. Yes Over any of that yes all about quality time and I don't gifts gift like you don't have to give me gifts or anything but if you want to you unlike you want if you want to buy yourself because you're only like things your little things remains like getting picked up from the airport. Hey you know okay so tyler you said you are song yesterday about Haley. What inspired it in was the song about It's called invisible. Is this what you're dancing to live. which was the cutest thing ever? I'm Oh so cute. She made Monday. But it's just the concept except sometimes like you know I'll be in the spotlight a lot of times people forget that how viable and you we know for me. I just WanNa make sure I remind Haley on a regular basis like you're the real star in this situation like all I do is sing songs or go write songs or whatever but to me. You're like the you're you're the rock star in our relationship and and sometimes it gets overlooked and I do like just a good reminder. You know on the main to to make sure she knows that 'cause it's It's important and and everybody around me to know that too like I don't know just a big part of our dynamic and I would not do. I am anywhere close to who I am without highly around. So it's just kind of that the idea behind that a little a bit. What are some things you love? Most about Haley. The first thing I was really attracted to highly about was attracted to Hayley to it was her overall kind of aura. How she so relaxed and calm into that and just handles herself with grace like even where I might be all tied or like anxious or like you know not nervous really per se but I would just anytime I get wound up highly? And she's just so calm and just like nothing breath and faces are bothers her and she's soft spoken and it's just good energy so instantly like when I first met her I was like man. I love being around this girl. And she's just she balances me out really well oil and I learned so much from her So that's the first thing and then as I got to know whereas a lot of things that I love about her I love how she loves is people so much she is a genuine helper. She wants to help everybody with anything Even if they don't want to work on that a little little bit but she's just such a loving person was such a big heart and wants to help people and So yeah that's the first. The two things that come to mind is just and now having kids together washing her mom is like just fall more and more in love with her but initially that was the hour things that I really was attracted to was just kind of her overall own how she carries herself. I second that Haley you are the most host relaxed laid back person. I have ever met your so calm like the word I would use for you. Just calm and peaceful just just very peaceful in. Where does that come from? Thank you thank you guys and tearing up. Just let it out. We're hormonal. We can try anytime we all these emotions you know. I think deep down it stems from just this innate knowing that in that God's got everything under control and I would say that's probably the root of it Just like okay how. He's not really a big deal in the big scheme of things. Where did that faith in God so strong come from from such a young age? I don't know I just I don't know I the thing is just in me. Holy Spirit whatever you WANNA call it. That's awesome I don't know it just It's part of who I I and I guess I've just tried to kind of laugh things off and try not to make things such a big deal just interject a little bit. I will say some of your biggest influences influences are like from your mom Mama Kim as well. He's very I mean I would say your parents have a pretty calming or about them too. They're pretty relaxed taxed and they're pretty easy going and they kind of have a optimistic outlook on life and then probably her second her second second family I would say it is a lady named Kim. WHO's the same way? I look up to her so much. She's just so graceful and calm and uplifting and and Optimistic and just good people to be around and I think that's the has the have a pretty big influence on you and that's a choice. Do you make just talking about that this morning that you wake up some days and not everyone just feels super positive in happy every morning. It's definitely choice. You have to make him to be intentional about it every day. I'll say you do that better than for me than I. You have a natural tendency to get super emotional about stuff and I could fall down a rabbit hole of feelings like I could really really just like an just seek into my feelings. Live at the bottom of them. But you always find a way to spin it like you'll always spin it and you'll find in a positive way to do something and how how do you how do you do that it. What did you find that you know? I think it's like Haley said it's like wake up every day and you make a choice you know even when things aren't going your way or you know you're frustrated you just. There's a reason why you're frustrated. Is he just kind of. I always try to get to the source of that first and then easily overcome it and then you look. Gratitude is a huge thing. I mean if you look around you know you got a roof over your ahead get you now. We have a daughter so it's like there's a lot a good to focus on opposed to just a moment of frustration or emotion Russian. In my opinion. Like you've always been that way. Yeah I've always been a pretty positive person and never it's like as cliche is. The one door closes another one opens type thing. It's it really is true in those things happen for a reason and I think navigating those things is the most important way with a positive attitude. And you'll get your best results so I mean life's pretty good when you talk about this because I know this is like a new thing talking about lately and I'm just going to help you open this out you recently posted about your brother. Sure he passed away. And that's been a really really hard topic for you to talk about in the past and but you're wanting to talk about now and like view you view it in your viewing it in celebration. Yeah we always have. It's just share. You know I don't want to go into a room and be like hey guys will get to know me. It's just a part of my life. That is a painful portable but also a happy part of my life. You know everybody's suffered loss in some way you know how you cope with that deal without probably is why you know. I grew up there being positive because I was always positive in that situation because you had to be plus a kid you know I just wanted to play the money you know. Ride four wheelers. That was what we wanted to do. So we didn't look at it. You know I think what what hit me. Most this year about it is now I have a child and like looking get her and then finally feeling what my parents not feeling what they felt but I understand understanding a little bit more of like Holy Shit Shit like what did that do to them like. We were kids you know so. I think that's the timing wise. This year is why and it was twenty years ago. Tapie flew by the. That's where I felt the need to express it because people always go understand. I understand it's like you don't really because you've never been. You're right now that we have a child it it just kinda hit me a little harder. You understand more than you didn't before well you said now you understand more. Your parents are coming from what I can imagine. What their perspective perspective of what they felt you you know on a big level trying to keep a family together on top of all that you know? It's it's it's just a what a load to carry and a lot of people stay together and the grow do something like that in those couples and families. Just disperse. Yeah yeah so I finally understand stand both ways We have more forget like forgiveness and grace grace. Jeez yeah totally and everybody deals with things differently so not too bad. Try but you back off what you were saying. I think the having the heart of gratitude attitude I forget the phrase but basically is really impossible to be to be unhappy if you can maintain a steady Eddie gratitude. And that's not saying like always being happier all are never looking at life in a negative way but but we play the gratitude game which sounds really silly but a lot of times sounds like Hellebuyck. What are you grateful for in? So I'll have I'll have to think stuff which is not that hard but at times it's like why am I wanna feel this way like and then almost instantly the gratitude attitude brings you out of that and helps you get a perspective of like okay. I have a lot to be thankful for You know there's no there's no reason to to be pessimistic in this situation or whatever so we've tried to incorporate that even with like live and stuff like what are we grateful for just to start trying to you know. Plant does Dawson her mind and help her understand the power of being grateful. You know what I mean for for every little fine you know even live in general absolutely. So it's you know helps us shift our perspective a little bit from just being kind of like the second I start start thinking about something in a negative light. That's what I'm like. Okay that's my trigger any to think of what I'm grateful for visit so easy to go down that rabbit the whole thing even loss or something super heavy like there's always like silver lining. You know that you can kinda focus on on or situations to be grateful for and I know we've talked a little bit about that. But yeah just there live in general. I think there's a lot of power in the in the gratitude gratitude you know yes snapshot of your phone and you know it's just it works out how it's it's hard to do. Sometimes a lot of people don't do it you know if it's simple thanks. You know. There's always going to be a big house or a nicer car. More money or success awesome. Somebody's doing this and better than you or whatever. It may be all shapes and sizes. But he's focused on what you have like have gratitude towards it. I think naturally literally you'll be happy and those things grow too you know and I don't know what's going on. I would you great gratitude. Good thanks foods which when you're having something I've been really trying to use gratitude towards lowliest now that we have sunny like I have the ability to let a lot of fear creeps into my life like I could describe thing you 'cause I can just go to like these things. You terrible things that you hear that happen to your like people's children and it's like how do you not live in that fear you know so how how do not live in that fear of sorry either God thing total knowing that Oh you know he's in control and it's out of our control but I think it was a Brunette Brown book and she was saying you know every time you have start having those thoughts thoughts 'cause we all have those thoughts as parents like you think of that for riffing thing that could possibly happen and and even if that thing didn't air it did happen. Nothing's GonNa ever prepare you for that moment so don't worry about it you know that's true. And so that's where she says to shift to gratitude the Tude every time you're looking at your child and you have that that moment where you're like. Oh my gosh. What if this happened shifted to? I'm so grateful I've got this beautiful beautiful healthy child and my family and it kind of snaps you out of it because nothing will ever prepare you for that moment in what you were worried about. They probably would never even happen right. Irrational fears that. We all have natural though that is so such a good perspective in my sister told me that to Catherine said she was like every day she says everyday has to be a good day and then also like why miss out on on enjoying the moments that you have with people that you love the most your children because you're worrying about something that most likely will never happen Bendon out of your control road racer. Then you miss out on your life would people that you love because you're stressing out about something that will Louis. Yeah you're not in the moment and that's ego and that's trying to control and not giving up to God so I guess you just you have to give everything up to God all the time. But how do you stay in that place. The book before Agreements League with your word. They'll take anything personal no fear you're all faiths were. Don't think anything personal don't make assumptions in. There's one more for Sephora agreements if you apply that but at the same time we're all human and it's obviously difficult not to live and or at least have fears or you see your friend get through tragedy and think man how in the world would I get through that or whatever. The case is but at the same meantime I think it's being aware and having that mindset and no man today I feel fearful let me just let me remind myself and ask God to remind let me hey like I am not in control of my life. You know what I mean and right now he has made this beautiful beautiful kid or this beautiful marriage or whatever the case is is in. Let's just leaving this today and not worry about tomorrow so I think there's quite a few times in the Bible where it mentions. Don't worry about tomorrow for it. Has Enough words self or give us this day. Our daily bread like it talks about just worried about today. We can't change yesterday and we can't control tomorrow so like just worry about today and then hopefully would that awareness. It can help us all because I think as humans like especially in this culture life breath. It's pretty natural to worry is pretty natural to try to control the situations and you know so I think that's just a good reminder. I think we're all there mentally really so just yeah we just gotTa remind each other and be a support system for each other. Just know when we're having those fears to like you said is give it up to God. I know that sounds so like Sunday school answered but but it's true. You know so absolutely not okay so I have the very softball question Shen that I would like to see what y'all thought about me off your professor so we grew up having to like analyze all of our thoughts. Why I look at Sonny? Luca in live in their these thrash lives that have just come into to the world. There's still so close to heaven you know like they're closer to heaven. They are to Earth right now is like I look at. What are you know about the other side you know like and why? Why did you come here like I I think to myself? Like what is it that she is wanting to accomplish in her life or experience. Like 'cause I personally believe that like spirits we'll have spirits and souls and like were in this earth to experience something because then we're all going back to the other side to back to heaven back to God so it's like why I did she choose to come here like so. Why do you guys think we come to this earth like why are we living? Why do we not just all stay in? Pierre Positive Heaven. Why is it that we come to this earth experience that turned to tyler? uh-huh does that when the hard question. That's a good question. I think that's a difficult question but at the same time I think it's simple and as you know for what we believe in for our faith and what I've been learned lately is kind of going back to the one day at a time. Live a simple simple life and you know what our ultimate goal while I think as humans were all built in made no matter what you believe. We're here for connection and I think we're here to connect with the other. Humans and connect with God and the Bible says again to reverse the Bible says our number one the calling is to love God and love people and so actually think it's just as simple as that thing. Is You know to kind of sum it up. I I think it's just love people into love God and to connect and obviously there's a lot of layers under that and there's a lot of confusion Asian and a lot of you know the twenty twentieth century. I think there's a lot of fog. Ns around what are you know what our purposes and all this and that and I think we as humans is also we put we put we wrap a purpose around a career or a rapa purpose around a relationship when we wrap purpose around you know a dynamic with a family or anything like that and we say well. My purpose is to be a good dad. My purpose is to be a husband and my purpose is to be a song writer or artist and you have pets fry. But I don't think ultimately all this all that's just the fun activities along the way or you know. I think I still think all that kind of ordained signed by God and I think that we're that is part of our purpose but the ultimate purpose I think for us being on earth is especially as believers is to love God into love. Love your neighbor to show them the love of God so I don't know I think that's at least that's for me. That's that's where I kind of try to go back to try to get keep that perspective on a daily basis especially in our busy crazy life where we think so. Many things are important. This is important. GotTa take this meeting to write this song. Got Us on this artist. GotTa do this play. These shows better to Donna's like man. Let's not forget the big picture here like ultimately when we pass away when people are at our funeral talking bass what do we want them talking about. How will we love people in my opinion and not how many songs we wrote for how many shows we played or how much money we made? I think it's I think that can sometimes sometimes turn into turn you know distract us from the ultimate purpose totally. Yeah having that human experience is I agree with him. All that other stuff is just you just do and stuff you know yet. Being Nice to people love one another and give to one another and you know like I said it's like it all just kind of feeds itself and I get. I get reminded of that often. When like I'll just take time to go have coffee with someone one or maybe like help somebody out off like it's just like Oh this is Anita day-to-day and I'll actually go do that and I feel so fulfilled and so whole and so so that was the best stanhood today and maybe it didn't maybe it didn't pay me or maybe it didn't you know maybe I don't have anything to physically physically show for it but made my heart was full and I can tell? That's what my purpose for that day was and so I think just keeping that perspectives is important and yeah. I've just been reminded that often lately just through little experiences and things I've had it's just like okay like although I try the to strike this week. Probably constant strike right totally. Why do you think we have to go through painful experiences? Why does that? Why is that such a part of this human existence? Why do we have to fail? Why do we have to feel pain? Wise that essential for us as humans. And why is it. Inevitable won't be but that's the way this whole life has been designed of course five lead higher power to me when I do go through hard things things. It helps me have empathy for other people that are going through hard things and I find myself when I do need to be there for someone else. I refer back to to the time when I had a really difficult time and so empathy and the the But again I don't I don't know I don't you know it'd be Nice if God put us in a perfect world and there was no pain and there was no sadness and there was no but then again we'd be living in a row very robotic world. Wherever will what did you learn? I mean when you when you go through pain you go through hard times. You're always learning something and it's always a fake building for me. It's it's a lot about fake building. You know what I mean and actually having to Lean on God and trust him in no man we as humans can't even wrap our head around what gods do and like we can't even begin to fathom like his ultimate purpose and plan and I think I think it just creates a demand for Jesus to be honest you know the hard times in life and and the way that he can give us peace. When there's no reason reason to be peaceful or or you know what I'm saying? Give us a comfort in Tom's. If you know Thomson need or times of pain and you know for me me. I've experienced that in a few times in life. Were just like okay God like I know you're here I know you're with me. I can feel I can feel you comforting me giving me peace and letters that I I it just. It's hard to explain but it does feel like okay. I should be so upset right now and I am sad but like like when I lost my dad I feel like it was a moment where I kinda prayed right after our God like I need you right now like hardcore and I'm either going to go this way. I'm going to go that way and I really WANNA. It's usually when I really wanted to go this direction. So help me out and like I prayed that prayer almost instantly and I could truly feel like almost out just almost smile all about it and it lasted for a while and it was still a journey for sure especially like months after that you know of just the healing process and the grief and all that but I could just feel God with me and I think to go back and kind of talk about what Michael is saying earlier about being a parent right now. I feel like you can kind of get the perspective of our relationship with God because it says that everybody on Earth is a child a son a son or daughter of God and to be able to take that perspective now of Man. He'll do anything for me like he's gotten he wants to take care of me. He wants to protect me when when we fallen unheard our knees or whatever the case may be. He's going to be there to help us feel better. He's going to be there to to help heal. But if you didn't follow her knees he's you'd have no need for your dad so I feel like there's a big there's an underlying kind of I think God uses that to draw into him. You know what I'm saying. That also gives us more faith in it. Encourages us to have to rely on him 'cause sometimes I've been there a few times in life where you hit the bottom and you're like look I got nowhere else to go but but but a I mean like I'm GonNa Trust God here and see what happens. I hear I hear you. I hear he's a good father. I hear he's GonNa take care of us and all this stuff so I'm going to test it out ended up any does so the bottom is actually kind of a blessing. Sometimes yeah I do you know. I think it's a it's an eye opening experience for anybody and you. You realized man. I'm not in control. I need help which we all do. You know what I mean and I'm not invincible. All and I'm not as strong as I think I just all those things. It's very humbling. So whether it's you know I think that many different definitions hitting the bottom. But you know you lose your best friend or your dad or your brother or anybody. That's that feels pretty close to the bottom. I had over this. You know what I mean So anyway place. Yeah I think again. I think it's just part of God's purpose and plan to draw US closer to him. I totally agree with that. Think about the father perspective. Like man that's wild. I've been listening just share messages lightly this even like the simplest things like that reminds odds me okay like like as a parent. Now we know like we would never we will never let our kids go out in the cold without clothes on or yeah. If they're if they're doing something we would do anything for kids anything and I feel like to have that perspective and realize man. That's that's what God will do for us and probably even more you know what I mean like. He did do that for us. So it's like okay. Let me just try to wrap my head around this level of love that sometimes we forget about you know because it's not it's not a tangible earn always audible thing right in front of us you know what I mean like. Obviously we're there to wake up every morning and in God's not always done in our living room shake and has to wake up but at the same time Tom. In retrospect I feel like he can. Is You know so if you can have that mentality and know that that's the relationship that is designed between us as humans in Him as God. I feel like it just helps you stay in that mindset totally next about that enough rambling. Yeah so okay. I WanNa talk a little bit about marriage and parenthood did not interested to hear your perspective to how what has been the most eye opening thing that you have learned about your Mayo. Start with marriage. I forget into motherhood and fatherhood what has been the thing that has changed the most in in your marriage in our marriage since having a kid for the better and not worse because none of its worst but like things that you've realised. Oh Gosh I need to work on this and I didn't have to work on it before a child but then also what has been the most incredible happened since having a child within your marriage you know since having kids you do lose a little bit of that freedom but we get closer together at the same time and can you really have to work together and and you know we've hit points where we get to that that low point of like. Oh my gosh. I'm struggling and what do I need right now. Like I need you here. I don't know have you found that you had been being because you said like that lesson you learnt earlier marriages you had to learn how to voice what your needs were. Have you found that you needed needed to do that now. The mom totally. I think just being intentional about what my needs are and what I need. Because I can't expect Taylor to know what to do vice versa and I think being a mom. You just have extra little intuitions that maybe a dad doesn't naturally we have and that they want to help you know they're they're they're wanting to help they just don't know how and so when you guys too but it's different. It's a mother instinct for for knowing what they're needing when they're eating and to the point where boobs tingle when the milk comes in and we're like we need to feed the baby. Thank tangle every now and then so just just being intentional with our time together and our needs and communicating communicating is huge for us and when I stopped stop communicating and I can tell you can what happens. Oh my Gosh I get emotional. Like what's going on. Why am upset? I'm like Oh because I haven't communicated I'm feeling and at least you have wariness to realize that right so you know that now like when you start feeling can you catch yourself. You're like oh I need so then how do you communicate. Do like. Write down your thoughts. You'll have like a family meaning or do you like how does it. How do you take the time to get your needs out wherever ever? We can't let me wherever we can make time for it in our crazy schedule we say. Hey we gotta talk Now I do make time for that talk to you. Whenever you feel like it I feel like trying to fall asleep? You anywhere around bedtime stories or you're catching watching him like sleeping in the brand places sleep pretty good just about anywhere if I'm frustrated about something and he's passing out there. There is no way he's sleeping right now. I will say like I think with kids it. Just it. Requires you to be more intentional. Because there's so many more things are juggling so you know literally will end another sounds a little bit surface level but like for us our calendars or like a really useful tool for us to be intentional. Like if if we stay on our calendar will go check our calendars. If we don't have a date night on the books you know within a week or so that will put it on there and we're pretty good about something on the calendar or on our schedule we're going to we're going to do it. It's almost like our checklist you know and even if we have something that comes up that that we would like to do behind talked about yet we have a little system in place where it's like we'll put it on the counter so we both see it and we'll put a question mark because that means we gotta talk about it before we remove the question mark so that way she adults do something say Titan game on Sunday and she like. We're not going to the Titans Games. Like what did you say that question mark because we talked about it yet so let's discuss it down. Just a complete guys never really happened but yeah it'd be a motocross race or something but anyway so so like just little you know being intentional about seddon little things in place that worked for for each relationship I think is is key and nothing having the kids really makes it extra important. Because you're as you guys know like you can. You can just go weeks and weeks and just be so busy and feel like Manhattan had one second second to sit down with you and have any time. We hadn't made the time you know what I mean like let's payroll calendar. Let's go on a date night. Let's go on a picnic even with the kids but you know just whatever the need is it helps you. It helps you voice that and implement and make it happen. You know I'm trying into make time for myself talking with my therapist. And you've got to get out of the House for thirty minutes a day and just go do something for you and so I just go to starbucks and I start writing a journal and that's like my loan time and so I can feel full when I come back to the house. Certainly I feel like I got my time. I got filled up and I can be my best or try. Be My best for the family. And I'll let's touch on this and then I'll quit much but I will say balance is key like in our life in every week. I look at a week and I said all right to have a balanced week need to have meantime. I need to have us on. Need to have a whole family time. I need to have workdays songwriting days. I need to you know. There's a lot of things but I gotTa make sure I need to have my workout like all the things that make my week hole. According to how much time with God like one on one time God I need you know what I mean so interesting making sure you have it all. You know what I'm saying. And if each piece is twenty percent or so I mean I I can can probably put it all in the five or six categories the. Yeah I gotTa have all that to be a full week into be whole and do not fill out a balance so it Kinda just go look at the counter and we've got a date nights. Got My Wednesday morning. Jesus while government Tuesday Thursday workouts and my wife come on Monday Wednesday or Friday workouts. Boys got the you know two days of songwriting. In writing that eleven o'clock I got a couple of meetings. You know what I'm saying like just to make sure you're getting the and it's also I mean but then at the same time I wanNa have I wanna live a life. It creates freedom so we're not completely living by the schedule so sometimes will literally put in the calendar. A free day where it's like. Don't book anything we're going to. They were the wind blows his day in a mind blowing up the farm dirt bikes. I don't know it might blow Percy Warner Park on high like or we might just. It might rain. We might stay in the house all okay. So I think there's a beauty in that too and you create freedom and create spontaneity but scheduled it. Then you make sure that your balance balance because balance is bells. Yes I love that. How do you think our marriage has changed for the better? Or what have we struggled with James for the better refreshing to it. You know so. We're still it's just now we'll see if coming up for air let's popped up. That has been a strong accent that the other. Why do you feel like has been something that you've had to wrap your head around good in a hard as a new parent as a parent on on upping the hardest bounce selfishness? 'cause like we've been together a long time and the life that we live and think that it it definitely definitely caters to you being selfish and just all about you you know so. I think that's been an adjustment for me with her. Is You know finding that balance of like okay. I mean it kind of comes naturally because you want to be with them and you want you know it's thing but I mean watching you become a mother has been inspiring hiring because you just make it look easy you know thank you it in. That's cool what I'm because I'm really just there to help you know but you've cooked every single meal events events the Nice role. He's become the show Hobby House. You've really eight dance with great wealth You're putting it into food but that's thing if me cooking in you know doing all that helps you while you're feeding every three or four hours and you take the night shifts. I'll take the mornings you know it's like we have a balance of ecosystem that we've just gotten to the agreement worse so we're happy so you were able to get out of the House today for a few hours. Respond sat there this morning. And you know took care of her then and you're you know you're let me out of the House. Okay do tonight when we go to the bar together though is like we do everything together like you and I would always go everywhere together and now we don't think we're we're still adjusting that's going to change for me though is like I used to go anywhere all the time. Do everything constantly. And now it's like really like I have to find a babysitter or higher the night nurse to come which is a blessing that we have these people at our right. I mean you have to really prepare to leave that's so true you back to your calendar and scheduling just. You just got to think about your weeks or months a little bit you know ahead of time and because back in the day there's a beauty about being newly married or just freedom all the time and say man we gotta worry about by this week like Napa. Let's do we want to do that day. And it's it's a lot of fun but when the kids come along it just requires that if you WanNa have healthy you got to be on schedule. Some people subscribe to that some people do. But it's just like well that's I have to make that a priority now version of a little bit of time. You know it's not forever. Yeah I mean we did the thing where we were married for five years before we decided to have a kid we are together ten years we tin. Yeah but when we forever he was twenty one. That's why I'm twenty. Four am older too much fine. Everyone Oh lord got to the point where we're GONNA do now. It's time and I think that's important for people when they get married. I mean you do what you want to do. But I think it's important to have at that time in the beginning to yourself. You know because like you do things like either. Buy a house together. And your career combining all these things and there's an adjustment period because our lives have been used to being us junior mean ah learnt how to weather all sorts of like storms together before we had kids. So it's like and now even if things get really intense or hard or we're gonNA season like right in our very intense season with a newborn but it's like are we already know every single little nook and cranny of each other's personality how interact together so it's like almost I don't worry about surviving heart thanks to you because we've already survived so many hard things together. I will say something that popped up for me. I'll just speak struggle. That had him with the beginning was I felt like you could continue living your life as normal normal exactly as a the mom in like obviously breastfeeding every three hours in like someone has to be there with the baby all the time I felt like I will never leave this house again. I will never be able to get out of this house. You can just leave you know so that was something I had to learn Tau to help it. Did you know that it's not doing it on purpose. But what are you GONNA do. Sit there with this whole day while we yes tyler and like I just need you to be here with me and sit very well. The ten minutes is all you get and then I gotta move but it took me so long to realize that frustration like oh my gosh. He gets to continue his life he gets to go to work gets in the morning. I'm still recovering. Can't work out yet. I'm breastfeeding my body. Is Not what it was. My pants. Don't fit nothing. And so he tells US emotional emotional staff and and we were on tour in the middle of tour. That's true so you just jump right back into being on the road. Yeah and I'm like. Oh I miss being on the road I WANNA go on the tour and how do I get back to that. But it's like how do you write it. It does feel like oh my gosh. What am I ever going to get out but I I mean thank God for our texts that we have going on with the girls and as crucial to have an extra guy so the same having guy friends? You're new to urge dad. A support group of female going through the same things has been so important for me Forgot we do the same thing I mean I've been out to to your farm is like did I just need a needed. This like Haley and I like. We're not going to go to farm all day from morning tonight because we can't wait against like that that I like four to six weeks like a shift in the change and everybody's going through I mean we're going through changes to you and what are you. What was it? Change what and what made you well. It's like this. Is it like that. You're just you you have to have. Everybody has to have a grace period. I think if adjustment to like big live and things like marriage kids kids huge career. Things like it you gotta just. Nobody gets it just like that. I don't think that can be one thing that I that I felt in this Kinda alike just to change perspective a little bit like for us as dudes you have your wife. It's like for the most part you know Alad for highly. She live from it and it was like it was all about us like you said as soon as that baby comes. Mom is all about baby all of a sudden husband Kinda gets pushed society which is okay and that's expected but it definitely takes him adjustment. You know what I'm saying in this kind of art you gotTa have grace on that just like you gotTa have grace on us. That is true. I mean very much so you know kind of at least felt that way where it's like. Yeah like if I'm on tour with me and it's amazing I get to have my my wife with me all the time and you know we love that but as soon as becomes it's like all right babies number one now and so you kinda get and even to the point of like you know Halo would cook meals highly. Do things will all of a sudden. It's like that just takes kind of a back seat. You know what I mean the priorities shift and change and for dudes and we. We don't have enough time or energy to do. We don't expect. Yeah I mean I see it. I'm like you know props to all women who had a baby because it's just Jeez. I don't see how y'all do but at the same time like hobbies said there's an adjustment for you ask for us you know how do you that like that. I have kind of not well. We're leaving in the same bed right now. 'cause I sleep with Sonny's room on an mattress on the floor positively. TV's in that it is truly felt bad that we aren't as like intertwined as we have been the past ten in years of our marriage. You know what's interesting about. US without the other day in. I don't feel anything towards it because to me. It's just that's what it is and it's not GonNa last rush separate that yeah it doesn't it. It's not like I'm like what's going on with our marriage now. It just seems like since the baby's here it's over but fuck man you're raising a kid feeding it every four hours waking up good on you for sleeping in the room on a little Palette you know and doing matt from midnight to six. Am You know. That's but I think he's motherly. Serve Breakfast in the morning for that. It might be because I need to have more faith or whatever but like I. It's like I have. It's fear that makes me want to do that. I'm so worried about her all the time. 'cause she's my number we want you know read. That's very common with a woman in the first child but then you look at like some friends of ours or like my sister-in-law. She's got five. I've got five kids Christmas time. There she was born in April she was just like four weeks. Oh there's kids running around and I was just like where's the new baby and she just late on the floor and the Dan on a worry about it like if she's not gonNa Roll it's just think it all changes how's your. I'm sure it's different for you guys now with a second one in the first one and like you said it's just a chapter. It's just a phase you're going to get your life back that you're gonNA get your marriage. The dynamic that it was a lot more he'll go get my brain back the brains ever coming up is rare win and on. Yeah I forget what I'm saying. It's looked at home I left Michael is the baby. We're always I yesterday today. I was going to get my lashes done because they're trying to like you know. Keep some your girl and I left my go with the baby and I forgot my the phone and I was like oh no panicking. I was like what. If he can't hand something happens you have breakdown in need me. But then I'm like he's he's her dad he's GonNa be fine. You're only capable enjoy the time with. No I know but it is. It says a learning curve. You've been a great. This is Michael Seven. He's always like it's all good pretty good. I think say to and I think you are doing amazing and I think it's amazing to have friends in the same chapter. That's why it's so fun to hang out with like new parents who are trying to bounce it off you know and I will say like along. The same lines is like. I think there's a lot to be said about asking for help. And not being ashamed of that and I don't mean necessarily having a nanny per se thank you can if you have the financial ability to get any. That's is incredible but if you don't I still think you gotta use your resources in your friends and your family around you to give you those days where it's like. Hey guys like like for me inhalers. I go. We're taking two days and we're going on a trip like the babies are GonNa be fun. We'll leave him with somebody. Here's the milk. Here's the deal. Here's how we put them to bad like in just trump's gonna work because trusting. Yeah Trust is hard but I think that's another thing about having kids just. Yeah well yeah I mean you don't WanNa you you don't WanNa go on get a babysitter dot com and just let your baby stay with anybody but I think he your thing but even we're talking about the other day like there's so many of our friends that we love and all her friends of ours that maybe their kids are grown or whatever and I'd love to come over and watch the baby for a day or I'd love to accept their hope exactly. I really think that's you know I think that's important as parents as hard as it may be just leaning gene in on that a little bit with your with your friends and with your family You know our family doesn't live in town so it makes a little harder but I can. I can name five people right now. That would love love to come over in or we could literally drop live and Luca off at their house for two or three days I think and that would be cool with it and So I think that's that's also something to take into consideration as a new parent. It's not saying that it's not hard because I do think leaving. Your kids is especially first time and I think is a mom me personally. I feel I don't you know it's the mom guilt that everyone talks about. It's a real thing and teddy struggle that especially because we you know having any and you know I'll be downstairs in my office and I hear them having having fun upstairs and like oh I should be there or I hear them crying. And I'm like oh I should go do that and I mean I have to kind of make myself be like no. Oh Hey this is what I need to be doing later. It can be present with them But there's still struggle definite guilt that I'm just like oh my gosh I I should be there. I should be making those memories of them. I should take them to the park which we do. But you know and I can't be there for them all the time because then I can't be my best self but it's that constant struggle when I'm not with them I want to be with them and then when I'm with them you need to find time for you. Yeah so just finding that balance again. Just something we're learning. It's it is a real thing to learn. It's it's very very easy to like. Go hard one or the other way you know working moms to like. I have a ton of friends who had newborns and gone back to work and like having to have their their nanny fulltime care. You know it's like but they need to work and so it's just it's just you have to accept so much to the parent and I talked briefly about this on previous podcast my roommate's but like when we ended up choosing having a C. section like. That was a really hard thing thing for me to wrap my head around the beginning because I felt guilty. I'm so hormonal smitten. Cry that like I wasn't having natural labor bailing. No Way I can cry. The it actually is a real topic. Ring Hits a personal I. It's like I call my sister and she was like the faster you can Dan. Sorry busy the faster you can accept that parent is not perfect in like you gotta make a decision and stand by it. Am I know that like they're all fine decisions. You know everything is fine. There's not a wrong. There's not a right and just make your choice. Feel good about it and then don't go back and let the question and that is such a struggle for me to question myself. I in my previous life before child I could just question everything a million I could analyze everything. I think think I used the wrong thing. Worry so much like I should have done this or should not or like. Oh my gosh. This person's upset with me. Because I did this but like I know my heart is good I yeah no. I'm choosing the best I can and now as a parent you have to stand by that and you can't like question. It grew for like saying those things because a lot of times. We have such such negative self-talk. And for you to be saying I know I'm a good mom you know I can do. This is so huge. The mets ca self Taibbi huge. I've recently tapped into self talk. I didn't even know until like this. Year Michael Chandler Donald Michael Chandler enemy fighter sort of for instance. He always talks about self-talk and I didn't even know how bad myself talk was until I started checking in on it tells where the hardest ourselves in anybody. Yes allergist like riddle to myself. I am saying whatever you follow it with Don't follow it with negativity. Check yourself the mom guilt thing is weird to think from our culture and our society. I think it also changes like even with like breastfeeding verse pumping you know nanny versus. There's not having any like all the not working right. It's like man like just just do your best know that you're a great mom and don't don't compare your situations or listen to a cultures telling you because honestly in ten years coaches say the opposite anyways. It's like nowadays. Thanks leave your back before so many things that you could be guilty from refill that you know even you know. I'm obviously not a mom so I don't really know but I- I'll just say just from observing from announced such perspective is like it's real and it's just. It's kind of sad that our culture puts so much pressure on moms and so many expectations. And if you don't do this then you're bad well it's like you said there's not a writer overall of how many months she breastfeed or there's not a right or wrong on a lot of times I should do it in public or not your average natural so anyways autism encourage all moms to do and to have confidence in no. It's different for everybody. You know so then there is no wrong or right wrote it is hard. That's really hard to do that. But I've been trying to lately. My motto is just been kind of to to celebrate the little victories. Even if it's got out of bed and I brush my teeth got makeup on before the kids got up to a miracle. I did it out the door on time and the kids are dressed in those little things like yes we did it uh-huh so it's the little victories. That are actually the big victories. And I've been trying to really just encourage those instead of at the end of the day being like. What did I get done today in kind of being down to myself? It's like no we a lot because sometimes at the end of the day. I really can't tell you one thing I did besides just keep signing alive in theater and like you were there all day. I don't really have the time and wearing the sweatpants I wore last night to sleep like brush my hair or teeth and I'm like well. I'm just expose exhausted busy all day but yeah you have to be alive. That's a huge job. Yeah it and and so we don't give ourselves enough credit for those. Yeah well you guys really hit a lot of time. Oh ooh I like trump every podcast up with leave your light so just leave some inspiration of obviously they were this whole thing's inspiring. We're talking months bar things but like how do you want to inspire people to let some wisdom on people just to spread some light. Here's mine just that. Hit me right when you said that this kind of along the topics of what we're saying but I think whether you're parent whether you're not whether you're remarried whether you're not you know wherever phase alive. I think there's a I don't think we give ourselves enough grace. I really think that's that's important. Because like you said the self talk and all that stuff like you can be so hard on yourself so I think is just giving yourself grace a main if Jesus can be can give us so much we give it to ourselves. You know what I mean. Give cut ourselves some slack. Every now and then and don't be so hard on the self so there's a a little light negative for either I guess mine would be Just to I I guess we said this before. But just remember that God's in control and to just take that weight off of your shoulders so true and and just live your life and enjoy it and not be fearful. Because he's he's got us. That's so hard not to do so true so hard. It's yeah you just have to constantly remind yourself l. from that every day. It's this amen to that I guess mine will be comic said before this is my personal struggle. Is this owning my decisions. Like trusting myself and trusting my instincts. Socially now's a new mom like a half did house instincts so I would say like trust your intuition. Trust your instincts and know that if your hearts in the right place and you're doing your best then don't go back and over analyze it and beat yourself up just know that like you did the very best. She can do what you felt like you were led to do and then you have to let it go. They have to do you got this thing. I Tyler the grace thing. I think that's really important but you know one thing always try to do. Every day is say thankful for things that I don't have anything for Thanksgiving. Do you speak that out loud. You speak that all in and then find gratitude not at least once a day take a deep breath and find gratitude and something in. It'll change today but yet I'm always been a believer that you know your journeys it's not someone else's your you know what I mean your own your own path and plan so something doesn't happen for you don't mourn over it gets move onto the next thing but just just be thankful for everything that he puts in your life and got takes out of your life because that's the way it's supposed to be totally awesome good. Well I just want to say before we get finished here then we look up to you guys. Some guys are incredible parents and incredible friends and incredible people. And so just encourage you guys a little bit. We Love Y'all so much to you guys a lot and thank you for having us on your podcast at Y'all credible examples of all things. Thanks very inspiring. So we're grateful to have you guys in our lives. Thanks for sharing your heart on this podcast native coming on. Hey thanks for coming on okay bye.

Haley Haley Tyler Hubbard Michael Hayley Tom Louis Graham Helper bobby bones Caroline Hobby Nashville Michael Caroline Hobby caroline hobby Michael Hobby Apple. Mike California Michael Kaley Florida
Mid-Week Mom Chat: Traveling w a baby!

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

31:59 min | 1 year ago

Mid-Week Mom Chat: Traveling w a baby!

"Hey Caroline Hobby here. Did you know that your skin hair nails and connective tissues are all made from college. Ancient and multicultural protein supports healthy. Skin joint health a healthy gut and healthy healthy nails and it's a flavourless powder. You can put in a glass of water or your coffee get ten dollars off out. Ancient Nutrition Dot Com using my Promo Code Hobby. That's a special offer for our listeners. In a simple support our show get ten dollars of ancient nutrition dot com. Just use the Promo Code Hobby. Ancient Nutrition Dot Com Promo Code Hobby and these statements have not been evaluated. By the Food and Drug Administration this product is not intended to diagnose treat cure or prevent any disease. What up friends? Okay this midweek mom chat is on traveling with your baby chaplain with the baby. Because Oh my God. I had so much stress I wanted to cry. Oh I did cry. Wait Pop Because I have anxiety about everything because I'm a new mom and I've just started to realize that I am not one of those cool. New moms is just so nothing bothers me and my baby to be around tons of sick kids and airplanes will people coughing offing and grab food off the floor and eat it. Although she's not eating food she's still only eating milk but not stress about it like I know. I'm the one who goes to on an airplane and my kid gets around people sneezing and she shows up around kid and I called my pediatrician crying. Because I I am going to worst case scenarios and freaking out and I hate that I am that way because it creates image anxiety in me but I am and I will tell you every step forward I have taken was sonny like this. I travel experience at so much anxiety about what to pack for her getting her. How are we gonNA travel through the airport poorer? Harrigan sit in the plane. Is She gonNA cry all time. Her ear is GonNa hurt. Do I have all the things that she needs. So she doesn't lose it and if she does lose it why be able to like calmer down and what does she has a blowout poop. Blow out a weight. She did she poop through her entire onesie biggest explosion she's ever had at the airport It's funny though you know. It's great how to change clothes awesome. Everything's fine you know what it was all find because what I have realized is the more you can just do things. Oh and then also like. I've been on on a strict schedule because she's been sleeping through the night and all of a sudden now. We're going to be traveling in airplanes and cars and different timeframes and she can't get her naps it. And what if she doesn't get her full nap and what she isn't going to she gonNa stop sleeping through the night. Is She going to be crying all the time. Is it going to be a disaster Ah All that stuff control control. Control Control is what I'm screaming. I need control. I need control and you control. Give me control. But you can't have control control all the time if you're going to get involved in life so that's where we are getting involved in life. We had the first three months where I feel like we kinda posted up. Hit hit away in the house started creeping out slowly around month to and you know getting more in the car. You're going places every now and then but still trying to save very strict on the mat on the NAP schedule. Not really going to many places wanted her to be home for her bedtime at seven thirty. Get a bath every night but when you're traveling and going to see family and gone on planes and going to do whatever you need to do. We'll obviously even if you have other kids like. I just have one kid so I can keep Rana scheduled pretty much but if you have other kids kinky Birkenau schedule because they've got practices asap you gotta go to. They've got to pick them up from school. They have all sorts of things that are happening in their lives. And what they're GONNA do. Leave your baby at home while you go get your kids from school. No you're GonNa Start Your baby in the car and they're gonNA come with you and that's just the way it's going to be and they're going to figure out how to adjust so anyway. This was such a good trip for me. Michael and sunny did amazing. They were perfect. I was a wreck. The whole time. with the beginning of it and then by the end of it I had totally relaxed so I made a list of everything that sunny needs to travel. And I know you'll are going to ask me for this list so I I am going to post this up in stories right now and I'm going to put it on my Highlight reel under sunny. So if you you want to find this travel as it will be on my highlight reel under sunny okay. So you're gonNA probably sent me messages. Where's the list whereas the list that's where it is? All my highlight highlight reel understanding so I put. Here's what I traveled with and honestly I feel like kind of nailed it with packing for her. You have to have some sort of certificate that shows they are so we had our vaccine report and then we packed her stroller and our car seat and we packed our base also because we knew ordinary Henry driving in the car lot and with a stroller system that we have we have up a baby. You don't have to have a base you can just attach the car seat without the base. But we don't want to do that says we're going to be in the car so much. We packed the base. And we checked the base and then we'd put her in her car seat and then we put that in the rolling stroller part and we push that. Yeah through the airport and then we took the car seat out when we got to the plane and we checked the stroller part like the rolling in part and we just carried the car seat on. And it's the plane's not full which we were flying southwest. We just put the car seat in in the seat next to you have have to put it by the I O. I didn't know that you've got to put me by the window. Got To put the car seat by the window. Let the plane's not full just put your baby in the carseat and put it by the window and I promise you nobody is going to want to sit by you anyway. And so if there's an open seat just put your babies carseat there because who wants to sit by. Have you have an option to sit anywhere other other than next baby. You're going to so people aren't GonNa sit there anyway so I did not feel bad having an extra seat when the plane was full. So that's what we did. So we check Dr Stroller. Roller scare the carseat on and it was great and we we check checked the base and we got it at baggage claim and that was great and then I packed her monitor. Her her sound machine. I am religious about putting her alad on her foot which monitors her breathing and heart rate. Oh that's just a little super obsessive. Mommy thing that I do you. You don't have to have an outlet they are Kinda Pricey. They're like almost four hundred dollars. I think but to me that was one of the greatest purchases and gifts that I have gotten because it gives them peace of mind I can look at it. Her her breathing and her Heart rate on my phone and there's also this Green Bay slight right that when it's green. She's breathing well. Everything's normal and if it if something goes wrong a big red alarm goes off and so it just gives me peace of mind to be able to go to sleep because I have such a hard time sleeping. I would have such a hard time sleeping if I didn't know that there was something that would wake me up if something went wrong with breathing and obviously it's a machine and not everything is one hundred percent but it gives me a lot of peace of mind so we'll pack the monitor the machine at the pack and play And then I didn't packer hacker playmate. I just packed a blanket and then I packed her. She has this little elephant. That sings a little song and lights up. That's on the planet so I packed that and they've had this near that she she likes to look at in a pack a few toys and I didn't actually pack the full play Matt but it worked fine. I just made a blanket down and put a little toys around and is great great for playmate packed. Swat burp cloths onesies Like I said blankets a towel. forbath although we we didn't give her but one bath and five days because it was just too hard to give her a bath But like Basso Lotion brush if you WANNA brush her babies. He's here but we don't really need to then impact pump. My Pump Bra Which I use simple wishes a lot of guys? Assets Pump Bri user u simple wishes A packed my milk bottles and caps. I packed I think for the past five bottles and I think that was the right amount for me about five bottles And then I packed my pump parts. I packed one bag of frozen milk. Because I wasn't sure how much supply I was going to hold up and it held up great and then I brought a full bottle with me For the plane and then I packed I'm a bottle warmer and then a sponge washer to wash the bottles off and then bottle soap and then diapers and wipes and it. It was great those everything we needed. What I carried on on the plane was her stroller? And then my obviously my baby bag which which had an extra change of extra ones before her it had diapers. It has Passi. It has a few little teething toys in there Wipes keeps it has I have this so I have a like a a waterproof wet bag or something. I don't know exactly what it's called. It's like it zips up and you can put anything wet in there and it won't leak out and I'm so glad I did. Because she had a blowout poop explosion at the airport and her clothes were drenched. If you look at my instagram you can see it completely. Drenched poop and it was hilarious areas and I went. I had to go in the changing station which I also have a changing pad like one of those portable ones that you can lay out on top of stuff and you can change major baby anywhere. It's like a fold up and you can travel with it. I'm so glad I did. Because the changing station in the bathroom was disgusting there was like white flaky. Cressey stuff all over. It made me throw up but what are you do. You have no option. I lay down the changing pad and then I changed her blow out onesie and then I Put The changing aging pad and the ones in the wet bag when I was done with it zipped it up so is like all that Gross Discussing pooping contaminated pad had was now zipped up in. This what Baxter didn't have to get on all the other clean and then I packed a blanket and my carry a little Barefoot Dreams Blanket. Thank it in my bag because because she got cold or I could put it over her carseat when we're sleeping in the car. If she needs a little little darkness to make it a little dark. And then I had a portable sound machine. Just like a little portable sound machine that is battery operated that is tied onto her carseat and actually either on her carseat all the time and that helps calmer down and helps her to go sleep so I had that as well and that is pretty much all that we pay. Oh and I have have one of those It's a car seat cover. It's you put it over your car seat. I don't know what it's called and like it fits perfectly of your car seat and it kind of makes it just like a turtle. Shell covers the baby and it just makes it like a little cocoon in there and I put that over there so it protects wchs from germs in the airport. I mean more than not having it and it also keeps the light out so that was what I packed and I felt like it was great. I carried on a full bottle so I fed her right before we went and she had a full meal right before we got on the plane and then I fed led her. I think at the airport and on the plane and tip that I learned was sunny. Amazingly doesn't have sensitive sensitive ears like her ears did not get stopped up and she didn't like cry because that's why babies cry is because the pressure taking off and landing really hurts your ears. Sonny's didn't so I'm so thankful for that. But a tip is breastfeed or bottle. Feed your baby during takeoff and landing because that keeps their mouth moving popstar ears for them and so we did do that the first flight and she was fine and then I didn't do it coming landing because she was asleep in my arms and I just WanNa wake her up and she slept right through it and then the flight home. We didn't even. I didn't put a bottle in her mouth and took off and she was fine and I didn't put the ball in her mouth when we landed in interest fine but that is a tip that a bunch of my mom told me so. If your baby has sensitive ears definitely breastfeed or bottle feed take off and landing so then we got in the car and we got our luggage and sunny ended up just like napping where she could and it was fine. She did finding the car she might. I've got a little fussy like trying to get comfortable in her car seat because she has not really been in a car seat that much because she isn't crazy. OCD MOM that doesn't leave the house But she degrade and what I realized I had some big revelations on this trip is that babies can't we'll get they're hungry they're going to let you know and they're going to eat and if they're tired they're gonNA close her eyes and they're going to take and so she got her caps whenever she could in the car or or if we were home at my sister and brother in law's House I put her in the in her little pack and planes. You take a nap there but like I just didn't stress out about it too much. The only thing that I made sure sure I did do was sheets five bottles a day of six ounces. I breastfeed her in the morning. So a bunch of you guys acid. I'm still breastfeeding. I am breastfeeding one. Time and breastfeed in the morning at seven when she wakes up our breastfeed her until she doesn't want to breastfeed which is only like ten minutes. She'll breastfeed and then I told her off the bottle and social normally take like three or four ounces after she finishes breastfeeding so high that lets me know that. She's getting about three ounces breastfeeding and so then the rest she'll get on the bottle so the only thing that was important to me when we were traveling was that she got her five bottles of six ounces because that is how your baby grows that is higher baby stays not fussy. That has higher baby sleeps through. The night is getting all of their milk that they need in my opinion again getting all all their milk that they need so I just gauged everything off of her five bottles. I was like okay. We're going to try to get the naps. Where could I tried to get that first? I nap if I could cause her. I NAP is two hours long so she ends up sleeping five hours a day. If she's on a schedule shall wake up at seven. Have a bottle go back to sleep around around eight thirty and then she'll normally like two hours and then she'll wake up again and have another bottle and then she'll go down to sleep for two more hours usually from like one thirty to three thirty and then she'll wake up and then we'll have another bottle and then she'll take a quick little nap. Maybe around forty five a forty five minute or hour nap and then she'll have another bottle and then I'll give her a bath and get ready for bed and then she'll have one more bottle around like six thirty six forty five before she goes to sleep between link seven and seven thirty so my goal was everyday just make sure she gets those five bottles around the same time that she normally beginning them. Whether or not we've had our baked good naps and then I would try to get that first big morning nap in which was like two hours. Try to get that one and then the rest of them. I just let her grab naps wherever we could one of them. I was at my mother-in-law's mother-in-law's house and I just had a holder for forty five minutes of my arms because we're hanging out talking on the couch and that's where she napped. Another one was in a car when we're driving to go see another family friend. Another one was Just the usually they're in the car or on an airplane should grab a quick on the airplane when we're flying there's an hour flight so it's just like I just let go of the control of the naps and let her try to nap where she could and I realized that like she normally naps five hours hours. A day to naps or two hours each and then she's a quick hour nap or a forty five minute nap afternoon. So if I could get close to napping five hours a day day however she got those also high viewed it as like okay however she needs to get these hours great if she only gets four hours today. That's fine. We'll go to bed a little bit earlier like I just didn't stress out too much about it. So that's how I viewed it five bottles a day of steak Santa's made sure she got those all day and then if I could get that big morning nap i. I was super happy about that. If I couldn't then I just realized that if she could get close to sleeping five hours however she had to get it in the day. Then that's just how is going to be. Sunny was a champ. She was great. She did amazing. I had so much control issues and so much stress S. but finally by day three and thankfully we're with our family Michael's brother and his wife and their five kids and they're so laid back because I mean they have five kids come on they're not stress. You can't be super stressed and OCD. When you have five kids because life is happening at that point for the College Football Klay off as for teams battling back to back semifinal games I chain hurts looks to cap off his college career with another title as the Sooners Square Off with coach Joe Borough and the unbeaten. Sec Champion Tigers number four Oklahoma persist number one LA delays you the chick filet peach bowl at four eastern then Dabo Sweeney Trevor Lawrence and the unbeaten. ACC CHAMPION APN. Tigers begin their quest to repeat against Justin feels chase young and the undefeated. Big Ten champion Buckeyes number three Clemson the reigning national little chance again defensive for number two Mojo state. Justin feels in this. Offense can attack you in multiple ways. The police station Fiesta Bowl at eight eastern mark. The College Football Playoff semi finals December. Twenty eighth on ESPN and streaming live on the ESPN APP. And so it was really good for me to just be thrown into the mix of life travelling all the things letting go of control. And realizing how resilient zillion sunny is she was on the airplane around sick people coughing. She was fine. My sister-in-law had two kids who are actually getting over being having cold old of course is freaking out about that. They were fine. We just kept sunny at a healthy distance away from the kids. But it's like really can you so I I was freaking out. Call my pediatrician. A utrition leg. Oh my gosh. She's going to be an airplane. Mike my the nieces and nephews are coming off a cold. Like I'm freaking out. What do we do what we do? And he's like calm down now so many women in the nicest way he was like helping. Ease my pain. He's the best. He's the greatest pediatrician Arab so thankful for him He was like so many women at Sonny's at the point in Sonny's live are working under job where they can't work from home so they have to take their kids to daycare in the kids are exposed to everything day here. And he's like it's honestly it's good for their immunity to start building up and being exposed to germs. It's not a bad thing. Every Rica is going to get sick. It's going to be fine like just don't worry and so that was great. Tomato is that it's good for kids. Buron germs it's good to build immune system. Every kid is going to be sick. I don't have to go to this worst case scenario. Everything's just GonNa be like it's not gonna be as dramatic as I make uh-huh dislike you hear about everything that happens on the news. You know like you see on social media and you see on the news and you hear all these terrible things things that can go wrong and so when they're all in your head and you're an. OCD worried mother. You can't help but just like think about everything that could possibly happen. But you just can't stress about it. I mean you have to be responsible but then you have to let it go you know and so. That is what I learned on this trip. I learned the kids are resilient and that it is really great to get out in the world and to just not not were not so. It's small stuff like work hard. You can't keep him on the schedule. Give him the food that they need but then just let the rest flow. Okay guys. I'm I'm a talk a quick break. Got It no. That was put it on pause and I went and picked up sunny. So if you hear a little baby scream It's sunny because she's joining me now so here. Here are some questions that you guys have asked me about traveling with a baby. So I'm just GONNA run through some of them. Elena might already answered answered some of these just by rambling. But I'll just hit them up again briefly so I can make sure I cover all your cushioned. Yeah Sunny you got something to say okay. What is a must have while packing a bag for a baby A Reggie off my list so I honestly think all of them your bottles your pump your pack and play Your sound machine pretty much. I felt like every diapers pretty much. Everything that I listen to not what I read off earlier. I think you need but for the airplane. A change of clothes for sure for your baby diapers extra breast milk or formula. Whatever you're using Wipes toys to distract them. Irma's Passi okay Do you nurse public baby. Three months old refuses about I get nervous to feed even with a cover girl you rock rock that nursing and public sunny takes a bottle better and like I said earlier. I only breastfeed her in the mornings now. Just because that's what works for us but if I was breastfeeding I would force her one hundred percent nursing public. Actually for one of the airplane rides. She wouldn't take the bottle and she was crying a little bit and so I stopped my boob in in the middle of the airplane and try to breastfeed her. She didn't want it but I offered it to her with. No shame in that game when your baby is hungry and needs to feed you. Bust your boobs out and if somebody has a problem with it I am sorry I am one of those people that is like you can just go off by yourself. Because ain't nobody got time for that. You're feeding your child. That is the most beautiful thing you can do you for your child and if people have a problem with it then move along. I I literally have no I understand like in the past. Maybe women wasn't quite as open or we weren't in a time where women were women. Felt like they had to be more put. I Dunno perfect or things. You couldn't show the truth about being a mother you had to like. I don't I don't even Minoan. I'm trying to say but like this day and age. I feel like we're in such a beautiful time because we get to fully embrace all that is being a mom and we don't have to put on a front that everything's thanks perfect. We don't have to act like relieve it to beaver. dislike strand of pearls and petticoats. On like we can show ourselves and our friends and our an- in live in this world and I really be authentic and breastfeeding is beautiful and if people have a problem with it just just can't handle it. I cannot handle it so breastfeed recipe public if you feel more comfortable putting a cover on their cover on but do not go hide yourself to feed your child and stress yourself out even more. Just do it right there in public. If if you need to go to little corner or something you feel more comfortable having a little more privacy do that but yes do not even have shaming that put my about right in the middle. The plane didn't even care Did you pump and dump if I had an extra or did you fly back with milk. Great question and you can fly with all the breast milk that you can carry on. I had so much extra milk traveling back in. You know. That's liquid gold. I just put it all in little three ounce containers. I think you can put like three point. Five ounce containers and carry those on. I carried on like six of them so I just carried them all. They carried them on. They put them through like a little screening testing. They don't take the lids offer anything they just put take a machine to test to make sure there's no like bombs or something in it but I like six bottles on and it was great so do not dump that stuff keep it keep it. Cuba Cuba Kit keep it. What did you do to help? Equalize pressure in her ears Like I told you. Do the breastfeeding either breastfeed or bottle. Your baby when you're taking eating off and landing for the pressure and apparently that helps sunny was. I was lucky and send. You didn't have that but that is definitely What all my friends say to do? So Oh that is. My suggestion is traveling with the baby. Better or worse than you thought it would be better way better. I was really stressed out and I thought it was just going to be a disaster and I was so nervous and I had all these I just went through all the what what can happen. Is She gonNA lose their mind and you know what she did great. It was so much better. I just prepared packed all my packed everything she needed. I tried to keep runner schedules much as I could but let her take her naps. Where else else were where she could grab them and she did awesome and just always said enough milk with me and fed? Her kept her on her feedings scheduled pretty much like I said before a federal five bottles throughout the day on the same kind of schedule but it was fine. It went great. It was so much better than I thought. How do you minimize packing with the baby? And how do you do you keep them. I'm on your schedule or do you wing it I i. I don't know if you can truly minimize packing because you kind of need all the stuff like you need to sound machine you need. Did your packing play. You need their onesies. You need all your bottles you need your pomp. You need the stroller. You need the car seat you need. I think you could leave your drying rack at home like that. Little grasp thing that a lot of issues to dry and you could just dry with paper towels like let them aired around paper towels. I think you could probably leave your play mad at home like I did and bringing little toys and use a blanket but overall oh I feel like I pretty much packed a bag and put everything of hers in it and I needed everything packed. I was glad that I packed everything because I felt way more comfortable being prepared and knowing that I had everything she needed as opposed to feeling like. Oh my gosh now. I'm stressed out because I don't have what she needs so I liked being prepared parrot and I just decided to pack a bag. Put everything in it and like I said I'll put that list up on my highlight reel under sunny so you can see what I packed and then keeping the baby on the schedule like before I tried if I could get her naps to fall if I could get that big two hour nap when at home again at my cousin. My sister-in-law Brother's house. I would try to do that. I big two hour nap and try to win the rest of them but on the travel days she would just sleep sleep where she could get him. Sometimes it would be like forty five minutes here and there and I try to just make sure her naps added up to like five hours in the day or four or five hours. But the thing is if your baby's exhausted they're going to go to sleep. They're gonNA fall asleep and so I realized it actually did not mess up her schedule for sleeping through the night like. That's that's what I was worried about was that she wasn't going to sleep through the night and she slept through the night great and it went great and she did. She traveled great. And so overall I think do the best you can stay on the schedule official as best as you can just make sure you get your feedings. Do Your feedings Whenever like how much feed your baby make sure you stick with that but then just grab the naps when you can and let let Iraq and then I'll end with this? And what was the biggest challenge for me. The biggest challenges myself which is usually how it goes in my life. I had to get over my fear of everything. Fear of her getting sick fear of her missing her nap sphere of her not sleeping the night fear for being fussy fear of her being unhappy happy fear of it just being shit show which was she should have pants airport like crazy. Just fear fear of everything that could go wrong. It was just running through my head over over and over again and I think realizing that she is so much more adaptable than I thought she was. That she is so much more resilient than I thought she was. That I don't have to have everything perfect. And if it's not on a perfect schedule and everything she's not in a perfectly sterilized environment. Mytton all the things. Everything's not perfect. She's still going to be happy baby. She's still going to be rocking and rolling and she doesn't know any different and I don't have to stress out about it like Dr Thought. I did because I thought if it's not put together. Everything's not perfect. I know stay on the schedule. It's all part and it just it just doesn't babies a resilient and they rock and and I think the biggest lesson I learned on this trip was that I don't have to be so stressed out and I can let go of control. Yes keep your baby on a schedule as best you can when you're at home and there's no reason not to schedule but if you need to get involved with live and do stuff and get out there and get her off their scheduling. It's okay it's going to be fine and that was is a big eye opening thing for me is that it's going to be fine and that Sonny is so much more resilient than I am like she rocked this thing. I was on those distress bucket but she was great so that was great so I hope this podcast helped. I hope I answered your questions. I don't like always when I get any of these. I have no idea what I've said so hope this was helpful Overall I would just say prepare yourself. Pack Pack everything that you think you need Pack a good carry on bag with milk diapers changing changing Pad Extra Clothes Toys. Passi your carseat. All of a sudden you need to carry on and then just let it rock and if your baby cries on the plane your baby cries on the plane if someone has a problem with the same thing with like breastfeeding in public. We don't have time for those kind of people because that's not life we're in real life here okay. We are doing the best we can. We are loving our children. We are trying trying to do our job support. Our families do all the things we need to do. And you're bringing your baby your babies coming along your babies part of your life and so if your baby cries on a plane or if you need to breastfeed in public and someone has a problem with it then you just have to not even acknowledge those people because like. I said we don't have time for that. We're we're living our lives and doing the best we can. And we are honestly superwoman. Women Mama's we're crushing. And I think I'm so proud of all of us so proud that were all sticking together and I love having these mom chats and out yes ma'am sunny and I love sharing information. I love oils questions and I'm always just try. The answer is lease I personally can i. Of course don't know anything. I'm learning this on the go. So I love that we can be in the community together and Hope this helped. I hope your travel experiences. Go well and happy happy holidays. Much love to you all. Hey guys with the holidays coming up. Don't you want to give a really special personalized gift to your loved. Ones the answers here. It's a love book. One of our very best friends propose to his fiancee now. Wife of the love book you can create characters that look just like yourself and the recipient de onto outfits and accessories. You have the option to personalize each page as much as you want. But the express option creates a complete book with just a few clicks. It costs about the same as buying flowers and you have this forever as a keepsake so visit love books online dot com slash. Get Real to receive a special twenty percent discount only for our listeners. You won't regret it.

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Exercise Addiction. Being a Second Mom. Get Real with Caroline Hobby. Myth of Vulnerability. (#41)

4 Things with Amy Brown

1:18:38 hr | 2 years ago

Exercise Addiction. Being a Second Mom. Get Real with Caroline Hobby. Myth of Vulnerability. (#41)

"As a parent there's one thing i definitely don't have to worry about in. It's our car's tires will michigan supports testing of worn tire stopping performance when warne michelin premier mirror all season tires come to a complete stop some other more tires are still traveling over fifteen miles per hour with michelin's premier all season tires parents have one less less thing to worry about knowing that their tires are designed to deliver reliable wet traction even an orange state consider michelin premier all season tires michelin performance every time time can never ak okay. Thanks for your life always thirty bohai beautiful back a little mouth sites kick. Eh new thursday who s this is amy actually and mary she's here for the intro schroeck is she's going to do a thing with us in this episode so i have also two interviews today one with lisa which is at the well necessities. She's he's coming on strong about exercise addiction which is interesting. You'll have been loving her. I love her mindset when it comes to wellness and attitude about food and working out and she just had a a ha moment isn't that oprah thing <hes> a ha ha yeah she had an aha moment recently share on instagram when she was at a friend's wedding and and i reached out to her and i said i want you to talk about that on the podcast so she came on and we discussed that and also caroline hobby is on which she has a podcast called. I'll get real and it's awesome and she interviews the wives. Predominantly she's starting to branch out a little bit more but i would say the core of a lot of her her. Most recent interviews are the wives of country stars and she lives here in nashville and they're really interesting. She comes on to talk about that. She's also like thirty eight weeks pregnant so we get it into summit. I mean we kinda talk about it all but she's she's a superbowl person. I love her outlook on life. She's always trying to be joy sparked joy more role about joy right area pimp enjoy hashtag so and then <hes> also will get into the myth like myth of vulnerability so i'll touch on that and then a little segment met with mary on me being a second mom because that's what i am because i adopted two kids and i don't know that this is the exact order that things going to be in but that's the menu. How do you feel about that. Many i love it. I'm excited okay good. If you ever are listening something i see that mary does which i think is super cool and supportive of any not just mind any podcast she listens to she takes a screen shot when she's listening and throws it up on her instagram stories with the swipe up and she'll say oh i really liked this podcast or or maybe why she liked it or something so that's just a little encouragement to do it with my oh yeah but you show you. Should i know you totally. Should i feel like that's the main way that i find different. Podcasts is because people i follow obviously interested them and i'm usually interested in the same things that they're interested in and so yeah screen shot it just tag or and then tell what it is why you like it yeah and then maybe people will subscribe and swipe up and listen and then we can and keep going the cast. I mean honestly. I'm gonna keep going with it. No matter what i mean i'm all in on this don't do above or we don't do a screen shot. <hes> might not be here next. This is what's keeping us alive but not really also who we talking but i'd rather be talking to a lot of you than none interview and getting to know more of you and creating more of a community. We were talking about the podcast being a lot of our core people to like. Mary and i feel like we have our spa people but i know a lot of people shout out are listening. You know who you are but it's not hard to get in the club. All you gotta do is just join us on our friday night lives which speaking of when mary and i talk we have a special announcement about alive. We have coming up that is going to be amazing like unlike you've ever seen before work even if you're not gonna you don't even even if you just want to pop in your right wanna see how it's going. You might want to watch the train wreck. You know could derail but it's it's gonna be fun and i'm excited about it so we'll we'll talk about that but yeah we wanna create a community and so i think even with our joy seeker occur we were talking about how walker turned our joy seeker shirt that supports eighty be kinds usually laugh la cake. That's where the that's and that's not why podcast theme song long so we have items that have that on there we have a joystick or shirt and we have joy seeker pouch which is so cute. I love my pouch. I throw it in my fourth thing being stalked things and then you can put all kinds of accessories or your chords are charging cables all the stuff in there and it's a really great right little travel thing but that's a way where you can. I feel like maybe one day stufflebeem out there and you may see someone else with the four things and you can either be the joy seeker one that and be like hey do you listen to the podcast or you know you must support shop bar whatever but i would like it to be so like <hes> uh-huh so a podcast thing too and then guess what if they're like. No i just liked this. I just support a spa then you can be like well. You know there's a podcast that was based off four things and then we got a new listener see how the community builds. It's that easy so mary. I just appreciate any and all support right now. All things are going to education in haiti through project meta share in their school which is again. We're getting phone. Call hold on place this. I have a land mine so i can do phone interviews and sometimes the phone rings so y'all are getting a little treat. Hello hello hello no kami. Oh hello oh not nasha no wrong number. Okay thanks. They weren't like i could have been good. I know it could've been something amazing and random right here but oh well okay so there you go. You know what's coming up in this episode. Y'all are awesome. You can email us which pink about this episode four things amy brown at g m dot com or send your questions for the cuban a on tuesdays all that jazz but <hes> yeah listen through and then i've got an awesome awesome awesome email shoutout at the end of this episode as well so here we go. I learned so lisa is back on. She's at the the well necessities on instagram and people talk all the time about how social media is ruining the world and and while i think there are negative aspects next to social media for sure there's so many positives like the amazing people that i've been able to meet that i otherwise would not meet if it was not for instagram like mug girl lisa for example so she's coming the vodkas twice before just back on again and this is hopefully not going to be her last time. She's i i would like to adopt you you as a regular because i i'm obsessed with your instagram and your host like people that aren't following. I encourage them to just go over test out out some of the content. You'll want to follow it again. It's at the well necessities and even before we just got you on the phone for the inter league. I was scrolling through your instagram and there's so many good wants wants to go back and revisit and i saw one that you posted back on july eleventh which really resonated with me big time and you're just a video of you eating those cauliflower pretzels you know yeah and you're eating and you're thinking you're just eating over and over just like in the bag and i'm like oh my gosh. That's that's been me and i totally agree with you. They are not good. They're so gross but why are we just just. I mean when people need to go. Check out that post against july eleven and it's you munching on these pretzels like you're never going to eat a pretzel again and like why do we do that well. It's so interesting that you bring that that post up because that post was written as a result to our last conversation <hes> on the podcast where we talked. It's a little bit about the healthy halo <hes> and you made me realize that this is something that i talk about all the time but i don't have a blog post on it. <hes> so instagram instagram kind of like a mini blogs sometimes my instagram goes to my blog sometimes instagram's instagram's but anyway just to catch everybody up to speed the healthy halo is something that i refer to where we give a food healthy halo and as a result we check out our what i call inner wisdom like our ability to tune in check in with ourselves ask ourselves. Are we enjoying the food. Are we satisfied. How fuller we because it's chopped up as healthy <hes> this may equate two free to some people you know like free calories or nutrition or whatever it is but <hes> there's really a big <hes>. It's doing a big disservice to yourself to put a healthy halo on the food and it's very easy to do so. It's something that even i can get wrapped up in very easily <hes> so just to look out for the healthy halo in your own life <hes> so what does that look like. It looks very different for a lotta people but like two thousand nineteen where we are right now what i'm seeing the foods that are are getting the healthy halo are the ones that are like marcus kito or paleo. <hes> for some people might be vegan or sugar free. <hes> whatever that sort of like label is or or whatever the food has or doesn't have that makes it like safe <hes> the cauliflower pretzels. I bad just because this brand. I think it's a oh i agree i like the brand in general but i bought their pretzels and i've eaten them and not like them and then bought them again and i bought them multiple times until finally i was like why why why am i buying these and i'm only eating and if you look at some of the other ingredients just because i mean might as well just eat a real freedom pretzel if i want the one hundred one hundred percent so yeah these this brand in particular isn't a bad brand and there's plenty of people who like the president's but they're a grain free pretzel <hes> <hes> they're made from cauliflower and as a result people are just like buying them up. The flavor is just not good however they do have other products that i do like. I just like the disclaim that like just because we're talking about the healthy halo doesn't mean that like you find a product that's an alternative or <hes> made with alternative agree ingredients and and that makes it you know some other that you shouldn't eat what i try and do is just help people understand why they're turning towards certain foods foods <hes> and really feel competent those choices because like you said you keep buying. These pretzels are eating them. They personally make me feel like very not good. Which is interesting. I think the me i think my stomach hurt yeah yeah so okay well. I just wanted to revisit that. I know that we touched on it a little bit but i just felt when i was scrolling back through. Your instrument just hit me again. That's one that just hits me hard so it's worth mentioning for the audience to just also pay attention like it says cauliflower pretzels on the on the <hes> label and that's like so you're just reaching for them thinking. They're just cauliflower but that's just a. I don't even think it's their main gene ingredients so you know they still are made. I think with like cassava flowers so they've still got other ingredients. It's pure cauliflower so pay attention to all slowed things before just eating food because it's martha healthy exactly and so <hes> one other postie put up where which is why. We're actually doing this as little talk right now is because you posted about exercise addiction in a nutshell and it. It's something that i was like. Oh whoa we we should talk about this and i think you had you were at it was a wedding weekend for you right yup and so just for reference if people want to go back to this post it was august fifth and i'm gonna let lisa take it from here on on what the post was about what the what that weekend was like for her and how it was different than weekend's past that thank you so much so <hes> yeah we're talking about exercise addiction but also i think like most importantly what we're trying to to create which is a healthy relationship to exercise the same way we're trying to foster a healthy relationship to food right because we have to eat and we should be moving our bodies but how can and we do so in a way that our relationship to these two things phase positive right then events so that specific weekend the end it was my best best girlfriend <hes> wedding <hes> and each night was like the each night of the weekends friday and saturday night thursday friday saturday night i was a little bit extended was filled with just like you know not but i typically eat at the time that i eat them so we got home from the rehearsal dinner on friday night and <hes> that we ordered room service fries. We were saying new york. It was fun and on the way out the door to go to the gym the next morning 'cause i like usually get a walk in and just as how l._a. Restart i walked past the fries that were sitting right outside the door. Look there was nothing left of fries and my response was oh yeah like i i. I ate that last night <hes> and then kind of like went on my merry way to the gym to get my same walk in and i realized a few seconds later like that was so palatable and easy to miss because that oh yeah in the past would've been a i don't know if i can. I don't wanna curse you know oh crap. <hes> you know oh crap. Oh my god. What did i do now. I need to work out extra hard gopher longer. <hes> do better tomorrow. Eat clean you know make make up for it so that was always sort of followed up by an action plan and attempt to feeling control <hes> and that usually looked like food rules and extra exercise and as a result result. My exercise was punishment not for joy <hes> so it's something to just pay attention to because exercise <hes> <hes> is never a punishment and food is never a reward and when we see them as these <hes> interchangeable things we need <hes> we get to eat because we exercise besides or we exercise but now we eat more or that food where not only <hes> losing this deep connection with our body and our ability to hone the actual food in amounts that we wanted onto need but where miserable you know like exercise is actually a joyful thing but you need to really back it up and establish your why i and come to terms with what feels good for you right. I love it. I think that's huge and you know i i think once you can get to a place where you can live in the moment like you were with your girlfriends that weekend and have a oh yeah we ate that and not have to realize that your body is capable all of handling that if you're but if you sit there and stress about it that's when your body isn't capable of cause and then and then also when you give yourself that freedom <hes> you don't go totally crazy like you. Could you like you said you could. Maybe maybe the night before it could have piled on way more than price if you put so so much emphasis about that and you weren't really in the moment you just go totally crazy during the next day. It's not really a no yeah. It's like you just feel so overwhelmingly crappy that it is it is like a no crap but even though you desperately want the oh yeah but you feel so bad but and then you're like how instantly our brain is like i can fix fix this. I can fix this. I'll just go to the gym and work out hardcore. I'll drink tons of water. I only have green juice for the rest of the day and i'll fix this. Yes and that's just not a way to live and all right you bring up such an important point and i'm so glad you did and it's this idea that we have this like overt ability to control our bodies and our minds are like so much smarter than our bodies and every time we jumped back into that cycle of okay all i have to do this and then i'll be okay and you know just to give yourself compassion that moment to like. That's how we protect ourselves. Then feel <hes> safe you know because it's very unnerving to think oh my god what did i do. I don't feel good. What are they going to do to my body. Whether it'd be for health or shape or size <hes> feel like crap and we talk about this one an instant but it stems from your overall <hes> relationship to food and exercise not just on the weekends so <hes> something that i'm seeing thing in my online course a lot now is my students are really struggling with the weekend because they <hes> you know. They're saying that they're doing really well. During the week they're our eating well. They're working out and then friday comes and they are you know wanting to not be so rigid with food rules and so they sort of go nuts on whatever they're they're not allowed through to during the week and then sunday they're left feeling crap'll again and then monday you know they're back into the a hamster wheel of being good but they're putting themselves in a cycle of like making this way more of a thing than it than it has to be your body will tell oh you when it wants to move and how it wants to move <hes> and yeah and if you do eat the fries late night with your girlfriends your body will will digest it. There's no need to go crazy over your body your body oh go ahead lisa no because your body will digest it of course but more more importantly it will let you know when it needs more food again so perhaps you don't usually eat at two a._m. French fries and the best thing you can do is to wake up and instead. I know so easy to reach for those rules of what you're gonna. Do what you're not gonna do but instead allow <hes> your body to communicate with you when hungary. Perhaps it's later in and the day then when you typically eat breakfast because you just had food at two a._m. Right by telling it oh no. I can't eat this this and this or until this time name by the time you allow yourself to eat. You're so disconnected from your own body that you're you're feeding right back into that cycle and then when it comes to moving i love that you know to you just to revisit when you walked by the fries and you're like oh yeah eight that but you're on your way to move any way no matter what because moving our bodies are it's just important and i would like to encourage people if you're in a place where you're in a rut and you just haven't been then so start small like try to go on those walks think about activities that maybe you used to be into or you. You've been curious to try and give them a try. Pick out like do a variety of things throughout the week and see if there's something that really just hits home. I'm with you and you're like okay. This is cool this whether it's a yoga youtube video are actually going to a studio and if you haven't been out and about like in in a with working out with others sometimes it can be intimidating if you're trying to get back into it but there are so many different things that you can do at home <hes> because i don't want on people to get confused with that. Were you know i think lisa was pretty clear so nobody should get confused but <hes> you know you shouldn't work out but it's more exercise addiction that were when you're addicted to. It's almost it's a it's a sense of it's a it's a way of purging like if you you may not be throwing up your food but you're trying to burn those calories because you feel guilty that you did something and we want working out to be like you said a joy. It should feel good. So what is that feel good thing for you and for me over the years. It's changed like it fluctuates. I just have to listen to my body but then you know it's not every day do i. I want to go to that once. You finish your workout. You don't ever regret having done it. I don't know how many like class instructors have told me that one but it is so oh true it's so true right and i think you bring up a really good point and i always you know lead from this place of like we need movement. I have my master's in exercise physio for a reason. We need it but so important to do to a you know like you said take inventory of what brings you joy because there is something out there whether it's walking rollerblading yoga pilates <hes> you know anything really that is going to literally alter are your brain chemistry because it feels so good for you <hes> but it might take a little bit of time to figure out what that thing is for you and the other thing. I just wanna says if you find some. I think the reason that we have this sort of like messed up relationship to exercise. Many of us is because we think that we don't like it because of something. We've done before so i mean for me. As early as <hes> like physical education p e and highschool i hated. I thought i hated exercise because i hated what we had to do in those classes in those <hes> jim jim nine p like i don't like to do sprints. I don't like to do like really you know stuff like that and so. I always thought that i hated exercise but that's not the case. My body just doesn't like to do that right exactly love it and then so what does this do you have the webinars are the webinar coming up lisa. We we should've probably talked about this before but we'll just go ahead and talk about it with everybody else. It's basically <hes> you know when you reach out to me. You said oh. I wanna talk about this. I realize you know this is something that i should be talking about because from my own personal story <hes> i have been i've allowed to be go go from exercise addicts a fitness flexible so i'm gonna call the webinar. <hes> and it's going to happen in september. I'll give you the dates and a link and we're just gonna go in-depth really really about everything that we've spoken about on this podcast that we will talk about my personal story <hes> as well as how do we make this ship. How do we bring exercise into our lives and make make it part of our health story and a way that isn't forceful so that it can like the best word i can think of is make it sustainable 'cause it's gotta be sustainable and it all comes down to your mindset about what fitness is awesome. I'm okay love that okay and you'll get us the info and then we'll make sure to have it and <hes> always you can check out lisa's website the well necessities dot com and then you're at the wellness essy's jeez i mean i know i'm telling you. She's a good follow. You gotta get into it and it is. She's got this fiance. He's a vegan doctor. I i liked but she's from new york and again. We have never met but i hope to meet you one day and then hopefully early on. I mean you but i really wanna. Meet your children. I know i know you'll get to meet them. I think we'll be coming to d._c. At some point like soon ish they and yes we will definitely come come and see come see you live and in person until excited. Okay yeah okay so for this thing. I've got mary here to join me because i got an email and this isn't you know we have acuna episode. That's every tuesday and then we do the email shoutout at the end of the four things podcasts always but every once in a while an email will make its way into a thing because i just think that it's interesting and i got this email from darcy and she had her talking on the bobby bones show about being the second mom to my kids because we adopted two kids from haiti and my son turned what he turned nine. I'm trying to think what was i posting about but i was posting about my son's birthday in august and i put it's that when i saw him that morning. The first thing i thought of was what it was like nine years ago and i wasn't the one giving birth earth them like it was his mom his first mom has haitian mom and so i consider myself to be his second mom and i can't help but think of her and wonder underway that day is like and i have never met her but i hope to meet her one day and mary's here with me and she has gone to haiti with me a bazillion times. We've even seen like we've seen stuff. Shares mom like from from afar and she was there right so we we were still in the adoption process so legally. I couldn't have an encounter with her. It wouldn't have been smart mark because it could have tampered with the whole thing because you know there's all kinds of different reasons we don't get into those now but it just wasn't good for me you too to me her and it was so awkward because i was there to pick up stash era and then i had to take her and she was there. I don't know why maybe doing awesome paperwork. The moms are still involved in the process. Even though the kids had been at the orphanage for years and years and years when you're adopting from there they still have to show up to the court dates dates and testify but yes. I i want my children to go to this family and sign off on it so how many years had to share your social your head up five years yeah and stevenson seven and his birth mom and came to see him when he was like six or seven and i think that was the first time in he's still talks about her and sometimes he'll say he think he hears sta. Sheera legit knows <music> knows her mom because she lived with her mom until she was five and a half and then but stevenson never he was at the orphanage since like a month old my dogs in here right now sushi's. What is she doing through my cock colorado to do that and she just sorry. You're not going to drink that because she just drank out out of the toilet to here's clearwater though so it okay kara. You cannot have caffeine getaway for mary's t. here. Put it on this there. You go so i mean. I think that you know stevenson. Here's to share at talk about how you know. She knew her mom or maybe she misses her mom and then he picks up on that and so and then i've lost my mom she i lost her to cancer so sometimes i say that i miss my mom so he picks up on that and now all of a sudden out of nowhere. He'll be like i miss my mom and i just like okay buddy but in my mind you you didn't know her. I hope one day he does know her but but it's that's that's for another trip to haiti which mary and i literally just cancelled. She's here with me right now in nashville recording a bunch of stuff because well well we're supposed to be in haiti today but got cancelled because it's just not safe for us to go there right now so hopefully we'll be able to go back with the kids one day a friend friend and a mentor to me recommended that i at least wait two years for the kids to get settled in america for two years before you take them back which is soon hazy yeah in december. It'll be two years. It's totally not so. I think you know a year and a half finally starting to get down the mom thing feel the second mall even though i'm the second mom on the fulltime mom right now and i'm starting to get it down like little things. My kids are in school for a year but i didn't think of were upstairs astaire's recording and this is where we were packaging some teacher four things totes and we put together gift bags for the kids teachers and i. I didn't do that ah last year for their teachers but i realized that's something that a lotta moms do and no pressure for your mom that doesn't i don't think it's mandatory but i did notice once as i posted that on instagram how much teachers appreciate that like tons of d._m._z. Comments leeann if i was a teacher i love that oh that's so awesome like this. This is so great. I love when parents think of us because you know your kids are with the teachers sometimes seven eight hours a day a lot yeah a lot so it's just i think as moms if you can take a second to think about the teachers again took me a year and a half to figure this out and honestly full transparency was motivated by the fact that we came up with a teacher for things note and i was like well this'll be a perfect gift and the kids can they they went to target with us and helped pick out a few things to fill the totes with and then there stuffing them and then taking them to their teachers at school is like a back to school gift like hey it's new year. You're my new teacher. Here's a gift some teachers or even like sent me messages saying brownie points so stevenson that little guy he he can. He needs all the browns share as a pretty good student. Stevenson is all over. The place just wants to dance or not. Sometimes it's frustrating ambler. He he's always socializing. He will never eat his lunch because he's too busy talking so he needs all the browning points. He can get so if you happen to be like me and you're thinking like last minute. Oh shoot. I haven't been a mom. That's done that for teachers. Just think of something little you can do or follow our lead and do in order to shop spot calmer four things dot com. We have so many ways mary that people can get to the show dot com radio amy dot com but you go there and click on the teacher tote and then go to the store with your kid or not your kid because honestly sometimes taking kids to the store is just enough enough trouble but fill-in then have your kid join you in packing it and maybe writing a cute little note i just i just i didn't realize until i started seeing all the messages the district teachers how much this is gonna mean oh yeah took me and she'd it again your mom for a year and a half year and this is the first time ever doing anything for teachers and i think now that i realize how cool it is. I'm always going to every time they get a new round of teachers. Whether it's yearly or semester however your school works try to think of a way you can do that even if it's just a card because i get it. It's it's not cheap to buy a tote and fill it up but if if there's something you can do or even a five dollar gift card from two starbucks they can. That's two teacher sweet. That's one morning they get to go through drive thru intrigue themselves to a lot and they don't have to pay for it so there's always ways to do something like that and just quickly to since we're talking about the teacher tells very we're going to try something. We'll give more updates next thursday because that'll be like the day before but we're going to do a facebook. Live facebook live yeah. Hopefully hopefully it works yeah. We've done instagram live but this'll be a friday night. Facebook live about the teacher. Does yes typically teacher teacher tow. It's no teacher four things toe project. That's what it's called in. Mary is going to be working it like on q._v._c. well. He's going to be in california so we're gonna be together yeah so i have to fly to california for tricia earwood album release party at our iheart theater there so convenient that it's at l. A. and i get to hang out with mary so yeah. I'm going to stay with her till saturday so friday night. We're going to do you hole because we've been telling all in case you've missed it or you forgot but the sponsored totes are going to really push them that night where you can finally finally log on and by baya toe that we're going to fill up for teachers and we have company teacher that are on board yes so you can sponsor a toe. You're not gonna get anything you're not gonna. Can you get the toilet in the mail. We're trying to figure out if there's a way we can. You know people if you spend money. You want to get something we get that that's not lost on us but it may be that you get of virtual hyphen from us. We haven't quite figured it out yet coffee. We're gonna on the facebook live. We're going to call people like they do on q._v._c. Where are there talking and then the phone rings and they're like oh. We got cindy in charlotte north carolina. Hey cindy and sydney's like oh my gosh gosh i just bought five ruby diamond rings or something except for this in our case it'll be oh my gosh. I sponsored two teacher for things. Totes is an i'm so excited and then tell us a little bit about yourself cindy. Mary pretender cindy well. I like long walks on the beach comparing my poor things to <hes> and i love sponsoring thing like and then also part of that night while people sponsor the link will be up to where you can submit the teachers that could possibly get the sponsor and then the cool part is we've got companies that are on board were trying to working on that as we speak to fill the totes what's up with all of these goodies and they're going to be shipped out randomly to teachers and they're just gonna get as a surprise and we just can't wait for teachers to open these up and be like what somebody's submitted fitted me or if you're a teacher and you want to submit yourself totally totally. We are not above that. I would do that so you may get selected. We just don't don't know how many submissions we're gonna get versus. How many totes we're going to have sponsored because that will make a big difference because obviously we need the totes paid for so hopefully hopefully all will join us in that so mark your calendar now and i'll give you a reminder next week next week. I have kelly back on oh. I love kelly's mhm kelly's awesome. That'll be a really good one yes. She is a doing all four things all four things so she's a celebrity nutritionist. She also lives in california. She works says jessica alba on now. I mean molly sims. Lots of people people people hillary <hes> who's the her does. She work no not hillary but i was thinking of that now now. I can't think of who but anyway it doesn't matter. She is pretty cool and awesome so she's on over things next week and mary and i will give you all a reminder to to mark your calendars for friday september her sixth a._p._m. Syndrome facebook friday night live. That's basically going to be like q._v._c. but for totes and we're gonna have so much fun so hopefully you all will join us all right over not married. You have anything you wanna say about being anything about you. Being a second mom i think and she's an awesome second mom and killing it and yeah. I think it's like an interesting position for you to be in that. You're like balancing really well by sil acknowledging and honoring their first mom not just like pretending like that never happened right and i think that's tricky because like it could be like i don't know selfishly i would maybe want to just be. I'm your mom now. Let's i totally. I think it's awesome the way you're doing it and yeah and then every situation is unique and like. I don't know if there's a right or wrong way to do it so true because the first mom situation who knows if that's healthy enough for that to even be thing yeah but just i i mean that's still something child. They know they know so unless it's a big secret and they don't know for whatever reason but most daydreaming dreaming now so there there's all kinds of kinds of dna testing kits out there and then they're gonna find out when they're eighteen and say what are probably early by the time who knows in ten years. They'll say something else that yeah. It's not even gonna be some crazy tests. Yeah you can probably just go to walgreens and prick your finger and it's going to give you all relatives great. What was that girl. Oh green oh that elizabeth home elizabeth homes if y'all have not listened to the podcast about on her what was top podcast called <hes> now oh imposter or something like that she yeah just it just type in elizabeth homes gula because you'll find the podcast that was done on her and it is crazy but she basically had this whole walgreens walgreens prick your finger for some blood bang and it would tell you all this stuff but it wasn't it wasn't real and people investing in effect people tell it it really did it affect people's health because they were just kind of faking it till they make it but they never made it like mary very pro fit to you. Make it but the boss feels sounds like life and death in some people invested their life totally so and then they never got it back so yeah fake it till you make it but not if it's affecting people's lives life or death and livelihood because that's just it's so wrong so wrong so we'll thank you dr c. See for the email about about that. I know that you know she only because she found it interesting that i referred to myself second mom and i was like well. I am so if you two are considering adoption. Just think about that as you're going into it. Everybody stories differential brady's family looks different but just try to remember that remember this remember remember back to this podcast and know that there is a first small out there and you don't know the whole if you don't know the whole story then you're just kind of left wondering but you don't want your kid to just kinda never think about them either because you know they will be so make sure you make that conversation comfortable and i think by me still acknowledging their moms. That conversation is going to be easier than if i ignored and it's an open conversations continuing going yeah exactly okay over an hour by well not by because they're still more podcast castellet. We're done with this thing as a parent. You know one thing. 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I knew it was newest something catchy and good so run here to talk about that in your podcasts but also just i love your the joy that you have and honesty that you have and the cute little waddle that you have when you're walking up my stairs with your pregnant belly now depending on when people are listening to this. You might have given birth yeah. I mean you're are long thirty six weeks on wednesday so when does air i don't know yet okay y'all be. I'm full term by the time eras like we're basically full-term so it could it could be any day now and you <music> give birth any moment and you just came over. It's hot. It's a sunday when we're recording this and it is hot out and she came over straight from a walk in the middle of the day and i'm like hi. Stevenson soon was asking me to go ride his bike and i walk while he rides and like buddy. It's too hot right now and then i'm looking at you like basically about to give birth walking and i'm like you know what when we get done. I'm going on a wall. It is hot up there but i don't do any exercise and i haven't this whole pregnancy except for walking so i think it kind of keeps me feeling touch normal just to be active a little bit because i really gave up exercising before you got pregnant. We did a lot of yoga together. We're in love it and miss it right same but you were real hesitant at the beginning because you have gone through miscarriage yeah i we had a chemical pregnancy a miscarriage which i didn't even know to chemical pregnant it was it's like you get pregnant and it doesn't stick so it's like five weeks so it's super early on and then we had a miscarriage and i just like it gave me massive anxiety like the whole losing and then wondering if i will be able to keep baby if it'll stick and so i kind of just tried to work out a little bit and do do yoga and then i would have like a full blown panic attack afterwards so you know what i'm just not going to work out the season in my life because even those good for you and it's recommended to work out the anxiety audio's giving me was so much more intense counter productive that i'm just gonna take a break yeah but we've done our little neighborhood walks which isn't so fun flunk day distracting and you're about to have the baby in the stroller and stevenson's up there on his little bike and then he's the mayor he's the mayor of the of the neighborhood and he walks or rides ahead of us and we follow him with strollers or whatnot. I don't have a stroller but that's been like fun. I think just finding a community of girlfriends that you can do things with is important and that that's what i think people love about your podcast honestly is you're bringing her women together. Currently you're interviewing. A lot of your thing is the wives in the business. Yes so describe type that a little bit because i do feel like a lot of people have appreciated hearing that inside and probably the wives have. They've liked an outlet to share some things. Put it out there because some of them may choose to be whatever their profession is just not in the spotlight but regardless people still know who they are and some of them are are more out there than others but your podcast is giving them their side of the story totally and i feel that way. I sort of have a naturally because being married married to michael. Who's thousand horses like i started meeting. All these wives of other artists just by going on the road or going two different events or just like being in places where other wives of country music artists were in there so many incredible women and i know you know ten of them to so many incredible women and wives in this industry and they have huge platforms now do social media that's like so huge now but they have huge platforms and they have such a strong voice themselves that i feel like doesn't quite get hurt as much as their husbands will doesn't doesn't doesn't get hurt. Somebody is our husbands and so after getting to know these women and i was doing a podcast already i was like i wanted to start interviewing the wives and seeing their story sharing their hearts and it turns out all of them have so much to say and they have so many things things that they're doing with their lives and their stories are incredible like some of their stories you would just never expect what they've gone through how they've overcome things like their goals what they are trying to change the world and it's just so fascinating and they're so real and honest and vulnerable and they've been honest with their insecurities and their struggles else and i think the feedback i get the most is how relatable all these lies are and just like no one knew because you look at their instagram or you see them in a red carpet. You're like oh my gosh. Their lives are flawless and there are amazing amazing lies but they're also very real and so i think getting to see this real side of them has been like a really really cool experience for the women to be able to share that and then for people to be able to see that have you had any times where the husbands have gone back and listened or had found out what their wife set or something. They're like hey what wait. I need to tell my side of the story. Like why did you share that. Way does a little too much like go. Put that out there or any wives that have been like oh. I don't know if i should have said that you know i think there's like a vulnerability hangover or something that happens. Sometimes because we have a real conversation we're getting into real real topics in real life stuff and i do think sometimes women women will share a lot of things that they're not trying to hide but we're just having a casual conversation talking to girlfriend. Sometimes you just share vulnerably. Sometimes he'll be like oh my gosh. Can i edit this out or oh my oh my gosh like oh shoot. I think over shared and you know. I don't really edit my podcast is podcast is just a free flowing conversation really really so. I'm not going to edit that yeah. It's sort of a free flowing conversation. I kind of think that's what makes it special is that it's not all like piece together. It's just a conversation conversation and so i do get that sometimes the women the women and wives are like oh my god. I wish i would have said this differently or did i say that much sure but overall i feel like all of my guests are so incredible and their hearts are so good and they're so pure and they want to do such great things with their lives that them being vulnerable. Just makes people more in love with them. Do you have one like if someone's listening right now and they didn't know about your podcasts like one that stands out to you. I know that that you love all these women but not necessarily your favorite person by any means but one that stood out to where you got a lot of feedback or a lot of people it a resonated with them that people should maybe start with if they were to go find one i recommend you just always kind of start from the beginning and then you have something to kind of binge for a long time but if there was an episode episode they wanted them to look for. I think the what i deal with carolina brian has gotten a a ton of response because asia's mayor de luke bryan right. He's such a superstar but then you get to know caroline and she has so many layers to her. She's hilarious first off which i did not know until she got on instagram a couple couple years ago and started like pranking offer family and putting it up there and i'm like oh my god. She's the funniest person on earth. I know like living in their house seems like it'd be amazing on. I know i was like god. My the house is so lame like i need to be. I've seriously thought if like i need to chill out my house and we need to live more like the brian's in just praying everybody and have fun and i just want to be like her too and she's beautiful and so that to me is it starts off like she and luke or so fun and they're so fun spirited taste and they're so they're so hot on top of it and then they have this huge career but then you start getting into the podcast and you realize while there's so many layers like they've been through so much so much tragedy and from him losing siblings them adopting his siblings children to her brother losing his child who had down syndrome when she was one and starting a charity called brett sparring in her honor and mike just helping children with disabilities in. It's just like they're so beautiful. They're so talented. They're so fun. They're so light hearted but yet there's these this depth of this lay all these layers to them that they choose to view so positively positively and embrace all the tragedy that's happened with such a positive spirit that it's just so inspiring <hes> yeah i would agree and i listened to that one and it's definitely good so will agree to start with for sure britney. Kelly's was also awesome to who's married to brian kelly of florida georgia. I haven't listened to that one. Because she grew up in like she witnessed not witness her parents or her mom was murdered and then she was raised by her grandmother and dan she ended up then getting taken in by some friends and i might not be saying this all perfectly because it's been a minute so we have interview but then she always had dreams to go to college and be creative and start a business and have this entrepreneurial spirit and she made it happen for herself like she is such a hustler and she has tried kelly she started dr dr kelli that clothing line and she's just so driven and she overcame so much tragedy as a young child a young person and had no idea i know and then just to get to this place where she so positive and she's so beautiful and obviously she and brian have this really amazing live but she just overcame so much and that's a big part of the podcast series like you would never know these women overcame so much went through so much or dealing with all this these other moments that aren't that aren't shining. That aren't happy happy. That are sad that are hard but yet they're persevering. They're learning from them. They're moving on and making great. Things are life and using all this as just inspiration ration- to be better you know yeah. I think it's ration- for others and i love that. You're giving them a place to talk. I mean and i'm sure they have other places that they talked to but yours is the place where or people well if we wanna listen we can go and we can hear all these stories and all the different layers and each story. You never know what listeners that's going to offer comfort to yeah and i feel like that's that's why when i'm sitting down to do what i do. It's like we just wanna if i can bring comfort to one first of all. I like to pretend one person just listening anyways but thankfully there's more than one but i you know i i if i connect with one person or like on their drive to work with her listening to the bobby bones show or they're listening to the podcast now now like whatever that is maybe someone right now needs to hear about the importance of community and women and sharing and being vulnerable and not that that means you have to share your story with the whole world within everybody has to know but like not to keep stuff in because then you know it's not helping you to stuff it down but then you're missing being out on an opportunity to help others and it's scary to share. Being vulnerable is very scary but i agree with you. I think it is so helpful and so important a for your itself to like he'll and get that out there but also when you can share something that so vulnerable it. You're going to touch someone else because that's the thing i've learned for doing all these protests were all in on this human experience and nobody is getting out of here without some scars and bruises and pain and so we can share it and like big come together <hes> it makes us feel not alone yeah and sharing like you may be listening to this and again. I'll reiterate because it doesn't have to be you. Don't have to be on a podcast to share you. You don't have a platform to share. It could be just reaching out to a family member to share or a friend to share and i'm bad about that too. Sometimes i feel like i share. There's so much at work because it's my job to share it and we as a show from early on bobby. We laid the groundwork for. We're gonna share our lives the good and the bad add since i've been hard. Is that scary for you are used to you know. I think i it was hard. It was hard for ben my husband because he's through <hes> and so i would put so much out there that he'd be like i mean i would come home from work. Especially early on we've been married twelve years so rewind twelve years ago i get phone calls after the show and he'd be like my friend just called me and told me that you said this on the radio about our life and like he's like that's that's art and i'm like babe. Well like you know my job is is to share and i want to put it out there like i. I want to share i mean we don't share every little detail. Don't get me wrong because there's some stuff that should be kept private until maybe it shouldn't. I don't know but that that was. The hardest part. I think was sharing things that other people in my life that warrant okay with and then i would have. I'd feel bad so now. I do move through that i think now we have a better system. Hey are you cool. If i talk about this okay you can run at my own but i still mess up because sometimes we're just going with the flow on the show and i'll end up saying things and he'll he he sits on stuff for a little bit 'cause he really likes to think it through and it happened just last week we were on a walk in the evening and and i know what i said i won't repeat it here just because then then saying not to say it again but it had happened like two days before that walk and he said hey you know i was listening back to the bob. Oh replay and you kinda said this he goes. I need you to understand like for me. That was something that was a really big deal and and when it's i don't want you talking about it. Yeah and i was like oh i thought it was. We were kind of over that and i talk about it and again. Maybe somebody else else could relate but he's his story right right mine right. Now i know and i'm not going to bring it up again and it was that i mean but he we've. We've matured a lot. I think back in the day he would hit me right away right and now he's like. I'm going to think on this and when i do bring it to her. I'm gonna stay calm and i'm going to say hey you. We know when you did this not like already get mad. That's amazing because it is. I'm sure it is difficult because the thing that makes y'all show so great and you so great is kabila and your willingness to share but yeah i mean when you have your family involved in. Maybe someone else isn't as comfortable. I could totally see how that could be and sometimes that's what i'm saying. Conceiver some of these wives or sitting down with you and it's like get real and then they're like you. Already are their friend so it just seems like friends just chatting and then when it airs they might be like oh my god right you know and that's what i was thinking sometimes if their husbands ever get wind like even when you were doing the carolina brian one like luke was there and he walked in yeah he was there in the beginning and actually we he had carolina gone through miscarriage to you and i had just gotten pregnant when i was interviewing her and so i was like super pregnant again not after the miscarriage and a super excited but also super anxious because i was scared it wasn't gonna stick and luke was like i just think people. He walked in his eyes. I think people need to be open about it and talk about these things. It's important to share this. I was like that's really awesome. I mean it. I know it took incredible strength for you to come out and share that and i think i i can think of a handful of girls that have done so because an instagram gives a platform to do that too and share and i do see more and more women talk about it and i know it's not easy but so i do commend it but i don't know because i've never experienced it. I don't know but i feel like it's the more when one person talks at it can be like a domino effect to where the other because i feel like so many women suffer in silence yes and they don't they. Do you feel like they're alone and then they there's a cycle. I'm sure of blaming yourself and not feel worthy well and also like the thing that it's also also is to is just the pregnancy journey in general and just like i you try your whole life not to get pregnant you know and then all of a sudden like you wanna to have a baby and it's like wow this is not easy you know and it's like i just gives me a lot of empathy for the whole experience of parenthood because you know there's like a million ways to become apparent and it's just like it's not it's i have so many friends who have gone through so many things in their journey and it just makes you realize we are all in together and it's emotional and it makes me cry. It's like the whole journeys emotional because it's just like you can't play in it. You don't know what's going to happen and you just have to deal the deal the cards you're dealt and just trust trust in the bigger picture and just follow your follow your journey and just you know see see how it all unfolds but it's emotional. It's really a emotional journey and a lot of women men are on it. You know it's not like i would say this. It's less normal for people just to get pregnant. You know you see people getting pregnant all the time it still you you don't know all the women in it suffering in silence or because you don't know them and you can't see that their belly isn't sticking out eight months big but they may hey have infertility may have had miscarriages. You don't know the whole yeah yet. There's probably a lot more women. It's harder to get pregnant. Yeah it is yeah so i've actually even though it's been like a a an emotional journey that whole process to get pregnant i really william grateful for it because it's opened my eyes so much to just just having so much grace yes into. I feel like it. Has you like loving your body like you. Love love your pregnant body and i love doing that and your vocal that on instagram which caroline's and scream is at carroll hobby c. a. r. o. h. O. b. b. y. and and so you can go check it out. Follow her whatever but you you are. You're like okay here. It is like your china on swimsuit all pregnant at walmart and you're just like you know and you're dealing with changes in your body that you haven't had to deal with but but you're like i'm carrying a baby. I'm bringing a new life into this world. I don't care yeah is giving me a gratitude for it because i think before i mean honestly before i was like i would kind of obsessive about like weight weight and appearance and stuff. You know you and i talked about two. We both have a pass eating eating disorders and all sorts of stuff you know just so the caught up and all that and after trying to get pregnant not being able to and then finally getting pregnant and i was like you know i just i'm grateful to be able to carry this baby and and it's crazy what's happening to my body and yes sometimes. My vanity flares up a little bit and i'm like oh my god. This is insane but it's also just like <hes>. It's such a wild ride that i'm embracing. I feel more comfortable being naked than ever before and sorry that i sent you like three dozen tiff streets. Oh god that was such it is also. I dislike if everyone's like. Have you had cravings when you're pregnant and i'm like i. I think it's more of a excuse. I have always had cravings but i just had more disciplined before. I got pregnant and now that i'm pregnant. I'm like oh yeah. I can eat six cookies in one setting or go to chick-fil-a get a chocolate chip oreo so milkshake every day because i'm pregnant yeah. Why not whereas before i. I don't know if it's if it's the baby you know before you like you know it's you right and now you have the baby plame right little bit. I i love your honesty. I also love again. You're positively i said at the beginning. You're someone that's full of joy and i know that that's i feel like the more where i get to know. You and i know a little bit of your family and like i feel like that's probably just your your spirit your vibe you kind of always been in your mom's very like very much. Josh joined the joy big not love. Everybody and i think that that's great but i also to admire that you you wanna put the positivity out there yeah and you i so i encourage people to follow along with you to check out. Get real to check you out on instagram because you you know you are joy and positivity and light and what are your so sweet. I definitely have the other side to like and i guess i didn't finish my sentence. I got sidetracked because of the thinking thinking like i feel like some of that is just you know there's nature and nurture. I feel like your parents like positive people like you're. You're raised to be that way but also i can tell some of it's a it's a choice that you could choose to be one way or another in you. Actively try to be that light to people. I can definitely sink to the bottom of the well and to sit in my deep dark feelings of just. I'm so emotional that if i let myself just ride my emotions down to the bottom i mean i could get lost on there and i have like especially in my twenties i would get so lost in my feelings and just <hes> i could just get wrapped up in these waves as of emotion and just feel so sad and overwhelmed by feelings and so i think that i have definitely actively worked on always choosing the positive you've because it feels pretty bad when you're really like sad and let yourself sink to the bottom and get stuck in those feeling so i think through therapy you growing up just getting older and like living life. I'm like okay. I actively want to see the positive side and not get swept away with feelings that are morley depressing. I love it. I feel like we had a little well rounded chat here. I hope people learn to find the girlfriends that you can go on walks with and share things with and and talk with or whoever that looks like in your life. Maybe it's not a girlfriend. Maybe it's the guy friend or maybe it's a spouse else. I feel like sometimes even your significant other. Your boyfriend like you're not being open. Yes sharing and for whatever reason sometimes we can be guarded head so whatever that looks like for you. This is our encouragement yes and then also to don't say stay stuck in the bottom of the barrel. I guess the joy the positivity and you do that. You are so good at she's enjoy. I don't feel like i'm as good as you. You know you're all about the no you're so oh good about your hinton joy. Yeah i'm enjoy my mom was the original joy pepper but i feel like i can get stuck in a rut. I mean yeah. I have to have probably all rely on each other for encouragement and inspiration of like i._c._u. Doing at maybe you see me doing it or another person doing it and then we feed off of that so that's another good thing thing about doing. It is because again it's domino effect. It can spread but i do think it's okay to feel both sides because we still the other side. It makes you appreciate appreciate having joy and it makes you really want to have joy. You know if you just knowing both sides is not a bad thing and also gives you a depth of empathy for people yes and i think even when i talked about my mom being the original timber of joy like pinball joy started with her because of her motto of choosing joy during cancer and that was our that was our motto that was our theme but it certainly wasn't every day and she would even say it was important for my sister and i and her to remember like like okay yeah. We're all choosing joy but right now the sucks yes and these are my real feelings and i'm going to go cry and i'm angry mad and we would it was important. You're one hundred percent right to live in that just because you're a pimple enjoy doesn't mean you can do all the time i saw l. Say that on her. I watched her like inter l. Joy no joy yeah but she says like be kind one another or whatever at the end of her show. She said it's so frustrating because now she's like the kind girl like she's not allowed to not be you to be in a bad mood because she's behind one another. She's like sometimes. I have a bad day. Trust me like mary and i talk about how if we're wearing or or anybody else for that matter sometimes she knows all the customer service emails for the shot and someone will be so upset about their pimp enjoy order and they'll be like cussing housing and saying that things and all the stuff and she's like wait. Do we even win a male you this enjoy hat or whatever because like you are not representative of join which i get it. We all have bad days but like maybe when you're ordering shirt about choosing joy in spreading joy you should like exude the joy but then there's even times where i've had to check myself and i think even posted something on instagram the other day 'cause she was at the airport and she had on. She's like probably shouldn't have worn a joyce her to the airport because yeah it's like you never know and we worked with this guy to. He used to work a lot with bobby bones show into a travel a lot and he had the worst airport temperature and you would wear a pink enjoy high. Hi and i be like before you go talk to the airline. People off your hat because you're i know you and you're not about to be representative of joy oy like it is that i feel ellen on that like yeah be kind. Oh shoot oh shoot. I've had a really bad mood today right. I know that's what's that fine line. I know humanity but i have to say what you what bobby and what y'all show has done all the love and joy. I'll have spread is truly remarkable. Yeah well. It's because of our listeners like they're using but it's amazing that you guys have given your listeners a platform to be able to get involved and help spread joy and give to causes. I think that's just its incredible popcorn where to go. You guys yeah all you listening. That's the way to go. I wanna thank you just this for bringing that thinking then bring opportunity thank them. I think that's what mary will post that a lot too on shot forward. She'll just be like when she looks at the donation. Amounts just like this is insane. It's crazy and it's literally only because people have wanted to come alongside and and represent whatever we happen to be putting out there so i think i was going to kind of do a recap it knowing us we could probably could go in and going and going and i started to recapture drivers. I know uh-huh but now now gone. My walk has now motivated because there's a lot all over here to the pregnant girl out leading me so but i think i recapped a little bit about finding your group yet. I'm trying to think of like the takeaways here is like find your someone share these vulnerable with like so you can have that connection and you don't feel alone and then also too and then we covered a couple of the other ones but then i just encourage people yes. They haven't checked out your podcast. Hey it's amy yeah. It's get real and you do interact a lot with people on instagram that send your comments. I love your your screenwriting. You're like this is awesome. They love the interaction. Once that baby comes it might change a little realized with my two kids. I'm like oh man. Sometimes i see things people are doing on instagram but that's another thing we need to not do as we can't compare. Oh god let's just wrap with that. Because that is the truth like i try so hard not to compare but sometimes so you just can't help compare and social media is so amazing because it's such a great platform for so many such a great outlet in such great popcorn so many ways but it really can make you feel bad about yourself too so that you're not doing enough or that. You're not enough or you know who knows what so. We're just going to end up by telling everyone listening that they are enough. You are enough. You are enough. You are enough and just because someone has an awesome social. Media post doesn't mean that they don't have a bad day to be kind he he kind but caroline and i are allowed to not be kind some days. If we don't want to yeah just like ellen taming okay so vulnerability is definitely something that we cover a lot on this podcast. Ask myself with you guys with guests that we have on big fan of rene brown up in here which if you're familiar with her work you know it centers around being vulnerable and also follow this life coach from austin ramos sarah sherwood. I met her at this retreat. I went to a couple of summers ago. Jessica hunters ranch which several girl she had out there and sarah was kind of like our life coach for the weekend and she's awesome and so smart and amazing and she just was able to like put things into perspective realize <hes>. I never looked at it that way so you could follow along her website sarah dasher dot com. She's she's great. I sign up for email blasts so i get little emails from her every once in a while that just kind of stick with me and she stood out one talking about vulnerability and how one of the myths is weakness and i know that that's a common thing for people to think like i don't wanna get vulnerable because i don't wanna come across as weak so i thought i would read this mrs cycle quick little thing here and maybe it's something that one of you needs to here so here's what sarah wrote culturally we are raised to believe that regardless of what is going on we need to armor up brace race against the difficulty soldier on and push through if we're not able to do this then we are weak but this does not bear up under the research findings of what it means is to live courageously inverness brown's research on shame vulnerability encourage. She says you can only imagine for me. Personally what it meant to look back <unk> over thirteen thousand pieces of data and not be able to find a single example of courage that wasn't all about vulnerability vulnerability isn't about weakness. It's about outs strength at exemplifies. The courage to show up take risk be seen even when there is no certainty of the outcome courage is all about telling <music> are stories with our whole heart we find connection when we are present in our lives in spite of the imperfect messy parts we sometimes faltering are attempt to live wholeheartedly because when we believe vulnerability is weakness we can also believe some paradoxes vulnerability. We may think vulnerability is courage in strength and another person but it is weakness in ourselves often. It is the first thing we look for when meeting someone new. We want to know that they're real but it's the last thing we want to expose within ourselves any of this resonating with y'all so anyway. That's what sarah wrote and i was like. Okay wow how like thank you for that like just think about it. Think about what you expect of other people and then what are you willing to show up with an open up about when it comes is to yourself so one of the myths of vulnerability weakness and that was supposed to read that for you then hope you take it with you. I think we all can kind of try to keep that in our back pocket as reminder to be open we need to be it doesn't mean we have to walk around being vulnerable all day long to anybody and everybody but i think you know the right times where you need to open up in. It's okay it actually takes courage to do so and you are strong. You are not week so thank you. Sarah era sure would for that okay. That's a wrap on today's episode. I've got an email shout out here a quickly before yeah i get to that. Thank you to lisa for coming on and caroline hobby. Y'all come follow them on instagram. That would be awesome if you listened and you really enjoyed them and send them out like hey heard you on. Amy's potash your great. Everybody loves a little encouragement. You never know what kinda day somebody's having an a little note like that totally brighten their day and then also mary still sitting here for altro but sent her a note. Hey loved one thing you did with amy. She's at mary underscore on instagram but what the real where she does like a lot of stories in the post stuff. She's always over on the shot ford as well so you can hit her up there too so email shoutout mary. You're gonna like this because it has to enjoy. Hey my name is hannah wiley and i'm from a small town in kansas. I just wanted to share some thoughts with you. As i just completed my first of many college assignments the assignment asked me to share a story that is impacted my life. I chose to write about pimping joy and how you and your family have changed changed my outlook on life completely. Your story is incredibly relatable humbling and inspiring to me. Is i have a similar story. My grandmother just passed away after battling brain cancer cancer for many years towards the end of her life. She suffered. She couldn't walk talk eat. My family relied heavily on the bobby bones. Show for our daily dose positivie tippety my family's conversations or an are like seventy five percent talking about y'all my relationship with my grandmother was and will always be a big part of who i am because of you and the pimp enjoy movement. I began to see the importance of finding the good in every day. No matter how big the struggles were my perspective on life changed tremendously as i was no longer longer dwelling on the negatives but began to see how i could impact the lives of others by choosing joy although my grandmother may not be here with us anymore. I'm comforted knowing that i will spread joy in her honour although we don't personally know each other. I feel like we are b._f._f.'s l._l. I can't thank you enough for everything. You've done for me and my family. You have truly changed our lives. Thanks again hannah and hannah. This email means a lot and i know that you were. You're writing it to me so there was a lot of like you but the pimp enjoy thing is such a it's start with my mom and it's her story and then like through the bobby bones show and then mary with the shot ford we brought it to life as a movement like with the hashtag and putting it out there and the apparel the hats shirts the sweat shirts the totes the coffee mugs dijana enjoy coffee mugs. I've edgy didn't but there is the license slate covers the sticker decals. I mean there's all kinds of different ways where you can just see. I love when y'all l. c. pimp enjoy out and about randomly and you take a picture and send it to us that will i mean i love that don't yeah it's so cool so i just want to thank you for taking the time to email hanan. I'm sorry that you lost your grandma. <hes> i know that just sucks like i hate that for you but yeah we got to look for the good no matter what and i know that she would love an appreciate that you are now spreading joy and choosing joy in her honor because she would want that for you so you were doing the the right thing for sure so shout out to my mom the oji paper of joy i know what would you say if she liked. Do i mean i feel like my my mom would freak out because she she passed away unfortunately too early on in it but she she saw she was already freaking out at what was happening. Then ends with the hashtag just put the hashtag because she wasn't. She passed away a few weeks before he launched the first hat so emerge so yeah she would. She couldn't believe bore gravitating towards it and actually doing it. Sorry my dog just took a deep breath and snored but she i think she would would just i feel like i don't know she handles everything so well and she was a humble person anyways so she would probably find it pretty unbelievable unbelievable but she would give glory to god i. I think that's exactly what she do. She was like well. This is god not me and she would think it was amazing. She probably cry freak out especially because like millions of dollars now been donated to various causes that i mean it's because of you shopping shopping you guys doing it or spreading the word about him. Enjoy are using the hashtag or wrapping your gear or doing like hannah just a <hes> looking at tough situations in your life and being like this is this is how i'm gonna handle it because it's really really easy to get set and there's going to be days where it's not easy to do that and i get that we're not perfect in it's okay to have those tough days and just live in those emotions and those feelings that maybe aren't so so joyful and positive but i think if your overall theme right when you agree is to choose joy and make the best of things you'll just your life will feel a lot more better and fulfilled and not so like i just want to crawl in my bed and not ever come out although those days either okay those days are fun especially if there's really good binge on that flicks okay thank you hannah for the email and thanks for listening to this episode especially listening right now yeah because i mean jewish thing out. The little you saw life ain't always beautiful old thing little mouth because a kick with a eh with amy brown in the montgomery county maryland courthouse. There are thousands of pages of documents detailing the horrific thicke murders of three innocent people soon as i heard the details i knew my dad was involved right away. Instantly assumes lawrence but at the time of the murders murderer's lawrence horn was clear across the country. I'm jasmine morris from iheartradio and hit home media. This is hitman. Listen and subscribe describe at apple podcasts on the iheartradio app or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Grape Therapy: Caroline Hobby

Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe

00:00 sec | 2 years ago

Grape Therapy: Caroline Hobby

"Thank you for listening to this podcast. One production available on apple podcasts and podcast. One. Podcast of one percents off the vine grave therapy. Take them brisk Joe's going to answer, your questions drink to your confession. And here you have to say about anything bachelor, let's shake it up the more fears Caitlyn or friends at custom ink know how to make an awesome event, even better with custom apparel and accessories. Whether you're planning a viewing party, we can get away any other event make it memorable with custom gear like tanks bags or even wind tumblers. The customink website is super easy to use, and you don't have to be an artist to make something cool. They have tools and artists to help you out. But if you do have a design, you can upload it, and there are tons of different kinds of products to choose from customink makes it super simple to create fun, custom items for you and your group, and with the group order form, it's easy for each of your friends to get in on the matching gear all you have to share design than everyone can place individual orders. Choose their own sizes, pay for items. And even have them shipped directly to their doors. Bring your girls together customink can help off the vine listeners. You can get ten percent off your next order. For full details to start designing go to customink dot com slash vine, and I'm not gonna lie when pe- mad, if off the vine family all just got shirts made that set off the vine. We'll be right back with more off divine therapy. Now back to off the vice grade that they're all right. Happy thursday. Welcome to grape therapy today on the pod. We have former member of the trio stealing angels, which scored two top fifty country radio singles before they went their separate ways, then went to join the amazing race on season twenty two and twenty four to. Yeah. We almost won the second time. I'm like looking at my notes. I'm like, where she missed the winning first place in one million dollars by four seconds. I know. I bet you're like you're like too soon to pseudo. It's okay. No, it's been it's isn't a couple of years. It was just like four seconds away from million dollars in second place is only twenty five thousand so it's quite a drought. See, and you also have a podcast interview the wives of country. Music's biggest stars and influential stars themselves. Your podcast is all about honest. Women having honest talk, which is definitely something I can get behind. Please welcome to the pod. Caroline hobby. Thank you, always wanted to play like a soundbite of like, like. Clapping. I'm like, Nope. There's birds chirping we're at my house, in my podcast studio, and it's not like precious. Isn't it amazing? I'm just obsessed with it. Do you just stay in here all the time most of the time? I do all my emails and here podcasts hang out. It's my ladies loan JR. But the only problem is. It's not sound proof like it needs to be soundproofed because then you can your airplanes in the birds chirping and kind of nice Adzic, a raw real effect to it that you're talking about, when we get an anxiety about the podcast recording. But I just looked good. Oh, god. I just did one the other day and I just couldn't find it on my reporter and like I guess had recorded like a couple of things after it. And they're only nine seconds long. Silence. And I was like, oh, great. It was like a great conversation, course, and I feel like the last thing I want to do is woman to come have this conversation again. And you could never get it back. No, no, no. It's never the same. That's I mean, I was telling you that happened to me. And it was really really deep. Converse. -sation and we had to go back. And it just wasn't the same the second time. No, oh, it's terrible. It's terrible absolute terrible. But tell me about your podcast. Okay. It's called get real Caroline hobby, and it is all about. Just chatting with that ass. Women love it. A lot of country music women artists, but women in general who's like yourself, you should come on it. I would love to come on your podcast. What's date follow up with you, then but women who were just like bad asses, doing their life vulnerable real someone I started with country music wives because so many of these women are married to superstars and you see their Instagram real and everything looks so beautiful and limericks and everyone thinks that you have this perfect life, and they do have an amazing life. But then there's this whole other side to them that I feel like sometimes doesn't get featured right? And a lot of them are my friends, because my husband's in a band called a thousand horses. Yes. So we're in the country music world. And so, I was like, you know what I'm gonna just spotlight some of these incredible women because they are also strong, so strong doing so many great thing. So passionate. And it's just been great. I really loved this really good idea because I like Kaley Dickerson is one of my friends, and she does a shit on a stuff like she is she knew, sir. Yes, she does everything for Russell. And they're like, they're so sweet sour couple there. They are their power couple cheetahs so much. But he you know he's the star and I always love talking to her because of my real star. He's the talent. And he's a star. You know, but she is doing all the heavy lifting, by the scenes as just so wonderful. So I think that's a really cool idea. And I do find that any kind of stars whi partners, even athletes, there, these rocks in those lives. And they probably have so many stories because I today a hockey player and that life was not for me. But all these women who could do that. And, you know, had a family and they went out they, you included strong women and it's nice that you featuring them like that, because you are pregnant right now pregnant with a little girl. My gosh, is this your first yet that is so exciting it. I interviewed your husband on a red carpet ones. Oh, Michael thousand horses tall. Yeah. Where's the hat? Yes. So good looking. Sure. I did. Because I was doing the fiftieth anniversary for the as okay? And I played games with all the people who came down the red carpet. And I've got the game here for us to play after. Ooh. La LA, we're going to give you a chance to redeem him. He. I don't actually remember, I think they did okay? I use the one the answer them, but I just wanted to like him. But yeah, so that's cool that you're doing that with your pockets, you're pregnant. That's what we're oh yeah. With your first little girl. Give names out, obviously, don't tell me. Yes. We have a name on my gosh. And you both agreed on it right away with it. And I just fell in love with it. Really? When are you do end of August, beginning of September? Okay are randomly went to launch the psychic which I have given up psychic. So I used to love to go to psychic you up. I love psychics. I give him up because my pianist started playing itself. Oh, what this one note over and over again. What? Yes. And then my husband, he had been drinking a lot of tequila one night, but he's, he's probably gonna be mad at me for telling you this is he's not drinking now. He saw this like figure of a woman in our stale, stairwell, one time, and he might have been just this akilah. And he's not into psychics and stuff like that. And so I don't know. I just started feeling like our house is haunted. I started feeling like I was tapping into much other. Yup. That realm. And I just really only like to have good positive energy around me, and I don't need any more answers in my life. Yeah. I'm gonna distrust to God and have faith, and I don't want to tap into all that because I think there's some negativity out there. They're to be. And I just don't want to get the wrong energy. Yeah. So I was like cut it off. Yeah. I stopped to completely well cool. I was addicted for a long time, I, I could be if I will allow them to help to go there. I think they just read your energy is what I've realized, I think psychics just like they see that you're into it. So then they're like, oh, she believes me or they have an ability to pick up, maybe on, like some your wavelength, but they're kind of telling you, what you're thinking is what I think. I don't know. I don't know anything anyway. So accidentally went to let a psychic. Yeah. Black. It was an accidental meeting. We went to the songwriter front, and he was writing with another friend and her manager happens to also be able to talk to dead people go. And she said that our baby girls income three weeks early. Really? So that'd be mid August. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying now into August now. Okay. Now if she is right. I might take. I've I'd take a second back into mallet. Yeah. She's an accidental psychic. I feel like it's okay. What do you mean accidental? Like you didn't mean to stumbled upon her by accident. I did not wasn't an accident. Maybe she came to me. I don't know. Maybe we were meant to me, but I didn't seek her out. All right. Let's hold up for a minute to talk about something really important are mental health. Is there something that interferes with your happiness, or is preventing you from achieving your goals, if so better help online counseling is there for you better help offers licensed, professional counselors who are specialized in issues, such as depression, stress anxiety relationships sleeping trauma anger? Phthalate conflicts LGBT, matters grief, self esteem, and more using connect with your professional counselor in a safe and private online environment anything he shares confidential and it's very convenient. You can get help at your own time, and at your own pace, you can schedule secure video, or phone sessions, plus chat and text with your therapist. If you're not happy with your counselor, you can requested new on at any time and don't worry because, of course, there's no digital charge. Best of all, it's a truly affordable option and off the vine listeners. Get ten percent off your first month with discount code vine. So why not get started today? Go to better help dot com slash vine. Simply fill out a questionnaire to help them assess your needs and get matched with a counselor that you will love one more time. That's better help dot com slash vine. I think I have a spirit in my house, how do you know but a good one not a negative energy to how do you know because one time we were. Were it was me and my ex we were here, and we had just talked to a medium and Sean had said something about. He wasn't quite sure about that kind of thing. And I said, well, you just have to ask them for assign. You just talked to a medium. She gave you a lot of information that you were very surprised at and that she couldn't just Google right? You need to now. Ask for a sign, and we were redoing, the bedroom. And so we're sleeping upstairs on a mattress on the floor and in the middle of the night. It was like two thirty in the morning. The TV just turned on down here and the sound went all the way up. And at first, we didn't know we thought somebody who's in the house, so we called nine one one because we thought there's people in our house. We didn't realize we panicked. It was very quick. Number one thought somebody. Then we're like somebody trying to lure us downstairs, because there's something going on, like, why is the TV up full-blown? Yeah. And the eight cops came and showed up at the house and do this full walk around, and we were like so embarrassed, and they said in no-one's, down here, we're like the TV just turned on out of nowhere, and they're like, that's crazy. But. Sometimes we get calls like when people think they heard something something's happened. And then they believe their spirits in their house. But that's what I believe. There is a spirit because that happens now every so often. Turn on freak you out. No. Why not? I don't know. Because I'm like, well, it's probably just shown grandpa. He was we asked him for a sign. He gave it to us. Okay. I don't know if freaked me out to have like communication. What did you feel things or did you did you see anything? I have a wild imagination. Yeah. So I don't know if I've made things up on my own. Yeah. But, like I did feel like cold feelings. Yeah. That's yes. And I don't know. I had someone come over and say Jit, and I say all the time, but I do I had someone come over and like cleanse it like one of those people who you like as cleanser. Yeah. I don't know what they're called spiritual cleanser. Yes. Come over and like do the house. And then you didn't feel it anymore. No. That's awesome. And then that was when I shut the door on psychics. Right. And I was like, no more for me. That's what did you do growing up to be to be like that? Like to be. So imaginative I grew up in Waco, Texas. And which is now on the map because of chip and Joanna. Yeah. Our? Yes. Oh, yes, it was kind of it. We had, we didn't really have, like, we had David crush the Branch Davidians, which was a Colt before. Okay. Put us on the map, and now we have fixer upper, so it's wonderful that really traditional life, like mom dad's still married older sister went to high school college, and, you know, most people just like normal lives. So did you hear that you're ice machine? Oh. There's a knocking wait, wait a minute. Go on freak you really wants to come in anyways. Yes. But I just always wanted to be like a performer singer or an actor or motto. I didn't know anything about, like hosting and podcasting and that whole world. So it was like the obvious. Like, what are the things that you feel like you can obviously perform in right? So I always was chasing that I just to I always wanted to perform. I was like I wanted to be a dancer ought to be a singer. I want to do anything that's performing. And then when I went on the show, like, oh, podcasting, okay. That's how I was with amazing race like I had done singing and music career because I thought that was like the an avenue to pursue it. And then I went on amazing race and it's like, oh my gosh. There's a whole world where you can use your personality for job. Isn't that lovely? Yes. So do you ever sing with your husband? No. I also you're on the house and stuff. But I kind of like quit singing altogether for like two years. I stopped just because just. Well, I've sort of extreme with everything in my life. So when I stopped music I dislike cold stopped. Yeah. And I just sort of, like, I guess it was like smoking, I just sort like took bike. And now I have just been like singing around again and like liking to sing again. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. But I kind of stopped for a while. I did that with dancing. You call stop. Yeah. Sometimes you just have to give yourself a break. Yeah. I was kind of losing my passion for it as well. And I moved and I just kinda was over it. But now I'm like, why did do that? Well, I think it's good to remember why you love it. Yeah. You know why? Go back now. I did a did a dance for my scrunchy launch, and I saw that in the in the studios like this is my happy place. I loved it key. We need to talk about mazing race. How were you four seconds? Oh my gosh, is like and, you know, John Wayne, don't you? Yeah. She's my partner on amazing. Oh, okay. AM ever. Okay. We're like partners in life for ten years. Okay. Doing music and amazing race. And we, we were like the two blondes that no one was scared of. They thought that we were, they weren't worried about it, right. To fierce bettas women. You're like, but we were just like always. So nice laughing our way through the whole experience. Yeah. And we just got really far we never fought each other we because we kinda made of algae other that we were gonna soon the best in each other, and we were going to do the best that we could. And so we never like self-destructed within each other. We made a lot of probably part of the battle, like I feel like when people go on they probably fight each other. And that's yes ruined things for the oh, people. Just fall apart. Yeah. And so we made a lot of good allies in. We just sweet as I don't know. We had different strengths and we were able to stiffen able it and like get to the in. And so we were at the last we're. In Las Vegas, and we like went up on the top of the Mirage. I'm like. A hotel in one of those window wiper things. Yeah. All, and we had to put all the light bulbs in the letter, I on the top of them. Do they do the same things over and over? Or was that I remembered this episode? And I don't I haven't watched very many. I don't think they probably do the same challenges. So you probably you was Rachel Riley on your she from big brother. Yes. We were name asus. Okay. That's why I remember her. And Brandon read the brinjals. Yes. God. Oh my gosh. That's so funny. I remember that the brinjals hated us and we well, they did they win. No, they got third. Okay. Right. Yeah. They got third you beat him. Yes. Okay. Oh racial was. I mean I thought Rachel is nice. But then we just had a turning point in the middle of the season where we just went in different alliances. And after that, it was over. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. I mean they're not the most loved couple out there. They weren't on big bro. Are they still together? Yeah. Yeah. They have a baby down. Okay. Does she just went back on amazing race with like she did another girl? Not brendan. Oh, yeah. I didn't know that. Uh-huh. I just saw on the previews interesting. Yeah. So we had done really well on our challenges. We were making great time and we were going to the last challenge, which was to skydive into the Motor Speedway. And we are in our taxi cab, and we were in the lead like kicking butt, and then all of a sudden, our friends, who are we love them, Dave, and Connor father daughter father son pair, they've paid their cab one hundred dollars to speed past us, which we didn't even think about that. We were just going regular but they dislike book didn't speed passes. And they got to the clue box four second floor school. I don't think so. But in spine, that's how they won. Well, and then it was the stop clock thing, which they never have, which because you're skydiving, they had to have a thirty minute explanation procedure of like how to skydive and go through it all, which they never do. Yeah. And so it stopped when you've got to the clocks, so they got to the clue four seconds to force, but I was ready. In my airplane, five minutes before Dave. But because we got to the clue about four seconds late. They took offers that would keep me up at night, s- I definitely had PG SD after. But we love that maybe. Oh, my God is before I got married, and I think I'm going to be married five years this summer. Long jewelers together. Yes. How did you do that? 'cause we went on one season. And then I guess we were fan favorites and they asked us all stars. That's so funny. 'cause I'm like I kind of remember you guys now and that might have been the only season I watched because I'm such a big brother fan and I was like, oh, Brennan, Rachel from big brother. And I remember tune in. But the obviously was like we were the country singers on it. I remember that. Yeah. And it's funny because I know Jen and I don't think I've ever put that together. Either. I knew she was on it. Yeah, I don't know. There's maybe slot. You know that's a big accomplishment, though. It was really fun. And it's probably how you feel about the bachelor like getting to travel the world to like twenty different countries because of it. And when different between the two seasons, I, I went to the states, I'm Canadian so I consider that a different country, I went to Europe and I went to Indonesia was it harder being? Because you were on the bachelor to was it harder being the bachelorette or on the bachelor. It was way harder being the bachelorette, I would billion, because your heart is so tach to all these people. Yeah. And you're just constantly disappointing everybody, and there's so much pressure. And then you're just hurting people's feelings on the bachelor. I was having the time of my life. I'm like is great. Yeah, we're all Dan, the same guy. I'm I'm here for the friendships and the free wine and like travelling, and it was, so I loved it. I miss it. I look back on photos from the bachelor and the good old days. Yeah. Yeah, I just feel that way. Because like when you are the one that's not the one everyone's so heartbroken. They're like, how can you do this to me? Yeah but then when you're the one that has to do the hard decisions. I mean you have to make those have to continue to date, all twenty-five guys, you have to and guys are very sensitive to a girl, same no to them. Like I feel like. But a mass shooting. Yeah. And then they get vulnerable. And then you're like that wasn't enough for me. And they take it really personally, when it's just not a connection. Yeah. And they get angry. Yeah. Girls move there, Fred. Yeah. Girls get sad. But guys get angry interesting. Yeah. And that I got an anxiety, every time I had to, like, send somebody homes of rosary awful. Yeah. Just because I wondered each time, which guy is going to say something rude on his way out and some of them would be like your problem non mine. Thank you. Like, did you always know who you wanted to send home or was it hard? Sometimes sometimes it was hard. I knew for the most part, but there's times I just lose left with so many good ones that I just I didn't want to send any of them home. We're not just be what's that religion where you have, like? Yeah. This is derived sister has brother, husbands. No, no. That's not fair. I think that would be harder than anything. Good. Yeah. I don't think I'd be down for that. But yeah. It was really challenging where the bachelor was just the most fun. You ever did. If you're single, I think I probably would have done it. Yet, I was single. And thank God, I didn't because I was like what? I wasn't nearly as poised and put together as I am now. What did it take age getting married? My husband like him, just loving me and, like making me embracing who you are in letting me feel stable and able to calm down and just be who I think I'm supposed to be because I was on the dating game. I did not know how to date I was kind of defensive you're on the dating game. What goes in the dating? Oh, I thought you're on a show called the data game like there's another show. I missed okay. When you're in the dating game you were a hot mess. Yes, I would drink too much like I always like, drink too much to start the day. So I was nervous sedating and then I didn't know how to I just like thank God, my husband loves me. When ladies meet, you've been married, five years, we've together like ten what we broke up two years of between. You did say every great act has a halftime show. Well, I'm going to break up with my boyfriend. Jay favor. I just kidding. Yeah. No. He he's the same way that reminds me when you were talking about your husband, just the same like stable and can keep you calm. And that's exactly what are you a Gemini, I'm eleo? I, I don't know any signs except for Jim. And I and I always say when people are, like me, are you a given? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. What does Leo? What does that say lion, just like I'm a Leo and a four on the Ingraham? Have you done any? Oh, yeah. I'm three. What's the four threes and achieve right? Yeah. Four is the romantic. So it's like the individualists and I'm just like loss in my emotions and feelings. Oh, it's like it's a great time. I'm like that, too, though will your wing your wing or probably. So you probably have my wing is a three. So I'm like a four wing, so we are similar. We are similar. Okay kinda got that. But they emotional part man, I had to work through that my twenties just therapy. And yet, like working on myself and then being with Michael thank God. You did all those things for your. Thank God like I started therapy, probably three years ago. Isn't it great? It's incredible. I absolutely love going into therapy. And I love coming out of it, and I just feel stronger all the time, and they give me all these tools, and she's always, proud of me the next time I go in, but that's great that you started doing that in your twenties. While I think I just such an emotional mess. But you recognize that, yes. 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So all you have to do is fill up your blender with one of the single serving bags adds, some coconut water, and then blend for an exciting smoothie dole crafted smoothly blends. Find them in your frozen. I'll I was talking about this on one of my other pod. Casts with being emotional, because I've started to notice that it's usually just five days, a month that I'm really emotional. And then, like, how has it taken me thirty three years to figure out that, that's your period and hormones Caitlyn? Like that's why and a lot of girls who will do something like drastic in those times of hormones emotional state, where they can't control it and their emotions become stronger than them. And then they spend the next three weeks trying to make up for that week worse. And it's just like a spiral, an ongoing thing where you just keep getting yourself into these negative thoughts and emotions. And I just don't know how to help other girls with that other than to like journal, your emotions and see when the dates are and write down, how you're feeling. How do you how do you help yourself, the okay, I hate coming back to Michael because I have done a lot of work myself. Yeah. But being married to. Him has been the greatest blessing while we personally because he's so fun to be married to. Yeah. He's seven on ear. So he's like always having a great time. Seven again, they're the enthusiasts. That's Jason to. Okay. Yeah. So just like happy-go-lucky having a glass, half full always gonna find the positives as and not going to let me sink to the bottom of my emotions and live there. Yes. And he he's also super soda and not make you feel silly for going there. Right. Yeah. Yes. Like he'll be like, okay. I get it. Let's like target up. Now we gotta move on. Maybe I'm not gonna live here. Right. Love that live there. Yeah. I would just live there and the feelings. And he won't. So that's really great for me. And also, I think just like being with him not for so long and being so accepted by someone you feel safe. I feel safe, and I feel like I don't have to emotionally, I guess, like act out or something like I don't I'm not looking for any sort of allegation anymore. I think that's. It's a big problem that I've had impasse relationships and just in my past like you go to like your child like self. Yes. And it's almost an out of body experience where you're acting like, you know, you're doing something wrong. I don't want to call them oceans wrong, but. That's just overreacting and way, more emotion than it. He's having near you know that you can't stop. And you, you know, you're even pass the triumph point. Yeah. And you can't come out of it. Yes. And I think that does come from a place of feeling insecure one, maybe not even with yourself. But with somebody or, or with yourself or not feeling safe. Yes. And you just I don't know if it's because of my childhood to were if I screamed and cried, and I gotta tension from my parents, then it would make it all better. And maybe I tried that in relationships. I don't know. Yeah. But that's I find myself. I've done the same thing. And I don't feel that way in this one. Yeah. Isn't that wonderful? Yeah. And I'm like 'cause I felt silly, I would same thing. I'd feel silly, after I had these emotional breakdowns. And I'd be like who am I? And how old am I am when is this going to stop? And where's it coming from? And some of it was hormones, but some of it was just not feeling real hormones are so real are. So real in sometimes we can't do anything about that. Not women. Just have to sit back and accept surrender to hormone. Yes. I think like you said understanding them as helpful because now I am aware of when I'm lost in hormones, and I don't blame anything else for before. I didn't know I didn't know when my cycle was that what was happening. So I just thought, that's how feeling. But now I'm like, no. This is hormones just move through it, and it does help to just acknowledge it and understand. And that's why do use a period app. I use P tracker okay and was clue, okay. I'm looking for new one. Oh, you hear the dating period is. A new one. I'm going to swipe right on that one. But yeah, I always I make notes, and I it has moods on it, and you can go one two three how bad your moods are, how bad your if you get dizzy, if you get hungry, if he craves salts sweets, whatever, and I keep track, and now that I have for a few months, I look back and go, oh, I can't blame this on anyone else. Oh, this is just me. Yeah. And I really warned Jason about it, too. And so then the worst thing you want to hear is. Oh, is it that time, because I'm being a little bit, you know, because you're like, no, this is how I feel like it's not that time. Daria. And then few days later, you're like you look at your outta Yang. It it was right. That's one of the hardest things to do in relationships to just admit that, that they were right. Okay, fine. Yeah. Okay. So how did you and your husband means we met at the tannery of, which is a bar Nashville Upton Rupe? Okay. Yes. And he's younger than me. You just turned twenty one was twenty four. Yeah. And so we met at a bar and. There's this guy hitting on me that I thought was like creepy. And I sort of knew Michael. Yeah. Because we were both in music had worked with the same producer over minute. And so, I was like asked him to come like hang out with me to not make me have to hang out this other guy. And I was quite the makeup bandit back then. I'll get it like if I wanted to our I wanted to make out those my nickname on the bachelorette makeup. Big opened it because you because you love to make out loved it. This is the best, and if you're going to try and find your husband went on make oh, you gotta make out, Hello, socially with all those cuties. Yeah. That's a once in a lifetime over -tunities firm league. I want to do. Is it weird to watch yourself making out? Especially knowing my parents are watching too. I was like I could do it. I know. And I'm sure some of them got like steamy. Oh, you know what? Well my season was very Stevie. But the kissing I pretty tame. Okay. Yeah. Is there any like laying down fondling? No. Okay. I mean there's this one time but. But for the most part, I remember being very aware of cameras when I was kissing didn't want to be that gross maker outer, yes. Yeah, good for you. Yeah. Anyways, tin roof. Yeah. So we met, and then I was I was leaving. And I was like, well, are you not going to walk me out to my car, and then I just took him home with me? We didn't I I was I was like a virgin. And really, oh, crude we'll make open version of that point. But I was still really prude. Yeah. And so he just came over, and we made out, and then we started dating in every broke up for four years. And then we broke up for two years. Okay. How hard was that time really hard and I moved to Austin for a year. Why did you guys decide to break up just timing time ice, timing? We're both really young, both really intensely chasing or careers. We started dating so young. So I think sold a lot of self discovery to do, so it just like it even. Oh, we loved each other so much. It just hit this head and just, like, I think it just had to happen. Those are some of my favorite stories when relationships go apart for a couple years. And then they come back together because I think that's so romantic. You couldn't fight it. You just needed to be together and truly like there was never anyone else. We both dated a lot, and I continued my makeup in at streak throated. He when we were single. And then we got back together randomly two years later. Yeah. And eloped four months later. Oh, really? We'll beach where the Bahamas. That's like my dream. That's I would wanna love each do it. Yeah. It's the best planning a wedding is too stressful. That's I'm not a planner either. And I know I could get a planner but I'm like to eat till they call you anyways to ask you, what you want, and I'm like, I don't know. I just want someone to pick it out for me own and be like I like these colors. This is. I don't care. I don't care. I don't even care about my dress. Yeah, I got married. Cover up. Oh man. Say I soon as a cover up. Yes. Brian just great got barefoot on the beach, Michael at Spearfish all morning. Swam up changed in the bushes. And we walked down the sand. See I into that. And I think that says a lot about your love. That's just doesn't matter. Let's just get married. Yes, that's so sweet. It was the best. Oh, bahamas. So when you're a little bit, that means there's like no one else, there, it was just we were actually on my family vacation to the HAMAs with my family ever since I was four, oh my gosh. That's awesome. Yeah. So we have this little island that we go to and Michael would come with us a few years. And then we're off on the beach one day my mom. But we've gotten back together, we've been four months, and my mom's like what y'all just get married here, and I was like, oh my gosh, I could not believe my mom suggested that because I thought she would want me to have like a big web go, because my sister had quite a large wedding, and I was like okay, and so we just pulled it all together, and like one day, and Michael's dad and brother, flew out, so. Like family was there. My family was there and thought this sweet. It was so great. Yeah. I'm into that. We'll be right back with more off divine rate therapy. Alexa, isn't the only one with breaking news, make sure to hang around at the end of this podcast for the latest breaking headlines on the AP news minute. Hey, if you like my show than you're gonna love. AJ Benza famous bitch on podcast. One joined the gossip columnists as he gives his unfiltered opinion. Biggest scandals with his insider perspective on the lives of who's who in Hollywood and tough guy demeanor. Download new episodes of famous bitch every week on apple podcasts and podcast. One. This is off. The vine grape therapies like we were talking about before you obviously talked to a lot of women on your podcast married country singers, and you can relate. What is the hardest part for you about married to someone in the country music industry? I think because I was in the industry for so long and stealing angels and we toward around in tour bus for like three years, and I get so much of what it takes to make it in this industry. And I understand like the ebb and flow. And I've also been like a song Plugger publisher of an a which pros other artists now hosting and TV, so I just really feel like I have an understanding of what it takes to make it. And I'm Mike all about that life because I love the pursuit of dreams. Yeah. Like I just think that, that is for me that's the only life to live. Yeah. Personally and so I just and I think Michael's the most talented guy in the world. And I'm obsessive as music and band. And so he so an a lot of these wives, I've talked I've talked to have husbands the same way that are so supportive of their marriages and inclusive of their wives and want the family vibe on the road. And yeah. And michael. Well, and all the guys in his band, like all the other wives or three otherwise, we're all best friends, we all hang out all the time this, he's like a reality show about that. Yeah. We all like we like Michael in one of his bandmates grew up in the same home town. And then that bandmate I introduced him to one of my best friends from my hometown. And they got married. Oh, really? And then another bandmate in Bill and grammar cousins. And so now like Amanda Andrea or cousins by marriage, and then rain and Zach are they are the best. It's so we all get along. So on hang out with family such a family. I find that in the country music world. I find that the everybody's very family oriented. And everybody's just got a close bond, and they all want those guys they're not rock stars who go party. No, I mean you guys can party but like family, and I don't know. It's just such a sweet world. It seems like to be a part of it really is. So I feel like me understanding it just from being in it for so long in different avenues. And then. Appreciating the hard work it takes and also feeling so valued included from Michael and the band. I don't really have a lot of struggles it to be honest Macy. And I don't mind being by myself like when he's gone. I'm fine with that. Early. I'm binge-watching that flex. Yeah. I'm totally into my alone time. I love alone time. And then you get to miss them, and then it's nice when they come back and you have your own things. It's great. I'm not worried about having a baby there. I don't know why I just know all work it out. Yeah. You're, of course, it'll just work out. All right, everyone. You're on your way to work. Listen to your favorite podcasts mine. Obviously, what's next you have. That's, that's my question for you. Are you craving something sweet? Maybe something spicy, maybe even spicy and salty, if you're getting crazy, go get some blue diamond almonds and find your new favorite almond. They have great flavors like Honey roasted, Saracho, Emma, Sabi, and soy sauce. Flavored almonds blue diamond almonds, isn't you're usually boring snack. And it's better than whatever you're snacking on now. They're so good. And almonds are SuperFood. So don't deny your cravings eat them. Blue diamond almond crave. Victoriously. Let's get real. Gotta confess to me. Something, did you come up with any came up with a confession? Okay. I actually feel bad about this. Okay. And now that I'm going to confess it. I'm going to change my ways. Okay. You heard this is something to everyone listening. I don't want your judgement and I'm going to change my ways after coming out with it. I don't pick up my dog poop when I'm walking here. Oh, I know. I know I'm gonna I told you I've privacy's. I'm going to change by ways. You have to change your way. I it's changing spoken it out loud. I can't dislike act like I forgot about why don't you pick it up. You just think his gross. I am usually such a great Samaritan in the world. And I like want to do good. I don't wanna be unneighborly. Yeah, it just I, I don't know. I just never have and I just one of those things, but now it's like I just don't do it. Do you look around and be like, oh, I don't have any things kind of or do you just own it, it just depends on someone's looking have you ever been yelled at for this? Yes. Someone brought me back from their house. One time. Oh my gosh. Does your husband picking up? I mean, he's not I I'm not gonna put responsibility on him because I'm the one who, like, would bring the bags and have the stuff and I walk her the most so. Yeah, it should be on me to bring the bags but he will. Yeah, he had a bag he'd pick it up. I know I know I know I'm changing my ways everyone. Please don't flood me with terrible terrible comments. Because I feel bad about it, and you are going to change, and I'm going to just didn't like weekly check ins with you because if I ever see my neighbors, letting their dog poop on my lawn. I have a let him have it Nelia. What do you say, I'll do the same will bring him bags and I'll be like, and then I'll wait for them, sometimes if they are like gone, I'll just wait for them the next time on my little portrait. I'm looking angry old lady. I'll just sit on my portrait. Wait for those assholes to come back and be like x. Lot. Seventy didn't pick up your poop. Yet, do you call them out? Yeah. Oh, yeah. The time good for you. Yeah. No, but I know I'm sorry, everybody. I'm sorry. The bad confession. It's which makes it a really great confession yet. Okay. So you have to confess. I know. But nothing's as bad as that. No. I do this every week. So it's always hard for me to come up with with confessions, if you ever had anything, as bad as what I just said. Populace isn't it? I did do the feels employment. No, no, no, you disappointed. I'm a little disappointed because I know you're better than that. I know I know that's why it's a really it's a low Mark. It's a little hard on my life. But then it makes me happy again. Because you just gave me a really solid confession. And it's one that's like like I believe you're going to change. Well, and now that I've spoken it out loud. And, and I'm sure so many people are in me Madam doing loser lapse in east. You to pick up your dog. Poop, I'm going to strap them, a fanny pack every day with mobile bags in it. And I'll make sure I pick it. I did do that. Once in Germany, I was watching one of my friends Bernese mountain dogs, and he took the largest poop I've ever seen in my whole career. And I was so disgusted that I couldn't do it. You left it. Yeah. And that's a bail amount of poop, huge. Yes. Your drug little, she's meet him. She's a thirty five pounds. She is a lab coordin- mix. Oh, what cute. She's so cute. What's her name sugar sugar? She's the sweetest sugar. That's amazing. I love that. I know. But with my last dog Tucker, I would just love to pick up his poop because I felt like I was taking care of him. I was like he's my baby up your poop. You're a better person than me. I really like I don't really that's one of the worst things I do in my life. Yeah. That's not that bad. If that's one of the worst things you do your life. You're doing a okay? I feel really bad. About it a lot. I know people are going to be hey giving me the hater eight for that one. No. My listeners are the nicest people in the whole world. People have said some real nasty confessions and what's the worst confessions? You've gotten like one person their school on fire. What? Yeah. Where people in it actually pretty sure, you know, these people Brad ripple who prayed ripple. Brad and Curtis ripple. The. I'm going to make you all those high valley. Yeah. Valley there. Larry, I, I paid my pants latte, interviewing them, they are from Alberta, which is where I'm from in Canada, just like the waste hauler town. They are so funny funny. They remind me of like guys, I grew up with the boys back home. They're so so funny. I couldn't get over how funny they were I laughed so hard. Yeah. They are they, they always like movie quote, and their little banter togethers German. Yeah. Yeah. They're very quick, and wary. Yeah. Yes. I really enjoyed inter their school on fire. Yeah. He liked put a pizza pocket in the microwave on like an hour. Blew up the cafeteria. Wow dang other people. A lot of poop in their pants. Yeah, we're gonna play this game because it's what I did on the red carpet and your husband was there. He might not own a few. Doing this. I don't know why the timer makes that noise. So it's called the five second rule. Okay. So I'm going to say something to you, and you have to name three things in that category in five seconds. Oh, gosh. Like, for example, you can this is his practice round named three bachelorette party activities. Okay. Drinking pedal tavern and going to honky Tonks get great perfect. Okay. Kate ready. Okay. Name three reasons to have a drink. Broken up volume love surgery. Surgery up. No. Surgery. I don't know. A bad surgery, you might wanna glass of wine. Painkillers. Let's go party. Name. Three uses for toothpaste, Zik cream teeth brushing. Those good those it cream. Yeah. And what else use toothpaste for? Like an going to say, like scrubbing something, but use the toothbrush for that brush, that's a hard one. I don't think there's three purposes. I don't think there is either. Yeah. Google that one later. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to I'm going to do on ready. Okay. Three things. I haven't read the has before three things that could get stuck up your nose, your finger a nose ring and Kleenex we go killing it. Thank you. Okay. Ready is this, you know, this is you? Okay. Oh, named three celebrities that only go by one name share beyond say Brittany. She has two names. Britney Brittany speeches. Would've accepted Madonna. Okay. Okay. I'll give you that one K named three people as you. Oh, I guess, so this'll be named three people you'd like to see shirtless. Chris Harrison, because I wonder what's going on under their Jason and. Oh. Who is the third? I dunno. Shirtless shirtless Leonardo DiCaprio. Yeah. Sure. Although he liked changes bodies. He's got I wanna see movie body and then like off movie by what I wanna see because I want to know what Baud that's which bought we work in you ever want to know what Chris Harrison's body looks like under there. I've never thought about it. Oh, yeah. Me either. Total joking. I definitely know what Colin's looks like because he isn't a shower every five seconds, five six. He just that dirty, I guess, so do they always make people shower that much? I remember when I was on crystal season, he, he had a lot of shower scenes, they just want. And I think it's the ones who like to show their body, get a lot of showers, did you have to do like absolutely not? I was like, please on ever put me in a bathing suit. I I'm not I don't feel like I'm like the sexy bachelorette. Look. I'm like can I work converse? And like a backwards hat, like I feel uncomfortable when I'm being sexy. But you're so cute and fun. Well, thank is beautiful and sexy, but you're not playing that card. I, I guess that's, that's like, yeah, I'll play the cute fun sassy witty comfy. Yeah. Then then I'll go sexy if I'm really feeling it. Yeah. K one more ready? Okay. And find a good one. Named three things you pop zits God doesn't say you're no, I'm not going to say it. I'll say it very, your charity. Well, that's the thing in tarts darts. Ooh. That's a good one things. Love pop tarts. Okay. This one's for me, okay? Named three reasons. You wish you were dog. Oh playing Putin and neurons and food those stupid kid. Why would I wanna poop in yard because you want someone to clean up your poop for you? Oh because. Yeah. That'd be nice. Yeah. And you know what my owner would your owner would because you have a good owner even owner who does the right thing. Yeah. Ideal kate. We do have a couple of question came listeners. Right. Love it. The two questions are from team Jaylen, Jaylen Caitlyn and Jason you'll have a name guess, so Jaylen Jalen, seventy no Michael, right? Carolina'll. No. Michaeline michaeline. Yeah. Is is hobby his last name. I like michaeline michaeline. Yeah. It's going to land, okay? It's going to stick for you guys have michaeline. What is your number one thing on your bucket list right now? Right now. I mean. I would say probably is so cliche, and like. It's not really that it's not nothing nuts. But delivering a really healthy happy, baby. Yeah. No, what do you mean? That's amazing. That'd be my number one thing to have a really smooth rest of the pregnant young and delivering a really healthy happy to that is a great bucket list item. I like that. Okay. Somebody's getting into a Twitter fight. Tweets right now. It's people go after it. Oh, yeah. Nice super deep. But what do you to do both body and mind preservation? Was I mean, preservation like to preserve our body and mind? A lot of hot yoga before. I got pregnant, I got so much anxiety now with working out being pregnant that I didn't just walk now by hot yoga is my favorite. We're do. We're in Nashville is a good place to go for hot yoga. I like well, if I say, it will everyone start going flooded. Maybe tell the afternoon after because it's already too busy, where I go. I do that all the time. Or I'm like, I don't want people to know because then it'll get too busy. And I like order out right now. It's like already there's kind of weightless. We list, all, you don't sign up in time like you can get on the wait list and you might not get in. What's, yeah. Okay. You can tell me, but I love hot yoga. Yeah. Thanks. Bye. Meditate. I try. Yeah. I try to, but I'm not a regular do you. I love meditating. Are you on every day or twice a day? What what did use an app calm, the calm app? It's because there's once four everything there's ones like emergency anxiety. There's ones for loving kindness. There's ones for relationship with yourself. Relationship with other people closure like there's so many different ones. Does it guided yes, I need guided I if it silent, I'm like, let's food dinner. Fall asleep. I just I need need the guidance. Yeah. That's I would say meditations a big one for me. But I do love hot yoga just haven't found a good one here. But I, I feel like that's for my mind. For my body, I go boxing. I saw you boxing on your Instagram. Well, it's not good. I mean you're getting after it. I'm getting better. I'm really good on a bag. Like, if I'm punching the bag, but when I'm one on one with a trainer and he, I'm trying to think of all the combos my arms like me. But I can't like punch hard but I still doing it. Hey, how did you end up in Nashville? Will it got engaged on though? Okay. So he lived here. Yeah. Okay. He's still does. And so, yeah. Got engaged on the bachelorette, he lived here. I lived in Vancouver, but I always wanted to come to Nashville because I love singing, I love country music. I thought it was a cool like a big city feel, but small city vibes. And my sister had been here, and she was like you're gonna love it the love it. Love it the best. Otherwise, I'd be gone. Not. Really? Yeah. Yeah. So when, when we broke up, I was like, I'm going to buy the house and I'm staying. Yeah. And I don't have a lot of friends, so you don't know, I've never hear oh my gosh. I'll be your friend. Okay. We'll have a lot of really great friends. You're really fantastic. Women on some of our thanks. Please do. Yeah. I have like Kaley Dickerson's one of I love her. And then I have my other friend, Elizabeth I've my other friend tan. Yeah. There's really great girls here. Okay. Like great, great girls. You. Please introduce you set me up on some girl dates for all day. Live. Live that on gosh before, like, okay, we've got another game. Or are you ready, ready? And then and then I can go I'm having a great time. I'm like we've. Oh, wow. It's been fifty minutes Phillies twenties. It's so great. I love it. And this is just called your favorite. What is your favorite piece of advice? You've ever gotten trust your gut. It's crazy. How much you should trust. Your gut intuition. It's crazy. How powerful it is. Yeah, I think that more than anything is the best advice I've ever gotten and for a long time like early in my twenty s I didn't trust my gut all the time. Or sometimes they were fifty fifty. Yeah. But now I really trust my gut if you really listen to your body and what you're feeling it will tell you. And if it feels in any way wrong, don't do it. Exactly. Yeah. And also listened to notice resistance like I have not. That when I am trying to push through something, and I'm getting a lot of resistance. And I feel it like that heavy feeling. It's wrong. It's the universe God that higher force saying, this is not your road in, in my younger days, I would push through it. And now like if I hit resistance hard, I'm like, okay, got it off message received a love that. And that, that just makes for a happy life. Yeah. A stress free happy life and sometimes hard decisions. But it's worth it, of course. Yeah. Favorite song to listen to when you're feeling down anything. Bob marley. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I love reggae. Reagan makes me feel so good. It just makes me feel like I'm on vacation. Yes. And I love listening to reggae on vacation, I've rate, all the time on vacation, especially like islands or my hobby place. Oh. Oh, yeah. Bob marley. I'm going to Mexico tomorrow. Oh, excited. Oh my gosh. Favorite thing to eat while pregnant pasta. Yeah. If I'm going to, like, pasta pizza. I'd have really liked juices of getting a lot of Jesus. I should've got you a juice. We have what we thinking. You know what my people told me to get you a juice? And I was like she wants juice. I'll sparkling flavored water. I thought they're just saying guess she's pregnant, so maybe get a juice, I should have got you do so upset about it. I'm really embarrassed. You're forgiven for not picking up your. Our even okay? Okay. We'll call it even favorite way to unwind after a long day. It would have been back before I got pregnant doing hot yoga and taking bath. But now it's kind of a friend of both of them because I'm a paranoid freak me pregnant, I just like more than most people like a lot of women do hot yoga and a lot of bass. But I just scares you, but a bass beam pregnant, it's just like the temperature Vegas too hot like it. They say can like, oh, do something. Yeah. With the baby. Okay. I would be paranoid about that, too. I think I'm going to be a paranoid pregnant lady, I am, and it's so annoying. Okay. You're just being safe and loving your little human. No. But I've got to learn how to render it over your second one you'll be much. I know that's what I know I have to have to because if I have one I'll try to bubble rapper. Yeah. You know, I mean literally I hear you. I feel like I was that way about a dog. He's gonna be the same way favorite adult beverage when you're not pregnant, I don't like just love. Drink drink. I like to drink like fancy cocktails. I I wanna craft crock tail. Yeah. I'll do of wind. Yeah. Or like an IV draft beer. That's sort of light light, Hoppy. Oh, and like the flavor like peach. Oh, I haven't craving like a peach IV draft beer. Have you ever had sour beer? I think so. I don't love a heavy sour. Maybe baby like. Love sour beer. Your favorite quote or motto. Okay. I love be yourself. Everyone else has taken. I also love and God didn't bring me this far to leave me and. Quotes all over my house by. I think it's Helen Keller live. Is either a great adventure or nothing at all? And I love that. Oh, yeah. And I love the four agreements. We have that written on our hor, which is always do your best. Don't take anything. I don't take anything personal. Don't make sumptious. Most of do the right thing. It's like be OB. Intention like be something with your word. Oh, but yes, it's always like. Yeah. Like dang. That's gonna bug me. I know everyone at home that knows the book. It's on. Right. We have it written on a chalkboard. And I look at it every day and it's like I'll be impeccable with your word the impeccable with your word. I really liked that one. I try and think about that. A lot one of my girlfriends really helped me through that in my twenties. I was not impeccable with my word, I would just say, what people wanted me to say, and I would tell her I was going to be somewhere and I wouldn't and edge and choose, like this is something very important in life, like it should be a life skill and like something you practice every day is to be impeccable with your word. So I read that book, I was like shadow to just Kanoute. Newt's news. What up near? That's funny. Favorite date, nightspot or activity. We love to go out to dinner. Yeah, we love to go to dinner. I do too. I was loved eater, so many. Good places here. So many good places, and new ones coming up all the time, we go walking Dallas every day, which I love love when I don't think it my dogs people, which I do what you do now. So clearly there's a lot of poop on people's grass yards. All right. No more. I'm cleaning it up. I love that. You're very like sorry about it. So I feel about it. I feel like people are going to forgive you, do you think. Yeah. Are they going to come out me a little bit maybe to? Well, I want everyone. I'm changing my ways and I had you Elliott mid it until I said it, I would have been in denial. Yeah. Okay. I was like this is a safe place. So we want you to feel safe to tell us those things. And so we will be on your side, and we will do chicken, but you also will make Hannibal and I, I should be held accountable because it's something. Count. Ability is very important. Yeah. Yeah. Last one favorite way to boost your confidence. I get a lot of inspiration from my friends. So I feel like in like my husband, but, like I feel like I love hanging out with some great girlfriends, just having some good talks. Maybe going on a walk and just sort of, like reconnecting that we're all just like in this thing doing, and we're all doing a great job and we're all supportive of each other women do that. Don't you find that so nice when a group of your close women come together, and you'll just support each other great conversation and relate? And just realize the force you are as a woman. Yes. Yeah. Yes. I hear that. And then I, I really do love hot yoga. That makes you feel so good to reset. I agree. There's something about it, where it's so good for the mind and sweating at the same time that you just come out feeling like a new woman. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I hear that totally. I get so sweaty. What makes you what do you like to do is your confident, I would say, the same I like surrounding myself with my really core group of people that make me feel good about myself, as you know, in the world of entertainment, or any world. You're really in. There's always people that will bring you down. Always not just this world, whether you're in a Bank, or no matter what. Yeah. And so when you just realize the kind of good, people, you have in your life, and they just kind of ground you and then you go back to be like, oh, yeah. This is what matters like somebody asked me the other day. What makes me feel beautiful? And I honestly said, just being around, like Jason or just being around my family, because that's what I feel the happiest when I'm the happiest I feel beautiful. Yeah. It's not like when I'm in a little dress and heels, nah, not me now. It's like one of comfy and around people who love me. Yes. Yeah. He see for you. Yeah. Because beautiful now what else is there? Anything else you wanted to talk about that I missed. Tell us where we can find your podcast anywhere. Okay. On itunes on, I heart on. Anywhere that podcast are Google it googling and your Instagram is care. Oh hobby. C. A. R. O. H. O. B. B Y. And that's your Twitter too, right? Yeah. I'm so bad. At Twitter, are you? I am I only use Twitter when I have something like, really funny to say or when I'm watching the bachelor or the bachelorette and have my little commentary. I'm so hardcore into the bachelor now, I'm bachelor in paradise. I love it all is they're going to be in her bathroom paradigm. Oh, yeah. Of course of love, all that's almost sometimes better because it will come on the podcast game. We'll do recaps. Oh, yes. Because I now I wanna hear I mean to gosh on paradise it's so good. It's probably the best of all of them. I think I think so too, because there's so much happening so much. There's so many just Moody's for releasing there really is. And you spend so much time with each other in paradise does, you know, okay? They were going to ask me, I think this year but. I'm too old for that. Why did Jason go on it? I think it was almost going to be the bachelor, right? Oh, yeah. I wanted him to be the bachelor so bad never one. Yeah. Me too. I was like that guy needs to be the bachelor. He'd be the best bachelor. Yes. He didn't go on because it was really, really soon after. And I think he was like I gotta go back to my like real job. And I don't know if this world's for me, and then, and to be honest, I think he knew he had a little bit of a shot at being the bachelor. So then he couldn't go on. But I think that's maybe his mindset and then yeah, I don't know. I just paradise is like I love watching the Demis and the younger girls and everything. That's, that's what paradise is. I just feel like I turned it around was coach crystal turned it around around. I thought like, oh my gosh, there's no hope. And then she is like awesome. Now, I know. That's, that's what I love about paradise choose it. There's the redemptions. Yeah. And Mr. Dempsey and her dude. What's his name, Chris, which he also? Was like oh, and now but he was a home paradise to and then got like somehow awesome. At the end. I wanted to be awesome. But he just needed opportunity to be awesome. And he was trying to be awesome in like the way like he's trying to be awesome TV. But really, he's just an awesome guy. And he needed to just accept that. Yeah. Yeah. The. Yeah, they've really like really blossomed. They are really sweet together. I really think they're great. And I think casting, Colton are great. I was wondering how that was gonna turn out. The are the sweetest like she like fell in love with him because I didn't know that was going to happen. Yeah, I think what I think haven't was used a scared she's young. She doesn't know what world she's in choose kind of, like my dad. Yeah, it was just all these like big question marks, and you're on a show where you're supposed to get engaged. But I hung out with them. Now a few times. They're just the best. They see, like diet store, then they are and happy. They are. Yeah, they're happy and adorable. And so their hearts are so pure. They really are. I love that. Oh, they're so cute. And they not really make it. Yeah. I believe in them. I know you're just love a good love story that comes out of TV. Sure, do I know? I really do. I'm so happy, you came over and did this with me. Thanks for having me on. Cute pregnant, thanks. The cutest bumping, you are building come back anytime we'll do bachelor bachelorette bachelor in paradise Rico. I'm so in for that. And maybe I'll bring a psychic, if you get back into it, and we on have a moment, if you've read, okay, I would use I show you, but you have to get a legit one. Do you have a legit when here? Yes, there's this guy. Frank costs Yano I think is his name. Gosh, Frank is legit, but haven't gone to Franken a longtime. He was always a really good one. Okay. But does he like watch the bachelor? I don't want them to know right anything I don't know. I don't know what he does outside of you should tell him that you have a podcast for him to go on and don't tell my name and. Tell them the podcast or anything in the bring him here, and we'll just see what happens. Oh my gosh. Okay. Can we do that? Yeah. I'm so excited. Okay. Okay. Well, I'm gonna go pack for Mexico. Have so much fun. Are you going in this? Yeah. When this comes out, we'll be in Mexico. So everybody have a mercury to with us. You listen to the pod that I'm just in my happy place. Have so much fun. I'm so excited. Thank you so much. And everybody listened to her podcast. Go. Thanks for listening to off the vine rape therapy. Tune in to hear new Minnie's odes every Thursday, and checkout new full length episodes, every Tuesday exclusively on podcast, one dot com, the podcast, one app and subscribe on apple podcasts. No TV this week. Scrape therapy is sponsored by dole crafted smoothly blends find them now in your frozen. I'll blue diamond almonds crave victoriously customink, go to customink dot com slash vine for ten percent off your next order and better help. Go to better help dot com slash fine and use code vine for ten percent off your first month.

Michael Jason Jaylen Caitlyn Instagram anxiety Google apple Nashville Caroline hobby Kate hockey Joe Kaley Dickerson reporter Russell La LA depression Rachel Riley
The Amazing Race of Life with Caroline Hobby (#57)

Velvet's Edge

56:50 min | 1 year ago

The Amazing Race of Life with Caroline Hobby (#57)

"What's up I'm wilfling from thrill us with some amazing podcast news? We just launched our very first podcast thrill his best and the rest every week. You can hear me and my amazingly talented colleagues talk about the best of the best in food drink travel and entertainment from the scariest movie of all time to the best hangover cure. Ever listened to thrill his best and the rest on the iheartradio APP apple. podcasts you know basically everywhere anywhere you can find podcasts. This is Kelly Henderson. And you're listening to the PODCAST. This week my guest is my friend. Caroline Hobby Carolina's both warm and kind. But she is also very real. We we sat down to talk about why she started living her life from the truth and how that's changed everything. She also tells me how she found love after years of being terrible at dating and how their love love has now expanded into a family. We're both currently extremely tired and hormone also. This conversation brought lots of raw emotion and even some tears however it also brought many insights into what we are both truly wanting to bring into this world and how each of our podcast conversations are helping us to do it. Here's caroline okay. So I told you before but I wanNA talk about why you came to Nashville. I came to Nashville to be a country and western singer. That what you wanted to do forever. Well kind of yes. I wanted to be in entertainment. I grew up in Waco Texas and I wanted to. I mean I would have done anything like acting modeling. Seeing too short tomato I did get a model search America when I was late. Model Search yes. Of course. Well you're pretty enough to model. I mean I just wanted to get in entertainment payment industry. Whatever it was yes so when I was in junior high and high school no junior high went to all sorts of America? Didn't Pan Out Dang it today. They say you're too short. I think so I mean yeah I never really made it past like the open casting call. So you're like okay. What's my second option? Second option then. I would sing in church hurts. I was in choirs and I always had like a good solid strong voice not like Carrie underwood or anything but like you know who dies rely. I mean that's like another the level of voice as like we can make this work you this okay I worked on it. took singing lessons tried to take guitar. Lessons Never learned guitar although I took guitar lessons since I was in a junior in high school and I never learned how to play guitar. What was it it just wasn't right? Just didn't yeah I just. I don't know what it was and then I tried learn mandolin. Mandolin learned at terribly like beat around on a mandolin. A little bit But yeah so move nationals. I'm GonNa sing because then I got into show choir and choir sir performing in highschool and are really loved performing and singing and so I'm going to Nashville so that was the plan when you came here. Did you immediately get it. Setup with stealing angels or was it like a top okay. So what happened so I went to College Belmont. So that's high got my parents are like okay. Go to Nashville but like go to college. They should have to go to school into college. Majoring in music business in English and I started interning all over music grow started interning for Victoria. Shaw who's a hit it's Aria. She wrote the river. Garth Brooks and Nobody wants to be lonely for Christina. Aguilera and Ricky Martin and she wrote some other stuff so she got me like involved with the songwriting community started writing songs and then randomly Jennifer Wayne who's now and runway June. Yeah moved to Nashville. She moved into a house that she thought on craigslist. She moved in with him with one of my best friends. Jen like the first day she moved here and she you moved here to d music and I was pursuing music and we both were like kind of nervous to be doing it on her own through like let's form a duo. Yeah formed a duo. We started singing around and then she was. John is John's granddaughter so she was hooked up with like ca big agency. And we KINDA got this reality. Show going where we're GONNA do a reality Addi show based on our heritage go distantly related to Daniel ask you what the connection with Daniel Boone. Yeah we dug it up because then we had they were like this is a great idea but you need it to be a little stronger. Can you find another legacy. Yeah child so. We can't Tayla Lynn Loretta Lynn's granddaughter. Yeah and so then. And we had Loretta Lynch granddaughter. John Wayne's granddaughter the descendant of Daniel Boone send it. Everyone's related to thanks. Oh isn't he basically was a strat. Did the show happen. We almost almost made it. We got to the final stages and on. TLC Yeah and then it just never panned out. But then after the show didn't pan out where like you know what we're going to stay true. Oh because we were so much stronger together and then we trio and the show went away. Obviously but we stayed stealing angels. And that's how we you created our little music group. So were you on the road like Y'all had a record deal right power early. Who produced the dixie chicks the record before us and we ended up partnering Sony and we were on the road nonstop like on a radio tour constantly? And we just or touring and a tour bus we went to Iraq we did a USO tour It was awesome. We'll deal deal so we had three singles on the radio to was like forty eight which is not great but we cracked cracked the top fifty. Yeah and then it just started falling apart like what happened. Tayla third single wasn't doing well. Are we had a private investor star because we are half independent half was Sony Sony distribution but like our main label was independently backed by this guy. Yeah and so. We're on our third food single wasn't doing well Kinda. He was Kinda getting tired of pumping in money. You know you kind of get to that point where it's like okay. Is this GonNa work or not right like you had to figure uh-huh and then so the Tayla ended up getting pregnant and her fiance lived in Seattle so she like moved to Seattle Kinda dislike like it just all started crumble all the time off the same time so then the vessel kind of pulled out Taylor left First Seattle and then literally from one day the next day it was just over it was crazy Roese. We had devoted seven years of our life to this band and then it was just done and Jen and I really like what are we gonNA do. This was our whole plan. We were both in our late twenties at that point and we had put all of our eggs in this basket. We're like we're going. I entered into like a panic depression. Yeah it was like my life is over. Isn't that so oh interesting. I mean I feel like I've talked to a lot of people in Nashville. And what obviously we know of all successful people is the successful part. But I've heard every single person story and there's a a story like this slagging you literally just think you're done so like what did y'all do I moved to Austin okay. I literally late closer to home. I like had a breakdown as cannot be in Nashville anymore. Ended up breaking up my boyfriend four years. Who's now my husband? Michael you used. We'll get to that later. Okay Oh my gosh. We broke up. I just like I had to get out. I just the the walls were closing in on me. The Nashville is like cannot be here anymore. You're I can't breathe. I don't know what to do. I've got to reset my life because truly I had thought for my whole twenties that this is what I was an ideal at gotten hooked up with a moved here and is nineteen to be a singer got hooked up with Palin was like twenty three twenty four and now here I am like twenty eight twenty nine and it's all crumbling thing. Why did you feel like you couldn't rebuild here in Nashville? I just didn't know where to start and I thought like okay. My shot is done like this was my one shot with music and I just didn't know how to even pick up again because we weren't going to be a trio anymore. I didn't WANNA so act. I didn't WanNa Songwriter Disa- songwriter so everything that I was putting putting it was just this band and now the ban was done. I we didn't I tried to get like another member and we auditioned people and it just didn't work and then like we didn't know who is seeing lead anymore because we didn't know if Jin either Jenner our strong enough to be the lead singer but then I didn't want to have a new lead singer. 'cause I just like I so wanted to sing lead but I thought maybe that was the reason we weren't working because my voice wasn't strong enough so it just was. I just didn't know even how to exist anymore. So so I was like okay literally I one day found myself on my knees hyperventilating. Like what the Hell am I gonNa do with my life and and I heard this voice in my head. It was God. I don't know what it was but it just told me Austin like screaming and my head awesome and I picked up on a move to Austin the next day you know the next day basically like the next week. Why would you do in Austin? My sister lives there okay. My niece lives there so I taught school music school music classes and it was really sweet and I stayed there for a year and just kind of like reset. Yeah but it was kind of intense like I. I feel like I would ever have to go that extreme again if my life apart. That's like a twentysomething move though. Yeah Heart Yeah now. It's falling apart so many times that I'm like okay. Well we'll rebuild over tomorrow or whatever but you know that first time when you best yeah so much of your life something rashes and you're like how do I live. I yeah well also I think when you're younger you expect things to work out and like I just remember thinking like this is just GonNa work out because this is what I want to work out. And then I realized like life doesn't work work that way so totally makes sense to me that you had panic so how did because you lived an awesome for year which I didn't actually know that but did you come back back. Yes and that is that when amazing race happened so I was living in Austin and I hit another wall I was like this isn't where I'm supposed to be. I could just feel it. Cost him but it just wasn't wasn't there wasn't the entertainment industry that I was looking for their. Although there's a great music scene it's like live. Music Scene Yeah. It's just totally great vibe. I but it just wasn't I knew it wasn't supposed to stay. Yeah and so. Jim and I randomly got a call from our agent. And then I guess I'd been in Austin like six months. Maybe and he is like amazing race is looking for to country singers. y'All WanNa do it and we're like. Yeah Ah we both have no idea what we're doing with our lives like police. We go around the world on a reality show so we kind of just got to like hop right through and made a video and we got on the show. Do they pay you to be on amazing race. No you just get paid based on what place you get So we got. We did it two two times. We see the first time we got fourth place. Okay and you get how Michigan for Fourth Place and you get twenty thousand for second in place you go from a million dollars to twenty thousand and we got second place. When we went to all stars we lost by four seconds so a million dollars to twenty five thousands of life changing money so okay how do you take off like? I can't imagine taking off that much. Tom Like how did you win. Do they pay for you to do the show. Okay no I mean like to do to live So what had happened was I had moved back to Nashville. Yeah 'cause Jin Jin having to move back to Nashville. I was up here visiting gin so like did you have rent and we will yes and we were. I was actually working as a song. PLUGGER had move back to the. I got offered a job after I live in Austin I got offered a job as a song plugger. Some move back to Nashville and they let me like take a leave of of absence for said. It's not as long as I was thinking about thinking it was longer and then had publishing deal okay. So she could could. Yeah so she just didn't write for a month so we kinda flexible situations. You have to have flexible situation. Doesn't it say I don't know how anyone does are like always wondered about people in the Bachelor. 'cause you don't get paid to do that kind of stuff either to so I round y'all guy or if play fourth-placed miss four seconds no that was all stars and then second second time we did it. We got second place in LAS by four seconds. Oh my God the torture and it was so fun and it was such an amazing opportunity to travel the world. We went to twenty countries. What was your favorite part of the whole thing? You know seeing seeing the world and realizing that like we're all the same everyone is kind of going for the same thing in life you're going for or just like a purpose in its family and friends and you know it's not that much different like people live differently but everyone really wants the same things and I also realize that people are really good and kind and generous and there's a lot of great people out there that will help you and it's just we're not so different you know in that I feel like also like we get so lost in The business alive that it just puts it in perspective that like you can be happy doing a million different things and there's so many different ways to go through your life and you don't have to do it a certain way. Yeah what what would you say like. If you think you can be happy doing a million different things what would you say you saw. Was it about like the people they were with. That made him the happiest the jobs they they had like. What kind of things I think? That's a great question. Thanks really good interview I think it is. I think it's I do thing it's like a state of mind and that it is involves. I think it involves community. I think you have to have a community of some sort short or or something some support system of yeah and then have your purposes even have to be your job. I just think it's just I finding joy in your in your life and I think that involves community really and then if you do have a purpose that you like a job that you love. I think that's icing on the cake. But really really the big thing to me. I think it's just having a community. Yeah support you. I think that's so true because I think about my life even the my job has become sort of my community are like like my people you know and I'm friends with all the people I work with and it makes the biggest difference especially if you're traveling with people or you know what I mean. I think you have to let people in you know I. I think that that's another thing like I've learned to live like it's okay for life to be big and messy and it doesn't you don't always have to get along with everyone and like you're not always gonna see eye to eye. Can you can show people you're vulnerable parts and you can cry to your friends and your family and that is really how you have a community is by letting people build you up and build people up because we need each other to lean on this life is too hard to do it alone. Oh my God they mentioned that. Yeah you need your people. Aw do well speaking of your people. You've so you've been back in Nashville. You've done amazing rates. You've done all of these things and you said I did not know that you guys dated before you left Nashville. But now you're married to Michael Hobby. He's the lead singer of a thousand horses right now. I need to hear the whole story. So he We met when I he was twenty. One Nas twenty four owner okay. Okay okay okay. Juniors Pumas there's like five or less like I okay glad you set us straight. Thank you Yeah so we were. I had known him because he was in music. He moved charity. Music News Eighteen. Yeah he always knew he wanted to do. Music and Met Him because we were working with the same producer for a minute and I saw him in the studio and like the first time I met them he and his bandmates were sliding down the hall and their tube socks like a little risky business. Nisa my wild like unloving rock and rollers and that's literally the first into the museum just like sliding up and down the hallway and their tips abso- so we're you like that's the man of my dreams are Kinda why I kinda like. They were fun. Thought they were so young. When when you're in your twenties like a twenty year old when you're twenty three or twenty four is disgusting? It makes the biggest difference that age difference. Yeah sounds like who I would never even consider that young grows so no I didn't even think of it romantically and then although I was boy crazy were what do you mean goodness. I just loved boys I wanted to make out all the time I was looking for. I mean I was like keble crazy. Make out band yes So are you dating a lot. I don't know it was dating. I mean I didn't know how to date eight. I was a terrible data because I was so nervous to let people in that way. I was like super scared to like show people who I really was like. Oh my God didn't see the real me and they're not going to like me because of my twenties you know you're just so insecure not willing to share who you are and I I hadn't I hadn't done my therapy. It hadn't gotten to the core of my issues. Yeah yeah is hat all my issues my insecurities and all that I was like. Oh no I'm just going to be mean to people and see if they will fight through it so it's kind of like hard asked to guy's not cute. It's it's just dumb but there's some guys like that I mean well okay so then what happened not really. It didn't really work out for me. I think a lot of guys probably they thought I was crazy. Yeah but then with Michael. What happened with him was I never really romantically thought of him because he was younger? And then a one night we. I was out at tin roof. Because he's going to tin roof. All the time Nashville. Yeah and it was like the hot spot hot spot. Yeah I mean it's still it's still hi everyone so young. I feel like the oldest person alive when you are are yeah. They're all like twenty one. Yeah I'm like I'm their same major. No I'm like fifteen years older than all of you. At least it's actually sad when you go in like you feel like that pathetic person. Yes I haven't actually been in in maybe over a year. Yeah I know so there is this guy there. He was trying to flirt with me. And he was like weirding me out and I saw Michael Michael. He was there with a bunch of his friends and I was like. Oh my God I know you so I was like wanting him to like help you out me out. And then we ended up talkie and he was so fun and charismatic. This matic and I'd had enough drinks by the end of the night and I was like getting ready to leave and he didn't come with me and I was like I went back and I'm like are you not gonNA walk me up out to like my a cab. And he ended up did he walked out there and I was like well I mean. Do you just WanNa come home with me. We didn't I was I was a good girl like I was approved. A DOC I wanted to shake up in the night. He can't go snuggled spend the night and the next day I woke up and I was like. Oh my God this is not someone. I was thinking that I wanted right to be with but his he just made me feel like I'd always wanted to feel. His conversation was so funny and charming and he was so easy going and had such a great attitude that we just started dating that day and we dated for four years never broke up and then you literally just move to Austin. Yeah because I was in an insane person loves me like I poor guy I think we really we. We went through it on our front end and so now like our second half like we had a two year break up and then then we eloped in the Bahamas after four. Four months of back together and our marriage has been great. Just easy because we've already dealt with all the crap like went through all the things in our twenties together and and now it's like okay. We know he knows my crazy. Non really not even crazy anymore. It's like I worked it all out what you said you went to therapy what was like the big takeaway for you you. We'll especially with dating. We went to a therapist together. Okay if anyone wants a great therapist in Nashville Susie and she's at the estuary. Okay great she a good couple therapists. Yes she was dying for US zone. Cheese have you done individual therapy. Isn't it such a different. Because I did years of individual well and I was like I got this therapy thing down went to couples and it was like Oh shit is so different and you learn so much about yourself in such a different way. It's so true. Oh yeah so. What did you teach you? She divided our personalities into three chairs. Okay have your wounded child. Yeah you're middle manipulator bellator and then your truth chair and so you're middle chair. MANIPULATOR is trying to protect your wounded child. Okay so whatever ever and it doesn't even mean that like something terrible happened in your childhood just whatever your personality has tucked away as painful moments in your life that you are insecure about trying to hide trigger. Something whatever you've gone through that hurt you as a child that you do not want to crack open and you don't even realize you don't crack it open but you don't want anyone to know and it's like pain. Yeah so that's your wounded child and then you're middle chair. manipulator is doing every single thing it can to never let those wounds opened and then you have your truth chair sitting over here. That's the truth truth. That sees it for what it is. It doesn't take any of it personal. So what we had to do was we had to explain how we were feeling about each other and the problems that we were having having an how we were viewing our life relationship and we would have to shoot. Make US sit in the chairs that we're talking so we'd have to if if I was like talking about something that I don't even I can't remember what our issues are back. Then but like she'd be like okay. You're speaking from your wounded child so I'd have to go sit in my wounded child out and have to like analyze what that pain is. And why I'm acting out that way and then I'd have to go sit in my truth chair and say what really he needs to happen. So it'd be like your wounded child is where it originated so it might. It might not have even really been about. Michael wasn't probably most times. Yeah God isn't that's so interesting. I interviewed someone the other day. And they said We recreate all the old wounds or whatever in relationships like we subconsciously seek seek out relationships that will recreate those wounds. Which I think is setting is comfortable? I guess yeah you're used to it and I think subconsciously we're trying to heal the old wounds. Said you're hoping someone will come around and do do it differently but really it's the same pattern totally so unless you start doing your work like you guys did. You'll probably just repeat old patterns over and over and over so you'll therapy to love therapy. I think everyone needs to go to my God. It's for me. I'm like when I hear people being like I don't need to therapy. I'm not messed up or whatever I'm like nobody you don't have to be and we're all like affected by whatever it was like. You said it doesn't have to be some traumatic terrible thing your experiences shaped you. Yes so just go talk it out. Talk it out. I know so. It helps y'all to do. I love that three chair thing. How would you get to to your truth dare chair? Did you have to just feel so safe because when you actually sit in your in your wounded child or your Middle Tier manipulator and you're realizing what you're middle chair is doing to protect your child your wounded child when you actually have to sit in those chairs in like say eight. Oh you realize that it's not the truth. Yeah because it's it's just It's not as she. It's not a calm. She said anything urgent is not real. Either that's good like if it feels urgent. It's not real because the truth is always. The truth is always the truth. There's no urgency with the truth. So it's it's like you feel like I don't know if you just if there's crazy energy around what you're saying then it's not the truth because the truth calm the truth is just what it is and so what was your question. She just had a baby which culminated rain baby brain so yeah the League League really. Well I'm Kelly of my house. I have on sock over stretch pants. I have shirt that I slept this outfit last night. Actually the last night slept in and built manifest that shit which is also David Hasselhoff on my. I'm just like like really killing the game. I can't even remember what I don't either. I'm sure it was great people. We'll just this uh-huh therapy go to though. How do you get your truth chair? But you just said because basically. You're realizing that it wasn't even about that person or that it's done and once you're sitting the other two chairs and you realize that you're acting spasm. Yeah and then you have to go sit in the truth and she makes you tell you. What the truth is you have? Even if you don't know the truth is and you reluctantly. Don't I wanNA give into it. You finally figure out what the truth is to help you get there but you know it. Because it's the truth isn't urgent. The truth isn't angry. The truth breath isn't really like sp as the jazz and afraid right truth is just calm and knowing you know and so how to get to that place other chairs aren't there so if you're feeling anything but that then you're not you're truth the truth. That's a good one. You want some therapy talk. I'm here yet. Yeah also that obviously says a lot about how you Michael Place you are now. But let's talk about Sonny's we just talked about the baby. So how'd what does she knows me weeks two weeks so yet to to nine weeks tomorrow how has it been is an amazing. Yeah Ah I wanted a baby so badly. Yeah so it has been. I had her when I was thirty. Six years old and so I feel like I had tons of other friends to look up to. Yeah I've never been one. He's wanted to do anything I I'm not trying to pave the way. Yeah I want to see people pave the away I want to study learn analyze. Talk to them. I think that's why podcast an interview people because I wanNa know people stories so I figure things take the little pieces as you like and use them yet because I'm just like the world is so big and overwhelming to me. I need guidance. Yeah so parenthood always freaked me out. Although although I always knew I wanted to be a mom I just. I wasn't ready for a long time. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks and gosh and we had. It was a long journey for us. We tried tried for a year and had a miscarriage and chemical pregnancy. And like I never knew emotional. The journey was because you literally try not to get pregnant right and editors and then all of a sudden you're like wanted any like so hard. Yeah a lot of the time some people would get pregnant. I try it is easy but that just wasn't how it was for us and so it was really emotional really like Really hard year but it gave me such gratitude and appreciation nation for four th the gift of sunny and to carry her and have her and be able to get pregnant. Because I don't know if I would have appreciated it like I did because I would've just I thought it was easy and it's just not an such miracle. Did you have to do shots or anything. No we were about to have to prove we are gynecologists. Is like okay. You're thirty five at the time right trying for a year I had done around climate. which is fertility drugs? That like helps you ovulate more and we had gotten pregnant and then miscarried and then she was like your body really needs a break now. Because it's been through so much in like just so many things and so we just kind of like took it off the table. WPRO our like okay. You can't even get pregnant like we got a got to take at least three months off and I stopped checking ovulation because I was like on On a clock like checking my ovulation like trying to make it happen and I do think that stress does not help. No I know and everyone's like don't stress but it's like how would you not not. You don't want us then all of a sudden when it hasn't happened it hasn't happened then because in the beginning it wasn't stressful great and then all of a sudden like six months it happened. We'd had chemical pregnancy. It was bad. It's where you get pregnant early and it doesn't stick like five weeks he'd never like It never implants but you'll get a positive pregnancy test so it's like it has the sperm and egg have connected but they just don't in their as your uterus. Yeah so how did you figure out that went away. Because I took a pregnancy test and got a positive and then I started my period like a week later. A No it's so sad. It's really the mind part of that. I mean like the emotional thinking about it. I want it so badly but I mean there's just a bigger picture to it all you know and that's the one thing that I have learned already with. Parenting has like is such A. There's you gotTa have faith with with having a child with the whole process because it's just so much bigger than a human and we can't control any of it you know all you can do is just try to be the best parent you can be the best mom you can be but like Sonny's her own person she's on her own path and I'm just here to help guide her. She's not not mine. My possession or anything for me to like hoard. I just have to help. Guide her. You know and she's learning that so quickly. I think with in the process of getting pregnant and may release control early. So I'm grateful for that and I think just when I did get pregnant. I had a lot of anxiety during my pregnancy because I was so afraid of miscarrying the whole time and I wish that I wouldn't have had anxiety but it's just so hard your mind is so is so crazy with the mind will do you know especially like once you've lived through something it's like you keep replaying that fear and so she came it was we had She came into this world. It was literally the the most amazing day of my life and Michael Sube like just meeting her like knowing that like she is the one that came here and like I kind of believe that she chose us her parents and that she wants to have this earth experience in that I get her mom and Michael Gets to be her dad and so it has just given me such a joy to be her parent and her mom and to get to walk this walk with her. So even though it's exhausting and I'm tired and I look like a Hobo half at the time I mean literally terrible every day but I'm so grateful that I get to have this privilege because I know it's privilege and she's just the sweetest little thing she's so cute smiles now. Oh that's the Sassy me when I start reacting acting that way as a precious thing. What's the difference between people who prioritize self care and those who don't is it finally only fitting into their skinny jeans? Is it Vanity Superior Willpower a fat bank account at my body. They know it's none of those things. My Body understands it. True Wellness. Honest comes from a focus. On the journey itself the fifty minutes punching bag instead of scrolling instagram. The Yoga class share with a friend the ninety minutes of peace for the new mom and her hairdressers chair. The well earned massage after a crazy month. At work my buddy knows that health and wellness are no longer about checking a box. 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Like I'm not like this like baby guru person so it's an awesome to have the INSTAGRAM podcasts community. Because so many people have so much knowledge about everything so you ask questions and you get lots of great answers. Yeah so I've been doing a little mom chat and one of the last first podcasts. I did was on her. Burning Story and I said someone told me that when you have a child your heart literally is like on the outside of your body like it just. I'm still like hormonal hormones right now too because I'm reading my exit. We're like crying together. Yeah they're saying. Do you think that's genius. Yeah good decision thank you. Oh God yeah about your hormone shots not yet. I'm not to the shots pills. But I've literally been crying at the job of a Hash crime podcast. I'll let it out through a moment. Those folks really is. I know I've literally just been letting myself self do it because you don't really have a choice. It's like what's happening to you. What are you GONNA do? You can't keep an eye you gotta let it out so much better. It's like a release. Yes oh I'm so happy for you that you're using. Your big decision is a big decision. It's been a long time coming excited. I turn turn this on me. She's a podcast. Hosted is obviously they. I just I've been thinking about it for about a year and I just got to the point where I was like what you're saying. I got to the place where I was like. No I really do you want kids like The the idea of the choice not being there anymore is it really made me have to to look in the mirror and be like do you want kids or not I do. And so Yeah I had to just decide. This was the best route for me at this point. And it's been sorta scary but also kind of like powerful feeling and relieving at the same time so I think that is so awesome that you are just in. It's going to give you such a peace of mind so too and it's not gonNa make you like to rush into a relationship right skits pregnant. It kind of feels like they're a good match but like they're not really really who you want to be Your Baby Daddy. Right you know totally gets it. Took that pressure off. Because I I was like I gotta find a relationship and that just have a baby. Yeah and how do you like that. Like gossipy gossipy. Like let's also you're probably GONNA not end up with the right personnel. I don't WanNA settle and it has to be the right situation for me and that's always been the case so your the new things to just let it come when it's supposed to come. Yeah just that's kind of been deal for me and so That's what I'm doing. I'm proud of you. Thank you thank you. It's a big undertaking. Because you got it hasn't been so what is the process so I started on these pills. I and now this is disgusting but I just I'm gonNA tell everybody but I have to do suppositories twice a day like vaginal suppositories which is disgusting. But Do do that in a restaurant. Yeah that's what I'm I'm Yeah it makes me. That's the thing that's made me really weepy. I think I literally if someone in this is of course like my busy with higher to Oh. I didn't even think about that. I've been really tired but I thought it was. Just because I've been working so much I mean think about it on it but okay so we be maybe a little irritable and then yeah start shots December six spends two weeks shots. Two weeks shots. I feel like I'm crazy person in the belly I think so. Yeah and then you go in and they were saying eggs whatever they can get ya ask go under to stay so positive. Yeah I'm trying to so great and it's going to be so worth it and I always think when you feel we'll call to do something right thing the right thing. It's like the truth. It's got peaceful like. I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And now they're kinda sucks. I'm SORTA alike but it feels like even the bills right. Yeah and you're just like this is a season and you just do it and that helps me to hear about sunny and like you appreciating it because I understand that they will appreciate your because you've had to go through a lot and it's thoughtful like you really had to think about what you wanted and how you know like how Far You were willing to go to get it that that makes it even greater probably I think so. I think honestly anything that can give you. Appreciation life and I've realized a lot of times appreciation comes from the hard pain on the front end. You know and it sucks while you're going going through it in like I'm hormonal. You're on herself. which may like it sucks like having to go through it and yeah it it hurts your heart in some knows it breaks your heart? I know we're literally break your heart but to get your heart broke open because you want something and you have so so much love and your heart. Yeah or something that you don't even know exist yet like a child and a partner all that it's like you're willing to go through all this because you have have this big spot in your heart for it and you know that you want it so much that it just like when you do get it however it comes because I believe that God will not put that desire on our heart if it's not gonNA come so even ends up where you adopt kids or or write or children or whatever your family comes to you. I believe that not wanting a having the strong desire going through the fire for it you do like your love is so big and you have such an appreciation that you wouldn't have had otherwise I think I do too. I think that was for me like why ended up just saying okay. I just got to try this egg thing even if I don't get a ton or even if it's not EXAC- The outcome that I want I knew that I had to try every avenue to have that piece of like that you did. I tried so maybe there is another route for for me. Maybe it is adoption. Maybe I'll be a step mom. You know like whatever it is but I do know that for me. It was like to cross off all the things on the list and I know that I did on my part. And then we'll see what the universe has in store or you're not zone you half asses life. So you're don't you're like you're not going to take a shortcut and you got right right in your life where you're like okay. I've hit this time period in this lion. where I either? I'm GonNa do this freezing out thing or I'm gonNA miss this chance. It's totally you can't do it forever so you did it and I love that about you. Kelly is like I'm going for it. Yeah and whatever happens happens yeah. That's so exciting. I love how you turn this into a podcast interview for me speaking of that. Let's talk about the real podcasts. Because this is what you do on your podcast everything everything is based on you just want the real conversations with people right so tell us a little bit about get real. I think it started because I I like I struggle with self worth a lot and I think a lot of people probably do breast struggle with self worth a lot in my twenties and I was looking for validation validation and just I think that I always thought other people had life figured out maybe more than I did and that people they were like special people that were just they just had this like this like very magic wand that had been placed on their lives and every perfect. Yeah and I think that's why I wanted to get an entertainment industry because I'm like. Oh that's where all the special people are perfect. You know and so not true now. It's completely eft up. Those were all like just looking for something. There's amazing people people here. Actually I think everyone in the entertainment is beautiful souls but I started interviewing people and I. I got to know people's stories and when you interview people you get to ask all the questions that you member one to knowing you're not a total creep for doing right. You're you're awarded for your curiosity all of a sudden. I've had all these questions my whole. There's a fly that it's just circulating us. I mean it is wanting to hang out so hard. It's probably trying to comfort us. Give you a hug full of maggots. So I started interviewing all these people that I thought were so just perfect and they started sharing their life and their journey. And just what you said. You've realized that everyone that you've interviewed. We just had like a breaking point or like a totally moment where everything's falling part and I just started realizing that Gosh like everyone is like this everyone. Everyone has major highs major lows. Everyone has insecurities they've had to overcome. Everyone has like major failures and like I started realizing I didn't have to be afraid. Afraid of not being perfect you know and it was freeing and it just allowed me to actually start being way more real and share myself even more more than ever because I had opportunity doing all these interviews to really get personal gets no people on a deep level and see that everyone is going through struggles. Wasn't everyone has things. They've had to overcome and low and has it figured out. No one. Has it figured out. So it's given me just like total release to be completely honest list with everything and I'm pretty much finally sharing almost a pretty much anything because I'm like everyone is going through this. Everyone is is going through personal things like. I'm not going to try to be perfect because no one is. And that's not what helped me is hearing a perfect person facade. I want to hear the truth truth because I want to. I want to know that we're all in this together. And then on one. He's a total nut job. It's the connecting piece. You talked about earlier when you traveled. It's just like hearing people's stories that's for me when I'm like. Oh my God even what you just said. I struggle with the same thing I sit here. I look at you and your beautiful girl. How did you ever struggle with self worth those huge? I mean I still struggle to name and people think you if you are like working a lot or posting pretty pictures on instagram that you don't have those struggles our goal. Is this just not true but it helps me to hear that. I'm not the only one you know. Yeah what have you learned from interviewing people Just how much I like to connect with people. I didn't really know that about myself. I think I've done it my whole life just even being in the hair and makeup and styling world. That's what I do with my clients and I think that's why I've been with all my clients for as many years as I have But I didn't realize that's what I was just loving about that job because I'd get to be so one on one with them and then for me. It started on very cavalieri because when I started talking about being cheated on or even harder than our national is this I mean cause also it's like I guess it was still sort of embarrassing to me like I didn't really realize that but I had cancelled a wedding and done these the things that I didn't really advertise people. You know it's sort of maybe we're going to get married three months for my wedding cancelled a wedding. 'cause you default like it was the wrong because he cheated and I was like. I can't start a marriage that way. I don't know if we'll be together or not but I watched season one of this season. Two actually really love that show. There's this season theory. Yeah are still. It's still happening. Yeah there's there's still it's still filming coming but So yeah like you put that on the show on season two we talk. We had to talk about it because people were like. Why are you single? Like why and I for me. The dating journey has just been really hard after that. Like I've taken a had to take a Lotta time off dating i. That's when I started my real there. Oh yeah major trust issues and just like really look getting into why. I was getting in the relationships I was getting into holly like really hits. That Self Worth Button Leo. I did this happen to yet wrong with the you know. There's nothing wrong with you. It had nothing to do with me. That's what I know now that that took me a lot of years to get to and so there is that and then just talking about the exit and what that did for me though is being honest like you said it made me realize when people would message me or you know reach Out When I run into people in the street and they say thank you so much for talking about that. I'm going through the same thing or it's so nice to see a girl who I view as successful and whatever whatever yeah to hear that you're you know you have the same struggles as me like that. was I just loved that. And so that's what Kinda put into. My podcast is just like you said the curiosity step it also just connecting and isn't that like such a wonderful turning point to get to because I feel like for a long time. I wanted to have a perfect damage. I wanted people to think I was put together. I wanted everyone to think that I was like all awesome because I was hurting inside and I didn't want anyone to see that hurts. I'M GONNA keep this all like look and so good. I'm so busy like everything's awesome and then like exactly what you said doing this. PODCAST getting to to be vulnerable. Having people be vulnerable with me and realizing that that is really where the impact is is being wool in seeing the response of people on social media. Yeah it's like turn my social media into wonderful thing whereas more social media was it can be a compare trap you can fall through. Oh God yeah compare yourself now. I still have to take breaks sometimes. Yeah 'cause I do that I'll start and you just forget. This is people's best but you can't not life highlight reel but I feel like like being able to share real stuff has really helped me you social media and a different way. Yeah because I'll get tons of messages from women women who are saying the same thing like thank you so much for talking about that podcast. Thank you so much for sharing about that. Because I'm struggling with the same thing and I'm like this is where it's at. This is how we use this for good and now do you feel this way but I feel like I have. I don't want people to think I have a perfect lied shake. That's just not real. That's not who I. I still struggle with it. But it's not who I want to portray myself to be because unlike that's not a real person me exactly so let's just talk about the real shit Eh. I feel yeah. Amen reach all day long. Well so you can hear a lot of real shit on Caroline's podcast and get real and you mostly interview. Have you think you feel like you're branching out now but it started with the wives of country musicians because that's something you can totally relate to. What do you find like what's the common denominator amongst all of the wives? I feel well. I do think this is another reason. Why social media is great is because before social media the wives of stars were just more photographed with them and yeah I get to know who they were? Yeah they didn't have a CH- An opportunity to let their personality their interests their desires their passions. Be Known as much I mean still they could but it wasn't just as seen you know it'd be more dislike their famous has been their wife of XYZ. Yeah but now with instagram. I feel like all these women and anyone. In general general can have their own platform and use it for their own messages and whatever they WANNA put out there and I just feel like every single one of these wives a has beautiful hearts and they really want to use their lives to create to better the world to just spread Ed love. They're all wonderful women whether it's rescuing animals whether it's like starting clothing company whether it's volunteering and helping I children like it's the are doing something great with their lives and I feel like it's been so interesting to hear that story and also they've all had struggles like every one of them has struggles and they've had to deal with so much in their own lives and I I feel like it's just. Their perspective is so fascinating. It's so interesting because truly the woman standing by a man whoever the man is married to that woman is such a powerful person lately that it is the most important person in that man's life and so that's who he's going to sleep with every night that's who he's trying his deepest fears to that so he's bouncing ideas off of that woman is amazing amazing and jeeze influencing him so much and it's like who is she. What is her background? And so just getting to know all these wives. It's been amazing. I think people are interested. A totally thing. People are interested and I think it's cool because just like you said you always just looked at like. Oh the wife of so-and-so but leg what you said about their such strong women I mean I don't think maybe it's because we see this but I'm not sure that everyone understands what it takes to be the wife of someone either so famous or so successful people and busy. Yes that is a hard job yes to keep everything running amongst a career like that you know I have. All sectoral across wasn't really cool thing happening in country music in particular right now. I can't see for other genres but something about what's happening now is being married and having a family family is super cool. Yeah that's definitely happening. Yeah you know it's like something and Osama young yeah I work with all the Leeann Co guys. They're all married and proud to be married. Yeah totally it's not like back in the day like you didn't want to act like you're married because you guys like rockstar pursuing be single for the chicks right and it's just not that vibe five maybe it's like the the environment of the world like the how women empowerment movements and happening so much lately and like I don't know oh I don't know what it is but I just feel like being married and like respecting your partners. Such a cool thing doesn't make a man so much sexier so much I think it's just so much sexier Oh 'cause you're like you're talented. You're hot and you actually love your wife. Yoenis like stand by her. Yeah and like show off all the way the playboys playboy's Massa Q.. Not Cue that nobody I mean so you. So you're a playboy and some girl you have like a hookup. You get them for one night. The next night just left empty bill in anything and then that guy. He's not going to commit to you know he's going to be with you. Don't want to be. That's that's not that's not the goal I love that. Well you can hear these stories and more on the gate rail podcast. Where else can people find you? Instagram Graham Carol Hobby C. A. R. O. H. O. B. B. Y.. Body and then also you have a website right right I do. I need to do things with it. Always feel that way. I'm always like I'm updating my website. I'm GONNA constant state of updating like try to keep it up but now I'm like how did I get. I need any assistant. Yeah you gotta get an assist wants to win. This is my goal okay. Anyone listening wants to be an intern. Oh okay here. Amazing where do you find one. I got one but yeah oh can you teach me. Let's do this. Who knows how to do videos and can choose some youtube stuff? Because I would like to just do a little bit of Youtube. All the young kids can do these things these days by the way they. It's like I feel like another. That's another place Adama must I know it's like nothing to them. Dial Up Internet over there like over there just yes. Yeah so you need someone who do videos. I wanted the little youtube videos and then I would blog. I can put blogs. I just don't do it like if I could have an intern. Who could is laying all read the blog post it and then help me get little? Youtube videos edited and then really. That's it helped me link my podcast to my website so email you at care. Caroline Havi DOT COM. Okay L. L. Did your H. O. B. View I g mail dot com G.. Mill hobby gmail.com. If you want to be my intern and we this. I'm talking like one day a week. I got a baby so we got a two hour window. Yeah I'm not talking like much and I'll help you however you want. I don't know what you're supposed to do you. What's the trade you just like sign for for me? It was fill out this paperwork and sign off that. They're doing the work. Oh yeah so they need credit. My intern actually works for me now because she was so awesome so it could be the start of a great relationship guys. I'm Super Bowl. Yeah Yeah your fun. I mean maybe we'll come back on the tears. We'll work on that fire. Go get her. Who can like Hustle and get stuff done bass? Because I'm not trying to spend all day doing this I'll give you all the credit union young. He like a million hours. I'll say you did it. You don't have to come up with for as long as we can. Just knock it out. Okay we'll also. There's a lot of goals here. We're GONNA find Carolyn intern. You guys go listen to the get real podcast. Ask Her out on Instagram at carrow hobby. Thank you so much for doing this. I just want to keep talking to you. We'll have to do another one. We could just hopefully hopefully literally we should do another one and not cry the whole time or maybe. That's maybe people crying with us. Yeah purge of tears out today. I'm probably go crown away home or something I I know you've got to get it out man sad song and let it roll right. Well this is fun. Thank you for. You're listening by this. Is Kelly Henderson. You've been listening to the velvets edge. PODCAST I truly believe that every one of us has a little velvet and a little little edge so it's so important remember that's a be strong. You must be soft to thank you so much for sharing those stories with me. You can follow velvets edge on instagram Graham facebook and twitter as well as all of its edge DOT com. If you haven't yet go to apple podcasts and subscribe rate and review this podcast. Join me every Wednesday Wednesday for more conversations on lifestyle beauty and relationships. Thanks for listening. Oh getting pulled over for buzzed. Driving could cost you around ten thousand dollars in fines. Legal fees and increased insurance rates. Nothing nothing kills a buzz like getting pulled over for buzzed driving because buzzed driving is drunk. Driving brought to you by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration and the Ad Council.

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Marissa Martin: Top Hair stylist to celebs like Carrie Underwood shares what really goes on in her styling chair.

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

49:17 min | 9 months ago

Marissa Martin: Top Hair stylist to celebs like Carrie Underwood shares what really goes on in her styling chair.

"Pay off its caroline hobby here. And i'm so excited to tell you about peanut. It's an app that connects women nearby. Who are at similar stages in life new moms for example or moms to be or those trying to conceive. I have used the peanut app. And i'm telling you. I met some amazing women on this app. It's awesome if you're ready to get real with the community of like minded women near you. Download the peanut app for free at peanut dot app dot links. Slash gabriel or. Find it at your app store today. Hey it's caroline hobby we celebrate. We give we mask and we holiday. Special holiday face masks for the family are now available at old navy their jessil and made from breathable washable. Triple layer cotton according to the cdc recommendations for non-medical face facemask plus they come in handy multi packs and sizes for kids and adults shop. New festive plaid's fair aisles and amazing prints like santa's pink and more they make fantastic stocking stuffers five packs or twelve fifty and ten bucks or just twenty five bucks at your local old navy and old navy dot com the old navy dot com for details season queen own kid just look kiro thrill to have the one the only be over talented marissa's martin joining me today for all of you guys. Who do not know marissa. She is one of the top of the top of the top hairdressers stylist. I don't even know exactly what the term is here. Colorist in nashville. And i have been blessed enough to go to you now for years. You have perfected my blonde. It's the greatest blonde ever and you have so many celebrity clients that come to you including carrie underwood which is insane. Because she's like the quintessential bond of all blondes and we. That's a big responsibility to be doing. People like carrie underwood's here. I mean obviously my. Here's a big deal to but you know. Carrie underwood she's on. All these awards shows everyone's talking about everything she wears. She does how she looks. I mean which is hard enough as a celebrity. Have all that pressure. But is that pressure for you to have to have clients like that. Because i know you are you love it in. You are amazing. Is there a pressure side to it. also Yeah for sure first of all. That was a very sweet and trips and Yeah i grew up listening to some of the people that i do their hair or watching on tv and Definitely the first time. Doing their hair is a little bit nerve wracking. Just because you feel like it's your one shot you don't wanna mess it up. But yeah they if. I can just kind of disconnect maybe their fame or for they are like they just got ahead here. We'll give me one else. So yeah so when you have a client come into your chair and i can only imagine that every different type of hair is different every like some people kearlier out have thin people sick. There's all different types of hair. So how do you navigate that. Because i feel like you can't just do the same formula to every person like you have to assess the situation. Oh absolutely and i think what's really hard to is one. Everyone has their different lights dislikes. Like the kind of blonde that you like may not be the same kind of blonde that the next blonde lights and It's not only one figuring out people's likes but it's to trying to keep up with the expectations of pinterest and instagram and social media and There are a lot of different haircutters out there. I feel like when i grew up. You got one blonde where you got low lights and now there are ten different shades of blonde. And it's just it's fun. It keeps me on my toes but it definitely affect. My job is getting harder. People are martyr. So i'll do that too because people walk in with a picture and they're like make me this picture but then you actually make them that picture but then it doesn't look the same on them. It doesn't it's not really. Maybe the tone matches their facial or whatever and then all of a sudden this person's disappointed so like i've come to you before and be like can you hear read. I'm going through a national crisis. I need to go read near like Caroline way to i. We had a conversation. We're like okay. We're not gonna do any dramatic changes. You're gonna come to different times and if you still want it then you consider you almost talk to do it but only like i was like okay. You can't have it this appointment. Maybe the next appointment by the next point. You didn't even want the red anymore. That's hard to get people. It's so fun i can. Maybe it's not fun. But i can tell when something's going on in someone's life and when make union and like. I need all the blonde today. I'm like did you in kevin break-up duty to talk about it because normally that stuff kind of relates or gosh coming back from kovin on some sort of a pick me up in life had people down. Didn't know what to expect. People are just sitting at home all day every day. And i think that they're the way that they looked on the outside definitely helped with Maybe some mike some things on the inside. They were going through like if they got their roots. Touched up forgot that haircut or you know just had something change people. They just felt a little bit happier during the scene. Which was also cool about felt during cova like i felt like my roots had gotten crazy i love getting eyelash extensions and i had let them go and like hadn't on vote talks some forever and not that anyone needs to get any of this stuff but absolutely that makes me feel like a pick me up and makes me feel like refresh and like when i got my hair done i literally felt like a new person i felt so alive and i felt more vibrant and it does change your whole mood which is crazy that it really can affect you so much. How does how does that make you feel on the psychological side knowing that you actually are impacting people's moods and lifestyle i i have two sides of it. I love it. it's at some point. There's a little bit of vagueness obviously to do also such a how we look at so tied to our mental health which is why but it is cool to see that like just at the end of freshening up someone. Maybe it's the color that they've had forever like. There is such a lightness to them. Or i've had people cry in my chair. Just because they've never that pretty early yes that it's it probably makes me cry every time they crying That that's happened several times. People will literally look at themselves. I can't believe it. yes stand up. You know you get a big hug. They like text me back for the next couple of days there in their car. Taking a southie immediately just because they just feel pretty There are a lot of really awesome jobs out there like being a nurse or being a doctor. That's really rewarding. And i don't think i realized when i got into hair that that is something that i would experience Yeah it's really really special detain. Yeah amazing and also it is so true. I feel like when. I'm sitting in your chair. I just want to tell you everything that's going on in my life we could. You were there for like three to four hours so it's not all the time but sometimes it's like a lot of time and yes i feel like even though like you and i didn't start a relationship necessarily like as i got to know you i is a friend. You are one of my closest friends because you know everything about my life. And i know everything about here is like from your dating life like oh my god i love talking about who who you're dating and like looking at all those guys everything about sunny. Do you feel back to that. Like truly people if a truth chair when they sit down in your chair. They despise ed. What did they say it's like Therapists haired silas and bartenders are like the jobs that people sit in may dive into their personal lives. The most i mean. I heard the stories. I've heard that happiest stories. I usually know about people's before the world is about them one normally because i'm like hey. Are we doing coffee wind today. They say no. And i know they always drink. Brian share a second. My second question is always like sorry pregnant. every time i figured out someone's pregnant before they post about it. I love it love. But yeah i'm you know some people back to the rewarding part. It's released special. Because again i could be touching. Someone's hair just the normal thing that we've always done but someone dives into something that they're going in in life to end because of I think getting to release it in. Get it off their chest and just talk about it. Neither have a listening ear. Get advice or whatever the case may be they leave. And i'm not even done anything different but they hug me. They thanked me. And that's what i know like at that point. It's not about this year. It's just about the time about the hair. It's like the time that they spent with me and getting to talk about something that maybe they can't talk about with anyone else so it's really cool. So how do you handle being like a safe place secret keeper and like is that overwhelming for you to have all this late personal deep information that they're not sharing with anyone else like. How do you process all that. Okay do you do any agreements. yes. I love butter. You your for just the most emotional round ever. I mean like just oh losses my feelings and and the individualist. It's exotic until. Hey i'm a to the your helper didn't know that about myself before being like during the test but i think that that so i just have kind of like this vessel to take in people stuff and i really like people and i really love hearing what's going on. I love being the listening ear. So i don't know i think you can tell when it's genuine that someone really wants to hear about your life and actually cares. And that's me. I really do care so i love to hear how you how you do how you processes because sometimes when i hear stuff in it like feels heavy or it's like a big issue in one's life like i like internalize it. I carry it and sometimes i like can't get over it. What is your technique for loving that person hearing what they have to say like being a listening ear and offering loving wisdom but then also releasing it so you don't carry it in your own life and burden on yourself because that's really a trick that i feel like a lot of us need to learn is how can we be that listening ear and care but then not like curious in our on ourselves and in way ourselves down so then we become not like a an effective person and not and you know like it just adding baggage life. That isn't ours to carry. Yeah i will say that there are probably some clients that i had that definitely unload a little bit more and may have a little bit heavier stuff going on. And i'm a spiritual person. So i always just sort of set myself up for those people and just try to navigate. Whatever it is they need that day like is it just that they want me to listen. Is it that they sit down in my chair and wanted by. I will say now. After covid i see less people and so i'm i'm there to like sit and absorb. It's different than hearing ten different story today now. Only here for people's lives and then a lot of the times. I get home and immediately the first thing that i do walk my dogs until i need like some release time. Some downtime so mike not thinking about anyone else some not talking to anybody else. So i feel like the time to like sit in processing and I dunno just like d lightened from the day. Yeah i lent. it's kinda like a meditation. It's like okay. You had your day sort of life so release it all. That's awesome so you're like you have like a practice even though maybe you you intentionally did or didn't know you're doing that and i think that's so key due to have things like that in your day that do give you those breaks from the world and do give you those moments to clear your head into reset because if we never take a moment to stop in the whirlwind just continues continues and we never can release it in the new despite kind of stuck in a tornado. All the time absolutely. I think i figured that out through you know living with significant others having roommates. I would get home at the end of the day again. Some days you really like a really fun and then some days. They are really really heavy end. I think that the times. When i got home and didn't wanna talk to anybody. I close my door. And i didn't in room. That's when i started to figure out. I've got to figure out some bank to not let my day carry into the night or carry into the next day so i guess i kind of unintentionally getting dogs two years ago and having those walks and either putting on my headphones or just sitting silently in rocking the whole time yeah. I think that's kind of like my time. That i didn't know that i serve purpose and you become like a massive dog person around you. Got your dog like you're kind of like i feel like i feel like you were like super excited. But obviously there there's anxiety with getting a new puppy. Got your like it was like massive love. At first sight free fell so hard for you became like that dog person. What that's i feel like that happened with you. And motherhood you don't even know that this love exists and then all the sudden this thing happens in your life and i mean it was one of the most life changing things that i've ever gone through What did you had your life One i stopped going out as much. I wanna hang out with my dog. More than i did anybody else. Yes it just. It's responsibility and it's a schedule in. Its having a purpose other than just go into work everyday. Like i'm getting up and going to work and then coming home. Like i of these things that i had to take care of and that i love and i can't say it all the time if i talk about them too long. I cry. which is why old that. I did not even know that i love like this existed. And it's just different. It's i'm sure you've felt it was sunny. It's like people say you love your husband but you really love your baby. Yes yes and it's so true. And i think Something about the innocence. And unconditional -ness of i mean. It is like a puppy and a baby. I mean it's obviously there are different but it's that same pure love that is just so pure and so free and hasn't been affected yet by the world and it's like you or the one when you get this little baby that is giving it its You're you're i mean. Obviously every human has own course and the you can't control what happens to every human or animal but like you have the chance to really shape this little being's life and it's a huge responsibility and you just want to like preserve their innocence and keep them so safe unhappy in the joy that a little puppy and a little baby can exude. It's because it's just so pure you know we'll hand it almost gave me. I didn't even realize that it gave me another reason to work all like dogs. Don't need a lie. But at the same time i have always wanted to live in like a high rise condo. I am way more city than i am. Country life yard lies but seeing my dogs run around my front yard. The only think of is i want the biggest house with the biggest yard. Once i can adopt five more dogs too so that they can just run and run and run and obviously you have to make money in order for those things to happen. And i'm like i just. I don't know it's something else to work for to be able to provide for in another though you're like self made woman which i find so inspiring an amazing like you are the kind of woman who bigger dot your career which i want to know how you got into hair and when you decided to do hair. New light didn't just decided to do it. You're like i'm going to be the best at doing hair. And i'm going to work so hard and you work so hard he works. I mean pre covid. I'm even during covid hours. You work as much as a human can possibly work and you're always cheerful. You're always happy. You always have this light energy about you but you're like focused and a mo- when it comes to get your job done you don't mess around. How did you get that focus in. How did you get that determination to be the best. Because that's a big deal to be doing the kind of clientele that you do. I first and foremost absolutely love what i do. I've always loved any and everything beauty. And even i went to a college crack highschool until around junior year. They started to be like okay. What do you want to do for the rest of your life because that's where you will apply for college and it just wasn't even an option not go to college with my parents. Were college graduates. My sister wasn't college. And i just sat there and i kind of ran through all the different jobs that i could do. An i could not see myself in any of them. And when you start to do those tests in eastern figure out where you're like dislikes where remind was always everything beauty and then in my head i'm thinking about. How do i be a hairstylist. And still go to college sorority date. Frat guys hardee's. Because i wanted that part of my life but also i wanted to do hair. My parents were really supportive instead. You can go to college as long as you want as long as you pay for it so i came up with this high school plan that i was going to go through here. I was going to drop out my senior year. It's gonna be in beauty school. Because i wanted to graduate this same time. Everybody else did in my head. If i graduated from college then went to beauty school. I was a year behind everyone else making money. They would be living at home for a year and already finding a new hairdresser until it got to junior year. I told my parents. I was like this is my last one like i still wanna do it during college. I had a sign up sheet on my door for every shorty. Formal date party. People signed up slots to come in like do their hair before the foreign moles or you let coloring or styling it i would styling and then i gave haircuts to people but i did not color. That was a little like before you were even. If or like i'm gonna do this. I'm start now. Yeah even in high school doing like prom makeup hair in college. I think people just knew that that was my plan. I always talked about it in so honestly. I don't even know what anyone's hair look like in highschool college. Like if i were to go back and see any of those pictures. I'd probably be mortified. Was better than what other people do. So they just they signed up in. I came my junior year and did an. I actually went to the beauty. School that might hairstylists daughter. Went to she sort of the way. I was like okay. I really like where she where. I love her mom. Obviously she's my hairstylist. In so i went to read can beauty school. I think i probably regretted the whole time. It was everyone senior year. It was their senior football games. Senior foreign all. And i was living at home with my parents and being like. Why did i do this. But every day i loved doing hair so do you think worried about like the. Do you worry about the time clock like you did then like you. Do you worry about it now. Like you did then because i used to feel like there was a big time line all the time like you have to stay on this time line. By this point you know you need to be graduated from college by this point. You have the steady your this point. You need to be married by this point. You'd have a kid by this point. You need to do that. And it's like there was invisible. Time line that i felt like was always hovering around which i don't feel i mean it's still it pops up but like i don't feel it like i used to do you all that you felt the pressure of a timeline. When you were in college like make stuff happen immediately after world world just hadn't said in yet you know. College is a little bit of a of a fantasy time. You know like my schedule. Every day was i'd go to class for two hours and then i'd go tanning and then i'd go to the gym and then i had you know go and see a frame and i felt so busy and so you know exhausted by the end of the college week and i think i got into beauty school and i was stepping into the real world and i was twenty one. I had left my boyfriend in college. I think i just missed you know living at my parents house and i was like what am i doing. Why did i rush this. Why didn't i just do one more year. It ended up being one of the best decisions that i made though. Because just like. I thought you know i graduated when everybody else did. And at that time social media wasn't a huge thing was still posting some pictures but you know when people thought how many hairstylist you know a lot of them only knew me and so when i started working at a salon all of these people from college started coming to me all my friends family so i was really blessed that right off the bat i got really busy. I don't know that that would have happened if i did waited a year and just finished college so at some point my little high school plan ended up working. Hey it's karen hobby. I wanna talk to you about an amazing product for our kids. Called pet pet is a clean baby. 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Hand sanitizer eliminates ninety nine point nine percent of many harmful germs and bacteria while keeping your baby's skin safe protected and soft visit pet baby dot com and get thirty percent off with the code. Get real that's pi. T t be a b. y. dot com and get thirty percent off with the code. Get real hi. i'm katie. Lowes host of the podcast. Katie's crib with a big dose of empathy. And an even bigger dose of humor. Katie's keeps things real while providing an indispensable guide for parents trying to find their way whether it's baby number one or baby number four. Here's one of my favorite moments from the show presented by dove beauty bar. Glennon doyle i was seeing on your instagram. Your daughter was kind of twisting the beautiful lessons. She's been taught in her life. What was what was it. She said i know dot as she. Just be grateful. But i also know that you can be grateful and all and demand what you know you deserve in this time in place. It's more important than ever for women to say what they deserve. I deserve airpods is what she said. Mika switch to wti today and get more from your soap and check out new episodes of pd scrip. every thursday. it is grim is available on iheartradio apple podcasts. Or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you believe in digitalization and speaking things into reality. Because obviously you're talking about this for years and years and this is your plan and you started doing hair sign up. She's before you're even beauty school and you had this focus on those plan and do you think that's a huge part of making your dream come true and then also do you feel that. Where did this drive to work so hard because a lot of people work in they like. Have you know. Just make enough to get by. But you work to be the best like talk to me about that all that. Well you know that we love manifesting in visualizing and everything else. So i think that yes now i know but i don't think then i knew what i was doing I will even say working at my very first salon which i worked there for a year. I had guy client sit in my chair. And i was probably a month or two into doing hair and he said what is like your long term goal. Do you want to open up a salon. Like what do you wanna do. And i was like well. I think one day. I wanna do celebrity hair like entertainment here like i. Carrie underwood has someone who probably does her hair and her makeup shocking actually said carrie. Underwood i did. Because i don't think she was a blonde. I really liked vons. Maybe i knew that she was like in nashville. I'm not really sure why i chose her. But yeah i said that. And i was like you know i know that she has someone so i kinda wanna do that for someone. I wanna be there person. Who does their hair their make. They travel and the guy goes well. Carey is actually a friend of mine and so is the person who does her hair makeup. And i totally see bidding in at that salon like i just don't picture you here and i was like one. That's really cool but to a month or two in a hair. So i can't make a switch like i need to stick this out and i continued doing his hair for like eight months and the owner of my salon. Melissa we ended up running into each other twice and the second time after i ran into her and she just she look parlor three. She does carry under says her styling her hair for not color but she liked does all the hair styles for the awards and everything over makeup. melissa is the greatest human on earth. Yes she is fantastic. And i thought you meet her and she just she never. She never meets a stranger instantly. Just become not even a friend. These become part of her family and Yeah i just totally got sucked into her and her salon is beautiful and just walking in the the energy of that salon. I just i really feel like in life. You know when you know and so many different areas in like. I walked into that salon and i knew that that was my home What is the feeling of you know. Feel like i think there is a piece. there is I had moments of of you question. You've got dow you just you know that something. Just what if there's something better. What if there's something else even at my first salon. I really thought this isn't my forever. But i feel like this is the best i just running to be. I don't even know that poverty was even on my radar in. I walked in one. I met her in two. I just walked in and the energy. I just knew that was where i was supposed to go. But it probably wasn't until i stood behind the chair and i just started working that even standing in that spot. I just felt like it was home. Like they're still like there will be no. We're said i will go And i've been standing in that same spot behind that same chair for i'm a month away from it being six years and i feel like time has flown like it just feels right. What have you learned being hairstylist. What are some of the lessons. If you're to write a book some of your bumper sticker bullet points be especially with dealing with the clientele that you deal with. Because you're dealing with a lot of celebrity clientele you're dealing with people who really you're just dealing with people who their their image. I mean not that everyone's image doesn't matter but like a lot of these images images are in the public is so what have you learned from your job about people about work ethic about our mean anything i one i will say about people again back to the whole kind of mental health or like how someone is feeling like their hair really does tied to that So i think one. It's about the people i it's not about the hair it's really diving into like. How is someone doing. What is the hair that i'm about to give them going to. Do you know after breakup post baby post marriage. Sometimes people wanna make address change and it's not necessarily because they want the change but it's because they're trying to overcompensate for something else that's going on So i really tried to like listen and dive in vido people's energies because you get someone bangs after a break up and they're going to be useful or i have wanted to get bang so many times when i felt like i was in like an emotional state and your is like like. Let's let's think about this. Let's really think about ads in. I know it's also you know like maybe someone doesn't like their hair that day and then they come back in there. Like at actually wasn't about the hair. I didn't even tell you. I've got this massive thing going on and i took it out on you many times at happened in life when maybe someone isn't kind to you or someone is upset and like you haven't even seen them all day but all day before you know someone cut them off for. Someone did something in the grocery store so wanna try much take things personally to think also not taking things personally is not being hard on yourself in being a hairstylist and trying to live up to today's expectations with filters with a minute. Before and after of a transformation that took someone nine hours to complete when trying to keep up with the jones next door. You know like a hair stylist in another state post. Something that's really awesome man. This longtime kind of yours leaves just because they'd seen that one picture in it looks like something that they've been dreaming of in its its tax. Shoot people just as much as they get attached to me and so sometimes that work personal life balance of not taking it personally when someone chooses to go separate way and and that is that is interesting. How do you navigate that because you do become friends like we. Obviously we're talking on. You really sure your solar your hairdresser and so you have formed a relationship with someone and for whatever reason they leave like. How do you process that over. The years have learned to tell myself they could have left for a number of reasons. Either i got too expensive. I changed my schedule and it doesn't fit. There's anymore Maybe they didn't like what i had to do maybe They moved to our drive. So normally i can tell. If i've never heard from the person again then all sort of let those thing. This is that for any clients out there. I see you out and you don't come say hi to me. I'm like okay. Then it's probably that you just didn't like hair ab so we are most of the time they will run up on mri so much. Like i started a new job. And i can't do during the day anymore. curl don't worry or whatever the case may be excel at the end of the i have to be okay that i know that i have given my best to someone and if my best was enough which is totally fine. Know there are people who match with with you will find someone that he match with and luckily i've mentor a lot of assistance. Along the way that they know my tips and tricks but they've also got my spins on things. So i say that too like if i'm not the perfect fit for you and i've still got four other assistance that maybe their personality maybe their spin on things. Maybe their schedules work on a saturday. Maybe that psych. What fits someone better. 'cause i still love everyone who sits in my chair and i just want their hair to be taking care of them to feel great. So i've been toward a lot of great people who i at least once you're in their hands than like you're the best also but that's big of you though talking about your list of reasoning for letting people go and like when they leave or whatever which ethnic is not frequent but obviously it does happen and you know sometimes people just like you said they saw pinch photo like i need harry like that. And they make a dramatic change or they dislike feel like they need a u-turn her life and for whatever reason if somebody leaves and probably you want you probably take it a little personal but then you know the way that you're explaining it like you're so much bigger and so much more above this and i feel i that is probably key to happiness because it is a it is a personal job but then it's also a business at the end of the day so it's like you have to walk that line. Yeah yeah with. Every person that may fall off and get a new person in their place like again. I love people. It's part of the reason why left my job am to get to hear someone else's story or someone else's take on life or to get a new person in your taylor who's excited about their hair in their excited to see what you have to give them. There's just this new energy that kind of comes with new people So yeah it's a really special part of my job. Just like the people connection that i get to make and then it's an all different areas of life you've got clients in all different states in different industries with all different backgrounds. So it's just it's really cool. I love you just said that that is that is such the perspective to have in life. Michael and i are watching frozen all the time time right now because sunny is starting to love the moody in so like every morning we putting frozen and setting comes in and we just she just loves it and it's so fun because we have family movie time but michael in particular has been talking about the little snowman. I don't know if you've seen frozen yet. I hadn't seen it until okay. Well once the kids come into your life. It's like one of those movies. You see all the time but those little snow brand name ola. He always finds the positive in life. Even when things are bad like he feels and he notices what's bad but he chooses to see the happy side of life and he chooses to see the curiosity satellite and the the side of life that is magical when both sides of live for existing. There's that trend. Then there's also this like all the other forces at work that are negative and could be depressing or pulling you down but like he just lives in this happy magical space and when you said i love to see the new people come in because it brings a new energy like to me that is like how old lives like you're choosing instead of yes. I'm sure you can more on a little bit. The loss of some loss of someone that you loved but then also it's like you're so excited about the possibility of the new person coming in and what a way to live life because it keeps the magic going and keeps your excitement and it keeps just incredible energy going. 'cause it's a blessing to have yet. That's one of the best things about the job to you. Know like i love what i do and i say educated in practice on when i do but i i do i mean i guess it's a talent to be able to do the physical work within also have this conversation and be able to engage doing it at the same time and it's sort of a double whammy one. I get to practice my skill. But to i feel like i am an expert on wedding planning expert on giving birth an expert on building houses an expert on how to put out a song onto spotify like really again like all of these different areas of people's lives and someone will be talking about something about giving birth on my my gosh. I totally know what you're talking about. And i've never had so many people sit in my chair and i'm fascinated by it. I'm sure that. I asked you about your birthing experience. Or how does it feel having a new baby. I mean you have pumped sitting in my chair side of so many times coming away. I and i it's fun you know. I'm i wouldn't say that. I'm not book smart. I'm book smart. But i'm lucky. Life smart in owning ways. That i didn't know about before doing hair Someone will tell me about something. And i'll probably go home. Maybe this is another part of my de-stressing today. Maybe someone told me about essential oils and just will go home. And that's what i'll do for two hours just to unload or building a house and just sit there and unload for two hours in research like what are all the things that people are doing and yeah it's fun. It's you're curious person curious. Yes i love that i think. That's what keeps you young. Keeps you engaged. Keeps the magic in your life. Is that curiosity. And that's awesome. That's probably why one of the reasons why you thrive along with your talent. Is people love to be around you and you love people. Yes love the gross. So another thing. That i love is talking about dating with you because i've been out of the dating guard a decade now and i always find it so fun to hear about all the new apps that you have going on and all the new the cute guy is like oh my god one time you me and gabby you had these two guys that you had just like met. And we like off their instagram's and i felt like i was a teenager. Walker look alike. Oh my god that paul walker look alike. We're like how do we have a day with this guy. All by years of therapy are going down. The drain have so much. Fine with you and listening to live vicariously through your dating life. And i feel like you are such a good navigator. Updating because like your. Did you like your third or twenty nine your twenty-nine almost thirty so you are so wise. Now you have this great career and you really know what you're looking for when it comes to dating to talk to me about dating dating these days. What is that like the sizes music to live vicariously through you and loving it one. It's kobe so i feel like it's definitely a weird time today. I don't know. I've always been in this mentality of china to overly seek it out. You know what's meant to be will. It will find you when it's time so. I've never done like tinder. Bumble or hinge but there is that fine an app that we got on the guy every whatever you it's the best i like. It's so great. That was not hour. And i was dating but like holy cow. That's the best right and it's it's For anyone who doesn't know it's. I feel like not a real gay dating app. It's definitely you just get like these random people who are different you know entertainment industries or whatever come industries all over in so yael. Cb's as a model an actor who feel so unattainable the identical like he was like is. This person will never get over him. We'll never get a member. He was so good looking But yeah i'm besides that one's just for fun. I i don't know it's a weird time today. You know in the past pre covid. I think most people felt like they would run into someone you know either at a bar or you've seen at a concert or may be at a football game at and got just doesn't exist right now in so i'm definitely taken a step back from it. I'm just enjoying what life has to offer. It's a really slow time in general some just spinning this time working on me and spending time with my dogs I don't know for the people i felt like. Who are really seeking it out. They say nashville is a really terrible place today why he the ratio of gorgeous successful girls to gorgeous successful. Guys is like ten to one so way more girls. Yeah but This nashville stress. There's a lot of pretty girls a lot of like top boss women in their industries. I don't know i liked. That can be really intimidating guys. That's definitely something i've dealt with because you are a powerful boss woman like how is that when you are in the dating field. Is that hard for guys to handle. Sometimes i don't know if it's hard for them or maybe i make it up that it's hard for them. Because if i am not going to lie. I was a guy. I would be intimidated You know i'll sit twenty five. I'm established in what i'm doing is thank you. I will take that. I don't know. And i i'm this industry is one where you just you have the ability to make really good money or to have like your your face your persona put out on social media and have that blow up so i i don't no. I'm working speaking of therapy working on it in therapy. Oh my god. I don't know if that's something that i put on guys that. I think that they're intimidated by it. Or maybe they really are intimidated by it. But yeah i want someone to come in. I want someone to be a boston what they do to. I wanna be able to share in successes. You have to feel like. I could diminish mine because maybe there's isn't going so well. So i get that totally i think. That's totally legit. And i think you've done so much work on yourself and you worked so hard that you shouldn't have you shouldn't have to settle on that because being married as big commitment so we might as well just have to find the right one. Yeah i think everything when you know you know and i. I just haven't quite known yet. I dated some really incredible people but You know everyone deserves their person. And i'll know when i signed mine you will. Yes you will. Having sooner than later feel it feel all the energy. Yes crossed everything on Well okay. I'm going to wrap up. I absolutely love it. We got to this podcast. I wasn't he gave me like the greatest blonde. We did some more blinds. Oh my god. I just felt like elsa 'cause i'm washing a frozen all the time also this blonde main. I feel like i can sing like her now. And i'm just finding love. It mayor mayor did that air transform. So i'm so appreciative in the tonight we like we're gonna try to whip it out and you're like so go the flow you've worked all day and we're trying to look at eight o'clock podcasts. But sign no. I worked too late. And i was like i will not be best. If i have the weekend. I will be best so so glad. We got to have this conversation. And you're such kind soul and spirit and just love your energy. And i love your talent and i'm grateful to be in your presence so always wrap up with leave your light. What do you want people to know. I want people to know that. Although i do make ball beautiful on the outside i want someone to know that when they sit in my chair. I hope that they walk away. The more beautiful on the inside and to not take too much stock in what social media or instagram. Or anything else tells us what is beautiful because everyone is so different and they have such beautiful things to share into show and yet. I'm i'm appreciative of everyone. Who gets to sit in my chair. I walk away. And i'm also feel more grateful that i am to some or you just like the swedish human that ever lived on this earth. I mean larisa. That is so beautiful kind. Where does that kind heart come from. Where do you have that like. Just deep compassion for people and i'm very spiritual so i just i have to give it to god. I mean god is just like my number one person in. That's just what we're supposed to. We're supposed to show love and give him. I just hope that that shows it does and your amazing and thank you so much for joining me. You keep for inviting this and thank you for giving me here and making me feel so great. You are welcome and you are such a gorgeous energy to. You're one of my favorite favorite people to have in my chair. I always feel like i walk away. And you never sucked the life of me at anything. Actually like i gained so much so sweet. Thank you. I appreciate that you're the sweetest love you dearly. Thank you for coming. I'd have occurred you to bye bye. Hey caroline hobby we celebrate we give we mask and we holiday inn. Special holiday face mask for the family are now available at old navy. They're just and made from breathable washable. Triple layer cotton according to the cdc recommendations for non-medical face facemask plus they come in handy multi packs and sizes for kids and adults shop. New festive plaid's fair aisles and amazing prints like santa's penguins bears and more they make fantastic stocking stuffers five packs twelve fifty and ten bucks or just twenty five bucks at your local old navy or old navy dot com see old navy dot com for details. You know exactly where you were when the golden state killer was arrested your moderator on the zodiac killer separate during search a new challenge and her salt they hit podcast which you at the center of the investigation solve is like no other murder mystery guest. You'll piece together evidence to track down killers hiding in plain sight. 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Mid-Week Mom Chat: Betsy Hobby (my sis-in-law).

Get Real -w- Caroline Hobby

1:13:19 hr | 1 year ago

Mid-Week Mom Chat: Betsy Hobby (my sis-in-law).

"Payouts Caroline Hobby Self. Karen routine are always important. Whatever you're using to get ready for the Dacian make you feel amazing meet. Billy. They've recreated everyday essentials by delivering premium razors and high-performing bodycare directly to you know pink tax. No visit to the drugstore breaking the bank get started by going to my billy dot com slash. Get Real to get the best razor. You'll ever own trust me. I use it best part. The starter kit is just nine dollars. Plus free shipping always go to my billy dot com slash real spelled. B. I. L. E. DOT COM slash. Get Real Heo Cowan Hobby. Here look sometimes alongs. In Yoga class isn't in the cards. So maybe a cookie is pepperidge farm. Moulana believes you should take some time for yourself once in a while. Now that I'm a new mom. I enjoy a long hot bath at glass of wine. At of course them WANNA cookie when I get a little downtime. Milano cookies are truly a treat. Worthy of your meantime they're delicate and crispy with a luxuriously rich chocolate in the middle. You really want to keep these just for yourself sir. Remember to say something for yourself with Pepperidge Farm Alano Care Sees League. Is Borough really pull moment because I have my beautiful talented marks capable brilliant sister-in-law joining me Betsy Hobby Hugh sister in your closet right now? Yes hoping to have some peace and quiet for the blocked. The doors and no one knows in here you kids. Yeah they're out there somewhere. So that's something I want to start with because you do it. All you run an amazing company. A glass business called sterling glass where Y'all like. Install glass on all types of automobiles playing trains automobiles all across the country. You run it as a amount which is amazing with your husband land but like it's your business that you started which is so incredible. You have five children aging ages from what what one to data will be was. She's fourteen so so from wound. Fourteen you come from a family of thirteen kids which is amazing. I mean how do you that is something? Every time I talked to you on the phone. I'm always like how do you do all this when I stop and think about it? I wonder that myself it's like you know how it. How can I even possibly fit all this a day but I really think that everyone has a full plate that everyone you know everybody has the same amount of hours in a day and you fill them up so my hours are just build differently and very strategically so that I can fit everything in. I don't necessarily think that the busiest person in the world. I think that you know my time. Just feel like anyone else's with the things that you know against that are at right now. Just sorry we cut up done. Yeah that's about low on top of it. You work on my Gosh in here comes Michael on a four wheeler. I need to tell him to be quiet now. This is called. Get Real podcast. If I think they're going on a Rod. Yeah we listening but we are actually in my in town right now. Newberry South Carolina. Gosh on I am. Hopefully they're not going to be zooming all vice. I'm a four wheeler because we came down here just to ended up just getting to enjoy some quarantine time and since some time with family let sunny gets no her cousins more and it's been so fun but we're podcast immigrate trip. It's been great trip. Such a great trip. I MCKENNA SHOWING SUNNY. The way on how to like get Swimming Pool. Eat real food. You know do bicket staff mechanism. One-year-old yanked is probably GONNA be getting her in trouble soon leading her down the wrong paths but then I admire about when you had this berry. Full Day you'll wake up and go like workout at five in the more three in the morning or something on top of like at one point you told me you woke up like three in the morning just to start your day to May health. It's always been important I'm type one diabetic as you know our insulin pump and you know it could be a crutch or an excuse or whatever but I kind of use the fact that I am diabetic as to me sometimes I see it as an advantage because almost four to be more health conscious and you know for me to be able to manage five children to to run them around and to be there for them and to run the business into do all the things that I do a day I have to stay. Active in stay fit and mental. Health is really important for me and that is my time. You know. That's when I'm I typically work out by myself. I do enjoy group mark outs but you know when I get in the zone whether running or You know lift weights are Android Cross. Spit or doing anything like that. It's just kind of me time so kind of prepares. I don't know prepares and sets the tone for the day I would say and Like you you don't you can't get up at no matter what time you wake up in the morning if you wake up early and you work out like you pretty much feel like a bad ass like you own the day you've just you set this Town the tone for the day that your in control and you know like if you oversleep and you're just behind in your you didn't halftime show or or get dressed up Another thing that I liked to do in the mornings as even during this quarantine is I I can't just lay on the house and wear pajamas all day like one day last week. I got dressed and had heels on and look I was going into the office and I'm at home and Linden's where are you going. I just I needed to dress up for a second. You know to make myself feel prepared. I think working out for me is more of just keeps me in check keeps. My mental health keeps my physical health. It's important for me in. It's it's not easy. It's not like I you know the clock goes off and I don't jump out of bed. Happy to run to the gym. I struggle with it and it's something that you know. I have to decide the night before. If I'M GONNA do it set my clothes out you know and I actually think about the reasons why I'm GonNa do it so that when I wake up in the morning. My reasons are stronger than my excuses. And how big the biggest thing that I think of when I wake up and it's like you know I could just snooze and go to sleep and you know do this tomorrow whatever but I always think I will not go work out and feel bad about it but if I don't go I'm going to feel bad the rest of the day like whatever eventually do get up and be like. Oh man I should have went so it's important for May and It's been really tough during the scorn team because of just the completely different structure or lack of structure. I should say but You know I've been getting maroons in here. And there and taking the baby for a jog and just doing the things that I can so I I do enjoy that. So you mentioned living with type one diabetes. When did you find out that you had it? And how how have you navigated that because you already have on your plate in? That's a lot like you have to really think about it all the time. So how have you navigated that? And what have been your different emotions feelings and vases and just Your outlook on it. Well I was diagnosed when I was seventeen. And Seventeen is a very I would say trying time for anybody anyway But for me it was a a different point of my life because I was home schooled and I had a law siblings and grew up. Berry sheltered. I would say and the year that I found out was actually my first year ever in public school and it was really tough year. It was exciting and fun and I wanted to go to public school. It was something that I had asked. My parents for Really really wanted to play sports and get into you. Know sports that that was interested then And I remember being diagnosed in at the time and being that age you know I think I I just thought this is just. This isn't fair like I've twelve siblings. I'm the only one that gets diagnosed with this And I think I would. I would go through different feeling that I had been sick for months and months. Not Knowing what was wrong. You know had a lot of different symptoms but it never added up in. Once I found out there was a sense of relief that at least I know what's wrong and weakened fix it but I do remember being so overwhelmed by the thought of the rest of my life and you know you get so wrapped up in like I can't me. I see like their certain points in your life where it's like a changing point a defining moment in your life you know few get engaged the day you get married that day you find out you're pregnant the day that you find out you had or the day you have a miscarriage days you know that from that point forward things are not the same and the thought of you know. I have to live with this every day for the rest of my life at the age of seventeen is so overwhelming that there was times that I just Kinda gave up and I think that the seriousness of it and the thought of death are not making. It really didn't click. It was just. I'm not doing this. You know and My parents were there for me and I can remember them taking me to this one doctor who actually happen to be a diabetic and she said she explained it to me in a way that. I feel like I've looked at a lot of things in my life. And she said you know you do have to do this for the rest of your life. But what if you never your teeth before a Hin? Suddenly somebody came to you with toothpaste and toothbrush. Was like you're going to have to clean those things in your mouth twice a day for the rest of your life. Like how overwhelming would that be if it wasn't part of your routine and she said this is going to become part of you part of your routine just like everything else and once? I really Kinda grasp that it was like you know what it's not. It is very serious. It is life threatening but I can control this. You know I can manage this and handle this and I stopped getting so well MD with the rest of my life and just tried to think about you know today. I'm going to check my blood sugar and Take my shots and do all the things that I need to do today and I'm not going to think about the rest of my life because you know I gotta take a shower every day the rest of my life or most days all the all the stuff that you do. I mean it is overwhelming and it is something else I do that. A lot of people don't but I do feel like in a way it has you shaped me to be who I am but it's also you know I feel like I'm very healthy because I'm diabetic. Which is you know. It's kind of weird to say that But I think if I wasn't I wouldn't pay such close attention to you know to to all aspects of my health so Weird to say. I'm thankful that I am but I am very thankful for my outlook on it and I don't. I don't ever you know there are days. It's tough where you know. People that are diabetic. Have high blood sugar and then or bottoms out and we gotta eat sugar and then it goes high and it's just hard to kind of get back under control You know there's days struggle. There's stays that eat. Things shouldn't and pay the price and remind myself why don't but Overall I mean I do feel like it's helped me to become the person that I am will and you are so I made you take the test today because I have you ever taken the ideogram today. You are just such a bad ass in every since the word is like you are definitely either. Three is an achiever or one which is a perfectionist. Because you just it it done. You're like in energizer. Bunny 'cause we swinging with the kids on swing and you're like oh here. Let me help you a son and I was like I'm not. You're the one that needs to break. Not many. I have one kid. You have five and you're running huge business and you're like oh no I love it. I love my day to be like super bowl in like every ounce of weeds squeezing every ounce of the day and I just think that is between. You're just so inspiring to me in that way because I can send domino's all day actually. I can actually day in Pajamas all day and totally be okay with it which sometimes I'm like. I just like you just get it done in. So that is that's one Amazing to be around. You see all these things that you do so you started a company when how old were you when you started your glass business. Because you've offer Howell going on. Will well actually started sterling glass in two thousand nine so alive nine. So we're sneaking up on an eleven years this July. I've been in the industry in the glass industry for about fifteen years so talk me about your process of how you landed upon this company like starting this company in what it takes to run a company like this okay so So right out of high school okay. So I mentioned I was home schooled and Berry sheltered and right out of high school was a lot of excitement of going to college and For May it was more about partying meeting people having a good time And I think you know. Obviously that's I don't know I guess what they call the preacher's daughters the wildest one but you know just being sheltered a little bit. You just wanted to let your hair down. Yeah let my hair down go experience things and I did not have a bad childhood by any means and I would not trade the way that I was raised for anything because I feel like all of that played into helping me the things that I want achieve and learn I feel like I'm very blessed for the childhood had but at that time it was like okay. You know enough of being sheltered like I won't experience everything on the world and That came along with some very quick boyfriends and I didn't date much or anything but anyway long story short was in college party in Ended up not doing really great in school and always been getting in school so it was just. I just didn't have a reason or a want to. I was really there for socializing I went to land our for semester and come back to Colombia Actually at that time I was a front end manager of winn-dixie Grocery store which had become front and manager when I was seventeen years old while in high school and playing sports I was working like forty hours so I started this doing a lot. You know in the time that you're given from a pretty young age And I I've always really thrive to do my best and you know the apartment me envy's people like you that you say you can lay on the couch and be in pajamas all day. And you know part of me envy's that because I can't really enjoy that and sometimes you know if a rainy day and I can I can get into it every once in a while but sometimes I wish I could put the brakes on it and But then I think you know this is who I am. This is what I enjoy but Getting back to muster up getting side tracked Move back to Colombia. Was working at the grocery store picked up a second job at a tanning salon. 'cause I thought that sounded like a fun job And while I was there I met a guy that completely was smitten with immediately and we ended up moving so we met moved in together. Then all of a sudden pray months later on pregnant alley end nineteen ago nineteen years old. This was in two thousand five Move to Charleston with him moved away from my hometown of Marysville about two hours away And I actually stayed in school because accurate. Member vary heavyweight on me of that. This was the right thing to do like I'm already pregnant out of wedlock. I'm the guy either. I'm not married to saw already. Felt like I was a disappointment in the family. You know I don't think it wasn't that my parents were that judgmental. I think it was more myself looking back that I felt like I was letting people down So I tried you know stayed in school but I really didn't have a clear. Hey Jer what I wanted to do. Sarcoma about bounced around with majors at. I did really miss being home but Try to get back to the story in the question. And but how I got out fast like this is like talked about culture shock. Go from being home schooled with pretty much just being around your family to being in college for just a minute. And now's said you've moved away your with in a serious Pregnant with a baby on the way I mean that is like a dramatic change for anyone to comprehend. Yeah and I was very much at the time. Felt like I was I guess when you're that age you feel mature you feel grown but looking back. It's like I've got sisters that are that age and you know you just you just. There's just so much can't no you know when you're that among but it back to your question at hand The Guy that I'm married in the glass business and from day one of meeting him. I was just intrigued by business and really had decided that. That's what I WANNA do like. I enjoyed everything about it. I liked you know negotiating. I liked Selling just the I think the the building of the business and the I don't know just an of accomplishment that that's yours and you know the work that you put into it you get to reward from it you know if you have a regular paying job for me. I don't think that you go into work for somebody else at a salary. Or whatever wouldn't wouldn't fulfil what I need because you know if I fail right now I'm definitely GonNa GonNa feel it in a house going. It sounds like there's been a lot of ups announced but anyway I enjoyed business Got into the business with him. We ended up getting married the following January And I really learned a lot because even though it was his business he didn't he had A bookkeeper accountant that was running the business. Which when when when I started asking questions and getting into trying to figure things out it became pretty apparent that he didn't know a lot about the business and the more we learn the more questions came up but it turned out that his opponent was actually stealing a lot of money from him and not only was he running the business but he was he was doing a lot of things that were not Not In line with how. We would've wanted things so anyway. We was twenty years old at the time when we took the business from this guy that was running it and I think that my background so I'm the oldest daughter of thirteen children have two older brothers. The rest of your younger than me. So I've always been very responsible of been motherly I was home schooled and we lived on a farm so two things two major things that I take away from this and how it helped me was being home schooled. I learned how to self teach because my mom Scott you know babies toddlers And all different grade levels and it was Kinda like. Here's your lesson for the day. Go do it and so I didn't have a teacher that would stand there and teach a class on the same thing. This really helped me because I really grasped that I can learn anything I can figure it out. You know right and then from being working on the farm and having that many siblings we had a lot of chores. I had to wake up early in the mornings at five. Am Milk House before school carrier in feed. We had Gardez There was a lot of work to be done. Always House chores kitchen chores cooking started cooking at a age. And it really taught me that you know if you want something you work for it and that was just how. I was raised and what I knew so when we took this business kind of jumping all over but I love how it's playing out in my head when we this business on this guy and I remember we brought it in our living room and I've got a young lane who's thirteen now almost fourteen and a few weeks. He was a couple months old guy. Newborn Baby I was in school. We took the business over and it was kind like here. It is now what you know and I just remember like not really even thinking about it other than it was almost like something. Click like. Okay this is you gotta do this like figure out or run a business and we turned our dining room at a time into an office and I can't remember sitting there all night just watching Tutorials and youtube videos and Harley. Remember if it was you I guess you to was out then I remember watching like all the quickbooks tutorials and then researching like. When do you pay sales tax? Windy all the different things and then I would ask a lot of questions. I joined a business leads group and it was a lot of business owners in there and to me. I just saw a wealth of knowledge and I'm never been afraid to ask questions if I don't know something or if I feel like even if I feel like I know something if I feel like someone knows it better you know I really really really Enjoy learning from from people that have the experience and that sort of thing so Took over his business. Learn how to do all kinds of things got in trouble because of not knowing things that I should have known or should have researched that I feel like if I had gone to business school and you know had the the schooling back around the that I would have been maybe more equipped to make better decisions. But you know that kind of was my cost of learning was my school you know hands on and make mistakes and figure it out and figure out how to get past it but so that was. Kinda how I got into the business now. Our marriage didn't last very long. We did have two sons semi I was born And then Ashton came sixteen months later and trying to even think back to all of that Also a tough time in my life because I think that I realized that I wasn't happy. Didn't want to be in the situation. That was part of me. Felt trapped a little bit. Like you know of already to make this right. I've already messed up. I've already know not done the Christian Way and you know it not became apparent and I'm not going to go into all the details but some things happened. That made it a lot. Easier for me to be okay with it and leaving with with leaving. Was that a hard. Was that how did you? How did you navigate those feelings of that because I know a lot of women get not position where they fell in love? Got Pregnant early. And then all of a sudden. It's just not what you thought in. You have all this moral dilemma. Going on like how like. I feel like you. You were able to move through that. I mean I didn't know you act in where you are able to move through that and you still have. You have figured out a way to have a good healthy boundary relationship with your acts in the in the boys do too and it's just like how did you come to peace with that. I guess when you felt like maybe it morally didn't align with what you wanted to do well. At the time I felt like I was kind of looking for an out not happy anyway and win. I felt like I had justification for that that you know people got. I look to for their approval. I felt like they would understand. You know took advantage of that moment and there was a lot of turmoil and and things you know when when you and I met things are a lot different with me and my ex. And then they were. When we separated you know people have amicable divorces but most the time emotions just run. I mean there's just a lot at stake looking back a lot of things that I wish hadn't done hash wish hadn't have said but you know it's such an emotional time and both of you are feeling and saying things out of out of being hurt and whether you whether you want it or not. It's still hard even didn't want to be in that relationship anymore. It was very difficult to to go through that and you know especially with having young children at the time of the boys were one and two in one and three And it was you know it was a lot of questions like what is it. GonNa do to them. How are they gonNA feel about me after all this but I think that the relationship that you see that you're talking about now? I wish it would have always been like that. But it wasn't and there was a lot of hard feelings and hard times but I think that you know time does heal a lot and I do feel like I'm quick to forgive if not for other people say but more for Mine. I don't like holding grudges because when when angry at somebody or you know when I have those feelings it does feel like it doesn't leave me and you know I've learned that I wanna be at peace so you know the sooner that I can forgive and move past and forget you know the quicker that you know. I can get rid of this feeling so you know I think with that. Do have any advice on on how how to go after all that I would probably say. Try really hard not to act out of emotions you know. Think about the things you're doing because I wish I would have done more of that but You know time does heal a lot and looking back. I'm very thankful for that relationship because you know where at in my life right now so much of it started from that you know I've got lane and Ashton my two sons that are Twelve and almost fourteen and you know wouldn't trade that for anything and you know the business that I'm in now I learned from being with him When we divorced so going back to all those raw emotions. At that time I had dropped out of school. I dropped out but I basically just Quit going to school because I was running a business and my thought was. Why am I going to school for business? When I'm already running a business and it just to me was not a good Use of my time or money when I could put that time and money into the business and plus I was in a class. I'll never forget this. That was not the deciding factor but I wanNA class and whatever they were teaching I had just went through that the previous week and what he was teaching a new wasn't correct and I went up to the professor after class. And I was like you know this. This is all right. I just wanted to court over this last week and he was like. Yeah these these textbooks are a couple of years back in You're you're right I do. This did change but you know your test is going to be based on the textbook and I'm thinking why am I paying money studying grim useful for information out of date like this doesn't make any sense and it wasn't that big of a deal for the thing that was it was over a non compete or something and It was just the thought that you know. I started thinking that college is a business just like what I'm doing. They are luring me. I started going through this whole process in my head of you know why am I paying another business to try and teach me things that are out of date and so anyway I had dropped out of school and you know when I was going through this when I decided to split up. There was a little bit of panic. Like you know what? Now what am I gonNA do? The business was clearly his. I mean he had the business before we got married. Even though I had basically ran at for I guess it would have been about two years. would have been less than that but in I wasn't have any stake in the company so that was his The month before we got married so that was his. You know pre marriage so he had the house he had the business in. What am I GONNA do? Now drop out of school and that time you know. I immediately went and got a job waiting tables because I had to have money coming in of some sort and I thought longer wait tables and figure something out you know what I WANNA do. WanNa go back to school. What what what is it that I wanna do and I started thinking that Are Really really really enjoy business and I enjoyed the the business that he was in was strictly auto glass so it was only windshields Car Glass and I had talked to him about branching out into other avenues. He also was strictly like direct marketing. Where we had salesmen that would Orca gas stations or Car Wash and sell like on the spot you know an. I had ideas of cultivating relationships and building up accounts. And all this other stuff and gotten thinking like I don't want to compete with him but you know I can do this industry that I've learned and I really loved and have a completely different spin on it. That doesn't compete with him at all so I started. I started My company which would have been July two thousand nine and it started out just with auto glass with intentions of building in growing. And that's one thing that I have always like. I never want to keep myself in a box. And even like my ex husband's glass company name was such and such autoglass and I thought will my company is not going to be glass because I wanna do all types of glass and at one point. It was thinking about like POW meadow glass and then I'm like why how is South Carolina's known as the POW medal state so it was kind of a good name but then I'm like I don't Wanna I trap myself into just here in South Carolina. I really WANNA think big so That the sterling glass came about because I can remember writing down a holistic names. And googling what is the best of the best you know better than top of the line all that sort of stuff so anyway Like I'm jumped in this first but I feel like I'm no all replace people that I interviewed. This is their first podcast. And they're always like. Oh my gosh I was so nervous did I ramble that I make any sense off. You're making so much sense in. It's awesome to hear your story. It's great deals like piece. It all together. Hey all caroline hobby here. I discovered my new favorite subscription. It's called 'cause box and I have to tell you about it. 'cause box is a quarterly subscription. Box curated by women for women that is filled with all sorts of amazing products and brands that are ethical sustainable and have a positive mission to give back and make the world better. Every 'cause box is limited edition and comes with six to eight full-sized products. 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'cause I always like to know how do you know and God is guiding? I like to know that to be nice if it was a little clearer and easier One of the things I was kind of fixing to say earlier is that sometimes. I think that I'm a little eager on thinking that. Oh this is this is my opportunity got sent this and Kinda jump in from path to path and I have tried to You know when things come up. I'm I'm not as I guess to make decisions real hastily like if if an idea presents itself left like is a good idea a really try to pray over it and you know just. Kinda feel in my heart if it continues to pull at me and I feel like you know. It's something that I need to do. I've really in the past done so many things that you know. Just maybe I should be doing that. I've had had an insurance agency. I had a Personal Training Company. I Bought several tanning salons while lane and was Outta town. One time you know got into the Dany Biz us so you know like jump you know really learned that just because something jumps in front of you in a shiny you know. It's not necessarily something that God put their Not that those were not put there by God but I will say that you know I've had a lot of struggles with things that I felt would be blessings and I think that you know. Maybe God put him there as lessons So you know. I don't think that I think that the closer you are with God and the more you communicate and open and almost like a daily conversation. I feel like things become a little clearer clearer. But it's not ever like you know. Follow the yellow brick road. And you know exactly where to go and I do think that you know you steer off of that path often but as long as you're in that communication I'd guide you back to where you need to be and I don't feel like if you know if your heart's right if you're in the place you know I guess being okay to to follow his plan whatever that might be no matter how far off you. He's always going to guide you back. So how does it guide you back? 'cause like for me. I know I've really kind of the same thing I've had a lot of different career paths Directions and like I now have identified for me personally. I also agree like being constant prayer is really important to me. Like always coming communicate with God talking with God but like I know now when I feel a ton of resistance and when I am like trying to walk through the door it feels like mixing Stomach or makes me feel like it's GonNa be very hard not like hard is GonNa take a lot of work because I also loved work instead. It's like not scared of working hard hard feeling where this is just like heavy like it's almost like you have a big boulder on your back. I just feels like Iggy am. That's to me like when I get that feeling. I sort of know okay. Maybe this is not the road I need to go down because when things fall into line for me an when everything sorta it's even if it's a ton of work to do but if it's like all filings line if it's work that. I loved to do if it makes me feel good then. I feel like that sort of how I know when I'm in line with God had how do you know like how does it play out for you I think that uses different things I feel like in at different points in my life that I you know. I think that God knows how to get our attention. If you're listening and the things that catch my attention now the things that you know would stop me in my tracks now are than they were you know. Years Ago I agree with you on the resistance saying I also feel like you know just as much as I believe. God's will do feel like the devils real and that you know sometimes things are thrown at you trying to get you off the right path you know and just like shiny objects are you know may not be for you know. Maybe it's a distraction or something that you're not supposed to go after. I think that the most important thing is really have in that relationship and knowing what you're feeling inside so like you said if you're just not feeling good about it it's probably not right and you know. Sometimes it's it gets point of just asking God you know. I'm I'm really not feeling good about this. Can you show me a sign can you? You know if if This wrong you know. Give me some light. Show me that you know. I shouldn't be having this feeling the opposite. You know really feels like this is right. You know I feel like this is where you're trying to lead me you know is this. Is this what I should be feeling if not you know help me. In you know seems like something happens that kind of ger up a little bit. And you're like you know I know that's this is telling me something and I think that just listening to your gut feeling you know that to me. It's my gut feeling but that's God tugging at me telling me you know which way to go and I got listened to that and I think saga had knows that I think the older I get the more in tune with that. I get because of the things that I went through in the past and the You know I've learned that I can't be as much as I want to be. Everything for everyone you. I can't you know have to have to pick and choose and try and stay on the path that I wanna stay on so that I can continue to progress instead of just jumping after everything that was perfectly into what ask you. How do you find balance with being businesswoman with being a mother since you've been in your early twenties with Just having a family your family the and a family of thirteen like you have so much in your life like demands in your life. How do you find the balance? I think that is something that I wish that I had the answer to. How do I get through everyday? I constantly think about the balancing. I'm very very much Success driven and I want to build in and continue to grow the company and the more time that I put into it. You know the better that I can make it but you know there's you and I've talked about this before or that You know when you Burma to me. That IS MY PARTY RIGHT ALEC. Yes I absolutely love my career. I love my business. Love what I do But I am a mother and I know having you know a fourteen year old. This time goes by so quickly and right now I have a one year old five year old and you know I don't want to spend all my time building this wonderful business and then you know. I'm at their college graduation. Y'All got a great business but what's important to me right now is being a mom so I do struggle with the balance because you know I&