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TRR237 01 07 19 - Golden Globes - Bobbleheads - Theme Parks - Eagles
Hey, they're Ralph garment here, and thanks so much checking out this free Monday edition of the Ralph report if you like what you hear do me a favor. Subscribe to the Ralph report, so we can put some fun in your ears five days a week. We're not just here on Mondays Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and Friday as well. And you can listen for as little as three dollars a month. So subscribed today. So, you know, miss out on any of the fun. Go to patriotdepot dot com slash the Roth report and sign up. Welcome to the Ralph report with Ralph Garmon. Well, Hello there boys and girls welcomes back to a brand-new week of the Ralph report it's a Monday. I know nothing I can do about that. But we can try to make your Monday a little bit better. With a brand new episode of the row report for a Monday, January seventh. I'm your old podcast bowel. Ralph garments sitting mere feet. Hell I'd say inches inches away. From me here in the bat cave is your vice host, Mr. Eddie pen everybody and before we get the show started. I do want to say, well, let me just play this. Brides. Oh. Once again underdogs in the playoffs and yet through the magic of God's will. Nick foles will big dig Nick and the rest of the vehicles Dover overcome slows expected to be a trouncing by the powerful. Chicago bears. Wasn't it? It's supposed to be trouncing. They were favored by a touchdown. The bears were still people think it's pretty even. The unexpected. I wasn't shocked playoff run continues. And it's good. It's good to be alive. Mixed monday. A little bit easier. When you're wearing the midnight green as sign of victory, and what not gonna go on and on about it. But you're are you are already very played the song in its entirety. I know what look what let's fella to do for God's sakes soak it in. Let's last time. Let's see what's going on. First of all never mind. I was going to talk about that that cowboy Seahawks. What was just awful football? Isn't it? Once she aiding awful football. Yeah. But just terrible doesn't matter because the eagles are still flying. And that's that's unexpected joy on my part. Let's take a look at what's coming up on today's show. We will be hearing today for the first time in twenty nine thousand nine from Mr. banks Lee, he of course, is my power from attractions magazine. He's got the inside scoop on all the stuff that's going on with theme. Parks around the world. Some interesting updates especially over there in Anaheim, California. By the way, have you seen the aerial photos? I've had been to Disneyland last year of seen. You could see the stuff in the park if you're in the parking garage. You can kind of look over and see like the ads and stuff. Yeah. So you can kind of see what's happening. Have you seen the aerial photo of the millennium falcon have aided? I haven't. It's kind of nuts. I'm so excited to see an actual William falcon just parked there and summer Rae. When you went to summer and rumor has it June of twenty nine I'm so excited. Yes. Never be able to get in there. But I'm so excited talk about that with banks in just a moment. Also, I did want to reach out to the garment I felt so bad about this over the holidays. I got several emails from folks who said we really wanna buy some merchandise featuring that new image the one that won the merchant overcome edition. And I didn't realize here's the problem. When you're when you're a small mom and pop organization like the Ralph report is sometimes shit falls through the cracks as lug going on. You think you're you're solid. And then you turn out turns out someone has to give you the heads up. Hey, things aren't working the way they're supposed to. So apparently, the image did get loaded onto our T public site. Those are the folks who put all the merchandise together for us. However, it wasn't updated on the actual the Ralph report dot com sites lick on merchandise. A lot of people weren't seeing the new Ralph Sinatra's the old one is just the old one. So we have fixed that and if you like that image that from west that that. Won the competition and you wanted to get some merch. Now if you click on the merchandise tab at the top of the report dot com, it'll take your right to t- public, and you can get your stuff. So we fixed it for you. Speaking of you, guys, the garment, you know, this show is runs largely the fuel of this show is largely your input. Whether you Email me at Ralph the raff report dot com or depends at Eddie at the Ralph report dot com, or if you leave your voicemails on the Ralph report hotline, one eight three three. Rough struggled to get out. Joking here. That's the number to call. And today, we got some good ones. Let's hear from the Garm either online. Phone is ringing. The good is. On Friday show. I was talking about the fact that social media can be hard. We were talking about will Poulter young actor who was in the most recent episode of black mirror. Those getting a lot of attention. He was in the maze runner. He's backed off of Twitter because of the shit. He's been taken from people doesn't want to deal with it anymore. And I happen to mention on patriot dot com when you unsubscribe from a podcast like mine, you're able to fill out what they call an exit survey based you before why are you leaving the show because of that asshole whose names in the title is mostly the answer. Anyway, a lot of people reached out about that. And here was one phone call. Hi ralph. Hi, eddie. It's was here. I just heard the part of the show where you talked about those exit surveys, and it broke my fucking heart. I love the two of you so much a love Steve Ashton. I think the show is amazing. I've been a subscriber since the beginning, and there's been some hiccups and changes and. Otherwise, it's just been wonderful. And it breaks my heart that anyone would say anything horrible. So the two of you and to Steve I love him too. So I just wanna give big bubble bath subsea hugs to both of you. And Steve all three of you because you're awesome. And I love you guys and you make my day. Awesome. So fuck the haters, you guys will love you mean it by very very kind. Thanks for these suds e bubble bubbles thug. Although the idea of me and Pence Steve ask same bubble bath. Does not bring me any joy thankfully, Christmas card gover for next. Here's what I think. I need to do though. A lot of people said what did they say? What did they say what it is? I think maybe I need to rip off my buddy, Jimmy Kimmel and do like a mean tweets type. So this week that'd be interesting. Well, a break out some of the mean, exit surveys and read the horrible shit people wrote. I think we should take the power away from them. If you own it, right? Have you say it out loud? I remember when Kevin Smith, and I did a film called yoga hoosiers together. And we went to Sundance with it. And the trashing the we got from the critics Sundance. And then after the fact was so brutal that we did a special Hollywood Babylon where we just read the reviews, and we just rolled around in the mire that was the hatred threats. You gotta do that's what you gotta do. So I say we're going to read some of those exit surveys this week, and we're going to get it out of our system. And then we can all move forward. Hard to believe Eddie. This is the. The third show of twenty nineteen and we've been wrong bunch already. I I've I've known album, I don't even get to the straw conversation. Because we we'll stand by that statement. But on Friday show, it was braille day. It was national braille. And we threw around some facts about braille. And then we didn't even stop there. But to our credit when it came to braille we said, we didn't know whether it was is it, and he said, I don't know like that was the question we put out there and for once we didn't jump to any conclusions. We just left in hanging for those who didn't hear Friday show here is how it went. His braille universal for everyone who's blind or do they have it in different language? I don't know is it in different languages. Excellent. Question is an excellent question, and we just left it there. And in all fairness, we should have put the show on hall looked it up and and clarity held fast. Rawls I know there was a lot of holding. It turns out a lot of people knew more about it than we did. There was a ton of people who read doubt shot. Ed, braille is not a universal language there. Is braille for each individual language when you think about it accent that makes more sense than thinking. That braille is universal in my defense. I rarely think before I speak that is absolutely. I think obvious to everyone listens to this show. But I didn't know the answer either. I said, well, it doesn't make any sense. Because if you're reading Spanish, you would ins meant reading it in American again, I've dumped you down. I so we got a lot of people who volunteered. The information. Saying no dumb. Asses. Braille is not a universal language. In fact, it's not a language at all. It's just a tool to help people who are blind read in their native language, right? Or that may but good on us because we didn't stop. At braille. No, no, we we were dumb enough to to jump disabilities. We went from from vision impaired to hearing impaired. And he goes where we really sunk ourselves. Brea. Sign language is universal. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's it's because I ended with right? And then you feel compelled to agree with sign Languages University. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. It is he said stupidly. Well, I honestly thought sign language is universal. Did you really did? I I didn't even I thought it was based on thinking about it had I stopped to think about language, but you know, they everybody has different fr-, phrases and words for different meanings. Right, right. I mean, so it doesn't make any sense that American sign language, by the way is the name of it American sign language. I've known that was AM L. I wouldn't have made that statement. We got a bunch of phone calls. Hey, rows it Sam. I am so thirty I was listening to the row before I let you know ASL is not universal. It's American timing. Guage? There is a French sign language. Simon guage all over the world American sign language is the most common though, and it is usually the one that's read the most because we have the deck university gala debt in Washington DC. So just a heads up guys. Let him in it. So it's pretty common much like English as a common language, I guess around the world, but I did a little research. There's British sign languages. It's about three hundred different sign languages, even within countries. You'll have different dialects of sign language the way, you have different accents parts of the country. So yeah, yeah. It was not the proper response to eight Ed that are no. It's my bed because I again, I could've stopped the show. I could have I could've thrown it reverse left. The transmission there on the freeway, we could've put gone on hold and you found out the. You are driving. No the buck stops here in just the drunk passed. Right. Take full responsibility for what's going on speaking of driving and passengers let's not go any further before. I forget to talk about your new show the debut. Oh, yeah. Today. Actually, it's called drive. It's a premiered on YouTube. I'll tweet out a bunch of links and stuff I'll put a link on the page around pages. Well, it's a little mini mini web series. We're dropping a new episode every Monday from here until the NFL ury. There you go. So if you wanna watch your vice oh steady Pence act his ass off. You can see Dr D R I V is how it's L because it's sort of a it's a fake rideshare. Or try to different name for it. But it's a it's a little weird slow creep is a little dark. It's not your normal chuckles on a web series a little different range, man. That's a little differs. So thank you. No. Thank you. I don't know why I'm thanking. You're welcome. Again. You're driving driving that more conversation. By the way about something. We talked about on Thursday, which is how people watch their porn still talking about that. We I guess now that I'm getting all these phone calls. I shouldn't be surprised, but I was a little shocked by almost eighty percent of the survey respondents on porn hubs saying they watch their porn on their phone. It just it still seemed to meet not the ideal way to digest teams like the last resort way to watch porn. I would very wrong. Most people watch that way. A lot of people are very defensive about why they watched it that way. This young lady had something to say about it. Into your Friday show. And here you talk about why people watch porn on the phones. I watch porn on my phone because I watch it in bed before I'm about to go to sleep. So it seems like the easiest and most convenient way to watch it and about the guy that watches porn in the shower. You can get shower curtains that put your phone inland. Blake have pockets waterproof pocket. So he might wanna think about that. Thanks have a good one lobbyist minute site. All right to on this phone. Call number one is I can hear girls talk about how they watch own all day long. Anyway, you would just for the best hearing women talk about watching porn. It's just so awesome. As a guy is nothing you like better than here woman. Talk about how much she likes porn. That's so much fun. Secondly, we don't need to encourage this guy. I think he's already got his his system in place so much so. So you're gonna find this hard to believe, and this is the guy who called in. And it was an explicit detailed. Tried to explain to us how he watches porn phone in the shower curtain, it went on to intricate detail, and we still had questions while you'll be happy to know he called back to actually refine his shower time porn habits. So we could actually really understand what's going on. And it's so much worse than we imagine. We thought he was standing up wrapping the phone around the shower curtain. Oh, no, no, not standing up. Oh, Eddie, wait till you hear this guy actually digests born in the shower high row, I called the other days, and I just heard that you played my recording. And I was the I am the one that. Uses the watches point in the shower. Right. So to clarify, I I use your buds. So I only have one in one of your when you have a shower curtain, right? So I turn the shower on and lay down in the bathtub part. Yeah. Laser that. My my head is resting against the wall on the opposite end of the shower the spec, it's I pull the shower curtain, listen or the water doesn't hit the phone or my face. But my netters are being you know, washed away. So once my business is done everything goes right down the drain. I, you know, I do the Washington. And I'm I'm good for the rest of the evening. So said that is some clarification on the. Yeah. Yeah. So hope you're having a great year. So far, I am thanks to this. Well, I've got more information about this guy's masturbation habits than I do on my own. I have a visual. I did not want my head. So what he's doing to recap as he takes the shower curtain any pulls it between the shower and his upper torso. So it's kind of laying across his way sort of like if a woman having a C section has has a barrier between her head and what's happening down there. Right. Like a surgical curtain between his penis and his face. So he can watch the porn on the phone with the ear buds in relatively dry and the shower is just hitting the bottom half of his body. And he can pretend it's someone else's hand. Because he can't see what's happening on their lying down in the tub with the shower the whole thing and the legs up on the edge list on the top don't or fast back. And then we'll get more information about how this guy spanks it. And what's he Lou being with would you want us as? Has gone. Let it go. Eddie, sir. Thank you so much. You're explicit mental picture that you've painted for all of us about what you doing that. He has to have audio. And I think we all understand it now. And let's just let's just say call it a day one last phone call from the garment this young lady has a food related problem. Eddie, and she thought we could be of somehow doubt it I will be interested to hear our responses. Separately about the problem that she is presenting here with her boyfriend. Hey, Ralph any I need your help with food issue. And I think you guys are experts on this topic. Because at a you have weird eating habits and Ralph you at him know about it. So my boyfriend loves orange juice. It's his favorite drink. And he drinks it all the time. And the other day, I may brownies and he started eating them. And instead of being a Cup of milk. He got a Cup of orange juice, and he was drinking orange juice will eating the brownies. It was so gross. I can't believe it. I almost broke up with him right there because that's just disgusting. And I wanted to know what you think am Iran, or is he wrong because I think that was probably the grossest thing I've ever seen. Okay. Can you please? Let me know give me your opinion. Love you mean, it Ellen be with my brownies by Brown. Washing brownies down with orange just her describing it made my mouth water, but my teeth on edge, the concept of washing chocolate brownies down with orange juice and puts my mouth in gear. Yeah. I could not alone. You are not alone. That's not a combo. You don't wanna miss those? I know they have chocolate covered oranges. I understand that. And there's citrus with chocolate this fruit and chocolate combinations that exist in the world seems rough but a brownie washed down with arns is really rough. That sounds repulsive me I have a fairly wide range of tastes acceptance. No break up with him. That's that's really wrong. And I I don't blame him for loving our issues. That's fine. But there's some times where milk is called mills called for even. Yeah. I mean, if there's nothing else to drink maybe water just wash it down aren't use the worst. You seems to see a coke or something even before orange juice. Yeah. Weren't you? Yeah. No Honey, should've broken up with them as what we're saying. Absolutely. Right. So play him this. I was your ex as you're walking out the door just playing in his ear buds while he's lying down in the shower curtain between himself and his payments. I'm I'm guessing you too. All right couple. I don't know. Anyway, that's the calls at the Ralph aboard heartland. You can call me anytime. All right. Let's kick the week off by taking a look at the big counter here that hangs in the bat cave and look at what holidays are celebrated on this day, January seventh not all the holidays are good ones. I've ever. So we will be the arbiters of good holidays when it comes to what? Celebrated today we either will say it's a holiday. It will say it's a holiday. And are ruling is final. It's not. There's no debate. We are the holiday judges. It's a segment we call holiday or holiday, and you know over the holiday break. I played the original raw. Yes. John Cooperman holiday or holiday forgot about without the musical. Backing and a lot of people suggesting we need to reintroduce them. Do we I don't know. I'm thinking about maybe we'll do it tomorrow for now. Here's our intro to holiday or holiday. Please tell me what we celebrate rows. Then. All right. Today's first holiday is national. Thank god. It's Monday day. Wow. Why would you do that? I hate these days that try to take something. Really shitty. That's universally shitty. And we all know it is. And then like, oh, let's be ironic and celebrate it and give it a holiday now. That's not bullshit deal with your anger and just let it it's awful Mondays blow, and we know they blow and there's nothing we can do about it. And we all need to accept in a move on. Let's not try to target up by giving it a holiday, especially stealing one from Friday, by the way. Yeah. Thank god. It's Friday was the original now thank God. It's monday. It's supposed to be celebrated says think about all the good things that happened on Mondays what start off your week with energy Fouzy enthusiasm and excitement for all the things to come Neve work. Now you have to do all week. It's the worst. It's we've all had a good weekend. And now we have to do most of us have to do. What we'd rather not be doing? I'm lucky I get to do this. This is I don't mind doing this is fun. This is fun. I'm I am a lucky, man. My job is fun. But most people go to a job, they don't like or are have to deal with something. They don't want to deal with on a Monday morning, and it's hard unless just let it be hard. And we all accept the only thing about a Mondays there's only one of them, right? So. No. It's also I'm not gonna take it anymore day. That sounds like a month. That's more Monday. Right. But this is another bullshit holiday. It says arrived late for work by putting yourself. I what. When you're fired you can blame the I'm not gonna take it anymore day. People who are is this holiday spent some time buying yourself a present when you should be at the office or the factory don't open any letters that look suspiciously like bills, if you've always been cheerful and polite to people let people know how you really feel be grumpy and non-communicative all day. So I don't I don't understand the heart behind sponsored by like a collection agency like who nothing. Good can come from celebrating. That know what I'm saying responsibilities? It's also rock day. Wait, like, not the rock, not Iraq. Not do you smell. What he's cooking run that racket. Right. Not that kind of rocky. There is just rock day is then Iran, Iraq, celebrate rocks. Today's a good day when young children are encouraged to go out and discover their first pet rock. No, you can you. Can celebrate this day by painting and decorating the faces of rocks gathering together. Attractive pebbles and stones to make inexpensive and original pieces of jewelry, perhaps starchy foods wearing rocks. It's Honey, I got you this rock pendant. You can also spend your time building a rock garden. Some towns and villages around the world hold competitions on this day to find the best decorated rock garden outside that seems like you run out of things to celebrate. Once you look around and say, hey, let's celebrate these things that have been laying on the ground for millions of years. What ray? Wow. This is a shitty. Day. Now, we're getting some real holidays today national bobblehead day. Okay. I got a love bobbleheads. I owned a couple bobbleheads. I got a lot of Batman, Robin bump, are you? Do you do the bobblehead? I did not know this it celebrated on this day every year it the bobblehead is over one hundred and fifty years old. It is it. Yeah. Wow. During the seventeenth century figures of Buddha and other religious figures recalled temple Nodar 's and they were produced in Asia. So it was like the Buddha sitting there, you know, with his big belly and his head bouncing. I was introduced to bobbleheads through baseball baseball. The law was written heads bobblehead to me the first written reference to bobblehead is from a short story from eighteen forty two that references. Somebody's head. Looks like looked like a bobble head they didn't say bobble head. They said look like one of those dollars that you gave me a bobblehead one time. Did I know after how Hollywood Babylon know you got a bunch of crap. Leftover and you do me a Hans solo. You here you want that? And you just throw it. Oh, it's still it's still in my room. I well. That's a pretty nice thing. Then I appreciate it's a treasured possession through that me toss. It at me. Like here you want. This. Did you catch it? I did everybody wins the very first mass produced bobblehead in America was in the nineteen twenties. It was a New York Knicks basketball player bobblehead. So believe it or not the NBA was the first aid boards bobbehead before baseball. But you're right in the sixties, it kind of blew up major league baseball teamed up with the bobblehead in the sixties, and they started putting together a lot of different players which all have the same face, by the way, I was still any money, but like Mickey Mantle Roger mayors Willie Mays different uniforms and ever since then bobbleheads have been a collectible item. Now, I thought it was interesting. They national bobblehead hall of fame will be opening this year that's happening later in two thousand nineteen in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, it will house the world's largest collection of bobbleheads, including a hall of fame. Sexualize Ababba heads, you know, I heard one of the most popular and. Valuable bobble has our beetle bobbleheads really made a collection of four beetle bomb at the height of Beatlemania nineteen sixty four and apparently those are very valuable that'll be there. Anyway, if you're interested, then why wouldn't you be bobblehead hall dot com is the website? If you want to check it out for yourself. And if you plan a trip to Milwaukee, you can check out the Liz pop figures of like taken over the Indus love that to Funke. Go pop started as a bobblehead company. Oh it did. Yeah. In fact, I'm if I'm not mistaken, and I'm sure if I am you will correct me. We'll let you know army. But I believe funk, oh, first bobblehead was a recreation of the Bob's big boy bobblehead that will really back in the day. They did a replica of that. And they started selling them at big boy and did pretty well. And that was the birth of the funk coz the same as what those like those big round eyes. Or did they actually try to make like an actual looking? Bob's big boy. And then now pop seems to be this weird square head with these black. The pop is a is a different as. A an after right after thought that's a second line. Okay. But it was it looked just like the original God's boy bobblehead from the fifties or sixties, I guess so anyway. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. We're going to we're going to let that bobblehead day. Yeah. And you know, I always say the food related holidays for last because people love to wager on whether Eddie Pence will eat something or not and today is no different. Place your wages, please. As we celebrate national Tempera day national Tempera day. The delicious Japanese dish to seafood or vegetables that are battered and deep fried today's national Tempera day. No, more bets. No, more bets. Please Eddie Pence will you or will you not eat Tempera. Yes. Rowdy and becoming a three day today. Let's just fried food. Right. Yeah. But you just fry, but it's got that special batter on their title. Shrimp is good too. Good. Wow. Look at you will have you bet. Yes. Eddie Pence tempore. Congratulations. Oh, come by. Collect your winning groans up go to the cashier's cage regulations. There's a reason to celebrate a Monday, maybe the right after all thank God, it's Monday. And that is today's holidays or holidays Moreira. All right. Take a look at all the entertainment news with a segment. I call the show biz beat once again on Mondays we take a look at the box office receipts to see what people went to see in theaters over the weekend. And congratulations to aqua man for the third week in a row Opperman is the number one film in North America nearing one billion dollars globally. Crazy this weekend. Made an additional thirty million dollars at the box office keeping it at the top of the box office list. Number two was escape room that movie we talked about this week did very well. For it. Self made eighteen million dollars came in at number two. Mary Poppins returns was third with fifteen point seven million dollars. Then Spiderman into the spider verse made thirteen million dollars. That was good enough to make it number four Bumblebee at number five. The mule was six vice was number seven second act was eighth. Brow breaks, the internet was number nine. And Holmes and Watson came in at number ten with just three point four million dollars. I gotta tell you. I think people are getting a little nervous about we'll fail movies. Yeah. They spent a lot of money to make those movies. They're trying to recapture the magic in a by teaming up with Johnny Riley again. And last week I came out of Christmas last week. And it was number seven now dropped zero center tomatoes and climbed up seven percent. I have not seen it will. Fran. I think is very funny. Love this guys together. I probably will still see I saw me. Oh, did you see it? And there was there's legitimate funny moments legitimate like your worst thing say about account. I know, but then there's moments, but there's moments is like why do you do that realize Johnson Riley? If you haven't seen it go see standing Ali. Oh, yeah. About that mazing. He is so good at him and Coogan or so Steve Johnson Reilly starring the legend. Comedy team, laurel and hardy her good thing. I could watch them make a lower on hardy movie where they do actually do they play like like recreate a lorry boot. Yeah. I think it would be amazing. They so that's good to hear. Last night. Of course was the Golden Globes. I'm not a fan of the golden gloves. I think and I've said this before second only to the people's choice awards the Golden Globe, just bullshit. And here's why because it's well known it's well documented that you can buy yourself golden. And there's only think like fifty people who vote on this thing that's easy. The Hollywood Foreign Press association. So these are the people sent to cover Hollywood from different news outlets from all over the world. I think there's literally fifty sixties maybe seventy of them, and it's well documented that if you wine them and dine them and buy them gifts and take them out to dinner. If you schmooze them you can get the award. And what's the point in that? People just want the nomination, and it means something to the general public. Well, it's a great stalemate. Right. Slap it on the ad for your movie I've ever saying Golden Globe nominee or Golden Globe. And then it helps for Oskar. I would imagine. Yeah. Down the line. So I'm not a big fan of this. I know some people are we doing entertainment news show here. So I would be remiss if I didn't at least talk about who won last night. So here are last night's winters from the Golden Globes right now, keep in mind. This is just a recap of the major awards. They do have awards for both television and film, and I don't wanna go onto long, but the best performance by an actress in a television series musical or comedy that went to Rachel Brosnahan. For the marvelous MRs Mazel over there on Amazon best performance by an actor in television series, musical or comedy. Michael Douglas for the Kaminsky method. See I'm talking about best television series musical or comedy that went to the Kaminsky method from net flicks. Best performance by an actress and. A television series drama that went to Sandra oh for killing eve on BBC America. Best performance by an actor in a television series drama. Richard Madden for bodyguard best television series drama, went to the Americans over there on FX, the only supporting acting categories they have are for motion pictures, and that's for any motion picture, either drama comedy or musical best. Actress in a supporting role in any motion picture went to Regina king for if Beale street could talk best actor in supporting role in any motion picture MMA Herschel alley for green book best actor in a motion picture drama Rami Malik for his work as Freddie Mercury in bohemian, rhapsody, best actress and emotion picture drama, Glenn Close for the wife best motion picture drama bohemian rhapsody beat out star is born that was his prize best actress and emotion picture musical or comedy was Livia Coleman for the favourite best actor in motion picture musical or comedy Christian bale for vice can we see that best motion picture music? Comedy was the green book and then the category. I really cared about best motion picture animated that went to Spiderman into the spider verse, which I thought was pretty cool. So there you go those are your major awards from last night's Golden Globes. Speaking of the golden gloves. I didn't know this. But talk about where the money is. Did you know that if you're an actress was a nominee for the Golden Globes you can make somewhere in the neighborhood of two hundred thousand dollars just by walking on the red carpet? Really? Yes. Because the people who design clothes and handbags and make up they make deals with these actresses before the Golden Globe nominations or even announced they start to get an vibe on who's going to be nominated, and they will cut product endorsement deals with these actresses. So you can get fifty thousand dollars for wearing some jewelry. Another fifty thousand dollars for a certain clutch or handbag you're going to carry zainur for a gown might give you one hundred thousand dollars to wear their. Address and just by walking down a red carpet, you can make anywhere between fifty to two hundred thousand how do we get in the show business? Right. How do we become women in show business where popular win awards? Here's the thing. When they talked about it with the people who broker these deals they said like I mentioned they start negotiating before the nominations or even announced sometimes they'll take a bath. They'll think oh this person will be nominated. I'm art. But this deal has already check. And then sometimes on the other side, they do very well from themselves if somebody wins and their picture is everywhere and they're talking to every news outlet. And they said who were you wearing and they it's just great. But this end or someone is cheaper than the trying to shoot a commercial or something. About it's money. Well, spent way cheaper and gets more exposure. But I was blown away by that number two hundred grand just to show up at an award ceremony. Walked down the red carpet. Damn good living. Right there him. I guess guys. Don't really have that. We're suits. Yeah. Maybe make tuck steal anyone's spend in two hundred thousand dollars on you to wear a tux because most guys wearing like one of three designed either Tom Ford or Valentino, or I'm obviously showing my lack of knowledge when it comes to men's fashion rent my tux, down the street or Gregory's tux rental on magnolia. He's probably not on the list, but I was just blown away by that. Hey, Eddie, you'll be happy to hear the Cardi B an offset or back together. I know she's your favorite rapper cardigan backyard against her real name. Of course, she and her husband offset are back together. Again, you know, they split up over towards the end last year people were talking fuck shit, people talk and they're doing fuck shit. I want people to just keep doing fuck shea saying fuck shit showed up on stage. Remember, and she was all right during the concert would really kind of stay sure seemed fake. Well, turns out they're still they're still together. And somehow they managed to patch up their relationship to stay in the news guys to stay in their note dummies at Cardi was quoted as saying last year after their break up in quotes that she did miss his penis. So maybe that's why I got back. I mean, honestly entertainment has become professional wrestling it. You're absolutely all made up stories to stay relevant. Yes, you're at it's all entertainment has become we have crossed line politics, by the way, also everything is K Fave. Now. Everything is professional read. It's unbelievable. Maybe I should go back and listen to that special. You learn. Learn how to navigate through the world with a bit better. And here's somebody who's genuine. She's not K fade. Fehb? May what's K Faye began? It's a fake story line that you pretend his table, so baby fable. I maybe I don't know. I'm a wrestling fan. I don't know. I know what k- phase. But you don't know what it stands for? Okay. Fable? K K fame. It means not doing this. Again, I'm not answering the emails and not listening to the voicemails gonna put you on hold. We're gonna find out what k- fehb means. We'll be right back. Remain on the line. They Representative will assist you shortly. We're back, and we're not any smarter than women. We have some vague idea. Apparently, nobody really knows the true or origin of K fade. But they say it goes back to Carney days when they were trying to pull something over on the the slack jawed yokels who were there at the carnival like the bearded woman. They would use pig Latin pig Latin, and it was kind of a ache Fe K fehb kind of became a derivation of that. It's backwards pig. Latin ready to be some some bullshit. They would put on for the the suckers there at the carnival. That's where in fused in wrestling guy adopted by the rest of them used in wrestling. So there you go and now everywhere now, we know K fehb is life. That's our new shirt. Anyway, who's not K fade was how this whole thing. Started is a Dell love her she's a genuine person, and she's enormously talented and specially in music these days sound like the old man on his front lawn shaking his fist, but your kids today. I don't know real talent. But Adele, she's got the pipes and she can sell a song downs powerful. And she's one of my favorite artists. I'm not necessarily even fan of that kind of music, big ballads and stuff. But you'd have to be a fool not to recognize what a talent you another reason I like her she doesn't seem to be driven that much by the desperate need for love or the desperate need for money. Not that she is lacking for either or tension, right? She's not an attention, which blew me away. Because it looks like she hasn't come out and said it, but all indicators are that she is going to quit touring forever. Because she doesn't like it. How great is that? That's nice. The thing is like she her last tour, I believe she grossed one hundred eighty million dollars. Now, you don't get to keep all that's nothing to pay a lot of people. Maybe maybe only half of that. Oh, maybe she's down to like ninety million the end of that tour, you might have one or two shows a year going to survive. So obviously, she doesn't need the money. But a lot of people, by the way have made a lot of money on tours and the they're still out there grinding look at goddamn, Mick Jagger, for God's sakes. How desperate ver- tension? Is that old great white? So she said she hates it and she likes being home and she's got a kid and maybe more than one. I don't know she likes being at her house. And she said that she just doesn't want to do it and apply to residency in Vegas in a couple years and make trillion the way to go. If you have come to you. Anyway, she has dissolved her touring companies a company called remedy touring L L P that has been dissolved which is the indicator a lot of people are pointing to saying well looks like she won't be back on the road again. Yeah. Which is a bitch for Adele fans because I'm sure you'd love to see more live. Yeah. But she said she's still interested in recording records and things like that. So maybe he'll do that look Streisand. Did it for decades says she stopped touring and later in life. She went back out start doing selected shows a couple. Yeah. Couple of shows here in the air. It's not a tour. I I would imagine the grind of being on the road. And I've I've done it slightly. I did a they called a bus and truck tour of show called the real live Brady bunch back in the day. We traveled all over the country on literally on a tour bus, and we did the show every night in a different city and stuff like that. I was I was much younger. At least you're with people like as a comic I've been on the road for stretches of like three or four weeks at a time just by yourself at a car driving from city to city, I suppose it's different when you're at. Something you have a lot of travel with Davy Jones, the monkeys. That's cool. It was very fun. I'm travel with. No. And I guess a Dell travels really with no one other than handlers herself. She's on stage by herself. So I guess it's different energy. But it's also I think where you are in life, and I had a blast. 'cause I had nothing. I was renting a place. I was on the on a tour bus acting with a bunch of funny. People get loaded every night. That's amazing. That's fun. But I I guess if you've got a kid got a family, and you wanna stay at home and do that. When I got off there. One etiquette. I was like I don't want to this anymore. Yeah. And speaking of having a kid, Brian Dunkel woman is firing back to TMZ. Remember, the original Merican idol host. He was half of the host of the first season of American idol was Ryan Seacrest, and Brian Dunkel crest and Dunkel men quit at the end of the first season did equate I thought he was let go now the the perception was that he was fired but he walked away because he wanted to serious acting career. Oh, good move. Excellent choice on his mart move. Anyway. He's barking back at TMZ because they unearthed some documentation, he's going through a bitter custody battle in divorce right now, and they got a hold of legal paperwork, and his occupation on that paperwork is listed as Uber driver. He's driving an Uber. These days so TMZ outed him about that and kind of job shamed. Him much like that guy from the Cosby show. Remember as so dunk amend is firing back with the following tweet. I chose to stop doing stand up comedy and started driving Uber. So I could be there for my son as much as he needed after our life as we knew it was destroyed. He said manteca fed divorced real bad but much like you said having a kid changed his perspective. And especially in the middle of a divorce. You know, I guess if you're leaving the kid with your wife and your marriage is solid. It's okay to go off and do some dates and then come home. But if if you're only getting custody kit half the time, how can you? Afford to be gone have and in order to make money doing the road, unless you're like a huge name you have to be on the road forty weeks year. So Dunkel men now drives an Uber. And he said he's not embarrassed by there's nothing nothing wrong with it. He's doing it. So we can spend time with his son. He said print that TMZ, and he said separate tweet, and I make over a grand on a good week, motherfuckers. He said why TMZ shaming people working? I don't know. Screw them. Everybody in this business at one time or another usually the majority of their careers is doing something else to make a buck while they're trying to do the thing that they love anyone working to make money and pay their own way. Why would you shame that? That's ridiculous. How how do you start deciding what's good job and with? Yeah. Joe work is work at this point. I got nothing but love for Uber drivers. That's especially in this town driving for a living in Los Angeles. You couldn't pay me enough. So I'm no Dunkeld fan. I think he's a bit of fatuous. But by the way. Walkway from that gig. He had reason and every time you listened to him interviewed he's very full of himself. But at the same time, that's the last thing anyone should be shaming anyone for it. Because they got a job where legitimate job doing something. Yeah. All right. And lastly, my favorite entertainment story probably of the week. I'm guessing maybe the month. Familiar with xfinity xfinity. Comcast xfinity their cable company, as you know, massive cable company, and they have a brand new state of the art voice remote control, the xfinity, X, one voice remote. This is where we are. Now, you don't even need to pick up a remote and flip around anymore. You just talk into the remote. It does awfully Alexa ruined everybody. It does. And it's it's the science fiction time now Star Trek to talk into the computer computers answering you so this will do everything you want you just speak your commands to the cable box. You can fast forward. You can pause from rewind. You can ask tough questions of it. Hey, what's the song on that soundtrack? It'll tell you do the research for you. It'll scour cable guides for specific movies and TV shows. It is the most amazing adventure to hit television since color. They say really, however how it's got one. It's been program. Not accept dirty talk. You can't talk dirty to the remote. Because. It will not deal with that kind of talk. Mr. Oh my God. Because we're America. And we don't go in for that potty language. So we're going like fair night. Four fifty one. Territories has been a problem for folks. Searching for reruns of addicted. Take dick dick won't take take. Either complaining when they tried to find episodes of the Dick Van Dyke show. Remote response. Sorry. I cannot handle command with that type of language at responds to you. So if you're looking for Dick Van Dyke, your screw my God that made me laugh. That's amazing. Xfinity responded. We want to provide our customers with a best in class voice control experience that has also safe and appropriate for every member of the family. So that's the explanation as to why they won't let you talk dirty to your remote control. You can't watch anything, dick. I don't know. I don't know with Tracy Dick Van Dyke Moby, Dick Moby, Dick. I don't know fun with dick, and Jane, what's acceptable. And what's not? But it made me laugh some poor bastard gets his new xfinity they'll set up, and he so pleased, and he wants to click on over to meet TV or wherever Dick Van Dyke running Dyke Show. You can't do it, man. It's awesome. Today's celebrity birthdays, Lauren Cohan of the Walking Dead is thirty seven years old today singer, John drastic of five for fighting is fifty four five or fighting pretty good band. I believe they're Canadian. Why do I say shit? I don't know. I knew that you did that one. I did. That's all my falls on me. They may or may not be Canadian at five or fighting's a hockey term for some reason. I just assumed they were Canadian. What makes the most sense, you know, how the Canadians love their holiday love their hockey. Not got dammit. Hold. Please. Hold. We appreciate your business continue to hold. And we're back and sure enough he's American Elvis born and raised here in Los Angeles larger than life fighting though, it's hockey five for fighting. Maybe he's a kings fan turn out of me for thirty seconds. Here's the thing. You know, what I didn't do knows Canadian obviously because five for five hockey term. And then just go move. I didn't move on. At least I had the wherewithal to source myself. I check myself before I recognize the difference. He created a whole like meaning for five. Well, that's what it's for five for fighting is is it's obviously h the major penalty for fighting in hockey. And so you know, how to walk in my shoes for thirty seconds fun. Anyway, he's fifty four years old today. And they that song superman that was a big hit. Oh, yeah. We just last week talked about another band crash test sites. Slow. Sad songs are people writing out super sad isn't one read the comic, by the way, who has less problems superman super one these got one problem kryptonite right that he's pretty damn ses in pretty good shape. Anyway, here's five for fighting that great band out of Canada. Fly. Just to fun. More than some. Strain b he. Spare superman not easy to be. You doesn't problem? I'd be made for five minutes, superman speaking, superheroes. Jeremy Renner Hawkeye himself from the avengers roading. Now. Forty eight years old today is coming into Ronin. He's forty eight years old actress, Erin gray puck Rogers, buck Rogers in the twenty fifth century. She was Wilma Deering on that show. I had it for her silver spoons, of course, as well. As you mentioned, buck Rogers, dammit, I love that show. That was a great show, Pamela Hensley on it too. She was like the bad girl on that show. She was smoking hot. Plus got killed you raargh. You've got Tweety tweet Wiki tweaking tweedy. It's tweaking. Okay. Okay. Was the yellow brighter? I can see tweaking. I concede g buck meaty Beaty Beatty between. Tweety? Anyway, love that show loved her happy birthday to Wilma Deering from buck, Raj. Remember the beginning. I'll rod when they explained the whole story did of that show it nineteen eighty-seven. Well, why I listen to me listen to William Conrad. The nineteen eighty-seven NASA launches the last of America's deep space. In a freak mishap range of three and its captain, William buck Rogers blown out of that trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life support systems and returns. Buck Rudge's to five hundred Sweden. Yes. The toys and everything love that you all to show, and they put out a the actual version as well with together. Couple episodes from the first season, I think and they released it as a move. I remember going to theaters I don't remember that. I was I had the buck Rogers movie poster on my law. So I know for sure that we always want that gun such great toy on loved it. TV anchor. Katie Couric also celebrates her birthday today. She is sixty two years old actor David Caruso is celebrating a birthday today as well. He is sixty three years old today. Got a start, of course on NYPD blue made a big star one year later he walked head. Got it made him a big star. And got a big head Dunkel -ment anybody document everybody over to my PD blue became said, I'm going to be a movie star. No that did not did not want. And then another fifteen years later. He got another shot at a TV show. And now he's on CSI Miami. That's still a thing. Still thing is it. I don't know. No, Don PA writing that. Does that one doesn't matter? It's not matter. Although we all remember him as Horatio Caine sunglasses off of the sunglasses put them on say, oh, well looks like this lifeguard needed someone to God his life. I'm not that was real one. Not. I just made the editor said so much fun doing that every frigging week. Yeah. I had a friend who worked on that show said is the worst experience really David Crusca would try to direct him in-between takes. He would drink other actors. Yeah. Yeah. The director came up and directed and would walk away. And then Dave crews would pull my friend side. Here's what you need to image guard giving him line readings and stuff yet. Oh, per no never had a good thing said about that. I've never heard a good positive things. And I've got a bunch of friends, of course, I was on NYPD blue off and on for a little bit. And I knew all those people and not wanna hasten had any any thing to say about how do you continue to work when everyone hates you. That's an excellent my mind. That's excellent question. He's been so many hours working with people in this business, and for people not to like you ever the story. I heard was that Caruso failed as a movie actor and that got very humble and then went in a met on CSI. And he said I'm changed man on very different now. And I've learned my lesson. And then as soon as the show took off and became a hit he became the same. So there you go nNcholas cage is fifty five years old today. More of a treasure protecting basis, Kathy. Valentine of the legendary girls group the go Go's. So the rates are sixtieth birthday today. Good. Is that music Oguz still holds up speaking people? No one likes Dustin diamond of saved by the bell. Pre today is forty screech as he was known. Or is it switch states screech? But I could seated Rex Lee from entourage is fifty years old today. He played ARA goals assistant on that show. Loyd. The assistant ever watching episode. You've never watched entourage. Not even like the first season. When it was a thing. Never everybody watched. I know I never watched the and then every episode Ari gold played by Jeremy Piven would get upset at his assistant, and he would scream very funny because he would yell his name continually. Yes. Every episode here. Very dynamic here rent. Nope. Brett Dalton from Marvel's agents of shield celebrates his birthday today. He's thirty six years old played grant ward on that show. All he was a bad, dude. I it was a good, dude. Then he was a bad, dude. And then it got kinda gone to good again. And then he got really bad. You didn't watch Marvel's agent headed. I don't watch TV. Daddy, never watch television. Xfinity one voice remote and find some shows for dick don't look for Dickel look for dick anywhere. And lastly singer Kenny Loggins celebrates his seventy first birthday today. Come on. You cannot shake your ass when that song comes on. That's today. Celebrity birthdays, I'm Ralph garment I walk show bisbee. Now, it's time to talk to our pal banks Lee banks works for attractions magazine, his job. Speaking of jobs you like doing. He's awesome job is just to travel around the world and go to amusement parks, and then write about him. That's what he does. That's his life. How what did he do in a past life to get? This must have been very good. Boy, they rewarded him. Anyway, he's got a bunch of updates about. What's going on in the world of theme? Parks chance to sit down and talk with him. Here is Mr. banks Lee. And now for the first time in the new year, we get to hear all about the news in theme. Parks around the world with our expert from tractions magazine, Mr. banks Lee, how are you, sir? I am great Ralph happy new year. And to you Glenn at a chance to talk today because I know the these theme parks are constantly growing. There's always news on what's happening. I've seen some aerial shots of the new Star Wars area there in Disney, and it looks like the millennium foul. Can is done. And that's kind of exciting is is insane to when you see these aerial shots to see a completed full scale millennium. Falcon just sitting right there. Ready for you to walk up and explore. I just cannot wait for that. What's going on with that land? Do we know yet? Yeah. Well, so it's opening this year. That's the big the great news were in the year of its opening. Disneyland will get it. I on California with a projected summer opening. We're hearing Bob Eiger, actually, my slim at slip that it might be in June. So stop preparing some time in June go galaxy far far away, however here while dizzy Roldan in Orlando, Florida, we have to wait a little longer. We're going to get around late fall. So the construction is at full blast a lot of the attractions from sneak peeks they've released looked to be completed on the inside we've seen already some actual footage of the millennium falcon attraction and guests in their piloting. The falcon we've seen the rise of the resistance track with ride. So they are there in the the home stretch here. I know it's good news for Disney, but I can't. Imagine what the crowds are going to be like on that finally opens. I do not even want to be anywhere near. If anyone's going to be able to get near the park is the crowds, especially Disneyland such a small park itself. I can't imagine what the lions gonna be like just to get into the park. I may not see this attraction to like twenty twenty one. I have a good feeling. Yeah. Well, it's all about the franchises. Now for all these parks LEGO. Now, of course has LEGO land, they're expanding into their movie world too, right? Yeah. So the movie to the second part comes out actually just next month now and here legal in Florida. They are getting ready to open up this spring, the LEGO movie world, so all the characters from the first to Lega movies are together. There's three new rides masters of flight Unity's disco drop and battle of bricks Berg, I love those movies so much so funny. The great family fills to stuffer both adults and kids to enjoy. And seems like these lands are going to be just the same. And of course, Legos had a great relationship with the comic book characters as well. With the massive success of LEGO Batman. Speaking of DC, six flags famously has been their theme park partner for some time. Now are they working on new stuff with DC's? Well, yeah. So every year six legs likes to tout that they have a new attraction opening at every single one of their around the country. And if you that the parks actually will have some DC related rise opening this year. The biggest one is probably going to be a new cyborg dark, right? This is going to go to six flags New England over Massachusetts cyborg, vice guests to star labs to see new technological device. But suddenly cybernetic system called the grid accents the mainframe takes control of the lab and since you on an adventure. So this is gonna be a big DC ride for for that six likes park. And then know the little carnival type rides like at six, Texas. They'll get a joker wild card. It's going to be the tallest and fastest spinning pendulum pendulum ride in the world. So there's all the parks around the country six specifically, there's at least w-. One or two DC play things to do there that all sounds great. But I'm still so jealous of that. Abu Dhabi thing with the Gotham city in the metropolis and all that stuff. Right. I wish we could get some of that caliber, DC wise here six is is a few of the parks, a Justice league attraction, which is pretty on par with some of the great dark rise at dizzying versus does. So be a chance to check out one of those rides. That's that's definitely worth worth it for the kids. I know you mentioned to me before we started chatting that Sesame Street had some news. What's going on with them? Yes. A Sesame Street and SeaWorld have had a long standing relationship for many years now and see rolled Orlando is getting ready to open up this spring their first ever Sesame Street land. This me the very first time that anyone will be able to actually walk writes down Sesame Street. They're building the streets to scale in the park, you're gonna walk through cabbies guarding. You'll get to go by big bird's nest. Visit Mr. Hooper store, and then sit on that famous one-two-three stoop is there still sesame place there in Pennsylvania. Outside philadelphia. I grew up to be sesame place. Yes. Me places still. They're still going strong sesame places actually owned by the SeaWorld, entertainment, and parks. And I know that they've announced that they want to build a second sesame place someplace in the country. We don't know where yet, but that is in the plans how about what's going on with that Harry Potter coaster. I've heard about they are in full construction of a new Harry Potter roller coaster at highlands of insure here in Orlando Florida, and we don't really know much details. Universal likes to keep things on the secret of side until a couple months before they actually opened it up, but it will open up this summer. It's going to be a whole new story based on the Potter films. It looks like rumors suggest it's going to be a motorbike ride. So if you remember from the sex seventh film when they ride those bikes with Hagrid, those are going to be the rollercoaster vehicles. You're gonna go through the forbidden forest and see dangerous left and ride. It looks like it's gonna be a high-tech immersive attraction for universal. I do wanna. Talk about this rumor, I heard we are of course in the throes of the NFL playoffs right now. Yes. Is it true? I've heard there's some connection with the NFL and theme parks now. Yes, kennywood park. This year is going to opening up a a whole land and a rollercoaster for the first time based on an NFL property. Now, this is out there around your neck of the woods and Pennsylvania. So there are two greats teams to choose from day chose the Pittsburgh Steelers Ooh. So yeah, they're gonna hold land based on has called Steelers country. There's going to be a steel curtain roller coaster, which they've released what the ride vehicles look like in. It's like you're sending in the jersey with the headdresses a football. There's going to be merchandise. Skill games for locations theme to tell getting experience like it's going to be a huge NFL playground. But the Steelers theme that's great. They can have wide receivers arguing, but the coaches and they running backs holding out and not showing up to the park. That'll be fun. All right back. Thanks so much as always for catching us up in the world of theme. Parks before you say goodbye, I saw that you were doing this great charity event. And I wanted to mention it to the army before I let you go a little bit about the race that you're running this weekend. So this weekend is the annual while DisneyWorld marathon weekend, they have a five K ten K A half in the full marathon. I have always done five days in the past. But for the first time this year, I'm challenging myself to do both the five K and the ten K, and I'm partnering with give kids the world village located here in Orlando, Florida to run the racist for them and raise money for that place. Now, tell me little bit about give kids the world village. It's a nonprofit resort here in Kasumi Florida right outside of Orlando provides week Lord cost-free vacations to children with life threatening illnesses and their families. So they they fly people down here. They get to stay the entire week on site at their village. Call. Cost-free then the par the parks of partnering with gives the world for years. Now, they get free tickets to go to the theme parks characters will sometimes go to the village and selves to meet in person. It's a wonderful organization. We've done a lot of great work with them in in the past. And I'm excited continue helping raise money from that sounds awesome. How can the army help you raise money for this worthy charity? Well, the website if you wanna go to support dot g k t w dot org slash Goto slash banks. -ly that's Ringo to make a donation any amount. You can donate would be very very helpful trying. I'm trying to raise at least seven hundred fifty dollars about six percent of the way there the race. I is this Thursday and Friday. So I love to at least try to break that before before you get out there run. Okay. That link is ridiculously long and hard number. So what I'm gonna do? I will put out a separate post via patriot to our listeners. And then if they want to help contribute they can click on it. Easier than trying to write that down. What you just said exactly outta ashore website address. But that's how it is. No worries bags pleasure to catch up with you. Let's do it again soon. Anytime you hear some news about the theme. Parks reach on out. And we'll talk about it. Okay. Offering ralph's. Thank you so much. We'll see you later. Happy. New your buddy new year. New year, and I will pass along that information on that charity work that banks is doing so if you folks are kind enough to throw a few bucks way, I'm sure those kids with life threatening illnesses would absolutely appreciate it tomorrow. It's a brand new show on a brand new day. It's Tuesday tonight is the premiere of the bachelor Eddie, yes, it's a three hour long. The batch a long-time why watch the bachelor when you simply can tune in tomorrow and listen to the recap of my wife, and I talking about three hours -actly, we'll fill you on everything you need to know all that. Plus all the entertainment news Steve Ashton will be stopping by with the first UK update of the week. It's going to be a great show. I've announcement away mic where we say her chemic- enough. Here's breaking news events, the Saturday January twelfth at the ice house. I'll be performing stand up comedy along with John Cooperman. The are Rick barrier nude make him do bring my boy he's going to bring me up on stage. Awesome. January twelfth at the ice house nine thirty PM. So tickets are available online, I'll tweet out links and stuff. So right. Do you know the the website offhand ice house comedy ice has comedy dot com? That's where you can go to get your tickets to see your vice host. Eddie pens, performing live on stage. If he doesn't sell this up. I'm going to be a little disappointing. Frank, the Garmisch should show up to support Eddie pen, and John and John Cooper. Of course, he's added to the she comes out on stage Borate Maranto, and those who don't know what's going on. We'll look at you. Like, you're insane. I get that look a lot. So there you go. Thank you Pence for that. Breaking. Sake. And now where was like. Oh, that's right. Sorry, come on back tomorrow won't you? Here's why. Because I love you. And I mean it by.
The Ralph Report
Aired 6 months ago 93:48
TRR169 9 15 18 - LIVE From The Improv In Hollywood
Hey, they're Ralph garment here, and thanks so much checking out this free Monday edition of the Ralph report. If you like, what you hear, do me a favor subscribe to the Ralph report. So we can put some fun in your ears, five days a week. We're not just here on Mondays, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday as well. And you can listen for as little as three dollars a month, so subscribed today. So you know, miss out on any of the fun go to patriotdepot dot com. Slash the RAF report and sign up ladies and gentlemen, help me in welcoming you guys to the Ralph report with Ralph Garman. Welcome to the route report with Ralph Sharman. Hello, boys and girls. How are you? Thanks so much for being here. Tonight's you love me. You're so sweet sh my wife's here tonight. Hi boys and girls. Thanks for being here. This is a surprise. Quite frankly, this whole thing has been a surprise. Ralph report is, is it's a new invention. It just started in January, and here we are in September and doing our first Ralph report live in front of the live audience is very exciting. I just want to take this opportunity since the first time we're talking face to face. Usually you're in your car. Probably when you're listening to me or take an shit or whatever it is you do when you listen to me. But we're face to face now and you know, it's not a secret that I lost my job last year in November and right. What the fuck were they thinking, thank you and they blur. I appreciate. That was from you. Thank you so much. And when it happened, I turned to my wife and I said, well, I'm unemployed. What are we gonna do now? And she rejected idea of me being a pimp. And so I thought. Selfish, and I said, I have to start doing something. I got to create a show of my own somehow. And the idea for the Ralph report was born. I said, maybe the folks who followed me on radio all those years and on Hollywood Babylon with Kevin Smith, maybe just maybe they'd be interested enough in what I'm doing to tune in five days a week and spent some time with me, and you guys showed up in such a big way. I really appreciate it, and I want to say thank you to everybody for doing that. So tonight is thank you to you from me and also thank you to all the people who make the show possible because it started off being just me by myself talking, you know microphone and it was very sad. It was. I was. I was unshaven often just in a ratty old bathrobe and I did a lot of rocking back and forth. Yeah, definitely. Definitely out of a job. Yeah. Oh, no income. Yeah, it was like rain, man. And little by little. I started to sober up and I shaved and we started building this show slowly. And tonight is the culmination of all my friends and family who have gathered together who make up the cast and crew of the Ralph report, and you're gonna get to meet them all tonight for the first time. Not all there's a few players who won't be here tonight because it's a little past their bedtime. Our little one, a live u who does. Of course, Livy at the movie, she has her own movie review segment on the show. She got some fanmail today. She was very excited by. She wanted to be here, but she couldn't be here. And of course Reggie, the wonder. Dog also could not be here tonight. But one of them sent along a little video to say hi to you here here it is. Hi, this is Reggie the wonder dog and you're listening to the Ralph report. Oh, thank you, Reggie. I appreciate that. It was easier to get ready to make a video than it was my kids today. So tonight's show is going to be pretty much what you hear on the route report. We're going to do our usual segments. We're going to take a look at the show biz news. Are you k- correspondent Steve? Ashton is actually in the house. We're gonna find out what Eddie said wrong this week, which will be interesting. We're going to have a lot of fun and so we might as well get things started this next gentleman when everyone started emailing in saying, you know, we love you and it's, it's nice to hear you sad and alone by yourself on the show. But maybe if you had someone to talk to, it wouldn't be so depressing. And I said, yeah, maybe there, right? So I thought I said, who can I bring in the sit in the second chair, who would be fun and dependable and personable and a blast to hang out with and that guy was not available. So then I went to. I went to my friend Eddie Pence, and I said, Eddie. Would you like to be part of the Ralph report? And he said, fuck no. And and I sell throw you a couple of bucks how about that? And he said, all right, in that case, he is. He's a good friend. He has been embraced by the garment. I appreciate how well you guys treat him. Please put your hands together for our vice hosts, Mr. Eddie Pence. It's going well. How are you. Hey, what's going on. The sound effects. Fuck indicate that so much. Would you like some help with that? Don't put it their kids for your wife? Yeah. She'll leave me. Anyway, Mr. pants. It's first of all. Thanks so much for everything you've brought to the show tonight. No, you I. You're you're, you're been a tried and true sidekick, and it's a guy who I can count on and those are few and far between. So thanks. Bringing me in on this. It's a blast at a sad life before. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate a, hey, we don't do this individual. We don't have time, but. After the show all say hi to every single one. By the way we aren't doing too big, meet and greet in the bar after the show. So if you guys want to come in and take pictures or say, hi, whatever will meet you in the bar, and I will be leaning by the by the end of the show. But if you want to come in prop me up, I'll take a picture and I promise not to drool. We're going to do the usual stuff we do on the show. We're going to take a look at the entertainment news. Of course, we've got holiday or holiday coming up also lot of holidays today, but first I want to get something off my chest. No. This fucking cartoons. Gigi. Are you familiar with Ziggy. Zeki is a cartoon that has been around for fifty years, and it's never been funny, not fucking once and the guy, Tom Wilson druid and drew it and drew it and made a shit ton of money off Ziggy. And then he died. And I said, finally, and then his son, Tom Wilson junior took over and it lived on fucking Ziggy wouldn't die. And I don't know why bothers me so much, but it does. It makes me insane that this thing still exist. Yesterday's Ziggy. Well, first of all, let me go this out of my system. Those. As. Yes, Ziggy is terrible. Yesterday was particularly annoying and why don't we do this to myself? Why do I keep looking think when Tom Wilson died and he passed it onto his son on his deathbed son was like, fuck no dude. This sounds like CHU, yeah, maybe he didn't want to do it. He just does it well, he didn't want to do it. He should have done this all favor and just gone with dad. That's what he should have done. Here is here's yesterday's Ziggy cartoon. There's Ziggy and his beloved pet. Parrot and Ziggy is feeding him animal crackers. And he says, since he heard berries, this ended dinosaurs. He only eats and Craig. Fuck yourself. Ziggy. That's doesn't even that even resemble a joke. Bird doesn't even like him. It's. That's another eight dollars in Tom Wilson juniors pocket or whatever that is, but it's just, we're, here's, here's scraping by Eddie we're doing. We're doing a podcast barely alive and that shit is making the big money. That's why I'm furious put that. I'm so I said that's gone. It is sad and gone. Thanks to all the folks who've from time to time send in emails to the show. You can always reach us at Ralph at the Ralph report dot com, or they leave mail sometimes at our hotline, which is one eight, three, three, hi, Ralph. And. It's always nice to hear your messages. This one came in this week and I thought it was pretty interesting it has to do with you Mr. Pence. Of course, it does. I don't know if you're familiar with our show or not, but Eddie has the pallet of a child. He can't eat the big boy food. He only likes chicken tenders. The ones here are fabulous. By the way, say, did you have the check one hundred percent? Yeah, but you've eaten grownup food too though, right? Yeah. You don't have a steady diet like Mr. Pence does. Just if I know what I like. Why do I? Why would I go anywhere else world? Eddie? That's why it's a big old world out there. And this guy wants to this is something you said you would eat, and he doesn't want you to eat it. And I thought, why are we eliminating things? Eddie will say, I would eat where we're talking about fortune cookies. Yeah, this guy was not happy with you. Eddie. You're wrong. Fortune cookies are disgusting. Their inevitable that case, they're just filed. You'll be good thing about fortune cookies. You can open them up. And when you read the fortune with everyone else who's at the table, you can go, please help me. I'm stuck in a fortune cookie factory, but other than that, you don't even need them sleep on the plate. There there, he's that guy. He's the guy that dinner at the Chinese reser goes, oh, my says, helped me. I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory. He's the fucking Zeki of his that. Ziggy of fortune cookies and he's telling you don't eat fortune cookie. What we're sports in I ever got was, don't forget to get takeout. It was a commercial. Fucking fortune cookie. Wow. Yeah, nobody's stiff the waiter. Oh, it's not his fault. He didn't put the fortune in the. That guy over this. Next voicemail came from a guy. We talked from time to time. We'll be talking all season long with another member of the cast of tonight. Oh, that's no, no NFL NFL season. Oh, wait a minute. Yes. Well, why don't you wait thirty seconds for me to fight easing? We're doing seasons fucking fun. You'll find all the answers. It'll be magical. Oh, we're all open up to you. If you just wait a minute, I can't wait for us. Our show doesn't have. Daddy needs to keep mentioning that cone dress with. All season long, NFL football season long. You'll be talking to Jay busbee from Yahoo. Sports gonna came in on Fridays. We're gonna talk about the upcoming football games on the weekend, and someone wrote me by the way is in the side. Why don't you talk about baseball? Because baseball blows. That's why that's why. Do that. Blow baseball. It's not football, but isn't God? How does anyone survive an entire game based? You watch a whole game of baseball. Oh, okay. I just want to make sure I didn't have it wrong. No one ever wants a whole game of baseball. So from time to time, Jay busbee from Yahoo sports and I will talk about football and we'll talk about wagering, not that that's legal in the state of California. But if you wanted to theory theoretical wagering, you could put a little money down her son. One for fun. So this guy sent a message in. He's a little confused. With things you in both the on the talking about the sport and betting comes up with a wide. I'm a thirty nine year old eightieth. Could you plane sports betting fairly. I have no idea what these terms me a wine the over and under what of mean educating me please. This guys thirty nine years old. He doesn't know how to bet on what over under me. He doesn't know what the line is. He doesn't know overrun der- I would get that information. Correct. I know right. If any Pence I know under is you need help. So I thought for today's show, we would do a little a little tutorial on how to to bet on a football. It's not that difficult, but sometimes the technology can be the not the technology, but the phraseology can be a little intimidating. So can we throw up that? This is a theoretical gain. This is of course wouldn't be real. This is an example of an NFL game. It's the forty Niners against the Rams. And in this particular case, the forty Niners are. Favored now the first number you see that minus six point five, that is what they call the point spread. So if the if the forty Niners are favored by six point, five points that means that they have to win by seven points or more in order for you to win your bed. If you bet on the forty nine. So you say they're giving they're giving them seven, six and a half. The reason they do six and a half is because they don't want to do with ties in Vegas because these guys get pissed off when Matt's gets involved. So they say six and a half. So when it seven points, you know, everybody gets paid. So they have to win by seven points or more for you to make your money now. Consequently, the wos Angeles Rams are plus six point five. That's their point spread, right? I mean, they have to lose by less than seven points in order to get paid because they're supposed to lose the game. So that's how you bet on a point. So you can bet on the Rams to lose by only three points. Right. And you would still get paid, you'd still get paid. That's second number is what. They call the money line that minus one eighty. You see for the rent for the Niners because they're favored. You would have to pay. You would get paid one hundred dollars forever. One hundred eighty dollars that you bet. So that's you don't have to bet a hundred dollars, but that's the. That's the on getting that money back and with the Rams you would get one hundred and sixty dollars back for every hundred dollars. You bet. So that's how you bet the money line. And then that lasts number at the end thirty eight point five. That's next to both team names that is what is known as the over and under which is what they're guessing. The total number of points we'll be when the game is over. So you can bet that's going to be more points than that or less points than that. And so the magic number in that case would be thirty nine obviously and that's how you get paid on that. So it's relatively easy to lose your fucking house in Vegas on football is what I'm saying. So if you didn't know how to bet on a football game. Now I have introduced you to a degenerate life of gambling that you'll never recover friend. If you think this is interesting get into parlays, oh, I didn't want. Yeah, even get there right way to lose your mind. You want to explain that to people parlays, where you pick a certain amount of games per week. Like if you pick like three, four, six, eight game parlays, and though all those teams that you pick have to cover their point spreads. Right? So you have to get each of those beds, right? All of them in order to get paid off at the five team parlay bet on five teams to cover their point spreads that week, and you're gonna put like you only put like ten twenty bucks down and you can win like three, four hundred out whatever the pays out. But because everybody wins because that's how hey now. But if you bet five teams and four of them, those bets come through and the one doesn't you get big fucking news. I've only ever punched one person in my life. Is this a separate is connected to it was a weird way to get into the store you getting ready to say, but I thought I thought it would peak curiosity to buy started. Alright, I bet a sixteen parlay six not sixteen six team. Six football aims? Six football team, six games. I bet six games sixteen to win. That comes out. Recap. You had to get all six of all six right in order to get paid. I covered all six graduation. Anybo- I put twenty bucks and I think the pay was going to be two thousand dollars. The guy pocketed my twenty bucks and never turned in the card. I punched him. You're applauding violence, I remind you that violence was warranted. For twenty bucks you punched a man. It was two thousand dollars. I punched avoid a punch him over the twenty. You're never had. The two thousand had was the twenty I would have had the two thousand to give you the twenty Bank. No, we never should have punched him. No, we can't go back to pace ball, like what you want lady, I will take you out. I'm not afraid he got nothing to lose. I'm gonna fucking podcast. I will end you. We also have folks who send in emails all the time. God bless him and I don't know which Email jingles, but let's decide tonight we have a sample. We have a, we have a decent sample of audits we played. We've two different jingles that we play for the Email segment and I can't decide which one we're gonna use. So this is the first one. Now that ain't it. This is the first one. Due to Ralph his going to read some Email. There's sort of very listening guide you into what's definitely going to be a Email, bashing me. So it's very, no, it's it makes me feel good before I get shit. That's one one of our options. And then there's this one. Tony, don't take a narrow play to fund. Our would sound my list sprains say. The guard me ropy some letters. It's very, very clever one there enough clever. That's the winner, I think. So it was a winter judging from the audience reaction. You guys don't care. Do we give the more volume on this by the way come and do them on this, this machine. This I E mail. I wanted to read because it's it's not funny, but it touched me so much and I want to give her my personal love right now as Tricia are you in the audience Tricia soocer? Are you in the audience? Where are you Tricia? Hi, sweetie. Tricia road in. We recently had rob Paulsen on the show as my celebrity interview. Rob Paulsen is a brilliant voiceover actor from Anna maniacs and transformers and ninja turtles. What else did he do pinky in the brain? Yeah, he's a legend and he's a great player guy. No, and he was on and we talked about it. Imagine being one of the premier voice over actors of your generation and then out of the blue, he went to the doctors and they diagnosed him with stage three throat cancer. At the time I talked to rob about his story and I was just blown away by his courage and how he persevered and it's happy ending. He's completely clear and he has no cancer now, and it all worked out, but Tricia Rodin because she had listened to interview and she said, she listens all the time, but she had tears rolling down her cheeks after that interview because her nineteen year old daughter is currently under starting chemotherapy right now for Hodgkin lymphoma, and she said that our show helped her the deal with what was going on, and she listens to us every day and it helps her get through with it. And yesterday was her fiftieth birthday. And she came here today to see our show to celebrate her fiftieth birthday. I wanted to give some love to Tricia. Thank you so much, and you know we got nothing but love and good thoughts for you and your family, and we're really pulling for you and what's your daughter's name? Katie? We're all we all Katie in our hearts and minds, and we're wishing you all the best. So kit kicked some cancer ass. Okay. You guys thanks for being here cancer, but cancer. Indeed, that's a bolt stand. We're anticancer on this show. I don't care. I don't care who knows it. We'll we'll say it out loud. I don't care. It's not a red blue thing. Right, man, no cancer. Yeah, it's a brave brave statement from us. Somebody's gotta make and I'll do it. This next thing that's from George Cottrell. He knows that Eddie has. He's an un-american human being and he says that he doesn't like root beer. He does not like root beer, the all American beverage of root beer. Eddie does not drink. Why is it? Why is that the all American beverage because they've been drinking it since we fucking stole this land from the Indians. That's why that's why it's all American because we said, we're going to take this shit away from the indigenous peoples in the ear. Cheers. So s Parrilla and root beer, SAS Barilla's, this Birla SAS, Peru, real gorilla. It's early. Sorry. I almost sobered up. That was the problem. Rupe. Here's the native American during. No, it's not. You said you took it for the NATO. No, it was an all American. When you took it from the bears ranking. So we took the land or your Rahmani of your implying. You took it from the native American spend more time worrying about what I actually fucking say and less about what the the subtext is. All right. I'm not wrong on that one. Oh, Jesus. I'm you. We're gonna. I'm going to be the second guy. You punch. I might be. George Cottrell wrote is at Ralph. I would love to hear you guys talk about Birch beer on your show. Have you ever tried Birch? Not? Is that from a Birch tree? It is. That's where they get the the flavorings, or though I don't wanna drink why you're made from a tree. I don't want what's why, because it's not even a good-looking trait doesn't even look like a juicy tree. It looks. It's a, it's the white. I'm not why go. Three, why would you look at that? I bet them something good and there to drain because they take it and they processed it in something good comes out of. It doesn't look like a cow. I see a cow. I'm like, yeah, I'll eat that. Do you. Do you. On its head and drink the white stuff that comes out about steak milk. How about a maple tree? Good point. Maple tree looks juicy like looks. It looks a lot. A bursary looks dead all the time. I'm going to take that as a no. No, it looks like a dead tree all the time. And this last Email comes from our listeners Scott Tipton. This is a reference back to Friday's episode of the row report where we were talking about John legend. We were congratulating John legend. We were, John legend is a talented cat, and he's very successful at he got, he's got. Now for those, you don't want an e. dot is e is e. g. o. t. it stands for winning the four major awards in entertainment e for EMI g. for Grammy over Oscar t for Tony. And he just -ccomplish that at the age of thirty nine and it was pretty impressive. And we were talking about him because he just took a job as a judge on the voice on NBC showing that he's very successful and not that discerning. He'll take a paycheck like the rest of us. So we were talking about that. And here's what Eddie had to say about that. I'm just saying, where is that piece? Where's that? Clip? God damnit whereas you didn't have to play it. Oh, I hope I have. No. How. Oh, this is disturbing. Oh, it's good. No, it's not disturbing. Oh, shit. I don't know where I put that. Okay. Well, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter Eddie. There's no proof. So. Now it's just your word against mine. We all know what you're listening to. You don't know. Eddie said that John legend was the first African American to ever win the God, which really was I thought very big of him to give him the credit for that. Considering it was. Was completely wrong. Whippy Goldberg actually was the first African American to win the woopsie. And then of course, there was James Earl Jones also need. Harry Belafonte also an IGA winner. And the great Quincy Jones also has won all four awards. So you were a little wrong when it came to that one just a little bit by that much. But once again, I so wish I had the tape because you just said it with such if say things with confidence in particular will believe them. Well, given who's in the White House, you may be right actually. I just wanted to say congratulations, the John legend first black ish got ever unbelievable, so good. Love him. Unbelievable. You. Jr. We do a segment here on the show where we take a look at holidays on the calendar. You may not know this, but every day of the week has several national international holidays ascribed to it over fifteen hundred national and international holidays on the calendar. So we asked the question each and every episode is that a holiday or. All please tell me what we celebrate rows Gaw then. Yes. You have the most talented fans by the way? Yes, it's always me. Me away every do jingles they do. They do everything they did before we get another you guys, but the people that listen to the show outside of here do amazing work down before we get into this. I'm feeling a little lonely up here. It's time to add another cast member. I think if you don't mind, I don't wanna. I don't wanna get hit. So yeah, bring someone else up here. Can you take you take the standoff, this, this one? No, off the I just wanna make sure it's not on there anymore. I wouldn't do before we get into the calendar. We look at the holidays, this whole operation, this everything that we do here. On the route report, it's would not any. None of it would be possible without the person with whom I share my life. She is the CEO of my world. She is beautiful and town it and smart and funny, and you people keep asking for more and more of her. And that's why I'm going to bring her up right now. Please welcome. My beautiful talented, wife, Kerry to the stage. Please. There's. He looks good in a shirt to tell you that much. Very Garmin money. How are you. She is modeling are arou- purport t-shirt. By the way t shirts, it comes in adult sizes too. I want you. What do you got there in the bag here? Sunshine, I have snacks. Oh, good snacks because I figured you know, we're going to be up here for who knows how long and we might get hungry. Eddie might get hungry hungry. Maybe we can expand. So we have to make sure we have snacks for Eddie. We maybe we can expand Eddie's palate a little bit tonight. Oh cream cycles. It'd be good because like cream soclean kills might be a little gentle. Might be a little bit more bowlers at the door. Hold on a second. We're gonna wearing throw you a few things tonight just as a warning to see if we can. We can maybe expose you to some new kinds of foods and maybe find a new favorite. I'm not. Have you worked up in appetite. What? What is it? What is it? How about a little a little appetizer? That's a good idea. No peaches. I did that already. I don't get it do that again. So we did the peach. And for those of you that are three and four star generals, you saw the peach right. See the feed we. We had Eddie for some reason for those that don't know. He doesn't like to eat peaches because he says, it's like you're eating something, and that has a brain. Makes no fucking sanitaire all. And so you get a hair almost retched eating sweet. Delicious peach on our livestream video into a tumor. Now it's not. It's not a to really fighting it. Not not at all. So what do we got? Let's just have a little basic snack. All right. Let's start simple. Something that everybody in this room would enjoy. Okay. What do you got? Cubano sandwich, o q Bano one talking about on the show q. bottle. We talked about this. It was national Cubano day and it was Scott. What ahead of Ps Ps and no fees in a sandwich and has ham got a AM Eddie, you know, we love ham that thing that we all eat right at the holiday time. Fresh bread, rush. Mustard a little dab of pickle. Pickle. Oh, yeah. Got some work in there too little pork pickles fucking growth that my I think of might. So. I mean, it looks delicious to me have a little bite, the bud, let's and win if you need to spit it out that way. No, there will be no spinning. You're a man, you'll eat it and love it. Look at that. See the layers. Fucking pickle in it. Well, we told you that part but colors, the flavors, the deliciousness. That was a big bite for someone who's not sure about a coupon commitment. See, I can tell ready, you're starting to like it. No, no, no. To take a pickle out. No, it's not a Cubano with what is that? That's the shredded pork. I think network and ham Eddie. It's the same buck in me. It's a meat lover's. Why would you put the same? It's like fucking. Like what a hamburger steak. Why would you fucking do that? Eddie I had to go to great William Saltergate you that sandwich. I went to van today. What are that? He said, it's okay. Got a breakthrough. So why put having worked together? Because it's often. Crowd's going crazy crowd. We have a crowd. It doesn't make any then because I'm a little buzz than force habit. What else? I got no other answer for you. We had to shut up arc around here. They'll look in front of the other clip that I missed place. But look at that you try something new, they'd you said, you wouldn't like, and it's not that proud of you all we aren't. We proud of Eddie. Everybody. While you're eating more. You like it. I will. I will order one of these sands pickle. Wow. See like this without pickles. If you come to our house for a holiday meal, will you eat hand? My son can shoot and your toilet cruise. Your son, does she to my liberal time and blocks it and overflows the toilet and then jumps around naked on my kitchen floor. My daughter daughter saw her first peer penis alleviates all full Monty. Olivia saw the full Monty. It was. It was his kid who panicked, because he cloud our toilet and it was overflowing because the kids shit's just anywhere. And he's running around with his pants down. Oh four. My daughter's like. But to be fair, he doesn't nounce it before he goes Holton, does. And then he runs, it goes PU. Yeah. I put a plunger in that bathroom for the next time. We haven't been invited back since. How's that sandwich street? And it's okay. It's delicious. I wouldn't go. It's okay, but that's the ham just by itself, kind of fucking you said no ham before, and now you see that in learning looks like an ear. It looks like I'm eating somebody's fucking ear. I don't like that pretty good. It's pretty good. It's like robbery. I don't like. All right. Let's take a look at the rest of the holidays today. September fifteenth. These holidays are all actual holidays on the counter to be celebrated. We will let you know whether it's legit or bullshit. It's gymnastics day gymnastics day was founded in the nineteen nineties to get young girls involved in the sport of gymnastics because all the boys were clogging up all the gymnastic classes. Apparently. Yes, so gymnastics day, if you've got a young girl and you wanna make sure that she she, her period comes late because she starving yourself then and it and it gives her the body of a young boy. That's true. Yes. And then that's good too. Don't send her to that one doctor. That's all I ask. Oh, yeah, I touched the girls. Okay, fine. Blame me just a report in the news yet. Fucks. It's also Greenpeace day the people at Greenpeace are celebrating their olive day today, are they violent. It's not the crypts that day. It's stay released in their name. I've read stories where they're like really super aggressive. Like if you're trying to kill whales in front of them like this right to kill, you punch the guy for twenty bucks you five hundred dollars two thousand dollars. They do good work. They protect the earth for God's sakes. Now, what happens on Greenpeace day? You're just supposed to be aware. Environmental issues, raise awareness and raise money to protect endangered species and the planet around for that can get rid of that good stuff. It's also national tackled kids cancer day. Speaking of. I. Credit Christ for a second. I thought, said, national tackle kids with cancer day. There's one. There's one, I, if they don't have enough going on. Seems like a mean sport. It says only four percent of all federal cancer research dollars go to pediatric cancer research really were percent. That's fucked up. So there's an organization called tackle kids, cancer dot org, and they have a day every year to raise money and to raise awareness for pediatric cancers for kids who are suffering from cancer. And I think that's much more of a worthy cause than fucking gymnastics day nasty. Right? Or whales, or whatever green more killer whales. It's national online learning days? Well, they say you can recognize the advantages and the vast potential of online learning. So you don't have to deal with actual people, which I think is. So you create sociopaths gas online learning day. May I recommend my favorite online learning site porn hub. I've learned that women can do things with ping pong balls. You wouldn't imagine is possible one can blow out a candle. Really? Yeah. I've seen a woman blow out a candle on porn. What you're gonna win win is this happening. You know, when you're not at the house. Because you know, we, we have this rule at our house where when I walk into the back cave, Ralph passed to take his hands and just gently set them in his lap after back slowly from the computer when she walks into the room because you can make you. When was this. What am I gonna put my penis away. But I'm good now right now I go hands up. Take a look, nothing nothing going on here. Nothing untoward, but that girl just blew out a candle, whether pushing. I find that hard to believe. I think you should invite me to these viewing parties. I would like to see that if you could blow out a candle with your pussy, I wouldn't have do this fucking show every. We could take you on the road and make a lot of money on saying, I'll start practicing immediately. Alright. Be birthday to me. Birth to me. Do one at a time. You can't just do all cake. What are you in a hurry? You got someplace to go. Say your risk, your risk and getting. I'll take it whatever the is take. I'll tell you, what do you have frayed. No ROY. That's what you think of the splatter on ladder on. If you're going to serve the cake out, I would imagine. I probably wouldn't need it depends on what cake it is. Yeah, right. Mike, it's a chocolate cake. I'd be pretty with the candles in some ham. You won't worry about it. Eddie's wife is here too, by the way, and I just let's give a round of applause for the woman to put up with this every every day. Where's Tracy? Where's Tracy Pence? Where she should back there stand up and take a bow Tracy, poor woman. Can you imagine going out to eat with this guy? It's terrible. It's all I feel bad for. Yeah, because I eat in three minutes and you order up the tendrils? I, I get the chicken pingers, eat them, and then they take the plate away and she's just getting ready to cut into her. She's got a grownup kiss sitting there. Well, it Tracy knows what to get you for your birthday meal. Someone who could blow candles out with their no. One of those delicious sandwich. It's also national cheese toast day. This is a day we celebrate a delicious, thick slice of bread spread with butter and cheese, and toasted does Brown and crispy. See, this is how you know these are one of those bullshit holidays. It says that was created by Dell Johnson of Los Angeles in one thousand nine fifty eight when he opened his first sizzler restaurant. Yeah, no one had ever put cheese on bread before until del. Got his hands on it at the sizzler. Wait, isn't that a grilled cheese? We'll know you take it and then the other piece of toast, but it's toasted not grill. It's right in the fucking way. Fucking all right. It's an open face girled cheek. Tease who on where's the sizzlers says, they're still around the ferry purses, learn who cares. It's a similar if it's the first one I'll go with. I one the last one. They're all fucking sizzlers on their all offers one in the Valley. I just want to know if that one that one is fucking awful. They have. They have a chocolate fountain. They would have Long Beach. Okay. Next report live. It's also national linguini day today, the fifteenth. You don't wanna look. Sweeney means in Italian, my hunting you. You speak Italian. My guess would be that it is a pig part. Am I right? Because most most is names after apparently is wrong. No, the Greenies pasta, babe. I know all of the pastas in Italian are named after the part of the pig. Oh, see what I'm saying. Yes. Well, maybe Oni, yeah, pig part what part of the pig is better? The pigs name was Tony, and they was like, hey, Tony, give me give me give me another piece of rig on a bag of Tony spaghetti is the name of the part of it means I think it is little tongues little things tongue. So we probably baby pig. Probably someone needs a Google that shit and make sure I'm not wrong. You might be like any pets just really forceful in believable in your delivery? You know? I am. I know. Yeah, it's also national felt hat day. So if you have a felt hat put that on, if I have a felt hat. It's national double cheeseburger day can get behind that. This one is fascinating as a as a as a amateur alcoholic. I have to say that it is national Krim dementia. I love that. I love cream Dement creamed immense, actually interesting story. It was invented in France. They drink a lot there because they tend to surrender a lot and they have. They feel they feel bad about themselves on a lot of French in the audience tonight. Everybody's offended. Got to drink to get over. Sure. During its true pharmacist named Emil Ghaffar was studying the digestive properties of mint, and he came up with Krim Dement as a cure-all as an elixir. He thought it was a medicine and years later it became an alcohol that we all drink and enjoy or. Sorry, what happened? What did you say you don't want? I have Andy's candy, right? That's like his candy. Right. It's like thing. It took a Indies candy, right? Sort of like candy, but here's what I think about cream demand. What are you thinking about cream Dement? Well, I think it probably exists on this property because it's a full bar and I also think that Eddie probably needs a digestive after his coupon of sandwich. So I don't know, Jim, a little medicine. Did you get a little taste like nine? Why don't we do is shot of it and see if he likes it. Why not? It's right. Oh, look, what are the odds. God damnit Gabby. That is a big shot. We're not going to drink all this. Really having. Really big. Now are we? Are we supposed to do this with? It's just there's no ice thing. Let's celebrate Emili defiant and his amazing. All your first of all, you don't have to do the whole thing because you don't drink alcohol don't. And so I don't miss barely alcohol by the way as medicine. It's medicine, the guy said the French thing. No, he doesn't just eat. Well, do a little taste in celebration of a meal Gifford the meal arms to me. We. You didn't have to. Eddie we've told you didn't have to do the whole shot. My god. Any Hetty. That is pretty tasty. It's awful guys seriously. You're not ever had anything meant before. Not that's fucking like fucking Robitussin. You look healthier already, you deal. We're bellies all war. Welcome to the dark side. I feel that way every time I have a drink, they get all my belly's warm, oh, that hole in my soul is closing. I'm happy. I have confidence people like me. That that is good stuff. It's very tasty. I mean, like cough medicine Coleman x. cough medicine. Eddie. You're being a little dramatic. Take a look. Everybody here in this flash sown by the way. Did you get your? Did you get your ponchos when you came in and did they gave you those Rafic park ponchos here? We're seeing a Gallagher show. I mean, it's not coming up because you you drink a gallon of water. Yeah. Good. What happened? I'm looking for something for you to throw up, throw up. I'm fine. Okay. Really warm, really. And lastly day we're celebrating today in holiday or holiday. It is. It's a bird. That's a all right. Today's day is also bad man. So I brought something from home to put on. Now you all see what he looks like every night when he comes to bed. So what I'm in the office watching porn. This is what I'm wearing. Do you call it Robin, this. This couch have you know, from my Batman collection, and this was actually the cow that went Adam west visited my home before he passed away. He wore this when we were giving a tour of the collections. This is bad. Because he put it on. And then he said, you know what? I need to take my face remember. And then he took it off and he put tape to pull his skin back and that he would look like the young. He didn't want to appear to be like an old bam, recapture that. So yeah, he was a great guy, and I feel like an idiot right now, but it is Batman day to day. We celebrate the dark Knight and DC comics also today has announced that they have finally launched their streaming service DC universe. If you're a comic book fan, you probably know about this and thank you. And I wasn't allowed to talk about this intil they launched it, but. Is looking at the bucket the bucket. Oh, my God back it is before you will now. DC universe. It wasn't allowed to talk about until now until launched, but I am the host of one of their shows on there called DC presents. And I do informative short shows before the movies that they carry on the streaming service. So for example, we did all the Batman movies and superman and all their classic films that I get up there. Like one of those guys from Turner, classic movies, and I tell you a little story about the movies and was big chair book. No, I, I stand in front of a green screen. They say, pretend to walk, and I do this very awkwardly and you can watch it yourself. Here's a little piece of me from DC universe presents. It's difficult to imagine a world where we hadn't seen a brooding live action, Batman. But before the nineteen eighty nine film for a lot of people, the name Batman conjured up visions of Adam west or the animated Cape crusader from super France. So that's just a little taste, but I got a new show. So that he keeps working. So you're walking stand into place, walking a fake wall fake Wonka. Funny. What do they asked you to do when you got DC comics? Mr. just site. Just site. I've not. I'm just saying, look, good. You want some more of this. Fuck that. Fucking scope. All right. That was holidays, holidays, I think we got an exit. Emme. That's done by John Cooperman by the way John's. Whereas John won some tickets to be stand up John. John created that jingle. Much like the row report itself. It was so bad that people loved it. John was so awful that people picked it up like a injured kitten and said, I'm gonna take this to my heart and love it forever. The original version was like Kepala on. And then he actually put music underneath that it made it palatal John. It makes me smile every morning really does for that. No, it's not look at all the entertainment news the way we do every show the segue we call the show biz bi-communal biz music. This is not exactly show biz could bring that down. That does the news. The toy hall of fame has announced their twelve nominees. For this year every year they nominate twelve toys. Only a handful get in, I think three or four, but they announced the twelve nominees. Three three will be inducted. These are the finalist, and I wanted to see who in the audience about these were good choices. Here. You're twelve finals for the toy hall of fame, American Girl dolls. How can you eight on American Girl dolls because they're so expensive and you can't afford is that why. Shoots and ladders. You want to do that. Fuck in game. My kid makes me play that. I want to just stab a knitting needle in my eye. Game, but that is the perfect metaphor for life. Is that game. Because sometimes you're going well. It's the perfect metaphor for life. Yeah, going along. And then boom creamed him in talking. Hurling over a ladder, the magic, eight ball. Now we're talking toys. I love me some magic, eight ball, Fischer, Price's corn Popper. You may not know it by name, but that's the little thing with the wheels, the things pop up and down when you walk it that I had, I had that toy master of the universe, actually fans even tickle me Elmo. My son had that there's brand new toy called tickle metoo Elmo, where. Elmo's Suzhou take. Come on. That's not funny. Electric football member, electric. I had that. Yeah, that's a good Wiberg. Luneau Ono everyone's say that's the winner. Chalk, which truck. Chalk is that's a fucking like rock, right? It's just the thing you've help there and it's not a toy, but draw with the kids draw. It's a fucking sidewalk. You run the second pin Seoul, like, why don't fuck it? Just his in twenty eighteen. They're just getting around the CIA. That's what caveman used to make paintings on walls and. Oh, that's right. Let's put that on the list. Pinball once again, late little boy. Did you get this list from the national toy hall of fame in New York state? They just announced their nominees. Sled sled. Rose and tic. TAC toe is finally gave. That's just something you do, the occupy your child at dinner, hence, but it's not like you don't sell tic-tac-toe of really what you do, but you don't. Everyone just plays it on a piece of paper with chalk. You take chalk and you do when you're on red, they should go together. You're right. It would be fitting talk and you think the magic eight ball knows whether it's getting into the hall of fame or not. Yeah, I do outlook not good. I mean, the best toy that's been invented in the last two years and I can't remember the name, but I'll explain it to you and you tell me what it is is the water balloons the. We're eighty one time water balloons to a hose and it blows up eighty at a time. And then they just have this massive water balloon fight. And then you have to try to raise to pick up all of the exploded water balloons before they melt into your ground for children on them. Yes, but that is the best way that it is remarkable because when I was a kid to make a water balloon, you needed to take one balloon and stretch it over the mouth of your garden hose and invariably the fuck and rubber ringwood snap off in your hand. And you'd say, fuck it. Let's go inside because it's air conditioned and the prep time for water. Polluted flight was like four out. It was yes. The sun would go down. You'd say we're going to pick this up in the morning. Everyone go home. This was sad news, very talented character character actor named Peter Donat passed away. You may not know the name, but you may know the face because if you're an x. files fan, he was the father of FOX moulder. On that show. He passed away at the age of ninety. He was a favourite of Francis Ford Coppola as well worked in two films with Francis, the godfather part two and Tucker, the man and his dream. So talented guy passed away at the age of ninety this week. This is interesting news. If you're JAMES BOND fan, they are still looking for a new director, but they have found guys to write the new script. Denny Danny Boyle passed on this. There was problems and they walked away. Now he is coming. He's had not been replaced yet, but they found someone to write the script Neal, Purvis and Robert Wade who wrote all of the Daniel Craig bonds are coming back to write this one well, which is good news. Those they were good, and my wife has a thing for Daniel Craig by land. So. Well, that's still going to be good news, Matt, who wrote it still be there. You love Daniel, Craig Bill. I did not more than you, but. Oh. Oh, you lied. Nice. This is awkward for me. Justin Bieber has announced he's going to get American citizenship. America announced, fuck no. He says, he doesn't want to give up his Canadian citizenship. He wants to retain both. So we've got to go through the following steps. She was five steps to become an American citizen. You have to prove that you have a right to be in the country. He doesn't. He doesn't. He fails. There needs form and four hundred good old end four hundred. Got that one background check by the FBI to make sure you're not a terrorist. Have you listened to d'esposito. Fail, you have to know US history, government, and English. Have you listened to d'esposito. And then you have to to note ceremony and pledge allegiance to the United States of America. He's got two out of five got shot. Shot. And this guy, Geoffrey Owens is back in the news. Geoffrey, Owens played Alvin, no Elvin rather on the Cosby show. He was Sandra the eldest Cosby girls husband on that show. And then he was publicly shamed because he had a job at trader Joe's and they started putting his picture in the paper saying, look, this guy, he's working what an asshole got a job. And he thinks shamed him for not being on a television series any longer and for working at trader Joe's and the offers had just been pouring in since he's been publicly outed. He Tyler Perry, first of all, put him on his new show on his new show, but his existing show on the own network that's Oprah's network called the haves and the have nots. And so he's got a gig on that. And now just announced this week that NCIS New Orleans has asked him to come on and be a guest on that series as well. You shave me all the time, maybe they'll make me an offer. Yeah, that's true. I should put a picture of you out even some ham or something, and everyone making fun of you. Maybe you'll get some Guineas Jamie more or get a job at fuck trader Joe's apparently ought to do that. That's the easy way. This is an interesting story. If you're a doctor who fan we're gonna, have our UK corresponded out soon. The talk about doctor who, but Jodie Whittaker is the new female doctor who, and everyone is talking about it. It's going to debut here in the states in October, I think the UK as well. We'll start to see the new doctor who the first time woman has ever played the legendary science fiction character doctor who. A news website Austrailia was doing a story about Jodie Whittaker, the actress who came into the room and auditioned for the role, and they knew at that moment that she was the only choice to be doctor who they put this story out this week. Oh my God, there's the doctor. Here's how the new doctor who Jodie Whittaker blew everyone away in her audition. Here's the problem. That was how it looked on the website. When you put it on a phone, it got returned that said, oh my God, there's the doctor. Here's how new doctor who Jodie Whittaker blew everyone. Which is also how you could get some jobs. By the way I play my mouth now. I'm fine. You're not done with snacks book within the bug. Lastly, guys, modern family fans like the TV series, modern family. It's one of the best comedies on television. In my opinion, they announced this week series co, creator Christopher Lloyd announced that in season ten, the upcoming season. One of the main characters in the show will die. We're handling some bigger life events. In this season. Lloyd told Entertainment Weekly, we do deal with death, which is certainly a topic that many families have to deal with it on. Television is not easy to do because that's a heavy subject. But at the same time, it would seem unusual for family not to go through with it when asked who would be killed on the Syrian that killed not gonna merger, someone Dallas all, yes, there were no hands, but Lloyd's it. It's a significant character on the TV series. He said, I just wish we knew someone for modern family who day. Tell us some insight perhaps might be tying be so nice if Julie Bowen was here tonight. She could probably come up on stage and tell us what's going on. Julia Boehner come up on stage and tell us what's going on joy. Could you. Wish truly Bowen for modern family. She's sitting out there someplace here. She is. Should we come on and tell us what's going on with your show for God's sakes. Why are you killing people over there? Only just in time? Yes. Why am I in the tiny seat. No, I like word. I remember the first time I did talk show and I discovered that they put the hosts on the high seat and they've with a guest down like this. Hang on. I'm just going to do this. There we go. All right. Underwear, babe. Hi, Julie wearing regular underwear. How dare you would you like try to blow out a candle. I did it. I just did it over there. All right. Who's who's dying on your show this season? Are you gonna? Knock off. It's lily. Right? It's got to be that annoying little. It's modern Matlock it's me. Oh, don't we love you? I mean, I have no idea is dying. You have some idea. That's this voice of authenticity right there. I don't know. What do you guys start back. Ron episode fi, five. We're finishing up by maybe starting six and we haven't killed anybody yet. It's still just like good, clean, semi, gay, fun. Semi gay really well. I mean, if there's there's, it's it's not always gay, but it's good in the best way absolute. And that's the way we like it. You know, some people are speculating. This might be the final season for modern family again, more information than I do not have. I was told it was we're all under hunter. Agree. We're done. We finish up now. So if somebody like honestly like bursts of the door with handfuls of cash and it's like you're going again, we'd all say yes, but so far this not happen. You guys you'll be up for it if they asked you to do more. Yeah, I'm waiting for like the, hey, Kool-Aid guide. Oh. Like just money. Yeah, not that is not happened. I hope it is because seriously, I think it's one of the best comedies on television. It's been for many, many years so much. I just wanna ask, how bad do you drink like for real Z's really doesn't like ten years of sobriety. Go down for a bit. He's would there somewhere a sponsor, shitting himself. He's like, we talked about this, not for your job. No, it's not like Eddie is ever been a drinker and then hides. He's never fails. Institutions and death. That's gonna be, you know, because if that one shop spiraling. Oh yeah, you're on your way down since the beginning of the. That's your second sip of alcohol ever. The first one was in the back cave. Right? It was the main that too. My second shot of tequila. What time the second shot did you throw up all? Not yet. No, not creed is the other one I was on stage in El Paso doing stand up and the crowd Bobby a shot at tequila, and there was a lot of peer pressure like FOX and. I did. I did the crowd bought you a shot of Fenton. Aw. What you do. I would I would pop open right now. Is that an option by the way people buy me batches, will they bought it for me. I had to do down. I just I just want to tell you that anybody who has changed a diaper right here knows that if you can keep that in your body long enough for it to come out the other end, it'll be blue. Fun fact. That's great to know. Sure. I came my kids a lot of crammed event. This kid already tips from Julie bone give your kids, booze. Julie, thank you so much for stopping by. We love you. That's the kind of high-powered show biz. We hear on the relevant the Wadia. That's crazy. Yeah. Why did you get someone to co host who is more popular now if only you could get her for an interview? I know. He's a friend and I asked her to do an interview on the show is absolutely radio. Silence I didn't hear back from very busy tonight. She just shows up to see the show like no, not to see the show that be on the show. Of course, Julie's also very close friends, co workers with Eric Stonestreet. One of the most popular interviews it's ever been on the report. But she informs that we're not going to get shit faced drunk like our extol street, and I did. I think she's quite frankly afraid. Well, she should be look. What I've done depends for God's sakes. He's drinking shots, green stuff, eating pigs, and. It is celebrity birthday time. Now all these stars born on this day, September fifteenth. Tommy Lee Jones is seventy two years old today share a birthday with him. His good pal. Oliver Stone, movie directors also seventy-two drummer, Kelly. Neagh of a band called night ranger is sixty six years old guys. Remember night ranger. Boogie nights. Exploded as Meyer. Those guys are just rocking county. Fair right. Now, you know that. No come on. Not play in the forum tonight. Right. Josh, Charles from the good wife, real touted actor. He is forty seven years old today. Another drummer from rocks history, Mitch door of a band called Crash Test Dummies fifty, eight years old today, guys, never Crash Test Dummies. This song by the way that was on the radio and the lyrics in case you missed it. Ziggy of music. That's. Our. Follow super amount. Oh. actor, Tom hardy of the duck die rises forty one years old today from the hills. Heidi Montag is thirty two years old today. They're coming back to. They're going to do the hills again intervene. Yeah, I'm so glad reality stars get a second bite at the apple. I'm glad they make more money. Glad, Spencer and Heidi your back together. Again, they deserve it. They do. They're very talented in great. They're awesome for fuck sake. And DJ k. g. from Bank called naughty by nature also raises today you down with p. No Addy talent. Other people's data shows or. Wow. Right finally that mystery is solved. Thanks, Eddy. Nailed it. Any are you sure? Are you going to be out this? I'm right. See. I saved it for the live show. Thank you so much. Hold on one second. Yeah, just like a yellows name sometimes now is a moment that I've been looking forward to since we started this, God damn show. When I first started putting this show together, I announced that I was going to do it before it happened, and I got an Email literally out of the blue from the UK and there was a guy who said I've been where you are. I was also the third guy in a radio show and they counted on me to produce a lot of content. And then suddenly I was out on my ass and I've been a TV presenter as they say in the UK a TV host. And he said, I've done comedy, and he said, I feel for you, and I appreciate what you're trying to do. And I heard you doing your own show. I would like to volunteer my services. I will call in a couple times a week, and I will give you a UK update if you're interested. This guy didn't know me from anyone had no reason to to reach out the way he did and give me this kindness, but he was the first recurring segment that ever happened on the round for port and to this day few. You people make me laugh as hard as this man does. One of the reasons we're here tonight because he said, I'm going to be in Chicago, which is kind of close to Los Angeles. If you do a live Ralph report show, I will fly myself from Chicago to Los Angeles for the night to do your show, and then I'll fly myself back to Chicago so we can give the folks alive, Ralph report if you're interested, he is an enormously kind gifted. Funny, man, please welcome. Steve, Ashton, everybody. Steve, come back, bad. You gotta come back back here so we've got, we've got to do the show. That's what we have. Steve one time we hit that one more time. Maybe I'll see you went to. I went to the back. That been the back now. The introduction, Steve. Going up, stay speak. Ladies and gentlemen, Steve Ashdod one more time. One, two, three. Yes. John house, Steve. Thanks so much for being here for doing this. Are you correspondent happy to have you, sir? I'm really pleased to be here a low. I'll be honest with you. Jesus Christ im Hof cut because I've been waiting for fucking about two hours. In. Mike, you guys go on a bit. Ralph Ralph said, we'll probably do like an hour, something like that. It's like three hours. You know what? I, this is my first time I have no idea. I thought you'd come in be are closer and now and then you're, you're the guy, you're the one we're gonna finish up with your the big town, help your expectations very. So we got steep bring us is you k. his UK update live for us and I am very excited. We've got some video. We've got things to talk about. It's going to be fun. So Ralph, you'll the man. He makes Josh Broglie like Joe GATT. Thank you. Stay what's going on in your world? Backstage Hollywood. Like the first time I met Ralph was about like January February, something that. And I was, I was so struck by the thickness of I do. I do have popped by forearms to invest where the whole you make the thing looked like the thing comes from. Yes, that's because I'm a manly man. Yeah, you know, from all the porn, that's why my risks are so thick. Small, the wanking is you folks call it over there in the UK I trade off from both ad, so I get equal thickness in both risks because the left on feels like somebody else. Right? That's right. Yes. All right. Social Wilson's in news sir. Elton's their relatives, love surreal to, right. So in the UK there's this whole big thing right way. It's rely the Super Bowl halftime ads. So around Christmas, the big UK retail is like monk suspensive, you heard about Spencer, right? Yeah, they have places. Hey, right, sometimes apple. Okay. Steve. It's not fair that I'm the only one that has. I know we gotta get more. It's not fair at all feel your pain that they, it hurts. The slightest fucking thing. You must feel so paranoid every time you open your mouth, you just got to open it and let it fly out. That's you have to do. So there's a big thing in the UK by the big retailers, they have this kind of competition who has the best Christmas TV, and it's usually Mark suspense. Joan Lewis, very kind of, but Elson Jones being recruited by John Lewis, and apparently they paid five million pounds to use Elton Johm. Wow. How much did he make for the Snickers commercial Dino probably somewhere in the reach of life. Maybe five million, which is a pounds, which is around four hundred million dollars. Things that bad over there. Now. York on AMIS it through the fucking flow. Right. So although no, hey, because like Puckett cigarettes cost, like full hundred dollars. You shouldn't smoke, it's bad for you. I only smoked rubbed too hot. You waiting for the back of the room to get that one. Carry on. It's almost tight Matz hauling. Why been single seventies. So anyway, so he's doing he's doing a disad. They paid him five pounds and part of the the using your song, the very famous, wonderful, some that he doesn't want to most famous songs an apartment. They source close to to the fuck says it's Tanja, but also very sweet fellows out some from child through his teenage years into how he is today on the outage that John Lewis wanted to win the battle of the Christmas TV ads this year, cost them significant. Some they wanna blow mocks suspense out of the wolves. The news is somewhat controversial. However, because. John Lewis is a particularly not doing particularly well financially in recent months they've made over two thousand employees redundant. So of course, when else for comment l. e. this week's or else publicist issued the following statement. Fuck. Yes. Yes. Indeed. Just playing the hits. Absolutely. Just playing the hits. And what's can only be described as a cabal of comes. It's a different word over there. People just relax. They don't understand something to my mom says, all right, when when I thought her up. It's like Honey, trimming. Yes, charman yes. Title Switzer. Oh, faster. You'll nemesis. Ed Sheeran their pals. Now they hang out all the time. They've made the news type in hanging out s- they apparently outs on a hike in the Nashville woods, and they've been teasing each of the about the nominations for the AMA's his quick clip John. We have some video. Okay. Title the AMA nominations just came out. It's me you and Drake, you're gonna get. Tricks. Called exercise. Have you ever done cardio. Strumming a guitar doesn't count. End up like the Blair witch project. I hope I hope. Where's a drone strike when you need one? Right? So she she, she's teasing cheer in about not doing right, but in shavings defense, yes. In share defense. Where's I thought? I'd never hear from you? She's hardly yum. Ping like a fucking marine right, seize breath. Yeah, but my view is the reason why they up there in the woods. It's because they've been sacrificing babies. Sure. That's. That's the reasonable conclusion. It's clearly the only reason for that fucking continuous. I agree. Chicken in that picking out dough, that's on the crossroads they've Celt Celt to the devil, Amy. Gotcha. So I mean, that's kind of show update update from the not want to if you don't mind. I am. I supposed to guys earlier on. I. I'm launching a, I'm trying to might my first movie. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. Very exciting. Been spy it by working with you, and I appreciate being here and being allowed to come over and hang out. This is this kick-starts all Email out the the addressable, put it on the website. So I'm making. It's it's kind of I like to think that it's. Trying to make a difference to society. So we'll find kickstarts his a sizzle reel for it's quite Suffolk spun three anyway, a film by Steve Ashton. Here's my worried. Wow, that is touching that is very touching. Nice work. The world needs to know. The world needs to know why cold and shy. I'm saying this because for ten years I've had to suffer this insufferable come. Just let you guys have just like you have your name, assists nemesis. Multiple multiple? Yes. Colton is one of mine. I just because the go-to is get Nike right belly. Yeah. He's like a fucking English. Jimmy. Falon. No talents and simply ingratiates himself with people fumble talented than he is. Some reason unto fucking full chewed gets critical acclaim for its gets movie roles, voice of which he fucking terrible. Success by. But if I right, exactly. Well, laugh. Think that when you go at James corden and all your other nemesis is well, I think that's why we're such kindred spirits because we're too haters from different countries. I know it's a pleasure to be in the same room with. I know I'm like you with a much. She'll to Korea. You said shorter a coffee create. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I haven't been anywhere near the level of success you file to bone simple times. Well, you're not failing with my friends and my listened to this because you are one of their favorite moments every time you do one of your segments. Thank you. In fact, I just got this Email this week from Brian spiker. He sent this in love, you love Steve, Ashton. His impersonation of Paul McCartney masturbating is the best thing I've ever heard in my entire life. You're doing the Lord's work. Garmin strong l. m. b. which is not stand for lick my balls by the way that's love. You mean it by one of you would do as the great pleasure since you're doing the hits of doing sir, Sir. Paul McCartney I think it was, I think, is when he was so. Sure. If come together would be a better come on flux up. He goats. Remember the lyrics now. Go to right now ova me short thoughts such a good example. Open open. Because you're from Liverpool, you're from the Beatles fan right there. I heard a rumor about you. Maybe you can clear this up or not where you know the band verve the verve. They did a song called bitter sweet symphony. They had a one hit. Wonder what that song did. You have connection to that band. So I was in the bunt until I was the drummer shit. Were you in the pan when they had that hits on? No, no, no many as before that. So I was the best of the verve. That's. I wish feedbacks. I was the guy before pizzas. I was like, Darren Williams, whatever fucking wish. At least Pete best is still making money off being. That's true. Yeah, you have a complaint about those of us here in the states. Now we know British actors are brilliant, and there's many British actors who often play American roles because they're just excellent at mimicking, the American accent, you have a claim saying that Americans can't do a British accent. Is that true on the hull? Yes. I mean, you're, you're pretty good on the how that terrible. You mentioned that you might want to do a contest tonight. You wanna do a little contest car. You have something. Are you have something. What do you think about Ralph's criticize accent whose rows it's pretty good, but he taxi, that's the thing. Whenever you do an impression on, you've got to tack it, right. You've got to really kind of go into it when he does show on you really attack, say, thank you. I do. Yeah, do attack it because I've got a license to kill. Show Connery's from Edinburgh, which is slightly more English if he was from Glasgow, if James Holmes from Glasgow a little bit more like. My name's Vulcan bond. JAMES BOND. My sister killed by the way. Fucking can me. You'll fucking nicest folks show up. That. Whereas coteries more she slight anymore English, right? Yeah. Americans America's call do English accents. We could go back through history about them many, many times and there also crappy English. Axes, it cell, but does not good English accent. That's true. But are we doing those yet? Well, we thought it'd be fun to have a couple of people before we go into the other room and do our meeting greet before we say goodbye to maybe have a couple of people try in English accent and if there are any good, we'll give hope I have very little. All right. All right. This is anybody in the room with things they can do a British accent, come on up to the stage. We'll take the first three people. If you do anything half asked, we'll give you a price. There's somebody here. Your strike. Well, that's practically English anyway. British accent little bit right here even the microphone and we're going to let everyone berates you the way I Eddie. Before you saw. In your mind, try not to sound confused because most of the time it's, oh, how reports everything? So. Harry Tulsa festival do take said Harry, Tulsa festival. Second. Now, I don't know what to say. Now primary had little lamb how my lamb whose fleece was why is smoke. Everybody that married went, the lamb was show to go, oh. Are you British talk, regular, talk, regular, talk, right healer. I love you rows. That was pretty good. I'm gonna give you a shoebox funk over that. Okay. That was pretty good. You see a single bit lie, south London kind of accent. Wouldn't it? Yes. Right. Do you have people from south under people from south London? No. Are you ruining. Doing eight. Saying that you just say. No, I'm all confused too. Like you said, if people say, oh, where we go, we'll do that at all. All right. Who else who's got one anybody else? Got one come on up to the stage raise. You have prices. Stand up, get up here there. Yeah, we got a got a hand up. You gotta make a move all night. Come on. I have. We go over here over here buddy. Where do you? Where are you going? We're over here on the stage. There's nowhere over this is not going to end well for anyone era bowl too. This is a horrible choice on your part. I have very little hope for you. You're a bit drunk. You were going to go to the kitchen and do an impression for the cook. All right. British accent, go. Alao day go. Oh, dear. That was accurate. Funke Funke off. Get the fuck out of here. I wish you had gone to the kitchen. You should give them some food for the walk back. Yeah. Need a sherpa guide that, right. We have Mary Poppins one more one. All right. Is our last contested right here he go. Here you go. Practically perfect in every way. All very good. Go, you got to get a DVD. You get an aqua man. Like, do they go. Sure you will enjoy that. Practically perfect. Mary Poppins, Mary Poppins. I'm so glad to say. Yeah. Oh, look to me. Chalk drawings here on the sidewalk governor. Look at Mary Poppins breath flowing through. Food here. Is there food here? Are you hungry? Do you want to Bano? I do have more snacks. Oh, right one more snack. All right, one more snack, and then we're going to call tonight one more snack. What do you got caviar? Oh yeah. What I'm talking about. We are a high class show. We're going to go out on a high note a little caviar for everyone. Steve. Are you a caviar fan. Anything God bless you, sir. You're the anti Pence, your alley, anything. Tonight's. Hurting ladies. He's single. Hey, what's single single guy in LA. All right. Everyone's going to have a little caviar and then we're going to say, good night. How about Eddie. Have you had caviar before? So let's just, you know what? It's a delicacy. Deep art comes from the Caspian Sea. It is very, very ex- from sturgeon fish. This caviar is from the Santa Monica, pier. I picked it up here very quickly. It's delicious. It's buttery creamy, salty seaworthy. And so what we're gonna do is we're gonna take this. I think you're good with this, right? This is it's a pancake, just a very simple. True. I wish we had little waffles wall us. How about how about cream. Cream fresh. It's cream at cream. Now you said earlier you like stuff that comes from a cow, right? Yeah. So. Right? Yeah. So we're halfway there. I don't know. Now I'm just going to break you in very gently Optima big spoonful. Come on. The last. This is the last bit. We're gonna load it up. That's like five thousand fish died for this jar. How many fish died for this fucking jar? Not even one. Not even one. Potato pancake cream fraiche which is full cream topped with fish eggs. A beautiful way to get out. Stick the whole thing just go for. That's gross dude. It's not. It's not. It's not grow. It's blue. It's not blue. It's black, it's blue. It's black. Whatever came out of your mouth afterwards was blue Dement shit. Maybe. Am I right? Really good. All delicious. Thank you sweetheart. Please help me thank my friends and family who put this show together each and every day. Amazingly funny Mr. skeeve Askin my lovely wife Terry, Watson Garmon my vice host Mr.. Eddie pets. I have your podcast Powell. Ralph Garman. Thank you so much for coming out tonight. Everybody.
The Ralph Report
Aired 4 months ago 62:59
TRR209 11 12 18 - Family Guy - Jack Daniel's - The Grinch
Hey, they're Ralph garment here, and thanks so much checking out this free Monday edition of the Ralph report if you like what you hear do me a favor. Subscribe to the Ralph report, so we can put some fun in your ears five days a week. We're not just here on Mondays Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and Friday as well. And you can listen for as little as three dollars a month. So subscribed today. So, you know, miss out on any of the fun. Go to patriotdepot dot com slash the RAF report and sign up. Welcome to the Ralph report with Ralph Garmon. They they're girls. Welcome to the Ralph report from Monday, I know sorry. But it's nothing I can do about that. But we can try to make your Monday a little bit better. I, of course in your podcast, pal. Ralph garment and sitting here in the vet cave with me is the vice host himself Mistretta Pence. Happy Veterans Day everybody. Happy Veterans Day everybody. Not everybody has off my kids at school. I know your kids out. Yeah. My kids out today. So so I gotta go do stuff. And what it means? It'd be a parent kid doesn't love America or something. I know what's going on. Anyway, depends congratulations. You're your powerhouse. Washington. Redskins were able to topple the mighty bucket here today gave up five hundred one yards of offense. That was not allowed three points that it's insanity defense really made the made the day sailing for that team. Yeah. Crazy, then the turnovers at the end, it was all it was all just it was it was ugly. I couldn't imagine being a buccaneers. Those poor best. Oh my God. However, my Philadelphia Eagles did not rise to the challenge. And it is always bad for me. It always makes it for a bad Monday for me when the eagles lose. But when they lose to the fuck and Cal brought oh man, especially this Cowboys team just getting getting me to the microphone today was no small feat. There was an eight ball involved. And there's been some Jackson's some Viagra. You get your dirty eagles jersey. You'll get the bad superman and superman through throwing in the garbage. I'm gonna go fight myself in a junk yard. But let's get onto other things. Like today's show at chock full of stuff today is just some of the things we're gonna talk about today. We have course, we'll be doing all the entertainment news in just a minute. My kid Livia Garmin will be stepping in with Livy at the movies. She's going to do her review of the Grinch again. Call nice all the Greenwich to who. Did I play on family guy last night? Well, we'll be talking about that as well. And then today is the first chapter of my week long series of interviews with comedian Bobby Slayton, one of the legends one of those guys who's just been doing it in clubs for thirty years. Bulla comedy the pit bull of comedy as he is known. Good friend of mine. Bobby always makes me laugh, and we had a really interesting conversation. You'll hear it all this week. Okay. Let's get things started by talking to you folks, the garment who are kind enough to reach out and send us suggestions comments ideas for segments. Without you participating this show would not be what it was. You can always reach me at Ralph at the Ralph report. Dot com. I read every single Email. Eddie also is available at Eddie at the route report dot com, you can check in or you can leave a message at the route report hotline like many of you, do, you know, the number by now, it's one eight three three south can always reach me there. I hear them all I listened to every one of them can always get back to everyone. But occasionally like grab a fistful of calls that you left behind on the voice mail and start the show off with them. And that's what we're going to do today. This comes from John. And I gotta say I knows a little self serving. But it felt good to get a little love from the army, and John certainly was there for us in a big way. Hey, Ralph John from of here. I just wanted to say thank you for all the concept, but putting up all the hardware. You guys have put in just for fifteen cents a show. I might add which is what we're it. Anyway, I really liked that he takes his from the fans you segment based on calls and what they want to hear. I really like the progression of this show. All the stuff that you guys been doing keep up the good work. And I home the senior from first time at the live show, if nobody raking it'd be great maybe we can actually meet up with out there. Get you a good drink of whiskey anyways. Keep up the good work, man. How nice John's nice. It was such a such a nice call to get John. And really appreciate want. Anything you need anything just full. Nope. Say Tiki nice things about just a nice call. And I hope you see you at the live shows. Well, John for folks who haven't heard yet we are doing yet. Another live the route report in front of a live audience record, the podcast live with me and Pence and Steve Ashton from the UK will be there. My wife Carrie, we'll be there. It all happens at the improv in Irvine California down in Orange County, California, the improv in Irvine is the late show on Friday September seventh the Sumba some a date which will live in infamy. It's going to live in infamy for for another reason on December seventh so come on out and join us you can go to improv dot com. Click on locations click on her von click on event calendar. And that's where you can get your tickets. A lot of folks. Speaking of listeners calls a lot. People sometimes reach out to be and say, why do you reset the segment so often why do you explain what the segments are? And and why you're doing them and what they entail. Here's the thing. We get new listeners all the time and not everybody's been around since the beginning to know exactly the format of the show and what the segments are. And why we do what we do case in point. This message was left by Josaia in Vegas. And he had a question about a couple of things. I guarantee wondering about you origin. I gathered I got a few different meanings and Canadian pretty much, whatever whatever you want, but danvers by. And I came from. But then also. When did he get him to say, how did he become vice host of love they here these explanations? Thanks, if I from Las Vegas, Nevada. I'm be. All right. You don't even know. What Ellen be means? You're using your brave brave, man. Jobs is new the show. He wants to know a couple of things about it L M B where does that come from? Well, if you listen to the end of each show Josiane, I sign off my saying love, you mean it by love you L M mean it beat by. And I started signing off my emails that way and one time I signed off an Email L M B exclamation point. And the person I was writing to thought I was telling them to lick. That's why that misinterpretation now has become the standard here for the show. Although Ellen be yes can mean many things it could mean love my brain. We heard one lady earlier last week lick my balls lick my boobs that can mean many things never has an L. And and a in Ryan, whatever you so you can play with that yourself and come up with thrown meaning, but technically it's supposed to be love. You mean it by? That's what that means. And where did Eddie Pence come from? Well, I started doing this show by myself. And I thought I would do a different tone different kind of show something sort of more quiet more thoughtful, less rambunctious lasts, less smart, alecky, all the things that I'm known for and other venues like Hollywood Babylon or on the radio, I thought I'd do a different side of me on this show. And no one was interested in that side of me, quite frankly, people kept recommending, you know, you would be better. If you had someone to talk to stuff off of maybe make fun of on occasion, ni- offer that in quantity and Eddie pens. When I looked at the. List of things I needed to fill those fulfill those obligations. Eddie, pens, his name just came to the top of the list. And that's why he joined me, I don't know how how many hundred episodes ago started into may. I believe it's crazy how times flying by. So that's where the vice house comes from designs. So now, you're completely caught up. Now you and the rest of the garment you're on the same page. Welcome to the show. Speaking of new elements of the show, you know, Darren are Scottish listener whose left messages loved air. You're not alone. A lot of people of Darren, especially the ladies the ladies love Darren here comes a call Regan recommending a new segment on the show. Hey Ralph in Eddie. I had a suggestion cannot Scottish guy. You know, maybe call in every day chase something. I think the last time I heard that my head to rewind it three times because it was you know, really nice or maybe Eddie can have phone sex with. Him window that would be that would be that would be. No, it wouldn't. It would it would just it would be it would just be crossing the street. Yeah. You don't want to ever cross. The streams one guy would be getting a moist the other guy be drying you out. He would be would just be a push. It could be your body weight. You know, upside to that at all, however Darren is quickly becoming a sensation. The ladies love Darren and Darren if you're out there and reach out to me, send me an Email at Ralph the Ralph report dot com, we need to set up some sort of regular just take a call up and just say three syllable words. Well, here's the thing. Are you get correspondent Steve Ashton sent me a note over the weekend saying here's an idea for a new segment just have Darren just like reading greedy greediness off the back of a like a salad dressing bottles. Read stuff g could just just doesn't even matter. What he's saying? He just has to nunciate words. So we're gonna we're gonna work something out with Darren. But don't worry. We we're hearing you ladies, we know you want more Darren, and we're going to do our best to do that for you. Speaking of Steve Ashton. He often chastises me. And apparently rightly so for not yet having watched the show peaky blinders which is a British show about the the British mob. It's on Netflix or something. Yes, it is. I think it's a BBC show see show, and you can find it on. Flex, and I've heard from other people, and it's terrific as well. He always recommends it I watch it. He's very upset with me that I haven't watched it. I promise I'm going to get around to it. But no one is as upset with me about now watching peaky blinders as Bridget. Wrap. This is Bridget formerly of Long Island, four star general here, I got to tell you. I'm disappointed Tiki fucking blinders. You haven't watched Tiki fucking blinders. What is wrong with you? You need to watch. It. It is fucking awesome rate shows sneak to watch amazing fantastic, watch peaky fucking blinders. I love you need at by feeling Carmella sopranos yelling at me over the phone like instinctually leaning backwards. She doesn't sound like she's from Long Island. All does she. Oh, wait a minute. Wow. Frigid. All right. I hear you peaky. Fucking blind us feel like Tony soprano come on. Why are you yelling at me four? All right. I'll Alicia I watched the show. We also got some people complaining about the saxophone debate. We were doing it was national saxophone day. What was our debate about it? I didn't know was as bait at the time was I played some John Coltrane for for saxophone day. And I thought that would suffice. Yeah. One of the great sack. Jess excellent players of all the sample. Then we had a call. There was very sick. With me saying you needed to play Baker street by Gerry Rafferty because that was the greatest pop song saxophone solo you did time, and I played a little this. We agreed said yes that is a genius. A pop song use of saxophone there. And I thought we could just let it lie there. No, no, no. I was very wrong. Hero. I was just calling in about the whole saxophone does song ever come on careless. Whisper is the sexiest song of all time. If amazing anybody who doesn't think so can look my inner balls interval by she's a woman drop to divert inner bowl the sexiest song of all time by the ways. Awesome. And look. Okay. All right. I didn't know you like you. This is the greatest saxophone song of all types. Just I can't everyone has okay there you go. The ranch is not wrong that is super sexes super sexy. So we have bigger street, and cares are let's let us just all agree to disagree. And they're all good song every everyone good favorites excellence on and you play it on your own. No, no. This is just opened up a can of worms. Now, we're going to be dealing with these repercussions for for weeks to come. Jason. Also left us voicemail message. I thought this was an interesting topic. And I wanna get your opinion on this to Eddie because my opinion on this subject has shifted some and we'll talk about loca. Hey ralph. Hi, Eddie, Jason sippy. And I had a question when is it appropriate to put up my Christmas, ornaments and my life. In the south. We have people that are already starting to do it. I want your input on this like my balls by. Now, look your Christmas ball. I like how it goes up at the. It is that time of year. It is post. Thanksgiving, which is the gray areas. Like when is it too soon to decorate for Christmas and to start to celebrate with all the lights and the decorations put the rethought on the door and put the flayed Ables up on the lawn and get your tree up. When is it too soon? What is the sweet spot for decorating for Christmas? And I used to bitch and moan for many years of people who started to early I used to think that the beginning of November was just too early little that that November twenty fifth through December twenty fifth that month was plenty of time to have your your holiday decorations up. However, I have altered my opinion that I believe now that the beginning of November is completely acceptable. And I'll tell you why it happened when I became a dad watching my kids reaction to the decorations going up for Christmas the Christmas music starting to being played watching her enjoy that stuff for me now has become such a source of joy myself. That I could I can easily go a month and a half yet not have. And they they can't get enough of it. They really can't. They don't get. It doesn't get old for them. They don't get tired after Kris was my kids still likes. Listen to Christopher's where I am. Just like you gotta stop setting on edge. I can't hear Holly jolly Christmas one more goddamn time. So I used to be a real Scrooge a real Grinch, pardon the expression about that stuff and bitch and moan that the stores started putting decorations up right after Halloween, but now I've sort of mellowed and I've crossed over to side. And I'm okay when I was a kid, we always did it the night after thanksgiving. That's when we would was Mike. Decorate. And that's the way it always was. Yeah. When I got older lived on my own I would start decorating around thanksgiving. But and then what's had a kid. He starts listening Christmas music in September. And I have to put like a chi-. I can't deal. You got it. You got November one my role with him was like okay after Halloween you can do Christmas. Yeah. That's that's where I've had to set it now. So it's Halloween up until October thirty first, and then we have we can do Christmas after that. So Jason is probably not the answer you sound like he was he was kind of chap asked that folks in his neighbor who already putting up their local radio station just start playing Christmas music this weekend, four seven okay with that. I really am just early November for me is. Okay. Nothing pre Halloween nothing pre eleven one. That's that's my cut off. All right. That's your answer. Speaking of Christmas. It is one of Christmas is involved with one of the three things. I learned this weekend, you know, over the weekend. I keep tabs. I try to keep my eyes open. And if I'm learning anything new I bring it in and talk about it on Monday show, and I did pick up a few things. Over the weekend. So it's time for the top three things. I learned this weekend. Top three things I've learned this weekend. Number three number three does have to do with Christmas. And I found this out this weekend. And I gotta say I feel like a kid at Christmas. I could not be more excited for this item. I didn't know this was the thing until till this weekend. There is a brand new advent calendar, you know, what an advent calendar is where you get caught in a LEGO whenever year. There you go every day. There's new little an advent calendar is a counter the counts down the days to Christmas, and you open up the little door and usually inside of it. There's a little message or sometimes gift or a piece of candy or something. But it's a little tradition where every day leading up to Christmas starting on the first of December first up to the twenty fifth you kind of open fourth through that calendar. And that's your countdown count. It's got an advent calendar for those who aren't familiar I've just found out this weekend. That Jack Daniels has made. Tennessee, whiskey. Advent calendar is twenty three days of mini bottles of Jack Daniels inside of it you open up a door. And there's a little mini bottle of Jack Daniels in there, and it had it covers all the different variations of Jack Daniels. Got the the Tennessee Honey, the Tennessee fire the gentleman's, Jack all the different kinds of Jack that many flavors exactly twenty three or not. I would think maybe they would have to double down on a couple of them, which is all right by me. But the fact that there's what they call the festive whiskey calendar makes just my Christmas that much merrier. So if anyone's looking for a gift, you know, what to get your old pal? Ralph great if you skip a few days, and you can just double up I forgot about Wednesday, but they're just those many airplane. I show. Ever put that in my breakfast in the morning phase me anymore. That's the third thing. I learned this week. And here's number two mil murder to you know, I mentioned the last week. My wife is out of town. She's still outta town. She left me forever. No. She left me on Wednesday. I want to say Tuesday Wednesday night. She's been it's been if it's practically we she will be going too weak by time. It's all said and done. So I am fulltime dad as well. As doing the route report, which has been a bit of a challenge, but over the weekend, it was awesome. Because I got full blown daddy daughter time all weekend long, Saturday Sunday. It was just me in Libya hanging out doing a ton of stuff laughing our ass off having a blast one of things we've done we did this weekend. Was go bowling nice. And I have to say I forgotten how great bowling it's one of the great activities. You can do as a human beings. Really? It's one of the reasons that we have opposable thumbs. I think so that we can throw a bowling ball. So we can put that third hole. We can fill that third hall with our thumbs it is one of my favorite things to do. And I rarely get a chance to is. It's one of the things you forget about until you. Let's go bowling you. Why do I do this all the time? I can't remember the last time. I was that happy when I was in the middle of bowling with my kid, first of all it's great for kids because they can do it because I got the bump in the gutters. Everything gets down to the end of the end of the lane. I was having a blast. I used to be on a bowling league league in junior high school. I was on a bowling league. You have the shirt and everything we had law and yards. Four of us. We were a team, and we would have my own balls lane. Wasn't that much of a commitment? It was more just hang out with my buddies than it was. Kind of bowl. But I just remember the camaraderie and just the joy of that activity. And I just had I don't know why I stopped. I just stopped bowling. I hadn't bowled in years. And then to go again with my kid this weekend. Just kind of reminded me. Well, first of all, it's one of the great drinking sports you can drink and bowl. Yeah. Pretty much. And that is any sport you can actually imbibe alcohol while you're doing it is okay mine didn't like many golf can drinking. How you hold your beer, you just walk over the cart and grab a beer have the beer out on the les, son. His heat just no air conditioning indoors the call button. The waitress comes and brings his stuff. Nachos beer, whatever you want. It's the great drinking's man's sport. Really is. I mean, there's like darts and pool and bowling onto but bowling crushes it. So we got to do some sort of Garm e bowling event or something that'd be fun or rent out an entire bowling alley. And we'll get all the lanes, and we'll do some sort of garment meet up bowling every maybe a charity thing or something whatever I'm just undetermined now, not to surrender my love of bowling. Army bowling shirt? I've been I've been reintroduced to my love of bowling, and I'm gonna hang on that was number two number one. And the number one thing, and I say this every time my wife has to go someplace I take over as the full time caregiver to my kid. But let's never forget and take for granted. What a. Incredibly difficult job. It is to be a fulltime parent. My wife, God bless her. She she gave up working she doesn't work anymore. She's just her job is just to take care of us and the home and my kid, and she does a remarkable job with it. And anyone who thinks that isn't just the hardest thing in the world is just an idiot. Yeah. Anyone who looks down on someone who's a full time caregiver for a child or running a household is a fool because it's it's so much more taxing than just doing. It's one of the things you have to completely give of yourself. Yes completely. And we're talking physically physically, mentally, everything your focused cannot waiver. If you're doing a good job at being a fulltime parent. And I say this every time my my wife's away, and I have to take care of my kid fulltime, which is a joy, by the way. I'm also very jealous of my wife that she gets to do this all the time. But at the end of day, I'm like ready, but my head on the pillow. Wow. Yeah. So as much as I may say, you know, that the Ralph report is a lot of work. It's it's it's become once again, crystal clear to me that that taking care of my daughter and getting to school and taking care of afterwards. And getting the homework done and just getting her hair done. I mean, there's just a million things you got a kid be there to answer. What questions they have? And again, it's the job in the world. But it is all consuming, it is all consuming. So a salute to all the fulltime moms and dads out there who are take care of their kids and doing a great job at it. Because it really is the hardest job you'll ever love is as to say about the army, but I can't I can't give my wife enough credit, and hopefully, she's listening to this in Miami Beach, why she's laying by the pool relaxing. She knows what she comes on. It's game on the top three things. I learned this weekend. All right. Let's take a look at the counter here in the bat cave wall to take a look at all the holidays that are societas with today. Monday, November twelfth, you know, each and every day of the calendar does have a bunch of holidays to it. We break them down for you in a segment we call holiday or holiday. Lease. We celebrate. Then I it is Veterans Day. Yesterday was officially veteran member eleventh. Member eleventh honored or observed today on the first Monday following that date and veteran's day is the official United States holiday that honors those who have served in the US armed forces. And it also coincides with Armistice Day and remembers as a couple of around the world where people take time out to remember the folks who fight for their countries and today's no exception event, thank them for their service, and my dad's served, I know, your parents dads, are my brother served families father in law serve you. So thank them for everything that they did. For us today is also national pizza with the works except for anchovies. Actually thing. I am not I don't mind Jovis on pizza or not eating pizza. My kid. My eight year old daughter loves ancho. There's very salty. Right. Isn't that the thing that really salty he asked, but they're also pretty fishy. Taste very much like fish like a sardine. She a salty flavor. Thank you. And that is one of my kids few requests when we get a pizza. She can give or take a lot of stuff, but she she asked the anchovies. But apparently a lot of people feel the way you do because the holiday literally is named a national pizzas with the works except for intial day today. It's also fancy rat. And mouse day with with the fancy read a fancy rat in a fancy mouse Eddie is the differentiation between the domesticated rat. And mouse that you have as a pet versus the one that's going through the garbage in in the dumpster behind the difference. The difference is the cage is what you're no not at all there. Are bred to be pets, and they are remarkable pets, and I for the longest time have wanted to have a red as a pet, and my wife simply will not allow and I try to explain to her the difference between the domesticated rat and mouse versus the wild rat mouse. And she cannot see the diff- when they see that tail. No, no detail rats, the fancy rat is very intelligent, very affectionate makes a great pet. They're clean. They're easy to keep. They're not like a dog or cat where you have to do a whole lot of stuff to and you can teach them to do stuff. They're smart you can train. What would you teach a fancy rat to do sit on your shoulder to climate your arm like a bridge and get your shoulders? That's just walking up your arm. It's surival, but they teach each. If you set it on your arm. It's going to walk down it. They know you gonna fall off walk. Walk on. You're you're you're giving too much credit. I'm not at all I've seen rats do this. They don't come. When you're when they're called spied. If you put a spider on your finger. It's gonna walk up your arm sit. There bite you dumbest thing I've ever heard rats are easily trained easily train. They're super intelligent. Easily trained by Ron. And Midland your colon those gerbils, anyway, they're very smart and affectionate and they make ideal pets. Sadly, I can't have trae dog up your we're going to hear from rally fan. I know and I'm going to turn them all on you. It's Eddie at the rough report dot com and also leave your voice messages, if you Arete lover and teach Eddie a thing or two intelligence into walk. I didn't say walk your. Your. It's ridiculous. Why is this? Comes off the table goes up your arm and comes on your shoulder. Do a line kick. That's yeah. That's teaching online kick. What are you gonna make a rock rockets that would be something? But walk up your arm is like, okay, you're walking. You don't know. I think I'd do. And then lastly, you know, I love to keep the food oriented holidays for the last because it's always a challenge to see whether he will eat it or not to fund game. You can play at home will Eddie eat this or not and today's I gotta tell you, and I'm going to be accused of lugging too many foods, but this is one of my favorites. I gotta say so today is. Your fantasy witches who isn't. This is maybe one of the other than my beloved Philly cheese steak. I always go for. French dep. The French dip sandwich today is national French dip day for those who aren't familiar with the French dip. It is hot tender slices of beef or pork sliced very thin and then put on a French roll. But then you get a big bowl of L June next to it that juicy gravy that you just dip hence the name French dip, right? And there's actually got spicy mustard is sometimes there's some cheese on there. And then you just shout down on that French dip sandwich. One of the greats. At depends. Will you eat it or not? Yes. The French go shocking. It is shocking. We'll eat fried do like a friendship sandwich. How's that pot? I don't know. I'm I don't know. I do I would eat one. It's always a surprise. It is. I had Philip ace. Let's flip is Phillip as is the place in Los Angeles notes. Phillipe's I guess to leave its downtown near USC. No, I've never had. It is. I'm trying to think nineteen thirties. Maybe it was established. It's one of the oldest restaurants in Los LA doesn't hold onto its or its restaurant. Yes. This place has been around forever. And felipe. I think it's phillipe's is the legendary home of the French tips. Check that out sometime. Yeah. It's a great place to do a good friendship. Will there you go? Hosa this. It must be christmassy Christmas miracle should just start saying I like everything. So I don't eat it for you camera or a life. Well, look, you've said enough things that you don't let backlog of things to feed this just clicked in my head that I should've been known this all along feel free. You know, if you wanna lie you're gonna lie for a living. Now, you want to be one of those guys honesty's the best part? If you want to be the Sarah Huckabee Sanders podcast world, then feel free, but I prefer honesty. That's just me. That's holidays or holidays. All right. Let's do what we do every day, which is take a look at all the news in a segment. I call the showbiz beat on Mondays here on the row report. We love to take a look at the top ten movies at the box office. See what people went to see theaters over the weekend. No surprise here. Any went with his kid. I went with mine and a lot of people went to see the Grinch over the weekend came in at number one with sixty six million Colton sheds tears at the end Diddy really really did. I looked over his crying. Happy. I'm like, oh my God. That's sweet. Yeah. That was shocked by it came out of nowhere to what did you think of the film it? I wasn't a huge in of it. I enjoyed it was there's moments I enjoyed, but it was the same thing. Whereas it felt to contemporary to me there's moments where it was just like I did try to make it hip didn't. And that's that's what bothered me about at the most. I think a well we talked about this. When I was playing the trailer on Friday how I didn't care for. I don't know who the remaking of the Grinch song. Yeah. I forget it was for. I know. Air rated it. I forget the artists who did the song. It's another contemporary artists. And it all felt it didn't feel like class. I don't know. It doesn't it doesn't feel like it's going to have legs like a standalone felt very much of its time. Yeah. That's that's the thing about me about. And then you and I are both raised on the classic Christmas TV special the grinches Christmas. And that was very much sort of timeless sense that they did not work in any references to the sixties or any of the stuff where that came. No modern show is whether they felt like they had to do that in order to please the adults in the audience, whatever to do that. But that was distracting that. That's that's the thing about me the most. But my kid loved it. So Mike it loved it too though. And she will do a review of it later on in the show today. However, I gotta say these are my picky point that I didn't really bring up during her review, but I'll bring them up with you. I thought real Williams was a not a good choice to be the narrator. It was distracting to me. He was he's not an actor. He's not doesn't have a very. Commanding or powerful voice. No when you have Benedict Cumberbatch doing brilliant as the Grinch, all the voices, all the people all over our great in the movie, you'd need a an actor of significant power to be the narrator story because the narrator place such a large role in the honestly every time he narrated pulled me out of the filth. Every remember Boris Karloff. Was the raider of the Iraqi Hopkins did the other Grint? Yeah. And that was brilliant as well. But they should have had a Judi Dench remortgaged free. Morgan freeman. I'm body with a commanding voice, and a real some real acting chops to sell this. I can't I don't understand. Why? Very flat. I don't I thought it was a real swing. That's one things about him in the most. Yeah. And I also didn't like the fact that they undercut the Marl of the story which has always been that Christmas is more than just the commercial aspect of the holiday more than what the the boxes and the ribbons and the Bose. I mean, there's that they crates great part of the story that came without ribbons. It came with boxes it came to the maybe maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe just maybe it'd be a little bit Colton even said to me he's like, oh why they leave that line out. It's like it's the line of the story and colon even noticed it. And he loved the movie he looked down on the drive home. He's like the Princeton say that line. Why didn't you say that the guts of that host to reach the reason the story exists and if for kid to notice that that's Hugh? Flummoxed that they they they really soft held. There was a moment where Cindy lose mom says. Oh, it's okay because Christmas is in here. And then they're back to the grant. And the story became about. The fact that Grinch was raised in an orphanage. It didn't have any friends, and that's a nice story to tell to. That's a nice morals that we should be kind and people should be friendly and stuff, but that's not the point of the Grinch story. No. I said why what a swing and a miss that was not include that. And like I said for my nine year old to recognize that and pull it out like, wow, he noticed it wasn't there. And then as I passed the kiosk full of Grinch merchandise in the lobby on the way out. I thought oh, maybe if they're not trying to sell the idea Christmas is in about commercialism. Christmas is a lot commercials. Many. I hop on board with the green paint. That's it's I'm nitpicking here overall. It was really well done. Very entertaining. Cumberbatch is brilliant in it visually. I thought it was terrific. I think my biggest beef other than that was for a Williams narrating just kind of took me out of it. Number two. At the box office was bohemian rhapsody made thirty million dollars this weekend. Overlord was number three nutcracker in the four realms came in at number four with nine point five million dollars. Then the girl in spider's web. The new dragon tattoo story made eight million dollars. That was number five star is born was number six. Nobody's Fool is number seven. Venom came in at number eight Halloween was number nine and the hate you give came in at number ten this weekend. We can chance to talk about it earlier today. But we want to mention the fact that is a lot of folks here in the southern California area who are dealing with these far forest. Fires. Yeah. It's real bad north of LA when I know we have a lot of garment members up there. So I want you to know that we're thinking of you certainly was present in the show business news as well. The bachelor mansion that mentioned shoot all the bachelor and bachelorette shows that apparently was being threatened by those fires all those big beautiful homes. Live their homes, and there's a lot of people are now tries to trying to save animals, horses and Gerard Butler lost his house a lot of people. I know some people say, well, how can I feel sorry for someone who's rich and famous still your life? It's still all your stuff every memories. And it's it's a brutal way to lose everything Ronan wiped out. Yeah. So anyway, keeping a good thought for those people. This was said this was a victim of the fire. The legendary paramount ranch historic western town. The paramount ranch in gory Hills, California was burned to the ground. It was the location for so many classic western films. Alway back to the nineteen thirties. Legendary sesame the mill shot there. Gary cooper. I mean, just you name. John Wayne, I shot up there. We did a TV show called quick draw with John layer. And I played a Marshall, and we shot our episodes up there as well. Westworld was using that as the location tombstone used as there's just so many. Great western convict, Malibu creek canyons danger to and that's where they shop mash. Yeah. So like, all that's just tragic. I mean, literally thousands and thousands of acres destroyed by this fire. So again, we're keeping a good thought for you folks up there, they save that part of southern California has just taken such an emotional beating lately with that shooting up there in Thousand Oaks. And now this fires that are going to friend who lives Malibu, his neighbor lost his son in the shooting and the next night lost his house, my Lord. And you believe I mean, it's unbelievable. Unbelievable. Brutal stuff. If you want to you can donate money to the Red Cross is probably the best charity right now to get money to funnel to the people who are dealing with these tragedies hope if you can. And the sport the firefighters and all the people that are helping brutal stuff. This was scary news to the Billy Joel concert this week. And Joe Perry of Aerosmith came out on stage to do walk this way with Billy Joel. And he walked off the stage. And then collapsed Ono said he looked terrible paramedics rushed into the hospital sixty eight years old, and he was rocking pretty hard. But they had to intubate him clear his airway to get him to breathe again people were really scared that he did not look good. It turns out he went into the hospital, and he had some breathing issues. They said it had to do with congestion of the lungs. He is recovering in the hospital. He could be released you may be released by now already. But apparently he's going to be fine. But it was scary moments for the folks who were there at that, concert and more music news. The White House's announced these seven individuals will be honored. By President Donald Trump with the presidential medal of freedom. This is the highest award that can be given to a civilian in the United States. And it's an interesting batch of people going to be getting it supreme court Justice, Antonin Scalia. Roger Staubach and fell hall of Famer Minnesota supreme court Justice Allen, see page, Orrin Hatch. Babe Ruth will be getting it, posthumously and Elvis Presley. Also will be honored kinda strange. It is strange primarily the middle. Freedom is reserved for people who have contributed to the security or national interests of the United States or to world, peace and Elvis Presley was a was a drug addicted hillbilly. I mean, he did serve right? He did. He did serve contrite. It seems weird to do that now to give that okay? Look Elvis fan. I like his music. His meal. He's much of a hero. Yeah. Four people right now due out of drugs. And I know he liked to watch teenage girls wrestle in their underwear. I know that I mean, maybe he is my hero. Now. I think about it shoot us television said what was on it. I've had that impulse from time to time. Baby Elvis is my hero. Just let it was a strange choice. And speaking of heroes. We talked about the fact that Dan Crenshaw had been mocked by Pete Davidson, sorry, we thought it was out of line. Davidson made fun of him. He when he was looking just looking at the visuals of some of the people who are Republican who are running for office and he mocked him because he was wearing an eye patch. And this guy lost his eye from an E on his third tour, and I've ghanistan for God's sakes. He's a war hero. And we all thought Pete Davidson was out lying, and it was well as mentioned on sorry live this weekend. One of the few times where both the right and the left could agree on something that Pete Davidson was exactly he says, I gotta say to his credit. He took his lumps on Saturday Night Live this week, and he apologized for it. He said he was wrong. And then they brought Dan Crenshaw out during weekend update, and they had a very funny segment together, including where Pete Davidson said look, I made fun of how you look. It's only fair if we put up a picture of me, and you you make fun of how I looked and it was kind of funny. Here's a little of the audio. In case you missed it. First impressions with their ten commander. Dan crenshaw? Thanks. This is Pete Davidson, he looks like if the meth from breaking bad was a person. Eve it. All right. One more. This is. Looks like a troll doll with a tapeworm. That's good. We wrap this up. This heat. Looks like Martin short in the Santa cross. By the way. One of these people was actually good on us. Picture short opposite. Wrong, not wrong at all that was that was pretty strong. We need more of that. Look these both these guys. And then they it's funny. They did their jobs, then Crenshaw had a very touching speech. We talked about it being you know, Veterans Day weekend. And what what it means to be an American how we should forgive each other. And never forget, I Pete Davidson father lost his life nine eleven responding nine eleven so they had some common ground, and it was kind of cool to see these two sides come together. And and you know in a in a positive way, creating some laughter and some some unity. You'll get to see that we need that. All right. Let's take a look at today's celebrity birthdays. If you're born on this day, you share a birthday with the following stars. It's Monday November twelve Wallace Shawn play, right and an actor. He is seventy five years old today. You may know him from Vegas Bakke Shen with Chevy Chase. He was the blackjack dealer. Back and Princess bride. And of course, the Princeton, right? Yes. He was visine. If in that keep saying that word, but I don't think it'd be. So funny in that. And of course, maybe one of the great exits ever in a movie when he goes up against the dread pirate Roberts, and they have a battle of the wits about which goblet of wine has been poisoned trying to do which goblet of wine he should drink when he's up against carry Elway's stars as the dread pirate Roberts in the guest room. You only think I guess drum. That's what's so funny. I switched glasses. What you're back with you. You felt victim to one of the classic. Blunders famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but slightly less. Well known is this never go in against when. Yes. Such a brilliant. Great voice while shot seventy five years old today. Also, seventy five is singer, Brian Hyland, you may not know that name. He was a heartthrob in the early sixties had a ton of hits don't hear so much about him anymore. But this was a big one. Goddess good. Darlie wrong. This. Sealed the kids. Good slow dancing right there. Actress Megan is sixty years old. Can you believe she's six from willing to me? That's really stunning six. Our old singer Neil young is seventy three years old today. Neil young. I know I'm gonna take some shit for this. I know I know supposedly he's a he's a legend. And he's one of the great songwriters. I guess of sixties or whatever I don't get it at all. I just he is lost on me as a songwriter think. He's okay. As a singer voices. How in God's green earth that this guy ever become a recording straight? It's it's canals. Chuck board. It's your nuts in a pair of pliers. It's it's this. Really? Really? Well, anyway, bear the Ryan Gosling, thirty eight guitars, buck Dharma of the blue Easter called he celebrates his birthday today. He's seventy one. Actress Anne Hathaway is thirty six years old today and legendary keyboardist organ player Booker t Jones book, not in the m geez is seventy four years old today. One of the great instrumental hit songs of all time is green onions by book T in the geez. That's it for today's. Liberty birthdays. I'm rough garment I walked to show biz beat. As I mentioned my daughter lives, and I went to see the Grinch this weekend. And you know, when we go to see a kids film. We love to have a Livia come on the show and be a movie reviewer. It is a kids honest opinion about kids movies. It's a segment we call Livy at the movies. We'll Hello there. Everybody and welcome once again to live at the movies, the kids movie review show where kids movies are reviewed by an actual kid and your host as always is miss Olympia garment. Hi, what movie are we going to be taking a look at today grants? The Grinch course based on the famous Dr Seuss book the Grinch who stole Christmas, and we're all very familiar with the TV special of the same name. Then there was the Jim Carey version Bolivia, and I saw the Grinch this weekend and Livy. What'd you think? I liked it. Yeah. I could tell that you did who your favorite character. Do you think in the movie, Cindy, Lou? Yeah. Cindy, Lou who has a much bigger role in this film, then she had in the TV special, and I think that really added to Libya's enjoyment of this film. What'd you think of the Grinch? I liked him. Do the Grinch has of course, a couple. Animal friends that he works with there's a new one in this film. But who does e what animals does it Grinch him? The ranch has his dog max and a. A new thing. I think it's a reindeer. But it's a big big fat reindeer reindeer named Fred. And he's very funny. This stuff with the animals in this movie is great as you can imagine they expanded the story line because they had to make an hour and a half movie out of it. And can you give people just a brief idea? What the story is living. The story is about the Grinch shoot doesn't like Christmas in. He doesn't like how the who celebrate Christmas. So he decides he's going to do what really in Christmas for them living. What was one of your favorite parts of the movie? My favorite part. Was seeing Christmas tree. But a really funny for was the go because he had following. We were in. And. Is a great recurring gag with a goat and the Grinch, and you may have seen it in the trailer. But if you haven't we're not going to spoil it for you because it is a very funny moment me personally, I liked when Fred the reindeer was it was eating whipped cream right out of the Cantu. That was a funny moment. Yeah. We had a lot of laughs in this movie. We had a lot of good times. So what lesson do you think the Grinch learns at the end of this movie? I think to not be alone because he's built loan since he was a kid, right? Yeah. Do you think maybe that's why he was so angry? Maybe why didn't like Christmas. And once he finds love in his heart, then well, he's a much happier person. Right. That's a pretty good lesson for all of us to learn not just the Grinch. And also, the message that Christmas isn't all about presents and decorations and things like that was a little lost in this version of the story. But I think that was kind of in there too, right? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, it's a great Christmas movie for the whole family. It certainly is the best version of the story we've seen in a long time and living, you know, every movie reviewer has a rating system. Some you stars some use thumbs what do you use heights? Yeah. On a scale of one to five one being lowest five being the best. How many stars would you give the Grinch? For now, that's a pretty high rate, and you haven't you haven't rented a movie that high. No while you must have really liked this. Yeah. Said living I can both recommend the Grinch for all the kids in your family and health, even the even the grown up kids too. So that's it for this episode of Livy at the movies Livy. Thank you so much for spending some time with us. Welcome. Last night was an all new episode of family guy. And as many of you may know, I do voices on family guy. But we get so many people who leave voicemails and writing questions, I watched the show last night. And I couldn't identify which one was you who did you play. And that's why sometimes on a Monday, we'll play some clips from last night's family guy and let you know who I played now Eddie loves my theme song for this. Because I did it myself in a rush, and it basically goes. The live performance. Yes. Because we have a new one may be better. We'll have to let people decide rate, but this one is coming from a guy with talent who also does Peter Griffin impression. Oh, and he put together this new intro segment. I'm in foisted tuned today. What did he say it's time to play favorite gain? Play. Where he thinks pig. It's pretty good, right? I think it'd beats. By a lot. I know you like my because it's so awful. Bring bring it out every once in a while. Right. Let's compare. Quite as good. I think. Will always have a special place in my heart. Anyway, here's the first cliff. Here's white played last night ride settled down your yuks. We got a new student Chris Griffin. So everybody give him an a. Look at your first day. And you got all these Kemira. Let me pinch cheek got all as. You're expressing affection dominance. That's right. Chris griffin. Went to vocational school last night. And I was his stereotypically attempting teacher. All right. Chris a big part of being a mechanic is being completely shocked when somebody hasn't had a particular item on a restaurant menu. Hey Kristy with thinking about going over to Pete's. You wanna bread sandwich? What's bread sandwich bread sandwich from Pete's? So if you guessed I was vocational school teacher last night. Then you one. And before we say goodbye, it's time to kick off this week celebrity interview, I spent some time with my buddy, Bobby Slayton, one of the great stand up club comics working today, and he's just such a funny guy, and it has a great back story. I think you're really going to like this conversation. Here's the first installment of this week celebrity interview with Bobby Slayton, this is going to be fun. This is one of my favorite people in the world. Not just because he's a good guy in a friend, but very few people make me laugh harder than the pit bull of comedy himself. Mr. Bobby Slayton, say the pressure. You put me, by the way. How have you been doing this podcast for since January? So almost a year. Okay. Let me see okay to bed. But there's a lot of people. I'll do that podcast. And I'll say how are you doing the podcast? Oh, like five ten years. So it's like you've run out of people. So now, you have to call me up really wants to pretty much I've gone through my whole full book twice. And now, I gotta. Oh, yes late. But you didn't do that. But you know, what? I finally did he uncomedic special HBO used to do member. The Rodney Dangerfield young comedians. Sure. Yeah. And Roddy did it for five six years, and then I had different hosts I did with John Larroquette. But so what I was young comic many many years ago HBO to doing it. And I remember the first one first couple of you know, you could people could Google it. Because Jerry Seinfeld Bill Maher people Roseanne, I don't I do think she was big back that Jim Carey was on one way. Probably. And you know, I was working as much as those guys, but they were going back on my high thirty years ago are longtime ago, so they were more famous. Okay. Well, they use five six guys show. And then maybe I'll get the next one. And then the next one I was like Dennis Miller data Carvey, and whoever was so by the some of the rave, I'm going. One of the top club comics of the country. I'm working as much as or more than anybody. And there were few Bill, Harry Anderson, Ellen Degeneres, I should've got it before them. And then so Finally, I get the eleventh young comedians special, and it was really good lineup. I don't remember. It was me the late Raduca Mun few other very funny comics, and I'm going so they've got through about sixty comedians before they finally got to me. So said they with you on my list, you were on my on my first list the list, we'll get to the bees. But as of right now, Dave Grohl is going to be doing it soon. You got here before Dave Grohl. Did I love Dave? That's all you need to know. I saw him the other day on Vitor boulevard is going to say something to him that he was just on the cover Rolling Stone. And you know, the fact that that guy could play drums and guitar and sing like a mother, it's amaz- and right write songs feel. So I come up with a new joke every couple weeks. Wow. I'm doing excite felt myself on the back, but the Betsy about dude your podcasts. The greatest thing about this is ULA. Five minutes. For me and in LA this. What do you live not that? It wouldn't have come. I would have got to cover city where used to do radio show you to Kevin b but right that was schlep. Yes. Right. By them is pizza place. I love Roberta's shifts opened up so. Yeah. And I met a friend of mine to drive down there to the four or five. Not even a rush hour with such a pain in the ass. Gotta meet you before lunchtime to get back before two because the traffic is you know, in this town is rush hour starts at noon. So when I found out you live five to six minutes away from me, my girlfriend also lives five to six minutes away. From me shock me is that I didn't live with you. And that's where the comedy let it. Good. I let Trump. Tiff your waitstaff. But if I if she would have lived in Santa Monica somebody's Sherman oaks, I'm not sure how successful the fillet. She would have been because LA, you know, it's it's a nightmare. And it's getting worse and the older, I get the less tolerance. I have for that bullshit. Absolutely. The world is getting smaller because I just wanna fuck and be left alone. The be near everything I thought President Trump would fixed everything talking about it'd problem. Tired of winning it? Are you tired of winning out so tired? But. Yeah. So the thing was good. When when Google your addressable. Oh my God. He's he's right by the nursery. I'm going to have to say goodbye plants gardening now that I don't have a lot of work coveted. I don't really love gardening. But by by five six o'clock at night. I feel like accomplish something it's hard for me to open a bottle of wine unless I deserve it. I did a lot of work today. I plan to rose slanted. I just put a mattress bed. Spring thing. I got to put together I got a big day that bottle. I might even open it for o'clock you. Every night. I find myself drinking every night every night. Yeah. Do you do mine? Mostly why mostly why will you know? It's funny because in the clubs, and I still do it. I don't play that many clubs anymore. But when I do usually maybe vodka or two before I go on stage and then go back to my room. I'll go to a restaurant of it's still up, but have some why? But at home, I'd have a hard booze. Yeah. But I do find myself drinking earlier and earlier and more and more not to the point where I'm a functionally alcoholic AM functioning. But. Metabolism of a hummingbird. I mean here we are in the morning ridiculous. And it so I have to gain an ounce of weight never in the past fifteen years that I've known you not any weight. Now, it's pretty cool. Just I'm sixty three years shot up your sixty three never have guessed really literally everybody gets. No. But you know, what? I just had my checkup going, you know. I hope is something. It'd be wrong would be hooking change my lifestyle. Before. Maybe shot would give me a reason. And the doctor said, you know, your livers per fit your blood sugars perfect. I'm gonna why I do eat very healthy. But to make up for that, this is a blow anymore vodka. I'll do if you got it. I just don't know where to get it. Right. But I work out every day at four o'clock in the afternoon. I start to cook. And crack oh put a bottle of wine, and I usually. Do about about what happened night. What about you? How much about about bottled through it usually the wife I'll have Glasser to and I'll I'll polish off the rest. Yeah. Well, since I don't have my wife around drinking to the pressure of drinking too. So, you know, so that's a lot of pressure. I just wanna keep memory alive with alcohol. The you mentioned your girlfriend and teddy, of course, passed away in that tragic accident, and you have a new relationship. Now. What's it like now dating after all those years of marriage? It's bizarre. How have you been married? I've been married thirteen years. It's very bizarre because his garbage truck in the background notes leaf blower guy float. Yeah. Or him. Good though. It's good. It's good. You have a whole staff is a leaf blower people to realize the entire staff of servants. Oh, yes. Yes. Mar-a-lago this play. I have the best leaf blowers of any Li. Table was bizarre about the dating thing. 'cause I was married for thirty years. And then she died, you know, she was hit by car. Mexico died at a hospital either. We sued them what a little bit of money not much. But but what was weird was after my wife passed away. I was alone in my house and the silver lining was my daughter grown up and moved out. It's nice to be by yourself. Did you want your wife to die your daughter to grow up? Is this something to be said what it's nice and quiet in the house depends on who you are. I think some people thrive under those circumstances. And some people struggle under the circumstances. I think you're like me we like our alone time. You know, you like a little solitude you like to be with your thoughts. You like yourself to spend time with yourself not. Everybody's that way. But we you see the thing is is I live for years on the road. Right. So here's a Holiday Inn in Jacksonville, Florida plane, the looney bin I never got diluted is a looney bit until side, Wichita, they won't return my calls. I want too much money, which is nothing to be in Hampton did in Tulsa playing the looney bin. You know, either you kill yourself. You know, the strategy yourself if Dana Robin Williams did or or you just say, I gotta be strong. I'm not gonna drink myself to death. So you gotta go to the gym gotta walk around gotta go to the mall for the third time day, you're gonna make it work. And you gotta make it work works. I'm used to being by myself. I think when you're a comic, you know, it also walk around talking to yourself a lot I walk. I walk down the street talking to myself now people on the phone. I think the way to work out bits and you'll you'll do it to you. You know, you walk around, and you say things out loud because I do voices and character voices in exact always doing something out loud. That people think I'm okay, even more that a comic. There is no way. I don't do voices. But I can't imagine this anyway to do a voice unless you work on it out loud, and you tape it, and you listen to it, and you work on it. So it's the same thick. And when I put my dog last week when I was talking to you about that that was horrible thing that I've ever had to go through it my life, but he was like your dog Hugh park so much at he was so sick and sold. So now it's been four days that of a load of this house without the wife, I'm used to having her around, but the dog is total silence. Right. And it's cool. And it's great. But it's it's it's sad. Thanks so much for spending time with us today. More with Bobby tomorrow. Of course, all the entertainment news. I think we're going to have to do another round of the world's greatest stripper songs tomorrow. So many recommendations excited all that and the usual shenanigans come on back for tomorrow show love you. I mean it by.
The Ralph Report