17 Burst results for "Bert Kreischer"

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

07:24 min | Last week

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"It's fucking great. let's sell. This is a fucking show. I'm in law that you sell it. But i'm in. This is how this is all. I wonder if tom can play backgammon. I'm sure you'll say can okay new'dove you can be novel history by why do why. Why do you guys play backgammon so much. So it's just part of the middle eastern culture. They played all day. So we're in a cap. The guy goes was ready to talk back backyard. We start playing. Are we start talking about backgammon. And the two guys sit next to me in this cab One of the front and they're like they don't play much you know. I grew up with israel. he's And so he was like you wanna play the guys like yeah for your cab fare. Double or nothing. And we didn't have that money we were eighteen and a half you know and so the deal was free cup fair. Means we're gonna fucking live large right if we have to double this cap fare. We're sleeping on the beach like we cannot afford a hotel. Yeah what do you think are like it's like ca. can you win. And i'm like. I think i can but it's a lot of look nice you know. That's the weird part. Yeah remember at the very end. We're like i you pretty much. But if you get double sixes only here you will beat me. Yeah and then. Sometimes they do so. It's like that and we're also we played. We got out. He had a board in the trunk. We played on the hood of the car. And i beater. Oh and it was. They were act because it didn't matter that much to him but it was like it was so fucking tenths of like. We don't wanna sleep on the beach. We want to sleep in bed. king awesome. I have a greatest back story. I've been probably not that good. I've been playing on. We can't tell you what's crazy is i've only i've only played humans. Probably maybe twenty times. It's that what do you play video poker where you're like. I know i'll raise them the racing back all just know how they'll do it. I play play. I've been playing video backgammon for eighteen years. I mean do you have trouble making friends. No i i get getting on planes. I if i play a game on the screen on the on the tv played on the screens. Had i and i it sometimes. You can play with someone in another seat. I've done that. I've played but like sitting across from someone could go big show. We have backgammon boards. Small back. I carry around shoe not jose there. I know. Keep it in. You know who just learned how to do that but my daughter isla death ajay's daughter. She's looking at my phone thing it's her. She just learned how to do that. Did the jay dollar thanksgiving fourteen And i was like okay. I brought some forums. You gotta do you gotta catch up with. I brought something for you. So they're like looking forward to it or so you're looking for it and i pulled it out. She goes like our whole world. Changes are the foot. And that's that's that's an adult first of all also. I can use that at school so well just like it was just so much to take in so so my my one back emma travel so my co lead on On the on the machine is beautiful. I won't. I'm not saying her name. I don't want to know who she is. I want her to. I think certain things. I think about movies should be more secret. I think it's better if you see her for the first time. You will not expect to see that person but she was. She's from croatia. And i said i said to her. I did a joke to her. And it was the greatest way to do. This joke said i said. Have you seen dis. And she goes. I these these what i said right into it he would. She would go these nuts and she would she understand it right so then so then now think of all the ones you've got loaded up so i go. I go shit. I should with. What are these doesn't work. I go you got an up doc on your shoulder and she goes. What's up doc. I mean it was so much fun but then she was. What a baby on your. What's the matter baby. It was so fun but then what happened is higher backfired. And i think at a point. It caused a rift relationship. Because she thought i was making fun of her and i was like no. It's an inside joke. So then she didn't get it until she did these nuts to someone else and get an accident. It was so great because peter. Have you seen these. And he goes these what and she goes these she would do it like bore. It was the fucking funniest dude. He's been a great episode. How's it usually by the way it's a lot of need to carrying. jesus christ. I thought that was bush. This out sitting there was no better. It's funny i i. I'm i guess. Bears with people that i really know very well because i don't want have to interview somebody. We're talking about the interview podcast. And i say this as i've gone to tank and bert cast is like pretty much interview. It was better ten years ago when stories weren't out but like this kind of fun shooting the shit like the best. Oh i just changed my interviews to either people. I've found online that i'm fascinated by this guy. Van nuys istat or two dudes and drinking always to drink training. Talking ship did the mu j. and j. in total time but those are always the best when you're partying a little bit and then and then i brought back my open tabs podcast. He did. I thought that was the most brilliant that i listen to you. I should have listened to the very beginning and end. Because i i was too much for me to do but But yeah i open brought back. It's great so like so like Sometimes there's like new podcast which like that's a good angle on a new thing our garbage. You gotta do when you're new york and it's just like ask you questions about your life at stories you don't normally do the open tabs like it'll just lead to conversation you'd never had there's a podcast so bad from you. There's a podcast out there. That i saw tick-tock yeah These guys breaking down old movies. And it's they tell you things like Like a they breakdown. Encino man And then they're like Did you know the paulie shore and all his movies would have brennan frazier. Show up as link and say something about eating frog and then they go and show you all the clips or they go. They breakdown sandlot. And they or they. They go in encino man. Do you know who this band was. It was jello biafra or whatever. Steve perkins and drummer from what you call it. And they're like they're in his movie and this is from Jane's addiction and they're like big. It's so good. Do you know what it is. I'm fucking starring. Someone really party this week. Did you bear when we start talking about sober october. You were like nah. I'm already sober. You check your history on talk long. You've been on there. I just saw it this morning on talk. They're setting we can tell if you're too old for it dude. There are so many attractive people on talk..

king awesome ajay isla tom israel jose emma croatia Van nuys bert peter brennan frazier bush Steve perkins Encino encino new york Jane
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

07:23 min | Last week

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"A heavy edible and at the airport you buy hella popcorn and you just never stop eating. That's what worked for me to this lady. Kept looking over and i no still as she was like i saw getting angry and may still eating bitch i was. I was livid lasting yesterday on the plane. And i was like but it's just it's a control thing for me. It's like a weird control thing. And i think it makes me claustrophobic. And so and so. I just played backgammon on the fucking hope. I bought internet for the flight and just played backgammon nonstop and he played background a hardcore backgammon best comic backgammon player. There's literally because i know what you're doing but it still is working. There's literally no ch if we played one hundred games betting cuba not. There's literally no. I won't exaggerate. i won't exaggerate. Okay does a seven percent chance. You would win more games than me i can. I would say no. But that'd be ridiculous. I can guarantee i can guarantee i would win over fifty percent of the games. You're out of your mind. If we'd like to games shirt gluck absolute one hundred games as one hundred probably winning seventy two games my god because oh my god you are fucking. Im fuck you without about the best backgammon player out of all the comedians. There's not one you pick the dice. Stubby fucking fat fingers and i am the number one. I'll gammon you a couple times a couple times. I it's so of backgammon golfing shit. I'll join like ha ha. You're being ridiculous. Your personal israeli middle eastern culture shea speech. I remember. I remember a young overweight comedian. Who said he's taking tennis lessons. Quote unquote what did i send it up. I will destroy. You will just throw you were tom. I mentioned and swimming like wow. I'm doing good like i. Professional athlete professional athlete. And that's before. I knew how fucking how how much you had. And how much actually like how. Your athletes athleticism was covered up. You still have it in there and it was like let's have a race. Let's have a fucking underwater rates only race god going. I don't think our ever learned how to swim. Yeah do you remember that. I had i was like i'm i'm thinner than bird and then you latte me like. Do you ever swim. Like it's been like ten years and like did you swim growing up. Like i did in florida triathlon. No and he's like. Why did you think you beat me. I know you're thinking about it. Was tom said thompson. I'm taking tennis lessons. And i said what did i not say i will destroy you. You did. And i beat him so bad that he won't show it. May you're right. You're right as a matter of we in the whole thing and he goes you know. I think that's better. Just keep on the thing. We don't wanna put something like that out. I beat him so bad. I aced him. Not even joking. Maybe forty times. Wow aced him. Wow and his his tennis coach. Who's like a professional tennis player. Went up and said to him. This is going to be rough. He's got he's got a legit d one serve. You and me and tom's like tom got so upset. Return the ball. He couldn't even return. The ball. Could turn like i would hit the top bracket and getting here and he goes on and let me tell you not show it when you have films. Something that amazing we a highlight. Reel them a highlight. Reel right to not show this amazing amazing thing that you filmed is such a fucking waste poorly. Why not eventually put it out. Lindsey was just started working for. Tom and he had to root for tom and when he tom's son was there and i think they took him away. They didn't wanna see this happen. They were like as just get out of here. You don't wanna see this. And and then everyone was there and they were all rooting for tom. Tom and i was like. Hey guys i work with you also also with you. You gotta root for the underdog. It was so uncomfortable. How bad he got beaten. And that was footage of that. Need off. Not ready to go. Not right before basketball. That was before basketball. Yeah he'll never play tennis again. He'll never play basketball again by. The way is so heartbreaking. 'cause you do you do when you talk about burton tom. Yeah i'm such a blowhard that you automatically on route for tom. Yeah so when we go to play basketball. Everyone's like hall. He's got you this time. Bert got this time. And then he has the most catastrophic life-changing fall that anyone can have and just the look on his face was about to win. Were you know that he was doug on a nine foot ramp and instead his body goes. We weren't bill for this. Oh my god juryman this. There's still rooting for 'em. Tom did win did edwin did he. Dunked on a nine foot rim to win. He's he ended up in hospital. You but how does win. Didn't they made. Because he won't to lawrence taylor ended. His career didn't win that game. I don't know who did win. that game. Who knows nobody been. Law is been law. That's right lawrence taylor. One who knows that it broke my heart. Because i was like i was like oh. Tom is gonna get victory. Finally in fuck in. How can you not put that out. That's crazy or the tennis was so dominated. did you should put it out no human. Tom doesn't. Tom doesn't want it. He doesn't want people to see that why shot. He's trying to show himself as an athlete. That how he bills himself as someone who could beat you think so. Yeah you remember when we tried to push throw up to twenty two rogan's yeah all of us got pinned and then rogin rogan's like what he did he. Yeah i remember telling someone that and they're like that's a lot of fucking wait to do ten. That's like that's like fucking combines. Beat you in a fitness challenge. Was that a couple of october toco. You don't remember that. No oh i'll tell you the example so so when we did when we did the first weight loss challenge. Yeah the ferry freight. You're joking the place higher than you. I i remember that. I i'm sitting there going. What fucking you talking about. What the wu or loop That one the that one. Yeah you did have actually think going back to the times in your life. Think of things like to touch on this is thanks last night. My ass was the est. Ever and i tried to think of the most obvious. It's never been in. I actually had a time where i was. I remember having an itchy asshole. So bad that i thought to myself it will never get your in the eighth grade. I grade football and once you put it on you could not get your ass. What was like a trampoline pants and my aso's itching and i couldn't get get to it. I kept reaching my coach. Goes what are you doing. my ask. Indios fart legit. And i was like and i think about that moment last night..

tom tennis Tom basketball gluck gammon burton tom cuba shea lawrence taylor swimming thompson Lindsey florida rogin rogan Bert edwin
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

05:14 min | Last week

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"When is this fucking mountain. And there's fog and we don't know and it's been hours longer than we thought it would be and we don't know and the trails aren't marked that well and you finally come over and it just reveals itself to you this this amazing place and the feeling you get with your companions that you overcame something in the smell and the hunger you have. I don't know how to like how to express that part and a picture doesn't do it a picture to do it and it's really hard when you're it takes you out of the moment it does it cannibalize to be like so. If you're at a wedding you hire photographers. And like get the fuck out of the way i was at my sister's kids barmitzvah and we're all we're all dancing and then hey go back in with your dad your mom and dance the fuck capture job. Oh i used to do that with our travel. So what's really interesting. Is the people that were shooting. Red rocks were people. I worked with and travel channel. They're all the guys i worked with and he's got a real problem about. Let's be in the moment. let us. it's hard you get a very distant. Only really great people like bourdain could be honest and genuine in the moment and just and his crew. I think he had very specific rules about. Do not fucking talk to me. Do not let me just me solo guy like you've got to be the fuck out of here. Yeah die i'm gonna. Yeah and so. It's really hard. It's really hard to do all that. I think podcasting is a good way to to get that expressed by cutting the memories and your journal and you can have. I always wave. we will sometimes like. Don't you want to ask me about this stuff. some people like. Don't you're good about it right now. I love the way you travel is the way i was so funny when i came out. La i was not who i am. Today i was very authentic. Very gen- i think i'm still as close. Thank you more than most people struggle with like. I say there's a lot you won't change l. a. l. is going to change you. That's the reality of yeah and you struggle with being in the system. That is taking you away from the frat guy from jacksonville that you really are tallahassee tallahassee. Both i'm going back to her house after hell. Two donald or talk to bert dot com promo code christ competing you promo code repent you are this genuine guidance every once in a while you can feel i feel too on different levels but is you. We talked about this like the most fun parties is like. Hey does anyone have two dollars. We gotta go to the fucking store and get on those. She only france. You know anyone they want you to get linens and shit and ain't us go back. Do you know what one of the best compliments the The you and tom ever gave me. I'm thinking about i think about this. It's weird that. I think about certain things in my life a lot. We weren't atlanta. See if you can find this. It's got music to it but It's it's all my instagram. we're not land and we were liquor store and they're playing kiss. There were all dancing around. And and i pulled my phone out and i remember i think joe said there was no joe saw the video and he said it's so far back your it's good luck finding it. It's so twenty. Eighteen january of two thousand eighteen. You're never gonna find it. You'd better find it. You better veteran. Just google burt. Liquor store tom. It's can't google instagram can you. Yeah i think he can't anyway. So atlanta's jogos. Joe said something and he goes. We you know. Joe rogan uncle. Yeah and we were. that's it. that's the fucking video that's a long time ago. Yeah and so you go. He goes he goes. Here's we had a blast. He's like yeah. I saw you guys and liquor store. Videotaping it. Why do you got a video tape. It and you and tom like you like burt though like you go. Burt made that people dance. They didn't recognize you. There's people recognize and we're all just dancing and then those kiddos all those other guys did not. They were just like who's got into it. You start dancing every once in a while. I'm in the whole the whole fuck liquor stores. They got a little bit. You got into it and you go party started. That's what it's like with burt. And you're like there. That's how that's molly got this new balance. This past my favorite pat joke people white people are scared of like woke up. Why people ain't trying to take away your new balance one of my favorite Dick gregory's nephew. I forget. I've blanking on his name. He was sitting in a restaurant and he goes ban. White people wear under armor. Like they're close. This podcast is brought to you by the best fitness tracker. I have ever worn in my entire life. Boop i worked in my movie award on go big show on my movie. They brought three. They had to put up. Give one of my stunt guy and he fell in love with it and it was fun to share. Just how cool is what. I love about this. Is it tracks. Your sleep attracts recovery..

tallahassee bourdain tom atlanta bert joe jacksonville donald La burt Joe rogan google france Burt Joe Dick gregory Boop
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

07:44 min | Last week

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"Clicked at Look at this. This is me at red rocks. This is and by the way now. I wanna talk to you about this. Keep in mind everyone the camera. It's ten pounds. I had my use my glowing arm. Oh fuck yeah the kind of thing. God damn it was the greatest experience of my life. So what i did. Is david day up. Show i go and get us all. Ivy's yeah i go. Hey we party the night. Before i guess all iv's day of just like just just to make sure everyone's on their fucking hot because of me this time yeah regular ed regular iv's for everyone we then you don't need to flip through these photos and so then do id's do red rocks and we party all fucking night. Next morning i have id's waiting for ten in the more we all go up and get coffee and get a little town of an evergreen we coffee and we get a bloody marys and then we come back and i have ivy's waiting for us underneath all the trees. Everyone gets another round of id's that morning then we go get in the river rivers like forty two degrees and we polar plunge for like four minutes all of us and then we all fucking part get sprinter van. Take us into red rocks. We get backstage access interrupted jimmy buffett now. This is why i didn't do. Mushrooms is i was. I was partying drinking all day. And i had to do a show. Jimmy buffett literally second. He went on and i didn't wanna take the mushrooms too late or too early and be the only one tripping. I didn't. I wanted to take him when everyone else talk. And they also like an hour before the show and i was like that's the only one shipping and then everyone catching up is not as bad as everyone already being tripping and you need to catch up. That was what i would've done. Yeah so we go do the best thing ever is. I got to watch a show at red rocks the night after i performed at red rocks it was so fucking. Surreal mark norman. They kept putting us on the jumbotron. 'cause leeann was wearing a parrot hat and so more norman hits me and he goes. Oh my god we're on the jumbotron of mark we're on that stage last night. We were on the jumbotron for a fucking hilarious. The jumbotron hey talking about it. It was retired pitcher throwing out the first pitch going the next day the next day after jimmy buffett everyone's gone everyone leaves and i just go. I'm not done smiling. And i went up to a bar. Murphy's a what am i. What did we just talk about. God damn it just the bar okay. Beautiful bar on the river in evergreen. And i just started drinking and i ordered a cheeseburger. My daughters went to this fucking great crystal shop and then they came over. Met up me and then i was like. Hey let's look at boulder. See if you want to go to boulder. And i just i just everywhere i went i just have a beer fucking. I literally music festival. Above all i listen to steely dan and think about john. Mullany the whole fucking time no static at all and so then i then i wake up and i go i go. We'd be shot. And i was like. I don't as weird if i post You know that a video of i already sold the show out on. It's not really promoting anything. But i we already shot. It liang goes. I want to read you a quote and it was a fucking bad. Ask quote. okay. You're gonna you're mock this quote but it's an interesting quote. Yeah i wish i could read better divas. Fear is not that we are inadequate our deepest fears that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves. Who am i to be. Brilliant gorgeous talented fabulous. Actually who are you not to be your child of god. You're playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightening about shrinking. So that other people won't feel insecure about you. We are all meant to shine as children do. Were born to manifest the glory of god that is within us and not just in some of us in everyone and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people around us permission to do the same as we are liberated from our own fears. Our presence automatically liberates others. she goes. Hey it's a big accomplishment. You loved it posted right. Yeah and me and you have been talking about this. And i've talked about this on this. Podcast is there is a thing. And i think because it has talk with dunkin' too i post something. I felt like a douchebag pesto picture from like then i got back from his team or or or somewhere somewhere specialty and i was like i feel like a dork posting this. Those when he worked it was just an amazing magical place and nuts responsibility to kind of like share it with people your responsibility like but don't geo tag. That's all yeah but it's but it's interesting with an awesome quote. And i was like i was like. It's funny because i very purely when i when i sold. My first ever sold out was the wilbur. I had a special. You're doing doing it. December nights december ninth. L. starts wednesday. You use the promo code you can just like. What are you on promo code. Ju ju bailout yeah. I don't know so it's very brand friendly so But i remember going back and going backstage and sitting by the heaters clubs cold. And i was like and it was funny because i in bloomberg the wilbur. I the same thing. The same thing that happened to me at red rocks is. I sat there by myself and i went. I got no one to high five. Like i just got here myself like i got myself here my managers as it was all that like i'm not part of a band like just busted my ass and did podcast when i was over in fucking promoted and did put put all the shots and videos to help promote it and then i was simply darnold. Go by fuel really proud about this. And i was like i should feel proud. I did this. It was like a very surreal moment. I remember it very vividly warming my wilbur. I was warming my backup. And i said so all my accomplishments. I'm the only one that i can celebrate with. No one was there. Because it's just because it's just you and the openers look like they don't mormons. It was mark norman way back whereas mark norman more and that's like they don't get the struggle yes but like sharing online. I might manager. Kept trying to get me to do like a travel sitcom or and i was like can't a show in the can't do what we travel like. You can't add what you did or ordained it is. You're adding fucking film. Crew can't be late for a train and run with your buddy to catch that train and give me a hand up. You can't talk to a local when it's a fucking camera right there. You have the same experience. It's interesting. Because i i did have cameras at the red rocks and they were like at one point. There expert super seem quiet. What are you thinking. I can't express it to so it's really weird is and then they said someone was like you know you're performing red rocks. Did you ever think this is gonna happen. Fucking no i ask meetings deliver player again because you know the answer is going to be no one ever think right right that so. This is what i talked about this guy. I was like okay. Here's what i want to express through creativity through art feeling you get. You hiked all day and while do one of these in ecuador for four days to get to this giant crater lake and we hiked in huyton hike and getting sundowns common and it's getting darker darker and darker where fox we we're we had a little assets we a little off our path and then when you finally get off that him. We're scared were. It's going to be freezing and night care. We're scared so real scared and we finally get over and it just keeps going like this..

jimmy buffett mark norman river rivers Mullany boulder leeann Ivy evergreen norman Murphy david dunkin dan john bloomberg huyton ecuador
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

06:32 min | 2 weeks ago

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"He was a he was in three hundred murders in colombia and ecuador. Oh yeah that's that's presentation. yeah tribal women. After in the eighties. They found fifty of his preteen victims. The graves of fifty of his victims. What was that guy who is the l. a. guy. Remember the guy. They only got him a few years ago and he knows well. It's wife solved right now. No that's that's that's also super prolific. That you're talking about The golden state killer. I'm talking about the south. La guy you're talking about is a south la alani lonnie. Something is his name. This guy the grim sleeper sleeper yanni. David yeah look look at his. He just died. Yeah how many people is he responsible for. Probably say somewhere in there. I can't read it Responsible for at least ten. Murders and one attempted murder in los angeles from eighty five to two thousand seven. Oh my god he was killing. Mostly i think black prostitutes and they just didn't even know i guarantee you no one gave a fuck ya. They didn't put any effort into it. The grim sleeper see. I think the problem is. They're giving them cool names. So if you gave them really bad names like the the little dick. Bandit then you'd be like real earlier. Go back to that list. You had before this. The looking at sleeper jack the ripper we jack rivers fucking og. Jeffrey dahmer yeah. We listen him. If they call. Jeffrey dahmer the gay cannibal. He'd be like guys hold on. It's not exactly what i was doing. Dr death who's dr death. What year is it in. Two thousand four Between nineteen seventy two and nineteen ninety. Doctor death the fucking grim sleeper. The the night stalker. They're cool nicknames. If they gave him bad nicknames like a the probably got molested by his father but really wanted to fuck his mother killer might make them kill more. Maybe you don't want to piss them off. Yeah we come up with our serial killer nicknames. I see if there's a way to come up with your serial killer name because you know there's like your porn star name and your rutan name. Your wu tang names. Oh yeah killer named raider. This is saying that. I can't believe that i just thought of this and this is something someone did. How do we come up with it. The tell you put it in here and let's see. Let's put in tom's name. No i think i did this wrong. Killer name generators by the trial butcher was one of them. There's a serial killer named generator there. Yep so what generation. What year were you born in burt. Seventy two gen-x gen-x What do you currently do in life. You do not working. Do not work in an office. Yup was your deepest desire internet or peace a compassionate world personal growth finding true love understanding other people personal growth. What you say is your strongest quality. Stand up what is it confidence. Creativity creativity creativity boy. This big test. Jesus how many keep going beyond. What role do you play in your friendships. I like to make my friends laugh at. How often do you work out every day all day. Why did you take this test. I'm looking to kill people. Is that one of the things. It looked fun. I was bored. My friends encouraged me to do so all the above. None of the above all of the above my hero. Dj about when you sleep. I dream fucking crazy. The dream that you're drowning fighting a running away from war about flying about animals flying. Oh my god fucking right. This is just started answering willy. Nilly doesn't matter. i don't want to name. Just click and go next click. It doesn't matter next and then pick one of these. I am a male type. Your name here. I can meet a fucking name prosecute me. Well what are we prosecuting. Me still put my kenneth killer. Atomic sheds this is terrible. Go to wu tang named generator. Tang it's so much. Kill under that name quicker. Wutang generator all right. Tom girl from this day forward. You will also be known as rough overlord type in berkshire. Only my name is all right bert kreischer. From this day forward you will also be known as misunderstood warrior. That's too fucking sounds like me you. This understood warrior. all right. what's what's what's what's the rest of your day look like mine. Did you get to pick up. Pick up truck yet no. I don't have a truck yet okay. Good idea I'm going to send anti-aircraft thing to your house for. Check out. see if we can set it up your backyard. I'm going to rogin today That's going to be your big podcast. That'd be fun and then I really worked out this morning. Feeling good can eat some chicken. Hopefully i won't shit like i did yesterday where there's meatballs coming out of a glad bag and it was a good analogy right. That was really good. Yeah yeah it's fun to see you man. Kill it this week at red rocks excited for you. Thank you What am i going to see when person again. So we'll see you next week..

Jeffrey dahmer alani lonnie wu tang ecuador colombia rutan La los angeles dick David Dr burt Tom girl bert kreischer tom willy Tang rogin berkshire
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

05:58 min | 2 weeks ago

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"You think some high powered you know artillery shit that exciting to you. I'll tell you what i want. I mean honestly leeann there for my fiftieth. It'd be great to just like i'm talking like you ever seen the video where they dropped the bomb into that little sleeve and then they all like this. I wanna do that shit. Wait what i know. Let's just join the military because you want to blow shit up. That'd be cool. I've i've a fantasy not a fantasy. But like i keep thinking like in my head if there was an like. I'm on the road right. And there's a tackle on l. a. And my family is that i turned into a fucking mercenary. And i just go in blackwater styles start murga ring people in afghanistan. You just big destination. Afghanistan's our biggest enemy. I think these days are china. I'll go get going to china and just start fucking slaughtering people got Breeze it is gonna make some real rambo shit. I'm really into blackwater. These days. i read up on blackwater. Is that your flip company. No that's free water. No blackwater was the the mercenaries that did that took care of iran. Do you you think. Saddam hussein had a day. Yeah i do a lot of his palaces. Were equipped with them. I'll tell you one thing that is probably an unpopular opinion. That's gonna be the name of mine. Special unpopular opinions some no joking. Saddam hussein went out like a fucking gangster. Think so yeah. Have you ever seen his fucking execution footage. Yeah he was talking to the guy before. Yeah just like fuck you fuck. All of you that that was me i would have been like cry. Please don't do this please. don't do this. No no no. I guess you guys. We'll never know where the treasure is. Then me i'd be like money as ted bundy. Did you guys want to know where the other bodies you like. Oh yeah you're not. That tough indicates that we celebrate like doctors documentaries on ted bundy ted bunch so many and they never stopped making them. There's so many documentaries on him and he caused so much tragedy in so many people's lives. Yeah and i understand that that people are like stop making shit about sky. We get it. We get the story. Harvey weinstein did nothing compared to ted bundy right but there will never be a documentary on harvey like it's crazy that the already documentary about harvey or there might be there might be but nobody you think of like we're cancel. Culture is and you go. You go on sorry. Did nothing compared to ted bundy. But if ted bundy showed up today there like giving talk show love to hear your killed more people. Yeah i mean. I guess it's just a fascination can you. Can you imagine that was your daughter that was killed and then all of a sudden. Oh yeah everyone's gonna fucking. He's he's trending on netflix. And you're like what fuck always always and they. They've made a few scripted movies about him now and documentaries and tv shows and they keep making them myth. It's fucking crazy. John wayne gates. I get chill bumps. When i think of how john wayne wanggai's used to kill his his people god he would go. He would do this thing we go. He had trick handcuffs tricking cups. In this case the kid would be like real gay here. Handcuff me so handcuff him. And then he'd get outta me like see he's like your other to you and he was like okay puts his hand by zach and they put on real handcuffs. Like shouldn't shouldn't have to happen in life. I shouldn't now. That should be something that's outlawed. That i mean it is outlawed. Like the idea that that your your life could have that in it and that's how it ends that funds. That's what's fucking me up about. My arm is the fragility of life is like killing me. That is just is just a heroin from oh shit. I don't know how to deal with this. Who what a great way to leave a podcast. The whole john wayne gay. See fucking leap. Off was nice top ten serial killers. Who do you think. Cv name the top ten zero killers. What do you mean by top ten though. Let's stop name. If the top i if you said top ten most google or whatever serial killers like the ones. That are the biggest. It's well the ones that are the most google. we could probably figure that out or close to it. I mean it's probably bundy bundy. Gase casey dahmer. Yup i got that one too. I mean berkowitz right. Sam yeah I don't know Through ramirez oh yeah oh. yeah for. Sure he'd he'd be up there. Eileen were no shit. I forgot about her. And then there's henry lucas. Even though there's that whole stories about how much of his shirt was made up and then type in to give me give me a list of top top ten serial killers and see if we're on track. Ted bundy is number one. Okay pedro lopez. What the fuck. But we didn't you specifically said most googled. Oh yeah but who. Who's pedro lopez. Go back go back. Go back go back. He sounds like a middle infielder..

ted bundy Saddam hussein ted bunch leeann china harvey John wayne gates john wayne wanggai Harvey weinstein afghanistan Afghanistan iran netflix zach bundy bundy casey dahmer john wayne google henry lucas berkowitz
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

03:47 min | 2 weeks ago

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"Yeah i mean. I feel like you know. I think i should start it because people are gonna go with the fuck. Is this show. Hey guys finally to bears one cave. The way you've asked for just. Bert know tom You know what's crazy is that A wish we're doing this right after your show coming up because you gotta be excited to be doing the fucking amphitheater read right baby. I looked went well. I hope the mushrooms turned out. Okay mushrooms before the show. no. I'm i'm doing them for jimmy bob the next night so i. I have a lot of mushrooms and the dog. How many do you have close to a year supply for someone that does shrooms a lot. I you're gonna eat. I'm going to start off with one cap and one stem and hope that it works. Well good. yeah no need upset. You need to take a fucking epic amount and really are for like four hours. You're trying to do right aren't you. And then you're gonna get no with. Are you going to go with the boys to see buffet. No leeann mark. Norman me dave williamson Both mark dave's chicks My friends sandy. And tom and a bunch of us. I think my business manager. We're all going to see all going to see buffet. Yeah you know what's crazy. Jimmy buffett asked if he could interview me before the show. So i'm going to be on his his podcast. So i'm going to be on the podcast. Let me tell you something. That motherfucker does not know what he's getting. He's getting a fool. Bert kreischer dose. I am giving him a epic dose. Hasn't say bert kreischer. I will do not be like good to meet you. I'm gonna fuck. He's go so. I'm like i'll take it from here shirt off one of twenty two years old. I'm bob the russian mafia. I tell you the mortgage story jimmy. You're about to lose your mind. Hey we gotta do a show two thank you literally just mouth is going to be open going back and forth like what the fuck do. Podcasts are like no. He's the guy. I was gonna ask you five questions What's your favorite. Wouldn't what meal would you like if you die the I cannot wait. I'm such a fan of jimmy. Buffett's i was used by the way. You seem like a big. Jimmy buffett fan. I am jim. I remember when i was a kid being like going. Jimmy buffett concerts and just thinking like this guy's got the fucking life like. Oh yeah he goes up has if you call. Beer smokes a joint. Plays some fucking hits right. I was in the bahamas one time and they told me it was like a small place like a small little. You know five table shack kind of place. Yeah and the guy goes yeah. Jimmy buffett was here and he got so enraged that Somebody was saying a prayer before they ate that he stood up and was like. I'm not gonna i'm not gonna eat any place where you say a prayer to a false god and stormed out. I was talking serious. Yeah bring that up on the podcasts. No i think he's a big time atheist which i'm fine with. I just think it's funny to yell at the locals about it. I knew i. I mean i think if you can have one career of one artist. Yeah you'd probably like lou reed but like who. Who would you. Who whose life would you like to emulate like if you could just go all right. You're going to get the same type of career longevity wise and you can live like him do i go. Jimmy buffett fucking heartbeat. You got margot you are him that. You're the comedian. Equivalent of jimmy buffett for real so. Yeah yeah of course you are. We buffets like let's just fall fucking drink and hang out take it easy and wear.

bert kreischer jimmy buffett jimmy bob leeann mark dave williamson mark dave tom Bert jimmy Norman Buffett bob bahamas jim lou reed margot
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

05:53 min | 3 weeks ago

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"At any of i like you're not qualified for anything you better funke's because you thought i was going to give you a job and i was like yeah right. Never never in a million years worked for me. Don't you on like a hat company in honduras and he was like you wanted a job at a hat company. That was a kid like a hat factory. Or something. And i was like i can make fucking panama hats and smoke cigars all day. Congratulations because it's better than being an air is doing something you love. And have you find it. And and the stuff flows towards the anyway. I love okay last thing. Okay so i have acquired what we like to call. Mushrooms boutique mushroom k. Now haven't done mushrooms and a very long time but the silla simon containing much suicide kennedy mushrooms. And they're really they're the ones that are going around. Were like their straw. No no no. They're meaning they're they're very they're very pure someone just telling me a bag of fucking and so And they're dose out in chocolate bars and so I had such fear of death. Leading up that everyone witnessed on this podcast up to the to the surgeries up to the surgery. That i came out and i saw this documentary on netflix. Call the magic mushrooms or yeah And i'm very good for dread life end of red area. And so i i that day. I just got mushrooms. And i was like. I'm going to take mushrooms. And i'm going to try to solve this dread of death did you do it. I haven't i just. I'm getting him today. Oh yeah And i was going to take them to read. There is and i was gonna walk. I was gonna eat them at. Jimmy buffett it. Here's a here's my concern is some of it. Needs to be sort of guided. Usually the literature is kind of mixed somebody kind of guiding you right therapeutic. Context don't have to you don't have to but but that's improves it. Yeah generally and if you're just taking a big dose it can actually change a lot about you even sometimes so it might be if you're taking a big enough dose to get rid of the dreaded might now if you really at the end of life who gives a fuck right let it do that to you. Laws you know. The drill into lifestyle is going to be panic right then as you said that i don't want it to change me right like the last time i made. Maybe oh you've taken before been okay. I've taken up taking him a nominal. Okay yeah but. I really honestly don't know if i'm okay at from it but i've taken them. I've i've always had fun on them. Yup whereas like just i'm very light. Yeah doses were used to have a good time in the last time i took him. I took him on. I didn't take an accident on accident. Kind of dam is we were it. We have four shows at the We we were playing in the dallas. The dallas funny madison funny bone and it was a saturday and it was right before the late show on saturday now. What i didn't know we had three shows on saturday. I thought we had to and the personnel with. I won't say his name. But i want to so bad but i won't say his name said let's all eat mushrooms and so we all ate much before the shows before the before the second show and we got done and i was like cool go party and then like we have one more show and i was like hold on one second. I didn't know we had one more show. And all of a sudden. The mushrooms kicked in when i was on stage for the late show and the candles were waving really aggressively. And i got done. I thought to myself I thought what if i broke my brain like i still have two little girls there by the way they were like five and three at the time maybe even younger and i was like. I still have two little girls that i need to take care of. And i haven't set up a. And if i brought my brain up then how the fuck had such a panic attack. So here's the deal. Mushrooms usually fine the lsd. It's a different thing. I've seen lots of disasters from that. Mushrooms is usually fine. The question is aid. You have to have a guy that experience and you take enough to really get rid of the dread and not change other things. Yeah so be careful. I was thinking i was going to do like. I was gonna micro dose and then build my way up from there throughout the night. I wouldn't even want what that means. You know what i mean. There's no there's i don't know what it means. There's no there's no by the way. I'm the doctor. And this this yeah you are surgery and anesthesiology dives and see what see what they suggest but i just worry about. What's downstream from it. Always if you're doing enough to have a chain you might change in your brain right when change the anxiety and the dread. Yeah oh yeah. Yeah so oh. I didn't think about that. Yeah and so. It's like if your if your life is ending and you change your brain who gives a shit right. That's why i personally. I would take a huge dose of life. He i would definitely do that for sure. Y- changing who cares who cares going to be changing and a few weeks anyway timid something. That's what my fucking that's exactly. What my anxiety. I don't need fuck changing person. They need to fucking see. Well i one thing. I realized when i got an internal medicine. Everything comes back. I don't know if i want to hear this. Everybody everything was back the tournus when it's time to die when all the specialists are done and everybody's done then they go you go see a regular doctor and he'll finish off you know we. We have nothing else to offer and that was a daily thing from never you know so. I've seen lots of death. I see it's a very. It's a very definite reality. Once you get used to it. It's a it's a it's just like is definite as birth. It's sort of a part of life and the fact that we hide. There's been a great episode of do bears. That really walk with the like. I'm out of here so it It can be as gracious.

silla simon funke honduras Jimmy buffett panama dallas netflix kennedy madison panic attack
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

04:32 min | 3 weeks ago

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"It's nice to get it right now. But i and by the way in this is back to the shaming part. We were talking about why they shame people for those up. Nothing wrong with any of this right. There shouldn't be anything wrong with it but then. Then here's the deal right so the other day On porn hub and it's Young teen gets blasted or something. And i go no. i'm not. I can't be a part of that. But i can't. I can't visualize it's gotta be like just two years older than my kids. But then i thought right how one time leeann our and a friend were cleaning out the friend's boyfriend's apartment ratatouille friends so okay liens best friend. Her boyfriend was moving on. We were going to help them move. He wasn't he was out of town and headed. He had a magazine that was called barely legal. Which by the way was very popular magazine at a point and Leeann her freaked out. 'cause they were like oh my god he's into kiddie porn. And i was like no. I wanted to defend them like no barely. Eagles like just a branding is not and then. I didn't say anything so i was like. Yeah right yeah. And i was like i'm not gonna say hey girlfriend look a certain way. No she's not look barely legal I'm wondering because sometimes she was barely flushable my opinion and in we now now where her but my my point is so just as quickly as i was going to defend him in that moment and was like hold on. I just the brand. It's called barely legal. Obviously they're all above age. You couldn't put out a magazine of underage. It's still it's still weird. That guy has a preference l- of barely legal and put my all over to porn. Now i've been born. It's like young teen young this and you're like an i then jumped on their signs like yeah and that's kind of the weird thing that happens with with kink shaming is like. What if they came up and they're like yo. Donald trump donald trump's about example Arnold schwarzenegger watched a porn. That said young teen gets fucked in frat house. And everyone like whoa. Oh and they'd hate him and they and that is accessible. You can find that. In people's phones people people digital flush. While i'm never fucking. I don't know what i've googled online. You know and if someone they started finding after you died the destroy every man. I would pay money. Pay money to be able to see what people have searched for on the internet. There's gotta that's gotta be the weirdest thing. North korea wants to take us down. Well a weird way. That's sort of what christina does tick-tock isn't it. Oh her you know her brain at work going downstream and take exactly explicit word search. But you can see it ends up. Mine's just puerto rican guys getting a haircut. That's all i fucking something. Well that's all. I watch why i have no fucking idea. I haven't even seen one of those boats. Getting launched boats in trouble Puerto rican guys get their haircut as so they come in like super cobra. Like just fucking all over the place and then you just watch him slowly. Clean them up. It's fucking it's erotic. I mean i know that you like my phone knows it must stay the you know they can even track where your eyes are going. My own my phone tells me shit that i don't need to know where i go. I that is in like this morning. I woke up. And it's like joe coys dating chelsea handler and i was like how the fuck did you know. I wanted to know that you motherfucker. My phone was up all night last night. Going what would it's gonna love this and then grabs it. And then put my first thing on my feet and then i'm like i should tax jo koy and find out if it's true and then i'm like i don't care my phone did such a good job. It is a weird time. It is crazy. What you're i have a great show called that i used to do. I'm going to start doing it against called open tabs where i would leave all the tabs open that i googled throughout the weekend. And then go live or just go through and close them and share with you. What was interesting in that tab. And what i learned. That's great idea. And so i'm going to start doing it again. We all have a full discourse on caviar. I will tell you everything. You need to know about caviar. I will tell you. Re the one reason that was specially work as you're like joe rogan. You're curious and so you'll you'll curiosity here. I i i'll show you what was in my tabs you'll get a kick out of my tabs and your phone. Yeah hold on because it was a. Let's see a.

Donald trump Leeann Eagles Arnold schwarzenegger joe coys North korea jo koy christina Puerto rican joe rogan
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

04:25 min | Last month

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"Oh yeah. I got wasted and said i could do a sixty five mile bike ride tip from philly to city. Yeah and there were like no way. And i partied all night and showed up the next day with my bike and a road bike to fucking atlantic city from philly. That was a huge mistake. All the rest restivos. Yeah you definitely remember that okay The top five places in cities in america. Where you feel like. It's the second home where i just feel like comfortable where you go there and you go. I've been coming in the city so much. This feels like a like. I feel like if a fan recognize me. They actually know me. Because i've been coming here so much. I can't say florida because florida's kind of i mean florida's like tampa's like my. This is my home. So i can't say florida but one no i would say for me. It would be denver. I love. I feel super comfortable there. i would step out of the united states and say vancouver Then seattle Schick kogyo that's so interest and then probably like i feel. I really like boston philly a lot. Okay those those places where i feel like really at ease and i don't feel like where am i really feel at ease in those cities. I solicit six. I feel like the cities that are like second homes to me meaning like is Probably dc yeah philly. Philly's probably philly. Ohio like all of ohio. I feel like there's nine homes in ohio. Because i feel like i've gone to ohio so much so much. Yeah so much. I've gone to ohio. I should probably add them to. And also i left at minneapolis which i always feel very comfortable in I i'm trying to think probably arizona really. I'm going to arizona for so long longtime that i feel like i feel like i actually know arizona. Every time i play. Phoenix is a good time. fucking blast And then maybe i'd say you it's interesting because chicago never had radio those you never had radio play chicago a lot. It's just. I'm listening places that like when i go there. I'm just like yeah. I wanna stay here okay. Yeah yeah i we should go. I gotta go do a fucking. Oh yeah i get a fucking. I gotta move everything this fucking time. You'll see me with musing my arm you're going to be. You're going to be told me where. I'm actually really nervous. And they're gonna be really fine. I promise you this is not what you think it is. It's going to be totally fine. Or it's exactly what i think. It is really unlikely you're going to die. It's we just looked at the odds. I was unlikely you might have like like respiratory system shuts down or something but that's not going to lead guys. Usa last message just in case just in case red rocks. september. Eighth cleveland ohio. The big venues playing. I love your family. And i'll always be there. What should i do with my left. Hand last time on the show. Hold your dick man. i love you. This is bert kreischer for the last time for six five four months using my left arm signing off from this point on you will only see us braced and our arms like this. We should we should have thought of what we're gonna do. Challenge with our left arms when we get them back. I think he's gonna work a lot better than mine for a while. We'll you know what we should do is we should talk about it. We should talk about it when we got our aces. And i'll see you in austin okay. We'll do that next. Podcast will be in austin right probably. I'm bracing you'll have your brace be great. Can't wait. You're going to be fine dude antics today. You think i should. I would ask. I'm gonna ask. Yeah right and unlikely and of lactic shock unlikely to be in cardiac guys great seeing. You is love you tommy.

florida ohio philly Schick kogyo boston philly arizona united states atlantic city tampa chicago Philly denver vancouver seattle minneapolis bert kreischer Ohio Phoenix cleveland
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

04:08 min | Last month

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"You get some cool. No well i might still have time. What are you gonna get her Not i don't know nothin' i might be dead true. Yeah it'd be cool to get a gift from a dead guy. What have you ship it like order. Something today should write a letter. Put it in the mail. There you go and be like. Hey if you're reading this dead. Don't ever fuck anyone else. Don't ever fuck anyone out of the darkness. See this pulls me into the darkness. Might think about this. I start going. I have such a such a what it tends. No writer one. No i don't want her to. I want wanted to be having not now. I wanted to be happy like two years. Take some time to mourn my death. But then i want you to celebrate and live life like every day is your last and stop. Let's this is going to pull me in the darkness. let's go let's go to go towards the light and talk about what twos we're going to get to choose to cover up our score institute to choose say to choose. What are we going to get to cover up our scars. I three so it's going to be pretty fucking big. Ooh sixes six six six right. Yeah and that'd be like it was. The government is gar Bullets knives like like a boss. Rootin- can route spiracy theories. Yeah like it'll be like we didn't land on the moon yay ones like don't get vaccinated back i got i got these vaccines. Oh yeah you should tell people you got that vaccines jimmy doors going through legit. Can i tell you when everything. I heard that. He jimmy door was on rogan. He's talking about his vaccine side effects. You get side effects. Can i tell you. I am not the person that's aware of side effects. You don't know what a side effect. I would never pick out a side effect. He when you're a big drinker you have so many side effects on a daily basis that you just go well. I guess that's because i'm an alcoholic like you. Never go like gem necker. It's i wonder if that's from the vaccine slept wrong leaving wrong and by the way my neck has been hurting. But i don't know if it's from a sleeping i don't know i i wonder. Can i tell you what. I've been dizzy lately like dizzy. When i lay my head on the pillow it takes a second for my head to what has been cloudy outside. Dude that's what i'm fucking talking about. Can i tell you they were like and windy. But we sponsor who i think. It's deep deep deep. Deep deep deep deep steep anyway one of the things they put in there as magnesium one of the biggest things that serbia's magnesium powder like you need magnesium powder magnesium magnesium fucking sleep apnea motherfucker. Do you have sleep apnea while i think tech. I've never been diagnosed. You're on. I don't see what the mouthguard so like if i asked for anesthesia. Anesthesiologists asked me. I'll be like yes it with a mouth guard and so what do they do. They just know that and they know that like well since you have a propensity to like sleep like that if you're unconscious with anesthesia. Maybe they need to use something to prop your throat open so that you don't fucking by the way. I was totally cool. Until i was totally cool with this fucking procedure on postponing it. I mean it's gonna postpone it really fucking. I don't wanna do it. But i just got to keep going. There's got to be people. I watch my six hundred life. There's people on my sex life to get anaesthesia. You're fine dude. You're going to be fine. I'm telling you it's the best. Just go in fucking die. You're not gonna die dude you're gonna be fine. It's just her going. You're killing me. And i'm like farts you're not gonna like a one in six chance you die. It's one and two hundred two hundred. Pull up odds of getting struck by lightning. I wanna find out all the odds i have. Oh yeah yeah yes. Oh this is great. Yeah.

jimmy rogan apnea anesthesia serbia
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

06:06 min | Last month

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"Can i tell you. I am not the person that's aware of side effects. You don't know what a side effect. I would never pick out a side effect. He when you're a big drinker if so many side effects on a daily basis that you just go well. I guess that's 'cause i'm an alcoholic hundred percent. Save all right man. How do you meet celebrities like how do you know how do you like. How do you get these people for. Tom talks Do you know these people. Like the music guy till qualley. No the other musician hand guy. Yeah yeah how you meet. How'd you know that guy. I was I didn't know him. I was put onto his live The the session live. Jesus is the page. So i was told about it And then i went. And i listened like i watched him do a couple of sessions and i commented one a times. He was shouting me out on those so then when he did that i just messaged him and then he jokingly on one of the sessions was like. Yeah we you know. Get on the podcast time. And i was like let's do it. That's the funniest ones now. We're going to do a live show together. Do you know what i'm doing in. A couple of weeks probably have already done. It is eighty-five south. Those guys cannot fucking wait. Here's my problem though is like Like i wonder if. I'm such an old hip hop fan That i won't relate to them at all now you'll be. Are you doing it. Yeah i talked to carlos. Carlos text the other day up. Carlos miller things cosby with a k. K carlos his put type in his twitter real quick goes twitter water water by the way these guys are fucking playing legit arenas right now doing big stuff. They're doing where we doing. We're we're we're we're doing. Keep scrolling until you see him replied to me he goes. Is this true poet. Easier gonna my fucking twitter. We definitely easier to go to my twitter And then you'll you'll get a kick out of this. Okay good on my twitter. And it's like it's got to be the top or they go. Okay tight click that link so go to scroll up scroll up scroll up and then read that one read the top one and then read the top one gag gag gag. Yeah i'm with them on this bathing to little kids every day's a lot of work plus it can really dry out their skin. They spend the day outside in the dirt and they need a bath. So i'm meal. Kuna said they don't pay their kids. I'm paraphrasing in a very incorrect way right now by the way they said they don't pay their kids every day can you. Can you look that up. Yeah oh yeah so ashton kutcher and this is going to be the perfect storm of bullshit right here. 'cause ashton kutcher and kunis went on deck shepherds podcast. Who has non bite me. Or you on his podcast. He's not invited. Either of his podcast. Despite us sometimes talking shit about him wait go go to go back one for for that quote. I didn't have hot water growing up as a child. So i didn't shower very much. Anyway i think I wasn't that parent that baid my newborns ever all right so meal kookiness and ashton kutcher going dot schepers podcast and dax and incre- -creased in kristen bell. We're talking about bathing. Their kids is a nighttime ritual. Like how often do you bathe your kids. Were they every night. Okay we bandar kids every day every day every day. And they're saying that that's part of the nighttime ritual and then asking couture meal kunas who everyone listen to this knows. I got mad respect for what they're about say they go no. We don't our kids. We barely bay kids. If there's dirt on the mobile clean it off right. Yeah but we're not going to pay them all the time because that's not part of thing and then they just jump into the conversation they go. We don't shower that much. Asking couture meal kunas is like we don't care that much and i think don't quote me on this but i think asking says pools count a showers. I'm almost certain no that. But i'm almost certain. One hundred percent allegedly executed said if you go in the pool the same as the shower. Yeah i'm certain of said that let's say mission included. Don't let me forget so you my shepherd story which is another reason. We have not been invited on. That guys podcast. We have guest bear one time. Sure when someone's outta town. And i don't think we'd be going on his podcast. I don't think we want to meet his fans. I think our fans would like him. Okay i don't think all his fans would like what we stand for now. What are we stand for. But we're not. We're not like he is he's like good wholesome it. Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah like. I guarantee you. He doesn't call kristen bell and go his okay. If i fuck entering catchy with a strap on and i'll put it on backwards tailend jerk myself off. A guaranteed i. I'm sure thinks that i'm certain. Dax shepard has the same rain. Do i am certain. Dax shepard if we're in a room of them like we're going to run a trading on adrienne tajik and and we're going to do with dildos so we're not cheating i one hundred percents guaranteed every like like and then we go. Should we call our wives. He's all about idea about. Let me ask you what your shepard store fish okay type in action coocher. Showering we get to call us. That's how we get to the show. Okay ashton kutcher right about how about his How about you in pools. Count.

twitter ashton kutcher Carlos miller carlos baid cosby Kuna kristen bell Carlos Tom kunis Dax shepard adrienne tajik
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

06:46 min | Last month

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"I don't know. I wish you could be more vague. I didn't. There's certain things that i that i that i i haven't liked the way the universe is done him like. I didn't like the vip thing where he had to apologize to give in like in love that okay watch out. No i remember the the actress switching thing. I think i remember him apologizing. Oh yeah oh it was a big fucking deal bothered me that he had to he. Well i don't he wanted to. I think he wanted to see. Here's what happens to me. Sometimes is i. Will smith via the apology i did. Did he want to did he really want to or was it one of those things. Where like like fuck. I don't have to have to deal with this. go right to. Yeah right there. Which will preview the you can watch. You can have the whole interview. Actually talk to her actually talk to her and then she basically chastised him by the way. I'm gonna be unfair about this so realized that i watched it a long time ago. I watched it once. I'm a fan of wills. I'm i'm a fan of his and i'm a fan of his so and and so i got a little defensive of him having to apologize for what was childish behavior when he was a child and he was brand new famous and no one had done like i defended him on on the across the board for like no one had set the fucking the The the life plan of how. How can you be a young african american. Black kid in hollywood was a rapper. Then transitioned into tv's into movies. Blow up the biggest thing on. Nbc's monday night schedule and then and then real actors who have trained actors have problems with you. Have and. I didn't like it and play the interview. Sorry i didn't like it. And and then i just felt like i just felt i feel like lately like i feel like we'll get maybe sometimes attacked when he shouldn't get attacked and then maybe him right now but go but i. I just didn't like it. I didn't i don't like well. There's something like it's change in. That is that he used to be in the media. Landscape was like you put a show. You put out a movie movies a big hit like that's all you need to do. And then he's actually adapted you can give them credit over one hundred percents like doing the social media of doing that big youtube and facebook stuff where he's like documenting him on talk but he also. Did you say this kind of thing. Say you ready. Say i'm gonna say it. It's a really country thing to say. K b account. I apologize to everyone. That's on that list but none of you deserve to be on the list with will smith. In my opinion. It's wolf smith hold on. Let's let's pull up the game tape. Pull the game tom. Gimmie gimmie some fucking. Give me a ho. Will smith highlight reel. Okay now. listen nothing against charlie. Addison zach bella spencer lauren or dixie. You guys you guys are killing it. I think you guys will have huge ahead of you. Think you can all acknowledged though that will smith was a trailblazer for young black men in entertainment across the board. You're talking about dude. Who took a chance and made out with another dude. When homophobia was running rampant in the hip hop culture in fucking movie. Six degrees of separation. Right right you're talking about a guy who literally changed. The landscape of summer blockbusters right he did. And you're talking about a guy that started in fucking west philadelphia born and raised trouble on the fucking basketball courts. Right moved them out your your. He changed network television and he also spoke to people. About how you i kind of. We all agree that our parents don't understand. Don't understand sometimes and so. I take umbrage when when i see him on that list i go good for will i just personally i just i put him on a different level. I put him in a different category for me. Good for well good for well. But i don't wanna see on that list ghafur. i'm fucking. I look at them differently because talks for great is like i saw the one where he was diving in the deepest boy. I follow him dude. I watched them jump out of fuck and helicopter bungee jumping. I watch i love will. But i just i don't know man. I get a little defensive of him because he was the first guy that introduced me the entertainment business. He taught me how to pitch movie. He was the first person to find me first class like everything about. Will i get defensive. Because i go was fucking will goddamn smith man fucking happiness the happiness. Yeah fucking movie dude. That with name movies. I don't know i never saw it. You saw it right. Fucking amazing granted moment the sun. Y- don't wanna see that. Oh dude it was amazing. He's great. Can i tell you something. That's called a black bummer. Normally normally white people make white bombers and it's just a bum you the fuck out and make you cry about some cancers some shit and that was a big old black bummer. And let's take let's take it. Let's take it one step further all right here. We go if we're gonna if we're gonna do monday morning quarterback for how we behaved in the in the early two thousands to paris hilton and to and to all them right into britney spears of my god that poor woman what is happening or stop. Let's stop right there. How about a fucking let's do a big mea culpa for lindsay lohan. That girl got but fucked by the media. End all the celebrities in hollywood. That won't that and she is legit talented. She's probably one of the most talented actresses of our generation. I will stand by that day in and day out. Dude mean girls. Is it not a fucking great goddamn movie. I don't know lindsay lohan right away fucking drumline drumline the fucking banger. Bro drumline is a great fucking movie. Great fucking movie do great fucking movie. Lindsay lohan got trashed by a lot of those hollywood. Kids they all fucking fucked with her. I think they talked with her. She was too young. And she. I first of all she's gorgeous. She is pull up a picture. Lindsay lohan today gorgeous. I mean beautiful body all the all natural beautiful body. Let's not don't get a hot one. Good were instagram. There we go there. We go fucking media. Does you shitty. And they're and they're not going to hold themselves accountable. Gossip dot com isn't gonna hold itself. Gossip scoop gossip koopman gossip topic gossip..

smith wolf smith Addison zach bella spencer lau ghafur wills hollywood Nbc youtube charlie Lindsay lohan facebook philadelphia basketball paris hilton britney spears
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

05:53 min | Last month

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"I love oat milk. Yeah i really love milk. What are we talking about the beginning like we were on a good path and then week. Yeah forget hey. I wanna know about i want to know about So one of the things that was really like ho- like making me like homesick. Was when i got to see you guys do cool shit in the world like fucking vegas chapelle. Do that was the best. Okay start at the beginning and let me know. Every time i named given. That was the best. I so joe had called me a couple months ago and he goes. Hey i'm doing in vegas With chapelle at the mgm. Visit conor fight conor mcgregor fight to when you donald trump got to hang out exactly. You were sitting. How close it all trump outlet. I'll hang on. Okay hooked. 'cause we got easter ray donovan. I i'll tell you this. I say this. The weekend before was my was the first time back in vegas. Since the pandemic it was july second and third you for builders was. Oh yeah everyone was there and everyone's sold out. Everything sold out so my shows were sold out in advance. My october and january shows are sold out at rush like the like people once they announced shows are back. It's like demand. I still have through the few tickets left for a red rocks. September eighth red. Rock less timber outside denver. And that's a nine thousand seat amphitheater and we've got about thousand tariffs left to up. It's gonna clean up but go ahead and get paid now. I mean we got. We got two thousand but clean it up. Let's let's clean it up guys so i get there and you can feel. The energy is like in in the city. You know sometimes somebody you just feel it. So i'm at the mirage Burs at a park Whatever it's called parks forget the name of the whatever park africa. The word park is in the is a casino. Name there so Right what's what is the heart should be. Good should be good parking lot. There's parking lot. Vegas fucking name park. Mgm c mo. Well so now here. Here's my question park. Mb mgm is. I'm immediately guessing. Koreans bought it. I have no idea. i guess. That's an educated borderline racist gas parks a big name right. It's asian food. Hold on hold on is that. It's actually geez. Kimchi on the front fucking. That a korean lady doesn't dude. Well we do know something about the vegas jamie fox. They'd love jamie fox. We do know this about vegas. All casino designs aesthetic choices. Everything caters to the asian community. All of them. yeah. I don't mean like is it annual too i mean specifically they go they are biggest customers and anything that would disrupt or offend the asian community. Las vegas casinos are like fuck that like we do. It's and you can go to mo- most casinos. The nice ones all have like a legit asian restaurant in there at least some asian cuisine colors number everything to to cater to the asian community. Anyway i'm there that weekend. Can we can back. It's everyone's first weekend back. Burr is down the street and park. He's sold out. Chapelle is at the arena on his own. Two nights sold out bruno. Mars is down the street. He sold out. The cirque shows are sold a couple of other big acts. Also everything sold out right and you you feel it in your walking through this and you're like holy shit. It's a lot and like the staff some of them. It's like i one of my my like the person who takes care of the talent there sir. I just got back. Everyone had a year off. So i'm doing the mirage and the shows are like you walk out bananas minutes and there's so fun if you'll so fun to be back and i have. I have a great two nights there. Like i said friends come out to the show. It's a great time. And then i go from there. I think i go here. Yeah i come to la do more. Podcast then i fly to texas. And then i fly with joe and his family to vegas and family went. Yeah that's cool. They all went. And that's a that's a better market difference from when he first started doing a may fights l. m. eddie bravo so he says crazy. I know it's crazy so the whole family's there and dad like as like a girl dad. Is he collegiate girl. Dad he you know he. The what i've noticed is that he talks to them normal dude that makes me so happy. I feel like. I've always talked to my kids. Yeah as if they're adults yeah. He talks to the mary. Fuck yeah like one of his kids is really funny and then like she'll say funny shit and then she'll repeat it a bunch and he'll be like it's not funny anymore because you keep fucking saying you know like shit like that lake. Which is i love. I think that's exactly what i would say to one of my boys but anyway We're hanging out. We get there and it's the first night at the at the arena at the mgm grand arena. Where which is such a famous of all of arenas in vegas like. That's the one concerts fights if you're a fight. Fanning tyson holyfield. That's all these like legendary fight. Joe and walking obviously in the tunnel and and.

vegas mgm conor mcgregor ray donovan jamie fox conor donald trump ho joe denver Chapelle Vegas africa Burr eddie bravo bruno Las vegas la texas mgm grand arena
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

06:21 min | Last month

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"No that's surgery wasn't that bad but they're better. That surgery was like super good. You can't see the scar. Feel it when i do that. I feel it feel it. Tighten up yeah. I haven't gotten my surgery. At guy's we whatever i don't fuck off. Yeah if you can't figure out why this is you've already seen pictures of banking episodes. Yes call banking episodes. Because someone's going to make georgia to sweat his tesco's off yet. How long will you be there. One month god dammit. I know i know. I know and then when you go from there to the road no i have a month off legit month all legit and i'm coming to see me. I know i kinda wanna bring isla bring her. I want to bring alex. I think she would. I want because i. I told her i said you know. I got tom Cdu she goes that you know. I can go tried those right i go. I don't think you know it goes riding as can you walk on water. Like how the fuck you goes riding a serio she was. What's it called when you swing it out and they go a i. I don't know tokyo drift. I tokyo drift those. Tom wants doing. I almost killed me on the on a way you can get worse hurt than this on a cd way you can get so fucked up. Can i tell you. I should try to joke about that. The definite definition of white privilege is a fucking wave runner. Like one of those really. Yeah because you don't really need any talent you just hop on and think you're killing it. Yeah you do use hop on you. Like i'm fucking great at this. It was like being white. You just hop on you go. And you're like hey. I got a job bank and they get. This is easy. My dad got me the jaw. That is actually a really get an meanwhile people of color on the old school jetskis where you gotta try to run their own and color on kayaks. Come on man. Did you know yeah. Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Swimming with has an engine and just watching. The white guy in the center do circles. Oh i have a lawyer. My dad was grandfathered. Me in make yours do this. Yeah i used to try. It's easier to write jokes when i have someone to write. Maybe i'll run all my jokes that i wrote in serbia by you and then you can punch them up so fucking jokes. That are like that are going to tell you the funniest thing that happened in serbia what not to keep hashing over this but At one point they started cutting my hair weird like they were cutting it and to the side and i was like i was like and they were trimming my beard odd. Do you'll see there's a. There's a week period in this movie where you can see my beard trimmed odd. And my hair's combed dodd. And i said to my hairstylist said I say hey that my hair looks kinda odd. And she's yeah i go. You know it's funny and they're doing my stunt doubles hair. Next to me i go. My hair. looks like kozumi's she goes. Yeah he's your stunt. Double and i go. We make my bike like his. She goes yeah. He's your stunt. Double and i went shouldn't his hair like mine and she goes easier to make your hair. Like is i go. But he's not in the fucking movie she goes. Oh yeah good point here. And then i was like. Are we turning my beard. She goes. I've been trimming her beard little short here. We'll grow out. You know fat guys growth. And then she started starts out. she's like holidays. I give a chin like a fake chin. And i was like it's always thanks shauna by the way It was the best the best thing in the world trimmed. All my ghosts hairs stick out. Yeah just went through scissors and clipped That's the beard. Oh that's nice so there will be s. There'll be scenes in this movie will be like hairs weird. There'll be this movie. Where will go like that. He looks odd the by the way. I should do what i should do. A we do a live podcast of the movie. Where i can tell you things definitely and tell you go okay. That's the day. I had twelve cheeseburgers. There's i mean the behind. The of this is fascinating. Because i was completely out of control of times like i found out that mcdonald's there and i went fucking ham. Me and isla watched the founder last night. have you seen the founder. Yes and so. I told isla isla goes what is this the found founder and i go. I go good you like it. She's like really. I loves loves. Mcdonald's loves mcdonald's so we start watching it. he knows he's like his. Is it about milkshakes. Because he's telling me i go. Yeah it's a. It's a movie about milkshakes iowa. She was well. What is it about may go. Just listen if i if. I didn't know isla just listened to you tell stories about iowa. I would think that she lived outside. And would you bring in roadkill for you to fuck. She's a wolf. She said. I switched her sniff something the other day. She sniffed it and her nose. What like this. And i went. What are you doing. She goes how you sniff your move your nose round catches all the smells. I know how that works and she goes try it and then on mike kind of so so we start watching the founder and she's and she's literally petting the dog. She named after the big mac. She's petting mac mac l. sons. She goes others about. Mcdonald's i go. Yeah because mac daddy and she's like yeah and this she realizes ray kroc wasn't the best guy in the world these kind of a little bit of a shit fucking stole the idea and then and then she goes. Oh i fucking hate mcdonalds. And i was like. I just ruined mcdonald's for her. now she's like. I'm never going to mcdonald's again. Mcdonald's is the shit indulges so good and it's consistent. Yeah you go to mcdonald's and serbia you order one hundred cheeseburgers. It's the same thing here by the way you want to talk about american glutton. They couldn't get the idea wrapped around their head tom. They couldn't get the idea wrapped their head. When i said i need one hundred cheeseburgers the. Pa was like. I don't think the right thing. I said no in america they just go one hundred ten and i go no hundred cheeseburgers and then go. I'll tell you what we'll be there all day waiting for cheeseburgers commute forty cheeseburgers ten big macs tent.

tom Cdu isla tokyo serbia kozumi tesco mcdonald georgia isla isla alex Tom shauna Swimming Mcdonald iowa ray kroc mike mcdonalds tom america
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

03:26 min | 2 months ago

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"Was like fucking planet kiss someone. Go up to the seventy. I'm like this is going to happen. He's acting trust me. It's fine it's acting for you. I'm gonna come in my past. I got so carried away with it. That not not like everything acting as fucking normal everything acting as normal but i just got so comfortable liens there that we did a pickup scene. And i wasn't even in the right costume. And i wasn't on camera and kissed her off. Game yuck run. Those like leave be honest. Did you get hard. No no. I definitely have costume. James heavily guarded myself but no it was. It was just partied with husband this weekend in the borgata last week on the borgata we could stop laughing. That like we had to kiss kiss are like fourteen fifteen times right like to back and you get so comfortable with it. Then they change you out of cost wardrobe. You go back to your trailer alert. No literally literally we go back to do the scene. And i'm not on camera. I'm not on camera. i'm running my side. I'm not on camera. She's not on camera. We're behind the camera. And the kiss happened and i kissed her again. Everyone's like the fucking doing what she say. She was caught off guard. Said okay and i was like what. And they're like not camper and then andrew goes. He's not on camera. he's got him in the right work. I could not such a fucking idiot. But i was like i think that's the way i look at. The whole movie is like everything was like a first time like doing everything like everything was so. I'll tell you that it was a fucking greatest on my life. It was the greatest experience. I've ever had and i can't. I never thought i ever wanted to do movies. Ever and and i can't wait. Do another one really. Yeah that that. I'll be honest with you surprises me. I thought i thought that you would have enjoyed the experience that you'd be proud of and that you know it was an awesome experience for you and in my head for some reason i've pictured you coming back and being like you know it was great. I can't wait to see it. Got i want to do another movie for. Oh no it was. It was cool like you. Form like the bonds form like that very. Yeah and you'll be you'll be friends with some of them you'll be like in contact with some of them forever. Oh do stephanie. And her husband and then jess gabor. Who played georgia came to the begotten had. Dinner with mealy and georgian all georgia's friends and just we had the greatest dinner and george friends were like dying over jazz. Leeann staff are like. We're leaving stephanie. An 'cause we were all there together. We went to the we went to the us. Ambassador's house yeah. That was fucking insane. We all got really really close and so steph american. Yeah yeah she actually use them wolf of wall street. She was in the irishman. She's a fucking amazing actress. And you really is..

James andrew jess gabor stephanie georgia Leeann steph american george us
"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

02:39 min | 2 months ago

"bert kreischer" Discussed on 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

"It's kinda gross. And i was like whatever like making jokes about it. Stop by the way. The scene isn't even make out scene and so it's just a regular like It's and so. But i'm i'm joking about joking about it and and then I have a scene and with the growth of my wife stephanie. Who's amazing actress. Really amazing actress. And i'm not giving the right attention. I'm not doing the right thing in the scene. And she witnesses it in the scene and is supposed to be a heartfelt scene where i am like dialed in and for whatever reason by the way i think it's i really think it was my second day acting. And by the way secondly acting forever ever ever in the millis stirred take she senses. That i'm not dialed in and out of nowhere. She kisses me and slaps me and all sudden i'm in i'm fucking an an and we finished in there. That was great. I was fucking awesome. And they're like dude again same way and she and then and then i was dialed in for the whole fucking rest of the day and i said why did you do it. She goes yeah he weren't paying attention. You kind of thinking about like do listening but not really listening. You're listening to talk. You weren't talking and i was. She was like you know. I just thought like like it would be better to like better to get you into the moment you when i was like i go. That fucking really worked. But i just kissed a check and i wasn't planned right and i was like and it caught me off guard called the night i go. Hey i've gotta tell you like yeah. I kiss them home because yeah i know it's in the scene and go no no. It wasn't a abided initiate. And by the way i told other people unsettling it's very interesting very touchy like everyone's touching each other. Um is not splashed over there. I don't think anyone sexually harass anyone. But people are touching each other onset sitting each other's labs like it's really touchy feely and someone had touched me and i had said to them. Just know like. I'm cool with that. But like i'm not gonna touch back and and i just want to make sure that you know like in my head off thinking about like people's fucking comfort zones so in this case gonna call i go. Hey it happened. Like i don. I want you to know that. I feel weird about because i've never kissed a girl like nineteen years. He's just your twenty years. Just been you. And i just kissed him when she goes bird. It's in the fucking sin. Go it actually wasn't in the scene. She did it. It was out of nowhere. She goes no. I thought you had to i go. No no i think tomorrow. You're like legit kissing. Her and i went what she goes tomorrow. You're like legit. You come home off the road and you got kissing lands like i'll be there. I'm going to watch it..

millis stephanie