20 Episode results for "Bruce Langford"

Discover Your Purpose; Bruce Langford and JV Crum III

Mindfulness Mode

37:01 min | 3 months ago

Discover Your Purpose; Bruce Langford and JV Crum III

"Mindfulness mode a mindful tribe. Welcome to twenty twenty one. I wanna thank you for supporting mindfulness mode and being a faithful listener and if you are a faithful listener you know that. I'm now helping people improve their lives now. Not only with mindfulness but also with hypnosis. Because now. I'm a certified hypnotist and i'm excited to be using the skill to help people just like you and more about that later but today to celebrate the first show of twenty twenty one. I'm switching seats. I'm being interviewed today by my friend. Jv the third so sit back relax and enjoy. Today's episode. i. This is jamie crumbling third. I'm actually the host of the conscious millionaire show. But today i have the incredible honor of interviewing bruce langford on his own. Show the mindfulness mode podcast. So you know you are always hearing bruce interview all these amazing people and first of all. I want to thank you for showing up. Because i know. If you're at bruce this show you are at of the top shows but you probably never get a formal introduction of bruce and actually know some of his background. So i'm going to introduce bruce and we're going to have an incredible conversation about how to use mindfulness to discover your purpose in life. Well bruce is a mindfulness speaker writer. Life coach consultant and founder of the mindfulness mode. Podcast with over two million listeners. Bruce has extensive experience in bullying prevention enabling him to help people who have been bullied or who experienced south bullying houston livered. More than seventeen. Hundred live presentations. So yes today. i'm gonna interviews. Bruce langford preuss. Welcome to your own show. Hey it's great to be here. Thanks javy for doing this. This is a really exciting. Well this is kind of fun. And then we're you're interviewing me on my show and actually i don't think i think it's been a two or three years since somebody who's done that so we've been friends for a long time and this is just kind of a fun thing to do and of course purpose in life is one of my big topics as well. So i'm really curious as to how your purpose has do ribbon you as an entrepreneur. Well my purpose has given me laser focus. Because i was so determined to help people who were bullied that i just moved right into that space and then i i use mindfulness to get even more centered and more laser focused. And that's what i help. Other people do is find their purpose by using mindfulness. So let's get down into mindfulness county your specific definition because you know both of us travel and spiritual groups and conscious groups go to different retreats and. There's a lot written on mindfulness today. But how do you define it. Reuss while i define mindfulness as living in the moment thinking in the moment understanding that you know if i'm focusing on the past that that is going to pull me away from my purpose it's gonna pull me away from the focus that i really need to have an if i'm worrying about the future and what might be coming up tomorrow or even in a few minutes then that's pulling me away from the present moment that's pulling me away from being a mindful person so to me being mindful is just living in the moment and also not being judgmental and the one thing i realize is that you know. It's so easy for us. As humans to be judgmental of other people of other situations it is really a natural part of being human. But when i do that. I notice it and i pull myself back from it because i just find that that that judgmental piece is a very important piece of mindfulness to to notice it and then and then stop being so judgmental of others. Because then i'll stop being so judgmental of myself. So that's a big part of mindfulness to me so staying in that present moment and also staying out of judgment. I'm curious win. Was the first time in your life that you started asking this purpose question like why am i here. What am i on the planet to do. The first time was when i was a kid. Actually i was around eleven years old between ten and eleven years old and i started thinking of time i started thinking of time passing and the importance of time and what that really meant. What was that all about. What was that concept of time. And i remember so clearly that i got so involved in thinking about this that i just was in this world of my own and i was in this imaginary world to a lot of times where i would just spend time thinking and spend time Just really reflecting on what certain things meant in the world. And that's one of the reasons why i use the time acronym now i talk about time. And and the important Different aspects of of how time has affected me in my thoughts. About how time passes and time has everything to do with mindfulness. Of course well it does. And i know that you explore your consciousness like idea. I have been in many states. And i've been thinking states by not the united states folks but states of being where i've been in states being the past the present and the future are all merged into any tunnel now and and. I know that you've probably had those kind of experiences. How does that impact your understanding of your own purpose. When you're it away almost meta looking at yourself almost outside of yourself in a way and going. I'm looking at purpose and while we experienced time as as linear that when you're looking at purpose from a non linear place what is it what what's shifts for you in terms of maybe having a deeper understanding of your purpose and and although we haven't talked about your specific purpose yet we're really folks just laying the groundwork of what is purpose in. How do we begin to encounter it for ourselves. Well one of the things that comes to mind is that i i throw my life have had this dream and it's very much like you describe is like leaving my body and i'm rising up and i'm looking down and i'm seeing myself down there on earth but i'm looking at it from from this incredible position way up in the universe and that is what i think gave me the perspective that i'm here for a reason i'm here on this earth for a reason and that is to help other people find their reason. Find their purpose and to use aspects of mindfulness to do that to help them understand how they can do the work how they can reach out to others because with that time acronym the first one that t is about together and i think for too much of my life. I felt like i had to do it myself. And that was a real learning step for me and so i teach other people that hey you can do this together. With other like minded people learn from authors learn from speakers learn from friends surround yourself with like minded people and as you moving on your journey in life you will understand and you will begin to understand more of what your purpose really is from other people who are looking for similar answers to what you're looking for. Well i love that. A collaborative piece right at the beginning. And i'm curious i actually don't know this about you. Are you an only child or did you have brothers and sisters. no. I come from a family of seven. Oh my goodness the other end of the continuum. Because what i was listening to. You say that. I'm an only child. So i actually did have to learn how to do this thing. Called being social. Because i didn't growing up in a really small town there. The joke was either plague. Or you didn't play because there only about seven kids. Within three years of my age we we. We beat each other up one day right. You get that little kid fight. When you're five next to play had to work that out a yes. So what is the second part of your acronym. All the second part is is inner work. You gotta do the inner work you need to you need to write. You need to explore those thoughts. That are running through your mind. You need to give yourself the time and space to really understand what's important in life walk in nature and learn that way and i think a lot of times we don't spend enough time in nature and that will help us get clear on our goal and life's direction and understand what our true purpose is because it's not going to come all at once. Usually sometimes it comes in a flash or bits and pieces of it come in a flash but you really have to do that. Inner work in order to help yourself to notice what these things are so that you can. You can listen to yourself. And like i said a lot of it comes to me through writing so that inner work is incredibly important so yeah the tea is together. The i is inner work. And if i could move onto the am i think that's incredibly important The emma's meditate. Yes so tation. All of these pieces are important. And let's get them all out and then we can look at. What i think is is clear as is and you're discussing it is that there's layers to yes purpose. There's layers to our journey so so we have tv for time but kids together. Yes i used the inner work and a lot of that and i agree. It's go out in nature journal. I take my little mole skin with me. I'm like linus my most getting comes along. What my blanket right. I never go anywhere with. Forget the american express in my wallet but i take my most so and then so we have time and been him. Let's go into that a little more than the emma's meditate and i feel like everybody meditates in their own way in a different way you might have been taught formerly you might do t. m. transcendental meditation you. You may have other types of meditation but is a huge part of this picture and you can use an app you can you know. Use an app like the com- apathy a. l. m. and that will help you learn how to meditate and of course there are all kinds of apps out there. There's a insight timer where you can get yourself a meditation teacher right there on the app and meditation is a huge part of this and i just think you need to start. You need to take action. Maybe you've never meditated. Or maybe you have meditated sporadically. But i really feel it's important to meditate on a regular basis. Make it part of your routine or habit. Make meditation part of your life. That is just so integral to what you do. And how you that. You wouldn't completed day without meditating at least once. Yes so i. I really wanna come back and dig into that. But let's get the entire acronym out and so then. What we stand for is exercise. Move your body. make sure that you're not stagnant. Because as we do that and there seems to be this poll. I know for me. You know there's this poll toward the couch. This poll toward. Hey i'm kinda tired. I just wanna sit down. I just want to relax. And so i make sure that i move every day that i exercise every day because i believe that your body is just created to move and that in doing that. That's when some of the biggest revelations will come to you. Your your brain starts to operate differently as you move and exercise so so e is exercise. I think that you just you just really need to make sure. That's a daily habit as well. So what i love about this. And i wanna point out to To you who are listening is how holistic this is and it's laid out a journey that from my own experience i've lived buddhist monastery. I actually wear monk's robes while i meditate and so i create a space right so there's a space where i meditate but then i create an environment that that takes me deeper into that. I'd like to discuss for a moment. The layering of discovering your purpose. Because i go out of nature's well we. We do very similar things so week from now. I'm going on a personal retreat outing keystone. I live in in colorado and going to work from eight to one and then from one on i'm going out and do nature trails and just be in nature because that seems to rejuvenate me but it also connects me so this journey of finding layers of bruce. I'm curious about how you personally or would recommend for anybody to find the layers of who they are and their purpose through this experience of the acronym of time. Well i think that you have to remember the other t. And that is take action. I think so many times we get inside our heads and we start thinking. Oh yeah. I'll read more and i'll and i'll do this. Inner work one. Poke away yeah. That's right yeah and so we have to take action and we have to make sure that we are actually doing the things that move us forward not actually thinking about the things in so in a reading or meditating were thinking we're using our mind but we have to be taking action and you're right. These are all different layers moving toward learning what your purpose in life is so you have to understand that while layers are happening. And you're doing all these different things. You are actually taking action as well and that needs to be an ongoing part of this initiative that you are taking actions so i'm glad you asked that and what i also heard. Bruce was consistency. Because you're saying well you need to meditate daily. You need to do regular exercise that it's not like you save it up and then one day out of the week you go okay. I'll medicate three hours. That's not the same as a half hour or whatever it is for you every day because this is it's like i take a lot of supplements at moved to a plant aced way of eating other than chairman at seems to work but otherwise it's all as most of it's completely fresh but it's not like i am i that i save up all those supplements the sink and all of this stuff that i take that once once a week i take a whole lot of it. It wouldn't have the same effect so that's kind of the same thing you're talking about and wouldn't it be great if we could just save it all up and do you all are writing once a month and do all our once a month or something. Well it just doesn't work that way. that's for sure. And that's why emphasize that that you you need to make a commitment to yourself. Make a promise to yourself and keep it and that promise could be just meditating every day for five minutes once you look back and maybe you've looked back at a month or whatever and you're like hey yeah. I really kept that promise to myself. That's a big deal and even though it may not have seemed like much like meditating for five minutes really you know. I'm sure we can all find five minutes in our day. Every single data meditate. But if you actually do it. You are accomplishing something. You are taking action. You're keeping a promise to yourself that you have made and that is huge. You don't i think it's really important. I want to bring this up. Because i've personally found that i've done this at times. Bruce and and if you're listening and we're all human beings probably all have is that some days i've avoided meditation right and then i have to figure out what is it. I'm avoiding because meditating time that your present it's practicing being present. It's been connected to yourself so that i have to look and go. Well wait a minute. I have time. That's for clear that's clear what was i avoiding. Cetera for happened to you. That has happened to me. In one of the things i realize and i've learned is that i have to be careful not to beat myself up afterwards. You know it's fine to think about. Okay why did i really do that. Oh you know. What was i going through a time where i just couldn't bear to look any deeper inside. Myself was just so much since nine pain. That's exactly what. I was thinking i usually. It's like it's easier to stay distracted. Because i think of meditation is when i stopped distracting myself. Right it's far easier to stated distracted and and look around. You look around us all in the world. Isn't that what we're all doing role running around being busy. Were being distracted. Were doing doing doing all these things to keep us busy to keep our minds off the pain a lot of the time and you know as the pandemic began. I personally went out. Rented a house out as i go in the middle of nowhere with lots of nature around me and for the most part self isolated for five months. And i've come back out a little bit and now i've decided that in two months from now i'm going to do that for like another five months because i found that i didn't realize how much all the things i used to do like going to the symphony and going to the jazz club and going to films and concerts and stuff. I didn't look at it. that way. Bruce but i realized when it was removed because it was no longer possible that those had actually been ways. I distracted myself from going deeper and i didn't even recognize that and and i just want to ask if you're listening into this conversation. Have you noticed a shift for yourself as we've gone through this pandemic where. We all made some changes in our daily lifestyle. But i think it's brought a lot of people more home to who they who they are. Because all those distractions were no longer there. I definitely think so too. Jv i think that a lot of people have started to really examine their life in a whole different way than they ever have because they've kind of had to stop and look at things and they've stopped and notice the pain. They've stopped and notice some of their emotions and they've started to examine some of this and started to think. Hey you know. Is this really where. I want to be in life and i. I definitely agree with you. I think a lot of us have started to reexamine our lives as a result of it so it conscious millionaires. So i want to bring this in before we go to break at conscious billionaire. We talk about the conscious part. And that's who am i. Why am i on the planet. What's my purpose. What's my vision for the difference. I wanna make as an entrepreneur as a coach as a business owner and then we go over to the money part and go okay. How do we align the two so that you are making money. You're putting money in your bank account. You're being financially successful but in a purpose driven purposeful way conscious mindful way. How do you integrate those two. Well one of the things. That i've i've done for a very long time. Is you know once. I discovered my purpose and would look at my purpose than i think to myself. Am i doing right now. An activity that is helping me move forward in my purpose and also move forward financially. So i merged those two because i know that unless i move forward financially. I can't very effectively move forward in my purpose and vice versa. So i wanna make sure that what i'm doing right now or at least i want to make sure i know whether what i'm doing right now is moving me forward financially now when you do the inner work you know sometimes that has nothing to do with it at all. But i want to know that on a day to day basis. I am working toward the financial piece. Because that's how i can. I can achieve. My purpose is by building my my Life financially what. Bruce i wanna thank you for the honor of being here. We've got a lot more coming up. We've got a twenty four hour challenge folks right after the break and then we've got the millionaire entrepreneur questions. You wanna stay tuned for those. So we're going to be right back. Yes on the mindfulness mode podcast. I'm going to cut in here. Mindful tribe. I'm talking to you if you've been trying and trying to lose weight. Maybe you're feeling it's hopeless. Maybe you're discourage maybe you've tried so many times to lose weight while you know what. It's not hopeless. Hypnosis changes everything because it transitions the way you think. It conquers your inner bully. I personally lost thirty five pounds. I've capped it off with the help of hypnosis. Using mindfulness and hypnosis. I will help you lose your weight because i am trained in hypnosis and you deserve it. You deserve to lose that weight. Send me an email. Bruce at mindfulness mode dot com and put weight loss in the subject line. We'll jump in a free forty five minute call to answer all your questions and now back to the show. Welcome back javy crumlin third. And it's my honor. Today to be interviewing bruce langford normally. I'm interviewing people on my podcast conscious millionaire show but actually you might want to go over there and check out. Bruce interviewed me for the conscious millionaire. Show so we're just flipping but getting interviewed on our own shows. And now it's time for me to just take a moment for you. And i want you to know that i appreciate you showing up because i knew if you're showing up for the mindfulness mode podcasts that you are truly interested and probably committed to having a life. That has more purpose more. Mindfulness that you want take your journey to a deeper level. I know that. Bruce takes you there on every episode and so we want to take you there in a new way with a twenty four hour challenge. Roussel turned that over to you. Yeah so. I challenge you to put meditation into your life in the next twenty four hours. Now that can just be a five minute period of meditation. Or maybe if you've been a regular meditate or or even a sporadic meditators. Maybe you might want to commit yourself to doing. You know twenty or thirty minute meditation session but promise yourself within the next twenty four hours. You are going to do a meditation session and you can. You can couple that with deep breathing you can You can use an app for that like the com app or the insight timer app. Those apps will help you to do this. But i encourage you to do this. Twenty four hour challenge. Make sure you do meditate between now and when twenty four hours from now is concluded. So yeah get into your life and then added to your life on a regular basis after that. I love that bruce Meditation is such an important part of each of our lives. And and i know when you make it. An important part of yours are deepen your meditation practice. You already have that you're going to get into transform from the inside out to a new level. I wanted to reach out and thank all of bruce's fans in toronto and australia and now it's time for. Yes the knowing air entrepreneur. Questions and bruce. I want to start with mindset which is pretty like next door neighbor to mindfulness right. What's the fine set that you've developed that help you discover your best business opportunities. Well the mindset is moving from a place where. I thought i had to do it all as an entrepreneur. I thought oh. I have to figure all this out and do it all to a place where i felt comfortable asking for help so the mindset is being willing to ask others for help and they're all kinds of people and now we can connect even easier online with others so be willing to ask others for help and and learn how to How to do what you need to do. Just by surrounding yourself with like minded people. Well let's shift from mindset to strategy and what's a strategy that you recommend to your own listeners. That will help them no matter what they're doing where they have a job or they have an entrepreneurship or their coach through a business owner. That'll help them make more money. Well focus on helping others. Don't focus on the money. Don't focus on you. Focus on the other people that you're going to help in life and i found that once i started to really focus on helping others what i could do for those other people and their stories and i started to notice people who would come to me and say hey you know you really helped me. This is what happened. You know like i was experiencing this and i was experiencing that and then i i was able to hear you speak or i was able to hear a podcast that you recorded and that made a huge difference for me so once you start focusing on helping others and not focusing on the money itself i think that is a powerful strategy to help. You become empowered as an entrepreneur and bruce. I just want to second that because at conscious millionaire it starts with the impact the conscious part and the money and i think one of the biggest. And it's going to sound when you hear this if you haven't heard it exactly this way but sound a little. I got to digest that. that's great. Is that the people who make the most money are not focused on making the money you become a millionaire by focusing on impacting other people's lives in a way that expresses your purpose and is what they need to solve their problems. It brings the two together. And that's how money is explosively literally made out of thin air. Because it's not like there's some reservoir money over here and you wanna get your part of it you create it by adding value an impact. So i completely concur to that you know this kind of next question summarises a lot of what we've been talking about today. Bruce what is your life purpose and how did it influence your business vision. My life purpose is helping others to to find their sense of calm their focus and their happiness and understand that many times it's bullying or self bullying that's holding them back and so i teach specifically about that bullying piece but i help people find their calm focus and happiness so that they can live a life of contentment. What's a book. That would help any entrepreneur coach or business owners some someone who's generating their own income through their their power. Something they're building. what's a book. That would help them all a book. That would help you is well. I'll just say. I read every single day. So i've always got books on ago that i love and looking over your my stack of books. I want to add some folks. Because i want to share this if i can because i think it's a fun way to look at this. It was a few years back. But i you stick them in every color imaginable. I think i'm keeping them in a in in business all by myself. I which weeding twenty three books simultaneously. And so that tells you that that my focus is maybe a little different than your some people's focus but some books i wouldn't pick up for another two munch that the moment i felt inspired to pick that book and they were in stocks right. I didn't put them away. 'cause i look at stuff wherever that stick was. I can tell you bruce. It was exactly the information the inspiration. The empowerment that i needed at that moment and i was just taking that journey through twenty three books simultaneously. Wow that's incredible well. This book that i just finished reading is is pretty amazing and i. I'm i was surprised once. I started reading it because i didn't. I didn't really understand the title unst until i started reading. It and the book is called conscious. Lock it's called conscious lock and it was written by someone that i interviewed recently. Gay hendricks and if you know gay hendricks he know that. He's absolutely amazing and it was written with his friend. Carol klein so to incredible people who are bestselling authors with other books that they've written and i love the the subtitle. It's eight secrets to intentionally change your fortune. And you know i thought well lock luck. What do you mean like. I don't even think of lock as being a part of my life. But once i started reading this book he defines it on a whole different way and when i interviewed him. That's an episode. Five hundred seventy nine. He talks more about this book conscious. Lock and i think you might like to check it out so check out the book. Conscious luck it's a pretty fun read and yet it'll help you change your fortune at if you're sitting there and you're not as familiar with gay hendricks i wanna remind you probably heard of the book. The big leap. And that's one of the books that made gay extremely famous bruce. I always ask my guests. I'm gonna ask you as well. What's the best way right now. If you're right now are listening to this podcast. What's the best way for people to reach out and connect with you. Well the best way is. Just email me bruce. At mindfulness mode dot com. And you can hear more from me on the mindfulness mode. Podcast and i'm on practically every podcast app. There is out there and Past i guess it's two point three million downloads and as i mentioned earlier. I help people through the hypnosis training that i've received i help people to lose weight or quit smoking or change. Your mind sat in an area. Where maybe your stock and you want to get started in twenty twenty one to really make a difference in your life so just email me. Bruce at mindfulness mode dot com will jump on a forty five minute call and we'll work together to solve these challenges in your life. You know this is one of the most fun questions i ask. And it's on my show or asking you. we didn't. I never discuss it in advance. Because i always want to be surprised myself. What's that next stomach that you want to climb and what might be a challenge or obstacle that you've got to overcome to reach it. I've discovered that. I can just help people in a deeper way through Therapy and and so i. I learned this from my friend. Eric flint and i actually interviewed her an episode. Five hundred ninety So erica flint is a hypnotherapist and she explains how. This isn't just something that you do on stage or something. You're trying to impress people. This is something that can help you and help others. And so in my coaching. I'm really excited about helping. Other people through hypnotherapy. Congratulations well bruce. This brings us to what has been the trademark question. I've asked over two thousand times on the conscious millionaire show. What's the legacy you wanna leave. All i want the legacy to be that. I've helped over three million people through being bullied or self bullied. I've helped them through these challenges and so many well really all of us have this element of self bullying which is our inner voice. That is derailing us at one point or another in our life. And i just want to be known as that person who has helped so many people move through this challenge. Well i wanna thank you for showing up for listening for being a loyal listener of the mindfulness mode. Podcast and bruce. I wanna thank you for the honor of getting to interview on your own show. Thank you so much for having me today and jv. I want to thank you for being the host for interviewing me. It's just awesome to kind of switch the roles here and have you interview me. Thank you so much for doing that. Javy well this was a lot of fun. And i'm thinking law. I'd like to do some more of this kind of thing. So thank you for showing up and bruce. Thank you as always. It's incredible connecting with for sure by now mindful tribe thanks for listening for subscribing and for reviewing the show and for telling your friends about mindfulness mode. Thanks also to erica. Flint's cascade hypnosis center for being valued sponsor. Erica is terrific. Teacher of hypnosis. And i know that. Because i am a graduate of her program. Now if you're a healer a coach a therapist a counselor or just someone who loves helping people you might want to consider the powerful results. That can be achieved with hypnosis. You can learn how to do it. Contact the team over at cascade. Hypnosis center dot com and take what we learned today to reach new heights calm focus and happiness stay in the mode.

bruce Bruce bruce langford Bruce langford preuss javy Reuss jamie linus javy crumlin houston bruce Meditation monk jazz club united states colorado Roussel Gay hendricks Carol klein hendricks
1821: Best of Series: Bruce Langford: How being Mindful Increases Your Bottom Line

Conscious Millionaire Show ~ Business Coaching and Mentoring 6 Days a Week

27:14 min | 9 months ago

1821: Best of Series: Bruce Langford: How being Mindful Increases Your Bottom Line

"Welcome to the conscious Mariner podcast show episode number eighteen, twenty one. The Best of series. This is Bruce Lankford author of cracking the success. Code. On today's show, I'll share with you how to use mindfulness in your coaching practice. So you will increase your bottom line and make your first million. Look to conscious millionaire the number one show conscious entrepreneurs and CEOS on a mission to build a highly profitable business to make a positive impact on Egypt. So discover how to make bigger money, create a bigger impact and live a bigger live. You're listening to the conscious meaner network her by over twelve million listeners in one hundred, ninety countries. Now joined your host jv crumbling third the conscious meaner mentor master NLP coach Speaker and author of the number one international bestseller conscious millionaire grow your business by making the difference. Now you're gonNA WANNA, stay tune and take some notes because today's guest is an expert in mindfulness and we're going to have a really unique show. It's kind of like conscious millionaire. We're GONNA talk about how becoming more mindful as a coach or mentor consultant will help you increase your bottom line. Help me welcome are featured guest. He works time in the field of mindfulness as a consulted and life coach and use the host and creator of the mindfulness mode podcast. By the way folks I bid on the podcast you're GONNA WANNA. That out, and we'll have a link to it by the way on the show notes at conscious millionaire show dot com that's mindfulness mode podcast. Our guest also has a background in the field of bullying prevention that gives him a unique perspective because of the connection between self sabotage, bullying and mindfulness. We've got an exciting show for you today with our featured guest. Bruce Langford. Bruce with each other a couple years where actually this year we're at a conference together again but you know how would you describe yourself and your own words? Well. I would describe myself as somebody who's pretty calm pretty relaxed and it's as a result of the meditating that I do in the mindfulness practice that I do and you know a few years ago I. Decided I wanted to learn to ski and after I spent some time on a few small hills I took the high speed quad here up to the top and I skied over the edge and I have this overwhelming feel fear you know this feeling of fear mixed with pure excitement and on that I run I had this this feeling of just letting go and allowing myself. To float over the snow and you know and I just thought you know this is a great analogy to using mindfulness in business letting go but staying in control enjoying the ride but being aware of risk and you know just kind of watching the scenery but staying present and aware you know that's that's a great I went through a long period of skiing I was in Colorado and I actually said, wow, this is kinda cool at forty two. I discovered my ultimate sport because I love waterskiing and then of course, you blow out one of your knees and you blow up the second needing to the you know the surgery and all that kind of stuff. But you know this is a unique show I know you're GonNa really enjoy today because it's an exciting topic you usually think of mindfulness as. Part of that holding hands and singing Koumba and you know being a more connected with yourself. It's more the soft side of life and business, and here we are talking about mindfulness and how you can increase your bottom line. So if you're a coach, your mentor, your consultant. Or advisor of any type, this is going to be an exciting show for you and that's why had roussin. So first of all Bruce, let's start with the basics. Let's define some terms here because mindfulness. You know has a lot of different takes. What is mindfulness me? Mindfulness means focusing on now being present right now not being. So caught up in worrying what's going to happen tomorrow worrying about the future or focusing on what happened in the past and it's also about. Judging not judging other people not judging situations not judging yourself. So those are are aspects of mindfulness that are just critical to to get those. What you know I almost want to just jump in completely here and I know we're GONNA paint a path and has some steps here but. How is it that you see a relationship between becoming more mindful And increasing your bottom line. Because these days more and more clients are looking for people who are authentic people are looking for a coach or maybe they don't even know they're looking for a coach. They need somebody that they can relate to somebody they feel comfortable with and through mindfulness you can be that person because so often were were so worried about the cash were worried about the bottom line were worried about will I Have Enough coaching clients and you know what people can feel that they can just just feel that you're so concerned about that but it may be a subconscious thing. What we need to do as coaches is be more relaxed more authentic honest and they can tell that and once you start practicing mindfulness, you start meditating and start using some of these tools that will just come across to your potential clients. Okay. So let's cut a model this because you're you're listening and maybe you're saying to yourself okay I, it's a great concept Bruce but I wanNA know specifically how am I going to do this as a coach because right now I'm looking for more clients. I. Need to put more money in the bank. Are you know I want to grow my business financially? Tell me how to do this what would be some steps that someone might be able to take bruce? The first step is you need to increase your listening ability. You have to be a great listener you have to be. Hundred percent present when you are talking to whoever it is that potential client and you need to be aware of your body language because that's what they're picking up, they're picking up, you know I contact or lack of it. They're picking up everything about your body language and all of these are All of these are aspects which contribute to how good listener you're being. So that's the first one. So let's start and kind deconstruct for moment because I meditated a lot of things that I do to become present. How does someone take? Say, the practice of meditation is maybe you meditate or even the practice of teaching some deep breaths because that also brings you present. And how does that translate because? I I am all in I mean to me it's about being a listener. That's what I do is a host I'm listening to you. How does that translate to listening skills is there's something you need to do specifically to become a better listener. Yeah you need to be absolutely focused on what you are thinking at that time. You know you are so easy for us as human beings to be. We think we're being present. We think we're listening to what the other person's saying, but we're actually thinking about you know what am I? What's my next question GonNa be your what's my next common? What what did I answer last time you know we wanna be full so you want to be totally present on them totally present. Yes. Okay and then let's just draw that out you're in let's say you're an enrollment call with somebody and you're being present. Qualitatively How does that change often times the result of that call in terms of somebody buying or not buying. Well. It changes it because I'm listening for clues I'm I'm getting to know that potential client and I'm learning what their values are and by learning what they're all about. Then I know what to offer, and as soon as I figure out exactly what I'm going to offer. So I can help that person vacancy my value as a coach. Then before long they are going to be asking me, how can I work with you know? Jesus. This just feels right. This feels like we have a connection here and I would really like to work with you. How do we do that? Yep Okay. So they're they're having experienced because I was just right before this call on the call with somebody I might hires as my next coach that I'm working with and what was important to me is that he heard me I felt heard. I think that's what you're saying that and I have a lot of people tell me. Oh you get me. Yeah, that's right. That's exactly right that connection is made. You you really get me. So what would be the next step that someone would take to kind of bring this of full force Ford about mindfulness and let's say you've got the enrollment call. This is now a client and you're working with the client. It's month after month. How does being mindful actually further, the coaching process in terms of the value they get. That's one question I'll just let you address these. However you want and in terms of how it makes that client you know realize they actually want to keep working with you. One of the things is that you really have to always remind yourself to be honest and authentic, and that authentic piece comes with being honest and so many times we think we're being honest and then if you really dig in, you realize maybe I wasn't being as honest as I thought I was. So as a coach, you need to be totally honest upfront. And you need it need to be listening to your client to and picking up clues as to how honest they're being because sometimes they think they're being honest but they're really not. So this whole honesty pieces is really huge and and then you need to be listening and noticing your own emotions as you move through this because your emotions will will send you. Signals as to how you're doing and you know it's okay if you have fear as a coach with this client as to where you're going or maybe you're you're you're worried about, maybe you got some anger because this coach hasn't really shown a lot or this client hasn't really shown a lot of respect or whatever it is. So you need to be able. To identify those emotions, notice them and let them happen because in our society, we tend to too often suppress the emotions and then it just makes a bigger problem. So I I heard a couple of things here I think a really important I want to kind of wrap this portion of the show with this and any comments that you have on this is that. By being present, we're in a better position to give honest feedback. One of the things that you were also talking about the emotions we have. So as a coach, you know, sometimes we have an emotion of fear. You know even fear that this client might leave if we're to honest with them. Right if we if we tell them the truth as best we see it, and so we have to simultaneously be aware that we might be afraid and yet we think it's in our clients. Best interests to say you know it sounds to me like fill in the blank, right it sounds to me like maybe this is what's going on which is inviting them to transform at a higher level inviting them because it's only through that honesty that I think real transformation can occur in a coaching relationship. Yeah you're absolutely right and by noticing our own emotions, we'll start to notice there's more as well and we can learn so much about our client by noticing their emotions and encouraging them to let those emotions happened talk about it just go with it not try to suppress it like I said earlier we're here with Bruce Langford he's an expert in mindfulness is one of the authors of the best selling book crack, the Success Code, and we've been having a really interesting discussion about how by being more mindful as a coach or mentor consultant. You can actually increase your bottom wine we'll be right back. What's the fastest way to reach your best prospects but a famous expert and put money in the bank by making a big impact? Well, you're listening to my podcast and that is the number. One best way to build your brand today. That's why I'm telling you about pod. Global Summit. It's coming on August tenth to Fifteenth Twenty Twenty. Now pod fast global summit is going to be the biggest most amazing podcast event in history and best of all not only is it all virtual but is a listener to the conscious millionaire show. A free ticket is waiting in your name, learn how to start, grow and monetize your own podcast all for free. That's right. Get your free ticket. Now go to pod Fest Expo Got Com. That's pod Fest Expo Dot Com. Again good a pod Fest Expo Dot Com. Welcome back. I'm your coach jv crumble third. Thank you for listening to conscious millionaire. You know I love to share the love here when a reach out and just give you a virtual hug and really congratulate you for showing up today at the conscious millionaire show because you showed up for yourself. Belief is you showed up because you ready to take another step forward. Maybe you're moving toward that hundred thousand quarter million or half moon or maybe you're finally at the place you're going, Hey, I wanNA crack through the seven figures whatever it is for you whatever that goal is. Here to help you take your next step forward to building you're coaching your mentoring, your consulting practice so that you can have a bigger positive impact out there in the world you can put bigger profits in the bank and you can get the life and lifestyle you want up next we've got the consciousness questions. You're with Bruce Langford, who is an expert in mindfulness, and he's one of the authors of the best selling book cracking the Success Code. Bruce. You're going to be taking a trip Tamar. You may not know that, but you have been selected to take that trip to Mars could be putting you in hibernation. So this is your opportunity to really think for a second here. What are the top three golden nuggets that if you could only tell these three things, this was kind of your legacy in the moment right now to other coaches and mentors and consultants. What would those three nuggets being? Those three nuggets, our number one habit realize that that is your friend understanding habits develop positive habits like a morning routine notice negative habits that you have in ditch them use that think about habits the second one, his activities have intentional activities on a day to day basis because as coaches you know we can get so caught up in coaching our clients and helping them in doing research and everything else that we forget that our bodies need activity we have to move. That's going to give us energy in. It's GonNa. Help US come up with the right answers the better answers the third one is meditation whatever form that will take for you. It can take many forms whether you're out for a jog every morning, and that's your meditation time or you're just sitting down and and giving your brain a break having meditation. So those three Golden Nuggets are habit activity and meditation. Those three things were really help you to be a successful coach. Well again, you're one of the authors of the best selling book cracking the Success Code. What's a book that you'd recommend for coaches and mentors and consultants that are listening today? You know I recently read this great book and so impressed with. So many of the awesome suggestions in it's called the prosperous coach and it's written by Steve Chandler and rich Litvan in the subtitle is increase income an impact for you and your clients, and you know as coaches, we always have to be looking at the bottom line. How do we increase income? How do we improve our business or we're actually generating a good amount of income? So that's a book that I would strongly recommend. It's great. Actually have that book, myself? You Know Bruce in my book, conscious Mooner Grow Your Business by making a difference I focus on what I call the new path to reaching your I know Ian and it combines doing what we coaches love making bat bigger positive impact, and then opening ourselves up to receive the big profits in return. What is that positive impact? You're always focused on getting with your customers Bruce. I'm always focus jv on an leaving them with specific exercises based on mindfulness, and as I get to know my clients and I just gradually kind of game more and more insight into who they are and their goals where they're heading what they want in their lives. I give them activities which are perfect for them based on on where they're going. So it's it's those specific. That my clients say have really helped them move forward. And you know what? If people are listening today and I know that could be those of you who are really resonating with Bruce you WANNA get in contact with him. What is the best way for them to reach you Bruce While you can you can check me out on my website, which is my podcast website mindfulness mode, dot com. You can email me bruce at mindfulness mode, DOT COM and I'm a on twitter at Bruce Langford as well. So those are a couple of ways you can connect with me, but you know you might be jogging might be listening to a radio version. He maybe watching the kids whatever it is that you're doing right now if. You don't have time to write everything down always remember that home central for you for the conscious millionaire show is conscious millionaire show dot com. You can go there you listen to any of our shows and just click on today's show with Bruce, Langford it'll take you to the show notes and the great thing about the show notes is we're going to have links to everything we've discussed including all the ways that you can get in touch with Bruce. And now, bruce it's time for the forty eight hour challenge. If you've got forty eight hours to identify and close a high paying client, what are the steps that you would take bruce? Well the first step is just to be present and as a mindfulness God I tell you that is such an important step you need to truly listen and be open to people in your space whoever they might be, and you might be surprised who appears if you're truly open to those people who are around you, it's it's surprising how often one of them ends up being your coaching client. So number two, you have to offer what you can do for them, and to do that, you have to be specific understand what? They need, and you'll understand what they need. If you've been present and you really are are tuned into that person, you want to give them a genuine taste of who you are a genuine amount of true value. So they can tell what you will be like as a coach and they will feel like, wow i. just got abundant value from this guy and I I just can't wait to move on and that's the third thing. Is You you deliver your very best to make sure you can give them the value so so you? You offer it to them and then you deliver it. You make sure that they receive the value in their identifying that that they're receiving true value from you and the fourth thing is that you have to be open for business. You have to make that space and let them let them ask you how they can get more how they can work with you and what I've. Found in my experience, not about pushing them not about closing them. It's about being yourself up offering what you can do until they say to you. Hey, bruce you know I'd really love to work with you. How do we make this happen and the fifth one is you have to be ready with the strategy. You have to have a structure there you you might say Jeez. I have a six month plan. That's how I operate and here's the price. Here's a structure. Here's what I offer. So so that's what you're going to. You're going to offer a specific strategy, use a specific structure to help them out, and that's that's was are the five steps that I would offer to a yeah I, think those are great. You might one review those you. Can Go to conscious millionaire show DOT com. You Bruce every one of us who's coach or mentor consultant. Eventually, we realize that it's only by tackling the big problems that we ever make headway that we get to our next level and from that perspective, what's the big problem or challenge right now you've decided to tackle in your business so that you can actually expand and grow. Right now I'm increasing the amount of outsourcing that I'm doing and I've always had help I've always realized that I need some you know people I need a team but I'm pumping it up I'm increasing the amount of outsourcing and you know that's a mindfulness piece as well because it's about letting go you know I've always been a person that likes to. Be In control of certain aspects of my business and and it's just not easy to have that trust and let go but I just made up my mind I'm going to outsource a lot more of what I do and then I'll end up doing what's really resonating with me what I'm really really good at and let other people do the rest of it So we're going to go back in time Bruce, who was a top mentor of Yours and what we eternally grateful that they taught you. Well I, I met this amazing coach at an event I went to and she ended up being my coach for two years and she was absolutely fantastic. Her name is Andrea Solider and she what she did. She truly helped me believe that I was a natural born coach because I think before that point I mean I was doing it but I just didn't that total confidence and that's what she did. She gave me that coaching confidence and she helped me generate a level of income that was way way way above what I had been APP previous. So it was a huge huge help. So. What's the legacy you WANNA leave Bruce? I WANNA. Leave a legacy that I've impacted ten million people to be peaceful respectful leaders. And I I do a lot of speaking and have done many many talks, presentations and trainings, and and my podcast reaches out to a lot of people and and that's my legacy that people can be peaceful respectful leaders and make a difference in this world. Is Her cause or nonprofit. You'd like to give a shout out to Bruce. I Love Save the Children Save the Children Dot Org date. Get right in there to disaster areas any any place that there's been any kind of natural disaster or? They get in there and they helped the children's specifically and that's something on very passionate about. I want to thank you again for listening to conscious millionaire. You are the entire reason that I do. This show is to bring you incredible guests like Bruce Langford and discussions on how you as a coach as a mentor as a consultant can rapidly grow your business so that you impact more people put more money in the bank and enjoy the life and lifestyle you want I always love. Hearing from you at conscious millionaire's show dot com top of the page you can always send me an email or a voice mail. Asked me any questions on coaching I'll be glad to answer them or just send your comments and I'll be glad to hear from you. I look forward to connecting with you on the next conscious millionaire. Bruce thank you so much for being are featured guest today. My pleasure JV. Thanks so much for inviting me here. What's the fastest way to reach your best prospects become famous expert and put money in the bank by making a big impact? Well, you're listening to my podcast and that is the number one best way to build your brand today. That's why I'm telling you about pod Fest Global. summit. It's coming on August tenth to Fifteenth, Twenty Twenty now podcast global summit is going to be the biggest most amazing podcast event in history and best of all not only is it all virtual but is a listener to the conscious millionaire show. A free ticket is waiting in your name, learn how to start, grow and monetize your own podcast all for free. That's right. Get your free ticket. Now, go to pod Fest Expo Dot Com. That's pod Fest Expo Dot Com. Again good a pod Fest Expo Dot Com. Listen to conscious million media podcast radio network, the host position owner the show distributors and broadcast media make claims that the strategies and information discussing show results in profits may result in losses. 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Learn To Let Go Of What No Longer Serves You

Mindfulness Mode

27:01 min | 3 weeks ago

Learn To Let Go Of What No Longer Serves You

"Mindfulness mode hey mindful tribe. Welcome to mindfulness mode in this episode. Six hundred and forty two. I'm bruce bruce langford host of mindfulness mode. And i'm so grateful to have you join me and as you probably know by now on mondays. I do an episode. That's just sharing thoughts and ideas about mindfulness. And what i've learned and how can help you and on thursday. I release an episode where i interview a guest. Who is someone that. uses mindfulness in their life. So you are probably well aware of that anyway. Today my topic is learning to let go of what no longer serves you and letting go is a big topic. It's a very important topic so today's topic about letting go. I think you're going to find it very valuable. Many of my coaching clients who have begun to learn about mindfulness. They soon realize that that they are holding on to things that are disrupting their flow. And they're holding on maybe to certain emotions or memories or certain beliefs and ideas. That are getting in their way and preventing them from moving on and achieving what they want in their life and so the big question always comes up. Yeah but how do i let go of these things. How do i let go. How do i do that. And in many cases these memories these emotions and beliefs are are just so much in the way of what my clients are trying to achieve their often preventing money from flowing into their lives sometimes. The beliefs are preventing unwanted pain from from leaving them preventing heartbreak and grief from flowing out of their space and grief can be all encompassing in. Its natural we need to go through that grieving process. If we've lost someone or something from our lives but there comes a point when of course we want to learn how to let it go at least let it go so that it's not interfering so of course it goes without saying that my clients are on a search very often on how to let go of all of these different emotions memories beliefs and these elements are often as you probably know called blocks. Sometimes they're called mind blocks or mental blocks some people refer to them as the repression of painful or on wanted thoughts and memories a client. I worked with back in twenty twenty. And i'll just call him cliff. He was so convinced that he was unable to earn income that he had just practically given up even trying. He just fully believed that there was something wrong with him that was causing him to push money away rather than attract wealth and he felt like he had tried and tried and tried practically everything in order to to you know attract wealth to his life and in fact it was cliffs belief that was pushing away the money they caused him to continue to to push those riches away and after a few sessions designed to change his mental blocks. He was down. Did at the change that started to happen in his life and it seemed like every time he talked to me yet. A new story of how unexpected payment had come into his account. Or how an investment it suddenly blossomed into a windfall. He was offered a new job out of the blue and a small unexpected inheritance came as way remember him telling me about that and so it was quite a life changing event for him as he went through the the coaching process. So today i'm going to talk about five different ways that you can let go of mind blocks like cliff had and the first one is slow down. We live in a life. Most of us of a very fast pace going going going going going. You know we jump out of bed and we have to do this and we have to do that. And we're pushing we're pushing we're pushing some of us. Have this belief that we've got to do more. We've always got to do more. We've got to fix things. We've gotta fix ourselves. We gotta make ourselves better and many times. The answer is in learning out a slow down learning how to just live in the moment. of course. that is mindfulness. But we don't always think of. Mindfulness is learning how to slow down and there are a number of ways to learn how to slow down for instance maybe consider working less hours at work or less overtime in. Maybe there's a way that you can kinda back off a little or maybe you're due for a change and you haven't had the courage to just really face that that you're just pushing yourself too hard and maybe that particular job is is not right for you because it's too hectic and you're being pushed too hard. Maybe that's it you can evaluate and decide what you can do to slow down another thing. Maybe you can do and and no matter where you are in life. You can probably do this more. You can outsource more and outsource. I mean if you're an entrepreneur. We understand that that means you know find finding somebody online finding a personal assistant finding somebody that can help you out. But maybe maybe that's not the case may be you you know. Maybe you work out of your home. Maybe you work for another company but there are often many ways we can outsource so if you work for a company. There's somebody else at that company. That can do some of the some of the work that you've been doing and i don't know if you're anything like me but there was a time when i felt like if i didn't do it it didn't get done right or sometimes i felt like if i didn't do it it didn't get done and so i kinda had this attitude that oh well i'll just do this. I'll do that. And i'll do it. And then i'll know it got done right and that's that's not easy to move from that place to a place where you're you're allowing other people to take responsibility and you're kind of letting go of that feeling. They're all my gosh. They're not gonna do it right now. Of course you. You do need to be confident that the person will be able to do it right so in other words. Maybe you have to train them. You have to lay out very clearly. What the steps are what the process is of whatever it is. You're trying to get them to do so. You can't expect people to do things if if they don't really know how they need to be done and what needs to be done so you do have to have a process but outsourcing. I mean even even if you're a mom at home maybe you can outsource certain things you know. Maybe you can you know Maybe you can take in some of your laundry to have it done by someone else or maybe maybe you can get you know your sister in law to help you with certain things i mean you will look at your life and think of ways that you can kind of. Lighten your load a bit. By outsourcing now the third thing is feed yourself with more of what fulfils you feed yourself with more of what fulfills you and that will help you slow down. So what did you love to do as a seven year old child. Did you love to paint or sing. Or maybe you dispense hours playing in the water playing in the lake or the river the ocean. You know maybe you rode your bike a law or maybe you you did. A lot of hiking is their creative element. You can reintroduce back into your life that has been missing for a long time now back. Maybe three years ago our family went on a two week vacation to newfoundland and newfoundland. You might know. It's a canadian province on the east coast. It's a huge island. It's one hundred and fifty thousand square miles so it's so it's really a huge island. Well they're in newfoundland. The pace is so much different than it is here and ontario where i live and i remember meeting a guy who lived there and he had never been off the island and hit his manner. His disposition is way of looking at the world. It was just all so different it was just a slower pace and and he had a calmness about him. He had a natural groundedness. It seemed a natural sense of mindfulness. That i think he'd been born into and it was very easy to notice that once you know once i started talking to him and interacting with them i cycle. That is just just amazing to have that natural sense of mindfulness so so the first thing is slow down. And i think we can all do that. We can all figure out some ways to slow down in the second one. Is scribe scribe and in how elrod book the miracle morning. I don't know if you've read it or not. But i highly recommend it. He talks about the practice of subscribing. Inscribing is an old fashioned term. For simply writing down your thoughts some people would call it journaling. Some people may be would call it something else but You know you can start writing and just include plenty of thoughts of gratitude ideas of where you currently see yourself right now in life and thoughts about where you're headed. What you want your life to look like talk about dreams and goals and desires now. This week i interviewed a woman who said she could not get through the day without journaling or scrubbing. She said it was just an innate part of her life she lives in india and even though she had a very demanding job she has. She has a lot on the go. She's a mother she's wife while she's still journals every morning and she said she can't wait to put pen to paper. She said there's something special about the ink on the page. She said it doesn't work. If you're just on a computer you know using a keyboard that way. That's her opinion. She says she loves the sensation of holding the pen and writing on the paper and having the ink flow onto the paper. She told me that she puts a lot of value. On the way that the pen feels and like i said the way the ink flows and she said she has a large collection of pens and and this collection of pans. It kind of makes journaling even more special for her. And she'll pick up a special pan and she said she just loves experiencing the way it feels in her hand as she writes the words on page. And the reason. I tell you this is because i think that making elements of journaling or scribe ing particularly meaningful. In this way it can have an impact on how much you enjoy it and how much benefit it will end up having for you and your life you know if you're fighting it all the way and you're thinking oh i hate this. I don't wanna spend this time. This is tough you know then. It's not probably going to be as effective as it will be. If you can just simply you know take a deep breath set aside the time and just allow yourself to have pleasure as your journaling are scrubbing because after all you deserve it. So number three is about moving your body move your body. There's something magical about combining body movement with thought. And i can tell you. Many great ideas of popped into my head during my trampoline sessions. I have a mini trampoline. And i find that just amazing things happen when i jump on my trampoline and and move my arms and big motions i. I moved them in opposite directions. My left arm. I'll move backward toward the back and my right arm forward sort of propeller more emotion and in my experience big arm movements connect to my thinking brain and some amazing ideas pop into my head and as i'm jumping just kind of gently jumping on the trampoline and moving my body i can just feel It's almost like i'm getting a massage. I almost feel like my neck and shoulders. Kind of loosening like almost little crackle sounds of the m- the muscles or bones just loosening and relaxing and it's just a fantastic sensation. I highly recommended it. Just it just feels amazing and it does seem to connect directly to my brain as i do this and so many incredible thoughts have actually come up and and Just just popped into my head. As i'm doing this now. I mentioned last week. That i've set aside an hour each morning to run and i do this before i start my work day. And that's become a really important part of my regular routine and it just really feels amazing. I mean some days. It's not as easy as other days. I i'm not gonna say this is like the easiest thing in the world but i just look forward to it and it does seem to be really helping me with letting go of things that i want to let go of and believe i need to let go of in my life and what i do as i'm running is a type of personal running meditation and it's actually self hypnosis and it helps me clear my mind and like i said some incredible thoughts ideas come to me as a result. This form of self hypnosis is called seventh path self hypnosis and i am going to be teaching this method. I haven't decided when. I will begin that but i am going to be teaching seventh path self hypnosis and i highly recommend it i just i just absolutely love it so stay tuned for the details on that number four now number four. Is you know kind of related. Number four is meditate. And you probably know this already. I've been a meditative for around eight years. And as i already mentioned one of the ways i meditate as a running meditation. I also do silent. Meditation and i feel like this is made a big difference in my life. I certainly continued in all to do it. You know years ago. When i was first starting to meditate i kind of made up my mind okay. I'm going to give this a try. And i'm going to do it every day for a certain period of time and i'm just not going to be Tied to you know results in one week or two weeks or something. I'm just going to relax and and give it a chance. And so this type of meditation has really made a big difference for me. And i've learned to let go of a lot of emotions and memories and beliefs that were holding me back just by using meditation and when i say that when i say i've been able to let go of them it doesn't mean i've removed them from my memory. It means i was able to identify them and then reevaluate. The i thought about those events and therefore they no longer kinda sat there. Kind of festering. You know what i mean. And i was able to think differently. About what the event meant to be to me and how. It sat in my mind so for two years. My meditation was usually in the form of a guided meditation. That was way back. When i when i started meditating. I often did guided meditations. And sometimes i listened to my own. Personalized guided meditations. And and. sometimes. I listened to meditations that i downloaded from the internet. I use an app called insight timer and if you listen to my show law. You're you probably know that lots of my guests recommend insight timer as well. it's i n. S. i g. h. T. insight timer. I've listened to a lot of meditations there and also recorded meditations there and insight timer. So if you search my name you'll find them so that's another way. And of course silent. Meditation is is very valuable. I really enjoy that. But if you're early on the path of meditating you might wanna try guided meditations at this point number five create personal affirmations and you can find lots of affirmations online and you can adapt them for your personal use so getting suggestions from people who have meditated for years. They've studied mindfulness for years. Some of these People that you will find online will help you create meaningful and positive meditations for yourself meaningful in positive affirmations and like i said you can adapt them using terminology that you relate to and you can refer to your own goals in your own desires and use the kind of languaging that is positive and will lead you in the right direction. Maybe you want to live a life of contentment. Maybe wanna be more grounded or more sensitive to others whatever it is. Include some of these ideas in your affirmations and then record them on your phone now. There are lots of apps you can use to listen back to your affirmations. One of those apps is called n so it's e. n. s. o. So you can check that app out. I've found that it's excellent. I don't use it all the time. But i find it's very valuable. It has great reviews and end so is marketed as a sleek and elegant meditation timer and bell. and when i say meditation. There's kind of a a fine line between meditations guided meditations affirmations. So you can put your own affirmations into them and create meditations and it's designed to enhance your meditation and mindfulness experience. And i'm just reading here some more about what ends so is marketed at its minimal feature sat and design. Allow you to focus on what matters the most. You're mindfulness experience without getting in your way. And this is what some people have said about it. They said for a distraction. Free meditation experience. That lets you customize intervals and timers. You want end. So so yeah. So it's kinda cool. Some of the things that you can do to customize the space between each thing that you're saying and the timing and you can put background sounds on. somebody said. This is the best meditation app. I've ever used by far. It has just enough features but isn't cluttered excited to meditate again. Thanks for making such a great app. Now i'm not I'm not getting you know paid to suggest this app. But i just am suggesting it because i've used it and i do believe in it and i think it's it's a positive thing for you to check out so there are five ways to let go of what no longer serves you so just to reiterate number one slowdown slowdown in your life. The best he can number two describe or journal make it a habit. Make it something that is part of your life that you enjoy and you will start to benefit from that number three. Move your body. Move your body on a daily basis and number four meditate. Something that i think is just so valuable. So important. And there are so many different ways to meditate. So you know if you try one way. Don't give up and think. Oh you know that didn't work for me. So guess i can't meditate. I think you can meditate. I think everyone can. It's just that sometimes you have to find what works for you and number five create personal affirmations and that's kind of connected to meditating but creating personal affirmations means that anytime during the day you can you know maybe you notice a negative thought running through your mind. Or maybe you're standing in the the line at the bank or the grocery store or something and you're you're standing there and then for second using this is perfect time for me to be thinking about my affirmations and So you know just give that a chance because affirmations can be a really uplifting part of your day now. The last time i talked to cliff he reminded me how much is life had changed for the better because he had learned to let go of mind. Blocks were holding him back. Are you able to identify any blocks that are in your way and keeping you from moving toward the life you want and deserve and if the answer is no then i think you will start to discover them when you start to scribe or journal. I think you really will. Or maybe when you're doing some of these other activities meditating or Moving your body and all these different things. If you're anything like cliff the first step is to come to terms with the problem and reach out for help. You might want to do some soul searching to become clear on where you currently are and where you wanna go and once you gain clarity on the blocks that are preventing you from moving. Forward like cliff called them. Serendipitous moments and events. They started to happen in his life. So whether you think it serendipity or it's being connected to the universe or it's being in the flow or maybe it's in your mind maybe for you it's part of your religious beliefs or the bottom line is that almost all of us are searching for the key to letting go so that we can make room for a better life so thanks so much for listening to mindfulness mode today. And i'd love to hear your feedback and if you would like to if you'd like to tackle some of those mind blocks and you feel you need a little bit of help. I'm here for you. And i can help you through hypnosis because i am trained hypnotist and i would love to help you with my coaching and hypnosis and so just Send me an email. Bruce at mindfulness mode dot com will set up a free session. Where we just talk about whether this is right for you. Talk about whether i can help you and how how it might be a fit for you. There's no pressure whatsoever but You can definitely sat up a time for us to talk. And i'd also love to hear from you. Love feedback and So just send me an email. Bruce at mindfulness mode dot com and and give me some feedback. And if you if you do want to work with me just put this into the subject line. Why don't you put in the subject. Line Letting go and then i'll know that you listen to this episode letting go because it so important to learn how to let go so like i said. Thanks so much for listening today and i wish you the very best on your journey of mindfulness and learning to let go pay mindful tried. Thanks for listening for subscribing for reviewing the show on apple podcasts. And thanks to erica. Flint's cascade hypnosis center for being are valued sponsor erica. We really appreciate. You and erica is a terrific teacher of hypnosis and i know that because i am a graduate of her program. Now if you're a healer or a coach or counselor or someone who just loves helping people consider. The powerful results can be achieved with hypnosis. You can become a hypnotist. Just like i did. Contact the team over at cascade. Hypnosis center dot com and if you'd like to work with me and break through some of those mind blocks maybe lose weight may be quit smoking. Maybe it's something else. I would be so thrilled to work with you. Don't put it off do it right now. Send me an email. Bruce at mindfulness mode dot com. That's bruce at mindfulness mode dot com and we will get you on track and we will help to move toward the goals you wanted to achieve so now take what we've learned today to reach new heights of calm focus and happiness stay in the mode.

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429 You Are Loved; Heart-Centered Confidence Coach, Kim O'Neill

Mindfulness Mode

40:45 min | 2 years ago

429 You Are Loved; Heart-Centered Confidence Coach, Kim O'Neill

"The mindfulness mode four hundred twenty nine none of us are our sexuality. However, I think can also understand that, that is a key components to just who we are reach new heights of calm focus in happiness. Right ear and today's mindfulness mode with me, your host and mindfulness life. Coach Bruce Langford, thanks always, for being a listener, and an awesome, mindful tribe member. Do you ever have trouble falling asleep, or you wish you could sleep more soundly, I have a sleep meditation that I've recorded and you can get this sleep meditation for free? And you know what it is such a stress, if you're not sleeping. Well, or if you have trouble falling asleep, I've been there, I've had those nights when my mind didn't shut off with this meditation, that, I've recorded, it will help you fall. Asleep, and I've had so much positive feedback that people have said you have, Bruce, it really works. It's helped me immensely, so you can download this free audio recording at mindfulness mode dot com slash sleep. I've been telling you lately about the work. We're doing here to set up a group for you a group where you can learn more about mindfulness, and you can download some of my favorite tools to help with some challenges. There will be free meditations there, they'll be way to interact with other people who are who are working on improving their mindfulness levels, and I'm very excited about it. We've made some really exciting progress on the last two days, I'd love to tell you all about it, but I promised to hold off until the launch work is completely ready. So stay tuned. And I'll tell you about it and the upcoming episodes. Today. Speaking of episodes, today, I'm talking with a warm heart center woman, who's helped hundreds and hundreds of people move forward in their lives. She is truly a jam. And telling you sit back relax and enjoy my talk today with Kim O'neil. Hey, mindful tribe. I have Kim O'neil here, and she is such a great pleasure to have on the show. He Kim, are you in mindfulness mode today. I am and I'm excited to be mindless mode. I'm so excited to have you here on this show. I was on Kim's show recently. And that was a lot of fun. It was really exciting. Kim is such a great mindfulness advocate. And I want to share a little bit about you Kim with mindful tribe. Kim O'Neill is an empowerment an interview confidence coach for heart centered professionals. She hosts the podcast. Called every day is a new day. And it is so refreshing, you gotta check out that show. She's also a bestselling author of two books and just recently or second book, you are loved came out, its subtitle is an inspired meditative visual journey, and it is a beautiful book with beautiful pictures. I do not have one in my hand right now but I would love to and we're going to be talking about the book. Now, Kim is an inspirational speaker and she reminds audiences when she's on the stage about the importance of knowing who you are the informational value of your emotions, and how to move forward, when you're not sure, how to do it more self love confidence, and bravery are just some of the results that our clients achieve so so Kim, what does mindfulness mean to you? My answer today is different than what used to be. So my answer today is that mindfulness is about being present. It's about being present with my thoughts with my being and it's easy. It's in a relaxed state of allowing an observing, what I used to believe is that used to believe it was more of a force thing. Oh, I have to be our have to be aware of my thoughts, and I have to control them, and it was this, this more rigid forced activity that I thought you engage them. And I've learned it's notch. It's you don't have we don't have to be so hard on ourselves and mindfulness is a great way to actually start to integrate more ease into our thought processes. So that's my take on it. But the interesting, you say that because I think is adults. We over think so many things I was just with a group of little children yesterday. Teaching mind. Coldness and with them, it just comes naturally, you know it it's just so easy. I say think of one word and they think of one word and it's a random word, you know, a bus driver, you know, or whatever, and I'm like, well, that's not really one word. But, but that's okay. That's what you know, they just think in such simple terms and that makes mindfulness easy for them. Yeah. I think that's a great example. And I love Dorothy do is kids, I as kids things are so much simpler. We allow ourselves to be in that state of flow. And to go with wherever the energy or even the emotions Shaka's rights, and as adults, we start your learn. Oh, will I, I have the ability to control some of this, and actually that might serve in some ways. But I think we can actually start to find ourselves on the other end of the spectrum at some point where we're too controlling and that can also do us a disservice. And so it's, it's really helpful to get back to this place of becoming more mindful and. Allowing ourselves to be in a state of ease in a what is what is it like to experience this spot or vis emotion? And, and it's okay if that happened. Okay. I can just observe that, and it doesn't have to be anything wrong with that. And. It's true. It's absolutely true. And, you know, one thing I wanted to ask you is about your clients. I know you've worked with a lot of clients, and if a client comes to you, and they say, you know, Kim, I just feel stuck, you know, I've, I've been places where achieved and I've -ccomplish a lot of great things. But lately, things haven't been happening. What do you do? What's your first step to take them to that point where they feel like they're moving forward again with momentum? That's such a great question. I, I think that it's always about where the client is in that moment. So for people who have had success before, and now, they're in a space of feeling stuck and like they, they can't move forward. I think of it as like unraveling, a necklace that has all Changle up just start with where we right now. Just start with the present moment. What's in front of us take a look at that? And just like with the necklace you start to find. Okay. Here's the first little little not we can start. To lift this up in a look as we take a look at this one area. Or here's the next little piece that we can. Okay, let's ship that a little bit. And then what, what do we find next up? So it's not about it's not about, you know, eating the whole cake at once. Right. It's bite sized chunks. One step at a time and knowing that by just taking that one step at a time. The next step is going to reveal itself. It always does. So there's a level of trust that starts to play into it and being with a coach is a great way to be able to allow yourself to relax into a state of trust. You don't have to do this on your own. So that's, that's my approach is starting with where we are and taking it in bite size steps. Right. And what do you do when you when you talk about something with, with your client, and they're like, oh, yeah, we're going to leave this, and this, and this by the next call, and then you get to the next call, and they really have. Achieved. Those, those things I think that's a great question. I think when we have been in that space of being so focused on the challenge of problem, the issue we don't realize what successes and new off hours. We may have also had, but we just got so used to disregarding them. So I take them through let's reflect back on, on what happened, and I'm able to easily pinpoint overlook right there. Look at that. You had a success right there, or, you know, or oh, you know, whatever new thing happened in their lives able to point out that something did shifts that they have just been oblivious to that. They've just ignored and it's you know, I had I had one client recently, I've been doing these ninety minutes limiting beliefs coaching sessions. Most of my, my coaching packages are three months or longer. But I've been having some really great success with these limiting beliefs sessions, and I one client who she really wanted to work on her. Beliefs around love and being able to be in a relationship errand feel safe, insecure and, and being able to love and trust someone else again and we kept kind of coming at it from different angles and shoot. It wasn't really getting there. And finally it occurred to her. Oh my goodness. The answers have been there all along. She is for her. She's an impact. And so she feels emotions and energy around her very deeply, and that can also start to make us think that when we're picking up on other energies and, and Stotts around us that they're all hours. That's not necessarily the case. And so I was able to help her start to separate from some of that see what's hers. What's not? And then also identify that. Oh my goodness. Her heart, which she thought was something that was made her week was actually her greatest asset her greatest strength and has actually been protecting and guiding her all throughout her journey. And she just didn't realize it. So it's really being able to pinpoint what's been happening, and highlight the parts that can be so easy for us to overlook because maybe we're maybe we're picking up on beliefs that other people have, and claiming them as ours, and it's, it's, it's really helpful to become clear on what is your truth. And what is not? So that's you know, that's one of the things that I really hope my clients do is decide, you know what is theirs? What's not? And, you know, one, you want to claim what do you want to create new moving forward? So Kim, what do you think is your greatest strength as a coach, who? I love that. Okay. So I would say that the non judgment piece it is so important to feel safe in a coaching session, and, you know. Coaches are people, too. I'm a person to I've had my own deep darkest moments and thoughts and I know how, how challenging and isolating it can feel to be in that space and to be working your way out of it. And in order to work, your way out of it with a coach because coach is going to help you to be able to get there quicker. It's imperative to know that you can be free ensure whatever thoughts you have to not have to feel that you have to restrict in control your thoughts while you're in the session with someone who's supposed to also help you right. You want to know that this is your ally. This is your advocates, and anything you share in this session is safe. It's okay. It's not going to be shared anywhere else. Absolutely by no means. And. You know, not to have a judging about it. I think it's so easy to think that we are our thoughts. I know this has been said many times, we are not our thoughts, but it can be easy to believe that we are. So it's important to start to realize, we actually do have a choice in what we believe and by separating ourselves from our thoughts and taking that observer stance and realizing okay, wait. Do I do. I like this not is this, my truth or not, and being able to feel safe about doing that with a coach sharing. Whatever those, those thoughts are that may freak us out. And then go wait a second. Let's just observe this together. I'm you know, it's, I think that's my greatest asset was with a client is really being able to be there side by side with them and say, it's okay we're gonna do this together. You don't have to be on this journey alone to what does your ideal client. Look like who? Is that person? So is they heart centered professionals, because it really encompasses the variety of clients that I work with hurts him it professionals to manure, anybody who puts their heart into who they are and into what they do so that I can look like a teacher a social worker. It can Rick like another someone else who's involved in personal development. So a coach a therapist and energy healer. But it's also it's also, you know, the heart center police officer by say that coming from, you know, used to work in a police department and I was able to see first hand how many people you might perceive army outside of has having this hard exterior, actually are incredibly heart centered and it's, it's from their past experiences that the even got into that who are role in the first place. And so is when he buddy, who comes from that place on the inside and they're learning to bridge that gap between their head and their heart. Learning to actually acknowledge them value of their emotions and are ready to stop. Denying them realize the strength and the assets that their heart brings to who they are. And how they connect with the world. So. Those are my clients. I've also about people who are in the process of learning to embrace more of who they are, which often has a link back to our heart emotions, but people who might be in this space of, of ident- of deciding, you know. Who am I and a lot of times I find those are people who are in the process of accepting their sexuality and. They may not feel safe or accepted by those around them. So those are some of my favorite clients, because I I love helping them. See how no they're actually perfect the way that they are and to help shine a light on their strengths and the gifts that they bring to the world by being who they are not by trying to conform and shifts and shape. Theirselves selves into. And you something that they think they're supposed to be your something that other people have told them they're supposed to be, I think these days, there is so much focus on gender sexuality. You know, people are starting to realize, I don't have to be trapped believing that I am a person that I don't feel like I am. I know the my son's in high school and, and a couple of times he's talked about some people that are struggling and I'll say, oh, yeah, I know that girl, and he said, well, she's gender fluid, and they have these kinds of terms that, I you know, in previous years was not familiar with do you see yourself as someone who can really help someone who has these kind of identity crises. I, I do. I absolutely do. And I used to question, you know, we'll do I have to have the same sexuality writer has to have experienced that steam exact situation as them. No, I do not. I. Simply we simply just, you know any connection. So here's the thing. So anyone who's dealing with any form of self acceptance it doesn't matter what the context is. I know I've dealt with that in my own goal deciding to leave a, you know, a stable, career as a crime analyst, and pursue my dream of being a coach and being more public with my podcast dozing. I mean, that was a huge contrast and really took me through my own journey of self acceptance. So it's not about the context of what led you there necessarily, it's about have you had your own journey of the underlying feelings, and emotions that you experienced on the journey, you know of self except for yourself. So, and that's just one of my stories. So that's my answer to that. But may I share with you a personal story that course I also linked? Yeah. So thank you, so something that was was. Really upsetting. Jeremy was about five six years ago two weeks after my uncle died. I found out that a few weeks before he died. He started telling the Ameri that he was gay started, and it was only a select skater family members and friends Aaron, I couldn't believe that my sixty three year olds on wall, didn't feel safe until just before he was about, to die to start to share something that was so critical in key to who he is. And there's a key piece of information that I realize left out he pretty much lived his entire life as, as a bum as a transient. So my Fifty-three-year-old bungle didn't feel safe his entire life to share who he was at the core. Until it was time for him to transition over and leave Aaron's. You are. None of us are sexuality. However, I think we can also understand that that is a key components to just who we are. You know it's not something we question. It's just something we feel about ourselves and fills ride or doesn't feel right? And even if someone's in a space of still trying to figure that out. That's okay. But it's something that's so conversational to who we are not to feel that you can't even share something like that may think how many conversations you might have with people about relationships in general. Right. So if if you know if you're heterosexual, how many relationships you have with people that, like, oh, yeah, you know, men, this or women that are, you know, this is my experience. And if you don't even feel the safes to have those kinds of conversations and be able to share your personal experiences. Wow. How many how many connections are we cutting ourselves off from with other people? From something as basic as that. So. I, I just I, I, I don't want anyone feeling that they can't share who they are at the core of who the are because of fear from wherever it may come from. I don't know where my uncle's fear came from. But I, I did witness the life choices that he took. And the fact that he, he was repeatedly Austin, help through friends and family to not be living, a transient lifestyle and to see that he repeatedly went back to that. And he was intelligent guy, who's intelligent creatives witty funny person. And. So, you know, the, the links to me seem quite obvious. And if I can prevent anyone else from feeling like they have to make choices that, that don't allow them to be their greatest cells, and to, to feel safe in who they are, then I you know, I'm grateful for that opportunity Kim. That's a very poignant story. Thanks for sharing that with us. Now, any one of you who have have seen Kim's new book will know how passionate she is about mindfulness. It just comes right across and it's a beautiful book. I do not have it here in my hands. But the book is called you are loved. Why did you decide on those three words for the title of your book? That's a great question. Thank you for asking it. So I will say that initially it really was about me, you know, tapping into what's the message that, what's the message that wants to be delivered. At this time through this book and through these photos. What is that message? And that was you are loved. We actually initially title at self love, and then we decided to shift up and make it more direct and personal to the reader that messages, truecar everybody you are loved, and, of course, as time went on, and I got deeper into the book, I realized this, in many ways, was a message that I would love to give my uncle that he is loved. And it's also message that I give to myself from when I was a kid and struggling with negative self talk when I was a teenager more so and learning to overcome that myself that's a whole journey. I went through, but it's for everybody we get so used to observing the world through our eyes and thinking that what we see out there is the only reality, and it's really about going back in word and going, wait a second. No, no, no. What's what's true for me on the inside? And then how can I reflect that outwardly as start to create more of that? So it stems from connecting back to the true, who we are, which is that we are loved. And we are loved, and really knowing that embracing it would you share a pager to with us? Now. I know many of you are listening to the audio only version of this, so we can tell you a little bit about what we see. But I know him that you've teamed up with a photographer and you have incredible photos. Tell us about it and, and just share a little bit with us. Absolutely. So the book is called, you are loved and inspired meditative visual journey Ambi photography is done by Liz car. It's her original images of the Florida Keys specifically key west, and she's also coaches well, and yes paired with a guided meditation. I wrote specifically for these images, this wasn't just slapped together. Let's use them photos. Let's use together meditation. Wrote a long time ago. Kinda stick them together. Now, a lot of time and, and intention when into houses but was put together for a unique experience for the reader. So the very first page, I will use I will show you because I know it relates to some of what you talk about. Take a moment and debris. Absolutely. Yes. And then we go right into breathe in this moment. And I don't want the microphone to be blocked so I put the book down, but it's about really having an experience with the book about allowing yourself to take in the words take the visuals and to just go in word and. And you'll send your she'll grounded during number who you are. And the visuals are incredible. The photographs are just absolutely stunning. Did it take a long time to choose what photographs you would put into the book? Oh my goodness. Yes. Bruce, so. Yes. Liz photos are absolutely stunning. That is the word I liked us as well. And of course like any first she has a ton of photos. So when we were doing this, this project, which really was in inspired projects to begin with. We weren't really sure where we were going to take it next. We were sifting through all her photos. What are the phones we wanna use in this book, which, you know, and she had so many so yes, it took a long time and a lot of shipping around. But one extra we never deviated from or change at all is the cover photo, which I absolutely love is gorgeous orange with palm trees, and you've really got a rainbow of colors, and this, this cover so beautiful, where did you meet, Liz? We actually attended the same coaching academy. I've, I've done a few difference, coach certification programs. And one of them was the quantum success coaching academy. So she and I are both certified law attraction coaches, and we're also about. Certified Rakia master practitioners. So we've got that whole energy healing, as well as being mindful awareness aware of your thoughts and how to manifest in create. So we were coming from that place together in combined are additional talents. Do you remember the first time you ever heard of the law of attraction? Well, gosh, so threw me it goes back to right around two thousand six the book this secret. Yes. Yes, felt yeah. That was my first. Taste of the lava, traction, and I just remember I could not get enough of it Reuss. I. So I, I saw the movie, and then I learned there was a book in read the book, and then I watched the movie again, and then I got my boyfriend at the time into it, and he was a little more religious than he found her movie there was like the lobby attraction for Christians, something like that. So then he no got it's about version. And I just I I just like I couldn't get enough of it. And of course, it wasn't until years later that I even realize, oh, I can take this further and, and really absorb and learn of the heritage and it's so much more than just you know what you think you're what you see. There's there's, there's so much more to it. But I, I love love attraction. And as you look back at your own life. Can you see where the law of attraction has played a part? Absolutely. It's always playing a apart. So it's not just about it's, it's not only happening. When we're manifesting something desired, it's happening, even when we're manifesting those things we don't desire. And that's what's, so she about really knowing that we do have the ability to shift our thoughts. If we'd been in a space of an negative self talk and for so long that we've developed a certain momentum we may think that this is all there is. And then our reality than starts to reflect that back to us. It's simply because there's a momentum built up there. And if we just simply choose to say, okay, you know, I want to shift this momentum. I'm gonna just choose right now to become more aware of my thoughts. I may not know how to have positive self talk that may that may not make any sense to me. But I would like to experience something different and then just start you have that awareness and those moments when oh, wait, I just did it again. I just went on a whole long, you know, long diatribe in my own head of like beating myself up being my own worst bully. And okay. Yeah. I don't wanna do that anymore. And when I started this is what it was. It was okay. I don't wanna do this anymore. This is awful, I've got to stop doing this. And having these moments of OH did it again. Oh, we just did get and the more I allowed I stayed with the intention of wanting to ship that I was able to shorten that amount of time that it took to identifying in the moment. Oh I'm doing it right now. Okay. Oh, I was just about to do it. Okay. No, no. Choose different thought right now. And then, then actually before he even gets the space of the negative self talk, then, oh, I wouldn't choose a positive that so that the way that this all links to lob attraction manifestation is because. We, we aren't our thoughts, but we have the ability to start seeing manifest. What were thinking any thought we think over time becomes a belief? And once you believe something your chances of manifesting, that belief are so much greater so bats. Why mindfulness is so key to being able to shift our reality in the direction of what we actually desire, and what are some of the real tools, you use for mindfulness in your life? I know meditation as one of them but I'd love you to tell us more about what you do in your life at related to mindfulness. Well breathing that is one of them breathing. Also just taking time to go OJ the observe, my surroundings, this, this is where I am in this present moment. Placing my, my hand on my, my heart and my stomach and connecting with my body. I used to not understand what that meant of be present in your. Body. Just taking a moment to be you'll feel your body underneath your hands can go. Oh, yeah. That's right. I kinda was somewhere else just now wasn't I and, and bringing ourselves back into our body, grounding our energy and being connected in that way. That's a great way to, to become more, mindful. I sure as when you were a young child where you a dreamer. I was a dreamer in the sense that. I always felt a sense of something greater and I always felt a sense of purpose ever since I was a kid and some dreamer in that sense. But I was also someone who, who did get caught up in my head a lot. I'm I'm, I'm a libra. I'm an air sign, and I, I've, I've spent some time learning about that because I'm like, okay. That, that helps me so, you know, these air signs, we can be really good in, in, in our thoughts, but we can also get caught up. So I experienced a lot of that when I was a teenager in that was that's where my journey began on being able to shift thoughts right while it's fascinating to hear all about, you have a fantastic podcast called every day is a new day. Where did you come up with a name for that? You know that was not the first title. So it used to be titled perk up with Kim. And eventually, I realized everyday is a new day really embodies that essence of knowing that we can experience, a new day, that whatever momentum we have created so far, we can choose to shift that. And there's always hope we aren't alone and Everyday's is a new day really just encompassed that, that essence for me. And I also have this thing with with trees and seeing sunshine and bright, uplifting images. And so, to me Everyday's, a new day, also in bodies that, while it's very refreshing podcast to listen to, and I love how you share so much of your viewpoints in your thoughts and ideas, and it's very generous of you to share so much because it's a real learning experience when I tune into your podcast. Thank you. Bruce. I really appreciate that. I have this year started to do something a little new where I incorporate more. So low episodes of. Sharing my thoughts. You know, it's important to me when I'm interviewing someone I really wanna make sure to be able to tell their story allow them the space to tell their story. But I've also learned as a podcast host and, and, you know, maybe you can identify with some of this is that it's a two way conversation and it's not right. It's yeah, it's, it's not just a one sided a one sided conversation. It's a two sided conversation. We're gonna have a conversation. It's got to be two people. So it's, you know, that's when I started to learn okay. You not yell. Let's, let's infuse some of my learnings awareness here too, because this is both of us. So anybody out there, who's thinking of podcast hosting. It's totally okay. Do that. I used to think that it wasn't for while, but I, I, I enjoy the process myself as a host by doing that as well. So Kim were you ever bullied in your life? Do you have a story, you can share with us about bullying? I will I say that. I have been my biggest bully. So that's alternately what I think of when I think of bullying the own negative self talk. Oh, gosh. Pattern that I used to have for myself that really doesn't make sense where it came from, but that's first and foremost. So I've learned to no one can be a bigger belief to me than myself, but Secondly, yes, there were a couple of instances as a kid, where someone was bullying me and. Very scary, as very unsettling. There was a fourth grade, where there was this guy, he was a big guy, and was also in fourth grade was a big fourth grader, and he used to he used to name call. I think he threw gum in my hair ones in the makes down like simple things. But it doesn't it doesn't take a lot for fourth grader. That's, that's a big deal. And I remember the school officials teachers coming back and saying, oh, he just has a crush on you. He just likes you. It's like okay, we'll maybe maybe that's true, but I still don't deserve to have all those the name calling, or the, the gum throwing it's, it's can be very damaging to, to experience the link but also know that the people who were there to help, protect you are actually really doing anything about it. So that's one instance, there was another instance later as a teenager, where there was this girl. I don't remember the details. But again, it was someone that was physically much larger. Than me, and she was getting up in my face yelling at me. I think had something to do with. She was actually bullying someone else, and I was trying to stand up for that other person. So then she started targeting me, and it's an incredibly unsettling experience physically in your body where you can start to lose focus on what you even saying, you know, like what do I do fighter flights? You know what, what's going on in this moment? And even if it's just happening for a matter of seconds. So that's nothing. I helped my clients with is really being able to practice being more grounded and centered in your body, regardless of whatever chaos. Or, you know, whatever is happening around you knowing that you can remain in your power, and stay centered and focused, regardless, how however other people choose to be around you. Right. Well, you know, it's great to have the mindfulness mind. Thatta understand how to deal with some of this stuff. And it sounds like you know, you've really helped quite a number of people with this as well. I believe, so. Absolutely. Yes. So yeah, my. The whole grounding centering piece tends to play a large role with my clients and being able to connect back to who they are to remember how awesome they are actually allow themselves to own their strengths own their greatness. I feel like that is so pivotal to being able to step back into a space of confidence. You have to know we are asked to allow yourself to own that, and then be that, so so that's something I helped my clients with a lot. No, that's great Kim's. We move forward in the interview, I want to ask you five quick answer questions. That's okay. The first one is this who is one person who influenced mindfulness in your life. Okay, just one person. I'm going to say Oprah. I feel like that's such a. Everyone probably does that. But Oprah she's inspiring. There are no limits. And, and I, I just I love who she has has role model how his mindfulness affected your emotions. It supports me in allowing me to feel my emotions. So I know a lot of other people. They talk about mindfulness being able to help control their emotions. I was already really good at that. So I was on the other end of the spectrum, where I needed to actually loosen the reins and start to allow myself to feel my emotions knowing that, I'm also not my emotions and to be more mindful of a one. Am I trying to prevent or block my emotions because when I'm doing that then I'm restricting flow in my life. We've talked about breathing a little bit. But can you sum up, how breathing is part of your mindfulness practice? It's the beginning of what idea it's the beginning of any meditation session that ideal. And it's also something that I do throughout my days, when I'm not saying that maybe I'm getting carried away. Overwhelms. I can just stop. And I start to take a handful of slow deep breaths and that helps me you know, recenter no I highly recommend your book. You are loved it gets. It's a beautiful book, beautiful inspiring book, but are there any other books, you would recommend that are related to mindfulness? Yes. So taming your gremlin by Rick Carson. I am loving this book. I be honest. I actually just started reading it myself, but it's, it's amazing. And it's fantastic for being coming, more mindful, but also stepping away from self sabotage. Very good. I'll put that in our show notes at mindfulness mode dot com. So you can check all this out and one last question in that is do you recommend an app of any kind that can help with mindfulness? I love insight timer. So it's the great meditation out. Of course it has more than just meditations on there. But I have a meditation on there as well called get grounded and regain inner peace anyone can just go there and listen to you. And it's fantastic app. Get grounded regain inner peace, so go to insight timer and check that out. It's I N S I G H T insight timer. I use it to. It's a great, great app. So Kim, that's fantastic. And where can we find you? Where can we connect with you Kim? So they can go people can go to my website. Kim O'neil coaching dot com and O'Neill as oh. N E, I L, but of course, I'm also on social media, so on Facebook. It's at Kim O'neil coaching, and it's titled the Everyday's a new day show and coaching page. I'm also on Instagram at everyday is a new day show and I look forward to connecting with people. So if you you connect with on social media, please reach out, and let me know that you heard me on, on mindfulness mode podcasts. Absolutely. And it's Kim O'neil coaching dot com and it's O'neil with two L's. So check it out. Check out her beautiful website and get over there. So Kim, thank you so much for being on mindfulness mode today. Thank you, Bruce, I love who you are, and your show, and this is such an honor. So thank you for this opportunity. Thank you, bye. Now. Thanks so much for joining us today on mindfulness mode for show notes for every episode checkout mindfulness mode dot com and tight, the guest's name or the episode number into the search bar. You can also go mindfulness mode dot com slash whatever. Episode number. You like if you've enjoyed this podcast, you could help us out by subscribing to mindfulness mode, wherever you listen, whether it's on I tunes or Stitcher, Google play Spotify, so many places you can hear mindfulness mode so hit subscribe, and share because that truly helps our show and remember what I mentioned at the top of the show, this sleep naturally. Guided meditation that I have for you just for mindful tribe, members, it's to help you receive the deep easy sleep that you deserve sleep. Nah. Naturally, and you'll be able to fall asleep easily get more work done tomorrow and feel better about it. Rest comfortably without effort. Go to mindfulness mode dot com slash sleep for your free. Download so remember subscribing and sharing helps keep mindfulness mode on the air till next time. Mindful tribe us what we've learned today to reach new heights of calm, focus, and happiness. Stay in the mode.

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397 Essential Laws For Quantum Success With Christy Whitman

Mindfulness Mode

35:05 min | 2 years ago

397 Essential Laws For Quantum Success With Christy Whitman

"Mindfulness mode three hundred ninety seven all the programming. We've been all developed and all that development and conditioning has literally let us become who we are today. Reach new heights of calm, focus and happiness here on today's mindfulness mode with me your host and mindfulness life coach Bruce Langford. Hey, mindful tribe, keep the emails coming. I've been sending out mindfulness mod t shirts to some of you who sent me letters about your father, and how mindfulness has been a positive influence in your life. And since my dad died earlier this month, I've been remembering how much he loved watching the sky watching the sunset even bought a house which had west windows in a clear view to the west. So he could watch the sunset every evening now, he was a farmer and he had great skill in predicting the weather by looking at the sky at the sun the moon, and I admired that a lot. So I think of my dad whenever I look at the sky, send me a story about your dad, and I'll share it on the show. Who knows I might even send out a mindfulness mod t shirt or mind from this mode mug. So send it to me. Bruce at mindfulness mode dot com. Oh, I'll be speaking at pod. Fast in Orlando, Florida, which starts on March seventh. It's going to be a terrific event. I'd love to see their sign up at podcast expo dot com. Now on today's episode. My guest is a total winner. She's all about mindfulness, and so much more sit back relax and enjoy my chat today with Christy. Well, mindful tribe, you're going to be excited when you hear who we have with us today. I have Christie Whitman, and she's a wonderful author and a coach, and so many more more things speaker Christie are you in mindfulness mode today? Yes. Of course, you're very mindful. Well, it's great to have you here. Like, I said, and I just want to share a little bit about you. With mindful tribe, Christie Whitman is a transformational leader a celebrity coach and the New York Times bestselling author of the art of having it all and a new book, which is I'm so excited to say quantum success. I have it here. And while I just loved it. I love it because there's no fluff. It's it's solid strong meaty content that really matters. It's quantum success. Seven essential laws for a thriving. Joyful and prosperous relationship with work and money. So you need to get your hands on quantum success. But I just want to share a little bit more Christie as appeared on today on the morning show. And our work has been featured in people magazine seventeen Women's Day Hollywood life and teen vogue. Among others Christie is the CEO and founder of the quantum success learning academy and quantum success coaching academy, which is a twelve month law of attraction coaching certificate. Certification program Christie has helped thousands of people worldwide to achieve their goals through her empowerment, seminars, her speeches and coaching sessions and products her life changing message reaches over two hundred thousand people every single month. And wow. Wow. Wow. Well what? Does mindfulness mean to you Kristie? Let's start there it really for me. It's that energy. It's the act of being so present just within the moment. What's happening with your energy? What's happening with your thoughts? What's happening with your emotions and being so focused on yourself, and what's happening in your life. And and really the power that's running through you rather than thinking of something else or being somewhere else being in the past being in the future. But really being so focused and present in the present moment will the power that's running through you. I love that that just conjures up such a great image. And in your book, you talk about feeling forward, and you give an exercise could you share that with our listeners Christie? Absolutely. So whenever we just kind of give a little background information from that that part of the book, most of us think that in order to feel a certain way, I'm going to go. -ccomplish a goal or I'm gonna go get this or do something I'm gonna chief something, and then we're gonna feel and a lot of times we get end up getting disappointed because we achieved that mount of money or receive that certain thing that accolade, and then we don't end up feeling what we thought we would feel so feeling forward is really being mindful to bring the in the energy of what you will you do want experience right here in the present moment where which is where all your power exists. And so feeling forward is really being able to be in your now being mindful and also connecting with that future self that actually does exist because all time is simultaneous. So our past our present and our future all exists right now. And as you are feeling your way into what you want to come who he wants to become what you want experience while also feeling it now, then you're feeling your wife forward, you're going to actually living into what you want to become, but it's not. When this happens, then you feel it's feel it. And then this happens, right? And yes, we do have to feel that we have to be aware of our emotions. Now, I know Christie that you have written books for women only and a lot of people think of you as someone who really really has the ability to help women, but this book is not geared to women only. I'd like to just talk about the differences that you find dealing with men helping men move forward and achieve their goals compared to helping women I love that question. I don't think I've ever been asked that question before. And I I love the fact that I'm just wanting to help anybody that is really to be open to this information because what I always speak about in all my books trainings. Everything they do is on universal laws. So why should I write a book just for women as I have because these universalize I had men coming to me for my passbooks like the art of having an all women's guides unlimited abundance. I had men in my readership going will can I read it in his like, of course, you can read it and imports. You can apply the information because it's universal. So doesn't matter. If you're a man or a woman where you live what your religious background is any of that. These are universal laws, and that when you apply them, you will see the results women tend to be a little bit more open to the information. So I think that's why a lot more women are attracted to this work. But I always say, it's a very special man that when a man can get in touch with this information attractive information and start applying it it I find that it is a very conscious aware man that down Chuck seen formation to them. We're definitely moving into a new place. We used to be so defined by our gender. And now, I mean, my son he's seventeen he comes home from school. He says, oh, my one friend. Yes, she's she's gender fluid. And then, you know, and he talks about other other friends, and they don't identify themselves as male or female. Necessarily at all. And I do you think that's a healthy thing. You know, it is the way our world is honestly. And and for for me, it's more about you know, energy, and whether the energy that we contain because you could have a very feminine woman that looks feminine. But yet the energy she carries his very masculine. It could be very goaling rented, and and very just, you know, very straightforward. And I read about that with my co author attaining alpha bitch, and it's like, you know, bullying and striving and driving which is more of a masculine energy. And then you have a male that has more feminine energy. That's more of a consider consideration in in the lowering ING space. So for me, it's really about the energy that we give out and who were in partnership. Do do we match and flow without partner 'cause you can't have. It's a union the young, right? You can't have too masculine 's not necessarily I'm nothing to males. But to masculine partners that are deciding everything on that are going. A bully their way through everything and that are going to just, you know, just right? The bulls and take the action because you need that different balance in the relationship doesn't work. Very well, does it if we to masculine to feminine trying to work things out usually there has to be a balance that's for sure. Now, one of the things I noticed in the book was this sentence. And I think it's very powerful sentence. Whether you realize it or not you have actually been preparing for the career of your dreams all of the days of your life. Can you expand upon that? And and and kinda give us the context. Absolutely. So, you know, regardless of what age you are all of our life experience up to this particular point, whatever point eight, you're listening to this or watching this all of it has been filled with things that we like and things that we don't like and all of those things that we don't like what I like to describe as contrast the things that we don't. Prefer where the problems that show up all of those things gives way to get in clear on what we do want. So when we are stuck in a job that we just cannot stand or we have a critical boss, and we feel very emotional reaction to that. There's a part of us that understands that what we really want is a boss that supportive or maybe not no boss at all. Maybe one of the our own boss. We want to start our own business. So there's always clarity happening from the contrast that shows up in our lives in all of that clarity is getting us to understand what our preferences. What our desires, and as we move along and not stay stuck in with the contrast is or with the problem is or feel like you're limited in some way with start moving in the direction of this would feel good. You know, I don't want to Boston anymore. I wanna have my own business. I don't wanna do this. I want to do this. We're starting to open up to really what our career path has been guiding us our whole entire life. Even watching our our families, even like as a young girl watching my. Dad, you know, watching what what he says about his career how he feels about money all the programming. We've been all developed all that development and conditioning has literally let us become who we are today. Truly has. And speaking of families. What have you learned from your children about mindfulness? Can you share that with us? Yes that they're not necessarily interested in the schedule. Getting in the shower getting out the because we gotta go somewhere. They're interested in mum. Here's the balloon play balloon with me. So, you know, they're always interested in being in the moment and in the moment right here right now. How can we find something or someone or do something that's of nature of play? And that is so good for me. Because I have a very I'm a more serious personality more focused intense personality, and to have the two of them literally were I'll be bopped in the head by balloon, you know, and it's like mud play with me. You know, it's it's always by base kind of thing. They've really helped me allow that little playful girl to come out and play with them and to to not take life. So seriously into remember to play and to find those moments where you can have the adventures and not just say, okay, now, we're doing this and our doing that because we have a tendency sometimes adults to get so focused on what has to be done and the responsibilities that we have to remind ourselves to stop and play. Well, Kristie speaking of children, would you share with us a day in the life of eight-year-old Christie was it like what were you like what kind of a kid were you? Well, I was as my mom. I was labeled pain in the ass. They called me that since birth. So if I was just I was very rebellious. And I always was wanting to know why if my mom would say why I want you to do this. I'd say we'll why. And if she didn't have a good reason because I said, so I'd say, well, that's not a good reason. You have to reason why you're telling me to do this. So I was very which she will call argumented or a penny as I would just wanna know the reason why are you making this decision? Why am I doing this? I wanted to know the why behind it. And so I was always stretching the boundaries. And I certainly didn't like to be told what my limits were. I did not like to told could can't if someone if she said to me, you can't do this. I'd be like, oh, yeah. Watch me, you know. And and whether it was for my betterment or not it helped me succeed in my life. Because I would hear her saying what you know, you can't do that. We don't do that. You can't do that. I'd be like watch me. And then I would blow her mind away by the things that I could create or cheap. So I was very very opposite. Where she said black. I said why she said up, I said doubt, you know? I was very much like always wanting to prove my mom wrong. I love the store you told in your Ted talk when you told about shopping for an outfit, and you know, it was available in four colors. And she said what you can't have them. All you have to choose. And you're like watch me really why shouldn't I have them all and that's the way you've lived your whole life. It sounds like even in adulthood, and I think it sounds like it really ticked you off when there were some books out there and some some publications about well, you know, you really can't have it all, and here's why is that did that start to really get under your skin when it gets underway skin. And I just because I'm so passionate about helping people understand what what potential we have. And who really really are in that limits really feel so bad. What you're referring to is. When actually how I birth the art of having it all because I was at a media conference I walked up to a media person. And I said, you know, what all New York women want. And she said what I said they want it all and she started talking about how women can't have it all were overworked or. Overwhelms in. We have to make decisions we want to be a mom or do we want to have a business? You know? And I was like wait what? And she was just arguing for this limitation in challenge. You know, anybody that could have it all that has it all and it's a lot of my clients myself. And I started, you know, naming how I think I have it all how I define it all and she goes, well, I won't be needing your information. Because I don't believe women can have it all and I looked at her. And I said well there in lies the problem because we create from our believes an and there's so many people arguing for their limitations. Instead, we need to be looking at what are the possibilities for life? Not what do we have to defend in? You know argue against that Peru's that we can't have what we want. It's so true. It's so true. I love the what are your thoughts on the metoo movement Christie. You know, I think it's good that women are starting to speak up and start to be less fearful, there's a part of me that's afraid that men are going to be. Oh, terrified to just be themselves. And yet there is a part of of men that you know, maybe needs to be backed off a little bit and be a little bit more appropriate. But I I just wish everybody could just be more aligned, and as you are more aligned with who you really are. With your true source of power, not a power over or not a power under not a power against which is really being in your own creative power. And you know, being able to just be who we are that which is when we're aligned were naturally, happy and joyful people. It's a very different world than having to be like, I said against someone and having to be in fear of what the opposite sexual cues you of and and that sort of thing, you know, it's good that I think that everything, you know, has a has a balancing act, and I think that everything is happening in our society right now is having people wakened to the fact that there has been this inequality and this inappropriate behavior. And it's great. That is now coming out so that we can determine as human beings how what is appropriate in an what does feel good for all involved. I'm curious about your work as a celebrity coach. I know that you coach all kinds of people would you rather coach a celebrity or somebody who is just a humble down to earth person who just wants to move forward and achieve more. You know, my left out a question because I, you know, I've had many celebrities that are very well known that I've worked with and and I've had housewives you know, that that they take care of the kids, and that's what they wanna do. And for me, the best client that I ever worked with it. Doesn't matter a celebrity or what they do for a profession, or if they don't even work is their willingness to heal themselves their willingness to return back to the truth of who they are their willingness to learn apply, the universal laws their willingness to get out of lack in limitation in no themselves as an unlimited being and to be accountable in a let me show up and do what I can do for them. And and really take in the information in apply between our sessions. Shift is a shift. I don't care who it is shifting. That's what gives me juice. So really for me. It doesn't really matter who the person is as long as they're willing to be on the line place. Have you ever had a celebrity that you you found a really wanted to move forward. But they didn't do the work or it didn't resonate. You. Couldn't get them to to just dig in. Yes, I've had that for celebrities influencers and on celebrity the non influencers there are people that you know, they say they want the help. But when you go to give him the health, they're not reeling to do the work, and as a coach there, it's like that will saying you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make a train, right? And so for me, I'm aware of what my ideal client is and who I want to work with and I want someone that's eager to take that change that they want to make their lives better. And they're willing to take responsibility. So yeah, it's not fun working with someone. That's just like. Yeah. You you know, kind of like a. You could say it's a celebrity type of attitude, but there are many people that are not celebrities. I have that attitude too. It's like just do the work for me. You know, it's like it's like if I'm a personal trainer just go to the gym. And lift the weights for me, you know, it doesn't it doesn't work. So how do you reach two hundred thousand people a month? Well, I have been at this for a long time. I've been a coach for been author for over seventeen years have been coach over fifteen years. I've I've put out lots and lots of shows and lots of lots of interviews and just had, you know, getting my word out there through my YouTube channel and things where people just come in. And they go to my website. And they for some reason like what I have to say, they they're they're hungry. You know, a lot of people are really they're having a spiritual hunger right now. And they're wanting to that, you know, I get a lot of people that like me twenty years ago. They achieved what they wanted in their relationships. So they've achieved what they wanted financially are in their career. And they're like is this it there's gotta be something more. And that's really where I was everything in my life was working great. But I felt that emptiness I felt really unfulfilled. And no matter what I achieved in my life until I. Got to a place of understanding where my satisfaction and contentment came from would I really be able to enjoy my life and feel a sense of freedom. And there was a lot of healing that I had to do. And so I think people just like not like they're they're hungry for that. Yeah. I totally agree. And I think what they see in. You is someone who is real someone who is genuine and passionate at the same time. And that's easy. Well, it's easy to spot. You know, it's easy to see that in you and people are hungry for that too. And and mindful tribe you can reach out to Christie Christie Whitman dot com, and it Chr I s t y Christie Whitman dot com, transformational leader has helped thousands and thousands and thousands of people. And I just think it's phenomenal. Now Kristie I always ask a questionable bullying heavy. You a story where either you were a bully or you. Experienced bullying, maybe in your adult life, or maybe as a child that you can share with us where mindfulness would have made a difference. Yes. So I don't get bullied, and I do not bully because I understand that the whole bullying situation based on law of attraction, you have to have victim, and you have to have a bully, and you have to have someone being willing to be bullied whether they're aware of it or not because what's happening with the bully is that somewhere in their life. They're being bullied and they're trying to find their power. And what's been modeled for them? What what what is a a source for them? Because that's what they've seen is that they then bully, and so I have a situation I think it's been about four years ago. Now my son maxim who he's now eight but when he was in kindergarten just going into kindergarten. There was a little kid named Gibson and Gibson would one day pretend to be as friend, and then the next day would push him down and hurt him. And I would get so angry. It's like why aren't you speak? Coming up. Why aren't you telling somebody, and he was just like 'cause I want him to be my friend, and it's like wake maximum, you know, it's like he can't bully you. If you say, no, if you stand up to him, the only way bullying can continue is if a person continues to allow it and doesn't do something about it. When you show a bully your power, and you're saying ought not to me the bully will go somewhere else or they'll try to find it somewhere else. But they're not going to bully you, and we had to get in that with him a many many conversations, and it was really interesting. He just finally woke up at the gives about six years old and this kid was kicked out of the school. And he went for his blue belt in karate. And then also turned the age of six and something just snapped in him, and he started with his brother at like these little amusement park places. There was a bully and that was bullying other little kids and he walked up to the bully was bigger that him. And he said, hey, go pick on someone your own size. Standing up for this kid and any sunny goes, and he did start speaking on me, you know, an MP yet. He he really grew in his power, and he really ended. Now is anybody was to ever bully either one of my kids. They're like who does it, you know, like, what are you doing here because they they really own that you're only going to bullying me because you're trying to feel better about yourself in some way. And the only way that they know how to do that is because they need power over somebody. And you're not going to power over me. So they they stand up for themselves. And when we do that, you know, someone I have some of the other day in business try to threaten me and try to command name demands me to do something and was was cra-. Putting all these threats of I'm going to contact my lawyer, and I'm like, okay. So contacted mine, and and I said lawyer take care of it. And I haven't heard back from the person. It's like don't believe me. Don't don't try to walk all over me. That doesn't feel good. I'm not interested in the fight. And if you're threatening me than here, you know, it's like, I know my power, and I'm not. To be walked over. So if you need to go feel better about yourself to pick on somebody go pick on somebody else because it's not going to be me. Good for you. You've written five books as an author. I just wonder what is the mindfulness required to write a successful book. Well for me, Bruce, all of my books, literally download through me as it's as if it the the information comes through whether it's an actual writing this lab latest book quantum success. I was at the clock in the morning. They usually come to Melvin because I think when most open but three o'clock in the morning, I was on a cruise ship with my family. I had no place to go other than the bathroom because everybody was in this dark cruise ship room. And I went into the bathroom put some tells on the floor and let my my pen hit the journal, and it just might arm becomes independent of of Maitha h just like, it's something. Yeah. It's it's really amazing. And in that place. I'm very mindful that this is not the this is coming from somewhere else, and I just allow whatever's coming through, and I just wit and said, and when it's done it's done, and then to be able to sit back and say, okay now, it's my. Co creative partner with the DeVine's my ability as the as the as the human to to the only one that actually can take action on this in do something with it. So the whole process of writing a book about you mother other books, I'm writing right now is being really present it sitting with the material it's it's sharing it with clients and seeing how it shifts them, and allowing it to process them in and get their stories and eat back, and and it is a process, and it is important. The more mindful and present I can be with it and the more energy. I put into what this can do for somebody else. People. I hear all the time saying your book in the bookstore, literally was like your arm came out and tapped me on the shoulder and said read this book, and I just had to get it. Because I use it with so much energy of what the possibility is after you read this book, and I love the title quantum success. I love the emphasis on. In quantum physics because you know, like, it's it's true. Like if you start to understand even a little bit of what quantum physics means. And what it is. And how it can be applied to everyday life. Then you can move you forward. Right. Well, Einstein himself said it, you know. Thing is energy, and whatever you want. It's like you have to become a vibration will match to it. And he was saying this, isn't this isn't philosophy. This is science in some. Yeah. Christie do meditate. And if you do what's your meditation? Look like, I meditate every day. Sometimes I do it twice a day. But I make sure to always get in at least fifteen or twenty minutes. So it's not like three hours. I'm not sitting on a rock somewhere or a hill somewhere. I go in my bedroom. I take time to meditate on a phrase that uplift me, I always choose the word like whether it's abundance or success, and I focused on that. And let that feeling of that word that that essence that concept really feed me in fuel me. And after I do that meditation. I might puke put on some music sometimes other times, it's silent. I will journal about what came through to me. And that's it. It's like plugging in you know, it's like. I if I feel tired instead of reaching for coffee all now, go for just even five minutes in I'll just fill myself being resourced by the only source that really can resource me, you know. And so I might take a little time throughout the day to just close my eyes, and you know, feel feel myself being resourced. But yeah, so it's it's sitting with with a a thought that a phrase an affirmation a mantra, repeating nat- or even just focusing on that, but more importantly feeling the energy of what that is. And in reading your book, I feel like it was written by a very grounded author and in meeting you today, I'm finding out, of course, that's true, very grounded, and that happens when you meditate it's happens when you when you journal, and when you do some of these things you're talking about that's for sure I'm the same person. When I don't pay doesn't why I do meditate because I can tell the difference of how my day flows are doesn't flow, and I can go. Oh, I didn't connect today. You know? Well, well, the book is so solid. And and I was saying earlier, you know, there's no fluff. It's just solid content. And I kept thinking, oh, I want to write this down. Oh, I want to write that down. And I'm like, okay. Well, just underline at otherwise, I'm going to be rewriting the whole book. There's so much great yellow. Yeah. That's right. Quantum success seven essential laws for thriving joyful in prosperous relationship with work and money. And I wanna move forward by asking you five quick answer questions Kristie, if that's okay. The first one is this who is one person who has influenced mindfulness in your life. I would say the first person and still continues to even after his passing passing is doctor Wayne Dyer? Wow. Yeah. He's he's one of my. One of my heroes to how is mindfulness affected your emotions. I was never. Let me put it this way. I was always so afraid of feeling myself because I was afraid of what I would feel and it wasn't until I got mindful to until I got present with my emotions that actually my life changed. So mindfulness is played a huge role in every aspect of my life. Because of the fact that it was willing to slow down and feel myself. Well, let's talk about breathing breathing part of your mindfulness practice, breathing when I'm spinning I have you know, I can get really ooh in spinning spray. And so that's the that's the key tool to coming back, as you know, I love taking in a very mindful breath of breathing in four seconds holding the top and then breathing out for seconds than holding it at the bottom and doing that just a couple of times that really centers me and just it. It makes me just take all my energy intention out of the world that I'm in or what I'm thinking about that. I'm spinning about and just coming back to the moment in really. Grounding me. So it's I I do that a lot. What you've written some wonderful books Christie that I will list in the show notes. But do you have any other books you would recommend to help people with mindfulness? You know, the power of now is such a great phenomenal book. I love that book for mindfulness. You know, a book that was in one of my first books that really really helped me was Barbara DeAngelis present moments. Do you? Remember that book? I remember being it just came out. And I loved Barbara de Angelis. She she was one of my first teachers because my sister had bought me my very first self-help book back in ninety three. And so I saw her book real moments is what it was called real moments. And I started reading it in the bookstore now is like she was speaking to me. And that was when I first started getting the concept of being present in realized for the first time how present how I wasn't present. Right. I want to ask you about an app is there an app that you would recommend that could help people with mindfulness. You know? I don't really have. It's funny. I don't use a lot of apps. So I wish I could suggest something, but I don't I know that my friends over at the the tapping solution Nick, and Alex Ortner are coming up with a tapping one for those people that like EFT tapping a no they're developing one. But I don't really have go to one that. I do I know calm is really good for some people for meditating. But yeah, I'm not one to use one myself. Thanks for that Kristie. I know that we can contact us through Christie Whitman dot com now is there a website quantum success for your book? Is there a website just for your book? Well, we have one called quantum success book, and Bruce what I would love to do is offer to your listeners a free copy. All they would have to do is go there. I just ask the take care. They take her shipping and handling, and I will ship you out a free book. So no twenty six dollar as you can see it's a hard cover books. Not any. You know, you get your own copy. So that's my gift for you and your listeners, and allowing me to be on the show of fantastic. That's a wonderful gift. So quantum success book dotcom. So check it out. And also check out the website Christie, Whitman dot com Christie, it has been such a pleasure to have you on the show today. Thank you so much. I'm really appreciative of your kind words, and and also allowing me to be here with you. And I know how important your listeners are for you. And how important it is to have people that are on the show that brings a lot of value. So hopefully, I've done that for you today on your listeners. Definitely so great. Thank you and have a great rest of your day Kristie. Thanks so much. Bye. Now. 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Get Off The Cycle and Run; Rodney C. Burris

Mindfulness Mode

54:26 min | 2 months ago

Get Off The Cycle and Run; Rodney C. Burris

"Mindfulness mode really thoughtful in his simple breeden in a simple as riding a bike reach new heights of calm. Focus and happiness here in mindfulness mode with me your host and mindfulness life coach. Bruce langford mindful tribe. I've read lots of books of had lots of authors on. We talk about mindfulness. We talk about getting grounded. We talk about habits. And today i have an author on who has created a book that is just so interesting and compelling in different unusual and it really grabbed me. It was a lot of fun to read. And it's about habits. It's it's you know that topic of routines and that kind of thing but it's framed in a very different way that i think you will find refreshing. The author i have on today is rodney. See burruss rodney. Are you and mindfulness mode. Today i am totally in mindfulness. Mold bruce a pleasure. Thank you so much. Well it's a pleasure to have you on the show really truly and i just wanna share a bit more about you. Rodney with my tribe and rodney. Cbs is an expert at team building and program development. He teaches workshops across the us and abroad. He holds a psychology degree from the john. Hopkins university and a masters in nonprofit management from capella university. And like i said he's author of a book and this book is called. Get off the cycle and run and i had the pleasure of recently reading this book and just really spoke to me. And rodney has a quote that i want to share with you right now in the quotas to inspire means to fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something. That's one of rodney's quotes rodney. What does mindfulness mean to you. Let's start there. There is a monk by the name of a and i'm going to try my best pronounce. His name bruce at figures tick nah hundreds of. That's right. yeah tear not on. Yes i i became aware of this. He was having a conversation with over and one of the things that he shared was he would go to these walks in the walk with never about the destination it was always about the journey and he the walk with take as long as it needed to take than every step. He was trying to be present in that moment in. I don't know why out of all of the years of hearing about mindfulness and hearing about being attentive and is one thing to be physically present but you may not be mentally there and all those sorts of things that conversation. It's mr On hun in oprah together it funk in in it would that was my start. That was about seven years ago bruce. That was my start to really become aware of. What does it mean to be mindful of how showing up in this world of how m- communicating of what my thoughts are. What are my feelings telling me but better yet. How am i choosing to define any experience. Over quarantine bruce. I cut my foot last year. My dad and my sons. We actually built this shed and my in my backyard my own property while we were tearing down the shared and putting up a new one. I had cut my foot pretty badly out there. Like kind of being seeded for some weeks going up and down stairs kind of scoot scoot in backwards. You know not really being able to walk thinking that. I can't stand a little bit trying. China wash dishes or whatever wouldn't agent and swollen up and it's very easy to say him passed off always happens to me man who not one thing. It's another at choice right How i chose to view that bruce is you know for better for worse. It took me a little bit longer to appreciate enfor transparency with everyone to share this markle this moment with us. It took me a little bit longer to appreciate the gravity of the situation and we were last year kinda worldwide globally. Just kind of stay shelter in place. Stay at home. It took me a while to really internalize that and what. I realized that me her having a hurt with like that it kind of kept me grounded. It kept me out of harm's way. And i chose to view kind of like you know bumper pool or kind of like things like offense a little bit. If i wasn't aware enough to not run out into the street right for whatever my reasons were were not. I had something that allow me as i came to grips with the gravity of what was going on to just stay put and i think that that mind phone is bruce. Kinda just being intentionally aware of how on choosing survive to defy interactions moments. Events is one of the things that that just really can lead to a healthier better life and it's something that i hope to share. I hope your foot's a lot better now rodney's better almost a year ago now so yeah puts a lot well rodney. I've done a lot of work in schools with bullying prevention. And i know you have a passion for working with kids in schools and you love baltimore. Tell us above baltimore and what what you love about it. In the schools there so baltimore is a city that has a lot of box in beauty. Marks bruises imprimis and i went to a great. You know internationally known university. Johns hopkins in what happens with people who go to my school so baltimore tracks. Twenty thousand students from around the world. Best the best criminal crop. You know we're we're playing your cornell's and your brown university. You're you know that that's our legal folks that we interact with at hopkins in people come to baltimore. Been four years of phenomenal nightlife phenomenal college. Early twenties roaring twenty. If i may and then they leave right so baltimore. Experiences brain-drain every single year. My wife also is a graduate of hopkins and we chose to stay put Chose to stay put. And i got involved in the schools. Kind of accident. I was looking for supplemental income. I was working in nonprofits when i graduated. I looked found supplemental income in. It had traveled around to schools around the country doing workshops of working with guidance counselors and talk about financial aid and like after graduation in when i realized bruce's that regardless of the socio economic levels regardless of public or private if i was in the mid west or out west or up north down south schools the better schools was never based on. It seemed on funding on the type of technology with there. It seemed to be based on two factors one parent involvement in in to systemic support. Right so the principles can or cannot do so much. The guy who can do a much teachers can do so much but if the system they're supported the school the schools seem to thrive even. If they didn't have a lot of money right they came up with creative ways to bridge those gaps and i realized been our situation than baltimore with schools in funding and things of that nature. I thought for years teachers. We need more money. We need more books. We need whatever it is at took those learnings right. Those outcomes bruce. And i begin to go to the school board and go to our state's capital with submit testimony and before you know about myself in the schools every week every month i've literally done work with our school. Ceo through different towns. I've helped implement something. We had fru supper program for citywide school. Several years back. I was a major part of that. And so it has been my honor to allow people to see that we actually have the stuff to create these different in better outcomes. We often look for those better relationship experiences. Better school environments. You know whatever battery. Whatever that i wanted to attach the we look for it outside or ourselves but a lot of times in it seems so simple that we miss it. It is right. Here is so figuring out how to tap into it. Because if i'm given the brand new relationship the brand new books the brand new buildings the brand new whatever it may be. But i'm the same person approaching these these new things. They're eventually going to kind of you know. Fall back into the rut that it was before. So that's the work that teachers and students and i enjoy comes from my heart man. Well speaking of the heart. I know that you have a heart for helping people in. Maybe one of the reasons for that is the way you grew up. I know that you you grew up with some challenges. You spent some time in a homeless shelter. What was that. Like living in a homeless shelter. A period of time and bruce so there were these red cups not the risk of the people usa parties these days. They were plastic but they were hard. Plastic in kind of translucent. A little bit. And what i remember about those cups. Bruce is the taste taste of powdered milk. That had water added to it. I've never heard of powdered milk before. And i remember sitting down one morning. We had this bowl of oatmeal cups and it was like milken air. Okay and i'm went to drink the milk in. It tasted like nobil i've ever had in my life. I was like what if this had experience for me. As a semi euro colors might experience in a homeless shelter We were in a room with multiple people in bunk beds. We were in downtown jacksonville florida. What happened was my mom. And my dad actually experienced a pretty violent domestic violence domestic pilot episode and I always kinda you know. Fill a little personal bossier. But i share it. Share it all the time because it comes from a heart and help shape me. And my dad has given me permission to share my mom's giving me permission to share but it's still touches my heart bruce So what happened was my dad came home after being gone for several days. Kind of over the weekend. My mom was holding my baby sister at the kitchen table. China complete homework for some college crowd classes so she went back to school trying to get her degrees. So she's holding my little baby sister and my dad comes home argument. Is we been. Where's the money such as an edge going back and forth and my dad picks up a mop too my mom swings the mop across the faith he goes and lays down on a couch passes outright sleepy tired. Whatever and my mom. Bruce was fed up is so she decided to take the red gallon of gasoline. In burn him in the house up speed now be done with it in the moment of preparing everything for that. She felt like she had her own. Mindfulness moment and she turt- something within her. Say what you want to do. You're not crazy in how crazy. She had a breakdown she cried. She woke up the next morning. She pack my sister's up. Maybe in the first grade at a time first and second grade something like that going to private school in baltimore bell kristen academy and she put me in the car with my sisters put. When uniform on of turning to go to school she drove bruce until she felt safe. And that's how we ended up from baltimore maryland to jacksonville florida. A long drive the long jobs. She stop there because according to her man she says bruce i got out the car to pump gas and it was warm outside now in maryland. It was snowy fleshy. She said it was warm outside of she felt safe in. That's why she is also not many other places to go after. Florida on the highway. If you just drive down ninety five thousand in the united states is nowhere to go after to florida but so right he also didn't have that choice but yeah so we stopped there man and somebody. She went to give some services to get some help in the lady was like well. Ma'am ms berge and know that you're homeless. My mom was like no. I'm not. I have a house to such such and she was like sweden houses in maryland. You're in florida. You say that you have no plans to go back. You don't have a home right lightbulb. Eureka moment and we lived in a car for a little bit. Our refrigerator with the styrofoam like cook outs. And that was refrigerated in a car. For wow we eventually moved into that shelter we move. We will we move. We move every couple of years just moving moving never having friends that i grew up with never having a neighborhood that was my part of town never really feel connected to any group always feeling like the outside are always starting over. And it wasn't until bruce we were. I was from high school on my way to hopkins. And i kind of had my own my food this moment and i was able to sit back and realized that we weren't just moving. We were moving socio economic levels. If we say that we were moving neighborhood types that we went from cards and the homeless shelter so by the time i graduated. I was in school with people's people who parents were. Ceo's and this was all in florida all my way to johns hopkins university among put in a phenomenal amount of work. And i. it's my honor to write this book. In her honor to share our story. Madonna and i have a phenomenal relationship. Now we were able to grow through. It was bumpy for a bit but we were able to sort through those things and it feels good to be here or one of the things you mentioned in your book. Rodney was that your father had actually dealt with substance abuse and he had moved through that. How did he do that. What was what's the story there. Well my dad to me. And i guess every kid thinks their dad is a hero right. My dad bruce had this awesome ability to use a large amount of substance in be extremely functional in this world so it with that was in large part of shorts physiology and genetics and all of that stuff with his mindset. He taught me. We don't use the word can't we. Don't use the word quipped if anybody says. I don't think you can really an invitation to demonstrate to them that that plus more as possible he said those phrases to be bruce one hundred and fifty thousand times right in so when he quit. He literally decided to stop know. How old were you. At that time i was. I was a man i was married. I wanna talk. Did you see him as you're growing up. Was he a father figure to you. As you were growing up. Yes though he was in and out of my life in and out of those so all of those towns moving moving moving moving moving a year and a half. You'll be there seven months. He wouldn't two years he be god. He'll be back for three months. He actually moved from baltimore down to florida with us for a stint left and went back to maryland. So here's the story. I told everybody. I have good grades. One of those kids. That you know. I i did on your standardized tests and those things and everybody was like well young man. What do you want to do when you grow up. You know. And i didn't know what i wanted to do. And so eventually. I told started telling people i wanted to be a doctor doctor lawyer. I don't want to do law. So bid out. And i just picked it and when i was filling out my test score the where where we wanted to have our sat and act. Scores sent a standardized test scores. One of the choices for me was at johns hopkins in hiding did know anything about the school. I didn't know it was a good school but it was in baltimore in my dad was in baltimore. I wanted to daddy. And so. I told everybody i was going to. I got accepted to the school and all that kind of stuff and told everybody that was going to be a doctor. That was a cover. I was going to find my dad and that was that had some bumpy bitter water. Because i did find him. He was strung out sometimes He did come. I remember one time bruce. He came to my home in my whole apartment. College student He was like fun. Can i just see you for a little bit. Sure we have met him out at the corner from st. We would walk through our apartment And he had bags. Bruce of close old stinky smelly dirty clothes that he doesn't even wash and He left they were huge. I had a small studio efficiency apartment. He was like artem. Leave these here. Go in take a couple of days having some stuff. And i'll be back form. I kept those close. Bruce for like seven months man while they were in the middle of the floor. I could move around him. He never came back. Wasn't able to find them. Didn't catch up with them for another two three years after then vitually at the when i moved out of apartment after a way you know. I'm just tossed them those experiences. The good the bad ones the ones that weren't so comfortable all help craft within me. This person that looks at others in sees potential. And i learned how to persevere. But i think the best thing bruce is. This is what this book is all about. It's great when you have that. It's phenomenal. But i think one of the biggest difference between intellect and intelligence is the transferable quality of it so i can be smart great that's phenomenal intellectual. But if i speak of people's heads would good as that knowledge right in so intelligence is being able to convey in connect that information. I believe and so yes i've learned how to persevere see the best to kind of redefine my situations but i think the most beautiful thing of that of all of that. Bruce is finding simple ways to help people. Relax that's within them as well and then we get a more just inverted in equitable society because of it speaking of connecting with others and helping others. I'd love to help you. I'm so happy to be already working with a number of listeners. As a mindfulness life coach and hypnotists you might have heard of someone who's lost weight or quit smoking with the help of hypnosis as a licensed hypnotist i work with anyone struggling with an issue maybe at sleep. Maybe it's smoking or weight loss. While i've lost thirty five pounds myself and kept it off using hypnosis and now i'm offering a beta package and i'm really excited about this beta launch. Because it means big savings for you and it means. I get the opportunity to work with people like you and i have openings for only three people so you need to act now if you wanna lose weight. I've created a video to help you called how to lose weight for good watch the short video and then book a quick call with me when you can jump right in now and you'll get fifty percent off the price of the package so go to mindfulness mode dot com slash weight loss. And if you just want a book time and talk directly to me go to mindfulness mode. Dot com slash. Let's talk so. I look forward to connecting with you now. Back to the show. He came up with a lot of great metaphors for your book. And you you have simple ways to communicate with your reader and mindful tribe. The book is called. Get off the cycle and run. Order it on on Amazon order that book on amazon dot com. And i got the kindle version of it and you know you can order the other other paperback copy as well but my stomach was. Just churning. When i was reading that part about you you signed up for a physical challenge and then part of that was climbing up and being on this platform and you had to jump down into the water and it was a huge distance. And you couldn't think about it. You had to do it right away. Tell us about that and tell us about the metaphor. Oh my gosh. That was such a tough one right. So i guess i did come up this. I did this this race of several these obstacle challenge. Marathon races right multi miles seven ten twelve miles and climbing jumping crawling under bob wire and some of the obstacles groups are just a little bit less than humane but we sat. Because we're all crazy who people want this thing. One of them was wires that are hanging down and forgot what it's called. Maybe it's called the hot shatter from doing that. But you have to navigate through these wires that are hanging now and if you touch them a little. Isn't that listen. There's nothing to kind of shut down your central nervous system but it's a little reminder that these these are loved liars like why don't we to be this. There's nothing wrong with me. They're less right. But the one that bruce talking about guys so this huge platform. And i knew that a part of this whole experience with the komo something high and jump off into this pool of were right. I was ready for that. And when i say pool of water i mean a huge hole in the ground. A huge huge dugout. That was full of muddy water. That's what i mean. Let's just be clear who i seed. In a distance. I had run several miles. Common jumping. whoops you know all this kind of stuff. Kinda tired kind of fatigue rip. My paints hat on long pants ripped almost something sharp back. There were running in the wilderness of eastern maryland. It's called the eastern shore and get to this obstacle in all these people was like seventy people crowded around with this ladder of this platform. And so eventually. I make my way to the ladder and i'll just gusto right now. Cloudy up this thing. And i get to this platform and there's a bar in if you go under the bar you have to jump right. This is very short little ledge there and it's time to go in so i was standing there in his guys in right there to kind of keep the loud moving and i went on and i looked down while e coyote groups used to look down in the ground will go you and that's i had that experience. I'm like what the heck am i doing. Here why here. I would back on the bar and gothic. No no no no mazar skipping get under their act like yeah no coming because my shoes untied no excuses right so i went back under their standing at this ledge. Bruce and i'm like i can't do. This cannot do this. And i choked at in meena. I don't know what happened. He added pushed. I jumped my body betrayed me so maybe we can some services for that. I need some help. Could my body did that. And i'm in the air and so swim really well. And i was falling bruce fall and i'm michael got time breathing so that when i go under i can swim to the surface though for so long and my metabolism my breath with off like i just hit the water awkwardly win under assumed to the top swimmer to the circus and i'm not going anywhere not not making movement. I swim really well and trying to stroke. And strive to get up there. Bruce not a bitch they have break the surface. And i'm like oh my gosh that almost killed me. A lady over there with the orange floated flotation device. And she comes to me. She's like sir. Do you need some help in my mind bruce. I'm like man. I swim well but donor. Since i was nine years old. I don't need a little floaty as need to catch my breath. i'm gonna make. That was my mind my mouth. I can't swim as now so if i could have a third party experience. I'm like really do like to make us look like that. I've grabbed this thing. Like it's my grandma. While she told me to the edge i get out. And i still have more run into but i share that story in the book in a share everywhere. Go because steve harvey he tells a story about jumping in. And that's the way to success like sometimes you just have to jump and i agree with that like sometimes. You gotta go but jumping. Does it make it better. Sometimes sometimes and this is what i mean by that. There's there could be this kind of concept. That if i jump everything will fall into place if i take this leap. Things were just leveled out in. Sometimes you can jump. Like i did in the terrified the whole time in the you hit the water in your body portrays you and you don't things don't lineup. Just if we know that going into the jump that this could still be scary you prepare differently than thinking. Everything will be fine. All i have to do is press it on that application all have to do is ticks. That person's i don't wanna see them anymore. All i have to do it like sometimes we have this idea. Maybe that if i just get the gusto to take the step everything will fall in place. But if we prepared each other bruce that perhaps that's a step in the process in that the steps following that may also be equally as arduous. But it's a long the same path to success to different better outcomes. We can prepare differently. And so i encourage people. I learnt this also for my mom when she left my dad in she drove into. She felt safe. She just jumped right. That was heard jumping and we ended up in a city rescue mission. We didn't end up in a beautiful butterfly and bunnies bouncing. We ended up in a shelter in. It wasn't until years later that that got better in if we teach people in the first grade right in elementary and middle school in before they become young adults right. If we teach them at this marathon enduring the marathon. You get tired. You might feel twinges here. You might pull a muscle. You might get a cramp and all of that is normal. We enter an engaged like much differently than this idea that successful people have it. I- others like me. Don't in if i try it'll give better and if it doesn't undefeated i'd give up in. I think that we caught a lot of undue haunted people we serve because maybe we don't complete that picture as as we could. Yeah i think you're right. I know that you talked in your book a lot about running and you use that. Sometimes we have to get off the bicycle and we have to run and you even cited a two thousand and seven study that showed that cyclists had lower bone density to runners. And so you're a runner. Is that right you you were. You run all the time. I run on monday through friday. And i'm being on bike so i had spoke disclaimer. The middle toward the end of the book and said titles on bad fighting a bad because the metaphor guys that that bruce talking talking back and forth is a cycle in your mom okay so a cycle is any set of behaviors or patterns that. Repeat in our loss right. These could be good or bad over and over again. I find myself the same type of relationship the same type of job experiences the same type of thing type. I find myself here. Those are cycles more than likely we contribute to those cycles and ways that we are unconscious of right shirtlessly. We perpetuate these cycle so. The book starts off with getting to identify with these cycles. Could be in what they could look like and then as they move as we move through the book we get to the point where okay guys. We said one hundred times this book get off the cycling run. Get off the cycle and run. Why can't we just walk like why can't stop this abusive non-productive cycle ba- finished with it and be like ooh we take a breather. Let me walk in the reason for that reason why we gotta run. And the reason why the kind of promotes the benefits of running versus staying the psychologists. Walking is because in real life. if we're on a little bike no matter how small cramped. It is no matter how rickety it is if we're used to it and we'd get off we just kind of walk a few steps if it's hot outside of this coal is raining or whatever it is more than likely how brand is gonna say you know what to help you get out of this situation easy. Pick that cycle call that person. Just get another job just like it right. Go back to the cycle in seoul running when you get off the cycle and run running. Always has purpose. It always has intent. Note the person that's running. And we know this. Bruce give you and our eaten much. You're a candidate yes. Yes in our sitting outside enjoying a sandwich and a person walks by us. We're we wouldn't maybe even notice this colored shirt they had right right. if you're ni- saw a person running as fast as they possibly could pass our table you and our high alert why. What's going on running purpose and intention behind it. So if i'm really trying to have something different and better my life. I need to move with intention and purpose and need to really figure out where my trying to go. I can't just stop that. I'm going to go back to it unless i insert something into my life. I have a buddy of mine. He's a big guy right. Big guys big guy. He was like riding. You know diets not work. I put this in the book is he was like you know. Diets work out. No no he was like diet stonework because win us guys like me. Well we get to work about ten thirty eleven o'clock that morning it's time to pull the menus locally ac- with without their thinking about food and we plan to go somewhere vacation we're digging about. Where can we go the best in a good spot do we need to get on the waiting list. And what are the reviews on foodie dot com and everything else. So i'm like really that he's like man is a lifestyle where we go on a diet. We go to work at about ten. Thirty eleven o'clock we started thinking. What places can we order from that. Allow us to eat the way we're eating now. We prepacked our food if we go on vacation where thinking okay eat this katie debt you. Nothing's changed about the mentality around food ever considered running getting off and running. It's just not hectic frantic movement the reason why we say purpose and attention because you either are trying to get to a new place where you're trying to get away from a place in a way that creates different because if you're just moving from just i'm going to end up right back. There is so china. Make that s simple on the front of the book bruce On heart cover. It says if you understand how a bike works you can understand how life works ness the whole idea. Well you just capped delivering metaphor after metaphor and it was really enjoyable to read and you had so many personal stories. You're such a greek communicate. Were you a great communicator. As a little kid too. So we have this wonderful phrase caught a class clown and i would always get in trouble bruce because first grade thank agree. I mean pretty much all the way up until high school. The milta- my report cards in the markings in those kinds of things it would always say is great too so great if we could just get him to stop talking such a new he really wants to help other people but sometimes we just need little rodney to kind of finish his or consider quietly. I got more trouble for teacher. Comments along those lines. Bruce i used to say like can. Y'all put on my report card. That i did bad in math or something like can i. Can i get a feedback. That i need study help. I never needed study help. Always the guy that was making false laugh trying to help getting about going to other people. So i guess i always had a way to communicate but i didn't always know how to effectively focus. Focus it so it was just kind of place you know. Maybe now we're getting some good out of it. Well you know. I'm a teacher. I can tell you that when i when experienced a child in a classroom. That has that much personality. And they're talking and they're they're just filled with personality. I see it as a positive. And i remember when i was in my early teaching career. I was a music teacher. And i thought if i could just have a band a school band where they just did what i told them they just played. The notes played the rhythms. They played their instruments. And then one year i had that ban and i was like wow. They're kind of quiet and they just do what i tell them to. And then as the year progressed. I thought but you know they're missing that personality and i it just taught me to appreciate kids like you. You know that have all that personality. They do talk. They do tell jokes they are the class clown. I really appreciate that. Issue arabia flavors. I play saxophone. I play piano. And then of course i. I went to university and learned all the instruments. I teach the kids and it was so much fun being a music teacher. One of my best teachers was a was mr welsh and mr welsh taught me how to play the trumpet com. Yeah i played trumpet. Went out from trumpet But i started in seventh grade at that was going to be a sex with right. I just had my thought. It was a beautiful instrument. I couldn't get out of it so we did a test duty. Do educate a smugly. Bruce at allows you have about pieces laid out and drumsticks in different things in the dulles. We just went like brooke. And i could make her hair out of that out of that saxophone clarinet and no real instruments. Here's the weird thing. If flipped it upside down and put the read on my top. i could get kokokin. That's not the proper way to do it so in. I got to the trumpet. And i was like. I don't wanna play the trumpet. I won't play saxophone. And i made the most beautiful beautiful just about these right. He was like your trumpet player. And i'm like nah. I'm out a trumpet player. Awesome and i went from being. Maybe i think we had like eleven trumpet so i think i started off being like nine chair. Tenth share every member towards the end of my seventh grade year. Bruce doing the test in getting fit in that. I chair and be like how do i get. I played every day. I loved it. I would play the same little odd notes by c. Scales and i played every single day after school and that was so loud and obnoxious said that will play to the neighborhood and i remember challenging for that i share and it felt so natural male but mr welsh last story out of i know i'd tell thousand stories but maybe you are mr welsh to tons of. Come out there. We had this percussion instrument in a we called it the quad. But i don't remember what it is but it was. I mean i don't remember exactly what maybe official name is. What do we have to be and it was like a happened. We call it the quads right order and i wanna play it also man. I wanted to play. And i literally went home one day and i made my own drumsticks. My dad had like these. Little sticks in iraq felt material around it with tape in added the most homemade bootleg liquor. Things and i came to school early one day and i knew i had been practising the rhythms with pencils and pens in my hands for months could do the rhythm of our school cates and one morning. I got up and i did it there. Everybody is milling around mr welcome. Picturing you right. So everybody pitcher. Bruce dylan this right. So bruce comes out of his office and leases head out. Any seasoning needs. And i knew going to get in trouble bruce. I knew i was about to get in trouble. Leather my eight. i'm not using the proper mallets. He just he went back in in the bell rang. Everybody had to go to class. He came up to me. And i said would you get those said. I made him. He's like he made those who helped you got just like you sound good on those. And that's all he said he wasn't a man of a lot of words he literally said you got something kid. Keep it up while the world. That's fantastic what a great story. Great story. I've met so many kids that had tons of personality and played the trumpet. The trumpet is one of those instruments. It's out there and you're going to play the trumpet like you are going to be noticed her out. That's the way the trumpet is. I just love that. Well you know. Twenty twenty. It's been an incredible year and a lot of different ways and one of the things i wanna talk to you about. Rodney is black. Lives matter because it's just been so. I mean as a canadian and i and i hear what's going on in the news and the air what's going on around i. My heart just feels so much pain. When i see how people are treated and how black people are treated. What are your thoughts on. Black lives matter. Are things improving. Is it getting better. Well i think one of the best things that happened with twenty twenty was everybody was home in stable seated enough to see things bubbling to the surface right and so a lot of that stuff was unfortunate but we were in space to be receptive to it. We didn't have much to do. I wasn't always a big fan of the freeze. Black lives matter because it was so divisive rain. Yes so i. I've had elected office in baltimore. I've done a lot of social activism and educational activism. And you know just have really been on when we had here. There was a situation with freddie gray and there was a bunch of riots. And he was. That name is associated with the black lives matter and hands up. Don't shoot those kind of slogans that have gone on over the past recent years. Been a part of those things in different capacities. So would i mean particularly about this freddie gray here in baltimore. There was a huge riot in very localized tau right. Cnn in the news outlets made it seem like baltimore. Burning right right. they're crazy. I'm looking at my window. My wife and i had five children my five kids out there playing with other kids about twenty kids in neighborhood bites and the hoops in idyllic childhood. And i look on the news. And i see that baltimore's burn. I look at my window. And i see all these kids and so just being mindful of media perceptions and messages that are being portrayed. Well the next day. I took my son's medical where people and we went out. We have clean up those neighborhoods. And i tell you that baltimore showed up bruce. I mean old and young and male and female of people across all sorts of acne genders. We were out. There's probably about a thousand people and there was tons of media outlet in the movie. It was good footage. That was captured. But we hang together in so anyway. Dow has been my way that i've been involved in. I never really took to the whole idea of black. Lives matter as a free. Because i told you it was a visit monday in real life across the street from a home. That's an elderly couple Our reserve their names right now but across the street from my house to in the morning there are fiqh billowing orange flames porn out of the top window so our houses speech each other right when thick thick thick flames in on the bible floor of the living room. They have like a babe beautiful bay window if like skull covered in smoke inside dark thick smoke. And i just knew. And i don't mean any harm but the older they're eighties. The older gentleman doesn't move very well. And i knew there was no way for the house to be like this. Got out of there right and that was just. It was crushing tons of fired. The my neighbor down around. He's gotta come on. That's how we came out. It turns out that something right before that happened before. Turn into a big flame. The grandma had a notion in she got him. They moved out the back door in with not in there at all right. We'll while why. Do i bring this story yet right now. Shortly after then. I saw phrase online. That connected this whole thing for me. Seeing my neighbors who. I dearly love not always tease or grandma because she comes on sided in like you ready to race jokes about us. Doing a foot race is like riding. You're not ready for me and just have an affinity for them nesta's on unbreakable. Well the colt. That i saw online bruce said about black that connected. This black lives matter from me with this. If your house is on fire in the fire department came to put it out but before they could do it. People came and says came out and said hey all houses on this block matter right. Why would focus on that. All these houses matter had. I saw that quote bruce. Two months prior two years prior it wouldn't have planet the sane him by neighbors who i thought were incinerated. If i can just be honest. I knew that they didn't make it out seeing air. And then when gigi now i was a part of all of us came together to help them. You connected to service they needed. You know the red cross shelter and all this stuff had someone came in that moment literally physically in said. Hey i know you're trying to put that. How would other houses on his black need attention at two. In the morning it's offensive and i. I didn't appreciate that to be on until i had that experience. And so for me. Every single humanist precious and re single one in one of the things that teach my children is you can't receive a lesson from a three year old toddler. If a homeless person can't talk to you in a way to receptive right you're not. You're not as far along you. You think so. I teach that. I believe that we are matter in also. In addition to all of us matter there are towns where that houses on fire in it needs our collective attention to get things. You know equitable again. So that's kind of my take on it. And that's the way i kind of could shoot it to the movement. Well thank you for sharing that story with us. Right narrowly it rodney as we move forward in the interview. I want to ask you five. Quick answer questions so just thirty. Second answers are perfect. Here's the first one who is one person who has been a powerful influence to you as far as mindfulness is concerned harlem. Mindfulness is concern. There's a guy named james worthy in james worthy actually got me started on this whole path and but i have two other ones mr de parts that my dad But there's a guy calm pops. Those people have been phenomenal in heavily. Stay grounded all right. Well thanks for sharing that. How has mindfulness affected your emotions. Rodney didn't always know how. I was feeling if that makes sense. Yeah the virgin uses. I don't like it. i feel bad. Michael has made me stepped. Take a step back and say how do you what is feeling bad are you. Are you disappointed right. Do you feel abandoned. Would you feel in what you know what you feel being able to take the steps to address. That's what mindfulness giving me for my feelings. Tell us how breathing is part of your mindfulness practice and every single morning. I can't believe you brought that up and everything warning. I can't i believe there's so much power to simple and doing every morning i agree with you completely. Recommend a book guided. The mindfulness and and your book is terrific. We've been talking about that. But what book would you recommend rodney. There's a book. Bruce by by malcolm well called outliers and the ad book. Let me see there so many other things that goes into success right. It seems like people just pop up out of nowhere with if we were mindful about how we approached our actions kind of like the the examples on the book. Maybe we ought get there as well. Are there any apps that you use or that you know of that can help with mindfulness. Yeah there's one call call probably aware of it I use that at mostly for the rains now. I don't know what it is. Bruce about natural rain but put on and just let. It has a cleansing aspect. What i know is just audio in. So put it on win of thinking when i'm eating kind of cruises the atmosphere africa minutes. Everybody like i love. When it's raining. And i i go to bed and i can hear the rain outside the window. I just absolutely love that. Sound to clinton and clinton yeah. It really is rodney. As we wrap up the and i just want to say it has been such a pleasure to talk to you and share this time with you and end to read your book to and i highly encourage you mindful tribe to get out there and and just get a hold of this book and i know rodney has something he wants to share with us as well as far as the book is but what final words of wisdom would you like to share with our audience in relation to mindfulness today. Rodney absolutely my favorite coal by gentlemen that we know einstein genius in einstein's says if you can explain it simply you don't really get it yet yourself and sometimes mindfulness is success and become a different and better is seems like such this huge outlandish task but really so simple in his s simple as breeden in his simple as riding a bike. Three quote unquote. Well you mentioned before. I hit record that you had something you wanted to share with with our audience. Can you tell us about the yes. So the book get the cycle and run has all these great stories right but sometimes we don't always have the time to just sit down and listen to roddy play one more story and so what if we had a version that just gave us those bullets. Those nuggets right. Oh the book is called. Get off the cycle and run. I have shorter digest version in his called the cycle sprint. Right quick run right right in the coin and it's literally going to be meeting made available this week and so if you guys would like i would love to give to you anybody. That's connected to the mindfulness tribe. Anybody that has been a a friend of bruce for a longtime or short time or it will be my sharing this with us. So if you tweet me or instagram me. All of my social media is at rodney. See burress the letter. C. birth b. u. r. I s. at ribisi berries. If you message me and you mentioned bruce It will be my honor to make sure that we get to that book. It'll be e copy of the book. And i would love you to have it man my free gift. Anybody connected to the trump rodney. Thanks for your generosity. Thanks for writing the book and thanks for being on mindfulness mode. Today they do to man. Yeah you're welcome all the best you buy now pay. Mindful tried thanks for listening for subscribing for reviewing the show at apple. Podcast and eric flint's cascade. Hypnosis center for being are valued sponsor erica. We really appreciate. You and erica is a terrific teacher of hypnosis and i know that because i am a graduate of her program. Now if you're a healer or a coach or a counselor or someone who just loves helping people consider the powerful results that can be achieved with hypnosis. You can become a hypnotist. Just like i did. Contact the team over at cascade. Hypnosis center dot com. If you'd like to work with me and break through some of those mind blocks maybe lose weight may be quit smoking. Maybe it's something else. I would be so to work with you and as you've already heard on the show. I'm doing an exciting new beta launch. I've got room for three people so reach out to me just to mindfulness mode. Dot com slash. Let's talk for a free short conversation. About what i can do to help you. I look forward to hearing from you. That's mindfulness mo- dot com slash. Let's talk so now take what we've learned today to reach new heights of calm focus and happiness stay in the mode.

bruce baltimore rodney Bruce florida maryland mr welsh Bruce langford burruss rodney Hopkins university Rodney kristen academy ms berge jacksonville capella university bob wire us bruce fall China
393 Movement Makers Community Founder, Eiji Morishita

Mindfulness Mode

39:56 min | 2 years ago

393 Movement Makers Community Founder, Eiji Morishita

"Mindfulness mode three hundred ninety three life throws things at you. Until you stand up to it and say, no, that's not acceptable. Reach new heights of calm, focus and happiness right here on today's mindfulness mode with me, your host in mind from this life coach Bruce Langford. Hey mindful tribe. Thanks for joining us again today. I wanted to share something with you for just a minute. My dad, well, he just passed away on the weekends. So this week has been filled with soul searching and working through emotions. I I have five brothers and two sisters, and I would say that we all knew my dad in in very different ways. He was a farmer by trade, and he had a passion for the written word for theater for music, and certainly for nature. He was an expert at reading the sky and predicting weather yet a tender sensitive artistic side, which I related to he loved the accordion more than anyone. I knew after he retired. He asked me to teach them how to play. It. So for two years, he came to my house for lessons, and I got to know him in a different way through that experience. After that he used to play a lot in seniors homes and nursing homes just to entertain the residents, and that was a very important very important thing for him. He also kept a diary, most of his life and encouraged me to do the same. He read a stories a lot when we were kids and encourage me to read and and be a reader he one time at a us bookstore. I remember you encourage me to get the book, my friend flick. It was later made into a movie, and it was about a horse relationship between the person horse, and well, he loved horses that was another one of his loves anyway, thanks for being a listening ear as I reminisce about my dad, and like like, any father son relationships, of course, we had challenges at times. But nevertheless, he was my dad, and and I. I loved him. So it's it's been a challenging week. You know, I was just thinking I would be honoured if you would drop me a line this week telling me about your father, and maybe about the mindfulness of your relationship with your father drop me a line Bruce at mindfulness mode dot com, and I do reply all emails, so send me an Email. Tell me about your father, and I will send out mindfulness mod t shirts to some of the people that respond. I am merely curious about your mindful relationship with your father, send it to Bruce at mindfulness mode dot com. That'll make my day. Thank you today. I'm featuring on the show, a friend. I've met twice both times in San Diego at Steve ole Shire's new media summit. This man has impacted the world in terrific ways. His mission is to empower one thousand leaders over the. The next ten years. He was also on the ground floor of a movement, which is now built over one hundred schools in Guatemala, and this is a very interesting story, which we get into in the interview sit back relax and enjoy my interview today with AG more Ashida Eiji are you in mindfulness mode today. Yes, I been preparing just for this podcast. That's just by knowing that I'll be on. I wanted to be more mindful state. So I could so that we we get a lot covered today. Super, and I'm I'm so excited to have you on because I met you a longtime ago and have always wanted to have you on the show. And then you reached out to me yesterday. And I'm like, yeah. Come on the show. This would be great. So it's kind of quick and impromptu, and I'm so glad you could make it today. So AG I'm going to read a bio about Unum minute. But before I do tell us what mindfulness means to you. I think. My wholeness is an intentional just the intend to become consciously aware of just the present moment and to get out of autopilot the autopilot just not thinking in. So it just really intentional in just the intentional action of getting consciously aware of the present ball. What's true? I know there are many times I feel like I'm on autopilot, especially when I look back like what did I accomplish today? Sometimes don't even remember driving to my studio because it's true, we get onto autopilot sometimes, but I do want to share about you AG more Ashida is the founder of the movement makers and you'll find that it movement makers dot org. It's a mission to empower one thousand leaders over the next ten years to start a movement to impact. Millions of lives is purposes to ignite souls to step into their calling. So that's incredibly powerful AG has been part of several movements including the spread of the sushi movement in North America, which is pretty fascinating and building over one hundred schools in Guatemala. He's currently creating building an advising dozens of movements throat is community on the world's toughest issues is clients. And the movement makers community have been featured on. In the New York Times bestseller list, Ted and many more. He's a genius in creating practical and tactical solutions to create fun, easy and profitable, speaking training, coaching businesses. So it's great to talk with you today. Like, I said and you've done so much. You've got so many projects. And and I just love this. This thing where you're empowering one thousand leaders over the next ten years where are you in that journey? How many leaders do you feel you've already empowered while? So were over. Were about ten percent over the last ten years, but right now, currently working with about forty forty right now actively and so what I expect is that will get over the hundred Mark this year at been pick up steam as well us that we could hit that thousand as well to empower leaders because when all is said done people look up to leaders when the problems or challenges or Versi arises, you know, unless one is in back leadership mindset, people looking who we follow who's in charge. And and I think it's really important to have not only just leaders step up, ethical leaders and leaders with integrity leaders who are not ego based leaders, but servant leaders who are looking for the good of the whole. So these leaders are mostly coaches for people in business is that true on day are into it's it's a mix. Of their some like, some of them are coaches, others are business owners, their CEO's of high tech companies web technologies that can change the planet in terms of us, some of the pieces regarding climate change or protecting the waters uh. So so we do have a couple we have like two segments. We have one which is the grassroots movement. Were we work with lot of speakers coaches and trainers, and this is where we're educating new paradigm. So I helped build them out and shoot the paradigm through education. So, and that's the grassroots movement that we have is stashed companies who have products services or technologies that could really change the game in how things are done. Just like how SpaceX SpaceX is not a client of mine, but you know, they changed the game in incentive having NASA pay hundreds of millions of dollars for these rockets or shuttles. They do it. For fraction the cost of those. Some of the companies that I- buys. There are a ton of them. But I'm selective of who. I choose the ones that are projects that are seem most exciting or interesting impactful while. So there's some interesting projects one is why can't some of it is I wish I could share some of the nondisclosure ready measures and things like that. But let me just share with you. There's some pieces that can tell some of the technologies that working with can help with all the natural disasters. Around. You know, you're in Canada and North America, there's more wildfires more teens more earthquakes more things going around. I understood is technology there. Another one is a regarding water where a lot of the water is not living waters like dead water. Like worst not living like were from fresh from a mountain spring, you know, natural spring, while only one percent of all waters are really alive. And and when we drink living water than our body regenerates star slipping through a consistent life, but it's dead water. It just you know, it's not as powerful. So there's some technologies or. And things don't available that will be coming out in the marketplace that can actually revitalize our water. So does our water need to be filled with minerals in order to be living water? Does that what does that? What that really means? Yes. That's a big that's a big chunk. That's a big chunk of it is the minerals. And there's a like a crystal lies ation like living things like, you know, the crystals grow and anything that's living. You're growing your dying right that paradigm and same with crystals in. So as long as the water is pure and clean and through the natural processes in stuff. Yes. So minerals is a key component because the purpose of water is to actually deliver mineral store body. Okay. Well, I I wanna ask you about leaders, and mindfulness, and when you train leaders to be the best they can possibly be what elements of mindfulness. Do you? Teach. Well, one of the key things we teach them as we t- stomach day haven't daily practice in terms of a morning ritual and an evening ritual is well is really consciously. Choose what thoughts that they put in their head. And so I believe the of the brain is like a computer, and we're actually the program in that's the big ship. I is there's an old yoga saying that a mind is a great servant, but a horrible master. Yes. And endow. We are the ones we become aware that we're the master minds. We can consciously choose to put in in put new thoughts to remind especially early in the morning and late at night. When are so conscious is most open to a week. A reprogram our mind in creating euro pathway of this is where in thinking, grow rich. They call it auto suggestion. In their psycho Cybernetics where we can reprogram our minds. So those are some exercises as well as as well as some visualizations whilst that they can visualize in. So it's it's almost like a self guided meditation of visualization of what in overtime overtime. This becomes Perm lean brained, a less, and it can't be broken less. There's a significant emotional vent that breaks it. So we highly recommend practice because everything I gets created, you know, in our mind, I am physically while I want to transition over to this topic of education, and I know in my bio, I read that you have helped to implement well, it says building over one hundred schools in Guatemala. How did you get into that? And tell us about your passion for doing this. Well, yeah, what was interesting as the project that I was at the beginning. And and. Generally when people start their movements, and it's not like they have it all planned out from the get-go often. It's it just unfolds as go. So I was at a class project in San Diego, California in one person shared out, and we were supposed to choose a class or group and a person played this video on YouTube with a man with a sign this free, hugs. And everyone got so inspired in touch from that video that's outlets spread out hugs in San Diego in. So we all those group of forty of us and we pulled together one percent designed the website. Another person created a t shirt, a we were able to accept donations than than we end. Then another person broaden media. So all within a four day you bender. We're able to put up a website star getting donations. Have accustomed song Rin for a give out hugs. And Bishop bead said yet, go and get the news. The news the show on their local TV. And we're blown away how much has happened in. So the the the the class was so excited that out of the metaphor core teen, so it's like the eighty twenty a group of eight state along some west bring this out to other places when they went to your invent went to end on once they go to a water Malla, they found the bigger picture because one of the core team members had a brilliant idea. It was really a crazy idea. And I believe genius is taking two seemingly unrelated things and making the connection. And so it's like really binding that peanut butter chocolate combination normal. It's like, you know, right now with Lisa's like, of course. But before that, no one would ever think putting peanut butter chocolate together. And so someone said they thought the lynyrd in trash and sawn said, let's take these plastic bottles in stuck trash inside these plastic autos and Bill schools out of now, and they put chick. Wire around it. And then in the first bottle will was created. So it's all to problems at one time. It solved the trash removal of the unresolvable trash ball in a built schools. So for kids to asleep play in study. So since then this is since about two thousand six over honor spills have been Bill there's walling tourism trips. There's Guatemala bottle SCO projects. Other countries have followed suit in it. It's doing magic where something that's unremarkable was recital to purpose while, you know, purposeful outcome that must be so exciting to know that you were in a way back there talking with that original group where this kind of evolved out of all absolutely end the lesson. I got the takeaway got from that is like a you don't need to have the whole vision. You just need a ball that that intuition or that energy? Of just moving forward. And the answers will be shown showing Aggie go just like Martin Luther King said you don't need to see the whole staircase. You just need to see the next step in those. You know, a real life example that I have a personal experience with very cool. Well, I know you have some experience with sushi and your family bringing sushi to North American. I'd love to hear that story because I'm fascinated by that as well. Yeah. Well, absolutely. I mean, something on proud of my great grandparents came over to the US early on in the nineteen twenties. They opened the first fresh on nineteen twenty nine so it's right around the depression era and then during World War Two our family our family, flew back to Japan to skate persecution. And then once the war was done. We came back in the fifties reopen the restaurant ended the sixties we open the we along with it was a collaboration. There was a manufacturing company. Another family. We brought the sushi bar concept to America. So. The sixties mostly in the beginning of Univation, those mostly Japanese nationals Japanese imigrants evening first. And then the seventies. We had some people who are non Japanese star it gained a and then in the eighties. I was in junior high time we open we open one of the first bass, we believe it's one of the prime most likely, but first bass food sushi restaurant in Santa Monica count were in a mall. I was waiting tables fast casual before fast Casuals liver and in the eighties. It just started a popularity started growing were the invention of California roll and these roles came about and the innovation was that the American palate didn't like the bitter taste of seaweed. So what happened with the roles is in traditional sushi puts the rice inside, the California staus sushi is putting the rice on outside, ignore tastes all. And so. If you look at California rolls of Rice's on your outside in the seaweed on inside. And the that allowed it to be more palatable to the American palate, it became popular the early doctors payments. They're the ones in the eighties. Others hop show Miami vice they have those, you know, those white jackets in the neon t shirts, and they came out serving them as kids we serve some celebrities actors and things like that. So they tend to be the more early adopters than the mainstream. And then it just became more and more popular people started getting creed will instead of crab. Why don't want us to nights that of this? Why don't we use shrimp or something like that something cooked to allow people who who are afraid of eating anything raw to start eating that now. And so started evolving involving and now like, you know, sushi serve at Costco's served at seven Levin served at. Served at school. So is a big difference. Because when I grew up when I grew up is made fun of ridiculed for the type of food. I brought in a mess out. That's fish Bain and as and going on field trips. All I wanted was a Brown paper bag with the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. So it's interesting now if you what I knows what's not you grow. If you're growing up or you're going through something best scenes, not full if you live long enough, it'll be cool at some point. That's very interesting. And so are you connected in any way with the the sushi business now while I am still not specifically in a sense. I mean, I do like sometimes advise on some of the marketing I did work on growing the business when I was working there over ten years ago. But right now, my parents are retiring so retiring, so we're just setting up for it up for the the restaurant to change hands while so so, but there is some pieces where I'm not directly involved, but I do handle anything that involves marketing or anything around that. Well, I'm fascinated with what you're doing with movement makers. And I know that you've got quite a team working together to make this happen with to empower one thousand leaders tell us about your team, and how you make this happen. And how you reach out to people and fine people to help with this. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, I've agreed team of coaches and trainers as well. So we have several people on our team. So our operations team. They handle the admin admin in operations the finance. The Yuki P is while. So that's by that keeps the engine running have been a team of coaches who coach our clients in terms of helping them clarify their message their vision. Also, help them with the the monetize ING of their business. A we teach you know, how to sell a how to how to how to generate income through selling in. And also also I have a trainer in a she is. She's also our creative directors while and she's one of our star students where in she's a former creative director for speed Austrailia. So a she's in charge of all our branding in our messaging, and we actually co-creator messaging together become messaging one of my strengths as well. But but also she also runs our monetize movement program because she was a star student in her first two years out to Zabel to generate two hundred thousand dollars in income in her first two years out coming from corporate not having any entrepreneur or or business us, you know, like a a sales experience before. So she she learned our system in now now guys teaches our clients while while she also growing her or her name's Tiffany, Scott, and she has a women's movement. She built a community just in Los Angeles within like a short period in less than years. She built it to over thousand members women women entrepreneurs women women leaders, and now she's opening chapters around the country and around the country called sister suffers or women get together have supper together. Mass mind collaborate together. And that's a that's a curly national, and we'll be global movement moving forward of empowering women. Wow. That is very cool. Who is your ideal client if somebody came to you today who would be the ideal person that you could assist with all this? Yes. Well, I believe it's it's more psychographic. So I think my ideal client is someone who has a desire to really make a positive impact in the world. They also are action oriented, so so my ideal client is someone who doesn't need everyone needs to work on their inner game at some level. But they don't need like a like an engine overhaul. If you will from mechanic perspective what they need is there already a high. They are performing they need fine tuning tweaks like orange turned screw to make everything work ball. The sweet spot, and we work with people who never on generated any income in the business before foreign help them get to a, you know, five to ten thousand dollars a month. So that they can be in that profession to the sweet spot. His at least for me. Personally. We have for mumbles is someone who has a old practice someone who has a full practice, and they're getting they're on the verge of burn out because they can't they haven't figured a way how to increase their income and free up their time. So oftentimes, they're ones who still charge on hourly basis or by session basis in their book. There were in, you know, forty hours if the hours a week or more and their income is cap for for this type of individual. I can literally with my eyes closed out them double their income and reduce the workload from forty fifty hours a week to thirty hours even twenty five hours a week. So that would be and that's a small percentage. That's like maybe I'd say out of the population of entrepreneurs or talking about baby under five percent. But for the most are psycho graphically, we look for people who walks who who want to make a greater impact want to be a better leader action oriented, they're passionate about what they do. And they are willing to develop their skill set to be great at what they do. They're driven by producing a quality program or service. So oh, you know, though, we can promote quality while he's the all conscious. That's really, wow, that's exciting. And I know that I talked with people from time to time who would love to be coaches, and they would love to put all their expertise together and make this happen to make the world. A better place. Just like you are and it sounds like you are the right person to connect and make that happen. Yeah. Especially if someone isn't sure what their unique solution is that others would consider prices. I think that is one of my gifts is to find out based on one experience. What is the area of expertise that the marketplace with value the most? And so because I believe one our in our Zona genius out produces for hours in our weakness. So one hour being you know, in front of the stage out produces forty hours of me doing technical word for Admiral, you know? So it's really staying in that zone genius than and a really finding out what people value. So I I've been many different sectors. And so I understand like what people walked well. A G I've worked in bullying prevention for quite a while, you know, that and I. Always liked to talk to my guess about that. And how mindfulness kind of intersects with bullying prevention. Do you have a story about bullying that you could share with us today on the show? Yeah. Absolutely. Well, I think English is my second language and group in the eighties and nationalism was very high. But I, but I was bullied a mostly from fourth grade all the way through junior high. And and definitely I think mindfulness. What's interesting is this is. I was bullied in in. Yeah. In elementary school in junior high and then on Saturday school, which is Japanese full. I was a bully myself. So I was up both a full I was being bullied. I was a bully in a Japanese goal. So a couple of things is from from being bullied. I think mindfulness would've been really old for me to check into my emotions and the process those emotions versus, you know, versus repress his suppress hand or or just a voiding it completely. I think it also give me a perspective of what's going on. That I wouldn't be in reaction mode. I yield to spawn is. Well, I think mindfulness would have been very helpful in. I think it would allow me to to actually address mine feelings of instead of instead of just ignoring them. So I think that's one one key piece. And. Second as a bully in the and no justification, or my parents brought might myself my younger brother, two years younger might sister into Japanese school Saturday school late in will late in the game for me. So we we were all put in the same grade when us so when I was thirteen the other kids were nine, and so so unnecess- like, maybe I was physically bullying, the younger kids, but the younger kids were emotionally kind of bullying me's, saying, hey, you must be your so much older using rate. You may not be smart. You know, you're the dumb one. So I, you know, and so the only way knew how to act out was physically, you know, nothing major has happened. But you know, there was intimidation or the bigger stuff like that. But I think mindfulness would allow what allowed me to just understand and become aware. Of the situation to handle my emotions better and also understand navy. Some of the resentment I had to my parents for bringing me into school at at three or four years later in the game. And put me in a situation where it's not awful for me to to make friends at appeared. Have you been able to let go of some of those feelings like that that anger with your parents, but bringing you into this tough situation. I never thought about this. I've let go of a lot of things with my parents. And I think you know, there's a process that I used to forgive forgive myself. And forget about this can you share that process with us. Yeah. It's it's a it's a process call whole porno porno. Yeah. And it's a Hunan, and so just close my eyes, and I see the person on stage, and then nervous worthy energetic ties are just imagine like a laser sewer with my hands. Just Cutty off words at then even pulling up any remaining from my Chester any remaining remnants of that bitterness resentment or anger in an imagined just white light of a loving compassion just wash it away. And it's clear so energetically feel clear nice them onstage in the same. I forgive you. Forgive me. I love you. You're them. Save back. The I run this or by parents for. Other people my life. And then the most important person is to forgive myself at the end, so because that's near the. Almost always not always, you know, the person needs forget the mouse years this process, right? Well, thanks for sharing that with us. That's great AG as we move forward. In the interview, I want to ask you five quick answer questions. So just thirty second answers are the first ones who is one person who has influenced mindfulness in your life. I I'd say it would be Mahatma Gandhi and in his practices and just the way he lives. Right. Absolutely. How is mindfulness affected your emotions AG? Oh, it's it's it's my full nece has been extremely helpful especially when it comes to making decisions as well. Based on what I know what works for me is when my emotions are at even your source settle if it's not too high or too low or just going up and down. There's an old saying one emotions go up and goes down. So mindfulness helps settle the emotions of processing motions. So I can make decisions from place a piece in place a piece in place. Enjoy I like what you just said when emotions go up intelligence goes down that's worth repeating in there. Yeah. That is an old saying tell us how breathing has been a part of your mindfulness practice. Yeah. That's been that's been very very powerful. Because I mean, the things that I used for mindfulness breath work is important of just just stopping and just paying attention to my breath. So there's several different types of just taking depressant through my nose and out through my mouth, but holding you know, so I do various like I do like one four two counts or four four or counts in that depends on the day, but the breath work afterwards. My body feels energized by my feels clear, and it really helps with a with just just it's almost like taking a suit or motion baggage off my plate. But also the other ways that I you know, the other ways is by walking or running yourself might form of meditation while great if you could recommend book related to mindfulness. What book would that be? Yes. Well, it's not a specific. Mindfulness book like a how to a book I would recommend of the benefits of mindfulness? Or is what I while. It's a book I love is. It's by Michael singer called the surrender experiment, and it's a great book on the arse surrender and being present the moment, and and, you know, paying attention to what the universe asks or call she to do. And and he's a real life example of how he's gone through. He's been requested to do things. And he he all he wants to do a Yogi of meditate all day, but the universe. Call to start a construction company star a software company, and then when and then having some challenges with the and getting, you know, getting violently opposed by the government trying to take him down. But seen other side of the you know, when base, you know, it really shows the example what mindfulness practices can do. And. How you can stay. The course. Oh, what I love about it, Moses. It's a true story. You know? That's why I love about my movies based on truth and chew stories. It gives us a real life model that we can do regardless of what challenges are obstacles. I love that book too. I just let it up put all of this in our show notes at mindfulness mode dot com. And of course, we're talking boat movement makers dot org. So if you if you forgot that is how you contact this organization that AG is part of now my last question is can you share an app which can help with mindfulness? Well, there's yeah, I don't use it that often, but there's app call calm. You know, where it's it's very simple app to to just to practice with the breathing exercises as well. So I like hall unjust. Just as support. There's there's there's a different apt which is not specifically mindfulness, but it's called possessed peasy is easy. And this is a great app to take naps and add by neuro beads. So if you want that energetic, we set of your mind, or so I think Napster very powerful in European culture siestas and afternoon. Naps are part of the daily piece in I don't I don't think we're supposed to be awake for sixteen twenty hours straight. I think having that little break in between a meditation and mindfulness does it's almost like a nap resets while. But that's a great app. I think if you'd like to take ten or twenty minute power now or so we set for your day. And when I do that like if I take one between like one or two o'clock than I have enough energy for another Floyd our? Oh, that's great. Yeah. That that sounds like a terrific app. I have not heard of it before. So I. I'm looking forward to trying it. I liked those apps with the binomial beats. I think they're really really interesting what it can do to your brain for sure. One day about bullying guy, forgotten mentioned is I think life can sometimes act like a bully, and so life throws things at you until you stand up to it and say, no, that's not acceptable. Like, we kinda got recurring patterns of certain situations showing up in her life until they say, no not anymore. I'm not gonna accept that. Because we don't get. Will you expect a will always get we'll will accept? So when we increase, our standards or razor standards of what's acceptable to us. I think life NS nine I think it's not into harm. But it's really to guide us in in in in our development growth. Right. I really liked that what you added there. I'm glad you did at it. Because it's true life can truly be a bully to us and we can bully ourselves. And we we have to stand up to it. So thanks for mentioning that. Now as we move toward the. I wanna make sure everybody can contact you through movement makers dot org. And of course, you're on social media movement makers almost everywhere is there anywhere else. Or any other way, we can connect with you. Well, I think those are the best ways is on Instagram. It's at real movement makers, and then on Facebook is really good. And I know my name is tough to to spell if you just look up e I j I the more she'd friend me on Facebook or all my page. Oh, yeah. E I j I Morris Shida dot com and more Ashida is M O R. I S H I T A, but on the movement makers dot org. The best ways there's a link to download our raid became one chocolates. And that's way, you just get Email communications through us and lace connect with us as well. And so those are some. Pieces. So you feel like you have this calling or moving is inside you even know what it is. I love to stay in contact in and support you in your journey and before I hit record. I know you said that you had a free gift, which is at movement makers dot org forward slash gift. Right. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. So there you could get the checklist and we have a series of emails. Welcome you to share what movement bakers is about and some resources at and guiding you along the journey. So you'll hear from us. You know, you'll hear from us on a consistent basis this while and and that's great, and you can reply back to any of those emails and my team or myself will be up to see your is there too. So a now we check our emails things like that. That's awesome while AG. Thanks so much for being here. And I can't wait for all of my listeners to hear this episode. It's going to be exciting. Yeah. Thank you for having me. It's an honor in. Grateful to be here. Thanks bye. Now. Thanks so much for joining us today on mindfulness mode for show notes for every episode checkout mindfulness mode dot com and type the guest's name or the episode number into the search bar. You can also go mindfulness mode dot com slash whatever episode number. You like if you've enjoyed this podcast, you could help us out by subscribing to mindfulness mode. Wherever you listen, whether it's on I tunes or Stitcher Google play Spotify, so many places you can hear mindfulness mode, so hit subscribe and share because that truly helps our show this sleep naturally guided meditation that I have for you just for mindful tribe members it's to help you receive the deep easy sleep that you deserve sleep naturally and you'll be able to fall asleep. Beasley get more work done to moral and feel better about it. Rest comfortably without effort. Go to mindfulness mode dot com slash sleep for your free. Download so remember some scribe ING and sharing helps keep mindfulness mode on the air till next time mindful tribe us what we've learned today to reach new heights of calm, focus and happiness, stay in the mode.

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373 Expose The Monster Under Your Bed With Kim Fiske

Mindfulness Mode

42:02 min | 2 years ago

373 Expose The Monster Under Your Bed With Kim Fiske

"Mindfulness mode three hundred seventy three. So really if you could look at fear, the monster the lie the lie is still my little four year old that doesn't know. It's okay. Welcome to mindfulness mode. I'm Bruce Langford your host and mindfulness life coach great to have you here today. And if you would subscribe to the show if you enjoy it that's much appreciated if your brand new welcome great to have you here. Please share the news about mindfulness mode, and you probably are here because you care about being focused. You care about mindfulness. You wanna become more grounded? Well, I have recorded another new meditation not too long ago. And it's about awakening with focus zippo getting started in the morning. So many of my listeners emailed me and said could you record a meditation that will just help me be alert in the morning? So I don't even need caffeine. I don't even need coffee. So I've recorded this one awakened with focus about being alert. It's about feeling invigorated fresh dynamic for the. Day. It's all about bringing out your vibrancy. So you can feed those around you and be the energetic person you desire to be you can download this free guided meditation at mindfulness mode dot com forward slash awaken with focus awaken with focus sit back relax and enjoy. Today's interview as we talk about the monster under the bed mindful tribe. I am delighted to tell you that. I have Kim Fisk with me today, Kim are you in mindfulness mode? I am Bruce. As much as I can. Oh me too me too. It feels good Kim. Fisk is a respected professional keynote speaker. She's a life coach, she's an author. She's a seven figure earner, and she's a thought leader she sought after for her ability to convey to audiences provocative concepts and practical ways to deal with what she has coined as the monster. Under the bed Kim has been able to change the way people view their relationships their careers life goals and journeys by giving them the ability to acknowledge their proverbial monster while providing mechanisms for coping with it this process has provided relief and inner peace to those who are seriously seeking. And thank you for all you do Kim because this is something. That is so much needed. What does mindfulness mean to you and your life Kim? Well, how it applies to me is basically when I when I learned the definition. Observing one Scott kind of detaching from the thoughts that we have that became the Genesis for mindfulness for me. Like when I started just detaching that what was true was something that I think just because I think it doesn't make it true. No, no. That was a huge piece. I was like, whoa. Wait, hold the phone. Wait. I never heard anyone talk about that. And then I started Reeb reading John cabinets in. I don't know if I'm saying his name right bete-noire on the first books. I read was wherever you go. There. You are or something like that. And all that blew me away that into actually become aware of your thoughts and either decide to align or observe one of the other. But you could choose that was huge. So you have an amazing ability to help people face their fears where did that ability come from? Well, Bruce, I've been working with people in people businesses relationship marketing, I've been a theatre and music director large groups of people I've directed, and and so in all my people, I just have always had people around me, and I've always been an observer of people and myself included. So I've just kind of gathered data and everybody I've worked with no matter in what avenue in what no matter. How successful they seemed how perfect they seemed how together they just everyone felt that seemed like everyone had the same nine little question in the in the soul. Like, it would actually wasn't a question. It was an answer. Like, I'm not. Okay. I'm not enough. I'm not acceptable something's wrong with me. And that always intrigued me, and I felt it in myself. And so over the years as I've coached people as I've spoken of as just been dinner conversations with close friends because I just go deep. Don't stage kit chatty, very long. Let's go. Let's go deep right now. Right. So they'll tell you week we go deep pretty quick. But I'm it's just interesting. It's interested me how everyone has that. And. Most everyone maybe there's a couple that haven't. I just don't remember them who they are right now. But. So that interested me, and so then in in digging deeper about that that's where this the monster under the bed metaphor kind of started to develop. And then I've, you know, it's just a metaphor. I made up, but it seems to fit so yeah, I think it does fit. What's your monster under the bed, Kim? Well, can I lay a little bit of the groundwork about what it is in general? Of course, you can. Okay. And then I'll go into my specific one and everyone can may be self identified for their their own. But the premises is. It sounds like a kid's book. In fact, the full title is the monster under the bed, the subtitle kind of tells you more of what the purpose of the book is, and it is uncovering a lie that drives us, and so I remember in the whole heart of the introduction of the book talks about when I was a kid, and I did really have the fear of something was under my bed a monster. And if I put my hand out over the edge, you know, I'd have to tuck in. Tight make sure I didn't if I had to pee in the night. All my goodness. We're in trouble because he's going to get you, you know, like as and then, you know, everyone listening to this goes. Yeah. But that was that was not true. Well, of course, you can say that now, and, but when you're young you don't have the rat. This part of your your prefrontal cortex brain doesn't fully develop really it most people till mid twenties. So when we're young how we process life cognitively after we hit like three four years old when cognition like, oh, I'm not a part of this woman's body anymore. Like when cognition really starts kicking in. We are already pre set. We have some preset default settings in our wiring. And this is really plays into this metaphor because. Number one is we are a primate. We're in a primate species. So it's already innate in our wiring, Bruce that we need to have we need to be taken care of. And we need to be okay in our community loners, not in the process. So that we didn't choose that. It's it's just up there with breathing and drinking and eating, you know, all those things it's in there. Another thing. That is part of our wiring is anything unknowable is unsurvivable fear. There is a there is an important aspect of fear in our survival brain that really we can't downplay that we have to say, well that was an important feature to bring with us through the through the centuries, you know, millennia of evolution. We needed to fear something unknown since some of us as adults, we still fear, the unknown. And we judge ourselves for it. So I kind of want to take away all self judgment about these things because it when people realize, oh, my brain was automatically wired that way. Oh, there's some relief to that. So when we're young we just process with our survival brain and the survival brain middle that's part of the limbic part of the brain the old ripped Pilion brain. This little kid me is a little kid didn't realize that. I just processed emotionally. And when I felt. Unsafe so to speak. I felt like I maybe wasn't. Okay. Maybe I don't go into the book like when it specifically happened or it doesn't matter to me like when or even if it was one event or if it a combination of events, but it was a point when we were little because we did not have reasoning and logic where we made a decision about ourselves and our worth like our our oak heinous. With complete. It's a lie. It's when I called him the lion. The monster are kind of synonymous, okay? Right. Under the bed that we're not. Hey, and therefore, the regulators struck to say, well you to be okay. Because that's a fight or flight situation. Right. Like, you gotta be okay. That emotion that hit the middle doesn't sit there and go. Oh, Honey, you're okay. Intrinsically valuable and condition. It doesn't do that. Does it? Response to the emotion. It feels it is an emotional driven. And when it senses fear at the intensity that my little four year old had it like danger danger will Robinson something's wrong, and my mom might have just pulled my hand or slap my hand away from the hot stove because she loves me so much. You know, all it doesn't have any logical connection at all. But it's the decision. I make about myself the amid Doulos that I'm not, okay, the fear that that incorporates the Middle East this happens in a now, this is like. The and then the middle. It says you gotta be okay. So go go go be, okay. Because you've got to be okay. Right. Then we switch modes from. Based on ally that we're not to proving that we are. So then, Bruce we look around at our our family, basically, our our environment our tried, and we say what is valued in these. What are these people valuing? Okay. That's better do that. So I grew up. Singing, I grew up in church. I grew up performing I played the piano. Of course, I did. Because my all my family was musical all my family played instruments. All my family say, I don't remember ever not doing that. Because the middle guided me perfectly, well, I needed to do it. So am I happy that I have? Absolutely. But the difference is now because I have this brain. And this is the brain. I'm speaking to to you and your listeners because you do have this break what happens is this brain. Once it's fully developed is already pre wired by the inaccurate brain. By the faulty wiring of our four year old, and we don't know it because again back to our thought, we believe our thoughts one. More little facet than I'm gonna come up for air and let you kind of ask a question about that. But one more facet that keeps that lie alive. Inside us is there's a part of our brain. Also, that's called the ridiculous activating system. Maybe you know, it in the book, I call it a mental bloodhounds and the mental bloodhounds job it again doesn't question anything. It just says it has some instincts royals like food and sex like it's going to keep you on alert for someone to procreate with because that's part of our species. And it's also going to keep you aware of where food is because you've got to do that to have sex. So you you gotta eat taps acts. And that's really all your old brain cares about needing. Create really don't stop sex from create. I don't know if you're here. So. What? No, no, no, no, that's fine. No, we can definitely talk about sex. That's for sure eat and have sex how sex any other order. There orders fine. While you got it. In order to have sex. It's going to be one of those messages or survival instinct to Willie, but then the other part is condition response. And so the mental bloodhounds ridiculous activating system. It's job is to be the gatekeeper to make sure that you only get the data in because we are inundated with stimuli and data kluber mobile, you know, about everything that's going on in our environment. Everything that's going on in our body. So it's it's conditioned response. We have conditioned let's say my four year old has conditioned it because the minute I said emotionally that I'm not, okay. That emotion hit guess what? It's job is to do to only show you the data that proves you're right. Of course. It's only money that data in have any of you been. Shopping for car, right? And. You know, you you you get excited. I'm gonna get a blue Mustang. You know, or whatever red, Toyota, whatever, and you already you get it. It's and what you've done by making that decision because there was some emotion involved in it like I'm gonna feel good people are gonna like in that are I'm gonna feel hot and sexy whenever you're emotion was you'd given the the mental bloodhounds the set. So when you're out driving around the next time. What do you see you see all those red Mustangs most blue? Most blue. Don't you? They're just everywhere. It's weird because that is your it's doing its job perfectly. We've lived in. We bought a house once that was by a train track. We didn't know it. Right. We were house during the day and home. My gosh. Our first night we spent there there was a train like twice during the night the train. Woo imagine that well gosh, I'm going to never get sleep here. Well after the after the bloodhound settled down that this wasn't significant to survival. I slept through it newborn babies, right? Moms that slept like a rock before guess what we have emotional significance. Now, we hear every little whimper. So that's the job if not for this part of our brain. Honestly, Bruce, I really think that the lie could have had a hope of like we we stop believing in Santa we stop believing. Right. The tooth fairy. At think, this is what kept this part of our brain kept only showing us the. Evidence of what we what we told. It was true confirmation bias is another word like you're only going to keep seeing what you've always seen here. Only going to hear what you've always heard until you become aware of this. And so I talk about this in the book like how to rewire that how to give it a new message given a new truth, but it's got to be accompanied by emotion that is going to do it. Anyway, there's my there's my premise. I love the way you explain it. Because it makes it so easy to understand. And it's not easy for everybody to understand these concepts. But you take in more complex concepts. And you've simplified them to the point that they are easy to grasp. And so yeah, that is wonderful. Yeah. That is wonderful. And so if you if you're if you're wondering, you know, what was that book again monster under the bed by Kim? Yeah. Go to my name because only reason I got away with that title, by the way, this is what I was told. I don't know if that's true. But is that because there's already children's books. Called that. But because I was in the self help Jonah a book categories than I could get away with that. But it's monster under the bed uncovering the lie that drives you jibes us by Kim Fisk. And if you just go to my website, that's the best thing. Because right now the books not even outlaw. I don't know when this is gonna air routes that was another question. I should ask you. But it's it's not out till early October. So right. Okay. Well, the book will be out by the time this airs, so you can check out the book, and it's Kim Fiske F, I S K E, and it's Kim Fisk dot com. So how easy is that? And yeah, it's it's great that people like you take these concepts and put them into a form that we can understand because we've been all hearing those voices in our heads for years. We've all been hearing those stories and wondering why do I think this way? Why do I feel this way? And yet, it's really pretty much. A universal thing. Isn't it? Absolutely. And so where it shows up really half of the book, I've identified ten there's more even since I wrote the book, I've had a couple more come to mind that could be on this list. So it's probably an ever discovering list, but there's ten monster tracks, I call them and those tracks are actual behaviors responses. How we actually how the monster actually shows up in our life because some people go, oh, man. I don't know about that. Well, okay. We'll let me guess what track? Number one is Bruce. What is tracked under one fear is? Now, your is it anger. No, oh, no anger is going to be under the buttons. And I think that's five or six these aren't in any particular order, except I think one is one I think one is at the center of all the other ones. And that is shame. Shame is our first feeling that we had when we were little like, we're not. Okay. Right. That's that feeling. I'm not okay. So and then shame drives a lot of the other ones. And so let me just tell you about this conversation. I had this isn't in the book. So you you're getting it here. It's not in the book. But I was on a plane the other day at everyone. You know, we start to chat, they find out writing a book, blah, blah, blah. They wanna hear oh, what's your book about like? Well, you got five hours. Okay. When we hit. Shame. I was talking about shame. And it was interesting because the subject came up about an rose. I hope this isn't okay. Subject to talk about on your show again. It's there may be with sex. But it's it's pooping that's little kids. How many little kids have you noticed that when they're that age of they're wearing a diaper? They're walking around their cognition is this is the key. They're cognitive brain is starting to really put things together. And they go hide in a corner or they go under the table or they go behind the couch to poop. And this woman goes oh my gosh. Y'all my kids did that all the time. And I go, you know, what that's shameful? That's a shameful behavior of that two or three year old not two or three year old has some shame around pooping. And you know, what she does. Well, what are we do when we change a baby's diaper? So if you guys have babies at home right now, don't do this. If you can see if you can change this because there's no when I changed. My poopie diaper babies. I'd go. Right. I might have even been smiley about it. But no is something emotionally a little bit off unacceptable about it. Yes. Ooh, stinky. So what does the kid do when they're old enough? They start going. Oh, there is something shameful about pooping. There's something that. Ooh. There's with ever this is. I gotta go hide. And so isn't that interesting Bruce together? No. It's very interesting about that whole piece of shame. And then, of course, it just grows from there. Yeah. Yeah. I actually you bring up fear. So let me give you my philosophy. And actually I've. You know, I read a lot. I'm an avid reader as probably most of your listeners are or they wouldn't even be on this podcast people that are grow and understand life in themselves. And and get better. That's what we do is read. Well, one of the books, I'm gonna get credited lives Gobert on in big magic. And she talks about her definition or distinction of fear really represents what I'm people. Go kick fear that face or I'm gonna get over fear, overcome fear. Her her story is she wrote eat pray love also in big magic. She's nominal at her thing about fears. She goes I discovered that it was not it. I knew that fear was going to be with me if I ever wanna create if I ever want my genius. Or in our case, if we wanna grow like, if if you ever want to grow or get expand, your consciousness or grow at all as a person. Yeah. That you will trigger what I call the monster. Or what I what she calls fear because fear. Or the that part of our brain likes the status quo. Don't mess it up. Just stay as you are stay this way. Because again, the unknown could be unsurvivable. And then if we have a lot of evidence, why were we will probably fail it what we're doing. We've got the bloodhounds that have just brought us inundated with evidence of everything we've done in our life that we screwed up. Right. So you're overcoming all that. But she goes, I told fear that you know, what you're going to be my companion on this in this journey. We're on together. We're we're going together to not have. You means I won't have my genius. While have my creative heart me. So if I want that you're coming with me, I know, but you're going to sit in the back seat, and you're not going to touch any of the dials. I like that. And it's so true, everybody talks about fear. How do I get rid of fear? How do I overcome fear and fear is a healthy part of life? It's a healthy part of moving forward and challenging ourselves. And and being better people as we move on this journey of life. Absolutely. So now, and in fact, some people that get like I'm gonna just stop out at like, there's angry energy about it. No. Because guess what the middle only sent only processes is emotion. So the more you fight or you try to use willpower against it. That's the worst because you're just fueling Millar, you're willing the more you fight. So really if you could look at fear, the monster the lie the lie is still my little four year old that doesn't know. It's okay. That's who needs my love. It's that's that's who needs this unconditional. And it has to be rewired emotionally because that's how you know. The you know, the law heads lot it's called what's fight. What fires together wires together? Have you heard that? Yes, our brains were actually wired, and so the law's the law my little theory of how this works. It us is my theory. So take it for what it's worth but emotions fire because there's nothing cerebral. We don't live our lives by what we know. We don't live very little of what we do in our life is because we know we should or we know it's the best thing if that we would all be perfect. Right. So it's emotional what has been wired? How is our operating system? What's house? Are you know, how have we been programmed and programming was done with firing and wiring and firing? I believe what is when something either for the good of the bed. Again. It doesn't make a judgment. It just says, oh, this is this is significant either good or the bed. So it fire. Here's synapses bring neuropathy. Start being connected, and what wires is repetition. So because of that because of the bloodhound aspect of it. That's what keeps us. It probably would have been unwired as we grew in our in our cognitive brains as in Iraq, logical brains as those kind of developed like what I did when I finally maybe eight years old lifted up the bedspread to look because I was scared to death though. Like, the fear was real like, I don't care that fear. My heart was pounding. I felt like I was gonna throw up 'cause what if there is something there. But then my brain was gone like kind of what kids do a Santa, right? So we don't even have a fireplace. How does that work? You know what I mean? Exactly. Yes. So but under that bedspread, and so when you're willing to go look there, but the mental bloodhounds keep giving you all kinds of stuff if you start fighting that it's going to keep it's going to keep triggering. It's gonna keep triggering the flight or the fight response. That's all it knows to give that old part of your brain. So just love it. Like when you have these fearful thoughts because Bruce, right. That's it just comes as a thought. Then it produces an emotion thoughts. Come before he motions, by the way. Yes. When you feel sucky like you go. Oh, gosh. I feel like crap today. What's wrong, I'm off? So it was funky. Something wrong case. Something's if you will stop right there. And don't go to self judgment. Just keeps the cycle going. Stop it become an observer of it instead of an her with it just observant go above it. Go. It's interesting. I feel like crap today. Wow. K what fought led to that? Oh, when your husband said something about what you were wearing and that meant your fat. And that meant he's not happy with you. And he's probably going to go have an affair or maybe he is having an affair, and you just found out which meant your not good enough. If you were only better see, this, those those those those thinking thought those connections have already been made and all roads lead to you suck. You're not good enough. Right. All roads lead soup. You just become aware of it instead of going. Yeah. That's right. I suck go above that thought and go. Oh, yeah. It's interesting. How I think I'm not good enough. It's interesting how that fought said that where did that come from? Now, we're going to lift up the bedspread now we're going to observe it instead of a line. Now, we're willing to run to that roar so to speak that makes sense does. And as we lift up that bedspread, let's talk about bullying because I always ask a question. In about this. And and you know, those fears and those those feelings that we have in response to what other people do in say sometimes we call that bullying. Do you have a story about bullying? We're mindfulness would have made a difference. Well, there's a story in the book monster Trak number five or six it's buttons getting your button push. So I'm not sure which direction you want to do on a go from the person being bullied or the bully. You're it's it's okay. To go in either direction. I most often hear about the person being bullied. Yeah. So a lot of times it's great to hear it from the other direction. Well, either way if I'm being bullied, I the for me to answer is to have a new new interpretation of their behavior because if left to default, wiring your Keeble lining, you deserve to be believed because that's the other facet of kids, by the way, kids kids, don't just look at what happens to them. They process mostly what happens to them is because of them, and that's part of our survival brain as well because we have to be on the lookout for how we are fitting in. So if something goes wrong like you asked my my. My monster earlier, I was four when my mom and dad got divorced. And I'm going to come back to your question is second. But I want to kind of lay this, please. Is. And my dad got remarried the day of the divorce. So I always knew growing up. I'm telling you, I knew in my adult brain when I started processing that that. My dad left my mom that is not my wiry. My wiring was my dad left me. And it was because I wasn't in. This was my little variation of the lie. I was if I had been special enough like that was my fight mechanism. I gotta be special because if I was special enough he wouldn't have he wouldn't have left me. Right. Oh that was how that was wired to little four year old Kimmy, and he left because of me, he didn't leave because of my mom. See that's not in the kid site. You can't divorce all that. It was because of them and your parent you as a parent could go. No, Honey, it has nothing to do with you. Well, you can try to say that. But that takes the equipment. They don't quite have yet to understand that when they're older they might so here's so that was my life is that I have to be special, and that was my driving force back to bullying, and I talk about after the ten monster tracks by each one like shame and people pleasing that's a monster. Trak right there you have to please people in your world. 'cause you're that's how we're wired. That's exactly what we had to do when we were little we just didn't grow out of it enough. And so we're still a little bit dysfunctional. They're ruining relationships. You know, third is judgment. How much self judgment judgment of others that buttons? I think is four or five like, I get my buttons pushed easily so. So let's talk about it from the bully the bully side K, obviously there monster driven obviously that bully. Is fearful of his survival. And that bully maybe was bullied, and maybe he learned it from a parent because again, that's who are early days. You know, we we learn from exactly so the bully is just a little a little kind of hurting. I always say hurt people hurt people. Right. Like that bully is much as you can show love and forgiveness and compassion to the bully because that bully isn't really in their right mind. They're still reacting from Eli the monster thing, and they are just taking out there. You know, the button thing is anger and taking things personal those are the two things I and I even address prejudice discrimination in this chapter. So I'm gonna ship out of the bull person being bullied, and I have a story in the book about a friend of mine who's a black man that lives in southern California. He. Was went to a friend's house. It was an a fluent white neighborhood in southern California. And and my my friend Jonathan is really done a lot of monster work like he's already very self. Actualized mindful listening trying to rewire trying to reprogram years and years and years of when someone feels discriminated against all their life. And when someone feels bullied, you know, basically for their skin color for whatever women can feel bullied because of gender. I even talk about Viktor Frankl in this in this chapter talk about bullied, I mean, he was put because he was Jewish put into a Nazi concentration camp. Right. Like absolutely would for an eye election. It was the ultimate bullied bullying. That's right. And so how do these people this is who I really want to speak to is the person being bullied because number one don't allow the bullying to continue. Protect yourself like put boundaries around be. I don't ever ever. I want to rationalize or justify any current. Bullying being done to you. We teach people how to treat us. So put your boundaries up and know how to protect yourself from it. Or if you don't know ask someone like get some help about how to protect yourself. But then how do you how do you process that in later years like how does it trial of discrimination growing up feeling race racist of Guinot? And I'm not saying it's not there. There's no reason to say it's not there. I see it. I hate it. I denounce it every time I see it or hear it in people as best. I can. But the problem is is that we we have a choice the Frankel talks about man's one ability to choose his reactions and responses, and that's what he really the refiners fire of that concentration. Camp showed him. You can take everything away from me. She can't take my ability to choose. Exactly shoes to see this differently. So in the story, it's a long story. You're going to sound like a pitch, but go get the book to find out what Jonathan did. But he was. Really treated very with high amounts of discrimination by three white policemen. And and I kind of detail his whole process through the whole situation that he did that he told me later of how he kept having to number one take deep breaths, like here's an interesting thing is when our amid brain the survival brain is triggered whether it be through an imagined thing or a real thing. It doesn't know the difference. This prefrontal brain shuts down, and it you can't make a logical reasonable decision. That's why like all the police brutality. All the the horrible fighting in homes where parents, you know, either domestic violence or just burble abuse that people go through I've said things many times, I wished I could take back. Like, why did I say that because I didn't have access to this logical brain. I was so worked up. So when you learn one of the biggest tools, and you know in mindfulness the biggest one big tool physiologically, breathe just. From your belly not from here where the panic breath lives, go to the place, and you will automatically access your parents pathetic nervous system comes down. You have access now to have some logical thinking without that is just monsters the bottle of the monsters, right, right? So breathe. And then keep what my friend, John. The did. Ultimately in the story was he just kept telling him to himself the truth of who he was because he heard the old lie that I'm not good enough. I'm bad because I'm black. I'm not good enough. I'm not these people are better and the fear of my survival is definitely bringing them there because they have complete control over if I live or die right now. So who am I who am I I'm good? I'm worthy. I'm I'm okay. I'm lovable. These people don't know it that there are people who are hurting people. They're just fearful this is their monster. This is their worry. This is not my problem. Like just talking yourself down in the middle of it. Does that I don't know if that helps us get totally helps that's great the way you've described it because that's exactly what we have to do when we face some of those bullying conflicts, whether it it's in business or as a child whatever and we're all going to face them. They just come up from time to time now Kim as we move forward. I want to ask you five quick answer questions. So just thirty second answers are perfect. The first one is this who is one person who has influenced mindfulness in your life. Well, it's been Wayne dyers been probably up there. Like, I just lived on Wayne Dyer? What's her other better return to love Williamson Marianne Williamson was right? And is in those those first mindfulness? Okay. There's thirty seconds. Okay. How is mindfulness affected your emotions? Oh, it's changed my world. It's absolutely changed. My world. It's changed everything. Because I don't look through the same glasses at anything anymore. Like it. Yeah. It's changed everything when you've all you've already talked about breathing, but maybe you can sum it up a little bit. How has breathing been a part of your mindfulness practice while this this could go a little longer than thirty seconds. But I remember back in my early days of just quiet time. I was raised in a very Christian fundamental Christian. So meditation was kind of like a little bit new agey. We know it's really a God. Or not love LA that was at my upgrade. So I called it quiet time. And it's what I grew up knowing about prayer. But I never really understood because everybody prayed fear based like oh God. Please heal my face. And it's like, well, that's not faith that shouldn't be how we pray. So I learned how to quiet and come from once I kind of got my intrinsic value in who quite cleaned. My conduit is what I call it getting the articles, and the, you know, like monster tracks cleared up of my who I am then I could visualize. So I went to this re. Really? I just did this just came to me. And I just kind of got this feeling inside me a fiend radiantly feeling unconditional love. So I breathe I breathe. And I would just in my mind. I don't think I did this if my hands maybe I did. But I didn't have to I could do it in my mind's eye, and I just went. I got this feeling because Bruce it has to be emotional. You gotta feel it. They can't be cerebral C cerebral doesn't work. People doesn't do any unwavering or rewiring. It's got to be emotional, and you've got to feel go to this unconditional. And sometimes it's hard. And I would fight my thoughts. I have one more quick thing about meditation breathing. I remember trying to quiet my mind, and that didn't help me because my mind couldn't be quiet, then I went to self judgment because I wasn't doing it. Right. Right. You and many other people. I know when I started telling people don't worry about quieting your mind, don't worry about controlling your thought, deep breathe, and then go to this place of I'm just gonna notice all the thoughts that come by. I'm gonna notice them and then come back to the breath. Oh there I go. I just went noticed another one. Oh, there's another one like so then it stops the judgment about doing it wrong. Because so many people stop because they can't do it. Right. And they think they're unique. Oh, everyone else can do this. But me now, you are absolutely right by clients. Tell me this all the time. I agree with you. That's great insight. And if you could recommend a book, I know you've already mentioned the big magic big magic by Liz Gilbert, and e you know, she wrote eat pray love. But do you have any other books that you recommend will depending on your audience is probably already kind of down the road a little bit in depending on the level of what they can absorb like who I gig on right now. One of my people. I gig on his is Dr Joe dispenser. Very much becoming supernatural. You are the placebo raking the habit of being yourself. Those were big recent. That's, but you know, you're going to probably want to be a little bit down the road. Maybe not. But just kind of go go even on YouTube and watch the shift Wayne Dyer, I bought probably thirty of those CDs, the DVD's, and I just nailed up to my friends and said just go watch this go watch this is credible. I think it's the full version is I'm YouTube now, but that those are early Marianne Williamson returned to love. Who've in great stuff. Do you use any apps with your mindfulness? I have I don't now, but I've used com C A L dot com. That's a good because you can have it either guided or not sometimes I'm not in the mood for guided sometimes rebellious sparked with guided and I just go shut off. I don't wanna hear you. You know what I mean? And then sometimes it does help you can even just go. It's very self directed. You've got to kind of find what works for you. But no something would fill. Some people lacked the blob, I don't make me go the bathroom. So I like, I like just nature, you know. So it just depends. You got to just come to this place inside. And, but but have this as the backdrop of everything you do you can't get it wrong. They can't get don't worry about it. Well, mindful tribe checkout, the book checkout Kim's website at Kim. Fisk dot com f I s K E dot com, and the book is monster under the bed uncovering the the lie that drives us so check it out Kim, it's been such a pleasure talking with you. And I I know that you're all over social media. I know in Facebook Jay K, Fisk and on Instagram at Kim Fisk. So connect there as well listeners, and it's just been such a pleasure to talk with you today about all of these mind tricks that we experience and how to deal with it because it's huge we need to know this knickknacks everything Bruce. And so if you're having conflicts to start looking in the mirror and go what can I do? What can I do who am I being? Well, you know, who what's pushing my buttons. And. Yeah, thank you so much for having me on. I appreciate my pleasure. You have a great rest of your day. Thanks, kim. You're welcome. Bye. Now. Thanks so much for joining us today on mindfulness mode for show notes for every episode checkout mindfulness mode dot com and type the guest's name or the episode number into the search bar. You can also go mindfulness mode dot com slash whatever episode number. You like if you've enjoyed this podcast, you could help us out by subscribing to mindfulness mode. Wherever you listen, whether it's on I tunes or Stitcher Google play Spotify, so many places you can hear mindfulness mode, so hit subscribe and share because that truly helps our show and remember what I mentioned at the top of the show a weakened with focus a twelve minute meditation. Just for you recorded by me. You can be alert focused after waking. That's what is all about feel invigorated fresh and dynamic let your vibrancy feed. Those around you. Download this meditation to help you get going in the morning at mindfulness mode dot com slash awaken with focus so remember, some scribe ING and sharing helps keep mindfulness mode on the air till next time mindful tribe us what we've learned today to reach new heights of calm, focus and happiness, stay in the mode.

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504 Mindfulness For Deep Listening; Oscar Trimboli

Mindfulness Mode

41:09 min | 1 year ago

504 Mindfulness For Deep Listening; Oscar Trimboli

"Mindfulness mode five hundred four the pregnant polls the deafening silence are all very western orientations nations when it comes to silence. Hey welcome to mindfulness mode. I'm Bruce Langford your mindfulness mode host and mindfulness live coach coach. Hey Do you wanNA share mindfulness with your children. It can be so much fun for both of you. I have a free e Book I've put together. It's called twenty-one ways to practice mindfulness with your child every day for seven minutes. You can download it for free at mindfulness mode dot com slash twenty-one ways. He's now speaking of children. You ever find that they could maybe better listeners. While I'm sure that's true for most of us I know what is for me. I can always ramp up my listening skills and you know what the skill of listening is not always taught. It's not always taught to children. It's not always taught to us as adults but today you are going to learn about listening because the man that I have on as a guest today is all all about listening and how to improve your listening skills. Stay tuned sit back. Relax and enjoy my episode. Today with Oscar Trimboli volley mindful tribe. Today is the day that we talk talk about listening. And I think that's going to be so interesting and I know it is because I've read these fantastic resources that I received from our guest today and I learned a lot about listening learned a lot of listening being a podcast and being an interviewer but today I'm featuring Oscar Trimboli Oscar. Are you in mindfulness mode today. Get Bruce some parts of my damn mindfulness mode and just immediately prior I to alcohol the citation just took a moment to collect muscle. It's come to this space but I struggle with that. Every guy and being present is very easy for my clients maintaining a can be really present for them that I struggled with that for myself. Well it's certainly something that I think we can all improve on. That's for sure. Oscar from Bali is an executive coach speaker and author and he's passionate about using the a gift of listening to bring positive change to people whether that's at home or in your work place people all around the world and Oscar. There is a marketing and technology industry veteran having worked for a number of high profile companies including Microsoft. Now think of this a whopping fifty five percent of our time is spent listening yet. It's a skill that only two percent of the people really grasp despite the astonishing costs of failing to do so and these costs range from miscommunication to job turnover. Two Loss Sales Oscar points points out that have public. Speaking was the skill of the twentieth century. The twenty first century is the time to learn how to listen. And I'm excited to listen to you Oscar and I have been listening to your top ranked Apple podcast called deep listening which I highly Lee recommend so Oscar. What does mindfulness mean to you? And how is it related to listening to one of the things we talk about. Outweighing comes to listening is being present in the moment as the listener. Most listening chip will tell people to focus on the speak-out as a starting point the have a contrary point of view that says listening starts with you as the listener and a fuel plying. Ah completely different tune in your head. You're turned into a frequency this gesture run and it's not gonna be productive to the conversation so when I when I train when it comes to listening people quite surprised that the three tips. I always give. People remove electronic onic distractions take three deep breaths and drink lots of water and for me the practice that I do crossing a building lobby switching my cell phone off when I do that when I get into the elevator. If there's nobody in that elevator when galaxia galaxy a client I'll close my eyes just tight. Three deep breaths on. It's not a yoga pose or anything. It's just a simple down through the nose. Brought down to the bottom of the lungs and then out through the mouth and then in that moment. I'm collecting my sold full. What's my intention for my client? And then when I often often get off Refreshments in client office always ask for water hydrated. Brian is a listening brine. That's also Brian. This completely present somme. Mindfulness is in the moments rather than a licensed by way. You Go and do that. Assefa may mindfulness Running it's my ocean swimming and it's also not commute time as well so us a feel like I'm deliberate in choosing the gaps rather than finding a place at five. Am every morning for one. Out of practice Assis-. Masha job hasn't allowed me to be that good. I'm glad you mentioned you're swimming because in your book I absolutely love Chapter Seven clear. You're the clutter but in Chapter Seven. You said great dialogue is like the AB and flow of the waves on a beach. I I love that image. Such a natural tempo and movement between the water and the sand. You said where. Where did you come up with? This idea is this. Something you've always just intuitively known. I think it's probably something. That is a series. He's of a Back was lucky enough to go to a school that had twenty three different nationalities very close to the immigration center in Sydney new arrivals kind from South America from Asia from Eastern Europe at the time and one of my favorite Reflections elections was only spoke English and yet most of these people could speak to all three or four languages in some cases and Richard who had a Polish and Lithuanian. Parents could speak Russian German Polish Lithuanian and he was the best in English at costs and went on to become a doctor of course in a great jazz musician and he always con Dao. I wish I could be as good as him. But what we did was COD Games card Games was was the unifying force across all nationalities on because I couldn't speak another language the Kagame replied wasn't Italian cod game cold brisk and it's paid guideway this to people playing together on a team and I would diagonally opposite each other now. Always always the pickup lie. If somebody would show that would ask may apply because could to Lighter on listen to body language better than anybody else. Couldn't listen to the second language so I think in those very early dies I e lunch without being conscious of that you can listen and beyond the woods and still make sense of what's going on a quiet often despite the fact that that were speaking in Vietnamese will. That was speaking in Portuguese. That was speaking in In Croatian could still say what I was saying by stone on is Breathing by stolen the Y.. Held ahead in the spine. But it wasn't until probably the last ten years that I might that reflection election looking back in the moment was just trying to find a way to stay on. Somebody's odd because I wanted to belong to the group if one the call fold it into the workplace about ten years ago one of my vice presidents said to me after a very tense cooper budget negotiation between join Seattle Singapore in Sydney. She asked me to stay behind Off this budgeting meeting and all that was going through my head. Bruce bows USC. How many weeks of cash UVA got left in the bank account coast scholley win the vice president is you stayed behind? You'RE GONNA get five but what Tracy said to me in. That moment has stock and she said at the twenty minute market. You change the trajectory of the mating. Just by the why you listened listened. If you could go the why you'd listen. You could change the world now in that moment. Couldn't make sense of what Tracy said. And and to be honest the minute I stepped out of the Dole was thinking was relief that I hadn't been fine but about a month later at trae operating officer officer end of financial control. Were having very similar meetings around budgets setting and Braun the financial control us May to stay stay in a couple of his meetings. 'em observe his listening and I just went and got a real job to do tons of these listening stuff. But it just followed me from that point on Bruce From that point on Somebody challenged many when I set a goal to to raise a million crowd a million listeners in the world that that was not a goal worthy of the listening objective asked me to add a zero and comeback next month undiscussed Halloween. Get to ten million and when I came back next month for ten million Matt simply said to me at zero era and come back next month and I just went met. Are we GONNA play this game every month. And he said I'll Scott it's not about the goal. Go back and see if you can do a hundred megan tape listeners. In the world and came back the next month I said actually I can Nazia. Why for hundred million? But I can't say why ten million and he said he's the point of SCA if you can achieve your goal in your lifetime it's not ambitious enough strive for a multigenerational goal that will leave a legacy and are radically now. I can see quite easily. Hell I can and get two hundred million and Kevin In Atlanta who I spoke to about a month ago who was a podcast house challenge balanced made to add a zero and might get a billion. So it's it's a gauntlet will never be a shave at. It's all about the intent of helping. Everybody listened to be on the woods while a fascinating part of listening. You have pointed out and I think a lot of people maybe don't realize this is the importance of honoring silence and space and pauses at. I kinda smile because my son listens to to a lot of videos on youtube and some of these videos are about technology or science or new new products and a lot of times. They've used the tool to eliminate all the silences so that you know I'm sure you've heard those videos and they just. They're very abrupt from one sentence to the next to the next to the next all the silences have been removed. Let's talk about the importance of those pauses in silences in how they feed us. Yes it's interesting. When I started to be interviewed Bruce that many of the host would reflect at the end end of the interview that this so much polls in in our conversation and I asked me if that was deliberate and I said yes because a lot of sound Edita's will actually remove the spice and yet the spice allows us time to think at allows time to reflect flecked allows us time to collect Dow thoughts that the lack of space the tension in silence the bulk Oakwood silence the pregnant polls the deafening silence are all very western orientations when it comes to silence so if you got a significant eastern cultures Japan Korea China if you go to very ancient cultures just like the North American inuit the Polynesian cultures the Maori Cultures Destroy Aboriginal Cultures? They jungle cultures of Africa in South America. The Indian cultures silence is a sign of respect. Silences a sign of wisdom. Silence is a sign of seniority and particularly from where I'm based in my exposure to aboriginal communities entities. Silence is a way of connecting the tribe. The Mall Buzz I would say Hia and silence. Silence allows people to collect what I've just hood and make sense of silence also helps them in to understand what this means for them in that moment yet. Most of us are addicted to filling in the spice. We feel the value in the conversation is how short the polls is unhealthy. Fos The answers aren when I work with my clients bursts often I just simply cited for them to die way intrigued by the quality of you'll response not the spade because particularly in the work I doing corporations and there is a very strong correlation with performance way people a- told that the spate of their response but the spate of their response. It is something that is a signal of leadership and yet fast decisions. That are wrong still wrong. So silence is out birthright and silence is something particularly in the West. We should become much more comfortable with and for some clients that Ah work with this full con- listening villains one of them is the interrupting listeners. we'll know them before you have drone breath to finish the sentence that they're already trying to solve a when they do that. Actually solving the wrong problem or a different problem will the problem. You haven't even explained and outside of those the paper just just count one thousand to one thousand three one thousand and probably by two thousand you find that still continuing the conversation. Besides and it's in that exploration now there's a bit of Maths and science to Bruce so the silence supports supports. This very simple number we speak at about a hundred and twenty five words a minute to one hundred fifty minute but we can think on average nine hundred birds minute Sasol on strolls out everything else that the other person is thinking about tykes allowed simple. Text Gripe discipline to take the time to play with the polls to let silence do the heavy lifting in the conversation citation because it's actually the most natural thing to do yet. In the West with created construct that uses the language like the Oakwood silence of the pregnant polls or the deafening silence. And I think most of us if we just connect without breathing and our body we will know that that is the perfect moment to be silent rather other than just hanging out head. China the dialogue full Oscar. I really enjoyed your book. Your book just it comes comes across as being so thoughtful and so easy to read so enjoyable. It's called deep listening. Impact beyond words and the illustrations in this book were done by Presentation Studio. The whole book comes across as being a very mindful project. Can you tell us a little bit more about the About the graphics the visuals in this book and how you came up with those. I'm so excited you noticed at the is so much thought that scorning and that book is a collaboration in the book was was inspired by tick. Non Hans will how to bowl a beautiful little book that is boys in my bag. Allies something to bring me back to the present and Embi at one with myself and when I was console. Oh sing a Lotta people said you know you should write. A book can really could make sense of that. And I engaged Engaged designer Elaine An illustrator is by you from presentation. Studio amazing listening because originally from Indonesia but has witnessed strife of the best part of this decade. He's he smiled when he took the brave. Because a lot of the work the presentation studio Dow's is helping culprits with their presentations. And he said he's goal in life was a wise to be published in a book and he got the first copy of the book and when we sat down with value to describe what we're trying to achieve with the book we said we made somehow to bring very abstract obtuse topic. That people don't have a language around to live through because I can often help cut through the woods and each of these characters that he came up with in his design. Nine were evolutions. What you see in the book Walsum where we started but it was because by listen to what we're trying to achieve aval? Why throughout in the book as well Bruce this deliberate blind pages and they designed to help the rate of pools and throughout the book? Number of people said to me I'm not sure what the printing on page seventeen pipes thirty I. This is blank. Pages said none. That's just there for you to click your thoughts and the book is designed to be read had to be very accessible as you've learned bruce a dozen cyclone to rate at some people of literally breaded in Allah yet they capable but with them. All the Thomas designed to be carried around with you. It's designed to be something that's very practical and the language thanks to my editor. Kelly is designed in a way. That's much like the example used about the ebb and flow all the bake and how Tom Wives and sand in Iraq. And it's very natural thing so if America was a joy when people notice it and I get photos from all around the world of had a photo from somebody on German riverbank reading the book a lot of photos in coffee shops people So Ham reading your book just want us to let you China but equally in hotel rooms equally in in training courses way. I'm not training but the books being used so the book most things I do is probably very counterintuitive. It's not a big book. It's not a academic approach. It's something that's designed to connect the head hot Together in in unison through through the artwork artwork that by US created as well as the woods that Kelly is helps a get made to express as it relates to listening and that's true too for the plying Qods also applying God's very tactile I've gotta specific glue on them. There's a specific feel for a specific reason. They so you can save a lot of Spain designed within an inch of its life and how to get across a copy of the they listening Jigsaw puzzle to you Bruce as well because because again it's another wide to bring this to life in a wide that's Just gets people to pause and think because must be Paul Teich listening for granted. Well I was interested that you quoted Hawn in your book and very interested good to hear you say that you were so inspired by him. One of the things that you did quote was one hour of compassionate deep listening can bring our bow transformation transformation and healing. What type of healing do you think we can enjoy as a result of really embracing this the topic of deep listening and I want to acknowledge? That's not my quote that's master Hans quote and when I heard him talk about that. The role of the listener is not too on the stand. While the speakers sign and relative to the quote the Mosterhamn talks about here is listening. It's to help the speaker. Mike sensible I may so simply by using three techniques to the phrases in silence. If you just say to somebody tell me more a what else or you're just pulls a new silence. They will start to use codes or slang. Well actually what we should be talking about is although sign honestly what we should be talking about is What's really important right now? In conversation is the. Nhl Of those is helping to pick that one twenty five nine hundred away thinking thinking at nine hundred words a minute but in that moment where you say tell me Mole you say what else will you just use silence that I would go further into the head further into the hot further into the gut and discover what I actually won a CY rather than the first thing that comes outta their mouth south bursts at my job going to a doctor at least three times a year twice a year checkups and probably something else in between if my doctor Dr John gave me a one in nine chance or eleven percent chance that the prescription he would give me all the surgery I would have is going to help me. I would be asking for a second third and fourth opinion yet. Most of us when we listen we attacking checking in eleven percent. Chance that this is the conversation we need to have going depot asking what else and doubling you're listening productivity hearing during those next hundred fifty words as Mazda Han said in that qualities to help them get a little bit deeper and listen to to what truly matters to them because quite often the only time I express what matters to them is in their own mind and in their own mind is like a washing. Shing machine on wash. Cycle is just agitated. It's going around and around. The world is dirty and it suds in. It's not making progress but the reactive speaking and end deliberately when you speak to somebody else to another human. That's like the rinse cycle on a washing machine. And when when you rinse it's clearer and the same is true when you speak to somebody else but even washing machines to rinse cycle sometimes three and I would encourage everybody to just become really good at though simple phrases. What else tell me Mole and you'll be stunned? Donned the conversation goes pick wolf inside of meals. tixx Longo said a dozen initially but you building foundations nations for a very big skyscraper. It's worth the effort and what I say is let takes longer at the beginning. All SCA what we've found is projects. Don't run over shedule. What we found is listening to what employers really want to say what we found is? We're listening to customers in a different Y.. or in the public sector. They assigning win not only listening to walk. Constituents a sighing while listening to wall constituents actually want fault but very few people type the time and it is in that moment of mindfulness to go where his mind tension in this conversation. Because us if it's only about you what you WANNA get out of that coma citation and you'll using so much energy coming into that coma session be all about you. Yes so that'll be productive for you will be powerful. Will it be potent and will it make an impact on moods probably not. We'll have this very linear relationship and so in that quote from US John. It's the depth of listening the trolls out the quality of the relationship but also helps the speaker Baker resolve what ultimately not us to them Oscar. I really appreciate how you're pointing out. That listening is so connected connected to breathing to listen deeply. You have to listen to your breathing and you say that we have to. I learned to listen to our cells Dell's and then once we realized that it's connected to our breathing. You say this act of slowing your breath automatically creates a space in in your mind where you can listen to yourself more deliberately. That's incredible that's really powerful. Originally I discovered this in literature review that it was doing bruce windows riding the bulk. I wanted to understand if there was academic underpinnings to this news. Ninety three and Oughta way in Canada a university studied for one hundred ten students who paid in conversations and that will hooked up to machines the measured they pulse emission parading and then they ask the participants to recall what they thought about. The compensation was a productive productive and the line and what they've walls was a correlation the Mo- productive conversations had the Davis breathing had the lowest the pulse. Right in the dialogue enough. Found that fascinating as I as I read the literature for them. But what was most intriguing being to me and you won't be surprised about this because we're all connected. As consciousness. The most productive of old conversations wins the breathing between the speaker and the listener was synchronized. Meaning the pulse right Levels were roughly within five percent of the Java whereas the Liane productive conversations that was a variation greater than twenty five percent in the pulse right Nelson level between the spike in the only small so what are often cite. A people who love interrupting is are you noticing the breathing of yourself and I you noticing noticing the breathing of the speaker now. Most people won't notice the breathing of the speaker at all. Let's must people struggling with enough distraction in your head but again when you think about the depth of you're listening if you can hear whether breathing is that it will be a really really interesting signal to notice way. Yours is at as well so for better or worse. I'm I'm blessed with a really low pulse right and Potter Kata. That's probably Swimming and running and I'll find that in my consulting work with executives. One of the first things I do as I woke into their rooms will they meeting rooms is. I'm a very deliberate to both slow the dialogue down down and saw my breathing down as a Boza other Signaled to them about the state we wanna take them to and then just awesome at at the commencement of the conversation. Hal is dive at Bam in terms of energy and I invite them into a spy I simply to the three day breasts themselves will cause it is entitled. Three daybreak is now most people despite all the work. I do around on intergalactic fancy pants listening. Most people tell me Oscar. It's just those three depress you invite me to take that completely China's my state for the rest of the conversation and it's no surprise that in two thousand fifteen google implemented a process way if they were more than six people in a mating had a guided. Two minute meditation and that was the most commented on their employee. Engagement survey for two thousand fifteen That still continued on so if some of the most complex and largest companies companies in the world can pose at the beginning of the meeting. That's something not invite all of us to do at the beginning of a meeting just to bring ourselves grounded into into that space and again if Thang seconds with Ray Day Pretzel If you can talk to a minute grind if he can take three minutes. It's even better ETA. But I notice that the quality of their thinking changes questions changes and they orientation quickly moves from just inside they hated to the total consciousness in that conversation and ironically that that simple act of a very uncommercial thing to do bruce asked people to brave a is must people get hung up about tone mindfulness. So if I don't explain it as mindfulness like Oh wow this is awesome and yet it increases the quality if they thinking and I know the commercial outcomes a better by connecting to their breathing their body they mind to make up. Your website is Oscar. Trimboli Trimboli DOT COM oh. Se A.. R. T. R.. I am B. O. L. I.. And you can check out the book deep listening impact beyond words which is so excellent Oscar. I always ask a questionable bullying. And if you've ever either been bullied or maybe of a story about bullying where mindfulness would have made a difference. Maybe you have a story about bullying. We're you're listening would have made a difference. Do you have a story. You can share with US Oscar. It's it's maybe a different story. Bruce Hyde I think. I'm the big bully to myself. I think the violence of the conversations inside my own mind sometimes where. I'm beating myself up about progress on from baiting myself out about an outcome and insight timer. Is the meditation APP that I use and also you listen to the work of Tara. Brach Ouza an amazing Tak- all very accessible for me. It was probably in the Tom on where I was writing the book. It was probably around. That time was probably the busiest That always doing because undertaking this book allowance is kind of very distilled like a a Japanese Dashi Broth. That's very concentrated. That takes a lot of effort in deciding what to take out and and during during that time I was very violent with myself and Walson productive and it was my editor. Kelly can remember these very clearly. I was in POC and I was five levels below ground and I was on a cold with her and she he just said Kenya. Listen to how you're talking about yourself. Can you actually listen level. One for a moment. Can you actually take one of your own pills. All sky and in that Modify Stike Chineste I I I cook like. There was a always shaking and a win. If it's okay to say this to others than it's okay to do it for myself and I'll just guide myself the permission to go a came so he created that deadline. I did what's perfect about that deadline. Nothing so we agreed in that moment with Kelly just to move the deadline for the boat. It's a beautiful thing when you publisher own book rather than Workings Republica and the rest of the conversation was completely different. Casaus relax out official pressure. I'd been putting putting on myself was gone so yeah I think I'm I was bullying bruce to be honest. Yes I've heard that from others then. I think it's true for myself as well so I completely understand what you're saying Oscar as we move forward in the interview. I want to ask you five. Quick answer questions questions and the first one is this. Who is one person who has influenced mindfulness in your life? I will be master. Han mcdonagh's certainly the one and Yoda from Star Wars. Oh interesting how is mindfulness affected your emotions. Mindfulness allows me to sites Chi to deal with a range of emotions rather than only go. Mindfulness about joy on fullness is also bad exploring the other emotional response you have on that spectrum too. We've already talked about breathing. But what can you add to that. How has breathing bing become a part of your mindfulness? Honestly they monness practice of swimming. If I didn't learn had a brave correctly Swim there's an adult. Learning brace correctly in the swimming pool was something I didn't do. So when it went to swim in the ocean off filed spectacularly and and I had separate learn how to braise all over again so for me. I'd say breathing side my life in the swimming in the ocean. Oh yes I can certainly me identify with that well. Your book is fantastic deep listening but what other book would you recommend that connected to mindfulness. This is a left field. One already talked about learning how to walk by Non Han but the book I would recommend right now. Is a book cold atomic cabinets by James. So if you'll struggling with a habit of connecting with your mindfulness atomic habits breaks habits down into its most simple smallest elements and it's a book that's been on the New York Times bestseller list every month for the last twelve months wants. It's not only a worth rating. It's a well written book as well and if you're trying to develop a habit around. Mindfulness it's very accessible doc. And we'll help you start on that journey. Excellent I'll put that in our show notes at mindfulness mode dot com. Can you share an APP. You already referred to incite timer summer. which is an APP? I use as well. Are there any others. Use Spam the hits by SAP as well by a Chinese head spice when on traveling whether that's flying a booking around the same day or something like that just to give myself a break but the other apple US probably most of all when it comes to mindfulness as just my music APP to connect music helps break my style really well. And just tighten NATO completely different places while Oscar yearbook offers so many tools and it's so practical there's no fluff there. It's just straightforward straightforward practical material. Like to be a deep listener. Ask these questions and it's really great so I'm GonNa ask you a question. What else can you add to the conversation as we finish up here that you haven't said to our audience about listening at twenty weeks inside saw mother's womb? The first skill you have alone was had listen. You could distinguish mother's voice for many other voice at thirty two weeks. You can distinguish bite cousin from bone Jovi from Beta and the minute we come into the low we come into the world kicking and screaming and we WANNA be noticed by speaking listening is your birthright. It's not something that you have to learn. It's something you have to unlearn from all the things you've collected along the way so if all you did was connect with your most original version of yourself you'll already at the listener. Just trust yourself. Oscar Trimboli dot dot com mindful tribe. Thank you so much for being with us today. Oscar this has been great burst. Thanks for listening my pleasure bye now thanks. Thanks so much for joining us today on mindfulness mode for show notes for every episode checkout Mindfulness Mode Dot Com and type the guest's name or the the episode number into the search bar. You can also go mindfulness mode dot com slash. Whatever episode number? You like. If you've enjoyed this podcast you could help us out by subscribing to mindfulness mode. Wherever you listen whether it's on I tunes or Stitcher Google play a spotify so many places you can hear mindfulness mode so hit subscribe and share because that truly helps our show show so remember what I said at the top of the show? I have an e e book for you to help you bring mindfulness into the life of your a child. It's called twenty-one ways to practice mindfulness with your child everyday yours for free downloaded at mindfulness mode dot com. Tom Slashed twenty-one ways so remember subscribing and sharing helps keep mindfulness mode on the air till next time mindful tribe us. What what we learned today to reach new heights of calm? Focus and happiness stay in the mode

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483 Take The Brain First Approach To Restore Mind-Body Health; Susan Kenney

Mindfulness Mode

42:52 min | 1 year ago

483 Take The Brain First Approach To Restore Mind-Body Health; Susan Kenney

"Mindfulness mode four. Eighty three if somebody has a brain. That isn't functioning properly. It is not by by accident that they're struggling then. I'm Bruce Langford mindfulness mode host and mindfulness life coach. So glad that you tuned in in today. I think you're going to enjoy today's episode. It's about the brain and we have this incredible computer available to us and we can use it to develop helpful habits and habits that move us toward our goals but then sometimes we feel like it's working against us. That is the topic the topic of today's show. But I wouldn't you love to be alert and focused after you wake up in the morning. I've a free guided meditation. That can get true. Day started right feel set for the day. Download my awaken with focus. Meditation at Mindfulness Mode Dot com slash awaken can with focus. So we are talking with a brain health coach today and I find this so fascinating to sit back. Relax and enjoy my interview today with Susan. Kenny mindful tribe. This is going to be a great day because we're talking about rain health. Were talking about how you can improve your situation. And it all goes to the brain and I've got Susan Kenny here today. Susan are you in mindfulness mode. I M and mindfulness mode right. Before we started I went for a nice mindful walk. I was doing some deep breathing Moretti awesome that's awesome. Yeah and I'm really excited to talk to you because when I first started my podcast way back in two thousand fifteen I wanted to talk to brain experts and scientists and people at understood there was a connection between mindfulness awfulness and the brain and between mindfulness and consciousness and all of those kinds of things so here she is your Susan. What does mindfulness mean to you? Susan mindfulness to me birds means being present in my body so when I need to step out of the fire hose that is otherwise my life I come into my senses and I I focus on something that I can see or something tactile something. I smell something I taste and for me that is. Mindfulness is being in body. All I wanNA share a little more about you with mindful tribe Susan Susan. Kenny is a brain health coach. Like I already said. She's a life coach as well. She's into brain optimization. Technician is what she is. She's a sports nutritionist. She's a Reiki reiki master. She's also the CO founder and director of therapeutic wellness at Amer go recovery which is a private residential recovery and wellness center which is focused on a brain I approach and she's dedicated her career to helping individuals re-claim their life after after struggles with debilitating challenges and she harnesses her expertise in nutrition. Functional Medicine Education Brain Health Health and positive psychology. I mean so many things. You're doing an Susan. It's just incredible to have the opportunity to talk to you smoulders holders. Yeah this is really going to be great so You talked about what mindfulness means to you. But I know that you talk about the five five things that make non-negotiable that are non-negotiable to keep your brain sharp in your life full. So what are some of those five things so we call it actualized recovery so if anybody is familiar with maslow's hierarchy of what we can be we must be so. The premise of emerged recovery is built on a foundation called actualized recovery. So the five things that we focus on our biological psychological spiritual tool social and lifestyle. So what does that mean. If you look at Maslow's hierarchy the very bottom of tier is physiological and and so for us that's brain if somebody has a brain that isn't functioning properly. It is not by accident that they're struggling then and so people have trauma from physiological. You know an accident a concussion and illness or birth trauma and also emotional traumas Almas to the nervous system so everything that we do. The foundation is brain. I but it's based on those five areas that we focus on and so what about people who get older and because of a life of eating processed foods and sugars and things like that have affected their brain so they no longer anger have the cognitive ability. What can you do to help those people? Same same we until we take our last breath bruce. What's wonderful is is that we have no plans to city and we have something called neurogenesis and so when we are in an enriched environment so the food that you're talking about I would categorizes arises impoverished so that that is low functioning? There's not a high vibration to it and it doesn't sustain the body grow cells and it's definitely not good good for the brain but the wonderful news is that we have neuro plasticity up until we take our last breath so as long long as you shift things to focus on great food the best food possible whole foods movement breath work and sleep. Those are the things that when you do them very well. The brain takes care of itself so so sleep can be an entire topic for us because because so many processes happen during the night for the brain the brain is able to relieve itself of toxins and get into a room room. Sleep where it's able to sort almost like a a secretary might go in and do the filing. That's what we need sleep for. Is that the brain needs to reset itself Alf overnight. So what if you're just not getting enough sleep and you keep waking up or you've got. There's some reason why you can't seem to sleep then. What yeah well coach with people about that? So that's as varied as the individual. But here's the things to do so if you just look at one one thing we blow past a natural circadian rhythm by having television ipods tablets all all of those things so when the sun goes down. That's when we're also meant to be shutting ourselves down and so- humans you. Oh God love us but we we push past that. We've got our own ideas that's right. I have to watch Netflix series. Of course and so you would be number one is practicing sleep. Hygiene where a natural circadian rhythm and calming down and turning off artificial light makes a big difference for some people at supplementation of magnesium or Melatonin. That will help calm in the evening eating earlier than perhaps APPs a lot of people are used to because the digestive process. Ideally we should be eating four hours before we sleep so that gives the digestion enough time to do its thing and then the brain can can really relax if you've eaten too close about and and talk about those foods that you talked about right the big bowl of ice cream before bed that really is not gonNA promote great sleep or or some people have a glass of wine or two again. That's a sugar so and and isn't going to allow the brain to relax. A dark room is important. Not having technology in the room or distractions is important portent having the best bed that you can possibly buy so that your comfort level is there and and really making it a routine you know there should be a PM ritual routine that you stick to and when you do that each night. You're teaching the body in the brain that it's time for me to wind down and how `bout wearing blue blockers. Yeah Green. Oh Yeah I'm a geek. I usually wear mine during the day too but I turned the fluorescence off. So yes I have in two sets. I have my daytime blue-light blockers for the office. And I have my nighttime ones which are are even more orange right so mindful tribe of you're listening any of this and you're thinking what are they talking about. Well tell our listeners. What we're talking about so blue glasses so so? It is the the blue light in technology that stimulates the brain to think that it's daylight so by wearing these glasses it now blocks that blue light so if you are watching anything at night just be mindful that it is going to look a lot. Different is everything. That's blue is no longer blue. Glue is going to be neutral. But it really protects the brain from overriding that nighttime relaxation. So the melatonin releases naturally the brain and it allows you to fall asleep so these blake glasses a really neat one of the things that you say Susan is that depression and anxiety are only symptoms. They're not anything more than symptoms. Can you tell us why that happy to. So after doing this We started in two two thousand and eleven and since then I've lived with every one of our clients that have attended imago recovery. And what we know who is that. Anxiety and depression is running rampant right now. Now wait you've lived with them. What do you mean union? I want to know more about that. Okay so we have a private residential recovery program and I live on property and one of the Co founders of emergo and so myself the other CO founder and we have to emotional support dogs all live on property and then we have a team of seventeen that come in and out during the day and evening to work with our clients roussev intimately seen everybody's journey from start to finish and the walls are thin so I can hear every part of their journey and these are people that have given up. Hope we're working. I'm working with a family right now for an emergency crisis admission for tomorrow and their daughter water has attempted suicide on the weekend and there is no support in how for her they. He medical system gave the family a card and Said said sure you go you know from this number if she feels suicidal again so these are people they have reached the bottom. They are hopeless. They have tried everything done everything and there has been no relief so within four to six weeks this young woman. And here's as the two things that we asked for from any of our clients. That come is the time we need time to reset the brain and the body and to begin to have new ideas to challenge old belief systems. And then we need best effort so your best effort in week one may be a lot different and then it will be in week four but your best effort is doing the best that you can and our team has the rest of at an. It's all built on neuroscience with brain. I the first thing that we use his technology that allows us to look and see what's happening the brain it's a noninvasive technology with EEG sensors that pickup data. What we're looking for is areas that are overactive or looking for areas that are under active and were looking for a asymmetry? So from left to right there are certain you shouldn't be more than twelve percent functioning like like a nice dancing couple your left and your right. Hemispheres should be dancing together. Sure what happens when people have had trauma and again that can be concussion physiological the accident food poisoning. You know you name it physiologically. Our body the nervous system can get too stressed or it can be emotional. Most of our clients have a combination of both so they've had a lifetime and most of them have begun with a birth trauma and this is interesting interesting so out after this many years I I know that. A high percentage of our clientele that com- have had a traumatic birth. Most most of them. Don't think it's traumatic birth. And they'll say no. No no I was fine I was born Caesarian section because I was breached With that's a birth trauma to the brain and it's done to save a child and a mother and it's wonderful and thank goodness we can do that. From a neuroscience point of view in nervous system point of view it is very traumatic for the mother and for the child and so many of our clients began with an early childhood trauma or A fall very early on in life or an emotional trauma and so they're going through life the best that they can and typically in his system where they're being told that they are controlling this now. This is willpower. You just have to pull up her bootstraps and just you know do better so going back to your original question. Depression and anxiety being symptoms. Is that everybody who comes to us has a different origin for where depression anxiety come from for them and so we've got to go beyond that label and we've got to get to the source of what's driving it and for some people got issues issues. Dr Depression and anxiety. Their gut isn't working. And if if you're starving if your brain isn't able to get nutrients it sends out the alert and so anxious feelings can come from there so there's a lot of things that we do that are very brain and gut related waited for healing as well. Susan where are you located in the world. We are about one hour north of Toronto Ontario Canada. I thought I saw that you were in Berry. I'm in London Ontario. Okay Yeah you're not far from us off from London I bet you have. I don't very often can get interview people from my area so this is so exciting but I wanna ask you this since we're in Canada and of course Marijuana is legal in in Canada. And I WANNA ask you. What are the implications of self medicating using marijuana? What are the implications on the brain strictly from a brain point of view? It's a brain toxin. So there's a lot of things that we use in life to get a temporary relief it doesn't mean that it's a long term solution Russian and so if you're using it for sleep or pain which most of our our clientele would be are using it for a purpose. They're they're getting relief. But what we see when we're able to do the brain assessment. Is that the brain is filled with toxic chemical. And and so I I. It's just not a good idea. Alcohol marijuana pharmaceuticals illicit drugs. Whatever it is? If from a brain point of view they are leaving residue. They're changing functionality. And we can't test chemistry mystery but it's changing things that are happening in the brain. Are they changing neural pathways yeah neuro receptors. So so whenever you take something that is shutting down are changing the direction of something you're changing the neuro pathways via the neurotransmitters transmitters in the brain and so again it's temporary and as everybody knows who has any sort of Alcohol Marijuana Arowana whatever it is you need more and more and more right right. And and that's because the brain is now not receptive to it. As it was in the beginning winning so the original receptors that brought relief are are now changing and so long term. We've had. Oh Gosh we. He had a A gentleman with us who had been smoking marijuana for such a long time. He spent most of his day in a hot shower and in and that was the only way he could get relief because long term use it affects digestion as well home and so he has incredible stomach pain and when he first arrived with US actually had burns on his back because of the hot shower that he was standing in a while. So the long term use of anything anything extra and this is important bruce while we say is that we're an inside out approach and the rest of the world is using an outside in an anything like as the stress ball is extrinsic. If you're relying on a stress ball to bring you back into balance as you know there's better mindfulness techniques that we can teach that don't rely on something outside robot and so when people come in they. I've we've had people that WANNA bring a drum set. I've had another man that wants to bring his stationary bike. Because that's how they get relief made they cope If they're not sleeping and they're not able to settle so we nobody brings any of that to emergo. We are an inside out approach. So all of the Chomsky's and things That you've used to bring relief. We WanNA get right to the source and we want to change brain function Russian. So that you no longer need any of these extrinsic things so fascinating. What are your thoughts on Wim Hof love Wim? Am Hav we teach it we the Wim Hof breathing and there's for for any of your list of you've heard of FM TV No not really Your listeners will like this. Food Matters. Television or F. M. TV okay. They actually have a five part documentary series and and they're about one hour each and Wim Hof is represented in one of those five and it's one of the staples that we have for our education. So Oh it's called transcendence and so it's FM TV it's like net flicks for really healthy people. So there's a lot of yoga meditation recipe appease So many great documentaries own check Dada. Yeah you're getting like FM TV. I think your listeners are GonNa you find that a great Hof. I've been doing that for nearly a year and I find it really does incredible things in that it. Kind of there's there's there's some way that it kind of makes it so I'm not so sensitive to heat and or the or the cold environment is like oh I feel great. I don't care whether it's cold or warm or whatever everybody else's complaining it's too hot or they're complaining it's too cold or whatever and I am perfectly fine. Why does Wim Hof do that? How does the brain react? Act Two and if you don't know what Wim Hof is part of it is breathing and part of it is taking ice cold showers and being ice baths and things like that. So why does the brain change when Wim Hof. It's an it's an exceptional story that I learned through this transcendent documentary. But he was a twin. Did you know this I did. And they didn't know that he was still in there so they delivered the first baby. And then here's mom heading back to a room and out comes off so traumatic birth. Yeah they were going back to what I said before. So many people that struggle and so he. He struggled for most of his life until he found this that the temperature and breathing really helped his brain rain and so because he had had this traumatizing birth his whole life. He had had a very activated brain pattern and probably in a fight or flight Response and so the breathing and the cold temperatures helps the nervous system reset itself and then he also works with the mindfulness meditation. And I don't know if you ever saw it. The object him with a virus. Yes yes the end as. He's sitting there meditating. The viruses in entering any part of his body and the doctors are really worried that he's doing this but that's the power sure that we have with mindfulness meditation. Yeah it's it's so incredible it really is well. You're doing some incredible things with your patients. Can you tell us specific story about somebody that you've helped in a transition that has ensued. Yeah Circa actually a good. I got about an eight foot long text this morning former client and I can condense it so we are. We're very small program. We only accept up to six people eh time because the work that we do as you can tell with. The Young Woman that I talked about is Is Very critical and people need our are attention so we we don't do things like group therapy because we don't want people to connect with us and to work through things with us but but it's going back to our five key areas so biological is the first thing that we look at when people come to us and I'll get to this gentleman that texted me this morning. Most people that come to us or very depleted physically they. They're sleeping mm all day and up all night. So they have circadian rhythm has changed. They're usually using things Like marijuana or alcohol or tablets Ore Drama or shopping. Some something that has become a distraction because their life isn't doing well right. So won't I. I up for us is to stabilize people physically. So we want to rebuild energy and when we rebuild energy then we can work to a therapeutic part of the program so ours is very experiential in nature. We don't focus on talk therapies. We coach but the ah the therapeutic modalities do might be more experiential it we had our group went up to blue mountain which you would know. Yes I do you. And and did the Some rock climbing and did the suspension bridge and caving and for people that don't don't have depression and anxiety that's not scary but our to our clientele. That's incredibly overwhelming right. And so oh the emotional responses K.. Were in this situation. How you feeling? And the greatest video went home to a family this weekend because one of our clients just was on zip line and holding on and just flipped off backwards and was laughing and you know there. She Lia's zipping through the air and just three weeks ago. She was isolated in her bedroom and using all kinds of things just to get through the day day and wasn't able to join the family for dinner so here we are three weeks later with a brain I approach. And and here's the outcome so the gentleman that I got the eight foot long tax today actually said his opening line was I was really mad when I left. I hated you guys all man. This isn't going to be going well. I 'cause I start my day really really early in the morning. I do my first meditation before six thirty so it turned number four and after that but we will always had done that but at the end he said you. I didn't realize how much you taught me. And he said I got home and he said I really did feel better than I ever had in my life. You've and he said but I was feeling sorry for myself because there is times where us were really hard on me like you really called me to task and and create an awareness. But that's what good coaching is. Bruce and you know that know that creating the awareness and what people people do with it. That's up to them and so his. This whole text message was that when he left us he did have some health problems as a result of some things that were still detoxifying and he applied what he had learned and was able to get back on track again while outlet. Yeah and and so we get very connected. Our team is very small. We we only work with these people at a time. So you can't run you. You can't hide from US and in a bigger treatment center you know there might be sixty or more people and a very small staff will. We're the opposite. They're seventeen of us is and maximum of six people so like a coach sitting on the bench. You know we're we're watching everything that's going On and were able to create this amazing awareness for people that in a kind loving and sometimes in a way that is hurtful to hear. Because it's your coping mechanisms. I see I do want to make sure we talk about meditation and the brain. We have to talk about that. What kind of effect does meditation have on the brain to put it in? Just a singular the meditation on the brain creates new neural pathways that strengthen and and create the ability for for more creativity for deeper sleep for a deeper connections and relationships. The it's the time where the brain rain. It's different than sleep bruce. It's it's the opportunity for the brain to become enlightened and so it is a big Encarta of our program but not until they've been with us a week or so because it can also meditation can also be very very frightening for somebody who can't think everything's negative thought and so- closing your eyes and meditating is a last thing you WanNa do when you first arrive. It can be overwhelming wing so we wait until we get some shifting in the brain. We wait until sleep has become more restored and then we teach a technique. I don't know if you've ever heard of ziva meditation and they're based out of New York. Okay so Ziva. Meditation really works while with our our clientele. Because it's three fold in. We teach mindfulness. Then it's a meditation. And then in the latter part of the meditation annotation it's manifesting so when the brain is in a very relaxed state then you can really focus on things that you want to attract act into your life too and they they do a beautiful job. Emily Fletcher is The The lady who created Ziva and she's is young and she is vibrant and for me. I I used to do. TM medic meditation for a long time and It's this this is to me. It's I get the similar feel that I did when I did. P T but it's way cooler teco. She's she's She's got a great community and facebook and so our clients after they graduate can connect with other like minded meditators as well and there's a great support network and she's also written a wonderful book called stress less accomplish more and it's called Tation for extraordinary performance. So as she says. We don't meditate to get good at meditating. We meditate to get good at life. And that's what the brain is is connected to that when your brain is imbalanced. Your Life is good and so meditation as one one of those non negotiable for me personally. It's it's twice a day. Twenty minutes Something dire has to happen for me to avoid that right and again I live with people all day every day. We take a break Christmas. And that's it while and my my energy is it is incredible and I know that it changed greatly when I started might to time a day. Meditation Practice Yeah. It's totally revital for me too. I included every single day. But I WANNA make sure I've got this book you said it's ran by Emily Fletcher and the book is called stress less accomplish more. Yes yeah and then she has on the cover of the book meditation for Extraordinary Performance. All K- so her she's she's highly highly entertaining and and I actually found out about her through another functional medicine practitioner. Dr Mark Hyman. Oh yeah and so the AD Mark was saying that he he loves ZIVA. So that's when I checked out Emily Fletcher right off ever on the show Guy Evil Ed. She's she's charming and yeah quite quite snappy. Yeah well Susan I want to ask you a questionable bullying because I worked in that field for a longtime. Do you have a story that you can share with us where maybe mindfulness would have made a difference. Somehow I have many but I was also a high school teacher teacher. Oh and so. I love the grade nine. Tens they were. They were my absolute favorite. And I know there's a lot of people who wouldn't want that but I also live with people that suffer with anxiety and depression and want to kill themselves so I like that group and so yeah I can tell you about a story. Worry where I. I believe. Mindfulness teaching that in high school would have made a massive difference. An in my own way I I did make a difference. You've been a teacher. John A son who will kids the cool grew. Oh Yeah and then there's the kids who are struggling And so I wanted to create create a real synergy in connection in my classroom. That didn't exist outside of my classroom. And so one of the really really cool girls were name was Katie is great Ted class and so I- paired them up to do projects that they were going to work on in the coming weeks and when when I paired Katie up with Sam Samantha it was the And I I looked at Sam and looked at Katie Eighty and Sam had caught it all some anthro was well aware that was not in the cold group and her whole body Bruce just collapse she she. The head went down and it was awful so I tabbed Katie on the shoulder after we divvied out all the partners in Katie. I need you to come with me. We're going to go get some things out of the other room for this project and as soon as we got out in the hallway. I had no intention and we didn't need anything from another room. What I said was I want to explain to you what I saw and you weren't present enough because you're getting the laugh from your friends You were getting the support from your friends and you didn't see the look on Sam's face and do you think that her life would be better if she had a partner and maybe just I mean maybe if you accepted her any others would too and Katie started to cry. which was wonderful that that was? I wanted her to connect with that emotion And she said home miss ask what do I do. I made the AMI's white. What you could do is go back in and you can tell Sam how pleased you are that she's your partner? How excited you are to work on this project with her? Because you believe that the two of you are going to knock it out of the park. And she's Miss. I'll do it. I'll do it so your your question hat. Mindfulness fullness and I didn't know this at the time this is a long time ago before my dirty to the brain and and meditation but I do believe in my hi classroom being mindful and being present and teaching breathing would have had an amazing effect on all of my high school students and that I got to work with but I hope that is a mindfulness story. Where bringing the present awareness and looking at others is being in the moment Susan? That's a great story. It really is because absolutely true. All of our teachers all our students all of our citizens can benefit for mindfulness thankfulness. Small being in mindfulness mode. There's no doubt about it being present. Yeah for sure Susan as we move forward in the interview I want to ask you five. I quick answer questions. Only thirty second answers are perfect for someone who is one person who has influenced mindfulness in your life. Chris Inflammation I don't my mother and my mother was Very devout and prayer was a big part of her life and that was a very mindful time. She started her morning in prayer. And so did you as well because of that heck knows tater approve teenager so he didn't do that but you are in late by it. Though that I was. Yeah for sure. How has mindfulness affected your emotion? Susan there is night and day when we first started this and I. I didn't know what we were taking on living with people day in and day out and people in crisis prudes is. I need to be mindful of every word that I say. I need to watch every facial expression and mindfulness has allowed me to be more present for others and to be a neutral mirror her so that people can really do their own healing and the I.. Credit mindfulness to to being in the moment in prison and listening to people. Wow Oh it's fantastic. What you do? It's just wonderful. Tell us about. Breathing is part of your mindfulness. Absolutely and it's actually the first thing that we not. There's another source that your listeners may like Brian Johnson. Ease out of California thing and he if you go online. He's got something. How philosophers sopher notes so he takes wonderful amazing books and he condenses them into ten minute videos occur and then he he does some different different series too where he takes a combination of those books to teach a message? One of the first things that we teach is his masterclass called breathing. One one okay and it's again it's brain related because you can bring the brain from a fighter flight mode into rest and digest simply employees by breathing and especially to X.. Breathing as Ziva calls it so it's breathing in for too breathing running out for four breathing in for three breathing out for six. So the two times the release brings the brain in right-back into a a really calm place and most people that come to us. Almost everybody does very shallow breath and so the first thing that we really focus on his diaper matic breathing in having people physically feel the stomach rises their breathing. And it's a very new feelings pulling for almost everybody and you said the man's name is Brian or Ryan it's Ryan Johnson Johnson. Yeah okay philosophers not see. I'm going to check out Brian. Johnson breathing breathing. One A worthing one. Oh one is is one of the best classes and he doesn't enough a fund style and it really appeals to to our client base who are usually young adult that sometimes more mature adults too. Yeah we'll put that in our show notes not as well so yeah breathing one. Oh one awesome. You've shared that and can you recommend a book that somehow related to mindfulness a talk relating to mindfulness is there's so many there are some miniature I have a few that that were take take Nakhon. Yes and there's a whole series that came out so not just one but I I find his reading to be filled with with mindfulness. So yeah took not home for sure. Yeah for sure. And what about an APP. Is there any kind of APP that you recommend it can on fullness I run run from anything on an APP and it's because I spent so much time on the phone with families so much time on technology but what but I do like it's not an APP but I have something called an aura ring which is oh you are a and instead of you know. A lot of people are wearing a watch now now to to do this. I like tracking my sleep and I like looking at my sleep data and I like looking at my breath because my looking got my heart rate and breathing tells me how much I've been in mindfulness during the day. So I like looking at all of that data. Well that's very cool. We'll nobody's ever suggested on the show before I don't think in it. Looks like a nice stylish harangue. Oh yeah so I love the ordering. It's with me all the time and it has wi fi but you can turn the Wifi off at night so you're not getting the MS right and that's good for your brain to turn that Wifi off as an alternate wi fi in our home. y'All should at night yeah. I Know Airport airplane mode on my phone every night. Yeah I don't want that gone beside my head ahead or anything I don't know. Yeah well you have been just so fascinating to talk to and you do so much and your your website. I know it's Emergo Burgo. Recovery Dot Com E. M. E. R. G. O. EMERGO RECOVERY DOT COM and for those of free listeners and feud means rise above. Oh Margot is a Latin phrase meaning rise above and I WANNA tie that back into mindfulness too because mindfulness allows you to rise above whatever the freight whatever they the chaos is. Mindfulness brings you back to that at present and allows you to rise above. The situation truly does do that. And I know you're unlinked in at Susan Kenny S. USA N. and K. E. N. N. E. Y.. Yeah Yep so Lincoln. That's a great place to connect Susan. It has has been really a pleasure to talk to frankly this interview. Thanks so much for being under the influence mode and we're in the same province. I know we're saying close I right now. We'll have to meet up for coffee sometime. I think we could. Toronto would be like the midway point. Yeah for sure will have to do that. Thanks Bruce thanks thanks take care bye now. Thanks so much for joining us today on mindfulness mode for show notes for every episode GIECO. Mindfulness mindfulness mode DOT COM and tight. The guest's name or the episode number into the search bar. You can also mindfulness mode dot com slash. Whatever episode number? You like. If you've enjoyed this podcast you can help us out by subscribing to mindfulness mode wherever you listen whether whether it's on itunes or stitcher Google play spotify so many places. You can hear mindfulness mode. So hit subscribe describe and share because that truly helps our show and remember what I mentioned at the top of the show a weakened with focus a twelve minute meditation. Just for you recorded by me. You can be alert focused after waking. That's what is all about feel invigorated fresh and dynamic. Let your vibrancy feed those around. You download this meditation in to help you get going in the morning at mindfulness mode dot com slash awaken with focus so remember subscribing and sharing helps helps keep mindfulness mode on the air till next time. Mindful tribe us what we learned today to reach new heights of calm. Focus and happiness stay in the commode.

Susan Susan Bruce Langford Depression Wim Hof Susan Kenny marijuana US Emily Fletcher Anxiety CO founder melatonin Katie Eighty Moretti Technician Marijuana emergo Netflix
484 Deep Connection For Couples With Empathi Founder, Figs OSullivan

Mindfulness Mode

41:11 min | 1 year ago

484 Deep Connection For Couples With Empathi Founder, Figs OSullivan

"Mindfulness mode four. Eighty four. What we have to be with and be mindful of then immerse them is something? That's actually should he kind of unpleasant reach new heights of calm focus unhappiness here on mindfulness mode with me your host and mindfulness life coach. Bruce Bruce Langford hey mindful tribe. We're talking all about relationships today and we all need to work on our relationships from time to time and make sure that they're they're on point in their the way they need to be in that. We're having good communication well. Speaking of communication and relationships. I have an amazing relationship expert with me. Today I have figs O'Sullivan. Hey figs. Are you in mindfulness mode today. I I am thank you. Ruth really honored to be on your show. Thanks for having me on. Oh my pleasure. It's so great to have you here. Big Joe Sullivan. Helps couples study their their moment to moment experience and understand the dynamic they create together to help them be more present with yourself end with each other. And that's where mindfulness comes in being present with yourself being present with each other. He's a licensed marriage and family. Therapist and has a passionate entrepreneur is driven to change lives for the better and he's constantly working on his psychotherapeutic approach and his passionate about helping couples love each other more and feel totally connected so all all of that stuff is absolutely phenomenal on a must be an incredibly rewarding career that you've chosen to help people be more connected. Is it incredibly incredibly yes absolutely. It's I always count my lucky stars that what I get to do to make living helps people so much. Oh it's phenomenally rewarding and I'm really dynamic like every day every hour is is different than there's no you can't ever dial it in you know like you asked to be at my best and fully folly presents every single hour that I'm sitting with a couple you know I can't have any pre planned or preconceived notions about howdy. Our is GonNa go or what we're going to do because you know then I would My ability to actually truly meet the moment that be what what is would be limited offended and of course then that would limit my ability to truly help you know two couples sitting in front of me of course that level of presence that you talk to me. That's mindfulness. What does mindfulness mean to you? Fix Yeah exactly I. For many years studied gestalt as an awareness in his practice. It was almost like a spiritual practice ago. gestalt awareness breakfast and The main kind of our little tagline is how can we be with Watt is with graft Graf in the spirit of Aloha. So how would we be would what is with brass and the spirit of aloha. So basically what that means to me is you know how can I truly truly be immersed in this moment whether that's I'm happy sad anxious like actually truly be in and I breathe read into it. You know as opposed to trying to get rid of it and then can I you know in the spirit of aloha. Which of course you know a Hawaiian word? That means many many many many things. It's hello it's goodbye. It's the are welcome. It's everything all at once right. So Yeah and then obviously would couples I'd like to practice this form of mindfulness with couples. Because usually it's in a very escalated moment it's all well and good you know You know don't get me wrong. I know it's still really hard ride to be sitting in a room facing the walls. You know you know and everything is calm around ends you am. I prefer doing it into trenches in the middle of a war zone right because typically when a couple of first comes to see me there are two competing narratives and both of those narrative. Start with your two one. That's hurt me from you know both people I'm hurting and you're to win. It did it to me and so they were pretty they steal alike and seem like an emotional threat to each other. So what we have to be with and be mindful alive and then immersed in is something. That's actually kind of unpleasant. Anad couple would rather move over there desperately trying to get out of it but of course everything they do to try and not be fully immersed in this moment actually makes it worse all the attempts to get out of Biz Momon. Oh Man will one of the ways I putted as I. Everyone thinks they've can of water in her hand. If I explained to my partner what they just did wrong than and maybe they'll change but of course the data's not a can of water that was actually a cans filled with gasoline. So it may because it land like it's a criticism the schism on your partner and just like to partner might like. Let's say there are mindfulness practitioner. Day May my partners upset with me. I'm going to get real ZAN about this. Go inside a and try and censor myself which of course even though a Malay make logical sense and seems like a can of water. It'll actually land on their part or like. Why aren't you really here? It looks like you're disappearing into your practice. And of course that'll really hurt their feelings and so of course that wasn't a kind of water either. That was a can of gasoline. And it'll increase the flames of this connection and so I then have to work inside of myself to truly truly be in the moment and not trying to escape the discomfort of this conflict that I see in front of me so that I can reflect the back to them accurately. I'm IRA nucle- paradoxically. My work is not the try and get out of it. It's too actually immerse them even deeper and deeper into it and it's true dive deep immersion awareness and study of that. It can turn into something else or you described described. How you kind of look into someone else's relationship and you can help them for that reason because you're standing back and looking in but what is your biggest challenge in your own relationships when it comes to you? How do you manage when you're the person that it does all of this energy and helping other people Yeah well so look I I always have my number one qualification to do. This work is his. I'm a wounded human being. How do I do it? I get triggered an activated and have unconscious or reactive behavior all the time we museum. I'm a I'm a traumatized. Human being like all couples work is trauma work What are people like to admit it or not? And so I'm relatively relatively decent at helping couples because I have trauma and Saddam means I get challenge all the time not sitting on some Matt Up. Look Down Allen people what they do from some face that I've arrived. I gotTa do this work all day every day. My Wife's a couples therapist because we love each other narrower moments uh-huh where it looks like we're not there for each other in some particular flavor that's important to the other person. The person's feelings get hurt. So my feelings go talk about my feelings get hurt and then I have reactivity wetter I dan shutdown or blame or criticize or you know tell a joke or minimize. What's happening opening? I do something that is born out of a protest of Like it's an unconscious protest to try and get away from the pain of disconnection are not feeling securely bonded in a given moment of time I mean so that's where the work really begin so my work then begins as can. I be aware aware that what I just did. And said or didn't do and say was actually born out of reactivity and then can I ask myself I south and I do right like you know even though I have a story about where this discomfort came from from the world outside of me you know. Oh Kim for my wife's behavior but that's kind of that's a dead end. There's no really interesting information to be gained from that now. Can I ask myself a question. That's much more interesting. which is wash is at? That's happening inside of me and that is just mine. That Code Elicit this this unconscious and or reactive behavior. And you know there's an assumption I have and obviously when I tested strew embiid's because I there's some flavor of love that I'm not getting that's really important. Now whether that's being seen heard valued loved cared for prioritize our ties some flavor of love. I didn't get and because that's so important. I'm actually really hurting macgyver. Vulnerable emotion right even I. I wasn't aware of it so now I can. I and I realized what the Unmet love need is and I feel the vulnerable feeling that actually truly Rulli is the source of where that reactive are unconscious. Behavior came from and now I have this which often can be a hard work award. The hard work is now. Can I turn to my wife and Taylor note away. I actually seemed like I was upset with you. I side or I seem to be you know how by pulling away from you. What actually was happening inside me was I actually? I felt like I was alone or you weren't there for me and I got sad So I basically reverse engineer my reactivity to my vulnerability and then I share my bunker. I see when we have two people. My wife Obviously Asli is committed to doing that too. Because that's where now there's a bridge where we could you know empathize with each other and connect with each other. Thank you for explaining. That vulnerability is such a huge part of a healthy relationship. Really is isn't it absolutely. It's key and your or businesses called empathy empathy dot com with an eye. EMP A.. T. H. I.. Tell me why you call it. Empathy a thief Dot Com empathy with an I though the first thing is the guy that owns empathy with a wide dot com. Wouldn't sell it to me okay. I probably couldn't have afforded it so again and I'm here in San Francisco so we're always like coming up with funny. New silly spellings sure so. Of course. That's why empathy with an I it work practically and much. More importantly than empathy is the key as shared empathic experience between two people right. I'm communities of people. Bowl right is at the key in order for people to feel connected to each other and so that was the first thing I have to try and help people do and do myself. And my own merits. It is be able to go from escalated moments right where we seem like a threat to each other to de-escalated moments where we could have empathy empathy for each other. An embassy being. I can actually accept that your feelings. I can actually validate your feelings. I can feel inside myself. The pain that you're in it matters to me. I can share like I can actually show you that. I accept validate. Feel an impact sneak because I love you and care about you and and so we're we're trying to have those was shared empathic moments because born out of those shared empathic. Moments is the possibility that we could. Dan Love Comfort. Sue mm-hmm artery chop. I've read that. We are in a crisis with the amount of porn out there that especially young men are exposed host to do you feel that being exposed to this much porn is shutting down our natural ability to have healthy sex lives lives. The you know the little I've you know read about it. You know our brains are not built to have that much stimulation right. Like there's there's you know what I understand is I ten thousand years ago. A young man might see like fifty eligible mates in their lifetime right now. A young man might see fifty in four minutes right right. You know this guy brain our brains. These are not actually bill to handle that much stimulate And does their unintended consequences. That then like like when it comes to our ability to be stimulated into real world than to be able to connect emotionally with a primary other bats bats suffers as a result of is kind of over-stimulation and your mind seeing you know potential mates like flash confronted onto them over and over and over again. So Yeah I've no doubt it doesn't help right. The one thing I would say is for what I what I see with couples. And it's unfortunate is that like People will only change out of inspiration or desperation and you can count on one hand. The number of people in human history that have changed out of inspiration so the one little silver lining about. Let's say Lino over the use of corn or like cheating or overuse video games Sir over blaming or over shutting down is. Hopefully it'll gat us to a crisis point sooner rather than later and that will be an opportunity to actually schiff and Nusa do. It'll it'll hurt a NAS. It'll be painful enough that there will be a window of opportunity where we actually could do. The personal work necessary be able to actually be truly connected ourselves valve tolerate our own internal experience and then to be able to connect with another and the world outside you without having to mediated through. Pick your addiction or poison or whatever you will sure yeah always curious about that because it's so readily available now now even more so than say twenty years much more so and I was wondering if you'd noticed a difference in your practice in how many people have come to you and found experiencing dysfunction passably as a result of that. Well it certainly comes up. It wouldn't be the predominant reason The dominant reason why people come to see me but it definitely is an issue at comes up for sure. Let's say that scenario uh-huh is true that a couple of comes to see me because one person is being using or alive and turning towards Orne does turning away from there are are for for regulation and you know comfort The first thing that the deal would is this cycle that the couple were in together that could have led to that happening by the try and deal with the betrayal itself and then we can do do things. Well if we can see and make sense of like oh I get what's happening when you feel uncomfortable inside or parts of you that hard for you to own and share with another. It's easy to turn elsewhere. And but of course when you turn elsewhere it really hurts. Partner leaves them feeling abandoned in the wonder they'd be upset and disappointed him feel betrayed. Where you which of course make you feel worse and now you're more likely to turn elsewhere? Swear if we can get to a place where we can see. Even though let's say that behavior is maladaptive is not good for your relationship but at least if we can put it into context ex of I can see and understand what's happening in the system between both of you then maybe there's a platform we could stand on together to work together as a team for. How do we tackle this going forward because if we go straight into what are we going to do about your poor news? Most likely all I'm GONNA manage to do is shame someone and make them close off and even less likely to feel safe in the therapeutic container so no one has to be quite skillful and you know earn an alliance with both people in a couple even if there is a behavior that for sure or at some point we're really going to have explore like hey was his about what we're GONNA do. You know the order of things is actually quite or yeah. Well I'm I am told that one of the things that sets you apart. Is your sense of humor that you're really funny. What you say about you about your humor? Well look look one of the things that I find like is very helpful is if you're going to give someone a reflection of themselves right like you always WanNa do you would love and kindness or shore right and make sure they always note. I love you you make sense to me. Like even if we're Talkin about this thing you do. That isn't particularly helpful. But one of the great things is. There's another way to do that. And then you could do it in a completely exaggerated wet by which is walk comics do right. It's like. Let's say there's someone that am every time they're upset with their spouse a they talk Kabaya political ideology in public that they know their spouse doesn't lie right Ri- day they start sharing stuff about like how much they loved trump right. Yeah so what. I'll do them to reflect that behavior is I will then start saying so. Look I know today. You've gone on your boat your Maga- hats and you've got your mic microphone or megaphone and as soon as your husband is going to be like shopping for cereal. You're we're going to be you know trying to trying to hold a rally in support of trump in the supermarket right now obviously. That's a huge gross exaggeration. From I'm wanted his they might say at a dinner party kind of a little stab. Little poke of their spouse. Their husband bought by exaggerating during the behavior. I've made it safe for them to act for a bit on the deck associated. They can laugh at themselves. They don't have to feel threaten that they're being accused of doing something thing and yet at the same time they might be able to see. The reflection of wowed is really is something I do when I'm hurting. It's a reaction right. It's a you know as opposed to being the source of what. I'm really feeling right. I love someone told me I actually had declined. Find One says Russian clients shared his Russian saying in every joke. There's a little joe is in every joke. There's only a little little bit of joke. Like most of us in a joke is truth. Why it's funny and so the joke is only a tiny part? So when I joe I managed to get past clients gatekeepers are Darab superego. I managed to get past their protector. Like the gatekeepers or the you know. The the people guarding their sense of self are temporarily distracted by having a good laugh so that some of the the truth gets in. Can you tell us a story about an actual client or a couple that you've worked with that that you know you really helped them to transform into your different kind of writing proved relationship. Yeah well look obviously had to be very careful that people have these allies in the Bible and family therapist. Would you you know pretty. Recently I had a couple come see me that were already. You're already divorced. And they had gone to cope was counseling. And the couple's counselor actually advised of after one or two sessions couple. Cancer Cold One spouse as they're driving home and told them look. There's no you should divorce your spot which is just like pillowcase covers. Counselors it's hard to fathom another couple's counselor doing such a thing this is awful and so they actually but a time to came to see me. They were divorce there. Were living in separate states. We had to do sessions of I over video conference by with them to different locations and You know within the space giving them a framework of being able to it. I see how Kamerhe both of you are hurting. And both of YOU ADUM staff staff to get us to a place like this instead of trying to like shame either one of them or get either one of them to take accountability for their behavior trying to work on Indus. Seeing the system were both in were able to get to a place that would they could go visit each other. And we do some of the sessions in person and then we're able to go from doing some sessions in person to actually having moments where they're able to really feel the grief and the pain of everything that happened and cried together and start to be able to comfort each other to the point where where they are now is. They're back living living together and their primary home and just feeling so grateful to be back connected to each other and that you know obviously either still grief there at the time they spend where they lost each other a theory based thankful every day that they managed to find their way back. Wow Wow that's a powerful story. There looked to be honest that say three month process. Wow that's from impossible like it seeming absolutely impossible. I'm literally separated by you. Know Plane Rides to back connected and loving each other. That was fabulous Tor- yeah what are the percentages of people you work with virtually over the Internet compared to people who actually come to see you in person. Yeah I would. I'd say it's ninety ten all like ninety percent of time. I work with people in person. Now I'd love to work with more people virtually and VIP team. I've nine hundred therapy. M My team. unsawn on counselors coaches. So we we're actually working towards trying to see more people virtually 'cause with feel like it. Actually she works very well would couples especially the coupler in the same room. Together right Ri- because if the couples in the same room together the aliveness that we need to harness the create connection. It's idea ride bags a really good. And and of course the couple we would have to. There has to be a manageable level of escalation. The work leader there can't be any. Domestic is a risk of domestic violence or in person or online at work and then the other thing is if we're going to do. Virtual ritual are true videoconference zoom or. Something like we're doing. The couple has to be able to stay in study of their air cycle to the point that they can stay in the frame of the video. If they're not able to sign a frame one person gets upset. I'm Outta here I got to go to the other room or added is then like it's not gonNa work. You got it right so there has to be an ability to stay with inside your window. Tolerance the study your escalated elated moments. Happen in real time. which hopefully when I work with couples? I love when they get escalated in real time because as brilliant part of the great thing about being a couples counselor. Is We get the work. I don't get these talk about things. conceptually ride as easy part like tolkien could subsidies also also I also have the his other skill. which is I gotta be a Craftsperson an artist which is how do I take people in the living breathing moments of time where they're really threatened and threatening to actually feeling their limbic system literally letting down a NAS feeling threatened anymore and and then being able to Bam have this up experience but each other so very feeling the art craft of my work but I do obviously like talking thing about the philosophy the methodology of it all to of course? Yeah so what's the price point like is the same. Would it be the same price online. Line is it would be if people came to your office. Or what's that yeah. I mean the prices Berry by clinician and our coach and that's all cans on experience experience of course and you know I'm definitely Dec- me personally definitely on the highest end of the fee range but then we have people every level and we will have online courses and free tool so what we try and do is make sure that anybody that wants help. And that's the the whole mission of empathy is we want to try and make factor of fun engaging Korg ask help or relationship availables is everyone independent of location independent of cost their fee am and so that's why we built the company and the tools we have and the ability to in person on online at all different price points. That's great and you're online courses are do they show up on your website. Yeah Yeah you're right. No I know we only have one online course that shows up on the website. Ms The flagship course. And that's the learning to love better to conflict solution right. Amounts you know I. That's my attempt to put as much as possible in a self paced course at someone could get on their own without coming to see me or someone might and then there were people obviously do a totally on their own and there are people that do that cores in conjunction with counseling or coaching chick. Yeah of course I built a queen. I built this whole web opera couples. That's free on like overwhelm your listeners. With information but like you can go dude as you answer a bunch of questions if you go to amphitheater calm and hit the quisling you answer a bunch of questions about yourself. It'll then send you this reflection action this year. We call it yourself. Discovery report L.. Tell you who you are in love and relationship from an attachment systems theory perspective attachment theory and systems systems theory perspective. And then if you elect to invite your partner or spouse they then would take the quiz via the invite link you sent them. And then they'll get their self-discovery report. It was how them who they themselves are in love and relationship from an attack from perspective but then most importantly most interestingly because now we have both of your your answer we then give you your relationship system report an in that relationship system report. It shows you who you are to gather as one entity why on how you co create the worst moments in your relationship and all the steps you need to do to make love work for the rest of your life while and that's all all free fee ovary as you could imagine. My wife is not too happy with me. Spending all the money that caused to develop that free process ask but again look like I'm here in San Francisco. I'm like you know couples therapist to many of the Silicon Valley and San Francisco leads and it kills owes me that I. There's only so many people I can help like one couple of time my office so I I love what I do like I said I feel so lucky that I found this thing that happened to be pretty decent that and I want to help as many people as possible so that what has really or like life just one all arches a course or whether it's counseling coaching. I whatever I can do I just love your passion for this time is awesome it really is. I want to ask you a questionable bullying because I always ask a question about the stop and do you have a story. I don't know whether you were bullied or were there. Maybe you were a bully Lee or whether you have a story about bullying where mindfulness would have made a difference. Maybe you can help me talk thing through. Mindfulness would make a difference. But I'll tell you you know I haven't fully integrated this experience myself so I'm like. Does it even count is bullying. I guess it does like when I was Abou- Eleven twelve years old. My family moved from the suburbs. Who the inner city? Yes I totally move from tract housing in Ireland into like the big red brick houses and I always thought like I was center. Maybe all kids do was the center of this group of friends. Anything I thought I was the leader of his group of friends. Once it became known to these group of Friends I had that I was leaving and I don't know how many months ago Like layers like maybe. There's three months or six months once join fair and maybe it's an I. You know the kids mind. Maybe it was a mom that I was leaving. Those those friends totally rejected a while like Nobody nobody talk to me. I we played on the same soccer team. We can change the same change room no and talk to me. There were rumors spread about me that I said terrible things about people's mom mothers others and like the soccer coach tried to intervene camp counselors tried to intervene and Judas. Judas Day now one of those people have ever told him and so as a kid that was devastating devastating even after I moved into the centre of Dublin City. I try to stay on. The same. Soccer team. Might get the bus out to the suburbs and I tried to keep playing with them but like again. It's still very confusing to me. That nobody talk and I it was so painful for me and I was so ashamed like as a kid. I was so ashamed being rejected by my friend's Dad. I never told my parents. My Dad's with Arabism I mommas associate worker and works with you know youth at the time and so right but it was so shameful for me to being zone that I couldn't tell them really what I was going through and so and I would say like to this day you know like I you know I eh. I can tell a good story I can be funny. I could be charismatic or whatever but there is still a part of me that I can feel. I'm really only a hair's breath away from being rejected and community and especially with is is right. No I always say like outside of my you know family of origin wounding stuff. You know that experience was the most painful thing that's ever happened to be. That has a big impact on me. You know and how I relate to the world and and people and maybe you'll get even plays a part in the halime couple's therapist break because the work I do is a couple of therapists are going to help people dude as one thing. I'm not going to help them. They're not going to stay with me forever. I wanted to be able oh to coagulate each other and then leave of course right so they don't the ideas like that. We do some work together and it end right As opposed to individual counseling person could be with me for years and years and years. That's a harder relationship bride because more vulnerable for me. Yeah so yeah that's that's bow. Wow Wow does incredible. I must have been so tough. I WANNA move forward and ask you five quick answer questions fig the first one is this who is one person that influenced mindfulness in your life. Well one to pick one person. That's a good one. I would say person that probably influenced mindfulness to most of my life is Christine Price Christine. Chris Price is is a you know. A gestalt awareness practice teacher live that Asllan marrived at eslainer south when she was seventeen or eighteen years old and Lino studied Edwige de Creators of Asa Land and the judicial therapy. And so. That's when I I really you know I lived there in two thousand and three thousand four and studied with her for like five or six years after that. She's probably the biggest. She was my first. Mindfulness teacher feature and longest. Yeah well how is. Mindfulness affected your emotions. Well I mean you know they'd get it helps me feel like I have some autonomy and control over my life like the world's not happening like it's an amazing raising difference when you feel the world is just happening to you versus you're able to you know be aware of what's happening inside you and make choices choices and decisions that are Dan empowered through your awareness versus just reacting ensure results in a hell of a lot less suffering it out for me personally. I don't know how like a Cana on their stay. How much less I suffer? When I'm able to be mindful with my own experience and see the world from that perspective versus only see what the world is doing to me and how powerless I am over it? You know So yeah shoes huge or found difference in the amount. I suffer through practicing mindfulness. Tell us how breathing is part of your mind. Mindfulness practice or is it well. No it is absolutely absolutely you know like I said you know a lot of the work I do and then just in my life in general the first thing that happens if I feel threatened as I stopped breathing. And that's just what human beings do in general in fact so in a moment where I feel threatened or I see something threatening in my environment. I am able to be aware of what's happening inside me. And then I'm able to come back home. And how icon unqoute mccomb is like actually to inhabit my own body and how I inhabit my own. Bobby is regret the first thing that I might be talking to you but if I got triggered like a you might see that they might look like anything has changed. But I've noticed that I'm contracting under the very first thing I'm GonNa do is GonNa try Ryan come back home into my own experience. How I do that is infusing my body with my breath aware breath so does all it is happening thing like in the background of the conversation? I'm feeling me as I see you and how I make that. Circular Awareness Shift is drew my breath and can you recommend a book that's related to mindfulness and possibly related to relationships in couples or look. I'll tell you the book I recommend the most. The individual clients is Tara. Brock's radical acceptance. That's my number one which you know is a Buddhist approach approach to appreciative understanding. Shame and and transforming shame right I find that to be immensely powerful for me and for other other people. Can you recommend an APP which can help you know the only APP have any experience in with all I mean look. Empathy Dot Com was highly inspired by the end of the comments. Great you get weekly little evocative one-sentence to symptoms reminders. And you can change them to every day host. Actually an APP while it's a web APP. It's non-cable you can do. It's not a mobile APP. Okay Good I. It was a lot of the design of empathy was inspired by head space. Okay I love head space and then the other one that actually because I've explored doing in some work with them. Mindfulness relationship but I decided not to create content for them. But so I'm familiar with it and I like it is simple habit okay. Because because they believe there was just short or little meditations and they're pretty soon. It's a pretty simple APP US so head space. I think is still all some and the leader in the space. Obviously Com is a good one c. a. l. m. is a really good one at ten percent. Happier is terribly I if being here in San Francisco I know oh too many of these athletes. I still think had spaces the leader in the space. And it's probably the most innovative and continually adding more stuff off right but cam and ten percent happier really good and simple simple habit if we'll put that in our show at mindfulness mode dot com. So yeah yeah check out the show notes. I wanted to ask you about your opinion of the series of books. The five love languages by Gary Chapman. Yeah do you encourage people to use those resources. No I mean log. I don't how would I say that it's like I. I have nothing against them. And I don't think there are bad per se but it's pretty it's surface level. You know it's terrible. It's just not lewd the work that I do. I try and get to the core of what someone's thunder ability is a rare bears like on NAT light unfinished emotional business We try and get right into to the center of it and go right face where it hurts the most and then trying to transform those moments so like if someone wants to put a band aid on an issue Dumbarton coming to see I see I look at the five love languages as bandaids are. Great though is abandoned is a helpful little like to bid to work out what someone's flavor of love like. It's very helpful. It doesn't really get to the real core of the issue so I would like if you want to. Supplement supplement. The core. Work you do with you know then a supplemental material like the five love languages. Great but at some point in your life I sure hope you do too real deep work getting to know your most vulnerable south feeling daring to stay in a sharing that part of you with another in a living ingredient moments of time. That's going to be pretty pretty scary work do but that's how we really transform. So that's my honest opinion. Yeah I appreciate that tonight You sharing so much with us today figs. It's been really great to talk to you about all this. Thank you so much for having me on. I really love Dr Our time talking and I appreciate your listeners. That made it this far listening to me absolutely and once more I'll show. Your website is. Yeah Yeah empathy with an I at the end Nada Y.. EMPATHY DOT COM. Check it out and there's even a free tool there that you can use so oh that sounds amazing. Thank you so much for being here. You're so welcome. Thank you. So much bruce. You're welcome bye now. Thanks so much for joining us today on mindfulness mode for show notes for every episode checkout Mindfulness Mode Dot Com and tight the guest's name or the episode number number into the search bar. You can also mindfulness mode dot com slash. Whatever episode number? You like. If you've enjoyed this podcast you could help us out by subscribing to mindfulness mode. Wherever you listen whether it's on itunes or stitcher Google play spotify? Why so many places? You can hear mindfulness mode so hit subscribe and share because that truly helps our show till well next time. Mindful tribe us what we learned today to reach new heights of calm focused and happiness stay in the mode

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Bring Gratitude To Your Table; Karl Staib

Mindfulness Mode

43:50 min | 1 year ago

Bring Gratitude To Your Table; Karl Staib

"Reach new heights of calm. Focus and happiness. You're on mindfulness mode with me. Your host and Mindfulness Life Coach Bruce Langford. Hey Mindful tribe. We've been talking about gratitude a lot. I've been talking about jotting down your thoughts and your ideas and gratitude. That were just keeps coming up over and over and over and I am so grateful right now today to have a guy with me who is absolutely passionate about gratitude from the word. Go and I'm so excited to have curl with me today. Hey Carl mindfulness mode today yes I am. I am very excited to be here. Yeah me too Carl. Stab- is a passionate believer in gratitude. He struggled with staying positive especially during the time his father was dying and he could feel old habits starting to creep back a tendency towards being insensitive and kind of complaining. Carl decided to challenge himself to be more grateful and to take his gratitude even further he began to journal an adopted daily gratitude practice. Now Guess What. His new writing routines turned into a book called bring gratitude and I can highly recommend this book mindful tribe he he Kind of moved forward and His losted joy began to magically slip back into his life. Now Science indicates that a healthy gratitude practice can improve relationships resilience and even sleep patterns and even more impressive regular gratitude can help deliver momentum during times of challenge and these times are certainly times of challenge. Aren't they Carl? I mean man. What a time. How are you doing doing okay doing okay? And like you said lockdown cove in nineteen as is upon us I expected we. We won't just talk Or I won't I won't just talk about the cove. Nineteen I want this to be Overarching and how important it is that. I think we struggle daily. We struggled daily a year ago. Two years ago It's the human condition and it's what we work with In one of the best ways to deal with that in process is gratitude. I absolutely agree and I love how you started your book. You started with these words. You're not the same person you were a year ago. And why did you decide to start your book? Way Carl. We are always change. And I think it's so important to realize that Gross should be a daily part of our lives instead of New Year's resolution or Some big grand gestures that we That we strive for because it's the little things that add up the little habits that we build the little mindset shifts that we make on a daily basis or improvements that we make Is what brings US happiness They've they're I mean they're study after study is somebody gets a new a new job New Bump in pay and within a month or two. They're back to their old set points. And that's that's stuff I will want people to work on. Is this daily stuff that can really make that big those small leaps into big leaps. Well for me. Gratitude is a huge part of mindfulness. But Carl what does mindfulness mean to you? It's about being aware it's about understanding who we are and how we can stay presence in the situation by not judging it not expecting Too much from it and just learning as we go well. Your book is terrific and I love chapter as you called it tough battery. Can you share with mindful tribe? A little bit about that chapter. And why you you called it tough battery. Yeah I I've been influenced by a lot of different writers But I think as I've grown as a writer. I like the idea of of how people put feelings or You know separate issues on inanimate objects And so when I call tough battery It's battery to me just is symbol of where my mindset was I was in a rush. I was trying to get into the house and a messing with his battery It wasn't working so I got A screwdriver and I was trying to open it up and I jammed it into my hand and I just wasn't being very mindful and thinking things through because as soon as I did it I stopped and I realize like how impatient I was being in that moment and how it wasn't being grateful for the ability and it was. It was a very small turning point but become has become momentous because now even if I look back and I laugh at how I stabbed myself screwdriver and Howard's L. It's change be an and it improves. How I look at things and how I process things. Well your website is called bring gratitude dot com which is such a great name for a website. And you know I love how you've included so many tools in this book. I mean it's a it's an easy read. It's enjoyable to read because there are so many stories and you have a very easy to follow tone. You've written this book with but you end with gratitude toolbox. Can you share a couple of the tools out of the Toolbox Carl? You're so many little tools that we can apply I think you know one of the most important things is is building these habits building these mindfulness habits that help us grow as a person and help us bring more joy into our lives. Now I'd like to think of it as joy versus happiness or instead of happiness because you know joy is something that we can always tap into Happiness is sometimes very elusive And it's something that we strive for and we don't always reach but joyful in essence just this commonplace inside us that allows us to be present in the moment and feel the gratitude just for being alive and so Some of the tools that I teach my clients is look at our daily habits that you do Let's look at brushing teeth so every night. You Brush your teeth. What do you normally do as you brush teeth? You think about things you did that day. Are you worry about things you have to do tomorrow will? This is two minutes of your time that you can start making some mental shifts. That can really help with your with your Joycelyn as in your happiness start thinking about. What are you grateful for those two minutes? And you know you'll probably do it for a few days and don't feel great and this is where most people drop off and then you've got a if you can dig a little bit deeper And this is what happened to me. I kinda hit that surface level of gratitude. Which I think you know. Ninety percent of people do But I think you know the great teachers out there they go. They go deeper. They They they want to understand where their mindset and their neural structures are at. And so as you. You know if anybody's listening right now. Brush your teeth for two minutes and just start listing things. You're grateful for and I said yes. You do your y and your what if you can do your y eight makes it so much deeper so you know What are you graceful for your grateful for being able to brush your teeth? Your you know your both arms work are whatever dominant hand works and you can clean your teeth. That's one thing you're grateful for running water that you can rinse out your teeth with your grateful for your relationships Now the thing is we hit that point of like well. What else am I grieve for? Start to think of different that you're grateful for different themes like grateful for all the great books all the great movies Memories with friends Future ideas that you want to work on. These are all things that we can be grateful for. And we can apply in our lives and his league's little tool you can use to really help. Shift your mindset and bring more energy because what I've noticed is my energy level has gone up by good twenty five percent since I've really deepened my practice and made it a daily habit. That's really impressive. Tell us about your routines and how you can use routines to really make gratitude work. Now you've kind of touched on that with the tooth brushing thing but kind of expand on it a bit if you would carl sure so. I have an evening routine that I do every night I call it sore So the idea is you know I always like tell people you got to you. Got To dig deep to fly so if you dig deep to fly high. It's kind of like you. Have this springboard right or you have a trampoline. If you're trampoline had only one short of depth to it you would just bang your feet on the bottom the farther you dig down the higher you can leak so the more you dig into these practices like meditation or Yoga like the people who truly have embraced it and and have made this part of their lives are ones that are reaping the most benefit from it so just like gratitude practice If you can find those time at the end of the night and the reason I suggest end of the night is because as you sleep. Those neural structures are strengthening. And getting deeper as you sleep there. Kind of forming those alliances. If you go to bed complaining go to bed worried. Those neural structures. Build up in your wake up more likely to complain or more likely to worry and so to build that positive outlook and perspective. That gives you that energy. I suggest people simplify things at night. Simplify your mindset right. Just write down things that you're worried about things that you need to do the next day. Get it all out of your head. You're not ruminating on them as sleep and then observed observe how you're feeling. Is there any tension too often? We don't check in with their bodies at the end of the night at times. All observe tension in my neck because I work at a computer all day long why I just closed. My computer started helping with dinner. Get the kids to bed. I got a ten year old and a five year old and then I'm like okay. Well I WANNA go to my facebook group reply to a couple people by the time the nights done. I have haven't had a chance to really check in with myself and so it's just a time the observed just for a minute or so. Just check if there's any tension and the this is body feedback there. Were trying to get to do more of kind of appreciate that. You're grateful for this body feedback instead of ignoring it waking up the next day throwing some coffee in your body and jump starting at engine then the next thing is appreciate so you have to appreciate what's going on around here and that's that gratitude and I talked about the what and the why because if you give can focus on the what and the why the why deepens it so. I suggest people to write three things. They're grateful for the last things reflection. Look back on your day and think what did I do? Well we well we. We hardly ever ask ourselves. What did we do well? How did we succeed in that day? Too often we're looking at like I did a crappy job on that email. I should have taken light time or oh. I didn't respond to this person soon enough or we're too busy beating ourselves up. Aren't we Karl? Rove up so remember what you did because we do a lot of things well. We Cook Dinner Well. We did respond well to a message. We hopped on this call together. And we're we're both bringing energy and we're bringing each other up focus on that and then say what's one thing. I can do better because we can always improve. We don't want to Overdo it and do ten things we can do better. We really want to focus on just one thing. So that's that it's takes usually about ten fifteen minutes of my night But it has done wonders for my sleep. I really love that. Acronym Soar S. O. A. R. Yeah simplify observe appreciate and then reflection and reflect on the positive things reflect on what you've done well that day and go to go to sleep feeling really good and feeling pumped up about things that you've accomplished in your life. This is really good. This really is. I appreciate this. Yeah Yeah and I. I think you like the idea. Is You know a lot of people talk a lot of my clients. Talk about you know feeling lethargic but the thing is it's it all starts with mindset when you understand why you're doing something you're using way. Power versus willpower. You know when you wake up in the morning and you force yourself out of bed and trudge through to the bathroom and trudged to the you notice the words I'm choosing right trudge for our gotta do our need to make myself a cup of coffee. This is the mindset shift that you can make and it's it's a. It's being grateful for these opportunities grateful to go to the bathroom Sunday. You won't be able to some day. You might be too old someday. You you might die in your sleep. You're GonNa wish that you just took the opportunity. They'd be grateful for a simple thing like going to the bathroom that a lot of us. Don't we take for granted right now? Yeah that's so true. It really is so curl. A lot of us have been great full. A lot of us have gratitude in our lives. But you took it one step further and you wrote a book and entire terrific book about this. What kind of mindfulness was responsible for making that happen? How long did it take you to write the book? And what was that experience like for you? It took be so rough draft was about six months so I Have job still do And I would write it on nights and weekends and During lunch I regina jot down notes of things that are thinking about. One of the stories was in there. It was about at work. You know feeling down I still do. I don't want to paint this picture of like everything. Everything is awesome. You know it's not about everything being awesome. It's it's taking time to pause and just saying you know what this part of life sucks right now but over here. This is not so bad in. Let's balance it out with a little bit of like focus in that positive direction too so we don't forget how good we have it and we can remember these things so anyway. My Dad was passing. I pulled into the parking lot at work and I broke down trying. I used to call him. He was he had gotten out of the IC unit. I know you said your wife's works in icy. You can't imagine what that's like working with people there. I applaud her for that. I think that's amazing So he he got out and I went up to visit him. came back. I just started my job and she was like just go back. I'll be fine. He got out of ICU. He seemed okay but his white blood cell count kept dropping I think it was some sort of infection on top of his MD S. which is a form of cancer before like lymphoma and gets slump. Selma leukemia sorry before leukemia. And so I fought in the work. I just gave him a joke of the day. He laughed is terrible joke. I can't even remember you know what it was but it was cheesy jokes just to kind of lifted spirits and I broke down crying and I I you know I just started this job. I could just call out sick after just a couple of weeks. I was like okay. Just go in and rate as I was getting out of my car I was like you know what I just think everything for the whole day like. Thank you door for being here. You know keeping the bugs out. Thank you a CO worker for being here kind of supporting this company. Thank you light for lighting up. Thank you An anxious tanked everything that I could. And slowly my mind set shifted. I became mindful of everything. It was kind of really kind of sensitive. Everything and as that happened are started becoming calm and I started becoming More willing to be appreciative of what was around by the end of the day. I was actually in pretty good spirits because of that super focused on just thanking everything that I could in there will be an hour to where I forget and then I'd be like oh I gotta get back to it and start thinking everything And that's one of the stories in that in that book. I think it's called. Thank you And it's just one of those little tools in the toolbox. I suggest anybody for a whole day. Try Thinking everything you see here feel It can be exhausting. I was exhausted by the end of the night. Because it's a completely different neural structures that you start building when you do that while I love that story. Carl and and I do want offer my condolences to you regarding your father. You know. It's really tough to lose your dad and I'm so sorry about that. Now one of the things you talk about in in the book is the Law of gratitude. Let's talk about the law of gratitude. Yes so thank you. Thank you for saying that It's been three and a half years since I lost my dad and you know it's A. He had a lot of faults but a lot of good things to and that kind of I wanted to shine some light on that like you know. Our relationships are far from perfect But it's you know it's what we're grateful for for that other person So the law of gratitude is You know just the idea of the more that you are graceful for things the more aggressive attitude and positive things come into your life and it's it it's truly astounding When you can walk into a room where it used to be my mindset was can't believe I have to join this meeting right you know I need to be here or I need to do all this other work but what I started doing is being grateful for each are used. I started thanking each person as I walked into the room I started thanking You know that I was able to attend this meeting And I was also I just recently finished a post about money but thanking money when it comes into your bank accounts we forget. Were just these You know let's say you get paid every two weeks. It gets deposited directly into our bank account. We don't even get a check to see to remind us like. Oh I did a lot of work the past two weeks like and I'm going to deposit the check. We forget about these things and I think it's a big part of why we struggle with having a good relationship with money as we don't celebrate it we just extinct like oh it will be here and when it's not we've freak out because we don't understand how important it was and how we have to be careful with our money and we make wise choices and so. I started this. That law thanking my money is what kind of led me to get that job which led me to create the book which brings in extra revenue I created a pack of cards. A thirty pack of cards. That you put by your toothbrush and as you put him. It's just a question of the day. Like how do you celebrate your wins like had? What did you do well today? And how can you celebrate it little questions that we forget that ask ourselves that can really help? Shift our mindset to I created a thirty day journal All this wouldn't be possible if I didn't use you know the law of gratitude by you know and there's a really great by Zig Ziglar and He says gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for and that in a nutshell is the gratitude mindset that we're all trying to accomplish yeah it really is it really. Isn't I. Imagine those those things that you mentioned? The the cards in the journal are available at your website at bring gratitude dot com. Is that right? Yeah exactly. Yeah that's great that you've made that available it really is and you know. You've you've done so much to help people. But isn't it true that you even are offering a facebook group for people who who purchased the book? Yes yeah actually. I've opened it up to people who do purchase. The book are in it but if they create a regular thirty day challenges and so their gratitude challenges the mindset. I club is the name of the facebook group But the idea of if they joined the challenge if they go to bring gratitude Dot Com slash challenge. Then they will Get Page where they can sign up for the next challenge. Was they'll get his regular emails Pro Journal. Trump's for them to write in their journal And then that community were we post gratitude. I ask the question of the day And it's been a nice little thriving community. There's a twenty four hundred people in that. Oh that's a good size good. Yeah that's fantastic. Wow gratitude now dot com slash challenge. We can get in on the challenges there and we can go to the FACEBOOK GROUP MINDSET. I and find the facebook group there. That's really great that you're offering. Can you tell us a story of somebody that you've met on that facebook group where maybe gratitude has changed their life? Yes actually I recently just put out a a a not a quiz. I actually do have a quiz. A people can take and it just a nice little Helps give them reminders of like you know so ask short quiz. And then you kind of graded on how much gratitude that you have in your life and it's it's bring gratitude dot com slash quiz But what I did is I. That quiz is just something to kind of help people understand. Like how many times do you smile in a day? You know what is it that you're doing to remember to send appreciation the other people So little things like that. Now how often do you appreciate the simple things around you and so You know it I think. Come back to your question. The people in the group You know I can think of one. Her name's Martha and she joins us. One of the first join. And it's you know it's I think. From the interactions that we have She's been in the group for and a year and a half now. Can't believe the group's been around for that long But she you know again and again just you know talking about how you know. Her lows aren't as low as they used to be because she takes time to pause and feel grateful for you know what she has and The people in her life and you know like we right now. We're in the cove in nineteen and she's in lockdown You know and I think she struggled with a lot of health issues and through all that like She's able to deal with these health issues so much easier now because she doesn't worry about every little thing because in the end like we can do what we can do with what we have and then we have to appreciate the rest. Because that's that's what we got in our lives. Yeah Yeah that's a great story you know. It's it's really fulfilling to know that you've helped somebody like that. Isn't it like it's a great feeling? I got along email just a few hours ago from somebody that Reads my posts and listened to my show and so on and she's in Spain. She you know her. English isn't one hundred percent but it was such a pleasure to read that letter and learn you know how much he benefits from the the show. So it's really great to have you on here. Carl talking about mindfulness and talking about gratitude. I know on instagram. Your bring gratitude. That's how we find you on instagram. Bring gratitude. What's your favorite Social Media Platform Carl? Oh we're ahead. That group really good question. I I kind of have my ups and downs. Let's say facebook is probably where I I'm the most Answering people's questions Posting questions For people A DABBLE IN INSTAGRAM. I am not very good at it. I've tried tick Tock and That's that's been really interesting Youtube were keep a semi videos. I think the video that you talked about watching a I did a little Keno era at a conference or around gratitude I would say you probably. I think I get the most benefit as well as Give some of my best content there besides in my writing when I that I put on my blog. Would you consider a blog social media? Well Yeah and so we can find your blog. I imagine at your website. Is that right at bring? Gratitude DOT COM. Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah. That's great that's great. You're putting out so much content and doing that while you're doing another job a daytime job as well so yeah. It's very commendable. Yeah I mean coming back to passion and feeling grateful for this time like you know. It's we have these this opportunity. We are in a time where it's a one in a million one in a million. I don't know what it is. I think it's one in ten trillion You know like we are. We are in this time and space. You know like you were more likely to surface in the ocean coming up coming up through hula-hoop than to be who we are by that. Is You know how big the earth is right. Yes and so if we can realize this and make infuse that feeling into our bones than we can truly say. Why can't I be grateful? Even in tough situations that were in because if the alternative is complaining than I'll take gratitude or at least trying to practice gratitude every single time. Yeah well Karl. You're the father of two children a ten year old and a five year old. What have you learned from them about? Mindfulness and gratitude patients understand. Do you have kids? Yeah I have one gal. He's a bit older he's eighteen or GATT and you probably have to have a lot of patients at eighteen spreading his wings right right as so. I think it's not so much. Just it's being aware of these these choices because if if I can pause before I respond to them Nothing wrong with showing anger to a kid. But there's a level of anger My I grew up my dad. Ross tough German. He was born right after World War. Two and nineteen forty seven Started working at the age of twelve and Australia. Move to America. Seventeen got drafted into the navy. became an electrician. Started his own business up. I think he was like twenty. Three twenty four Maybe a little older twenty five and he did not have a lot of patients he did not have a lot of gratitude for me and a as we got older. We definitely you know It was easier. A relationship became much stronger But those first twelve to fourteen years were really tough. Tough for me. I was afraid of my father You know I think you know he had to kind of That tough bully mentality my way or the highway and I didn't WanNa do that for my kids. I didn't WanNa be like that. And so part of the book that I that the stories in that book describe that and describe you know how I wanted to be and being conscious of those choices and being more patient and That's that's been you know one of the best things about Writing that book and taking on these challenges of being more patient is I have a better relationship with my kids and and then in the end like you know at the end of my life That's GonNa be my top priority. Was House my relationship with my loved ones And it was. It was good and honest I did my job as a human. Wow that's so true. It's so true. I always ask a questionable bullying. Do you have a story about bullying? We're gratitude or mindfulness would have made a difference. Two of them. one My Dad I forget what instance was but all I remember is him getting so upset with me and him lifting me by my ears onto my tippy toes and I'll never forget that and it was traumatic. I felt very Small and weak in this is the time when Fourteen when you're wanting to be big and strong and completely dominated by my dad in that moment and But now as I look back I learned from that and Would never do that to my kids We have conversations we talk. It's okay if they disagree with May It's not okay if they You know do whatever they want to do. But it's okay if they voice their displeasure And another one. Is I remember in high school going to sit on the school bus and wanting to be a cool kid but far from it. Very kind of middle of the pack. Kind of Dorky You know not really You know on any end of the spectrum just kind of feeling nonexistent and I got onto the bus and my friend was there. I sat down and he was picking on the kid in front of us why I started chime in and trying to be cool and he turned around after I think I said maybe one or two things he had had enough as I think he'd been picked on certain past ten fifteen minutes he turned around and started punching me in the face and to my surprise like I did not know what was happening ten minutes before I got on the bus But he flipped out and You know I. I look at These that that Tyumen in and Howard behaved poorly And in how I teach my kids to be kind to share ideas and enter help other people versus Push them down. Yeah but Those kind of memories can really leave a powerful imprint. That's for sure Carl as we move forward in the interview. I want to ask you five. Quick answer questions so just thirty. Second answers are perfect. The first one is this. Who is one person who has influenced mindfulness or gratitude? In Your Life I've got so many. So many authors opera is out there I would Ring Ring. Popo offers up there Eker Tola Dale Carnegie. From how to win friends and influence people But right now the top of my head I would say my friend Rob He's actually in the book He has his positive attitude that he brings to every single situation Whether it's you know the difficult one or a great one He he could just lift up. All boats with his with his positivity and I took a lot from that we had two years together working together and it was some of the most influential two years of my life. I was mindfulness and gratitude. Affected your emotions Carl. I still get sad. I still get down. I still my inner bully Does rear its ugly head. Co-manager bar a bully arnold to trying to put a name on it so it's not so mean But it's helped me pause and appreciate these things these moments Even my inner bully because if you can appreciate your inner bully that's when you can start loving yourself. I totally agree. How is breathing? Part of your practice your daily practice. I Emma Daily Yoga and Meditation Practitioner So it's huge Make connects me grounds. Me To myself. you know a lot of times. I'll I'll check myself just to see where my breath is at where my heart is at and if I need to do some deep breathing help relax myself so. Your book is really truly excellent. Like I mentioned before it's an easy read but it's so powerful it's called bring gratitude and the subtitle is feel joyful again with bite-sized mindset practices. So thank you for writing that book. Are there any other books? Carl that you would recommend on this topic really suggest I did create a journal It's on Amazon but they did. Anybody can write their own. It doesn't need to be published But to start writing down their thoughts they can create an awareness journal. I have an article I could send you The is the more we can start their appreciate. Our thoughts and emotions The more we can stop being pushed around by them And begin to understand Where we come from. And why our internal stories are guiding us and how we can kind of take back to control and be the pilot of your own thoughts and emotions. And what's the best way we can reach out to you to get that article? I can send it to you but I believe if they go to bring gratitude dot com and just type in awareness journal. It should pop up. Okay great but I'll send it to you if you want to put it in your show nuts. Oh Yeah I'd be happy to put it in the show notes. Can you share an APP? Which can help with gratitude or can help with mindfulness ahead spaces one. I don't use a particular APP. Would I use just like evernote or Google Docs or have been notes on the phone And I just right in Mike gratitude. Or they're actually You know do my whole evening routine when I use a google docs to kind of track. All those things that are working on and like you know kind of the things I need to let go of the things. I appreciate an things that I did well that day. And that's all you're strapped in in my and I just an open spreadsheet I want mindful tribe to know your full name Karl Stab- and it's S. T. A. I. B. and Karl with a K. K. A. R. L. S. T. A. B. and that. So you can go to Youtube and find Carl and you can go to linked in and find Carl under his name and twitter. It's K- stab- as well. That's where we find you on twitter but of course your website like I already mentioned is bring gratitude dot com. Do you have any last words of gratitude before we say goodbye. Carl I think the the main thing for me is just picking something small to add to your toolbox. Look at what you currently doing like brushing your teeth making coffee in the morning. If you know you're going to go to the coffee maker if you can add the habit of thank you caution. Thank you water. Thank you you know for electricity for being able to make this Cup of Coffee. It makes the coffee tastes better and it starts creating those. Nuoro connections to bring more gratitude and more joy to your lights. Those are powerful final words. Thank you for being on mindfulness mode. Karl thank you. I had a great time fantastic. I did too by now. Thanks for joining us today. On mindfulness mode. Check out our show notes at mindfulness mode dot com. And you could find the guest. You're looking for right there by typing their name into the search bar. I also encourage you to subscribe download and share our show. And we'd love to if you wrote a review on Apple podcasts. You can also download a bonus. I've put together an e book and this book is outlining. The twelve must read. Mindfulness books mentioned on the show for the Free Download Goto. Mindfulness mode dot com slash. Top twelve books till next time. Mindful tribe us what we learned today to reach new heights of calm focus and happiness stay in the mode.

Carl facebook Karl Stab Youtube Bruce Langford Howard Gross twitter Zig Ziglar writer ICU Spain Pro Journal Australia Rove Dale Carnegie
The Gratitude Tree Meditation

Mindfulness Mode

18:44 min | 1 year ago

The Gratitude Tree Meditation

"Welcome to mindfulness mode. I'm Bruce Langford so good to have you with us today and today. I have a meditation for you and I did this meditation specifically for children. But you might enjoy it just as much even if you're not a child. I did it for a facebook. Group called keep calm and meditate with your kids and it's alive facebook. That goes up at three. Pm Pacific six PM Eastern. And it's by Tamino Watson and Janina Patel. They put it up for their children and then they asked me to do a meditation which I was happy to do and now I'm offering it to you and it's called the gratitude tree and the idea of a gratitude tree is not new but I kind of took this idea and put my own take on it so you know the thing about gratitude is if we're truly focused on what we're grateful for. Then we cannot be thinking about stresses and anxieties it kind of clears that part of our mind out so it's very important to have a gratitude journal. Maybe you already do. But having a gratitude journal can help you with your anxiety and it can help you move forward in times of stress and times of crises. Like we're experiencing right now so I encourage you to just sit back. Relax and enjoy. Today's special meditation called the gratitude tree. So just get comfortable wherever you are and get ready. Because we're going to do this. Little meditations make yourself as comfortable as you can and and begin to notice your breath and take a deep breath take a deep breath thin and let it slowly out just so that you're comfortable just so that you're taking in enough air that you're you're feeling relaxed and comfortable and let's breathing again. Just let it out comfortably and you might hear a few birds because I have some bird sounds on here and I'm going to make those birds. Sounds a little bit louder so that you might be able to hear them a little bit more and There's also the sound of some water because we're going to take a little walk and just think of someone that you love someone that you really trust and someone that you care about a lot and maybe it's a parent. Maybe it's a teacher. Maybe it's a good friend and your friend says let's go for a walk along a trail and so you go with your friend and you walk down the trail and you realize that there's a river nearby because you can begin to hear the sounds of the water and you can hear the sounds of birds and it's so much fun there. The trees and the grass and beautiful flowers and the water is flowing in the waters lake protection. The waters calm. Just the movement of the water makes you feel safe. It makes you feel like there's a sense of peace around you and you breathe in again and as you breathe in you. Breathe in this feeling of protection. This feeling surrounds your whole body. The water is like a good friend and the sounds of the birds. They make you feel so happy and you feel safe. The sounds that you hear make you feel so much joy and you notice that you're feeling a sense of warmth just feeling so safe and you're coming close to the edge of the river and you see all the different trees and flowers and you've never seen such a beautiful place a beautiful place where you can relax. And there's a big tree there with branches reaching out and you look up at the branches and as you do you take in another deep relaxing breath and you let it out and you see so many large green leaves on the branches and you decide to take a closer look. It looks like so many other trees. It's so beautiful but then you see something different. You notice that the leaves each have something written on them. There are words on these leaves me. Think that's different but it feels so calm and it feels so peaceful there and you see a space at the bottom of the tree like an opening in the trunk a cozy little place and it's a cozy little place where you can crawl inside and feel safe and comfortable. You can tell. There are lots of birds in the tree. You can hear them singing and it sounds like they're singing words. Almost gratitude tree gratitude tree in their high chirpy voices. It sounds like gratitude gratitude tree and you take another deep breath. You think to yourself. Oh I am relaxing right inside the gratitude tree and then you see a notebook in that little space here in but the notebook has big leaves on it instead of paper and you realize this is a magic notebook and you can save things and they appear magically on the leaves you say you say mom and the word. Mom appears on the page on the leaf on the big green leaf page. And you think of something else you look down at your feet and you say shoes and the word shoes appears on a leaf and a magically goes up into the tree and the birds keep singing gratitude gratitude gratitude tree and you realize this is a time to say all different things that you're grateful for and every time you say something it will appear on a leaf and that lethal will magically appear on the tree. You decide you have a lot of things to be grateful for. You have so much in your life to be grateful for and usually don't even think about those things you just know. They're a lot of things that you can be grateful for. And so you. Kinda snuggled down and you get a little more comfortable and you start to say more of the things that make you happy. You start to say more of the things that you're grateful for your parents maybe your pets. Maybe your games or your toys. Maybe even a blanket that it's S- cozy and comfortable or maybe you have a big pair of fuzzy slippers and every time you say something. It appears on a leaf and that leaf magically appears in the tree and you take another deep breath and you just feel so relaxed and you feel so comfortable and you think of other things. You're grateful for maybe you're grateful for your home or for your room the place where you sleep or other people in your life. You're grateful for some of your friends in those different things that you're grateful for keep on appearing on the tree and you think how great it is to be in that space right underneath a magical tree with all of your words appearing on the leaves and you find yourself being filled with a warm glow of happiness more and more love than you've ever felt before you are so grateful for your life and then a thought comes to you and you think to yourself what would it be like if someone else put my name on their gratitude tree and you realize that there are people who are grateful for you just as you are grateful for others and one of the things you can be grateful for your life this is your life and you can feel cozy just knowing that you can decide what to think of. You can decide to think of things that are good things that make you happy. Like the leaves on the gratitude tree. You can always decide what to think of. And when you decide to think of good thoughts then bad thoughts go away. There's no room for them. So if a bad thought starts to squeeze in and wants to come and find its way into your thoughts then you can be so happy because you can know that you can just start to think of your gratitude tree you can start to think of all those leaves up there and you can decide to add some more every day you can add more thoughts to your gratitude tree and as you sit beneath that tree you see that. The light starts to glimmer through the branches through the leaves. The sunshine is finding its way through an array of sunshine. Comes right down into that space right onto your heart and the ray of sunshine makes you feel even better you feel so relaxed and so happy and so calm and you realize that that ray of sunshine is just for you. It's like happiness joy right inside you and that sunshine is saying to you that you are special that you are a special person your special being and you notice how warm and comfortable you feel sitting beneath your own gratitude tree that special light glimmering through the tree and right down on you and then you hear the birds and suddenly another thought comes into your your mind and you think I can shine that light right back into the world that light. That's shining down on me. It's a light that I can shine on others just by being kind just by being helpful by being thoughtful and once you do you will notice more and more glimmers of Sunshine Shining Down on you the more you shine them back on others and you smile as you listen to the birds and you keep imagining that. There's singing gratitude tree gratitude tree Gratitude tree seem so silly and yet it seems so cool because it's your gratitude tree it's your space and no one can ever take that away from you anytime you want to. You can think of your gratitude tree anytime you want to new can think of words of things you're grateful for those words will magically appear on those leaves and they'll magically beyond your gratitude tree so that you can keep adding leaves all the time and you're so grateful that the sunshine is shining down on you onto your heart because you know you can bounce those rays of sunshine right back on your parents brother or sister on a friend you can send those rays of sunshine back even to strangers people. You don't even know and it just feels so wonderful knowing that you have this power to bring light into the world and this power to think about the thoughts that make you feel good and once again you take a deep breath and you decide that it's time to come back and you can rejoin your gratitude tree another time but you can decide to always find happiness and joy there and to always remember that. You're a special being your special person and so slowly began to wiggle your fingers and your toes notice your eyes and you can begin to open your eyes stretch a bit and just relax and remember to shine as bright as you can always and always remember you gratitude tree so thanks so much for joining us today and it's been my pleasure to be here. Thank you thank you. Thanks for joining us here on mindfulness mode and I encourage you to subscribe to the show in share. Tell your friends about share it on social media. We'd love to have more listeners. Thank you so much next. Time mindful tribe.

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372 Quantum Physics Can Improve Your Life Says Author Mel Schwartz

Mindfulness Mode

33:27 min | 2 years ago

372 Quantum Physics Can Improve Your Life Says Author Mel Schwartz

"Mindfulness mode three hundred seventy two there is meaning there is purpose. I matter and I count. Hey mindful tribe. I'm in such a great mood today. And I'm so excited to have you with us here on mindfulness mode. I'm Bruce Langford host and creator of the show. Great to have you with us. And if your new welcome if you're returning guests, thanks for subscribing. And I always appreciate everyone who subscribes because it helps the show so much and also sharing the show out. There makes a big difference as well. So thanks for that hundreds of guests of recommended books, the mindfulness mode podcast, and I've pulled together that twelve most recommended books into a short fourteen page e book that's free for you. It's called twelve must read mindfulness books. Any one of these books can definitely change your life. Just like they have for my featured guests download this great free resource at mindfulness mode dot com slash top twelve books. And now get ready for. A terrific interview. I loved his book, and it really made a big impact on me sit back and relax and just enjoy today's show. Hey mindful tribe. I'm here with Mel Schwartz. And Mel is the author of a book that I loved from the first page from the first paragraph. The book is called the possibility principle, the subtitle is how quantum physics can improve the way you think live and love. So Mel are you in mindfulness mode today? I was certainly hope so gross. You know, mindfulness or any word, I think always requires shared. Meaning I've learned that a word or expression means one thing to use something different to me in a different difference to a third person. So I'm I'm sure that mindfulness conjures somewhat different images for each of us. Yeah. Mindfulness does conjure different images. I think for almost everybody. I just want to take a second share with mindful tribe a little bit about you. Mel Mel Schwartz is a psychotherapist marriage counselor and corporate leadership consultant is the author of the art of intimacy the pleasure of passion. And like, I said his newest book the possibility principle how quantum physics can improve the way you think live and love is a book. I appreciate a lot malpractices in Westport, Connecticut and. Manhattan and works with individuals across the world. Mel is a member of the society for consciousness studies and has been a keynote speaker at Yale University. His Ted ex talk, overcoming anxiety is receiving over fifteen hundred views every day. So Mel what does mindfulness mean to you for me, mindfulness as as I describe a great length in in my book requires my ability to see my thought, if I can see my thought, I don't need to become my thought in my work as a psychotherapist marriage, counselor communications consultant, I find it often people aren't aware of their thought and worse still they accept their thought as being the truth of what their thought is telling them and then over a lifetime, we've become imprisoned. We have certain core beliefs. Ourselves. And that of those beliefs come millions of thoughts out of those beliefs. Come millions of thoughts thoughts when not aware that we're having those thoughts, and we become those thoughts. So that's the imprisonment. So the work I've developed to teach people to see the thought it's like a learned muscle memory when we can see the thought we're actually thinking, I derive a difference between having thoughts noticing them having clots and thinking when I'm thinking there's a me that is superior to all of the millions of thoughts of how over lifetime. So mindfulness for me. Bruce is the ability to think in the Nanno sick in between our thoughts. I believe we exist in the state of pure possibility pure potential, so why is it hard to change? Why the people find it hard to change because we keep something the same old thoughts thinking intervene. Nhs new thinking allows us to capture new thoughts. Well, what does that have to do with quantum physics? Tell my audience. Okay. So Christly, I am not a scientist. I was an average student as best science many years ago. I'm going through a personal crisis of my own which I can share. I had recently, divorced. My two young children ultimately came to live with me full time. But on a given week they were with their mom and went out for a bike ride. And what I thought was going to be a beautiful morning and I had an anxiety attack. It was my fear of the future and not knowing whether it would bring a turn the bike around and headed back home. And absent mindedly pulled the book off the shelf. It was called the turning point by quantum physicists named Frithjof Capra. I know this that within reading a few pages, I felt calm my anxiety had retreated. And in fact, I felt inspired in connected to everything myself and everyone the universe. Nothing changed that side of me. So I read of this new paradigm, this Nuro view, putting it simply the principles of quantum physics are one uncertainty as a culture we are trained to resist in a void uncertainty. When we do that, it creates anxiety and fear because we can't know the future. But we feel we need to know it this leads to what I call an epidemic. Vang's icty. I recently gave a Ted talk called overcoming anxiety. It comes from shifting up our position on this. If we embrace uncertainty, which is the rule of reality. Then we get to ride the waves of change. Secondly, uncertainty equals possibility if things are insert. Why does that need to be a negative? We look at the word uncertain is Pajaro. Well, things are uncertain. Well, sometimes that's a good thing. A lot of times. Well, yes, I need to welcome in uncertainty which opens possibility so that's uncertainty thought it's uncertainty in a relationship. Oscar Wilde said uncertainty is the essence of romance. And if you think about it, we can see the truth. So whether we do we take a romantic relationship, and we make it critical and romance phase. Now, we need to know what time to train leaves in the morning winter pick up the kids from school, of course. But we become choked by our need for certainty. So I looked at the pro want them principle of uncertainty thought I'm going to bring that into my life. That's what brought me to this place today. I had been in the very unsatisfying business in midlife and chose to embrace the uncertainty of a new career so uncertainty want him principal, potentially -ality everything exists in this state of pure absolute potential, including our thoughts. Lastly, the other principle of quantum physics is inseparability we've been trained to think an operating from seventeenth century thinking coming from sir Isaac Newton and related. The car was called a machine like universe in that reality. We're taught that if we had enough data and information we could predict the future. This was known as determined as well, we took it to an extreme and many of us live our lives as though we're playing chess match sitting back calculating strategize and being frayed of making the state and not in flow of life. Quantum physics is revealed. That is certain conditions reality is thoroughly inseparable. It's one undivided whole trips. Like eastern mystics religions of always suggested. So he was this hard science quantum physics, affirming. Inseparability? So I thought what if I bring that into my life inseparability in mmediately presents, presents empathy and compassion. Because if you and I are part of the same hole, I want to care for you and understand and connect with you, it brings back connective. So I believe that the epidemic of anxiety and depression, and now lays that western culture and other cultures experienced are due to believing from the wrong game plan the themes of separation, the which leads to intense individuals in the competition increased this harmony in our relationships with others and with ourselves. So those are the principles uncertainty potentialities will I call possibility and inseparability, and we're we adapt them in integrates them into our thinking are communicating. Our relationships we shift from this stuck state of being into a process of becoming because reality looks like this unfolding propential- reality making process only we left ourselves out of that because of living by this game plan of determine. Mel I want to go back to that day. When you pulled the turning point off the shelf. I wanna go back to your mind, and what what was happening inside your mind that day when you were having that anxiety attack. How did it feel well having the exiled attack at that moment was around my fear of uncertainty? What we're my future looked like I was now for the moment alone. Not with my children, not part of an intact family. I felt a visceral fear. So an absent mindedly, and I suppose it was absent minded, but there was a conscious awareness to pick that book. As I started to read it. It was almost is experiencing an alka me. There was a fundamental transformative shift. I was noticing where there was a sense of wonder beyond curiosity. It was a feeling of all which is science was telling us that reality was nothing like what I imagined it to be in a wonderful way. And so that insight that defining moment for me allowed me to discard my temporary fear about the triviality of mine, not knowing my future, and they began to your is I could participate in the creating of that future. Instead of wondering from a distance. What it would look like it was as though I was hand to the pen in the sheet of paper, and I was going to get the right? The script of my life, so cool, and how long did it take you till? You felt like you were in that new place forever. And in instant. Interesting answer. Okay. I trained my mind not to create compartments and thinking in either alway I felt that way in an instant. And it's twenty five years later, and I am still working with progress in with it. So I felt the relief and the excitement instantly you see. Defining moments. Bruce, we all experience insights in insights at temporary. Aha the problem is we don't commit to the insight, and we let it go. I've always felt that when I have a powerful insight. I literally call time out to my life. And I think my life is different now. And that's what I call a defining moment with is a willful intention. So what I did. With those insights is I thought well, I need to realign my belief system in my thinking to coalesce with what I'm learning about quantum physics. Which I did. And it allowed me great progress in my life. Then the next step was as a psychotherapist I needed to create a therapy approach and methodology which was consistent with these quantum principles. I was no longer interested in diagnosis or objectivity because in fact, from my new worldview, they don't exist. You see if there is inseparability and everything's connected to everything else. Then I'm not apart. So how could I possibly be objective? There is no object grew. I think one of the reasons I loved your book so much because you're not a quantum physicist. I think like it. That's why it seemed to make it so easy to understand. Like, hey, this is not a complex concept. This is not a big deal. The book isn't a huge, you know, four inch thick book. It's a very simple way that you've communicate. Waited your message off the have you always been a person that was able to communicate with others in such a clear way. I'm not certain when I think back to my younger self if I were able to do that. I'm not aware of it. So my my instinct is I probably always had the propensity to but hadn't developed the skill. So the inclination was there. But you know, until I was forty years old. I was more or less pretty regular guy. I was in business. I'll tell tell the viewers I worked in the apparel industry in New York City field. You couldn't think of as more afar from what I do now. So this literally was a large chapter two diversion in my life, a transformative process, and of course, making these steps along the way I had to embrace uncertainty. If I hadn't I would have succumbed to fear and never gotten to where I am, of course, as I was writing this book, I have a relative who is a rather announced scientists, but he's a classical sciences not into quantum physics. And he would butt heads with me when you talking about. And I say, I'm CRA fessing to be a scientist. I'm just looking at what the scientists saying. And then saying, wow, how can we ignore that? We've been reading. From the wrong book living life from the wrong game plan. So again, the malaise that we see in our lives in our culture the heartbreaking conflict in relationships, the depression, again, Yang's -iety and the core I think that fundamentally Kerr's because we're living as though we are those isolated cobs in Newton's machine like universe with. No. Meaning and purpose for the magin in this new world view were everything participates with everything. So my thought Mike questions might connection with you stir. The pot of reality there is meaning there is purpose. I matter and I count I want to go back to a day in the life of Mel when he was eight years old did anything happen. Is there something that pops into your mind about a day when possibly your infatuation with quantum physics was foreshadowed? Now that is a question that no one has ever asked me, Bruce. I love being asked new questions because I don't have an immediate response, which brings up authenticity. You know, I always had a different way. I remember being thirteen years old having dinner at the Chinese restaurant was my parents, which was what we as a Jewish family would do on Sunday and John Kennedy had just been the SAS innate in and I didn't follow politics or watch the news. But there was this intuition where I was questioning the stories we're being told about Oswald. I think that there was nothing about I instinctively I always questioned what reality is. And what it might look like I believed in what we might call trans personal realities. I was open tune themes in reincarnation cognitive abilities. Like ESP synchronous, the has been a fascination for me, I experienced I studied I teach how to access synchronised which are non-rational extraordinary experiences that we can't account for by sheer coincidence. But I will say this. I wrote an article called. Why can't I or why I can't? And it occurred to me that people seem to oriented toward one of the other. I was always raised. My parents raised me with this belief of why can't you in other words, if you have a thought or a feeling why can't you do it? Sure. Other people have this core. Belief of why can't they give themselves. The reasons why. So the quantum aspect of. Why can't I is that all things are possible? I wrote in the book groups in the nanosecond between our thoughts, we exist misstated pure possibility with if we keep having the same thoughts, we never some in possibility. So therefore I needed to find a way to stretch my relative experience of time. So that I could see that next thought I could be in that nanosecond between the thoughts and accurate introduced new thinking. And for me that is where breakthroughs occur. Well, I think that you've helped a lot of people with breakthroughs from this book. Mel I always ask a questionable bullying because I've worked in that field for a long time. And it does relate very closely to mindfulness. Do you have a story abo- bullying? Maybe when you're a kid, maybe as an adult in business or an author. Do you have a story you can share with us where mindfulness would have made a difference? Well, I always advocate in this has come up in a number of circumstances around bullying in my work is therapist. Taken individual in a marriage where one one person felt bullied by the other. And in this case atypically, perhaps it was the man so fully now why was he allowing and tolerating the bullying because his self worth self esteem was questionable. So when other than someone physically bullying you in them being twice your size in the moment. Not knowing what to do about bullying is often emotional and verbal and win. The it is such the question is if I am tolerating it why it reflects back to my core issue with myself. Do I value myself? What do I deserve what stories narrow this am? I telling myself about the bullying, and why am I George story might be if it happened to a child? Well, if I told. Mom and dad, they'll be angry because I didn't stand up for myself or the story might be the word will get out. Then I'll feel embarrassed Ruth shame. We make up stories. We have to penetrate the stories we tell ourselves and come to the authentic truth. Which is what's my fear note? We are taught to act strong. And to avoid vulnerability that is a misunderstood as is misinformed relief acting strong as acting is weak embracing. My vulnerability means that I'm sharing who I am. What my self doubts infused insecurities are in the means. I'm not worried about you. Judging me that is authentic self esteem. Culturally self esteem is misunderstood I call what we do other esteem. So you ask a parent what will give you a child? Good self esteem. Well, if they're popular in their great sports, and they get great grades that doesn't give yourself estate. So what we do is we betray our authentic sense of self to manipulate things. So that others would like us or approve of us. But when we do that to an extreme we don't develop a core sense of self that will lead to allowing Polian. Well, I think you're absolutely right on with that. And you know, there's so many people that don't understand what you just explained. So thank you for doing that. And if you if your listener just listening to us right now talking to Mel this book, the possibility principle is absolutely outstanding. It brings home this whole idea of how we can control the way we think we can notice it. We can live and love like he says in the subtitle. How quantum physics can improve the way you think live and love, and it's true that just from the very first page it gives you almost like a new way of thinking about your own life. So get out there and get that book. Mel I want to ask you some quick answer questions. Just five quick answer questions. Here's the first one who is one person who has been a powerful influence in your life in the. Area of mindfulness. David bohm. That's spelled B O H M. Deceased, David was a quantum physicist who. Ultimately, had leave the United States because of the McCarthy era, and and Bohm's position in defense of freedom of speech. So Bohm was a Nobel laureate physicist, but he broke out of the camper physics and did a lot of work on the nature of thought he wrote the book with Krishna Murthy the Indian sage about thought in mindfulness and my coming to learn and appreciate Bohm's work on thought what he called fragmented thought I'm allowed me to develop a platform from which I could then elaborate and add my work on top of his devolved my own style. So David Bohm comes to mind is a very singular person. Mel how was mindfulness affecting your emotions? I believe Bruce that mind or thought fought in in motion thought and feeling inextricably linked. My bias is that thought probably occurs. I although we may not see it be aware of it. So I have learned that when I am in a particular mood whether elevated or a deflated if I check in as to what was the last thought I had I can find the fought that set up the feeling now the thing is once you have the feeling that feeling then will summit up more similar thoughts. Which is why we tend to cycle up doubt. But there are different words, and labels that we put to describe human experience. So we think of thought being from the neck up I can't say resides there. And we think of feeling is being in the gut who knows, but what we call thought and feeling are different aspects of the same whole think about a coin the head and tail are in separate the different aspects of the coin fought and feel I see different aspects of human consciousness. Tell us. How breathing is part of your mindfulness practice. It is not sufficiently part of my mindful practices. It's something I need to work on. I I tend to reside in my spirit, and in my mind, and my work, Bruce is to develop more awareness in my body, and to be more conscious and mindful of my breathing so to the point of embracing vulnerability sharing your truth. That's worked I still need to do. Thanks for sharing that and your book, the possibility principle is awesome. But are there any other books you would recommend related to mindfulness? Well, my reading in my interest runs far afield from psychotherapy psychology or mindfulness. A what excites my learning is? When I go into different disciplines. And then I combine thoughts most different disciplines so philosophy. I don't read traditional philosophy. But Alfred north Whitehead great, British philosopher had a great influence on me. And now there's a floss Affi coming out of France over the last twenty years called transdisciplinary whereby it goes beyond into this narrative where we take different fields different areas of inquiry, and we coalesce them. So there's no separation between them, and that's what I do. So I would read Alfred north Whitehead the philosopher nineteenth century, I believe. I read quantum physics. I'd read David Bohm, and they say, wow. So this is so and this person said this now what happens if I put them together like an alchemy, and that's what excites me, I will share with you. What may be my next book in it came to me in the dream? I love to hear this. I woke up the other evening, and with two words on my mind quantum dialogue, and I was two in the morning on the weekday night. I was so excited. I went downstairs started to take notes. And my thought was what happens if I take the art of dialogue, which misunderstood dialogue is not conversation. It's the spending of thought and belief in the shared inquiry to use a sixty s expression, very trippy experience. Molter state of mind. What happens if? I infuse these quantum principles into dialogue. I was so excited that I thought maybe this will be my next book. So I don't read traditional writing. I don't read in the fields. I practice are read far afield because that's what stimulates my thinking fascinating. Just fascinating. Can you share an app which helps you in any way was mindfulness? Certainly this answer may surprise you. But spotify. When I can will. I need a break from thinking. Not from thought from thinking when I need a break from the things that impact me and don't allow my center out turn on Spotify. And listen to music, which will still me and quiet me. That's great. Well, you know, I wanted to ask you if you meditate is that part of your life. And if it is what does it look like. I recommend meditation to many of my clients, and I share with them that I do not meditate. I believe that the method. I have developed for myself is akin to meditation in that I see my thought, and I don't become my thought, but I don't need to go off for ten or twenty minutes and treat it as a practice. It's more of a working practice a living practice, so it can occur. While I am doing other things is not as centered and focused as meditation that said, I see the wonderful benefits to meditation anecdotally from so many people, and I often recommend to my clients that they pursue TM. Simply based upon the accolades, I've heard from people who practice TM, right? So it sounds like you might do your form of meditation while you're driving or waiting in line at the Bank or anything like that. Am I right? I yeah. I think that perhaps the significant amount of time. I am in my meditate. I experienced my meditative state. Which is the awareness of my thought and the awareness of my feelings, which then allow me to not be reactive but responsive in security to artful communication to respond rather than react. Mel I feel honored to have the chance to talk with you. I totally enjoyed today and listeners you can get the book the possibility principal on Amazon, and if you want to connect more with Mel and learn more about what he's doing what he's up to. Where is the best way for us to head mill? It would be to go to my website as M E L S C H W, AARP dot com. I have a blog with over one hundred articles you can see my Ted ex videos, overcoming anxiety, and you can reach out and contact me. But there is a wealth of data on that website. While the sure is and the. Headaches talks are fantastic as well enjoyed them. And you know, I've been in -ticipant in this day for quite a while because we had it scheduled earlier in that didn't happen. But it did happen today. I'm so honored and thrilled. So thanks very much for being on mindfulness mode. Mill thank you so much for having me, Bruce in your my compliments to your wonderful interviewer. Thanks so much all the best to you. And by now by us. Thanks so much for joining us today on mindfulness mode for show notes for every episode checkout mindfulness mode dot com and type the guest's name or the episode number into the search bar. You can also go mindfulness mode dot com slash whatever episode number. You like if you've enjoyed this podcast, you could help us out by subscribing to mindfulness mode. Wherever you listen, whether it's on I tunes or Stitcher Google play Spotify, so many places you can hear mindfulness mode, so hit subscribe and share because that truly helps our show and remember what I mentioned at the top of the show about the twelve must read mindfulness books. Any one of these books can definitely change your life. Just like they have for the featured guests I've had on my show all of these books have been recommended. They're the twin. Twelve most recommended books on mindfulness mode. Download this free gift at mindfulness mode dot com slash top twelve books. So remember subscribing and sharing helps keep mindfulness mode on the air till next time mindful tribe us what we've learned today to reach new heights of calm, focus and happiness, stay in the mode.

Mel Mel Schwartz Bruce Langford anxiety David bohm physicist Spotify scientist consultant Ted principal Westport Connecticut Yale University Manhattan Oscar Wilde Isaac Newton New York City Alfred north Whitehead Frithjof Capra Headaches
Bruce Langford Interviewed by Chris Patterson

Mindfulness Mode

23:51 min | 11 months ago

Bruce Langford Interviewed by Chris Patterson

"Mindfulness mode as leaders as entrepreneurs think were absolutely shooting ourselves in the foot. If we don't have somebody that we can trust, that can take our life by the Horn so to speak direct us. Hey mindful tribes so great to be here today again and so glad that you're here today. We're doing something different. I'm flipping my chair today, so I'm not going to be the interviewer I'm going to be the interviewee and I'm really excited to have my friend Chris Paterson here today, Hey, Chris. How are you today? I'm good, Bruce, though good to see you my friend. Yeah, it's great to have you here now. Mindful tribes, so you know. Chris Patterson is an amazing guy. He was on my podcast not too long ago. Four seventy six. You might remember that we talked about living. Living Large because he has this thing called live large academy, but he's the CEO of interchanges. It's a company called the interchanges and man. What a successful company that is generated one point four billion dollars for their clients, and yes, you heard me right billion, not million and so he's a very successful CEO. He's he's interviewed. People like Ed my. Latte grant Cardona and and multiple UFC fighters. He's an amazing guy. He's a gentle giant. He loves dogs and I'm just thrilled to hand the mic over to Chris Today, so he can interview me so Chris. This is a real switch. Here. We are in I officially as of right now and taking your podcast over Bruce I'll go. I'll I'll tell you guys how this all came about by the way, a Bruce and I. We're friends. We talk often. We share knowledge. He helps me I. Help Him. And? Wasn't too long ago. I said Bruce said you need to do a podcast on your own podcast. You've got so much that people don't know about you. And he agreed in here. We are so let me go. Let me tell you guys a little bit about Bruce Lang for that. You may or may not know, but Bruce Langford is a mindfulness speaker. These a writer life coach a consultant. He's the founder of the mindfulness mindfulness mode podcast. What you guys are all very familiar. Tell me through, so I think. We've check last time. I checked up on your one point six million downloads of your of your podcast where we at well, it's taken a lot of work, but we are actually over two million downloads. It's two point one and pushing toward two point two million downloads now two point two million dollars. You're doing something really. That's that's amazing. Bruce's has extensive experience bullying prevention, enabling him to help other people who have been bullied or who are experiencing self bullying. We're going to get into that. I want to ask you some questions about self bullying. That's very interesting. Bruce's delivered more than seventeen hundred live presentations and his writings have appeared in numerous publications around the world. So with that, said Bruce Welcome to your own podcast with me taking over your podcast. Chris it's great to be here. Thank you. Thank you for the warm, welcome and the Nice words. Of course Oh, let's start off like this I. I'm actually curious. Give us a little bit of background. You know who are you? You didn't just all of a sudden. Have this overnight unbelievably successful? PODCAST and consultancy and all of those things. Where did this start? Where did it come from well? I was a teacher, and I loved teaching, and I was a music teacher, so I've got that creative thing going on love doing the music teaching, but what I didn't love was when I saw kids that were being picked on and bullied and I thought man. This should not be happening, and it made me think of my son who, at that time was just a little kid? He was around four or five years old, and I thought man I don't want my son to get bullied. Bullied I want him to get picked on, so I got this idea of you know I'm going to switch and I'm going to start working in this field I'm going to help as many people as I can, and through that I'll be able to help my son be strong kind of guy that will know how to stand up to bullying how to deal with it. You know not just like be able to punch people out like as which is what sometimes people think is how you have to deal with it, and so I started doing presentations all over the place and I started. Doing so many talks and keynote addresses and stuff, and then I it just happened that you know. All of a sudden people started to identify me as the anti-bullying Guy I. was. You know sometimes, they said I was the bullying guy wasn't sure whether that was quite right. But, anyway, so that's what happened and I started doing all that and then I I just realized that I I really loved doing live presentations. I loved helping people and. You know I would go back to some of the same schools and people would come up to me, and they would say you know I remember when you were here before and I was being picked on, and I did some of the stuff you taught me and I was just experiencing so much pain in my life was so miserable, and and then after I started doing some of. Of these things you taught in the presentation, then you know my life has turned around so I really liked that, and then later I started working in mindfulness, and started coaching, and found I could do the same thing in coaching and help adults who are experiencing a lot of pain and suffering, and even though a Lotta Times, their life looked amazing inside. They were experiencing a lot of. Frustration, and I could kind of help them with that and move through to them to a better place. So Bruce Essentially. You could have work things a little bit backwards where you started essentially group. Coaching people. Because in your presentations, that was a group coaching session essentially. and. Then you went more one on one and started working with individuals, and that type of thing right? Yeah, that's right. How did how did the anti bullying? Knowledge and everything else help you with the coaching process. Wow, it was amazing. Because through doing the anti-bullying I realized that not only do people bully each other I mean in business in life everywhere, not just kids, but a lotta times we bully ourselves, you know we have this inner voice going on, and and it can be just brutal, and it can pull people down who are like? Like intelligent successful people who have everything going for them, but this voice in their head can cause so many issues, and can just stop them in their tracks, and they can end up having so much pain and frustration and feeling of overwhelm, and so because of what I learned doing the bullying prevention. It's Sorta gave me the the tools, so I could help people deal with that voice. So wonderful and I assume that you're now you're now. You're starting to work with companies and employees and individuals of one of the things I. was curious about is. How can companies continue to thrive I? Mean obviously we're in an unprecedented time right now. We're still in the midst of global pandemic disrupted. Everything and you know so. There's people that are scared out there. There are people that are really struggling right now. So how can companies continue to thrive? Even while employees are experiencing stress and disconnection well, the thing is everybody needs more confidence than ever. They just need to be lifted up. They need to know that somebody cares and that somebody's behind them and you know they need to be noticed for what they're doing. That's positive for their accomplishments, and of course that can happen through the leaders in that company where their project leaders or the CEO's like you I'm sure. Sure Chris you lift up people that work for you and you give them confidence and support, and you know they just need those leaders out there. They're everywhere. They just need to be reminded that what they're doing is right when they're lifting people up and building their confidence, and helping them to feel empowered and strong, and some leaders are afraid of that. Some leaders are afraid they'll be seen as a as a pushover. They'll be seen maybe not as strong if they're always helping and always encouraging when in fact, that is completely incorrect. Wouldn't you agree with that Chris? Yeah of course I mean I've I've seen some of those pictures where they show. You know leader yelling from the back you know, go go and everyone's stressed out freaked out. Many got a leader pulling from the front. And I think that's what we WANNA do is we want to pull our people with us in the lead? The rated the leader is determined by the speed of the pack is determined by the rate of the leader. So I agree with you so important for people to lead right now it's so important for people to get outside themselves and think about their own employees, so I just love what you're sharing. Tell us some of the things that you're seeing. What are some of the challenges that people are experiencing with? Covert nineteen and maybe even in your own family, because these are real problems, so tell me what kind of challenges and pain that people are experiencing right now. Well, the challenge of of not knowing what's coming and that's always a challenge for people. You know we don't know how long this lockdown is going to be. We don't know you know when we can get our haircut you know. Know there there are so many things that impact people you know, and you know a lot of it has to do with financial like a lot of people you know they've either lost their jobs, or maybe they're just unsure whether their job is going to continue. And you know there's just so much insecurity out there, and then you look on social media or you listen to the news and. And people are all over the place you know there are people arguing and some people believe one thing, and some people believe in other thing, and we're not always getting consistent messages from our our leaders, you know our politicians, and so on that can cause a lot of insecurity, so not only are employees experiencing insecurity, but our leaders in business are as well, and that's some of the you. You know that's actually what I do is I. Help People gain confidence to realize that they're on the right track, and so you know it's just a really tough time right now, but at the same time it is a time to thrive, because there are lot of opportunities opportunities for people who are strong leaders to kind of take the rain and move forward and help those that need help. You and I assume that you work with a lot of leaders and companies, CEOS and executives and people like that. Is that kind of target market for you? Yes, yes, it is! Great. What is your best advice for leaders right now in the business world? Well my best advice is that leaders just need to be there for their people and they need to do whatever they can to help. Their people feel connected to to feel like they're part of a tribe part of a group, and that they're being supportive, because I think more than ever in our society, a lot of people actually when you get talking to them they. They feel alone. They feel isolated, and I think that it's so important that we make sure that's not the case in whatever company you're in whatever team of people you're leading, you want to make sure that people feel connected and that they're able to share and that they're. They're feeling comfortable, being vulnerable at times, and they're not going to get knocked down, you know. So good, and you know it's. It's interesting to me. you know I've been in the business world for a long time, and I know a lot of leaders and CEOS I'm amazed though at how many do not have a coach. And it affects them. I can almost tell who's being coached, and WHO's not. Based on their performance and their behavior and how they think. So I just think what you do is such an incredibly valuable service to our society. You an idea of. Who is somebody? Maybe you've helped? Were you know? That really did quite well. Well let me think about that for minute. Yeah, coached quite a number of people now. This woman comes to mind. She was in her mid thirties very successful. If you if you talk to her at a at a networking in Vander. Something like that you, you just think man. She's just got the world by the tail. She's put together. She's now in her case she was. A leader of about thirty people at our office, she works for a company in Indiana, she they have around eight hundred employees, and so she's got about thirty people that work under her. She's a team leader and so we started. In a coaching relationship where she started telling me about some of our biggest challenges, she just felt like she wasn't connecting with her people. She felt. So much. And frustration and this feeling of overwhelm that she wasn't doing her job. Right like she said to me, she actually she said she says I just feel like an imposter in my own company like I I'm just not really doing my job, but yet when I get my reviews, you know I'm getting good solid reviews, but I just feel like I could be doing a lot better and and I. have this. This incredible pain connected with with what I do, and I don't understand what that pain is all about and. So we got working together and after eight months of coaching, she, you know we were in a coaching session and she said Bruce I. Look back at my notes from the first session and she said I couldn't believe some of the the way I was feeling because I've almost forgotten. And she said I just now I feel so happy and I have a sense of satisfaction for the work that I'm doing. And she had been telling me that it had just been her birthday, and her team had put together a surprise luncheon for her, and she felt so loved and appreciated, and she said looking back. This connection all happened because of the work we did together. She said you know I I didn't realize what I needed to do to move forward and that I wasn't truly connecting with people and one of the things. She said she says Bruce. You are such an incredible listener. and. I know people have said that to me before because sometimes I. Don't say as much just I'm listening and I'm like that on the podcast you know I ask you a question and then I listen, listen listen. That's what really helped her. One of things I love about you. Bruce as I consider you a gentle giant. You're very gentle in Megan Spirit, but you're a giant in the effectiveness and the results that you can produce for people for leaders just like that. Something you said in there, too I find quite curious. It's you know people are feeling like an impostor. They typically call that imposter syndrome. Is that right? Yeah, that's right. Yeah and Man What a struggle! I've gone through it. You know there's been many times who am I to be running this big. who had to meet with this certain person and you know we often a lot of comes from small towns with small minds and stakes with us, even as progress in life, so what are some? What are some ways or maybe some thoughts on helping people through that imposter syndrome? Because really it's a self esteem issue, isn't it? Yeah, it really is. It really is and I. The first thing that I teach people is where they're at right now. WHERE THEY WANNA go, and then I teach them how to listen so that they can hear what those voices are in their head. You know you need to be able to be aware of what those negative voices really are. Because some people kind of get the feeling that you know that's voices, they're, but they're not really. They don't have clarity about it, so I teach people how to notice it. And then how to do something about it, and so that's the most important first step is to notice it and become a just a better listener of your own thoughts. Yeah and I know you've got all kinds of different processes methodologies to make all this happen. It's fascinating what you do because I know as a leader of always had a coach in my life in one way, shape or form. One of the most important things is if I have a coach I know that I'm going to have a sounding board. I know that I'm going to have somebody that I can trust. It is lonely at the top. You know there's you can't share your issues or your concerns or your insecurities with your employees. You could, but you shouldn't know and then you're like well I. Don't WanNa. Share it with my wife and my kids because they look at me as Do what do I mean we as as leaders as entrepreneurs I, think were absolutely shooting ourselves in the foot. If we don't have somebody that we can trust, that can take our life by the Horn so to speak and direct US get us in. Get us in the right direction, so thank you for the work that you're doing, but got a couple more questions for you here Bruce. Go Inspires you. A strong leaders or coaches that you look up to and go man that is somebody that really inspires me. Well first of all Chris you inspire me, because I know you've coached a lot of people and you're the CEO. But you know I was hoping you'd say gone, but of course you're going to say. Well you know it's true. I've also been very impressed by Brendon. Burchard he is a powerful coach, and he created a thing called total product print, and I when all through his training, and learn so much about how to out of meet people where they are and bring them to where they want to be to bring them to that goal that they're hoping to achieve and I mean he is just such an amazing person, so so many people follow him on facebook and Oprah actually calls him as one of the world's most brilliant coaches. It's pretty incredible. Another person that has really impress me over the years is Brian Tracy and He'd. He's written a lot of books. I think he wrote over sixty or seventy books, and he actually wrote a book with me, I. AM In this book. It's the success principles cracking the success principles. To Amaze me Bruce. How did you do this well? Even know that you're in a book all. Well Brian Tracy's team reached out to me and they wanted me to be in this book and Yeah, and so I just I mean I was amazed when I met Brian and and spent time talking to them and talking to him about his take on bullying this kind of thing, so Brian Tracy is actually been a a huge influence in my life as well. Yeah there. There are quite a number of people, but those are those are two or three people Chris. I also find that quite interesting too because. Brian Tracy really comes at a an approach. That's very practical. Practical Best Practices ideas things that you can do to implement to make your life better. Your Business Better Ren Rashard comes from I think more of the emotional side. And helping you untangle some of the mind nuts that we get over time, so you've really got quite a. Two very good people because they balanced you out quite well, well Bruce. Tell me this. How how can people work with you? How can people get in touch with you I? Know that you're kind of you've been really focused on the podcast, but you're going to start opening up applications here soon to start doing some coaching. How do people do that? So yes Chris. That's right. I have been putting a lot of time into the PODCAST, but I've also been putting a lot of time into creating a free forty five minute training, and that is for you mindful tribe. This free training is something that features the five pillars of success five strategies, five aspects that I believe are most vital for you to move forward and many of these strategies I've. I've learned from experts and successful people that I've interviewed for the podcast over five hundred of them, so you can have this training for free go to stand up now blueprint dot com, and at the end of that training session you'll be given an opportunity to be on a thirty minute. Call with me, and if you WANNA just go right ahead and go to that thirty minute. Call I. Without doing the training, you can also do that to go to mindfulness mode dot com slash ass Assez in strategy session so once again for the training. Go to stand up now blueprint dot com, and for the thirty minute strategy session, Goto mindfulness mode, dot, com slash S S, and and you're doing the first session at no cost. Is that right? Yeah, yeah, that's right well if. If you guys are listening I hope you're paying close attention here because Bruce is a very valuable individual. If you can get three minutes with the guy, spend some time with him, but if he's offering a thirty minute free coaching, Call Guys I. Really would highly recommend that you take them up on at least at least watch the Webinar see if it's a fit for you so. Bruce Thank you so much for showing up to your show and allowing me to take it over and. Having an opportunity to learn from you, you've you've inspired me inspired literally millions hundreds of thousands of other people over the years. Thank you so much for what you do your very. Valuable person in so many people's lives. Chris thanks so much for being here. It'd being guest host I really appreciate this. It's fantastic. It's kind of different it is. The tables. He barely trusted me to do this and I. Don't blame him. He's got such a great podcasts, so thank you for your trust though I do appreciate it, Bruce and guys. I'm done. Go out there and live large. Get on that training. What is that one more time? Stand up now end up now, blueprint dot, com, they end up now, blueprint dot com. Thank you so much have a wonderful week. Bruce and we'll talk to you soon. Okay Youtube Chris by now. Mindful, tribe. I hope you enjoyed today's interview. If you did. Please tell your friends about the show. Every person who subscribes and listens helps our show so in the meantime take what you heard today and reach new heights of calm focus and happiness. Stay in the mode.

Bruce Chris CEO Bruce Lang Chris Paterson Chris Today Chris Patterson Horn Bruce Langford UFC Brian Tracy Ed Cardona Indiana Youtube WanNa founder team leader US
430 Aging In Reverse With Worlds Top Wellness Influencer, Natalie Jill

Mindfulness Mode

37:41 min | 2 years ago

430 Aging In Reverse With Worlds Top Wellness Influencer, Natalie Jill

"Mindfulness mode, four hundred thirty pass. It used to be so easy for me now my metabolism is slowed down. Now my hormones have changed with. They've never changed their diet. Welcome back to mindfulness mode, where you can reach new heights of calm, focus, and happiness. I'm Bruce Langford, your host and mindfulness life. Coach as always. Thanks for joining me here. I want to also thank all of you who have filled in my short survey about the upcoming membership group. I'm putting together. I totally appreciate that. If you haven't had a chance is that mindfulness mode dot com slash m m survey. Thanks for that mindful tribe, before we get started with today's episode. I'd like to offer you a way to release some of the feelings of overwhelm, you might be experiencing. It's a guided meditation that I've put together that can help you abandon your inner blocks and surrender your stress, and I've found that I've become more focused with this particular meditation, as well. And it's really helped me, raise my personal level of contentment, just be more relaxed. And I'm convinced that you will have success with with this as well. It's been very, very well received. It's a full thirty minute guided meditation that I've put together the cost is four dollars ninety nine cents. And you can get a right away by going to mindfulness mode dot com slash release, now right in the spirit of being content with who you are, and letting go of stress. Well, that's a lot of what my guest today is all about, what if you could get in shape and be completely happy with, who you are while you're getting in shape while you're moving forward in life and cheating, some of these goals, you've always wanted to do well, she's one of the world's top health and wellness people. And yet, when I talked to her who was just so comfortable and easy to chat with her. It was like talking with a personal friend. I think you're going to love this interview sit back. Relax. And get connected with health expert, Natalie Jill. Hey, mindful try this is an exciting day because we're going to be talking, all about fitness and health. I have the wonderful Natalie Jill with me today. Hey Natalie, are you in mindfulness mode today? I am absolutely and mindfulness mode today. That's great Natalie Jill is an internationally renowned weight loss expert with over two point five million social media followers. She's been recognized by Forbes for two years running as one of the world's top health and wellness influencers, she's a podcast, her really well known for top-ranking show called leveling up creating everything from nothing after leaving a lucrative position in corporate America, she recreated herself in the online world, building a seven figure a year business from scratch pretty impressive Natalie that's being tremendously awesome, tell us what mindfulness means to you. Mindfulness to me means being grateful and being presence for whatever's happening in your life. Whether that's just simple moments or even things that we view as not so great for our lives. But being in that moment and being aware, and finding the gratitude in it and gratitude is a huge part of mindfulness. That's for sure. Did you ever suffer from being overweight yourself or high gos-? Yes. And suffered from every question you could possibly ask about, like have you suffered from being broke? Have you severed from being overweight if you suffered from failed business? Yes to all, and I will share that the mindfulness of it all and looking for the gratitude and looking for the lessons. Learn has really worked for me. And when you ask about what I ever overweight, I grew up, not. I was actually I should say take that back. When I was a baby. I was actually really overweight. I was one of those. Babies that my mom said, people would call me in the Michelin, baby. I had she said, I had eight roles and I have pictures to prove it on my arm. So I was born a chunky monkey. And I looked like this. Look like my parents were feeding me junk food. And my mom said that she would take me out and people say, you've got a big bruiser there, I was girl. No that point slept slipped aside in an in my teens and as a child in that it might teens in my young adulthood, I was fit. I found exercise and healthy food, and I was really into it, and I and I was very fit on pal. I wasn't, and when I wasn't was after I had my daughter and what I want to share about that is. I'm five foot two. And I had gained about sixty pounds when pregnant now listeners now might hear me and say, well, you were pregnant, but let me explain it. My daughter weighed about six pounds. And she was born and the placenta did not weigh fifty four. So that extra weight on a five foot, two was a lot, and it was a lot for me. And it was something I hadn't experienced before, and it was. Isn't going away after I had her. So that was my area of when I was overweight. Well that sounds really like a tough place to be. And how did you then move to that place where you were overweight? Yes, they what was happening at that time. This was back in two thousand seven two thousand eight. And if you remember what was going on, then we had a huge economic downturn. So there was a lot of things going wrong in a lot of people's lives and mine included. So not only had I gained all of this weights, but I was also going through a divorce. So I was yelling like depression from the weight gain angering through divorce. I was about to be a new single mom. I had a career which was a great career, but it required fulltime travel, and as learning I was going be a new single. Mom. I didn't know how I was going to do that. So I had to take a bow on Terry demotion and the housing market had also taken a huge turn for the worst, and I found myself quickly upside down in my house in debt. In fact, a ridiculous amount of debt. My credit cards returned off and I learned that I was one point four million dollars. And yet, I'll save the cat. I was one point one million dollars in debt because of the housing market crash. And what I pulled out of it trying to dissolve edge. It was the worst time in my life. It really felt like this horrible rock bottom. I was depressed, for the first time in my life, I loved to sabers, I explain it as I felt like a fake her Semnan, and I don't mean fake in appearance. I mean, fake as in nobody really knew what was going on with me. Because I had spent my whole life up until that point doing what I was supposed to do like getting married and having the good job, and I had the white picket fence and the two dogs and the baby on the way I was doing what I was supposed to do, but my life was falling apart. And I was scared to be vulnerable about it and ask for help or share or tell anyone. So I is late at myself and a lot of times when we go into depression, we do that we isolate, and you really can't solve problems with the same mindset that got you in there. So it's very dangerous. And it's very scary. When you go into that isolation mode, because it doesn't really help things. So that was my rock bottom point before. I started turning things around. How did you move through that depression? You take did you take antidepressants. Or what did you do? So I, I did not take anti-depressants and I wish I may be had. I mean, I think that would have helped me a lot. If I had gone, and seen somebody and ask for that help, but my turning point was I had about four months of I remember really solid depression, the kind I didn't want to get out of bed. I don't wanna shower. The only thing that got me moving each day was that I had a daughter, and I literally was living for her. I just felt like I have to put one foot in front of the other for her, and my turning point was I was walking her with my two dogs. I'll never forget this moment. And I caught a reflection of myself in one of those windows, that has like a mirror reflection, and I remember having a moment of looking at myself and going, I don't even know who that person is, like, who is this reflection? I'm looking at because that's not me. I'm somewhere else. But that's not me. And I remember having that moment, I remember that day in that spot. So specifically, and I thought the whole way home and. Remember thinking you know, so many people in my life had always told me I am powered them. I helped them on my used to be a sales director. Like I did all these things for people, what are used to tell them, and I remember thinking, what are you to tell them, and I thought I used to tell them that they had to create a vision know where they wanted to go if they wanted to make a change in get someplace they had to know where they were going, not just what they didn't want any more, and that was a big moment for me, because until that point, I was thinking of everything wrong with my life. I didn't even dare to dream or think about what I actually wanted. I just knew what I didn't want and the more we focus on. Whatever the more we attract that. So I kept focusing on what was wrong with my life. I was broke I was overweight. I was depressed I was divorced. I was a single mom. I if it was on all these negatives. But I never once it had never once occurred to me like where do I actually want? So I went home. I remember turning on Oprah and she was featuring the secret and they were talking about vision boards, and that was step one. I decided to make a vision board. And if felt very light, I started. Grabbing magazines cutting out images of what I wanted and it, it's a prize. I was cutting out fit girls and beach and happy families, and golf course it just put like, whatever was making me feel good. I put them all my vision board and I started staring at it, and I thought, okay if I can stare at this vision board at a magin that I'm living in that vision board that has to change my mood. It has to change by brain. It has to change my thoughts and that will make my actions change. So I would literally stare at that vision board and it wasn't woo. Like, I'm just gonna stare and it's gonna happen to me. It was. How do I start acting like the person living in that vision board? And that's how everything started to shift and change from starts daydream envision and Danna Cise that with step one. Some of the first things you did to great your business. Yeah. So I didn't know I was gonna start a business the time I just knew where I was headed in that it wasn't going to create a business. It was that I was headed towards I wanted ocean. I wanted happy couple. I wanted this is what I wanted. I wanted to feel this way, I wanted to be fit and healthy. So I did two things that I say are critical to everybody right now. There's, there's actually three things that are critical. But these are the two things I said, right? Then I said, I'm going to make a decision that this is happening gonna change my life. I'm going to become the person that lives in that vision board that was step on decide. Step two, is declare it. I knew that if I just kept it in my brain, it wouldn't actually happen, I had to actually tell people to this is what I was doing. And I had to be public about it. So I decided, right. Then that I'm deciding and I'm gonna start declaring that this is how I'm going to live to anyone that wants to listen are here and then step three. I already done. I was create that vision. And those are the still steamed three pillars. I talk about so frequently with transformation now that you have to start with those things. So. What happened then with decided, I was declare it. I had a vision, I started with my body. I'm like, I have to have my body feel the energy in the focus to match what I want vision. So what is the person on the vision board would've eat, what do they do with their bodies? Who do they talk to what do they listen to? So I started searching and like a lot of people find that started weight loss journey. It's information overload. I didn't know what like what you follow. What do you do? What in it was intimidating? I was overwhelmed and I had never had a deal with it before. So I, I didn't really understand, I would think one food was healthy and then read somewhere else that it's not it was very confusing. So I went on a journey to simplify and learn. And that's what I did. I became a master sports nutritionist for my own knowledge, I learned about body for my own knowledge. I did all of that. And what I did, which is what launched my whole business was I decided that I was gonna go on Facebook, which at the time I had maybe one hundred runs from high school. I didn't have a social media following a half now. And I said, I'm going to go. Oh on social media, and I'm going to share, but I've decided I'm getting fed. I'm declaring it here and I'm gonna post what I'm eating and what I'm doing for count ability, and what happened next was unbelievable. And this is what happens when you're very clear on your vision, like how you want to feel and be people were super interested, and supportive, and I tracked it that and I was being offensive for the first time in my life, I was being vulnerable. I wasn't asking for anything. I wasn't trying to sell anything. I was just sharing. I was being real. This is the problem on going through this town fixing it people followed and not only do they follow. They loved it and they started asking questions. And I was connecting with people, which is again when we isolate and we stay in our head. We're not connecting with bigger problems. So I was actually connecting with people even though online, I was connecting sharing invulnerable and people were following. And the next question was how these meals you're making like you should make a recipe book, and I thought a recipe book, I, I wouldn't even know how to do that. And somebody said to me, make any. Doc, and Bruce are googling what isn't e book, I had no idea like. To book, okay? How do I do that? And I had a blackberry on at aim iphone with my weird pitchers of my food. So I put them all on. I think a word document, and then I made a PDF and I made a ten dollar price tag. I didn't have a sales Peugeot at Facebook ads nothing and I went on Facebook, and I said, okay. I made a recipe book, the PDF ten dollars if you're interested Email me, often, you'll pay pal link once you pay it, send you the file people bought it not only it'd be by it. They loved it. And it was my first taste of well, people are interested in what I do. And I that was easy and I made an extra thirty dollars or forty dollars. It started about simple and what I kept doing right. Was I was listening to people and connecting and sharing and as my body was changing, and people were saying that I kept creating a bigger vision, and the next question was you should, I'm curious how you this together with your workouts? How do you. How do you eat like this, a change your body like how much you eat of it? So I sat down one weekend. And, and I made what was my first bestselling book called seventy jumpstart. I wrote it in a weekend, it started as an e book that was twelve pages long. I put a thirty five dollar price tag on it and the same way. No sales pages, no Facebook ads nothing but it on their people loved it. They bought it. Same thing sent me a link. I'd send them the paper. I didn't know anything about internet marketing, or any of it. I didn't care. I just didn't it was just helping. So what was bizarre will not. So bizarre now but it felt the time is people not only do they love it. They would send me these messages, saying Natalie changed my life like in a week, I feel totally different. I'm starting to lose the weight. I the blows gone, this is amazing. Thanks for creating this, and I would say, can I share this with others? I think they'll find it helpful and they'd say, yes, I would screen shot it put it back on Facebook and say, look at look at so-and-so look what they did. And I'd say who is next and it kept going, and that product took off at launch my whole business, it lit. Launched my whole business. It's now a guest selling book consorts. Wow. Incredible. And now you have aging in reverse. Yeah. Do seem like you seem so very, very young. And people say they're your aging in rivers. Yourself and then that's what you name the book, tell us about the book. Yeah. So, you know throughout life anytime. Our ego gets in the way, we sort of have a way of getting checked, and I always go back to my rock bottom spot eleven years ago of that was my ego. In the way, I thought I had everything I was supposed to do. I was self righteous about it, and then boom, a stock market crashes I gained weight, all that stuff happened. I said it happened to me, but now I believe it happened for me, 'cause that launched my business at launch a lot within the years go by and things change in the ego. Pops backup and I've had my definite share of hard shifts, though. Every time that happens. It checks me and I and I get get things again. So what happened about about seventeen months ago and what launched aging in reverse is seventeen months ago, I was doing a intense workout filming for a something that was paying me. It was an intense program, and I was doing workouts that I don't normally do myself, and that's the first thing. So memorize federal. Authenticity, is what works. So when you're not being authentic or when I'm not being authentic back to check me. So I was not being authentic in, in a way that I was going and getting paid to do work outside. I don't normally do which that's kind of a tricky spot because that's like that. It wasn't going to help my audience. And yes that helped me I don't think anyone would blame me. I was getting paid to do it whatever, but I have just like a lot of women my age, we have the genitive distance sees which is fine. We a lot of us have at some feel no pain. Some do and I had struggled with for years, but I learned how to work and do the right exercises. So I didn't make that worse. And I didn't feel it. Well, this particular day I was doing about eight or nine hours of workouts that were not my norm that we're very intense for me and I got tired, and I wasn't using my proper former or any of that, and I got what it wasn't excruciating back pain, and I fixed routing, it was worse than labor pains to me all it was the worst pain I've ever felt in what should have done has gone to the but I didn't. And I kept working through it. I don't even know how that night. I went to sleep. I woke up the next morning at my back wasn't hurting anymore. But I got out of bed and my right, leg wasn't working. I had something called foot drop. So my right foot was dragging on the floor and my whole leg felt like it was non like wouldn't you something falls asleep shake, it would not wake up, and I kept thinking, nothing my leg won't wake up and what I would I drew about that was okay. Maybe it wasn't my back. Maybe I hurt my pure form or my leg, and I'm feeling in my back and let me just get back to California and deal with it. So I the whole airplane ride home. I remember thinking what's wrong with my leg was wrong with my leg? As it turns out, I get back to California. I end up getting an MRI and not only did I have a ruptured desk. I had the biggest ruptured disked my surgeon at ever seen, and it was wrapped around my spinal cord in a cut off circulation to my whole right leg. And if I he told me if you don't have emergency surgery, you know, you might not walk get. So it wasn't a question I went into surgery. But what happened from that, again, is I. Started thinking, oh my gosh, I'm afraid, I'm a sake how my fitness expert, and now this happened to me and how am I going to tell people how do I hide it? Like literally? That's what's going through my head. And instead of going down that path of I'm gonna hide it. I decided to lean into it, and I shared it and people again, were interested, and I had to go on a search of like how do I eat? So I could get the inflammation away. How do I prevent this happening again? Like what do I do to, to really take care of my body in a different whole 'nother level? And that's when aging in reverse started for me because I really started digging into anti inflammatory diet. And how I was gonna how I was going to eat that. That's what started for me. And then to couple that people were always asking me about my age. I'm forty seven and people would say to me, my gosh, you don't look forty seven I'm surprised you're forty seven. But what came up to me for me with that was not? We'll thank you. That's nice of you. It was more, but why isn't that what it's supposed to look like why can't I look like this? Like, who says, and I realized that, that's actually what I call a false. Damn truth FAT. So I said kill fat for a living that people believe that because you're a certain age, you're supposed to be a certain way or supposed to have this happen to you, or you're supposed to whatever and I decided that there was something to that. And anti-inflammatory foods are important. Guess, but so is the mindset shift around what's possible and what aging has to look or feel like so my book, is about all of that. So let's talk about some of those water boats sugars do you promote? You know, avoiding sugars it depends on what type of sugar, so like fruit sugar vegetables sugar her like, no I'm a fan of carbs on those levels. What I'm not a fan of is the high fructose corn syrup with a fake sugars or the candy sugars all of that. I'm not a fan of that. I think that, that is very dangerous with aging evac. There's three things that I have people avoid aging in reverse, that's dairy grains, and sugar and what I've noticed a lot is, is, especially women will say, gosh, it used to be so easy for me now my metabolism is slow. Now my hormones have changed, but they've never changed their diet. And to me, it's like okay before you blame hormones, metabolism, everything else. Why don't you try eating less way and see if you still have those beliefs because yes, maybe your body dealt with those better? When you were younger it was more forgiving. But now you get to actually healthy I need foods at that benefit. You and grains dairy sugar don't help you with that. So one of the first things women notice when Meath with me when they work with me on aging in reverse. Is that that puffiness goes away? The boat goes away their cravings go away that their joint stop hurting. They really truly become anti inflammatory, which helps with focus with their mindset with everything. And now they feel better, and they're more likely to go work out move and take control of their life. You'll, let's talk about dairy, specifically, what is dairy doing to us. That's negative. Yes. Dairy is. It's mucus dairy is an inflammatory food. It's a very implementary food in now. Before people freak out on me about their I'm not a fan of like you can never, ever ever have it. That's not where I'm going with it, but it is food that has a high ratio of inflammation, and a high ratio of people that are allergic to it or have a response to it. That's negative. It's mucus producing. So when you take dairy out of your diet, your body works better, your body's not meant to process dairy. So when you take it out. You have less inflammation, you have less pain. And if people are doubting, this would I ask them to do is just go? Try it for ten days, you can always add it back in try it for ten days. See how you feel if you don't feel any different than don't listen to me, but I want you to try at birth few days and see because the experience I've had with myself and many others is all those little pains at they're talking about. They tend to go away when they take it out. I would agree and I'm almost one hundred percent sugar free. I mean, process sugars, you know, and as far as dairy don't consume very much dairy either hardly at all. But when it comes to grains, it's a bit different because I grew up on bread Ma gather bake bread. And we always had bread bread bread bread and cakes and everything else while I don't consume cakes and pastries and things I are, but breads are a little bit different to. Let's talk in grains, and what they're doing so okay, well, I foremost, I am. Am actually steal EAC though. It's a it's an autoimmune disorder and a lot of people that are feeling. Now, I know it's been trying to, to be gluten free, but I was feeling act before, anyone even knew gluten, so I can't actually have gluten, what I and I do believe that part of the reason people think scan my age, all that looks good is because I haven't had gluten for so many years, I do believe that. So gluten has no benefit anyone SAI. No one needs. Gluten, you can't like when you eat an unprocessed natural food diet, that is free. Now, I'm not saying go have like gluten free donuts. That's not what I mean. Because that would just be junk and empty calories. What I'm saying is when you eat. An unprocessed natural real food the way that it grew the way that it was meant to be that is gluten free by nature. Nobody knows on roll weeks man, it doesn't happen eating a natural gluten-free diet natural unprocessed food diet is Luton free when you eat greens. Yes, there's a lot of buzz about fiber keeps you full longer whatever I don't personally want my food to hang around in me. I want food to do its job. I want to eat food, it gives me neutrons for my muscle or my body or my focus for my energy on I wanna gone. I don't want him hanging around. So when you eat a lot of grains, it is hanging around in you, and you're gonna end up storing that you're not using that right away. So do I think grains are off limits for everybody. No, I'm not saying that at all again everything in moderation. But if you are dealing with stubborn fat loss, you're dealing with low focused, you're dealing with gut issues. You're dealing with him again. Take it out. Let your body work less hard processing those things, and see. How you feel right? Well, what I do like our sunflower seeds pumpkin seeds. Yeah. And so there's nothing wrong with that, right? Huge fan of anything. That's in its natural state. So seeds nuts. Meets I'm a huge fan of fruits and vegetables at unlimited vegetables, unlimited Schwartz. In fact, I on my programs in plans, people can't believe how many vegetables, I'm like you don't have to measure vegetables, nobody ever became obese eating. Too many carrots don't care what you said. Right. We're fine. So at and fruits to even especially the low glycemic wins, I don't have an issue with strawberries raspberries, blackberries, like they're, they're great for us. So nuts seeds olive oil avocado really good fats. All of it huge fan of it will my wife got this thing that you as a handle on it, and you zucchini and stuff like spaghetti and relaxing, my gosh. I like this better than spaghetti and that she did this thing with cauliflower and she put it in the food processors, like cauliflower riots. And we're like this is better than rice. Yeah. And so it's just so delicious. And you've got a little bit of seasoning on it in, man. It's just really delicious. And you don't have that, you know, tired feeling after. After like a rice, he kinda feel tired. Yes. Well, and there's a lot of reasons that happens. I mean one when you eat a high starchy food it really it's just sugar really you're eating that and your body's secrete insulin you're then going to get tired and boggy headed and you're going to create more for more energy. So it's a it's a cycle that keeps going. And then when you eat the slow digest in grains, they're hanging around for a long time. So unless you need. That's why are you doing that? And so to me, it's not about I don't really care to challenge. People on it. Like I definitely have gotten messages from people with their research, and our challenges. My question back to them, is what you're doing working for you, because if it is, then great. I'm not trying to change you. But typically that people that are challenging are dealing with inflammation, and pain and stubborn fat loss, and they wanna be right about their grains in their dairy, but they're struggling, so if you're not struggling like my husband, I'll share, he doesn't matter. What eats? He's fine. He's lean he's fit. He doesn't feel it. He's not sensitive to things. I wouldn't tell him he has to take it out for. People that are struggling with that. What is it hurt to try that, right? Of course of gas and when it comes to mindfulness I find that through mindfulness, you can really notice, what the food is doing to you. Do you experience that Natalie? Oh my gosh. So the example that I give to yes through mindfulness and limit share that. So if you look at if you walk by a body of water and the body of water is a lot of junk in at trash garbage, whatever, just pitcher, a really dirty body of water and you go on through another piece of trash in it. You don't even notice it, it just blends with all the other trash don't even notice anything different. Now, you take a different poll, pristine, beautiful clear glass water, youthful, you notice it, and then you throw a one piece of trash in it, you really notice it. So when you eat in a way, that is clean and nourishing for your body, and your really present to what this food is doing for you. I tell clients a task I have them ask before they eat. What is doing for me because if they can't? Answer that then why are they having it like a racist? Peanut butter Cup isn't really doing much for you. Are they giving you an instant quick gratification on you feel bad about yourself, but like you can look at vegetables, you can look at things in know what it's doing for you? So that part of being mindfulness is really something I teach in an I encouraged to really be aware of what food is doing for you. And then when you eat that way, your body does heal it gets healthy. And then you really notice things more. So sometimes people will say to me, gosh, you know what I gave up dairy Ingraham's didn't like that. Because now I feel it if I have something because your body healthy. Hill. It's telling you, if you don't notice anything like that's the problem right there. I notice that when I gave up well, I didn't completely give up dairy, but I hardly ever have it and processed foods and sugars, then I noticed that I have almost no mucus in my body at all. A notice that as a very obvious change. Yeah. So again, I liked area like everybody else like you put a cheese plate in front of me. And you leave me on attended. I might attack it like a high like it. But I don't like how I feel from it right? Yeah. You can not sure it away. And that's part of mindfulness to it's being very conscious of what you're doing and making decisions that way, if I choose to have a gluten free pizza with dairy. I'm making a decision. I'm gonna have this because I want it. And I know I'm going to feel this way. So I'm aware. And I'm not gonna blame my hormones and everything else now because I made this decision you make the decision. I love how you put that right into the subtitle of your book plan your plate of your weight. Yeah. Very catchy. And then the other part is it's a ten day. I plan to change your state. Yes. Can you really do it in ten days novel? Lutely, you can now if the commitment after for sure, like I'm not saying ten days, and then you can go do whatever I'm saying, take the ten days you how you feel which you're gonna feel amazing. And then decide to continue on now. I can't be responsible for you not continuing on, but yes, in ten days, you will feel completely different if you do what I outlined in the book and the book is not just nutrition and movement. It's a huge part of it is mindset, I take you through how to decide how to declare, how to create a vision how to come up with what I call your secret weapon. You're driving core motivator, which is your secret weapon against attacking use fleet. So I take you through all of that, and you practice this for ten days, you do feel totally different. We'll unexcited because I know the book is coming out in a few days, I went to download it on my kindle, and I'm like, okay, it's not available yet a couldn't get it. So I haven't read it. But I'm very excited to read it. I. I think I think it'll be a huge huge success because we'll always, we're all looking for an answer. Yes adverse. I, I wanna share that aging in reverse as not just about physical appearance because I've definitely had some of those messages to, like, why can't we age gracefully? You can h however, you wanna age what it's about is, when you are, when you think about children, how they have that wonder in that belief they can accomplish anything. I want that back for adults because children believe that they can be whatever they wanna believe nothing's in their way. But also, the we, we text message our friends like, oh, getting old stinks. And then there are friends say, oh, yes, it does. And then we stay in this bad place. So what I'm saying is agent reverse. Let's realize that it's not too late. You're not too old. There are things you can do that are simple. It just takes being mindful and being aware, and making these choices and you can feel like a completely different person. You really count. I'm so excited for what you're doing. The world to get that message out there. It's really great as we move forward. I want to ask you five quick, answer questions, Natalie, the first one is this just thirty second answers are perfect who that one person whose influence mindfulness in your life pool. Oh my gosh. Tony robbins. I'll say I don't know him personally. But just every time I listened to him he just has a way of really pulling into the moments and realising why things happen for us. So I would say from far him totally does, how is mindfulness affected? Your emotions Natalie. Oh my gosh. It's done everything. Because I am a very reactive person by nature, but stopping being present in implementing a pause is my version of mindfulness that really has helped me from responding in ways that I shouldn't how is breathing part of your mind from us. I'm still working on at birth working on it. But I do know when I do take the pause and the breath. I it keeps me focused on the moment and present and it takes the stress away. And let's talk about any other books that are related to mindfulness aging in reverse is an awesome book. I'm sure is. And I can't wait to read it. But what other books on recommended a related to my? Yeah. I've got one right here, and it's I don't know if it's a book or journal, but five minutes are no okay. I and I'll I'm gonna say that because even that's not a book that you really like fully will sit and read that is physically a book that I carry with me everywhere, and it reminds me to find gratitude and things morning and night. Always and keep me present to the moment. Right. And you mentioned before, but gratitude, and so the last thing is there an app that helps you with your mindfulness, so I like some of the meditation apps. I've got all of them about like beautify. And so I don't have a particular one right now. But I love all the meditation ones. Right. And what does your meditation practice? Look. So mind looks very different than textbook sil-. So for me, I am very much in a d HD person. So may sitting still creates tension for me. I'm still working on that. But for me just going for a walk without music without my phone without anything literally just going for a walk and really getting present to what I hear what I see what I smell, and what I feel so I'll walk. And I'll literally I have a there's a three mile walk. I that I do pretty much daily and I- consciously will walk thinking, okay right now. I'm see the trees. I see the birds. I see the swans. I see I like malignantly say I see. And then I'll go to my hearing. I hear the lawnmowers I hear the lake I hear an when I do that, it calms me it, keeps me present in its some of my most enjoyable parts of the day. Like I noticed just around that, as I recently, I walk this lake loop everyday in two swans, they're, and I noticed that one of the swans was gone, and it was disturbing him. Like we're on. To get eaten by a Coyote like worth this one. And then about a week later, I saw the swamp the little baby swan. Oh, and just like noticing those things in remembering that were part of part of a much bigger world than our problems that we were stressed about earlier. Right. And speaking of stress, I want to ask you, if you were ever bullied or if you have a bullying story, can share with us where mindfulness would have made a difference. Yes, EV lots of that Manege that mostly from being a preteen, but I remember being a preteen and being teased made fun of about money. Believe it or not. I didn't come from a family with a lot of money by any means. We were definitely Moore middleclass family a very an average middle class family. But I remember there being some kids that thought I had a lot of money, and they would make fun of Mantilla's me about fat and they called me. I was raised Jewish. So they would call me a job, which was the Jewish American Princess and it was met in a derogatory way and I remember being feeling really uncomfortable. And not sharing are talking what could have made a difference looking at it now like how I would handle things with my daughter or other people would be to look at the person that's doing it. As what are they dealing within their life? That tips making them want to be meaner, d- or lash out or take it out on you like because when you can have compassion for them. Even when you don't want to, like, when you have compassion for what they're dealing with coming from where they're hearing things. What they're struggling with that can change. Art, your reaction. Oh, I really appreciate this conversation Attlee. This has been a great time together in your book aging in reverse is going to be wonderful for the world. So, so get out there now know your website is Natalie. Jill fitness dot com, right. Yep. That is correct. And then you can get aging in reverse that age dash in dash reverse dot com. Okay with the dashes in between aid in river Stockholm Yawkey with dashes. Okay. We'll Natalie, thank you so much for joining us a mind. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Bye. Now, thanks so much for joining us today on mindfulness mode for show notes for every episode checkout, mindfulness mode dot com. And tight, the guest's name or the episode number into the search bar. You can also go mindfulness mode dot com slash whatever. Episode number. You like if you've enjoyed this podcast, you could help us out by subscribing to mindfulness mode, wherever you listen, whether it's on I tunes or Stitcher, Google play Spotify, so many places you can hear mindfulness mode so hit subscribe, and share because that truly helps our show. Remember what I mentioned at the top of the show. The release your overwhelm guided meditation for four ninety nine abandon your inner blocks, surrender your stress and become more focused with a calming sound of the waves. And reminders about how you can release your blocks that are holding you back. Download this full length. Three. Minute. Guided meditation at mindfulness mode dot com slash release. So remember subscribing and sharing helps keep mindfulness mode on the air till next time. Mindful tribe us what we've learned today to reach new heights of calm, focus, and happiness. Stay in the mode.

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1895: Bruce Langford: Bruce Interviews JV on Mindfulness

Conscious Millionaire Show ~ Business Coaching and Mentoring 6 Days a Week

56:04 min | 6 months ago

1895: Bruce Langford: Bruce Interviews JV on Mindfulness

"Welcome to the conscious millionaire show episode number eighteen ninety-five. This is Bruce Langford host and creator of the mindfulness mode podcast and on today's show. I'm going to take on the role as host. And I'm going to be interviewing jv on the topic of mindfulness. Welcome to conscious millionaire. The number one show for conscious entrepreneurs and CEOs on a mission to build a highly profitable business that makes a positive impact on a trip so discover how to make bigger money create a bigger impact and live as in your lives, you're listening to the conscious meaner Network her by over twelve million listeners in 190 countries off. Now join your host JV Crum the 3rd, the conscious millionaire Mentor Master NLP coach speaker and author of the number one international bestseller conscious millionaire grow your business office by making a difference. Hi, this is JV. I've got a very special announcement today. I've got a Bonus interview with you. Yes, it's a mystery guess you have to stay tuned. It's right at the end of this interview. So stay tuned and listen to both interviews today. This is JV and if you're listening to the conscious millionaire show, I believe it's because you want to Achieve Financial Freedom by Making a big difference. That's why I've created a new audio for you. It's the born to make millions empowerment audio and it's free to you today as my listener. Get your born to make millions audio right now. Go to conscious millionaire.com make millions again. Go to conscious millionaire.com forward slash make millions. So JV, it's great to be here and have a chance to interview you today on your own show. I'm really excited for this. So you are on a mission to make a difference and I've always known that so JV, what is the transformation that you are hoping to achieve when you work with people such a great question Bruce and the transformation is really threefold. I look at the the way to build a business that's going to be a conscious millionaire. Businessman. It's going to thrive at your highest levels while you're thriving as well is that we first have to start with the transformation of you as a person as an entrepreneur and deal with such situations that we'll talk about the day as purpose and why am I on the planet? And what's the vision I have and that actually is the second transformation is once we do that inner work of Shifting things off. Like what's my personal perception of myself? What's the personal reality of created? And how does that need to be up leveled? And how do I need to transform so it can be up level so I can play Bingo and I can produce bigger and I can impact bigger and I can put more money in the bank. How can I do all that? So then transform that Vision by expanding why you're on the planet and what it is not want to be actually doing with your business then we transform your business by asking bigger questions. Like how does the business model need to be refined? And how can we take wage? Your business say your business. Is that a half million or it's a at a million, but you want to go to ten million. What does that model look like and what's the best path for you to get there and how to you and your people in your team on need to transform to buy into this bigger mod, but also to play bigger. So everybody from my standpoint business success is about personal success and personal transformation as the real foundation for shift of your business. And I want to talk about mindfulness. Like I said at the top of the show, so how does mindfulness play a role in how you work with people to help them achieve their goals? Well, I think mindfulness is it's such a great phrase and it's used a lot of books today, you know, you find it on the internet my connection to mindfulness really comes out of a lot of personal work that I've done including things like living at a Buddhist Monastery to take a deeper, you know path of meditation their wages. It's a week at the Buddhist Monastery. I stayed at we would meditate like twelve hours in a day. I was actually my favorite day. You have to get used to that but gosh the depth of of exploration into space and formlessness, but that's about being present when I got to the Buddhist Monastery. I was a silent meditation instructor and I had a lot of kind of Western goal achievement kind of expectations about marriage now. I was going to become the perfect meditator on the planet. And the first thing they told me was meditation is just the practice. of being present so not the Perfection of being present just the practice of being present and I have to say I was greatly relieved because now I didn't for the first time in my life cuz I'd been one of those overage after I have to be perfect types and this was twenty years ago. I realized that I had come here, you know, and I trusted that I had chosen correctly authentically to actually I learned how to be a perfect meditator. I was actually just going to practice being present. It turns out that there's a lot to practice it seems simple but just the practice of focusing on your breath and you know doing forty-five minutes of seated meditation and then I fell in love with Bruce walking meditation partly cuz that was tired of sitting. Yeah, but I really actually just had a strong natural affinity for you take these off. Very slow, you know your step is just on your right foot in front of where the front of your left foot is, right and and you just you're moving slowly off. So for me mindfulness really is the practice of being present and there's another part it's related to present but it it's presently connected one with myself and two was something bigger than myself and we can all use the universe God Supreme intelligence internal power. I think all those are true for me. I'm comfortable with with with lots of different ways to call a rose rose, right but it's also being connected in that to me is where that sense of purpose comes from is that It's not an accident that I'm here. I believe that completely my experience says that's not true. I'm here on a mission. And I actually look at it as a Divine Mission a spiritual Mission, you know, because I don't myself see how I can deeply look at purpose and not say there's a spiritual component to age and that spiritual component for me is being connected to something larger than my own egoic self. And that's where a lot of inspirational purpose comes from. But it only comes in the mindfulness of being present. It doesn't come from exploring the past. It doesn't come from an you know, I know both of us like to read we bought stocks of books were reading at one time. It doesn't come from knowledge-based engineering or developing another skill except for the scale of being with them myself allowing myself to connect with in and my experience is the more I connect deeper Within Myself simultaneously the more I connect with something. That is beyond myself. And that to me is the core of what this thing called life is all about and so the transformation that I help entrepreneurs come from come into is let's understand that at a deeper level because this is going to impact every decision. You're going to make about your life and your business who you work with who you want on your team who you want is your clients, you know, I saved it on my show all the time if if you don't want to live with a higher purpose, if you don't want to build a business that's about impacting other people in a positive way and you've only want someone to talk to you about how can we make more money today? Not only do I think you're missing the real boat on how to build an entrepreneurial business that's going to be thriving and make a successful in in this time of transparency and this conscious shifts that were making in terms of how we look at our lives and businesses. But you're also not the right client for me because I want to help people make their big waves and I think the same way you can make a big wave that matters is to know who you are and what big wave you actually feel compelled to make So what is the sole reason you were placed on this Earth JV? It's a great great question. I think it is simultaneously because I can't do the work with others without doing the work first with myself, you know, and when I talked to talk to potential clients or current clients, I go, you know, sometimes people especially in the coaching kind of business think they're paying for the hours that you spend with and I go actually thought when you're paying for your paying for all the hours you don't spend with me you're paying for the fact that I'm going to go do my work between now and when we talk again that I'm going to go meditate that I'm going to go to an introspective space that I'm not going to listen to my own inspiration and that's going to shift how I coach you next time and it's also going to shift how I coach you because I'm doing that while I coach you. I'm holding the space for you. So I would say that they're parallel paths one is myself to awaken to a higher purpose to connect with my human potential. At a deeper level and to bring it forth in a way that creates more profound and Powerful outcomes for myself as a human being and that puts me in the position of doing that with others. So it's on the what I call purposes always ultimately outward directed. So that shifts me so that I can help other people wake up truly a way to your purpose to your potential to the life that will bring you joy and happiness because I also think you'll be most successful when you're living from joy and happiness and fulfillment jobs than owning a business or coaching or being an entrepreneur and most days you feel like you're in a grind and always worrying. Where's the money coming from right as opposed to being in flow and going what's that impact I can make today who can I call and make a difference in their life because folks those are the people who will be coming off. Was powerful and loyal fans and customers and I think in this millionaire production World, which because I have conscious millionaire. And in fact, I think most people have missed the boat. I think they're focused and asking the wrong question when they get out of bed, how can I put money in the bank today now, it's not that you are not be asking that question the wrong first question. The first question is, how do I impact someone in a powerful way that expresses my purpose it makes a difference to them in the way they thought difference could be made you've got to understand that connection. And then how can I make more of that difference in a way that they become a client or they buy a product or service? But it's in that order conscious millionaire is impact then money and that's the way that you're going to build a thriving business. That's great Insight JV. I want to ask you about reasons and you know, it's said sometimes that there's a reason for everything a reason that everything happens. But I know that you experienced abuse as a child. Can you tell us a little bit about that and what that is taught you and what you think the reason is that that was a part of your life. That is a great question and certainly, you know, after twenty years of private coach coaching private private therapy that I went through because it was you know, there were just so many deeply wounded parts of me as well as group work and shamanic work and energy work. I mean, I've approached this from so many different, you know, I think the meditation is wage and the mindfulness is all part of that. I think going through the process of healing. Which folks I don't think that's an all-or-nothing flip a switch thing. I think like discovering your purpose taking your journey, you know building your business. I think that healing ongoing process to me healing is coming to deeper wholeness. Coming to deeper and more complete wholeness and we're always in a position to become more whole more complete more aware is part of wholeness. We're always in a position that we can become more aware that we can express more fully. It's given me the ability to do that work with others. And so what I've discovered is someone doesn't have to have been off, you know, sexually abused for 12 years and growing company environment where they didn't feel safe. Every person on this planet has been wounded and Subway every person on this planet wounds themselves, you use the phrase self bullying home. We all think less of ourselves than our true beauty actually is right. I just had new new head shots yesterday. And so I'll pull back the curtain really far for you. If you're listening today. I shaved my head 3 and 1/2 years ago. So for 3 and 1/2 years it wasn't that I was trying to gain by. I mean people kind of made up some a few people. I knew like aren't you kind of deceiving people and I'm thinking no, I'm just fighting to go have a photo made right? So I objectively I'm a decent-looking guy maybe more than decent. All right, but I've never thought of myself as ugly but I've never thought of myself as attractive my entire life. So actually it was traumatizing to even think of go get going to sit stand in front of her photographer, you know for an hour and have a ton of photos made I had to do a lot of personal work to get to a place that I was okay with that. I think that's something a lot of people. Suffer from you know before I started my podcast which is now in its seventh year. I deplored my voice and I've talked to a lot of people that package that comes up and I'm just using it as an example and through doing the podcast not only do I like my voice. I'm in love with it now cuz I've learned how to use it in different ways when I'm on the page strong doing a solo show or I'm creating a hypnotic audio four people, right? All of us as human beings go through those pieces and because I've gone through them at such a very deep level. I'm just present when I'm working with people to realizing there's a area we need to work on not from a therapy standpoint, but from a standpoint of freeing someone to play it a bigger level and that's part of what I mean by the the the transformation internally Bruce of someone self-perception. We all have pieces of self-perception. I've met many people and and it tends to happen more in our society for women than men because of the just the insanity of the whole modeling and world of you. See it's like you you see these women you go. What's real is that they don't even exist because they've been photoshopped so much. Right. And so all of us have things that we need to heal in ourselves in order to truly awaken to our purpose and play at our biggest levels and have a life that is playing in a business that's creating a big wave and making a big impact and when we just think it's the sales model and folks it is partially the sales funnel. I'm not saying it isn't but we sent it talk about that like it's the hundred percent and it's probably the 10% The 80% is just us. And then there's about 10% that's pure strategy in about 10% That's pure execution. But it's safer to be attracted to go work with somebody who's only going to talk about the external stuff cuz I never have to actually look in the mirror. But the thing is if we don't look in the mirror, we're short-changing ourselves from really playing at the level we could and we're short-changing ourselves from having a joy and happiness is a good When we come back, we'll be talking more about jv's entrepreneurial journey and how he can help you with his wisdom and his thoughts and his ideas and his coaching to become an even better and more successful person on this Earth using mindfulness. This is Jamie from the 3rd. I'm here with Christine McKinley. She completed the business accelerator. Formula Live program with me. First of all, I want to let everybody know you could go to McKinley coachusa.com to learn more about Christy. She does Reiki healing. I'm curious. What's the biggest change that you got out of participating in the business accelerator feeling of that? I don't have to do everything at once and that it's okay to ask for help and support and accountability to grow my business. And if you were talking to another entrepreneur or off today, why would you tell them that they should sign up and participate in the next business accelerator because I found that I had the support and accountability that I need to like to make all the you know, life and decisions my business and the results that I achieved what I don't believe would have happened any other way, they wouldn't have happened as easily and I learned so much down. Off of reaching a lot of goals that I didn't think we were attainable or were several years off their already here. I'm already attaining them. So if you are a start-up five-figure earn a six-figure business owner entrepreneur coach, the business accelerator is designed specifically for you to help you change your mind set your business model get a 90-day success plan with the goal of doubling your impact and profits over the next six months to learn more go to conscious millionaire.com forward slash business accelerator off again, go to conscious millionaire, I look forward to you joining me for the next live business except for formula. Welcome back. It's Bruce Langford of the mindfulness mode podcast having the opportunity to interview JV today. So JV, I want to go to your entrepreneurial Journey. What was your first entrepreneurial experience? And how did you get into that? What did it look like? That's such a great question and I just want to remind you Bruce is off podcast mindfulness mode podcast. I've been on it several times go check it out will have a link to it in the podcast notes. So I want to say that but if you're going where am I am I am conscious murder. Yes you are, but I'm getting interviewed by Bruce actually Bruce it was an age for wow. Yes, and I didn't realize how entrepreneurial I was a little kid, but I was always starting businesses always ordering like boys life was a magazine. I took and I'd order cards like a dollar twenty-five and I kept fifty cents candle same thing dollar twenty-five back up fifty cents, but at age four, I had already learned Bruce. I'm sharing this with you. And if your kids are listening, well, I'm just saying I'm telling the kids how to get what they want. I had already figured out we didn't have a lot of money. I was an only child and I would just choose one major thing. I wanted for birthday or Christmas and I would talk about it incessantly. Like so that my parents knew if I didn't get that. Oh my God was I going to be an unhappy little kid, but I didn't ask for like ten things cuz I knew that wasn't a possibility. So I wanted a pup tent home at age for for my birthday. And that's all I tied a little canvas pup tent so I got the pup tent and then we had a tangerine tree. We're out in the country. So we're on an acre off my grandmother lived with us. So we didn't have money to buy cart formal cartons. So we saved up egg cartons and one day my grandmother and I spent the day pigs tangerines and squeezing them into these twelve Little Egg compartments. And then I set up my pup tent for the high school kids got off the bus because somehow I had figured out they had jobs and so they had money and I was going to get some of that money off. That's what I was thinking folks. I was not thinking impact that was thinking little boy. I don't have any money. I didn't even have an allowance tellers 8 and it was a dime. I'm just telling you the truth and the lengthy list of stuff I had to do for that time. So unbelievable. So but I think that motivated me to be an entrepreneur and so I sold my little egg cartons for a dime an hour and you know, you had Lucy in the newspaper then you know in peanuts and she was given psychiatric help for Nick when I'm thinking no no. No, I'm getting a dime from my stuff now in retrospect. They were probably really awful nice, you know high school kids that of course through through this way. I'm sure they didn't drink it, but I sold all my little cartons sofa Tangerine juice for a dime each now is pocketing my dimes. Wow, and when was the first time you became a millionaire using that same concept becoming an entrepreneur yet 25 at 22,000 finishing my first graduate degree, which was in clinical psych and testing psych and my father's company had a trucking line with basically on the verge of bankruptcy and she said and I had decided not to go on and get my Ph.D. I was going to go to law school, which I I did three years later. But while I ran a company folks do not try this at home. But God I came home to work on my thesis for a month in my dad was really depressed and I love my dad very deeply and he says, well you come help me for six months and I said, I don't know anything about business, but after a month of those conversations, I just decided I said, I'll come work with you for six months. I really want to go to law school. And it turned out I was the proverbial duck to water. I've never taken a business class in college because I read business books because we've never had any money in. My dad had always been in business. So we cope things right? So while I was off, I had a lawn mowing business at 9. I was the only kid in town with a lawnmower. No other kids wanted to do all this. I had zero competition. It was really interesting and I'd go around and get everybody to let me mow their lawn and pay me back and I never coded. I was an entrepreneur. I didn't get the connection at all and I just decided business is where you lose money, so I certainly didn't want to go into a business. But I told my dad I would and it turned out that I from day one. I kind of took over the businesses and I just started figuring out what was wrong with in 3 months. I figured out one Sunday. I was just going through all the numbers. I couldn't figure it out. We were like hauling all these loads and off. You know, why is it we have no money in it the end of every week. We're like worse off than if we'd not been in business, right? And it's so funny when I look back but it was a profound insight and I'm I'm sharing this with you today because right now you may be just one inside away. From going. Oh, that's what's going on and it changed everything. I called my dad up cuz we were living a hundred miles apart because he'd come down but I was in Tampa wage our business was hauling to and from the ports there and I said dad I figured it out. Every week we take in less money than we pay out. And that really what's the problem? Right, right. That would be a big problem. That was that was it and Monday morning. I was pretty Brazen at 20326 very aggressive at getting what I wanted. I would not like me today. I would not be friends with that guy today. But anyway, I was very aggressive and I called up all our big clients. I mean, they've come on billion dollar companies, right? And I said, we've got to have an increase in our rates if we're going to keep falling for you cuz we're losing money. And on that very day. I got rates increased with big clients. You know clients you would recognize the names billion dollar clients. I got them raised as much as 25% Wow, that took care of the cash flow problem. Wow, just like that and about a month later. I'm going through all of our invoices from all the people who bill us like for tarps and tires and trailer repairs and off that. And I went I had the same Insight. I went. Oh, wow. Dad doesn't take any bids. These people are just building us what they want and in polite terms. They were taking full advantage of so I made a decision. We were going to open our own maintenance company. And so the fourth month, we open our own maintenance company and hire two of our own maintenance people quick taking our stuff for outside repairs, which was costing us a Fortune started doing preventative maintenance, which also cut down on our repairs and then I met with all of our suppliers like the tarps the tires are things like that and I said, I'm going to take bids. And somehow one person asked me Bruce. Will you tell us who were bidding against and there was just this immediate Insight don't do that. And I said no so I I began at 8:20 a.m. Taking bids and there were blind bids and nobody knew who they were bidding from against and I took three bids on everything we bought and there was a shake-up some suppliers stayed but at much lower rates and not charging us and other suppliers left and the short story of that is that within three years. We were typically making a hundred thousand a month in profits off. Wow, so it made a huge difference. Yeah, so and that's when I moved into a new forestry home bought a Mercedes was living on on on the water. And so I didn't plan to be an entrepreneur. But it just got in my blood and I think it was already there at age four and this just gave me an opportunity to well. Wow, and that's how I systemized everything. I mean, I got everything, you know churning and I I realized how much I loved business that it was an interesting thing, but The completion of that story that I think we should say is that three months into living in this beautiful home. I had a complete meltdown and I remember it every time I tell this summer I was standing in my living room at palm trees in my front lawn. There were boats sail boats on the bay. And I said to myself something's wrong with this picture. I don't even like myself. I'm horrible at relationships and all I did was figure out how to make money that was probably in my entire life my most profound and important Insight because it's changed the rest of my life because I went off on a journey of Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer and sweat lodges and spiritual Retreats. I'm going there is something I have missed and of course that something is that we started this episode talking about I didn't have a connection to a higher purpose. I had only figured out how to make the money but I wasn't happy I wasn't. Joyful. I was fulfilled I didn't even like myself and I didn't feel that at the end of the day what I did actually mattered and that anybody's life in a real way was any break off. I had just created a transactional set of patterns that made money and while that was very good to learn how to do that because it's important in a business I now I realized and ultimately sold the companies to go off and live at the Buddhist Monastery and esalen and and take A, New Path. That's why I'm so passionate about helping entrepreneurs get to their millions or whatever it is. They want whatever that means to them in terms of financial success but to do it in a way that not only when they get there but along the path, they'll be happier. They'll be more. Joyful. They'll be more fulfilled every day. They'll start feeling that what I do really matters and I think there is only one way to do that and that's to start with your purpose and your reason for being here and crafts your friendships and your life and your business and your clients and the people you hired to work on you with you as your team. Everything has to be driven by what's that song purpose that's inside of you that needs to get out screaming to get out and let it drive the direction and then do good business combined with that. JV it's fascinating hearing your story and hearing you talk about your purpose and how mindfulness has played a role in that tell us. What is your 24-hour challenge to listeners? What my 24 hour challenge is I know the power of meditating, you know, I've created a ritual around it. I have a Buddhist monk robe that I bought that's gold prayer beads. I've created a setting where I meditate I have a I want you to get a picture of what this looks like. I have a Tibetan Bell that I ring at the beginning and end of my meditation. So I've created a ritual odd, but I have a purple which is you know wealth and royalty purple cushion that I sit on right I read and chant the home Sutra every time I meditate. Which is all about form and formlessness. It's it's really to me having studied Christianity and Buddhism having been pre Seminary and Christian Life having lived at a Buddhist Monastery to me that you know, I've never said this folks cuz I avoid religion but as long as I moved into this field, I'm going home or something that that could have a profound effect on you and and whatever you believe is fine with me. I hope you know that in Buddhism if you understand that heart Sutra which is about the essence of or form and formlessness being the same. And in Christian if you understand 1st Corinthians 13, which is the section on love, like if you understand both of those, I think you understand the essence of these two great religions and the power that we have as human beings to transform because when we come from a place of love and when we realize that really we're connecting to the issue connecting to this emptiness and so we can become vessels for a greater message to come through us when we come to that place. However, you get there. I think she could have such a bigger impact on the world. You can build a business that is going to make a bigger difference and you can create your own big wave which is really what I focus on wage with my clients whether it's in a group program or it's in a private VIP is I want to help you make your big wave get your message out there get that crafted in a way that you're clear about your offer. You're clear about who you should work with and you can do it from a place of honesty and integrity and purpose because I think that's when you're going to live your greatest life and you're going to build your greatest business. And I think it's also where you'll be financially successful in a way that at the end of every day. You can feel not just think that what you did mattered and I really think that's what everybody wants to feel at the end of every day. I agree with you and I love your concept JV give creating your big wave. That's just such a great image. That is such a fantastic way to describe it. Now JV is we move forward. I want to ask you eight quick answer the questions. And the first one is this. What is the mindset that you have developed for discovering your best business opportunities. For me the best business opportunities all come from relationships. I spend you know, a lot of my relationships come out after twenty three hundred episodes come after the people that I've met through podcasting either by guest or I've been on their shows. It just happens to be a way that I connect but building relationships and then asking myself, how can I thought I'd something of value to other people today every day. I create hypnotic. Audios for my private clients. I create group ones for all my group programs. I create them for myself. I am definitely the cobbler who has shoes right now every two weeks. I'm shifting so much after create a new empowerment audio for myself. That's hypnotic uses ericksonian hypnosis and NLP patterns, and I asked questions and it like this so you could ask yourself this question every day. This is in my empowerment audio. I put it in most of my private clients audio Edge. Is this question so important? Who should I call or contact today? So people start generate listen to this in the morning and start generating a list and if you listen, it might come to you visually auditoria. Kinesthetically, you might you know see it in your forehead. There's so many ways. You have the way you get your intuition you're inspired. Bots names will start coming to you and you can sit down and journal in the morning. Who should I call or contact a day off and just see what comes out call them contact them, you know, the universe is helping you here right inspired thought is coming from whence it comes. It doesn't really matter. The point is it comes home? So I come from that mindset of relationships. And who should I call or contact today and just ask myself that every day? I think that's really powerful number eighty-two. What is one strategy that will Empower entrepreneurs to make more money? You know, I'm I'm going to say sometimes you just need to focus on the money. So you need at all times to have these two things that are true. You need to have a specific amount of sales that you want to make in a specific time frame and every day. You need to focus on that. That's great. That's a great strategy just to directly just your presence. Okay, the money part is the money part and you need to have metrics you need to know what you're doing. But when you have part of what you're focused on is, who do you help? What's that impact but then when you just talk about the money I say go for the money, but you've got to be clear. It can't be a range folks home, you know, and and I'll tell you a technique I use that I highly recommend I don't know how many people use this but I think people let's say you want to put a hundred thousand in a bank in some specific time frame just say that's an amount of money. Don't use a hundred thousand create what I call a jagged edge because your mind is going to fix it. And remember it better it the hundred thousand can talk to slide in but it doesn't have the same impact as saying a hundred and $1,439. Now you've got something very specific and it's like the oyster that grain of sand just that it has those kind of jagged as yours on it. It's like you're you're inside your oyster your mind your heart your soul your energy your emotions are all going to go. Oh, I have to get two hundred and $1,439. How would I do that? Great suggestion and number three now, you've already alluded to this a bit, but maybe you can sum it up. What is your purpose in life? And how did it influence your business Vision spend cash that question cuz they're very parallel. In terms of others, it's awakened them to their purpose and connecting them to their potential and then empowering them to activate all that so that they can create results in the results are really threefold. The results is folks if if you build the business, but you lose your soul in your life in the process, which I did that first time. It's going to be painful and you're not going to have a pleasant life. So it's for you to have a fulfilled happy life for you to be connecting with the right choice clients with a vision that matters and for you to be building your business and increasing your revenues and profits. That's why I waken people because that trilogy of living the great life of connecting and making a difference for the right clients and becoming financially free and on a sustainable basis not just for a short period of time. But you're Building Wealth and you're having freedom and you're having a good time doing it. That's why I'm here number for what is a book to help entrepreneurs and coaches achieved greater financial success and therefore make it bigger difference. Well someone that you actually introduced me to he's been on your shows, but on Mine He's become a good friend and that's Tommy Breedlove wage and he has a fantastic book. We're going to put it on the show notes legendary and he works exclusively with men who want to become Legends. Yeah, he's a terrific guy. Tommy is absolutely amazing. He's an actor. He is a connector and he is a man of deep soul. Yes, he is and I loved his book legendary as well. Number five. What is the best way for listeners to reach you JV? Well, you know every once in a while I do this and I've been doing it for a year and half. In fact, I did it the first time when I was a guest on how Elrod show it worked like magic and nobody's ever abused it. So I'm going to give you my personal cell. And the preferred way for me because I'm typically in meetings are doing podcasts that very seldom have like empty time right or time that I'm not doing something like that text me off and just give me your name give me the URL of your business and and and tell me why you'd like to connect with me or you know, and I will personally call you back. Nobody might I don't give that to my assistant. I have so many wage when I call them they go. Well, this is you and I said, yes, I told you I was going to call you. Why would I lie on my own podcast to you? So here's my cellphone. It's mountain time just to remind you of that but I turn it off at night. So you can text me anytime you want. It's 303-641-0401. So my duress she is 303-641-0401. And of course you can always go to the website to learn more. Mm. Free giveaways and that's conscious millionaire.com. And that's also where you can find out about our podcast the conscious millionaire show. Yeah conscious millionaire.com. And that phone number again. 303-641-0401. So JV, what is your next Summit that you want to climb and what challenge or obstacle do you need to overcome to reach? It is a fantastic question and it's very specific. I had planned earlier this year to do my first in-person event off and needless to say like a lot of people those plans got changed, right? Yes, they definitely got changed. So I've met with a number of people a meeting with marketers. I'm looking at are all the pieces so I'm now going to create a series of three day events. And I'm also simultaneously I've started creating and doing live programs called business accelerator. Those are for five and early six-figure and you can learn more about that program. It's live. I do all the training all the coaching myself. There are no other assistance that are doing it and that's conscious millionaire.com forward slash business accelerator conscious Nyan are.com forward slash business accelerator. So that's working out fantastically. So the challenge is the 3D events and I'm creating a first million accelerator home designing. I wouldn't be the most robust program that any entrepreneur could possibly be in to help entrepreneurs that really want to be purpose and passion driven. They want to make a big impact with their lives and they also want to get to their first million. I really want to help those people because I know how much difference it made to me and that three year journey I took off. Became a millionaire and life just changed. Listen folks. I had a lot of personal work that needed to be done a lot of baggage in my case, especially having grown up being sexually abused but I can guarantee this off living in a four-story home with the Mercedes in the garage. Even when I had that meltdown Bruce I said to myself after that that same day I said, but I don't want to get the house in Mercedes back. You know, that was being honest, I grew up in broken down ten year old Chevrolets, right? We didn't have those kind of cars. We didn't live that way. And so it wasn't that I regretted the financial success. I regretted not being at home in myself and feeling empty inside off, right? So I want to help entrepreneurs who genuinely want to create a big way with their life and entrepreneurs to me or coaches business owners, you know, I were dead. Primarily in this service business area to get to their first million first in Revenue second and net worth cuz this is the order it occurs in third to ultimately get there for you're making a million profit a year off. It will change your life and Empower you to be able to help more people cuz now you can truly expand and and recreating that big wave so JV. What Legacy do you want to leave behind? I want to have in a mass movement level both with conscious millionaire and Bruce, you know, I have a global non profit conscious world. I want would literally with both impacted positively millions of people and helping them wake up to their true purpose and power and potential that they have and put it into action to make their their clients lives better to transform them to a higher level and to ultimately impact Society in a positive way by all the good work you are doing And what is the cause that you'd like to give a shout out too? Well, actually because I highly invested in my own non-profit conscious World Foundation. I want to give a shout out to that and our driving question that the the nonprofit is on the planet to answer and I'll be starting in 20 21 a podcast called the conscious world show in which we're going to be furthering that cause is to how do we create a world in which everybody can win? Some people state that a world that works for everybody. And our specific programs were going to developer for going to be for eighteen to twenty five year olds my targets to be in a hundred countries helping doing trainings with eighteen to twenty five year olds. They've become conscious leaders to in whatever area of Life. They they go in that they're helping to answer that question. How do how do we create systems governments economics education show that it's actually designed for everybody to win. What does that look like? And how do we accomplish it? That is the biggest question. I want to help answer in my lifetime JV. It's been so enlightening being able to interview you thank you for letting me be in this position where I can interview you. It's a tremendous honor. It had been absolutely fantastic. Do you have a final word of advice for your listeners today JV as we kind of wrap up the show? Yeah. That's that's wrong. Ask a question. I like to start with the immediate. What is it that you can do today? That will help another person and I want to put a kicker on it in a way that will also fulfill you because if you if you do only one of those things it's not not complete off. But when you're looking at how do I help somebody else and I get fulfilled for a been to you're going to want to do more of it and they're going to want more of it. That's the perfect combination. JV thanks again for letting me interview you today on the conscious millionaire. Well, Bruce, I want to thank you. It was actually my honor. This is a lot of fun going back and forth with each other and as I always end every one of my shows I want to thank you for listening today for showing up for yourself. Not for me not for birth, but for you to take another step forward to play bigger make a bigger impact and put more money in the bank and doing all that in a way that will make you happier and more fulfilled and just have a heart of Joy because that's when life really works big. Hi, this is JP from the 3rd and I'm here with Christine McKinley who participated in the live business accelerator formula program. I teach that live Christy Welcome to the Jungle. Thank you. I appreciate it. So could you tell everybody what business you're in and what's your url if people want to get in touch with you? The name of the business is McKinley coaching and the website is McKinley, I'm curious. What do you do at McKinley coaching? And who's your primary market? And why do you love working with them? I am a Reiki master teacher and I help with business owners who are heart centered and conscious because I too I'm heart centered and conscious and I am aware of what's possible when you make yourself first. Because when you make yourself first, you're in a better space to take care of others. Who you were there to serve in your business with your products and your services and I'm just I love working with them because they're willing to do the work to take care of themselves because they're aware of the big picture. And what's what's important for them in terms are like long-term goals. So Christy. I know you have created something very special for everyone listening today. What is image? Yes, it's an ebook. It's three mistakes that keep you exhausted and how to overcome them. How can somebody get that? You just go and sign up on my website. You can like coaching. Com. So that's Mackenzie coaching.com, you know, if I could Christy I'd like to ask you just a few questions about your experience taking the live business accelerator formula now folks, we have another one coming up and I teach these live personally, I'd love doing it. I love creating a group and then taking people through an experience like this. What did you enjoy most about being part of the business accelerator group home? I think what I appreciated most is that I was in a space where you know, you were you were guiding me in coaching and then the others were participating and we were all engaging in a group process on lifting each other up. It was also I felt comfortable enough to be very vulnerable about some things that I feel that I think in any other space wouldn't have been possible and I just really kind of appreciated seeing everyone where they were at their own levels and just adding my own ideas about like, oh that's a possibility for me or if someone was maybe where I had been bringing my own business I was able to offer my support for them. Like I've been where you've been it's totally fine. You have all this, you know confirmation that of what's possible and I just really appreciated that atmosphere. So it sounds like it was a very safe space for you. Yes very much. So so when you think about what was the biggest change you got out of taking the business accelerator, what was that? I think realizing that I didn't have to do everything all at once realizing that it was okay to ask for help with things that I was not good at home in that kind of spoke to some deeper things that you know you and I touched on and like our one-on-one sessions. It was a lot of just Revelation that I still continue to have and I just I appreciate that so much. So did you also get some private coaching with me? That's an option as part of the business accelerator. What was that? Like for you Christie, they were they were life-changing, you know each time. We'd have a choice. I mean I would have you you would you would patiently sit with me while I was kind of having some breakdowns. But then by the end of the session even though what I knew I needed to do was going to be hard for me just because it was wage meaning that would have to be outside my comfort zone. I still got them done. I still have like my breakdown moment. But again, I was in a safe space to allow that to happen. So I don't there's a lot of things I would change. Of accomplished if it hadn't been for those one-on-ones and to be fierce by break down what you mean? It's reaching a point of Confusion And yes having a breakthrough. Yes. Yes exactly off moment. Understandably, you know like when you're breaking the sound barrier, it's really it's really scary. But afterwards it's peace and quiet but not a lot of success as you look 6 months out. What changes do you expect pussy in your business as a result of participating in the live business accelerator? That's I've met my financial goals and I'm in the process of reassessing and am justing long short-term and long-term goals. I just give myself six months time to implement everything that I learned in the program Implement all the changes in with myself outside of my business and then have a better idea of how I want like the next four-and-half five years to look why would you recommend that other entrepreneurs and coaches sign up and participate in the next business accelerator? Yep. Because you will quite literally accelerate your results in a clearer and faster way you will save so much time. You will save you know, so much money meet the goal of your um, your Soul's purpose. And the reason why you're you're doing your your you have your business and why you're showing up for others just makes all of that infinitely easier. I want to personally invite you to join me live with the next business accelerator group. If you're in a start-up five-figure early six-figure. This program is designed to help you double your impact and your profits over the next six months. So to learn more go to conscious millionaire business accelerator again, that's conscious millionaire.com slash slash business accelerator. Thanks for listening to conscience million media podcast Radio Network the host producer note of the show distributors in broadcast media make no claims that the strategies information discussed and show results in profits may result in losses the opinions and advice from hosts. Guests. Do not until you read. Those are the owners staff management or broadcasters of the show illegal, accounting or financial or health device has made of the show you're advised to seek counsel not related to your business financial investments or other legal matters from license advisors always consult your physician licensed Health advisor prior to making any changes and you died exercise program and planning any health strategies or information discussed on the shows. Now information provided may be suitable for your situation as always take full responsibility for the decisions and actions you take in clubs responses that they create in your health.

JV Bruce Buddhist Monastery Bruce Langford Christine McKinley JV Crum Christy business owner jv instructor Tampa Lucy murder McKinley Jamie Tommy Breedlove Tony Robbins
Consistency and Mindfulness

Mindfulness Mode

20:26 min | Last month

Consistency and Mindfulness

"Mindfulness mode welcome to mindfulness mode. This is bruce langford. I'm so happy to be here to share another episode with you. Two days ago. I had a great conversation with one of my mindful tribe listeners. Satura and so today. Because i'm doing a solo episode. I thought well you know what. I'm just going to ask satori. I'm gonna ask her. What topic would be great for today's show and she said consistency and mindfulness. She said you know you've talked a lot about different aspects of mindfulness. But i've never heard this specific topic and she had told me that she listened to the last episode a week ago when i talked about nine ways to bring mindfulness into your life anyway. Store was eighteen years old and she set out for the united states. I don't know much about the journey. Or how challenging. It was but i know that she was venturing out alone. Not with a family or anything. I don't know her home country. I know it's overseas anyway. Now she's lived in the us for around three years. She had a good job but lost it. When the pandemic hit and now with a new job cetera is definitely one of those people with determination. Courage resilience i mean. I'm very impressed with with sitara and satori has been listening to mindfulness mode for a while now and says well. It's been so helpful. Mindfulness helping in her life. And i'm pleased to devote today's show to this important question by cetera and a question like i said is mindfulness and consistency. So how can we use consistency when it comes to mindfulness and as soon as i thought of this you know i thought about it for a few minutes. I meditated on consistency and mindfulness and five point popped into my head about consistency in mindfulness sosa. Torah here goes number one. Make habit your friend now. I've talked about habit before. But i'm going to talk about habit. specifically in reference to consistency. Because if you look at habit as a gift if you look at habit as a tool in your toolbox that can help you with mindfulness specifically then you will win with this because All you need to do is decide. What mindfulness activities you want to implement into your life make a list and write down your thoughts about what you want to achieve. And if you don't want to write them down you can just record them. Hit record on your phone and and have a little chat about this topic and then play it back and maybe chat a little more maybe dialogue a little more on a journal but The next aspect is promise yourself to do the chosen. Mindfulness activity that you decide on for one hundred days and go to google and search one hundred days from today's date and that will tell you your final destination date. I think that's a a tool. That's really kinda cool. Little tell you exactly what date you will have arrived at. And if you miss a day and you you forget or years for some reason. You just don't do that. Mindfulness activity promise yourself. You're going to start again and this will help you to make sure that you take this seriously so make sure you do it for one hundred days and when you arrive there at one hundred days after having done this mindfulness activity consistently four one hundred days. You may very well be like me. You may very well decide. Geez i just wanted to continue this activity because i've done this with the number of different things in my life and then have decided to continue the idea but if you don't that's fine too you'll feel amazing that you nailed the consistency of this This practice now. I've mentioned the book. The power of habit before the power of habit is by charles duhig and i read the whole book cover to cover and absolutely enjoyed it. It's a terrific book about habit. And i highly recommended. It's an easy read. Lots of interesting stories. And there's scientific evidence about how we know habit works in the brain and how you know it can help us could be a positive tool to help us move forward and will cause you to look at habit in a new and different way so number. Two number one was make habit. Your friend and number two is think it through. So you've journaled or you've recorded your thoughts. Now take some of your key ideas and meditate on them narrow those ideas down a few sentences and record them on your phone and and then just meditate without recording going. And you can loop it if you want to but just listen to that recording and treat it as a guided meditation narrow the ideas down like i said to a few sentences and this can be in the form of a traditional guided meditation and you can just meditate the way you always do or if you're new to meditation just sit in a straight back chair as my recommendation and make sure that you're sitting with your spine straight and that you're where your breathing and i like to close my eyes but it's not absolutely Totally important you might choose not to Some people aren't comfortable with that. But i like to close my eyes and just focus on my breathing. And then if you have that guided meditation playing and it's your own voice. It will mean even more to you. So the other alternative is used as a walking or a running meditation. Go out into nature go wherever you know you've got a spot available and just spend time and so if it's walking or running and you're playing this over and over and a loop then your sub conscious mind will process your thoughts and you need to listen for resulting feedback and in other words. What comes to mind during and following these meditation sessions. And if you're just noticing sort of quietly noticing you might experience quite a revelation. Now put your plans to paper and be definite what you decide to do. Maybe you've concluded that you'll you'll run for thirty minutes outside every day for one hundred days. Maybe that's your mindfulness activity. Maybe you will listen to yourself. Bullying thoughts and snapping elastic band on your wrist. Every time you notice one of those those negative thoughts maybe you'll notice every time you judge someone or you are critical. Even even in your thoughts of another person. Switch that criticism into a thought of something like i shine light and love on everyone and everything with compassion. So just flip it over and just think about a. What would my life be like. If every time. I saw another person or even just began to think a negative thought about something i switched it over and i simply thought i shine light and love on everyone and everything with compassion. I find that very rewarding to just think about that thought. Now i'm going to just mention here that Speaking of thinking it through which we've been talking about do you feel like there's some demon holding you back. Do you feel like some part of you is evil or some part of you is just plain bad. A lot of us have inner thoughts that are preventing us from being the person we wanna be. We know we want to set goals and accomplish certain things but for some unknown reason. We can't seem to make it happen. That's where i come in. I've worked fulltime and bullying prevention and worked specifically in mindfulness. the bullying prevention started. Way back a long time ago in two thousand and three and then. I worked specifically in mindfulness for while at least eight years the the transition was was kind of gradual at first. But i've coached people through these challenges. I'm a certified train hypnotist and used hypnotism to help you. Beat your inner bully to help. You quickly abolished these negative thoughts from your conscious and subconscious mind now. I am very busy with clients. But i'd like to add one more to my client list and if you email me before. Friday midnight march nineteenth. That's coming friday. March nineteenth twenty twenty. One i will jump onto a no obligation call with you to talk about your story and your needs and how i can help you and as a thank you for reaching out to me and listening to this podcast. I will create a personal guided meditation. Just for you for free. So email me. Bruce at mindfulness mode dot com and put. I believe in me in the subject line so just to repeat. Email me bruce. At mindfulness mode dot com with. I believe in me in the subject line. I can't wait to hear from you now back to the show so we've already gone over. Number one and number. Two number one was make habit. Your friend number two is think it through and number three believe in honesty. Keep your promises to yourself now. We usually think honesty is being truthful to other people like our family or others at work. We think of honesty is you know. Hey i i just wanna make sure i'm completely upfront and honest and i don't tell a lie to anyone but actually true honesty starts with yourself for of course it's important to be honest other people but i believe that true honesty starts with yourself so notice when you are being honest with yourself and when you're not noticing is the first step and once you do that you'll be able to make a change as to how judgmental you're being with other people and things being judgmental is a part of negativity and a lot of times. We don't even realize we're doing it now. I believe that A big part of mindfulness is being aware of our thoughts being aware of whether we're being judgmental of other people and other things and then you can do something about it so number four reward yourself know what. Mindfulness activity feeds your soul. Most and give yourself the pleasure of treating yourself for keeping your mindfulness activities. Consistent for instance. Maybe you just love taking long walks on the beach and and watching the water. Give yourself the gift of just dropping everything and going for a relaxing fulfiling walk on the beach. Just allow yourself to listen to. The sounds of the birds breeze the water. Allow your body and mind to drink in a mindful pleasure of this activity without listening to recordings or feeling like you have to accomplish something at the same time. Just reward yourself by doing something that you truly truly love to do so number five intentionally. Enjoy your mind break so if you are consistently doing mindful activity every day you'll get to the point where it won't be a struggler challenge to just go ahead and do that activity so make a mental note of how good it feels in your body and mind. Do not struggle with the decision. You just you just automatically do that thing. You are actually being rewarded for. Having made the decision to be consistent life becomes easier. You have control over this aspect of your life. Whatever it is you have the control that you are doing this. Mindful thing in your life and taking control of what you can control on your life is very very freeing as humans. We often become anxious over what we can't control and we forget to notice the things we are able to control it. Given moment in time we start dwelling on those things that oh my gosh. I can't control this. You know this happened that happened. I don't know how to deal with it. And you start focusing on these things. You can't control but put more focus on the things that you can control. So those are the five points. I wanted to make about consistency and mindfulness number. One make habit your friend number to think it through number three believe in honesty number four. Reward yourself and number five intentionally. Enjoy your mind break. So i thought it would be interesting to have a different perspective on consistency. So i talked to my son about this. Ben has has edited probably two hundred episodes of my podcast. So he's well-versed mindfulness and he's a university student living with us now of course doing doing university online which has to be the way with the pandemic but i asked him. I said tell me about what pops into your mind when i say consistency and mindfulness and he gave me some some thoughts on this and he said you know i feel like i'm a fairly naturally consistent person and he said that when he went to university he had to make a point of remembering to do certain things that were supposed to be consistent in his life like he had to try to remember to eat meals and sometimes he would forget and but he said the thing that i think is more important for me is adaptability. He said i have to consciously think of. How can i use. Mindfulness to be more adaptable to my environment. And i m paraphrasing paraphrasing there. But he talked about adaptability in how. That's something that for him is is a little bit more of a challenge so he is always looking to be a mindful person and to practice mindfulness but to be that person who is able to be adaptable and not have trouble with it. Not struggle with it. So i also also talked to my wife darlene and. She's an icu. A critical care nurse and so she talked about a consistency and she said you know. I really value consistency in my fellow. Nurses my fellow workers at work. Because it's much easier to work with another person if they are truly consistent and you start to know what to expect and it's much much easier. And she said for myself she said. I think i'm fairly consistent person but as a night shift worker she said you know sometimes others would see that as inconsistency because you know sometimes she has breakfast after. She wakes up at five o'clock in the afternoon or you know certain things in her life that would make it appear that she's inconsistent but she said actually she doesn't find that she struggles with consistency particularly but she doesn't worry about it. She doesn't worry about being consistent necessarily she just listens to. She listens to her body. She listens to what she needs. And i know that one thing that is very important for night shift worker is sleep and i've always noticed that darlene is very consistent with the importance of sleep. Like the idea looks. Sleep is important sleep. Sleep has to come ahead of certain other things in life and if you are working all night for twelve hours and then you're driving home while you have to be consistent in that you have to be very aware that you're alert and awake and then when you come home you know you wanna be consistent in that you know she. She spends a little bit of time before she goes to sleep. But then she's pretty consistent you know she. She tucks into bed and are are beautiful silver cat. Her name is silver and she's silvery gray. She comes and she wants to spend time on the bed with her. And this is all part of a consistent routine. So darlene has since he nailed in my opinion and So just some thoughts on consistency. I think consistency can be a beautiful gift. It can really help you to feel at ease in your life. It can give you can give you a sense of being grounded. It can give you a sense that you are have some kind of control. When maybe with inconsistency you wouldn't feel like you had that control. So i think feeling like you have a certain amount of control is very very important in with this pandemic of course a lot of us felt like we did not have control because you know there were certain things that we simply did not have control of. And that's certainly the case around. Where i live here in canada. You know. We've been on a lockdown for a long time and it's starting to ease up now but it's important very important to look at what you can control so thanks so much for listening to the episode and i look forward to having you listen again so take care. A mindful tried thanks for listening for subscribing for reviewing the show at apple podcasts. And thanks to erica. Flint's cascade hypnosis center for being are valued sponsor erica. We really appreciate you. And erica is terrific teacher of hypnosis and i know that because i am a graduate of her program now if you're a healer or a coach or counselor or someone who just loves helping people consider the powerful results that can be achieved with hypnosis. You can become a hypnotist. Just like i did. Contact the team over at cascade. Hypnosis center dot com and if you'd like to work with me and break through some of those mind blocks maybe lose weight. Maybe quit smoking. Maybe at something else. I would be so thrilled to work with you. Don't put it off do it right now. Send me an email. Bruce at mindfulness mode dot com. That's bruce at mindfulness mode dot com and we will get you on track and we will help you to move toward the goals that you always wanted to achieve so now take what. We've learned today to reach new heights. Calm focused and happiness stay in the mode.

bruce langford charles duhig sosa cetera us darlene google Bruce bruce Ben erica Flint's cascade hypnosis cente canada apple
Transform Broken Relationships Using Mindfulness

Mindfulness Mode

31:27 min | 2 months ago

Transform Broken Relationships Using Mindfulness

"Mindfulness mode a mindful tribe. Welcome to the show. This is bruce langford helping you reach new heights of calm focus and happiness. I'm starting the show today with a shout-out to monica monica's a listener. Who sent me the suggestion for today's show topic and as a result. I'm sending her mindfulness mode mug so monica. Thank you for being a listener and thanks for reaching out to me and all of you who are listening right now. You can reach out. Bruce at mindfulness mode dot com. So i'd love to hear from you. I'm sending her mindfulness mode mug. Inner email. She said this she said. Congratulations as your podcast is still strong and getting better every day. Here's an idea and her idea. Was this how to improve broken relationships with mindfulness or even hypnosis because of course she knows that i'm trained hypnotist and i help people with their relationships through hypnosis. Well she said it's been more than five years on and off and she's i'm not going to read every detail of her her ladder. Because i want it to remain confidential but She said that she ends up in upsetting arguments. And it's affecting relationships and she said she's talking about family and how they're having trouble agreeing and so on and she said we've tried to tolerate each other and she still wants to resolve the issues but they never get too far or too long and she said it makes me feel quite sad and i would love to resolve our issues forever anyway. That is a subject that i believe. Many of your listeners might benefit from so thanks again. Monica for sending me this suggestion. Because i agree. It's a great suggestion for a podcast episode. And today i m just sharing my thoughts and ideas about mindfulness and relationship so having interviewed over six hundred gas for mindfulness mode. I've certainly gained a lot of expertise. On how mindfulness can help. So many different aspects of your life. Now i don't consider myself a relationship expert specifically. I haven't studied relationships. I don't work specifically in that field. But i do know that. Mindfulness can make a huge difference when interacting with people and when building and growing relationships. I will tell you this this little aside that thinking way back i remember my first wife and our first marriage i remember. She became very very angry with me and and she took off her ring. She dropped it in my shirt pocket and then she proceeded to tell me no uncertain terms what i could do and where i could go and it was. It was not a pleasant time. it was not a. It's not a pleasant memory but thinking back. If i had known. Then what. I know now i would have handled the situation completely differently. I i would've well first of all all of the events that led up to that emotional explosion would have been different because i would have used my mindfulness skills to be better connected. So that so that she would know that. I had no intention of being schmuck. I had no intention of upsetting her that way and she probably had no intention of this happening either because we had a lot of very close times and we really connected did a lot of ways but in spite of that memory the marriage was mostly positive and there were very few disagreements. Now the reason the marriage ended was not. Because we didn't get along it was for other reasons. I've now been married over. Twenty years to an amazing woman in the mother of our son. She's she's just outstanding. She just recently had her birthday and it's been such a such a gift to have her in my life. I can't even express what a wonderful wonderful person she is. And how being with her just makes my life amazing. She's taught me a lot about relationships. And so is my son is matter of fact he you know you might not think that your children can teach you a lot about relationships and a lot about mindfulness but i have certainly learned a lot by just being a father and listening and noticing. Some of the things that he's he said to me. Mindfulness definitely has taken a central role in in relationships in my life. And what. I've learned about how to make them work. So thinking about this episode today seven really important points just popped into my head about how to use mindfulness to improve broken relationships how to transform your broken relationships through mindfulness and a lot of it has to do with. You know you can apply to any relationships that you are experiencing any relationships you have in your life. The first point that i wanna share with you is one that you've probably heard other places but i can't overemphasize it number one. Believe in you believe in who you are. You are enough. you are gift. You're meant to be here. You're a talented valuable individual and a lot of times. We forget that if we don't feel good about ourselves if we don't feel good about who we are as a person then relationships are going to suffer. Because you have to start with you you have to start with truly deep down in your inner core believing that you are a good person that you have great things to offer that you like. I said before you are enough and you know sometimes we have to really take that thought and meditate on it. Take that thought and think deeply about it you know. What kind of things am i truly thinking about myself. You know it's one thing to You know not accept others and to Be critical of others and You know just not be very Reasonable and fair at how you accept other individuals but if you listen to your inner dialogue you listen to your inner bully. I call it if you listen to that voice and you notice that you are saying things like oh i'm such an idiot or you go to do something and you say oh. I'm so stupid or you know if you notice your inner dialogue and you're hearing those kinds of messages then. It's really important that you go back to the drawing board and you start to think. Hey i need to believe in me in order for my life to improve in order for my relationships with other people to improve so just believe that you are here for a reason and you have extremely great things to share with the world so number one. Believe in you number two. Listen it's all about listen. Listen with your whole self a very long time ago. Somebody said to me something about you. Know you're really not a very good listener and that really hit me. I really you have that perception. That i'm not a very good listener while i want to change that and that was a like years ago and so i started to really notice how i was interacting with other people and trying to step up my listening game and being a podcast or an interviewing over six hundred guests. I can tell you. I really believe that. I've improved my listening skills. Because i think that's what makes you a good interviewer and good podcast or you know when you're doing interviews. I think it's vital to be a great listener. So listen with your whole self. Listen with your eyes in when you're talking to somebody be aware where are your eyes. Are you looking off to the side. A lot of the time are you are your is like all over the place you know. Listen to the other person and be aware of your eyes but all of your body language you know because you can be listening but sending another message to that person that maybe that messages saying oh. I've got other things on my mind. I've got other things. That are more important. And i'm thinking about right now and we send those messages through our body language. So when you're when you're listening to somebody listen and be prepared to repeat things back to them. So what you're saying is so what i hear from you is so all k- so what you just said that that resonates may be with me because and you know. Repeat some of the things back to them that they're saying and you can use some of these techniques and practice every day at improving your listening skills so do that with the people that you want to improve your relationships with. Make sure you're sending them the message that you really truly care that you really want to know what they're sharing with you because if they're sharing something with you they're telling you something it's important to them so that's number two. Listen with your whole self now. Speaking of listening. I want to tell you something. Just going to Tell you something about a speaking engagement. That i've got coming up and and it's about story and people are usually telling you things about their stories. Their stories are who they are. And what's happening. Well this is an event coming up called. Tell your stories. So i wanna ask you a question. Have you ever had the experience of watching a really powerful film and then being able to recall the story again and again even years later well. That's the power of story and it sort of gets into your very dna and it goes wherever you go. In fact stories are so powerful that they're remembered twenty two times more than facts and data alone. If you're in business the thing is if you tell your story. You're authentic genuine story. Well i can have a lasting impression on your potential clients. And here's the thing my friend elizabeth johnston. She's a literary prophet the university. While it's the university of concordia concordia university in montreal. She's an online teacher. She's a real expert when it comes to story as a matter of fact. She's known as the story expert and she's hosting a transformational online retreat. That will will on earth more stories from you. then you can imagine. During this three day event you'll learn about. Why story is important. You'll learn the power of story circles how to connect story to your business and so much more and it's not just a workshop where you'll get things done. It's also a retreat where you will recharge your creativity batteries so considered signing up for this this retreat. I think you'll really enjoy it. And it is online. So you don't have to fly there to montreal. It will help you in your business. Whatever year businesses. Here's the link to register for this event like i said it's called. Tell your story so. The link is mindfulness mode dot com slash. Tell your stories check it out. It's on march third to the fifth. So make room in your business to to do this training so that you can actually make a real difference with your potential clients and again. The link is mindfulness mode dot com slash. Tell your stories so back to these seven important points about transforming your relationships using mindfulness. The first one is believing you. You are enough. The second one is listen. Listen with your whole self and the third one is be a giver. Give one hundred percent and you know. I y- when i got married. I remember people saying well. You know it's important marriage. That gives fifty fifty. You know you each have to give fifty percent. I've heard that said. And after i was in the marriage for a while i thought you know that's not really quite accurate. In my opinion in my opinion you have to give one hundred percent yourself and then a bit more. You always have to feel like you're really giving all you possibly can and then a little bit more so in my mind and i think about it this way i think i wanna give one hundred percent one hundred ten percent. I wanna give a hundred and ten percent. Because that's how important my my marriages. That's how important my relationship is my wife. I really value it. I really want it to remain strong. And so i know that i need to be aware of how much i am giving and i think the other person has to give a lot to the other person has to give a hundred and ten percent. But that's not for me to judge. That's how i look at it. Because i think that if you really truly understand. Mindfulness i think you understand that. It's practicing not being critical of other people practicing. Not being judged men toll of other people just thinking about you know how can how can i live in the moment and be happy and content and i can if i focus on the moment but i think giving is what feeds us all. Have you ever noticed that if you're going through a time in your life where you sort of down or your discourage things aren't going that great. If you do something for someone else it just perks you up. You feel so much better. It's just an awesome feeling and a lot of times you know. It's not about other people knowing what you've done for that person it's not about doing something for somebody and then going on social media and saying well by the way you know. I went to the soup kitchen today. And i did some work there. Whatever no it's within you within you to understand that being a giver is what feeds us. And that's what what. I truly believe i think if you have that mindset that giving mindset then it will help you to be better in your relationships so number four is about forgiveness and forgiveness is a huge topic but the bottom line is if you're not able to forgive people for things you probably are not able to forgive yourself for some of the things you've done in life and if you are not able to forgive yourself that goes back to that first point i made about believing in you and loving yourself and and so on so you must i think star till work unforgiveness and forgiveness is something that you can work on. You know for a long time but forgiveness is very important in life and it's important with relationships. And i think we traditionally think forgiving is for the other person it's for the benefit of the other person and as i learned more and more boat forgiveness. I don't think that way anymore. Believe that forgiveness will help me. If i truly one hundred percent honestly forgive the other then that is me giving myself a gift i have let go of something and letting go is one of the things that can really help us in our life. Learning how to let go of the things that are baggage or the things that are bothering us but the big question is about. How do you let go. Well you let go by forgiving. So if you're able to forgive others then consider how you can forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for things that you're holding onto so i think forgiveness is huge number five view others with compassion. View others with compassion. And that's one of my mantras is thinking of everyone and everything with compassion. I see everyone and everything with compassion. And if i practiced doing that. I feel so much better about life. I feel so much better about situations. I feel so much better. I mean even the little things. Like i was running yesterday because i i run an hour. A day and I was running in and somebody had parked car right where it shouldn't have been right across the sidewalk so i needed to go across the street because that car was blocking no way and my i i i noticed in my mind. My first reaction was a little bit of anger little bit of cadillac Get your car while your car right there. Why did you park right in the way so So people couldn't use a sidewalk. And then i thought you know how about showing little compassion showing a little compassion. I don't know who that person is. Why they park there. I don't know their story. It could be anything. That story could be anything. It's not for me to be critical of that person. And if i am it brings a little. Anger brings in a little negatively. It brings in just some feelings that aren't positive and and so because i've been really working on this. I immediately thought you know what. I'm just going to think of that person in that car with compassion which is just flipping the whole thing. So that's just a example though that's number five view. View others view people with compassion. Number six is about honesty. And i think honesty is a huge topic as well. I think that honesty actually starts with ourselves. But i know that in my life a lot of times. I've thought you know. Honesty is so important when when we had our son. I wanted to teach him about honesty. I thought honesty is an attribute that i think is very important to learn early on so i wanted him to learn about honesty but back then i think. I thought more about honesty as honesty honesty. You know outwardly. Am i being honest with other people. But in fact and i think that's very true very important to be honest with other people but in fact i i started realized that being honest with myself is where it all starts. Am i able to make a commitment to myself and keep it. can i say to myself Like it could be something very simple like. I am going to practice the piano for thirty minutes today. I'm making that commitment this morning and then things happen and get busy doing this. And that and and You know recording my podcast or doing whatever and then the end of the day comes in. I didn't do that. I didn't keep that commitment well to me. That's related to honesty self honesty and i think once you start to understand that that you you need to value the commitments you make to yourself and if you make a commitment to yourself and your promise yourself something stick to it and beyond that way and then be honest with others so if you say something to other people just check in your mind. Is that really honest. Am i being completely honest. Think honesty is quite an interesting topic to delve into. But i think honesty in relationships is very important and honesty with yourself will help your relationships to be even better and stronger and the last one is practice gratitude and i think gratitude is incredibly important and i think it if you practicing gratitude in your own life. I just think that your relationships will be stronger and your relationships will transform. And you know. Remind yourself that you're grateful for your life. A lot of people talk about having a gratitude journal. And i absolutely think that's very very good thing to do so. Just make a commitment to yourself every morning. When i wake up i will think of five things to be grateful for now. The thing is you have to do this in such a way that it's not kind of like surface. It's not just got to do my my got itunes and you sort of jot it down. I'm i'm grateful for my car. So i can drive to work. I'm grateful for my wife. And yes those things can be. You know things that you're truly grateful for but you have to have this feeling that. Hey you know. This is really important to my inner psyche. This is really important that i have this in my subconscious as well as my conscious. Mind that. I'm truly grateful for my life in so many ways and i think that will you know if you're listening to this podcast today. You probably have a lot to be grateful for. And i have really felt a lot of Feelings of empathy for those of you. Who are are living in places in the world right. Now where there are all these challenges of you know. power outages and water not being available and and some of the basic necessities of life not being available and weather that you just have never experienced her experienced very little oven. It's just completely throwing a monkey wrench into your life. I just feel for you. I really do absolutely but still think about what you have to be grateful for. Still think of that. Because i think practicing gratitude and making it a real real meaningful part of your life will improve your relationships so once again just to review those seven important points about how. Mindfulness can transform broken relationships number one believe in. You really truly believe that you are a gift. Believe in you number two. Listen listen with your whole self number. Three be a giver. Believe in the power of giving number four forgive understand that forgiveness is something that will be a gift to you. It will help you your life immensely as well as just. It's just an a very important very powerful aspect of your life to learn how to forgive number five view others with compassion. View others with compassion. Think of you know. How compassionate are you with someone you really truly love. Well then apply that to somebody that maybe you don't have those same feelings for you know and think about. How can i apply those same feelings and number six honesty. Be honest with others. Be honest with yourself when you make a commitment stick with it and be honest about all of those things that sometimes you may be trick yourself or you negotiate with yourself and maybe you've made a commitment and then you. You didn't keep that commitment. Is that really honest to do that. Number seven practice gratitude. I am so grateful that you are listening. I am i bruce lankford right here right now. I'm so grateful for my mindfulness mode listeners. For mindful tribe. I'm so grateful for you. I'm so grateful that i have this. Microphone here that. I can record this podcast and share some of the things that i believe in that. I've learned about mindfulness with you. That's part of my gratitude. And i can tell you if i had known these seven. Mindfulness tips about relationships. Way back when well my ex wife would never have dropped her ring in my shirt pocket because we wouldn't have gotten to that point and would have been very different but it's not too late for you to make a difference with your relationships and start practicing these tips every day so there are those tips for you monica. I hope it helps you. And i hope it helps you mindful tribe. Whoever you are so now take what we've learned today to reach new heights of calm. Focus and happiness. Oh and don't forget. I would love to have an opportunity to help you through hypnosis and you know you might be thinking. Oh hypnosis is something. I saw on the stage one time. And it's just kind of like bells and whistles to kind of create this sort of interesting thing in a in entertainment but no if your stock if you have been trying to lose weight or you've been trying to quit smoking or you can understand why you're not creating or you can't understand why you're stuck in your business. Well there are reasons for that and through hypnosis you can be helped and i would be so glad to be the person to work with you and help help you with that and i have a a beta program where i'm offering fifty percent off and so you know connect with me. Send me an email. Bruce at mindfulness mode dot com will jump in a call. We'll talk about how we can make this happen. And i can help you through hypnosis. Just like i have with my client. That i've just recently finished up with and he s so ecstatic His name is floyd. He is one of my mindful tribe listeners. So shout out to you floyd if you're listening. Thank you so much for your endorsement. I know that it's helped you so much and so grateful to have been able to work with you and mindful tribe. If you're kind of sitting on the fence thinking well maybe this could help me Well yeah reachout bruce. At mindfulness mode dot com. I'd love to hear from you so again. Like i said. Take what we've learned today to reach new heights of calm focused and happiness stay in the mode.

bruce langford monica monica elizabeth johnston university of concordia concor montreal monica Monica Bruce bruce lankford monica floyd bruce
Fit Healthy Grounded Women; Penelope Lane

Mindfulness Mode

36:38 min | 4 months ago

Fit Healthy Grounded Women; Penelope Lane

"Mindfulness mode are more mindful. Whilst you're exercising your tuning into your body in all the ways that mindfulness kind of allows you or a nabil's you to do reach new heights of calm focus and happiness your mindfulness mode with me. Your host and mindfulness life coach bruce langford. I'm here with a clinical psychologist mindful tribe. She's a personal trainer. She's a mindfulness teacher. She has over thirty years experience in our private psychology practice. she's exercise groups. She taught mindfulness and she focuses on helping women over the age of forty five to effectively integrate exercise. Mindfulness and self compassion into daily routines. And she's all about helping women be fit healthy and ground and that's why your website is fit healthy grounded. Women dot com. And i'm with vanilla fee lane penelope. Are you in mindfulness mode today. I guess i hello nice to meet you. It's so nice to meet you. So great to connect is evening for me. It's morning for you because you are in fremantle australia. What a beautiful place to be indeed. Yes yes gaining of summer. Yeah and it's the beginning of winter here so we have beautiful snow beautiful weather beautiful cold wonderful weather and you have beautiful warm weather where you are well penelope. What does mindfulness mean to you. Everything's so it is having it in my life. Maine's that i can not get so tied up with a things with conditioning with the things that has haven't had in the past been instrumental in defining who i who i who i thought i was. So mindfulness is changed. That kind of sense of who i am. And it's done that because it's integrated kind of into my body mind and heart really and so when thoughts come that troubling negative As we all say they just thoughts. And i and mindfulness really gives you those those tools and that that courage and huma sometimes to just kinda say whoa. I'm not gonna listen to you right now and equally important. That gets the main thing it's done for me is about emotions so pre mindfulness when there was an emotion. Wow i would really listen to that and get involved in it and it would really define may in that moment and probably for the next few days weeks months or so at. That doesn't happen so so the motion is there and an experience of it full stop. And that's penelope thirty years ago you had this great idea. Yeah i mean it was such an awesome idea. You decided that it would be so cool to combine meditation sessions with jim sessions and you thought. Wow this would be really cool but what happened at the time. Oh spit said I what is not said. Let's saddens hadn't happy. I had to very small children. Toby not i who now thirty two and thirty one. Because i'm not sixty two and they were very small so to get that launched Once i when. I did the business plan and talk to james. I actually realized what an impractical way so i made a decision What i thought was based on being there for my children which was eighty percent but there was a twenty percent of looking back of what i call crisis of confidence to actually do that. In the in the ninety s would have been a huge undertaking and it would have meant a lot of Promotion and convincing people that it was a good idea Particularly in western. Australia we are. The most isolated should capital city and that has advantages but also has disadvantages soy to launch. Something back then would have been really like. I'm pulling teeth and i decided i didn't want eighth. Fold make sense. I wanted to pay time with my kids yet. And i only remembered i'd actually forgotten it. Which is which is crazy. An apartment doing it myself. Of course until i finished the marathon or maybe a half marathon last year and it came to be in that kind of post. Euphoric kind of. Oh my gosh. What am i don. That's amazing and i remembered it and so since thin or the. It months on. I've now bringing together eat as ethical s an online course. Well that's fascinating that you ran a half marathon. Yeah so was that your first one. Had you been around runner before or tell us about that. So i've been around for probably fifteen years and and and a doctor friend of mine who had run. A number of half marathons Saying team on facebook. How wonderful each year. One last year he said I think i think it's your turn. I think you should do it so not wanting to do bucko that a coward or not looking like thought my my ego kind of popped up. Oh no i'm going to do this and i did. I took the training was the worst bit only a lot of early mornings really really hard hard mileage. It was amazing. I mean it was just you know it's one of those things that once you've done it. Wow wow what am i capable of. You know if i can do that. What am i capable yet. So so is that one of the most courageous things you've ever done in your life. How the fishing that came to mind the is having children took a lot of courage yet. I think that that was the may the mice and still is you know. I mean they're independent. But the gashi night. I don't know whether it's this or whatever it is but it's just gosh they just they still. It's wonderful but they still need that. Real emotional kind of presence and connection and it's and it's wonderful But the courage to to remind oneself of walking about this to remind oneself about being mindfully president with your children when they're making decision that you not. Oh i'm not really good or k. Have that mindful presence to just kinda listen and be rather than doing a mom thing of advice that takes so much like running a half a half marathon. What have you learned from your children about mindfulness. Patience acceptance not being judgmental allowing them to evolve as they wanting to evolve but also it gives you that strength all my children have given me that strength to continue the practice. Which sometimes as i'm sure you depreciate bruce is sometimes it just happens and other times. It's something that you need to kind of really kind of plan and slotting depending on what's happening in your life. And so they've taught me that The persistence of that is really really important. So what you did do is you. Start a private psychology practice. Did that take a lot of courage. And what was that like getting not going and and making it successful. That's an interesting question. Because at the time that i did so what we talking about the late eighties so it was when my son was one or two. I specialized in an area which was sexual therapy i. I'm not in that area anymore. But so is my first. Practice and first clients were in that area areas. So general. Kind of sexual dysfunction males and females couples and There was only one other lady at the time in perth. Who was who is doing similar. And her clientele were I'm homosexual population. So i was a targeting a very different population and i was very busy and i didn't actually have to do very much marketing. I didn't need to do the normal. Networking i just kind of advertised in local papers and which was like oh piper papers back then pre pre the internet and i think it was just starting in but so it can't just kind of kicked off and then. Mindfulness came into the equation. When i went to have my own therapy and always kind of lucky enough fortunate enough to find a therapist who was heavily into meditation and he was Thirty years old. He's now in his nineties and sco going and he he gave me a handout Which i didn't have in my university aiding and it was a very basic handout and basically what it was saying was the essence of just watching your emotions when you have an emotion just watch it and allow to have its own journey through you in a sense and move out into the eighth aware where really wants to go. It doesn't wanna hang around inside you. It wants to go into the eighth and so that was mind blowing because having a very traditional clinical psychology. Master's degree was very much about cognitive behavioral therapy and and in those times catharsis and and all about kind of in a way kinda squashing and trying to control emotion so this tiny land with a few paragraphs changed one of the things that's changed my life because within their it was about and mindfulness can help you learn to change that relationship with emotion in the way that it was describing and so from there. He kind of continue to help me with that. And you know it's one thing to raise raid something but then the mind will come in about excuses and how hot. They not can't do this. And i should be really feeling this and doing something about this. So so my therapist helped me evolve with that. Yeah and so now you have something called the fit tone flex system. Can you tell us about the of the time. Flex system is like the flagship program of my business name on my business which is fit healthy grounded women and it's a twelve week online course and online due to the nature what we're going through at the moment With my kind of end in sight really so it's an online course and it involves some video education about a exercise and about mine about so compassion and also some videos and audio platforms to help women. Those that are having exercise before those that have an exercise program and establish an exercise program and to bring in mindfulness and self compassion to the actual experience of exercise. And the reasons that i'm doing that is that if you are more mindful whilst you're exercising your choosing into your body in all the ways that mindfulness kind of allows you or a nabil's you to do so you're noticing your muscles you noticing where that proprio section you noticing your body is in space and time and so what that does it kind of. It just enhances the overall experience. It deals with those distractions on lock. This isn't working too hard. It deals with those thought distractions. It allows you to have more motivation. Because you're fully engaged with the process. And i'm i'm more of an enjoyment and satisfaction and it helps reduce injuries and also soreness and then on top of that the compassion. So that's all about treating yourself well whilst you're exercising whilst you're living your life so any kind of doubts any comparing oneself to which is a huge thing in motivation for exercise. My program helps. The women changed the language around what they signed to themselves so rather than treating themselves as a an enemy almost some times they enjoy this capacity to treat themselves like a good friend so so in this program you would see videos do people who signed up. Also get to talk to you. Are there also sessions where you're actually connecting like zoom or something. That's that i thank you for us because that's really really important. So the Three Our one on one sessions with may via zoom and. That's the beginning of the session in the middle of the session and then the end. There's also a weekly Question and answer to our question and answer so that's in a group kind of situation with me on zoom and we also have a private facebook group and so we're launching that Today really and that's For women to connect with me and also to connect with other women said any questions ongoing Then they can connect with me and the other women in the group and i would assume that facebook group is for people that have signed up for the courses that right it's kind of making it exclusive and private which is important because if you short hair you know Which sometimes very personal things about how you going with this particular. The program line is. It's really important that you just people in day at that understanding and can offer support here. That are going to be helpful yet. Yeah so penelope what makes your course different and so much better than some of the other courses that are out there. The main difference as i can see is that it's the the the aca trilogy of of of techniques of tools that the exercise mindfulness and self compassion. So there is a plethora all courses in h of those three modalities already and there are some courses where people can do exercise and is committed meditation. But it's not brought together so for example. Some of the courses are do this exercise routine and then they given a link to an external course or external person who teaches meditation. So there isn't a sense of bringing it together whilst you're exercising so so whilst you're exercising on are they bringing mindfulness than going away and then doing a meditation or mindfulness practice afterwards. How it comes together. I've got a. I call it. The beer message board meinhard formula. And what that is. It's the culmination of my thirty two years of experience as a psychologist tate. Mindfulness saints you at a person trying to but also my mic experience because i've been overweight and unfit and all that kind of stuff in my thirties. So so all that experience is brought together in what. I think. This is amazing. You know thirty minute audio. And i think twelve of twenty four of those twenty four of those during the twelve week program and it's kind of like bringing together the mindfulness and self compassion whilst whilst the ladies rick sizing so it's the way that all kind of comes together so i kind of took it. It's talking. i taught them through how they can bring the mindfulness into the experience of exercise. And how they could bring the self compassion. So it's not just all about learning it in a theoretical way the b. m. h. formula audio. I brings that together for them in a practical way. Hey bruce here. I'm interrupting briefly mindful. Try i'm talking to you if you've been trying to lose weight or quit smoking. Maybe you've just worked and worked and worked on it. Maybe you're feeling it's hopeless and you're discouraged well. You might've even tried so many times to make these changes that you're just feeling defeated. Well i am now trained and qualified in hypnosis. And i use mindfulness combined with hypnosis to help you reach your goal. I'm starting a beta test program and the first three people to email me. We'll have the opportunity to participate in this beta program. And you'll not only reach your goals but you'll get one on one help from me for fifty percents off. I've lost thirty five pounds myself since january with the help of hypnosis and it feels like a miracle i can barely believe how much my thinking has changed and this is why. I'm so passionate about it because it's made a huge difference for me and if hypnosis has worked so well for me it can work for you to sign up for the beta test. Get fifty percent off the price of the program and a guarantee to go with it. So email me bruce. At mindfulness mode dot com. And we'll get on a free forty five minute call to answer all your questions. Just put beta test in the subject. Line and i look forward to talking to you and now back to the show. We'll talk about amazing. You said the word amazing. But i also know that. It's amazing to me that you ran a half marathon just not even two years ago. So after you were new sixties you ran a half marathon. Tell us about that. How how did that go for you. And what made you decide to do it. That is intriguing. I mean the main reason is that something that i've always wanted to do what always wanted to run a marathon. A doctor friend of mine said he. He me if i'm wrong. It's a heck of her private medical ensure here and each year i wrote will pop from this year. They didn't of course but they arrive this half marathon. And he's done it for a number of years and we were talking just congratulating by facebook. How wonderful it is and and then he just said to me. I think you should do it. What about all this encouragement. I had i encourage you and you get out there and do it so great. I will good for you. So i did it. Yeah how long did it take you to practice for this to prepare for it so three months three months and each morning doing some Ah training and then. But i hadn't actually ever run the the twenty two kilometers. I hadn't hadn't rama the twenty two kilometers up until the actual morning. I had got us virus fifteen so she could imagine. The last four kilometers wasn't grind. But what kept me going was. There's the three zero five five. K twelve twenty two k. So the twelve ks started after us but they actually caught up with us obviously towards the end and they will wonderful. They could see that. I was doing the half marathon and they could say that i had gray hair and all the rest are struggling and i will wonderful. They just said come on. Come on you can do it. You can do it and you know as they say in the classics. They got me over the finish line. I got myself over the finish line but they helped sure well. It's always great to be inspired by other people. that's for sure. Yeah so tell us about your day to day routine now. What does it look like. Do you still run in the mornings. What do you do when you get up. So i get up very early. I get up at three thirty. Believe it or not. I go to bed at seven thirty right and i go for a jog on about four mornings an income home and have some coffee and meditate. Do my mindfulness practice. And then i get on with the diet so that might be around. Six o'clock i get on with the day. Emails and oleck star name decided what i need to do for the costs that day and then i've got A a very small gym said of at because resistance training strength training and particularly as you get older is really really important. Was it important for all of us but particularly for authorities. So i do a resistance training program of about half an hour twice a week. Well you've you've worked with people for a long time you've helped with exercise with your personal training and mindfulness. Can you tell us a story about someone you've helped. And you've made a big difference in their Experience in life are can actually talk about my sister because she she. Someone who pooh-poohed concern that word i'm she undervalued mindfulness and understood that been beneficial for may. But she's not she said what would say something like. It's not for me when i decided to do. The course. i did actually set up a gym and the week that we be locked down so lockdown with covid so she can imagine hasn't actually taken off so i decided anyway to run group who wanted to experience it in a group format argos i. I need rounded an individually before and so she volunteered and my sister said after the It was a six week program and she commented that had been one of the most valuable things in her life. She honestly said. I honestly didn't think that it would help me She's has chronic anxiety and so she said even though she has the experience of anxiety she's now able to call it the anxiety and now we know what that means but for her. That was a huge change. So it wasn't. My anxiety wasn't mine mental health problems. It was the experience of the city and the her to say that said to me that she really understood that she'd changed the relationship with the experience. Close things and also integrating the mindfulness and self compassion into her exercise which is walking her dog when she notices negative thoughts about. I'm going to go home now or negative thoughts about Sell for the children or whatever she was able to kind of just sell. That's just a thought she. I'm going to let that guy and the same with emotion so was self compassion Of course there was a lot of negative talk there which often goes hand in hand with anxiety and she was able to Kind nip that in the bud and and say something kind in in in instead an offer herself as reported touch which is part of compassion. Do you live near the ocean. I'm wondering if water plays a role in your mindfulness. I'll take my dog for a walk every day down to the beach and we have adult. Neither don't don't be josh. you have don't beaches. And i'm and they deflate bitch and so we go down and she's a small dog so we don't go for a huge long walk and the bidding timid by the the big dogs We just do a little bit of Ronnie walkie thing alongs things and go back up. We just we just walk. Hindsight needs to get into college. It's fantastic. does she like to swim. No that sounds like you have a lot of fun when you down to the beach. Yes the beaches are wonderful place And i feel very blessed that each day. I can go down to the beach with my dog and i can watch other people with their dogs and the towns You know the feeling of the sand in your fate The sense of presence in case you stand on someone else's dogs business so there's lot also pitched -tunities to be mindful. There must be. It sounds amazing. i always ask you questionable bullying. Do you have a story that you can share with us about bullying where mindfulness would have made a difference Yes i have a personal story and also. My son was bullied significantly at armory school. Is there a particular one that you have a preference and sharing whichever one feels right for you to share at this point. I'll share my own story. So i was bullied in primary school. I mentioned before there was fat. And i was Fat and i had pimples and my surname Back then was boil so was penny boil and so you can imagine the tasting was around banks fat and also about having boil so Start having pimple so called oil face fat bull in a horrible horrible And and i don't know whether that was the cause of the died then. Are fused lighted developed anorexia which is very very common passion. I was very shy very Believe it or not very shine very with withdrawn back then and this is nothing. Mindfulness has done it. Some really helped my self confidence. And if i if i had mindfulness thin i was aware back then of what. We call the observer. I knew then that that that was an essence part of me. That was observing. What i was doing. But i didn't know what i didn't know what to do that. I just knew that that was there. But if i could kind of. If i knew what i had experienced Over the years and had calculated and brought it back to that time. I'd imagine that. I wouldn't have developed anorexia in the sense that i would have been able to control My mind control but relate to my emotions and thoughts in a different way rather than using the Repression of food To have that control over live and have that emotion control. I think mind from his would have helped greatly and it would have helped my self esteem to it would have given me a sense that About who. I actually am as the observer as a witness and not be so engaged in the bullying. Not being so engaged. How my body because of the bodine. Yeah penelope wrote a book. What would the central theme of that book be. The first thing that comes to mind the importance of learning to value yourself importance of learning to like yourself adequate friend yet. Because it's it. It underpins that that relationship we have with ourselves it underpins so much of how we relate to ourselves and how we relate to other people it's it's it's so crucial and unfortunately In the way about conditioning. And i i think i think it's changing but certainly even though i'm in my sixties i didn't. We didn't have that experience of doing aso's it wasn't something that was valued it was showing off or it was being self centered or self pitching or too much. They'll focused It was all about being the others. And i think that's how the huge detrimental effect on women and men so in. Answer to your question. Bruce it would be valuing yourself. Yep do you think. Being grounded helps to kind of make you feel valued as well. So grounded is kind of encapsulating. Would that takes in. Mindfulness and takes himself compassion. So when i when i conceived of the word grounded in my endeavors towards helping women become Fit healthy and grounded. Grounded seem to be kind of the the would that had the essence of that sets being grounded in mental clarity and common being grounded in. Wow here i am in this moment. And i am a k in this moment it. That's what it kind of kind of feels to me and sounds to me. I know you work mostly with women over forty five. Have you ever worked with men. I love what with me and i guess it's you know to be honest. It's a marketing thing really. Because i hadn't actually had many men in the past interested in coming along to the private citizens that i used to run with with a with the course kind of like as it is now So i decided to with consultation from my teaches to To promote the cause or to to attract women and then just kind of see how that goes yet it can. It can more to be available for for everybody really. Yep right right. Well penelope as we move forward in the interview i want to ask you five. Quick answer questions so just thirty second answers. Perfect the first one is this who is one person who has been a powerful. Mindfulness influence in your life. That would be the therapist that i mentioned individual Okay and number two. You've talked about this a bit already. But tell us about your emotions and mindfulness and how you've changed in how you deal with your emotions now when i feel something i Today's anxiety. Or the sadness of this anger and this kind of like a buffering thing not a bad internet lottery thinks buffalo abound almost Created vile and there. But i'm not engaged yet. Tell us how breathing is part of your mindfulness practice. The breathing is my ankles. Breathing is the the mindful Process that i pay pay attention to and Whilst on out back in my life. I noticed that i'm i'm in my head and this also thought i also nice that i'm holding my breath usually and so they need. They used the a depressed. Bring myself back ground to the to the to the prisonment beautiful and are there any books. You could recommend that are related to mindfulness. I is the last one that i read on. Send really helpful Caroline welsh erm the gift of presence. i think she's the pot off daniel siegel and they run the minds. The mind site institute um so the gift of presence it was out early this year and it's Mindfulness practices all women So five against women and she talks about is a bit like kind of modernizing the pillars of mindfulness practice so she talks about a presence Pivoting which is being able to deal with challenge. What's the other one Pasting are having that. Consonants of life is a journey rather than the distant destination. And and so it's having values and purpose and that's very big part of the course that i his is helping women understand why they doing things not to lose weight or it's about That that's something that they would like to change. But if that's yanni focus. It's not gonna work very well but if you can tap into your crystal sense of value why it's important to be healthy then Successive much more forthcoming last question. Can you share an app. which can help with mindfulness. Its base ahead space. Yeah that's a great app. Yeah i started with my therapist and When when andy launch that. I think two thousand four and five walls I've listened to it. Ever since it get i to kind of dip into it. Because he he's more wolfing it as we speak And i just think wonderful. And i recommend it to my clients. I saw you in a video on youtube. And i thought you just had great presence on that youtube video and then i learned that you had hesitated from making videos because you were kind of next about appearing in front of the camera. I think you should make more videos. Have you ever thought of that will. Yeah i'm doing that right now. you are. Yeah that's close as well said because some It's an online course. There's lots of lots of me on video. I'm sorry inside. Don't be sorry to say. I think you're very good in front of the camera. That's very very con- well that's because of mindfulness. I'm sure it is wouldn't have even thought about doing this a even five year old. Gosh even two years ago may in front of the camera whereas now i actually quite quite enjoy it. So that's a great job by great medium. I think it is well. I think people at sign up for your course are very fortunate. Because you've got a great way of connecting with people and you connected with me by sending me a a message on email and then i check out online. I saw you on a video. And i thought wow this lady who does have a great way of connecting and. I'm sure you do that on your flagship program. The fit tone flex system and of course it's at fit healthy grounded women dot com and i just want to ask you as we wrap up. Do you have any final words of advice for people just wanting to be more grounded and you know they're just looking around for thoughts and ideas assisting canton is went when you're moving around so when your physically going through your world there's lots of opportunities to to to be mindful of the experience of so that i'm not talking necessarily about exercise here but this moving walking so when you're walking this much happening kind of inside you and around you and so many opportunities to ask bring this conscious of. How do i know i'm walking. How do i know i'm running. What's happening in my body. What's happening Outside my body gives me this sense. Non moving through time and space. Yep asking that question. How do i noise that on. In this moment yeah well. Thank you for your advice. Thank you for being on mindfulness mode and have a terrific rest of your day. Penelope thank you so much. I really enjoyed it. Thank you combine now. I see mindful tribe. Thanks for listening for subscribing and for reviewing the show and for telling your friends about mindfulness mode. Thanks also to erica. Flint's cascade hypnosis center for being are valued sponsor. Erica is a terrific teacher. Hypnosis and i know that because i am a graduate of our program now if you're a healer a coach a therapist a counselor or just someone who loves helping people you might want to consider the powerful results that can be achieved with hypnosis. You can learn how to do it. Contact the team over at cascade. Hypnosis center dot com and take what we've learned today to reach new heights of calm focus and happiness stay in the mode.

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