4 Burst results for "Bobby Mcelwain"

"bobby mcelwain" Discussed on The Experiment

The Experiment

02:29 min | 9 months ago

"bobby mcelwain" Discussed on The Experiment

"Is one the thousands of people who lost someone. They love on september eleventh. Two thousand one twenty years ago now. Big brother bobby. Mcilvaine died that day in new york city at the age of twenty six. He was like reaching out insane. I want to show you my office and was specifically onto the because it was the last time i saw. He told this story to atlantic staff writer jennifer senior. Who wrote about the mcilveen for the atlantic magazine. How did this story come into your life. Well i mean the most obvious way it came into my life is that i knew bobby mcilvaine. He was my brother's roommate in college. He was my brother's roommate in new york city. When they were young then starting out. I would visit my brother at princeton. Bobby would be there and he would. Just be ridiculously precocious charming. He wanted to be a writer. But one of the things that bob learned early in his life in publishing is that a lot of people in publishing came from upper middle class families. They had cushions of money beneath their toes. And bobby's family didn't have that kind of money and bobby knew. He wanted to make a living and so he went into corporate. Pr after two years of being in book publishing. And that's how bobby ended up working for merrill lynch and going to work conference on one of the top floors of the north building of the world trade center on the morning of september eleventh. I went down had coffee and was going over my work like many americans on that morning. Bobby's mom. Helen was starting workday as a teacher and they had the tv set on in every classroom. And i my knees buckled and light. I had to be helped. Bobby's dad bob senior. Also a teacher at the time was also at work. It was on tv. I call home. Of course i try to bobby. We get colon now. The phone was ringing. No one could reach bobby. His parents is friends his girlfriend or his brother. Jeff

Jeff mcilvaine Bobby mcelwain mcilveen princeton bobby Bobby merrill lynch new york city jeff Jeff
"bobby mcelwain" Discussed on The Experiment

The Experiment

01:53 min | 9 months ago

"bobby mcelwain" Discussed on The Experiment

"Jeff mcilvaine idolized his big brother. Bobby mcelwain in my head. He was the top in world and the mcilveen family. Bobby was kind of a wonderboy a star athlete and astray day student. He went off to princeton for lot of probably be hard when brother. Who's that successful than once. You know he was just my friend he was my brother and when bobby graduated from princeton he moved to new york city and got a job. At merrill lynch jeff remembers one night twenty years ago when he traveled into the big city where his big brother lived. I am friends who got jobs in the city. So i was visiting them amid then after work and they were gotta report. Jeff realized bobby worked in the building above them. Basically so i call. I was like yo. We're downstairs and i remember like he came down and he was like where you guys. I don't know if he's going to panic with us. Hidden sitting down with my friends was like so excited so like bought a beer. And he's like i'm just gonna stay for one. He liked talk my friends and stuff and then he finished bureau get because he was having a good time. You know that was great but he was like i gotta go. Do you wanna see my office. And i was just now. Because he wasn't supposed to die in that state.

Jeff mcilvaine Bobby mcelwain mcilveen princeton bobby Bobby merrill lynch new york city jeff Jeff
"bobby mcelwain" Discussed on Family Secrets

Family Secrets

18:26 min | 9 months ago

"bobby mcelwain" Discussed on Family Secrets

"Pie. he just was dazzling with as if he'd been sort of flung into the world from a slingshot. You know what i mean. You just had lots of purpose And had that air about him that any self in person does. They're kind of unstoppable. There's a moment in your piece for you describe. He was also athletic. And there's this moment where you describe teenage bobby mcelwain throwing immaculate pass As a basketball player that sets up an immaculate shot that flies right over the teenage head of koby bryant. I mean it sounds like on every level. This kid was as you describe it. Just a one off completely extraordinary vehicle. Yeah i mean kobe bryant. That's the other thing right. There's something almost zelic like her gump about. Bobby's trajectory right. They wound up playing each other in high school. And they were the two best kids on their team. And bobby got sixteen points off of kobe and his team mates. I mean that's extraordinary. That became the stuff of legend. Macaroni family as kobe. Bryant became kobe bryant Then bobby goes up. And get the have picked to take class with twenty morris in and when when bobby dies tony. Morrison sends his family not one but two condolence notes saying what a star bobby was and he just kept intersecting with exceptional people. You know that's the kind of guy. He was so on on nine eleven at first when the planes hit the towers there wasn't a sense in the family. Or among bobby's friends that that bobby was in the towers right it was just this horrific thing that was unfolding but there was no reason to. He didn't work there he didn't live right there. There was no reason to think that he would have been there at working near there. He was a jason right. but but. And here's what's interesting. His mother had a full on premonition. A real deep visceral sense that something was the matter. It was more than just a chirp in her stomach. She you really thought something was wrong. But his father treated it like a news event. His brother had just been in the city that they're staying up your with him and he worked at merrill lynch had just moved there to corporate communications. At merrill lynch it just so happened. He had to attend a conference that day. And you to make things crazier the theory about bobby at. He had to go to a restaurant that two windows on the world that morning for a conference but that he had probably left before the planes hit because they've found his body. On the periphery of the site and no one was in windows on the world was found. Everybody was incinerated if they were up there. So i want to quote something from from your piece because really so much of your piece is about the shape or shamelessness or trajectory of grief and trauma. And you right early on. The mcilvaine spoke to a therapist. Who warned them that. Each member of their family would grieve differently. Imagine you're all at the top of a mountain. She told them. But you all have broken bones so you can't help each other. You have to find your own way down. It was a helpful metaphor. One that may have saved. The michael vans marriage. But when i mentioned it to roxane cohen silver a psychology professor at uc irvine. Who spent a lifetime studying the effects of sudden traumatic loss. She immediately spotted a problem with it. That suggests that everyone will make it down. She told me some people never get down the mountain at all. This is one of the many things you learn about morning when examining at a close range. It's idiosyncratic anarchic polychrome. A lot of the series read about grief are great beautiful. Even they have a way of a racing individual experiences. Every mourner has a different story to tell so what. I'm wondering if you can tell us now. The different stories. That bobby's parents in particular went through in the wake. The long wake of bobby's deaths both bob senior and helen They are so different they almost look like photo negatives of what another it really struck me. particularly bob senior. His story held ins was more recognizable to me. I think i would have grieved but it is a story that i could have sort of seen in predicted which is not knowing her so helen. This is how she chose degrees. She chose to starve her grief. She didn't want people to pay to her. She didn't want to manage people's awkwardness. She didn't want to manage their discomfort or listen to them babbling their condolences and she didn't want to feel terrible all the time. When people accidentally said the wrong thing to her she went to a different grocery store for fifteen years in order to not run into people she knew that no one could sit there and just start incoherently trying to console her or muttering apprentice. You know like pointing and gossiping. She didn't want any of it. She would deflect she would joke..

bobby bobby mcelwain koby bryant zelic kobe bryant merrill lynch mcilvaine Macaroni kobe roxane cohen Bryant Bobby Morrison basketball morris tony jason uc helen bob
"bobby mcelwain" Discussed on Family Secrets

Family Secrets

07:46 min | 9 months ago

"bobby mcelwain" Discussed on Family Secrets

"And there's this moment where you describe teenage bobby mcelwain throwing immaculate pass As a basketball player that sets up an immaculate shot that flies right over the teenage head of koby bryant. I mean it sounds like on every level. This kid was as you describe it. Just a one off completely extraordinary vehicle. Yeah i mean kobe bryant. That's the other thing right. There's something almost zelic like her gump about. Bobby's trajectory right. They wound up playing each other in high school. And they were the two best kids on their team. And bobby got sixteen points off of kobe and his team mates. I mean that's extraordinary. That became the stuff of legend. Macaroni family as kobe. Bryant became kobe bryant Then bobby goes up. And get the have picked to take class with twenty morris in and when when bobby dies tony. Morrison sends his family not one but two condolence notes saying what a star bobby was and he just kept intersecting with exceptional people. You know that's the kind of guy. He was so on on nine eleven at first when the planes hit the towers there wasn't a sense in the family. Or among bobby's friends that that bobby was in the towers right it was just this horrific thing that was unfolding but there was no reason to. He didn't work there he didn't live right there. There was no reason to think that he would have been there at working near there. He was a jason right. but but. And here's what's interesting. His mother had a full on premonition. A real deep visceral sense that something was the matter. It was more than just a chirp in her stomach. She you really thought something was wrong. But his father treated it like a news event. His brother had just been in the city that they're staying up your with him and he worked at merrill lynch had just moved there to corporate communications. At merrill lynch it just so happened. He had to attend a conference that day. And you to make things crazier the theory about bobby at. He had to go to a restaurant that two windows on the world that morning for a conference but that he had probably left before the planes hit because they've found his body. On the periphery of the site and no one was in windows on the world was found. Everybody was incinerated if they were up there. So i want to quote something from from your piece because really so much of your piece is about the shape or shamelessness or trajectory of grief and trauma. And you right early on. The mcilvaine spoke to a therapist. Who warned them that. Each member of their family would grieve differently. Imagine you're all at the top of a mountain. She told them. But you all have broken bones so you can't help each other. You have to find your own way down. It was a helpful metaphor. One that may have saved. The michael vans marriage. But when i mentioned it to roxane cohen silver a psychology professor at uc irvine. Who spent a lifetime studying the effects of sudden traumatic loss. She immediately spotted a problem with it. That suggests that everyone will make it down. She told me some people never get down the mountain at all. This is one of the many things you learn about morning when examining at a close range. It's idiosyncratic anarchic polychrome. A lot of the series read about grief are great beautiful. Even they have a way of a racing individual experiences. Every mourner has a different story to tell so what. I'm wondering if you can tell us now. The different stories. That bobby's parents in particular went through in the wake. The long wake of bobby's deaths both bob senior and helen They are so different they almost look like photo negatives of what another it really struck me. particularly bob senior. His story held ins was more recognizable to me. I think i would have grieved but it is a story that i could have sort of seen in predicted which is not knowing her so helen. This is how she chose degrees. She chose to starve her grief. She didn't want people to pay to her. She didn't want to manage people's awkwardness. She didn't want to manage their discomfort or listen to them babbling their condolences and she didn't want to feel terrible all the time. When people accidentally said the wrong thing to her she went to a different grocery store for fifteen years in order to not run into people she knew that no one could sit there and just start incoherently trying to console her or muttering apprentice. You know like pointing and gossiping. She didn't want any of it. She would deflect she would joke. It was her way of coping with it and realized about ten years in that it wasn't serving very well to keep stopping up for grief. She realized at some point that it was making her angry that it was making her more of a gossip that she was on a shorter fuse but she thought no. It is additionally compounded by the fact that i am not allowing myself agreed to fully inhabit this grief. The only country to do it was with this group of local women. All lost children with whom she gets shorthand. They all knew what it was. They weren't going to single her out for special pity she could say anything she wanted to them. And it was all okay but they understood if she said. I was just with a friend of mine who went on and on and on about their child and i just couldn't stand listening to them talk about their child. I am so jealous that she has this problem. I can't listen to people talk about child. They all got it all made sense but it was very hard for her. She didn't want to be a victim. She didn't want to be short. She didn't want to be short tempered. You know kurt all these things. You had like a strong superego. Kind of watching her reaction. That was how she gave the impression of having quote unquote healed Because she wasn't talking about it and she was moving on with her life. And so it was impossible conundrum. Totally one of her right exactly right. She needed to do that. In order to get through the day that was in some ways for version of grieving was not grieving or not externally showing it and yet exactly something. Some part of her was Permanently scar tissue on top of a whole bunch of stuff. That had not stitched up. There was something painfully paradoxical about this situation right that she was like all stitched up but just watery mass inside and so that was really hard. That was really really hard for her And she just woke up one morning and decides you had to do something about it which makes her very unusual. I mean to make an executive decision. One day that you're simply going to be another person is extrordinary and she actually did that. She actually woke up one morning and did that to be. She decided she wanted to be somebody else. She needed to be someone else.

bobby bobby mcelwain koby bryant kobe bryant zelic merrill lynch mcilvaine roxane cohen Macaroni kobe Bryant Morrison Bobby helen morris basketball tony bob jason uc