2 Episode results for "Cain Oliver"
The Aha Moment" (An Email Episode)
"Hi i'm kate hudson. My name is oliver hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relations and what. It's like to be siblings. We are assembling rail though. Now don't do that with your mouth revelry. That's good emails. What you're gonna do those either. What's your inbox. yes shall we get straight into it. I mean yeah. This is our favorite people. Love them get all the small talk. Let's just get right. Let's do it wants to go first. Well you go. I don't look i'll go. She don't she. I'm gonna cheat. I was about to cheat. Because i know that thousand puts like a sad warning. I was trying not to get that one but maybe it will work out my favorite here. we go. Hi cain oliver. Amy here longtime listener. First-time emailer currently residing in a two bedroom estate in south philadelphia. Hashtag gobert i. Your podcast is thoroughly enjoyable. And i'm envious of the relationship that you have with each other. Having a close relationship with my brother is something that i've always wanted for as long as i can remember but if there's one thing i've learned in this life you can't force anyone to like you love you or want to be your friend. And that includes a sibling especially when one sibling is in therapy. I e me and the has chosen to stuff the issues way. Way down eew. I just finished listening to the episode. How to get over yourself with dr mark epstein and i have to say the analogy of driving with the windows down hair blowing in the wind singing along to a tune and being totally free really stuck. A court struck accord with me. I know those moments. I love those moments and it never really dawned on me. How really free. Those moments truly are clear head. Clear heart pure epic joy so true so true as my subject line states It was a mini aha moment of sorts. Something to store in the back of my brain and remember to try to live life. As if i'm riding down the highway scream singing to some ethically nostalgic tune and just let go of all the things i think are holding me back. Thank you for the podcast. And the gift of this aha moment cheers. Amy yes yes. The nostalgic portion of my pandemic is in full swing. I just finished watching season. Six of dawson's creek and eighty. Joey should've totally ended up together. Twenty-something self was all in on pace. I forty something self would choose eddie a heartbeat bad doling ami the best ali that bunny i love that email such a good email. It does feel good email. And how gray was dr epstein. I just loved him so much Found out after that. I got a phone call from a friend who will remain nameless. Who called me and said that's my therapist. What you're so lucky. So great and then he said is. Because i still have so many problems. Nobody was kidding. He was totally kidding. You said he's the most amazing therapist but yeah it was really really cool and i loved him. But you're right like it's so good to have those certified in in your brain rolodex of visuals things that feel role that that driving down the highway moment you know i feel like everybody can relate to that. I'm so glad that she wrote that. In oh i know i know it's true. She says you can feel that. I love these moments. It's like. I love those moments to so great. What song what song do you think you'd be playing well. It depends on the era of my life. Because i i've those momentary and they are to a certain song saw what about forget about. Forget about what you've done in the past. Let's just say you're on the east coast of lonely highway. The sun is amazing. Beautiful and you're on a beach strip of beach and there's like the dunes you know sort of the the grassy dunes and you're just flying down sort of two lane highway you know. What song are you blasting in your convertible like don henley these suburban That's good that's a good. It's got like this beat to it. That's like when you hear it when you hear beast of burden i'm just gonna play it real quick. I mean just. They're like my whole like yeah. Yeah great. driving grew the other one. The only good off that that would be my number one There's the the whole album of tattoo you for me. Was like that moment like that. Free freeing moment in my life right. I but the cranberries. When i sixteen sixteen got my car. It was all about the cranberries. Oh right right right right. You know very on the side drew. Barrymore movie put down. But you're just like okay and then here's my other vibe. Which would be another nineties moment which is just like always my go to. This is really loud great now. Oh now tribe. Just try in the car. Blast it right here. Yeah god god. I mean there's no better fucking Like it yeah. She'll do sing. That's an era. I mean it's just too good. Yeah well thank you. I just talk god. I wasn't even thinking. Do you know what i love. Which is traveling song married. Do love that you were married to this man. I love wiser time like there's something about that song. That is traveling on the road for me. I just i don't know yeah. Yeah really loud. Yeah so this was the part in the show every time about pros where we would. There is like a set of like three or four songs. That were always where you go out on your on the road for a long time. You skip a lotta great saw and then and then don henley for me like There's something about like boys of summer. Yeah that is nostalgic and that reminds me of driving down the beach. Oh this is yeah. This is like this reminds muskoka like in the boat. Yeah yeah like you know. Yeah this is. This is why this is becca. This was on your high school girlfriend. Put that on her. Mix tape to you. And i know that because i stole it. That's right that's right. And then. Of course bob marley legend the whole album. Just throw that on. Just just drive drive next to the ocean. Okay cool fun. Thanks for the memory lane. We should do a a spotify. Rebel riddling revelry playlist for driving for free anxiety-free moments. That's a great idea. I've been thinking a lot about the episode that we did with lisa memory. And i've been writing down a lot more since we've had since we had her on the podcasts Writing may day out. I not in a silly way. Not like i went drove to see like my doctor but i am writing out. I'm putting down in my phone things that happen in a day. That are either like funny or interesting things that being does or ronnie did or said and it's really fun and then i kind of translate them at night. I just write them in my daily diary and i was looking back. I've been like a week of them and it's funny. How quickly you forget. Oh yeah like like. Within like three days. I forgot you know what rider had said and then i looked at as like oh i would have never remember you know. That's a good idea. it's kind of fun. Yeah yeah kind of body found his for some reason. I've kept all my iphones. I don't know why there's a drawer of them but he found because you're paranoid. I like paranoid. He has an iphone. One okay and he found a charger for unplugged it in and it came to life. And there's all these fucking pictures from us so may was amazing videos. Instead it was it was unreal. Did you dump it out into the. Yeah yeah. I got to do the hard drives and stuff. But i gotta go through all that stuff. Oh well that's the thing too it's just about. It was almost easier back then when it was photos. And you went to the photo matt and now they're in books and it's tangible. I have so much digital memory everywhere around me would between digitally h. s. tapes between many tapes. Whatever i don't know what we're dealing with. S d cars and this and that and remember the flip camera or do i have that. Yeah sitting right here. By the way i had those when being was being born we had like flip cameras everywhere. Yeah but i like scary. I don't even know where they are. I don't even know on these in. It's overwhelming. I need to get everything in order. All of these memories and pictures and videos but it's so difficult in know every color a digital cleanse. This is one thing that i'm i'm like. It's the maria condo. You do the cleanser the house you do. The cleanser the clothes. And then you gotta do your digital cleanse and that's like if you spend an hour a day cleaning things out digitally. You'd be surprised how much you'd actually like even your emails. I have seventeen thousand on reading. This is a great topic of conversation because aaron has six hundred thousand emails money. I have in my thing right now. Zero it's the it's the virgo in me. No no no. No meaning. If the ones that i read are there but all the bullshit ones i actually race. I don't let them just sit there. You know what i mean. Oh oh no no no no when you look at my little blue email thing. There's no number on it. Yeah it feels amazing. Me and i'll ever get like i'll got all right to my phone. It's right there. Take you take some time and just a race and then it gets clean. And i'm like ri. We're back to zero at. When i finally have days that i don't have anything which is probably like not 'til i'm like about sixty but i'll get to it. Ben no but i wanna start doing like an hour of photo cleansing. Going through my thing deleting all photos. That are like shitty. That i'll never use. Yeah organizing where they go. You know idea. It's a good. That's a good stony project too. By the way yeah. It is a good stony. Yeah it is because rio takes my phone and she's just filming shit. I'm like what are you doing now. Moving the camera everywhere and filming everything is just a waste. A thousand videos that the video of her wanting to send to emma stone. Amazing she is. She's obsessed alex szeswith carrillo. She saw at one time. I watched it with her and now it's on. Tv all the time obsessed with amazon. She just got her wig came today and she put the thing on. She put a mole on an. I mean when kate. When i tell you that she embodies this character. It's crazy. i mean she into that she will not break character in any way shape with anne wright. She took my phone. I phone shirt. I went into do with wilder and she comes out. And it's a video of her wanting to to emma stone wanting somehow for me to get it to emma stone because i saying how much she loves her. She's gonna be your for halloween and love your acting and the whole thing. She's like you're just like she's like i just like love you and you're such a good actress. Hi i am at rio hudson. Hi emma stone. I am i just want to say that. I just think you're like oh good actress. And so of course i kate and i'm like do you know emma stone and you know and i sent her the video because i got. I've got to somehow get it to her. I get it. i'll get it here. i'm still in. i think. Religiously listened to sibling rivalry so she should after hearing evidence her favorite. Yeah cores lie. Baby coors light one of our longest running sponsors for good reason because we used the product and we have been using the product. Since i was twenty one years old. We all just need to chill and this beer is literally made to chill. We want to savor every second of summer summer always feels like the shortest season. But when you need to make the most of it he just needed chills when you need to slow down. Just open up a cores light. It's mountain cold. Refreshment made to chill understand what i'm saying. It's a cold logged cold filtered cold package. It's crisp and refreshing as the colorado rockies. Themselves and i can speak to that personally because i've lived in the colorado rockies. It's perfect for a moment to unwind this summer. Oliver coors light is the official beer of slowing down summer because as the beer that made to chill. We want you to save her every second of summer. Get coors light in the new look delivered straight to your door with drizzly or insta- cart by going to cores light dot com slash hudson celebrate responsibly. Course brewing company golden colorado boll and branch sheets that once you slip into them and roll around in them. You'll never want another sheet in your life. You must trust me on this. I create a burrito. I get in my boll and branch sheets. And i just roll absolutely loved them. They're hundred percent cotton their organic and actually got the blush shades. Which is a really beautiful sort of nude pink color of got them on. Not just one bed not just two three and four beds all in my house i love bollandbranch and for me beds are the most important thing how what you know what we're sleeping in and how it supports us when we're sleeping is so important so i get really excited about a good bed. She sleep is extremely important. I mean it is how we he'll sleep is how we start the day refreshed and bollandbranch sheets will allow you to get your best sleep because you were just laying in clouds baby. Their crafted to the highest standard attention to detail from sourcing to packaging. Bollandbranch manufacturing partners or family owned business that share the same values in standard to every part of this process of their manufacturing follows. Some of the most rigorous certifications audits in the world set by fair trade and geo tease which is so important. And we love that so You're gonna love these sheets to experience an entirely new standard of comfort. Visit boll and branch dot com. Get fifteen percent off your first set of sheets. With promo code sibling. that's b. o. l. l. andbranch dot com. Promo code sibley. Hey kate and oliver love the podcast subscribers since the first episode. Enjoying you too so much. I live in a small canadian town near victoria. British columbia on vancouver island victoria. I remember watching goldie. Hawn filming bird on a wire in victoria. Maybe thirty years ago we were there were there i was expecting. It was exciting to be watching a big hollywood movie filming in our little city. But what really stays with me about that. Day was witnessing a warm genuine family moment behind the business. The cameras equipment off in a quiet corner in over in his oversized sweater hat. Glasses and unmistakable dimples. Was kurt russell. A few children running around his knees as he quietly watched his wife at work. I was a teenager. Then but i remember thinking how wonderfully normal. The family seemed your family. Someone's working and the other ones are supporting her hanging out together. It was so cool. Well i mean there's a chance that could have been mel gibson. And she was just having a fair and we didn't know Mel doesn't have those dimples. The closest person in the world to muse my sister. I love that. And by the way i remember being in victoria vary. I remember that house. How house was means to get tutored in that window. That little nook. yup. I remember the smell of that house and then we had the outside area and it was always so like green and beautiful. The closest person in the world to me is my sister. We speak the same language in our lives are completely entwined. She's a year and a half younger than me. So i thought i was the oldest sibling but it turns out. I'm not we just found out we have a brother. We never knew about before the pandemic this guy reached out to us on facebook. He was almost fifty years old and looking for his father our father of course our dad's not on social media but he was able to find my sister nine. This guy really looked like young pictures are dad. He also looked a little like my son. Those familiar is in strangers. Profile pic real dust right in. We had to know more. We went down a rabbit hole on this guy's facebook page. He's a major over sharer and he had a blog. A lot of details were shared about his past and his current situation of looking for his father. My sister and i were up all night reading in texting each other. His mom and dad were together right out of high school. They were engaged. She got pregnant and didn't talent. She dumped him with no explanation. Broke our dads heart. We never knew any of this about our dad's life. Our brother was finally told the truth before his mother passed away. She lied to him his whole life but before she died. She told him what happened. And who his real father was. He grew up thinking his stepfather who never felt a connection to was his real father. We haven't had a chance to do a real family reunion yet with him. But through a pandemic a dna test was done by mail and it is confirmed a ninety nine point ninety six percent positive result that my dad has a son and we have a brother. Our father lives just over the border in washington state but the border remains closed. So we still haven't been able to be in the same physical space as a family. It we have had some very funny big families. Zoom calls and the three of us siblings have met in person. I also have another niece. And i am in love with her beautiful personality. It's a very interesting time for us. We always wanted a brother growing up specifically an older brother over the years. We talked about that very thing. It's bittersweet though on one hand it's happy and exciting to have this new family member On one hand is happy and exciting to have this new family member and on the other hand. It's hard to reconcile the fact that we missed so much time. Not knowing him until we were in our forties sibling. Relationships grow into their own entities over the decades. It's so much more than dna. I don't know how someone else fits in our thing just yet. I'm doing my best to just get to know my brother as he is now and not. Try to think about all the time lost. It's been a ride for sure. And there's so much more to learn and know going forward. We are just grateful for all of it. Thanks so much for doing what you do is so genuine and loving keep doing it. You are loved. Be well kristie. Pearly love that other. Somebody that yeah i mean how. Many of us find out that we will have a brother. That was our sister that was adopted. Probably a lot. yeah. I mean statistic. Oh god imagining amount of people who have siblings out there who they have no idea about and probably never will know. Yeah oh there's there's probably millions probably by the way you can get a knock on your door and some could be like. Hey sorry. I just felt like you won't wanna know that didn't want to bother you at this but like no i don't cook should say that. That's terrible oh god i can't even imagine what a lot of men feel. It's different obviously him. And because i don't want that well. That's why i'm good. Boys have to make wise decisions to be very very careful. We'll erin i mean. Remember that erin as my wife and this is part of the reason. I love her because of her will wicked assets the best. Oh my god i mean. I'll give the short brief version of it. But i always messed with her. Always fucking with her. And i always said to us that you'll never get me because i'm so aware of it. I'm because i'm always messing with people. And i come home and there's a manila envelope and i opened it up and it's a paternity suit and it's got this girl's name on it. A girl who. I was sleeping with in college. It's got the daughter. The timing everything works out. This is a real document. I am freaking the fuck out. I have to go right to the dentist. I'm calling mom on the way to the dentist like mom. I don't know what's going on. I think i might have a kid and like she's like what are you talking about. I'm like i got this paternity suit and she was strangely calm and we hung up. And i'm thinking maybe this has happened to pa before. I don't know why she's so calm. This is crazy life changing shit. That's going on. And i just started dawson's creek and it just come out so i'm thinking maybe someone's trying to extort money from me here. I don't know i'm trying to make an excuse. I get done with the dentist. I haven't called aaron yet. i'm driving down wilshire boulevard. I call aaron. I'm like okay. So i gotta talk to you. Something is happened here. And and what is it you know and i said well. Here's the thing. Like i think i might be. Father got this paternity suit and it all matches up. I know the girl the timing works. This is not a fake document you know. Did you just sitting there. were you know. that's no. I know. I know. I know it was nice. And and and then she finally she goes along cruel gnarly gnarly. Finally she goes. Do you remember when you said that. I would never get you and i was so in my wrapped up in this and i'm like yeah but what the fuck like i'm trying to tell you something serious right now. I didn't even think about to drop a bomb and by the way it is. I think it's april second at this time. Okay or no. No no no. It's march thirty first. Thirty one days in march. I dunno okay. So it's march thirty first and she goes remember when you said that i would never get you. I'm like yeah but this has nothing to do with that. And she goes. She's like april fools and like what the buck. It's not april fools and she goes. I know but your mother called in on it but your mom called was like honey. You cannot like he is in a fragile place. His dad wasn't there for him. Like this is not cool. So aaron had to cut it off by day finding on manga. Mom hates stuff like that She does not let moms and this is what. I'm gonna do miami dade competitive things just like family games. No i know i know. Aaron had to call mom because she air new. I would call my mother and i did and mom was so cavalier about it. Like something's up. She's like oh honey. I'm sure it's nothing. it's fine. don't worry about it. I don't live real. Oh god okay my my turn. Hi i just wanted to say. I love the podcast. I've admired you both for years. You seem straight up like the best friends. Everyone dreams of just finished. The jesse white sean white podcast and loved it. I love that. Even when it's not people unfamiliar with i can still relate to their stories and learn something in laugh myself and my two sisters lost the heart of our family three years ago. Our very own goldie. My momma calf the glue. The reason in the gift. We've always been the closest of families. A true coven of witches. Although our dad would replace that first letter. That's funny. I didn't even that. Didn't hit me Staying together as a family whilst navigating grief is a true test of sisterhood. We've discussed often. How grief tests family bonds. And we've watched others navigate the same losses some more successfully in some less. Keep up keep up amazing work. Most importantly i hope you stay this close forever if nothing else is siblings we you can always say no one else has ever been raised by our your my parents and have the same childhood memories and that is something to hold on to stay safe. Stay grateful stay loving Neom or neom i. I'm so mad. I'm not getting that right. But thank you. I love this. I'm so sorry you lost your momma. But it's so hard now. I can't even imagine what that feel. Feels like or will feel like it's a hard thing to even kind of contemplate for us but you know it sounds said that you've got this amazing group is interesting how she talks about how you know. Grief tests family bombs. I it's it's you'd think you just sort of come together. Which hopefully everybody does. I guess sometimes it can tell you park all my god. I was talking about this the other day. I mean just think about the will alone dealing with the whole life that you your parents have had or your parents had left behind the will. Sometimes those things can be so complicated. Who's gonna do this. Who's gonna go through this. We need to go through that. i don't want to. i'm not ready for it. I mean it's like there's just so much and people don't realize how much goes into it. And a lot of times. I think will should be discussed earlier in that while you're living you know you should. Everybody should be on the same page to just avoid that part so that you run actually really just just grieve but like think about the moment where someone says something in everybody's grieving one sibling says something in your like that ever happened was such a sensitive time. Stay never happened writing. Like oh now. You're going to be that person like you know. Mom and dad is gone. And you're just gonna make up stories about them. Whole narrative your. I don't even do that. This would be something that you could see happening. You know especially especially in a big family. Okay well thank you for the email. Now i get i get to sad warning. One extremely sensitive right. Now let me see if i can do this you ready. Oh hey guys. Maybe i'll just read it upbeat. Hey guys i was a huge fan of both of you before you started the podcast but the podcast is just elevated my love for you the way that you approach talking about. How important siblings. Family dynamics and relationships are is really unique. I think you've touched a lot of people and should be very proud. I was listening to your podcasts religiously. Because i've always had a complicated relationship with my siblings as in middle child. My older sister struggled with alcoholism and my younger brother struggled with epilepsy. Since he was two years old. I've had so many moments with both of them that have shaped who i am and how i deal with others. I like to think. I'm empathetic and can try to look through the eyes of others and these two perspectives have truly changed me forever. Here we go damn you alison four months ago. I lost my little brother to epilepsy. i guess s. Ud peace than setup. A sudden unexplained death from epilepsy in the middle of the night. He had a seizure so severe that he stopped breathing. It was always a possibility but the at the age of thirty we always hoped he was passed. The risk ears because if you look up saadat up communities and who has been lost to. It's very young group dealing with the pure loss of such a beautiful human being an damn at it. Only recently was eight. You won't be too. Yeah i guess so came. I've been dealing with the pure loss of such a beautiful human. Being an only recently was able to start listening to your podcast again before it was just too emotionally triggering. I wanted to say thank you and express that for some reason my ability to simply listen to you as a big tent pole. My recovering appreciate what you do. And i hope that people are getting as much out of it as me as a side note. I know you've been open to talking about drugs and it's ability to heal and treat. My brother never responded well. Typical pharmaceutical drugs. The only thing started to work in his later years. Cbd the pure cd that people with epilepsy require still very expensive and not very accessible through traditional channels. We are in canada so things might be different in the united states. We did a fundraiser. After his death raised twenty thousand dollars that will go towards the study of cbd for uncontrolled epilepsy with the aim of getting it fda approved and more accessible all love. You both and thank you. I hope you will continue this well into the new normal much love and respect ama- nice. Wow i'm so sorry you lost your brow tough seas. That's tough that's it gets me man. Yeah you can't. I can't there's just so sad and and and and your brother you know you just wonder like god. Why do people have to get these things you know. Why can't we figure out how to fix it. And science can do so much and then yet you know it's like i was just reading a story about a boy at twin who was super young Like like nine or something and he had the same thing had epilepsy passed away. It's just terrible and i saw. I'm digging for for reaching out amazon. Sharing the story with us and also i think it is important to talk about. Cbd and how. It's not something that is actually looked at as real treatment. It's looked at as alternative type treatments so you can't get them a lot of times. Those things aren't insured I don't know what that's like in the states. I i'm with you on that. Emma i don't i don't know and i don't know if it's fda approved or not. I haven't really looked into it. But i do know that it's. Cd is magical for many people in amazing that it helps your brother so much so That's that's a great. As far as i'm concerned a great thing to sort of be pushing for a approved. Fda approval in. Thank you so couldn't get through that. Hi my name. Is nicky from ontario. Canada just started listening to your podcast. Love it. i actually stumbled across oliver's instagram singing saturday song and it took me out of my bad mood. I'm a mom to nine. Kids ages two to eighteen five girls and four boys. And we've been really getting to know each other during this lockdown and i'm excited to get back to normal and school l. o. l. I love my kids and they get along for the most part. It's nice to see my older kids really helping out with the little ones. I've been waiting eighteen years for that so glad it's finally here. I'm forever listener now. And i love the chemistry you to have makes me hopeful yay. This is so funny nine kiddie. Oh my god at the. Wow that's just in to eighteen like you're never out of the wood in lockdown to well. That's me i'm to eighteen better. I almost. I'm two to seventeen right but she's got she's got she's got six or i love it. I'd love to know more about that. They all like same dad. Same thing how old shine helds nikki feels like i feel like it's all the same feels the same so happy that we've been able to impart is keep locked experience with you keep listening. I do more singing on my instagram. It's smith my outlet. Just trying to show people the real talents so funny. Hi there kate. Oliver allison allison gets a shower. I decided to write in because they started listening to your podcast. Last july coincidentally right around the same time that my sister and i became estranged from each other. I'm the youngest of three kids. I have a brother who is nine years older than me and a sister who is six years older than me being the little sister by decent sized age gap. I was not incredibly close with either one. Because i was viewed the annoying baby sister when i was twelve or dad passed away from cancer. One good thing that came out of this loss grief was that it pushed all three of us closer together than ever before however as years pass my sister and i had a hard time remaining close as adults because she stepped into the other parent role until i went to college. I struggled to share and let her in and she struggled to listen without judgment. I am lucky that my older brother and i are closed and see each other often but my sister lives in hawaii and we haven't seen each other much since i was in middle school. Wow she is now married with fifteen month old baby girl who i've yet to meet. Because of covert and the long distance between us twenty hours of travel time. My sister and i had a fight on the phone in august on the ten year anniversary of death death and haven't spoken since despite my attempts to reach out and repair relationship your recent podcast featuring dr karl pillar mer made me feel less anxious unless alone about struggling with a form of estrangement. I even bought his book and read it cover to cover try and learn something from the other people who deal with this type of emotional weight. I discovered that this affects millions of people. And i should be grateful for my closeness with my brother and my mom. It makes me happy and sad at the same time to listen to how close and cute your sibling. Relationship is each episode. I am encouraged by your closeness to one another to work on myself and to strive to get the band back together again. I miss my sister and hope she knows how much i love her and think about her. Please don't stop doing what you're both doing with this podcast. Because i think you are helping more people than you even know by sharing your family with your listeners with lots of love and thankfulness and and i love that so much. Thank you for sharing that with me. I just wanna say like when when thinking what the best thing about that e mail is you talking about how you can work on yourself to make those things happen. Because i think that a lot of times we feel like it's like everybody else's issue in you know my therapist said to me one time he's like you know you you change the more you change the more you can see how other people respond and the more we work on ourselves more we can see differently kind of the the the dynamic in the experiences that were either apart of or creating an an and at some point you know maybe it's just time maybe it's just the right kind of conversation at the right time but my hope is that the more that you work on your self that your sister will want to continue to to to hopefully you know reconnect M i'm glad that podcast dr. Carl gave you some perspective to its grateful for the relationships that you have to you know. I think that's the hard thing is we can't control other people. We wish we could control arm and tell them like the see. I want you to know. I love you. Can't you see this this way. And can't you. What the fact like and we wish we could actually make it different but but at some point you know you realize you just have to let go and the whole let go and let god and and hope it actually comes back in you can reconnect at some point but it sounds like your mom your brother and hopefully that will help you know that you have that connection. There's still a lot of things can happen. Squarespace is basically a one stop shop to success. Squarespace empowers millions of dreamers and makers and doers and they give them the tools they need to bring their ideas to life. So we've actually been using squarespace for awhile now Allison allison actually. Designed the sibling revelry website through them and it super easy. I've actually went on them. One time i remember. I had this idea is years ago for a company and i was like i need to see how you build a website and i found squarespace. I went on. I actually did the trial. And i built this sort of fake website. And if i can do it anybody can do it on scores veith if this one stop shop to creating a brand for your business and not just their world class which by the way their their designs are incredible there. They're beautiful but it's an all in one so it's domains right. It's websites online stores. Marketing tools analytics. You sign onto squarespace use squarespace and it's all right there for you to navigate. Love that you have the ability to customize the look customize your feel your settings products and more and it just takes a few clicks. it's pretty. It's it's very simple super straightforward. When you create a website with squarespace you get free unlimited hosting top of the line security and dependable resources to help you succeed. it's awesome. We love squarespace. So go to squarespace dot com slash sibling for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch us. The offer code sibling to save ten. Percents off your first purchase of a website or domain olive in june. So excited to tell you about all of june. This is the manny system. Is the answer to salon. Perfect nails at home. Yeah i mean. I can imagine doing a manicure on your own is. You're never gonna get it the way that you want. And you're never gonna get it the way. It looks like an salon. But that's gonna change. That's gonna change with olive in june it is salon worthy so it may seem odd for me to be talking about a manny system but i do have a beautiful wife and i have a beautiful eight year old daughter who have used the manny system specifically my daughter because she loves doing her nails as my wife does as well but the polish looks incredible. I mean at least from me. I mean from my. I created a system with all the tools you need in one box. The polish lasts up to seven plus days. It does not chip. It's five steps and it comes with poppy. This is a patented brush handle. That makes it easy to paint with both of your hands so this is like a one. Stop shop manny situation. We love it. I was looking at. Somebody's instagram the other day. And they had all these like decals to so oliver june check them out at home manny system. That comes out to just two dollars. Your new nail life is here so get twenty percents off your first manny system when you use promo code sibling at olive in june dot com. We're done with expensive bad. Manny's this is the new okay. Second email high. They're obsessed with both keeton oliver and your series. I'm thirty five year old twin fraternal twin. We have a thirty three year old brother. Who was born blind brian. Our story isn't complicated but perhaps inspiring short version. Both of our parents struggled with addiction and alcoholism depression as well. Mom raised us into the phenomenal job. Always felt on who called on. They started who. I don't know what their name is yet. But they said our story isn't complicated but perhaps inspiring short version. Our parents struggle with addiction and alcoholism depression. I mean. isn't that complicated. Maybe there's a. I mean that's sounds complicated Yeah i mean wow right. It's interesting that you can think that that's not conflict. I can't wait to see where the rest of i wish. Jesus i know of i. Oh god i know i know. I wish i wouldn't this. This is i'm i'm in. I'm hooked god. I wonder i wonder what complicated means anyway. I know jeez. Okay so my mom raised us and did a phenomenal job. We always felt and knew we were loved when my sister and i hit our mid teens are mom went downhill with drug and alcohol. A drug and alcohol. Use and parenting wasn't wasn't that great anymore but structure and bones had been instilled in us and we had amazing grandparents. I moved out right before. I graduated high school and my sister moved out at nineteen to north carolina. To live with my dad. My brother stayed because he was in his late teens. In our home it was all he knew. My mom's spiraled and my brother moved his room to the basement to get away from her. She could be nasty and it was a very unhealthy environment. Brian got a job after high school and survived. We have a stepdad. We are all thankful for but he didn't play much of a role in all that in all that happened. My dad committed suicide in february. Two thousand nine and my mom died february. Two thousand ten. I moved to north carolina to be with my sister in two thousand nine after my dad died and that was one of the best decisions i've ever made. We have a closeness in bond. I could never explain in words probably unhealthy. How much. I depend on her. Ll we have finally got our brother to move here to north carolina. After twelve years of trying he belongs with us. He will be here next week actually. He's terrified as she is leaving all he has ever known. And that's a little more intense when you don't have one of your senses. He's strong and we'll be fine. And my sister and i are ecstatic. We are all successful. Happy adults are sense of. Humor is great if i do so myself. I think it's a great testament to having a shitty hand dealt you and that it shouldn't define you in your choices. And it hasn't for the three of us best. Carla that is inspiring is sell. inspiring. I'm not sure it's complicated. Put it is extremely inspiring. I think was so interesting is that she is saying that the foundation was there. But what a sad thing to see it kind of fall apart. You know god addiction. It's just so norling just breaks. My heart breaks my heart. 'cause it just takes a whole Psych at now. I've seen. I've just. I guess i guess because i mean i'm really grateful. Knock on wood. Nobody in our family has really struggled with addiction But i'm very close to many who have and continue to live but they just fight man. Is that fucking fight that human instinct to survive and to be the best of you to be the best you can be and and you need each other. And that's what's great to you know. They brought their brother over after that much time. And now they're a trio living north carolina and living the best that they can after having been through all of that. I mean shit. It's so great. that's inspiring. it's really amazing. And i'm worried that i you know can't get a job. Jesus i really. I mean it does put things into perspective these emails. It really. does you know. I'm a very lucky person. Very grateful you know you got to be reminded of it though. Sometimes i feel like i feel like the brother i mean. That's that's also a really interesting thing you know because when you're born blind in just in your familiar settings that kind of transitioned than move someplace. It's completely new and foreign is must be really really challenging and nerve racking you know it probably becomes by wrote you know you actually have. You've you've physically experience your surroundings so it's easier to be mobile but imagine moving to a whole 'nother fucking place. I mean that's got to be gnarly in a real decision. You know but good for them. I really love when people who have really been dealt that kind of really shitty hand define who. They are for themselves not by the hand that they were. You know i. I sometimes wonder i'd be intrigued to kind of look into this further. I have in my own way of read a lot of books about these things especially addiction. I wonder where that comes from. If that's nature or nurture you know. I wonder if your ability to sort of see past like what like what is it that i mean i guess. There's there's the survival mechanism. But what is it that allows a person to actually be able to see redefined their life not carry the burden. Yeah i mean it is love email. Thank you carl for writing in high all eum longtime listener of your podcast love. Love love love. love you and kate. I've heard you mention about withdrawing from lex appro recently and couldn't help but reach out. I never do this. But i can't not. I'm sure you've done your research but in case you haven't. Sri withdrawal is a very real thing attempted to come off my alexa pro four times now. Having to always reinstate. I am currently one year to my current weaning. One year into weaning to not take me that Maybe that's my problem. I started at ten milligrams. And i'm now at two point six so i was at twenty milligrams and got to two point five and then went and then went off of it. I didn't mean past two point five and it took me. I don't know two months. She's the sheree. But i it's already been a year in anyway I've learned everything i'm doing. At the moment from surviving antidepressants dot. Org and laura delano from her inner compass initiative it can be a bit of rabbit hole. Once you look into this stuff. I take it all with a grain of salt. Take what i need and leave the rest. When i hear you talk about your current anxiety. I can't help but relate during one of my withdrawal attempts. I was at every doctor known to man convinced. Something was wrong with just about every organ in my gosh the second i went back on my medication. It all went away anyways to keep this short. I hear you relate so so so much and there are so many other others who do as well medication has its place but many people have also been damaged by its use. We need more focus and support now more than ever on how to safely get people who wanna come off their medications off a researcher. Psychiatrist mark horowitz issued a research paper on safe prescribing. So we are getting there anyways. I don't expect to hear back. You did all. I hope is that this message reaches you. It did all my love and sincerest healing energy your way ali. I love yeah. I mean it's really true. Isn't it because you know we we have the it's like you know it's it's easy to medicate but you know you don't want to stay on this medicare depending on obviously what your situation is For a lot of people go on anxiety medication but you know wanna wean themselves off of it or go on it to do some work and then the the idea is to get weaned off of it. You know yes yes agree. I personally which is on too long. It's like five years and just popping the pill pop and the pill every night when you know i personally. This is only my personal. It's dealing with my personal issues and mike chemistry. I didn't need this to be. Or i don't think i need it to be sort of a lifelong drug. Some people do. There's no doubt about that but for me it was sort of. Get right to get therapy. Really get into sort of myself. It allowed me to sort of open up a little bit more without having the anxiety of dislike and then in time to enough. But i just sort of i don't know just kept pop in the twenty king king king. You know it's like j cole says you don't wanna medicate you got to meditate. I'm down with that. But i also i also do. I'm grateful for the medication that oh gosh without a doubt i would never rail against that you know. I like science. I think these drugs are amazing. They do amazing things for people no doubt about it not at all. Shall we answer one last question. Yes so the question is from a listener. Who said i love the relationship you to have a siblings two. Here's my question for you to if you had to give advice to yourselves looking back. That could help grow your sibling relationship for the future. What would it be. Ooh cigarette question. I mean i guess it depends how far back we're going mine would probably be more communicative expressing how i feel talking to you more including you more in my life and my ups and downs of things. Yeah yeah communication is good. I mean i like that. I think it would be. It's a hard thing. Because i again dislike leans towards something that something that i have to. I had to work on or would have had to work on. Which is that instead of feeling rejected by you all the time that i didn't personalize the rejection even though you made it very hard not to personalized but but i think that i think that trying to find a way or honestly working with our family differently so then that sense of i would say specific to you and i to that. There was a gap you know when you were working and married and there was a separation of sorts. I guess you know. If i was to give myself advice back then it would be like whoa st. You know i keep in touch stay connected but i guess that's that's just part of life. I guess you know. I mean i don't know yeah i mean i think yeah but i think that part of the issue for us was the fact that we didn't have a tight bond. When we were young we had we were together. We i mean we were like like it wasn't it wasn't you didn't ever want me around then you into college. And then we like hung out partying and had fun. We were together and we we got closer. And then i got married and i was working. We were it was whatever for a net net time for me would just sort of starting my own thing but it wasn't even that long we think about it like i was back in la. By the time. I was twenty four had writer so i was like you know a and i mean what traveled a lot. But i was home. But i think you're right. I think keeping question. Yeah i think. I think honestly what would have shifted and made our relationship different advice that we would give ourselves would be would be probably. I mean i hate i hate to put it like on you like this but for all of our be more accepting of me you know when i was younger like brought me in would bring me in more and And nicer i mean i know. We'll we've talked about this like i. How could i have been i. I was almost weird myself. But but it's not like we didn't have like a hugh a crazy bond. You know like when you think about it. It's like we did so much together but then us when we were sort of home in her. There's always like a push poll. There's a lot of rejection from you will. I was a great. That's a very good question. I liked that question. I could have probably for my salvator thinking about it i could have. I can't wait for this long pregnant. Pause no i think. I'm just thinking about my reactions to those things in like not having not having the reaction but i could have had more in i was. I was a a fighter by nature like my nature was to like bust my way through versus just being like. Oh you're mean. I'm just gonna go sit in my room by myself like a bit like iowa thing i know but but but but i probably could have learned to just not be so It's hard to reflect on these things. Were so young and it honestly e everything led us to. We are now. So there's not much i would change necessarily. It's an interesting reflection. But i don't have any regrets. I wouldn't have done it any differently. I didn't know i wouldn't know how to do it any differently at the time you know. We're evolving constantly shifting saying about communication as we got older i think maybe in the twenty s and our twenty yes. Yes stronger communities. We didn't have like fucking face time. When phones and shit we had like flip phones. Two thousand to two thousand five. We had like our little nokias blackberry. Blackberry was like two thousand and five right or something for that era was kind of old school we would have had like facts each other or call each other on our football. Do that from now on just faxed. I'll like actually little drawing. Okay oh this was so fun Zone emails. I love these episodes to even though i always crying and like cannot control myself i still love. I love him. It makes me happy. Honestly it gives it brings me pride in a way that people are listening and good perfect and anyway love. You guys remember sibling. Submissions at gmail.com. We love hearing from you. Sibling revelry is executive produced. By kate hudson and oliver producers alison president editor. Is josh windisch music by mark. Hudson uncle mike. Do you want to show us some love rate to show and leave us a review. The show is powered by simple cast.
I Don't Even Know Why I'm Crying (An Email Episode)
"Hi i'm kate hudson. My name is oliver hudson. We wanted to do something that highlighted our relations and what. It's like to be siblings. We are assembling rail though. No now don't do that with your mouth revelry. That's good are you okay all. I hate my dogs okay. 'cause i just want to tell everybody that's listening that all of our just looked so like you're annoyed you're frustrated e feel like like it's like it's like there's like a look on your face that's like something's wrong my i just. I'm tired of my dogs. I almost want to take a picture of what donut did to my back house. 'cause it's like such a great example of like the dog you'd never want except these moments. Where he chris cute he's great he's a bulldog and he's so funny he's hysterical and but no but but yeah back to what you're saying talking about how there's a sense of sometimes of entitlement when people are looking to get a job and like i don't know what i don't know what that feels like because even now in my career i'm still like all still work for a job you know i'll still audition all still show up and he whatever i need to do if i want to do something i put everything into it i have no ego about it you know what i mean like if you want anything you have to go for it which means you need to follow up the importance of following up like if you're going to interview with someone if you're going to audition with someone there's there's something that is a wonderful thing when you call someone and say hey what a blast thank you for taking the time to see me audition thank you for taking the time for this interview and i really hope that it works out if not i hope something down the line can and i mean it goes such a long way oh for sure i mean even just from a strategic standpoint forget about whether you are believing it or not just strategically. It's a good thing to do. You know it's like hey. This was great. You stay in their minds and relating it back to alison and her trying to find an intern. Yeah i mean it's these kids. These college kids against they. Just don't really give much of shit i guess. That's maybe it's a generational thing. I mean but nobody does. It's interesting that you just said that. Ali because you're like it's a good strategy and i think when when it comes to manifestation it's not about strategy it's about life it's about what you're putting in to practice as a as a life practice without expecting outcome Like manifestation only occurs when the outcome is about what you're putting out not what you're getting back. Does that make sense. Like i believe that. I manifested not because i expected an an outcome. I'm manifested because i literally just put it out and in my mind if it's not that it's this if it's not going to be this it's going to be something over here like manifestation doesn't necessarily happen the way you have an expectation for it to happen or how you can strategize or calculated. It's more like how you it. It's honestly it's. It's the foundation of the nisha buddhism. Right neutral die shown nominee holding the honing angle that. I've been doing that your ex girlfriend member. She was the first one that i knew did it. And then my my one of my trainers nicole did it. And then i started doing it and i've always been doing in and out of doing that. Most of my. Do you just do the chance or do you do the actual book. I do the whole thing i do. The i do prayer. I do the chan. I chant and then i meditate but i always go back to it because it. There's something about that that energy of manifestation that i appreciate an it's an and sometimes it becomes really materialistic for people in knots where i think it doesn't work. That's it's funny. You say that because that's one of the reasons why stop. Because i would go to these meetings. I was kind of deep into it and these people be like if you want a new car. Just say ring gay kill. This seems weird. I know but that's not the essence of if you if you read if you read a lot of the quotes of the of what's his name i used to. I had the whole thing memorized back in the day. I knew i knew the whole book by heart. That's so great. Okay so suckle guy. Yeah so coca aci international. I'm man such a big part of my life for a while. so we're no. I watched the documentary. Tina which by the way out good. If anyone has seen that please watch it. She's like my hero. All let you so bad at. She's shears so so bad ass such a rockstar. and you don't realize thing. I love about tina turner. So much is her struggle was so real an it at forever. How about being tina turner. I can tina everything that she went through. And then going fifteen years and she couldn't get she could get a how about the recognition. Hold on a second. I hope nobody takes us personally. But i mean what i'm about to say okay. Don't take it personally. You should just be accountable to this. The fact that a record label or any record label executive was like. I don't believe in tina turner as an artist is everything that's wrong with with any industry. That doesn't understand like when you're when you're when you're too like caught up in your algorithm or your slate so you're thing you lose sight of the artist and it took it took these. It took these two amazing cheerleaders for her one inside of the of the record company who literally like begged and her manager to say she's a she's a star. She's a light she's a like how. How can we not bring tina turner back into the like into front of like you know. She needs to be playing stadiums. The story just kills me. But i loved about tina is that she was a rockstar. She knew it. she's like i'm not. I'm not everything that anybody wanna be a popstar this she was a rockstar and when you saw her perform you there's nobody better. There's no better female rockstars. She's just fucking all fire. she's fire is crazy. That was a really great documentary. I'm glad i'm glad you saw. Because i watched it a while ago and i was thinking about you. How much would love that duct. But the thing is. There's this misconception that with fame that it wasn't i mean as for anybody that it's not worked for like them with the success of like you know anybody that for some reason it all just comes easily because money buys you. Success is like no no. That's not how any of this any of that works. And that's a great story. That i really never really understood about tina. Turner that that part of her life her her thirties and forties. I mean hit record. Happened like wasn't it in her late forties. She was like she was stadiums. I mean now is just unin seeing her like in her home now with her husband through with i just that whole thing. I don't even know why we got onto this. But because of because of her buddhism like that's how she came out of ike basically that's how she found her strength to sort of rate separate and say i'm my own woman like fuck off right. I'm me yeah. And that was because of neutral die. Shown in buddhism ranko basically so when i watched that that's where that's that was When i watched that i then it was like a reminder to me oh i should. I should start chanting again. Yeah and i did. I still do on airplanes. Like when i take off. Like i di- go through my beads and go out and get killed. But i don't do the actual practice anymore. I remember when i was going through a really hard time in love and it sort of felt like that thing of you know. I guess a lot of women might relate to this but sort of you come out of something that doesn't feel good then you try to reevaluate and sometimes you go and you look around and you try to find a source of validation through any kind of male adoration or flirtation and then you like kind of start dating and you're always disappointed. There's always somebody like rejecting you or kind of feeling like it should be something out and you're going through the sort of trying to figure out like how to get your feet back on the ground after having a heart relationship and not the first time i started with the nisha in buddhism and i have to say it calmed all of that down for me because it was sort of like being able to know that i was what i was putting out as. I was meditating. Chanting about love was about the best love. Not necessarily what was like there at the time. Or what was sort of percolating but like trusting that it would find. Its way you know. It didn't work for a couple of for many. Nobody but the point of it is that in in as you're doing that is sort of like the love that you find that you're really manifesting is in yourself and for your cells feeling good in yourself and realizing that what you were actually asking. I had nothing to do with that. It had to do with feeling love for your free yourself. Things like that. That i love about. I liked it. It was active. You know i mean. I'm meditating more than i have in a minute now and it's not easy. You have good days bad days. Good meditations but. You're quiet yes you can listen to something. But what's nice about. Chanting is the act of nature of the droning. The trance-like state that you can almost put yourself in after a few minutes. And i i liked that you know. It's it's. it's a proactive meditation. In a sense. I haven't picture of my alter because i also have like. That's exactly that's exactly how i feel about. It's like i chant. And then i sit and then i actually pull cards. I have like all these different cards. And i'll like feel like i've got us cards. I have a spirit animal cards. I have my tarot cards. And i start pulling from things to kind of an icon of sort of ask to receive. What the messages for the day or particular situation. It's fun you can make it fun. Yeah i know yeah well. That's you know you're letting your intuition takeover to We're in a saturn mercury. Told you till october. How has that been for you. So far it's been amazed good great. I feel great. Great thanks for asking. Yeah i'm on top of the world. Yeah have you lived. We're firing on all properly reflections. Yeah no i've been reflecting on this too negative. I don't wanna get into negative space. I just in the quest to figure out what is wrong you realize and it's no fault of the doctors because they have a thousand patients but no one really gives a shit. You know what i mean. And i understand it because how can they be so attentive to each patient. Right take my sweating and whatever the fuck it is that i'm going through. No one really gives us shit. They're going to give you a little up up up up up and but you have to care for yourself. You have to be proactive in pushing them to say no. No no no. I want this i want this. I want this gotta go. You say no. We're going to. He's like dr house. Hugh laurie yeah. I've been trying to. Dm hugh laurie on instagram. I'm gonna do it. I gotta do it. I gotta do it. I texted you this morning. Like a sort of a half techs. I said doctor. And i literally like sent it by accident. What does it say doctor. I might yeah and then i. I can't finish the sentence really excited to tell you about all of in june. They are manny system and this manny system. Is the answer salon. Perfect nails at home. Who doesn't love a man. He oliver i know. He loves a manny. These days i have a daughter. She's seven years old. I do her nails. I go to the market. And i buy her these glue on that. I cannot stand. This is a game changer. Okay for me even as a dad. So the polish last seven plus days does not chip and it comes with all the tools you need in one box. So it's only five steps and it comes with poppy. A patented brush handle making it so easy to paint with both of your hands. I don't know about you. But that's always been my. I mean i'm getting a little better at it but actually painting. I'm left handed to painting my left hand at hand as always the worst part but they made this amazing brush. That really helps us to the paint goes on really easy. Its cruelty free and vegan. It's affordable It's you know. A manny system was six polishes breaks down to two dollars per manny. And now you get twenty percents off your first manny system with our code sibling. Your new nail life is here so get twenty percents off your first manny system when you use promo code sibling at all of in june dot com. Were done with expensive bad man. He's this is the new us okay. Policy genius life insurance oliver policy gene has policy. Genius makes it easy to compare quotes over a dozen top insurers all in one place. Let's think about this for a second. Okay summer begins. You know what that means. It's time to save on life insurance. If you're thinking about summer you're thinking about saving on life insurance. That's just a natural progression. That will have a bigger budget for summer. Things like pool floats shelters. You could save up to thirteen hundred dollars or more per year on life insurance by using them. So i think it's important to make sure that you're getting the right policy at the right price. So here's how it works. You go to policy genius dot com right in minutes you can work at how much life insurance coverage you want or that you need you compare personalized close to find your best price and when you're ready to apply the policy genius team will handle the paperwork and scheduling for free policy. Genius never sells your information to other companies. Don't worry about that privacy matters. They understand that policy. Genius doesn't add on extra fees. it's really a no brainer. Okay so head to policy genius dot com to get started right now policy genius when it comes to insurance. It's nice to get it right. Got some long ones today. All you wanna go first. I can do the long one. Yeah so i to pre read some of these just so i could get the emotion out. Let's see if it worked high k. Nala i don't usually reach out like this but i just had to tell you how much i love lisa genova and how great it was to listen to her. On your podcast. My sweet mother had alzheimer's and there were days. When i felt like i was the one losing my mind. There was so much. I wasn't prepared for and do not understand after a few years in i came across her amazing book still alice. It completely changed the way. I interacted with my mom because the story was told from the person with the disease perspective it gave me insight to what my mother had been going through. That in turn helped me help her. It was a nine year journey with my mom. But through it all. I relied on what. I learned from that book a few years ago. I started an alzheimer's caregiver support group on facebook and when a new member joins the first thing i'd do is recommend. They read still alice. Because i learned that the disease will test the patience of even the best of us so learning to understand and being able to empathize with your loved. One is crucial. So you for having such an important conversation on your podcast. Peace and love georgia. Oh georgia i know. I got it. Alzheimer's is such a terrible disease and You know it's like what do you think about And yeah lisa was awesome. I mean she. And i love it. She does fiction Those are still. Alice is a fictional book but then she just wrote her nonfiction which is what we had her on. Sort of right talk about that. But yeah i mean i have. You know friends who've gone through it with their parents who have either had early set alzheimer's or even later in their life and it's just so hard it's so hard to to to for everyone i think to experience. Yeah no that was i. Love that podcast. And it's funny because she talks about hydration and water. Yeah you know for your brain and it's funny because it's just weirdly popping up in my news feeds and whatever i don't know why but this sort of hydration for your brain is crucial for so many things You know And i need more of it honestly. I gotta drink knows breeze too okay. Thank you georgia. Writing were sorry about your mama and By amazing things do and we'll starting support. Group is so nice to his exactly. Yeah i mean at the end of all of this. I was watching We're here on netflix. do you know what that is. It's the it's the drag Show that they bring in town. I was watching it and there was this moment where i'm like. All anybody is looking for literally in life is to be loved and supported like it's like it's like the basic need an all conflict and all pain and suffering all comes from not feeling loved or support it. It's just crazy. It's just like an an an something becomes you e- you see it. It's such an easy thing to see a hard thing for people to do but in a situation like this to have like for people who are going through it through alzheimer's with a parent or starting the process of knowing that you know they are kind of infected in inflicted such a not a nice thing to do georgia to start that group Okay hi kate and oliver. My name is wendy. I have been listening to your podcast since the very beginning ever since finding almost famous in my teens i've been inspired by the character penny lane which led me to the real loving person. You are kate. I have a vision board with inspiration from you. Because i want that energy you give off and love for life and family in my own life. All of you remind me so much of my brother who i'm constantly chasing year. Laugh and natural humor bonds. Everyone together in the room and is exactly what i love about my brother brad and wish i had also. We can't talk about our love for our family without choking up and our voice cracking no one in our family. It's so funny. It's a funny sketch. Sketch sometimes have a family. Whose highly emotional hyper emotional. Van can barely get through a family dinner without crying. All of them are family. I mean have we ever gone through thanksgiving without like everyone crying. No and then the best is when new people come to our thanksgiving and like they see it and they're like the war there like all my right and years they just feel obligated there like oh shit. It's coming around to me. i have to do it. I'm thankful for crying out so no one in our family. Can we say i love you. Every time we hang up the phone or leave each other when we leave each other. It's comical how many times we hug and say. I love you on the way to the car. I just turned thirty nine this week and my brother will be fifty on june second. That sounds crazy to say. Because i still feel twenty ish so do i. And he has an aged since he was thirty. My brother and i are eleven years apart and our family is super close. Our parents have been married for fifty two going on fifth. I'm the baby. And for as long as i can remember. I've been chasing my brother or waiting on him to come home. I was seven when he went to college in atlanta two hours away from my hometown in columbus georgia. I thought he would move back home when he graduated but he didn't. I remember him coming home and coming up to my room after graduation. Oh you're going to cry now. Oh wow finally it's you not me. I don't even know i'm crying. Just there's so much love here. Yeah this is totally v by like. It's nothing not even crying over anybody. I remember him coming home and coming up to my room. After graduation and telling me he was moving to greenville's greenville south carolina. We both cried. And when i was an adult when i was an adult on a family vacation at the beach he told my mom and dad and i he was moving to thailand for three years and me and mom cried in the hotel. He was supposed to save three years in st seven. I love his love for adventure and crazy ideas. But i also only remember the feeling of missing him all the time like i've gotten the short end of the stick with a sibling. I feel like an only child when he is away and when he is home for the holidays or visits that is when i feel everything is as it should be. We all laugh and are happy. I've followed his love of music and concerts and bands. He has exposed me to because they make me feel like. I have a connection when he isn't there. My brother lives in bangkok thailand thailand. Now with my sister in law and niece. They moved three years ago. Back to thailand from greenville south carolina. And we talked about how nice it would be when he moves back if we all lived in the same city. Well two thousand nineteen. I was listening to your thanksgiving episode in my kitchen on the counter and i was laughing kept thinking how funny we just talked about thanksgiving. Yeah that's so funny. That was like that thanksgiving start crying again. I don't know i. And i was laughing and kept thinking how much i feel like kate and how much oliver reminds me of my brother with the singing and laughing and i thought you know what i want to somehow live near my brother. I don't wanna only see him during the holidays. I wrote my goal envisioned on a piece of paper and hit it behind something else pinned on my vision board. I don't know why i hit it. I had no idea how it happened. But the universe made its move and my job asked me if i wanted to move in the middle of a pandemic in twenty twenty two greenville. I decided to make it happen. I sold my house. I loved and my husband are beautiful. Six year old daughter savannah and our golden retriever moved to greenville for a chance of a new adventure. My head and agenda to be near brad. Finally when he comes home we moved away from all security. My parents who i used to see daily for a chance to live near my brother for once it was hard. We rent my brother's house and had hopes of him moving back soon but now it might be twenty twenty three now before he moved moves back. Guess i'll keep waiting. But you know what god has a way of working all things out. We love our new adventure here and feel like we're finally living in a great town. We've met new friends. My husband loves his new job. Savannah loves her new school. And i still have hope that one day we will all live together and have that loving relationship that you guys show on every episode. We think we can talk my parents into living in both cities if we are both in greenville throughout the year it gives me hope until then. I'll keep listening if you will keep sharing. Thanks for being sunshine into so many people's lives with your podcast. We are all saying me too in our own ways love. Y'all when. I am notify saying that. I'd been to grenville i've been degreen. Greenville ton like i play in a golf tournament there for the last. However many years really awesome is it feels amazing love greenville. I love this so much and you know what. It's so funny isn't it because it's like it's true like there's certain people like her brothers out there like doing all these things in dozen is just. It's like their brains are just different. Like she stayed closer to her parents than didn't go and do those kinds of things and it was always longing that her brother would be around. They'd have some sort of normal kind of it's gonna come. She's going to that to me is a great manifesting beginning. I i hope. I want wendy. Write us when it has. It's so weird. I you know even prior to his emails you started this whole thing off about talking about manifestation just in general and then the i e mails about her putting on her vision board manifesting sort of this new life or that she where she can be closer brother and if i can happen i mean weird man i love it. I love it awesome and is the time that that she took to write this. I don't know. I just. I just yeah it's true i it's so meaningful For me i mean. I i hope it is for other people listening to but like when i hear stories like this you realize that no matter how far away we all think we are or by the way people might think they are from me. Your you ali like more so interconnected. There's so much there's you know people. We think that we think that on the outside that there's such a difference that there's such a huge. You know that you know i. I know a lot of people sometimes think that our lives aren't necessarily normal and they're not. They're not normal. Nobody's life is normal right. There's such there's when it comes to family and dynamic and like how we all grow up and live and how that how that then sort of turned itself into who we are as adults in our relationships with our siblings and our parents it's so connected Yeah anyway. I just i just think that it is. It's like everyone wants to know like what's the secret. It's like the secret. Is you got to connect to your shit. Because it's we're all we all. That's where that's where every single human beings energies connected. We all have a different circumstances. Similar stories No it's true. It's a it's a good point we we really do. I mean a lot of the feelings are the same. Doesn't necessarily mean that against circumstantially things might be different but the root of some of these feelings there so interconnected you know the human experiences is never is never truly singular Right yeah well. That's that's why it's important to talk about these things in reach out. You know even though you know. You're not alone in the way that you feel. Sometimes it's nice to actually hear that. Other people are experiencing similar. Things you know going back to the first female to support group for alzheimer's. It's like yeah. Everyone knows it. Your many people are suffering. You know with caregiving for a loved one. Who has alzheimer's but it's nice to get into a place where you can talk and experience together and feel like you're a part of someone something that is going through something similar comforting one We're really excited to share this news. Okay so the the great courses plus which we have advertised on our show before is now one dream so we can still stream. All of our favorites from the great courses including videos created in partnerships with National geographic smithsonian history the culinary institute of america and more plus entirely new and exciting programs. So wondering i'm provides amazing video and audio learning experiences. No wondering is amazing. Like you get locked in you start to binge it i mean you can go down rabbit holes too because you can start something and then you. Maybe that's cool and then you're like all right now. Let's try something else and then boom you lock into something that you never thought that you would be that invested in and then you go down that rabbit hole. It's really awesome. I mean the content is endless. There's Videos created in partnership with with with national geographic with the smithsonian with the hit with history with the culinary institute of america and much much more so we can't wait for you to experience dream. Prepare to have your mind blown. All right for reals so sign up now through our special url to get this great offer to fourteen day free trial of unlimited access. Everything all you can eat. It's the sizzler. Buffet go now to wonder him. Dot com slash sibling. That's w. o. N. d. r. i. Um dot com slash sibling wondering dot com slash sibling. Heaton jerry's eggs. Pm jerry or a game changer. for me. I'm a big guy. I like hard boiled eggs over medium. Like over easy breezy this morning. I like a salad. I like it all. I love me some aggies. I love my eggs. 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Doesn't eggs the first one hundred listeners. Who go to pete. Jerry's dot com slash sibling to claim. Your free aggies. Your dozen eggs. Go to pete. And jerry's p. e. t. a. n. d. g. e. r. r. y. s. dot com slash sibling. Pete and jerry's organic eggs are available. Nationwide at a fine grocer near you all right. Hey cain oliver. Hope because a fabulous well where to begin. I am britney from a small town in georgia. I'm working at the hospital in the midst of the pandemic along with helping manage the cova vaccine clinics my sister's actually working with the department of public health and she runs the vaccine clinics there to say we are tired is an understatement. Parenti right now brittany. This podcast has helped me in so many ways. It's a place to go for tears. Laughs moments of realization. The real you guys always make me take a step back in my life and really think about the happiness and joy. I have received from my siblings. My siblings and i were not given the best childhood. Wait a minute alison. does you put a warning. No you not okay. Hold on my siblings and not giving the best childhood. I have two brothers that are younger than me and one sister. Who's a year older than me. We sadly had a depressed suicidal bipolar mother along with a father who had a very bad addiction to drugs each with so many horror stories of what we witnessed and what we emotionally felt. At that moment we were taken from our mother and father at a young age and spent years waiting to be reunited with our parents constant phone calls of asking mommy and daddy when they would pick us up but yeah it has caused us quite the abandonment issues. Yeah my father always has chosen women and drugs over his kids. he has not witnessed any of our berths. My mother tried her best to raise four children while constantly. Battling the demons of bipolar disorder. We sadly lost her mother to suicide about eight years ago and my father is still trapped in the addiction. World through many counseling sessions and tears. We've become quite amazing people regardless of what we have gone through. Wow good for you jesus. That's tough through all of the trauma and heartache. My siblings and i have created quite the bond we fight for one another. We're always there for one another and me and my Me and my sister basically became mothers. At quite a young age we've financially support our brothers and emotionally really etc. My brothers have turned out to be amazing. Young adults. my seventeen year old brother has his own business and was giving a lot of honors. For baseball he will graduate high school next year and we'll also be attending college hopefully for baseball if he chooses. My other brother is also on the same baseball team and has been given many honor. He has bipolar awhile and constantly fights his own demons every day. he has just gone into high school. Volunteers at church groups to help others works job. And he's fifteen. My brothers are my pride and joy. My brothers are my pride and joy. They continue to give us a reason to work harder every day. My sister is the first college graduate in our family. And i'm still working on my college degree with toxic family members loss gains given responsibilities. That were never supposed to be our. My sister and i have turned out quite amazing. I am resentful of the fact that my parents were never the parents we needed. But whenever i think about it it has molded us. it's at perseverance. Man just amazing. It is molded us into quite amazing individuals. Everything we have lacked from our childhood was given to our brothers not to say it was a blessing of losing my parents but we managed to make it and it is quite fast quite an amazing feeling. Thank you guys. Your podcast kate. I always loved you. You're such an inspiring woman. All versus an amazing man. Both of your stories are inspiring as you know the emptiness of apparent disappointing from a young age wishing you both lots of love brittany too. I did pretty good. Did pretty good like i mean. I don't know if i'd say that econo- loss. I just pause here you know. Look this is one of those stories. This is this is like you know to me. I mean. I know that britney knows because she says that you know she is amazing. First of all you are amazing in your sister. Sounds amazing in your brothers. Sound amazing an amazing is is is. The is the word of this letter. 'cause she says that a lot too so it's what a beautiful thing to be putting that out touching back touching on that real quick though like like when she says we've turned out. We have both my sister. I've turned out quite amazing. Like you said her owning that is awesome. Yeah yeah yeah. Because she knows she knows a new struggle. I mean those are things like you know i. I know you know losing your parent to suicide knowing that. That's i mean it. Sounds like steve known that that was a possibility throughout Being being young but growing up with that kind of instability is a very hard thing to come out the other side and and digest like keep fighting for a better life and that sounds like that. That is what not only the brittany and her sister's doing but what they're what they've given their brothers and yeah and now the fifteen year old has bipolar as well. So yeah it's it's also it's also an unfortunate unfortunate common story Meaning that again. You know britney the fact that they're not alone. I'm sure through her. Therapy has realized that. There's so many families who've you know. Go through this. You know we we. Talking about kids getting fostered with their siblings. And you know it's just that you know mental. Illness wreaks havoc on families. If you can't get the right help and I just. I might hope. And i'm sure that their brother is is doing good and and is getting the right kind of counseling. But what an amazing story i. How old is britney. Did she say this she. I don't think she did she. Well i know that the brothers are seventeen and fifteen graduated com. i'm assuming she's in her twenties. You know this is just unbelievable. i. It's incredible. I mean the strength again in the middle and i was like just when i was trying get through it just the perseverance. The sort of saying no. This is what we were dealt. And we're gonna make it better. We're gonna do you know what i mean like. It's just our sister graduating college also probably working fulltime. I'm assuming like look how hard they're working and now she's trying to. You know i mean it's it's it's is just is just amazing and you know addiction is a really scary thing because you know i always say. Sometimes you can't tell the smartest people you know. Stop using drugs. It's just such a hard thing to get people to recognize when they have that kind of addiction the importance of getting clean. You can't tell them they have to do it all on their own. You know. it's a really really and it doesn't mean that their father doesn't have is you know doesn't have all a great qualities or could be you know clear but that but drugs when they take a hold is is just like man's relentless and sure and then you gotta go back of course in. Do you know his their father's life. But what did that look like it but anyway. This is just a great share. I think the bond this is a great cert- of representation of siblings and how you can bond when when the one thing that they have and they know they have is the same experience with their parents. And it's brought them closer to each other more reliant on other more available to each other you know is just so thank god. They have each other. It's just some perfect amazing. Yeah britney we love you. Thank you for sharing. that was just the just. You are amazing okay. My name is sarah. And i've been a fan of your podcast since day. One aside from the pont podcast. I have been a fan of your family. As long as i can remember my husband and i dated for over seven years before becoming engaged in before you pop the question. I used to say that we could be life. Partners like goldie hawn kurt russell. Getting to know the two of you and your family dynamics through this podcast confirms that you are as delightful warm caring and close knit. As i have always believed i would use similar words. Describe the dynamics in my own family and we certainly appreciate healthy dose of humor with anything in life which is another reason why. I think i've always been such a big fan of yours. I have an older brother. Technically half brother but we've always referred to each other as full siblings and two younger sisters. My parents have been married for thirty plus years. And i had a real. Wholesome stereotypical midwestern upbringing without being said as you always say everyone in every family has their struggles. My older brothers. Almost eight years older than i. And i found it difficult to remain close to him in our adulthood. Which saddens me one sister is. Thirteen months younger than the other is almost eight years younger and we have always been like three peas in a pod. Once we got past the phase of my youngest sister being the annoying one who wanted to pretend she was older then what she was while we were growing up in recent years. I've seen my sister a younger sisters struggle with depression anxiety eating disorders alcoholism thoughts of suicide and legal issues as we always say everyone's got their shit. My heart has been in immense pain at time. Seeing my sister's hurting and ultimately knowing that i cannot take away their pain on top of being an older protective sister. I am also a mental health professional which only adds to the feeling like i should be able to fix them all of that aside in my work as a therapist i served primarily children in adolescence and feel a great sense of pride and purpose in helping others work through their struggles. You to our constant companion on my commute to and from work. And i look forward to your episodes every week. Almost getting giddy. When i see the notification on my phone that a new episode is available. You to of such a perfect yin and yang dynamic in your conversations and i appreciate all of the things that your podcast has shed light on including the light that it brings to my days when other things personally or professionally just seems to sad or tough keep up the great work and i really think that oliver could have a shot at being therapists. Someday i mean interest. You know much. Love sarah interesting jolly only you could be a therapist or life coach. Oh god can. I say right now. Now as the share. That's very nice of you. But i'm gonna have to like very respectfully declined. Draw my suggestion. Gosh all let me tell you what he if he could show up to the sessions. Let's just start with that right. Maybe late he'd be like on on a gondola like like zooming link yelling at his kids trying to do a session. That said it's interesting. The dynamic here where she is a mental health professional albeit working with children and adolescence. But still i wonder what that that feeling that he adds to the helplessness of. Yeah i. I'm trained to help you. And i fucking can't yeah. It's gotta be crazy. It's like having a child that you wish you could take their pain away. You think you wish it's like it's like you. And i saw you walk in the house the other day i kind of made you come to your friend's house house like you got to come over like what are you doing. You're like sitting on the couch. Whatever but when you walked in. I just had a sense an energetic sense not saying that you were necessarily in that place but i like sawyer like i could see like your chest was like just like halt holding so much and i was like just like pull this out of my brother. I just want to like get like like like it's a demon like it's like an entity and i want i want to i want to. I want to just suck it out. I wanna like. I want to exercise it out. I want to do. Don't don't don't say suck it out. That is inappropriate. No no energetic for it to be sucked out. Like i want nine. You know when you a booger. That's like really deep in your nose and you get it and it's one of those boogers that you know when it comes out it's going to feel like it's in your brain and then your entire sinuses clean. That's how i felt about your anxiety. When i saw you i wanted to take it and like release it so that you can have a full that your body was empty right. I wanted your body feel empty of that. And and and i think is a as a sister who cares about a sibling or or brother. Whatever it is. It's one of those feelings real like like help that go I know but but you can only do so much. Yeah you got you know. Well it sounds like the headlines gonna be weird. Kate hudson wanted to suck the demons out of her brother. The great line definitely want to know what we're talking. Funny well sarah. I love how much you care. I love the work that you do. We need more mental health professionals out there working with children in and I wish you could say that. It's getting better but it's it's not unfortunately so you know. Thanks for that in and and i hope your sisters alright and thank you for writing in so. This was a comment on on apple podcast and we thought it was. It was a nice so okay here we go. I'm sixty six year old woman who has lived my life with severe ptsd. I was physically and emotionally abused as a young girl and living a so called normal. Life was just not realistic. I've always felt different. But now i am more aware of why. Thanks to inner child work by the way i like to. We should talk to someone who does all that inner child. It's interesting. yeah i've had. I've had three siblings. My youngest brother died from a drug overdose. I am not close to my living brother. He's very closed off to having any relationship. My sister and i are just now trying to get to know each other. We all lived in an abusive home. You guys and your open. Vulnerable relationship makes me feel sane in somewhat normal love you so much and i look forward to every episode. You guys are so fun. Stay beautiful oliver. You are precious man. Katie you're laughs. Make me laugh. You both are open and always trying to be better humans. We all need to be kind and love sometimes from afar but kindness and love is the answer to living with piece. I love getting to know you too. We are all human. We can live a life with forgiveness love and kindness without judgment. Enjoy your life with each other. Life's too short for anything else. He oh that's so wonderful. I mean your reframe that you know. It's it's it's it's. It's always nice to hear that even when you're experiencing at in the work like you can tell like she's clearly moe's you sixty six. You still working. I mean we have a friend and she has a lot of. Ptsd a lot of seven. She's in her sixties and she's constantly working and sometimes i you know i'll be talking with her and i'll like kind of like stop and be like you know. Sometimes we don't have to just work so hard like the uphill battle of trying. 'cause we're always changing our life. We should always be looked like there's no moment in your life or something doesn't need to be kind of worked through something. There's always something but when people have really experienced stuff like this abuse and sometimes you work so hard to to feel light that the work in itself is adding to the Sometimes you just need to like yeah. It's okay to just oh yeah you can overload for sure. Yeah like you don't have to work so hard like you know an and i love. I love what she's saying about Peace and forgiveness. I i lately. This is like one of the things. I think about a lot. Because we're living in such a tumultuous rigid thinking time And and. I feel like the one thing that we're forgetting about. Movement and change is forgiveness because it just doesn't peace cannot exist without that piece of the puzzle it just cannot and when she's it's when she says that you have to be the You have to be able to forgive the hardest things in order to find inner peace and just because you forgive doesn't mean that you like you know i say forgiveness like a part of that you can. You can sort of marry with your face. A lot of people who have more religious practices or spiritual practices. Have an easier time for with forgiveness because they believe that a something you know are bigger is going will be like. It's it's like when someone says. I forgive you because your your your your words and your issues are with god. Not with me you know. Let god let god be. That's sort of a very kind of christian. Like let god be the germ it right witness right but you can forgive but i think will not associate. Yeah i think. I think that but i think that that's a really beautiful concept. Which is don't take on someone else's even if it's inflicted you you even if it's even if it's challenged to carry that is to give it power right. We'll forgiveness is is selfish innocent away right. You're doing it for yourself. I mean if you forgive and let go like forgive like god you know i think then you can find real peace. Now you know i. It's it's it's it's it's like like our therapist easier you know sounds simple not simplistic because it's so hard but it's it's it's working that process that i think brings people more lightness of being right. Well there's a route to everything right. There's a route to the pain of of everyone and those who didn't get to that route to break a cycle will then continue it. Yeah and then bring it so. It's about forgiving where they came from forgiving them based on what their situation was and again. It doesn't mean you have to associate and become friends or have her new relationship with but it's just an awareness. A mindfulness of oh wait. They went through this and didn't have the capacity to sort of fix themselves and then they passed it down. I'm going to bring this back full circle. Because we started this talking about tina turner and the abuse that she experienced him watching her documentary and all of that and and and when she found buddhism and that was when she started to release and forgive and let go and start to look to to let let go of the control and the stop. Reliving the story you know and it's a very challenging thing to do but oh my god thank everybody again. We love the email episodes of now. They're so they're so they're they're so therapeutic. I think i i wanted to do this. I guess that's kind of like the red table. Talk that jada and the and it's sort of like there's something so therapeutic about being able to talk about and like lineage. We lose sight of our lineage. I was doing this thing with I was. I was looking through instagram. And and someone had posted about and someone had posted about this bill maher talking about how people actually revere their elders in most because they're because of the wisdom the life that they live with the knowledge that they have and like lineage and how important it is to keep those things like you know we. We need to have more reverence for our siblings and are older. Siblings are younger. Like how we. I don't know what i'm trying to say. I'm trying to say these. No i'm just just give me these email episodes. That's sort of what i get from it. It's like i sort of get reminded that that our story. Our our lineage. That's the place we need to actually grow from. That's our launching pad at it and no matter how difficult it is it. You need to honor it. I know that sounds crazy for people who but like honor it and then and then you're in that's where you launched from and you can launch in any direction you choose any different direction breaking the cycle but like honoring that everything has a story comes from from something learning about understanding it so that you can make better decisions for your right you can either continue it or break from it. You know ending on what that story is. Yeah for sure. I love you. My brother love you to that was fun. Sibling revelry is executive produced. By kate hudson and oliver producers alison president editor. Is josh windisch music by mark. Hudson uncle mike. Do you want to show us some love rate to show and leave us a review. This show is powered by simple cast.